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irisintheafterglow · 7 months

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hello…………..kiyoomi crumbs pls

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

*patting the hood of a car* this bad boy can hold so much bf!sakusa

cw: swearing and the msby jackals being idiots

you checked your phone again and prayed you weren't keeping him waiting for a long time.

"hi, is omi still in there?"

"he should be just about finishing up, but you can go ahead. you know your way around the place by now," the security guard states warmly, giving you the go-ahead to navigate the back halls of the gym to the men's locker room. even if you did find yourself lost, it'd be easy to get to your destination by simply following the banter of your boyfriend's three very spirited teammates. their voices grow louder with every step and you have to stifle a laugh when you start to pick up the bits and pieces of their conversations.

"and then she told me i was being delusional! can you imagine? me? delusional?"

"remind us all when you met this girl, atsumu?"

"...last week."

"dare i say, she has a point," deadpans the smooth, low voice of your boyfriend. he always knew the best ways to press atsumu's buttons, making it very difficult to invite his friends over for dinner without harmless arguing occurring at the kitchen table. "it's okay; i'm sure you'll find another 'love of your life' next week."

"shoyo, the fuck are you doin' with my shirt?"

"can you all please put clothes on? if sakusa's partner walks in here and all of you are naked-"

"i'm not naked!"

"we know you're not, bokuto, but atsumu needs to put his tits away before i cut them off with scissors," kiyoomi quips and you fail to muffle your snort from around the corner. the room quiets in an instant and you hear a faint fuck before he finally comes to find you. he's still slightly sweaty from practice, all toned muscle and messy hair and bright eyes that only twinkle for you. "hi, beautiful."

"hey, handsome. you done threatening physical violence in there?" your eyebrow quirks in question and he shakes his head tiredly, tugging you into him by the belt loops of your pants. your arms rest on his shoulders, brushing stray curls from his forehead.

"not yet. i still have some unfinished business."

"mmm, with razors, i hear." you nod in solemn understanding and his mouth quirks into a half-smile, another expression of his that was reserved only for you. his lips press a kiss to your temple in a rare show of public affection, inhaling your presence with his eyes shut contentedly. "i could be wrong, but a federal offense will probably screw up your olympic prospects."

"if you tell me to do it, i'll do it," he murmurs absentmindedly and you chuckle under your breath.

"what, murder atsumu or not murder atsumu?"

"dealer's choice." he places one more kiss on your nose before resting his forehead against yours like he'd been away from you for decades. to you, it was a few hours; but, to him, it felt like a century. "i missed you a lot."

"i can tell. you're very affectionate tonight." his forehead scrunches in confusion at the implication of your statement.

"what am i, a cat?" the incredulity in his voice makes you giggle and, despite his best efforts to remain stoic, you can tell he's fighting back a smile too.

"in some ways, yes. you do tend to leave hair all over our couch, and you make a lot of noise when you're hungry." he makes a proud noise in the back of his throat and lightly pinches the flesh of your sides in defiance.

"i'll buy us a new one if you want me to," he promises. you stopped sharing product ads with omi on instagram because he tended to buy you anything that you sent him, even if it was just a funny little trinket you saw on an etsy shop. these items included but were not limited to stationary, plushies, athleticwear, and, of course, furniture.

"you don't need to do that."

"maybe i already have."

"thanks for letting me know that your newest love language is buying me a sofa."

"my love language is doing whatever you want me to do, angel." you both jump when a loud crash comes from the locker room around the corner, followed by hinata's panicked rambling and bokuto saying "that was fucking epic!" atsumu, you'd guess, is either the culprit or the object that caused the crash. you gently push omi's sturdy shoulders away and he groans in protest. "do i have to?"

"wrangle your team, put some proper clothes on, and take me to dinner, lover boy."

"as you wish."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#sakusa x reader #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #kiyoomi x reader #kiyoomi x you #kiyoomi x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa kiyoomi x y/n #haikyu x you #haikyu x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyu fluff #haikyu crack #ask iris!

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kitasgloves · 4 months

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hq characters as me and my friends' text messages

part 2

— ♬ SFW purely crack & humor, platonic but can be perceived as romantic

Osamu & Sakusa

Iwaizumi & Suna

and yes my friend snitched on me for smoking inside his cousin's house >:(

Oikawa

my friend was out of the country last month and I was missing them lmao

Kita

this was me and one of my older guy friends, and no I don't have Spotify premium idgaf

#— ♬ ©kitasgloves #haikyuu #haikyuu crack #haikyuu texts #osamu x reader #sakusa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #suna x reader #oikawa x reader #kita x reader

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hotvinimon · 3 months

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Miya Osamu <3

“Samu…Samu…Don’t look directly, but I can see your doppelganger… just behind you.”

You and your sweet, loving, handsome, onigiri man of a boyfriend were on a night date in the street of Shibuya. Osamu was busy in choosing what to eat first, while you took pictures. Suddenly you saw Osamu’s clown toghether with a curly haired, bitch-faced man, an orange head and an owl faced beefy boy.

To say that you were shocked would be an understatement. A guy… or I should say Samu’s clown was chatting with his friends just few meters behind your boyfriend, only his hair's more blonde, and his vibe's more... clownish.

“Doppelganger ??? what do you even me-” “CAN’T YOU FUCKING WHISPER ?? AND DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT. BE MORE SUBTLE.” you whisper yelled.

Suddenly the doppelganger looked in your direction and frowned comically and advanced towards you.

“OH MY GOSH, SAMUUUU, HE'S COMING... HE'S COMING THIS WAY!”

Samu quickly looked into the direction, and unlike you he was frowning ??? similarly like his doppelganger ??? what the heck was going on. Was there some kind of invisible mirror thing that you couldn’t see.

Even the doppelganger's buddies seem cool, like they're in on the joke.

The doppelganger was now, standing in front of you and looking at your boyfriend, like he was communicating with his eyes. Before anyone could say anything…

“OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD… CAN I TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU SIR ????”

All eyes are on you, but who cares? It's not every day you meet your boyfriend's mirror image.

“Oh.. of course cutie, are you a fan ??”

“Well, I’m a human but I’ve never seen my boyfriend’s clown my entire life.” you giggled like a kid.

“DON’T DO THAT”. That ‘DOPPELGANGER’ yelled at your boyfriend.

“I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING.”

“YOU ARE MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT HER. LIKE YOU MAKE AT FOOD.”

“I AM NOT.”

“YES YOU ARE”

All you could hear for next fifteen minutes was funny curse words and skin slapping sounds. Meanwhile, the curly-haired dude shoots you a concerned look.

“Ohhhh… so you are his big brother. Nice to meet you Tsum, I’m y/n, Samu’s s/o.”

Unlike your fictional brain, the ‘DOPPELGANGER’ turned out to be your boyfriend’s twin brother.

“Nice to meet you too y/n/n” Atsumu showed his signature smirk.

“IT’S MIYA TO YOU AND IT’S Y/L/N TO YOU.”

"WHAT THE HECK, BASTARD? AM I SOME GIRLFRIEND STEALER?"

"MORE LIKE AN UNINVITED DATE CRASHER."

"AT LEAST I'M EYE CANDY."

"YEAH, WELL, MOM LIKES ME MORE."

More insults fly, more slaps echo, and the furniture starts to question its life choices. Meeting your boyfriend's twin? Not too shabby after all.

Keys -

y/n - your name

s/o - sgnificant other

y/n/n - your nick name

y/l/n - your last name

Requests are open

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tobxiyu · 5 months

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✶ BF TEXTS !

featuring. kita, osamu, oikawa, sakusa and sugawara.

fluff , crack | established relationship | another post bc im in a good mood :)

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kiwanopie · 2 years

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Top 10 anime men who will lay pipe expeditiously. Haikyuu Edition. *Reupload*

cw: piv, dirty talk, general adult themes. minors do not interact

Akaashi |Run Time: Within the first month| Not exactly a prude, just believes that being more intuned with your partner is necessary to satisfying sex. Plus he likes the build up between general interest and sexual tension. If we’re being honest, he’s probably been thinking of putting his hands all over you since the second date. But he’s courteous enough to let you know that he actually wants to get to know you first. Likes to call you after work during the talking stage just to ask you about your day. Invites you over on his off days to make sure you’re comfortable around him. But again, he’s been holding himself back for a while. And he’s not too coy for a little phone sex in the meantime. - But, boy does he completely lose it when you crawl into his lap during one of your hangout sessions. Your friends still don’t believe you when you introduce them to the guy that “fucked you within an inch of your life” before you officially started dating.

Iwaizumi |Run Time: Within the first few weeks| He likes to believe that the reason he doesn’t rush it is because he’s “old fashioned” and that he’s mature enough to understand that “it takes time for these kinds of things.” Whole time he’s just busy. Trust me, deep down he knows if he had it his way he’d have you folded over three ways to Sunday after the third date. But he has the physical health of like twelve overgrown toddlers to manage and the team moves around pretty often. So, it’s just quick coffee dates and video calls for a while. But trust me, the moment he has time on his hands you’re done for. I suggest clearing your schedule before you meet up! You’re gonna need some time to recover.

Oikawa |Run Time: Within two weeks| First week down though and you can see it physically hurts him that he’s not fucking you as soon as he wants to. Only reason he’s holding out though is because he actually likes you, so he doesn’t want you to think that’s the only thing he’s seeking out. - But you know that meme of that guy who looks like he’s this 🤏 close to having a stroke with all those veins on his face? Yeah. Soon as he knows you’re on the same page though he’s slutting himself out to you like his life depends on it. And he talks the nastiest shit. Will tell you everything he’s been wanting to do to you and then show you in frankly exemplary detail.

Hinata |Run Time: Within a week| To his credit, he’s the most unafraid to let you know how smitten he is with you from the jump. Gave you your phone back after putting his number in with his info under “Shoyo 💕❤️” and told you to call him if you’re looking for someone to treat you right. Literally told you the night you actually hooked up that you were only doing missionary to start off, and when you asked why he replied that you were “Too pretty to fuck in anything but,” With all the sweet talk he uses in the week leading up, you’re not wrong for being completely out of your depth when he fucks you like he hates your guts. But don’t worry, the love’s still there! You’re even prettier when he’s fucked the brains outta you <3

Kuroo |Run Time: Within the first couple of dates| Class traitor often forgets the line between courting a significant other and a sugar baby. Thought the best way to charm your pants off was to buy out the restaurant you’d have your first date at and surprise you with a birkin bag. Isn’t ashamed to let you know he gets off on watching you spend his money and when he’s booking a pent-suite for your third date it takes a very necessary pause during dinner to establish that 1.) Yes, he wants to be your boyfriend. No, he didn’t know that this wasn't the right way to do it. And 2.) He’s only been spending this much money because it’s the only thing stopping him from cumming in his pants the moment he gets within a foot of you. Weird guy. Rearranges your guts like no one’s business.

Bokuto |Run Time: The date after the first| He tries…so hard to hold out, he really does! It’s just god you’re so fucking sexy. Everything you do has his brain short circuiting and he’s starting to want you so bad that it’s making him itch. Your thighs are so squishy and your lips look so plump. Everything about you looks soft to the touch and since meeting you he hasn’t been able to blow a decent load without imagining it’s you squeezing him so tight. Really, the only reason he made it this far is ‘cause first date jitters are a bitch and at the very least he has the decency to let you know he likes you first. - But then you show up in this cute little dress that keeps riding up your thighs when you walk, and the way you pout as you try to pull it down has his head feeling all fuzzy. He tries to stay cordial as he opens the door for you to slide into his car, but the way you smile up at him as he closes it behind you has his resolve breaking into pieces. Lucky for him you’re perceptive enough to notice the literal dick print in his pants the moment he climbs in; and he lights up like a Christmas tree when you suggest a quickie before dinner. Spoiler alert: It won’t be a quickie. Get your refund back on that reservation, sis.

Atsumu |Run Time: The first date| You can’t blame the guy for being shamelessly attracted to you, can you? Who cares about old fashioned courting! It ain’t worth the money if you ain’t walking funny? - All jokes aside though, he’s a firm believer in if two consenting adults like each other enough, they should be able to fuck whenever and however they want. Doesn’t find you any less respectable for letting him put your legs behind your ears on the first date. Although that was after he’d already bent you over in his car, folded you over his kitchen counter, and had you leaving drool stains on his hallway area rug. Eh, you’ll plan your next date in the shower - little hard to talk though with your face pressed against the glass.

Matsukawa |Run Time: Scheduled a time and place for you to link before hand| Hey, if you wanna turn this thing into a relationship then he’s up for that too. But he’s not gonna stress himself trying to hold back from fucking your pretty little brains out. Soon as he gets the O.K. he’s picking a time and place and hightailing it over with no stops in between. And he’s not bullshiting when he says he’s gonna fuck you stupid. The guy digs you out like he’s trying to ruin you for anybody else. But it’s not entirely his fault! He gets sick of carrying that meat missle around too 😔

Hanamaki |Run Time: Straight up just asked if you’d let him| Hedonist to the max. And no shame either. The moment he gets the feeling that you might be sexually interested in him, he’s diving in with no goggles. I mean, obviously he cares about your interests and your pursuits in life; might even think you’re nice enough to take home to mom’s one day. But that’s not what his mind’s set on right now. Only thing in his head is if he should start with collapsed doggy or drill you in from the side just to get you drooling for him that much quicker. But hey, dick was so good you forgot he don’t got a job!

Honorable Mentions!

Sakusa (Surprisingly)| Comes off as a prude because he apparently has “High standards.” Can’t admit that if he finds you attractive enough, he’ll just straight up fuck you. |

Terushima |Likes to “Do you like my tongue ring?” Himself into some pussy.|

Sugawara | Plays the part of a good loving school teacher just looking for a companionship. Gives it up as soon as he sees you’re into him.|

Osamu | “m’not a scrub like my brother.” No, baby, you’re a whore.|

And finally number one…

Suna! |Run Time: Text him at 3:00am and he’ll be there by 3:05am| Standing at 6’3.2 and 176lbs, you have caught the affection of a man who truly believes that “a hole is a hole” once he’s found himself physically attracted to someone. That’s not to say that he’s particularly loose with what he’s got but if you’ll take it? Once hiked to your place in the middle of January with basketball shorts on ‘cause you sent him a “U up?” Text in the middle of the night. Woke up the next morning with a fever but god was that pussy worth it. Fucks like he’s trying to prove something so you’re in remission for the next couple of days afterwards. And then will have the nerve to wanna be the little spoon after the fact. - Tries not to look as elated as he is when you finally tie him down but with the way he turns your insides into mush the night following, you can tell he’s pretty excited to finally call himself your boyfriend.

reblogs are appreciated 💕 ps, tumblr pls suck my balls? 🥺

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lilacrwses · 2 years

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▸ someone asks his s/o out

ft. multiple characters

genre: fluff, crack

notes:reblogs are a big help:>

Would probably be the most calm among them. He would let you talk to the stranger, would be there if you'll be needing help. If the person asking you is persistent...then let's just say he's gonna be less as calm as before.

“I'm not sorry but my s/o has already told you that they're not interested. Why don't you go ahead and flirt with somebody that isn't taken, hm?”

AKAASHI, TSUKISHIMA, Sugawara, Suna, KITA, Asahi, Megumi, Terushima,

He'd be the one to give the stranger a unfriendly smile. I'll tell ya he has his eyes closed in a smile, it's probably creeping the stranger out. So before you could even reject him he'd be already scratching his nape in embarrassment slowly walking away from you.

“Well would you look at that, It hasn't even been that long since I've left you alone but you already have some ugly ass strangers flirting at you? Better keep you by my side baby, wouldn't want you to be with anyone else would I?”

KUROO, Tendou, Tsukishima, ATSUMU, Gojo, Geto, OIKAWA, Suna,

This mf doesn't even know that someone is flirting with you. You already told the stranger no multiple times but he wouldn't just go away. You'll either go to your boyfriend's arm and cling onto him or he would finally notice and teach the mf a lesson.

“What's up darling?-- Oh hello..? , I don't remember you being anyone of my s/o's friends, and I don't really know why you keep on bugging on my s/o either-- Although I appreciate it but you should be apologizing to my s/o not to me.”

Bokuto, USHIJIMA, Kenma, Sakusa, IWAIZUMI, Kageyama, NANAMI, Kita, Itadori, YUTA, Yaku

The moment the stranger steps closer to you it’s already finished. If the stranger would forcefully grab your hands he wouldn’t hesitate to throw a punch for you. Convinces himself that it’s self defense, probably would regret it a bit when he gets in trouble for that. But Hey! At least you’re safe.

“I hope that there won’t be a next time but if you even try to think about it I’ll be sure that you’re nose isn’t gonna be the only one that’s bloody.”

Osamu, MEGUMI, Atsumu, BOKUTO, Daichi, Geto, TANAKA, Ushijima, KYOTANI, Matsukawa

Would film the whole situation and would report it to the station after. The stranger apologizes but he’ll still report it.💀

“What am I doing? I’m obviously documenting this. You’re harassing an innocent citizen. Yeah you’re sorry, but I’m not. — Hey baby, are you ok?

SUNA

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sucka4pain · 1 year

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𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬! (Ft. Black fem & male y/n)

Disclaimer: these tweets are from real accounts and I just put haikyuu characters and what user they would have so the original tweets are not mine!!

A/n: lowkey might make a part two who knows🏃🏻‍♀️

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emmyrosee · 2 years

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At work, thinking about the beefiest boys in haikyuu, here’s my compiled list. In no order, but Osamu’s first bc we’re married

1.) osamu miya, biggest thickest boy in the game. Could crush you with one thunder thigh. Works out 23/6.5, only stops to eat food and kiss you. Has, in fact, bench-pressed you once as a point, threatens to do it again when you get sassy. 100/10, my factual husband.

2.) Bokuto, hunkiest himbo with an absolute mammoth of a body. Has absolutely no issue with lifting you up and onto his shoulders at any given time, even in stores to reach something. He pouts as he gets yelled at by the employees, but smiles when you tell him you had fun. Only slightly pouty bc he works all that beef off in practice and knows how much you love it.

3.) Ushijima. Boy could swallow you like an anaconda. Will suffocate you in his chest and pecs if you ask him for a hug. Likes laying on top of you like a big lap dog and you don’t mind seeing the gates of heaven as he does. He’s so pretty. God I’m in love with him. 10/10 man.

4.) Iwaizumi, the OG hunk with the dump truck. Literally so big he, in fact, has to turn adjust his seat in every car he’s ever been in. His shirts absolutely devour your frame, and it drives him wild to see you in them. Will not take you when he goes clothes shopping because the way he wants to Hulk out of everything he tries on makes you froth.

5.) Sakusa. I swear to gOD THAT MAN IS BIG. Whole Instagram explore page is people doing deadlifts and recipes for protein snacks. Palms volleyballs just. Causally. Like anyone can do it. Can cup your hands in his paws effortlessly, and when you annoy him, he just lays his palm on your face with a faux-soothing “shhhh…” like that’s a big man. Picks you up causally, either to move you to bed, put you in his lap, or just to make you shriek. Gives you his workout shorts to wear as pajamas, and absolutely laughs when you put them on, and they comically pool around your ankles. He’s big.

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taiyou-hibiscus · 5 months

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Hinata : Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Bokuto : They do!

Atsumu : ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

#incorrect quotes #haikyuu #hinata shouyou #miya atsumu #bokuto koutarou #msby black jackal #sakusa kiyoomi #msby atsumu #msby bokuto #msby hinata #crack

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rishiguro · 1 year

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HAIKYUU BOYS AND RANDOM THINGS THEY DO

a/n: may or may not be inspired by my real life

clears their call history at the beginning of the month

SAKUSA. ushijima. kita. daichi.

keeps starting new series without finishing the last

hanamaki. atsumu. kuroo. HOSHIUMI.

retail therapy

akaashi. HINATA. kenma. oikawa.

stress bakes

osamu. sugawara. BOKUTO. tsukishima.

curses while driving

tanaka. IWAIZUMI. kageyama. ukai. suna.

#₊❏❜ ⋮haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu crack #iwaizumi x reader #akaashi x reader #sakusa x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu imagines

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splitontendo · 6 months

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haikyuu characters as facebook posts

giving no contex, enjoy ;)

ft hinata, matsukawa, hanamaki, atsumu, bokuto, osamu, and sakusa!

hinata

mattsun

makki

atsumu

bokuto

osamu

sakusa

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xenclev · 2 years

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"Damn, bitch. Your pussy open like a cathedral door."

⤷ SUNA, matsukawa, ATSUMU, KUROO, TERUSHIMA, semi, tsukishima, SAKUSA, oikawa

#don't ask me #this was just in the drafts #haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu crack #hq hcs #suna smut #iwaizumi smut #oikawa smut #kuroo smut #sakusa smut #sakusa x reader #suna x you #kuroo x you #haikyuu smut #minors do not interact #q 🦎#leaux needs help

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easybrainrot34 · 5 months

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✨Short lil random headcanons✨

Enjoy :)

Also, I can definitely see some of these headcanons having multiple characters to them, and I could always expand on those later.

Characters : Bokuto, Sakusa, Tendou, and Kageyama

Bokuto prefers a thick gal. Not in a “ya I’m so different I like thicc girls” and then it’s like some girl with a little thigh. No. This man likes the girls with roles, the ladies with stretch marks, the girlies that blow out the inside of their pants on the thigh and then gotta go get the iron on patches bc hey those r the good jeans that fit just right!! U can’t give up on those!! (maybe I’m speaking for personal experience…ANYWAY)

Sakusa has an addiction to sugar free redbull. He is convinced himself that sugar-free makes it not bad for you. He’s to the point where Meian yelled at him bc he almost dropped in practice and when they checked him, his pulse was sky high. Now he acts like a fucking alcoholic the way he is hiding that he is still drinking it. I mean like putting it in a travel mug and refusing to let anyone touch that shit.

Tendou is a true crime bitch. I mean he has a Netflix account solely for the true crime documentaries that come out. Don’t think he’s a creepy one tho, he will go into a 2 hour rant about how disgusting the true crime fans that excuse or even romanticize people who commit horrible crimes r disgusting. He just finds in interesting how these monsters could exist.

After high school Kageyama developed a lactose intolerance. Idk y I think this but it makes me laugh so hard to think about. With the way this man loves milk and then finds this out?? He is absolutely devastated 💀💀 but it’s ok! He ends up being able to, as he says, “coexist and tolerate” vanilla almond milk. He doesn’t care when it comes to food tho, he will suffer just to have pizza.

#haikyuu crack #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi #kotaro bokuto #anime #tendou satori #kageyama tobio #idk man I just got board

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homosubtext · 1 year

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every morning sakusa wakes up and cracks every bone in his body as he gets out of bed and atsumu just stares in horror as it happens

#thank u roob for reminding me that sakusa is a certified Bone Cracking Guy #sakusa after cracking every vertebrae in his spine: ‘good morning :)’#atsumu: 😟😟😟#sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #haikyuu!!#reymbles #sakuatsu

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kiwanopie · 2 years

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The Cat dilemma

“You see this? Ma’ niece sent me this.”

Kiyoomi doesn’t have enough time to dodge the phone shoved in his face before he’s unwittingly victim to some way-too-loud Tiktok video Atsumu’s showing him on his way-too-cracked screen. Some viral meme played under a nightcore rendition of a song too mainstream for him to stomach. But from what he can tell it’s about a cat on a ledge who misses his mark to the next one and smacks its little orange chin on it in the process.

He rolls his eyes before shouldering his friend off. “Jesus, take better care of your stuff.”

Atsumu pouts at him before glancing at his phone a little curiously. “You know I dropped it when ya - Hey, did ya see the video at least?!”

In lieu of responding, Kiyoomi grumbles a little before shutting the locker room door behind him.

Stupid.

It isn’t until the drive home that he even thinks about it again. When his Bluetooth doesn’t connect immediately and the radio starts to play instead. It’s that song again. Not as sped up definitely but he’d know that cookie cutter viral pop song bass and tremble anywhere. It’s stupid how stuff like that gets popular nowadays. Like any sane person can sit up and listen to something like this. But then he remembers that kids exist and they listen to stupid music and intake stupid media and definitely share stupid memes that no sane person would find funny.

Like that stupid cat video.

Kiyoomi turns on his blinker as he merges down the road leading home. Who would even laugh at something like that. Cats do silly shit all the time and you don’t see him blowing a gasket over it. Even if it did kind of hit that ledge at a funky angle. - I mean, it couldn’t have gotten hurt or anything but it… it did make a little glunk! didn’t it…

Kiyoomi purses his lips as pulls into the lot. Okay, so it was a little funny…

You’re the first thing he sees when he steps into his shared apartment.

He bends to let you pull him into a welcome home kiss as he kicks the door closed behind him. Little whispers of apple and honey blending into the strong lemony smell of his shower gel - and it makes him all warm and gooey inside that you’ve made yourself so at home in his absence. He hums as you greet him. Bends for another kiss when you tell him you missed him and pinches you a little on your side when you tease him for being a sap. There’s a knot in his shoulders that he didn’t notice was there that melts away the moment you get your hands on him. And for a moment he forgets about the whole cat dilemma.

Until, “Oh! By the way baby, your sister stopped by to drop off Salmon. Said you’d babysit him while she’s in Ueno with your mother.”

Kiyoomi groans as he shleps himself into the kitchen. He did not give her the O.K. to do that. In fact, he distinctly remembers telling her that No, I’m not going to babysit your stupid cat while you’re out with mom. And Yes, if you drop him off at my apartment anyway, I’m going to tell the people at the front desk you’re a stalker and to call the police next time.

He sighs when he finds the feline in question perched up on his kitchen counter.

“Damn it… Salmon, how many times have I told you not to-“

Oh, he must’ve spooked him.

Because without even a second to prep his little orange legs to jump, he lifts off of the first counter right to the ledge leading to the first floor steps. A clumsy little rocket ship form that kicks his legs lamely behind him, and right as he gets to the edge he’s aiming for - He falls short.

He knicks his little chin with a soft glunk!

It’s not even a second later that you find Kiyoomi doubled over a bathing Salmon, coughing his way through a giggle fit.

#no cats were harmed in the making of this drabble #this might belong to a boyfriend!kiyoomi series I’ve been considering #so #boyfriend!kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu sakusa #hq sakusa #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq crack

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