#why on earth did this train of thought attack my head and refuse to leave

[floressokaap]

"What Was I Made For?"

Pairing: John Dory x Reader

Content Warning: none! Enjoy! :)

A/N: Hello! The majority of my fics will be AFAB w/pronouns unless specified/requested! Thank you!<3

Photo credit: etherealfeature on Instagram!

John Dory. You really didn't know exactly how to describe him. Many people describe him as somebody with narcissistic tendencies, and absolutely selfish. And, they were right. But what a lot of trolls didn't realize was the fact that you are in love with him, and he unfortunately stays trapped inside his mind for so long that he doesn't quite realize how good he has it right now.

After saving Floyd, everyone that parted ways started their recovery process due to their own talents getting slowly sucked out from them by ex superstars Velvet and Veneer. Floyd stayed with Branch in his underground bunker, Clay went back to the mini golf course with Viva to situate her reunion with King Peppy after the last Bergen attack, and Bruce went back to Vacay Island to be with his kids and Brandy. What did that leave you to do? The only thing you ever thought to do; To take care of John Dory and help him recover in Rhonda, wherever the roads took you both.

"JD, what are you doing?" Your ears perked at the sound of blankets rustling against the couch cushions. There was silence before a response was heard.

"I'm not doing anything, I'm resting like you're wanting me to."

You put a magazine down on the table and glanced over at him. He was slowly reaching for his jacket and goggles, and seemed restless. "We need food-" "JD, we already have food here for the both of us." He clenches his jaw slightly. He knew you were going to be hard to get through. "I need to check Rhonda's oil." He quickly sat up, and threw his fur coat on, slapping his goggles into position against his forehead. "You need to rest-" "I don't need to, I can't just NOT do anything, I'm the leader, I HAVE to be productive and do my part to make sure everything's perfect."

"John Dory, we're not doing this again."

He continued standing up and walking towards the side door. He looked down at the door handle, contemplating on your concerns before brushing them off his shoulders and walked out on you. You furrowed your brows and sighed in frustration.

You couldn't count how many times John Dory would have his perfection episodes, and pushed himself over the limits. Every time you call him out on those moments and try to calm him down, he refuses, and shuts himself out. You let him have about ten minutes of alone time outside before you eventually stood up from your seat and walked out Rhonda's side door. You expected him to be near her, but he was nowhere to be found. "C'mon JD.." you shook your head to yourself as you slowly walked around the forest where you were camping at. You started to worry before you found him sitting on a fallen tree log lying against the ground. He had his head lowered, and his forearms against his legs, staring at the earth beneath him.

You smiled in relief, because he didn't go very far as you knew deep down, and you slowly made your way to the seat right next to him. His shoulders fell more when he snapped out from his train of thought, and glanced over to look at you. You could see the pain in his eyes. His eyes were dry, and the crows feet near his eyes were more prominent and defined. "JD, are you.. alright?"

"Yeah, of course I'm alright!" He put on his photogenic leader and big brother smile on his face. Why couldn't he open up to you.

"JD, I know you're not alright, something is really bothering you. Why do you feel like you need to be perfect all the time? Even when your body doesn't even have the strength to begin with?" His jaw slacked a little at your forwardness, but he then clenched his jaw and darted his eyes away from yours. "Please, don't shut me out like this. You do this every time." He squeezed his eyes shut. He hated being confronted like that. He knew you, and he knew you would keep trying for an answer. He didn't have an escape from you. He let out a very shaky and slow sigh. There was no going back for him.

"My brothers, they all said I never changed. I mean, we almost didn't even save Floyd because of it." He shook his head disappointedly to himself and balled his hands into fists. "I'm the oldest brother, the leader, it was predetermined for me to be this way! And everybody has something to say about me! Why! They can't see the work I put into everything I do to be perfect! My brothers can't see that either." He frowned a lot, and his ears drooped downwards in disappointment, vulnerability, and freight. "I have to be this way, for everybody's sake. My own sake. This is what John Dory is. This is what I was made for. I was made to carry the responsibility. What else could I have been possibly brought here for?"

You immediately reached over and put your hand on top of his before he could even mutter another word out from his lips.

"JD, you.. you are so smart, strong, talented, and it kills me that you can't see that in yourself. So what if your brothers are right? There's nothing wrong with that. It's something different when you don't feel like you deserve that kind of commitment from people, even your own brothers, because you're too good for it. They say those things, and bring up a lot of the past because they care for you, and they really do love you. You can't change the choices you made when you were a teenager, but you can decide how that will build your character in this moment." John Dory stared at your hand slowly intertwining with his, you could see the tears in his glistening eyes. You could see the vulnerable, younger, and even current John Dory in his eyes. You could feel the fear, worry, responsibilities, and faults he made; and how much it absolutely eats him up and keeps him hostage in his own mind.

"(Y/N), where is this all coming from? Why?-"

"I've always felt this way, JD. When I got to know you and your brothers while we were journeying to Mount Rageous, I realized that.. nobody really hardly ever gives you enough credit for the things you deal with alone. Your brothers' own experiences with you are valid, but, I see the work you're putting into making sure you're still needed here, as a big brother, and.. as the man I'm in love with." You feel your heart shoot itself into your throat before sinking straight down to your stomach.

John Dory's eyes immediately widened, as his shoulders and back tensed up. You could sense the change of mood in him, and there was no way he was going to run away from his problems now like this. You tightened your grip on his hand and leaned towards him, putting your lips against his tense ones. It felt like time had completely frozen, but the world was still spinning as you felt John Dory's lips move and lean into the kiss more and his calloused gloved hand cup your cheek shakily. He then pulled you as close as he humanly possibly could with his arms wrapped around your waist. You could feel the passion behind his lips, and body language, along with the tears going down his tired cheeks. He pulled away from your lips slowly, and immediately slid his goggles off his face, tossing them aside to the ground and starts pressing his forehead against yours, letting the tears fall down from his cheeks.

"(Y/N).. thank you. Thank you so much."

"You don't need to thank me for that, JD. It's true. Everything that I said was and is true. I will stand behind it every single second of every day. I promise you that." His eyes stared at you lovingly as a soft smile spread across his face showing the slight wrinkles and crows feet that peek from his eyes and mouth.

"Oh, uh, here, you must be cold." He took off his fur coat and wrapped it around your figure. "We've been out here for a while now." You nodded and proceeded to stand up from the log, holding your hand out. "Let's go warm up inside Rhonda." John Dory nodded as he took your delicate hand in his rather large and tough hand. He smiled lovingly at you as he guided you back to Rhonda, who still kept her engine on and the inside very warm for you two.

You adjusted the couch cushions and made room for you and John Dory to spoon together, him being the little spoon tonight while you wrapped your arms around his torso.

"I love you, (Y/N)" You smiled lovingly to yourself as you squeezed him softly. "I've waited a long time to hear those words from you, John Dory." "Oops, sorry." He laughed playfully and nervously as he rubbed and massaged your knuckles with his thumb.

You pressed the side of your head against John Dory's shoulders, listening to the calmness and relaxation of his body. This may have been the only time he's ever been this way, for anybody, even himself.

But who knew that with the cards he was dealt with in life would be the turnaround point of his character, and even your own freshly started relationship with him; And you would be there every step of the way. That meant through the days he is the happiest with himself for being a good leader, and through the days where he would question his entire purpose with trying to maintain the perfect harmony, the perfect family and if that was really all there was in this world.

He knows now that's not true, and he can once in his life relax and be comfortable with himself, regardless of the past life he made.

He can finally start living his new life, with you and his real, true, full family.

#Spotify #john dory #john dory trolls #john dory trolls 3 #trolls x reader #brozone x reader #brozone #trolls band together #trolls 3 #john dory x reader #trolls x self insert

[heyheycaitalin]

So do you think Scott Calvin cringed every time he saw his old company's toys on a kid's wish list or under their tree? Do you think he just refused to deliver them and gave an alternate brand? Does his factory at the North Pole make those toys or is there some kind of magical FedEx type situation happening to get brand name toys from their factories to the North Pole for wrapping and distribution? None of this was addressed in any of the three Santa Clause movies and I just gotta know.

And if Scott Calvin as Santa refuses to deliver toys from the company that turned their back on him when he was at rock bottom, could he make that company go out of business? I wouldn't blame him if he did. He worked his ass off for those people, sacrificed his family time for all the meetings and late nights, had zero friends who were there for him when he was at rock bottom because work was his #1 priority, and just how do they repay him? By firing him just because he let himself go with weight and personal appearance, and because he had the audacity to have an opinion on Santa having a military tank. So yeah, those guys? Irrelevant. So irrelevant I don't even want to waste the time googling the company name. But seeing as we never heard from them again, maybe Scott did make them go out of business.

#look im back on my Santa Clause theory bullshit #no one asked for this #its April #why on earth did this train of thought attack my head and refuse to leave #not even tim allen cares this much #not even THE Santa Claus himself cares #but whatever it had to be said #tim allen #the santa clause #the santa clause 3 #scott Calvin #the santa clause 2

[stuckybarton]

Sucker For Pain i

SUMMARY: You were new to the team, but what everyone didn't know was you weren't so new to the God of Mischief. CHARACTERS: Loki Laufeyson x Ex!Reader [Ex to Lovers again?] WARNINGS: Profanities. Suggestive Themes. Slight Angst and horrible self-image. Grammar Mistakes. English not being my first language. [Not Beta’d tho] WORDS: 2,956 CHAPTERS: [1/3] A/N; Life happened and yeah, didn’t have much time to write. Not my best work for this mini-series, but I’m fighting through for this. Hope you guys enjoy~

PART TWO | PART THREE

MASTERLIST || Join the Taglist

"Agent Y/N Y/L/N." You introduced yourself the first moment you were escorted into the compound by Director Nick Fury. Multiple sets of faces both new and old had come to greet you. For a moment you wouldn't even believe that this is was the new life you would find yourself to be a part of from now on.

Years in the job for SHIELD before disappearing off the grid to get as much information about HYDRA, everyone had thought you had betrayed them and you had accepted that they would think so lowly of you after all the near-deaths you had to endure on the job. Even with the mission becoming more of a death wish, you had accepted the role Nick had given you all those years ago and now you were rewarded, immensely. A spot on the Avengers as part of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

The familiar face of Nat was the first to greet you with a hug. A fiercely tight one, it had been so long since you've seen a friend. Then your eyes fell towards the rest of the team; Bucky Barnes, who you had a few close encounters with during your time with HYDRA. You had witness everything they had done to him and stood on trail to clean his name. Steve Rogers, who, with Sharon Carter, had assisted in guarding Steve while SHIELD was still under HYDRA's control. But among the familiar faces, one stood out the most.

Loki Laufeyson.

To many, the man was a snake, a God that had once brought death and destruction in New York. But to you, he was different, this was the man that you had spent your lonely nights with while under the guise of a traitor. It had once just been a physically thing between the two of you, neither wanting to know about each other's lives. You knew he was a God, a man that had wronged the world, but he had never known about you, the woman that had painted yourself as a traitor for the better of the world. The one that had been called every name on the book for the sake of making sure you did your part right.

Then it got serious between the two of you. Admission of love was told between both of your lips. But it was dangerous for you two to be together especially when you were already told by Fury that you can come back to the surface. You didn't know what side he was on, and you did not have the heart to make him choose if the time would come.

So you two parted. A month ago. The pain still throbbing you like an unattended bullet hole right through your heart. It was still so painful to look at him and not remember him crumbling on his knees begging you to stay. The first sob that escaped his lips and forever haunted your dreams. A never-ending loop in the back of your head as your demons screamed at you for breaking an already broken man.

"I for one am happy you're finally here. Another woman to add to an already Man's Man world in the compound." Nat teased glancing towards the other individuals that had come to know the new face. "With introductions out of the way, you've got a lot of explaining to do for the past few years."

You could only smile at your friend. You did have so much to explain to her, things had been murky between you and Clint, but after everything, Nat had refused to believe you would betray them, betray her, and it was finally a relief to be able to return back home, seeing the people that mean the most to you.

"Tell me about it." You muttered allowing Nat to quickly pull your away from the crowd, but it missed your eyes how he was still looking. Ice blue eyes a contract to the burning gaze he had towards you.

Forget about him. Forget about him. You were here for a new opportunity. No him. Never him.

For the next few weeks, everyone had grown to accept you in your new role as part of the Avengers. You kept up with Steve, Bucky, and Sam during their runs. Sam more than happy to finally have someone that had the same pace as him, but only for you to laugh and out run him just to get a reaction out of the high flier. Tony and Bruce had also found a kinship in you, having provided them enough information about HYDRA's experiments and location made most of their missions easier. Then there was Nat and Clint, your confidant in this new life. Every single moment that was not dedicated to a mission was spent with them; may it be movie night or a simple get together outside the compound, often times bringing Wanda and Vision along just to mess with you and call you a 5th wheel of the group.

But among number of members on the team, everyone had noticed you constantly avoided one Thor Odinson and one Loki Laufeyson. The only real time you would even dare talk to either of the brothers would be during training--other than that, you tried your best to avoid them, Loki most especially. Every single moment that would force the two of you to be in the same room, Loki had a glare while you tried your best to avoid his gaze.

Everyone noticed, everyone didn't seem to worry too much. It comes with having a former-villain part of the team. They thought you would eventually get used to the God's presence just as much as they did.

"You ever gonna tell me what's going on between you and Loki?" Nat inquired avoiding your punch.

What you hated the most about sparring with Nat was her capability of multitasking. Talking and snooping about someone else's business while also kicking their ass in the process--this was the predicament you were in right in this very moment.

"Nothing is going on." You muttered landing back first on the mat after being thrown like a rag doll by Nat. Eyes looking at the ceiling, you wondered if it was a good idea to actually come clean to her about her past with the God of Mischief. "I know what he's done to New York and I think you can't blame me for taking precaution when it comes to him."

Nat now comes hovering on top of you, the narrowed eyes and gentle smirk was all you needed to know--she knew it was bullshit. But when she had stopped pushing you for more information, it was enough for you to just change the subject.

"They found Dominic?" You inquired. One of the first big missions that everyone was focusing on was one of the leading Scientist for HYDRA. With the exposure of HYDRA to the world, some of them had moved away and found themselves in much shadier company, much to everyone's radar now spiking.

Dominic Wagner was, in part, partially responsible for the Winter Soldier program in the modern era. One of the pioneers in moving the project into a much younger sets of test subjects. You lost contact with the man as soon as your got back into the surface, but it had also meant a target was on your back when they found out you were a double agent.

"He's in Russia. Wasting away all the funding for the program with parties" Nat points out. "Still a better way to spend the money that abducting kids everywhere."

You nodded, memories of files upon files for the prospects still haunted you to this day.

"When are you taking him out?" You inquired. In your time with the SHIELD, the red in both of your ledger had made you two a hot commodity if the situation present itself as shoot to kill. Neither of you would hesitate. You knew you would now, after everything, but if it means one less bad people in this earth, you would swallow your new morals.

"Fury wants him alive." She pointed out finally standing back up to her own two feet, leaving you on your back, staring at the ceiling in deep thought. "I know as much as you do, we want him dead for everything he has done, but we need him alive so we can get the others."

You nodded, this was one of the few things you had to get used to as part of the team. Death was best solution in SHIELD--at least in your team, not here. As long as you were part of Steve's team, you would need to choose whether or not killing would be the best option. Hope that you weren't so blessed to be given in your time under.

"I get a first shot when we don''t have any use of him anymore." You muttered finally standing back up with Nat's help. Steps faltering at the sight of the God of Mischief, training with the likes of Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, and Bucky Barnes. A weird mix up, but wasn't hard to understand why.

"Why don't you shoot your shots with him for now." Nat teased, finally making you break from staring at the plain black shirt and green sweatshort-clad Loki Laufeyson. "If we try to ignore the death count during his attack, he is sort-of your type in men." Nat wiggled her brows. quick to avoid you as you attempted to swat her in the ass, eyes now turned away from God and his training partners.

"By type, you mean psychotic with possible Daddy-issue? Then you might just be right." You snort.

"I'm offended you think of me as such, Darling"

Jerking your head to the owner of the voice, how the hell did he sneak up behind you without you noticing. You glanced at Nat in panic and like the traitor that she was, made a terrible excuse of being needed in Bruce's lab. Now being left in the man's presence, you could all but remember the last time you had been this close to the man.

Heartbreaks.

Words that you didn't mean.

Words that he didn't mean.

It still hurt you, and you were sure it hurts him just as much, if not more now, finally realizing why there had been a need for a breakup between the two of them all those weeks ago.

"Here I thought I would have someone to trust. You mortals continue to disappoint me." He hissed.

Your eyes glanced at the other training trio, noticing all three of them were in their own little world to even noticed what was going on between the two of them.

"Tell me, Darling..." He whispered, head leaning towards the shell of your ears. The familiar shiver run through your skin as just his voice. Memories of the very things his silver tongue had whispered had you flustered and breathless, more than from your earlier training with Nat. "Was it satisfying to play with a God?"

Before you could even mutter a word, his constantly gentle hand now covered your jaw, emitting a squeak from your lips and stopping you from saying a word. He was never this forceful, nor did he do anything that would hurt you. Was this the true nature of the man you had finally thought you have been the best part of you. To have loved a man that everyone was right to stay away from?

"Or is it shame finally coming to you, to be ever involved with someone like me?"

You tried to pry his hand away from you, but he was too strong--stronger than you could ever think of being.

"Or is this you taking your opportunity to move from one bed to another? Who will it be this time, Y/N? My oaf of a brother or will it be Soldier out of time? Who will you whore this time?"

And you finally snapped. With a resounding slap, all three individuals had heard your attack on the man and Loki finally releasing his hold on your jaws. A chuckle escaped his lips and only brought the first line of tears to fall from your eyes. You never wanted to believe him to be a monster, but here he was, proving her wrong.

"I am in doubt of the foundation of our relationship for the past years, Y/N. I am the God of Mischief and Lies and the only mortal I had ever truly opened to had done this to me. Lied to me for such a long time, lied about the entirety of our relationship."

"You will never understand."

"Oh no," he chuckled darkly, eyes glaring straight into your own. "I understand well enough to know, you would never love someone like me and I deserve every lie and heartache I am enduring because of everything I have ever done in my past."

Before you could defend yourself and the genuinity of your relationship with the God, he had made his excuse. Leaving you to ponder of the true damage of your breakup with Loki, and the aftermath it had now held for the both of you. He was right, you had lied, and either way, their relationship will fall apart because of those lies.

He was the God of Mischief and Lies.

Yet, he did not expect for this biggest lie to break him the most. The separation had been painful, he had always hoped for a better life with you. Then a month passed since your breakup, he sees you, it hits him like a sharp knife to the chest all over again. He experience the pain of a stab to the chest, but it would never compare to the pain of seeing you in this very compound with the truth of your life that you refused to ever open to him.

This was karma coming to haunt him it seems.

It had been well over a week now since the first time he had actually confronted you about everything. It wasn't how he planned for things to go through. He never wanted to hurt you, but he was a monster after all. A monster that his own father had told his people to avoid. A bedtime story to scare mischievous kids into submission.

He had always thought after everything he had to endure, had to do, had to escape, he could finally live a peaceful life. A life to finally start anew. A life where he could finally change for the best. A mortal woman had made him make those ideas come into reality, you had always became the reason why he would never have his redemption in life.

A bitter idea with no possible resolution.

How could he have ever believed that anyone would ever love someone like him? After everything he had ever done, he was never allowed to be loved. You had proved that somehow.

'Mr. Laufeyson, you are needed for a meeting with the team'

Breaking from his little bubble. He sighed finally returning back to reality, into the little comforts the library could give him. The week had been gruelling for him, three individual witnessed the altercation between himself and you. It had spread like wildfire, but thanking the Gods that no one was able to listen to the conversation.

He had to endure most of the questioning. In everyone's eyes, he was, after all, still under everyone's constant scrutiny. A man that no one could trust. But he refused to say a single word knowing you did the same thing. It was better to keep your mouth shut instead of letting people know exactly what had happened. Somehow that brought a smile on his face. He might not share a future with you, but might as well make the most out of making your life a living hell, as much you did it to him.

Shutting the book he was barely even reading, he placed the book back into the shelf before walking his way towards the meeting room.

He could easily teleport, but he preferred to enjoy his moments of peace without his oaf of a brother breathing down his neck or Stark constantly testing his patience with his quips. It also gave him a moment to school his features, he knew well enough about the mission to know you would also be in attendance. Be more invested in this mission than anyone else.

It was a few things he was relearning about you now that you were out in the open as everyone claims you to be. You were a free spirited being that could meld with anyone you were in the area with. He had watched you throw relentless jabs at Tony during your first few days that had the man surprisingly raise a white flag. But the most dangerous thing he had to learn was the familial relationship you had with one Natasha Romanoff and Clint Burton, two people that he kept his distance with the most.

"Professor Snape has finally graced us with his presence."

Loki has learned since joining the team to choose his battle when it comes to Tony. This was one of those moment. Finding a vacant chair besides his brother, he had taken his seat. A big mistake on his part as he finds from across the table, you sat. In between a glaring Romanoff and Barton.

Wearing a smirk, just to get on the two super spies' nerve, he turned his attention right back into the meeting. He begins formulating a few little schemes to not only get on the two's nerved, but most especially yours.

#loki laufeyson oneshot #loki laufeyson one shot #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson imagines #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki one shot #loki oneshot #loki imagines #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki x you #loki angst #loki fluff #sucker for pain

[randomrosewrites]

From the beginning to the very end.

Seeing the one you love fall for someone else hurts.

Pairing: Diluc X GN reader (unrequited), mentioned Kaeya x reader (not focused on) Words: 3.3K Warnings/ tags: Alcohol/ drinking mention, unrequited love, reader drinks to cope at one point, general angst. a/n: This was requested by anon. I’ve taken the prompt and altered it a bit, Kaeya and Diluc are both emotionally complicated men *sigh* Someone help them.

Your arrival into Diluc’s life is with all the grace of a baby fawn attempting to stand. Choppy. Awkward. A tad pitiable.

It’s a Friday night at Angel’s Share. The worst ones to be bartender, and precisely why Diluc always drags himself into town to suffer for a few hours. It’s the days where the knights, both seniors and new recruits, gather to spend their weekly wages of mora. He knows the tradition well, after his time with the knights. He used to always sit in the back corner with Kaeya, the two giggling as they drank non-alcoholic cider.

…but the past is the past, and he refuses to dwell on it any further.

They trickle in sometime around 9pm. They’re easy to spot. Uniforms too pristine, armor too shiny. He watches as wide-eyed recruits alongside experienced knights file into the reserved table at the back.

The brave one is sent from the flock to the bar, to order drinks for the table. Diluc gives you his best intimidating stare, arms crossed over his chest. You fiddle with the front of your uniform as you approach the bar, nervously shifting from foot to foot.

“Hello Sir, uh, could I have uhm…” you take a second to count on your fingers. “Ten drinks, please?”

Well, at least you can get your sentence out. (Sawyer, one of the new recruits from a few months back, mumbled everything. It took Diluc ten minutes to figure out what he wanted.) “What kind?”

“Oh…the regular kind?”

He could make this easier on you, but he decidedly doesn’t. “There is no regular kind. Dandelion wine? Lamp-Grass cider?”

“Uh, ten glasses of dandelion wine, please.”

He raises a brow. “Everyone is of age, even the recruits?”

“Oh, yes, the younger ones’ curfew ended an hour ago.”

One quick glance over proves your truth. Fine. He gets the drinks ready quite easily. It’s just pouring wine from the barrels into their tankers. Once he has them on a tray, he says, “Ten thousand Mora.”

“Oh…uh…” you stare at your feet in embarrassment, apparently just realizing that yes drinks cost mora. “I-“

“If you can’t pay,” he starts, annoyance seeping into his voice. “Then I suggest you get out.”

Maybe that was a bit too harsh. Your jaw clenches. Your hands tighten into fists. Diluc thinks you’re about to burst into tears or run out the front door when a hand lands on your shoulder.

“Not to worry, I’ll cover the costs for this.”

Of course. He’d be here, of all nights.

You look to your saviour, lighting up. “Oh, thank you, Captain Kaeya.”

Kaeya smiles amicably, patting your shoulder. “My pleasure. Join the others, I’ll carry the drinks there shortly.”

You hurry off to the table, not one to disobey your superior’s orders. Diluc and Kaeya are left alone at the bar, the former frowning, the later smiling.

Kaeya places a sack of mora on the counter. “Feel free to count it, every coin is in there.”

Diluc snatches it, tossing it under the cabinet. (Kaeya always pays in full. Either that or he purposely omits a single coin, just to fuck with him. But it’s not worth it for Diluc to count ten thousand coins individually.)

“Corrupting fresh recruits already, aren’t you?” Diluc says.

Kaeya chuckles dryly. “Why, Master Diluc, I’d never do such an atrocious thing.”

Kaeya picks up the tray before Diluc can make some sort of witty retort. “Now, I’ve got to amuse myself. Enjoy your night, Master Diluc.”

Kaeya remains out of his hair for the rest of the night. By all accounts, it’s a good thing, but tonight, it only makes Diluc moodier. Especially when he glances over at the knights table, spotting the captain’s arm strung over the back of your chair.

---

“What on earth are you doing?”

You jump, turning to face Diluc, leaning against the nearby tree. He’d been patrolling the area for threats when he’d noticed you, swinging your sword about in the middle of Windrise. The fact that he’d managed to catch you by surprise unnerved him. (You were a knight; you’d need to learn to be alert.)

“Practicing, Master Diluc.” You wipe the sweat from your face with your shirt and Diluc quickly averts his eyes to a group of slimes slugging around the Anemo Arcon Statue. He’d have to deal with them later.

“Don’t the knights have a dedicated training area?” They do. He knows this, outside the city walls or on the northern shores of Cider Lake, he used to go there and take recruits when he was a captain, make them run up and down the sloping hills all afternoon in full armour.

“Ah, they do, yes, but I mostly prefer to train alone.”

Diluc chews on your words for a moment, before pushing off from the tree and striding towards you. “Hold your sword again.”

You hesitate, drawing your sword and holding it like you were doing previously.

Diluc covers his hands with yours, moving them along the sword. “Adjust your hands like this. You’ll have more force when you swing and you’re less likely to hurt yourself if you hit something solid.”

He steps back, allowing you to swing a few times in the air. “Use your chest more, not just your arms – good. Again.”

About an hour passes, with Diluc giving instructions, doing a very bad job of hiding his stares, and with you doing as he says. He doesn’t realize how long it’s been until you sheath your sword, and the sun has set over the horizon.

“I apologize, Master Diluc, but I’ve got to get back to the headquarters now.”

“Oh.” He says, stupidly. Of course, you’d have to leave, to go back to the knights, but that thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “I see, yes. I suppose you should.”

You bow respectfully. “Thank you for your help, you really are as sweet as Captain Kaeya says.”

He suppresses the growl that rises from his throat. Figures, Kaeya would call him that. “Mhm.”

You salute him, the standard knight’s salute. He nods his head as you start back towards Mondstadt, pondering why he decided to help you, until you fade from sight.

---

He swears, he doesn’t mean to keep meeting you like this.

He had been exploring an abandoned domain north of Wolvendom, looking for any members of the abyss order. Fortunately – or unfortunately, there hadn’t been anything but slimes and old artifacts inside, and he’d come out soaked head to toe with water.

He was starting up the path when he saw you huddled by an electro crystal, poking it with your sword and jolting back when it shocked you.

“…you can’t break those with normal attacks,” he says. “They’re elemental crystals.”

You turn around, not surprised by his sudden presence (good, you’re learning.) “You can break them?”

Arcons, do they not teach the knights anything anymore?

Instead of arguing, he simply demonstrates, calling flames to his claymore and slicing the rock. An explosion of pyro and electro occurs, shattering the crystal into purple chunks.

You gape at the crystals. “Wow, you’re amazing, Master Diluc.”

He flushes at your praise, coughing and adjusting his tie. “It’s nothing. What are you interested in with the crystals anyways?”

“Captain Albedo requested them. I guess I’ll have to get outrider amber to gather them, or klee, perhaps…'' you collect the chunks into a small bag, standing up and brushing the dust from your pants. “Thank you again, Master Diluc. You always seem to be helping me out a lot.”

“It’s no trouble,” he says, swallowing for a moment. His throat feels tight and his palms are sweating in his gloves.

You salute him. He nods. They’re your usual goodbyes, nowadays. He watches you march off, the crystals clinking around in your bag.

“Wait,” he splutters, the objection coming from his throat without thinking.

You turn around, waiting expectantly. Diluc swallows, again. (When did he get so warm?)

“Next time, please just call me Diluc.”

You blink carefully, then smile. “Alright, Diluc.”

The sound of his name on your tongue makes his heart race and sends electricity through his stomach.

(And not just because of the nearby electro crystals.)

---

Two days later, a bag of purple electro crystals appears at your doorstep in the Knight’s headquarters. There is no name from the sender, but you suspect who it is from the emblem of the dawn winery logo upon the bag.

You smile to yourself, then hurry to deliver the goods to Captain Albedo.

---

“Do you have a crush on someone, Master Diluc?”

He nearly drops his teacup in his lap, sputtering into his drink. Adeline doesn’t even flinch, handing him a handkerchief to wipe his mouth with. His owl preens herself on its stand, indifferent to her master’s squabbling.

“P-pardon?”

“I asked if you had a crush on anyone.”

“…what would make you consider that?”

She clears the table swiftly, shrugging. “You seem to be in good spirits. You’ve been smiling more, and you’re more pleasant.”

He frowns. “Are you suggesting I’m usually moody?”

Adelinde’s face remains blank. “Not at all, sir.”

She bows and leaves him to his thoughts and paperwork.

A crush. Ridiculous…he’s not a schoolboy. And besides, he hasn’t been acting differently. Sure, he’s taken more shifts on Friday night, and he’s been visiting Windrise more often in hopes of maybe running into a certain knight, but that doesn’t mean anything. It’s all justifiable.

…

His owl cocks her head at him, even she knows when he’s lying to himself.

“…don’t look at me like that.” He huffs, turning around in his desk, back facing the owl.

---

Once the thought is in Diluc’s head, he can’t get it out. It doesn’t help that over the next few months, your presence around him only amplifies his feelings.

Every breath you take, every little movement you make - it transfixes him. He feels drawn to you naturally, wanting to be closer to you, coming up with more and more ridiculous topic ideas just so he can hear you speak.

He feels happy. He begins looking forward to the next day and the next week, not apprehensive about what new problems might arise.

And just as soon as he’s settled into the norm, the world decides to rip it away from him.

---

The knights file into their usual spots on a friday night. Diluc greets them with the same, stiff nods, except this time, his scowl isn’t as deep, and the furrow in his brows is loose. For the knights coming to celebrate means that he might have a chance to see you.

And he does. Diluc can’t stop the way his lips turn upwards when the door swings open and you file in. You give a wave, he nods back.

He does his best to not stare as you socialize with the other knights - (there really are a lot of them here tonight. Even Captain Albedo is among them) - but he fails miserably. So much so that he forgets to serve the other patrons up front.

It’s a relief when you eventually wander over to the bar. You don’t even need to tell him your order anymore - he just gets to doing it immediately.

“Big celebration?” he asks.

You slide into the seat and smile. “I suppose you could say that.”

He raises a brow and pushes the drinks towards you, leaning on the bar. “Oh? Is it a knights secret I’m not privy to know about?”

You swat at him harmlessly and his breathing hitches at your chuckle. “No, not a secret. It’s just nice to celebrate for celebration's sake, you know?”

He does not, but nods anyways. “I suppose it is. In any case, you seem very happy.”

You cover your growing smile with your hand. “Do I?”

“Yes, did you get a promotion? Replace Kaeya as Cavalry Captain?”

“No! No, nothing like that…” you laugh and shake your head. “But Kaeya…”

He hadn’t expected his joke to actually hold some truth. He presses, “Kaeya?”

“Well, we -” you avert your gaze, eyes softening in bliss. “We’re um - a thing. Now.”

Diluc pales, nearly falling off the bar.

“Oh.”

“Yes...please keep it a secret, we don’t want anyone knowing just yet.”

Diluc’s head spins. It feels like a lump of coal is stuck in his throat. He swallows and tries to stop his breaths from becoming erratic.

“Congratulations… I hope-” his voice cracks and he clears his throat. “I wish the best for the both of you.”

“Thank you, Diluc.” you reach over and pat his hand. He barely conceals a flinch, wanting to rip it away. “

You walk back to the knights, and for the rest of the night, he operates on autopilot, picking at the remaining shattered pieces of his heart.

---

It hurts.

Rain and sweat get in his eyes. He ducks to avoid a swing of a club, swinging his fiery claymore in retaliation. He doesn’t know how long he’s been here, only that his hands are numb from gripping his weapon for so long. A long gash runs up his side, stinging each time he moves.

The ache in his chest hurts more.

How naive, how silly, to entertain the idea that you’d ever like him back.

Diluc closes his eyes, and consumes himself in violence once more.

---

He doesn’t frequent the bar for the next week. Enough to collect his thoughts. Enough to smother the pang of hurt he feels whenever he gazes at you.

He’s above this, above being debilitated by his emotions.

(He knows he is not.)

---

Things get better, as they always do. Things always go back to a level of normal. He returns to work at the bar. He returns to looking forward to your visits.

The front door swings open. He expectantly turns, smile dying on his face when he sees who’s entered.

“Jeez. You think I’ve just murdered someone how you’re looking at me,” Kaeya sighs.

“What do you want?” Kaeya’s the last person he wants to see. Especially since - since -

“Can’t I just drop by for a drink?” Kaeya takes his seat at the corner of the bar. Diluc resists the urge to throw the glass in his hand. He never gets to the point, always meandering about the issue, chatting about this or that until the other party is exhausted trying to humour him.

Not Diluc.

“You’re never here to just drink. Out with it.”

“…I was just wondering how you feel about our newest knight.”

He inhales through his teeth and sets the glass he was polishing down. Fine, if that’s the game Kaeya was going to play, he’d play along. “I think it’s improper for you to be engaged in a relationship with your subordinates.”

Kaeya grimaces, keeping his eye on the wood counter. “Do you say that because you care for workplace standards, or are you perhaps-”

“No.”

“ - jealous?”

The towl ignites in his hands. “Fuck off. Get out of my bar. Now.”

Kaeya sighs, but gets up from his seat, hands raised. “Alright, fine...but If it’s any consultation, I understand how you feel.”

“You don’t get to know where I’m coming from,” each word feels like acid down Diluc’s throat. “You don’t ever get to understand how I feel.”

Kaeya smiles sadly. “I know. And because of that, I’m not gonna come in the way between you two.”

Kaeya opens the door and waves before Diluc can question him. “Good night, master Diluc.”

The door shuts behind him as he leaves. Diluc tosses the towel in the trash, blood boiling underneath his skin.

---

He doesn’t see much of you or Kaeya for a week. (Which he supposes is good. If he saw Kaeya now, Barbados wouldn’t be able to stop him from getting into a fight.)

The next time he sees you is late one night, when most of the patrons have left. You look a mess, hair disheveled, feet dragging against the floor. You mumble your order to him before dragging yourself upstairs, one foot at a time.

Diluc brings what you requested up – one of his strongest liquors – to find you staring off into space. He sets your glass down gently, and you snap from your reprieve.

“Here’s your order. If you need anything…just let me know.”

You nod, keeping your eyes focused downwards. “Thank you, Diluc.”

His heart breaks at how defeated you sound. He returns to his post for the remainder of the night.

Never once does the cavalry captain come in. Diluc has a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

It’s many hours later when the tavern closes for the night. Diluc shucks on his coat and goes upstairs, finding you half-asleep on the table, empty glass clutched tight in your grasp.

He shakes you gently and you stir with a moan. “It’s closing time. Do you need help getting home?”

You laugh bitterly. “Where is ‘home’?”

Diluc wordlessly slips the glass from your hands. “Come on, let’s get you back to the knights headquarters.”

Exhausted, you relent, leaning on Diluc heavily as he escorts you out of Angel’s Share. The smell of alcohol is strong on both your breath and clothes. It makes Diluc’s nose wrinkle.

You stumble over stones and steps. The walk back to the knights headquarters takes twice as long as it normally would. Diluc doesn’t mind, instinctively activating his vision when he feels you shiver from the cold.

“I thought Kaeya loved me,” you say suddenly, resting your head on his shoulder. “He said he…”

Diluc doesn’t – can’t – say anything, not when the lump of guilt in his stomach threatens to tear him apart from the inside out.

---

Truthfully, he’d thought you would have left the Knights after that incident. It must have been beyond difficult - having to see the person who broke your heart every day.

But you don’t. Diluc already knew how determined and strong you are, and you prove to be stronger than he could have ever foresaw.

It’s rough. There are nights where you show up to the tavern, barely coherent and full of grief. But there are others where you show up with Albedo, or Amber, and he gets to see you smile again.

He observes you from afar, at windrise, training with Noelle, getting quicker and quicker with your sword each day.

The seasons come and go, snow falls and melts, and when the dandelions grow again, before he ever knows it, you’re a Captain yourself.

The tavern is full for your celebration. Wine flows freely - free of charge thanks to Diluc - and the air is abuzz with joyous conversation.

“My highest congratulations, Captain,” Diluc says, raising his own glass (non-alcoholic) in toast.

You clink cups with him, smiling in your new uniform. (You’re radiant, he thinks to himself). “I can’t thank you enough, Diluc...for everything. I’ve always seen you as one of my closest friends.”

Friends. The word cuts deeply into his heart. Yes, friends. But being friends is something that he is ok with. He can watch you thrive, watch you live your life, he can keep your presence in his life, a small candle flickering in the dead of winter.

He knows your heart is elsewhere, he sees it in your eyes whenever you see the colour blue, or whenever the scent of death-after-noon waffs through the air. Your grief isn’t as prominent, but still there.

He doesn’t know if your feelings for Kaeya, if you even have any after the breakup, will ever go away. Perhaps they’ll stay over you like a looming shadow for the rest of your life.

If only – he’ll think, on nights when you’ve fallen asleep on his couch, bottle of wine beside you – if only he hadn’t said anything, maybe you’d be happy with Kaeya.

But the past is the path, and he must look to the future. The future where he can stand by your side, in whatever way you’ll accept him.

(Alone from the beginning, alone in the end. Fitting, for someone like him.)

#i can't beleive this is 3.3k #*falls over* #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #diluc imagines #diluc fic #diluc fanfic #genshin impact fiction #diluc x y/n #diluc x you #my writing

[kai-writes-fan-fiction]

In Hiding Part 4/?

Hey loves! Sorry it took so long for me to write part 4, I’ve had school and band. I like this chapter, so I hope you do too!

Word count: 1566

Warnings: Really un graphic violence, mentions of undiagnosed PTSD, OCD, and depression, and my inability to write good endings

The last 30 minutes on the Quinjet were pure hell. Tony kept trying to grill you, and you didn’t respond, which motivated him to ask even more questions.

Finally, he rolled his eyes and asked, “Where are your parents?”

Hundreds of locked-away memories flooded your mind. Your parents had sold you to HYDRA at age 5. You didn't know much about your parents or their identities.

After he asked about your parents, you broke eye contact and looked anywhere but into someone's eyes.

“I see.” Tony scowled but continued asking more questions, but you weren't in the mood, even more now than before.

You eventually drifted off into a daydream as Tony’s questions slurred together. You dreamt about what your life could've been if you had parents and weren't mutant. You could still have parents; you wouldn't have sustained all of that torture at HYDRA, and you would've gotten to go to school!

School, something many take for granted. You didn't have any higher education, and being 15 and more innovative and 99.99% of the world, it was a moot point. Still, being among everyday people, having friends, and discovering your passions, would be amazing.

Snaps in your face brought you back, courtesy of Tony.

“Kid. Kid! Hello?” He snapped in your face.

You had returned to Earth and- hey, look at that! Tony is within head butting distance. Maybe it'd get him to shut up, or would Loki attack again? He was staring at you from the back of the jet, unmoving, eyes trying to predict your following movements.

“KID!” Tony shouted.

You'd had enough of hearing him in your face, so you turned back to him, made eye contact, and-

“Don’t do that, girl.” Loki snarled from his seat.

Tony turned to him and cocked his head.

“She was going to headbutt you, obviously. Don't get within 5 feet of her.”

Tony thanked him quietly and sat in his seat, glaring at you. You made eye contact with him once more, and you smirked.

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for a few tiny pockets of conversation and Tony coming up with more dumb questions, which you elected to ignore.

——————————

You had finally reached the compound, and all you could think about was your impending doom.

Steve picked you up again, as your restraints render you immobile. You fell limp in his arms, head dangling. You were so tired and so worried.

Steve carried you into the compound and to a room, or rather, a cell. The space was empty except for a cot in the corner and a sink. The wall next to the door sported a one-way mirror.

“You’ll stay in here; Stark wants to ask you more questions; he’ll be in here soon.” He put you down on the floor, and you looked up to him. He uncuffed you and swiftly ran out in fear of you trying to bolt again.

Little did you know, he and many of the other team members were staring at you from the other side of the glass, observing you in attempts to understand how you worked and your erotic behavior.

The room was made of something that made you powerless, and the walls were a blinding white. There weren’t any windows, and a single notepad and pencil lay on the bed.

You sat in the center of the room for 5 minutes, staying stationary. Once more, scenarios of what the Avengers might do to you crowded your mind. Tears came again, and you sobbed quietly. Everything hurt, and you were once again reminded that you'd been awake for almost 24 hours. So you carefully laid yourself out on the ground, being mindful of your bruises, and cried there.

—————Avengers POV—————

“So- uh- what do we do now?” Steve pointed to you, still crying on the floor.

“Poor thing,” Wanda remarked, frowning.

“Poor thing? She may be a child, but she's evil!” Tony scoffed.

“She could be a beneficial asset to the team,” Nat suggested.

“I don’t trust her.” Tony crossed his arms and looked back to your shaking figure.

“Tony, I kinda volunteered to go talk to her.” Steve turns back to him. “She's got a notepad, and if she doesn’t open up, we’ll send someone else in.”

“Why the hell did you volunteer me? Kid hates me; it's obvious.”

“Just go see if you can get anything out of her, Tony,” Natasha ordered.

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes, stepping into your cell.

—————Your POV—————

Tony Stark stepped into your cell, the door shut with a loud ‘thud.’ His intentions were unclear, so you backed into a corner. He crouched in front of you and looked into your puffy, red eyes.

Now that the two of you weren't fighting, he noticed how truly young you were; you still had that childlike glimmer in your bright blue eyes. You had been turned into a villain, but it wasn’t your fault.

“Hey, kid.”

You didn’t respond, just blinked. He grabbed the notepad and pencil on the bed.

“Since we haven’t heard you speak, we put this here for you to write on. Do you know how to write?”

Of course, you knew how to write. You stared at Stark, annoyed that he thought you couldn’t write, and slowly nodded your head.

He handed you the notepad and pencil and asked your name, which he knew. He was trying to create a sense of normalcy for you.

“(Y/N)” You wrote.

“You have great handwriting and a beautiful name (Y/N).” He said, reaching for your hand.

You winced when Tony touched you and quickly brushed him off.

“Understood.” Tony moved back and asked you, “Did HYDRA give you your powers?”

“I don’t think so. I was young. I don’t know.” You wrote. You did know, however. You were born with powers, and that’s why your parents sold you. You were too much to handle, and many people were willing to pay hefty prices for you.

You weren’t fond of visiting HYDRA memories, let alone talking about them. Memories of being tortured plagued your dreams every night, and it seems that HYDRA had found a way to torture you even after you escaped.

Often loud noises would bring back memories, as would needles and human contact.

“I want my clothes back.” You wrote. You thought they might bring some semblance of home, a piece of you to hold, and you’d be able to smell your apartment and yourself.

Tony nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Do you need anything else?”

You shook your head and wrote, “Please leave now. And don’t stare at me from the window. It's creepy.”

Tony chuckled. “Ok, Banner is going to come to check on you at some point.”

You nodded and waved your hand towards the door, signaling him to leave.

Tony slowly got up, and you stared silently as he left the cell. Before he shut the door, he looked back to you, stationary on the floor, staring up at him. Once he was gone, you stared into the mirror, not at yourself but any unsuspecting souls behind it.

Once you thought the sufficient amount of staring was reached, you got up and went to the bed at the far corner of your cell. It was perpendicular to the door, so you could see if anyone entered and be ready to defend yourself.

–—————————

It must've been an hour or so until Banner walked into your cell. You jumped up from the bed and pushed yourself into a corner. He frowned and set down what he was carrying, which was a tray of food and your clothing.

He stepped away from said items, and you scrambled to grab them, scared he’d take them back. You backed yourself into your corner once more, shielding yourself with your clothing.

“Hey, (Y/N). Remember me?”

You scowled. You remembered him, and you weren't very fond of the memories you shared with him.

You didn't move, eyes still trained on him. He kneeled about 5 feet away from you, not wanting to startle you.

His voice was low and soft when he asked, “Can I come closer?”

You stared, not knowing how to answer. Would Bruce hurt you again? Could you trust him? It didn’t look like he was holding anything more to hurt you. You allowed yourself to creep closer, slowly inching towards him.

“See, baby steps.” He looked towards the window. You assumed some people were still watching the two of you.

You let yourself come closer, until you were about a foot away from him.

“Can I touch your hand?” He reached out and touched you, but you winced and pulled your hand away. You still didn’t trust him, you would need a whole lot more prof before letting him, or anyone for that matter, touch you.

“Ok, I’m going to go now, get some sleep.” He stood and turned away from you, heading to the exit.

He stepped out, and turned off the lights in your room. It was almost pitch black, except for a dim light coming through the window. You climbed into the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. You were exhausted, but sleep refused to come.

It must have been 45 minutes when you finally drifted off to a restless sleep. You dreamt about what would meet you in the morning.

Tag list: @sweetpeaflower01 @kinny-away @mangobangi @cumulonimbus34 @oakiedokie @moonbaejpeg @coollemonsaresour @screechingshepherddeputygoth @trinity-1002107 @padmoonyfeorge @laurenced1l @vaaalexandra

#avengers fic #avengers au #avengers x fem!reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x you #avengers x platonic reader #the avengers #avengers x reader #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki #loki x you #tony stark x you #tony stark smut #loki smut #tony stark x teen!reader #tony stark x reader #bruce banner #bruce banner x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #bucky x enhanced!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #wanda maximov #wanda maximov x reader

[lyrical-panic]

Hi is it ok to make a enimes to lovers tenya iida?plzzz with a grung y/n???

Yes yes yes YES YES YES

So, as I’m typing this, I’ve got a Google tab with pictures of grunge fashion behind my Pages document because I had no idea what it was before and now I’m obsessed. I can totally see Iida falling for someone with this type of style, it’d be so cute! 

This ended up being really long skjfguanspdifhaosdi

Hope you like what I whipped up!!

Never Hated You

Masterlist

Prompt List

. . . 

“(L/N)! Get your feet off of the desk this instant!”

You groaned loudly as the class rep marched up to your desk, a stormy look painted across his face.

“Iida, chill out.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your ankles on top of the desk. “I’m not hurting anyone.”

“Be that as it may, I will not stand for the disrespect of school property!” Iida blustered. “Do you have any idea how many great people have sat in your desk, learning to carry on the mantle of hero? How can you sit here and put your feet up on-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, dude.” You rolled your eyes again, making a big show of putting your feet down. “There, happy?”

“Quite.” The bespectacled boy bristled, not looking happy at all.

You chuckled, waggling your fingers in farewell as Iida returned to his own desk. Kirishima, in the seat in front of you, leaned back. “You sure do like riling him up, huh?”

“Someone’s gotta teach him that not everything needs to be taken so seriously.” You shrugged. “Besides, he’s kinda hot when he’s angry.”

“Dude!” Kirishima laughed in surprise.

“Am I wrong?” You snorted, gesturing to the boy in question, who still looked very irritated, and very handsome. 

Did you find Tenya Iida wildly attractive? Yes, yes you did. You were very vocal about that and you found no shame in it. That being said, did you also find him a little annoying? Yes. So he was not saved from your constant teasing and pestering.

At the beginning of the year, you realized that you seemed to be the epitome of everything Iida detested. You were brash, not afraid to pick a fight, and always had some witty remark to make. You never wore the complete uniform, opting to leave your gray blazer at home, replacing it with your favorite leather jacket. The prescribed neat little shoes had been swapped out in favor of your old combat boots. Iida had just about had a conniption fit when he’d first met you.

Realizing that the overly serious boy was constantly up your ass, and that he was in point of fact very cute, you made it your personal mission to annoy him to the ends of the earth. 

It worked spectacularly. Sometimes a little too spectacularly.

On multiple occasions you pushed too much, resulting in boorish lectures from the much taller boy that you could’ve slept through, if not for the decibel at which he gave them. It never seemed to deter you though. The next day you’d come back with a self-satisfied grin on your face as you plunked your boots up onto your desk. He was too cute for you to stop.

Over time, you stopped teasing him just for the sake of being an asshole. Though you’d never admit it out loud, Tenya Iida was starting to grow on you. You lightened up on the torture, only to spend more time actually trying to get him to talk to you. He always seemed suspicious of you though, to no fault but your own, you figured. So you made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

“Hey, Iida.” You leaned against his desk after class one day. “Think we could get together over the weekend and do homework? I’m having a little trouble understanding the math stuff.”

“You want me to help you with homework?” Both of the class reps eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. 

“Yeah, man,” You affirmed, chuckling. “Who else would I go to?”

Yaoyorozu. Midoriya. Todoroki. Iida listed in his mind. All of them are doing exceptionally well, and you don’t make yourself the bane of their existences.

“It’s just,” Iida pursed his lips, organizing his thoughts. “I certainly wouldn’t mind helping you if you really need it. I didn’t think you liked me very much, though.”

“And I didn’t think you liked me, but here you are, telling me you wouldn’t mind helping me out.” You chuckled, and smiled sadly. “I’ve never disliked you, Iida.”

. . .

To say you confused Iida would be the understatement of the century. You appeared to him as someone who didn’t care one bit about structure or rules. But as he sat next to you in a coffee shop, explaining quadratic functions, you seemed to really care. You poured over your homework, a pensive look on your face, turning to him every time you came across something you didn’t quite understand.

“I don’t get it.” He said quietly as you scribbled away at your worksheet.

“Really? Cause I’m just starting to.”

“No, not the homework.” Iida sighed, staring at you.

“Then what’s up?” You put your pencil down, matching his gaze.

“Why do you go out of your way to aggravate me so often if you don’t dislike me?”

The question caught you off guard. You glanced away, almost guiltily.

“At first, I did it just to get a rise out of you.” You admitted. “I guess I started getting fond of you though, and I realized that annoying you was the only way to get you to talk to me.”

Now Iida was the one to be caught off guard. “Y-you just wanted to talk to me?” He repeated.

“Yeah, and I thought I had ruined it.” You placed your head in your hand, and swirled your drink around in its cup with the other. “I thought I had provoked you too much by the time I realized I wanted to be your friend. I honestly thought you hated me.”

“Never!” Iida was shocked by the idea. He very rarely hated anyone. When his brother had been attacked, that was the first time that he had ever felt that boiling pit of rage in his stomach. “You irritated me to no end, yes, but I never hated you.”

“Hey, I’ll take it!” You conceded with a laugh.

Iida found himself laughing with you. He watched as smile lines etched themselves onto your face as your grin widened.

“(L/N), what say we start over?” He suggested. “I would like to be your friend, too.”

You gave the boy a disbelieving, yet giddy smile. “I would be more than happy to do that, Iida.”

. . . 

Something very peculiar was happening to Tenya, and it seemed to be your fault.

When you playfully teased him, he swore his heart rate accelerated to five times what was normal. Whenever he said something that made you laugh, he felt like he was on top of the world. He felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach when you’d put your hand on his arm.

None of these feelings were bad, per se. In fact, they actually felt quite good. It was like a calm washed over him whenever he was in your presence. He felt more relaxed than he’d ever been when he was around you.

So, there was no problem with what was happening, but that didn’t stop Tenya from still being wildly confused. 

The feeling also made him want to protect you.

This too was a mystifying thought. He wanted to keep all his classmates safe, of course, but somehow it was different when it came to you. But you were perfectly capable of protecting yourself, you being an excellent hero. You had great control over your quirk, and you knew your limits. Not to mention you “kicked ass” in combat training, to use your words.

Tenya knew all this well, in fact he reminded you of it regularly during training. So why, when villains dropped into the clearing of the training camp, was his first instinct to get in front of you? Why did he grab your hand and pull you closer to him as you ran with your classmates back to the main building? Why did his hand linger on your shoulder even when you were inside and out of the danger?

You asked yourself these questions, too, but you didn’t complain. It’s not like Tenya Iida grabbing you and holding you protectively was a bad thing, but he looked too pale for you to resign yourself to not questioning him.

“You okay, Bub?” You asked, glancing up at the bespectacled boy in concern. 

“What? Oh, y-yes, sorry.” Tenya separated himself from you, but you grabbed his hand before he could get too far, pulling him back to your side.

“This is scary,” You muttered as a way of explanation, your face heating up.

Heat rushed to his face as well, but he didn’t try pulling away again. He readjusted your grip so it was more comfortable. “Yes,” He murmured back in agreement.

You stood in silence for a moment, listening to the rest of your classmates chatter away in fear. You squeezed Tenya’s hand. He repeated the gesture. 

“Tenya?”

The sound of his given name pushing past your lips pleasantly surprised him, but he quickly shook off his confoundedness. “Yes?”

“I was going to tell you something tonight, but I’m afraid my plans have been ruined.” A wobbly smile crossed your face, but it fell almost immediately after. “Once this whole ordeal is over, and we’re all back at school safe, remind me to tell you then, okay?”

“Why can’t you just tell me now?”

You shook your head. “Now is defiantly not the time.”

“Well, alright then.” Tenya squeezed out hand again. “Although I’m afraid you’ve made me quite anxious to hear what you have to say, (Y/N).”

You smiled weakly again at hearing your own first name. “Now you know what it feels like when a teacher tells you to see them after class, Mr. Class Rep.”

. . . 

Tenya remembered your request as he was putting books on a shelf in his new dorm room. He stopped short, the conversation replaying in his mind. As much as he wanted to march himself over to your room that very instant, he resigned himself to waiting.

“I’m still not done settling in,” He muttered to himself, surveying the several boxes filled with personal belongings stacked neatly in a corner. “And (Y/N)’s probably still unpacking, too.”

A new-found vigor to his actions, Tenya found himself hurrying to complete his task. It had only taken the few days spent at home away from you and a quick conversation with his brother for him to realize that he had a crush on you. Reject the idea as he tried, it made a lot of sense. 

He chuckled humorously to himself. What had you done to him? He used to see you as nothing more than a misbehaving delinquent who constantly went out of their way to get on his nerves. So what happened? What did you do?

You befriended him. You had looked at him with that sad, sincere smile, and told him that you thought you’d ruined your only chance of being friends with him. You’d heard him out as he heard you out.

It wasn’t a question of what you had done, not anymore. It was all Tenya.

He had given you a second chance. And he never regretted it for one moment.

He still didn’t regret it, even when you grabbed his arm and tugged him along with the rest of the class to survey everyone’s rooms. He still didn’t regret it even when they got to his room, and you put on a pair of his glasses, flopping onto his bed as you teased him for the shelves full of matching frames.

He especially didn’t regret it when they got to your room, where you proudly stood next to a wall of printed out photos of your friends. Tenya’s eyes drifted to a shot of you and him at the fair, both of you holding ice cream cones.

“Pictures taken moments before disaster,” You remarked, following his eyes and tapping the wall next to the photo cheekily. He smiled, remembering how mere seconds after taking the picture, you had tripped over his foot and fallen flat on your face, taking out not only yourself and your ice cream, but Tenya’s as well.

Ask them, he urged himself as the class headed back to the ground floor. The question never seemed to escape him, though. In fact, when he rushed back inside after he, Midoriya, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki, and Kirishima had been pulled outside by Tsu and Uraraka, you had already gone up to bed.

That’s it. 

Tenya was a man of thought and intellect, not one of action. When the job called for it, he of course sprung to do his part, but not before carefully assessing the situation and weighing his options. So he surprised himself by going up to your room without a second thought, determined to get whatever it was you had hinted at out of you.

“Woah, didn’t I just see you?” You smiled coyly as you answered the door. “What’s up?”

“I wanted-” Tenya paused, eyes narrowing. “Wait, you still have my glasses.”

“Astutely observed.” You sighed, reluctantly handing them over. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. I wanted to see how many days I could wear them before you realized they were yours.”

“You might’ve gotten away with it, if not for me being here now.” Tenya admitted, pocketing the spectacles. “I didn’t realize before.”

“So that’s not why you’re here?”

“No, during the training camp you said you wanted to tell me something, but that you wanted to wait until the… situation was over.”

You made a face. “I was hoping you had forgotten about that.”

“Why? Is it bad?” He asked nervously.

“No, just… weird. I only told you because I was scared we wouldn’t make it out of there alive, but now I’m regretting it.” You sighed. “Come on in, I may as well tell you.”

Tenya closed the door behind him, watching cautiously as you sat on your bed with a huff. “If you really don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”

You considered for a moment. “How long have you been holding onto this?”

He blinked in surprise. “A few hours. I only remembered this afternoon.” 

“A few hours is all you need to get worked up about something. There’s no sense in me not telling you now,” You rubbed your eyes, looking both physically and mentally exhausted “especially if I promised you that I would.”

“Alright then, if you’re sure.” Tenya hesitantly sat himself next to you, now wishing he hadn’t bothered at all.

“Okay, so, uh, we’ve been friends for a while, and I’m really happy for that.” You started, rubbing your hands together thoughtfully. “And I don’t want to put that friendship in jeopardy, but recently my feelings towards you have changed, and I feel like you deserve to know.”

“Have they now?” Tenya’s heart pounded so loudly he worried you could hear it. He wondered if your feelings were anything like his.

“Yeah, they’ve gotten a little more… romantic.” You sighed heavily once again, seeming to resign yourself to your fate. “Okay, I’m gonna just say it: I really like you Tenya. More than as a friend. You’re stubborn, adorable, and always know just what to say, and every time I see you I just wanna kiss your stupid face all over and tell you that you deserve the whole damn world, because guess what? You do!”

Time seemed to tick to a stop. Tenya himself froze, his body stiff and his tongue limp in is mouth. Then his face exploded in color, and all at once, he gained control over his body again. His arm gestured frantically in his regular tic, and his words seemed to trip over each other in an effort to be heard.

“W-w-well thank you for your kind words! I greatly appreciate you telling me this. I have also recently c-come to the conclusion that I, uh, e-enjoy your company more than a friend should as well! I-I’m not sure what this means for us moving forward, b-but-“

You wrapped your fingers around the hand chopping the air wildly. You pressed your lips to his cheek, and rubbed your free hand up and down his arm in a soothing motion. You laughed lightly, but there was no mockery in it. “Thank you, Tenya.” You whispered. 

The boy stiffened once more, before naturally relaxing, leaning into your touch. He mirrored your soft, loving smile, placing his hand not being held by you on your knee gently. “Of course, (Y/N)."

#mha #bnha #iida #tenya #tenya iida #iida x reader #tenya iida x reader #tenya x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader

[chanelsebbie]

𝗩𝗶𝗰𝗲 | 𝘀.𝗿.

✝ Warnings: SMUT, manipulation, dub-con, innocent!reader, age-gap, dark!bishop!steve rogers, branding. 

✝ Masterlist

✝ Summary: After being caught committing lustful acts, y/n is brought to the bishop for reconcile. 

✝ A/n:  Reader just turned 18, this is sinful, if you are offended, please don’t read. With that being said, after reading this, you best chug a gallon of holy water. 

𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖉 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖌 𝖌𝖔𝖉

𝕭𝖎𝖌 𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖙𝖔 𝖋𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖚𝖕

Florence + the Machine, Big God

“No! Let me go!” the girl with a small voice ordered futily, the sound echoing off the large corridors as the nuns pulling her along payed no mind. 

She fought against them, but it was useless, for it would only make their conviction worse. She had sinned, and like everything, sinning came with a grave price. Especially at the young woman’s academy. 

She knew the bishop would be cross. Not only for her sin but for the timing. It was in the late hours of the night, but there she was, caught red-handed and in nothing but a snow-white bra and panty set, being dragged through the empty halls of the institution, everyone else sleeping. 

Soon enough, she was faced with the large wooden double-doors of the bishop’s office, the lion knocker on the door seeming to snarl smugly at the girl as if it knew her fate. 

One of the nun’s calloused old fingers wrapped around the handle clutched in the metal feline’s mouth, before knocking three times, the young girl counting absentmindedly. 

A harsh and inharmonious voice called out an ill-toned ‘Come in’. The girl could have sworn she was on the verge of a panic attack. What she had done was wrong, but why did it feel so good?

The door was opened by one of her captors, walking her in before throwing her to the ground, her knees scraping up against the stone floors as she let out a pained yelp. She refused to look up, knowing that his eyes would be trained on her. 

“Archbishop Rogers,” one of the nun’s began, “We caught this young lady committing an act of lust, and demand her to repent and save her faith plagued with desire.”

The man stood up from his working desk, setting his pen down, stepping in front of the trembling girl, almost anticipating her to look up at him. 

“Leave us, sisters,” 

His voice sent a tight shock through her spine, making her scramble to her knees, her ass resting on her heels, folding her hands in front of her, waiting as if she were about to be struck. 

As soon as the great wooden doors closed, the bishop took a deep breath and began to speak. 

“Tell me,” he starts, “what is your vice?”

She quivered at the question, embarrassed to admit what she had truly did wrong. But in knowing that the longer it took to get it out of her, the more torturous the punishment would be.

“I-” she cleared her throat, “I h-have committed a lustful act,” she swallowed hard as she heard the man above her sigh, beckoning her to continue, “I feel as if I’ve been consumed by demons. The devil has put thoughts into my head... scandalous thoughts... and it creates such a tension between my legs,” she took in a shaky breath, “I can’t help but touch myself to relieve the pain.”

His jaw clenched at her confession, crossing his arms. 

“Do you understand the gravity of your actions?” he catechized her, making her nod her head ‘yes’.

“Yes, Archbishop Rogers, I do.” she now had the courage to look up at the man above her, “I am willing to do whatever it takes to be right by the Lord’s name,”

His crossed arms unraveled, one of his hands going down to cradle the girl’s cheek as she leaned into his touch like an obedient dog, desperate for the relief and to bear no malice to her God. 

When she looked up at him with her doe-like eyes, full of hope, there was a glint of guilt. 

“First, recite ‘Hail Mary’,” he commanded, her head now hanging low again, not noticing that his hands were now reaching his pants, the leather of his belt coming undone. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace,” she began, “The lord is with thee-”

Her face was suddenly jerked up, his hand wrapping around her head before pushing her forward, her open mouth suddenly filled with the mass of his cock, only half of her mouth consuming it. 

Her tongue squirmed as she tried to pull away, but the archbishop’s strength was unparalleled to hers, her struggles futile. Her hands went to his thighs to anchor herself. 

“A demon had infiltrated your mind, my child,” he grunted, “I know how to rid you of this evil, but you must do as I say.”

She did the best she could to nod her head, before getting pulled back by her hair. 

“Did I tell you to stop reciting?” he growled, “Don’t make me start you over,”

“Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit-” she was pulled forward violently back on his cock, deeper his time, his tip touching the back of her throat as she gagged, tears welling up in her eyes, doing her best not to bite down. 

She was pulled back once again, “of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary-”

Tears were now spilling down her face like a river, her face flushed as his cock seemingly went down her throat, the groans of her superior above her making her whimper. 

“Mother of God, pray for us sinners now,”

He didn’t pull her in this time like she was expecting, “and at the hour of our death.” she finished, panting as she winced at the archbishop’s killer grip on her hair, “Amen.”

“Remarkable job,” he praised, before standing her up, taking her hand and leading her to his desk, before harshly pushing her down against it, smirking at her gasping reaction. 

“P-Please? Haven’t we done enough?” she questioned, pleaded, earning her a slap on her ass, getting pulled up chest to back with him as his lips reached her ear. 

“I am a vessel of God,” he hissed, “And he lives through me as I do him. I’m cleansing you...,”

His fingers made their way under the hem of her underwear, pulling them down, her dripping cunt coming into view, the archbishop squatting down after pushing her back on the desk. She whimpered at the feeling of his breath against her sex, Rogers letting out a dark chuckle before leaning forward, licking a torturous strip across her slit. 

“God, you taste so good,” he groaned against her pussy, “why the fuck do you taste so good?” his rhetorical question made her clench. 

She let out a soft moan at the sexual touch that was for once, not her own. He did this several more times before he stood straight back up again. 

She whined when she felt his wide tip tease her entrance, circling his cock, the anticipation almost painful, his breathing echoing off the expanse of his large office. The moonlight shown through the stained glass windows, reflecting on the expanse of her back, making the archbishop all the more attracted to her seemingly supernatural glow. 

“Plea-” she was cut off by a loud moan ripping its way through her throat, the feeling of being stretched out so far painful.

“Fuck! Fuck, you’re so tight-” he cursed into the open air, his hands latching onto her hips when he bottomed out. 

He didn’t grace her with the opportunity to adjust, before he started to move, slowly, making her feel every ridge and vein. 

“You better start praying,” he coaxed, her head nodding.

“O-Our father, who art in h-heaven, gl-glory be thy name,” she whined out, making the man behind her rut his hips harder and harder with each verse, “hallowed be th-thy name. Thy kingdom c-come,” she paused to catch her breath, earning her a harsh tug on her scalp.

“Didn’t tell you to stop,” he growled, bushing harder and faster inside her. 

“thy will be done, on earth, as it is in h-heaven, g-give us this day our da-ily bread and... and...,” her brain was fogged with pleasure as he was getting pounded into, Rogers annoyed at her reluctance. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” he degraded, “don’t make me start you over,” his pace slowing down. 

She whined before starting again, “forgive us our tr-trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against u-us-”

She clenched around him, making him let out a genuine moan, and it was the most angelic sound she had ever heard, a coil tightening inside her as she cursed silently. 

“Come on, princess, we can finish it together,” he offered. 

“P-Please,” she gasped, gagging on air as she did her best to keep a level head and know what she was supposed to say next. 

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” they said in perfect sync. 

“Come on, so close, just-” before he could finish, he released inside of her with a yell, his head thrown back in ecstasy.

The warm feeling in her gut made the coil inside her snap as well as she fell off the deep end, long and passionate moans leaving her lips as she trembled and tensed from such an earth-shattering orgasm. 

The archbishop walked in front of the lit fireplace, poking at it with a fire poker before setting it down, the pointy end positioned over the fire. 

The girl thought nothing of it as she sat in an armchair, covered in nothing but a blanket as she gave a dopey smile to the nude man approaching her. He picked her up, before sitting himself down, placing her in his lap. 

Her head rested against his chest as he gently played with her hair. 

“Am I cleansed?” she questioned, nudging herself closer into him. 

After a small amount of time, he gave a quick, lack-luster response. 

“Yes.”

“What happens if the demons come back? If my thoughts turn sinful again?” she whimpered at the thought. 

“Well, I have a way I can make sure they don’t.” he smirked to himself, “Stand up, will you?”

She did as she was told; his perfect little obedient pet. Before she could question anything, she was grabbed by the wrists and slammed up above her head, her back against the wall next to the fire place, Steve reaching over and grabbing the bow heated fire poker.

It clicked for her as her eyes widened.

“W-Wait!” she squeaked, looking at the red-hot end of the fire poker, his fingers wrapped around it tightly. 

When the scalding metal touched the skin of her breast, she let out a pained cry, a sickening sizzle ringing through her ears as she sobbed. The burning touch seemed to last for ages, before it was finally brought away, but the pain never ceased. 

The shape made her stomach turn, the man pulling the girl in an embrace as she sobbed, shushing her.

There, over her right breast, was the mark of the lord. A blistering cross, that would be an eternal reminder of their shared moment together.

“In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit,” Steve spoke, right before her world went black from shock.

#steve x reader #steve rogers #steve rodgers #steve rodgers x reader #captain america #chris evans smut #priest!steve #dark!chris evans #dark!steve smut #dark!steve rogers

[calpalirwin]

Happiness in Misery

Summary: Amidst the torture that is the Winter Soldier program, Bucky finds solace in another recruit’s company.

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: Everybody say thank you to @jessalyn-jpeg​ for beta-reading/crying over this with me

And away, and away we go!

__

A light clunked on loudly overhead, so bright I had to squint in order to see anything at all. “New recruits to train. C’mon,” was the gruff instruction, followed by the sound of metal clicking and the door of my cell swinging open. “Now!”

Silently I followed the guard through the corridors, knowing better than to ask any questions. Instead I wondered what type of recruits they had gathered this time. And whether or not any of them would survive the process. Useless wondering as I already knew the answer. The recruits were going to be a ragtag round up of hopeful prospects: people who put up a fight when being captured. And they might pass today’s training, but the serum would kill roughly half. And the others would die eventually when they proved to be noncompliant and dangerous. Leaving me to train a new batch of recruits, and the cycle would spin on. Exhausting work, but my compliance meant I lived another day. And I’d survived too much to die in captivity.

The large gymnasium training area had about twenty hopefuls lined up along the back wall, guards scattered strategically throughout the room. But it wasn’t the guards I gave my attention to. Some of the recruitments had more fear in their eyes, some with more fire, but all with the identical cold expression. All but one. A young woman at the end of the line had her lips pulled back in a snarl. The fire in her eyes burned brightly as we locked stares, a low rumble in her throat. Her stature felt too small to bear the weight of such intimidation she was projecting, but I liked it all the same. She reminded me of someone I felt I had known before: a small man with an unwillingness to give up. The details were blurry, and I wasn’t sure if the memory was even real. But it gave me hope nonetheless. Hope that almost caused me to smile at her.

I took up my mark in the middle of the room, standing at attention, waiting for the order to be given. Twenty versus one? This would be a breeze.

A whistle blew, but nobody moved, the twenty people looking around in confusion. “Fight!” came the verbal order.

With hesitance, a few people walked my way, fists raised. Punches thrown half-heartedly were easily blocked as I stayed on the defensive. Only defend until they get the serum. You can take the blows, they can’t, and if you accidentally kill another potential… I suppressed the shiver, refusing to let myself go down that path.

Punches and kicks came with less hesitance. Stronger as the expectation of what to do settled in their minds. Grunts of effort filled the room, along with the occasional scream of agony as a fist collided with metal instead of flesh.

I blocked, ducked, and dodged, receiving a couple of well-placed hits, but I stayed on my feet, my body barely moving from my original mark.

Five minutes ticked by, then ten, each prolonged minute resulting in more recruits sitting down in exhaustion. As fifteen minutes neared, three people were still trying to fight me. But they were getting wiser about it. They started working as a team.

Two of them advanced. The distraction. I defended the advances, scanning around for the third, knowing they were coming but unable to locate them as the other two kept giving me their all. Then, something, or rather someone, came crashing full force into my side, my feet squeaking against the wooden floor at the unexpected hit.

I thought that was it. The one sneak attack just outside of my peripheral. But no. Again, the body slammed into me, the ear-piercing squeak from my boots sliding on the wood emitting around the room again. Then a third attempt that finally knocked me unsteady.

My hand flew out to break my fall, but the body came at me again, full on tackling me to the ground. And because flinging them off, even in defense, would result in trouble for me, I had no choice but to let it happen.

My back hit the ground, the person landing on top of my chest. With a yell, they started hailing punches down on me, their knees driving into my sides. I raised my arms over my face, and tucked my legs, rolling out from under them.

They fell off of me in a huff, and I knew they weren’t ready to give up. Unfortunately for them, I was the quicker one to my feet. Gently, I pressed one of my boots on their chest, getting a good look at the opponent who’d managed to do what many have failed to do. The young woman, her snarl still in place, the growl still in her throat.

She gripped my ankle, trying to push my foot off her. When that didn’t work, she switched to hitting my foot as hard as she could, yelling all the while.

In a simple, but swift motion, I lifted my foot off of her, then pulled her up by the front of her shirt, setting her on her feet. I flickered my gaze over to a guard who nodded, before blowing a whistle.

Knowing they didn’t care for, need, or want my input, I turned to head back to my cell, certain I would see the young woman again very soon.

~~~

“Do you talk at all?” a voice asked me as a tray slammed down across the table from me.

I raised my eyebrows in silent question as the young woman from earlier sat down across from me, fork poised over her dinner as she studied me. Waiting for an answer I never gave.

Each of us took a bite of food, chewing while we studied the other. “Well?” she asked with an impatient eye roll. “Do you not speak English? Hello?” She waved a hand in front of my face. “Earth to Robot Arm. Anyone home?”

“It’s James,” I stated, flatly.

Her eyes flashed in delight. “He speaks!” she marveled. “So… what’s the deal with this place?”

“That’s confidential. You’ll learn on a need to know basis. If you’re lucky.”

“If I’m lucky? Uh-oh. Don’t like the sound of that…”

“Just do as you’re told.”

“Mmm… Is that what you were doing earlier by not fighting back? Doing as you were told?”

“You don’t want to fight me.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“Yes, I do. You want to survive. And I’m telling you the best way to do that is to follow orders, and keep your mouth shut!” My words were harsh, but I needed her to understand. And I feared I’d already said more than I was ever supposed to.

~~~

The screams of those deemed worthy of moving on to Phase Two sounded through the halls the next morning. Tortured screams of agony as the serum changed them on a molecular level, setting every nerve ending on fire. Panicked screams as it took with some, and wiped out others, no one sure of which category they fell into until it was too late. The burning was otherworldly, but from experience, you wanted the burn. The burn meant you were alive. A test of survival in the cruelest of manners.

The screams lasted all day. The cafeteria held faces covered in haunted exhaustion or sheer terror of the fate that still awaited some. In their faces, I scanned for hers, feeling my heart drop when I couldn’t find her.

“You could have warned me,” her voice said, heavy with exhaustion as she joined me across the table.

I let out my breath in a sigh of relief. “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better than them, that’s for sure,” she said, raising a finger to gesture at the screams still echoing throughout the compound.

I nodded, keeping my thought of how she looked better too to myself. She now had a fighter’s body to match her fighter’s spirit, no longer the fragile thing she’d been yesterday.

“You don’t say a lot do you, James?”

“No.”

“Woooow,” she deadpanned.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not sure what your deal is, but I’m not the person you want to make friends with. In fact, I’m about to become your worst nightmare.”

She waved her hands sarcastically. “Oooo, I’m so scared, James. What makes you think I want to be friends with someone who hasn’t even asked me my name yet anyways?”

“It’s not important.”

“Riddle me this. How is it important for you to go out of your way to look for me, and be relieved that I seem to be okay, but that importance doesn’t cross over into knowing my name?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but she cut me off.

“And don’t bother with some line about how you weren’t looking for me, or care if I’m okay, because we both know that’s a lie. We don’t know each other all that well, but I know damn well that you aren’t asking the others if they’re okay, or looking around worriedly for them. So what gives, James?”

“I care because you’re proving you have what it takes to survive. But learning your name, or anything about you for that matter, is a useless waste of time because unless you listen to what I told you about following orders and keeping your mouth shut, you won’t survive.”

“And why do you care if I survive, or not?”

“Because you remind me of something I think I used to know.”

“Did that person survive? Or am I your sick attempt at a second chance?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if he was real, or if I made him up.”

“Damn, that’s dark…”

I shrugged. “Just try not to hate me too much when I get my revenge for you knocking me on my ass the other day.”

Her eyes sparkled playfully. “Oh really? You gonna fight back this time?”

“I’m allowed to now.”

~~~

It took a few days for her to learn what I meant. Phase Three happened at a slower pace. Instead of a group fight where I couldn’t do much besides play defensive, Phase Three meant individual hand-to-hand combat. And I wasn’t allowed to hold back.

For them to run their proper tests, and to make sure I was always in top form, Phase Three was spread out over a week, with a fight occurring once a day. But, I knew well enough now that if Phase Three was only a week, it meant that only seven had survived the serum of Phase Two.

I fought her on day four.

Much like the first day, she had a snarl on her lips and fire in her eyes. And she wasted no time in figuring out her newfound strength as she attacked.

Her blows landed harder and with more accuracy as I blocked, waiting for the break I knew was coming to launch my own offensive against her.

My first swing connected with her stomach, and when she hunched, I hit her in the jaw, taking a small pleasure in the way her eyes widened in surprise.

Back and forth we went in a choreographed dance of exchanging hits, the serum putting her on an even playing field with me. And while I had more training, she still had that unwillingness to quit, making us more even-matched than most recruits I’d fought with.

With no one yielding, the guards ordered us apart after a half hour, both of us bloody and bruised, but still with more than enough energy and sheer willpower to keep going.

“If it wasn’t for your fancy arm, I would’ve had you,” she tried to joke later at dinner.

“No you wouldn’t have,” I smirked. “You’re gonna need a lot more training to take me down.”

“I’ve done it once, I can do it again.”

“It took you four tries, and two other people distracting me. And I wasn’t allowed to fight back,” I reminded her. “So keep gloating over that victory, cuz it’s the only one you’re gonna get with me.”

“That’s what you think. But, I think it’s time you learned the name of the girl who’s gonna take you down.”

My eyes went wide. “No, don’t!” I rushed to stop her.

“Y/N,” she said anyway.

“God damn you…”

“Oh, relax. I know your name. What’s the big deal?”

“If you have to ask, then you haven’t been paying attention.”

~~~

Names, along with any personal details, meant attachments. Attachments meant caring. And caring meant getting hurt. And as much as being alone sucked, getting hurt sucked a lot more. Physical pain I was growing accustomed to. But emotional pain? A risk I avoided at all costs.

Thankfully, stubborn streak aside, Y/N appeared to take my advice to heart. When the remaining six of her recruitment class started dropping, I knew she had her suspicions that she wanted to talk with me about. But she didn’t voice them until the evening she walked into the cafeteria and it was just her and me.

“What the hell is this place, James?” she asked me in a whisper. “And I swear if you tell me that’s confidential information, I will bash your head into the table until I see brain matter.”

I snorted at her threat as I glanced around. “The name changes depending on who you ask. The Super Soldier Project. The Winter Soldier Program. The Americans called it Operation Rebirth.”

“Operation Rebirth? That’s what made that Captain America guy. Are you saying we’re him?”

“Yes, and no. America had their version. And Hydra has theirs.”

“Who’s Hydra?”

“We are.”

“And the serum?”

“Made you a super soldier. And Hydra’s going to either make you the perfect obedient soldier. Or they’ll get rid of you.”

“Is that what happened to everyone else? They got…” She slid her thumb across her throat.

I nodded. “If the serum doesn’t kill you, Hydra will.”

“Hasn’t killed you,” she pointed out.

“That’s because I play by their rules.”

“So that’s why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you don’t talk much. And why you’re short with me when you do. It’s a defense mechanism. A useful one, but a defense mechanism all the same.”

“Congratulations, you cracked the code,” I deadpanned, before reaching for the cookie on my tray and handing it to her, “Wanna cookie for being so smart?”

“How about you teach me how to become one of the survivors like you instead?” she asked, taking the small dessert from me anyway.

~~~

Although missions and training were tense under Hydra’s zero tolerance for error expectations, having Y/N around almost made it bearable. Something about misery loving company.

Under Hydra’s eye we became the perfect unit. The compliant assassins. And after the exceptionally tough days, it was nice to have someone to seek comfort in. Gentle reassurances that we’d survive after nightmares plagued our sleep, or after we helped bandage up each other’s wounds in the infirmary after a mission mishap.

Knowing that we weren’t alone in our hellish existence was enough to keep us from going completely mad.

Right up until a mission went wrong. Or maybe it went right.

Y/N was fighting with a red-haired woman, my own focus fully locked on the blonde man with the shield that he kept trying to hurl at my face. A wild swing sent my mask scattering to the ground and when I locked gazes with the man, he paused. Confusion and concern replaced the fighting exertion previously painted on his face. His eyebrows furrowed together. “Bucky?” he asked slowly.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” I asked in equal confusion. Memories of a blonde man similar to the one in front of me flashed through my head in a rapid succession. Memories I never knew were real or not. But as I stared at the man and he continued to stare at me, part of me wondered if maybe the memories were real. More than that, I wanted them to be real. Or at least, I think I wanted them to be real.

An explosion went off, and someone was tugging me forcefully away as the man ducked for cover. “James!” Y/N hissed in my ear as we made a break for it. “What the hell was that?!”

“I- I don’t know,” I told her. “I-I think I know him. Knew him.”

“Well you better forget real fast,” she said, her voice a low warning.

“I know…” I replied, internally wincing at what I knew was coming for having hesitation during a mission.

~~~

I wasn’t sure which was worse. My own painful interrogation session, or listening to hers across the hall, her screams of “No! I don’t know anything! I swear!” filled with more terror than I ever knew a scream could hold.

Leave her alone! I wanted to scream at them. She’s telling the truth! It’s me! It’s my fault! But all I could do was answer their questions as vaguely as I could. I don’t know how the man recognized me. I don’t know if I know him. I was just following orders, I don’t know what happened, but it won’t happen again. I won’t hesitate, they could trust me.

And then try not to scream so loudly myself as electricity shot throughout my body.

~~~

Her face bore the same scratch marks as mine, her eyes holding the same skittish fear, body flinching at every excessively loud sound. My fingers itched to reach out to her. To have the pads of my thumbs soothe the ache in the abrasions, and catch the tears threatening to spill down her face. To allow us each, for even the briefest moment, the chance at vulnerability and weakness. But I swallowed thickly, and with it the urge, forcing my face to remain blank and void. Not in here, James, not in here.

“James…” her voice croaked across the table at me, her eyes even struggling to meet mine.

Quickly I pressed a finger to my lips, scanning around the cafeteria. “Shh. Not here.”

“Hurts, James.”

“I know.”

“Worse than training.”

“I know.”

We ate what we could stomach before slinking off to the barracks. Now that the serum was proving to be working more often than not, we’d gotten a small upgrade. No longer trapped in a cell by myself, I now had an entire barrack to myself. Technically there was a no fraternization rule, but it mostly applied to the new recruits that continued to come in droves, leaving Y/N and I with the closest thing to real privacy we could get in a place like this.

“They didn’t believe me,” she said, taking a seat on one of the bunks. “They know how close you and I are, so they think I knew the man too.”

“I’m sorry…” I said, the bunk creaking as I sat next to her.

“Why did that man think he knew you? And why did he call you Bucky?”

“Do you remember back when we met I said that you reminded me of someone I think I used to know?” I asked in lieu of answering.

“Was that him?”

“I think so… I- Everything about my past life before Hydra is a messy blur. That’s part of the training. Making you forget. Making you unsure of what little you do remember. But if he knew me, then that means that those memories I have are real. And if he’s still around…” I didn’t dare finish my thought. Didn’t dare let myself go down the path of hoping that I could turn the clock backwards. Get my life back. It was useless because I knew better than by now to think there was any chance of getting out of Hydra alive. And it was utterly selfish as I locked gazes with Y/N and she nodded sadly in understanding what I left unsaid.

“If he’s from your past, and he’s still around, that means you have hope,” she voiced it anyway.

“Yeah…”

“Take your chance, James.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? If you have a chance to get your life back, why not take it?”

“Because.”

“Because why?!” she snapped, angry that I appeared to be stupid enough to not risk everything to get the hell out of here.

“Because they’ll kill you! They’ll think you had a hand in it, and they’ll kill you for it! And I’ve worked too damn hard to keep you alive, so you’re not dying because of me, understand?!” matching her anger at her not understanding that I couldn’t leave her behind. That I didn’t want to leave her behind.

“Coward,” she spat in my face.

I rose to my feet, towering over her. “Coward?! I’m the reason you’re still alive, but I’m the coward for wanting to keep you that way?!”

“Yes!” she shouted, glaring up at me as she stabbed a finger into my chest. “You trained me. Not them. So do it! Take your chance! And let them try to kill me. But something tells me that they won’t want to do that.”

“Oh, and why’s that?”

“Because I’m stronger than them for one. And for two, it would be a stupid waste for them to lose not one, but two super soldiers.”

“That’s a stupid gamble.”

“Take your chance, James, and we’re both free.”

“Both of us can’t get free at the same time.”

“I know. So just come back for me, okay? Take your chance. Then come back. Be my hope, like this man is yours. And we can handle whatever comes after that.”

She spoke with such certainty that I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that getting out would be worth whatever potential consequences would surely follow. I wanted hope. And what really were the consequences? We both already knew what Hydra was capable of. We already lived in a situation that was worse than death. A life lived constantly on edge, wary of every move we made. So maybe it really wasn’t that stupid of a gamble after all. “Okay,” I promised. “Okay.”

~~~

It turned out that getting free meant a lot of isolation, which I was already used to, so it wasn’t that much of an adjustment. Well, isolation within reason I should say. I had to stay low, off the radar. But I wasn’t alone. I had the blonde man. Steve. His name was Steve. And we’d been close friends before. And he helped me make sense of the muddled memories of my past, like slowly putting together a puzzle where all the pieces were one color, impossible to differentiate one from the other. And he had his friends, the Avengers they called themselves. And they helped me too where they could, breaking down the mental blocks Hydra had instilled in me.

But the fear lingered. Not so much that Hydra would eliminate me once they found me. If they found me. But fear for Y/N. Fear for what she had to suffer through for the cost of my freedom. Fear that I wouldn’t be able to hold up my end of the promise of being her hope of getting out. A fear that ate away at me every day I was cooped up in the Avengers headquarters.

And then, one morning a newspaper was slammed down in front of me. “What is this?” Steve asked, his tone somehow both demanding and soft.

I looked down at the article. A headline about a recent attack on the UN. A grainy black and white photo of the building in flames, and a blurred image of a person slinking away amongst the chaos. But even though the person was blurred, I could make out what they were wearing because I’d worn it myself for so many years. 

For a moment, panic made my chest tighten. Had I? No… I couldn’t have… Could I? No. No, it had to be her. There was no way it could have been me.

“Buck,” Steve prompted, his arms crossed as he waited for an answer.

“I- I don’t know. I didn’t do it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, I know you didn’t do it. But word on the street is that it's related to Hydra.”

“Okay,” I said, not sure what kind of answer he was looking for.

He sighed. “There’s only so much we know about Hydra. But you…”

There it was. The reason he was bringing this to my attention. Not to accuse me. But so that I would provide the much needed intel as the resident Hydra expert. Unfortunately, I didn’t have an answer he was going to like. “They never told us anything. They gave us the target, and we carried out the mission. Ready to comply…” I clicked my tongue in my cheek with disdain, shuddering at the bad taste that the last three words left in my mouth.

He pointed a finger at the blurred person. “But do you know how many others like you are out there? How many are under Hydra’s control?”

“Just me and her. They keep trying to make more. Waves and waves of people. But nobody lasts long. They kept me out of necessity. They kept her because I trained her to be a necessity as well.”

“So bringing her down is…”

“Not an option unless you involve me.”

“But if we get her, we get Hydra.”

“Yes. But trust me, you can’t get her without me. She won’t let you, for one thing. And for another, I won’t let you.” Unless I was the one standing in front of her, she’d kill anyone in her path because that’s what she'd been trained to do. It’s what kept her useful to them. And hell, even if it was me standing in front of me only guaranteed that I’d be on the receiving end of her skills. But I had the advantage of knowing her moves before she made them. After all, they were my moves.

“No,” he shook his head. “No. You tell us everything we need to know about how to bring her in, but you’re not on this mission, Buck. We’re not risking having you near Hydra.”

“Then you don’t have a mission.”

“This isn’t the time for threats, Buck. This is serious.”

“I’m not threatening you. I’m telling you the facts. If I am not on that mission with you, she will treat you like a target for her own protection against Hydra. And you do not want to be a target. Bring me on the mission. We get her. We take down Hydra. It’s that simple.”

He sighed, his face contorting in deep concern and worry. “It’s a huge risk… you being near Hydra.”

“It is,” I agreed. No point in disputing the obvious. “But here’s the thing. Hydra taught me how to do a lot of things undetected.”

He sighed again. “I’m not sure how well I like this plan. But I’m gonna trust you on this. We all are.”

~~~

“If you find her, tell me,” I directed with authority. “Nobody engages with her, but me. Understood?”

There were nods and murmurs of agreement. The memory of fighting me was still fresh in their minds, none of them were overly eager to engage with another super soldier of my caliber again if they didn’t have to. And Y/N wouldn’t hesitate like I had. I’d be lucky if she pulled her punches, but I wasn’t counting on it. She didn’t know we were coming. And she couldn’t give Hydra the slightest inkling that she was pulling a fast one on them once I located her. It was a delicate balance of using the skills Hydra had drilled into me against them.

Perhaps lucky for all of us, they didn’t really know what or who to look for, whereas I did.

I noticed the shadow well before anyone else, slinking away to catch her off guard. I crept quietly up behind her, and as I reached out to grab her, she whirled around, a knife burying into my side. I hissed through my teeth, not having expected that at all, and pulled the blade free, letting it clatter to the ground as we locked gazes, her eyes wide as she took me in.

I nodded in answer at the question she didn’t dare ask, pressing a finger to my lips.

Her eyes flickered to the small bloom of blood that was darkening my shirt, and when she raised her eyes again to meet mine, I thought she might look apologetic. But all she did was smile sinisterly at me.

Alright, game on, I thought. “Initiate plan,” I spoke into my earpiece, as I dodged the punch she delivered my way.

The plan was a diversion so Y/N could disappear with me under Hydra’s radar, preferably before we had to actually hurt the other, current knife wound aside.

It was like deja vu of our first meeting, her attacking and me playing defense. The only difference this time was that when her blows did land, the hit was rather painful, especially when she targeted her hits to my weakened side.

I took it all in stride, blocking and dodging the best I could against her as I waited for the diversion I knew was coming.

When the building went pitch black, I struck out, knocking her own comm system out of her ear and stomping on it forcefully, listening to the crunch of it under my boot. “Move!” I barked, grabbing her arm.

I dragged her along for a few steps before she found her footing, her stride matching mine quickly as we made our escape. I knew she wanted to say something, but I shook my head sharply. There were still risks that Hydra was listening somehow, even if I’d broken the main way of connection to her.

Through a tangled maze of hallways, I navigated our way through the dark to the getaway car, the van doors pulling open welcoming us. I shoved her in ahead of me, sparing a glance behind before I jumped in after her.

Aside from the sound of us catching our breath, the van was silent as the driver peeled out, and headed back to headquarters.

Then, as reality settled in that the mission had gone off exactly as planned, Y/N threw herself across the bench seat, crashing into me.

“Ow…” I wheezed, as she held me in a vice grip hug.

She immediately let go, sliding across the seat away from me. “James…” she said, her voice a tremble of a whisper.

I nodded, opening my arms for her to fall back into. “It’s over,” I soothed, relishing in the feeling of holding her against me. “It’s all over. We’re safe.”

“Oh, James,” she wept, her fingers softly grazing over my injured side.

“Shh, don’t worry about that. It’s over. We’re safe. I’ve got you.”

~~~

I wish I could say that getting Y/N out of Hydra meant that all our problems went away. But that wasn’t the case. Because what came with the fallout of bringing down Hydra was having to figure out what to do with not one, but two super assassins with a crime record a mile wide. Words of “pardons” and “life-sentences” were thrown around. There was also the concern that even though Hydra had been brought down, that they could resurface in the future, and would go to any length to recapture what they had lost. And they could do it too. They caught me twice before, and her once. How hard could it be to do it again?

It was very much the conundrum of winning the battle while the larger war still raged on. And when they started the circle of fighting over options for the millionth time in an hour, I snapped.

My hands slammed down on the table in the conference room, startling everyone. “Shut up!” I hissed. “Shut up with your pardons, or ideas of serving time! Shut up with your Hydra worries! Just shut up!”

“Buck-” Steve started.

“No!” I thundered, rising to my feet. “The only people who can protect me and Y/N, are me and Y/N! We know what it takes to survive Hydra! So just… Don’t worry about her and me. I got it covered.”

“Buck-” Steve tried again.

“No,” I shook my head. “Look, I’m grateful for all the help. But we’re not a problem you guys need to solve.”

“Well,” Tony cleared his throat matter-of-factly. “Most of us live in the facility here. Accommodations. Easy to track each other down when we need to. Security.”

I smiled wryly at the man. He was as egotistical as his father had been, but he was a man of action over words, and wasn’t big on emotions, which was something I could both respect and relate to. No sense in being sentimental about things that didn’t require sentiment. Words of thanks were on my tongue, when a scream echoed through the building.

While they all looked around at each other with more startled expressions, wondering who had screamed and from where, I took off at a run.

I burst into the room she was in, finding her curled up as tight as she could be, eyes frantic as she cowered in the corner of the room. “Y/N…” I said softly, feeling my heart crack in my chest. Electricity shooting through my body was less painful than seeing her scared, because I knew how hard she always fought to not let that part of her show. As much as I liked to think she’d survived everything because I’d been there to ensure it, that was only half of the truth. She’d set the world on fire before daring to admit that she was scared. And this now made it the third time I’d seen her this terrified, and all I wanted was to set the world on fire for her. Make everyone pay for any ounce of hurt she’d ever endured.

“James?” A broken sob of uncertainty.

I nodded, taking a slow step forward. “It’s me. I’m here.”

“Where are we?”

“With the Avengers.”

“No more Hydra?”

“No more Hydra.”

Her lower lip trembled, a rogue tear sliding down her face. “You came back?”

I smiled, taking quicker and longer strides now across the room, closing the distance between us. Always too much distance. “I promised you I would,” I said, sitting down next to her.

“You don’t know how hard it was without you… What they did when they realized you were gone…” Her breathing sped up as the tears spilled faster.

“Shh,” I soothed, pulling her into my arms, much like I had in the drive over here. “Nobody’s ever gonna hurt us again, okay? I’ll keep you safe. Always. We’ll be okay. I’ve got you.”

We sat like that for a while, me rubbing at her back as she calmed down and slowly relaxed her body against mine. And then I felt laughter bubbling up in my chest, and before I could stop it, both of our bodies started shaking with the force of my laughter. “What are you laughing about?” she asked with her own giggle.

“I just-” I wheezed, fighting to get the words out as I tried to stop laughing. “It’s just…” I took a large intake of breath to steady myself. “Oh, man… Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to be able to do this?” I asked, meaning me holding her, but I didn’t wait for an answer, the words spilling from my lips. “I- I was alone for so long. I got used to not caring about people, and not being cared about. Used to turning off that emotional part of me. But every time I tried to push you away, you pushed back even harder. And… God… you ruined me. You absolutely ruined me.”

“You don’t sound that angry about it,” she said, her fingers resting gently against my chest that heaved with each half chuckle of breath I took.

“I’m not. You’re the first person I cared about after Steve. You were the only person I cared about when I was the worst version of myself. And I- The lengths I would go through to make sure you’re safe. The lengths I have gone through, and will always go through for you… I just… You mean a lot to me, and I hope you know that even if I don’t always have the words to say it directly.”

“I love you too, James.”

__

Tag List

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#happiness in misery #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #avengers #marvel #calpal irwin

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 133

Whew. I finally get a chance two queue chapters and add to my buffer! Yayyy me! Kind of long author’s note, feel free to skip to the readmore.

Seriously, though, I managed to only work 5ish hours of OT this week instead of the 25/wk I’ve been clocking the last several weeks. It’s been a ride, for sure. Thank you for bearing with me through this frankly-insane time.

@baelpenrose and I have had more chances to write together in real-time, which considering both our schedules and living 3 timezones apart has been a delightful miracle and I will never take it for granted ever again.

@anotherusrname and @the-raven-fae have been very encouraging of my efforts to work less, which - it turns out - has been a huge concern for oh, my entire family... Sorry I worried you all. :(  I’m trying to do better! Swear I have vacations coming up!

@charlylimph-blog has just been... such a support. She literally texts me every night at 10pm my time to tell me to take my most important medications. Sainted Eldritch Fae cannot be appreciated enough, and somehow I have two.

Final shout outs go to @snickerfritz, @just-a-pastel-bunny, and @eldritchmoths for love-bombing my inbox recently. Seeing anyone speed-run through this story lets me know that I’m not wasting my time.

Don’t forget to check out the podcast!!  AhhhhH! I want to scream in delight each time a new episode is released!

Focus, I told myself, breath coming in short pants. It was easier said than done, with sweat dripping into my eyes while I constantly tried to pay attention to where I was safe to move to without putting myself in the line of fire. Seeing the incoming hit, I ducked and pivoted to my left - 

“Oof,” I grunted as I took a blow to the ribs.  I managed not to be winded or fall, but I was pretty sure something just broke.

A voice taunted me. “You have got to get better at keeping your guard up.”

“I am,” I panted. “My ribs are a lot tougher than my face.” Refusing to be distracted, I jumped back from the next hit and started circling wide.

“And I hit harder than your sister.”

Yeah, well broken ribs are for bitches, I thought to myself. It wasn’t like I hadn’t had a broken rib before. I was fine. Out of reflex more than forethought, I pivoted my leg and bent my knee to absorb the shock of the next hit - this one to the thigh. Grabbing the offending leg, I held tight around the calf with one arm before shoving upwards on the heel with the other, dropping him onto his back.

Unfortunately, the kick to the chin I got as a result also landed me on my back.

Like an exceedingly annoying ninja, Arthur sprang to his feet before holding out a hand to help me up off the floor. “You should have expected that.”

I scowled and rubbed my jaw. “Why am I sparring with you again?”

“Because Tyche’s busy and I’m the only other person willing to actually hit you hard enough to teach you anything.”

Rolling my neck, I tried to relieve some of the tension that was setting in. “It’s not like aliens are going to know Terran hand-to-hand combat,” I pointed out as I took my stance for the next round.  This time, his movement was a lot more fluid, which told me he was going for grappling instead of striking.

The kick I almost took to the face told me that his stance was also a lie.

There wasn’t any time for trash-talking, this time around. I could barely find time to breathe as he aggressively attacked, although I barely managed to avoid him actually touching me.  I wasn’t an idiot - if he got a hold of me, I would be waking up from a forced nap with a sore throat.  However, after what felt like an eternity and was probably only about five minutes, the odds of keeping it up were dwindling.  My heart was pounding in my ears, my lungs were searing with the effort of trying to keep up with it, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that I had enough stamina to outlast him.  The man ran a 5k a day as a warm up.  Even more humiliating, I had spent the entire time running and dodging without even a chance to mount a counter to any of it.

Finally, I was spent.  Every time I tried to raise my hands, they shook so badly that there was no chance of landing a hit, even if I had the opportunity.  My legs were trembling, my knees burned, and the broken rib felt like someone was twisting a hot blade into my side.  Feeling defeated, I dropped my hands and squared my feet up.  The blow to the solar plexus was unsurprising, as was the chokehold he put me in as soon as I doubled over.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time this had happened while sparring with him - or even with Tyche.

I was so frustrated. No matter how much I sparred with either of them, I felt like I hadn’t gained any ground.  The whole point to training so hard was to prove that I actually could defend myself. Councilor or not, the thought that I was going to be shoved in the back of the Archives in the event of an attack was insulting.  Not only that, it was even more insulting than the time I had round-the-clock guards. No one else had to put up with this, why did I?

“Tap out, Sophia,” he warned me.  He wasn’t squeezing yet, but he had his arm locked tightly enough that I couldn’t get my head out.  When I silently refused, he sighed and applied pressure, pissing me off even more.

I’m not helpless, I growled at myself. The anger at myself and the frustration with the situation flooded my mind, and I started pulling against the hold with my legs.

“You’re going to break your neck,” he grunted as he leaned the opposite direction.  I may not have had his stamina, but I could also leg-press nearly five-hundred pounds. He could let go, or lean back, no other options.

Spots were floating in front of my eyes when I felt his posture change, and as soon as I felt it, both my arms swung up.  Assuming I was going to hit his face, he leaned back even further…

Right into the path of my cupped hands, which hit his ears hard enough to bruise both my hands.

“Ow, FUCK!” he shouted, the pain of his ruptured ear drums distracting him just enough that I was able to pull my head free.

As soon as I stood, he reached up to one of his ears, only to pull his hand away and see blood. “Son of a - “ he stopped when he realized what happened. “Huh. That… that is a pretty neat trick.”

Oh, just you wait, I thought to myself.

Sure enough, as soon as he tried to shift his weight for another assault, he stumbled. Trying to compensate, he made it even worse and ended up falling flat on his back.  Dropping his head to the mat in defeat, he splayed his limbs out to try to gain some sense of equilibrium. “Oh that is cool,” he muttered, obviously for my benefit since he couldn’t exactly hear himself.

I managed to get him to his feet and drag him to the corridor as the medical transport arrived - there was no way I was going to try to walk him to a medbay.  Once his eardrums were restored - along with his internal balance - Arthur stood and stared me down. “That was a dirty trick, Sophia.”  Without warning, I was suddenly pulled into a crushing hug. “I am so proud of you.  Do that, a lot of it.”

“Can’t breathe,” I gasped.

He released me, stepping back. “Right. The rib.”

I tried to wave him off. “It’s just a broken rib. I’ll be fine.”

“Medbay.” He gestured around the room. “Stop being stubborn.”

“You’re overreacting - “

“If you trip and fall, which you will, you can puncture a lung.”

“Hasn’t happened yet.”

“It’s been broken all of ten minutes. Medbay. Now.”

I glared at him. “If you think this is the first broken rib I’ve had, you’re insane. It’s not even the fiftieth.”

“Stop reminding me that I can’t go back to Earth and kill someone who is hopefully dead anyway. You made me go to the medbay for some broken teeth after the fight with Jokul. Also, with your luck it’s a miracle you haven’t killed yourself by breathing, and I am not going to be the one who’s next up on Tyche’s shit list. Go. Medbay. Now.”

I opened my mouth to argue again, but was cut off by swearing and Arthur literally just picking me up and dropping me in the closest berth.  With exactly zero shame, he pinned me down by my shoulders and hips while one of Noah’s avatars held me down from the other side and scanned, then healed, my broken rib - both of them, it turns out. Finally, they both let go of me.  “Can I leave now?” I asked petulantly.

“Only if you tell me the eardrum trick so I can figure out how to use it on other species.”

Sliding off the berth and to my feet, I ran a hand through my hair. “Easy. You just cup your hands so there aren’t any cracks between your fingers, like this.” I demonstrated. “And then try to clap your hands through someone’s head, right over the ears. Force of the air ruptures the ear drums, and the trauma reaction kills their spatial sense and balance.” When he tilted his head at the simplicity of it, I shrugged. “Women’s self-defense classes.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Speaking of women and self-defense, we have got to get you more in the habit of striking and blocking with your legs.  Pretty sure you’d kick like a horse if you tried.”

“If I kick you, I’ll break something.”

“Your legs are a lot tougher than you think - “

“I meant something on you,” I clarified, staring at the ground.

I didn’t look up, but I could hear the savage grin in his voice at what he said next. “Oh, we have got to try this.” When my head snapped up, sure enough, he was smiling. “If you can land a kick on me, I won’t even be mad if you break something. But that’s not what I meant.”

“You want me to test it on someone else?” That wasn’t exactly a better option.

He rolled his eyes. “Maverick literally does calibrations for a living. Pretty sure he’s got something that measures impact force.  Then we do the math from there.”

“I feel like I’m on an episode of MythBusters,” I grumbled as we headed out of the Medbay and back towards my office.

“I know!” he agreed enthusiastically.

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[statticscribbles]

Werewolf

Summary: Newt/Reader; Reader’s a werewolf, when Newt tries to show Leta, not knowing it’s actually you, the other students see. Newt gets expelled based on “making the werewolf attack Leta”

You hated the pain that came with the shifting but you hated how long it took you to shift through the memories from the night before that happened more. You only get flashes from what’s happened when you wake; curling under a stump in the forest you stagger up; memories flashing as the night unfolds in pieces. You can see yourself changing; the ache and cracking of bones covers the sound of twigs snapping as a figure throws a large hunk of meat towards you. Your wolf self eats it in moments and you can feel the way the sleeping draught settles on your bones; your mind sluggish and the urge to kill failing from both the draught and your stomach being full.

You make your way towards the school, hovering and knowing leaving the forest would be dangerous you’re about to return to it but you see a girl standing fearfully watching you before she yelps shoving herself backwards. Newt fills your vision blocking you from seeing the girl and you seem worried when he shouts for you to go back to the forest. The girl shouts hurling a hex towards you and you snarl growling as she tries to pull Newt back and they both run towards the school; your wolf overrides the desire to not hurt Newt as you chase them; before you realize there are more students and teachers gathering and you run back to the forest shaking and waiting out the rest of the night.

You rush up the headmasters steps, taking them two at a time until you’re sliding into the room as the door closes. “Now Newton; we’ve been told there was an incident regarding one of your creature friends. Leta was almost attacked.” “My daughter-“ “Mr. Lestrange; please.” “We’ve heard other students talking about it; and both you and Ms. Lestrange confirmed you were in the forest and were chased by what the others are saying was a werewolf.” “Well yes; but she didn’t want to hurt us. I’ve been studying her; and Leta came up behind me and scared me; which scared her and then-“ “The werewolf wouldn’t have let you get anywhere near it.”

“I fed it a sedative potion. Just a diluted sleeping draught. She wouldn’t hurt me. Or Leta; Leta just scared her. She was just scared.” He repeats the Headmaster sighs watching Dumbledore nod towards him. “Well Newt; we’re going to have to take serious action. If you’re going to stick up for this werewolf and not help us catch it; then we have no choice but to expel you.” “Expel?” His parents gasp and you cringe. “You helped a creature attack another student. By doing nothing you aided it in the attack.” The headmaster speaks; and Leta’s father nods.

The headmaster dismisses everyone and he and Dumbledore turn to talk. “Ms. Y/N everyone can leave that includes you.” “If I know where the werewolf is; will you not expel Newt?” “We would consider it.” “Do you know where it is?”  Dumbledore crouches down slightly and looks at you. You’re starting to shake and your voice fails you before you nod. “Can you tell us?” You chew your lip. “What will happen to the werewolf if I do?” The headmaster shrugs. “Most likely it will be taken to the ministry for evaluation; depending on how many it has killed it will either be arrested or killed.” “Killed?” You hesitate and the Headmaster sighs.

“Y/N. I understand being friends with Mr. Scamander has warped your perception; but Werewolves are not people anymore; they’re mindless creatures. It would be best for everyone for you to tell us what you know.” You swallow and shake your head. “I don’t want to hurt it.” You mumble and the headmaster sighs nodding to his door. “Get out then.” You nod and let Dumbledore walks you out and towards the hufflepuff common room. “Y/N it will be alright.” He comforts and you realize you’re crying. “No it wont! I messed everything up!” “No; not telling on the werewolf was a good thing.”

“No! Now Newt’s gonna get expelled and it’s all my fault cause I got scared. I don’t wanna die but I don’t wanna get him in trouble just cause I got scared!!” “What happened?” “Newt was just sitting there drawing and Leta came up and yelled and told him to run back and he said she was just overreacting and then she tried to hex me! I dunno what it was but it didn’t hit me cause Newt knocked her outta the way. I just got scared after that cause she pulled him away.” Dumbledore nods and then sighs. “I might be able to convince the headmaster to just expel Newt for the remainder of the term; which will only be the time after Christmas break until the next year; nothing so serious as forever.”

You peer into the common room relieved that no one seems to be lounging around; you know you look a mess; dirt smeared on your face and clothes; but you clutch at Newts sketchbook and journal he’d left in the forest. After Dumbledore had left you in front of the common room you’d gone back into the forest for it. You move as silently as you can trying to stick to the wall as you make it to the girl’s dormitory. “Y/N.” You jump when Newt calls out to you and he backs up slightly. “Sorry Y/N.” “No you don’t need to be sorry; I just- here.” You offer him the notebooks out and he blinks in surprise. “Where did you get these?”

“The were uh, near the edge of the forest.” You shrug and he watches you for a moment but nods. “Thank you.” He smiles softly and you nod back. “I’m really sorry about all this mess Newt. We all know that you didn’t mean any harm and Leta was just frightened when she tried to hex me and even then I don’t blame either of you and- Sorry I’m rambling again.” Newt nods and you nervously play with your sleeve. He pulls you into a hug and you bury your face into his shoulder. “Don’t want you to get expelled.” “It’ll be okay Y/N.”

When Newt returns from his summons back to the headmasters office he relays that he’d been told to gather his things and that he’ll be allowed to return after the year finishes. The hufflepuffs block the common room door on purpose; and even the portrait refuses to open for the headmaster and Newt’s parents; you wonder how silly it looks; all three of them trying to desperately tickle the pear with no change. Theseus is ten minutes away from finishing a very rushed batch of polyjuice potion which almost all of the boys in Newt’s year are determined to take. He assures everyone he’s actually winning out; getting an extra long Christmas holidays and everyone seems to agree that’s why they want to take the polyjuice anyways. He says his goodbye’s to everyone and Theseus rushes him slightly when it comes to you; you’re confused but so is Newt before his mother’s hand pulls him through the doorway.

You get the letter a week later; after Theseus had grabbed it and ripped it open for you. “Theseus!!” you frown when he holds it above your head before offering it out. “You want me over for Christmas holidays?” You grin at him and he rolls his eyes. “Newt does; well so do my parents they want to meet the person that has Newt so besotted.” “Besotted?” You stare at him and Theseus grins. “He’ll kill me for saying anything but everyone knows he fancies you.” “He doesn’t fancy me Theseus you’re lying!” You narrow your eyes. “We can see when we get to the train station; if he’s there waiting it means he fancies you.” “How does that prove anything?” “He’ll have come in on a hippogriff.” “No he won’t that’s ridiculous Thee.” You swat at him but he just laughs and shoves you towards the girls dormitory.

You sigh nervously. Watching as the train slows into the main station; Thesues grins nodding towards the platform and you peer out to see his parents; Newt standing right next to them, his hair looking windblown. “Why a hippogriff?” You grumble and Theseus grins. “Well you’ve said you’ve never ridden one before; now you’ll have.” “No there’s no way..” You trail off when newt looks nervous. “So Y/N, since you’ve never ridden on a hippogriff.” “You did not bring one here???” You squeal slightly and he grins nodding.

“Why on earth would I think that you were going to hurt me? You of all people, you couldn’t hurt your friend.” You tremble stepping backwards slightly and Newt frowns. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong again?” He drops his hands and you scurry forward. “You called me a person.” “You are.” “I’m a werewolf.” You breathe out and he nods your eyes widening again. “You knew?” “Of course; it’s why I know you’d never hurt me.” “Theseus says you fancy me.” You blurt out hoping to disturb the awkward silence. “Oh, he did?” You nod when Newt’s face falls.

“Yeah which surprised me cause I always thought you were sweet on Leta and wouldn’t be interested in me anyways and then there’s the whole werewolf thing cause i’m not a person anymore and-“ “You are a person or I just kissed a wolf.” Newt pulls back after he’d leaned forward to press his lips to yours. “Well you did.” You both turn to see Theseus leaning against the doorway. Newt hurls a pillow and a boil hex at him as he runs back towards the kitchen. “Dinners ready!” Theseus shouts when he’s a safe distance away. “Wonderful!” Newt shouts back and you follow him to the dining room where he’s glaring at Theseus and his mother is trying not to laugh.

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[wylanvnneck]

Hi hi! Congratulations! Can I ask for a Jurdan shot with the prompt in miscellaneous, *kiss post break up*? Thank you 💖

Miscellaneous Prompt #4:  *A kiss post break-up that neither was expecting but both needed* (action prompt)

Fandom: TFOTA

Ship: Jurdan

Masterlist | Prompt List

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Jude relished the burning sensation in her thighs as she completed her third round of the massive fountain at the center of the park. The early morning air was cool and the sunshine was just starting to heat up the place, creating the perfect setting for her usual morning jog. This particular spot was practically deserted, the only sound to be heard was the chirping of the birds and the light rustle of the trees and this type of peace was precisely what she needed before yet another tough day at work where she’d have to deal with her asshole colleagues. Well, just the one colleague. Cardan Effin’ Greenbriar.

The thought of his smug face and ludicrous cheekbones was enough to make her quicken her pace, a bead of sweat making its way down the side of her flushed face. Thoughts of his betrayal flood her mind and she wonders how she could ever have thought of him as roguishly charming. The man was a scoundrel, a blackguard. He was also not worth thinking about. She pushes the image of his floppy black locks and dark eyes away from her mind and runs even faster, leaving all her problems behind. This moment is cathartic, it was escaping all her turmoil, it was freedom and she relishes it.

Suddenly, she picks up on the sound of a twig snapping nearby. Out of the corner of her eye she spots a figure moving behind her, walking slowly and close to the trees lining the pathway, as if they didn’t wish to be seen. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion and her mind whirs, defensive martial art positions running through her head. From a young age her father had instilled in her the dangers of being out alone in deserted spots and the importance of always watching her back and she’s now on high alert as the figure behind her seems to be trying to move even further into the trees, still only a few feet behind her.

Thinking fast, she turns at the next corner and ducks behind a thick tree to the side, crouching her body behind it. The wood is scratchy under her sweaty palms and her heartbeat is racing at a mile a minute, the tension cutting through her body like a sword. Her surroundings seem sharper, more vibrant in her anxiety and soon enough she hears the light footfalls of someone approaching the turn. Seconds later, the figure is almost right in front of her, stopping when he realises that she’s no longer on the path. Finally she manages to get a good look at him and when she does she can’t help but let out a shocked gasp.

“Jude?” Standing right there in front of her with a bemused expression is Cardan Greenbriar, her colleague and ex-fling. She refused to think of him as anything else. “What on Earth are you doing?”

“What am I doing? You’re the one who’s been following me like some perverted creep.” Stretching herself back to her full height she steps away from the tree and onto the path to face him, her eyes narrowing and her blood pounding. How dare he act as if she were the one acting bizarrely.

“I-” The tips of his ears turn red and his hands wring together, “That’s fair I suppose. I was just umm…”

“Yes?” His blundering manner is uncharacteristic and confusing. Usually, he was the most overly confident bastard out there. Cardan Greenbriar was the suave type of guy who always knew exactly what to say and when, a talent that made him extremely useful as Head of Sales for Elfhame Enterprises, the company owned by his father Eldred Greenbriar, where they both worked.

“I simply wanted to talk to you alone for a bit but I figured that you’d avoid me at work and avoid any calls and texts from me too so I thought I’d come meet you at the park on your daily jog instead.” The words come out in a fast-paced stream, nearly unintelligible, his cheeks now red as well.

“Let me get this straight, you wanted to talk to me alone so you decided to stalk me at the park on my morning run and nearly give me a panic attack in the process?” She almost can’t believe her ears.

“When you put it like that it sounds wrong!” He huffs.

“How exactly am I supposed to put it, Cardan, that’s exactly what you did!”

“Alright so I may have lost my nerve and decided to trail you for a bit before approaching you. I realise now that that was a dumb idea.”

She resists the age to facepalm. “You think?”

“Look can’t we just put this all behind us?”

She lets out a long-suffering sigh whilst bringing her hands up to lightly massage at her now throbbing temples. “Okay, you said you wanted to talk? About what?”

The entire time that they'd been talking his stare had been trained somewhere near her chin, but now he raises his gaze to directly meet hers. “About us.”

“There is no us.” He’d made certain of that.

He takes a step forward, eyes blazing and she takes a larger step backwards, determined to keep her distance.

“Jude, you have to give me a chance to explain, you owe me that at least.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

There was no possible explanation that he could give for what he’d done. They hadn't always been at loggerheads, her and Cardan. At least, they hadn’t been for some time until the last week. When Jude had first joined the company last year, she’d despised the overly arrogant son of Eldred Greenbriar, thinking of him as the rich, self-entitled jerk that she was forced to work with.

Then a couple months in, he managed to persuade her to go on a date with him, one date and then if she didn’t want to agree to another he’d get the message and move on. So she’d gone, expecting to hate every minute of it, except that she hadn’t. They’d actually gotten along surprisingly well, he’d taken her to a chill little Diner, not the over-the-top fancy restaurant that she thought he’d pick and he’d opened the car door for her like a gentleman. They had chatted for hours about their multitude of shared interests and drank Carlton beer and drunkenly waltzed together along the floor and it was perfect and wonderful and crazy.

After that they became an item, they would share heated interludes by the otherwise deserted office printing machine in true cliché Office Romance fashion and they’d even kissed under the mistletoe at the office Christmas party and things were going great, until one day, Jude overheard a conversation between him and his brother, Balekin Greenbriar, Eldred’s right hand man and future heir of the company.

She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, she was only coming into Balekin’s office to hand over a file when she’d recognised Cardan’s voice saying her name. She would never forget the words that she had heard him say. ‘She’s a distraction...only a pointless fling....thought it would be fun to get under her skin....you know I like a challenge’.

The memory of those words alone are enough to bring back the hurt that had ripped through her when she had stood motionless on the other side of Balekin’s door, desperate to get away but trapped by her own denial and desire for self destruction.

Now she watches as he agitatedly ruffles his unruly black locks in front of her. “I swear to you, what you heard me say to Balekin, I didn’t mean a word of it.”

“Then why would you say it?” She’s torn between turning tail and leaving him there, turning her back on him for good or staying and waiting for his explanation, waiting to hear his reasons, why he’d done this to her, to them.

“You don’t know my brother, Jude.” His voice, his expression, his everything is bleak and open and vulnerable, begging for understanding. “He takes pleasure in destroying the things I love. It’s a game to him, one he’s been playing all my life, taking away what stops me from being miserable, and I couldn’t let him do that with you.

“Not with you,” he repeats, stronger. “You’re too important. So I knew I had to convince him that you meant nothing to me.”

Everything about his demeanour suggests sincerity and it definitely seems like he’s telling the truth and she wants to believe him, to trust him, she really does.

But she’s been hurt before and she doesn’t think she could chance being so again.

“I can’t trust you.”

“Yes, you can. You can choose to.” He steps forward now, close, so close, unrelenting.

She rises to the occasion and raises her face to meet his, a scant inch between them. “No, I can’t. I won’t.”

It’s a standoff now, neither willing to back down. The sun has made it’s way much higher in the sky and the yellow sunlight is beating down on them, the heat adding to the fire that has ignited between them.

“Stop being so stubborn, dammit,” he bites out, frustrated.

“Make me,” she sneers.

She doesn’t know how it happened, nor how she didn’t see it coming, but in the very next second Cardan’s lips are on hers, moving furiously and his arms are on her waist, holding her against him in an almost punishing grip.

It appears that he hadn’t quite seen it coming either because he pulls away from her before she has time to process more than a tingle running up her arms, his dark eyes wide and pupils dilated. They’re both breathing fast now, so close that they share breaths. They stare for a moment.

Then, with lightning speed she throws caution to the winds and wraps her arm around his neck, crashing her lips to his once more and this time she registers that his lips are soft under hers and he tastes like hot chocolate and breath mint and it feels glorious. It’s only been a little more than a week since they’d last kissed, but it felt like an eternity.

Minutes, hours, or days later they break apart, gasping for air and clutching at each other, neither one willing to relinquish their grip. Cardan rests his forehead on hers and looks at her with a startling amount of adoration and she knows right then and there that, scary as the thought is, she would forgive him anything, including this.

“Give me another chance?” He asks, pleading.

“Yes,” she breathes before reaching up to lose herself in kisses once more.

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I’m not entirely happy with this one tbh, but anyways here you go @franktastic-fangirl, thank you for sending in the prompt and for the congrats!🌻

Tagging my taglist (although I’m not entirely sure that I want y’all to read this, lol)- @cupcakesandkittens ​, @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln ​, @thewickedkings ​ and @kittkatandbooboo ​💕

Please let me know if you’d like to be added to or taken off of my TFOTA taglist :)

#hopefully a bit of fun at the beginning there hehe #drabble fic #one shots #fanfiction #tfota fanfiction #tfota fanfic #the folk of the air #dd writes #send me a prompt #jurdan #jurdan fic #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar

[kannra21]

Not Weak

Geten found herself in a tricky situation and she doesn't want Re-Destro to find out. How can a certain fire-user help her by making things even more complicated?

characters: dabi (todoroki touya) x f!geten

word count: 3.2k

warnings: angst, past memories, scars, abuse mention, foul language, comfort, making out

notes: I'd like to thank @seenalready13 for proofreading this work since I can be v clumsy with grammar haha. I'm v grateful for the help! And also, the picture above belongs to 九わん (@91qwn), here's the link to the artwork. Please support their work!

✂-------------------------------------------------------

Geten, as the keystone of the entire army, had the task of leading her group and ensuring that anyone within their ranks followed her instructions. The loyalty of their people was unquestionable as everyone adhered to Destro's teachings, and she was immensely proud of her Cryokinesis. 

The ice-user was grateful to their grand commander for granting her this amazing opportunity of making up for all the great things that he's done for her. She wore an honorable title, and her reputation has risen a lot since the hooning of her meta ability for years. However, she did experience all sorts of things their organization had to offer from the moment Re-Destro promoted her to his right-hand woman, believing that she'd be strong enough to take on the responsibility and he was right. It wasn't like she was bothered too much, especially since dealing with a couple of thugs on her own was no big deal for her. Still, this didn't mean that after performing their duties the soldiers couldn't relax and show their true colors.

This was the case with one guy in particular, who was casually hitting on her and calling her pet names which were utterly gross and humiliating. She had the utmost need to wipe the fucker out of the face of the Earth, but she also knew damn well that Re-Destro would disapprove of such actions considering that the army must avoid inner conflicts at all costs. Of course, she wanted to take matters into her own hands, to prove to the commander that she was deserving of her title, but the jerk simply wouldn't take her seriously as she wanted to be through with whatever problem she had without necessarily dragging Re-Destro into it. That's why she decided to take the easier route and use someone to her own advantage.

"What's in there for me?" Dabi asked, uninterested as he fixed the staples on his burnt skin.

It's true that they were partnered up to share their leading spot at the Vanguard Action Guerilla Warfare Regiment: Violet, but this didn't mean that they had to play nice with each other. Especially after Geten's offensive speech of power and people's place in this world. 

She clenched her fists in her pockets; of course, she should've known that he'd ask for something in return. "I don't have much to offer,” she said through greeted teeth. 

She looked almost pitiful if it weren't for her leading position; she felt stupid to even ask for help when she could've just ended the whole mess with one swift motion of her ice, and bam, the fool's dead. Well, if things could be that easy.

"I... I'M THE TOP LIEUTENANT AND THEREFORE I DEMAND OBEDIENCE! LIKE I NEED TO CONFIDE IN YOU, BURNT CHICKEN NUGGET SCUM!"

"THE FUCK-" Dabi stood up, fire flaring up in his hand and ready to strike as he saw Geten backing off with ice covering her right arm, bracing herself for the upcoming attack.

And then he saw it, at this very moment, the look of hesitation and unease covering her blue eyes. She... didn't want to fight? Was she defending herself? It reminded Dabi of something else from his past, or rather someone, defending themselves from his flames, wearing the exact same expression on their face while protecting his youngest brother. The dripping water from her ice washed over his memories as he obtained one after another in a frantic blur. Nostalgia soon followed the guilt, and it tore him apart, except he didn't want to show it, but Geten already noticed his anger faltering which was her cue to relax.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered under his breath, barely for her to hear. 

"What?" as the question rolled out of her mouth, she internally lost herself in delirium "BLUEFLAME CRISPY MCBACON JUST APOLOGIZED WTFWTFWTFWTFWTWTF-"

"Geten?"

"YES?" she snapped, too loud for what she initially intended. 

"I'll help you, and there's actually something you can do for me in return."

She crossed her arms and smirked confidently at him from her previous ego boost, much to his frowning expression. 

"Whatcha suggestin'?"

"I'll scare the fucker off, and you'll then... cool down my skin from using my flames. Deal?"

Geten looked at him for a moment to determine if he was joking about the offer but from the looks of it and his deep husky voice that she got used to oh so many times during the past week of working with him, she concluded that he was, indeed, not messing around. Dabi expected her to laugh it off or straight up refuse whatever suggestion he had on mind, but from the manner she weighed her choices in her head and the way she looked at him, with those bright, beautiful eyes and long lashes fixated to his own... Wait, when did they get this close?

The two backed off and cleared their throats in embarrassment. They were freaking staring at each other, and for fucking what?

"I... It's a deal then."

"Good."

… 

"Just... don't hurt yourself too much while dealing with the idiot."

Dabi turned his head so fast his neck hurt. 

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD?!"

"SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

As they reached the place where their target was supposed to be, the man soon showed up by Geten's side and started pestering her with all kinds of bull he made her deal with on a daily basis. And just as she felt sick enough, Dabi put his hot hand on the guy's shoulder, making his skin sting in the first-degree burns. The guy then backed off and glared at the fire-user with utmost disdain.

"THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

"Listen up freak", Dabi took Geten for the waist and gently pulled her towards himself, her body leaning on his own and fitting perfectly under his larger frame, "I saw what you did there. You’d better stop messing with my girlfriend, or else you'll burn to ashes."

Geten internally screamed and pinched him on the side for being a fucking idiot. "HIS GIRLFRIEND!? THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY OUT LIKE THAT!"

"You sound too confident, guess I should give you a nice beating to teach you a lesson."

He soon regretted his decision because Dabi was entirely down to realize his threat, and after a couple of burns, the moron retreated while he still could and left Geten alone.

And while she hated that they needed to make a scene in front of the other soldiers who were whispering to each other and exchanged who knows what kinds of things, she couldn't leave Dabi alone like this so she put his hand over her shoulder and helped him reach a more secluded area. They entered his room because he said that he kept the first aid kit in a drawer. It was also the first time that Geten came by but it didn't look at all exciting either; the room had a very plain interior, darkened space with the shutters down, piles of dirty clothes creased to the side probably waiting to be washed, the bed left unmade since this morning, a bunch of disinfectants sitting on the nightstand and some used medical gaze forgotten to be thrown away. Geten almost felt sorry for him. It's not like she was doing any better but at least she knew how to take care of herself.

She seated him carefully on the bed, and he started digging through drawers until he found what he needed. When he was all set, he began to take his jacket and shirt off but then Geten panicked and lowered his shirt. 

Dabi's confusion mixed with annoyance was now directed towards the ice gremlin's pretty face. "Aren't you going to cool me down?"

"I THOUGHT YOU ONLY MEANT HANDS AND THINGS LIKE THAT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!?" she shouted with blushing cheeks covering her face with her hands.

Dabi soon understood what she meant and closed his eyes, wearing a disheartened smile. 

"It's not like you'll see much. Just a bunch of patched-up skin and bruises. It's not even that hot."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT-,” but then she noticed that his expression never actually faltered, he looked to the front and waited patiently for her next move, sadness surrounding his wounded features. It's not like it was his first time reconciling with the facts, but still, being this burnt and knowing that it wasn't entirely his fault, but his father was also to blame, which made him remember the days when he wasn't in such a fucked up condition as he was now. It made him feel a bit of regret too. But he needed to acknowledge that the path he took was the one with no return, and he needed to accomplish his mission. Endeavor needed to be brought down at all costs; maybe then he'd gain a sense of worth and show him, prove to him, that he was deserving of more incredible things. The ice-user sighed in defeat and gave up on her embarrassment, "just show me what you got.”

Dabi was brought out of his train of thought, and he took off his shirt. It turns out that he was right, some of his scarred skin was sizzling slightly, and his wounds looked terrible because they were situated further on the back where he couldn't reach. She took the disinfectant from the nightstand and tapped it lightly on the freshly made scars. He made a slight grimace, but didn't flinch, didn't wince, like he was afraid of showing his weaknesses by putting on a tough act. It'll all pay off, he assured himself, once he gets rid of his dad. 

When she finished, he allowed Geten to scoot closer to make her do her thing. Her icy hands on his skin felt so good that suddenly he forgot about all of his problems. He turned his face to the side so she wouldn't notice, but the goosebumps on his skin told her otherwise. 

She made a sly smile and cocked her head to look at him from the corner. 

"What's up, tough guy? Can't hide the way I make you feel good?"

He laughed under his breath. He liked when she was this flirty. It made the situation less awkward. But he also felt uncomfortable with how he needed to depend on someone, just like her, when she asked for his help. Were they that similar?

"I need to ask you something,” Dabi asked quietly like he was probing the waters. 

"Yea?"

"Do you still think that I'm weak?" 

The silence filled the room, and he had the need to explain himself. 

"You said that there's no worth living if the user doesn't possess a strong meta ability. Hooning your power was the only thing worth your time as you didn't wish for anything else. You always thought that our Quirks defined us, that they're things we identify with for life. Now that you've taken a closer look at my condition, tell me, what do you think?"

Geten suddenly grew interested in the laminate floor under their feet as she couldn't look anywhere else, her eyes deep in thought.

"That was very mean of me, and I'm sorry, especially since you risked your own health for my reputation."

"... by calling you, my girlfriend?"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY ACTUAL SENSE!?, her teeth grew sharp, and her eyes furrowed like some rabid cartoon character. 

"It did, actually. Because of my threat, the fool is now afraid of looking at your general direction, knowing that I'd kick his ass whenever he says something stupid again."

Unbothered, he drank his painkillers from the glass of water. 

"... Wait. You'd really repeat all of this... for me?"

Just as he drank, so did he spit, coughing and wiping his chin with his forearm.

"Of course I would, but don't get the wrong idea."

""WRONG IDEA"? YOU LITERALLY CALLED ME YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!"

"IT WAS JUST TO CONFUSE THE FUCKER!"

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU REPEAT IT?"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU REALLY!"

"THEN WHY'S IT!?"

"I JUST NEED YOU FOR YOUR STUPID ICE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

The room fell in complete silence once again, and the tension became so thick one could almost cut it with a knife.

Her expression grew cold, and her eyes bore nothing but pure disgust. "So that's what this was all about."

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO SURPRISED NOW? IT WAS OUR DEAL, REMEMBER?"

She sat up from her seat and went straight to the door, readying herself to leave.

"Wait."

Just as she was about to step out, she turned around, his tone of voice catching her off guard only to see him sitting miserably on his bed, head hanging and elbows leaning on his knees, grieving.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Geten stood at the doorway for a minute and then slowly entered again, closing the door behind her. Dabi continued.

"I say things that I don't mean and push the people I care about away."

The white-hair watched his back in silence until she decided to speak up again "... So you actually meant it... the other way?"

"I'm such a sick fuck."

She sensed the crack in his voice and came closer, undoing his hands only to see blood trailing down his face. 

"Whoa, what's going on with your scars?" she tried to wipe it off only to smear it across his cheeks, and Dabi smiled a little.

"Aren't you disgusted by it? Now all of your fingers are red."

She didn't mind his words but created an ice cube to wash it with the water.

"I should call Sceptic. He’s much better at this medical shit than I am."

"No one can help me with it. My tear ducts are all burnt out, and I can't really tear up much."

"Wait, you're crying?"

Dabi refused to say anything as she tried to wipe the rest of the blood off, pressing gentle circles on his now iced skin.

"Blueflame…"

"Hah, actually, you're right. Maybe I really am as weak as you told me back then. I literally am falling apart. How pitiful."

Without a second thought, she slapped him across the face, and he took his stinging cheek in his hand.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

"Thanks...."

"I'm sorry. Look, you're everything but weak, so don't you dare call yourself that. You endured so much pain, your skin is the proof of the things you've gone through in life, and you freaking survived. No one would be able to do this but you. You're not weak, Blueflame, far from it."

"You think so?"

"Of course I do! If it weren't for your help today, I would have talked to Re-Destro, and he'd think that I was too weak for my leadership role. I never actually thanked you for this, thank you."

"You're not weak either, doll. I'm pretty sure that you've beat my ass the week before."

She just smiled at him, and then they looked at each other the same way they did when they made their offer, except they didn't back off this time. They leaned into the kiss that was slow at first, but then they applied more pressure, and it grew more passionate. It was also their first time, so they couldn't really make fun of each other's clumsiness. Whenever their teeth collided, they laughed a little but continued until it felt right. She melted against him, her lips working in tandem with his and his hand slid up her outer thigh as he leaned forward to deepen it. She grasped his lower lip with her teeth before pulling away for some air, and he groaned.

"God, this felt good..." his chest heaved, his words a gravelly whisper.

She stood up and widened her stance, legs bracketing his own as she reached out to grab the back of his neck. She leaned over, forehead resting against his.

"You're not so bad yourself, gorgeous-eyes."

"I differ, yours are much more gorgeous."

"Really? Kinda sappy coming from your side." she grinned, but this didn't discourage him in the slightest.

"I could get lost in them, I mean it."

He caught her face in his palms, drawing her in deeper as his tongue slipped between their lips and slid against hers. His Quirk activated, his kiss is fierce and sweet all at once, and her head spins as his hands slid up her thighs, warming her up. Her mouth became much cooler now, and it sent shivers down his spine. She planted her icy hands on his shoulders and pushed them both backward, landing on the comfort of his bedsheets.

He drew circles over her back and waist, taking in her beautiful features as her head hovered over his own, hair tickling the skin on his face. She gave him a little peck that made him smile, and she cupped his face, thumbs stroking the side of his cheeks.

"So we're official now?" she didn't know why she asked. It was kind of obvious now, but she wanted to hear it coming from his lips.

His expression became serious again as he looked to the side concerningly. He really didn't want to spoil whatever they had going on with his fucked up story about his family, hero society, his mission that could possibly cost him his life for the sake of achieving greater good. Now the last thing he needed was to fall in love with someone and die when he finally found his reason. Life was such a bitch sometimes.

"I'm currently dealing with a very unfortunate situation. I'm afraid that you'd get affected, and I don't want to endanger you by it."

She tilted her head questionably, "And I thought that we'd overcome everything as long as we're fighting together."

He looked at her worryingly, but his words bore a tad bit of curiosity in them, "You want to fight by my side?"

"Of course, you have my full support." she grinned widely, and he smiled, shaking his head in disbelief. It was amazing how much optimism, or rather confidence, could be stored in one single ice gremlin. But he loved her more than everything.

"Very well then." he turned them over and planted a kiss on her forehead before getting on his feet and pulling her up towards himself. "Boss told me about some business we need to take care of in the neighborhood. Cocktail hours?"

"FUCK WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY EARLIER!?"

"Relax, we'll arrive on time." he took his shirt and jacket and put them on.

As they walked towards their location, Dabi took her hand in his while some of the soldiers watched them in confusion, remembering when the two fought against each other.

He couldn't care less. She was the first person who ever supported him, so if his days were outnumbered, then he'd as well spend them with the only person worth his time.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #dabi #geten #dabiten #dabi x femgeten #f!geten #fanfic #paranormal liberation front #meta liberation army #league of villains #plf #mla #lov

[stanknotstark]

Astral Pt. 12 (Loki x Reader)

Well we’re starting to get around to the real questions I need to answer and in due time I will ^^ For now I’m just throwing an idea out there but is it true?! Guess you’ll find out :D Also Loki’s whole dilemma about being adopted is being poked, can’t wait to write conversation out >:)

It’s a few days later and you’re looking around for Loki. You find him once Jarvis gives you a heads up that he’s training with Thor a few floors below. 

Entering the room you see Loki swipe Thor’s feet from under him and hiss at the loud thud of Thor’s body hitting the mat. Loki smirks up at you but it’s quickly wiped off when Thor brings Loki down to the ground too since he wasn’t paying attention. You giggle when Loki protests saying he was distracted by you entering and Thor goes on to tell him he cannot be distracted by you so easily lest his foes will kill him. 

“Go easy on him Thor, I’m sure in a real battle Loki won’t fall into such gips with me around.” 

Thor and Loki get up from the ground and come near you. You have made yourself a seat on one of the bench press. 

“I am not so sure given he was attacked just the other day while in your presence.” Thor says, wiping his hands on a white towel. 

Loki magics a towel into his hands and dabs at his sweaty forehead. 

“I merely underestimated my foe.” Loki says rolling his eyes. 

“You would do well to not do so again, it may be a more serious injury next time.” Thor says with a small frown. 

“Stuff it, I already got onto him for what he did. I think that’s enough chastising him.” 

You smile a little when Loki gives you a look that says thank you, then pecks your lips. Thor grabs the water bottles they brought down, handing Loki his, and then proceeds to drink nearly the entire bottle in one mouthful which causes your eyes to widen and Loki to grimace. 

“The Growing Men, it has been ages since we’ve seen them.” Thor says once he’s finished with his water. His tone is filled with wonder and curiosity. Loki waves a hand and refills Thor’s bottle, Thor gives an acknowledging sound of thanks.

“At least a few centuries the last I heard they had come to Earth, Egypt specifically.” Loki says, pushing you to the side a bit so he may also rest on the bench press next to you. 

“So, what, they came here and just disappeared until now?” You ask both the brothers. 

“That’s what it seems like. We aren’t quite sure why they came in the first place, unless you...” Thor says, looking at Loki inquisitively. Loki shakes his head. 

“Well do you have any ideas as to what brought them back?” You ask, letting a hand settle on Loki’s thigh. 

“The only thing we gathered was that they came for you since he specifically stated this but what could they want from you?” Thor asks more to himself than you to think it over. 

You sit there for a bit, looking at the floor in thought anyways, Loki at your side looking at you with a questioning look on his face, and Thor with a raised brow but otherwise they stay silent and let you think. 

“I-” You begin, frown, “I don’t know. I don’t have anything they could want, my family surely doesn’t have anything they want? I mean I never had an exciting childhood, I never found any alien artifacts, I wasn’t born to magic wielding parents...” You say lamely. Loki runs his hand over your hand on his thigh in comfort. 

“Is it possible your parents...” Thor begins, you look up at him and catch the look on his face as he looks at Loki. Loki frowns at Thor but both you and Loki catch on to what Thor means at roughly the same time. 

“You think I was adopted?” You ask Thor. There’s a red flag waving around your head as to why he looked at Loki like that when he thought of that but you bury it until you can bring up the matter with Loki, alone. When you look at Loki he refuses to meet your eye. There’s something he hasn’t told you for sure.

Thor crosses his arms and nods. “It’s always a possibility.” 

You shake your head, “No, my parents had ultrasounds and my birth certificate, I don’t see how I could be adopted.” 

“It is quite easy to manipulate these things though. Shield completely erased you from existence, did they not?” Loki asks, catching your eyes. 

You swallow and look away from Loki’s concerned eyes. You can feel the flutterings of a panic attack coming but luckily Loki understands and pulls you into a hug. 

“Don’t think too hard on it, it was merely a suggestion.” Thor says as a way of forgiveness for causing any panic. He softly claps a hand on your back and says, “I’m sure we’ll find answers soon, they won’t leave without trying to persuade you to go with them one more time.” 

You nod at Thor with a grateful smile. Then ask the serious question. 

“The Growing Men, who is their master?” 

The brothers breathe for a beat then Loki responds. 

“Kang, King of Kings, Master of Men.” 

“Right,” You said slowly because you had no idea who that was, “And you mentioned the magic he used was jumping through time but also through alternate timelines?” You said trying to grasp everything.

“Yes, he is originally from Other Earth in the 31st century.” 

“He isn’t born until the year 3000?” You look at Loki incredulously. 

“Correct.” Thor responds. Loki brings his hand to rub your back as you process the information. 

“What could I have that he needs so bad to not only jump through time but also through an alternative universe?” You mostly whisper to yourself. While you’re in thought Loki asks Thor, “The last we saw of him he was on the search for a celestial, Madonna, correct?” 

You look up at Thor who frowns at the ceiling, a finger at his chin in thought. “I believe so, mother had made a prophecy about Madonna and it caused Kang to go into an uproar. He demanded Madonna come to him but she went into hiding. I’m not sure if he ever found her.” 

“Do you know where this celestial is, or even the prophecy?” You ask the brothers, sharing a look between the two of them. They both shake their heads and you sigh. Then an idea pops up in your head. 

“Maybe, if Tony could lock onto the magic a celestial wields then surely he can make something that could track her-” You look at Loki to make sure it’s a her, he nods, “-down. You could help him, right?” You look at Loki who nods.

“I’m sure we can come up with something.” He says. 

“It’s the best thread we’ve got so far. I say we sniff out this path and see what the cat drags in.” You say.

Loki’s face scrunches up, “You midguardians truly have the weirdest idioms.”

This causes you to laugh. Thor gives a sound of agreement.

“Just the other day Tony said something about hitting a sack,” Thor smiles at your laughter and Loki’s curious frown, “I asked why he decided he wants to train at such an hour, he meant that he was going to bed.”

Loki lets out a scoff and rolls his eyes causing you to laugh harder.

Pt. 11.1/Pt. 12/?

Tag list: @justfangirlthingies​ @emelieh99​ @high-functioning-lokipath​ @loveableasshole​ 

#soooo im giving clues and foreshadowing some events that shall come to pass #loki #loki x reader #astral #astral pt.12 #reader insert #loki odinson #thor odinson #thor #sooooo you might have been able to guess that i was gonna choose kang #to be the main villain #cuz one i wrote a small drabble with him in it earlier he didnt say anything or do anything but i did write about him #then if you read the comics and know of the growing men they are his little league of warriors from separate time periods that he gathered #to fight for him in the comics #their powers or at least a base power i know of #is that when they are struck by something they grow in size and strength #im not actually sure how the avengers got around that in the comics #but i already have a way created that loki and you will use to defeat them ^^ #anyways #i love writing the brothers together #i so desperately #want them to have a good brotherly bond #that's why i dropped all the drama between them that happens after avengers #they'll still have drama but not like terrible drama #im mostly gonna have them supporting each other

[talas-starlight]

Scarred Spirit - Zuko x fem! reader (pt.3)

SUMMARY: this takes place around the end of book 1 - but uhhhh I deadass don’t know how to give a summary for this without giving anything away soooo enjoy!

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

WARNINGS: mentions of death and suicide. Scars. Swearing. Non- sexual nudity. Nightmares. Panic attack ish.  mention of torture.

KEY: italics = internal thoughts & *** = flashback

OTHER PARTS:  pt1   /   pt2 /  pt4   /   pt5   /   pt6

MASTERLIST: Here!

You’d been walking in the back streets of the capital with your face turned to the sun for the past two hours. The black mask shielding the bottom half of your face hid the sigh that left your lips as you finally approached the palace.

Fucking finally.

Even though you were a Fire bender, it didn’t make it any less annoying as the sun blistered down of the completely black outfit you were wearing. It covered every piece of your skin from your neck, down to your feet. Even your scarred fingertips were hidden from the world.

As you neared the gates, they immediately began to open, inviting you in with open arms. This made you one of the few people, apart from the royal family, that didn’t need to prove their identity to get in. All the guards knew who you were and what you did for the Fire Lord, promoting you from being a prisoner to one of the most well looked after people in the entire Nation. Technically, they were never instructed to provide you with immediate access. Yet, as rumours spread throughout the palaces’ echoing halls, their fear of you doing what you did to all those people when out on missions, seemed to override those basic routines.

Normally you’d scoff at how silly it all was, the fact that they feared a 16-year-old girl almost made you feel sorry for them. As guards of the Nation they should stand with pride and confidence. You suppose that’s what happens when even though they don’t see it, they have nothing to be prideful about considering who their current ruler is. Regardless, today you appreciated their diligence, storming through the gates, and making your way straight to the throne room. You didn’t even give anyone an initial glance. You were pissed. This had been the fourth mission in a row where you were sent to take out some random high position person from some other nation. All this travelling back and forth began to get on your nerves.

Maybe it was from the heightened stress of the most recent task. This one, in particular, set you off because of the minimal information you had to take them out. All you were provided with was that they were from the Water Tribe, and had been at sea in a fleet for multiple years, taking down Fire Nation units.

Gee thanks! Give me a few weeks, and I’ll track down this mysterious person you don’t even know the name of and be on my way! Hmmm, now my first plan of action will be to flip a gold piece to decide if I should swim to the Northern or the Southern tribe to gather intel! Just you wait Ozai. I’ll take that stupid, pathetic, floppy thing you call a beard and drag you into the fire in front of your throne you piece of-

Abruptly cutting off your internal rant, you walked past the guards who immediately opened the doors to the throne room as they saw you approaching; noticing the long braid down your back alit in your raged fire. Reaching the middle of the throne room you didn’t even bother to bow, throwing a Water Tribe necklace splattered in blood to the ground. “It’s done.”

The guard closest to you hastily picked it up and climbed the stairs to hand it to Ozai for an inspection. Eyeing the tribal necklace in the guards’ hand, he made no move to take it away from him physically. Ironic how he has slaughtered so many yet refuses to get real blood on his hands.

“Prove yourself.”

You instantly provided him with the report you memorised on how you conducted the mission with details on an weekly basis. This ensured you actually went through with the assassination- you suggested that you could bring back their head two years ago, but apparently that was too gruesome to be in the presence of the great Fire Lord. There were no pauses or stutters as you rehearsed it on your journey back to the capital.

“Present the details of the savage.”

You held back a sigh, this was always your least favourite part. “The person you sent out for went by the name of Hakoda. He was of the Southern Water Tribe and Chief to one of its smaller villages. During my time undercover in the tribe, I acquired knowledge that his wife was disposed of under the assumption that she was the last Waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe and had two children. It is also to my knowledge that his children are currently travelling with the Avatar. Through making connections with the villagers, I set out to sea in search for him and managed to gain access and trust upon the main ship when they were docked in an isolated part of the Earth Kingdom for supplies. I went under an alias of a homeless non-bending orphan from the Northern Water Tribe wanting revenge on the Fire Nation for slaughtering my parents. When it came time to dispose of him, I did so in the middle of the night after faking a nightmare, seeking him out as a father figure for comfort. I used his own weapon against him as he held me, speaking words of comfort, expressing that I was safe and how I was like a daughter to him. A daughter who would have been a great older sister to his children. During this moment of emotional weakness for him, I assassinated him before he could have even registered that I would have been an awful sister. Leaving before dawn, I made the scene look like a suicide with a letter expressing in detail how being away from his children was too much to bear.”

Ozai looked up from the necklace, satisfied with the briefing. “Hmmm, well-done y/n. Tell me, what do you know of his children?”

“Nothing of great importance other than knowledge of them travelling with the Avatar.”

“Very well, you may have a day’s rest and will be informed of your next task tomorrow evening. Your payment for your services is already in your quarters.”

You bowed knowing you were lucky he let it slide when you walked in. “Thank you, my Fire Lord.”

Exiting the throne room, you made your way to your living quarters, looking forward to the sensation of washed hair, clean clothes, and your bed.

When you finally made it back to your room, you let out a sigh of relief immediately ripping off your mask. As the years went by, nothing seemed to get easier, and nothing seemed to stop. You cherished the moments of silence, the brief period of time where the universe aligned in such a way that you were able to pretend this wasn’t your life. One mission after another, constantly lying to do what needed to be done, amid all the alias’ you made up, you wondered which one really demonstrated who you were as a person. The idea of having to settle with the Fire Lord’s personal assassin didn’t necessarily make you giddy with pride.

You made your way to the bathtub that awaited you in the adjoining room, peeling off the once breathable fabric, off your body as you went. The tub was already full as the servants went to prepare it when they heard the word of your return. You finally unravelled the braid holding your hair together, yet another symbol of the job you committed yourself to. On the first day of training, you were told that if you were caught, your affiliation with the Fire Nation should be buried with you.  

Your skin shuddered as you entered the chilled water, easing your mind that warm water would never satisfy in this Nation’s climate. You leant back with a small wince as your scarred back made contact with the tub. Growing up, it wasn’t uncommon for other assassins to have some form of physical scarring whether that be from training, a mission gone wrong, or punishment from their supervisor. In some unusual way, you were never insecure about it, only annoyed that you had to sleep in odd positions because of the sensitivity.

You began to drift, succumbing to the cool, soothing water around you. Between the stress of returning to the capital, and the stress that awaited you on your next task, you allowed yourself to let go. Free yourself of any thoughts. In your current state, you weren’t scarred. You weren’t trapped in what seemed like a never-ending cycle of duty. You weren’t anyone to anything.

As the moon began to shine through the windows into the bathroom, you woke up with a start, water splashing onto the tiles around you, your heart racing and sweat soaking the unsubmerged parts of your body. Running your hand through your hair, you fought the urge to let out an overwhelmed sob. Nightmares were a common occurrence for you, but this one settled under your skin like a scratch you would never be able to itch.

Air seemed to close in on your lungs, no matter how much you tried to calm yourself down, all you could focus on was the fact you couldn’t breathe. Hastily fumbling, and tripping as you got out of the tub, you forced yourself to reach for the first clean robe you could get your hands on. As your thoughts mixed into on jumbled heap, you desperately tried to get it together.

He believed you.

They all did, you knew it in the way that the guards struggled to hide back their expressions of discomfort as you described how you oh so easily manipulated a grown man, warrior, and chief, only to kill him.

It was a lie. All of it. Yet why did I dream of them finding out now?

You’ve never assassinated anyone since that general three years ago, and you most certainly never killed Hakoda. From the very moment you accepted the offer, you knew you’d never go through with the commissions. During the brief period when you trained and got back onto a healthy diet was when you mentally formulated how you would conduct each “killing”. It was simple, you’d carry out the mission as you normally would, but in the time you were supposed to spend working out how to dispose of them, you helped them create a new life for themselves. You didn’t bother trying to shield the truth from them, knew the Fire Lord wanted them dead. While it sent them into a panic, in the long run, it made everything a whole lot easier. They could never go by who they once were, and needed to move far, far, away from wherever they lived. The lives they once knew erased, cutting off all ties.

Idiot. Why did I have to make an exception now?

Instantly dismissing the question that wriggled its way into your head, you began to journey to the kitchens in desperate need for a distraction. You knew why you made the exception.

***

Three weeks ago, when you were on the ship with Hakoda, you did actually have a nightmare, prompting you to go out onto the deck to clear your mind. The air was crisp, eliciting goosebumps across your skin. Quickly letting out a breath of fire, you began to regulate your body temperature as you noticed Hakoda already looking out to the never-ending expanse of the ocean. As an experienced warrior, he heard you approach.

“Y/n? The moon has been out for a long time now, you should be asleep.”

Sighing, you stood next to him, joining him in looking out to the sea. “Nightmares.”

He nodded in understanding. “Do you want to talk about it?”

There was no fear in your voice as you recounted the altered memories of your torture, he already knew who you were, where you were from… what you did. All things considered; he took everything pretty well, barely holding it against you. To him, you were just a kid who was sucked into this life, making the best with what you had.

Finishing your poor recount of the nightmare, you turned to face him. “I have to go back soon. I’ve been pushing it by staying for an extra month. We need to make a plan for you to leave. You need to start a new life.”

He knew this conversation was coming ever since he managed to persuade you to help them out for a while. After all, he seemed to look straight past the wall you put up to know that you wanted Ozai’s reign to end. Despite respecting your boundaries, when you took off your mask in front everyone on board, the scar on your neck that travelled beneath your long sleeve shirt as it encompassed your hand, was enough to know that you suffered just like everyone else.

“Y/n, you know I can’t do that. My children, Sokka and Katara, they’re travelling with the Avatar right now, and I haven’t seen them since they were young. I can’t just leave and have you fake my death like that, Bato told me how much hope that knowing I’m alive brings to them! If I go and word gets out that you ‘assassinated’ me… it will crush them. Their close relationship with the worlds only hope is too much of a risk. I need them to be strong. The world needs them to be strong. I’m sorry y/n, but I can’t.”

You stared at him processing his words. Ultimately you knew he was right, but you couldn’t go back after such a long time just to say you failed. The Fire Lord would destroy you. “I understand where you are coming from. I do, but you can’t seriously expect me to go back with nothing! What do you expect me to do?! Oh, sorry Fire Brain I couldn’t kill him because something suddenly possessed me to feel bad about how his children might feel! Don’t worry, though, I didn’t care every other time I knew about other targets’ children! Unless you have some genius plan, I’m sorry, but Sokka and Katara are just going to have to suck it up. Let’s be realistic, yes, this MAY damage them and their duty to support the Avatar, but at least you can go back to them when this war is over!”

He ran his hand over his face, clearly trying to stay calm and collected. “I know, y/n. That’s why I’ve been up all night making a plan, but you’re not going to like it.”

You crossed your arms, scoffing at him. “The fact you’re suggesting something other than what I have ALREADY planned makes me not like it… but let’s hear it.”

He attempted to start with the parts of the plan he knew you’d agree on, which didn’t last long. “Well, we can incorporate some of your plans into it, that being we fake my death taking by tribal necklace back to the Fire Nation splattered in the animal’s blood. Yet everything else? We’re scrapping it.”

Biting on your tongue, you fought the urge to scream at how stupid this was sounding.

Relieved you didn’t bite back, he continued. “I’ll stay with the crew and then-“

That was enough for you to lose control. “Okay, I’m sorry did you just say you want to stay with the crew?! I am supposed to be taking out the LEADER OF THIS FLEET! If you stay with them and continue to attack vulnerable units, they will know, and they’ll have my head!”

“I know y/n! Which is why, when you’re gone, Batu will temporarily take over as captain until further notice. I, on the other hand, will only help plan the attacks stay in the background until it’s safe. Now, as for my kids, we’ll send them a letter letting them know I’m safe and hopefully a location so I can reunite with them.”

“But what if-“

“The letter gets intercepted? It’s just going to have to be a small risk.”

Taking a deep breath, he tried to bring the conversation to a less hostile level. “More often than not, there is no perfect plan. You should know that, by faking all of your assassinations since working for the Fire Lord. Which might I add, is the biggest risk you could possibly take. It will all work out in the end; trust me. But, this is your playing field, if you truly think me disappearing is the only way, then we can go ahead with the original plan.”

Sucking in a breath, you stared at Hakoda as if he grew two heads.

Did he just give me an option?

“W-what do you mean what I think?! You literally just said that you CAN’T leave your children! You gave me an alternative plan, and now you’re saying that if I disagree you’ll do as I say? That doesn’t make any sense.”

He let out a laugh, amused by your concerns. “Y/n, you have been trained in this area and executing the fake assassinations all on your own for over two years. No one knows the ins and outs of how the Fire Nation plans things like you do. If you think my plan is severely flawed and both of us are bound to get caught, I will trust your judgement in which is the best to conduct. Yes, I said that we should be thinking of my kids and the Avatar, his destiny is bigger than any of this, but everyone should be allowed to choose what they want to do, I am just allowing you to expand your options.”

With a final breath, he truly looked at you with sincerity, “I trust you y/n.”

It all seemed too much. All your life it felt like there was only one obvious pathway; do what it takes to survive. Everything he said was right, and it dawned on you that for once the decision you were about to make had two genuinely good choices. Hakoda gifted you with that privilege. Either way, you would save his life and yours. Yet you knew that the new pathway presented to you would lead you something bigger, just like he said. You couldn’t take one of the few good things away from his kids.

Overcome with emotion, you hugged him. “Thank you. We’ll do it. You need to stay.”

He hugged you back as you began to cry.

***

After spending the remainder of the night stuffing your face in the kitchens, you didn’t go back to sleep and started to train with whoever was willing until it was time to hear of your next target. By no means were you looking forward to it, but you were ready to distance yourself from the last mission as it regularly filled your mind.

I wonder if he actually put Bato in charge and stood down? Stop thinking about it y/n. It doesn’t matter anymore; you’ll never have to see him again.

As the sun started to disappear into the Fire Nations skyline, you headed for the throne room knowing you shouldn’t keep Ozai waiting.

I can’t wait to see the show he has prepared for me. I wonder how dark he tried to make the lighting this time. Ooo! Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get 20-foot flames! Then I won’t have to see his ugly beard.

Entering the room and bowing before him, you fought back a snicker as it truly felt like the room seemed darker than usual.

“Y/n, you have come a long way from being a traitor and prisoner to the Nation to one of the most valuable assets. Your next task will be the ultimate test of your loyalty to me. I have trusted and sent my daughter Azula on a mission to bring back my traitor of a brother, and my failure of a son.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Azula was no stranger to riling you up whenever you crossed paths over her brother, and you were well aware of the encounters he had with the Avatar. But not once were you brought into the dysfunctions of their family. Now all of a sudden you were formally addressed by Ozai who was mentioning these events to you? It made you hyper-aware of the scars that stretched along your left side. The only personal connection you had with Zuko.

“While she undoubtedly has my complete trust, and I do not doubt her abilities, she lacks experience. Azula does not have the knowledge of the world, and fighting styles from the other nations like you do. For that, I am entrusting you to take care of the collateral damage. If things are to go wrong, if she is faced with a circumstance hindering her ability to do her task, it is your job to finish it. Even if that means harm must come to her, the mission is the utmost priority. Should you fail, do not underestimate the consequences you’ll face if you ever step back into the Nation.”

In your best attempt to keep your composure, you replied in a cool but firm tone. “Of course, my Fire Lord.”

“Good. You leave at dawn and do not return until my daughter succeeds.”

Bowing in acknowledgement, you began to leave. But you quickly halt your movements as you hear his voice again.

“One last thing y/n. Azula is not to know that you are tracking her at any stage during her mission. You are to distance yourself, only intervening when there is no other option.”

You bow for the last time. “You have my word.”

Making your way to prepare supplies for your journey, you fight the urge to curse out the entire royal family throughout the halls.

Babysitting duty. I was tortured for eight fucking months. Trained to boredom by Zemin’s brother, Piandao, for one month, and some knock-off fire bending master for a week because he didn’t know how to control me, and went gallivanting across the nations to fake assassinations. Not only that but also assist them in making new lives for themselves, FOR BABYSITTING DUTY! ALL BECAUSE HIS SPOILED, SOCIOPATHIC DAUGHTER WITH AN SUPERIORITY COMPLEX ISN’T EXPERIENCED ENOUGH?!

In your silent rage, you make it back to your room trying to reason with yourself that you shouldn’t kill Azula the second you both cross the Fire Nation boarders.

A/N: so…. Did I have y’all in the first half? LMAO AHAHHA.

Also I really thought I was going to have the gaang in this one #fool (oopsies) I really didn’t think the hakoda portion would consume so much of the chapter :/ BUT!! They’re definitely in the next one

Thanks for reading though! On the bright side I’m (finally) on my mid-semester break!!! Woohoo! I’m so excited to wrap up this semester wowies (uni has been kicking my butt),, but this does mean I’ll have more time to write so you guys might get a chapter earlier than normal 😊 Anyway, as normal feel free to message me or leave a comment!

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[holylulusworld]

A different kind of homecoming

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, former Skinny!Steve x Reader, Steve x Peggy (kinda), Bucky Barnes x Reader

Characters: Howling Commando (mentioned)

Warnings: angst, unrequited love, sadness, mentions of Hydra experiments, comforting, a hint of fluff

A/N: Y/S/N = Your sisters name

Dividers by @writeyourmindaway​

1944

Homecoming. That is the only thing on your mind. Steve is coming home, along with Bucky and his new friends. You heard about Steve’s days with the Howling Commando, heard he turned into a hero – though to you he always was a hero to you.

The small boy fighting a taller guy to defend your honor. The brave boy telling you he wants to join forces to defend his country. The boy telling you are the prettiest girl he ever saw.

“Y/N,” Bucky smirks before he grabs your waist to lift you easily. “Look at our best girl. All grown and even prettier than I remember.”

“Buck, let me down,” giggling you fight Bucky’s hands. “Do not ruin my outfit or I can’t show Steve my new dress.”

“I am jealous, doll,” Bucky carefully places you onto your feet, pecking your check. “I’ve missed my friend, sweetheart.”

“I’ve missed you too Buck,” it is true, you missed both men. But you missed Steve more. It is not that you like Bucky less, it is just Steve holds your heart differently.

“Y/N, is that you?” Your heart flutters hearing Steve’s voice, even though, it is deeper now. 

“Stevie!” You turn around, looking down to meet Steve’s eyes only to look at a firm chest. Slowly you lift your head to meet familiar eyes, and lips, anything else looks different. “Is that you Steve? What happened to you?” Unlike all other girls, your heart sinks seeing Steve turned into a super-soldier. “Where is my friend?”

“Doll, stop joking,” Steve holds out his hand like you are a stranger and you look at his hand, wondering why he doesn’t kiss your cheek and hug you like he used to do. “I just grew a little.”

“Steven?” A female voice calls your friend's name and your heart sinks. “Don’t you want to introduce me?” The woman holds out her hand and you shake it, giving her your name. You must admit, she is breathtakingly beautiful and seems to be one of those self-confident women you always admired.

“Grew a little, I get it,” your heart drops to the ground, shatters into pieces seeing the look on Steve’s face when he watches Peggy talk to one of his friends from the Howling Commando. “I don’t want to keep you busy, Stevie.” You step away, pushing the tears away. “We see each other later, or not.” Fleeing toward the table your sister reserved you ignore Bucky calls your name.

“Doll, Y/N,” Bucky follows you toward the table, placing one hand onto your shoulder. “I am sorry. I wanted to warn you, but it was too late.”

“Warn me, Buck. Why? As the Stevie I knew is gone and got replaced by a model type who is more interested in that new woman over there. He didn’t even notice my hair is longer or that I wore make-up for the first time, only for him.”

“How about you tell me about life, your sisters’ baby, and anything else?” You nod, giving Bucky a cracked smile while you watch Steve talk to Peggy, the new girl in his life…

2014

He runs. Lungs burning, chest aching Steve tries to catch up with the winter soldier, or rather his friend Bucky. It is still surreal to him his friend is still alive. For years, he believed Bucky died on that train.

Now he runs after a man claiming not to know him anymore. “Bucky, wait.” Steve tries to grasp for his friend, but the winter soldier speeds up to reach a motorcycle he hid. “Buck, you know me…”

“…” The man Steve called his best friend turns around, but his eyes are not the ones he used to know.

Still ocean blue but empty those orbs search Steve’s face before the man turns around to jump on the bike, speeding off to leave a dumbfounded Steve behind.

“You know me, Buck…you know me…”

2016

Running up the staircase Steve calls his friend's name, tries anything to stop Bucky from running again.

“Buck, I know it wasn’t you who attacked the people. Please wait. I can help.”

For a moment Bucky looks over his shoulder but he shakes his head. “Can’t wait. Need to bring…” He stops talking instead he lunges forward to slam Steve to against the wall. “Stay away and stop following me.”

Bucky runs faster than ever to reach his apartment, to reach the only thing dear to him. Almost flying up the stairs he breaks through the door, looking around the apartment. “We are moving, now,” you nod, grabbing your backpack to follow Bucky.

“Where to?” You gasp watching Captain America, or rather your friend Steve burst through the door, slamming it shut behind him. “Steve?”

“Y/N,” Steve drops the shield to walk toward you. “How can you be here? I thought you died in that car accident along with your sister.” He is gently touching your cheek, eyes landing on the scar along your neck. “What happened?”

“Hydra happened,” Bucky snorts, opening one of the windows to check if you can make it out of it without getting hurt. “After they captured me, they tried to break me. I refused. My only friend was undefeatable so…”

“They captured me,” you whisper, moving to Bucky’s side, to hide behind his back. “The winter soldier wasn’t cooperative, he tended to lash out. With me around he was calm.”

“Y/N, I…I am so sorry,” tears well-up to Steve’s eyes watching you flinch anytime he gets closer. The only person you trust seems to be his former best friend. “How did they find you?”

“One day, my sister said I shall forget about the boy I used to love. Y/S/N told me to find a nice guy, marry him and have a family. A man followed us and rammed my sisters car. He got me out before it blazed up.” Steve swallows the lump in his throat, watching you get an old picture out. “I kept it all those years, waiting for you to come back.”

“The ice…I crashed the plane to…” You shake your head, pointing toward the date on the picture. It’s the last one you took before Steve changed and became the man he is now. “I don’t understand.”

“I waited for you until you came home, with that woman by your side, Stevie. I was waiting for my skinny friend who held my heart, but he never came back to me. Instead, he was in love with someone else,” Bucky grabs your backpack, jerking his head toward the window.

“Y/N, I did not know you loved me. I loved you too but was too afraid you would reject me,” Steve tries to get closer, but you shake your head, holding onto Bucky for dear life. “What did they do to you?”

“I am not strong like you or James, but they did something to make me live longer. They did not want me to fight back. If they would have manipulated my mind, the winter soldier could have lashed out again. He wanted me, not a robot.” You wrap your arms around Bucky’s waist, leaning your head against his back. “He protected me, Stevie. For over seventy years the winter soldier protected me.”

“We got to go, doll,” Bucky orders and you obey. “Let us try the window before the guys following Steve get hold of us. We barely escaped Hydra.”

“I am sorry, Buck. Please let me help,” Steve looks out of the window, forming a plan. “Can you throw her?”

“You want to throw me out of the window?” Panicked you watch Steve walk backward, taking deep breaths before he jumps out of the window to reach the building opposite your apartment.

“Trust me, Y/N,” Bucky pecks your lips before he throws your backpack at Steve, followed by his luggage. “You are not heavier than my backpack,” you nod, trusting Bucky with your life. “The building is lower, doll. I can throw you and Steve will catch you.”

“I trust you, always did, Buck…”

“This should be safe for now. It is a safe house Shield never used. Natasha helped me to erase any trace of its existence from the server.” You nod, reluctantly looking around the cozy cabin. “I will make sure no one gets hold of you or Bucky.”

“He wasn’t himself, Stevie. What they did,” you sniffle, watching Bucky carry firewood into the cabin. “Bucky is not that person any longer. They used him.”

“I’ll do anything to help you…both,” Steve swallows the lump forming in his throat when he must watch you lean into Bucky’s touch.

He understands after all you have been through with Bucky that only his best friend can be the man by your side.

“Steve,” running after Steve you grasp for his arm. “I…I am sorry. I did not know you felt the same. I became jealous and just left and never answered one of your letters.”

“It’s fine, Y/N. You and Buck belong together,” Steve hates his voice cracks. Finding you alive after all those years of missing you only to find out you are with his best friend breaks his heart, but he cannot show it. 

“Seventy years, Steve,” you meet Steve’s sad eyes, grasping for his hand. “You don’t know what they did to him, still, he protected me. Bucky was this monster they created but there was this tiny part knowing me. I…I love him….”

“I know, doll,” gently cupping your cheek Steve presses a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. “How could you not love that man? I am glad he had you.”

“Steve, I never forgot about you either. Once in a while, I wondered if you are still out there,” you peck his cheek, letting your touch linger for a moment. “I hope, one day, you find someone holding your heart too…”

Steve must watch you walk back into the house, greeted by Bucky who slings his arms protectively around you. He watches his friend, giving Steve a curt nod.

“If only I told you how I felt, doll…” Steve turns around, walking away to make sure no one will ever hurt you or his friend again…

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#A different kind of homecoming #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #angst #unrequited love #request fill

[sourbat]

Here’s a quick little ficlet where Skwisgaar and Toki discuss the proper treatment and training of yard wolves, and Skwisgaar learning that he isn’t the most reliable pack member of the group.

Rating: General

Warnings: references to “Bookklok” and implied trauma

Read it on Ao3

or just “read more” below :D

A yard wolf mother died at the hands of a stray bullet, leaving behind five young pups. Though Offdensen was a staunch believer of the old saying “survival of the fittest,” Skwisgaar took it upon himself to help raise and socialize the orphans until they were old enough for proper training. There were no complaints amongst the band, and the first few weeks of mostly nursing and playing went by smoothly. Then, during one afternoon, Skwisgaar got wise to a wily pup who was busy attacking and biting his sister’s ear into a bloody pulp.

Skwisgaar silently observed the scene, the larger male nipping and taking advantage of his submissive companion. While some might regard the aggressive behavior as a positive trait, Skwisgaar focused entirely on the female’s obvious signs of displeasure, and the male ignoring her pleas in favor of a quick power high. Carefully and swiftly, Skwisgaar swooped in and grabbed the pup by the snout. With his thumb and forefinger, he closed the tiny jaw shut, then rolled the upset thing onto his back where it tried to wriggle free. Aware of the continued defiance, Skwisgaar applied some weight and forced the pup into place.

As it whimpered and fought to be free of its new submissive position, Toki took interest and broke from the gang’s activities to check on Skwisgaar.

“You ams hurtings him,” he quietly suggested, as if ashamed for even bringing up the issue, or out of fear that the other members of Dethklok might notice their lead guitarist’s less than acceptable behavior.

“Just stoppins him from biting withouts permissions,” Skwisgaar replied while keeping his hold. “Ams more humiliatinks than anytinks else.”

“Nots very nice,” Toki remarked, sounding more offended than the pup.

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. “Sometimes ams not abouts be-inks nice.”

Below, the young wolf’s tail began to vigorously sway, as though it were nervously considering this act by his foster a game. Perhaps he saw Toki and figured he might be saved from the awkward predicament.

Skwisgaar refused to budge. He stared the dog down, eyes chasing and locking with the pups’ whenever it so much as tried to whimper and cry in Toki’s direction. Eventually, after Toki joined the sounds of complaints, the puppy emitted another soft plea, and then went limp.

Toki’s shadow fretted above, finger pulling at the other as Skwisgaar counted down before finally breaking from his fierce glower and hold.

“He doesn’t likes it,” he heard Toki comment.

“He needs to learn to controls himself, Tokis,” Skwisgaar calmly insisted.

He watched the small wolf turn limp and submissive, and finally released his grip. As he had hoped, the pup remained fixed in place, wild amber eyes locked onto Skwisgaar and awaiting permission to crawl back and join his pack mates. Satisfied, he smiled, and backed from the puppy, letting Toki observe the small beast quickly recover and scamper off, tucked tail already lifting the moment he was out of grabbing range.

When Skwisgaar turned, he saw Toki retracting awkwardly before providing an overenthusiastic nod. His eyes, however, were very much on litter, and when Skwisgaar tried to invite Toki close with a smile, earned a slightly dismayed pout instead. He brought a hand to his dusty elbow, rubbing it consciously as Skwisgaar made yet another glance at the pups.

He couldn’t guess what irked Toki so much, so he asked, “Thinks I hurts his snouts?”

Toki’s face hardened. “Thinks you hurts his feelinks when you humiliatics him.”

Skwisgaar found the suggestion amusing, but refrained from being nasty. It would be easy to poke fun at how his rhythm guitarist applied human thoughts and feelings to that of a beast. And was Toki so hurt because he felt sorry for the pup? Did he not witness the damage the young wolf caused?

“It ams better to have his feelinks hurt now,” Skwisgaar stated firmly, “otherwise, he will gets reckless and gets his pack hurts.” He stared at Toki, then turned to watch the pup return to his sister to lick the wounds he had caused. “Sometimes we needs to be hard on the ones we cares about, Tokis. We needs them to be betters,  understands?”

Toki’s head sank. He looked doubtful. Skwisgaar didn’t hold it against him. It was so easy to focus on the present, on immediate pleasures and momentary, fanciful whims. That was all Toki knew. He lived in a world of luxury. It seemed cruel to forcibly keep a pup’s mouth shut, glare at it while teaching it to submit. But it was for a greater cause. The pup attacked a member of his pack. Maybe to Toki, it was nothing more than an accident, but in the grander scheme of things, such rebellious acts would get in the way of the pack’s wellbeing.

A light clicked. It occurred to Skwisgaar why Toki would feel bad for a disobedient pack member. Toki likely saw himself in the animal: reckless, thoughtless and desperate for control. Skwisgaar couldn’t count the times he had to put Toki in his place, remind him who was the lead guitarist, or pull him out of some ridiculous situation that he’d gotten himself into. The rhythm guitarist who wanted more creative control, but couldn’t be bothered to practice more or offer any input during recording. Toki saw himself in that male wolf and empathized with his terrible blunder, reliving those embarrassing times Skwisgaar caught him woefully unprepared.

“Don’ts worry,” Skwisgaar said. He stood up and continued to watch the small litter return to their play. “He wills be okays. He wills…gets over it.”

It sounded far crueler than intended, but there was no going back from it. Skwisgaar didn’t see any reason to, and began readjusting his guitar strap.

“Did you “gets over it” when I humiliatics you?”

The question struck like a hard blow to the gut, mentally upper-cutting an unsuspecting Skwisgaar and leaving him hopelessly at a loss for words.

“No,” Skwisgaar finally managed once most of the memories of the event had subsided. “But dat ams–”

His first inclination was to point out the difference between the two; however, after reliving those traumatic few weeks once more, Skwisgaar withheld from concluding his thoughts.

Though a memory now, the reminder proved its weight and pushed all the air out of him in the form of a heavy, uneven sigh. His composure teetered, and although they were out in the private haven that was Mordhaus’ fields, Skwisgaar avoided Toki and the band in the far distance to hide his immediate reaction. Shaken and misty-eyed, Skwisgaar faced the small collection of wolf pups and homed in on the young male he had disciplined in front of Toki.

Skwisgaar didn’t think he resembled the older male. True, he’d been hard on Toki in the past, and made their shared rehearsals difficult, but that was only because he had high standards.

The pervasive thought lingered, festering the longer Skwisgaar had his sights on the animal. Standards or not, Skwisgaar knew there was more to him berating Toki than he let on. It was years of mediocrity, of performing well below his skill in bands that didn’t go anywhere, of going from band to band, from teacher to teacher, of being told by his last  lead guitarist that his creative input wasn’t wanted, and–

And following that, years of his insecurities and obsessive compulsive desire to stay on top quashing any hope for Toki to step outside his shadow, lest Skwisgaar repeat the cycle again. And where did that get him? A spot in the New York’s Times best sellers, and for all the wrong reasons. Things between the two had gotten better since the books were pulled, but Skwisgaar couldn’t deny that it still haunted him.

All because he couldn’t bear the thought of supporting Toki and letting him play a solo in front of an adoring crowd.

Skwisgaar faced Toki. Nervous, and still recovering from the memories, he grappled the neck of his guitar, letting the strings underneath his grip scrape into him.

“Skwisgaars?” Toki neared, taking him by the arm. “Ams sorry. Didn’t’s means to brings–”

“I learneds my lesson. And…” Skwisgaar stared hard at the ground. It didn’t stop the heat from rising out his face, the pain from constricting his throat. Toki tugged his arm. Slowly, Skwisgaar lifted his head, the hurt in his eyes uninhibited and blaring. “Tokis…I dids not like it whens you humiliatics me.”

Toki shriveled before him. “Skwisgaar, I ams so sorries.”

“Ams ok. I shoulds hab knowns better,” he said, tearing his hands from his guitar to stop Toki from shrinking any further. He fought past the stings of his wounded pride and misguided anger, and faced the bitter truth as best he could. Again, staring at the earth did little to help stave away the pain, but this time Skwisgaar had Toki by his side. Toki was still shaken, but it seemed he knew they both needed some help keeping things together.

With the other’s help, they walked to a nearby and empty table, the litter of pups and a few klokateers trailing not too far behind.

“I should habs been a better members of the packs and lets you plays a solo.” Skwisgaar sighed, eyes rifting from the wolves to his guitar. He had half the mind to play. Something to distract from the pain. With Toki waiting and calming down in front of him, he broke habit and clasped his hands together.

“I will also tries to finds a different ways to train the yard wolves,” he added, feeling the pangs of guilt and tarnished ego subside once Toki’s expression eased into acceptance.

“Okays.”

They made a glance at the pups in the distance. Skwisgaar watched the male he had punished stop and stare at him, then returned to his chase. Amongst the yips and barks, he spotted the quiet female at the edge of the pack, her bloodied ear now drying. Skwisgaar knew he’d have to make it right on her behalf, fix her ear and teach her to defend herself if she was to survive training.

Consequently, he owed Toki the same opportunity for success.  

Skwisgaar drew a finger, and let it glide along one of his strings. As it vibrated a silent note, he willed the courage to face Toki and add, “And…if you gets over freezinks ups, I will gives you solos the next time we plays.”

Toki’s eyes practically glowed. “You means it?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Ja. What ams teams-mates for?” Skwisgaar said. He wanted to tack on more, go as far to suggest that he’d try to help Toki face a demanding crowd, but refrained. A history of bad music lessons and bullying, not to mention the remaining members of the band picking up on the fact they’d been away for so long, kept Skwisgaar going too far from his comfort zone. But that didnt mean the idea was off the table. Once he picked up a new method of training, and Toki had proof he wasn’t going to go back on his word, he’d mention the idea.

If he was worthy enough, Toki would accept him as an instructor.

“Thanks you, Skwisgaars!” The embrace arrived quicker than Skwisgaar could defend himself from. Still sitting, his guitar pressed into his chest, and Skwisgaar wheezed a slight gasp while Toki gratefully squeezed the life from him. “I promise Toki will do betters.”

“Ams fine. Just promise not to tells the others I gots… emoskinals.”

Toki broke into a little chuckle, then let go of Skwisgaar. Murderface called for Toki to return to the table and roll the die, and finish his turn. He raced ahead of Skwisgaar, leaving him to the purple glades and perpetual mist that accompanied the fields, but not before sending a final, optimistic glance at his lead. Skwisgaar watched it come and go, like so many others, but couldn’t shake the feeling that this time Toki was going to uphold this promise.

A sharp cry pulled Skwisgaar away from the table, and to two of the young yard wolves fighting and causing quite the stir amongst the litter.

Only times will tells, Skwisgaar thought, then set out into the fog to return to the wolves.

#skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #metalocalypse #fanfic #betaing this was a mess #exploring skwis is hard #let me knowwhat yall think #i wanna include him more