#we will be trying to update this weekly as usual

[libraryofgage]

Good Vibrations Three

One | Two

I usually try to throw out updates weekly but I got possessed by the muse for Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins and, like, finished the main chapters for that in a daze hfjdk I still need to write the two epilogues, but needed a little break, so here we are!

Part three has Eddie confirming his suspicions, like two seconds of angst that is immediately thrown out the window, and a little flirting UwU

I hope you enjoy! As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ^_^

----

Something hits Steve in the back of the head. He'd be upset if not for the fact that he's facing away from Dustin and gave the kid paper for the express purpose of throwing if he needs Steve's attention. After much trial and error, the system finally works for them.

Steve sets down the plate he was washing (the aftermath of Dustin asking for grilled cheese sandwiches and annoying Steve until he caved) and turns, drying his hands on a dish towel. "What's up?"

Dustin's chest and arms are sprawled across the table, looking for all intents and purposes that he'd collapsed from sheer boredom or frustration. When Steve speaks, though, he sits up straight so Steve can see his mouth properly. "Can you pick me up tomorrow?"

"I thought your mom was."

"She told me this morning that she got saddled with a last minute thing."

Steve frowns, slowly parsing through Dustin's mouth movement and trying to find the shape of words. He doesn't get all of them, but he gets enough to understand the problem. "Oh," he says, "yeah, sure. Right after school?"

Dustin shakes his head, pushing his biology homework away so he can lean forward. "Hellfire is tomorrow. Eddie says it's gonna be in the math classroom. Can you meet me there at 4:30?"

Somehow, Steve immediately recognizes Eddie's name. Unsurprisingly, it makes him think of the guy, and his mind happily offers up the memory of Eddie laughing on stage. Steve struggles to push the memory aside, at least moving it to a corner until he can properly reminisce later.

"Which math room?" Steve asks, hoping Dustin doesn't notice a longer than normal delay in his response.

He doesn't, if his relieved and happy grin is anything to go by. "213," Dustin says. He then pauses, as if suddenly thinking of something. "Also, uh, maybe wait in the next hall or something. Don't let Eddie see you."

"Why can't Eddie see me?" he asks. Has Eddie been complaining about Steve lately? Has Dustin spent the past week listening to Eddie insult or make fun of Steve for...something he did at the Hideout? Did he not act normal enough?

Well, it's probably not that last one. Robin is great at elbowing Steve when someone is talking to him. She's saved him from numerous awkward situations with that move. It's almost worth the bruise he'll inevitably get from her sharp elbow.

"He won't, like, shut up about you," Dustin says, his nose wrinkling some in disgust and distorting the shape of his mouth. He waits until his expression is under control to add, "He can't get over you attending his gig or something. Keeps saying it's weird that "King Steve" likes metal."

"Oh."

Steve feels his shoulders grow heavy, a weight pressing down on him. He can't hear how Dustin is saying the words, and Dustin's expression isn't animated enough for Steve to glean any kind of tone. But experience has taught Steve that Eddie is probably complaining, even if Dustin isn't saying it outright.

Now that he's thinking about it, it probably was weird for Steve to just show up to a heavy metal gig. He's never shown any sign of liking the genre to others before. Then again, he's pretty skilled at passing for completely "normal" to other people. That results in him being King Steve, though, and that version of him might be all that Eddie can see, which would make his appearance at the Hideout pretty fucking awkward, huh?

Steve is so lost in his thoughts and the feeling of remorse and embarrassment and frustration that he almost misses how Dustin rolls his eyes, his shoulders jerking with a scoff. He pays attention just in time to watch as Dustin says, "Yeah, so if he sees you, he'll probably grill you on your favorite bands or something. He's, like, obsessed with figuring out all the other freak things about you. His words, by the way."

It's a lot all at once, and Steve ends up asking Dustin to repeat himself twice before he can fully comprehend everything. Despite the slightly annoyed look, Dustin doesn't complain. When he finally understands each word, that weight lifts from Steve's shoulders, the sudden emotional whiplash making him feel a little floaty.

"That's why he can't see me?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow at Dustin and leaning back against the sink.

"Yeah, it'll take forever. It's like when Mom runs into a friend and just stands there talking for a whole hour," Dustin complains, sprawling himself across the table once more when he's done speaking.

Steve snorts and leans over, ruffling his hair and jerking his hand back before Dustin can smack it. "I promise we wouldn't talk for an hour, but I'm not going to avoid Eddie. If he sees me, he sees me."

Dustin doesn't need to know that a small part of Steve really hopes Eddie sees him, deafness and all. And maybe he'll even like what he sees.

----

Eddie Munson is not stupid.

Well, his grades and teachers would beg to differ, so he'll rephrase that.

Eddie Munson is a fantastic DM, which means he regularly takes a big plot twist and sprinkles hints of it throughout each session of a campaign. Doing this means being able to put those puzzle pieces back together, too, and ensuring they lead up to the logical plot twist. So, Eddie's brain is great at seeing some puzzle pieces scattered around and putting them together to make a complete picture, and he's definitely been seeing some puzzle pieces.

Like Steve Harrington never looking over when Eddie first speaks to him. And the way Steve stares at his mouth, his brows slightly furrowed like he's trying to decode something (Eddie would love for this puzzle piece to belong to a "Steve Harrington wants to kiss Eddie Munson" big picture, but he's not delusional). And how Steve needs to be nudged or needs to see someone before realizing they're close to him. And how he didn't seem to understand Eddie's words until he looked down at a notebook Robin had scribbled in.

And that's not even counting the stuff Eddie Munson noticed about Steve in high school. Steve Harrington walked through the halls like someone was hunting him, his shoulders tense and his eyes always flitting around from person to person, like he was scared of someone sneaking up on him. He always seemed to ignore people when they called out to him, and Eddie had once dismissed it as him being an asshole. Steve never actually paid attention in class, either; he'd spend the whole time doodling in his notebook or zoning out while staring at the wall. He didn't even look up when the teacher called on him, and eventually the teachers stopped trying.

So, yeah, Eddie has slowly started piecing the puzzle together, resulting in a picture that he never would have linked to Steve Harrington, of all people. But it's the logical conclusion. It's the brilliant plot twist that makes so much sense when you review previous campaign sessions.

He just needs to test it, to see if he's actually right or if he needs to review the pieces once more.

Eddie's chance comes after Hellfire Club on Wednesday. Their session had finished a little earlier, if only because the players had gotten through Eddie's planned journey faster than intended. The next part couldn't be stopped five minutes in, so Eddie had called it a day and gone to the bathroom while the others talked about their character progression.

In the few minutes it took for him to piss, Steve had strolled into the school and started waiting in the hallway next to the math room. He's leaning against the wall, head tilted down as he reads a small book, his lips turned down into a slight frown as he concentrates.

This is the scene Eddie sees when he rounds the corner, and before he can really think about it, he scurries back to remain out of view. He's not scared of Steve Harrington. He just knows this is the best chance he's got to test his theory. Eddie glances around the corner, watching as Steve turns the page of his book, and he suddenly wants to know what has captured his attention so strongly.

Eddie takes a deep breath and slides around the corner again, sticking close to the wall to remain out of sight. "Hey, Harrington," he says, his volume normal and easy to hear.

Steve doesn't react. He doesn't even twitch or give any indication that he heard Eddie and simply decided to ignore him.

"Haaariiiiingtooonnn," Eddie calls, a little louder and drawing the word out.

Still nothing. Well. Steve frowns a little deeper, turns the page back, and rereads whatever part has tripped him up.

"Steve, you motherfucker," Eddie says, the same volume as before, and this time trying something that might anger him. "Your hair looks ugly," he adds. It's a lie, of course. Steve's hair looks fantastic, and Eddie wants to run his fingers through it.

No reaction, and Eddie is starting to feel brave. He takes a few steps closer, still hugging the wall. "Oh, Stevie," he says, getting a slight grin, "big boy, sweetheart, darling, pretty thing." The endearments easily fall from his lips, hanging in the air with Steve none the wiser.

So. Eddie thinks it's safe to say his theory is correct: Steve Harrington can't hear. And Eddie is suddenly, achingly curious to know more. He wants to see how Steve, with his perfect hair and his stupid little moles and his blinding grin, navigates the world when he can't even hear it. He wants to know how Steve experiences music; he wants to know how many other people know; he wants to know if Steve ever gets frustrated and what he gets frustrated about; he wants to know if Steve's other senses are stronger to balance out his lack of hearing.

He wants to know everything.

Eddie strolls over, standing next to Steve and tapping his shoulder. He feels a little bad when Steve jerks in surprise, sliding back a few steps and looking at Eddie with wide eyes. "Don't do that!" Steve says, his gaze flitting around the hall before he forces himself to calm down and look at Eddie.

"Sorry," Eddie says, hoping his expression tells Steve just how much he means it. "You didn't look up when I called you."

Steve blinks, his lips twitching into an almost wry smile. "I, uh, was really absorbed," he says after a moment, idly holding up his book so Eddie can see "The Bicentennial Man" by Isaac Asimov on the cover.

"Heavy reading," Eddie says, trying to remember if he'd ever seen Steve read science fiction in high school.

Steve shrugs, glancing at the cover with a slight frown. "Dustin and Will were talking about it a few days ago. They seemed to like it. Figured I'd see what the fuss was about," he explains.

"Is it worth the fuss?" Eddie asks.

But Steve doesn't answer because he's still looking at the cover. A few more seconds pass before he sighs and looks up at Eddie. "It's kind of confusing," he admits.

And Eddie can't help himself. He wants the satisfaction of truly knowing he was right, and he wants Steve to know that he knows what's up. So, he asks, "Are you deaf?"

-----

Steve tenses, his shoulders hiking up, and he holds the book closer to his chest like it will somehow shield him. "What....how did you know?" he asks, deciding he doesn't need to try bluffing. Eddie's voice wasn't hesitant. He already knows the answer.

"Just noticed things," Eddie says, shrugging as he steps closer to Steve and grins.

The thing is, Steve hasn't tried hiding his deafness lately. Sure, he would have rather died in high school before letting someone discover he couldn't hear, but now? Now he doesn't really care. He's faced literal monsters; someone just innocently asking if he's deaf shouldn't result in the spike of anxiety that shoots down his spine.

At least, Steve thought he wouldn't care. Apparently, his body didn't get the memo, and years of habit had taken over, putting Steve on the immediate defensive. He clenches his jaw, forces his shoulders to relax, and reminds himself of Dustin's whole "Eddie seems weirdly obsessed with you" comment from the day before.

"Is that a problem or something?" Steve asks, relaxing his shoulder and forcing himself to stay in place.

Eddie pauses, frowning like he hadn't expected Steve to ask him that. "No," he says, the word a little drawn out based on how long his lips linger on the "o" shape. "How long?"

Okay. Steve can handle this. He can already see Eddie's questions following the same path as Robin's and Dustin's when they first learned he was deaf. "I started losing my hearing in elementary school. It was pretty much gone by high school," he explains.

Of all people, Eddie should be the most understanding, right? He probably isn't deaf, but Steve's deafness is something that makes him a freak. Sure, it wasn't super obvious in high school, but it still has to count for something, right? It has to help erase the King Steve persona from Eddie's brain, right?

"That explains a lot," Eddie says, tilting his head slightly and narrowing his eyes like he's trying to filter his memories of Steve through this new lens. "You don't have hearing aids?"

"I, uh, don't usually wear them in public."

"Why not?"

Steve opens his mouth to answer but stops himself. Saying he didn't want people to know in high school would feel shallow, yes, but it would be true. Besides still needing to actually get new ones, he doesn't have much of an excuse for not wearing them now. He frowns slightly, gripping the book in his hand a little tighter. It must make some kind of sound because Eddie's eyes flick down to it before looking back up.

"I didn't want people to know in high school," he finally says, rubbing his thumb over the book's cover in an attempt to expel some of the nervous energy he feels. "If people knew, especially teachers, my grades and stuff would've been blamed on, you know, my deafness. And then my parents would've put me into a special school for others who are deaf or hard of hearing. I didn't really want to get transferred like that, especially in the middle of high school."

"What about now, Stevie? You're not exactly in high school anymore," Eddie says. And did Steve read his lips right? That was his name in the middle, he doesn't doubt that, but...was it changed? There was an extra movement at the end, Eddie's bottom lip pulling back slightly like a long E was thrown in there.

It's not like he can ask, so he shoves the thought away, thinking instead of his crushed and useless hearing aids. His shoulders slump a little at the thought. "My hearing aids are broken, but I don't have enough for new ones yet."

Eddie's eyes narrow again, and he leans a little closer. "Aren't your parents, like, stupidly rich? I mean, I've been to your parties, Harrington, it's not a small house you've got there. Just ask Mommy and Daddy to buy you some new ones," he says.

Steve blinks, trying to grasp the words while also processing just how strongly Eddie's "cigarette smoke-weed-woodsy outdoor" smell overwhelms him. It's not bad (maybe it should be? Steve doesn't think he's ever liked these smells before), but it makes Steve's head feel fuzzy and slow, like he's trying to wade through cotton balls. He blinks again, pushing through the daze to say, "Can you repeat that? You, uh, you spoke too fast."

The smell recedes as Eddie leans back, his lips quirking up into a smile that's more...indulgent than it is mean. "Your parents are rich. Ask them to buy you new ones," Eddie says.

Okay, that's...significantly less words than Eddie said before. Steve frowns slightly, frustration budding in his chest because he wants to know what Eddie said, not what he asked. He feels like he's being left out of a conversation he's actively participating in, and he has to swallow back his immediate, frustration-motivated response.

Eddie doesn't know, he's likely never spoken to a deaf person before. Steve should give him the benefit of the doubt and a little leeway, right? Honestly, Steve is fucking tired of giving people the benefit of the doubt and leeway, but what else is he supposed to do? Blow up? It would be nice in the moment, sure, but the aftermath? The inevitable apology and the potential indignation from the other person? That sounds fucking exhausting. He'd rather complain to Robin later.

"I want to buy my own," Steve says, knowing his sudden shift in demeanor has been noticed by the confused furrow of Eddie's brow.

Before he can say more, Eddie reaches forward, grabbing the sleeves of Steve's sweatshirt. Based on his surprised expression, it was an impulsive move, but Eddie doesn't let go. He just swallows (Steve should not be staring at Eddie's throat like this) and looks at him. "What's wrong?" he asks, and his face is so expressive that Steve doesn't need to hear his tone to know he genuinely cares and wants to know.

Without thinking, Steve blurts out, "I asked what you said. You just repeated what you asked. I want to know everything you said. Every word. I feel like...like you're trying to dumb things down for me, like you don't think I can actually, I don't know, understand everything. I'm deaf, not stupid."

Eddie's eyes widen slightly. "Oh," he says, licking his lips nervously before nodding. "Okay, yeah, it was kind of mean, though," he admits.

"That's worse, actually," Steve says, frowning and gripping the book tightly once more. "I'll just feel like you're mocking me, or getting off on making fun of me when I don't know. Just repeat yourself, word for word."

And Eddie does. He seems uncomfortable doing so, but he speaks a little slower and makes sure Steve can understand each word this go-around. At the end, he adds, "Like I said, kind of mean. Sorry."

Steve watches Eddie for a few seconds before grinning. "It's fine, Eddie," he says, suddenly realizing how close Eddie has gotten and how Eddie is still holding onto his sleeve. And then, to make sure Eddie knows it's okay, he puts on what Robin calls his Bitch Voice and adds, "Besides, Mommy and Daddy don't need to know I've broken another pair. I'd like to live to see next year."

Eddie blinks when he hears the Bitch Voice and perks up slightly, a grin tugging at his lips and his hold on Steve's sleeve tightening slightly. The awkward moment seems to have passed, and Eddie confirms that by asking, "So, what do you really like about heavy metal?"

"I can feel it. Literally. Heavy metal has stronger vibrations, so I can experience it more easily. I don't really know how the words are sung, but I can feel the beat," Steve explains.

"Then, what did you think of our set?" Eddie asks.

He looks a little nervous, and something in Steve settles, relaxing into place. "Like I said, it was great. Especially your song at the end. I haven't really felt a song like that before. Does your band have more original stuff?" he asks. Maybe he can convince Eddie to record some of their songs so Steve can listen to them. Or, even better, just play only their songs at their next gig.

"Of course we do," Eddie says, standing a little straighter and grinning a little wider and looking at Steve like he's put the stars in the sky. "I'll play them for you next time, sweetheart."

Steve blinks at the word he definitely understood at the very end. Before he can ask about it, though, Eddie glances behind Steve and quickly lets go of his sleeve. Not two seconds later, Dustin shoves himself between Eddie and Steve, looking up at him with an eager smile and bright eyes and Steve has the worst feeling.

"Steve! Can we have a movie night at your place?" he asks as the rest of the kids filter in, pushing Eddie further and further back.

"Sure, but you have to call your parents and tell them when we get to my place," Steve says, incredibly grateful he can't hear when Eddie winces at the cheer that comes from the kids.

And then the kids are pushing him down the hall, undoubtedly arguing with each other about what movie to watch first and not giving Steve a chance to say goodbye, or ask if Eddie was serious about playing for him, or ask if Eddie had meant to call him sweetheart or if that was just, somehow, a mistake.

-----

Tag List (the tag list is completely filled up! There definitely wasn't enough room for everyone who requested a tag orz

Please follow the tag "good vibrations Steddie" or put on notifications for my blog to see when new parts are posted :D)

@hallucinatedjosten, @queenie-ofthe-void, @r0binscript, @jewellthebooknerd, @paintgonewrong, @vacantwatchers, @newagemyth, @gutterflower77, @just-a-tiny-void, @littlebluejane

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#steddie #steddie fic #good vibrations steddie #steddie fluff #deaf steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #steve harrington #stranger things #my writing

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 9

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

Author’s note: anyone else excited for me to actually update?? This part’s a bit short, sorry! Gotta set some things up tbh. I’m so so so excited for part 10. Cassian has big annoying little brother energy in this. Honestly Az does not make an in person appearance in this part, but just you wait 😉

(Masterlist)

The warm water of the shower felt incredible, your mind unwinding as the water falls down your body. Thoughts of last night swirl through your mind, remembering how Azriel’s skin felt on yours.

You start going over the previous night again, from the way his eyes wandered over your body to the grip he had on you on the way home.

You were fucked.

You were pouring shampoo into your hand, trying to decide the odds that this was all a joke to Azriel, when the door to your bedroom opened.

You usually leave the door unlocked because Cassian has to reset the router pretty regularly, but you don’t think much of it until he is swinging open the door to your bathroom, letting in a cool breeze. You stick your head out of the curtain, hiding the rest of your body.

“Cassian,” you hiss, “what are you doing?”

“I don’t like eating alone,” he tells you, shrugging as he peels an orange.

“Cassian.”

“What?” He asks, words garbled from speaking through his orange slice.

“I’m in the shower.”

“So?”

You roll your eyes, pulling a hand out to emphasize your point. “I’m naked. In the shower.”

“There’s a curtain for a reason,” his tone sounding bored of this argument.

“You got a text from Az,” he says, annoyed as he looks at your screen that he can’t view the message. You drop your conditioner at his words, the clang of it echoing in the small room as you bend down to pick it back up.

“Just leave it, I’ll check it in a minute.”

"I hope it's a poem about how beautiful you are."

You roll your eyes, despite Cassian not being able to see you.

"I bet it says how annoying you are."

Cassian's gasp fills the room, "I am not annoying."

You poke your head out of shower, "we have weekly meetings to discuss how annoying you are."

In an act of complete maturity, you follow your statement by sticking your tongue out at him. Cassian holds your phone up to your face, letting it unlock the screen for him.

He sticks his tongue back out at you, "Thanks!"

He starts scuttling out of the room, yelling behind him, "if I'm lucky, you've sent Azzy some classy nudes!"

You start sputtering, yanking the shower curtain away, grabbing your towel, and quickly wrapping it around yourself as you follow after Cassian, not even turning the shower off.

"Aww, in this text he called you cute."

"Cassian."

He starts typing a response, his fingers flying over your phone. You hear the woosh of a sent message, and you stare at him, mouth open.

"What did you send him?"

He waggles his eyebrows, then hands you back your phone.

"You'll never know."

You look down at the phone in your hands, and sure enough, Cassian had sent him a text and promptly deleted it. The sick bastard.

"Cassian."

Your roommate simply shrugs at the tenseness of your tone, "I told him how you love him and how you want his precious babies."

You grit your teeth as Cassian makes kissing noises at you, debating the legal and moral ramifications of murdering Cassian when your phone chimes in your hands.

Azriel: thanks, I like your hair too :)

You look up at Cassian, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You told him I liked his hair?"

"Yep," he says, biting into an apple, its crunch aggrevating some deep part of your brain.

“You’re the worst,” you say, opening your door and shutting it quickly behind you.

Later that night, Rhys decides to stop by to see Cassian, wanting to watch a rugby match on Cassian’s tv. Much to Rhys’s horror, Cass does have the larger tv.

Rhys starts to come in through the door to the apartment, but he can’t get the door opened more than a few inches because of a weight blocking him.

“What are you doing?” You ask, head peaking in the six inch crack of the door.

He looks confused, then looks around. “Trying to come in to watch rugby with Cass.”

“No you’re not.”

He tries to push against the door, but you keep it firmly in place. “I’m certainly trying to.”

“You’re not coming in - it’s girl’s night.”

He looks inside, confusion on his face as he huffs, “I see Cassian over there.”

“We voted to let him stay.”

Rhys looks offended. “And why not me?”

You lower your voice, leaning in closer to him, “because Feyre doesn’t invite boys she wants to talk about.”

His smirk grows predatory, as he surveys Feyre, Mor, and Cassian inside the apartment. “And why wasn’t Az invited?”

Your face flushes with heat, “we didn’t think it was his scene.”

Rhys snorts, leaning against the door frame. Knowing Rhys, he’d stay there until he got what he wanted to hear. “Az loves gossip more than anyone. Tell me why he isn’t invited and I’ll leave you be.”

You two glare each other down, a sight which must have looked quite amusing to anyone who didn’t note the seriousness of both of your faces.

You mumble out, “we don’t invite boys we want to talk about.”

He puts a hand around his ear, “I’m so sorry, dear, what was that?”

You grit you teeth, looking upward in hopes a god or a titan or someone would smite Rhysand and his stupid smug grin on the spot.

You let out a long breath, trying to let all the anger out so you can say distinctly, “we do not invite the boys we want to talk about.”

His eyes dance with amusement, his weight dropping from the door almost causing you to fall. “Well why didn’t you just say so? Maybe we’ll have a boys night - talk about you divine feminine creatures.”

He starts strolling back down the hall, “tell Cassian he’s welcome to join us.”

You close the door on him, dead-bolting the door so he can’t come in, turning back to reclaim your spot next to Feyre on one of the couches, Mor and Cassian next to each other on the other one.

“Now, I know we all gathered here to spend time together, but I showed up because I wanted someone to tell me what the hell is going on between you and Azriel.”

Mor stabs her teriyaki chicken with her fork, pointing it at you. You choke, trying not to laugh as the chicken falls off the fork back into the takeout container.

Cassian interrupts, his mouth full of rice as he says, “yeah what’s going on between you two?”

Your cheeks heat, all the attention in the room on you as you say, “nothing’s going on, Mor,” and grab a mouthful of sesame chicken with your chopsticks to prevent them from probing further.

It does not work. Instead, Feyre chimes in, “you guys were awfully close last night at karaoke.”

Mor points at Feyre with her fork, “she sat on his lap to and from Rita’s.”

Feyre gasps, sitting up, “you sat on his lap?” Then she looks at you with a mischievous glint, “could you feel him?”

She waggles her eyebrows as you throw an eggroll at her, earning you a soft hey in response.

“Feyre, watch your language around Cassian’s virginal ears.”

Mor spits out her drink, “there’s nothing virginal about what we do at night.”

She high fives Cassian, who is suspiciously quiet during this whole exchange.

“Hey,” you say to him, getting him to look up from his rice at you, “why’d you say it was good that my date was bad?”

“When’d I say that?” Cassian asks, tucking his phone under his thigh.

You roll your eyes, “literally yesterday when Az and I dropped off lunch for you.”

Mor whistles, “Az took you for a ride.”

Feyre’s eyes light up and you roll your eyes at her sing-song voice, still looking to your roommate. Cassian starts fidgeting, unsure what to do with his hands, “uh nothing he just was- kinda ugly.”

Your brows press down in a hard line, “okay, Cassian, he might not have been your cup of tea but he certainly wasn’t ugly.”

“But he wasn’t pretty like Azriel,” Mor chimes in, a smirk on her lips.

You throw your hands up, “whoa whoa whoa, I invited you guys over for chinese food and silly romcoms, why am I being ambushed about Azriel?”

“Because he likes you,” Feyre says, pouring herself a glass of rosé. You look to Feyre, trying to silently tell her you don’t want to have this conversation here with Cassian, but she keeps her eyes on her lo mein, a noodle slipping from her chopsticks.

“Az sure did enjoy you in the Barbie costume last night, babe.” Mor had an absolutely feral look to her as she starts, “I bet he had a fun night thinking about it with his hand wrapped around his- hey!”

You threw a pillow in her direction, trying desperately to get her to shut up.

“Hey, even Cassian thinks you guys would be cute, and he isn’t the most observant.”

Cassian picks the pillow up, hitting Mor with it again. “Thanks, Mor.”

“You’re welcome, baby.”

You turn to Feyre and the two of you make kissing noises at each other, then direct them at Mor and Cassian.

“Hey, we’re mature adults who just fool around. And do you know why we work so well?”

You put your head on your hand, looking up to Mor, “oh wise and beautiful Mor, please tell me why you and my roommate are so good at having sex with each other.”

Feyre snorts, but Mor responds, “because we talk to each other. We’re adults.”

“It’s different,” you say, going back to your chicken.

“How is it any different?”

“There aren’t any stakes for you two,” you say, and Feyre nods eagerly. “There aren’t any emotions - you two just have sex and you know that’s what you both want.”

Feyre nods enthusiastically, and you narrow your eyes at her, “and why aren’t we grilling you about the other boy? Hmmmm?”

Her cheeks blush, as her mouth opens and closes, trying to form words.

“Because she didn’t spend all of karaoke night whispering to him. Especially not during my performance.” Cassian ends his words with a huff, taking a swig of his beer.

“You mean our performance?” Mor ask, “we made it what it was.”

Cassian rolls his eyes, but lets it go, pulling his phone back out. “I’m going to order more Chinese - anyone want anything?”

Everyone’s responses echo, but you make out both Feyre and Mor asking for more crab rangoons.

Cassian lets out a soft, “it’ll be here in 30 minutes, let’s start this chick flick.”

Mor smacks him on the chest, “Pride and Prejudice is not a chick flick! It is cinema!”

As Mor and Feyre try to convince Cassian that he will love Kiera Knightley, your thoughts linger to the other side of the wall you shared. You wondered what they were up to tonight, what Azriel was doing, if Cassian and Rhys give him a hard time about you.

Of all the thoughts you had of them, the thought hadn’t occurred to you that Cassian would be texting Rhys updates throughout the night.

#acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel #azriel fanfic #azriel fluff #azriel x y/n #acotar writing

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 04

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none for this chapter :))

Words: 3632

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143

A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for reading my story, I take the support I receive close to my heart. The next two weeks I'll be away so I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update, I'm sorry if it causes any inconvenience for anyone. I'm worried that the chapters will lower in quality if I rush so I'll be taking my time with it. Please take care of yourself, xoxo

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

„We will figure something out then, okay?” Answered Namjoon after a short pause. Nodding lightly, you once again rested your cheek on his chest, just letting him hold you for now.

The other men had a much harder time containing their excitement thought. While the pack alpha acted chill and laid back, they didn't bother covering up anything. Their whispering wasn't making it easy for you to pick up on their words, but you could smell the happiness, so you could guess.

You felt happy too, in a way. You had no idea what was awaiting in the future, but you wanted to explore and develop along side with them. You still had a long way to go. You have never been properly courted before, the only pack you were ever part of was your family pack, which you weren't in for over two years now.

It wasn't something you were proud of. It was always frowned upon for omegas to not have a stable pack. Usually, people mated only within the pack that they were apart of. Once they found someone they were potentionally interested in, the lower second gender individual entered their courting mate pack.

Sometimes, when a bigger mate group started forming and an alpha well enough to support and lead the pack appeared, the whole group of mates broke off their earlier pack and formed a new one.

Therefore, an omega without a fully stable pack was considered not loyal, a big deal to more traditionally thinking people. Over the time you taught yourself to not talk about your pack, always cleverly avoiding the topic.

Others often noticed you being unscented, so you would from time to time try to buy artificial scent. It could be in different forms, but mostly, it was a small piece of fabric that was scented profusely. The scents weren't from a real person, it was a fake mixture of different spices, flower smells, and even things like drinks, foods, or parts of nature. This mixture was carefully measured and listed on the label with a small letter in a circle next to it. That stood for the different second genders the scent was meant to remind you of.

These small fabric scraps could be inexpensive but very highly priced too, it all came down to the quality you were receiving. If you choose to splurge for once, the small rug would serve you for longer. The clothes you would rub it on, neck or your hair would truly smell longer too. Usually, that still lasted for only about 4 days at most, the lower quality artificial scent completely gone within the 2 days.

You weren't ready to spend over 120 000₩ on a flimsy plastic bag with a 10x10cm square of slightly itchy fabric inside, that smelled so unnatural, it pretty much stank. You did have to purchase one from time to time, but only if the situation really requested it. You just really didn't have the spare cash for that, usually being left hungry for the few following days until your weekly set budget went up again.

Plus, they made you feel quite terrible about yourself. That didn't matter if you were about to travel to a different city, or just take the public bus, or have a longer school trip. It was more than normal for a pack to scent you if you were going to undertake such a thing. All of your classmates were well scented, so you followed along, attempting to fit in.

Being pulled from your thoughts by the pack alpha once again, he softly patted your hair looking at your face.

„Do you want to go to the mall with us now? We can eat lunch there, how about that? After that we can drive you back to your apartment.” Slowly pulling away from the warmth he brought, you sat up and nodded. Not really sure what going to the mall would mean you just didn't want to upset them by rejecting any of their ideas.

„Hobi, Koo and Yoongi are at the studio now, they are finishing up some stuff, maybe they will join us later okay?” Listening to Jimin closely you did faintly remember the three alpha's leaving the house sometime in the morning after you ate. They did tell you soft goodbyes back then, but didn't prolong the exit too much. Since you were mostly focused on the movie at that time, they didn't want you to become upset from their sudden absence.

Standing up with them, you all started getting ready. You didn't have much on you at the moment, only coming to the packhouse with a wallet and keys, so you just went on to pull on your jacket, scarf and boots.

Tying the gray knit around your neck, you watched how the other man got ready, grabbing long coats, puffer jackets and warm hats. Bending to tie your shoelaces, you were too slow, warm hands already finishing up the bow knot. Startled, you gripped your fingers lightly squeezing each one in a pattern.

Standing up after kneeling down Taehyung stood taller than you, the high heel boots he wore only adding to his height. Zipping up your jacket all the way up to your chin, he smiled with how your cheeks poked out, appearing bigger.

Squeezing them he cooed loudly, making your face turn just a bit pinker. Huffing, you lightly slapped his hands off, whining. Suddenly, Tae was in your bad books, how could he make fun of you like that?

Whining louder at his chuckle, you rushed towards Jin who was holding the door open for you all. With the two alpha's already gone you also walked outside, the cold air hitting you just as it did yesterday. Snowflakes weren't falling at the moment, but according to the forecast you watched on Saturday, it will start snowing again eventually.

Walking towards the already started car, you followed the footprints stepped before you. The vehicle was a Kia, black and quite large, pretty much a mini van. The snow crunched under your feet as you walked towards the door, pulling at the handle. Tugging the heavy thing open, you slowly climbed in, looking at the layout before deciding where to sit.

The seats were made out of light tan coloured leather, and felt bit cooling to the first touch. Gripping onto the handle, you were going to sit behind the driver seat, only to be pulled back by your hand. Softly landing in the middle seat, you looked at Jimin who was sitting by the wheel.

„Sit here princess. We can see you better this way, do you understand? It's for safety, come on, buckle up now.” The said alpha said calmly, turning in his seat to pat your knee lightly.

Growing only more annoyed by this, you just wanted to sit next to the window, was that big of a deal? Still, you just whined and did what the alpha asked for.

„Good girl.”

Looking up, you met eyes with Namjoon, and after a second of the sudden stare contest, you looked down at the seatbelt you started to pull at, ignoring the soft flutter you felt in your stomach.

Sliding into the seat next to you, Jin closed the doors after himself with a loud bang, followed shortly by Tae climbing in and doing the same. Sandwiched between the alphas, you shrunk into yourself, feeling small.

„Awhh, are you still mad at me?” smiling at you, you turned to face away from the man, choosing to instead watch out of the window as Jimin started backing out of the drive way slowly.

„Is everyone buckled up? Do you have everything?” asked Namjoon from the front seat, turning to look at all of us. Reaching his hand to pull at the belt around your shoulder, deeming it secure enough when it didn't move.

Nodding you answered just as everyone else did, so the car got on its way. The neighborhood the pack lived in was a luxurious one, not shocking you too much. You knew about their music, nowdays it was basically impossible to not know. But still you never payed enough attention to be aware of any details what's so ever. You didn't really know their names before hand, only hearing few songs in the radio or seeing them on billboards. You never really took a great interest in K-pop, only a small bit. Western music was more your style.

You always wished to travel to a western country, like the USA. You loved snow, so something like Alaska was always a part of your dreams, sadly, never achievable. You studied a major that made your future well above uncertain and risky, but still you hoped to make it one day.

The competitions you signed up for were not always too successful for you, but you loved the process of creating anyways, so you eventually always came back to them, even if you were disappointed with your results last time.

Your work ranged across many mediums, going from painting on big canvases to drawing, sculptures, or printing techniques you explored in some of your lessons. You loved all of it, often showing some of your projects to people who offered to listen in, even if there weren't too many. You didn't have a lot of friends, practically none.

The classmates you shared were often time bit too rough for you, and you still had hard time adjusting to living on your own, so going out to meet with new people was absolute no for you. You somehow always wished for it though, no matter how introverted you were.

And so with a soft music playing in the background from the radio, you felt at peace for once.

Finally, you had someone who was willing to help you, to hold you in your hardest and cherish you at your worsts. There was a coldness at the bottom of your heart, reminding you that any of the short term relationships you worked hard to form with some of your class were never truly real. They never included any of what you had with the packmates, confusing you further. Were they never actually real?

Still, you had a few you trusted, occasionally coming by to talk to them, even if they never came to you by themselves.

Streets passed by, the road was calm even if it was snowy and icy. Jimin was driving slowly, making sure to slow down before any curves to avoid any possible danger.

„Hyung, we have to take her to the Cheongdam-dong, let's go to the mall after.” Said the youngest from next to you. While you weren't that well set regarding your money, only getting payed small amount from your family as a compensation, you knew the Cheongdam-dong street. Filled with stores like Prada, Burberry, Chanel, MIU MIU, or Gucci, it was absolutely not what you were expecting to go down.

 You thought the men would take you to the mall, mingle around in new sections of the stores, you would maybe buy a lunch later and then be on your way. This seemed different though. Why would you even go there, you could never ever afford anything from such luxury brands.

Since your school hours usually started at around 8 and ended after 17, you didn't have much time or energy to do a lot after that. You could take on a part time job, and you emailed a lot of places, but after they realised you were an omega and with no pack alpha they usually stopped communicating. There was a lot of papers that needed to be signed by the pack to get the omega to work, even as a part time job at a local café. 

„Cheongdam-dong street? Why?” The discomfort in your voice was well above obvious as you looked at the man besides you. He way excitedly looking at Namjoon, smiling with his teeth showing. He was wearing a long coat and a cashmere blue and red scarf around his neck, left loose to dangle on his torso, looking chic and elegant. An outfit nice enough to go shopping in such brands, yours on the other hand was far from it. 

You did freshen up before leaving today, but you still wore the same clothes as you did yesterday and you weren't sure if the wrinkles would be appreciated. You could bet you would get kicked out before you would even try to enter.

Instead of turning to Tae, the highest ranking alpha turned to you. Watching you with soft gaze, he let his gaze linger for a minute before speaking. Namjoon was already set on starting courting you, and he wasn't about to back down. Especially since he knew that you were interested yourself, and his pack wanted just the same. 

„It's okay pup. We can just look around how 'bout that? Don't get worked up baby, let's just enjoy our day yea?” with his dimples showing, you allowed him to carres your cheek, leaning into his touch slightly. 

„I'm sure you will love it cub, the new winter collection from Dior has some really pretty jackets. Maybe you will find one you like.” Looking up at Jin he too only returned it, his eyes soft and warm. Nervously looking around, you weren't too sure about this. 

„Gucci has a new one too, did you see some photos? What did you like the most? I'll take you there so you can see, okay babycheeks?” Tae said, pulling out his phone before showing you a photos taken from a runway show. 

They were from his Camera folder, meaning that he himself visited such event, shocking you for a second. The intimidating looking women and men wore oversized suits with sunglasses, colourful patterns coats paired with just as bright pants, barretts, fur coats that dragged after them and maxi dresses. 

Leaning closer to the alpha, you watched the many photos he must have taken. When you were younger, you did look at fashion magazines, watching the makeup looks they wore confidently and the new silhouettes the current trends offered. Your mother always took you away sooner or later; whenever you asked to buy such magazines, they were always too expensive, was the reply.

Your grandmother did have sewing patterns and books on different techniques and guides for such things. In those old booklets, there was an occasional drawing of the clothing article, modelled by a girl. You always settled for those, flipping through the pages quietly.

After you got older, the fashion world just got a bit too much for you to keep up with, so instead you chose to buy what you found comfortable and interesting at the moment.

Only meekly nodding, you sat back comfortably, just as Jimin started to park the car. Stopping at a bit of a busy street, the alphas didn't step out immediately; instead, they pulled on different hats and sunglasses, pulling up face masks over their noses.

Before you knew it, a hand underneath your chin turned your face to the eldest. Pulling a soft pink face mask over your nose, he tucked the strings over your ears. Smiling at you with his eyes, he booped your covered nose while cooing.

„We need to keep you covered up, cub. We don't want to share!” His laughter got louder, making you smile lightly. With the seatbelts undone, you all piled out of the van. After locking the car, you all waited for Jimin before walking on the pavement. A lot of people were around, bundled up in soft-looking jackets. You did so too once the cold wind hit you.

A warm hand took hold of yours, warming you up slightly. When you looked up, you were once again met with the dragon eyes of the pack alpha. With your hand and cheeks warming up, you looked away.

„I don't want to lose you, pup. Stay in sight, okay? Don't wander off too far; stay with alphas for now.” Feeling able to only nod, you felt his fingers squeeze around yours before he pulled your hand with his in the coat pocket.

Walking at a calm pace, with Taehyung leading the way, you four followed closely. Watching the cars pass on the busy road, you noticed a few limousines here and there. You kept to yourself, only stopping for a millisecond to stare. Even that was easy to notice for the older man, who laughed loudly.

„I'll take you in one some day, okay? I promise, baby cub.” You didn't take it too seriously, so you only nodded. With the first luxury brand shops in sight, the small group you were a part of walked towards the first one. A tall, white architectural structure captured your attention well enough before you entered. The shapes were curved and stood tall with a simple black name planted on the front, spelling out DIOR.

The doors slid open, allowing the cold air from outside in, but after you all entered, they quickly closed again. With two guards standing next to the exit, you immediately felt watched and stared down. Before you had time to get anxious, a hand on your lower back lightly pushed you forward.

Jimin smiled at you; his soft palm slid over and stayed on your waist. Ushering you forward, you noticed Taehyung and Jin wandering off towards different sections, only to have sales attendants rush after them.

You knew that Dior was a luxury brand, but you didn't know that the inside would be so grand. You should have expected it based on how the outside looked. Right opposite the entrance was a wide and curved staircase to the left leading to a second floor. With two mannequins standing next to it, they were both clothed in the new season's styles. The one further from you wore a soft-looking checkered jacket with light tan accents and a long, pleated beige skirt. With a white turtleneck and a bag in hand, the outfit did look quite nice to your eyes.

The other figurine wore a more daring outfit: a brown leather coat that went below its knees was left open. A fur cuff around it was cheetah-patterned, matching the cheetah-print Barret she wore. Underneath, she wore a soft baggy sweater vest with a crisp white shirt left untucked underneath. A pair of loose-fitting black trousers went over her feet, so the tall heels she wore just barely peeked out, making the mannequin appear taller than she was.

The white marble flooring was shining brightly under the strong lights, reflecting everything on it. Pulling you along, the men lead you towards one of the jewellery and purse showcases. Kept under a glass, there lay many handbags, set up in neat lines. Some were small, some bigger, and they all seemed a bit too much for you.

The necklaces were mostly spelled Dior and made out of rose gold; there were also many bracelets shown. With the same logo, you liked a few but didn't dwell on them for too long. There was no way you could wear any of this stuff, so why look too closely?

Allowing the alphas to pull you through the store calmly, whenever a sales clerk appeared, they were quick to wave them off. You felt out of place, but the warmth their hands provided made you feel better, so you just complied and went with it.

Occasionally stopping, they took notes of where you were looking; if you watched over a pair of heels for a bit longer, a ring, a bracelet, or just a simple sun hat, they were quick to remember.

Eventually, you three walked up the stairs to where the clothing section was. This wasn't like the usual store you knew, where the clothes were filled with all different sizes and the clothing racks were full. Here, there were only a very few items, usually kept in one or two sizes.

You didn't have much time to look around closely before Taehyung walked towards you, with two store workers quickly trailing him. Both of them, the girl and the man, had their hands full with stuff. From bright colours to softer stuff, there was a lot they held. Taking a hold of your soft cheeks, the wide boxy smile was all you could pay attention to.

„Here, babycheeks, I found some stuff for you to try on. Why don't we do that now? Will you do a nice fashion show for your alphas, my good girl?”

„Ah, Tae, that sounds just like the best thing ever. Here princess, the changing rooms are this way. Did you already select the right sizes for our baby?” Jimin asked his younger packmate, who nodded quickly.

„Of course, don't worry. It should all fit, the clerk's chose the sizes. Here, babycheeks, we will sit here for now. You just come out once you are ready okay? Alpha's are right here.”

Pulling open the long curtain, you were lightly pushed in the large changing room. There were a few hangers in there with few clothes already hung up on them. Turning to look at the men, everything happened bit too quickly for you to realise what was going on before you were already standing in the changing room.

Before them stood a few leather armchairs, already occupied by the pack, while Namjoon and Tae had his knees spread, Jimin chose to set one over the other and rest that way. Meeting his gaze once again, the man spoke again.

„Don't worry baby, we aren't going anywhere. Be a good girl now and go try on some stuff okay? I'm sure you'll like it.”

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Next:

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts a/b/o #bts imagine #bts omegaverse #bts jimin #hybrid bts #bts namjoon #bts ot7 #bts taehyung #bts yoongi #bts fic #bts jungkook #bts hoseok #bts jin #kim seokjin #bts seokjin #min yoongi #bts suga #jung hoseok #bts jhope #bts hobi #kim namjoon #bts rm #park jimin #kim taehyung #bts v #jeon jungkook #bts kookie

[nervocat]

how about a reader who fell in love with neuvi from the first moment they saw him? Like its one side thing and reader wants to become closer with him, but tries not too force him.

Honestly, this request feels like for not just one part, but do as you wish)

P.s. i haven’t seen such fanfics sadly… usually reader catch feelings after some time but what if this time reader like him and wants him to love them? Like how can we win this softie’s heart? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Sry for strange request, its in my head for long time already ><

“A cat brings you the book that you had requested from the library. Sorry for the long wait, the owner was busy . . . ”

★ — NOTES: the final request is done! Now I can start working on my series soon enough when the poll is done. Also I might've strayed away from some of the topics in the request, but it still has the same premises, so I hope you enjoy the long awaited (and much overdue) request :DD sorry it's so short tho ✦ — WORD COUNT: 345 ★ — FANDOM: genshin impact ✦ — CW: none but not proofread and ending kinda rushed

        “Getting to Know The Iudex, Monsieur Neuvillette”

     You knew it was silly, you did, but when you first saw The Iudex Monsieur Neuvillette up close, you couldn't help but fall for his looks. You also knew he wanted to keep the people around him at arm's length, not wanting to be close to anyone, but you wanted to try to at least befriend him.

You first met him during business matters for a person's case, you being the investigator of the case. You were relaying the information to Neuvillette and when you two had a moment of silence to take in the information, you had a chance to take in his features.

He was very handsome and pretty, not that you couldn't see that from where he sits during trials, but with the sun shining through the windows onto his face made it all the more better. You decide to propose that you come over weekly to the Palais Mermonia to keep giving him updates on the case so he can take things into evaluation before the trial — when the culprit is caught of course.

You continue to see each other, the bond between you two deepening, though Neuvillette still kept his distance from you emotionally. The case eventually came to a close, the criminal was found and charged, and the trial was over. You were disheartened and almost gave up as a result, but the Melusines helped Neuvillette open up to you.

When he personally requested you to his office, it was surprising to you. You obliged and did as he asked, and he asked you to be his friend. You happily said yes, and from that point on, you grew even closer with him as you solved more and more cases and came to him to relay more and more information to him about different cases.

He sees how you treated the Melusines and the people so kindly, and you eventually weaseled your way into his heart. Who will confess first is still a mystery, and whether or not Neuvillette will let you in fully is all on him. ✧

🐾 ★ — © nervocat || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦ ☁️

#🗯️ ͏ ͏͏ ͏: ͏ ͏ ͏ garden stories ˑ ִ✷ #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #astronetwrk #genshin impact #genshin #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #neuvillette x gender neutral reader #neuvillette x gn reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff

[tinystepsforward]

i've still been keeping tabs on what's happening at automattic. a couple of things i've observed:

toni schneider (who is a man btw), the interim ceo, has been quite open with staff in ways that mean they generally seem relieved to have him leading the company for now. i've heard people speak optimistically about him from all parts of the spectrum (by which i mean: staff who are trans tumblr users right through to staff who are "anti-woke" or whatever and were absolutely intolerable to work with as a trans person), which seems like... a good sign? maybe.

this relative transparency includes things like weekly updates from an executive level, as well as openly saying that he did have to directly speak to matt and encourage him to, you know, stop posting.

matt is back to his usual milquetoast blogging, and replied to someone on mastodon about the AI issue saying he'd comment on it when he's back in may, so whatever toni said to him seems to have worked for him keeping out of it for now.

people have no idea what it's gonna look like when matt's back.

the best case scenario is that schneider manages to create a significant enough boost in morale and productivity that "it'd be nice if we just kept him" becomes a sentiment that isn't held just by the rank and file. i don't know how likely that is, but there's a sense of cautious hope and of making the most of this reprieve from matt's increasingly erratic decisions no matter what.

the tumblr staff statement was approved by schneider and hr, so i am also hopeful they won't face repercussions. what they said might seem pretty mild from the outside, or carefully worded, but it's pretty clear to me and to most people who've worked at companies like this that it's a pretty bold one.

i'll quote a friend:

keep reminding the more histrionic elements out there that: 1. there really are trans people, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN, in the fight here. 2. we don't have nearly the power they seem to think we do. 3. we're fighting anyway. was the statement we wrote enough? fuck no. does it fix everything? fuck no. but we literally called out the CEO, and got the greenlight for it from the interim CEO. i don't know where this will end, but that's not nothing.

i'm not sure automattic deserves the immense honor of having this many of its brave, dedicated trans staff put effort into trying to make it better. but it has them, and it would be wise to do its best to keep them. so many of us — even me, even now — believe in the ideals that drew us to the work automattic does, and hope that it can return to them. we will see!

other things i want to say:

the wellbeing of my friends on staff is my priority. i am interested primarily in their safety, and won't pressure them to give me goss. the ways i've spoken publicly are already pretty scary to people who might worry about retaliation against them just for being known to be my friend.

this is a regular personal blog. i'll keep updating if there's shit to update about, but i also don't work at automattic any more (thank fuck, again), have a life, and am not interested in declaring matt my specific nemesis or otherwise acting purely out of spite.

some of youse really deeply do not understand companies, the internet, generative ai, or pretty much anything else i've said. that's okay — big tech in particular is fucked up on purpose bc it benefits those in power to have it be incomprehensible! but maybe it's not a great position from which to get mad at me specifically or at staff for idk not personally assassinating matt.

got tired of blocking transphobes so i've turned anons off. i'll probably flick them back on eventually.

#tony muses #tumblr meta #<- just for my blog's tag search

[shigayokagayama]

The Beach Omake And Authorial Intent

initially i was going to save this for a big teru analysis i had cooking however i eventually ended up deciding that it would feel like a really long tangent in its original context and probably deserves a separate post.

when it comes to the whole "teru's parents" thing i generally see two competing ideas on it

a. terus absent parents are the real villains of mob psycho and are the direct cause of everything wrong with his life and any and all teru analysis must center around this fact

b. terus parents being absent in the first place is only revealed in an omake and only exists for plot convenience and is not something that should be focused on at all when writing him

and whenever i see either of these my mind always drifts to the question of authorial intent. i know how people are reading this information, but how are we supposed to? i know death of the author is becoming more of a common thing in fandom spaces (albeit usually misused) but i feel like a better understanding of why this omake exists and how we're supposed to read it might help to better synthesize two takes that seems to be completely at odds with each other.

okay first i want to go over the actual placement of the beach omake in the update schedule of the manga because, unlike most other omakes, i feel like this ones placement in the schedule of page releases is actually super relevant

the vast majority of omakes come at the end of weekly updates. you finish reading the usually 15-20 pages ONE put out and then you get a little bonus comic at the end, usually something funny or a slice of life but but occasionally more serious. multi part omakes are usually spread out over multiple updates, making you wait a couple weeks for a punchline.

beach omake is not that. between chapters 99 (mob gets hit by a car) and 100 (the whole rest of the omake) there was a 6 week hiatus from normal pages and in this hiatus is where we get beach omake. reading it all together immediately cuts away the sort of "slice of life sunday paper comic" tone other multi part omakes have and make you read it as a part of the actual main story, since that's how you're used to reading these weekly updates.

now the actual tone. generally the multi part omakes exist to be long punchlines and the rare emotional ones are a single page for maximum impact. beach omake has a very different structure compared to, say, the haunted doll omake or the pot of happiness.

off the bat from the first two pages there's not really a joke. the tone mostly seems kind of melancholic. mobs expression for the middle section of the second page (maybe purposely) is obscured by the panel breaking off, it's hard to tell his reaction, all our attention is directed at teru. with all of the panels taken up by dialogue (primarily his own), we're being asked to focus on what he's saying:

-teru lives alone

-he lives alone because his parents live overseas

-he hasnt seen them in a while

-he doesnt like having nothing to do

-he doesnt like being alone

all of this information is delivered with an extremely casual expression from him, implying that it's not something that seems ll the out of the ordinary for him. mob, on the other hand...

the hesitation before he says anything and the way his expression is obscured seems to imply something is... off... about this information to him. this isn't a handwaved "oh mob is walking home from school after passing out because he needs to for plot reasons", we're reacting to this information like it's weird.

the next two pages are, mostly, a lot more of what we expect out of a mob psycho omake. the first one works as a standalone joke page, teru is bad at identifying animals which leads to him showing reigen a roach, something reigen is terrified of, instead of a beetle.

the second page starts similarly, we get a dumbass joke about reigen trying to pick up women at the beach (note: i think this is the singular time we get an indication reigen is even into women) but then the next two panels take on a more melancholic tone again. we get a small panel of mob and ritsu playing on the beach and a much, much larger panel of teru sitting on the beach, watching them. the dialogue bubble forces us to pay attention to the fact that he is silent.

the ending of this omake is where we bring it home. generally the last panel centers the punchline of the page, or of the whole omake, but the final panel of this isn't really what was being built to in this case.

we start our second page on teru. his expression is obscured, reigens speech bubble is shoved to the side so we can see that teru's hat is being held in his hands.

when we see his face in full view he looks... confused. he looks like he doesn't know how to react to someone going through all this trouble for him. teru is a character who, up to this moment, we have seen as extremely independent. he always rushes into things alone, he always has to be the hero, he always has to be the one to save the day. hell, this omake is immediately followed by the confession arc. where... you know.

so what are we supposed to get out of this omake?

teru's been doing everything on his own up to this point

but he doesn't have to anymore

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #teruki hanazawa #pic #edit: even though the hair makes this difficult to date timeline wise #i like to picture this as post confession arc #i feel like it makes the most sense

[d4rkpluto]

i've returned to post about a particular subject i've been fighting to or not to post, because i used to consider this person the closest person in my life and i even considered her as a best friend and a sister.

and we have fallen out and apologised to each other many times, but perhaps whenever we argued it was life telling me that she is not supposed to be in my circle. and you could be wondering why am i bringing this up and telling tumblr this but im telling tumblr this to be aware of @couerardent and her scamming behaviour.

couerardent also known as MYSTIICWINTER OR MYSTICWIINTER.

talk about WORSE SERVICE I HAVE EVER GOTTEN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[other people have come to me and spoke about how bad her services were, but i tried to overlook it because i really cared for her, lessoned learn]

i have always been empathetic towards ardent and her money situation, but there are moments when excuses turn into reasons to not do something. on august, i sent alex money because she needed it, but she also said in return she will give me 4 packs she usually gives her clients and she told me she would give me my money back.

first pack is "tell me your story."

second and other packs she hadnt told me what they were but she informed me that i'll be receiving them weekly since august, and now its november.

at first i was empathetic, since i used to be close to ardent, i knew she went through a lot of stuff at home, so i was patient. until august turned into september, and september turned into october and then october turned into novemeber.

and slowly i became annoyed, [as i should] because her services arent even long or good, as someone who gives chart readings to other people that consists more than fourteen pages, the effort to write that would take long, but ardent doesnt even give five pages for her services, three at most, so why is it taking her so long?

previously, she has joked to me about scamming other people, but would put the blame on them and not want to take accountability until they start using threats to expose her, i think she deleted the making fun of scamming them but here is some of it:

and when i would message her for updates about my reading because it'll take months, she would ignore me and even change her pfp on tumblr or discord, until i reach out to her on more platforms to get her attention.

and what would annoy me even more is that she would talk about how she never has something to do or would focus on other stuff knowing she needs to get my reading done lmao and this would be like 1-2 months after i was supposed to receive any of it lol.

worrying about the layout for almost 3 months PLEASE.

i have received 1/4 readings, and that was now almost 2-3 weeks ago, we should've been on my 2nd or 3rd reading by now, the only reason i have received 1 reading is because i did threaten to expose her if she didnt send the money or reading my way, because even i had some issues because living in london has gotten really difficult and i have been trying to support my family as much as i can, but im doing better right now.

its all about the principle. and she has none of that. and even attempted to victimise herself and behave like she was in distress whenever she got called out about her behaviour.

she lost track of time, the time being 3-4 months lol.

and when i was speaking to her she ignored me for a bit again ha, it was almost comedic. for almost two weeks she didnt try and check what i was speaking about.

she has gotten ill, but this was still months after.

and i have remembered, she has used much of her earned money to fund for her nose job but also uni, but during the moments it was best to pay me back was at the job she said paid her well, she informed me that when she gets paid by her job she'll pay me back, and she never did and ended up quitting the job.

[the unfairness i was speaking about is how uni her country dont do student finances, she's from romania, because they do in the uk it was just a surprise].

i asked her recently on how i was supposed to receive a reading but she didnt reply but change her pfp on whatsapp and discord, again.

if there is any confused people comment please because i did this half asleep lmao

#tarot #tarot community #pick a pile #pac #romance #astrology #pick a card #pick a photo #future spouse

[superlarva]

Fives, Tup, and Dogma in a fort!

Soooo sorry about last week, I've been ridiculously busy, but we're back to my usual weekly Sunday updates of Raising Dominoes for the foreseeable future!

Anyways, here is Chapter 8 - Furniture and Forts. It was mostly just an excuse to draw the boys in a blanket fort :)

Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 07 Next chapter: 09

Summary: Tup and Dogma help Fives set up his new room before a power outage frightens them.

CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks, power outages

Chapter 8 - Furniture and Forts

Fives had not been able to fall back asleep after his nightmare, so after Cody left they spent the rest of the morning playing with the toys that Rex had bought the day before. At first Fives seemed to have trouble with the concept of playing. He would just sit in front of the toys staring at them blankly until Rex told him to do something specific with them, at which point he would comply, but after a while he seemed to get the gist of it. He began to make up little scenarios with the action figures and would have them battle each other.

It did not sit well with Rex that fighting seemed to be the only thing his son knew well enough to recreate in play, but Fives did seem to be having fun, so he tried not to intervene. Well, he might have been trying to coax Fives into helping him build a racetrack out of Legos for the matchbox cars, but the boy was too busy bashing the small plastic soldiers together and making blaster noises to notice.

By early afternoon Fives seemed to be running out of energy. The workers also arrived to deliver the boys’ furniture, so Rex turned the TV on to a random cartoon channel and let Fives curl up on the couch and watch it while he helped the guys set up the room.

When they were done the workers left and Rex found Fives still watching the show. He had hoped the boy would have fallen asleep, but he supposed it had probably been a little loud for that.

“Hey, buddy,” Rex sank down on the couch next to Fives.

Fives quickly turned his attention to Rex, television forgotten, “Are they done? Can I see?”

Rex chuckled, “Yep.”

Fives grinned and jumped up. He ran to his new room and stopped in the doorway. Rex joined him.

The furniture was all from the same set, so every piece had the same dark stained wood. It was a little weird to see the room with just furniture and no decorations, but Fives did not seem to mind. The kid was practically trembling with excitement.

Each side of the room had a bed with a bare mattress sitting in the far corner, and a nightstand, desk, dresser, and bookshelf up against the wall. Fives looked up at Rex, “This is really all just for me and Echo?”

“This is your room, yeah.”

“Wow.”

Rex grinned and pushed Fives lightly into the room, “Go on. Pick which side you want.”

Fives looked around the room and took a tentative step forward before looking back to Rex uncertainly.

“It’s okay,” Rex tried to reassure, “Just pick which bed you want to sleep in.”

Fives looked like he was making the hardest decision of his life before stepping over to the bed on the left and turning back to Rex, “This one?”

“Perfect.”

Fives beamed, “Can we-”

He was cut off by the sound of muffled voices:

“No, you have to knock louder, Tup. He’s not gonna hear that.”

The second voice was too soft to hear through the walls, but a loud knock rang through the apartment.

Fives looked up at Rex, his brows drawn together, and a tight frown tugged down the corners of his lips.

“It’s alright, those are my friends,” Rex said, flicking on the light in Fives’s room and motioning for the boy to follow him as he made his way down the hallway towards the door, turning on all the lights as he went. “You remember Hardcase?”

“Y-yeah,” Fives answered.

“These are his little cousins Dogma and Tup. They’re just a bit older than you.”

Fives nodded, but hesitated as they reached the entryway, “Why’d you turn on all the lights?”

“Oh, uh, they don’t like the dark,” Rex said softly, opening the door before Fives could ask why not.

They were met with a scowling preteen with close cropped hair and a boy with longer wavy hair that could have been the other’s twin if he was not a few years younger standing in front of a large box.

It took Rex a second to register, but when he did he grinned, “Thanks. This is your guys’ old stuff?”

The boys nodded.

Rex pulled the container into his apartment, “Awesome. This is great.”

Fives peered out from behind Rex and gave the older boys a small wave. Tup offered a shy smile and inched a bit closer to Dogma, who wrapped his arm around his brother and attempted a smile of his own, but it did not quite reach his eyes.

Dogma craned his neck to see into the apartment, “What were all those people doing?”

“Setting up Fives and Echo’s new room,” Rex said, ruffling Fives’s hair.

Tup’s eyebrows raised in interest. Rex new the look well and smiled at the boy, “If it’s okay with Fives, you guys can check it out. It’s not finished or anything though.”

Tup and Dogma exchanged a glance before looking to Fives.

“It’s okay,” Fives said, shifting a little behind Rex even as the words left his mouth.

Tup smiled and followed Dogma as he made his way into the apartment.

Dogma puffed out his chest and turned to address Fives, “My name is Dogma, I’m twelve years old and 3 months. This is my brother Tup. He’s ten.”

Fives’s large brown eyes darted between the boys, “I’m Fives.”

Dogma and Tup stayed to help unpack and decorate the bedroom. Dogma was helping Rex make the beds and the younger boys were putting Tup’s hand-me-downs in the dresser. Fives pulled out a shirt and passed it to Tup, “Echo.”

Tup hesitated, “Are you sure? You’re giving way more clothes to Echo than to yourself.” Fives shrugged, “That shirt is red. Echo likes red.”

Rex looked over to the dresser and saw that Echo’s was full and Fives’s practically empty, “Tup’s right, Fives. You need clothes to wear too. Why don’t you start putting more things in your dresser.”

Fives’s eyebrows pushed together, and he looked down into the box of clothes, “But- but what if Echo wants them?”

Rex shrugged, “When Echo gets home you guys can trade if you want, but for now you need to give yourself more clothes.”

Fives still looked a little confused and when Tup moved to place the red shirt in his dresser rather than Echo’s, he shook his head.

Tup froze, looking from Fives to the dresser to Rex, who was busy tucking in sheets. Dogma had been listening to the exchange while making Fives’s bed and looked up at the silence. He caught on quick and scowled at Fives, “Rex said-”

“But Echo would really like that shirt!” Fives interrupted, voice hitting a whiney pitch.

Dogma’s scowl deepened and Tup looked like he would rather be anywhere than caught in this crossfire.

Rex looked over and was about to say something, but Fives beat him to it, “I-I’ll take the rest of them, just- just Echo would really like that one.”

“But-” Dogma started, confusion replacing his scowl.

“It’s fine,” Rex interjected, he had heard the panic in Fives’s voice, and he did not want to make it any worse.

Dogma opened his mouth to say something.

“It’s fine, Dogma,” Rex repeated with a bit more force.

Dogma mumbled out a quiet apology and turned back to Fives’s bed, his ears turning red.

“Tup, why don’t you put that one in Echo’s drawer,” Rex nodded to the red tee still clutched in Tup’s hand. The boy obliged and Rex continued, “But the rest go to Fives, okay?”

Fives nodded seriously.

With four sets of helping hands, they were able to finish setting up the room fairly quickly. After learning that Jesse was out taking Hardcase to his drum lesson and Kix had picked up an extra shift at the hospital (which Rex could not help but feel responsible for), Rex insisted on Dogma and Tup staying for dinner. The boys did not complain.

While they were eating Dogma suddenly pointed out the window, “Hey, it’s snowing!”

“Really?” Tup jumped up and ran to the window.

Fives joined Tup, “Whoa, it’s so fluffy.”

Dogma’s eyes darted between his plate and the window, clearly debating something. Rex felt an odd pang in his chest at how hard this decision seemed to be for the kid. He smiled gently, “You can go take a closer look.”

Dogma’s eyes snapped to his, “But we’re eating?”

“The food will still be here after you take a look.”

“Come on, Dogma!” Tup exclaimed, unable to hide his excitement.

Dogma slowly and a little rigidly got up from the table and made his way over to his brother, glancing back uncertainly at Rex every few feet.

Rex nodded encouragingly. He had known Dogma and Tup ever since Kix had taken them in six years ago. The boys had been scared and nervous and so afraid of the dark that they refused to sleep until they all but collapsed. As the years went on, they acclimated to their new environment as well as one could expect, but Tup was still a shy bundle of worry and Dogma was still overly compliant to what he believed the “rules” were. And they were both still scared of the dark.

“It’s windy,” Fives noted.

“Really windy,” Dogma breathed, sounding lost in thought.

Tup turned from the window to look at Rex, his face scrunched up with worry, “Do you think the power’s gonna go out?”

Rex shook his head, “Probably not.”

Tup turned back to the window and Rex grimaced; he could hear the wind howling outside.

The boys had taken to playing in the twins’ room after dinner while Rex cleaned up. From what he could hear in the kitchen, it sounded like Dogma was teaching Fives some sort of card game. Rex smiled; he was glad they were getting along.

As soon as he finished scrubbing the last dish, the lights flickered in the apartment. Rex dropped the plate back into the sink and ran to the bedroom.

Dogma sat cross legged on the floor in front of a game of palace, back stiff as a board, eyes wide and focused on a space just in front of Rex. Tup had thrown himself over his older brother and was clinging to him, eyes just as wide and filled with terror.

Fives’s back was to Rex, and he turned, a frown tugging down the corners of his lips, “What-”

Just then the lights went out and they were plunged into darkness.

Rex moved quickly, scooping up Tup and pulling him into his lap, just as he had seen Kix do a million times before. The boy was already hyperventilating, his small chest rising and falling quickly with each shallow, ragged breath. Rex pulled his hand through Tup’s wavy hair, and exaggerated his breathing in the hopes that Tup would feel it and it would help him regulate his own.

“You’re safe, Tup. It’s me, Rex. You’re in my apartment.”

Tup clung to Rex a little tighter, but his breathing remained quick and shallow.

Rex turned to Fives, whose outline he could see in the dim light from the window, “Fives, there’s a flashlight on my nightstand in my room. Do you think you could get it for me?”

Fives made an affirmative noise and scurried into the darkness.

“How are you doing, Dogma?” Rex asked, turning his attention to the older boy for a moment.

Dogma did not respond, so Rex pulled him in close to his side, “I got you, you’re safe.” Dogma rested his head against Rex’s shoulder and trembled, speaking softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to.”

Rex felt hot tears seeping into his shirt and could not help but feel like he was in way over his head. He had no idea what Dogma was apologizing for, but he supposed that did not matter.

“I know,” Rex said gently, even though did not, “It’s alright.”

Fives reappeared with the flashlight in hand and passed it to Rex. Rex switched it on immediately and it flickered to life, bathing the room in a golden light. He felt Dogma relax a bit beside him and gave the sniffling boy a quick squeeze before turning his attention back to Tup.

Tup was still in the throws of a panic attack and clung to Rex with a force and determination he did not know the ten-year-old had. Rex gently pried one of Tup’s hand off him and pressed the flashlight into it, “Here, have the light.”

Tup clutched the flashlight and slumped against Rex, his breaths erratic as he struggled to calm down.

“Breath with me, Tup. In,” Rex took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly, “Out.”

Rex kept inhaling and exhaling with Tup and eventually got the boy to slow his breathing. All the fight left Tup’s body and he slumped weakly against Rex.

“You want me to call Kix?” Rex asked gently.

Tup shook his head.

“Jesse?”

“No.”

“It wouldn’t be a bother.”

“No. I’m- I’m okay now,” Tup said shakily.

Rex frowned, Tup was far from okay, “You’ll stay here until Kix or Jesse get home.”

Tup nodded against him.

“Um, excuse me, sir?” Fives pipped up from the doorway of his bedroom where he had watched the scene unfold.

“Yes, little soldier?” Rex said the joking nickname coming automatically.

“Can we build a fort?”

“Like a blanket fort?” Rex asked, a little surprised Fives even knew what that was.

Fives nodded, “When we were scared like this, we would hide in a fort.”

“Yeah,” Rex said slowly, wondering how many times the twins had been “scared like this.”

Fives grinned and turned to Dogma, “Dogma, there are extra blankets in the closet in the hallway. We need three.”

The preteen sniffled and wiped his face, but got up and swiftly made his way out of the room, following the orders like his life depended on it.

Once Dogma had his mission, Fives sat down next to Tup—who was curled up in Rex’s lap and did not seem like he planned on leaving anytime soon—and explained his architectural vision for the fort. The plan distracted Tup from the power outage and Rex had to admit that there was no way he could have handled the situation better than his seven-year-old son currently was.

Dogma returned from the dimly lit hallway quickly and handed the blankets over to Fives.

The construction of the fort was left mostly to Fives and Dogma, but Tup did seem to be taking an interest in it. Rex nudged the boy in his lap as the other two finished up the fort and began crawling around in it, “Want to play with Dogma and Fives?”

Tup hesitated, “Can I keep the flashlight?”

“Of course,” Rex nodded, giving the kid a gentle push towards the others.

Tup crawled over to join his brother and Fives, who were now talking enthusiastically about “defense systems” they could put in place to fortify their creation.

Rex could have sworn he even saw Dogma smiling.

@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409

#There are some chapters that actually have Echo in them coming up #Sorry about the wait #the clone wars #clone trooper fives #clone trooper echo #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #captain rex #clone wars #tcw #clone trooper tup #clone trooper dogma #domino twins #baby dominos #superlarva

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 9

Oh wow, a new chapter? Who'd have thunk it.

My posting schedule is all off and I honestly don't know if I can get it back under control. I have no idea when I'll get time to sit down and write and when inspiration will strike, so I can't assure weekly updates. But I'll try my hardest to get this story out! I have future chapters written, it's just that I have no way of connecting them right now :/ Oops.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Ah shit, here we go again. Angst, arguments, jealousy

Word Count: 2,250

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

Some moments are easier than others. Sometimes you feel like you’re not pining like a love-sick teenager enough to think that you can actually do this – you can actually be friends with the man you love.

But then there are moments like tonight.

A few weeks have passed since community get-together, and you and Bucky are the new kids in town. Everyone drops by to say hello, leave you with enough food to last the winter, and invite you both back to their homes for dinner. It’s all very sweet, and you would appreciate the hospitality in any other situation.

But the amount of mothers trying to marry their daughters off to Bucky is insane. 

Several have not-so-subtley seated Bucky next to daughters of marriageable age, while everyone else is silently discouraged from interrupting their conversations. It skeezes you out when the girls are barely out of their teens, but most of the girls are around your age or older. Morality-wise, that’s a whole lot more appropriate. Internal monologue-wise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn’t even begin to cover it. What you feel whenever he laughs at something they say, or looks at them with his intense blue eyes – it hurts. That’s how he used to look at you, once upon a time. Like his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it, like you’re one of the most important people in his world.

To be fair to Bucky, you probably read waaaay more into it than he ever meant. And you only ever really saw that look come out when you were straddling his waist and grinding hard on his cock, skin mottled with his teeth marks and wearing his metal hand as a necklace. 

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Anyway,

You’re usually placed next to older, widowed relatives, as most of the young men in the town have already settled down and popped out a few kids with their spouses except for Petre. Tessa foists the two of you together at every possible opportunity, hoping you’ll hit it off and decide to get married in the near future. 

Petre is nice, smart, cute, but not really your type. You’re convinced that you’ve only ever had one type and he’s off-limits. But Petre’s company is much more enjoyable than the sad, lonely older men they try to pair you with – it never feels great to be compared to someone’s long lost love – so you don’t mind having someone around your age to talk during these things.

Speaking of.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” Petre comments. The night is warmer than expected, but you and Petre are still bundled up in your coats as you stroll through the dead copse of trees near the latest dinner party. The sun had set only minutes ago and the stars are making their presence known. There’s next to no light pollution in this area, so you always take the time to admire the night sky when you have the chance. 

You often take walks with Bucky up and down your street as a way to decompress after your shifts at the HYDRA facility. After the first week or so of being everyone’s errand-runner, they’ve slowly built up your workload to include calculations and deductions based on redacted data – it’s not as much information as you’d like, but it’s enough to build a foundational understanding of what the experiment was about.

You hum in agreement and continue walking. It’s about time to turn around and head back, but you can’t bring yourself to return only to watch Bucky flirt with the pretty girls that were also invited.  

“Is something the matter?” Petre asks you.

You startle out of your petty, jealous thoughts. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” you reply with a smile.

“It’s just that you seem very distracted tonight,” he responds.

With your hands in your pocket, the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders. “Just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” Petre commiserates. 

All of the sudden, a wailing, piercing shriek ricochets between the tree trunks and reverberates in your ears. Tensing with adrenaline, you take two steps forward, ready to intervene in whatever events are unfolding in the darkness.

Before you get much further, Petre reaches out and takes hold of your elbow. Turning you around, he starts leading the way back. You try to tug your arm from his grip, but he holds firm.

“The cry of a vixen who is looking to mate. They’re rather vicious creatures this time of year, foxes. We don’t want to get in her way,” Petre deters.

“But…” you begin, looking back over your shoulders and watching for unexpected movement among the swaying branches. “It sounds so real.”

“Terrifying, really. I was just as concerned when they began, as well.” Petre gives you a tight smile and relaxes his grip slightly when you stop trying to pull away.

“What do you mean?” you question.

“What?” Petre’s eyes flash around quickly, looking through the woods that surround you.

“‘When they began’. What do you mean by that?”

“Ah,” Petre replies. “When mating season began.”

There’s no more discussion on the eerily accurate sound of a woman in distress. You can only trust that Petre would know the local fauna and their habits better than you, since you’ve never spent an extended period of time in areas such as this.

***

The neighbor’s house finally comes into view. A lone figure stands silhouetted against the porch as they lean against the railings, their arms braced against the banister and posture rigid. When you get closer, you realize that the figure is Bucky. 

You can’t see his face, but you can feel his eyes on you. And apparently Petre can as well.

“He doesn’t like me?” Petre asks.

“Why do you say that?” The question puzzles you because Bucky has no reason to dislike Petre. He’s been incredibly helpful so far, allowing you to ask as many questions as you want about himself and others and he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. In fact, you feel as if you and Petre have become friends.

“It just seems like he’s never happy to see me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that – James just has RBF,” you reply nonchalantly.

“RBF?” Petre replies.

You laugh as you and Petre climb the stairs, only now realizing that he still has a hand on your arm. You’d forgotten all about it, but you miss the slight warmth that permeated through your jacket when he removes his touch. You turn to look at him, but Petre is looking away, his hands now deep in his pockets. Turning your focus onto Bucky, you see him watching Petre, his eyes squinted.

A large smile returns to your face as you reach up and grab Bucky’s chin, squishing his cheeks and making his lips pucker from the pressure. “This –” you say triumphantly, “is an RBF.”

Bucky glares down at you and swats your hand away. You cackle at the perfect example of Resting Bitch Face™ in front of you, throwing your head back in joy. When you right your posture again, you can see a small smile on Bucky’s face as he laughs along with you.

“Whatever,” he murmurs. He shakes his head in exasperation before circling his arm around your shoulders. Bucky begins dragging you back down the steps you had just ascended and you grunt in protest. “It’s time to go,” he says simply.

“Ugh, you’re so rude,” you say to him. Craning your neck as much as possible, you look back towards Petre who remains on the porch. “I’ll see you later!” you call backwards with a wave. Petre raises a hand in return, face hidden in shadow as Bucky’s had been.

Focusing back on the road in front of you, you can practically feel what little mirth Bucky had drains away. Looking up, you notice that his jaw is clenched and a hard look has entered his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Now you’re worried that something happened to Bucky while you were gone that has put him in a bad mood. Did someone say something to him? Did one of the women reject his advances? You can’t see who in their right mind would turn him down, but not everyone feels the same way about him as you do. But if it’s the latter, the guilt you feel only slightly outweighs the relief.

“You don’t think you’re spendin’ too much time with him?” Bucky says between clenched teeth.

A frown appears between your eyebrows as you continue to look up at him. “No?” you respond. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,” Bucky mutters under his breath, but you can still hear him.

You slide out from under Bucky’s hold, his agitation sparking flames of your own. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You don’t think you’re leadin’ him on a bit, Y/N?” Bucky asks you.

You scoff. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You’re always hangin’ around him!” Bucky quips back. “You’re flirting with him and walking out of parties together. All these people, Petre included, are going to think you’re pitching for an engagement.”

The hurt and pitiful feelings from earlier tonight come flooding back. Only this time, instead of feeling them for what they are, you combine them with the anger his comment brings. How dare he accuse you of leading Petre on? As if he isn’t doing the same thing to all those girls?!

“And what about you?!” you yell, the last word ripping its way between your lips and setting your tongue ablaze. “You don’t think you’re stringing all these girls along behind you? You don’t have any intention of getting into a relationship with any of them, either, do you?” 

As the words escape, you remember how Bucky sat you down and asked for a friends-with-benefits situation. Said he wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but tired of one night stands. How the two of you could help each other out since you weren’t seeing anyone either. The old resentment towards yourself and how you let yourself fall for someone wholly unavailable whiplashes back into your mind after months of repressing it. 

If he could ask that of you, does that mean he’s asked someone else? You usually arrive home later than him, but on some occasions that you are released early, he’s not there. Instead of asking where he’s been, you had just let it slide since it could have been construed as possessiveness. Like your feelings – that Bucky believes to be long gone – entitle you to his life. You hadn’t wanted to risk anything at the time, but now your mind can’t help running wild at the possibilities.

“It’s not like I’m screwing his brains out every time we’re gone!” You shout at Bucky. You had been walking down the road away from the house party which was on a street with few homes, so there’s nobody around to hear your fight. “We’re not in the bathrooms having quickies, he’s not fucking me against a wall, or bending me over his motorcycle! He hasn’t proposed we fuck around with each other until someone better comes along!” 

Your chest heaves with the effort of expelling these vicious words from deep within your heart, and you can feel a burning beginning to creep behind your eyes. You hate getting angry – hate that any strong emotion makes your eyes well with tears and makes you look weak. And in this situation, you are weak – weak against Bucky, weak against yourself, weak against the knowledge that the one man you’ve ever loved never felt the same way and never will. Your inability to keep yourself from falling for someone you knew you could never have? Your jealousy that he is probably sleeping with one or more of the women in town? That makes you weak. 

And you can’t stand to be weak in front of Bucky again.

“Newsflash, Buck: I know how it feels to be lead on by you and it fucking sucks!” You lower your voice slightly and take another step away from him. “I know that wasn’t your intention, and I didn’t feel that way at first, but that’s how I feel now.”

“You were my best friend, Y/N – I didn’t want to lose that!” Bucky exclaims. “And I genuinely thought we were on the same page!” He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands over his eyes before saying, “And seeing you run off with Petre all the time just reminds me of us – how we’d always sneak away to get some time alone. It’s just –” He drops his hands and sighs heavily, looking up at the star-studded sky and then back down to you. “I’m jealous.”

“You’re jealous?” You ask incredulously. “Why?”

“Because –” You can tell that he’s struggling to get this out, and if he hadn’t started this argument and accused you of wronging Petre, you might have been more receptive to what he’s saying. More understanding. But right now, your anger swallows all empathy and hope that his words would usually supply. “Because that could have been us,” he breathes. Bucky takes a tentative step in your direction, but freezes solid at the icy glare you send his way.

“No,” you say flatly, “No, it couldn’t have. You made that abundantly clear when I asked.”

You turn your back on him and start running, ignoring the sound of your name as you leave Bucky behind.

Part 10

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewifeife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshinee @happinessinthebeingg @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #sorry i love you

[blissfulip]

Dopamine

On AO3:

Viktor x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, dubious science, mostly canon compliant, no use of y/n, chemist!reader, eventual smut.

Cw: explosions (no casualties), rude language.

Words: 1.6k

[A/N: tags and content warnings to be updated in each chapter, updates weekly.]

Part 2 Part 3

Chapter 1: A Forced Vacation

The sound of the blast was loud and echoing, which made Viktor believe the explosion must have happened nearby. Jayce's immediate reaction after uncovering his ears was to go out the door to try to find the source, but Viktor stopped him, reminding him that they didn't know if there was fire or anything dangerous outside. The announcement came shortly after when a muffled voice urged them to evacuate the academy building through the speakers on the ceiling.

"Please remain calm; a small-sized explosion has taken place at the manufacturing facilities; there is a chance there might be potentially harmful compounds in the air, so please make sure to correctly place the gas masks provided at the beginning of the academic term, you may situate them under the emergency equipment cupboard near the main entrance of each laboratory room, we reiterate: please remain calm as you evacuate the premises."

"Small explosion?" Jayce huffed as he retrieved the masks from the cupboard. Both of them did as they were told and calmly but energetically walked down the hallway to get to the main entrance of the building, where dozens had already congregated.

No one seemed to be affected by the recent developments except for Viktor; he even overheard a group of people excitedly chattering about possible places to have fun during their sudden evening off. Interruptions already annoyed him profoundly, but the importance of the breakthrough he recently had made this untimely interference ever more infuriating. He was leaning on a wall, impatiently tapping his cane against the concrete floor, when Jayce decided to investigate the matter, and the expression on his face when he came back was less than encouraging.

"So?"

"I don't think we'll be able to return to work, at least not today."

"What happened, though? What was the explosion about?"

"Uh…one of the quenching systems blew up; not sure I understood the reason why." Jayce hoped Viktor didn't catch on to the reason for his hesitation, but he did; it was a lost cause.

"Ha! I should've known it had to do with the chemistry department; it's almost like she is scheduled to create chaos at least once a month." Viktor started to raise his voice and gesture excessively.

"Come on, Vik, cut her some slack; they didn't expressly say she was directly responsible for any of this."

"When is it not her fault, though? It's almost like she lives to hinder my work!"

"Why are you so angry? Did you misplace your caliper again?" You said, appearing from behind Jayce with a playful pout only to annoy him more intentionally.

"If it isn't the source of all my problems," Viktor said, rolling his eyes.

"What did I do now?" You said, laughing ironically.

"I had an inkling that such a monumental mishandling could only be your fault." he hissed.

"you're wrong as usual, Sparkle."

"You designed those vents!" This accusation struck a nerve in you. And any mood for playful banter had been substituted by indignation.

"First of all, I'm a chemist, not an engineer, so if anything, it's a testament to my brilliance that those scrubbers have been working at all, and as a matter of fact, they would have continued working perfectly if it weren't for you."

"What do we have to do with any of this?"

"The sizing of the quenching system I put in place was appropriate until the hextech team came to be, and you two decided to start pumping out microelectronics all the time, the amount of suppressing agent that has to be pumped through the system to accommodate for the things you have been manufacturing exacerbated the machine, of course it was gonna explode eventually!"

"Why didn't you adjust the sizing then?"

"Because it's not my job! I'm here to research organic materials, not design your machinery. I warned the council, and they didn't seem to care, so if you have a problem, take it up with them for not hiring the appropriate people for the job."

"How can you be so offhand about what happened? This could've been fatal had there been people in the facility."

"Oh, get off your high horse, Viktor, you're only mad because I'm involved, and you're being forced to interrupt your work. Don't pretend like you care."

"Of course I care. Do you think I'm a monster?"

"Of course not. You're definitely well known for being big on safety protocols." You said with a clear tone of sarcasm.

Viktor knew you were right and could not argue against that, but he wanted to retort. He wanted very badly to say anything at all. Unfortunately, you had already turned on your heels to walk away from them, leaving him with narrowed eyes and a deep frown.

"You kind of set yourself up for that one," Jayce said casually. He had been quietly witnessing you two fight as he usually did. Viktor gave him a furious glare as a response and walked back to his dormitories resentfully quiet.

--------------------------------------

Murmurs could be heard coming from the entrance of the laboratory wing. There was a strong feeling of emptiness in your stomach as you approached, that you usually would have attributed to not having eaten anything that morning; however, this time, it was a clear fear of facing the consequences of the previous afternoon’s incident. It hadn’t been your fault; you were as angry as the next person, and for an institution with that many wealthy investors, the Academy had a silent policy of spending as little as possible on as few departments as they could. Everyone knew that with the unlooked-for creation of the Hextech team, the investments in all the other research departments had been drained to be allotted to the council’s golden duo; there had been multiple coffee machine conversations about it. Yet, you were anxious.

They wouldn’t blame you, would they? Viktor did, and if there’s something that son of a bitch was good at beyond tightening nuts and bolts was persuading a crowd. What prevented him from convincing all your colleagues that this whole debacle was your burden? All that muttering was probably him rallying up a crowd to lynch you.

You breathed in. When have you been afraid to face him before? This was unlike you.

I don’t owe anything to anyone. That idiot can badmouth my character as much as he likes, but he can’t argue with the facts.

You relaxed your shoulders and unclenched your jaw.

“Get a grip, damn it!” You said to yourself quietly as you put on a laid-back cast and opened the door to the main hall.

No heads were left unturned when you walked in. Some faces were neutral, some carried the type of warm smile of someone who would be happy to see you, there was that one guy from the poli-sci department who was a tad too smug about your entrance, some seemed worried, and one of them—the bane of your existence—looked at you with a pronounced frown, eyes narrowed, and mouth turned upside-down.

"What's everyone doing here? I thought I was late already. Did I miss a memo?" You said with a casual tone, a painfully obvious attempt at masking the existential crisis you were having just moments earlier.

"Labs are gonna be closed for a month; something about them needing to disinfect and ventilate potential harmful agents from the facilities."

Part of you was glad it had been your friend Moira who spoke up first, but on the other hand, you feared the silence before the storm, and you were soon proved to be justified in doing so.

"I hope you are happy."

"Why would I be?

"You just cost us a month’s worth of work." Viktor sneered through his teeth.

"I'm sure you can afford that. Differently from the rest of the research departments, you don't have the risk of losing your funding if you don't churn out constant developments, so I don't see why you are so upset."

"This isn't the first time you have gotten in the way of my work. You could say I've boiled over."

This is when people started to walk away. Your 'explosive' relationship with Viktor wasn't a novelty to anyone, and they knew better than to try to intervene. It had been more than a year at this point; you resented him for not admitting the preferential treatment they were given by the Academy, and he resented you for some…unfortunate accidents that had delayed his work before. You both knew you had some fault in each of those things, but stubbornness and pride had prevented you from admitting this to one another. To his dismay, Jayce had had to play mediator, the child of a divorce that never happened.

"Except this time, it wasn't my fault, but of course, you'd jump at any opportunity to blame me for something."

"Maybe if you were competent enough to complete the task you were given, it wouldn't have happened."

You were livid.

"I played engineer for a couple of weeks and designed a machine that worked without a hitch for 3 years. You are an engineer and can't get any of those little prototypes of yours to work. Remind me who's incompetent again?"

"Woah, okay, that's enough. Let's all go home and relax, okay?" Jayce said, already dragging Viktor from his cane arm and not allowing him to proffer any of the offenses he intended to.

How dare he say you were incompetent? You were head and shoulders above him in every possible category. Fine, perhaps he had an edge when it came to discipline. And organization. Maybe charisma, somehow everyone liked him. You understood why. He was handsome too, charming even…

Maybe if he— No. don’t even start.

#viktor #arcane viktor #viktor arcane #viktor x reader

[criticsstuff]

Counting the Seconds (Series)

Addison Montgomery x freader

Chapter 5: weeks

Words: 3260

Summary: Back in Seattle you're not just dealing with a tumour, you met a amazing woman that is eventually going to change your life.

Warnings: in this chapter fluff, flirting, exhaustion and neck kissing lol, later I promise you smut, cheating(maybe) and more.

Updates: Weekly ^^

A/n: I UPDATED EARLIER THAN USUAL!!! YAY My writing at the end is really shitty but just ignore it and stay HAPPY. Take care and have a nice week.

Part 1,2,3 & 4 you can find in Navigation

—————————————————————

Rain hit you immediately as you left the house, groaning you took your bag, holding it above your head, shielding you from the rain.

You made quick steps to the car, not wanting to get soaked by the cold water, falling from the sky.

The day Addison came back from her trip, visiting you, it also rained. You smiled to your self as the memory floated your mind.

„What are you thinking?“ Addison asked, staring at you in disbelief. Looking up at her, with no idea what she was talking about, you scoffed. „Honey, you know how important it is to eat. And now it’s even more important, you’re still recovering.“ she lectured you. You wondered how she knew about that. But then it hit you. Meredith.

Yeah she had most likely something to do with that. If not her than Christina or even both. At that thought you rolled your eyes but regretting it immediately after, as you heard Addison softly scoff beside you. You looked at her as she glanced at you angrily.

„I missed you, Addison.“ you told her, smiling cheekily at her. „This is not gonna help you know.“she again scoffed but you saw her smiling as she pulled something out of her bag.

You quickly got into the car, driving to the hospital. The rain constantly tapping against your car, kinda annoying you. So you turned up the radio, listening to the song playing as you waited for the light to turn green. But in your mind the images from 4 weeks ago still playing over and over.

She handed you a wrapped sandwich, looking at you strict. „Now be a good girl and eat up.“she demanded, as she looked down at your hands unwrapping the paper the second she finished her sentence. Luckily she didn’t saw your face right now, you were blushing. You’re whole body grew hot and a tingling feeling spread in your lower abdomen.

She finally looked up for your dismay, trying to catch your eyes as you did the exact opposite, trying everything to avoid eye contact. No one said something, Addison trying to figure out your sudden change in behaviour and you hiding it from her prying eyes.

Suddenly she chuckled, leaning closer and tilting her head as if trying to study you even more precisely. As she said the following words „You’re so good for me“ slow and her voice almost dropping a whole octave. You’re composure failed completely, your hands stopped movement and you couldn’t control the breathy almost not audible gasp leaving your throat. Still Addison noticed every move you made and if not the blush adoring your cheeks would’ve betrayed you one way or another.

She hummed knowingly, as a grin creeped up her face. She decided to tease you a bit more about the new information she got about you. Honestly she enjoyed it too, a bit more than she probably should.

She didn’t waste a second and stood up from the chair beside your hospital bed. She grabbed your shoulders, making you scoot a bit forward. She took the newly place behind you, sitting on the bed with you in front of her, her legs angled on each side of your body.

You didn’t dare to lean back, not wanting to get even more nervous. This woman was driving you crazy. But she wouldn’t have it, not even a moment after she settled in behind you, she gently pulled you back by your shoulders, making sure your body is laying on her completely.

You were stiff for a minute but her soft, warm body and her welcoming smell drew you in, so you let yourself go and cherished the moment. Sadly you were still hot all over and she hadn’t in mind to let you recover.

„You’re really bothered by this. In a good way.“ she said out loud as one of her hands rested on your abdomen. „By what ?“ you asked silently, looking down at her hand. „You know“she hummed, leaning to the back of your neck, skimming her lips over it, till she arrived at your ear, caressing it softly with her nose, making your heart beat faster. „You like it a lot“ she noted „when you’re being called a good girl.“ she whispered her hot breath meeting your skin. You gasped, this time a bit louder. You’re skin on fire and overly sensitive. „So good“ she said her voice low, leaving a kiss behind you’re ear. You tilted your head to the side, you’re mouth practically hanging open as slow long breaths left your mouth. Addison took the hint and left three more kisses on your skin, almost making you moan, since the pleasure was something you hadn’t experienced in your whole live.

„Good to know.“ she chuckled, caressing the skin of your arm with the other hand. She finally decided it was enough, for now.

„Now eat your sandwich“she demanded.

Even just thinking about what happened made your body feel heat all over. But the fact the sandwich was an Pb&J made your heart flutter. She remembered.

But enough of that, you left your car in the parking lot, making your way to the hospital entrance.

Walking along the main hall of the hospital, you got slightly nervous. This wasn’t your first day ever but your first day in this hospital. And you couldn’t shake of the unsure feeling that settled down in your body. You hadn’t really worked for 4 month and this is a really long period of time. At least you had some time to study as you rested.

You opened the door, finding an empty locker room in front of you. You hummed happily, finding your locker to change into scrubs. It wasn’t unusual that no one was around this time of the day. The interns usually started their shifts early or late and with the end of the shifts it was the same. So the fact that it was middle of the day explained a lot.

In your scrubs and ready to go, you looked for the so called chief Webber. He wasn’t easy to find, the annoyed nurses would ether brush you off or point you to all kind of different floors.

Arrived at the OB part of the hospital, you find the certain doctor in pink scrubs talking to a male intern, handing him the charts.

The man took the charts but said something with a smug smile leaning forward, making the red head chuckle but shake her head. An unwell feeling spread in your chest, as you saw the scene before you, but you brushed it of immediately, thinking there was no need to be upset. She said something and brushed him of with a push of her hand. He turned around beginning to walk away as he suddenly catches you in his way, the same time Addison spotted you.

He pushed out his chest, making a straight line to you while he put on a charming smile. Your eyes still lingering on the women a few feet behind him as he began to speak. „Hey they’re. You’re staring at me aren’t you.“he decided taking a step forward. You were to perplexed to react to his bold sentences. You didn’t thought there were people just walking up to you, talking such none sense.

„So you’re a quite one, I get it but don’t worry I can make you scream in no time.“he prompts proudly, leaning forward about to touch your arm as a strict voice behind him made him freeze „Walk away syphilis“ Addison huffed annoyed. He groaned but turned around, not before winking your way.

There she was, standing a feet away in all her glory. You’re heart warmed as she laid her all to familiar eyes on you.

Still you greeted her in the respectful, appropriate manner your supposed too, since she’s practically your boss now, if not even mentor. „Doctor Montgomery“you greeted looking up to her as she crossed her arms, looking down at you with a amused glint in her eyes.

„Oh, now I’m Dr Montgomery?“ she more stated than asked. You let your eyes wander for a moment or two as you nodded. The pink scrubs really were adorable, suiting her hair perfectly. She was perfect.

„I can’t find the chief, do you probably know were I’m able to find him?“ you wanted to know, looking up at her hopeful. She seemed to think for a moment looking around, suddenly she stopped looking in a certain hallway. The moment you wanted to follow her eyes, she already looked away.

„What do I get? For telling you were he is.“she asked with a grin on her face, making you groan. You didn’t want to be late, a quick glance to the clock made you even more desperate.

„Anything, just tell me. I don’t wanna be late.“ you responded, mentioning to the clock, underlining how urgent this is. Your response clearly amused her, you could tell by the exited glint in her eyes.

„Anything?“she asked again, now clearly trying to annoy you. You took a deep breath, trying to ignore her teasing. „Please, Dr Montgomery.“ you begged, now visible desperate for the information. Addison found a liking in teasing you, it was thrilling. But she didn’t want to make you late or harm you in any way, so she finally gave in. „He’s just over there.“she pointed down a hallway, to a rather tall man, talking to some other doctors.

„I owe you one“you thanked her, already making your way to the chief.

You clearly didn’t think, when you promised the tall woman anything.

—————————————————————

Writing the last few sentences of your report, you reached for the cup next to you. Not even checking where it whiled you blindly searched it with your hand, accidentally spilling it over the freshly written sentences.

„fuck,fuck,fuck“you cursed silently, trying to save the neatly written page but it was to late, the ink already smudged over the whole page and the water soaked the paper. It was just one page and of course the back too but you sat a long while, drawing each word with care and slow lines. The whole work was approximate 15 pages, two of them written with hand the others on computer, like the Regulations told.

And of course the exact two pages had to be destroyed. You took a dry towel, drying the table and stacking the remaining pages on the side.

The last three weeks, since your first day were difficult to say at least. As the new intern no one trusted you, so you had to work really hard, not having a calm moment. The whole three weeks you were home two times, getting clothes and other supplies you needed. You practically moved into an one call room, not to mention the quick naps you took every other free minute.

You slumped down in the chair, holding your head in your arms, feeling your whole body ache from the exhaustion. The stress and lack of sleep finally got to you. But you couldn’t rest now, so you took a blank paper, starting again.

-

Finally done, you closed your eyes for a moment, stretching your body and already raised from the chair again. Taking the whole 15 sides, you made your way to the chiefs office.

As you closed the door to the office again after handing the reports over to the chief, you turned around, being stopped by your favourite red head.

„Dr.Montgomery, is there something I can do for you?“ you questioned her polite, your head still focused on working but you’re body sore and hurting all over. She smiled, but looked a bit worried as she placed a hand on your shoulder.

„Actually there is.”she let her hand run down your arm„follow me.”she demanded, turning around,positive you would follow her. She walked quick, her hips swaying, the heels clicking each time she took a step, as she walked proudly in front of you. Not even a few minutes were over as you already stood in an on call room. Addison in front of you closing the door gently, as you heard the lock click.

„How about you rest for a couple of hours.”she shared her idea, making you consider it for a second but you quickly denied, thinking about all the work you want to finish today.

„Thank you, but no. I still have a lot to do.”you told her, giving her a small smile, thanking her for the offer.

Addisons smile dropped, she wouldn’t let you leave before you at least lied down for an hour. She hadn’t had a chance to talk to you or see you really rest since the first day you started here. It was really worrying her, seeing you always on your feet, not even sitting but walking around for hours without brake. So she decided to talk you down until you would do what she said.

„I don’t know if you understood me correctly. This wasn’t a question or an offer.”she said, her voice low, her strict eyes piercing you right trough your body. „I want you to lie down.Now.”she took your hand leading you to bed „And don’t even try to talk back.”she made her point clear.

The quick change of her mood kinda scared you, not wanting to upset her further, you sat down on the bed, taking of your shoes.

Practically ready to lie down, one thing still bothered you. You were longing for her warmth, not just now but since the last time you were close. That was seven weeks ago and it felt like a withdrawal. Being busy the whole time, distracted you a lot, but with her standing in front of you, next to a bed, it was hopeless.

„Can you like… you know.”you tried to ask, your voice suddenly small under the observation of the tall woman, looking down to you.

Seeing that you finally gave in, she smiled in triumph. But the fact that you wanted her to hold you exited her a lot more. Of course she wouldn’t just give you what you want, not till you asked her clearly.

„You want something?”she teased, but decided the same moment to not tease you too long, since she would love to have you close.

„Yeah, can you lie down… with me?”the last part more hushed but she was still able to hear you clearly. And the question made her grin cheekily at you.

She took of her heals, smiling to her self as she saw how your whole face brightened, while you lay down scooting over to make her place.

She hadn’t even touched the mattresses as you slung your arms around her, making her laugh silently. Ending up with your head by her neck and one leg of yours hugging her legs.

You both laying in silence, as the clock on the wall got louder the longer you listened. But the small ticking was nothing compared to the loud beating of your heart, that possibly the woman next to caused.

„You feel good“you broke the silence, not knowing why you said that but it was true. She felt good, hell she made you feel good.

„I do?“she wanted to know, her voice not giving a clue about what mood she was in or what she thought.

You nodded, making her hum happily. The way you could feel it vibrate under you as she did hum, kinda comforted you but also made you want to be even closer. You wanted to feel her on your skin, you wanted to feel your skin on hers.

You didn’t even thought much about it as you leaned in kissing her neck softly. Shocked but still exited you waited for an reaction, the seconds getting longer and longer like gum.

But suddenly you witnessed her moving her head to the side, like an invitation to kiss her again. And you did once, twice, now feeling one hand of hers caressing your sides and the other on the back of your neck, holding you in place.

You now kissed purposely a way up her neck, along her ear, up to her chin and finally to her cheek, where you found the woman with closed eyes, breathing slowly.

Not feeling your lips on her she opened her eyes, seeing how you were laying on top of her, your arms on each side supporting your body weight.

You smiled, studying her closely with curiosity written all over your face. She smiled back her hand still gliding over your sides.

„Honey?“Addison called out, as she gave your sides a slight squeeze.

„Hmm“you responded, still caught by the beauty in front of you, well beneath you.

„Your supposed to get some sleep, not turn me on.“she stated, with a serious face, looking up at you. Feeling heat rise to your face, because of the thing she accused you with, you huffed embarrassed,turning away from her, you’re back now facing her as she laughed loudly.

It felt like a long moment she couldn’t get herself together, laughing as you sulked in your embarrassment. But somehow she stopped, now looking to the side were you sulked around.

Eventually she spooned you from behind, holding you close as she told you amused over and over how sorry she is.

„You’re so sweet but neck kisses do turn me on“she confessed, waiting for any kind of respond from your side but you just scoffed, making her grin. Now she had to tease you.

Leaning down to your neck, she did the exact same move you did, making you squirm in her arms. Having enough, she stuck out her tongue giving you a few kitten licks kissing each lick after as you’re breathing grew heavier. Small gasps leaving your body under the heavenly sensation you were under until she decided to bite your pulse point gently and a breathy moan slipped out of your lips. You felt her grin on your skin, as she soothed the bite with a longer kiss than usual.

„Someone’s getting exited.“ she whispered in your ear, before she lays back down, still spooning you.

Clearly this wasn’t going to go any further, because wtf.

>>What just happened<< you thought, your head full of images,trying to calm down. But still you decided to ignore this happened, trying to sleep.

#addison #addison montgomery #addison montgomery x reader #addison x reader #female reader #grey’s anatomy #grey’s anatomy images #grey’s anatomy x reader #meredith grey #montgomery #smut #w|w #amelia shepherd #arizona #arizona robbins #blushing #gay #lesbian #series #love #lgbtqia #lgbtq #fluff #slow burn #neck kisses #women

[b-courageous1010]

Organization tips for Structured Productivity

It’s vital to be organized while working in finance as it is important to keep your priorities and routine tasks organized and completed in a timely manner.Things can get hectic in a blank of an eye so I highly recommend trying various time management and organization techniques to find what works for you. What works for someone else might not work for you but thats okay!

Below are 2 of my favorite organization tips and techniques I use in my day to day work life:

❥𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨

Chunking your time during the day which basically means creating a plan to work on each task for a certain amount of time and after the allotted time is up you will move on to the next task.

This is ideal for those who might have long term assignments or side projects.

I use this method to ensure I am giving adequate time to each of the tasks and projects I currently have on my list while also determining the progress I am making on each task

Example of my day

8:30 - 10:00: Decluttering my email and addressing everything that needs to be addressed - I also use this time to plan out what I need to accomplish that day while also noting important meetings and side project status updates.

10:00 - 12:00: Balancing payables

1:00 - 2:15: Work personal/Team email

2:15 - 3:00: Side projects

3:00 - 3:30: Run team files

3:30 - 5:30: Continue Side projects

I would also like to note to be realistic about the amount of time you designate for each task. Make sure it’s reasonable amount of time while also accounting for human error.

❥𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 & 𝘖𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

Emails Folders

For my role it’s extremely important that I maintain a clean inbox because it’s a indicator of whether or not I am keeping up with my day to day tasks.

When I receive an email I will determine and complete the action items required and file it away for record keeping purposes. Thus only leaving emails in my inbox that are still outstanding. On average I get about 20 emails a day for various items and we are advised to not delete them ever.

So I developed a system that will allow me to archive emails in their correct folders so in the event that I need to pull an email for CYA (cover your a*ss) or for just for additional information I actually know where to begin to look for it. I created and grouped folders by the type of fee or fee process it pertains to and I will then make sub folders if needed as this also helps speedup the email search.

I have a folder for each of my primary tasks but they also have subfolders for example, I have a folder labeled “Ledgers” but within the folder I have sub folders for the different types of fees we process such as Holding, Commission, etc. and this is usually for tracking purposes.

I also made a MISC folder for routine departments emails such as the firms weekly newsletter as well as different routine alerts we receive. each routine email has a sub folder within the main folder. But I also have monthly misc folders for misc emails that are not routine and are received during the given month.

For example I have a folder in my inbox labeled “5/1/2022” which is where I would move misc emails received during the month.

❥Invest in a planner/desk planner

You can’t store all the necessary tasks, processes and additional information you will need on a given day all in your head. It is vital to get all your thoughts on paper or a digital planner as this will open up space to think critically for the new items coming your way. Not doing so you run the risk of tasks falling through the cracks because they slipped your mind.

It is also proven that writing information down not only helps with cementing information in your mind but aids with comprehension as well.

Personally I use a disposable desk planner for short term day to day tasks they tend to change everyday. I like to use my physical planners as more of long term items as it could get bombarded and messy with the more things I add.

My Fav

The pages on the above link are sectioned out for different purposes and it has a very minimalistic design while also being highly functional.

Box for today’s focus - Cleaning up ledger activity

Section to add to dos - Tasks I need to accomplish that day

Notes section - I might jot down a misc item or two over the course of the day

Meals - I like to keep track of my meals to reflect on my eating habits

Water tracker - I make it a game to see how many cups of water I can drink a day which has been very helpful with staying hydrated.

Schedule for the day - Here is where I notate any important time commitments for the day such as running the file at 5 or any meetings scheduled for that day.

It’s important that you develop your organization skills in finance as we are often pulled in many directions at the same time and still expected to perform at a high level. What I learned is that your organization skills and habits can either make or break you. You want to make sure you are not only putting your best foot forward but also building a solid foundation that can be developed over time

In Closing, I want to stress the importance of finding out what works for you! I personally have a couple of planners I write in for various reasons but I recently decided I wanted to include excel into my planner rotation as I often feel like I live my life through numbers 😅 but I say this to show you that the possibilities are endless! There is no one way or wrong way to do this just as long as your method works for you!

#black femininity #soft black girls #classy black women #black women in femininity #black women in luxury #divine energy #leveling up #divine feminine #level up diary #level up #luxury black women #rich black women #black luxury #rich black girls #spoiled black women #soft black women #black girls in luxury #organization #plannergeek #black girls in corporate #corporate barbie files #corporate baddie #corporate barbie #manifesting #black girl luxury #spoiled black girl #spoiled gf

[studentbyday]

30 days of intentionality

starting this challenge with the goal of taking it one day at a time. i have a hard time doing that these days. i spend more time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future than staying in the present, even if that's when i'm most content. not sure how i'll format my posts and most likely, i'll only do weekly updates bc daily ones are too overwhelming. i'll just go with the flow, trying to trust that everything will end up as it's meant to be and maybe i'll be more productive as focusing primarily on the present moment becomes a habit.

---

1. suo gân (arr. john williams for the ambrosian junior choir): i believe that if everyone lived by the idea of global citizenship and so saw the humanity in every individual from every background, there would be no war. reading the news fills me with fear, sorrow, and anxiety, but i also feel the responsibility to stay informed. did some studying today, more than yesterday, but it was kind of uncomfortable with the state of global politics lurking in the back of my mind. i'm still a little behind on school.

2. souvenir de paganini (chopin): today is not so bad. i'm making progress academically, but i do need to make time for social activities soon or i will get lonely and lose what little motivation i have very quickly.

3. once upon a december (arr. emile pandolfi): sometimes in the face of events and issues much bigger than myself that i have no control over, i feel like my dreams are pointless bc i think there's no way achieving them or trying to achieve them could possibly empower me to make real and important change that can truly benefit many. who knows if the future would even allow me to get that far. there are many things that could change the course of our lives that we don't have control over. but if others in worse situations than me and others much better informed than me can still have hope, then so can i. i didn't do much other than pharmacology and a little bit of philosophy today. i made more progress in pharmacology than expected, but that's only bc i didn't do any psych work. i also earned a few more mastery points on khan academy's integrated math 1 (not a priority, i know, but i wanted an easy win) and started lab tasks. i'm far from done with that, i need to do a little every day... i don't want to let them down! 🥺 (note to self: lying in bed is maybe NOT a good study break activity bc that just makes me not wanna do anything else after that and it's very very very hard to get out of that procrastination rut once i let myself fall into it.) 4. let's stay together (al green): everything should be going well, except i'm easily overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn't in an openly frazzled way, it was in a tired and slightly defeated "what's the point?" way, so i didn't realize it as quickly as i usually do. after some bed rest, cuddles 🧸, listening to steve jobs' commencement speech, and a little yoga, i felt better. "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." was something i didn't know i needed to hear today. i modified my to-do list and found that the list of things i "must do" was nearly as long as the list of things i "want to do" 😅

5. kreutzer sonata, movt. 1 (beethoven): pretty sure i've mentioned some of these songs before but...they really fit the mood! sometimes i feel things so strongly that i develop a tightening in my chest that can only be relieved in a scream... since i can't actually scream and i don't actually really like the physical feeling of it, i scream through exercise and music 😅 beethoven is very nice for when i'm feeling very annoyed or angry, especially if it's an anxious kind of angry or if it's anger at injustice/inequality. i can't find a piano solo version that does the fiery spirit of the violin justice. so in the vague future when i actually play this, either i try (and perhaps fail) to replicate that on the piano, or i find a violinist friend who would want to play with me 😅 right now though, imagining how i would physically create that sound on the piano will have to be enough. the prevailing thought/feeling of the day: sometimes i just really wanna believe in the good in people and believe that i can trust (some of) them. i long for that feeling of safety in a broader irl community that i actually belong in. i'm surprised by how often i long for it. but then my negativity is reinforced by news and people's opinions on it.

6. violin sonata no. 1 in g minor, bwv 1001 (j.s. bach): stuff was done. i felt calm/chill throughout the day, but even tho i feel good whenever that happens, it usually means i don't get an extraordinary amount of things done that day (lol since when do i ever). i'm not sure if it's enough, as there is still lots to do and i'm pretty sure that it's just wishful thinking that i'll achieve all my goals for this week by its end. i need to cut down my goals list to the realistic rather than idealistic version as always (school, lab, and basic self-maintenance tasks) 😅 gaawwwdd i hope i can do this...good night.

7. waltz in a minor, b. 150 (chopin): today and yesterday i have been able to keep my phone time under an hour. the days are blissful (if not at least calmer) and focused. 📚

8. only mine (laufey): cuddles in bed while listening to laufey is so soothing 🧸 takes me back to my childhood listening to lullabies in the dark 🥺 motivation to study is hard to find today. i just want to relax 🥺 i'll just do one tiny thing and see where i wanna go from there...

#30doi #30 days of intentionality #100dop #studyblr #philosophy studyblr #bioinformatics #premedblr #dark academia #study aesthetic #digital diary #heydilli #heyfrithams #astudentslifebuoy #brown aesthetic #vintage aesthetic #heyzainab #warm aesthetic #cafe aesthetic #cozy academia #romantic academia #classic academia #light academia #chaotic academia #highly sensitive person #100 days of productivity #100 days of studying #100 days of self discipline #music recs #song of the day #inspirational quotes

[imnotasuperhero]

Look into my eyes (search your soul)

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Your love for Wanda could make you go the distance and more, just to see her happy.

A/N: I know I’m a week late, BUT! March came by and I’m back to my old schedule at karate and then a friend opened her own dojo and we celebrated and if you add work to the mix.. adulting sucks, dude. I promise I’ll try to stick to weekly updates! I also have a started wip that might be posted tomorrow.

Here’s part 4. I hope you enjoy this one and it’s enough to keep your hearts hanging 🤭🤭 Enjoy!

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX

The cries could be heard through the door, so you decided to avoid the knocking and just enter Wanda’s home, feeling your heart squeeze at the scene in front of you.

Hurrying to the quietly crying woman, you took one of her babies from her hold, slowly rocking him trying to calm him down.

"Shh," you coed. "Everything is okay." Bewitching the baby in your arms, Tommy -you noticed, you looked into Wanda's green eyes, hoping she understood the hidden meaning in those words.

Sitting on the couch, you patted the place beside you, a clear indication for Wanda to follow.

The whole smoothness in which the next minutes elapsed only added to your emotional bag.

"They're asleep," Wanda sighed. "Thank you."

"It's nothing," you breathed.

You knew this silence meant some heavy chat. It wasn't usual for Wanda to be so erratic. And if it wasn't for the babies, you knew she would even be catatonic. But you also knew you couldn't force her. So you just stood there, admiring the sleeping baby in your arms, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"You were with Nat." 

The spoken words froze your respiratory system for a moment too long. That was not what you expected. 

"I was," you looked at Wanda, who refused to take her eyes off her son.

"You had sex with her."

"Since when you question what I do?" You raised an eyebrow, a small smirk hiding on your lips.

"You did." She whispered, making the wires in your brain short-circuit.

Sighing, you just sunk deep into the couch, letting the silence make its presence once again.

"Can you look at them while I shower?" Wanda asked with certain shyness that squeezed your heart.

"Of course," you nodded. "Take your time, there's no rush," you made sure your eyes locked with Wanda's, hoping she believed your words.

Looking at her go, you finally breathed out all the pent-up emotions you felt. 

"Welcome to the world," you laughed drily at the sleeping babies, admiring the ability to ignore the problems. 

If only they could talk to fill you in the blanks.

Leaving Tommy in their small crib beside his brother, you marched to the kitchen, decided to mend Wanda's heart. Or at least try. 

"Wands?" You knocked on the closed door.

"Yes." 

"I brought you tea," you maneuvered to open the door with your elbow, giving her one mug to take the baby monitor out of your pocket and placed it on the countertop. "They're fast asleep," you smiled, easing Wanda's worries.

After staring at you for a few seconds too long, Wanda hummed at the warm steam filling her nostrils. "Thank you," she mouthed.

"It's nothing," you sat down on the floor by the bathtub, just waiting.

It wasn't rare for you two to work in tandem without having to speak your needs. Much less considering the friendship that linked you both. So when you stood there by her side, she didn’t think about kicking you out -not even when she was naked, only covered by the foam in the water. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda felt her heart squeezing at the confusion plastered all over your face. “For always dragging you into my problems.” She changed the course of her intentions. Now was not the time.

Wanda’s breath hitched when she saw you move closer, maybe too close for two best friends. And the breath she was about to exhale delayed even more at the burning feeling of your hand against her wet arm.

“Remember all those years back after your fight with Pietro under our tree?” How could she not? It was one of her favorite moments with you.

Once she nodded, you continued. “Do you remember what did I tell you?”

“Soulmates don’t necessarily have to be lovers. I’m your soulmate and we’re linked forever, even after our deaths.” Wanda remembered every single word with a smile, the warm feeling in her chest easing the pain she was feeling moments ago.

“After all these years, I still stand by my words,” you reached for her shampoo, standing up to sit at the edge of the bathtub. “Scoot forward.” 

Wanda let herself relax at the feeling of your expertised hands washing her greasy hair. God knows she had barely had time for body showers.

“You are my soulmate, Wanda.” The pause in your statement went unnoticed by Wanda for all her body felt like giving up to gravity at the massages on her scalp, drawing soft moans out of her at the feeling of floating.

“Your burdens are mine and your happiness and successes are mine, too. So don’t you ever think for one second that I won’t be by your side to help you through whatever you’re going through.”

Looking up, Wanda finally let her tears run freely at the sincerity she could see in your eyes. But before she could say anything, a cry was heard through the white small speaker by the bathroom sink.

“Think you can finish yourself?”

“It’s feeding time,” Wanda smiled. “And Y/N?” She spoke before you walked out, “Thank you.” Wanda sighed, unplucking the bathtub before opening the shower to rinse her clean hair.

Feeling the hot water washing all her worries and the sadness lingering in her heart, Wanda finished with her task, taking her time to allow herself to think about the best way to break the news to you.

She’s known you for over half her life and even though a part of her wanted to join you in whatever your plan of action could be just to make him feel a small proportion of what she was feeling, an even bigger part wanted to keep things civil for her kids’ sake.

Feeling clean, she quickly changed into her comfort clothes before joining you. No matter how bad her body ached for rest, she couldn’t leave you alone with her kids. It won’t be right.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, the cracks in her heart started to repair themselves agonizingly slowly at the sight of you quietly lulling both babies, making it seem so effortlessly as you paced around the living room’s floor.

“Nice shirt,” you smirked and Wanda looked down at her body, inspecting the clothing. Oh.

“It’s comfy,” she shrugged away the feeling of her cheeks heating up. Walking towards you, she picked Tommy up as she leaned towards your shoulder to kiss Billy’s head. “I’m ready,” Wanda locked her eyes with yours, hoping you understood. After all, you couldn’t do much with the babies sleeping.

“Vision left,” Wanda sighed after making herself comfortable on her couch.

“For how long?” You asked and Wanda smiled sadly at the confusion in your voice.

“No,” Wanda paused looking for the right words, trying her best to keep it steady. “He left us.”

The confusion on your face shifted into a shocked one just to be replaced by anger.

The change in your pupils lighted up something akin to fear in Wanda. It was very rare for you to get this way, and she thanked her babies for preventing you to break hell free.

“That fucker,” you growled, fidgeting uncomfortably.

Her tongue itched to speak, but she decided to stay quiet until your breathing returned to a normal rate, all while bracing into the baby in her arms. Her hold almost unbreakable, trying to keep the small hope that had been slipping through her fingers for a while, now.

“What was his lame excuse?” You asked, breaking the pregnant silence.

“He… He said he couldn’t do this. That all this chaos was hard for him and-”

“Stop. Please, stop before I go chasing him to kill him.” Your eyes closed trying to calm your erratic breaths and Wanda could only fight harder to run from the darkness chasing her. But when you opened your eyes, all Wanda saw was hope.

Granted, it lasted just a few milliseconds for it disappeared as fast as it came, but the pang in Wanda’s chest signaled something growing inside her.

Opening your arms, Wanda choked at the silent invitation.

“I know you can’t see it right now, but you’re better off without him,” your voice came soothing, but it only served to break her. Her eyes burning with every shedded tear.

Wanda snuggled impossibly closer into your warmth, allowing her body to blend against yours as you secured your free arm around her shoulders, as if shielding her from the bad things of life.

And just like the pain in her mixed with anger, a new feeling she seemed to ignore, lighted up like a torch in a pitch-black cave, clearing away the darkness that had settled around her beating heart.

As always, coments and reblogs are highly appreciated (:

Taglist: @summergeezburr​ @wandabear​ @red1culous​ @inluvwithfictionalwomen​ @aliherreraaa @kiancorpse ​ @whitewidowsbite ​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx ​ @daenerys713 ​ @swiftie1-0-1 @godamnityess ​ @marvelwomen-simp ​ @forthelesbians ​ @when-wolves-howl ​ @marvelogic ​ @cowboyboots236 @iliketozoneout​ (If you wanna be added to the taglist, just let me know! :)

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda amximoff x fem!reder #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x Y/N #my writing #limesys

[steamberrystudio]

03/12/2023

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!

Summary

Finished editing Chapter 5 (WSC)

Decided an additional chapter was needed to fix pacing/plot stuff.

Received some new BG art (WSC)

Worked on the GS lore book including adding profiles and short stories

Ramble

Okay so in my last update I was in the middle of editing chapter 5 and was nearly to the start of chapter six in editing Asher's route. I finished up chapter 5...

At that point when I was looking ahead, I started feeling like I wanted to add in a transition scene to move between Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.

As I started plotting out this scene, one of my ideas took on a life of its own and I realised that it might be better to interject a new, fleshed out story incident that would allow me to slow the pacing as well as flesh out the setting and universe a little more. This incident would also let me tie into some earlier events and connect them to something that occurs in chapter 6, also foreshadowing the chapter 6 incident.

 Ultimately, this became too much to call a "scene" and I decided to branch it off into a supplementary chapter (IE a chapter a bit shorter than the others and meant to be released along with another chapter.

That is what I've been working on since the last update.

This chapter has now served to set up multiple important things.

And is currently 17000 words long (it's going to end up closer to 25k by the end I think. There is a pretty significant story branch that happens at this point based on a specific player choice (That is or is not available based on other factors). If the choice is available and if the player makes that choice, it leads to an entirely different flow of events for a substantial portion of the chapter. That's what I'm currently working on writing.

I have it plotted out in a very detailed way and just have to write it.

Chapters with heavy branching are always a bit of a doozy to write and the WSC chapters are pretty long in general (the longest chapter is 62,000 words right now). So yeah.

Adding new content is still a part of editing I suppose. At least sometimes. I was so excited to cut 4000 words of content in chapter 5. 

Then I added 17000+ more. So.....

That sounds accurate for me. 😱

I've been having a lot of health struggles the last couple of weeks mostly related to chronic fatigue and pain. That, in addition to some really irritating "real life" stuff. But things are still moving forward.

Current word count is 440,000 words.

Regarding the GS lore book - I've been adding character profiles to a "people" section and have also been working on some of the short stories/drabbles. It's close to 300 pages at this point. 💪

Other Stuff:

As usual, I have received a completed BG and sketch, acquiring the game environments at a steady pace.

Upcoming Weeks:

This is getting into a busy time of year so I have a lot of real life distractions even apart from HEALTH. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Progress always slows a little for me during this period since we have a lot going on.

But here is the plan.

Try to finish adding the profiles to the lore book. (Noooot sure I will. There are still a lot to go and the formatting for them is tricky. And I'm alternating between adding profiles and finishing writing a few side stories I've had ideas for for a while)

Try to finish chapter 5.5 for WSC

That's all for this week. There should be on more update here before the end of the year. See you then! 💪💪

#whenstarscollide #indie otome #amare game #gilded shadows #updates

[pastafossa]

How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.

#writer's block #i am on step five if that's not obvious and that's ok #steps 1-4 got me through about 2 years of writing and over a hundred chapters. damn near a mill words. #so i'm VERY confident it works most of the time #or it does for me anyway #just. you know. not all the time #what's funny is i suspect if you read all of trt knowing the above #you'll SEE these moments #moments where i clearly hit a chapter i'd written ahead of time cause it had more detail or more excitement radiating in my notes #alternatively no one has any idea which ones are which which is even funnier to me #look i do not judge *anyone* who just can't do weekly chapter #the pandemic was a weird period where i had the time to do that and the management required to keep up with it outside then is intense #like it's possible. i was doing it before shit started going sideways last year cause that was NOT my year basically from july onwards #but just be kind to yourself about it #the story will come #and your readers will be there for it