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savnofilter · 6 months

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Your Scent Is Sweeter | e. kirishima

Werewolf!Eijiro Kirishima x Virgin![FEM]Reader

CONTENT WARNING(S): sexual content, one shot, loss of virginity, kirishima likes how you smell, dry humping, hints of jealousy, spit (1), knot inflation, pull out method, mutual pining, friends -> lovers (?), established friendship.

COUNT: 3.4k words [13 mins.]

READ MORE: masterlist + [student masterlist]

A/N: ehhh i dont think i'll ever do this like an animal horny hybrid shit after the last few fics i have queued up. 😭 even if i do i'll def cringe it later probably anyways- ignore my hating… also this is a continuation from a draft over a year ago?? including the next two bakugo fics im going to post and the other dragon!kirishima fic so bare with me. this isnt even that bad LOL. thank you, anon!

How you and Kirishima first met was simple:

Two different hands reached out for the last skewer that sat on the hot grill, both stopping in hesitation at the presence of someone else. You both stopped and looked at each other, an awkward laugh coming from you as an equally shy smile graced his lips.

“Lady’s first!” He grinned at you, his sharp teeth showing as he blushed softly, stepping back. “Go ahead, I’ll just swing back later.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him, feeling butterflies in your chest as the cute male allowed you to grab it.

As much as you wanted to say something else, your brain short-circuited on coming up with anything. Part of you wanted to tease him and say he could take it, but you never pass up on an opportunity for food. Nevertheless, even if it was for a random cute guy. Plus you had spent the last few hours dancing and working up a sweat, you were sure you needed it more than him. As he stood to the side, you were able to pay and take your leave, waving to him as you disappeared into the crowd. One last glance was exchanged with him as you left him at the stand.

Typically, you wouldn't go to many events if it weren't for the festivals or known shows; but this one faithful New Year's festival when you were fresh into adulthood had proven you made the great decision to attend the celebration. Events between humans and werewolves were often rampant during popular holidays, the New Year being one of them.

There were many people around with many great food booths to compare. It was only a mere coincidence that you two seemed to be craving the same savory treat, kabobs.

After the first time you two had met, you started bumping into him more at cultural events. You hadn’t told anyone that you had met with this boy. At least you were sure he was around your age, young twenties or so, but there was no mistaking he had a few on you though not too much. The more you saw him at these gatherings, the connection between you two grew naturally, and it soon evolved into a friendship. No one knew about this friendship and to your friends he was merely regarded as something akin to a hallway crush. What they didn't know was that you two had been seeing each other for about two years now, doing various things together as a private friendship. It was no surprise the once innocent feelings you had for him slowly turned into a crush each time you two met. Luckily enough for you, today was one of the days when you two could catch up and you were more than ready to see him again.

You bit your lip as you sat on the cut-down tree stump, one of the many things that made him complain. Something about humans defiling the woods by making modifications that didn’t need to be made. Oftentimes when you met him, he ranted about different things, all things to be exact. Even with his rambling nature, he had other sides to him. You saw him chill, you saw him happy, you’ve seen him angry and you’ve seen him annoyed. But the ‘mood’ he approached you with today was something different. It was… feral. In a way, you couldn’t explain it.

“E-Evening, Kirishima.” You smile up at him as he walks up to you, holding up the basket you brought for him. “I made your favorite, they’re still hot just how you like them!” You open the basket to show him the goodies, scooching over on the big seat to give him room to sit down. He was quiet today, stiff too. You tried not to show your concern as he picked up the bag and sniffed it. It was times like these when you could pay close attention to the way his face looked, admiring the roundness of his cheeks that complimented his sharp jaw.

Kirishima only grunts as he sits away from you, his quiet and fidgety demeanor worrying you a bit. Your eyes observed his statue that had a light sheen of sweat layering his tanned skin that was visible to the eyes, his brows scrunched angrily. His facial expression was one of heavy frustration even with how much he tried to hide it. Whatever he was trying to find using his snout appeared to not have been found, and he was once again on the hunt to find the source.

Kirishima proceeds to start sniffing again, this time pulling away to smell somewhere else. You couldn’t help but stare as his behavior was odd, flinching a bit when his nose led to sniffing around you. You tried to stay calm as he got closer, shifting awkwardly as you contemplated the right moment to ask about his demeanor. His breathing seemed a bit ragged too, his chest rising and falling as he avoided contact with you, even visually.

“You’re… in heat.”

If he couldn’t see the blush on your face you could certainly feel it.

“....what?"

“I can smell it, you’re aroused...” Eijiro responds simply. "And you smell really good."

He was still standing as he towered over you. He rested the basket next to you and didn’t move, his eyes dark with a glint you haven’t seen before. His hand comes up cup your jaw, his palm hot against your skin. You play with your sleeves as you grow flustered, laughing nervously as the thought of being in a lewd situation with the black-haired male starts to run through your head.

“Eijiro…” You start, looking up at him as he makes you look up at him by tilting your head up. You felt as though you were caught stealing from a cookie jar, hands covered in crumbs as you tried to hide the emotions stirring inside you that he could very obviously sense.

His lips spare you the process of trying to come up with something to say as he presses his mouth against yours. You felt something spark as he did, your hands that were once clenched at your chest held his shoulders, stabilizing yourself when he forces you to lay down on the large tree stump you sat on. You tried to keep up with his kisses, opening up your mouth to let him in, fearing the pain of accidentally poking something if you chose to let your tongue wander in his. You moaned as his tongue poked and prodded in your hot cavern, his hands moving to grip your thighs to spread them apart as he got between them.

You hadn't noticed how big his body was, being so exposed to it so many times in such a friendly setting compared to this one. You daydreamed about this moment but never did you think it would happen so soon. Your heart hammers in your chest upon feeling his lips move so softly against yours, caring even. You could tell that he was the skilled one between you two and his kind way of gentleness showed with his fervent kisses. Unfortunately for him though, you didn't nearly have as much lung capacity as him to continue this unbroken kiss.

One of your hands on his shoulders taps him as an indicator for a breather, the doting male taking the message. Your labored breaths mix with his as your eyes can't help but be glued to his in desperation. A timid mewl is ripped from your lips when his hands that once respectfully rested on the sides of your hips swoop down to grip the back of your thighs and reach behind you to squeeze your bum. Kirishima growls as the scent of your arousal heightens, his gaze darkening as he prepares himself to fuck you.

"I-I didn't want to pounce on you like this but you smell so good." Kirishima rambles as his hands start to grope at your clothed skin. You couldn't do anything but just lay there and take it, watching up at him with curious eyes.

His strong and calloused hands trail up your body to grope your chest through your clothes, the heavy weight of his hands bringing a rush of excitement straight to your core. Whilst he fondles you he successfully manages to slide closer to you between your legs, your thighs resting on his as he gets comfortable. You bite your lip feeling his hard length now pressing against your core, a taunting sensation between the layers of clothes that restricts you. While your hands never left his shoulders his hands happily roamed your body.

From when he was fondling you, he was able to unbutton some of your blouse, the top of your cleavage now exposed to him, and the beautiful light of the moon from atop the sky. You feel tightening in your chest as oxygen starts to run out from kissing for so long, your hands lightly pushing him away. He pulls away with a light growl that marks his excitement. Kirishima hadn't slept with humans often but had to remind himself that he had to be gentle…. at first.

"Do you want this, Y/N?" Eijiro holds your chin to have you look up at him. You lightly gulp in excitement at the feeling of his rough hands on your jawline, a more than ready nod coming from you.

"I want to, Eiji." You're not even sure how you managed to maintain eye contact after relaying that. Until now, you had only kissed other people but other than that it never went further. There wasn't much left to ponder about his experience in these activities, though. "Just be gentle, this is my first time, okay?"

He visibly portrays his shock at the revelation with a dropped jaw but quickly recovers by nodding his head in understanding. If anything, this is one of the best news he's heard in a while. Now it wasn't often that Kirishima thought about your sex life. When he did think about you having sex, other partners were never in the equation. Just purely you and him. Though on his part he was assuming your experience—it was just Ludacris to him that no one has gotten that far with you yet considering he could tell the way most of the males around you acted.

Those festivals where he'd watch you from afar and get a jealous flutter in his chest fell testament to this, later his anger fueling into pure neediness in the comfort of his bedroom. He'd be straight-up lying if he said he wasn't crushing on you hard. You were as sweet as ever, pretty with a physique that suited you nicely, a smile that he fell in love with on the first day, and god you always smelled so good. Even in times when he'd playfully chase you down and you'd try and push him away in embarrassment of odor, it was that exact husk that drew him in closer. The pull that made him want to pin you down and fuck you raw.

Kirishima grips your hand and kisses the back of it as he stares deeply into your eyes. "Of course, anything for you."

You softly sucked in a breath feeling his hot hand slip down to palm your sex, the sensation so very foreign to you. Undoubtedly he could certainly sense the wetness through your clothes, another animalistic growl coming from him. He palms you in preparation for his eventual fucking, skilled hands rubbing at your labia and then playing with your clit. Your body jolts at the pleasure you receive from that certain area, a pained whimper in desperation slipping from your lips as you clawed at him.

His deft fingers easily rubbed against your clothed core, determined to get you hot and ready for him. His eyes watch down in a predatory gaze as he watches your expressions for any behavior change, his pupils dilating in hunger as he watches your body open more and more for him. Once he's done pawing at you he presses his crouch right against yours, the heat and weight of his confined cock stirring a whimper from within you. You tilt your head back, hands still stuck on him as you pull him closer to your body instinctively. Kirishima wordlessly leans in to press more animalistic kisses to your neck, now utilizing his sharp teeth to nip and bite at your skin. He groans against your sweet skin as you start to grind against him as well, a revelation now settling in that you were impossibly sensitive in all areas of your neck.

Usually by now, Kirishima would've fucked whoever was underneath him into oblivion already, but he was purposely taking it slower. He needed to tease and punish you for not being his any sooner. To make him wait so long to get between your luscious and squeezable thighs.

"Eijiro," A louder moan encourages him when he roughly nips at the conjuncture of where your neck and collarbone meet, the sensation sending a hot shiver down your spine. Mixed with the friction of his heavy hips against yours you're shaking under him, eyes prickling with tears as an unfamiliar feeling starts to wash over you. "W-Wait—!" You try to tap his shoulder, the act has him unmoving as he himself already knew what you were experiencing.

Kirishima leans up to witness the pleasurable experience wash over you, greedily taking in the fact it was him to accomplish it without even having to do anything. In seconds he's gripping your jaw and having you look at him as he places another searing kiss against your lips. You're sloppily meeting him halfway there with no doubt that his tongue has all the right to overpower yours. Your hands are lost in his hair whilst his are impatiently ripping off your clothes ready to take you under the moonlight.

A line of saliva connects you two when he pulls away, the small connection popping when he licks his lips. Your mouth and skin tasted so sweet, that he'd have to remind himself to eat you out next time, preferably somewhere more romantic and private.

The male on top of you grunts as the cool air of the night hits his now exposed schlong, the naked member twitching at the sensation. It was a reminder that he needed it in somewhere warm and his solution was right in front of him. He groans once the scent of your fresh arousal hits his nose, it now being stronger than ever with your hot cunny in line of sight for him. You were a sight to behold, truly. Skin littered with his bite marks, a light sheen of sweat coating your skin and your pussy dripping in need for him.

"Do you want it?" Kirishima asks with a growl in his voice. You had just come down from an orgasm and he didn't want to rush you.

"Give it to me, Eiji."

He doesn't have the balls to play with you anymore and gets straight to it. He presses his bulbous head against your opening, rubbing it up and down your pussy lips as he tries to loosen you up. "Relax."

You bite your bottom lip and try to do as told, eyes glued to his raging hard cock. You hadn't seen a cock before now but you were a hundred percent sure this was the prettiest you have and will ever see. You shiver when he pokes his tip at your clit, the sensitivity from before making you squirm. Your eyes flicker up as you watch him spit on his cock for more lubrication, mixing the substance with your arousal and his precum to make it easier for you to take.

"I'm going in--fuck." Kirishima breathes out as he inserts his dick into your gummy walls, the squeezing around him has him reeling in pleasure. With no remorse, he grips the back of your thighs and presses them against your body in a mating press, a deep groan rumbling in his chest as your cunt swallows his cock in this position. He tilts his head back as he slowly and surely rocks the rest of his length into your awaiting cunt, the ecstasy he was experiencing had never been felt before. It was almost reminiscent of the first time he had lost his virginity except this felt exponentially better.

His hands nearly rip your shirt open to show your breasts to him, the restriction of your clothes around your breasts making them perk up for him. He licks his lips as your nipples harden even more at the attention. Your tits bounce with each thrust as he slowly tries to ease himself in, his excitement making it hard for him to stay patient.

Your breathy moans are the only thing he can hear and focus on, totally zoning out on anything around him. Everything about you felt too good. The way you wrapped around his cock, how your hands gripped at him, the desperation in your voice, and the way that you felt under his hands was intoxicating. Kirishima had been waiting for this for so long and he could finally have it, have you. With patience, he was able to start rocking his hips faster and deeper into your cunt. The lewd noise of your pussy squelching with every thrust encouraged him to do more, to fuck you more passionately.

His lips were busy marking up your skin not caring about the complaining you might have for later. Earlier when he was eagerly trying to take off your clothes he tried his best not to rip your clothes off but there was no guarantee his (kind) gesture came to fruition. That minuscule dilemma will be something to deal with when you both get there.

His hand dips down to mindlessly play with your sensitive bean, humming in satisfaction when it elicits a sharper moan from you. You're grinding your hips against his with vigor, body shameless in the pleasure it receives from him. Your eyes could barely focus on anything specific as the male you once considered a friend completely obliterates your cunt. Tears prickle at your eyes as you start to feel an intense sensation that washed over your body not too long ago.

"E-Eiji," You pant out, head lifting lightly from the wood.

Kirishima's head immediately lifts from your skin and looks up at you, you two millimeters apart from each other's faces. "You close, babe?"

You nod frantically and wrap your legs around his waist, locking him in closer. He groans at how well you're able to take him, the new position allowing you to take in his cock fully. He softly coos as you try to stick it out, a pained but pleasured expression adorning your features.

"Cum on my cock, baby."

The buzzing in your system doesn't die down, everywhere in your body feels as though it's on fire. You're engulfed in everything he gives you and refuse to let this moment go. Your body is raging with white-hot arousal as you come undone with the help of a few thrusts and his fondling. You groan happily as he grips your thighs and presses them against your body again, an unfamiliar swelling at the base of his cock forming at the base of his cock and slamming against your pussy with each thrust. You peek down to see the inflation, a bit of worry rushing into your system.

Kirishima cusses as he lets go of one of your legs and pulls out, his spunk immediately spilling onto your pubic area and pussy, successfully covering you in his load. You whimper at how much there is, some getting on your clothes and the already defiled tree trunk from the spillage. You felt yucky with all the sweat and fluids and felt like it was prime time to go to sleep.

You shyly make eye contact with him and let out a nervous giggle, happily welcoming an approaching kiss as he leans in to take your lips against his. You two gradually come down from your high, your body now slumped against the flat surface of the massive cut-down tree.

You two will figure out what you are later.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader #werewolf!kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha oneshots #mha oneshots #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #n/sfw #sav's sins

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neo-neos · 1 year

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My BL journey so far

Okay kids gather round, get comfortable. This is a long one.

Disclaimer/background info: I started watching BL about a month ago-ish. I don't remember the exact date but I believe I started last month or maybe the end of the month before. So I am still a bit of a noob and trying to catch up with watching things. I am also a very chaotic person which you will probably find out by the way this is structured/written. Lastly, even though I do study/teach English for a living, it is not my first language.

Okay with that out of the way, let's dive in.

Backstory/introduction

Like any good story I feel like a bit of backstory/intro might be a good idea. Hi, on the internet I mostly go by the nickname Peach, however I created this blog when I got into BL and have adopted yet another fruit as a new nickname for this side of my personality/identity which is Lychee. I don't really mind which one you use. I'm 24 years old and I am Dutch (the Netherlands). As mentioned in the disclaimer I teach English but I am also still a student, I plan on studying more after this because I love learning new things and especially about languages and cultures. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and mostly identify as Bisexual or Pansexual. I use she/her pronouns. When I was about... 13-14 ish I rolled into the K-pop fandom. I used to listen to bands like SHINee, Super Junior, EXO, BAP, Infinite, Girls Generation, 2ne1, Block B... I was a real fangirl if you ask me HAHA. In this time I also watched a Kdrama or two here and there. Favorites being: Heartstrings and Shut up flower boy band. (I was never too into Kdrama back then). I also used Tumblr back then, I have a literal 12 year old tumblr account with almost 50K posts that I used during my K-pop times. I stopped using tumblr quite a while ago too but that blog is still there. I would reblog gifs and pics and what not about my biases and ships. But as interests do sometimes, it faded into the background and I fully stopped keeping up and listening to K-pop. It has literally been 10 years now.

But then...

One random afternoon I was bored at home and wanted to watch something new. I randomly realized Kdramas existed and so my journey to find one began. I stumbled upon Semantic Error and almost by accident decided to read the little description and the tags that were with it. My eyebrows furrowed for a minute before I could feel my eyes widen: "WAIT THE TWO BOYS... IT'S... GAY???" I could almost not believe what I saw. Obviously back in my K-pop times every band had ships and pairings you fangirled over, Baekyeol or ChanBaek, 2Min, JongKey... You know what I mean...You fangirled over every random moment they were together but that was as far as that went. So you could maybe imagine my excitement when I realized that Korea has come far enough to actually make BL shows now. So without further thoughts I watched Semantic Error. And because it was the first BL I saw I fell in love with it, the story was good, the acting was good, the fluff was to die for. An all round great experience to start off with.

Little did I know...

After this experience I was obviously hungry for more. So, I turned to the internet to tell me where they had been hiding this secret stash of everything I ever wanted in Kdrama... And boy was I surprised with the results. This was the moment I found out that not only Korea but also Japan, Thailand, Taiwan and China made BL shows... And not just 1 or 2... The choices were endless. My journey continued with (either... I kinda forgor...) Don't say no and Love by Chance. This was my first experience with NC scenes too. I had no idea that Thailand already took the step to also go into a little more 18+ when it comes to BL and to be fair... I was kind of excited about it. Now that I have seen more BLs I guess you could argue that neither Don't say no and Love by Chance are the best BLs ever made but at the time I was completely hooked on them.

And so began...

An insane marathon sprint. By this time I wanted more more more and that's what I consumed. I watched some more Kbl, some Japanese BL and some more Thai BL's as well. Until I hit KinnPorsche and that's when I realized how hooked I actually was on this new comfort genre I had just discovered. KinnPorsche allowed me to put the shows I had watched for far into perspective. Most BLs have the university students falling in love drama vibe... KinnPorsche was something completely different and boy did I fall in love, and hard too. This show quite honestly changed a lot of things for me. I went from 'I'm just casually watching these shows' to 'Oh I might be a little obsessed now' and after finishing KP I realized I wanted even more and I could no longer deny that I was becoming a part of the BL fandom.

So where we are now...

In the past month I have spent every free second of my day watching shows. Binging one after the other. I was lucky to have a week off during this time too and I have managed to COMPLETE 32 BLs between then and now. 5 currently watching shows I try and keep up with and a TO WATCH list of 40+ shows. (aka: obsessed much?)

In the meantime I have made a BL twitter and a BL tumblr (this one) to find out more about the BLs I watched or am watching currently, but also to keep up with new ones coming out. I have realized that because of how badly I want to keep up with things I SUCK at remembering names. If the show did not leave a big impression on me I can also easily forget the whole storyline of some. This in addition to people talking about ship names but also IRL ship names using actors real names makes it quite hard to keep up sometimes.

The community...

I also made these accounts in the hopes to interact with the community. This part has been quite a challenge for me. I have never been the most extraverted person (both irl and online) but I am one of those people that is almost desperate to make friends (that sounds a bit sad but hear me out.) I love talking to people (< but you said you're introvert.. I know again, hear me out) but I have absolutely no idea how to behave in order to make friends. I am often too shy to interact with people so I just kind of pull myself back and hope someone reaches out first. As soon as they do there's a good chance I will latch onto them without mercy. I have realized that I am afraid I do not fit in sometimes within this community (mostly on twitter to be honest) I see a lot of very knowledgeable people when it comes to BL shows and I am too afraid to interact. Here on tumblr and twitter I also (after literally 10 years) realize how talented people are when it comes to making gifs, edits and translations. Something I did not really think much about when I was using Tumblr 10 years ago. I have so much admiration for what people make but at the same time I feel like being a cheerleader from the sidelines by reblogging/retweeting I cannot match up to them too. Now I am obviously very new to BL and the community and I have actually met some lovely people already. I guess I just want too much too fast haha!

BL as a whole... (Disclaimer: The things I talk about are not just directed at BL alone, the issues I list are VERY MUCH also alive in Hetero shows and I would like to see change there too. But to keep on the topic of BL I list them here with my reasoning)

Realizing how far these countries have come when it comes to even making shows about LGBTQ+ is an awesome thing to see. Like I said before I come from the time where all I could really do is ship two band members together and fangirl over them sitting next to each other basically. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community myself and I live in a country is supposed to be very accepting so it is nice to see the steps different cultures are taking as well. However I do feel we are not there yet in the way they portray things. Consent (this is obviously not only a BL problem) has been a bit of an issue for me in some shows. Power dynamics - My main issue show for this one was Cutie Pie (not very sure how to elaborate further) NC scenes - Still being quite unrealistic sometimes, you really cannot tell me that bottoming is something you do without preparation of any sort. Only gay for xxx -> Straight but gay for this one man is not exactly how sexuality works. I feel like it might kind of give off the wrong idea as well. I do see that some of these trends are turning to the right direction (Between Us being a good example for consent for example)

Now I obviously know that these are fictional stories so please don't come for my throat over this. I am just listing a few things I have noticed in my journey.

The shows...

Now I would like to use this last little section here to mention and give my thoughts (positive and negative) about some shows I have seen. Let's start with the good shall we.

KinnPorsche -> I have mentioned this show before but I would like to do it again. I fell in love with this show, the actors are amazing, the storyline is great, the chemistry between the couples, the diversity in the storyline, the humor, the serious moments... It has so much and the casting they did for this show is a legit 10/10 Apo is such an amazing actor, Mile is his perfect match for the role and don't even get me started on the rest of the cast I would probably pull up an entire powerpoint presentation.

Life-Love on the line -> Is a Japanese BL that I related to quite a lot. The entire story of how two boys fall in love and grow up together, one becoming more serious while the other stays quite 'childlike' hit me right in the feels (I don't want to spoil things) It was such a beautiful story to be fair.

Semantic Error -> My first BL and what a great start to have to be honest. Need I say more?

Bad Buddy -> I loved this one because of the storyline and the awesome chemistry between the characters. It showed an amazing story of how sometimes you need to put your prejudice thoughts aside to find something beautiful.

Blueming -> The way this story unfolds made me fall even deeper in love with Kbls to be honest. The way this was filmed was just so beautiful.

Roommates of Poongduck -> I was a little hesitant in the beginning of this one. The storyline description did not grab my attention and after seeing how KBL is often focused more on the story than on the passionate kisses for instance it took me a moment to get into it. But we have all seen the kissing scene (that they robbed us of to be fair) and the chemistry between the characters had me sobbing while having the biggest grin on my face.

I told sunset about you -> When I got a little deeper into my research the name of this BL kept popping up everywhere and it obviously got me curious. Boy oh boy this was such a beautiful story I cannot even begin to explain. The exploration of sexuality, gender, love and friendship in this one... Ugh ugh ugh.

Not me -> A masterpiece. The themes, the storyline. They touch upon heavy topics while also maintaining an entertaining series. It's so good.

Love in the air -> Okay so, MOST of the shows above have a lot of deeper messages or storylines and love in the air might feel out of place. WRONG. Sky's storyline shows quite a bit of deeper meaning and I think it was done really well. The other part of why I like this show is because of the actors. They really did such an amazing job with this one and I cannot wait to see more of them.

ChocoMilkShake -> (up until last ep) this was my comfort show. I kind of ignored the dark side of them leaving and just focused on all the cute stuff but I just love it. They better give me a happy ending though!

Between Us -> I have seen UWMA and I must say that although the story was very very beautiful and touching and heavy... I did not vibe with the insane drama as much as I would have hoped. I did however enjoy the WinTeam moments quite a bit. And then BOOM Between Us happened and I am having a blast with this one. Consent being a big plus. The storyline is good, there has not been (knock on wood) unnecessary drama (I was afraid this would happen with the overhearing half a conversation thing they were giving us but I am SO happy to see it was done in a mature way). I love it.

And now for some shows I would like to give a tiny piece of my mind. DISCLAIMER: These are opinions you can ignore, I am not shitting on actors whatsoever, this is mostly targeted towards writing/storyline. THE ACTORS DID NOTHING WRONG!! I am okay with people asking questions about it though (: I also do not JUST shit on the shows I talk about here, I point out some things and also say what I DID like about it

Lovely writer -> This show holds a scene that I find THE MOST frustrating one I have seen so far. "Let me explain" -Silence- "I can explain" -Silence- "Wait don't leave" -Silence-.... If you have seen the show you probably know what I'm referring to. This is what I mean with unnecessary drama. Characters being angry at each other for longer than needed or for a reason that does not make sense. The rest of the show was okay. I don't hate the show but it frustrated me more than that I enjoyed it.

Big Dragon -> The first episode had me screaming. The NC scene, the open kink representation on this one made me so excited. It felt like the next step towards representation for kinks within the genre... And then that slowly died off. The scene where Yai is with the girl that (I suppose) normally helps him with his kink and then the bathroom scene where Mangkorn orders Yai around were 10/10 too but then it was gone and we were back to quite the normal BL plotline again which I found very sad. In the later episodes I also missed the chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn. I fucking LOVE MosBank together like... They are legit amazing actors and I would love to see them again in something different. I am just a little disappointed in the storyline progression.

Cutie pie -> The power dynamic in this show was not really my style. The controlling BF type deal was a bit hard to watch at times. and I KNOW that this entire show is about breaking free of that but the fact that there it is needed in the first place and the lying and secrets.. it was all a bit much for me. However the casting was really good. The chemistry between the characters/actors is awesome and everyone played their role really well!

To my star -> NOW BEFORE YOU BEHEAD ME, HEAR ME OUT. I love this show. I actually love this show. It is really good. But there are some small things that made me frustrated sometimes. Talking about feelings is hard and I do get that 110% but it sometimes felt quite frustrating and left me with a little bit of a bad feeling. I really hope that this show teaches people that you can only really move forward by talking about your feelings instead of running away from them.

Together with me -> The controlling, dramatic, witch female role. Now again, hear me out. The show is great! The chemistry is there, the acting is 10/10 the casting is 10/10 but it has an element I would like to discuss that I have seen in multiple BLs as well. Now I get that the girl is mad, right. Her BF literally cheats on her (shame on u) but the entire master plan the girls come up with like... damn girls... That's all I really have to say about it. Not all women become murderous, petty witches.

TharnType -> From homophobic to being almost assaulted into a gay relationship. Again casting 10/10, chemistry 10/10. But I see this storyline quite a bit too in deluded forms. Consent is a BIG issue in this show for me. Then there is the "I am only okay with this gay guy" idea too that just kinda made me pull some faces at my screen at times.

If you have made it this far... I'm so sorry?

As for now, I think I have written enough about my BL journey so far, if you DID actually read this far and have any questions about it, feel free to ask. I am willing to discuss anything and everything as long as we respect each others views (:

This post is also an invitation to whoever wants to connect. I really do love making friends and my DMs (here and on twitter or if you want to connect on a different platform let me know) are always open. You can literally go in there without context and go: GIIIIRL LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT... and I will reply as if we've been besties for years I really do not mind skipping the awkward first stages of interaction.

My DMs (+replies) are also open for:

Show recs (dm me your fav show and a little description on why it's your fav show and why I should love it too!)

Questions regarding this post or me personally

FanFic recs (If you have written something pls show it to me I love to read!

Seeing my watched list, currently watching list or to watch list for the curious cats (: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Thank you so much for reading and for now I cannot wait to see what the BL community has in store for me ♥

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tirednotflirting · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,022 times in 2022

303 posts created (10%)

2,719 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caramelcalum

@daydadahlias

@burstingsunrise

@calumsash

@pxrxmoore

I tagged 2,615 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#l - 335 posts

#5sos - 205 posts

#a - 168 posts

#c - 126 posts

#h - 97 posts

#m - 68 posts

#cake - 60 posts

#tmh22 - 53 posts

#lashton - 30 posts

#cashton - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#y’all ever have something you reference all the time around people you only ever remember have no idea what you’re talking about until after

My Top Posts in 2022:

hi look at him

thank you

46 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

a fic rec list that quite literally no one asked for

I’ve felt incredibly uninspired lately with fic. It’s a shit feeling. I may just be done writing. TBD. But as I’ve been sitting around trying to determine my feelings on fic, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how I read fic. I’ve been reading it for awhile. I like to think that even in the 5SOS space, I’ve read a really good variety of things. So I wanted to make note of the fics that come to mind when I think of fics that have inspired me/made me feel something/are just really good. This probably will not be very organized and I apologize for that now.

I’ve been very VERY lucky to get to know a few of the folks whose works I mention here. I feel so grateful to have had even small glimpses into your creative processes. Just before the world Stopped a couple years ago, I was shuffling toward a mindset of writing off fan fiction as a thing of my younger years and I’m thankful that so many people metaphorically hit me over the head with their incredible works.

there’s some 1D, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, and also solo 1D boys in here. i think a lot of them are at least a touch nsfw at points but not all of them? yeah. i think everything that is is noted of on the pages they link to? certainly not an exhaustive list of my favorites but these were the ones on my mind today.

Okay, in probably a really strange, completely non-linear order, here we go.

sugar on the asphalt by @justanchorandhope

I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the love in my heart for this fic. this is the fic (and writer tbh) that kept me around on tumblr in 2013 and is the perfect example of everything i loved about 1D fic back in the day. an OC to die for, the perfect dash of so many different tropes, CUPCAKES, southern charm, it has it all. just the sweetest cast of characters. i cannot believe i was 15 when this fic was first posted and now i’m 24 and re-reading this still feels like a curling up with a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

okay basically everything written by @harryandmolly but specifically the following:

like the back of my hand + fear and loathing in mandeville canyon

okay so fun fact i was so thrown off the first time i read the first fic listed there (the second one listed is a sorta AU of the first one taking place in early pandemic/lockdown times btw) bc the OC’s bff uses the exact same nickname i used in high school. okay but Lilly is a GOD TIER OC. i love a story that takes place over a really long period of time + really shows the progression of a relationship. also super random but as a woman in my mid-20s with crazy unrealistic dreams of living in a big gorgeous house with all my friends, the descriptions of the house Lilly lives in make my heart sing. for a story that takes place in a totally normal version of the world, the world building (maybe the wrong term here idk) in this is so great.

i could write it better than you ever felt it

three words: warped tour au. no but seriously there’s this blanket of nostalgia over this whole fic bc of the setting that is so fucking fun (she says having never gone to warped tour but shhhhh). another bright and brilliant OC, SO many lovable side characters, really driving plot. reading this feels like summer in all the best ways. (+ a brilliant sequel of sorts.) perfectly captures silly punk boys + hayley williams is there just being the goddess that she is. my introduction to jasey rae lol. so many things and all of them so great.

the emancipation of ginny

got momentarily distracted reading the teaser sorry i’m back now. ginny: bad ass and gorgeous business woman lady navigating being the assistant for an international pop star who is also her ex. andrew gertler is so stressed the whole time. i like a story that jumps around in time and this one does it in such a unique way. the writing in this is STUNNING, i feel like i am in every scene feeling the misty fog in london and the sun in my eyes on a summer festival tour. a Masterpiece imo. also the niall in this is wonderful in all the ways he can be + taylor swift shows up for a minute.

perfect teeth by @stylesmoothie

why yes i am in fact linking you to MIBBA bc 1DFF was the only other place to really find this i think rip to our fallen hero and what a throwback adlskfjdsl. i am NOT joking when i say that i literally cried when people started reblogging around the final update for this a few years back bc it had been like 5 years since this fic was updated. this fic holds such a special place in heart (as so many 1D fics from this era do). ezra is a brilliant OC and her story is SO GREAT. something i loved about ~this era~ of 1D fic was how expansive the backstories for the OCs were and ezra’s especially just made me fall in love with her. i remember that reading the conclusion to this story (so many years after starting it) felt like this beautiful sense of closure. i had very few constants in my later teenage years but stories like this one were one of them. love love love this story.

(took a brief pause so anna and i could hunt down an old zayn fic from back in the day slkdfjlds leesh came to our rescue bless her)

nom de plume by @stylesprimes

another fic that truly feels like it just? defined an era of my life???? (just had to do some internet wizardry to verify this was a 2014 fic lol) another OC with just the most sick backstory and story told throughout the fic. in this era of fic i was a HUGE fan of the harry styles london indie crew kinda fic. could not tell you why aside from how fucking cool i thought alexa chung was. you really get to see everyone make mistakes and grow in this story which i really admire from both a reader and a writer standpoint. like that’s not easy to do sdlfkjdsl. i love all the twists and turns and it’s a story i love returning to every once in awhile. cecilia’s experiences in this are so so unique and i’ve never really read anything quite like this story. the dynamic between the characters and just the overall vibe of ndp has always been so novel. i love it.

scene 14 by @daydadahlias

this FIC OH MY GOD. so backstory: i feel like i was the last person to read jess fic esp this one like. i was so intimidated by the fact that everyone had already read this and i had all of this knowledge of the vibe and how much everyone loved this that reading this almost felt like being introduced to a friend of a friend, ya know? this fic is Stunning. like i didn’t think it would be possible to be so impressed by college au world building at this point in my life (i’ve been reading college AUs for like. literally over a decade) but this little world that jess created was SO immersive. these characters were all so bright and i loved and cared for each and every one of them despite how many there were. i laughed, i cried. reading this reminded me why i love fan fiction and i feel so SO grateful to be in this fic space at the same time as jess.

love would burn this city down for you by @calumcest

helen has shared so many amazing stories but this one is always going to be my favorite. there’s so much soul and heart and love in this short little piece. i barely have the words for it. i started writing myself bc i felt inspired by the space that helen was helping to create a couple years ago and it’s pieces like this that i think had a lot of influence on the style i would try to adopt in certain ways. she’s so great at showing love in the little, quiet ways. pieces like this one feel like a secret and i’m so thankful i get to be in on it.

another night of takeout by @roselirry

lol i’ve had the second part of this bookmarked on my computer for MANY years and just realized there was a third part to it i had never read. this is a niall fic, little slices of three different days from the perspective of Vee, niall’s assistant in a solo era world. reminds me of a lot of the reasons i love the emancipation of ginny. one of my favorite tropes, a bit of that ‘omg they’re so in love but just refuse to really fully acknowledge it’ kinda situation. only three little bits in this but through the bits of background you get such a FULL story (despite the fact that it’s technically not finished i think?). SUCH a comfort read, i’ve read this so many times that it feels like a cozy, worn cardigan. (also i’ve historically been SUPER picky with my niall fic and this one has really stood the test of time for me)

all the things yet to come by soysauceharry

so i’ve never been a big self insert fic kinda girl. i think i just started out with OC fic so it was just this foreign thing to me for so long. i’m also a very big character person so when a character is really vague for the purpose to trying to be easy to fit a variety of looks and/or personalities into, i struggle to find enjoyment in it at times. but jesus christ, this story is cool. for me, reading this story gives the vibe of like a dream where you’re watching yourself do something? so despite the fact that it’s written in the second person, i don’t feel like i’m watching the story from the eyes of the OC. also despite all of the ‘you’s i just have never read this as a true self insert. i have an MC in my head that is very much a unique character. MC is a graduate psych student, Harry is her graduate advisor for a min and then later just a colleague. follows MC through her graduate studies. the setting and the story are just so pretty and lifelike. i think i read this for the first time in the winter while i was still in school which added a lot to the vibe. i return to this whenever i want cozier vibes.

If you dance with me darling, if you take me home… Will we talk in the morning? by @kaleidoscopeminds

i love a meg fic for so so many reasons. i love this one especially bc the tone of it to me feels like how you tell the story of a fun night out. it feels fun and silly like the stories you tell the night after the night out about all the wild shit you did in the early hours of that same day. i’ve always been very fond of this fic because meg posted it when i was feeling very VERY down about the world and it just made me smile. this fic feels like laughs after shots idk how to describe it just good fun. she is the cake QUEEN but i always found so much inspo in her earlier lashton pieces. they remind me of all the good things about summer 2020. i’m glad they can still take me back to those times of first getting to know some of the folks that i just love so dearly now (baggy salt forever <3)

sail the wildest stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

See the full post

47 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

hi i would like to discuss

thank you

119 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

5sos playing the same fest as green day, good charlotte, and blink???? can someone check on those boys omg???

124 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i can’t believe ashton is the cutest dude on the planet and we just have to deal w that

227 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #my year in review #truly my top tag being my luke tag is hilarious #and by like…a lot alsjdldj

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scolopendress-tag · 3 years

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I said I'd make a post detailing my kid Asra working for Lucio theory in this post so here it is!

So Let's get STARDED.

So! To start off, how it began. We do know when Asra and Muriel were kids, Lucio came to them each seperately with a deal.

Essentially: work for me, or I'll hurt your friend.

This was the sentiment he repeated for both of them. So, not wanting the other to be harmed, they both agree - unaware of the other's deal.

For Muriel, it was playing heel/excecutioner at the coleseium. For Asra, it was doing... Well, we never know, aside from he worked under Lucio. But that's what we are here to discuss in any case.

Continued under the read more, for the sake of people's dashes.

Now presumably, if I got my timeline right, Asra at this time would've been around 12 or 13. We don't know much about how Asra was when he was younger, other than that he has certainly changed.

It's also worth noting that it's not amiss to say they were both also still homeless at the time, and the hut hadn't come into the play until after.

Asra was still living on the streets.

This all isn't overly important for any of my claims later, but perhaps someone else could make something of it. It does provide us with some framing for the situation as a whole, though.

Now onto Asra's time under Lucio. I don't know that we have any indication of how long it was, but presumably at least a year if not more.

We do also know that Lucio knew who Asra was. Both in that he knew Aisha and Salim had a kid, and that he knew Asra was said kid.

This is bring this up because we know Aisha and Salim were incredibly talented, and likely incredibly powerful. Lucio wouldn't settle for any run of the mill magician or alchemist for the work he needed. So he must've had some idea that Asra may take after that power as well.

To top it off, he also interacted and talked with the dock kids he also used, (two of which would actually later become palace guards,) and seeing as this is seemingly how he learned of Muriel, it's not off to think that this is also how he heard of Asra again to start. The kids knew of Asra's magic, and roughly where he was, and could've even continued talking about both Muriel and Asra to Lucio for unknown amounts of time.

So now Lucio knows that the kid of his two powerful practitioners of magic is not only still around, but taking after them as well.

If Muriel's intimidating size and physical power are what drew Lucio to him, why wouldn't Asra's considerable metaphysical power and talents draw Lucio in as well?

We know how much Lucio loves power, and that he has an interest in magic because of it, as mentioned in the main story. (no ss sorry... If you have one send so I can add. )

Plus, homeless kid in a vulnerable spot. Easy pickings.

That's what I think this whole thing was about, really. It's all power. Though Asra likely didn't have the full scope of power he does in the current game, he was probably still considerably talented, and was only getting better.

What Lucio specifically probably wanted from Asra then was either to be taught how to use that power, to use Asra for things that required it, and/or use his power for entertainment akin to how he used Muriel.

I think out of these however, using him for his power was most likely. Why? (And teaching him now, more on that further down)

(Sorry for bad quality lmao it's a small image. Also thanks to @8-bit-space for showing these to me like months ago. As you can see I can't stop thinking abt it)

These are screenshots from the old prologue. While they're not canon any more, there's reason to believe they still hold merit as to how Lucio feels about Asra.

Two things to me are major here. First is the "powerful potent magic," and how it's the "real deal," equating to a large part of how he views Asra yet again tying back to a heavy interest in his power. Now, you could argue this relates to using his powers in the palace during the plague, but the second point stands out even more to me.

"The one who broke him for me?"

What this implies to me is that Lucio could never quite get all the way through to Asra or control him when he was younger, and he's been dying to do so. He wanted Asra broken, presumably so that he'll become essentially a tool for him to use for his skill and not put up a fight- something Asra likely did as a child.

Because it seems that Lucio for the most part relied on control through fear when it came to Asra, threatening to hurt Muriel, lying to him about how he executed his parents, likely other things as well. But things seem to point to that never quite working like he had hoped.

This could allude to this as well. Though "impossible" is something Asra's been called a few times, namely also by Julian, there's no reason to assume Lucio wasn't also including his work with him as a kid in "always". Impossible to hate could be his draw to Asra for his power, his talent, his skills, the prospect of which I'm sure Lucio found practically mouthwatering. Impossible to love could be his stubbornness or reluctance to do what Lucio wants, always pushing against him or being hard to deal with, both as a kid and during the plague.

And lines like this, where he calls him a coward. I find it hard to relate this to the plague ritual as he was for the most part willingly helping with that, so it could be resenment for when Asra eventually ran off as a kid, unwilling to put up with him any longer, or his reluctance to do certain things for him then in general.

We know, and it has even been mentioned by a character within the canon, that Asra can be incredibly stubborn, to back that up. Plus, he could've been even harder to work with then both being a kid and as I mentioned earlier he has changed from how he was then, so he could've had more spunk to him or such.

This also easily means that what Lucio was trying to get Asra to do then was something Asra was quite obviously opposed to. Being used for his power is already degrading enough, but there could be more to it.

You'll notice in the post that was linked at the top (the reason I'm writing this) I mentioned pushing Asra to his physical limits and magical extremes. This could be one of the reasons for a push back.

If Lucio was having Asra do things for him involving magic, it's not out of pocket to assume he'd practically run him into the ground- I'm sure he really wouldve loved testing the limits of what Asra could REALLY do.

Wether it be huge expendure of power all at once, or tons of smaller things one after the other, it would absolutely take it's toll. We are shown a few times that using magic can exhaust someone, and I don't remember if this is shown in canon ever (tell me if so!) but pushing it even further could definitely lead to other things such as passing out, (Or nosebleeds, for the aesthetic,) alongside likely being incredibly painful and draining, both mentally and physically.

Basically, abusing his powers and the body that commanded them. It's also possible that the stubborness to work with Lucio could also be partially percieved because of this- Lucio taking Asra's literal physical inability to continue as defiance.

Another reason for push back from Asra would be making him do morally compromising things. This is a little more vague, but intimidation is a common headcanon I see for what Lucio made Asra do, and that could tie in here. Other things could be meddling in things and business he shouldn't, but again, it's a vague thing. Make of it what you will. Fucked up stuff all around.

[EDIT - TEACHING LUCIO]

(THANK YOU @tea-tye for showing me these, and credits to @hangedman-magician for the video they came from!!!!!!!)

...I cannot BELIEVE I forgot this, I KNEW I was missing something. Especially when I was fairly certain I remember Lucio being obsessed with the idea of magic. SO, MOVING ON,

There's not terribly much to pick apart here as it's rather direct- Asra saying he has in fact tried to teach Lucio magic. So in my eyes this solidifies that this was a component of Asra's time under Lucio. I still think my points about Lucio treatment (pushing Asra to his limits) stand, as well.

This can also tie in the stubborness mentioned as, well, can you imagine teaching Lucio? Asra backs this up by saying nothing he has ever said stuck with Lucio, and you know how Lucio gets when things don't go his way. He would've blamed his inability to learn on Asra, likely.

Looking to other quotes mentioned: the 'broke him' line still rings to me like he was trying to use Asra in other ways, and the 'coward' line could go either way from refusing to teach Lucio certain things, or refusing to do certain things for Lucio when he was merely being used. The "impossible" line could also go for others, as trying to teach someone like Lucio would've undoubtedly caused some head butting.

This is certainly really exciting and interesting to me as it gives a more complete picture on the exact situation at hand here. I still stay by my reasoning for Lucio simply using Asra as well on top of being taught because it seems highly likely that Lucio would've been too impatient to learn to do certain things himself, and like I said as well, I don't doubt he also just wanted to see what Asra was REALLY capable of. Something he could've saw as a tantalizing insight into the kind of power he could aquire of this kid would just... work with him.

NOW we have a MUCH clearer answer as to what exactly Asra was likely doing under Lucio, or at this point, almost certainly doing. It's a sad picture for Asra of course, but with this you can draw some interesting points as to how he could've been affected by this, as I'm sure it would've left some kind of imprint on him.

Sure it may not have been as traumatic as what Muriel went through, but when you look at it, it's hard to say it DIDN'T leave it's scars. If we consider all the points presented in this post truth we have:

A 12/13 yo homeless child, threatened with his friend's life to work for the Count that he knew was the one responsible for orphaning him and making him homeless in the first place.

Said child believing his parents are still alive, and as we see in Travel at Night, could very likely still be trying to find them. In a situation like Asra's that glimmer of hope probably was a big deal in helping him push on. This may also be a reason he agreed on top of Muriel's safety.

While working under the count, he is told that his parents were executed, no doubt devastating. The manner in which this was mentioned is up for debate, and could affect exactly how it was taken. Options could be Lucio joking or bragging about it (treating it as trivial or an accomplishment), or using it to threaten Asra, (as in I killed your parents, I'll kill you too,) both would work when it comes to controlling by fear.

It is also mentioned that Lucio told him the reason for his parents execution is that they messed up his gold arm, so Asra also has the knowledge that his parents were killed over something so unbelievably trivial.

Being used as a source of power and nothing else, both for teaching and pure work/entertainment, all for the man who killed his parents, day after day.

Being pushed to physically painful and mentally draining limits, expending so much energy that he completely exhausts himself, day after day.

Likely taking all sorts of verbal abuse from Lucio, day after day.

Like mentioned earlier, it seems clear that Lucio wanted to break Asra, so some other form of trying to chip away at his psyche to make him more convenient for Lucio is likely as well.

Those points alone, to yet again a CHILD no less, seem more than enough to cause some traumatic impact, and depending on certain specifics of what exactly went on during that time, it could be worse. I may make a post looking into the long lasting effects of this on Asra, I may not. It would mostly be headcanon regardless. If you want to add your hc relating to this situation though, I'll gladly reblog it!

And now that we are closing out, it's time to revise my summary. So, without further ado, THIS is what I think was going on during this time.

Lucio knows of Asras existence and parentage.

Lucio learns Asra is around and that he's got power.

Lucio LOVES power, so he threatens Asra into working for him.

Lucio uses Asra for his power and to be taught how to use it for himself.

While using Asra for his knowledge and power, runs him into the ground by pushing his limits to physical and magical degrees, possibly even moral.

Asra pushes back against a lot of this, or is at least percieved to, frustrating Lucio.

Lucio does what he can to try and control Asra even more, primarily via fear, but can't seem to crack him.

Eventually it's too much, and Asra leaves. Likely when the plague hit like Muriel, but it's possible it could've been somewhat sooner. Lucio is PISSED, because he wanted that magical power all to himself.

Less related, I can see Lucio trying to brush it off and pretending to be fine with it, excuse being "he was too difficult to work with, anyways," or something.

...And then... years later, as far as Lucio sees it, Asra comes crawling back- and he's tamed down to a degree! He's actually working with him. Lucio might not know what or who did it, but Asra is finally broke for him, and I'm sure he was absolutely ecstatic to have that power back in his hands- and more than ever before.

Think of all of this as you would like!

At the end this is all still speculative, so definitely feel free to make your own points or say if you feel any different abt anything- expansions or counters on this theory/headcanon welcome!

And if you also have any other screenshots or info not here that could add to the theory or change the outlook of certain things definitely add them!!! I feel like I'm missing stuff for sure, and my memory has probably muddled some things (hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, though.)

And @asrascherry thanks for the offer in helping word my hcs also! I forgot to say that. This one is just so long I wouldve felt bad bringing it all to you 😔 it's probably still messy as a result but I tried lmao (worried it's repetitive or unclear 😬)

Uh yeah! That's mostly it for NOW.

+All the love to Asra for going through so much I'm so sorry bb,,

Thanks for reading!

#asra #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #asra the arcana

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ur-favorite-queer-queen · 3 years

Text

Internet Friends

For Maribat March day 4 theme internet friends

Master List

It was peaceful for once in the manor. Dick, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, and Babs were all in the living room doing their own thing. However peace cannot last forever and the silent atmosphere was interrupted by one Timothy Drake-Wayne.

“Guys come check this out!” He exclaimed, his phone facing the others in the room. They all gathered around the phone, some more annoyed than others. On screen was a video and Tim hit play.

It showed a girl with dark hair, blue eyes, and pale skin motioning for someone off screen to come over. There was music going on in the background and the girl was obviously getting impatient. The figure came on screen and they were all shocked to see it was Jason. Then at the top of the screen the words ‘Doing this trend with my overprotective best friend’ appeared and now they were very confused. Jason had never mentioned this girl before.

The music stopped and the girl repeated the lyrics “Look at my ass, look at my thighs” as she turned around. But before she could turn around Jason picked her up and carried her off screen before the video ended.

“What was that?” Dick asked after a few seconds of silence.

“It’s a trend on tik tok that girls usually do with their boyfriends, but in this case Jason and this girl are just best friends.” Steph answered.

“How does Jason even know this girl?” Dick pointed out, asking the question that was on all of their minds. Unfortunately, no one, not even Tim, knew the answer.

Cass then spoke up, “Watch more.” She grabbed Tim’s phone and played another video, however this time it was Jason holding the camera. He came over to the strange girl who looked to be baking something. She looked up at him weirdly, asking something that couldn’t be heard because of the audio playing, luckily they could read lips.

‘What are you doing?’ She asked

Jason responded with ‘Just listen.’

She turned her attention to the camera as the lyrics “That’s my best friend, that’s my best friend” played. Jason was moving to the beat and that seemed to convince the girl to also move to the beat. The song continued with more lyrics playing “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my best friend”. Then suddenly the lyrics “I just fuck her her from time to time” played and the girl whipped out her spoon and started whacking him on the head with it. She was screaming ‘LIES’ just before the video cut out.

This led to them going on a spree of watching their tik toks. Apparently this was their shared account and both of them had separate accounts they planned to look at later. An hour had passed of them just watching their tik toks before they stumbled upon an intriguing one. The caption was ‘You guys asked for it, so I’ll explain. This is going to be my side of the story.’

It showed Margot, as they had found out her name was, sitting on her bed recording herself painting her nails a blood red as she talked.

“Ok so you guys have been asking for this for a while so here it is. How I met Jason part one. And Jason will also be doing his side of the story, just so you’re aware, watch that after this. But this also takes place after the whole ‘Hawkmoth and Lila Incident’ so if you haven’t watched that storytime on my personal account, you should probably go do that.”

One look at each other and they knew they were gonna look at the story afterwards. It was getting too good to leave now.

“So a long time ago I had a venting account on Instagram. Now I had many venting accounts, all with different usernames, including Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, all that good stuff but Instagram is where I met Jason. I posted something about how death could never stop me because I had died by the hands of an akuma before but ladybug’s cure brought me back to life. But then later on in the post I said something about how if this one boy, you all know who he is, couldn’t take a hint then I would rather let death take me than bother living in this mortal realm. Jason ended up seeing the post since we were following each other at the time and DMed me. Now he said and I quote ‘Yo, my username at the time, if you need me to come and beat this guys ass I would be more than happy too. I would gladly let death claim me as well without your shit posts to relate to.’”

She had tried to make her voice sound deeper and had stopped painting her nails so she could do air quotes. “Looking back on it now, that is such a Jason thing to say, but at the time I was pretty confused and mildly concerned. And time’s up, part two will be posted right now.”

“Wait, what the heck is an akuma and ladybug’s cure and why did she die from it!?!?!” Dick shouted once the video ended.

“Dick you don’t know what she’s talking about?” Babs asked in disbelief.

“Tt, Grayson, and I thought you were one of the smart ones in this family.” Damian scoffed.

“Does everyone here, but me, know what she's talking about?” Dick questioned, getting yes and nods from everyone in the room.

“Okay Dick,” Tim began, “This is gonna be pretty unbelievable and complicated so I’ll try to explain it as best I can in a short amount of time so we can finish her side of the story before dinner. So while I’m explaining don’t interrupt me.”

He waited for Dick to nod his head before continuing. “There are jewelry called miraculous that house mini gods that grant powers to whoever has the jewelry. Each miraculous houses a different god thus a different power. Miraculous themselves, including the gods bound to them, are neutral so they can be used for good or evil depending on who wields them.

Hawkmoth and Mayura used the butterfly and peacock miraculouses for evil purposes and were basically emotional terrorists to the people of Paris. Hawkmoth was able to send out a butterfly with magic to a person feeling negative emotions and manipulate them to do his bidding. These butterflies and villains created by the butterflies were called akumas. If you were or became an akuma you were akumatized. Mayura was able to send out a feather with magic that also used negative emotions to create a monster that aided the akuma. The feathers were called amuks and the monsters were called sentimonsters.

That was when the heroes Ladybug and Chat Noir also came along and fought Hawkmoth. Ladybug had the ladybug miraculous which granted her the power of lucky charm and miraculous ladybug. Lucky charm gave her an item needed to defeat the akuma and miraculous ladybug reversed all the damage a fight caused. She also had the task of purifying the akuma, turning it back into a butterfly. Chat Noir had the black cat miraculous which granted the power of cataclysm, which made it so he could destroy anything he touched. The 2 worked as a team for around a year before they brought in other temporary heroes who are not that important. Eventually all their temp heroes’ identities were outed and they could no longer use them so they were back to square one.

However many people noticed that Chat Noir was not taking his job as seriously, he began sitting out battles, flirting with ladybug while there was an akuma, and even getting civilians killed, relying too heavily on ladybug’s cure. We’re not exactly sure what happened, we assumed she snapped because one akuma attack Chat Noir was not there. Instead, there was a whole new team of miraculous wielders including Murder Hornet wielder of the bee miraculous who had the power venom which let her temporarily paralize her opponent, Red Illusion wielder of the fox miraculous who had the power mirage which let him create illusions, Peridot Protector wielder of the turtle miraculous who had the power shelter which allowed him to create indestructible shields, Medusa wielder of the snake miraculous who had the power second chance which allowed her to reset the time line as many times as needed to win the battle, Mustang wielder of the horse miraculous who had the power voyage which let him create portals, and a new black cat holder, Midnight.

The team took 6 months to defeat Hawkmoth and Mayura, who turned out to be Gabriel Agreste and Natalie Sancour. The Justice League tried to recruit them but they all wanted to live normal lives. Ladybug still checks in every 3-6 months to reassure everyone she still has all the miraculous. I don’t blame them, especially Ladybug, for wanting a normal life. This whole thing started when they were around 13 and ended when they were around 17.”

Tim then clicked on part two of her story, not even waiting for Dick to recover from the huge information dump.

It was the exact same place she was at in part one, and she was still painting her nails the same shade of blood red. “Okay guys part two of how Jason and I met. If you didn’t watch part one go watch then return to this one. So picking up where we left off I Dmed him back and we ended up having a very long conversation about murder, people not understanding the word no, and spineless cowards. This went on for quite a while of us just messaging each other and eventually we gave each other our emails and then phone numbers. I gave him my phone number just before I moved out of Paris. After like 6 months of texting we planned to meet up at some park in New York that was near the apartment I lived at at the time. Now in hindsight that was a very dumb move on my part so to all the kids watching don’t go meeting up with strangers you meet on the internet. Do as I say not as I did. I almost regretted my decision to meet up with him because he is intimidating as hell! He’s like over 6 foot tall, with muscles the size of my head! I honestly thought that I had put myself in a very bad situation but thankfully he was just as nice in real life like he was over text. We ended up hanging out a lot more and long story short we’re best friends!”

It was at this point that she looked directly into the camera with a glare that could rival Batman’s, stating, “Literally just best friends to all the people who think shipping us is okay!” And just like that, it was gone, “Anyways see you guys next video, bye!”

And with that the video ended and the Wayne children, minus Jason obviously, were left wondering how they missed the fact Jason had a female best friend. One where they declared their friendship on the internet nonetheless!

“Well that was certainly something.” Steph commented.

“Yeah, who knew Jason could have a non hero friend that we didn’t know about.” Tim joked.

“So are we gonna watch Jason’s part?” Dick asked.

“I don’t think we have time for that, but we can watch it after dinner.” Tim suggested, “Alfred is probably on his way to get us right now.”

“Tt, what do we do now?” Damian questioned.

It was then that Cass stole Tim’s phone and started to play a new tik tok. And it showed Margot trying to teach Jason how to do the WAP dance. They were never letting him hear the end of this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am literally so sorry for that huge information dump with the miraculous. I did not expect to get that carried away while writing and by the time I realized it, it was too late and I had to post. Honestly because of how much I wrote I will probably use the miraculous holders names in a future fic, cause I’m lazy. :P Also if you wanna guess their identities feel free to! Anyways tomorrows prompt fic thing will be like a prequel for this one, it’s basically why Marinette now goes by Margot and why she lived/lives in New York. The prompt “Betrayal" will be connected to this as well. :) Also sorry this was posted so late, I had things to do, that I still need to do...I hate procrastination

@maribatmarch-2k21

#maribatmarch2021 #maribat #maribat march #internet friends #platonic jasonette #tik tok

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tanoraqui · 4 years

Text

tanoraqui

Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be

tanoraqui

Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit

Like IMAGINE

tanoraqui

In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.

tanoraqui

Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling

tanoraqui

...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world

tanoraqui

The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all

tanoraqui

They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast

There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time

...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point

tanoraqui

Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.

tanoraqui

Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...

Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet

Today at 8:42 AM

@professorsparklepants

I love this it's so goddamn wacky

tanoraqui

I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off

professorsparklepants

Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults

Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?

tanoraqui

Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”

professorsparklepants

"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."

tanoraqui

I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact

professorsparklepants

OH MY GOOOOOOD

tanoraqui

They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”

professorsparklepants

#1 wingman...

tanoraqui

Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom

professorsparklepants

His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"

I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down

tanoraqui

With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”

professorsparklepants

"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"

tanoraqui

^ actual real conversation with WenYuan

professorsparklepants

A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim

tanoraqui

Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers

professorsparklepants

Oh absolutely

professorsparklepants

He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out

tanoraqui

Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both

tanoraqui

But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time

professorsparklepants

He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute

LOL YES

tanoraqui

So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained

professorsparklepants

It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens

"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"

tanoraqui

“What sword?”

professorsparklepants

KDJAKSNJS

tanoraqui

“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”

tanoraqui

Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”

WY: what?

JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me

WY: ...yeah okay

AND THEN THEY DO THAT

professorsparklepants

The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS

tanoraqui

They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways

They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world

Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here

They’re going to DIE

professorsparklepants

JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA

JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably

"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."

tanoraqui

I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time

He’s still angry at WWX for leaving

professorsparklepants

Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"

Okay my shift is starting later

tanoraqui

/snort

Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”

professorsparklepants

Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going

tanoraqui

Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that

Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto

No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point

tanoraqui

Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down

Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other

professorsparklepants

LOLOLOL

That is.... so goddamn in character

tanoraqui

concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless

professorsparklepants

Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't

tanoraqui

a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful

professorsparklepants

Lol

tanoraqui

but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people

professorsparklepants

He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice

tanoraqui

JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."

NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.

professorsparklepants

Question: are they also friends with lwj...

tanoraqui

yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions

professorsparklepants

I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics

tanoraqui

but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition

professorsparklepants

I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in

tanoraqui

for sure

it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"

professorsparklepants

Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker

tanoraqui

she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something

professorsparklepants

tanoraqui

omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing

tanoraqui

basically, this au is PEAK romcom

tanoraqui

...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die

professorsparklepants

!!!

Good... Good thoughts

Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!

tanoraqui

(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)

professorsparklepants

*nice*

tanoraqui

...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings

maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.

professorsparklepants

That happens sometimes

#mdzs #the untamed #ficlet #my fic #lan sizhui #jin ling #lan jingyi #(not actually here much; rip)#wen ning #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang yanli #nie huaisang #lan xichen #wen qing

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jbarness · 4 years

Text

y/n’s nth date

a oneshot

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

about: common room conversations. today's topic: y/n's quite extraordinary dating life.

a/n: so i may be a bit busier than i expected but here's a lil something that's been in my drafts for a while before i post the first chapter of keys. its coming up in a few hours hehe. lol this has a bit of resemblance to one of my other works hihi. if u know, u know 😉. anyways, enjoy!! feedback is highly appreciated!! ♡

❗please DO NOT repost, translate, or copy my works❗

my masterlist

“Ouch! What was that for, Y/N?!”

Tony yelled and Steve gave you his ever famous ‘eyebrows of disappointment’ when you threw a large pillow towards the cuddling couple. They were just sitting there on the floor, not even making a sound, just enjoying each other’s presence so it was pretty weird that you threw a pillow out of the blue.

You shrugged, “Nothin’ much, just felt like it.”

Everyone’s eyes were on you now. It’s not that you were acting weird, throwing stuff is kinda your thing. It’s just that you haven’t talked the whole time you were all in the common room, and you’ve all been there for an hour. You haven’t been talking for one fucking hour because you honestly felt lonely despite being around a room full of people you considered your family.

Most of them had someone. Tony has Steve, Wanda has Vision, Scott has Hope, Nat has Bruce, though he’s not here at the moment.

That leaves you, Sam, and Bucky, the members of the Single Club.

You loved them both dearly, you do, but you wanted a Steve to your Tony. Probably not the best example because of the whole Civil War thing, but they both truly loved each other, everyone could see that.

“You just felt like throwing a throw pillow to Tony and me while we were just sitting here barely talking?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It is a throw pillow,” you said, shrugging once again.

Tony grabbed the pillow and threw it back to you aggressively, "Doesn’t mean you should just throw it out of the blue! Maybe warn us next time?”

Sam laughed, catching the pillow that was about to hit your face, “Don’t mind her, she’s just being bitter.” You smiled at him, "Can’t argue with that.”

“Well, you should try to date then,” Natasha suggested, making you, Bucky, and Sam laugh.

“She kind of gave up on it,” Bucky said and looked at you with a small smirk.

You nodded before drinking from your cup that was on the table, “I always end up in the weirdest places!”

Scott tilted his head, making him look like a confused puppy, “Like where?”

“Uhh..,” you sighed, “Their parents’ basement, a car in the shop, oh and did you forget that one time that I went home covered in blood ‘cause I ended up in a Hydra base?”

Scott nodded with a wrinkled nose, “Yeah, it’s probably safer if you never go on a date again. That basement sounds kinda weird and creepy.”

"Scott, not helping. Y/N, not all guys will bring you to the weirdest places. Believe it or not, some guys are actually pretty great and decent like, uh, Steve here. He’s respectful and kind and caring,” Hope said, completely unaware of the highly offended man beside her.

Tony smirked, “In the bedroom’s a totally different story.”

You laughed at Scott who was now sitting straight, “I’m not just gonna ignore the fact that you used Steve as an example while you’re here cuddling me,” he complained.

"Scott’s okay too, kind of a dumbass, but okay,” Hope said nonchalantly.

Wanda untangled from her lover and leaned forward, “Ooh, maybe who you’re looking for is right in front of you but you may be too bitter to see it,” she said wiggling her eyebrows.

You looked at the person who was seating across from you, “Barnes?”

Okay. He’s good looking, you’ve said that a few times to yourself already. You were friends and you were scared because if you two dated, there was no turning back. You worked really hard to be his friend after he came back from Wakanda. When he came to the tower, he always followed Steve wherever he went. He didn’t really trust anyone except for Steve. He eventually talked to the others who teamed up with him and Steve. Unfortunately for you, you teamed up with Tony. So, you only talked to him after almost a year after he moved in.

You remember it as if it was yesterday, you were teasing Sam about… okay maybe you don’t remember the exact details. It doesn’t matter! You were teasing Sam when he walked into the kitchen. You remember making your voice louder for him to hear even though you know he has supersoldier hearing. He laughed at something you said which made both you and Sam look at him. Bucky was smiling at you. It was the first time you saw it, and damn. “Please, continue teasing Sam. It can be exhausting you know? I’m glad to know that there’s someone who can take my place when I’m not there to do it,” he said sipping his coffee.

That was the day you became friends with Bucky Barnes. Aaaaand betrayed Sam Wilson.

“All I’m saying is, look at Tony and Steve. Hope and Scott. Even Vis and I. We all didn’t date first. We were…co-workers or friends first. We didn’t force ourselves to make a good first impression. We didn’t force ourselves to like the other. It just… sorta happened,” Wanda said, looking at Vision lovingly.

"Well said, Wands,” Nat smiled.

Sam clapped, “Yes! Don’t give up on love, my darling Y/N,” he said enthusiastically.

Wanda frowned and tilted her head, “Not my point.”

“What is it, Wilson?” You said, squinting your eyes.

Sam smiled nervously, scratching the side of his head, “Welllllllll, I may have another blind date for you.”

You crossed your arms in front of you, “No.”

“This is the last one!” Sam grabbed ahold of your ankle that was on his lap the whole time. You tried to kick him off, “You said that 10 dates ago!” you yelled finally sitting properly on the couch.

“10?” Steve asked.

Sam kneeled in front of you, pleading, “This one won’t take you somewhere weird!”

You rolled your eyes, “You said that 11 dates ago.”

Nat waved her hands, gesturing us to stop talking, “You’ve had 12 or 13 blind dates and all of them took you to weird places?”

You nodded. Not all of it was bad though, maybe six or seven of them were gentlemen. The rest of them were fun in a childish way. But the places, oh man, you’ve been to places you never thought you’d end up in on a first date.

“Sam, where do you even meet these people?” Scott laughed, massaging his temples.

You saw a confused Vision turn to Wanda, “Sam has friends?”

Sam stood up, “I swear, this is the– Sam has frie- yes I have friends!”

“Look, Sam, I appreciate your effort to find me love but, I’m sorry, I don’t want you to be my wingman anymore,” you smiled sadly, grabbing his hand.

“But that’s my thing!” Sam frowned, stomping his feet. You rolled your eyes, very mature.

Tony smirked, “So the spot’s open?”

Bucky raised his hand excitedly, “I’ll set you up with someone!”

“No offense but, do you know anyone else besides us, Barnes?” Natasha scrunched her eyebrows at the smiling soldier.

He nodded slowly, “Yes, I do… I-I uh go running outside sometimes, you know?”

“Wait. I didn’t mean immediately!” You yelled causing them to laugh. They didn’t know you weren’t joking. Sam gave you a date every week. Every. Single. Week. That was after the third date. The first three dates he gave you? You called them the Thursday, Friday, Saturday incident. Yep, three dates for three consecutive days.

Bucky nodded, reading your face, “No rush, Y/N. I’m just saying, I have someone who you might be interested in.”

Steve laughed, “Do you even know this guy, Buck?”

You noticed Bucky’s scrunched eyebrows and pouted lips turn to narrowed eyes and tight lips as if he was debating himself about something, “Uhhh… Pretty well actually.”

Wanda suddenly gasped and giggled causing everyone to look at her weirdly. “You okay, Wands?” you raised an eyebrow. She nodded, placing her chin in the palm of her hands, “Mhm! Continue!”

Hope cleared her throat, “This guy is not just someone you passed by or something?”

“You should be asking Sam that,” Bucky defended, making Sam roll his eyes.

Bucky looked back at you with his gorgeous blue eyes and that freaking smile that you love so much, “Y/N give me a chance on matchmakin’?”

You hesitated, “I don’t know. You and Sam might be talking about the same guy”

Sam grunted, standing up, and went over to Bucky who whispered in his ear. Sam’s eyes widened, his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape, turning to a big smile. “Very very different people, Y/N,” Sam’s smile got bigger and bigger as he went back to sit beside you.

You narrowed your eyes at the guys, “You sure?”

Here’s the thing, you don’t really trust those two idiots. They are not exactly friends, they’re more of frienemies. You three team up with one of you to make fun of the other or just prank the other.

They both nodded, “Absolutely.”

You gave in and sighed, “Okay. Just give me a week without a date please.”

“Sure,” Bucky smiled.

Nat cleared his throat, “So Y/N, tell us about every single guy Sam set you up with,” she wiggled her eyebrows, smirking.

You sighed, rolling your eyes. Yeah, this is gonna be a long night.

After the talk about your dating life, the team decided to play some games. These things usually get out of hand as everyone’s competitive, including yourself so you decided to just watch them.

You stood up from your seat to make yourself a popcorn while everyone else grabbed their own snacks. Bucky grabbed a drink from the fridge and stood next to you, watching the popcorn.

“Barnes, tell me all about the guy you’re setting me up with,” you turned to look at him.

He exhaled, “I…hope you’ll like him.”

“That’s it?” You tilted your head, “Come on, tell me more! What’s he like? Where’s he taking me?”

He chuckled, “That’s what the date is for, doll.”

You sighed, “Right, of course.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you while the rest of the team argued about what game they should play next.

“Is it… Sam?” you asked, breaking the silence.

He laughed, “It’s not, unfortunately. Unless you want me to set you up with him?” he smirked.

You shook your head, “Oh no thanks, he’s like a brother to me, you know that.”

Bucky smirked, leaning closer, “What about me, doll? What am I to you?”

The popping sounds saved you from the question, “I better…uh…the popcorn…I–” you said, doing all kinds of hand gestures. He chuckled and went back to the common room.

Damn, you can’t wait for your date with Bucky– your date with the guy Bucky set you up with. Damn it!

“Okay, these jeans or these leggings?” Wanda held up your choices.

You looked at Wanda confused. “If you have to run from your date or something. We both know you don’t like running in a dress.”

“Oh, smart,” you nodded as you chose the jeans.

Wanda was helping you out for your date tonight. She seems excited about it, you thought. You, on the other hand, are not excited at all. Wanda knows that you were debating on whether you should go or not.

This past week was… something. Bucky kept flirting with you. Sometimes you laugh at it or roll your eyes, but most times you found yourself flirting back. Steve always said how Bucky was a ladies man back in the day and now, you could see why. He’s so confident now and he is naturally charming. The weirdest part about this is that after he flirts with you, he brings up the date. And he’s excited about it! It just does not make sense to you at all.

Wanda was brushing your hair when she noticed your ‘thinking face’, “You’re gonna enjoy this I swear, Y/N,” she smiled at you through the mirror.

You nodded, “Yeah...yeah! I’ve just been thinking about...Bucky. He happily volunteered to set me up with someone then he suddenly becomes flirty every single day before the date… I just--I don’t understand,” sighing, you stood up and looked at yourself at a bigger mirror.

“No one really understands Bucky that much except for Steve,” Wanda laughed. She turned you around and checked whatever else you may need. “You’re good to go, honey!”

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked. Wanda smiled, “He’s out, Sam’s taking you to the...place you’re supposed to meet.”

Sam was awfully quiet driving his car. Something is definitely up. It’s been 15 minutes without him talking. He just hums whenever you talk.

“Alright, we’re here. Enjoy!” Sam said after he opened the car door for you. It was your favorite fast food place. Bucky must’ve told the guy that you love the food here.

You checked your messages for the 5th time tonight, ‘he’ll approach you when you enter :)’ Bucky wrote. You exhaled deeply, entering the restaurant.

“Hi, you look beautiful,” a voice from your left spoke up.

You looked over to see, “Bucky? What are you doing here?”

“I’m James, your date for tonight,” he smiled cheekily.

“Are you kidding me?” You raised an eyebrow, keeping yourself from smirking.

He shook his head, giving you the small bouquet of flowers he was holding. Taking your hand, he brought you to the table where you usually sat whenever you’re here with him. You were trying so hard to hide your smile but when you look at the man in front of you who was still smiling cheekily, you gave up and laughed.

“You know, Bucky told me you were cute and boy was he wrong. You’re beautiful, doll,” he said holding your hand that was on the table.

“Oh yeah? Did he also say that he flirted with me for the whole week after telling me that he’s setting me up on a date with you?” You smirked.

Buck-- James shrugged, “I mean, can you blame him? With you looking beautiful all the damn time, I can’t see why anyone wouldn’t make a move on you.”

You laughed, “Okay, okay. I still don’t understand any of this though.”

His flesh hand found its way on your cheek, making you look at his hypnotizing eyes. “I like you. A lot. You’ve always been so fun to be with, doll. You’re witty and sarcastic most of the time but you can be understanding and sweet when you need to be. You’re fierce and powerful. I just can’t get you out of your head ever since we went on that mission with Sam” he chuckled at the memory, “Remember? You took down the HYDRA agents while wearing that awfully large gown. Later on, we heard you singing a Backsync--?”

“Backstreet Boys”

“Backstreet Boys song, while there were screaming and gunshots in the background. You’re really strong and courageous, Y/N. I absolutely adore you.”

“I didn’t take you to be a sappy little shit, James” you smiled teasingly, “Buttttttt, I absolutely adore you too.”

He laughed, "Good to know, doll. But uhh, spoiler alert, you'll end up in a weird place after this date too."

You smirked, "And where's that?"

"In my arms," his cheeky smile found its way back to his lips, "Cause one's metal, the other's flesh. It's weird. Get it?"

280 notes · View notes

fanficsforheartandsoul · 4 years

Text

Anxiety | [Fem!Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Inspired by a post by @bluegalaxygirl

Notes: This is brought to you by my social anxiety and my thirst for Obi-Wan Kenobi, yaaayy. Also, I have literally no clue how to write feelings.

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: Angst, Anxiety, Self-Doubt, Self-Conciousness, slight OOC, Fluff

Summary: Y/N has only recently become Obi-Wan’s padawan and she is struggling with her social anxiety and her relationship with her master, so she has a panic attack. Luckily, Obi-Wan himself comes for the rescue.

Word Count: 3868

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She knew that her master would most likely disown her if he found out what she was doing right now. Obviously. Because emotions were prohibited. But she couldn’t control it. Not at all.

Y/N had always been alone. She didn’t join the order when she was an infant. She had lived for 13 years on her own on a small planet in the outer rim. She didn’t even know the name of the ice planet. The life in the tundras had been lonely but she felt comfortable. With the help of the force, she was able to survive just fine. Then the Jedi came.

Master Yoda brought her to Coruscant, introduced her to the council and decided that she should start to learn with the other younglings.

The first mistake he made.

Y/N had never met any children, nor any group that consisted of more than 6 people. Having companions was new territory and being exposed to a huge amount of people for the first had caused her to lash out with the force. By accident, she not only hurt some younglings but also herself. The scars on her arms and left cheek would always remind her of that moment.

That’s when the wise Jedi grandmaster decided to teach her the basics himself. Alone. To help ease her agitation. It was a good idea. Y/N did approve after all. She studied the Jedi, learned the lightsaber forms, meditated. She was a good student, and Master Yoda was proud of her. But then the Clone Wars started and he had no time for teaching her anymore.

So he made his second mistake.

He decided that it was time for her to become someone’s padawan. “Why can’t you be my master?”, she had asked him, her voice void of any emotion but not because she learned to properly follow the code. She had just learned how to hide them. His answer left her intestines churning and she was ready to shut herself in her room. But the Jedi obviously didn’t let her.

“Your new master, this is.”

And that’s how she got introduced to Obi-Wan Kenobi. A formidable Jedi with great patience and a humorous character. A kind soul.

From whom she was hiding right now.

Y/N had been his padawan for two months but she didn’t progress far. Her training went well, that was not the problem. Since they were alone when they meditated or trained. No, the problem was her social anxiety.

Meeting the clone troopers for the first time caused the panic attack she was having right now. They were supposed to have a meeting for an upcoming mission but Y/N ditched them. Not intentionally she’d like to say but that would be a lie.

She had already stood in front of the meeting room’s door but she couldn’t enter. Her legs felt like jelly. The padawan tried to calm herself but it was no use.

Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears and she had trouble breathing. Her hands were clammy and she felt uncomfortable because she had broken out in a cold sweat. Footsteps were coming closer and she heard the voice of her Master from inside the room. A shaky breath escaped her lips and she whispered “I’m sorry” before she bolted.

She hid in her room. Not the best place of course, since he would probably search for her here, but there was no other place that calmed her down. Asides from Master Yoda’s side. But the council member was gone on a mission and he would probably also be disappointed if he found out about her panic attack.

Currently, she was leaning against her bathroom door and tried to meditate. But she couldn’t concentrate on her breathing because it felt like she was suffocating. “Don’t worry, Master Obi-Wan will understand”, she would tell herself but that only frightened her more. Because no way in hell would he understand! She had been living in the temple for 2 years but hadn’t met more than 8 people at the same time, not since the accident.

Every time Master Yoda tried to take her to one of the lessons with the younglings, her scars began to hurt. It wasn’t painful since she got used to it but it broke her concentration and seemingly also her spirit. Y/N couldn’t focus with the tingle that went up her arms and the force around her became unstable.

The same was happening now. She could feel it. The air around her felt heavy and made it hard for her to breathe.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

She choked the words and tried to hold back a sob from her throat. She wouldn’t cry, because she couldn’t. It wasn’t allowed. And the code was the only thing that stopped her from falling into misery. So she clenched her teeth and tried to stop whimpering.

But thoughts of her master finding her invaded her head and tears threatened to spill.

He would be disappointed. Y/N didn’t worry about him hating her, no. She wouldn’t mind that. But disappointing him was far worse.

She knew that Master Kenobi disliked the idea of having to train a new padawan shortly after Anakin Skywalker, especially during the times of a War. He never showed it of course. But somehow she could feel it. Maybe it was because she had always lived alone, only with the company of animals, who could show their emotions with the force. But she was able to feel to a greater extent than others apparently.

That’s how she knew. That he would most likely spare her a glance and then abandon her. It made sense. She was not fit for a Jedi after all. They were supposed to be the stars of the republic, the peacekeepers who helped every civilian. But this meant that they would be in the light. But her life wasn’t made for that.

She was always meant to stay in the shadows. Where the darkness was calming, reassuring.

Maybe she should just give up and leave. Going home, to her real home, on the unknown ice planet, seemed like a good idea. It was a welcome one.

Y/N didn’t realize how she spiraled deeper down in self-doubt and self-consciousness. But surprisingly she calmed down a little. The thought of returning to her house, that was actually an old transport ship, relaxed her muscles and she could breathe better again.

But then it hit her. She had no money. And in fact, she didn’t even know the exact location of her home planet. Master Yoda never told her. Maybe be knew that she would waver!

Dread fell over her and she let her head hang low. Maybe he never trusted her at all. And when he had enough he cast her aside and let another person take over the dead weight. How Obi-Wan Kenobi must suffer with her as a padawan.

Shame made her cheeks burn and the tears welled up again. But this time they spilled over. Y/N clenched and unclenched her fights slowly. Her fingernails dug into her palm and the pain distracted her from the salty tears that rushed down her cheeks. The scars on her left one throbbed.

Maybe, just maybe, if she curled up and stayed in that position, she would just fade into the darkness and everyone would forget her.

“Have you seen my padawan?”

Obi-Wan was currently walking back and forth in the meeting room, his hand thoughtlessly on his lightsaber while he worried about Y/N. He knew he didn’t give her enough attention and the guilt ate him alive but like Anakin assured him, he was busy with the war and her shyness wasn’t helping with that.

“Your padawan? You know we’ve never seen her face before”, teased Anakin and Ahsoka gave her master an annoyed look.

*No, but… A girl was standing before the meeting room when I arrived half an hour ago”, she replied and Obi-Wan immediately stood a little straighter.

“Did she have h/c hair? And a scarred left cheek?”

Ahsoka tilted her head and tried to remember. “I didn’t see her face but she had h/c hair, yes. But she walked off in a hurry so maybe it wasn’t her.”

Obi-Wan remembered how the young girl always stormed off after their lessons as if she was running from something. He was sure, the person Ahsoka saw, was his padawan.

Why did she walk away? He knew he told her that the meeting started at 1100. Did she forget something? That didn’t seem likely.

“I know your padawan isn’t here, General Kenobi, but we should start anyway. We cannot leave the senator waiting”, said Captain Rex and he nodded in defeat.

The meeting began and they discussed their strategy but Obi-Wan couldn’t quite focus. He remembered the first time he met Y/N. How her young eyes were strangely dull.

The girl was a little shy according to Yoda but he learned fast, that this comment had been an understatement. When they walked to their first training lesson she said nothing. No word left her lips and the Jedi had wondered if she disliked him.

But when they fought he realized that she was nervous. Her attacks were timid and had almost no force and he began to wonder if it was the right decision to say yes. After all, it was only an offer, Yoda didn’t order him to take Y/N as his padawan. He had to admit that he even doubted the grandmaster’s judgment a little. But the girl proved to him that she was a good student. Technically.

Her skills were sharp when she fought against a training droid, she used form four like Master Yoda which surprised him since it was an offensive style. But he never saw her do it when they fought against each other. He wanted to tell her that she could use Ataru but her apprehension also made him hesitate and he felt like he couldn’t talk freely to her. If he needed to be honest, it was a little uncomfortable.

It was strange that he had problems adapting to her but to be fair, Anakin had been completely different when he was her age. It wasn’t just because she started her training a few years later than him, it was also her character.

From what he had learned in the first month, Y/N liked to stay secluded and isolated herself from others at her age. She got embarrassed easily and he often felt like she was like a scared animal that would run away if he made a wrong move.

And there was something else. Sometimes the force would radiate from her. It was as if a pipe had been opened and all her feelings were flushed out through the force. He couldn’t explain why but he never told the Jedi council about her emotions. Obi-Wan told himself that they weren’t concerning but when he stood there in this meeting room with a bad feeling in his chest, he changed his mind.

“…ood, then let’s conclude this meeti-”

“Thank you, Anakin, I’ll see you later. Goodbye”

With these words, he walked out of the room.

As soon as the door closed behind him, he picked up the pace and decided to look for Y/N in her room. It was the only place that seemed to make sense for him. Hopefully, she would be there because if she wasn’t he wouldn’t know where else to look. This realization just showed how much he neglected her and shame and guilt made his heart heavy.

He decided that they needed to talk. It would be hypocritical to spill their emotions when they were supposed to not let themselves be swayed by them but this was about their relationship as student and teacher. He wanted to apologize from deep within his heart. Obi-Wan realized that he had been a bad master for her and he knew that it needed to change.

So he hurried to the south wing, where Y/N’s room was located. He walked up the stairs and as soon as his foot stepped on her floor, he paused.

The force felt weird on this level of the temple. Unease filled his chest and his hand found his lightsaber, since touching it always calmed him down.

His intuition told him the dread that filled the air had something to do with his padawan. He walked down the hallway and stopped before her door. The nameplate next to it was dark, which meant there were no lights on in the room. But he didn’t turn away. He could feel her presence through the force. She was here. And she was hurting.

Worry coursed through his veins and he knocked on the door.

“Y/N? Can we talk?”

He waited a few seconds but there was no response. He knocked again. This time louder.

“Y/N, please. I-”

Obi-Wan stopped and waited, hoping she would answer but the silence remained.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

He didn’t expect a response, so he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get any. With the help of the force, he opened her door and stepped inside the room. Like the nameplate indicated, the lamps were off, but the big window let enough light inside for him to immediately see that she wasn’t here. She wasn’t laying in her bed, or sitting at the table studying, how he often found her when he was coming to pick her up for training. But the shift in the force was stronger than ever, so he knew she was here. The only place that was left, was the bathroom.

And not much to his surprise, its door was closed. He crossed the room and stopped before it. Now that he was standing so close, he was able to hear sniffles. The sound crushed his heart and he regretted listening to his former padawan so much.

Deep down he had known that what he was doing was badly hurting the young girl but he told himself it would be fine. He forgot how fragile and sensitive people were. Maybe the war had made him heartless. The anxiety he could feel through the force shook him to the core. He tried to steel his nerves but the emotions flowed through him and left his body numb.

“Y/N?”, he asked, his voice was soft.

He heard a breath hitch and the sniffles died down. She noticed him, now all she needed to do was talk to him.

Y/N almost died then and there.

He found her. Obviously. But she had hoped with the naive belief that he wouldn’t. She tried to suppress the sobs and quiet down but it felt impossible and honestly, she didn’t want to. There was a brief thought that she should just let it all out and show him how miserable he made her feel.

But the idea vanished as soon as it appeared. It wasn’t his fault. She was the one who was scared of other people, of interacting. It wasn’t normal, she wasn’t. He was just unfortunate enough to get paired with her.

“Leave me alone.”

Y/N only whispered it and it was almost inaudible but she was sure that he had heard her. He would definitely leave now. Leave her behind like her parents did, how master Yoda did, like everyone d-

“Let me in, Y/N. Please.”

Her heart missed a beat. Master Kenobi’s voice was soft and had a pleading undertone. She could sense genuine worry radiating from him through the force. Worry, guilt and also regret.

When she felt all these emotions, she couldn’t stop the sobs anymore. She pushed herself up and crawled away from the door. Maybe he sensed how she moved away, maybe he didn’t, but the door opened with the help of the force and she could see the blurry shape of her master standing in the doorway.

The light from the room shined in and outlined his features as if he was one of the republic’s posters coming alive. He looked like a savior. And the thought of him being that for her filled her heart with something she couldn’t describe.

He approached her and knelt in front of her. She could see his worried eyes through her tears and the warmth that radiated from his presence in the force. It felt familiar and surprisingly it made her feel like she was safe. Maybe she was allowed to cry some more. Maybe he allowed it until she calmed down and then he would just bring her to the counci-

“I won’t leave you alone anymore, Y/N. I’m sorry. I neglected my duties as your master and made you suffer.”

He held out his hand but paused as if he wanted her permission first to touch her. The padawan sniffled.

“I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan saw that as a cue and lightly touched her shoulders. The moment when his fingers touched her robes felt like a storm abruptly stopped. She stared at him with wide eyes. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to apologize but she suddenly threw herself into his arms.

Y/N cried into her master’s beige robes and her hands were shaking while she hugged him but she didn’t care. She sensed it when he touched her. He genuinely wanted to help her, to ease her pain. And for her, who so desperately wanted somebody to understand her and lend her a hand, it meant the world.

The Jedi was stiff at first since it rarely happened that somebody threw themselves into his arms, but when he felt her shaking hands and how wet his robes got from her tears, he raised his hands and returned the hug. His left hand stroked her back while his right pressed her head closer to his chest.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Y/N.”

The moment was intimate but he didn’t mind. If he could calm her down this way, he would gladly continue until she didn’t need him to do it anymore. Her body slowly stopped trembling and the sobs died down. Her voice was raspy when she said:

“I’m sorry that I didn’t attend the meeting.”

A small laugh escaped Obi-Wan’s mouth. He ruffled her hair and smiled slightly.

“Why would you worry about that? I found you having a breakdown in your bathroom, I believe we have other priorities.”

She nodded and looked up at him. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks slightly red from embarrassment. He let go of her and Y/N backed away until she sat leaning against the bathtub. He watched how she fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to say.

Her Master then noticed that the force around them had calmed down. The anxiety was partly still there but it felt like an echo. Y/N then took a deep breath and said:

“I’m scared.”

He looked at her but he didn’t say anything, worried that she would stop before she even has properly begun to explain.

“I- I’m scared of people. I can’t really explain why but meeting a group is really stressful for me. It’s… uh… It’s like I feel like everybody’s looking at me and judging me and I can’t, can’t handle that well”, she started and avoided eye contact with him.

“I’ve always been alone and suddenly that changed and now everybody’s expecting me to hang out with all those people and there are so many clones and their feelings and emotions are all over the place, and I get all sweaty and I can’t prop-properly breath and it’s just… I don’t know… too much. It’s too much for me. I’m not used to be in the spotlight. I know that sounds arrogant because I know that not everyone is looking at me and watching every move I make but I just can’t stop from feeling like they do. And I’m feeling all this fear and anxiety and I can’t handle them knowing that what I’m doing is against the code and I feel like a failure, I am a failure and it’s… Maybe Master Yoda was wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought me here.”

Y/N knew she was rambling and when she finally stopped to take a breather she looked up and watched her Master’s expression and when she saw his confusion, she regretted telling him.

“This… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, let’s just forge-”

“Do you feel the same with me?”

Master Kenobi’s question made her pause and when she searched his eyes for any disappointment or disdain she couldn’t find any. His words left her wondering. Was she feeling the same with him?

“No…”, it sounded unsure, but she didn’t add anything because she really wasn’t completely sure.

“Let me try to rephrase what you just said, okay?” She only nodded. “Am I correct when I say that you have anxiety when it comes to social interaction?” Again, he received only a nod.

Obi-Wan touched his beard and pondered over what he had just heard. Many things made sense now. Why Y/N was always studying alone, why she ate in her room instead of the cantina and why seemed like she was dying every time he saw her in a room with more than 3 people. But he still didn’t really understand why she had problems with that.

He searched her eyes and when she returned the eye contact he smiled softly and then said:

“I can’t really understand you, but”, he held up his hand when she tried to interrupt him, “I want to understand. And I want to help. I’m sure that the force will guide us both and I believe that, as master and padawan, together we can face your fear and ease it.”

Y/N leaned back, her shoulders relaxed and she let out a breathy laugh. Sneakily she wiped away a tear that threatened to spill again.

“That would be great… Master Kenobi.”

The Jedi’s smile widened and he put up his finger as if he wanted to warn her.

“I would prefer it if you call me Obi-Wan, at least in private.”

The padawan nodded and together they slowly stood up.

“Let’s try”, she added and her voice was quiet but he could hear the determined undertone.

“There is no try, padawan, only-”

“Do or do not, I know that one.”

He raised an eyebrow and then patted her shoulder smiling. It felt a little awkward but then her master interrupted the timid atmosphere:

“You said ‘their emotions are all over the place’. Does that mean you can sense feelings? To what extent?”

Y/N paused. Him speaking about her ability made her feel shy again.

“Uhm… I can tell what a person is feeling without concentrating too much. As long as I want to know, I can sense it clearly.”

Since the light was still not on in the bathroom and he turned away, she couldn’t see his expression but she felt embarrassment radiating from him. Maybe it was because of the moment they had just shared but she suddenly wanted to tease him.

Yet she didn’t. Not wanting to destroy the thin thread of a bond that they formed today.

669 notes · View notes

bigassheart · 4 years

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Updated TUA Timeline

A little over a year ago, Aidan posted a timeline for the events of the Umbrella Academy on his Instagram. I posted it on this blog at the time and promised I was going to update my TUA Timeline post with that info. Never did. But I am now! So, here it is. The updated TUA Timeline.

Also, there will obviously be spoilers, so don’t read this if you haven’t watched season 1.

October 1st, 1989 - The Umbrella Academy kids are born.

1993 - Grace Joins the family. This is according to Aidan’s Timeline. Depending on the time of the year, the kids would be 3 or 4 when this happens. This may or may not be when the kids get names.

1993/1994 - Vanya forgets about her powers. Vanya also trains with Reginald and is subsequently made to forget about her powers around this time. Though we don’t get a specific date or length of time that Vanya trains, the flashbacks don’t appear to show her training for a super long time. I think a good guess would be less than a year for this training, putting Vanya’s age at 4. (This also matches up with the casting for the young Vanya and young Allison roles, which I used previously to estimate this age/date)

1997/1998 - Klaus is locked in the mausoleum for the first time. I am basing this on the casting for the role of young Klaus, which has him at 8 years old. However, it’s not quite that simple, because when Klaus is talking to his dad in episode 7, he says that his dad locked him in the mausoleum when he was 13. Complicating matters even further, there is a post somewhere out there that took a screen shot of Reginald’s journal with notes about locking Klaus in the mausoleum. (I have not been able to find that post again, so if anyone knows the one I’m talking about and has a link, I would love to put it in here). The date recorded on those notes is 2001. (I don’t remember the month, but I think it was summer) That would have made him 11 years old. It’s possible that this was just an inconsistency in the writing. Or it’s possible that Reginald locked Klaus in a mausoleum on at least 3 different occasions at age 8, 11, and 13. Possibly more.

2001/2002 - The Umbrella Academy stops a Robbery I’m basing this on the fact that all the same actors were used for these scenes as were used in the scene where Five leaves, so they can’t be much more than a year younger than that.

November 10, 2002 - Five leaves the Academy According to Pogo in episode 1, Five has been gone for 16 years, 4 months, and 14 days. The date in that episode is March 24th, 2019 (according to Vanya). That means that Five disappeared on November 10th, 2002, a little more than a month after the Umbrella Academy kids all turned 13. (This date is also confirmed on Aidan’s timeline)

(Side-note. Remember when Klaus mentions being locked in the mausoleum when he was 13? That means it probably happened not too long after Five disappeared. Holy Fuck Regi!)

2006(?) - Ben Dies OK, this is only a guess, BUT it’s a good one and if you scroll down to the additional notes at the bottom, you’ll see why.

2014 - Vanya publishes her book In episode 3, we learn that Vanya wrote her book 5 years earlier. (when they were 24) At this point, Ben is already dead and Luthor has not had his accident yet.

2014/2015 - Luther has his accident We’re not sure how long it takes Regi to send Luther to the moon after his accident (days? weeks? months?) so all we really know is that the accident happens sometime between Vanya publishing her book and the moon trip.

2015 - Luther goes to the moon In episode 6, Luther says that he was on the moon for 4 years, making him about 25 years old when he left. Aidan’s timeline also confirms that Luther went to the moon in 2015.

March 24th, 2019 - Reginald’s Funeral We know this because they tell Five the exact date.

April 1st, 2019 - Apocalypse (Dear Commission: Worst April Fools joke ever).

This Brings us to the present. The members of the Umbrella Academy are all 29, except for Five, who is 58, and Klaus, who spent 10 months in Vietnam and is therefore 30 now.

Additional Notes on the Timeline:

Five in the Future Five finds Delores pretty soon after the apocalypse (again, same actor, so I’m figuring a year leeway at most). He tells Klaus that he was with Delores for 30 years. That would make him about 43 when The Handler shows up. When Five gets back to the present, he gives a very specific amount of time he has been gone: 45 years. This means he spent 15 years working for the Comission, making him 58 at this point. Five also traveled through history extensively while working for the commission. His last mission had something to do with the Kennedy assassination, which would put him in 1963. (Quick note on this one - Someone commented on this post a while back with a correction and I was going to go back and do more research so I could correct these numbers, but now I can’t find the post and it’s been so long that I can’t remember what the correction was. So, if these numbers look off, let me know and I will fix it)

1968 - Klaus travels back in time to the Vietnam War Historical Context: This is 3 years after the first American troops arrived in Vietnam and 5 years after Kennedy was assassinated. Nixon was elected in 1968. This was also the year of the Tet Offensive, a massive campaign by the North Vietnamese Army to push the US troops out of the country and ferment rebellion among the South Vietnamese people. This was the big turning point in the war and marked the beginning of the US troops’ defeat. This was also the year of the My Lai Massacre, where the US Army murdered more than 500 civilians in the city of My Lai. This incident was covered up for a year before the American press found out about it.

Finally, the reasoning behind my guess that 2006 is the year Ben died:

Klaus mentions that Ben died “young and tragic”

Everyone left the house after Ben died, according to Vanya.

In episode 3, Alison says that they left their mom alone for 13 years. (13 years ago, they would have been 16) We don’t know how quickly everyone left, if it took days, weeks, or even years, so it’s possible that 13 years ago was when Alison left specifically. It could be that everyone was gone by that date. Or it could be that this is when everyone started leaving.

Diego mentions moving out at 17. Again, everyone left after Ben died, so it would have happened before that.

Ben’s statue does not have a date on it, but obviously he would have had to be at least the same age as he is depicted there.

We also have the following portraits sequence in episode 1 that was used to show Five’s disappearance and Ben’s death. Here are all 4 portraits.

Portrait 1 is done when they are all 12 or 13 years old. Everyone looks about the same age in portrait 2, so I’m assuming it Reginald had it commissioned right after Five disappeared. It would therefore make sense that portrait 4 was done right after Ben died. There are clearly several years age difference between portraits 2 and 3. It also looks like there may be another year or so age difference between portraits 3 and 4. Because of this, I would argue that the children are at least 15 years old in the final portrait. Therefore, Ben dies at age 15 or 16.

Last bit of evidence is Aidan’s timeline. Now, the year for Ben’s death is blacked out, BUT we can see the general shape of the numbers. The first number is clearly a 2, so we know that it’s not just a bunch of 0′s as a place holder. The last two numbers are rounded at the top and the bottom. In the font they are using, that gives us these possible years: 2003, 2006, 2008, 2009.

The placement between 2002 and 2015 is just a little past the middle point, so at first I figured that would mean the year was 2009. HOWEVER, that would mean he died at age 20. The other kids definitely don’t look 20 in the portrait after Ben dies and this doesn’t match up with the comments Allison and Diego make about leaving when they were still in their teens. Also, if you look at the timeline for earlier years, the same space between dates is used across the board, whether those dates are 4 years apart or 9 years apart.

Conclusion: I think Ben died in early 2006 (making him 16).

And that’s all I’ve got so far.

If anyone else has more clues for the timeline, please add them to this post.

#TUA Timeline #The Umbrella Academy #tua #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #vanya hargreeves

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soobiniebaby · 4 years

Text

Angels & Devils Part XIV : Who’s a Liar?

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

“Yeonjun, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Baby, please, wait. Please, take 3 deep breaths and try to calm down. Hear me out. Please.”

“Yeonjun, no. I can’t do this. I don’t know how I can possibly get past this. I don’t think I could ever let this go.”

“So what do you want to happen now? What do you want me to do? Tell me anything, and I’ll do it. Baby, I’ll do anything for you. Just please tell me how I can make this right.”

“You want to know what I want to happen? I want this to stop. This, us, this evening, this pain, this nightmare, I just want this all to stop. I think the best thing you could do for me now is just let me go, don’t make this hurt any more than it already does. Just let me go. Yeonjun, please, just let me go.”

“Baby, please, don’t.”

“This is goodbye, Yeonjun. I’m breaking up with you.”

3 weeks before… The past couple of weeks have been difficult for Soobin.

First, the Fall Ball was coming up, and as Student Council president, it was a bit of a burden on him. The Fall Ball was one of the biggest social events at MOA, and it was the first of the 3 annual school dances that took place at the school every year, followed by the Winter Formal and Prom for the Seniors. The Student Council, along with the respective committees in charge of the Fall Ball, had been meeting at least thrice every week now.

Second, he’d been trying his best to keep his distance from Yeonjun and B. Knowing what he knew about what happened the night of Yeonjun’s birthday party 2 weeks ago, he felt as if there was a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment. So far, Yeonjun had showed no signs of recalling just how far things with Rose went that night, and B hadn’t shown any signs of remembering the conversation that she and Soobin shared in the utility closet while she was crying her eyes out, which ended with him admitting that he currently had feelings for her, which he was really struggling with.

And third, he just seemed to be falling more and more for her everyday. No matter how much he tried to keep her at a distance, the little smiles she’d send his way and the mere way she said his name just made his heart flutter every damn time. The butterflies in his stomach were inescapable.

He felt guilty for thinking it, but on more than one occasion he’d fantasized about having B as his date for the Fall Ball. He’d imagined what it would be like to drive to her apartment on the night of the ball, and how breathtaking she’d look as she’d greet him at her apartment door wearing the most gorgeous dress, how her eyes would sparkle when they’d take pictures at the photobooth before the dance, how tender she’d feel in his arms as they slow-danced in the middle of the school’s event hall, and even the things that they could do after the dance, which may or may not have included the tantalizing thought of him unzipping her dress to reveal her slender bare back and more.

His imaginations of everything that he wanted to do with B’s bare skin made Soobin feel guilty, but he couldn’t stop the fantasies from playing in his mind from time to time. He found that the best way to shut them down was to remind himself that Yeonjun had probably already seen or done everything that Soobin could only fantasize about, which effectively made Soobin feel sick to his stomach. He didn’t know just how far Yeonjun had taken things with B, but he had definitely insinuated that they’ve done more than just make out, and frankly, Soobin didn’t want to know just how much more.

Besides, Soobin was well aware that his thoughts were nothing more than fantasies, that Yeonjun would be taking B to the Fall Ball, and that his reality would probably end up with him ensuring that the event would be running smoothly the whole evening, too busy to actually dance with his date, if he’d even have one.

Taehyun had tried, on more than one occasion, to suggest who he should take as his date to the Fall Ball.

“How about Tyuzu, that shy girl in your Maths class? She seems really nice and graceful, and with her height I’m sure you 2 would look amazing together.” Taehyun suggests. It was lunch time, and the 6 of them were sitting at their gazebo. Yeonjun and B were busy feeding each other and giving each other googly eyes, while Beomgyu and Kai seemed to be laughing over a video Kai had seen on Twitter.

“Chou Tzuyu? She is really nice, kinda shy, and I have to admit that she’s very pretty.” Soobin says, considering Taehyun’s suggestion. “But I don’t know if I can ask her, we’ve never had any conversations before so it would be a bit weird, she might say no.”

Kai lets out a snort. “Yeah right. Soobin, do you know how many girls at this school would go crazy if you asked them to be your date to the Fall Ball? Have you forgotten who you are?” he says. “Heck, remember that one year when a couple of girls asked you to be their date? I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens again this year.”

Beomgyu nods in agreement. “That’s right, you’re Choi fucking Soobin! President of the Student Council, Ecosave club ambassador, president of the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of MO Academy’s elite Basketball team, a main vocalist of the Jazzed club!” he exclaims, holding his hands up in the air as if there were a billboard with Soobin’s name on it. “Choi fucking Soobin.”

Soobin laughs, embarrassed. “Thanks you guys, but I don’t think I’ll be taking a date this year.”

“No, what about Tzuyu? I’ve been thinking about who the perfect date for you would be, and after much consideration and deliberation, I know she’s the one.” Taehyun says.

“And she seems great, Tyun, and thanks but no thanks. Why don’t you ask her instead?” Soobin suggests, politely turning down his suggestion.

“I would, but she’s too tall for me.” Taehyun grumbles. “Plus, there’s already someone else I wanna go with.” he says, subtly shooting a look in Beomgyu’s direction. Noticing this, the ever-so-confident Choi Beomgyu looks flustered for a moment, not expecting the sudden interaction.

“Oh? Our Taehyunie actually has a date in mind?” Kai says excitedly. “Finally! Who’s the lucky date?”

“I haven’t asked them yet, so still no date for me.” Taehyun backtracks. “What about you, Hyuka? You got a date in mind?”

Now it was the younger boy’s turn to be flustered. “I, uh, I’m kinda dating Yuna, and we already agreed to go to the Fall Ball together.” he mumbles.

“Whoa, you asked Yuna out? Why didn’t you tell us!” Beomgyu exclaims, surprised.

“I’m sorry, I thought I did!” Kai says defensively. “I definitely told B about it though. Right, Baba?” he says, turning to B.

B breaks out of the little love bubble she shared with Yeonjun and nods. “Yup, and I think you 2 are adorable.” she says. “Yuna, Ryu and I will probably be going dress shopping this weekend. Do you have any preferences? Anything in particular you wanna see her wear? Any color or style in mind?”

Kai starts to blush. “N—Not really, I think she’d look great no matter what she wears.”

The whole group in the gazebo collectively goes “Aw.”

“Sounds like our darling boy is in love.” Soobin says affectionately, ruffling his hair. “Yuna’s a lucky girl! No wonder you seem like you’ve had your head in the clouds lately.”

“Oh stop it.” Kai huffs, his cheeks heating up as he tries to brush away Soobin’s hand. “At least I have a date. Really, Soobin, you could ask literally any girl in this school and she’d say yes.”

Except the one girl I actually want to ask, Soobin thinks to himself, his eyes sneaking a quick glance at B, who currently had Yeonjun’s arm casually wrapped around her shoulders as he absentmindedly scrolled through his phone and she continued to tease Kai about his new relationship.

B was pretty, but it wasn’t like she was the prettiest girl in the world. Heck, he knew that there were a lot of other pretty girls at MOA, so he didn’t know why he was so captivated by her. Soobin had never considered himself to be the kind of guy who’d have a type, so he didn’t know what exactly made someone attractive to him. He just found himself attracted, and he had no idea why. Out of all the girls at MOA, why did she have to be the one to catch his attention?

At that exact moment, B turns her head towards him and their eyes meet. She breaks into a giggle, causing Soobin’s heart to skip a beat. He starts to panic as he realizes that she had caught him staring.

“Soobin? Do you want my help in the date department?” she asks teasingly.

“Ah, nope, I think I’m good. I really don’t think I’ll be asking anyway to be my date this year.” Soobin says, flustered by her catching him staring at her.

“Dude, it’s our last year and it’s our last Fall Ball. Are you sure you want to do it solo?” Yeonjun pipes in.

Soobin shrugs. “I don’t mind, really. I’ll focus more on organizing it and making sure everyone has a good time, so being dateless is alright with me.”

B sighs. “What a shame, you could’ve made one very lucky girl at MOA really happy.” she says. “But whatever you say, Soobinie. Just make sure you let yourself enjoy the Fall Ball as well instead of just focusing on everyone else having fun, alright?”

Soobin nods. “I will, don’t worry.”

Once that was settled, the school bell rings then, signaling the end of their lunch break. The group pack up their stuff and walk back to the main building, going their separate ways to class.

•°•

2 weeks before…

“Hey Tyun, do you have a date to the Fall Ball yet?” Soobin asks absentmindedly, his eyes on the screen and his fingers expertly smashing buttons on the controller as he did his best to beat Kai at this round of Tekken. It was Saturday, and the guys had come over to his place to play video games.

Taehyun sighs, scrolling through his phone while the boys focused on their video game. “No, Soobin, I don’t. I haven’t had the chance to ask yet.” Which was true. It was only when Taehyun had started seeing someone in their friend group when he realized just how hard it was to be dating someone in the same friend group, especially when they he and Beomgyu had both agreed to keep things lowkey. He could see now why Yeonjun and B hadn’t told anyone about their relationship when they first started dating.

He thought it would be easy, since he and Beomgyu saw each other everyday, ate lunch together everyday, hung out at his family’s café after school everyday, and even got to hang out during the weekends. The problem was that the 2 could never find time to themselves, the rest of the friend group always seemed adamant on hanging out together, and if both of the boys would say no to hanging out at Soobin’s place on Saturdays, then it would come off as suspicious. Whenever they were together, they could hardly sneak in some quick hand holding, much more a few private words between them.

His eyes dart to Beomgyu, who was sitting in the middle of Soobin and Kai on the sofa. He looked adorable between the 2 giants of the group, sitting with his legs tucked under him, making him look extra tiny. Taehyun’s heart fluttered when Beomgyu meets his gaze and gives him an understanding smile, which he returns.

Taehyun knew that he could just ask Beomgyu to be his date through text, but Taehyun was a bit of a romantic. For the past year, he could only ever fantasize of what it would be like to kiss Beomgyu, of how soft his hands would feel, of the warmth of his body if he were to embrace him, of dancing with him in the middle of the floor at one of MOA’s school dances. Now that it was all a reality, he wanted everything to be perfect, or to at least be able to ask him in person.

“What, why haven’t you asked yet?” Soobin exclaims, surprised. “Kang Taehyun, are you…nervous?”

Kai bursts out laughing at the thought. “Taehyun? Nervous? Please, I bet that word isn’t even in his vocabulary.” he says, keeping his eyes on the screen. “If anyone should be nervous, it should be whoever Taehyun plans on asking. No offense, Tyun, but you are intimidating as hell. Even as your friend, I would probably pee myself out of nervousness if you wanted to ask me to the dance.”

“Lucky for you I don’t want to ask you, then.” Taehyun replies dryly. His brows furrow together with worry. “Am I really that scary?” He knew he had a reputation at MOA, that everyone had him on a pedestal as this perfect untouchable being, that most students were afraid to speak to him unless he acknowledged them first, but he didn’t think even his friends would feel that way.

“No, I don’t think so. Hyuka’s just saying that cause he’s scared of you but I don’t think you’re that intimidating, but that might be cause I’m the oldest one here.” Yeonjun pipes in, his eyes on his phone. “What do you think, Gyu? Is Taehyun scary or is Kai just a scaredy cat?”

Kai lets out a “Hey!” in protest, but Taehyun’s focus is on Beomgyu now, who tapped a finger on his chin as he thought of his response. “No, I don’t think Taehyun’s scary at all. In fact, I think he’s adorable. Like a cute little squirrel, with his big eyes and his fluffy hair.” he says thoughtfully, smiling fondly at the said boy. “In fact, contrary to what Kai thinks, I’d be ecstatic if I knew that Taehyun would like to ask me to the dance.”

Taehyun feels heat start to creep into his cheeks, flustered by Beomgyu’s opinion. “Really? You’d be ecstatic?” he says, not really knowing what else to say.

Beomgyu nods. “Definitely. I would say yes, without a doubt.” he says, his smile growing.

Without a second thought, Taehyun suddenly says “So do it, then. Be my date. Go to the dance with me. Say yes.”

Once his words register, everyone goes still, their heads all turning towards him, as if he had just transformed into a squirrel in front of them. Taehyun didn’t think he’d just blurt it out, but the words came out of his mouth before he could even think about it. He knew they were all looking at him as if he were crazy, but he only had eyes on Beomgyu, who was looking at him with wide eyes, caught by surprise.

After a moment, Beomgyu’s smile grows even wider as he says “Yes. I’ll be your date. I’ll go to the dance with you. Without a doubt.”

Taehyun can’t stop himself from smiling upon hearing this, his jaw stretching out to its limit and his eyes crinkling with glee. Meanwhile, their friends suddenly unpause, jumping out of their seats and staring at the 2 boys.

“Oh my god! What just happened?” Kai exclaims, covering his mouth with his hand to stop himself from smiling.

“Wait, Tyun, when you told me you’ve been in love with someone for like a year now, was it Beomgyu this whole time?” Soobin says, the realization hitting him like a truck.

Taehyun nods. “Yes, but there’s no need to talk about that.” he says, trying to politely tell Soobin to keep his mouth shut. Now, he was shy.

“In love, hm?” Beomgyu says teasingly, standing up as well to walk over to Taehyun. “For a whole year? Didn’t know you had it that bad for me, Tyun.”

“Don’t let it get to your head now, just cause you’re my date.” Taehyun says casually, trying to hide his giddiness. Beomgyu was his date. He was going to the Fall Ball with Beomgyu.

Yeonjun walks over to the 2 and envelops them into a hug, squishing them together. “I’m so, so happy for you two.” he says wholeheartedly.

“Thanks, YJ.” Beomgyu says, laughing as Yeonjun squeezes them even tighter.

“Congratulations you two! I’m so happy!” Soobin squeals, joining the group hug.

“Congrats! I’m happy, too!” Kai says, trying his best to wrap his arms around the 4 older boys. “What should we call you now? Beomhyun? Taegyu? Tyugyu?” he says playfully.

“You’ll call us Tyun and Gyu cause that’s who we are.” Taehyun responds. “Look, I love you guys, and I’d like to thank you all for being happy for us, but I can’t feel my ribs so please let go now.” he manages to say, trying his best to wiggle his way out of the group hug, which was impossible since he was right in the middle of it.

“No, I want this moment to last forever. So happy for you guys.” Kai coos, squeezing even harder.

“Hey, please don’t crush my date!” Beomgyu laughs, attempting to protect Taehyun from being squeezed to death.

“You heard Gyu, hands off his date!” Soobin says, stepping away from the group. The 2 other boys hesitantly follow suit, leaving Beomgyu and Taehyun standing together in the center. The two boys look at each other, their eyes both sparkling with joy as Beomgyu reached out and took Taehyun’s hand in his.

“My date.” Beomgyu says, keeping his eyes on his boy. Once again, Taehyun can feel his cheeks go red, and it takes his entire willpower to stop himself from leaning in and kissing Beomgyu right then and there.

Their 3 friends coo and squeal in awe, amazed at what they were seeing.

“How are you 2 so sweet? How did this happen without any of us suspecting anything?” Soobin asks curiously, looking at the 2 with a bit of jealousy. Why couldn’t he have what they did?

“Actually, yes, I think we all want to know how exactly this happened.” Yeonjun agrees, taking a seat on the sofa.

“Will you tell us? Please? I wanna hear a love story.” Kai says, plopping himself down next to Yeonjun and giving the 2 boys puppy dog eyes. Soobin soon follows, seating himself on the couch, and looks at the 2 pleadingly.

“Alright, children, settle down.” Beomgyu says, taking over. “Allow me to tell you the story of how Tyun fell head over heels in love with me—”

“Oh shut up, you’re the one who kissed me first.” Taehyun says, making the 3 boys gasp.

“B—but, no! That was a game!” Beomgyu interjects, referring to the game of Kiss or Tell at Yeonjun’s birthday party. “I panicked and kissed you cause you were gonna tell everyone about that one time we tried this new Ramen place near the subway and I ended up shitti—”

“You know that’s not the kiss I was talking about.” Taehyun cuts him off, echoing the exact words Beomgyu had said to him when they first talked about it at Kang’s café. Beomgyu’s face goes red as the 3 boys practically die of curiosity.

“Oh my god, Gyu kissed Tyun? After the game?” Kai screeches, unable to stop his dolphin-like squeals from coming out due to his excitement.

Taehyun nods. “There’s not much to it, really. He kissed me during that game, then he kissed me again after, we talked about it. We started kissing and talking more, and then I asked him to be my date today in front of you guys.” he says matter-of-factly.

“Don’t forget the part where Soobin said you’ve been in love with me for a year now.” Beomgyu butts in, recovering from his flustered state.

“Soobin, you’re lucky I like you and consider you as one of my closest friends.” Taehyun says, looking at him pointedly.

Soobin laughs nervously, knowing that he was referring to the fact that he told Taehyun practically everything about his feelings for B. “Yeah, thanks, Tyun.” he says sheepishly.

Taehyun simply nods at him, signaling that his secret was still safe with him. “Now that we’re all caught up on me and Gyu’s history, can we let it go and move on now?” he says, not really used to being in the spotlight for anything other than his academic achievements or extracurricular talents. And he definitely wasn’t used to being fawned over for his love life, which had been nonexistent up until that moment.

The 3 boys nod. “Okay okay, let’s talk about something else. How about the Fall Ball? What will you guys be wearing?” Kai asks, gamely changing the topic.

“Yeah, I mean, a suit? What else?” Yeonjun says. “I have like a hundred suits just waiting to be worn, I just have to pick one out.”

Beomgyu nods. “I’ve got some suits at home too.”

“I don’t have a suit yet.” Taehyun says quietly, as if he were a bit shy and embarrassed. “I—I kind of just rent a suit every time I have to attend an event that requires it because…” Because I can’t afford to buy it, he wanted to admit. Even with the scholarship, it was hard to maintain his lifestyle as a student of MO Academy. He did his best so that it wouldn’t be a financial burden to his family. He walked to and from school everyday, brought packed lunches, recycled notebooks and used textbooks, and worked part time at the café so his family wouldn’t need to pay for an extra set of hands.

Being one of the school’s scholarship kids never bothered him much, especially since he knew his performance as a student was exemplary and he knew he deserved the honor of studying at such a prestigious school, but he couldn’t stop himself from those moments when he just couldn’t afford to live as lavishly as his friends did. But when he saw his friends’ faces showing that they understood, he felt like he didn’t have to say it out loud.

Beomgyu clicks his tongue, looking at him playfully with disapproval. “No way, my date deserves to own a suit. The most handsome guy at MO Academy, apart from myself of course, should definitely own a suit.” he says, smiling at Taehyun thoughtfully. “What do you say, I take you out shopping tomorrow? We can go to the shopping center near that subway station, I could meet you there for lunch?”

Taehyun beams at him then, nodding his head. “It’s a date.”

“Our first one.” Beomgyu says, winking at him.

“But the fact still stands that I can’t…afford to buy a suit.” Taehyun says sheepishly.

“Darling, don’t worry about that. I’ll get you a suit as pretty as your face, which is impossible because you are the prettiest person I’ve ever seen, but I can sure as hell try.” Beomgyu says, lifting a hand up to cup Taehyun’s cheek, making him blush.

“Alright, but nothing too extravagant, and definitely no designer brands.” Taehyun says, giving in. “And I’m buying you lunch.”

Beomgyu beams. He didn’t think Taehyun would say yes, but he was set on buying him a suit whether he wanted it or not anyway. “Deal.”

The 3 boys watching them from couch squirm, trying their best to hold in their awe, but upon seeing that, Kai couldn’t hold it in any longer.

To everyone’s surprise, Kai lets out a squeal, making them all jump and stare at him. “You guys are so cute, I wanna cry.” he says, making them all laugh fondly at the youngest boy.

“We are adorable, aren’t we?” Taehyun says, wrapping an arm around Beomgyu’s waist.

“Couple of the year.” Beomgyu agrees, kissing the top of his head. “So what kind of suit do you want?”

“Just a standard black suit, so I can wear it to any occasion.” Taehyun says. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a wide spectrum of styles to choose from anyway.”

“This topic would’ve been more fun to talk about if we were girls.” Soobin pipes in thoughtfully. “It’s kinda boring how guys just wear the same thing for every formal event. Meanwhile, girls can pick any dress color and any style of dress they want!” he says, suddenly going on a mini rant. “It seems so fun in movies when girls go dress shopping and fix up their hair and do their makeup before a big event. I wish guys could experience the same thing. Shopping and getting all dressed up and excited for a big night sounds so fun.”

“Speaking of girls going shopping, I’m pretty sure Baby, Yuna and Ryujin are doing exactly that right now.” Yeonjun says, taking out his phone and tapping it a few times before holding it up to his ear. “Hello? Baby?”

“Yes?”

“I—I was talking to her, not you, Gyu.” Yeonjun says, surprised when Beomgyu responded. The boys in the room snicker, and Taehyun smacks his arm.

“Baby? You there?”

‘Hey there, yes I’m here with Lia and Ryu.’ B responds over the phone.

“Hey Baby. Ah, dress shopping, I presume?” Yeonjun says knowingly.

‘Yup! We’ve been walking around and trying on dresses for what feels like decades. I think this is the 5th shop we’ve been in. I’m exhausted.’ B says, and she did sound tired.

Yeonjun pouts. “Oh no, is my baby tired? Want me to come over and help you girls? I can carry all your bags and stuff.” he offers.

B giggles. ‘Thanks, but I think we’re good here. I don’t want to interrupt your time with the guys, plus I kind of don’t want you to see my dress until the Fall Ball. I want it to be a surprise.’ she says mysteriously.

“Oh, you have a dress already? No fair, I wanna see it! Send me pictures please.” Yeonjun says pleadingly.

‘Well, no, but I’ve tried on a few dresses that I might end up buying so I have a few prospects. And no, I want it to be surprise!’ she laughs. ‘I gotta go, we have to finish this by 6pm and we haven’t even thought about looking at shoes yet. See you later, and say hi to the boys for me!’ B says quickly before hanging up.

“Was that Yeonjun?” Ryujin asks as B puts her phone away.

B nods. “Yup, he was just checking in.” she says, going back to scanning the clothing rack for any dress that would catch her eye. “God, I hate shopping. I’m so tired, and I haven’t even bought anything yet. This feels hopeless.”

“Hey, lighten up, this is supposed to be fun!” Ryujin laughs. “Why haven’t you bought anything yet? I thought that blue dress you tried on at the shop before this one looked amazing on you. The one with the thigh high slit? It was gorgeous.”

B bites her lip. The dress was gorgeous, but she didn’t feel gorgeous when she wore it. The truth was, the closer the Fall Ball was getting, the more self-conscious she was growing about her body. She had strived to maintain her slim figure. She had always watched what she eats and tried her best to get in some exercise whenever she could, but ever since she moved away from her home, she hadn’t been able to find the time or the equipment to exercise, and she felt like it was starting to show. “Honestly, I thought I looked a bit fat, but I’ll keep the dress in mind. I think I can lose a few pounds in 2 weeks, right?”

Ryujin’s jaw drops as B says this. “Fat? Please tell me you’re joking.” she says, horrified. “B, no offense, but you could use a few extra pounds. I love you, I love how you look, but sometimes when I hug you I feel like I could snap you in half.” Ryujin admits.

“Ryu, no, I just feel like if I lost some of this fat right under my belly button, any dress would look just right.” B says, pinching the nonexistent fat.

“Please don’t.” Ryujin says. “If I see you dieting, I will force feed you. You are beautiful just the way you are, and if you don’t see that, then maybe you just need a little nudge, or a gently shove.”

Just then, Yuna calls the girls to the dressing room. “Guys! Come look, I think I’ve just found the perfect dress!” she squeals.

As the 2 girls head over to the dressing room, Yuna pulls aside the curtain and steps out of the booth dramatically, giving a twirl and a pose. “Ta-dah! What do you guys think?”

Ryujin and B looked at her in awe. She was wearing a satin gold slip dress that elegantly hung off her frame, highlighting her delicate shoulders and accentuating her long legs. The dress was held up by thin straps and fell down right above her knees.

“You look amazing.” B says. “Kai is going to love this.”

“Yes. Absolutely yes.” Ryujin says, howling with approval. “Damn, I wish I could pull off a slip dress. It’s like the right amount of chic and sexy.”

“Ryujin, please, you’d slay anything you wear.” Yuna says, blushing from their compliments.

“Easy for you to say, I’ve got man shoulders and thick thighs. Not exactly the right body fit for a dress.” Ryujin groans.

“Don’t say that!” B says. “You look good no matter what you wear!”

“Ha, and now you know how I feel about you saying the same thing.” Ryujin says, referring to their conversation earlier. “Let’s just agree that we’re all gorgeous and that we’re all gonna rock whatever dresses we buy today, alright?”

B giggles, realizing how Ryujin had cleverly turned the tables on her. “Alright. But Yuna, you definitely have to get that dress. It’s perfect.”

“Only if you get that gorgeous blue dress you tried on earlier.” Yuna sing songs. “The one with the slit. I can’t believe you didn’t get it right then and there. You looked amazing! Like the Greek goddess of the sea or something.”

“Yuna, the Greek god of the sea is Poseidon.” Ryujin informs her.

Yuna simply shrugs and cheekily says “God is a woman.” before turning back to her reflection in the fitting room.

B laughs. “Fine fine, after you buy that dress, let’s go back to the previous store and I’ll buy the blue dress. I guess it was perfect. The only thing I didn’t like about it was that I couldn’t unzip it on my own. My arms couldn’t reach the zipper.” B huffs.

“That won’t be a problem when you wear it for the Fall Ball since you’ll have Yeonjun to unzip it for you.” Ryujin says teasingly.

B blushes bright red. “Ryu! Don’t say that in front of our baby.” she shushes, motioning to Yuna, who was too busy twirling around and admiring her dress in the mirror to notice what the 2 girls were talking about. “We agreed to keep our discussions PG in front of her.”

“Don’t worry, when you put her in front of a mirror, she could stare at herself for hours.” Ryujin says dismissively. “Also, yes we did, but things between you and Yeonjun definitely aren’t PG anymore.”

It was true. Over the past few weeks, things with Yeonjun had advanced faster than she realized. They quickly went from kissing and caressing to, well, let’s just say that the kisses have gone below the neck and that the caresses have gone under their clothes.

B’s cheeks burn even hotter as the non-PG moments she shared with Yeonjun began to play in her mind. “I—well, yeah, but we shouldn’t be talking about it in front of Yuna.” B says, trying to steer away from the conversation.

Ryujin decides to steer them away from Yuna instead, leading B out of the fitting rooms and back into the racks of dresses, out of earshot. “Okay, now that Yuna’s out of the way, I want to talk to you about this.” she says, trying to maintain eye contact with B. “I know things with Yeonjun have been going great, and although I have an idea of just how far things between you two have gone, there’s just something I wanna say.”

“Alright then, what is it?” B asks, ready to hear whatever sex advice Ryujin would tell her.

“I just want to say, be careful. Your first time should be special, with someone special, and if you decide that going all the way with Yeonjun on the night of the Fall Ball will be the way to do it, then I’m 100% routing for you. But I just want to make sure that you’re 100% sure about it too.” Ryujin says, completely sincere. “And you don’t have to tell me whether or not you decide to do it, you don’t have to let me know because that’s between you and Yeonjun, but I want you to know that I’m always here if you want or need someone to talk to about it, okay?”

B blinks a couple of times, surprised by Ryujin’s sudden advice. She always pegged Ryujin to be the supportive friend who’d bring out the inner hoe goddess in her, but seeing how genuine and concerned she was made B feel a newfound fondness for her.

“Aw, Ryu, you’re so sweet.” B says, unable to stop herself from wrapping her arms around her friend. “Thank you. I promise, I’ll only do it when I’m 100% sure and ready. And I promise I’ll let you be the first to know all about it, not because I feel the need to, but because I want to.” B says, winking.

Ryujin chuckles. “Alright, but I don’t want to hear any gorey details.” she says. “Now, let’s pull Yuna out of the dressing room and to the cashier so we can buy our dresses and get the hell out of here.”

•°•

1 week before…

“Soobin! Soobinie! Hey!”

Soobin turns to look back, stopping his tracks in the middle of the hallway. He was on his way to meet up with his friends at their gazebo for lunch when a familiar voice called out his name in the hallway.

As he turns around, he’s surprised to find his cousin, Choi Arin, waving at him. He smiled and waved back, not noticing that she had a friend with her. He stays still as the 2 girls approach him. “Arin, hey, what’s up?” he asks politely. Even though he and Arin were cousins and grew up seeing each other on family occasions, he never seemed to see her around MOA. They never shared any classes together, they didn’t have any mutual extracurricular interests, and they had completely different social circles. Arin’s friend group consisted solely of girls, and until recently, Soobin’s friend group was composed of all boys. He had mentioned before that he had a cousin who studied at MOA, but he never really got the chance to introduce her to any of his friends.

“What’s up? I feel like I haven’t see you in forever!” Arin says, playfully hitting his arm. “I guess Mr. Student Council President is too busy to check up on his cousin?”

“Ah, I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to see you around campus lately. Senior has been hectic, especially these past few weeks with the Fall Ball coming up.” Soobin says apologetically. “I promise, when the whole Fall Ball thing is over, we’ll hang out, alright?” he offers.

Arin laughs lightheartedly. “Lighten up Soobin, I was just teasing! I do miss seeing you around though, and maybe we could hang out even earlier? Say, the night of the Fall Ball? I have you don’t have a date yet, is it true?”

Soobin rubs the back of his neck, flustered at the topic of his date, or lack thereof. “Um, yeah, no date for me, but it’s completely fine with me. I didn’t really have anyone I wanted to ask to the Fall Ball anyway.”

“Oh is that so?” Arin says mischievously. It’s only then when she steps aside and pulls her friend forward, introducing her to Soobin. “Soobin, this is my friend Yiren. She also does not have a date to the Fall Ball.”

Ah, so this was where this was going.

“Hello, Yiren, it’s nice to meet you.” Soobin says politely, putting on a charming smile. Yiren blushes visibly and says hi back.

“Now Soobin, I was wondering if you could help my friend Yiren here about her dateless situation?” Arin says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Soobin knew that she wanted him to ask Yiren to the dance now, but he didn’t have the heart to force himself to go to the dance with someone he didn’t know. It wouldn’t be fair to Yiren to spend her evening with someone who was too busy wishing they were dancing with someone else to even pay attention to her.

Instead, Soobin quickly scans the hallway for any familiar face, until he spots one. “Oh, Jangun!” he says, spotting the boy walking out from one of the classrooms along the hall. “Jangjun, come here!” Soobin calls, motioning him over. When the boy notices Soobin calling him over, his face lights up and he waves back, quickly making his way to meet them.

“Soobin, hey!” Jangjun says excitedly. “You called me over?” Soobin had always thought that Jangjun was a nice guy, he was one of the students at campus that Soobin considered as his friend outside of his friend group. Jangjun was always willing to help in any way he could, and boy could Soobin sure use his help now.

“Jangjun, yeah, I just wanted to know if you have any plans for the Fall Ball. You taking anyone?” Soobin asks.

“Oh, no, sadly I was too busy dealing with some family business these past few weeks. I didn’t notice that the Fall Ball was getting closer until it was too late. It’s 1 week away and I still don’t have a date, so I thought it seemed hopeless to try to look for one now.” Jangjun admits, genuinely bummed out.

Soobin deliberately lightens up, straightening out his posture and tilting his head up, as if he was hit by a stroke of genius. “Ah, it’s never too late! Jangjun, this is my cousin’s friend. Her name is Yiren, and my dearest cousin Arin has just informed me that she doesn’t have a date yet either.” he says, stepping aside as he introduces the two to each other.

“Yiren, yes hi, I’ve seen you around. I think we had Biology together last year.” Jangjun says, smiling brightly at her. “I’m Jangjun, nice to meet you.”

Yiren smiles shyly at him. “Hi Jangjun, I’m Yiren. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Well, it looks like we’re being set up here.” Jangjun says lightheartedly, laughing nervously. “I don’t mean to be too straightforward, but is there any chance you’d like to go to the Fall Ball with me?”

Yiren’s face lights up as she smiles at him and nods. “Yes, I’d really like that.”

“Great! Uh, can I have your phone number? And let me know your social media accounts too so I can add and follow you.” Jangjun says, enthusiastically giving her his phone.

As the pair walk off and get to know each other, Arin turns to glare at Soobin.

“You know I was trying to pair you and Yerin together, right?” she huffs.

“Yes, I could tell, I’m not that stupid you know.” Soobin chuckles. “Sorry cous, I just really don’t want to ask anyone to the dance. I’ll be too busy making sure that nothing goes wrong to even entertain a date anyway.”

“Oh, Soobinie, when will you learn to put yourself first.” Arin says, shaking her head. “Well, although my plan to set you up with Yerin failed, at least she got a date out of it anyway.” she says, amused as she watches her friend giggle at her newfound date.

“Don’t get me wrong, she seems like a great girl, I just… I’m not interested in taking anyway to the dance.” Soobin says. “Speaking of, who’s your date to the Fall Ball?”

Arin smiles with a glint in her eyes. “Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Wow, Hyunjin?” Soobin says, impressed. “Great catch, cousin. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your evening.” he says, knowing that Hyunjin was one of the more popular guys in their grade, and that he was always great company judging by the amount of people he was constantly surrounded with.

“Thanks, cous. I was thinking of asking you to introduce me to your student council buddies since I’ve been dying to meet them since you became president, but then Hyunjin asked me and that was that.” Arin says.

“Ah, really? Sorry, I can’t believe I haven’t introduced you to my friends yet. They’re all unavailable though so even if I had introduced you to them, you wouldn’t have gotten a date out of it.” Soobin laughs, making Arin snort. “But I’ll introduce you to them soon, I promise.”

Arin sighs. “It’s fine, Soobin. Just make sure you come find me at the Fall Ball and say hi, alright? I’m sure you’ll have the time to do it, since you won’t be glued to a date all night.” she says, playfully pinching his cheeks before walking away.

•°•

4 days before…

“The more I think about it, the more it hurts. I don’t know what to do, Binnie. I just wanted to get away.”

She moves closer to him, her ass sliding against the cold hard floor, closing the gap between them as she leans her head on his shoulder. She feels him go still for a moment, before he takes a deep breath, her head rising and falling along with his shoulders as he does so, as he takes one of her hands in his and starts to trace gentle circles on her skin.

He speaks, and she sees his mouth moving, but no sound seems to come out, the words lodged deep down in her memory.

When he finishes speaking, she sighs and says “Maybe it should’ve been you, Soobin.”

B wakes with a start, her whole body visibly tensing up as her eyes fly open. She instantly lifts her head up and sees both Yeonjun and Soobin looking at her with concern.

“Baby? Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?” Yeonjun asks, putting his hand on top of hers. She looks around and realises that she had fallen asleep during class, Creative writing, their last period for the day.

B squeezes her eyes shut before she lets them meet his. “Yeah, a bad dream I guess.” she says. “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep in class in the first place.”

Yeonjun smiles at her fondly. “Sir Kim’s just letting us discuss ideas for our projects, and since my partner’s not here, I’m hanging around with you and Soobin.” he says, and that’s when she remembers that Soobin was seated next to her on the other side.

She turns to him, unable to meet his gaze just yet, still confused by the dream she just had.

“B? Got any ideas you wanna share?” he asks, his dimple popping out as he gives her a small smile. “It’s alright if you don’t, you can just sleep if you want. I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

What was up with her dream? And why did it feel so real? She remembers the feeling of his hand on hers, of his thumb tracing circles along the surface of her skin, she felt is as clear as day now.

“Maybe it should’ve been you, Soobin.”

Why would she tell him that in her dream? Was it possible that she had some underlying feelings for him? What should’ve been him? What was her subconscious mind trying to tell her?

“B?” he asks again, his smile faltering.

She finally meets his gaze then, and she plasters on a smile. “No, I shouldn’t sleep in class. I guess we’ll just go along with what we’ve been doing so far. We can just take random pictures of each other whenever we hang out and make stories out of them in our posts.”

Soobin nods. “That’s what I was thinking. It shouldn’t be too hard since we’re stuck with this until the end of the term.”

“Yeah, it’ll be a breeze.” she says, feigning positivity. The truth was, the dream she just had was worrying her and was very confusing.

Why would she and Soobin be in that position? Why would she say that to Soobin? She knew it was just a dream and probably just her subconscious mind making up scenarios, but why did it feel so real?

•°•

1 day before…

It was Friday night, the night before the Fall Ball, yet B still couldn’t get the strange dream with Soobin out of her head.

It constantly replayed in her head, like a broken film reel, and the more it played, the clearer the picture became.

Although some parts were still hazy and some words still came to her memory as muffled sounds, she was able to discern that she and Soobin were alone in a small space, that they were sitting on the floor together, that she was wearing the dress she wore the night of Yeonjun’s birthday party, that she was very very drunk, and that she was crying.

Now her main question was why.

Why was she alone in a small space, sitting on the floor on the night of Yeonjun’s party, very very drunk and crying…

...with Soobin?

Letting her curiosity get the best of her, B decides to send Soobin a text, wanting answers once and for all.

Upon seeing her final question, Soobin froze. He could feel himself start to sweat as he contemplated what he should do next. Although B’s recollection of the night of Yeonjun’s birthday party was clearing, it was still painfully clear that she had no clue about Yeonjun locking lips with Rose later that evening. What Soobin didn’t know was if Yeonjun’s recollection of that evening was coming to him as well.

Soobin found himself facing the very dilemma he wanted to avoid.

Should he tell B the truth, the whole truth about what else he saw that night? Or should he lie and let Yeonjun deal with the problem of telling B about the kiss?

Soobin had a method of dealing with such dilemnas. He simply closed his eyes, took 3 deep breaths, and made a decision.

He typed out his reply and hit send before he could second guess his decision.

His heart ached as he realized that he had just lied to B, but he knew it was the right, or rather the less evil, choice. She didn’t need to know that he had practically confessed to having feelings for her that night, nor did she need to know that she had wondered out loud about the what ifs between she and him. He didn’t mean keeping those parts of the night in the dark.

But what he truly felt awful about was the one thing he witnessed that he didn’t have the authority to tell her. As he texted B goodbye and wished her a good night, he quickly sent a text to one more person.

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yeonchi · 3 years

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Doctor Who Hiatusbreaker Update 2

Although the premiere of Doctor Who Series 13 is still a while off, let alone the announcement of a premiere date, there are a few things I’d like to talk about before that time comes. Let’s get right into it.

Filler series plans to talk about Series 1-10

Some time ago, I had plans to make a ten-part series talking about Series 1-10 in detail, but because I had a lot of stuff going on, those plans were reduced to something I call Doctor Who 10 for 10 - 10 Things for 10 Series, which was to state ten things about each series with at least 4 to 6 of these things being my opinions on each series. This was intended to be a filler series to bide the time before Series 13 comes out, but that may have to come at another time. I’m also continuing with Kisekae Insights if anyone wants to check it out.

The post-Series 13 forecast

Since Series 13 would be Jodie Whittaker’s third series as the Doctor, signs are pointing to this being her final series. There are also rumours stating that there will be two specials in 2022 that would serve as her final episodes. If this is the case, then it means that Jodie Whittaker would have been the Doctor for five years; a five-year-long ordeal of pain because series seem to be released pretty much every other year as a result of the almost-year-long gaps between them, not to mention the fact that less episodes are being produced as time goes on. Whether Chris Chibnall will be remaining on is still unknown at this time. Frankly, I’ll be glad when this is all over because I (and many other fans) have been kept hanging for so long. I just hope the Timeless Child payoff will be worth it.

At this point, the only reason why I’m still watching the series is mainly because I want to know how the Timeless Child arc plays out. The initial shocks have come and gone, but now this is where we wait and see if the aftershocks are as worse.

When I started my Thirteenth Doctor Reviews, I made a pact that I would cut off all ties with the series going forward if the Fourteenth Doctor was another female. Given the Timeless Child arc and the rumours that Olly Alexander would replace Jodie Whittaker (which would make him the first gay actor to play the Doctor) that came and went because his agent stated that he was focusing on music for the time being, I’ve honestly stopped giving a shit at this point. I’ll probably continue being a casual fan of Doctor Who, watching episodes as they come out, but regardless, all that this series will be to me is like what the Koei Warriors series has degraded itself to over the past decade. I’ll still be grateful for all the inspiration and opportunities it has provided me with over the years, but I’ll probably accept that the series has gone on a downward spiral with seemingly no way of coming back up. But hey, all will be revealed in due time, so the forecast isn’t that bleak for now.

The first look into Series 13 (added 26 July 2021)

So just today, two days after I originally published this post, the teaser trailer for Doctor Who Series 13 was released following the 2021 San Diego Comic Con@Home. Aside from the Doctor, Yaz and Dan, the only other character we see is Vinder, a recurring character throughout the series who will be played by Jacob Anderson. Recurring character, you say, and that’s because Series 13 will apparently be a single serialised story. This brings callbacks to The Trial of a Time Lord or more loosely, the multiple two-parters of Series 9. We still don’t get an exact premiere date, only that it will premiere “later this year”, but given that Series 11 and 12 took about 10 months to film, we can predict that filming of Series 13 will likely be wrapping up in the next month. Whether there will be a shorter run of five or six episodes (thereby reserving two of those episodes for the 2022 specials, assuming they won’t be filmed separately to Series 13) is unknown, but regardless, I’m looking forward to watching and reviewing the series for myself.

Jodie Whittaker and Chris Chibnall leave Doctor Who (added 30 July 2021)

In news that will surprise no one, Jodie Whittaker and Chris Chibnall have announced that they will be leaving the series in 2022. Technically, the news isn’t much of a surprise in terms of Whittaker than it is for Chibnall, as Russell T Davies and Steven Moffat have been showrunner for two Doctors each. But hey, with this, it means that my Thirteenth Doctor Reviews will also be a review of Chibnall’s run as showrunner.

My initial thoughts on this, which may or may not change coming up to Whittaker’s final episode - it was an okay run while it lasted, but honestly, good riddance. How’s that five year plan of yours going, Chibnall? If your plan was to divide the fanbase and leave them hanging with gaps between series, then you’ve really done it.

On top of this, Series 13 will be six episodes long, with the remaining two episodes to be broadcast as specials in 2022. The first of them will be a New Year’s Special (surprise surprise) and the second will follow in Spring 2022 (Northern Hemisphere). The Thirteenth Doctor’s final episode will premiere in Autumn 2022 (Northern Hemisphere) as part of the BBC’s Centenary celebrations. Some tentative dates I’m predicting are 18 October 2022, the 100th anniversary of the BBC, 23 November 2022, the 59th anniversary of Doctor Who, or 1 January 2023, which would make it another New Year’s Special (I’m not discounting 25 December 2022, I just think it’s less likely given how this era has been).

With this, the Fourteenth Doctor is expected to debut in 2023, the 60th anniversary year of Doctor Who. I just hope the new production team doesn’t disappoint the fans with that.

In terms of statistics, Jodie Whittaker has played the Doctor for 31 episodes, making her run the second shortest behind Christopher Eccleston. Peter Capaldi played the Doctor for 40 episodes, Matt Smith for 44 episodes and David Tennant for 47.

My hopes for Whittaker and Chibnall’s final episodes haven’t changed; I want to see what happens with the Timeless Child arc (and also Ruth). Whether the Fourteenth Doctor will be male or female (or played by a non-binary or trans actor), I have a few basic preliminary hopes for the next run; make each series 13 episodes again with a Christmas Special each year and put the series back on Saturday nights, like it was before Whittaker and Chibnall. Also, can we go back to filming in the 16:9 ratio? I can never get over how weird it looks on my screen (at full screen, it doesn’t look so weird when I have it playing on half screen, which is what I usually do when I write my reviews).

Jay Exci - The Fall of Doctor Who

Yes, it has been a while and I know I could have told everyone about this earlier, but better late than never I suppose. A couple of months ago, Jay Exci did a 5-hour long critique of the Chibnall era in his video, The Fall of Doctor Who. For some reason, there are those who see it as controversial because they’re NPCs who don’t want to hear criticism of the Chibnall era or they’re spergs who aren’t mature enough to sit through a 5-hour video they can watch in chunks, but hey, it’s pretty good. This is more in-depth than the reviews that people like Bowlestrek or Nerdrotic make, which essentially put Jay on their level in the eyes of the NPCs despite denying that they are on their level and being a sperg about how they’re better than them. Welcome to the party, Jay, you can check out anytime but you can never leave.

Anyway, you can check out the video below. Even if you don’t feel like watching the whole video, I highly suggest that you watch section 4.2 onwards (timestamped link here) as it does resonate with my feelings on the Timeless Child arc. I swear, this is just like Dynasty Warriors 9 all over again. I know the feeling.

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Cancel culture comes for Noel Clarke and John Barrowman

The thing about cancel culture is that people can be petty about things other people have done or said years ago and they can justify it with the excuse that they’re doing it to hold those people accountable. Depending on the context, it can expose the fact that that person is a major piece of shit or it can be an overreaction to something, which in the minds of today’s society is normally the latter.

Around the time that Noel Clarke was nominated for a Bafta at the end of March, allegations emerged of abuse and sexual misconduct against him. 20 women came forward with their stories and as a result, the final episode of Viewpoint was pulled from broadcast (but still released on Blu-ray and DVD) and Bulletproof was cancelled before filming on the fourth series would begin.

In May, video emerged of Clarke at Chicago TARDIS in 2014 talking about how John Barrowman would expose his genitals and slap it on people and things. This led to allegations about Barrowman surfacing, resulting in him apologising for his actions even though he had already been reprimanded for them over a decade ago and apologised in November 2008. Despite this, his contribution to the immersive theatrical event Doctor Who: Time Fracture was pulled and Big Finish have decided to shelf the release of Torchwood: Absent Friends, which would have featured David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor.

Now, I don’t care about Noel Clarke by any means, but this situation is honestly sad for John Barrowman because it shows that cancel culture spares no victims and leaves no fossil undiscovered. These PR stunts have clearly shown that the spineless people involved with those productions are so concerned with saving face that they are unable to just overlook these transgressions for the sake of fans who actually wanted to see him reprise his role as Captain Jack Harkness. But hey, what do I know? I don’t really care for anything other than the TV series, but it really shows how shameless corporations can be.

Once again, we don’t exactly know when Doctor Who Series 13 will premiere, but if you ask me, I predict that it will premiere in October or November. I’ll see you all again around that time.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #thirteenth doctor review

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tomeandflickcorner · 3 years

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Episode Review- The Real Ghostbusters: They Call Me MISTER Slimer

As you can probably tell from the title, this is a Slimer centric episode. It’s about what you’d expect it to be.

The episode opens with Janine informing Peter and Ray that they’re once again in the red according to the latest financial report, as they’re spending more money than they’re earning. This is because of their standard expenses of covering property damage (good to know they are doing that, as we’ve previously seen they often cause some damages during busts), as well as the cost of utilities, general upkeep of their equipment and food. The moment Janine mentions food, Slimer zooms in and goes a bit nuts in searching for the food. Peter stops him after a few seconds of this to berate the green ghost, saying that all he does is eat and doesn’t contribute anything in return. Slimer responds to this by kissing Peter’s hand, and Ray translates this gesture by stating Slimer pays them back for the food with love. (Ugh, the sappiness of that statement!) Janine then suggests that Slimer could help out by taking on some simple tasks around the Firehouse, as a way to earn his keep. So Peter asks Slimer if he can make himself small. Slimer complies by folding himself down to the size of a post-it note, which is a rather good trick. But it turns out that Peter was actually trying to trick Slimer, because the moment he’s folded himself down, Peter stuffs him into an envelope with the intention of mailing Slimer to a prank-loving friend of his. Naturally, Ray steps in and snatches the envelope away from Peter to let Slimer out. But it seems Slimer’s feelings were hurt by Peter’s trick since he turns and floats out the door.

Slimer proceeds to roam about the city streets. And by coincidence, a teenage boy named Mike is making his way home with a large stack of comics and magazines around the same time. Mike’s journey home is interrupted when he is held up by a group of stereotypical bullies, led by another teenage boy named Rick. Rick’s gang ends up knocking Mike down, with his comics and magazines landing in a puddle. As Rick’s gang walk off laughing, Mike briefly expresses a desire to get even with Rick and the other bullies, but laments that’s not possible, as they outnumber him. And, to make matters worse, an aggressive Doberman suddenly appears and starts chasing after Mike. (Boy, Mike sure is having a bad day!) By happenstance, Slimer overhears Mike’s cries for help and goes to investigate. He ends up unwittingly scaring off the Doberman, and Mike is clearly grateful for this. Mike states that he’s read about ghosts and monsters for years, so he’s not afraid of Slimer. But the fact that Slimer scared away the dog gave him an idea. He asks Slimer if he’d like to be hired as his ghostly bodyguard, charged with protecting him from Rick and the other bullies. Slimer, clearly remembering what Peter had said earlier about not pulling his weight, readily agrees.

Mike brings Slimer home with him and begins teaching Slimer how to be scary. Which seems to be easier said than done, as Slimer is easily frightened himself and even hides upon being shown a picture of a scary Alien monster. However, it seems that Mike’s training eventually was successful because sometime later, Rick’s gang spotted Mike walking around and they decide to harass him again. Rick and the other bullies end up cornering Mike in an alleyway, but this time, Mike is a bit bolder and throws a few good insults back at Rick. Before Rick and the other bullies could pummel Mike, Slimer appears and successfully scares the bullies off.

Of course, Rick’s ego is now bruised, and he’s determined to get back at Mike for making a fool out of him. He decides that, if Mike managed to get a ghost on his side, then he could do likewise. He leads his gang of bullies to a sealed away entrance to Subway 13. Remembering stories he’d heard from his father about how the subway station was closed down years ago because of creepy things living down there, Rick thinks they can use that to their advantage. One of the bullies, showing a bit of common sense, questions this, pointing out that whatever’s down there might not listen to them. But Rick is conceived that the creepy things living down there will naturally follow his lead, because he’s tough. (Yeah, how’s that for logic?) Rick and the others break into the sealed-off subway station and quickly find themselves surrounded by a group of troll-like creatures that will eventually be identified as Barrow Wights. Rick proceeds to tell the Barrow Wights his purpose for coming down to the abandoned subway station. At first, the obvious leader of the Barrow Wights seems suspicious, thinking Rick’s offer was a trap. Rick insists it isn’t, and the Leader Barrow Wight soon accepts the proposed alliance. But the Leader Barrow Wight states that they cannot go aboveground with them unless Rick directly invites them. Rick, rather foolishly, agrees to this and invites them to come aboveground.

Meanwhile, the Ghostbusters have noticed Slimer’s prolonged absence from the Firehouse and are growing concerned, as Slimer has never been gone this long. And Egon had been planning to run some electothermal tests on him, too. Only Peter seems to be unconcerned over Slimer’s absence. But then Janine comes in, announcing they’ve just received an envelope in the mail. An envelope filled with some money. And because the money is covered in slime, it’s very clear that Slimer is the one who sent it. They quickly realize that Slimer has been trying to earn some money on the side, and everyone immediately starts giving Peter the stink-eye, considering it was his earlier comment that must have given Slimer the idea to do such a thing. Anyway, the Ghostbusters wonder how they’d be able to track down where Slimer went off to, as he didn’t include a return address on the envelope of money. Ray suggests they start searching the area covered by the zip code of the post office who handled the envelope. They begin to search the designated area, but still have trouble locating Slimer. Although, Egon does start to pick up an increased level of psychokinetic energy in the area, which was obviously the result of the Barrow Wights escaping from the closed-down subway station. But the energy spike was too diffused to get a precise location, so Egon had to recalibrate the PKE Meter in order to pinpoint the source.

Elsewhere, Mike is walking around when one of Rick’s bullies spots him and calls him over to a nearby warehouse. The bully tells Mike that they want to make amends with him, stating anyone who can get a ghost like Slimer on their side must be an okay guy, and they want to hang out with him now. Mike is naturally hesitant, but decides to go into the warehouse anyway. Although, he tells Slimer, who is with him, to circle around the warehouse, just in case. When Mike enters the warehouse, Rick and the bullies appear on a catwalk, with Rick gloating over how he has his own group of ghosts on his side now. He then gestures to the Barrow Wights, as they emerge from the shadows. But when Rick orders the Barrow Wights to attack Mike, the Leader Barrow Wight turns on Rick, revealing that he never planned on working with Rick after all. He had only intended to trick Rick into inviting them aboveground. And now that they’re free, nothing can stop them from causing all matter of mayhem. And to start things off, the Barrow Wights begin moving threateningly towards Mike, Rick and the other bullies.

Fortunately, the Ghostbuters just happened to be driving by the warehouse at that exact moment. And they’re alerted to the danger when a frightened Slimer flies out and collides with the Ecto-1’s windshield. Upon reuniting with the Ghostbusters, Slimer tells them about the Barrow Wights, which enables us to learn what they’re called and how they operate, as Egon and Ray know all about them. Ray even points out how they share some similarities with vampires, as they can only come above ground if someone directly invites them to do so.

The Ghostbusters enter the warehouse and begin to get to work in busting the Barrow Wights. But up on the catwalk, Mike, Rick and other the bullies are still surrounded by Barrow Wights. Slimer flies up to join them, but reacts to the Barrow Wights with fear. Until Rick mocks him for being a chicken. This prompts Slimer to show a bit of courage, and he manages to fashion a baseball bat out of his slime, which he uses to try and fend off the attacking Barrow Wights. Before long, the combined efforts of Slimer and the Ghostbusters leads to all the Barrow Wights being caught inside Ghost Traps.

In the aftermath of the incident, Mike and Rick decide to call a truce. As for Slimer, Ray praises him for his display of bravery, stating he’s proven he’s worth his weight in gold. But Peter, perhaps jokingly, states he’s not so sure of that. Slimer responds to this by going after Peter with his slime baseball bat.

As far as Slimer centrics go, this is probably the best we could have expected. And it was nice to see Slimer showing some courage. And he even stands up to Peter in the end. Although, I’m not entirely sure why the episode seemed to be suggesting it was wrong for Peter to want Slimer to earn his keep around the Firehouse. Because he did kinda have a point. Considering how much Slimer eats, it wouldn’t hurt for him to contribute something. As for the stuff with Mike and Rick, I personally felt it was a bit eye-rolling. The whole stereotypical bullies picking on the obvious nerd is really overplayed and unoriginal. And the way they resolved things made it feel like one of those afterschool specials. There was no acknowledgement of how Rick tormented Mike for who knows how long or why he saw fit to bully him in the first place. We’re just supposed to accept the fact that things are cool between them now. It was a bit unrealistic. The inclusion of Barrow Wights was an interesting touch though, as they apparently were taken straight out of J.R.R. Tolkien’s famous Lord of the Rings trilogy. And Tolkien reportedly gained inspiration for them from the Draugar, which were spirits in Norse mythology. Interesting bit of trivia there.

(Click here for more Ghostbusters reviews)

#the real ghostbusters #rgb episode review #ghostbusters franchise

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silver-wield · 4 years

Note

Hi! Sorry for bothering you. Don't know if you already did this one (so many analysis) but what did you thought about Sephiroth killing Barret scene? Everyone just go running to Barret and Cloud just froze.

No bother! Sorry for the wait, I had a few things on my plate to clear lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be short-ish.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

The Promise Analysis

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response)

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read)

Cloti action touching

Aerti friendship analysis

Cloti body language chapter 3

Cloti healthy disagreement

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15)

Clerith playground scene

Cloti body language plate fall

Cloud and Barret friendship

Resolution scene analysis (A)

Barret character analysis (chapter 13)

Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn)

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

Okay, so our intrepid heroes have found Aerith, but then Cloud has a ptsd induced attack and passes out. After some exposition courtesy or Red and Aerith, we're back on mission to reach the roof and the Avalanche helicopter waiting for us – thanks to Wedge the cinnamon roll.

Once we reach the President's office we can hear shouting and make our way outside to find Shinra dangling from 70f up. Poor bby. Lemme help you up.

Anyway, Barret stops Tifa going to help (you’re too kind sometimes, T), grabs Shinra and after some massive restraint on his part, tosses him back onto solid ground. He pursues Shinra through the office and then in classic moron moment finds Shinra has a gun pointed at him. I'm not sure why the others didn't go too, but for whatever reason, they're in the doorway while Shinra is making his selfish bastard speech and Barret forgets he's got a literal machine gun for an arm.

Seconds before pulling the trigger, Sephiroth materialises out of thin air – and Cloud's Sephy sense didn't even go off this time – and he stabs Shinra, killing him in an echo of his OG death.

You get a shot of surprised Cloud and Tifa, then Barret lunges for Sephiroth while whispers appear through the doorway.

Ooh damn I'm good! 2nd go and I stop on this shot. First one was blurry.

Ok, this is obviously the moment where Sephiroth runs Barret all the way through. Remember, his sword is like 8ft long or some ridonculous shit like that. It's massive. He has zero need to get close to someone when he stabs them. He didn't do this with Shinra, he was like 3 feet away and still there was plenty of sword sticking out the guy's chest (anyone wonder if Seph is compensating for something? Lol).

Ok, so the point I'm getting at by showing Sephiroth this close to Barret is that this is a personal attack. This isn't something he's done just to kill someone. He's stuck that massive sword all the way through Barret's chest until he's within touching distance of him. This is an attack on Cloud. This is his way of showing Cloud that the vision from the VR scene could absolutely be true. He can make it true.

As for Barret, well he's just been stabbed, so he looks like he wants to go for pizza lol

Tifa automatically reacts and wants to run to Barret and save him. She's lost way too many people over the last day and can't lose anyone else. This is expected of her being the first one to react.

Interestingly, the next one to move is Red. The bromance is real. That's one fast friendship there and I love these two as friends. Barret and Red can snark at each other for a whole game and I'll be happy.

This is a great moment though because it shows that Red's already formed strong bonds with everyone, enough that he'll go to their aid without stopping to think. For an animal character which is hard to read, you can see very easily the pain, fear and panic in his eye.

If you're a meta!Aerith theoriser like me then this is actually too much emotion on her face for someone who barely knows Barret. She looks like she just lost someone very important to her. They met like an hour ago. I love the amount of emotion on her face here, she clearly cares about Barret a lot. That's an “please God oh no” look if ever I saw one. Makes me wanna tear up and no lie.

And Cloud. Who doesn't move because he's literally frozen in place with a wide eyed look of horror on his face. He's seen Sephiroth stab people before. Back in Nebelheim reactor and then in the VR where he had to watch him stab Tifa (ok not really, but the mental trauma is still the same). He's shutting down. SOLDIER!Cloud.exe has stopped working. Have you tried turning him off and on again?

Cloud's terrified of Sephiroth anyway – he literally whimpers during one ptsd attack – so to see him stab Barret? His friend? And he didn’t even see it coming? It's probably sent his entire mind to a point where he can't function. This is the stuff that breaks him.

Aside: How did Sephiroth pull that whole long ass sword out of Barret without moving away? Does he have slenderman arms on the sly?

This is interesting. Sephiroth looks at Cloud, who's still shell-shocked, but then it's like you can see him rebooting. That absolute fury and hatred he has for Sephiroth overrides most of his shock – or tries. You can see the SOLDIER part of him trying to assert control over his fear, but then it wavers and the shock and fear – likely from real!Cloud – take hold again, making his eyes wide and him look as helpless as he feels.

Sephiroth's goal is to always make Cloud feel helpless, out of control, useless to everyone. That way he can control Cloud and make him do whatever he wants. He's a master manipulator and Cloud with all his issues struggles to fight against that mental barrage. It’s something that never goes away for him. This is his lifetime struggle and it’s a metaphor for those who live with mental health issues. There’s no one final battle and it’s all rosy. It’s never ending and some days you win, some days it’s Sephiroth. The point is to fight.

So, then the whisper leaps into Barret to save him and Sephiroth turns into a piece of Jenova. Now we've got some action happening, Cloud shakes off his weakness and goes back into SOLDIER mode.

Conclusion

Cloud can't deal with emotions. Of any kind. He's emotionally stunted, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions. It's the opposite. He feels things far too deeply and intensely and hasn't learned how to process them effectively in a way that doesn't damage himself. This is stuff you learn as you mature from a teenager to an adult. This is stuff Cloud's been denied by being a lab rat for 4 years. His body may be an adult, but part of him is still 16. He needs to experience life to help him mature and catch that emotional development up to the rest of him. (which is my way of saying he won't be like a 16yr old forever).

Cloud's real and genuine affection for his friend over-rid any kind of control he had over himself and made it impossible for him to move when he saw Barret stabbed. He's also lost too many people, which is partly why he has that SOLDIER persona protecting him. Sephiroth's taunting look made it clear this was to get at Cloud. It had very little to do with Barret. Cloud's anger broke through his shock, but that weakness reasserted itself quickly afterwards, keeping him from acting until Jenova Dreamweaver appeared and he finally had something for SOLDIER!Cloud to take care of.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #character analysis #Cloud Strife

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mysweetestcreature · 4 years

Text

Tomorrow Never Knows (President!Harry) Chapter 12: All I Want for Christmas

***

Author’s note: Hiiiiii, so I honestly have no idea what happened to the post scheduled for earlier, but Tumblr has always been a little b*tch so I’m not surprised lmao. This version isn’t as well edited as the one that disappeared, so please excuse any slips (it’s late and I’m kind of drunk so teehee). ANYWAY! Happy Holidays, everyone! Thank you so much for everything you do for me. From the bottom of my heart, I love you all :’)

***

Masterlist

***

Saturday December 13, 2008

With the holiday season comes all things festive; from brilliant and twinkling lights wrapped around post lamps, to an army of nutcracker statuettes that line town square, and finally that wishful little mistletoe hung above a few select archways and unsuspecting doorframes. There’s a different attitude that floats in the air during this time of year, an unexplainable elation swirled in with a dash of mild intensity.

You’ll never see more people in one place than at the mall, when everyone is on a mission to find that perfect gift, maybe even the perfect outfit for the office Christmas party with the cheap wine, or something of a school dance that may or may not be the social event of the year (unless you’re a senior, then prom is most definitely the only thing to look forward to).

“Why can’t I see it?” Harry pouts, peeking into the gaps of the brown Bloomingdale’s paper bag.

She rolls her eyes; this is probably the eighth time in twenty minutes he’s asked her. For some reason he’d been under the impression that he’d get to see her try it on. Much to his dismay (but to her amusement), however, it had been a quick and easy pick up from the alterations department on the third floor. “Because I’m your girlfriend, and I said you can’t.”

Harry frowns slightly, eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t really see a correlation between those two statements, although. . .” He backs her against a wall, hands finding their place on the curves of her hips. A cheeky grin replaces his former expression, dimples making their indents on either side of his mouth. “I do like it when you call yourself my girlfriend.”

Humming, she tilts her head to the side and wraps her arms around his middle. He swallows when she grazes the tip of her nose to his, his mouth parting in anticipation. They’re close enough that he can easily smell her strawberry lip balm. “Yeah?” she speaks meekly. The radiant look in her eyes makes his heart beat thrice its usual rhythm. He nods in response, just about ready to lean down.

Of course, timing has never been their strongest point, and Harry’s phone rings annoyingly from the pocket of his North Face. He sighs, dropping his head down, eyes squeezing shut when he sees the name lit up on the screen. “Are you gonna answer that, or should I?” Y/n giggles, snatching his cell from between his fingers. He shakes his head and pleads her not to pick it up, but she flips the cover open and brings it right to her ear. “Hi, Anne!”

There’s a string of mumbles from under his breath. He had assumed that they’d be free from interruptions once they’d finally gotten together, but time and time again (an average of three times a week, he’s noticed) there’s always someone out to mess with him. The other day, Mason had squirmed his way between them while they were cuddled up under her favorite fluffy blanket, and Harry had only taken notice when he turned to peck her on the cheek only to end up with half his face covered in peanut butter frosting (his girlfriend––and he really can’t stress enough how happy the title makes him––thought it was absolutely hilarious).

“Yeah, we’re just about finished. . .” She playfully pushes his face to the side when he gives her another pout. “Okie dokie, we’ll be out in a sec. . .see you in a bit!” The call ends with the clap of the main screen against the keypad. She gives him a toothy grin and rises to the tips of her toes to press a gentle kiss to the side of his mouth. “Let’s go?”

***

She’s on her bed when Cici barges into her room, a tote full of clothes hanging off her shoulder that she then drops by the closet door. “Where’s your knight with shining curls?” her best friend snorts as she plops herself down on her bed. She’d texted earlier saying that she would be hiding at the Y/l/n residence to escape the arrogance of her visiting aunt’s family.

Y/n looks up from flipping through her latest issue of Teen Vogue. “I think he should be here quarter of.” He’d left over two hours ago to help his mom and sister decorate their Christmas tree.

“I see you got your dress,” Cici notices, reaching for the bag by her nightstand. She pulls the stapled edges apart with an approving look from Y/n, then pulls out the garment until the bag falls back to the floor. “Oh damn!” she whistles, kneeing the mattress as she holds it up. “Has Harry seen this yet?”

“I’ve literally done everything in my power to avoid that,” she mutters, falling back against her pile of pillows. The implications of not going to the dance with her boyfriend hadn’t registered with her until yesterday when Zoey had showed him the exact corsage that she wanted him to get her. Now she feels almost sick thinking about Zoey’s perfectly manicured and deadly nails racking around her boyfriend’s body while she forces him to dance. And maybe that’s why she doesn’t want Harry to see her dress just yet, she wants to surprise him the day of because the petty part of her wants to send Zoey a clear message.

Cici snorts loudly, laying down next to her, and both girls just stare up at the ceiling. “If you want my honest opinion, I think you should just go together. So, what if a few people get butt hurt? Do you really want to see that bitch try to make moves on him?”

“Obviously not, but. . .” she lets out a long sigh. “Jasper.” She keeps having to remind herself that she’s Jasper’s date, and it just wouldn’t be fair to him if she were to be an absent companion. “He keeps saying how excited he is for this, and I don’t know Ci. I don’t have the heart to tell him that I don’t want to go formal with him, let alone that the reason being that I want to go with my boyfriend of what? Two weeks now?” She’s given this whole lot of thought, really, she has! Sure, the easiest solution would be to call off her date with Jasper, but she doesn’t want him to think that he was only a stand in for Harry until they finally admitted their feelings. No one should be subjected to that kind of impairing thought.

“You’re being way being too nice––maybe the pope will canonize you one day. ‘Saint Y/n’ patron saint of the criminally kind.”

She pulls a pillow from behind and whacks the side of her friend’s head, who then whacks her back with just as much force. “Stop being so dramatic, this isn’t Gossip Girl.”

“And it’s a travesty,” Cici tuts, but her eyes start to twinkle as she loses herself in thought. “If it were, I’d be Mrs. Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald by now. Don’t you think Chace Crawford and I would make the most beautiful babies?”

“They’ll have the best eyebrows, that’s for sure.”

“Right!?”

***

Friday December 19, 2008

The last day before the winter formal––and furthermore the last day until winter break–– and it’s all the students of Ashwood can talk about. At every turn, all that can be heard is who’s attending with who or what designer their dress is from. Almost all of their classes have resorted to study halls since apparently no one can stay focused for more than five minutes at a time, which really is stupid since midterms are scheduled only two weeks after they come back.

On the plus side, since they’re screening Home Alone 2 in Spanish, it at least distracts the rest of the class while she and Harry giggle to themselves in the back-left corner of the room. During the beginning of their relationship, they had at least tried to remain discreet so as to avoid all the theories of conspiracy from the school’s notorious gossips over at the Ashwood Almanac. As the final days of the year dwindle down, however, all precautions to keep everything on the down-low have disintegrated, and they’ve probably shared a few not-so-private (though none have ever been in front of a grand audience. . .about five people, max) smooches when they part ways after a long history lesson with Mr. Noone.

“As in right in the nuts?” he laughs through the question, his arm wrapped around the back of her chair as his fingers tread through loose locks. She’s telling him all about how Mason had thrown a snowball, which had actually ended up having a moderately sized rock lodged in there somehow, directly between Jeremy’s legs. And yeah, he does feel bucket loads of sympathy because he can’t even count how many times he’s had a football to the groin in his years of being an athlete, but he’s more so charmed by how animated she is when she talks about her family.

“I don’t know how he did it, but then Dad went completely cross-eyed when it hit him. Like this.” For a split second, she’s able to mimic his reaction and it has him trying to contain his amusement with her shoulder before Señora Gustavo can scold them for being too disruptive.

After a few moments settled within a comfortable silence, enough time for them to let Jeremy’s many woes fade from consciousness, their eyes meet again, and he just smiles at her. It’s one of those sappy lovesick smiles that would have surely made her knees buckle had she not already been sitting down.

“So, Mum’s Christmas Eve party, you’re all going, right?” he asks, his thumb grazing the side of her arm. For as long as he can remember, Anne’s been hosting this party every year without fail. He supposes it started when she and his dad were still together––maybe even before then––since he’s seen pictures from the early nineties before even Gemma was born. Even when they’d moved to the States, his mum has always been the sociable sort, so during that first year away from Holmes Chapel had been filled with the company of their neighbors and over a dozen of her colleagues. This time around, Harry’s excitement is beyond a scale’s capacity because his granddad is flying in to celebrate with them. After all their long phone calls, he’ll finally be able to introduce him to the girl he’s been gushing over for months.

Y/n nods eagerly. “And I already know what I’m making,” she says. There were a few options that she toyed with before falling asleep until ultimately deciding on one special dessert that she sure hopes will be a crowd pleaser come the 24th. It’s something that in theory she knows how to make, but it’ll require a few test runs and backups since she’s aiming for nothing less than perfection. “Your mom mentioned it during Thanksgiving, so I really hope she’ll like it!”

“Don’t want you going through too much trouble. Mum will like anything you make. Went on and on about those pumpkin spice cookies you brought around the house Sunday.”

“I know, but. . .” Her lips curl inward and trap themselves between her teeth. She looks down into her lap, fingers messing with a stray thread where her skit had been hemmed. “I just. . .I don’t know. Do you think she’s mad––okay, not mad, but you know. . .annoyed––at me for the whole Jasper-Zoey thing? You keep saying it isn’t, but it’s a hundred percent my fault that we’re not going together.”

“Baby, no. Don’t say that,” Harry frowns, and he doesn’t realize the new endearment to have tumbled off the tip of his tongue. “This whole dance thing doesn’t mean anything anyway, and it definitely doesn’t change this.” He gestures between the two of them, a lopsided smile spread from cheek to cheek.

Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms. “You’re being all cheesy because you want me to kiss you again.”

A loud scoff erupts from the back of his throat, and Señora Gustavo glares up from her laptop to give him another warning. There’s a moment when his face impersonates annoyance (but his arm still remains around her frame), and he begrudgingly turns his attention to Kevin McCallister wreaking havoc on his two unmatched foes. She does the same, but from the corner of her eye she sees the way his mouth plays with his words. In her head, she counts backwards from five, holding in a smirk as the numbers dwindle down. Harry pouts to himself, before he turns back to her.

“Are my chances high, at least?”

***

Saturday December 20, 2008

“Sweetheart, you look so beautiful!” Liv gushes as she brushes Y/n’s hair back, standing behind her in front of the vanity’s mirror. Y/n looks at herself carefully, her lips pulled up but pressed firmly together. The day has finally arrived, and she doesn’t think she can feel any more anxious than she does right now. Half her hair is pulled back while the rest is curled into the soft waves that fall just beneath her shoulders. Her dress is hung to the side, the sequins almost blinding as they reflect in the bathroom light.

They’d spent the last two hours doing her hair and makeup, which Liv had insisted she do herself since aside from dentistry and orthodontics, is probably her second passion in life. There’s a story she always likes to tell, about how she’d worked for a beauty salon during college for some extra cash but had ended up staying all four years because she found the whole transformation process to be exciting for both herself and her clients.

“I remember my first high school dance,” her mom continues, and she takes the dress off the hanger and signals for Y/n to stand up. “Now, my dress wasn’t nearly as form-fitting as yours. I mean, what do you expect from the 80s?” She chuckles lightly, shaking her head as she remembers exactly what she wore in her freshman year. Y/n braces herself against the wall as she steps into the pooled dress. “Philip Russo had asked me, and boy oh boy, was he something.”

Y/n snorts as she holds the lace fabric to her chest. “Does Dad know you still think about your high school boyfriend?”

Liv rolls her eyes, zipping the back up with one firm pull. “Oh of course, I talk about him every night before bed. You know what, honey? If I hadn’t met you, I would probably be living in Austin with Philip Russo and our seven kids. It makes for great pillow talk.”

“Did someone call me?” Jeremy’s voice calls from the master bedroom. Followed by his much shorter shadow, he saunters into the bathroom.

Mason scampers past his dad and wraps his arms around his sister’s legs. “You look like a princess!” he giggles, picking at one of the beads.

“You really think so, Mase?” she smiles, cupping his cheeks in her hand so he can look up at her.

The little boy nods furiously. “Yeah! And that means Harry’s your prince, right? Because the prince and princess always kiss each other, right? You and Harry kissed yesterday! I saw it!” He even looks to Liv for support. “Right, Mommy?”

Y/n digs her nails into her palms. The three of them had agreed to keep Mason upstairs when Jasper picks her up just to avoid all awkwardness if her brother wonders where Harry might be. That’s not to say that her parents are completely on board with the idea of this bizarre arrangement. Jeremy had been quite vocally against it because he much rather send his daughter off with a boy he’s come to know and like, rather than. . .well, he’s never met this other boy, so that’s already a red flag in his book.

“Now what I want to know is why you were snooping on your sister and Harry, huh?” she counters, hands on her hips and toe tapping with parental flare.

“Because Daddy said I have to keep an eye on them when he’s not home.”

Jeremy’s jaw just drops. “You little traitor,” he grumbles, glaring down at his son. “I told you not to tell the girls about our little secret.”

“Secret secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone!”

“Enough out of you.” Jeremy lifts the boy up and places him over his shoulder. It’s now that he’s able to get a good look at his daughter, his not so little girl. Y/n notices a glisten in his eyes the longer he studies her.

“Dad,” she whines, “remember you said you wouldn’t be dramatic?”

“I know, I know, but. . .” He twirls her around, a couple times before taking in her full image once more. “First, it's just a school dance, then it’s your wedding day. Jesus Christ, I’m getting old.”

***

The theme of this year’s winter formal is Winter Wonderland, and despite its cliché nature, student council and the decorations committee had managed to transform the events hall into somewhat of a festive paradise. There’s fake snow falling gracefully in the backdrop at the photographer’s station, where some of the more smitten couples strike their cutest poses as their arms wrap around the other’s figures. Dressed to the nines in their best attire, a few students are already swaying to the DJ’s soundtrack, while others mingle in groups by the punch bowl.

Harry is somewhat part of the latter category, his one hand occupied with his untouched beverage, the other buried deep in his pocket as he stands stiffly at Zoey’s side. She’s bragging about the price tag on her dress, gushing over how her daddy bought it right from the designer himself. “And he totally gave me his number and said I could stop by the New York office any time.”

“Bunch of bollocks,” Harry snorts into his cup, the fruity red liquid just barely grazing his top lip.

Zoey turns around, a sickeningly sweet and glossy smile greeting him. “What was that?” she asks, far too perky in her mannerisms, in his opinion.

“Nothing.” He takes a long sip for no other reason than to keep himself distracted. It works for a few more minutes, with him only participating in their conversation when he’s directly addressed, or if Zoey wants another damn refill of water.

Now, he isn’t quite sure what had possessed him to ask Zoey, of all the girls he could have chosen, to the dance. It was right after Y/n had told him she’d be going with Jasper, and he’d gone outside to clear his head. Who was the first (okay, second, but Señora Gustavo does not count) person he’d run into? The decision had been made in a split second, and for fuck’s sake his biggest regret is not taking a few more to think about it.

“Harry!” He turns on his heel at the call of his name, the first genuine smile of the night cheering up his downcast features when he sees Cici and Maxxie arrive through the doors. Excusing himself, he all but runs to them, enveloping both in a hug that’s filled with every bit of relief.

“Oh, thank god,” he sighs. “She’s driving me up the walls.”

Cici looks over his shoulder, brow raised as she glares at the redhead. “Are those next season’s Christian Louboutin’s? Unbelievable!”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you,” Maxxie teases, poking her side. “I’m not jealous. Just annoyed that the nasty ones always get first serve. And it’s honestly super annoying that she looks kind of good.”

“She’s beautiful. . .” Harry says suddenly, and both Maxxie and Cici gasp at his confession. The latter smacks his chest, and steam practically flares from her nostrils because she’s always had that protective instinct. Maxxie is more sensible, however, and he follows the line of Harry’s gaze right the source. It’s then he takes it upon himself to turn their friend around.

“What are you–”

It’s a scene right out of a movie as Y/n steps through the door, gently shielding her eyes as one of the moving spotlights casts down on her. Her dress reflects a light just as strong, and it manages to catch the attention of a majority of those around. She searches for something, fingers fiddling at her front as she looks unsurely through the room. It’s when she sees the three of them that she smiles widely.

“Guys!” she waves to them, lifting the skirt of her dress as she jogs over. “Oh my gosh, Ci! You look amazing!” she squeals, hugging her friend.

“I know.” Cici has never been one to maintain modesty, but it’s one of the reasons why Y/n loves her. “But look at you! Oh my god, you look like Hilary Duff.”

“That seems to be the consensus apparently,” she blushes. She gives Maxxie a kiss on the cheek, giggling when he whispers something in her ear. It earns him a pinch to his side, and he playfully huffs as he directs himself and Cici to one of the empty tables.

It just leaves her and Harry.

He has to resist the urge to reach out.

“You look. . .wow,” he’s at a loss for words.

Her eyes fall to their feet. “Still trying to get that kiss, I see.” And maybe she wishes she didn’t have to pretend like she doesn’t want to. It happens so quickly that she would’ve missed it she wasn’t paying any attention. His lips press against hers in a kiss. . .or maybe more appropriately a peck. But as her eyes flutter open, she’s met with a cheeky smile to top off an expression that constantly reminds her how in love she is with the boy in front of her.

***

She thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to see Zoey hang off her boyfriend like some pathetic sloth until right at this very moment. And she knows she shouldn’t let it all get to her because Harry had assured her over a dozen times over the phone that she’d be the only person he’ll be paying any attention to, but she really can’t help but feel mildly insecure. She hasn’t even had the chance to tell him how handsome he looks because Zoey had abruptly whisked him away as soon as Mariah Carey had started playing through the speakers. Take that, and the fact that Jasper had finally found his way to her after he’d talked to a few friends by the entrance.

The car ride here had been a bit awkward, if she’s being honest. Jeremy hadn’t been so successful in keeping Mason upstairs, and the little boy had even been the one to open the door because he had been anticipating a completely different face. “You’re not–” Luckily, Liv had been there to cover his mouth before he could say anything more. “Kids! Am I right?” And after a few quick snaps from her mom’s camera, they were off in his dad’s SUV, both sat in the back seat with the middle completely empty. There was some small talk, mostly questions of ‘are you excited’ or ‘hopefully the food is good’ and whatnot. She had tried her best, she really had, to keep things light and non bothersome, but she can sense that he knows something’s up.

“Hey,” she touches Jasper’s arm. “I’m just gonna go to the ladies’ room.”

***

When she walks out of the bathroom, she feels herself being whisked to the side. Before she can let out a yelp, she catches a whiff of his familiar scent, and it’s enough to soothe her panic.

“Are you crazy?” she giggles, looking down at the other end of the hall. “We’re supposed to be in there.”

Harry shrugs nonchalantly before leaning his forehead against hers. “Just a little.”

“Thank god we got that settled then.” She lets her hands fall into his hair, loving the way his soft brown curls feel in the slope between her fingers. For the first time tonight, she feels completely at ease as their bodies sway gently to the echo of a song. “Hi,” she whispers.

It’s then he gives her a proper embrace, holding her as close to him as he can, letting everything around them fade into the back of his mind.

“Hi.” He buries his nose into her hair. “I’m sorry this is how we have to share our first dance.”

He then pulls away just enough to look into her eyes, his heart swelling when she cups his face and presses a long kiss to his lips. The hold he has around her waist tightens as he deepens it further.

“It’s okay,” she answers when she breaks free in need of air. She giggles as she swipes his mouth of any traces of her lip gloss. “I’m actually surprised you were able to get away from your date.”

Rolling his eyes, Harry lets out a humorless snort that she happens to find greatly entertaining. “It wasn’t easy, let me tell you. I had to make up some excuse about how my stomach was feeling all out of sorts when I saw you walk out. Figured it was the perfect opportunity to get my girl alone. Plus. . .” He directs her gaze above, and she can’t help but laugh when she sees a mistletoe hung above them. Without missing a beat, his lips find their way back to hers.

***

Come talk to me about our babies!

#president!harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles drabbles #harry styles

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can (27/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I’m the slightest bit overwhelmed by how kind a lot of you are and how many people have become invested in this story. It’s the coolest thing seeing the happiness it brings some of you, even if I am stressing you out right now. Whenever I get a message about how a story has made someone’s bad day better, I get a little smile on my face. You are all awesome ☺️

Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for being my beta! Don’t fret. She yelled at me a lot about this part of the story too, so it’s not just you guys and it does get better.

AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @stunningswan @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury @superchocovian @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog@cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings

-/-

Emma has never once complained about having off from work before.

Not once.

She has four days off right now. It’s four days of no baseball and no responsibility, and she has been looking forward to it for months ever since she first saw the time off on the calendar and marked it in a huge red circle. There’s nothing quite like having the ability to sleep in, not brush your hair, and lounge around in pajamas all day as you watch professional athletes hit tennis balls back and forth at each other at one hundred miles per hour as they play the US Open.

But there’s a bit of a sting to it all when two tickets to the semi-finals tomorrow are saved in her phone, and she hasn’t spoken to the person who bought them for her in three days.

(They’re in the nosebleed section so no one would notice them, and Emma remembers laughing out loud when Killian showed her the seats because she has no idea how they would even see the ball.)

Okay, there’s more than a bit of a sting.

It fucking hurts.

There’s always been a reason why she didn’t make plans so far ahead of time, not ones that require monetary and emotional commitments from her, but she’s been breaking all of her rules over the past five and half months. All of them. She’s made plans to go to Portland, to go to a wedding, to go to this idiotic set of matches that she would actually really love to go to.

All of them with Killian.

Emma should have known better. She honestly should have. Every time she ever made plans with Neal or Walsh or any other man that she was dating, they always fell through. They never held up. Either the relationship would endend, or the guy would fade away at the last minute. It didn’t matter. Every time she got her hopes up, they fell back to the ground and were crushed under the weight of her own disappointment.

Neal was the definition of flaky. He was always making these big plans with big dreams and promising her so damn much before ripping the rug out from under her so quickly that she barely even had time to brace herself before she fell flat on her ass. And the really shitty thing is that she didn’t even realize how awful it was that he was doing that to her because that’s what people had been doing her entire life – foster parents, social workers, childhood friends, her birth parents. That little seed of hope would be planted, roots would start to grow, and then it’d all be torn out of the ground. She was in a relationship like that for years and then fell into the same exact trap two years later.

Why would Killian be any different?

(Of course he is different.)

A laugh escapes her lips at that, one she didn’t give permission to, and all it does is make Emma curl into her bed a little bit more, wrapping her arms around her pillow and yanking the blankets further up her body so that the outside world can’t get to her. It’s just Emma, her laptop, and a bag of salt and vinegar chips that are most likely going to break her tongue out.

As it should be.

This is not how her day was supposed to go.

Not at all.

Killian was supposed to come over after his morning training, and he was going to spend time with her and probably Ruby, debating television shows and movies and eating whatever takeout he decided to bring on his way here. But Killian isn’t here. She doesn’t even know where he is. Probably not training considering he’s out for the rest of the regular season.

It’s what he told her, but it’s also what she’s read in about fifteen different articles online.

And what she had to post on her Twitter account as part of her job. Life is funny that way. You think you can avoid your boyfriend and all information about him, but she can’t. It’s part of her freaking job.

She couldn’t have kept herself from reading the articles online if she’d tried.

(She didn’t.)

There’s a knock on her door, a sound that Emma has been ignoring for most of the past few days, but she didn’t turn the lock when she went to get her chips two hours ago, so Ruby easily opens the door and walks into her bedroom. She’s got her hair pulled back into a ponytail and is wearing leggings and a sports bra like she just went to the Pilates class that Emma skipped out on.

She shouldn’t have done that.

Fueling her emotions into that would probably have been a much healthier way to cope. No, it definitely would have been. Exercise is better than stuffing her mouth with junk food even if junk food feels so much better at first.

Shit. She’s pathetic. But honestly, she doesn’t even care.

“Hey,” Ruby says quietly as she shuts the door behind her. “How are you feeling?”

Emma doesn’t respond, just curls herself further into her pillow like the pathetic person she is as a tennis ball is thwacked across the court and bounces up into the bottom level of the stands. But Ruby, never one to be deterred by anything, walks across the room and settles down on the bed behind Emma, wrapping her arms around her stomach and pulling her closer while Ruby’s chin rests on her shoulder.

It’s the most considerate touch she’s felt in days, and it’s the only time that someone hasn’t shown her pity or tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay. After she left the hospital, leaving Killian behind with her mind reeling and falling down a hole with no escape, Emma immediately went to her apartment and changed into running clothes before running until her legs wouldn’t work anymore. It was fifteen miles, something she’s done before, something that’s not even her personal best, and she thought that she could keep going.

She had to keep going.

But the adrenaline died out on her, all of her anger and rage and, frankly, sadness dissipated into barely being able to breathe, and she’d swiped her metro card and walked through the gates to get on the train that would take her to David’s house because she needed him like she hadn’t needed him in years. David is always the reasonable one, is always the one who makes her see things that she can’t see, but he wasn’t there. It was only Leo and Mary Margaret, and as much as Emma loves Mary Margaret, she couldn’t understand why Emma was so hurt by Killian lying to her.

It’s not what the lie was, though that is a pretty big deal. It’s the fact that the lie happened.

Over and over again.

She gave him her heart in all of the shattered and glued back together pieces, and as careful as he is with it, he still managed to add a crack or two.

How could she have ever expected otherwise?

Why did she?

Why does she still want him to be the one to help her keep holding it together?

David had eventually come home and seen her talking to Mary Margaret, and somehow, he just knew that she needed him to hold her for a little while. He did, cupping the back of her head with his hand and not placating her by telling her that everything was okay or that she shouldn’t be angry or anything else that she wasn’t quite ready to hear yet.

There were a lot of things she wasn’t ready to hear that day.

“Do you want to go for a walk with me sometime today?” Ruby asks, and Emma breathes out on a sigh, her stomach swirling in a messy cloud of anxiousness over the fact that Ruby has finally decided that Emma has to talk. She’s been waiting for it. She’s also been expecting a much more abrasive conversation. “I know that your legs probably still feel like shit from that crazed run you went on, but I feel like a walk would be good. Fresh air, exercise, maybe I will even stop and buy two dozen donuts. You know, really splurge and keep them to ourselves and not let Graham have any.”

Emma chuckles, and this time she’s kind of glad for it. It’s not a big belly laugh, but it’s something.

Baby steps are better than nothing.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a walk?

“Nope. It’s good to get our legs moving, work some of this laziness out of you. Plus, I fully plan on making us walk the full perimeter of Central Park, so we’ll have earned those donuts. If we haven’t died first because that’s a huge ass park.”

“You do realize that Bryant park is closer?”

“And that’s exactly why we’re not going there.” Ruby squeezes her again, pretty much hugging her, and it may actually make Emma’s heart swell. “C’mon, Ems. Indulge me for an afternoon, okay? It’s not like you to lay in bed like this. I don’t like it.”

It’s not. She’s already thought that. This isn’t her. She’s not the type of girl who lays around in bed because she’s upset that she and her boyfriend got into a fight, if that’s even what this can be called. There wasn’t exactly any fighting, even if her mind has managed to create the illusion that there was. Honestly, she barely let him get any words in besides his explanation of what happened. And she’s not the type of girl who cries and eats ice cream and wonders how life will ever go on.

There’s nothing wrong with doing that, but it’s not her.

And she hasn’t cried. That’s beside the point, though.

“It’s really comfortable in here, okay?”

“You’re moping.”

“Then let me mope.”

Ruby sighs and hugs her a little closer.

“Emma, I know that I might not seem like the most emotionally mature person at times, but I’ve been in a steady relationship for a long time. I know that things like this happen, and I know that after lying in bed for nearly three days now, you need to get your ass up. You’re not going to find any solutions at the bottom of that chip bag.”

“I hate Graham for helping you be so emotionally stable. You used to hate love.”

“It’s all the good fucking. I’m telling you. Knocked some sense right into me.”

Emma barks out a laugh and completely rolls over on her stomach, letting Ruby’s arms release her as she snorts into the pillow. “You are the worst,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by the material.

“I am the best.” There’s a slap against her ass that has Emma jumping and rolling over again so that she nearly knocks over her laptop. “Now, go brush your teeth, put on some deodorant, and change clothes so we can take over the city with our powerwalk like the rich old ladies we’ve always aspired to be.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

It’s an actual blazing inferno outside, the heat curling up from the concrete to practically burn through Emma’s sneakers, and it makes her really not want to be out on this walk. But she knows that the faster she walks, the faster she can go back home and retreat back to her room. All she really wants is to go back to her room.

And get under the shades of the trees in the park. September needs to end and allow October to roll in so that she won’t sweat every time she steps outside. This is ridiculous.

It’s probably all of the salt and vinegar leaving her pores. What a thought to have.

If only eating strawberries or kale or something was a good emotional comfort food.

It’s a little over a mile to the park, and as awful as the entrance is all full of tourists and street vendors and people trying to sell her a guide to the city like she doesn’t know it’s on a grid system, Emma is thankful just to have the slight breeze and be away from the masses of people. She won’t admit it, not out loud, but Ruby was right to get her to get up and get moving. When she’s lounging around, her mind wanders to things that it shouldn’t wander to, and at least now she’s able to put all of her focus on putting one foot in front of the other and watching all of the people around her.

Why pay for Broadway tickets when you can watch people in Central Park?

The air-conditioning. Yep. The air-conditioning.

They walk for an hour, just a casual stroll that Emma keeps thinking should be a run, but the heat of the day becomes too much for her, her heartbeat going wild, and as soon as she sees an unoccupied bench in the shade, she makes a run for it, leaving Ruby to catch up from behind. It’s a bit ridiculous, but this is a golden opportunity to allow herself to sit down and breathe without anyone bothering her since most people in the area are concentrated around the boathouse and not the little beaten path to the side of it.

“I hate summer,” Ruby groans when she reaches the bench. “It’s the worst. I don’t care that it’s when all of the good sports happen. It’s too damn hot.”

Emma bends down to rest her elbows on her knees and cradle her head in her palms. “It was your idea to come out here.”

“Yeah, well, you were depressing me.”

She doesn’t say anything back, taking a moment to breathe and stare down at the laces on her shoes. One of them is about to come untied, but she can’t bother to fix it. There’s no point if she plans on never moving from this spot. The sweat that’s trickling down her back is going to keep her glued here anyways.

How the hell did she run fifteen miles the other day? What kind of rage-fueled adrenaline was that?

“Killian lied to me about his shoulder.”

The words come out without her permission. She doesn’t even remember thinking them. Her mind was blank and then all of the sudden they were there, escaping from her tongue and her lips and becoming part of the air that’s surrounding she and Ruby.

Emma is still staring at the ground. Her hand has also unconsciously found the chain around her neck, the one with Killian’s mom ring that he gave her as a good luck charm. She hasn’t been able to take it off. She wanted to, wanted to take away that reminder of him, but she couldn’t do it.

Killian wanted her to have one of his most prized possessions, and as mad as she is at him right now, she can’t take it off. It means too much to her to have been given something like this.

“He lied to me,” she continues, taking a deep breath, though she’s not sure if it’s from the exercise or the emotions running a race in her mind and wearing down her nerves. “And I get it. He was scared. He – ”

“He didn’t want you to think less of him for being broken.”

“How do you know that?”

“Mary Margaret told me. You know she can’t keep a secret.”

Emma chuckles, but it’s a weak one, before lifting her head back up so that all of her blood can return to its rightful place. She was starting to get worried it wouldn’t. All she can really focus on is how cool the metal of the ring is against her stomach.

“Unlike you have apparently become, I am not the best with my emotions,” Emma continues. All of the words she’s been holding up are bubbling up to the surface and ready to spill over and run rampant. “I’m pretty shitty with them, but Killian made me feel comfortable, you know? When we’re together, I do pretty okay sharing all of the broken parts of me. He knows a lot of stuff that not even you know, and I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we trusted each other enough to share the brokenness. And trust me, we have a lot of it. We’ve had…we’ve had pretty shitty lives at some points, and I am so mad at him for repeatedly not telling me that he was hurt and for not being smart enough to stop playing and get some help. It’s not that big of an injury, but it could have been. He loves that stupid game, and he’s going to lose it if he keeps doing things like this.”

Ruby reaches down and grabs Emma’s hand and wraps her fingers around her palm and squeezes so that Emma has to look up at the sky to stop the tears from finally falling. This is dumb. This is all so dumb, and every bit of it could have been avoided.

“I think though,” Emma continues, still blinking away the tears, “past the lying and this gut-wrenching fear that he’s going to lie to me about other things too, I’m mostly hurt that he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me. I love him so much, Rubes. He probably has no idea how much I love him because I barely know how to express it, and, but I don’t know how to fully trust him if this is going to be a pattern.”

Ruby’s sighs, and Emma swears that she feels it in her own bones. Her heartrate has calmed down, something next to normal, and she no longer feels like she’s going to throw up. She was kind of feeling like that for a little while, and the guy sitting in the grass fifteen feet away from them reading a book in peace probably wouldn’t appreciate that.

“You’ve got to talk to him.”

“I don’t – ”

“You don’t want to right now,” Ruby finishes for her, and Emma twists her head to the side to look over at the lake instead of at Ruby. “I know. I got that. You have every right to be pissed off at him. You have every right to kick and scream and feel anger so deep in your belly that it aches when you breathe. It doesn’t matter what he lied to you about. If it hurt you, it hurt you. Case closed.”

“I know but – ”

“Nope, nope, you’re going to let me finish. I am on a roll, and you’re going to crush my momentum.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Ruby squeezes her hand again before letting go. “Killian should not have lied to you. That’s just…I know we all tell little white lies, but this is obviously different. He shouldn’t have lied to you or to anyone. He should have trusted the people who he loves with the things he’s struggling with, but I don’t think this was about him not trusting you. He didn’t tell his family about any of it either.”

“They knew about the accident.”

“To be fair, Liam was there, and I think there’s no way Elsa couldn’t find out.”

“Semantics.”

“Very important ones,” Ruby points out. “I don’t – I’m not trying to tell you how to feel. I’m just saying that Killian didn’t do this out of malicious intent. He’s not Walsh, and he’s certainly not Neal. He is not spending his time trying to bring you down because he can’t handle being with a successful woman. I honestly think he’s scared of losing you and of losing the game, and that can make people do things that they wouldn’t usually do. You may not realize it, but I think you have become just as important to Killian as baseball is – if not more so. I know all about that ring you keep messing with and how big of a deal it is. Honey, he wouldn’t have given that to you if he didn’t love you. I’m not saying that fixes everything because it doesn’t. You have to talk to him and let yourself trust him if you think he’s worth trusting.”

Ruby echoes the words Killian said to her in Elsa’s office, the words that she repeated to Mary Margaret when she was trying to explain what was going on. They’re right. They’re all right, and she hates it. She doesn’t even know why. She should be thrilled that everyone seems to think that Killian didn’t set out to hurt her.

She thinks that too.

But Ruby is right in the fact that he did hurt her and right in the fact that she should be allowed to feel how she feels. How could she not with everything that’s happened to her in her life?

But she’s not thrilled.

And it’s dumb. Really, really dumb. Because she should want to get up from this bench and run to Killian’s apartment. It’s not far, maybe another mile walk, but she has absolutely emotionally exhausted herself to the point that talking about this more would be too much for her.

Talking everything out is still new to her, and when the stakes are this high, that pestering feeling that it’s all going to go wrong is continually building. Because what if Killian realizes that she’s more broken than he thinks too she is, and it’s all too much to deal with? Their relationship seems so simple on the surface and yet underneath it all…

Oh fuck.

Emma loves Killian so damn much, more than anything as he would say, but being together has never been simple. It’s always been a series of guesses and choices and an underlying hope that things would work out. She allowed herself to have that hope from the beginning, when she barely knew anything about him and when he’d fucked up with her already, and she should allow herself to have that same faith now that she genuinely knows so much of what makes up the ever-evolving person who is Killian Jones.

Tomorrow. She’ll talk to him tomorrow. Her stomach is still in too many knots for her to even think about seeing his face today and seeing the smile that always makes everything inside of her feel like it is floating on cloud nine.

Tomorrow. It has to be tomorrow because then she’s got to leave for Boston and Detroit, and she’s not waiting a week.

And she almost desperately needs to know how he’s doing. He’s got to be hurting, and she knows that she added to that.

“Can we go get those donuts now, Rubes?”

“Absolutely.”

The walk home seems swifter than the walk there, and it’s likely because Emma isn’t weighed down by the heaviness of a lot of things that are on her heart. Or maybe it’s because she does have donuts to look forward to. Today is going to be her last day of self-indulgence where she allows herself to mope and eat like all of the junk food in the world is going to disappear tomorrow. Because tomorrow she’s going to start eating actually balanced meals with things like vitamins and nutrients – most of the time – and she’ll hopefully stop feeling so sorry for herself.

That’s a bit of a gamble.

Ruby still makes a point of distracting her for the afternoon, obviously sensing that Emma is two seconds away from running away to her room and never emerging again, and while she contemplates that a few times throughout the day, especially when Graham comes home and kisses Ruby hello, she doesn’t.

In fact, she’s the last one awake and the only one to stay out in the living room. The only light that’s on comes from the TV, a tennis match still going on late in the night, and maybe it’s the lack of sleep she’s gotten or maybe it’s that feeling that happens when you’re alone at night and your mind starts playing tricks on you, but something gives her the courage to pull out her phone and text the person she’s been thinking about all day.

Emma: How’s your arm?

The bubble pops up immediately.

Killian: It hurts, mostly in the mornings, but not too bad. Lots of Ibuprofen and ice.

Emma: That’s good.

Emma: Not that it hurts. That it’s not too bad.

Killian: Yeah, I’m glad it’s not as bad as it has been.

Her heart may actually break a bit more at the thought of him being hurt all of this time. She’s been so mad at him, so frustrated with him for not sharing it with her, and she’s barely had any time to think about all of the pain that he’s been going through. Shitty move on her part.

It’s one thing to get injured and still be able to go about your daily life. It’s another when your livelihood depends on your body.

Killian: You should still use the tickets tomorrow. Take Ruby or David. I can get you an upgrade to sit closer since I’m not going with you now.

I don’t want to use them with anyone but you, she types, a little pathetically.

She doesn’t actually send that message. She can’t muster up the courage no matter how much truth is in the statement. Wine or whiskey or, hell, tequila are really tempting at this point to make herself feel a little less – upset, conflicted, hopeful even. But drowning sorrows in alcohol is no way to solve a problem, even if she’s done it before. It’ll only make her feel worse.

Emma: Can we talk tomorrow?

That text is riskier, means more, and is far scarier, and yet it’s the one she sends.

Killian: I’d like that.

Emma: Me too.

#catch me if you can #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan

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