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#yeah yeah whatever they are not physically affection but genuinely how many times are we gonna have this argument? how many times are u
p4nishers · 10 months
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idk how many times i can say this but: it CANNOT BE QUEERBAIT IF THE CHARACTERS ARE QUEER!!! please stop this "i saw the leak and im worried it still might be queerbait" ????? HOW ??? they're both NON BINARY!! HOW can it be queerbait if they're, in canon, genderless beings?? SHUT TF UP EVERYONE PLEASE
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mogai-sunflowers · 11 months
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y'know, i've been visiting your account for awhile.. and this isn't limited to your most recent post: if you're struggling that much with your weight and it feeling like a "gut punch" in regards to your transition and how it likely won't be available, try exercising, doing runs, going to the gym and going on a diet? it's not easy at all, it's harder than it should be, especially with your present disorders, which will difficult your path all the way through: but it def will help, even if just a little bit. you've got to try, or atleast attempt yourself doing it. ik it's kinda repetitive knowning that somebody has (probably) already told you this, but believe me— it's worth it. this world also doesn't care for anyone who is genuinely fat, which doesn't necessarily mean you should lose weight for that- it just means that the world is unfair and even the biggest differences affect everything/nothing. promotion in positivity towards individuals of these sizes will be ever so slightly affective, especially towards those whose health is at risk (for their eating methods). i'm just worried abt you, sorry if this seems disrespectful. i genuinely hope you get better, sending my love to you. ❤
hey anon, i'm not particularly upset with you because i can tell how genuine this was and believe me, i do appreciate deeply how you care.
that being said, it's generally pretty disrespectful to tell someone to do those things to lose weight, for whatever reason, especially when they're in the middle of a mental health crisis. i'm not saying this to make you feel bad, just saying that i and many others don't particularly appreciate being told these kinds of things when we already feel bad about our bodies.
for me personally, all of the things you mentioned are not feasible for me for many different reasons. i can't do most, if any, diets, because I have really bad ARFID due to my autism, so most of my diet is literally the only foods i can eat without constantly throwing up. i can't eat most vegetables for that reason, and i also tend to get very anxious with diets because they feel restrictive, which is actually the number one trigger for my binging episodes.
i cannot drive most places because i get too overstimulated on the road that it's legitimately dangerous for me to be doing so, so i can't drive myself to a gym, because the nearest gym to me is only accessible via highway, and i have inner ear issues so i get carsick at highway speeds so wouldn't be able to drive myself there. additionally, my executive dysfunction is so debilitating that many days, it can feel like climbing Mt. Everest just to make myself a bowl of cereal- working out is about 100 times harder than that on my executive dysfunction- and that's not even getting into how workouts make you sweat a lot, and I have really bad sensory issues with getting sweaty (and can't really shower on my own, which would pretty much be required after every work out)
i also very likely have an undiagnosed physical disability, because i cannot stand or walk longer than 10-15 minutes without my entire body hurting like hell, so consistent runs and exercise would be quite difficult for me.
i know there's no way you could have known any of those personal details about me, so i'm not in any way faulting you for that. but they're my reality and i have to live with the reality that almost all conventional modes of weight loss are not an option for me. my best bet is to stick to my current personal eating disorder recovery plan which has actually been a blessing, and work harder than ever on accepting who i am without having to change myself to do so. i won't lie, it's a steep uphill battle. but i actually have many more good days with my body image than i do bad ones, so that keeps my hopes up most of the time.
so yeah, for future reference, it's a bit insensitive to give fat people unsolicited weight loss tips, especially if they're in times of crisis (believe me, i've heard enough of those tips from doctors who never even bothered to ask my opinion /lighthearted). but i do truly appreciate your caring and hope you have a great day /genuine
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septembersghost · 2 years
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yeah I think a lot of it is this fixation on wanting her to be something she isn't and then getting mad at her for not being that whatever it is. she's not an insta baddie bitch and she never has been. now she's thriving and proving she can still create art when she is happy and healthy, and since she isn't providing them drama they're making it up and saying her lived experiences aren't real
they want her to be a lot of things she isn't and some seem to look down on the things that she is, despite her consistency. (the lying accusations make me super uncomfortable considering the immense trauma she went through after wrongly being called a liar, and people celebrating her downfall and making murals of her "death"...? idk is this coming from people who didn't live through how terrible that was in 2016? make it make sense.) she's always been enthusiastic, she's always been a romantic, she's always been someone who's earnest and feels things deeply, and during the time when she was more cynical and understandably barbed in her outlook, she was suffering and unwell. that projected image of perfection and shininess took a measurable toll on her physically and mentally. where she is now is healthy and genuine, and i can only imagine the strength it took to get there. i think a lot about her mentioning at tiny desk in 2019 that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to write when she was happy, and how thrilled she was to discover that wasn't the case, and that we need to deconstruct the idea that art and creation can only come from pain. obviously more intense grief followed her saying that in regards to her masters, but even with folklore/evermore she was proving that artistic expression and a real flourishing of creativity can come from many different places, the light and the dark. it's taken her a long time to process that - she's still learning it and working through it, it's evident with everything she's said and done for red tv, and that's very human, we all keep unpacking and reshaping things as we grow. it's wild to me that rather than appreciating the fact that she did go through and experience these things, and did have those tumultuous emotions (which in many ways are just 20-something feelings) that there's anyone intent on doubting her? her situation may be heightened due to the fame and glare of it all, but she's a person! the relationships she's had may have been unfairly splashed in the media, but they are all between human beings. (and the pervasive slut shaminess when her dating life was quite normal for someone her age, only in abnormal circumstances, is just...for what? because those men are famous too? okay, then where's the energy to drag them for their various high profile relationships? oh right, we reserve that for women. sigh.) they're not fictional characters, they're flesh and blood people alive in this world, dealing with their own issues and bringing their own unique outlooks and hearts and traits to everything they do. privilege and celebrity certainly affects and changes their lives, but it doesn't make someone not a person. she has her ups and downs through it, her loves and her losses. that's all still a part of her. idk why anyone's making this more difficult by doubting her veracity. she's a confessional/diaristic singer-songwriter. she has been that since she was a teenager, it's what she does. she's said many times that if she couldn't write, she wouldn't sing. the writing is imperative because it's uniquely hers. a huge part of WHY she's working this hard and this meticulously to recreate six entire albums is because it's quite literally her life story, her words, her emotions, her perspectives, and they belong to her. the least we can do is respect what she shares with us on that journey.
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seokjinsonlyone · 3 years
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this what i think bts love language is
a/n: this just my thoughts besties i ain’t do no formal type of research or nun just let my lil imagination sprint 🥸🤪
namjoon:
physical affection/words of affirmation
okay so i said physical affection for one bc like he seem to like initiate contact with people around him a lot
like in interviews he be having his hand on whoever next to him thigh or like when he be performing if it’s someone next to him he throws his arms around them a lot
not to mention like whenever jimin or jk or whoever start feeling up on him he never rejects it or makes a face or anything like yoongi does he just accepts it
like there’s so many stage clips where jimin will come and rest his chin on joon’s shoulder and he just lets him
or jk will just start touching on him some way grabbing his arms or sumn and it doesn’t phase him at all
another example is like on day 2 of sowoozoo when tae randomly came and linked arms with him and hobi during mikrokosmos hobi was like 🥴🥴 but joon was just 😌
and then there was that magic shop muster moment when jk was talking about how much he loved joon and how he was his beginning you know as president of the joon fan club does and namjoon couldn’t help but to go over and give his number one admirer a hug you know the moment
same thing with compliments he lowkey be eating them up
like you know how whenever hobi gets complimented he be like “😶 don’t say those things” joon don’t do that
like when they was asked to take their jackets off during the butter shoot and namjoon was like yeah okay and everyone started hyping him up and he was just 💁🏼‍♂️😜
and again on day 2 sowoozoo when he pushed his hair back from his forehead and everyone went OHHHHHSWJJSJS SEXY NAMJOON and then he decided to murder us all by tilting his head back on top of that adding insult to injury i would insert the picture but for my mental health i will not
and again whenever they talk about him being such a great leader he never shies away from it doesn’t cringe always accepts it so you know it must mean a lot for him to hear those things
aside from that tho he’s such a poetic person
like he is definitely involved in an intimate affair with language so there’s no way he wouldn’t appreciate you verbally telling him how he makes you feel
like just think about how many times he’s said he wants to sit down with each army and listen to their story
that being said if this was your man i think you’d definitely have to both show and tell him how you feel
like if he was about to head out for work you definitely got to kiss him before he leaves
and if you on the phone with him the last words you’re saying are i love you
and he’s definitely gonna cherish it each time always gonna have that cute little smile dimples caved in his cheeks bc you love him and he feels it
seokjin:
acts of service/words of affirmation
alright so ngl the reason i said acts of service for seokjin is like almost 100% based on his reaction to tae setting up that birthday event for him where he had his friends send him messages
he talked about it for WEEKS like he was genuinely so moved that i just like he has to love it
and then there’s like how much he bothers jk to like do simple stuff like i’m specifically thinking about that one moment in bon voyage 4 when he was sitting down at the table and called jk to help him up
and then there’s also little things he does for others like when he peeled tae’s tangerines for him or when he offered to feed yoongi bc he was driving or how he always offers bites of his food before even gets a chance to taste it
now i say words of affirmation bc he always searching for a compliment
my minds going to when jk hurt his foot and jin was pushing him in the wheelchair and kept feeding him lines to say about how he was such a good hyung and how he loves him
or in the behind the scenes for the boy with luv video and he kept tryna get tae to compliment him for being witty
and my boy never misses a chance to introduce himself as worldwide handsome
even though he does a lot of those things jokingly there are moments when he’s serious too about giving compliments and shy when he receives them like in those be interviews when he called jk a singing genius and jungkook was talking about how he had the most range and he got all ☺️☺️
or that moment from in the soop when he was comforting yoongi about like not having regrets and when yoongi told him he wanted to be like him just those kinds of moments let me know words are important to him
which just made me remember how hard he tries with his lyrics and how important they are to him like when he was writing awake and he talked about how he kept getting rejected but he was super insistent bc it was important for him to sing the words he wrote and don’t even get me started on moon i just-
anyway jin done said many times he is a man of the present so if you’re with him you gotta actively show/tell him
if you’re at the store pick him up some gummies
if you know he’s got a long day ahead of him maybe pack him some snacks to take with him in the morning
if his hair looks nice tell him
send him messages throughout the day even if he can’t respond immediately
he claims he’s a man of the present but whenever he takes a moment to reminisce the past he’ll look back and know just how much you care about him
yoongi:
quality time/acts of service
listen as much as this man loves spending time alone the time he spends with others means a lot to him
like how he always go fishing with jin even tho he ain’t particularly fond of it
or how like in in the soop he had made plans to play games with jimin and did so extensively
also from in the soop when he had spent most of his day outside reading but then he had heard everyone starting to make the theme song and immediately ran to get his equipment to record and what not
not to mention his poem from the end of that one run episode where they went on like a mini trip or whatever and he was like “what a relief that we have seven members. what a relief that we have each other.”
like being all together is important to him
like i just think about that one scene from one of they movies ion remember which one but they were all gathered around the table and it was when he had told them how he actually hurt his shoulder and they was talking about how they was worried about jk and how he need to come out his room and it’s not even the content of the scene but just like the fact that he ain’t have to be there but he was
and also can’t neglect to mention how he whined for y e a r s about how ain’t nobody come to visit him on set when he was filming the videos for his first mixtape like mans wouldn’t let that go and then how touched he was when they made appearances on his daechwita set even if he couldn’t express it properly
and how he begged for them to make cameos in the video and how happy he was when jin and jk did
and he doesn’t ever forget to mention whenever him and hobi hang out he’s like yeah we went for a drink and dinner and talked and blah blah
he loves it when people make an effort to be around him
now acts of service i got this all on a whim okay like… listen… we all been there we have all watched an ideal type video on youtube don’t lie okay
and up there it be like he want someone to bring him food in the studio and take care of him and stuff like that and in this case the math maths
you really can see that in how he treats others
like just the other day i saw a gifset somewhere and the boys were like yeah yoongi always takes care of us he don’t make eye contact tho
not to mention how he always cooks for them when they go on trips
and even though he ain’t give seokjin his song yet we know it’s coming! eventually!
and whenever they be ganging up on jungkook yoongi always the first one to be like “stooooppp you gon make him cry”
my baby just always be doing little things for others to show he cares okay 🥺
so if you got with my baby you gotta take care of him 🥺🥺🥺
he really needs someone that understands him bc he not gonna say anything
if you’re all hanging out together make sure you’re by his side so he knows you want to be there with him
if he’s busy stuck in his studio drop by even if you just end up laying on the couch he’s gonna appreciate you just being with him
and bring food my baby getting buff he need all the veggies and protein he can get
hoseok:
receiving gifts
i really had to think about this one but once i connected the dots yeah it makes total sense
like he looooves shopping loves getting stuff so when other people give him stuff i know he just 🥰🥰🥰
hobi lights up when he gets gifts they don’t always have to be big but i know he very much appreciates them
like how in the army corner store festa video when asked to bring something meaningful to them he brought those figurines which was the first gift a fan gifted him
which makes me think about how those limited edition figurines dropped and hobi was like i need to get one for namjoon and then namjoon was like i need to get one for hobi and so they ended up with like two of them or something like that
also from festa in the little photo booth mission every time he won a prize he was like yaaasss omg and was thinking of ways to put it to use like when he got that picture frame he immediately stuck them film strips in it he probably got it hanging in his room or in his studio by now tbh
and i think it was on the canada run bts episode where jk bought him those slippers and he was super happy
even when they were in hawaii and him and jin were hungry on the bus and he asked jin for gummies like ofc jin had to get on his nerves first but when he finally gave him his snacks he went from 😐 to 😚
or how he still has that change purse that namjoon bought him in malta (probably still got the money in there too tbh)
speaking of malta got me thinking about how tae went out of his way to win hobi that flamingo bc he said he’d never seen one and when tae gave it to him he went parading it around telling everyone that tae won it for him and then said he was gonna put it in his studio
and he got that chicken leg pillow they gave him from you quiz on the couch in his studio
and i think it was from the 2020 winter package he was so happy when jin bought him those ugly little troll elf things with the hat you know what i’m talking about
and he commented like three times when jungkook drew that picture of him for his birthday
and we know mans be giving gifts too
like how he got yoongi that coffee truck on the set of daechwita
and when they were on the speak yourself tour and he went out shopping on a day off and bought jin a sweater or something
and how he slaved through like 2 or 3 lives making bracelets for the members and then gave it to them on the bang bang con live
and the most devastating one of all when they had to give each other gifts i think it was on the run episode with all the water games but i could be wrong anyway and like most of them gave each other gag gifts like their merch or whatever but hobi gave jimin (and the rest of the members) a cd for his song promise it had a little photo book in it and everything 😭😭😭
so like whoever gets with this fine specimen gon have to throw a few dollars together to make sure this man is kept
not really i’m sure he doesn’t expect you to sell your car for a gucci peacoat or your soul for a rolex
but if you did decide to save up for some time to get him a little extravagant gift i know he’d more than appreciate it
more often than not though it’d be the little things that got to him like if you bought a simple t shirt from the store but then kinda like upcycled it drew little doodles on it wrote “i’m your hope” somewhere on it there would definitely be a picture uploaded of him on weverse or twitter wearing it
or if you decided to compile the pictures of you two together into a scrapbook or something he’d keep it somewhere accessible like in a drawer in his desk in his studio and flip through it with a little smile on his face when he’s missing you
and even if it was something even smaller than that like say he mentioned in passing that like idk he was out of eggs or something and you bought him some he just might marry you
jimin:
physical affection/quality time
the first thing that comes to mind with this for jimin is how he comforts his boys
like there’s so many behind the scenes clips from tour where like jk or tae will be upset with their performance and crying and jimin would be the one to come up behind them and hug them and wipe their tears
same concept for that one moment in bon voyage 3 when they told him that tae was crying and he just kinda hugged him and wiped his tears and hovered around him to make sure he was okay
or when they left hobi at the gas station in bon voyage 4 and then went back to pick him up he still hugged hobi even as he was laughing evilly
also in bon voyage 4 when they went on that helicopter tour and they was on the mountain and him and tae tackled each other and was rolling in the snow
and he is just like always in jk arms like he just jumps on him for no reason like in that video where lee hyun is acting as one of bts’ management
also in the behind from i think when they were practicing for the 2019 bbmas i believe at some point jungkook was holding that man spinning him in circles or sumn like that
and there’s also that one comeback show when him and tae were in the comic book cafe and they were just cuddled up together looking at tae’s phone practicing english i think
and on that one joon live when him and tae crashed and just caused a whole lot of commotion i’m pretty sure at one point they were cuddled on the couch and then jimin told tae his breath stinks and tae proceeded to open his mouth over the air purifier
anyway clearly he is a man with hands
but he also is someone who loves to spend time together it’s important to him
like i just think about how when they had their “break” back in 2019 he talked about how he just traveled the entire time and he went with various friends and family
and i’m pretty sure it was bon voyage 3 when they were doing their friendship trips and trying to make fresh pairings or whatever he was like i don’t think there’s any surprising pairing with me and it’s like… that’s true
like you got minimoni, minimini, jikook etc… all tried tested and true man gets around his band
and he’s the main one who’s always like “yeah bro we should live in the dorms until we’re 50”
and he always talks about how he can’t be alone and how he’s always gotta be doing something with someone
and his lives!!! his lives!!!! when he spends time with us it’s always so intimate and personable
like you can’t tell me that i ain’t have dinner with him and jin after a show in the hotel room and we drank off camera even after the staff told us we couldn’t 😤🤚
there’s also that time he went live and someone said they had some kind of condition and then he took it upon himself to look it up and try to find treatments
just liiiike whenever he goes live every minute counts bro and yes this is me trying to summon him bc we ain’t had a solo jimin live since october and i know they super busy but i miss 😓😓😓
so for this mans i just feel like you just gotta really be with him
just like he makes every second count you have to as well
like he’s gonna want to have your full attention and you’ll definitely have his he’ll be obsessed with you tbh
however he doesn’t always have the time and his schedule definitely isn’t the most accommodating so he’s gonna want someone to put in the effort
but as long as you make sure he knows you’re all in he’ll always meet you halfway
taehyung:
words of affirmation
now this one has been stated explicitly multiple times and he’s admitted it himself
specifically during let’s bts in their segment within the segment and namjoon was like taehyung the kind of person who grows from compliments
and i ain’t even got the right words to express how i feel about the smile he couldn’t help when hobi had them all tell tae that they like him
not to mention the story he told during the festa video last year about how he always tried his very best to get hobi to praise him and how disappointed he was when hobi didn’t get it
and i may be tripping but didn’t like earlier this year he didn’t post on weverse or twitter for like a month or so because he wanted to keep seeing us say how much we miss him???
and in bon voyage season 2 when they had to write letters to each other and he wrote his to jimin and then cried when he read it
there’s also a moment in bon voyage 4 when he and rm were about to sleep in the same space and he asked joon if he could cuddle him and joon was like 🥴🤚 how bout no and tae was like you do like me right? and rm was like yeah of course but let’s not cuddle bro
also in that weverse magazine interview they did he talked about how depressed he got when they weren’t able to perform and he only felt happy for a while when he was able to communicate with us
and in turn he’s very verbally supportive as well
like at that one fan sign they was talking about bon voyage and they asked army which season they liked better 1 or 2 and someone said 1 and taehyung was like “😐 now why would you say that bc namjoon won’t even in that” even though really it was only like 1 or 2 episodes he missed out on
and like he’s always hyping seokjin up like when they were doing the map of the soul 7 comeback live and jin was talking about how he wasn’t a good dancer and taehyung was like 😡 don’t say that bc it’s not true you’re good and you always been good
and in the let’s bts thing again it was important for him to let jimin know that he likes him best like they really are best friends y’all 😭
and when he talks about how much he loves suga’s raps
and that moment in the soop when he set up a date for him and jungkook to talk out whatever tension they had or whatever
and how during those individual be interviews he had hobi flustered when he complimented his passion for music
and he always be saying like the most comforting stuff on weverse letting army know he’s there as a source of comfort at all times even when he can’t be
like this man is literally the creator of borahae meaning that we’ll love and support each other for a long time
so if you get with tae communication is key!!!
you gotta tell him how you feel about him
if you’re out and about and see something that reminds you of him? tell him. if you like his hair that day? tell him. if he does something that pisses you off? tell him. if you miss him? tell him. if you love him? tell him.
like y’all gon talk about everything and nothing at all some days you’ll be discussing aliens and parallel universes other days you’ll be like discussing the future of your relationship
and ya know he a busy man so you not always gon be having long and drawn out heart to hearts so i think he’d love it if you just sent messages throughout the day something that let him know you were thinking of him even if it’s just a picture of a possum you chased down or if you spammed him with tiktoks you thought he’d like
he’d be looking at his phone like 🥰🤳 thinking about how much he loves you
jungkook:
physical affection
now this lil menace right here is touchy
always down for a cuddle
like on the canada episode of run when they were about to pick out rooms and he was like firmly latched onto hobi on the couch while they waited
and when they were practicing home for the magic shop muster and yoongi sat in the arm chair and immediately jk sat in his lap and tae sat in his lap
or how in in the soop after they were done eating he just went and latched onto jin’s back
and how tae had went to go wake jk up that one time and they ended up falling asleep
or how jk had went to wake up jimin that one time and they ended up falling asleep
there was just a lot of jk cuddles going on in in the soop so i’ll move on
let’s talk about the pool water debate run episode where in the end jk decided to latch onto jin’s back yet again
i’ll take this moment to mention the jinkook moment that lives in my head rent free for no valid reason it’s from the life goes on countdown video where they were reading the post cards and he was wearing that big pink sweatshirt and jin was wearing that pink and black bomber jacket and jk just grabbed jin’s arm and held onto it and played with it and when he was done he just threw it away i… i think about that moment a lot there’s an entire section in both my head and heart dedicated to that moment anyway continuing on
i’ll talk about that time they were backstage for a show and they had them blow up mattresses and suga was minding his business resting and jk just rolled up and moved his legs and laid beside him and then hobi decided to pile on top
and whenever they’re on stage he’s always the most delighted when joon would suggest a hug he’d be the first one over there nose scrunched up giggling he loves it
there’s also many instances in interviews and lives where he just can’t keep him hands to himself
just like that last butter live when tae ended up with a crown of forks thanks to mr kook
and he never misses an opportunity to feel up joon
which makes me remember that time he kissed namjoon on the forehead
and he is just always carrying jimin for some reason
so in conclusion… physical affection
and if he was your mans you’d be on the frontlines of receiving all he has to give
not necessarily in public or around a lot of people but in a space where you both were comfortable yes
you’d just have to accept that when you’re standing around he’s going to give you a shoulder/neck/back massage for no particular reason
and he will latch onto you in different positions for extended periods of time
and you gotta do the same! like that’s your man! go give him a hug! a kiss! let him know you love him
cuddle up to him while y’all chilling watching tv
hold his hand while y’all talking
just like grab onto him and never let him go
he’ll be hoping you don’t
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etherrreal · 3 years
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“when you pass out at practice”
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Pairing: tsukishima x reader ; kyotani x reader ; aone x reader Genre: comfort-fluff ; drabbles & headcanons Summary: the reader hasn’t been taking care of herself which leads to her passing out at practice  Word Count: 2295 Warnings: fainting, or passing out, from sleep deprivation/not eating/heat exhaustion, some explicit language because i’m an adult A/N: thanks for the fun request! i took a little bit of artistic liberties with the scenario to keep it from being so repetitive so I hope you don’t mind! -Luna
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it was rare that you had a beautiful sunny day on a weekend with no chores to attend to or work to complete
so when your boyfriend Tsukishima texted you and asked you to come join him for casual volleyball practice outside, you decided to take him up on that opportunity
however, not even a cap and some cold water could stave off heat exhaustion
Despite it being 95°F and so humid that the air feels thick when you breathe, it is a beautiful day outside. The sky is completely clear of clouds; the sun is shining directly on you as you, your boyfriend, and Yamaguchi head out to practice at the open field nearby Karasuno. The change of scenery was refreshing and even with it feeling just as hot as it usually does inside the school gym, the occasional breeze and lack of sweaty stench was a huge welcomed change. 
There’s very little shade provided by the trees, but you lay out a small blanket under the nearest one anyway. You become the bag and bottle keeper when Tsukishima and Yamaguchi hand you their items, your boyfriend dropping it haphazardly onto the blanket while Yamaguchi delicately places it down with a ‘thank you.’ 
You usually don’t get to see Tsukishima practice, seeing as his normal practices run until the dead of night, so it was fun watching them set and serve the ball back and forth. When the occasional ball lands by your feet, you get the chance to enjoy setting it back to them, even if it often falls short or misses the target completely. 
“Thank god you’re not on our team,” Tsukishima teases, as he watches the ball you set fall 6 feet away from him.
“Yeah, because I’d kick your ass. I know I’m a threat, and you should fear me,” you retort sarcastically. Before he turns away to retrieve the ball, you see him crack a small smile at your tomfoolery. 
However, after a few hours of getting up and down repeatedly to send the balls back under the beating sun, your head starts to pound. Your body is radiating so much heat it makes you want to remove your skin. You know it’s just a matter of time before you start feeling physically ill, as well. You loosen your cap and drink some cold water in hopes that it will relieve some of the tension, but you just feel the same.
You decide to lay down on the blanket, cap laid over your face to block out the sun. You don’t know if you passed out or if you simply tuned out everything around you for a bit, but you jump when you suddenly feel something wet and cold touching your neck.
You reach up to swat it away, thinking it was a bug when you hear Tsukishima’s voice. “Stop that. I’m trying to help you, dummy.” 
Relief washed over you to know that it wasn’t a beetle crawling up your neck but instead your stoic boyfriend pressing his plastic water bottle there to cool you down.
“Yamaguchi thought you died,” he brought up suddenly. “He actually ran to the store to get some more water after I told him to stop overreacting.”
You chuckle, picturing Yamaguchi already mourning over your body just because you were lying down with a cap over your face. “It’s sweet that he cares though, in his own weird way.”
Suddenly, the sky and Tsukishima’s crouching figure are in full view as he flicks the hat off of your face, feeling annoyed that you praised his friend and not him. “What do you think I’m doing, huh?” 
“Aww, do you want me to tell you how you’re the bestest, sweetest, most handsome boyfriend I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, and that I’m so grateful that you’ve graced me with your help?” you whine in a sarcastic tone, making grabby hands at the tall blond hovering over you.
He slaps your hands away, knowing that if you get your hands on him, you’d squeeze his cheeks and ruffle his hair like you always do. “Well, that’s the last time I ever take care of you.” 
You know he doesn’t mean it and that, if you were ever in some form of peril, he would casually stroll rush to your rescue to make sure you’re okay. You hope that when you look up at him he can see how much you appreciate his efforts.
“Thank you, Kei,” you say sincerely.
“Yeah, whatever.” He sounds dismissive, but you can tell by the scrunched eyebrows and soft look in his eyes as he gazes down at you how much he worries about your well-being, and you’re genuinely grateful to have him be your unofficial nurse. 
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you heard from some classmates that your math teacher was seen printing out math quizzes
*cue studious panic*
 you decided to completely skip lunch and use that time in the library to hit the books hard
your stomach was rumbling, your head was hurting, and your vision would become spotty if you stood up too quickly
you completed your quiz at the end of the day, but by then, you were starving and ready to get something to eat
in your panic, you forgot that you were supposed to meet kyotani after school so you could force him to go to practice that day (or else Iwaizumi would have your ass)
he heard your stomach make monstrous noises and when you let him know you hadn’t eaten, he looked more upset than usual to see you not taking care of yourself
“Let’s skip practice and get some food,” he suggests.
“What? So you can skip out on one of the few practices you go to? Absolutely not!” you reprimand.
“But you need to eat.”
“Look at you being a sweet boyfriend who cares,” you tease, watching him roll his eyes like he’s annoyed, but the pink hue dusting his cheeks says otherwise. “I’ll be fine. I should have an extra granola bar in my bag somewhere.” 
"Whatever, if you say so." He turns his body diagonally, a gesture you know means 'walk with me.' Kyotani has never been keen on PDA, but one thing you have noticed is that he prefers for you to walk directly by his side at all times. To others, it may look like he’s uninterested in you, but you can tell by how often his arm brushes yours that it’s his way of showing affection. 
You stroll across campus together, enjoying a quiet conversation with Kyotani about your day thus far. It doesn’t take long for you to reach the gym entrance, already hearing the balls slamming against the ground inside. You both switch out your shoes before walking in, him going to join his teammates and you finding a seat on the sidelines, seeing Iwaizumi give you a thumbs up for your job well done. 
You take a moment to search through your bag for that granola bar you mentioned earlier. After sifting through books, loose notes, and forgotten pencils and pens, you realize you have no snack to tide you over until the end of practice. 
The market is just down the road. I could probably go pick something up and be back quickly.
You wave Iwaizumi over, figuring you’ll tell him your plans while Kyotani is distracted so he won’t follow you out. You see his back turned to you as Oikawa speaks to the rest of the team, gesturing wildly with a volleyball in hand. 
As Iwaizumi gets closer, you stand up and immediately begin to sway. Your vision grows spotted, and your head feels like it’s floating. 
You hear Kyotani yell out your name before everything goes black.
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When you wake up, the lights are beaming overhead as you lay in some sort of bed. Once you’re coherent enough, you sit up, looking around to see that you’re in the school nurse’s office. You pick up your hand to hold your still aching head when you notice a very angry Kyotani attached to it, already glaring at you.
Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly, not quite knowing what to say after you just passed out in the middle of practice.
"I told you that we should've gotten something to eat," he starts, growling out each word.
You shrink into yourself, feeling embarrassed that you've upset him and couldn’t even take care of yourself properly. "I'm sorry, Kentaro.”
He notices you plucking the lint off your shirt to avoid direct eye contact with him. His eyes close as he collects himself, realizing that now’s not the time to lecture you for something you couldn’t have predicted.
He sighs, standing up slightly to lean over your slumped figure, laying a kiss on your temple. He mumbles a quiet apology against your skin, feeling bad for snapping at you when he should’ve been more kind. He’s working on that, slowly but surely.
“Let’s go get something to eat,” he says, holding your hand while you stand slowly from the bed. You wobble slightly, Kyotani quickly wrapping his arm around your waist to stabilize you. You give him a nod when you’re firmly on your two feet.
“From now on, if you’re hungry, tell me.”
You agreed reluctantly, not exactly wanting him to worry so much but knowing he wouldn’t let you leave without your compliance. 
From then on, he always makes sure to check on you to check if you've eaten or if you need one of the many granola bars he now carries, and while sometimes it's annoying to have him acting like a mother hen, it's also very heartwarming to know that he cares about you that much. Not to mention, he’s saved your ass many times when you have to study overtime for another intense math quiz. 
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the end of the semester was coming to a close and you were scrambling to get everything done on time
there weren't enough hours in the day to study for finals, finish projects, complete homework, and also take care of your human needs, like eating and sleeping
so, you just didn't sleep one night, opting to stay up with some caffeine to power through all of your work
at the beginning of the next day, you felt energetic and peppy, but as it went on, the sluggish feeling started to settle in
by the end, you were feeling absolutely exhausted and ready to drop at any moment
however, you still wanted to accompany Aone to practice that day, as it was your favorite part of your week
aone initially insisted that you head home without him, but he realized it might be safer to go with him after practice, just in case you fell asleep on the train
It feels like it takes ages, but eventually, practice begins to wind down, soreness seeping into each and every team member’s muscles after hours on their feet. A few of them are still practicing quick attacks with each other, but Aone is one more move away from passing out from exhaustion.
He walks over to you sitting on the sidelines, watching you take longer and longer between each blink. Yet, when he gets close enough, you still manage to give him a small smile that kicks his heart into overdrive, his face, no doubt, resembling a tomato because of the gesture.
He sits on the creaky folding chair beside you, taking gulps of his water to try to cool himself down. He almost chokes when he feels your head press up against his shoulder, hand resting on his forearm gently. Sitting still as a rock, he tries to take his mind off his cute partner cuddling up next to him.
"We should stop somewhere and pick up some food on the way to the train,” he suggests, doing his best to ignore the warmth filling his cheeks. “Do you want anything specific?"
You're silent beside him. At first, he thinks you're contemplating what to eat, seeing as you're very particular with your cravings. But when two minutes pass, and there's not even a peep from you, he looks down carefully to find you knocked out against his shoulder, face squished uncomfortably and mouth parting with each deep breath you take.
Aone never pictured this happening to him –mostly because he didn't think he'd ever have a partner who'd feel comfortable enough around him– so he didn't quite know where to go from here. He could wake you up to at least bring you home, but if this is the first time you've slept in over 24 hours, he didn't want to deprive you of more necessary sleep.
The only way Aone can think of bringing you home is to carry you all the way to the train station and... Well, that's as far as he manages to get, but future Aone will figure the rest out.
He asks Futakuchi to gather his things for him because he doesn't want to risk waking you. After some light teasing, he hands Aone his packed duffle and helps put on his jacket with minimal stirring from you.
Aone thanks his friend with a nod before turning to you and slipping his arms under you, one beneath your knees and the other behind your back. He freezes when you begin shifting around, but relaxes once you settle into him.
Aone waves at his team on the way out, with what movement he is allowed, and begins his trek to the train station nearby. 
His arms are aching after hours of practice, but it doesn’t matter, because you nuzzling into his neck with an adorable sigh gives him enough strength to carry you halfway across the country if he needs to. 
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Written by: Luna
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Text
Part Seven. Cooties, Discall, and Flirting
warnings: swearing, also I used the word “flirt” so many times it no longer holds meaning so beware word count: 4k 
behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
A/N: putting it up here this time!!!! i liked this chap so i hope you do too!!!!! if you didn’t see the missing dms from part 3 (which are now actually in part 3), bugsy agreed to a minecraft date with dream in exchange for karl touring her on his smp!! anyway, enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**********
The frosty air bit at Y/n's skin as she hurriedly shut the car door behind her, starting up her car in an attempt to find warmth as quickly as possible. "Why do I live here?" she asked through chattered teeth, causing Naomi to laugh.
"It's not that cold!"
"I don't know how you're okay with this."
"Do you want me to drive? You're so stiff you'll crash,” Naomi offered as she looked at Y/n.
"I'm fine, I just need to warm up for a second," Y/n assured as she rubbed her hands together in front of the heater.
Naomi giggled and took her hands, rubbing them to help heat them up.
"Thank you, ma'am."
"Now hurry up, I have a work meeting in like 30 minutes."
"What?" she gasped, quickly putting her gloves back on. "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have spent so much time looking at Christmas decorations!"
"I'm just kidding. But Karl will be mad if he has to wait for his food any longer."
"You're seriously the worst." She smacked Naomi's arm and started driving, much less panicked than a few moments prior.
"You love me."
"Whatever. How's your internship going by the way?"
Naomi sighed. "Good. It's really hard to be motivated to go since it's unpaid but it's the last thing I need to graduate so I have to do it."
"But you enjoy it, right? I mean it's what you want to do."
"Yeah, no, I love it. I just wish I was getting paid so I didn't have to work at the grocery store too. I wish I could get paid to play video games like you."
Y/n deflated slightly. She hated when people put it like that, it made her sound like it wasn't a real job but it was challenging in its own way. "I'll teach you how to pvp and you'll be on your way to the top."
"Maybe then I could actually meet George myself instead of waiting around for you to do it."
"Wait!" Y/n gasped. "Did I not... did I not tell you about the other night?"
"Uh... I guess not? What happened?"
Y/n squealed. "Dude! Make a Discord account right now. Get your phone out and make one."
"Why? What is that?"
"It's the thing we all use to voice call during streams and in private and stuff. Come on!" Y/n used her right hand to urge Naomi to grab her phone. "George said you can't have his number but you can have his Discord."
"Wait, really??" Naomi gasped. "Wait, what does that mean!? I can talk to him on it!?"
Y/n laughed. "Yes, yes! You can text or voice call or even video call but I don't suggest that right away. Don't scare him away."
"He really said he'd add me back? Wait, when did you talk to him about me?"
"On Dream's stream. After the movie, I went and talked to them for a few hours."
"Is that why I heard you giggling at four in the morning?"
Y/n felt her cheeks heat up. "Okay, well, that was just with Dream. George and Sapnap left the call around one and two."
"Date."
"Sounds to me like someone doesn't want GeorgeNotFound's Discord..."
Y/n saw Naomi cower shyly. "Sorry. Please give it to me."
"I don't know it off the top of my head, silly. So be nice for the rest of the car ride and I'll get it when we get home."
"Is Karl meeting us at our apartment or his?"
"Ours. Can you tell him we're almost there?"
"I don't know if I have the strength to... talk to someone who's such good friends with... my love..." Naomi started with a dramatic sigh, "it just reminds me of the pain I go through daily... without him..."
"If that were true, you couldn't talk to me. I'm also good friends with Mr. Not Found."
Naomi threw her head to glare at Y/n, who just laughed. "Come on, text Karl. Please. His food will get cold."
Y/n watched as Naomi typed away on her phone. Soon, the two pulled up to their apartment complex and headed upstairs. Y/n turned the corner and walked down the hall to see Karl standing at their front door.
"KARL JACOBS! WE HAVE FOOD!"
He looked up quickly from his phone and beamed at them. "My heroes!"
"What are you doing outside, silly?" Y/n asked. "Don't you have a key?"
"Naomi made me give it back after I pulled that prank on you guys last month," he explained as Y/n unlocked the door.
"Well deserved. I still find glitter everywhere."
Y/n set the food on the counter and the other two crowded around. "Thank you, mother, for lunch," Karl joked and kissed her cheek loudly, his love language of physical touch jumping out of him. Y/n grimaced playfully as she wiped her cheek on her shoulder.
"GROSS!!! COOTIES!"
Karl pouted. "I thought we were best fwends, Y/n . Best fwends don't have cooties."
"You do. You're a boy."
Y/n's phone lit up as Karl started going on a joking rant about how Y/n  always is so mean to his affections and he can't help wanting to show his friends he loves them and how she's so mean and, "Y/n you're not even listening to my complaints how are we supposed to be best friends when you're too busy talking to your boyfriend all the time and—"
"Boyfriend?" Y/n looked up quickly, worried he had seen the text from Peter that she just read. He was still trying to convince her to talk to him even after she bluntly told him no and why.
Karl walked over to the couch with his food and sat next to Naomi. "I was just joking... why, is there someone?" he giggled. "Dreeeaam maybe?"
Y/n shook her head, and her lack of defensiveness made Naomi and Karl look at each other. Normally she turned bright red and stumbled over her words when they joked about anyone being her boyfriend, but she was stone cold silent as her phone continued to illuminate her face.
"Y/n... What's up?" Naomi asked. "Is it Peter again?"
"Peter?" Karl's eyebrows raised and his food almost fell out of his mouth. "He's been texting you?"
Y/n sighed, locking her phone and sliding it in her pocket before finally joining her friends on the couch. "It's nothing."
"No, it's not."
"He wants to talk," Y/n mumbled.
"What?" Karl asked genuinely.
"I said he wants to talk."
Karl just stared for a few moments before looking at Naomi, who nodded, then back at Y/n. "You're not going to, right? Right? You've got to be kidding me, Y/n, he's a selfish dick and he's just going to keep hurting you. Why do you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt when he's proven time and time again that he's nothing but a fuc—"
"Karl!" Y/n interrupted. "I'm obviously not going to talk to him."
Karl's face flushed, probably embarrassed that he had assumed the worst and ranted. He sighed, exasperated. "Why don't you just block him already?"
Y/n shrugged. "He's harmless now that I don't let his words get to me."
"I'm just glad you finally decided not to meet up with him," Naomi said.
Y/n  shrugged like it was an obvious choice, but deep down she couldn't help but think about the exact reason she had come to that decision. Besides all the pain he had caused her, how could she consider getting back together with her ex when she finds herself giddy about talking to someone else over Discord? Simple: she couldn't. The possibility of liking Dream briefly crossed her mind, and she knew that in the few weeks she had talked to him, the faceless man she had never met in real life made her feel better about herself than her ex-boyfriend ever did in the two years they dated. She wasn't sure quite what that meant, but she knew it was something.
"Can I have George's Dis...call or whatever it's called now? Please?"
Y/n laughed at the failed attempt at remembering the name of the application and pulled out her phone, directing Naomi on where to add friends and listing off his name and hashtag. Naomi then gave Y/n her name so she could tell George who to add back. "There, now leave me alone about George for the rest of your life."
Naomi giggled giddily before going to her room, eyes glued to her phone for the moment he would add her back.
"I'm sorry for being so bossy when it comes to Peter," Karl muttered.
Y/n shrugged and cuddled into the couch, hugging a pillow to her stomach. "I get that he was awful, but you have to trust me to know what to do."
"I do! I promise I trust you but..." Karl paused to groan, "but he just makes my blood boil. I've never hated anyone in my life but I would love to slice his head off if I ever got the chance."
"Thank you for being protective, but I promise I can handle myself."
Karl looked at her sadly. "Why did you stay with him for so long? Even after he cheated on you and said all those horrible things?"
She shrugged shamefully. "I had no one else."
"You had me and Naomi! Y/n, you've never been alone."
"That's not what I mean, Karl. I love you guys so much but it's not the same as dating someone, you know?"
"I guess..." he sighed. "But wouldn't you rather be alone than with someone who's so possessive you're afraid to tell him about your real job?"
Y/n dropped her shoulders. He had a point. She really shouldn't have stayed with Peter as long as she did. He was scary. "Yeah."
A scream from the other room snapped them out of their serious conversation. "HE ADDED ME BACK!"
Y/n laughed and Karl shook his head. "Poor George. He's about to regret so much," she predicted.
"Noooo... I'm sure he and Naomi will get along great," Karl argued. "They'll be friends at least."
"Maybe. Hey, any updates about cameragirl?"
Karl blushed immediately and Y/n smiled.
"Is that a yes??"
"I... may have... finally spoken to her. Y/n, she's so cute. Like, she's so nice and I want to protect her from everything."
"What did you guys talk about?!" Y/n gasped, sitting up quickly.
"You're going to be so disappointed in me..."
"Did you talk about Sonic the Hedgehog again? Karl, I swear—"
"No! But I only said like two words."
"What two words?"
"Um, I said hi, and then she asked how I was and I said good."
"KARL!"
"I know!" he said as he buried his face in his hoodie sleeves. "I'm the worst! I don't know how to talk to her! She's so cute!!!"
Y/n laughed endearingly and pulled his hands away. "My offer still stands, I'll teach you how to flirt if you want."
"No, I still don't believe that you can actually flirt."
"I totally can, but fine. Ask Naomi to help you if you don't trust me. She'd teach you if you want." Y/n looked down at her phone as it lit up with notifications from Twitter.
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As if he knew by the smile on her face who it was, Karl challenged, "Flirt with Dream to prove you can."
"I have nothing to prove to you," Y/n mumbled, standing up. "But he wants to call me so I'm going to my room. You're welcome to stay here or go home since Naomi's still in her room too."
"Mkay," Karl said. "I'll just stay here for now. Thanks again for the food."
"No problem, dude." Y/n disappeared to her room and opened Discord on her computer, waiting for Dream to call her. She answered when he finally did.
"Hi, Dream," she smiled into her headset.
"Hi, Bug. What are you up to?"
"Nothing. I was just explaining to Karl how good I am at flirting because he doesn't believe that I'm good."
"I don't either."
"What?" she laughed. "Why does no one think I can? Have you seen all the thirsty people flirting with me on Twitter? You included."
"Yeah, but you hardly flirt back. You just insult us."
"I can flirt when I want to."
"Prove it."
"...I don't want to."
"Why? Because you can only flirt with your boyfriend?"
"Are you trying to get me to admit I have a secret lover?"
"Yes."
"Well too bad, I don't."
"Interesting... so you," he paused, careful with his words, "so you decided... not to listen to whats-his-face?"
"Mhm," she hummed, not trusting her voice to stay steady. Why was she nervous? She crossed her fingers hoping that he wouldn't ask how or why she came to that conclusion. She didn't have a lie ready to hide the fact that it might have something to do with Dream.
"Then there's no reason you can't flirt with me."
Y/n sighed dramatically but still smiled. "Why did you call me? Just to make fun of my flirting abilities?"
"No, I called because I'm bored."
"Wow, so I'm just a backup when GeorgeNotFound and Sapnap are busy?"
"Actually, I called you before I tried either of them."
"Interesting..." she mocked him and he scoffed.
"Stop changing the subject and flirt with me!!! Give me your best pickup line!! Why won't you?"
"How about because I reserve flirting for people who deserve it?"
"Oh, it's that good, huh? You have to be on a VIP list to be flirted with by you?"
"Yeah," she laughed, completely joking. "It's life-changing."
"How do I get on that list?"
"Why do you want me to flirt with you so bad, you weirdo?"
"Because you said it's life-changing! And because I just don't believe that you're good at flirting."
"Why? What about me screams that I'm an awkward mess?"
"Everything!" he laughed. "Every time I've witnessed anyone flirt with you you just get all embarrassed and change the subject. Or on Twitter when we flirt with you, you almost always just reject us outright. People like that aren't smooth."
"Fine. I'll flirt with you, Dream. Not now but when you least expect it and it'll leave you so speechless that you'll never question me again."
"Good. I'm excited."
She snorted lightly and shook her head. "You're ridiculous."
"Oh, hey, you know how I said Sapnap, George, and I wanted to do a big hangout thing with everyone?"
"Yes! Is it happening??"
"Yeah! We still don't know exactly when but George mentioned he thinks New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are stupid holidays so we want to get everyone together in person for that to prove it's a great holiday."
"I mean... I'm kinda with George on this one," Y/n agreed.
"What?! How? It's the start of a New Year! It's an excuse to kiss someone and you start the year with all your friends and loved ones and-"
"It's literally just another day. The only thing that changes is people accidentally put the wrong year when they write dates down for the first month."
Dream laughed. "That's stupid. No. It's a good holiday."
"Whatever. You'll just have to prove to me that it's good."
"I will."
"And the thing you said about having an excuse to kiss someone is stupid. If you wanna kiss someone, just kiss them."
"That easy, huh?"
"Yes."
Dream hummed thoughtfully, a mischievously playful tone to it that made Y/n change the subject slightly to spare her heart from beating too hard.
"So he's coming for New Years'?"
"Okay, yeah, so he doesn't know exactly what date but we're trying to get as many of our friends as we can to come so we have to plan around everyone. Also obviously you and Karl and Naomi are invited."
"Oh, Naomi too? Good, because I think they're talking to each other right now."
"They are," Dream laughed. "George texted me when she added him and he panicked because he doesn't know how to talk to girls."
"What?!" Y/n gasped in offense. "That's his and my thing! Why didn't he text me panicking??"
"He said he was going to text you but since it's your friend he felt awkward."
She grunted. "Fine. I guess that makes sense. Except, I know her better than anyone so I'd be waaay more helpful than you."
"You saying I don't know how to talk to girls?"
"I mean, you've used so many pickup lines on me on Twitter and I'm still not wowed, so yeah, I'd say you aren't as smooth as you'd like to think."
"Bug! What?! I'm totally good at talking to girls," Dream tried to defend, pulling excuses out of his ass. "I just haven't used my best tactics because you're easier to scare away than most. As I said, you can't dish it or take it so I have to use special moves."
"They still haven't worked." The quick beating of her heart and shaking of her hands informed her that that was a lie. Every time he replied to her tweets, the painful grin on her face proved it was a big, fat lie. Maybe she was a little impressed at his "special moves" but she wasn't going to ever admit that to him.
"Whatever, you liar. Anyway, we were thinking of renting a cabin on a lake or something like that for everyone to stay in."
"Oh! Yes, that sounds so fun! I love lake houses so much."
"Good. I'm gonna talk to George and the other brits and see if that's doable. It's gonna happen. I promise. I'm tired of not seeing my friends."
"Wait, how many people are you guys thinking? I'm still nervous about showing people my face..."
"It's a rough list but basically Sapnap, George, Quackity, Karl, Wilbur, Niki, um, Tubbo, Tommy, who else.... I think that's it right now. We'll make sure you know them and are comfortable with them so you don't feel pressured to show strangers who you are."
She nodded to herself. "Okay. I could also just not come if I'm not comfortable with someone—"
"What?!" he asked loudly, genuinely surprised. "Wha— no. We just wouldn't invite them."
"But—"
"I'd way rather have you there than anyone else. Hell, I'd kick George or Sapnap out if you didn't want to show them your face."
"Wait, really?"
"No pressure but I really want you to come and I want to make sure your comfortable."
"What if I don't want to show you my face?"
There was a long pause and Y/n knew he was trying to control his voice so she didn't know he was disappointed or slightly offended. "I mean... I don't know. I guess I... wouldn't go."
Her heart cracked at the sadness in his voice.
"I really don't want you to be pressured into—"
"Dream," she said. "It's okay. I'm probably most comfortable with meeting you over anyone else."
"Really?"
She didn't trust her voice not to sound too sappy and giddy. She didn't trust it a lot when she was around Dream. "Mhm."
"I'm glad," he said happily but softly. "It will be fun. Also, give me your phone number."
"So forward of you, Dream."
"Shut up, I wanna make a group chat."
Y/n laughed and told him her number. "I'm really excited now, Dream! I haven't hung out with people in so long and it sounds like a fun little vacation."
Dream laughed at her excitement. "I just want to hug the shit out of George."
It was Y/n's turn to laugh loudly. "Have you met him in real life yet?"
"No."
"I doubt he'll even let you touch him. He doesn't seem touchy."
"I don't think he is but I don't care. I am very touchy so he won't have a choice but to hug me."
"Ugh, another touchy person. Gross."
"Are you not?"
"Not really. Karl is the touchiest person I have ever met so he's kinda rubbed off on me a little over the years I think, but in general no."
"Oh, yeah, he's already threatened to kiss all of us as soon as we meet," Dream said with a laugh.
"Best to just let it happen. He pouted earlier because I wiped my cheek after he kissed it."
"That doesn't sound like something someone who can flirt would do."
"Because I'm not flirting with Karl!" Y/n groaned but a laugh was behind her words. "What is with you guys?"
"You just can't be on Karl and my level of flirting if we don't see it! Can't be in the gang if you don't show us your skill."
"Just you wait, Dream. You'll see."
"Wait, what about our Minecraft date?"
"What about it?"
"When we do that, you have to flirt with me!"
"No, I don't," she protested with a loud laugh.
"Um, I'm pretty sure it's very rude to not sweet-talk your date. You have to flirt with me then."
Y/n giggled. "Oh yeah? And what if I don't?" She hadn't meant for her voice to come out laced with something suggestive, but if Dream noticed, he thankfully didn't show it.
"Well, we'll just have to keep going on dates until you do."
"Pretty sure forcing someone on dates is illegal, buddy."
Dream laughed. "You agreed to it!!"
"I agreed to the first one," she corrected. "I agreed to one date in exchange for you letting Karl tour me around your server. One."
"Don't worry." Unlike Y/n's, Dream's voice was purposefully laced with something suggestive as he told her, "after our date, it won't take much for you to agree to more."
"Oh whatever," she scoffed, trying to cool her face down with her icy hands. Even they were no match for the heat on her cheeks. "When are we doing this stupid thing anyway?"
"Ah, the smooth talking has begun, I see."
"Dreeeamm..." she whined, growing increasingly tired of the butterflies in her stomach. Why did she suddenly feel so nervous around him? It's not sudden, she told herself.
Dream's cute laugh interrupted her thoughts. "What about tomorrow?"
"I'm streaming Among Us tomorrow."
He groaned. "You never make time for me."
"I cannot stand you," she joked, laughs slipping through her annoyed voice and blowing her cover. "You're the one who said you were too busy to join my lobby. So really you don't make time for me."
"No, no, no," he protested. "I'd make time for one-on-one time with you, just not a game where I hardly get to talk to you."
"Oh my gosh." She rolled her eyes. "How did you turn this around to sound cute again."
"Aw, Bug, you think I'm cute?"
"You ruined it by asking. What are you doing tomorrow anyway?"
"I have to finish a plug-in by tomorrow night so George and I can test it. There's still a lot to fix so it'll probably will take all day."
"Oooh," she cooed. "What's it do?"
"It changes the world every time we take damage," he explained with a hint of pride in his voice.
"What the! That sounds awesome!"
"Thanks," he said shyly, proudness gone now that he was being complimented. "Anyway, George is really busy next week so we have to test it tomorrow night so we can record the next day."
"You probably should finish it then."
"Or you could cancel your stream and we could go on a date."
"Dream!" She laughed. "No! How about next week. Between you editing the video you record, we go on a Minecraft date. How's Thursday?"
"I guess I could fit you into my schedule..."
"I hate you."
His cheeky grin could be heard through his stupid words. "Keep telling yourself that."
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A/N: *sniff* *sniff* yall smell a hater in those twitter screenshots?? hmmm..... 
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thesunicarusfellfor · 3 years
Note
Your so great at writing omg- so could you do a part two of the yandere techno and philza?
And other idea for a different request!
Maybe ghostbur? 👀 With florist reader? And someone burned down there shop so they are very upset so ghostbur comforts them and helps build then a new one?
Again please take as long as you need.
- Your beloved Moosh ( platonically! :3)
Moosh, darling! Hello! How are you doing today? Part two of the yandere Tech and Phil chapter is up! Thank you for your requests, your ideas are just chefs kiss!
This is a tad bit short. I really really have to get out of the habit of writing 10k+ stories, because then I have no energy to write the other requests that have been waiting for a while <3
Also. This turned out to be angstier than I had hoped...
TW: Depression, emotion repression, large mentions of past Wilbur x Reader
Dead Blue Flowers (C!Ghostbur x GN!Depressed!Reader)
How...? How did this happen?
You tried so hard to remain neutral in this war, even going as far as to avoid telling people your opinions on things. Wasn't raising your tax weekly back when Schlatt was in control enough?
You just gave people flowers, for god's sake! Why did they have to burn the shop to nothing but cinders?!
Standing in front of the charred frame of your shop that had once been your prized possession. Every dollar you had raised, every smile that appeared on the faces of people you gave flowers to... You remembered the genuine smile on Wilbur's face when he gave you this plot of land to build whatever store you wanted...
Now it was all ashes that slipped through the cracks between your fingers...
"(Y/n)?" An echoing and airy voice echoed through your ears and you glanced up slightly to see a pair of shoes levitating a few inches off the ground, "What happened to your shop- Oh, you're crying, here. Take some blue. Calm yourself."
Crying?
While the levitating figure dug around, trying to find this so-called blue, you rose your hands up and touched your cheeks to find them slightly damp. When you pulled your hands away, a small cold pouch of blue dye was carefully placed in your hands, causing a small shiver to crawl down your spine, "Thanks, Bur..." You whispered softly, trying to smile to calm him down, but you just found your eyes welling up with more tears, so you put your head down in an attempt to hide them from your ghost friend.
"Did it not work? Perhaps that blue was broken..." Ghostbur reached into his small bag with his dye-stained fingers, digging around for a pouch of dye that wasn't 'broken'. You could feel a faint bit of panic in his voice as he mumbled about how blue always worked for him, so he didn't know why it wasn't working for you.
"No, Bur... It's just... I don't know what to do. My shop is gone. It was my pride and joy. Now I don't have anything left..." You murmured, holding the, now two, dye-filled packages in your cupped hands, "Even the cornflower seeds I used to make the blue flowers I gave you... They're nothing now... His mem- I'm nothing now..."
Ghostbur was panicking and the blue clutched in his hands was evident of that, "No, no! Don't say things like that! Come, come-" He gave a few coughs, his negative emotions seeming to affect him physically as well as emotionally.
You slowly pushed yourself up into a standing position, rubbing your eyes with your sleeves as your fingertips were tainted with dye. While you didn't feel much happier, despite Ghostbur's best efforts, you knew that emotionally he couldn't handle your sadness, "Thanks, Bur. I do feel much happier thanks to your blue. I'm gonna head home now." You gave him your best smile, watching as the sweater-wearing spirit studied your eyes to see if you were lying.
"Oh, okay!" The ghost perked up slightly, but his smile looked a tad bit hollow in your eyes. Guess you were in no place to judge, you did just give your best friend a smile to get him to stop panicking... Was this emotion suppression? Probably. Yeah. Ah well... As long as he's happy now. "I'm gonna go see Phil now, maybe you should come to visit sometime soon. He makes really good tea and biscuits."
"Yeah... I'll hop by his place sometime soon." You gave him the empty promise, knowing very well you didn't want anything to do with social interactions for quite a while until you found something else to put your time towards.
Over the next few days, Ghostbur would wait outside your house for you to come out and walk with you to your flower shop, but he then began to realize that you had nothing to walk to. Hell, you didn't have a reason to leave your house anymore... There was no point in coming outside. After standing under the awning above your front door for a few moments, he got an idea in his head, so he set off towards the house of Alivebur's father.
"Phiiiiiil?" He called softly, opening the front door to see the injured avian sitting in his chair in front of the fireplace, "Ah, Philza! Just the man I wanted to see!"
"Hey mate," The blond greeted softly, setting his cup of tea down on the table before getting up to properly interact with the ghost of his son, "What do ya' need from me?"
For a few seconds, hesitance filled Ghostbur's veins. He hadn't completely thought through this idea and didn't even know how you or Phil would react to it, "My ange- best friend, (Y/n)... Well, they were very very important to Alivebur, and I still have many happy memories of them... But they aren't happy now because someone burnt down their flower shop... They haven't left their house in a few days, and I'm getting a really bad feeling, Phil!" Despite the fact that a pouch of blue was tightly grasped in his hands, the ghost didn't seem to be feeling any calmer, ultimately chalking it up to the flowers he had made the dye out of must've been from a bad place.
Philza grabbed onto the ghost of his son, giving a faint hiss of pain at the icy buzz that attacked his palms, but ignored it and kept his hands on his son's shoulders. Or what was left of the son he killed, "Wil- Ghostbur. Calm down. I want you to go visit them and make sure they're still okay-"
"But I think they'll only be okay if their shop is built! I want to rebuild it for them!" Ghostbur whined softly, not exactly understanding why he felt so strongly towards you, "Alivebur really really cared about them, which means I care about them. And they're sad, even with the blue I gave them..."
Phil pursed his lips together, trying to keep quiet about exactly why Wilbur cared about you so much, "Okay, okay... I want you to go visit them and find the blueprints of their shop... If-If you can't, then I'm sure we can build something similar... Just please, make sure they're alive, eating and taking care of themselves..."
"Alive? Of course they're alive- right? right, Phil?" Ghostbur hiccuped slightly, bringing up his dye-stained fingers to his mouth in shock when the avian hesitated, "Phil?"
"Just, go check on them Wil... Please."
Without another word, the ghost hurried out the door and looked up at the rapidly darkening sky, as he floated towards the person his alive self adored so greatly. "(Y/n)... Why did Alivebur care for you so much? Why did he want you in his life so bad?" When the transparent male arrived at your door, he hurriedly pounded his fists on the door before pressing himself against it to hide under the awning as rain began to sprinkle down from the sky, "(Y/n)! Please, it's raining!" He cried, not wanting to melt.
There was a few seconds of silence before there was a rushing sound of footsteps coming from the inside of the house. Before the ghost could react, the door flew open, causing him to tumble onto the floor inside the house, "Bur! You should've checked the weather!"
He looked up at his saviour... And gave the softest smile he's ever worn. Even it had only been a few days, he began to realize just how much you meant to him as well, not just Alivebur. You were a guardian angel... A saviour from reality...
"Y-yeah, I know..." You murmured, trying to flatten down your unbrushed hair before shrinking away from your friend's gaze and into your oversized sweater that had once been Wilbur's, "I haven't really bothered to... Uhm... manage my appearance..."
"No worries, angel..." He blurted out, causing you to flinch as you stared at him. He didn't even know why he called you that to be completely honest, but he pushed himself off of your floor and dusted himself free of invisible dust, "Why haven't you been coming outside? I've been waiting outside for you every day... Phil was also worried about you losing a life in here alone!"
Pursing your lips together, you couldn't help but avoid the gaze of the ghost as you shut the door, "Sorry Bur, I've just been really tired..." You gave him a tired smile, but this time it didn't work on the poor ghost.
"I- I uhm... I know I'm forgetful, I know I'm an amnesiac, but I still feel this... I still feel things, and I try my best to make sure no one else feels it... But it's not working for helping you." He nervously grabbed onto a pouch of blue in his messenger bag, gritting his teeth together for a moment, "I figured out why that shop means so much to you... It's because it was a gift from Alivebur... Your lover... And now you feel like you have nothing left to hold his memory."
He watched as your eyes went wide and beginning to fill with tears before he went to his bag, going to grab some blue for you, but he paused upon seeing something else. A cornflower, one that never got turned into a dye, but it was withered and dead from being in the bag for so long, "Wil-Gho... Bur..." You hiccuped, trying to form words to create an apology, but your throat felt like it was tied in knots.
"That's also why you call me Bur... Because you don't want to accept that Aliv-... Wilbur... Is now a ghost..." He walked closer to you and put his hand on your arms, thankfully you were wearing a sweater to prevent frostbite from attacking your skin, "And that's okay! It's okay, (Y/n), you loved him... And he loved you, which means I love you... but I know you need time to cope with Al- Wilbur's... Death..." He carefully reached up and took your wrist, bringing your hand up into view so he could press the dead cold cornflower into your palm, "Until then, I'll stay by your side as your best friend..."
You slowly reached up and put your hand against his cheek, even though the contact burned your fingertips and he hardly felt solid... He was there... "Thank you... Ghostbur." You lowered your hand and smiled down at the dead flower in your palm.
"Now, come on, let's get you cleaned up! Me and Phil will help you rebuild your flower shop... When the rain lets up of course!"
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itsallyscorner · 3 years
Note
just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth
just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)
(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)
💌.
just like magic
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Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.
At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.
You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.
Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)
Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy
Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30
Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)
You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.
You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.
The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.
“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.
“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.
“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”
“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.
Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)
Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic
Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)
Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven
Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.
Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.
“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.
“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.
“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”
“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.
“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.
“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.
“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.
“Man?”
“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.
You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.
You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”
Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.
“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.
“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”
“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.
You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”
Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)
Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it
Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)
I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)
As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.
Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.
So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.
Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)
Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)
Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet
Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)
As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.
These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.
Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.
“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.
“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.
“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.
“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.
“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.
“You’re not upset?”
“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.
“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”
“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.
Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits
Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic
Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.
The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.
The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.
“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.
“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.
“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.
“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.
“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.
You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.
“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.
Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.
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kjack89 · 3 years
Text
Conversation Starter
Just a little modern AU E/R fluff for your Saturday evening enjoyment.
It was like every single cliché had come to life: Enjolras’s palms were sweating, his knees were wobbling slightly, and it felt like his stomach had vacated his abdomen and taken refuge somewhere around his ankles. And all because he was walking down the street towards Grantaire so that they could go on their first date.
Honestly, it was hard to gauge whether it was the Grantaire part or the date part that had Enjolras feeling like a middle schooler again, and his mouth went dry as he finally reached Grantaire, who turned and looked expectantly at him with that little smile on his face. “Hey,” Enjolras managed, and Grantaire’s eyebrows rose.
“That’s really what you’re going with?” he said in lieu of a greeting, and Enjolras stared at him.
“Excuse me?”
Grantaire shook his head with something like disapproval. “Just...hey,” he repeated, slightly incredulous.
Enjolras’s brow furrowed. “If you’re about to make a ‘hey’s for horses’ joke…”
Grantaire barked a laugh and shook his head. “I promise you, I am not.” He squinted slightly at Enjolras as if just seeing him for the first time. Which was patently absurd, since they’d been friends for years and sleeping together for, well, awhile, and besides— “Just trying to figure out why you sound like every a-hole who’s ever slid into my DMs.”
Enjolras gaped at him. “I—what?” he managed, his voice sounding mangled to his own ears.
“I mean, here you are, this great orator, and the best you can muster for the opening line of our first official date is hey.” Grantaire shrugged. “I guess I just expected more, that’s all.”
The nerves that Enjolras had been feeling earlier had long since disappeared, replaced almost entirely by something like pure rage. “Well, I’m sorry,” he said frostily, “how do you like to start a conversation, since you’re clearly such an expert?”
Grantaire grinned, and the sight took Enjolras aback almost as much as the entire conversation to that point had. “Oh, I don’t,” he assured Enjolras, who just stared at him. “I let other people start the conversation so that I can mock them for their opening, thus establishing the tone for the rest of the evening.”
He sounded abominably smug, and Enjolras’s had to work to wrench his mouth open to splutter a response. “And has that ever worked for you?”
“Well, you haven’t left yet, so.” Grantaire had the gall to actually wink at Enjolras. “Ask me again at the end of the evening.” He paused, his smile softening, just slightly. “Besides, you’re not nervous anymore, right?”
Enjolras blinked. “Who told you that I was nervous?” he asked defensively, and when Grantaire just gave him a look, he managed a light laugh. “Ok, fine, I was.”
“And?” Grantaire prompted.
“And what?”
“And are you still nervous?”
Of course he wasn’t. Which had probably been the whole entire point, and Enjolras just shook his head slowly. “You really are an asshole,” he said, with no small amount of affection. “You know that, right?”
Grantaire grinned before leaning in and pressing a swift kiss to the corner of Enjolras’s mouth. “Maybe,” he said. “But like I noted before, you haven’t left yet. So I must be doing something right.”
Enjolras shook his head again, but when he took Grantaire’s hand, his palm wasn’t sweaty anymore. “So it would seem.”
----------
“We need to talk.”
Enjolras had to raise his voice slightly be heard over the general hubbub of the back room of the Musain, which ended up being a mistake, since as soon as he said it, almost all conversation ceased. Or at least, that’s what it felt like, which made his attempt to get Grantaire’s attention so that they could talk seem kind of pathetic.
Or something.
Grantaire’s expression was unreadable as he stood and jerked his head towards the door, walking out without waiting to see if Enjolras was following him. Enjolras, of course, did, and not just because everyone seemed to be staring at him.
He followed Grantaire outside to the alley and watched as Grantaire stopped and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at Enjolras with that same unreadable smile. “Well?” he said impatiently, and Enjolras blinked.
“Well, what?”
Grantaire arched an eyebrow. “You said we need to talk, so...talk.”
Enjolras eyed him warily, trying to figure out why Grantaire’s tone was suddenly so cold, certain he was stepping on to a landmine. “Now I’m not sure I want to.”
“Why not?”
Enjolras gave him a look. “Because you’re looking at me like you’re about to start swinging.”
Grantaire rolled his eyes. “I would never use physical violence against you,” he said dismissively, which Enjolras almost would’ve taken as sweet if it weren’t for the fact that, in that moment, he wasn’t entirely sure he meant it.
But whether Grantaire meant it or not, Enjolras figured he might as well try to use it to lighten the mood. “The scratches on my back would say otherwise.”
For one brief moment, it almost looked like Grantaire was smiling.
Almost.
“I would never use physical violence against you without your repeated and extremely enthusiastic consent,” Grantaire amended, a little impatiently. “But that’s not really the point.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, the point is, if you’re going to break up with me, I’d really appreciate it if you just got it over with.”
Grantaire said the words flatly, so much so that it took Enjolras a moment to even realize what he’d said. “If I’m going to...what?”
“Break up with me,” Grantaire repeated slowly, as if Enjolras was dumb, or hard of hearing.
Which rankled Enjolras more than a little, seeing as how he was neither, and yet still had absolutely no idea what Grantaire was talking about. “Why in the hell do you think that I’m about to break up with you?”
Now Grantaire was looking at him as if he was dumb. “Because you said we need to talk,” he said, as if that was any kind of an answer.
Enjolras stared blankly at him. “Yeah, because we do,” he said. “I wanted to see if you’d mind if we pushed our flights for Thanksgiving until later in the evening.”
Grantaire’s eyes fluttered closed. “Are you serious?” he asked, and Enjolras nodded, even though Grantaire’s eyes were still closed. “And you chose to broach that topic with, we need to talk?”
“I’m genuinely not seeing what I did wrong here,” Enjolras said.
Grantaire opened his eyes. “Is it possible that you were dropped on your head as a child?”
“Grantaire—”
“No I’m serious, it would explain a helluva lot.”
Enjolras cleared his throat. “Grantaire, there’s no need for ableist jokes.”
“Fine,” Grantaire said. “But do you honestly think that changing our Thanksgiving flights merit that kind of an introduction?”
“Actually, yeah, I do,” Enjolras said sharply, and Grantaire looked taken aback. “We’re flying to your parents’ house for me to meet them as your boyfriend. It’s kind of a big deal, and I wanted to talk about it because I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to get out of it. “
He said all of this in one breath, and Grantaire looked even more taken aback than before. “Oh,” he managed, his voice small.
“Because, for the record, I’m not,” Enjolras added helpfully. “I just have a meeting that got pushed to that afternoon.”
“Ok.”
Enjolras looked at him and took a deep breath before telling him, “I know that I don’t always go about things the right way. I don’t say the right thing, I don’t act the way I’m supposed to, I’ve never been very good at this. But I’m trying, because I...:” He trailed off, blushing slightly. “Well, because I love you. And I’m in this. And I just thought you should know that.”
Grantaire was staring up at him as if he had never quite seen him before. Then he sighed heavily. “Well God fucking damn it.”
Enjolras frowned. “What?”
“You were right.”
“About…?” Enjolras prompted.
Grantaire smiled at him, all his anger from before seemingly vanished. “We actually did need to talk,” he said, and he took a step forward to lace his fingers with Enjolras’s. “And I’m really fucking glad we did, because I love you, too.”
Enjolras grinned. “Good,” he said, bending down to kiss him.
Grantaire kissed him for a moment before pulling back. “But you’ve really got to work on your conversation starters.”
Enjolras just laughed. “I will certainly try.”
----------
“Are you mad at me?” Enjolras asked, the first words either had said in each other in several hours, which probably explained why the words seemed to hang between them as Grantaire studiously avoided looking at him.
“I’m sure I have no idea what would give you that impression,” Grantaire said frostily.
Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Mostly the fact that you’ve been giving me the silent treatment and keep glaring at me,” he said sourly.
Grantaire gave him one of those selfsame glares. “That was a rhetorical question.”
“Well, are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me, or would you prefer that I play twenty questions to guess the answer?” Enjolras asked, as pleasantly as he could manage considering that he was considering throttling his boyfriend, whom he loved, with his bare hands.
“I don’t know, you were doing so well with charades,” Grantaire shot back.
Enjolras sighed and counted to ten in his head before asking, “Can you be serious for, like, thirty seconds?”
“I am being serious,” Grantaire snapped. “And I’m not the moron who started this conversation with ‘are you mad at me’ when the answer was an obvious fucking yes.”
Enjolras rolled his eyes so hard he instantly gave himself a headache. Though that could possibly also be attributed to the banality of this entire conversation. “So now you’re mad at me for how I chose to broach this conversation?”
Grantaire just shrugged. “It’s one of many reasons, yes.”
“And again, am I going to have to guess the other ones?” Grantaire shrugged again and Enjolras sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, and I’m not just saying that because I want this fight or argument or whatever to be over, because you know as well as I do that I love to fight.” Grantaire nodded in agreement, which Enjolras took as a slightly optimistic sign. “But I also love you, and this doesn’t seem like it’s going to be a fun fight for either of us.”
Almost as if against his own will, Grantaire looked over at him, a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “And what does a fun fight look like?”
Enjolras smiled slightly, turning to face Grantaire, reaching out to hook his fingers through the belt loops of Grantaire’s jeans to tug him closer. “Well, it usually ends with one or both of us naked.”
“Ah,” Grantaire said, reaching up to rest his hands lightly against Enjolras’s chest and tilting his head up slightly. “Yeah, I like those fights.”
“I had a hunch,” Enjolras murmured, bending his head so that his lips just brushed against Grantaire’s. Then he took a step back, and Grantaire let out a small noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. “But this seems like it’s something serious, so if you’d rather we discuss whatever’s going on…”
“I never said that,” Grantaire said breathlessly. “You were the one who brought it up.”
“Did I?” Enjolras murmured, pulling Grantaire close again. “Well that was stupid of me.”
Grantaire kissed him lightly. “So stupid.” He reached up to brush a blond curl out of Enjolras’s eyes. “I really do like these kinds of fights.”
Enjolras laughed. “So do I,” he said, bending down to kiss Grantaire once more. “In no small part because it’s like we get to fight and make up all at the same time.” Grantaire murmured his agreement and Enjolras added, “I mean, do you even remember why you were mad at me?”
Grantaire’s expression soured and he gave Enjolras a look before kissing him again, a little more forcefully this time. “Maybe not so much with the conversation right now.”
Enjolras’s answering laugh was captured by Grantaire’s mouth. “Fair enough.”
----------
“You know that I love you, right?”
Enjolras said it casually, almost offhandedly, and it took him a moment to realize that Grantaire had stopped walking. “What did you do?” Grantaire asked, and Enjolras looked blankly at him.
“What did I do about what?” he asked.
Grantaire gave him a look. “To make you say that,” he said impatiently. “You had to have done something.”
Enjolras stared at him. “I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Grantaire let out a weary sigh before telling Enjolras slowly, “You chose to start the conversation—”
“Oh my God,” Enjolras groaned. “Not this again.”
Grantaire refused to be deterred. “You chose to start the conversation with ‘you know that I love you, right’.”
“Yes, I did,’ Enjolras said, because there was really no use in denying it.
“Which therefore implies that there is some kind of reason I should have for doubting that you love me,” Grantaire told him.
Enjolras stared at him. “That is one helluva leap in logic.”
Grantaire rolled his eyes, clearly unamused. “If it is, then once again, you and I need to have a conversation about your word choices.”
“Maybe so, but do you think it can wait?”
Grantaire threw his hands up in the air. “Sure, we’ll just table it and let me have a heart attack everytime you start a damn conversation!” he half-shouted, and he stalked a few paces away. “I mean, you really think this is something we should wait on?”
“Actually, yes,” Enjolras said, pulling a small, gray box from his pocket. “Because I kind of have something else that I wanted to talk about.”
Grantaire huffed a sigh. “Like—”
Enjolras got down on one knee just as Grantaire turned around. “Like this.”
Grantaire stared at him. “Oh my God,” he whispered.
“Grantaire, I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Enjolras said simply, unable to stop his stupid, lovesick grin. “Will you marry me?”
Grantaire was still staring at him. “Are you...are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Enjolras arched an eyebrow, though his grin didn’t once waver. “Is that a no?”
Grantaire spluttered incoherently. “Is that a – you fucking – is that a – get up here and kiss me, you asshole.” He grabbed the front of Enjolras’s shirt and pulled him up to kiss him, cradling Enjolras’s face in his hands. “Yes, of course I will marry you, but for fuck’s sake, that is not how you start a proposal!”
Enjolras laughed breathlessly. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time I propose.”
“Don’t even joke about that,” Grantaire told him, beaming as Enjolras slid the ring on to his finger. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Enjolras kissed him again. “And you’re stuck with me and my many failures at being a conversationalist, apparently.”
“Yeah,” Grantaire said happily. “You bet your ass I am.” He kissed Enjolras once more before looping his arms around Enjolras’s neck. “Just promise me something, ok?”
“Anything,” Enjolras said instantly.
“For the love of fucking God, please do not start your vows with ‘you know I love you, right’.”
Enjolras laughed. “I promise.”
“Good,” Grantaire said, before telling him, “and for the record, I do know, and I love you, too.”
Enjolras’s expression softened, and he kissed him once again. “I know.”
----------
“Hey,” Grantaire said tiredly, pausing to lean down and kiss the top of Enjolras’s head before plopping down next to him on the couch.
Enjolras shifted automatically so that Grantaire could lean against his shoulder. “You know, once upon a time, you told me not to start a conversation with ‘hey’.”
Grantaire yawned widely. “And I stand by that statement.”
“But now it’s ok when you do it?”
Enjolras couldn’t see him, but he could feel the movement of Grantaire rolling his eyes at him. “There’s a difference.”
Enjolras set his phone down. “Ok, so then explain the difference to me.”
Grantaire sat upright and turned to face him, his expression suddenly earnest. “The difference is that I’m not starting a conversation.”
Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Well seeing as how we weren’t talking just a few minutes ago, and now we are, I’m not sure how else you would qualify that.”
Grantaire smiled slightly. “You’re forgetting one important thing.”
“And what’s that?” Enjolras asked.
“We’re married.”
As this was not a recent development, Enjolras just stared at him. “Ok...and?”
“And this is it,” Grantaire said simply. “This is the rest of our lives. Just one big conversation that may pause every now and then, but it’s not gonna be over until the end, which means there’s never a need to start it up again.”
Enjolras couldn’t stop himself as he leaned in to kiss Grantaire, though he pulled back just enough to inform him, “You just don’t want to admit that you were an ass about saying hey to start a conversation.”
Grantaire laughed lightly. “Maybe.” He kissed Enjolras once more. “But, uh, you know I love you, right?”
Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Hilarious,” he said dryly.
“I know,” Grantaire said, his smile soft. “Thank God you’re stuck with me.”
“Yeah,” Enjolras said, kissing his forehead. “Thank God for that.”
86 notes · View notes
idreamofplaid · 3 years
Text
Healing
Summary: The life of a hunter is hard, loving a hunter may be harder, but love is greater than than all that.
Character: Dean x Reader; Sam mentioned
Word Count: 2196
A/N: Still fleshing out my Masterlist with another fic from my docs.
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Dean walked into your room a tattered and bloody mess. You looked up from the book you had been pretending to read while you waited for him to return. It wasn’t easy loving a hunter. The fear was always there, the fear that this would be the time he didn’t come back. It lurked in the corners of your mind. It sat cold and icy in the pit of your stomach. It squeezed your heart when he was late and you hadn’t heard from him, squeezed it to the point you thought you couldn’t breathe.
Even covered in blood as he was, the sight of him sent relief flooding through you. A new fear replaced the former. He was home, but he was hurt. Where was his injury? How bad was it? Why was there so much blood? Your book fell from your hands, and you went to him. 
"Dean, what happened? You started peeling the layers off him. Jacket, plaid shirt, t-shirt. You removed every layer. His armor of plaid flannel hadn’t been enough. The scratches were all over his chest, shoulders, stomach, and arms. Some of them were deep, deeper than you had seen before, and you struggled with yourself to stay calm. You needed to take care of him.  
"Werewolves,” he told you through gritted teeth. “There was a pack of werewolves right in our backyard, and we missed it." He sat down heavily on the bed, and put his head in his hands. "We missed it, Y/N. How the hell did we miss it?”
"Dean, you can't take care of every single monster in the world. That’s not on you.” You understood his need to make things right, at least as many things as he could.   
“Some of these wounds are bad, honey. You're going to need stitches.” Internally, you breathed a sigh of relief. You could do that. Stitches would make it okay. He was safe.
You went to the sink to wet a cloth and came back to sit on the bed beside him. Carefully, you started to wash off the blood, beginning with his chest. You talked to him while you cleaned him up. He’d told you once that hearing your voice made the world right for him and made him forget about the pain.
“Where’s Sam? Does he look like you do?” Sam was okay. You knew that, or Dean wouldn’t have left him. Still, you needed to hear him say it. Sam was the brother you had always wanted, and you loved him; but you couldn’t bear to think of what it would do to Dean if anything happened to him.
You cleaned the blood from his anti possession tattoo while Dean gave you the update on Sam. “He went back to his room. He’s got some scratches, but not this many and not deep. I got in a pretty serious tangle with a mean werewolf.” Dean gave you a half hearted smile. He was trying not to let it show just how much it hurt, but you could tell from the way he was breathing. Dean always put on a brave face for you, and you never let on that you saw right through every one of them. 
After getting all the blood off, you headed for your duffle to grab the first aid kit. You brought it back and opened it on the bed next to him. This next part would sting. You poured alcohol onto some gauze and started dabbing the cloth on his wounds. Dean winced.
"I know it hurts. I'm sorry." Your hand stilled for a minute, and you leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. 
When you pulled away, Dean was genuinely smiling. “You know how to take my mind off anything, don’t you?”
You smiled back at him. “Well, I try.”
Gently, you resumed applying alcohol to his wounds. Dean put his hand on yours where you were lightly tapping the alcohol soaked gauze to the scratches on his torso and looked at you with those green eyes you had fallen in love with. You had seen them every shade of green from the palest jade to the deepest green of the evening sea. Tonight they were dark, like a forest at twilight, and they were troubled.  
"Y/N, I don't want to keep coming home to you this way. I don't want you sitting up waiting for me, worrying if I'm alive or dead. You deserve a better life than that." You saw him swallow, and the pain in his expression was worse than anything the werewolf had done to him.
You moved to his shoulder and kept right on cleansing his wounds. "Dean, I do worry about you; I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I don't want to see you get hurt, but I know it's part of what you do. It's part of who you are. You make the world safer; that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. I don't dwell on what could happen to you. Does it scare me? Of course it does, but I focus instead on knowing that you want me to be the one here to stitch you up when you’re done fighting whatever evil thing it is you had the courage to confront.”
A smile danced around the corners of your lips, turning them up. “And who says I was waiting for you because I was worried? Maybe I was waiting for you for another reason.”  He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and shook his head with a chuckle.
Dean cupped the side of your face in his hand and brushed his thumb over your cheek. "You really are perfect for me." 
You kissed him, slowly with just the right amount of tease and a promise of what was to come later. When the kiss ended, you held his eyes for a few seconds before turning your attention back to the task at hand. 
"Now, let me take care of these stitches." You selected the suture needle you wanted from the first aid kit and skillfully sewed up the gashes on his shoulder and side. You had done this more than you liked to think about, and practice made you good. It was one of the first things Dean had taught you, but you still hated it. You knew it had to hurt even when he didn't let it show, and his pain always hurt you too.  
You kissed every spot where you had placed stitches when you were done and told him. "Go get a shower then come to bed. If you aren't too tired, I'll show you why I was waiting up for you."
You took off your clothes and climbed under the sheets. Even if Dean was too tired for sex, you wanted to feel his naked body against yours. You needed to hold him close and feel his arms around you.
When he walked out of the bathroom wearing just a towel, you took a good, long look. It was still hard at times to believe this man was yours. His lips made you think of the dirtiest things. What he could do with those lips....  They made you think of the sweetest things too, like the things he whispered in your ear, or the way he sometimes kissed the tip of your nose.
"Drop the towel, Dean, and come here.” He was quick to do exactly what you said, and you marveled again at the strength and masculine beauty of his body. It felt even better than it looked when it was pressed against yours.
You welcomed him into your arms, and the  kiss you gave him was sweet and lingering with just enough of an invitation in it he could pursue it if he wanted to, and he did. He was on top of you pinning you to the mattress with his body, and his lips were claiming yours, needing yours.  
You threaded your fingers through his hair and gently bit his bottom lip. "I want you just the way you are Dean Winchester. Every single scar belongs to me. Every one of them. YOU belong to me. 
His erection twitched against your stomach. You had touched yourself while he was in the shower with his name on your lips, preparing yourself for him. Your body was more than ready to feel the sweet stretch of him inside you. 
You opened your legs for him, and he entered you slowly and smoothly. The feel of him, so perfectly joined to you this way had you dropping your head back against the pillow and biting your bottom lip. Dean moved with a slow and steady rhythm, increasing his speed gradually. As his thrusts got deeper and faster, your urge to scratch your nails down his back got stronger. You didn't, not tonight. There were already scratches on his back that you didn't put there. If you added your own scratches over them, it wouldn't be a pleasurable pain.  
You held onto the back of his neck instead, whispering his name and encouragement in his ear. Your orgasm was right on the brink of tearing through you, but you held back because you wanted to come with him. You knew it wouldn't be long; his thrusts had become erratic. Dean moaned your name loudly, and you felt the release of his hot seed inside you. That's when you let yourself go to fall over the edge with him.
Afterwards, he held you stroking his hand slowly up and down your back. "Y/N, do you ever think about having kids?" You listened, almost holding your breath; you hadn't expected this."I mean, is it something you want?" He turned his head so he could see you better.
You didn’t respond right away, weighing your answer. This subject had never come up before. "I've thought about it. Is it something you want, Dean?"
He was slow with his answer too and sighed before he spoke. "Yeah. I want kids. I probably think about it more than I should because I wouldn't be a very good father.”
You moved yourself on top of him, so you could look right down into his eyes. "Why do you say that, Dean?"
His hand had stopped moving on your back. All of his attention was focused on you, and the look in his eyes was heartbreaking. "I didn't have much of a role model in that department. I don't know how to be a father."
You ran your fingers through the hair above his temple. "Dean, you practically raised Sam. He's told me about it. You read to him. You put bandaids on his scrapes. You helped him with his homework.” Dean’s eyes had changed, the hard edge of pain in them softened by your words. “I could go on. You would be an amazing father. You’re great with kids. Not only would you be an incredible father, you're meant to be one."
Now, the look in his eyes was nothing short of wonder. “You really think that?”
“Yes, I do. You’re a natural.” You kissed him with a brush of your lips over his. Sometimes Dean understood physical affection in a way he didn’t accept words. 
He slowly opened his eyes after your mouth moved away from his. "Do you think that could work, having kids, living the way we do?” he asked. There was a touch of hope in his voice that you rarely heard there, but he still needed more reassurance. “I'm gone so much, and I would never want my kid to see me bloody the way you did tonight."
You told him what he needed to hear with the conviction of truly believing what you were saying to him. "Between you, me, and Sam someone would always be here to take care of the baby. We're a family. Families do that. And our child won't see you bloody. We can control things like that, Dean." 
The things you had told him were sinking in, and you gave him a little time before you took your pointer finger and started playing with his bottom lip. "Do you want to get me pregnant, Dean?"
"You mean like now?" You weren’t sure if he was surprised, scared, eager, or maybe all three.
You kissed along the scratches on his chest, wanting to replace all the pain he’d ever felt with something more gentle and more beautiful, something he deserved. "Well, I would have to stop taking birth control first, but yes pretty much now."
When you raised up to look at him, Dean put his hands on each side of your face, brought your lips down to his, and kissed you. "I love you, Y/N."
You loved him too. The complexity of who he was had brought a richness to your life and fulfilled you in a way you hadn’t imagined possible. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t a fairy tale. It was something better. Real. You would happily spend your life healing his wounds, the ones on the outside and the ones that were harder to see.
Everything: @gambitwinchester​ @princessmisery666​ @peridottea91​ @emilyshurley​ @beenlovingromansincedayoneish​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @waywardbaby​ @atc74​ @mariekoukie6661​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @terrarium-jpeg​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crashdevlin​ @jules-1999​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @sammyimpala-67​ @queenoftheunderdark​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @timelordy-fangirl2​ @sweetness47​ @hobby27​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @becs-bunker​ @sandlee44​ @supernaturalgrandma​ @volleyballer519​ @kdfrqqg​ @lizette50​ @sorenmarie87​ @lovealways-j​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @spnbaby-67​ @wayward-and-worn​ @asthesunwentdown​ @vulgar-library​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @petit
 Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee​ @flamencodiva​ @deanwinchesterswitch​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @focusonspn​ @akshi8278​ @ladywinchester1967​ @sgarrett49​ @wingedcatninja​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @ellewritesfix05​ @weepingwillowphoenix​ 
179 notes · View notes
nevertheless-moving · 3 years
Text
Suicidal Misunderstanding AU Part V (SW Time Travel AU #27)
Part I - - - - -  Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV 
After a meandering walk through what felt like every path the hanging gardens and marsh pools had to offer, Obi-Wan stopped to lean against a stone wall. 
“Obi-Wan? Are you ready to stop and eat something? As nice as this has been, I’m getting hungry and I’m guessing you are too.” 
Anakin was only being a little sarcastic. It had genuinely been nice to peacefully spend the day with Obi-Wan like this- they hadn’t been to the marsh habitats since the war started. He had resigned himself to watching Obi-Wan enthusiastically greet every wandering knight, master, and elder who they passed. 
It was actually starting to become impressive- Anakin never realized how many members of the Order his Master was friendly with- no wonder he was given a seat on the high council! But after the last heartfelt clasping of hands with a completely unfamiliar Bothan (thankfully for Anakin’s petty jealousy, Obi-Wan wasn’t hugging everyone), Anakin had asked who the knight was.
Obi Wan frowned. “No idea. But I suppose I must have seen him somewhere.” 
Anakin was no longer feeling impressed.
When a group of crechelings wandered by, Obi-Wan appeared briefly overwhelmed with emotion. His shields (apparently even better drunken than sober) didn’t let anything specific slip. But he knew Obi-Wan was feeling something intensely. Bizarrely, instead of saying hello, Obi-Wan hurried out and away with Anakin dragged behind, bringing them back to the stone wall and their skipped breakfast.
“Not yet.” Obi-Wan responded hoarsely. “I want to visit the Room of A Thousand Fountains first, and say a few more goodbyes.”
“Goodbyes?” Anakin asked, a slight chill running down his back. “We’re not shipping back out until the end of the week. Do you always say goodbye to everyone this thoroughly before redeployment?”
“No. Do you think I should have?” Obi-Wan frowned. “I feel like that would have been more upsetting than anything else.”
“Ok then, why are you saying goodbye now? To the whole order?” 
Obi-Wan didn’t reply, he just pushed off the wall to continue on his quest to apparently visit every corner of the temple.
“Master, please, you’re worrying me. If you won’t eat, then let me take you to the Healing Halls so they can check you over for drugs. We can visit the fountains after.”
Obi-Wan finally paused, thinking that over. “I would like to see Bant. She should be there, right?”  
Bant did end up being there, and was more touched than disturbed by Obi-Wan’s sincere joy to see her. While Obi-Wan wandered the halls greeting injured Knights, she ran several tests.
“As far as I can tell, all you had last night was human-appropriate alcohol. No force-user specific drug interactions, and no traces of Spice. It’s possible there’s something I missed, but your force presence doesn’t feel off balance in the manner I specifically associate with drug-induced altered perception. Your blood sugar is a little low and you’re somewhat dehydrated, especially considering you’re in the temple, not out on a mission.”
“I’ll take care of my physical needs after I visit the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Just because a vision isn’t purely induced by the force doesn’t mean I can’t draw meaning from it. I do appreciate how you always looked out for me though, Bant. I’ve missed your fussing.” Obi-Wan smiled, clasping one of her hands in his.
Bant sighed, “If Master Yoda wasn’t off world I’d urge you to talk to him. I haven’t seen you this shaken by a vision since we were younglings. Even if you do seem to be handling it fairly... calmly.” 
Obi-Wan laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that someday. I might be wrong, but I think he’ll be happy to learn about-” Obi-Wan gestured around vaguely, “all this. I’ll talk to him at some point. I’m sure of it.” 
She glanced over at Anakin, who had been a quietly looming shadow the whole visit. He seemed both relieved by the diagnosis as well as bewildered. “Can I speak to you privately?”
Obi-Wan nodded and Anakin stalked out of the test room. 
She scrutinized him, worry more obvious now, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you slipping tenses this whole time. You’re still not sure where your vision ends and reality begins, are you? Do you even know when you are?”
Obi-Wan looked down. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I’m just...enjoying not fully living in the moment. I have every intention of waking up.”
“Yeah, that’s a BIG red flag, Obi-Wan. Force.” She tilted her head back and forth, examining him with obvious concern. “I am scheduling an appointment for a soul healer and you are going to go, understand?” She demanded.
Obi-Wan agreed far too easily. She reluctantly let him leave with an earnest promise to eat something real.
Obi-Wan came outside to find Anakin pacing. 
“I’m glad you’re still here,” he told his former Padawan, ignoring the ache in his chest.
“Of course Ori’vod,” Anakin said, ducking his head with a shy smile. “What did Bant say?”
“She wants me to eat something real and visit a soul healer.” Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, I can do at least one of those things.”
“A soul healer! She thinks you’re crazy?” Anakin asked offended. 
“First of all, you don’t have to be unstable to visit a soul healer. I’ve seen them in the past, when there wasn’t as much wrong with me. I’m sorry if I led you to believe you couldn’t seek out help for your problems.” Obi-Wan said. Another mistake.
“I-I know that. I just thought, you know, Jedi can be judgmental of that sort of thing. A good Jedi is supposed to be able to just, meditate stuff away.” Anakin said bitterly.
Obi-Wan thought furiously. Was this why he had been so blindsided by Anakin’s fall? Had his padawan been so afraid of judgement that he hid all of the warning sides of his struggles with darkness? Maybe he could ask Owen for some sort of petty assistance when he brought over bantha milk next time, to demonstrate to young Luke that it was ok to ask for help. No, he was probably still too young for those sorts of lessons to have much meaning. The insight would require meditation, when he was more sober. 
Unsure how ‘Anakin’ would respond, Obi-Wan tentatively said, “You’re right, that some Jedi might judge for seeking such aid. But I think in the last years of the war, that sort of opinion became less and less common. After all, an ideal Jedi shouldn’t be leading an army. I don’t know if anyone can be perfect during war, let alone a peacekeeper.”
When that failed to garner positive or negative reply, Obi-Wan let out a breath. “It hardly matters, since I can’t exactly visit a therapist, let alone a soul healer, given my present living conditions.” 
Anakin seemed to process that, giving Obi-Wan a long, searching look. “What’s your next point?”
“Hmm?”
“You said first of all, and I think that was all one thing, so what’s your second point?”
“Not exactly being able to visit a soul healer regularly doesn’t count as a separate retort?”
“I guess? I’m just trying to understand what you’re trying to tell me” A twinge of frustration crept into Anakin’s otherwise level tone.
"I appreciate that, truly, and I regret the number of hurtful miscommunications that sprung up from me failing to do just that. Well, I suppose, by most reasonable standards, I am ‘crazy.�� Getting some help with unraveling my mind would probably be best, if it were an option, but it isn’t so...” Obi-Wan shrugged.
Before any followup questions could be asked, they finally arrived at the main entrance to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The archway was stunning, water flowing upwards along the stone in intricate, shifting tessellations. When they stepped through, Obi-Wan was delighted to see Mace Windu sitting on a bench by the entrance. 
“Mace! I was hoping to see you.”
Mace looked at him. He seemed at first, to be utterly unsurprised by the duo’s arrival. But the longer he stared, the more visible shock overtook his features. “Master Koon recommended I look for you...force what happened.”
Obi-Wan just chuckled. “Oh you know. What didn’t happen.”
“What’s wrong?” Anakin asked urgently. “What do you see, Master Windu?”
Obi-Wan tried to wave them both off, laugh a little more forced. “Please, I came here to relax. I’m sure it would be easier to say what’s not wrong with-”
“Kark it, Obi-Wan this isn’t a joking matter.” Master Windu’s voice was calm, but insistent. He slowly started approaching Obi-Wan as though the fellow council member were a feral loth-cat. 
“You look as if...nearly every shatter point around you has broken open. Force, I think you’ve been carrying some of these with you since you were a child. Usually when things that deep break...And some of these- some of these are too big to have just affected you.” Mace hesitantly reached forward, brushing against something invisible.
A chill ran down Anakin’s spine, again. What the kriff did Obi-Wan see in his vision? Last night he mentioned the temple burning, their rooms turned to ash, and Anakin had just...let that go in favor of greedily spending time with this addictively affectionate version of Obi-Wan.
“Mace...” Obi-Wan groaned. “I had been wondering what you might say to me but this is...please, can’t you just give me a hug and let me enjoy the peace for one more hour.”
“Master Kenobi,” Mace said, seeming to revert to an even more serious version of himself. “What I see cracked open around you is bigger than the reemergence of the Sith on Naboo, bigger than the first battle of Genosis. Whatever has happened, you cannot possibly keep it to yourself, practically or morally.”
To the shock of both Windu and Skywalker, Obi-Wan actually rolled his eyes at that. “Mace. You are not telling me anything I do not already know. And I am choosing to spend a little longer enjoying the unique joys of the Temple before dealing with the harshness of reality. Haven’t I earned a small break? I’m not abandoning my duty, but if I don’t take care of myself where I can I’ll go madder than I already have.” 
At no point did Obi-Wan’s voice get whiny or upset, he just calmly dropped a series of bombshells like he was repeating an argument.
Mace and Anakin exchanged glances, but if Mace was trying to communicate something, it was utterly lost on Anakin. 
“Alright, Master Kenobi. I trust your judgement.” 
And, to Anakin’s shock, Mace pulled Obi-Wan for a tight hug. “And I care about you, Obi-Wan.”
For a brief, hysterical moment, Anakin Skywalker wondered if he was about to witness his Master break down crying on the shoulder of Mace Windu the Master of the Jedi Order.
But Obi-Wan just let out a slow breath and returned the embrace before bowing deeply in Respect. Windu returned the bow with a placid expression. 
“If you’ll excuse me...I think I’d like to stand by the waterfall alone for a moment.” He paused, turning to address Anakin. “If you’re willing to wait for me, I’ll happily rejoin you by the glowing mushrooms.” Anakin nodded silently and Obi-Wan beamed before leaving the two alone together.
Mace turned to the young knight in a silent demand for answers, and, for once, Anakin was eager to share what he was dealing with. “He came back drunk last night, talking about the temple burning down, and being well-”
“Unusually emotionally expressive?” Mace offered.
Anakin nodded. “Took a blood sample to analyze in the morning. He woke determined to hug every sentient being in the temple. I actually managed to get him to the halls just before we came here; Master Eerin said there was nothing in his system and...I just don’t know. He’s been off today, but not in a bad way, exactly. Could a vision have caused the shattering you saw?
Mace furrowed his brow. “Not any vision like I’ve ever seen but...these are dark times. And Master Kenobi has had historically bad luck. If some new cataclysm is coming for us- I absolutely believe he’d be the first of us to stumble into it. Something terrible and extraordinary must have happened in the 24 hours since I last saw him in person.”
A beat passed.
“I should go to the mushrooms before I lose track of him,” Anakin said quietly.
Mace nodded. “Skywalker, if you need assistance dragging him back to the healers for whatever reason, comm me, understood?” 
“Understood. Master Koon said the same.” the Knight replied, heart pounding.
The Windu clasped him on the shoulder firmly, "I’m going to check in with Master Eerin. It’s possible she has some suspicions that my observations will help her confirm. Until then...”
“I’ll look out for him.” Anakin promised.
Part VI
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bunchofstraydogs · 3 years
Text
Dazai Osamu character breakdown as I understand him
Meaning that this might be inaccurate and your opinion and visage of him might differ from mine, which is just fine. We perceive the world and the people around us through our experiences and expectations. I'm curious to know how you guys see a complex character like Dazai, just please respect everyone's opinions.
Warning: Manga plot mentions, s2 spoilers, BEAST light novel spoilers, Dazai Osamu
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Dazai Osamu was introduced into the scene of Bungou Stray Dogs at 14 when Mori found him.
Even at that young age, Dazai had suicidal tendencies and had been wrapped in bandages similarly as he is in the present. Already dealing with too much trauma for a child his age, the fire is fuelled as he was forced to bear witness to the death of the Port Mafia boss at the hands of Mori, the person that took him under his wing. To use him; which was becoming very apparent to Osamu if he hadn't been aware since the start. Now, I'm not saying that death of the previous boss left a particular scar on Samu, he even agrees with it and is something he himself would have done. But that that is the scene that bore fruit of the following quotes:
"Or could it be that you're afraid, Mori-san? That one day i will slit your throat and take over as the boss?"
followed by
"Everyone seems suspicious to those who have an axe to grind."
This tells us right away that he can tell what type of person you are just from the way you perceive your surroundings, which is logical, but not something many think too deep into.
Even less who have their evaluations of others on point like he does. And he has to, since Dazai's plan is always to understand his allies, his enemies, possible allies and possible enemies. He also takes into account important neutral parties that can still, in one way or another, affect the outcome of his plans or decide to align with one side out of common interest. After comes realising the main goals, along with side achievements (just in case some of those maim his allies or ruin the future plans he made) of every party. Taking in their morals and motivation, and being familiar with the ground the confrontation will happen on, he now has the view of the whole chess board and it's pieces in his head. He moves his allies in the right places, knowing how they'll react in the situation to come, and awaits the enemies with open fire arms. He was tought to think like that. At all times. Mori made sure of it. You know how specialists never really stop thinking in their areas of expertise, like doctors, for example, will naturally notice people's posture and look for scoliosis or whatever? How your foot hits the floor, if you're walking straight, your knees and shoulders, etc. Same for Dazai. His brain maps out person's expressions, reactions, choices, personality, etc. in great detail. I'm pretty sure he has eidetic memory, if his conversations in manga with Fyodor are anything to go by.
Another thing his brain does is think of worst possible outcomes.
Not in a fear of what if things go wrong, but as a possible route. He uses it to determine how big of a threat the opposing force is and what steps they'll have to take to achieve that. Knowing that, he'll know how to intercept them. Also, like everything else, it's not something he can control since we're talking about thought process here and that's just how his brain works. Can't magically turn that off. It's especially annoying to him when he's genuinely enjoying himself with, let's say, ADA members and then his brain goes brrr.
•"A lot happened recently and we're a torn in many people's eyes." *Tanizaki and Atsushi drinking punch* "There's a possibility, while a small one, about 8% at this very moment, but as time goes on will increase, that an organisation outside of Yokohama decided we're an unavoidable threat and poisoned the drinks. Don't drink that. Nothing will happen, they'll wake up tomorrow in pristine condition don't drink th-"
Yeah, i feel bad for him too.
He has PTSD and insomnia, besides the hectic brain,
so he's not getting proper amount of rest. Actually, he drinks almost every night by himself at home. Pretty sure it's canon as well, because if you search for a picture of him in his room, you'll see him surrounded by multiple bottles. Two of the PTSD symptoms are hallucinations and night terrors (no, that is not the same as a nightmare). What people usually do is use opium to cause hallucinations in a safe environment so that there's little chance of them happening uncontrolled. He's probably using alcohol to numb himself while he's reminiscing, since if he does still have hallucinations after years having passed by (which isn't impossible), they're probably few and far between. Not saying there's no chance he isn't using opium. He would know where to get what he needs, after all.
Osamu's haunted by his own actions as well, not just by trauma caused to him.
At an uncountable amount of occasions, he found himself looking into a mirror and not really comprehending his image. It was like dissociation. Looking through a fog at what's supposed to be your carbon copy, but not knowing all of your features perfectly, so whatever you're seeing could only be an impostor, yet you're not sure because that would take comprehending physical proof of your life to the fullest and how it works and he just... can't. He can but he doesn't want to. He already knows he's despicable and broken, doesn't really feel the need to see just how much. He can't, for all his perfect memory, remember the faces of the people he has killed. He hadn't even seen all of them, but he was responsible for their demise. Causing havoc and misfortune in general through other crimes besides murder as well. We've seen his expression when he listened in on Atsushi talking to Kyouka over the earpiece how the 35 deaths don't matter anymore. He knows they do and he knows that the change of heart won't justify what he's they've done. Ango thought him to value each life. But he also knows that even murderers can change and become good. Oda did that. It's also what's keeping him in the agency.
When Oda died, his last words mentioned that Dazai doesn't care about good or bad and that was correct for Dazai Osamu back then. I genuinely think that his present self does mind the difference.
He believes in necessary evil and will do dark shit to get the good outcome he's envisioned.
He doesn't separate outlaws and lawful people, however.
He knows that generally speaking, the line is thin and easy to cross and that many were born or forced into the situations they are. Those that fight the life thrown at them are an exception, not a rule. That's also why he likes Atsushi, probably the main reason. The boy has every right to hate the world and yet. Dazai is envious, he doesn't really have the same capacity.
I want now to talk about why does Dazai Osamu do what Dazai Osamu does.
The reason he attempts suicide, joined the mafia, made friends at all, is because for all his intelligence and observations, ability to understand others, he doesn't really understand himself.
He doesn't understand his worth. He doesn't understand his purpose. In all of that confusion, he finds no reason to live. He laughs but can't get the high, he bruises but can't fully heal. In all of the things people find happiness in he can't feel joy from. He is emotionally stunted. He thinks too logically. He doesn't understand actions out of emotions because to him, it doesn't make sense. Emotions cloud your mind and when you're not thinking straight, you make mistakes. Plain and simple. He just accepts it, that most people simply cannot control themselves and prefer lashing out instead of methodical approach. All the better for him, he has leverage. Even when he does act on impulse, which is incredibly rare and not as explosive and dramatic, his brain rationalises it as to why his actions were a good way to go. And if his reaction was one that bore fruit, than it was a tactical one.
"If you place yourself somewhere close to raw emotions, where you're exposed to raw violence and death, instinct and desire, you can brush against man's true nature. I though that way i could find a reason to live somehow."
From this, i can tell that he was hoping that, in a situation where he's pushed far enough, he'd realise what's important to him, what he wants to protect or destroy, what's one thing he wouldn't want to leave unsettled before dying. What is that one thing he'd regret dying before achieving? What should he fight death for. What is worth living on for? To him, it doesn't matter if that something is good or evil as long as he gets to keep it in his life.
It seems he hadn't found it exactly, but is satisfied with what he has for now, in the agency, to just keep going. But he still tries to commit suicide, hoping that one day, when the clear picture of the world around him is fading away, when he's becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen, when he's loosing control over his body and thoughts don't seem to flow well, there will be one thing, anyone, screaming at him to fight it. New day new chances. It didn't happen today, better luck tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomo-.
Now, like Mori, Dazai feels the need to, at all times, be in control of the situation. Including people.
That means no one, but perhaps Ranpo due to his own abnormal intellect, is aware of their own role. They know their mission, but they're not expecting to be given that particular one because they'll come across an obstacle they would react to in a way that would satisfy Osamu's plans.
Dazai Osamu is more of a chemist, than a chess player, if you ask me.
Throwing different people into the mix, under different conditions at different times and is noting down their reactions in safe surrounding if possible, so that when the time calls for it, he'll be able to make a perfect concoction for the predicament. A chemist and his substances; A chess player and his pawns; A puppeteer and his puppets. Now, Dazai is meticulous and never rash, but like everyone else (except effin Lovecraft what is he even) he's only human and he bleeds when he falls down and humans aren't perfect. He isn't always right. That means he makes mistakes. The issue with big shot players that control the board is that, when they fall down, everyone on their side crashes and burns as well. So the day Dazai fucks up everyone else will follow because of lack of insight on their part that's completely out of their control. All it takes is for him to underestimate or overestimate one person and chaos ensues. There is no such thing as happy little accidents small mistakes for someone like him. I have crippling anxiety and a sole thought that one hiccup could blow up in everyone's face... damn. I would try committing suicide myself. But it's his fault, he brought upon himself an obligation and pressure like that. To be fair, it was Mori that drilled that type of thinking where no one should know what you plan because they can't ruin what they don't know If they turn against you, they can't stop you.
For his own sake, and everyone else's, Dazai needs to learn how to show his cards and share the burden.
Again, going back to the emotionally stunted guy that has commitment issues (where he either can't commit or can't let go) trope.
He never outright does something good for someone where people would acknowledge it, he uses his underhanded tactics here as well.
He casually makes himself look like a bad guy, an asshole, to conveniently move attention from the inner turmoil a person is struggling with to a present problem at hand that they can fix and let their frustrations out on. But he hopes that, one day, someone just might notice his intentions for what they are and do the unspeakable- see through him.
"I'm a very private person. You don't ask, i don't tell."
Yes, and your whole existence is just a huge cry for help. He wants to be asked. He's begging for attention. A specific type of attention. One that will see him without making him feel imposed on. One that will understand his sins without making a big deal out of it. Accept him as a person he is, makes him feel like one as well. Makes him feel alive. Makes him feel... period.
The day he finds that thing is the day he completely turns his life around and fully dedicates to it. It's where the part of not being able to let go commitment issue ensues.
Since Oda's death he's been secretly keeping an eye out on possible ways to bring him back. If you've read Beast AU you know that when Dazai gets his hands on the book, he'll create a universe where Oda doesn't die. Should he find an ability user that can bring back the dead, just tell him what it will take, he's ready to destroy his own soul for it and if that isn't enough, well, he'll have no hesitation ruining theirs. After all, BEAST!Dazai Osamu never actually met Odasaku, he just had the memories he'd gotten from his canon self and that was enough for him to do everything he did.
He's incredibly selfish and has a weird come in but the door is a wall dynamic he rolls with in his self imposed solitude.
It's like the walls of the space in my brain are ugly and terrifying, so i closed off the entrance to keep myself in. I'm doing you a favour but please break the wall down and tell me it's okay to come out i don't want to be here-
Happy little thoughts woah woah yeah~
That's what i got from what I've seen of him. I may have missed some things, some things might prove to be wrong as the series progress further, but yeah.
There is, however, one more thing i want to put out here. Since Dazai was already like this before Mori found him, that begs to question as to why? What happened to him?
Now, since the characters are based on real people, is it crazy to say that Dazai Osamu has had a horrible childhood because of his father? Real life Dazai was terrified of his dad and was very intimidated by him. He always tried to stay in his good graces out of fear of punishment. Neither of his parents felt like a parent to him, actually. His father didn't care and his mother was often ill, but did care for him when she could. Both of them died eventually.
This could be the plot Kafka based Dazai's background on, but we'll have to wait and see.
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bookofmirth · 3 years
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I’m seeing a lot of people dismiss Elucien by claiming Elain doesn’t want him and “shrinks” away from him. I wanted to get your take on this. Cause how I see it is Elain desperately wants to feel in control again which is why she is pushing Lucien away. She has suffered tremendous trauma from being kidnapped by Hybern, turned into a fae against her will, being told she has a mate, her fiancé leaving her, having powers thrust on her she doesn’t understand, being kidnapped again, losing her father, and now having to pretend everything is fine because she sees how her sisters were struggling with their own trauma.
All these things happening to her and she hasn’t dealt with any of them, and that includes the mating bond. She hasn’t rejected it or accepted it. She just ignores it’s existence including Lucien himself. Given she has had over a year and still won’t even discuss the bond makes me think that is her way of taking control back. That she’s telling the Cauldren or the Mother or Fate to fuck off by deciding the bond doesn’t exist.
So seeing some other people claim that she doesn’t want Lucien I have to question that if that was definitively the case why doesn’t she outright reject the bond? Why drag out this feeling of limbo by ignoring Lucien or “shrinking” away from him? I see it as her taking control of her life back. She’s deciding she won’t deal with this thing that was pushed onto her by some divine entity. Same way she has pretended until ACOSF that her powers were gone.
And regarding the other unnamed ship for Elain I think that’s also a control thing. I think she genuinely cares about him. He saved her life many times and made her feel safe in this new crazy world she was pushed into. I just think that connection she has to him is the same as any traumatized person would have to someone who rescued them/experienced that same pain. I think maybe Elain is pushing for more in that connection because she feels this is a choice she made and not Fate. This relationship would be her taking control back. Which is why I could see them sharing intimacy that essentially will leave her feeling unfulfilled, especially considering his POV is more about what he thinks Fate owes him. Basically they would both be using each other.
Sorry I seriously could go on for another few paragraphs talking about how even in ACOTAR Elain was portrayed as the easy going one and that may be further evidence of her not dealing with her feelings… there I go again. This is a lot [insert I just have a lot of feelings gif].
This is really long, and I love you for your thoughts, and I am not one bit sorry that this took me like 45 minutes to write.
This argument is honestly the one that drives me crazy the most because we literally do not know what Elain wants. People keep saying “she’s not interested” or “they never talk” or “there’s no interaction” etc. Are they supposed to discuss the mating bond and their deepest feelings and thoughts about one another at Starfall, or winter solstice, or some other family function in front of literally everyone they know??? 
I’m sorry, but did we get an Elain book that I missed? A Lucien book? No, we’ve gotten Feyre’s story, and Nesta and Cassian and a bit of Rhys. Not once have we gotten a POV in which we could see Elain and/or Lucien discussing how they feel about one another without someone else present and/or interfering, without that information being filtered through someone else’s perception of how they feel.
And tbh? I think that’s telling. To me, that means it’s being saved for a future book.
Regarding the way that Elain supposedly shrinks from Lucien - again, if she really didn’t want to be around him, Feyre and Rhys would make that happen. 
In acowar, their interactions were quite different because she had just been Made, her powers were still unknown, she was still mourning Graysen and her father. Elain had a lot going on. I always like to compare it to feysand, and what Feyre’s reaction would have been if she knew about Rhys being her mate as soon as she met him in acotar. There’s no way in hell should would have just instantly thrown Tamlin over for him. Why would we expect Elain to be able to make that shift in her affections so easily?
In acosf, page 311, there is “tightness” in her face when she makes an excuse for not being around, and this is Cassian’s POV.
Page 602, again Cassian’s POV: “Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that new-found boldness to be seen.”
Any conjecture about why she reacted that way is 100% pure speculation. 
She could be feeling what Lucien feels because of the bond, and from what Cassian says it’s not a pleasant feeling. 
She could be unsure of what Lucien expects of her. 
She could be repulsed by him.
She could have such strong feelings that she shrinks because she has a difficult time hiding them (and she’s usually really good at hiding them). 
She could feel such an intense pull towards him that she physically withdraws. 
We literally do not know!!!
To me, it mirrors Wings and Embers when Nesta and Cassian were attracted to one another and he licked her neck, then she kicked him in the balls. I mean we literally have examples of this with the other mated couples where they are drawn together but still turn away from one another. However, we also got to see feysand and nessian one-on-one, from their own POV. We haven’t had that with elucien yet so any argument that says the above (she’s not interested, they never interact, etc.) has no basis in what we know. 
What we do know is that she hasn’t rejected the bond. Whatever those reasons are, Elain could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now, but she hasn’t. I actually don’t think she runs from her problems, at least not all the time. I know that people keep arguing that, but I’m not convinced. I’ll make a separate post about that. 
Hell, Lucien could have rejected the bond a thousand times over by now!!!! Elain isn’t the only one who can do that, right?! And why would he choose to let it remain, when this pull is having such an effect on him? When Rhys said that it can make people go crazy if it’s not consummated? Like? Lucien has agency in this too, and of the two of them Lucien has a much larger stake in not letting this continue. 
There is a year of potential interactions between them that we have zero evidence of and so claiming that they haven’t happened is like one of the priestesses saying that the sky doesn’t exist because they never see it.
My final point is that I think that we haven’t gotten this information because it’s endgame, because it will get its own book and become fully developed when it’s not filtered through other characters’ perspectives.
Okay my actual actual final point is that idgaf how Az plays into all of this because she can want to kiss him in that one scene, and everything I said would still be true. I think you’re right that they can find comfort in one another because he rescued her (and he also rescued Gwyn) and because he was trying to put her at ease in acomaf (because it was his job), and Az intentionally made himself seem unthreatening. Elain doesn’t feel the same pressure or expectation from Az as there is from Lucien, so yeah, she feels more comfortable around him. She can smile blandly and he can say “no Elain can’t do that” and it doesn’t challenge anything about their lives.
-fin-
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kvwviiju · 2 years
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Sorry if this is out of pocket but can you confirm that you support #unwhitewashtbb? You’re my favourite bad batch artist and ive had to unfollow so many for not supporting and it’d kill me if I had to do the same here
firstly, yeah. of course i do. my exact opinions are as follows:
• tbb clones and clones as a whole are whitewashed in the last few seasons of tcw + tbb
• this is a conscious choice that I don’t understand as both an artist and an animation student
• the clones are portrayed by a māori man and, as clones, should look like him.
• having tbb look slightly different than Jango wouldnt bother me as it’s implied their genes or whatever were manipulated during the cloning process + temuera Morrison is mixed race, but that’s not what we got - we got whitewashing. there’s a difference between subtle changes in appearance for marketing and design purposes, and just flat out altering their skin tone and physical traits based on stereotyping (wrecker being the ‘brute’ looking the most Maori, tech being smart looking the most Caucasian, etc)
with all that being said and my support confirmed, i also think #unwhitewashtbb has been coopted by white artists/content producers looking for validation. their idea of activism is making content to appeal to a specific woke crowd (usually of other white people) who will spread their work with the intent of gaining attention and followers, without actually taking the time to a) support the movement, and b) uplift the POC creators/fans etc who are actually affected. they’re capitalising on the movement for publicity rather than out of genuine concern. They don’t care about the actual issue. It’s just white people sharing the work of other white people whilst patting each other on the back about how ‘woke’ they are, whilst the people affected are left to sit in the corner and watch.
im not saying that every artist (particularly white artists) depicting clones with darker skin tones is attempting to wrongly capitalise on the movement - not at all, drawing the clones with the correct skin tone should be encouraged. I myself make an effort to draw clones with the correct skin tone, or alter their facial features to look more like Temueras - but I don’t expect praise for and I certainly don’t try and label is as activism, because ultimately it’s the bare minimum. The whole reason you even had to send this ask is because I don’t feel the need to make a song and dance out of it. I’m talking about white artists who flood the #unwhitewashtbb tag with art with the intent of gaining followers as a result, who use the movement solely to grow their own brand rather than uplift POC voices. they’re prioritising their own need for validation for their wokeness and their shameless desire for praise over the voices and struggles of the actual POC affected. They label what they’re doing as a form of activism when in reality it’s just performative at best. They don’t make an effort to share POC work, fan content, or even thoughts/feelings. They’re making the movement about themselves because they’re ultimately more concerned about being seen as racist than actually preventing racism.
not to mention that it’s largely this demographic that overwhelmed the movement and turned it from something constructive and positive into something hateful by attacking animation teams, fan artists, and voice actors in what was ultimately just childish attempts to outdo each other at being progressive. they completely crippled the movement and are part of the reason we’ve struggled to be taken seriously or see any change. this doesn’t even begin to touch on the amount of fetishisation of Māori perpetuated by these people.
so, tl;dr: tbb and clones as a whole are whitewashed and that needs to be fixed, but #unwhitewashtbb has become a mess of white people attempting to outdo each other for woke points, who ultimately have only succeeded in silencing the voices of the POC who founded the movement and are affected by the issue.
If you, like me, are white and care about #unwhitewashtbb, the best and most constructive thing you can do is to just listen. amplify the important voices instead of adding your own to the mix and fucking up the message because ultimately (and this may come as a shock) this isn’t about you. It isn’t hard.
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Text
One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored
WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS
GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)
FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10
TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10
SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10
MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10
Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.
Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.
TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10
FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10
Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10
Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10
OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.
Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10
Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11
KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10
Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN
Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12
Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:
So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10
DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10
Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs
Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10
TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10
To sum it up—
GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10
If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)
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amajikilvr · 3 years
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ugh i love your fluffy alphabet on tamaki 🥺 so if it's okay, can you do one for bakugou, too?
headcanon corner - katsuki bakugou sfw alphabet
word count 1.8k
reader type gender-neutral
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
In the beginning, Katsuki’s affection will come out quite stubbornly and will be harder to see at times. Later on, it’s obvious how much he cares for you. His heart is full of love despite his aggressive attitude. He’s not afraid to show PDA, no matter who’s watching, and you’re often the recipient of his rare compliments. Katsuki is always ready to say “I love you”.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
That’s a tricky one. Befriending people isn’t exactly on Katuski’s radar, but he’d prefer someone who could “keep up with him” if so to speak. Reliable helps too. This friendship might start with him genuinely, although reluctantly, praising your quirk or skills.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
“This is fuckin’ stupid,” He’ll mumble as he wraps his strong arms around you, but he’s loving every minute of it. Katsuki’s down to snuggle in front of everyone, but if you’re the one initiating, he’ll be a tad bit embarrassed and no one dares point it out. When you two are completely alone you’ll get to see his softer side and you might even be the big spoon for once.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
He’ll want to settle down in a sense that he needs to be sure that they’re his and he’s theirs. The method of doing so will depend on what’s best for both of you, but moving in together is probably in the cards. Katsuki makes a fantastic roommate because, among his many talents, cooking is one of them. He’s also a bit of a clean fanatic and you might wake up to him vacuuming or doing the dishes at 7 AM or something.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Firstly, he would fight tooth-and-nail against whatever was threatening the relationship because he’s not letting you go easily. If it absolutely came down to ending things, Katsuki would make it straight to the point and as quick as possible. He wouldn’t be able to remain ‘just friends’ with you and would never truly move on in his heart.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)
Katsuki is beyond committed and he firmly believes there are several ways to show it besides putting a ring on it. If you two were to eventually get married it would be later on so your careers could be focused on. He just wants you both to succeed and achieve your dreams more than anything, but if the marriage was something you really wanted, he might consider tying the knot earlier than previously planned.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Although I think Katsuki is actually a sensitive person, he can definitely be on the rough side of things. He can read and interpret others’ emotions, but relating to them can be a challenge. I don’t believe he’d ever act maliciously towards you or anyone else he cares for. He’s got a soft touch and even the occasional kind words during the most surprising times.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Katsuki’s a bigger fan of kisses, but he does love hugs! He’s always, well, touching you. Huge bear hugs. Squeezy. Warm. The type to literally lift you off of your feet. He’ll leave little tickling kisses on your neck and shoulders while whispering words against your skin.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
He’ll say the words in every possible way… besides actually saying the words. It’s like a mental block of Katsuki’s because he’s admittedly scared of proclaiming his love in such a straight-forward way. Once he gets over that first hump, it’s no problem for him. He won’t be throwing the words around like candy, but he’ll always say what’s on his mind.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Katsuki is emotional and jealousy is a familiar feeling for him. Being a bit of a hothead definitely doesn’t help either. This jealousy stems from his insecurities and can be overbearing. At the beginning of the relationship, it will probably be the cause of some arguments between you two. Later on, jealous Katsuki will just include him being extra pissy and extra cuddly.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Passionate. Always. If he’s kissing you, he’s going all the way. Even during your first kiss, he gave it his all. Sure, it was an awkward mess of spit and teeth, but he was eager and didn’t hesitate! Katsuki’s skills have improved by now and he never fails to showcase them. It doesn’t matter where, if he’s kissing you, then he’s happy. It depends on your preferences. And as for him… his neck is especially sensitive and he’ll never admit it.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Well, after the remedial lessons episode, we know he’s not very good. At all. Despite that, I can imagine him still wanting kids eventually. An “I can’t stand any kid except my own” type.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Katsuki is your typical morning person. He’s up at the same time every day and it amazes you. Well, unless you’re a morning person yourself, that is. If you’re a heavy sleeper then waking you up on time will be his new personal mission. He’ll probably make you a nice breakfast and get as many kisses as he can in before work.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Haha! This guy goes to bed at like 9-pm. He’s got a strict schedule and if you somehow manage to get him to stay up later to watch a movie with you or something, he’s gonna fall asleep on your lap and it’s adorable. It’s the perfect opportunity to play with his soft hair without having to hear him grumble about it the entire time.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
It’s going to take a while to break through his outer shell, but he’s not exactly secretive about his feelings and his past. Katsuki trusts you enough to be open with his mistakes and he won’t hide anything if you just ask.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
I think this one is a bit self-explanatory, but it’s not very often that he gets angry at you.He’s getting better at controlling his anger and you tend to bring out his gentler side too.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)
In the moment, it may seem like simply he brushes it off or doesn’t really acknowledge it, but that’s actually not the case. Katsuki always remembers and takes everything into consideration. The number of little things he keeps notes of might surprise.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
One Saturday afternoon, Katsuki decided he was going to try out a new chocolate cake recipe and you decided you’d try your hand at baking for once! He was absolutely willing to teach you and it was going well… until you somehow managed to drop an egg yolk right on Katsuki’s sock covered foot. His favorite pair of socks at that. The kitchen was quiet until he swifty flicked flour at your forehead and it was game-on from there. The next thirty minutes were filled with lots of flour and kisses.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Katsuki couldn’t be more protective of you and he’s more than willing to use his quirk if needed. He’s prepared to fight for you in the blink of an eye, no question about it. His job as a pro-hero means so much when you’re someone he has to protect, but he also knows it’s a mutual feeling. He completely believes in your own physical abilities to keep him safe and your reassuring words make him truly feel like the greatest.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He’s certainly not lazy when it comes to your relationship, but at the same time, Katsuki finds things like fancy dates and lavish gifts kinda pointless. He couldn’t care less about eating at an expensive restaurant, all that matters is that he’s with you. That’s not to say that he won’t give you nice things because he will be spoiling you, especially on anniversaries and holidays.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
His inferiority complex has always been his biggest enemy. There are times when he just can’t shut off his competitive side and it can turn things ugly when he lets his insecurities get the best of him. His temper is also something he’s struggled with and is still learning how to manage.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Katsuki really doesn’t care about that kind of thing. Of course, it does fuel his ego and boost his confidence when you compliment his looks. He considers himself to be an attractive person, but nothing too special. (You think differently)
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
He likes to believe otherwise, but yeah, he really would. He couldn’t imagine a day without you. It’s just a scary thing for Katsuki to accept that he relies on someone other than himself for once.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He’ll never admit it, but spiders really freak him out. Let’s just say he won’t argue if you offer to take one outside.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Someone who gives up easily would just kinda irritate him. Katsuki knows people struggle, hell, he’s definitely one of them, but seeing someone simply not try and throw in the towel when things don’t go their way is something that would get on his nerves.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
He’s somehow got a cute snore. Yup. It’s not even really a snore, more like some kind of soft breathing noise, but it’s noticeable and something you’ve grown to love. It’s also difficult for Katsuki to fall asleep in places other than his own bed.
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