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#tv producers were like they’re having it rough out there let’s give them their comfort shows back in some capacity
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Between the Wiggles making a guest appearance at a rap concert and the Blues Clues Movie, the early 2000s preschool fandom is THRIVING and I’m LIVING FOR IT
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jostepherjoestar · 3 years
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Drawing inspiration to this request —> [Hi dear 🖤 La Squadra's reaction to their fem reader's rough and low voice. She is a La Squadra member] May I please request what would La Squadra's reaction be to a member that never speaks who finally speaks for the first time and she has the sweetest and cutest voice ever despite looking very intimidating and cold? Turns out, she's a total shy sweetheart that just looks cold and intimidating since she's part of la squadra
Quiet and intimidating La Squadra member who actually has the cutest voice (fem reader)
Before we start, I’ve reached 100 followers!!! Thank you all so much, I wanna squish all of ur lovely faces!!! Now onto the fun stuff! Made these a bit longer in celebration :))) they’re more like little scenarios
Risotto
Risotto liked the fact that you were more quiet than the rest of his team. It’s not that he hates the noise, it’s just a nice change to have someone who rarely even speaks... now that he thinks of it you’ve actually never spoken around them. He liked that the two of you had the same aura surrounding you, intimidating and perhaps a bit cold.
He’d grown curious to what your voice may sound like, his ears like that of an alert cat whenever he heard an unfamiliar voice around him. Always disappointed to see that it wasn’t you.
What he didn’t know is that you were just horribly shy and never thought you had anything useful to add to the wild conversations. (your own thoughts were wrong ofc)
When you finally spoke for the first time it was to ask about details of a mission, Risotto and you were going on a mission together, alone, for the first time and he hadn’t provided that much details. Which unbeknownst to you was his plan all along. He can be a sly bastard.
You quietly asked him what the plan was after you got his attention when stepping into his office. He couldn’t believe his own ears when he heard the sweetest little voice coming from you. Of course he asked you to repeat yourself and when you did, louder than before, he had to try his hardest to cover up the massive smile growing on his lips.
On the mission itself, you talked more and more to him, warming up to conversation. Risotto felt his heart skip a beat every time you did. He never knew how much he’d appreciate such a cute one like you. 
Formaggio
Formaggio had been trying his hardest to make you talk or even produce any sound at all. Telling joke after joke, calling your name out in the middle of a different conversation so you’d perhaps even just say “Yes, what?”. He’d even tried scaring you, using his stand to shrink himself and hiding behind the coffee machine.
Of course his prank didn’t work, you almost threw him in the trash with an unamused look. But whenever Formaggio truly did his best you walked away from him with a cold look. When you were in a different room you’d silently laugh or let out a big sigh, if only he knew how shy you were and that you’d love to talk to him, but it was yourself stopping you from it.
He liked you, he knew that, you knew that. But when it came to your opinion on him, he actually wasn’t so sure and it gnawed at him. He’d grown a bit insecure, to calm his own thoughts he decided he’d ask you tonight.
He came into your room with a quiet knock while he opened the door, seeing you at your little desk reading a book. Greeting you, he sounded a bit off which worried you, you doing your best to stay stoic. “Do you like me? You know, as a person? Cause I get the feeling you don’t.” the question visibly surprised you. You put down the book and walked over to him, he wasn’t sure what you were planning by the sweat starting to form on his forehead. “Of course I like you Formaggio.” you said in earnest, holding the side of his arm.
That’s it, the man is now a mere puddle on the floor. Your soft, sweet voice mixed with the utter shock has made him melt. He excused himself with a smile and ran out of your room yelling in the hallway that you liked him. He wanted all of Italy to know.
Illuso
Illuso had been intrigued by your cold and quiet nature. Every chance he got he studied your behaviour, trying to figure you out. He didn’t really find out much, only being able to study your habits. In his mirror world he tried his best to observe you, trying to even include a few new extra mirrors in your room.
But after finding weird new mirrors you’d grown suspicious of him and threw them all out. Your room would be a mirror free zone to Illuso’s chagrin. You didn’t dislike him, it was just that his sneaking and investigating bothered you. At least the others made an attempt to talk to you.
He grew tired of waiting, frustrated even that you never talked and he was having a hard time figuring you out. He was good assassin, confident in his own skills. He had to think outside of the box to get you to talk or just catch you doing it.
After much thought he decided on a plan. No plan. He accepted that everything he would concoct would just push you away, a top notch assassin like you knew when they were being played with.
When you woke up today, you felt light and the soft sunshine made you feel positively energised. Everything around you was quiet, no conversations downstairs, no clattering in the kitchen, no showers running. You hummed along to a song while brushing your hair in the bathroom, for a moment feeling completely at ease.
The door was open, not having bothered to close it since no one seemed to be home. But Illuso was. He stood in the doorway, a smile on his face, it finally worked. The soft melodic hums putting him on fluffy pink clouds, wanting the cute voice to soothe him to sleep tonight. Content with what he’d heard, he silently walked away. You knew he was there and honestly relieved that he didn’t approached you, you’d have turned bright red  from embarrassment if he did.
Prosciutto
Prosciutto sighed after realising he’d have another Risotto to look out for. Don’t get him wrong he had great respect and love towards his capo and good friend, but he worried about him. Perhaps too much. So he did what he did to Risotto before. Give you space.
He know’s that pushing you or forcing you to talk would only have the opposite effect. The silent communication you had of nods was enough for now.
The way you were around him made him softer, to his own surprise and chagrin. Of course he cared for his teammates and capo, but don’t let them know all the time and so openly. They’ll get cocky.
It comforted you knowing the space he was giving you, thankful that he hadn’t pushed you. In the beginning you were a little intimidated by him, his stern looks really chilled you to the bone. But his deep voice and (weirdly aggressive) pep talks showed you his more approachable side.
You had tried multiple times to talk to him, you’d built up your courage and were so close to opening your mouth to talk when someone always came and interrupted. Sometimes you even felt a little relieved when they did.
On a quiet afternoon Prosciutto invited you to the empty sitting room, small espresso cups in hand. You felt a little nervous since it was just the two of you, hand shaking a little as you grabbed your cup. The shaking causing you to spill coffee on your knee, the hot liquid burning a red spot on the exposed skin of your leg. You sighed out a ‘Merda!’ as you patted you leg dry.
A sly smile growing on Prosciutto’s face, finally your little facade had cracked a little. You could hear him chuckle in front of you. “Who knew such a sweet voice could produce such nasty words.”
Pesci
This man was quite intimidated by you and your cold exterior. It made you laugh in private since you were shy and sweet just like Pesci. Because you could see your reflection in him, you hung out around him a lot. Just silently watching tv together, sitting next to him at meetings, cooly handing him your leftovers at dinner when he still had room left for more.
It made Pesci blush, your sweet gestures not matching the cold expressions. But on the inside you felt so comfortable and perhaps a bit jealous that Pesci wasn’t as shy as you and expressed himself so honestly.
But the cold expression and the limited eye contact during you friendly offerings were not because you didn’t like him, it was because if your eyes met you’d also be blushing at the sweet man in front of you.
Still, after all your silent offerings he was not assured to approach you by himself. He was cautious and also didn’t want to push you out of your comfort if you didn’t feel like talking. He’d create awkward silences that didn’t even need to be uncomfortable, he just couldn’t help himself.
Whenever there was time, between the jobs that offered enough physical training, you’d all train together. On one of these days, everyone was working hard, sparring, lifting and running to built up stamina. You were done with your exercises, muscles tired, body sweaty but feeling the rush of the after workout bliss. Pesci was on his last set of arm lifts when you walked over.
His arms were shaking and it looked like he was on his last straw. The bar resting on his chest as he took deep breaths. You stood behind him, signalling you’d spot him for safety. His strong arms shaking under the weights, struggling to do the last lift. “Come on Pesci, I know you can do it.” Your sweet encouragement was loud enough for him to hear but not so loud that the others noticed.
With one last grunt he pushed up the weights, an excited sound ringing out loudly as he puts the weights back on the rests. His face seemed red from the strain but the goofy smile betrayed him, it was you that did that to him.
Melone
Oh little melon man figured you out so fast. He was of course polite and friendly to you, always the gentleman (you’d be surprised at how nice and considerate he could be) but behind all this he was waiting patiently.
He knew as soon as he noticed your cold facade and silent nature that you were hiding a sweetness behind it. But he was excruciatingly patient, to a degree that he didn’t even care anymore about hearing your voice or seeing you smile for once. Just the excitement of waiting for you to crack is what invigorated him.  
His behaviour worried you, you’d known from seeing him interact with the others what he was like and it was blatantly obvious that he treated you different. He left you alone, didn’t push of prod, didn’t joke around to extract a reaction.
You were already shy but the way he was acting made you even more nervous. Maybe perhaps a little angry since you knew the game he was playing and you felt yourself losing. The way he acted actually making you want to talk to him, wanting him to give you the attention he gave to others so teasingly.
You decided you were going to play along, while also working against him. At least trying to reverse the effect of his game. You’d dress a little more provocatively, bending and pushing your best assets forwards whenever he was near, knowing that was an easy way to get his attention.
You weren’t even sure you wanted him in that way, pining over your body. But you had to play dirty if that’s the way he did things. But nothing worked, every attempt failed. He didn’t budge, his sly smiles only lasting longer, he knew he was winning.
Melone was sitting comfortably on his legs on the couch, he looked lost in thought when you approached. You made sure no one was around. Defeated and not even sure why you were even going to reward him. “You win, Melone.” You plopped down next to him with a deep sigh. Your sweet voice like heavenly harps at the gates of heaven to Melone’s ears. “Well played, kitten. You almost got me, maybe if you kept going you’d have actually won.” he purred while winking. Oh you could kill him right now...maybe you will. Just a little.
Ghiaccio
Ghiaccio didn’t mind your quietness at all. But he made you nervous and, afraid to set him off if you did something wrong or looked at him the wrong way. He’d notice your shoulders tense up every time he yelled, he wasn’t yelling at you though, probably at Melone.
It got him a little fired up that he made you tense, perhaps more at himself since never actually wants to be mad, it just happens. He’s been avoiding you for a while now.
You’d noticed him acting cold to you and avoiding even the slightest contact between each other. It made you wonder if it was your fault. If only there was a way to help this problem out of the way. Oh wait there is, it’s called communication. But you just couldn’t do it, not yet.
Both too stubborn or scared of talking to each other, it continued. Your teammates also noticing the air in the room get colder once Ghiaccio and you entered. Risotto and Prosciutto weren’t really sure what to do, no idea what the actual problem was, and you weren’t talking. Ghiaccio wasn’t either.
The idea sprung to Prosciutto to get you in the same room together and not let you out until you’d talked about it. And as dumb as it sounds, his plan proceeded, Ghiaccio was already in Risotto’s office, the capo also part of the plan. Luring you in was easy enough, since you didn’t know that Ghiaccio was in there already.
By god they ‘Parent Trapped’ you. You sat in the chair next to Ghiaccio who had slowly begun calming down. His tirade of insults at the closed door had already come and gone. It felt like an hour had passed, it actually did, before he began talking. “Why do you get so tense around me? I know I get angry but it’s rightfully so. There’s just so many stupid people. I’d never actually hurt you or the others. Not that much...” he sighed, finally saying what’s been on his mind.
“You’ve talked to everyone but me. Am I that horrible?” he sounded so sad when he talked, almost a whisper. You couldn’t handle your own silence anymore. “You’re not horrible, I- I just don’t know how to-.” you couldn’t string the right words together but Ghiaccio understood. Your sweet voice softening the emotions. The two of you actually hugged it out, but you’d never let Risotto or Prosciutto get the satisfaction of knowing that.
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llogllady99 · 3 years
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Crimson Red: Prologue
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CHARACTERS | Levi, Erwin, Petra, Hange, Moblit, Mike, Nanaba, Eld, Oluo, Gunther, Kenny, Erwin’s Father, Kuchel, Frieda Reiss, Nile Dok, Yelena, Marie
RELATIONSHIPS | Levi x Erwin
GENRE | Mystery, Thriller, Romance, Dark Academia
IV | Blood and gore, Blood and violence, Alternate universe - modern setting/high school/ boarding school, angst and fluff and smut, knife kink, knife play, drama & romance, eventual romance, eventual smut, emotional manipulation, cults, rituals
SUMMARY | Sina Academy of Excellence and Inquiry is the best boarding school in all of England, producing over time leaders of Nations and outstanding personalities in society as well as being the perfect environment for your child to flourish in, spending his time with specially trained staff to support his need and wonderful, well behaved peers like him. We only have two rules: don't go in the woods and do not try to go through locked doors.
From the statement above one would have assumed that Sina was the perfect school and that the rules that were imposed were just for their children's safety, but as Levi joins the school at the beginning of his senior year, he uncovers a secret so putrid and morbid that will leave him scared for life. That is...if he manages to make it out alive.
Chapter song: God rest ye merry gentleman - Pentatonix (slowed & reverb)
December 21st, 1995 Yule Festival
If you asked Erwin Smith what his plans were for the celebration of Yule, as he always remained on campus over the holidays, he would have told you that he were to be found cozying up on the lilac couch by the fire, basking in the heat emanated by the hearth, and enjoying one of those contemporary novels meant for mass consumption and reading the evening away in the dorms of the Boethiah house. Later, if he felt up to it, he would trek happily across the dark vaulted corridors of the academy to the bathing rooms and relax into one of the immense thermae alone, sans the forever present havoc caused by the agglomeration of teenage boys during early school mornings. What he would not have answered was: his girlfriend was to be killed tonight by no one other than him. Sweet Marie will meet her end tonight, scarlet and thick blood gushing out of her freshly sliced neck.
Flicking his wrist, slightly pulling back his navy blue Tudor coat, Erwin checked the time. It was 22:59. If he were to meet Marie in the next minute, then he wouldn’t have to worry about getting to the crypts on time, but he could always improvise - the campus being almost abandoned at this time of night with no students lurking around - and kill Marie right in their meeting spot, in front of all the security cameras and the dining hall’s high arched and trellised windows slowly breaking each of her limbs, while the poor creature tries to crawl herself out of the situation, blood curling screams sounding into the night, while finally being abruptly cut off by Erwin twisting her neck. But no, he had to be careful, his father would take care of the security cameras but if there would have been prying ears and eyes in the dining hall, then he wouldn’t have gotten away so easily. It was a dark, dull, and soundless night with clouds hanging so oppressively low in the sky, they produced thick white fog that snaked its way between the alleyways and immense gothic buildings. One street lamp was the only thing that lighted the small plaza in front of the four adjacent dorm rooms, its golden light resting on Erwin’s figure, revealing the soft blonde hair, determined and ruthless sapphire eyes, strong jawline, and tall, well built body. He was dressed casually, wearing his most comfortable clothes: jeans and a plain white t-shirt. He was supposed to be spending the evening with Marie up in his dorm room, enjoying some cheesy and petty romcom broadcasted on the TV, and more formal wear would disrupt the cozy atmosphere that would supposedly settle between them, that and blood would be a bitch to get out of them.
Huffing in frustration, Erwin checked the time again: 23:05. If Marie didn’t show up then it would have all been for nothing. However, just as he was making up his mind to go after her, the girl exited her dorm room and with a wide grin, spreading from cheek to cheek on her sweet face, ran into Erwin’s arms. He snorted and greeted her.
“Hello sweet lover, I was beginning to worry you wouldn’t show up tonight.”
“I’m terribly sorry, dear Erwin, but I might have had a change of mind regarding the outfit I was to wear tonight.” Marie chuckled as she let him go, settling back down on her feet. In the golden light, the girl was beautiful, her long blonde hair sitting comfortably on her dainty shoulders, her eyes shining almost green as blue mixed with yellow from the light, her cheekbones were high, just like his, and her lips rosy red. Erwin almost regretted having to kill her, but it was for the sake of everyone around him. It was his duty as head boy, as a son, and as a student to steal this girl’s life. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her plush like lips and with a smile, grabbed her hand and began leading her into the direction of his dorm. His dorm was a just across the plaza in front of her own building. So with long hurried steps across the grass, they reached the entrance. All of the buildings were linked together in a square.
“Where’s the rush Erwin? Are you really so excited by our casual night in?” Chuckled Marie and hurried her pace to match his.
“Certainly,” answered Erwin, not even paying attention to her.
“The hallways are unusually quiet, so is the campus. Don’t you think it’s strange dear, that not even the staff seem to be present?” Continued Marie.
“Well, it’s almost Christmas, it suppose it would be kind of sad if they were to be hanging around campus instead of enjoying their time with their families. After all, they’re humans, just like me and you.” Erwin tried to answer her question, growing more annoyed by the second.
Finally they reached his room, and like the gentleman he was opened the door for his girlfriend, letting her in. It was the first time that Marie entered his room, so with a bit of excitement the girl started wandering through it, stopping to admire the little trinkets he had placed randomly around his room, like the telescope that was facing his window, or various maps that laid, carefully rolled and tied with black string. Erwin lingered behind the door and scanned his room looking for his weapon: a wooden baseball bat, scratched, chipped and stained red, that happen to be positioned right in the left corner of the room, closest to the door. He went and picked it up, gently trailing his fingertips over the rough surface. Giving it a few experimental swings, he called out to Marie as he was slowly approaching her.
“Like what you see, Marie?”
“Indeed, you have a lot of interesting things lying around here, but I can’t help but wonder if you would be so kind as to turn on the light.” She chuckled and slightly bent down to examine the telescope.
“It’s not necessary for what’s to come.” Erwin replied, and with a smile approached the girl in hurried steps, building momentum.
“Erwin?” Marie slowly tried to turn around as she was startled by his reply. “What’s that supposed to me-“ She tried asking, but before she could finish her sentence, the bat collided with her skull, breaking it to a million pieces. With a loud thud, the cadaver collapsed to the floor. Erwin sighed, it required so much work to kill somebody: drawing the victim in, killing it, carrying the body, and getting rid of it. He would have to talk with his father about getting a payment or some kind of reward out of it.
Rubbing away some of his sweat from his forehead, Erwin bent down and grabbed the body, throwing it over his shoulder, wincing slightly as the weight collapsed onto him. Satisfied, Erwin made his way out of the dorm room and into the darkness of the hallway, his whistling the only thing perturbing the eerie silence that settled over the school as if in mourning of their newly lost peer.
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Twilight enveloped the academy. Combinations of blue, lavender, and light pink reflected off the Chapel’s pointed arches, ribbed vaults, and sipping in through the stained glass windows that adjourned each side of the building as Erwin made his way out and down the vibrant green lawn,  his footsteps levelling the grass where he stepped and the lifeless cadaver still slumped over his shoulder. It had served his purpose and it was now time to get rid of it. Quickening his pace, he headed to the woods right behind the Chapel. This was his least favourite part of his job. The forest was dense and light could barely pass through the crowns and branches of the trees. Nevertheless, the trees were lanky, twisted in unnatural ways with branches sharp like knives. The bark was a dark brown, with a coarse texture, which could scratch and cut if the individual touching it was not being careful. However, what unnerved Erwin gravely was not only the eerie darkness that seemed to swallow the forest but also the absence of fauna in it. Sighing deeply, he proceeded to walk into the forest.
Erwin could have sworn the greenwood was like a warm hole. Every time he went through it, time seemed to stop, the existence of anything beside the forest seemed to be erased, leaving him wandering through the gloomy sea of trees, desperate for an escape. After what seemed like an eternity, Erwin started to notice the outline of hundreds of newly dug out graves, each with a big pile of freshly turnt earth, especially made so that bodies like this could be dumped in easily and covered just as easily. The sight helped him ease his nerves a little bit. Unconsciously, he quickened his pace. This was the first sign that he was close to the graveyard. He soon found himself at the edge of the forest once more.
Not wasting anymore time, Erwin walked to the edge of the cemetery, at the farthest of graves he hoisted the corpse up and tossed it lackadaisically into its final resting place. With a frustrated sigh, he picked up the spade and started to dump the soil over it. The corpse looked nothing like Marie anymore, her clothes, once spotless and emanating the sweetest of scents, were now covered in blood, and her skin, once a beautiful olive yellow was now waxy white, every drop of blood squeezed out of her right through the wide open wound on her neck. The soil got stuck in her hair, painting the blonde brown, in her eyes, filling the glassy stare with bits of gravel and dirt, slowly covering and erasing every evidence of her existence. With one final flick of spade, Erwin managed to cover up the body completely. Breathing heavily from the exertion, and dumping one crimson red rose on the grave, he opened his mouth and voiced his last words to her.
“Merry Christmas and Happy Yule, may you rest in peace, Marie.”
Notes:
I do not own Attack on titan or any of the characters in the show or related to it!!
I really hoped you like it, if you did please stick around as there will be more where that came from!
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imveryunstable · 3 years
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Sick (KiriBaku x Reader) [BNHA smut]
Warning: Smut and disgusting! Still, tell me if you do get turned on by it :P Also, kidnapping and non consensual sex are never okay! (also help me with tags idk how-)
Reminder: Please remember that our lovely boys, Kacchan and Kiri will never do such thing, obviously! They are heroes and what I wrote is just a pure filth of what I sometimes imagine these boys should do to me! rofl i love them a lot, sorry to ruin yall like this lol killme
Pairings: Kirishima Eijirou x Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
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You meant to be kind. You promise, you were just trying to be nice! But how did the act of your kindness turns against you? Isn't it supposed to be what people always say? be kind to others so others will be kind to you?
How the hell that quote can become the opposite? You're tied up, blindfolded, gagged and of fucking course, naked. It's good to feel nothing on your skin once in a while, but not when it's forced. and obviously, not when you know you're naked in front of a hero!
"A-are you okay?! I'm sorry that I had to be so weak and troubled you..." You say softly, as you gently hold out your head to the Sturdy Hero, Red Riot, or as far as you know, Kirishima Eijirou. It's like he got stunned for a second, before smiling widely at you. He takes your hand and you try to pull him up along with him pushing himself up but something's strange, he's holding your hand way too tight. Is he in so much pain? You feel so bad and let him hold you longer.
"Thanks for your concern, but it's my job to get into trouble for the sake of your safety! Are you okay? It must've been scary for you." Eijirou replies to your words as soft as he can, looking straight into your eyes. Somehow, you feel touched, to be cared for like this...  
"A little... but thanks to you, I never felt so safe!"
Oh, how selfish you were when you said those words. You've never felt unsafe like this before. You're choking on your tears, as you know you're in bed, legs spread open just for the hero. This is the best way a citizen can repay the heroes, yeah?
He's quiet for some reasons, you can only hear his breathing, which is really wild. It's weird how he's not touching you and it's sickening for the fact you have been in the same position for an hour.
You want to say something but the gag is stopping you, only muffled screams can be heard. What does he want honestly? If he wants to fuck you, might as just do it as fast as he can! This is too disgusting for you to hold on any longer.
Suddenly, you hear a door being slammed open and harsh steps louder by each second. Another person came in? Is it a hero too? Is he going to save you?
"Bakugou! What took you so long? I tried to hold myself from pounding her and I swear if I waited a minute longer-"
"Are you kidding me shitty hair?! You think I have so much time to spend just to deal with you?!"
Bakugou? Isn't he one of the pro heroes too? The one who explodes-
"Oh God please Bakugou! Just take a look at her! She's so nice and so pretty... You want to wreck her too, I bet!"
Sick. He's sick. Everything about him is sick! Wreck you? IN what way? You swear, whatever he does, he'll never wreck you. You'll never get wrecked by such a person!
"You promised me you'll let me choose our toy this time. You fucking did." You listen to Bakugou's deep low voice, which makes you quiver even more after you understand what he just said.
Toy? What does he mean by toy? You? Are they talking about you? You're going to be their toy? Choose our toy? They've done this before, to other people?
Sick, sick, sick! This is too sickening for you, plus the fear you've been feeling ever since you woke up like this makes you want to throw up.
"Bakugou, trust me on this one. Give me one last chance bro! Be manly and try this one out first!" Eijirou tries to convince his partner in crime again and oh how you've been praying for Bakugou to say no. Please, please, please-
"Fine, fine, fine! You're so fucking annoying sometimes..." You tear up even more when you heard those words, knowing there's no way you can get out of this.
"Thanks bro... If she becomes too boring for you, I promise this time, you'll choose." Eijirou says in such a comforting voice and as soothing as it is to others, you feel like his voice going to kill you.
"Whatever. Anyway, how long she's been like this? Bet her pussy is getting dry by now with the way you spread her." You suddenly feel a touch on your feminine place making you shiver as you try to shake your head, pulling away from his touch. But the ropes on your legs are way too tight, there's no way you can pull your legs out of it without ripping off your legs.
"I don't know, an hour? I was too mesmerized by her beauty, lose track of time." The fucking red-haired man replies making your stomach feels twisted. The amount of tears you are producing right now can honestly fill up a bucket to the point you feel like you're about to let out blood come out from your eyes.
You then feel the rough fingers on your clit, as they gently rub it. As much as you hate this, there's no way you can deny the hormones rising up and how good it feels to be touched this way. "Damn, she gets wet so quick though. Oi Kirishima, pull out the gag. I want to hear her fucking screams." Is that what he likes? Isn't he supposed to save people who are screaming, stopping them from screaming? He's a hero, for fuck sake!
You can hear steps getting closer to you, and it's none other than Eijirou, right? Your instinct tells you to run away, but it's impossible to follow it.
His breaths then tickle your ear and he gives a soft kiss on your ear.
"Poor angel, she looks so worn out and scared. It's so unmanly for me to gag you like this... but it's all because I don't want your throat to get hurt. I only want you to be safe, someone as nice and pure as you... someone who cares for a hero like you... someone who feels they are weak must always be protected, right?"
You finally find the proof of your answer. The reason he kidnapped you is definitely only because you're being nice. Is he too fucking sick to the point no one ever cared about him before?
Also, isn't it normal for people that get saved to thank their heroes? Why is he taking this too far?
Eijirou gently pulls the gag out of your mouth and you try to take a deep breath using your mouth. He then pulls away the blindfold, giving your eyes the sight of the place along with his blushed face. It's disgusting and you're ready to scream at him, but apparently, he sees through you since he decides to give you the most loving sickening kiss. The gag is better, way better.
Bakugou huffs, before continuing rubbing your clit and you feel a finger going inside you. "Fuck, she's so tight. Is she a virgin?" You don't know if that question is directed to Eijirou, or just him asking himself, but yes, you're a damn virgin!
"R-really? Lucky us, then?" Eijirou replies right after he pulls away from the kiss and you spit at him immediately even though it doesn’t even reach his face.  
"She's feisty, Bakugou. Totally your type, no?" Eijirou pays attention back to you and you see him smirking, as he gently unzips his pants, revealing a painful looking cock. "You can spit all you want on here, angel." He says with a smile, that damn hero smile he always shows on tv which never fails to make people feel safe...
"Y-you sick! Let me go-" Before you even finish your words, he pushes every inch into your mouth, his cock hitting your throat. It hurts so bad, but somehow the fingers going in and out of you down there covering up the pain.
"Fuck this, I'm fucking you now." Bakugou says, and you try to look at him but Eijirou harsh grasps on your hair, pulling your face to the left to suck his whole banana failing your attempt. "Look at me when I'm fucking your throat, angel. I need to see your mouth filled up with me." You want to bite down his cock, but he's moving way too fast for you to even do anything.
As you're focused on Eijirou's rough deep throating, you suddenly feel a sharp pain inside you, signaling Bakugou has officially entered you. You can feel his cock a bit bigger than the one in your mouth, but none of that is pleasuring you! Or so you keep trying to think...
"Shit dude, she's so fucking tight... C'mon toy, be a good girl and open up a bit!" Bakugou saying all that but he's still moving fast, doesn't he get the sign that you're a virgin? It hurts so much and your body feels like giving out soon. To take two big weewee at the same time is ruining your body along with your insanity.
This is wrong, what they're doing is wrong and you're wrong.
Definitely, you're going to get wrecked, not only by one man but two.
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ruthoakenshield · 4 years
Text
Very Good Friends (Chapter 8)
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Catch up here: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]
Reader x Henry Cavill, Reader x co-star named Dan
Warning: This tale is for 18+ readers ONLY!!!  Mentions of flashbacks: (rape, anal sex, non-con sex, abuse), severe  bruising and injury, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression,  humiliation, and some fluff to make us feel better. Smut comes later on  in the story… Several chapters down the road… I promise!!!
If ANY  of the warnings upset you or make you uncomfortable, DO NOT read below  the cut! go find something else to read in this case.
If you are okay with reading those things then enjoy the tale below the cut.
Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. I do not own Henry nor do I have any  personal knowledge of him besides what is common knowledge amongst the  Cavillary. Any mistakes and typos are mine, story is not beta-tested.  GIF I got from the tumbler search thingy.
Sunday morning arrives and it is cloudy and raining. Henry lays on the bed, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the trailer as you sleep, head still on his Pec. Arms wrapped around his broad chest and fingers holding his shirt. your body still wrapped in the comforter burrito. Neither of you shifted positions as you slept, and he still has his cheek resting against your head. The scent of peppermint still comforting his thoughts. He smiles realizing you seemed to sleep through the night with no nightmares this time. He hopes you finally got some much needed rest.
He thinks about the things the counselor said yesterday and he wonders if the self-defense class would help you like it did the other women. It certainly couldn’t hurt. He thought it might help you if he took the class as well. Then you both could spar together. He decided he’d talk to you about it when you woke up.
He wondered if you would like to try drawing or painting or creative writing to help you sort things out in your pretty little head of yours. He decided to ask you about it as well.
It was the beginning of August and it was chilly now in the mornings and evenings. He hadn’t turned on the furnace in the trailer yet. Though you were in your comforter burrito, he was for the most part uncovered and a little chilly. He made a mental note to have maintenance check the furnace and turn it on for him.
Henry hears his phone chirp, and he glances over to the nightstand where it sat. He reaches over and frowns when he sees it’s his publicist. He grabs his phone and unlocks it to see the message from his publicist: “Henry, FYI: Someone leaked what happened to the paparazzi, but are playing Dan as the victim. They’re having a heyday. Try to keep y/n off of social media and away from tv. Her publicist and I are teaming up with the studio’s trying to do damage control. Be careful who you talk with and share info with till we find out who the leaker is.” It read.
He quickly replies to her: “The only people we’ve talked to about any of this is the hospital staff, the police, the executive of the studio and the counselor besides my agent, you, y/n’s agent and her publicist, and my PA. I don’t know if y/n talked with her PA at all. What all is being said about y/n?” Henry asks.
She replies: “They’re saying she is falsely accusing him and that she forced him, and wanted it rough and that she was mad at him for rejecting her repeated attempts to get him to date her. She’s being labeled as a whore, who is trying to ruin his career.
Sounds to us like it’s his agent trying to set her up to take the blame so Dan can get off scott free since she is new to the business. They seem to think she can be used as the scapegoat.
There’s several of your castmates who have already posted to social media defending y/n and saying that Dan was the one harassing her and not taking no for an answer and that HE was the one wanting to date her and she refused him repeatedly. They also stated that she didn’t show up for his going away party and was the only one to do so. (Though they don’t know her reason for not showing up – no one has been told of her injuries yet except the studio heads, the director and the producers.)
The studio is trying to figure out if they can salvage the film now or if they are going to have to scrap it now that Dan’s fucked it up with this PR stunt. There’s talk of going after him for damages if the film flops or if they have to scrap it or delay it and have his role recast and refilm all his scenes.” His publicist texts him.
Henry groans, making you stir. He caresses your head, and you fall back asleep. Henry rubs his face, his brows knitted, and his forehead creased with worry.
“Ugh!!! Ok. What do you want me to do? She’s staying in my trailer and is REALLY struggling to come to terms with all this. She’s been having nightmares and last night was the first night she didn’t have them and slept soundly (on my chest).” Henry messages back.
“I’ll ask the director. I think we need to let the cast see y/n and talk to her; or show them the photos of the injures she sustained and explain to them their extent, so they know just how badly she’s been hurt. I have the photos from the PD in case we needed to have evidence shared of her injuries. I’ve edited them so her face isn’t showing, and her privates are covered. The arm, thigh and torso bruising and the obvious hand bruises on her neck should be sufficient to convince them.
Everyone was wondering why her trailer was being searched by the PD and why it was removed, then Dan pulls this PR stunt and eveyone’s asking me and her PR what’s going on. All we told them was that Dan attacked y/n and raped her the night before the party. But they don’t know how badly she was hurt.
The doctor I spoke with who treated her said she had serious lesions both in her ass and her vagina and throat from what Dan did to her, and that they had bled heavily from the sex. He suspected that Dan had some kind of ribbed sleeve or harness with stiff ribs or nubs on it that was scraping her as he had his way with her that caused the lesions. He said they are meant to be used with lube and there was no lube in her at all in neither of her holes nor her throat. He said it would’ve been incredibly painful and exposed her to a high risk for infection and STD’s if he had any.
The police found an empty box of condoms in her bedroom garbage. It contained 36 originally, when they searched the bedroom garbage and the bathroom one, they came up with all 36 of them and most of them had her blood and his semen in/on them. They also found dildos in varying sizes, some insanely bizarre, in Dan’s possession with her DNA on them  buy only his hand / finger prints when they arrested him at his trailer. Judging by the security cameras’ he was in her trailer almost 12 hours.” She informs Henry.
He lays there in shock, he rubs his face and looks down at you. His face red with anger realizing you most likely endured at least 7 hours of this kind of torture. He cups your head with his hand and kisses your forehead. Wishing he had only known Dan’s intent and could’ve stopped it.
“Oh God! She said they watched one movie and she had put in the second one. Then she doesn’t remember what happened after that other than waking up twice to Dan fucking her. So, he was there at least two hours before he began to assault her sexually! God only knows how long it lasted and if he slept at all or raped her the entire time!” Henry replies. “I can’t imagine what she went through! No wonder she is emotionally shutting down and trying to just retreat inward! No wonder why she’s hurting physically SO bad!” he adds.
Henry caresses your head and back, he sighs. Not sure what to do now or how to help you. He just wants to cry knowing now, what you most likely endured. It was worse than anyone could’ve imagined. He hopes the cops throw the book at his idiot co-star. It just makes him sick what Dan did.
He snaps a photo of you asleep on his chest with his hand on your back, keeping his face out of the photo. Posting it to his Instagram page, he writes. “I am thinking of and praying for this wonderful, talented, incredibly kind, patient and amazing woman. You’ve endured more horrors than I could possibly imagine! I’m glad to know you and my support, thoughts and prayers are with you, Kitten, during this rough patch. You’ll get through it and shine all the brighter in the end. Keep your chin up our brave sweetheart, rest when you can, and don’t give up! We got your back!”
He sighs again and locks his screen. Setting it face down, he looks down at you and shakes his head in both amazement of what all you’ve endured, and sadness because he was not there to protect you and stop it. His heart aches for you. He closes his eyes and just holds you trying to be as supportive as he can.
About an hour later, he gets a group text from the director, producers and executive of the studio. “Please come to a meeting at the studio office today at 2pm to discuss current events and future plans for the film. Henry, bring y/n with you.”
Henry visibly cringes at the message. It either means they’re scrapping it, or they’re going forward and have some serious plans hoping to make this film work.
Henry carefully turns the two of you onto your sides, with you against the pillows you had propped there behind you when you climbed in next to him. He gently peels your arms off his shirt and he carefully slips himself out from beside you, propping you with more pillows to keep you hopefully asleep and comfortable for a while yet. He suspects his phone is going to blow up now and doesn’t want to disturb you.
Henry turns the ringer off, so it just vibrates and keeps it in his pants pocket as he gets up and heads for the bathroom. He does his thing and gets freshened up and goes into his room and changes clothes. About a half hour later, he starts getting messages from the other costars asking what’s going on. He sighs and does a conference call with them all while he is in the guest bathroom on the opposite end of the trailer, trimming his beard stubble, so you weren’t bothered.
He tells them he can’t say much about what’s going on until the meeting. He explains you’re staying with him in his trailer because it is where you currently feel safe and protected, and that you are really struggling with what happened to you. He asks them to please be supportive of you and to respect your need to just cope.
They ask if what Dan is claiming is true and Henry tells them no, it is quite the opposite. “Just be careful who you talk to about this. There’s a leaker somewhere and we haven’t been able to find out who it is. When we get to the meeting you all will be filled in with exactly what happened and how bad it really is. Until then, don’t comment to anyone about any of this.”
They ask if he has any idea if the film will continue or be scrapped. “I have no idea. My agent said they were trying to figure out what to do, there was talk of scrapping it if there’s no way to save it, depending on the public outcry; they talked about replacing Dan with a different actor and re-filming all the scenes he was in, and there was talk of going after Dan for damages depending on what is decided. I have no idea what option they chose or if they came up with other options. “It’s a PR nightmare thanks to Dan deciding to be an asshole.” Henry tells them.
“How is y/n doing, Henry? I mean really.” One co-star asks. Henry sighs, “She’s struggling big time. I am too. She is hurting immensely, both physically and emotionally. She’s been having nightmares and struggling to get restful sleep because of what Dan did to her. It just makes me sick to know what he did and be powerless to really help besides holding her and letting her cry and trying to be supportive and encouraging. You’ll understand when you see her. I hope they throw the book at Dan for what he did. He’s a monster as far as I’m concerned. No woman should have to go through what he did to her!” Henry growls, trying to keep quiet and not wake you up.
They are all quiet. “Henry, would you mind if we left her some encouragement outside your trailer? We don’t want to disturb her or anything, just want to let her know we’re thinking about her and support her in this and that we’re here for her. Whatever she needs.” They ask.
“That’s fine, guys. I’m sure she’ll appreciate any support we can give her. This isn’t going to be a fast recovery by any means.” He tells them.
“She’s such a great gal, Hen, I’m so sorry to hear Dan hurt her so badly. She was such a little ray of sunshine on set, always smiling and bubbly.” One costar comments. There’s murmuring of agreement amongst the co-stars. “Yeah, we all saw how Dan would treat her on set. I regret not reporting him now.” another costar says. Others murmur similar regret. “Well if you hear noise outside the trailer, don’t be alarmed, it’s just us. Okay, Hen?” they tell him. “Okay guys. We’ll see you around 2pm.” He tells them and hangs up.
More chapters to come...
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oyesmendes · 4 years
Text
wildflower pt4 - calum hood
a/n: this is just gonna be snippets of their lives from now on. hopefully u like karla and calum as much as i do!
summary: after a nasty breakup, Karla Rivera finds herself working as one of the new producers/songwriter for 5SOS. She had no intention to fall in love right now, but one conversation struck a chord with her. In between producing a smashing album and writing hit singles, Karla finds herself entangled in the arms of a man who she never thought she’d end up with.
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He stands in front of a white door, almost similar to the one at the beach house. He’s biting his bottom lip, feet bouncing as he waits in front of the door with a bouquet of dahlias - her favourite flowers, in his hand. He hears her boots hit the ground as she rushes to the door, having gotten home a few minutes before he arrived. The door swings open and hits the wall with all the excitement flowing through her and they both grin - so wide that they physically feel their cheeks hurt. Karla is in his arms before he could even comprehend and she was pulling him into her apartment by the neck. They kiss, deep and loving, sparks flying across the room. Calum doesn’t even remember the bouquet of flowers that he was holding, now pressed to her back as he holds her tight in his arms.
“I fucking missed you.”
“I fucking missed you too.” He peels her away from him, finally handing the flowers to her. She takes a whiff and then leaves it on the counter before smothering him in kisses. He basks in the attention, feeling every inch of her body mould in to his - like two perfect puzzle pieces. He then remembers the song he had waited the entire week to play to her, wanting nothing more than to see her reaction in person. He pushes her off suddenly and she’s taken aback, almost hitting her hip against the counter.
“Oh I have something to play for you!” Calum says almost too excitedly. Karla opens two beer bottles as he sets himself on the kitchen counter, pressing play on his phone.
She hears the intro with the beautiful harmony and her ears perk up, she raises her brow at Calum who had the proudest look on his face.
I hear you callin' out my name
I love the sound, I love the taste
And I can see it in your face
You've got a side you can't explain
Karla grins when she hears his voice, bopping along to the 80s style music. When they get to the chorus her face turns a bright shade of pink, knowing what the exact words mean. Sure Calum insists it was up for interpretation but anyone could tell it was about her.
“So I’m your wildflower huh?”
“Was it that obvious?”
“Maybe…” She places herself in between his legs, and when Calum leans down for a kiss, she turns to her cheek just to get him riled up.
“Oh you seriously wanna be a tease, Rivera?”
“Try me, Hood!” Karla abandons her beer and bolts to her room, Calum following closely behind.
They somehow end up on the couch dressed in comfy clothes (Calum borrows her brothers sweats, though it was a little too short but he didn’t mind), with take out boxes strewn all over the table. It reminded them of the first night they met but better, now that they were alone with each other. There’s a romcom playing on TV but the pair couldn’t be bothered, their attention only on each other. He feels so attached to her, like she’s become apart of his life and then he starts to worry. The comfortable silence between them slowly turning uncomfortable as he’s left with his thoughts. He thinks about tour and how he’s going to be apart from her for long periods of time. Then he overthinks their relationship and how she would think of leaving him when things get rough. Calum doesn’t notice his hand dropping from her waist and his brows furrowing. But of course she does, she always has and always will. Karla knows about his habit of getting inside his own head too much, hell it happened twice already and they’ve only been together for less than a month. She’s patient, so patient that the rest of the boys think she’s a god sent when she spends almost two hours on the phone with him the second day she left the beach house, just to assure him that she would stay no matter what.
“You’re in there again.” She says, poking his forehead. It makes his face scrunch up and she giggles softly at him.
“I am” He admits it this time, knowing that she was right. Karla kisses his cheek and runs her fingers along his torso. She remembers how he said her touch brings him back to reality, reminds him that she’s still there. So she makes a deliberate effort to touch him, to have that physical connection. Calum closes his eyes and focuses on the contact of their skin, and he throws those thoughts out of his mind. He pecks the crown of her head and she knows he’s trying.
“Always gonna be here.” She reminds him, and he softly thanks the heavens above for creating a blessing like Karla Rivera.
-
“You nervous, petal?” Calum squeezes Karla’s hand as they make the short walk to Ashton’s place. It was the first time she was meeting the boys since the beach house, and this time with their girlfriends as well. From what Karla knows, the girls have known each other for years and are close as fuck. So to say she was nervous stepping into their group was the biggest understatement of the year. She gives Calum a tight lipped smile and nothing else, but he knows her, the anxiety was written on her forehead.
“The girls will love you, trust me. If the boys like you, I don’t see why their girlfriends wouldn’t.” They arrived at Ashton’s and let themselves through the gates. The rest of the couples had just arrived as well, all mingling with one another. When they notice Calum and Karla, all the boys cheered and clapped, teasing Calum as much as they could. Sierra was the first to approach Karla, offering her a big warm hug.
“You must be Karla!”
“And you must be Sierra.” She returns the hug, then proceeds to introduce herself to KayKay and Crystal. They were warm and inviting, and all four of them fell into conversation easily. The girls got to know Karla better, and even asks her to join them for girls night on Friday. They talk for what must have been three hours before all their boyfriends were beginning to get needy due to the lack of attention. Calum wraps his arm around her waist protectively, and traces her skin up and down while she was talking to KayKay about skin care or some topic he was totally disinterested in. She stops his hand from squeezing her side, which only sends KayKay into a fit of giggles.
“Calum Thomas Hood, I am trying to have a conversation here.” She scolds and he pouts at her, crossing his arms and sinking back into the couch.
They call it a night at around 1AM, and Calum was quick to pull his girl out the door. She shakes her head as he practically drags her behind him, until they’re out of sight from the house and he pulls her into his arms immediately.
“You’re such a needy boy huh?” She scratches the back of his neck as they both stand in each others arms in the middle of the street.
“I’m never bringing you out again. Only want your attention on me.”
-
Calum paces the room for the hundredth time, and Karla thinks the tiles on the floor are starting to thin out. He’s nervous and rightfully so, they were releasing wildflower today, along with the music video, and he also wants to tell the world about his girlfriend. Not that the fans didn’t already suspect anything, Karla was often pictured out with the boys, but more recently she was seen having lunch alone with Calum and that sent the fandom into a frenzy. They’ve managed to avoid the questions and rumours, but Calum wants to show his girl off to the world, and he feels that wildflower was the right chance.
“Babe, that tile on the ground is going to pop off if you keep pacing.” He pauses, looks at the floor underneath his feet and back at her before he sighs. Karla gets off the love seat and approaches Calum, cupping his face in her hands. She smooches him on the lips, making a faint smile appear on his face.
“All better?” He nods, then changes his mind quickly.
“But do you think-“
“No I’m not thinking.” She looks at him with sympathy, the worry lines prominent on his forehead, “Stop thinking, gorgeous. It’ll be fine, the song is amazing, and the video even better! You have nothing to worry about.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Karla questions, she’s making him a hot tea to calm his nerves.
“Are you not afraid of the hate?”
“Baby,” she hands him the pink mug which he accepts gratefully, “I’ve been pictured with more male artists in my life, speculations flying across the room like paper aeroplanes. My ex is Jonah Marias for goodness sake! I know what I’m getting myself into - a hot mess. But you’re worth every moment of it.”
Calum feels an overwhelming sense of relief from her words and he finally sits down with his tea. They wait for the release of the song, and soon the comments started rolling in after his post on Instagram.
@calumhood: This one’s for my wildflower. I hope you like it as much as I do xx
A picture of them from the beach house, the day after they announced their relationship to the boys. Calum’s face was pressed against hers, the smile on their faces couldn’t get any wider. Karla picks another picture, where Calum was grabbing her waist and threatening to throw her into the sea. She has Ashton to thank for catching such a moment. One last look at her caption, and she’s hitting post.
@karla_rivera: I guess I’m your favourite fantasy. Glad to be a part of this one, sweet pea <3
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honestlyhoneystuff · 4 years
Text
Bang Chan NSFW A-Z
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A (Aftercare- what they’re like after sex)  
Literally the sweetest after sex. The type to make sure you’re okay first before anything and then going and getting you something to clean off with. Will even run you a bath or hop in the shower with you (or if you wanna clean up alone will head to the kitchen to make you a snack and grab some water for you). After words he’d cuddle you until you fall asleep or get up to do something else.
B (Body Part- Their favorite body part on you and themselves)
On you I’d say he’s a sucker for you eyes in a non sexual way (and sometimes even sexual cause eye contact during sex is a big thing for him.) And in a sexual way he’d say your thighs because he loves grabbing them during sex, cumming on them, and even cuddling into your lap.
On himself boy loves his arms. He knows how weak you get over his veins and hands. He loves being able to make you weak just from a simple grab or touch. He also loves how he can pick you up at any time he wants and place you on something or against the wall.
C (Cum- Favorite place to cum)
I Think he really enjoys cumming on your thighs/ass. Maybe even on your stomach. He’d only cum inside if he was wearing a condom cause the thought of getting you pregnant literally terrifies him.
D (Dirty Fantasy- Secret or Not)
Total cliche but Chan might actually wanna try to take you in the studio. But the doors have to be locked and it’ll have to be late at night when no one else is around. Also the type to record your moans and sneak them into the next song he produces.
E (Experience- How experienced are they?)
I don’t think Chan is that experienced. He might have had his first time but chances are boys most likely still a virgin. He’s been a trainee for a long time and only focuses on his work so sleeping around and girls in general is just something he’s not that interested in right now. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing tho.
F (Favorite Position)
I think missionary is his go to favorite. Doggy when he’s feeling a bit more rough and dominant but most nights he wants to see your face and see how he’s making you feel. Also he has access to whisper in your ear and touch your chest and clit easily.
G (Goofy- How goofy are they during sex?)
Honestly while I think Chan would be more serious during sex I do think occasionally you’d get a goofy moment. He’s very laid back so I don’t think he’s afraid to just chill and vibe during sex. Also if something goofy happens he’d be very mature about it but also goof about (not to the extent of embarrassing you or anything though.)
H (Hair- How do they look down there)
I feel like Chan is really well groomed. Unless he gets really busy and forgets or is too lazy but I mean the boy drinks straight pineapple juice like he KNOWS things lol so he probs takes care of himself a lot. Also likes a happy trail (lol me too)
I (Intimacy- How intimate can they get and when?)
While Chan can be goofy sometimes I also think he can get very intimate as well. He takes his career and life very seriously and I think that would transfer into his relationship as well. Also if you were having a bad day or just felt like you weren’t good enough or anything he’d make the whole night about you (like he doesn’t already lol) and just make you feel good and loved.
J (Jack Off- Do they and how often)
I really don’t think he does it that often. He’s really busy most of the time so I think that even thinking about anything that could get him hard is very rare. Jacks off maybe once a week if that.
K (Kinks- top Kinks they might have)
BABYGIRL/BOY- He calls stays babygirl all the time so I KNOW he’d call his s/o that as well. He likes the dominating aspect of it and while he doesn’t partake in the Daddy title of it he does enjoy how submissive you can get for him especially if it’s just because he called you that.
Manhandling- He’s got some pretty nice muscles and he knows how weak you get for his arms so he uses that against you by picking you up all the time..either to push you against the wall, put you on a table or the bed, or flip you into another position.
Choking- I actually think he really likes this. Mostly for the trust aspect of it (and also the dominance it gives him) may even be open to you trying it on him.
Soft Dom/Switch- while I know this isn’t a kink I want to talk about it here. He’s really open to letting you top once in a while and even kind of borders on the no power play aspect a lot of the time.
L (Location- Where they like to have sex and places they might try)
I think Chan would like to stay in the bedroom. It’s where he feels most comfortable and having someone accidentally walk in on you is a less likely thing. I think he might even try the shower but he’d wanna be safe so he might only go as far as oral if that.
M (Motivation- What gets them going)
You. Chan’s pretty new to the whole dating and sex thing so thinking about the fact that he finally has someone to do it with would get him hot fast. Also if you give him a certain look, and he was in a position to take care of you or take you somewhere he could, that would get him hard in a second.
N (No- What are their turn offs and what they absolutely wouldn’t do)
I don’t think Chan would be into super hard kinks that bring harm to either one of you. He might spank you every once in a while but straight slapping might definitely be a no go. Also having threesomes is something I don’t think he’d be into.
O (Oral- How would the give/receive and what they prefer)
I think he would prefer to give oral more than receive. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like receiving, Chan is just a sweetheart that wants to make you feel good and doesn’t want to pressure you into doing it back if you don’t want to.
P (Pace- How is their pace? Fast and rough or deep and slow?)
He could really be a mix of both. Most times a normal but deep pace, on nights he’s feeling more intimate slower and deeper, and on nights where he might be a little mad and just need to fuck out some stress its rough and hard.
Q (Quickies- How do they feel about them?)
I don’t think he’d be to into them because he really wants to take his time with you. But if you were really needy and he really didn’t have much time he would possibly get you off with his fingers before anything else.
R (Risk- How risky are they? Do they experiment or stay safe?)
Chan plays it safe. He doesn’t want anyone to see you the way that he does and he doesn’t want to get caught by the public because that could ruin his and the boys’ careers.
S (Stamina- How many rounds can they go?)
Depending on how hard he went. Usually a normal night he might go 2 rounds, if he's super stressed he could hit 3 or even 4 if you could handle it. And on nights where he’s slow and sweet then most likely 1 but it’ll be long with a lot of foreplay and chances are he’d make you cum by his finger and mouth before even fucking you.
T (Toys- Do they use them on themselves or their partner?)
If you had toys that you used in your alone time he wouldn’t mind it but he wouldn’t bring those into the bedroom to use on you and definitely not on himself.
U (Unfair- How much do they tease?)
I don’t think he teases very often. If he does it’s probably because you started it or he got a little jealous.
V (Volume- How loud are they and what do they sound like?)
Quiet for the most part with nice deep groans in your ear. Def the type to talk to you during whether its for consent purposes or dirty talk. He’s also the type to talk you through your orgasm tell me I’m wrong.
W (Wild Card- Random head canon or scenario)
Chan excludes a lot of non sexual dominance when y’all are together. Mostly out in town and with other people (even the other boys) The type to help guide you around places by an arm around our waist or saying little phrases that kill you on the inside like: “come here baby”, “let me help you”, “sit on my lap” (or sexually- “sit on my lap kitten/baby”). Also the type to get onto you for swearing. Now I’m not saying Chan’s a straight Daddy but boys a daddy lol just without the title (he’d probs giggle every time you say it like let’s be honest with ourselves.)
X (X-Ray- What are they packing?)
Maybe not the longest but he’s packing some girth. A good 5 to 5.5 inches maybe.
Y (Yearning- How high is their sex drive?)
Honestly not that high. Unless it’s a time where he hasn’t seen you in a while or he just hits one of those moods where he only wants to be with you and through that comes a lot of sex.
Z (ZZZ- How quick do they fall asleep after?)
Wouldn’t fall asleep unless you did first and even then when you did he would also get up to go get some stuff done. If you didn’t fall asleep then he’d lay there talking with you for the next couple of hours until you did or either of you had to go do something. Would also put on the tv after to watch or have background noise. If you were still needy might even sneak in another round after some rest.
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Meeting and Dating Randy
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(Not my gif)(requested by @westanimagines )
(I tried my best with the few scenes we had of him <3)
- You meet Randy when you get a job at the grocery store. You get introduced to the butcher and pretty much everyone else during your first break with your new coworkers. From the moment you laid eyes on him there seemed to be something about him that pulled you in.
- Sadly, the two of you don’t see very much of each other considering he’s usually behind the scenes and you’re more on the floor. But every now and again you’ll have to go and get something from the back and you’ll bump into each other.
- Whenever everyone is on break together, he’ll shoot you glances from across the table. He’ll look over at you when he or someone makes a joke, finding your laugh adorable and smiling along with you. You tend to not notice it but every now and again you’ll catch his eye.
- You kind of feel bad that he’s stuck down there with no one but maybe Produce Joe to interact with so whenever things are slow you poke your head in and say hi. You start a sort of friendship with him and wind up getting pretty close, closer with him than any of your other coworkers at least.
- He never minds the company, in fact he looks forward to it. A pretty girl coming to pay him attention; what more could he ask for in this line of work? A raise maybe, but this was good enough for him.
- During one of your breaks, one of the other girls had asked if you had a boyfriend since they’d been telling you about a problem they’d been having with theirs. You chuckled and told her “it was kinda difficult to meet guys on a vampires schedule”. Randy just so happened to hear and was pleasantly surprised.
- For someone who spends a lot of time alone in a dimly lit meat locker he sure is good at flirting. You’re surprised when your usual banter turns into something more suggestive and complimentary but you certainly don’t mind.
- Not too long after your conversations started to take a turn, he invited you out for drinks at a bar down the road from the store. Even though you’d usually be too tired to do anything after your shift you happily accepted.
- You left work together and soon after you found yourself laughing with him as the two of you sat in a booth, sipping your drinks. He recounted stories that your bosses and coworkers had yet to tell you and had you in stitches with his own tales from behind the shelves.
- You really seemed to click as the night went on so you were excited when he said he’d like to “do this again sometime” as you walked out to your cars. He opened your car door for you, gave you a warm smile and headed over to his own vehicle. You were grinning the whole ride home even though you were starting to feel the effects of staying up later than you should’ve.
- Jennifer and Linda wanted all of the details when you went into work the next day. They could hardly act natural as Randy passed your little group as they attempted to bombard you with questions. You could see him give a knowing grin as he walked towards his station, leaving you flustered and your friends ecstatic.
- You ended up going out together again later that week, and then again a day or so after that. You were really smitten with each other.
- The two of you had your first kiss while you were at work waiting for your shifts to be over so you could go on your fourth date.
- You’d been moving some boxes into the back of the store when you’d heard a noise coming from the far end of the room you were supposed to be in. Obviously the sudden interruption scared you, especially when it came from somewhere you knew no one else was.
- You’d accidentally dropped a box when you’d gotten spooked which is what prompted Randy to come out and check on you. You assured him you were alright but mentioned the noise, still slightly (yet admittedly irrationally) shaken. He checked around for you, coming up with nothing once he was finished.
- It helped but you still weren’t completely comfortable. He teased you a little, gave you a hug and before you knew it his lips were on yours. It was definitely a nice way to be calmed down.
- Perhaps it’s not the best for people to date their coworkers but let’s just say you’re very happy you gave it a try.
- The extent of his pda is a quick kiss and hand on the small of your back or shoulder when you’re standing together. He’s not a huge fan of smooching you in the public eye.
- You drive to work together, usually in his car.
- You’re called either pumpkin, babe or sweetie, and of course sometimes just an abbreviation of your name.
- You usually wind up eating all your meals together. He’s pretty fond of Italian.
- He sneaks little bits of food whenever you’re cooking. He is a nuisance in the kitchen.
- He has his own place; albeit small, so you tend to hang out there, cuddling on the couch, watching a movie/tv show and drinking a beer.
- He doesn’t make a lot of money so you rarely have expensive dates. Not that either of you mind, just being together is good enough for you.
- He has a habit of coming in at bad times which is something you’ll just have to get used to. I mean it doesn’t happen all the time but make sure to lock the door if you’re dealing with something you don’t want him to walk into.
- Hands. Just hands. Butchers need to be steady and calculated yet I can see him having a slightly rough touch at the same time. ...Yum.
- Randy just looks tired so you tend to take naps together after work. Or he’ll occasionally fall asleep on you while you run your fingers through his hair.
- The two of you usually wind up with his feet on the coffee table and yours in his lap whenever you’re on the couch together. Either that or you’re pretty much laying on top of him.
- Even though he acts like a smartass he actually does like hearing about your day and the different stories that you have.
- He’s pretty fond of teasing you; doesn’t matter what it’s about he just loves doing it.
- He likes to mouth things at you when someone’s back is turned, trying to make you laugh while they’re distracted.
- He loves seeing you having a good time. He’s a pretty funny guy so it isn’t hard for him to make you laugh. Plus, his smartass behavior usually ends up doing the trick if his jokes don’t.
- You play pranks and attempt to spook each other.
- He’s a fan of horror in general so the two of you watch a lot of scary movies together.
- Baking cookies together.
- Stealing his flannels.
- He tends to misplace his belongings so you often know where he puts things more than he does.
- Mistreats appliances and tools; sometimes you feel the need to apologize to the things in his home. Poor half broken washing machine.
- He can be a baby when he gets hurt, he’ll keep fussing over his injuries until you help him or kiss them better.
- He has to lift heavy carcasses all day so he’s pretty strong. You need help lifting something or want to be lifted yourself than he’s your guy.
- He’s used to seeing a little blood and other gross things so theres not much that disturbs him. He’s perfectly fine in a lot of situations whether it be when you mention your period or want him to get rid of a dead animal in your yard.
- He thinks it’s cute if you don’t like being around the meat or thinking about him butchering. He always smiles when you give him a grimace as he talks about his work or whenever you see the hanging bodies.
- Sometimes you’ll catch him murmuring songs while he works; you think it’s cute. If you ask him sweetly enough he may just sing to you.
- Your mom probably loves getting the best of the best whenever she shops at the store or when you take home groceries.
- Your parents probably love him unless they’re super vegan and despise the meat industry. Your dad is especially a fan of his since he can make a conversation out of nothing and make the older man laugh like it’s no ones business.
- He offers to warm you up whenever you visit him in the meat locker and absentmindedly mention how cold it is.
- On that note~ He is basically a human heater; you sort of have to be to handle being in the cold nearly all day.
- Bar dates. He greatly enjoys teaching you how to play pool if you don’t know how.
- Having barbecues together.
- Sitting on the sink or bathtub ledge as he shaves in the morning.
- Showering together.
- He’s not a very jealous guy but he will tell someone to to fuck off if he finds them flirting with you, mostly because it’s obvious you’re uncomfortable.
- He’s pretty protective of you; and has a bit of a temper, so he’s prone to starting arguments or yelling at people in your honor.
- Making out in the back of the store and having quickies in the bathroom.
- Getting each other for lunch. You usually sit next to him with his arm wrapped around the back of your chair.
- He taste tests things for you. If something looks a little weird he’ll take a bite before you do to make sure it’s safe.
- Occasionally chatting with Produce Joe when you’re waiting for Randy to be finished with something. You’re like the only person in the store who really talks to him besides Randy. You get a taste of the freshest of fruits in return for your kindness.
- Comforting and ranting to each other when you’re told the news about the store. He’s definitely a little more upset than you are, considering he was cheated out of a whole two week paid vacation.
- Trying to help each other find new jobs when you’re laid off.
- He tells you he loves you quite a bit. It’s not hard for him in the slightest, he knows that he does and has no intentions of letting you go anytime soon.
- You picked a keeper; even your parents agree with you on that. You have to bribe your mom during the holidays to not bring up marriage. Not that it takes very long for him to propose to you ;)
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mrs-geuse · 5 years
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Distraction (Hank Anderson x Reader)
Warnings: Pretty fluffy, some kissing involved, some NSFW thoughts.
Pairing: Hank x fem!reader
Summary: Reader was turned down for a job and Hank comes to drink away some woes. Things get steamy. 
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           Hank hadn’t heard from you all day and it was really starting to piss him off, mostly because he was worried. Worried where your headspace was, fully aware of where it could be. And, damn it, he was scared; scared of losing you too. He’d given you a grand total of four calls in the last hour and none of them were answered.
           “You seem to be distracted, lieutenant,” Connor’s voice broke through his thoughts. Hank shot him a look. “I’ve asked you several questions and you have not responded.”
           “Jesus, Connor, we closed the case. What other questions can you have?” They were on their way back to the precinct to finish up paperwork.
           “My questions pertained to y/n,” Connor corrected. Hank stilled, glanced at him, then back to the road. “Did she get the job?”
           Hank sat silent for a moment then let out a quiet, “no.”
           Connor gazed curiously at him. “I don’t understand. She was there for seven months.”
           “Substituting for seven months,” Hank corrected. “Apparently that didn’t matter to those assholes. They picked somebody else.”
           Connor gazed out the window as the precinct came into view. “Has she contacted you since?”
           “No.”
           Hank parked, shut the car off, sighed.
           “You seem worried about her, lieutenant. You care for her.”
           “Shut it, Connor.”
           “Your cheeks are reddened, are you fevered?” his hand rose toward Hank’s forehead and was instantly smacked away.
           “Quit it,” he grumbled, shoving his way out of the car then slamming the door.
           Connor was a few steps behind Hank as he stormed toward the building.
           “It is completely understandable that you care for her well-being, Hank, she’s-”
           Hank spun on his heels before they went inside, grabbing Connor’s shirt collar in his hands.
           “Don’t you dare pretend like you know what’s going on here,” he snapped at Connor. “I don’t even know what’s going on here…” his grip loosened.
           Connor paused, considering what to say. “I can quickly make the report and scan the documents on. You should go to y/n.”
           Hank stepped back, considered Connor for a moment. Yeah, go see y/n. He half expected you to slam the door right in his face.
           “Alright,” he begrudgingly agreed. “But don’t fuck this up or it’ll be on my ass, ya hear me?”
           He bought you a bottle of white wine. He knew it was your favorite because the one work outing you agreed to go to with him you’d ordered a pinot grigio. As he drove, Hank reflected on that night. Gavin had been all over his ass that night, eyeing up his arm candy – clearly surprised that you’d showed up with him. To your defense, he’d practically begged you to go. Everyone else showed up with someone on their arm and he was always the first to leave, the least interested in the social gathering aspect of maintaining a career. It was one of the few nights he actually didn’t hate existing.
           Four raps on the door, he paused and shuffled from one foot to the other. Glancing back at his car in your driveway, Hank strongly considered going home to see Sumo, getting some rest.
           Yet he knocked again – giving it one more chance. Damn it, he would never drink the wine. Maybe he should just leave it…
           The door opened as the thought crossed his mind and Hank suddenly felt entirely uncomfortable.
           You stood in the doorway, tiny black shorts on, a tank top…looking completely forlorn.
           “Hey…” he spoke cautiously, scratching the back of his neck.
           “Come in,” you quietly offered, stepping aside.
           Hank noted the empty wine glass on the coffee table, the TV on, box of tissues beside an empty wine bottle.
           “I…brought you another,” he handed the wine to you. “I’m sorry about the job.”
           Sadness and then anger crossed your face but you took the bottle into the kitchen. Hank slowly followed you, careful to not say the wrong thing.
           “I thought I had it, Hank,” you sighed as you grabbed a whiskey glass for him. Your hands fumbled for a bottle.
           “I know, y/n. I know. Me too.”
           You sigh, completely defeated as you poured him a hefty glass of whiskey. Hank came up from behind you and you hadn’t even realized he’d gone to fetch your empty wine glass from the living room. He knew where your wine opener was, had been over a time or two before to drink away your sorrows together. Some days were just too rough.
           You turned to him as he opened your wine and your heart swelled in your chest. Quietly, Hank poured your wine and pushed the glass closer to you. The look he gave you made you want to curl up in his lap: the pitiful eyes, the sad expression.
           Your arms wrapped around him before you even registered the thought. Hank stilled at your touch, clearly surprised. He tentatively eased his arms around you, placing his lips to the top of your head.
           “I still can’t believe after all this time they didn’t pick me…It hurts,” you sobbed, letting the emotion fall from you in waves. “They dicked me, Hank.”
           You felt him nod against the top of your head, running his hands up and down the length of your back.
           “They’re fuckin’ idiots. They’ll be sorry.”
           Your hands balled into fists against the back of his shirt and you felt so frustrated with yourself for crying in front of him. Your coworkers had made it seem like you’d had the job – like it was a given – you’d worked there for seven months, put in your best effort, and now here you were with nothing to show for it.
           You pulled away as quickly as you’d latched onto him. It was embarrassing to have him see you like this.
           “I’m surprised you’re here, Hank, I know how much you like to go home after work.” You tried to change the subject.
           Hank nodded as he picked up the whiskey you poured him and followed you into the living room.
           “Actually, Connor kinda…uh…suggested I come.” Hank stumbled over his words. You couldn’t help but smirk at that. Of course he did. Who else could push Hank in such a way? “Besides, I took my lunch break at home so I could take care of Sumo.”
           The two of you settled on the couch, mindlessly flipping through channels until something caught your eye. Honestly, you wanted to get your mind off the day but it kept drifting back to the betrayal you felt. You’d given your heart and soul to this job in hopes that it would produce something for you and instead when it came down to the final interview: you and someone else, they chose someone else.
           A sigh left your lips and you noticed Hank glance your way, mouth a hard line. Your eyes looked hollow he noticed and he took a long gulp of his whiskey, trying to burn away the nervousness he felt around you.
           Soon your wine glass was almost empty and Hank started to stand up to get the bottle but your hands pulled him back down.
           “Y/n, what-”
           You buried your head in his shoulder and snuggled up to him unabashedly. Hank stilled, breath caught in his throat. The wonderful warmth he offered was such a comfort to you and you placed your hand on the center of his chest, closing your eyes.
           Slowly, he moved his arm above you on the couch to make it more comfortable for the both of you. He hummed softly and the rumble of his chest made you blush.
           “Tell me about your day,” you suggested.
           Hank paused, realizing that you were just trying to distract yourself.
           He chuckled. “Not much to tell. Connor being annoying as shit, putting shit in his mouth. Greasy lunch. A homicide. Same old.”
           You laughed quietly at that, imagining the comical scene of Hank rushing over to scold the android for tasting things at the crime scene, as you’d heard happened frequently.
           “Still not used to it?” you asked, absentmindedly playing with his shirt.
           Hank grumbled. “Nope. Never will be. Weird fucker…”
           Another laugh sounded and Hank was thrilled that he could bring joy into this day for you. Feeling you pressed against his body made him very aware of how right this felt, but he said nothing.
           “Thanks for staying with me, Hank. I’m glad I’m not alone tonight.”
           “Me too.”
           You quietly considered your options: stay there or pull away. Being wrapped in his arms was the best form of comfort you’d found all day: beyond the wine and the few others friends you contacted there was something about Hank’s being that made things a little less gloomy.
           You decided to stay like that a little longer, until Hank couldn’t take it anymore. When his fingers started tracing circles on your arm, you began to wonder if this was comfortable to him too.
           And then you glanced up at him from under your eyelashes. At your movement, he broke gaze from the TV to look at you.
           It felt like it happened in slow-motion. One second you were admiring how handsome he was and the next you had your mouth pressed to his.
           He let out a surprised noise before easing into the kiss, pulling you in closer to him. He tasted like whiskey and it was an interesting mix with the wine taste on your tongue. You craved the distraction, was grateful for him for so many things in your odd friendship. The crush had been there for a while now – festering – waiting until the right moment. Apparently the right moment was the night you lost a potential job…
           “I’m sorry,” you found yourself saying between kisses. “I shouldn’t have-”
           “Oh, no, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “You’ve no idea how long I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout that…”
           You felt heat rush to your cheeks. “R-really?”
           Hank nodded slowly, looking bashful for a few seconds.
           “Look, I feed you wine and you’re all over me!” he joked. At his comment, you pushed his shoulder in humored frustration.
           “I’ll show you ‘all over’!” you called as you pulled yourself up into a straddling position on his lap.
           Hank looked dumbfounded by the turn of events and you noticed the pinkness to his cheeks intensify. As much as he’d like to act confident you were sure his heart was hammering in his chest – you knew him too well to expect anything less from him.
           “You better watch it, y/n…” he groaned, taking in the look of you on his lap like this. You swore he was trying to pull his hips back. Your mind wandered…
           “Or what?” you said lowly, giving him a fiery look.
           “Don’t tempt me, woman…” he dropped his voice low too and you shivered at the sound.
           “But, Hank, I wanna!” you fake pouted.
           Hank leaned in and kissed you deeply, placing a hand behind your head.
           An alarm went off and you jumped at the sound, pulling away with a gasp.
           “Shit…” Hank grumbled as he fished in his pocket for his phone. His eyes squinted when he looked at the bright phone. “Aw, great…Sumo.”
           “Everything okay?”
           “Yeah…Connor put an alarm on this stupid thing so I know when to feed Sumo.”
           “Oh…” your voice trailed off at the thought of him leaving soon. It was probably getting late.
           Hank tossed his phone to the couch and pulled you into him again, kissing you deeper than he’d done all night. You felt the need, the heat…
           You definitely felt him hard beneath you when you pushed him down on the couch and it floored you – the perfect distraction.
           Your little make out session continued with you being straightforward, slowly unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt and kissing your way down his chest. Hank’s breath hitched, his mind wandering to where your mouth was headed.
           Oh, fuck…
           As you were on the final button of his shirt, your lips hovering just above the button of his jeans another alarm went off on his phone.
           “Oh, God damn it!” he cussed, fumbling for the phone which had fallen to the floor.
           You smirked against his skin, glancing up at the flustered expression on his face. Biting your lip, you smiled at him when he shot you an exasperated look.
           “Everything alright over there?”
           Hank growled at that, throwing his head back against the pillow beneath him.
           “Damn it…” he sighed, seeming to consider something. “Come over,” he blurted, instantly feeling ridiculous for doing so.
           “W-what?!”
           “I can’t leave Sumo alone. Just…come over,” he bit his lower lip as he looked at you. “Please.”
           It took you no time to agree.
           What a perfect distraction.
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What We Live For (Part 1)
Synopsys: After Loki’s arrival on Earth, the Reader and the Prince of Asgard form a tight bond, that soon enough develop into mutual love, but neither will admit. Though a fatal injury during a mission might make both reevaluate their feelings.
Part 2
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Genre: fluff; angst
Warnings: minor swearing, mentions of blood
Word count: 6112
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   Y/N was sweaty beyond belief. It wasn’t just the fact that a sudden heat wave had decided to wash over New York. It wasn’t the fact that Tony and Bruce had blown out the AC while doing an experiment. It was because Steve seemed to be in his sadistic mood. Or so he was in Y/N’s mind.    Three hours they had trained in the gym and then he had decided that they needed to go for a run. Outside. In the park. Under the scorching sun. Throwing daggers in his direction while sipping on her water bottle, Y/N thought of the tens of thousands of ways she could murder him. And turning the body into dust wouldn’t be that big of a problem. When you’re a pyrokinetic and can produce fire as hot as the star the Earth revolved around... Let’s just say she was having fun imagining him in pain.    “I hate you,” Y/N grumbled for the millionth time while walking towards the common area.    “What did Steve do again?” Bucky’s voice invaded her senses. Once the super soldier had officially joined the Avengers, the two quickly bonded. They both loved science and space and spent countless hours staring at the night sky. Well, the simulation that Tony had set up on one of the floors, as New York’s bright lights didn’t allow any to real ones to sparkle through.    “He hates me so wanted to see me suffer.”    “Nawh, doll. Steve doesn’t hate you.”    “Tell that to the ten miles I just had to run. Through New York. In the heat.”    “He gets intense, that’s all. You know he means well.”    Bucky slung his metal arm around the girl's shoulders and Y/N instantly groaned in pleasure, clinging to the prosthetic. Somehow even through it all, the vibranium didn’t get any hotter, so Bucky had become his fellow Avenger's personal walking cooler.    “Yeah, well, I’ll mean well when I set him on fire.”    The ex-assassin chuckled and kissed Y/N’s temple as they made their way into the common room. The girl went to the fridge and opened up her water bottle, dropping at least a dozen ice cubes inside and put the now cold water to the nape of her neck.
   “How far is Tony with the AC fixing?”    “I don’t think he’s that far,” Bucky replied sounding quite distracted. “Looks like he has far more pressing issues right now.”    “What is more pressing than not dying of a heat stroke?”    As Y/N turned around she started to hear people talking. Loudly. And no party sounded happy.    “What’s going on?” She made her way to stand next to Bucky as he observed what looked like to be Tony and Steve facing two larger figures. One was raven-haired and adorned a green, black and gold outfit while the other had sandy blond hair in a buzz cut and an eyepatch.    “Who’re they?”    “If I had to guess, the one Tony is scolding like a child is Thor and the one Steve looks like he wants to kill with just a glance is Loki. They’re from Asgard. I think the dark haired one tried to take over the world at some point.”    “Wow,” Y/N took a sip of her water, “what don’t you miss when you’re not on Earth for like a decade.”    “Or when you’re brainwashed by HYDRA.”    “True dat,” and the pair fist bumped.    Y/N was the only other person in the compound Bucky felt close enough to tell everything. All the little details and what was pressing on his heart, so he was more than comfortable joking about things like his time as the Winter Soldier. And seeing as she hadn’t been on Earth for almost a decade and had quite the amount of culture, music and other things to catch up on, they had bonded, forming a tight relationship and helping one another with adapting to the new society.    “Fine!” Tony exclaimed. “But he’s not to be without supervision. At any point in time.”    “Man of Iron, my brother has changed. He only tried to kill me twice today.”    “Is that supposed to make me feel any better, Point Break? He tried to take over New York. So if even one strand on that head of his goes out of line, I will personally punch him back to space.”    The one who Tony had referred to as ‘Point Break’ shrugged and nodded. “Seems fair,” and the raven-haired man rolled his eyes.    Steve was still shooting daggers at the man when going to sit by the kitchen island, while Tony stomped away in annoyance.    “Hey, kid,” he greeted and hugged Y/N.    “Hey, dad,” she affectionately replied. Even though there was no blood relation between the two, the genius had immediately taken a liking to the girl and treated her as if she was his own. So Y/N just went along with it. Down the line, they formed a truly special relationship where she looked at Tony as a father figure.    “You stink and need to take a shower.”    “And you need to fix the AC, otherwise I’m gonna blame my death on you. And Steve, of course.”    Stark chuckled and put his hands in his pockets. “I still don’t get how you can hate heat when you can actually control fire.”    “Beats me,” Y/N shrugged and took a sip of her water. She could feel a pair of eyes intently watching her and after scanning the room it turned out to be Loki’s. The green bore into her Y/E/C and it was as if he was sizing her up, judging and observing.    “Don’t get too close to that one. He’s nothing but trouble.” With a kiss to her forehead, Tony went away and back to his lab, leaving Bucky, Y/N and Steve with the two Asgardians.    “I do not believe we have properly met.” It was Point Break who approached Y/N and Bucky first. “My name is Thor, Son of Odin. God of Thunder. Prince of Asgard.”    “Okay,” she handed him his palm expecting a handshake, but instead he kissed the top of it as if in a movie set in the middle ages. “I’m Y/N, but some refer to me as Firebird.”    “Ah, so you are like the Man of Hawk.”    “You mean Hawkeye? No, I don’t use arrows. I control actual fire. Like the element.”    “Impressive. Well, we should have a match against one another. To see which one is more powerful.”    “I guess…?” Y/N’s eyebrows shot up in amusement and question as she side eyed Bucky who was masking a chuckle with a cough. Thor’s attention turned to the super soldier and he introduced himself once more.    The girl’s attention was taken back to the raven haired man. He was a good head taller than her and had a gaze so piercing she was afraid he could burn a hole through her skull.    “I’m Loki.” The voice was deep and smooth. She could imagine having endless conversations with him with hot teas in their hands and books laying in their laps.    “Y/N,” he clasped her hand. It was surprisingly cold, but not unwelcome. A bit rough, but not completely callused. “And what are you the god of?”    He smiled, a glint appearing in his eyes. “Well, here you refer to me as the God of Mischief and Lies.”    “So that means if I want to go to the cinema and get the children’s discount you would be able to talk them into it?”    “Y/N,” it was Steve’s warning tone.    “Oh come on! You won’t allow me to say that you are actually a hundred years old and get the seniors one. The tickets are fucking expensive!”    “Language!”    The girl showed him his tongue and reverted her gaze back to Loki. “I assume you’re a prince as well.”    “You assume correctly. Though we are adopted,” he looked at Thor who was now in deep conversation with Bucky and walking towards the other brooding super soldier sitting by the counter “I am still considered a royal. And if I am not mistaken you are one of the most feared warriors in all of the nine realms.”    “Can’t say much about the nine realms, but I know at least three of them know my name. Well, my pseudonym, I guess.”    “The bird of flame, who incinerates the sky and leaves nothing but the ash of her enemies behind.”    “Yeah… something like that.”    “Well, I shall make sure not to get on the wrong side of you then.”    Y/N looked him up and down. Menacing, yes, you could clearly see that spark, the want to disobey authority, but Steve and Tony were making it seem like he was completely irredeemable. To her, the man standing in front didn’t seem like someone who would wish to destroy a city inhabited by millions of people. This man looked like he wanted redemption and just a chance to live life like a normal being.    “So,” Y/N went to sit down onto the couch and flipped on the TV while simultaneously pulling off the sweat soaked T-Shirt she had stolen from Bucky, “why do you know who I am and Thor doesn’t? If I’m so infamous I would expect him to recognise the name as well.”    “My brother is an oaf,” Loki chuckled and with a glimmer of green his own clothes changed to something more appropriate for Earth and its insanely hot weather. “And I like to pay attention to things I find magnificent.”    Y/N quirked an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a smooth one.”     “Just stating the facts.”    She snorted right as two hands clamped down on her shoulders startling the girl.    “Fucking hell, Bucky! You know I hate it when you go into stealth mode.”    “Sorry, doll. Didn’t mean to scare you. Steve and I are gonna go down and spar for a bit. Thor is apparently coming with.”    “Ohh,” Y/N put on her best puppy dog eye look, “please kick Cap’s ass for me. Like, go really hard on him. I’d do it myself, but that would mean putting in actual effort to communicate with the guy and right now I’m pissed for what he made me do.”    “Anything for you, love,” Bucky kissed the top of Y/N’s head. “You sure you’re gonna be fine with him alone?” he muttered so that only she could hear, but by the look he was giving Loki, who only smirked and looked at his clasped hands, everyone knew what he was asking.    “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”    “Just… don’t get into too much trouble. Please. For me.”    “Sarge, where would be the fun in life if I didn’t?”    “You wouldn’t have spent three months in the hospital wing.”    “Hey! That was a low blow!” but she was shouting into thin air, as Bucky had already left the room, his bellowing laughter the only answer she got.    “You were hurt?” Y/N looked over at Loki, whose eyebrows had creased and she could detect actual worry in them.    “Even people with superpowers are not invincible,” a sad smile crossed the girl’s face as the memories of pure and utter pain, of the three months, she was more dead than alive, flooded her mind. “And I guess that would be my warning to you as well."    “Warning?”    “We’ll probably be sharing a floor and I have very bad nightmares. Night terrors would be more appropriate. So if you hear screaming, don’t be alarmed. No one is trying to kill me. At least not yet.”    With that Y/N retreated leaving Loki to his own devices. The Trickster couldn’t help but feel a pull towards the girl, he couldn’t help but want to figure out every little piece to the puzzle that she was. So he set it as his mission while he was staying on Earth. The Avengers might still see him as the person who tried to take over a city while under the influence of the Tesseract, but she didn’t seem to care. And to have at least one friend in the universe would be enough for Loki.
***
   The Norse god and Y/N started to grow closer and closer. He felt like someone could finally see the true him and accept every flaw and crack without judgement. Slowly but surely Loki found himself falling for her. A mortal, a Midgardian, but the feelings were undoubtedly there.    She had confided in him after several of her nightmares had woken Loki up. He was there, by her side, calming her racing heart and wiping the tears away. It made him furious about whatever incident or whoever had instilled such fear that at night she could not get proper sleep. Y/N didn’t tell what exactly had happened to produce such terrors, but, even though Loki wanted to dig until there was nothing more to find, he just allowed the girl to find peace within his presence. Such an uncharacteristic thing of how people felt around him.    “You’re the ice to my fire,” she had said one night as her arms had a death grip on his waist. “I don’t know how you do it or what you do, but in the moments when I feel like I am about to explode, you just… pull me off of the ledge.”    “Lokiiiiii!” he was brought back to the present as the girl plopped herself down and into his lap. “Whatcha reading?”    “A book.” He closed the piece of literature and placed it down. Usually, he was fine with courting women, but around Y/N, Loki’s heart would beat a mile a minute.    “So here’s the deal- Bucky has to go on a stupid mission and he’s leaving me alone, even though he promised he’d go with me, but alas, the world is always getting itself in trouble. That is why I wanted to ask you if you want to go with me to this book expo. And you’ve been cooped up in this place for almost three months now.”    “I have been put under house arrest by Stark and Captain Rogers. You know that, Princess.”    “Well as your self-appointed best friend, I lift the arrest for at least one day,” the girl ‘knighted’ him with the side of her palm. “Besides, you’ve been good, not getting in trouble. Or like nothing major.”    Loki’s heart was about to leap out of his mouth. She was looking at him with such a soft gaze, the Y/E/C orbs holding so much love and care. He knew that there was no world he could possibly deserve her.    “Please,” she jutted out her bottom lip and Loki wanted nothing more than kiss her, “pretty please?”    He huffed in mock annoyance and hugged her waist. “How can I say no to that face?”    “Yes!” she jumped up in triumph. “Be ready in twenty minutes.” Y/N dashed out and Loki was about to follow when suddenly a loud crash came from the hallway.    “I’m fine, I’m okay! Go get ready!”    “You’ll be the death of me, woman,” but there was no malice to the words, rather pure and unadulterated love.    Sure enough in twenty minutes time, a very excited Y/N was waiting for the god by the elevator.    “Come on, you snail! All the good ones are gonna be gone if you keep moving so slowly!”    Right as the ding went off and the door opened, the Avenger walked straight into a muscular chest.    “Shit, sorry, Steve.”    “It’s okay,” strong hands gripped onto Y/N as to not let her fall, but all his attention went to the person standing behind her. “And where do you think you’re going?”    “To what is called a book expo with Y/N here. As she has informed me mister Barnes and you are going on a mission, so I’ve come to the rescue and shall be accompanying her.”    “No, you’re not.”    “Steve,” Y/N scolded him, “come on! He’s been good, he hasn’t stepped out of line once.”    The super soldier’s gaze instantly softened when looking at the young woman. She had become like a sister to him, the need to keep her safe and taken care of having become a prominent part of his life now. “I’m afraid that also involves you. We need all hands on deck for this one.”    Y/N groaned in annoyance. “Seriously? I’ve been waiting months for this!”    “Sorry, pumpkin. But it’s bigger than anticipated. And as much as I hate this, we need your help as well, Loki.”    That took the Trickster by surprise. “Mine?”    “Yes, yours. So go and get suited up.”    Loki looked at Y/N whose mood had suddenly changed completely. It was like a dark cloud had settled over the usually happy girl.    “Princ-“ he started, but she cut him off mid-sentence.    “Loki, can I talk to Steve alone? I’ll meet you on the jet.”    He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to know what had suddenly made her go so rigid, but respecting Y/N’s wishes he made the battle armour appear and went to the jet.    “Steve, I’m not ready to go out in the field. Not after that. I know it’s been a while, but I can’t.”    Y/N was on the verge of a panic attack and Cap could clearly see that. “Doll, you’ll be fine. You may not think you aren't well enough to go into the field, but I know you are. And you’ll be right by me, by Bucky’s and Nat’s sides every second of it. I wouldn’t ask you this if it wasn’t necessary.”        “You promise?” she squeezed his palms so tightly he could feel the fire burning through her veins and heat up his own skin. “You promise you’ll be there? Next to me?”    “Every step of the way.”    Her insides were trembling. Y/N wasn’t ready, but the Avengers needed her, so gathering all the nonexistent courage, she went to her room and quickly changed into the fireproof tactical gear specifically designed by Tony and Shuri.    With wobbling legs, she stepped into the hangar and onto the jet which immediately disappeared between the clouds.    Loki was already standing up to ask if she was alright, but it was like he didn’t exist like he was a wall. Y/N walked straight past him and sat down next to Bucky, gripping onto his metal arm.    Jealousy shot through the man. Of course, there would be more going on between the two of them. How could he have been so blind? She was just trying to be nice, to make him feel welcome.    The honorary Avenger scoffed at how he had allowed himself to develop feelings for a simple mortal woman, but as much as he tried to turn his mind to hate, Y/N he couldn’t. Saddened eyes glanced at the girl who had her head on the Winter Soldier’s shoulder.    But what Loki didn’t see was glazed over Y/E/C orbs that were trained on one spot. He didn’t see the white-knuckled grip Y/N had on Bucky’s palm. He didn’t see the shaky lip as she relived the last mission that had almost cost her her life. Loki didn’t hear the reassuring whispers from Bucky as he tried to calm Y/N down. He didn’t hear him try and change her state of mind so that she could focus on the mission and protecting herself. He kept reminding his best friend that he would be right there with her, as would Natasha and Steve. He kept reminding how strong and irreplaceable she was to the team. Which all of it was true, but even Bucky had to admit Y/N wasn’t ready and the glare he threw to where Steve was standing and arguing with Tony about something was enough to express every word racing through his mind.
***
   They arrived way too quickly for Y/N’s liking, but then again, if things had gone the way Y/N had wanted them to, she would be at a book expo with Loki.    “Y/N you’re with me, Nat and Bucky. Tony, Sam I need you high in the sky wiping out the perimeter. Thor, Wanda, Vision you take up the east side, Pietro and Loki, take the west. Rhodey and Clint have the north and the Hulk will be taking care of the south. Everyone got it?”    A chorus of ‘roger that’, ‘yep’ and ‘whatever’ rang through the jet before people piled out and immediately joined in the fight.    “It’s gonna be easy. In and out. You just gotta melt the door. We all will have your back,” Nat put a reassuring palm on Y/N’s shoulder.    “Burn bright, little star,” the redhead said and with that, she rushed out to start and clear the path to the HYDRA base. It was an act for Y/N. All of it. The bravado, the carefree attitude, the person she used to be before her last mission- it was now a completely different version compared to the broken shell of who she had become. But for the others, for the Avengers, for her little dysfunctional family, she would become whoever they needed her to be. For Loki who she had fallen for. Even when her feet stumbled and she almost tripped, when deadly fear gripped her throat so tight she couldn’t breathe, she would do it.    The battle was bloody. No matter how many agents she turned into ash and no matter the number of bullets turned into pure liquid as she made walls of fire appear out of thin air and wove into scorching snakes, Y/N could see only red. And on the inside, an old wound had started to hurt.    It took them a good couple of minutes before they could even get to the entrance of the base. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Loki throwing daggers and using his ice powers to herd off the enemy. She should’ve told him that she had developed a tiny, ginormous crush on the god, but now was not the time to think about that.    “Do your thing, Firebird,” Bucky cheekily smiled and returned to shooting with the rifle, as Steve protected their backs with his shield.    With one last glance at the trickster who had stolen her heart, Y/N turned her full attention to the metal door and placed a palm against it. For a few seconds nothing happened, but then, bit by bit the steel started to glow red and then turned white as it slid down and burned the grass creating a pool of burning silver.    “You’re doing great, doll. We’re almost done,” Bucky covered Y/N’s back with his frame, deflecting bullets with the vibranium palm. “Deep breaths.”    And so she took one, unleashing the fire of a thousand suns. The team themselves barely got out of the way before windows exploded from the blazing flames and bones were charred until even the lightest breeze took them to the sky.    Nat stood up from her crouched down position and kissed Y/N’s cheek. “I love you more and more with every second that I know you.”    The younger girl chuckled, but they had no time to savour the moment so the four set off in a sprint before the base got invaded once more.    Arriving by the correct door took them pretty much no time at all and Y/N once again placed a palm against the cool metal which started to heat up. But something was off, something didn’t feel right. Yet it was already too late. The second the door slid to their waist level a click could be heard and Y/N was thrown back against the wall.    She didn’t slide down, didn’t crumple to her knees, instead her eyes were wide while they beheld the large arrow that had gone through her side and impaled her to the wall.    “Buck?”    Y/N didn’t hear the yells of her teammates who were asking what the hell was going on. Instead, her body disintegrated the bolt and she sagged down to the floor.    “No, no, no, no, no, why did you do that? You know you never remove a knife from a wound. It’s what keeps you from bleeding out. Stark!” The ex-Winter Soldier called out as Cap stood frozen and Nat couldn’t tear her gaze away from the scarlet stream slipping out of Y/N’s body.    “Stark! We need immediate help! Y/N was shot!”    An eerie silence filled the comms, before a quiet ‘what?’ responded.    It sounded like Loki to her. Her Loki. Her friend. The person she loved most. But it could’ve been anyone else in the team, for every sound was muffled, her vision was already going hazy and she could only think of her last mission where the girl was bleeding out on the floor, just like now. Where the fiery magic that flowed through her veins was trying to patch her body up, but couldn’t the bullet that had penetrated her body had been laced with some sort of a resistant, and clearly the arrow had been coated with the same substance, turning her world into nothing but pain.    Y/N’s eyes started to drip closed. Maybe it could be over, maybe she wouldn’t have to trail through the recovery process and she could just peacefully leave. Without regrets. Well one, but then again, what would a god want to do with a mortal.    “Stay with me, Princess. Don’t you dare close your eyes.”    Princess. That is what Loki had started to call her.    “Loki?”    Her speech was already starting to slur, and she could barely feel the pressure someone was keeping on the wound. Green mist surrounded them and everything went quiet. There were no more gunshots, no more yelling, apart from the fading one of her comm. The harsh midday sun had changed its glow and was now only a softly fading yellow gleam, which meant they certainly weren’t at the HYDRA base.    “FRIDAY,” the prince’s voice was filled with fear, “where is doctor Cho?”    “In the med wing. I have informed of your arrival and she is setting up the surgery room.”    Cho? But that meant that they were back home at the tower. Her head lolled to the side, and indeed they were. There was the couch they had sat on and talked endlessly about Shakespeare, just like she had dreamed in beginning. And there was the kitchen island Y/N always laid out food for the team in the weekend mornings, sparing a pile of pancakes for Loki, fresh strawberries adorning the sweet circles.    Y/N blinked and suddenly a cold and harsh surface greeted her back, white lights blinding her for an instant before black hair came back into view.    “You’re not gonna die on, me. Not if I have any say in it.”    It was all too much. She just wanted to let go, Y/N was so exhausted. So she closed her eyes and didn’t open them.
***
   The God of Mischief was not in a good mood whatsoever. He couldn’t help the rage coursing through his freezing veins as Y/N fought for her life in the operating room. The anger was all-consuming, yelling at him to let it out, but what surprised him, even more, was that it was not addressed to any of the Avengers. But at himself. For not being able to deal with his feelings and not admitting to Y/N how much he loved her.    He sat in the waiting area for what seemed like days, pale fingers pulling at the ebony hair, helplessness not being an emotion he knew how to deal with. It was around hour five of Y/N’s surgery when voices invaded the tower.    “-ou she was not ready!” Loki recognised it to be Bucky and he stood up, watching as the dark-haired super soldier entered the hallway, fury written across his features.    “How was I supposed to know it was going to be booby-trapped?” Captain America retorted, pain shining in his own blue eyes accompanied by guilt.    “It’s not about that! It’s about the fact she can barely sleep because of the last time! She is terrified to go anywhere near the armoury in the gym! You know what that mission did to her!”    Loki’s eyes moved between the two friends like ping-pong balls as things started to click.    “I had no choice, Buck! We needed all hands on deck. Do you think I enjoy putting Y/N in danger? Do you think I get any satisfaction that she is in the same position right now as she was after the last mission? That she might not make it?”    That was the wrong thing for Steve to say as it was the last straw for Loki.    “What do you mean she might not make it?” the words came out strained. Two heads whipped to look at the god. They hadn’t noticed the quiet man through their bickering and the shock on Steve’s face was evidence of that.    “Nothing,” he stammered out and then cleared the throat. “She’s gonna be fine. It’s Y/N,” the blond continued, “she always is.”    “Then why,” Loki pointed at Bucky, “does he not seem to agree with you, Captain?”    He was at a dead end and seemed to realise it, so with a deep sigh, Steve hung his head before plopping down onto one of the plush chairs. ”Because in the last mission she almost did die. And the arrow, which that time was a simple bullet... but it was enough… it was coated in a substance that stops any regeneration of cells. Cuts, bruises, stab-wounds- no matter how little, once that poison makes itself present in your body- any injury can become deadly. Hell, you can die from a paper-cut. Y/N…” Steve threw his head back and looked at the ceiling as his mind went back to what was now almost six months ago. “She got shot. Took a bullet for Wanda. It grazed her heart. It took Helen and Bruce twenty-six hours to get her to a state that was somewhat better than dead-and-done. She was in a coma for two months before whatever was present in her system was flushed out. What used to take her two days tops to heal, took her a month. PTSD has been a bitch ever since then… but you already knew that…”    Tears slipped down the soldier’s cheeks as he remembered that horrible time. “And with it now being an arrow that went completely through her body…”    He couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t bring himself to. But Loki wasn’t listening, his eyes saw nothing but the metal doors that lead to the room where Y/N would either be saved or she’d never open her eyes again.    “If she dies,” Loki sneered, flaming green gaze looking at Steve, “her blood will be on your hands. And with it the rest of the worlds. Because you can be sure, I will burn everything to the ground and leave nothing in its wake.”    The god didn’t even look at Steve’s sagging shoulders before he left the two soldiers.
***
   Miraculously Y/N had pulled through. Barely though. It had taken Cho and twenty other doctors eighteen hours to stabilise what could be stabilised. Now it was a waiting game. To see if the girl’s body could flush the poison out or would she succumb to it.    For five months Loki sat by her side day and night. Tony, obviously had given Y/N the best room possible, which included a shower the trickster utilised. He couldn’t be bothered to go back to his apartments, to see the still lingering remnants of their last night spent together. There were still two empty teacups on the floor as well as their unfinished books from a night full of talking and laughter.    He had taken Y/N’s and brought it to her hospital room. She’d want to read it when she woke up, was what Loki had said to himself when making the small distance to the med wing. The thought of ‘if she woke up’ was pushed to the furthest corner of his mind. Because if she didn’t, mercy would not exist. Not from him.
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
   Admit impediments. Love is not love
   Which alters when it alteration finds,
     Or bends with the remover to remove:
     O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
     That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
     It is the star to every wandering bark,
     Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
   Loki’s voice was smooth as it carried the words through the air. Green orbs traced each letter with care and diligence until a soft groan invaded the stillness of the room. Immediately he was up on his feet, face hovering over Y/N’s to see if there had been even the slight change. But nothing. Not a soft flutter of her eyelashes or a small part of the lips.    He shook his head, gaze returning to the poetry book. The god’s mind must have been playing tricks, making him hear what he wished to hear. But then his heart almost leapt out of his chest when a hoarse ‘turn it off’ came from Y/N.    “Darling?” hope laced the little word, tears threatening to spill from his eyes if it turned out to be simply a figment of his imagination.    “Please,” her mouth moved. “Turn it off.”    Loki laughed, grasping her palm and feeling her warm fingers embrace his. “Welcome back, love.”    A soft smile graced her face as finally, after almost twenty weeks of not seeing Y/N’s glimmering orbs, they opened up and gazed into his.    “Hey, Loki,” her look was so gentle he almost kissed her then and there. “Can you please turn it off. I just want five more minutes.”    “Turn what off?” The Asgardian was confused, looking around the room to find what was causing her discomfort.    “That annoying beeping. It’s making my head hurt.”    The answer made him chuckle and against his better judgement he pressed his lips to her forehead. “That’s your heartbeat, love. We can’t turn it off.”    “Then maybe just make it a tad bit quieter,” Y/N whispered back, life having returned to the girl’s form full force.    “How do you propose we do so?”    “I would say you moving a bit further away would be a great start. It’s not easy to keep my heart steady when the proximity of your face is making it beat faster.”    The boldness of the statement made Loki pull back and look into Y/N’s eyes.    “Am I making you nervous?” He gave the woman a confident smirk, but in truth, he was breathless to the point of being dizzy. The god’s brain couldn’t comprehend the fact she was being so honest and blunt about her feelings. That she could possibly reciprocate.    “You know,” her fingers squeezed his and Loki felt warmth rush through his veins, “for being the God of Lies you sure as hell are shit at spotting when people are desperately hiding their feelings, let alone acting as if they possess none.”    Loki’s mouth opened and closed like a fish’s out of the water. “You didn’t say anything,” was what he was able to come up with. If he could’ve, he would’ve facepalmed himself, but Y/N’s small laughter brought him back to reality right when her palm grasped around the collar of his green silken shirt and pulled him down.    Her lips moved against his in lazy pace, allowing the pair to enjoy and memorise every second of the sweet kiss. Only when Y/N broke them apart, taking a deep gulp of air did Loki realise what had just happened. And it made tears spring to his eyes.    “I thought I lost you,” he choked out, looking over at the woman whose joyful expression had morphed into that of a frown. “I thought I would have to go on with my life having been unable to confess, to kiss you. To show that I love you.”    Y/N’s hand moved to cup Loki’s jaw as she tenderly stroked his cheek with her thumb.    “Then from now on I want you to know- I love you Loki. And whatever happens, I’ll always pull through.” She smiled before pressing their lips together again. “After all, I now have one more reason to live.”    A faint smirk etched itself on Loki’s face as she wiped away one last tear. “And what is that, Princess?”    “You, my Prince.”
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A/N: tell me what you think :) sorry if there are any grammar or editing mistakes 
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sirkkasnow · 5 years
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09 Catch Your Breath When You Can
Ao3 link
07/17/13 Wednesday evening
Stan was shoulder deep in the Fairlane’s engine compartment when the kids finally made it home late that afternoon. Dipper waved and headed straight inside; Mabel came over to lean casually against the front fender. “So?”
“There’s a meatloaf in the fridge for dinner an’ we’ve got potatoes, and I guess the fixins for salad if you’re into that kinda thing.”
Mabel pressed both hands over her eyes and groaned in protest. “Nooooooo. I mean did you call her? Did you get to do your something nice whatever it was? You’ve gotta be almost done with the car!”
“Yep, almost done.” Stan straightened up with a sigh and latched the hood. “Gonna fire it up in the morning, see where we’re at. Probably a day, day an’ a half to finish up, then she’s free t’go.”
“You’re not just gonna let her walk out of here, right?” She was peeping out at him between fingers now, looking horrified. “I know you’d both regret it.”
Stan pinched his lips against a smile - his poker face was cracking. “Well, I maybe mighta lined up a flick after dinner. So if you could help keep the nerd brigade occupied that’d be great.”
Mabel produced a whistle-shrill hypersonic squeal of delight and flung herself at him for a hug. “I knew you could do it! Consider the nerd brigade well and truly distracted! You report to me on everything, got it?”
“Mabel, c’mon, it’s just a movie.” He was grinning anyway as he swiped down his hands.
The five of them gathered for what proved to be a noisy meal. One tiny nudge from Mabel was enough to derail the conversation into DD&MD worldbuilding. “Clary’s about to leave,” she said firmly, “she hasn’t gotten to play one game and we need to fix that.” Within fifteen minutes the rulebooks were scattered across the crowded kitchen table and both Ford and Dipper were talking scenarios and taking notes.
Clary had spent most of the afternoon napping. She looked crisp and refreshed, a froth of peony pink silk knotted off-center at her throat, tossing an occasional suggestion into the chaos. Mabel vanished for a minute or two as the plates were cleared. When she returned it was with arms full of scrapbooking supplies and an unsubtle jerk of the chin towards the living room.
Stan took the hint and slipped out unnoticed, setting up a dinette chair next to the recliner. He tracked down a couple of pillows and a light blanket to make the whole thing a little more comfortable. Clary showed up a few minutes later, hands in pockets, still smiling to herself. “I’ve been banished,” she murmured over the background conversation from the kitchen. “So they can surprise me in the morning.”
“Damn shame, too bad, movies are under the TV.” He punched the pillows in a mostly-futile effort to fluff them up as she knelt to sort through the cabinet. He’d tracked down the remote and gotten comfortable in the recliner by the time she waved a worn black-and-white cardboard sleeve at him: Captain Of Her Heart.
“Old-school okay?”
“Um. It’s mushy.”
“I can handle mushy.”
“It’s sad.”
“I can handle sad and I’m not in the mood for nature documentaries.” Clary slotted in the tape, fiddled with the channels until trailers for twenty-year-old New Releases! began to play, and collected a box of tissues before settling into her seat.
“You a crier?” Stan nudged her tissues with a knuckle and she gave him a dirty look.
“Insurance. Settle down.” Clary stacked pillows against the recliner’s back corner, propped her elbow on the arm near his and made herself at home. He’d seen this one a million times, an obscure classic in his opinion with some really good on-location seaside shooting for its era. Familiarity never seemed to make this one hit any less hard.
He found that it was hitting maybe a little harder than usual. The bookish harbormaster’s daughter and the rough-edged first mate she’d spent the last hour falling improbably in love with walked the shoreline under a spotlight moon, switching to closeup against a painted backdrop for their wrenching scene of farewell.
Stan stole a couple tissues while she wasn’t looking. Clary already had one clutched to her lips, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes in resolute silence. Maybe she was a bit of a crier after all, though she held it together pretty well through the last ten minutes or so.
Once the ship had departed and the harbormaster’s daughter had slipped down to the docks in the night, dressed in a man’s traveling clothes and bound for parts unknown, Clary blew her nose in an undignified honk. He would have teased her if he weren’t busy trying to do the same without her hearing him. At last she settled close to watch the brief credits. When the tape ran out and the screen went to static he grumbled and jabbed at the remote until the TV snapped off.
They rested together in the near-dark. Stan listened as the rhythm of her breathing steadied. “Good flick,” she murmured at length, in no apparent hurry to move.
“One of my favorites,” he admitted, equally quiet. “I did warn ya. If, ah, if it’d help, there’s a sequel...or I could maybe get Soos to write some kinda fix-it, he’s good at that fanfiction stuff….” He felt rather than saw the subtle shake of her head. “What, no?”
“It’d be cheating.”
“C’mon, now, there’s nothin’ wrong with chasin’ a happy ending - “
“They’re hard to catch.” He heard her swallow thickly and felt her shift to turn a little more into him. “Why the heck don’t you have a couch? I don’t want to move yet but this is uncomfortable as hell.” Stan considered bolting to leave her some privacy, then held his breath and wriggled his arm free to lay it lightly around her.
“This a little better?”
Clary drew up her legs and nestled into his side without hesitation. “Much.”
“So - we don’t have a couch because we didn’t need one until everyone was leavin’ at the end of last summer, anyway - “ He was cursing the lack of a couch right now, because the arm of the damned recliner was wedged between them and this would be a very nice post-movie snuggle without it. “I’m not sure Ford an’ I ever really thought we’d be back for more’n a quick visit. Soos hasn’t had time to update the place much.”
“You said you’d been running the Shack for thirty years. Alone?”
Stan hissed softly, dragging his free hand through his hair. “Yep,” he said just before the pause went beyond recovery. “More or less. Kids first visited last summer an’ that changed a whole lot.”
“From what I’ve gathered in town last summer was pretty lively.” He felt her smile against him. “Funny, no one really wants to talk about it.”
“It was, uh.” He groped for the right word and finally said, frustrated, “Weird.” Clary laughed softly. “Listen. I am not the one who should be givin’ pep talks, you get that? But I can promise that sometimes y’catch the happy ending.”
The house had gone quiet around them, the kids retreated to bed, Ford probably downstairs. Stan flinched in surprise as her cool hand covered his at her shoulder. “I’ll take your word for it,” Clary murmured. “And thanks. For today. Not everyone handles - “ She tugged at her silk scarf with a fingertip.
“We both got history, kid, I got no right t’pry.”
“I’ve been preemptively dumped over this, you know.”
“Hah! Just as well. You don’t strike me as the type t’date idiots.”
“No. I’m not.”
A minute or two drifted by like that, comfortable, the warmth of contact something he hadn’t slowed down to enjoy in an eternity. Stan had about found the perfect angle to pillow his cheek against her hair when she stirred. He rumbled in protest before he could stop himself, arm tightening for a second then relaxing as she sat up straight.
The wan wash of light from the hallway gilded the slope of her cheek; her shadowed eyes held a determined glint. “I’m in too good a mood to talk about ancient history, but I’d like to trade stories with you sometime.”
“Sure, but I don’t know when - “ She tilted her head in reproach and any further protest stalled in his throat.
“Stan. You made the fatal mistake of giving me your phone number.” Stan cracked a crooked grin and she went on, low-voiced and all velvet persuasion. “Let me know when you hit a port I can get to. Anywhere in the north Atlantic’s fine. If you end up someplace warm, like say Gibraltar or the Azores, so much the better. Drinks are on me.”
He almost barked out a laugh, a startled little huff like she’d just sucker-punched him. “You askin’ me out? Your treat?”
“Yes.” The practiced look of light amusement on her face faded by degrees into something more apprehensive. “If you’d like. I’d hate to never see you again.”
His brain locked up hard, spinning off into logistics and complications and the overwhelming desire to not fuck up the good thing he had going. Mercifully his mouth got out ahead, as usual. “Yeah. Definitely. I’d - really, really like that.”
She lit up in a split second of unguarded happiness for maybe the first time since they’d met. Clary leaned in too quickly to intercept, her lips grazing the stubble of his cheek as a fleeting whiff of her faded peony perfume curled into his nose. “Great. So would I.”
Stan’s hands twitched once with the sudden impulse to snag her by the waist and drag her into his lap before common sense shut that down. She couldn’t quite look him straight on as she withdrew and this time he laughed in earnest. “Oh, c’mon, counselor, y’can’t make a pitch like that an’ then go all shy on me.”
“Sure I can.” Clary’s fingers tightened in his, then slipped away as she rose. “I’d better go to bed before I say anything else incriminating. See you in the morning.”
“What, alone?”
“Stan.”
“It’s gonna be chilly, want me to drop off a couple extra blankets - “
“Stanley.”
“I got a sideline in personal furnace services - “
“Oh my god. Don’t make me regret saying anything.” The chuckle she was trying so hard to suppress laid a husky note under the words as she headed for the hallway.
“G’night, sweetpea.”
She slipped through the door with a last backward glance. He sat back to think it over, eyes closed, horrified and delighted all at once.
Mostly delighted, he decided, pressing fingers to his cheek where she’d kissed him.
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“I’d hate to never see you again.” She looks anxious, jittery with anticipation and a little sad all at once.
Definitely.
Maybe.
I just can’t.
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morphinedeity · 6 years
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Thunderstorm
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Pairing: Erasermic
Rating: T
Summary: Since the breakup, Shouta has been dealing with holding in his emotions. But when a horrible thunderstorm arrives in the middle of the night, and his anxiety kicks. How will he deal with it now that Hizashi isn’t around?
The bell chimes signaling the end of class, students filed out of the classroom heading back to their dormitory. Ashido looked behind her as she exited the classroom, she saw Shouta’s composure falter slightly but it was gone as soon it appeared. Uraraka noticed Ashido falling behind the group, she fell in step beside her. “What’s wrong?”
Ashido snapped out of her trance noticing Uraraka standing there. “Oh, I was just seeing how Mr. Aizawa was doing.”
“Oh right, he’s been strange for the past week.” Uraraka mentioned. “Now that you mentioned it, Present Mic hasn’t been around the dorm lately.”
“I heard they had an argument of some sorts.” Asui spoke up, she fell back with the two.
Ashido let out a gasp of excitement, her eyes sparkling. “Do you think Mr. Aizawa and Present Mic were dating?!”
“Would you shut the hell up!” Bakugou yelled out. “No one gives a shit about that!”
“Bakugou!” Iida scowled. “That is no way to speak to your classmate!”
“Like I care!” Bakugou stormed off, leaving the group behind.
They watched him leave, most likely heading back to the dorm. Asui broke the silence causing them to look at her. “It’s a possibility they’re a couple.”
“Why aren’t you back at the dorm?” Someone spoke up behind them. They looked up seeing Shouta standing there. “This isn’t a leisure hall, get back to the dorm before I give you all detention.”
They all yelled, “Yes sir” and scrambled out of the hall heading back to the dormitory before they got into further trouble with their teacher. Shouta watched them disappear around the corner he let out a sigh and headed towards the Teacher’s Lounge. He just wanted today to be done and over with, he just wants the entire month to be done.
He tried to keep his personal life from interfering with his work life but this week made it especially difficult. He knew the students noticed, if the conversation Ashido had minutes before wasn’t enough proof then his attitude this week sure was. He entered the lounge seeing that Nemuri was the only one there for the time being, the rest of the teachers were still in class or went home early.
“Oh, Aizawa.” Nemuri beamed when she looked up from her papers. “You just missed Yamada, he left ten minutes ago.”
“Not my concern now.” Shouta sat down at his desk, his eyes peeked over at the desk next to his. He’s not going to lie and say he didn’t miss the voice hero.
Nemuri sat on his desk preventing Shouta from working. “Look, I know that you and Yamada broke up a month ago.” This caused Shouta to finally look at her with a bored look. “It’s obvious that the two of you are miserable without each other.”
“Our personal life doesn’t involve you.” Shouta simply stated.
“It does when I see my two best friends are looking lost without their heart.” Nemuri bluntly put it. “Just talk to him, it’ll make you both feel better.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think it’s necessary.” Shouta told her.
Nemuri let out a frustrated sigh mumbling about men being difficult as she pushed herself off of Shouta’s desk and headed back to hers. Their conversation ended in silence, Shouta was grateful for it. He pulled out his papers and began to grade them.
Shouta didn’t arrive back to the dorms until an hour later, class 1-A were already sitting in the lounge area when he entered the building. They all looked up from the TV, they greeted him as he passed by heading straight to his room across the room. He came back out soon after asking the kids if they were hungry.
Dinner went on without any confrontation which lessen Shouta’s stress levels. Dishes were cleaned and put away when dinner ended, the kids bid their teacher goodnight and headed to their rooms upstairs leaving Shouta alone. He went over to the sofa and collapsed on it, pulling the blanket off the back and wrapped it around him. He turned the TV on changing the channel to find anything interesting until it finally landed on a movie. He had turned the lights off before he sat down leaving him encased in the dark with the TV being the only light source in the room.
His eyes were beginning to grow heavy with sleep, the sofa making Shouta comfortable. He pulled the blanket tighter around him keeping his eyes trained on the television. The movie was long over and replaced with the news, the meteorologist informed the viewers about an incoming storm that could produce hail and thunderstorms. Shouta didn’t hear anymore when sleep succumb him.
He jolted awake from a loud crash outside, he shot up from where his body collapsed during his sleep. The outside lights and television were out, they must have lost electricity while he was asleep. He was blanketed in total darkness and silence save for the harsh patter of the rain, another crack of thunder caused Shouta to jump. Thunderstorms always made him anxious where he sought out Hizashi for comfort but now he can’t do that when Hizashi is no longer with him.
A flash of lightning lit up the sky, the booming sound of thunder soon followed. The loud noise made an unsuspecting yelp escape Shouta’s lips, he pulled the blanket up to his chin hoping the weight of it will help calm him. The sound of the rain got louder, the wind began to pick up followed by of something hard hitting against the window. Shouta realized that sound was hail, he knew the storm was going to be horrible tonight but that still didn’t ease his anxiety.
Shouta jumped at the sound of something hitting against the door, he looked towards the door when the sound stopped but quickly started up again. He realized that someone was knocking on the door, he got up from the couch taking the blanket with him wondering who could be knocking at this time of night and in the middle of a storm no less. He reached the door and opened it, what was on the other side shocked him.
“Hizashi?” Shouta gaped at the gasping, soaking wet blond. “What are you doing here?”
Hizashi didn’t say anything, he was trying to catch his breath indicating that he ran over here from his own dormitory. Finally catching his breath, Hizashi straighten his back and looked over Shouta’s wrapped up form. “I came to see if you were okay.”
Shouta moved to let Hizashi in from the rain and hail, he closed the door behind them. “Why?”
“I knew you’re terrified of storms.” Hizashi turned to look the Erasure Hero. “The way you’re wrapped up in that blanket tells me that this storm is affecting you badly.”
Shouta moved closer, his hand coming out of the confines of his blanket, he placed it on Hizashi’s arm causing the blond to look down at the hand. “Let’s get you into some dry clothes.”
Shouta lit some candles that he found in the utility closet, he placed them on the desk in his room. He turned around seeing Hizashi had already replaced his wet clothes with dry ones. They stood there in silence, blanket Shouta had around him was laying on the bed where he dropped it in search for some candles. Now here they are, standing across from one another, not saying a word letting the silence blanket them. The flames dancing from the candles cast dancing shadows over their forms and on the walls.
“Why are you here?” Shouta finally said, the low tone was loud enough in the silent room causing Hizashi to look at him.
“I told you,” Hizashi explained. “I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“Cut the shit, Yamada,” Shouta narrowed his eyes, he knew Hizashi didn’t just come here to make sure he was fine during the storm. “Tell me the real reason.”
Hizashi’s smile faltered, he let out a sigh running his fingers through his damp hair. He knew Shouta would catch on but he wanted to see if he could get away with it without saying the real reason behind his unexpected visit. He sat down on the neatly made bed, his hands clasped together over his knees Shouta waited for him to explain.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Hizashi whispered, he leaned up and looked at Shouta. “I can’t take it anymore.”
Shouta sat down next to him, the blanket now folded in his lap. “Can’t take ‘what’ anymore?”
“Us.” Hizashi’s hands gripped his knees, his eyes taking on a sorrowful look. “I don’t want this breakup to continue on.”
Shouta was shocked over Hizashi’s words. He thought he was the only one taking their breakup rough, guess he was wrong. “You were the one who broke up with me because you said you didn’t love me anymore.”
“I lied.”
“What?” He was confused, why would Hizashi lie about that.
A sigh escaped Hizashi’s lips, his hands rubbed against his thighs in a nervous manner. “I don’t know how to explain it.” He looked at Shouta’s form. “It felt like I no longer loved you, but after the break up I felt relieved at first. I’m not going to lie to you about that, but-”
“But what?” Shouta leaned forward as if he would find the words written on his face.
“It didn’t feel right, it felt like something was missing in my life.” Hizashi finally went on, now he couldn’t stop the words flowing from his mouth. “I don’t know if it’s the fact that we’ve been together since graduating high school, or the fact I still love you than I originally thought.”
He kept his eyes trained on Shouta’s face trying to see if the Erasure Hero would lash out at him or something. He didn’t expect to see tears slowly make their way down Shouta’s face, he didn’t expect Shouta to be emotionally affected by this. He was about to say something, anything to make the tears stop but Shouta beat him to it.
“This month has been hell on me.” He wiped the tears from his eyes. “You know how hard it was for me to keep my composure and not let anyone see how bad the breakup affected me?” The tears began to fall more now, he kept wiping them away but they just kept coming in streams. “I kept it up for so long until this week, my students were even beginning to notice. It was matter of time before I actually broke down.”
Another crash of thunder filled the silence, the boom was so close and loud Shouta flinched as a yelp escaped him followed by a full on sob. He brought his hands up to his ears trying to drown out the loud booming of thunder that were becoming more frequent.
Hizashi watched Shouta’s shaken form slowly crumble with anxiety and emotions, he reached over, grabbed the blanket from the lap it was placed on and wrapped it around Shouta’s frame. He moved his body closer to the other male, he pulled him to his chest to make him listen to the steady beats of his heart. His hand reached up and stroked the black strands while his other rose the blanket over Shouta’s head and kept it there. His lips grazed the blanket where Shouta’s head should be, he whispered soothing words to him in hopes of calming him down.
They sat like that what seemed like hours but only a few minutes had passed. The storm was still raging outside but Shouta was finally calming down save for a few shaky breaths and the sniffling. They had moved from their sitting position to laying down on the bed curled around one another. The hand stroking Shouta’s hair had long stopped and was now resting within the soft curls.
Shouta moved to look up at Hizashi’s concerned face, his eyes puffy from the crying. Hizashi looked at him, giving him a sincere smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.” Shouta moved to lay his head back down on the blond’s chest. “I can’t believe I lost control like that.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Hizashi rubbed his back, he planted a kiss on top of his head. “This is nothing knew to me.
They laid there in silence with Hizashi soothingly rubbing his back. Shouta closed his eyes, he was exhausted and the wild emotions that he let loose didn’t help with that. “I missed you.”
The hand on his back stopped but started back up again. “I missed you too.” Came the whisper.
“I want you back.” The words were spoken in such a low voice that Hizashi almost missed them.
Hizashi pressed a smiling kiss to Shouta’s hidden head. “I want you back too, let’s forget about the breakup and start again.”
“Okay.” Shouta felt a small smile stretch across his face, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want this. But no one had to know, except for the people residing in the room they’re occupying.
He moved once more to get comfortable, his eyes were beginning to grow heavy with sleep. “Stay the night.”
“What about your students?” Hizashi began. “Aren’t you worried they’ll find out.”
“Don’t care.” Shouta mumbled out, he let out a quiet yawn. “Besides, I’m sure they already figured it out, damn kids are too smart for their own good.”
Hizashi let out a quiet laugh pulling the blanket over himself and moving Shouta closer to him. They laid there in silence listening to the harsh pattering of the rain and the booming of the thunder.
Hizashi moved out of the bed and blew the candles out and stripped off his pants, leaving him in his shirt and underwear. He crawled back in the bed where Shouta instantly snuggled up next to him, chuckling, Hizashi pulled his glasses off and placed them on the shelf on the headboard. He leaned down and planted on the slightly parted lips, he smiled when those lips chased after his before going back for more.
They parted once more this time for sleep. Hizashi gave one last kiss to the soft curls on top of Shouta’s head. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” Shouta mumbled, he burrowed into the blankets and Hizashi’s side. The white noise from the rain was soothing, he began to relax and his eyes started to close. The soft breathing coming from Hizashi helped lull him to a deep sleep, the storm a distant sound as he succumbed to the waiting arms of sleep.
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imhereforbvcky · 6 years
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Watch Me Run - Part 7
Masterlist  -  Series Masterpage  -  Part 6  -  Part 8
Summary: You inherit a family relic that gives you the gift of foresight but there are others who are interested for more nefarious reasons. You turn to the Avengers for help. (Bucky x reader… eventually. I love a slow burn okay?!)
Prompt: The nightmare comes frequently and at the same time every day - one day you manage to sleep peacefully only to be greeted with the morning news by a story of a gruesome murder. The victim is the same person that’d appeared in your dreams
Warnings: Light reference to murdery violence, probably swearing, the usual.
Word Count: 2993
A/N: Omfg this took me forever. I’m not even going to try to make excuses because they’re boring. I hope you enjoy despite the wait!
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Loki sat still and poised as a statue upon the steps of an office building around the corner from your apartment. Though still and silent, he looked on the verge of springing forward at any moment. One hand clasped the scepter anchored into the concrete at a forward angle, the other gripping the edge of the stair upon which he barely sat. His feet were flat on the steps, staggered beneath him as if already mid-stride. Apprehension read like a neon sign through his coiled position and focused attention.
As he waited, watching the corner with fist clasped tight around the scepter, his mind swirled with possibility, opportunity, and with doubt. The longer he waited for Stark’s driver to return, the more agitated he became. Old warnings echoing from the past like a cold sharp blade, cutting at the seams of his plans.
“If you fail… there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something sweet as pain.”
Imprisonment on Asguard had been a luxury compared to what followed. The wrath of the Mad Titan, as The Other had predicted, came as a tidal wave. Unrelenting and cruel.
Only Loki’s newly acquired knowledge of a curious sorcerer in Nepal had spared him. For now. This sorcerer held records of a talisman that contained a glowing green stone that gave its wearer visions of the future. According to rumor, in the right hands, the stone could be used to manipulate time itself.
A new deal was struck and Loki found himself with a new and simpler purpose: find the talisman, return it to Thanos and his previous failure would be undone. Forgiven. But Loki was never one to pass up an opportunity, and he saw opportunity at every turn.
A slighted ruler without a kingdom, his ambition devoured any thought of mere survival and reviled the reality of his servitude to a Mad Titan. This new and powerful trinket shone like a beacon before him as his chance to correct the failure of the past.
He slammed a fist on the steps beside him before rising to walk quickly toward your apartment. It had been too long. The driver should have returned by now with the stone, as he’d instructed. Loki knew with a burning frustration that you must’ve slipped away. The stone had eluded him again. Just as it had with the old man on the ranch. This particular trinket was proving more slippery than the others.
He’d been playing it safe so far, knowing that the longer his presence went unnoticed, the better his chances of collecting all the necessary pieces in this high stakes game. When he’d noticed the unmistakable opulence of a Stark vehicle parked outside your apartment, he’d opted for the less personal approach and had quickly taken control of the driver and directed him to collect the stone. When the driver never made it to the drop off, Loki moved to circle back for answers.
By the time he arrived on your block there were at least 5 police vehicles blocking off the street and one ambulance with doors flung wide. The paramedics ambled around the vehicle, unhurried and waiting. The yard was swarming with law enforcement as they slipped in and out of your door.
In the interest of moving unnoticed, Loki had embodied his best visage of the local attire - a crisp black suit, with a dark dress shirt beneath, transforming the scepter into a sleek black and silver cane. As he moved past the scene, looking like any other gawker, he gripped a patrolman by the bicep and pushed him behind the boxy crime scene truck.
Before the officer could speak or protest Loki demanded, “What did you see?” and quickly pressed the base of his palm to the man’s forehead.
In an instant the memory flashed in both the officer’s and Loki’s mind.
The living room was a disaster. Broken frames and chairs lay strewn across the floor, large holes in the wall from elbows or fists or lamps-turned-weapons. The bedroom seemed intact aside from a smear of blood across the wall where someone had stumbled against it.
The bathroom looked like a bad TV drama. The shower curtain had torn half off the rod. There was blood everywhere, a knife and a bloody sweater lay amidst the chaos. Crime scene techs reached with gloved hands to place small yellow numbered placards at particular points around the room.
Most prominent was the man taking up nearly all of the floor space. Sprawled across the blood-stained tile, with vacant eyes and a seeping hole in his forehead lay the driver. There were two sets of footsteps through the sticky congealing blood,  both leading out of the room; one set smaller with shorter strides.
“Looks like one male, one female left the scene,” he overheard a tech remark casually to a detective. “Guy took a beating before your kill shot. Defensive wounds all over. His knuckles are pretty cut up, and he ain’t small…”
“So whoever we’re looking for is going to be pretty roughed up, too,” the detective surmised.
The tech nodded in agreement and shrugged. “Unless they’re enhanced.”
Loki let out a frustrated huff through his nose; teeth clenched tight as he pulled his hand away and the officer’s memory faded. Before the patrolman managed to sort out what had just occurred, Loki was gone.
You had escaped with the talisman. His best opportunity to find you with it had been just barely too little. Now he would need more resources and more time. Time for you to make a mistake.
Dorothy Coleman lived comfortably in a modest home outside of D.C. She was a firm woman, observant and quick. The type of person who had spent her whole life working, who had seen enough of the world to know exactly the types of people who inhabited it. Anyone on the right side of her snap judgements found unyielding loyalty and generosity. She looked out for her own but dared not expect the same in return.
The pounding on the door of the hotel room beside hers at 4:30 in the morning accompanied by a man’s frustrated pleas were nothing she hadn’t heard before. She rolled her eyes as she glanced at the clock and groaned at the now constant ache in her spine as she turned in bed, listening.
“Y/N, c’mon open the door!” The voice demanded amidst the heavy knocking. “We’re leaving. Now!”
Snap judgements. Dorothy did not like this one. Anyone giving her orders like that would’ve been chased off her doorstep with a string of curses and a glare whose heat very few had ever learned to withstand.
Dorothy was traveling for work and the walls of this mass-produced chain hotel were thin. From the far end of the room she just barely heard a muffled reply.
“No! What if–what if you’re not yourself? What if you’re…?”
“Drunk?” Dorothy grumbled to herself, finishing the sentence with a roll of her eyes. “Sweetie, it’s 4:30 in the morning; that man can’t be anything but trouble.”
“Because I’d be in there already if I wasn’t,” the man in the hall answered. His voice was so loud seeping through the cracks around the door. So determined. And your voice had been so shaky and small. Dorothy knew that sound. Fear.
Without a second thought she rolled out of bed, pulled a robe tight around her and yanked her door open.
“Is there a problem here?” she snapped, glaring fire at Bucky. With one hand on the door her other anchored on a cocked hip she made a show of scrutinizing him from head to toe with an arched eyebrow and an unimpressed frown.
“Not at all ma’am, sorry to wake you,” Bucky tried to placate her with half a smile, not turning the rest of his body even the slightest bit away from your door.
Dorothy didn’t move. Her glare continued to burn into him. The silence simmered between them and pushed against him almost palpably. It pressed a weight on his chest that urged him away or at least to speak.
“I just forgot my key,” he finally lied. Relenting to the pressure of this nearly ordinary suburban woman. “My girl’s in there, she’ll let me in.”
“I think she’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want to let you in,” Dorothy insisted. She straightened her posture, one hand still firmly clenched around her own door handle lest this stranger turn on her. “Now, it’s 4:30 in the morning and you’re keeping us both up so I think you need to find other arrangements for the night.”
Bucky froze; staring at her for a long moment deciding what the hell he should do. He suppressed the first thought almost immediately. It was more of a reaction than a thought - procedural memory. It was the soldier’s training that told him she was an obstacle to be removed swiftly. In seconds he tried to reason that he needed only temporarily incapacitate her, needn’t hurt her badly. He didn’t want to hurt her at all. But he wasn’t charming like Tony and he wasn’t quick with a lie like Natasha.
In the seconds it took to cycle through his options you’d made your way to the door. Somehow every decision you made now seemed like it could potentially be your last. You could open the door to the gleaming blue eyes that would mean Loki had gotten to Bucky; that would mean your death. Or you could find the soft blue-grey that you so clearly needed. With shallow breaths you wrapped trembling fingers around the cold metal handle and pulled.
Bucky’s attention snapped back to your doorway and his arm pushed behind you to hold the door open, preventing any retreat away from him. Relief flooded your body momentarily like a warm drink on an empty aching stomach. Chasing the cold first from your shivering thoughts, then down your spine, sifting out to warm and calm every last muscle. The knot in your stomach loosened and you managed to breathe again.
All of the air rushed out of your lungs in a desperate sob as you thoughtlessly wrapped your arms around Bucky’s waist. You pressed your face against the rough fabric of his jacket. The zipper was cold and sharp on your skin, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. He was the only safety in your world at the moment and you thought you’d lost it all. The relief that he had found you and he was still himself was immeasurable and it far outweighed any sense of decorum.
Bucky glanced down at you for a moment with wide eyes, arms hovering in the air as he tried to reconcile your reaction. You’d been rightly suspicious and hesitant to open the door. He’d expected the apprehension to give way to anger over having been left on your own on the train. He’d come ready for an argument. Instead you were clinging to him like a frightened cat, fingers digging into the fabric at his back.
He glanced briefly at your neighbor for the night who stood watching the exchange carefully, unconvinced. Bucky’s arm eased gently around your shoulders as he tried to guide you back into the room. He needed you ready to move, and this was not going to work.
But Dorothy Coleman wasn’t giving in so easily.
“Miss, I… I can see you’re upset, but can I talk to you a moment?” she asked you gently. “Just us ladies?” She offered a warm smile and nodded her head back toward her door.
You glanced at Bucky quickly, looking for an answer but his face was stone. This woman was a loose end. If the pair of you left her unsatisfied and paranoid, she could call the police, complicate Bucky’s plan to disappear.
“O–okay,” you stammered and followed her into the relative privacy of her room. Bucky watched with apprehension as he weighed his options.
She sat you down on the end of her bed and took your hands. With concern in her eyes and seriousness in the stiffness of her features, she angled herself toward you.
“Honey, are you alright?”
You weren’t sure how to answer that. Dorothy’s observant gaze fell over the dark bruise erupting across your chest from the knee of Tony’s driver. Now, more than half a day later it was approaching the height of its saturation. It looked fresh and dark. She’d no doubt seen the blood drying in dark mats in the back of your hair while your face was buried in Bucky’s chest.
Between the wounds and Bucky’s pounding on your door, you knew exactly what conclusions this woman had drawn.
“I’ll be okay,” you tried your best to sound convincing. You were never a good liar.
“You don’t have to go with him,” she urged you. “There are resources, people who can help you get out. I can take you somewhere.”
“No, no,” you insisted, searching for any lie that would work and coming up empty. You were too stressed, too exhausted, too scared. The truth would have to do. “He’s helping me get out. I just met him and I’m a little leary of strangers.”
Dorothy nodded. She understood what that felt like but wasn’t wholly convinced. “If you’re sure?”
“Yes, Bucky’s helping me get away from…” you stopped short as you happened to glance at the bedside clock.
4:42am. The cold panic returned. It crept a slinking path up your spine, seizing every muscle along the way until your lungs tightened and you took in a sharp, desperate breath. In the dream you’d woken at precisely 5am and found the hotel manager already dead in the elevator, and in seconds Loki had closed in on you.
It was all different now. Unlike your dream, you were already awake, Bucky was here. But the time glared at you like a road flare, blinding and hot, screaming “Danger! Stay Away!”
“He’s–he’s coming…” you muttered as you turned back to Dorothy with a horrified and distant stare. “I have to go, right now. Lock your door. Don’t come out no matter what you think you hear!”
“I think I should call the police.” Her forehead wrinkled as you devolved into fear and she rose to reach for the phone.
“No!” you begged her, wringing your hands. “He can control them all I’m leaving now. You–you just stay in your room. If you see him… stay out of his way. He’s tall, dark hair, looks… you’ll know if you see him.”
“Even if he has the local police in his pocket, he doesn’t have any power over me.” Even if she couldn’t help you, you were grateful for this woman. She was so resolute, so bold. It gave you confidence. “I’m not from around here, that man ca–”
“He will kill you,” you interrupted, enunciating each word with an unwavering look straight in her eyes, “if you get in his way.”
She stopped speaking and only looked at you with renewed worry as you backed to the door. While you stepped through the threshold you turned back to her with imploring softness.
“Please.”
Dorothy Coleman sat for a long moment on the end of the bed, staring at the hotel room door. There had been nothing more to say as you slipped out, returning to the man with the metal fist who’d woken you both at 4:30 in the morning with his insistent pleas and harsh knocking on the flimsy aluminum door.
With restless fingers, she fidgeted over the loose button at the bottom of her sleeping shirt. Her gaze lingered on the yellowing hotel phone on the nightstand while she contemplated whether to call the authorities. Your warning weighed heavy on her mind, so she remained locked in place. The indecision eating at her as she heard the quick sound of footsteps moving swiftly away from her door.
She moved to the window and parted the curtains only enough to peer out into the dark quiet of the early morning. The tall streetlights in the parking lot made eerie yellow halos in the icy morning mist. Dense forest and thick underbrush met the edge of the pavement and immediately swallowed the swirling glow.
Just as she was about to turn away, you burst forth into the light of the entrance at the far end of the hotel. Bucky stood before you and paused a moment. Positioned carefully with you well behind him, his gaze swept the area before he plunged the both of you into the shadows with an unrelenting grip around your hand.
The flash of blue light out of the corner of her eye had not been warning enough for the violent pulse that radiated beneath her feet half a second later. The force rattled the water glasses on the dresser and shook the cheap reprinted art hanging in lightweight frames on the wall. The window warbled under the force of the vibration and Dorothy staggered back in fear.
Even as she stumbled backward until her knees hit the bed her eyes remained focused on the window. She had lost sight of the pair of you the moment she felt the force reverberate through the thin hotel walls. Whatever it was stole all of her attention and collected all of her fear into a central driving need.
With trembling hands and quaking knees, Dorothy reached for the hotel phone and dialed 911. She could no longer afford to hope it was the right call; she had to believe it would be. Uncertain what thunderous hell you had brought down on yourself, she knew that one man sweeping you into the pre-dawn shadows couldn’t possibly be enough to escape it.
Part 8
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yminie · 7 years
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kitten | min yoongi (m)
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pairing: Yoongi x Reader genre/warnings: smut, daddy!kink, rough(ish) sex. words: 11.4k summary: Yoongi’s focus on work has subjected your relationship to having a dry spell, and with a little prompting from your best friend, you tell him exactly what he should do. But you don’t make the rules kitten, and the game you’re choosing to play is a dangerous one.
"It's been how long?!" You winced at your best friend Jennie's pitch, tilting your head away from her slightly as she continued to comically gape at you, mouth open to complete the look.
"Um, three months... nearly?" You carefully regarded her as a multitude of emotions crossed her face, finally settling on confusion.
"Why in the world have you not had sex in three months? Is something wrong?" She briefly glanced down at your lower half and you crossed your arms over your stomach quickly, shaking your head.
"No! God no, we just haven't." Her brows pulled together.
"I know you girlfriend, you and Yoongi used to barely be able to keep your hands off each other. What's changed?" You shrugged carefully. "Is he not... performing properly?"
"It’s not quite like that he just..." You sighed deeply and leant back against the armrest, wrapping your fingers around your cup of coffee, trying to find words to say. "He doesn't want to." If she raised her brows any higher, they'd disappear into her hair and you quickly mumbled in Yoongi's defence. "Like; he's always too tired, some nights he doesn't even get home before I go to sleep. He's been running himself into the ground trying to produce this new album."
She watched you rub between your brows for a moment, quietly processing what you'd said with a gentle nod of her head. You knew she understood, considering she'd been going through similar things with Namjoon for a while now. She'd always understood the life of dating an idol. "Joon was talking about this the other night. He's been trying to convince Yoongi to leave when he does but the boys stuck to his chair in that studio. Have you mentioned this to him at all?" You shook your head.
"Last time I tried to bring up work with Yoongi it ended in that huge fight. We nearly broke up, and it's just fighting a losing battle. He's so talented and I'm so happy for him that he gets to do what he loves but I just," you huffed slightly, feeling your face heat up with emotion, "I-I just wish he'd take care of himself. Or at least let me help him. I live in his apartment for free because he refuses to accept my money, not to mention he doesn't want me to work even though it's only a casual job."
Setting your cup down on the table, you tucked your feet underneath yourself, snuggling further into the blanket draped across the two of you. She leant over to rest her head on your arm, bringing a hand up to pat yours in sympathy.
"I mean I love that he wants to provide for me and everything, but I feel useless just hanging around here all day. It honestly feels like I live here by myself. Considering the fact that there have been nights where I don't see him come home and I get up in the morning only to find that he's already left for training. Sometimes the only clue I get to show he's been home at all is dirty clothes in the basket and dishes in the sink." You sniffled carefully, refusing to let the tears well over as she continued to comfort you, rubbing a hand gently over your arm.
"Maybe just try to catch his attention and find a way to talk about this. He can't ignore how you feel, especially if it's making you this upset. Do you want me to ask Joon to talk to him about it?" You shrugged, shaking your head wearily.
"I don't know if that's the best idea. I would like to talk to him about things but it's just so hard to bring stuff like this up. Especially when he's barely home to talk to." She nodded slowly.
"How about you try and talk to him tonight and if it doesn't work we'll see if Joon can convince him to take some nights off. They're way ahead for schedule anyway." You nodded, giving her a watery smile as you blinked away the remaining moisture in your eyes. She pulled out her phone and typed a quick message happily before dropping it next to her.
"You're in luck? The studios building is closed for maintenance tonight so they're finishing early. They'll be here in about twenty minutes hopefully." She faced you straight on. "As for this sex nonsense," she rolled her eyes jokingly, pulling a chuckle from you, "we need to find something sexy for you to wear to bed tonight." She wriggled her eyebrows at you suggestively and the chuckle turned in to a full-blown laugh.
"Seriously? Am I talking to him tonight or seducing him?" She pulled you from the blanket pile on the couch and dragged you into your bedroom, grinning evilly.
"Why not both? Boys are always more willing to give you what you want after sex. You could tell them just about anything if it's after a good session." Her wink made you cringe, laughing again, and she pulled open your underwear draw, digging through and pulling out various lacy items and throwing them on the bed.
"Hey! I spent time organising those neatly. Be careful!" You caught another piece of lace flying through the air before turning back to her only to find her holding the skimpiest, laciest black bodysuit you owned – one you'd never quite had the courage to wear – with an absolutely shit eating grin on her face. "Are you kidding?"
"Come on! This is so hot!" You shook your head so hard you could swear your brain rattled inside your skull.
"Hell no! I'm not that desperate! Pick something else, or better yet let me pick something instead – considering they're my clothes!" She laughed, watching you gather all the bits off the bed before snagging the bodysuit from her hand and pushing it all back into the drawer.
"You never know when it could come in handy~" she sang, wiggling her fingers toward the drawer again and you quickly pushed it closed before she could snag something else.
"Yoongi's not really like that though," you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, "I know he probably likes that sort of stuff but I’m usually a lot more simple." She crossed her arms, looking at you in doubt, a smirk on her lips.
"How about we try things your way and if they don't work, we dig that bodysuit out of your little draw of secrets and try things my way." You grit your teeth and nod silently, not missing the shit-eating grin making another appearance on her face. Rolling your eyes as she clapped her hands happily, you opened the drawer to dig out a cute bralette set holding it up for her eyes to see before snagging one of Yoongi's shirts from his drawer. She nodded, still looking doubtful but you didn't care.
Throwing the clothes onto the bathroom bench, you faintly heard the front door open and a murmur of conversation trail into the lounge room. Jennie trailed out of the room before you, immediately being swept up in a hug by Namjoon as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, greeting each other sweetly. Yoongi had already disappeared into the home studio before you appeared, and you could hear him rattling around and unplugging things. Namjoon spotted you over the top of Jennie's head and put an arm out to give you a quick one-armed hug as you walked towards them. "Hey, ___ how you doing?"
"Yeah, good, yourself?" He nodded jerkily before looking up as Yoongi appeared through the door, laptop and multiple hard drives in hand as he tried to balance them all while clicking away at the keyboard.
"Good! Yeah..." You all slowly turned to look at Yoongi as he continued to search through his computer for whatever he was looking for before they both awkwardly looked back to you.
It took a moment but Yoongi finally lifted his gaze from the screen with a quick "Aha! There it is..." Before finding you with his eyes. "Oh hey jagi! See this here Namjoon-ah, this was what I couldn't find because..." He started rattling off words quickly, many of them technical that neither you nor Jennie bothered to try and understand and Namjoon quickly walked around to stand next to him, leaving his gaze on you for a moment longer before giving Yoongi his attention again, humming in agreement as he continued to babble.
"Still not that desperate? You're gonna need all the help you can get to pry that laptop from his fingers." Jennie whispered, rubbing her hands together uncomfortably and you knew she could feel the tension emitting from you towards the brick wall that was Yoongi's attention span to anything other than work.
"Nope. Not that desperate..." You murmured, settling yourself back on the couch, tuning out the conversation between the boys and focusing your attention back onto the TV.
__________
"Definitely not that desperate." You mumbled under your breath, turning your head and twisting to ensure you looked good from every angle, the bralette and panties still fit you well, thin enough and lacy enough to show a teasing amount of skin without being overly suggestive. It was comfortable at least. Finally throwing the large tee over your head, you quickly unlocked the bathroom door, slipping back into the bedroom quietly only to find it empty as usual. On a normal night you would just climb into bed and fall asleep waiting for Yoongi to come join you, but you wanted tonight to be different.
Crossing the living room quietly, you were unsurprised to hear an unfamiliar mix of beats start up, meaning he was mulling over yet another new set of lyrics. Quietly knocking on the door you gently swung it open only to find the back of his head facing you, headphones wrapped around to each ear and head smoothly bobbing along with the beat. You knew he wouldn't be able to hear you over the music going through the headphones let alone over his own mumbling as he scribbled lyrics messily across the notepad at his side.
You'd almost changed your mind, deciding it would just be easier to go lay in bed and hope he'd appear, but you knew that wasn't the case. So instead you continued into the room, pausing to stand behind his chair for a moment before leaning forward to hesitantly place a hand on his shoulder.
Yoongi didn't miss a beat, unflinching, and he briefly paused his writing to move the headphones back from his ear to hear you whilst still keeping the sound close. "Need something, jagiya?" His pen returned to the paper, scribbling out words and adding new ones in and you almost wanted to rip the damn pen from his fingers.
"Um, yeah, are you coming to bed soon? You've worked a lot today." He turned to look up at you in light confusion, letting his pen drop before finally moving the headphones all the way down to hang around his neck. You'd never really interrupted his home studio time before so you understood why he was surprised by your sudden appearance.
"I'm just finishing up some last minute things before I turn in. Shouldn't take me too long, an hour maybe?" He shrugged glancing back at the track and drawing your gaze to the computer screen. You may not produce music, but you'd learnt enough from being with him to be able to see that he'd only just started a new track and chosen the base beats.
"Just finishing up a song or starting yet another new one that could probably wait until tomorrow?" His gaze flickered back to you and if you could eat your words you would. He went as far as to turn his chair and grab you by the waist, pulling you closer to rest his chin on your stomach, looking up at you worriedly.
"Is everything okay? Why do you look so upset?" You shook your head, still staring at the screen, too nervous to look directly at his face. He noticed this immediately and shook you gently, drawing your attention back to him. "Hey," the hands on your waist pulled you even closer and down into his lap, a hand coming down to pull your legs up until they draped over his thighs, "talk to me."
"I just miss you Yoongi." You sighed, letting your head drop to lean on his shoulder as you let his familiar scent surround your senses as he let his chin rest on top of your head. "I don't see you much anymore." The last part was almost as quiet as a whisper but he still caught it, immediately pulling his head back and searching your expression with a sigh.
"It's my job, jagiya, you know I'm busy." You studied the dark circles under his eyes sadly, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek and his eyes fluttered shut as he leant into your palm.
"Too busy for me?" He sagged slightly in his chair as his eyes dragged back open in agitation, staring at you tensely for a moment.
"Don't take it there ___, you know this is my life." You could tell he was exhausted, which only meant he was even more susceptible to getting angry very quickly.
"I'm not taking it anywhere, I swear. I'm not here to fight with you." You let your hands smooth down from his shoulders to rest on his chest as you leant in, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Yoongi's hands brushed down to rest just below your hips, squeezing firmly as your kisses went first down then back up his neck, finally peaking over his chin to catch his lips with your own. He hummed lowly in response to your kiss, bringing both arms up to wrap around your waist and pull you tightly against his chest, your fingers tangling slightly in the hairs at the nape of his neck.
Slipping your leg across his lap, you settled one leg either side of him on the chair, straddling his thighs as you deepened the kiss, feeling his hands clench the fabric of your shirt in his hands, a soft moan breaking in your throat and your back arching. His lips broke from yours in a gasping breath before meeting your skin again, kissing along your jaw until he reached your ear, nipping carefully as you sighed in pleasure.
His hands quickly slipped underneath your shirt to meet your sides, scraping his short nails gently along your skin, causing goose bumps to rise to the surface and you shivered under his grip. Your hips automatically began to grind down onto his and your head rolled back in satisfaction, feeling him begin to slide the fabric up to reveal your underwear. His hands on your skin, finally, felt amazing...
Almost amazing enough that you could almost ignore the buzzing of his phone, the ringtone he had set for work quickly making an obnoxiously loud appearance. He quickly pulled back from your embrace, leaning around you in an attempt to search for his phone and you couldn't help but push yourself closer to him, trying kiss him again. "Ignore it Yoongi. Please." He chuckled but otherwise ignored you and your attempts to pull his attention back to you, pushing far enough forward that you had to slip back off his lap sooner than fall.
You gave it a final chance, slipping your hand over his as he finally located and grabbed his annoyingly incessant little device. "Yoongi, they can wait." All traces of amusement left his expression and he threw you a sharp look, tugging his hand from your hold.
"____, that’s enough." You winced as his tone cut through the air harshly and you quickly turned on your heel to slip from the room in embarrassment. His rejection stung yet you tried your hardest to hide how emotional you were really becoming. Yoongi said nothing but you could feel him watching as you left, the only sound a heavy sigh as he slumped back into his chair and answered his phone.
It wasn't until a few hours later that he finally dragged himself from the studio; feet sliding across the carpet of your bedroom and pushing the blankets back to expose his side. You said nothing as you rolled further onto your side to watch him as he sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing at his face exhaustedly. You brought yourself up to lean on your elbow, continuing to study him as he climbed under the covers.
Yoongi rolled until he faced you and you both silently regarded each other for a moment before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier." He grabbed your hand in his own and bashfully played with your hand, fiddling with the ring on your finger. "You didn't deserve to be spoken to like that, I don't know what came over me..." You laced your fingers between his before sliding across the sheets to rest your head against his chest, his arm wrapping around your shoulder to pull you closer.
"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it." You went quiet for a moment, relishing in the feeling of his fingers gently running over your shoulder, softly tickling the skin. "This is the first time I've seen you in bed for a while you know." He tensed slightly before you felt him nod.
"I know it is, I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. I'm just trying to get as much of this album done as soon as possible so I don't have to worry about it later." You hummed in response, untangling your hand from his to slip it underneath his shirt, gliding over the bare skin of his stomach. He relaxed further under your touch, bringing his hand up to tuck behind his head and looking down at you. "I kind of lose myself when I start to write, you know that."
"I just wish you'd let me help you take care of yourself. You know I'd never pull you away from working on something important." You waited for him to nod before you continued. "I just feel like I don't exist in your world sometimes."
His face pinched slightly and he brought a hand up to grab your chin firmly, pulling your face to his and pressing a kiss to the side of your lips. "I'm so sorry jagi." You leant into his touch as you turned your head to meet his lips with your own. The kiss lasted a few moments before he interrupted it, pulling back far enough to whisper to you, "I missed you too, beautiful." He connected your lips again, pulling a soft moan from you as he deepened the kiss.
You pushed yourself closer to him, nails lightly digging into his hip as his tongue slid across your lower lip to be met with yours, his hand dropping from your chin to slide down your thigh before pulling your leg to drape over his hips. Your inner thigh was met with his hardening length and you purred lowly, pressing your leg down over it until he hissed, the kiss breaking for you to stare at each other darkly.
The pause was only momentary before you launched yourself over him, pulling at his lips with yours desperately and sucking his lower lip into your mouth as you crawled over him and straddled his hips, hand under his shirt pushing the fabric up until it bunched around his chest. Yoongi's back arched as your nails dragged across his skin and you met his groan with a sigh, unconsciously rolling your hips against his and whimpering happily at the pleasure spiking in your core.
Your determined attempts however, were cut short as he pulled away from you jerkily, pausing your movements as his jaw opened widely in a yawn, and your hope faded into concern as his eyelids drooped further. 'He's going to pass out from exhaustion,’ you thought as he went to grab your hips again, but you stopped his hands with yours, instead bringing one up until you could brush his knuckles with your lips. He could only watch, regretfully smiling at you, as he melted back into the pillow while you crawled over and onto your side of the bed again.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Yoongi's mouth dropped open again as he yawned into his palm a second time and you chuckled, turning until your back faced him and letting him pull you into his chest as he spooned you lazily.
"It's fine baby, just get some rest." He hummed in reply, pushing his face into your hair and breathing deeply. Barely a minute passed before you could faintly hear his light snoring start, and you smiled disappointedly to yourself before letting your own eyes close.
__________
The first thing you noticed when you woke up the next morning was that you were much warmer than usual, and it took you a moment to realise that it was because Yoongi was still wrapped around you, head stuck to your chest as he contentedly snored into your breasts and his arms wrapped completely around your waist. It was so out of the ordinary you couldn't do anything but stare for a moment, smiling at the way his soft cheeks squished together and his lips parted cutely with every breath.
Reaching your hand up to the bedside, you grabbed your phone to check the time as your hand came up to run through his hair gently and you froze as you stared at the clock on the screen. Yoongi's comeback prep regularly and for the past 2 years had always begun at 8:30am unless otherwise stated and Namjoon typically came at 8:00 with the other boys to pick him up. The time 7:56 glared at you from the screen and your eyes flickered to Yoongi's – still peacefully sleeping – form in panic and back before you finally brought yourself to grab his shoulder, dropping the phone into the bed sheets. "Yoongi!"
He grumbled in sleepy agitation before pushing his face further into your chest, ignoring your hand shaking his shoulder as he attempted to go back to sleep. "Yoongi, wake up!"
"What?" He grunted, untangling his limbs from yours and rolling over to his side, face smushed into the pillow.
"You're late to work babe!" His head shot from the pillow and he stared at you with one eye open as he thought about what you'd said. Barely 3 seconds passed before you then watched him move the fastest you'd ever seen. Shooting up from the bed to rush into the closet, snatching whatever clothes he could find before bustling through to the shower, his dirty clothes flying across the room as the water started up. A faint knock on the front door sounded and he cursed loudly from inside the shower.
"Jagi, go tell him I'll be out in a second please." You nodded even though he couldn't see you and quickly got out of bed, rushing through the living room as you pulled on a pair of shorts. Pulling open the door you were met with a very sleepy Jungkook and he smiled at you shyly, rubbing the back of his head.
"Morning, Noona. Is Yoongi-hyung okay? He wasn't waiting outside and he hasn't answered his phone." You nodded, inviting him inside.
"He woke up late but he'll be out of the shower shortly." You told him to sit as you turned on the coffee maker, the smell of fresh coffee filling the room as you turned on the TV. "Did Namjoon send you up? They're waiting I assume?" Jungkook nodded, watching the cartoon that appeared on the screen distractedly.
"Yeah it's just us this morning though, the others are going to the dance studio today." You nodded at his reply, ducking your head into the studio to spot Yoongi's phone, quickly grabbing it – luckily for him – from the charger. You grabbed his portable charger and bag from the lounge in there before returning to the living area, hearing the shower turn off as you dropped his stuff on the couch.
Jungkook smiled to himself whilst watching silently as you moved around the kitchen, pouring Yoongi a cup of his favourite coffee in his special insulated tumbler and double-checking his keys and laptop were in his bag. Following them with the stack of USB’s he'd left on the table as the man himself stumbled through the door, hopping on one foot as he desperately tried to get his left shoe on. He paused for a moment and stared at you in grateful disbelief as you held out his coffee and bag, rushing over to sweep you up in his arms momentarily and press kisses to your face, making you giggle lightly. He grabbed both items from your arms and motioned for Jungkook to leave with him. He'd almost made it through the door before you caught his attention again.
"You'll be freezing later, it's coming into winter Yoongi. Take your hoodie!" You snatched the jumper from the back of one of the dining chairs, skipping across to hook it over his arm and he chuckled, grabbing your chin to kiss you again.
"My little lifesaver, I'll see you later okay?" He stroked your cheek gently before finally rushing through the door, Jungkook hot on his heels pausing briefly to shoot you a smile.
"He's lucky to have you." You raised your eyebrows at the young man as he flashed his teeth at you sheepishly, you grinning back at him, before jogging lightly after Yoongi. "Good to see you, Noona!"
"Bye, Kook! Have a good day you two." You watched them climb into the elevator and Yoongi turned to press the button, lifting the tumbler towards you.
"So good!" You laughed as he drank eagerly, the doors closing on them while Jungkook waved sweetly from behind his hyung and you shook your head in amusement, turning back into the apartment. Sure, you'd made no progress with the sex side of your relationship but you already felt a lot better than you did yesterday.
__________
"So you almost had sex twice? But both times were interrupted?" Jennie stared at you over the rim of her coffee cup in disappointment and you nodded glumly.
"Basically." You shrugged, toying with the sugar packets in front of you, the cafe you both regularly visited was quiet today. The sparse scattering of patrons largely being college students and the occasional elderly person giving it a calm atmosphere, along with your favourite chairs being the old armchairs in the corner. It was all very homey; a nice break from the four walls you lived within.
"I would've smashed Joon's phone if I was in your situation. I'd never survive 3 months high and dry. I mean Namjoon and I barely go two days without some kind of-" you made a gag noise and she smirked up at you.
"Please spare me the unnecessary details. I don't want to think about that." Jennie laughed before lowering her voice back to normal.
"I'm surprised you let him go the second time though. I mean you could've done the work, I know you'd have to have stamina in those legs after being with him for so-" you balked, throwing multiple sugar packets at her head as she laughed loudly, shielding her face from the onslaught and rousing looks from the other customers sitting closest to you.
"Can you not?" You hissed, "God, you're too open for your own good." She shook her head as her giggles died down, clearing her throat and standing from her seat. You followed her out of cafe, waving in goodbye to the owners as you slipped through the door.
"So you still don't think you're desperate enough for my ideas?" You thought back to the way you felt this morning, just days after Yoongi and his unscheduled sleep in, and remembered the way you woke up, again, with a particularly insistent ache between your thighs and your boyfriend nowhere in sight.
"Well do you have any ideas other than that god-forbidden lingerie? Because I'm not quite up for that." She raised her eyes brows at you cheekily.
"Do I have ideas? Oh honey, don't forget who you're talking to here." She ignored your eyes rolling and laced her arm around yours to huddle together, the both of you trailing down the frosty footpath, slowly finding your way back to her car.
Once you were inside the vehicle, heater blaring and fingers slowly defrosting in the gusts of warm wind shooting through the vents, she turned back to you. "Yoongi's not a hyper active person right? He's quite calm, and he concentrates well on his music; good for Bangtan, bad for you. I honestly feel like your best bet isn't trying to get his attention. It's grabbing him by the balls and making him pay attention."
"And how do I do that?" You were amused, raising an eyebrow doubtfully.
"Well, I'm not sure. What do you guys normally do?" She smirked again.
"What do you mean?" She rolled her eyes at your furrowed brows and turned her body until she fully faced you, leaning closer to you and leaning an elbow on the centre console.
"When you and Yoongi have sex, what kind of sex do you have?" Your mouth dropped open and you struggled to find something to say, eyes widening at her brashness. "I know you don't like talking about it but I need to know girlfriend." You sputtered as you finally found your tongue again.
"You need to know?" She shrugged.
"You're the one that wants help. I can help better if I know more." You took a deep breath before you answered her original query.
"We just... Have sex?" She stared at you, amused, and waited for you to say more. "I don't know! We don't really do anything out of the ordinary." She leant back into her chair again, tapping against the steering wheel.
"Have you guys ever talked about kinks? Wanting to try something different?" You shook your head, deep in thought, and she cleared her throat to get your attention.
"Namjoon and I ¬– and I know you think it's awkward to talk about, but, bear with me – when we first got together we didn't talk about sexual things or discuss stuff we wanted to try. And over time the sexual drive sort of fizzed out, but we were open about it and talked about things we were curious to test out and since then the sex just got better and better. Maybe you and Yoongi should talk about it." You blushed heavily just thinking about that sort of conversation, even with Yoongi. You had no clue how she expected you to talk to him about it.
"How do I even bring that sort of shit up though? That's so uncomfortable!" You whined childishly.
"We can always find stuff out another way? But something tells me you won't like this idea either." Your brows furrowed as she reversed from the parking space.
"How?" She bit her lip and stayed silent, eyes flicking between the road and you cheekily. "Jennie, how?"
"Let's go visit my lovely boyfriend. He got home early today." Your head shook frantically but she ignore your protests, continuing her course to their apartment complex.
And so you found yourself sitting across from the two of them, refusing to look anywhere other than at the fibres of the rug in middle of their living room, tapping your toes gently on the fabric as Jennie reiterated the situation to Namjoon.
"So, I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask you if... Yoongi's ever mentioned anything?" You heard Namjoon chuckle and your cheeks were quick to heat up in embarrassment, silently begging to be sucked into the cushions of the couch and into oblivion. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.
"I mean he's never directly told me if he's had problems with way you two... do things." Your gaze shot to his face, finding him already looking at you with light amusement. "But I can tell you he definitely has a darker side. When we were younger, before he met you, he would talk about all manner of things." Jennie leant forward in curiosity, silently gesturing for him to reveal more and he grinned, nudging her as he continued. "Well I don't want to say too much, but some of the stuff he'd talk about even made me raise my eyebrows. And I'm not exactly vanilla." You laughed through your embarrassment, burying your face in your hands and Jennies tinkling laugh joined yours.
"Okay, I get it." Namjoon shrugged with a chuckle and smiled at you in that same cheeky way Jennie does. Who influences whom in that relationship?
Namjoon retired to his home studio and Jennie drove you home, breaking the lull in conversation as she pulled into the parking lot. "Tonight... I want you to try something." You groaned at her words, hitting your head back against the headrest of the car seat.
"What? Please don't put me up to something grotesquely explicit." She shook her head with a laugh, staring out into the lot as she continued.
"It's only light, trust me. Tonight, when he gets home, don't give him the option to choose between you and work. Tell him what to do." You frowned.
"Like... talk dirty?" She nodded.
"From past conversations I've had with Joon and from what I gathered today, I don't think he'll be opposed to it." She shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt to wear that bodysuit either. I dunno, give it your best try. At the end of the day, he's not some stranger; he's your boyfriend and he loves you. You just gotta... remind him that he doesn't pull rank some times." She chuckled and you thought about what she'd said, climbing out of her car. "Good luck! Let me know if you get laid! We're rooting for you!" She threw you a wink and you face palmed as you waved her off, chuckling in semi disgust.
Her laugh echoed softly in the half empty lot, and you watched her depart as you stood waiting for the elevator, nodding to yourself in reassurance. "Talk dirty... okay."
__________
Your afternoons typically went by pretty fast, but today seemed to drag on. The clock only seeming to tick slower when you thought about your conversation with Jennie earlier. After careful deliberation you'd reluctantly settled on 'What the hell have I got to lose.'
Finally deciding to give in, you'd cringingly pulled the lacy black demon out of your draw, staring at it for some time before eventually putting it on, after which you'd spent the majority of your time spinning in the mirror and inspecting every angle. As much as it made you cringe, you had to admit it looked good. And it was something Yoongi would never expect, considering he had no clue you even owned a piece of lingerie like this.
After the third wipe down of the kitchen counters and yet another load of washing done, you admitted defeat, pulling out your phone and texting Yoongi.
What time are you getting home tonight? x
Your fingers hovered over Jennies name in your text messages for a moment before you clicked into the thread, typing out a message to her as well.
Plan is a go. I put it on.
Her reply was immediate.
Jennieee: wtfffff yes girl. Show me!!
You frowned but gave in nonetheless, girly instinct for your best friends approval winning over nervousness. Snapping a quick photo, you quickly pulled your dress down and sent it through before you could chicken out and stare at the picture too long. She must have been waiting for you because as soon as the photo sent it was seen. The little bubble box popped up to show you she was replying just as Yoongi's own reply came through.
MinSuga: couple hours to go jagi x maybe 8?
You sighed at his reply, looking at the clock only to see that 8pm was in fact three hours away, and you knew that if you waited too long in this get up you would chicken out and end up taking it off. You contemplated texting back before Jennie’s reply came through and you found yourself typing replies straight away.
Jennieee: so hot! I told you it would look good!! Even Joon agrees ;) what time is Yoongi getting home??
Wtf?? Why would you show him you weirdo!! And Yoongi said 8?
Jennieee: he's sitting next to me so he saw but it was an accident. Wtf! No way is he getting home that late. Send him a photo! TELL HIM he needs to come home.
You bit your lip as you mulled over the idea, shaking your head at the beginning of her message.
You're so dumb. Accident my ass. I don't want to piss him off? He gets annoyed if I interrupt work... Do you think it'd work??
Jennieee: if he's a normally functioning man he will come home. Send nudes ;)
You know I've never sent a sexy photo let alone a nude in my life right?
Jennieee: trust me this one time and just send one! :*
Fine!!
Standing from the couch, you walked through the apartment until you stood at the foot of your bed, throwing the phone down to dig through Yoongi's side of the closet. Finally settling on a black button up long sleeve shirt, you pulled your dress over your head before slipping your arms into the shirt. You stared at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two, posing a few different ways before grabbing your phone again. After a few trial and error shots you finally caught the hang of it, eventually picking the best photo out of the bunch. Laying back on the bed you carefully considered sending it before opening Jennie’s thread again.
What do I do if I send it and he turns me down?
Jennieee: send another and another until he gives in. ;D
Chuckling, you decided that you had procrastinated enough, finally clicking back into Yoongi's thread and sending the photo through.
Image. jpg - come home now? x
It took a minute or two before he opened it and even less than that before multiple replies came though all at one.
MinSuga: and just what are you up to? MinSuga: fuck jagiya MinSuga: you look so fucking good??
Chewing on your lower lip you tried to channel your inner Jennie, sending him a reply quickly.
It looks better in person. Make me wait too long and I might just have to put it back where it came from.
The little typing bubble popped up a couple times and you laughed as you realised that meant he couldn't figure out what to say. A surge of confidence swept through you and you found your fingers moving before you could control them. Your brain producing all manner of phrases you'd only heard in racy novels or on the Internet.
Tick tock jagi, don't make me wait even longer than you already have.
I'm so ready for you, all you need to do is come home and make me come.
And I'll do whatever you want afterwards...
It's been so long... I get so wet just thinking about you.
The speech bubble on his side cut off and after a moment of silence, your phone started buzzing in your hand and you yelped in alarm, almost dropping it in shock. Writing the dirty words was one thing. Saying them was a completely different ball game. Taking a deep breath and gulping down your anxiety, you answered the phone hesitantly.
"Hey."
"And just what are you playing at?" You faintly heard the sound of a car door closing and grinned in triumph, relaxing and spreading yourself across the bed as you listened to the purr of his cars engine start up.
"I'm not sure what you mean?" You feigned innocence, hearing him start to drive in the background.
"Don't play that crap with me jagiya. This is new... You're not normally this daring." You chuckled, running your fingers through the ends of your hair.  
"Maybe I've just gotten sick of waiting for you to offer to fuck me. I'm not asking anymore, I'm telling." His chuckle matched yours, only darker and deeper than you'd ever heard it.
"You're playing a dangerous game here." You hummed in reply and he continued to speak. "Take a wild guess as to who's the better player, kitten."
It didn't take long for all traces of moisture in your mouth to disappear and your shock was tangible through the line of the call as you could hear his laughter echoing from the other side, the unfamiliar pet name catching you off guard. "I-I, what the fuck." You whispered, mouth continuing to open and close as you grasped for something to say.
"I'll be home shortly kitten, you'll wait for daddy on the bed won't you?" The line crackled as it was cut off and the faint beep broke your frozen stance as you pulled back to stare at the blank screen for a moment, blinking slowly.
"What have I gotten myself into?" The force of your back hitting the bed causing you to bounce lightly. In the midst of your nervousness the minutes passed like seconds and suddenly the front door was opening, the jingle of Yoongi’s keys in the door like a shockwave in your bones and you were shaking, hands fisting the bed sheets and yet finding no purchase to anchor you.
Taking a deep breath you sat up in place in the middle of the bed, legs folded beneath you and listened silently for Yoongi’s footsteps in the hallway, but they never came. Two minutes passed, then three and finally five minutes before your curiosity got the better of you. Sliding yourself down the end and off the bed, you padded across the carpet and peaked into the hallway, spotting Yoongi’s shoes at the doorway and yet the man himself was no where to be found. Deciding to venture further down the hall, you paused at the door way to the living room, listening once more to see if you could hear him anywhere in the apartment, but it was deathly silent.
Had he gone into his studio? You had to be kidding yourself, and you quickly crossed the apartment to peer through the crack in the door. Finding you couldn’t see anything past the wall next to his desk, you shuffled closer in an attempt to see further inside without actually opening the door, and you seemed to be concentrating so hard you missed the shuffle of clothing behind you.
You were pressed against the wall, unable to scream in alarm around the hand that had appeared over your mouth, the other against your hip to help pin you to the wall, and you would have panicked if it weren’t for the familiar scent of Yoongi’s cologne surrounding you in a welcome cloud of comfort that had you relaxing in his arms instantly.
His chest and hips moulded to your back, fitting so perfectly against you and you couldn’t help leaning back into his embrace, head tipping back to rest against his shoulder. His hand had yet to release your mouth and you stretched your eyes in an attempt to see his face, but he held you firm, unyielding in his determination to keep you pinned. Finally he ducked his head, the lightest of stubble gently scraping the arch of your neck until his lips brushed the shell of your ear, his voice low and rumbling like thunder in your bones.
“Naughty kitten, I thought Daddy told you to wait on the bed.” Your eyes fluttered momentarily, the tone of voice he’d chosen to use was mostly unfamiliar, but the way it made your core clench and thighs tighten triggered a moan deep in your throat, and you felt his smirk rather than saw it. “What made you think it was okay to ignore my orders?”
His hand released your mouth but didn’t stray far, sliding down until his palm swallowed your throat. Your eyes, already lidded, slid shut at his touch and you couldn’t help but swallow tightly against his grip. The hand gripping your hip wound around your front, still holding you tightly against him and you sensed this time he was waiting for your reply.
“You-” your voice strained against the pressure on your neck and you swallowed once more, not missing the way his thumb stroked against your jaw at the feeling. “You didn’t come, to the room. I waited I swear-” Tightening his hold on your throat, he shushed you, using the arm around your front to flip you very suddenly, and in a flash of movement you were suddenly facing him, feeling a lot smaller than you normally would in his arms. And you were sure it had something to do with the way his eyes were glazed over, staring down at you darkly like you were a delicious three-course meal and he hadn’t eaten in days.
“And that’s an appropriate reason to do as you please?” You shrunk further under the intensity of his gaze; the lack of blood getting to your brain making your thoughts fuzzy and all you could focus on was how much you wished he would kiss you. He clicked his tongue against his teeth in light annoyance and you dragged your eyes back up to his from where they’d drifted onto his lips with your thoughts. “Are you even paying attention at all kitten?”
Chewing on your lip, you hesitated to answer, unsure if he was waiting for your response or not. A moment of silence settled between you and your lips parted in preparation to speak but you were forced into moving before you could form a coherent sentence. Yoongi pulled you from the wall, the hand on your back gripping the black button down you’d stolen from his closet and used it to guide you backwards, keeping your neck in place and forcing you to trust that he wouldn’t run you into anything.
Moments later the amount of light around you dimmed and you could tell he’d walked you into the hallway and towards the bedroom. Heat flashed through your body and you could tell he could see the excitement in your eyes, his composure cracking slightly and the hint of a smile kinking the corners of his mouth in a perceptively sinister way.
His footsteps quickened in pace and you stumbled momentarily before you were suddenly released, falling back through the empty air with a squeal that caught in your throat as your back bounced roughly onto the bed. Barely a breath passing through your lips before he was on you, hands tugging impatiently until the shirt was thrown to the side and no part of your ensemble was hidden. Your hands twitched with the habitual urge to cover some part of yourself from his intense inspection, but you stopped yourself reluctantly, knowing he’d just hold your arms down if you tried.
“You look amazing, kitten. Now where did this naughty little outfit come from?” Your eyes cast down to the hands that were stroking gently across your inner thighs, legs spread and knees hooked around his hips. His length was already hardening in his jeans, and you could fully see the effect you were having on him.
“I’ve had it for a while now.” You chewed on your lower lip, catching his attention with the small movement and he leant down until his body was completely covering yours, but not touching, lips barely a hairs breadth away from yours and your throat closed in; you weren’t breathing but you didn’t notice.
“Hmm, then you’ve been keeping it from me.” His hand drew back until only his fingertips met your skin and began the ascension up your thigh, fingers parting the closer they got to your core until they barely brushed the outline of your heat through the thin lace covering you.
You finally found your lungs as you gasped in a breath at his barely-there touch, watching his lips tilt into a smirk at your reaction to his teasing and his hand continued to rise up your body, more of his hand gradually meeting your skin until his full palm swept up your chest and back around your throat. In a blink his lips were on yours in a bruising kiss that stole your breath again, hand around your throat making your head spin in the best way and his other hand twisting into your hair.
Ripping your lips from his own, he pulled the hair in this fingers until your head was forced to the side with a jerk, the burn against your scalp doing nothing to sway the sharp bolts of                                                  pleasure rushing down your body and meeting deep in your core, a deep throb making your hips buck and the blood rushing in your ears making them burn.
His mouth met your cheek and he sucked kisses onto your jaw, and the closer he got to your neck the harder he sucked, teeth nipping at your delicate skin and you could only imagine the purple bruises that were going to be littering your skin later. He leant down to your ear, his mouth only millimetres away, but his voice was muffled through the white noise raging in your skull.
“Daddy doesn’t like it when you hide things kitten.” A dark haze crept around the edges of your eyesight and your eyes fluttered open and closed, your mouth doing the same at your lack of air and all of a sudden he was gone, the hands around your throat and in your hair grabbing your hips and with a twist of his arms he’d flipped you, your face now pressed into the mattress and lungs burning as you drew in a ragged breath.
Gasping for air, you moaned through the rough dryness in your throat as his firm hands run up and down your back, massaging you soothingly as he waited for your breathing to return back to normal. “Is this too much for you jagiya?” He whispered into your hair, sweeping the strands covering your neck away and pressing gentle kisses against the bruises blooming under your skin. You hummed happily and nuzzled your face into the blanket, shaking your head.
“Use your words, princess.” Head turning to the side, you let one eye crack open and peered up at him, hands beneath you fisting in the sheets and you smiled softly.
“I’m okay.” His brow arched and your smile dropped before you realised your mistake. “I’m okay daddy.” A growl rumbled deep in his chest and you saw the flash of a sinister smirk before he was out of your sight, disappearing behind you far enough that if you couldn’t already feel his weight behind you on the bed, you almost could have sworn he’d left.
His hand swings down and meets the thickest part of your ass, bouncing off with the force behind the hit and you whimper, burying your face into the blanket again, the sound of your panting breaking the silence of the room as he massages the reddened skin. You sound like a bitch in heat, and if you could focus on anything other than his hands on you, you’d probably find it within yourself to be embarrassed.
Yoongi’s touch disappears only to hit you once more, on the other side this time, but he doesn’t hesitate to continue his assault on your exposed skin, raining hits across your ass yet somehow never in the same spot, until you’re a whimpering, wriggling mess and he’s forced to sit on the backs of your thighs to stop you from escaping.
“Stop moving kitten, it’s not going to get you anywhere.” His nails stab into you as he grabs two handfuls of the flesh on your hips, squeezing until your hands fly out from beneath you to stop him. He’s quick to restrain you, one hand easily holding your arms down against your back. “Grab your elbows.” The dominance in his voice washes over you and your body automatically responds, back arching and hands cupping your elbows behind you.
“Good girl, kitten.” He hums, hands dropping from your arms to grab your waist, and then your hips are in the air, kneeling with your legs between his and your thighs pressed together. Hands brush over you until he grips you beneath the swell of your ass, thumbs hooking underneath the now soaking wet fabric covering the last of your decency and brushing against the sensitive skin on either side of your entrance.
“Please.” You mewl, trying your hardest not to push your hips back against him, and he chuckles darkly before rearing his hand back, swinging his palm forward and hitting your clit perfectly. You shudder beneath him, hips swaying and legs buckling below you until he’s forced to catch you and right your position.
“Tsk, tsk, kitten. You can’t expect me to give you what you want when you can’t even address me properly. I’m disappointed.” You whine as his hands retreat from your dripping heat, trying your hardest to turn your neck and make eye contact. Seeing your struggle, he leans forward slowly, biting his lip as your glowing face comes into view, lips swollen from your teeth digging in and the prettiest blush he’d ever seen spread across your cheeks and the tip of your nose.
“Ngh- No! Please, daddy! I swear I’m trying my hardest!” He can’t help the soft smile that spreads across his face, leaning down to run his lips across your flushed cheekbone, and your brows furrow in confusion momentarily before you smile sweetly back at him, leaning into the caress.
“You look so beautiful like this.” His voice is hushed, almost a whisper in your ear, and right as your eyes close his hands rush in, tugging the fabric covering you to the side and groaning when you take two of his fingers with no resistance. You gasp noisily, choking on your breath and whining loudly as he buries his fingers deeper inside you, just the right amount of pressure and thickness. You can faintly feel the way you leak around his fingers, wetness trailing down and making a mess on your inner thighs for him.
“You’re so wet baby, you like when daddy tells you what to do?” Scissoring his fingers inside you, he tilts his wrist slightly and digs deeper, teeth finding his lip and eyes sliding shut as your loud moans vibrate through the hot velvet encasing him.
“Daddy!” Your nails are digging in hard enough to draw blood from your arms, but you don’t notice the pain. Your face is buried into the bed and you can’t breath properly but you can’t seem to care, your entire focus is set on the way Yoongi’s fingers are nudging against the sweetest of spots inside you and the sweet release you’ve been waiting for that’s rushing towards you faster than you care to admit. He’s got you spun so tightly that all it would take for you to cum would be the lightest jerk of his fingers and it terrifies you almost as much as it excites you.
Yoongi can feel the telltale throbbing inside you start to grip his fingers and he pumps his fingers a little bit faster, delighting in the way you jerk and arch beneath him. Your whole body is blushing in front of him and he’s so painfully hard but the darkest part of him says he has to have your cum on his tongue first, before he puts his own on yours.
Pulling back until he has a full view of you spread out before him, he tongue peeks between his lips and he stares down at the way his fingers glide in and out of you. The way you’re moaning he can tell you’re about to come and he leans down to your entrance, pumping faster and faster until your cries cease all together and your breath catches in your throat. And then his mouth is on you, tongue buried deep where his fingers had just been and you’re screaming, voice cracking around the muffled cries you can’t control and he has to hold your hips in place with his arms wrapped around your thighs.
Easing you down from your high, he slips his tongue free from your core, catching the little drops that managed to escape him the first time. He’s moaning against you, feeling your thighs shake in oversensitivity while the tip of his tongue, bathed in your release, slides over your swollen clit until your hips are jerking in an attempt to escape the painfully sensitive pleasure.
“Thankyou, daddy.” Your voice is broken and shakes along with the vibrations still thrumming through your body and his eyes shoot up to where he can just see your face, red and puffy with glassy eyes, and you’re still so stunning it amazes him.
“How are you feeling princess?” His touch is gentle now, caressing you softly and attentive hands are encouraging you to unravel your arms and roll to the side. Your breathing is starting to slow and your face is stretched with a grin, and you can’t stop the giggles bubbling up in your throat.
“Good daddy, really good.” Your legs are wrapping carefully around his waist and he takes the subtle hint, leaning over until his face is level with your own. His lips grazing across your forehead gently until they meet yours with a bit more force, but you can tell he’s holding himself back to make sure you’re alright and while your heart swells, you choose to acknowledge his sweetness later.
“Daddy?” You mumble, fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt, and you arch your back to press your chest against his. You can feel him smiling against your lips before he pulls back to look down at you, a dark glint in his eyes when he feels just how close his throbbing length is to your core. He hums at you, raising one eyebrow in question. “I want it in my mouth.”
His hand comes up immediately, cupping your jaw while he groans, eyes lidded and hips jerking closer to yours at the mere mention of getting himself anywhere near your mouth. “What do you want in your mouth kitten?” He smirks when you blush, biting his lip to hide his chuckle when your gaze drops from his. After everything he can still turn you shy and he absolutely adores it.
“Your cum, daddy.” The words were so quiet that if he hadn’t been so close to you already he definitely would have missed them.
“Fuck, princess.” His head drops to your shoulder and his hands tug at his belt, throwing it aside quickly before he gets to work on his jeans, and you slip your fingers under the hem of his shirt to stroke you hands up his smooth chest, running over all the little dips and up to his shoulders until he’s forced to let you slip the material over his head.
His pants are soon stripped from his legs and he shuffles back off the bed, prompting you to sit up and slid down to the floor in front of him. His hands fist at his sides, clenching momentarily as he gazes down at you and loving the way you’re silently sitting there waiting for him to tell you what he wants.
His hands find your cheeks first, cupping your face and tilting your chin up to where it’s perfectly in line with his length. Your eyes can’t help drifting to stare at it, mouth watering as the little beads of moisture run down the head and onto his shaft. The hunger in your eyes pushes him to his limit and he can’t wait any longer.
Guiding his length to your mouth, he hisses when your lips pucker to meet the tip, the precum leaking from him covering your lower lip and making it shine like gloss. It’s so fucking pretty and he has to look away in an attempt to pace himself. Pulling you closer his teeth catch his lip as yours encase the head of his length, tucking perfectly around the swell and sucking teasingly, drawing him further into your mouth.
Groaning, his head tips back as the pleasure washes over him and he releases your chin to twist his fingers back into your hair. His hips start to thrust, shallowly to begin with before he eases deeper into your mouth and the little noise you make when he touches the back of your throat drives him wild.
Your hands come up to hold his hips as you meet his thrusts, relaxing your throat around him and pushing yourself forward. His hips buck at the feeling and you choke a little, drawing back to take a breath quickly and then you push yourself down his length as hard as you can, saliva and precum spilling out onto your lips and his hands messing up your hair. You love this, and you love the way he’s lost in the pleasure of your touch, head dropping forward while his eyes are clenched shut tightly, brows furrowed and little grunts breaking through his lips.
He’s getting closer to his high and he can feel his control slipping, hips coming forward a little faster and pressing against the back of your throat a little harder until a particularly hard thrust has him slipping further into the back of your mouth and his tip slips right into your actual throat. Cursing loudly, his eyes flash open to look down at you in alarm, he’s never gone that far and it feels fucking amazing but he doesn’t want to hurt you.
“Fuck baby, does that hurt?” He’s shocked when you push even further down his length, nails digging into his thighs and throat spasming around his tip in your body’s effort to reject his intrusion, and he’s once again in awe of you, eyes squinting and body shaking as his orgasm is suddenly upon him.
“I’m gonna cum kitten.” He’s gasping and rolling his hips, and you open your eyes at the last second to watch him come undone, swallowing around his hot length, and his own eyes shoot open to catch yours before he’s cumming with a shout, watching sweet little tears trail down your cheeks. “That’s it, swallow… swallow. Good girl.”
He’s far enough down your throat that you can’t actually feel his cum, but you still swallow reflexively under his orders and he hisses, drawing back and easing your mouth off his length slowly. You cough a little and your throat is burning like hell, but the way he’s looking down at you makes it all worth it.
He kneels in front of you, cupping your face and caressing the tears from your cheeks, and pulls you close to press a kiss to your lips, tongue flicking against yours slowly. Pulling you back up to stand, he eases you back onto the bed until you’re laying beneath him once more, lips never leaving yours, and makes sure you’re comfortable before releasing you to undo your lingerie, hands following the fabric as it slips from your feet and lands somewhere amidst the sheets.
You moan roughly when his fingers brush against your core once more, sliding easily through your wetness and you grab his hand without thought, pulling him until he was covering you once more. He shakes his head with a chuckle, letting your impatience slide, using his other arm to wrap your legs around his waist. Gripping his length, he pumps himself a few times, catching your eye while you bite your lip at the sight, and then he’s finally lining himself up with your entrance and sliding home.
He feels like heaven buried deep and you both groan in pleasure as you tighten around his length, feeling him throb and swell inside you. Your back arches with his thrusts, and the earlier abuse on your throat leaves you silent, breathing high pitched and squeaking brokenly as he hits the perfect spots inside you.
“God I love you.” His face is buried in your neck while he moans and pants, hips rolling smoothly and almost lazily. You’re so wet and warm and it’s all for him, and the way you make him feel makes his head spin. Not that you’re fairing any better with the way his pelvis is grinding against your clit and his tongue is lapping at your neck. Every sensation is filled to the brim with his essence and you cum again without warning, arms wrapped around his neck and teeth digging into his shoulder.
“Yoongi!” He swears under his breath as your core wraps around him even tighter, releasing himself from your grip and sitting back on his heels, watching the way your body moves against his hips, breasts bouncing so fucking nicely and head thrown back from the pleasure he gives you. Lacing his fingers between yours, he pumps into you faster and harder, listening to you whimper for him, and his body burns from the inside out while his hips stutter. He comes loudly and jerkily, cum pushed as deep inside you as you let him, and he loves to watch the way it follows him out, slowly dripping from you and onto the sheets.
You curl into his chest when he settles beside you, sighing happily while you listen to the way his heart beats quickly in his chest. His fingers are playing with your hair and you’re tracing the way his muscles dip on his bicep, the silence is comfortable and soothing after the chaos and you find yourself falling asleep like that, sideways on the bed and still completely naked, your favourite person in the world wrapped around you.
__________
You can feel how sore your throat is before you open your eyes, squinting at the soft light emitting from the lamp beside you and taking a deep breath before you look around you. It takes you a moment to realise that you’ve woken because Yoongi is stroking your back, and you roll to face him, finding him smiling softly and holding a glass of water and Nurofen in his other hand. Taking both from him you down the painkillers and drink the water, closing your eyes as his fingers brush your hair back from your face. He’s ordered takeout and you can smell it in the kitchen, but with the way your body aches even just sitting there you know you’re going to need help getting anywhere near it.
“-“ You try speak but nothing comes out, not even the hint of a whisper and he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. You bite your lip with a smile, realising how you’ve lost your voice and you wince as your vocal chords try to make sound in order for you to laugh, but there’s nothing but silence coming from your throat anytime soon.
“Yes, I was wondering if you would lose your voice from earlier.” He shakes his head with a smile, standing from the bed and holding out his hands to take yours, pulling you from the bed and onto shaky legs. He helps you into the lounge and feeds you honey chicken, wrapping you in blankets and massaging your legs, and you couldn’t be more content. Yoongi is finally home for a night, and while you know it’s not going to be like this every evening, you’re ready to make it work as best you can.
The next morning you’re waving Yoongi off to training, voice still rough as you giggle at his kisses and tell him you love him too. You nearly miss the sound of your phone vibrating against the counter but you catch the phone call at the last second, answering quietly in an unsuccessful attempt to make your voice cooperate with you. Jennie pauses on the other side of the line, and you chew your lip as you grin, waiting for the inevitable.
“Where is your voice and how much did you deep-throat! Spill it bitch!”
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riverdames-blog · 6 years
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Disappointed But Not Disheartened: Reflections on A Wrinkle In Time
In early 2016, when it was announced that Ava DuVernay was attached to A Wrinkle In Time, I tweeted about how excited I was for it and she favorited my tweet so I screenshotted the notification and showed it to everyone on the planet and have been anxiously awaiting this movie ever since.  Jennifer Lee, one of the two screenwriters for the project, is who I aspire to be, and Ava DuVernay is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the best filmmakers of all time, and, although I honestly don’t remember much about the plot, I read at least 3 books in Madeleine L’Engle’s Time Quintet as a child and definitely really enjoyed them.  (I may have read Many Waters and completely forgotten it, but I think I was just not that interested in transitioning to the next generation and so peaced out after A Swiftly Tilting Planet.)  In the months before its release, I declared multiple times that A Wrinkle In Time would probably be the movie of the year for me.
Now that I’ve seen it, I can say more confidently: it’s not my movie of the year.  Just to be sure, I saw it twice this weekend (and I also watched the 2003 TV Movie in between to compare – it’s not great but it’s also not, like… resoundingly worse).  The second time around, I enjoyed it way more than the first, and I think it’ll only continue to grow on me with time.  Visually, it’s just spectacular: Ava DuVernay and Naomi Shohan have built a gorgeous and imaginative world.  Production design is maybe the only element of cinema that L’Engle’s original novel lends itself to easily, and they tapped that to its fullest potential.  But something about the storytelling just didn’t quite click for me.
And before I go on, I want to be clear: no one working on this movie had anything to prove.  People will frame it that way – can a black woman direct a $100 million movie? or can a little brown girl carry an action-adventure blockbuster? – but none of that is really up in the air.  Black creatives have proven time and time again that they can and will carry franchises, so we can stop pretending that was ever even a question.  And we all saw The Dark Knight Rises and were like, “hm, very middle of the road”, and yet no one raised an eyebrow when Christopher Nolan got a Best Director nod this year.  Ava is still one of the best working visual storytellers in Hollywood (and has increasingly excellent brand recognition – any studio would be lucky to have her helm another blockbuster).  Storm Reid is charming and will continue to get work.  Jennifer Lee is still my hero.  It is dumb that I’m nervous to admit that I was disappointed by A Wrinkle In Time, like if it wasn’t the perfect movie no one will ever try to make movies like it again.  Creatives do not have to break new ground with every movie they make for their work to be considered valuable.  And in a lot of ways, A Wrinkle In Time was groundbreaking.
So, bearing in mind that this movie doesn’t in anyway reflect on anyone’s capacity for great filmmaking, what made A Wrinkle In Time feel disjointed to me?
My first thought was maybe it was just a failure of casting.  They apparently searched for 7 months for someone to play Charles Wallace, and as cute as he is, Deric McCabe felt awkward and stilted to me the entire movie on first watching.  Levi Miller was the cutest stalk of celery I’ve ever seen but that’s kinda the most I can say for him.  Everyone was charming, but no one – Storm Reid included – really had the chops to carry the weight of all the bonkers exposition this movie demanded of them.
That said, the performances felt less stilted to me when I watched it a second time – Storm Reid and Deric McCabe did have some really keen and nuanced moments, and Levi Miler, despite speaking like he’s never met another human being before, gives truly excellent face.  And the adult casting was superb; Chris Pine as the affirming father of a biracial daughter seems like an obvious and sincere choice, and also ZACH GALIFIANAKIS.  Clearly Aisha Coley knew what she was doing because it takes some serious insight to look at Zach Galifinakis and think, “this schlubby comedian will play the kindest, gentlest father figure in cinematic history.”  No actor is actively wrong for their part, and no one is phoning it in – the younger folks are maybe just still figuring some things out.
So if the performances felt awkward but it wasn’t a failure of casting, I hate to even suggest it, but maybe then it’s a failure of direction.  If these actors had the potential to perform this script well, maybe Ava just didn’t direct them appropriately.  There are some moments where I think this is actually true: if you’re working with young talent struggling to create a genuine sense of chemistry, maybe don’t block things so they’re standing several yards apart as they exchange intimate dialogue.  There were multiple weirdly slow, far apart exchanges between Meg and Calvin that probably would’ve felt loaded with meaning with more competent actors but just felt bizarre and confusing with these kids.
That said, I am reluctant to criticize Ava’s work here, largely because these children have spoken quite sincerely multiple times about how kind Ava was and how safe they felt working with her.  When working with young actors, I think that’s the most important thing.  And so if these kids felt most comfortable shouting at each other from across a football field, then fine.  I’m okay with that.  And also, let’s not forget: Zach. Gala-friggin-akis.  Ava knows how to get what she needs.
So then perhaps there was something weird about the camera.  The cinematography of this movie felt deliberate, like it was meant to create a real mood around this story.  It felt like the idea was to shoot this thing in a way that was disorienting to reflect the magic and uncertainty of the world these characters occupy.  But that didn’t really click for me: I mostly just felt like the camera placement was in the way.  Maybe because the performances weren’t strong enough to come through, but maybe because cutting from a traditional over-the-shoulder shot to a strikingly tight 90 degree profile is always going to take you a little bit out of the moment.  (There were two particularly striking moments that made me chuckle they were so disorienting: one when Ms. Whatsit and Meg’s mother talk in such a tight, shallow-focus profile shot, I could’ve sworn they were about to kiss; the other when, in the middle of a conversation between Meg and Principal Jenkins, there was a cut to a close, shallow-focus shot of his name placard, and then a very artistic but completely unnecessary tilt up as the focus racks a very tight shot of Mr. Jenkin’s face.)
Weird cinematography can interrupt the flow of even the best scenes.  But maybe – and I hate to say this even more than I hate to suggest Ava’s work wasn’t as good as it could be – but maybe, I am just making excuses here for Jennifer Lee.  Maybe this was a failure of script.  And I do think that Jennifer Lee and her writing partner, Jeff Stockwell, made some really positive changes.  I think they captured and amplified the essential relationships and motivations in this story.  I think getting rid of the twins and playing around with the Murry family structure, as well as adding a lot of scenes with the dad and giving him a central character flaw, gave this story a clearer and cleaner direction than the Weinstein-produced adaptation in 2003.  And I think that the whimsy of the book was captured in a way that felt visual and cinematic in this screenplay.
But it’s hard to deny that this screenplay felt a little clunky.  There was a lot of exposition and no clear moment when a goal or central question was obviously stated, which probably would’ve helped me enjoy the film a bit more on my first watching.  It was somewhat unclear when the acts were changing, which made it hard to be totally swept up in the beautiful and immersive imagery.  The sequencing at the end is awkward – why does Calvin just watch a deeply intimate conversation between Meg and her dad?  (He’s just smiling in the corner of one shot when they hug at the end and I truly burst out laughing in the theater.)  What did Calvin and Mr. Murry do in the backyard for all that time when they tessered away without Meg and Charles Wallace?  Why did Charles Wallace get so easily distracted by the family dog (for a seemingly very long stretch of time) when he ran into the house to get his mom?  Why did Meg not laugh out loud at Calvin when he said, “Funny how it took a trip around the universe for me to have the strength to confront my crazy dad!”?  And speaking of Calvin, while I think the decision to trim a lot of the fat around the Meg-Charles Wallace sibling dynamic was a good one, it sort of begged the question: why is Calvin even here?  (It’s actually sort of nice bit of commentary – to help save the universe, men simply need to trust women and affirm that their ideas and instincts are correct – but it felt undeniably odd that Calvin came along when all he did was fall off Reese Witherspoon’s lettuce leaf body and then eat a bunch of sand.)
Having said that, it does seem like there were some fairly substantial reshoots or at least major cuts made after principle production, because based on the trailer, what seems like a big expositional scene got left on the chopping block.  I’ve also heard in interviews that they shot and were starting to animate an Aunt Beast scene between Mr. Murry’s tesser and Meg’s final confrontation with The It.  Perhaps the original script did a better job of integrating Calvin and establishing clearer act breaks and character voices.  Maybe, for reasons beyond their control, this script needed to be torn up a bit and it was too late for the writers to polish the rough edges that were left behind.   Or hey, maybe Jeff Stockwell took hostage of the whole thing and made a bunch of bad changes at the last minute that Jennifer Lee couldn’t talk him down from and her hands are clean!  (I don’t know enough about WGA rules to totally tease out what that cowriting process looked like based on the billing – that is maybe very possible – but it’s not very kind to Jeff to just assume that about the script so I won’t.)
At the end of the day, A Wrinkle In Time did not come together for me like I hoped it would.  It’s not easy to tell why major sequences got cut pretty late in the game or why the cinematography decisions and acting decisions came together as awkwardly as they did.  Whatever the reason, this movie just didn’t do it for me.  But even as I left the theater feeling a little disappointed, I was not disheartened.  This movie wasn’t anything like, say, Suicide Squad, which feels like a project that was fought over, a project where everyone involved seemingly knew the movie was a train-wreck but also “knew” it wasn’t their fault.  It’s hard to point the finger at anyone here; everyone has something to be proud of (and something to be less proud of).  No sequence feels pulled because the studio didn’t trust its creatives or because the director didn’t trust her actors.  It feels like a product that was made by a whole, a whole who struggled with this beast together.  A Wrinkle In Time feels delightfully collaborative, a movie made by committee in the best possible way.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway, then, is that adapting L’Engle’s bonkers novel is a hard thing to do.  To no one’s fault, the stakes of her story are simultaneously impossibly large and surprisingly small.  Her characters speak with a rhythm that is odd even when done well, and the world she built evokes more the concept of beauty than actual images of it.  (And let’s not even begin to unpack cinema’s troubled troubled relationship with Christian-influenced fantasy storytelling.)
But here is a group of people who all earnestly rose to the challenge.  They made the thing.  And it is flawed in a lot of ways.  But as Meg Murry knows better than most, its faults are not undeserving of love.
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podcastdx · 3 years
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Fibromyalgia & POTs
Jason is an engineering graduate who reinvented himself as a podcaster and chronic illness/disability advocate after developing fibromyalgia and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). He is the host of Discomfort Zone, a podcast featuring immersive stories on chronic illness and disability that showcase our vulnerability, wellness, and resilience. He and his guests find comfort by turning towards discomfort, welcoming it, and laughing at it. 
Jason is the youngest of three kids and the proud uncle of his nephew and niece. He was born and raised in Toronto, Canada where he currently lives with his Mom and Dad. On occasion, he helps with the dishes and does his own laundry. In his spare time, he can be found throwing grapes in the air, trying to catch them in his mouth, dropping them, dusting them off, and trying again.
    s8e9 Fibromyalgia and POTs TRANSCRIPT
Lita T  00:08  Hello, and welcome to another episode of podcast dx, the show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a medical diagnosis. I'm Lita, Ron is not with us today.
Jean  00:20  And I'm Jean Marie.
Lita T  00:21  Collectively, we're the hosts of podcast dx. And today's show, we're talking about Fibromyalgia, POTs and chronic fatigue syndrome with Jason Herterich. I hope I'm getting that right. He'll correct me in a minute (laughter) Jason is the host of a podcast called "The Discomfort Zone", and co host of the podcast, "Invisible, Not Broken". He's joining us today from one of our favorite cities, Toronto. Hello, Jason. Thanks for joining us today.
Jason  00:35  You are Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I've been looking forward to this.
Jean  00:56  Thanks. Yeah, actually, I just saw Margaret Atwood was posted. She was cleaning up trash outside of her, you know, on along the street in Toronto. And it looked a little bit chilly.
Lita T  01:08  Yeah, it's it's chilly here too.
Jason  01:11  It sure is.
Jean  01:12  Well, Jason, before we get into your diagnosis, and that, I'm just curious what led you to hosting your own podcast.
Jason  01:20  So it was really organic, how it happened, I had fallen really ill in 2016 and 2017. And one of my friends just suggested that I should get into listening to podcasts, I had become very, very ill. And I spent about 22 hours a day in bed. And I couldn't even handle looking at a TV screen,
Jean  01:42   Mhhmm
Jason  01:42   because I had such severe headaches. And so naturally, podcasts you don't have to look at, you can shut your eyes, you can just listen to them, you can tune out for a little bit. And I got really, really into storytelling podcasts especially. And they they were really wonderful in the way that they help expand. Essentially, they allow you to empathize with people at a much deeper level. And I really loved that aspect of it. But I realized that there weren't, there was a very low representation of people who are chronically ill, and disabled in storytelling podcasts. So I just sought to create my own. So I got into so I started in 2017, after I started to recover, and I started producing stories about my own chronic illness experience. And I tried to make them just very immersive stories using sound design  music and sound effects and everything to really try and engage as many people as possible. And so I've been doing that ever since.
Jean  02:46  That's fantastic
Lita T  02:47  Yeah, sounds great.
Jean  02:48  And what are some of your favorite podcasts at the moment?
Jason  02:51  Oh, yeah, I got a whole ton of I got a whole ton right here. Um, yeah, one of my favorite recently has been "Your Hustle". It is Have you guys heard of that before?
Jean  03:01  I, I. ehh... it sounds familiar.
Jason  03:04  Yeah, so it's a podcast that is produced within the walls of San Quentin penitentiary in California. And I don't know about you. But before whenever I think of inmates, they're often depicted as scary criminals who are devoid of any remorse. But really, when you get to hear their stories, you just get to understand them at a deeper level to empathize with them. And it really leaves you with this feeling that anyone is capable of rehabilitation. So that is one of them. Another one that have been hooked on lately "Unlocking Bryson's Brain". And it is a story of a Canadian man who takes listeners inside his family search for a diagnosis, treatment and cure to his son's rare brain disease. So yeah, it's it's really fascinating as like, this really incredible mix of storytelling, medical mystery, disability rights, and gene editing science. And then And then lastly, "How To Be A Girl" is a documentary of a mother raising her transgender daughter. So yeah, just just to keep this brief. At the age of three, her child told her that there was a mistake in her tummy that and that she should have come out as a girl.
Lita T  04:23  Oh wow!
Jason  04:24  So it just yeah, it navigates there. As the girl gets older, she starts going through school playdates. And when the mom has romantic relationships, so they just have very raw conversations. And I think the daughter is is my favorite part of it. It just really goes to show how incredibly wise children can be.
Lita T  04:49  That's amazing.
Jean  04:50  Yeah, those will be adding those three to our list.
Lita T  04:52  Oh, for sure.
Jean  04:54  Yeah.
Lita T  04:54  I love that.
Jason  04:55  Yeah I couldn't, I couldn't recommend them. highly enough.
Lita T  04:58  Love it. Jason, how do you balance living with a chronic illness? Actually several chronic illnesses and hosting your own podcast?
Jason  05:09  Yeah, it's it's an ongoing struggle. What has been most helpful for me is I try to make active decisions throughout the day. So I will leave alarms on my phone to just remind me to pause, whatever I'm doing consciously think about what I will do next and check in with my body see, like, do I need to take a break? Should I go out for a walk? Am I having trouble concentrating? Because usually, that's a sign that my symptoms are starting to kick in? Or, you know, do I have any obligations later in the day that I need to reserve spoons for? So really, it's an ongoing process? I try to get a little bit better at it over time. But yeah, I'm not perfect. (laughter)
Lita T  05:58  Yeah, I can....  I can understand that,
Jason  05:58  it's something that... I continue to struggle with.
Lita T  06:00   yeah, I do the same thing with I use my phone a lot. I have early onset Alzheimer's. And I use my phone constantly to, to remind me to do things. And just to keep me in check and make sure that the day is going smoothly. And I don't end up with anything surprising that really kind of goes be into a tailspin, basically.
Jason  06:25  Yeah, yeah. If you use too much early in the day, it can throw you off,
Lita T  06:29  right.
Jean  06:30   And we also use tech, we have watches that have a light diode that takes your pulse ox and pulse rate on a regular basis. And actually, it vibrates when you're starting when your stress levels are increasing. Or when you've been sedentary too long to kind of give you just that reminder, either to take a deep breath or go take a walk.
Lita T  06:50  You Right, right.
Jason  06:52  Wow, that's, that's actually incredible. I'm gonna have to get the name of that afterwards from you
Lita T  06:56   It's one of the Garmin, I know it's a Garmin, but there are several Garmin, we got it. Yeah, we'll put a link on that for our website,
Jean  07:04  or send you a message. Yep.
Lita T  07:05  Yep. So Jason, I understand that you've been diagnosed with several different really complicated and difficult diagnosis. Fibromyalgia in itself is rough. myalgic encephalitis horrible. And POT's, could you tell us what symptoms lead you to seeking out medical care?
Jason  07:27  Yeah, so this all started out just over nine years ago, it's wild to think it was so long ago, but I was a fourth year student at University studying engineering. And I was very, very active. At the time, I was a triathlete. And, you know, I was about to graduate and had my whole life ahead of me. And then one day during an intramural game of basketball, I caught a rebound, I twisted and pass the ball up court. And in that moment, I strained a muscle in my abdomen called, what is the name of it, intercostal, sorry, brain fog here. I strained my intercostal muscles, and they are muscles that are used for breathing. And so unlike if you break your arm, you can put it in a sling, and you let it recover, and it naturally gets better by itself. But with these muscles, it is really, really painful. And it is it's made even more complicated by the fact that you can't rest and recover from it,
Lita T  08:30  Cause you need to breathe. Right
Jason  08:32  Yeah, it's not easy to treat at all. And so essentially, I had to take a week off of school spent the entire time in bed. And when I went back to school, I was so far behind that, essentially what happened is I my stress levels were so high from having to work so hard. And my pain levels were already really high from the injury. And when you get pain and stress, the two just build on one another, you're more stressed out because you're in pain and you're in more pain, because you're stressed out. So it creates this positive feedback loop. And so over time, my brain just became sensitized to pain. And I as a result as well, I'm not getting any restorative sleep, so I'm just tired all the time. And so it was something I sought medical care for quite a while ago, but it wasn't until so. So the injury happened in 2011. I didn't receive a diagnosis until like 2014. And so yeah, there at that point, they were really really debilitating symptoms.
Jean  09:40  I'm sorry to hear that.
Lita T  09:40  And was that basically the Fibromyalgia that kicked in at that point?
Jason  09:45  Yeah, it was fibromyalgia and myalgic encephalomyelitis as well. I don't think at that point. My POTs symptoms had begun showing themselves my POTs symptoms. I started to I believe, later on in 2015 is when I started I get dizzy and all that. And yeah, it's it's one of those things where I know a lot of these chronic conditions are interconnected. So you catch one, you're more likely to catch another, and, and so on.
Jean  10:13  And so I think because of all the overlapping symptoms, it's hard to get a differential diagnosis. And establish that.
Jason  10:21  Yeah, yeah. Makes it a lot harder
Jean  10:24  and, and you said it took a while to get that diagnosis. What were some of the tests associated with that? And I hear you have a tilt table story for us?
Jason  10:33  I do. Yeah. So I was just very dizzy all the time. And I would find that my heart raced whenever I stood up. And so one day when I was in my neurologists office, he did a quick check. So for your listeners, POTs is characterized by a heart rate increase of 30 beats per minute when you go from lying to standing up. So this was something that my neurologist did a quick check in his office, and I tested positive and this in that test in 2015. And so he referred me for a more comprehensive test called the tilt table test, where essentially, they tap they strap you to a table. And it's, it's slowly adjust from horizontal to vertical. And at that point, my symptoms were very severe when I got in, it was 2016. And just simply lying on the table put me in debilitating pain, even before the test began. I believe my heart rate was around 100 beats per minute, before it even started when Usually, it's around 60. And so they that we started the test, but it's supposed to be a 45 minute test. But 15 minutes in, I was just in such debilitating pain just from being uncomfortable on the board that they actually had to stop the entire test. And I just thought that it was going to be an inconclusive results.
Lita T  12:01  Mhhmm
Jason  12:01   But they ended up sending a report back to my doctor saying that I tested negative for it.
Lita T  12:09  Oh?
Jason  12:09  Which, to me is
Jean  12:10  Not quite the same thing.
Lita T  12:12   Yeah. Yeah.
Jason  12:13  It didn't seem right. And I pleaded with the doctor, you know, I said, I explained to him how they had to stop the test early and how my symptoms had gone haywire before they even started the test. But my neurologist, kind of just discounted what I had said, and he accepted the results. And he completely ignored me. And I think I yeah, I believe anyways, it was only a few months ago, or earlier this year, when I just simply redid that very first test when you just simply go from lying to standing up. And I had the heart rate increase. And a new doctor that I've been seeing a cardiac specialist told me that I do in fact have POTs. So I guess the moral of that entire story was that I I guess, I guess the issue was like the rigidity of the medical system and not stressing the importance of the patient voice there, it was very clear to me that there was systematic error within the test that made the results completely meaningless.
Jean  13:17  I'm sorry to hear that. I also had a tilt table test. And the technician that was performing my test to get me at a baseline for them to start actually was telling me very interesting stories and trying to keep my mind off the fact that we were there for because I think even going in for their test because it it can be a stressful process. And it is like a disconcerting kind of activity to be going through. A good technician is worth their weight in gold because they can try to keep your mind off the fact that you're there for that test and
Lita T  13:57  and she was in pain because
Jean  13:59   right
Lita T  13:59   we had just flown out to California to Stanford for the test and on the landing or just
Jean  14:06  some luggage hit me in the head. It wasn't a big deal
Lita T  14:08  just prior to landing  the the flight attendant open the hatch on top, from where she was sitting and luggage fell out and hit her. And she had already had a neck and a head injury. So but she was tense. Let's say
Jason  14:10  Ouch!
Jean  14:23   But it's vital
Lita T  14:24   she was tense.
Jean  14:25  I think it just shows how important every individual in the medical system is
Lita T  14:29   right
Jean  14:30   And how much of an eff... you know how much they can
Lita T  14:32  put you to ease
Jean  14:33  Yeah, they can put you at ease and it takes someone who really cares about the person, you know, to accomplish that and I think we need more people out there that actually care about people and it does it makes a significant difference.
Lita T  14:46  I'm hoping that all of the future medical people in the world are listening to this podcast
Jean  14:50  we do have a lot of medical students listening
Lita T  14:52  Yes, pay attention to your patient
Jason  14:55  Yes that really is important. Yeah, paying attention to the to the To the individual not just simply seeing them as as a patient. And yeah, I think I believe I've heard the term white coat syndrome.
Lita T  15:10  Uhhuuh
Jason  15:10  My mom was telling me how she always used to test really high on blood pressure tests. Whenever she was in the in the, to see her doctor, and that was simply because just the fact that she was getting it tested would always just stress her out.
Lita T  15:25  Right
Jean  15:26  And it, Yeah. So if you have someone that puts you at ease that that can be very helpful, but inconclusive or incomplete test is not a you know, a completed testing.
Lita T  15:35   No. Right.
Jean  15:36  Sorry that you had to go through that.
Lita T  15:37  Right. Well, I'm glad you finally got it, sorted out.
Jean  15:40  Thank goodness, you know, you advocated for yourself, and were able to find a physician that would listen to you as well.
Lita T  15:45  That's important. Well, I'm not sure if there are misconceptions about POTs. But what would what do you think the most common misconceptions about Fibromyalgia are?
Jason  15:56  I would say that it's all in our heads. I have heard, I've heard that many times. I think that people who are not familiar with chronic illness, have a tendency to discount other people's suffering and their pain and their fatigue levels, simply because it's invisible. And and I think so many people have it in their heads that they just have it in their heads what somebody will look like who is suffering, they mistake what they're familiar with, as acute pain, where it's this very intense feeling. And people are gritting their teeth, with chronic pain, which is something that people have adapted to living with over years and years. And we still experience it all the time. But we're not necessarily showing it. We simply learned to internalize it, and try to focus on how we can best live with it. And then one other big misconception with fibromyalgia. I think a lot of people see it, and a lot of doctors actually think it only affects women. It is predominantly women, but men can develop Fibromyalgia as well. And I'm living proof of that.
Lita T  17:12  Right right
Jean  17:12  Yeah, we have interviewed other other men with fibromyalgia. And we were kind of shocked to hear that. That's the that's a popular misconception,
Lita T  17:22  right
Jean  17:23   Because I never imagined you know, that that would be something that would affect. Yeah, but okay. I have two questions for you. How are you currently being treated? And are your conditions? Is there a in the future? You know, do they anticipate that these are things that can be like, Is there a cure out there in the future?
Jason  17:42  Yeah, so in terms of being treated, I know it's different for everybody. But what I have found most effective is simply a self treatment plan. So for me, I focus on eating a good diet, lots of vegetables and fruit. I getting the right medication for me that that took many years to find the right one for me, mind being amitriptyline. Everybody, things work differently for everybody. And then also incorporating some mindfulness where I just work, breathing, paying attention to my body sensations, tuning into my body throughout the day. And then, for me movement as well. That's been really huge. For a while I was doing Tai Chi, and I was even doing a waterbase tai chi, they had a program down at the hospital, I went to where we got to go through all the movements in this group atmosphere. And I found that really empowering as well. Just knowing that other you're in the pool with other people with chronic illness, and you're all going through the same thing together. So yeah, just overall that and having a good sleep hygiene, I turned off all my devices an hour or two before bed every single night and I try to just relax, I will even turn off all the lights in my on my floor and just have candlelight so that I can help relax my mind.
Lita T  19:09  Well that's good
Jason  19:10  So those are Yeah, those are the main treatment plans. And then in terms of fibromyalgia, Fibromyalgia being curable. I know that a small portion of patients do experience full remission. I don't personally focus on curing my illness, it would be really nice if it happened. But I remember my occupational therapist, one once told me not to make dead people goals and dead people can't feel any pain. So I can't if I can't fully control how my pain levels are I try to focus on what I can influence and work to be coming. I guess just work towards improving functionality. And then I've generally found that when my functionality does improve that my pain level usually follow suits as well.
Jean  20:02  That's fantastic.
Lita T  20:02  Yeah, that's good...
Jean  20:03  that's very inspiring.
Lita T  20:04  Right Right, for sure.
Jason  20:05  Thank you.
Lita T  20:07  Do you have any advice for someone that has been recently diagnosed with a chronic illness?
Jason  20:12  Yeah, I think finding your social support system is really, really key. For anyone with a chronic illness, it can be very, very isolating. I think a lot of us who are chronically ill have friends drop out of our lives for whatever reason. It's not personal, it's not a reflection of you. And I've just found that it's best to focus on whoever has stayed. And just let them know regularly how much their support means to you and get involved with the online community I found that can be helpful as well.
Lita T  20:48  Well, that's good advice.
Jean  20:49  Yeah. And it sounds like you've established a really nice rapport with everyone in your podcast network as well. And you guys have a, you know, a great group there and produce some really quality podcasts.
Jason  21:03  Yeah, that's been wonderful. Just connecting with so many people connecting with listeners hearing from them. Yeah.
Jean  21:09  And what other role have your friends and family taken over the course of this journey? I know your parents have been very important to you, right?
Jason  21:18  Yeah, they've been super
Jean  21:19   it was a very leading question.
Lita T  21:21   (laughter)
Jason  21:21  Yeah, yeah. they've they've been huge. My parents. Now I fell very ill, as I mentioned earlier, around 2016. And around that time, I didn't have the ability to even take care of all my medical stuff, like getting prepared for appointments, keeping track of all that stuff, going to pick up all my medication, doing my research on all the different medications or the different tests that I was being sent for. So really, my mom ended up handling, essentially, all of that, in addition to being my full time caregivers for a couple of years, and I mean, even now, I've improved quite a bit. But even now, I have to rely on them quite a bit for meal preparation and other tasks, when I'm not able to handle them myself. And then, in terms of friends, oh, sorry, I should also just mention my I've got a lot of other family members who have been really great, especially my sister, Lisa, she's been amazing and always checked in on me whenever I was really feeling down. And then in terms of friends. I, yeah, I am incredibly blessed in that area too, in that when I was really sick. And there's a period of about eight months where I didn't, I only left bed very infrequently, and was very, very depressed, had thoughts of suicidal ideation, and all that. And there wasn't a span of time of more than two days, when I didn't get a visitor coming by, to just check in on me, and to come hang out with me. It's not the most exciting thing for my friends to come and do and, and sit by my bedside. And often I would barely even be able to contribute to the conversation, it would be them mostly doing most of the talking. So they were really my lifeline. And they were a huge reason why I was able to keep going and until I was able to receive the proper supports to allow me to recover.
Lita T  23:31  That's excellent.
Jean  23:32  Yeah that's, that's wonderful. I'm glad that you have those people in your life and that they've been so supportive. Jason, with the pandemic and everything that's been going on, you said you used to, you know, be able to go to the gym at the hospital. How have How have things change over the course of the past year? And what modifications Have you made to, you know, still stay active and do things? And, you know, in keep in contact with friends and family, when everything has been in lockdown?
Jason  24:01  Yeah, it's been a lot harder. I've been doing zoom like a lot of other people for keeping in touch with people, for just keeping in touch with friends, but I do get zoom fatigue like everybody else, probably quicker than everybody else just due to having headaches and everything. Yeah, in terms of what else? I've been lots of phone calls. I've been doing social distance walks where I'll meet up with friends and we'll just all walk six feet away from each other
Jean  24:33  (giggle) Okay
Jason  24:33   six feet or more.
Jean  24:34   Okay.
Jason  24:35  And that's been a really good way to just keep in touch while also getting some exercise getting some fresh air. Yeah, not being able to go to the pool has been kind of tough. That's one of the things I really miss. That was a huge part of remaining social and, and all that and remaining active as well. And yeah, yeah, I've been fortunate I mean, I'm in Toronto here. For a good part of the pandemic, I have been able to have a small social circle. So I've had my brother, his wife and their kids within our social circle. And so yeah, being able to hang out with like a three year old and a two year old as they always make you feel young, and that is really improved my spirits.
Jean  25:24  Yeah, there, children can be, and and pets and everything can be a great distraction.
Lita T  25:28  Wait a minute, children and pets, you can't ball them up in the same thing.
Jean  25:32  Well we do chicken therapy, where we go to see the chickens,
Lita T  25:35 yeah we do, we do
Jean  25:36  nothing makes you laugh harder than watching, you know, chickens fight over a tomato, because it kind of looks like you know, some sort of weird horror movie and yeah, okay.
Lita T  25:45  (laughter)
Jean  25:46  Okay, sorry, I'm, we're getting way off topic.
Lita T  25:48  (laughter)
Jean  25:50  Jason, what additional advice or tips do you have for our listeners.
Jason  25:54  So, I would say, to just do your best job advocating for yourself. Or if you can't find a family member or friends who can, or friends who can, our medical system isn't... that the chronically ill often fall through the cracks of our medical system. So unfortunately, you do need to do some of that work yourself in terms of do your research before appointments, come prepared to every appointment with a summary of your recent medical history, and any questions you have for your doctors and any potential tests that you'd like to request. So you really have to become your own advocate there. And another thing is just find something that makes you happy, I know that our lives don't look the same way that they did prior to becoming ill. But it doesn't mean that I guess over time, we can develop the ability to adapt and find joy in different ways that we never could have imagined before becoming chronically ill. So yeah, find whatever, do whatever makes you happy.
Lita T  27:08  That's great.
Jean  27:09  Yeah wonderful advice
Lita T  27:10  right. Have you always lived in Canada?
Jason  27:14  I always have. Yeah,
Jean  27:15  You can hear from his accent
Jason  27:16  I live with my parents.
Lita T  27:17  No, no, I  was just curious. Because, you know, like, now we're kind of comparing apples and oranges, you know, the medical system in the United States compared to the medical system in Canada. And I think that we have the same problems here. And it is very important to always go to your doctor's office prepared. And like you're saying, do your research ahead of time. Because you know, you go to a doctor's office nowadays, and you're given like a minute and a half,
Jason  27:44  Yeah
Lita T  27:44   you know, you don't have a lot of screen time with your doctor.
Jason  27:47 Yes
Lita T  27:47  So you have more you can do ahead of time, the better.
Jason  27:51  Yeah, and I've noticed that doctors really appreciate it when you can give them like a 30 second briefing on everything that's happened with with your health, since they've last seen you it's a way for them to digest everything really quickly, and then be more efficient with your time. So I think that they really appreciate it as well.
Lita T  28:11  Right. Right. That That could be a career field.
Jean  28:14  Well, and I think
Lita T  28:15   No, I mean, like just just in order to teach people how to go to the doctor,
Jean  28:20  right? Well, maybe it could be included in your high school health class.
Lita T  28:24  Right. Okay. (laughter)
Jean  28:25  And I think nowadays, a lot of technology can also come into play where you can track your, you know, your headaches, and you can track your symptoms, and you can actually give your your physician or healthcare provider an actual, you know, a synopsis and a screenshot of what is actually happening with you on a day to day basis, because when it is a chronic illness, I think it's hard to quantify it. And I think
Jason  28:34  Yeah,
Jean  28:48  and things can help.
Jason  28:50  I think that stuff is is so great, too. And I've noticed, I noticed that before I started doing any of this, like tracking my medical history, I would go into an appointment. And so often, it would depend what I would say to the doctor would depend on how my day was going. If I was feeling depressed that day, it would just seem like everything is so completely bleak. And I would send that message to the doctor, whereas like, they would get a much more accurate depiction of what my recent medical history was if I was able to Yeah, like as you were saying, go in with any kind of metrics or anything that you've been tracking over time.
Lita T  29:26  Sure, sure. Well, Jason, how can our listeners learn more about you and your podcast?
Jason  29:33  Well, they can listen to my podcast "Discomfort Zone" on whichever podcast app they use. They can also go to "Invisible Not Broken dot com" to find my podcast, as well as all the other shows in our network and you can find me on social media. My handle is D Zone Podcast.
Lita T  29:52  Okay, excellent.
Jean  29:53  And you guys have a wonderful website and a well rounded collection of podcasts. So we're very impressed. And we're hoping to one day grow up and be more like you.  (Eh Ha!) Maybe? (laughter) Well, at least
Jason  30:06  You guys are great the way you are.
Lita T  30:08  At least we're staying active.
Jean  30:09  Yeah. Okay,
Lita T  30:10   mentally. (laughter)  Well, Jason, thank you very much for taking the time to talk with us today.
Jean  30:15  Thank you, Jason.
Jason  30:17  Thank you so much for having me.
Lita T  30:18  You're welcome. If our listeners have any questions or comments related to today's show, they can contact us at podcast [email protected] through our website, podcast, dx.com and Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram.
Ron  30:32  Please keep in mind that this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment, and before undertaking a new health care regime, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in taking it because it's something you've heard on this podcast
Jean  30:57  till next week.
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