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principledstarfish · 2 months
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For those of you interested, here's a translation of the complaint to Ea-Nasir about his subpar copper ingots in ancient Sumeria:
Dearest Ea-Nasir,
It is with a heavy heart and an unbridled reservoir of disappointment that I find myself compelled to pen this epistle, addressing a matter of utmost urgency and grave disappointment concerning the recent procurement of what was promised as 'first-rate copper' from your esteemed establishment. The very essence of our agreement, I fear, has been tarnished, much like the purported copper in question, which, upon closer inspection, reveals itself to be of a caliber so deplorably subpar, it could scarcely be deemed fit for the crafting of even the most rudimentary of trinkets.
I must confess, Ea-Nasir, that your assurance of quality, which I held in such high regard, now rings as hollow as the echo of my dreams deferred, bouncing off the walls of the cavernous void where my satisfaction with our transaction once resided. In the grand tapestry of commerce, where trust is the thread that binds buyer and seller in a dance as delicate as it is ancient, you have, I'm afraid to say, introduced a discordant step that has left the melody of our dealings decidedly off-key.
As an aficionada of the finer things, a connoisseur of quality, if you will, I approached our transaction with the expectation that the copper supplied would befit a project of the highest order, a veritable magnum opus. Instead, I find myself in possession of material so egregiously deficient, it would struggle to find purpose as a decorative accoutrement in the most dimly lit of chambers, where its inadequacies might mercifully be obscured by shadow.
In light of this most unfortunate revelation, I must insist upon a recourse that will rectify the injustice of this transaction. It is not merely a refund or an exchange that I seek, Ea-Nasir, but the restoration of faith in the sanctity of commerce, a belief so cruelly shaken by this episode. Let us endeavor to resolve this matter with the grace and dignity it demands, lest the legacy of our dealings be forever marred by the specter of this regrettable incident.
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principledstarfish · 2 months
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Headcanon: In his younger years, Prince Iroh led an unsuccessful siege of Omashu which led to his capture. He was held prisoner (in the good chamber, as the bad one had yet to be refurbished) in King Bumi's palace for months - and regularly had tea and played pai sho with him. They had long conversations about philosophy, history, and quite a lot more (the King of Omashu was fond of testing out new jokes on the prince.) Afterwards, when they held a prisoner exchange, Firelord Azulon paid handsomely to secure his release. A courier then caught up with him a few miles outside the city - bearing a gift from King Bumi. Iroh opened it curiously - and was even more curious at it's contents. Why would King Bumi give him a white lotus tile?
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principledstarfish · 5 months
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Tim Drake: When I'm stressed, I like to think of all the things in my life that are biodegradable. Uh, me, for example. I break down very easily
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principledstarfish · 10 months
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From Heartstopper Ao3's 99 Moments of Joy countdown to season 2. (Transferred here due to Ruzzian DDOS attack)
91 Days: Up to Something
It was around May that Charlie began to suspect that Oliver was up to something. 
The first time was when Charlie went upstairs to tell Olly that it was dinner time. He took a few steps into the bedroom, only to see a curly-haired missile hurl itself against him. Before he could say anything his little brother was pushing him back with all his strength. 
“You can’t come in here!” Olly exclaimed. Charlie stepped back and Olly shut the door behind him. Charlie looked down perplexed. 
“Why not?” Charlie asked. 
Olly rolled his eyes. “Privacy, of course,” he replied. Then he took off and pounded down the stairs to the dining room, leaving Charlie rather nonplussed. For a moment he was tempted to peek inside and see just what it was that made Olly want to keep him out so badly. Then he decided better of it and followed his little brother down the stairs. 
The second time was when Olly returned home from school. Charlie and Nick were snuggled together on the sofa, watching a sweet and wholesome new Hulu drama about these two gay American boys who fall in love in high school, when the warble of Olly’s voice drifted into the room from outside. 
“...from Mrs. Keaton’s art room. I picked yellow and blue, and I think the yellow is going to be the stripes, so -”
Olly pushed the door open, Dad trailing behind. The moment Olly stepped into the room he froze, eyes wide, and stared for just a moment at Charlie and Nick. 
“I’m going to be in my room, so no one bother me!” Olly said, and took off up the stairs, the straps of his bookbag trailing behind him. It might have been Charlie’s imagination, but he could have sworn something was sticking out of the top. 
"What was that about?" Charlie asked. 
Nick shrugged. "Teenage angst?"
"He's eight!" 
Charlie looked over at his father. "Is there someone going on with Olly?" he asked. 
Dad shrugged. "I suppose that's for him to know and you to find out," he said. He padded into the kitchen. 
"What does that even mean?" Charlie asked after him. He received no answer.
The next time was when he saw Olly coming out of his room. He had his hand under his shirt, almost as if he was hiding something. 
“Olly,” Charlie said, “what were you doing in my room?”
Olly froze. “I was… looking for the Switch,” he answered. 
Charlie opened his door. He looked inside. Then he looked at Olly. 
“The Switch is on the shelf where it always is,” he said with narrowed eyes. 
Olly rolled his eyes. “Well I didn’t see it,” he said with a tone of prepubescent exasperation. 
Charlie narrowed his eyes. “What have you got there?” he asked, indicating the hand that was still under Olly’s shirt. 
“Nothing!” Olly insisted. With a smirk Charlie lunged for his brother. Olly dodged and managed to swerve around him. Charlie overbalanced and rolled over, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the wall, and Olly dashed down the hall to his room, slamming the door shut. Charlie could hear the sound of scraping, as if a chair were being propped up against the door to block it. 
Hearing the commotion, Tori poked her head out of her room. 
“Is something going on with Olly?” Charlie asked her. Tori remained silent, simply raising an eyebrow. 
“He’s been acting very strange lately,” Charlie continued, “and he won’t say anything about why.”
Tori continued to remain silent, though a glint had crept into her eyes. 
“Victoria,” Charlie said, now somewhat scandalised, “You know something, don’t you?” 
His sister made no move to confirm or deny this. 
“Well what is it?” Charlie asked, “What’s going on with Olly?”
Tori simply smiled enigmatically. “I’m sure you’d like to know, Charles,” she replied, before slinking back into her room. 
The mystery of what Olly was up to seemed like it would never be solved. A few days later Charlie, Tao, Elle, Aled, and Nick were watching a film in the lounge when Olly entered the door, Mum right behind him. Something square and boxy was very clearly hidden under his shirt, the outline clearly visible as Olly held it up by the hem. 
“What are you smuggling in?” Charlie asked. 
Olly fixed him with a weary, supercilious look. "Charlie, if I were smuggling something in, why would I be stupid enough to smuggle it under my shirt?"
"I never said anything about your shirt," Charlie replied, satisfied that he'd finally caught his little brother in a lie. 
Olly's eyes widened. He froze for a moment. 
"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to!" he said, and took off up the stairs yet again.
"I do want the answers!" Charlie called after him. Nick had collapsed into giggles behind him. Tao and Elle snickered to themselves, while Aled just looked confused. 
Charlie turned to his mum. "What is Olly up to?" he asked. 
Mum's only reply was to smile enigmatically; it was an expression that looked very Tori-like. "You'll find out soon enough," she said. 
Charlie was beginning to despair of ever learning the reason for Olly’s odd behaviour. It was June, and their “thirdaversary” was coming up, so-called because he and Nick could never decide between the day they met, the kiss at Harry’s party and/or the kiss in his bedroom the next morning, or their beach date as their proper anniversary. Charlie was beginning to think maybe he was imagining things - maybe he was going mad, even. He was certain that the photo booth pictures of him and Nick from their beach date had gone missing from their spot in his bedside table, but when he looked for them for the ninth time there they were, tucked away right where he left them. 
When he saw Olly rummaging around in the bin in the kitchen clearly trying to push something to the bottom, he didn’t even bother asking what he was up to. He just walked past him, grabbed his meal plan from the shelf over the sink, and began preparing his usual Monday breakfast. In the reflection of the stainless steel he could see Olly back out of the kitchen, keeping an eye on Charlie until he was out of sight. 
When he heard an exasperated “Oliver!” from Mum, he didn’t even look up from his maths revision. GCSEs were coming up, and he had better things to do than wonder what Olly had done to set Mum off, or why the vacuum was running in his brother’s room, haphazardly at first as someone (Olly, most likely) tried to push it across the floor, then with an irate huff Mum grabbed ahold of it and hoovered up whatever it was herself. 
The day of the anniversary of their beach date, he and Nick had a plan to go to the milkshake stand, just the two of them. After that they were going to go back to Nick’s (Sarah inexplicably had a girls’ night planned and was planning on spending the night at a friends’ rather than drive back) and Nick had promised that he would do That Other Thing, which he had read about after a late night of Googling and was excited to try out, since That One Thing had been such a hit. 
He greeted Nick with a kiss. Nick decided that wasn’t enough and scooped Charlie up, spinning him around before setting him back on the ground, giggling.  
“Your chariot awaits,” Nick said, gesturing grandly. 
Charlie snorted. “Can you really call a used Fiat a chariot?” 
“Oi,” Nick chided, “I don’t see you with a drivers licence.”
“Fine,” Charlie chuckles, “let’s hope Bucephalus doesn’t die before we get there.”
“Bu-what?” Nick asked, nose scrunched. 
“Alexander the Great’s horse,” Charlie explained. 
“Isn’t that Rocinante?” 
“That’s from Don Quixote.” 
“Well then,” Nick replied, “I’m pretty sure the windmills are waiting for us.” 
They turned to leave, only to turn at the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. 
“WAIT!” Olly called after them. 
He skidded to a halt in front of them, holding something behind his back. 
“You can’t leave without this!” he exclaimed, holding something out to them. 
It was a card. 
It was the most over-engineered card Charlie had ever seen.
It was a card made from blue cardstock with yellow stripes glued onto it. A white rectangle had been glued overtop that, and the words “Happy Aniversery!” were spelt out in quite a lot of blue glitter. The entire thing was trimmed in even more glitter, and little gold firework stickers studded the front and the back. 
Olly beamed up at them. 
“Open it,” he said. 
Nick took it from him and opened it. As he did so, a pop-up unfolded, which appeared to be a blown-up version of one of the pictures they had taken in the photo booth at the beach, cut out and glued to more cardstock. The entire thing when closed had to be a little over half an inch thick. 
With the background cut out, the pop-up showed Charlie sat on Nick's lap, Nick kissing Charlie on the cheek. Both of them were blushing very brightly. 
"Is that why you were in my room?" Charlie asked with an indulgent smile.
Olly nodded. "I had to wait ages for you to be gone so I could grab it," he complained, "you're always in there."
Charlie saw the inside of the card was peppered with stickers of falling leaves. Written in yet more glitter were the words “Nick and Charlie,” on one side, and “In any universe,” on the other. 
“Olly,” Nick said, “I can see you worked very hard on this,”
“So do you like it?” Olly asked with wide eyes. 
Charlie crouched down to Olly’s level. “Best anniversary present ever.”
Olly’s face fell. “But you haven’t gotten any other anniversary presents!” 
That wasn’t true, strictly speaking - That One Thing was an early anniversary present, according to Nick, but Charlie wasn’t about to tell Olly that. 
Charlie cupped the back of Olly’s head. “Yeah,” he said, “But I already know it’ll be better than anything else.” 
“You can’t know that,” Olly objected, “Someone might get you a car or a dolphin or a rocket ship or something.” 
Charlie laughed. "Come here, you.” Olly stepped forward into Charlie's arms and Charlie picked him up, holding him like a baby. Then suddenly he felt himself rising into the air with a yelp as Nick in turn picked him up. Olly giggled while Charlie’s face turned extremely red (Nick was wearing a vest that put his strong rugby arms on display, and his muscles were extra-rippley with the effort of picking up Charlie and an 8-year-old at the same time.) Nick kissed him on the cheek. 
He set the both of them down. 
“Do you like it, Nick,” Olly asked, looking up at him. 
“Best anniversary present ever,” Nick said, “just like Charlie said.”
Olly beamed. Then a shadow crossed his face. 
“But I only made one, and I gave it to both of you,” he said. “I didn’t think of that. And you can’t cut it in half like they did to that baby in the story from Grandma’s church, because then the pop-up won’t work.” 
“I think it should stay in Charlie’s room,” Nick replied, “That way I’ll have a reason to come over.”
“Hey!” Charlie objected, punching Nick lightly on a well-muscled shoulder. 
Olly nodded. “That makes sense,” he agreed, “Plus, it’s really nice when you come over, because then I have someone I can beat in Mario Kart.”
“Oi!” Nick objected. Charlie chortled. 
The two of them stood up. “Well,” Charlie said, “shall we go?”
Nick nodded. “It was nice seeing you, Olly,” he said, “Thank you so much for the card.” 
They were getting into Nick’s beat-up yellow fiat when Olly poked his head out the door. 
“I almost forgot,” he called, “there’s a secret message in it, too.” 
Charlie examined the card, turning it over in his hands. He noticed that on the back of the pop-up there was a bit cut out on three sides, and it bulged slightly. Opening it, he found a folded sheet of notebook paper. In Oliver’s looping scrawl, there was a note. 
Dear Charlie and Nick, 
Charlie, you’ve always been a really great big brother, but sometimes it seemed like you were sad and you were pretending you weren’t so you wouldn’t make other people sad, too. Then you met Nick, and you fell in love with him, and you seem a lot happier now, even when you had to go away for a while to get better. 
Nick, you’re like having an extra brother, which is really cool, because that means I have two brother and a sister, and that’s more than anyone else in my class. Also you make Charlie happy, even when he’s really sad or not eating or has to go away to get better, and that’s good. I’m sorry your dad isn’t around a lot, and it seems like you and your brother don’t get along a lot, which is sad, because I know I’d be really sad if I didn’t get along with Charlie and Tori. I think Charlie makes you happy, too, though. 
I’m really glad you met each other, and I can’t wait for you to be together forever and ever and get married and get a house with loads of dogs and I can visit the dogs while I’m an astronaut or whatever job I’ll have as a grown-up. I love you both loads. 
Love,
Oliver. 
 Charlie’s vision blurred, and he wiped his eyes. Nick looked over at him concerned, but Charlie simply smiled and leaned his head on Nick’s shoulder. He stayed that way all the way to the cafe. He was with his person, the one he’d find in any universe, and all was right with the world.  
P.S.: Nick actually properly cried when he read the note. 
P.P.S.: It turns out Charlie really liked That Other Thing. 
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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Few queer Recess headcanons:
1) Spinelli and Mikey are both gay (obviously.)
2) when she's in her early '20s and going to a nearby lesbian bar for the first time, Spinelli is shocked to find Miss Grotke there.
3) 40 years earlier Miss Grotke had the same exact experience with Miss Finster
4) Speaking of Miss Finster, she took part in some of the early Pride marches. One time the administration caught wind that she was still there and called her into the principal's office. Luckily Mr. Prickley was passing by and totally bulshitted something about her doing him a favor and getting pictures of the march for a current events assignment he was giving his students. Mind you he had no idea she was a lesbian until then. Next Pride he was marching right alongside her.
5) She also volunteered caring for AIDS patients in a nearby hospital in the '80s
6) In 2023 TJ is a high school history teacher and he keeps a safe space sticker on his door because two of his best friend are gay and he wants kids like them to know they're always welcome in his classroom.
7) Miss Grotke married her longtime partner soon after Obergerfell v Hodges.
8) Miss Finster was a bridesmaid. Never one to settle down, her current squeeze was her plus one.
9) Mikey is currently a member of a local gay men's choir and a regular at a bear bar in town. He's married and he and his husband are fostering queer teenagers who've been kicked out of their homes.
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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Random DC thought: "Don't Rain On My Parade" would be an excellent song for the trailer to a Margot Robbie Harley Quinn movie, for example if they made a movie called "Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy."
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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Random DC thought: How do you think Damian Wayne would react to being cheated on?
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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CW: discussion of passive suicidality
Dinah: Was your life not working when you let that slip out from under you?
Tim: When are you going to stop suggesting that I’m suicidal?
Dinah: When you start acting like someone that wants to be alive.
Tim: Give me my file.
Dinah: Why?
Tim: Because I’m not suicidal, and if it says that I am, then it’s wrong.
Dinah: What happened last year when jumped out that window?
Tim: I almost fell. Dick caught me. Do you think I did that for kicks?
Dinah: You took on the League of Assassins alone and went on a solo mission around the world to find Batman.
Tim: I was trying to save Bruce!
Dinah: Why is it that every other person has the sense to call for backup? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrists but you’re careless. Probably because your parents told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed them. And if you don’t watch out one of these days you’re going to die because of it.
Tim: Hand me my file. NOW! And don't ever talk about my parents again.
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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So earlier today I had the vague idea for a tattoo (I've been thinking of getting one) that would be the infinity symbol used for Neurodiversity with the words "Define 'normal'" above and below it. I drew it on myself in pen on a whim and like immediately started feeling some shit. As someone who has that extra-spicy AuDHD combo, and who was labeled a problem at an early age and has dealt with what I now recognize as internalized ableism for most of my life, it fucks with my head, but in a good way, like on the scale of when I finally accepted that I'm gay. It's like reclaiming something that's been used against me for a decent chunk of my life, especially when I was a child and had pretty much no power in my life, and taking it for myself, to be used by me. It's that level of something clicking in my head, and now I know my wrist isn't going to feel complete until I get it for real.
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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There's a very specific trope in DC fanfiction that I happen to love, and it's in crossover fics between Young Justice and canon DC where Damian ends up meeting the Team circa season 1, they find out who his parents are, and the Team (mostly Artemis) get squicked out by the idea of Batman and Talia having sex. Multiple fanfics have used this trope and it's always funny.
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principledstarfish · 1 year
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Headcanon: the gay village in Gotham City is the neighborhood around the corner of Timber and Konig streets, thus is commonly abbreviated as TimKon
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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Rhaenyra: I'm not like homophobic. I'm an ally!
Ser Qarl: congratulations?
Laenor: we thank you for your service.
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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Headcanon: surprisingly, r/Superherobuttsightings isn't just pictures of Nightwing from behind. Though Blüdhaven's protector is a fan favorite, most people tend to sleep on Superboy. Conner Kent is thicc. Shots of Red Hood's thighs are also worth good Reddit karma. And no, there is no conclusive evidence that the butts match.
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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Per a statement from the company's CFO, Lucius Fox, Waynetech has announced that all Waynetech products will be geoblocked from tracking user location near any clinic that performs abortions. The Gotham-based tech form is also rolling out a new variant of Waynechat called Waynechat Secure, employing end-to-end encryption and automatically deleting texts after 14 days.
In other news, a number of anti-abortion organizations were the victims of cyberattacks last night, all of them altering the text of their web pages so that all text is automatically converted into the letter "o." As of yet no culprit has been identified.
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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A sullen-looking Bruce Wayne, emo, angsty, and 17 years old is sitting on a bench at the police precinct. Next to him a nonchalant-looking Barbara Gordon, precocious, wearing overalls and a pink shirt with braids, and 8 years old, is sitting at Sergeant Gordon’s desk coloring. A crayon falls over and rolls towards Bruce
BARBARA: Could you get that?’
BRUCE: I can’t. 
BARBARA: Why?
BRUCE: Because I’m handcuffed. 
BARBARA: Why? 
BRUCE: Because I was arrested
BARBARA: Why?
BRUCE: Because I crashed my bugatti.
BARBARA: Why?
BRUCE: Because I was speeding.  
BARBARA: Do you crash all your cars, or just the ones with funny names?
BRUCE: Funny. You should take this on the road. 
BARBARA: Okay. I should probably drive though, since you keep crashing. 
BRUCE: Won’t make a difference anyway. They’ll probably take my license this time. 
BARBARA: Huh. Maybe if you take more lessons you won’t crash anymore. 
Harvey Bullock walks in and picks something up off of his desk
HARVEY: Wayne! You’re getting to be a regular here, kid. (turns to Barbara) Hey princess,
BARBARA: Hi, Harvey! 
HARVEY: Your dad’s gonna be out any minute. He just needs to finish up sorting out Sir Crash-a-lot over here. Oh, and uh, Jeeves is here, too. 
BRUCE: Alfred’s here? 
HARVEY: Yeah, he and the Sarge are hammering a few things out, and they both agreed you’d probably benefit from a little time alone with your thoughts. He’ll be back tomorrow morning to bail you out. 
BRUCE: WHAT!?
BARBARA: (Walks over with a coloring book and a pack of crayons and leaves it next to Bruce on the bench.) Here. In case you get bored. 
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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Damian almost certainly has some level of C-PTSD. His inconsistent characterization actually makes sense when you consider:
1. He was killed by Heretic and brought back
2. First Dick, who is if anything more of a father figure to him than Bruce is, was thought to have died, then he came back from Spyral, then he was shot by KGBeast and literally forgot about Damian.
3. His best friend suddenly aged a good five or six years.
4. Alfred, who was more of a grandfather to him than Ra's ever will be, is murdered by Bane
Suddenly regressing to his early characterization can be contextualized as a pre-teen and young teenager acting out due to trauma and regressing to familiar, if unhelpful, coping mechanisms.
If anything, it's possible that his relationship with Respawn will be something that he finds grounding; being able to bond and empathize with someone who shares a lot of the same trauma may give him a better ability to empathize with himself, and seeing his own behaviors from an outsider's perspective will make it more obvious to him which behaviors are healthy and which ones are unhealthy.
Time to debunk some misconceptions about damian wayne
That's his some kind egunecist first all no again the blood son stuff is dcau only again what damian in comics says "I am the son of the bat
Damian has called dick Grayson and other robins his siblings many times in the comics
No damian does not like to kill and isn't blood thirsty he just got used to having to kill after 10 years of being raised as assassin and eventually has a break down after killing Goliath the dragon bat family
Damian is not feral he was educated very well by leauge and talia can speak many languages and play multiple instruments including the violin and even has degrees in some stuff damian can immate voices perfectly helped build a flying batmobile good at art and sketch really well and even reads shojo manga damian is just as smart as tim
Damian is not selfish when damian died against the heretic he gave his life for dick Grayson damian spent nights under Gotham sewers looking for one of his grandmother pearls just to give to bruce
Damian is not the way his for no reason respawn himself mentions that damian was raised as a prince and told the world would be his and your in shock that his the way he is he was still abused
And no damian is not spoiled as respawn mentioned damian training was so bad that his organs had be replaced including when he was sick which impiles that damian was very sick as a child
Do guys no that damian eyes were originaly blue here the reason their green now this form shadow and bat #3 have look
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Respawn also mentioned that damian was just as much a victim of al ghuls as himself
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principledstarfish · 2 years
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BREAKING: Wayne Enterprises announces that it will cover in full all travel costs associated with reproductive care, and will keep a legal staff on hand to represent any employee sued under a Texas-style bounty law for seeking an abortion.
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