#and have for maybe years been compensating for things i do unconsciously or have not shown myself capable of

[italiantnea]

#3-3_otogiri_tobi/ eat! ¹

¹ this uses the command form, so read that as forcefully urging someone to eat

prev: 3-2 // next: 3-4

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They weren't allowed to see the patient, so they couldn't stay long. When they left the hospital they bid farewell to Asamiya. Tobi and Shiratama walked down the twilight road back.

“O-Ryuu.”

Baku was the one to break the silence.

“That was… Long story short, what was that?”

“How should I explain it—”

Shiratama frowned and bit her bottom lip. She was thinking. They just so happened to be passing by the children’s park. There was no one there. There were benches.

“Wanna sit down?” Tobi asked.

Shiratama nodded.

The two of them sat down on the bench of the children’s park.

“It happened quite a long time ago.”

Shiratama brought Chinu out from the pochette and held her gently with both hands.

“At the time, I was in fourth grade, so it was four years ago. My grandfather got severely ill, and was hospitalized. So my grandmother brought me along to pay him a visit—”

Shiratama’s grandfather had a fondness for kendo and jiu jitsu, so he was quite a strict person. Before he was hospitalized, Shiratama hadn't known a thing about his illness. Shiratama had never seen her grandfather lying down. Seeing him sleeping in the bed of the hospital room was somehow so scary she couldn't bear it. Shiratama couldn't step foot into her grandfather’s hospital room. In the end, only her grandmother had entered the room, and Shiratama had waited outside.

At that time, Shiratama already had the pochette that hid Chinu. Of course, she understood that other people couldn't see Chinu. Shiratama had taken Chinu out of the pochette and let her ride on her shoulder. She couldn't feel at ease staying put, so she walked slowly down the hallway.

There were rooms on either side of the hallway. There were also rooms that had their doors wide open so you could see inside. The patients on that floor were mostly ones with serious illnesses. There were people barely hanging on to life with the help of medical equipment too.

What if her grandfather became one of them? But the surgery had gone well. Her grandmother had said that he would only get better. Her grandfather wouldn't become like these people, would he? The thought reassured her a bit. On the other hand, Shiratama felt a pang of self-reproach. To use these poor, seriously ill people for her reassurance; it was a terrible thing to do. Maybe she was a bad person.

Shiratama stopped in front of one room. It was a four person room. A woman and a small girl had come to visit. The woman was only around thirty years old.

The woman addressed the patient as “Papa”. It seemed like the patient was her husband. If only Papa would wake up soon. We want to play with him more, don't we? Hey, Papa. But no matter how much the woman and little girl called, there was no answer. Her husband seemed to be unconscious.

Unable to bear it, Shiratama had prayed for that stranger to recover and wake up.

“—thinking back on it now, it might have been something like compensation for comforting myself with people suffering under illness… Some kind of atonement. I may have just wanted to put myself at ease. But—”

At that moment, Chinu had let out a voice. Hana. Kayoko. That voice repeated those two names. It was clearly not Chinu’s voice. It was a human, a man’s voice.

The man’s voice spoke of the time his daughter was born. He’d given Hana a bath. In the beginning he’d been shaking all over. He’d taken Hana to the zoo. Rather than elephants and giraffes, Hana had spent all the time looking at the sheep. Ahh, he couldn't forget the college-aged Kayoko’s smile when they’d met for the first time. He’d liked people before, but Kayoko was the first time he felt like he loved someone. It’s unbelievable isn't it? To think I’d get this sick. I might die, you know? Of course, everyone dies someday, but I’d thought it was a distant future. After Hana became an adult, I’d grow old with Kayoko. It was over in a blink of an eye, huh? I’d imagined a future where we laughed like that. Before that happens, am I going to die?

Kayoko. Hana. I can't bear not seeing you. I want to see Hana grow up. I want to celebrate Hana’s birthday every year with Kayoko. I don't need anything else. As long as I can live on by their side. It’s too early, isn't it? Can’t I do that? Am I going to die? I don't want to. I can’t die. I can't do that. I don't want to die……

 “—I heard his voice. It agonized, thinking about his wife and daughter, about how he didn't want to die. Even though I shouldn't have been able to hear it. After all, that person was unconscious. He was asleep. In a coma. The voice that definitely shouldn't have been audible, somehow came through Chinu…”

“Hmmm…” Baku hummed, then thought for a moment and spoke.

“So that Chinu has some kind of special ability? Even though she’s so small. They say you can't judge people by their appearance but she isn't a person, huh? Hey wait? Does that mean that I have one too? An incredible special ability or something…?”

“Baku’s uselessly good at running his mouth, isn't he,” Tobi said half-exasperatedly.

“Oh that!” Baku laughed, satisfied.

“Ahahaha— wait, no! That’s not the kinda special ability I'm talking about. There’s gotta be more. Like firing off rockets or being as strong as a demon, something cool.”

“Not really, isn't a talking backpack cool enough?”

“As if that were enough. I’m telling you, I must’ve just not gotten serious yet. When I peel off this skin², I’ll show you something amazing!”

“That’s kinda gross, I don't want you to peel off your skin…”

“It's just a metaphor! At least understand that much!”

² ‘Peel off a layer of skin’- overcome harsh training or hardship and become stronger.

Tobi looked beside him at Shiratama, who was looking down. After finishing the story of her grandfather’s hospitalization, she stayed silent.

If Chinu didn't have such an ability, Shiratama wouldn't have heard that unfamiliar patient’s voice. He’d been about to pass on, leaving his wife and daughter behind. He’d been barely hanging on, but realized himself there was little hope. He’d despaired and cried out in grief.

Tobi wouldn't want to hear that. Hear it and then what? He was a total stranger with no relation at all. There was nothing he could do for him anyway. It couldn't be helped.

“...Did Shiratama-san suggest we pay a visit so we could hear Takatomo-san’s voice?”

To Shiratama, Takatomo Miyuki was not a total stranger with no relation. She was a classmate. Seemed like she’d been in the same class in first year too. She’d talk with her even when she didn't need anything from her, and Shiratama was a feast to her eyes. Takatomo’s voice had said so. It was a closeness incomparable to that with an unknown patient.

“I thought, if we could hear it,” Shiratama replied hesitantly.

“If we were able to hear it, then we had to listen. Because that might be something only Chinu… only I can do—”

The next day, Asamiya was late. For some reason Tobi had been apprehensive that he wasn't coming to school, so he was a little relieved.

It wasn't just Asamiya, there were other things on Tobi’s mind.

It seemed like Kon Chiami really was friends with Murahama Nagisa and Shimomaeda Yoriko. Outside of class time, the three of them often did things together. Before, it hadn't been three of them, but four, including Takatomo.

On top of the loss, or perhaps theft, of her possessions, Takatomo had repeatedly heard strange voices.

Losing things that didn't seem likely to be stolen, hearing voices that shouldn't have been heard. Weren't those delusions or hallucinations, or something of the sort? Maybe Takatomo hadn't been in a normal state of mind.

However, Chinu had a special ability. The mysterious power to transmit the voices that shouldn't have been audible, to speak in place of those who couldn't.

And Kon Chiami, whom Takatomo suspected of being the culprit, had a bat-like, flying squirrel-like weird thing with her.

For once, Tobi took his time eating lunch. His seat was by the window, third from the front. In the first seat of the neighboring row sat Kon Chiami. Even now, the aforementioned weird thing that was neither a bat nor a flying squirrel, clung to her back tightly, unmoving.

“I know, Tobi. What you’re thinking right now,” Baku said without lowering his voice.

“Does that thing stay like that, never leaving Kon-chan’s side? Or does it have the ability to go off and do things on its own? If, for instance, that thing was an ill-mannered thief, then—”

Though talking wasn't forbidden during lunch time, it was so quiet you could hear school announcements clearly. Tobi and Shiratama were probably the only ones who lended an ear to Baku’s solo recital.

“Stealing the key to the roof from the staff room, that kinda thing shouldn't be possible. It wouldn't’ve been hard for that thing to sneak it into Takatomo’s desk drawer, though.”

“Sensei.”

Suddenly, Asamiya raised his hand.

Their homeroom teacher Harimoto, who was eating lunch at the teacher’s desk, stopped and said “Hm?”, half-rising from his chair.

“What’s wrong, Asamiya? Hey, you haven't eaten at all. Are you feeling unwell? You okay?”

“I’m not okay.”

Asamiya put both hands on his desk and stood up. His long bangs hid his expression, but he seemed to be terribly angry.

“There’s no way I could be okay. Why’re you just eating like usual? Are you fine with not investigating? After Miyu’s—Takatomo’s been hospitalized after what happened.”

“Well, investigate, you say…”

Harimoto hummed and hawed, touching his face with his hand excessively.

“Hey, hey!”

Masamune stumbled towards Asamiya and tried to sling an arm around his shoulders.

“Chill out, okay? Asamiya—”

“Don't touch me!”

Asamiya brushed away Masamune’s hand roughly. With an “Uwah?!”, Masamune flew back exaggeratedly and spun in circles. Many people laughed upon seeing this act. Seeming irritated, Asamiya pressed in towards Masamune.

“Wahh!”

Masamune stepped back.

“Stop it already!”

The one who cried out was Kon Chiami. Kon’s face scrunched up in an instant.

“Miyuki wouldn't be happy if you were fighting! Miyuki hates seeing people arguing. Don't do something that would make her sad at such a time, please…”

Was she crying? Tobi suddenly had doubts. Kon’s behavior was exaggerated and deliberate. Weren't those crocodile tears? Asamiya seemed to sense something was off too.

“Acting like you were friends. Kon, you weren't getting along that well with Takatomo that well lately, were you? Takatomo was avoiding you, wasn't she?”

“How terrible!” “How could you say such a thing!”

Defending Kon, Murahama Nagisa and Shimomeda Yoriko began reproaching Asamiya. All at once, the classroom descended into chaos. Even as the homeroom teacher Harimoto scolded, “Hey stop, stop it!”, there was no end to it.

As if breaking down in tears, Kon sank into her chair. Murahama and Shimomaeda, and a few other girls aside from that, rushed over to her side. There were also students that criticized Asamiya roughly. Asamiya stayed quiet without rebuttal, but his eyes glared through the gaps between his bangs.

“Don't get so heated, guys! Asamiya has a point to make. Right?”

Ever persistent, Masamune pressed closer to Asamiya. At that moment, Asamiya’s patience ran out. He pushed Masamune aside and ran out the classroom.

“Asamiya!”

Harimoto chased frantically after Asamiya. With an “Oi oiii!”, Masamune followed after him. Masamune soon returned with a troubled, or rather, funny expression, and shrugged his shoulders dramatically. Though not all of them, several students laughed.

Maybe it was because of the say no evil monkey on his head, but it looked strange to Tobi. When he looked at her, Shiratama had an appalled look on her face. He was a little relieved, because she wasn't laughing.

Harimoto and Asamiya still didn't return, and lunch time ended just like that. Tobi shouldered Baku and was just about to leave the classroom.

“Otogiri-kun.”

Shiratama’s call stopped him. As Tobi met her eyes, her gaze shifted towards something else. Tobi followed her gaze.

Kon sat in her seat, draped over her desk. Around her were Murahama and Shimomaeda, saying something to her. Was Kon still crying? Perhaps she was stricken. Or maybe she was acting like it.

It was gone.

That weird thing was not clinging to her back.

“Tobi!”

Baku went wild. As if pulled along by him, Tobi looked around the vicinity of his own seat. On that desk, a meal sat untouched. It was Asamiya’s seat. Something darted in the shadows of the desk. There was no mistake. He’d clearly seen it.

Tobi approached Asamiya’s seat. There was nothing abnormal about the desk or the chair.

“It must be inside.”

He didn't need Baku to tell him. Without looking in the drawer, he suddenly stuck his hand in. His fingers brushed against fur. Without hesitation, he closed his fist around it, and the thing went wild in his hands. Its torso was warm, hot even. Between its forelimbs and hindlimbs, there was a thin, rubbery membrane. It writhed and wriggled its limbs, struggling furiously.

He pulled it out of the desk drawer. It was Kon Chiami’s bat-like, flying squirrel-like weird thing. It had a face like a human baby, and a long tongue darted in and out of its tiny mouth.

Several classmates looked at Tobi suspiciously. Then again, no one paid attention to his right hand. Nobody noticed the weird thing that Tobi had caught. They couldn't see it.

Kon was still being comforted by Murahama and Shimomaeda. Tobi met Shiratama’s gaze. Her eyes were very wide. She seemed rather surprised. Tobi himself was shocked as well. He’d gone and caught that weird thing. What now?

“...Tobi! For now, get to a place without people—”

Urged by Baku, Tobi went out to the hallway. Shiratama followed as well, holding the pochette that hid Chinu. With no destination in mind, Tobi descended down the stairs in big steps. Around the shoe box, there was no one around. At the outdoor shoe area, Tobi faced Shiratama.

“O-otogiri-kun, that thing…”

“I don't know. It’s just a guess but… it was in Asamiya’s desk, so it seems like it was trying to steal something. What is with this guy…”

Tobi gripped the weird thing tightly in his hands. He felt like if he didn't, it would escape. To be honest, he really didn't want to keep holding it. It was gross.

“Oi, don’t let it go, Tobi!”

Baku raised his voice.

“If you let go, that thing’s definitely gonna do something bad again. Looks like Kon Chiami wasn't aware of it herself either. That thing could be the root of all evil.”

“...So you mean—”

Shiratama hugged the pochette containing Chinu close to her chest.

“Disregarding Kon-san’s own intentions, it went off and stole things, and as a result, Takatomo-san became paranoid…is that it?”

“Well, could be that she’s just unaware of it, but she really wished for it in her heart. Whichever it is, this guy’s different from me and Chinu. Tobi and O-Ryuu have a proper awareness of our existence. Whether we can talk is something else, but we’re able to come to a mutual understanding. That’s not true for Kon Chiami. Us and them, we’re only alike on the surface.”

“...If I ask Chinu to stay, she’ll do so. Baku also listens to Otogiri-kun’s wishes, doesn't he?”

“I dunno about that…”

As Tobi murmured noncommittally, Baku let out an aggrieved “Aah?!”

“I don't do as I’m told all of the time, but I listen most of the time, don't I!”

“Maybe this guy—”

Shiratama glanced at the weird thing that would not calm down at all.

“and Kon-san don't have that kind of a relationship…”

“Whether it’s Takatomo or Murahama or Shimomaeda, if this guy was the one who nabbed their stuff, then that means it’s causing harm to others. As a result of that, Takatomo even jumped.”

Shiratama repeated what Baku had just said.

“The root of all evil.”

“If that’s the case, then the same thing might happen again…”

The weird thing Tobi held had been rummaging through Asamiya’s desk drawer.

Asamiya had criticized Kon to her face. It was possible that weird thing had been trying to retaliate. Just like Baku said, when Kon felt hostility to someone, the weird thing would attack them and steal things of its own volition. Was that how it worked?

Maybe they were incompatible, or there was some misunderstanding, but Kon didn't like Takatomo.

If Kon didn't have her weird thing, that would be the end of the story. Because the weird thing had done something strange, Takatomo had been driven to the edge. Distressed, she’d jumped off the roof of the school building. Without that weird thing, Kon and Takatomo might have eventually fought and parted ways, and that would've been the end of it.

This weird thing, struggling endlessly in Tobi’s hand, had brought about a grave and serious situation.

It was beyond a doubt, the root of all evil.

“...Otogiri-kun?”

Shiratama tilted her body diagonally and peered up at Tobi’s face.

Tobi didn't respond. There was something else he had to do right now. But what exactly was he supposed to do? Even if there was a solution, could Tobi really pull it off?

“Leave it to me, Tobi.”

I see.

Even if he couldn't do it himself, Tobi had Baku.

“I will eat this guy.”

Tobi was carrying Baku with the strap on his left shoulder. He shot his head out from above his shoulder. Baku had been a backpack ever since he met him, so that was just a metaphor. Backpacks didn't have heads to stick out. But he had a mouth.

Baku’s zipper opened. Not all the way. About a third, maybe around halfway at most. That was enough. Baku opened his mouth. It was like the zips were teeth. No, they really were teeth. From Baku’s mouth, a tongue shot out. It was robust, and much larger than Tobi’s own tongue.

Tobi understood exactly what Baku was trying to do. If Baku wanted to do so, he should. No, he ought to. Tobi understood exactly how Baku felt.

This weird thing trying to escape from his hands was the root of all evil.

If it weren't for this thing, such terrible things wouldn't have happened. It was better if it didn't exist. That said, he couldn't make it so that something had never existed in the first place. Then at the very least, he had to make it disappear.

On top of that, he was somehow terribly, terribly hungry.

Tobi heard a sound. Was it footsteps? Shiratama was saying something. Something or other about Haizaki-san. But he didn't care. Tobi was starving. It wasn't like his stomach was empty. This was probably Baku’s hunger. So this was how hungry he was. He was so hungry, it was like all the cells in his body had been emptied. He couldn't bear it a second longer.

“—Wait…!”

Someone was trying to stop him. Seemed like it was the janitor Haizaki. As if he cared.

It was too late.

Tobi loosened his hands. In that instant, Baku’s tongue wrapped around the weird thing. Right before that, the weird thing let out a “Giii!” The cry, like nails on glass, cut off abruptly.

Closing the teeth of his zipper—his mouth—Baku chewed vigorously.

He swallowed with a gulp.

“Aah!”

Before he knew it, the work clothes-clad Haizaki had appeared before him. Haizaki put both hands to his own forehead.

“What have you done! Otogiri-kun, what—what did you feed that zingai?!!”

Shiratama’s eyes were wide. Baku burped. The one who’d gobbled down the weird thing was Baku, yet Tobi’s stomach felt a little bloated as well.

“‘What’, you say. Eh? Jin…gai?”

“Ahh, I see…”

Haizaki grimaced and shook his head.

“‘Zingai’ are what we call those beings, like the one you carry on your back. There’s other names for them, but in this country we mostly call them zingai. The vast majority of people don't know about them. It’s not like they really need to know. They can't see them anyway—”

“Haizaki-san can see them, right?”

Shiratama opened her pochette. Chinu poked her head out from within, and Haizaki looked daunted.

“...You got me. You really got me. I’m just a janitor employed by this school, nothing more, nothing less. That being said, I can't just pretend I didn't see anything. I can see them, but that's not important right now. Otogiri-kun, what did your zingai just eat?!”

“Man, what a noisy bastard you are.”

Baku let out a sigh. Uurp. Another burp.

“I’m free to eat whatever I like, aren't I? Even if it’s a zingai or whatever you called it.”

“Just like I thought…”

Haizaki turned pale and trembled. Contrasting that, he grabbed Tobi’s shoulders fiercely and shook him.

“Whose? Whose zingai was it! That incident—I didn't wish for that to happen, but were zingai involved?! Whose did you eat—was it a student from year 2 class 3?!”

He was terribly forceful. Haizaki seemed pretty agitated. Tobi felt overwhelmed.

“...It was.”

“This is bad! We have to hurry!”

Haizaki took off running. What was bad? He wanted an explanation. But Haizaki was gone.

“We should go too!” Shiratama called to him.

Somehow, Tobi felt reluctant.

Baku had eaten Kon’s zingai, or whatever it was called. To tell the truth, he’d intended to do good. He couldn't leave that zingai be. That’s why he’d eaten it. It was fine to eat it.

Baku had eaten a zingai. According to Haizaki, Baku was a zingai as well. A zingai had eaten another zingai.

Tobi remembered that intense hunger.

Baku had—no, it wasn't just Baku. Tobi had wanted to eat it as well. He’d wanted to eat, so he had.

Tobi didn't want to return to the classroom. But Shiratama was pulling him along. He couldn't bring himself to shake off her hand.

The two of them hurried to year 2 class 3’s classroom. There was some kind of ruckus going on. A crowd had gathered in front of the classroom. Tobi and Shiratama pushed and shoved past students from other classes, and entered the classroom.

Kon Chiami had collapsed on the floor. Haizaki squatted beside her, feeling around the vicinity of her neck. It seemed like he was checking her pulse.

“No way…”

Looking like she was about to collapse, Shiratama held onto a nearby desk. Tobi was no more dismayed than Shiratama. Or rather, he wasn't really sure whether he felt shaken or not.

What had Tobi done? The one who’d eaten Kon’s zingai was Baku. Baku had done it. It had nothing to do with him. He didn't really think so.

Baku had eaten Kon’s zingai. That had to be why she’d collapsed.

Why was Baku silent? Say something. Was he not going to say anything? Tobi wasn't, either.

Haizaki was contacting someone with his cellphone. Maybe he was calling an ambulance.

Tobi just watched. There was nothing he could do but watch.

The next day, Asamiya came to school. In the morning homeroom period, their homeroom teacher Harimoto talked about what happened to Kon.

She was fine, he said. Her life was not in danger, and there wasn't anything seriously wrong with her body. But, just to recuperate, she was taking time off school for a while.

During lunch break, Haizaki came to the classroom and called Tobi and Shiratama over. He brought them to the janitor’s room.

The janitor’s room had a small kitchen and a large work table. Haizaki brought out folding chairs, and Tobi and Shiratama sat down in them. Haizaki leaned against the work table.

“—The bond between zingai and their master isn't something that you could sever, even if you wanted to. It’s something that runs very deep. If for some reason, they lost their zingai, the master would…in many cases, they would fall into a state known as heart desolation³. Medically speaking, its cause is unclear, so it’s not an official disease name though.”

“Can it be cured…?” Shiratama asked in a small voice.

Haizaki had a grave look on his face, and hummed in a low voice.

“You can get better, is what I’d like to say, but it varies case-by-case, I guess. From severe to comparatively light, there’s a personal difference between each case, you see. ‘A drop in mental activity’ is how it’s described, but the ability to think, to feel, to move with intention— those abilities decline. It doesn't seem to worsen after the initial onset.”

“That’s good news,” Baku said sardonically. He’d been pretty quiet since yesterday. Maybe he’d become disheartened, in his own way.

“And Kon?”

Tobi asked shortly, and Haizaki cast his eyes down and sighed.

“I escorted her all the way to the hospital but… yeah. It doesn't seem to be a severe case. It doesn't look like she’ll be bedridden, and she was able to give vague answers as well. Seems like she’s in her home right now. I don't think it’s that severe of a case.”

‘So, you can be at ease.’  That, he didn't say. Even if it didn't worsen, there was no guarantee her condition would improve. It was possible Kon would remain like that for the rest of her life.

Shiratama was expressionless. Where was she looking, he wondered. Her gaze wasn't fixed on any spot in particular. It was like a doll version of Shiratama was sat on the folding chair. Without thinking, Tobi sought out signs that she was breathing. Her chest was rising and falling slightly. Obviously it was. She was still breathing.

“It isn't Otogiri-kun’s fault.”

Haizaki said that, and nodded. It was like he was trying to convince himself.

“It was just a stroke of bad luck. No…no matter if it was bad luck or not, Otogiri-kun may have prevented the next tragedy from happening. Once a zingai become aggressive to humans, it’s hard for them to go back.”

“...You mean, don't worry about it?”

“I guess so. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it. It might not be easy, but I’d like you to carry on with your life as usual. If anything happens, you can talk to me. I’m but a mere janitor, but I can give you some advice.”

“A mere janitor?”

“Yeah.”

Haizaki met Tobi’s gaze. He didn't avert his eyes. He didn't even blink.

“It seems like you guys didn't know about zingai. People like that are the majority, I think. But truthfully, if you look it up on the internet, you can get all sorts of information. Whether each piece of information is true or false, I can't say. I’m just a janitor who knows a little about zingai, after all. I don't want to give you any unreliable information.”

“...You’re being all roundabout and wishy-washy, though.”

“Honestly, I don't really understand it myself.”

Haizaki’s gaze suddenly became clouded.

“As you can see, I’ve grown old, and I’m wiser than you middle school students. I wish I could say I can conduct myself like a proper upstanding adult, but…I think I’d like to do whatever I can, within my power.”

“That way of talking sure feels adult-like.”

“I understand that’s not a compliment.”

Haizaki tried to laugh. Midway, his adult-like face distorted in an ugly way, and crumbled.

“I’m truly sorry…”

Was he hurting somewhere? That was what his expression made him suspect.

Baku was staying silent, and Shiratama still seemed out of it. What was Tobi supposed to do? It was no use just sitting here. That much was clear.

After school, Tobi got out of the classroom before anyone else. But without leaving school, he watched Shiratama change her shoes at the shoe box.

Tobi began tailing Shiratama. Baku didn't say anything. It was like he was just a normal backpack.

From the school, Shiratama walked about twelve or thirteen minutes, before stopping in front of an apartment. It was ten or eleven stories tall, and not particularly new or old. Shiratama hesitated on whether to enter or not.

Tobi approached Shiratama. It seemed like she hadn't noticed him at all.

“Shiratama-san.”

He didn't want to scare her. That was why he’d called out her name, but Shiratama cried out a small “..Yah!” and turned around quickly.

“To-to-tobi-kun?! Ah. I meant, Otogiri-kun…”

“I don't really mind either way though…”

“You don't?”

“Eh? Is that bad?”

“...I thought calling someone by their given name all of a sudden would be a little overly familiar. The name Otogiri has its charm as well, but I think Tobi is a wonderful name, so I’ve kind of been secretly calling you that in my head.”

“Ahh.. is that so. Hm…”

Even though it wasn't itchy, Tobi scratched the tip of his nose.

“...If you’re that…how’d you say it. If that’s the case…how about you just call me what you want?”

“‘Tobi’? Ah—”

Shiratama waved both hands in front of her face as if trying to erase something.

“I-I definitely don't mean to be as bold as to call you without honorifics…”

“It’s fine if you do though. Baku’s just been calling me Tobi the entire time anyway.”

“I’ve known you for a long time, after all.”

Finally, Baku cut into the conversation.

“But if O-Ryuu wants to go that far, then that can't be helped, I guess.”

“...Shiratama-san isn't going that far, is she?”

“If O-Ryuu insists on saying it no matter what, then I might even grant special permission.”

“Why is Baku the one…”

“Thank you so much!”

Shiratama’s eyes lit up and she bowed her head. What was she so happy about, he wondered. It was well outside Tobi’s area of understanding. But it seemed like Shiratama was feeling happier, so he supposed it was fine.

“For now, I’m fine with either Otogiri or Tobi, so…”

“Tobi?”

“...Like I said, that’s fine.”

“Then please, call me by Ryuuko as well!”

“...No, that’s a bit…”

“Is that so…”

Shiratama’s expression changed completely, turning dejected.

“As expected, it hasn't been that long since we started talking with each other, so we aren't at that sort of relationship yet, are we…”

“Oi!”

Baku immediately twisted around. Tobi felt bad for the disappointed Shiratama, but he just had an opposition to calling her Ryuuko.

“...Um, can I practice and do it after getting used to it?”

“Practice?”

Shiratama cocked her head. Had Tobi said something strange?

Maybe he had. Practice. What kind of practice? Secretly pulling up the image of Shiratama’s face in his mind when he was alone, and trying to call her Ryuuko, or something? Just thinking about it made him embarrassed.

“Well…after I’ve prepared myself mentally, something…like that?”

“Then at least stop calling me with ‘-san’, and please just call me Shiratama.”

Shiratama’s gaze was strangely serious. Was this so important to her?

“...That’s fine. If Shiratama-san doesn't mind.”

“I do not mind. That’s it. When one day you’re prepared to call me by Ryuuko, then I shall call you by Tobi-kun.”

“What kind of deal is that…”

“I suppose it’s a promise, rather than a deal?”

He didn't care about the promise or whatever it was, but would the day ever come where his heart was prepared for that? He couldn't imagine it, at least, not at this point in time.

“...I mean, what is Shiratama doing here in the first place?”

“Huh? And why is Tobi-kun here?”

“Tobi, that guy. He was following you, O-Ryuu.”

Baku laughed with a kekeke.

“Isn't it gross? He’s not even a stalker.”

“That’s not true—well, it is but…”

This was awkward. Tobi looked the other way.

“When school let out, I thought…Shiratama might try to go to Kon’s house alone… I just felt so.”

“Why?”

Shiratama’s eyelids opened as wide as they would go, then blinked twice,

“...You were spot on. I just couldn't help being concerned about Kon. Kon had told me once before, where she lived, and I’d remembered it, so… Of course, I don't know if I’ll be able to see her or not…”

“Her voice—”

As those words came out of Tobi’s mouth, Shiratama bit her lip hard.

It seemed like Tobi’s prediction was right on the mark.

“Kon’s voice, which we shouldn't be able to hear. Did you want to hear it?”

Shiratama nodded silently.

The two of them paid a visit to Kon Chiami’s home.

They didn't even know the apartment’s room number, but they were able to find out by checking the mailbox. Kon’s mother was delighted by a visit from classmates. It seemed like she wanted them to come see her daughter, and she welcomed them in.

Kon’s home was on the sixth floor. When the elevator came down, a woman who looked to be Kon’s mother was waiting for them. Tobi was taken by surprise. It was because Kon’s mother donned quite elaborate makeup, and wore what looked like formal clothes. The scent of perfume was impressively strong. On top of that, she was so cheerful, it felt out of place.

Tobi and Shiratama were led to the living room. Kon’s mother sat them down on a leather sofa, and went to prepare sweets and milk tea. Shiratama didn't hold back; he thought he heard her say “Please, don’t go to the trouble”, but those words didn't seem to reach Kon’s mother’s ears.

Various fragrances mixed together intricately, filling the air. It was a strangely luxurious living room, which made him feel ill at ease. He shied away from Kon’s mother’s rapid-fire shower of questions about school and friendships, too. Tobi couldn't answer most of them anyway, and Shiratama was struggling as well.

“That’s right.”

At that, Kon’s mother got a photo frame that was hanging on the wall and showed it to them.

It was a photo of a couple and a young girl smiling at a beach somewhere. It was a family photo they’d taken in Hawai’i, Kon’s mother informed them. Apparently they’d traveled to Guam and Cebu island, to Barcelona, London, and Paris as well.

“...She sure seems fond of bragging,” Baku grumbled.

Was that it? Tobi wondered. Rather than bragging, it seemed like Kon’s mother was being urged on by something, even to the point of pain.

“Excuse me, how is Chiami-san?”

Unable to bear it any longer, Shiratama cut into her story, and they were finally led to Kon Chiami’s room. She opened the door without knocking, and let Shiratama and Tobi into her daughter’s room.

White and pink made up the vast majority of the room.

Clad in frilly nightclothes, Kon rose from the bed.

“Chia-chan.”

Even when her mother called out to her, there was no response.

“Chia-chan. Chia-chan? Can’t you hear me?”

Her mother approached the bed and pressed her hands on Kon’s face, clutching it between both hands.

“Chia-chan! It’s Mama! Your Mama! Chia-chan! Chia-chan!”

“...Mama.”

Kon sounded out, staring vacantly at her mother before her.

“Mama. The one here right now. Mama.”

“That’s right. Mama has always been here, hasn't she? Your friends have come to see you, Chia-chan. Shiratama-san and Otogiri-kun. I’ve heard Shiratama-san’s name from you before, Chia-chan. Right? You told me before, remember? Isn't it great, Chia-chan?”

“Mm.”

Kon just let out a noise. Her head didn't move in the slightest. Her mother smiled at her.

“That’s right. Do you want something to drink? Are you thirsty? Or hungry? I’ll bring you something, okay? Mama knows all the things Chia-chan loves to eat, alright? Wait here. Alright, Chia-chan?”

Kon didn't respond. Her mother left the room eagerly.

This room had large windows. Though the lace curtains were closed, the rays of sun coming from the window dyed the white and pink of the furniture and walls orange.

Kon’s hair was braided and tied up. She hadn't worn that sort of hairstyle to school. Her mother had probably changed her into those nightclothes, as well as combed and tied her hair.

Shiratama brought Chinu out from the pochette. Without a moment’s pause, Chinu began to speak.

“Chiami is Chiami.”

But it wasn't Chinu’s voice.

Kon faced forward. Most likely, she wasn't looking anywhere in particular. Her face was just facing forward. Her mouth didn't move at all.

“Chiami is Chiami. Mama—”

That was a voice they shouldn't have been able to hear.

Without a doubt, the girl was right here.

Nevertheless, it was her voice, which shouldn't have rung out.

“Chiami is Chiami.”

-----

prev: 3-2 // next: 3-4

³ ‘heart desolation’ is the term q-talations uses in the kara no kioku manga. Literally, the words 虚心症  translate to ‘hollow heart disorder’. unrelated, but 虚心 is also an adjective that means ‘open-minded’, someone who doesn't harbor any preconceived notions in their heart.

Misc- you might remember, but 'Tobi just watched. There was nothing he could do but watch.' is a line that appeared in chapter 1.4 when Tobi watched Takatomo jump. What does it mean? Boy sure sees a lot of traumatic shit, ig

also if you're as annoyed as i am about seeing 'the weird thing' in italics all the time, i'll have you know the book puts emphasis marks on the phrase every single time it's mentioned. yes i find it obnoxious as well.

there's no exclamation mark in the original chapter title. 'eat' by itself sounds neutral so i added it in an attempt to convey the urging tone of the verb ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sorry for the wait. this chapter is long as hell. And i'm an engineering student, so you can imagine the state im in🫠 btw, i just noticed that tumblr post editor has been eating all of my paragraph breaks, so i've gone back and edited those in. sorry about that! enjoy your newly sectioned, slightly easier to read story.

#inochi no tabekata #inochi no tabekata light novel

[hanajozo]

"Finding Purpose" Chapter 5

Gojo Satoru x Reader Fanfic

You take a deep breath as you sit back down on the bed. Looking around, you don’t recognize where you are. It appears to be some sort of dorm room? But it was a bit bigger, nicer, and had a more traditional style to it than the typical dorm rooms you’ve seen before. As you try to get your bearings in this unfamiliar environment, the one thing you notice is a digital clock that rests upon the bedside table, “6:12am” it reads.

The only sounds you hear, besides your own heartbeat and breathing, are the chirps of a few birds outside. For a moment, you debated leaving the room to try and figure out where you are but eventually decided against it. Instead, you decide to direct your thoughts to the moment where you were sure it was the end of you. Your vision was extremely blurry and all senses were dulled at that time, but you recall seeing three distinct blobs of color. “Black, Pink, Orange…” You whisper to yourself. 

A few minutes pass, you sit there on the bed, repeating those same three words until it hits you like a truck. “Fushiguro Megumi, Itadori Yuji, Kugisaki Nobara,” You manage to squeak out as your hand comes up to cover your mouth that dropped wide open from shock. “Ken-chan has told me about them before. Those are Gojo-san’s students.. The first years.. This place has to be.. Tokyo Jujutsu High…” Memories of hanging out with your brother in your apartment, laughing and smiling as Nanami showed you silly selfies of Gojo and his students that Gojo-san had spammed his phone with, came flooding back.

You find yourself reminiscing on all the happy times, which for you, mostly consist of listening to Nanami’s stories about Jujutsu High and the world of sorcery. Friends were not something you had the luxury to maintain, you didn’t have any co-workers either. You were lonely, and you used to think that living vicariously through your brother’s tales would be enough. But when you were left truly alone, it was clear that it wasn’t enough. You were struggling, stuck in a pattern. 

“Maybe it was a blessing that I almost died. I probably would have crumbled under the weight of my own thoughts, stuck in my own shop for the rest of my life like that anyways,” You chuckle to yourself when the thought crosses your mind. Looking up at the plain ceiling you mumble out an apology, “Sorry Ken-chan. I broke our promise.”

You stand up again and walk circles around your room, you can only assume you’d been unconscious for a while, so you thought a little bit of movement would do you some good. Now that you identified this place as Tokyo Jujutsu High after recalling the faint memories of your rescuers, you definitely knew it wasn’t a good idea to leave the room. Your mind was swimming with thoughts of how you would break the news to your brother, the one who has protected you from the world of sorcery for as long as you can remember. 

He was on an extremely important mission and even with your near death experience, you ruled out calling him. It would be better if he didn’t know for now. You knew that if you were able to contact him and inform him of what happened, he would throw such an important mission out the window just to come back for you.

But what should you do about those here at Tokyo Jujutsu High? Should you hide your identity to prevent them from contacting your brother? “Wait a second,” you gasped, “Principal Yaga knows about me! Ken-chan told me that the principal here was the only one who knew of my existence. He had to inform the principal when he inquired about receiving extra compensation from the Jujutsu Society for my sake, so that he could secure that apartment next his.”

“I just need to find Principal Yaga and beg him not to call Ken-chan or tell anyone else. Not yet.” You whispered, nodding as you finalized your plan.

You glance over at the clock that now reads “6:41am” and think about your next move. It’s still early, so you debate sneaking out and finding his office before there’s a chance of encountering any staff or students in the halls. 

Nodding with conviction, you start rewrapping the bandages around your arm and head. Since you had a background as an artist and had experience wrapping a variety of types of packages, you figured it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out. After a couple of minutes, you looked in the mirror, surprisingly it looked identical to how you had found it when you first woke up. A small smile of satisfaction tugs at your lips, proud of the job you had done. 

Next, a change of clothes was in order. You were currently wearing a tank top and some lounge shorts. Not the worst, you determined, but it would certainly raise some eyebrows if you were to be seen walking around the halls of the school dressed like this. Taking a peek at the closet on the right side of the room, you don’t find much, but you find what you need–  Black slacks, a short sleeved white button down shirt, and a pair of black flats. After getting dressed, you took one more look in the mirror. You almost didn’t recognize yourself, bandaged up and in different attire than you would normally wear.

Sliding the door of your room open, you peek your head out and turn your head to look both ways to check if anyone is around. What greets you is an empty hallway, the only sounds still present are the chirping of the same birds as earlier. You decide it’s safe to venture out of your room for now.

You had heard so many stories about this school that you felt like you knew it like the back of your own hand, even though you’ve never been here before. Your brain pieces together fragments of all the stories you can recall about the school, creating a makeshift map in your head. You walk slowly in the halls, as to limit the amount of noise your footsteps may make in the quiet morning.

After a short while of wandering the halls of the school, following the map you had put together in your head, you arrive at a set of large doors that you can only think would be Principal Yaga’s office. You try to push the doors open, they were much heavier than you expected, but you were able to slip in regardless. The sight that greets you inside those doors, much to your pleasant surprise, were a bunch of dolls at the opposite side of the room. You instantly knew you got the right place.

You walked around the room, looking for any signs of the principal. You check every corner of the dimly lit room, not touching anything as to not alert any system that may be in place in an important room like this.

A sigh escapes your lips as you mumble out loud, “He’s not here.. Is it still too early? I thought principals usually arrived at work before everyone else…”

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” A deep and intimidating voice interrupts your thoughts. You whip around to see a man with short dark hair and unmistakable glasses.

“Principal Yaga! It’s me, uh, N-nanami (y/n)..” You squeak out, your throat dries up from nerves. Clearing your throat, you continue your explanation, “You can’t tell my brother what happened. You can’t let anyone tell him either! I don’t want to jeopardize his most important mission yet, please.” You look down and put your hands together, as if to pray for forgiveness.

Principal Yaga’s initially intimidating aura dissipates when he takes his glasses off and walks closer to you, getting a better look at your face. Although you’re bandaged up, he can recognize you. Nanami had shown him a picture one time, in case anything happened to him while on the job. “(y/n)? Nanami’s little sister? I can’t believe it’s you that was the victim in that case about the shop a couple weeks ago.” He sighs, both hands resting on his hips. You nod.

“Wait– did he say two week-” Your thoughts were interrupted by the Principal clearing his throat.

“Well, Miss (y/n). I know Nanami-san has done a lot to protect you, and it’s clear you care about him and his work as well. I will do my best to adhere to your request, as it seems to be in the best interests for both of you.”

You bring a hand up to your chest and sigh of relief.

“However, Ieiri-san, who has been taking care of you will be informed of the matter–”

Your heartbeat quickens, “Right.. That makes sense…”

“-- And you must remain here on campus. It’s in the best interest for your safety, while Nanami-san is gone. It’s likely that since you were targeted by a curse once, it could happen again.”

Your heart felt like it was about to drop in your stomach. At first, you were thinking of how furious your brother would be. But then you start feeling butterflies in your chest, it could be just the chance at a more fulfilling life, even if it went against your brother’s wishes.

You nod again and look up at Principal Yaga, “Is there anything I can do here? I know I just woke up and still need to recover and regain some strength but um… I thought this could be my chance…”

Principal Yaga blinks a few times in surprise, “Nanami-san always told me you were happy with your shop and that you didn’t want anything to do with the sorcery world.”

A chuckle, that comes out more scorned than you were intending, “No matter how much I tried to suppress the feelings, a part of me always felt like I was missing out on a bigger and more fulfilling life. I never had any friends or truly felt like I belonged anywhere. I was all alone. I wasn’t happy, I don’t think I ever truly was. I felt trapped behind an iron curtain..” You start to sniffle, your true feelings spilling out and just wouldn’t stop.

“I was always thankful that Ken-chan would always protect me and help me out but I was suffocating and I didn’t even know it. A part of me was almost glad I nearly died, it gave me an out.” 

Sniffles turned to sobs as Principal Yaga put his hands on your shoulders, your blubbering confessions continuing, “I loved being able to pursue my art, but I was just a shell all along. No friends or emotions to call my own, I lived exclusively vicariously through Ken-chan’s stories and that’s what kept me going all this time, even if I didn't know it back then. I’m so sick of being invisible..”

Principal Yaga took a deep breath and patted your head, “(y/n)-san. I understand. If you want to stay, even after Nanami-san gets back, I think we can arrange something. I have final say as the principal here. However, this means you will have to consent to me informing the higher ups of your existence and we will need to set up a more formal file for you here.”

You nod, trying to stop the sobs from shaking your body, “Yes. If I can offer anything that might make a difference in the world, I want to help..” You take deep breaths, chest shaking in an attempt to calm down.

Principal Yaga smiles ever so slightly, “We always seem to be running low on teaching staff here, specifically for the non-combat subjects. (y/n)-san, since you are an artist, I will put in a recommendation for you to become an art teacher here at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Our curriculum may be centered around Jujutsu, but other subjects and teachers help enrich our students’ lives. I’m aware of your work and although I regret to tell you we were unable to salvage anything from your shop, Nanami-san once made mention of your online gallery that serves as your portfolio. If it’s alright with you, I will present it to the higher ups at our next meeting.” 

You immediately fall to your knees and start crying happy tears as you look up at Principal Yaga, “I– Yes! Thank you.. Thank you so much, Principal Yaga. I know that Ken-chan will oppose it but I’ve never wanted anything more than this, I’ve never been able to stand up for myself and ask for what I truly wanted... Thank you…”

“Now, let’s get you back to your room before classes start for the day and so we don’t give Ieiri-san a heart attack if she finds your room empty,” Principal Yaga extends a hand to help you up and nods his head in direction to the door. You graciously accept his offer to help you stand up.

“Since you found your way here, I'm assuming you can find your way back, correct?” Principal Yaga inquires with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, I can manage, thank you again, Principal Yaga.” You nod in confirmation.

You turn around and give a small wave to the principal before heading back to your room.

#gojo satoru #gojo #satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #ao3 #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #x reader #reader insert

[diary-of-a-vampire]

Lately, I’ve been feeling well. But honestly it’s because I took a week off of school, while it’s the first week of the second half of this semester.

I’m doing good; I can stay up as long as I want, do whatever I want, draw whatever I want, eat what I want. I don’t feel like reaching out to friends, I don’t feel like faking motivation for homework - since it’s been way too exhausting lately, like in this animation. Perhaps, I’ve been doing things against what I actually liked for too long, and now I’m unconsciously trying to make up for it.

I only want to draw my feelings, and am addicted to social media again. I hope to play the piano again, or bass, or perhaps think about 2024 goals, or make an important list for my psychiatrist about what’s bothering me.

But honestly, why does it feel so good to escape, every time again?

Why does it feel, like time is on pause, like I can finally breathe - when I cut off all contact, and don’t think about my responsibilities?

I used to do this in my first depression too, and now - even if I’m managing better, I’m doing it again.

I wonder if I shouldn’t feel more guilty for only drawing parts of my inner world, if I shouldn’t care more about friends right now, if I shouldn’t worry about wasting my time - but I don’t even feel like it. Like I live in some comforting bubble, that I don’t want to get out from right now.

I don’t understand, if this is actually good for me and if this equals rest - or if this might drown me eventually again, first a nice, comforting bath, warm water surrounding me; only to get dragged down so my whole body is getting pushed deeper again, into colder water, until it feels like ice again.

Maybe it’s better - like my therapist says - when things aren’t certain, and I don’t know yet.

But it feels so weird to finally have some space in my mind, after months of chaos.

I wonder if I should ‘care’ more about friends right now, if I should do more diverse things - instead of being so attached to drawing - if I shouldn’t feel guilty for being lazy, and only doing the things I like lately.

Things just have been too much; getting stressed and angry for no reason, paranoia, not understanding myself, identity crises, anxiety, depression, overworking, unhealthy perfectionism, body dysmorphia, losing hope, regaining it again.

I still don’t understand the meaning of me, or how to stay consistent - but maybe that’s fine..? Or not? Whatever, I guess.

Sometimes, I wonder if I shouldn’t care more about how I might be losing touch with reality; living in a dream world. This has always been my comfort place.

I might want to study somewhere else next year for my minor, come back, do my master - and perhaps, perhaps, study something psychology-like after this.

But then I wonder if I shouldn’t be more like the people around me, who seem to be putting love and a romantic relationship on their top at their wish list - next to a nice job and good health for them and their loved ones.

I have the same wish for me and my loved ones; health, happiness, succes, love, luck - my dream job; an artist that expresses themselves and makes others seem and heard, and makes other projects about characters and stories too - except romantic love has dropped a few places down lately. I wonder, if it matters that lately, I don’t care as much about a relationship in the future - I don’t have any plans for that - and perhaps, I want to stay single for now, for who knows how long.

Does that mean growing up, or does it mean I’m losing my humanity even more?

Losing humanity, when I lost parts of my identity, and still try to fit in the pieces? They’ll probably never fully fit.

Losing humanity, when my heart broke to pieces because of those moodswings - or because I could never be enough, and still try to compensate in all that I do?

Losing humanity, knowing I sometimes don’t feel something when I should? Feel things when I shouldn’t?

Losing humanity, analysing all around me so deeply at times, or not caring about anything, wondering what my purpose is at times?

Losing humanity, my reflection fading, like the character I wrote?

Losing humanity, not wanting others to see the deepest parts of myself - rather showing it to strangers or no one at all?

Losing humanity, because I don’t seem to feel anything anymore when it comes to romantic love - and I somehow like it better that way?

Somehow, the last thing seems more like a task lately, than something I want. Even if it has been my wish for the majority of my life.

Somehow, hiding away at home this week seems the best.

And perhaps I might change my mind again, or my mood might change again - like always,

But it gives me the illusion like time is on pause, and that has always been my burning wish even more.

It’s 03:44 now, and I wish I could just draw or write even more, until sunrise. It gives me so much peace somehow,

But I guess I don’t want to worry anyone by me being tired - even if I might wake up just fine.

I guess I might listen to some more music and then go to sleep.

Goodnight, dear diary.

[margoism]

Prologue

Recently, I just have Taylor Swift LSS and deng, she has been on my playlist and singing unconsciously in my mind for some strange weird reason.

Out of the blue, I decided to download Ragnarok Origin Global after playing Ragnarok Next Generation. I just got tired as it was not working out for me (long story) and play a game where I knew no one.

Stranger still, I don't know the lyrics of her songs haha, I just make them up as I go (yes, that bad) and all I know is this song seems to suit this post, lol.

Countdown to 100 days ago

You see, most of the time, people are motivated to move across games and I was guilty of that as I jumped from Ragnarok Mobile (ROM) Eternal Love to Ragnarok Next Generation (RoX).

For me, it was because of my old guild mates from the original game, Ragnarok PH and my then boyfriend (also from the guild). It was fun at the beginning, a reunion of sorts until things became complicated when I got promoted at work (me night shift, him, a 12 hour teaching position). I was playing less due to the adjustment, spent most of my time doing OT (ty), and as much as I tried, I got sick of being replied to with just one line, "ganyan ka naman" then give me the cold shoulder or when I try to spend time with him, he only tells me off ("magOT ka na lang").

But yeah, maybe long distance relationships are stupid and I have no business in it.

I broke it off one day, ghosting him and silently played solo with a priest account someone lent me. It was hard but I guess, in some way, I deserved it. A cruel end to three years but I guess he deserved better too, someone who is actually near him and actually loves him. Not once in three years did we ever say "love" too so in a way, I was tired in many ways.

But please don't judge me, I admit it was immature but if I think about it, we were just waiting for the other to end things and well, he was suggesting seeing someone else already which I was too tired to be mad about it since all I wanted to do at the time was sleep.

I endured playing silently for months within the guild (yes, not interacting with anyone) when I heard about Ragnarok Origin Global from one GC I was in (my alt's guild haha). They were moving to the said game and raved about how much better it was. I was not close to them so without saying anything, I went about reading their review until one day, it was maintenance day in RoX.

By this time, it has been months and I was bored of playing mobile legends on the side so I downloaded the game.

Loading 1 2 3

I thought long and hard what job class to play while downloading. I always wanted to an archer class so why not? I imagined myself doing MVP hunting solo (lol) and how exciting it would be to be. I mean, I was so intent to play alone. That thought alone made me laugh, telling myself I was going to die alone anyways, hahaha.

Circa 100 Days Ago

I know it was 100 days ago, I got a congratulatory message today, before maintenance, that I have been playing the game for 100 days.

I am not sure how I survived playing alone until a guild took me in my late mid-game period. I stuck to the general mechanics of making sure I raised my Agi first because, according to the GC, while the damage is low, the swiftness will compensate. It was cool until I learned about Divine Power (DP) and "title" that I had to compensate for the lost opportunities in a short span of time.

Now, the thing about this switch was because I was playing solo, I was forced to push myself to pray to Hollhengren (I hate upgrading my equipment before this game), seek ways to obtain needed cards, grind, and cross my fingers for each gacha roll I made. Back in the day, I was typically leeched with no need to do much other than (manual) dailies.

I guess the freedom made me happy and the game enjoyable.

In 100 days, I made new friends, experienced a guild merge, and learned how to navigate a new Rune-Midgard lifestyle. I even love the world chat drama even when I don't know the server stars personally, it feels cool to run into them on the map or when they choose to sit with you on the bench:

So What Now

Today, after maintenance, I might reach level 88, now orange titled (one star), have a decent DP (227K).

Still a noob but heck, at least I enjoy every gaming day. And no, thankfully, no one I know is on this server.

#ROO #ragnarokorigin #orcvillage3 #Spotify

[starshipsofstarlord]

Could I request a Bucky Barnes x reader smut? Basically she and Bucky have been together for some time and maybe it’d be a little angst where the two are talking about the future and Bucky not thinking he can ever have a normal future? Which would result in soft smut and later reader being revealed as pregnant so Bucky finally gets his family

I’m Home

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | based on the request ^^

Warnings | angst, smut, oral sex (m receiving), fluff, pregnancy, mentions of death

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

The Wilson’s boat rocked sturdily upon the water, swaying as the boats worked aboard. Your hand held the weight of a silver spanner, twirling it in your fist as though it were a knife, thinking of the long road ahead of you. Sam had the shield now, that was a good start, but still, there was a ways to go until the world recognised him as the captain that he was meant to be.

There was so much destruction ongoing in the world, what with the flag smashers, and whomever the power broker was, and surely, you knew on the shallow surface, that there would be masses more problems to arise. It was exhausting, to know that there was no end to the war on earth, and that you were surely going to be fighting the threats until you could no more.

Bucky felt the same; he had just gone from one war to another, losing everyone that he cared about along the way. Steve had given everything up to finally find peace, and yet, the two did not share the same opportunity. An escape was never laid at your feet, instead, the pair of you were trapped in the cycle of cruelty, being blended around in a shredder by reality.

“Hey.” A voice confiscated you from the lonesome containment of your thoughts; it was Sam’s hosting sister, Sarah. I’m her own way, though you doubted that she would never admit such a thing, she was a hero. She had become a widow, and not to mention she remained a stable mother to keep her boys afloat, as well as nurturing half the kids that lived within close proximity.

“Hi Sarah.” You put the tool down, giving her your ample attention as you stood, tugging your fingers into the loops of your jeans as you stepped out of the boat, and onto the dock. “Anything I can help with?” It hadn’t passed your attention that Sam and Bucky had disappeared, but not into ash like last time. Instead, they had walked off in the direction of the house, most likely meddling about with a ball, in the back yard with Jim and Jody.

“I just came to let you know I’ve made the sofa up for you and Bucky. Are you sure you’ll be all good, I could always kick Sam outta his bed and make him sleep on the living room floor?” The two of you had nightmares, if you were to be separated from him for even a night, it was certain that the pair of you would greatly suffer. That was something you didn’t want to burden any of the Wilson’s with, screaming in the middle of the night because flashes from your past struck an unconscious nerve.

“All good, and thank you Sarah. You didn’t have to let us stay here, we both appreciate it, a hell of a lot.” One thing that you had learnt throughout your years was to show gratitude. The smallest amount shared had the ability to spring up moods, and had even set you on a much more heroic path than the one that you had been originally been placed upon.

“You’ve earned your stay.” Sam’s sister shrugged with modesty, acknowledging the help that you and Bucky had not only given to Sam, but to her family’s legacy. The two of you had aided with fixing the old wreckage that had now returned to the form of a boat, keeping it afloat rather than permitting it to sink from the quarrels that Sam had with himself regarding fixing the damned yet meaningful port of transport.

“This life you have, it’s great. I get it’s not easy, but it’s beautiful. You have two wonderful kids, that you’ve done such a great job raising, and not to mention, these community that you have is so loving and kind, even to us outsiders.” The pair of you had paused outside of her front door, speaking. “Sam is lucky to have you, he truly is.”

“Well, maybe one day this life could be something similar to what you’ll have.” The sister of your friend smiled, though your mirroring expression retracted. In a stumble of thought, you shook your head, not believing that possibility. This all was... perfect. That was something that you had never had, nor would you think that you’d ever be permitted such a peaceful lifestyle.

“I don’t think that would work out.” You sincerely mumbled, feeling the sad swelling in your chest at the prospect of all the luxuries that life had denied both you and Bucky of. It wasn’t fair all the same, but the two of you were used to being denied human rights, let alone the simplicity of nothing more than a life together. “As nice as it sounds, me and Buck aren’t really cut out for all this I suppose.”

“The world does not choose who can and cannot have a family, there’s always a way. Just because you haven’t had the most ideal line of story does not at all mean that you can’t make it work, from as much as i know, you two deserve a life together, that doesn’t include being shot at, or shooting at other people. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go for it, and hope for the best.” She gave you a final nod, before heading inside, and you trailed after her into her her residency.

The two of you went your separate ways, and there, you saw Bucky, sat up on the sofa, his hands clasped together as his eyes stared towards the tan bag, that concealed not the shape, but the Stars and Stripes of the infamous shield. It was much a relief that it was no longer in Walker’s toxic clutch, however its presence, among other things, were taking a clear toll on your boyfriend.

“You ever feel like we’re stuck?” The air was tense around you both as he spoke solemnly, it diverting to match the mood of his question. “Like we’re us, and I love us, but it makes me think that it’s it. Just me and you, on this path for the rest of our lives, never getting a compensated break, nor an average person’s future. I want this, what these people here have, not the combat that is aided by this metal arm, or the associations that stick to us like life lines.”

“All the time, it’s on my mind James.” With a sigh, you came to sit beside him on the couch, resting your head against his bionic shoulder. “I ever wonder if there’s a timeline of you and me where there’s none of this ruckus, we just have a nice little house in a quiet and accepting place, and maybe a kid or two in the future.”

“I’d give anything up for that.” He looked at you, almost wide eyed, as his hand slithered down onto your knee cap, rubbing small circles as he wore a blunt and endearing smile upon his infatuating lips. “I mean that Buck, that sounds...”

“Perfect?” He asked, leaning closer as he grabs your chin with his wondrous fingers, his nose brushing alongside your own as his puckered lips fell upon yours, earning a small hun of content from within you. “Because you’re perfect to me, and no matter what life we are encased in, I want to share it with you. I want stare at the night sky and watch the moonlight illuminate the side of your face, and the stars reflect in your entrapping eyes, that I want to look into like a medium’s orbs forever, because that is how I will see the future that I ever so hope for.”

“How long have you been working on that one Barnes, because you are usually not that smooth?” A small laugh erupted from your mouth, but you were quickly silenced as you felt a cold metal hand slither up and beneath the back of your tank top, rubbing along the seam of your spine, as his lips ran down the column of your throat, evoking small and delicate whimpers out of you.

“Shut up doll, because I really want to fuck you now, and those words leaving your mouth are making it kinda hard to concentrate.” A furrow imbedded between his brows, as you tilted your head at him, a smirk proclaiming your expression as you pulled the material over your head, and reached behind yourself to unclip the back of your bra.

“Kinda hard to concentrate, hun?” You asked nonchalantly as his gaze zeroed in on your bare breasts, his hands smoothing along your ribcage as he adjusted his grip of you so that he was palming at your breasts, and squeezing the nipples. “I want you in me baby, I’ve practically gone days without you inside of me.” Licking your lips, you reached down to palm your beloved through his layers, earning a positive groan from the former assassin.

“Hours, you mean. I fingered you on the road trip here.” Yes, that was true, however, it was only his fingers, not even the metal ones, and whilst you loved what they alone could do, he had to be discreet as you were sat on the back of the truck, which had carried the primary parts for the Wilson’s family boat. If you were to scream out, they’d have surely thought that you’d fallen off the back of the truck and pull over, or if they had much sense, they’d have noticed that there was more going on than two passengers sat side by side on the journey to their small neighbourhood by the docks,

“You heard me Barnes, otherwise I’m sure Sam wouldn’t have any problem if I came to his room in this state of undress that I am currently portraying.” Growling was never Bucky’s fortes, however the sound aggressively ripped through the tunnel of his throat, as he threw off his grey top, quickly unfastening his belt, as he awaited for you to strip the rest of your clothing before him.

But rather than doing so, as he stood before you, your hand had trouble resisting the sight of his cock that had bobbed to attention, and thus, you wrapped it around his toned flesh, giving it a couple jerks that had his head reeling back, before you tongued his tip, moaning to yourself at the taste of him invading your sensitive taste buds. “Love your cock.”

As soon as you said that, Bucky gently gathered your head in a ponytail so that it was free from bombarding your face, and groaned as quiet as he could as you sucked him in your mouth, running your tongue up the side of his shaft. “Is that a part of your dream world baby doll, the sight of my cock throbbing to be inching down that perfect little throat of yours?”

To answer him, you pressed your head down deeper, humming around him as your eyes ogled up at the sight of your super soldier, who was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, and attuned to the sight of you. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, as you lightly gagged around him, pulling off him, and squeezing his balls, before running your hungry tongue along the middle of his sack.

“Always. It would be a dream if you made love to me right here and now though, I’m not sure I can wait any longer James.” Bucky took a long inhale, before ravishingly pulling down your jeans and panties in one go, and tossing you so that he was below your form, and you hovered over him, toying with his erect cock. “I love you so much Bucky, and I’m scared of what’s to come. I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a fight.”

“There’s always a fight doll face.” He rubbed his thumb soothingly across your jaw, pulling your hips down closer so that you were rubbing your slick folds against his standing cock. “But this is what we’re fighting for, the rest of our lives together. I’d be damned, one day after this, and if I were to die, I’d be a happy man. There’d be the memory of you to keep me forever happy in the afterlife, and not to mention, there’d be no more wars for me to participate in.”

“I’m not going to let you die Buck, even hypothetically. We saw how your little hypothetical synopsis went last time.” Tapping his cock against your clit, a breathy sound evicted from your lips, as you stared down at the two of you intimately touching, the sight alone making you more turned on and impatient. “No one is allowed to kill you, otherwise I’ll unleash hell on all their flag smashing asses.”

Giving him one last stroke, you guided his tip towards your entrance, removing your hand once you had him situated, so that you could rest it upon his sturdy shoulder, and sink down on him, the feeling of him stretching you being the most euphoric sensation that you had ever endured. Hushed moans ceased from the both of you, as Bucky’s hands gripped your ass cheeks, only adding to all of the pleasure that was erupting within you.

“Think your pussy is gonna kill me before anyone else does; your so tight.” His pitch had rose, as your fingertips danced along the left side of his handsome face, invisibly connecting the dots of his beauty marks. You allowed the pair of you to adjust for a simple moment, before you began to raise your hips, sliding up his super soldier rod, only to slide down it again.

The actions were repeated, as your own hands trailed down his warm skin, to drag down the golden lines of his vibranium arm, only to bring the weapon to your mouth, and kiss every black finger up, as you tried your best to muffle the moans that were hoping to reap free. “So fucking big, I love you and your cock.” You muttered, your sight turning blurry as Bucky realised that it was his turn to do the work, and thus, he thrusted up into you, making echoing sounds of your skin slapping together reverberate around the room.

“Love you more.” He gritted his teeth, pulling his metallic hand away from your numb lips, so that he could swirl the elegant digits around your clit, the action provoking whimpers to rapidly surpass your exterior, as you bit harshly onto your own lip, and screwed your eyes shut. “Cum for me doll, want you to cover my hard cock in everything you have. Come on baby, you can do it.”

Without much thought, as your mind was too scrambled to do so, you reached for Bucky’s spare hand, pulling it to your mouth as you sucked on his fingers as though you were blowing him. A low moan that was dialled down from the presence of his flesh digits, ran from your mouth, as you began to bounce your hips, chasing and eventually reaching your high. You came around him, pushing him too over the edge, his seed filling your walls, as you collapsed atop of him, huffing from exhaustion as you removed his salivated hand from the realms of your mouth, resting your head against his panting chest.

Stringed sighs fell from Bucky’s breath as he tried to catch his own breath. His hands rubbed your back, not only to comfort you, but also to subconsciously pull you closer against him, and his softening cock that was still inside you, and was keeping his cum plugged within your tender and pulsating walls. If life was easier, there’d be more time for this, and that, but for now, it was just every now and then. Maybe you’d win this fight and survive until the next one, but maybe, you’d lose and never battle again.

Life was precious, that was something that you had not only learned as an avenger, but also something that had been told to you by Isiah. That man thought that you deserved a normal life, no fighting, no super soldiers. He himself was the biggest yet silent critic of those with additional strength, but his opinion was never going to sway you, not as you stared out into Sarah’s backyard, and watched the man that you loved play with the boys.

They had the shield, and were whisking it through the air like a frisbee; dangerous, yes, but again, life could only amount to so much without an ounce of pain. A content and satisfied smile absorbed any pain on your face, you were enraptured with the sight of Bucky like this, he was like an uncle to these two kids. He was no captain America, that was for sure, but you didn’t want a man in Stars and Stripes, all you wanted was him to be at peace, and it was a fact unbeknownst to him, that you had made such an alternative to that.

“Still want all this?” Sarah emerged, a cheap yet formidable bottle of wine pursed in her hand, as she held two clear and tall glasses in her hand. You hummed, watching as she poured the thin red consistency into one glass, but as she went to fill the other, you held out your hand, shaking your head. The woman was confused, last time you had visited, and were entangled on her sofa with the limbs of your boyfriend and a shaggy old blanket, you had kindly accepted her offer.

“Sure do.” You sighed, staring out into the green abyss where Jim was hanging from Bucky’s arm like it were a branch. “How do you do this, this whole mother thing? I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how you make it look so easy, it’s just, you do such a good job.” Your palms rested flat on your thighs as you laughed at Sam ordering Jody to jump on Bucky’s back, as he fell down in faux defeat.

“It never is easy y/n.” She placed the open bottle down, along with the mismatched glasses, that were asymmetrical considering one was half filled and the other wallowed in emptiness. “But every step of difficulty is worth it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss their father, but they’re my priority. For Jim and Jody, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, and you’d understand that if you ever opened yourself up to giving your life of heroism up to have all this.”

“I might have to.” Twiddling with your fingers, glancing up at your boyfriend, realising that he was in fact not looking over, you clasped your intwined hands over your stomach, smiling softly to yourself. “And maybe not having another option is the best option for me and Buck, because we don’t have to fight with ourselves over being included in our duties, we have new ones.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sarah asked, resting her nurturing hand upon the tile of your shoulder, prompting you to turn your face towards her. There was a conflict in your eyes, it was something that she recognised her younger self having once worn. It was the idea of putting everything aside, all for a child, everything that she had ever known, so that she could put her baby boy first. “Does Bucky know?”

“He will.” You shifted your head down, unsure of yourself. This had been what you had wanted, and whilst you still envied Sarah for the role she had, you were hurt. A part of you wanted to be an avenger until you were nothing but a soul drifting in the abyss of non existence, another didn’t want to let the knowledge of being a carrier for a new future crumble you. “I just need a moment to tell him.”

“I’ve got it.” She sent you a wink, picking up the items she had brought out, before she called on Sam and the kids to come inside. Sarah had gifted you the opportunity of revealing the truth to your partner with no one else around; you appreciated that. As he stalked closer, you met him halfway, sinking into his arms as he hugged you.

“Looked like you were having fun with the boys.” You verbally noted, loving the feeling of him running his fingers through your hair. “You’re amazing Bucky Barnes, to me and to everyone. I just, don’t want you to freak out on me, I have something big, really big, to tell you, and-“

“Baby, I know.” He smiled, pulling back so that he could look you in the face. “I have super human senses, I heard their little heart beat for the first time yesterday. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In fact, I want to ask you if you’ll accept my question of making Sam the godfather.” You nodded, tears standing in your eyes, as you brought the man down for a kiss.

“Yes. But I’m not sure that he’ll be praising us for making a baby when we technically created him or her on the couch inside.” Bucky shook his head at you, kissing your forehead before walking inside with you, preparing to tell the Wilson family, that had along the way became your own, the good news- well, not the sofa bit.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #bucky oneshot #bucky imagine #bucky reader insert #bucky x pregnant!reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes request #imagines #imagine #xreader #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes ff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

#hawks #takami keigo #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks x you #gender neutral #smut #bnha #mha #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha fanfiction #bnha x reader #mha x reader #fred writes #no idea why I’m writing these #guess I’m just in a Mood

[buckyownsmylife]

Somewhere only we know - Steve Rogers/Reader/Bucky Barnes smut

The one where your married best friends ask you for an anniversary gift: for you to sleep with them.

Warnings: poliamory, squirting, p in v, p in a, threesome, anal fingering, oral (f, m, performed by m and f), dirty talk, curse words.

A/N: Prompts for today were Double penetration + squirting. I really, really loved creating this universe where Bucky and Steve were married and I loved this reader, so I think I might be adding more fics about their relationship in the future.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I could see that she was nervous. Even if I wasn’t one of her bestfriends (or a trained killing machine), it was pretty obvious by the way she was biting on her lower lip and avoiding both mine and Steve’s eyes.

She’d never been timid around us before. In fact, I couldn’t even remember a single time I’d seen this spitfire of a woman silent, much less uncomfortable. She just had this way about her, this confidence about who she was and of her own worth that stopped anyone who might try to treat her like something simple. She really was anything but.

Which is why the way she was behaving, so out of character for both herself and our relationship, brought a heavy weight to my heart.

“Sweetheart,” I called out, approaching where she was sitting on mine and Steve’s bed before stroking her cheek softly, silently asking her to look me in the eyes again. “You know you can say no, right? We don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. You’re way more important to us than our attraction to you and this silly fantasy that we created.”

I watched as she blinked twice, and from the corner of my eye, I can see Steve approaching, suddenly catching onto the change of circumstances. Bless his heart, as much as he truly loved this girl, he really was an airhead when it came to women and their feelings, always needing Y/N to spell out what was going on in her life for him to understand that something was wrong. But what he suffered in distraction, he certainly compensated in his caring heart.

I knew better than anyone how my husband could be when he deeply loved someone, and I also knew just how deep both of our feelings ran for her.

“He’s right, Y/N.” The bed dipped as he sat on her other side, reaching for one of the hands on her lap to run his thumb over the back of it. “If you’re worried about finding us another anniversary gift, you can always relent and give me your brownie recipe.”

She snorted, and just that silly sound had the tension on my shoulders suddenly disappearing, a silly smile opening up as I realized that I just might have read her wrong in the midst of my own nervousness over what we were about to do.

“I don’t know what’s more stupid, the fact that you both think I don’t want this or that you actually believe I’d ever give you my family recipe, Stevie.” The words were said in her usual non-bullshit tone and just like that, we were all back to being bestfriends and not a couple about to fuck their closest friend. We laughed, and Steve and I took the opportunity to graze our eyes over her body, tonight clad in a little summer dress that really had no reason to be as tempting as it looked, but the truth was that anything she wore enticed me. 

God, how I wanted her.

She drew in a sharp breath before finally spilling out, “I'm just nervous, that’s all. And maybe a little bit confused. Like, what is this? Something to spice up your decades old relationship? How did you even come to decide on doing this with me? Don’t you think it’s going to ruin our friendship? What about…?”

Steve and I exchanged one of our significant looks before he swiftly covered her mouth with his palm, effectively silencing her. “Calm down, doll. Deep breaths. Of course it won’t ruin our friendship.”

I stopped then, opting to let my husband take the lead of the conversation. Y/N’s eyes followed mine, although her head was somewhat restricted by the weight of Steve’s hand, and she raised an eyebrow in curiosity when he opened his mouth only to close it a few times.

“This isn’t just an… exotic experience to us,” he started, and I nodded in agreement. “We’ve actually been thinking about opening our relationship to embrace one other person for sometime now.”

Her eyes grew huge, the weight of our words clearly surprising her. It was silent in the room for a while when she didn’t immediately offer any response, until my stupid boy realized he still had his hand over her lips, obstructing her speech.

“Sorry,” he sheepishly smiled, making her roll her eyes but smile back at him with fondness. God, how I loved them. My heart pounded desperately against my chest, terrified of her reaction, fiercely hopeful to have her as mine too.

“For how long?” Was her question when she finally was free to speak, and I chuckled lowly, my eyes never straying from hers.

“Ever since we met.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My breath hitched as I felt like my heart stopped beating for a few seconds, Bucky’s words barely processing in my swirling brain. I didn’t know what to say, which was never a good thing when it came to me, but how could one so simply deal with the fact that her married best friends who she had secretly longed for had been interested in her all this time? 

So all it came out of my mouth was, “You’re telling me we’ve all been crushing on each other for three fucking years and you only now got the courage to talk to me about it? And using sex as an excuse?” I scoffed, crossing my arms while fake pouting. “I expected more from the both of you, seriously.”

Their roars of laughter were just breathy enough for me to know that they had been nervously anticipating my reaction, which was understandable. For all the hard time I was giving them, I knew how… peculiar this entire situation was, and I couldn’t really say I’d behave any differently if I was in their shoes.

“Well, you know…” One of Steve’s fingers trailed down my jaw before turning my head to face him, and I fucking shivered at how the stupidly simple touch ignited fire in my veins. “It is a decades-long marriage. We couldn’t just very well open it to someone who we didn’t really know and love, just because we were attracted to her.”

“And believe me, sweetheart…” This time, it was Bucky’s voice talking by my ear and Bucky’s fingers tracing over my exposed collarbones, before he leaned down to place a sweet kiss between them. “We’ve been dreaming about fucking you senseless ever since we met.”

A beat as I let their words rush simmer the arousal built inside of me. “Well, don’t you fellas know just how to get a woman going?” Another pair of breathless chuckles, this time for a completely different reason, and I felt Steve squeeze the hand he still held in his.

“Can we kiss you, sweetheart?” He asked, and I found myself swooning - not for the first time - under the blue of his eyes, a soft smile on my lips before I licked them in preparation, quickly nodding.

“Yes,” I breathed out, my gaze falling down to his beautifully pink lips. “Please,” I urged, ignoring the cheshire cat grin that took over his entire face when he realized just how desperate I was for them.

Kissing Steve was everything I thought it would be, except reality felt nicer than even my most realistic dreams. His lips were soft against mine, slowly taking control of our movements before prying them open to accept his tongue.

He tasted like the wine we had shared and I was hooked already. But then a rough beard tickled my neck as Bucky nuzzled his face against it, and I turned around to grant him the same treatment, excited to know how he tasted too.

He was more eager, his hand quickly pulling me by my nape to meet his mouth as mine cradled his face. Instinctively, I knew that despite his rough ways, he liked to be touched softly, and that only became more obvious when I let my own hands fall to the back of his neck, scratching the skin there with care.

Steve’s P.O.V.

I watched with fascination as my husband fell apart in Y/N’s soft hands, my pants growing more uncomfortable each second. A strangled moan escaped Bucky’s lips and I knew he had his tongue inside her mouth now, exploring her sweet taste just like I’d been doing just minutes before.

By the way he easily pulled her to sit on his lap, it was clear that he enjoyed it, just like I did. She was straddling him now, and it didn’t take much longer on their makeout session for her to start unconsciously rubbing herself over his crotch.

My mouth watered at the thought of him being half as hard as I was. Automatically, my hand went over the bulge on my jeans, palming it, feeling it without any urge to take care of myself whatsoever. I knew there was a long night of exploration ahead of us and I wanted it to be the best any of us had ever had.

So I started by massaging Y/N’s scalp, a reminder for her to pull away and breathe, because I was desperate to have a taste of my husband. “Do you mind scooting over, darling? I want to show you something.”

She went without resistance, resuming her previous spot in our bed while I sank down to my knees in front of Bucky, who looked at me with lust-filled eyes and reddened lips that I briefly kissed before my hands made quick work of the fly on his jeans.

“Stand back and watch the show,” I whispered, winking at her when she gasped as Bucky’s cock became visible and I immediately went to work, my lips stretching to accommodate his thickness even after so many years on my knees for him. Even only half-hard, he was still impressive, and it only took a few bobs of my head for him to grow to his complete size.

“Fuck.” I let go of Bucky’s cock with a pop to look at Y/N, who had made herself comfortable by our headboard and now had her fingers under the skirt of her dress, her eyes going from my mouth to the member I still held in my close fist.

“Now, we didn’t say you could touch yourself, did we, pretty girl?” I smacked my lips as I crawled on top of the bed to kiss her before making my way back, Bucky and I exchanging a few loving glances as we undressed in front of her. Then, he beckoned her to the edge of the bed before signaling for her to raise her arms before taking off her dress, leaving her in just her panties.

My eyes were immediately attracted to her breasts, admiring the weight, the aureolas. I itched to suck on one of her nipples, maybe while Bucky did the same on the other, but for now, I knew he had other pressing needs, so I just knelt once more, taking her underwear with me until she was completely bare in front of us.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I saw Bucky exchange another silent conversation with Steve before his husband nodded, climbing on the other side of the bed while the brunette man came to stand by the foot of it. “Lay down,” he ordered, already wrapping a hand around my ankle and tugging, forcing me to do as he said. “Spread those legs.”

Man, I liked this dominant Bucky.

He noticed my staring, suddenly realizing the reason for my fascination, but instead of apologizing, he just smirked. “I’ve been dying to taste that pussy,” was his admission, and suddenly there was no more air in my lungs. Steve’s chuckle right by my ear made me realize that they both could see right through me, and so I surrendered, opening my legs and exposing just how wet this situation had made me. 

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten pussy?” I blurted out, honestly curious and so fucking horny I couldn’t even find it in myself to be embarrassed. I was expecting a few laughs, but to my surprise, the response I got was a very serious, “For how much I enjoyed it, too fucking long. Come here.”

Once again, he didn’t give me a chance to obey him, instead pulling me even further down so his face was just inches away from my glistening cunt, and the feeling of his hot breath over it had me panting in anticipation.

But of course, I should have known that Bucky Barnes would be a fucking tease. 

“You smell so sweet,” he murmured against the soft skin on the inside of my thighs, where he kissed and licked and sucked while Steve deposited sweet, wet kisses over my chest before finally wrapping his beautiful lips on one of my nipples.

“Ste-Steve…” I moaned, buring my fingers on his locks so I could pull them while chasing away his teeth when he released one of my breasts in search of the other. “Fuck, then why are you teasing me so much?” I asked Bucky, trying to get him to come closer to where I was dripping for him, but he only looked up at me with those mischievous fucking eyes.

“It’s called building anticipation, darling.” 

I honestly didn’t care for it.

“If you touch me right fucking now, I’ll let you do anything to me. Both of you.” That caught their attention. I watched Bucky lift his head to meet his husband’s gaze, another silent conversation between them before his eyes returned to me.

“Anything?” he confirmed, and my body shuddered in expectation.

“Anything.” He didn’t hesitate any longer after that, immediately diving in to taste my pussy with a hunger I had never witnessed in any of my past lovers. Or even in porn, actually. He moaned at the first taste of my wetness, and my thighs already trembled from the reverberations of that simple sound.

“So sweet,” he whispered, and then he was lapping me eagerly, and my moans were echoing around their bedroom before Steve pulled me to kiss him again. He liked to make out, I realized, starting to file my little discoveries for future reference.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

Fuck. I’d always liked to eat a girl out, I could remember that, but I swear, no one had ever tasted as good as the beauty I had sprawled out in front of me. Dipping my tongue in her hole one more, I hummed before lifting it to play with her little nub before repeating the process, making sure to nudge her clit with my nose when I was fucking her with my tongue.

A symphony of moans reached my ears, male and female intertwined, prompting me to open my eyes and trail them up Y/N’s body to find her and Steve kissing deeply. The sight made my heart grow twice its size, and I smiled against her cunt as I watched them make out while Steve slowly teased his own cock.

Of course, Y/N wouldn’t have it. Oh, no. The second she realized where his hand was, she wrapped hers over it, assuming the control over his movements until he allowed her to do as she pleased, letting his hand fall back on the bed.

“Actually, you know what?” She suddenly asked, sitting up before waving me off of her. I was about to complain, not ready to separate myself from her taste just yet, but that was until she flipped around and crawled between my husband’s legs, wrapping her hand on his boner before taking it into her mouth.

I was so completely taken away by how hot the whole image was - her on all fours, Steve with his head thrown back as the slurping sounds of her sloppy blowjob surrounded us - that I almost missed the fact that she was shaking her fantastic ass at me, presenting her pussy for me to feast upon again.

Guess I was doing something right, then. I buried my face in her cunt again, licking her from behind and rejoicing in this opportunity that I dreamed about for so long. I couldn’t even remember how many times both Steve and I had made each other cum just talking about what we would do if we ever got the chance to have her in bed with us, and now here we all were. Together.

Trailing my fingers up her thighs, I finally pushed two of them inside, swirling them around in an effort to find her sweet spot. I didn’t manage to locate it that easily, but I figured, we had time. For now, I had other plans in mind.

I collected some of her wetness with two of my fingers before raising them to circle her puckered hole, and she moaned in response to the new touch. Good. I wanted her to desire this as much as we did.

I slowly pushed a single finger in her ass, relishing in the way she thrust back against it, crying out around Steve’s cock. “That’s a good girl, taking my finger so easily inside this pretty little ass.” I had to slap one of her cheeks, I itched to see it bounce. She continued to move against my finger, so I figured it was safe to do the same.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The second I felt Bucky’s finger inside my ass, I knew what the last silent conversation between him and the man whose cock was currently between my lips was about. And I couldn’t wait for it.

“Bucky, please…” I released Steve’s beautiful cock momentarily, too overcome with desire to be able to suck on it properly. “Please, give me another.” Abruptly, his lips left mine, and I looked over my shoulder to find him staring at me with wide eyes.“Oh, fuck, I wanna hear you moan my name again.”

“Put another finger in my ass and I will.” He didn’t wait another minute before doing just so, and I fucking cried out at the feeling of being stretched open, already yearning for the feeling of one of their cocks replacing Bucky’s fingers.

“Fuck, Y/N, I had no idea you were so into this. I love the way you look with my fingers deep inside your ass.” Fucking hell, Bucky’s mouth was just sinful. And he got his wish, because as I fucked myself back into his fingers, all I could say were versions of his name, under Steve’s watchful gaze. His cock throbbed in his fist, and that’s when I took it upon myself to stop Bucky’s actions.

“Okay, okay. Fuck, I need you inside of me right now. Both of you.” Steve reached out to pull me over his lap, so I was straddling him, and I took the opportunity to once again substitute his hand with mine, lightly jerking him off as I heard Bucky look around for some lube.

“Are you sure you can take us?” I cocked an eyebrow at the blond man underneath me, a true work of art. I wanted to play it off as irritated, but I could only find giddiness inside of me over everything that was happening, so I leaned down and captured his lips with mine, releasing his cock to rub myself against it.

“Just get inside of me, will ya?” I rubbed the mushroom head against my clit before slowly sinking down on him, biting my lip at the beautiful moan Steve released upon feeling my walls clamping on him. And then I braced myself for Bucky’s cock.

Ironically enough, as I gasped from the feeling of being so amazingly filled, they both hissed, four hands pressing down on me in a clear sign that they were already dangerously close to coming. I inhaled sharply, taking sick pleasure on the burn of being so stretched out as I waited for them to start moving. And when they did, I simply let myself go, allowing them to use my body as they thought best.

“Fuck, darling, do you know how fucking great it fells to be inside of you?” Steve asked, his hands cradling my face to pull me into another breathtaking kiss. “You’ve been teasing us like hell all those years, we were going crazy.”

Steve’s P.O.V.

“He’s right, baby girl.” Bucky couldn’t take his eyes away from mine as he continued, “Do you know how many times I fucked Steve in this very bed, pretending you were here too?” The sounds that were escaping her were better than any music, and it was getting harder and harder to focus on not bursting inside of her tight, wet pussy.

Both Bucky and I had been wanting her for so long, the need to worship every inch of her body was strong inside of us, but hopefully, we’d have other opportunities to take our time. For now, I knew we needed her to cum, and soon.

I pressed her clit as Bucky’s hands went to graze her nipples before harshly pulling on them, and she sobbed as her hands covered ours. “Please don’t stop, please.” Fuck. Hearing her beg was torture, but the sweetest one possible.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Cum around our cocks like a good girl. Don’t you want to be our good girl?” The fact that those words were the ones who did it for her brought us excitement like nothing else. So much so that when she finally relaxed, falling against my chest, it only took a little incentive for us to meet our highs, too.

“Do you like that, doll? Do you like the idea of being ours? Our sweet, pretty girl?” Bucky was brushing her hair away from her face so we could get a better look of her, but all we got was another sob as she trembled in my arms. 

“Please be ours, sweetheart,” I urged, holding her face so she’d look me in the eyes. “Say you’ll be ours.”

“Fuck, yes, I’m yours, I’m yours.” As both of our cocks twitched inside of her, an explosion of wetness started to drip on the duvet underneath our bodies, all the while Y/N’s body kept trembling.

“Did you just… squirt?” My husband’s face was priceless, and I didn’t need to look down to know that his cock still hadn’t softened, despite the strengths of our orgasms.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me,” she yawned, adjusting her head on my chest, my cock still throbbing inside of her warm heaven. “Classes start in twenty minutes. The professor just needs a quick nap for now.”

➡ click here to read about the progression of their relationship

#my fics #kinktober #kinktober 2020 #steve rogers smut #smut #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers #bucky barnes #avengers smut #marvel smut #steve rogers reader #bucky barnes reader #steve rogers fics #steve rogers fic #bucky barnes fics #bucky barnes fic

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥

Hi everyone! As promised, here’s one of the two most voted fic continuations. There will be more chapters to this story though I'm not sure how many yet. Thank you for reading!

warnings: sugar daddy jae, mentions of injuries and hospitals, language.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv

Sugar rush m.list.

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

Where did everything go wrong?

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy from not using it. There was no one to talk to in the quiet, hospital room but the nurses, who weren't especially keen on chatting.

“How’s your dad, sweetie?”

“They let him out of ICU, but he doesn't look good to me.” Your fingers traced the cuts in his chiseled cheeks that would soon turn into scars, ruining his perfect skin. Your eyes then diverted to his head, thoroughly covered in bandages to protect his damaged skull.

“Honey, I've got bad news...”

“They rejected the case, didn't they?”

“Not precisely.” She deeply inhaled before continuing. “It’s a tough case, almost impossible to win, nonetheless, they're willing to take it. But their fee is a little...”

“Expensive.”

“Yes.”

As expected from the best firm in town, they wouldn't take less than $8,000. Your bank account didn't have enough money to even cover half of it, and with your job at the convenience store, you'd only earn so much to cover your expenses.

“We can take the lawyer that the government provides us with, it would be free.”

“But then I'm sure we’d lose.” You groaned in frustration, using your free hand to rub your forehead. “Don’t worry, I'll find a way to get the money.”

“Why don't we just accept the compensation they're offering? It could pay for the hospital bills and you'd still have some left to pay for your tuition.”

“That would be like putting a price on my father's life. I don't want their money, I want them to make themselves responsible for what they've caused.” The sound of wheels approached the door of your father's room, signaling the nurse was outside with his meds. “It’s okay, Auntie, I'll take care of everything. You can go back home, I know my uncle isn't doing so well.”

“Are you sure, darling?” It was undeniable that she wanted to head back to her little ranch fat away from the hectic city life to take care of her sick husband, but still, her brother was laying down on a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

“Yes, I'm an adult, I'll find a way.”

“Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to call me if you're having any difficulties. I'll be there in the blink of an eye.” She said before sending a kiss into the speaker, proceeding to hang up.

You sighed. It was never usual for you to ask for help, as you were an extremely prideful and independent person, and you doubted this time would be different.

“Don’t worry, dad. Everything will be alright.”

Three failed job interviews and one more to go. Your feet were killing you, the high heels covering them already worn out from walking to avoid taking the bus. Every penny counted, and as long as your legs worked, you weren't spending any more money than what was necessary.

You sat down in the waiting room of the company, massaging your neck to relieve some tension. College was becoming a burden. Maybe you'd take a semester off to focus on working, that is if someone wanted to hire an inexperienced student.

“Y/n, Y/l/n?”

“Here.” You darted up, gathering your belongings to enter the room on which your life almost literally depended.

You gave all the right answers, earning a polite ‘we’ll contact you’ in return. But you could see that they weren't convinced with your lack of experience, no company in their right mind would be.

As soon as you arrived at your apartment, you slid out of the uncomfortable pencil skirt, tucking yourself under the covers with your phone screen almost hitting your nose.

To take your mind off things, you decided to watch some videos. Halfway in, an ad popped up, interrupting the interior deco video you were watching.

A picture of a girl about your age hugging an older man was right in the middle of your screen. Written with fancy letters, the words ‘make your life simpler’ could be read, followed by what you guessed was the title of the app. Sugar rush.

Out of pure curiosity, your finger tapped at the small icon that led to the app store, absentmindedly clicking the download button. A few seconds later, an icon with the letters ‘SR’ was added to your home screen.

“Log in?” You murmured out loud, squinting your eyes to adjust your eyes to the bright, white homepage.

Just as you were about to click out, the phrase from the ad reappeared, stopping your finger from moving any further.

You could always delete your account if something went wrong, right? Nonetheless, you decided to use a false name, and that's how Melanie Kim’s profile was created. You left the circle of your profile picture empty for now, only filling the spaces that asked about your likes, dislikes, age, and all that stuff that people care about so much.

You knew what the app was for, but that didn't stop you from being surprised when a list of men and women of different ages greeted you. Right then, a small rectangle obstructed your sight, two buttons offering opposite things.

‘Pick the role you'd like to develop.’

Sugar daddy/mommy / Sugar baby.

Clearly, you didn’t have nor the money or the years to be the first, so you clicked the opposite button without giving it more thought.

‘Welcome. You've been registered as a sugar baby at Sugar rush. Meet thousands of men and women willing to finance you for free!’

You hummed.

‘As we're always looking to make our users’ experience better, we've developed Sugar Rush premium, a membership to meet the richest and hottest people in your surroundings. Get the premium version for only $5.95 a month. Click here to get Sugar Rush premium.’

Your finger pad was dangerously close to the blue button, almost grazing the screen of the phone. It was then when you were pulled out of your trance, blinking as if just then you'd realized what you were doing.

“I must be crazy.” You turned off your phone, not bothering to turn on an alarm for the next day. You had no interviews left. You had nowhere to go.

Waking up was getting harder with every passing day. Not being able to call your dad to go out for breakfast or even sending a simple good morning message hurt you deeply. You missed him. But seeing him laying down on a hospital bed, unable to do anything by himself, was even worse.

Ding

A notification filled the silence in your room.

‘Come back, you haven't finished setting up your account yet!’

You scoffed at your past self. What were you even thinking when you downloaded the app?

You simply turned off the phone before standing up to take a relaxing shower. As the water soaked up your tense body, your mind started wandering off back to the app. A million what-ifs filled your head, nonetheless, there was one that remained the most persistent.

‘What if this can pay for a lawyer?’

Your part-time job surely couldn't, and you had no one to assist you financially speaking. The whole idea of paying that ridiculous membership seemed more tempting as your fingers started getting wrinkly under the showerhead.

You decided to take some time to consider it, after all, you still had a week to give the lawyers an answer.

Hot soup seemed like a good option to comfort you, and thankfully, there was a store right in front of your place that claimed to sell the best soups in town.

It wasn't bad, but not nearly as good as the one your dad cooked when you were a kid. You sighed, wondering if you'd ever be able to eat it again. Just then, a woman about your age came into the shop, carrying a couple of bags where names of popular brands could be read. A pinch of jealousy made your heart stir as you glanced at yourself through the reflection in the glass at your side. You looked devastated, your skin pale and your cheekbones slightly sunken, a sign of the lack of rest and food you'd been getting.

Out of pure impulse, you pulled out your phone, clicked on the app you'd recently downloaded, and finally accepted the charges for a premium membership.

‘Welcome, new member of our wide community, click ok to get started!’

Well, no turning back now.

Right after pressing the blue letters with your thumb, you were presented with a list of potential prospects, some of them including pictures, some of them only including name and a brief description of what they were looking for. The minority included their ages, but most left the space blank.

A bunch of old men looking for a youthful, pretty woman to be by their sides, some of them even went as far as writing the weight and height their ideal partner should have. Of course, there were also some women in the look for young meat, but the number of men overpassed them.

About to exit the app in defeat, a profile caught your eye. His pale pink hair was parted, allowing his thick eyebrows to stand out. His high cheekbones made him look like a statue, the details in his face almost too perfect for a mere human. He must be the incarnation of a Greek God, you thought.

‘Jung Yoonoh. 41 years old. Owner of N & C.’

“Should I...?” You asked yourself in a voice lower than a whisper.

He has probably gotten hundreds of messages, so what would be the point of sending one yourself? Your eyes scanned the picture over and over again as the remains of your soup started getting cold.

He was probably the only acceptable man in the whole app, so why not give it a try?

You already spent five whole dollars on it, might as well make it worth the money.

‘Hi.’ Sent.

“Holy crap.” You breathed out, regretting every single action that led you to take such a stupid decision. “Ah!” You squeaked as three small dots appeared beside his profile picture, signaling he was writing a reply.

What if he rejected you right from the beginning? God, that would be so humiliating. His message stopped your train of thought.

‘Hi!’

Followed by:

‘How are you?’

Sweating like a pig, thank you for asking.

‘Fine. You?’ Read.

‘Thrilled. No one had messaged me since I created my account two weeks ago.’

‘How is that possible?’ You imprinted your thoughts on a message.

‘It’s hard to trust people nowadays. I guess people might think either my picture is photoshopped or I'm lying about my job.’

‘Their loss, ig.’ Read.

He was taking some time to answer. Had you said something inappropriate?

‘Hahaha.’

The conversation stopped there, as you didn't know how exactly to answer his message. But a few minutes later, another text from him popped up at your chat.

‘If you're okay with it, we can start talking about a possible arrangement.’

Already? You've known each other for like five minutes. But then again, arrangements were the whole purpose of the app.

‘Sure.’

‘May I ask your reasons for joining the app?’

‘I need urgent money, but my job doesn't pay nearly enough.’ You omitted the part of your agonizing father, he didn't need to know that. ‘And you?’

‘I need someone to be my partner at public spaces.’

‘Alright.’ Read.

‘Do you happen to have some free time tomorrow at lunchtime? I think it’d be better to meet first before making any decisions.’

‘Yeah, I'm free.’

‘Great, I’ll send you the address.’

You thought a day would be enough to prepare yourself, but time passed by quicker than usual, and soon enough, it was time to get ready for your meeting with Mr. Jung. He was only a few years younger than your father, and calling him by his first name wouldn't feel right.

Unsure if you should wear something formal, you threw on a beige (the color you'd agreed on wearing so it’d be easier to recognize each other) summer dress, pairing it with the gold hoops you'd inherited from your grandma to make it look more elegant.

The hardest part of your routine was makeup. Your sunken cheeks couldn't be covered, and only after a few layers of blush and highlighter, you could bring your skin back to life.

On your way to the cafe, you went through the things you'd say when you met him. It was your chance to get your father what he needed.

You stood at the entrance with wide, scared eyes, shyly scanning through the place to look for your date.

“Melanie?” A hand on your shoulder had you jolting. “I’m Jung Yoonoh, nice to meet you.”

What you saw after turning around was breathtaking. A handsome, healthy man, with the most beautiful pair of dimples.

“Nice to meet you.” You managed to blurt out without stuttering, extending your hand to make the greeting more formal. The fake name didn’t seem necessary anymore. “It’s actually y/n, I didn't want to use my real name.”

“I understand. Let’s take a seat.” He offered with a kind smile.

He left you seating at the terrace while he made your order, a latte, and a chocolate cookie. Your fingers played with your hoops anxiously, trying to regulate your breath.

“They’ll bring our food in just a sec.” He offered a warm smile. “Your dress is pretty.” Yoonoh said out of nowhere.

“Thank you.”

“I see you're not a chatty person.” You were about to object, but he started speaking again. “It's not a bad thing! I usually talk a lot, so it’s a nice way to balance things.”

You nodded, seemingly uncomfortable with the man sitting in front of you.

“So, uhm, this is my first time doing this, so I'm not really sure where to begin.” He pulled out a folded paper from the front pocket of his dressing pants. “It’s a bit creased, but I can always print another one. I brought it so you could take a look and let me know if you wanted to change anything. I don't mean to pressure you, but you said it was urgent, so...”

You read the paper under his attentive gaze, making sure not to miss a single word. Everything seemed correct, except...

“Six months?”

“Is that too much?” A small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, a sign of deep concentration. “Okay, so let's do this instead.”

He took back the contract, pulling out a pen from the pocket in his dressing shirt to correct the original stipulations.

“Four months, and if by the end of them you don't absolutely hate me, we can extend the time. Deal?”

“Just one more thing.”

You cleared your throat, conscious that your following words might jeopardize the whole arrangement.

“Are you sure you want to make it official already?” You had to stop for a moment as the waiter left your orders on top of the wooden table. “I mean, it's not that I have a problem with it, but it's your money and maybe you'd like to give it a better thought.” You resumed.

“The fact that you're concerned about me proves I'm making the right choice. Now, tell me, how much would you like to receive as a weekly allowance?”

Would it be too reckless to ask him straight up for the $8,000?

“H-how much are you willing to give me?” You felt dirty, accepting a stranger’s money like that.

“Whatever you need.” His hand suddenly reached forward to yours, causing every ounce of blood in your body to rush to your face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, I'm here to help you.” His voice tone dropped, acquiring an almost soothing feeling.

“I need eight thousand by Thursday, next week.” His eyes were wide open, mouth having difficulties remaining closed. “I-I know it's too much, but...”

“I can find a way to give you that money, but I'd like to know the reason why you need it. Just to make sure it's nothing illegal.”

You puffed your cheeks, trying to find an excuse good enough to justify the amount of money you were asking for.

“It isn’t illegal, is it?”

“No!” You retrieved your hand from below his, now embarrassed at the possibility of him having a bad image of you. “I need it for my father.”

“I suppose you don't want to talk about it.” He started at his palm, lips pressed in a thin life. “But when it comes to arrangements like this, we need to trust each other, alright?” You barely knew each other, yet, he demanded to know a very personal detail of your life. Not that he didn't have a good reason for wanting to know, it wasn't a particularly small amount of money.

“He had an accident at work...” You started, fearful of looking up to find pity in his eyes. “I need a lawyer to make his company legally responsible. They intend to throw it under the rug and pay a somewhat decent amount of money to make it go away. The firm I intend to hire is supposedly the best in town, probably my only chance of getting justice.”

“And why don't you just accept it? There's no guarantee that your lawyer will win the case.” You fisted the delicate fabric of your dress, eyes watering as you tried to hold back your anger.

“My father’s life is priceless, and if you think what I'm doing is a waste of money, then fine, we can both look for someone else to help us.” It sounded more aggressive than you'd first intended, but you meant every word that came out of your mouth.

Before you could even stand up, his slim fingers had already wrapped themselves around your wrist.

“I never said that.” He whispered with an almost sad tone. “Come on, sit down.”

He tugged at your arm the slightest, showing off his charming dimples once again.

“I’ll give you the money on one condition...” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “I’ll go with you to see the lawyer.”

“Why...?”

“That’s my condition, take it or leave it.”

“Okay.”

The days before your meeting with your potential lawyer were nerve-wracking. You'd seen Yoonoh another time to sign the contract, which finally made your arrangement official.

You’d visit your father every day, always hoping he'd be sitting with his arms wide open, ready to hug you. But nothing had changed ever since he first came into that room.

“I’m here to see Mr. Kim.” The secretary's gaze lingered on Jaehyun a few seconds before he finally snapped out of it. “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Just a second.” He opened his agenda and quickly found your appointment. With a warm smile, he guided you through the corridors of the building, all the way to the elevator. “It’s the only office on the last floor, I'll be at my desk if you need anything.”

Once again, he shot Jae an uneasy glance before the metal doors slid close.

“What was all that?” To be honest, you couldn't care less. But a small chat might calm your nerves and prevent you from throwing up all over the place.

“What do you mean?” He grinned, pressing the button to the top floor.

“You know what I mean.” You scoffed, annoyed at his evasive behavior.

“We just happen to know each other, nothing special.” Before the conversation could continue, a loud ding resonated through the metal cubicle. “Let’s go.” His hand found its place at the small of your back, pushing you towards the glass door. Through it, you could see a black-haired man reading a pile of documents, occasionally raising a photo to examine it with his gold-rimmed glasses supported at the bridge of his elegant nose.

Jaehyun extended his arm over your shoulder to knock on the door, earning an almost annoyed ‘come in’ from the man inside.

“Let’s go.” Once again invading your personal space, he reached for the doorknob with you trapped between his arms.

As soon as the door opened, the man raised his eyes from the documents he was checking.

“What are you doing here, Jung?”

“I knew something was off...” You murmured, loud enough for the man at your side to chuckle.

“I brought you a client, you should be happy.”

“Miss y/n, I suppose. Have a seat.” His demeanor completely changed while speaking directly to you. “I spoke with your aunt last week, she explained the details of the lawsuit, but I must say, it isn't an easy case.”

“I know that, but I've been told you're the best firm in town, I know I'll have more possibilities of winning if you're my lawyer.”

“Best firm in town my ass.”

“Be silent or I’ll kick you out of the building.”

That was enough for Yoonoh to zip his mouth. For a while at least.

“I suppose she also told you about our fee.” He pushed his glasses up using his thumb. “We’d also keep 25% of the lawsuit money assuming we win the case, is that okay with you?”

“Yes-”

“Okay, stop.”

“I’ll call security, Jung.”

“Look at me, y/n.” He squeezed your arms. “This clown is trying to scam you...” He pointed his finger at the lawyer without breaking eye contact. “You’d be spending loads of money for someone who isn't even confident in his abilities. It isn't worth it.”

“And I suppose you'd do better than me, then.” The black-haired man scoffed. “If that's the case, then you can both leave. I'm quite busy at the moment.” With a turn of his wrist, he signaled you to leave the room.

You were fuming, stomping out of the building with Jaehyun right behind you.

“I found a great restaurant nearby, we can go there and-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down when you just fucked up my only chance to give those bastards what they deserve.” The sun was starting to set, yellow light casting shadows over his tender cheeks.

“Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Are you laughing right now?” You bit your lip, hard, trying to hold back the tsunami of tears threatening to come out of your eyes. “Asshole.”

“Ouch.” He furrowed his eyebrows mockingly. Oh, how close you were to punch that pretty face of his. “Can I explain now?”

You remained silent, staring at the ground with the smallest frown between your eyebrows.

“How do you think I know Kim Doyoung?” Before even giving you a chance to answer, he continued. “That son of a bitch has been stealing my clients for ages.”

“Your clients...?”

“He isn't even that good of a lawyer compared to me.” He scoffed with fake arrogance.

“You're a lawyer?!” You slammed your palms into your face, whining at the newly acquired information. “Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?”

“Just wanted to swing by and annoy him a bit. Don't worry, I wasn't gonna let you accept his deal.” He winked playfully.

The sun was now hidden, the sky darkening as the moon rose to take its shift.

“Though I gotta say, I'm kinda offended I wasn't even an option. I'm a pretty great lawyer, you know?”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you if you join me for dinner. What do you say?”

As you walked into the darkness of the streets, his shoulder occasionally bumping yours, you wondered if meeting him was a casualty. Maybe the world was finally smiling at you.

#nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun

[yostresswritinggirl]

Alatus' Weakness

Even the strongest, mightiest men carry with them their ultimate weakness. And when it is under the wrong hands, their power won't be enough to prevent them from crumbling... What is it? What was it that the Evil God took hold of that forced him to serve his evil deeds for years?

Pairings -> Alatus x Reader (Xiao)

Word Count -> 1350

Themes -> You won't find happiness here.

Series -> #SojournerSpecials (600 Followers Event)

Warnings -> This is punishment for Xiao forcing me to whale for him. As well as the Oceanid anons. (EDIT: THIS HAS MADE PEOPLE CRY, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

The Yaksha of the wind dances in fluid whirlwinds as the breeze makes its rounds over the plains, his lightness barely wrinkles the green grass underneath his uncovered feet as the robes he dons flutters behind him.

It was so beautiful, he looked so ethereal.

And when his spear finally settles in a sharp swing, the force manifests into harmless gusts that sweeps the pasture for a second before straightening up again. Alatus had always been an agile dancer. And everyone in the village knows of this.

He offers a slight bow and a smile upon your loud clapping, so giddy of the exclusive performance that you were lucky to witness. It was a treasure that every local wishes to see beyond the battles he fights. Men and women alike yet out of them all it was you who was graced with this blessing.

"Beautiful as always, Alatus!" Your wide smile was infectious and his grin grows the closer he comes to you, arms finding its way around your waist and across your back in a soft hug. The giddiness continues as you turned into a giggly mess from his special affection, reciprocating with a tackle of a hug.

"Did you miss me that much?" He was answered by wordless nuzzles to his chest, making him chuckle and pull you closer.

Alatus was a great and powerful spear dancer, and he had been protecting the village you two reside in ever since. Gods and beings trekked the world commonly and it was too dangerous even for stationary communities. More so for those who lack the Vision to fight in the first place.

He was one, if not the only one capable enough to protect everyone. And many times he would go beyond the parameter to exterminate threats before they became an issue. Most of the time he disappears for a while during this expedition and then return triumphant as the village people greet him and praise him for his hardwork.

But at the end of the day, he settles down in your quiet home where he engulfs you protectively in his arms. There you two would exchange your tales during the span of his expedition, and he would indulge you in a showcase of his dances as compensation for his absence. The highlight of your day.

"There seems to be higher activity in the surrounding territories regarding monsters and Gods," he introduces the topic as he picks up the nian gao with wooden chopsticks, munching the soft treat as you poured a cup of tea to match the snack. "The other villages are asking me to patrol their parameters for a few days to at least clear some of them."

"There's been disturbances around here too," you worriedly chewed at your own snack as you two sat by the veranda of your home, watching the whole of the village from your spot over the cliff. This must be one of the reasons he liked staying here too, an easy access and overseer to the whole area for his duties.

Alatus hums in agreement but continues eating. The way he chews his meal was a telltale sign that there's a worry gnawing at the back of his head. And you had the same worry, except much lighter than his.

The growing tension between the Gods of Teyvat spurs on more turmoil at the news of Celestia's sudden challenge over the archons. And with such offers and desperation, powerless humans and villages had been wiped recently courtesy of the war.

It was a matter that didn't really bother him nor the village, but somehow it came back to him tenfold in multitudes of worry. He has a gut feeling. But Alatus cannot make himself turn away from the pleas of the people that call his name for saving grace.

"Come home soon," your smile snapped him back to reality upon knowing that he wouldn't just leave the other villages behind.

Yet when he left, there was still a gnawing anxiety at the bottom of his stomach.

Alatus for once... had lost his grace for in his hand his spear shakes in unspeakable fear. In front of him beyond the cliff's edge is the blazing ruins of a village he protected for years, day and night diligently. Monsters and men ravaged what's left and he tries to push away the guilt of ignoring them when he rushed immediately to his home.

To where his home should be.

"Alatus," the towering figure turned around to face him and his pupils dilated at the image, muscles flexing to dash when its hand raises in a motion to stop him, tutting mockingly at the warning. "Ah, ah, you wouldn't want them to die like this, would you?"

The being of pure evil had your unconscious form in its arms, a fight evident on your bruised and cut form as blood trickles from your forehead to the earth beneath. And on your head, the source of the wound, is a crown of thorns. He fights the urge to cry and vomit at the state you were in, at the state he could have prevented if he'd just STAYED.

"Please," his broken voice ghosted a smile on the God's face, "Please leave them alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Alatus' heart sinks at the refusal with his gaze unfocusing at the difference in power. "After all, they're the one I wanted in the first place, everyone else is just collateral damage."

From that point forward, to preserve the little life force you have, Alatus was under the grasp of the evil god. Under his command he razes the villages he once protected, eating the dreams of the humans that only wish to live in peace. His hands of grace grips his spear with the stains of blood as he kneels in front of the evil God, its name he didn't bother to remember anymore at this point.

It smirks at him while over its hand floats a cube only a few inches bigger. Your cell, where you're cooped up with only a glow of deep blue indicating your existence within it. When he misbehaves he hears cries of agony from it, when he does very satisfactory he even gets to hold it but only that.

The years of painful service had wiped off his smile and most of his memories. Alatus had already forgotten your voice and your face at this point, only the humans and beings he had killed comes to his memories.

Soon after, he has only known the cube to hold something dear to him, a weakness that is a precious one he could not risk. When he tries to remember, he's reminded of a vague visage and a sweet taste on his tongue. If he could cry now he would. It was one of the only good things in his mind now even tho its details continue to ebb away with his horrific deeds.

And finally, like a light that shines through the canopy of the overhead trees, a being mighty enough to contend his evil master comes down to end his suffering.

Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon, the one the evil god desperately tries to overthrow died in his hands.

It is done, all of it. No more innocent blood should stain his hands. "The cube this god possessed is a cell." What should he do now? There was no other place to come back to, maybe the You that resides in the cube had any ideas, to start over. That sounds like a good idea.

"Alatus, was it?" His head slowly picks up from the blank stare it had on the ground.

"Yes, Rex Lapis?"

"Do you know of the one who resides within this cube?" There was a hesitance in Rex Lapis' voice that passed through him.

"They are someone that I know."

"It seems... that human... has perished 200 years ago in this cell."

Alatus, like that last day in a ruined village, had lost his grace when he collapses to the ground. His weakness and his hope both gone.

Seems to me my writing has been short lately

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @kookieyachi @struggljng @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader

#genshin impact #Xiao #genshin impact x reader #Xiao x reader #exile.flower #sojourner specials #Angst #gender neutral #for the first time I am sorry #genshin impact oneshot #welcome home Xiao :))

[shokobuns]

“see”

in which you warm up to your stepdad while your mom’s not home.

prequel to feel.

pairing: stepdad!sukuna ryomen x reader

genre: smut, taboo

word count: 1.4k 

warnings: smut, parental stepcest, mutual masturbation (f/m), taboo, daddy kink, scenes (sex, overstim, size kink), slight mommy issues (only if you squint tho)

“behave while i’m gone, i gotta get something at the store.” she says sternly.

you nod, putting the last of your plates on the rack before turning on the dishwasher. “is sukuna coming with you?”

“no,” she replies, scrolling through her phone before slipping it in her purse, “he’s taking a nap right now. you better leave him alone.”

“i will.”

“alright. i’m not planning on leaving him any time soon. you need to warm up to him somehow, darling.”

after you hear the click that signified she was out, you groan exasperatedly.

sukuna.

he’s the only thing your mom had paid all her attention to these past few months. you want to be happy for her, you really do, but it almost feels impossible and you can’t pinpoint the exact reason why. you don’t know what it is about the man. the cocky expression on his face that never falters, his tanned skin clad in tattoos, his piercing gaze that always radiates an aura dominance, it all made you feel uneasy.

of course, your mom would notice. it wasn’t uncommon for you to keep your interactions with him short and limited despite the fact he had been living with you for months. it wasn’t uncommon for you to retire to your room once he came home from work. and for your mom, it was all translated to one thing; you simply just did not like him. at all.

if only it was that simple.

you truly wish it was that simple because you’ve been repulsed by people before. hell, you’ve disliked tons of people and still continue to do so. you know the uneasiness that hits you whenever you’re near them. you know how hard your teeth clench, how your chest burns, how your eyes roll to the back of your head at the sound of their voice.

but that wasn’t it. this uneasiness came with fast heartbeats, fluttering feelings in your stomach, and flushed cheeks. this uneasiness came with the inability to form sentences, unconscious stares, and invaded thoughts. this uneasiness came with imagination, slight jealousy, and damp underwear.

so, no. it wasn’t that simple and it would never ever be that simple. you don’t know who you should feel sorry for. maybe your mother. your dear, flawed mother who decided that you needed a father figure after eighteen years of its absence. maybe sukuna, who probably was just looking for a wife or some fun, not a family. maybe yourself, your own clouded mind betraying you with sinful lust.

nonetheless, here you are.

here you are, chores done, bedroom door wide open, pulling your shorts down and throwing them off somewhere on your bed. he’s in the master bedroom right across from yours in the hallway, sleeping soundly. you can just barely make out the little snores leaving his mouth which is enough just for you.

you can’t help but admire him while he’s in this peaceful state. he’s handsome with structured cheeks, black ink that adorns most of his skin, and big hands that can completely cover yours in his fist with ease.

your panties are damp, sticking to your wet cunt. they become more and more ruined the more you think about him and you sigh. it happens every time. it starts with a thought, some kind of seed that sows in your head, and your mind elevates it until the thought progresses to something dirty, something shameful, something that is so wrong.

you should be happy for your mom.

it all goes out the window when you think about the large hand that steadies your waist every time you almost fall, one with a tight grip that brings back that fluttering feeling in your stomach. more black ink that compliments the veins running through them and silver rings that decorate his fingers. you’re sure, positive, that they’re thicker than your own, able to reach deeper than you ever could by yourself.

your hand travels down to your clit, rubbing slow circles on the small bud as you sigh in relief at finally being able to touch yourself after weeks. you travel lower, your finger prodding at your hot core before slipping in until you’re knuckles deep. starting off with slow strokes, you build everything up until you’re ready for another finger. you squeeze your eyes shut, an image in your mind forming as it always does when you’re in this state.

and it’s sukuna.

it’s sukuna and his fingers that would fill you up nicely, stretching your hole to the point where the line of pain and pleasure is difficult to decipher. and he’s looking at you with that piercing gaze again, the one that demands control and submission. he’s pumping his fingers at a painstakingly slow pace and so are you. when you imagine him hitting that sweet spot, you curl your fingers.

your shirt is pulled up above your breasts, one hand massaging your tit as you get lost in your own pleasure. it all feels so good, the knot in your lower tummy forming and tensing while your pussy drools all over your sheets. you’re letting out involuntary squeaks, your senses being overcome by the impending wave of bliss.

a groan from the other room interrupts the scene in your head.

the sound causes you to freeze, eyes suddenly widening as you turn in its direction. there’s a smirk plastered on sukuna’s face as his eyes follow your figure intently. from what you can make out, it’s possible that he’s been awake for a while now. your heart pounds out of your chest, body shaking from the amount of guilt and embarrassment. does he know you were thinking about him? can he sense the lewd scene you’ve put together to get off?

a million thoughts race through your mind, but the most prominent one is louder than the rest; why was he looking at you like that?

he folds over the blanket, revealing an intimidating imprint that pokes through his boxers, all the while staring straight at you. your cunt still stuffed with your own sopping fingers and you take it as a silent demand to keep going.

you obey, something that any good girl would do.

“come on, princess,” he calls out from his room, his cock springing up to his stomach as he pulls down his underwear and it’s better than anything you’ve imagined. the pink tip drips with precum and like his fingers, he’s thick and long. he spits in his hand and you gawk at the sight, saliva spilling at the side of your parted lips and he returns with his usual cocky expression.

three fingers thrust into you, knuckles deep, while he pumps his pretty cock in his fist, eyes following your every aspect of your current position. you pinch your nipple, letting out a small mewl, while attacking the spongy spot that never fails to have you squirting all over your sheets.

but you wish it was his thick cock filling you up instead.

you know that if you ever got the chance to have him stuffing you full, it would ruin the sensation of your fingers. you know that your little digits would never be able to compensate for something that huge. and seeing him fuck his fist makes your walls convulse because you know that this isn’t one sided. any crumb of guilt that was there before is wiped from your mind.

the only thing you can think about is his cock splitting your little cunny in half, pounding into your cervix while you struggle to take his full length. he wouldn’t be gentle, you know that, but you’d prefer it that way. he would pin your knees to your chest, caging your body with his arms, balls slapping against the skin of your plush ass. he’d hit every spot that you couldn’t, driving into you ruthlessly. and it wouldn’t end there because he would want to ruin you. he’d want you cumming over and over again on his cock until you’re a ruined, babbling mess begging for him to stop.

“oh- oh fuck, daddy!” you breathe out between moans, feeling wet liquid coat your thighs as your walls clamp down on your fingers. he’s almost there with you, streams of sticky white spilling onto his stomach at the sound of your sweet voice. your back arches of the bed as you cream all over your fingers, panting exhaustedly while bringing them up to your mouth, sucking softly. he’s practically staring holes through your body, his cock twitching once again.

but your mom can be back anytime with the groceries. and he really needs to clean those sheets.

#sukuna ryomen smut #ryomen sukuna smut #tw.stepcest #sukuna smut #tw.masturbation #tw.smut #tw.size kink #tw.taboo #tw.mommy issues #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #tw.dark #🌟.dc!

[twstarchives]

Let Me Go!!

Card: Dorm Uniform - SSR Characters: Epel, Rook, Vil, Idia

Chapter 1

—INTERIOR HALLWAY—

Epel: Um... This is where the film studies club meets, right?

—CLASSROOM—

Epel: Excuse me...

Rook: Hello, Epel-kun! I see Vil asked you to lend a hand here.

Epel: I’d say it’s more like I was forced... Did he ask you too?

Rook: I’m helping on my own accord. The pleasure is all mine if I’m able to be with Vil.

(Clap, clap!)

Vil: Film studies club! Everyone gather around.

I’m going to discuss the details for when we begin our next student-produced film.

I’ll hand out the script first. Everyone, take one each.

Epel: Whoa, this script is so thick. They must really go all out with their activities here...

Vil: The next film we’re producing will be about time travel.

It’s set in the present day. The students of Night Raven College use a time machine...

And travel to the era of the Great Seven’s Fairest Queen of All.

Rook: The era of the Fairest Queen of All... How très bien!

What a fascinating idea, don’t you think, Epel-kun?

Epel: Hah... I guess.

Vil: The leading role is still undecided. I’ll let you know once I’ve chosen them.

Now, the time machine is the key item in this story... Epel!

Epel: ! Yes?!

Vil: I’m putting you in charge of designing it.

Epel: What?! I-I’m just the help. Why am I in charge of something so important...?

Vil: I’ve deemed you the most suitable for this.

Epel: (What gave him that idea?! I’ve never designed anything in my life. I want to say no...)

Vil: The time machine will use a magical wheel as a base. You’ll be customizing the exterior.

This way, we can shoot driving scenes.

Epel: You said magical wheel...?!

Vil: Yes. I’ve already arranged for one to use in our shooting.

I’ve asked Ignihyde’s dorm leader, Idia, to modify it, so you will work with him to complete it.

Epel: Got it!

Vil: ...You sounded very genuine there. Well, if you’re feeling motivated now, then that’s fine.

The theme of the time machine’s design should be “something beautiful and fitting for the setting.”

Your deadline is in three days at noon. Is that clear?

Epel: Yes, Vil-san!

(I was so reluctant about having to help out the film studies club... but I didn’t expect there to be a magical wheel involved!)

(That feeling of the passenger becoming one with the vehicle as they ride on... Just watchin’ it gets me all excited.)

(Maybe if I made a design that makes Vil-san’s jaw drop, he’d even let me take it for a test run.)

(Okay, I’m gonna do my best!!)

—IGNIHYDE DORM - LOUNGE—

Epel: I’m Epel, a first-year from Pomefiore. You’re Idia-san, right? Let’s work hard together.

Idia: Ugh... The glittery Pomefioran is here, hurray...

O-Oh, um... Vil-shi explained everything to me. We’ll use this lounge to work...

Epel: Okay, thank you.

Oh, that’s the magical wheel we’re going to modify there next to you, right? It’s so cool...!!

Idia: Hah... I only agreed to this ‘cause Vil-shi said he’d compensate me...

But working with other people... really makes me irritated by the second.

I need to finish this and go back to my room ASAP before my sanity gauge runs out.

Epel: (I know Vil-san’s taste pretty well since he’s been training me for months ever since I enrolled here.)

(I need to aim for a fancy design that goes with the setting and also satisfies Vil-san.)

Idia-san. Let’s do our best designing this magical wheel...!

Idia: Yeah. Let’s get this done as fast as we can...

Chapter 2

—IGNIHYDE DORM - LOUNGE—

Epel: It took all night... but it’s done! Idia-san, the coloring for the magical wheel is all finished.

Idia: Congrats on getting it done. You told Vil-shi you’d show it to him once it was finished, right? Shouldn’t you call him?

And end this so I can be alone.

Epel: Yes, I’ll go do that!

Epel: Here’s the magical wheel, painted to look like a time machine.

The design was inspired by the peacock engraved into the Fairest Queen of All’s favorite chair.

Vil: ......

Epel: Um... Vil-san?

Vil: Epel. Are you satisfied with this design?

Epel: What do you mean, am I satisfied...?

Vil: I ordered you to design something “beautiful and fitting for the setting.”

However, this piece conveys nothing from the creator’s heart.

You wouldn’t consider this design “beautiful,” would you?

Epel: ...! Well, I...

Vil: To me, this looks like you only tried to match the setting.

Redo it, Epel. And don’t think about coming back to the dorm until it’s finished.

Epel: What?! Vil-san, wait a seco— ...He’s gone.

...Dammit! How can he be angry that I made it exactly as he said...?!

But I get to work with a magical wheel, which I love so much. No way am I giving up after failing once!

I need to make something that I think is beautiful, that matches the setting,

And something that would make Vil-san satisfied, right?

I’m gonna do it!!

...... But what would that be...?

—IGNIHYDE DORM - IDIA’S ROOM—

Idia: Hehee! I got that kitty accessory I wanted! It’s a rare strength item that boosts my speed by 100!

Hehehe, now, the boss from this ultra-hard quest... You should tremble in fear of my dodging power.

(Running footsteps!)

        (Epel barges in)

Epel: Idia-san!

Idia: Eee! E-E-E-E-Epel-shi! It’s rude to come into someone’s room without knocking!

Epel: Oh... S-Sorry.

It’s just, we have to redo the time machine...

Idia: Hah? He rejected that flashy design?

Epel: Yeah... So please help me make it over again!

Idia: (I can’t believe Vil-shi. He should’ve done this himself if he was going for something specific. Why’d he leave it to someone else?)

(I can’t stand them taking away my gaming time anymore. I gotta get this done now and chase out Epel-shi...)

H-Hey, Epel-shi. Do you have anything you’re good at?

Epel: Huh? Why are you asking?

Idia: ‘Cause wouldn’t this get done faster if Vil-shi just made it himself instead of having you make it over again?

But he still put you up to it... So shouldn’t you consider that maybe you’ve got some kind of secret talent?

In online games, leveling up skills you’re good at makes getting through the game easier.

Epel: But I’m just good at things like carving apples. I can’t really use that in desig——

(...Hm? Apples...?)

I figured it out!!

Idia: Ee! I-I-It scares me when you yell out of nowhere! Wh-What did you figure out?

Epel: I figured out what I can make that’s as beautiful and fitting for the setting as I can!

Idia: I-I’m glad to see you came up with an idea. Well, let’s get on with it then.

Epel: Huh? But you stayed up all night last night. Are you sure you shouldn’t rest a little...?

Idia: Heh, staying up all night is nothing to me. I stan a group of idols who look elderly but with hearts eternally 17...

And even Moirai on the Edge can do live performances for 72 hours straight.

We’ll prevail over this ultra-hard quest!

Epel: M-Moi...rai? I-I don’t know what that means, but let’s work hard!

(This time, we’ll make a design that Vil-sanーno, that anyone would approve of!)

Chapter 3

ーーThe day the time machine is due.

???: ...el... Epel!

—IGNIHYDE DORM - LOUNGE—

Epel: *Yawns*...?

Huh? Ahh! When did I go to sleep?! And Vil-san, what’re you doin’ here?

Vil: Your deadline is today at noon, so I came to check up on how you were doing. Honestly, I cannot believe you were sprawled out asleep on the floor.

So? Have you finished the time machine?

Epel: Oh... I did. Take a look at this!

There’s a story where the Fairest Queen of All made a poisoned apple, right?

So this time, I used that as my inspiration.

The color of the whole body represents a ripe, red, shining apple.

Like one you reach out to take without even realizing it... Anyway, I made sure it looked delicious!

Vil: Hmm... Go on.

Epel: Right. The other thing I worked especially hard on was this design that’s hidden when the machine is stopped, and only gets revealed when it starts up.

I’ll turn it on to let you see.

Vil: ! You painted the tire kept inside... Is that a skull?

Epel: Yes! One of the stories mentioned that a skull rose up before the poisoned apple the Queen made turned red...

So I added a symbol that can’t be seen from the outside unless you start it up.

This time machine is as “beautiful and fitting for the setting” as I can make it right now!

Vil: ...Allow me to ask you one thing. Why did you change to a poisoned apple?

Epel: Um... When I tried to use a peacock in my design, I honestly couldn’t tell if it was good or bad...

But then I thought, no one would be able to resist a design that makes apples look appealin’...!!

Vil: ......

...Heh. You finally came up with a design that reflects you.

Epel: ...! Yeah!

Vil: Now, I will leave you with the keys to this magical wheel.

Epel: Huh? Why me?

Vil: I’m heading back to our set. You’ll deliver the machine to the film studies club yourself.

You have until noon to bring it, just as we discussed. Don’t be late. Understood?

        (Vil leaves)

Epel: ...If he was in such a rush, he could’ve just taken it himself... Wait, hold on?!

Does this mean I can ride it back to the set... maybe?

AHH~! ALL RIGHT!!

Idia: Ugh... Epel-shi, you’re too loud... Your voice is ringing through my sleep-deprived head...

Epel: Oh! S-Sorry, Idia-san.

I’ve always wanted a magical wheel... And I get to ride one I designed myself. I just can’t believe it...

Alright, let’s get to the school building!

—MAIN STREET—

Film Studies Student A: Hm...? What’s that? There’s something coming towards us from the front gate.

Rook: That is a magical wheel. And the one driving it is... Monsieur Cherry Apple, Epel-kun.

Film Studies Student A: It’s so glossy, like a real apple... And his Pomefiore uniform looks so nice. It’s beautiful!

Film Studies Student B: Driving that machine, Epel-kun’s got a radiance that’s different from his usual frail beauty.

Film Studies Student C: Yeah. That piercing cold look and his unconsciously curled-up lips... I’m so drawn to it; I can’t look away.

Rook: Did you hear that, Vil? Everyone is praising Epel-kun!

Vil: Hehe, these potatoes’ reactions are perfect.

Epel: Oh... There he is! Vil-san! Just as promised, I’m here to deliver this.

Let me stop the machine... Okay. Well, I’ll get going now.

Vil: Hold it, Epel. Stay right there.

Film studies club, your attention! I have an announcement to make regarding our next film.

For our undecided leading role... I’ve decided to cast Epel right here.

Epel: Wh... What?!

Vil: You all saw how he looked riding that time machine, yes?

I believe there’s no better person out there more suited for this role. Are there any objections?

Rook: It’s true, the sight of him riding that time machine up here almost felt like a scene from a movie.

Film Studies Student B: Yeah! Hats off to you for how dashing you looked. I’ll let you have my seat today.

Epel: W-Wait a second. I thought I was just helping with the design——

Vil: I’ve already made up my mind. I’ll thoroughly train you to be an actor, so do prepare yourself.

Now, you must do a costume fitting. Costume committee, take Epel to our club room.

Costume Committee: Okay!

Epel: I-I still haven’t said anything about doing th—let me go!!

Vil: ...I see now how drastically the sparkle in his eyes changes depending on whether he’s interested or not. Honestly. He’s a difficult apple to deal with.

Rook: Epel-kun was shining like a completely different person than he was yesterday, yes...

But perhaps were you anticipating this finale from the start?

Vil: Well, now. Who’s to say?

#twisted wonderland #epel felmier #personal story #dorm uniform

[zv5x]

I'm curious, if Reader died or got knocked out in last fic with Poly!Spirit and Sen-

Reader is alive, just passed out from pain! The reason it happened so quick and without much effort from Spirit is cause, you know, demon powers. I know this isn't a request for a part two and was just a simple question buttttttt I'm extra as fuck and I wanted to do one anyways, so I'll just get it over with here! Hope you all enjoy!

Request status : open! 💕

tw !!! Be careful guys, Senpai goes a little crazy in this one lolz

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Spirit couldn't help but feel a great deal of pity as he glanced over at Senpai. The look of fear and uneasiness on his face was clear as day, and he nervously played with his loose-fitting tie as he stared at (Y/N) who was unconscious on the bed. Chains held their arms and legs to the bedposts, so there was no chance of escaping.

Spirit hummed, giving (Y/N) an empathetic pat on the leg, before choosing to address Senpai. "I know this isn't the sight you wanted to come home to, but-"

"W-what happened to them? D-did someone hurt them?!" Senpai managed to sputter out, despite the fear eating his body alive. Spirit sighed, as he couldn't help but become slightly irritated as soon as Senpai lost his cool like he was now. Nothing could get done when you're overrun by panic, but he was glad he was at least there to keep everything together. "Did they..." Senpai paused for a second, his past fear slowly draining from his face, replacing it was an expression that even Spirit couldn't fully read. "Did they try something funny again...?" Senpai asked in a low tone, and Spirit made a small noise as his response. The room was consumed by silence for a few moments, before Spirit decided to answer his question for real.

"I suppose you could say that." He said calmly and quietly, not really caring to expose the whole truth of what (Y/N) had done just yet. If Senpai asked for clarification or specification, then he would absolutely tell him, but he just didn't see it as needed at the moment. Senpai groaned in annoyance, stomping on the floor a single time. Spirit only rolled his eyes.

He didn't even bother to take his eyes off of (Y/N)'s "sleeping" form as Senpai made his way towards the two of them, stopping in front of the bed and crossing his arms. "What did they do?" Senpai asked quietly, almost in a whisper, in a tone that implied that maybe he didn't even want to know, but was just simply curious. Spirit shrugged.

"It was nothing too painful, just a punch to the nose. It didn't even hurt for a minute, really." Senpai looked at the entity standing next to him in a mixture of shock and disgust, absolutely baffled by the fact that their darling (Y/N) would ever do something like to that to either of them. He just didn't get it, and frankly, neither did Spirit. Really, they were just trying to help, but their (Y/N) just wasn't listening. It made things so much more tedious than they needed to be. Senpai growled to himself and made his way onto the bed. Spirit looked on in confusion, arching an eyebrow as he watched Senpai set himself down on (Y/N)'s chest, straddling it. He adjusted his position slightly, wriggling to make sure he was in the most comfortable position possible, before raising his hand to above the side of his head and bringing it down forcefully and quickly, slapping (Y/N) in the right cheek. Spirit even flinched himself, as the slap was hard enough to make a loud sound on impact.

However, Spirit couldn't feel too bad. He did try warning (Y/N). Senpai would be a lot harsher on them than he ever would be.

(Y/N) gasped as they woke up from their unconsciousness, Senpai glaring down at them as he watched them do so. It took them about a minute for their eyes to fully adjust to everything going on at the moment, especially since what caused them to wake up was so...violent...

"Well...good morning, honey." Senpai said through gritted teeth, and (Y/N) instinctively tried raising their arms, only for them to be held back by the chains. They swore at Senpai and demanded for either him or Spirit to release them, but that did nothing but anger Senpai further.

"You're lucky me and Spirit as so nice to you, if you were acting this bratty towards anyone else, your throat probably would've been sliced..." Senpai snicked sadistically, only for his slight amusement to completely vanish as (Y/N) leaned up towards him and spit in his face.

Senpai stumbled back, instinctively grabbing a tissue off the bedside table and wiping his face quickly and roughly while whining in disgust. Spirit bit his lip and took a step back, fully expecting Senpai to completely lose his shit within the next few seconds. Senpai began to hyperventilate, looking at the tissue with a look of pure distain. Senpai suddenly slammed the tissue to the side and pulled the table drawer open, his eyes set on a certain black rectangle. He pulled it out and held it up so (Y/N) could see it, and their eyes widened with fear and regret, instantly recognizing it as a taser.

"Do ANYTHING like that again, and this is going straight into your neck, understand?! God, how many times do we have to fucking TELL YOU, (Y/N)?!" Senpai screamed, punching the sides of the bed harshly. (Y/N)'s breathing was quick and heavy, the fear on their face as clear as day. Tears pricked at the corners of their eyes as they were reduced to the bearer of Senpai's rage, Spirit standing in calm silence as Senpai yelled on about what they had been trying to tell (Y/N) for almost a year now.

"You're so fucking GULLIBLE! Without us you'd probably be fucking dead on the side of the road! You think you can just go do whatever the fuck you want with whoever, and then treat us like we're fucking disposable trash?! You sick WORM." Senpai went on and on, even at one point grabbing (Y/N)'s shoulders and shaking them harshly. He was pissed, and Spirit saw his anger as justified. "We're doing this all for YOU! We love YOU! We NEED you, and you need US!" Tears began to fall from Senpai's eyes just as (Y/N) began fearfully sobbing as well, but Senpai's tears were more of frustration and anger than crippling fear. "We love you (Y/N), please, we just want to take care of you, you're our everything! Please!" Senpai choked back sobs as (Y/N) continued crying themselves. "Nobody else can love you like we do, they just can't keep you safe like we can, we'd do anything for you, we just want you to be happy..." Senpai sniffled, but (Y/N) didn't respond.

Spirit didn't feel bad for (Y/N). They wouldn't be here right now if (Y/N) would just learn how to listen. They were doing this for love, for repayment for all the effort (Y/N) put into making sure they were alive and well. (Y/N) saved them. Before Spirit knew it, Senpai seemed satisfied with the agressive lecture, and replaced his seething anger and flowing tears with a cutesy giggle and a wipe of the eyes. "You're just so hopeless, (Y/N)...but that's fine, some people just aren't meant to take care of themselves!"

It was almost scary how quickly Senpai could switch between moods, but who was Spirit to judge? Rejection was never in Sen's programming, and he was meant to be a hopeless romantic almost all of the time, so he really couldn't blame Senpai for having...less than stable moods.

"You're so lucky you have us dolly, where would you even be without us?" Senpai gushed, and Spirit couldn't help but agree. The two of them could tell (Y/N) clearly wanted to detest that, but they didn't care. Their input was irrelevant, since they didn't at all know what they wanted or needed.

Senpai hummed happily, curling (Y/N)'s lips upward in the shape of a smile with his finger. The skin of his digits were soaked at this point, as tears were pooling from (Y/N)'s eyes as they tried squirming away so desperately from his vice grip. Spirit cupped his one cheek with his hand and held (Y/N)'s trembling one in his other, smiling almost as brightly as Senpai.

They deserved this. They deserved something nice after that that bastard put them through. And, this was it. Their present, their compensation, their reward.

Their soulmate.

Senpai giggled, and Spirit followed soon after, the two of them looking at each other as if they were reading the others thoughts perfectly. Senpai turned to (Y/N), that smile still just as strong as it was before.

"Now, go on...tell us you love us~"

#yandere x darling #yandere senpai #yandere headcanons #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere friday night funkin #yandere fnf #spirit fnf x reader #yandere spirit #friday night funkin spirit #spirit friday night funkin #spirit x reader #spirit fnf #fnf spirit #senpai #fnf senpai x reader #senpai x reader #yandere senpai fnf #yandere senpai x reader #fnf senpai #yandere prompts #yandere poly #poly yandere #poly x reader

[jeonqqin]

man up. [m] | pt. 3

h. jisung x reader | netflix rom-com au

— ❝Even with classes, annoying brothers, and an unrequited crush, you still figured your first year of college was going pretty well. Until you managed to get your first boyfriend, and suddenly your brother and his stupidly attractive best friend were attached to your hip for the whole damn ride.

or alternatively;

Why did Jisung care about you so much, and had his eyes always been that pretty?❞

WORD COUNT: 4k

CONTAINS: brothers best friend au, teen rom-com au, sorta crack fic, love triangle au, college au

WARNINGS: slight angst?, gross/cringy couple, language

A/N: Hyunae is a normal person guys 🤭

▸ request

CHAPTERS:  01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 +

blog masterlist | ⟲ fic song

© jeonqqin 2020

—UNEDITED

“Don’t even think about it.”

Jisung froze in place, his eyes wide. He hadn’t even said a word and you were already angry with him? He didn’t even know how you could tell it was him—your back was turned and you were staring intently down at your laptop. And he certainly hadn’t expected you to snap at him when he finally found you tucked away in the library.

“Huh?”

“If you plan on bothering me while I’m studying, I will not hesitate to throw my laptop at your head.” You threatened, not once taking your eyes off your notes.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Jisung defended, suddenly ready to block any flying objects from hitting his head. “I just got here!”

You turned your head to send a quick glare to him, just to make sure he knew you weren’t happy with him, before resuming your typing.

To say you weren’t happy with how your little dinner went the other day, would’ve been an understatement. You were currently giving the silent treatment to three of the five people who were at the table and even though you really had no reason to be mad at Jisung, he pushed your buttons so you wanted him away. Unfortunately, it seemed that you had grown a parasite.

“Come on, Y/n. Seriously?” Jisung asked.

Your head shook, eyes rolling in dismissal.

“Yes. I’m—” you sighed, hand lifting to rub over your eyes. You were tired and your eyes hurt. What were you studying again? “I’m serious, you asshole. I need to get this shit done and over with.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Yes.”

Even without looking at him you could tell he was pouting, his lip pulled up and brows furrowed.

“I didn’t do anything this time!” Jisung defended, rounding the table to look you in the eye. “Why’re you mad at me?”

He sounded so much like a scolded child, it took everything in your being not to just grab your stuff and leave. Though, as tempting as the thought was, he’d probably just follow you and you’d be right back at the start.

“You’re annoying.” You answered simply.

He stood there for a moment, watching you with too much intensity for your liking. You could almost see the gears turning in his head, his eyebrows slowly forming into a frown as the seconds tick by. It was unnerving to say the least.

But finally, Jisung sighed, reaching over to shut your laptop.

You gawked at his blatant disregard of your words.

“I—” You stammered, reaching out to grab his wrist in whatever attempt you were making to stop his disruptive behavior. “You can’t—!”

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked, freezing you in your spot.

When… did you eat last?

He waited for your protests and whines but none came, there was just a big puff of the last bit of your resilience. Jisung rolled his eyes fondly, his way of silently saying, “yeah, exactly”. So he continued onward, pulling your chair out and sliding your laptop into your bag.

“Let’s go.” He droned, grabbing your hand and tugging you out of your chair.

You released a small groan in defiance but it was short-lived as Jisung maneuvered your head to rest on his shoulder, one of his arms wrapping securely around your waist to keep you from going limp.

It hasn’t been the first time he had to drag you away from the library, and it definitely wasn’t going to be the last. You were too stubborn for your own good.

You sighed, finally just slipping into the warmth of Jisung’s shoulder. “You don’t have to baby me, you know.”

You felt Jisung’s body shake in a silent chuckle.

“I know. But I want to.”

You had always felt strange whenever Jisung took care of you. It wasn’t like Minho, who was your actual brother. Your relationship with Jisung was something that felt both artificial and natural all at the same time. He felt obligated to help you just as Minho did, but that only made things between the two of you feel fake. Though you knew he sincerely cared about your wellbeing.

If only he would stop trying to fit into that mould that Minho built around himself. Maybe then Jisung and you could be really good friends. But that would never happen while he was trying to compensate and prove whatever it was that he was trying to prove to whoever he was trying to prove it to.

Maybe after that he could be more than your brother's best friend.

“Lix is going to punch me if I miss our lunch again.” You huffed into the fabric of his... sweater?

When did he start wearing those?

Jisung patted your arm, “Well, he won’t be punching you today. You need to eat.”

Your eyebrow raised as you shifted enough to look at him.

“And you’re going to carry me the whole way?”

“Of course.” He nodded without a second thought, a proud smile on his face. “Where are we going?”

Jisung could be really cute sometimes, and you couldn’t help but smile at that realization. He thrived off of making other people feel good, and when he succeeded, he got giddy.

You struggled to pull your phone from your back pocket, scrolling through all the messages you and Felix sent that morning. You hummed, “Felix said we were going to Haven.”

Exiting the library, Jisung groaned, “Again? We just went yesterday.”

You shrugged against him. “He has a soft spot for Jeongin.”

Finally reaching the chilly air waiting outside of the university building, you cursed under your breath. No matter how many layers you threw on, the autumn wind was always there to seep through them, nipping at your sensitive skin. The leaves were finally changing, which was beautiful, but you couldn’t really appreciate their beauty when the wind and rain whipped them off their branches.

It was a little like college; no matter how pretty or vibrant you were, the whirlwind of work and studying always threw you around enough to knock you off that pedestal. Until you were bare and ready for summer to come again so you could recharge.

The cycle was a bitch.

Jisung sighed with you, his eyes gazing out at the pretty leaves as well. Gradually he adjusted you enough so he was able to slip his arm from your waist and then sliding it over your shoulders. The extra padding if his sweater was nice against your cheek, bringing just a little bit of warmth.

He peaked at you in the corner of his eye, looking forward again to avoid being caught in the action.

“Do you want to take the bus? It’ll take a little longer, but at least we won’t blow away.” He suggested with a small snicker as his bangs whipped around his eyes.

You considered it, hands finding warmth in the fabric of his grey pullover.

“Sure, but it’ll probably be packed since everyone is getting out of class.”

He looked to be weighing the options in his head, but suddenly he was at a standstill, his once-limp arm going completely stiff around you.

“Ji?” A delicate voice rang, followed by a small laugh. “I called you twice, baby. Where were you?”

Ew, you frowned, what a movie moment.

Hyunae stopped in front of you, her tawny locks swinging in a pretty braid at her ribs and her thick sweatshirt hanging loosely down around her thighs. You knew it was Jisung’s—you had seen him wearing it before. Hell, you’d seen Minho wearing it.

She wasn’t in anything extravagant or flashy, but with her honest eyes and round cheeks, she didn’t have to be to stand out from everyone else in the world.

The moment her eyes made a sweep of Jisung’s frozen position, they flickered to you, her face slowly settling into something akin to a frown. It was a look that could make anyone feel sad, her face looked unnatural when sullen.

With a nudge from you, Jisung jumped to his girlfriend’s side, leaving you exposed to the chilling wind.

Boys were stupid, weren’t they?

“Sorry, angel—”

Oh, gag.

“—Y/n stuffed herself in the library. Someone had to pull her out for some air.”

He smiled down at her, unconsciously maneuvering his body in the way of the violent wind, shielding her small frame.

She nodded slowly, again looking over towards you.

“Okay. But Ji,” she paused, grabbing his hand to gain his attention. “You know how I feel about you being affectionate towards other people, right…?”

Jealous, insecure, though not completely irrational—

Jisung bent closer to her, lips curled apologetically. “I know, baby. I’m sorry, but it’s like second nature with Y/n! She’s like a baby sister, you know that.”

Hyunae sighed. She was ready to spout out more choice words, but with a small smile, Jisung began to pepper her face with quick kisses, bringing a melodic giggle to her lips.

They seriously couldn’t have forgotten about you. You were standing three feet away from them.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, finding the flying leaves much more interesting than the display in front of you. The giggling stopped and things suddenly felt much more uncomfortable.

“I’m going to head over to Haven, okay?” You asked, ready to speed-walk as far away from their little reunion as you possibly could.

Hyunae places a chaste kiss to Jisung’s mouth before grabbing his hand and hooking it around her waist. She patted his stomach, fluttering her long lashes up at him, “I could go for something to eat. Can I tag along?”

Your nose scrunched up in distaste.

She had to be laying it on thick on purpose. You had seen the two of them together before and sure, they were a lovey-dovey couple, but did she have to look up at Jisung like he had hung the stars in the sky?

Jisung wasn’t any better, his cheeks a nice rosy color, and his hands touching all the little curves of her waist.

Every moment you were within range of Hyunae, you were ignored. She wasn’t outwardly an attention seeker, but just her being there called everyone’s eyes. Not that you wanted to be the center of attention necessarily, it only bothered you when you spoke out and were completely brushed off. Your words going in one ear and out the other with both Hyunae and Jisung, it was frustrating.

They were always in their own little world, and you couldn’t have been the only one who didn’t want to be there to witness it.

“Yeah,” Jisung nodded obediently. “Of course you can, sunshine.”

Well, if you hadn’t been hungry before, you definitely weren’t now.

You deadpanned, spinning on your heel, “Great. I’ll be on the bus then.”

“We’re definitely going on the bus though. Your pants look too thin to be walking around in this weather.”

Hyunae giggled at her boyfriend’s words.

Maybe you could lose them and take the next bus back to your dorm.

You weren’t being petty—no one liked being ignored. That was a fact. Stepping up to the campus bus stop, the last of the crowd was piling into the bright blue vehicle, and you released a relieved sigh. The last thing you wanted to do was sit and wait for ten minutes while Jisung and Hyunae cooed and pinched each other’s cheeks.

Your relief proved to be in vain, however, as you slid into the last remaining seat, only to be followed by the couple. They stood directly in front of you, their shadow casting down and becoming the only thing you could see.

Never had you thought that you would be able to feel your stomach flipping upside-down inside of you as Hyunae pulled Jisung down into a kiss in front of everyone in the crowded bus. Would you really be committing a crime if you threw them out the window? Could it be considered a public service?

“Baby, stop! There are people here…”

Seriously, what kind of sadistic soap opera were you living in?

You had thrown yourself out of your seat the moment the bus crawled to a stop. It was a good thing the diner was the first stop or else you probably would’ve walked the rest of the way and risked being caught in the wind. Even then it would’ve been better than sitting and pretending not to see the cuddling happening a foot away.

You were going to order a cup of coffee and leave with a stomachache—that was your plan.

Maybe Minho would be home and you would be able to slide into his bed and beg for him to cuddle you. Not that there was a particular reason why you were suddenly feeling needy and void of attention, Minho was just kind of squishy and made a good pillow on occasions where you had to force yourself to sleep before you attempted to squeeze more studying in.

“It took you long enough to get here.” Felix called as you slid into the seat beside him, waving off the confused look he sent you. You simply motioned towards the smiling couple and watched as your best friend’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, yeah. Okay.”

You deadpanned, “Quick, kill me before they get here. We can both get out of this.”

“No way, you get the easy way out. I’m here stuck with murder.”

You patted his shoulder sympathetically, the sides of your mouth finally twitching at the corners.

“Trust me, jail for life is better than five minutes around these two.”

“You’re being dramatic. Let the young couple be gross.” Felix said as he nudged at your arm.

“Screw you and your dumb romantic heart. To normal people this is bordering on public indecency.”

Felix’s lip curled at the side as the two sat down on the other side of the table, Hyunae grabbed one menu for the both of them and opened it to discuss amongst themselves and they had to be covering every single disgusting couple trope out there. No matter how many times you witnessed it, it would always surprise you as to just how much you wanted to throw up.

But it was when Felix mouthed the word “jealous” did you determine that your day was just going to be shitty and you couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

“Did you order yet, Lix?” Jisung chimed, his voice almost sounding brighter than it had before. Did Hyunae really affect him that much?

“No. I was waiting for Y/n to get here.” He shrugged, holding up his own menu.

Hyunae looked up, her eyes shining with worry.

Gross.

“I hope we didn’t intrude or anything.”

Who even said “intrude” anymore?

Felix shook his head. “You’re fine. Y/n is usually a bummer to eat with anyway.”

Hyunae glanced your way before chuckling, shaking her head as she refocused back on Jisung who was desperately trying to show her something on the laminated sheet in front of them. He was actually a child.

Who got excited about menus? He ordered the same thing every time he ate at Haven, what was there to be excited about?

“What can I get you guys?”

Jeongin’s smile just barely lifted your mood, and you were grateful.

Felix set his menu down, “I’ll just have a Coke, and I wanted to know if I could order off the dinner list?”

And with that question, your mood was immediately diminished. You frowned, sending Felix a look similar to disgust.

What kind of day were you having?

“Can even be considered dinner? It’s four o’clock, who eats dinner at four in the afternoon?”

“It’s called the early bird special, you disrespectful baby. Old people do this shit all the time.” Felix pointed, sliding his menu across the table to Jeongin.

“Sorry that I don’t know the routine of old people, Felix.”

Jisung frowned, his eyes trying to catch yours to assess what was wrong, but you were too busy ripping up what was left of Felix’s napkin. Though, Hyunae noticed where Jisung’s gaze was lingering, and slid her fingers through his.

“Are you okay, Y/n?” Hyunae asked, voice lit with the intention of lightening the mood. “You seem a little grumpy today.”

But you saw nothing humorous in her comment. You bit your tongue, hard enough to taste the faintest of copper.

“A coffee.”

“Just—?”

“Just a coffee, Jeongin.”

The table went tense at the way your voice rose, Jeongin moving quickly to jot down your simple request, no longer looking up from his notepad. You would’ve felt bad had you not been so frustrated with the turn out of the day.

Hyunae then cleared her throat, her brows raised in the smallest action of judgement. It was similar to the many looks she had shot at Hyunjin during one of their many heated arguments, and that was what you hated about Hyunae. Not only did she get on every one of your nerves by being the world’s best girlfriend, but she had the incredible ability to make you feel like you had done so much wrong just within the few seconds of her flashing that look.

“Okay, then. Me and Jisung will have—”

And her “Me and Jisung,” that was what made your stomach churn the most.

“Sorry, Jeongin.” You said, startling everyone, including the boy you addressed as you stood from the booth. “I’m not feeling very well. I have to go.”

“O-Okay. Feel better, Y/n.” Jeongin said, moving out of your way.

“Woah woah woah,” suddenly, Jisung was standing too, grabbing your arm before you could rush out the door. “Where are you going? You need to eat.”

For whatever reason, his words only infuriated you more, feeling your ears heat and muscles tense under his grip. Was that what it took to get his attention? You had to throw a fit before he gave you the time of day?

You ripped your arm from his hold, not even giving the table a second glance before spinning on your heel.

“Fuck off, Jisung.”

As you stormed off, throwing open the door and leaving with a huff, Jisung watched your retreating form with wide eyes. It was as if you had slapped him, mouth gaping and brows furrowed in confusion.

Felix sighed, suddenly feeling bad for pushing your buttons in that ordeal. “She’s tired.” He concluded, slouching in his seat.

“I’ll say…” Hyunae quipped.

And for whatever reason that was, Jisung really wanted to snap at her, to defend you and tell her to quit being a bitch. But his voice was lost as he looked down at her, only able to muster up a silent scoff as he sat back down. He didn’t even push away her hand when it reached for his.

What perfect timing to realize that he was afraid of his own girlfriend.

He was such an asshole.

Both your and Jisung’s thoughts were very similar at that moment.

And how you could go from leaning your head against Jisung’s warm shoulder to wanting to rip his head off was unbeknownst to you.

You had to leave in that moment, if you hadn’t you didn’t know what you would’ve said… or screamed. You were just so frustrated and so tired, convincing yourself that no, you did not want to cry in front of everyone who was enjoying their early bird special.

There was school, all your homework creating a permanent dent in your life filled with papers and essays and tests, and there was Minho there to nag at you and chase away any boy that gave you the time of day. They had always been in your life. But now there was Jisung and Chan, new emotions and problems to throw into the mix. With everything going on, it was difficult to keep up, and you actually missed the moments when it was just Minho there to tuck you under his arm and lecture you about boys.

In your thoughts, you never even noticed how you completely walked past the bus stop and had come up to a quiet playground on the edge of campus. How you had managed to walk that far, you didn’t know. Perhaps it was all the pent up stress that just had you zoning out and walking, or your body was subconsciously trying to get you kidnapped so you didn’t have to deal with your problems anymore.

You were feeling a bit better, so either way, it worked.

Finally, you found your legs carrying you to one of the swings, the black seat reminiscent of your childhood where you would always burn the backs of your legs in your hurry to get there before everyone else. That black rubber always got so damn hot.

With a small smile, you sat down, almost disappointed to feel the coolness against your jeans.

Your legs of course bent awkwardly under you, you weren’t a kid anymore unfortunately, and it was pretty strange to push off on something that you had forgotten entirely about but had thought so highly of before. Despite it being strange, it felt nice, and you were thankful that the wind was dying down as it was getting later in the day, the sun making its way towards the ground in front of you.

Rocking yourself in the swing you reached back for your phone. You wanted to apologize to Felix for storming off and probably worrying him, he was sort of your mother in that way. But you weren’t really ready to squeeze back into reality like that, so you called someone else.

“Y/n? What’s up?”

You felt your lips quirk up.

“Nothing much. What about you?”

The man on the other line hummed, the faint sound of typing just barely made out. “This song isn’t fitting together and I kind of want to scream, so I’m doing pretty good.”

“I think I’m doing pretty good then too.”

You rested your head against the chain of the swing.

“Did something happen?”

You made a sound that could be read similarly to “yes, but I think I’ll sound stupid if I tell you”, but it successfully pulled a laugh from him, so it was worth it.

“I don’t think you want to listen to my woes.”

“I always want to listen to your woes.”

His tone was joking, but his words were genuine, you could tell.

And finally, you were smiling, as difficult as it had been all day, you were able to while talking to him. There was no Jisung, no Hyunae, no judgment. You could talk to him without worrying, and you knew that for sure.

“And I want to throw up because of how cheesy that was.” You retorted, using the same joking tone he had spoken in.

There was the sound of shifting, and ruffles of fabric—as if he had just stood from his desk and fell back onto his bed.

“Don’t make fun of me, I’m already feeling bad about my song. Now tell me about your day so I can feel better about mine.”

You snorted, pushing yourself off on the swing once more.

“Okay, Chan. Whatever you say.”

#stray kids #skz #inkidz #jisung #han jisung #bang chan #han jisung x reader #han jisung x reader smut #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagine #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids blurbs #stray kids requests #han jisung imagines #han jisung scenarios #stray kids fanfic #jisung/reader #series #fic; man up

[irisbleufic]

This is prolly a weird compliment, however I appreciate the signs you know a decent amount about different prescription drugs and therapeutic indications in your fics. Like I get that a lot of the canons you work in are awash in mad science and such, but the flashes of realism in your characters' medical and mental health situations have helped me a lot.

Not a weird compliment, anon! That's one of the more reassuring things a pharmacist's kid can hear, let me tell you. I used to pull my mom's textbooks and continuing ed materials off the bookshelves when I was younger, and I spent from about age 4 to about age 14 regularly hiding behind the counter after school at the drugstores where my mom worked, quietly doing assignments. Past that age, my mom worked for the pharmacies in bigger chain stores instead of in smaller pharmacies, but I was still hit with info nonstop.

More to blame, though, is that I've just had so many fucking surgeries and health issues (mental and otherwise) for someone who's only just approaching 40—and that I've had to change medications more times than I can count because I form resistance worryingly fast. The number of painkillers that will work on me, I can count on one hand; getting me numb at the dentist and getting me put under general anesthesia are both tasks that routinely get fucked up because some clinicians don't read my charts closely enough. You have to give me way too much shit for a small-to-average sized person in order to keep me numb or unconscious for long enough.  Gotta love that redhead problem.

My experience with anxiety meds and antidepressants has been pretty wild. It's the other place where my resistance-forming has been truly pernicious. Citalopram made me a zombie easily startled by any sudden sound, no matter how small, in my vicinity. From there, I was switched to fluoxetine, which seemed to work well for about 3-4 years and then suddenly flatlined no matter how much they raised my dose. About 5 years ago, I was put on venlafaxine and figured out that, in my case, it was only good for fatigue and suicidal ideation no matter what dose I was on. About 3 years ago, I was put on what my psych called one of the "last resort" drugs for their clinic, bupropion, and gabapentin for anxiety/sleep. This has been the most stable combo until recently, when the source of my generic bupropion changed—that tripped off a spike in anxiety and insomnia, and raising the gabapentin dose didn't quite compensate. The workaround du jour was badgering my psych until they assented to fax a Canadian pharmacy my prescription, citing name-brand (Wellbutrin) only, no substitutions, since that's the only way we can guarantee my formulation won't randomly change. I'm maybe 2 weeks into that transition and am starting to feel as close as I ever feel to normal, faster than I've ever gotten there after a meds switch, but I always have to pay close attention for changes in efficacy. I'm hoping bupropion/Wellbutrin remains a keeper, because those early switches were grueling.

(I spent way too long being silenced about mental health struggles, so fuck anybody reading this who thinks it's TMI. People need to know how difficult psychotropics are to calibrate. I also go to therapy and talk extensively with my psych.)

TL;DR it's not any miraculous studiousness on my part above and beyond being a nosy Autistic kid who formed special interests easily, having a mom who never shut up about work, and being sickly AF before I've even hit my fourth decade of life. I guess the way it manifests in my writing is the lemons-to-lemonade principle. I might as well make the best of my complicated relationship to all things medical!

#mental health #medical #antidepressants #tw medical #writing

[ask-spider-man-61610]

So I think you’ve talked about your Doc Ock a bit on here... but have you ever encountered any other Ocks in other dimensions? How do they match up to yours?

Yes, I have. Doctor Octopus might not be exactly a universal constant, but it's certainly a common enough title that I've crossed paths with a fair number of them. I'm going to give a short little rundown of each of them, and why they should go to hell. This is gonna be a salty list. If you didn't want that, you should've come to someone else.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-1512 was the first alternate Ock I ever encountered. Unlike most of the Ocks on this list, I don't know or care what his deal is--I just spent an hour in my first ever alternate universe before I saw a man in armored green and yellow throwing cars around with mechanical tentacles. He was also working with the Green Goblin and holding civilians hostage at the time, which in my opinion is reason enough to put him in the ICU like I did. I've never been back to this universe and never will, but presumably he's just doing the same shit every month or so.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-8363, colloquially called God Ock because I guess we can't fucking help but stroke his ego, was the Ock I met during my first outing with what'd eventually be the Cluster. He's a weird edge case. First we fought a robotic duplicate of him, then his actual self after he'd done the dumbest thing I've ever seen an Ock do and integrated an extradimensional energy source into his fucking body in a bid for omnipotence. I suspect he was already basically dead when Gwen ripped the Shard out, but he had a backup personality on a secret hard drive and so we've met his AI self. He agrees it wasn't his smartest move. Still, fuck this guy. He apparently stabbed my alternate self in the back so he deserves what he got.

Oliver Octavius, of Earth-42711a, isn't a doctor. I refuse to call him Doctor Octopus, but he's calling himself that because he claims to be the son of Otto Octavius. Knowing Otto, I'm more than a little skeptical of that claim, but that doesn't change the fact that in a bid to be just like Daddy he dropped out of college to become a supervillain. When Melly noted that this plan was less than stellar he interpreted that as a personal betrayal and has sworn revenge on her. He's temperamental, idolizing of a man he's never met, and has an ego more fragile than sugar glass--and he's not even good at villainy. I walked into his lair, kicked his ass, and walked out again in less than five minutes. Oliver's pathetic. And he knows it, because he's scrambling to compensate with a desperation that anyone with half a brain can see is going to kill him very, very soon.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-22701 needs to fucking leave Morgan alone. The Peter Parker of that universe died like a century ago, and that Otto's engineered a way to stop aging so he doesn't even need to fight superheroes anymore. But no, he reads about a kid in New Orleans with my powers and decides that that's obviously his dead enemy having, I dunno, reincarnated or something. Instead of being the result of the spider-related experiments that he funded. I don't have a lot of respect for this Otto's intelligence. I've only met him in-person once, when I was going on the warpath and beating up everyone who's ever tried to kill Morgan, but for some reason having an actual Peter Parker knock two of his teeth out wasn't enough to deter him from his theory about Morgan being me. I'll try again as soon as I get a chance.

Odyssia Octavius, the Ock of Earth-777, is probably the least scientist and most mad of all the mad scientists here. Also the one who leans the hardest into the Octopus aesthetic, because alone among the Ocks she's a marine biologist. Now, unlike certain counterparts of mine I could mention, I actually don't give a fuck about her decision to serve an eldritch sea monster for power. Nor am I opposed to her overall goal--obviously we gotta save the environment, and obviously we're gonna have to fuck up some industries to make that happen. That's fine. My problems with her are more related to her habit of painfully twisting people she's got a grudge on into horrific monsters and then siccing said monsters on the populace. Even if that wasn't fucking abominable and evil beyond all recompense, it doesn't exactly convey the green message she's trying to go for. Maybe the Writhing One is modifying her logic to suit its own ends, using her as a puppet to get what it wants. Maybe she just fucking sucks. I've only ever spoken to her through the Internet, but if we ever meet face to face I'll be sure to ask which one it is right after I kick her ass and rip off big handfuls of that magic tattoo.

October Otto, the Doctor Octopus of Earth-2, is the only person in this list who I'm not inclined to attack on sight. It took me a little while to get to that point--when the me of Earth-2, Pax, introduced us I was pretty suspicious. But out of all the Ocks I've ever met, this is the only one who's not...nefarious. They're a little eccentric, more than a little shy, but overall a very well-meaning and selfless biologist. I'm glad I met them, even if their tentacles make me a little nauseous to think about. They and I still communicate occasionally, and after what happened to Pax I've been checking in with them to ask about their progress on a cure. This is one of the few people with whom I've ever felt the need to share my files on the Oz virus. I hope it does them good.

With the exception of October, all of these people are fucking awful. But none of them are as dangerous or as detestable as the Otto Octavius of Earth-61610.

The Otto I know is an unrivalled genius. His entire existence is devoted to biorobotics, and over the years he's integrated man and machine on a level that makes the Iron Man armor look like a remote-controlled action figure. He's modified his tentacles to counter my super speed, he's designed and redesigned a zillion different personal helpers, he's made himself the center of a technological superpower controlled solely by his mind. And unlike a lot of Ocks, he's not being manipulated by his tentacles. Nor was he driven insane by the accident that fused them to his body. No, this is a perfectly sane, rational prosthesis engineer who got so frustrated with the bounds of the law that he decided he had the right to start snapping necks.

He's a futurist, is the thing. A man with a grand vision of the technological utopia he could turn the world into, who thinks without a shadow of doubt that he knows what's best for the world and everyone in it, and who's decided that if you try to stop him from realizing that vision that the best thing to do is Remove you from the equation. Worse, he's written off massive swaths of the human race off as expendable--as little people whose lives are a perfectly acceptable sacrifice to bring about his future, who maybe even should be thanking him for the chance to finally mean something.

Every Octobot contains at least a few pieces of human brain. He kidnaps people, lobotomizes them, and integrates parts of their central nervous system into his systems to make his robots more adaptable and independent than purely mechanical systems could be. He's seeded mass-produced medicine with nanotech that hijacked the nervous system of the people who took it and turned them into unconscious parts of a worldwide neural network. On more than one occasion, he's tried to turn entire cities into his own personal laboratories, and everyone inside into lab rats.

Otto Octavius is a monster. No other Ock I've ever met even comes close.

#spider-man #specs #peter parker #ask #spidersona #earth-61610 #Otto Octavius #Doctor Octopus

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

part 12

ink was getting nervous. Error was coming by at night, and since every other vampire was sleeping, he couldn’t do anything but wait in his garden-

Something wasn’t quite normal with error. He looked pretty anxious, wary even-

 Ink sighed. Life was so empty- not even death could fix that

 He discovered that over time, most vampires could get used to the sunlight after being exposed to it very lightly. He also noticed that vampires couldn’t be murdered unless they were shot or stabbed in the soul

He not only wasn’t affected by the sunlight in the first place, but he had no soul to begin with-

Death wasn’t an option.

Boredom was the only thing that was “killing” him

 Ever since he could remember, life was always so boring

 Empty

 Without any goal to achieve or get going with

 He clenched his fists

The only thing that was following him around and that let him stay alive was…

 Guilt

 For something he could never forgive himself for

Maybe he could fix it?

 He didn’t want to think about it now-

 He traveled inside his garden, wandering around his maze, then sat down near some bushes

He was an immortal being with barely no will to live, but he did have a passion to stay sane

And it ended up being art.

Painting, sewing, designing, sculpting-

Creating was a nice compensation for destroying everyone’s lives…

 Now that he was thinking about it…

…….

 Wait, who was that?!

 Ink noticed a shadow fly away from his garden. ‘Right when he had some inspiration to draw’. He ran to them, but he realized they already left.

It was probably another vampire, but the vast majority preferred to go out at night since they won’t be so visible to the mortals. Though it was unusual for a one to fly off so fast and early in the morning. The sun was bright, and even he felt pretty nauseous staying on spot without anything to shield himself from the heat of it.

Even so, he stared at his surroundings, curious to see if the person left something, when he noticed a crispy letter on the grass.

Ink sighed, who could it beee?

He painfully leaned down to catch the letter, and opened it.

Right, it was him.

Just when he thought he’ll get to talk to him personally-

He sat down and read the long paragraph that decorated its paper.

 …

 “…oh-“

 He got up and dusted off his clothes from the remaining dirt and leaves that stuck to him, then trailed off to his castle-

 “Looks like the meeting is still ongoing”

 ******

 His steps were heavy,

And he was getting weaker-

He collapsed on the ground

It was so painful to be alive

And he hated it

He HATED ink for what he did!

He-

He…

….

Well, the forest wasn’t a good place to fall unconscious in, so he painfully got himself up.

He could hate ink all he wanted, but the mortals were even worse

If only he could just KILL THEM ALL

ALL OF THEM

Ugh-

 “…”

 Huh

Crying?

Him?

Out of character, right?

He wiped away the tears that were slowly forming themselves in his sockets. He had to- he had to go and ask for help like the idiot that he is! He…he didn’t want him to-

…

Die? Who? What the flip was he even doing in that forest anyways?!

Oh yeah, heal himself

Obviously

He sat by a tree and painfully tightened the holes and scars with bandages after carefully removing the bullets and disinfecting the injuries with his magic. He really didn’t want to see him again,

But he didn’t have a choice anymore

********

*tap*

*tap*

*tap*

*tap*

*tap*

*tap*

He sat on his sofa, slowly waiting for his guest’s arrival in front of his large window.

He closed his eyes patiently, then sighed calmly

 “nice seeing you again, error”

His silhouette slowly appeared in front of him, threatening as always.

“…”

He looked away, a frown still in place.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to see me, but god can you be stubborn!” ink pouted. They knew each other for years, but one thing that didn’t change was the fact that error was never happy to see him

Nor to spend time with him

Actually, the times where he’ll be “happy” is when he almost “kills” him, or when he leaves-

Yeah, a nice “friendship”

“I swear if it wasn’t for an important reason I would’ve never stepped a toe in your hell of a castle!”

“but you still came here. And I’m sorry if I am worried about this reason that’s so important it actually made you sit here, and talk to me for once.”

Error flinched at his sarcastic tone, and he thought about giving a spiteful remark back, but he sat on the sofa in front of him, directly facing the window, choosing to ignore his off handed retorts to leave that place as soon as possible.

“… well-“ error tried to collect his words, obviously tired of what had happened to him this past weeks.

“there is a small town very far away from here who sent a…detective? Spy? Whatever, A trained mortal to hunt down the vampires while being hidden amongst the normal villagers, and he’s been very wary of YOU especially.”

“He had been giving some “ideas” to the mortals, and if he manages to convince them to overthrow your rules and influence, he’ll quickly discover your intentions and the hidden place of multiple thousands of vampire, causing the extinction of the race in a second. And while I flipping hate your guts and I despise you all so much, vampires and mortals alike, I can’t really be all that powerful and safe when the humans can win over me; the amount of vampires decreasing giving them “courage” to kill the remaining.”

He stated the last sentence with disgust. He didn’t give two cents about vampires, even less monsters or even humans, which he hates even more, but ink’s motives were vastly different

ink loved vampires, because he had to; Being the original vampire who first existed. He was the reason so many mortals turned into those people, feared by the pitiful society called the living. And just like that he and the other vampires that followed began growing stronger in number and power.

You could say that he didn’t have a choice- that it was in his nature; he’s a vampire! He can’t help but drink blood, in the case of monsters, magic-

But

No

Not only can vampires resist the urge to drink blood, by simply eating meat, but in ink’s case

He doesn’t even like drinking blood nor magic

He was more into literal ink

The only reason he drank blood in the first place was to get feelings

The first vampire didn’t have a chance to get a soul, so he discovered he could get feelings another way.

And he despised doing that

Because

Of how he discovered

That-

“INK!”

Ink looked at error, realizing he must’ve been daydreaming for too long

“…”

Ink got up, then undressed himself from his coat.

“Huh? What the he- what are you doing???”

“Well, suffice to say we’re going to catch that little comedian and eliminate him as soon as we can”

Error didn’t expect such bluntness from ink, but he couldn’t care less about that, more like, he was caught off guard by the “we”

“Hey, hey, hey- this is YOUR job, mister! It is not my business to attend”

Ink looked back at him, and gave him a warm smile

“Didn’t you say earlier it affected you if all the race disappeared? Wouldn’t you want to stop that from happening? I might add that you wouldn’t come here unless you really had to, so is it just for a message or did you need my help?”

He hated it when ink gets smart

But at the same time he was right

Though there was still another reason on top of it all, but he kept his mouth sealed

That bastard didn’t need to know

“…fine. What to do now”

Ink’s smirk became predatory

“What makes you think we’ll need to do anything?”

Error flinched

“What?”

Ink giggled-

“Well, it’s getting quite late don’t you think?”

Error looked back at the window, the moon shining bright in a cold, dark night

“Ink! I need answers!”

Ink paused his laughing, then smiled

“I’ll tell you more about it if you’ll be my guest.”

He bowed slightly, still keeping eye contact with the other

Error tensed- he didn’t know what to do now

“…is this a trap?”

Ink looked surprised at that statement, but quickly rectified

“Not at all!”

“Then what makes me believe that you’re not going to kill me in my sleep!”

Ink paused a second, kind of offended by the other’s skepticism when he just wanted to welcome him

Well, guess it can’t be helped

“I promise you that I will answer your questions tomorrow, It’s just that you might be exhausted from the constant travelling- the bruises and scars look like they just need a bit of attention, and you-“

He trailed off, citing multiple reasons why he needed a shelter from him, and error quickly cut him off

“Okay- okay- I get it”

It did make him feel a bit better though, considering ink takes his promises very seriously, so he might as well stay for a night

“Just ONE night”

He crossed his arms, and ink chuckled

“Sure, sure-“

He smiled

“Goodnight then, error”

*******

“well, how about we talk more about it in a more...private environment, yes?”

**********

ink belongs to @comyet​/ @myebi​

error belongs to @loverofpiggies​

dark cream belongs to @zu-is-here​

well, it took a while to update you guys, but i’m really happy about it!

error holds a huge grudge against ink- what is it? still haven’t finished that part yet guys ;D

also, the illustration is a spoiler for the next part focusing about ink, but as they say- it’s not a real spoiler if you have no context right ;)?

((remind me not to paint an illustration for a writing i haven’t updated in a while it just makes it worse))

also, the reason i haven’t drawn error once is because i can’t decide on a design he often hides his face with a very dark cape. i will give you guys a sheet with everyone’s faces (protagonists only) their mouths (the difference between their fangs) and their markings/eyelights

very exited to write more about ink though- it’s going to get interesting very soon ;)

first- previous- next

#art #my writing #my writings #my art #vampireAU dark cream #part 12 #ink #undertale multiverse #undertale au #UTMV #ink sans #ink!sans #error #error sans #error!sans #aaahh- #finally! #the illustration was going to be normal but guess what the body was blended into one layer- #i am so lucky for the background but still #i decided to paint over the layer and honestly it's not that bad this way either #i did forget to add something but it's very small so no biggie #this part was fun to write though #took a while but i still really like it #thank u guys for waiting <3