#it was so cute i seriously have SO MANY family photos !!! i took one every holiday !!

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 6 (MBJ x OC)

Warnings: Look… its literally just angst lol you're gonna feel things! Don't say I didn't warn you. NSFW

A/N: This is like 2 weeks later than I promised (SO sorry, y'all!) but I hope you enjoy!

***

“This isn’t so bad,” Michael argued. “She’s just complaining that she hasn’t met me yet and some other shit that isn’t even true. Why’s that a problem?” 

Alex shook her head as she scrolled on her phone. Her eyes did not even leave her phone screen as she spoke, her nails furiously tapping across the glass screen. “It’s not what she said that’s the problem. It’s that she’s talking at all… the only things I want to see in the media about the two of you are cute photos from date night, not tell alls from family members. Does she know about your… previous career?” 

This was the first time his manager had even directed a question at Raven, who had sat silently since they arrived. She was so angry that she could not even revel in the fact that she was at Michael’s house for the first time, not regulated to her usual place in his bachelor pad. She thought being invited to this intimate part of his life would make her happier. But instead of feeling joy and welcomed, she merely felt like a burden. She was only there out of necessity to fix the crisis her own sister created. 

This is why you can never be more, she reminded herself. Paris had started to rip out the weeds of doubt that grew in her soul, siphoning away the power of the notion that they could not be more. It had made her fall deeper in love with him, made her seriously ponder whether his feelings for her stretched into deeper territory.. But this? This reminded her of a sickening fact. 

No matter how many trips he charted for her, gifts he showered her with, or kindness he showed, she did not belong here with him in the real world. It was as if every intimate detail of his home and his real life that she saw screamed at her that she was out of place, punching above her weight, and needed to return to where she belonged: the outskirts of his life in the condo where he took one-night stands and flings that meant nothing once the sun rose. Because as soon as their arrangement was done, she would be nothing to him again. And while Paris had made her feel like she could still win in the ring, now she felt as if she was merely being punched right back down where she belonged. 

“No. Well… she doesn’t know about the prostitution. But… I always thought she figured out I was a stripper somehow.” 

Alex, who previously had been engrossed in her phone, lifted her head in surprise. “You were a stripper too? Would’ve been nice to know before now,” she muttered under her breath. 

Raven’s long stiletto nails bit into the palm of her hand as she tried not to let one comment push her right off the cliff she was teetering on. She knew Alex was not intending to be judgmental but that did not stop her from feeling the sting of it. Every choice she made in her life since the moment she came into the world seemed to be a bad one for everyone else. She could not do anything right. 

“I was a 19 year old with no skills who needed to pay for college. I wasn’t facing a fucking mountain of options. So I did the best I could with a shitty situation... Sorry my choices as a desperate teenager are making your job so difficult,” Raven snapped. 

“I didn’t me-” 

“Alex.” Michael’s stern voice cut through the budding tension, stealing the words right out of Alex’s mouth. Michael’s dominance and power seemed to have an effect on everyone, though Raven suspected it was because he was not the type to abuse it. Alex immediately let the rest of her sentence fade away, opting to apologize instead. 

Michael’s eyes had not left Raven’s body since they got in the car. He hated how her eyes actively avoided him, he had been unable to look in her beautiful brown eyes for over an hour and that killed him. They were the most expressive part of her, windows into her soul and every feeling she had. She shied away from his comforting touch in the car so he kept his distance but even still, he could see how her entire frame trembled ever so slightly. Her furrowed brow… her silence. God, her silence was so deafeningly loud in his ears. He was not used to it. Even if it was awkward ramblings, she was rarely silent with him. This was a side of her he had never seen. It was not sadness or resignation, he had seen both of those, and she seemed to be able to push through those just fine. No, this was something else and it was red hot and all consuming to the point where he could tell she could not hide it. It was a far cry from the woman who was sound asleep on his shoulder on the plane two hours prior. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex raised her hands. “I’m sorry. I’d never judge anyone for doing what they need to. I just need to know what else your sister could say.” 

“She has no proof… just speculation. But that’s it. She doesn’t know anything about my life now… we aren’t close.” 

At first, she had immediately handed Alex back her phone, uninterested in reading whatever lies her sister decided to spew. However, when Michael summarized it for her, the notions in it were so absurd, she had to read them for herself. She instantly wished she had not. 

It was as dramatic as it was false, her sister complaining about how Raven had changed and alienated her own family since her romance with the superstar had begun. She spun a web of tall tales about how Raven never spoke to them anymore, how close they once were and how much the family missed her, how Raven had told them Michael was too busy to meet them. By the time Raven got to the end of the article, she was shaking. 

She supposed the silver lining was that the article was more of a personal attack on her character than their relationship, which she was used to from her sister. She just had not expected her sister to drag it into the public eye like this. And while reading her words agitated some of her deepest wounds, they fueled more anger in her than any other emotion. Anger was not an emotion Raven often felt where her family was concerned. Slight frustration, sadness, hurt, guilt? She felt all of those often but she was used to it and often brushed them off. But true anger? That was rare, or rather, it was rare that she let herself feel true anger. And now, it hit her as high, powerful waves crashing against her shores. 

“So she’s just lookin’ for her 15 minutes. Fine. But she can’t say anything else, this’s gotta be it.” 

“Who cares if she mouths off to the media?” Michael asked. He knew why Alex cared and why he should care. But at that moment, all he could actually care about was minimizing this for Raven’s sake. He knew her well enough to know that the only person she would blame for this was herself, not her idiot sister. And it seemed to him that she blamed herself for far too much where her family was concerned. He did not want to add another unnecessary thing to that list. Nor did he want her to feel the burden of this because she was quite the opposite of a burden to him and he would clean up 100 PR nightmares for her without a second thought. They had taken 10 steps forward in Paris, walls came crumbling down for both of them. If he did not fix this fast, Raven would retreat 15 steps back from him and he could not take that. 

“That’s not the point! She’s smoke and TMZ knows where there’s smoke, there’s a fuckin’ fire. And y’all two and this whole situation is a damn forest fire. We don’t need TMZ or a fuckin’ Inspector Gadget head ass Tik Toker to look into Raven’s life or past anymore than they already have. So you need to shut her up now. Is she a fan of his or somethin?”

Raven scoffed. “If wanting to add him to her list of fuck buddies means she’s a fan then sure… she’s a fan.” Her anger meant she could not hide the bitterness in her voice, could not pretend to have a kind word to say about her sister who seemed to take joy in going out of her way to ruin all the good things in her life. 

“Well, that shit definitely ain’t happenin’,” Michael stated with a growl. 

“I mean, no nigga, I wasn’t gonna suggest you fuck her sister.” Alex rolled her eyes.

“Maybe we s-should just end this. I’m causing more problems than I’m fixing.” Raven’s voice was so quiet, Michael almost did not hear her. It hurt her heart to even consider it but Paris had rubbed her raw, left her and her emotions exposed in ways she had not experienced in a long time. And she had not minded that at first, she savored the closeness and vulnerability with another person. But now, all of her emotions felt dialed up by ten in that vulnerability and that overwhelmed her. She was overwhelmed by the rage she felt at her family for trying to use Michael the way they used her. She thought she couldn’t ruin him but she felt as if she already was. “I’m r-ruining everything…” 

Michael’s heart stopped, his head shaking vehemently before any words could even escape his lips. “What? No… why would we do that?” 

Raven’s head fell into her hands as she let out a frustrated and strangled sigh that sounded like a sob. 

“Ok, let’s all take a breath. I’m sorry, I probably made this seem like a bigger deal than it is. We don’t need to stop or end it if you aren’t ready to. This is still a good plan, no one is ruining anything. We can fix this. We just need to give her what she wants. If you just meet her, take a picture with her, get her tickets to a high profile event or party or whatever she wants, then maybe she’ll settle down and keep her mouth shut.” 

“She won’t,” Raven mumbled to no one in particular. 

“Everyone has a price and we just need to find hers,” Alex continued texting on her phone.  

“She won’t because she’s an attention seeking bitch. She’s never had a real job or ambition or anything going for her and just takes and takes and takes from everyone with no thought. I can give her the fucking world and she’ll come back with her hand still out!” Raven exploded, jumping up from her seat as the words escaped her lips before she could even hope to stop them. She buried her face in her hands and turned away from both of them as she heard them in the space, instantly regretting them. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

Michael sighed and gestured toward the door, Alex walking out of the room with him. He closed the door behind them.

“So I take it there’s some bad blood there?” Alex asked as she leaned on the door. 

“Lots of it. You know how family shit is… lots of heavy ass baggage there. Let me talk to her and I’ll call you tonight with a game plan. I think she just feels betrayed and upset and needs to process all that.” 

“Understood,” Alex raised her hands in surrender. “Take your time, give her what she needs. Sorry this had to happen as soon as you came back. She seemed really happy when y’all got off the plane, I didn’t mean to ruin it.” 

Michael shook his head. “Doing your job isn’t ruining anything. But my guess is the timing of this, on her sister’s part, wasn’t random. Sucks too… the past week was the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her, first time she seemed actually happy.” Michael stared through the glass panels of his office door to watch her. He could see the tension in her shoulders from all the way over here, could tell they were shaking slightly from silent tears. 

He turned away to look back at Alex whose eyes were big with shock. 

“What?” 

“You’re in love with her.” 

“Alexxxx…” he dragged out her name, his manager scoffing and dragging him by the arm further away from the door. 

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Bakari. I’ve run a couple PR relationships in my time and most fail miserably. Been trying to figure out why this one seems to be working so well… I knew it wasn’t cause you’re that good of an actor, no shade. It’s because you… Michael Bakari Jordan love her. You’re not having to play for the cameras because you’re actually in love with her. Look me in my eyes and tell me I’m wrong.” 

Michael sucked his teeth. “I love her.” He admitted. “And I know what you’re gonna say… it can’t work and it’s stupid and I’ll need to end it like we always planned. I know, I got it.” 

He started to move past her when her hand grabbed his bicep to stop him. 

“I was actually gonna say that I’m happy for you. Been waiting for you to wise up and find someone for real. If she’s what you want, I support it and you 100%. And we can figure out how to spin it.” She jerked her head back toward the office. “Go take care of your girl. Call 

me later.” 

They shared a hug before Michael disappeared back into the office. Raven sniffled and quickly wiped her tears away before standing up and walking over to him. She tried to put a positive look on her face and tone in her voice as she spoke. 

“I’m sorry… that outburst was m-mean and totally unnecessary. And not helpful. She’s right, we need a game plan and everything. Where’s Alex? I want to apologize and then I can fix this.”

He perched on the edge and widened his stance so he could pull her in between his legs. His arm wrapped around her waist as he pulled her into his chest. He did not like how she braced her forearms against his chest to avoid fully melting into his embrace. 

“I don’t need you to do anything and Alex doesn’t need an apology. She’s fine. I care more about whether you’re good or not. You’re upset.” 

She shook her head. “I’m not upset.” 

Michael raised an eyebrow. “You just called your sister an attention seeking bitch. Ain’t gon’ hear an argument from me but that’s not like you. You’re pissed, rightfully so. Tell me why though, don’t bottle that shit up.” 

Raven stared at him for a moment, her mouth opening and closing a couple times as she tried to find the words to tell him. Tell him that she was near out of relentless hope and optimism, that a not-so-small part of her hated her sister and wished she never had to see her again, that she wanted to cut her and her dad out of her life completely but she wasn’t brave enough to be truly alone so she couldn’t, that a bigger part of her wanted to call TMZ and tell them all about how horrible her family has been to her her entire life, that it cut deeper than she imagined it would to read her sister describe a relationship between them that had always been her dream but she actively denied her. She wanted to tell him that she was tired, that she felt guilty and ashamed for dragging him into this mess, that she didn’t deserve his care and kindness because all she had done was ruin his life.

It was all too much, the avalanche of emotions she felt picked up speed and power with every moment she stood in his presence. And she needed it to stop, needed to throw up some type of blockade so she was not run over and drowned by it. She needed walls again, barriers. And the only way she could think to recreate those was to put both physical and emotional distance between herself and the man in front of her. He was the only person who forced her to exist in her vulnerability, to feel everything and not shy away from it. But that was dangerous. She was not built for it. Once the avalanche hit, she knew she would not get back up. So, she had to get out. 

So she did the only thing she could think of, she threw up the walls of a working girl. She knew they would not hold for long, not with his persistence, but they would hold long enough for her to reign it all in again. Long enough for her to lock her feelings back up in their cage where they belonged. 

“I’m not angry.” Her tone left no room for argument as she pried herself out of his embrace and walked back to the couch to grab her bag off the floor. “I’m not angry. Kiara’s not a… bad person. She’s just… Kiara’s the Sun and I imagine the Sun would be upset if Pluto tried to steal its spotlight too. She’s the center of my family’s world and she hates it when it seems like I’m trying to take that away. It’s fine. I’ll give her whatever she needs to feel like the Sun again and that I humbled myself back to my position as Pluto. Everyone wins.” She said it in such a matter-of-fact way that, if he didn’t know her, he would have missed the bitterness in her words. 

“You don’t need to pretend with me, Rae. You can be upset.” 

“Nothing to be upset about. This is just how it is… I’m used to it. She wants something and she knows I’m gonna give it to her. I’ll call her and figure out what she wants and we’ll fix this.” 

She started to fiddle on her phone before Michael pried it out of her hand and threw it on his desk. 

“I don’t give a fuck about what your sister wants right now… I care about what you need.” 

“I don’t really need anything from you or anyone else right now.” Her words clipped and colder than Michael had ever heard her before. “Least of all a damn therapist.” 

Her heart broke at the hurt that flashed across his eyes but she decided that was fine. She needed distance and however she achieved that, even if it was by pushing him away, it would work for her. However, before he could respond, her phone started to buzz loudly on the desk. 

“Speak of the devil.” Michael handed Raven her phone back, her sister’s name popping up across the screen. 

“Hey Kiara.” She put the phone on speaker phone so Michael could hear. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t call me all day, I know you saw the article.” 

Raven and Michael shared a knowing glance that made Michael’s blood boil. She had done this just to outshine Raven who had been in the media and tabloids multiple times in the last week from their trip. Michael had guessed that but knowing her sister went to such lengths to diminish her sister bothered him far more than he could describe. Was there no one in his girl’s life that allowed her to shine? 

“Yea I saw it. I’m sure you also saw that Michael and I weren’t in the country. We just saw it when we landed about an hour ago.” 

“Yea I saw you both... Why didn’t you invite me??” 

Raven let out a small huff. “Do you even have a passport?”

“No… but I could’ve gotten one. it's not fair that you get to go while I’m stuck here. And with my favorite actor. All my friends sending me clips of your stories and pictures and shit. And I didn’t even know you were gonna be there. And I had to lie and tell them that you invited me but I couldn’t go. You don’t include me in shit and you keep makin’ me look fuckin’ stupid. You probably didn’t think about me once!”

“I mean no, you weren’t the first thing that came to mind when my boyfriend invited me on a trip to Paris. I’m allowed to have and enjoy experiences on my own. Also no one forced you to lie, who would have expected you to be invited on a trip with me and my boyfriend?” 

She heard Kiara scoff on the other side of the phone. “‘My boyfriend,’” she mimicked back. “You better enjoy this lil 15 minutes of fame you’re getting from him cause it won’t last. Ain’t like you’re worth his time. He’ll wise up, realize he needs a real woman, a girl like me.” 

“Did you want something?” Raven interrupted, turning her head from Michael so he could not see just how deeply her words cut. She would never argue that she was good enough for the man sitting next to her but hearing someone else validate those insecurities hurt.. Her sister certainly knew which wounds to cut into. “Or was your tell all just to ruin my trip?” 

“Oh well… None of this would’ve happened if you had gotten me even one of the things I asked for weeks ago. Like damn, I know he’s busy but he don’t even have a real job. He could come out and met me when I asked.” 

Michael’s face twisted up in a look of faux offense that would have been a perfect gif, which made the edges of Raven’s lips curl into a small smile as she stifled her laugh. How did he manage to make her smile even when she felt utterly incapable of the action? 

“Acting is a real job, Kiara. And I invited you all here to meet him. But no, I wasn’t gonna ask him to get you a Birkin, I don’t even have a Birkin.”

Michael resisted the urge to cut in and ask her if she wanted one. Because he could easily have one at the house by sunset if she did. 

“Dad and I can’t afford to jet set out to LA… the hotels, the food, all that shit. We’re barely getting by as it is.” 

Raven rolled her eyes. “Barely getting by” when they both worked and Raven often paid most of the major bills. 

As she was talking, Michael gestured for her to mute the phone. “Tell her I’ll pay for the flights and invite them to Thanksgiving.” At Raven’s wary face, Michael just nodded. “Just trust me.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the price of the flights was the issue. H-how about we pay for the flights and your hotel and… you could come for Thanksgiving this year? Michael’s family are great cooks so it’ll be nice. And you can meet him?” 

“Really?? Thanksgiving at Michael’s house?” 

“Yea,” the words were almost painful to get out. Part of her wanted to believe this could be a good thing but the more logical part knew that it would not soften anything between all of them. After all, they were not coming to see her, they were coming to gawk at Michael. “But you can’t talk to the media anymore, Kiara. Seriously, you can meet him and everything but you can’t go give a tell all to TMZ or Page Six or any of them anymore. Understand?” 

“Fineeeee. No more media. I’ll tell dad. Send me the flight and hotel information. Make sure to put us up somewhere nice… you know like the Ritz or a five-star hotel. And can you have a car for us while we’re there? We’re gonna wanna sightsee and everything.” 

“Of course,” she muttered through gritted teeth. 

“Ok. See you then, bye.” 

Raven clenched her phone in her hand, resisting the urge to chuck it across the room. 

“Damn, sis’s got expensive taste,” Michael muttered. 

Raven’s laugh was cold and humorless. “It’s easy to have expensive taste when it’s not your money. You sure about this? Thanksgiving? Here?” 

“What? Thanksgiving is the time people spend with family. We can get a nice group shot and they can feel included. And I’ll get her somethin’ expensive and nice… nothin’ crazy. That’s all she seems to want anyway. Hearing how she talks to you… I don’t want ‘em here anymore than you do but this is the best solution. You had plans or somethin’?” 

“No, no… I just didn’t… I didn’t even know I was invited to the Jordan Family Thanksgiving dinner,” she chuckled, pulling at the sleeve of her jacket awkwardly.  

Michael’s face twisted up in confusion. “Of course you’re invited. Moms would kill me if I didn’t. But yea I guess I should’ve asked if you had plans first. What do you usually do?”  

“Nothing.” 

“Nothing?” 

“Nothing. I order Chinese and I pick a marathon of movies to watch in bed. Same with Christmas except I usually pick a new recipe to try and I always watch the Grinch,” she chuckled. 

“You spend Thanksgiving and Christmas alone?” 

She shrugged and gestured toward her phone. “If you had to pick between alone and that, which would you choose?” At his silence, she nodded. “Exactly. They never want to see me anyway so I make it easy on everyone.” 

“Well, this year’s gonna be different.” 

Raven scoffed. “How so?” 

Michael closed the distance between them and rested his hands on her hips. “Well, one, you’ll have me, which means your family will be on their best behavior. If they aren’t, two, you have me and my family as a buffer. And three, you have me… and I ain’t gon’ tolerate disrespect like that in my house. You say the word and dinner’s over.” 

“You can’t kick people out of your house for me,” she whispered, her eyes avoiding the intense stare in his. 

“Who says I can’t? Thought I’d made that clear by now that I’d do anything for you. And when you’re with me, I’m not just gon’ protect you physically… all of you is safe with me.” 

Those walls she threw up? Already starting to crash down around her. Why does he do this to me?? And why can’t I resist it? She thought to herself as she looked at him. 

“Thank you. But hopefully, they’ll be on their best behavior and then who knows, maybe they’ll see your family and want to turn a new leaf? This could be good?” In her heart, she knew that would not be how this particular story played out but she had to try… had to hope and dream that it could be different. She studied him for a sign that he agreed, and believed her. But he offered her nothing but a peck on the forehead. 

“Yea, maybe.” 

They stood there for a moment before Raven felt the overwhelming urge to run again. She hated this feeling… the contrasting emotions of wanting to melt into him and run from him at full speed. 

“D-do you think Allen would mind taking me home?” 

“I thought you were gonna stay with me tonight?” 

“Yea but I thought we were going to the condo… you want me to stay the night… here?” 

“I just thought after last week…” he stopped himself. “Here is just more comfortable than the condo. Besides, ma asked if you could stay for dinner so she can meet you. Wouldn’t want to disappoint her, would you?” At her continued expression of speculation, Michael added. “She also has been buggin’ the hell outta me to meet you so honestly, you’d be savin’ my ass.” 

Raven smiled and nodded. There was not anything but wallowing and frustration waiting for her back at her own apartment. And she had loved falling asleep in Michael’s arms during the last week. She was not ready to fall asleep alone again. 

“Just remember that next time you’re punishing me,” she winked at him. 

“Deal.” 

***

“Bakari!” Donna called over to Michael who was standing outside with his dad overseeing the fried turkey for dinner. 

“What’s up, ma?” He jogged over to her as she continued moving around the kitchen. Michael had offered, as he did every year, to have dinner catered but his mother could not dream of not cooking Thanksgiving dinner with her own two hands. Michael never pressed too hard though because he knew no caterer would ever beat his mom and dad’s cooking. 

“I think a certain girl needs your attention more than your father and that turkey,” she gestured toward Raven whose hands were filled with neatly folded napkins as she sat each one on each place setting around their giant farm style table. 

Michael’s eyes scanned over her body. He could see the tension in her shoulders but she had been tense since they woke up that morning. She had also been quiet all day, simply getting up and heading down to the kitchen to assist his mother. While she was more than happy for the help and it gave the two a chance to chat and bond, Michael knew Raven’s motives were not completely altruistic. She needed the distraction. 

“She’s setting the table, what’s wrong?” 

His mother lowered her voice. “She’s set and reset that table 5 times now in between asking me if I need help 100 times and apologizing for her family being late.” She gestured toward the pitcher which held a fall sangria for dinner. “Poor girl’s been on her feet helpin’ me all day and she’s a dream but she needs to relax. Pour her a drink, get her outta my kitchen, and make her sit down till dinner, please?” 

“Yes ma’am.” He kissed his mom on the cheek before quickly grabbing a glass and pouring a tall drink before walking over to her. 

“I think those napkins will be fine wherever you put them, baby girl,” he whispered in her ear, causing Raven to jump slightly. 

She clutched her chest, glancing down at the table setting and set of napkins in her hand. “Sorry… was in my own head. Something about it still doesn’t look right still,” she whispered as she started to rearrange the setting in front of her again. 

Michael eyed her for a moment before grabbing the things out of her hand and setting them down. He called for his sister to take over setting the table before grabbing Raven’s hand and pulling her behind him into his bedroom upstairs. He closed the door and handed her the glass. 

“Drink.” He instructed. 

Raven took a sip before lowering the glass again to hand back to him. 

“Nope, drink the whole thing and then tell me why you’re so scared.” 

“I’m not scared.” 

“Yea you are. Tell me why.” Michael wasn’t dumb. Raven had been off since her family landed in LA, more tense, quieter and not herself. He wished he could get the version of her from Paris back but that woman was buried deep beneath the seemingly never-ending bull her family put her through. 

Raven took another big gulp of the drink before sitting on the edge of Michael’s bed, her dress riding up her bare thighs slightly. His eyes sparked with lust but he tempered himself. That was not the point of bringing her up here. 

“I’m not… scared. That’s not what it is. I just… Well, first, I’m frustrated because they’re late. I explicitly told them 2 so they could meet everyone and chat and mingle and it’s almost 4. I spent over an hour on that damn charcuterie board. And they haven’t called me or texted or anything. And now your mom probably thinks I was raised by inconsiderate ass wolves.” 

“Rae, my mom doesn’t care in the slightest. Food wasn’t gonna be done at 2 anyway so they haven’t missed anything or messed up anything. And you know that. So what’s really bothering you? We aren’t leaving this room til you tell me.”

She sucked her teeth in annoyance before sighing. She knew he would make good on his promise not to let her leave until she was honest. 

“I’ve lived in LA for years. Did my masters out here, became a published author here, built a life here and you know how many times I’ve asked them to visit? And the first time they come, it's not even to see me. It’s to meet you. They’ve been in LA for 3 whole days… you know they haven’t made an effort to see me once? Never mind the fact that every restaurant they have a reservation to, we booked. Every excursion, you booked and paid for. And it shouldn’t bother me,” she whispered, throwing the entire drink back before wiping the corner of her lips. “It shouldn’t… bother me. Usually it doesn’t bother me. After all, this’s been it, my whole life. But since I met your family… I see how you are with them a-and I spend time with you all and it’s like breathing in rare fresh air? A-and I dunno, it just… the polluted air is a lot harder to breathe in than it used to be.”  

Since they returned from Paris, Raven had become a staple in the Jordan household. They still returned to the condo some nights after dates as it was often easier than getting back to his mansion in the hills. Raven had fallen in love with Michael’s family and it seemed his family had taken quite a liking to her as well. His nephew loved to have Raven read to him as she did the best silly voices, and she, his mom, and sister had already gone out without Michael for manis, pedis, and dinner - with his card, of course. 

Raven would never forget their first dinner the night they got back from Paris. She had been in such a bad mood but ten minutes at the table with Michael’s entire family had lightened her spirits significantly. His dad was charming and told stories that had Raven’s muscles aching from laughter; his mom so sweet and spent half the dinner asking questions about Raven’s book after having it finished it while they were away; his brother was quiet but he and Michael’s friendship made her heart want to melt; and his sister was witty and made Raven want to be her friend immediately. Everytime Raven spent time with them, they made her feel like part of the family. And she fell into it, despite her efforts to avoid it, with ease, like she had been part of the fabric for years. It caused some guilt to swell as she remembered that the girl they loved so much was a lie and that she and Michael were deceiving them. However, as her own family continued to disappoint her, it was nice to be a part of something so pure and loving. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Michael’s sister poked her head into the room. “But your family’s car just pulled up.” 

Raven immediately stood up and handed the wine glass back to Michael. She went over to the full-length mirror in his room to adjust her outfit and ensure she looked perfect before putting on the most forced smile Michael had ever seen grace her lips. 

“Come on, we shouldn’t keep them waiting.” 

Michael grabbed her arm to stop her as she tried to walk around him. 

“I told myself I’d stay out of it… your family, your rules. But word of advice, if you’ll let me?” When she said nothing, he continued. “People treat you how you allow them. And just because you’ve allowed this disregard for 30 years doesn’t mean you have to allow it now or that you deserve it. It hurts more now because you know you deserve more. And you’ve experienced more. So demand more.” 

“And if they don’t give it?” Raven’s voice broke slightly with that question because she knew what his answer would be, what she should have done many years ago but did not have the courage to do.  

“Somethin’ isn’t always better than nothin’. Especially when that somethin’ is just dead weight you have to drag around behind you. No one ever got far with dead weight.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, Raven desperately wanting to melt into him and the comfort he provided. He laced his fingers in hers and kissed her hand. “That’s all I’m gonna say. We’re gonna have a good time, promise. You’re with me so you know I gotchu. You ready?” 

“Yea, I think so,” she smiled at him before following him out of his room and downstairs. 

As they descended the stairs, she was unsurprised to find the deep baritone of her father filling the foyer of Michael’s mansion as he greeted everyone. Raven fixed her face to maintain a smile as she and Michael finally made it to the bottom of the stairs. She could feel her sister’s eyes studying her, taking in her designer dress, the signature red bottoms of her heels, and the diamond necklace and earrings glistening against her skin that Michael had bought her in Paris. It may have been a role, but Raven could not lie, she enjoyed dressing the part of a movie star’s girlfriend more than she thought she would. A petty part of her also did not hate the way her sister’s nose seemed to flare with jealousy at it. 

“How y’all doin? I’m Michael?” Michael stepped forward and offered her father and sister a hug. 

Raven’s eyes narrowed as her sister tried to linger in the very chaste hug Michael offered. Neither of them acknowledged her as they introduced themselves to Michael and his family, Raven awkwardly teetering on her heels behind him. 

“It’s so great to meet you, son. Loved that Tom Clancy movie of yours. Watch it all the time,” her dad boasted as if he was Michael’s greatest fan. 

Raven rolled her eyes behind Michael, knowing how much he hated when the first thing out of someone’s mouth when he meets them is their favorite role of his. 

“Thank you, thank you. That was a fun one.” Michael reached behind him and pulled Raven to his side. He protectively tucked her under his arm and smiled down at her. “Great girl you have here.” 

“Hey dad,” Raven offered, stepping forward to accept the half hug her father offered. She knew it was merely for show but she accepted it anyway. “Kiara,” her tone made her seem far more excited to see both of them than she was. But unlike her family, she was painfully aware of the studious eyes of Michael’s family watching them. And while their foundation had cracks the size of the Grand Canyon in it, she did not want Michael’s family to see them. 

Her sister could not even stop eye fucking Michael long enough to give her a hug. She merely nodded in her direction. 

Michael, thankfully, ended the awkward silence between the family members by gesturing for everyone to follow him to the kitchen. There, the island was heavily laden with food that his mom deemed ready to serve. Everyone grabbed serving dishes and started helping move things to the table. Seeing an opportunity to grab her father and her sister, Raven pulled them off to the side for a moment while Michael’s family got ready for dinner. 

There was an awkward silence as the three of them stood in Michael’s living room before Raven found her voice again. She did not know why she was nervous, this was her family after all. 

“Just wanted to see how the trip’s going? A-and ask if y’all had plans tomorrow. Thought maybe, you could come see my apartment? And then maybe we could go hiking to the Hollywood sign, it’s such a nice view of the city. And Michael got us all reservations at a new Japanese spot tomorrow night.” 

Kiara turned her nose up at the mere idea. “Hiking?? No. Dad’s taking me shopping tomorrow on Rodeo Drive. It’ll probably take up the whole day, sorry. But dinner with Michael sounds good.” 

Raven’s heart deflated a bit. Another outstretched hand pushed away. “Oh… yea of course. Shopping sounds fun. Maybe I could meet you all?” 

“That’s ok. We know you’re busy,” her dad interjected, waving his hand to dismiss her suggestion. 

“Oh… well, it’s just… you leave Saturday, I wanted to spend some time with y’all before you leave? I tried calling you both, I haven’t seen you all week. I invited you all out here, thought we’d get to at least spend a little time together before you leave.” 

“We’re spending time together right now. We’ve been really busy. We came to meet Michael and enjoy the city. That’s what we’ve been doing. Besides, we all know Michael paid for us to come, not you.”

Raven scoffed, already frustrated and they had not been there for more than 5 minutes. She regretted everything about this plan. Her time with Michael’s family, this sanctuary she had found with them in his home, now felt tainted as if their mere presence had poisoned that sweet, fresh air. She knew she should have been more excited to see them, after all, it had been longer than she could remember since she saw them in the flesh. But now, that small part of her that never wanted to see them again only seemed to get larger and larger with every moment she stood in their presence. 

Why do you even bother?

“Oh, should I start itemizing everything I’ve paid for in the last decade? Is that the best way to get yall to, you know, actually care to spend time with me? I mean I’ve been asking y’all to come out this way for years. I just thought… since we haven’t really seen each other in a while, this could be a good chance to reconnect. But shopping is more important than me, everything seems to be,” she muttered more to herself than to them. Before her sister could cut in with another smart comment, Raven added. “Can you make sure to thank Michael for this trip you’re enjoying so much? He really went all out of y’all.”

“You don’t need to lecture me on good manners, Raven. I did raise you both,” her father spoke up, clearly annoyed and bored of this conversation. 

Raven bit down the retort that she was not sure please and thank you were even phrases in their vocabulary and just nodded. 

“Is that all?” her sister asked cooly. 

“Yea, yea that’s all.” 

Both of them immediately left to return to the dining room where Michael’s family gathered, leaving Raven in the living room. She let out a deep shaky breath as a welcomed face popped out around the corner. However, she cringed slightly, fearful that he heard that entire exchange. 

She walked over to him, Michael immediately pulling her into a tight embrace. Her head thudded against his chest. “Please tell me you didn’t hear any of that.” 

“Don’t think me lying to you is gonna make you feel any better.” His fingers brushed aside the curls that spilled into her face. .

His hand rubbed soothing circles into her back before he kissed her on the top of her head. This time Raven did not even attempt to shy away, she fully melted into his embrace, at least as much as she could without breaking down. 

“Say the word and they’re gone,” he reminded her, leaning back so he could look in her eyes. 

Raven could tell he was completely serious, that he would kick both of them out without a second thought or a care. However, she knew that was not a possibility. 

“As much as I hate it, we need them, remember?” She sighed. “For once, I do actually need them. So I’m gonna do what I’ve always done.”

“And what’s that?” 

She shrugged, pulling herself out of his embrace. “Suffer through it.” She answered simply. 

“Anything I can do to help?” 

“Keep my glass full,” she answered bluntly. “I can already tell it’s gonna be a long fucking afternoon.”

***

“So Kiara, what do you do?” Donna asked as she sat down from transitioning the dinner dishes out and replacing them with dessert. 

Raven did not know how she was going to eat the slice of apple pie Michael cut for her. Everything had been so delicious, she had eaten two plates and would have gotten a third if her sister had not made a backhanded, loud compliment about her food and her figure. While she could count the number of plates she had eaten with ease, the same could not be said for the glasses of sangria. 

She had not lied when she said she needed it. Tipsy Raven cared far less about her sister’s consistent jabs to make her feel inferior and puff herself up to Michael nor did she care about how her father objectively ignored her for the entire dinner. He talked of her and around her but not once did he direct a question or comment to her. She could not tell which slight bothered her more, the disrespect or the disregard.  

“I was doing hair for a while but I really love to cook so I’m going back to school to be a chef.” 

Everyone around the table offered the appropriate congratulations and well wishes while Raven merely smiled and stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Kiara changed career paths about as often as she changed boyfriends, which was damn near monthly. Being a chef was just another way to throw her dad and Raven’s money down the toilet. 

“Once I finish school, maybe you can float some clients my way? My dream is to be a personal chef.” 

Raven downed her glass before filling it again. She found that drinking was the only way to stop herself from commenting on everything they did that frustrated her. However, that was an incredibly foolish drinking game to play. Because everything they did today seemed to frustrate her, every slight seemed amplified now that it was in the presence of Michael and his family. Each one fueled that anger she often ignored and suppressed. She should have known this was coming, that they would try to ask him for favors. She didn’t even ask him for favors. All they did was take and it was one thing to do that to her, but Michael did not deserve it. 

You don’t deserve it either, a small voice that sounded oddly like the man sitting next to her reminded her. 

“Maybe finish school first before you start chatting up my man for clients,” Raven teased, keeping her tone light and playful though she knew Kiara could see the lack of amusement in her eyes. 

“Well, we all gotta start somewhere right? Can’t all be big time like you, sis?” 

Raven smiled, “Well, you can be if you work hard… and don't rely on boyfriends, dad and I for everything,” she added the last part under her breath, however, she knew her sister could hear her. Michael’s hand went to rest of her thigh as if he could sense the change in her demeanor and mood almost immediately. 

“Oh we loved Raven’s book,” Donna offered, transitioning the conversation away from her sister. “Such a talented and vivid writer. I probably talked the poor girl’s ear off when we first met about it. Was she always like that?” 

Raven’s dad chuckled. “Yea she always had her nose buried in a book or a notebook writing somethin. She used to write these little short stories, got a drawer full of ‘em back at the house.” 

“That’s so sweet. I’m not much of a fantasy reader,” Donna admitted. “But she had me hooked from the first chapter. Such a beautiful story.” 

“Yea the book was really great,” he added lamely, unable to offer much beyond that because, as Raven knew, he had not read her book. “I always encouraged them both to follow their dreams, great to see her accomplish so much.” 

Something about hearing him talk about her passion, her life’s work, the thing she tolled and fought for and had to give up, as if he cared about it at all made all those years of suppressed rage finally boil over. She could suffer through a lot, it was true, but she could not listen to that, listen to him lie and pretend to be supportive or caring when he was nothing of the sort. And now, she did not even care who knew it. This was simply not a piece of fiction she would allow him to sell.  

“What was your favorite part of the book, dad?” Raven had not said much throughout dinner, allowing her sister to monopolize most of the conversation. However, it seemed as though Michael was the only person who realized the unfortunate turn their Thanksgiving dinner was about to take. He leaned in closer to her, quietly whispering in her ear but he knew his sweet nothings meant just that at this point: nothing. She was too far gone to hear them or register them. Her body felt as if it was almost vibrating with rage. He wished he could take her outside and give her a few plates to smash but he knew his mom would not appreciate that. 

“Oh all of it. Whole thing was great.” 

“Huh…” she muttered, taking a long gulp of her drink before reaching for the pitcher to refill it. “Who’s your favorite character?” 

“Maybe we should slow down on…” Michael quietly whispered in her ear, subtly trying to beat her to the pitcher but she grabbed it first and poured another large glass. She raised her hand to stop his sentence. 

“Didn’t realize there’d be a pop quiz,” he let out a deep chuckle as the tension around the table grew to levels that were impossible to ignore. 

“Not a pop quiz. Just tell me one thing about the book you loved so much and encouraged me to write. Favorite plot twist, favorite scene, favorite character… hell, name one character you remember at all?”

“What the fuck, Rae? What’s your problem?” 

Raven let out a humorless laugh as she leaned back in her seat. She downed her entire drink in one go, sitting the glass down before folding her arms casually. 

“What’s my problem? What’s my problem? Right now, my problem is this fiction you’re spinning as if you give a rat’s ass about my book, my career, or me when if someone put a gun to your head, you wouldn’t be able to tell them the name of my book, let alone anything about it. My problem is the fact that I invited you all here to spend time with me, my boyfriend, and his family, all for you to ignore me for most of dinner. My problem is that you wax poetic about stories I wrote as a kid when, if you had ever bothered to read a single one of them, you would have seen a child writing herself into literally any other world and family to escape the pitiful one she had. I have a lot of problems, too many to list right now. But the common denominator in all of them is you two.” 

Everyone’s movements and side conversations halted at her outburst. The silence and her deep breaths were only interrupted by Michael’s brother accidentally dropping his fork against his dinner china, the loud clanging filling everyone’s ears as they stared at Raven and her father.

She was not one to start a scene or draw attention to herself. But she could not let any of this go on for another moment. 

“Baby… why don’t we take a break for a minute?” Michael asked, standing to pull her chair out. Raven knew that if she sat there for a minute longer, she’d lose whatever little composure she had left, so she forced herself to heed Michael’s advice. She wiped her lips and immediately threw her napkin down on the table to stand and leave. 

“Excuse me.” 

However, as she turned around, she heard her father’s voice. 

“I didn’t mean to cause an issue. I tried my best with her and Kiara but you know, some kids are just harder to handle than others.”

As soon as those words hit her ears, she exploded. Before she even realized it, she had returned to the table and was leaning over it yelling at her father. 

“‘You tried your best??’ YOU TRIED YOUR BEST? You never tried! All you’ve done is give the bare minimum and suffer through my presence like I’m was a fuckin’ pest you couldn’t get rid of!” 

“You think you can talk to me that way? I’m still your father! All I’ve ever done is love you and take care of you.” 

Raven scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. Michael shifted so he was standing behind her, an arm wrapped around her waist as if to stop her from jumping across the table. It was not that he thought she would actually do anything, baby girl did not seem like the scrapping type. But he prayed his presence would calm her down if nothing else. This was a side of her he had never seen before. He could not lie, it was kinda sexy, seeing her finally stick up for herself and be assertive. 

In a part of her brain that felt distant and detached, she could feel Michael’s presence, hear his soft whispers to calm down. And she knew and appreciated what he was trying to do: stop her from doing something she’d ultimately regret. But at that moment, she did not know if she wanted to be stopped.

“All you’ve ever done is give me scraps! Scraps of support, scraps of your attention, but not an ounce of your love or affection. All to punish me for the sin of being born.” She had always bought into her family’s narrative that she was to blame for what happened. But it was as if the small voice that nagged at her her entire life was finally roaring. This was not her fault. No part of it was. “You can’t be mad at God for that shitty situation and you won’t be mad at mom for making her choice. So for 30 years, I’ve endured you hating me because you needed someone to be mad at. When you ignored birthday after birthday and accomplishment after accomplishment and need after need, I persisted in trying to win your love and win your affection. When you threw me out and cut me off after one year of college, I dusted myself off and kept going. When you rebuffed every attempt to reconnect and build a new relationship, I kept reaching out, kept trying. When you ignored me on every holiday and at every visit and everything, I still showed up. And when you ask for everything I have despite not deserving a cent of it, I give it. Every single time. Even after I lost my book deal last year and my career and didn’t know how I was gonna pinch pennies together for rent, I put myself and my needs last to help you two every single fuckin’ time. And you both expect me to be gracious for scraps while I kill myself to give you the Sun, Moon and stars and you take and you take and you take without so much as a thank you.” Every ‘take’ punctured by her hand slamming down on the farm-style dining table. “It’s not enough and I refuse to spend the next 30 years pretending it is. I’m done!” 

“God, you’re such an embarrassment,” Kiara muttered. 

“Oh fuck you, Kiara!” She cried out. “You miserable, attention-seeking bitch. You can say whatever you want about me but unlike you, I made something of my life and I did it all on my own. Meanwhile, you float through life without a single responsibility or thing to your name that someone else didn’t give you. And you can’t stand the fact that my life, despite both of your best efforts, is better than yours.” 

“Wow. Nice to know how you really feel about your family.” 

“I’ve never had a family. You both made damn sure of that. You want me out of your lives so bad? Fine. I’m out. Let’s see how far both of you get without taking from me. Get out. Both of you.” 

Raven had no authority to kick someone out of a house that was not even hers but she could not hope to care. She knew Michael would not argue with her or lobby for them to stay after she just cussed them out six ways to Sunday in front of his entire family. 

“You can’t kick us out!” 

“Yes she can,” Michael piped up, speaking for the first time since the blow up began. 

The intense stare down continued before her father and sister angrily stood up and stalked to the door. 

“And Kiara!” Her sister stopped walking to turn around to her. “Say another word about me or my relationship to the media and I won’t hesitate to tell this entire world what a shitty person and sister you are. See how your friends like that story then.”

Her sister merely glared at her before stomping out of the house behind their father. As soon as she heard the door shut, Raven felt the adrenaline in her system crash and the weight of what just happened set in. 

What the fuck did you just do? And in front of Michael’s family? 

She let out a shaky breath as a wave of shame hit her. “U-Um… I am… I am s-so so so sorry,” she whispered. She rang her hands together, unable to make eye contact with anyone in the room. She had not felt this embarrassed in a long time. “I-I should go too.” She pulled herself away from Michael and tried to race toward the door, ignoring his calls for her to stay. However, before she could leave the dining room, Michael’s mom stopped her. 

She grabbed the young woman’s hands and patted them softly. 

“No, no you aren’t. No one leaves my table till dessert is over. You’re gonna sit and finish your pie with family.” 

The tears brimming in Raven’s eyes spilled over. 

“I-I’m sorry for r-ruining dinner.” 

The older woman laughed. “That ain’t the first blow up this family’s seen at a dinner table… won’t be the last. Go on and sit down.” 

She steered Raven’s body back into Michael’s arms who pulled back her chair for her to sit. She ate her pie in silence, conversation flowing with ease around her. The Jordans acted as if her meltdown was just par the course, though she knew they were likely just trying to make her feel better. But still, she appreciated it. Within 15 minutes of eating dessert, the mood across the table felt lighter and easier than it had all day. Raven calmed down enough to laugh and joke. By the end of several rounds of drinks and a very rowdy spades game to cap off the evening, Raven’s heart and soul also felt lighter than they had in years.  

However, that quickly ended when she and Michael finally retreated to his suite for the evening. She collapsed onto the edge of his bed and kicked off her shoes, her movements sluggish and slow as if the weight of what she had done was finally creeping on her now that she was alone. 

“I’m… alone,” she whispered to herself. 

“What?” Michael crouched down in front of her, her eyes misting over slightly as she realized the truth. 

“I’ve always been alone for the most part… after my grandma died. And I couldn’t keep a relationship going for long ever. It’s always just been… me. But it was ok because even though they were awful, I still had… family a-and there was still hope that it could be something. But now… now I have no one cause they’ll never come around after what I said to them.” She rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand. “I don’t regret it, I was holding on to something that just wasn’t ever gonna be anything. But the dead weight was… something? Didn’t expect how empty I’d feel without it.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “It’s stupid,” she whispered. “Sorry.” She cleared her throat and stood up to walk to his bathroom. “Give me a minute to get my life together and then we can do what you actually pay me for and not this sad shit.”  

Michael watched as she dapped her eyes in the mirror to rid them of tears before she reached behind her and pulled down the zipper of her dress. She looked gorgeous, her body clad in another one of her lingerie sets from Paris. This one was a nude brown that perfectly matched her skin. He knew she was merely trying to use sex to move on and forget, and he would oblige. But he could not do so without saying one thing.

“You have me.” It was not a question, but a firm statement. A matter of fact statement that left no room for arguments or questions. 

Raven’s hands paused as she tried to fix her hair for a few minutes. She turned and smiled at him, closing the distance between them. 

“Yea I have you… But this’ll end and you’ll find the right girl for you and then…”she shook her head, not wanting to think about that: being alone or being without him. “Thank you… for today.” 

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Usually, Michael initiated their kisses and they were domineering, hurried and passionate. While this moment held the same passion, it was slow and measured, each second inching past them. And Raven used every second to convey what her simple thank you could not. She prayed he felt it and appreciated it, because at that moment, the small action was all she had left to give. She did not have the energy for grand speeches or words. 

She broke off their kiss and slid down to her knees, assuming the same position she did almost every time they had sex.

However, tonight, Michael decided he needed something different, that she needed something different. His finger gently lifted her chin so her eyes were on him.  

“You take care of me every time we have sex. Let me take care of you for once.” 

He did not let her question it as he helped her to her feet and led her to his bed, gently pushing her down. She let out a dramatic huff that made him chuckle. 

He stood over her for a moment, his eyes taking in the hills of her breasts, the soft panes of her stomach, her thick plush thighs. He often found himself just staring at her and this moment was no different, moments where he wanted to commit her beauty to memory, burn her image in his brain matter. 

“You are fuckin’ gorgeous,” he whispered. “You know how beautiful you are?” he asked as he sucked on the skin of her neck. 

She turned her head, giving him more access to the skin of her neck as he sucked and bit. She whimpered slightly as his kisses moved down her body, savoring the taste of her soft supple skin. He took his time, however, this felt completely different than when he teased her. Then, he was purposefully avoiding giving her what she wanted. Now, her moans created the roadmap he followed. His lips and hands lingered where she needed them to, only pausing to shower her with praises. As his kisses continued, Raven lost all control of her senses, of the world around her. Everything else, the pain and emotions of the day faded away as every thought in her mind and every cell in her physical body turned their focus on him.

“I love everything about you. The way you moan, the way you beg me for more, the face you make when I make you cum.”

“Michael, please,” she whimpered.  

He paused his ministrations and grasped her chin with a featherlike touch, her eyes focusing on him. 

“I’m gonna take care you, I promise. Always. Trust me.” He hoped that the look in his eyes conveyed the truth, that her pleasure was not the only part of her he would take care of. He would worship and care for her mind, body, and spirit. 

His fingers hooked into her lace panties and slid them off, settling between her plush thighs for his favorite meal of the day. Her eyes clenched shut as he spelled his adoration and love for her with his tongue on her clit. Michael had always been a generous lover but river always bent toward his pleasure. Every action, while it brought her pleasure, carried the reminder that it was not for her pleasure, it was for his. And she loved it, craved it, got off on it. It was one of the benefits of the arrangement to her. 

But it had been so long since she had had sex like this, where the river flowed toward her and only her, where someone was so committed to bringing her mind numbing pleasure and ensuring she knew she was cared for and safe. She knew why he was doing it, after seeing how unsafe she was with her own family. She knew it was not real but she could not close the gates to her heart fast enough and stop herself from feeling it, from enjoying it. Every touch was gentle and sweet and let her know she was safe in his arms, safe in his sanctuary. And even though she knew she could not stay there with him forever, she loved him even more for letting her in from the cold for a moment. 

Michael’s eyes never left her face as he devoured her, every moan, groan, and plea for mercy spurred him on. Her thighs clamped around his head as he pushed her farther and farther up her mountain to the peak of desire. He knew Raven’s body almost as well as he knew his own now, increasing his speed and efforts when he felt her legs shake and heard her moans grow louder. 

It did not take much longer for Raven to feel the snap of a powerful orgasm crash over her. She let out a continuous stream of praise and lewd words as she road those waves of sweet bliss. 

“That’s it, baby. Cum for me. Fuck, you taste so good.” He emerged from between her legs, kissing her deeply. 

He wrapped his arm around her waist and used his strength to hoist her farther up onto the bed. He placed her legs on his shoulders and lined himself up with her entrance. Raven offered him a raised eyebrow at the position choice, she could not remember the last time they did missionary on the bed like this. On creative surfaces, like tables? Sure. 

“I wanna look you in the eye when I make you cum. Keep your eyes on me, baby,” he whispered, Raven’s heart’s fluttering as she felt him fill her to the brim. 

“Fuckkkk,” she cried out as he drove into her deeply. Every stroke felt like heaven, a promised land he was so graciously sending her to. There was a vulnerability to the position that she had not expected, the way he looked at her with every thrust forward and retreat. 

“Look at me.” He demanded as her eyes fluttered closed. As soon as her eyes were trained on his, he uttered three words Raven never would have thought to hear from his lips. “I love you.” 

Raven was rendered speechless, her moans catching in her throat as she felt her stomach drop 100 stories. 

Did he say what I think he said? She thought to herself, her brain trying to cut through layers of pleasure fog to work properly. 

“You deserve the entire world, Rae. You deserve someone who’ll  give you this world… the sun, the moon, and the stars. And I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve this. But I’ll spend everything I have, I’ll give everything I am to make sure you got it. I want more than an arrangement and six months with you… I want you, all of you, for as long as you’ll allow me.” 

His words directly clashed with the narrative she had in her mind, the seeds of doubt life and her family had sowed. And despite her heart begging her to scream the words back at him, those doubts stopped her. She heard his words but she did not believe them or rather, she could not believe them.  

She did love him, she was so in love with him. It was a devastating, beautiful, painful, once-in-a-lifetime sort of love she thought she would only read in the pages of love stories. But she felt it… every devastatingly beautiful moment of it every time she was in his presence, every time she felt his touch, every time he comforted her or looked into her eyes. 

But the words, those three precious words, were stuck in her throat. A barrier of fear and doubt, made even heavier by the events of the day, weighed them down. Instead of celebrating that the man she so desperately loved felt the same about her, she could only focus on how that just could not simply be true. The story she had built in her mind that she was not good enough, that she did not deserve him, that he could never love her, a part of her brain clung to it as a lifeline. She had given Michael this grand speech about living and falling but she could not do it herself. Because if she gave in and  allowed him to love her, truly love her, and then this was all a lie? That was the crash she did not think she could survive. She could handle her family hurting her. It knocked her down but she could always get back up again. But Michael? He would be her armageddon. If he hurt her, she would not get back up again. 

The avalanche was hurling toward her once again, only this time she was standing at the bottom without a barrier or way to outrun it. She was mere feet away from being swept up by it and all the emotion and vulnerability it brought in its wake. The day had just been too much, too heavy. And emotionally, she had not been prepared for any of the twists and turns the day had brought. She suddenly felt overwhelmed, so out of control of everything, particularly her emotions, the one thing she usually had under control. 

She felt tears sting the back of her eyes but she knew they were not good tears, the tears Michael usually induced during sex. No, these were entirely different. She quickly realized she needed a break, a moment. And the only thing in this world that she could control in this particular moment was the man above her. He was the catalyst every single time, the cannon blast that started the avalanche, that forced her to feel everything all at once. And she needed that to stop. She needed him to stop. 

“Wakanda…” she choked out, her voice as broken and small as she felt. 

She did not have a chance to repeat it as Michael immediately stopped his movements in mid stroke, his face stricken and concerned. 

“Shit.” He slid out of her without a second thought  and braced himself over her, shocked to find tears streaming down her face, her body trembling. He  immediately grabbed the blanket that was hanging half off the bed, wrapping her nude form tightly in it. “Hey, hey. You’re ok, you’re ok. You’re having a panic attack. Deep breaths for me.”

Raven curled into a small ball under the blanket, gasping for breath. Michael pressed her hand into his chest. 

“Focus on me, baby girl. That’s it. Deep breaths.” 

She closed her eyes and focused on the faint thumps of his heart in his chest, the way it rose and fell against her hand as she tried to sync up her breathing to his. He held tightly to her hand as she took long deep breaths. It felt like hours passed before either of them moved, before she felt calm enough to speak, but she knew it had likely only been a few minutes. 

“First a concussion,” she wiped her tears. “And now, a panic attack. I must be the worst woman you’ve ever had sex with,” she let out a watery chuckle. 

“Or the best?” he offered in a voice so gentle and quiet, it made a new set of tears well up in her eyes. She did not deserve him. “What happened? Did I hurt you?” 

She shook her head. “N-no, you d-didn’t. I j-just couldn’t… you can’t look at me l-like that o-or keep doing stuff l-like this. Pretending you love me just to make me feel b-better.” She shook her head rapidly. “I know you feel obligated to be g-gentle and shit when I’m having a bad day. But i-it’s just confusing. I know t-this isn’t real a-and I c-cant take anyone else pretending to love me or care about me when they r-really don’t.”  

“I’ve never done anything for you that I didn’t want to do, Raven. I’m not kind and gentle with you because I feel obligated. I’m kind and gentle because I want to be, because you deserve it. Do you find yourself so undeserving of all these things that it is that hard to believe that I’m in love with you? That I do all this shit for you because this is real to me??” 

“There’s no way that is true! You don’t love me!” She argued. 

“Yes I do!” 

Raven wanted to pull her hair out and scream at him. “Stop saying that! W-we are just fantasies to each other, Michael! P-playing a role that the other needs filled and j-just because the fantasy is nice, doesn’t mean I should kid myself into believing it is real. You’ll toss me aside as soon as this agreement is done because everything you feel is based on a fantasy!”

“You aren’t some fantasy to me, Raven!” 

“Fine! Not a fantasy! But everything we are is conditional… even you have to admit that. I mean we have a fuckin’ contract! Everything we are is based on me fulfilling those conditions! You can dress me up like a girlfriend but I know what I am when the cameras go away, Michael. I’m the girl you met in a hotel who was paid to fuck you!” 

He jumped off the bed and grabbed his phone, thrusting it into her hand. “Robert Pearson. Call him.” 

“W-who is that?” she asked, completely bewildered by the change in the conversation. 

“He’s one of the top reporters at TMZ. Call him, call him right now and tell him this whole thing is a fuckin’ sham. Hell, want me to start an Instagram live for you so you can tell the whole fucking world? I’ll do it.” 

She threw the phone back on the bed and stood up, wrapping the blanket around her like a dress. “I’m not gonna fucking call anyone or do that!” 

“But you could! That’s my point! You could call TMZ right now and tell him this whole thing was a sham, sell a fuckin’ tell all and I’d still love you. I’d honestly thank you for it because then I wouldn’t have to pretend I only love you because of some arrangement. I could admit that I love you for you. I love you for your vulnerability, your spirit, the fact that you give and you give and expect nothing in return and don’t even stop giving all of yourself when everyone else would. I love that you talk in fuckin’ sonnets and monologues. I love your relentless optimism and hope. I love your smile, the way you can’t look someone in the eye when they compliment you but it lights up your entire being. I love that you’ve got a wild imagination and you're quirky and funny and…” he threw his hands up in the air. “I. Love. You. I am in love with you. You can keep telling me to stop saying it, you can ignore it, pretend you don’t hear it, you can reject it. But it won’t change it. I love you. No conditions, no expectations. Just you for you. The question is do you love me?” he demanded. 

“It’s not that simple!” She tried to move around him but he blocked her way. She needed to get out of her, needed to escape this chaos. “Move, Michael.” 

“No! It is that simple. Do you love me? Forget everythin’ else. What you think you do and don’t deserve. Do. You. Love. Me?” 

“Of course, I fuckin’ love you!” she cried out. “I fell in love with you the morning I woke up with a concussion and you were sitting in my hospital room. I love you! But t-there’s… no one loves me like that. What you’re claiming to feel… no one feels that for me a-and there’s no way that you, a man who could get any one of the billions of women on this planet, would be the first. There’s no way you would settle for loving me.” She let out a deep sigh. “A-and my heart can’t take it… I can’t take the rejection and pain from people I love who don’t love me back anymore. I c-can’t. Which means I can’t believe that you love me. I’ve taken all I can take a-and if I accept that you love me, then I risk you rejecting o-or hurting me. And when you do, it’ll kill me.” The last word hung in the air as she sank down to the floor by his bed, her head buried in her hands. 

Michael settled down on the floor next to her, his hand grasping hers as he intertwined their fingers. There was so much to unpack in her words, so much that he knew he would not be able to convince her of or solve in one night. But there was one thing he knew he could assure her of right then and there. 

“There were a hundred ways I could’ve spun what happened between us that first night, hundreds of ways I could’ve dealt with you that would not have led us to this moment. But I chose the road I chose, not so I could have a body to use or fix a crisis. But because you stole my soul the moment you turned around in that hotel room. Loving you isn’t fuckin’ settling, it’s everythin’ I’ve wanted for damn near a decade but didn’t think I could have again. We’ve been standing on the edge of this cliff, waiting for the other to be ready to jump for months now. And I’m ready and you’re holdin’ on for dear fuckin’ life. I’m askin’ you to let go and trust that I won’t hurt you. I know that’s scary… shit I’m scared too. But I’m willing to jump if you are.” His thumb wiped away her falling tears before kissing her on the forehead. “I’m not lookin’ for an answer tonight, love. I know today… this week’s been a lot for you. I didn’t mean to add another thing on top of all the other shit, I just… needed you to know how I felt.” 

“Don’t… don’t apologize. I-I j-just got overwhelmed b-by everything. It’s been a day of unexpected emotional confessions,” she chuckled. “I…” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m really scared. Scared of being hurt, scared of falling even more in love with you a-and another good thing being taken from me. B-But I want this for real with you too. I don’t wanna keep pretending what we have isn’t real when we know it is. If you’re ready to jump, so am I. And we can just be scaredy cats while we fall together?” 

He pulled her into his lap and pressed his lips to hers softly. “Not a fan of you callin’ me a  scaredy cat,” he teased. “But yea. I meant it when I told you, you’re safe with me. All of you. And I’ll do whatever I gotta do to make sure you believe that shit.” 

Her heart fluttered a bit. She knew he meant his words. If there was one thing she had always been with Michael, it was safe. And she adored that about him. 

“I love you,” she whispered. 

“I love the way that shit sounds. Say it again.” . 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” her lips tugged upward into a grin as he started peppering her face with kisses and having her repeat the phrase over and over again. He picked them both off the ground and continued kissing her and causing her to giggle as he placed her back in bed. 

He settled her under the covers and pulled her tightly into his arms. Their legs were quickly tangled in each other’s as she laid her head on his chest. They laid there in silence for a while before Raven sat up. As much as she enjoyed cuddling in his arms, Raven wanted more. Emboldened by their confessions of love, she pushed herself to her knees and straddled his hips. 

“You used your safe word. We ain’t gotta…” she pressed a finger to his lips stopping him. 

“I know what I want and need, Bakari,” she whispered, using his nickname, which was only reserved for family and close friends for the first time. Michael was not much of a crier but hearing his nickname on her lips made his heart skip one or two beats, made tears sting the back of his eyes.  “And I want you. You showed me how much you loved me… now let me show you.” She gave him a sly smirk before shifting between his legs to taste him. 

The pair lost track of how many times they moaned or screamed those three magic words to each other. But by the time they were finished, their bodies a tangled mess of limbs and bodily fluid, Raven knew, in her heart, that his words were true. And so she fell asleep nestled in his warm embrace, feeling true happiness with anther person for the first time in her life.

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r

***

A/N: The babes finally confessed their love for each other!!! Woohoo! How do you think our two lovebirds make the jump from fake romance to a real relationship? Thank you for reading! Drop a comment and let me know what you thought :)

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #michael b jordan x reader #mbjordanedit #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

[specialagentlokitty]

Eggsy x reader - crush at first sight

Hello! Could I request an Eggsy from Kingsman x reader with this dialogue "You come here often?" "Well, I work here. So I think I would have to say yes"?Only if you want to of course! 😄 - Anon💜

Walking down the hallways, you glanced at your watch as you picked up your pace a little bit to try and make it in time for your meeting.

You were running late as it was, and you didn’t want to be anymore late than necessary.

You turned the corner, all but crashing into somebody who was heading in the same direction and he grabbed your arms, spinning you around so you landed on him.

He let out a grunt of pain as he hit the floor, and you rolled off him, standing up as you held out your hand to him.

“I’m terribly sorry!”

The man grinned at you a little bit, and he took your hand to stand up, brushing down his suit.

He wore a cocky smirk on his face as he glanced you up and down.

“Are you lost?”

“Nope, I know exactly where I’m going.”

You offered him a smile and carried on your path, and he jogged after you, falling in line with your steps.

“What’s your name?”

“Need to know basis.”

“Okay, what if I told you mine?”

You glanced at the man next to you, you recognised him immediately, he was the recruit your uncle had brought in not long ago.

“You come here often?”

You glanced at him as you stopped outside the door you needed, and you smirked a little, looking him up and down like he had done to you.

“Well, I work here. So I think I would have to say yes.”

With that, you pushed open the door and walked inside, and he trailed behind you.

“I see you finally met Eggsy.” Merlin said.

You nodded, walking over to stand next to him.

Merlin placed his hand on your shoulder, handing you a paper file.

“This is of the upmost importance, we cannot leave any digital trace, will you read this while I get Eggsy up to date on everything?” He asked.

You looked up at him, smiling softly.

“Of course.”

You sat down, opening the file to go through everything that had been collected and put together for you.

You set the file down, picking up a few of the photos of the targets you had been given.

You could hear Merlin and Eggsy talking by the doorway, having a hushed conversation and the whole time Eggsy’s eyes were on you.

You heard the sound of somebody being smacked, and a yelp of pain.

“If you know what’s good for you Eggsy I know suggest that you stop looking at (Y/N) like that.”

“Like what?! I wasn’t looking at her any way!” Eggsy complained.

Merlin walked over, taking a seat next to you, picking up one of the photos.

“It will be a simple recon mission, you are not to engage, do you understand me?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“Look at me.”

You turned to Merlin, and he furrowed his brows a little bit.

“Promise me you will not engage the target.”

“I promise.”

He nodded his head.

“You’ll be working with Eggsy.”

Eggsy walked over, taking the file he was handed so he could go through it as well.

You spent the next hour talking about plans of action, what to do in an emergency, if you’ve been made as agents.

You covered every possible worst case scenario and finally you stood up.

“Eggsy get ready, meet me in an hour.”

“Wait, I thought we took orders from Merlin?”

“Aw how cute you’re so stupid.”

You walked across the room to grab Merlin’s laptop and walked back over with it, setting it down.

“(Y/N) outranks you by many years Eggsy.”

“Seriously? Aren’t we the same age?”

“You could call it the family business.” You shrugged.

You went to grab your travel bag, and you made your way back to the room to wait for the other agent who came through not long later.

He set his bag next to yours and stood in front of you and Merlin.

“Be safe, both of you.”

“We will.” You both said.

You turned around to check your bag over once more.

“Oh, and Eggsy?”

The man hummed a little bit.

“If you try make a move on my daughter I will know and it will end badly for you.”

“Daughter?!”

You laughed loudly, walking over to Merlin and you wrapped him in a hug.

“Love you dad, thanks for that. I’m going to put up with this now.”

“Love you too, and I know, it’s punishment for putting salt in my tea last week. Now go, before you miss your train.”

You nodded, grabbing your bag as you walked into the hallway and Eggsy was already running after you asking as many questions as he possible could

#kingsman #kingsman x reader #kingsman x you #kingsman imagine #Eggsy #Eggsy x reader #Eggsy x you #Eggsy imagine

[philhoffman]

In lieu of a Monday Philm post tonight, I wanted to tell y'all about the long weekend I had in Western New York. I took a very special trip up to Phil's hometown of Rochester, NY, for a special 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny—which ended up being one of the best nights of my life. TL;DR I met his family and got to tell them how much he is loved ❤️

As some of you might know, the Eastman Museum in Rochester is now the permanent home of PSH's statue, and to celebrate, the museum's Dryden Theatre is showing his films all year long. I've been dying to see Phil's hometown and especially the statue since it was unveiled last year and finally made it (many hours and several hundred miles in the rain) up to WNY for a couple days. Y'all I can't even tell you how excited I was just to be in Rochester, like geeking over everything. We visited Fairport, where Phil grew up, and went to a restaurant with a burger named after him (yum), and got his fave kind of donuts at the Wegmans where he worked as a cashier in high school (I told you, geeking HARD). It's such a nice, friendly city and so many little things about Phil clicked just being there.

We went to the Eastman Museum first thing Saturday morning to see his statue and it's so perfect. Yes I cried a little bit as soon as I walked up to it! I don't need to tell y'all how much Phil means to me and finally seeing this public tribute to him, which looks so good and is so approachable and huggable and real and lovely, was amazing. Passed it four times going in and out of the museum and made my mom take my photo with him every time :-)

That night was the 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny. Already one of my favorite PSH films, I recently finished the book it's based on—No Limit: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Ross—which is just as engrossing and made me even more excited to rewatch the film on the big screen. We were the first people to the theater bc I was so anxious to be there lmao.

I recognized Phil's mother, Marilyn, and his older sister, Jill, who arrived about 20 minutes before the film and sat a few seats away. My anxiety was through the ROOF—I am very shy in person, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say anything and since this was a PSH-related event I figured they probably wouldn't mind if I brought him up. Thanks to Phil I have a hundred times more confidence than I did just a few years ago, so I worked up my courage and went over to introduce myself, tell them my name and how far I came just to see the statue and the film, how much I admire Phil and his work.

Y'all I'm tearing up again just typing this because they were the nicest people I have ever met in my life, seriously. His mom and his sister were immediately so kind that my nerves melted away, it was like talking to friends. They were touched that I'd come so far, they thanked ME for coming over to say hello. I shook their hands and we had a whole conversation for several minutes—I got to tell them that Phil changed my life, how I've seen all of his films, the ways he's inspired me to make my own art. I can't even believe I am writing this because it was so surreal and incredible. They asked me so much about my trip and myself, which is cute because I've heard so many stories about how Phil always asked people about themselves, their lives, their families, their work. His mom asked if I'd seen the statue (of course!!!) and told me to make sure I took a selfie with him :''''') so obviously I took another one when we left <3

Jill and I talked about Owning Mahowny and gambling while my mom talked to Phil's mom (like how is it even real that I'm saying that?), then Marilyn told a funny, sweet story about when Phil was filming Mahowny in Toronto in 2002. One day he called and asked to come home for a while, then drove down and spent the day with her watching hours of dailies of the same exact shot, scrutinizing each take and laboriously trying to decide on the best one—and his mom was like, "Phil, what are we searching for, these all look the same to me" LMAO 😭

The film itself was obviously amazing, no need for a full review here. Equally wonderful to share it with a big audience laughing, cringing, gasping, crying, smiling. The 35mm print looked beautiful. As we were leaving, Phil's sister made a point to catch my eye and thank me again for stopping to say hello! We said goodbye to her and Marilyn and they wished us a great rest of our trip to Niagara Falls the next day—it was so sweet they remembered I'd even mentioned it.

I hardly slept that night I was so excited lol. It's been two days and it still feels surreal. I'm repeating myself but I can't get over how warm and kind they both were, how we were all kind of moved almost to the point of tears talking about their beautiful son and brother, my hero, the artist and man who saved my life and brought us all together. I'm so so so grateful for the opportunity to tell them what Phil means to me. Since then I've had a million thoughts like "oh I wish I'd said this or that," but really it would be impossible to sum up in words, even if we had all the time in the world, everything I want to say. I said it before but it's easy to understand how Phil turned out to be such an amazing person, coming from a family like that.

One of the simplest yet most meaningful couple of days in my whole life. It was better than I could've hoped for. Mostly joy—and while there was some grieving and missing him, too, I know it all came from love. I feel closer to Phil than ever. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home, Phil. Words are never enough but I love you so much, we're all so proud of you.

#philip seymour hoffman #psh #* #words #I don't even know how to tag this!!!! the craziest best thing to ever happen to me! #btw the hoffman burger kicked ass. it was so good I wasn't hungry for the rest of the weekend literally

[siflshonen]

I wish the Bakugo family featured a bit more! I'd like to see more of their dynamic. I wholly believe little Katsuki was a genuine overachiever by nature, but were his parents too? Did they foster that in any way? Did they make an effort to make him so self-sufficient (proficient at cooking and cleaning, superorganized, etc.) from a young age or was that his own neurotic brand of rebellion? Does he share hobbies with his dad apart from hiking? I need moar bb!Kacchan crying and beating older kids

(In many ways I sometimes wish the series cut other characters and was instead more about him, which would include his family...)

From what I have seen in extra content (TUM omakes, comments, the main manga), I have every reason to believe his family made an effort to support all of Katsuki's most socially-acceptable-productive and anal habits. However, I don't think they had to try that hard.

I think part of the reason Katsuki gets pissy when people give him instructions like "put away your shoes" or "clean this thing" or "get that adversary" is because Katsuki is already in the middle of doing it so he thinks it's patronizing and annoying when people tell him to do it. As a result, him saying "Don't tell me what to do" doubles as him saying, "Don't treat me like I'm fucking stupid! God, how much of a fuckwad do you think I am?!"

...But that could also be me projecting because that's the way I felt as a kid, and the way I still feel about some instruction even now.

As for Mitsuki and Masaru's feelings on their explosive bundle of joy, I get the feeling they were excited. When his quirk manifested, I'm sure Masaru had a comical moment of "oh no he's a bomb!" but it was only for laughs. I'm sure Mitsuki took charge of that situation with an iron grip and a slapping hand.

Besides. If Katsuki misbehaved in overt ways beyond just being generally rude and grumpy*, I'm pretty sure Mitsuki just beat the hell out of him. She smacks him all the time for the minor stuff, so I'm sure it was more extreme for major infractions about things that actually mattered. Dunno.

But my sneaking suspicion? Katsuki's ultimate punishment whenever he did something really bad was likely making one or both of his parents cry, tell him how disappointed or upset they were in him, and not give any obvious punishment to him at all. If the size of his self-loathing and internal guilt and grief for other events that happen in the series are any indication, they probably made him sit and stew without the obvious feedback of a whack on the back of the head.

I'm sure baby Katsuki had cute little new quirk hijinks that he'd be mortified if we found out about. I'm sure Izuku knows about them all and may even have photo evidence somewhere. And I'm sure that, as a kid, even at his snottiest and most nasty, he adored his parents and this was for better AND for worse in both directions. I just get that sense. In some of the extra content we see him, like, kinda bullying his dad when they play together and acting like he's sort of a fuddy-duddy, but if watching Katsuki interact with his friends and Izuku tells me anything, well.

I think Katsuki gets attached very quickly even if he acts mistrustful, distant, and like a shithead about it. I think if anything major (more major to the sports fest's critical onlookers, of which 1-A themselves were mostly blissfully unaware) happened to the other students of 1-A and his parents (lost job, public ridicule, major family shame) as a result of Katsuki being in the public eye in conjunction with All Might's retirement, I seriously wonder if he might've crawled into a hole and died. Like, at that point, apologizing to and protecting Izuku might've been the singular thing keeping him going if that happened.

As far as Katsuki's room goes, based on Horikoshi's description, I think I have a good idea of what it looks like - and I think I already pictured it correctly the first time that scene came up in the anime. It doesn't bother me that we don't see his room because - and I know this is going to sound weird - I think, given the nature of his relationship with the public and other people getting into his personal business, it is okay with me that he has some privacy even from us, the readers.

*the Deku-Bakugo situation in middle school is complicated, has different cultural connotations than in the west, and we don't know how much Mitsuki and Masaru did or did not know about it, so I'm not counting it here.

#ask #bakugo katsuki #bakugo mitsuki #bakugo masaru

[heart0fclay]

Hangman confiding in a buddy. (hangman is an emotional drunk, confesses his feelings for bob, rooster helps them get together) Hangman x Bob fic

Hangman and Rooster had been at the hard deck for hours. they were fairly drunk. Hangman’s phone lit up there was a text. “Hey bud i made some choc chip cookies i shall leave them by your door” Hangman smiled and started crying. “Woah whats wrong Hangman?” “Im seriously in love.” “with who?!”

Hangman showed Rooster the text. Jake was full on crying at this point “i love him so fucking much! how do i tell him?”

“Let’s go to his!” “what! no we can’t!” “Fuck it! im setting you two up!” “Bob’s not even into men!” “Hangman hes my best friend trust me im setting you up”

they drunkenly walked to Bob’s apartment. Bob was laying in bed watching tiktok videos when he heard a loud knock at the door which startled him. he got up and opened it. it was Hangman stinking of booze. “Oh hey Hangman what are you doing here” Hangman started crying again. “ROOSTER i cant do it hes so cute look at him.” “What’s happening?!” Rooster appeared around the corner. “Hey bobino so yeah.” “can we come in?” “god yeah i think you two need to sit”

The two bigger guys walked in and sat on bob’s couch. Hangman was still crying the booze had overtaken his emotions. “Uh so Bobby my man! Hangman confessed something to me!“ “What is it? are you ok dude?” Hangman cried even harder. “Rooster hes so fucking precious!!! I want to marry him i love him!” Bob froze. “What?” “I love you bob! i love you lieutenant! i want you to call me your baby god im so drunk but i love you baby i love you so much it hurts!” Bob couldn’t believe it. “Woah ok.” Hangman cried again. “he doesn’t love me! i knew this was a fucking mistake!”

“Well i never said that did i?” Hangman looked up instantly. “Right first of all Rooster im taking you home and then Jake we can have a chat.”

Bob got up and carried Rooster back to his apartment a few doors down. Bob also picked up the cookies he made for Jake cause he had a feeling jake was not going home tonight.

Bob arrived back at his apartment and Jake smiled. “he’s back!” “Ok you’re drunk hangman im not sure if i believe you.” Hangman started crying again. “i love you! i love you please Bob youre the love of my life! look at my phone lock screen!” Bob took jake’s phone and pressed the home button his heart skipped a beat. it was a photo of him and jake. “You mean everything to me Bob i already told my parents and family they support it.” “Jake i feel the same way but i want you to be sober for this. lets get you some water and we can chat in the morning.” Jake smiled. “can i sleep here?” “sure”

Bob got hangman a bit sobered up and then told him to sleep with him in his big double bed. “Can we cuddle Bob?” “Sure” Bob wrapped his arms around Hangman and snuggled into him. Hangman fell asleep instantly. Bob smiled thinking this might be the start of something special

*** the next morning ***

Hangman woke up before Bob. he looked over and smiled brightly. he had to take a deep breath. did last night happen? are they finally a couple. Bob woke up just then and looked up. “Hey pass me my glasses” Jake passed the glasses over. “Right lets get you some water and we can talk.” Bob got out of bed he was wearing a vest and briefs he was semi hard from just waking up and Hangman smirked. Bob made a glass of water and gave it to Hangman and then sat at the foot of his bed. Hangman drank the Water in one gulp. “Last night?” Hangman nodded.

“You meant it?” “Yes. every single word. i swear on my life i am in love with you Bob.” Bob smiled brightly. “Well in that case.” Bob lightly jumped on top of Hangman and started kissing him passionately “I love you too” Hangman had never been so happy. “I am so happy.” “Happiness looks good on you baby.”

Hangman felt his stomach go all funny like he was on a roller coaster. “Did you know you’re an emotional drunk?” “Ah yeah i know made a fool of myself many times” chuckled Jake. “It’s cute. really cute” Jake blushed. “can we cuddle again Bob? i dont want to ever let go of you” it was 5am they had 2 hours till they had to be at training. Bob nodded and fell into Hangman’s arms. he had never felt safer.

just then his phone pinged with a message from rooster. “How did it go” Bob laughed. “Rooster wants to know the details.” Hangman grabbed Bob’s phone and snapped a selfie of them cuddling and sent it to rooster with the message “Does this answer your question?”

the phone pinged again “Goodness gracious it does bloody finally you two got together. now i have a migraine i’ll see you at training if im not dead” Bob chuckled. “you two boys had an adventurous night?” “we did babe. also im excited to try those cookies you made me!” “good job i made sure they were lovely and fresh for you!” Hangman smiled and kissed Bob. Bob snuggled back into Hangman’s big rugged arms and they snuggled till it was time for work.

#jake hangman seresin #floydsin #hangman x bob #bob top gun #top gun maverick #robert floyd #hangman top gun #bob floyd #bob x hangman #robert bob floyd

[borahaejenn]

🥳Happy Birthday Jeongguk!!!!🥳

 💗Feliz Cumpleaños HONEY!!!!!!!!💗ALSO, GOOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYONE LOL I SAW IT WAS MORNING IN KOREA. I just woke up from a power nap and it is 7pm here. Yes, I finally am back. I am here even more as a gift for your birthday. Lol haha Well, this letter may be long but at least I get to talk to you and everyone too. It feels a little odd to write because it has been a while since I have written this seriously. 😂 The East Winds has brought me back but they put me through a lot to be the Jenn that is here right in front of you and I am thankful. When my mind felt like a prison, I learned from this journey that being free is free but to put yourself in that mindset and to really get to that freedom takes more than just words. The East Winds made me climb many steep hills both figuratively and literally and it was hard as hell. East Winds was like “Child of the sun, why is it that you feel pain in your legs when you are only moving so little climbing this hill? Do you see the power in the small steps one takes in the day? It gets hard and heavy when you are almost at the top, because it takes a true heart to evolve those painful feelings and thoughts into something grand and beautiful as the view from the top of a steep hill. When you get tired from that view, then there will always be another hill you will have to climb to get to another piece of peace that you acquire. The process keeps going, but it is up to you to pick which hills call to you. It’s okay to quit climbing hills that don’t call to you anymore but find the power to go back down and then get back on another hill when you feel it deeply.” The East Winds saw me sweat a crap ton, but in the process, valuable lessons were learned. I found power in thought and even one small step. My center switched from everything to just one thing. I also improved with my breathing. My shin stretches and training have been working and I was lightly sore the next day. I got to something that I have been waiting so long to get to because I always had pain in my legs and calves and I made them rock solid compared to two months ago. I am proud of my small steps.

  I ALSO MADE LIKE 20 VIDEOS LMAO. I finally get to greet y’all for your birthdays and there is a lot of things I say in those videos and I filmed them through the weeks as like mini diaries lol I made videos in late June and then the second week of August and then the last video was like on the 25th of August, so you get to see me from the now than from like weeks ago tooHaha Be prepared for grubby Jenn in the last video lol I took it outside and I was sweating a lot and yeah. 😂 I show y’all my turtle lol I never introduced y’all to my family’s turtle. Lmao I got videos for HOBI and YOONGI TOO. I got my artist made notebook hehe I will say that in your birthday videos Kook, I said that I would continue the weverse interviews like I did before, but after thinking about it, I decided to take it easy this year and just stick to writing all my feelings in here, but I still took like two types of photo shoots that called to me. I am taking a break from over doing it. Lol I learned to keep it to what just calls me and not force things and I want to honor that to myself so I don’t feel burned out and just really follow what I feel when I feel like it. I will say that the photos will still have the WM in the corners for weverse magazine lol I thought it cute and I FOUND THESE CLOUD LETTERS AND I THOUGHT OF YOU AND IT WAS PERFECT! So, watch out for cloud letters. Lol

  Oh and I talk about films I watched and would like to add that LORD OF THE RINGS hits different than it did when I was a kid a decade ago. Lol I love the hell out of the LORD OF THE RINGS and my friend Ana read Tolkien and we would talk about the Tolkien universe and she loved the books so much and I loved the films a lot. But, ahhhh I am waiting for the show to premiere and that is why I am binge watching every film and I am on the second film THE TWO TOWERS and I can’t control myself lol I have been yelling “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” In Gandalf’s voice. I love that homie lol I do a funny impersonation and I am this close to being Gandalf for Halloween lol But, yeah I am a sucker for middle-earth Lol 😆 if you can please look up the memes for this: “One does not simply walk into Mordor.” Lmaooo I remember when there was a crap ton of memes on that saying and it is hilarious. I will share a meme photo on tumblr to let you in on what I mean. Lmaooo I am going to have fun with it, I hope I can let you in my teenage brain again😂

   Let me get started on your birthday!!! HAPPY 25TH/26TH BIRTHDAY OUR KOOK!!!!! GOLDEN CONEJITO ✨🐰YOU ARE STILL OFFICIALLY THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME BUT IT NEVER FELT/FEELS LIKE THAT. Lol You feel the same as me haha and I love that we can feel that way. 😊But, thank you for being here. Thank you to the angels for gifting you to your parents, Bangtan, ARMY, your loved ones, your friends, and yourself. You are the only who can be you and keep you alive and here with us and thank you for working hard. You are doing well.👌  Also, before I forget I love your 7 tattoo placement and I think your arm is looking freaking amazing. Damn I wonder how long your body tolerance is to such detail with a needle? Did you do a half day or full day lol I can only ever do half day appointments. I always get asked if I want to keep going and do a full day, but in the past I was but now I can’t lol Still, I think your tattoos are freaking hot and sick! They are awesome. My brother’s girlfriend has a ton of tattoos like more than me and we always compare ours and even our thigh tattoos and she just has so much detail on hers and it is funny because we always talk about our pain and she is  a mvp to me lol I like to compliment and hype people up with their body art. I love to.

  Since we are doing things differently this year, well let’s get to the depths of my heart and what I wish to tell you this year. In one of the videos I kind of asked if you can, go a whole day not picking at yourself too much. I say the word “picking” a lot in that video if you get to it lol and it sounds almost contradictory, but I mean it in the sense to be aware of when you feel like picking at yourself and when you feel like you are criticizing yourself too much over the smallest and even biggest things through your day. I just felt that a lot of your life you maybe felt the need to criticize yourself even with things that came up in the past and I wish as a gift that you just go about your day just being and not worrying about explaining or worrying about how what your doing can mean to someone else. Just do things for you without worrying about how it can get judged or twisted in any way. You deserve some peace in your mind. I want you to have that even if for a day. 😊

  For the photos this year I decided to go back to the essence of Euphoria from a different angle. Oh and yes I cut my hair late June. Lol I have been trimming my head through the month as well, so it has been short all this time. You will see short hair Jenn for all these photos. But, back to Euphoria. Something about the essence of the sky and feeling that high like floating amongst the sky called to me. I got these lenses that made a kaleidoscope shape through out the camera lenses because it reminded me of you. I know that the idea of the hexagon shape has been talked about a lot and I talked so much about shapes and I will let it go with this final thought. I kept thinking about the kaleidoscope shape and if it really was a shape and it is. I don’t think you are a cracked hexagon, you are a kaleidoscope to me. It looks cracked and there is still this clear whole center. It reminded me of you. I thought of how loved and beautiful a kaleidoscope looks to people and no one ever tries to make it perfect or look one way, they just let it be and they get wowed by it. A kaleidoscope is meant to show you a clear point yet with the different cuts and cracks it shows you that very same thing in different angles and with brilliance when the sun reflects on the kaleidoscope shape. It is perfect because it allows the different cracks to shine as much as the center point. It all works as one, not less not more, just whole. You may not see what I see, but you are meant to have those cracks. A perfectly imperfect shape that is loved for what it shows and how it functions together.  You made me see many parts of you through the years and all those sides have all come to shine in the bigger part of who you are: your passion. You are the kaleidoscope that shows me a different side to the things in front of me. I learned a lot from you and you teach me a lot of things. Thank you.  The photos were created in honor of who you were during the Euphoria era, but also who you are yet to become.  In your passion you have that hope to keep doing many different things and to share with others your own points of view and how to see the world through different eyes. It is through the passion you give that your heart comes out the most. I love that about you and I will keep rooting for your heart with each passing year. I also added the Tiger Flower to remind you that while you heart may say “please love me” each time, I want you to know that I am already loving you. Even from afar. ❤️ I hope you enjoy the photos. Also, there is two photos where I did some editing and put you in front of me and I may look shorter than I am because I was messing with enlarging the figures in the photos. It was just an estimate of how I may be in person lol I am 5’3 and I read you are 5’10 lol Either way I had fun with it. Hehe

   To take a break from the photos I wanted to talk about some of my favorite quotes from your current weverse interview because I read yours first 😁:

-“Knowing what to focus on makes a big difference.” I loved that this aligned with what I was going through at this money and it was just an amazing feeling just knowing you get it. Lol 😎

-“But nothing’s ever really hard.” This is true. We have this tendency as humans to let our guard down when things get or feel easier to the point that we forget to challenge ourselves and when we do get challenged after awhile of not being challenged, we think it is hard, but in reality we just are rusty in working our mind and exercising our potential. I love what you said here.

-“It makes me feel like I’m trying to change, at least in the moment.” Thinking that you feel lazy yet you are doing something each day to feel like you are moving towards something is very endearing to me. I like that you take into account how precious your time really is.

-“Enough is never enough…” A VERY VIRGO AND JUNGKOOK THING TO SAY. I dig it. Nothing is enough for you and you had that energy since the longest time. Mentally, you don’t like to be complacent for long with everything and that moves you.

-“I think you have to force yourself to do things you feel are a hassle one by one. That’s how I’m trying to live my life.” This reminded me of the what all my teachers always said, “you should always do the hardest things in your list first and do the easiest last.” It is a hassle to do what you dread and fear doing because of the work it requires but it makes it worth awhile to get to the easy parts of the day because you know you at least did you best to put in the work.

-“I feel irritated whenever I have to do something and don’t want to do it right up until I start.” I like that you get irritated lol I think it’s cute. You are always showing us a very passionate Kook but knowing you get irritated is nice. Lol

-“Because, in the end, I want it.” YES YOU DO, BABY! The Jungkook I feel and have seen through the years always goes for what he wants and gets it. I love that energy of yours. 💪 GET IT, KOO!

-“I think there’s a lot of contradictions in my character.” That is what makes you shine, honey. Your character and personality has a lot of contradictions but I love you for it. You have zest.

- “I don’t think there’s much I can motivate myself to do without other people’s help.”  Kook I feel like your human design type may be a PROJECTOR. You move when you feel others move you or when you have enough information about what you want to do in order to move on it. This quote just called me to human design. But, I feel that is a big part of you. You feel invited to master something when others inspire you to do so. That’s awesome. Lol I could be wrong but I just feel that. I made a long post on the projector design for you lol I got curious and found a lot really reminds me of the way you move and act on things over the years. I found a theory on why you “feel lazy.” It’s insane how the projector type may be your human design but only you can figure that out. It has nothing to do with personality tests it’s about your birth date and time. It may help in how you process things and maneuver your ambition. When I found my type it helped me feel better about why I was thinking certain things and leaning towards certain ideas lol 😂 Also, Kook you were born to be a master at many things I think your human design even says it flat out. Projectors are about success and showing the world their ideas, their skill, and mastery. This could explain your ambition and why you want to be the best at what you want to do as a singer. It’s in your nature to crave that and be greedy with it, but it is just up to how you maneuver it. That is a projectors life motto: to show that greatness and be acknowledged by it. Projectors have that deep leadership in them and the need to help others and guide them through their own mastery but only if they feel invited by others energy to do so. You may be the type that likes it when someone asks for your help and you love to do so willingly if the energy is mutual. That is what a projector likes. You also move and act on things when others invite you through action indirectly as long as it feels right you go for it. You don’t just do things, you take time to process it if it suits you. You have that in you by nature and I think it is calling you to embrace it and let those who feel touched by it come to you. I explain more in a huge separate post with photos on tumblr lol. But you so feel like a projector and that is why you may feel complex and contradictory in your character. It makes sense lol projectors only make up 20% of people and they are also rare and complex yet very much needed but can only accomplish the need when others give them that push to branch out. They rely on others to fulfill that purpose but it has to be those who naturally come to them. And yeah that feeling of laziness is a projector quality lol most say they feel that way but they are just not born with high energy as other types so you have to rest and use your energy wisely more than others. When you use your energy wisely you can do a lot of things. You are not limited, you just haven’t found the rights things to put your energy in. You may want to force things but it’s in your nature to not do that all the time or you face severe stages of “laziness” and burnout. Practice doing things that call to you when you feel invited to do them.  

-“The other members tell me, ‘you have to keep making releases. That’s how you figure it all out.” I love that you take into account what the members tell you. You bring it up from time to time and you made me think of life. You can’t ever live life the correct way, you just figure it out as you go about it through experiences, pain, happiness, and trial and error. You figure it out over time. You just have to keep going at it and not hold out for too long. 👍

  For the second part of your birthday lol I still am doing the playlists. I decided to make a huge cloud umbrella for your playlist cover. 😭 clouds where on my mind for days and I was inspired for awhile to make a cloud umbrella and I went for it. Hehe I made these pictures more personal by using my ipad to draw with my pen and I finally was able to doodle more and you get my handwriting without caps and with caps. I added a picture of the tracks I choose because my handwriting is messy as hell. Lol sometimes I go with cursive and regular writing with words mixed  into one and  I write normally like that. I used Canva to edit the photos and the procreate app to mess around with writing and drawing and I was so happy to try something new lol I was like a kid with a new bike. Lmao I was pressing so many tints and marker and pencil settings. Each of the photos has lyrics from different tracks in your playlist that called to me. I was inspired by past albums I saw with artist handwritings of their lyrics on their cd and photo books and I want to do that this year. Hehe it’s like a digital mini photo book of your playlist. 😉 yes it is called the TOKKI PLAYLIST. hehe 😜 I love the hell out of the first track and it reminded me of you, how you don’t take no for an answer when it is something you want. The track is also called RABBIT HOLE and EVAN GIIA is it. Lol the song is about going for what you want and making it happen no matter if others don’t get your vision or your goal. I love these lyrics: “saw my future I painted a vision/ serve it up with a perfect precision/ oh, lead role, headliner now/ promise you won’t catch me in the background/ i’ma buss it open” I was like hell yeah this is the first track in your playlist and it was fate lol I loved that title has rabbit in it too. It felt right. It is like a chill hype track and yeah I feel bold with ambition with your energy this track is for you. Let’s BUSS IT OPEN KOOK, WE ARE GOING TO GET IT SOMEHOW! 💪I really love the track BUTTERFLY EFFECT by BEFORE YOU EXIT. I still love the track you shared, CLOUDS. I love the lyrics to butterfly effect and how they talked about having someone touch your heart and then leave a huge footprint on it but never come back to you is still something to cherish and not regret. The meaning felt beyond just the idea of a romantic relationship and felt like it could be applied to all types of relationships even those with people who passed away. I love this part: “don’t you dare say it was all a waste/ ‘cause we would never be the way we are today/ now we find beauty in all the pain/ there’s a reason for the rainbow through the rain.” Really cute. I brought back a track by BIRDY and one of my favorites from her will forever be SHELTER. I thought of you with it. The thought of making you see and feel the way I feel about you in one of the purest forms through words was what I felt with that track and I love these lyrics: “and I’ll cross oceans like never before/ so you can feel the way I feel it too/ and I’ll send images back at you/ so you can see the way I feel it too.” I have this feeling in me that tells me that you feel like shelter like a place I could be me and that song felt like it conveyed it to you. I feel a lot and I am finally okay with feeling too much. I know even more now that I am not too much for the right people. I hope you all don’t get overwhelmed by what I say here. I love hard and I love to, I realized these months that I am like that and I love that I can love deeply like that. I have too many emotions and I am proud of it. You don’t have to react to it. This is just me feeling and being me. My love runs deep and has many facets and sides and there is not one way at looking at it. Hehe I also love the track ANYWHERE WITH YOU by AFROJACK, LUCAS & STEVE, and DUBVISION. It is nice, cute, sweet and it makes you feel like getting out there and exploring the world. These lyrics are for you: “just so you know, I got your back, that’s true/ and I’d do anything, anything, anything for you/ just say ‘let’s go,’ I’d run away with you.” I do got your back. 😌 I came across this GHOSTT REMIX of LAUV’s track MODERN LONELINESS and that track was also one that was relatable the lyrics talked about how Lauv is dealing with his own baggage and brings about his dad and I was dealing with my own baggage and even thoughts of me growing up with my dad and the track made me feel hopeful. It is a good song I dig it and it is very upbeat even though the lyrics are the opposite. I brought this song for when you get times where you just hate all the things you did in the past that made you feel like crap but you know you can’t change because it led to how you are today. It is that crappy feeling that you just have to feel out and I wanted to let you know that it’s okay to feel that and you are not alone in it because I feel it from time to time too. These lyrics hit home: “you get what you give and give what you get, so/ modern loneliness, we love to get high/ but we don’t know how to come down/ if I could break my DNA to pieces/ get rid of all my demons/ if I could cleanse my soul/ then I could fill the world with all my problems/ but, s**t that wouldn’t solve them.” I got two chill tracks in Spanish and the lyrics are so cute to them. LA CITA by DEORRO and ALLY BROOKE is so cute and for you. Haha the title means the date/ appointment in Spanish. The song talks about having butterflies in your stomach meeting someone you love and feeling nervous and going to the ends of the world for them because you are so down for them. Just so sweet. 😭 Then BUTTERFLY by MARIO PUGLIA and NOA SAINZ. These lyrics ahhh: “mariposas/ que leía/ solo cuentos/ fantasias/ y ahora contigo/ me veo/ hasta morir.” Translates to: “butterflies that I read about. Only stories. Fantasies. And now with you I see myself until death.” It’s about being down for someone and feeling that love deeply. I am being extra today but It’s your birthday and I will go extra with the songs. lol The last track is one I hope you feel because I also felt that track was fated lol I loved the CLOUD aspect and PARAVI sings so nice. CLOUD 9 talks about how someone makes you feel strong and empowered by being inspired with them, by them, and feeling their love in its entirety even though it may not be guaranteed forever like most things in life. We all can’t live forever, but we can live each day like it’s possible. These last lyrics are for you from me: “when I start to tumble from the sky/ you remind me how to fly/ lately, I have been feeling un-alive/ but you bring me back to life/ even when we fade eventually to nothing/ YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVORITE FORM OF LOVING.”☺️ I hope everyone can enjoy this playlist. I love all the tracks and I thought of you Kook when picking them. Happy listening 🎶

  The last gift I got is in the videos hehe this year I thought of making different origami for y’all. I wanted to see how challenging folding can get and I found a couple for each of Bangtan and I hope my patience and fingers can pull it off. I posted the links to the videos of the two shapes I made in honor of you. Lol I went with a GOLDEN TOKKI I didn’t get to make it stand lol but it could stand with some patience. It was made into a bunny that could only fulfill one wish for the one person it is intended for and that is you in this very day. You can pause the video to take your time making a wish and take your time. Put intention into your wish and wait for it to come true. I am counting on it. 😁 THE GOLDEN TOKKI does not play and will hear you out just once. 🙏 the second shape I made was banana milk because I hope you can come back to that video whenever you are having an off day. You will see me handing you a origami banana milk carton lol I hope you can laugh and cheer up with it. 😆 Say it with me: “BANANA MILK IS LIFE!” Lol 🙌

   To end this long letter, I want to say yet again even though in the videos I will say it, but I MISSSED YOU ALL AND I MISSEED YOU TOO KOOK. I was thinking a lot and I was questioning if I even belong here anymore and I was thinking and thinking and I was just doubting so much and bumming myself out and then I saw some signs through my days before even coming here today and then I was rewatching BRIDGET JONES films and this quote got to me: “but falling in love doesn’t happen on paper. Sometimes you love a person because of all the reasons they’re not like you. Sometimes you love a person just because they feel like home.” I astral projected lol so many things I came across aligned with the thoughts I was going through even the words y’all said in your current interviews it just reminded me of how connected and close I feel to people I care about. I realized that while on paper I make no sense and I am odd, not in the same world as you, maybe I don’t belong, and you don’t know how I like my coffee, nor do you know me when I am super down, or angry, or super happy at that personal level and vice versa, I don’t have to live the same way you do or do the same things you do in order to love you. You just feel right in my heart. Not like home, but beyond that. You and I are different but we still somehow feel the same in energy. I can’t explain better but that is how I feel.

 I shall go to the week lol I am posting on Tuesday here this week because that is where the day before your birthday lands over here in the USA. Lol the 30th is like the 31st in Korea and so I planned and I said I would come in this day, the day before your birthday. Here I am. I hope you have a nice day for your birthday and I am wishing the best for you too! I hope Bangtan and ARMY have a nice JUNGKOOK DAY! 🎂HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE! 🎂 ENJOY YOUR GIFTS BUN✨💝 I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. TE AMO MUCHO. LET’S GO GOLDEN CONEJITO! Oh and yes I had fun making a huge collage of peace signs of you lol I finally got to make one for you because I didn’t get to last year. 😂😂😂😂😂 I enjoyed drawing in it. To end this I want to leave you, BANGTAN, BTS CREW ( BTS CREW I MISSED Y’ALL😭), and ARMY with a quote from LORD OF THE RINGS. If you feel like you are not deserving of things given to you, remember: “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” The fact that you are being given so much, just shows how much you changed the course of others lives and you should be proud of yourself for that. I feel like sometimes we all may feel overwhelmed by all that is given to us all and we may feel small because of that, like too small to be deserving of such big and grand things, but you deserve it. When you feel small from the figurative perspective remember that you are capable of changing things not just from a bigger scale but even a small scale like touching someone’s heart by the little things. The little things always count. 😘Let’s not doubt our impact today, you too Kook. FIGHTING💪bye bye! Please don’t forget to eat something sweet and also delicious for your birthday. 🤤

With love,

Your JENN JENN ✌️💜🐰💜✌️PEACE SIGNS FOR LIFE! Lol

[cruisinfdr]

#some of ts3's animations.......whack #ts3 #the banda bunch #paprikas face is messyyyyy #they went to the summer festival cuz it was leisure day #ugh i love ts3 #the festivals were so cute i loved how they lasted the whole holiday #my kids were Always up at the festivals after school !!! especially when i was in a town where the park was right across the street #god and theyd bike there it was so cute #dude !!!! with the banda bunch i would send them there like once a season to all take a new family photo !!! #it was so cute i seriously have SO MANY family photos !!! i took one every holiday !! #o my god wow :'''~) #anyway welcome 2 breannas diary uhhhhh today i took a forensics exam it was ok #my acne is acting up and i want to pretend my face doesnt exist #im posting on instagram next week n im putting pics 2gether n im so VAIN i took such a good one #i look so cool !!!! i would marry me #sometimes i wish more people would send me asks or message me just cuz i miss having friends online #ive had like 4 friends from twitter when i was a 1d stan n it was always fun #one time me n one in canada did a present swap it was so CUTE but we stopped talking awhile ago #i hope shes doing ok i still have the stuff she gave me #i have 2 go edit coin posts n queue more banda ones now cuz i ran out #toodles ! hav a nice day if u read any of this i lov u !

[cursingtoji]

𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 — 𝐄.𝐉𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: when Carla decides to share the family photos of Eren as a baby with his son's wife, you can't help but think about having a mini Eren for you too.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: AU where the Jaeger family is alive and happy, breeding, soft dom!Eren, praising, the word daddy is used (within the breeding context), creampie, hypothetic (?) lactation kink, overstimulatiom, one (1) thigh slap, edging (eren edging himself), heavy pregnancy talk. 2.5k words.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: heavily inspired by baby eren scenes in the final season.

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨: While We Still Can — A. Alert

"This one he was chasing a butterfly" Carla taps her finger in a picture of Eren as a baby walking with his little arms extended.

"Mom~" you hear Eren whining embarrassed or the nth time from the porch where he was having a beer with his dad, hearing you and his mother sitting at the dinner table cooing at every new picture of his chubby baby self from twenty plus years ago.

"Shhh, what about this one? Where was that?" you point at another baby Eren picture, Eren groans from the porch as Carla starts to ramble with shiny eyes about the day Grisha took that picture.

You were visiting Eren's parents as you usually do on a Sunday afternoon for tea, it became a habit of Eren and you when Carla started to call you asking if you were not coming 'cause she made cookies or something other treat just for you and him.

Today she was cleaning the basement and found some old photo albums, getting so excited to show you that you ended up staying in your parent in law 's house till late at night.

At some point after tea and even dinner, Eren and his father went to the porch taking some bottles with them, you could hear their voices but not exactly what they were talking about, only Eren complaining when Carla started to share embarrassing stories of him as a kid with you.

"Sorry mom, we gotta go, it’s getting late" Eren enters the kitchen again putting one hand on your shoulder and squeezing it lightly.

"Already?" her big brown eyes looked at you silently asking you to protest.

"I will come back tomorrow" you whisper, Eren clearly hears it, but only shakes his head holding back a smile.

Although he wishes Carla didn’t tell you about the times he sobbed watching The Lion King and showed you his Ninja Turtle costume for Halloween, he still couldn’t help finding your interactions with his mother quite lovely.

"Goodnight, mom" he kisses her head on his way out, patting his dad's back and thanking for the beers.

"You managed to match my mother's excitement there" Eren says when you start to walk the path leading to your house, only a couple of minutes from his parent's.

"Can you blame me? You were the cutest baby in the world" you hug your husband's arm.

"Shut up" he hisses and even in the dark night you notice a tint on his cheeks.

"Seriously, with those big green eyes and thick brown hair. I bet every mom back then wanted to have a cute little thing like you" you tight your hold on his arm.

Truth be told, you wanted a cute thing like that too. You have been wanting for a while now, but Eren and you agreed to wait till the time was right.

"You think so?" he asks and you nod with your cheek on his shoulder, "Does that include you?" you stop mid walk, making him stop too.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want to have a cute little thing like me too?" his question makes your jaw drop, "'Cause you know... I'm the only one that can make it happen" he joked.

"Are you being serious right now, Eren?"

"Well, only if you want to" he takes your hand, "The right time can be now."

"Sounds like you've been reading my mind Mr Jaeger" you squeeze his hand back smiling.

"I knew it," he smiled back, touching foreheads with you.

"How?"

"My father joked about you getting a baby fever after so many baby photos" you pretend to be offended by gasping and slapping his arm as he laughs, Grisha was not wrong though, "Come on, let's go make a baby."

You and Eren run to your house holding hands. Once you got there you tried your best to fit the key inside the locker but Eren's lips on your neck were making it quite hard.

"Come on~" he whines, hands coming under your blouse to squeeze your waist.

"I'm trying, you horny dog" you finally open the door, getting pushed in and pinned against it in a blink.

"Take responsibility for my hornyness" he presses his body against yours the best he can while hungrily kissing you. Swirling his tongue inside your mouth like he owned the place.

Your hands grip his shirt in a silent plea for him to remove it, which he did by leaving your lips for a second to reach behind his neck pulling the fabric off, messing undoing his bun in the process.

It could be the adrenaline of knowing you would be making a baby in a few minutes, yet Eren looked so fucking beautiful in that moment. Face glowing with sweat from running, a red tint on his cheeks, long hair messily framing his face, green eyes dark with lust, his bare torso right in front of your face, the light coming from the street lamps only serving to highlight his muscles.

Your mouth watered at the sight. How did you get so lucky?

“Are you checking me out?” Eren laughs at your expression. Like a dog in front of a butchery.

“I’m allowed to check out what’s mine” you murmur, reaching a hand out to touch his abdomen, shameless of being caught staring.

“Indeed you are, Mrs Jaeger” Eren bends to pick you by your thighs as you lace them around his waist, arms around his neck to give more support.

Your husband carries you to your bedroom exchanging some sweet drugging kisses here and there, trying to not crash against the furniture.

Finally he enters the bedroom, letting your body fall on the mattress with a yelp, you arch your back to remove your blouse as he watches biting his bottom lip. After years together Eren is still intoxicated by you, he can’t help but be hypnotized by your beautiful swollen lips parted just waiting for him to come kiss you again.

“Eren~” you whine his name, feet rising from the mattress to touch his abdomen trailing down till you reach the waistband of his jeans, purposely gazing at his crotch.

“So needy” he coos unbuttoning his pants and lowering it till he’s bare, his perfect body shining under the dim lights, “Are you that desperate to have my cum?” he takes your ankle placing it on his shoulder as his hand travels on your velvety skin till it reaches the side of your thigh.

You nod, biting your finger. A slap stings the skin where he had his hand on.

“What was that?” Eren presses.

“Yes, Eren, I want your cum” you cry out, “Don’t you wanna fill me up too, baby?” you tease getting impatient. Eren hooks his fingers on your skirt bringing it down your legs along with your underwear.

“Oh I want that more than anything else in the world” he lays down between your legs, placing both your thighs on his shoulders as he inhaled your core, getting drunk even before properly touching you, “But I gotta make sure you will be well prepared to take it” with that bold statement he dives his face in your pussy, messily making out with it, forming a hot pool of saliva and your natural slickness before two of his fingers enter you.

“Fuck— Eren” your insides involuntary suck him in. Fingers working on a scissoring motion to stretch you as he wraps his lips around your clit.

Callused hands trail up, fingertips getting under your bra to tease your nipple, only then you reach behind your back to discard the undergarment setting your breasts free for Eren to play with.

“Can’t wait to see this pussy dripping with my cum, angel” he murmurs to your pulsating core, slowly pumping fingers as your legs start to move impatiently with the orgasm building up.

“Baby” you call him to alert your upcoming climax, Eren gets it, immediately placing both hands on the mattress to rise from his lying position now sitting on his knees, he takes your legs from his shoulders to place them on top of his muscled thighs, a full throbbing erection you never got tired of seeing between them.

“Ready to be a mom, pretty?” he strokes his shaft looking at you, eyes shining with some tears, pupils dilated like a cat’s, “You’re gonna look gorgeous all round with my kid” he takes his more than ready cock guiding it towards the center of paradise, splitting you open with a moan as your pussy suck him in.

Your legs tighten around his waist, he slowly takes them unlacing from their placement to push against your chest, leaning to better accommodate his cock inside as you take all of it.

Eren now hovers you, hair falling like curtains and tickling your face, dark eyes looking down at your position, shivering beneath him.

Your legs are painfully fold beside you when you take him by his neck pulling down for a engulfing kiss, both you erotically moaning on each other’s mouths when he starts to move impatiently, removing his throbbing flesh only to sink in again in a sensual rhythm.

Eren pulls away, sucking in a lungful of air before lowering to suck at the skin of your neck and chest.

“These tits will look glorious swollen, all filled with milk” he gropes you roughly, biting your neck. The praise gets in your head making you clench around him, “You will let your baby daddy taste some, won’t you?” he whispers seductively in your ear. He could ask for you to burn down your house right there and your answer would be the same:

“Anything you want, daddy” the word has a strong effect on Eren as he bucks hard into you, kissing your cervix and making you see stars, back arching as best you can given the position you are.

“Fuck— Anything, huh? Careful there” he places a hand on the headboard above you, supporting himself to look down seeing his length disappearing between your legs. The sight of your greedy pussy only gives him the motivation to thrusting violently against you, so rough the headboard starts to hit the wall, “‘Cause I might get addicted to this” he reaches down to pinch your clit, making you gasp loudly.

“Y-Yeah?” you say in between moans hands gripping his toned arms to find some stability as your body is being rocked back and forth, Eren is hypnotized by the way your tits bounce, “Gonna g-give me— ah— lots of b-babies, Eren?” you manage to say, mind already hazy with pleasure.

“So many, angel” he feels so fucking good inside you, always such a perfect pussy for him, “‘Gonna fill you up so good, stuff you with my seed” one more pound of his cock is all you need to shake with a violent and blinding release, a jolt of electricity running through your body.

Eren watches your face contort in a climax, so addicted to this sight. His little cock hungry wife.

His thrusts get sloppy within the second, overstimulating you to the point of crying and sinking your nails on his arms and shoulders.

“T-Too much ‘Ren” your voice is shaky, toes curling in the air.

Your clenching heat has Eren contracting his abdomen, trying to hold back a little more so he can come harder, filling his wife to the brim.

“Too much, baby? But look how you are sucking me in. Fuck— this sloppy pussy is killing me” he holds your hips still pounding so hard his balls are hitting your ass, pelvis against your swollen clit, you moan desperately at the overstimulation, like your orgasm is still happening as he continues to thrust,

“Don’t go dumb on me, pretty” your husband brushes the hairs sticking on your sweaty forehead off your face.

Eren teases you but he can’t hold back much longer, balls already aching to release his seed in you.

“Keep squeezing me like this, that’s right” he shuts his eyes dropping his head on your shoulder while pushing your thighs more into your chest.

“Go on, daddy, fill me up” you murmur intoxicated, sinking your nails into the velvety skin of his back, definitely leaving some marks,

Eren throws his back back, groaning like a wild animal as he shivers, feeling every muscle of his body tightening as his climax hit him hard from the edging he has been putting himself through.

Spurs of cum are shot into you, a white-hot eruption to finalize all the hard work as Eren’s body fall on you, he supports himself with his arms, lowering a bit so he can place his head on your chest, cock still inside you to keep the cum from spilling out.

Eren says something muffled by your skin. You drop your legs back to the mattress to get more comfortable.

“What was that, baby?” you ask as you try to catch your breath.

“I want a girl” he pops his chin on your breast.

“I want a boy” you reply, matching his tired smile, “Twins could solve our problem.”

“Or…” he starts to pepper kissing your soft skin, “...We can keep trying until each one gets what they want.”

“I’m not opposed to that” you giggle, “But if the first one comes as energetic as your mother told me you were, we will get too tired to make more” you caress his hair undoing the knots with your fingers.

“We can always let aunt Misaka or uncle Armin watching them for a bit” Eren can see how both of them would treat his kid like their own, “Or even my parents.”

“You don’t even know if your parents want a grandchild” you laugh at your husband's excitement, making plans for a baby that is not even confirmed to exist.

“Believe me, they do. My mother throws me suggestions like that all the time” Eren groans as he raises from your chest, you hiss at the feeling of his cock brushing your sensitive walls in it’s way out.

“Look at that” Eren smiles and you take a second to realize he’s looking at your bare cunt, amazed at the amount of cum that gushes out.

“Stop~” you whine, closing your legs. Eren was always a little pervert when it comes to your body, but tonight he seemed more obsessed than even, clearly the idea of your pregnant body excites him.

“‘Gonna go get you some water” he says laughing at your embarrassed face, bending to kiss your forehead.

“How benevolent of you.”

“Of course, gotta keep my baby mama hydrated before round two.”

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨: While We Still Can — A. Alert

© all content belongs to cursingtoji; do not repost!

#eren x reader #eren smut #eren x y/n #attack on titan smut #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren x you #snk x reader

[missluckycharms]

What is grief, if not love persevering?

Anon asked: heyyy! i love your writing sm💕 can you write angst please? make it hurt☹

Masterlist.

Summary: in which Harry is a single Dad due to losing his wife five years ago just shortly after their little love was born. Y/N has been there through it all. Harry has a rough night filled with whiskey and tears for his late wife.

A/N: this one is full of Angst and light hearted jokes to not get you too sad … sorry in advance, it’s a real tear jerker. Enjoy!!

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, talks of alcohol and drug abuse, talks of depression and very low mental health, curse words.

—

Five years.

It’s been five years since the passing of Myla Styles, the woman who granted Harry a wish he always wanted, the woman who loved him beyond all the galaxies and the woman who never saw any wrong in anyone, not even the worst of people, she always used to say “deep down, their heart is just aching” and Harry always admired that about her, she always looked on the positive side of life.

She held that same attitude as he held her hand in the hospital room, her fragile and pale body laying on the white bed as she peered up at him, oxygen tube in her nostrils and too many machines to count hooked up to her body, she was a shell of a woman, but she still had a heart of gold, the same hear Harry fell in love with when they were sixteen years of age. He hated seeing her this way, especially when their nearly one week old baby was resting in his other arm, fast asleep as her Mum clung to every bit of life she had left, but not once did her smile fade.

It all happened so fast, one day she was pushing life into the world and eight days later her life was being taken out of this world. There was complications with birth, the doctors and nurses finding undiagnosed ovarian cancer in her ovaries when they had to send her in for an emergency c section. Myla confessed she felt off, her body didn’t feel right, but she knew if something was seriously wrong, she wouldn’t risk the life of her baby getting treatment, she would rather her baby live over her. Doctors and nurses tried their best, trying to refer her to new hospitals to get stronger chemo if she wanted, but Myla refused, she told them to let her go, she was tired and she couldn’t stick around long enough to see if these treatments would work — she knew she was dying but Harry refused to believe it.

The day she left, was the day Harry felt like his whole world stopped, like the curtains were shut and he was left in a dark room with no way out. He promised Myla he would do his best to take care of their love, who they named Honey. He was dealing with the loss, Honey taking his mind off it a little and giving him reasons to pull himself from bed even on the days when he wanted to lay around and wallow in his own darkness — she pulled him out of those days, but two months later it all came crashing down on top of him.

He slipped into a wrong mind set, immediately knowing that Honey had to be taken away from him because he was living in fear he would hurt her, one day he woke up and he looked at her and just cried, he held her and he felt nothing, he didn’t even sympathise with her when she would cry for food, he felt nothing towards Honey and this scared him, terribly. Anne, his Mum took Honey in, letting Harry to relax and blow off some steam and get some help, his and Myla’s family all agreeing and saying he needed help and it wasn’t something to be ashamed about — he just lost his wife, they can’t lose him either.

Harry took the wrong route of clearing his mind and getting help, he found his therapy at the end of a bottle and a line of cocaine. He slipped into an endless spiral of week long benders and debts for drug money along with risking losing his home due to him quitting his high up job at his Fathers Law firm, he completely crashed and burned, he couldn’t live without her, he couldn’t stop his mind racing and the only way for it all to stop, and let him feel numb — was when he was drunk and high, passing out in every room of his home and in his garden, the neighbours finding him sometimes in their yard in a mess. They were the ones who got him help, they called up his family and they all rushed him off in an ambulance to get him sober and conscious again. Here is where he made the decision to sign himself into rehab, accepting the help the hospital offered and a few months later, he was out and clean, he stayed with his Mum until Honey turned one and that was the year Harry found his smile again, found his life and purpose again.

Looking back now, he doesn’t know how he ever made himself believe it was Honeys fault Myla was no longer here, he doesn’t know how he’s even alive because of all the drugs and alcohol he ingested every single night for three months solid, but he knows why everything turned around, it was his Angel looking down on him, guiding him and kicking him in the ass to get up and look after their little love, just like she asked him to do before she left, always look after himself and Honey.

It’s been five years since her passing, Harry is doing better than ever, he started working for his Dad’s company again and now he’s the president of the law firm, alongside his Dad who is the CEO, Harry being second in command and then being the CEO when his Dad retires from the firm. They kept their family home, even if it was just the two of them, they loved the home and it still felt like Myla was living here, her makeup still tucked away in her unused vanity in Harrys bedroom and her favourite paintings still hung up around the home. Harry even hired a nanny, she has been working for him for two years now, she’s even working alongside Harry in his office being his receptionist during the day and she’s Honeys afternoon and night nanny when she’s done in work and Honey is home from school.

Y/N is Honeys nanny, she takes care of the little lady and feeds her daily, even taking her to the playground and to the movies when Honey asked her could she go. She would do anything for Honey and Honey loved her endlessly, she loved the way she would allow her to eat sneaky chocolate bars after dinner every now and then and how she would always play dollies with her, kneeling down on the floor of the den and playing with the small girl until they were both in fits of laughter. Harry also adored Y/N, her passion for her job at the law firm along with her passion for looking after Honey is something he admires, she never once complains about being exhausted even though he can tell when she is, she didn’t have to think twice when Harry offered her the job as Honeys nanny, she knew the little one from her being in the office every now and then, and Honey was instantly drawn to her, the way she was so kind and the way she cared for Honey.

Tonight is a hard night for Harry, it’s Myla’s death anniversary and he’s been having a bad day, his mind racing and his heart breaking all over again, but this time he’s stronger, he’s able to power through until he could be alone and just let his emotions go, have a glass of whiskey and just cry a little flipping through old photo albums — he does this every year on her anniversary. Honey is tucked up in bed and he’s sat alone in the den on the sofa, the photo albums on his lap and his hand clutching a small glass of whiskey as he sips on it flipping through many photos from their wedding and from when they were teens and drunk in love in high school — so many memories can be attached to one person, and Harry knew one day they would be memories, but he didn’t know it would be so soon.

“Honey is fast asleep, left her door cracked open so she can shout if she- Harry? Are you okay?” Y/N stops suddenly, her eyes landing on her boss who was hunched over a photo album on the sofa, curtains drawn and the only light coming from a lamp beside a framed wedding photo of him and Myla on the table by the sofa.

“Yeah, thanks for putting her to sleep” Harry says weakly, not turning around which alarms Y/N, she’s seen him like this last year, she let him be as she was only new to it, but this year she’s determined to sit with him all night if he needs — he needs to have some company.

“That’s you?” She asks sitting next to him, Harry not moving or telling her to leave, he accepts her company as she looks down at the photo his eyes are laid upon — two teenagers at a party.

“Yeah, m’hair was a curly mess” he says with a low laugh, looking over the photo of a seventeen year old version of himself, smiling cheekily clutching a red solo cup and Myla wrapped under his other arm holding him around his waist, both their smiles wide and cheeky and their cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in their bodies.

“I think it looks cute, pitty it’s not as curly now” she says with a light laugh, watching as his ring clad fingers turn the page, taking a sip from his whiskey as he goes.

“This was our prom, she made me wear a pink fucking bow tie — absolutely hated it” he laughs, the crinkles by his eyes evident as Y/N laughs along, looking down at the curly headed teenager in a black suit, white shirt and a bright pink bow tie, matching Myla’s floor length dress next to him, a shawl over her shoulders matching as the corsage around her wrist match the pink of her dress also.

“She hated that dress a year later, she was packing up for college and I was helping her when she found it, immediately burst out laughing” he says laughing loudly, remembering back at the memory he has, Y/N beside him happy at how joyful he sounds speaking of the memories.

“Oh here we go, Frat boy Harry!” Y/N says with a loud laugh, pointing down at a shirtless twenty year old Harry, backwards cap on his head and “Myla’s Bitch!” Wrote on his stomach in paint, two beer bottles in his hands and Myla on his shoulders cheering with her hands up in a red bikini, matching his swimming trunks and baseball cap.

“Some of the best years of m’life, raging parties and no more curfews, we were two hormonal teens absolutely smitten for one another” he says shaking his head with a laugh, his eyes bright as he flicks them over the photos ranging from Harry dancing, Myla being pushed into the pool by him and Harry passed out with a mustache drawn on him with Myla next to him holding the marker with a bright smile mid laughter.

The book is filled with their college days, to their graduation day from college, their photo in their first apartment, Harry on his first day of work and Myla on hers. They took photos of small things, but at the time they meant the world to them, they were milestones in their lives and they never wanted to forget them. Harry is forever grateful that Myla had an obsession with photography, otherwise he wouldn’t have these to look back on and hopefully show Honey one day what her Mum was like, even if she’s drunk and half naked in some of them at college parties.

Harry and Y/N are in fits of laughter, tears falling from their faces as Harry explains every single memory behind each photo, one photo containing a memory of Myla at her bachelorette party, Harry coming out as a stripper and giving her a lap dance as she slaps his ass and throws money all over her husband — that one will definitely not be shown to Honey. Harry is like a whole different person when he speaks about her, his laugh becomes louder and his eyes become brighter, he even ditched his whiskey after one glass to speak about his late wife, Y/N looking at him with pure amazement and proudness of how far he’s come, how he pulled himself from a hard time and carried on life for the sake of his baby girl. He’s truly inspirational in her eyes.

“It should be easier than this by now, right? Like I shouldn’t be still grieving” he says when their laughs and stories come to a stop, their eyes hooded with sleep and faces hurting from laughing.

“What is grief, if not love persevering? You were both childhood sweethearts, you’ve loved her since you can remember and you always will, she’s your whole world, of course you’ll still grieve her, you still love her, and that’s okay” Y/N blurts out, her words quick as she blabs on while Harry watches her, a smile on his face as she explains and accepts his feelings.

“Never knew you were Shakespeare” is all he says, she rolls her eyes laughing, slapping his bicep a little as he shuts the album, tucking it away in the drawer again before turning his focus back onto Y/N beside him.

“Seriously though, never tell yourself you’ve been grieving for too long, it’s okay to grieve and cry yourself to sleep some nights, I get that, I do. You lost a person who made you who you are, but don’t forget, you still have a little one that will need you to be the person who makes her who she is”

Harry thinks she’s amazing, she’s smart and she’s so empathetic towards everyone and anyone. She has a heart of gold and she will never let anyone explain hers or anyone else’s feelings for them, she always allows people to express who they are, heck, one night she brought Harry to a gym after hours, explaining how her brother is a trainer there and he gave her the keys on the condition that she does his laundry for a month, she let Harry rage out and punch the shit out of a punching bag one night because he was so upset. She cheered him on and he was smiling as he was punching towards the end, she helped him release the emotions that built up and would of lead him back down a dark path.

She’s been an Angel sent from above, he knows Myla sent her to him because of how much they’re alike, Harry knows for sure they were sisters in a past life, their kind hearts and understanding natures alike but they have their differences, Myla was very out spoken and loved to party but Y/N is reserved and would rather stay inside with a hot chocolate and her crosswords while watching TV, but that’s another thing that Harry finds fascinating about her, she’s younger than him by eight years, when he was her age he was partying.

“Thank you Y/N, I needed this tonight” he says with a smile, her own smile on her face as she nods leaning over to rub her hand over his in a comforting manner, the pair looking at one another as they soak in their presences.

“It’s getting late, I should go” she says realising it’s nearly midnight, Harry and her need to be in work tomorrow morning and Harry has to wake up to get his little lady ready for school also. He gets a bit saddened when she says this, he secretly wants to hear more of her own college years and her own prom much like he told her earlier.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow” he says with a smile, watching as she gathers up her bag and throws it over her shoulder, car keys now in her hand as she smiles at him once more before heading for the den door. She pauses and looks back at him, his eyes meeting hers as they hold contact for a few seconds before she speaks up.

“See you tomorrow, Harry”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles one shot #harry styles fandom #fan fic author #singledad!harry #dad!harry #anon <3 #anon ask #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles prompts #fan fiction #fan fic prompts #fan fic requests

[zackcrazyvalentine]

Saw requests were open so here I am! 😊

I’d love to request headcannons of the Demon Brothers + Undatables (If you can, if not you can just do the Brothers) from Obey Me reacting to an MC that has Galaxy eyes. Their eyes are a glossy purple-blue, they have star-like pupils that changes patterns everytime they blink, and rather than blush red; They blush purple and get mini constellations across their face and ears. If they cry, their tears are hella sparkly too! MC has baby pictures/family photos to prove their eyes are natural and run in the family.

YOOOO!! As someone who has zodiac sign related OCs, and that loves the stars, this is such a wonderful prompt~❤️

Since this involves many characters, it’ll be under the cut and slightly shorter per character than previous hcs, but hopefully still enjoyable

HEADS UP! This includes spoilers for lessons ~14-15 (and has yandere themes in someone's belphie's part)

Here you go, luv!

-- -- --

OVERVIEW

Alright, so it’s a little obvious all the character are surprised with the looks of this human

Some are easier to convince it’s natural, while others think it’s a product of permanent magic/demon contracts

Needless to say, all of them get lost in MC’s eyes

All of them try to make them blush or cry, in their own special ways, to see their full beauty

💙👿 Lucifer 🖋️

“Apologies if my stare unsettles you.” He took their hand and placed a kiss upon their knuckles, “Your eyes are simply magnificent. I find myself unable to look away.”

The first thing that crosses Luci’s mind when he meets them is  “Which demon did they sign a contract with to look like that?”

I think this one will try to fight back the urge to stare at them and be mesmerized by their beauty

Eventually, he just gives up and lets his eyes wander to their face and examine the sparkling stars

Whether he does it on purpose or not, Lucifer makes MC blush that lovely shade of wine purple. Always a gift to see the constellations that show up in their dark flush

Likes to stroke their face, especially run his thumb along their cheek and try to feel the shining lights on their skin

Will try to point out the constellations and stars he recognizes

💛😈 Mammon 💰💸

“Whu-? Huh?! No, no! Absolutely not! I-I wasn’t looking at ya because of the shining stars in your eyes… but, uh… Could ya maybe look into my eyes for a moment? Please?”

Oh god… when Mammon meets them, one and only one thought crosses his mind: If human limbs were already sought after in the Devildom market… How much money would this LIVE human with stars in their eyes cost?

(yup, let’s face it, folks… Mammon may be one of the very first sweethearts we see in game, but he’s still a demon, one very greedy demon)

Just let him see their tears. Boy, may any omnipotent force help them because he WILL try to make them cry just to see how much demons, witches and wizards pay for their sparkly tears

But then~ Whatever was left of his tender angel heart crumbled when he succeeded the first time. Never did it again and never collected any tears to sell

Mammon likes to explore their skin for more constellations. Arms, hands, shoulders, legs, feet, neck, anything they allow to touch!

What he loves most? Making them cry out of laughter and seeing little glittering drops roll down their cheeks, which he then proceeds to wipe away

Always gets lost in their eyes, but denies he was staring

🧡👿 Leviathan 🎮

“You’re just like an anime character! Wait, could it be that.. the author was inspired by your ancestor?!”

BOY OH BOY LEVI’S ELATED

Seriously, once his contract’s done and he accepts them into his room, he won’t ever stop examining their cheeks and eyes (with respect, of course, he knows how weird and uncomfortable it is to be observed so intently) 

You know the first thing he did was introduce them to his anime characters that have features similar to them

GUESS WHAT??? HE ADORES WHEN THEY LIGHT UP HIS ROOM WITH THEIR CONSTELLATIONS!

Makes sure to watch super cheesy lovely shoujo, romantic, and cute anime/movies just so he can see how the blush darkens their cheeks and ears

Levi already zoned out when watching Henry’s big aquarium, he 100% does so too when watching the patterns in their eyes shift with each blink

The otaku musters all his courage, when feeling brave enough, to place a kiss on their cheeks bc they’re just too adorable (both proceed to flush deep red/purple)

💚 Satan 👿📖

“Wonderful… Thank you for showing me the night sky. It’s even more breathtaking when through your eyes.”

Alright, there are pictures that prove it’s all natural… but, where are the written records of space-filled humans? He gets to researching (if he finds proof or not, I leave it up to you)

Regardless, they’re an enigma to him, and he’d love to keep observing you up close

Oh, if only he could read and look at their face at the same time~

Satan may or may not have a secret notebook in which he records different occurrences that happened with MC and how he would describe their unique beauty in that moment 

Many of his books and encyclopedias have maps of the sky, he’s taken up some constellations (which he points out, just like Lucifer pls don’t k word me satan)

I swear, this boy… Wants to see their beauty immortalized in writing, described in only the most wonderful ways by his favorite authors (“An honest opinion, your allure deserves to be eternally portrayed in books so every living being can imagine what splendor the world holds.”)

Hard for him to pick a favorite aspect of theirs, but he certainly is very curious what genes caused such phenotype

💗😈 Asmodeus 💋🦂

“That’s not fair! How am I to compete with someone with galaxy eyes?! S-Surely, we’re both ethereal in our own ways? ...But I’m clearly still #1!”

B O Y 

One would think his first instinct was to try and seduce them… but oh no, no! For a moment there, Asmo thought he was Levi, feeling pure raw jealousy and envy at their magnificent eyes and glowing skin

He acted sweet and flirty just so his brothers wouldn’t suspect anything, but he felt terrible boiling magma in his stomach (why was he, a former angel, not blessed with looks as mesmerizing as theirs?)

It all changed once Asmo saw them awkwardly walk through RAD’s halls, littered with demons staring at their peculiar skin. Unwanted looks, intense stares, all of them varying in degrees of judgement. He remembered his first days as a demon, as a lust demon, how he disliked the stares at first. (“Looks like we’re not so different after all…”)

He went to their side, making light talk to take their attention off the stares. A human’s blush was never this beautiful before.

It was then when he became a little obsessed with throwing compliments their way to see the tips of their ears turn purple with little glittering spots

Asmodeus would adore to explore their entire body. Like, really, he wonders if their other… parts prone to blood rushes have the same purple tint

Allow him and he’ll cover every single little star on their skin with kisses

Asmo went from despising them to adoring every bit of them, but if he has to pick, their skin is his favorite

❤️👿 Beelzebub 🍔🤤

“Blink… Blink again… Once more... “ A very tender smile graced his lips, “Belphie would definitely adore your eyes.”

“But for me,” He wrapped his arms around them and lifted them up the ground, “Your blush whenever I hold you close is my favorite!” 

Like, really peeps, Beel immediately remembers his twin’s fascination with stars and the night sky when his eyes land on MC

It’s strange, but he feels at peace whenever this star filled human is with him

Beel isn't much to care for looks, but wow… this is one very interesting human

When you guys were helping Luke, he definitely stared at the flickering lights on their cheeks and ears to find sleep (and in that moment, he felt Belphie's and Lilith's calming presence with him once more)

They once cried of laughter due to some food incident, and WOW that is so pretty

May or may not have asked them if he could taste their tears asdfgjdi "They look tasty"

Always tries to surprise them with food and hugs once he noticed they blush constellations

Probably the only thing able to make him eat slower is watching the shifting starts in their eyes

💜👿 Belphegor 🛏️💤

"I...uhm…" He blushed lightly, "[Name], could you please look at me? Stars are my favorite...and you, your eyes..." Belphegor is at a total loss of words at the magic in their stare.

I'm going to delve into that before we get to the fluff so

SPOILERS FOR LESSON 16 / YANDERE BELPHIE AHEAD

Sure, he loved their eyes once he saw stars in them...but they are human

Boy, oh boy, did he ENJOY wholeheartedly seeing those glittering tears roll down their face as he took their life

"Say… Would you mind me taking your eyes out to keep as mine? They'll surely look nice hanging from my headboard"

"Is your blood star filled too? Let us see!"

Such a shame that it was a human who was blessed with such wonderful features~

END OF YANDERE (spoilers for other lessons continue)

After learning they're Lilith's descendant, he wonders if their stars are product of her angelic lineage

"Sister… is this your way of telling me to be happy? Bringing a human that is so kind and pretty into my life?"   "You filled them with the stars I love so much… Thank you"

What DOESN'T he love about them? Eyes, cheeks, skin, all the flickering stars and shades of blue-purple they blush in, their pupils and eye color

But out of it all, he adores looking at their eyes as he falls asleep

Also likes to trace the stars on their skin, be it forming constellations or in random patterns

Tickle wars happen with him, Beel and MC to see the glittering liquid from how hard they're laughing

I seriously cannot express how much Belphie's in love with this whole human    Fun, caring, intelligent, kind, adventurous, and just… plain perfect

😈 Lord Diavolo 👑

"I was not 'blessed' like the brothers to see clear skies in the Celestial Realm, and it's uncommon for me to go up into the human world." Diavolo sat close to them as Barbatos left after serving tea. "But I can say I'm far more blessed with you here to show me the stars." A handsome smile shaped his lips, widening after they blushed.

Honestly, Diavolo is hard to pin for me

Sure, he gets surprised by the human's looks, but welcomes them with open arms regardless

Actually enjoys their company because he gets to see a little piece of the night sky he gets to see very few times

When they show him their baby pictures to prove it's all natural and real, the Prince will take to share some of his own (just ‘cuz, to bond)

He likes to make them laugh, if not to see the small shining tears, to see their face flush dark purple and show constellations

Their presence is calming

He sometimes comes with the request of sitting together so he can see their starry eyes to help him settle down and relax

😈 Barbatos ☕

"These are very particular features… Perhaps I should visit the past to know what led to this?" The butler pondered. "No, I certainly wouldn't like my actions to alter timelines and prevent you from being here." A polite, yet teasing, smirk came to his face.

Like Satan, Barbatos would want to find written records of the existence of other starry humans

Very curious what caused this in a human, but he himself hypothesizes it's due to the angelic lineage

Likes to say flirty things to make them flush, he chuckles every time

Is very interested to see the magical potential their tears have for potions and protection charms

Curious to see if their tears can be used in food preparations (thinks his special tea would look even better with some of their tears added to it)

With how his ability is time travel, Barbatos likes to (privately) call himself Time while he dubs MC Space

He likes their blushes most

😇 Simeon 📖

"If only I had met you sooner, I would've included you in my books. Your character would've been adored by many; not just because of appearance, but also due to your kind heart."

Simeon likes that there's a little piece of sky here with him

He's also one to wonder if their looks are due to Lilith's blood, will have to do some research back in the Celestial Realm

Is always complimenting their eyes

Half expected their eyes to reflect the actual sky at different hours (dawn, evening, dusk, sundown, etc.)

Whenever he stumbles upon a cute star or moon shaped accessory or sweater, he buys it as a gift for them

Likes their eyes the most. He's an angel and has seen many interesting pairs of eyes in his heavenly siblings, but none as breathtaking as theirs

His time writing TSL may be coming to an end, but poetry is always an option to share his admiration for MC with the world~

😇 Luke 🧁🎂

"Hey hey! Michael used to say my eyes look like sunrise!" The small one exclaimed with a big smile, "I'm dawn and you're the night!" Luke giggled.

OMG, THIS CUTIE 🥺💕

Forgive him for staring longer than is welcomed, he's just very amazed by their looks!

He's seen angels with sparkles in their hair and wings, but to see a human with stars and night sky on their skin!!! Is fascinating!

Luke is very grateful to have met MC, he just feels super blessed to know someone as unique as them!

Will use them as inspiration for cookie and cake decorating

Another one curious about what their tears can add to desserts

But don't worry! So long as MC is in his line of sight, he will not allow a single tear to be shed!

To make sure no demon endangers them, this little angel will do his best to protect MC!

He adores their eyes and always asks to look at them ("You can look at mine in return! And see the daybreak Michael sees in them!")

🧙🏻‍♂️ Solomon 🔮

"Oh? What is this I see, a rival?" The wizard chuckled, "We can share the starry sky aesthetic, I don't mind."

SPACE 🤝 AESTHETIC 🤝🤝🤝

He immediately fires a lot of questions their way to find as much information as he can about their looks, magical power, and magical properties of their peculiar features

While the rest just wonder what their tears can do, Solomon is the fearless soul to actually ask for a sample to conduct tests with

If they become close, Solomon will find a way to preserve one of their tears to carry with him at all times

Yup, you guessed it! His favorite feature is their tears

...he makes them shed quite the handful with the cooking he gives as thanks for the samples lol

This one wonders if they are also star filled on the inside...as in, their tissues and organs (and blood)

But worry not, unless he’s given permission, Solomon will keep his hands to himself 

-- -- --

Sorry if this is so short Dx

And aah...sorry for including yandere themes, but it just fit and was interesting to think of~

Still, hope this was enjoyable

Thank you for the request!!

#march 2021 special #obey me #swd #obey me! #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #om lucifer #lucifer #mammon #om mammon #mammon obey me #leviathan #levi #om leviathan #leviathan obey me #satan #satan obey me #om satan #asmodeus #asmo #om asmodeus #asmodeus obey me #beelzebub #beezebub obey me #om beelzebub #belphegor #belphie #om belphegor #belphegor obey me #request pavilion

[lotusss-flowerbomb]

Nice To Meet You

Bucky x Wilson!reader

Warnings: 18+, Smut (duh, so kids go home.), Godzilla Vs Kong spoiler

A/N: I’m trying to get back to it. I’m so rusty, so please bear with me. 😩

Also, this story has unprotected sex. Remember that this is just fiction and if he ain’t got no rubber then he can’t be your lover.

Word Count: 3,554 (My bad.)

********

You pulled into the driveway of the home you shared with your older siblings and nephews. You popped the trunk before getting out in preparation to get the many groceries you'd just bought. 

You were bent over in the trunk when you heard a man's voice. 

"Excuse me?" He called out. 

You stopped what you were doing and turned to him. "Yes?" 

"Hi, I'm looking for Sam Wilson, does he live here?" He asked. 

"Yes, he does, but he isn't here right now." You answered. 

"Oh okay, um, I'm —" he started. 

"I know who you are," you interrupted him. I'm Y/N Wilson." 

"I didn't know Sam was married," he said shocked. 

You turned around and pulled a case of water from the trunk and gave it to him. Then sat another on top of it. 

"I'm not Sam's wife. I'm his youngest sister." You told him and hooked bags onto his arms. "This way," you led him to the large porch and into the house. 

You walked him into the kitchen where he set everything down, thanked him and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge for him. 

"I didn't know Sam had a sister. It's nice to meet you," he reached out to shake your hand. 

You grabbed the gloved hand and shook it. 

"Sam won't be back until tomorrow. He and Sarah went to get supplies for the boat a few towns over and they’re staying the night." 

"Sam has a boat?" He asked, confused. 

"What exactly do you know about my brother?" 

"Not much, I guess," he shrugged. 

"Wow, a man risks his life and has to go on the run for two years because of you and you couldn't take the time to ask him about his life or family?" You raised your brow at him. 

"Okay, I deserved that," he agreed. 

"Mmm hmm," you turned to put the groceries away. 

"Uh, I'll come back tomorrow when Sam's here." 

"How'd you get here? I didn't see a car out there." 

"I kind of walked from the bus station," he scratched the back of his neck. 

"And where are you staying?" You followed up. 

"I'm good at figuring those things out." 

"Right," you rolled your eyes. "You can stay here tonight. I have to meet my brother and sister at the docks tomorrow and we can just ride up together." 

"Oh, no, I don't want to impose. I'll be fine." He insisted. 

"Have you eaten?" You asked. 

His stomach decided to growl loudly at that moment. It wasn't exactly unusual for Bucky to forget to eat. 

"I'm gonna fry some fish for lunch. The guest room is the third room on the left upstairs. You can put your things in there. Also, lose the gloves. You don't have to hide who you are here." 

Bucky smiled at your back and followed your instructions. He looked at all of the family photos on the wall as he made his way to the room. 

He felt bad for the twinge of jealousy in the pit of his stomach at how happy you all looked. He wished he still had photos of his family to look back on. 

Bucky put his bag on the big plush bed and changed his shirt. He was happy you said he didn't have to hide who he was there. It was hot as hell with those gloves on. 

********

When he returned to the kitchen you were already outside lighting up the deep fryer. 

"Anything I can help with?" He asked when he walked out onto the deck. 

"Absolutely, you can make the salad," you handed him the ingredients and a knife. 

The two of you worked in silence until you were finished and sat down to eat. 

"Thank you for letting me stay here," he finally said. 

"Of course, you're Sam's friend." 

"I don't know about friends. More like coworkers," he laughed. 

"Wow, is that a smile? You should do it more often. It's nice." You suggested. 

Bucky turned red. He couldn't remember when he was complimented last for a non violent act. 

"So, why are you here, Mr. Barnes?" 

"Just needed to talk to Sam about some things and you can call me Bucky." 

"I hope you aren't here to talk to him about the shield. We tried to talk him out of it at first, but he made a decision and just like the rest of us, you need to respect that." 

"He gave it away," he said with an attitude. 

"Actually, he didn't. He put it away, there's a difference. And maybe if you tried to understand his choices instead of having an attitude about it, you'd understand why he did what he did." You matched his fire. 

"Either way, I'm taking it back, because he deserves it. He's the only one who should have it." 

"I agree, but I won't let you give him anymore shit about what he felt was right." 

"I thought Sam was the superhero in this family?" He asked sarcastically. 

"Yeah, Sam protects the world and I protect Sam. You should be happy you're talking to me and not Sarah though, she would've punched you by now," you got up and took your empty plate inside. 

Bucky chuckled and watched as you walked away. His intention wasn't to come there and talk about the shield, but he still admired the way you had your brother's back. 

When you walked back out you had two drinks in your hands. You sat one down in front of him and went to your chair. 

"What's this?" He asked, looking at the red and orange drink. 

"A tequila sunrise. Heavy on the tequila," you sipped from your straw. 

"You know I can't get drunk, right?" 

"Seriously?" 

"Yeah, the serum speeds up my metabolism, so I can't get drunk," he shrugged as he took a huge gulp. 

"I'm sure that sucks." 

"You have no idea." 

You sat outside and talked until the sun went down and then you went inside to clean up the kitchen. You washed dishes while Bucky dried them off and put them away. 

Bucky's phone was sitting on the table when you first heard the familiar dating app notification sound. You ignored it, but by the third time you finally asked if he was gonna check it. 

"It's probably no one," he said. 

"No one? You're getting matches like crazy. Let's see if they're any good," you picked up the phone. 

"What? No, absolutely not." He took the phone from you. 

"Why not? You could potentially find the love of your life out here," you sat down and patted the seat of the chair next to you. 

He finally gave in and sat next to you. Bucky opened his dating app and the two of you looked through his potential baes. He was swiping left on most of them so quick that you had to stop him. 

"You're not even reading their bios. Give it a chance, jeez." 

He slowed down a bit. 

"Melissa, likes long walks on the beach and playing in the mud? Next." He swiped. 

"Ooh, she's cute. Ella, an aspiring model who loves comedy. And look at that, her favorite movie is Robocop," you bit your lip to hold in your laugh. 

"You're worse than Sam," he said annoyed and put his phone away. “And it’s Robocop 3. That’s like the worst one.”

"Oh come on, Bucky, give her a chance she has two dogs!" You laughed. 

"I'm more of a cat guy actually," he said. 

"You're adorable," you continued laughing, “let's go watch a movie," you put your hand out for him to grab and led him into the front room. 

You turned on the TV and scrolled through for something to watch and finally settled on Godzilla Vs Kong figuring the action would be fun. 

"Five bucks says Godzilla kicks the crap out of Kong," you said. 

"What?? King Kong was first. It's only right that he reigns supreme in this situation," he countered. 

"Put up or shut up, Buck," you shrugged. 

He pulled the money from his wallet and sat it on the table. 

Halfway through the movie you were both talking smack to one another. Bucky hadn't even realized how comfortable he'd become. Your legs were across his lap and he was holding them in place. Casually rubbing circles on your thigh every few minutes. 

When Godzilla pinned Kong down and the fight seemed to be over, you jumped up in celebration. 

"Yessss!!!! The dinosaur for the winnnn!!" You danced in front of him. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, show off," he chuckled. 

You finished the remainder of the movie teasing one another along the way, when it ended you went up to get ready for bed. 

*******

Once you were done with your shower you put on your pajamas and went to the guest room to check on Bucky. 

He was standing in the window shirtless with his jeans unbuttoned looking out into the dark yard. You stared at his back. Your eyes tracing his entire body. 

You shifted your stance as you felt your body starting to react to the sight of him. Your pussy was getting wet causing you to forget why you'd even gone to the room in the first place. 

"Everything okay?" You heard his voice break your thoughts. 

"Hmm? Um, yeah, I was just coming to make sure you didn't need anything before I went to bed?" 

"No, I'm okay, thank you." He smirked. "You know you can just ask whatever you want to know." 

You walked further into the room never taking your eyes off where his flesh ended and his metal arm began. You reached up to touch him and he flexed his arm a little causing the plates to shift. 

You jumped back slightly before running your finger down the cool metal and then touching the scar he had. 

"Does it hurt?" You asked quietly. 

"Not anymore, but I still remember the pain," he answered. 

"You're a nice guy, Bucky and I really wish that this never had to happen to you. Although, I can't lie and say that I don't think it's really cool." You ran your fingers over the metal again. 

He took your chin in between his fingers and redirected your gaze to his eyes. He's wanted to kiss you since lunch and has been doing his best to hold back out of respect for his friend. 

"Can I kiss you?" He said barely above a whisper. 

You didn't even answer, just pressed your lips to his. The kiss was needy. You'd both been craving each other all day. He let his hands fall to the small of your back and you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

Bucky picked you up and was leading you over to the bed when you could hear your phone ringing in the other room. You broke the kiss and he lowered you to the floor. 

"Shit!" You ran from the room. 

You picked up the phone and saw that it was Sam trying to FaceTime you. You hurried to answer. 

"Hey bro!" You said happily. 

"What you doing? What took you so long?" He immediately asked. 

"I was downstairs when I heard the phone, rudeness," you lied. 

Sam just looked at you. He could always tell when you were lying. Even one as small as that. You decided to switch the subject before he asked more questions. 

"Hey so guess who stopped by?" You said as you walked down the hall to the other room. 

You peeked into the guest room before going in. Bucky had put his shirt back on and stood when he saw you coming in. You stood next to him and put him in the camera. 

" Hi, Sam," Bucky said dryly. 

It may have seemed like a normal greeting, but he was really annoyed that he'd interrupted a moment he'd built up the courage to have all day. 

"Hey, what are you doing in my house Wall-E?" He chuckled. 

"I came to talk to you, but you're obviously not here." 

"Yeah, I put him up in the guest room for the night and we'll meet you down at the docks tomorrow." 

"Alright... You'd better not be getting sweet on my baby sister either," he cut his eyes at Bucky. 

"First of all, my sex life is none of your business. Secondly, there is no sweetness." You rolled your eyes. "Where's Sarah?" 

"You know she needs an hour long shower before bed just like you," he responded in a snarky tone. 

"Well, I'm going to bed, so tell her I said goodnight. I love y'all and we'll see you tomorrow." You said before hanging up. 

You put your phone on the charger for the night and when you turned around Bucky was standing at the door. 

"Goodness!" You yelled as you pressed a hand to your chest. 

He didn't say anything, just rushed over and started kissing you again. This time, even hungrier. 

Your tongues met and your body tingled. His hand gripped beneath your thigh as the other held him up. 

You broke the kiss to pull his shirt over his head. The few seconds felt like an eternity for Bucky. He never wanted to take his lips off you, but he did once more. 

"Are you sure about this?" He asked as he trailed kisses down your body. 

He was finally on his knees in front of you. Face in between your thighs. 

"I need to hear you say it, doll." He kissed one thigh. 

"Yes," you breathed. 

"Yes, what?" He kissed the other thigh further down. 

"I'm sure, Bucky. I want you. Please," you buried your fingers in his hair. 

He licked your clit slowly at first. Taking you all in and tasting your nectar. It had been so damn long since he had such a pretty pussy in his face. 

You could hear him moaning as he sucked and slurped on your clit. 

"Ooh, fuck baby, yes," you moaned. 

Bucky's dick was screaming for release from his jeans. It was pressing hard against the fabric and ready for your touch, but he wasn't done with you just yet. 

He spread your thighs wider and stuck his tongue in your tight pussy. He tongue fucked you until you felt your first orgasm approaching. You reached down and started rubbing your clit. 

"Yeah, play with that pussy. Good girl," he praised. 

You rubbed faster. Bucky stuck his tongue back inside and let you fuck his face some more. Your legs shook and the warm juices flowed onto his tongue. He moved your hand and licked from your hole to your clit. 

"Told you I was more of a cat guy," he smiled. 

"Shut up and share," you grabbed his face and stuck your tongue out to taste yourself on his lips. 

You pushed his pants down and tried to flip him, so you could take him into your mouth, but he wouldn't budge. 

"No, need you now," he said as he slowly pushed inside of you. "Fuck," he said in your ear. 

He paused. He knew that if he moved he'd embarrass himself for sure, but you were so wet and tight. Fitting him perfectly. 

Bucky buried his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly started to move inside of you. Allowing you to adjust to him without hurting you too much. 

"You feel so good." 

Hearing you say that made him pick up the pace. He rolled his hips faster and pushed your knees to your chest. He wanted you to feel every last inch of him inside of you. 

He ripped your night shirt in half and exposed your breasts, watching them jiggle as he slammed into your pussy. 

Now he wanted to watch something else jiggle, so he pulled out and turned you on to your stomach. He pulled you up by the waist onto your knees and slid his hard cock back inside of you. 

"Fuck me," he demanded as he slapped each of your ass cheeks. 

You obliged and threw your ass back on his slick coated dick and he watched your ass bounce in the process. He knew he wasn't going to last long like this. 

"That's it, doll, fuck me. I wanna cum in that pretty little mouth of yours." He said. 

His words caused you to cum. Your pussy clenched around him so tight and you knew when you heard the soft, "Oh fuck," leave his lips that he was about to explode. 

Bucky pulled out of you and stood on the bed. He pumped his warm thickness into your waiting mouth while moaning loudly. 

When he was done, you let some of the cum drip from your tongue. He slapped his dick in it and you swallowed the rest. 

"Good girl," he dropped to his knees and kissed you roughly. 

He fell back onto the bed taking you with him. You laid on his arm and traced his jawline with your finger. 

"You're beautiful," he said to you. 

"Thank you," you smiled. 

"Should I start you another bath?" 

"No, I can take one in the morning." 

"Good, because I don't want you to leave anyway." He kissed your forehead. 

"Get some rest," you told him. 

He looked tired and you could tell that he sleeps horribly at night. 

Bucky closed his eyes. You waited for a few minutes before going to the bathroom to clean up. When you came back and laid down, he immediately wrapped his arms around you. 

You snuggled into his chest and drifted off to sleep.

********

When you awoke the next morning Bucky's arms were still wrapped around you. 

"Good morning," he said and planted a kiss on your shoulder. 

"How'd you know I was awake?" Your voice still laced with sleep. 

"Your breathing changed," he kissed you again. 

You could feel his hard cock pressing against your ass. His metal hand traced a cool trail between your breasts and down to your clit. 

You spread your legs to give him better access and then your phone started ringing. You rolled eyes when you saw Sam's name. This is the second time he's ruined your moment. 

"Hello?" You answered with an attitude. 

"Well good morning to you too, sunshine," he said. 

"Samuel, it's literally," you looked at your phone for the time, "shit, it's 10am??" 

"Yeah, exactly you slept in. Get your butt up." 

Bucky didn't care that Sam was on the phone. He slid his fingers inside your pussy and pumped them slowly. Your body quivered beneath his touch. 

"I'm getting — I'll call you when we're on the way." You quickly hung up. 

Bucky chuckled. He moved his fingers faster inside of you and sucked a nipple into his mouth. 

Your orgasm was so close and then he pulled his fingers out. Your eyes popped open and the satisfied smirk on his face let you know that he'd done it on purpose. 

"Next time, don't answer the phone, doll." He kissed your lips and walked towards the door. "Oh and don't even think about touching yourself." He said before he disappeared. 

He was out of his mind. You quickly grabbed your toy from your drawer and went into the bathroom. You turned on the shower and sucked the vibrator into your mouth to wet it. 

You put your foot up on the tub and slowly fucked yourself with the toy. Your eyes were pinched shut and you were so into what you were feeling that you hadn't heard the door open. 

Bucky watched as you pleasured yourself. He was turned on by the sight, but pissed, because he told you not to. He walked over and snatched the toy from you. Covering your mouth, so you couldn't scream. 

"Now, I remember telling you not to do this, doll." He moved his hand and nipped at your collar bone. 

"No, you told me not to touch myself. I used the toy," you said. 

"Real cute," he growled. 

He put the toy on the counter and walked you into the shower. He got down on his knees and started eating your pussy again. 

He should've been punishing you, but instead he was treating himself. Bucky knew in that moment that you were now his addiction. 

You gripped his hair while he held on to the leg that was thrown over his shoulder. 

"I want to feel you. Please," you begged. 

He wanted to deny you, but he simply couldn't. Your wish was his command. 

He stood and lifted you up, slowly sliding you down on his hard dick. He was sure to keep you against the wall, so your hair wouldn't get wet. 

Bucky fucked into you slowly. Enjoying the feeling of your slick walls. He wanted to stay inside of you forever. 

"I'm gonna cum, baby!" You mewled. 

You heard him grunt in response. He was close himself and when you tighten your grip around him he exploded inside of you. 

You bit his neck as your own orgasm washed over you. He finally let you down and the two of you finished the shower together.

Bucky had no clue how he'd break this news to Sam, but he knew he had to, because there was no way he wanted to ever go without your touch again. 

********

#Bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x you #Smut #marvel smut #marvel fanfic #Avengers #falcon and the winter soldier

[krreader]

BTS reacting to a sasaeng trying to touch/take photos of your baby bump.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: mentions of physical assault genre: angst ; fluff word count: 2.5k+

a/n: I hope the reality would be the boys yeeting these sasaengs into another universe, seriously. but for the sake of the story, here. thanks for the request @sakuroseuchiha​, and I’m very sorry it took forever ♥

kim seokjin

“What is this?” Jin entered the bedroom and practically pushed the phone in your face, his breathing heavy and his cheeks flushed, clearly upset.

You looked at what he was showing you, but then quickly averted your gaze and continued folding the laundry as if what he was showing you didn’t matter.

“(Y/N)!” he rarely got angry, not like this. And you knew that he wasn't angry with you.. maybe only for not telling him about what had happened today. He grabbed your upper arm and turned you so that you had to look at him, “Why didn't you tell me about this?”

“I didn't want you to get angry.. like now,” you sighed deeply, “I wasn't hurt, I walked into the nearest store and they didn't follow me inside because the shop owners were kind enough to help me and keep them out. All they got was a blurry photo.”

Your husband's mouth dropped, his eyebrows furrowing, “How can you be so nonchalant about this?”

You snorted, “What do you want me to do, Seokjin? Do you want me to sob my eyes out because some sixteen year old girls wanted to become Twitter famous by posting our unborn child on their Twitter account? If I were that weak, then marrying you wouldn't have been a good idea in the first place,” you pushed his hand away, “I'm fine.”

Maybe, but he wasn't. He was so tired of this bullshit.

And you only found out just how tired he was when you wanted to go grocery shopping the next day and were face-to-face with a man that introduced himself as your new bodyguard that your husband had hired to make sure that situations like those wouldn't happen anymore.

You had meant what you had said, you were fine, but knowing that someone that size was following you around and making sure that no harm would come to you and – even more importantly – to your unborn child – made you feel a lot more at ease.

min yoongi

Yoongi cursed and thanked BigHit at the same time for existing.

On one hand, he hated himself for ever having signed up with them, because now you and his unborn child were in danger because of him, but at the same time, he was so grateful that they tried their best in protecting the three of you to the best of their abilities.

One of the staff members had managed to gain access to a secret forum used only by sasaengs, where they shared private information about idols that nobody but these idols, their families and the company should know about.

And during this 'undercover work', she discovered a thread dedicated to you and Yoongi, or more specifically, your unborn child.

She found out that they had found out where you had planned to have your delivery and wanted to be there to take pictures of the two – or in the end – three of you.

You and Yoongi would have had no idea about this. You would have had no other choice but to endure it and later see these very private photos online, but thanks to her, you were able to switch hospitals last minute and were able to handle this matter privately.

That female staff member said she was merely doing her job when you and Yoongi thanked her later, but your husband made sure that she didn't just get a raise, but a promotion on top of it.

You both owed her a lot.

jung hoseok

“Look, daddy!” Hoseok beamed happily as he watched his son point upwards to the head of the giraffe, “Soooooo biggy!”

“If you want to be that big, you need to eat all the vegetables that mommy puts on your plate from now on, okay?” he tickled the little boy a little, engulfed by his beautiful laughter, that he didn't realize what was happening behind him.

You were standing a few feet behind them, wanting them to enjoy a father-son moment, while also watching the buggy. However, unlike your husband, you weren't smiling. Your eyes were focused on three girls to your right who had been following you for the past fifteen minutes and were now debating on whether or not to go up to your husband and say something.

And you really didn't mind if they said hello when it was only Hoseok, but your child was with you and you didn't want to involve him in that life. Not yet, not if you could avoid it.

However, you had been wrong all along. You thought that they were whispering among themselves to figure out a strategy on when to go up to Hoseok. 

But that wasn't the case.

They were waiting until they were sure that he was busy enough with your son not to notice what they were doing.

Which was pull out their phones, all three of them, and then point the camera at you.

Even though you knew it wasn't actually you, but the baby bump that had begun to form. A story that had only been rumors up until now, but you were too far along now to hide it any longer.

The moment you realized what was happening, you pushed the buggy forward until you were at your husband's side and said: “We need to go. Right now.”

With how alert you were, he instantly became too, started looking around and realized what was happening.

He put his son in the baggy, then took off his jacket and placed it over your shoulders, before he pushed the baggy with one hand and you gently forward with his hand on your lower back.

So much for keeping the secret about baby number two a little longer.

kim namjoon

Namjoon had been an idol for long enough to know when someone was obviously staring at him out in public.

And you had been with him for long enough to know when he was uncomfortable. He constantly shifted in his seat, glanced around and nervously bounced his leg up and down.

Eventually you reached over the table and put your hand over this, “Come on. Let's ask them if they can fill our drinks in take-away cups and go home.”

You had wanted to enjoy the possible last peaceful coffee shop date that you could have before your daughter would be born, but when married to Kim Namjoon, a peaceful date outside was almost never an option. And normally, when it had been only him and you, he hadn't minded as much. But now he was scared for his child.

And as soon as the two of you got up, his biggest fear became reality, when a girl walked by and spilled her – thankfully – cold coffee on you. More specifically, on your baby bump. Accidentally, as she tried to make you two believe, but you knew better.

Even more so when she started bowing, apologized and then immediately wanted to rub over your baby bump with tissues to clean your clothes.

Namjoon was alert in an instant, but you were faster and grabbed the wrist of the girl, smiling at her, but your eyes were so dangerous that the girl gulped down.

“Thank you, but I'll do that myself.”

“I..- I only..-”

“I said I can do it myself,” you grabbed your bag and then Namjoon's hand, “Let's just go home.”

Sometimes he forgot just how much of a mother you already were before your baby was even born. 

Nobody like that was allowed to touch your baby, not now and not ever.

park jimin

Jimin had been so naive to think that the pregnancy would be a peaceful one for you. He had let his guard down after month seven, after nothing bad or weird having happened.

And that was a huge mistake.

You were due in a few weeks and he wanted you two to have one final romantic night out before the baby would be born, meaning dinner in the restaurant of your choice, then going for a walk at the Han River, then going home and.. well..

But your night was cut short when you couldn't even make it to the restaurant. As soon as Jimin had parked the car and helped you out, a swarm of fans, which were sasaengs through and through, because they were the only ones who could have found out where you'd be eating tonight, came running to you.

He realized it in time, managed to push you back into the car before their grabby hands could touch your baby bump and managed to push all of them back enough to shut the car door.

Their attention shifted from you to him and they all started to touch him and pull on his clothes. He tried to push them away from him so that he could go around the car and get in himself, but there were simply too many.

All the while, you were sitting in the car, desperately banging on the window and begging them to stop, trying to open the door to help your husband, but he was blocking it from getting opened.

There was no way he’d let you back out there.

You reached into your purse and wanted to call the police, but since you were in an underground parking lot, your phone didn't have any service.

At that point, you were sobbing your eyes out because of how scared you were for Jimin, but then someone from the building, maybe guests of one of the restaurants or people that worked there, saw what was happening and helped Jimin pull the girls away from him, one after the other. 

They told him to get in the car and he did so without hesitation, reversing and then driving away without looking back, eternally grateful for these kind strangers.

“It's okay,” he tried to calm you down while driving away.

But it wasn't okay. Not when he had scratches on his face and hands, not when he was close to tears himself.. not when you realized all that stress caused you to suddenly go into labor. 

kim taehyung

This day had started out so well.

The weather was so perfect that Taehyung and you had spontaneously decided to go on a little road trip.

With you having passed the worst of your pregnancy phase and being able to actually walk and eat without throwing up every hour, it was now the perfect opportunity to just drive around and find a really cute spot to hang out, maybe have a picnic or coffee/tea.

But you should have guessed that it wasn't as easy as that, because Taehyung's super hardcore fans had never been ones to just leave him alone.

You had been driving for a while and you had become thirsty, so the two of you had searched for a very cute café and found one that was so aesthetically pleasing that you forgot about your surroundings for a second and just.. enjoyed it. Like every other normal human being would.

Your husband had gone inside to grab the drinks, so he wasn't there to stop what was happening.

“What the hell?!” you instantly pushed the chair back when you saw a hand reach down to your belly to touch it, then jumped up, “What do you think you're doing?!”

Unfortunately, there weren't too many people around to help you, only an elderly man and a young couple that, by the looks of it, hadn't even graduated high school. They wouldn’t be much help.

“Please, we just want to touch it. This is from Taehyung, directly from him, we just..-”

“I'm going to give you a fair warning,” your husband pushed himself between you and the girls, pointing his finger at one of the girls chest, “You come this close to my wife or child again, I will call the police and I'll make sure that your future is ruined. Do you understand?”

“But..-”

“No. No but. There is a line and you just crossed it. So this is my final warning. Leave now, or I'll call the police.”

The two girls glanced to the side to find the shop owner already standing there with her phone, ready to call the police if Taehyung said so.

You doubted that people like that had much planned for their future, but the threat of police and a possible lawsuit involving thousands, if not millions, if Taehyung had his way, scared them enough for them to scurry away.

You only allowed yourself to breathe again when they were out of sight, your husband immediately cupping your face and checking to see if you were harmed.

“I'm fine,” you shook your head a little, “I'm fine.”

“Shit,” he pulled you against him and kissed the top of your head, “I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I'll be more careful from now on.”

jeon jeongguk

This had been a massive scandal from the get-go. Not only were you and Jeongguk not married when rumors started to form that you were pregnant, but he was also 'way too young' to have a kid now and 'not in the right place in life yet' to be a father.

BigHit had kept quiet through it all, knowing that those weren't just rumors that people spewed, but the truth.

You were indeed pregnant. An accidental pregnancy that had shocked you and your boyfriend to the core, but after countless of nights crying and worrying, you've not just accepted it, but were looking forward to your baby.

The first few months were easy, a comeback had overshadowed the rumors and whenever they were doing interviews, BigHit made sure to tell the journalist not to ask any personal questions, or they'd be kicked out of the panels – they really had no mercy in that sense.

But there came a point where you just couldn't hide it anymore, unless you were to stay at home every single day till the day of the delivery.

And well, you didn’t.

You waited until Jeongguk was gone to leave, knowing that it'd be easier if it were just you, had taken precautions and worn a hat and a face mask... but these sasaengs, man.

You couldn't take fifteen footsteps until you heard screaming from a distance and a group of seven people charging at you with their phones up in the air, ready to take photos of your baby bump and expose it to the world.

Since you were still close to the entrance of your neighborhood, the security guard reacted perfectly, grabbed you by your upper arms and pulled you back in, closing the gate to Hannam Hill just in time and turned you around so that the girls wouldn't see your baby bump properly.

They were left standing and screaming at the fence, reaching through it like crazy zombies.

Rather scary, actually.

“You need to be careful, Ms. (Y/L/N),” the security guard warned as he walked you back to your apartment, “You can't just go out like this without precautions.”

“I just wanted to buy something for the baby,” you said sadly with slumped shoulders, “They have this limited Disney collection at Spao.. I just wanted to get something for my daughter.”

He let out a heavy sigh and watched you enter the building extremely upset.

Maybe it wasn’t his place, but when Jeongguk came home that night, he told him about the incident, wanting to make sure that he’d talk to you and make you understand that you couldn’t just go out like that without some sort of security.

And well, let’s just say Jeongguk’s father side really jumped out that night. He had you sit down on the couch and lectured you for nearly an hour without you saying a word.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

iv.lviii. (m)

Jaehyun and you lie on the couch and cuddle with each other. The kids played upstairs with Mia and the twins took a nap. "Are you looking forward to today?" You ask him while he stroked your stomach. Jaehyun has been meeting the 97-liners again for a long time. "Yeah, but I have a guilty conscience," he sighed and kissed your shoulder. "You don't need to. It's really okay." You smile and lean more into his chest. "May I tell the boys?" He suddenly asked carefully and you turn to him in surprise. He poked your belly button and grinned. "Oh, I mean, yeah, sure ..." You were kind of completely irritated. Everything was so different this pregnancy because you were still a little afraid of the future. Jaehyun nodded happily and continued to stroke your belly. You stay like that for a while as his hand went further down. His fingers brushed under your panties and it almost took your breath away. "Ohhh... ah," you moan and he started to grin. "Quiet, your sister and the kids are upstairs," whispered but begins to massage your clit. You press your lips together and close your eyes. You dig your fingers into his sweatpants and your husband got faster and faster with his fingers. His breathing became loud too and he began to massage your breasts with his other hand. "Is that good?" He whispered and actually he knew the answer, because after so many years he knew your body very well. "Yes, very good," you moan softly and your body began to tremble because you were about to climax. And then he increased the pressure and you couldn't help yourself. Your thighs were shaking and your fingers were gripping his pants tightly. You bite your lower lip and just enjoy the good feeling. With the stress of Jaehyun's work, you haven't had much sex lately. He had more problems with the erection from the pressure. He just couldn't switch off and had 1000 thoughts in his head. So it was something new to feel an orgasm again for a long time. "How are you feeling?" He asked and smiled. "Very good." You grin and turn more to him. You stroke his pants, but he twitched.  "I have to get ready now," he said immediately and sat up. You just wanted to do him something good, but he was ashamed. He hardly got hard anymore. You haven't had sex in a long time. It was clearly the stress because he had never had such problems before. Especially since it became clear that you were pregnant again. Jaehyun was indeed very happy, even more so than you were, but it should also be a burden for him. You're not blaming him, but he was very sensitive on the subject. Even if he has already been able to show his manhood several times, after all, he had often enough impregnated you. But there was so much more to it than that. Jaehyun got up and you look after him sadly. You didn't like it all at all. As much as you love that baby in your womb, it has brought a lot of stress and worry to this family right now.

"Daddy is leaving now," said Jaehyun after he was ready to go for the boys and hugged Sunoh. "No Daddy. Please stay." Miga ran to him and she started crying. Jaehyun, who was actually looking forward to meeting his friends, suddenly felt guilty. You see that and you immediately sit down with your daughter. You knew he needed this. He put too much pressure on himself to be a good father. A little distraction would only be good for him. "You have to go to bed anyway and when you wake up Daddy will be back." You brush her hair aside and smile. Miga nodded and leaned against your shoulder. Since she knew you were pregnant again, she has become very cuddly. "Okay, I'm going now." Jaehyun sighed and kissed Sunoh, then Miga and finally you. "Have fun ... really." You look at him seriously and Jaehyun nodded. Then he went down the stairs and packed his things. It was so difficult for him to leave, but he was still looking forward to the evening and his friends. He hasn't seen the boys in a long time and he agreed with you, he needed to see some friends. But then he thought of his daughter's tears again and his pulse rose.

When Jaehyun got out of the taxi and stood in front of the bar, he took a deep breath. He still didn't know what to think, that's why he called you. "Jaehyun? Are you okay?" You were concerned at first, of course. "I can still go home." "Jaehyun ...." "I have to go back to work on Monday and ..." "The children are already sleeping and I'm already in bed because the little thing in my belly makes me tired too. You don't miss a thing." "Really?" "Yeah, really. Don’t worry and hang out with your friends. And tomorrow we’ll have a family day. Okay?" "Okay..." "Well then..." "Y/N ... I love you so much." "I love you too and now go and have fun." Jaehyun after he hang up, he still looked at the screen and sees the photo of you and the children, which was his background photo. He smiled and missed you, but then he heard someone suddenly calling his name. "Yo Jaehyun!" He looked to the side and saw Yugyeom. He grinned and waved as he approached his friend. "Yugyeom!" Jaehyun tried to smile but was still a little bit sad. "Are you okay?" Yugyeom asked worriedly. "Yeah, I ... it's just all a lot right now." Jaehyun sighed and pulled his hands into his jacket pocket. Yugyeom nodded and took out a pack of cigarettes. "Do you like one too?" He asked him then. "I haven't smoked for a long time," said Jaehyun and refused. "I don’t smoke either, but it helps every now and then." He handed him the pack again and this time Jaehyun reached for a cigarette. He put it between his lips and Yugyeom lit him. Jaehyun immediately felt a little more relaxed when he blew out the first smoke. "It's unbelievable that you're here again," said Yugyeom and also lit a cigarette. "Yeah, it's been a long time." "How are you, Daddy?" Jaehyun was the first and so far the only one who was a father. "What can I say? I'm filming a drama and I have my kids at home." Jaehyun grinned and then took another drag on his cigarette. "Four kids, that's a lot of work, isn't it?" "Yes, but you have to ask my wife that, she is much more with them. I hardly see my children and her lately ..." Jaehyun sighed and looked at the floor, he took another drag on the cigarette and then made it out. Yugyeom also threw his cigarette on the floor and kicked it out. ”It’s though or?” "Yeah....Let's go in, the others are waiting," said Jaehyun and tried to push his guilty conscience aside.

"Okay, I should go slowly." Jaehyun drank the last sip of beer from his glass and tapped the table. The evening started well and it was nice to spend time with his friends, but he thought that maybe it would be better to go home now. "We only have the 2nd round. Come on, you can stay an hour longer," said Jungkook and grinned at his friend. "I have to look after the children in the morning." Jaehyun stroked his hair. "You said yourself that your wife is okay with today. So come on, let's celebrate a bit today." Bambam waved the waitress over so he could order another round. "I know, I know, but ..." Jaehyun leaned back and looked around. "But?", DK raised his eyebrow. Jaehyun waited a little longer because Bambam was just ordering from the waitress and flirting with her. Yugyeom gave him a little nudge with his elbow, as everyone knew (except Bambam) that Jaehyun was going to say something important. Bambam glanced around and noticed that everyone was looking at him. "What?" He asked, puzzled. But then The8 turned back to Jaehyun. "But what?" "Y/N is pregnant again." Jaehyun pressed his lips together and looked around. Mingyu looked at him with wide eyes. "Didn't you just have the twins?" "Yes..." "How old are they now?" DK asked surprised. "11 months..." "Well, you step on the gas fast," said Bambam ironically and grinned. "I think it's cute. Jaehyun has become such a real Daddy," said Jungkook with a laugh. "It wasn't planned. We didn't really want a child anymore" Jaehyun told the whole story and also that he still wants a girl at the end. "You won't get bored," said Yugyeom and laughed. Jaehyun shakes his head and saw the waitress come with the drinks. "But we haven't told a lot about it yet, so I would be glad if you didn't tell that around yet." Jaehyun looked seriously at his friends and they all nodded. Only Bambam turned back to the waitress. "I have a quiet schedule again, can I come over again? I haven't seen your children in a long time," said Jungkook and smiled. "Yes, you are always welcome. Miga and the boys would be happy." Jaehyun smiled and was pleased that his friends were taking it all so well. And at that moment he could finally switch off a bit and enjoy the evening with old friends.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

#jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #97 line #97 liners #bambam #dk #mingyu #yugyeom #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct 2020 #nct smut #nct fluff

[maximumjinx]

Steven Universe Gravity Falls AU

~Yknow what they say, if you run out of content, ya gotta make it yourself. This is a ? shot (I might continue or not who knows not me) please don’t ask for more I have 18 unfinished fanfics on this site.~

California was nice, Steven had to admit. The people were nice, the food was fantastic, and the weather was splendid. It reminded him a lot of Beach City. Though there were just so many people, and traveling north, Steven was beginning to long for something small and simple again.

Oregon was the perfect place for that, right?

“Ronaldo wants pictures of Bigfoot, and if anyone can find him, its you Steven.” Petey’s voice was faint on Steven’s phone speaker, tossed into the passenger seat as Steven blindly picked a highway exit.

“Sure Petey, but couldn’t Ronaldo just go to a circus?”

“Not big feet Steven,” Petey emphasized, “Bigfoot.”

“Saying it twice isn’t helping buddy.” Steven was half paying attention. He was focusing on the winding roads and the looming trees surrounding him. Deep, in the pit of Steven’s stomach, he felt something start to tug him toward one direction farther away from the highway. He wasn’t quite sure if it was a good or bad feeling yet.

“Forget it, I’m going to take a blurry photo of that mean Gem in the woods and say its Bigfoot.”

“Just don’t let Jasper catch you, she’s no joke when she’s angry.”

“I saw her ripping grass out of the ground I think I’ll be fine. Later dude.”

Steven heard a small click and smiled to himself. He’s happy to see how far the people of Beach City have come and how they’ve taken to the gems. He remembers when the Crystal Gems were once the outcasts of town that locals warned you to stay away from.

He looked up to see a welcome sign.

“Gravity falls. Well, that’s a funny name.”

—

Steven wanted small and simple but he feels he may have overshot it.

This small town had exactly three attractions. A town museum that mentioned marrying woodpeckers (Steven couldn’t figure out if that was a normal human thing, like taxes and velcro), a small diner, and as one local described it ‘some tourist trap’ deep in the woods. It was a sticky summer day and the former two attractions didn’t have airconditioning. Steven gambled on the last stop in hopes of stretching his legs and maybe finding a source to the strange feeling in his gut. It had become much stronger since he entered this small town. Alluring, but nothing related to Gems as far as Steven could tell.

He parked in the nearly empty lot and stepped out. Jacket wrapped loosely around his hips, Steven made his way inside.

A girl that looked about 13 was petting a pig on the front porch. She was incredibly reflective, and depsite the heat wore a knitted bedazzled sweater that made her glow like a disco ball in the sun.

She looked Steven up and down as he approached, a wide smile taking up her face and Steven saw bright braces with colored bands.

“Hi!” She launched upwards, startling the pig away, “I’m Mabel, but you can call me anytime.” The girl winked and stuck out her hand, palm facing the floor.

Steven blinked.

“Mabel, stop scaring away the customers!” A gruff voice yelled through the screen door, and soon an older man stepped out in a suit, wearing a fez and eyepatch.

Immediately the old man squinted at Steven, sizing him up.

Stanley Pines knew this teen wasn’t local, but he wasn’t sure if he had any money. For all he knew he was another boy trying to hit on his giftshop cashier, Wendy.

Oh well, a customer is a customer.

“Come in, come in, and see our mystical and magical wonders!”

“Magical?” This could be it, Steven could figure out why this town has felt off. Maybe it was gem related after all.

Quickly this older man who had introduced himself as Mr. Mystery gave Steven a tour of what looked like failed taxidermy projects. Now Steven may have a lived a sheltered childhood, but he felt pretty confident there was no such thing as a Sashcrotch. And so far, nothing had felt magical or mysterious.

“That concludes our tour! Here is our mistifying giftshop and it’s purchasable wonders!”

“Right...” Well, at the very least he was able to spend some time in airconditioning.

There was a girl behind the desk in plaid that looked about Steven’s age, and just a half inch shorter than him. She looked bored, flipping through a magazine as a young boy that looked a lot like Mabel made googly eyes as he swept by the door.

Steven guessed there was no harm in asking around.

“Hi, I’m Steven.” He smiled easily, walking up to the register.

“No refunds, even if an exhibit bit you.” She sighed, peeking up before turning back to her magazine.

“Oh no, nothing bit me, I just wanted to know something.”

She looked up to get a better look at Steven and gave a small smirk.

“Sure, but only because I like your shirt. Mr. Universe merch, now that’s a deep cut.”

Unbeknownst to Steven, Dipper Pines would had been watching the exchange felt a twinge of uneasiness as this out of towner talked with Wendy.

“Have you ever seen anything strange or weird actually happen in this town?”

Wendy’s smile dropped.

“Why do you ask?” Her eyes flickered to Dipper, just for a moment, and that was all he needed to rush over.

“Excuse me sir, please buy something or exit the store.” Dipper spoke in the deepest voice he could muster.

Steven looked over with a questioning expression.

“Oh sure uh-“ He blindly reached for the wad of bills that his dad had given to him before he left. Steven pulled out a hundred dollar bill and put it on the counter. Wendy looked up baffled as Steven stuffed the other cash back in his wallet.

“Boy was I wrong about you kid!” Mr. Mystery, seemingly materializing out of nowhere, now bounded over. He had loosened his tie and lost the eyepatch which turned out he never needed.

“Whaddya wanna know? I’ll tell you everything. There’s gnomes in the woods you know-“

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper protested loudly, dragging his Stan away and harshly whispering at him.

“Did you steal that money?” Wendy asked as Steven watched the pair whisper fight in the corner. He turned back to the girl and gave a sheepish smile.

“Uh no, my dad gave it to me before this roadtrip. He’s actually Mr. Universe.”

Wendy lit up.

“No freaking way! Your dad is Mr. Universe? I only got into him since he managed Sadie Killer and the Suspects and they always perform covers of his songs on tour, I can’t believe he’s your dad!” She rambled, stars in her eyes. Steven beamed, he loved when people praised his dad’s music. Greg really deserved it.

Steven learned Wendy’s name and they swapped stories back and forth, only interrupted as the girl from outside slowly rose from the behind the counter beaming.

“A cute musician that loves weird stuff, take me now.” She swooned. Steven blushed profusely, not used to the attention.

“Sorry, my girlfriend Connie probably wouldn’t like that very much.” He said gently. Mabel looked him up and down and pouted.

“I can wait, but not forever.” She warned, and winked, bounding to break apart her grunkle and Dipper, who are now whisper screaming with arms flailing.

“I wasn’t going to mention that Dorito shaped jerk! Just the normal stuff!”

“It’s dangerous! He could be a spy, or government, or another stack of gnomes!”

Steven raised an eyebrow and looked at Wendy. She chuckled and shrugged. Steven carefully approached them.

“He can hear everything you’re saying anyways so might as well tell him!” Mabel interrupted, nodding towards Steven as he came up.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m definitely not government.” Steven technically didn’t exist at all. He never had a social security card and didn’t have a birth certificate.

Dipper only glared. Rich strangers with an interest in the paranormal didn’t come through gravity falls without some kind of agenda.

Steven hated the conflict he was starting. No information was worth this family fighting.

“Okay,” he surrendered, hands up, “I’ll just go. I’ll stick around town until tomorrow if you change your minds”

“Wait Steven-”

“Let him go Wendy,” Dipper glared as the boy in pink walked out, “We can’t trust him.”

“But I was going to ask for Sadie tickets...” Wendy groaned, defeated.

“There’s something weird about him.”

“Great!” Mabel beamed, “He’ll fit right in.”

~.~

Steven wasn’t crazy about sleeping in his car, but was seriously considering it after seeing the state of his motel room. It looked like it hadn’t been used in decades, a thin line of dust covering every surface. He was also pretty sure they didn’t even have free ice. 

“Wish Pearl were here..” He mumbled, exhausted. He curled up on top of the covers, fully clothed, and let sleep take him.

Being Steven Universe however, meant rest was sure to allude the half alien. 

Steven found himself in a dark space, fog all around him. Before a word could come out of his mouth he heard a fast, repetitive muttering. 

“Stranger...Wendy looked pretty today..Can’t trust...Tell no one...Ford isn’t here..”

“What, the-” Steven quietly walked toward the source of dialogue, and saw the faded silhouette of the boy from the Mystery Shack. His back was turned to him, but Steven recognized the blue vest and mosquito bitten legs. 

“I thought I was over the dream hopping.” Steven spoke a tad too loudly, starting the young boy - Dipper.

“What-” Dipper’s eyes grew wide in panic, and the boy fell back harshly.

“No, no, you can’t be in my head!” 

“Wait, I’m not-” Steven tried to reassure him, stepping carefully towards the boy but Dipper let out a screech of terror, sweat gathering around his temples.

“Bill sent you didn’t he?! He’s not really gone- he’s going to hurt Mable again-” Dipper began to hyperventilate. 

“Dipper please,” Steven took a step back, arms in the air in surrender. 

“I-”

“I’m not going to hurt you I swear on the gems.” He placed a hand over his heart. “This is a total invasion of privacy but it’s something that happens when someone’s emotions are out of control-”

“How are you here?” Dipper demanded, scrambling to his feet. “Tell me what you are and what you want.”

“I’m just passing through!” Steven insisted, then lowered his tone to calm the younger boy. “I’m kinda of magnet for weird stuff. I just wanted to help in case anything was going on.”

“We deal with things just fine around here.” Dipper spat, then watched as Steven deflated. He seemed tired, like he hasn't slept well in a while. 

“So what are you anyways? How can you be here?”

Steven winced, and laughed nervously. “It’s kind of a long story..”

Dipper raised and eyebrow and swept his arm around the void dramatically. 

“You have until dawn.”

~

“I thought that was a conspiracy theory, it wasn’t even covered by major news outlets.” Dipper look exhausted, cross legged on the unseen floor as he ran his hands through his hair. 

“I think Garnet is pretty persuasive when it comes to government and reporters. They all kinda fall in love with her.”

“She’s the one that’s really two aliens?” 

Steven shook his head with a small smile. “It’s hard to explain but yes, I guess that comes close.”

“That’s actually insane. I’m insane, aren’t I?” Dipper stood up, leaving Steven on sitting next to an empty space. “It’s been too quiet around here and now I’m so desperate for weird, that I’m making it all up in my head.”

“I get that feeling.” Steven smiled without humor, “but no, this is real. I’ll prove it when you wake up.” Steven felt a shift, the fog in the void getting denser. 

“Sooner than I thought, you’re an early riser huh?”

Dipper looked back at Steven, panicked. “You’ll come to the Shack again right? In just a bit?”

Steven smiled. “Promise.”

~

Dipper woke up to his sister braiding his hair. Mabel still had her pjs on, and a make up kit next to the bed. Dipper frowned, tasting strawberry shortcake. 

“Stop testing party looks on me, Mabel.”

“Stop having my face structure and maybe I will.” She grinned, covered in blue glitter. 

Dipper quickly washed up and got dressed for the day, feeling like he was anxiously waiting for something but not quite remembering what. 

He felt like he had a strange dream last night...

He quickly remembered, choking on cereal as Steven walked into the shack right as it opened. Hair slightly frizzy from the heat and eyes strangely tired. Maybe dream hopping took energy that he anticipated. 

“Steven!”

“Meal ticket!” 

“Grunkle Stan.” Mabel chastised as Dipper rushed over to the older boy. 

“Good morning everyone.” 

Dipper stopped short, slightly hoping that everything he experienced wasn’t just his imagination. That everything exciting and weird and interesting wasn’t always trying to kill him, ruin his life, or steal his candy. 

Steven looked tired, like he had been doing this much longer than Dipper, but he had still come out with enough energy to smile. 

“Not insane?” Dipper asked hopefully, quietly. Steven snapped his attention from his Grunkle and Mable bickering down to the Dipper. He gave a reassuring smile, eyes quite serious. 

“Not insane.”

#I feel like I made up a strange tension but please don't ship them THEYRE FOUND FAMILY #Steven universe #gravity falls #universe falls #??? #what's the tag? #dipper pines #Mabel pines #grunkle stan #stan pines #bill cipher #this is something or maybe nothing idk people need to give me plot ideas #probably no plot just one shot series

[blu-joons]

You’re German ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

The smell that greeted you as you walked into the apartment, was one you recognised all too well. “What are you cooking?” You asked Jin, following the scent into the kitchen.

“What do you think I’m cooking?” He challenged, hiding his recipe.

You took a few moments to pick up on the scent again. “It smells like sauerbraten but there’s no way you’d cook that in Korea.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he smiled, stepping aside.

“Have you really?” You laughed, looking across his ingredients, recognising every single one of them.

“Am I doing a good job?”

You looked around, nodding your head immediately. “I can’t believe you decided to make it, it smells just like home too.”

“You’ve got to taste it yet,” he reminded you.

“I’m sure it’ll taste delicious,” you assured him, “if it tastes as good as it’s looking, you might have to make it a little more often.”

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.”

“I wouldn’t mind either.”

Yoongi:

He quickly scrambled to hide the book that he was reading as the front door opened and then slammed shut. “Hey!” He yelled, placing a cushion over his lap.

“Hi?” You questioned, sensing very quickly that something was a little off with him.

He pulled you down to sit on the sofa, trying hard to play it cool. “How’s your day been? Did you get up to anything at work?”

“I’ll tell you when you tell me what’s going on,” you smiled.

His brows knitted together, “what are you on about? There’s nothing going on here.”

“Then what are you hiding? I can tell you are.”

He sighed, lifting the cushion to reveal the German book he was studying. “I was trying to learn a bit more about your home when you weren’t around.”

“Why would you hide it? I think it’s adorable,” you smiled.

“I wanted to be able to surprise you one day with my knowledge,” he groaned, “but now you know exactly what I’m doing.”

“I promise I’ll still act surprised when you tell me.”

“You’re cute jagi, honestly.”

Hoseok:

As soon as the plane landed with a thud, you felt your heart skip a beat. “I’m so excited,” you whispered, holding tightly onto Hobi’s hand.

“Me too,” he laughed, “but not as excited as you are.”

You peered out of the window, recognising the airport. “It’s been so long since I came home, it feels a bit like a dream.”

“I’m excited to meet all your family,” he replied.

“They’ve been asking for you to come for so long,” you chuckled, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“It’s just been so busy recently.”

You nodded, slipping your hand out of his so he could unbuckle himself too. “They understand you’re a global superstar.”

“I’m not,” he protested, but your head shook.

“Prepare to be quizzed like never before about work and the band,” you pre warned him, “they’ll want to know everything about you.”

“Surely not everything about me?”

“I’m serious, everything.”

Namjoon:

You reached out to take the glass that Namjoon held out for you, bringing it under your nose to smell. “See if you can figure out what is so special about this beer.”

“Is it not just beer?” You asked, watching as his head shook in response.

You smelt it once again, before taking a first sip. “I bought it especially for you, there’s a connection if you think hard enough.”

“If there’s a connection, is it German?” You queried.

“Spot on! I found a place that was selling the beer I remembered you said you liked from home.”

“You really did that for me?”

He nodded, taking a sip of his own. “I liked it too, but I thought it would be nice for you to have a bit of home with us.”

“It really does taste like home,” you smiled.

“Maybe next time I’ll take you to have a look around with me, I’m sure there’s plenty that you would like,” he suggested.

“That sounds like a great idea.”

“Then it’s settled!”

Jimin:

His smile grew as your eyes lit up as your family appeared on the screen. “Hallo,” you blushed, waving frantically to each one of them on the screen.

“How are you?” Jimin added from beside you, leaning further into the shot.

Each of them nodded, excited to see Jimin alongside you. “Gut,” your mother responded, as Jimin’s head nodded, understanding her.

“How are you Jimin?” Your father added, smiling proudly.

“Gut,” he chuckled, impressing them by what little German he was learning.

“You’ve taught him well Y/N,” your mother laughed, applauding Jimin’s efforts.

Your head nodded, glancing across at Jimin to let him know he’d done good. “He’s picking up a few phrases now, he’ll be fluent in no time.”

“I’m a long way off being fluent,” he argued.

“I’m sure with Y/N’s help you’ll pick up plenty of the language,” your mother replied, “she’s an excellent teacher.”

“She certainly makes me work hard.”

“That’s my girl.”

Taehyung:

You glanced back yet again as you noticed Taehyung was still down the path snapping photos of the castle. “I’m coming, don’t worry!” He yelled, sprinting along to catch up with you.

“It’s like you’ve never seen a castle before,” you commented.

His shoulders shrugged, “I’ve seen a few, but it’s not really something we have in Korea. Your castles are so photogenic.”

“There’s plenty around for you to see,” you informed him.

“Seriously?” He quizzed, failing to hide his excitement. “I might have to buy a new memory card for all of the photos I’m taking.”

“How do you find so many angles to take?”

He glanced through his camera, flicking through some of the photos. “I just want to get the perfect shot; I’ll delete most of these later.”

“It’ll take all day to work around here with you and your camera.”

“When we look back on these memories one day, you’ll be glad I’ve got my camera with me,” he joked, “you’ll be thanking me.”

“I’ll be thanking you when I’m out of the cold soon.”

“I’ll be quick, promise.”

Jungkook:

His eyes struggled to take in everything around him as you walked through the park that was Oktoberfest. “This place is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“I thought you’d enjoy it,” you smiled, taking a hold of his hand.

His head nodded, feeling his breath taken. “I thought we had some wild events in Korea, but this just feels like something else.”

“It’s a huge occasion,” you informed him.

“I just want to get involved, drink a lot, and enjoy my first time at Oktoberfest,” he grinned.

“I know all the best places to go.”

“You’re my tour guide for the day,” he teased, squeezing at your hand. “I’m trusting you to give me the best experience here.”

“I’ve got plenty of ideas for things to do,” you told him.

He smiled, pressing a kiss against the top of your head. “Where shall we go first? You lead the way, and I’ll follow behind.”

“How does a beer sound first?”

“Sounds perfect.”

---

Masterlist

#bts #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts reaction #bts scenarios #bts reactions #jin imagine #yoongi imagine #hoseok imagine #namjoon imagine #jimin imagine #taehyung imagine #jungkook imagine #jin #yoongi #hoseok #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts drabble #bts one shot #bts fluff #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #kpop #kpop imagine

[whatdamiwatched]

Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.  

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings  and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

#sharpwin #new amsterdam