#never let either of them near a child Again </33

[ghostdrinkssoup]

hannibal and will are like those young parents who think having a baby together is free therapy and will solve all their problems except they’re middle aged and the baby is the teen girl they willingly orphaned, one because he lost control and got caught up in his own wrath and love for righteous violence and the other because he thought it would be a little bit funny

#and the worst dads of the year award goes to— #they’re the only ones who can stand each other #so caught up in their drama and theatrics and setting the room on fire #just to spite the other but also because it’s a metaphor for passion or something idk #never let either of them near a child Again </33 #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost speaks

[deathbxnny]

YQ's Mother Requestor Anon here! May I request Yanqing and Jing Yuan reacting to Mother!Reader being pregnant or adopting another kid?

Also you may or may not have left out a few fics...

-----♡

A/N: Hey there! Thank you for the once again great request! Also I'm not exactly sure what you mean by the last sentence, so could you please clarify? Thank you!<33

Content: This lowkey turned into a crackfic, unserious, Yanqing being done with everything, Jing Yuan being a menace, mentions of pregnancy, fluff, Yanqing attempting to throw himself off a bridge?, sfw

Reader is afab here and reffered to as Yanqing's mother!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

Jing Yuan was unbelievably happy to hear that you were pregnant with his child. It was like a dream come true and he was so excited to have a new addition in the family soon. He spoiled you with gifts and affection, before practically announcing it proudly to everyone that could listen. Soon enough all generals and important people of the Xianzhou alliance were informed and happy to hear the good news.

But that left you with only Yanqing to tell, who until then, was blissfully unaware of the approaching doom that was Jing Yuan, who had agreed to tell him about the news himself. You were too worried of what his reaction would be, as you didn't want him to think that you were replacing him. And so, your dear, perfect husband took it upon himself to tell him, since no one could do it better than him, the man who raised Yanqing since he was a boy.

Now, if you weren't so happy and swooning over your husband's act of bravery, you would've maybe noticed the evil grin on his lips, as he went on his way to tell the poor unsuspecting boy the great news. Finding Yanqing was relatively easy, as he was calmly resting at a bridge near the training grounds, after a long day of refining his skills.

He greeted Jing Yuan like he usually did, but stopped himself, when he saw that grin. He immideatly knew that whatever came next would be life altering. And so, he slowly turned his head to stare off into the distance, whilst his mentor made himself comfortable next to him. It took Jing Yuan a moment to get to the point, but when he did, the silence that followed was absolutely deafening.

The older man turned his head to the boy, just to receive the biggest side eye in all of history. To say that Yanqing was not amused, would be an understatement. Sure, he was extremely happy and excited to finally have a sibling... but he knew that he'd never find peace again with the older man now. And he certainly didn't want to admit to defeat either.

Yanqing asked him if he was serious and when Jing Yuan confirmed it, the boy simply hummed and took off his swords, before neatly placing them against the bridge. And then, he unceremoniously swung his leg over the railing and attempted to just jump off the bridge out of spite.

First he took away his mother, then his allowance and now he dared to be smug? Yeah, Yanqing will see to it, that he stops playing with him like that. Jing Yuan let out a yell of surprise, as he grabbed onto the boy's collar and stopped him, as he flailed around and tried to escape.

Meanwhile, you happily clasped your hands together and smiled in awe at the sight of them "bonding" over the great news from where you were hiding. It seems like Yanqing can't wait to be a big brother to his new sibling!

-----♡

A/N: Alright, I hope you don't mind this being very unserious. I just needed a break from the angst, that is going to fill up my inbox soon. Thank you again for the request!<33

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x reader #hsr jing yuan #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr yanqing #hsr yanqing x reader #hsr

[darkbluekies]

I loved your family life with the yanderes!

I was wondering if you'd be open to doing more of their reactions ,especially to the readers pregnancy/ birth? I personally love kids and want some of my own one day ( looking forward to twins!) And I would really love to see how they react.

Silas would be stoked, partially because now you seriously can't escape and he gets the life he always daydreamed about! Freaks the hell out when reader goes into labor, like sweating pacing, almost punching the doctor for doing their job. He definitely books a private room and has security everywhere but it's all worth it for you and your baby. He's never gonna let anything happen to either of you

Dr.kry would definitely become even more of a control freak and monitor everything. Imagine reader gets pregnant while still in the hospital. Joy turns to panic, if this gets out people will know what's going on between you two! He takes you home and has you on a strict schedule. He has access to everything you could ever need and definitely plans a home birth. He's so happy seeing his darling with his child. Finally the family he's been waiting for.

Edmund would be happy in a "one more thing off the checklist" kinda way. He'd be happy if his darling was happy but other than that not super emotional about the whole ordeal. He doesn't get emotional till the birth and then? It's pure protective anger and rage! The second he hears any sounds of pain he is fighting his way into that room and screaming at the maids to take away the pain. Slightly resents the child for causing you so much pain, but once he sees the love in your eyes he can't stay mad. ( He can but chooses not to for your sake)

Jerry's just glad it's not her going through the whole ordeal. She sees the upsides but also the downsides. upside? You're trapped, and you won't be lonely while she's working! Downside? Your attention is split now. Plus now you're emotional and defiant and she can't really punish you for it. She's pretty disconnected when the birth comes around. She doesn't really care, but also doesn't like seeing you in pain. " You wanted this, it's all part of the package ain't it?". She's not as attached to the baby but sees it as an extension of you so it's cool in her eyes.

To Hedwig this is the best time of her life! She is so excited to have a baby with you! She loves every second, and probably cried more than you do. She's taking full care of you and keeps the environment controlled and safe. She has private security surrounding the house and hospital. Near constant checkups and shopping sprees. Has changed the colors of the nursery three times and it still doesn't feel right to her. You never have a second alone and she is constantly touching and talking to the baby. You're pretty much on bed rest the second you find out but the birth is mostly up to you, as long as she gets to be there she doesn't mind! Once the baby is here she never leaves them alone but that means some alone time for you to rest and recover.

I'm sorry this is so long, its been rotting in my brain ever since I first read family life with the oc's!!

I've had the mental picture of when you first bring the baby/babies home the yanderes go to sleep and wake up with their darling out of bed! They immediately run around searching for you, but then they remember " oh fuck the baby!" They rush into the nursery to find their darling asleep on the floor beside the crib, their hand slotted between the bars holding onto their babies hand. Their heart warms but also it still scared them thinking about how you could've left and took their whole family with you. Their entire purpose for living gone. Sorry again!! I hope you don't feel too overwhelmed and are taking care of yourself, creative minds need rest and care!! Be safe blue! 🩵💙

i loved this so much :(((<33 i love seeing how people think about my characters. I really think you captured them well!!

i really understand that you want twins :)<3 i really want twins too. I wish I had a twin, but it's a bit too late for that, so having twins would be very sweet too. I love the feeling of knowing that my child has a best friend in all circumstances. I myself is the youngest of five children (where the others are all boys) and much older than me. I'd love to have someone like that <3

I think that all of them would become more and more protective whether they want to admit it or not (cough jerry cough) and would be even more suffocating ... escpecially if they can't find you right away >:)

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 47) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44  Part 45 Part 46

Logan and Virgil had gotten into the habit of having reading lessons in the afternoons 3 times a week. They would sit in the small library near the royal wing for an hour or two and do different things related to increasing Virgil’s literacy.

Logan had started with just teaching him letters, but he’d memorized those long ago at this point. Now, Logan would spend most of the time having him read simpler books out loud and correcting any mistakes he made along the way. Improvement was surprisingly fast, though in truth, Logan hadn’t had any measure for how long it would take a teenager to learn to read and Virgil was quite dedicated.

Usually, their lessons ended with Logan reading a more complicated book while letting him follow along. The last week, they had been reading the library book Virgil had chosen for himself, Into the Mist. It was an interesting book to read to Virgil, though Logan was unsure if it would be as interesting if he were to read it on his own. In truth, it was a good, but rather ordinary fantasy book. Virgil, however, seemed incredibly fascinated by it. He had never heard a high fantasy story before in his life and he was constantly comparing and contrasting things in the book to things he understood in real life as well as asking Logan about them.

It also became clear that Virgil did not quite understand real life fully. He attributed the same amount of awe to hearing the ocean being described as he did to the main character’s climb up the sky to a cloud city in hopes of saving his love interest’s life. In fact, he seemed more in awe of Logan’s explanation of the ocean since it actually existed.

Logan had a sudden intense urge to plan a trip to see an ocean at some point in the future. Lamir was a costal country and its castle sat on top of a cliff that overlooked the sea. It would be easy enough to take a trip to their ally’s country at some point.

“So, cloud mites don’t exist?” Virgil confirmed yet again.

“No,” Logan said. “They don’t. In fact, their existence would go against all magical laws since they are sentient without being alive.”

“But crabs do?” Virgil asked.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Crabs do not go against the natural order of things,” Logan said.

“But why?” Virgil asked.

“I… don’t understand the question.”

“They don’t have the right number of legs.”

“W-what do you mean by that?” Logan asked, confused.

“Animals can only have an even number of legs on either side.”

“No,” Logan said. Virgil nodded vigorously. “What about beetles? Those have 6 legs. Three on each side.”

“But beetles are bug,” Virgil pointed out.

“Bugs are animals,” Logan argued.

“No, they’re not.”

His face was so serious, and he was so sure, that it was funny. “Bugs are animals,” Logan said.

Virgil seemed confused by this. “But they have 6 legs.”

Logan couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Virgil, what do you think and animal is?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Virgil said, pouting slightly at being laughed at. Logan leaned over to bump their shoulder together which seemed to pacify him. “Cows. Birds. Frogs.”

“I think we need to get you a tutor. You are missing some fundamental building blocks in your education.”

He huffed, peering at the book.

“It’s no fault of your own,” Logan assured. “You are not born with information like that. People were just negligent in teaching you these things.”

Virgil nodded. “That actually reminds me of something.”

“Mmm?” Logan asked.

“There’s something I need to teach you.”

“And what would that be?” Logan asked.

“Survival instincts.”

“What?”

Virgil slammed his hand down on Logan’s desk. “You have no survival instincts,” he declared. “I bet you don’t even know what hemlock tastes like.”

“Isn’t that poisonous.”

“Yes,” Virgil said.

“Then of course I don’t know what it tastes like.”

“Exactly! That’s the problem.”

“I don’t need to know what poison tastes like, Virgil,” Logan said.

“Yes, you do,” Virgil argued. “It’s an important skill.”

“I think your view of what constitutes as an ‘important skill’ may be skewed,” Logan said.

“You’re a prince,” Virgil said. “Knowing about poisons is an important skill for you.”

“It’s really not though.”

“You’re at war,” Virgil reminded, “and they already tried to assassinate your father. Do you think they’re not going to send someone else when your father is alive at winter’s end, and they’ve heard no word from their assassin? Do you think if they realize you’re not easily manipulatable, they won’t come for you too?”

“Well, I mean…” Logan said. “You do have a point there.”

“And you need to learn how to climb things and catch things.”

“Why do I need to know how to catch things?”

“We’ve already had this discussion,” Virgil said. “In case someone throws a knife at you.”

Wait. When had they had that conversation?

“And while we’re on the topic of knives, you need to know how to use a knife effectively.”

“I know how to use a knife,” Logan claimed even though he knew he didn’t know how to use a knife in the way Virgil was talking about.

Virgil, despite having no concept of taxonomic classification, was no fool. “Chopping things for potions doesn’t count,” Virgil said. “I’m talking stabbing lessons. For you and Patton, though to be honest, Patton has an advantage already over you when it comes to using weapons.”

“Why does he…” Logan thought. “Because he managed to get a hit on you with a cookie sheet one time?”

“His reflexes are better,” Virgil said, “as well as his ability to use his environment to his advantage. You’re always completely oblivious about what’s going on around you.”

“Excuse me. I am incredibly observant,” said Logan.

“How many chairs are in the dinning room we walked through to get here two hours ago?” Virgil asked.

Logan thought for a moment. “I’m not sure.”

“Exactly! You walk by them every day and you don’t even know how many chairs there are in that room.”

“I have no idea what that has to do with anything.”

“How would you know if someone tampered with the chairs if you don’t know how many of them there are or their positions.”

“Tampered with the chairs?” Logan asked. “What are you talking about? I filter out unnecessary information. That doesn’t mean I’m unobservant.”

“Yes, it does,” Virgil said. “Plus, half the time you don’t even know where I am when you know I’m in the same room as you,” Virgil said.

“Well, that’s because you climb on top of things and hide in walls!” Logan said. “That’s hardly fair.”

“You mean I’m quiet and good at hiding like… an assassin might be.”

Logan pursed his lips. Virgil tilted his head and smiled at him. “I am plenty observant,” Logan insisted once again.

“Prove it,” Virgil said.

“And how should I do that?” Logan asked. “Beyond simply memorizing the furniture arrangements?”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll get an opportunity soon.”

Logan wished he would have been observant enough in that moment to notice the determined spark in his eyes.

Want to read more? Click below!

Birds of Different Feathers Master Post

My Masterpost

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #character thomas sanders #adriana writes #little kestrel #birds of different feathers #implied/referenced child abuse #assassination attempt #past torture #captivity

[artemis32]

Uff I loved the fic where Gojo has a child but what if the reader suddenly have a crush on yuji and Gojo noticed it? (Sorry my English is not good)

Platonic Yandere Gojo Satoru II

Hi :)) your English is fine, don't worry about it <33

Again, I apologise for taking so long with this. And again, I hope this is something along the lines of what you wanted.

****

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

Part I

****

****

Gojo Satoru was not a stupid man.

He acted childish and silly, but at the end of the day, he was smarter than he often let on.

That being said, he knew his daughter, better than anyone. He knew when you were hungry, when you were sick, when you were happy, when you were lying, when you wanted to cry, when you were tired. He knew your likes and dislikes, your habits, all your mannerisms.

He knew everything about you.

Of course he did. You were his greatest treasure, he had to know everything about you to keep you safe.

Gojo Satoru knew everything about his daughter.

Except he had no idea what's been happening to you lately.

You had been acting strangely for a while, and at first he'd tried to give you your space, but he was reaching his limit. He needed to know what was going on, and he'd find out no matter what. Your wellbeing was on the line and he wasn't willing to risk that. 

So he set about investigating. He wasted no time, trying to get to the bottom of everything as quickly as possible.

He made up some excuse, saying that he'd be away on a mission for a few days, a week at most. He acted as he usually did, making a big fuss about leaving his angel behind, going on and on about how much he'd miss you.

Once he had "left for his mission", he quickly made his way to your room at Jujutsu Tech. One thing he prided himself on was his ability to give you the privacy you wanted. It took all his self control to keep from smothering you, and at times he wished that you would never leave his side. But he was rational enough to realise that he needed to give you space.

It was better than the alternative. He knew that you'd be quick to leave if he tried to control you, or keep you close.

That was one of the reasons he rarely entered your room.

Now however, he decided to do what he thought would be best for you. Truly, you couldn’t blame him - he was just a concerned father, eager to help his beloved daughter.

He spends close to an hour carefully combing through your belongings, looking for something, anything that seems out of place. He’s near his wits end, no closer to finding an answer now than he was a week ago.

Just as he’d about to call it a day and start searching elsewhere, he sees it. It’s no surprise he missed it before, not with it being so well hidden. He moves the coat rack near your door, careful to keep everything in it’s place.

And then he sees it. On the wall beside your door is a collage of sorts - a large collection of photos. They seem to be photos of you and your friends at Jujutsu Tech. He spies a few that include himself, but for the most part, they’re photos of seemingly everyday outings.

There are a few photos where you’re smiling widely at the camera - Maki and Nobara at your side. A girls day or something.

Then there’s a photo of you surrounded by the third years, Inumaki and Maki on either side of you, while Panda smothers you in a hug from the back. You’ve got a slight scowl on your face, but your eyes are bright and happy.

There are many many photos of you with Megumi. Some of them include Tsumiki, but most of them are just the two of you. Some of them include you laughing at his clearly annoyed or embarrassed face, some of them are the both of you smiling and laughing. There are one or two where you look so genuinely happy, so content that he almost tears up a bit. Those are mostly from when you were a bit younger. There’s one where Megumi looks happy too, with a soft look in his eyes as he smiles slightly for the camera. 

He spots a few photos of you with all the first years, but his attention is quickly grabbed by a picture hidden near the corner, almost completely out of sight. 

It’s quickly torn off the wall as he grabs it, hands shaking. It’s a picture of you and Itadori, both smiling widely at the camera. 

It seems innocent enough. Or it was innocent enough. At least until he spots a small red heart on the very edge of the picture. He feels a lump in his throat as he turns the picture around, staring at the back in disbelief. 

The edges on the back of the photograph are lined with pale red hearts, and in the centre, written in your neat scrawl, is the date and and your thoughts of the photo.

That in itself wasn't unusual. It was a strange habit you'd picked up over the years - one that he found absolutely adorable.

On the back of every photograph you had, you'd write the date and any happy thoughts you'd had that day - what you'd done that day, a joke you'd heard, a food that you had particularly enjoyed, sometimes about the day you'd spent with him or Megumi. You did it so that if you were ever having a bad day, you could look back and remember all the happy times you'd had.

He himself had done the same on the back of every photograph he had of you. He had photos from the day you were born, up until the day before when he'd taken you out on a spontaneous lunch date in Tokyo as a surprise.

This photo was a bit different, and he struggled to contain his rage as he read what you had written.

Itadori is so handsome when he smiles. When he smiles at me, it gives me butterflies. Today he told me that I look beautiful when I smile.

At the end of your note, you had drawn a small smiley face.

Gojo shakes with his barely controlled anger. How dare he? How could you give your affection so freely to anyone other than your father? 

He's not angry with you.

No, he could never be upset with you. His anger is directed towards Itadori. Not only has he been stealing your attention, he also didn't compliment you properly. You look beautiful all the time, not just when you smile - something he's sure to tell you at least four times a day.

He takes a deep breath, calming himself. He makes a decision, placing the offensive photograph back where it belonged, moving the coat rack back in its place and leaving your bedroom.

It’s time to put his plan into motion - time for him to get his daughter back.

****

"My beautiful daughter, I have arrived!"

Gojo Satoru enters the room with an ecstatic yell, eager as ever. A bag of sweets and pastries hang from his arm as he swaggers into the room, the opposite arm raised as he waves in greeting.

All heads turn to watch him enter, but he's focused only only two people.

You.

And Itadori Yuuji.

He walks over to where you sit, surrounded my your fellow first years, Nobara on your right with a laptop on her lap that the two of you seem to be pouring over.

You greet your father, asking him about his mission as he approaches. He waves his hand around as he gives you a vague answer, more focused on dropping the bag of treats onto your lap.

He pats your head affectionately when you thank him, turning to address the group of first years.

"I've decided that it's time for a team building exercise! Isn't that exciting?"

Evidently, none of you think so, if the unimpressed look on your faces is anything to go by.

Itadori is the only one that seems remotely happy, immediately beginning to question where they'll be going.

Gojo's smile nearly falters as he feels his lip twitch.

He clears his throat before mentioning some far off forest. He turns towards the door, speaking over his shoulder.

"We're leaving in three hours - better start packing."

Immediately Nobara starts grumbling about how little notice you've all been given, and she stands abruptly before making her way to her room to pack.

You and the remaining two stand and prepare to depart as well, but you’re stopped when your father calls out to you, asking you to stay behind.

Coming to a halt before him, you look up at him expectantly, waiting for hi to say something. 

“Yes dad?”

His heart swells. Dad. It always makes him inexplicably happy when he hears you address him as dad.

“Listen sweetheart. This forest - the place we’re going - it’s full of curses. That's partly why we're going there. If you don't feel comfortable with that, just let me know and you don't have to go."

A large part of him mentally begs you to agree. He desperately needs you to say that you'd rather remain here, safe. But that's nothing more than wishful thinking, he knows that better than anyone. So he's more than prepared when you answer him.

"Dad, I want to become a jujutsu sorcerer. Fighting curses is kind of part of the job description. I'll be fine, don't worry about me. And besides, Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara will be there too."

I know, he wants to say. That's the problem.

You smile innocently at him before telling him that you need to start packing and running off towards your dorm room, a light prance in your step.

Clearly you're happier than you'd let on earlier. You must really be looking forward to this "team building exercise".

A part of him feels bad about what he plans to do. You'll be very upset, he already prepared himself for how devestated you'd be when you discovered that Itadori Yuuji was dead.

Then again, he was doing this for you. He had your best interest at heart, and he hoped that things would eventually go back to how they used to be, before you developed a crush on the poor boy he was about to dispose of.

****

Well fuck.

This was not at all what Gojo Satoru had planned.

Things had been going smoothly, perfectly according to plan.

You'd all arrived at the dense line of trees marking the beginning of the forest, and he'd told everyone the "agenda" for the following few days.

Of course, he didn't plan any further than today, seeing as losing an oh so valuable student was reason enough to abruptly end a school camp.

But of course things rarely ever went according to plan these days.

After Gojo had spilt the first years into two groups, he had sent them off, bidding you a tearful farewell, dramatically begging Megumi to take proper care of you.

Then he'd turned towards Itadori and Nobara, and cheerfully waved them off, wishing them luck before stepping back and disappearing from sight.

For a short while he had watched from above as you and Megumi strolled through the forest, joking around laughing as you searched for curses. Curses you would probably never find.

Like any good father would, he disposed of most of the higher level curses before you had arrived, and had scared away any remaining curses too.

When he was satisfied with your safety, he left to find Nobara and Itadori.

He found them quite quickly, they were deep in conversation and unaware of their surroundings. Gojo neared them, waiting patiently for his cue.

After nearly ten minutes of observing them from above, it happened.

Gojo had left one special grade curse wondering around in the Eastern part of the forest - the part Itadori and Nobara were assigned to.

He needed a distraction, something to split up the two students.

The curse ambled down the overgrown path, swaying slightly from side to side. It almost would have seemed peaceful, had its appearance not been grossly distorted.

It went still for a moment, tilting it's stout head to the side before suddenly sprinting towards the pair of unsuspecting students.

Itadori was knocked clean off his feet, and he flew several feet through the air before slamming into a tree, a loud crack resounding through the air.

Nobara rushed forward before Itadori stood on shaky legs, looking at her and telling her to "run and find Gojo-sensei!"

She argued for a moment before scoffing and running off towards where Gojo should have been waiting.

Gojo almost felt bad for what he'd done. Almost. But not quite.

He waited for a few more minutes, watching as Itadori clumsily dogged the wide swipes of the curse. Honestly, it was a miracle that he was still standing. He had definitely broken a few ribs when he'd hit the tree.

Just as the curse swung down, aiming for Itadori's exhausted figure, Gojo landed on the soft forest floor and exorcised the curse with one swift swipe.

"Ah. Gojo-sensei, thank goodness. You got here just in time. Two seconds later and I would have been a pancake."

Itadori laughs before wincing, grabbing at his side.

"I think I broke a rib or two. Or six."

He notices the dead silence, looking up at Gojo with a confused look in his eyes.

"Sensei? What's wrong?"

Gojo looks down at Itadori, pulling his blindfold down and squatting down beside him.

"Yuuji, I'm sorry about this, I really am, but I have to do what's best for my daughter. You've gotten in the way, so you have to go."

He reaches out and places his hand on Itadori's shoulder, looking him in the eye as he holds the opposite hand up. The hand on his shoulder shoots up to cover his mouth as Itadori tries to speak, to question him, to plead for his life, to scream for help.

Whichever it is, he doesn't care.

****

Gojo Satoru stands tall, facing Ryomen Sukuna with an irritated look on his face, eyebrows scrunched and mouth pulled taunt in a frown.

"I don't like the brat, but unfortunately, I can't let you kill him."

Gojo scoffs. "You and I both know that you can't beat me. You're still too weak. I'm going to kill you either way - you get to decide whether or not it's painless."

Sukuna grins widely, baring his teeth at Gojo’s words. As offended as he is, he knows it's the truth. He has no hope of beating the world's strongest sorcerer with the small amount of power he currently has.

His best bet is to get away. To escape. To get to you - the reason for this whole mess.

Surely your father wouldn't kill the brat in front of you?

Unfortunately, he's right.

The fight had destroyed half the forest, trees levelled, craters the size of a car littering the ground.

And it had led to the meeting point, where all the remaining first years had gathered. Megumi, Nobara, you.

What a mess.

Clearly his plan hadn't worked, and now he had an even bigger problem than before.

Sukuna had been thrown through the dirt and had landed at your feet. He stood and dusted himself off, offering you a shit-eating grin before glancing at Gojo over his shoulder.

He seemed to come to a conclusion before facing you again. For a moment, his body went rigid, then he slumped forward.

Evidently, Sukuna's plan had worked.

You caught Itadori's body before he hit the ground, gently shaking him, concern covering your features.

"Dad, what happened? Are you okay?"

Your concern warms his heart as he approaches you.

The lies taste sweet in his mouth as he starts talking.

"Itadori must have accidentally given up control for a moment - Sukuna was there when I arrived. He got rid of the curse but refused to let Itadori take control again, so I had to force him to. Are you okay sweetheart?"

You hum in confirmation, more focused on Itadori as he rouses from his unconscious state.

Things moved quickly after that, everyone piling into a car, you sticking by Itadori's side despite your father's protests.

There was not a moment after that where either you or Itadori were alone, and soon your small group was back within the safety of the school.

****

"You're fine - besides your broken ribs, you only have a few scrapes and bruises. A few days of rest and you'll be good as new."

Itadori gives his thanks as his doctor retreats.

It's been a few hours since he was attacked, and he was alone for the first time since he had faced the curse.

He looks up as he hears the door open, the very reason he's in the infirmary standing at the door.

Smiling stiffly, he greets Gojo.

"Gojo-sensei. What are you doing here."

It's not a question - it's an accusation.

"Itadori. You're looking better. How are you feeling?"

The false concern that coats his tone makes Itadori laugh.

"I'm feeling great. A bit sore, but other than that I'm all good."

Gojo hums lightly, turning to leave.

"Sensei." Itadori calls out to him, seeing Gojo pause at the door.

He speaks lowly, his tone serious.

"I remember everything that happened. Everything you said. And I just want you to know - I know she likes me. And I like her too."

Gojo feels his blood pressure rise, anger flooding his veins. Itadori's next words have Gojo wishing he'd ended him when he'd had the chance.

"So you'll have to try a lot harder than that to get rid of me."

Silence rings through the room, as if waiting with bated breath to see what happens next.

Gojo laughs lightheartedly, as if Itadori made a joke.

"Thanks for letting me know. Clearly I'll have to plan better next time."

He waves goodbye, sincerely wishing him a fast recovery.

As he leaves, he thinks to himself - and if that doesn't work, well, third times the charm.

After all, the higher ups wouldn't mind him removing Sukuna from the equation. Such a shame that they'd lose Itadori in the process.

Oh well.

He walks away with a satisfied grin.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yandere #dark content #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojo x reader #yandere gojo #platonic yandere gojo x reader #platonic yandere gojo #yandere gojo x reader #platonic gojo #yandere platonic #father gojo #itadori x reader #itadori yuuji #yuuji itadori x reader #female reader #yandere itadori yuji #yandere itadori x reader

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send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by

feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.

❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274�� ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

#sentence starters #generate sentence prompts #rp meme #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme #prompt for writing #rp prompt #send emoji meme #long tw

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ Fluffy intruders ~

Warnings: FLUFF & SMUT, dom!minho, fem!reader, established relationship(kinda?idk), fingering, nipple play, blowjob, penetrative sex (stay safe yall), sex ruined by cats hahaha

Word count: 2,079 words (whoops...)

Requested: Based of anons scenario (which made me laugh so hard, ty for making my day <33)

Note: i want a cat ;(( ALSO writing long smuts is heeeella difficult AA SORRY IF THIS IS SHIET

As a child you were never allowed to have pets. Your parents said that you didn’t have enough ‘responsibility’ to care for another living creature and so after years convincing you eventually stopped, deeming yourself forever petless. But that was until you met Minho. You vividly remember the first date which was at a local cafe, filled with hanging wall plants and rustic boxes of coffee beans. The brown haired boy looked cozy with a dark oversized sweater and a white and black checkered beret, his silver chain earrings shined everytime he moved his head. The strong musky scent of the coffee beans in the cafe fitted his image making him appear even cuter than you originally though. 

When you had ordered your drinks of choice you sat down at a table in the far back of the cafe, not visible to a lot of the visiters. The both of you plopped down on each side of the round table, momentarily gaining eye contact before breaking it, being to shy to look for too long. You noticed a couple strands of hair on the shoulder of his sweater. 

“Wait, you have something there” you said while smiling, gently leaning over the old rosewood table. 

Minho smiled back and froze a bit when your hand got closer to him, heart beating faster than ever. After all it was a cute girl sitting across him dressed exactly how he pictured you. 

“There you go” you leaned back into your seat as you threw the hairs on the stone flooring. Only when you looked back at him again did you notice that the color of the strands were not his signature dark brown but instead orange. You looked at him confused and just had to ask.

“Did you have orange hair recently?” was the only question you managed to get out but you instantly regretted it the moment it left your lips. ‘Why do I always make a fool out of myself?’ you though. 

Minho laughed, the apples of his cheeks rounded and his eyes formed a halfmoon shape. 

“No... I would like to try it someday to match my cat Soonie” he said through that cute smile on his lips, having a dreamy look when he mentioned his cat.

“YOU HAVE A CAT?” you said a tad bit too loud but you didn’t care, you were currently talking to someone that had the animal you always wanted to own. 

Minho laughed even louder, heart exploding from your cute reaction. 

“I actually have 3! They’re called Soonie, Doongie and Dori” he said, flashing his dad-like smile, looking like a proud parent over his cats.

Your eyes lit up as you tapped your legs in excitement.

“I want to know everything about them!” you squealed like a little child. 

“Yet another thing we have in common. I’ll tell you but let me fetch the drinks” he said with a soft comforting voice before he stood up and went to the counter. You followed his figure with your eyes. 

The rest of the date you talked about mostly his cats. Sure, you talked about other boring things like work but seeing Minho talk about his little critters made you fall in love even more. He pulled up his phone, a whole album was dedicated to the fluffy babies. He had everything you wanted. A perfect smile, a comforting personality and of course a nurturing side which was shown by how well he took care of the trio of cats. 

That was 2 years ago. Now, you were a full-time mom to the cats. And as much as Minho hates to admit it, his cats love you even more than him. There was only one little thing you could complain about ẃhen being a catmom and no, it’s not the amount of cat fur that flies into your mouth when kissing the kitties. 

You yawned as you closed the bedroom door and crawled into bed, the cats sleeping peacefully in their fluffy beds in the living room. Minho was already cuddled up with his phone, the blue light reflecting onto his complexion. He looked so concentrated and you refused to sleep without getting a good night kiss from the cozy boy 

“Kiss” you said, holding out your face in front of his phone.

“ha ha no” he turned the other way and lied on his side, only then did you see why he was obsessed with what was going on the screen. He was playing games with the other boys which made you roll your eyes. You were not giving up this easily and so you spread out on top of him, rubbing your face onto his. 

“KISS KISS KISS” you demanded to which Minho sighed, turning onto his back again. You were now straddling him and leaned down to kiss him on the lips, expecting a small peck but oh were you wrong. Minho put his soft hands on either side of your face, cupping your cheeks as he deepened the kiss by crashing his tongue on yours. The movement of the kiss formed a pace, making you slightly rub on against his member while the bed moved slowly. 

Minho moved his hands from your cheeks to your hips, pressing them against his hardening dick while you rubbed against it in a quicker pace. His eyes darkened, previously being rounded but now they were hooded, resembling the eyes of a dragon. A mysterious smirk appeared on his light red lips as he flipped you over, hovering above you. Your thighs rubbed together, body getting hotter by the second since you knew what waited everytime this happened. 

“Since you wanted a kiss so bad how about I give you something better?” he growled, eyeing you up and down, taking in the beauty of your body lying helpless underneath him. You swallowed a hard gulp as you nodded faintly. He took of his shirt, revealing his slightly muscular body he had been working on recently. With his hand he lifted up your light pink pyjama shirt exposing your two delicate buds and without a second though Minho attached his lips onto one of them, sucking relentlesly whilst his fingers played delicately with the other nipple. Your chest was a playground for Minhos tongue as he switched from nipple to nipple, licking and biting them playfully. Through clenched teeth you muffled a stiff moan as he twirled his tongue around the sensitive buds. You grabbed onto his dark hair, stroking it in encouragement to which Minho smiled in between bites.

His hand trailed down from your nipple, tracing the outline of your waist and hip as it softly halted around the band of your pyjama shorts. A firm grip was placed on your waist as Minho went back to kissing you, his lips covered in saliva from sucking on your nipples earlier. You patted him on the head as you bit his bottom lip, enhacing the romantic kiss. The grip on your waist loosened and plunged down your shorts making the burning feeling in your clit amplified. He traced his fingers over your clothed pussy, feeling your wetness through the thin fabric to which he smirked.

“I’ve barely done anything but my princess is already soaking” he said, breaking the kiss for a second. You nodded again, wanting his fingers inside you. It was almost like he was reading your mind because that’s exactly what happened. Being caught off guard, Minho pushed the fabric aside, digging two digits into your pulsating cunt. Tiny whimpers made it’s way out your mouth as he curled his fingers upwards, finding your g-spot. Those whimpers turned into moans as Minhos thumb started circling your enlarged clit. You looked at him and he looked back, signaling your desperation for him. He understood it in a heart beat and removed his fingers, immediately stripping himself from the loose fitting pants and boxers. His hard member sprung free from the clothes that were now lying on the floor somewhere. He was still on top of you, looking like a statue with when he stood on his knees that were on their side of your body, his dick only inches across your face. Lifting up your hips slightly you pulled your pyjamas and panties down before you semi-sat down again, the warm bed hitting your butt. 

Minho lifted your chin with the same fingers that were inside you moments prior, he looked you deep into the eyes before he placed his dick on your plump lips. You licked the tip slowly and looked him back into the eyes. He looked so much powerful than you when he was above you, asserting his dominance by grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing you down on his shaft making you choke. You sucked him of to the best of your abilities, hollowing your hot cheeks and drooling all over the place. 

“You look so pretty like this princess” he grunted out, the grip on your hair tightening as his noises got louder, twitching slightly between your lips. Minho rolled his head around and landed his eyes on yours to which you blushed. 

As he was nearing his release he pulled out of your mouth, you gasped for air and coughed. Just as you were about to wipe off the drool on your chin and chest he took the back of his hand and swiped the drool off of you, rubbing it on thr bedsheets. Even when his dominant side emerged he cared about you. 

“Face down, ass up” he said getting off you. A small “yes baby” fled your swollen lips that came from sucking him off too hard as you got into position. Minhos slightly cold fingers grazed your wet folds from behind, the sensation of cold feeling oddly numbing on your hot pussy. He grinned at the whimper that you let out and stood on his knees infront of your butt, lining himself up with your cunt. You shut your eyes tightly even before he put it in because you already knew the feeling. He was way to big for you and so it always stinged a bit before the pleasure kicked in. Yet again you were right, a moment of pain as he penetrated you but when you adjusted the feeling of being filled to the brim made you stammer out a moan. Minhos hands seemed bigger than they were when he grabbed onto your hips, setting a even pace.

“My pretty princess is always to tight for me” he said, focused on his movements. You could only moan in response, your lips pouting by the way your cheek was being squashed against the bed. Eventually the pace of his thrusts quickened causing the bed to shake. Minhos hands stroked your back from time to time, giving you goosebumps. Your moans got louder and as he grabbed both your arms pulling you against his member they turned into screams. You threw your head back, sweath covering the few stray strands of hair that poked out. Minho knew you were close by listening to your loud moans that sounded like music in his ears. But besides his low groans and the sound of skin slapping against each other you heard another sound. Minho stopped, turning around to face the door. 

Loud scratching and meowing erupted on the other side of the door which made Minho scoff while you looked with a confused expression at your boyfriend. He resumed this thrusts at an even quicker pace, you clenched around his dick feeling your release coming closer. 

“I’m making mommy feel good! Stop being such babies!” he yelled which confused you deeply as you laughed. 

“Who are you talking to?” you turned around to face your boyfriend.

“Who else but the spawn on satan that are those cats?” he said, the both of you bursted out in laughter. 

Minho let go of your arms and pulled out, feeling empty. You opened the door and saw the trio of cats marching in the bedroom one by one, getting comfortable on the bed. Minho covered himself with the duvet before snuggling his beloved babies. But the second you lied down on the bed, all three of the cats snuggled up with you instead leaving Minho feeling betrayed. 

“Traitors...” he mumbled looking visibly annoyed to which you giggled, petting the Soonie. 

“Ok out now! I was not done with mommy” he said to the cats pointing at the door. 

#stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids drabbles #lee know smut #skzsmut #minho smut #kpop smut #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you #lee know fanfic #lee know x reader #lee know x you #lee know x y/n

[stargaze-sunflower]

Hello! Could you do some Dewey and Louie bonding? Or maybe Dewey protecting his brothers? Your writing is amazing btw.

This ask is from way back when I was taking prompts sajdskj I'm sorry its so late but I dug up something that I wrote for the green beans discord and it sort of fit this so I cleaned it up a bit :]

The context is that Dewey and Louie have been stuck in a magical forest that shows them their worst memories, but it kinda starts near the end of that story so asjdkkjsa anyway I hope you enjoy!! <33

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dewey’s worst nightmare used to be Huey being freakishly tall, but now that he’d been introduced to freakishly tall trees in a disturbingly magical forest, he might be reevaluating that decision.

“We’ll get out of here,” Dewey said, softer than he might’ve, had it not felt like something was watching them. “We always get out.”

“Yeah, sure, we always escape magical forests that trap us and show us our worst memories,” Louie grumbled, sarcastic and defensive; tired and lost.

“You know what I mean,” Dewey said, standing up from where he’d been kneeling in a patch of bright green and glowing moss. He held out a hand for Louie to take. “We’re two-thirds of the Duck Boys, we’ll be fine.”

“It only takes once, you know,” Louie said, taking his hand and rising on slightly shaky legs. “And then always turns into sometimes, and my mental health will somehow get worse.”

“We’ll be fine,” Dewey reiterated, his chest squeezing a bit at Louie’s words, at the fact that he was so scared of sometimes. “I mean, we could probably use some help, sure. Or ideas. Or a miracle.”

“I’m afraid I’m out of stock,” Louie said drily.

Dewey laughed a bit, glad that most of the horrible tension from earlier had dissipated into something more manageable. Running from reruns of their worst memories until Louie collapsed into a panic attack had not been the fun adventure he’d been hoping for.

Still holding Louie’s hand, Dewey turned to take in their surroundings for what had to be the thirtieth time. There were trees as far as he could see, and they were taller than he could even fathom, so much so that he couldn’t see the sky, couldn’t tell if it was night or day. Patches of glowing green moss were spread haphazardly across the forest floor and growing near the bases of the trees. And speaking of trees…

“Do you think we should try climbing?” Dewey asked, his head tilted backwards at an uncomfortable angle as he searched for one worth a try. All the branches were at least twenty feet in the air.

“Nope, no. Absolutely not,” Louie said, tugging on his hand as if to shake the thought of it from his head. “I’d rather you didn’t fall and die, thanks.”

“Maybe one of those giant deer we saw earlier would catch me.”

“I don’t really want to see that either.”

“What? But it’d be so cool!”

“Do it on your own time, then,” Louie said, but a small smile was pulling at the corner of his beak, and Dewey grinned.

“That sounds like a challenge,” he said, teasing.

“That was the opposite of a challenge,” Louie said. “That was a thinly veiled plea to never leap into the arms of a giant deer.”

Dewey pouted playfully. “You’re no fun.”

“No, I just happen to have common sense and a healthy fear of injury.”

Something in the air shifted.

(“Fear, you say?”)

Dewey jumped about a mile in the air, startled, as Louie yelped in poorly concealed surprise. The voice seemed to come from all around them, layered and echoing and amused. Slowly, they turned around, and with wide eyes they took in the figure in front of them.

It was a child, glowing with the same light that had formed imitations of their family members just a few minutes ago. The child looked like a ghost, or a hologram, and despite its youthful appearance, Dewey got the feeling that it was older than anything he’d ever met before; ancient and magic and terrifying, like the trees surrounding them and the creatures they’d encountered throughout their adventure.

But it looked like a child.

The figure smiled, and Dewey blinked, feeling Louie’s grip on his hand tighten as they stared at the entity in front of them.

“Who are you?” Dewey blurted, forgoing a polite hello in favor of getting straight into whatever this was.

(“I am the forest,”) the child said, as if that were a perfectly normal and reasonable response. For their family, it might as well be. (“Why are you here?”)

“Trust me, I’d rather not be,” Louie spoke up, stepping out from where Dewey had subconsciously stepped in front of him. He gave the forest spirit a long, resigned look. “So if you could point us towards the exit, that would be great.”

(“There is no exit,”) the forest said, that amused undertone to its voice again, and then it smiled. (“But there is an escape.”)

“Okay, uh, can you point us to the escape, then?” Dewey asked, already frustrated by the word games the thing was playing.

The forest hummed as if deliberating, and the leaves around them rustled in an echo of it, low and haunting. Dewey felt Louie shiver.

(“It is something you have to find for yourself,”) said the forest spirit, floating forward a bit. (“All I can be is a guide. It is up to you, whether you leave or not.”)

There was a moment of silence, in which Dewey got the impression that the trees were breathing, or something equally as ridiculous.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Louie asked, growing bolder in his irritation. “We want to leave. Let us out.”

(“Freedom is not free, child,”) the forest said, for a moment sounding exactly as ancient as it really was. Sounding sad, almost. (“You have to give me something in return.”)

Dewey glanced back at Louie with a question in his eyes, and Louie just shrugged. Bargaining with the forest. Sure. Now he’d seen everything.

“What do you want?” Dewey asked.

(“An answer,”) said the forest, tilting its head to the side as it examined them. (“An answer to a question.”)

“Great,” Louie said flatly, exhaustion and resignation seeping into his voice. “Ask away.”

What Dewey had expected was some sort of riddle, or trick, or maybe an impossible task. What he got was something completely different.

(“What are you afraid of?”) the forest asked, and Dewey’s breath caught. The child frowned. (“No one ever tells me the truth.”)

“This has happened before?” Dewey asked, and the spirit shrugged.

(“I’ve lived for centuries,”) the forest said, looking around at the trees that were growing tall and proud around them. (“There are always those who wander.”)

“And do you let them leave?” Louie’s voice was careful in the way that meant he was scared. Dewey lightly squeezed his hand.

(“It depends on what they tell me.”)

Dewey swallowed, feeling the pressure begin to press in on him from all sides. He was the older brother here; he had to make sure they made it out.

“Okay,” Dewey said, after a few long seconds of eerie quiet. “I’m sacred of heights, and thunder, and— and rivers.”

He heard Louie’s rushed breath of surprise at his declaration, because there were definitely some things in there that his brother hadn’t known.

(“That is the truth,”) the forest acknowledged, (“but it is not enough.”)

“Why not?” Dewey asked, halfway to being offended.

(“What are you afraid of?”) the forest spirit repeated the question gently. (“More than anything.”)

“More than anything?” Dewey parroted, and the forest nodded. He’d never met a forest who could nod before.

Sighing, Dewey turned to look at Louie, who was staring back at him in resigned bewilderment. The glow from the moss cast him in an eerie sort of lighting, but he supposed it reflected the mood well enough. Eventually, Louie broke eye contact and sighed.

“Okay, sure, if we tell you our greatest fear, then you’ll let us leave?” Louie asked, apparently making sure that if he bared his soul, it would be for a good reason.

(“Yes,”) said the forest, simply. (“You will be free.”)

“Great, not ominous at all.”

“Do you even know what your greatest fear is?” Dewey asked, glancing at Louie over his shoulder. He wasn’t even completely sure if he knew his own.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” Louie said absentmindedly, not meeting his eyes, and Dewey’s stomach twisted into anxious knots.

(“Will you tell me the truth?”) asked the forest spirit, and it almost sounded like it was excited. (“It has been a long time since I’ve heard honesty.”)

“It’s been a long time since I’ve practiced it,” said Louie, “but I’ll do my best.”

The forest nodded, something like a wry smile pulling at its lips. (“That is the truth.”)

“Thanks,” Louie said, and then in the same breath: “I’m afraid of being useless. Of having nothing to offer that makes me worth keeping around. I’m afraid of hurting people, of letting them down. I’m afraid that I’ll be left behind because I’m the only one who doesn’t always like where we’re going.”

Dewey stood rigid in the wake of Louie’s confession, his hand gone still and clammy in Louie’s tight, shaking grip. The weight of the words was not lost on Dewey, who suddenly had something new that he was afraid of. He never wanted Louie to feel like any of that was even possible.

“Louie?” Dewey’s voice wavered around his little brother’s name, but Louie ignored him in favor of staring challengingly at the forest spirit.

There was a long pause, in which everything was hauntingly still.

(“That is the truth,”) the forest said eventually, a bit of pride making its way into its voice. (“Thank you.”)

“Yeah,” Louie said, sounding equal parts fragile and relieved. “No problem.”

Big problem.

“Louie,” Dewey said, looking at him with confused, hurt eyes. “Why do you— You know we’d never do any of that stuff, right?”

Louie just shrugged, smiling a bit awkwardly.

“Somedays it seems more rational than others,” he said, and then, “It’s your turn.”

Reluctantly, Dewey turned back to the forest spirit, who was standing there serenely and watching them patiently. Right. His greatest fears.

“I don’t like to think about being scared,” Dewey opened up with, deciding to just wing it. “So I guess I’m afraid of being afraid. I’m afraid of missing out, being ignored. I’m afraid that no one will ever think I’m special or unique. It would really suck to be thought of as boring, you know?”

(“I do not know,”) said the forest spirit, kindness shining through its old eyes as it looked at him. (“But that is the truth. Thank you.”)

“Sure,” Dewey said, feeling slightly sick. “Anytime.”

“Though preferably never again,” Louie added, his voice thin and weak.

Dewey turned to look back at him, and found nothing but sadness and understanding in his gaze.

“You’re special, Dewey,” Louie told him, “and the fact that we’re standing here talking to a forest spirit is testament enough to the fact that you couldn’t be boring even if you tried.”

Despite himself, Dewey started chuckling, and Louie joined in with giggles soon after, all of the tension tumbling out of them in the form of laughter. The forest spirit smiled at them.

(“Laughter is rarer than honesty,”) the forest spirit mused. (“Or at least it is so where I come from.”)

“It depends on the person, I think, more than the place,” Louie said, and how did their lives reach this point? Making casual conversation with the embodiment of a magical forest. “Can we go now?”

(“Of course,”) said the forest, leaning back against a tree, seeming completely at ease. (“I told you the truth. You may go.”)

“Oka—"

“Why did you need to know our greatest fears?” Dewey asked suddenly, overcome with curiosity. “Are you holding them hostage now? Will we not be afraid anymore?”

(“I am a magical being,”) the forest spirit said, smiling up at the leaves above them, (“but even I cannot make you fearless.”)

“Then what was the point?”

(“To make you brave.”)

“Brave?” Louie asked, frowning a bit.

(“Honesty and Bravery are closely connected.”) The forest shrugged. (“To have any of either is to wear your heart on your sleeve.”)

“That’s another thing I’m afraid of,” Louie said softly, a bit wonderingly, and Dewey glanced at him sharply. “Being known.”

(“And yet you are,”) said the forest, glancing at Dewey and smiling softly. (“And you are loved all the same.”)

“I’d call that a miracle,” Louie said, a wry grin growing on his face even as Dewey squeezed his hand in a silent reprimand.

(“You may call it whatever you want.”) The forest around them began to change, the trees shrinking and shifting in the corners of Dewey’s vision. (“But I call it the truth.”)

The glow of the moss began to fade away, leaving behind a depressing normalcy. The trees had molded themselves into a mere shadow of their former glory, sunlight passing through the leaves that hung shortly above them. Before long, the only thing left of the magical forest was the figure in front of them, fainter and more translucent now that its home was back in… whatever realm it had come from; Dewey didn’t really know much about the logistics of magical forests and such.

“Bye,” Dewey said awkwardly, uselessly, and the forest spirit laughed brightly, eyes crinkling.

The laughter lingered even after the childlike figure had disappeared, until even that was carried away on the wind, leaving Dewey and Louie standing in a perfectly average sort of forest, staring at the spot where the last of their adventure had just vanished into thin air. Too much had happened in the past few hours. Too much to even begin to process.

“That was… something,” Louie said faintly, and Dewey snorted.

Understatement of the century.

Dewey opened his mouth to respond, but the harsh sound of the bushes to their right moving around pulled his attention away. Huey and Webby came tumbling through the underbrush moments later, looking wild and worried. Dewey and Louie turned to look at them with wide eyes, and Huey sighed in relief.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Huey said, rushing over to them to pull them into a hug. “Where have you been?”

“And why were you holding hands and staring at a tree?” Webby added, scanning them for injuries.

“It’s a long story,” Dewey managed, finally letting go of Louie’s hand as they shared a look.

“Yeah,” Louie agreed, looking back at their other siblings, “and we’re not telling it until we’re far, far away from anything resembling a forest.”

“The trees have eyes and ears,” Dewey said, nodding seriously, fighting a smile when Huey and Webby looked properly baffled now.

“And the forest talks like a poet from like, 80 centuries ago. I don’t—” Louie cut himself off with a yawn. “I don’t know. I’m tired.”

Hueys face softened into something concerned and caring.

“Okay,” said Huey. “Okay, let’s go home.”

The wind ruffled their hair gently as they were led back towards the Sunchaser, and somehow the rustling of the leaves sounded like a goodbye. Dewey looked towards the sky and smiled.

#ducktales #star snippets #louie duck #dewey duck #ducktales fanfic #ducktales fanfiction #i know this came out of left field asjdkkasj sorry about that #i wrote this in july during one of mine and cookies angst sessions JKASDJKDAS #i hope this isn't super confusing #also thank you for the prompt!!!! :D #it was one of my favorites ajkdsaj you guys know how much i love dewey and louie bonding #it was just that by the time i got to it i had run out of energy to write it #but this is already written so here it is #i'm thinking about posting these snippets on ao3 but idk if i should do it separately or as a chaptered work #yall i just really wanted to write a mystical magical forest spirit when i wrote this #anyway enjoy :]

[we-have-bangtan]

I summoned you

Random one-shot #3

Pairing: demons!OT7 x witch!reader

Genre: fluff, fluff and more fluff, poly au

warning: swearing, its hella longggggg. <33

Part 2

Synopsis: The seven most powerful demons in the world were summoned for the first time in over a hundred years only to find out that their summoner is a little witch who was being hunted by witch hunters. She seeks protection from them but at what cost?

“Who the fuck summoned us?” Hoseok groaned feeling the familiar pain of transformation go through his body, “I don’t know but it better be worth it, I’m getting too old for this shit” Seokjin groaned as pain shot through his veins, black, bat-like wings erupting from his back as he fell to the ground in pain, the scars on his body burning up.

          Namjoon wasn’t much better either, biting into a pillow as burning pain took over his head, his horns and fangs coming out for the occasion, it had been over a hundred years since they had last been summoned and they were bearing the pain of not transforming in all there years, Jungkook hissed as he felt his tailbone extend out of his body, piercing through his skin to form a tail.

Jimin and Tae held each other as each of their left eyes glowed bright, screaming as they changed from black to red, “I hope it isn’t an accident again or I’ll eat them alive” Jungkook groaned as he pulled himself off the ground grimacing at the pain that shot through his body.

Yoongi was the only one not in pain because he had been living in his demon form for a few years now, he didn’t have to transform.

“The spell was lost, I don’t know how someone is summoning us” he informed as Seokjin opened the portal to the mortal world, the portal would take them to where ever they were being summoned.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Y/n anxiously stared at the pentagram she had drawn on her cottage floor, she’d be over if this spell didn’t work. She could hear the villagers approaching, could see the glow of their torches from her window. They were climbing up the hill, coming for her life, this spell was her only way of living.

She didn't know why the villagers had turned on her so easily when she had never done anything to them. She had kept her witchcraft confined to her cottage and its surroundings, but they seemed to have found out, she would blame the church people for that, because they were at the beginning of the uprising egging the villagers on.

They had almost caught her an hour ago when she had gone down for supplies, her arms were bruised from their assault but she had managed to escape from them, but she could run anywhere except her cottage.

She couldn't run anymore, there was no where to run now, she either had to stand and fight, which she was too weak for, or she had to perish, which she was too stubborn for so she had taken to the last resort, the demon spell.

Her magic wouldn't be enough to Wipeout all the people who were marching up the hill to her cottage, they'd burn her on the stake if they caught a hold of her, it would be a death with no pride or honor.

She felt the air shift around her, the salt grains blowing here and there and the candles flickering, the wind picked up speed outside as a portal opened directly above the pentagram and a demon fell out, falling to the ground with a thud and a groan. She moved to help him up but quickly stopped as a scream came from inside the portal before six other demons fell on the first one. Chaos ensured as each of them yelled at the other to get off their wings or tails or any other body part, she loudly cleared her throat to grab their attention making seven pairs of eyes snap to her.

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"Did you summon us little girl?" Namjoon asked as he took in her condition, she was awfully malnourished, her arms bruised and frail, she was a timid little thing who he assumed wasn't much younger than Jungkook before he had been changed into a demon. The girl nodded, holding a wand in her hand, a witch, Seokjin realized before he focused on her arms, “How did you summon us little witch” he asked, he was pretty sure the spell to summon them was a 21+ spell and she barely looked 18+ to him.

           “with the spell of course although I didn’t know it would summon seven of them, I would have drawn a lager circle had i known” she mumbled making Yoongi gawk at her statement, “HOW THE FUCK DO YOU CAST A SUMMONING SPELL WITHOUT KNOWING HOW MANY DEMONS IT WOULD SUMMON?? WE COULD HAVE RIPPED YOUR THROAT OUT THE MOMENT WE SHOWED UP HERE” Hoseok barked, snapping his fangs at her.

 “I know, no need to be an arse about it” she retorted as Hoseok stared at her in disbelief, “well then why did you summon us little witch?” Taehyung intervened, “I need help,” she stated plainly. This piqued Jimin’s interest, they all were clearly thinking the same thigh judging from the look in their eyes, they were mates, he knew how they thought, “Are you sure you can pay the price for our services darling” Seokjin remarked sweeping his eyes over the mostly bare cottage. 

            This girl was clearly living alone, a cauldron with coals under it sat in one corner of the house and a winding staircase lead up to attic which he assumed was her bedroom. Clothes hung to dry near the fire place in another corner of the house, her cupboards were mostly empty other than a loaf of bread and a tin of something he couldn’t recognize. She clearly didn’t have much to give.

“What is your price?” She asked, Yoongi admired her guts, she was clearly working hard on trying to seem unafraid, although she failed miserably, at least she tried. The seven of them thought for a while when they head a loud bang on the door. The girls eyes widened in fear, “they’re here” she cursed as she cast a colloportus spell on the door, “hurry up please” she pleaded, “what’s going on? what help do you need?” Jungkook asked as Seokjin place a shield over the door blocking the people from coming in for a short while.

                “They’re hunting me and i want them gone” she revealed, the boys looked up at her, “how sure are you that we won’t rip your throat once you set us free from this circle” Yoongi asked, “I don’t have anything to lose if you kill me the moment i let you free, I don’t have much to live for anyway” she answered, “we’ll discuss the price once we’re done” Namjoon warned as she cast the aqua eructo spell, a stream of water sprouting from the tip of her wand, wiping the circle of salt away just as a window shattered, glass spilling everywhere.

               “Jimin, get her somewhere safe” Namjoon commanded his mate, the younger demon nodded dutifully before stepping forward and wrapping an arm around her waist, positioning his wings, “hold on tight” he warned as he too to the air, going out through the back door of the cottage, taking her to the roof of the cottage, “stay here while we sort that stuff out” he told her, taking off to join the others.

        They possessed the humans, making them kill each other or they’d simply burn them to a crisp, she had expected them to be strong and powerful, but not this powerful, powerful to wipe out all the people who had come to attack her. She didn’t pay much heed to the humans who ran into the forests, she didn’t care where they went as long as they didn’t come near her or her cow, Morphus, who was currently in the shed, a little away from the clearing she lived at. 

  She noticed one of the church men trying to climb the roof to get to her but she quickly jinxed him, making him fall off the roof. Half way through the battle, Yoongi called in quits because the boys could deal with it without him, he joined Y/n on the roof top, folding his wings carefully to not hurt her, “Why don’t you just move from here, go fin some other forest to live in” he asked, leaning back on his hands, looking up at the sky, “there’s no where else to go, I’ve been running for too long” she answered and with that all conversation subsided as they both watched the others fight, Yoongi noticed a few people running for the forests and jerked up to go after them only to be stopped by Y/n, “let them be,” she said and he obey’d.

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It didn’t take the demons long to finish everyone, they all gathered in her kitchen, Jin and Taehyung were hurt, but nothing big, just minor wounds according to the two demons but she insisted on tending to their injuries with a warm cloth and some potions, “this will scar” she told Jin, feeling guilty all of a sudden, “one of a million, don’t worry” he smiled as she wrapped his almost fully healed hand up.

“what is this?” Jungkook asked as he peered down the mug on Y/n’s table, “banana milk” she answered as she turned to Taehyung to wrap his wound up too, Jungkook took a sip of the milk before downing the whole mug, “do you have more?” he asked, looking like a child who wants an extra treat, she nodded, getting up to pull out a jar full of it from her cupboard, handing it to the boy, she didn’t seem the least bothered that a demon boy was drinking up all her banana milk. 

“so what is the price I have to pay? if you’ll hurry up, I have cleaning to do” she said looking at the dead bodies scattered all around her house, some even on tree branches. The boys looked at each other, “We’ll need some time to discuss” Namjoon said on behalf of them all, “you do that and I’ll clean that up” she said, grabbing her wand and leaving the house.

“So, what now?” Namjoon asked once he made sure she was far away from them, “I don’t think she can really give much, she barely has anything herself” Hoseok said, scanning the room again, “This place is nice tho, although she could use some more things in it” Seokjin admitted, looking around the peaceful cottage, it was clean, and would look beautiful if it wasn’t so bare, “it is” Namjoon admitted when Jimin’s piped up, “I don’t like the fact that she lives like this, she could die any moment and no one would notice, maybe we can come here more often” he suggested, already planning all the things he’d bring here from the underworld, Namjoon nodded, “it has been way too long since I’ve actually seen the sky, donno why mortals have to have all the good things when they die so easily” he huffed as he looked out of the window, looking down at the valley in which the village nestled.

        “I have an idea hyung, why don’t we use her place as a sort of abode, she can offer her house to us when ever we want in exchange for our services” Taehyung offered and Namjoon and Seokjin agreed, it would be nice to come to the mortal world often, “is everyone fine with that?” he asked the others, none of them rejected the idea and soon enough, Y/n was called back in.

   They explained what they wanted and she just stared at them, dumbfound, “why would you want to come here when you can live luxuriously in the demon world?” she asked, “the demon world is not all its cooked up to be” Jimin answered.

It took a little convincing (threatening) to get her to agree but she did.

________________________________

________________________________

The boys were common visitors to her little cottage, each of them would show up on their own accord and timing with their own reasons, often in their human form, she had been surprised to see how much more handsome the seven of them were in their human forms and she had told them so.

             They would show up with little things that she would need around the house, sometimes unnoticeable and sometimes ridiculous, they’d bring her small fancy plates and saucers, fabrics and potion ingredients and even a new wand once before they progressed to bringing bigger things like vases and pillows and rugs despite her protesting.

Namjoon was the first to show up at her door with a book in hand to see books about the seven of them scattered on her table. They had stopped popping up directly inside the house after Y/n had yelled at them for freaking her out, “reading up on us I see” he commented as he dragged a chair to sit, “I’ll have to because i literally don’t know anything about the seven of you” she mumbled as she read on. They both read their books in silence before Y/n offered him tea which he accepted gratefully.

  Seokjin and Jungkook were the next one’s to show up because they were hungry, she served them with honey bread and maple syrup. Seokjin showed a keen interest in cooking, offering to help her out while she cooked for the three of them, since then, he’d show up during meal times to eat with her and cook with her, it became something the two of them got used to and one of the greatest things Seokjin would miss once she had passed.

   Jungkook and her bonded over banana milk, the boy couldn’t get enough of it, even taking some back to the demon realm only to come back for more the next day. They both would wander the forest in search of bananas and maple trees and make the banana milk together, he was the most frequent visitor that even Morphus had started to recognize Jungkook who would sit next to Y/n when she milked the cow every morning.

Tae and Jimin would often come together just to mess with her and to make a fool out of the villagers down in the valley. They went herb searching together in the forests. They’d pick flowers for the house and they even dug up a well for the little cottage to use.

Hoseok would also come by often just to gossip with her, telling her about all the events in the demon world, they both would talk over tea and little cakes about Namjoon’s snoring and Seokjin’s new obsession with bad jokes. On days which were not too hot or too cold they’d set up a table outside and just bask in each others company.

Yoongi was the last to visit her, and even when he did visit, he decided to take a nap only to get back up complaining about how bumpy the mattress was before vanishing off and coming back with a new mattress. They’d nap together on days Y/n didn’t have anything to do, and had been found wrapped up with each other by the other quiet often. 

They’d all come together once every few days to have lunch and dinner and to talk and play, enjoying the sun and grass and flowers before they had to go back to the demon world.   

It was funny to see the seven strongest demons be so gentle and ind to a little human girl, weaving flower crowns for her and laying their head in her lap, taking cat naps together.

_____________________________

_____________________________

They seven boys got quiet attached to the little witch, trying to meet her as often as possible and be as gentle as possible to her. Imagine their surprise when Namjoon walked in on a sorcerer sitting on one of the chairs as Y/n made him a cup of tea. 

“A demon!” the sorcerer shrieked as Namjoon came inside the house, Y/n slowly turned around to see Namjoon standing st the door, greeting him with a smile and a kiss to his cheek, “Namjoon-ah meet my mentor, the great Sorcerer Potter” she introduced as Namjoon felt a green knot form in his chest, he was sure the rest of his mates felt it too because a portal opened not soon after, tossing the 6 other boys into the mortal world, all of them looking eerily calm, “why is he here y/n? he questioned, “he just came to visit” she explained, “then why is his smell all over you?” Jungkook demanded, grabbing her wrist to get a scent of her.

“get lost” Yoongi hissed at the sorcerer, the powerful man shrieked as he apparated to who knows where. “Y/n,” Hoseok said, taking her hands in his, “did he touch you” he asked, his voice low, she shook her head, no, no one had touched her, thank the demons, Jimin thought as he enveloped her in his arms, overpowering the sorcerer’s smell with his own. “good, don’t let anyone touch you except for us little witch” Seokjin mumbled as he placed a kiss on her forehead, she hummed in agreement as they all bundled up in her cozy cottage, now a lot more comfortable and colorful than before.

They loved her but they couldn’t have her because demons didn’t deserve happiness, it was a curse on them, they weren’t meant to love, only hate and kill because even if they loved y/n they’d inevitably end up with a part of their heart hollow because demons couldn’t love little witches because demons were immortal while witches would meet their end soon enough.

None of them laid with their little witch because it was forbidden but they did caress her, they held her close and made her feel warm and loved by each of them, they were tender and careful with her, trying to spend every moment with her and while that might seem like too much for a mortal, it was a mere few moments for immortals and they tried to carve her memory into their hearts and minds so they would never forget her despite how much time passed by.

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___________________________________

The eight of them spent 86 years together, Y/n passed due to illness at the ripe age of a hundred and twelve years with a smile and her seven demons surrounding her when she too her last breath.

The demons wished she’d reincarnate bu they didn’t keep much hope in that because demons wishes were never fulfilled. But they lived on with the memory of the little witch who had summoned them and had carved herself into their cold, dark hearts.

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Y/n's cottage

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First try, how was it? let me know!!!!

#bts #bts jhope #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts suga #bts fanfction #bts fantasy au #bts fic #bts jin #bts taehyung #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts demon au #bts x reader #ot7 x you #bts ot7 #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts army #bts smut #first time

[extremelyblackandwhite]

innocence - 33

PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader

WARNINGS: assault, swearing, trauma, tones of ptsd 

A/N: this chapter is heavy with prominent mentions of assault. if that triggers you, please skip this chapter. 

NEXT CHAPTER

She stood in the middle of the set, surrounded by bright lights as the cast and staff moved around to change the setting of the set design. There was nothing she could really feel and she felt herself almost out of her own body, the lack of sleep weighing not only on her eye bags but on her brain and ability to properly function. She felt she was watching herself out of her own body, watching as she dragged herself from scene to scene, almost changing into a completely different person when the cameras were on. It was mechanical, an ability of someone who’d been acting since she was a child. She slipped in and out of her own consciousness, almost knowing everything with a sharp eye but ignoring it. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t sleep. Any news that appeared regarding HYDRA or criminal organisations were always a trigger to keep her up at night. The silence itself was a trigger. Every blank letter she would get would send her into a spiral, every knock on her door. Wherever she turned, either Bucky or however haunted her seemed to surge. Except this time, Bucky wasn’t around. Sharon was but she couldn’t help to think something was off. 

Two weeks. 

Something was off.

She was no super soldier and she was no agent so all she could do was merely put a smile and say “nothing” whenever they asked her if something was wrong. Not that they asked, she was a good actress after all so to everyone else, even Sharon, she was peachy keen, with the same shy smile she always had on set. After all, this was the place she could be anyone but herself. Anna, the character she was playing, was so far removed from her own personality that whatever she felt seemed to dissipate mid takes. Yet, there was no comfort in becoming someone else, becoming someone who was so one dimensional she’d rather be back in her mind. Wherever she turned, she felt trapped, shackled by the weight of her own thoughts. There was nothing she could do. 

     - CUT! It’s a wrap everyone. - the bright lights dimmed as a ‘pop’-like sound removed her from her own dazed consciousness. She clung onto her own arms, turning around with a quickened heartbeat which slowed down as she realised it was merely a bottle of champagne which was now being half poured into flutes and half poured onto the floor. Yet, all she could hear was a buzzing in her ears.

She stood in the middle of everything, almost like a movie shot. Things moved fast but she knew they moved slowly and she remained there, in the middle of the shot, listening to everything as if she were underwater. Everyone was celebrating, drinking and laughing out loud but she couldn’t hear anything. Just a buzz. That’s all she could hear. The buzz and the sound of the wind bustling her dress. 

     - Y/N? - Sharon moved through the crowd, knowing way too well what was happening. She had seen it before. She carefully put her hand just slightly over her shoulder, not touching her but anyone would sense it. - Can you breathe in and out?

    - Huh? - she was once again pulled out into her body and suddenly everything was just too fast, everything was just too loud as if someone had pressed the forward button on an old VHS tape. Her eyes moved side to side as her own hand pressed against her chest, a forceful reminder to feel her own heart beat. - Yeah, hum, I just need a break.

    - That’s fine. - Sharon nodded her head and started to guide her out the middle of the set; however, a much familiar sound of heels hitting the gravel halted those plans. The she was, always board in hands. - Move. 

    - You’re needed. - Ms. Olson pointed at the actress in front of her with her pen. - The director wants to speak to you. 

    - Yeah, that’s fine. - Y/N pulled a fake smile. There was no use putting a fight, she had already done so and something told her not to stray too far off the cage they had put her in. She knew that with Bucky gone and Sharon under the cover she was one of her old university classmates which had settled down in New York as a stage manager, she had no protection, at least no personal protection. What she had belonged to the agency and if she toed out of line, she’d be left to fend for herself. She could barely look at the mail without shivering, much less fend for herself. She was a short woman, anyone taller than her could easily overpower her and that was the sad truth.

Once again, she found herself out of her body, watching as she walked the gravel with Ms. Olson to the trailer belonging to the director. Y/N was tired, she had no intention of wanting to speak to anyone, all she wanted to do was try to sleep yet here she was knocking on the door of the man she had learned to stray away from. The door was opened by his assistant, a small woman barely in her twenties, couldn’t be much younger than 5 years from Y/N, who had an almost meek look to her, hunched back even. Before Y/N could ask her what was wrong, the director, Mr. Powell, was already yelling out for the assistant to leave and for Y/N to come already.  The girl stepped out and closed the door behind Y/N, leaving the two of them inside his trailer. It was grimy with papers and open bottles everywhere and the stench of smoke was thick in the air. It was almost comical, cartoonish even how it looked as if a cartoon, over exaggerated version of a 70′s movie director. 

   - Sit down. - he pointed to the spot on the brown couch near him. She was hyper aware of everything as she sat down on the couch, yet living a big space between the two of them. - You almost ruined my shot today with those puffy eyes, darling. 

    - I’m sorry, sir. I’ve been having some personal issues, I thought they would’ve de puffed by today. 

    - I’ve heard. - he took a puff of his cigarette which laid in the middle of his calloused fingers, laying against the couch rest as if he were on top of the world, when he was merely as much of an unknown as she was. He was no famous director, he wasn’t even a good one. - I thought you were missing your shadow. Where is he anyway? Lost his mind again? You know, darling, I’m always worried about you. I mean once a killer, always a killer, right?

    - ... You’re pathetic. - it came out of her lips without her even noticing it. She stared at him with a lack of respect few people saw yet as quickly as she said those words, she was pined down against the brown leather of the couch. She could feel the cracked leather against the skin of her neck. His hand gripped her throat, hard, cutting her air flow and keeping her against the couch cushions. 

   - You ungrateful little bitch. - Y/N started kicking her feet, trying to somehow roll over on the floor. - I gave you the best role, put up with you not losing any weight and looking like any average shopping girl and how do you repay me? By being a whore? 

She continued to kick her legs up in down so fast it had already started to tire her muscles. Her hands clawed at his face, leaving scratch marks which were sure to remain red and angry on his cheeks. 

   - I’m gonna give you some advice, darling. You wanna get ahead? Start whoring yourself for someone other than your boyfriend.

His hands left her neck and he returned to sit down where the place where he had been, as if he hadn’t just chocked her against the couch pillows. Y/N got up from the couch and bolted towards the door, pulling it open and climbing down the stairs, noticing the assistant was in front of them. Same meek look, yet Y/N continued to charge away from the set villa until she stopped on the sidewalk, sitting down as she watched the traffic in front of her. The weather was cloudy and dark yet somehow the cars lights made it brighter and it hurt her head. It hurt her head too much. The smell of fog and the bright lights hide her away as she tucked her head in the middle of her knees, chest going up and down yet no tears rolled down her face. 

     - Hey ... - Sharon sat by her side. - Let’s go home, yeah? 

The fog merely thickened and lowered, covering the whole of New York in a somber mood. The wind itself was also fast and freezing and as Bucky stepped inside government headquarters, the mood as just as somber. The lights were yellow yet everything had a weird green-like tinge. Everyone was mechanically induced into their own work yet he was hyper aware of everything. Two weeks. Two weeks to bring in a HYDRA general and a senator which were sure to buy their own bail and go back and all he could say and think was he was tired. James “Bucky” Barnes was tired and worn down. 

He strutted towards the interviewing room where Agent Cox and Doctor Raynor were. It was nothing new to him, it was always the same; he would return from whatever assignment had been given to him and be questioned on it by whatever agent was looking over the case and then had a “therapy” session with Doctor Raynor. It was never to check if he was alright, or at least it barely was. They just wanted to see him, to see the Winter Soldier was still inactivated. He understood that yet that didn’t mean he particularly liked it.

He told the agent all he wanted know, from where he had found the two he had just brought in, to some background info. There wasn’t much to say and when he was done, he was left with Doctor Raynor. He stood against his metal chair, convinced to get this over and done with so he could go back to Brooklyn. Back to her. 

    - How are you, James?

    - I’m good, doc. Can I go now? 

    - James, that’s not how this works. You should know that by now. - she opened her notebook. Great. - Tell me about the mission.

    - It was an extraction, mission. No one got hurt. - lies. He had gotten hurt, he had taken a pretty harsh blow to his cheekbone which was developing into a nasty purple bruise, yet, that was not who they were questioning him about. If he had gotten hurt, it didn’t matter. - No nightmares either. 

    - Are you lying to me, James?

    - No, I just want to get out of here. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in two weeks. 

    - Tell me about your girlfriend. - she closed the notebook, almost as if this was off book yet he knew that nothing was off book. Not for him. Everyone has the right to privacy but the Winter Soldier. - What’s her name? 

    - Y/N. 

    - How old is she? 

    - Younger than me. 

    - No need to be hostile, James.

    - No need to ask me about my love life, doc. 

    - Any big fights? Any ... problems regarding your condition? Healthy sex life?

    - Are you asking me if I abuse my girlfriend? - his blood boiled yet he tried to keep cool. He knew an anger outbreak would only keep him in this session for longer than he wanted. Despite this, he chose to get up and leave the room. 

He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear those accusations, he didn’t even want to think about it. Bucky did not like the idea of the Winter Soldier and Y/N together. He didn’t want to merge those two worlds together. The Winter Soldier was someone, a part of him which he didn’t fully understand and he didn’t want Y/N together with it. No, Bucky wanted Y/N to only see whatever bit of kindness, whatever few bits of goodness lied within him. He didn’t want her to the Winter Soldier’s girlfriend. He knew he didn’t deserve her and that title only further reminded him. 

He continued to be lost in his head, those questions running through his mind as he unlocked the door only to be met with Sharon pointing her gun at him. She lowered her gun once she realised who it was that stood in the entrance, putting the gun back in between her jeans and her shirt. 

   - Two weeks? That was long. 

   - Not my fault, Sharon. - Bucky dropped his duffel bag to the floor. - How is she?

   - Not good. - Sharon crossed her arms. - You have to tell her things, James. C’mon, you can do that with me and Steve and maybe even Sam. We know them, we’ve been in missions before but she doesn’t. 

   - Spare me this.

   - She barely slept while you gone, James. God, are you so afraid she’ll stop loving you if you tell her about the Winter Soldier that you’d rather her live in constant anxiety every time you have to leave?

    - I won’t have to leave. 

Sharon scoffed, grabbing her jacket from the coat hanger.

    - Do you seriously believe that, James? 

    - Since when do you care about Y/N?

    - Stop being your worse enemy, James. She deserves to know.

God, she sure was awful now, Bucky thought to himself as Sharon left probably to return to Steve. The flat was intact, things were just as he had left them and everything was quiet except for the TV in the living room. Their bedroom door was slightly opened, probably so Sharon could keep an eye on Y/N. He took his shoes off so his steps wouldn’t alarm her and walked into the bedroom. She was there, in the bed, laying on her side, sleeping peacefully. Bucky walked up to her side of the bed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. 

She stirred in her sleep, eyes slowly opening as Bucky began to shush her, trying to make sure she went back to sleep. Last thing he had wanted was to awake her up.

    - Bucky? - she held herself onto one arm, the other hand coming to rub the sleep off her eyes. Once the blurriness dissipated and she confirmed it was indeed her Bucky, she wrapped her arms around him tightly, almost knocking him into the bed.

Bucky melted in her touch, burying his nose in her hair, sensing the scent of vanilla from her shampoo and the warmth of her skin. This was home, not Brooklyn but her. She was home, she felt like home. She pulled away from the hug for a bit to examine him, her fingers brushing the bruise on his cheekbone.

    - What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?

    - I’m fine. It’s just the bruise, Y/N. 

    - I’ll get some ice. - she prepared to get out of bed but he pushed her back on it. She felt onto his chest and he held her against him with one arm. What he did not expect was to see how uncomfortable she became at the inability to move. He was used to playing around with her, rolling around or having her on top of his chest. 

   - What’s wrong, princess?

   - Nothing ... - she shook her head. - I just missed you. I was afraid you were hurt or you were dead. 

   - I’m not hurt, I’m here. 

   - You’re staying, right? - she questioned, rolling to his side of the bed, laying on his side. - You’re not here just to visit.

   - Yeah, I’m staying, princess. - he caressed her cheek, leaning his forehead against hers. Sharon’s words, however, kept pulling at him. She loved him, he knew she loved him. Right? 

   - You’re making the face.

   - What face?

   - Your thinking face. - she cuddled against him, fingers softly pulling his chin down so he was looking at her. - What are you thinking about?

   - You love me, right? - he probably sounded insecure, he could hear himself sounding insecure, his voice cracking. She cocked her head to the side before raising her fingers to trace his jaw. 

   - Of course I do. You think I’d be marrying you if I didn’t love you?

   - I wanted to hurt them. - he blurted. - I wanted to torture them. Both of them.

   - Who?

   - Every time they send me to any of these assignments. Make amends ... I wanna hurt those people, I wanna hurt them like they hurt me and I hate it.

   - Buck ...

   - I’m ... I wanna be a good person, Y/N. I wanna be good. - he shut his eyes tightly. - And I’m not. 

   - It does not make you a bad person to want to hurt you hurt you, to want revenge. You do not act on it and that’s the difference. You’re not a bad person, Bucky. 

   - You’re the only person who thinks that. 

   - Doesn’t matter. - she smiled at him, softly kissing him. - I’m not expecting you just to move on and let it go. It’s part of your life and it’s part of you and I love you. All bad and all good, I love you. 

   - Maybe you need a better judgement. 

   - I have the best judgment between the both of us. I have no thrown myself off a plane without a parachute. 

   - That can’t be your way of winning arguments. 

   - It is my way of winning arguments. - she giggled at him. - Let’s just go to sleep. 

The night seemed short, way too short but it did not matter because both of them were there. It was calm, too calm until a harsh knock had both of them wake up from her slumber, the morning barely bright yet there was already some light. Y/N clung onto his arm as another harsh knock was delivered against his door. Bucky moved slowly to take his gun from under the bed before he walked out the bedroom, putting his gun behind his back as he opened the door. The police stood in front of him, quite a few of them. Way too many.

   - James Buchanan Barnes, you are under arrest for the alleged harassment and stalking of Miss Y/N Y/L/N.

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#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan au #bodyguard sebastian stan #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky/you #bucky/y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky au #bodyguard!bucky barnes #bodyguard!bucky

[tobesolonely]

jealousy

a/n: hello! this is a little one shot that’s apart of my dad!harry universe! you dont have to read the original one to understand this one shot but if you’d like to, ill link it here . i hope everyone enjoys! please reblog and leave feedback if you do<33

summary: y/n and harry have another child, and their first born is a little skeptical on the idea of being a big sister.

warnings: none

word count: ~1.7k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

After hours of excruciating contractions, a backache like nothing you’ve ever felt in your life, and the horrid discomfort that came with pushing, you forgot all about your displeasure when Harry grabbed your hand, eyes sparkling, and said: “He’s beautiful, Y/N. Oliver’s here.”

When you found out you were having a baby boy, you were ecstatic. You and Harry already had a daughter, a fiery six-year-old named Allison, or Ally, as she preferred, and wanted to try for a boy. Girls run on both sides of your family, so you were pleasantly surprised when you found out you were expecting a baby boy. However, your daughter was not so happy about this news.

At first, you and Harry thought that the farther along you got in your pregnancy, the more your daughter would warm up to the idea of being a big sister. Unfortunately, the opposite happened. She became withdrawn and had outbursts that you would describe as “unpredictable and unprovoked.” You tried using your own experience as an older sibling to help your daughter know what to expect. You let her pick the color for the nursery. Harry got a t-shirt made that said, “Best big sister ever!” but she never wanted to wear it. Despite your greatest efforts, nothing changed your daughter’s attitude. She was much like you in that aspect— once she had an opinion on something, it was difficult to get her to see things from a different perspective. Still, you were looking forward to your eldest meeting the newest addition to the family.

After a few hours of skin to skin, feeding, and napping (because everyone knows you sleep when the baby sleeps), Harry breaks the silence. “Told my mum she can come over with Ally and Gem, now. Are yeh okay with visitors?” His voice is scratchy from not speaking for so long, and he’s whispering in an effort to not wake up your son.

“That’s fine,” you respond, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. “Just exhausted. Maybe a short visit?” Harry nods, telling you he already suggested they don’t stay for long. You look over at your son, starting to feel a little anxious. Ally had six months to adjust to the idea of having a sibling, and she was upset about it right up until the very end. When you went into labor, as Harry frantically got the car packed, she stood off to the side and said nothing. When Harry’s mom arrived as you were getting set to leave, the two of you told your daughter to be good, gave her hugs and kisses, and reminded her how loved she was. Still, Ally said nothing. When Anne waved as Harry backed the car out of the driveway, Ally had a look on her face that she didn’t often wear— a look that could best be described as pure hurt.

“What’s on your mind?” While you were lost in your thoughts, Harry moved from the chair near the window to the one next to your bed.

“I’m just worried about how Ally’s gonna react to him,” you gesture toward your son, who was still fast asleep in his bassinet. “Did you see how she looked at us when we left? Hardly said a word to either one of us.”

Harry hums thoughtfully, thinking back on the earlier day's events. “Guess you’re right, now that ‘m thinkin’ about it. She didn’t seem excited at all, did she?”

You shake your head, tears starting to form in your eyes. Harry’s expression softens, and he reaches to gently cup your face. “Hey, don’ gotta cry, lovie. Just wait ‘til she sees him. Promise she’ll fall in love jus’ like we did, trust me.” He wipes a stray tear from your cheek and gives you a reassuring smile.

“You’re right,” you tell him, feeling silly for getting so emotional so quickly. “I know it’s a big adjustment. My mom told me I was the same way when my little sister was born.” Harry nods, retracting his hand from your face and reaching to grab a tissue from the table beside your bed.

“See? Who woulda thought yeh didn’t like your sister when she was born? The two of yeh are inseparable at this point, know she’d be right here beside you if she wasn’t away at university.”

You’re about to respond when a gentle knock at the door interrupts your conversation. Harry’s eyes light up as he turns to see his mother, Gemma, and your baby girl all walk into the room. Gemma is holding a big bouquet of flowers, Anne has a bunch of balloons with “It’s a boy!” written in curly script, and Ally is clutching onto her grandmother’s hand, a stuffed bear that you don’t recognize as being hers in tow.

“C’mere and give Daddy a hug,” Harry immediately stands up and goes to pick up your daughter, twirling her around. “Missed yeh so much, love bug. Were you good for grandma and auntie Gem?” Harry’s voice is still quiet, as Oliver was still sleeping, and no one wanted to deal with a fussy baby at the moment.

“Yes, daddy.” Ally answers quietly and shortly, looking down at the floor. Harry notices this and sets her down, kneeling to make eye contact with her.

“What’s wrong, Ally? Mumma and Daddy have noticed that yeh haven’t been yourself lately. Something botherin’ you?” Harry questions, already knowing why she was so upset but wanting to give her a chance to freely express how she was feeling.

“S’just…” she says, tugging on her shirt and stretching it out, a bad nervous habit she developed. “I don’ think I want a brother, Daddy. Auntie Gem said it would be fun, but I jus’ don’t think so.” Your daughter has a look of genuine worry on her face. At this point, Gemma and Anne have made their way over to you, quietly offering congratulations and gushing over Oliver.

“What makes yeh think it won’t be fun, bug? What are some things you’re worried about?” Harry takes one of her little hands in his, rubbing gentle circles on her thumb. Ally harshly rubs at her eyes, and you know this means she’s about to start crying.

“Jus’ think you and Mumma won’t love me anymore… because you’ll be too busy playing with him,” She looks over in her brother’s direction, not even wanting to say his name. “I bet he’ll get more cuddles than me.”

Your heart breaks at the fact that your daughter thinks you and Harry don’t have enough love in your heart for her and her baby brother. “Ally, come over here and lie next to Mumma,” you call out quietly. Harry picks her up and brings her over to you, laying her on your bed cautiously to make sure she doesn’t accidentally get tangled in any of your IV’s.

“Baby, there’s nothing and no one on this planet that could make me and Daddy love you any less. We have enough love in our hearts for you and Oliver. Do you understand?” You ask. She doesn’t say anything.

“D’ya wanna hold him?” Harry offers, looking at his mom and sister who have hopeful looks in their eyes. They know how difficult it’s been for Ally to accept a new sibling, as Anne and Gemma have both reassured you countless times when you’ve vented to them about it.

“I guess,” she mumbles, looking at her hands. Harry tries a different approach.

“I see yeh had a new bear in your hand when yeh walked in. Is that for your brother?” Ally looks at the bear that she had discarded on the chair and nods slowly.

“Auntie Gem got Mumma flowers, an’ grandma got balloons. So I wanted to get something too,” she tells him, looking between yours and Harry’s faces. He smiles widely at this and reaches to grab the bear.

“That’s so thoughtful of yeh, bug. See? You’re a natural big sister! Did Auntie Gem teach you some things when I wasn’t around?” Ally chuckles at this, playing with the stuffed animal’s legs. “Do yeh wanna hold him and give him the bear, Ally?”

She quickly nods, a noticeable shift in her mood. Harry tries to hide his excitement as he walks over to Oliver’s bassinet, who was now starting to wake up. He coos when Harry picks him up, and you’re relieved when he doesn’t burst into tears like he has been for the past few hours.

“Hold your arms like this,” you demonstrate for your daughter, situating her body next to you so she could hold her brother without hurting him. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Gemma pull out her phone and start recording.

“Ready for him?” Harry questions. Ally nods and Harry slowly places her brother in her arms. “Make sure yeh hold the back of his head, bug. Can’t let it dangle.” You help her readjust her hand placement to offer more support to Oliver’s head. Ally looks up, a dimpled smile on her face.

“He’s so little!” She exclaims, staring back down at him in awe. You and Harry look at each other, tears filling your eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

“He is, isn’t he?” You ask, quickly wiping under your eyes. Anne places her hand on your shoulder, looking down at her grandson with a look of pure adoration in her eyes.

“He’s beautiful,” she gushes, sounding slightly choked up. “He’s got eyes just like yours, Ally.” You see her smile at this, but she doesn’t look up, not wanting to stop staring at her new brother. She reaches carefully with the hand, not supporting her brother’s head to grab the stuffed bear she picked out for him, setting it next to him.

“This is for you, Olly,” she says, placing the bear beside him. “You can sleep with him every night!”

Harry glances at you again, a look of relief on his face. “Olly, is it, bug? He has a nickname just like yours,” he tells her, reaching over you to smooth her hair. “Ally and Olly. I like tha’.” Your heart is full, and your family is complete.

At least, for now.

#harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #dad!harry #harry styles fanfiction #jealousy #thanks for reading!

[jaskiersbrokenlute]

Lute’s 200 follower prompt list

(All based on song lyrics by Keaton Henson, amalgamated by yours truly)

Angst

1. Sweetheart, what have you done to us? 2. I’m sorry I broke it, never forgive me.  3. Tire of me if you will my dear, but I will not tire of you. 4. She broke my head, it’s been four years and this does not end.  5. If you must die, die knowing your life was my life’s best part.  6. I’m just as damn disappointed as you only I just do better to hide it.  7. I’m truly alone and I like it.  8. How can you sleep knowing, that you’d be much better off there with him.  9. This has been the best of me, I hope you end up missing me.  10. They’ll die or leave you either way.  11. ‘Did you love me like the way you wrote?’ ‘I’m afraid so.’ 12. How could I have known you were the air I breathe if I don’t believe in love? 13. What is good lust but love without trust? 14. I’m amazed that you ever loved me. 

15. She left him and he left everything.  16. Teach me how to love you like I wrote and say it like I mean it when I don’t 17. I’m a tough luck friend and I reckon she’ll stay with me ‘til the end. It means more than I pretend. 18. Is it love you regret? 19. Darling, your eyes are so still when you speak. Do they weep? 20. Please don’t cry or say goodbye.  21. Now that you’re all I have, is it fair to love me too? 22. Do you wake up lonely everyday? 23. Let’s just have this fight today, say I’m worthless and I feel betrayed.  24. Don’t leave I’ve got more to say.  25. You know one day there’ll be hell to pay.  26. Please don’t be home late.  27. I’ll be right here if you need a failure, my love.  28. And I’ll be the place you hate.  29. How can you fail me now that I’m here on the ground? 30. Tell me I’m worthy of something. Love at least.  31. I still don’t cry, I’ve been meaning to.  32. I’m hoping I don’t die after you.  33. I still need to be loved. 34. You’re enough.  35. I’m frightened to death you’ll forget. Don’t forget me.  36. She seems disappointed, when I say that I’m not happy yet.  37. When I say do you love me, say you don’t know.  38. Just don’t leave me, baby stay here.  39. I just can’t bear to be apart.  40. Be near me lover, and be another that I can’t please,  41. I’ve been so lonely.  42. How could you allow me to love you? How cruel a thing.  43. If you’d only come back now, I’d not let you down again.  44. I guess I could have been, a better man.  45. I seek comfort in being alone.  46. Does he know, not to talk about your dad? 47. Do you notice when you’re sad? 48. I don’t feel well, can’t you tell? 49. Please forget me, you were right dear. 50. Though I’ll miss you lover, I am weak and therefore fold.  51. This is love, this is hell, this sweet plague that follows me.  52. I feel love, I feel alone.  53. I just wish you would come home. 54. There’s no one else. I loved you more than I love myself.  55. I see pictures now of you two and it makes me sick.  56. Teach me how to hold you in my arms, without squeezing too damn tight and causing harm.  57. Give me lessons in your ways, but don’t expect me to change.  58. I never loved you enough. 59. Please do not hurt me love, I am a fragile one.  60. As we lie in bed I feel lonely. 61. I some ways I feel I do love you, babe I’m not in love with you.  62. I found her but now she is gone.  63. I was better where, I was miserable why didn’t you leave me there? 64. I love you, please don’t go.  65. Is this all that you can give me back? 66. If you’ve no more to say than that, oh well I’ll be leaving and I won’t come back.  67. You think you’re better than them, but they don’t have to pretend.  68. Believe me, this loneliness won’t go away.  69. I’m just getting started let me offend. 70. All I want is to be left alone.  71. Can you see, they feed you lies thus keeping you weak.  72. Leave me, my heart is dead for all to see.  73. Please just come here, don’t fight with me.  74. Don’t call me lover, it’s not enough.  75. After all you’ve put me through, this one’s for you.  76. I’m in bad love. Don’t feel sad love.  77. I love you, but I worry about letting you leave.  78. It leaves me pretty good at pretending I’m fine.  79. I’m saving you up, all for the day you leave.  80. I know it’s ending.  81. Speak up, I’m losing you.  82. Hate me to death if you must.  83. Am I waiting to lose you? 84. I’m just so fucking sorry that you’re afraid.  85. I’ve tried so long not to cry that I don’t know if I can when you die, But I’m sure as damn hell gonna try.  86. I’m afraid to let myself be frightened.  87. I’ll play until my fingers bleed just to get you out of me.  88. I’m afraid.  89. One day you’ll thank the lord I didn’t stay.  90. Bury it all down underneath, it’s unhealthy but it sure keeps all the pain out.  91. I’m so damn scared of dying without you.  92. I see the dark things you all try to hide.  93. I won’t give up, not until I’m holding you.  94. Don’t let go of my hand.  95. Your love’s leaving me loveless.  96. I won’t leave here until I’m back with you.  97. Please don’t let me sleep.  98. We can’t pretend that I’m just like him.  99. Lead me on, I just something to stop me from jumping the gun.  100. I’m not coming back without you.  101. I’d write you a song if you’d just break my heart.  102. I’m a sick kind of lover and I’m cruel to myself.  103. I’m a writer who’s nothing if he’s not in hell.  104. Mistreat me and put me through hell.  105. If I die before I reach you, please know I meant to love you until I did.  106. Tell my friends goodbye.  107. I loved her, and left her too soon.  108. I’m scared that you’ll know what to do if I die before you.  109. I didn’t dare earn their respect.  110. If I’m to die before I hold you, know my arms were the worse off for it.  111. I’m tired of feeling alone.  112. Please tell me how to let go.  113. Your book will end just fine, but I’m a different story.  114. When I get tired and eventually leave, I’ll get back on the road and leave you in peace.  115. I’m just hoping I wont miss you today.  116. It hurts more with every breath.  117. I’m all used, so there’ll be nothing left for you.  118. I am alone and I need you to be kind.  119. Do you have time to tell me pretty lies? 120. Maybe I didn’t treat you quite as good as I could have.  121.I didn’t love you as often as I could.  122. There are things I should have said and done, I just never took the time.  123. I made you feel second best.  124. I’m so sorry, I was blind.  125. Please don’t walk away. 

Fluff 

126. You love is the thing that I need to remind me I’m living.  127. I know that it’s hard for you to tell me the truth, but while we are doing so (name) I love you. 128. Miss you terribly already.  129. I still worry more about you.  130. You are infinitely interesting to me.  131. It was so unexpected, my heart’s unprotected.  132. I’m so thankful for the way you look at me.  133. You don’t like to be touched, let alone kissed. Does he know where your lips begin.  134. I wish I had the guts to say, you look the best today.  135. I’ll love you, if I don’t have to.  136. Why did she finally leave? Cause all you think of is me.  137. Despite the bad moods she never goes away.  138. I know every mark on your hand.  139. Come on baby, make me fall in love with you.  140. Would it be so bad?  141. I woke to find your tired arms around me.  142. I’ve still got songs in me yet.  143. Love, take it easy on me. I’m older now and I long to be twenty-three.  144. I’ll allow, my heart to get over you now.  145. I’ll be fine, and you’ll be alright.  146. You know me, I worry.  147. Can I get lost in you? 148. I haven’t many words to say,  I thought about you everyday.  149. I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine.  150. I’ll be your brother, I’ll be your lover. What do you need? 151. You’re the one that I love the most.  152. Love, I feel you know me better than most.  153. In spite of real distance we’ll always be close.  154. Something my soul needs, is you lying next to me.  155. Damn, I love you.  156. I’d kill just to watch as you’re sleeping.  157. Damn it, I’m calling you mine.  158. Work to leave some part of you on this earth.  159. Just live.  160. You’re kind and you’re beautiful too.  161. You seem to look through me, I wonder what you see.  162. I figure you love to read, don’t look for the fault, like me.  163. I wish I could wake at dawn, to see you without makeup on.  164. I feel I know your smile, like I saw it when I was a child.  165. I’d give you all I have.  166. I got addicted to us.  167. I wanna love you while I can.  168. I want to live with you until I die.  169. We’ll miss you to death when you go.  170. It seems like yesterday, you took my breath away.  171. Must you be leaving so soon? 172. I know you’re sad, sweetheart, but it will pass.  173. She was dear to you, so you cannot be blamed for feeling low.  174. If I could fix it then I would.  175. Come here, give me time to let you in.  176. I’m hoping you fall into me.  177. Here’s to us.  178. I would walk all the miles if you’d play your part.  179. Just love me and hold me, and then let me be.  180. I would love you forever.  181. Would you love me and leave me with something to write?  182. I would love you with all of my heart if I could.  183. I hope to be holding you soon.  184. I feel like I’m just what you need.  185. I don’t let anyone in, but I can’t help but let this begin.  186. You seem happy. I can tell.  187. Love, I know you’ll be alright.  188. I know I’m a mess and I love most people less.  189. They don’t love you like I love you.  190. Hold me tight in your arms.  191. Give me glimmers of hope.  192. Let me lay in your bed, talk of things you don’t know.  193. Just don’t fall for me.  194. I’m born everyday just to love you.  195. I was as far as I could be when I fell.  196. I’m looking for a lover who doesn’t need truth.  197. I need you.  198. Like the thickest moss, you grew on me.  199. It’s the worst parts of you I admire.  200. I have fought battles with nothing but words.  201. Tell me you’ll be mine.  203. How hard I’ve tried, love.  204. You were always on my mind.  205. I’m so happy that you’re mine.  206. Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died.  207. Give me one more chance to keep you.  208. Visit me everyday. 

Hurt/Comfort

209. I think I love you, please don’t be afraid of me.  210. I won’t sing ‘til you know me 211. Here’s to you you miserable fuck.  212. I’ve been thinking of leaving,  213. I’m gonna fuck all my plans.  214. I’m hoping I don’t die after you. 215. It is love, but I fear it won’t do.  216. Tell me what you want from me.  217. Was it really that worth writing about? 218. It’s a goddamn shame that you’re not here with me.  219. It won’t be long ‘til you know my songs, then you’ll know and you’ll come back.  220. How am I expected to behave, when I’m alone with myself everyday.  221. There’s a whole lot of nothing to me.  222. Please don’t wait up for me.  223. I’m afraid that’s lost on me.  224. I’ll write until there’s nothing left of me.  225. I’ll cry for help when I need it, thanks.  226. Are you still listening? 227. It may not just be tomorrow, it may be the rest of your life.  228. I’m deep undercover, i don’t look like me.  229. I win when you lose.  230. Darling, you’ve been my greatest defeat.  231. We cling with desperate fingers onto life.  232. I was starting on hoping you’d stay.  233. I don’t want to be the best.  234. I’m going to live if it kills me.  235. The world is unfair and it will not change.  236. I won't be the damndest bit fucking surprised.  237. The distance won’t comfort me for long.  238. Please don’t look at me.  239. How is the sex, love? I hope it’s the best part of him.  240. I struggle with stages and can’t take bad reviews.  241. I didn’t hold you all those long and lonely times.  242. I guess I never told you. 

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[naughtyneganjdm]

The Savior - Chapter 33

Summary: Negan reacts to Y/N being pregnant and he makes big decisions about the future of their relationship.

Characters: Negan, Reader (OC), Asher, Simon, etc.

Warnings: Swearing...not much to warn about

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995341/chapters/69188070

“So, he passed out because he was pregnant?” Negan heard the sound of Asher’s voice filling the room surrounding him as Negan’s eyes gradually fluttered to an open. His vision was somewhat blurry and he was still slowly, coming to, but there was no denying that Asher was talking and a lot. Negan could see that Asher was sitting in the corner of the room with Y/N while they were obviously waiting for him to wake up.

“No, he’s not pregnant,” Y/N cracked a smile and lowered her head into her hand. There were all kinds of amusement over her face at Asher’s question and it was cute how innocent he actually was. “I’m pregnant.”

“But with his baby?” Asher confirmed and Y/N nodded when she lifted her head to look at Asher again. “Why would he pass out from that? Isn’t that something to be happy about?”

“I think Negan has just been going through a lot lately,” she explained with a shrug of her shoulders. “Sometimes when we’ve had a lot of stress in our lives we pass out.”

“Oh man. Does that mean I might pass out one day?” Asher swiftly responded and Y/N was lost for words because Asher was taking every word so seriously. “I stress a lot…and I mean a lot.”

“It doesn’t happen to everyone,” Y/N tried to respond and it made Negan crack a smile from where he was laying on one of the evaluation tables at the doctor’s office. “Some of us can handle certain amounts of stress and I think you’re a strong little dude.”

“Oh, so you’re basically saying he’s a wimp then?” Asher’s head tilted to the side and Negan had to fight from laughing out while he closed his eyes again to let his body get accustomed to being awake again.

“Not exactly. Negan has had a lot of things happening to him lately and they just kind of piled up,” Y/N did her best to answer honestly, but with the way Asher was looking at her, she wasn’t sure that he was understanding completely. “Negan is a very strong person; I think the news about me being pregnant may have really surprised him.”

“Does you being pregnant mean I’m going to be a brother?” Asher spoke up again after thinking about everything Y/N was saying. “I mean, if Negan is my dad.”

“That’s exactly what that means,” she nodded and a smile spread out over Asher’s young features. “Would you like to be a brother?”

“I always wanted to be a big brother. You can have a best friend and a sibling at the same time. I’d like that,” Asher explained with a simple shrug of his shoulders. “I think I’d make a good big brother. Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Y/N answered knowing that she had answered about a million questions since Negan had passed out, but she didn’t mind. This was obviously something new for Asher and she was doing her best to try to keep him in on what was going on.

While it was cute listening to Y/N trying to explain things to Asher, Negan realized she could probably use some help with all of this. Leaving her alone with Asher wasn’t fair. Attempting to get up, Negan let out a groan when he felt a pressure in his head which immediately got the attention of both Y/N and Asher. Y/N quickly got to her feet and she moved in beside Negan to brush her fingers through his thick, dark hair.

“He’s up!” Asher yelled making both Y/N and Negan jump when Asher opened the door to alert the doctors. Negan looked beyond Y/N and saw Asher running up beside the table. “They told us to tell them when you woke up.”

“I’m pretty sure they didn’t tell you to scream it bud,” Negan chuckled, reaching up to pinch at the bridge of his nose when there was an unavoidable headache causing pressure in his head. “You can’t be rude.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Asher’s worried eyes looked Negan over and Asher reached for the doctor’s chair that was in the corner of the room. He dragged it across the room so he could be level with Negan when he hopped up. “You fell…hard.”

“I guess I did, huh?” Negan saw Y/N’s worried eyes on him and he cracked a smile. “I’m feeling it.”

“Is it because you are old?” Asher made both Y/N and Negan laugh at his response, but Asher was obviously confused why it was so funny. “I’m being serious.”

“Probably,” Negan groaned, attempting to pull himself up and Y/N helped him into a seated position so he didn’t fall over.

“You know you said the word shit right before you passed out,” Asher pointed out and Negan cracked a smile. “Shit! Then…just…boom! You were down.”

“Just like that, huh?” Negan managed to smirk even though the room was still somewhat spinning around him.

“I am so glad I took that test first because if I would have seen you do it and then you fainted…” Asher let out a dramatic sound making Negan unavoidably smile again. “I would have never let that swab near my cheek.”

“It wasn’t the test,” Negan assured Asher seeing his doctor moving down the hallway toward the room they were in. “Let the doc have his seat buddy.”

“No problem,” Asher hopped down and moved toward the corner of the room. “Sorry for yelling.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” the doctor looked to Asher with a half-smile. Moving in beside Negan, he did a few things to check on Negan before Negan dismissively waved his hand in the air to suggest the doctor move along. “How are we feeling Negan?”

“I’m fine doc,” Negan assured him with a heavy sigh. “I think we know why I passed out.”  

Negan’s hazel eyes glanced up and met Y/N’s nervous stare. His eyes were locked on hers for a moment before he pulled his stare away from her to rub at the side of his face.

“Hey Asher, do want to go pick out a sticker and maybe some candy from the front desk?” the doctor suggested so he could let Y/N and Negan have some time alone together for a few moments. They probably needed it after he spoke up about something he really shouldn’t have said. It would have been hard for the two of them to talk while Asher was around, so the doctor wanted to make sure they had space for a few minutes. “They can show you what they do up there. Maybe they can give you a tour of the office.”

“Sure, I guess…” Asher looked to Negan to make sure it was okay. “Can I do that?”

“Go ahead,” Negan saw the way the doctor was looking between the two of them and Asher quickly followed the doctor out of the evaluation room. The doctor closed the door behind him, leaving Y/N and Negan alone together. There was a silence that fell between them and Negan lifted his head to look up at Y/N. “So, you’re pregnant, huh?”

“I’m so sorry,” she immediately apologized with a long, tense sigh. “There were so many times that I wanted to tell you; so many times that I tried to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Negan looked toward her stomach and he damned himself for not paying more attention to things. How did he not realize that she was pregnant after all of this time? “You’ve known since I was in the hospital that you were pregnant. Do you know how long ago that was?”

“Negan, the day I found out I was pregnant you broke up with me,” she admitted and she whimpered thinking about it. “I thought you would be so mad at me for it. I didn’t know how to tell you. I tried so many times, but it was a mistake on my end. When I had my concussion, I kept forgetting things. I was stressed and I just…I forgot about my birth control pills. I would think I took them, but then I wasn’t sure and I just forgot. It’s my fault that this happened…”

“You should have just told me that day we broke up. Things may have been fixed a whole lot sooner if I would have known you were carrying my child,” Negan insisted with a frown, looking her over while trying to understand why she kept it from him. “I wouldn’t have been mad at you. I would have understood then why you were so…”

“Bitchy at that party?” she filled in the blank and Negan gave her an uncomfortable expression. “I was. I was such an asshole at that party. I treated you in ways I never should have. I said things that were awful and I’m sorry. Maybe it was the aftereffects of me having the concussion or maybe I was just moody because I was pregnant. Either way, I was an asshole and I was scared when I found out I was pregnant. You deserved so much more than me.”

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” Negan immediately replied, his voice rasp as he spoke “Yeah, I mean we could have a better situation on our hands and some people might not agree with the age difference, but you’re everything to me. You should have known that. You should always know that. I’m a fucking fool for you.”

“Negan,” she felt her eyes tearing over and Negan reached to pull her down to him so he could kiss her. It was slow, faint and just all around felt good to have. “I just messed up. First at the party and then with the pregnancy.”

“It’s okay,” Negan tried to convince her, his warm breath pressing against her lips and it caused her to shudder. “I would have liked to have known earlier about the pregnancy…”

“You kept stressing about things and I just thought it would be another pressure that you couldn’t deal with,” she explained feeling the tears that were sliding down her face after her confession. “For a while with us broken up, I almost considered getting an abortion.”

“Well I’m fucking glad you didn’t do it,” Negan reached out to grab a hold of her hands in his supportively. The tender squeeze of his fingers around hers made her feel better as his own eyes teared over while looking up at her. “Was I really so bad that you thought you had to get an abortion?”

“I didn’t know what to do Negan. We were broken up. I’m young…and I knew that I couldn’t take care of a baby on my own if we weren’t together,” she tried to think about the thoughts going through her mind when she found out she was pregnant. “I wanted to tell you about it so bad, but things at school were happening and then you wanted this college job so terribly. I didn’t think it was a great time to tell you.”

“Yeah, thinking about the past I can think of several times where I should have figured it out that you were pregnant. I know you tried to tell me and thinking about it now makes it rather obvious,” Negan tilted his head to the side and squeezed her hands tighter in his. Negan brought her hands up to him and pressed a few stray kisses over the back of her hands.

“I just felt so bad because it happened over my negligence Negan. We broke up. We got back together. You talked about how bad the idea of us having a child would be when we got engaged,” she thought back to the moment she brought up having kids to him originally.

“Okay, but you have to realize that wasn’t me saying that I didn’t want to have a baby with you. I just didn’t want you to ruin your life for me to be happy,” Negan muttered with a shake of his head, hating that she thought he wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby with her. “If we had a child, I wanted you to have it not because I wanted one, but…”

“Well the world decided we are having a baby,” she interrupted him and Negan’s thick eyebrows bounced up when he looked her over. “I’m sorry if you are upset with me and recently, I’ve tried to come up with the perfect way to tell you. I have this gift that I never got to give you, but…I wanted to make it special once I knew we were okay. Shit just kept piling on and on…the night you showed up with Asher I had planned to set the present out on the bed for you to find. You just, had the surprise of Asher dropped on you and I thought it would be bad to say it then.”

“I’m not upset with you. I’m more so upset with me over the fact that I let you think you couldn’t tell me,” Negan released one of her hands and lowered his palm down to press his palm in over her abdomen. “So, there is a baby in there, huh?”

“Yeah,” her bottom lip quivered with the sensation of Negan caressing over her abdomen. After a moment he leaned forward and rest his head against her abdomen. With the feeling of Negan cuddling against her stomach it made her realize that everything was going to be okay. Brushing her fingers through Negan’s hair, she took her time to appreciate the moment.

“Well this is certainly something new,” Negan’s deep voice filled the air and she saw him raise his head. He was crying and she could see that he seemed to be genuinely happy. It shocked her when Negan got up from the table and reached out to pull her into his arms for a strong hug. “I love you…so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” she repeated his words as he slid his hands up to cup her face in them tenderly. The soft pull of Negan’s hands urged her to his lips so he could kiss her over and over again. Breaking away breathlessly, she rest her forehead against his and Negan smiled brightly. “You’re okay with this?”

“Sweetheart, I’m more than okay with this,” Negan promised her with a wink, his words coming out broken from being emotional over the news. “We are going to have such a beautiful child and it is going to be so fucking loved.”

Negan dropped to his knees making her heart fluttered in her chest as he pressed a loving kiss over her abdomen. The soft peppering of his kisses made her realize all over again how lucky she was to have Negan.

“Are you guys okay?” Asher’s voice filled the room when the door pushed open. Negan looked over his shoulder at Asher as he stopped in the doorway with a sucker in his mouth. “You’re both crying.”

“I’m just happy,” Negan answered with a proud smile. “That’s all.”

“About the baby?” Asher confirmed with a slur from the candy he had and Negan nodded. Y/N brushed her fingers through Negan’s hair tenderly as Negan waved Asher in closer to them. Negan pulled Asher in close and hugged him making Asher let out a surprised sound. “Should I be crying?”

“No sweetheart,” Y/N chuckled at Asher’s response while Negan held onto the both of them. “Negan and I are just happy.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Asher looked between the two of them with a big smile. “When are you having the baby?”

“Not for a while sweetheart,” Y/N answered as Negan slowly released Asher from his hug. Asher moved toward the other side of the office to take a seat looking out at them with big eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Asher begged and without question Negan nodded. “Where do babies come from exactly?”

“Uhhhh…” Negan’s face went blank as he looked up at Y/N who shrugged her shoulders. That wasn’t what Negan was expecting, at all. Dropping his head, Negan attempted to think of something and he let out a long, shallow exhale. “Well…when the world decides that two people love each other enough, it decides to put a baby inside the mommy.”

“So, you and mom loved each other when I was made?” Asher’s face scrunched up and he seemed confused with Negan’s answer. Y/N could see Negan grimacing when Asher said that. “It’s kind of just like…magic?”

“Yeah, it’s magic,” Negan immediately nodded, snapping his fingers. “Your mom and I didn’t know each other enough to love each other, but the world decided that it was desperate to have you so it brought us together.”

“So, like the sex stuff?” Asher stammered and Negan groaned, resting his forehead again Y/N’s abdomen. A laugh fell from Negan’s throat and Asher shrugged. Asher didn’t understand why the sex question stressed Negan out so much, but it was really hard on Negan every time Asher mentioned it.

“A baby is made when two people feel a strong emotional connection. We’re all made of cells. When two people like each other enough, they share their cells. When those cells combine, they make a baby,” Y/N thought of the best way to explain everything to Asher in an appropriate way. Maybe it was more complicated than she could have made it, but she was attempting to her best to have it make sense to the little boy before them. “Negan and your mother knew that the world needed you, so they combined their cells to have you.”

“Oh,” Asher pulled the sucker from his mouth and pointed at Y/N while keeping his eyes hooked on Negan’s. “She made more sense.”

“Sounds typical,” Negan looked up at Y/N from where he was on his knees and she reached out to caress over the side of his face. Negan’s eyes closed and he leaned into her touch, cherishing the caress.

“I always wanted to be a big brother,” Asher announced moving to the other side of the room to take a seat again after he threw out the stick to his finished sucker. “A little brother would be cool, then I have someone to play with, but if it is a little girl would be cool too. Then I can protect her. Keep her safe.”

“Come here sweetheart,” Y/N waved Asher on while he stared out at them. Asher quickly ran from his seat and she urged him into a hug as well. “I know this is a lot to put on you. You just got here and the idea of a new baby might be hard since you are just getting used to Negan.”

“No, it’s cool. I’m excited,” Asher insisted with a shake of his head. A big smile fell upon his lips when Negan fixed his hair that was messed in their group hug. “That baby and I will be learning about Negan at the same time. I’m okay with that. Well, if Negan is my dad.”

“I’m your dad,” Negan immediately insisted and Asher’s head tipped to the side when confusion flooded his young features. Negan swallowed down hard and looked at Y/N with a determined glance.

“Did the test come back already? Dang, that’s fast!” Asher exclaimed with an impressed noise. “I didn’t think it’d be that fast.”

“No,” Negan snickered, lowering his head. His dimples sucked in and he reached out to hook his arms around Asher. Standing up carefully, Negan made sure that he wouldn’t pass out while he held Asher in his arms so he made sure to brace himself and be slow. “I’m your father Asher.”

“But…” Asher’s face twisted with doubt.

“I’ve really enjoyed having you here with us,” Negan informed Asher with a heavy breath. “I’ve had two miracles fall into my lap out recently and I’m not going to let the first fall through my fingers. I’m going to spend every minute I can making it up to you with the time I missed out on being in your life. You are my family. I promise to always protect you. I don’t care what a stupid test says. You’re my son.”

“Really?” Asher’s eyes started to swell over with tears and Y/N let out an involuntary sound that showed she was getting emotional listening to the two of them.

“Really,” Negan nodded his head and Asher eagerly wrapped his arms around Negan’s shoulders to hug him tight. “Y/N and the baby will be part of your family too though…”

“It’s okay,” Asher pulled back enough to wipe at his face to try to push the tears away. “It’s like a family. Like a real family. I always wanted one of those.”

“Oh, honey,” she could see Asher starting to cry again and she stepped forward to brush her fingers through Asher’s hair. “You already are our family.”

“I didn’t mean to make you cry buddy,” Negan admitted, reaching up with his free hand to palm in over the side of Asher’s face.

“I’m just happy,” Asher announced reaching for Y/N so he could wrap one of his arms around her neck to pull her in closer to him and Negan while Negan held him. “Now we can all cry over the baby together.”

“Sounds good buddy,” Negan snickered, looking at Y/N who seemed to be just as in awe of Asher. “I think we should leave soon. The doctor is going to need his room back.”

They talked for a little bit longer before leaving and they had a nice night with Asher. They took him out to dinner after since he had to go through everything that he did with the DNA test. They ended the night by having a bonfire on the beach. Asher was laying in the sad staring at the stars while Negan and Y/N sat on the same chair stretched out. Negan’s arms were wrapped around her tightly while she laid back against his chest and he let out a long sigh.

“Are you sure you are okay with taking on the job of being that boy’s step-mom?” Negan whispered against the side of her neck and he felt her hands squeezing tightly to his. “I know that’s a lot to throw on you. I should have confirmed everything was okay with you…”

“I love him too Negan,” she confessed hearing Negan’s breath get caught in this throat when she said that. “He’s a sweet boy and he deserves a happy life. If he’s part of you, I’ll love him like he’s my own. We both know what it was like to go through life being abused. I would never want that for another child.”

“You are everything I’ve ever wanted and more. You know that?” Negan’s nose nuzzled against the side of her neck before he deposited small kisses over her skin. “I just didn’t mean for this to fall on you so suddenly. I know you are going through just as much as I am, if not more.”

“As long as I’m with you to figure all of this out, I will be perfectly fine,” she turned her head enough to meet his stare. Negan leaned forward to meet her lips in a long, lingering kiss making her hum against the motion. “I can’t think of a person I would rather spend my life with.”

“You’re adorable,” Negan whispered, his right hand sliding down to palm in over her lower abdomen. There was a sense of happiness that filled him when he knew that his baby was growing inside of her. “I can’t believe we made this.”

“I can,” she teased thinking back to how much they slept together in the past and Negan rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying Negan, it’s easy to believe it happened when we were always...”

“I just mean that it is fucking incredible,” Negan replied, teasingly biting at the side of her neck making her laugh. She swatted at his arm and it made him snicker. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“We’re going to have a baby,” she repeated with a small nod. “This is going to be a lot of work, but I’m willing to take it on.”

“And I’m not going to miss out on it one bit,” Negan promised, pressing kisses continuously over the side of her face, toward her jawline. “I’m going to be every bit as part of this baby’s life as I possibly can.”

“I would expect nothing less from you,” she replied with a smile, feeling his short beard tickling at her skin. “Asher will help us learn what having a child will be like though.”

“Asher already thinks you’re doing better than anyone else he’s been around,” Asher spoke up, lifting his head from where he was laying in the sand. It made them both laugh and Asher cracked a big, goofy grin.

“We can use a lot of work,” Negan confessed, laughing against the side of Y/N’s neck while he held her tightly to him. It felt nice just to have a quiet moment like this with his family. Holding Y/N in his arms and having Asher with them just felt right. Thinking things over, he let the silence between them give him some time to think before he finally cleared his throat and spoke up. “Hey Asher, have you ever been to a wedding?”

“I…don’t…think so?” Asher thought long and hard about what Negan asked him. “Why?”

“I was thinking of marrying Y/N this weekend. Would you be okay with that?” Negan muttered and he saw the way that Y/N turned to look at him with a surprised expression. “Would you want to be part of the wedding?”

“Seriously?” Y/N seemed surprised that Negan said that. “That’s…fast.”

“We’ll have Simon come up to be our witness with marriage. Someone in town can do the wedding for us. We can fill out the paperwork and just have it be us,” Negan suggested and she was speechless. Asher pulled himself up from the sand and moved over toward the chair that Negan and Y/N were sitting on together. He sat at the bottom by their feet and he had a big grin over his young features. “Is that a no?”

“It’s a yes,” Asher spoke up for her and Negan snorted.

“You can’t speak for her buddy,” Negan felt Y/N shifting against him and it pulled his hazel eyes to hers again.

“Asher is right. My answer is yes. I just want to be sure that’s something you really want. You don’t feel forced into wanting to marry me because you found out about the baby, right?” Y/N was just unsure that this was what Negan really wanted. Of course, she wanted to be with Negan. The idea of it caused her heart to hammer inside of her chest and a chill was running down her spine. Being able to spend forever with Negan sounded like a dream come true to her.

“Baby, you know I’ve wanted to marry you for quite some time now,” Negan reminded her, reaching out to slide his rough palm in over the side of her face to draw her near him. “I’m just sick of not living life the way I want to. Life has been hard enough. If we keep waiting to do the things in life we want, who knows what tomorrow will bring?”

“He’s got a point,” Asher piped in and it made the both of them giggle. “He does!”

“Thanks buddy,” Negan winked at Asher before pulling his attention back to Y/N. “So, what do you say? Are you okay with marrying this old guy?”

“You’re not old,” she chuckled, brushing her fingers through his thick hair. “Of course I want to marry you. I already said yes. I want to be with you Negan. Today, tomorrow…and forever. So, if you want to do this, I’m all in.”

“Yes!” Asher boasted hopping up from the chair and his excitement amused the both of them. “We’re going to have a wedding. What are we going to do?”

“Well, most weddings are usually pretty big, but this one is going to be small. We’re going to get married, then maybe have a night of celebrating. What do you think?” Negan suggested with a simple shrug. This wouldn’t be like typical weddings that Asher might see in the future, but it would let Asher understand the concept of marriage.

“I’m down,” Asher responded with a simple shrug and it made Negan smile again. If there was one thing about Asher, he could definitely say is that Asher was constantly making him laugh and smile. That was something that surprised Negan, but he liked it. Asher was a sweet kid and it was great getting to see his reactions to the world around him.

“I was thinking we could do it at the lighthouse,” Negan urged Y/N to look at him when he thought about getting married. “You know? The one that we were at when I gave you this…”

Negan reached out to grab the necklace he had given her at the beginning of their relationship. Her eyes lowered to look at it and he could see that her eyes were tearing over and he shifted on the seat uncomfortably. Y/N raised her hand to clasp it softly over his while he held onto the necklace.

“Sweetheart?” Negan leaned in, his eyes hooking with hers while his free hand slid in underneath her jaw to urge her to look at him. “What is it?”

“I’m just happy. For so long I thought things would just turn out…bad,” she admitted and Negan frowned. “I never thought happiness could be something that I would be able to feel, but you…you make me so happy. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”

“You make me the best version of myself,” Negan hushed her in a soft whisper before meeting her lips in a lengthy, drawn out kiss. When she pulled away from it, she rest her forehead against his and they could feel Asher moving in beside them.

“You know, I finally get it,” Asher’s voice filled the air beside them and they looked to see that he was staring at their arms where their tattoos were. “I’ve spent a lot of time looking at these and they are so cool, but now I finally get it.”

“Get what sweetheart?” Y/N reached out to brush her fingers in over Asher’s hair to smooth it out after it had gotten messy from laying in the sand.

“Your tattoos, they match,” Asher reached out to grab their arms and they allowed him to bring the designs together. “Negan has the heart key and you have the heart lock. Negan holds the key to your heart. It’s really romantic.”

Negan laughed and leaned forward to pull Asher into his arms making the small boy giggle, “I’m glad you think it’s romantic.”

“I should get a tattoo,” Asher breathed out in a long, dramatic sound. “I’d look super cool.”

“Talk to me when you are eighteen,” Negan squeezed over Asher’s shoulder hearing the sound of disappointment fill the air.

“But you look super cool with all the tattoos,” Asher insisted and Negan shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s worth waiting to find the right thing,” Y/N looked to her tattoo knowing that at first it was something she wasn’t exceedingly proud of, but now looking back on it she was glad to have it. It was a design that Negan had made specifically himself and Asher was right. Negan did hold the key to her heart. She liked having something that would tie her and Negan together for life. “I’m super happy to have waited to get mine.”

“And you designed these?” Asher reached for Negan’s arm when he curled in beside Negan and Y/N on the chair. It was a tight fit, but oddly it felt right being like this. Asher’s head rest against Negan’s chest while he traced his fingers over the art.

“I did,” Negan answered finding himself enamored with the little boy beside him who had nothing, but awe for the tattoo over his arm.

“Yeah, I’d let you make mine if I ever got one. You’re so awesome,” Asher slowly lowered Negan’s arm back down after surveying the tattoo closely. There was a silence between all of them for a moment before Asher cleared his throat. “Are you sure you want me at your wedding?”

“Why wouldn’t we sweetheart?” Y/N reached for Asher’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “You’re our family.”

“But what if Negan isn’t my dad?” Asher looked up at Negan and he swallowed down hard. “Won’t it be weird?”

“Asher, you’re my son. I already told you that,” Negan insisted with a shake of his head. “You’re my family now. You belong with us and I couldn’t imagine having my wedding without you. You’ve brought a lot of joy to my life. You’re an amazing boy.”

“Thank you,” Asher’s big eyes looked between the both of them before he lowered his head against Negan’s chest again. They got comfortable together and it wasn’t long before Asher had fallen asleep over him.

“Sherry made a mistake leaving this boy with me,” Negan squeezed his arm tighter around Y/N while his other hand stroked over the back of Asher’s neck, “because now I never want to let him go.”

“I know,” Y/N looked up to see the way that Negan was looking at the little boy that was sleeping on him. “It’s okay to love him Negan. You know that, right?”

“You’re absolutely sure that you are okay with all of this? I know you told me that you were going to take a little bit away from school while you were pregnant, but this is a lot to take on. Having a baby and taking care of a seven years old will be hard,” Negan’s bottom lip trembled slightly when he finally met her stare after looking away from Asher. “I don’t want to force you into this…”

“You’re my partner, for life,” she answered with a tired sigh. “We’ll take this on…together. I promise you will always have me by your side.”

“I love you,” Negan mumbled managing to lift his head enough to meet her lips in a sweet kiss that made her appreciate moments like these. Knowing that she was going to be married to him made the moment all the sweeter. It was guaranteed that she would have more moments like this with Negan and she looked forward to every minute she would spend with him in the future.

---

Days had passed since Negan had decided that they were going to get married and they had done a ton of things in order to get prepared. Y/N never realized really how much work getting married actually was. Thankfully Negan knew what to do because she would have been quite lost getting everything together in such a short amount of time if it was all on her.

Shifting in bed, she could hear that Negan was already awake and downstairs likely cooking breakfast for both her and Asher. Today was supposed to be the day that Negan picked out his clothes for their wedding while she picked her dress. It was hard to imagine that they would be getting married so soon, but she was nervous. Not nervous in a way that she was scared, but in a way that she was excited. Negan was everything she had ever wanted in life and the fact he was going to be hers made her so joyful.

The pans clanked together downstairs and instead of making Negan cook everything alone, she got up to move downstairs to try and help him. When she got downstairs, she could see that breakfast was already on the table ready, but Negan was standing by the island in the middle of the kitchen staring at something.

“Baby?” she stepped forward and Negan’s eyes pulled from the envelope to look at her. There was a serious expression over his face and she couldn’t quite read what was wrong. “What is it?”

Negan held up the envelope to show her what it was. It was the results from the DNA test that Negan had done to see if Asher was his son. It was still closed and she could see that Negan was uncomfortable while looking it over.

“Y/N,” Negan spoke softly, his eyes lingering over the envelope. So many things had been going through his mind since the moment that Asher had been dropped into his life and now that he had the answer if Asher was his son or not in his hand, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know it. “Am I bad for not wanting to open this?”

Y/N tilted her head to the side and she clearly didn’t know what to say to that, “Why would that make you bad?”

“I just…when Sherry showed up and dropped him on my lap, I was so stressed. I thought great, this is another obstacle in my life that I just wasn’t prepared for,” Negan began, the stress in his body flooding throughout it and he let out a tremoring breath. “At first I was so eager to prove this boy wasn’t my son. That I would have never slept around like…that…being married to Lucille. I was so convinced that I was careful and that I would have never put my marriage in jeopardy that way. I thought it would be a quick thing. He’s not my son and then boom, he’s out of my life and we could focus on our lives together.”

Negan fell back against the counter, leaving the envelope on top of the island while he reached up to rub at the sides of his face in a strained manner, “but after spending time with that boy, I’ve realized I want him to be my son. I want to be able to save him and keep him here with us. I want to give him the life that I never had. We’ve had him for such a short time, but it feels like he was meant to be here. That he’s been part of my family for so long.”

“I know you love him,” Y/N acknowledged, stepping forward to supportively caress in over Negan’s arm. “I don’t doubt that.”

“In my mind, that boy is already my son,” Negan insisted, swallowing down hard. His eyes were tearing over and he reached out to pull Y/N in closer to hold her in his arms. Negan’s nose nuzzled against the side of her neck and she brushed her fingers in over the base of his neck in a comforting caress. “I don’t need a paper to tell me that he is my son.”

“Then pretend it never came,” she pressed a loving kiss against Negan’s jawline, peppering the soft kisses over his skin. “We can put the envelope away and just go forward knowing that Asher is your son.”

“And you are okay with that?” Negan confirmed, pulling back slow enough to make eye contact with her. For some reason he felt like he needed her confirmation and he saw her head tilt to the side.

“Asher is our family,” Y/N moved forward to grab the envelope to hand to Negan, “We don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that. You’ve decided that you are going to fight for that boy and love him the way he deserves to be loved. I support any decision that you make.”

“I love you,” Negan slurred reaching for her to pull her into him again. Negan held her until he heard the sound of footsteps moving down the stairs and he quickly took the envelope and hid it somewhere. When Asher groggily moved into the kitchen still wearing his pajamas, Negan offered up a wide happy smile. “Hey there champ.”

“Is breakfast ready?” Asher excitedly moved to the table when he saw the set up that Negan had for them. He eagerly hopped up into his seat and Negan urged Y/N toward the table to have breakfast. “You make the best breakfasts.”

Each meal Asher had felt like it was exceedingly special for him every day. The boy hadn’t had special things most of his life and being with Negan felt like a present to him every time he experienced something he wasn’t used to. Being able to see the joy that Asher had while being with Negan was almost a present in itself for Y/N. Negan made Asher so happy and it was nice to see. They had already prepared to have Asher be in their life and Y/N was going to back Negan’s decision no matter what with Asher.

They finished their breakfast and then headed out to the shops at the local town to find their outfits for the wedding. She was in the dress shop and having a hard time picking the dress she really wanted. This wasn’t really something she had looked into and she didn’t know what really looked all that great on her. Heck, she was pregnant and she didn’t know if her being pregnant made the dresses look worse on her.

Stepping in front of one of the mirrors, she looked at herself and let out a long sigh.

“That is so not your style,” Y/N heard a familiar voice behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see Simon standing behind her wearing a pair of sunglasses. Slowly, he pulled his sunglasses from his face and looked her over in a dramatic, playful scrutinizing look. “No dear, we need to find something that brightens the whole room as soon as you step out wearing it.”

“Hey, you,” she eagerly stepped forward to wrap her arms around Simon’s shoulders to pull him in close for a tight hug. “I’m so pleased to see you.”

“I’m so excited to see you too,” Simon pulled her to his chest and it made her feet pull from the ground causing a laugh fell from her throat. “So, you’re getting married to the big man, huh?”

“I am,” she felt him carefully putting her back down on her feet and she braced her hands against his chest. “How did you find me?”

“I went to see Negan and the little dude first,” Simon responded, hooking his glasses to the collar of his shirt. “They were deep in finding something they liked, so I figured I would come and check in on you. You need someone with you more I think to help you.”

“Well, I could use someone’s opinion,” she admitted knowing that she wasn’t really looking in the right areas for dresses. “I don’t know what Negan likes…”

“It’s not about what Negan likes. It’s about what you like because I promise you the moment that Negan sees you walking to him with whatever dress you decide to put on…he’s going to be a crying mess,” Simon assured her, looking at the dresses that were around them. “So, we’re having a wedding on the beach. My suggestion would be to go with something that doesn’t turn you into a sweat pit. So maybe take a look at…”

Y/N watched Simon picking a few things off the racks and she felt him handing them over to her. An amused sound fell from her throat when he eagerly skimmed the racks, “How are you so knowledgeable here?”

“You’d be surprised what I watch on television late at night when I’m bored,” Simon announced and he urged another dress over to her to carry. It was starting to get heavy with how many he handed over to her, but she was thrilled to have him here to help her. As soon as Simon showed up, the mood definitely lifted for her. “Let’s try a few of those on and see if one of them is the right dress for you.”  

Doing as she was told, she put one of the dresses on and then came out where Simon was waiting to see it. When she came out, Simon tilted his head to the side and urged her to step forward. Simon stood from where he was seated and moved in behind her where she could look at herself in the mirrors that were put up.

“Simon…am I slut for getting married while pregnant?” she randomly blurt out and Simon laughed at the unpredictability of it.  “It’s not funny. I’m serious. Will my child look back on my wedding and see that I was pregnant with them and think my mother was a slut?”

“Of course you are dear,” Simon snickered when she brought her elbow back to hit him in the chest. It made him laugh and he shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just fucking with you. I think you need to stop worrying about the silly things in life. You are getting everything you’ve ever wanted and you are marrying a man that is just as in love with you as you are him. You’re not a slut. Your child is going to look back in the future at your photos and be completely nauseated because they will be irritated with how much you and Negan love each other.”

“See, this is why I missed you,” she felt Simon kissing over her cheek and she let out a loud sigh. “It’s always nice having you around.”

“Don’t tell me that because I might start to come over and not leave now that I know the area you guys live in,” Simon teased her and urged her back toward the changing room.

“You could try, but Negan has been looking for places for us to move,” Y/N reminded Simon with an arch of her eyebrow. Simon dramatically rolled his eyes before waving his hand in the air for her to carry on.

“I think we know the dress you are in right now isn’t the right one,” Simon immediately changed the subject and his energy made her smile. “Let’s find you the right one before sundown.”

Finding a dress was exceedingly hard. Y/N never really thought she would be someone that was picky when it came to picking dresses, but now that she was in the situation, she founded herself scrutinizing the littlest things. Maybe it was Simon helping her that made it worse though because he definitely had something to say if he didn’t like the style of the dress. Even though it was taking a while, she was glad to have him there because at least he was brutally honest with her and that’s what she needed.

They went through most of the dresses that Simon had grabbed for her and she figured they were coming up empty handed. There were three dresses left and while she was in the dressing room she truly wondered if they would find something that she actually liked.

Then again, the moment she walked out in this dress she saw something in Simon’s eyes that she hadn’t quite seen before. He perked up when he saw her walk out and when she stepped before the mirrors to look, she understood his reaction. Simon quickly got up from the couch he was on to move in beside her. When they both looked at it, she could tell this was the one. It was perfect. It looked and felt perfect which she never thought would be something they would be able to find. Simon didn’t have a negative comment and that alone told her this was right. She was actually in awe of the dress and happy that she hadn’t given up yet.

“Yup, I think you found it,” Simon alerted, reaching up to gently squeeze over her shoulders in a supportive grasp. “This…this is it. You are fucking beautiful in that. It is going to take Negan’s breath away when he sees you in that.”

“You think?” she took in a long shallow breath, picturing what it would be like standing beside Negan while getting married to him. “Is it bad to be nervous?”

“Getting married is a very…big thing. I would be a nervous wreck if I was you with all I was taking on right now,” Simon insisted with a simple shrug. “You’re pregnant, you just became a step-mom and you’re getting married. That’s a lot to deal with, but you are one of the strongest people I know. You’ve got this.”

Simon wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she was glad to have him there. Simon was the one person in life that made her feel comfortable in this world beyond Negan and having him there to help her made things so much more comfortable. In a strange way, she looked up to Simon in a fatherly way. Simon was the one source of wisdom she could look to in life. When things were going wrong, she could turn to him for help. When her and Negan were both lost in their own minds when they were broken up, Simon was the one still fighting for the both of them. They were lucky to have Simon in their lives and Y/N felt blessed that she was able to connect with him in the way she had.

“You are such a bad ass and I know you are going to take this all on headfirst, but you are going to come out on top of this. I promise you that,” Simon whispered, leaning in to press a kiss against her temple before letting out a long sigh. “You promise not to get mad at me if I tell you something?”

“How can I promise that when you haven’t told me what it is?” she muttered with a nervous sound. “You kind of have to tell me what it is first.”

“Well, I brought my kids with me today. The thing is…they are roaming the town with my wife,” Simon explained, his brow line creasing when he spoke. “Which means I told my wife about you and Negan. I couldn’t avoid it. She wanted to know where I was going and when I told her that I was going to a wedding, she kind of pulled it out of me.”

“If I was still in school and hadn’t graduated or Negan was still working there, I would have been a little bit more tense than I am,” she simply shrugged knowing that it didn’t really bother her to know that Simon’s wife knew. Most people would find out eventually anyways so why would they even bother hiding this anymore? “Was she okay with it?”

“At first? No, but when she found out you were pregnant, yes,” Simon muttered with a head tilt. “So, if she gives Negan a little attitude while she is here, don’t worry about it being toward you. She loves you. She’s just a little…irritated with Negan and me.”

“As long as she doesn’t mess up the wedding, then I’m fine,” Y/N could care less if someone didn’t approve of her relationship with Negan. On the outside it probably looked bad, but in Negan she was able to find someone that made her feel special for the first time in her life. They were the same kind of person and they understood each other. They balanced each other out. Y/N and Negan both came from abusive pasts and they were able to fix each other. “Asher will be so excited to have kids to play with though. He’s going to be pumped to be around your children.”

“You’re really okay with that little boy being here, huh?” Simon moved back toward the couch where he was sitting previously. He dropped down with a grunt and stretched his long legs out to get comfortable. “You’re still young yourself, you know? Taking care of a seven-year-old while having a baby is going to be hard.”

“I had to grow up fast,” she turned to Simon and moved in beside him on the couch. “I also know what it was like to grow up in an abusive family. You should hear half the things that poor boy has gone through. The time Negan and I have spent with him…it’s been very special.”

“And just like that you are okay with being step mama?” Simon repeated and she nodded.

“Yeah, I am,” she answered truthfully knowing that Asher was a shocking surprise addition to their family, but she liked having him around. “Negan loves him and if I can do anything to help make that little boy’s life better I will.”

“You and Negan have genuinely surprised me,” Simon informed her, taking in an extended shallow breath. “I suppose that little boy should be quite thankful to have you guys in his life. With you being as jealous of Sherry as you were in the past, I didn’t think you would be okay with this.”

“I mean, I’m not happy that she will be in our lives forever,” Y/N thought back to how she felt about Sherry in the past, “but I know how Negan feels about me. She’s not a threat. After everything Asher has told us about his life, I guarantee Negan isn’t a big fan of hers either. She is not a good mother for that boy.”

“Well then I guess the best thing we can do is get a move on then and get the two of you married so we can get your big happy family on the way,” Simon gave her a wink and followed up with a hug.

She got her dress and later that night they had dinner with Simon and his family. It was nice getting to see Asher having someone to play with. It was obvious that he wasn’t used to having kids around to spend the night and hang out with. Everything seemed like it was a new experience for Asher and while it was sweet, it broke her heart to know that Asher went over seven years without having the kind of things he was having now.

While it was mildly uncomfortable with Simon’s wife around, they still seemed to enjoy each other’s time enough and Simon’s wife seemed to be controlling her mouth while she was around them. Maybe it was because of how Negan was with Asher or how much Negan appeared to love Y/N. Either way, Y/N was happy with the outcome.

Time seemed to fly by and before she knew it, it was the day of her wedding and she couldn’t believe it was actually happening. To try and keep ‘traditions’, Simon attempted to take the boys with him in the morning while his wife helped Y/N get ready. When it was time for them to get married, Simon’s wife drove her to the lighthouse that Negan had planned to have the wedding. Simon, Negan and Asher were already there waiting for them. It was in the evening and it was a beautiful day. It was everything she could have asked for and more. In fact, better than she could have pictured.

Simon did everything he could to make sure that Negan was kept from seeing her in her dress. So when she showed up Negan was turned away and facing the lighthouse. Asher was standing beside Negan and waved at Y/N when he saw her.

“Negan, she’s beautiful,” Asher tugged on Negan’s jacket making Negan look over his shoulder when Y/N was into position. Negan’s lips went agape and she could see the expression on Negan’s face change when turned to finally see her in the dress she was wearing.

“So beautiful,” Negan agreed, his jaw flexing when he saw Simon step in beside her. Asher reached up to grab Negan’s hand and Negan squeezed it in his firmly.

Y/N asked Simon to walk her down the so called ‘aisle’ and when she finally got the time to look at Negan with Asher, it made her smile. Asher was dressed almost completely like Negan was and it was ridiculously cute.

It was all such a blur, but the one thing that stuck with her was the smile that Negan had. The way his eyes were locked on hers while the wedding officiant performed the ceremony caused her heart to flutter. Their wedding wasn’t conventional. That was for sure, but it was perfect for her. It seemed like throughout most of the ceremony Negan was fighting to keep himself from crying. His eyes were damp and his breathing was heavy while he looked her over.

The ceremony went swiftly and Y/N did her vows for Negan. They were from the heart and they were everything she could come up with in such a short time, but she knew they were perfect by the look on Negan’s face. Even though he tried to keep himself from crying, her vows broke him and she could see a single tear sliding down the side of his face and in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of them alone on that beach together. When it was Negan’s turn, she felt him grasping tightly to her hands.

“Y/N, when I met you, I was a broken man. One that thought he was so shattered that no one would ever be able to bring the pieces back together. I thought no one would ever love me for who I was and then you came into my life. Sure, at first it was a bit bumpy,” Negan half laughed thinking about the time they spent together in the earlier parts of their relationship, “but you made me realize what love was. You fixed me. You took the years of being a broken-down version of myself and you mended each piece together with your love. For once in my life I can finally say that I’m happy and I owe all of that to you. You see me, all of me and you still love me regardless. I love you with everything that I am and I always will. You used to tell me when we first got together that I was your savior, but thinking back on it…you are my savior Y/N. You saved me from myself. You gave me faith in the world again and I fucking love you so much.”

“Negan,” Simon’s wife half laughed from where she was standing with the camera Simon had brought for them to capture some of their moments from the wedding. They all snickered and Negan lowered his head before lifting his gaze again to meet Y/N’s eyes.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life wife with you because I will always be excited for what’s next,” Negan shrugged his shoulders, his bottom lip seemingly trembling while he brought her hands up to his lips to kiss over them. “I couldn’t think of someone I would rather spend the rest of my life with and I am so lucky to have you agree to be my wife.”

It caused Y/N to smile and she was shaking. She couldn’t help it, this all felt like a dream. It was perfect and she never thought this would ever be something she deserved in her life. Yet, here they were. Negan picked up on her being emotional and he stepped forward to press a quick kiss over her lips, but the officiant quickly corrected Negan that it wasn’t time for that yet. It made them both smile, but before they knew it Asher was handing them the rings and they were saying their I dos.

When they kissed, it was a romantic, lingering kiss. Negan’s hands cupped her face softly while his rough thumbs stroked over the sides of her face. Everything felt perfect making Y/N know that anything that took place in the future would be okay from that moment on because she would no longer have to take on life alone because Negan was there by her side to help her through it all.

“I love you,” Negan breathed against her lips, his forehead pressed against hers when he finally pulled away enough from the kiss. Her fingers slid up and caressed through his dark hair admiring the man before her and it made her crack a smile. “I’m so glad you chased after me…”

“I’m so glad you didn’t turn me down,” she whispered knowing they were being a bit silly with each other. “For long.”

After they got married, they stayed by the beach for a while before heading back to Negan’s home on the beach where they had a small celebration together with Simon’s family. Which was really just some dinner and dancing by the firepit that Negan had put out at night.

“Are you already regretting marrying me?” Negan teased while he held her close as they danced together. Simon and his wife were sitting by the firepit while the kids were playing together in the distance. Lifting her head up from Negan’s chest, she could see him smiling down at her and she shook her head. “You can turn back you know.”

“Not a chance,” she tipped up on her bare toes to meet Negan in another kiss, cherishing the warmth of him against her.

“So, I talked to Asher and we’re going to have a campout outside tonight on the beach,” Simon moved in beside them, reaching out to place his hands in over their shoulders. When he drew their attention, Simon gave them a wink. “So, if the two of you want to go spend some time together at any point during your night…my wife and I have got the kids.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Negan shook his head and Simon gave them an odd expression.

“You have a son now big man with another baby on the way. Your chances of having sex are going to be slim to none now. So, I say take it while you can get it,” Simon made Y/N roll her eyes and Negan laughed at his friend’s bluntness. Simon started to speak up loud so that Asher could hear him where he was playing. “Anyways, we’re excited for the campout. Aren’t we Asher?”

“Oh yeah,” Asher held his hand up in the air and waved them on before he continued playing with Simon’s kids.

“See, little man is happy,” Simon rubbed his hands together and urged them toward the house. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“You’re crazy,” Negan snorted and Simon nodded before running off toward the kids to play with them on the beach. “Do you want to?”

“Do you?” she repeated his question and Negan shrugged his shoulders.

“I am enjoying myself under the stars here with you in my arms,” Negan answered, pulling her in close to him for another dance and she took it. She was going to appreciate every moment she had with him and she wasn’t eager to rush tonight.

After they were done dancing, Negan reached for her hand and led her into the house and up the stairs toward their bedroom after grabbing a hold of her hand. Negan helped her unzip her dress before she went into the restroom to carefully take it off so it didn’t get ruined. When she moved back toward the bedroom Negan was on the bed, resting back on his elbows stretched out. His white dress shirt was unbuttoned and pushed to the sides revealing his bare chest and long torso to her sight. It made her smile when she noticed his pants were already undone making it seem like he was eager.

“Couldn’t wait to get out of that stuff, huh?” she teased, moving into the room slowly. Carefully getting on the bed, she crawled in over him slowly and started kissing near his navel hearing him let out a small groan as her lips drew small lines up his body and toward his chest.

“I just wanted to look sexy,” Negan laughed deeply before a moan fell from his throat when she bit at his chest making him tip his head back. “Did it work?”

“You always look sexy,” she replied, looking up from his chest. Her eyes were hooked on his and Negan’s nose wrinkled. The way his eyes shifted while he stared down at her made a chill spread down her spine. Moving in over his chest where he got the tattoo for her, she began to press slow, pampering kisses over the design. “No matter what.”

“I hope you continue to always feel that way about me,” Negan reached up with his right hand to palm in over the side of her face and then trace down over the side of her neck. “I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

“That’s not possible,” she trailed her lips up over his chest and over the side of his neck before meeting his lips in a heated kiss. Negan lifted up enough to help her pull his shirt from his arms and her palms caressed over his shoulders. Tracing her fingertips over the freckles that were over his shoulders made her smile. “I’m so happy I get to spend my life getting to fall in love with you over and over again.”

“Come here,” Negan carefully flipped her over and crawled in over her. He kept his weight over her and she felt in awe of him while he stared into her eyes. He was delicately brushing his fingers through her hair and the warmth of his breath over her face felt incredible. “You are so beautiful and I can’t wait for our family to grow. We’re going to have to come up with a name, you know?”

“Any ideas?” she brushed her fingers through Negan’s thick hair and he smiled almost excitedly.

“Depends on what we have,” Negan reached down to caress the back of his hand over the slight swell of her abdomen and the touch made her let out a delicate sigh. “I always daydreamed of having kids, you know? So, I wanted to make sure this is perfect.”

“It will be,” she insisted, reaching down to place her hand over his where it was over her abdomen. “No matter what, we’ll be ready for the future and what’s ahead of us.”

“I love you…so much,” Negan repeated the phrase she had heard so many times today, but she loved hearing it and was open to hearing it as many times as possible. “I am so lucky and I will never let you slip through my fingers. You are everything to me. Both of you.”

Negan was exceedingly touchy in a gentle way as if trying to memorize everything about tonight. It wasn’t some wild, sexy romp like Simon likely assumed it would be when he gave them time to themselves, but Negan made love to her whispering sweet promises to her that she genuinely believed from him. It was perfect. Everything about this day was perfect and she couldn’t ask for more.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​​​  @nubbinrobin​​​ @oreostars​​​  @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​​​ @jennydehavilland​​​ @felicity291​​ @de-gabyconamor​​ @ibelongtonegan​​​ @smallsadjellyfish​​ @labyrinthofheartagrams​​  @msjamesmarch​​ @thebeautysurrounds​​ @hotfornegan​​ @redmercysugar​​ @caprithebunny​​ @iluvneganandjamie​​ @ninamarietwd​​ @tuttifuckinfruitty​​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @a-girl-interupted​​ @akumune​​ @stoneyggirl​​ @darlingmilex​​​

#Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan fanfiction #negan x reader #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 42 - Filling up at  old style sweet shop 'Kamikawaguchiya'.

Part 1 (Part 2 here)

00:14 K: This is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Today is a little different from the usual white background.

J: Its totally different.

T: Its good isn't it? It feels nice.

J: It does.

K: Yeah, Joe san, Tasai san, Im forgetting the order of things, haha. Uh, where is this?

J: So this is in the neighborhood Zōshigaya, and this place is called Kishibojin. I think most Kantō people know of this place. Its really near Ikebukuro. By train its either the Toden-Arakawa line, or the Fukutoshin line, and about 3 mins walk from Zōshigaya station.  Kaoru, is this your first time here?

K: Yes.

T: What do you think of the atmosphere here?

K: Well, I like temples, so...

J: Oh, you like temples?

T: (*speaking off mic*)

J: Yeh, so Ikebukuro Sunshine City is quite close to here..

K: Is it that close?

J: Yeh, its close. You could walk it if you tried. Its not that far. But this area has had temples and shrines on it since long ago.

1:33 J: So, inside here is Japan's oldest sweet shop.

K: The oldest?

J: Yes.

K: Ah, we talked about this before.

J: Yes, thats right. Shall we go inside? You know, I've not eaten all day so that I will have room for sweets.

K: Really??

1:56 J: Here we are. The name of the shop is 'Kamikawaguchiya'.

T: Established in 1781?

J: Really. How many years is that? I can't work it out immediately...200....240 years ago?

T: Yeh.

2:16 J,T: Hello, sorry to disturb you.

J: This shop was founded in 1781? What generation are you?

Old lady: 13th generation.

J: 13th??

T: 1781 was in the..

Old lady: Edo era.

J: The Edo era?? Well, this place is very unique, and Im already feeling hungry. Do you remember this? *picks something up* Its plum jam. I used to put this on soft rice crackers.

K: Oh yeah!

J: We used to eat this, right? Plum jam. Its so nostalgic, I really wanna eat this. What else..

T: Should we just choose one each?

J: Once each?

T: To start with.

J: Oh, to start with, yeh. Kaoru, what about you?

3:11 K: This has a lot in..

J: Oh, it does.

K: So, I might be full after just this.

J: Haha, yeh. You chose quickly.

T: Oh this is nostalgic.

J: So nostalgic!

Old lady: Please put them in a basket.

J: Ah, ok, we'll put them in this.

T: These are 'lottery sweets'.

J: Excuse me, do you have those rice crackers to put plum jam on?  Oh, these! Its this!

Old lady: Thats a pack of them. The individual ones are down here.

J: Oh, right.

K: This is really good. (*looking at the sweets box lid *)

J: Haha, yeh.

K: I feel like Im back in my hometown.

3:58 T: Ok, im gonna pull out one of these sweets.

J: So nostalgic!

T: Look, (*points to Ginko leaf*) the Ginko tree is shedding here.

J: Remember this yogurt type thing?

K: Oh yeh yeh! I've eaten that.

J: I'll have this too.

K: Hang on, lets eat the first ones before that.

J: Right, the first ones.

K: Ok, money...

J: Our staff will pay.

K: Ok, we'll have these, and one of those please.

T: Yeh, one of the lottery sweets.

Old lady: Please pull one out.

T: This is nostalgic too!

J: Its a type of gambling.

T: Yeh, this is the moment you turned from a child to an adult. Ahhh, its small!

J: Ah, it is small.

T: Im in shock. Thank you, I'll eat it later.

K: So, this and this aswell please.

Old lady: Ok, pass it over, I'll work it out.

J: Please do.

Old lady: ¥30, ¥50....ok, thats ¥119.

J: ¥119.

T: I'll get this.

J: This is on Tokyo Sports? haha.

K: Thanks for buying us this!

J: So cool! haha.

Old lady: ¥81 change.

T: Thank you.

Old lady: Thank you very much.

J: She's so thankful just for ¥120.

T: Yeh, it makes me happy.

J: Ok, lets try these. Look at this..

T: That looks good.

J:(*opening packet, Tasai holds the the rice crackers for him while he squeezes the jam on*) Oh, im sorry, can you help me. I feel like the colour is different.

Old lady: Ah, thats because the maker is different.

J: Oh?

Old lady: The old maker closed down three years old.

J: Oh really?!

K: Are you using all of it.

J: Of course!

Old lady: The newcomers can't make it the same. ???*1 This one tastes okay.

J: Its ok?

Old lady: ???

J: Ok, I'll try it. Ah, yeh, its ok.

T, K: Hahaha.

J: Its just like you said, its ok. Ah, but its nostalgic! It tastes like old times.

K: *To Tasai* You're eating already?

J: Eat while the camera is on you!

T: Haha, it tastes good.

J: Please, we're on location!

T: I can't take it out of my mouth now.

J: We didn't come here to eat only.

6:29 J: Ok, Kaoru, you next.

K: *opening packet* Oh, it has a tooth pick.

J: So it does.

Old lady: Would you like this?

T: Oh, no Im ok, thank you.

K: *eats sweet* Mm, yeh this is how it tasted.

T: Haha

J: I've actually never tried that before.

6:55 J: What is it? Is it a hard sweet?

T: Isn't it gum?

Old lady: I think its gum.

K: It says its candy.

J:Oh, candy?

Old lady: Like a hard type candy.

J: It might be like a gum style gummi sweet. We had gummis in elementary school.

7:12 J: Ok, me next. What should I go for? Oh, this type of thing..

K: Ahh.

J: You suck it. This is nothing but food colouring.

T: Oh, look at this.

J: Ah, this. Oh, also this. *Opening box* This, this, this!

K: Ah, plum.

J: Plum! This is so sour! I might go with this. But Kaoru, you choose yours first. This is exciting.

7:44 J: So this is our second round.

T: Yeh.

J: Everyone's like, I don't care, just choose, haha.

K: I've had a sweet one, so I feel like getting a sour one this time. Maybe I'll go with this.

J: Oh, you're picking that one? Yeh, thats a good one.

T: Yoguru

J: Yeh, its Yoguru. Thats so nostalgic too. You eat it with a spoon, right?

Old lady: The spoons are in there.

8:23 J: This too, right? Kinako sticks.

*Old lady and Tasai talking in the background*

J: I think I'll go with this. The sour plum. I'll take the plum..

T: And I'll go with this old fave..*holds up bag of snacks*

J: Ah, that!

Old lady: Oh, thats delicious, isn't it.

T: Yep.

Old lady: This one (Yoguru) has a lottery. Ok, its the same as last time, ¥119 yen please.

J: ¥119? Thats great.

T: Thank you

J: *getting money out*. No, no, this feels great, haha. Paying for you two adults like this.

9:05 J: Oh, the smell of this.

K: *smells the plum* Ahh

J: The smell makes your mouth water, right?

K: Its sour! You've gone for another sour one.

J: *smells the plum* So sour!

Old lady: You drink it with the straw.

J: Oh, were you supposed to drink it??

K: You should have opened that first *points to straw*

J: I've done it in the wrong order again, I just can't get it right.

K: While you're doing that, I'll eat mine.

9:28 K: I didn't win.

J: Oh, yeh! That comes with a lottery.

Old lady: Someone won with that before and just threw it in the bin.

K: Ehh? What a waste.

Old lady: Customers just eat them and throw them away.

K: *eats* Ahh, this is nostalgic.

J: What exactly are the ingredients in this? haha. Its not yogurt, is it? At least.

K: Its best not to think about it.

J: Haha

10:06 J: *Drinking plum juice* Ah, it sour!

K: Haha.

J: Did I really drink this as a kid?? I cannot drink all of this.

K: Does it irritate your throat?

J: Mm..*drinks* Agh, sour! This makes my face   frown!

T: ???*2

J: Honestly, I've got tears in my eyes! Do I have to drink all of it?

K: Yeh, you have to.

J: Really?

10:34 J: Ok, watch this. *drinks*

K: Ahh, the straw is little..

J: Agh, so soouuuuur. Ah, its sour. But its cause its vinegar, right?

K: Its good for your health.

J: Yeah. No mistake.

K: It has artificial colours in it though.

J: It does, yeh. I'll eat the plum just as it is. *eats plum* Ah, yeh, i remember this taste. *To Tasai* You want this one? I can't eat two.

T: I've still got this sweet in my mouth from before. I've totally messed up this job.

K: Hahaha

T: Its still in my mouth.

J: And you're holding everyone's snacks. You look like the sweet shop guy /駄菓子おじさん

T: Haha, Kaoru, do you want the plum?

K: Nah, im ok.

T: Haha, you're ok?

K: It looks difficult to eat.

J: It is difficult to eat, for sure.

11:35 J: Ok, should we go for a third round?

K: Yes. I havn't brought money, Toru can pay.

J: Thank you

11:50 K:*picks up snack* A long time ago, was it my previous band? We used to eat these in the all night studio.

J: Haha, these?

T: A nostalgic taste.

K: Yeh, we had no money.  We used to eat stuff like this.

J: ???*3, its big right?

K: Yeh, I would have it if I got tired and hungry, and wanted a sweet snack.

12:19 T: Is this a stick lottery?

Old lady: If the end is red, you win.

T: Should the three of us play?

K: Yeah.

Old lady: How many do you want?

K: Three.

Old lady: Just three? ¥33yen please. *Takabayashi pays*.

T: Ok, lets try these lucky sticks.

J, T, K: *eat snack* Ahh

J: Oh, look! I won!

T: Thats a success.

J: I thought the plum food colouring had just gone on it.

K: Haha, no.

13:02 J: *getting another stick* What happens if I win again?

Old lady: You just carry on, no matter how many you win.

J: Ok, I'll try this one. *eats* Ahh, I didn't win.

13:24 K: *opens packet, eats* Ah, there's no mistaking that taste.

T, J: Hahah

T: Can I try? *takes a snack from bag, so does Joe* No mistaking?

K: Its kinda sweet.

T: Ah, tastes great!

K: This is so good.

T: It is.

13:40 J: What is this thing again?

K: This? If you look closely, they are different.

J: Oh, I used to get this one, Mochitarō.

T: It says 'sauce flavour'.

K: I used to get this one.

J: I got Mochitarō.

Old lady: Mochitarō is the strong flavour, the other one is sauce flavour.

K: I might go with this.

14:23 J: This is fun.

K: Oh, its chocolate barley.

J: Chocolate barley? Its hidden there.

K: And these. *points to snacks in basket*.  Um, near my parent's home, they would come and shoot these out. It was on the back of a truck.. (*image here*)

Old lady: Yes, thats right.

K: And you would take your rice, and there was this handle that they turned, and made it into this snack. If you helped out with turning the handle, they would give you it for free. And at the end, they would shoot it out.

Old lady: ???*4

K: Yeh yeh yeh.

J: Really?

K: You could make it with macaroni too.

Old lady: Its also nice as popcorn.

Click for Part 2

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #薫 #kaoru

[jaxsteamblog]

Oma and Shu

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

Katara remembered what Rohan had told her about King Bumi. Avatar Aang had friends in every nation, but Bumi was always his closest companion and became another father figure in his children’s lives. In one familial anecdote, King Bumi had placed Baby Bumi on his throne and let him rule for the day, daring anyone to definitively prove that he wasn’t the actual king. 

It was this intimate friendship that kept Omashu safe during the war until Aang passed. King Bumi was killed during the fall of Omashu, outliving his promise to Aang that he would see the end of the war. 

His heir, Queen Liu, was not a relative. She had been his head accountant and, as stated in Bumi’s will, had been actually running the kingdom for the past decade. A head for numbers but little skill with people, Liu relied on her inherited friendship with Aang’s family to keep her seat in the turbulent political waters. 

When Zuko had reached out, hoping for a visit, Liu cleared out a villa near the palace for them. Their interactions with the Queen when they first arrived was brief, and the dinner was slightly awkward, but the villa was airy and Katara could watch the ancient mail service fly by the windows. 

Now, after the failed kidnapping, they were being brought in for a royal audience.

“I am so sorry.” Liu gushed as soon as they stepped into the throne room. Her green suit was rumpled and her crown was tangled in her short hair, giving her a frantic look that matched her energy. 

“I had my security team sweep through the area just this morning.” She continued, taking quick strides to meet them. 

The guard attending them stumbled to a stop, unsure of how to proceed. 

“Your majesty, if my suspicions are correct, there was a lot of money that made sure you wouldn’t find out anything until it was over.” Zuko said, holding up his hands. 

“And we’re fairly certain they weren’t planning on killing us.” Katara added, looking at Zuko. “Having us gravely wounded would have gotten the same result.” 

Liu stared at them. Despite her inexperience with political machinations, she was still brilliant with equations. She snapped her attention to the guard, who reacted with the same alacrity as they saluted her.

“Find out who let them in and bring the persons responsible directly to me. I want it quiet.” She said. The guard nodded and left quickly, their heavy armored clothes making a clatter.

“I hope you don’t think Omashu is involved in this.” Liu said, attending to Katara and Zuko.

“Not at all.” Zuko said.

“Well, there might be some bad blood.” Katara interjected, rubbing the back of her neck.

The scorch marks, barely a decade old, were still present on the walls. 

“Which may have been part of the plan.” Zuko agreed.

“So you do suspect someone here?” Liu asked coldly.

“No, your majesty. Only that an interested party in the Earth Kingdom would leverage that fact. Omashu was the only kingdom that was successfully invaded.” Zuko explained.

“Hmm.” Liu sounded irritated but then she let out a breath.

“We cannot come to war again. With the Fire Nation or another city-kingdom.” She said, pressing the tips of her fingers to her temple. 

“We don’t want that either.” Katara said, taking Zuko’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Liu saw the movement and her eyes narrowed. 

“How did you escape your assailants?” Liu asked.

Zuko and Katara looked at each other.

“The badgermoles saved us.” Katara said, facing Liu.

“Of course they did. They’re nothing if not hopeless romantics.” She replied. 

Both being completely confused, they stayed quiet as Liu untangled her crown. The queen sighed as she straightened her hair and replaced the simple piece. She turned around and walked back to the throne, her hands behind her back. 

Katara and Zuko followed after, walking slowly.

“I asked Bumi why he picked me, since I was the furthest thing from royalty in the entire kingdom.” Liu said suddenly, putting her hand on the flat arm of the stone throne. 

“I’m a competent Earthbender and, like him, I know my crystals.” She continued. Lifting her hand, a column of purple crystal sprouted up after her. “But I’m a bastard.”

Lowering her hand, Liu pressed the crystal back into the nondescript stone. 

When they didn’t reply, Liu snorted and sat down on the throne. Tapping lightly on the arms again, crystals erupted all around her. 

“Oma was the first Earthbender and she ripped this entire kingdom up from the ground in her grief. There used to be a forest here, did you know that?” Liu asked. “It was mostly destroyed in the war between her village and Shu’s, but the rest lost its roots when Omashu emerged.

“Bumi told me that every single ruler of Omashu has been a bastard, because of one simple curse.” 

“A curse?” Zuko repeated.

“No one had seen earthbending before. What Oma did was something people thought only the spirits themselves could accomplish. They thought her a witch, and probably would have sent her off with Shu had they not been thoroughly terrified.” Liu said. “And when she raised Omashu, she vowed never to marry and that if any marriage occurred in the royal line, they would be as barren as the desert that surrounds us. But worse, if the blood of fated lovers was ever spilled again in Omashu, the kingdom would fall.”

“So are you…?” Katara started and Liu shook her head.

“Bumi’s preferences would have a slim chance of ever producing natural children. I’m the illegitimate child of a professor and a housekeeper.” She answered. 

“Wait, are you saying that you’re worried the kingdom will fall now?” Zuko asked. 

“Had either of you died, I think we can all agree that plenty of people would look to hold me responsible.” Liu said. “My claim to this throne is tenuous at best, considering my history and Bumi’s chaotic whims.” 

“I think prophecies and curses are made vague enough that a random coincidence could fulfill it.” Katara said. 

“Why did you choose to visit Omashu?” Liu questioned.

“Our, well, the first time we went out together was to see an art exhibit about Oma and Shu.” Katara answered. “It was Zuko’s idea.”

“And why did you choose that?” Liu inquired.

“I.” Zuko cleared his throat and avoided eye contact. “I mean, I thought the similarity was interesting.”

“Two people from opposite sides of the war, but claiming no allegiance, love each other even as their people condemn them for it?” Liu asked. 

Zuko shifted uncomfortably and Katara stared at him, mildly irritated and incredulous.

“In the name of Oma’s bastard children,” Liu said, speaking the typically annoyed phrase with lofty importance. “I acknowledge the bond of this pair and will strive to protect it.”

The solemnity fell on them, and Katara couldn’t even feel awkward. 

“For as long as you two are together, you will have the friendship of all of Omashu behind you.” Liu said, speaking casually now. 

“Thank you, your majesty.” Zuko said and bowed. Katara mirrored him, but felt empty inside. 

She didn’t want prophecy or fate. She didn’t want a legacy to protect. She certainly didn’t want any part of a curse.

She just wanted Zuko.

But, Katara felt the warmth swirl in her chest, that was probably all Oma wanted too. To be with her beloved.

“Thank you.” Katara whispered to earth. 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

#zutara #fanfiction #jax writes #zutara month #modern au #the fic that prompts built

[reluctant-mandalore]

Touch (Din Djarin x Reader)

Word Count: 1911

Warnings: Fluffy, love confessions, and some mention of violence/violence taking place. Not written by me, I’m just the poster <33

Writer: @tobusydaydreaming​

Note: Hey guys! This was part of the surprise I had for you today. Today you are receiving two fics!! (The other one will be posted later today) This fic isn’t actually by me, but is instead by my best friend @tobusydaydreaming​ who asked me to post it for them. They’re amazing and very talented so be sure to show them some love! Also, Reilly I love you, thank you for trusting me with your fic. You’re beautiful and I adore you <3

When you tell someone you like them, like like like them, it can go one of two ways: they either feel the same, or they don’t. If they’re nice, they’ll let you down gently. But what happens when you feel the same? A reciprocated love confession is typically followed by a dramatic kiss, or soft gazes and hand-holding. What happens when neither of you thought you would get to that point and are both internally panicking?

That was the dilemma that a woman and her Mandalorian partner were currently facing. Not three hours earlier were they staring death in the eye together. Both pinned down by a squadron of mercenaries, friends of one of their bounties. The blaster fire and explosions seemed endless, and the pair didn’t think they would fight their way out of this one.

“If we don’t make it out of this,” the woman had said, “I want you to know something!”

The blaster fire was so loud, that the two had to yell to be heard. If they made it, she was sure her voice would never recover. She quickly ducked down, a shot narrowly missing her face.

“And that is?” the Mandalorian, Din Djarin prompted.

“That I am so glad you asked me to be part of your crew. I wouldn’t trade this life for all the credits in the galaxy, and-”

A near-deafening explosion went off just beyond their pitiful defences.

“And I really like you!”

The Mandalorian peaked over the barrier with his blaster, taking down three men in quick succession. 

“I really don’t think this is the time!”

She peeked over the barrier too, only hitting one man. Much less impressive than her partner, but at least she didn’t hit the wall this time.

“No, Mando, you’re not listening!”

“Y/N-“

“I really, really like you!”

She watched the Mandalorian’s helmet snap over to where she was crouched. She was sure that his helmet could pick up on the sound of her extremely loud heartbeat. Their moment of pause was short-lived, however, when a brazen man walked around the Mandalorian’s corner, blaster raised. The woman was faster than him, getting a perfect bullseye right in the middle of his forehead, and he dropped. The Mandalorian didn’t even flinch.

“You like me?”

“Have since you saved my ass on Hoth!” she involuntarily shivered. The cold would forever haunt her nightmares. 

The blaster fire seemed to falter for a moment, which only meant one thing: recharging. Both the woman and the Mandalorian took this intermission to poke around the corners and shoot at their attackers for as long as possible. They each took down a handful before they started their fire again. The pair sat down beside one another behind their shotty cover.

“If it’s any consolation...I like you too.”

 She felt her heart soar and drop simultaneously. She learns the one thing she’s always wanted to know right before she’s about to die? Typical.

  How the pair got out was a little tricky to understand. In all the chaos, the Mandalorian and the woman had failed to notice the large crate of explosives three feet away from them. They were somehow able to get it, detonate it, kill everyone but themselves and walk away generally unscathed. Not even they were sure how it all went so perfectly. Maybe Lady Luck decided to stick her neck out.

 Their miraculous escape left them feeling sore, exhausted and desperate for hyperspace. The further they were from this hellhole planet, the better. They walked back silently, just looking over at each other from time to time to make sure the other was actually there. Actually alive and with them, because they had something waiting for them back on the Razor Crest. The kid.

 The woman had taken on sort of a maternal role for the little green child. She would watch him while his father, the Mandalorian was out hunting. She would play with him and feed him and sing him to sleep, and she loved her job. She loved the kid. She loved the kid’s father, and now he knew it. 

 This is what weighed on her mind as she sat shotgun in the cockpit of the Crest. The little babbling child had been so excited about his parents' return that he quickly tired himself out. He slept peacefully in the belly of the ship in his floating cradle, dreaming sweet dreams of little blue shrimp and jumping amphibians.

 He wasn’t aware of, or old enough to understand, the tension surrounding the Mandalorian and the woman. She knew that they couldn’t just act like they never said what they said. At least, she couldn’t. But she didn’t know if it was too soon to bring it up. They did almost just die, after all. But watching the stars reflecting off his helmet, the way they seemed to dance, she couldn’t wait.

“So...you like me too, huh? How uh...how long has that been a thing?” 

 She was about ten seconds away from throwing herself out the nearest window. The fact that they were in space made it all the better. She could die quickly and take her embarrassment with her. Her companion stiffened, but only for a moment. He stayed quiet for a bit, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. 

“Since Hoth.” came his modulated reply.

 The woman went big-eyed in disbelief. This entire time, he had liked her back? Did he also lay awake at night asking “what if?” Did he also let his gaze linger when she had her back turned? If she hadn’t been so shocked, she would have been furious. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

A pause.

“Nope.”

 She scoffed at him, but she had a large smile on her face. Then, the Mandalorian did something the woman did not expect. He hit a few buttons and moved a knob or two, before turning his chair to face the woman head-on. She stared into his visor, trying her best to look him in the eye. But she could only see the reflection of her own looking back at her.

 That was what always concerned her. He was a Mandalorian, and he lived and breathed their creed. The culture was something Din Djarin held very close to his heart, and the woman had always respected that. Her life and personality were vastly different from that of the Mandalorian, and she had always wondered if that eliminated any chance of being more than friends.

 “I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’ve never really had anything like,” the Mandalorian gestured vaguely between them, “this. I don’t even know where to start.”

 The woman didn’t think there would be anything else that could really surprise her. Yet here she was, being proven wrong. When he wasn’t terrifying and spoke more than one sentence, Din Djarin was very sweet. No matter how short or blunt they were, his words were always kind. So the woman couldn’t help but wonder why a Mandalorian woman hadn’t bagged him in the past.

“Can Mandalorians even date outside of the creed?” she asked.

 It was so faint she could have missed it. A louder than normal exhale of air from the Mandalorian. A chuckle. 

“We can. It’s just...not as common. Other Mandalorians accept the creed better than those who aren’t.”

 The creed. It was the creed that forbade her from ever seeing Din Djarin’s face. Unless they were married, which had been an impossibility when she had woken up that morning. Sure, she had felt his face before. In the dark of night, just barely making out the silhouette of his body. With a blindfold on, being guided by his hands. With her eyes closed in the biggest act of trust between them. She had always been accepting of the creed, but she couldn’t help longing to see the man under the mask.

 She wondered if that was part of why he liked her. She wasn’t exactly the cream of the crop when it came to dating options. Her aim was slightly off, she couldn’t tell you what tool you were holding and her flying was alright on a good day. But she was loyal and dependable and damned if she wasn’t determined. She was a stable constant in Din Djarin’s life, and that was no easy feat.

“I guess we can start wherever we want. Wherever we feel comfortable starting.” the woman said.

 Both the woman and the Mandalorian sat in a comfortable silence, deep in thought. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle hum of the Crest’s engine. If you listened closely, you could hear it straining through hyperspace. How the ship wasn’t falling apart at the seams, the woman would never know. But it had become home. The smells, the mechanical problems and the little corner of the storage room she claimed as her sleeping area. It was small and cramped, but there was nowhere else she would rather be.

“I have an idea if it’s not too much for you.”

 A modulated hmm was the Mandalorian’s response. The woman held out her hand, making a grabbing motion. The Mandalorian tentatively reaches out and placed his hand in hers. She smiled. It was a smile that never failed to made Din Djarin’s chest warm. It was that smile that made every bad thing seem worthwhile.

 The woman gently peeled the thick, leather glove off one hand. It was calloused, coated in scars and twice the size of hers. She held it gently in both of hers with a softness that was so very foreign to Din Djarin. At least, it was until he met her. She had felt his bare skin before, helping with the odd injury here and there. But this was a first. Hand holding for hand holding’s sake. 

 She played with her partner’s hand, moving her fingers gliding along his palm and intertwining their fingers every so often. It was one of the few precious moments that the two of them so rarely got. A calm in between the storm of hunting bounties. The Mandalorian spread his hand out flat, lining the two hands palm to palm.

 They sat like that for a few moments, just basking. The woman then moved her partner's hand, placing it gently against her cheek. The rough thumb of the Mandalorian began to rub small circles and patterns against the woman’s cheek. She sighed in response, closing her eyes and pushing her face more into the Mandalorian’s grasp. Physical affection was something both were new to, but craved so deeply.

“We can go as slow as we want, Din.”

 Din Djarin absorbed her words. Kind words that danced across his mind and made him feel light. Since he had never really put any thought into relationships, he never realized that he could feel so light. Genuine kindness, especially when it’s directed at him, was worth more than any credits a bounty could give him.

 The woman shifted her face even more so that her lips connected with the Mandalorian’s hand. She peppered a trail of soft, ghost-like kisses across the palm, up to the tips of his fingers, then back down again. She planted one final kiss in the middle of her partner’s hand, lingering there a little longer. The woman opened her eyes, still caressing the Mandalorian’s hand against her face.

“I’d like that,” he said. “I really would.”

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