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anashins · 1 year

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Seeds of Pomegranates

Pairing: god!Jaehyun x human!reader

Genre: Hades x Persephone reimagining, dark romance, hate to love, slow burn, smut

Word Count: 29.5k

Warnings: morally grey characters

Summary: The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.

A/N: Hi guys! Months worth of rewriting and editing is finally finished! This story grew very dear to me since this is my first plot based on greek mythology, and I took my sweet time for the world building. Thus, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The day the god of the underworld stole you away from earth, he didn’t only steal your body, but your soul too.

You were watering the flowers in the garden behind your small house before he did it. It was the first day of spring, the sun rays only slowly starting to feel warm and pleasant on the tip of your nose. Your plants were reluctantly awakening after months of hiding under a thick blanket of icy snow, but you were determined to make them flourish and blossom in all colors again. Your mother always said you had a magic touch for making flowers grow even from concrete, and every year you proved to her that she was right.

From the kitchen window that stood ajar, you smelled the delicious stew she was currently cooking with the help of your little sister, prepared from the self harvested vegetables that had survived this long winter. You were already looking forward to lunch - of which you were blissfully unaware you wouldn’t be able to join at that time.

When the watering can was slowly emptying, only droplets still coming out, you arose from your crouching position with the intention to walk over to the well and refill it one last time. Overhearing your sister placing the plates and cutlery on the table, you assumed the stew was finally ready, so you hurried with your steps to finish your labor quickly.

If you had known that the last words you directed at your mother and sister before leaving the house would have been “I’ll be back soon!”, would you have chosen other ones? Perhaps something with a deeper message like “I’ll always love you” or “I’ll be fine”? But you hadn’t known, so they were left with the promise that you’d eventually return from wherever you vanished to that day.

Even though you didn’t know yourself whether you would ever be able to see them again.

Lowering the bucket into the well, it never came to reach the water’s surface. Suddenly, it felt like the entire world came crashing down on you. Deafening noise replaced the birds’ singing and chirping that had accompanied you until now. You panicked and raised your head, looking over to the house where you wanted to make sure that nothing was happening to your family as the soil beneath your feed started to shake too.

Gathering your skirts around your hips, you prepared yourself to sprint, but as you were about to set one foot aside, there was nothing to support your body anymore in front of you. The ground under you was split, entirely gone, and only darkness gaping at you from beneath. You let out a scream and stepped away, rescuing yourself to the other side of the cleft.

Having no idea where this earthquake came from as they were unusual for this part of the world, you only thought about saving your mother and sister. But as you looked over to the house again, it still stood there, solid, steady and seemingly unmoving. And then, it was gone. Not because it fell into a crater like the one that had split in front of you, but because you fell into one that had opened up between your legs, forcing them apart.

Realizing the danger of the situation too late, there was no possibility for you to save yourself anymore as you fell right into the gap, into darkness, with a long lasting scream.

So, this was how you died, you thought.

____

You had dreamed of your mother and your little sister. Only the three of you, sitting at the lunch table, eating the delicious stew the two had prepared upon your return from the garden. You were chattering and laughing together as always, as though nothing had changed. But it wasn’t real, only a dream in which you wanted to linger a bit longer.

Silent tears had streamed down your closed eyes that were now dried around the rims and which you still refused to open. The surface on which you were lying felt a little too comfortable, almost like a soft mattress. A thick blanket was pulled over your body as well so that you didn’t freeze. You were able to move your fingers, feeling every breather your chest drew as though reminding you that you were very much still alive and not dead like you had assumed.

Eventually, you had to force your lids open. Dim light coming from lit candles immersed the dark room in which you were situated in a soothing atmosphere. Though the term “room” was an understated description for the place in which you found yourself. The closet-like space back at home which you shared with your sister could be called a room, but this was way bigger than your entire house, including the garden, and way more. This was an entire suite.

You braced yourself against what truly turned out to be a soft mattress on a huge bed that was thrice the size of your own, the posts towering you on each edge and connecting over your head in a net of purple velvet. The bed was made of black marble glistening in the flickering candlelight coming from the golden chandeliers, and only then you noticed that the entire room was forged from this luxurious, dark material.

To your right, you spotted two high pointed windows that reached to the vaulted ceiling with interlaced arches, but the view was hidden by curtains made of the same purple velvet that was hanging over your bed. The suite was decorated with long, golden mirrors and stucco of the same color, and to your left, you found a long closet stretching across the entire wall as well as a dressing table.

Before you could inspect the place further, a knock on the door made you gasp out loud and slide to the far end of the bed. You were at a loss about what had happened to you, where you currently were, why you were here. Had you, inexplicably, survived the earthquake and been rescued by someone?

You nearly didn’t dare look when the doors opened and in walked a girl, most likely a bit younger than you, dressed all in black with a golden tray in her hands. She was very pale, but the color of her skin stood in contrast to her dark hair and garments of the same color, the smile around her lips inviting, kind, and genuine.

“Good morning, mistress, you’re already awake!” she chirped in a cheerful voice.

It was morning already? For how long have you slept? “Good morning,” you croaked, startled by your own, hoarse voice. “Where am I?”

“At my master’s palace.” She put the tray on top of the mattress, right next to you. There, you spotted a bowl filled with what appeared as porridge. “I came to bring you breakfast, mistress. After that, I’ll help you bathe and get dressed.”

“What for?” You furrowed. If anything, you wanted to leave right away to return home. “And please, I’m not a mistress.”

“To meet my master, he’s already waiting,” was the girl’s simple answer. “And as a guest of this household, you’re formally our mistress.”

At that moment, it made sense to you. Of course you would need to express your gratitude to the person who saved you from the earthquake, it was only polite. Then, you could return home, so you gave a nod to confirm your agreement despite being addressed as a mistress still not sitting right with you. You would act along for today.

“What’s your name?” you asked the girl as she put the tray on your lap, taking the spoon into your hand and dipping it into the porridge.

For a guest suite so big, the breakfast was very simple, plain even, you silently remarked. The oats were made with water, not milk, so the flavor wasn’t very rich as they also hadn’t been seasoned with sugar or cinnamon. But again, you didn’t want to be ungrateful and enjoyed what was offered to you.

“It’s Ara, mistress.”

The title sounded so bizarre to your ears. You were a simple girl from a small village, not someone who usually resided at such a place.

“Ara, I would love to meet your master and express my gratitude. Take me to him.”

“Very well, mistress.”

____

After taking a bath in a room that wasn’t less luxurious as the one in which you had slept, with a tub made of the same dark marble that reminded you of onyx, Ara dressed you in a tame, but beautiful long-sleeved dress made of pastel pink silk that flowed down your body and fitted perfectly. During the process, you noted that you hadn’t caught any bruises or scratches from the fall, and you nearly started to question your sanity if falling into that crate had even happened at all. Miraculously, you had survived unscathed.

With cautious steps, you followed Ara along the dark corridor lit up by candles, the dark yet lavish theme of the place also present here. It didn’t take you long to find out that this wasn’t a mansion, but an entire palace you had only read about in books. For someone who had grown up in a small, rundown house, it couldn’t quite fit in your imagination how big a palace like this one must be as you rounded corners and passed by more corridors with walls you had to bend your neck to see them end. There were no windows open, all blacked out by the velvet curtains despite it being morning apparently, light coming only from the elaborate candelabras.

You wondered how far from home you had been found as you had never encountered someone passing by a palace like this close to you, so fascinating yet intimidating. Surely, news must have broken out like wildfire already since village people devoured gossip like no one else, especially when it was about something as lavish as the owner of this palace. You were eager to find out and request an escort home.

Ara eventually stopped in front of a heavy door after you had nearly clumsily flown down a stairwell. On your way to here, you hadn’t encountered a single other person. It was quite a huge residence for someone to call it a home to themselves only. You didn’t know what to make of this odd place.

“My master awaits you.”

As the door opened, you found yourself standing in front of a purple carpet that led into a grand hall. The carpet shaped a long aisle with swaths of the same colors on the walls, interrupted by golden candelabras. The windows, spaced every few feet, were taller than most homes you had seen, and the high ceilings as well as arches were just as extravagantly forged.

And there, on a dais at the end of the aisle, raised a pompous throne, tapering at the top in spikes and forming sword-like adornments that were divided by a skull in the very middle of it.

On the throne itself was seated a tall figure.

The master.

“Please come in,” he called out to you.

Even though you were still at the other side of the hall, you heard him clearly, a voice so low, it could haunt your dreams, but also so melodic, it could lure you to listen to its owner for an eternity as well. The latter was what drew you closer as the door magically shut behind you without physical force.

He was possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and even this didn’t do a description justice, you thought to yourself as you stood in front of the dais after a long, silent walk toward it, eyeing the master hopefully, almost imperceptibly. In your small village, you had encountered many beautiful people on their journey across the lands, but even the most handsome ones didn’t come close to the man opposite of you.

Other-worldly, on the other hand, was spot on to describe his appearance. His hair was blacker than a crow’s feather, falling elegantly into his forehead and nape, his skin fairer than winter snow, and his dark eyes clearer than morning dew. He was everything you knew and way more than that, nearly impossible to fathom in human words.

His right leg hung loosely over the throne’s armrest, his elbow propped against the left one as though he was bored, but you didn’t miss the attention and slight wariness in his gaze. He was donned in a black jacket and black trousers with gold embellishments that ended in boots of the same shade. The attire rustled when he settled in a proper seating position and leaned forward as though to examine you. Only then you noticed the black crown that ended in spikes sitting on top of his head and nearly meshing seamlessly with his dark hair.

Having almost forgotten your manners, you quickly gathered your composure, suppressing your reverence for his appearance, and did a curtsey. “I apologize for having let you wait for so long… master. I wanted to express my gratitude for the rescue and for giving me shelter in your home.” You caught him raising a brow when you looked back up to him.

He slowly repeated two words, “Rescue? Shelter?”

You were just as perplexed, but explained your situation calmly, suspecting there might have been a miscommunication from your side, “For having saved me after I fell into the crater during the earthquake. I am deeply indebted to you and will do anything in my power as a peasant to repay what you have done for me. But first, and I want to apologize beforehand for being so bold, I ask to return home and make sure that my mother and sister are well.”

“I haven’t rescued you.” Smoothly, he set both his feet on the dais’ surface and leaned back again as though more relaxed now, “It was me who tore the earth apart to get you.”

A shudder ran down your spine and you took a step back. Surely, you must have misheard. “W-what do you mean by that? I don’t understand.”

He rose from his throne, now standing even taller and higher above you, and you grew more intimidated than you already were, bracing yourself to flee as an eerie feeling settled in your stomach.

“This is the underworld, my kingdom.” Pause. “And you’re going to be my wife.”

____

You were running as fast as your feet were able to carry you. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your slippers, but you didn’t mind your bare soles touching the ground in passing as long as you could find an exit. But there was none. With the long skirts flowing between your legs and your hair getting lifted up by each movement, you ran along the apparent endless corridors, but every door you opened led you into another, empty room, regardless of the floor and part of the palace you ended up in.

There was no exit, there was only darkness.

Exhausted and having to support yourself against the cold wall, you gasped for air, your lungs hurting as you had been trying to escape for too long already. From the window, a soft breeze found its way in, but you didn’t dare to pull the curtains aside, scared of what you would find behind them.

He was the god of the underworld, he had said.

You had heard many people in your village and visitors talking about these deities, worshiping them even, despite no one having met one once. Except for… you vaguely remembered an elderly woman journeying through the country once and passing by your house as well. She wanted to spread the news that she had been abducted by the god of the sea when she was younger, but your mother only closed the door in front of her face. Now you wondered whether she had been right all along as you just couldn’t wake up from this nightmare.

With a start, when you were able to stand on your own feet without feeling on the brink of fainting from exhaustion again, you pried apart the curtains and were surprisingly delighted to meet with light.

But this feeling evaporated very quickly as you gazed into the distance. The landscape was the greatest contrast to your home country that shone with green fields, towering trees, scentful flowers and golden crops. What dominated the scenery here were rolling plains, mostly treeless with the exception of a few clustered pines. Beneath the sky, everything was tinged in a reddish hue, varying from light orange to crimson. Your field of vision was constrained by a gray mountain range so high, the sharp tops ending in red clouds that were so thick and heavy that no light of any sort was coming through. What caused the red lightning though, you couldn’t see.

When you lowered your head, you discovered you were currently on one of the top floors of this dark palace that was built in a foreign, but impressive way. It was a complex, rich system of forts, bastions and towers with sharp tops that sparkled in the reflection of the red lighting and melded with the clouds of the same shade. The building ended several dozen meters below you on a bridge that crossed a vibrant sapphire blue river.

So there was a way out of this palace.

“This is my kingdom and as my wife, it will become yours too.”

You flinched upon hearing his voice, not daring to turn around to him. You hadn’t even heard him approaching, when he had caught up to you. If he was the god of the underworld, what kind of power did he possess? You weren’t sure whether you ever wanted to find out.

“This will never become my home.” When you finally faced him, you were sure passion and resistance flickered in your eyes almost as intensely as the sky behind you. Fear was not a term familiar to you now as you cared more about your remaining family. “And I will never become your wife. I demand my freedom right now!”

He sighed as though he was the one in the right to get annoyed. “I fear I might not be able to do that.”

“You brought me here without my consent, you tore me away from my family, you robbed me off my life,” you spat, “and you’re expecting that I’m going to stay?”

“Even gods cannot defy godly rules.” He stepped closer to the window, but this time, you didn’t withdraw, indicating that he didn’t have such an effect on you. When he stood next to you, tall and mighty, his presence radiating a threatening aura, you still didn’t waver in your position, the growing resentment replacing apprehension. “When a human comes to the underworld, they cannot return on their own.”

“Am I-?!” You gasped.

He only snickered dryly as he looked out of the window. “You’re very far from being dead. You’re still very much alive.”

“Then I can go back,” you whispered more to yourself, this enlightenment getting your hopes up. You would find a way, with or without his permission.

He might be a god, but he didn’t own you. He might have stolen you from your home, but he hadn’t taken control of your mind, or your body. You were still you, and you would use all of your remaining strength, mentally and physically, to reunite with your family on earth.

The god shifted his head as though catching your silent mantras, looking down at you with an expression almost so unreadable, it seemed on the verge of indifference even. “There is a way. But do you really think I will let you go after I did everything in my power and beyond that just to get you?”

Stretching out his hand, he grabbed your chin, and despite all the twisting and turning that you did, you weren’t able to wind yourself out of his grip. You bared your teeth, hissing under your breath, “I’m not a possession you can decide over. If you won’t let me go, I will do it myself!”

He jerked you towards him with his grip and you let out a squeal that sounded far more worrisome than you had wanted to let slip. But as he had you in control with only his fingers, you couldn’t defy the terrified feeling anymore that settled deep in your bones. It showed all in your eyes when he locked gazes with you, his look the total opposite of yours, stern and determined.

Bringing his lips to your ear, the god whispered, “Try, and we’ll see what happens.”

When his breath hit your skin, you shuddered. But not in a fearful, dreading way as his grip didn’t hurt at all. Goosebumps formed on the spot around your ear, running down to your shoulder and all along your arm, betraying your own body in what you should actually feel right now.

He let you go with a slight smile, observing you from head to toe as though he was able to read your body language. Then, he turned around and left, disappearing into the darkness of the corridor.

Rage took over this slight moment of irritation when he was gone, making you kick candelabras out of your way, tearing curtains apart and screaming at the underworld that the opened windows revealed: death, isolation and endless darkness.

And then, despair replaced fury and you broke down crying by the window, calling after your mother and sister.

____

“Mistress, you need to eat something.”

Ara placed a bowl of the same, plain oatmeal next to you on the bed that you, for the third day in a row, refused to eat. You had lost all your appetite, spending day and night in what had been assigned to be your bedroom, sleeping and weeping. Though day and night didn’t differ much from each other down here as you had figured. The days consisted of threatening red sky, the nights of dangerous darkness.

“You also have to change your clothes, mistress. I selected a few from the closet.”

“Why won’t he let me go home?” you whispered, turning to the window side away from her and watching the red sky fade into the black one as one single tear slowly rolled down your cheek. “Why do I need to stay here?”

“Once you’re here, it’s not so easy to go home, mistress. Almost impossible even.”

“Then why did he bring me here in the first place?” Your voice was hoarse from all the crying the days before, hair greasy and sticking to your skin, eyes puffy and swollen. “I’ve always tried so hard to be a good girl again. Do I still deserve this? Is this my very own punishment?”

“I don’t know what you mean, mistress, but it’s odd,” Ara stated nearly absent-mindedly, “the way you humans think. There are humans who would do anything to get into the godly realms, demanding entry into a harem or only bearing the child of one. You’re the first I encounter who doesn’t want all this.”

“What do those humans expect from this?”

“Endless satisfaction, glory and youth, mistress. In the godly realms, you cannot age.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Of course.”

“Doesn’t this sound alluring to you too?” Ara wanted to know with genuine curiosity. “My master would be willing to offer you anything you want.”

“Absolutely not,” you instantly refused. “Having all your beloved ones die one after another until you’re all alone… for eternity? I wouldn’t be able to live like that, possessing all that richness but not what’s most important to me. The only thing I want is my family, nothing else.”

Ara fell into silence. “I don’t have a family, so I cannot relate. It’s nice to meet someone who adores their family though and doesn’t want to unalive them like most gods.”

“I’m sorry.” You turned back around to her. “What happened to your family?”

“Nothing.” She was smiling again. “I’m an ordinary sprite with no powers, I don’t know where I originate from. That’s what we all are here… powerless in our nature, so we end up in a serving position. But I’m not sad about it. I have a purpose for eternity, it’s better than wandering around with no direction.”

You watched Ara spreading out the dresses on the huge bed. They were all in your favorite pastel colors, the color of the flowers that bloomed in your mother’s garden, the material so luxurious and soft upon touching the hem with your finger tips, you were sure you would have never been able to afford even one dress under normal circumstances.

If this was Ara’s only purpose in life, who were you to refuse her offer? A simple favor for someone who had been taking care of you, nothing more. Perhaps, changing your clothes after three days wasn’t a bad idea either. You sat up and inspected each dress in detail while asking,

“You said humans demand entry to the godly realms, Ara. Where are they? The people in the harem here, for example.”

Given the possibility of staying young and wandering around in these rich clothes forever, living a lush lifestyle, you could very well imagine that other humans would do anything to be in your position now. But you weren’t one of those, you didn’t care about luxury, goods and money.

“My master doesn’t have a harem, mistress, nor do other mortals live here in his palace. It’s only us, other houseworkers and servants.”

“Oh. I was expecting…” You didn’t know what you had expected, but you weren’t surprised either. The darkness in this kingdom wasn’t very inviting to live in until eternity after all.

“How about this dress, mistress?” Ara held up a light blue gown made of silk with long, almost translucent sleeves and cut-out in the back. You had never worn something as daring but also as beautiful as this. “I will bathe you and do your hair the way you prefer.”

“What would I need it for?” Only now you noticed that your stomach was growling. Although plain oats didn’t smell deliciously tempting, your body was telling you that you desperately needed to be fed. You already saw yourself giving in to your needs and devouring the oatmeal.

“To meet with my master,” Ara replied as though a given, and you froze.

“No!” you protested, causing her to flinch at your loud erupt. “Tell him I’m not going to meet up with him nor do I ever want to see him again! Even if I die here, I don’t ever want to see him again. I will find a way out myself and I will escape from this place. This, you can tell him.”

“My master assumed that you’d react this way, so he wants you to know that if you meet up with him tonight, he will tell you how your family is doing.”

Your stomach hollowed and not only from hunger as dread filled the empty space and your fingers gripped the sheets, tensely. You suddenly felt so sick at the thought of what he could do to your family out there if he really was so powerful. Would it now always be like this? That he would threaten and you had to comply for the sake of your beloved ones’ safety?

“Fine.”

In the bathroom, where Ara gently scrubbed your skin with oil that smelled of meadows, massaged your scalp in calming rhythms and washed your hair with white foam, you broke out in tears again, but she didn’t say a word and let you cry in silence. At home, bathing was a luxury you were only able to enjoy once a week in a small wooden basin.

Your homesickness came in waves, especially in the evenings when you missed the warm body of your little sister pressed into you from behind, the bed way too small for the both of you, but she was always refusing to sleep at your mother’s side on the bigger mattress as she felt too old for that already.

When Ara dried your body and hair, you were still weeping, but her careful yet comfortable treatment made it all a bit more bearable.

____

“Have a seat, little rose.”

The god was seated at the head on the far end of the long table, and although your set of plate and cutlery were placed right next to his, you seated yourself on a chair opposite of him where you were the farthest away. Immediately, a servant came by to relocate the tableware.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t you like that name?” he asked, arrogantly feigning offense. “I think it matches very well with you. A flower from earth, looking and smelling so beautifully, but bearing sharp thorns that she’s not afraid to use.”

At first, you were confident to interpret his words as an insult, but when you repeated them in your head once more, you weren’t sure whether they leaned more towards a compliment as there was something in his tone that gave the impression, and it irritated you very much.

“Why have you moved away from me?” The god leniently crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back on his chair, no crown adorning his hair this time. “You don’t have to be afraid. If I wanted to hurt you, you would surely not sit here now, invited to dine with me.”

“Afraid?” You frowned at him and lifted your chin. “I’m not afraid of you. I just don’t want to be near you for your own sake, in case I want to stab you. Though depending on what you have to tell me about my family, I can’t guarantee it won’t still happen.”

Amusement played around the god’s lips in the form of a smug smile, your answer apparently surprising him entirely. “You’re a very interesting one, little rose, I must admit.”

“Is that why I’m here? Because you find me interesting?”

The servant placed a napkin on your lap, causing your mouth to water already. You were dreaming of a feast consisting of meat, potatoes, vegetables and fruits. At home, those things were rarely served together, but you assumed that in a palace as huge as this, it was something you could look forward to for dinner.

In such a rare moment, you allowed yourself to be greedy. Mutedly begging for apology, you thought that if it stayed in your head only like all the other things you had sinned for, it wouldn’t taint your image anymore. Nobody had to know if you didn’t voice it out or act on it obviously.

“I find many things interesting.” The god snipped his fingers and you flinched. “But boring humans don’t belong to that category.”

“Yet, you stole one of these boring humans away to make her your bride.”

The next moment, another servant opened the door and brought in two bowls, one placed in front of him, the other in front of you. You were trying your best to hide your disappointed expression, but were sure that you failed when you saw what was in the bowl: plain porridge like the past few days and what you had nipped on shortly before. And

“Others would trade everything they have to be in your place now.”

Your fingers hovered over the cutlery, but you withdrew them again, not wanting to give in yet, despite your stomach making demanding noises that mustn’t have passed by the god himself. Either this was his way of subtly punishing you while you were residing here, but that wouldn’t explain why he didn’t eat something else in front of you. Or this was the only food served in the underworld. Neither assumption satisfied you.

“I’m not like others. I’m not a boring simpleton. I have responsibilities, a family to take care of. How can I reside here in peace when my family cannot even afford a life without me?”

“Because now they can,” he replied simply.

You tilted her head in confusion. “What?”

“Let me assure you that your family has been taken care of. The day I brought you here, they were greatly supplied with a chest consisting of pure gold that will last them their lifetime and the generations after them.”

You shuddered visibly, having no intention to pay weight to his words. “That’s not the main reason. How am I supposed to reside in this palace and live carefreely when I cannot be certain my family is healthy and happy every day, when I’m not there to witness how they do without me?”

“Such a peculiar way of thinking, I have never encountered this before,” he carefully said. “The humans who trade and bargain with us gods just to get the same privileges as you never look back, not even the ones who hadn’t decided on their own to enter the godly realms. When they see what kind of lifestyle awaits them here, they fold instantly. But you aren’t so selfish. You’re right. You’re no ‘such’ mortal. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked a flower with thorns like you, little rose.”

“Then set me free.” You glared at him across the table. “My family doesn’t care about gold or money. We just want to be together.”

He pursed his lips and sighed. “As I said, it’s difficult.”

“I don’t trust you,” you eventually pressed through gritted teeth, resting your fingers on the edge of the bowl, then pushing the porridge away from you. “I don’t believe anything you say.”

He leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table in preparation to speak with his attention only on you. “I have no reason to lie to you, but I also won’t force you to trust me. I’m just telling you that I understand if you’re wary, considering the circumstances.”

“Then tell me why you keep me captured,” you demanded again, suppressing your surprise over his honesty.

“And then you will eat?” You didn’t understand why he even cared in the first place if the porridge wasn’t poisoned, but agreed with a slight nod just to get the reply out of him. “Fine. You’re here, because I need a wife to keep me company. I can offer you everything a female human could ever dream of - a luxurious home with endless space, dresses in all colors under the rainbow, delicious food that doesn’t even grow on earth, and gold to fulfill all your further needs.”

You gulped visibly, but held his gaze. So the porridge truly was punishment only, physically and emotionally. “That’s… that’s all?”

He shrugged, not touching his bowl either, you noticed. “Truth to be told, I thought it would be easier according to the stories I’ve been told. Other gods own harems full of humans who live lavish lifestyles until all eternity.”

“So I heard,” you retorted, utterly grossed out.

“I also admit that, apparently, I know nothing about humans.” A smile tugged on the corner of his lips that quickly evaporated again. Or had it only been in your imagination? “Certainly not about ones like you.”

You cocked a brow. “Humans like me?”

“Strong-willed, demanding, determined. Either I am very lucky in choosing you as my wife. Or rather unfortunate. We’re going to figure it out, right?”

“Again, I am not going to be your wife.” When he didn’t make a move to add something, you asked, “That’s all? That’s why I’m here? Because you needed a wife and I was just… there?”

Frankly, the god apparently didn’t know what else to tell you, what you wanted to hear from him. Did you know yourself, though? What kind of explanation did you expect to make you understand your current situation better?

“That’s all.”

With a start, you jumped out of your seat, the chair making squealing noises as you pushed it along the marbled floor. You glared at him so deathly, it would possibly make every other god fear your presence. But he didn’t budge.

“I’d rather die.”

____

“My master wanted me to bring you here, because he assumed you would feel a bit better in an environment resembling your home.”

A few more days had passed without you having to meet the god again, plain porridge being brought by Ara directly to your room, assuring you that real food was still being withheld from you, but you also didn’t want to ask and cave. You weren’t crying every day anymore, either because there were no tears left or because you knew it was for vain.

You hadn’t entirely given up though. The god and Ara both had implied that there was a way for you to return. Even if it might be almost impossible, almost was not entirely. But if neither of them were going to tell or show you how, you would rather figure it out yourself than sit here in captivity and boredom if either possibility would result in you not seeing your family ever again.

So it was a lucky coincidence that Ara had brought you to the palace’s garden, and you would lie if you said that you weren’t in the least bit impressed about it, because it had everything you had ever dreamed of growing and tending back at home.

You stood there, on green grass with your fine slippers, feeling every soily bump beneath your soles, and what you encountered amazed you very much. Patterned throughout the grass were different paths made of cobblestone, passing by rose bushes, colorful flower beds, perfectly trimmed hedges and marble statues that all came together in the middle of the location where a fountain made of limestone stood out, water splashing all around.

“This is magnificent!” you called out and followed the path that led to the center, the entire colorful and playful setting building a stark contrast to the red sky, but this was what made it insanely beautiful too, you had to admit. “I didn’t know something would be able to grow here!” Since you had been brought to the underworld, there was finally something that remotely awoke interest inside of you and let you push your pain and despair to the back of your head only for a little while.

“Contrary to popular belief, we can also grow fruits and vegetables here. See?”

Ara pointed at a tree that you were passing, red pomegranates hanging from the branches. After weeks of nearly tasteless porridge that was supposed to break your iron will, only the image of the crimson seeds caused your mouth to water immediately. They had been withholding this from you all along? The things you would have done just to taste something different were unimaginable, and you stretched out your hand, reaching for the fruit. You were just so hungry…

“Careful!” Ara warned you.

You reclined your hand, alarmed. “What is it?”

“Seven seeds.” A manly vice from behind you let you jump. “Seven seeds only, and you’ll be stuck here forever. Take one and you won’t be able to stop, because they taste so ungraspable wonderfully on a human tongue. Everything growing in the underworld will bind you to this realm and you will never be able to return to earth ever again.” The god walked towards you both and Ara did a curtsy while you refused to copy her greeting. “Thank you for bringing her here, you’re dismissed, Ara.”

You were petrified when a thought slowly sank in while the servant left you both alone. “But I’ve been eating-”

“Mortal food all along,” the god clarified. Today, he was dressed more casually and wasn’t wearing a crown like the last time you had met, you silently remarked. “That’s why you were served plain oats only. At least they always taste the same. Everything else we bring down here from earth rots right away. They’re living things, not made for death.”

You looked at the pomegranate tree, then back at him. You had been served porridge from your first day on before you even met, and a few days ago, he had been served the same dish as you, hadn’t he? Why? “You could have easily fed me these all along, and I wouldn’t have known. Why haven’t you?”

“I decide over the fates of the dead humans, not the living. I guess I always wanted to give you a choice, no matter how slim this chance might be. Deep inside, I assume I just couldn’t take someone against their will entirely.” His honesty bewildered you. That was not what he had indicated the first time you talked. “Even if you’re a human, you always have a choice. Even now you do.”

“I haven’t been given the choice whether I wanted to come down here,” you spoke monotonously, shaking off the expression he directed at you that nearly bordered sympathy.

The god lifted his hand and plucked a pomegranate from the tree. Twisting it apart and presenting the red seeds in equal halves to you, your tongue instantly lusted after the taste of the fruit’s delicious flesh. You had only tasted pomegranate seeds once in your life, back then when you had saved enough money to buy a half from a piepowder. But you still remembered that moment very well, because it was so special.

“I was probably too naive as I have never been to the mortal world myself. I could only rely on what the other gods told me, and they all said the same thing.”

“Which was?” You averted your eyes from the pomegranate halves before you went insane from hunger.

“That humans would do anything to live in the godly realms, leeching off everything they were offered, such as luxury and eternal youth. That humans are simpletons you could control, could do anything with.” He clearly saw you gulping, which was probably why he quickly added, “But I only wanted a wife, so I took my sweet time making a decision that day. A wrong and hasty decision after all, as it turned out that I’m the simpleton here.” He plucked the seeds from the pomegranate halves and placed them into his hand. You counted seven. Then, he squeezed his palm together, red juice dripping from his fingers onto the soil, staining it like blood. “You better make sure not to go near these in case your craving makes you go crazy.”

To weigh yourself in better safety, you turned your face away from him. “How do I get away from here? Tell me.”

The god drew in a sharp breath. “Someone must get you. Someone from earth must come down here and take you back.”

You got a feeling you didn’t want to know the details to that “And how would they do that?”

To that, he didn’t seem to have a specific answer. “I cannot tell you as I don’t know exactly myself. I heard that there are ways humans can actually summon certain gods, and depending who they are able to reach, they might help if they’re in the mood. The god of the sea demands a human offering for example, but the god of the wind on the other hand just doesn't want his mortal companion to speak a single word all the way to our realms.”

“Why would they do that to humans?” you called out in frustration. “That’s madness!”

“To bargain with a god is a very dangerous game that they love to play all day long. Humans are pawns to them, a mere distraction to their boring lives.” A touch of snideness swung with his explanation that you couldn’t classify yet and thus dismissed.

“And what would you demand to bring humans here if you don’t take them against their will?”

The god rolled his pupils, his patience seemingly still not wearing out while you just wouldn’t let go of this topic when he replied full with regained composure, “Nobody ever did that, it’s quite not possible since my kingdom is separated from the mortal realms. But the gods of the elements or other parts of the earth are always there.”

“So that means… My mother and my sister have to find their own way to come down here. And depending on who they can reach out to, they either face an impossible quest or death?”

“Not very positively worded, but right.” He shrugged. “I guess so. Of course this applies to any human who would search for you, not only to them.”

“And before that happens, I will need to stay here?”

“That’s correct.”

When you sucked in a rush of air, he braced himself for an outburst, but you only asked with a threatening calmness, “Why me?”

For such a question, the god apparently wasn’t prepared well enough. And even if… you were sure his answer wouldn’t have changed from the following dissatisfying one, “As I said, I was given the chance to wander the earth for a day and choose a wife.”

“That’s not what I meant. I asked ‘Why me?’ What did I do? Why not someone else?”

For the first time, you got the impression that you had taken him off guard as he raised his brows, not to talk back haughtily, but because he was genuinely confused and didn’t know how to answer. “Why… you? I can’t exactly say why you…”

“So, the fact that I’m here is merely a coincidence?” There was a sharp edge to the way you uttered these words, and you nearly felt sorry. Nearly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he patiently defended himself in that situation. “It was still my own decision. But the reason…”

“Be quiet! I have never been given a choice!” You laid your palms flat against his chest, pushing him away from you while anger burned beneath your skin like fever. He stumbled backwards although he could fight you easily. But he didn’t. “You have robbed me of that decision the day you stole me away! You have only fed me mortal food to satisfy your own conscience, but I have never been given a choice in the first place! Don’t talk to me like you actually respect humans, because you don’t!”

You saw him startled as if he were human too, a natural, human reaction, and that fueled your anger even more. “But if someone comes to-”

“Nobody will come to get me!” you yelled. “Nobody will come, because my mother and sister aren’t able to! I only have them, no one else! I’ll be stuck here, and all because of you! I have no free will! You have chosen the only human with no choice at all!”

You spun around on your heel and left the garden with him not following suit. And you were glad about it as the first tears started to fall again.

______

You spent your days restlessly wandering through the entire palace and the connecting garden, with no real destination other than the intention of wanting to make time pass in hope something life-alternating would happen. But it never did.

You rarely saw the god and you were grateful for that, only remaining in contact with Ara and the other servants. But despite them trying their best, they weren’t able to fill the gap your family had left. With each passing day, the hole inside of you grew larger. And with each passing day, you wondered how much bigger it must still grow until it made you end this once and for all.

Once again, you were standing in the garden, listening to the stream while having to watch the god cross the bridge every morning and evening to ride somewhere past the horizon as you started to notice a few days ago. You had never asked him about where he was going even though you were very curious about what laid beyond the river. If you wanted to find out though…

“I wouldn’t even think about it,” you heard an unknown male voice talk behind you that wasn’t as deep as this palace’s owner. “That’s the river of oblivion. Once you fall into it, you forget where you are, what you are and first and foremost… who you are.”

You spun around and encountered a man only a bit shorter than the god of this place with flaming, dark red hair, donned in all black with golden embellishments. You had never seen him here before, and his glamorous garments as well as sophisticated and elegant aura gave away that he was not a servant, but of a much higher status and with much power.

“Jaehyun told me that he had taken in a human to make his wife, so I wanted to see her myself.”

Jaehyun… In comparison to the god of this realm whose name was Jaehyun as you now knew, this person had a much friendlier appearance with a smile that was inviting and a voice that sounded playful. “And you are…?”

“The god of sun and light, and everything bright and pleasant. I’m very pleased to meet you, mistress.”

He stretched out his hand and took your fingers into his. Oddly, you didn’t withdraw but let him do so as you weren’t scared of him. After everything that had happened to you these past weeks, you felt numb to almost everything.

You sucked in a rush of air though as he lifted your hand and led it to his lips, pressing a kiss on our knuckles and causing you to gasp in surprise. It was not your first physical interaction with a man apart from your family, but the first with no ulterior motif from either side, a chaste and respectful gesture. You were taken aback and impressed at the same time.

“I must admit… if I were Jaehyun, I would have chosen you as well.”

You were flattered, but not impressed. “It doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like being here.”

“After all this time you still think like this?” He raised his brows. “I’m impressed. Every other mortal would have caved already.”

“Well… I’m not like them.”

“Obviously.” He tilted his head and smiled again. “Have you ever tried getting accustomed to this place? It’s not as boring as it looks like. Especially beyond the river. Even though I prefer the light, this darkness has something comforting, I must admit.”

“Enough, Taeyong,” another male voice cut through the air that you knew very well. “I didn’t invite you here today to put ideas into her head.”

“Even I see her potential, Jaehyun,” your new acquaintance talked back immediately. “Take her with you to the ha-”

“I said enough,” the god interrupted. “She has expressed more than once that she wants to go home, so if you don’t have a solution for that, I would rather have you stay quiet.”

“What is there?” you urged the sun god to speak, suddenly full of hope again. “What is beyond the river?”

But it was the underworld’s god that answered instead, “There is only death, so don’t even think about escaping through these lands. There is no way you will make it out there alive all by yourself.”

And with that, the topic was closed as he disappeared with the sun god back into the palace, leaving you behind in wonder about what there still was to this realm that you had to unravel. If you wanted to unravel that.

Later that evening, you caught Taeyong intending to leave through the main entrance, luckily all by himself. You jumped out from your den, causing him to nearly get a heart attack judging by the way he leapt back with a scream, and asked with a hushed voice,

“What is beyond the river of oblivion?”

Your fingers grabbed the sleeves of his shirt, and he leaned in to you, replying with an equally low tone, “He’s right, there is only death. But that is probably what you are looking for.”

And with another smile, he left through the gates, having opened up more questions than actually having answered one.

____

“Where are you going?”

Jaehyun cocked his head to the side on his way out of the palace when he got surprised by you in the entrance hall the next day. “Underworld duties.”

“Take me with you,” you demanded, noticing that he was formally dressed and wearing his crown again as always when he left the palace. “It’s where you always leave to, right? Take me with you.”

He frowned. “What?”

“You heard me very well. I want to come with you,” you repeated and approached him until you stood right in front of him, already fully dressed in a cloak that Ara had pulled out of the closet for you. “Take me with you.”

He looked down at you, then let out an ambiguous chuckle. “You think if I take you with me out there, you will find a way to escape? You can put that idea right out of your mind. As a mortal, there are more gruesome fates than falling into the river of oblivion that will await you when you roam out there freely all by yourself. This is the underworld, after all.”

It didn’t pass by you that he, for the first time, used the term ’mortals’, not ‘humans’, a fine but significant difference. You wondered whether not all gods and sprites and whatever creatures also resided here were immortal. And if he was immortal too.

It was as though he could read everything shooting through your mind at that moment. Skepticism, anger, disappointment, then again, hope. He had seen right through you. But perhaps not entirely though as there was something he hadn’t discovered yet: the slight seed of curiosity that had been planted by the god of sun yesterday.

What was beyond the river that you were supposedly looking for?

“Still,” you brought yourself to say and clenched your fists, moving your feet in restlessness. “Take me with you. What am I supposed to do here all day, all by myself?”

“No,” the god roared, deep and dominant, and you actually withdrew in response to his suppressed outburst. Regret turned visible in his expression as though he hadn’t intended to sound so harsh as he continued gentler, “No mortal has ever roamed the grounds of hell, and I won’t be the first one to allow one to do so.”

But you wouldn’t give in so easily. “Take me with you nonetheless!” You took a few steps forward until you stood right in front of him and with your fists, you now hammered against his chest. “Take. Me. With. You!”

Coming down at his strong muscles with your hands over and over again, it felt like striking against those palace stone walls, sharp pain shooting up to your shoulders with each forceful motion, and it made you even madder. You now screamed, wanting your way and letting your anger and despair all out - but he withstood it all.

Even when you exhausted yourself, you didn’t give up, even when your motions grew slower and sloppier, your breathing more irregular. That was until he caught your striking fists with his palms, stopping your rebelling behavior with a single grip, obviously fed up now. His hands were so big in comparison to yours, and so unexpectedly warm and strong too.

“You done?” the god asked relaxedly when you had finally stopped fidgeting.

You had your teeth bared, glaring at him, but you weren't physically fighting anymore. Your chest heaved up and down, in unison with his, and for a moment, you both had your gazes locked, surveying each other until a smile raised the corners of his mouth, and it wasn’t in the least bit mocking.

You became aware of the fact that the god was still holding your hands, but it was something entirely else from when the sun god had taken yours into his. They were both gestures with different intentions, but somehow, this one caused your cheeks to heat and change color, and additionally, your heart to skip half a beat.

With feigned disgust, you scowled and shook him off, then hid your arms behind your back in the safety of the cloak.

“I’ll get the horse prepared for two people.” The god looked at you for a second too long, which irritated you very much, then spun around. You didn’t know what had made him change his mind, but in the end, it didn’t matter. “Pull up the hood and make sure to protect your face at all times. The ride can get really dusty.”

As you followed him outside, there was a black-maned horse waiting for you both. You stood behind him, intimidated and amazed by the enormous animal at the same time.

“Immortal horses are fascinating, aren’t they?” he asked you. “Every god owns at least one divinely-bred.”

He swung upon the horse’s back after a servant had saddled it properly for two, moving backwards to leave more space in the front. The next moment, he had grabbed you by your waist and heaved you on the horse’s back like you weighed nothing. Luckily, your skirts were wide enough for you to settle your legs on either side of the animal.

The god then hauled you against his chest with one swift motion, his strong forearm pressed into your upper stomach. Before you could snap for air, he loosened his grip on you again, but left his hand resting right under your ribcage, always on the alert to secure your position if you tended to teeter too much to one side. You swallowed hard as the horse started galloping, and before you could notice, the both of you had already crossed the dangerous bridge with its eerie turquoise water, snippets flashing by that you only caught from the corner of your periphery under your wide hood.

You knew your attention shouldn’t be on the main rider’s free hand gripping hard on the reins that made his veins pop out and your thoughts spinning with fantasies you had never had of him before, but you couldn’t turn your thoughts away from it either. Pleasant goosebumps ran all down your spine whenever you lost your balance for a second and his strong arm around your middle reared you right back.

You didn’t want this. Of course, as a young woman, you had needs and also a fair share of past experiences, but none of it had ever surfaced since you were residing here.

Until now.

____

While you were riding along the rolling plains, you came to a terrifying solution: The redness of the sky didn’t come from the sun and neither from another natural source of light in the underworld that would resemble a planet back up there on earth. In fact, they came from fields far out there close to the horizon. These fields were burning, flames ascending to the sky whose tips you only witnessed when you passed and eventually came to a stop close by.

“These are the torture fields,” the god told you. “It’s where souls reside who I refuse to let be reborn. As you might have figured by now, it’s why our sky is always red. The flames never diminish, they only get concealed by the god of sky during night time upon my request.”

“Why did you request for him to conceal it?”

“The red sky reminds me of what I’m doing, what my destiny as the god of the underworld is. If I can request for a few hours of peace where I’m not reminded of the souls on the torture fields that I sent down there myself, that I am the one causing this red sky, I would do anything for it.”

It was the second time he willingly let you take a quick glance behind his facade, his cold and dark exterior. You wondered whether there was still way more you would need to discover. But would you really want to?

“What’s the fate of those on these torture fields?” you asked instead.

“Imagine the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Maybe you have once broken a bone or sustained a similar fracture. Now, that’s not even the full extent of pain a human is able to feel. Multiply it by a thousand. That’s close to the pain you have to endure day and night, for all eternity. Frightening, isn’t it?”

Frightening didn’t even come close to describe the lump in your throat right now. A cold shudder ran down your spine despite you putting much effort into not letting your true emotions slip. “Do they literally burn there on the fields?”

“Something like that, yes. If you listen carefully, little rose, you can even hear their screams. My palace is located too far away, but right now, we’re close enough to hear their faint noises.” He brought the horse to a halt and gave you a sign to remain silent as well. “Listen.”

You did. From the direction of the torture fields, you heard a feeble clamor as though someone was constantly pressing on a piano’s keyboard, and the tone never subsided. It was a very faint sound, but so eerie that it made the hair on your arms stand up. You imagined pain so gravely, you were never able to stop screaming in agony despite the exhaustion. For all eternity.

“Don’t worry, little rose,” the god reassured you, and you didn’t flinch when he soothingly nudged your side. It had something calming to it. “Someone like you won’t ever land on the torture fields.”

You wished you could believe him and gulped, hard. “What kind of souls would find their fate here?”

“Murderers mostly, to summon it up. But I decide over all their fates individually, so it might also be possible that someone has committed a grave crime that doesn’t include murder and still ends up on the torture fields. And vice versa.”

You had been holding in your breath and only noticed when you let out a rush of air. “I see.”

“Why are you so tense, little rose?” the god expressed his concern that seemed genuine to you. “Someone as pure as you and with a heart as strong as yours would surely get another chance at life.”

“You don’t know me,” you answered repellently, but didn’t shake off his hand that had magically found its way on your shoulder as though he wanted to comfort you physically like a human, but didn’t exactly know how. “You know nothing about me, you cannot tell.”

“That’s true. But I cannot imagine you being a human who deserves to experience endless torture, and I’ve been with my duties for way longer than I can remember.”

“Perhaps, there are times where even you will get surprised.” It was intended to be a joke, but your dry voice didn’t make the sentence sound like one, which was why you added a light, choking laughter.

“What could you have possibly done? Slept with someone before marriage? Screw that, just have fun. Stolen groceries? A peccadillo, nothing grave to be noted down, and even minuscule when you were poor and suffering from hunger. What else? Hurt someone? Most people only physically hurt when they feel threatened or have been hurt themselves before. I could tell you many, many more examples that won’t justify a destiny on the torture fields for you.”

You weren’t an appropriate girl in any sense as you had done all of the things he listed, and even many more. Feeling bound to your family for your whole life, you had never quite treasured your virginity until marriage like every other girl and had had way too much fun in the miller’s barn with his eldest son before you came here. Whenever you seemed short of groceries, you had developed a few tricks where letting fruits and vegetables slip into your bag during market visits always went unnoticed. And you randomly and happily thought back to the time you had once smacked a boy who had made fun of your sister and your situation.

And the god of the underworld wanted to tell you that these were all still justifiable?

“No human is untainted, free of sins, little rose,” he continued. “But that doesn’t make every person a bad one. As a matter of fact, the majority are good people, and I can sense them from a mile away. You’re not a bad person who deserves to endure agony for eternity.”

You rather let him believe for as long as he could.

Though he added, “Everything will come out in the hall of judgment anyway.”

“The hall of judgment?” you asked carefully.

“Where we’re headed to now. That’s where I comply with my duties as the god of the underworld.” As though he noticed your disarray, he added with an edge, “You wanted to come with me, right? So be prepared for that.”

Nothing could have prepared you for what was about to come next.

____

The hall of judgment was a massive cave rather than an actual hall in the semi-darkness of a mountain range that had the river of oblivion flow through. The hollowed ceiling was carried by large pillars merging seamlessly with the stony inside, a long carpet indicating the way. There were only several candles alit, the flames mirrored and broken in the river that threw the reflected lighting into all directions.

You were sitting next to the god on a throne of which you were unsure whether it had been there for your entire stay already as he had initially intended you to be his wife. Nonetheless, it made you feel inquisitive and intimidating at the same time, as though you didn’t belong there but couldn’t request being placed elsewhere either.

“This is where the souls face me, where I decide about their fate. And today, you will assist me,” the god explained after he had settled next to you.

“Assist you?” You weren’t repressed, but rather intrigued about what was going to happen here.

“You’re not going to watch me only, you’re going to judge yourself, whether you send a soul into the river of oblivion from where they will start a new life or send them to the torture fields for eternal pain.”

You frowned, full of suspicion whether you had heard right. “Pardon me? I will decide about their fate? Me?”

“Exactly,” he confirmed with a proud smile.

You raised a brow, but didn’t refuse instantly, to your very own surprise too. “How do I know what happened to them?”

“They will tell you.”

“And if they don’t speak the truth?”

“In the hall of judgment, you are only allowed to speak the truth, otherwise you cannot answer.”

You had many more questions, but since you had already delayed your arrival, you decided to remain silent and just watch. You trusted him to tell you what to do and when to do, and until then, you would only observe. To your clear surprise, a human in its physical shape walked in the next moment, a young boy, not even ten years of age just yet. Just like your sister.

“They all remain in their human form so as to not shock them,” the god explained quietly while the boy made its way towards you. “They will lose their physical shape once I make my judgment, but by then, they won’t remember anymore.”

Your expression changed from perplexity to empathy when you encountered the state the young boy was in, ragged clothes, no shoes. He explained that he came right from the streets, having lived there for a few years already.

The child was nervously kneading his wrinkled hat in his hands as he stuttered, “M-my father died overseas w-when I was only a baby. My- my mother was the sole one t-to get us through the first years. U-until we ran out of money. Sh-she died shortly after and I… I had to start living on the streets a-all by myself.”

“For how many years did you live on the streets?” you asked empathically, not knowing whether you were even allowed to, but it didn’t matter to you at this point. You felt so much sympathy for him, your heart ached.

The boy dropped his head. “Three years.”

You gasped inaudibly, not wanting to unsettle the boy. Instead, you forced yourself to smile, the sorrow undertone hidden by concealing happiness. “You did well. For your age, you did so well. You can be proud of yourself. Your mother surely is too.”

“C-can I ask how did I die?”

“You slept in peacefully and didn’t wake up,” you started, and the god frowned, but didn’t interrupt you, which you appreciated. ”It was really cold, but it didn’t bother you, because for you, it felt like a warm blanket that you got enveloped in. Perhaps, almost like the one in your former home with which your mom would tuck you in. Did you have something like that?”

With sparkles in his eyes, the boy nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I remember!”

“Very well. That moment, you dreamed back to your warm house where there were the three of you. You died peacefully, engulfed in a dream that felt like reality.”

The boy started crying, and you wanted to get up with the intention of offering him a comforting embrace, but the god’s hand latched out onto yours, holding you back. Locking your gazes, he shook his head and you slowly settled back on your throne. “Dead souls cannot be touched,” he whispered only for you to hear. “Otherwise they are doomed to wander these lands forever as nightmarish creatures.”

“W-what w-ill m-m-my judgment b-be?” the boy hiccuped as you shifted your attention back to him.

You held yourself back this time to leave the decision to the god himself, but he remained quiet, only giving you a squeeze with his fingers that were still covering yours, both of your hands lying on your side of the armrest. Then, he nodded encouragingly.

So you spoke softly, “You will get to leave this miserable life behind. You will get to start a new life. You don’t have to suffer anymore.”

“Thank you.”

And while he was still expressing his gratitude, the god caught you shedding some light tears yourself, but you were smiling throughout them in all honesty, because you were so happy that the little boy wouldn’t need to continue living in a world that had been so cruel to him.

When the boy followed a servant to the outside after the god had officially pronounced the sentence that you had decided on, he started explaining, “The moment they step into the hall, I know their backstories, I have to tell you. They only explain their own opinion and point of view to me. Since you don’t have that privilege, I let them tell their backstories too. For the little boy, he actually died wh-”

“No,” you declined determinedly, emphasized by the shake of your head. “I don’t want to know. Perhaps, you don’t understand, but I’m not immune to feelings unlike you who has been doing this for so long. There is only so much I can take in and carry before every single story will break me apart over and over again. Perhaps, it’s better this way, safer. I want to stand by the stories I tell them.”

“I’m not immune either.” The look you shared that followed was something between surprise and a mutual understanding, until he followed up, “So you want to remain?”

“I want to remain.”

In a gesture of encouragement, he squeezed your hand again, only now realizing that he hadn’t let go of it all along and that you hadn’t shaken him off, either.

____

By the evening, the god of the underworld had pronounced the sentence to all souls, you only chiming in when it was a case you could relate to, a case which needed a more emotional approach. In the beginning, it had been an overwhelming feeling for you, holding one’s destiny in your hands as the god of the underworld complied to all the judgments you made without a word of protest.

It made you feel… powerful. And helpful, equally. You were able to take the pain away from these sad souls and plant a more pleasant last memory of their former life into their invisible hearts. No matter the real circumstances of their deaths, you always spun stories more pleasant for their ears, so the majority of souls were allowed to jump into the pool of oblivion, looking forward to a new life.

“My wife killed me, that bitch.” A middle-aged man spat in front of the dais later that day. “I should have taken her with me.”

You leaned forward, resting your elbows on your thigh as you pricked up your ears. It was late already, and you started to get exhausted which was why the god had suggested going home after this case. Though this case would turn out way more different than the ones before, you could solely tell by looking at the man.

His obvious rampant demeanor had caught your attention right away, so you asked calmly, “Tell me in detail, what did you do to your wife?”

"Nothing!" he defended himself loudly. “I did no-”

You remembered that no one was able to lie in the hall of judgment which was apparently why no tone came out of his mouth anymore despite him continuing blabbering. You averted your eyes to your right, wanting to know how the god would react.

You didn’t expect anything less than the following, “You really dare lie in front of the god of the underworld himself?”

“Please!” The man dropped to his knees and brought his hands together under his chin. “I did nothing wrong in my opinion!”

“How about we let your mistress decide whether you did something wrong to your wife, hm?” the god asked threateningly, his eyes narrowed.

“I only wanted to teach her a lesson,” the man pressed through gritted teeth. “If she hadn’t stayed out for so long, I wouldn’t have had to use my hands.”

Your fingers cramped around the armrests, uneasiness settling in where also nausea spread in your stomach, but the latter way faster. You already knew the end to the story before he could draw the entire outline. Again, like before when you had met cases that left you nearly breathless, the god’s palm found its way back to your hand, blanketing it, and his warmth somehow soothed your anger, restraining it. Somehow, you felt it had the same effect on him.

“How often did you hurt your wife?” you wanted to hear from the man.

“As often as I needed to.” There was no remorse in his voice. “Wives have to be obedient to their husbands, and if they aren’t, we have to remind them of our higher position.”

Anger burned in your veins, the knuckles on your fingers turning white, and even the god’s reassuring gesture could not hold you back from what you were about to say next anymore, “So you think lowly of women because we are female?”

“It’s what nature prescribes!” the man yelled.

“Do you have children?” you interrogated further, your fingers shaking by now. You were so close to jumping off your seat and physically taking it upon yourself.

“My wife never gifted me with one,” he tsk-ed. “Another task in which she has failed me as a woman.”

A growl was collecting on your tongue, and you nearly let the sound slip if it weren’t for the god cutting you off, “And yet, after your death, you stand in front of one. And this very one is deciding about your fate today.”

“Oh?” The man took a step back. “Forgive me, I haven’t known.”

“How about you tell your mistress about the child you deemed unfitting to continue living, no matter how hard it was for your wife to even conceive in the first place? Or the bar woman you impregnated instead, but chased away because you rather wanted to spend the money on alcohol? Or the rich man you once robbed and killed, all in one night?”

You didn’t need to put a second thought into your decision. He sounded exactly like the kind of man your father had been - ruthless, selfish, and so full of apathy, your chest swelled to the point of exploding.

“To the torture fields with him.”

It was the first time for you to use these words, you didn’t recognize your own voice.

____

You sent a man to the torture fields and you enjoyed it.

Even after returning to the palace, you still weren’t able to digest the latest happenings. Again. And again, like in the past, you didn’t feel any remorse afterwards. You felt satisfaction even.

“Is it always like this?” you asked when you stood in the entrance hall of the dark palace. “This lingering feeling of…”

“... satisfaction.” A slight smirk was playing around the god’s lips when he looked at your eager expression. “Yes. It absolutely is.”

“Wow,” you breathed, overwhelmed by so much power you had never imagined of ever possessing. “But… what if I made the wrong decision?”

Was that what the sun god had wanted you to see? A side inside of you that you had repressed for so long? The potential you offered when you were sitting on the throne right next to the god of the underworld?

“There is no right or wrong in the hall of judgment. There is only one truth. And the truth in that case was that you passed judgment on someone who deserved their fate.” He inhaled deeply before breaking down to you, “That is why I want to offer you the throne next to mine.”

Your head snatched upwards and you drew your brows together in suspicion. “What are you saying?”

“I offer you the title ‘the queen of the underworld’,” he repeated more clearly, gaze unwavering but not inscrutable. He meant every single syllable, no underlying joke in his voice, the smirk entirely gone and his dark eyes clear.

“I’m not going to be your wife,” you declined immediately again, your voice failing you though, and you were afraid he’d notice.

“I don’t want you to become my wife in that sense if you find that thought so repulsive.” There was a chuckle simultaneously rolling from his tongue. “I offer you the position of the queen of the underworld. I offer you half my kingdom, a throne next to mine and a crown made of darkness, just like mine.”

You stood in front of him, feeling very lost at that moment, but also very intrigued. The words that he uttered, you had never dared to even take them into your mouth, let alone speaking them out. “I-” You opened your mouth, but no refusal came out this time.

You wanted to reason with your mother and sister, but living here had made you realize that they were probably better off without you if they were going to get taken care of with gold to last generations. If you would ever get the chance to return to earth, you would need to get married to someone you probably loathed and lived a boring life as a housewife.

Then, you wanted to argue with the fact that you missed the sun, nature, flowers and everything earth offered to you. But did you really? On earth, flowers withered at the end of every summer, months of coldness dominating your part of the world for the majority of the year. You started to question whether you would have lived a fulfilling life if you had continued like this, only looking forward to spring and rotting away in boredom when the world got blanketed with snow, fighting for survival, year after year.

Here in the underworld, there were no such things as seasons. The darkness might have appeared threatening at the beginning, but you had slowly started to grow accustomed to the different lightning and the constant pleasant temperature. By now, you had also found beauty in the absolute darkness of the night and the sunset-like sky during daytime.

A conflict spread out inside of you that you had never imagined of ever leading. Had you already found your true fate back then on earth or have you always been destined for more in another world?

“You only want me to stay because you feel lonely, that’s why you’re offering me the throne,” was your feeble attempt of rejection. “But I’m not like you, Jaehyun. I cannot live this life here.”

“You are very much like me, little rose,” Jaehyun corrected with a growing, new smile you couldn’t define, and then reminded you, ”Did you forget that destiny doesn’t only mean endless torture? The little boy who you sent into the river of oblivion, he will get the chance to start a new life, leaving the one behind in which he only experienced sorrow and suffering. How did you feel at that moment? Didn’t you feel helpful, relieved or even happy for him? Because that’s what will also be required of you as the queen of the underworld. You’re an executor and a savior both at the same time. You’ll be the most powerful queen to ever exist.”

“T-tell me,” you stuttered, “t-tell me the truth. That day… it might have been a coincidence that you were near me, but what made you choose me?”

It couldn’t have been a coincidence only. There must be more to it. There must be a reason you were here now, a sign that this was your fate for which you had always been destined. It would give you the ultimate assurance, a reason less to doubt your entire existence.

“Aren’t you one sneaky little thing, my rose? I wanted to tell you that day already, but you weren’t ready to hear.” Jaehyun stretched out his hand and let the tip of his index finger run along your chin. You shuddered - in full pleasure so obvious, he must have felt it too. And he must have also felt your disappointment when he withdrew his hand again. “Before you appeared here… I mean, before I stole you - pardon me - I was very lonely. So I asked for one day on earth to search for a fitting wife as I haven’t found one among my own kind. But who I got drawn to, precisely by their sugary scent that even overshadowed the flowers and morning dew wrapped pollen on the fingers, wasn’t a timid daisy in a bed full of asters. It was a rose itself who harbored thorns, and I believe, deep within, I knew all along that I finally found someone not only fit to warm my bed, but to reign alongside me. Seldomly have I met someone so strong-willed and fierce like you, lest a mortal. If you decide against the crown of immortal flowers that I offer you, it will be really unfortunate for me as I paid a huge price for getting you.”

You gulped. “...Which price?”

“I will never be allowed on earth again.”

You understood why he wanted a companion as you couldn’t imagine living at such a huge place all by yourself either. The corridors were long, dark and branched, servants strictly following their duties and always keeping their distance to their master despite him treating them respectfully. Then, there were the endless rolling plains with nothing but dust and nightmarish creatures. The darkness from the underworld must have taken over his heart a long time ago as well, and he was looking for a glimmer of light.

You just weren’t sure whether you were the right one. He hadn’t been able to give you the entire reassurance you still needed.

“That’s unfortunate,” you brought yourself to say eventually. “But I can’t.”

A strand of your hair got lifted up, and he twirled it around his finger, observing it closely and seemingly enjoying the softness that curled around his skin. You had never seen him so at your mercy and apologetic before. “I only had one chance that would define my own destiny which will last an eternity. If I made the wrong choice in selecting you, I am deeply sorry. If there was more that I could tell you, I would. But there isn’t. You were there, and I wanted you. Why don’t you want me too, little rose?”

Your breathing came in hitches. “What would that make me, Jaehyun?”

Leaving your family behind to live in sin here in the underworld. It would make you an outcast, someone expelled from society, someone with no dignity. But then again, when had you ever been someone who was worth more on earth? Weren’t you exactly where you were supposed to be, where darkness reigned like the one which occupied your heart ever since that fateful day a century ago?

Jaehyun’s hand was now on the side of your face, and you fought the urge to nestle against his palm. You relished the feeling the tip of his thumb made when he brushed it over your cheek though, and you wanted more of it, all over your body precisely. You just knew it would be entirely different than what you had experienced with mortal men before. But then again - what would that make you?

“It would make you a human,” Jaehyun calmed you, his expression smoothening despite the obvious threat on his throat. “Just like you are. Don’t you ever forget that. You are allowed to accept every part of you, to feel everything you’re harboring.”

“But it’s just… so hard,” you whispered, unsure what he was even talking about anymore, you being queen or the possibility of you two sharing more than the throne, but also a bed.

“You are a constellation, waiting to be explored and loved. Did any man who ever tried to court you understand that you were so much more than a maiden hidden away in her house’s backyard? Because I understand.”

There was something glittering in his eyes despite stars being absent here. You opened your lips and closed them again, fighting so hard against the need of wanting them to taste his.

“You fought so bravely against it. You can allow yourself to finally let go, little rose,” Jaehyun encouraged you with a low whisper. Again, you were questioning whether he actually meant the darkness in your heart or the need of his lips covering yours.

“I-I-...” You let out a long breath that you had been holding in this entire time and took a step back, away from him and from his alluring appearance. “I’m tired. I will return to my chambers.”

You almost stumbled over your own feet running to your chamber, setting one hasty foot after another. When you reached your room, you locked the door behind you as though you were afraid he might follow you and barge in.

As you laid in your bed shortly later, you caught yourself wishing he had done so. And you also caught yourself having naturally addressed him by his name somewhere along the way.

Like he wasn't a distant god or master anymore. But an equal.

____

“Do humans live with you?” you asked Taeyong the next day after encountering him in the garden, joking around with the servants.

Apparently, he had had a few duties close by and decided to pay the dark palace a visit. As it came to your attention through him a short while ago, Jaehyun’s palace was described as such by outsiders.

Taeyong laughed, but the smile that he forced himself to wear meanwhile wasn’t sincere. “No, I don’t support this kind of lifestyle.”

“Why? Don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side, but why does your opinion differ from the other gods?”

“The woman I love is a human, what would that make me, abusing her own kind?”

The pain in his voice couldn’t be ignored, it was too obvious, intended or unintended. But it was not the kind of pain a rejected lover would express. “So you’re in love with a mortal, I see.”

“Not just a mortal, a human,” he corrected. “We gods are all immortal, but there are other creatures such as sprites who are also otherworldly, but can indeed die, so they’re mortal. Some humans here have also gained immortality. Mortals and humans are not the same term.”

He confirmed what you had suspected all along. Finally, you understood why Jaehyun had always spoken about humans only and not about mortals when addressing your kind. It was because in the dark palace, he was the only immortal one.

“I understand. Then… tell me about her, Taeyong. What makes you so sad about her?”

“The fact that I don’t want to love her, and she doesn’t want me to love her either, but I would even give up on my immortality just to be with her. I would instantly go and trade my immortality despite a god never having done that before, and I don’t even know whether it’s possible, but if, I would in a heartbeat.”

The way he spoke about her, soft and passionate, reminded you of the way Jaehyun spoke to you lately, and suddenly yearning tugged on your heartstring, even though he was only a few yards away from you inside the palace.

“It must be a huge sacrifice for a god to be willing to give up their immortality for a human. It sounds like you sincerely love her.”

“I don’t love her sincerely,” Taeyong continued bluntly, shocking you. But a tinge of the same yearning resonated in his tone too, so you were truly confused about his contradicting reaction. “It’s not the kind of love I wish upon anyone. I haven’t chosen her, but every fiber of my heart longs for her love. One day, it will tear me entirely apart. It will be the day she dies.”

You frowned. “I don’t think I understand…”

“I’m cursed by the god of love. Ironic, isn’t it?” He let out a laugh, but it didn’t sound amused at all, bitter even. “I’m cursed to love her until the end of days, and she’s cursed to not reciprocate it.”

It sounded so sad and unfortunate to you, you didn’t quite know what to say. “I’m so sorry.” You couldn’t imagine how painful it must be to feel and live like this. And what would happen if she died one day? Would he continue loving her and longing for her when all traces of her had evaporated, for all eternity? You repeated, this time much more sensitively, “I’m so sorry, Taeyong.”

“Now, don’t look so sad, there is nothing to be sad about,” Taeyong tried to cheer you up. “I have arranged myself to live like this. That’s why I think you’re very lucky.”

“Me?” You pointed at yourself. “Why should I be?”

“Because humans still know what true love is. They can decide on who to be with, who to open their hearts to, who to let in. Most gods solemnly seek for the comfort of a warm body next to them at any given time, or marry only out of convenience. Some gods are cursed, just like me, some even happen to face a worse fate. Only the minority don’t seek for a puppet or an arrangement, but a real partner. Like Jaehyun.”

You sneered. “According to everyone else, he’s one of the most powerful gods in your entire realm. Why would he care for a real partner, a human even?”

“You don’t know him very well, do you? He might have only searched for a timid wife to sit next to him in the throne hall and perhaps show him a bit of affection. But that would have never been enough for him, and he always knew, otherwise he would have picked the first human he saw.”

“All I’m saying is,” you defended your opinion, “I might not be the right person for whatever he requires of me.”

Taeyong shrugged, but not with an indifferent intention. “You might be the exact right person for this as he doesn’t require anything from you except for you just to be you.”

“Why would you say that?” you sighed, distressed.

“Jaehyun traded his permission to be allowed on earth to find you. It was risky and stupid, I can admit that, but at least he went after what he had been searching for this entire time. It impresses me very much. Doesn’t it impress you too?”

“That’s not a good enough reason. He only had one shot,” you tried to understand. “And he picked me. What if he chose wrong?”

“That is your perception.” Taeyong smiled, no trace of sadness anymore. “Mine is that he was a lonely man looking at a million women in the span of half a day. And he didn’t need to look at a million other women and take the remaining hours to settle with the last possible option out of pure panic, because he ran out of time. He went for what caught his eye, felt right to him and gave him hope. Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

You fell into silence.

“Ah, I must go now. But just let me tell you this one last thing.” You raised your brows in expectation, watching Taeyong shift around and seamlessly continuing without looking back, “Jaehyun is the god of the underworld. Never has he made a wrong decision.”

You wished you didn’t believe him.

____

Jaehyun probably knew it the moment you walked into the great hall that day. He probably saw it in the nervous flickers of your eyes, he probably smelled it in the light sheen of sweat glistening around your cleavage, probably heard it in the ragged breaths of your lungs.

You had come to kill him.

But he didn’t say a single word.

Your walk wasn’t as determined and full of confidence as usual, the steps barely heard as though you might change your mind every second. The silver blade was glistening between your fingers and then slipped up your sleeve again in hope he hadn’t seen.

“Did you think about my offer, little rose?” Jaehyun asked almost nonchalantly as he moved on his throne, but didn’t descend.

Today, he was wearing his dark crown at home again. Ironically, on his death day too, you thought silently to yourself. “Yes,” you announced and let your head drop when you stood in front of him. “I can’t.”

“And why is it that you think that you can’t? You’re a human, someone with a free will. We gods don’t have that.”

“It’s because I have a free will that I decide against your offer.”

“Very well. I accept that.” He let out a long sigh that didn’t sound in the least bit agitated though. “If you ever change your mind while you’re still here, I am willing to get back to my offer.”

“I’m afraid there is not enough time.”

Then you lashed out, and the next moment, he had a knife to his throat, blood spilling where the blade cut into his skin. It was only lightly, but enough to tear apart even the sheerest of paper. You didn’t dare to push deeper, your trembling fingers clinging onto the handle when you settled on his lap with your legs locking him in place on either side.

“Why don’t you stab me?” Jaehyun whispered, not moving a single inch.

You were aware he couldn’t die, not from your mortal hands. This action was your feeble attempt and last resort of holding onto something you should have left behind the moment you had stepped into the darkness: humanity. If you stabbed him, you wouldn’t feel the same as with your father back then. If you stabbed him, you would feel remorse, and that would remind you that you were still all that - a human.

You ground your teeth, breathing irregularly while having difficulties remaining the knife in its position. Jaehyun was still sitting quietly beneath you, looking up at you with expectant eyes that didn’t mirror anything like reproach or anger. He knew you wouldn’t do that, he knew that exactly, and that fueled your despair even more, because, in the end, you had known all along too.

“You can defy everything, little rose, even me,” Jaehyun muttered, stretching out his hand that then touched a strand of your hair and gently tucked it behind your ear. “But the truth is that you want me, and this life. And it’s killing you. Not me.”

You had never wanted to be anything less than extraordinary, but no one had ever told you that you could possibly be bound for so much greater either. Restless in your own world, you had tended flowers day for day, wondering if there was more to life than the one you were living. You had always been subconsciously rattling on the invisible chains of simplicity, boredom and too much comfort, struggling to let go fully.

And now he, the god of the underworld himself, was pressed into the throne in front of you, not fighting back under the threat of your knife, even though he was able to unalive you with only the flick of his finger. He was patiently waiting for your decision, had seen and fostered your potential from the very beginning.

You weren’t a timid little flower in the backyard anymore.

You were the dangerous seeds of pomegranates.

“Tell me, little rose, will you accept even the darkest parts of you like I do?”

A few beats of silence passed by where Jaehyun only heard your rattled breathing going hand in hand with the erratic rhythm of your chest heaving up and down, until the knife dropped to the dais with a loud noise. His fingers grazed over your scalp, settling there shortly before they grabbed a bundle of hair, preparing to haul you to him.

But he didn’t need to. Willingly, you leaned down, stopping right before your lips touched his, wavering in that moment a little too long. Jaehyun’s fingers slipped from the back of your head past your ear, touching your cheek. He was so close, you could feel his breath stroking your chin as his finger tips slid further, trailing over your bottom lip.

Your eye contact was so strong and more intense unlike anything you had ever experienced before. He was exploring the deepest parts of your soul with his gaze only, making you wonder how much longer it would take Jaehyun to unravel all of you without even having touched you more intimately.

Instinctively, you parted your lips, and he slipped his thumb past them. With the tip of your tongue, you licked over his skin, then started sucking on his finger. This gesture had something so tainted yet intimate to it, you feared that he might withdraw right away, but the look in his eyes and his own slightly agape mouth only reassured you of the fact that he found it as seductive as you.

But Jaehyun was still awaiting your answer before it was processed. You were sure though that whatever would start to happen next, it would be world-destructive in so many senses. You only hoped you would be prepared for it.

You sucked in a huge breather and Jaehyun retracted his hand from your mouth as he assumed you wanted to say something. There was much expectation lying behind his awaiting eyes, even though you both knew by now what your answer would be.

“Beg.”

Jaehyun cocked a brow. “Pardon?”

“Beg for it.”

You could clearly see the struggle in his eyes, and even a touch of indignation, but as he saw how serious you were about it, he apparently swallowed all his pride.

“Please,” he growled lowly. “Be my queen.”

“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” you finally whispered as you hovered above him with not much resistance.

At this moment, you laid bare in front of him, with your soul and mind at his mercy, and he could do anything he wanted with it.

But he didn’t.

Instead, Jaehyun let you come forward and close the last remaining space between the two of you as you pressed your lips against his, reassuring him of your words’ honesty. You had made your decision, and you were willing to take everything that came along with it - including the god of the underworld himself.

Suddenly, Jaehyun gasped in shock when he tasted something familiar on your tongue.

There it was.

Pulling away, he snatched your hand, spotting red stains on the tips of your fingers and whispering breathlessly, “Pomegranate seeds.” And then louder, “You ate pomegranate seeds!”

You clarified, “Seven of them, to be exact.”

By the way he examined your lips and licked over his own, he must by now also spot and taste the red seeds on your own mouth that had passed by him before.

"You deceived me,” Jaehyun realized. “You never needed me to beg for you to be queen.”

“I needed to be sure you truly meant it,” you disclosed the truth to him. “Whether you would be able to lay your title aside for me and open up to me about what you truly want, as a man and not as a king. Whether you would see me as an equal.”

He hesitated. “What if I had said no?”

One edge of your mouth curved upwards. “From the very beginning, I knew you wouldn’t.”

“How lucky you are, as a queen isn’t to be opposed,” he then said with a smirk, “she’s to be obeyed and worshiped.”

When your lips came together again and his hands grabbed hard on the tender flesh of your buttocks, you were both aware that you had never needed to be convinced to stay with him in the first place.

_____

Jaehyun’s hands weren’t on your face anymore as his mouth gave you all the attention you needed there, lips and tongue deep inside you. Instead, you felt his palms pressing into your exposed thighs after he had successfully and nearly imperceptibly pulled your skirts up, skin grazing against skin, his touch causing you to shudder with craving so unfathomable, you believed you were going to burst. This time, from bliss only.

His tongue outlined the form of your lips, your mouth then again melting into the kiss you two were sharing, so passionate and full of yearning as though you had been waiting a lifetime for only this moment. In both of your cases, it was applicable - the god of the underworld who had been alone all along, and a mortal girl who was bound for so much more than a simple life on earth.

Your back arched into Jaehyun’s body when his hands wandered upwards and curled into the curve of your spine, his fingers dancing across the naked skin under all the fabric which hung flattery around your figure. Without breaking your kiss, you gripped onto the very first button of his black shirt and undid it, your hands stained with the blood of the wound that you had caused earlier.

Snapping back to reality, you bounced back with a gasp, inspecting Jaehyun’s neck that now looked surprisingly unscathed where your knife had once slid through, only the spilled blood remaining. “Wha-”

“We gods heal way faster than humans, because that’s what we are…” he explained patiently, “immortal.”

That was something you hadn’t put further thought into, but absolutely made sense considering that you technically couldn’t kill him. Somehow, a bad conscience still seeped into you, so you said, “I’m sorry” with much regret in your voice.

“Don’t apologize, little rose,” was only his answer, adorned with a smile while his fingers fiddled with the collar around your cleavage. “You did what you had to do. It was important to me that you weighed all your options and still decided to be with me.”

Jaehyun tugged on your sleeves, pulling the upper part of your dress all the way down. The fabric settled around your hips with loud rusting, and only now you noticed that he had grown distinctively hard between your thighs. It aroused you very much as well, a cool breeze caressing your breasts and making your nipples turn hard.

You had never carefully paid attention to what you considered flaws on your body, but the god sitting under you was incontrovertibly perfect and you, as a human, certainly didn’t perceive yourself in the same way. There was nothing to hide your naked body behind in this short span of doubt, but your shoulders slacked nonetheless, especially in this dominant position, and he noticed.

Jaehyun lifted you off his lap with a surprised sound falling from your lips. Your thighs were locked around his hips and you held onto him while he descended from the throne and placed you with your back on the carpet in front of the dais. With your arms slung across your chest while now lying in front of him, you tried to hide from him what you considered unpleasant for his eyes. You had never had this problem during your fleeting intimate encounterings before.

“Please don’t be insecure,” Jaehyun spoke gently, looming over you. “You’re so beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you.”

Oddly, you believed every single word and willingly freed your chest as your thoughts and worries started to leave your mind. His tongue flicked over your nipple and with a moan, you threw your head back against the carpet, your fingers buried in his thick hair which was free from a crown now, scratching his scalp when he decided to gently suck on your peaks in alternation. It made you grow hot and wet in your nether regions, and you started to ache with the need for release.

You whined when Jaehyun suddenly withdrew, but let out a yelp when he grabbed your thighs, yanking you towards him and burying his face between your legs under the many layers of your skirts. His tongue indulged you, making hard passes over your folds before flicking your clit over and over. You hadn’t known what to expect of a god, but literally devouring you kind of made sense now.

His tongue was long, wet and thick, and it slid over your exposed parts in delightful strokes, the groaning sounds Jaehyun made meanwhile vibrating through you and almost making you cum on spot if it weren’t for him deciding to use his lips next. They felt full and warm on your wetness when he sucked on you, and you calmed down a bit, moving your body to the same sensual rhythm as his caressing mouth.

“You taste better than the pomegranate seeds,” Jaehyun told you when he appeared by your face again, licking over his wet lips.

He wanted to prolong the act, but that didn’t withhold him from having fun, so he started playing with you through his rough fingers rubbing soft circles around your clit while observing you with a satisfied grin. These fingers then moved past your barrier and started to thrust inside of you, causing you to fidget with your legs, wanting to get rid of the dress that you suddenly didn’t see as a protection from your mortality anymore, but an annoyance.

Jaehyun, as though an expert in reading your needs now, helped you with that and dragged the entire dress down your legs, throwing it aside. You watched him then elegantly and calmly undressing himself too, and when he dropped on his knees in front of your spread legs, entirely naked, his appearance just took your breath away.

He was magnificent. And he had decided on you to make his queen. Out of all creatures, mortal and immortal, human and god, he had decided on you. Suddenly, you didn’t see it as a punishment anymore, but a blessing. You were so lucky.

Jaehyun positioned himself between your thighs, slowly stroking his length against your entrance that was already slick with precum. You guessed everything that worked for humans worked for gods too. And that also included pain as you hadn’t had sex in so long already.

There was indeed a pang as he pushed himself inside, but it lasted only the break of a second that he luckily didn’t catch before it melted into pleasure, and it was the kind of pleasure you hadn’t been able to ever fathom before. It felt like something fell into place, like finding something that you had grasp seeking for all your lifetime and had just now discovered.

The way he slid his length in, slowly, inch by agonizing inch, was what you would describe as pure bliss, the most decadent, indulgent pleasure you had ever felt. You reached down and grabbed his bum, pulling him into you so that he sank even deeper if that were even possible as he had already hit the brim.

“Already so insatiable, little rose?” Jaehyun groaned with an underlying chuckle, propping his hands against the carpet on either side of you. “Or should I call you ‘my queen’ from now on?”

He wasn’t even expecting an answer as he knew your clear response to it. His first thrust then inside of you was already so powerful, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.

You weren’t his captive, nor his prisoner. He had never seen you as such. You were soon to be the queen by his side, his equal. Yet, all you wanted was him to fuck you senseless, devour you, ravage you, and worse. And you had the feeling that the god of the underworld wouldn’t mind doing all that as the sinister grin on his lips slightly gave away while you whispered almost absent-mindedly,

“More, more!”

Your fingers curled around the rug beneath you whenever he pulled back, his muscles straining and drawing in a deep breath before he slammed right back into you, causing you to gasp loudly, the echo getting carried across the wide hall. You hadn’t deemed it to be possible, but you swore that with every thrust, he drove in even deeper. A cry strangled in your throat, your vision rolling back as you had difficulties keeping eye contact with him. Your naked bodies moved together in unison despite you having feared at first that you might have forgotten how this act worked.

For this being you two’s first joining, you didn’t feel inferior or controlled like in the past when you had used sex and everything forbidden only as a coping mechanism. Every noise you made, whether dry moaning or lustful cry, was because of pure pleasure, and Jaehyun always responded with a short pause where he looked you longingly in the eyes and halted his motions for a moment before starting off shallowly again as though he quite couldn’t believe you were there. You couldn’t either.

With each kiss, you felt adored. With each touch, you felt appreciated. With each thrust, you felt worshiped. It wasn’t only about him, but about you too, regardless of your human nature.

Pleasure quickly started to build and grow within you, and you were afraid you were going to faint on the spot as Jaehyun’s rhythm changed and he picked up his pace. Your mortal body was supposedly too weak and too fragile to take everything he could give all at once despite you wanting to explore everything, all of it.

But you couldn’t just yet, despite him clearly willing to give you all you needed, for as long as you wanted. If you continued, you feared you might really splinter and be impossible to put back together, dying right there in his arms, because the bliss was too much for a human to take in.

“Please,” you were the one begging now, your hands coming forward and clutching around his toned arm muscles. “I can’t anymore. I need to-”

“Very well, my queen.”

The new title was music to your ears, and the moment you saw stars exploding in front of your eyes, you also witnessed the sparkles merging and forging a crown made of darkness, just like his.

You were screaming and writhing under him, grabbing onto anything, something just to make sure that you would stay here and not fly off into another realm or worse, back to earth. But you were still with Jaehyun when you calmed down and his own orgasm ripped through him, the god of the underworld coming undone right above you.

His chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath, his toned body gleaming with sweat, but he still took his time to end your session with a kiss on your mouth that sealed the eternal proposal you had accepted.

“This is the only time I wouldn’t mind giving up power as a queen,” you reminded him as he pulled you to his chest, still there on the carpet. “Don’t you forget that.”

“Very well, my queen.”

You couldn’t see his face, but you felt his smile on you.

____

When you woke up the next morning, you only after a short while realized that you weren’t in your own chambers. Warmth rose to your cheeks when you remembered what happened after you had threatened Jaehyun with a knife. And after that. And after that again. And…

Each joining had lasted longer than the one before, him giving more and you taking more, until your experience wasn’t only earth-shattering, but also soul-rendering. Every session tightened the bond that had formed between the two of you even stronger, and you wondered how long it would take until it couldn’t break anymore. Perhaps, it had never been destructible to begin with.

You blinked against the dim reddish light and got into a seating position before observing the room that was almost identical to yours, probably just a bit bigger, furnished fuller and more luxuriously.

“I figured you wanted to remain true to mortal customs.”

You hadn’t spotted Jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed, hair messy and body bare safe from a pair of satin bottoms. Again, you remembered that on earth, you had never seen a human so beautiful like him. You couldn’t even bring yourself to believe there was.

“What do you mean?” you asked with a raspy voice, and he apparently found it endearing in the way he reacted to your question.

“I heard that on earth, after you propose marriage and the other person accepts, you’re engaged. That’s the time before the actual wedding, right? And that the woman is gifted a diamond ring. At least that’s what Taeyong told me.”

“That’s right,” you confirmed, but you had never seen a real diamond ring before. When people in your village got engaged, they usually bought a cheap ring or used an heirloom, but as you had never expected to get married, you had never put much thought into owning one yourself.

“I didn’t know which kind of stone you liked and neither which kind of cut you preferred, let alone the color,” Jaehyun spelled out, insecurity swinging in his undertone. “I spent the entire rest of the night only deciding on that.” He slid closer to you along the mattress which let you spot the softness in his voice resonating in the look of his eyes. “And then I came to the conclusion that all of that doesn’t matter. Trivial things like these don’t matter to you. But… I still wanted to give the mortal girl I stole from her family a diamond ring. Simply because she deserves it.”

From the corner of your periphery, you spotted something glittering. When he opened his palm fully, a dainty silver ring got revealed to you, a black diamond sitting on the very top. Its shape reminded you of a blossoming flower, held together by silvery thorns that twined along the outline.

“It’s the shape of a rose,” Jaehyun explained, “cut of diamonds from deep inside the mountains where only the residing god has access to.”

A rose for his beloved little rose cut of stone in the same color as their hearts.

It was the most beautiful jewelry you had ever seen, one of those you usually only read about in fairytale books. Jaehyun reached out his hand and took yours into his, sliding the ring along the right finger until it sat perfectly where an engagement ring was supposed to be seen. You had never wanted to pay much attention to materialistic stuff, but as soon as you saw the diamond adorning your hand, you were flooded with so much pride and an overwhelming feeling of finally having found your place in this world that it drove tears into your eyes.

“Did… did I do something wrong?” Jaehyun suddenly sounded so worried and squeezed your fingers together, expressing his concern. “Isn’t it what you wanted? We can change the diamond, the color, or if you don’t want a ring at a-”

You shook your head. “It’s… it’s not that. The ring is perfect. This is perfect.”

“What is it then?”

Pause. “I don’t want to be your queen.”

He let go of your hand, his forehead now in creases. “So, you don’t want to get married to me anymore?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I don’t want to be your queen only.”

The frowns only deepened. “What are you saying?”

“At the beginning, you wanted me as your wife, but I refused. Later on, you said you were looking for a queen. I only accepted to be a queen, not a wife.”

“That is correct.”

“Ask me again.”

“What?”

You chuckled. “Ask me again.”

Jaehyun needed a moment to process, but then his eyes started to sparkle when it dawned on him what you were trying to ask of him. He then took your hand with the engagement ring back into his and held your fingers in front of his chest, the black rose diamond sparkling in the candlelight.

“Will you marry me? Will you become my wife, loved and cherished every single day, and also become my queen, reigning over the underworld with me?”

Loved and cherished? You had never heard someone speaking these words in the same breath and directing them at you. And now you had the king of the underworld offering you more than you had ever thought possible on earth. He sealed his proposal with a kiss that he gently placed on the top of your knuckles, right by the diamond.

You let your fingers slip out of his palm and shifted your arm to sling them both around his neck. With a careful movement, you motioned in his direction, his hands on your waist guiding you until you settled on his lap, eye to eye with him.

“Will you love and cherish me always?” With your thumbs, you tenderly brushed over the back of his neck. “Whatever will happen?”

“I will always love and cherish my wife and queen,” he replied. “So please, marry me. And this is the only time I will ever beg again outside of the bedroom.”

He knew that you had always been meant for more than a silly, fragile doll of earth. And maybe, your family provided acceptance to the same extent, but you wanted pomegranates and death, and you craved the cruel shadows of the night. He saw more in you than a corrupted child of light, he saw a queen worthy of reigning alongside him. And you would gladly let him believe so.

“Yes,” you whispered before you leaned into his lips. “I will.”

The kiss was chaste and innocent, a stark contrast to the previous night, sealing a proposal you had never dreamed of receiving. To be loved and cherished until all eternity… you thought, despite the equal darkness in your heart, you could give all of this to him too. And eternity by his side didn’t sound so excruciating anymore.

“What is it?” Jaehyun halted in the middle of the kiss to look directly at you, his palms steadying either side of your face. “Is something wrong?”

You shook your head, taken aback by a warm feeling that suddenly spread from your lower stomach to the very tips of every limp. “Nothing.” Your fingers massaged the back of his head, his soft hair slipping through the gaps between them. “When are we getting married?”

“So impatient already?” He narrowed his eyes and tilted the corners of his lips up to an evil grin. “If you want to repeat last night, all you have to do is ask, anytime you want, anywhere you want.”

“As promising as it sounds… I’m serious,” you assured him. “When can we get married?”

“I stand by my answer, anytime you want.”

“Then tomorrow?”

“As you wish, my wife.”

____

You married the god of the underworld on a day when the sky was exceptionally red. Or so it seemed to you as your lips had been painted in the same promising color that resembled the dangerous pomegranate seeds as well.

You stood in a tiny, open chapel forged of stone in the middle of the mountains you always watched from Jaehyun’s chamber’s window where you had resided the past nights. Donned in black garments of the finest fabrics instead of pastels, you were facing and holding each other’s hands, the priestess in a white tunic and veil that barely revealed her face reading from a book to you that you had never seen in churches on earth.

You didn’t have witnesses, there were no family members or friends to celebrate this special day with you. Under these circumstances, it would have been the saddest day in a young woman’s life. But not for you. Of course you wished your mother and sister could have been here too to share these feelings with you, but they also wouldn’t have understood.

Why you did this. Why you needed to do this.

“I do,” you heard Jaehyun say first.

This was where you belonged. At the end of the day, you had still found your way into the arms of the darkest god in the entire realms.

“I do,” you repeated after the priestess, barely a whisper, but still strong enough to be carried by the breeze to everyone’s ear.

You met Jaehyun’s confident smile, and you only now grasped the fact that you barely remembered the last time you had been happy to this extent back there on earth. It had been a long, long time.

When your lips closed around your husband’s, marking his mouth with stains of the same redness as the sky and the pomegranates that bound you to this place, you claimed him as yours just like he claimed you as his.

Two equals from different breeds, but from now on of the same value under this red sky.

____

“Congratulations on your wedding. I was a bit sad that I wasn't invited.”

“Nobody was invited, Taeyong,” Jaehyun sighed. “Why did you come here anyway?”

“I have a message for your wife.” The sun god jumped down the stairs until he stood in front of you both, but only eyeing you. “Talk about timing, you have just gotten married and I will have to separate you again.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned, suddenly very wary.

“I have a message for you from the god of the sea. Since he was banned by your now husband from ever entering the underworld again and your husband was banned from entering the sea too, he sent me as a messenger.”

That statement didn’t only cause you to freeze, but Jaehyun as well. “What does he want from her?”

The few things you had heard about the sea god so far hadn’t been really pleasant. What could he possibly want from you?

“He has been reached out to by someone who wants to get you back,” Taeyong declared carefully.

You shook your head. “That’s impossible. No one from my family can come and there is no other person who would care enough for me to do that.”

“Why would that be the case?” Taeyong asked.

“Her mother is limping gravely and her sister is still a child. She doesn’t have other living relatives,” Jaehyun reasoned for you.

You were grateful for his support as you were having struggles digesting Taeyong’s information, having the fact pass by you that you had never actually told Jaehyun anything about your family yourself by then.

“Well, someone is there who you matter very much to. And they want to take you back with them. A distant relative? A friend?”

“It must be my mother or sister. It must.” You were petrified while two pairs of eyes laid on you, both gods lost for words too.

The tears that spilled from your eyes shortly later weren’t tears of happiness or relief. They were tears of guilt, because you felt neither. You couldn’t move but shook with your whole body against your will at the same time. What eventually settled in your stomach was the feeling of disappointment.

Disappointment, because whoever had come they had succeeded in that task - all to no avail.

Taeyong touched your back in a comforting gesture. “I’ll accompany you.”

“No,” Jaehyun cut in and took you into an embrace in which you couldn’t stop trembling too, even though you weren’t cold. “Let her digest that information first, and then we’ll figure out what to do.”

Despite the stream of tears that clouded your vision, you still brought yourself to shake your head. “N-no,” you sobbed. “I-I will go now. I have to go n-now.”

“The horse is already saddled,” Taeyong supported you. “Don’t worry, I will safely escort her and bring her back to you, Jaehyun, you have my word.”

“You want to do it now?” your husband asked you carefully, eyes full of worry.

You nodded determinedly, voice steadier now. “Yes. They came all the way here, I owe them. Whatever they risked, I owe them. I cannot let another minute go reactionless to waste.”

“I understand.”

Not much later, you had hurried to your own room, Ara helping you peel out of your wedding dress and changing into a comfortable, dark gown, more suited for riding and traveling. You didn’t want to lose much time as Taeyong was already waiting outside, so you hastened along with the servant until your husband stepped into the room right before you were about to leave again.

“You’re dismissed, Ara,” Jaehyun said and she nodded, quietly departing and shutting the door behind her.

“What’s he like?” you asked dryly, tears now having entirely subsided, but fear only growing. “The god of the sea, I mean.”

Your husband turned mute for a bit too long before he replied discreetly, yet clearly enough with much pain in his voice, “I wish you wouldn’t have to go.”

“I must.”

“I know. It’s just so unfortunate it happened on our wedding day.”

You felt his breath hitting the parting of your hair when he stood close to you and eventually hugged again which you instinctively reciprocated. You didn’t want to leave him either - but, again, you must. If only he could come with you, you would feel safer and more protected. Even though Taeyong offered probably the same amount of comfort, it would have been something entirely else to have your own husband by your side.

“Remember, you’re the queen of the underworld now,” Jaehyun whispered into your ear. “He doesn’t stand a chance against you. By title alone, you’re mightier than him.”

“I’m still a human and mortal after all,” you expressed your worry and buried your face in his chest, fingers clutching hard into the fabric of his shirt. “He could keep me captivated, blackmail you or just end me with one single grip of his hand. I don’t stand a chance against him.”

“If he dares to lay a finger on you,” Jaehyun continued with an underlying groan that indicated he was suppressing long planted anger, “I will have the permission to end him. I promise to you, if you’re not back by the day after tomorrow, I will tear every single realm apart just to find you and take you back with me.”

In the security of his embrace, you smiled, more at ease now. “If he won’t let me go, I will fight my way back to you. Through every single realm.”

“That is exactly what my queen and wife would say.”

The proudness in his voice made you proud too, and suddenly you weren’t so scared anymore. The promises you had given to each other in the secrecy of your room was sealed with one last kiss that was dripping with longing over the lost wedding night before you got on Taeyong’s horse and rode off with him into the fallen darkness.

____

“So, you’re the wife of the king of the underworld?”

The man in front of you motioned his pupils up and down, inspecting you from head to toe. You couldn’t pinpoint the look in his eyes, but it was everything except kindness that got mirrored in them. It was mostly mockery that bordered disgust even.

“I’m not only his wife, I’m his queen and the queen of the underworld, so you will address me as such.”

He raised his dark brow that was of the same color as his hair - petrol blue. In comparison to your husband, the king, he was a bit shorter and of a more slender figure, his aura far more sinister, nothing that would draw you to him like what had drawn you to your husband at the very beginning.

“Very well, human queen.” He grinned, his grin sharp and his smile crooked. “Does your oblivious husband know you killed your own father and only accepted his marriage proposal to get spared from the torture fields?”

Your blood froze.

“I see, that’s enough of an answer. When I heard your father went away a decade ago, but I couldn’t track him down, I found it very suspicious, so I did a background check on you. What came to light truly fascinated me.” He put his index finger on his chin. “You and the god of the underworld are so similar. That you accepted his marriage proposal solely for that purpose, I only guessed. But I know you stupid, greedy humans. You’re all the same. In comparison to you, your sister is very talkative though as she had come all the way down here by herself.”

Your jaw dropped. “My… sister?” You were conflicted about what to do first as you did everything at once, gasping, breathing and talking simultaneously. “My sister is here? Alone? My sister can't be here, she’s practically still a child!”

“She’s very mature for her age,” the sea god explained, partially smugly, partially matter-of-factly. “She reached out to me herself through a summoner that she had tracked down in a nearby village and even offered her life, wanted me to trade hers for yours. Unfortunately, that was when I found out you ate our food already. What a pity.” He let out a long sigh and touched his forehead as though annoyed in a phony manner. “And now that you’re even queen of the underworld, I’m not allowed to go through with my plans.” When he fixed his gaze back on you, his expression had some kind of madness to it that caused goose bumps to appear all over your body, and not the pleasant ones. “But that doesn’t mean that I cannot still have a bit of fun. Let’s see how much you both love each other.”

The undersea palace was equally impressive as the dark palace, the entire building forged of corals of different colors, lightning coming from the sun that was still able to make its way through the entire ocean’s depth until the last rays reached down here. It seemed like a lively and vibrant place with the residents also breathing air as water was kept outside, many mortals roaming around in colorful attires that reminded you of another part of the earth. The palace was like an own world in the middle of the undersea, but it was exactly this colorful and lively world that you would make the worst memory with.

The sea god suddenly spread out his arms like wings. Behind him, where a mass of deep blue curtain had adorned the back wall of the throne hall until now, a glass window revealed itself when the thick fabric parted, presenting the foggish undersea through a hole as big as a human’s house. The view was striking and intimidating at the same time, and you would have appreciated the sight for a bit longer if it weren’t for your sister who you found swimming like a fish in an aquarium behind the glass, a tiny dot on a huge painting.

Her long hair was floating around her head like a halo, her skirts spread like a summer breeze had lifted them up, and it would all have been a heavenly painting with the fishes swimming across the picture if it weren’t for the look of horror in her eyes that she directed at you from the moment the curtains parted.

“I heard,” the sea god pulled you out of your petrifying realizations, “humans can only live approximately three minutes without air. How long will your sister make it? I think she’s already been in there for more than a minute.”

You panicked, and for a few heartbeats, you had to deal with a blackout about how to proceed, how to save your sister. Luckily, rationality kicked back in and you acted on implementing your first idea. The sea god watched you running around while continuously wearing his mocking smirk, heading into different directions in search of something that could break the glass.

You heard him laugh, his petrol blue strands shaking in the same rhythm as his dancing shoulders when you took a chair into your hands and dragged it to the massive glass window behind the dais. You were of a natural build, but that didn’t mean you were weak for a woman. Years of working on the fields finally paid off when you heaved the chair up and slammed it against the glass, over and over again.

The more often the chair came in contact with the surface, the weaker your arms and the bigger your panic grew as time passed uncontrollably and you knew that soon, it would be too late.

“It’s not human glass. A chair cannot break it. It was amusing watching you though, but now it gets boring,” the sea god snickered and yawned. “Humans… such imbeciles.”

You hadn’t noticed how tears started streaming down your face, hot and wet, until you desperately laid your palms against the glass, trying to make out your sister’s body. But at this point, she had already floated so far away, you could barely spot her anymore, perhaps mainly also because of your tear-smeared vision.

You sank onto your knees, hands sliding down the glass as you felt hope shrinking the further you lowered your position, until you were a crying mess on the ground. Your sister would now die and it was entirely your fault - because you were so selfish and only thought about saving yourself. Just like back then with your father.

But suddenly, your hiccups stopped in unison with your tears when you felt something prick against your right thigh, and you gasped when a fact dawned on you: There was still hope. Before you had ridden off, Jaehyun had strapped an item around your leg that you had shortly forgotten about.

A knife.

“Take this with you,” your husband had said. “It’s made from the strongest material to ever exist, in this and the human world. It cannot kill an immortal, but it can break through every surface imaginable.”

Like he had seen coming, because he had been in a feud with the sea god for a long time already. Like he had wanted to prepare you for every possible situation that could occur.

The moment the glass broke with only a single strike of you and water mercilessly swamped into the hall, you just thought about how much you loved your husband and that it was only thanks to him that you were now able to hold your sister in your arms again - breathing and alive.

And that you hadn’t killed another family member and would never need to again.

____

Your little sister was shivering in your arms, but you tried your best to keep her warm with your coat while you were wearing Taeyong’s as you were equally cold after the throne hall in the undersea palace had been entirely swamped.

“I’m tired,” your sister yawned.

It had been an almost impossible battle to get her out of there with the sea god going on a rampage after you broke the glass, and without Taeyong’s help, it wouldn’t have been successful at all, but here you were now, both exhausted and injured, but alive. That was all that mattered.

“Not long anymore,” you assured her.

Not long anymore and you would be back at the dark palace. It had only been two days, but the further you approached the location, the more your anticipation grew to finally see your husband again. You hadn’t been aware of how much you actually missed and longed for him until the moment you felt him by your side when you saved your sister - with his help.

“Where are we going, sis?”

Taeyong was controlling the horse from the back while you and your sister were seated in front of him. You slung your arms tighter around her before you answered,

“My home.”

“But your home is with me,” she protested weakly before dozing off again, and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her the truth just yet.

“She can also live here, you know,” Taeyong told you quietly from behind. “If Jaehyun breaks the bargain she made with the sea god, she will be able to stay.”

“Her heart is not as dark as mine, her past not as tarnished, her future not as corrupted. She doesn’t belong here,” you defended her. “I’m darkness and she’s light. She belongs to where flowers grow, where spring returns and where she can see the sun rise every day.”

“You’re also everything that she is, do you know that?”

“You heard the sea god talking about my background. I don’t have an excuse for the things that I did to our father. If I don’t belong to the torture fields, who does?”

“Your father,” was Taeyong’s matter-of-fact reply.

You added, “And I would have to follow him.”

“That is not true,” he disagreed. “I’m not Jaehyun, but I’m positive that this is not true. He wouldn’t have sent you to the torture fields if you had died one day on earth as a human. I know your entire story now, and he wouldn’t have done that.”

“Even if that were possible…” you smiled sadly into the slowly falling night, “how would my husband react if he knew that I had initially agreed to this marriage just to avert my possible destiny?”

“You only wanted to do what you had to do in order to survive. That’s normal. That’s not even human only, that’s instinct we all carry within us.”

“I don’t want him to send me away,” you admitted, voice cracking and making way for tears that threatened to spill behind your eyes. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here and only because of him, not because of my position or my title.”

With your front teeth sinking into your bottom lip and nearly making it bleed, you held yourself back from crying the nth time today.

“Sounds like you married him for other reasons as well,” Taeyong concluded with a lighter tone in his voice. “In the end, isn’t that all that matters now?”

“I don’t want him to regret choosing me,” you added hesitantly, stroking your sister’s damp hair as the fist spires of the dark palace came into sight, even in the settling darkness.

“Jaehyun has been the god of the underworld for an eternity already. As I said, never has he ever made a wrong decision. He has risked everything to get you. All you have to be is as courageous and confident as him, and believe in your love.”

Love…?

Was it even possible to love someone you didn’t entirely know?

The last part of the way was covered in silence, and you expected your husband to be already asleep by now as night had long fallen. But you were able to make out the shape of his body even from miles afar. He stood in front of the gate as though he had known exactly when you would return - or had been standing there the past two days and nights.

You didn’t even have to ride all the way to the gates. Jaehyun came running in your direction, his crown falling off his head while sprinting, but he didn’t seem to care about that.

“My wife,” he greeted you when you slid from the horse and into his arms, welcomed back into the darkness to where you belonged, but that suddenly didn’t feel so cold and threatening anymore. It felt warm. Just like home.

Not “little rose”, not “my queen”.

But “my wife” you were now.

You couldn’t lie to him any longer.

____

You gazed at your husband who was sleeping soundly next to you. Even though night had not given way to daytime yet, you couldn’t sleep anymore, too many thoughts keeping you restless and awake.

Upon your return, you and your sister had been examined by a physician, but to your both luck, you had escaped with only minor injuries such as scratches from the broken glass. Yet, you had demanded for her to be observed the entire night. Initially, you had wanted to stay by her side yourself, but the physician had required absolute quietness and bedrest for her as she would sleep for many more hours, so you had decided to stay by Jaehyun’s side in the meantime.

For what seemed like hours, you had talked. And reliving the entire story in your tellings had you crying in your husband’s arms once again, partly because of the horror, partly because of the relief that you had been able to save your sister.

“She cannot stay here for long,” Jaehyun had made clear after comforting you until all your tears had subsided. “Part of her bargain was giving up one year of her life for every day she stays in the godly realms, so she has to recover fast and hurry home.”

How were you supposed to tell him that this wasn’t the only thing you were worried about? Now that your sister was here to take you back, but with you having already eaten the pomegranate seeds, you didn’t have a choice anymore. Deep inside, you deemed yourself lucky that you didn’t even have to make one in the first place afterwards.

Because that would mean that you would have had to hurt someone consciously. And it wouldn’t have been your husband.

Which was why you had decided to come clean with him now.

You were sitting next to him, stretching out your hand and gently tracing the outline of his jaw. He was so ethereally beautiful, it nearly made your breath catch again. But that wasn’t the reason why you wanted to stay by his side forever.

It was because, after living a quarter of a human lifetime, you had finally found the place where you belonged. You had found your counterpart, your partner for eternity, your equal, your twin flame. The one who accepted every edge of your soul, no matter how frayed it was. At least, out of all mortals and immortals, he was willing to.

But would he still be if he had explored every last part of the darkness inside of you?

“Why did you stop?”

You hadn’t noticed how you had halted your motions, your fingers coming to a stop right under Jaehyun’s bottom lip.

“Good morning,” you whispered with a smile, and he kissed the tip of your index finger.

“It’s long not morning yet.” He looked at you, but he wasn’t mirroring your expression. “What are you so sad for?”

So, he had seen right through you already. You gulped. “I had a bad dream,” you said.

“Tell me about it.”

“I dreamed that you left me.”

Jaehyun let out a light-hearted chuckle that was still hoarse from sleep. “Why would I ever do that?”

“Because I might not be the person you think I am. The more you get to know me…”

But he didn’t let you finish, which you gladly accepted, because you were unsure about how to end the sentence anyway. “In my entire lifetime, I have never made one decision that I regretted, not even after an eternity. And you’re one of them.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

What your husband said next made you possibly love him even more. He didn’t tell you the usual phrases that any man would tell their wives in order to silence them for they got too annoyed. Instead, he said,

“You’re the queen of the underworld now. You have to believe in yourself first.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that in your own words how much you have come to love him though. Instead, you bent down to him and covered his mouth with yours in a passionate kiss.

“You know, we were never able to celebrate our wedding night.”

“You mean what happened in the hallway earlier didn’t count?” he wondered with feigned innocence as though he hadn’t been the one ripping your clothes apart the moment you were finally alone and hastily took you on the stairs right there and then.

You tugged on the hem of your nightgown, sliding the thin fabric over your head and simultaneously motioning towards Jaehyun until you were sitting naked on his lap. “That was your present for me. Here’s my present for you.”

The way your husband moaned into your ear when you were hovering over him shortly later, your hips coming down on his in a steady rhythm and your nipples grazing over his muscular chest, made you wonder if this was the last time that you would be able to hear him utter sounds like this.

You were bouncing up and down the mattress, knees already strained as you leaned backwards and braced yourself against his shins with your hands, arching your spine in such a way to give him full access to your whole body.

And he did worship it, every single inch, every part you considered a human flaw. His hands trailed upwards, stopping by your breasts and kneading them gently as he met your hip motions with thrusts that hit all your sensitive spots inside through the curved angle.

Your face was turned against the ceiling as you decided to close your eyes, your hair cascading past your shoulder and winding with each rock of your groins. Only a little longer, you swore to yourself. For only a little longer, you wanted to stop time and lived in this moment as long as possible.

But your body was human even though you couldn’t age in the godly realms, it painfully reminded you of that when Jaehyun dropped his palm and his fingers landed on your clit. You didn’t have the same stamina, nor the same endurance to prolong and go on for hours, so when you came undone right above your husband with a scream, body and soul, you felt betrayed by your own remaining humanity.

You fully rode out your orgasm, but as Jaehyun made a move to take the lead now and flip you around, you pinned him in that position by locking his arms in place with your hands. Even though he was able to change positions easily, he didn’t, and having you dominating turned him on so much, it didn’t take you much more until he cum in long spurts all inside of you himself.

“I never believed you were a virgin in the first place,” Jaehyun breathed under you. “But that you were capable of doing these kinds of things, I didn’t believe either. I’m impressed.”

“There is so much more to me you won’t believe I’m capable of,” you said, gaze stoically directed at the wall behind him, not moving from his lap to cuddle with him like usual, and he noticed.

“Didn’t we talk about this?” Jaehyun brushed it off, assuming this was what withheld you from coming closer to him. “Peccadillos.”

You inhaled deeply, then lowered your gaze, hiding behind strands of your loose hair, because that was how cowardly you actually were. “Ten years ago, I killed my father in a cold blooded murder,” you finally confessed. “Now, do you still want me as your wife?”

____

Jaehyun found you much later in one of the endless corridors as you had run away right after your confession. You had roamed through the palace in the meantime, at a loss about where to continue from here, and because you were afraid of his reaction. After all, you were always good at running away from things, no matter whether they were crimes or feelings.

As redness crested the horizon, you were leaning out of the window, guilty, but simultaneously full of relief to still see another dayrise.

“You can think of a punishment fit for my crime,” you offered to Jaehyun without turning around. “I won’t mind.”

Whatever it might be, it couldn’t be as horrific as suffering on the torture fields for eternity. At least, he couldn’t punish you with that. That was all you had wanted, wasn’t it?

“I cannot judge over my equal,” your husband replied monotonously. “Only the god who reigns over all godly realms can.”

“Oh, so it’s like this.” You had thought you were oh so smart to trick yourself into staying in the underworld as a mortal only to find out that there was possibly a much more gruesome punishment than what Jaehyun would have had in store for you. “I was wrong in the end.”

All this time, you had had this secret locked away in a chest that you had thrown into the deepest abyss of your heart, pretending it was whole when it was frayed on every edge. Once you unlocked the chest that you had sealed shut for nearly a decade, the darkness that was kept within would consume all of you. Perhaps, right now was the perfect time to face it.

“When I was much younger,” you began deliberately, staring out of the window while sensing your husband approaching you with deliberate steps, “and my little sister barely a toddler, my father came home one night, totally drunk. At that point, he had been drinking almost every day for a few years already. What he earned from his cabinetwork and from what we sold in crops, vegetables and fruits, he spent it satisfying his addiction. My mother was always very careful to put us to sleep before he came home, but I was already old enough to witness with my own eyes and ears what was going on each night. Every morning, my mother came out of the bedroom with another bruise showing on her body when my father had long gone out again. That certain night though, he was thrashing around furniture, even waking my baby sister up who I then carried around. When I opened the door, he shoved the table against my mother, hitting her legs with full force and rendering her unconscious. Upon seeing us, he snatched my little sister out of my arms.”

“Please.” Jaehyun’s attire made a rustling sound and then stilled, but he didn’t reach out to touch you. Outwardly, you reacted as though you didn’t care. You didn’t want to care. Inwardly, you longed for his fingers traveling over your thighs just one more time. But he was willing to give you the space you needed. “You don-.”

“That night, I killed him,” you cut him off, because you knew that if you didn’t do it now, you might never come so far again. “When he didn’t want to let go of my sister and give her back to me, preparing himself to do to her what he did to our mother, I took a knife and stabbed him many, many times. My sister’s crying was ringing in my ears long after he was dead, but I was still stabbing. I managed to calm my baby sister down and put her back to sleep. I tended my mother’s wounds and also brought her to bed before I took my father’s corpse and buried it deep in the woods. I spent half of the night digging his grave, the other half cleaning the wood off his blood. The next day, I told everyone I chased him off and he would never come back to hurt them again. The relief in their eyes made up for everything. They were so happy they were finally able to live in peace. But me? I have never found peace. I sacrificed my own happiness for my family. And I don’t regret it. I was only a teenager when I made that decision.”

With every syllable, you felt the darkness eating up a bigger part of your heart, and it wouldn’t be long until it had digested the entire organ. That was what you had always been afraid of, but it was also very relieving on the other hand. There was no pain anymore, just deep satisfaction, indicating a hint of regret for not having done it sooner.

Jaehyun didn’t say anything afterwards, but you were prepared for everything that would happen now. At least, you could move on, at peace with yourself after a decade.

“My soul might be dark, but I was not suffering. I was only afraid of what the darkness would do to me if I didn’t keep it locked, under control. That I would hurt more people, especially my family. But I would do it over and over again if this is the only way to keep my family safe from monsters. Even if this monster is me. But you have to understand…” You finally shifted around to your husband, revealing a face wet from tears. “When I ate the seeds, I had already decided to be your queen. But not for the same purpose for which I have decided to be your wife. When I decided to be your queen, it was because of the fear of ending on the torture fields myself if I ever got the chance to return to the mortal world. I thought I didn’t deserve to continue living on earth alongside pure people like my mother and sister, because I’m so filthy and corrupted. It was for my own protection, I was so scared after visiting the fields, that’s why I ate the seeds.”

You fell down to your knees and the thin fabric of your nightgown couldn’t cushion the pain that you felt when you smashed against the marble. But you didn’t care. The only thing important to you now was to not lose your husband. You wanted to fight for him so that if he were to let you go, you could say you had been finally courageous and confident enough to have fought for your love.

Yes, love.

“But when I decided to be your wife too, it was because I whole-heartedly wanted to stay by your side, because I-” The following confession twisted your guts, because you had never believed you would be able to say this to someone or even feel a sliver of it one day. But it was true, every single syllable. “Because I love you.”

For a long moment, nothing happened, only your whimpers and sobs filling in the silence that stretched in the hallway, and the more you waited for a reaction, the more agonized you turned to the point of coming to accept the truth that you might have lost your husband forever. You cried even more.

“I finally understand.” You then felt Jaehyun’s fingertips on your skin, wandering along your shoulder and eventually resting there. “All those years, you dedicated yourself to a simple, peaceful lifestyle to conceal the bloody tumult that you’ve been through. In contrast to your flowery, colorful appearance, your soul was dark and suffering.”

The tip of his index finger then traveled to your chin and lifted it up, and the man whose eyes you locked with were neither your husband here in the palace nor the god of the underworld in the hall of judgment. Somehow they were both.

“If possible, I might love you even more now,” he said before he kissed your tear-stained lips.

____

You shouldn’t sit in the hall of judgment the same day when your sister still wasn’t awake, but there was something you had to be shown according to Jaehyun, which was why he had ridden with you all across the deadlands again.

Today, there was no soul awaiting their judgment, so you wondered why you had been brought here in the first place. Painfully, the truth dawned on you though as Jaehyun urged you to stand in front of the dais and he took his own seat on his throne, the one in which you were supposed to sit empty this time.

You were the one to be judged.

“There was something I have only informed you shortly about the first time you were here,” your husband then opened up as he settled in his throne. “The fact that none of the souls entering the hall has to tell me their backstories. It would consume too much time and they would be able to conceal parts for they cannot straight up lie. I know their entire lives, histories and stories upon entering, they only tell me their point of view, their opinion. And…” He took a meaningful, long pause. “With every soul, I mean every human, dead or alive.”

You stared at him for a moment, your brain processing what then washed over you in shocking realization all at once. With your hand, you covered your mouth, swallowing a gasp. “You always knew?!”

Only then, you were able to relive the scene from three days ago when Taeyong broke down the news to you that someone from your family had come to get you. Jaehyun had known about the circumstances which made you believe that none of them were able to come down here despite you never having told him anything about your mother’s condition and your sister’s age yourself. But back then, you had been so stressed, it had totally passed by you. He had indeed always known.

“It’s true, a decade ago on earth you made a drastic decision to self-judge and rob your father of his life, but you didn’t bring this fate over him. I did when I decided to throw him onto the torture fields. I did the exact same thing as you. So why would I punish you for something that hadn’t only protected you, but also the people you love the most?”

For that, you didn’t have an answer. That your actions could be justifiable, you had always talked yourself into. But you had never been able to shake off the shadow that sometimes crossed your mother’s face when someone mentioned your father or your sister getting bullied for not having one. They believed he was still alive, but didn’t fear he would ever return. If they knew the entire truth, it wouldn’t change anything about their mindset other than seeing you as an entirely different person.

Yes, your lives had gotten considerably better without your father in regards to the living circumstances as he had barely financially and emotionally supported your family anyway. But by the looks of the village people, it had only brought you shame and misfortune to live like this as no one had wanted to marry your handicapped, single mother again - or even you. Subconsciously, you perpetually felt guilty for that you had to live the way you used to live. This all, you also told Jaehyun, and he only shook his head.

“You cannot blame them for feeling this way like they cannot blame you for saving their lives. What if your father was still alive? This is a scenario nobody can answer to rightfully. You couldn’t have sat around, waiting until he would change. Perhaps, you would have lost more than one person. Even when the tiniest part inside of them blames you for not having him around anymore, even if they knew the entire truth, you don’t have to blame yourself too and make amends by playing the commendable child when there is so much more to you.”

“Much… more?”

“You were leading the life of a good daughter, always obedient, always loving. You grew flowers in hope they could conceal the darkness in your heart. But the truth is…” Jaehyun arose from his throne, carefully stepping down the stairs while keeping his hands hidden behind his back, “with the darkness that had settled inside you that day, you would have never been able to live a fulfilling life on earth, that was why you had decided to stay with me in the first place, not because you were scared. You were never afraid of me or anything else down here. You always only wanted to believe that because your mortal side couldn’t justify your true feelings. The moment I saw the true you, I realized I couldn’t let you go. Everything I said, none of that has ever been a lie, I always knew who you were.”

Was that true? Had he seen right through you from the very beginning? The day you had entered the hall from the very first time was the day he had proposed the throne to you without a second thought.

“You fought hard against this, against us, because you thought you owed your life to your mother and sister as you might have ruined theirs to the point of nearly forgetting that you can bloom in your very own way when you don’t dedicate your life to someone else. Of course you love them, but be brave and start loving yourself equally as much. Just like I do.”

For a split second, you were asking yourself whether you had made the wrong decision to eat the pomegranate seeds out of your own free will. But that was what it all boiled down to: Everything you had done happened out of your own free will that you had always been possessing as a human, even here, even now still.

“Listen,” Jaehyun spoke gently when he finally stood in front of you, on the same level, as equals again. “To be my queen is not a duty just any human is capable of. It’s difficult, straining for body and soul, and requires a lot of self-control to not lose your mind. I wouldn’t have proposed this position to you if I hadn’t been sure you harbored all that. Your story has only assured me of the fact that in you, I wouldn’t only find a wife, but someone who thinks and acts the same as me. So today, I pronounce your sentence.”

Even though his words had been sweet and everything you had been longing to hear, the last statement made you shudder. Would he still send you away?

“My sentence for you is to be my queen, to stay by my side and reign alongside me always. Will you accept it?”

You felt something getting placed on the very top of your head. When you raised your arm and came in contact with the object, you touched something heavy and spiky - your very own crown, made of darkness and flowers that would never wither. You had exchanged flowers and pastels for flames and darkness.

“As I said,” your husband smiled proudly this time, “never in my entire lifespan have I ever made a wrong decision. You chose me. You love me. This is real, not the seven silly seeds you ate sealed the deal, but your love for me.”

The king of the underworld had accepted you. He was both the kindest and cruelest thing that had ever happened to you, even if others wouldn’t perceive your tale like this. He had seen the darkness that resided inside you demanded its own throne, and he had shown you how a love like yours could turn even the coldest realm into a warm home.

You had never been afraid. You had never been held captive. You had voluntarily stayed. Why would you have cared about being a human bride when you could have been an eternal queen all along?

Oh, how you wished for everyone to know that the god of darkness who you could also call your husband, had the silkiest hair that felt especially soft when he was on his knees, coaxing spring from inside of you with your thighs wrapped around his neck.

____

“But I don’t want to leave without you,” your sister sobbed and wrapped her arms around you just a bit tighter. “Why can’t you come with me?”

By now, you weren’t able to hold your tears back anymore either, and you just cried in each other’s arms. The horse was already settled and stood by the main gate not far from you. Taeyong had volunteered to bring her back and was waiting there.

“As I told you,” you explained patiently for the nth time to your little sister, “I cannot leave.”

“Did you truly eat the seeds of your own free will?” she asked warily.

You nodded. “I did.”

You weren’t able to bring yourself to tell her the entire truth. One day, if you would ever get the possibility, when she was only a bit older and your paths crossed again, you promised to yourself that you would.

“But how could you! He took you from the earth to a world where not a single living thing can grow and live!”

“Sister, have you seen that every single flower on earth withers away?” You pried her from you and flashed an encouraging smile, all through the veil of blurring goodbye tears. “Where is the difference? Our garden might only be small, but whatever grows there blossoms to its full potential, just like I can.”

“I don’t understand, sis.”

“You don’t have to understand. You only have to believe me.”

“What will I tell mother?” she wanted to know. “She misses you.”

“Tell her I miss her too. And that she’s going to be fine. You’re both going to be fine, even without me.”

“Sis, when will I see you again?”

Another wave of sadness rolled over you, but you swallowed it down this time and brushed over your sister’s hair in a reassuring gesture. “I don’t know.”

“How will I live life without you?”

“Stay kind, confident and courageous, always believe in yourself. After all, you made it all the way down here by yourself only. I wouldn’t have been able to, but you did all that. Do you know how proud you can be of yourself, sis? You’re going to grow up to be such a beautiful, smart and brave woman. I’m certain about that, and I’m already so proud of you, don’t you ever forget that.”

“Actually,” a manly voice interrupted you, and you both simultaneously turned to the side to watch your husband speak, “you don’t have to worry about that, dear. Your sister will come with you.”

“What?” you both called out, also simultaneously, but the fine difference lied in either of your tones.

While your sister’s was full of joy, you barely brought out a syllable that wasn’t dripping with worry and fear. Why would Jaehyun suggest something like that? Had he already forgotten everything he had said to you since your wedding day?

But the smile that spread across your husband’s lips was full of happiness like your sister’s with no hint of grudge as he approached you and placed his palms on each side of your face, looking at you with much love as opposed to his statement. You didn’t understand.

“Why are you sending me away?” you wanted to scream, but only brought out a whisper, fingers clutching onto the hem of his shirt. “Please don’t send me away!”

“I’m not sending you away.” His thumbs caressed your cheeks, and you only noticed then that something had changed in his eyes. It wasn’t a look or a feeling that had been there before, and not weighing on the negative side either. In fact, nothing had been replaced or exchanged, only something slightly different that you couldn’t pinpoint. Perhaps, it was all in your mind after all. “I’m sending you to live with your mother and sister each year for six months, spring throughout summer.”

Your brain was still processing when your sister was already expressing her joy through little bumps and screams that gradually turned into a singsong about how you were returning home.

“Don’t worry,” Jaehyun calmed you down. “You are the bones of my spine, the ground beneath my feet, the air I’m breathing in. How could I possibly ever live without you again?”

“But-!”

He silenced you by putting his index finger on your lip. “Every year, when the first flowers bloom, you will be able to return to earth to live with your family. When you see the first leaves falling, that is when I will take you back to the underworld. You will bring spring, bursting with light, and leave with winter, dreary and cold. Does this duality fascinate you too?”

You had so many questions, first and foremost what he traded your freedom for, but you also didn’t have time to ask any of them anymore as every minute that you lingered in the underworld robbed a sliver of your sister’s lifespan.

You expressed your gratitude through hasty kisses with his arms slung around your back regardless of the presence of the other two as these would need to get you through the next months.

“I don’t want you to feel lonely again when I’m gone,” you said to him.

“Don’t worry about that,” he reassured you. “I was patiently waiting half an eternity for you. I can wait another few months every year as long as you always come back to me.”

From now on, you could see yourself as a child of spring, wearing pastel colors and flowers in your hair on earth, and when returning home that was literally the underworld, donned all in black, you would pass sentence on lost souls in the hall of judgment as the queen of hell.

Yes, such duality fascinated you very much.

“Will you wait for me?” you asked when you were seated on the horse’s back with your sister in front and Taeyong behind you.

“Even if it takes you an eternity to come back to me.”

You leaned down, your husband embracing your cheeks on either side and giving you a long kiss that was supposed to last a few months in the moment a breeze came by and lifted the strands of your hair up in a swirl.

He trembled under the last gaze you threw at him before you rode off.

It wasn’t a punishment, it was a reward - for you to see your mother and sister again, and live where flowers grew and never see them wither again.

After all, you’d come back this time, every time.

Out of your own free will.

_____

Jaehyun had known he should have regretted that certain forenoon of hasty decisions on earth. He had sensed you before he even saw you, soft, warm, light - everything he needed his future queen to be, so he didn’t look further as he had gotten spared only one day.

There, in your mother’s garden, sun on your nose and wind in your hair, enveloped in the intense scent of yet to bloom flowers, it made even the hardest of hearts unharden, and suddenly the god of the underworld was only a man with an uncontrollable longing for your innocent sweetness.

“She’s coming back today,” Taeyong said, pulling Jaehyun out of his thoughts. “I’ll pick her up from the river and bring her here.”

“Very well,” Jaehyun answered, trying to downplay his excitement to welcome back his wife after so many months.

But his friend wouldn’t stop budging. “So, when are you going to tell her? What you traded her freedom for?”

“Possibly never, this is not something she will easily find out anyway. It’s not like I traded being a king, a god. We’ll be fine.”

“As long as no one wants to see you dead,” Taeyong stated with rolling eyes.

“Then let’s hope we’ll live alongside in peace,” the king answered dryly and his friend only gave him a long, last sigh in response before riding off to his duty.

Jaehyun had searched for a fitting wife for so long, sick of isolation and darkness, but no one living in the godly realms matched with what he had been looking for. Every resident was involved in an endless game of rivalry, too cunning, too vile to make his already hard life easier. He needed someone simple, timid and narrow-minded who would gladly accept what a god could offer to them without a single complaint. A human.

But the person he had chosen wasn’t all that. In a garden full of colorful plants, he had plucked the most dangerous flower of all. She was as beautiful as a rose, lulling him with her pure appearance and sugary scent, but her thorns stung and could cause him great harm.

Even on that day, he hadn’t made a wrong decision, though it had looked like it in the very beginning as it all boiled down to either his instincts, luck or coincidence. But somehow, he had ended up combining all three and chose her.

His human guest only needed time, he had thought when she fought him like a panther in a cage upon their first meeting, so he had given her a few days to adjust and then intended to break down the advantages for her, hoping she would finally settle here in peace and then do for what he had brought her here: offering him company in all senses.

When she had walked into the dining room that one evening though, in a pastel silk dress he had chosen for his wife himself, looking and smelling like a freshly bloomed flower, but with eyes so fierce, Jaehyun swore he saw fire burning inside them, flames so intense like the ones on the torture fields.

Just like now.

She hadn’t changed one bit since the day they had said goodbye to each other. Dressed all in black now with fiery eyes, she had returned to him, her attire as splendid as the crown in her hair, fitting for the queen of the underworld who was about to start her duties.

They were grinning at each other from afar already, and she was coming to a halt right in front of the dais.

“You’re back,” Jaehyun stated stoically, but his voice shook with emotion when he arose. “I missed you.”

“I am,” you whispered. “And I missed you too.”

When he had been an immortal god, he had felt invincible. But Jaehyun hadn’t felt like this in months, and for a long while, he had been worried about that, about never being able to feel so powerful again.

But as he was holding his wife and his queen in his arms again after such a long period of separation, inhaling her scent, feeling her soft skin, hearing her warm voice whispering his name, he suddenly regained all of what he had thought lost when he had traded his immortality for her freedom, for her true happiness.

He didn’t need his immortality to feel immortal.

He only needed her.

#jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct #nct 127 #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x you #nct smut #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct x you #nct 127 x you #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines

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diapy-demon2 · 12 days

Text

Exercise

It had been so long since I had had any… adult attention.

I know we agreed to take our kinks to the next level, but still — I haven’t cum in months. Every time mommy walked by, my swelling member strained against my plastic pink cage. It was starting to become too much

I had tried my best to be the good baby mommy wanted, but I needed to cum! And I have been a good baby! I’ve been using my diapers without complaints, I haven’t said any bad words, and —excruciatingly— I haven’t cum or had an accident once!

Maybe that’s why mommy had so much compassion when I had my little outburst, as she had called it.

“Mommy!” I whined as I eyed her shapely figure, “Please!! I needa cum!!”

“Hmmm,” Mommy contemplated my request, “Well you have been quite a good boy recently…”

I hung on every word, desperation written all over my face.

“And I suppose it would be good for you to get some excercise in…”

“P-pwease Mommy,” I whimpered, trying to secure her decision.

“Tell you what sweetie,” she smiled down at me, “Mommy ordered you a special toy that’ll help. You just gotta wait a couple days for it to come in, and then you’ll feel all better! Can you be patient for Mommy?”

“MmmHmmm,” I moaned.

A few days past, and my sorry state of desperation had only gotten worse. But I knew if I acted out or misbehaved in any way, mommy would take my relief away to punish me for my naughtiness. For better or worse, I was committed to being her obedient baby.

Then, it arrived.

“Sweetheart, your new toy arrived! Why don’t you come out back and take a look!”

I quickly waddled outside to see whatever relief was in store for me. It… wasn’t what I was expecting. My cheeks burned scarlet as I saw my new toy.

Sitting in the backyard was a yoga ball adorned with a sattle that had a dildo, handcuffs, and ankle cuffs attached to it.

“M-mommy?” My voice quivered.

“Doesn’t it look like so much fun, princess! And we were talking about fitting some more excercise into your routine!”

“Uhmm…”

“Oh don’t be shy darling,” Mommy giggled, “How about we strap you in, and you can have fun bouncing around the back yard until you make stickies in your little diaper.”

“S-stickies?” I could barely believe my ears.

“That’s right, princess!”

“D-do I get to take my cage off?”

“Ahwww baby no,” mommy giggled, “you’re gonna cum like a princess or not at all. No matter how long it takes.”

“But—“

“Ah ah,” Mommy silenced me, “the only butt I want to hear about is the one that’s gonna be bouncing up and down on that big dildo, which is yours sweet pea.”

Mommy grabbed me by the wrists, and I knew better than to fuss. Before I knew it, my ankles and my wrists were tightly secured in mommy’s contraption. I immediately felt the pressure of the big pink dildlo through my diaper. This was going to be a long playtime…

“Ok sweet pea. While you play, Mommy’s going to go start on Din-din. I’ll be watching from inside.”

——————————————

Hey everyone, tumblr nuked my account again, so I’m rewriting these captions to reclaim them in the hopes that my followers find me again.

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fandomxpreferences · 1 year

Text

The Invisible Woman Chapter Eleven: Unity of Hell

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Seresin x female!reader

TW:angst, memory loss, I think thats it?

Summary: Jake comes to visit you in the hospital and you try to make sense of the situation you're in.

Word count:2.5k

A/N: this chapter feels a little rushed but I can’t bring myself to rewrite it and drag it out. Besides I know y’all are ready for a break from the angst ❤️

As soon as the words leave your mouth you're whisked away and Jake watches in slow motion. His feet are glued in place and he feels his entire nervous system go into shock.

He chokes on a sob as his hands come up to rest in his hair, golden locs sticking up all over the place. You don't remember him.

He doesn't know what happened after that, his brain seems to shut down and he goes numb.

You're kept in medical as they fuss over you, trying and failing to get any information. You don't speak again, only nodding or shaking your head to answer yes and no questions.

They were able to confirm your name but beyond that, what happened is still a mystery. You can't stop thinking about the blonde man that hugged you.

You can't place who is for the life of you, but something deep in your being knows him. You know his voice and emerald green eyes, and based on his reaction you know he's someone important to you.

You want to see him again and ask him a million questions. Why did you feel electricity shoot through you when he touched your skin?

Why did his cologne smell like home and wrap you in inexplicable comfort? Why was every cell in your body screaming to turn around and run back to him? Who is he and even more pressing, why do you miss him when you don't even know his name?

You want to remember. The pain in his eyes and the sight of tears rolling down his chiseled face caused an ache in your bones and you don't know why.

You don't remember anything if you're being honest. You know that you're a sniper in the navy, and you're aware you were captured but other than that it's blank.

You can't recall anything that happened and you're frustrated.

Jake doesn't see you again for three days and in that time, he's experienced more agony than the last three months combined.

The first thing he did when they docked was call the team. They believed he had finally crossed over into insanity until Phoenix confirmed that she saw you herself and you are in fact alive.

Jake has been out of his mind trying to get information on your condition and where they took you.

When Ice finally gets the name of the hospital, he mulls over his options for another day. He wants to see you but at the same time, he doesn't want to overwhelm you.

He can't imagine what you've been through and he doesn't know if he can handle it if he shows up and you still don't know him.

He eventually says fuck it and goes anyway.

At the hospital, you're about to rip your hair out by the roots. You've talked to at least ten military officials, each one asking questions you don't want the answers to.

Right now there's a man in front of you holding a clipboard with a displeased expression.

"Do you remember what led to the attack?"

You roll your eyes against your better judgment, already fed up with the interrogation. You finally found your voice, but now you wish you would've just pretended to be mute.

"No."

He frowns and scribbles on the paper before turning his attention back to you.

"Do you remember what you did when your team was killed? What procedures you followed, how long it was before you were captured, anything?"

As soon as you register the first question the heart monitor starts beeping rapidly and you feel bile burn your throat.

"Wait, what did you say about my team being killed?" You whisper and he looks like a deer in headlights.

"Oh, I uh- I thought you knew." He babbles but you don't hear him.

An uneasiness settles in you and the blood thumping in your ears is deafening. Your stomach lurches and you grab the bedpan next to you seconds before you start to dry heave.

The doctor and nurses rush in when they hear your vitals spike and shove the man out of the room with harsh glares. You come to the conclusion he wasn't supposed to tell you that, and you wonder what else is being kept from you.

Once again you're left reeling and for some reason, the only thing you can think of is the man on the ship. Somehow you know he would be able to comfort you and say all the right things.

You hope that he shows up.

Once the staff calms you down, the words tumble out before you can process them.

"There was a man on the boat, he seemed like he knew me. Has anyone mentioned him?" You ask and the doctor frowns.

"I'm afraid not. If you have his information we can contact him for you." He offers and you can't explain the tears that sting your eyes when you realize you may never see him again.

"No, I- I don't know who he is. I mean, I do but I don't. I know that he's someone important to me, I could feel it, but everything is black." You explain and the doctor gives you a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry. If I hear anything I'll let you know. Try to get some rest." With that, he leaves you alone and sobs wrack your body.

Two hours later, the doctor is back with an unsure expression.

"There's someone here to see you. I'm not sure it's the best id-" he tries but you cut him off.

"Send them in." Your memory may be shot but your stubbornness is still intact.

He nods and a few minutes later the man from the boat walks in. He's wringing his hands together as he shifts back and forth on his feet and your heart twinges when you take in his appearance.

It's clear that he hasn't slept much and you question whether it's because of you. Deep down you know it is.

You shoot up in bed and he gives a timid smile.

"Hi." He whispers and you gesture to the stiff seat beside you.

"Hi."

He sits down and you're engulfed in that spicy vanilla cologne again. It washes over you in soothing waves and for the first time since you arrived, you feel at ease.

"So you don't remember me?" He asks and you shake your head slowly.

"No." You answer and his face drops before you continue. "I can't place who you are, but I know that you matter to me."

He looks up with hopeful eyes and that familiar swirling sensation erupts in your stomach again.

"I know your eyes and your cologne. It doesn't make sense, but I know you chew spearmint gum and like when I scratch your head. It's like my body remembers but my mind can't catch up."

He nods his head and you resist the urge to grab his hand. It's so bizarre for him. He's looking directly at the woman who holds his heart, yet she doesn't know him from Adam. He holds all these memories with you that you no longer share, and he can't quite wrap his head around the whole idea.

How is he supposed to approach this situation? There's no handbook for what to do when the love of your life doesn't know who you are anymore, he checked. He wants to be here for you however he can, but that's hard when being in your vicinity reminds him of everything that has happened.

How do you act around a person that you love with your entire being, and also grieved? He went to your funeral, he cried into a pillow for months, and he talked to the open sky about you when he believed you had been ripped away from him. How do you move forward after that?

He has no idea what your future looks like and it paralyzes him with fear.

"I'm sorry. The doctors say it's a wall my brain put up to block out the trauma. They said that when my nervous system feels safe again it should all come back, but they don't know when that'll be."

You see his Adam's apple bob up and down and it's weird to know what it feels like against your lips while having no recollection of ever placing them there.

"You don't need to feel sorry. You've been through hell, it makes sense that your mind would suppress it."

His voice shoots straight through you and you want nothing more than for him to keep talking. Just as you expected, his presence makes you feel safe.

"All these official assholes keep harassing me and trying to jog my memory. I haven't admitted it out loud, but I don't want to remember. Why would I?"

You see his face drop and immediately recognize the implication behind your words.

"Fuck, no. I didn't mean it like that. I want to remember my life more than anything, I just don't want to remember what happened over there." You elaborate and you can see this is his personal brand of hell.

"That's understandable. Can't really blame you there. What do you remember?"

You sigh and lean back, trying to run through it in your brain.

"I know that I'm A SEAL sniper. I know my name and what my favorite food is. It's just the past year that's gone."

He nods again, digesting the information when you perk up.

"Have they told you anything about what happened? They're keeping me in the dark. A man let it slip that some of my team was killed but that's all I know."

You know that he has information, it's written on his face. You realize that his expressions always convey what's on his mind and it makes you smile. You wonder if everyone can read him like an open book, or if it's something special between the two of you.

Is he this vulnerable all the time or is it reserved just for you? He looks conflicted like he's trying to decide how much to admit to, or if he should play dumb. You figure the two of you must be extremely close because you clock the moment he realizes you'll catch him if he lies.

"Come on, I won't tell anyone." You try, batting your eyelashes. He laughs lightly and your eyebrows shoot up.

"You don't know who I am yet you still know exactly how to get what you want."

You can tell he's about to cave and stick your lower lip out to seal the deal. He groans and leans back, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fine, but you don't tell anyone that I told you." He says firmly and you make a zipping motion across your mouth.

"You've been MIA for three months, and presumed dead. Your entire team except for one has been confirmed KIA. You were declared dead last week and Saturday was your funeral." He informs you gently, and the new knowledge hits you like a ton of bricks.

"Oh."

He looks at you so softly and it makes you want to cry.

"I can go if you want. I know this is a lot."

Your head snaps up and your eyes are saucers as you stare at him.

"No! No, please don't go. You're the only one that hasn't been grilling me for information and I- I feel safe with you." You plead and his hand wraps around yours with such ease that you know it's something he does a lot. His fingers slide between yours and your breath hitches at the way they fit together like puzzle pieces.

"Okay, okay. Take a deep breath. I won't leave you."

The next few days drag by as your memory continues to evade you and there's a revolving door of superiors and psychiatrists in your room. Jake can tell you're overwhelmed and does his best to help.

He's nothing short of an angel, bringing you your favorite snacks and familiar clothes. He even brought your toiletries so you can feel a little more at home in your own skin. The rest of the team hasn't been by yet, Jake told them it would probably make you feel worse to have more people that you can't remember show up.

He's steadfast in his promise to stay, only leaving to retrieve items from your home and eat. Your parents made a trip but you weren't keen on seeing them and sent them away.

Jake considers showing you pictures and telling you stories to try and jog your memory but decides it would be too much. Besides, he's intimately aware of the fact that if you remember him you'll remember everything.

As much as he loves you, he's willing to sacrifice himself to spare you the pure torture you're going to experience when that wall comes crashing down. It's bittersweet, and he wants to stave it off for as long as possible. Even if it's killing him in the process.

You've gotten more comfortable around him and it takes all his strength not to wrap you in his arms and shower you in kisses. He sees glimpses of the woman he loves but has to remind himself that he's just another person to you.

You've asked for details here and there, mostly simple things like his name and how you met. He tells you with a glimmer in his eyes and it makes your heart swell. It's so obvious how much love he has for you, and you hate that you can't just remember.

It feels like it's on the tip of your tongue, yet you just can't place it no matter how hard you try.

After three weeks, Jake starts to get concerned that he's been erased from your mind for good. It doesn't send him running the way it would have at one point though. Instead, he swears to himself that he'll earn your love again if he has to.

He simply refuses to let you go that easily, especially after everything the two of you have been through.

He jolts awake suddenly at the sound of your whimpers and his forehead creases as he watches your eyelids flutter as your eyes dart back and forth. He's been sleeping at your bedside ever since that first day and you haven't had a single dream in that time.

Worry consumes him when your forehead starts to bead with sweat and your limbs start to jerk. It's the middle of the night, somewhere around three am if he had to guess. He would look at the clock, but he's afraid to take his eyes off you for even a second.

Suddenly, your eyes fly open and you let out a short scream. You look around panicked as you try to place where you are and your lungs gasp for air. It takes a second for the sterile smell of the hospital to burn your nostrils, but when it does the past three weeks come rushing back.

Your chest heaves and you feel like you're going to be sick until that sweet scent that you love so much hits you. Jake watches with wide eyes, not wanting to startle you further and his heart feels like it's about to give out.

He hears your quiet voice ring out into the dark and if he wasn't sitting down, he would have collapsed.

"Hangman?"

@drakelover78 @manyfandomsfanvergent @ssprayberrythings @disturbedbeautywrites @desert-fern @one-sweet-gubler @callmemana @luckyladycreator2 @bookchik26 @taytaylala12 @michalkasimp @xoxabs88xox @loveless-simp @withakindheartx @formulapierre @ccristata @shanimallina87 @k-k0129 @izz-ayes-world @kajjaka @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @phantomxoxo @rosiahills22 @gspenc @chair-things @benhardysdrumstick @cookielovesbook-akie @dempy @wellshit6 @zbeez-outlet @sopheeg @callsign-milano @gizmodear @cornishkat @fox-bee926

#jake seresin #top gun maverick #top gun imagine #hangman top gun #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin top gun #jake seresin series #jake seresin angst #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin

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paigelts05 · 4 months

Text

The Warden's Recovery [FNAF, Renegade AU]

https://www.deviantart.com/paigelts05/art/The-Warden-s-Recovery-FNAF-Renegade-AU-1004820238

Renegade File Server Location: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52491037/chapters/132789442

Published: Dec 24, 2023

Recovering isn't easy, and being a walking prison for the ghost of the world's most deadly serial killer isn't easy either, but Vanessa Diego, now known as Vanessa Cabrera since her marriage, pulls through better than anyone could have hoped for. So with William permanently contained within her, the specifics of how he became trapped is a report for another desk and another day, she can stop looking at the past and start looking towards the future again.

=°•.🌹 Story 🌹.•°=

°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•🌹•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°

Recovering isn't easy.

Whilst Ness had hoped that things would go back to normal, the headaches didn't go away, odd fears had already bubbled to the surface, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched every moment of the day. She used to be used to that feeling, but she shouldn't be. The idea that she was now free didn't sit right somehow; it felt as if there was still something there that shouldn't be. Every movement she made that she didn't consciously give the green light to scared her, as what if that was him.

It had been a while, but her apprehension over even so much as falling asleep didn't fade entirely.

Even though she had Luis and Gregory, she still felt alone sometimes, as if she didn't deserve to return to a normal life, as even though she wasn't responsible for what William had done when he had full control over her body, the fact that is was her body that was used should have at least counted for something, right?

Apparently, this wasn't the CPD's first rodeo with mind melds and murders, the first being the woman behind the chronophobia killings, who was now a 24/7 on-call paranormal responder who wears half a dozen trackers at all times by her own choice, and it was actually this woman whom Ness had received her own controlled shock wristband from as a just-in-case measure if William did happen to come back (and lucky she did, as the leech was dormant and incapable, but not gone). At least she wasn't alone. Mike had compared the mind meld situation to a hostage situation where one hostage is forced to kill another, and somehow that made sense to her. And if Chofi didn't deserve to rot in a cell, then she definitely didn't either. But her heart still ached on behalf of the families William had torn apart, whose only closure was watching William's robotic vessel burn for what, the third or fourth time now?

At least she had been labelled as a paranormal entity. But then again, Gregory also had that label. As well as half the CPD paranormal department, Mike included. So it didn't mean much. Just a fancy "handle medical issues with caution and an open mind; defibrillators may kill this person" label.

No real consequences.

But, even though it was her body, she was merely the unwitting inanimate arrow; not the guilty bowman, which clouded her mind with the same old question: would she deserve the consequences.

Taking a deep breath, she sat in front of a computer screen, and pulled up a word document that had become familiar to her in the recent months. A manuscript for a book that she had decided to write. Fiction, fantasy, horror. She had started with writing of her experience of Glitchtrap taking over her mind, but the words had soon become metaphors, writing the virtual environment as a castle and herself as a princess (she had to rewrite the other bits to fit, but it was worth it). Just like how Cassey had conveyed her own grave error that wound up with Ness becoming posessed by translating the events into metaphors within the game 'Princess Quest'. She had called Cass, and she was fine with Ness writing a book using the exact same metaphors, and even encouraged her. After all, Ness had helped on that game too.

Ness's manuscript delved further into the fantasy elements and world building. The two princesses, the monsters, and the old man were all there, but she had added a knight, a court mage, and many other characters too, each a reflection of someone she knew. She had wound up writing the three arcade machines that Sylvia had glitched as people - a trio of conspirators with a dark secret. In her draft, the knight would meet each of the conspirators, but she had bearly fleshed out the story up to the first one. Most of the story was in a 'zero draft' state, as she called it; a series of notes in brackets to get a vauge outline of what was going to happen where. She had been calling the story "Conspiracy of Archedor" for quite some time, and the title kind of stuck, even if it was one of the first things she had thought of.

She resumed writing, and she felt a headache in the back of her mind. She recalled a frame of a memory from the Pizzaplex: Sylvia was playing the monty golf arcade machine, and she was watching, stalking.

She would write of the swamp conspirator next.

She found the page where the note of {knight finds swamp conspirator} was written, and under it, begun to write a story of the elegant knight chasing a noble through a swamp and getting the man to explain his connection to the dark force within the castle before giving her a green gem in exchange for keeping his life, and that the gem, when used with the others, would grant her access to the castle's innermost chambers.

She then jumped forward to her notes on the final few chapters, where the knight would hand the gems to the squire, who would then use them to open a door within the castle, which let the knight, squire, and second princess advance to the heart of the castle to save the first princess. She fleshed out her notes a little bit more before returning to the earlier segments.

There was one segment, the second third of the story, that she had managed to flesh out quite a lot but had never managed to finish, and she returned there once again to tackle the remaining notes.

The segment was about a young noble who had attempted to save the first princess before the squire showed up. She didn't know how to end that segment, and she needed to know what to do with the character of the young noble in order to work on the later segments too.

"Ness, I cooked dinner. It's beef stew."

Ness practically jumped out of her seat before turning to Luis, who was standing just behind her.

"Sorry if I scared you. You seemed really invested in writing that story," Luis said, looking a bit red in the cheeks, "but dinners ready."

Ness nodded and saved her document, twice to be safe, before heading downstairs to the dining room.

As the smell of food entered her nostrils, she felt all her worries melt away. Luis's cooking always did that to her, and she was glad that he cooked this often, especially now that they had a son. Ness could bearly ever decide what to eat herself and usually had food that was not that good for her, never mind thinking of what food would be healthy for a child.

Feeling like the luckiest woman in the world once again, she sat down at the table. As the three ate, Luis was the first to say anything.

"So, how's that book coming along?" He asked with a smile. Luis knew that Ness felt burdened by what William had used her to do, and that this book was one of the few things that Ness did to take her mind off of the tragedy. She always seemed happy to talk about the book, and if her face at work was anything to go by, she needed a quick pick-me-up conversation right about now.

"It's going ok. The draft is all here there and everywhere, but I've drafted out the swamp conspirators bit. But I don't know what I want to do with the young noble from the second third of the book, before the knight learns of the conspiracy." Ness stared at her stew for a bit, "he's kinda based on you, so I don't want to hurt him, but he fails to get through into the centre of the castle, like how the arcade didn't work for you, so I'm kind of stuck."

"You could end his bit on a cliffhanger and have him be found half dead by the knight and everyone later." Gregory said between spoonfuls of stew, "I read a lot of books at the library back when I was homeless. It was some of the only shelter I had. I've read my fair share of dark fantasy, and they like to do that kind of thing."

Luis nodded and added, "yeah, that sounds about adjacent to what happened to me when I tried to save you."

Ness nodded and continued eating. She didn't want to hurt the character who was effectively a representation of Luis, but he did almost die back when he tried to save her, and perhaps this would help her come to terms with that.

"You're right. That sounds like it'll work." Ness replied before eating another mouthful of stew.

After dinner, Ness helped clean the kitchen and dining room before retreating back to her computer and the story she was writing.

She jumped back to the end of the second third, where she had written up to the young noble finding the door that led deeper into the castle. The words had ended abruptly before the page break into part three, but she now knew what to do and noted out what to write next, and what started out as notes quickly snowballed into her writing a painful description of the young noble trying to get through the door, but it never opening, and she ended the scene on a shadowy figure that appeared to take the form of the first princess slowly approaching the young noble.

She wrapped up the scene there, and jumped forward to the first time the knight comes across the door. She had a note that was just {???} And {somehow figures out they need stuff to get in}, but she knew what to write now.

It hurt to type the words, but she wrote of the young noble, collapsed and wounded at the sealed door, bearly clinging to life, but managing to tell the knight about the conspirators and how they held the keys to this door.

And she was stuck again. What would she write to end the scene? By all means, if she was writing just some dark fantasy, she would have had the young noble close his eyes and die, but this was more than a fairytale to Ness, and she didn't want what was effectively a representation of her beloved to die.

Instead, she opted to have the Knight order the court mage to see to the young nobles wounds, as perhaps he knew more than just of the existence of the conspirators.

She smiled. That actually filled quite a few plot holes, from how the knight knew where to look, to what she was going to do with the court mage in the second two thirds of the book, as since writing the first princess's adventure and the castle of ruin arc, she had only showed the court mage a few times in the post first-princess-captured storyline, despite the mage having been the first princess's companion and being there constantly in part 1. It also roughly mirrored reality pretty well. Cass was there for her during the VR incidents, Sylvia was there for her during the Pizzaplex incidents.

As her notes became less and less vauge, she felt more confident. Perhaps this little project of hers spiraling into the tens of thousands of words was less of a chore than she thought it'd be.

She saved and backed up her work before closing her computer for the night. That was enough coping for now. She actually had to keep living as a normal person and not a depressed wannabe author if she wanted to get better.

Besides, the ghosts would be pissed if they thought she was locking herself away from everyone again, and she didn't want another spectral clip round the ear.

When she went to grab herself a cup of tea (coffee still made her head hurt, but as of late, she had been able to consume slightly larger amounts of caffeine than just a cup of tea) she saw Luis helping Gregory set up a games console in the living room. She couldn't help but smile seeing the two get along, and as she finished brewing her drink, she sat down in the living room.

"So, what are you two doing?" She smiled, wanting to make smalltalk.

"Setting up one of dad's old consoles." Gregory said as he untangled a white cable from an identical white cable with military efficiency.

"He saw some of the games that I have for this old thing and wanted to play them. So, I'm getting it set up. The remotes will probably need new batteries though." Luis added as he pulled out a box of gaming remotes and extracted the cableless white stick shaped remotes from the other types of remotes before rummaging back through the box for the teardrop shaped attachment whose cable seemed to never end.

"That seems like fun." Ness replied, smiling as she sipped her tea, "which game are you playing?"

"This one." Gregory picked up a game disk box that had a pair of malformed white rabbits in a shopping trolley on the front.

Ness half expected herself to panic when she saw it, but somehow, she didn't. Her heartbeat was normal. Her breathing was normal. She didn't feel dizzy.

"It looks like it'll be fun." Ness replied. She noted that the word 'fun' no longer left a sour taste in her mouth. She'd said it twice already, but didn't notice a thing, "do you play as the rabbits?"

The word, 'fun' didn't seem to make Gregory flinch either, as if it was just another normal word again.

"Yeah. I've read the box and instruction booklet, and it seems like it'll be fun. Also, it's kind of two player. One person can control a second cursor to pick more 'xs' stuff up and shoot things with a third rabbit, but only the first player can control the ones with the trolley." Gregory looked at the box, then at his parents, "Do either of you two want to play?"

Ness looked at Luis, and Luis looked at Ness.

"You helped set up the console, I think you deserve to play. I'm fine with watching." Ness couldn't really stop herself from smiling. She also probably wouldn't be able to stop herself from back seat gaming weather she was player two or not.

"Oh! Ok." Luis seemed a bit surprised, usually she'd never decline an offer to play a videogame, but then again, Ness looked rather tired, the game only supported a maximum of two players, and she probably wanted to rest rather than do anything remotely mentally intensive. "But if you feel like playing, I'd be happy to hand over the controller."

Ness nodded and took another sip of her tea, "yeah, but I just feel like watching today."

Whilst his parents had been talking, Gregory had switched the console on and inserted the disk. He then begun to faff about with the cables connecting the console and TV and begun messing about with the television remote, trying to figure out if everything was working.

After adequate faffing to try and set up the remotes, he turned to Luis.

"Which one of these do I select?" He asked, looking between Luis and the TV, the consoles main menu showing what looked like multiple smaller screens.

"Top left." Luis replied without even looking.

"Alright…" Gregory said as he waved around the remote to try and find the cursor, "you said it's motion controlled. How do I motion control."

"Have you set up the controllers?" Luis asked?

"Yeah." Gregory replied as he passed Luis one of the controllers, "here's the player 2 remote."

"You need to point the remote at the screen like this," Luis replied, holding the remote horizontal to the screen, akin to how you'd hold a television remote, "and you should see a cursor."

Sure enough, there was a red cursor on screen, clearly belonging to Luis's player 2 remote.

Gregory nodded and mimicked the motions, pointing his remote at the screen. He couldn't help but smile when the blue cursor popped up. It had been years since he had played a game on a home console (his biological father had some consoles, but all the remotes were the generic looking plug-in ones). Shaking off the past, not wanting to dwell on it any longer, he pointed his remote at the screen and aimed the cursor at the top left mini-screen.

"This one, right?"

"Yep!" Luis replied in an encouraging tone, "now you need to click the 'A' Button."

"Which one's that?" Gregory asked, trying to read the faded lettering on the old remote. He had seen many remotes, and each had a different idea on where the 'A' button should be, so he assumed this was no different.

"It's the one in the centre below the D pad." Luis replied, only just noticing how faded the lettering on the remote that Gregory had picked up was, "We should probably switch remotes. This one is less faded. It'll only take a bit to switch which one's player 1 and 2."

"Nah, I can learn." Gregory replied as he actually selected the top left mini-screen, subjecting everyone in the house to ear shatteringly loud brass band Romanian folk music.

Ness quickly turned the volume down to a reasonable level, but not before noting that it had previously been at 40. This television was loud at 20, so she wasn't surprised that her ears were ringing a little.

Now that the volume wasn't agonising, she could actually listen to the soundtrack of the game, and it actually sounded very nice, as she presumed the sound designers intended. After all, you're not supposed to listen to anything at such a high volume: anything will sound like pain when at a high enough volume. Something she had learned in the worst way possible back at the megaplex.

"The console menu screen music is pretty quiet and I thought that the audio channel on the plug wasn't working." Gregory replied, "forgot to turn it back down."

"When did you even turn it up?" Luis half laughed as he tried to quell his ears brand new problems.

"When you two were talking." He said as he managed to navigate the games menus. Two of the profiles were in-use, and one was not.

"Would you look at that! A spare save slot. Let's use that one." Luis smiled as he helped Gregory start a new game.

As Ness watched, she was surprised that the bunny-centric gameplay didn't scare her. Probably because the rabbits looks so cartoonish and wild compared to the killer bunnies she had to put up with.

When the actual gameplay started, Gregory had a hard time figuring out the controls, and he did soon concede and accept Luis's offer to switch remotes. Switching which controller was which didn't take long at all, and being able to see which button was which certainly helped Gregory learn the controls.

The gameplay seemed to be slightly infuriating but fun, the movement feeling like you're actually trying to navigate a shopping cart around, and some of the timed segments were brutal, but the utter chaos was fun to watch, and the evening slipped by in a blaze of laughter and fun rage.

The next morning, Ness woke up to the usual sound of an alarm, and the usual 'good morning' from a still half asleep Luis. But something felt different. As she got washed and dressed, it hit her: she hadn't had a nightmare. This marked the first time since they left the megaplex behind for good that she didn't have a nightmare but still had a dream, so she smiled. No dream was better than a bad dream, but actually dreaming was something that was once again new to her, and she was glad to have her dreams back.

As she sat down to eat breakfast with everyone else, Luis gave her a little nudge. "You know you have the day off, right? You don't need to rush."

Ness realised just how fast she was eating and shrugged it off. She was feeling better, but knew that she wouldn't be going back to normal working hours any time soon: she was still ill. Her body was a cacophony of medical issues caused from her time as Vanny: shattered kneecaps from inhuman jumps, broken bones from fights she shouldn't have won and falls she shouldn't have survived, poorly healed abdominal scars from her own attempts at saving Vanny's victims and her patch-jobs in the aftermath. She had many wounds that needed tending to and many wounds that needed some level of inactivity and time in order to heal properly, just to list some of the physical wounds.

"Yeah, I just don't want to feel like a slob. Besides, I'm meeting up with a friend today." She smiled; just because she was resting didn't mean she had to slob about inside all day.

Luis lit up, "really? Who!" He was ecstatic that Ness was no longer shutting herself in, physically or emotionally.

"Vincent Taylor," Ness replied. She saw the man as being like an uncle to her, and they both had William destroying any chance they had if being normal since day one in common, "You know, the florist. The guy who got shipped to us in a crate and we thought Faz Ent' mailed us a corpse?"

"Of course I remember him, like I'd forget the guy who did the flower arrangements for our wedding." Luis replied, "I know you're always worrying about my memory since you know when, but I've not suffered any lasting effects from it, promise."

Luis knew how much Ness was terrified of being alone. Unsurprising given that soon after the raid on the megaplex that was supposed to end all the terror, Ness had been kidnapped by Fazbear Entertainment and had been subject to the horrors again. He didn't have much information on what had happened back then, seeing as he was in hospital the entire time for a wound he had received in trying to save her the day she was kidnapped, but if the 'we don't talk about it' policy everyone involved subconsciously followed regarding that and the linked 'Ruins' incident was anything to go by, he probably didn't want to know.

At least she won't be alone today.

As Gregory set off for school, Luis set off for work, and Ness set off for the local park.

Ness found a bench shaded by a tree, far from both the play park and car park, so it was just her, and whoever was passing by. She was surprised at how she didn't feel scared, but chalked it up to the fact that she wasn't surrounded by walls and circuitry, and she was in public to boot. The cold morning air made her feel awake and alive, and when she recognised someone in a white wide brimmed sun hat adorned with a green ribbon and purple flowers, she waved him over.

"A bench in the shade on the far side of the park isn't a very good descriptor, you know." Whilst Vincent couldn't be physically out of breath, he mentally was, "especially at this time of day, when nothing is in the shade."

"Well you found it eventually." Ness smiled in return.

"I suppose I did," Vincent smiled with a slight chuckle. Even after all this time, hearing a genuine laugh or seeing a genuine smile from the man was a rare occasion, but both had just occured, "well, this isn't the most conventional way to spend a Wednesday. For you at least."

"I've had days off on Wednesdays since I got back home." Ness gave a shrug and a smile, "At first I also had half days on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was back to full-time Thursdays within a week, and Tuesdays I just spend the latter half of the day in the break room."

"Because of your fear of being alone or your inability to drive?" Vincent inquired. Since the entire megaplex incidents, Ness had been unable to drive. Vincent could empathise.

"Both I guess." Ness paused for a breath before continuing in a mellow tone. "I don't think I'll be back behind the steering wheel for a while yet. And, why do you think I can wait out here alone but can't stand to be home by myself?"

Vincent smiled and shook his head. "You link being alone to being controlled by William. I recall you mentioning in the early days of your possession that he would refrain from taking control when others were around. I take it your body recognised this as a pattern and instilled this fear in order to prevent you from leaving yourself vulnerable."

"And I don't feel this fear outside because it's a public place with government owned surveillance and where there's no surveillance, there are plenty of witnesses," Ness replied as she gazed at a butterfly that had landed on her knee, "everything I do is being observed by at least one person Fazbear Entertainment can't control, with another witness probably not far from them, and because William only ever took control when I was alone bar his intended victim, I guess being in public just feels safe."

Vincent nodded "then maybe you should try it more often. How about when both you and Luis both have the day off, you can both come here. It might help him too. Being in the fresh air, not the in public bit."

Ness recalled what Luis had gone through during the last stretch of the Raid: being used as Adelaide's test subject. She didn't want to think about the horrors he'd experienced; getting turned into a feral assassin and getting set loose on a crowd of Endos and Friends.

Perhaps that was why he was so uneasy at the shopping centre a two weekends ago.

"That might help, as long as it's not busy." Ness nodded.

"The park is never busy unless it's a warm August day nowadays," Vincent smiled, "but I prefer it that way. Less people to convince that I'm just a weird furry each time my hat falls off."

Vincent adjusted his hat as he spoke, and only then was Ness reminded that under the man's sun hat were a pair of animatronic's ears that were effectively welded into his skull. Which reminded Ness of a somewhat adjacent thing of her own.

Rolling up her sleeves, she showed Vincent a pair of metal bracers around her wrists. "That reminds me. The prototype was finished shortly after I got home from that ordeal."

Vincent observed the bracers and the panels of buttons under a layer of perspex that adorned them. "What is it anyway?"

"Containment bracers! Cassey T and that ghost girl in her head made them way back when but they haven't worked on me until now. William is weak. With everything that happened at the megaplex, he was left with few options. Unfortunately for me, he eventually gave up on Burntrap and tried to latch back on to me. But I was ready and I tricked him, so it's closer to normal possession this time. So that's why the bracers now work. He just, leeches instead of actually trying shit. And whilst dad does most of the fighting now to keep him as just a leech, these bracers issue periodic controlled shocks that I can't even feel to keep William contained." Ness explained all of this with a smile, "people at the station have taken to calling me 'The Warden' thanks to my new duty."

"'Warden Vanessa'." Vincent repeated, "Quite the title."

"Just 'The Warden'," Ness replied, "I'd rather keep my anonymity."

Vincent nodded. "I understand," he said, "you didn't exactly have much of a choice in your duty. But you performed it well, even before your title. Remind me, how many years did your spend shirking William's orders?"

"Umm…" Ness couldn't entirely remember how long she had been posessed for. When was the VR project…. Two, three, four years ago? More or less? "I don't remember. Between two and four?" She replied. It might have even been five years. She couldn't be bothered to check.

"Well, regardless. However long it was, it took William Afton torturing you for years before you began doing anything - sorry for bringing up that time he made you attack Luis during that first time that rabbit man tried to make you go to the megaplex. And it took even more for him to actually drag you to that damned place. It took him just assuming direct control over you and using you like a meat puppet for your body to be used to actually kill someone. You went years containing him within you before HE had to actually assume full control over your body in order to do damage himself. And this was before anyone was able to make professional apparatus to specifically contain him" Vincent recounted a shortened version of the last few years of Ness's life, hoping that maybe this was the time she understood that Ness, the freaking WARDEN of Glitchtrap, the one woman keeping Glitchtrap out of the hands of the cult within Fazbear Entertainment whom worshiped the dead CEO, and that she, Vanessa Diego - no, it was Vanessa Cabrera now - was innocent, and that her innocence was legally declared at the very casual meeting where she was given the title of warden in the first place, "And even when he assumed control, you did everything you could to keep him from harming anyone. You may have failed a few times, but you, a normal girl who is SUSCEPTIBLE to possession, managed to STAVE OFF and THWART the possession of one of the most dangerous ghosts ever recorded. And now you continue to do that. You're doing great Ness. Better than I ever could have."

Vincent had admitted a million times that he was a mere tool who obeyed orders as he saw no other way to minimise casualties, and he had died to his own victim's hands in the end. But when he looked at Ness - he considered the girl his niece at this point - he saw someone who refused to be a tool, someone who was given two options of 'kill or they'll be killed by someone else more horrid than you', and said 'fuck no' to it all and carved her own path out of it where she didn't have to kill anyone, where it took William trapping her within the megaplex with little to no food and water for her to fall off of the path she had made for herself, and even then, with every action Ness could control, she tried to drag herself back to her no-kill, now minimum casualties, path. Never giving up.

Ness nodded. After the upteenth time of being told, it truly was beginning to sink in. Ness, the warden, was actually not only innocent, but also was holding the line keeping Fazbear Entertainment from getting thier hands back on thier CEO. She didn't have a reply, she just smiled. Whilst recalling her time as a mere puppet at the megaplex hurt, she knew that that's what she was there; a posessed puppet, and anyone else in her position would have probably been forgiven for just letting themselves fall asleep and wake up with blood on thier hands. But Ness fought tooth and nail for control, refusing to just become a tool so easily, and on many nights, made sure the only blood on her hands was her own. She remembered the ghost kids that carolled her out of the guest room she had locked herself in back when she felt she didn't deserve freedom, and remembered thier later conversation's: that for each of them, there were two other kids who made it out alive, knowing her as the strange woman posessed by a horrible thing that she thwarted by harming herself just to buy them more time.

"I guess that's why I'm excited for William Afton's trial." Ness grinned, "At some point, we're actually hoping to bring him to trial: that'll be when me and these bracers really get thier time to shine, as they'll need to actually talk to William, and they don't want to risk anyone getting hurt. I can't wait to watch the playback and see the look on William's face when the twenty surviving kids testify that I freaking filleted myself just to buy them more time. The only two I don't remember having to gut or stab myself to save were Rachel and Gregory, and Rachel saw me force William to give Luis a fair fight, and Gregory is well, Gregory. Maybe I did though and just can't remember."

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself, warden," Vincent smiled back, "there isn't even a date planned yet, and finding suitable lawyers for a case like this is not easy. I know we have Kit, but she can't one-fox-show an entire courtroom."

"Would Fazbear Entertainment's former own court demon Kayla be a good choice," Ness suggested, "or do you think it'd be a conflict of interest, seeing as, you know, Faz Ent killed her a few weeks back."

"Suggesting it won't hurt, but even if it is, Kit could use a good co-council," Vincent giggled; the prospect of Kit and Kayla teaming up was an interesting one that would definitely leave an impression on the courts.

"So I guess we'll just have help more with the prep work," Ness smiled and even giggled herself, but the sound didn't sound disturbing or strange.

Hearing her effective uncle (she has considered her mother's friend's former colleague her uncle for a while now) also giggle didn't sound odd either, and he'd told her himself how he used to have no emotions and how almost every smile and laugh had been forced. She couldn't help but giggle more at how pathetic he must have soudned in the 80's when he was forced to laugh or smile.

"Is the idea of finding a third lawyer really that funny?" Vincent asked.

"Nah. I'm just thinking about how you and your former colleagues described your laughing back in the 80's and early 90's." Ness felt tears in the corners of her eyes as she strained to not burst into a full fit of laughter.

Vincent's cheeks puffed as he replied with "well yours weren't much less ridiculous."

"I know! He made me sound ridiculous!" Ness couldn't hold it anymore. It took her letting out one chuckle, and she was gone.

She started laughing harder than she'd ever laughed before. At how William had made her laugh, at how the former emotionless hitman used to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing, and Vincent followed suit, also laughing at how ridiculous his forced laughs from the 80's were, and at how they finally could just laugh at themselves.

Being able to laugh and not feel like a manic? Ness figured that that was another good step in the right direction.

°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•🌹•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°•°°

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kurosstuff · 1 year

Note

PLeAse! oh hi.

Everyone ignored this request idk why bUT

Okay, we are one and only maid at Beneviento and we are in love obviously. Somehow an assasin or sorts tried to kill Donna, but we prevented it. And now every lord thinks we are a traitor. Some tragedy, some drama, some torture if you will.

I love this request so much?? I didn't add Salvatore cause idk how to write him- at all so- sorry about that! And I may have forgotten Heisenberg until I reread this- SO um sorry!

Sorry this took so long to write

SO REREADING THE REQUEST I FORGOT YOU SAID MAID- IM SORRY. If you want me to rewrite it tell me

Warning(s): failed assassination(is that a warning idk); torture methods- gore- fluff then angst. Some hints/thoughts of su***de- BUT never actually talked about just hinted!! Slightly detailed leading up to death?. Noose mentioning

Y/N used

Donna Beneviento x Reader: Bad Choices

Every month during a big commission- Donna will stay in her workshop. Working herself dry- until she passes out from hunger or exhaustion. Or both. She'd kick Angie out to make sure there's no distractions. So she can do her work in peace.

That's where you came in

"Donna love" you called out knocking on the door "please come rest" Donna smiled softly putting her almost finished doll down.

"Alright"

Stubborn as she is she can't help but agree- she wouldn't want you to grow concerned for her during this time. Placing the paintbrush down she set the doll on a shelf to dry- grabbing a Towel she whipped her hands before turning towards you. Smiling softly her face full of devotion and love- walking towards you she linked her arm with yours

"I believe a nap would do wonders on my mind my dear" Donna spoke softly- Angie running about in the small distance like a toddler would on a playground- but more wild.

"I can't help but agree"

It took three minutes to get Angie to take a nap- the last one minute ended with a bribe. Bake cookies and watch whatever movie she picks out- can the doll eat? No. Does that stop her? Also no. If Angie could she'd currently be drooling in her bed at the thought of the cookies- even though she can't taste it.

Another three minutes spent taking the time to get ready for the nap. Taking turns brushing the others hair while giggling about whatever was on your minds. That all ended in bed- Donna curled into your side her arm stretched out to wrap you into a warm embrace

"I love you"

"I love you more dear"

A noise woke the dollmaker up. A creaking sound down the hall- the light sleeper she's known for any noise would awaken her. Yawning softly Donna carefully pulled herself away from your arms. Stopping to make sure you didn't wake up.

Angie must have gotten up again.

Standing up Donna stretched her back popped in a satisfying way before grabbing heryour jacket zipping it up she rubbed her face sleepily. Out of habit grabbing her veil to a wear without a thought. Walking out of the bedroom she started down the hall to the kitchen- only place Angie could be at this hour.

Donna stopped before she turned the corner- even mostly asleep she still felt something off about tonight. She turned to look interesting living room in deep thought. A slow chill swept over her as she did. Her eye caught the window still open- the current blowing gently from the wind. Huffing she walked over closing and locking it

"Can't believe we forgot to clo-" she stopped. No one's been in this room since yesterday. Her heart pounded harshly against her chest. Before she could even yell a fist collided into the side of her head- blinking she couldn't do anything but fall- looking up her ears rang- burned in pain. She looked terrified at the man infront of her- standing up wobbly from the shock and hit to the head- Donna blinked her mind racing. Thinking quickly she screamed out loud- bloody murder in hopes to wake you up- her dolls slowly waking up to come to her rescue.

She only hoped you'd be safe

Slamming into Donna the man didn't give her anymore time to think as he pulled his knife out to stab her- almost successfully doing so if you didn't yank him off sending a punch his way. Donna screamed her dolls finally flying off from where they peacefully laid stabbing the man in his legs and back. Blood was spilled only driving him to even more violence- slashing infront of him wildly he caught your stomach gaining mad once you back up holding your stomach bleeding out.

"NO! PLEASE GET OUT"

Donna sobbed grabbing her scissors to hopefully to scare him off. He barely budged when the shears dug into his shoulder. "Fucking freak" he barked out rushing forward yanking Donna's by her veil pulling it off. He grimaced disgusted by what he saw. An imperfection. Before he grinned. He saw the look of horror in her face when he saw her- the real her.

"You really are a freak ain't ya? Fucking disgusting" pulling his knife from his side out he whipped it on his bloodied shirt. "Here. I'll be nice. Don't wanna look? Don't have to if your blind" cackling to himself Donna cried begging him to let go. Reaching his hand up he struck down missing by just a kick- his aim landing onto Donna's side causing her to scream wildly. Her anxiety spiking- your vision blurred you sprung forward yelling.

Everything became a mush of blood and yelling. You weren't sure what was happening exactly just aware you were fighting him off still. Everything became woozy from the blood loss before everything became black. You fell with a thud.

The last thing you heard was a scream

Waking up your body was sore. Everything hurt- like you were thrown into something hard. You shivered- it took a moment before everything cleared up. Blinking you looked around confused. A cell. A cold wet cell. You were in a cell. Sitting up you hissed in pain- looking down you took note of the bloodied shirt cut up showing stabbed wounds from the fight with the-

Donna

Fear

Footsteps came down the hall- clicking of heels. The only one you could think of that owned these types of cells. Lady Dimitrescu. Bending down she entered the cell. One look at her face and you knew.

She was pissed

"W-wait what happened to Donn-" "Don't you dare say her name" your face stung. You looked up at Lady Dimitrescu in confusion before realizing. She slapped you grabbing you by your hair she dragged you out of the cell.

"Ow-" a glare sent your way you thought it would be wise to keep silent.

"How dare you. Use her in such a way. Made her believe-" sucking in her breath. The tall lady yanked you up throwing you into a chair. "You disgust me. She loved you."

"I lov-"

"Don't fucking lie to me. I saw it. The blood all around her. The knife in your hand." Blinking tearfully you recalled the events. The knife in your hand...? Oh god

"No you've got it wrong I- I'd never hurt her-"

"But she is."

Your blood ran cold. "Sh- she is? Will she be ok?" Lady Dimitrescu scuffed in disgust but other wise didn't say anything nor did she give you any comfort by ramming you into anything she could possibly pass in the halls. Each corner burned as the gashes on you opened again- bleeding badly.

The cold wet tiles under you did nothing to help you- the broken glass from whatever used to be there didn't either. Just added to your current injury. As you were being dragged off you thought. Why was she behaving like you did something? Like you hurt Donna? You'd never do such a thing.

Not her.

Never her.

"Mother Miranda wants to see you" Lady Dimitrescu spoke her voice full of disgust. Sending a glare your way to warn you of any speaking out of turn. "If it were up to me if feed you to those annoying pests out there. But unluckily for you Mother Miranda wants to see you for what you did."

A door opened and the next thing you knew you were tossed into the room Mother Miranda stood her back towards you. Dread filled you. Something bad was about to happen and you had no idea what it could be. Lady Dimitrescu stood directly behind you pushing you to kneel aggressively. She waited until your gaze fell to the ground.

"Mother Miranda i have brought the... traitor" she spoke clearing her throat. Her voice boomed unlike the usual calm almost respectful she spoke with venom. Venom laced in her voice because it was spoken about you. To Mother Miranda of all people.

Looking up was a mistake

Finally turned around, Mother Miranda stared into your eyes. Cold eyes stared into yours through her mask. You couldn't exactly make out what she could be feeling given her mask but. You could tell she wasn't happy. She was pissed.

"Y/N." Mother Miranda spoke after a while of just staring silently. "What do you have to say for yourself." It was no question. But a demand. When you didn't speak, Lady Dimitrescu grabbed you - her nails dug into your shoulders harshly. Yanking you forward towards Mother Miranda. You still sat kneeled infront of her

"Are you aware of the accusations placed upon you? By Lady Dimitrescu herself. The proof." That you did it left unsaid, but you were more than aware of what she left out. Mother Miranda clicked her tongue in annoyance. It became silent. No noise, even from behind you. She stepped forward. Her heels clicking as she goes towards you. Stopping in front of you, Mother Miranda leaned down close to your ear

"No one hurts my child and gets away with it. Not when I have anything to say about it." You froze in fear. Pissing the Lord's off is one thing - terrifying in its own right but making Mother Miranda mad? You'd much rather deal with anything else than whatever horrors you'll face.

"Time to make an example of you."

The rare sleep - if you weren't getting hit. Punched. Choked - it was painful. The only relief of it was when you were knocked out during it all. But waking up bloodied and in pain? The worst type of pain

"Come on. Get up" a harsh hit to your bloodied stomach woke you from your sleep. Looking up you looked at Lady Dimitrescu silently too tired to ask- and knowing better then doing so.

"It's time," she smirked her face dark. "How I've waited for this day." Yanking you up without a word, she dragged you down the hall. Only difference was that she was being careful. Too careful- it sent a shiver down your spine at what she could be planning now. Blinking your face hit the floor. Looking up you saw yet again Mother Miranda sitting in a chair this time infront of you.

You stayed silent

"I've been thinking. Long and hard about a fitting punishment for you, " like the treatment you were being given wasn't even a punishment. Humming she mumbled to herself. Standing up Mother Miranda cleared her thoat

Missing what she said, you let yourself be carried away - unsure of what was happening. No one was telling you anything. No one was believing you. The cold stares of disgust in everyone's face made you want to vomit. What happened to Donna? Why did they think it was you.

Everything went black. Everything was muffled. The voices around you talked yet you couldn't figure out what anyone was saying- hands roughly yanking you up causing you to hiss at the pain. Your body hurt. Everything hurt.

"What better yet to make sure this won't happen again then.. to make it public?"

"What?" Donna froze, staring at Alcina- her face paled at what she just said - at the realization. "they didn't do this."

The two of them sat in silence after you left. Mother Miranda moved to sit in her chair again. Rubbing her forehead in exhaustion. "Seeing them brings me great pain from what they've done to my daughter." She spoke "my daughter. She hurt them"

With a buff from her cigarette holder, Lady Dimitrescu looked over. "They deserve what's coming to them. Tricking poor Donna only to betray her.. it's sick" they both agreed silently that it was sick- the thought of gaining trust- making the person fall in love- waiting until their guard was down to attempt murder-? What a sick thought.

Footsteps echoed down the hall rushing towards the door they were in. Mother Miranda stood in attempt to compose herself. A maid rushed in before anyone could ask she hurriedly panted out

"Lady Beneviento is awake!"

Without a word, they rushed out of the room to the one down the hall- opening it there laid Donna covered in bandages- laying their looking more refeshed than when she was brought in practically on deaths doorstep. Looking up she smiled at them

"Donna!" Rushing to her, they started checking her over, ensuring her injuries were better than before - and to their delight they were, they both spoke at the same time unable to keep up Donna let them continue for a couple minutes more glancing at the door every now and again

"My dear sweet daughter-" Mother Miranda spoke reaching over she cradling her face gently to look her in the eye.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes mother"

"Did you get enough rest?"

"Yes mother"

"You can get more- you only slept for about 3 weeks"

"No m- wait." Donna stopped, causing the two to look at her - actually look at her. They noticed how drained she looked while looking refreshed - how she kept looking at the door

"Don't worry. The one who hurt you will not be coming back" Alcina spoke reassuringly. Nodding towards her Donna looked at the door.

"That's not who I'm wondering about.." seeing their confused faces- it cause worry to sink in.

".. where's Y/N?" The room became silent. Mother Miranda hummed at the fleeting thought of what was to come to them. She cleared it up

"We took that traitor in"

Donna looked over, confused - Alcina cleared her throat. "After they failed at killing you, I took them to my celler," she attempted to clear it up.

Silence filled the room. The two lords stared in silence- Mother Miranda stood frozen for another time. Guilt filled them. Terror of what would eventually come. The signs pointed at you being the one who attempted to kill her- Donna.

"What did you do."

But it was wrong

They were wrong.

They just hoped they can make it in time. Before it's too late.

The three of them raced down the hall as fast as they could. Alcina barked out orders for any passing by maids. "GET OUT OF THE WAY OR YOU'LL BE THE NEXT WINE" is a threat no one wants to hear from their lady nonetheless. Everyone hurried out of their way if they didn't Want to be crushed.

Throwing the doors open, the three of them raced down the stairs and to the town - it was a shock to the townspeople to see two Lords running wildly like they were fearful much less their own Goddess. One look at Mother Miranda and everyone decided it'd be best to stay out of this. But the look on her face sent fear into their hearts.

Panting from the run, Donna looked around helplessly, with no sign of you anywhere until she heard cheering. Looking to the left of her down the side between the bakery and some random house stood a crowd. A cheering crowd. A weird feeling crept into Donna's stomach and up her throat - like the feeling of throwing up but not.

She didn't know why she felt that way until she heard what they were saying exactly

"KILL THEM"

"TRAITOR TRAITOR!!"

The three of them pushed through the crowd, who became quiet upon seeing them. Donna gasped. There, in the middle of the crowd, sat a small stage. One used for plays - entertainment. This was no normal entertainment. It was a sick form of one. A sick, twisted thought of entertainment. A sick punishment.

A public execution.

There you stood. On a chair. Arms tied behind your back. They at least gave you the privacy of covering your face. A noose wrapped around your neck. It dawned on them on what was about to happen

"I ORDER YOU TO STOP," Mother Miranda yelled out. Everything froze like time slowed down. Donna caught sight of the one holding the rope let go.

They were too slow.

With a loud sickening crack, everything became silent. No words were spoken. No one moved. Then the cheering began- they rid the town of the one who dared harm their Lord.

The assassin failed to kill Donna themself. But where they failed- the lords and Mother Miranda helped. They unknowingly helped destroy Donna's will to live. Her spirit from what they've done to the one person who loved her what she was. Who she was.

Donna stood frozen - unsure of what she saw was real. Was it real? The pain in her chest felt real. The wettness on her cheek felt too real to be a nightmare. The realization kicked in- her lip quivered. Falling to her knees in a sob- a broken sob. Her breath hiccuping from her loud sobs- her screams of pain holding herself. Donna pushed into the ground- the words she spoke muffled from her sobs and ground. It was the loudest anyone's ever heard her.

They killed Donna in the worst way- a fate worse then death.

They took away her heart- her will to keep going. Donna lived for you- and now you're gone.

There's nothing anyone can do

#donna beneviento x reader #donna beneviento #ill admit i had writers block for a bit but im here again!#resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil village x reader

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pparkerized · 9 months

Text

a new kind of enemy || tasm roleswap au

summary: after the tragic death of his uncle, peter isn't handling it so well. with his desire to exact revenge on the man who killed him growing stronger, until one day, he realizes just how he can give himself the power to fight back. but of course, there are consequences to his actions.

originally posted to ao3 in 2021 but later deleted when i thought about rewriting it, i was set on rewriting it but then stuff got in the way and i forgot. but reposting the full thing here for that one anon who asked and whoever else wants to read,, hope you like it!

word count: 2,716 words

[fic under the cut!!]

~~~

The lab was shrouded in complete darkness, but Peter didn't care. He was far past caring the moment he made his decision to come here. It would have been almost entirely impossible for someone like him, a teenager most of all, to be able to break into Oscorp like this — such a high security lab with guards sweeping the perimeter from every corner.

But he'd quickly discovered how to get past them. After all, Gwen had told him all that he needed in order to get back inside. But not even she knew what he was about to do right now. His mind wandered back to the field trip when he and Gwen had wandered off and the blonde had shown him a few of Oscorp's secrets, Peter had been in awe at all of them. Then again what egghead wouldn't be?

For a moment Peter asked himself, what had brought him here? Why was he so willing to do this? But very quickly the answer had made itself clear in his mind. He lacked the strength and ability, the power to avenge his Uncle who had died just four months prior to this. Ben hadn't deserved his fate, he'd deserved to live a long and happy life — not have it cut short by some asshole with a gun…

It was that day Peter had decided that people just weren't worth it. Good ones were rare to come across, but even then, how could you know how to trust them? The police were worthless, they hadn't done anything to help. And both himself and Aunt May were suffering because of it.

So here Peter was, standing in the vaults of Oscorp, staring at the vial of serum on the desk. A more rational side of himself argued that this was a terrible idea. That he was going to destroy himself just so he could exact his revenge — but another part of his mind, the one that was burning with a desire for revenge was egging him on, telling him that it was a good idea, the perfect idea. And that it'd all be worth it once the man who had murdered his Uncle was taken to justice. Proper justice.

Once he'd gotten these powers and took them out for a little test drive, he'd set on finding the criminal and he'd make him pay. Aunt May believed that he was on a school trip for the next few days so he'd have plenty of time to search.

Peter wasn't stupid, unlike the rest of the employees at Oscorp. He knew that Spider-Man, New York's latest vigilante, had gotten his powers from the venom of a spider that had been part of an experiment here. He'd done plenty of research, in fact, he'd even taken a brief glance of the room when Gwen had been showing him through the different labs at Oscorp. Sure, the experiment had been shut down and the spiders all killed, but Peter knew that Oscorp would've kept at least some of the spider's venom somewhere. They'd most likely be hoping to use it for something.

So if Peter could get this venom and use it on himself? He'd have the same powers as Spider-Man. And that was all he needed in order to avenge Uncle Ben.

His eyes raked over the desk and he quickly set to work on finding the serum. It was here, he was sure of it, this was the only place it could be. Oscorp's deepest vaults. He snorted to himself, for high security there wasn't exactly much security going on to keep anyone out.

There! His eyes flashed with determination as he found what he was looking for. A vial cased within some glass that was filled with green liquid. A note was attached to it, Peter's eyes narrowed as he read the messy writing.

SPIDER-VENOM EXPERIMENT #111

DESTROY

He scoffed lightly and opened the case, taking what was inside in his hands and he gazed at it with wonder. So, this was it? This was what had granted Spider-Man his powers.

Peter then proceeded to snatch a clean syringe off of the desk beside him, carefully pouring the liquid out into it.

He held it up, adjusting his glasses and he swallowed hard. This was it. It was now or never. If he was caught now… Then he'd be done for, and he'd have no opportunity like this one ever again. He'd never be able to do what he needed because like this, he was weak, frail — he wouldn't be able to do anything on his own this way.

Before he could dwell more on the thought, or even listen to the rational part of his mind screaming at him to stop, Peter jabbed the syringe into his arm. He watched as the green liquid disappeared into his bloodstream and pulled the syringe out of his skin once it was completely empty.

There was a fluttering feeling in his chest for a moment and he shifted uncomfortably. His arm started aching where he'd put the syringe in and concern welled up inside him. Maybe this was just part of the process, a little pain, after all it was a foreign substance that his body had never dealt with before. Spider-Man had probably gone through the same thing.

Suddenly, a sharp pain sliced its way through his body and Peter let out a sharp cry, crumpling to the floor as his legs gave way from underneath him. His body trembled as his skin burned, he felt almost as if he were on fire, he knew that wasn't the case but in this moment he felt like it. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly as another scream tore through his throat, almost ripping his vocal cords apart as the fire in his body burned hotter and more violently. Every part of his body was in pain, and he desperately wanted it to stop.

His heart was racing and his breathing was coming out in ragged, uneven pants. He felt his ears burn even hotter, the tips especially — his teeth ached with such pain that Peter had to keep his jaw unlocked. He clawed at the ground, not expecting a harsh screeching sound to fill his ears as he did so, but he didn't have time to think about that. He curled in on himself as the burning continued to spread throughout his body, he couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, he could barely hear anything over his own pained shrieks.

After a couple of seconds of more intense pain, the pain decreased, enabling him to move out of the fetal position he was currently in. The burning subsided a little, allowing him to shakily push himself to his feet — but the pain wasn't entirely gone. With a shuddering breath Peter heaved himself up to lean against the desk,

He stood there motionless for a few minutes, until there was nothing but a cold fire etching through his veins. As each minute passed, the pain started easing and he finally let himself shift in place, still gasping for breath as he hadn't been able to breath at all before.

He'd done it. He'd actually done it.

He glanced down where his hand was still gripping his shirt tightly and to his utmost surprise his skin had become a pale, sickly green color and his fingernails were unnaturally sharp. He furrowed his brow and turned in place, his trembling hand lifted up a large shard of glass that had lay broken on the desk.

And when he looked up at his reflection, he let out a surprised breathy chuckle. Of course. Things always came with a price. Peter ground his teeth together, his teeth which had also sharpened themselves to a point. He clenched his fists, not caring if his nails dug into his skin so much that they drew blood.

When Spider-Man had gotten his powers, he'd become a miraculous hero, a sight to see — but why, then he'd used the very same venom on himself, had it turned him into...

This?

His skin, like what he had seen on his arm, was now vastly paler — with darker dark green veins visible through his skin, on his neck and cheek. His ears had also become pointy at the tips; he noted that it must have happened when the tip of his ears had burned significantly more painfully earlier. And what caught Peter's attention most were his eyes.

His irises, which had been a light chocolate brown, were now a piercing green — the sclera had also changed, becoming what Peter saw was a mix of yellow and green. His glasses had fallen off when he'd collapsed to the floor, but Peter had barely noticed, he could see clearly without them now.

He dropped the shard with a sharp inhale. He could barely think straight, yet he had a million thoughts racing through his mind at that moment. What was he going to do like this? How could he go home to Aunt May looking like this? He'd give her a heart attack just by walking through the door!

He started tugging at his hair as his thoughts spiraled on. What had he done to himself? Why did he turn into this? He didn't feel anymore powerful, he just felt… Strange. He was a monster he was—

Peter stopped tugging violently at his hair as he let out an abrupt laugh that stopped him in his thoughts.

Another laugh followed. And another. And another. After that he found himself shaking with uncontrollable laughter. And among the manic laughs, a choked sob escaped his lips as the reality of the situation hit him once again. His smile, which he didn't even notice he was doing at first, became mangled on his face until it appeared more like a grimace.

He turned again, his body slumping as he did so, and then his gaze fell on something before him, something he hadn't even noticed when he'd first entered the room. He'd been too preoccupied with the venom that he'd completely looked past this.

It was what appeared to be a black and green suit of armor. Attached to it was a glider coloured in the same fashion. He stumbled forward, almost drawn to it in a way and he looked in awe at what was now before him. Maybe… Maybe he could use this. If the venom had only cursed him with this new appearance rather than bless him with powers, perhaps he could use this to his advantage.

He lifted a clawed finger and froze as a loud, shrieking alarm filled his ears and he seized up in panic. Shit. He glanced back towards the suit and narrowed his eyes, he didn't have time to think about it, he needed to get the hell out of here while he still could. Not caring if the glass pierced his skin, Peter punched right through the glass — he must've gotten some kind of strength because he never would've been able to do that before. Or maybe it was just the adrenaline rushing through him at that moment.

As the blaring alarm continued on, Peter gazed at the armor once more, a more satisfied expression settled on his face. The edges of his lips curled upwards into a grin, and his green eyes were filled with a crazed gleam.

He could work with this. Maybe he should take it for a little test drive…

~~~

The suit was pretty fantastic to say the least. Though the armor was powerful and could deal with a lot of damage, it still felt light on his body and not as heavy as he thought it would've been. The glider had been tricky to figure out at first, but soon enough he was gliding above the skyscrapers in New York like it was nothing. If anything, it was rather a bit like skating, something Peter was very familiar with. All he needed to do was stay on the board and keep his balance, by leaning to the side to steer in each direction and to lean towards or back whenever he wanted to accelerate or go backwards.

His body was still throbbing with pain, but it was barely noticeable now and it was becoming more numb with each passing second. His mind however was still a complete jumble of thoughts, no matter what he did he couldn't clear it out.

However, there was one thought that he caught out of all of the rest.

Long blonde hair, with a star tattooed on his left wrist.

A vivid flash of the person in his mind caused him to clench his teeth in his anger.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips, right, the entire reason why he'd done this to himself in the first place.

Knowing that there'd be no luck finding his target tonight, Peter wondered if he was still even in Manhattan. But he wouldn't give up, not until justice was finally delivered. And then maybe he could deliver the good news to Aunt May. That the man who had ripped their family apart was dealt with, then again, she'd ask questions and Peter wasn't so sure she'd be able to comprehend what had happened to him. Which was why he'd taken all he needed to know about finding something to reverse the effects, including the last remnants of what had been left in the syringe containing the spider's venom.

He'd been lucky to get out of there before security had arrived. No doubt now they'd be trying to figure out who took their high-tech suit and glider, and the venom along with it. Harry would probably have a lot to deal with, Peter felt a twinge of sympathy for his friend, he'd only just gotten back into town two months prior and already he'd have so much to do.

Especially since Norman had died, then again, Norman hadn't exactly been the best person. And he had a feeling that maybe this suit had been for him, after all, Peter knew that Norman had been desperately searching for a way to cure himself of the genetic disease that had slowly been eating him up from the inside for years. Peter was glad that Harry hadn't shown symptoms of it just yet.

He came to a halt at the top of a building near the empire state and he cast his gaze over the city.

He couldn't find the man who had murdered his Uncle alone. Not in a city as big as New York that was for sure. He needed help. Which was something he never thought he'd say. Spider-Man was an option, though the vigilante had only been on the streets for about two months so far and he didn't have such a good reputation with the police — Peter remembered Gwen telling him about her father's frequent rants about him — maybe he could be of some help. He needed to find him and fast.

It seemed that with the transformation his lust for revenge had only increased. He'd become even more desperate to seek out the criminal and put an end to it all. And he would, oh he wouldn't stop until he found that man and made him wish that he'd never been born. Peter swore that he would do whatever it took to ensure he got his revenge, he would kill him—

Usually, such a dark and intrusive thought such as that would have made him cringe in disgust and fear. But now with the venom having changed so much of him he barely felt anything towards these new tainted thoughts. Besides, this man was terrible, a murderer, he deserved it. Peter would not only avenge Ben but also make sure that his murderer would never kill another person again. Killing him was the only way to put a stop to this suffering that Peter was unable to endure anymore.

He'd need help though. He needed Spider-Man's help. His mouth then set into a thin line and his eyes gleamed as he looked down on the streets of Manhattan.

He needed to get the attention of Spider-Man. And he knew just how to do it.

#marvel #the amazing spider man #tasm #tasm au #parksborn #peter parker #harry osborn #spider man #tasm fic #tasm fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #tasm roleswap au

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wordsbyarwen · 1 year

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my top 5 works/chapters of 2022

@ehay has tagged me in this in the past, but i’m the actual #Worst at doing these things no matter how much i want to. But this year i produced a lot of work that i’ve really enjoyed not only writing but also looking back at for a revisit for my own enjoyment. We’re our own worst critics for sure, especially six months after the thing is posted, but some of these resonate with me continuously.

I feel very blessed to be able to continue to produce works not just for myself, but that other people enjoy ^^ Listed chronologically by publication.

1. like a river loves a stone (Rated E, 10,719 words) Kicking it off with the fic that was supposed to be a quick 2k M rated bit and turned into... this. I love the ideas that came out of it though, and the tender playfulness at the end. Canon-divergent rewrite of the bath scene in the beginning of s2 of The Witcher, occuring after my work “stone in your water” but sort of its own little pocket universe. Characters: Tissaia, Yennefer, Sabrina, Triss, Murta Ships: Tissaia/Yennefer, Sabrina/Triss (drive-by, only if you squint)

2. (and you knelt beside) my hope torn apart (Rated G, 2922 words) I wasn’t too thrilled with Yennefer’s return this past season, nor of how she claimed to travel the world trying every remedy in one month. Not the best-executed story (it was written quickly and with no beta for the Witcher Bows and Arrows prompt “home”), but i have a lot of feelings about this take on Tissaia and Yennefer’s reunion. Characters: Tissaia, Yennefer Ships: Yennaia

3. Chapters 2 and 3 of you’ll be an architect, so pull up your sleeves (Rated M, 15,713 words total) Listing this as one entry because the two chapters were supposed to be published one. I’m glad i split them into two though, because i wound up devoting a lot more time to the content in chapter 3 than i intended, and i’m so, so glad i did. I come back to this fic over and over again, and i can definitely say it’s my favorite of those listed here. Follows Yennefer and Tissaia as Tissaia has begun to finally really recover after the events of the Coup. The path to recovery is not easy, and it’s filled with bumps in the road. This one features gentle hand-holding, new clothes, tender touches and, somewhere in the desert, a hidden well. Characters: Tissaia, Yennefer Ships: Yennaia

4. i feel my heart start to tremblin’ whenever you’re around (Rated M, 6618 words) Was this the best executed fic of the year? No. Those 6600 words were written and edited in 2 days and had no beta. Chekhov’s six guns are scattered across the stage. AND YET, this ballroom dance au lived in my head for about 6 months before i wrote it down, and i’m so glad i finally did. A very quick slow-burn, in that it takes place over months but those months go by rather quickly in the fic, and a delightful little romp of a modern AU with a very sexy Tissaia and a very hopeless Yennefer Characters: Tissaia, Yennefer, Triss Ships: Yennaia, Sabrina/Triss (but only mentioned)

5. still your hands an still your heart (all the morning glows anew), chapter 8 (fic rated M, 62024 words, ongoing) It was hard to pick only 5 works, especially only one chapter from this fic, because i’ve had SO much fun writing it, but this first glasshouse tour between Tissaia and Yen in the florist!au is just so much. Yennefer is high-key, Tissaia is stunning, Triss is an angel. There are plants, and tender touches, and misplaced concern and gay floundering. It’s got a lot of the good stuff! And it has STUNNING artwork by ehay right over here! Characters: Tissaia, Yennefer, Triss (Jaskier and Rita feature in other chapters) Ships: Yennaia (bonus Geraskier, Sabrina/Triss, and some not-so-drive-by Rita/Tissaia, not romantic, in other chapters)

Honorable Mention: a tender green is showing (rated G, 2959 words) Another one that may not have been super well-executed, but this one was slammed out and got all of its edits done in 3.5 hours so forgive me. A longer-form version of an au headcanons post about organic farmer Tissaia and chef/cafe owner Yennefer. I loved this silly prompt, so i wanted to give our girls a little more time on the screen, so to speak. A micro-slow-burn if you will. Yennefer is smitten. Tissaia said “pretty sure she’s smitten so i am going to Present Myself Before Her until she takes the hint that i feel the same.” Purely lighthearted fluff.

#2022 faves #ehay #LOOK AT HER ART #fanfic #Yennaia #because of course they're all Yennaia #The Witcher #Netflix The Witcher #Yennefer of Vengerberg #Tissaia de Vries

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taintedsoul-if · 1 year

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Hi hi! Miss Softheartedlady 😆🤗

LOL all of these Trysten/Trista asks makes me sad for my MC

Karma will find its way to Trysten/Trista and Yesenia 😈 I can feel it 👀🤭

Btw, can we have a small theater where we burn these two in our minds, I would love to see that even tho it's only an imagination 😂😈🔥

You mentioned that we can't kill Yesenia then is it possible for Cadmus/Atticus to kill her well... since they're ancient and powerful? 👀 jk but "what if" do you think it's possible? (without the protagonist's halo)

I would love to try all the ROs routes but I can't find myself trying Trysten/Trista route. it's just... I can't handle their personality and how they treat MC and the angst my God 😂🏃‍♀️ tho I love the angst when it comes to Cadmus 🤭 I don't think I can handle these tortures... For me, Trysten/Trista is an example of a big walking red flag 🏃‍♀️🥲🚩🚩🚩🚨

Hi. ☺.

Oh Yes! Karma will be fucking Trysten/Trista a hundred ways into next week!

When Yesenia finds out that the MC is currently seeing someone else, she's going to try to work her charm on the RO the MC is dating. When Yesenia met Atticus for the first time, a few years ago she felt as if a powerful man like that should belong to her. He should kneel at her feet and do her every bidding! Yesenia has tried to enter Atticus mind once, just so that she could rewrite a few of his memories. When Yesenia entered his sea of consciousness, what she saw terrified her to the core. In the dark, a pair of [REDACTED] looked at her. "Next time we'll kill you if you ever attempt to do something like this." An ominous maniacal voice said, from out of the darkness. Yesenia went mad for one day, tormented by images of carnivorous creatures feasting on her body. What she saw that day, nobody knows but ever since then, she keeps herself far far away from Atticus.

Cadmus and Atticus don't even need to raise their hand to deal with such a small fish. Just one command, is all they need. "Die." And Yesenia will be plummeting to her death. So yes and yes it is possible. 👀👀

I love me some Cadmus angst too. He shouted at the MC in chapter1. My heart felt very uncomfortable! I felt myself shed a small drop of tears. I couldn't help wondering why he was so mean to them. Depending on the choices readers choose, it will either raise these stats Romance. Friendship. Resentment. 👀👀.

Tell me about it! I've had someone ask me over and over again why I made them an RO?! I don't like this character one bit. 🙄. ME neither, when I was thinking about this character, I told myself not every RO should have a happy ending. A new soul entered the body, with that being said if a reader decides to go after the life the OH lived in the past, let them experience exactly what the OH experienced in their past life. Because being with Trysten/Trista is an act of betrayal! But still, I am recommending this route, cause I am going all out. Soon there'll be little anons sending in ask in my box, with tears, snot, and blood dripping down their little faces. 🤣😂. I'll probably be on their hate list soon. But I am owning it! *struts around like a peacock.*

Little threatre:

Yesenia: Who?

Trysten/Trista: *trying to free hand* You're quite bold! Whomever you are, let us go and we'll keep our mouths shut about what happened here.

MC: ...... *walks out of the darkness*

Trysten/Trista: MC let us go.

MC: *snorted a laugh* tusk. Tusk. Tusk. Your royal highness, this is what my mother felt like when your royal family cornered her, making her feel as if she had no choice. *aggressively squeeze Trysten/Trista's cheek* did you have fun? Did you have fun sucking the life out of her?

Trysten/Trista: *grits teeth*

MC: I want you and your white lotus to feel what my mother felt in her last moments.

Yesenia: *tensed* wh-what do you mean.

MC: *removes a glowing purple flame from pocket* I got this from an old man, I saved a few months back. He said that this flame is very dangerous, before humans were bestowed the powers of the gods, this was used to torture them. I heard that it's twice as harsh when used on a Phasron. So I kept it, just in case it might come in handy one day.

Trysten/Trista: y-you put that down.

MC: the old man said, first it burns the bones in one's body to ash, then the internal organ, slowly it will melt the skin off their body. 🤔 not sure if he was telling the truth, so let's try it first on Yesenia, and you and I will watch it together. *heart eyes*.

Yesenia: *cries pitifully* your royal highness save me!

********

Alright thank you for the ask and have a wonderful day! Sorry, it took me a bit of time to answer... 👀👀

#Atticus #Cadmus #romance routes #ask #Little threatre

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bearsinpotatosacks · 1 year

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A Smile Through the Clouds

Nick and Ron stumble into Carole's life like a blue sky on a dark day.

5 Times Nick, Ron and Carole bump into each other + 1 Time They Intend to See Each Other

Words: 6501

Afternoon sun peeked over the rows of bookshelves. It hit the trees outside on campus and reflected on the windows of nearby buildings. Soon the sun was sinking below them, then now the horizon, trailing pastel colours as the evening set in.

Ron pulled on his arm as they left the library. It was only the start of the year but Nick was determined to get started early with his studies. They'd spent the few free hours they had together in the library, and were heading off for pizza after a long time of rewriting notes and researching to get ahead on assignments.

"Gimme a second," Nick said, opening his bag. "I've got to return this book."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Nicky, baby, you've already dragged me here for over two hours when it's only the second week of class, I do not want to spend another second here if I have to."

He tried to keep up the vague look of disgust he wore on his face but burst into laughter when Nick batted his eyelashes at him. Letting go of his arm, he told him he'd wait outside and not to take too long before promptly leaving the stuffy library.

There was a short queue at the counter. There was a machine free but some part of him decided today was a good day to actually talk to somone.

And he was glad he did, because the person staffing this station took his breath away. Her hair was short, choppy and platinum blonde, curling around her ears. She smiled as she waved off the previous person, her blue eyes sparkling from the beams of light coming in through the windows and lighting up the dust in the air. A hand-knitted jumper, with flowers on, hung off her arms as she pulled the cuffs over her hands.

"Hi, what can I do for you today?" She said.

And with just a sentence, every thought he'd ever had left his mind. His hands went clammy around the book. He couldn’t remember what he was doing here at all. All he could focus on was the dimples in her cheeks as she smiled.

"Are you okay?" Her brow creased with concern. "Do I need to get someone for you?"

"I-I'm alright."

His eyes flicked down to her name badge. Carole. What a beautiful name. A song he'd happily hum for the rest of time. Dear lord, what was wrong with him? He was with Ron, had been for eighteen months now, was he growing a wandering eye?

"You sure? Your face is all red."

She was right, he realised. His face felt hot. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and sweat forming on his brow.

"Fine, fine, really,"

He tried to give a charming smile but knew it came out goofy. She didn't seem to mind this, giggling at his foolishness. Her laughter made his face burn hotter.

"So, what can I do for ya?"

He jolted awake again, looking down at the book in his hands, that's what he was going to do. How long had he been standing here again? It felt like it had been an eternity. Which meant that Ron had been waiting for a long time too, but turning back to her again made his brain short circuit and all ability to speak was lost.

"I wanted to, erm, return this, erm, book," he slid it over to her on the counter.

"Well, that I can certainly do,"

He laughed again and leant on the counter. He needed the support, his legs had turned to jelly.

"Nick!" Came a shout from the door, followed immediately by a harsh shush. "I told you not to take too long and you've been five minutes."

He felt him come to his side, "How long does it take to return a book-"

Nick pulled his eyes from Carole to look at Ron. He too had frozen but instead of becoming a blubbering mess, his face broke into that charming smile that made his knees go even weaker than they already had. The same damn smile that charmed him the first time they met.

"Hello, I don't think I've had the wonderful opportunity of making your acquaintance," he extended a hand. "I'm Ron, and you are?"

She took it, hiding her blushing face with her other hand, "I'm Carole."

"Like the Christmas song?"

"Yup, like the Christmas song," she nodded. "But with an e on the end."

"Well, Carole with an e, I'm sorry if my boyfriend has been bothering you, he's damn cute but damn annoying too."

Nick, suddenly gaining his autonomy back, elbowed him in the ribs and rolled his eyes.

"I'm funny, not annoying,' he said. "You just have no sense of humour."

"The way he treats me?" Ron joked, looking at Carole again. "Could you be a doll and return that book? We have a pizza date to get to."

Upon being called doll, Carole's face went from a dainty shade of pink to a deep red. Her eyes widened and Ron looked impeccably more proud of himself.

"I can't have you two missing out on pizza," she squeaked out.

She placed the book somewhere underneath the counter and scribbled something down. She looked back up at them with some of the redness from her cheeks gone.

"There we go, have a nice day,"

Ron linked arms with Nick and pulled him upright, "We will, you be sure to have a great day too," he said.

They turned to leave. Nick’s face was still burning. Ron pulled them back at the last minute.

"Oh, and we'll be sure to come back again," he added with a wink.

They turned back to the door, just catching a glimpse of Carole's face rushing red again before they were in the late afternoon air. As they walked further away from the library, Nick grew able to think and speak again. Carole was still on his mind, and by the look on Ron's face as they walked in silence, she was on his too.

"She was the prettiest girl I think I've ever seen," Nick blurted as they left the campus.

"Yeah, she really was," Ron said.

A sheepish smile flicked on his face. It had a light glow to it. It could be from the cold but Nick knew better.

A few days later, on a fresh Monday morning, the peace of the library was once again distributed. Carole was still rubbing sleep from her eyes, while trying not to smudge her eyeliner, when those two silly yet undoubtedly pretty boys glided in, already caught in a whispering argument.

"I'm just saying that all of this could've been avoided if we just gave back the extra coffee," Ron said.

"But it's extra coffee, Ronald," Goose argued.

"Yeah, an extra coffee that we didn't need and are now arguing over,"

They stopped near her desk. A fog filled her brain as they met eyes, and not from fatigue. The book in her hands weighed her down as she followed them, hoping they'd stop to talk.

They'd been on her mind ever since they waltzed into her life. She wanted to see if the glimmer in Nick’s eyes was real and if Ron's smile sparkled or if she'd added them afterwards. Part of her was enamoured with them, maybe developing a crush, but the other was reminding her that Ron said Nick was his boyfriend, and her heart sank.

Breaking through the fog, she met their eyes and something within her cleared. Nick waved at her, dragging Ron with him. Ron still looked disgruntled but some amusement read in his face.

"Hey, Carole," Nick said.

"Hi Nicky,"

She widened her eyes. Nicky? She'd spoken to him once and already had a nickname. Her face flushed and her hands grew clammy.

Nick had frozen. His smile was still on his face. Ron looked from him to her. Annoyance was steadily replaced with humour as he tried not to laugh.

"Sorry, I meant to say-" she started

Nick stopped her, "Nicky," he pondered. "I like that."

She gulped. He lent on the desk with that goofy smile and one hand on his hip. Something fluttered within her. Her brain felt like it was melting. How could two guys turn her brain to mush? Yet, just as she threatened to zone out completely, Ron slammed down three coffee cups, breaking her brain fog.

"Maybe you can solve our dilemma," he said. "We got coffee to go, but the barista got our orders mixed up and now we have an extra cappuccino that we have no idea what to do with."

She flicked between the coffee, Ron and Nick. Nick’s face was still shining that goofy smile but his eyes made him seem like he was in a trance. By the way Ron's brow was furrowed, he made it seem like this coffee dilemma was life or death.

"Well, I like cappuccinos," she said simply.

They both darted up like they'd never considered that to be an option. Ron picked up the cup and raised an eyebrow at Nick. They nodded. Silent communication through a look. She wished she was part of that.

"Okay, then," he slid the coffee across the counter and winked. "Enjoy your coffee, babygirl."

Her face flushed warm again, "I-I will," she squeaked.

"It really is great coffee," Nick said

He pushed off the counter, giving her a brief wave as she collected herself for the next person. Those silly boys, making her a blushing mess.

She took a sip of coffee. It was good.

It was a sweet day, the sun glimmered on the grass as she walked past the park. Another day, another shift. She did like her job as a library assistant, it helped her with her studies. Plenty of books surrounding her and people to help.

Nick and Ron made the days easier too. They'd fallen into some sort of routine after a few weeks of flirting. They came in in the afternoon most days, studied together before hurrying off somewhere else. They'd also gotten used to bringing her coffee and would somehow find her in the labyrinth of shelves just to deliver it.

Caught in her own world, something hit her ankle and broke her out of it. She looked down and saw an orange, slightly dirty, basketball. Then the slapping sound of shoes on concrete came towards her and her breath was taken away.

Nick and Ron, both sweaty, panting and glittering in the sunlight. Nick wore a muscle tee, a vibrant print on the front, with shorts that were just short enough to show a bit more of his long legs. Ron was topless, in baggy shorts, his chiselled chest heaving as he got his breath back.

"Hey Carole," Nick said. "You got our ball."

She gulped, breaking herself out of the lust filled trance she was in to hand him back the ball. Nick grinned at her, holding it under his arm and slouching where he stood.

"You're playing basketball, then?" She asked.

Ron nodded, still getting his breath back, "Yeah, Nick’s shirts, I'm skins."

A bead of sweat rolled from his neck and over one of his pectoral muscles. The sheen of sweat he was covered in danced in the sunlight as he moved.

Forcing her eyes from his bulging muscles, she laughed weakly to herself, "You're not on the same team?"

"Nah, me and Pete are too damn good for us not to play together," Nick waved at a shorter guy on the basketball court. "That's him, my flatmate."

"And that other guy? With the frosted tips?"

Ron stood up fully, "Oh that's Tom, my roommate, we are also a great team, arguably better than Nick’s."

Nick squinted at him, "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Kerner."

"I will, Bradshaw."

They stared for a few moments longer. Carole had to fight not to go into a trance and just ogle them some more. It was an interesting battle. One side of her wanted to desperately take in every detail, breathe them, and their long legs, stupidly good hair and charming smiles, in. The other wanted to be aware of every moment, she didn't want to miss a thing.

"Wait," she said as her eyes fell on Tom in the background. "He looks familiar."

"Who? Tom?"

She nodded. Even though his face was blurry in the background, something about him sparked recollection in her mind.

Then it hit her, "Oh, he’s in my book club!"

They looked from Tom and back to her. She couldn't stop the small smile on her face.

"Huh," Nick said after a few moments. "I guess we have more in common than I thought."

She nodded. Her shift was going to start soon, she couldn’t be late even if the thought of watching those two competitively play basketball was deliciously enticing.

"Goose! Come on, man, stop flirting!" Pete called from the court.

He scratched the back of his head, "I guess that's our cue to go,"

"I should too, don't want to be late," she said. "But I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Ron nodded furiously, "Course, we have that assignment-"

He looked at Nick. Nick didn't pick up on what he was inferring. He elbowed him in the ribs, getting a slight 'ow' before he clocked on.

"Oh! That assignment, I remember now," he winked at Ron, who facepalmed with a sigh. "We'll probably be there for hours."

"Oh, hours, huh?"

"Yeah, so you'll see plenty of us,"

"I'll look forward to it,"

She winked at them and sauntered off. Today was going to be a very good day now she had the images of them in her mind.

Carole left the library with a hesitant step. She peered up at the thick grey clouds above and held out a hand. Weighty rain drops splashed on her hand. There was a storm brewing, and she had no umbrella and no coat. That was the dread of autumn, the weather became unpredictable.

Perhaps she could use her bag and run? Or maybe just suck it up and walk in the rain. She shivered at the latter option.

She frowned. Today hadn't been the best day either. Her lecturer had been late, for a start. The assignment she'd worked so hard on, declining going out with friends and becoming so stuck in her books she had started to taste the words, had the date extended so she didn't need to put in all that effort over three days.

Her shift at the library hadn't been much better. A few of the library's patrons were beyond rude to her, with one particularly mean person making her shed a few tears as she returned books to the shelves deep in the library. People complained about the noise and the amount of people as if she could click her fingers and make them all disappear.

And worse of all, there had been no sign of Nick and Ron. She hadn't seen them since they came in after their basketball game. She hadn't realised how much they made her day until she hadn't seen them in a few days.

With a huff, she walked out into the dreary weather. All she wanted was to curl up at home in the warmth, but it was a long walk to get there.

In her own little world, she didn't hear two people calling her name but let out a yelp when her two giants were suddenly by her side.

"Hey, Carole," Nick said. "Want to share our umbrella?"

She grinned and felt a wave of relief when the rain stopped hitting her head. The darkish walk home didn't seem so daunting now she had company.

"Where are you two going in this weather?" She asked.

"Volleyball practice," Ron said.

"Volleyball? I thought you played basketball?"

He shook his head, "That was just for fun, this is serious."

His face was stone cold for a second but softened at her confusion. His hand made its way to her lower back as they hurried on in the rain. Nick’s joined too. It could be seen as possessive, or overstepping a boundary, but she trusted them. This felt protective, warm and cosy. Two tall men surrounding her made her knees go weak.

She came to a fork in the road. She was going right, off campus and away to her apartment. They'd be going left, the sports buildings were a good ten minutes away.

"I'm going this way," she pointed down the road.

They withdrew their hands and the brief reprieve in the gloom of the day ended. She still had to walk home in the rain, without them to keep her company.

"Good luck at your practice," she said and began to walk away.

As the first drops fell on her head again, she deflated and hunched over as she walked. Her arms hugged her lithe frame.

"Wait!" Nick called, running after her. "You'll need this."

He handed her their umbrella. His hair began to plaster against his head as his smile shone sun through the grey clouds.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded vigorously, "Of course, we'll need to get changed anyway."

Her hand gripped the handle of the umbrella as Nick’s smile spread to her. She glanced at Ron who looked miserable in the rain but proud of Nick. He reminded her of a wet kitten.

"Get home safe," he called through the weather.

"I will, thanks for the umbrella."

She waved as they separated. Their figures getting smaller as her hope that this crush could be reciprocated grew larger.

Ron huffed and lent back on his chair. This library was too quiet. He could hear a clock ticking in the background. Rustling paper and the sighs of the other students made it too hard to concentrate. He was sick of his music too, it was too loud and exciting, and anything slower just put him to sleep.

The words on the page all blended together into a sea of black ink. His brain felt dry, like mush. He couldn’t concentrate on his equations anymore.

Nick’s face was almost pressed to the page. Concentration was laced on his face. He'd been stuck on that problem for a while and had finally figured it out. But this also meant that now he was on a roll, he probably didn't want to be disturbed.

That didn't mean Ron wasn't bored, though.

"How you doing with your problem?" He asked.

Nick didn't look up from the page, "Good, halfway through."

Ron hummed and leant forward again so the front two legs of the chair smacked against the floor. He clicked his pen on, then off and on until he was doing it on a reflex.

Nick’s head rose up from his page. His brow was furrowed and his moustache twitched.

Ron put the pen down, "Sorry."

Nick returned to busily scratching on the page. Ron's gaze drifted to someone scrunched up on an armchair. Their face was covered by a large book, the title of which he couldn't make out.

He could never understand how someone could get so engrossed in a book. There were no pictures, so many words which left everything up to too much interpretation. He just couldn’t focus on one, couldn't settle down long enough to fully lose himself in a novel.

Boredom kicked back in quickly. He lay his head on his books and groaned.

Nick’s left hand rested on the desk next to him. Ron stroked the back of it, the protruding knuckles and bumpy veins. His foot rubbed his. He ran his foot up his calf. Perhaps they could call all this studying a day and go back to his place to have some real fun. Tom would be out, they'd have the place to themselves, for once.

Nick pulled his hand away, "Why don't you take a break for a second? Maybe get me a coffee," he then added while batting his eyelashes. "Please."

He smiled, holding back the itch to get back to work. Ron lifted his hand to his lips and got up. His chair screeched across the floor and made some heads turn his way.

They were on the second floor. It was a mezzanine floor, with a glass railing that overlooked the rows of pine bookshelves that matched the pine panelling on the walls. The help desk was circular, and a familiar crop of blonde hair near the front and suddenly he wasn't bored.

Hopping down the stairs, he almost ran to talk to her. There was a queue when he got there, not too long but enough to agitate him. He tapped his foot, trying to keep a hold of the excitement he felt when he saw her.

They met eyes as he stretched to look at her. She beamed at him, holding up one finger to say 'I won't be long'. Once he reached the front, he lent on the counter and sighed.

"Hey, Ron, how can I help?" She said.

"Well, I'm looking for a book," he replied nonchalantly.

"I may be able to help you with that."

He tilted his head, his smile coy, "Do you have any books on charming pretty girls?"

She opened and closed her mouth. A rosy tint glowed within her face.

"I-I don't think we have any books on that," she stammered. "But I think I could give you some tips."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Like what, then?"

She laughed, "Well, calling girls you like pretty is a start."

"Noted," he said with a smirk. "What else?"

"Getting them coffee, giving them your umbrella, walking with them in the rain,"

Part of him tingled. This meant she liked them, right? He hoped so. He and Nick had spent a few nights pining over her. Sometimes drunk, sometimes sober.

"Flowers are a good shot," she traced a line across the table. "Going out for drinks could be a good idea."

He lent closer. Their foreheads almost touched. The air tingled around them as the world seemed to stop turning.

"Drinks do sound good. You free Friday?"

She looked away, faking pondering her calender, "Yes, I suppose I am, what time were you thinking, and where?"

"Say eight, at the O-Club in town?"

She giggled, "It's a date."

He took her hand and kissed it. Her face grew more red. The blues of her eyes sparkled, flashing deep colours as she froze.

"That it is, babygirl."

He winked and walked away, hopping back up the stairs. Nick's head darted up expectantly.

"No coffee," he pouted.

Ron slammed his hands on the desk. His blood was racing. A smile he couldn't shake was plastered on his face.

"Coffee doesn't matter," he said. "We have a date."

Nighttime was ready in the air. Stars blinked as bright as they could through the lights of the city. Cars bustled past as she hurried to the O-Club.

The O-Club was the new hip bar in town. It was just close enough to campus that students were often its patrons but not too close that it was considered a student bar. She had no idea what the 'O' meant in O-Club meant, either. All she knew was that their music was good and their cocktails were fire.

Approaching the bar, she saw two familiar figures hanging around outside the doors. Nick was wearing an even more vibrant shirt than he usually did. His moustache was combed and shoes spotless. Ron wore a baggy muscle tee with a band logo she didn't recognise underneath a shiny leather jacket, with jeans and chunky boots.

She waved at them and quickened her pace, her shoes clip-clopping as she ran to them. Her heart began to race. They looked so good, good enough to eat.

"Hi," she said, slightly out of breath.

"Hi," Nick replied. "We got you some flowers."

He handed her a medium sized bouquet of roses. The thorns had been clipped off so she could hold them safely in her hand.

"You do like roses, don't you?" Ron asked.

He scratched the back of his neck and looked away. He'd never seemed sheepish before. There was a confident security about him that she liked. Coupled with Nick’s bubblegum attitude, she felt drawn to the security they exuded.

She sniffed them, "I love them, thank you."

"Should we go in, then?" Nick said.

She nodded and felt his hand on her lower back. Ron's arm lay casually across her shoulders as they guided her to the door. It made her feel deliciously secure.

Blue lighting made it hard to see at first but, once her eyes adjusted slightly, she saw the hustle and bustle of people. The bar was full of people ordering, the stools full of people shouting over the music. Bartenders swung bottles around and poured out cocktails. Tables grew emptier the further from the dancefloor they got. Two people were butchering Greased Lighting on karaoke.

They spotted a free table far off and made their way there. She sat with her back to the wall so she could see the whole room.

"So-" she started, picking up the drinks menu. "How's both of your days' been?"

Nick peaked over her shoulder, resting his chin there, "Good, had two lectures this morning, studied for a bit at home, went to Volleyball practice and did some piano lessons."

She spiked up. He jolted up too, rubbing his jaw from where she'd knocked him from her shoulder.

"You play the piano?" She asked.

Ron, who'd been scanning the menu while stealing glances at them, spoke up, "Just wait until he's had a bit to drink, he'll find a piano and will take requests."

She looked at Nick. He had a proud smile that made her want to squish him. She wanted to squish both of them, hold them in the night, show them she loved them.

"I do love a good sing song," she said. "And playing piano must make you good with your fingers."

His eyes widened with his smile. A cheeky glint sparkled in his brown eyes.

"We'll have to find out."

She inched her face closer to him. His lips looked plump and the urge to kiss him grew stronger.

"That we will."

Ron rolled his eyes and slid closer to her, breaking her out of her spell, "How's your day been?"

She turned to him and saw how close he was. His teeth were shiny under the blue light. The whites of his eyes popped and glittered as his head moved.

"Good, went to a lecture, studied, went to my shift at the library, put books away, answered questions, looked up said questions, organised book clubs and meetups, did some paperwork, the usual," she said, then added, giggling to herself. "Thinking of tonight helped, though, thinking of you too always gets me through, seeing you two is even better."

Nick sat closer to her back. She was surrounded by them and could smell their aftershave mixing together in the air. But, her excitement grew over her urge to fall into them with hooded eyes.

"I guess I've got to ask you the usual questions for a date," she said as she tried to get the attention of one of the waiting staff.

"What are the usual questions?" Ron asked.

"Oh, you know, family, work, exes, agonising trauma that you play off for laughs, childhood, the usual,"

He raised an eyebrow, "What was that?"

"Childhood?"

"No-" he furrowed his brow. "That other one, the trauma one?"

She giggled and smiled at the waitress as she approached their table. For a second, she saw both of the boys zone out. Nick let out a slow smile and Ron halted in his confusion.

"I was just messing with you," she scanned the menu again. "Trauma sharing's a second date activity."

Ron was left gaping his mouth like a fish. She saw him mouth 'Touché' to himself as she pondered whether to have a pornstar martini or a piña colada.

"Hello, welcome to the O-Club, what drinks can I get you today?" The waitress said in a fake gleeful voice.

Carole held a finger on the menu, "I will have-" she took a moment to think. "A pornstar martini, please."

"Ooo, me too, I'll have one of those," Nick said.

They looked over to Ron. Nick had rested his head on her shoulder again. He hadn't stopped smiling since she'd got here. It made her heart flutter, and by the look on Ron's face, it made his heart miss a beat too.

"I'll just have a budweiser,"

The waitress nodded and walked away. They watched her go before Nick started booing him.

"You're no fun sometimes Ronnie."

"I'm plenty fun, just don't like over expensive, sugar-loaded drinks,"

"They're not that expensive," Nick rolled his eyes. "Plus I like the taste, so-"

He stuck his tongue out. Ron gave up on his argument, instead picking up his hand and laying a kiss on the knuckles. Nick’s face blew up red. Carole's stomach churned. This was a private moment, one she didn't feel qualified to be a part of. Yet, she was. They had invited her and it made her feel glorious.

Nick shook his head to try and stop himself from being too flustered. He turned back to Carole. His eyes were sparkly.

"So, we were going to talk about family?"

"Oh! Yeah." She sat up and back. "Well, I was born in Texas, a middle-sized town, I'm a middle child, got an older sister who's way more mature than I am and a younger brother that's way less, I moved here for college just so I could get a chance to go somewhere else other than home."

Their drinks arrived. Ron handed over the money, with a decent tip, and turned back to her.

Carole looked at Nick, "What about you?"

"Not much different, grew up in Tennessee, church choir, little cherub of a child," he said. "I've got a younger sister, a mom-"

He paused and swirled his drink, "-and a dad."

There was a confusing look all over his face. She couldn't read it. But by how serious it was, she daren't ask.

"He, er, he died when I was thirteen, we weren't on the best terms before he died so it's a bit complicated,"

She placed her hand on his and squeezed it. Glancing under the table, she saw Ron pat his thigh. He smiled and took a long sip of his drink. Some of the egg whites from the cocktail got caught in his moustache.

"Ron doesn't have a good relationship with his dad either,"

He scoffed, "I haven't got any relationship with my dad, he's a piece of shit who walked out on me, my mom and my four sisters over and over again, and after he knees your mom in the stomach while she's pregnant with your baby sister you don't forgive very easily."

She gripped his hand too. Her relationship with her dad was pretty good. He was a bit protective, and would surely have something to say about her dating two guys, but she knew he just wanted the best for her.

"That sounds horrible, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologise to me, he never hurt me,"

Nick scooched them closer, "Not physically."

Ron sniffed and took a long swig of his beer. Beads of condensation dripped down the bottle, his hands were slick from it.

"Anyway, didn't we say trauma sharing was a second date thing."

She laughed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, "Yeah, we did, didn't we?"

The bar got more and more full. Karaoke had ended and music started pounding as people collected on the dance floor. She hummed one of the songs and took a sip of her drink, a great choice.

After a moment of silence, mainly of her taking advantage of her perfect view of both of the boys, the conversation started up again.

"What are your majors, then?" She asked.

"Me and Ronnie both do physics, we met because he asked me for a pen, we got talking about notes, told me about Volleyball tryouts, and we just hit it off from there." Nick said. "What about you?"

"Literature,"

"It must help to work in a library, then," he retorted.

"Yeah, you'd think so, but it's a lot more organising and developing a thick skin from rude patrons than reading books," she said, then added. "That's why I like my book club."

"Oh yeah-" Ron pointed a finger at her. "I mentioned you to Tom and he does know you."

"I'd hope so, we talk about books a lot."

"Yeah, he gave me well wishes, even told me not to break your heart, so I think he likes you too."

Tom was a sweet guy. He seemed strict and uptight but if you tried hard enough then you'd get to his mushy centre. He listened when she talked and got sparklingly excited when she liked the same part of a book as her.

"You know what, I would never look at Tom and think he's a book club kind of guy-" Nick said.

He mainly spoke to Ron as she started to focus on the hazy song in the background. It was new and played a lot on the radio. When she realised what the song was, she almost threw her glass across the room.

"-looks can be deceiving, Nicky, I mean with that moustache you could be assumed to be a pornstar-" Ron said but she interrupted.

"Oh, my god, I love this song!" She slammed her hands on theirs, breaking up their conversation. "We have to dance!"

She began to shuffle up the chair, pushing Nick along as he went to finish his drink. He slid off and pulled her up in one swift motion.

"I'm always up for dancing,"

She smiled at him. His hands were so warm, slightly wet from the condensation of the glass. She could see the muscles in his forearms as he held her. Her heart beat quicker. They turned to look at Ron.

"I'm not one for dancing," he said simply.

"We're not taking no for an answer here, Ronnie," she insisted, turning her back to Nick and letting his arms thread around her waist.

"It's still no."

"Fine, but don't blame us for taking drastic measures."

She pulled Nick forward and held onto one of Ron's hands. Nick took the other and with one look, they heaved Ron upright.

He gave a disgruntled look but Carole just giggled. They didn’t let go of his hand as they ran down the steps and onto the dance floor. Not as the song changed and they grew closer and closer. Not as they kissed each other under the multicoloured lights.

~~~

After hours of dancing and drinking on a sweaty dance floor, the nighttime air was crisp and sharp against her skin. She wished she'd brought a jacket as she rubbed her goosebump-covered arms.

Ron must have picked up, as he took off his leather jacket and placed it on her shoulders. He did end up enjoying their dancing. Maybe he just hadn't had the right partners before. He'd complained throughout that the music choice was shit, he liked rock and metal, yet he continued to dance to the high beat pop playing on the speakers.

"Well, thanks for a good night," she said, clutching the smooth leather of the jacket close to her body. "Are you sure you don't want this back? I don't want you to lose such a good jacket?"

He and Nick looked at each other, then at her. Apparently she said something a bit dim, by the look on their faces.

"We're going to walk you home," Nick said.

"Really?"

She didn't try to hide the way her face froze. They made her feel glittery and golden. She had to admit that the walk home seemed slightly menacing at half one in the morning.

"Can't have you walking alone in the dark, not at this time."

He linked arms with her as Ron threw an arm around her shoulder, "Show is the way, m'lady."

The walk home was easier with them, she thought. Her head was drifting just enough that she couldn't quite catch the conversation in full. She was content just watching them talk as they walked past various shops and apartment buildings until they stopped at her's.

Her heart dropped lower and lower as they staggered up the stairs. She’d never hated seeing her door more than she did right now. She didn't want tonight to end. This was the best first date she’d ever been on.

Despite her lowering heart, she fumbled around in her bag for her keys. Part of her was aware that it was half one in the morning and almost everyone else was sleeping. The other just wanted to find her keys no matter how much noise she made.

"Aha!" She exclaimed.

The keys jingled as she put them in the lock. Her apartment was dark, a grey and blue hue throughout the hallway as she huffed. This is where it ended then.

"Thank you for a wonderful night," she said. "I really enjoyed it."

Nick shuffled his foot. Looking down, he smiled up at her through his eyelashes.

"I did too,"

"Yeah, me too," added Ron.

"Get home safe, yeah?" She added. "I kind of wanted to see you again so you two dying would ruin that."

Nick chuckled. He stroked her arm, her breath caught in her throat. Her body thrummed with want. She gulped as images of them tangled together, soft gasps filling the air. Something below, beneath her shorter than usual dress, tingled. Maybe tonight didn't have to end now?

"Well, we, too, would like to see you again," he turned to Ron. "Wouldn't we?"

He nodded vigorously, "Of course, babygirl."

Her flushing face blushed stronger. She wanted him to call her that again. She wanted Nick to touch her on more than just her arm.

"We'll have to arrange something," Rom said.

"Yeah," she choked out.

"We'll probably see you around at the library, then."

She nodded, but the idea of not seeing them until next week made her mood sink lower. They looked away from each other, the night turning cold around them.

"I'll go inside, then." She said. "Have a good night."

Reluctantly, she turned around and made her way inside. Her hand lingered on the door as an idea came into her head. She pondered it for a moment before pushing it open a tad and continuing to sonter down the hall.

When she didn't hear footsteps, she turned around to see them standing confused on the threshold. She played it coy. Batted her eyelashes and grinned smally.

"You coming?"

She turned back around. Their footsteps weren't far behind.

I have been writing this for so long. I have a goal to write some slooserole for every trope if I can help it. I think my original fic was the first on AO3 and I want to have more for them so will write it, it just may take me some time.

I would also like to point out that I guess Ron is a nice Gaston. I added the 'there's no pictures' line when he's talking about books on purpose. Also, I pondered whether to make this still in the 80s or a modern au. What made me make it modern is just that I didn't want to have to think about 80s homophobia when it came to Ron and Nick and society being even more against poly relationships then too.

Thank you for reading 😁

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forestfragments · 3 months

Text

A Lost Letter

I feel like there are universes lodged within my chest cavity. They are alive, pulsating and breathing like

a hidden sparrow

a crumbling of the old kind

a darkness that has teeth.

My mind is caught in an endless labyrinth of paths leading across the entire expanse of time. Memories come and go like the tides. Sometimes they bring the warmth of another age and they feed me spoonfuls of something that tastes like the sweetness of the first flower in spring. But sometimes they carry knives, in all shapes and sizes, and carve every lost moment into my bones and it burns and burns and burns.

How do you hold the knowledge that you can never return?

How do you embrace all the decisions that you cannot understand anymore?

The unspoken confessions?

The moments where you could have reached for someone but hesitated for reasons that are not tangible anymore?

It's a strange sensation to never recognize the person you were yesterday, a few months ago, a year ago. Why did she say all these words and in that manner? Where did she get them from? What was happening to her?

More painful still to wish you could go back and change it all. A deep longing that seeps through all the fibers. A profoundly human experience, I suppose. But what do I know about the human experience?

What I mean to say is:

these are the only hands I have.

These are the only hands I have and it is breaking my heart.

I find myself dreaming about another universe where my body is a different one, where the pain is not a cage I'm building around myself. A universe where I can let go of all the layers and layers of hurt and twisted emotions that are somehow obscuring the stars of my skin.

I want to be brave and I want to carry the sword as if it truly belonged to me. I want to be the kind of being who gives others back the lost threads of their stories.

Perhaps I could have brought the sun to someone who needed it. I wanted so desperately to turn this into a fairytale, to rip my heart out and hand it to you so that you can feel how it was revived by you and how I saw entire realms inside your words. And I don't know where I went wrong, but it slipped from my fingers and it all fell into shadows somehow. We were not in this other universe, we were in this one and here I'm still fragile and haunted and my voice doesn't always follow me, and even though I tried so hard to grow into a steady oak, it was not what was needed. It seemed as though it was only alive in dreams and stories, the place where it all began, but it fell apart upon touching the fabric of this reality. I wish it didn't, I truly do, and I'm sorry for my part in it and for the wounds I caused. If I had the ink, I would rewrite it into another tale, I would spin a web of dreams where we can hold each other how we were meant to. None of these words can turn it around, of course, and here is where the memories carrying their knives come in again. A part of me will forever wish it had been different. A part of me will always belong to our story. But I cannot change it, I cannot change it even though my dreams refuse to believe it. They are still holding on and I don't know yet how I can teach them to open their fists.

And so, the only thing I can do now is to take my own hands as they are and to hold them gently instead of tearing them off. Because where would that lead me? Eternally drowning in long-gone questions as I've always been doing? I have to drag myself out of this eclipse even though I'm nothing but a screaming, scratching, wailing creature these days. I have to grab myself by the shoulders and say,

"Listen, I know I cannot withstand this. I know I want to let myself tumble into the abyss. But I cannot allow it, not yet. There is still a heartbeat singing in me and there are still riddles to unravel. There is still the faint promise of days drenched in light. They belonged to me once, and perhaps they might belong to me again. Even though the pain envelops me right now, I can learn to shed it fragment by fragment. I may not see it right now, but I must believe in it anyway because I have no other choice. I owe it to the child that still rests deep within the oceans of my mind. She was not made for this world, but she still deserves to experience always yet another sunrise."

So I will have to stumble onwards, always onwards. I have no way of knowing how far I will make it and the universes within me are always growing heavier.

I hope amongst them is one where I see you not only in my dreams, where magic has found us and we fly amidst crows and run with the foxes in bodies that feel true to our souls. I hope you have all the love you deserve there and I hope it can untangle the roots of pain you carry. I hope you find it in this universe as well. I hope you are protected by an ever-glowing moon and a canopy of autumn leaves.

I keep it all within me, in the garden I told you about. Perhaps we can meet there, some day, in another dimension, when it has all transformed again.

I will leave the gate open, just in case.

#poetry #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #writing #emotions #heartbreak #love letters

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jamespotterthefirst · 3 years

Text

Prologue (OHTY)

Open Heart: Third Year Rewrite

Book: Open Heart, Book 3 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Words: 1K Premise: A new year, a new relationship, and a new Edenbrook. Will everything go as smoothly as they had planned?

Author’s Note: That summary sucks but this is my OHTY rewrite. I plan to make it dramatic. And angsty af. Here we go! Hope you like it.

Prologue: His Beloved

Caroline's eyes roamed the cavernous space, taking in the upgrades with something akin to wonder. Even from afar, he could see that sparkle in her eyes, the curiosity that was ever present whenever she beheld his newest innovation. It was enough to inspire anyone to conquer the world itself.

Now more than ever, something burned in his stomach: The urge to hold her. The despair and rage at being unable to.

As the seconds ticked by, his wife remained silent, nodding and humming here and there. Her soft, expressive brown eyes fell on the new kiosk at the reception desk and she quietly chuckled. A delicate, gloved hand hovered over the gleaming surface, almost as if she was afraid to touch it.

“These are the same ones I suggested for the Princeton tech lab.”

With the words, came a memory, unfurling before Leland's mind like a heavy mist. Their last trip to Paris, gazing at the Eiffel Tower from the patio of a small but elegant café. Caroline's hand in his from across the table as they talked about the Princeton project, her smile far more beautiful than the whole city in Springtime.

“You thought of everything, my love.” Her eyes met his with such sadness, he was certain she remembered too.

“We will be the prime research facility on the East Coast by the time we're done with the renovations,” he told her, willing her to understand he was doing everything to remedy their situation.

At this, her smile turned genuine, shining with pride. “You're going to help so many people.”

Leland almost scoffed. He didn't give a damn about other people.

Before he could blurt out the bitter words, however, Arthur, his driver, approached with a single nod at Caroline. She sighed, returning her gaze to Leland.

“I must go if I am to board the train on time.”

“If you miss it, you can always just take the jet. It's much faster and comfortable anyway.”

Her soft laugh was the best thing he'd heard all day.

“You know me, my love. I will enjoy the view of the countryside any opportunity I get.” And this time, when she paused, there was undeniable misery in the way her eyes shone. “Plus, you know I'm a nostalgic old woman. Train travel will always have a special place in my heart.”

They had met on a train for the first time many years ago.

The words hurt more than the prospect of not seeing his wife for months. They had mutually decided that time in the serene seaside town of York would be beneficial for her. Rather, Caroline, unable to bear their forced distance much longer without breaking down into tears, decided this was the best temporary solution.

“Shall I wait outside?” Arthur asked politely.

With a start, Caroline seemed to wake from a reverie. “I'll be right out, Arthur.”

After the driver disappeared through the glass doors, Caroline turned to Leland, her body almost quivering with the restraint of keeping its distance. Instead of the customary kiss and hug goodbye, they simply gazed at one another, Caroline with palpable despair, Leland with renewed determination.

“Goodbye, my love,” she murmured, the sound almost lost in the hubbub of the atrium.

Leland heard it, though, as loud and final as the clashing of iron bells.

“Goodbye, Caroline.”

Before long, she turned on her heel and walked out the doors with as much dignity as a broken heart allowed.

Leland, meanwhile, remained fixed to the spot, watching her go. The pain of his own suffering was muted by the fierce rush of conviction. The determination to find a cure was the last tether holding him to sanity.

Before he could move or even think about anything else, a note of delighted laughter echoed nearby. His eyes fell on a couple, traversing through the atrium hand in hand. The lively brunette gazed up at the tall and seemingly brooding man, her eyes sparkling with adoration. When the man finally submitted to her teasing , it was clear that he, too, was completely besotted by her.

“... not a hospital. More like an Apple store,” she was saying.

“What the hell is an Apple store?”

“Oh, that's right. You're a sworn Android user, I forgot.”

Ethan Ramsey rolled his eyes.

“They're phones, Lilac. The rivalry between the two is absurd when people use them equally to waste their lives away.”

This time, it was Lilac Allende who rolled her eyes, but not without a loving smile. “You're such a senior citizen sometimes.”

Ethan halted his steps at that proclamation, tugging at their joined hands and pulling her close to him. Lilac's small cry of surprise melted into one of knowing amusement under the intensity of his roguish smile. Without much preamble, he leaned in and whispered something that made her both blush and nod, impressed.

“You're an incorrigible flirt, Ethan Ramsey,” she tried to admonish, but the effect was tarnished by how pleased she sounded.

Ethan, undeterred, murmured something else into her ear. With a very serious expression, he pulled back to look into her face. There was no humor left in their expressions as they gazed at one another, only pure longing and affection. Then, he held the tip of her chin in gentle fingers, like the most delicate of songbirds, leaned in and kissed her.

Leland glanced away, unwilling to accept there could be love and affection in the world. Teeth clenched, his eyes returned to the couple before he could avoid it. It was almost as if they were flaunting their romance for everyone, including Leland, to see.

They couldn't do anything for Caroline and now they taunted him.

The bitter burn of jealousy and rage pumped through his veins like a poison with every beat of his heart.

That the two doctors could touch and love so unabashedly was…unacceptable.

“Have a good day,” Lilac whispered to her beloved before moving away.

Their hands were still clasped and Ethan seemed unable to let her go. He tugged her again and Lilac looked at him curiously. The man looked on the verge of saying something, his throat working in the small pause. Then, appearing to change his mind, he kissed her forehead instead.

Ethan Ramsey didn't have to say a goddamn thing for Leland to know. Leland had looked at his Caroline the same way before uttering the three words.

Love.

Ethan was in love with her.

The solution struck Leland with such intensity that he remained immobile. It was so simple, he felt like a fool for not having thought of it before. At last, he knew of a surefire way to secure Caroline's cure.

“Sir?” His assistant, Parker, enquired when Leland silently beckoned.

“Have Ethan Ramsey meet me in my office this afternoon,” he commanded simply. “Make it clear the meeting is not optional.”

***

Author’s Note: The following chapters will be longer! I won’t have a posting schedule. I think I’ll just post these bad boys as they’re ready. Approximately weekly? Thank you so much for reading this far!

As a side note, this will be Ethan x MC centric. I will try to include other characters but I can’t promise you much. Also, I’ve kept some things from the original mess that is book 3, but the overall plot will differ. (Hey crazy idea but if any of my mutuals wants to write for other characters, hit me up?)

Chapter 1 coming soon!

*Tagging in a reblog*

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #playchoices #My writing

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zeldas-cigarrette · 3 years

Text

⊱┊𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃

— pairing; ⚢donna sheridan x fem!reader

— word count; 3.3k

— summary; Sophie organised an afternoon of speed dating for her mother. You happened to be a customer at the certain restaurant it took place, and it seemed as if Donna was more interested in you than in all the guys that came for her. (lots of fluff because I can’t bring myself to write smut atm. ) xx

— fluff 🍰₊˚.༄ ೃ -

—❥ author’s note; My obsession with Meryl Streep keeps me sane during all those exams I have atm… Again, I’m so sorry for not posting my requests but I tried finishing them all but when I read them again they were so insanely bad, I can’t upload them… I will rewrite them probably next weekend (if I have enough time). But thanks for sticking around although I’m not as active (which will change in a few weeks, when I’ve finished my finals).

..⃗.🕊•̩̩͙⁺⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈ ꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ✧˖*°࿐

🏷 tag list; @paulawand , @pearplate

The sun was already burning down when Donna found out about her daughter's plans for the afternoon. Apparently, Sophie decided to host a speed dating for her mother in some restaurant on the island. She wasn’t interested in the first place but for the sake of her daughter, Donna decided to give it a try - maybe she’ll find the love of her life? It wasn’t until both mother and daughter arrived at the chosen restaurant when the older woman started worrying about what’s to come behind those doors. The few birds that gathered on the windowsill started chirping as if they were trying to warn her, „don’t go in!” but it seemed too late for that. „I don’t know if this is the right thing Soph,” Donna lurked through the window, seeing a couple of older guys waiting eagerly for someone to entertain them. „It’s gonna be fun Mum, just let it happen,” and with the huge smile spread over the young girl's face, she pushed the door open. Quickly the smell of food surrounded both women.

Only a couple of women were interested in dating as well, everyone was already sat on separate tables only waiting for the main host to start the thing. On the first look, none of these men caught her eye, none of them looked attractive. However, who was she to judge? Said and done, Donna took a seat opposite of a man with full fair hair and glasses. The two minutes started in which they were supposed to get to know each other.

You were sat in the corner of the restaurant, observing the show you were offered from afar. The people, including the owner, were making a fuss about the speed dating someone had arranged. You had moved to the island just a couple of months ago and though such things as speed dating were a pretty common thing in England, it seemed to be hardly a thing around here. Chewing on a shrimp, you wanted to hold back the laughter when you saw the angelic-looking woman’s face when one of the guys seemingly told her an interesting fact about him. She didn’t look very happy with the selection of men. Luckily you had an amazing view of the ocean and you could watch the sun gleaming on the water.

For every passing minute, Donna regretted the decision she made. The first guy was as dull as his name, Tom had 15 cats. He told her a story of when a few of his cats got sick and vomited in his flat. It was a full-on ramble for two minutes not letting his opponent get to word for once. Donna wasn’t sure if she had control of her face, but if she wasn’t at least the guy knew how horrible he was. The next one - didn’t even introduce himself - was shy. So shy that he only stared down on his fingers. Therefore when Donna made the first move and told him a little about her life, he could only nod and blankly stare a hole into the hotel owner.

Sunken in a daydream, you scribbled something in your notebook hoping the words would turn into poems. When you first came to the island you had hoped to overcome the ongoing writer's block, but until now not even the alluring landscape could change that. It ever so often occurred that your eyes landed on the woman with the golden locks not sure if it’s because of how dissatisfied she looked or if it’s her that captured you. Often you came to this restaurant to get the words flowing or to talk to the owners. They have been welcoming from the first moment, so you decided to go there again and again until it became the only restaurant you’d go to.

Meanwhile, Donna was meeting the fourth guy that wanted to meet her. It seemed to be a better start than the rest of the guys, he wasn’t perfect but neither was he as self-centered as the ones before. Their conversation was good until he dropped the 'women belong in the kitchen’ bomb. It ruined everything for her. „Alright people, we’re gonna take a short break so everyone can let the impressions sink in,” Sophie quickly interrupted when she saw how uncomfortable her mother felt. Each of the participants got up and walked out on the terrace or ordered drinks from the bar. Donna scoffed and buried her head in her hands. „This is awful,” it was only a whisper but audible to her daughter. „I’m sorry, I really thought that you’re gonna have fun,” the girl replied. Without another word the woman got up and wanted to walk a few steps to stretch the tense muscles in her leg when she spotted you sitting in the corner of the room.

She took small steps to reach your table, she was curious about what you were doing there all alone scribbling in your notebook. At first, you didn’t notice her coming towards you, but when you did she seemed as if a halo would enlighten her. The notebook was closed in an instant when you realized that you were the aim she was about to reach. „Hi” you greeted her with a wide smile. „Hello, I noticed you sitting all alone,” it was obvious that Donna searched for an opportunity to escape the dating hell her daughter had organised. You saw in how deep of misery the woman was. „Would you like to sit with me for a while?” you requested and pointed at the chair opposite of you. The noise in the overfilled restaurant was deafening so the blonde woman didn’t bother using words and just pulled out a chair. „You don’t know in how many ways you just saved me,” she smirked and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. You blushed but tried to hide it while leaning your face in both of your hands.

„I saw you’ve been busy over there, isn’t speed dating fun?” you teased not knowing if it was alright to overstep this line. „They’re all abhorrently boring and irritating,” the woman huffed and throws a disapproving look at the crowd of men. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, you’ve never had the problem with weird men. „I’m Y/n by the way,” you reached out your hand which she gladly shook. „Nice to meet you, my name’s Donna.” Even her name sounded angelic. The woman’s company brought you joy and even ideas for new poems came to your mind. „You could stay here until it’s over, I don’t mind,” you suggested avoiding eye contact, fearing rejection. „I’d love to,” it sounded like heaven to you. Therefore she stayed and every time you looked at her, you hated to avert your gaze the next second. Although Donna seemed to enjoy herself, the men on the other side of the room looked as if they were disappointed that she left. „One of their cats vomited in their flat,” she told you rolling her eyes. „Aww, I love cats but without the vomiting,” you giggled and tried to find out who it was by just scanning them. „It’s the blond one,” she pointed at a tall, skinny guy. „Oh yes, he absolutely looks like a cat guy,” you remarked dryly not averting your gaze from the giraffe-like man.

Sophie saw her mother sitting with you, smiling and giggling sometimes. She didn’t dare to make her comeback and go through another round.

„Would you like something to eat while you’re waiting for this to be over?” you asked shyly. „Actually, yes! I’ve been starving since we’ve come here and the conversations I’ve had didn’t make it go away,” Donna explained and bit down her lip. You waved for Elias, a waiter, for her to order. You’ve been exploring the island with him a couple of times and learned that he would rather like to work on the mainland as a teacher than work at his parent's restaurant. The food was served in less than ten minutes and she hummed while eating. „This has to be the best one I’ve eaten yet,” Donna declared while putting the cutlery on her plate.

Donna admired you for your kindness of letting her stay with you, she was lost in the eyes of yours and how your y/h/c hair was blown from the wind from time to time. The opened window offered her a marvellous view on the deep blue ocean. She felt safe in your company and the stories you’d told her about your future plans captured her. „Then why have you decided to come to Kalokairi when you plan on becoming a writer?” the older woman curiously asked. „Well, I had a very severe writers block and wanted to be surrounded by nature and I’ve a lot about this place in tourist guides so I decided to come here to get my writing flowing,” you explained. „Oh I’m sorry, I hope you’ve overcome it by now.” „I think I just did,” you cheekily replied. Unknowingly that your time was up by now, Sophie strutted over to the both of you.

„Mum, I’m sorry to interrupt but we’re done,” the young girl smiled while looking at you. „I’d really like to do this again,” Donna circled with her finger on the table, „I’ll just give you my address and you can come over some time.” Donna scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to you. You tried to hide the huge smile that was about to form on your lips. „Thanks, I’d also love to repeat this,” your whisper was barely audible. Donna just winked before leaving with her daughter, she was gone and left you with butterflies in your stomach. That day you’re writers block seemed to be gone and you were finally able to bring some words on paper.

»As I sat and looked at her and the rolling hills she sat upon I thought, what amazing luck I have that the world had created such beautiful things and given me the eyes to see them.« *

At first, you’ve been too afraid to drop that little poem off at her house, but when you gathered enough courage you just went for it. It was only when you arrived that you realised she was managing a hotel. You quickly dropped it off with your phone number written on it, not brave enough to give it to her in person. The following hours consisted of you having almost a nervous breakdown not wanting to receive rejection again. You had enough of that for a lifetime. Was she even interested in that way or was she just being nice? It took her until the next morning to get back to you, but when she did, it brought your heart to quiver.

She invited you over for a walk along the coastline by sunset. Whenever Donna laughed, it felt as if the world was changing for the better, and she smiled like a goddess. When the sun was almost gone and barely visible, it made the whole island shimmer in a shade of magenta. The older woman seemed as if she took a liking to you, that’s when you realised the arm sneaked around you. It was that day when you never wanted to leave Kalokairi or the high you’ve been on since you first saw her.

—♡︎

Over the weeks you two had somehow developed an unspoken romantic relationship, none of you were brave enough to talk about the strong feelings in between. When Donna wasn’t busy working in the Hotel, you did almost everything together, sat by the beach while you used her as your muse for writing or you two cuddled on the couch.

You had sent your work to a publisher in New York when you had gathered a few more poems and one night you received an email. They actually wanted you in New York, the head of the company wanted to meet you first and if everything goes well he wanted to offer you a contract and an apartment in which you could get your words flowing. Although that sounded like a dream to you, so surreal and perfect to be true, your true new home was the island and the mere thought about leaving was too much. That’s why you didn’t tell Donna. You weren’t sure if this was the right time or if she’d even care.

„Why did they have to leave her out, just because she couldn’t pay for the country club?” the thing you loved about her, was that she always commented on the movies you watched. „It seems unfair to me,” you added and snuggled closer. You were partly on your laptop to check your mails for a confirmation on an order you placed. She was holding you close while her head was resting on yours. It was the smell of the ocean that comforted you and made your eyelids heavy. You had never stayed overnight at her house because you didn’t know if that was alright for her, so you fought against tiredness. Few strands of her hair slightly covered your eyes which only caused you to give in to your exhaustion more.

The steady sound of the movie and her beating heart made you even more tired until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. A comforting wave of sleep hit you and soon you were comforted in a dream. It wasn’t until the woman you’d fallen asleep on moved abruptly, that you woke up. „Ouch,” you murmured and your head jolted in an upward direction. „I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you,” Donna sounded weird but you brushed it off due to the late hour. „Don’t worry, is everything alright?” you then asked while straightening your back. Only a light hum was a response to your question, she then focused on the movie again. Minutes passed and your eyelids started to feel like cement. „Okay, you know what? It’s not okay. I know going through your things wasn’t right, but your laptop was open and I’ve seen the email from the publisher and internally I’m going mad and-“

„Stop,” it was a short but loud enough interruption of her rambling. Donna's eyes grew wide. „I don’t mind if you’re going through my things, but before you assume something you could’ve asked me, because I wasn’t planning on going,” you didn’t want to snap in that way. Only a regretful „Oh..” broke the uncomfortable silence. You felt bad for speaking to her in that tone. „I’m sorry but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, I just found you.” A small but proud smile formed on your lips, maybe the feelings were mutual. „I’m not going anywhere,” you quietly replied. Both of you started staring at the screen of the tv again, wordlessly. „Y/n?”

You hummed in response. „I think I love you.” „You think?” you laughed, „because I might love you too.” Her hands quickly found your face and pulled you in her direction, „Is that alright?” A slight nod confirmed and Donna’s lips found yours. They moved against yours in sync and that’s when you first noticed how soft they were, she tasted like peach and lavender. „Your hair’s so soft,” she mumbled when she stopped for air, after that Donna quickly found your lips again. „And your cute when you’re all worried,” you added when you gasped for air.

That night you stayed with Donna and fell asleep cuddling her. She wore a blue pyjama with puppies all over it, you were gushing over how adorable she looked.

—♡︎

„Come on we’re going to be late for the ferry if you don’t hurry up,” Donna rushed past you to turn off the kitchen lights. „Yeah yeah don’t rush me or I’m never gonna finish,” you replied and closed your suitcase. You were going home for your father's birthday and they wanted to meet the woman that you couldn’t stop talking about. „Ready?” „Yes.” Donna stretched out her hand for you and pulled you after her. „I hope they’ll like me,” she pondered while loading the suitcases in the trunk. „They will absolutely love you, trust me,” you said and helped her closing up.

The ferry was crowded as usual and you two barely had enough space so Donna demanded you to sit on her lap. „I hope we’re gonna catch our flight,” the woman mumbled and nervously checked her wristwatch. „Don’t sweat it, we’re gonna make it on time it’s still early,” you cackled, knowing that she was nervous. The ferry sailed over the water just as gracefully as a bull in a china shop. When the ferry reached the mainland, Donna and you quickly rushed to a cab and drove to the nearest airport. The sky was flawlessly blue, not a cloud could be seen.

Not a lot of people decided to fly to England on that day, you could count 17 people at the checkpoint. In the meantime Donna was a nervous wreck, the woman constantly fidgeted with the keychains. „Ew your hands are sweaty,” you joked when you took hers in yours, „don’t be afraid, I’m with you the whole time.” Donna forced a smile on her face then followed you on the airplane. It wasn’t a long flight, maybe four or five hours. The start was a rough patch, Donna’s anxiety of flying was at its highest and she was seemingly about to throw up. Luckily you could talk her down and she soon fell asleep.

Arriving in London Southend, which was close to your parent's house, your girlfriend's nerves seemed to be calmed and you almost thought she’d taken something. „Let’s get out of here, my brother’s gonna pick us up,” you declared as both of you got your luggage. „He’s very much into cars and all that stuff, so if he’s annoying you just tell him to shut up, I do this every time.” „Oh I hope it’s not getting too complicated so that I can keep up,” she stifled a laugh and cheerily followed you along to the exit. As usual, your brother couldn’t shut up about the new cars he is about to tune, but luckily the ride was only about 40 minutes.

Your father was fascinated by Donna, the two of them got along quite well and even your mother seemed to approve of your choice this time. There have been a few women she wasn’t fond of, almost hated them and in retrospect, she was right about them. As it got darker outside, your father's guests said their goodbyes and left one by one until only the five of you were left at the table. „We’re gonna go to bed, it’s getting late and I’ve got work tomorrow,” your father declared and clapped his hands on both of his legs before getting up. „Yeah me too,” your brother said.

„Wanna sit in front of the fireplace for a while?” you asked as all of them were gone. „Absolutely.” „Thanks for coming, I was afraid you wouldn’t like my family because of how crazy they are sometimes,” you whispered when you draped a blanket over the both of you. „They’re all lovely people, I’m happy they don’t seem to hate me,” Donna joked. „They don’t, they love you but maybe not as much as I do,” you sweet-talked. Her finger booped your nose before she planted a quick kiss on your forehead. „Can I hold your hand?” she quietly asked. You nodded, feeling her soft palms against yours was enough to make you feel safe. While you sat there watching the fire die out, the grip around Donna got tighter, fearing she’d be gone as soon as the sun rises. But she wasn’t, she was still there in the morning and the morning after and so on. You were happy with her, happier than you would’ve imagined.

* used a poem from atticus

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writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

New World Order - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter One (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: You were an Avenger. That was how the world viewed you. Nobody else knew about your past & it was for the better. After all, you had Sam. You had Bucky. That had to be enough. At least for now.

Words: 6,214

Warnings: language, sarcasm, expect some sort of slow burn, there are hints already, this is a Bucky fic, which means that it'll focus on his scenes more, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were no superhero. At least, you would never say you were one. Your past was filled with actions you regretted. None of it was your fault. It was not your decision to be the child of the leader of a HYDRA base. It was not your decision to grow up like a warrior. Fighting. Killing.

Your father was the bad guy. You knew that now. As a child, you did not see through his facade. How could you? He was your dad. Someone who was supposed to love you endlessly. Those years had shaped you. Into the person you were today.

Deep down, you wished there was a way to make you forget. Forget about your past. Forget about the pain. Forget about it all. Hell, you were a laboratory experiment. Those powers did not come from nowhere. No. They came from tons of needles, pumping a toxic serum into you veins. You should not even be alive anymore. Not by what now flowed through your body. Apparently, it was for your own good. That was how your dad put it. Absolute bullshit. Growing up isolated from the world, being trained to fight, to kill, daily. Your own good my ass. If it did one thing, then it ruined your damn life.

But at least you had powers, right? Blue flames you could control. Those blue flames that were hotter than anything else in this world. It took an awful lot of time to fully have control. Truthfully, you hated that part of you with every fiber of your being. It had been the cause of one too many deaths. You had been the cause. But weakness was not in your nature. If you did not show strength you would be a disappointment. Something you really did not want to be.

Bucky was the reason you got out of this life. He was the one to rescue you out of this hell hole. He was the one to show you an entirely different part of this world. And for that, you could never thank him enough. If it were not for Bucky, you would have gone insane ages ago. Who knew if you were still here today?

The Avengers were aware of your past. Of you being a part of HYDRA back in the days. Yet, you had never elaborated this any further. If there was one thing you were good at, it was keeping things to yourself. No need to burden others with your struggles. And you did struggle. Every single day. Because your mind was filled with memories. Memories you had tried to burn. Memories you wanted to erase. Memories of you being the bad guy. Just like your dad had been.

Your life changed when you were introduced to the Avengers. They did not trust you. Not right away. But during the fight with Thanos, the one after the Blip, you proved yourself to be worthy of their trust. Especially Steve. He had been there for you. When everyone else failed to believe in you. He was gone now. And it hurt like hell. Giving up was never an option. And the universe did not plan on giving you a break anytime soon. For now, you had to bury your feelings as deep as possible. Your focus should solely be on the new threats of this world. Threats, that seemed to increase daily.

“Bucky is an asshole.” you were on the phone with Sam & the fact that the super soldier had been ignoring him for a while did not leave a good feeling inside his chest.

“What a revelation.” sarcastic comments were part of your life. It was your way of coping with everything. Frankly, it worked. More or less. “Give him some time.”

“More time? No.” sighing loudly. “I have other things to focus on.” he was referring to the mission he was about to perform.

“You sure you’ll be fine on your own?” it was not like you did not believe in his abilities. Just, life had not been the same ever since billions of people came back.

“When have I ever not been?” you could think of a few times but Sam ended the call before you even had the chance to answer. Typical.

Luckily, Sam usually told you about his missions. And you were proud of him. You really were. The situation you found yourself in? With Bucky & him? Well, it was everything but good. Bucky called you. You called Sam. Sam called you. You called Bucky. A circle you kept alive. And it sucked to be their only way of communication. For now, though, both of them were too stubborn to change anything about it.

“Enjoying the Tunisian sun I hope?” whenever Sam went on a mission, you had him call you after it. Simply because he knew you worried.

“You know it.” in the far background you could hear him working on something.

“Is everyone alright? That trainee of yours? What’s his name again?”

“Torres.” he sighed, frustrated by your question. You had asked him about a million times & apparently, you still had no clue. Truth was, you just liked messing with him. “Redwing is hurt.”

“Naaaw, poor baby.” giggling slightly. That man cared more for a piece of tech than he should.

“Shut up.” okay, better not mess with Wilson if it came to Redwing. Got it.

“When are you coming back?” your voice turned serious again. Having him gone for so long did not stick right with you. Obviously, you knew he was doing it for the greater good. But still. “I swear to all the Gods, if you say when we’re done here…” mumbling quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“When we’re finished here.” a chuckle could be heard from his side. By the way it sounded, you assumed Torres was laughing as well. Rolling your eyes at his antics. He could be such a child sometimes.

“Oh, fuck off, Wilson.”

“Hey, language!” Sam had fun. Yeah, you were the one cracking jokes all of the time but he could deliver, too.

“Okay, you know what? Bye. Text me when you’re back.” now, it was you who did not give him enough time to respond. After all, he would have clapped back with another snarky remark & you were not in the mood for it. At all.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” everyone chuckled at Sam’s description. Of him. Steve. Rhodey was standing right next to you. In that suit of his. The one that made him look way more approachable than you. No need for people to approach you. They did not know who you were before. And they sure as hell did not need to. It would turn things complicated. Humans did not like complicated. You did not like it. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women & men that give them meaning. And this thing…” he paused briefly, let out a short chuckle. The shield. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, & he’s gone. So, today we honor Steve’s legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you.” the crowd erupted into cheers. Applause was filling the room & you felt out of place. What was he doing? When Sam asked you to join him here today, he left out the fact that he wanted to give away the shield. The shield Steve had trusted him enough to own. And the people surrounding you? They…celebrated him for it? This entire speech was proof enough that Wilson was worthy of this job. So why the hell did he make that decision? Watching the shield being put into the showcase, you could hardly hold in the tears that formed at the corners of your (Y/E/C) eyes. Rhodey nudged you, sensing that something was wrong. Head hanging low, you ignored him, walking out of the room as fast as possible. If you stayed here any longer, Sam would have bruises for sure. Bruises caused by you. You would not risk that. Though, he kind of deserved it.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Sam asked Rhodey when he finished with the press. You had told him you would wait here for him. There was no sign of you.

“Left a while ago.”

“What do you mean “Left a while ago.”? Did she say where she was heading?” why did you decide to leave? Had anything happened while he held his speech? All Rhodey could do was shrug. An explanation was not given by you. And he knew better than to ask.

“Take a walk?” Rhodey suggested, completely unaware to your weird behavior. The two of you were not that close. So he did not know you like Sam did. You were an adult, after all. If you wanted to go somewhere without asking someone first, then you were allowed to do that.

Disappointment was flooding through your body. Friends told each other stuff like that, right? So why did he keep it a secret that he planned on giving away the shield. With that action, he broke Steve’s trust & you were livid. If only Steve were here right now. You missed him. So much. Next time Sam met you, you could not promise anything. Because anger was all you felt. Anger & disappointment. Grief. But that one you could keep to yourself. At least for the time being. Shit. Bucky. One hundred percent did he watch Sam giving away the shield. Oh, he would be filled with hatred. Compared to that, you were only a small threat. Bucky was the one Wilson should keep an eye on. Well, he had been trying to get a hold of him. So far, without luck.

A gunshot blasting woke Bucky up from another night invaded by nightmares. His changed hair did not put his demons at bay. His look was different but there were some things he could never get rid of. His past. The past he dreaded as much as you did. Probably what you two had in common. Being part of HYDRA & all. His breathing was irregular & there was no way in hell he could go back to sleep. It was in the middle of the night & he hated himself for relying on someone else. But he would go insane if he did not call another person right now. If he did not call you. The only one who seemed to understand what he was going through. The only one who never judged him because of his nightmares. The only one who made him feel like he was a good person. Not the killer he once had been. When HYDRA controlled him. Back, when he was called “The Winter Soldier”. Would he ever move on from that? Grabbing his old phone, he did not overthink too long & dialed your number. One, he knew by heart. Because he had called you so many times. It stuck in his head.

“Buck? Is everything alright?” concern was present in your voice. Usually, when you got a call in the middle of the night, it was him. And you were fine with it. If he trusted you enough to help him with his demons, than you were more than happy to come to his aid. No matter the time.

“I-I…it’s just, ugh, I-“ still shaken up from his nightmare, you did not need him to finish his sentence. You had been in this exact situation so many times. You knew what he needed. Your presence. Your voice. Your comfort. You.

“I’ll be there in a few.” assuring him, you were already grabbing the stuff you needed & walked out of your apartment. Only one destination in mind. Him. “Do you need me to stay on the phone?” it was a simple question. A stupid one, too. Usually, he would not say a word until you were with him. But it felt right to ask him what he wanted you to do. Needed you to do. When he did not answer for a few moments, you guessed he only nodded, not realizing that you could not see his motions. Yet, he did not hang up. Neither did you. Your breathing was enough for him. At least until you were in his apartment.

Knocking softly, as to not wake his neighbors, the door opened almost immediately after. Squeaking ever so slightly. Taking in his appearance, you could tell that it had been a bad nightmare. No, not a nightmare. A memory. You knew that because it was the reason you woke up most nights as well. If it were not for him feeling miserable, you would have drooled by the sight of him. No shirt. Hair sticking around so beautifully. Eyes you could lose yourself in. But it was not the right timing. Besides, Bucky & you were just friends. That was it. Just friends. Though, you would lie if you said that you did not feel butterflies whenever he shot you one of his charming smiles. Whenever his body brushed against yours on accident. Yes, he did have that effect on you. Hell, that was not what he needed right now. Your feelings could be dealt with later on. Bucky was all who mattered now. There was no conversation. No words exchanged. It was enough for him if you were with him. A sign that he was not alone. That he still had you. Even after everything. Even after calling you, night after night, disturbing your own rest. Not that you got much to begin with but he did not need to know that. It had always been a mystery to him. Why you stuck around still. Though you had assured him thousands of times that you were in this for good. If he needed you, you were only one call away. And he appreciated you for it. More than he would ever like to admit. Friends. You were friends.

“So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?” another session with Dr. Raynor. Another dreaded session. It was stupid to Bucky. But there was no way out of this. He had to. Seconds of silence went by before she spoke up again. “James, I asked you a question. Are you still having nightmares?” what kind of question was that? A stupid one. That was for sure.

“No.” simple, short. Sufficient. Not for his doctor, though.

“We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying. Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?”

“No.” what an answer to move this session forward. Clearly, he was not in the mood to talk today. Not even you were able to get his mind off of things. Though, you definitely made his night easier.

“You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…” her hand motioned stabbing. Awful action but who were you to judge? Bucky nodded with that look on his face that showed how completely done he was with this situation. Yet, she kept going. “It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” well, it was worth a try. After taking a deep breath, she grabbed the pencil, ready to start writing into that notebook of hers again. “Oh, come on. Really? You’re gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It’s passive aggressive.” looked like the two of them were going back to the roots.

“You don’t talk. I write.” Bucky sighed at that. He knew he would not get out of this.

“Okay. Okay. I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don’t worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood. She was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her.”

“So, rule number one, you can’t do anything illegal.”

“All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her. And I wasn’t involved in anything else.”

“Rule number two?”

“What was rule number two?” his gaze drifting off, showing he thought about it deeply. How ironic.

“Nobody gets hurt. It’s a big one.”

“Then why isn’t it rule number one?” he did have a point there. No room left for arguing about that. “I didn’t hurt anybody. I promise.”

“And what about rule number three?” Bucky’s mouth opened, yet, nothing came out. “The whole point of making amends is to fulfil rule number three.”

“You know, you’re a cynic, Doc. Of course, I completed rule number three. I am James Bucky Barnes & you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” words followed by that smile of his. That smile everyone could tell was fake. Almost creepy. But efforts, right? It was all about the efforts.

“So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares.”

“Well, like I said, I didn’t have any.” Bucky Barnes, everyone. Still trying to fool his doctor.

“Look, one day, you’re gonna have to open up & understand that some people really do want to help you & that they can be trusted. People like (Y/N).” the mention of your name made his eyes snap up.

“I trust more people than her.” it sounded more like he tried to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Yeah? Give me your phone.” an order. Grabbing it out of his pocket to hand it over. A short look was enough. “You don’t have ten phone numbers on this thing. Oh, & you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad…Oh, that’s not right. You called (Y/N) last night. Anything you wanna tell me about that?” closing the flip phone, she threw it over to Bucky which he caught with ease.

“What? Do I need to justify calling a friend?” chuckling & shaking his head slightly, he brushed his hands over his thighs.

“If you call that friend at 3 am, then yes. Because you should sleep at that time. Except if you had a nightmare which you claimed that you didn’t.”

“We just talked. That’s all.” he thought that brushing it off as if it were nothing was enough to get her to shut up. Hell, he had brought you up during his sessions way too many times. After all, he still wanted the situation between you guys to be subtle.

“You’re alone.”

“A minute ago, you said I had (Y/N).” he tried arguing but his attempts failed.

“You’re a hundred years old. You have no history, no family…” right, pouring salt in the wounds. That usually worked.

“Are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional, you know? When did that start? Yelling at your clients?” she seemed to have enough & again went for the little book next to her. “Oh, the notebook. That’s great.” sighing deeply, he braced himself to take her more seriously. “All right, give me a break. I’m trying, okay? This isn’t…This is new for me. I didn’t have a moment to deal with anything, you know? I had a little…calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years.”

“So, now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?” he had an answer in mind right away. Never ever would he say it out loud. It took him a second to reply. Because what he was about to say came in union with his first thought.

“Peace.”

“That is utter bullshit.” what a nice way to bad talk his answer. Maybe she was expecting something else from him. Maybe she knew the answer just as much as he did. The real answer.

“You’re a terrible shrink.”

“I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, & I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone…”

“Which I’m not because I have (Y/N).”

“…that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back, you are being pardoned. I mean, these are good things. You’re free.”

“To do what?”

Wednesday. Bucky usually went to Izzy. Today, he asked you to join him & Yori. Why he wanted you there with them? No clue. But it was not often he asked you to go somewhere with him so you agreed on meeting them there.

“Take a look.” Yori was a cute, old man. Reading his newspaper like a good citizen. Bucky had yet to give you an explanation as to why you were here right now. But for now, you just sat next to him, quietly observing your surroundings. “Nobody made it past 90 this week.” it was funny, to see Bucky trying his hardest to sound interested. Like he understood.

“So young. Such a shame.” his words made you scoff. Apparently, once you hit the 100 mark, you turn into a sarcastic piece. If you were not one before. If you ever made it to 100? Only the Gods knew what would come after that. Most people called you a sarcastic asshole now. Could that be topped?

“You guys didn’t order the usual, huh? Feeling a little adventurous?” the woman behind the counter directed her words at the three of you.

“Um, actually, I’ve never been here before, so…” you chuckled to avoid the awkwardness that would sure as hell build if you kept quiet now.

“You should ask her out.” Yori leaned over to Bucky & you almost choked on your food at his words. Bucky asking her out? Her? Yeah, she was beautiful & all. But her? Really? Seemed like that Yori dude did not know Bucky as well as he claimed to. You, on the other hand, were aware that nothing good would come out if it. Besides, they would not even make a nice couple. Shit, were you jealous? Oh no. Glancing over at the man next to you, his face showed just how much he despised this idea. At least something.

“Mm-mmm…” shaking his head frantically, he shot you a quick look but before his eyes locked onto yours, your gaze fell down to your plate. Slightly embarrassed. Scared that, if he looked at you, he would notice something behind your look. Something more. Something, that you wanted to keep hidden. For everyone’s sake.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” oh fuck off, Yori. You had nothing against this man but he was pushing your buttons. Could he not see that Bucky was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date? With her? “Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle.” hiding your laugh behind one of your hands, you could not believe that he was serious. Bucky & bingo? Well, it was for old people so you guessed it fit quite well. Not with her, though. Oh no, you really were jealous.

“I’m really sorry about him.” Bucky apologized for his friend’s behavior. Yes, you were sorry for him, too.

“Why are you sorry?” of course, now the woman was flirting with him. It got better & better. Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You could not lash out in the middle of this restaurant, after all. Even though you were this close to doing just that. Deep breaths, you got this. “I’m game.” sure she was.

“Wow.” really? Bucky was impressed? By this? Oh come on, why would he settle for less when he could have so, so much more. But it was not your decision. He was not yours. You did not own him. Neither did you make the decisions for him.

“Tomorrow night, then?” Yori leaned over the counter.

“Tomorrow night’s great.” she replied with a bright smile.

“Hey, I just remembered something.” you spoke up all of a sudden. Bucky’s eyes met yours now & he saw that you were uncomfortable. Though, he could not pinpoint why. “Um, I-I need to go. See you, Buck. Bye guys.” sprinting out of the restaurant, you hoped nobody would follow you. Not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. All you wanted was to be alone right now. Your mind the only one keeping you company. But your mind was not really the kindest to you. Not in this particular moment. So what? Bucky had a date. You knew that would happen sooner or later. He was a good looking man. More importantly, you just wanted him to be happy. Genuinely happy.

Fucking great. Who could you talk to? You still were not done being mad at Sam. And now you were mad at Bucky for something he did not even do. He sort of did. He could have said no. If he really did not want to, he could have said no. Bucky was enough of a man to speak his mind, you knew that. Maybe he did want to go on a date with her. What was her name again? Not that you cared too much. But still. Blinking away the tears that had formed at the corners of your eyes, you kept on walking. Without a real destination. You were stupid. Friends. Why could you not accept this? Usually, you would call Steve in such a situation. Or even Tony. But it was too late now. They were not here anymore. You had to deal with that sooner or later. Whether you liked it or not. Contemplating calling Sam, you eyed your phone carefully. One more button. But nope. The anger was bigger than the need to talk to someone. Stubborn you. Wilson could make you feel better. But you would most likely end up yelling at him. And you knew you would regret your words later on. So might as well stay silent for the time being. Until you calmed down enough.

It was 10 pm. Date time for Bucky. That same restaurant. Being the gentleman that we was, he even brought her flowers. Like it used to be back in the 40s.

“Well, if that’s not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone’s ever done.” Bucky felt lost. In her company. “Grab a seat, I’ll be done in a few.”

“Okay.” he could up & leave. It would not be too late. All he knew was that it felt wrong.

“So, have you dated much since half the fish in the sea came back?”

“Not really. I, um…tried the whole online dating thing. (Y/N), the girl who was here with me yesterday, she set up a profile for me because I didn’t understand a single thing.” laughing at the memory, he thought back to when he called you to ask you for a favor. How you laughed at him for wanting to try this whole bullshit. “It’s pretty crazy. A lot of weird pictures.”

“What kind of weird?”

“I mean, tiger photos? Half the time I don’t even know what I’m looking at. It’s…It’s a lot. When I showed (Y/N), she simply said that this was what I signed up for.”

“You sound like my dad.” definitely something a man did not want to hear while on a date. On the other hand, he did not even want this to be a date. “Wait. How old are you?

“A hundred & six.” only he could make it sound so casually. Like it was the most normal thing on this planet. Both laughed at his words. Simply because it was so absurd.

“What’s up with your big gloves?” a sensitive topic she just touched.

“I, um, have, uh…poor circulation.” sure thing.

“Hmm…Hey, what is it about this (Y/N) girl & you?” his eyes widened at her question. What was she getting at?

“She’s my friend. Why?” his dumbfounded expression made her chuckle.

“A friend, huh?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You sure about that?” an eyebrow raised. A questioning stare was sent his way.

“Why does everyone think I don’t have friends?” throwing his head back in frustration, he let out a long sigh.

“It’s not that.” she stopped briefly, thinking about her next words carefully. “Just, you guys seem pretty close.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for years.” he reasoned, gesturing with his hands to bring his point across.

“Yeah? And the looks you’re shooting each other when the other one’s not looking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You two aren’t really subtle about this, you know?” she wiped the counter & did not even look at Bucky. He, on the other hand, started sweating.

“Subtle about what?”

“Oh, come on. Who are you kidding? I don’t even know why you’re here right now.”

“Because Yori set you & me up on a date.”

“And why did you agree?” she crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for an explanation from the man in front of her.

“I-I don’t know.” he responded truthfully. Because he thought it to be polite? Because Yori was the one who suggested it? Honestly, he was not sure.

“That’s what I thought. Look, you’re a nice guy & all but…just, listen to your heart from time to time. It’s late. You should head out. See you.” she turned around & walked further into the restaurant. Leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. It was clear what she intended. Did not mean that it made this entire situation any easier. Bucky left without another word. Fresh air would help him think straight.

Your phone rang & you sighed when you checked who decided to annoy you. Bucky. Of course. But wait. Should he not be on his date right now? Did something go wrong? Not that you wanted it to but if you were entirely honest, you would not be mad about it either.

“Hi Buck. What’s up?”

“I need your help with something.” there was no hesitation in his voice. Just him being straight forward.

“Please don’t tell me you need help on how to get the girl.” it was your way to lighten the mood. You did that because you could tell that he was incredibly serious. Usually, this was never a good sign.

“Can I send you an address? Can you meet me there as soon as possible?” his voice was low, deep.

“Um, sure thing. But just to set things clear…I won’t join in on your fun, Buck. That’s between you & her.” again, sarcasm was your way of coping with emotions. Though, it was not the right time to use it right now. His next words were proof enough. You should not mess with him. Not in this moment.

“Can you be serious for a second?” he raised his voice a little. It was not much but it was enough to leave you confused. Bucky was not the person to yell at you. Especially not like this.

“I’m sorry…Um, yeah, tell me where & I’ll get there as fast as I can.” gulping down, you waited for him to give you more information.

Arriving at an unfamiliar building, you could make out Bucky’s form in front of it. Why would he want to meet you here? Where was his date?

“Buck?” your voice barely above a whisper. The night sky only illuminated by the moon that shone brightly. Providing just a tiny bit of light. Enough, to let you notice your surroundings.

“Thanks for coming.” you could tell that he was stressed, tough, you were not sure why.

“Is everything alright? Because I swear, if that woman did anyth-“

“No, she didn’t. Promise.” his warm smile was encouraging enough. It was clear that he was not lying to you. “Just…didn’t work out. But that’s not why you’re here.”

“Okay?”

“My last nightmare. Do you remember?” nodding for him to continue. “How I killed that innocent man?”

“It wasn’t you, Buck. You were being controlled.” touching his shoulder softly, squeezing it to reassure him.

“Whatever…That guy, it was Yori’s son. I want to, need to, apologize. Even though the apology comes way too late.” you nodded at him, your eyes meeting his briefly. Now you knew why he called you. He did not want to do this alone. No. He wanted you by his side. To support him through it. Entering the building together, Bucky led you to the apartment Yori lived in. His hand raised to knock on the door. Surprisingly, he did not waste any time. He wanted to get this over with. Understandingly so. No words were exchanged. You being here, with him, that was more than enough.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Yori opened the door, his face showed confusion by the appearance of you two. “How was the date?” you could not help but roll your eyes at the old man in front of you. Looking at Bucky, you were worried when you saw him having an internal conversation with himself. Mouth opening & closing again. No words coming out. Risking a look inside the apartment, you noticed a small picture frame with who you assumed to be his son. The one Bucky killed. No. The one the Winter Soldier killed.

“It was…It was good.” Bucky mumbled.

“Bullshit.” you followed after. None of them heard you, though. Luckily.

“Forgot I owed you for lunch.” Bucky handed him money. If you were not mistaken, this was not a form of apologizing. He had a hard time, though, that much was obvious. Afterwards, Bucky turned around & walked away without another word. Which left you alone with a confused looking Yori.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, sir. Have a good night.” plastering on the sweetest smile you could offer, you followed Bucky outside. Jogging to keep up with the super soldier.

Back outside, you saw Bucky holding his little notebook in his hands. You knew about it. Because you were the only person he talked to when it came to his therapy sessions. A look over his shoulder could tell that his eyes were trained on the name being circled. His body was tense. That was not what he planned.

“It’s okay, Bucky.” your hand stroked over his lower back in a comforting way. Your forehead rested against his shoulder, hoping, that it would ease him a little. You could feel him calm down at your touch. “Give yourself some time.” you mumbled quietly, knowing he could hear you clearly due to the calm night. You just hoped that he would not beat himself up too much. Not more than he already did.

You were back in your own apartment. Still no words from Sam. But that was nothing new. Sometimes, he would go radio silent for a few days but after that, he would always check in with you. Maybe he figured that you were mad at him. For giving away the shield & all. And he probably was busy with work. The work he did with Torres. If he needed your help, he would call you for sure. Your TV got your attention again. Something told you to watch closely. So you did.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable. Every day Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense & our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.” the crowd cheered loudly & someone walked through the door. You could not believe what was happening. Please, this had to be a bad dream. When would you wake up form this hell? A man, wearing his suit, holding his shield, greeted the people. Looking at your hands, you could see small, blue sparks forming at the tips of your fingers. That only ever happened when you had no control over your emotions. Right now, you were everything but in control. Of course he had to wink at the camera like the sick person he was.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…” breathing out lowly, you put your head into your hands, completely ignoring the sparks there. You did not feel them anyway. If you ever met this son of a bitch it would not end well for him. And the next time you would meet Wilson? Fingers crossed he could deal with your angry & disappointed self. Because you were seething.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/02/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @taina-eny, @tanyaherondale, @cool-ultra-nerd, @toribentleyva, @buckyandlokirunmylife, @annadier, @howlongtillidie, @mizz-kraziii, @theetherealbloom, @millenniumloki, @marvelbros-oneshots, @ajbwasnthere, @bilesxbilinskixlahey, @mystictimetravelcolor, @dbrees256, @sxpxrnxturxl, @dreamydreamerwriting, @dolllstyles, @angelicastiel, @prettysbliss, @infinitelyforgotten, @sweetserendipity65, @lilystilinskicullen, @partypoisonsblog, @btdsprayberry, @sarai-ibn-la-ahad, @deamus-liv, @simplybarnes, @sethcohenluvr (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

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