#a lot of my time lately has been spent doing homework or in bed so it feels nice to be able to create something

[dotster001]

Hi i don't know, if your requests are still open, if not you can ignore it or do it whenever you want.

Just readed your prompt, when reader suddenly passes out with Vil, Jamil, Floyd and Rook. I was wondering, if you could write something similar for Malleus, Lilia and maybe the teachers Trein and Crewel?

(I'm happy you enjoyed those! And I hope you like these too!)

Part One Part Three

CW:Burnout (obviously), mental breakdown/trauma in Trein's part, spoilers for Vargas training camp in Trein's part, injury in Crewel's part

A/N: I've said this in my pin post, but I age up characters to actual college age, because I am in college, and didn't realize until a few months in the characters were not. Everyone here is. 18+ If it makes you feel more comfortable, imagine this as a grad school situation.

He's been pouting a lot lately. Which for a normal person wouldn't be a problem, but Mal's pouting usually meant that the weather was bad as well. He was pouty, because whenever you had time in your incredibly busy schedule to see him, you still had to be working on your homework. With everything Crowley had you do for the school, you had to share your "dragon time" with your "homework time". But your boyfriend looked very cute pouty, so part of you wasn't too upset about it.

Until the day you were so busy with something that you hadn't eaten or slept in over 24 hours and just…collapsed during dragon/homework time.

Malleus immediately panics. He assumes you have had a heart attack and died (Mal…college students are unlikely to have heart attacks)  Once he finds a pulse, and sees your breathing, he scoops you up and teleports to Lilia faster than he has ever teleported.

He's sobbing as he answers Lilia's questions, not entirely certain that this wasn't something he did. Lilia easily is able to figure out what has happened, and goes to make you some soup for when you wake up. Malleus is too relieved to think about the fact that while Lilia's soup will have loads of protein, it might send you into shock. In the meantime, he puts a cool cloth on your forehead, and caresses your cheek.

After you wake up and barely survive the soup Malleus spoon feeds you he tucks you into his massive comfy bed (you can't tell me he doesn't have the fluffiest comforters) and then…vanishes.

From here on out, everytime you get a task from Crowley, it's already finished by the time you get around to it. It's weird, but it means you have time to keep homework separate from "dragon time". Which makes a certain fae very happy.

Lilia has spent years learning how to care for humans, especially since most of them *cough* Silver *cough cough* Y/N are not good at caring for themselves.  While his recipes are terrible, he is right in some ways about making sure to get all your nutrients. While it can feel a little patronizing sometimes, he is right that you need sleep. While he is a little unorthodox in how he has fun, he's right that you need to have leisure time and do things you enjoy.

What you don't know is that behind the scenes Lilia has already been having regular arguments with a certain Crow about your workload. When two fae fight, it's never good, but you don't have to worry about what's going on.

Azul and the tweels get called back home out of nowhere, and now you're in charge of all the paperwork that he is usually in charge of handling, both for the lounge and for the other Housewarden's. Lilia sees less and less of his sweet human, and he's suspicious part of it is because you are avoiding him, knowing full well he would make you take a break.

He has to admit, your avoiding skills are actually pretty good. So he's not actually there when you collapse. And he's furious. Especially when he finds out that Crowley also decided to add his own paperwork to your ever growing pile. He only knows you collapsed when he hears some randos gossiping about how "the prefect collapsed running laps today, and the idiot duo had to walk them to the infirmary." He's immediately flying to the infirmary, powered by his pure rage.

He knows it's not your fault, especially since you have nothing to your name in this world, so it's easy to manipulate you into this position. So he does his best not to take his anger out on you as he watches you sip apple juice that the nurse gave you, while you do your best to keep your eyes open. Once he is certain that the nurse has things under control, he kisses your forehead, and asks you if you want him to bring you anything.

While he's out getting you a treat, he makes a stop at a certain Crow's office. From here on out you don't see a lot of him. You are a little worried that Lilia may have killed him, but everytime you ask him, he giggles and messes up your hair, before telling you how silly that is.

He's harder on you than he is on most of his students, partially so that no one can claim favoritism, partially because you are just so far behind in history (having it not be your history) that he has to give you extra work and lessons to catch you up. But as a trade off, he tries to be a step ahead of Crowley whenever he can. There's little that happens in the school that he's unaware of, so he's usually able to protect you from his foolish boss.

Until you get sent to the training camp with the sports clubs to assist Vargas. He's furious about this last minute decision, that Crowley conveniently forgot to tell him about, and he's even more angry when he later finds out that you were "kidnapped" and then immediately had to fight a creature in the mines. 

Naturally, your mental health is not so great after the trip. He's starting to see it on your face when you both hang out, and even if he didn't, your work for his class is deteriorating, if you even turn it in at all. 

Then you break down one day when he asks you about it. He can't understand a word you're saying as you sob and yell and shake. But he's pretty sure he has the idea. You've been pushed too far. He sends Lucius to fetch a nurse or counselor , or heck he's sure even Sam would have something to help you relax enough to just breathe. In the meantime, he wraps his arms around you and tries to walk you through breathing exercises, while whispering some praises to you that you can't comprehend in this state, but appreciate all the same.

After someone gives you a potion that helps you relax a little, he leaves you to rest on his office couch with Lucius in charge, and he holds a meeting with the rest of that staff about what's not appropriate to put people through. (Essentially it's Crewel and Trein yelling at Vargas and Crowley about trauma and what their job is supposed to be) 

This never happens again. You continue to have extra work from Trein, but he always ensures he makes time to help you, or give you a soothing tea if he thinks you're starting to drop back into the bad mental state. If you do, he holds you close, and says nothing, while allowing you to spill whatever is plaguing you. 

Prior to him dating you, you had denied his request many times to financially sponsor you. Now that you were together, it was harder to come up with an excuse for him not to. So he'd purchased Ramshackle and renovated it. He'd taken up the expenses for your schooling and food (after much argument  he'd also taken up Grim's) and after several discussions about the future of your relationship, he'd begun helping you through the process of becoming a citizen in a world that had no proof of your existence (a pain and a half, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for his beloved pup). In doing all this, he'd made it very clear to the Headmage that he had no hold over you, and therefore couldn't coerce you into anything.

Divus knew he was a fool for leaving you alone for a week. He had assumed that Crowley had nothing on you anymore, and that he could go help a smaller fashion designer that showed a lot of promise get their career off the ground. At first he was only going to be gone for a week, but it quickly turned into two, then three. He should have recognized the tension in your voice when you'd asked him over the phone when he thought he'd be back. 

When he finally returned, he thought he'd surprise you by showing up where he knew you'd be hanging out with your friends. He'd bought a ring for you that he was particularly pleased with, and he wanted you to have it as soon as possible. His plan was dashed as he watched you collapse into Howl, who immediately started to panic.

With a clear voice Divus took over the scene, picking you up and carrying you to his office where he had all manner of potions. As he pressed one to your lips, he noticed a cast on your arm. He'd ask about it later. 

When you woke up, you wrapped your arms around him, and whispered how much you missed him. He asked what happened, and you tell him how you broke your arm in yet another overblot incudent, and had been working like crazy for Crowley to pay off the medical expenses. 

You've never been scared of your lover. But his eyes were practically glowing with rage, and now you were starting to wonder if you should be scared. Divus does not accept cruelty to animals or humans. And, he keeps his receipts. It's not long before there's a pretty hefty case and Dire is removed as headmage for coercion and endangerment. After that, there aren't any more overblot incidents and the students seem more mentally healthy. How about that?

He decides to wait to give you the ring until you're fully recovered after everything. But he's certain when he asks you the question that comes with it, you'll have an answer he likes. Especially when you nuzzle into him so sweetly while you nap in his office.

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus draconia x reader #malleus #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #mozus trein x reader #trein x reader #mozus trein #twst trein #professor trein #twst mozus trein

[imaginechb]

Long Distance w/ Connor Stoll

Aka I'm back on my Connor shit™️ and now you all have to deal with it ❤️

You started dating over the summer, knowing that you'll have to spend the school year apart, but not really caring. You really liked each other, and no one back home could compare with him. No one could relate to you and care for you on the level that he could, no one had those experiences with you.

On the day you have to go back to your hometown, you pack all your things up in your cabin, your siblings either doing the same or keeping each other company.

Connor appears in the doorway and everyone else exchanges looks before clearing out. You turn to him, tears in your eyes that you don't want to let fall, but you can't help it. He opens his arms and you break, falling into him.

You stay there for a bit, holding each other, letting tears fall, before finally letting each other go. He helps you finish packing and walks you out of the cabin.

The rest of the day is spent laying in the strawberry fields in the late summer sun, playing volleyball with friends, and eating meals together rather than at your respective tables.

When it's time to go, he gives you one last emotional hug and a long kiss, before watching you go, a helpless expression on his face as he turns away.

NOW. while you're gone, he sends you letters. Updates on what's been happening with him and the camp, love letters, he writes down playlists for you.

He misses you so bad, he definitely mopes for a while after you leave, until people kinda tell him to get it together.

Sometimes he sends you care packages with things you might need or want; ambrosia in case of monster attacks, your favorite candies, his favorite hoodie, a cd he burned in Chiron's office while he was away

For your birthday (if it's during the school year), he mailed you cupcakes he and Travis made... they weren't exactly edible when they arrived (or when they were made), but it's the thought that counts, right? He also sent you a bracelet he made you (you'd taught him how), another one of his hoodies, and a necklace that you didn't want to know the origins of for legal reasons.

As for you, it had taken a while to adjust back to the mortal world without Connor. Seeing friends at school was nice, but still lonely without him. They were good friends, but they'd never know you and understand you like your friends at camp would. They were mostly just to keep from being alone the rest of the year while waiting for summer's return.

You listen to the playlists and cds he sent you every night to fall asleep, on your walk home from school, when you miss him. You have it memorized from start to finish at this point.

You wear his hoodies to school and to sleep at night to the point where they need washed, which you don't want to do because they smell like him, but it has to be done 😔

Luckily, that's around the time that he sends another one :D

You send him letters and packages of things from the mortal world, candies that he'd never tried, little stickers and pins from places you go, cds, you even return his hoodies to him occasionally.

He comes to stay with you and your family around your winter break (your family was a little unsure about him at first but ended up absolutely adoring him), and you go to camp during spring break so you guys can spend time together.

YOU GUYS PLAY SILLY LITTLE GAMES LIKE TIC TAC TOE THROUGH THE MAIL OMGS

Iris-messaging whenever you can. Sometimes it's hard because he's busy with training and activities at camp, and you've got school and maybe even a job taking up your time, but you manage at least once or twice a week.

Also depending on where you live, time zones may or may not be a thing. If you live on the west coast, there's a three hour time difference between you, which doesn't sound like a lot, but it is. You could be getting home from school when he's eating dinner, and by the time you finish up your homework and dinner, he's at the campfire and going to bed.

But you guys make each other a priority, you wouldn't do anything else

Because at the end of the day, it can be hard, and you might miss each other a lot, but you're also demigods in love. What you have is unshakable, it's not going anywhere, even if you do.

#pjo #toa #trials of apollo #hoo #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #chb #percy jackson #pjo hoo toa #camp jupiter #connor stoll #connor stoll x reader #connor stoll x you #pjo imagine #pjo x reader

[topguncortez]

Hii👋

Maybe some ❛ here we are, home sweet home. ❜ with Jake Seresin for 3 k

Thank u

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Shy!Reader (not wifey yet) warnings: it's so damn fluffy you might shed a tear. Opposites Attract Masterlist | Hangman Masterlist Main Masterlist | 3 fucking K celebration

Jake was ready to take the next step. It might've been a bit too soon- hell, it was a bit too soon. But four months was long enough to know when you met the right person, right? Jake knew it was absolutely insane that he was planning out how he was going to propose to Y/N in his head, but he didn't want to send another second apart from her.

The two of them had been spending almost every night at each others houses. The first time Y/N had stayed over at Jake's was completely by accident. They went out mini-golfing and ended the night at his place watching the Legally Blonde movies (which Y/N pointed out that Jake and Elle Woods were the same person). Sometime during the movie, Y/N fell asleep on Jake's chest and he didn't have the heart to wake her up and let her drive home. So instead, Jake asked Y/N if she wanted to stay, and he even offered up his room and he'd sleep on the couch. It took both of them by surprise when Y/N said that they can share the bed.

The night was a little over three months ago, and in that time each others belongings had been scattered among the two homes. Early mornings were spent driving home after spending the night wrapped in the warmth of each other. Jake didn't like watching you leave, knowing you were going home to your house alone. It wasn't that you couldn't handle your own, it was that Jake worried about you going home late or arriving home by yourself. There were too many weirdos in the world for Jake to sleep comfortably about.

"What has you all wired up, Bagman?" Javy asked, leaning on Jake's desk, "This about the girl?"

"Yeah," Jake sighed, running a hand down his face, "Do you think I'm moving too fast?"

"You wanted to tell her that you loved her on the third date. . ."

Jake rolled his eyes, "That's true," He sighed, "I'm thinking about asking her to move in."

"Shit, already?" Javy said, straightening up a bit, "You really care about her?"

"I would propose her tomorrow if I could," Jake said, "I've been looking at rings and everything."

"I don't think I have ever seen you this crazy about a girl, Seresin."

"She's the one for me. I see her and I see my whole future. I see a house in San Diego, near her parents, maybe get to be an instructor or some hotshot pilot, I see us having like four or five little ones. I can't see my life without her and I don't want to live one either."

Javy smiled, knowing that it was the exact way that he felt about his girlfriend Valerie. He clapped his friend on the back, "Ask her. And do it soon, before she figures out that you snore and talk in your sleep."

"I do not snore."

"Keep telling yourself that buddy," Javy patted his shoulder before walking back to his desk.

--- --- ---

Y/N looked through the curtains of the big bay window, waiting for Jake to arrive. She had been at work when Jake texted and asked if she was down for dinner, and she agreed. She had a mountain of second grade math homework to look through, but she wasn't going to miss a chance to get dinner with her favorite guy.

A smile rose to her face as Jake's familiar ford f-150 pulled up into the driveway. On the very first date, Y/N made a joke about how you can take the man out of Texas but not Texas out of the man. Y/N met Jake out on the front porch, giving her that megawatt smile and pink carnations in his hand.

"For you," He said, and kissed her hand, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Y/N blushed furiously.

Jake knew that she wasn't about to lean in and kiss him, not when Mrs. Lockheart next door was as nosy as she was. The small cottage house that Y/N rented was right next to a retirement community, and she had made friends with a lot of them. It made Jake smile seeing her spend so much time caring and talking to her elderly neighbors. He made mental note to take Y/N home to Texas to meet his nana someday.

"I'll go put these inside," Y/N said and Jake nodded. Quickly, Y/N put the carnations in the same vase as the other ones from the week before were. Anytime Jake took her on a date, he always showed up with pink carnations. Partly a nod to the first song that they had listened to on their first date.

"Ready?" Jake asked and Y/N nodded. He grabbed her hand and led her to the truck. He helped her in his lifted pick-up and made sure she was all buckled before shutting the door and jogging to the drivers side.

Jake made a reservation at their favorite seafood restaurant down by the pier. Y/N loved their fish and chips, and Jake always got some sushi that made Y/N crinkle her nose. They talked about each other’s days and how work went. Y/N hardly understood a word of what Jake was talking about but she was always so intrigued. It’s what made Jake love her so much, that she was actually interested in what he did and asked questions about it. They once again argued about who was going to pay for the meal (Jake had already slipped the waiter his card when Y/N was in the bathroom). After they ate, they decided to get ice cream from their favorite place and walk down the pier. 

That’s when Jake’s nerves really started setting in. 

He had a spare key made after his conversation with Javy, and it was currently burning a hole into his jeans. He was terrified of what she was going to say. Of course the worst she could say was “no” but Jake wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to handle that. Everything had been so perfect between the two of them so far and Jake was starting to think maybe he was reading this all wrong. Y/N had noticed him become distant, his hand not gripping hers as tightly anymore. 

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, looking up at him. Jake snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at her. 

‘Now or Never, Bagman’ 

Jake didn’t say anything as he set his ice cream dish on a nearby bench, and got down on one knee. Y/N sucked in a breath, her eyes going wide. 

‘Is he proposing? Oh my god! I didn’t even wear my good white shoes!’ 

“I’m not proposing,” Jake said. 

“Oh thank god,” Y/N sighed in relief, “I mean, not like that.” 

Jake chuckled, “I will one day. Just not today, but I want to ask you to move in.” He held up the brass key that was in his pocket, “I don’t like going to bed without you. And it doesn’t have to be everything. It can be like a drawer, or a toothbrush. But . . I can’t sleep another night without you in my house.” 

Y/N bit her lip, as a blush came across her cheeks. She set her own ice cream dish down, and reached into her purse, retrieving a very similar brass key out. 

“I had one made for you,” Y/N whispered, “I was going to ask you, but I was too scared.” 

Jake shook his head and stood up from his kneeling position, “Only us would do this.” Y/N giggled, and Jake pulled her in for a hug, “So you’ll move in? Like to my house?” 

“Unless you want to be woken up by Mrs. Stone’s bingo parties. They can get pretty rowdy.” 

“Damn, I’m not sure if I can move away knowing I’ll miss Thursday night bingo,” Jake frowned and Y/N giggled, burying her head into his chest. 

“But yes, I will move into your house with you, Jake.” 

Jake wrapped his arms tightly around her as he spun her in a circle. A shriek came from her lips followed by continuous laughter. Jake set her down, and kissed her quickly, knowing that she probably felt the eyes of onlookers on her. 

“Well, we better get going. I got packing to do!” 

— — — 

Three days later, Y/N was carrying a box in her hands up the sidewalk to her new home with Jake. He had a cute little two story house that was right between the base and the school. He walked a bit ahead of her, also carrying a box of her things. He set the box down, and reached into his pocket grabbing his keys to unlock the door. Y/N went to open the door but Jake stopped her. 

“Wait!” Jake said, and then covered her eyes with his hands, “Close your eyes.” 

“Jake, I have seen your house before.” 

“Yes, but it is no longer just my house, it's your house. . . Our house,” Jake said and Y/N broke out into a large smile, “So close your eyes for me.” 

“Only for you,” Y/N said and closed her eyes. Jake removed one hand to open the door, and then carefully guided her through the front door of his house. 

Her nose was filled with the familiar scent of his house; sage and the hint of jet fuel. She could feel the warmth of the home, and it felt so inviting. She never felt like a stranger in Jake’s house, and she felt even more at home than ever before. Jake kicked the door closed with his foot, and continued to guide her into the living room. 

“Alright, Here we are,” Jake said and took his hands off her eyes. Y/N opened her eyes slowly and looked around at the living room that was now partially her’s. Not a single thing physically had changed since the last time she was here two days ago, but everything had changed emotionally, “Home sweet home.” Jake kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. 

There was a moment of silence as the two of them just soaked up being in each others embrace in their home.

"What do you think, sweets?" Jake asked.

Y/N sucked in a breath before answering, "I think we need throw pillows." She looked up at Jake, who had a bright smile on his face.

"You're lucky I love you."

#top gun #top gun fan fic #top gun fan fiction #top gun imagine #top gun maverick #top gun maverick fan fic #top gun maverick fan fiction #top gun maverick imagine #Jake Seresin #Jake Seresin fan fic #Jake Seresin fan fiction #Jake Seresin imagine #Jake Seresin x reader #Jake Seresin x you #Jake Seresin x y/n #Jake Seresin x shy!wifey #Jake hangman seresin #hangman seresin #hangman #hangman fan fic #hangman fan fiction #hangman imagine #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman x y/n

[someonexsomeone]

Everything I Know About Love

Title: Everything I Know About Love

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 3k

Pairing: Bella Swan x Reader

Summary: After a certain vampire left her life, Bella just tries to continue her life...without the expectation of meeting a drunkard at a party and talking about love.

Authors Note: DAY 5 WHOOP WHOOP I cant believe im actually doing it. Lots of reasons of life happening now that in the past ive let dictate my life, I'm actually proud of myself for keeping this going. Make sure to give yourself a pat on the back today. Afterall, you survived another one, against all odds :)

Though parties weren't really her scene, there was only so much more Charlie could take of her being in her room. Really, she had been feeling better little by little for the last couple of months, though she doubted she would ever feel completely whole again for a really long time, she wasn’t just wasting away like she was when Ed-...like she had been before. Jessica and Angela were being more than understanding, one more than the other though she didn’t want to name names, and the boys were keeping her easily distracted by asking her to tutor them. Jacob, of course, was doing more than enough by being by her side, even going as far as helping her fix up some old dirt bikes and teaching her to ride. Their weekly rides near the beach make the weekends that much sweeter, even if she’s probably spent more on laundry detergent in that time than she has her whole life. 

So, she thought, you would think that all of this progress was good enough for Charlie to finally turn back to the relaxed, non-hovering parent she had come to appreciate, right? Wrong. Though he had gotten much better recently, finally stopping his stupid stop-ins to her room when she was quiet for too long, though it meant she was now doing her homework at the kitchen table rather than in the comfort of her room, he still looked at her like she was going to break apart at the slightest breeze, or even the mention of the Cullens. Cullen was a phrase much easier for her to say, recalling her near-death experience with Jasper and Rosalie’s sour face to cover Alice’s smiling face or Emmet’s welcoming demeanor or Esme’s gentle hands, but some words still caused her to shiver or go stockstill despite her reassurance that she was better, that she was going to be okay. Charlie knew better than to mention the redheaded Cullen if he could avoid it. And, so long as he remembered it, Bella was fine. Even if Charlie’s eyes betrayed his reassuring words, and his typical late nights at the office were instead moved to the house, papers scattered across the coffee table to act like both the crime map and coasters for his beer, she would continue to be. 

She knew he was trying, trying as much as he possibly could for someone who didn’t really raise his daughter until the most hormonal parts, but it was like he didn’t even remember who she was…before. Scrapes and bruises on her arms from general clumsiness earned her a self-harm prevention pamphlet on her bed, missed meals earned her a furrowed brow, and any plans that weren’t outside made his mustache wiggle in an almost amused way. This, though, she almost wanted to scream at.

“Dad, seriously?”

“Listen, I’m just worried, Bells. It feels like you’ve been cooped up in your room for days.” It took all her willpower to not roll her eyes.

“Because it’s midterms? I’m not going to go out when these tests are important.”

“I know, but you even missed your date with Jacob this week!” She huffed.

“It’s not a date, Dad,” she said, exasperated that this was probably the millionth time she’s said the words but they never seemed to stick. “Plus, Jacob’s doing his midterms as well! You know Billy’s not going to let him go on that guy’s trip if he doesn’t get a B on his Math test, and he really wants to go.”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t go over and help-”

“And,” she cut him off, “I went out two weekends ago with the girls to get Prom dresses, per your request.”

“...I just want to make sure you’re feeling alright.” Bella huffed in defeat, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed. It was just supposed to be a peaceful afternoon nap before she got back to studying, a break for her eyes and hands from staring at the index cards thrown across her desk, but apparently, that was too much to ask.

“I’m fine, Dad, really. I just need to study.” Bella stood beside her desk, the picture-perfect student in every way. He still looked skeptical. She sighed. “Jessica is hosting a party this weekend. A get-together, to celebrate the end of exams.” She watched ruefully as he perked up immediately. “Can I go?”

Charlie played up the protective guardian, stroking his mustache in thought, before saying, “Will there be alcohol?” Bella just huffed again, rolling her eyes. “Okay, okay. As long as you promise to be responsible, and call me if anything looks suspicious, you can go.”

And that’s how she found herself sitting on the steps outside of Jessica’s family lakehouse. The perfect environment for debauchery, it was far enough away from Fork to feel like you were in the middle of nowhere without sacrificing any cell service. She could hear people cheering down by the water, jumping in although winter was just letting up across the PNW, and the music playing behind her made her blood thump heavily under her skin. For a long time, she found comfort in the sound of her own heart, the steady thumping she could hear if she paid attention, but now it just made her feel conflicted. The thing that Ed-...he loved about her, dare she say, most, a reminder of him that she couldn’t ever be parted from. It made her heart clench painfully. She took another sip of the drink in her cup, long warmed past the chill it once had.

Introverted to her core, Bella actually found herself thankful for the change in scenery. Although she had come to like Forks, there were a few downsides. Not only did everyone know everyone, which meant that her original plan to hide out in the library when the party was happening was quickly dashed when she remembered the weekend librarian was a frequent customer at Charlie’s favorite diner, but it also meant that midterms were not as much of a distraction as she hoped. Yes, her teachers were good, but the advanced placement curriculum at her old school made this school much easier. Jacob was gone this weekend too, receiving a B- on his Math test that made Billy roll his eyes, so he wasn’t there to shelter her from Charlie’s downcast eyes, and all of her school friends were going to attend this party, even Angela, who convinced her parents this was an important part of her adolescent upbringing. She thought Angela was her best bet to curb boredom and wandering hands, but as soon as she saw her boyfriend, it was game over. 

The evening air was crisp out here, a dewy smell that reminded her of all those summers she was able to take a break from Arizona’s dry heat. The view from the cabin was amazing. The calm lake and the tree-filled skyline listed a little weight from her chest, just for a moment, the closest thing she’s gotten to be around her old vampire boyfriend as she could get. There was that stint in her life where she thought changing everything about herself was a great place to start to get over her first love, but past the shoulder-length haircut and dirt bikes, there wasn’t anything actually fun to her in the more dangerous activities she tried about. A shudder ran through her at the reminder of her attempt at cliff driving. She took one look over the edge before demanding Jacob escort her back to their car. He just laughed at her, waving her over to instead sit on the rocks and look out at the horizon. It was there that she learned gazing out at a body of water, whether ocean or lake, made her feel a peace she had been desperately looking for. Something about the majesty of the water, she reasoned, made her problems seem so insignificant…

“I’m not gonna throw up, you stupid head!” Bella nearly jumped out of her skin as the back door flew open, releasing the stench of sweaty teens and blasting pop music she escaped outside to avoid, There was a rumble of voices in the wake of the person stumbling out before the heavy door swung shut with a bang. Bella jumped up, holding her arms out faster than she could think, though she had no clue why she thought she would be able to catch the obviously drunk teen when she could barely stand on her own two feet most days. The person barely noticed Bella, stumbling past them to throw themselves against the deck’s railing. Bella worried they were gonna hurl, or worse, throw themselves over, but they did neither. Instead, they gasped heavily, like they hadn’t had a good breath of air in who knows how long, before leaning back and basically stumbling onto Bella’s feet. With a bounce, they ended up right next to her, their head snapping up to gape at Bella’s equally wide eyes.

“Holy shit! How long have you been there?!” Bella opened her mouth, but no words escaped. Instead, she stared at this stranger and mimicked a fish. “Oh my god, did I just sit on you? I’m so sorry!”

“No, you’re okay.” Bella hesitated. “Are you…okay? Not gonna hurl or anything, are you?” That earned a laugh, way too loud to be from anyone but a drunk person.

“Yeah! I just needed some fresh air.” Bella smiled at that.

“That’s why I’m out here too. It’s way too loud in there.” That one earned her a blinding smile. Bella let out a small puff of air, only a little uncomfortable around this random stranger, and unsure about what to do next. Does she sit down? No, that would be stupid.

“Why don’t you sit too? We can keep each other company, and become best friends!”

“Best friends?” Bella jumped as her hand was grabbed, and could do nothing against the sudden strong force pulling her down. Her drink went flying as her butt hit the step harshly.

“Yeah! I’m in the market for a new one.” If they noticed her pained expression, they didn’t say anything. Bella rubbed her back as they continued, “I was supposed to hang out here and celebrate with her, but turns out she’s a two-faced skank and hooked up with the guy I liked.” Bella just stared, open-mouthed. “Oh, don’t worry! It stopped hurting about…” The finger counting was near hilarious, but Bella was too worried about them to laugh. “I don’t remember! A while ago.” Then they huffed, nearly doing a 180 in emotion. “Besides, it’s not like I was in love or anything. I mean, I hardly knew the guy. But there was something about him…”

“I know what you mean.” The words were out before Bella could even think about the consequences. 

“You do?” Bella hesitated, before nodding. “Were you in love?”

“Um…”

“Oh no!” Bella jumped back, nearly catching an elbow to the face as the stranger threw their hands in front of their face, “I made you uncomfortable! Oh, I’m so sorry! Me and my big fat mouth…”

“No! No, it’s okay!” Bella reached forward, pulling their hands away from their face, trying to earnestly look into their eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just…a little fresh.”

“...you’re sure?” Bella nodded once. “Oh! You’re too nice!” Then, arms were thrown around her, pulling her face far too close to a stranger’s. “Woah! And pretty!” The stranger huffed. Bella shivered as their breath puffed against her face. “I bet you get loads of dates.”

“I wouldn’t say that-”

“And you probably know everything about being in love! Tell me about it, please!” Bella blinked. Drunk memory, she figured, or they just had a really bad one. “Please, please! I need to know. What if he was the one, and I never knew because I didn’t know what it felt like!”

“I don’t…” Bella could feel the rejection on the tip of her tongue. Denial would be easy, it’s not like she knew who this person was anyway. Plus, it would probably be easy to lose them in the crowd inside, and a phone had to be somewhere around here to call Charlie to come pick her up, despite the plan to spend the night here to help Jessica clean in the morning. But…there was something sparkling in their eyes that made Bella hesitate. This was a complete stranger, a person that, if they even knew who she was before this night, probably knew nothing of her previous relationship. Especially if they were this drunk. They were looking at Bella with the biggest, most innocent eyes, gleaming with so much unbridled trust and innocence that Bella felt her soft heart waver. “...know how to describe it.”

“Is it like how everyone says it is?” Bella laughed a little at that, gently pushing them away to settle their face back into their own personal bubble. In retaliation, they swung their knees so they knocked against Bellas, making their shoe tips touch for good measure.

“It can be. It was for me.” Their look of awe made Bella giggle lightly.

“Really?”

“In a way.” Bella paused, watching their eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Was that the answer you’re looking for?”

“I don’t know…maybe?”

“Then…tell me what you’ve heard, and I can elaborate for you?” Bella watched as they mouthed the word ‘elaborate’ before the meaning clicked and they nodded their head enthusiastically. 

“Just not too many words, okay? You’re a little…fuzzy?” Bella laughed lightly, nodding. The stranger smiled. “Yeah, that’s perfect! Okay, so, enchanting in every way.” Bella nodded, and their smile bloomed brighter. “It's everlasting every day.” Bella hesitated, before giving a so-so wave with her hand. They frowned in response. “Stomach sick with butterflies?” At Bella’s enthusiastic nod, they smiled again. “Sweet obsession, rose bouquets-”

“Trust me,” Bella said, cutting them off. She felt a little bad, but this was too complicated for a yes or no answer. “From personal experience, obsession is not what you want. Not when it’ll eat you whole.” That caused another bout of eyebrow-wiggling confusion.

After a moment, they said, “Maybe they were just obsessed with being in love? Obsessed with obsession is how things end up…no good.” Bella felt her eyes widen in shock. For a drunk person, someone who could barely remember a conversation from a moment ago and for completely disregarding personal space, that was shockingly coherent. 

In their short months together, Bella couldn’t count the number of times Edw- he talked about falling in love. Their late nights together were spent half in silence, just gazing into each other's eyes, and the other half was spent talking about anything they felt the need to say. For Bella, it was what she was thinking, how she was raised, things she liked. For him, it was how long he had waited for her, for someone who sung for him and made him feel loved as he had seen Esme and Carlisle interact throughout their many years. She remembered the way his eyes shined as he talked about them, about the love they had for one another, the way they fit together better than anyone he had seen in his 100 years. 

“I have that now, with you.” He whispered before kissing her, putting any conviction he had in the statement with the first press against her lips. And she had believed him, wholeheartedly. Looking back on it now, she can see why Charlie and her friends were worried for her. Months of on and off, of not knowing if Bella was gaining his attention in a good or bad way, the way he proclaimed his love to her within a month or two of knowing her. But…she could still feel his insistence, his devotion, and the love that sparkled in his eyes when they were together. There was no way that wasn’t real…was it?

“Maybe you’re right…” Bella whispered, neither convinced nor closed off to the possibility. These last few months have given her a lot of time to think things through. Writing to Alice had helped a little in the beginning, but having Jacob there to talk to, to finally have someone to open up to, especially after learning his own secret, their friendship had never been closer. He was always there for her, especially on the bad days, and cheered her on when she was able to get back on her own feet. After finally asking out the girl of his dreams, he didn’t abandon her, instead introducing them so Bella was always welcome without a hint or suspicion of something else, something unsaid, being there. Bella felt a swell of adoration when she thought of Jacob, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the way she felt with him. But was that such a bad thing?

“You’re frowning.” Bella started, flinching as a hand gently pressed on the space between her eyebrows. She hadn’t even realized they had pushed together.

“You’ve given me something to think about.” That caused a smile.

“Really?” Bella nodded. “Good! I’m not just a pretty face, you know.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Bella laughed. Their smile brightened even more. In one swift motion, with far too much coordination for someone so drunk, they threw their arms around her, pulling her close and smacking a wet kiss against her cheek. Bella’s face flared bright red.

“And you’re not just a pretty face too! You’re a gorgeous face with a kind heart!” They slumped against her, resting their head against Bella’s shoulder, snuggling as close as they could in their awkward position. “Thank you for explaining things to me. I think it made me fall in love with you.”

“Wha-” Bella stuttered. They laughed loudly, pressing their lips against her cheek again with more teeth than necessary.

“And you’re funny! You have to give me your number now. I’m not gonna let that stank bag get to you before me this time.”

Joke or not, Bella couldn’t help her burning ears or the way her heart beat out of them. She also couldn’t help the way her heart skipped a beat. The first time in a long time.

______________________________________________________________

masterlist  l What is Laufeyfest? l Laufeyfest masterlist

#twilight imagine #bella swan imagine #bella swan one shot #bella swan x reader #bella x reader #laufeyfest #twilight one shot #edward cullen slander #someonexsomeone

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 4 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd starting in this chapter but I promise he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system (he gets worse before he gets better yk) and obviously i'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 11k I know

genre: smut, slice of life/coming of age, one sided pining, fluff

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: NOT PROOF READ AT ALL, more facebook messanger texts we'll politely pretend aren't facebook messanger, protecting carlos and seb during hoco (+ one use of the word homophobia), you're the dolly levi of the friend group, a LOT of hello dolly references??, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF, ricky's falling HARD, antagonist!nina, one sided rina angst (like BIG gina angst), big red is ricky's temporary therapist, ricky has bpd, ricky kind of splits on gina??, ricky has anxiety too, dr phil and big red and natalie's emotional support hamster are the only consistant things in anyone's life, drama/general messiness, oral (m + f recieving), sneaky quiet late night don't wake up the parents sex, making out, ricky thinks you smell so good he has to bang you right now, "stay quiet or I stop", switch!ricky, switch!reader, calling ricky a good boy, praise kink, giggly sex, waking up the morning after to an empty bed but not at all on bad terms (and no ghosting)

summary: ricky works up the guts to ask you to homecoming. if you can navigate all the drama, maybe he'll get to rearrange yours after dancing together all night.

song recs: old friend - mitski, 10 minutes ago - cinderella (1997), dancing - hello dolly (1969), in love on valentine's day - paul sandrone, daniel farrant, james knight (spotify link bc it's literally not on youtube??? tracking down this song was a nightmare /lh), you turned the tables on me - billie holiday, born to be brave - nico iaciancio cover (bc that's what I think the original sounds like in canon), soulmate who wasn't meant to be - jess benko, perfume - new hope club

a/n: could I have split this up?? yes but I'm not going to. also congrats 2 me bc I'm officially in the 10k one shot girlie club!! this is the longest thing i've ever written and my eyes are burning. ricky has bpd, I knew from the moment I saw this motherfucker I was like "yup bpd and mommy issues" and I was RIGHT why is no one talking about this also go watch crazy ex girlfriend

EDIT: I FORGOT TO ADD THE LINK TO THE VAMPIRE DIARIES VIDEO YOU REFERENCE IN THE BEGINNING (obvious spoilers for vampire diaries lol)

tags: @yesv01 @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @hopefullhearts @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa

There’s no reason to be nervous. Ricky has literally no reason to be nervous. You’ve been together practically 24/7 since… all this began. He ducks his head down and his eyes land on the smooth counter top of the booth you’re sitting in. Heat rushes to his cheeks as it so often does around you, as he remembers all the time you’ve spent together. He tries to pay as much attention as he can to your summary of the video essay on vampire diaries you’d watched while doing homework last night, even though his thoughts are racing, and all centered on you. On asking you something really important - but also like, totally not a big deal or whatever.

“So apparently they just regularly bring characters back from the dead,” you inform him with a laugh, and take a sip of your coffee. He didn’t think people could look particularly cute while sipping something until he met you… until he got close with you. 

“Yeah, that’s pretty crazy,” he agrees, hoping he sounds normal. You glance up at him to make sure he’s okay. You can tell he seems a little distracted, and he knows he has to ask you. It’s now or never. 

“So…” he begins.

“Yeah?” you lean forward, already invested in what he has to say. God, he loves that. He loves the way you care, really care about what he has to say. He lets out a small, breathy laugh, that you mirror when you hear his.

“So, homecoming is soon,” he smiles, and is pretty sure you know where he’s going with this. Your eyes widen in moderate surprise.

“It is? Already?” you ask, pulling out your phone to check your very messy calendar. “Jesus, I thought we still had a few more weeks…” you muse, and Ricky smiles. God, how can you make everything - even being a little scatterbrained sometimes - so fucking cute? 

You look back up from your phone, snapping him back to attention. His breath is shallow.

“So…” he says again, and rubs the palms of his hands up and down his jeans. Why is he so nervous? He has no reason to be nervous. You’re silent, waiting for him to continue in a way that feels patient, encouraging even, instead of critical like it would be from someone else. 

“...Do you want to go? To homecoming?” 

His heart is in his throat.

“Like, together?” You take another sip. He’s so choked up, so worried you’ll say no. He nods. You smile. 

“Hell yeah,” you lean back and pull out your phone to text your mom, who is currently at a PTA meeting, about dress shopping this weekend, biting your lip as you type. Relief turns to elation as you discuss plans, coordinate rides with your friends, and get a plan together. He bounces his leg, getting really excited for all this. He’s never been one for school dances, but with you… it’s a whole different story. He can’t stop looking at you. 

“So, what color is your dress going to be? You know, so I can get a tie to match.” A light, happy chuckle dances across the table and you hum in consideration, glancing down at the scone in your hand, your favorite flavor that’s become somewhat of a signature with you and Ricky.

“Peach.” 

You both giggle.

“Perfect.” he smiles. You’re going to look so pretty in a peach dress. At homecoming. With him. A burst of kinetic energy waves through him at the thought. The atmosphere is nice, comfortable. It always is with you. You finish the bite of pastry in your mouth.

“You know,” you start, “maybe you should go suit shopping with your dad. It might be nice to have a guy’s day together.” 

His mom has been gone for a few weeks now, and he told you how badly his dad is struggling. He means well, it’s just… been hard on him. It might be nice, he thinks, really nice to go out and spend some time with his dad, have some fun. He doesn’t remember the last time they had a day like that together. He’d really like that, if his dad wanted to.

“Yeah,” he agrees, wondering when a good time to bring it up will be, “that would be nice.” 

Around the time you’re ready to head home, your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you everything at the PTA meeting went great, and she’ll fill you in on the details at home, and you thank her, informing her there’s a hazelnut coffee coming her way. 

It’s Friday night, and you have less than 24 hours to homecoming. You’re not sure how you were able to find a dress you actually like in the right color on such short notice, but somehow you managed. You and Ricky have been texting all day, filling each other in on how last minute shopping had been going for each of you. He was shocked at how well today went with his dad. He was bracing himself for the worst for a lot of the afternoon, but the day progressed and nothing bad happened. They even got dinner afterwards. 

Now, you’re sitting at your desk, finishing some homework while you facetime each other and fill him in on the whole cast’s plan to be there for Carlos and Seb tomorrow night. 

“And, like,” you continue rambling as you wrap up your science worksheet, “it’s so ridiculous that that’s even necessary, you know? Out of all the living things in the world, humans are the only ones who thought to make up homophobia.” 

“Right? Worst idea ever,” he muses. 

“Exactly!” you exclaim in agreement, looking up at your phone. You mutter something about how stupid people can be, eyes moving down and skimming your paper, double checking your answers one last time. Ricky watches you do this. Your desk light casts a warm glow over you, and he can see some of your posters on the opposite wall from  where you have your phone propped up. He knows exactly which ones they are, too. He has every detail of your room - and of you - memorized by now.

He’s supposed to be finishing his english homework, that’s the whole point of facetiming each other this late, to keep each other company while you work. Instead his papers lay discarded on his desk as he watches you, a look of fondness dusting his face. You tap your pencil against each question on your worksheet, eyebrows scrunched, mouthing the answers to yourself as you go. Occasionally you’ll stop, turning to your book to check a chart or vocabulary word, then erase your answer and select a different one. 

“And that’s why we proofread,” you mutter to yourself, and Ricky giggles. You look back up at him, smiling, then back at your paper for one last once over. 

“Okay, I’m just about done,” you say, putting your homework in your bag to turn in later, with a satisfactory sigh. Ricky glances at the time. It’s getting late already. He’s torn between wanting to make sure you get enough sleep, and wanting to talk to you all night. He watches you rub your eyes, suppressing a yawn. 

“We should probably go to bed now,” it’s more of a question, but you agree anyway. You pick up your phone and walk into your bathroom, grabbing your toothbrush as you say your drawn out good nights. 

Ricky thought he was nervous asking you to homecoming? Turns out that’s nothing compared where he is now, waiting for you in your foyer. Somehow your house had become the unofficial get ready spot for the girls and Carlos, and meet up place for everyone else. So that’s where Ricky finds himself, barely unable to socialize or talk with his friends, all his thoughts preoccupied with you. He hasn’t seen you all day; you and the girls have been getting ready together, and he’s been trying to teach Big Red to dance all day. 

Ashlyn comes down first. Her bubbly presence immediately eases some of the tension in the atmosphere from Ricky and EJ having to wait together in such close quarters. She waits with them for the others while they finish getting ready. It doesn’t slip past Ricky how nervous Big Red suddenly gets when she comes down the staircase. 

Natalie is next - almost. Half way down the stairs, a snap resonates off the walls, and she freezes. She looks down at her left shoe, the heel of which has completely snapped off.

“Oh my god,” she mutters, and walks carefully back up to your room. A minute later, presumably after she informs you about her wardrobe malfunction, Ricky hears your voice, faint and bouncing off the stairwell. 

“It’s okay, that’s the risk you take with stilettos,” you say, trying to calm her justified panic. He hears you say something about how Margot Robbie broke a heel at an award show a few years ago as your bedroom door closes again. 

The door opens, and Carlos appears at the landing. His face falls slightly as he realizes Seb isn’t here yet.

“It’s okay, he’s probably going to meet up with us at school.” Ricky comforts. 

“Yeah,” he agrees with a laugh at his own nervousness, “yeah, you’re probably right.”  Carlos takes a deep breath, and Ricky notices the swirly, metallic red pattern on his suit. 

“You look great, man,” He says, hoping to take Carlos’s mind off the unexpected radio silence from Seb. The comment is appreciated, but seems to catch him off guard. 

“Thanks,” he replies, “dude,” he punctuates with a friendly - very awkward - punch to Ricky’s arm. It’s more of a nudge, but he appreciates the sense of comradery nonetheless. 

Footsteps echo down the stairs, and Ricky looks up, stomach twisting in anticipation. Natalie emmerges, much more carefully this time. She greets everyone, then starts talking to Ashlyn about the shoe incident. Ricky is trying really, really hard not to look like he’s waiting for you, but it feels almost impossible to focus on anything else. 

Finally, several painfully long minutes later, he hears the click of high heels approaching the steps. He walks to the bottom of the stairs, heart thumping as you round the corner, and all the breath is pulled from his lungs at the sight of you. You descend the stairs, hair and dress flowing and bouncing with every step, glowing under the chandelier light. Your dress, mid length and flouncy, a peachy champagne that compliments your hair and skin tone perfectly, shimmers subtly when you move, glistening like starlight. 

Your makeup is understated and glowy, bringing out every beautiful feature you have - which is all of them. Your hair is perfect, glossy and voluminous. Your earrings look like little pink silk flowers, and there are matching, larger silk flowers on the side of your heels. Your nails are manicured a soft peachy pink, with little sparkling accents. You even smell like peaches, he realizes, subconsciously taking a step closer to the bottom of the stairs as you get closer. You seem to descend in slow motion as Ricky takes in every detail.

Your expression mirrors his the moment you see him. You did not expect him to look that good in a suit. It couldn’t fit better, the cut and seams of the dark fabric perfectly accentuating his physique. His tie matches your dress, the same shade of peach, and you bite back a smile. The expression on his face can only be described as a breathless wow, and it’s something you'll never forget. Your cheeks are warm and suddenly it all feels real. You find yourself very excited to have fun at homecoming with him tonight. 

You finally float down to the bottom of the stairs, stopping in front of him. It’s quiet for a moment, as you take each other in, face to face. You’re both struggling to find the words, thrown off guard by the energy in the air, by each other. Behind you, Ashlyn claps awkwardly.

“Alright, everyone ready to go?” 

You and Ricky both giggle at the same time, and his chest warms at how in sync you are. 

“Yeah,” You confirm, smiling over at Ashlyn and grabbing Ricky’s arm in a way that makes his heart palpitate, “let’s go.”

Standing with you on the dance floor, his hand on your waist as you attempt to teach him how to waltz, Ricky is so thankful for homecoming, for an opportunity to be close to you like this. 

“I told you,” he laughs, enamored with your optimistic determination, “I can’t dance.” 

“Yes,” you smile, “you can. You just haven’t had the right teacher.” His cheeks flush at your words, the feeling of your hands on his, and he’s hit with the sudden memory of the last time your lips were on his neck. 

“I think you’re probably right about that…” he mutters under his breath. You bite back a smile, adjusting the position of his hand on your waist. You step closer, and his heart beats faster. He watches your face closely as you explain the basics of a waltz, a box step. 

“Like in ‘Dancing’ from Hello Dolly.” you smile, eyes widening at the blank look on his face. “Oh my god, it’s a musical classic! Carol Channing played Dolly in the original broadway cast in ‘64, then Barbra Streisand in the film adaptation in ‘69.” 

“Wow,” he smiles. He loves when you talk about theatre and Broadway, loves the way your eyes light up. “They’re like, really famous, right?” You let out a light hearted scoff.

“Broadway legends.” You smile, “The movie was directed by Gene Kelly, too, it’s amazing. We should watch it this weekend, if you want to,” you look up at him, eyes glittering under the soft twinkling lights. 

“Yeah,” Ricky laughs, “definitely.” 

After a moment, you remember why you brought Hello Dolly up in the first place. 

“Right,” you say, memory jogged, “there’s a song called ‘Dancing’ where Dolly is teaching Cornelius and Barnaby how to dance so they can impress these girls who work at a ladies hat shop-” 

“Cornelius and Barnaby?” he asks with a laugh. 

“It takes place in 1890!” you say, jokingly defensive. 

“Right,” he agrees, “so a… ladies hat shop…?” 

“Totally era appropriate.” 

You’re both giggling, trying not to be too loud. You lean your head forward, resting it on his shoulder. The sound of your laughter, the feeling of your head resting against him brings back that warm feeling he always gets around you. It takes you a moment to regain your composure. It’s been like this all night, the conversation flowing like a river, always making each other laugh over something or other. 

“So,” you begin, once again ready to dance with him, “put your hand on her waist and stand.” You recite, moving his hand from your back to your waist and adjusting your posture. 

“With her right-” you hesitate, making sure you have the correct hand, then continue, “in your left hand. And…” You step back with your left foot, motioning for him to follow, then back and out with your right, then together. 

“One… two… three…” 

You repeat the steps.

“One… two… three…”

And again.

“One… two… three…” 

You look up at him, your smile blinding.

“Look, you’re dancing!” 

He looks up at you, excited, disbelieving that he got it so quickly.

“Wait, that’s it?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” you nod, “see? I told you you can dance.” You start to move again, and he follows, hesitant but slowly getting the hang of it. After a second, he says your name, voice quiet and still watching the ground. 

“Can you keep singing? It’s making it a lot easier…” he chuckles, hoping you can’t tell how much he loves hearing your voice. 

So you do. You sing quietly, just enough for him to hear, about dancing and how it’s the perfect excuse to hold someone you like close to you, as you waltz carefully around the room. An electric, intimate feeling ties you together as you weave through the room. It's like something clicked, he thinks, because it makes sense. This, dancing, makes sense. He’s pulled from his epiphany by your melodic voice. 

"We should do Hello Dolly, it would be so fun!" You giggle.

"Yeah?" He asks, smile mirroring yours, "Who would you play?" You let out a light hearted huff, considering. 

"I would love to play Dolly," you admit. You had always hoped to portray the classic role, dreaming of being able to follow in the footsteps of other iconic actresses like Carol Channing and Barbra Streisand. You barely get the sentence out when Ricky nods, agreeing. 

"You would make an amazing Dolly." You laugh, cheeks warm, flattered by his response. 

"Who do you think I should be?" He asks, that playful energy flowing comfortably between you as he raises his arm, spinning you around. 

"Well," you begin with a laugh, "if you played Cornelius we’d get to waltz together. But if you played Horace and I played Dolly we'd get married at the end." 

His heart squeezes at your words, imagination already taking off like a wild horse. Again, your melodic voice pulls him back down to earth. 

"But playing Irene would be fun too…" you sigh, twirling in his arms again, your dress glittering under the soft lights. Your hands return to their previous position resting on his shoulder and your waist, free hands clasped together, and you begin to move in tandem. You twirl and float around the room, feeling the music wrap around you like a warm blanket in autumn. 

In that beautiful moment between the two of you, he doesn’t just understand dancing, he realizes, he loves it. Like, a lot. He loves this, being close to you. He loves the connection between you, and he wants to keep dancing with you all night. 

He giggles, twirling you around in his arms again. On your way around, you see Carlos behind you at your table holding up his phone, a smile on his face. You’re glad he seems okay; Seb still hasn’t shown up and everyone’s been worried about both of them. A split second later, you’re back in Ricky’s arms, and your heart soars at the smile on his face. You’d been hoping dancing together at homecoming might help him in rehearsals. Based on how well he’s doing - and how much fun he seems to be having - you can tell your hunch was correct. 

After a few more songs, you begin to make your way back to your table. Ricky’s hand settles on your back, guiding you through the crowd. Two more people are seated there than when you left, and your eyes widen. 

“Oh my god.” you say quietly, “Gina and EJ came together?” 

Ricky glances up, gaze almost immediately turning back to you as you get closer.

“Oh, they did? I didn’t notice.” 

Fighting to maintain her poker face, Gina’s stomach drops at his words. Her eyes dart between you and Ricky, the way he’s looking at you. She grips her clutch tighter. This is really, really bad for her. Gina barely had a plan for making Ricky jealous and freaked out so he’d quit the show to begin with. She definitely did not plan on you waltzing into the picture - literally - and stealing away all of his attention. He can’t get jealous if all of his focus is on you. A sinking feeling begins to invade the pit of her stomach. 

Ricky’s phone buzzes with a text from his dad. 

“Hey,” he says, showing you the screen, “which shirt do you like better?” 

He’s been filling you in on his dad’s hot date he has tonight, and you’re both very relieved to see that he’s doing okay, putting himself out there. You look at the pictures, and consider.

“Hmm… the second one.” you conclude. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too,” he agrees easily. He loves how you always seem to be on the same page. 

“Wow,” comes EJ’s voice from across the table. He sounds really stiff. “I had no idea you were each other’s dates to homecoming.” He states, sharing a quick look with Gina he hopes no one notices. 

“Yeah, we are,” Ricky smiles, “we’re each other’s dates.” He doesn’t think it would be too far fetched to say you’re… dating. 

“Yep, partners in crime.” You smile, showing off your plastic ring. Ricky holds up his, kept on a chain, sitting right over his heart. 

“Aw,” Carlos says, an almost bittersweet undercurrent to his voice, “you guys are so cute.” He gestures for you to lean closer to each other. “Let me get a pic for my story!” 

Ricky does not need to be told twice. He throws his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you hold his arm and giggle. It’s the perfect shot, the sincerity of the fun you’re having evident in the photo. 

Gina runs her tongue over her teeth. She really does not like that. 

Across town, sitting at a table in a shitty karaoke spot, Nina scrolls through instagram while Kourtney rants about the bitch who criticized her costume suggestions. Something about a lime green sweater? She’s not really paying attention, she’s too distracted by the hideous dress that Gina’s wearing. And the fact that she went to hoco with Nina’s ex boyfriend. 

“Look at this,” she says, showing Kourtney her phone. “She looks like she’s wearing a bedazzled tablecloth.” Kourtney looks at her phone, disapproval written all over her face. 

“And,” Nina says, gearing up to point out the obvious jab at her, “she’s with EJ.”

Kourtney knows where this is going. Before Nini can go off about how obviously Gina has it out for her, she takes a sip of her drink. 

“Is there anything on their stories?”

She taps EJ’s story and it’s just a boomerang of the food. 

“No, just-” Carlos’s story plays next and Nina almost pukes. Right there on her screen is Ricky, kissing your cheek, leaning into you like a cat. You’re in an unfortunately gorgeous dress, grinning so sincerely, your nose effortlessly scrunched. Next is a video of you two dancing. Like, really, properly dancing. She can’t believe you got him to dance - he doesn’t even dance in rehearsal when he’s supposed to! She watches the two of you ballroom dancing around the gym, breath speeding up slightly at the realization that he’s actually good. The sick pit forming in her stomach grows as she rewatches the video again. She wants to know why, after all the practice, all the failed attempts and his reluctance, why it works when you do it? Why isn’t she good enough? She dwells in the feeling for a few minutes. She scrolls through a few more hoco posts before finding one that has your account tagged. It’s private. 

“Kourt,” she says, showing her her phone, “you need to follow her.” 

“Why?” Kourtney asks.

“So I can see what’s on her instagram.” Nina says. She can’t let you know she’s lurking, so the obvious solution is to lurk through Kourtney’s account. Kourtney sighs. She requests to follow you. 

A few feet away from your table, Ashlyn gives you a look, gesturing subtly to Carlos, then to the hallway. Seb still isn’t here. 

“Hey,” you say quietly to Ricky, “I’ll be right back.” you smile, eyes flicking over to Ashlyn and Carlos. 

“Yeah, sure,” he says, watching you leave with them to give Carlos a pep talk. A soft smile kisses the corners of Ricky’s mouth, watching you in utter adoration. He lets out a small sigh, gaze lingering on where you stood even after you’re out of sight. 

Gina watches him watch you, his dark auburn hair glowing in the warm twinkle lights strung up throughout the gym. His eyes seem to sparkle with joy when he finally tears his gaze away, staring absentmindedly at the table. 

“EJ,” she says, “could you get me some punch, babe?” 

“Uh,” he says, clearly unused to the term of endearment, “sure… babe.” He heads over to the drinks, the tension between them thinly veiled. This seems to snap Ricky out of whatever his train of thought was, and he scoots closer to Gina. She watches him lean closer to her and begin speaking in a low, almost strangely intimate tone of voice. 

"Hey, you know EJ went through Nini’s phone before they broke up, right?” 

She raises her eyebrows. 

“Just… you know, be a little careful around him.” 

“I can take care of myself, Ricky.” She states incredulously.

“Yeah, of course you can.” he says, head tilted to the side with a little smile, like it should be obvious, “You’re so talented and ambitious, and - honestly, way too good for him.” He mutters the last part, but she definitely hears it. 

“You’re way too cool to get your heart broken by a guy who plays water polo.” He says, drawing a reflexive laugh out of her. 

“Just… take care of yourself.” he concludes, locking eyes with her before moving back to his seat. It’s only for a moment, but long enough for her to commit the color to memory.

“Right.” she says, working harder than she usually has to to keep her expression neutral. 

Later, between dances, you and Ricky catch your breath at the snack table. You take a sip of your drink, eyes landing on Gina and EJ, who are very obviously arguing. You nudge Ricky, motioning over to them.

“What are they saying? Wrong answers only.” 

He considers, then begins to narrate in his best EJ impression. 

“Ugh, Gina! Stop moving! I haven’t posted on instagram in 35 seconds and blurry so doesn’t fit my theme.”

You try to stifle the loud, beautiful laugh that brings warmth to his cheeks and a smile to his lips as your eyes lock, sharing a look so close he never wants to look away. 

“I said wrong answers only…” you say through muffled giggles. He stares at you, fixated. He’s blinded by your warmth, your beauty, and he can’t look away from you. His attention is snapped back to where it had been when you gasp dramatically, shock written all over your face. He follows your gaze to EJ, who’s dripping with punch, and Gina, who’s storming away from him.

“...Oh my god.” you say, already dissolving into laughter again, Ricky following suit. 

Soon you’re dancing again, pressed up against each other, swaying gently to the oldies playing softly over the speakers. Ricky can feel your body heat, smell your shampoo, and the way it mixes with your sweet peachy perfume. You smell so good, he thinks he could probably get high off you alone. His hand rests firmly on your back, holding you close to him, and his fingertips brush over the exposed skin peeking out over the straps of your dress. He traces your shoulder blades, your spine, feeling how close together your hearts are beating. One of your arms is wrapped around him, your head resting on his shoulder. Both your free hands are intertwined, and he loves the feeling of your fingers intertwining with his. He’s steeped in a hazy sort of ecstasy, spurred further on by your warm little breaths tickling his neck. 

He lets out a soft sigh, more content than he’s probably ever been. He feels you smile against his blazer when he traces the outline of the back of your dress. You hum softly to the music, singing along to a few of the words. He’s not surprised that you know this song, of course you would know a song this pretty and romantic. He hopes he’ll remember to ask you the name of it later. Dancing, he realizes, isn’t just fun - it’s amazing. He loves dancing. He loves dancing with you. After a few moments, he realizes there’s not many people on the dance floor. He doesn’t get why so many guys don’t like slow dancing; when you really love someone, isn’t any reason to hold them close to you a good one? He thinks it is. His heart flutters when you let out a breathy sigh against his skin.

You adjust your head on Ricky’s shoulder, watching Carlos across the room. He looks so… melancholic. You should go check on him. And Gina. And probably EJ. Christ, tonight has been a lot. You adjust your head again, facing towards him. 

“We should check on Gina,” you say reluctantly, murmuring into his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. He loves when you do that, loves how you know when people are hurting and what to do about it. But right now, he really, really does not want to let go of you for anyone or anything. Maybe it’s selfish, he thinks, maybe it’s selfish for wanting you all to himself like this, but he just can’t bring himself to let go of you yet. Maybe he deserves to be a little selfish sometimes. Maybe he should just give himself permission to do whatever makes him feel better. He holds you tighter, face burying into your neck. 

“After this song,” he breathes, eyes fluttering closed in your embrace. You nod gently.

“Okay,” you agree, voice so low he can barely hear it. 

Eventually the final piano chords sound, and he holds you tight as the last few, painfully bittersweet notes reverberate through the room. The song ends, and he lets go of you slower and more reluctantly than he’s done anything. 

You sigh, tracing your hands on his shoulders, slowly coming out of that cozy trance like state you’ve been in together.

“Okay,” you start, “let’s split up. I’ll check on Carlos, you can check on Gina, and I’ll have Ashlyn check on EJ cause they’re cousins.” 

He agrees, hit with a sudden wave of nerves about the confrontation. You can sense his hesitation.

“What should I say?” he asks, with a chuckle. He’d told you about how he warned Gina about EJ earlier in the evening, which you had agreed was totally the right move. He told you how she seemed irritable after the interaction, and wondered if he’d done anything wrong, if he could have handled it better. “I don’t think so”, you had said with a sad shrug, “some people just refuse to acknowledge the person they’re dating is kind of shitty.” 

You’re right, he realized, now ready to approach this with more compassion and less confrontation. You think for a second, then reply.

“You can apologize if what you said before came off wrong, that you didn’t mean anything bad by it.” 

“Okay,” he nods.

“And try to relate to her - you’re new to theatre, she’s new to east high, you gotta stick together, you know?”

“Right.” 

You send him a thumbs up as you part ways, looking for Carlos. After chatting with Carlos, he left to get some water. You see Ricky approaching you through the crowd, and stand up from your table, meeting him halfway.

“How’d it go?” you ask. He seems hesitant.

“She asked for a ride home.” Your eyes go wide with understanding. He knew you’d get what’s going on, you always know just what to do. 

“Oh, dude, the last thing she probably wants right now is to get in a car with EJ.” Ricky thinks that’s the last thing anyone would want. “If you want you can give her a ride, then come back and we can keep dancing.” He smiles, and agrees. Any plan that ends with dancing with you more sounds like a good plan to him. You quickly fill him in on how things are going with the Carlos/Seb situation in spite of its anticlimactic nature - no one can get a hold of Seb, and Carlos is really, really regretting this whole thing. You and Ashlyn are going to try and hype him up and turn the night around for him so it’s not a totally horrible memory to look back on, and Ricky agrees that’s a good plan. 

“I’ll be back really soon so I can help you guys out,” he says, hoping to extend the conversation a little, to stand close to you and talk confidentially with you just a little more. You smile, looking relieved at his support, and it makes his heart flutter. You touch his arm, sending him a knowing look.

“We need all the help we can get, so thank you.” you state with a chuckle. He tries not to be obvious, but he knows he can’t hide his flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. He hopes you don’t notice. 

You really didn’t expect to be the glue holding everyone together tonight, but you love your friends, so you’re not complaining. After a lengthy conversation with Carlos about how amazing he is regardless of who he is or isn’t seeing, and that there will be so many guys throwing themselves at him after high school, you finally get him out of his funk a little. You were about to go dance together and have a good time, because he shouldn’t let anything ruin his homecoming, when Natalie scurried over to you holding the side of her dress. 

“It snagged on the back of a chair and my whole leg is out, Angelina Jolie style.” She says in a rush, clearly getting more freaked out. You and Carlos share a look.

“It’s okay,” you say gently, “I have a sewing kit in my bag and I can have you fixed up in two minutes flat.” You look over at Carlos again, making sure he’ll be okay. He confirms silently, nudging you two towards the doors. 

“You go fix this wardrobe malfunction,” he says, already trying to pull out of the funk he’d been stuck in all night, “I’m going to warm up the dance floor. When you get back, get ready to dance your heart out.” 

He’s not all the way there, but he’s trying. You both agree, and you send him one last encouraging look before moving carefully to the hallway, trying not to let Natalie’s dress rip any more than it already is. You look back one last time as you pass through the doors, and finally, Carlos is out on the dance floor. You smile, excited to dance with him once you get back.

“God, I wish I had my hamster right now…” Natalie mutters, and you know if she needs her emotional support hamster, it’s pretty bad. 

A few minutes later, you have your sewing kit and Natalie’s dress is back to its former glory. She has on a fresh coat of lip gloss, just finished showing you pictures of her hamster, and is ready to head back out. You stay behind to touch up your makeup a little, telling her you’ll be right behind her.  As you’re walking back out, someone turns the corner at the other end of the hallway. You freeze in place, eyes growing wide as they land on none other than Seb. He smiles nervously, raising a hand to wave at you. Before he can, you let out a shocked squeak, scurrying back into the gym. His heart sinks. He hopes you don’t hate him, and he’s really worried Carlos is going to. 

When you enter, you see Carlos dancing his heart out. You don’t have time to be relieved, weaving your way through the crowd to Mr. Mazzara. You slam your hands on the table, avoiding the sound and light equipment he’s managing. 

“Mr. Mazzara!” He looks up at you, startled, as you begin to explain in a rush. He looks at you, a pleading puppy dog look written on your face, and sighs. 

“I suppose that’s fine…” he says, making a few adjustments to the switch board in front of him. 

“Thank you!” you say quietly, before running onto the dance floor. Carlos is finally in his element. He dances beautifully to the music, free and expressive. Right when the beat drops, a circle of spotlights go up. One lands on him, the other lands across the room on Seb, and they lock eyes in a moment that can only be described as magical. Ashlyn looks at the scene, straight out of a movie, then over to you. You high five her. 

“Nice!” she whispers. You can see it between them, the energy, the chemistry, the electricity. You look at Ashlyn, nodding toward your table. You both sit down, giving them some time to talk and catch up. You try to be subtle as you watch them talk, not close enough to eavesdrop, but watching their expressions, gaging how it's going. They're smiling, then they're laughing, and soon they're dancing together. It's going well, you think. You can't wait for Carlos to fill you in later. 

Sitting in Gina's driveway, a surprisingly more comfortable energy in the air than either of them had expected, Ricky tries to think of how to say what he wants to say. 

"Not quite the evil mansion with wrought-iron and gargoyles you were picturing?" She asks, a hopeful playfulness to her voice. She almost sounds nervous. 

"What? No…" he says. The comment takes him by surprise, snapping him back to attention. "...Well maybe some gargoyles." His joking tone and comforting energy has her giggling. She doesn't remember the last time she giggled. She feels his eyes on her, and tries not to look over at him. She does anyway. 

"You're not that bad, you know." He muses. She tries to control her breathing. She doesn't say anything. 

"Also," he continues, looking back over at the windshield, "I should thank you for that night at the skatepark, keeping me in the show. It means a lot, it's… a really big deal to me." He looks up and left at the top of the car window, mind already wandering about how if he had quit, he never would have gotten close to you like this, never would have fallen in… your arms the way he had that night. He can't imagine you not being in his life, and he has Gina to thank in part for that. He feels a sense of gratitude blooming for her. They talk a little more, and the feeling grows; Gina really is not that bad. He can feel a friendly bond growing between them, a sense of comradery. 

"So… now is probably a good time to ask about the whole drink thing," he starts with a chuckle. She ducks her head, equal parts embarrassed at her actions, and that he saw her at such a low moment. She lets out a sigh. The gesture reminds him of something you might do. He thinks you two would be good friends. He’s already imagining what you’ll say when he fills you in on all this, he’s excited to get your opinion. 

“...My mom moves around a lot for work. Like, a lot…” 

Once she starts, she can’t stop, and it’s not long before she’s unintentionally spilled her guts and her life story to him. She wishes she could stop talking, but it’s like she totally lost her filter with him. She’s always been so reserved, so calculated, and now she doesn’t even have time to think before the words are already spilling out. It’s a new feeling, being so candid with someone, and an unsettling one. 

She risks a glance over at Ricky, who’s just… listening to her. Taking in what she says. That somehow makes her more nervous than if he’d just ignored her or told her to shut up already. She wishes someone would tell her to shut up, she wishes she could. She finally gets to the end of her never ending stream of consciousness, and she’s stunned as they sit in the silence, Ricky really absorbing her words, her feelings. He reaches over and grabs her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze before letting go - a mannerism he picked up from you. Heat floods her chest, prickly and almost painful, hyper aware of where his skin just touched hers.

“You know, you-” She’ll never know what he was going to say, his words are cut short by the porch lights flashing through the windshield. Gina’s stomach sinks. She doesn’t want to go inside yet. She doesn’t want this moment to be over, but she has to listen to her mom. She reaches for the door, then hesitates. She turns back to Ricky, desperate to try one more time, to put herself out there, to plant some roots. 

“I meant what I said at the skate park… about you having your own style.” 

He smiles, looking down with a breathy chuckle. His leg is bouncing slightly, he can’t wait to get back to school and dance with you more, spend the rest of this magical night with you. 

“Thank you, that’s-” He’s cut off again, this time by the kiss Gina presses to his cheek. She’s out of the car and inside before he can look at her face. She holds her coat tight around her against the chilly rain beginning to drizzle down, and a second later, the front door closes and she’s inside.He lets out another chuckle, different this time. ‘That was weird.’ He thinks. He barely has the thought before his stomach drops, a sick, cold fear clutching him. What if you find out Gina kissed him? What if you find out and you hate him, what if he breaks your heart into a million pieces without trying? Or worse, what if you lose interest in him because you think he likes Gina? He can feel himself panicking at the idea, unable to stop the onslaught of all too real feeling anxieties wracking his mind, creating a pit in his stomach as he peels out of the driveway and makes his way back to school. 

No, no, that’s not going to happen. He’s not going to lose you because he’s not able to express how much he cares about you. He’s not going to let that happen. Trying to hold this panic at bay, he pulls out his phone as he walks through the parking lot towards the school again. How to show someone you love them. He types the words into google, skimming article titles, reddit threads, quora responses, until he finds himself at the gym doors. He sees you across the room, dancing in a group with Carlos, Ashlyn, Natalie, and Seb. ‘Oh, Seb’s here. That’s good,’ he thinks, a momentary relief that at least one or two fires had been put out tonight. He spots Big Red on the opposite side of the room, and makes his way over to him carefully, trying not to be seen by you. He can’t be around you until he figures this out, he can’t hurt you like this. 

Ricky approaches Big Red with an intense energy he has trouble reading, before Ricky starts to speak. 

“Dude,” he says, voice intense and hushed, “Gina kissed me on the cheek.” 

“That’s great!” 

“No, it’s not!” Ricky says, clearly very frazzled. Okay, that’s where this is going. 

“That’s awful!” Red course corrects as Ricky fills him in on the car ride with Gina. As he tells Red everything that happened, Ricky finds himself kind of hating Gina right now. Why would she do this to him, why would she put him in this position? Does she hate him or something? He thinks she must, there’s no other reason for her to sabotage his relationship with you like this. She must hate him if she’s trying to ruin the most important thing in his life. 

“Listen, I really, really like her…” his eyes keep flicking over to you, gaze magnetized by your presence, “like, a lot. How can I make sure I don’t fuck this up? Because I can not fuck up with her.”

“Woah, man,” Red starts, trying to help Ricky ground himself a little, “chill out. In all fairness, cheek kisses can be platonic.” 

“Right,” Ricky nods, starting to feel assured, and Red continues. 

“So, if Gina wants to date you when you’re… kind of seeing someone, she has to make that more clear to you.”

“Right.” Ricky states, agreeing. He really hopes she doesn’t. 

“I think you’re okay,” Red says, sensing his energy changing already, “just make sure she knows how much you like her. Make it really, objectively obvious.” 

Yeah. He just has to make it obvious. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says to Red, his eyes locked on you as you laugh at something Carlos says, making his stomach twist and tingle, “I just have to make sure she knows how much… I like her.” 

Red watches him make his way over to you, a spring in his step and a plan in his mind. Thank god for Dr. Phil, Red thinks, or else there’s no way he’d be able to help his friends navigate all their drama. He chuckles at the thought, watching Ashlyn fix the strap of your dress. 

Ricky checks his phone one more time on the way over, looking over a chart of love languages one more time. He’s not sure what your love language is, so he’ll just have to try all of them and see what you seem to like best. Gift giving and acts of service aren’t really options right now, so tonight he’ll focus on words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. If he has to drown you in all five love languages at once to make sure you know how he feels about you, he will. 

“Hey,” he starts, watching your reaction nervously, scared you somehow already hate him. You turn around at the sound of his voice, eyes lighting up. 

“Hey!” you smile, “You’re back!” you grab his arm, pulling him in closer to the group. 

“Seb’s here,” you say, and he smiles, relieved at your reaction. 

“Hey, man,” he smiles. 

“Fill me in later,” you say quietly, referring to giving Gina a ride, and he nods, a little bit ready to forget the whole thing. 

Now that all the drama, wardrobe malfunctions, and late entrances are out of the way, you and what remains of your friends spend the rest of the night like you intended; dancing, laughing, and taking great pictures together. Later on into the night, everyone’s just about had their fill of fun and the party starts winding down. You split up, most of your friends piling into the Salt Lake slices delivery van so Red can drop them off. After some more hugs and laughs, you finally part ways, climbing into the passenger seat of his orange Volkswagen Beetle. 

His heart is thumping as you grab his hand and squeeze it a little once you’re on your way back to his house, causing a fresh wave of heat to rise to his face, and god he's nervous right now. His mind is still screaming at him that you're going to hate him, that he has to prove his feelings to you. He lets out a small little laugh at the gesture. 

“Well,” you start, tired from the night, but thriving off the energy between you, “that could have gone way worse…” 

“Yeah,” he laughs, nodding in agreement. You talk for the whole drive back to his place. You’d planned on staying over tonight since Ricky was driving and you figured it would be late, plus your mom’s car is at the mechanic so she’s using yours until some time tomorrow. You exchange sleepy chuckles as he parks. He checks his phone one more time as you leave the car, opening an article of women submitting stories about how they knew a guy loved them in a new tab. He sees a text from his dad - the date went well, he hopes Ricky and you had a good time at homecoming, and he’s going to bed so try to keep the noise down when you get back. 

“My dad’s asleep,” he says softly, unlocking the door. He guides you inside, hand resting low on your back, and closes the door quietly behind him. Walking quietly from his foyer to his room shouldn’t have been a problem, but standing in the darkness with Ricky, you both suddenly find it hard not to start giggling. Hushing each other, you quickly sneak up the stairs past Mr. Bowen’s room, down the hall to Ricky’s room. He barely closes the door and flicks the lock closed before dissolving into giggles. You kick off your heels, glad to finally take them off, and grab a makeup wipe from your bag. He digs through his clothes for a second before handing you a big t-shirt to sleep in. 

“Thanks,” you say, throwing away the makeup wipes. He gazes at you, watching you transition from formal and made up to casual and comfortable, your beauty unwavering. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone as pretty as you before. You watch him take off his jacket and tie, and undo the first button or two of his shirt. The action sends butterflies to your stomach and heat to your core. You glance away. You stand up, seeing if you can reach the zipper of your dress. Before you can ask, you feel Ricky behind you. 

“Need some help with that?” He asks, closer to your ear than you’d expected and resting his hands on your waist. You both chuckle.

“Yeah,” you state, voice low and soft. He moves slowly, unzipping the back of your dress, careful not to snag the delicate fabric. You feel the bodice loosen around you, the end of the zipper stopping at the small of your back. He doesn’t move away. You can feel his breath fan over your shoulder, hand still resting on your waist. 

His face is so close to yours, and he mutters your name softly before pressing a kiss to your jawline, then another and another. He moves down, burying his face in your neck as he continues to press hot, open mouthed kisses against your skin. He breathes in your perfume, peachy and sweet and intoxicating. He nips at your neck causing you to gasp, his hands moving below the draping fabric and directly onto your warm skin. You sigh at the contact. He pulls you closer to him, holding you tight as he sucks on your neck. Your dress is slipping off your shoulders, barely on at all anymore, as he begins to feel you up, touching you and caressing you so tenderly. 

“Ricky,” you sigh. Your voice sounds so pretty when you’re like this. 

“God, I-” he breathes, barely catching the words before they’re out. He lets out a nervous laugh, causing you to giggle in his grasp. He shushes you through his own laughter, his hands never ceasing the way they rome over your body. 

"We have to be quiet," he says, turning you around in his arms, pressing himself up against you, trying so, so hard not to kiss you yet. 

"I can be quiet…" you state, a jokingly incredulous tone in your voice. You stare each other down, and he tries not to break first, tries not to smile or laugh, but god, it’s impossible not to smile when he looks at you. Before he can crack, before he loses all composure and bares his soul for you, places his heart eternally in your hands to do as you please with, he pivots. 

"Yeah?" He asks, and you feel the energy change, growing electric between you. "Is that a challenge?"

His tone is dangerous and he watches your eyes get wide. A second later he has you pinned against his mattress, pressing playful nips and kisses against your skin as muffled giggles and sighs escape your pretty mouth. His hands move down, grabbing your exposed skin as he kisses you harder and harder, riling the both of you up. You tear off the little remaining clothes either of you has on and he begins to roll his hips against you, grinding his hot, throbbing member against your heat. You let out a breathy moan, louder than before, as he continues to rock his hips against yours. 

“That wasn’t very quiet,” he murmurs into your ear between kisses to your cheek and jawline. Your chest vibrates against his, and a wave of relief washes through him. You don’t hate him. He loves that feeling he gets when he makes you laugh, he wants to make you do it again. 

“I can stay quiet,” you insist, already swept away by his touch, distracted by the warm kisses and bites he’s planting on your neck and chest. You’re even more distracted by the feeling of his fingers making their way down, brushing against your clit as they come into contact with the arousal dripping down your folds. He smiles, realizing if he can get you this turned on, this touchy, you must like him. He pushes his fingers in, finally met again with the cathartic feeling of your cushy, bumpy walls squeezing and folding around him. Arousal gushes, dripping down his fingers as he begins to stimulate the tight, sensitive muscles stretching around his fingers. He dwells on the feeling for a moment, maybe two, before you’re moaning again. It makes him laugh. 

“I sure hope you can,” he says, another dangerously playful look on his face, “cause if you get too loud…” He watches you for a split second, hanging on his words, anticipation written across your face, “I’m gonna stop.” 

Your stomach flip flops, exploding with butterflies at his words. Before you can look at his face, before you can gauge how serious he is about following through on his threat, his lips are on yours again. He kisses you, mouth open, tongue already prodding into your mouth. You’re lucky, you think, that he’s unintentionally muffling your noises with his mouth. You’re really lucky, because he quickly finds your g-spot, and there are a couple moans you couldn’t hold back if your life depended on it.

Every sigh, every gasp, every beautiful heart pounding moan Ricky elicits from you sends a fresh wave of relief and reassurance through him. You don’t hate him, and you’re not going to. You could never when he’s this good, this devoted to you. It’s impossible for him not to be when you’re so good to him. You’re so responsive to his touch, you’re totally on the same wavelength. 

You must know what he’s telling you through his actions, through the way he looks at you, the words he’s had to bite back from spilling out more than once. You wouldn’t be dripping down his fingers and moaning into his mouth and grabbing at him like this, you wouldn’t be in his bed if you didn’t feel the way he does about you - or even something close to it. He’ll happily take whatever you want to give him. Of course he wants it all, he wants to completely take over your heart, but just a little bit will keep him happy until he can.

“Right there,” you whine against his lips, “fuck, just like that… feels so good…” you mutter. 

‘See?’ he thinks, ‘You don’t say stuff like that if you don’t like someone a lot, much less moan it…’ 

It’s working. His plan to not lose you is working, he just has to make you cum so hard you can’t think straight, as many times as possible. And he’s going to, because there’s no way he can risk losing you. So he brings up his thumb, rubbing it over your clit as he curls his fingers against your gummy walls. It’s euphoric and overwhelming, and you barely have time to tug his hair before you’re cumming and pulsing around his fingers. 

You squeeze and clamp tight around him, and he can’t resist anymore. He needs his tongue inside you, he needs to taste you, feel you squeeze his tongue and cream into his mouth. So he pulls away, already missing the feeling of your mouths against each other, and gazes at you, breath fanning across your cheeks, eyes locked. He takes you in, thumb caressing your cheek while the other continues to fondle your clit. After a moment he’s able to break his gaze away, and he moves down, pushing your legs open. You heart thumps in your chest in anticipation as he begins to lick and suck on your heat, tongue flicking into your drippy hole. 

As soon as he gets a taste, he wants more. He stretches out his tongue, going to town on your cunt. Every sigh and tug of his hair, every attempt to muffle your moans makes him more eager to have you gush your sweet sticky cum all over him. This time he has some experience, and he’s making the most of it. He finds those spots inside you that make your eyes roll back, switching between them, bumping his nose against your clit, drawing stifled moan after stifled moan from you. One slips out, for real this time, and he pauses. It takes all his willpower; your scent is intoxicating and your taste is addictive, but the look on your face when you realize he’s standing by what he said is totally worth it. 

“I told you,” he murmurs against your core, the vibrations and tone of his voice sending electricity through you, “we have to be quiet…” Your hand is clamped over your mouth, and you nod. Your timing couldn’t be better, because you don’t have time to finish the gesture before he dives back in. After that, it doesn’t take much to send you over the edge. 

You give him everything he’s wanted all night, squeezing and gushing all over him while he laps up everything, holding down your hips while he shoves his tongue deeper inside you. It’s always surprising how far inside you he’s able to get it. You whine and moan, choking out praise as he already begins building up another high. He’s throbbing, desperate for anything you’ll give him, and he wants to make you say more shit like that. He wants to be good for you. 

“Oh god- fuck, Ricky!” you choke out in a whisper, one hand tangled in his hair, the other clamped over your mouth. You’re already close again, he can feel it. He knew this would work. He knew he could prove to you how much you mean to him. He doubles his efforts, squeezing your thighs and grinding his face against your pussy, still dripping from the last times he made you cum. His eyes are half lidded and locked on you, watching your face, the way you squirm below his touch, the way your tits bounce with every movement. You’re not sure how long it is until he has you absolutely gushing and convulsing around his tongue again, but every moment is filled with ecstasy. 

“Fuck you’re good at that…” you murmur, hand now playing with his hair instead of pulling it. “You’re one of the good ones, huh?” 

You probably could have knocked him out with a feather. Your words reverberate in his mind, and his cheeks flush. One of the good ones. Yeah. 

He’s throbbing harder than before, almost painfully turned on. He climbs back up over you, but before he can reach into his nightstand for a condom, you flip him over, straddling him. You look down at him with those beautiful eyes that hold every star in the night sky, biting your lip in that endearing way of yours. Your hands are warm on his shoulders, and he’s stunned at the suddenness of your action, and really eager to see where you’re going with this. He could watch you like this for hours, freezing this moment in time forever, eternally content with you, the way you touch him and look at him. You lean down closer to him, breath tickling his cheeks. 

“My turn.” 

You smile, the words coming out in a hushed giggle. Before he can blink, you’re grabbing his rock hard cock, squeezing it in your hands and teasing the tip as you spread around the precum already dripping down the side. He watches you, eyes wide and excited as you open your mouth, wrapping your lips around him. Your mouth is velvety soft, warm and wet, and he has to try not to cum on the spot. You pump the base of his cock, taking more of him in your mouth, and he tries not to buck his hips. He tries so hard not to move at all, tries to be good for you while you work your magic on him. He lets out a long, low moan. Suddenly you freeze, popping your lips off with a small wet noise as you look up at him. 

“Stay quiet or I stop…” you tease, throwing his own conditions back at him. He nods, panting at your words. “Good boy.” You murmur under your breath, but he definitely hears. Good boy. He can feel the oxytocin flooding his brain, and you barely get your lips around him and start bobbing your head before he feels it.

“I’m close,” he chokes out, and you look up at him. He watches a smirk appear at the corners of your eyes before you drag your tongue along the bottom of his cock. It’s more than enough, and he watches in utter awe as he shoots his load into your mouth, and you swallow all of it. The sight is enough to have him throbbing again. He bites back more moans, desperate for you to keep going, for you to call him a good boy again. You bob your head along his length, tongue dragging along the vein on the underside of his cock. 

One hand comes down to fondle his balls, and a choked moan slips out. He never knew he could feel this good. He never knew one person could make him like this. You continue to lick and suck, squeeze and pump and rub, and soon he’s fighting another orgasm, hoping to bask in the feeling of your mouth around him for just a little longer. His prayers are in vain, he realizes, as he shoots another load of sticky, salty cum into your mouth. You have no trouble taking this one either. You continue to suck and lick, riding out the last of his high, before finally releasing him with a soft pop. 

Thoroughly fucked out, he watches you climb up next to him, awestruck. You grab a blanket, pulling it over the both of you, and moving his face to press a few more kisses to his lips. Your tastes mingle as your tongues connect, and Ricky doesn’t think he’s ever tasted something that delicious. He wants more of it. It’s only when you eventually pull away that your eyes land on the clock behind him. 

“Christ, it’s late,” you murmur. You blink heavily, Ricky mirroring the action, and you trace your thumb over his cheek, just looking at him a little longer. You tug the blanket up a little higher, snuggling up next to him. He holds you close on instinct, still trying to process everything that happened tonight in spite of how exhausted he is. It hits him suddenly, and he struggles to stay awake so he can appreciate the kiss you press to his jaw, the warm feeling of your hand on his chest.

He tries so hard to stay awake, to look at you for a little while, because no amount of time with you feels like enough. He refuses to acknowledge the heavy way he blinks and squeezes his eyes, trying to force them to focus on you, but he can feel himself losing the fight against the deep sleep he’s about to slip into. This night was a success, he thinks. He did a good job.

Late morning sunlight streams through his window, finally dragging Ricky back into the waking world. He looks over, missing your presence, and finds his bed empty. As he rolls over, he’s struck by the sweet, intoxicating scent of your peachy perfume. It’s all over his pillow, his sheets, his blankets. His whole room smells faintly of your scent. He buries his nose in the pillow where you’d slept, breathing it in, taking him right back to last night. 

Eventually, he checks his phone. It’s later than he’d expected, but he’s greeted with a text from you, bringing an immediate, even bigger smile to his face. 

He sighs, lovestruck. He doesn’t want to get out of bed, doesn’t want the scent of your perfume to fade. He just wants to bask in it. 

#ricky bowen smut #hsmtmts ricky #ricky bowen x reader #ricky bowen imagine #ricky hsmtmts #ricky bowen #hsmtmts imagine #hsmtmts smut #hsmtmts #rocks at your window #also your moms pfp is lorelai gilmore cause shes cool not bc its a face claim or smth #yk

[lorettapetrichor]

being disabled was a lot like being gay or trans when i was growing up. i knew it existed. i knew their experiences contained certain elements abled and cishet peoples' didnt. but they were all kinda distant and not things i considered as something i could be or become. it felt a lot like a personal version of the "as long as its not my kid" defense except "as long as its not me." i didnt dislike the idea of me being gay, i actually loved it--the popular crowd at my school was in fact the gay friend group--and that makes sense in retrospect. it just wasnt an option that felt available to me. i hung out with the queer kids in middle school and spent so much time wondering if i was like them, but it was so foreign that i didnt even know how to conceptualize that difference from "theyre gay" to "im gay." they were like two different states and all those other queer kids out there were their own people while i was just me. and then lo and behold, skip ahead a few years later and im a queer nonbinary lesbian.

and like with queerness, i always knew disabled people were out there with different experiences, and that they too needed rights and acceptance--but even as my genetic chronic illness began presenting itself and my pain became worse and i began struggling more and more, i still suffered so much imposter syndrome. i was chronically ill, but of course i wasnt disabled! i didnt have to use a cane, i could get by without people knowing i was sick, and once again, i considered myself an outsider to that community because i couldnt imagine myself fitting in.

and its only set in recently that oh my god i am disabled and it does fuck me over just as much as the disabled influencers across social media i see vlogging their struggles. these days, most of my time at home is spent in bed. i can barely function enough to make it through school or even do my hobbies. its incredibly disheartening and discouraging and somehow, only once i see my lifelong dreams of my future put in peril by this shift in my life, i finally see myself as disabled.

i feel like i had an actual thesis to this but the brain fog has been kicking my ass lately--but really theres both just something to be said about the overlap of queer and disabled experiences and why so many queer people are disabled and vice verse because of the mindset these experiences put you into, and also the reminder that anyone can be disabled whether they appear to be or not (yes, even physically) as well as the fact that disability can happen at any age. im 17 and was diagnosed with ehlers-danlos at 16. there were signs throughout my life but over the past year and especially last months, its actually started to really really impact me more extremely negatively than before. i wrote this because i didnt have the energy to do the 6+ homework assignments i needed to do today so . idk it used up the rest of my energy and i might go to sleep very quickly after hitting post. bleh

#lore talks #ehlers danlos #disability #lgbtq #actually disabled

[topofmythighs]

omg hi, i literally just discovered your blog but i saw this post and was wondering:

could you do "breathless kiss" with Sam? maybe with a college student reader who hasn't seen him since he left (and maybe like S1 or S2 Sam)?

absolutely! i apologize for this taking so long, life has been up n down a lot lately.

stanford sweater

sam winchester x gender neutral reader

rundown: yknow, the pilot episode! sam, somethings wrong with dad! he’s missing on a hunting trip! ugh, but dean, i don’t wanna leave my amazing reader! fine i will, but we’re twin flames so obvi we’re gonna find each other again

warnings: none, this is fluffy and cheesy (get over it)

word count: 2,208

my masterlist

gif creds to tumblr user @/guchie

“well,” they say, awkwardly placing their fork back down onto their plate. sam clears his throat to cut through the silence. “uhm, your dad, how is he?”

the last time they were together was years ago, back when sam was still a student at stanford. after meeting each other at some random stoner’s bonfire in first year, the two became inseparable. so many nights were spent in each other’s dorms with the intention of completing homework, but with the outcome of heated kisses and mumbled compliments.

there was nothing hard about loving sam, and there was nothing hard about loving them. when sam was around them, his heart felt complete.

“i dunno how you did this to me,” he would mumble to them as they laid on his chest. their dorm room was decorated with muted browns and greens, making the room feel that much more comfortable. once they hummed in question, sam mentioned how they made him soft, mushy even.

“i’m supposed to be tough for you,” he’d grumble. “but you make me soft and-“

“adorable,” they would giggle before stretching up and kissing his lips. “you are adorable. and you still are my big, tough, protector, but c’mon sammy, you’ve always been such a softie.”

sam swats away their hand that is pinching his cheeks and he blushes, his heart filling with love, heat, and admiration for his partner. when he was younger, sam often felt like the butt of the joke, an outcast. but when he arrived at stanford, he felt at home. he wasn’t sure if the feeling of belonging came from being away from his family or if it came from the heavenly, sparkly-eyed person who fell asleep on him every night.

he realized that deep feeling of security came from them when his brother visited him at school.

“sam, it’s about dad,” dean said, eyes bouncing from sam’s to his partner’s, then back to sam’s.

“dean,” sam started. “i told you, whatever is going on, i don’t want to be involved in it.” sam’s mind was running a thousand miles a minute, and he wished his legs would too. he came to school for a reason, and he left his family with the promise of never being part of the winchester business again.

“well,” dean sighed. “he’s on a hunting trip, and no one’s heard from him in a while. just wanted you to know.” dean nodded at sam’s partner, who smiled back. “hopefully you can get your head out of your ass and come help, sammy.”

dean left sam’s dorm, destined to get lost, but too hard-headed to ask for directions. sam and them sat on his bed, and they adjusted his grey stanford sweater around them tighter, feeling cold from dean’s presence.

“sammy?”

his eyes met theirs, and they were darker, glossier even, than they had ever seen them. he smiled tightly, and shook his head to himself, looking at his lap.

“i came here to run away,” he whispered, his heart bubbling with emotions.

“i know that, sammy,” they whispered, taking his hand in theirs. his hands were rough along the palms, but fingers soft. it was a lovely combination to them. “but it’s your dad, and it must be pretty serious if your brother came to tell you about it.”

sam sighs, squeezing their hand tight. “how am i supposed to leave everything here and go back?”

they were confused, scared to read too deep into what sam was saying. his dad was disconnected from his sons, an action that was clearly foreign to the boys; why wasn’t he rushing to go and find him? what was so terrible about helping his brother find his missing father?

through hours of convincing and reasoning, they assured sam that helping dean find their father was the best decision he could make.

the next morning came too soon. all of this was too rushed, they could agree on that, but sam’s angelic partner reassured him that his departure wasn’t what should be tugging on his heart. he loved that they always tried to put him first, but he feared their heart was hurting too much, and that he may not be able to mend it. they understood the importance of loyalty and family, though, and couldn’t justify holding sam back from helping.

“i will still be here when you come back, sammy,” they said, tears welling.

“i know, angel,” he whispered, his hand on their cheek. dean was putting boxes of sam’s things into his shiny car, grunting and kind of ruining the moment. “i just don’t want to leave you.“

the wind was strong on the frigid march morning, causing them both to shiver and hold each other’s hands tight for warmth. the fog was still rolling in, making campus seem like a salem based fiction novel. sam’s charcoal grey jacket made his shoulders look even broader, making his partner’s desire to snuggle into him even more compelling. so, they wrapped their arms around his waist, nuzzling their face into him. he kissed the top of their head, wrapping his arms around them too.

“i’m gonna miss you, sammy,” they sighed.

he squeezed tighter. “i’m gonna miss you too, angel. but i’ll call you, yeah?“

they nodded and pulled away. “please do.”

with soft smiles, a small kiss, and a solemn wave goodbye, they never saw sam again. they never heard from him, or dean, even. eventually, after a few months of desperately trying to reach him, crying into some sweaters he left for them, and coming to terms with their apparent breakup, the sparkly eyed past lover of sam’s moved on.

they dated here and there, nothing ever coming close to the feeling they had with sam. there was never a spark, let alone one that came back every time their hand was held. there was no scent that could ever hold up to sam’s. the loss of him left a chunk out of their heart, especially.

it wasn’t until just shy of two years later that they saw sam again. his hair was still the same, messy from his head shakes to get it out of his eyes. his stature seemed more muscular; the way he held himself seemed more confident. when they caught his hazel eyes for the first time in too long, they seemed dimmer and agate. he had blinked them a few times, as if he was focusing on them from across the diner. he smiled doubtfully, insecure and unsure. he held his hand out to dean, gesturing for him to take a seat, and he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans.

he walked up to their booth, their eyes never leaving his since the bell of the diner door chimed. his heart squeezed when he noticed that they were wearing an oversized stanford sweater, clearly one of his own.

“hey,” he sighed out, smiling shyly.

“hey,” they replied, looking up at the man, once a boy they had fallen in love with.

“uhm, can i?” he asked, gesturing to the seat. they nodded, and before they could smile in reassurance, sam started to ramble. “i’m so sorry. i was a total dick and left you high and dry without another word, and i’m so sorry that i fucked up the way i did. there hasn’t,” he sighed again and looked around the diner, scared to meet their eyes. “there hasn’t been a day where i haven’t thought about you and how whole you made me feel.”

“hey,” they repeated, this time not as a gesture, but as a reminder to sam that their heart never held a grudge. the soft sound of their voice lit his heart up again. “it’s okay. really, sam. it’s been a long time. it would be immature of me to feel any kind of resentment towards you. you did what you had to do.” they smile softly, and their waitress comes by to ask sam what he wants.

while he asks the waitress for a coffee and the house special, dean catches the eyes of sam’s old partner, a small smile coming onto his face. they smile back, trying to not make things awkward.

so the two talk, getting used to each other again. it’s small talk, sure, but they’re both remembering the inflections in each other’s voices on certain words; sam listening for the slight lisp of the letter s that they speak with; them hearing the grit in his voice.

it’s mindless small talk. “well,” they say, awkwardly placing their fork back down onto their plate. sam clears his throat to cut through the silence. “uhm, your dad, how is he?”

sam grunts and shifts awkwardly in his seat. “he, uh,” he begins, desperately trying to remember the story he and dean said to law enforcement to cover up the death of their father. “he passed away on that hunting trip.”

they sit back in their seat, quickly muttering an apology to sam.

“it’s okay, really,” he says. “we’re getting through it.”

they nod, instinctually reaching for sam’s large hand. their hands rest together for a brief second before they try to pull away, but sam holds their hand instead. their fingers interlock, and it’s a little awkward to hold hands over a table, but they’re feeling those sparks that they’ve only ever felt with sam, and suddenly, everything’s feeling okay again.

“i really missed you, sammy,” they say, shy eyes meeting his again.

“i really missed you, angel,” he replies, squeezing their hand tighter.

“so,” they say, clearing their throat and moving their hand from sam’s. “do you live here now, too? or just visiting town?”

he awkwardly smiles, moving his hand from the table and back onto his lap. “uhm, just visiting. you?”

they shake their head to themselves, disappointed that their reconnection won’t last long. with their optimistic eyes, they reply, “i live here now. want to go for a walk and i can show you around?”

sam blushes. “that would be really nice.”

after paying, sam telling dean to go do his own thing, and walking out of the diner, the pair make their way down the street. they tell him about the cool buildings and explain all the businesses inside them while sam feels his heart light up from their voice.

he does something he doesn’t feel like he has the privilege to do, but grabs their hand anyway. when they feel it, they glance down at their hands, and instead of tugging away like sam assumes, they tighten their grip on his hand and keep showing him around the block. the autumn air is crisp and the setting sun is still warm; sam feels like he can breathe again.

they find their way to a small park, sitting on a bench to be entertained by the dogs and children running around. red and orange leaves paint the ground, a familiar scene from the year the pair met. there’s not much conversation between the two, as they’re both just focusing on the presence of one another.

“hey,” sam starts, catching their eyes. he smiles, his teeth as white as they remembered. “thank you for this.”

they nod, smiling back. “of course, sammy.”

he squeezes their hands tighter. “i missed you.”

with a small frown, they reply with “i miss you, too,” feeling their heart yearn for him. “please,” they whisper, looking at his crystal clear hazel eyes. “don’t leave me just yet.”

his heart squeezes from the plead, his mind cursing himself for ever hurting someone this way. “i wasn’t planning on it.” there’s a few moments of the pair looking into each other’s eyes, admiring the feeling of being together again. sam places his hand on their cheek, the other hand still holding theirs.

he fears he’s overstepping again, but leans forward to kiss the lips of the first person he fell in love with. it’s a small kiss, just a peck - he really didn’t want to overstep.

they release his hand, and for a mere second, sam’s heart drops; but, their arms wrap around his neck and kiss him repeatedly. the feeling is so familiar, eliciting smiles from them both.

his hands find their thighs, resting on top of them and feeling the chilliness of their skin through their jeans. he grabs gently, hoping to warm them up. they giggle, pulling back and looking into sam’s eyes. their faces are close together when they whisper, “sam winchester, you are somethin’ else.”

he laughs and touches their noses together, kissing them again quickly. “as are you, angel.”

they sit on the bench still, their bodies close together as they talk about what should come next. sam tells them how empty he’s felt, how they make him feel at home. he explains how he doesn’t want that feeling to go away ever again, promising them that he wants to make this work again.

they beg for reassurance, for a solid and sure promise that sam will never leave them again. he assures them that he will do everything he has to for them to stay together.

“it’s nice to feel this way again, sammy,” they say, eyes squinting from the setting sun.

“yeah,” he agrees breathlessly. “it really is, angel.”

#sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x oc #sam winchester x y/n #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x gender neutral reader #sam winchester x reader #sam x you #baby sam has my heart #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural #honey writes

[russilton]

on my knees again begging for rb!george crumbs. any angsty headcanons on what george does on sleepless nights? or what directly happens in the hours after he gets announced into merc? any george hc's would do bc i love this au sm 🤲🤲 - @ruszhou

Ame I will always give you RB au crumbs bc you know how to ask the best.

George and sleepless nights are a common occurrence, even before Redbull stop effectively letting him sleep.

RB au spoilers below the cut

RB AU MASTER POST

Tw for mentions of unhealthy relationships with sleep, drinking and food, as well as the abusive and isolating environment George endures at RB

It starts the way a lot of us get insomnia: chronic workaholism

George has always been a bit of a workaholic, even before he got into professional single seater racing, in his karting days he spent every minute his parents would let him at the track, and would stay up late doing homework for school, knowing if he didn’t, the karts would be the first thing to go. It continues that way, even though George never goes to university, there’s plenty of studying to do around his tracks, and George pretty much walks out of school and into his professional formula career (this is true for real life George, he walks out of a prestigious grammar school at 18 and comes p2 in an F3 championship… insane twink, this man is)

Gushing aside (we’re heading into AU territory here, so I’m talking fully out of my ass rather than using fact), George signs for Redbull at 19, and while his sleep improves for a while, at least when he’s in a bed. He’s travelling near constantly between Milton Keynes and race tracks, testing for Redbull, attending meetings with Helmut and the drivers Academy, and then when he’s signed to Torro Rosso he can add flying to Italy to that burden. He has to learn to adjust to timezone switches or he’ll pass out in the car, but he dislikes sleeping while flying, and tends to read instead, something Alex and Pierre love to tease him for. He favours autobiographies of other drivers and other sports people, along with books about engineering and car design. He doesn’t understand all of it, but he hopes he can learn enough to at least not sounds like a dumb kid. (yes he has Lewis’ book, but that one tends not to travel with him, stays safe at home where the signature across the inner cover can’t get smudged. George has an ebook version for travel.

In 2020 his sleep deteriorates rapidly. He can’t share rooms with Alex or Pierre anymore, who would throw pillows or discarded socks at him for keeping them up with his book light, they’re all separated to prevent Covid spread. And they’re spread out by more than just regulation; Pierre turning always from them both scornfully for how they take advantage of his mistakes, and George doing the exact same thing to Alex. This means there’s nobody to stop him staying up late into the night studying the tracks he’ll be racing, till he can practically draw them blindfolded. His keen track knowledge is vital if he wants to show up Alex, he gets less time to track walk than he did before covid too. It means George often cruises through races without any damage he caused, can take the more dangerous lines that others can’t because he knows the limits of his car. He turns that funky little AT into a monster by taking bigger risks, he only crashes out once that year on his own, and he’s patted on the back for the delay it causes.

When he becomes Max’s teammate, he sleeps better for a while. Max tries to get him to go out to parties with him, and George only goes a couple times before he starts shaking it off. Then he starts sleeping with Lewis, and well, there’s nothing like coming so hard your legs quiver to help a guy sleep. To his credit he doesn’t normally stick around after they fuck, George prefers to pull his pants up and head back to his own space. And he and Lewis aren’t exactly cuddly, so Lewis is happy to see him out with a slap on the ass and a teasing comment. They can’t risk getting caught either, with motorhomes and hotels that’s too easy. The only time Lewis may let George stay is monaco, even if it’s just a couple hours. He just fucked the guy against his window, he can offer him dinner at least since George has no idea where to go in monaco (this is Lewis’ first hint that George may not be quite the same as other rookie drivers, who are no doubt out drowning in vodka and club beats at that moment) they talk, it’s not exactly a heart to heart, but Lewis learns a little about the boy behind the bastard.

And George’s weekends work well like that, he goes into each Friday working hard, his usual routine of training and studying the tracks as he grins and snips his way through interviews, then he races hard and Lewis puts him away wet on Sunday, before he flies back to England to start the process anew. At least until Hungary, when George tips his career upside down.

After his stunt, Redbull drag him back to MK and made him do days on days of sim work. Max of course isn’t there, he’s on his summer break, but RB have different plans for George. Just because the team is meant to be in utter black out shutdown to follow the rules, doesn’t mean they actually do that. It’s redbull. They shout at him for every race sim that isn’t perfect, every team order he ignores, George starts staying up late to try and perfect his times so they just give him a break. His fingers crack and blister from how long he’s sat in front of screens, and they tell him his workout routine isn’t enough, and he has to push harder in the gym, his diet is heavily restricted and George can’t go a day without his physio poking and prodding his weight and routine.

When he shows up at SPA looking like he hasn’t slept, it’s because he hasn’t had much time to, the only time he’s left alone is to sleep and he subconsciously stops himself from sleeping as much because he’s avoiding another day of hell. If his only personal time is at night, that’s when he stays awake, even if it just makes him feel worse in the morning. When the races restart with that routine comes testing new car parts, playing Max’s Guinea pig with components that haven’t been simulated long enough, Georges drives get harder and more painful, but he pushes through because he has to. He aches to go back to lewis’ bed where he felt safe, where Lewis took control and told him what to do but it felt good. He has nobody to talk to in the paddock anymore. He can’t call his family, he knows what they’ll say and he’s not ready to hear it. He has no friends, he especially can’t talk to Lewis, he spends more than a few nights awake scrolling Instagram and Twitter to see what Lewis, or indeed any of them are doing, to feel any small level of engagement.

After Monza, he has occasional nightmares filled with Redbull staff laughing as Max parks his car on Lewis’ head. On those nights he wants to call Lewis, just to hear his voice, but he doesn’t, he just lies awake and calls himself pathetic.

When he podiums at the Turkish GP after Russia, he drinks the entire bottle of champagne that evening just to sleep a little faster.

Even after Merc approaches him to sign, and he then does, his sleep doesn’t improve. Now his worries are Red Bull finding out, a copy of his contract hid in a safe at his home out of sheer paranoia. His texts with Lewis, however short and unemotional, hidden behind passworded screens. He knows it’s ridiculous but he can’t stop himself laying awake at night going over how to keep this secret just a little longer, wondering if he made the right choice. What if Lewis was lying to him too, and he should have been grateful for the AT seat helmut might offer him.

He doesn’t sleep, fully and deeply, till after Abu Dahbi. When it’s over, he doesn’t have to get up and face Redbull and Max in the morning, all sulking over their “undeserved loss”. He goes to sleep in the same bed as lewis; their hands brushing as George passes out full of food his physio would hate and tipsy on champagne, relief and Lewis. He wakes up 10 hours later tucked into Lewis’ chest, a strong arm over his back, warm and safe.

His sleep isn’t fixed immediately, he still has nights where he’s up late worrying that the next call he gets will be Toto telling him they’ve actually dropped him, but Lewis texts him photos of Roscoe now he’s brought the dog back to England, and he invites George round the night before the announcement, so they can get take out and bicker over football results, because Lewis knows George is freaking out and needs a distraction, as well as someone to prep with. George sleeps over that night too, unsurprisingly dozing like the dead with Lewis' broad arm wrapped around his waist.

fun fact, I actually worried that the way George signs to merc (secretly and months ahead of any announcement) would be unrealistic and far too drawn out, but little Oscar P really went and proved me wrong didn't he. (No hate to Oscar, guy deserved better, but Mark Webber can go fuck himself)

Following the announcement, Mercedes’ know the fall out will be massive, and so they plan for George and Lewis to be at the factory for the entire day, intent on distracting George from staring at his phone and torturing himself looking at news articles. They basically use it as an excuse for a toned down office Christmas party, Bottas helps introduce George to his engineers, Lewis shows him to the strategy and mechanical team, taking George on a tour of Brackley and telling him stories of fuckery he and valtteri had either endured or created in each and every room. Showing George their trophies just so he can tease Lewis for trying to impress him, and then pointing out all the places where Mercedes’ could have had one of George hadn’t stolen it himself. It’s a little… domestic? George leaves his phone with PR, happy to let them handle his calls, till Toto summons them both back to a meeting room so they can watch a replay of Christian’s face on itv as he realises Mercedes have stolen George from under him. George thinks he should be anxious that the team is laughing at him too, but the way their warm gazes check in with him and Lewis throughout the afternoon, he finally starts to relax and laugh with them. He returns home with Lewis that night, some corny joke about it being too cold to drive all the way back to London alone, Lewis welcoming him with an open arm so they can celebrate George’s freedom privately.

There’s so much work to be done, so many strings to thread or cut loose, but for now they can just enjoy each other’s company without worry.

#britcedes #gewis #4463 #asks #mark’s fic tag #redbull george au

[studywithanoodle]

Week 2

This week, I embraced the green space on my campus a lot more and the way that autumn really made it beautiful. I really went ham with using my new Notion board system, which definitely works the best when I have tasks split into smaller pieces and put onto the table format. This week was a lot busier, but I felt more like myself as a result. I really missed being busy like I was in high school.

A View Into My Week of Work and Studying

This was another week in which I really procrastinated on finishing my lab report for physics. Even though I love physics, I'm allergic to lab work and submitting my lab reports prior to the night before like I did in high school or the day it's due like I do now.

I found that I struggled a bit with my physics homework this week. Of course, I took this as a sign to study the topic, which was work and energy, a lot more since there were some questions I wasn't as familiar with. Due to this realization, I went to the Learning Resource Center in the medical school on Friday (yesterday) to scan some books for practice problems. I printed them in the library along with other problems I collected from past physics classes and the textbook for my course.

At the beginning of the week, the touchpad on my laptop was kind of wonky, so I complained about it to my friends, and one of them was so kind as to get me a mouse, which came on Wednesday. It's made working on my laptop a lot easier, especially since I lowkey hate my touchpad LOL

Friday was my busiest day of the week and was the first time that my assigned study group for my bio course met. I felt like it helped with getting my motivation for studying for my second test up, so I spent a lot of time today working on my study materials. I will take more pictures of them as the next week goes on.

I got new pens today since my desk pencil case (there's a difference between my desk pencil case and my regular one lol) was somehow lacking colored pens for me to use as I revised my notes. There's just something so wonderful about a brand-new gel pen. I also got to explore my new home (the wondrous city) a lot more as a result of going out to get new pens.

Concerns

On Tuesday night, I ended up staying up late working on a presentation for the nonprofit I work for. I ended up going to bed at almost 5 AM, which was fine because I didn't have class the next day. Even though it obviously wasn't a healthy thing to do, I got a lot of work done and might end up doing it again if I have a task that really has been put off for a while.

Hobby Analysis

I actually got some crocheting done today since I decided to pick up the top that I'm making for a friend. Since I've been delaying it a lot due to my schedule, I'm still hoping to finish it by their birthday in mid-December.

Hopes for Next Week

I hope that I will be a lot more consistent with my skincare routine in the next week. I also want to start practicing piano little by little again by maybe going to the practice room every other day or something to get back into it. I also hope to be more productive since I have tests coming up; I now have my second physics exam scheduled for November 22, which is before Thanksgiving.

#studyblr #studyspo #study aesthetic #study space #studysthetics #dark academia #academia #study blog #study notes #books #music #reading #college #university #sunlight #writing #scienceblr #medblr #study inspo #home #study desk #medical school #productivity #stationery #pens #pencil

[adayinalifeofjosie]

First blog?

Hello everyone. :)

This will be my first ever blog entry. So please forgive me if the structure isn’t as good at the moment.

Also, English isn’t my native language but feel free to give me Feedback on how I can approve with sentence building and grammar.  

To test out the waters, I’ll start with a Christmas summary of some sort.

I do have to give a trigger warning, I’ll list the triggers for this post now. 

Triggers:

thoughts of self harm

flashbacks

Let’s start with the week before Christmas. It was stressful. 

Since I’m currently in a Psych Ward, I couldn’t really do much besides panicking about the following days. Therapy has been really tough lately, but I found more skills to help me reduce stress levels. 

Also I, for some reason, started having flashbacks about things that my mind completely suppressed. It was freaking me out because I don’t remember much about my childhood until let’s say, eleven? So suddenly remembering it was…. quite eventful. 

It didn’t help that I started to miss using self-harm to release some of the pressure I felt in my chest. Somehow, I managed not to fall back into old habits, A win is a win, right?

My doctor gave me creative “homework” to reflect myself and also get back into being creative. 

On the twenty-third of december I went to the christmas market with my boyfriend, his mother, step-father and brother. Which is always a fun thing to do when you have social anxiety. I bought more painting supplies, becáuse I realized that I enjoy painting. 

Overall, I enjoyed the evening despite being stressed as fuck. I ate some good ol’ currywurst, a crepe and his mother bought a “Lachsbrötchen” for me. 

As soon as I got back to the clinic, I dropped dead in my bed, because I knew the nexr day would be a challange on its own. For the first time in 25 years, I spent christmas away from home.

 On christmas day, which is the twenty-fourth here in Germany, I joined my Boyfriend

and his father, step-mother and brother for dinner and the “Bescherung”, which basically is the time where we give eachother what we got for them. 

They invited me in with open arms and here I am, two days later, still dreaming about the amazing food they cooked. My boyfriend informed them on my behalf that I currently am back in the Psych ward. 

I went to my boyfriends place around 10:30 pm because I was exhausted but in the end, I felt super comfortable the entire evening and had a lot of fun!

Around one pm the next day, my boyfriend and I drove to my mother, to visit her and her boyfriend. We exchanged presents as well, ate some good cake, for which I still need the recepy for. It was a nut and apple cake. Usually, I am not a big fan of nuts, but that was surprisingly well-balanced. 

My mother hugged me for a while after arriving. She usually is a very emotional unavailable person. I think me being back in the clinic is harder for her than she lets me see. I appreciate it though. I love hugs. And knowing that my mother truly cares about me, made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

So. Today is the 26.12. The last day of christmas. I once again was invited to my boyfriends brothers place. However this time, we had breakfast together with his mom, step-father, brother and grandma. 

And let me tell you. German breakfast is the shit. Crossaints and Brötchen fresh out of the oven, a variety on cheese, meats and jam. We shared laughter, had interesting conversations and jazzy christmas music was playing softly in the background. 

I even had a “deeptalk” with his mother. It helped me a lot. 

This year I experienced a chill christmas for the first time. And I am so so so thankful to my boyfriends family. Especially for my boyfriend this year. Listen, I don’t believe in a god or anything like that. But it seemed like the universe took a liking in me and gifted me with this amazing soul. 

He is truly one of a kind and I’ve never felt so safe with a person before. I am so thankful for that. For him. 

So I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read this, but I truly love you. <3

Now I am back at the clinic, done writing this entry. 

I hope that every single one of you had nice christmas days,

lots of love, 

Josie

#mental health #christmas #anxitey #bpd #mental health journey

[thepropertylovers]

The First Few Days of Summer

The last few days have been just a taste of what we can expect from summer.

Summertime is different as an adult/parent. When you’re young, it’s a break from the every day stress of school, a respite from homework and studying and having a set schedule. I lived for summertime. The swimming, the staying up late, the sleeping in however late I wanted. It was pure bliss.

Now though, it’s much different. I view it as a break from routine, a routine we damn near perfected during the school year. I have found, the older I get, how much I love and crave a set routine and schedule. I wake up before everyone else, drink my coffee, wake the kids up, take them to school, do our morning business meeting, go to the gym, eat lunch, go to the farm, pick the kids up from school, make dinner, tuck the kids in, watch TV with PJ, go to bed. That’s our routine in a nutshell. And guess what? I absolutely adore it. I wouldn’t change it for the world, actually.

So that brings us to summer, where everything is up in the air and our day to day doesn’t look the same. It’s the first summer with all three kids home after a year of all three of them being in school. Last week, I had a mixture of excited and maybe slightly nervous emotions about it all? I was excited to get to spend more time with the kids, but nervous about being off a routine and having all three kids at home again, just when we had nailed down a work schedule that worked for the both of us.

But now, I am looking at it all differently. I am looking at it as an adventure, one where every day is a new page in a different story and the possibilities are endless. We get to write our own magical story every single day for the next two months. How wonderful is that?

So far, we’ve spent a lot of time outside. We took everyone to our first official pool day of the season the other day. Our kids are fish. They will spend all day in the pool if you let them, which I love, because that’s exactly how we were when we were little.

We’ve been addicted to this summer salad from Strolling in the Suburbs. I made it two nights in a row. It’ so easy and so good, I know you’re going to love it. 

PJ has been working outside around the house a lot lately, getting our backyard looking like someone actually lives here and cleaning up the flower beds. And of course, teaching the kids how to plant tomatoes and giving them haircuts on the back porch.

And lastly, there has been a lot of throwing the ball in the house between PJ and the kids, which, even two years ago would have been a huge no no for us. Can you tell we’ve evolved as parents and changed as human beings? We’ve learned that life is too short to be worried about everything, and nothing is too precious or more important than your children having fun.

[tloaftyob]

8-24-2022

Well, it has been a nice summer. Since my last post I finished up my junior year at university. I took my finals. In one class I spent the whole 2.5 hours on the final and did not do well. I was less than 1 percent away from an A, and remembered that on a particularly difficult homework I gave up and just didn’t turn it in. I asked the professor if she would accept it late and she said yes! I turned it in an it barely got me to an A. So I got all A’s! I also went to the bars a few times with my friends. It was great. We went to Euro Gyro and also a place called “the bunker“, then some of us split off to head back and the others went to a few other bars. It was great and it is a memory I will cherish forever.

Once I had to, I moved out of the dorms. Because of some difficulties, Ellie and I did not procure an apartment lease. So, our good friend Roy let us stay at his place for most of the summer. I can’t fully express my gratitude toward him. It was nice getting to live with Ellie for some months. Roy is really good at making Amaretto Sours, and it is probably my favorite drink. The first week living there we visited his hometown and did some sight seeing there. And then I began my internship and so did Ellie. Roy did not have an internship, nor a regular job. He stayed home and played league and hearts of iron all summer. The dishes piled up sometimes, and that was bothersome, but otherwise he was great. Back to internships. My internship was 50 minutes away from the apartment, so I had to drive 1 hour and 40 minutes each day. That sucked. I would wake up at 6:45 and get to work at 8. After the first few weeks I switched from 5 8 hour days to 4 10 hour days to save the drive. I think I prefer that. It’s nice having a 3 day weekend. I listened to tons of podcasts and music this summer. Podcasts while driving, music while working. Mostly ambient.

Also, a few weeks into the summer Roy had some people over for a party. Well, Ellie got drunk (she admits that she is flirty when drunk, not a big fan of that) and gave someone the wrong idea and that someone grabbed her ass. She didn’t even notice, but I happened to be right there. When I saw it happen I thought to my self “am I seeing things right? Like, did that just happen?“ and I wish I would have been more confident in what I saw so I could have confronted him. I told Roy about it and doubted the guy would do that, but I asked him to ask anyways. It turns out that I was not seeing wrong and that was what happened. I told Roy that I didn’t want to see that guy again. Ever. I feel bad for Roy though because that guy is like his best friend. Fuck that guy. Fuck him for disrespecting Ellie and myself. Jeez what emotional stress that caused Ellie and I. I was so hurt. That will probably affect me for a long while. I was asking her to come up to bed for an hour before that, and she insisted in staying downstairs. I know one shouldn’t blame victims, but it’s just upsetting. I am so hurt.

Anyways, I did my internship for 12 weeks, Ellie did hers for 8 or so, maybe 9. Every weekend Ellie and I would go to Aldi and get food to make a large batch entree for us to take to lunch. Mostly casseroles. She would pack my lunch most times, that was sweet of her. Her and I make such a good team. We got water bottle flavors and white cheddar cheese crackers. Oh, something else to mention is that Colby kind of got me the internship, so that was nice. He works there too. It was my first computer science related job and I loved it. I got to sit at a desk and code all day. My boss, Jaicub, was kind of needlessly mean sometimes though. According to my coworkers he used to be worse. Like, he would put “:)“s in his emails and I couldn’t tell if they were genuine or passive aggressive. It was definitely a good experience. I worked with Java for the first time. Learned a lot about Bash, Git, Perl, sed, tmux, and other things while making utilities for myself. I was paid $16/hour, which is less than I would have liked. Near the end of the internship my boss and his boss talked with me in the big boss’s office and we discussed next summer and what my plans were. They said that they already had it approved for me to get $30/hour next summer, which is exactly what I was planning on asking for, so that made my day to hear.

With about 3 weeks left in the summer we moved out of Roy’s apartment because the lease was up. Luckily, the lease expired at an opportune time for Ellie to move in to her apartment at the university that I mentioned in my last post. She got the job, she likes it so far. It is a private university and very old. We got to experience the first few weeks there together which was nice. I am so sad that she will not be with me at my current university this year and next. I have cried so much over this, but it is for the best in the long run. We will still see each other almost every day because she still takes classes here, but it will not be the same. She won’t just be 2 minutes away and always there for going to the dining halls or events. I feel very lonely. I like being alone a lot, but having friends around for when I want them. Right now, I don’t know anyone on campus. 2 of my close friends graduated, and the other 2 live off campus now. Chris lives with his girlfriend like 10 minutes from campus, and Colby lives with his girlfriend like 20 minutes from campus. I am alone this year and next. I live in a room that is less than 100 sqft. That is alright though because it is just me, and all I do is sit at a computer. I don’t like communal bathrooms though. I just sneezed. The apartment that Ellie is at is really nice. Her brother is also living there with her because he is 26 and was still living at their parents house. He is most likely on the autism spectrum, so moving out is a bit scary for him and this is probably a good step for him. When Ellie had the idea I did not think much about it and its implications, but as time went on I got a bit sad that I wasn’t her person. As a graduate assistant she gets to have one person officially live with her and that person gets a special parking spot (like her) and a meal plan (also like her). It makes me sad that I am not that person. I didn’t realize it would bother me until it did. But luckily that university gave me a 6 month visitor pass that allows me to park in a lot of places, including the special spots. That made me feel a bit better. I will be living there during the summer and winter breaks, but that is secret.

This post is getting to be really big and it is kind of late. it is 10:40 PM on a Wednesday. Tomorrow is the first day of classes this semester. I am going into my senior year, sadder than any other year. My first class is at 9:15 AM so I shouldn’t be up for much longer. I might have missed some details, but that is the most of it. Roy’s apartment, internships, Ellie’s GA apartment, school. I am going to go to bed now. Goodnight Tumblr.

[rosymiel]

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 render #a lot of my time lately has been spent doing homework or in bed so it feels nice to be able to create something

[ptergwen]

could you do a peter parker (mcu) x reader where reader is touch starved but doesnt tell peter bc she doesnt want him to think she's annoying or clingy but then he finds out and tells her he doesnt care lots of fluff at the end (if you dont wanna write this thats completely ok! i love your work so much <3)

warnings: angst and one swear

a/n: thank you so much lovely!! sorry for the wait omg but comfort fics are my absolute favorite so i adored this idea <3 happy reading

-

you’re huddled under your blankets while mindlessly scrolling on your phone. you’ve been in bed for the better part of the day, your only company your stuffed animals. you feel rather lonely as of late. the lack of human interaction you’ve had certainly isn’t helping.

you grab a stuffed animal, hugging it to your chest with a huff. you throw the blankets over your head so they engulf you completely. to further distract from your sorrows, you tap on tiktok and continue to scroll away.

you’d tried texting peter, but all your messages have gone unanswered. he must be busy, as per usual. you’re used to it. you understand. he’s got a lot on his plate, being a straight-A’s student by day and superhero by night.

nevertheless, peter is an incredible boyfriend. every ounce of his free time is spent with you, and he always finds a way to make up for what isn’t. peter loves you dearly, you know that. he just hasn’t been around as much as you wish he was recently.

you long to hold him close, kiss his soft lips, listen to his stories about spider-manning and the sweet nothings he whispers in your ears. you’d never want to bother him with that, though. he has enough going on already.

you’re watching someone apply one hundred layers of plumping lip gloss when you hear your bedroom door creak open. you shut off your phone and pull down the covers to investigate. light from the hallway creeps in, burning your eyes.

“y/n? you there?”

although your vision is blurred, you recognize the voice as peter’s. you squint to see him in the darkness.

“uh, yeah. come in,” you murmur. you sound hoarse, those being the first words you’ve spoken today.

peter quietly closes the door behind him. he takes a seat at the edge of your bed, you sitting up and bringing your knees to your chest.

“your mom let me in,” peter explains, glancing over at you. “i got your texts. i was catching up on some homework, and…” he shoots you a smile. “i figured i’d check in on you instead.”

he sets a hand on your shoulder, fingers running up and down. warmth washes over your body.

“how’re you doing, sweetness? is everything okay?” peter wonders. “i’m fine,” you reply on autopilot, “why wouldn’t i be?” your brows knit together, peter still smiling reassuringly. “seems like something’s bugging you. i don’t wanna push, but i think we should talk about it,” he encourages.

“what are you on about, peter? i just told you, i’m fine,” you force a laugh. “no, i know. i know,” peter coos, nodding quickly. “whenever you’re ready, i’m here to listen.” he rubs your shoulder. you shake your head, face hot from your growing anger. “you don’t believe me,” you state.

peter waits a beat before he responds.

“i never said that. i’m only offering you the space to-“

“i’m fucking fine, okay?” you cut him off, although the tears that fill your eyes contradict you.

peter removes his hand from your shoulder, a frown forming on his lips. he begins to scoot away from you. losing his touch is enough to push you over the edge.

“wait, don’t!” you cry out, capturing peter’s arm in both your hands. “come back, peter. please. i- i-“

the tears now streaming down your face, you tug peter towards you. you’re gripping onto him in a desperate attempt to keep him from moving. concern flashes across peter’s features.

“y/n, what’s wrong?” he asks, almost in a whisper. “i- i miss you. i don’t mean to be clingy or whatever, but i just-“ you struggle to catch your breath, your tears and snot mixing together. “i just want you to hold me, peter. no, i need you to hold me. please?” you sob.

“oh,” peter breathes, finally understanding. “oh! oh my god, of course! c‘mere, angel.”

you instantly crawl into peter’s lap. peter tightens his arms around your middle, your own arms curling around his shoulders. you dig your nails into him to hold him in place. he kisses the tears off both your cheeks, then your chin, then leaves one last kiss on your forehead. it lingers even after his lips detach from your skin.

“i love you so much, y/n. what do you need, angel?“ peter’s eyes search for yours. “this,” you give him a teary smile. “just this. just you. i love you, too,” you sigh, easing your grasp at his shoulders.

you press the side of your face against his chest so you can listen to his steady heartbeat. he kisses the top of your head.

“you could’ve told me you were feeling this way, hm?” peter reminds you, bringing a hand up so he’s supporting you by the small of your back. “i dunno. i was worried you’d think i’m annoying, or needy, or something like that,” you counter.

“hey, hey,” peter speaks lowly. “all you want is a little extra love. i’m more than happy to give it to you,” he grins. you let out the biggest breath of relief. “thank you, peter. thank you. in that case, don’t let me go,” you hide your face further in his cozy, sweater clad chest.

he squeezes your waist in response.

“never.”

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine

[watchmegetobsessed]

Can you write about Maddie, Ellie and max asking questions about the baby please! (How it’s made and how the baby will come out maybe?) something funny and lighthearted

MASTER OF FRUITS

PAIRING: husband!dad!Harry X Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

MORE FROM THE ANOTHER ONE UNIVERSE

It’s been such a long week, you couldn’t wait for Friday to come. Harry had to spend a lot more time in the studio, you messed up a report at work that you spent days on putting together so you had to start over again. Maddie caught a cold over the weekend and though she didn’t get sick enough to miss pre-school, she still acted a lot more crankier all week. Ellie’s new thing is forgetting about homework and only mentioning it in the morning when you have so little time to do anything else other than what’s necessary to get the kids ready for the day. She did it twice this week, making you late to work because you stayed back with her to try to do it as fast as possible while Harry dropped the twins off and went his own way. The cherry on top is that your second trimester has finally arrived, along with the awful headaches and leg cramps that’s been torturing you lately. Your days wore you down so much by the evening that you basically fell face first into bed right after the kids were put to sleep. You could barely stay awake for just a little bit to at least cuddle with Harry, have some alone time while he massaged your feet or shoulders.

You were able to come off work a bit earlier, since everyone was just as keen on leaving as you were. Now you’re heading over to the studio to convince Harry to take the rest of the day off, pick the kids up together and have a bake-off. It’s been months since the last time you blew the kitchen up to make a cake and the kids always enjoy it so much, it would be a nice way to finally spend some stress free time together.

Though it’s been a while since the last time you were at the studio, the people working there recognize you with no problem, letting you head to Harry’s usual booth to surprise him. As you’re approaching the right door, it flings open as if they just knew you’d be coming, Mitch and Harry walking out, deep in discussion. Mitch sees you first, poking an elbow into his friend’s ribs to grab his attention and though at first your husband gives his guitarist a hurt look but then he sees you.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” he asks, clearly pleasantly surprised to see you there but before you could answer, his face falls. “Wait, everything okay? Do you feel sick?”

“Harry, I’m fine,” you chuckle, pecking his lips as you finally meet halfway. “Hi Mitch,” you smile at the man with the beard.

“Hi Y/N. You look wonderful,” he smiles at you warmly before mumbling something about giving Sarah a call.

“I’m here because… I want to kidnap my husband,” you cheekily tell him, biting into your bottom lip as you flutter your eyelashes at him, his arms curling around you.

“Oh, that sounds spicy,” he grins, stealing a quick kiss.

“I got off work earlier and I thought that we could pick the kids up and have a bake-off.”

“Mm,” he hums, checking the time on his phone, the gears turning in his head. “We have a few things to finish, but I think I can head out in about thirty, how does that sound?”

“Perfect,” you smile at him.

You stick around while they finish, just like in the old times, before you were even married. Coming to the studio with Harry was something so intimate, listening to the process of making his music felt like you were in his head and you get nostalgic again as you sit in the blush armchair, listening to his singing.

“Nice song,” you smirk at him when you’re finally heading out.

“Yeah?” he peeks at you with a boyish glint in his eyes.

“What is it about?” you wonder, though you heard the lyrics crystal clear, there’s no doubt he is working on yet another song that definitely touches on your sex life.

“No idea, just… fruits and stuff,” he chuckles, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

You run a quick errand to the grocery store to get everything for the bake-off before heading to pick the twins up first, then Ellie. You don’t miss how happy they all look seeing the both of you, it’s a rare occasion for sure.

Arriving home, it doesn’t take long for your little family to take over the kitchen and start on the cheesecake, everyone having their own assigned task in the process. Ellie is breaking up the Graham crackers with the help of Harry, Maddie is sorting the red M&M’s out of the bag, because she decided that only those can be used as decoration and Max is helping you out with the cheesy spread. Music is playing in the background, Harry’s humming adding to the song from time to time along with the chatter around the kitchen island.

“Mummy?” Max glances up at you with a focused look on his face just after you added the eggs into the mix.

“Yes, my love?”

“Can I ask a question about the baby?”

“Of course,” you smile at him, throwing the eggshells into the trash. You expect another question about the gender or if he can help you find a name for the baby, Max has been adorably curious about his new sibling, definitely excited about the new addition to the family. You wonder what he wants to know this time.

“Did you have sex with daddy to make the baby?”

You almost choke on your own saliva, dropping the spoon from your hands and judging from the noises, Harry has the same kind of reaction to his son’s question.

“Um, I uhh—where is it coming from, Maxie?” you ask with a nervous chuckle, feeling yourself sweating even though none of your children got too surprised by the question, the only ones in panic is you and Harry. You share a shocked look with him over Max’s head and he has just as much idea about what’s happening as you do. Absolutely zero.

“My friend Hudson told me that’s how babies are made.”

“And what does Hudson know about baby making?” you scoff, finding it funny that a five year-old is educating your four year-old about sex.

“His brother told him. He is in the fifth grade already, so he must know it,” Max shrugs, grabbing the spoon you dropped to start stirring the mixture.

“Well, he was… he was kinda right,” you admit, not wanting to lie. Unfortunately, it doesn’t pay off.

“What is sex?” Maddie looks up from the M&M’s and you can’t help but whine a little.

“I think this is a question daddy should answer,” you reply quickly, earning a wide-eyed look from your husband. Maddie turns to him expectantly, he won’t be able to dodge this bullet for sure and now you almost want to hear what he comes up with.

“That is… something adults who love each other do, baby.”

“But how?”

“Jesus,” you hear him mumble under his nose. “I’m not sure it’s something we should discuss while baking,” he tries to save himself, but after all, Maddie is his daughter, she definitely inherited his stubbornness and will to know about everything with no exception.

“Why? Is it disgusting?”

“It’s definitely not disgusting,” Harry snorts and you gasp at him.

“I know what sex is!” Ellie chimes in and your jaw drops.

“Y-you do?” Harry asks turning to his other daughter.

“Yes. It’s when a man and a woman hug really tight and they kiss and that’s how the baby is made.”

That is literally the cutest way to describe sex and she looks so proud of herself for sharing her knowledge.

“So you hugged? That’s how babies are made?” Max asks with a skeptical look on his face.

“It’s a special kind of hug only adults can have,” you explain, not wanting him to have the wrong idea about hugging someone. The last thing you need is to get a call from his pre-school that he said he just put a baby in someone after he hugged them.

“And I really love hugging your mum,” Harry smugly adds and you’re ready to kill him right then and there.

“How are the crackers?” you clear your throat, and finally the topic of baby making is forgotten and you’re back to the planned schedule of the bake-off.

Thank God Max doesn’t bring up any more questions about sex for the rest of the day. The cake turns out amazing and you feast on it after dinner. You watch Inside Out together then and your usual bedtime routine follows after. You close Ellie’s door right when Harry steps out of the twins’ room, his arm wrapping around your shoulders instantly as you head to your bedroom.

“How tired are you? Want to do some hugging?” he murmurs kissing into your ear, his breath tickling you.

“You’re unbelievable!” you smack his chest, but lean against him gladly. “You know, for someone who constantly sings about sex, you got quite panicked at Maxie’s question,” you snort and walking into the bedroom you sit to the edge of the bed, a hand running over your growing bump.

“I sing about sex?” he pretends to be confused. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Oh right, master of fruits,” you chuckle shaking your head.

Harry smirks at you before walking up to you, kneeling down as his hands glide over your stomach. You lean back onto your hands, giving him enough space. He’s been talking to your bump all the time since you’ve started showing, always having little discussions with the baby.

“Talking about fruits… what was this week’s fruit?” he hums, referring to the app you downloaded to keep track of your pregnancy that always shows you how big the baby is comparing it to a fruit.

“The fifteenth week is the size of a peach, but it’s your kid, so they might have your big head, so maybe we skipped a few fruits and we’re already at papaya,” you tease him, carding through his hair with your fingers. Luckily, the swelling hasn’t started yet so your fingers don’t look like sausages yet.

“Your mummy is in a silly goofy mood today,” he mumbles against your stomach before kissing it gently. Slowly, his lips make their way up along your chest and neck until they meet your mouth, kissing you tenderly as he pushes himself between your legs. His hands are already wandering under your shirt and you hum against his lips pleased as you melt against him, arms wrapping around his neck.

“So how about we do some of that special hugging, huh?” he suggests grinning into the kiss, already pulling your shirt up.

“Need some inspiration to finish your song?” you tease him, kissing his jawline as your hands slide down to his pecks.

“Mm, can only get that from my muse.”

“Alright, show me what you got, Styles,” you giggle, sliding further up the bed, Harry following you with a wolfish look, lust all over his handsome face.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #dadrry #dad!harry #the another one universe

[stylesyourmine]

no more cuts and bruises ll peter parker x reader (andrew garfield)

a/n: hi lovelies! its nina, and i'm back again tonight because i'm actually in love with andrew's peter parker and andrew himself obv. the garf has me on a choke hold, what can i say? anyways i know you didn't come here for my rambling, onto our fic :)

pairings: peter parker x reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: cuts and scrapes: nothing more

it was a wednesday night. you'd gotten home from school a few hours ago, and you'd spent your time doing homework and then taking a shower. you just got out, the bathroom circulating with steam.

you lifted your arm and wiped across the mirror to try and look at yourself. black splotches found themselves underneath your eyes. eye bags. you hadn't been sleeping lately. why? a sensible person might ask. it was because you were worried about your boyfriend just about 24 hours a day, non stop. it was just something that couldn't let you sleep. you'd even started to leave your windows out at night, in case peter ever needed you.

you sighed and grabbed the door nob, opening it and walking into your mid sized bedroom. your safe space. you loved your room for a lot of reasons. 1 because it was all yours, and was under your control. 2nd because it made you feel so warm and protected, even if there was nothing actually doing either of those things- except maybe a blanket.

you grabbed the pajamas off of your bed and changed, letting your hair out of the head wrap you'd put in earlier. suddenly you heard a strange noise. you looked, and to no surprise, there was nothing, it was probably just you. until you heard it again.

'what the hell-" you stated walking over to the window just as a figure came in as fast as lightning. the blue and red suited boy still had his mask on, and you knew exactly who it was. peter. holding your hand on your chest you walked over to him, as he slipped his mask off revealing a huge amount of fresh, new cuts on his face.

your eyes widened at the sight of it. walking towards him you mumbled,

"peter oh my god.."

"baby dont freak out okay? i'm fine." he lifted his hands up in his defense, as if he already knew that was going to come out of your mouth next.

"a hi would've been nice too" you retaliated. you couldn't stand to look at his face like this. hurt. it hurt your core to see him like that. your face flattened to one of anger, and woriedness, of fear. your eyebrows furrowed together. you were in protective mode.

standing inches away from his face, your hand landed on his shoulder, shoes creasing as you tiptoed trying to get a better look at all of these new wounds.

"jesus pete what the hell did you do? fight a gorilla?" you just crossed your arms in front of him, really trying not to be mad, which in ways you weren't but still- he'd put himself in so much danger everyday, you just wished he'd think about himself for once.

he chuckled and looked down, and then into your eyes,

"no. just some physco who was running around nyc with two knives in his hands. someone had to stop em." his arm outstretched to unwrap your arms, not liking seeing you all tense and worried. his arm then went up to your face and ran his thumb over your eyebrows, which were furrowed together in confusion. you let go of the tension, and he lifted your chin up to look at him.

"you told me you'd be more careful. more self conscious. you said you were gonna take care of yourself." you couldn't be angry at him for trying to make it safer for people, and for fighting crimes others couldn't. what you could be mad at though, is that he did whatever it took to do so. its like during his missions, he didn't care about anyone else other then the victim. himself being the last person he ever did worry about, and not even then because you were always the one pointing it out.

"i am doing that, i promise these things dont even hurt." he shrugged his shoulders, indicating they didn't. he always had to play tough guy when it came to these situations where you were concerned over him. he hated making you feel that way, he said you had better things to do with your time, but you argued that was what a relationship was, caring for each other.

"oh yeah?" you asked him sarcastically.

"yeah! pshhh, these little-" peter was interrupted by your fingers flicking the top of his head, where one of them resided.

"ow! yup that uh- that actually does really hurt." you rolled your eyes in disbelief. how could not possibly see how much he was worth? you guys eyes glued together, not letting go for anything. they were showing so may emotions at once. you were angry, but also proud, but also nervous because if this is from some civilian in town, what does that man now influence everyone else?

he’d wanted to make you happy again. somehow get your mind off his face. his hands slid down to your waist, pulling your already-close-body much closer. his lips crashed into yours, you pulling away when you felt his face cringe. you opened your eyes to see him touch his lip, realizing he has a cut.

"ah hah! i told you!"

you went to touch his cheek and he hissed quietly, not trying to have you hear it- but you did. why couldn’t he listen to you? you were always right about these things.

you once again examined his face and nodded your head.

your staring contest has finished now, and he went over to your dresser, and reached onto his drawer, pulling out some shorts he'd left for himself and leaving himself without a shirt. you couldn't lie, his abs and his cut up face did look really good. but that wasn't the principle. you knew if you told him that he'd only want them more and not try and heal them.

you perched yourself on the bed, waiting for him to come back.

when he did he smiled and grabbed your hand.

“c’mere, i wanna show you something.”

he threw one leg over the window and onto the fire escape, then the other and then helped you. you sat there with intertwining fingers just looking and listening to the big city.

"i try not and get hurt for you my love, i really do try."

"it doesn't always go well, but this is the responsibility i've been given. i have to fulfill that responsibility. and somehow, some angel made sure you're always there with me."

'what? whatcha mean by that babe?"

your hands started to swing to the loud noises of nyc, like the cars beeping, voices projecting and people being overall crazy.

"i mean, i always think of you when i'm out there. you're always the one thing that's lingering in my mind."

you chuckled, you were somewhat glad.

it was a good and bad thing. the bad thing being blatantly distracted and the good thing was he knew how'd you feel about certain information, so he decided against it.

you leaned your head onto his shoulder. it was blissfull, until you looked back up at his face. you tugged onto his hand, "c'mon. lets getcha all cleaned up."

he smiled at you, while standing up.

a/n: that was terible im so sorry im so tired rn i will be editing this tmr when im fully awake. i wanted this to be smt different, but its fine! anyways please please leave feedback down below it would mean the world to me!

#peter x reader #peterparker #andrew x y/n #andrew garfield #spiderman nwh #no way home #spidey #spiderman #peter parker #spider man no way home #marvel spiderman #reader x andrew garfield #nowayhome #spideyverse #sosorrythis sucked #stylesyourmine #stylesyourminefics #tobey maguire #tom holland #spiderman xreader