#It's just a quick little 2-hour comic I thought would be funny

[hoes4hoseok]

how you get the girl part i: nightwing’s guardian angels

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your neighbor, heeseung, gets on your nerves. he’s full of himself, makes more noise than all of your neighbors combined in the middle of the night, spreads anti-superhero propaganda in your political science class, and, unfortunately, is the most attractive man you have ever laid eyes on.

pairing :: lee heeseung x fem!reader featuring :: jake sim, jeon somi, kim sunoo, and more! genres/au’s :: superhero au, neighbors to lovers, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst if you squint, nightwing!heeseung chapter warnings :: mentions of and references to sex, minor violence, suggestive chapter word count :: 3k tag list (open!) :: @thejjrl @grace1852 @tsunchani @hanniiesuckle17 @mjr4fnaf1997 @goldenhypen @3nh4luvr @hobistigma @ditzy-e @nomy0520 @woniewhite @koroktsuya author’s note :: prior knowledge of nightwing and DC comics is not necessary to read this work! also ty to @lethekoo for all your help :) playlist :: here’s to you

so…long time no see ('_') honestly i really never thought i’d return to this as of a few months ago, but my new writing class really has me feeling motivated! so i’m back :) i find it really funny that this chapter was supposed to come out march 31st of last year but HEY at least i’m back 🤧 anyways, i changed the prologue a little bit so you might wanna look over it again before reading this but TY TY TY FOR READING LOVE YA

1. Sincerity It matters what you do when you don’t think she’s looking. She can tell whether or not your heart is in the right place.

TWO DAYS LATER…

Heeseung was tired. It was 6 am. He had only just gotten home. His body ached from the particularly strenuous night, and yet all he could think about was 1. having to go to class again in a matter of hours and 2. the fact that someone was knocking on his door at the crack of dawn. “Be there in a second,” Heeseung groaned, peeling his suit off before quickly pulling on his pajamas.

Heeseung winced a little seeing Y/n standing at his door from the peephole. He was in no mood to be reprimanded, let alone interrogated. The whole ‘pretend you’re having sex’ cover was Jake’s idea, of course—and it was not working. It just gave his prickly neighbor a reason to be mad at (and potentially suspicious of) him. 

Seriously, he had stamina, but not that damn much.

Which is why he needed a new cover as soon as possible. And why he needed to open the door right that second.

“I know, I know, no sex, no fun, whatever,” he puffed as the door swung open.

Y/n smiled, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Oh, it’s alright, I slept fine,”

He could tell she hadn’t slept a wink. The circles under her eyes were the biggest giveaway. Nevertheless, she was fully dressed, woolen hat in her hand. Why was she lying?  

She wanted something. 

Heeseung had two options: turn her away and get some sleep, risking being reported (as she threatened every night but never seemed to do), or help her. He chose the latter. His brain would hate him for it later.

“Okay…so what do you want? Why are you knocking at this hour?” He asked, rubbing his shoulder.

Y/n met his gaze. Heeseung could tell from her hesitance that he was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. But alas, here she was.

“Do you happen to have a printer in your apartment?”

Heeseung heaved a sigh of relief upon realizing that the task didn’t require leaving his apartment or donating a pint of his blood (it’s happened before!) “Yeah, I do,”

“Do you mind if I use it real quick?” Y/n scooted straight past him, “The print center doesn’t open for an hour and I need to get this draft to the Scoop before then,” she explained, looking around the room cautiously. Honestly, for a woman who thought her neighbor was a sex addict, Heeseung didn’t blame her for expecting his place to be something of a sex dungeon.

“Sure,” he closed the door behind her, “just send me the file on my school email,”

“Thanks. I already did,” Heeseung tilted his head in amusement at her confidence, “I was really counting on you letting me use your printer, I knew you had one. Figured you owed me a night of your sleep,” Y/n grinned as she walked around the room.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” he replied, opening his laptop as he stood by his desk, “I’m sorry, it’s just that we usually can’t meet at her place.”

Y/n froze in place, turning her head toward the man with a smirk on her face. “Hold on…‘her’ singular?”

“Yup, my girlfriend,” Heeseung looked up briefly to confirm before looking back to his computer, “she lives with her dad, so that makes it kind of hard to spend time at her place,”

Heeseung’s jaw tensed up. He didn’t like bending the truth, but it came with the job.

“Ooh, exciting! What’s her name?” Y/n inquired, scurrying over to Heeseung as he received the printout.

“None of your business, hon’” Heeseung sneered, placing the freshly printed article against her chest. “Anyways, debt repaid. Take it,”

Y/n groaned, “you’re no fun. It’s like our late-night exchanges mean nothing to you,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Heeseung sighed sarcastically, “I appreciate it so much when you look for an excuse to talk to me every night!”

Y/n blinked repeatedly in surprise. Fuck. Heeseung messed up. Was she offended?

To his relief, Y/n just scoffed as she walked past him. “Well, thanks anyways,”

“Anytime,” Heeseung replied as he turned around, “...but not really. Don’t come again unless I owe you another favor,”

“I don’t plan on it. See you in class. And please, don’t leave right at the beginning again, or else we’ll have to hear the ‘importance of attendance’ speech for the second time in the week,”

It took every shred of Heeseung’s willpower to not make a smart remark about how Y/n wanted to see him again, but he resisted. It would have been overcompensating.

Y/n was thrilled to hear about this new development in the Lee Heeseung saga—he had a girlfriend! This meant he had sex with the same girl for hours every night and this mystery girlfriend managed to arrive and leave without being seen by the neighbors. Impressive! She couldn’t wait to tell Somi. So, she didn’t. 

“He has a girlfriend?!” Somi exclaimed, sipping her morning coffee, “That’s insane!” 

The two of them met at the coffee shop outside Y/n’s building before class whenever they woke up early enough. Honestly, it wasn’t a common occurrence.

“Well, it’s not that insane, considering that the moans sound pretty similar every night,” Y/n reasoned, taking a bite of her bagel, “I guess I thought he had a super specific type? Now that I say it out loud, I’m surprised the girlfriend thing didn’t cross my mind earlier,”

Somi shrugged, “nope. The man seems like a fuckboy. I don’t blame you for jumping to conclusions. It’s not like you spread rumors about him,”

“True, I’m innocent,” Y/n let out an awkward laugh.

“So,” Somi rubbed her hands together in anticipation before picking up the small packet on the table, “how’s your advice piece going?”

“I came up with an idea!” Y/n beamed with pride, “I’m gonna write about five ways to win a woman’s heart. Or ‘get the girl’. They both sound a little misogynistic, but I’ll make it work,”

Somi waited a moment before replying, “...is that all you’ve got? A number?”

“Well, I have one idea that I wrote about for the first draft that I submitted today,” Y/n explained, “I tried to make it as universal as I could,”

“Go on, read it,”

“Sincerity,” she summarized the page she had typed, “none of the following tips matter unless you’re sincere. Women can tell if you’re just trying to do something to get in their pants—it’s imperative that you do these things because you care,”

“Well, it’s certainly true,” Somi nodded, “wording needs some adjustment, but good work,”

“My essay is already kicking my ass, having you in the mix will not help,” Y/n threw a playful punch at her friend’s shoulder. “Now tell me about the real article here. Got any new stuff on Nightwing?” 

“Nothing from the source himself, obviously,” Somi sighed, “I was kidding myself to think I could get a word in with him. I’m not even awake when he’s out. He was patrolling this morning from 3 AM to 5 AM according to the Nightwing subreddit,”

“You should pull an all-nighter next weekend,” Y/n joked, “maybe then you’d get him,”

“I really would if I didn’t have responsibilities to take care of during the day,” Somi groaned, “this article could make or break my career,”

“Well, what do you have?” Y/n asked, “We can start somewhere other than his personal account,”

Somi straightened up, opening her notebook on the coffee table, “I did find some info on the guy who wrote the slander article,”

“Ooh, okay,”

“Apparently, ‘Patrick Lumbard’ isn’t his name—I can’t find his real one yet, but I looked him up in the city records and there was nothing,” Somi wiggled her eyebrows, “but, according to the Scoop’s records, he got fired from his last job, yet he’s writing front-page articles after four months of being here!” 

“Watch out Lois Lane, here comes Jeon Somi,” Y/n giggled. “Nice job!”

“And here's the kicker—I looked up a digital archive of a 2003 article about our new boss, Mr. Kim, last week,” the blonde explained, “I took notes on it, but that doesn’t mean much because the article is gone. It isn’t in the records or online,”

“What?” Y/n furrowed her eyebrows as she took the last bite of her bagel.

“Yeah, I can't see why,” Somi continued, frustration seeping through her voice, “the article was pretty neutral; it just described his acquisition of an abandoned Wayne Enterprises project,”

“Weird. Wayne Enterprises is a little fishy if you ask me,” Y/n lied back in her chair, finishing off her drink. “Keep me posted. Good luck,”

“Of course,” Somi smiled, grabbing the trash from the table and tossing it in the bin beside her, “But I think you’ll need the luck for class with Heeseung,”

“You see, these vigilantes, particularly this Nightwing guy, is doing nothing for Bludhaven,” the professor claimed, removing his glasses, “they spread fear and undermine our police,”

Y/n took pride in the fact that typically, her professors liked her. Sure, sometimes her grades wavered, but she was a well-favored student. But then, in a way-too-hot room with 30 students all facing the center, that track record was at risk.

“I disagree,”

Jake. Before Monday, Y/n had never expected him to be in this class—but she had never been happier to hear his voice than now.

“Well…this is a discussion,” the man replied, “explain your stance, Mr. Sim,”

“I think he’s helping us out,” Jake shrugged. “Sure, ideally, we wouldn’t need him to save us every night, but we do. Before Nightwing got here, this city wasn’t safe for any of us,”

Whew. And Y/n didn’t have to say a word! 

“How do we know that he has our best interest at heart?”

“That’s a good point, young man,” Professor Jung pointed towards the seat adjacent to Jake’s where…Lee Heeseung sat. Of course. As if Y/n didn’t have enough reasons to dislike him. Screw him and his t-shirt for knowing the professor would crank the heat up way too high. What was even worse is that he did have a point.

“We don’t know,” Y/n piped in, the already hot room feeling even more stuffy as she stared lasers into Heeseung, “But look at Gotham and how much Batman has improved the overall safety and morale of the city—maybe it’s worth the risk if Nightwing could do something similar here,”

“People being above the power of law enforcement is dangerous,” Heeseung countered, staring right back at the woman across from him. 

‘Hold on…was that a condescending smirk on his face? Right now?’ Y/n was pissed. The lack of sleep was catching up to her.

“Yeah but—” Y/n cut Jake off before he could even start.

“The rich already are,” Y/n scoffed, “and if law enforcement can’t serve us all, maybe heroes that do are exactly what we need,”

“And with that, our discussion comes to a close,” Professor Jung interjected, “we started too late to have a full-blown debate, sorry about that. Great job, everyone,”

Y/n was proud of herself for countering the word of the professor and formulating her argument so fast. She could not, however, understand what she did that was so worthy of ridicule that Jake started giggling the moment class was dismissed.

The nap. It was the best part of Y/n’s day ever since Lee Heeseung and his girlfriend started having sex in her building. Even if she wished it could restore her life free of consequences, it could not. 

The first problem it brought was that she always woke up feeling like she had just gotten off a 10-hour flight. The better the nap was, the more this rang true.

And, as expected, the second consequence was that it made her sleep schedule even more irregular than it already was. Usually, when she couldn’t sleep later in the night because of Heeseung, Y/n would put in her earbuds and hope for the best. But on the nights that she snuck in a nap? Hopeless.

Tonight was one of those nights. The lights were off, the moans were louder than ever, and she was wide awake. Somehow, knowing Heeseung had a girlfriend made the noise even more unbearable. A little. She wouldn’t be able to tell you why if you asked. Regardless, she needed air.

Usually, Y/n would have been smart enough to not go walking alone in the middle of the night in Bludhaven. She’s no idiot. But she had pepper spray and a fairly strong taser on hand. She was going to be fine. (I promise!)

There’s something about nighttime in Bludhaven that Y/n found so special. It was unsafe in areas, certainly, but every once in a while, the night felt like one that a synth-pop album would be written about. Somehow, it made her miss her family and friends back home while making her feel glad to be right where she was at the same time. On nights like these, she would get a coffee and go for a short stroll—usually with Somi.

“Hi, can I get a small decaf coffee? Two sugars, two creamers?”

Brenda’s Cafe. Best coffee in New Jersey. Open 24 hours (now that Nightwing is around).

“Sure, coming right up,” The barista smiled, taking the cash from your hand and heading to the back.

“RING, RING!”

Y/n scrambled to reach her phone, “Hello?”

“Y/n! How’s it going?”

“Sunoo,” the woman grinned as she paced around the cafe, “hi! How’d you know I was awake?”

“Eh, figured it was worth a shot with the whole neighbor problem I keep hearing about—you have the sleep schedule of a cat who works full-time now,”

Sunoo and Y/n had known each other since middle school. Now, Sunoo was working on a movie on the opposite coast. It was difficult to time their calls with his packed schedule, to say the least.

“Yeah,” Y/n replied with an amused tone, “How are you? How are your fancy schmancy show-biz friends?”

“Well, I certainly made some more,” Sunoo began, “the cast of this movie is hilarious and they take me out to dinner all the time, so we’re getting closer,”

“Yes, I love to hear it!” Y/n exclaimed, grabbing her coffee from the barista’s hand and giving a nod of thanks before heading toward the exit.

“And how’s the hot snickerdoodle neighbor?”

Y/n’s eyes widened as she pushed the door open, “I called him hot one time. And that was before I knew he was a jerk…that had a girlfriend,”

“Girlfriend, huh?” Y/n could hear Sunoo’s misplaced pity through the phone. “That sucks,”

“No, it does not suck,” she insisted, adjusting her scarf, “I’m fine. Besides, you know that I’m trying to graduate this semester. That’s the only reason I haven’t reported the guy,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sunoo dismissed her, “still sucks,”

Y/n rolled her eyes. He was not going to let this go. “Anyways, how is your sist—WOAH!”

Y/n’s phone and coffee flung out of her hand as she was firmly pushed towards the road, nearly falling to the ground if it wasn’t for another force pulling her back by the jacket.

Y/n paused for a moment in disbelief. What the fuck just happened? 

“Y/n?” the woman heard Sunoo’s voice coming from her phone quietly between the sounds of footsteps getting further and further away. 

Her phone was safely lying on the side of the road. Her coffee? Not so much. It had spilled everywhere. Including her new coat. But as thoughts raced through Y/n’s head, her coat was the furthest thing from it. ‘Someone pushed me because they were being chased…by someone who took the time to save me,’

Her disbelief quickly turned to excitement as she put the pieces together. Could the person who saved her have been Nightwing? 

“Y/n, what happened? Are you okay? Do I need to call Somi?”

Y/n scrambled to her retrieve her phone, “I’m fine! I’ve gotta run, but I’ll explain everything tomorrow,”

“Wait, hold o—”

“Bye!”

She thought about calling Somi right that second, but she needed confirmation. So she made the questionable decision to follow them. Somi’s reporter instincts were clearly rubbing off on her.

After walking with a comical level of caution for a few minutes, Y/n decided to turn back. As I said before, Y/n is not an idiot. She makes educated choices. 

What. A. Night. She was eager to tell Somi—despite the fact that she’d criticize Y/n’s poor educated choices, she would be happy too. 

All of a sudden, interrupting her train of thought, Y/n heard a whistle from across the road. 

There he stood, in all his blue and black glory—Nightwing.

A skin-tight black suit with blue accents adorned his tall frame and he had a pair of nunchucks in his right hand, which he tucked away before placing a cup of coffee on the ground next to him.

This was a moment that Y/n would remember for years to come. But right now, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Nightwing, the man responsible for taking down the biggest supervillains and mobs in Bludhaven…bought her a coffee. She waved to him in gratitude, to which he waved back with a smile on his face before disappearing into the shadows.

After he left, Y/n rushed over to retrieve the coffee cup, her heart racing with elation.

Brenda’s Cafe Start your day with a smile! decaf coffee two sugars two creamers

1. Sincerity Do things she appreciates because it’s the right thing to do for someone you really like as a person. It matters what you do when you don’t think she’s looking. She can tell whether or not your heart is in the right place.

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#how you get the girl 🌃 #hoes4hoseok #lee heeseung imagines #kpop imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #heeseung imagines #heeseung fluff #heeseung x reader #heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen

[zeenbean]

im bored so heres my oc description

so this was just a quick sketch. i dont reall like the style but whatever. also this storry is written to be in comic so it has a lot of character developtments and main aspects of a story

1)lola

idk why she looks so weird but anyway. she's best friend of Amy(mentioned below) she's just living, now when holiday is starting she got summer job in some coffee shop. the same coffee shop where Amy got the job. they became friends. yay. i don't have much more than that i was thinking about Gia killing her(DONT ASK ME WHY I DUNNO) but she kinda new.

2)amy

she's the main character. she has a lot of lore for some reason and her pre-version was something COMPLETELY different. but ill talk about that later. one time she goes home after school and any of her parents neither her sister aren't home. its weird, she waits, after two hours its weird. she calls the 911(not really were livin' in Czechia) and bla bla she gots teleported to another reality where she is dead. than she gots teleported back. fast forward to present day, she's in another reality, she cot control about the porting and she has some other powers like idk reality manipulation but she like can only change color of some pencils or something. than she meets kiri, bla bla, than she mets gia, version of her from another universe, bla bla, than she almost gets killed by ms B(yes its not full name i was just too bored to actually give her some name and personality of any other than being a bitch, which is kinda funny saying her "name" is ms B. in older stages she actually had a name, beliangage, but that was too long, sounded weird and also sounded for some reason like beldam from Coraline. back to Amy, I'm ending with her being in her universe after fixing what Gia did in the drawing "don't trust short-haired version of me" and someone calling on her phone. it was her "missing" mom. actually, the missing parents was one of the oldest ideas bcs i didn't wanted the orphan cliché. her parent went "missing" because Gia at that time wanted to delete her parent from reality and accidentally deleting them from EVERY universe. bye this was long.

3)gia

what am i supposed to say. she stopped talking to her family bcs she found out about her powers and the amazing ms b, like girl- anyways, she's weird. she likes the idea of the whole universe being deleted except one, even though ms b wanted more amy to help her and that is the reason why gia is jealous of amy, she wanted to be the best one. bla bla, she gets mad ot her for something, she pretends to be her in the news, the drawing "dont trust short-haird version of me" happens and she realizes what se had done. but no redemption. were not doing that here. shes supposed to be here bcs even tho she could be "bad" and amy "good", theyre there to compliment eachother nd show that amy. is. not. good. pls. im not doing this anymore.

4)kiri

starting with my favorite, namelogy(does that even exist?) a lot of people thought that the name is from avatar, but i had the idea of her even before. ind the name comes from...cheese. i need help. in our country theres like this cheese spread thats called "cheese kiri" and i thought it would be so funny if her name was kiri too. potentionally a punchline for a joke that would be too cringe to even be written in the script. so about kiri, she just like spawned to amys life, she was like one of the customers and she forgot to do something with her eyes and amy was like wtf so she asked her, she didnt respond, but than she gave her a little note with like can you come please outside at 17:00 i need to tell you something, than telling her something and than disappearing💀. anyways, i thought about that lot but i was thinking if her and amy maybe getting together. i didnt want romance in that story bs i dont really enjoy romance media myself(except good omens, everything except good omens, GO is consuming my brain for the last year and i dunno what to do) so idk.

anyway, little bit of namelogy for the other ppl. the most generic one is gia, i just searched some names. originally amy was supposed to be gia and gia also gia but that would be too much confusing for everyone, even i now mess up somethings their names. amy how i said was supposed to be gia but than i heard the sonf from Britney Spears "if u seek amy" for thr bazzilionth time and thought it would be really good idea to net have two characters that almost look the same,ARE THE SAME PERSON and have the same name so i just picked amy. i actually have a classmate and exbestfriend amy and ppl around me thought she was the inspiration for the name but no, and if ur reading this amy, no sorry, ur not special. and the origin of lola? when i thought about naming her, it was around that time when the song "her name was lola, she was a show girl" was trending so i just went for lola. no funny story, no cheese.

okey this was a lot of work. english is not my first language so im sorry if there was some mistakes. if this wasn't about my ocs, id give it to my english teacher to give me some extra grade bcs she cant speak English and she gives me bad grades just bcs she marks some shit wrong even if its right.

thats it, bye.

#artwork #art #digital art #digital illustration #help #oc #oc art #my ocs #original character #oc rp #oc lore #oc stuff #ocs #my characters #artists on tumblr #drawing

[birdstooth]

Drawing MASTERCLASS

lol jk thought I’d show some of the process here in case your other favs aren’t online and u have a couple of min to waste while waiting for the bus

🎵Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair🎶

On the left, u have janky first draft, and on the right, u have less janky second draft😅. Depending on how much time I spent on draft 2, I might do a final cleaner version, and then then add colours :)

My hard limit for a doodle/comic is 3 drafts for reasons that I will go into below, but basically I find that if I try too hard, it triggers the perfectionist demon and then it’s not fun anymore lmaoo

For me, 2-3 drafts is the balance between making something I can look at without cringing, and still have fun drawing lines and shapes.

Also it’s ok to have a very very, objectively bad first draft. My brain is like Swiss cheese so if I spend too long trying to get something down on (virtual) paper by making it look nice, half the idea floats away before I can make a record of it.

So first of all, since this is the unofficial website for ppl with crippling anxiety (roll call! 🙋‍♀️), just thought I’d say: if u are on the fence about posting your [content] online, go for it!!

I used to look at all this really cool [content] (art, writing, photography w/e) and be like “wow, that’s some good content! I’ve got a long ways to go before my content can reach that standard!”.

Or sometimes, I would see amazing content with very few notes and think “whoa, if this extremely accurate recreation of the Mona Lisa made with used gum found under park benches has only 12 notes, it’s not really worth posting what I have, right?”

But then at some point I decided that it was easier (for me) to make stuff that was vaguely funny instead of “good”, so I stopped trying to draw the perfect shapes with the perfect shading, etc. and just went with like, the minimum accuracy required for an object to be recognizable lol.

I’m not saying don’t chase your dreams or whatever, but try not to force yourself into a style or content type that doesn’t suit you. I have a short attention span and a zillion ideas, so for me, it’s actually much more satisfying to make these goofy little doodles bc I can do quick sketches between procrastinating at work, or while I’m watching my dinner rotate in the microwave 🥲.

When I was in my “every drawing must be perfect” phase, I would spend hours on making sure the proportions were realistic, and the lines were clean, and spend days or weeks in a single piece. Some people are suited to this kind of work and have the patience to see it through, but for me it was very unsatisfying and sapped my motivation so I decided to be realistic about my abilities + the time I have available to improve my skills (I think this is very important bc u might have the patience and the work ethic to practice, practice, practice until you are at the top of your game, but if you have a job or school or other obligations, it might not fit into your schedule) and do a kind of compromise.

Yeah, I’m still envious of other people’s content and no, I don’t think my content is the BEST I can do, but it’s a balance between doing what I like and getting satisfaction out of it. Sometimes, if you push yourself too hard, you end up hating what was supposed to be a hobby, u know?

#very tldr #sketches #wips #thx for coming to my ted talk #how the sausage is made

[chiscribbs]

Varian realized very quickly that Milo was probably not the best person to have in a lab full of volatile chemicals.

More crossover fun - this time with the two best and probably most destructive Disney Boys to ever grace our screens! ...and a lightly-toasted raccoon.

#Decided to just clean up the sketches a bit for this one rather than outlining. #It's just a quick little 2-hour comic I thought would be funny #mml x tts crossover #varian #milo murphy #ruddiger #tangled the series #milo murphy's law #scribbles4smiles #artrehearsals

[random-tinies]

Crowza - 2

Hey, I’m on AO3 too! It’ll be the first thing updated when I finish a chapter from now on, but only by like, a few hours. :P I’ll be updating this fic on the first of every month so you guys know when to expect it next. This was sitting in my Docs almost done for weeks and I finally sat down and went “I’m writing the rest of this.” and did it, so here’s chapter two!

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AO3 Link 

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Sunlight filters through the branches and leaves of the old oak. Phil lifts a wing over his face, grumbling about how the sun is always at the perfect angle to blind him every morning. Of course, he does this song and dance every spring. He’s not exactly an early bird, which is why he never blocks it. It helps him get up in the morning.

The tiny bird hybrid resigns to his fate and sits up, blinking blearily at his old home. A torn picture of his boys hangs on the far end of the hollow. He grins, happy to be greeted by their faces. The photo had been yoinked last year when it fell out of Tommy’s jacket during one of his more daring excursions. Always so chaotic, that one, Philza chuckles to himself as the thought crosses his mind. Good memories.

He walks to his stash of nuts and jerky and various other bits of food he collected and preserved the autumn before migration. He crafts a quick granola bar, thanking his lucky stars that chocolate is so easily preserved, and enjoys a sweet homemade breakfast. Pleased chirps escape him as he basks in the perfect simplicity of it all.

Today is full of plans. A lot can happen in a few months and Phil needs to make sure there’s no new predators in the area that might get the jump on him, so he’s going to patrol the area. His territory needs to be safe. He’s always very careful about going about this. It’s rare, but if humans decide to start building near him, he’d need to know.

That and he needs somewhere to get coffee. He’d think that centuries of drinking the stuff would convince him to invent a tiny coffee machine, but why create something that will break eventually when he can just sneak into a human’s house and borrow enough to last him a month of two? Of course, he won’t be borrowing that much today, but the next time all three boys leave the house, he’s certainly going to stock up. Today, he just needs a little pick-me-up.

Phil walks to the edge of his home and ducks under the branches protecting it from outsiders, then hops up them like a staircase to get the best vantage point to take off flying. A low mist hovers over the pine forest, the sun’s rays burning away at it and painting the morning in brilliant hues of gold. Phil launches himself into the air, powerful flaps disturbing the mist and sending him high above the trees. The sky above is void of clouds as he spreads his wings and coasts. The air he breathes chills his lungs but the morning sun provides a warm contrast to the feeling. Appreciation for the peace fills his chest as if it were something physical.

Spring truly is his favorite season. The crisp scent of pines and melting snow permeates the air. A few shy birds send their song up, declaring their presence to the world. This is home, this is where he loves to be, where he longs to be every winter when he has to migrate south. Occasionally, a crow joins him in the air, lazily flapping in the soft breeze.

Phil casts his eyes towards the ground, watching for any stray movements. He’d heard of mountain lions moving into the area from Kristin. They’re fleeing the forest fires west of them, she’d said. She thought maybe they were the cause of the odd feeling she has and Phil was inclined to agree, but you can never be too careful. Eventually, after finding nothing, he flies to the humble house his boys call home.

When the birdman reaches the cabin that houses his boys and nothing is amiss, he decides to land in a nearby tree and rest. The sun had climbed to about midday and he has yet to find anything that would tip him off. He fluffs his feathers as a chill sets in, the branches and needles of the tree warding off the sunlight, and takes out some squirrel jerky he packed for lunch. Perhaps it simply isn’t time to find this ominous omen Kristin gave him and he’s jumping the gun.

The door to the home opens and two people step out. It’s the blonde and brunette from the previous day. Philza watches them as they talk about something with low voices. It’s a bit odd to hear the youngest one talking so softly. Tommy’s usually boisterous and loud, throwing banter back and forth with Wilbur and giving the occasional sibling shove.

Philza hums as he takes another bite of jerky. When he goes on his coffee run inside the house, perhaps he’ll look for any clues. The thought that something could be wrong with them twists a knot of worry in his stomach. A chill goes down his spine as he realizes he hasn’t seen Techno out and about these last few days. He forgets any plans to raid the house later and throws all caution to the wind. Oh Ender, please let him be okay and not deathly ill or something.

Tommy and Wilbur climb into the red pickup next to their house and drive away. Phil immediately swoops down out of his tree and soars the short distance to the old cabin, flapping to slow himself so he can land quietly. It was his saving grace that they like to decorate the windows so he doesn’t crash into them all the time. He flap-hops around the house until he finds a window cracked open and slowly opens it further so he can crawl inside. It’s harder to find open windows further into the season since so many bugs come out.

He listens hard and looks around for any movement, staying stock still.

Nothing, the house is silent, save for the crackle of the fireplace.

He carefully steps in further, wings poised to take off at any given moment. The inside is just as cozy as the outside. The walls are decorated with photos of the trio, of a family Philza has watched grow up over the years. It’s surprisingly clean, the hand-knitted rainbow blanket folded over the back of the old leather couch. It smells like pine smoke and coffee, and bacon. Phil would find it funny if he wasn’t so worried for Techno at that moment. He hops about the living room, making his way towards the kitchen. If he can’t find anything here, he may as well get some coffee.

There’s nothing amiss on the coffee table. Phil’s claws leave tiny indentations on the softwood as he walks across it. The lamp next to him offers a little bit of light but he can see fine with the natural light coming through the windows. There’s an ad for an animal shelter in the newspaper, a comic making fun of teenagers with phones, news of the new president, and an article about a pipeline being built sometime next year. The birdman frowns at that, making a mental note. He’ll need to put an end to that before it ruins his home. He shakes his head. Right now is not the time! He needs to see if there’s anything wrong! His gaze gets caught by the fashion magazine open to a page on robes and turns a few pages, admiring the modern clothes that differ so much from his own- Oh right! Techno!

He flaps into the kitchen and trots across the counter towards the calendar hanging on the fridge. Today is circled in red with the word “ADOPTION” in messy, bold lettering. Adoption? Techno and Wilbur aren’t married, right? They can’t adopt children, right? Confusion replaces the worry in his mind but he shrugs. As far as Phil can tell by all the clues, Techno isn’t in any danger and it’s safe to get some coffee from the pot on the counter opposite of him. He hops over and crouches on the edge, dipping his rabbit-skin waterskin in and filling it full of the delicious drug.

There’s a cough from upstairs in the attic and Philza nearly jumps out of his skin. His feet slip on the edge of the pot and his wings flare out to make up for the sudden loss of balance. The mug next to him falls off the counter and shatters on the linoleum flooring with a loud crash. Oh god, oh fuck. There’s no way Techno didn’t hear that. The bird hybrid quickly reaches into the pot and retrieves his waterskin and swiftly flies back to the window, heart pounding.

He knows he’s leaving a few feathers behind, but it doesn’t matter as long as he himself doesn’t get caught. He can hear the telltale creaks of a ladder as he takes off into the open air again, inhaling deeply and landing back in his tree. What was he thinking?! Going to check on one of the beans?! He put himself in unnecessary danger just for some person he got way too attached to!

From the safety of his branch, Phil watches Techno shut the window he’d made his escape from. The piglin hybrid seems fine, no hint of any severe illnesses. The cough didn’t even sound that bad, like he was just clearing his throat. That was too close. He can’t let it happen again. Phil takes a swig of his coffee and flies off to keep scouting out his territory. I’m going to give myself a nice preen tonight, he thinks as he coasts over the trees. That nearly gave me a heart attack.

He goes back to doing his routine check-ups and patrolling around his territory, promising himself he would do better to keep himself safe. Surely he’s not losing his edge, right? Surely not…

#crowza au #crowza #sbi #crowza chapter 2 #philza #dsmp fanfic #sleepy bois fanfic #sleepy bois inc #sbi family dynamic #sbi family au #technoblade #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tiny philza #tiny!philza #tiny!phil #1.6k words #g/t #g/t writing #mcyt g/t #mcyt #dsmp #dream smp g/t #random writings #my posts

[freakie-deakie]

Lucas // How To: Kill an Idea

i have been really struggling with feeling numb lately and i super projected that onto this character. i really do apologize if it doesn’t make for the most interesting read. i may or may not end up rewriting this when i’m feeling better.

Warnings: emotional numbness and detachment

Masterlist

THIS IS PART 2!!! Read part one here: How To: Hurt My Feelings

Lucas x Reader (angst // 7.3k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny

The way the lights reflected off the water brought only distant memories of the Han flowing through the city of Seoul and mirroring the life around it. The bustle of the city, the calm of the river banks. The things that you neighbored so long ago.

You could become so lost in the remnants of the past - that you would forget to lose yourself in the readiness of the moment.

You owed the Garonne. After tirelessly looking over you for months on end, you owed her your presence at the very least. How dare you look at her in all of her beauty and only think of another.

She smiled at you nonetheless. The Garonne sat with you one last night and told you how much she would miss you - how much all of Bordeaux would miss you. She told you that the stone buildings, the ones in the alleyway that you cut through every night as you return to your dorm, didn't know what they were going to do without you. She told you that the little birds that had nested outside of your window had practiced a sadder song to sing after you left. She swore that the lights in the city shone brighter than they ever had before when you landed and that they would fade upon your departure.

She made you promise that you would come back to see all of them: the buildings, the birds, and the lights. On your own accord, you promised you would come back to see her.

The Garonne waved you off that night, sending you to bed and wishing you a restful slumber and a safe flight in the morning.

Tired and stiff, you limp out of the terminal with your laptop clutched to your chest and a yawn escaping your lips. You mindlessly followed the crowd of other travelers to baggage claim and patiently waited for your suitcase to be sorted onto the conveyor belt.

"Pardon me, Mademoiselle," a familiar voice reached your ears, "I believe a poor boy has been waiting far too long to see you here."

You spun on your heel, a bright smile suddenly overtaking your features. "Lucas," you call quietly as you envelop him in a tight hug. You had barely moved for sixteen hours straight, but once in his arms, every desire for motion ceased. It seemed that he agreed, as he latched onto you and refused to let go.

"I missed you," he admitted before placing a kiss on the top of your head and moving to grab your bag off the belt.

"I missed you more," you answered softly.

He took your hand and kissed it before leading you through the airport and down to the parking garage where your brother was waiting, leaned up against his car, and dusting the cigarette ashes off of his sleeve.

"Hey there, Miss France," he says as he moves to envelop you in a hug of his own. "How was your flight?"

"It was fine," you answer simply. "Long, but fine."

"Well, you have an hour-long car trip to give us the highlights of France, if you're not too tired. We could stop by a late-night diner too if you're hungry."

You nodded along as you climbed into the car, enjoying the banter after your long trip. But as you rode in the passenger seat home (funny, you thought, that you still called it home), you took in things about the city that you never really appreciated.

The locals that ignored the do-not-cross signs, the billboards that were so shrouded in smog that you could barely read them, the stray cats that freely wandered the city like it was their own personal playground. All the things that you used to neighbor.

And when you got to the bridge that you'd longed to see since you left, the Han welcomed you home with as much love for you as it had six months ago. You made it a point to tell him about the Garonne sometime. You think he would enjoy hearing about her.

"The pastries," you say simply. "It was France; of course the pastries were the best."

Johnny dropped you back at your apartment and your boyfriend opted to stay the night, helping you settle back into the space that you could once again call your own.

Another tenant had contracted your apartment for the time you were away - there were a few more cuts and bruises than you remember leaving, but it was nothing you couldn't patch up. The bed wasn't where you had it, the shower knobs had been replaced, and an empty curtain rod rest stretched along your window seal.

"The stuff you left with us, it's still back at the frat," he chuckles awkwardly.

"That's okay." You offer him a small smile and plop down on one of the only four pieces of stand-alone furniture left in the space, the old black sofa in the same spot it's always been. "At least they didn't take my couch."

"Y/N, darling, I don't know if I would lay on that if I were you."

His words took a moment to register, but when they did your eyes shot open and you were out of your seat comically fast. "Oh God, ew..."

He laughed again and pressed a small kiss to your temple. "Let's take a shower and then we'll figure things out, okay? And you know, you don't have to sleep here tonight. There are no sheets on the bed or anything, so you can-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and lead him to the bathroom, ready for a warm shower to take away all of your travel pains.

"Not really," you answered honestly, rolling your head to the side to look at your boyfriend. You'd been looking at his ceiling for a while, head resting on his thigh while he played with your hair. It felt nice, you thought, to get a chance to live in your memories - specifically the memories you had left with him here in his room, the ones that always waited for you while you were away. "All of my days in France were spent doing something or another. By myself, with the people that I met. So no, it never really got mundane. I didn't think that kind of life existed for anyone over the age of nine." You let out a small but heavy breath. "I guess I had to experience it for myself to understand."

Lucas doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he focuses on gently detangling a knot that his fingers had caught on. Your hair was longer now than it was.

"I'm happy for you," he reassures you. He doesn't quite know what he's reassuring, but he reassures you nonetheless.

"Lucas?" you ask softly.

"Hmm?" he responds, his gruff voice sounding tired.

"What would you have done if I didn't come back?" His finger stop working in your mess of locks and all of his attention is focused on dissecting what you just asked him.

"I don't know what answer you want me to give you," he says smally, glancing down at you before retraining his gaze on the ceiling, its texture nearly lost in the dark.

"There isn't a certain answer I want. I'm just curious."

"I don't understand the question," he almost interrupts, suddenly a bit tenser than he was only moments ago.

"I don't mean anything by it, Lucas. It's not a loaded question." Your soft voice is enough to lul his hand back to its comforting motions. "Would you have gone after me or would you have let me go?"

"I would have gone after you without a second thought. Definitely, I would have."

"I thought about staying you know."

There's a pause, a small silence of thought on both ends.

"Why didn't you," he asks with genuine curiosity.

"It wasn't home. You weren't there."

A wolf whistle follows you into the kitchen the next morning and you feel the need to suppress your groan.

"If I knew you were staying the night, I would have held a cup against the door."

"Oh, gross, Jaehyun," you sneer, turning to jab your elbow into the older boy's side.

"What? Not everyone gets to tour France." You can't help but dramatically roll your eyes and threaten him with a punch.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? I was about to put on a pot."

"Sure," he smiles gratefully. "And you can tell me about Bordeaux while we wait."

"Oh, it was beautiful," you think back as you prepare the grounds. "As the sun was setting, the sky would turn golden. If there were any clouds that evening, they would turn all different shades of pink. The lights over the water - words wouldn't do it justice."

Jaehyun chuckles before yawning out, "Well, that's a first."

"Jung Jaehyun, if you are trying to say that I talk too much-"

"That's not what I'm saying," he defends. "I mean you always have a way with words. It's your thing, ya' know. Words."

You hum, turning back to your task. "I guess I hadn't thought about it that way - at least not for a while."

The door to the kitchen swings open and another boy ungracefully stumbles into the kitchen. Haechan is clad in a plain T-shirt and dark shorts (if you could call them that). His hair is no longer silver; it's now a dusty brown, curling up into the picture of a sandstorm blowing about his head. He looked healthier, or maybe just more mature since you last saw him. He'd filled out a bit, and grown into those long limbs of his.

"Man, what's will all the commotion in here? It's Saturday and- Y/N?" The boy immediately perks up upon seeing you. "Oh my gosh, Y/N! You're back!" He hugs you and sits down at the island beside his older friend, suddenly as energetic as a child on Christmas morning. "Great, because I made a list of pranks we're gonna pull together. Jaehyun, since you're here, I guess you can help us too. Okay, first of all, we're gonna shove a bag of chocolate powder mix down the shower drain. I'd like to make sure that one gets Mark because he blamed me for breaking Johnny's lamp."

There were things you would have to readjust to in Korea. Things that you didn't think would catch you off guard, yet still managed to turn you around every now and again. The wet bath was one of them; you were going to miss your tub. You also suddenly found bowing a bit more strange than you originally had, as well as keeping personal space when you greeted someone altogether. Most prominently, the language barrier that you weren't so sure you'd ever really overcome in your first life in Korea.

Words were suddenly weird to you again. Ideas that could manifest themselves in one language but not another. At times, there were no proper parallels, nor were there ways in which to express everything going on inside your head.

Though you tried your hardest, what little French you learned simply wouldn't translate properly to English, or the English wouldn't translate to Korean, or the Korean to French, or the French to Korean, or the Korean to the English. The words just never came out the way you wanted them to, and in a way, it was like a piece of you fell away from the rest, lost somewhere between all of your different lives.

Lucas noticed how much quieter you seemed since you'd returned.

You made it a point to generally avoid contact with everyone while you were away. You occasionally checked in with them to let them know that you were alive, but other than that had kept your space. You became more dedicated to learning about yourself and how to care for your well-being. You began making decisions of your own, from what you would eat every night and how early you would wake up every morning to what debacles were worth your time and energy. You decided that most of them weren't. You decided that pondering your life was taking years off of it, and that you didn't like to eat snails. You decided that you weren't so bad after all, and for that matter, no one else was either. You decided to live.

"Hey, can I see something on your Instagram real quick?" you asked softly, setting your bowl of fancy ramen on the coffee table in front of you. "I think one of my friends just had a baby and I wanted to see if she's posted any pictures yet."

Without giving it much thought, Lucas hands you his phone and turns back to his meal. "What happened to your Instagram?" he questioned.

"Deleted it," you quip, pulling up your friend's account. He hears you coo before you shove the device back into his hands, urging him to look at the baby. He thought the child, redfaced and wet, looked like an alien, though he'd never tell you that.

"Why'd you delete it?" he pursues.

You simply shrug and cover more of your legs with the blanket that rested on the both of you. "Didn't need it." He gives you an unsatisfied groan, but you can't think of a better answer. It was simple - while you took plenty of photos to document your life, you no longer found it necessary to post them.

"Okay," he tries, "what about your Kakao Story?"

"Deleted."

"So you no longer use Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Skype, Instagram, or Kakao Story? What if someone needs to contact you?"

"I still have Kakao and Discord."

"Okay, what about my posts? Or your other friends'?"

"If they have something to tell me, they will," you sip your hot tea and lean into his side.

"It’s like she doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't want to talk to anyone," groans Lucas as he sprawls out on Mark's bed. "She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to."

Mark's hand didn't stop relaying notes to his journal as he talked with Lucas, translating as many of his lyrical ideas onto paper as he could keep up with.

"She's not the same person she used to be, Lucas."

Lucas had trouble making sense of it, why Mark sounded so sure about that. It almost hurt his pride that one of his roommates was telling him something about you, his girlfriend.

"Who is?" Lucas rubs his eyes. "We've all grown up since then."

Mark's hand halts. "Since then?"

"Since-" he sighs. "Ya' know, since... Since we..."

"Don't hurt yourself," Mark chuckles. "Maybe," he offers, "this chapter of your life is written in a different style. Did you even notice? That your life hasn't been going the same since she got back?"

"Of course it's not the same," the elder defends. "It's infinitely better."

"Spare me. Look, I'm just saying, the less she talks, the more dialog you're putting in your own book. And I think it's better this way. I mean, I can't tell you how to write your life, but I can honestly say I think you're doing better now than you were before. You started using your words instead of acting on impulse. That's not easy, man. Words are hard."

Words: your staple, your foundation, your life. They were your nothing anymore.

And Lucas didn't know how to understand.

He tried not to take it personally, but soon you fell into almost complete silence both with him and his friends. When you joined them for a Smash Bros competition, you didn't exclaim your victories nor mourn your defeats. When you dressed, you didn't ask for his opinions on the color of your lipstick nor the type of heel you should wear. When you laid in bed with him and watched his fan turn above your heads, you refused to humor his desire to hear your voice. And he took the fault upon himself.

He felt guilty asking anything of you anymore because you never opened your mouth to ask for favors in return.

"Y/N, will you come cuddle with me?" he calls with as much endearment as he can shove into his tone.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

You hadn't watched the news in months, and he knew that. You, ever the stickler for meaningful conversation, had devoted large portions of your time to staying up to date before. As of late, however, you preferred "to watch the world crash and burn around you from a first-person point-of-view rather than a third-person point-of-view."

He hoped that sitting you down to watch the news for a while would spark a fire in your opinionated soul. So imagine his reaction when you crawled into his arms and fell asleep, paying absolutely no mind to the colors or words on the screen.

His next plan was to plant your favorite novel in the hands of your favorite philosopher.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

He shoved the book into Doyoung's hands with a stern "fix her." Needless to say, Doyoung had the book read within a couple of days and Lucas invited you over as soon as his friend flipped through the pages for the final time.

"A piece of modern art," he suggests. "A sorrow lost to the sands of time and a meaning forgotten by society."

Lucas watches in amazement as you sit and nod along to everything that Doyoung says. You didn't interject your ideas even once. You just listened.

He was running out of ideas. So his last plot was his last hope that there may be a bit of yourself left inside of you. He would take you on a date - the best date you've ever been on - and thrust so much happiness and gratefulness onto you that you wouldn't be able to contain it so silently. He knew it was a dirty trick, but how else was he to make sure that you were okay if you would no longer tell him anything about yourself.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

Really, he should have asked you out first, before he came barging into your apartment (tidier than he'd ever seen it before and reeking of cleaner) with a bundle of flowers and demanding your attention for the evening.

Surprise.

He was about to push open the door to your bedroom when he heard a soft sniffle from inside. His eyes widened and his shoulders fell. His heart broke when he heard a small sob fall from your lips.

He peeked inside. It was dark, mind the laptop that sat on your desk and illuminating your shaking form. You laid your head on one arm and used your other hand to rake through your stringy hair. Your glasses had been tossed to the shadowy void and your cheeks were wet and sticky.

The header of your philosophy paper stared you down as you unraveled before it. The rest of the blank page was absolutely daunting. Your acceptance of the world around you had drained away your ability to have a coherent cognitive thought about it, forget about writing one.

To some extent, you missed the days when you were confident in your ability to build empires out of words. Now, you couldn't even build a ten-page paper, especially not by 11:59 pm that night.

To a greater extreme, you couldn't understand why you would want to return to your opinionated ways or your charismatic skills that abused fact until it bent to your will. What purpose did fact or, more importantly, idea have anymore, other than to aid your ability to charm others to abide by your purpose?

It felt wrong to write a definitive philosophical thesis, especially when you couldn't bring yourself to definitively believe in anything particular.

"Y/N," you jumped at the sound of your own name and quickly wiped your cheeks with the back of your sleeves, sitting up straighter and making yourself more presentable before you turned around to face him. Lucas saw it all. He watched you put your mask back on right before his eyes, and he realized that you were hurting in ways that he couldn't see until now.

"Lucas," you cursed your shaky voice. "What's up? Why are you here?"

He takes a few quiet steps until he's standing before you and kneels to look into your eyes. There are things that he wants to say, 'you're scaring me' being the most prominent, but he knows he should choose his words more carefully.

"I want to know what's going on. I want to help." He slips his hands into your own and rests them on your knees.

"I just don't think you can," you answer simply.

"Can you tell me what's the matter?"

You shake your head and the tears come rushing back to your eyes. "I don't know what's the matter." It's honest. You don't know why your head can't wrap around your assignments, or your conversations, or your own thoughts as of late.

All that time spent with yourself taught you how to understand yourself and your own needs. You feel that you have exchanged your understanding of the world around you for a simpler version of life. Did that make you selfish? You didn't know.

All Lucas could do was watch you as you fell back into your frustrations. It didn't take long before your brows were knitted back together, your nose was running, and your eyes had glazed over as you retreated back inside of yourself.

"Y/N," he softly called. Your eyes only met his for a second before they were cast somewhere else and your attention ran away from you once again.

"I think," you started, unsure of every word that slipped past your lips. "I think you should go."

You didn't know how to explain to him that you were afraid of what he might think of you at that moment, or that you didn't want to hurt his feelings any more than you guessed you already had.

"I don't want to go. I'm tired of leaving you alone." He stood, gently pulling you to stand with him, and led you to the edge of your bed with a delicate touch. "You don't have to sleep. You don't have to talk. Just lay here with me for a little while and let me be close to you."

"You know," Lucas started as he tossed the noodles in the pan. He'd tucked you into the couch earlier that evening and told you to forget the paper you'd been stressing over. You happily complied. "I don't know how to say this any better." You listened keenly as you pulled a throw pillow into your lap and wrapped yourself around it. "I know that this is probably the last thing you want to talk about, but I did something very wrong to you. I'm still sorry, and I hope you know that. But..." He cast you a quick glance over his shoulder before reaching for the seasoning in your pantry. "I don't think I ever gave you the chance to yell at me. Or like, to be mad at me - ya' know?"

You thought for a moment, front teeth chewing on your thumbnail before you shook your head softly and answered, "I don't want to yell at you. I don't want to be mad at you."

You heard a repressed sound of discouragement before looking to see him dishing your dinner plates. "I wish you would. I wish you would yell at me and tell me what I did was wrong. I wish you would be angry with me for a little while. I wish you would just tell me something about how you feel about it."

He handed you your plate and watched as you ran back inside of your own head. He watched your eyes glaze over as you replayed his words, and yet you made sense of almost none of them. You didn't understand what he was asking of you.

You toyed with your food as you tried to process his request. You didn't even notice when he took his seat beside you, nor did you notice the burning gaze he watched you with.

"Y/N," he called, shaking you out of your trance. "I want you to yell at me." You looked at him like a deer caught in headlights - big black eyes staring down a deadly light. "How did you feel when it happened? Shout something horrific at me about what was going through your head at the time."

You took a small bite and swallowed, training your eyes on the coffee table before you. "I don't remember."

You looked so small, so helpless, and so distant. You were there, right next to him, and yet you were so far away. He was having trouble finding you.

"Yell. Break something. For fuck's sake, please."

The more pressure he applied, the further you seemed to slip away. Before he knew it, you were gone.

"That's not her anymore." He found himself on Mark's bed once again, tucked into the younger boy's covers and pouring out his heart. "She's not all there. She just looks so empty now."

"Dude, I don't know why you come to me for this sort of thing. It's not like I'm just great with girls," the younger quips from his desk chair. "And Johnny would know more about her than I would-"

"No. He absolutely cannot know that I broke his sister."

Mark hummed in thought for a moment before he laid his pen down in his textbook and turned his full body to his friend. "Lucas, be honest with me about something." Lucas nodded. "Did you see anyone else while she was in France?"

Lucas shook his head as he took in his friend's words carefully. He had no right to be mad at the accusation, so he kept his temper in check until a particularly vile thought trotted across his mind. He sat up immediately. "Oh God, do you think that she did? Do you think she considered it a break and she slept with someone else?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying- hey- Lucas, stop." Lucas was already to his feet and out the door before he could finish. "So not my fault," he grumbled to himself.

Finally, it all made sense to him. You couldn't be mad at him if you were also guilty. You couldn't yell at him for committing a sin you'd also committed. He was going to redress the scale. He was going to make you the word again. He was going to be the action.

The solid thuds against your wooden door made you jump up from your floor. Adrenaline spread through your fingertips and you took a step back towards your bedroom.

"We need to talk."

Lucas sounded angry. You pushed and pulled with your memory, but found no trace of experiencing this feeling before: fear of him. You moved against your gut to let him in. You barely opened the door before he pushed his way inside, rattling off accusation after accusation.

"Did you think we were on a break? Because we weren't on a break."

You just listened.

"Did you just forget about me while you were there? Did you just ignore the fact that I was waiting for you? I was stuck here, waiting for you every day while you were in France."

You didn't speak.

"So you just got to do whatever you wanted while I had to sulk here? You just couldn't control yourself, huh? Do you know how hard it was to keep control of myself while you were gone?"

'It was hard?' you thought.

"How about we take another break then? How about this time, I get to sleep with whoever I want? Well? Aren't you even going to open your mouth to defend yourself?"

You didn't.

"Am I wrong?" He prompted. "I didn't think so. Now we're on a break. Now you can fuck around with whoever you want."

Shocked couldn't begin to describe the state he left you in. You stood there, clambering for answers as to what could have sent him on a warpath to your apartment in the first place. His seemingly unprompted fit of jealous rage couldn't really have been sparked without a cause, you figured.

Maybe he'd seen pictures of you with your male friends in France. Maybe a rumor had been spread about you. Maybe he was just tired of you and feeding himself a rotten narrative as an excuse to break up with you.

You didn't want to know. You opted to rather accept his decision, and all of your own emotions that came flooding back with it.

"Hey man, have you talked to Y/N lately? She took one of my classes last year, and I wanted to see if I could get her notes before semester tests." Haechan asks his elder who lay sprawled on the couch.

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p.'

"What?" Haechan asked, looking up from his phone. "What do you mean you haven't talked to her?"

Lucas lazily yawned and reached for his soda can beside him. "It's not like she's my girlfriend or something. I'm not her keeper."

"Shit, Lucas, you didn't," Mark groaned, rubbing his temple.

"No, you were right. She was sleeping with other guys while she was in France. She didn't even try to deny it."

"Hang on, I never said that. You conjured that one up all on your own, buddy."

Haechan frowned as his frat members debated. He was focused on a much bigger issue at large.

"When did you break up with her?" he asks cautiously.

"Hey, we're just on a break. Don't go getting any ideas-"

"Jesus fuck, can your ego get any bigger?" Lucas crossed his arms and refocused his attention on the television, jaw clenched tightly. "You're so annoying," Haechan mumbled under his breath, already moving towards the door and shooting your brother a message telling him to meet in front of your apartment.

"Damn, you got called annoying by Haechan. How does that feel?"

"Can it, Lee."

You could feel it all, the swarm of emotions swirling and twirling around inside your chest, and yet you couldn't begin to name any of them. All you knew was that it hurt and you wanted it to stop.

You laid in your bed and watched your ceiling fondly. You liked how it didn't move. You didn't struggle to keep up with it. And it was dependable; it would always be there.

You didn't move when the knock at your front door finally registered in your ears; you were tired of playing doorman in your own residence.

You were just tired actually.

"Y/N," Johnny called, lightly pushing open the door to your bedroom. A strong sense of deja vu winded you. You knew this scene, you'd lived it before. "It's me and Haechan. I'm sorry we didn't call first." You didn't know how they managed to get inside, nor did you care. You just wanted to sleep.

Johnny took a seat next to you on the side of your bed. He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes in an attempt to capture your attention. That's when the smell hit you. The heavy stench of cigarettes washed over all of your senses causing you to retract from his touch. He looked shaken at first, scared that he might have hurt you.

"You didn’t smoke before," you recalled. It was almost a feat in and of itself to remember the bitter past, but the small victory was stifled by the thick, wet air of the bitter present.

His eyes softened before he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack he'd bought just a few days before. "I started a few months ago while you were away. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it."

"I don't care," you answered promptly before slowly pulling yourself to sit up against your headboard.

Haechan watched from the doorway. He wondered if he'd ever seen someone in this state before, or if he ever would again. He looked at you and almost failed to see the human being in front of him. He watched you move like a frightened animal, stiff and weary. He watched your untrained gaze flicker between your brother and your brother's outstretched hand. 

This couldn't have just been the work of Lucas, he concluded. There were more deeply rooted implications here. There was an unresolved issue before your idiot boyfriend played to his own role.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly.

Johnny looked to Haechan for support, but the younger could offer only his presence in this situation.

"That's okay," your brother soothed. "Haechan," he turned to your mutual friend, "can you call Ten and Yuta and see if they've, uh, noticed anything weird lately about..." He gestured to you. Haechan excused himself to place the calls. "Food? Food always helps, right?" he tried with a dry chuckle. You paid absolutely no mind to him.

"I can't take this," Ten muttered to himself, excusing himself from your bedroom. Five boys had soon found themselves huddled in your doorway, watching your every move intently as you resisted every attempt your brother made to move you.

You felt like a lab rat, being looked at from all angles as Johnny poked and prodded to see what would make you tick. It felt humiliating.

"Let's just go for a drive," he tried again, gently pulling your arms away from your chest and trying to guide you out of bed.

"No," you answered again, pulling yourself away from him and settling further back into your bed.

"Maybe we should just let her be for tonight," Jaehyun suggested, moving to stand beside your brother whose head was fallen in defeat.

"I can't just leave her like this, Jae. I still don't understand what's going on."

"Just give her some space," Jaehyun tried again. "This clearly isn't very effective."

Johnny sighed but ended up in compliance as everyone except for Jungwoo moved to your living room. They quietly deliberated as Jungwoo read allowed one of your favorite novels from the end of your bed, hoping against all hope that it would in some way bring you back from the void in which your mind seemed to currently reside.

"Honestly, we had planned to just come and cheer her up," Haechan had said. "We didn't know we'd find her like this. But I can't say it really surprised me, she's been off for months now."

"I thought something seemed weird. She hasn't said much to me in a while."

"Me either."

"Yeah, same."

Everyone generally agreed with Ten's statement.

"Do you guys think something happened in France?" Jaehyun suggests.

"Or maybe things haven't been going so well between her and Lucas for a while?" Yuta offers.

"Everything just feels like it's spinning," you said, cutting off Jungwoo's reading of Mary Shelley's finest work. He was just happy to have heard you say anything at all. "Everything is going so fast around me. I just wanna take a nap, sleep for a while." As you relayed your simple disposition, you found yourself moving to lay on your side, plenty warm but unwilling to relinquish your comforter. "I don't feel like I belong here, so I'm going to sleep instead."

Jungwoo set the book to the side and laid himself down at the end of your bed. "I don't feel like I belong here sometimes either," he relates.

"But you do," you say, looking over his features and seeing every sharp and jagged curve for the first time.

"You do too," he promises.

Hours of hushed worries bled into the night, and you awoke alone in your apartment in the morning. You had no initial intention of getting out of bed. It was the hardcover copy of Frankenstein standing upright on your bedside table that stirred your aching joints into motion.

Then you remembered.

How could you ever even forget?

The Han River smiled when you arrived, taking a seat on his bank. He asked you why you'd been such an unfamiliar face as of late, to which you had no reply. He thanked you for coming to visit him nonetheless and told you about how much Seoul had missed you while you were away. He told you about the alley cats and how they missed the treats you would occasionally leave for them on your way to classes. He told you about how much the sky cried about you spending spring away. He told you that the city lights drowned out the stars while you were gone, but let them peak back into the city when you returned.

You had no beating heart to pour out into his water, so instead, you gave him your soul. The Han understood and sat with you until you bore no more faults on which to complain. He told you he missed you. You told him that you missed him too. You told him about the Garonne and how much you thought he would like her. Then he sent you off into the afternoon bustle of the city with a watchful eye.

You wondered the streets for a while. Not a penny in your pocket, and still you found so many little joys in all the cracks and crevices of Seoul. You pet the stray cats; they'd always been particularly fond of you. You walked around an antique shop making wild guesses about the past lives of every item in sight. You climbed a tree in the park without a damn to spare the onlookers. By sunset, your feet had taken you back to your campus and directly to the front door of your apartment.

"How about some tea?" you ask yourself as you push the door open, not half expecting to be ambushed by a group of concerned young men demanding to know where you were.

"Would you all like some tea too?"

It was still a struggle to hear your voice most of the time, but visible relief settled over those who'd seen you cowering from your brother in your bedroom only days prior. They all continued to check in on you frequently, as they still had difficulties coaxing you away from your apartment.

"Lucas," Johnny had finally caught him lurking in the kitchen around midnight. He was beginning to grow irritable with how troublesome he had become to locate.

Lucas froze, cup ramen clasped in one hand with chopsticks in the other. Busted like a child with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Look, I'm sorry about your sister," he started without really knowing where he was going. "I know that I kinda jumped the gun-"

"I don't want to fight with you again," the elder said. He had kept his calm since the situation had arisen. The last time you and your boyfriend had a falling out, all hell broke loose in their dorms. He had landed a good solid punch on the more-than-deserving idiot and held the belief that he probably deserved a few more. However, he'd rather not have everyone in a frenzy once more, turning against one another. "I just need you to tell me what was going on before you left."

Lucas's shoulders slump and he sets his late-night meal on the countertop. "I was just so frustrated. She always let me into her head before - but when she came back, she just stopped talking to me. She shut me out," he relayed. "I tried everything I could think of. I tried to make her really happy, I tried to make her really mad. She wouldn't talk to me."

"She won't talk to me either," Johnny said, resting a reassuring hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he responds, taking some measure of the blame upon himself. He felt that maybe if he'd had more patience with you, he could have helped you to get better. Now you were detaching yourself from not only him but your other friends and family as well. "Do you think she would want to see me?"

Your brother shrugged but a small smirk played on his lips. "I dunno. Maybe you should go find out tomorrow."

Needless to say, Lucas felt displaced and burdened by heavy guilt as he stood in your doorway, looking down on your fragile body. The last time he came knocking on your door in the most awful hours of the morning, he begged and cried on his knees for you not to leave him. He felt himself resist the urge to fall to the ground and repeat his mantra of pleas.

You didn't ask him why he was there so early in the morning, nor did you ask him if he wanted to come in. Your stare made his skin feel cold. He cleared his throat to dispel some of the awkward tension that he felt clawing at his airways.

"Can I come in?" Without a word, you moved to the side. "Thank you. Were you asleep?"

"No," you say simply, trailing behind him as he steps into your kitchen.

He lets out a low chuckle as he glances around the room. It looked so surprisingly unhomely and clean. Not a single dish in the sink, nor a potted plant out of place. "I keep messing up pretty badly, don't I?"

He hated the empty way you looked at him. It was as if you didn't know him. It was as if you had just let a complete stranger into your apartment.

"I don't understand, and I'm really trying to. I know that you know that things have changed since you got back. I don't know what that means yet, but I do know that I still love you. And that I'm stupid. I know that too."

You hummed along, a thoughtful expression overtaking your blank features.

"And I know that I’m sorry. I let a stupid idea get into my head and I let it hurt my own feelings. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. Please don't leave me."

You didn't offer an answer, instead opening your arms and inviting him back into your embrace. He placed a small kiss on your lips, something he felt like he hadn't done in ages, and wrapped himself around you in an effort to keep you by his side forever.

"Are you happy here in Seoul?" your boyfriend asked, picking at the grass in front of his crossed legs. He looked at you as you looked down at the water. "I mean, I know you don't want to go back to (country), and I have a feeling that you don't exactly want to go live with my family in China. But like, would you rather be in Bordeaux? Or would you rather stay here?"

"I don't know." He hummed and waited for you to elaborate, but you made no real effort to.

"I know that we're still young and we don't have to make any decisions about where we want to live yet," he cooed, looking up to watch the sun set behind the large city towers, "but would you stay here in Seoul with me for a little while?"

You nodded, reaching over to take his hand in your own before pulling him to lay in the grass with you.

"You know, you're not the same person that you were before you left. I've realized that," he said with a sad smile as he looked over at you and placed a small kiss on your chin, pulling a small giggle from your lips. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to get to know you again."

#lucas #wong yukhei #nct #johnny seo #lee taeyong #donghyuck #haechan #ten #nakamoto yuta #angst #fluff #smut #reaction #scenerio #oneshot #series #part 2 #imagine #x reader #kpop #dream #kim #mark #jeffery

[twh-news]

"Loki" Director Kate Herron Talks The Epic Season 1 Finale And The Easter Egg Fans Should Go Back And Listen For | Buzzfeed

Warning: There are MASSIVE spoilers ahead for Season 1 of Loki!

Welp, Loki Season 1 just came to an end and I think it's safe to say that the Marvel Cinematic Universe will never be the same. Following the Season 1 finale, we sat down with director Kate Herron to talk about everything — like how it felt introducing the multiverse and Jonathan Majors to the MCU, casting this incredible ensemble cast, Loki's bisexuality, and so much more. Here's everything we learned:

1. First, Kate has always loved Loki, so she knew she wanted to be involved in the "character's next step" in some way.

"Basically, I love Loki, and I found out they were making a show about him. As a fan, I was like, 'I need to know where he's gone.' Then, I just wanted to know what the story was going to be. I loved the character. I think Tom Hiddleston's performance is amazing. I really wanted to be part of whatever this character's next step was because I think Loki's had one of the best arcs in the MCU."

2. Directing all six episodes of the first season felt like filming a six-hour movie.

"Directing all six episodes was a really unique experience, right? Because normally TV is run through the showrunner system, and Marvel didn't do that on Loki. It was incredible. It was quite an undertaking to do six hours and run it like a giant film. I'm so grateful for the opportunity, and I'm really proud of what we made."

3. When Kate signed on to Loki, only the first few scripts had been written, the "rough shape of the show" was in place, and they knew Loki would be arrested by the TVA.

"When I started, Michael [Waldron] had written the pilot. Then, there was a second episode written by Elissa [Karasik], and Bisha's [Ali] episode was written. So, there was a rough shape of the show. It was already fixed in that Loki was gonna be arrested by the TVA and then it had this twist that he was going to try and solve the mystery of who this other Loki was, but then it pivots and becomes this love story about him falling in love with himself. I just thought that was so inspired and the message that had about self-love. I just really wanted to be part of that."

4. And they always knew the show would end at The Citadel at the End of Time and the multiverse would be born.

"As we dug into it with Kevin Wright, our producer, the studio, Michael, Tom, and also our whole team, I think it was always thinking like what was the best story, in particular during the second half of the show. We always knew they were going to The Citadel, something would happen, and the multiverse would be born, but we didn't necessarily know it would come out of Loki and Sylvie fighting. That idea came out of discussions with me, the writers, and the studio."

5. It was "always the plan" to introduce Jonathan Majors to the MCU during the Loki Season 1 finale.

"I think me and the writers were just like, 'Well, they haven't told us we can't introduce that character. I guess we're doing it.' It was really exciting and I felt really honored that I got to be part of it."

6. Kate was involved with Jonathan's casting for He Who Remains/Kang alongside Peyton Reed, who will direct Ant-Man: Quantumania, and Marvel Studios.

"Being part of the casting discussion with Marvel and Peyton was amazing. It was massive. I was just like, 'Wow, I can't believe I get to be part of this conversation.' Everyone was just so excited about Jonathan. He's one of the best actors. I just couldn't believe we got him."

7. Jonathan brought a lot of "cool ideas to the table" once he was cast, and Kate gave him "space to play."

"He just brought so many cool ideas to the table. I think when you're working with an actor like Jonathan, it's really just about giving him space to play, and let him find the character and give him a cool way to do that. I really enjoyed working with him. We finished the shoot filming in The Citadel, so it was really interesting that we finished filming with Jonathan. I just felt very lucky I got to direct him."

8. Jonathan actually voiced the Time-Keepers in Episode 4, which added to the Wizard of Oz homage.

"Obviously, the Time-Keepers were being made in post, and we hadn't cast anyone [for the voices] yet, and I thought, 'Well, Wizard of Oz. Like it should be the wizard, right?' So I thought it would be cool if it was Jonathan, and I think the key thing then was just working with him in a way that we could disguise his voice. I think the fun thing was, Jonathan is an amazing character actor. So we just sent him the art and he was sending audio clips to me and Kevin Wright and being like, 'What about this voice?' It was just so much fun to do that with him. I think that was just joyful."

9. Kate's favorite Easter egg from Episode 5 was Throg — in fact, Chris Hemsworth recorded new lines and sounds for that small part.

"That one I was very proud of and it was very fun. I had that shot designed for a while. I think I'd seen it in Futurama, and a lot of animation does it, but I love the idea of going through the dirt and it reveals something. I always felt like that shot would be the place to insert an Easter egg. When we had Throg in there, it was so much fun and it was perfect. We also recorded Chris [Hemsworth] for that. It was just so much fun."

10. She also loved the Thanos Copter and said it was a "funny" detail the producers loved from the comics, so they had to include it.

"The Thanos Copter was great. Kevin Wright, our executive producer, was really obsessed with that copter, I was like, 'We have to put the helicopter,' and it was so funny. Episode 5 is our best Easter egg episode. There's so much deliberately because of the nature of The Void as a place where deleted things are sent."

11. There's one Easter egg/detail Kate hasn't seen fans catch onto yet, and it involves a "familiar" voice at the very end of the Season 1 finale.

"The one I would say is — it's less Easter egg and more cool story-wise. So, at the very end of the finale, when Loki is in this alternate TVA, there's a character that runs behind him and is going to the armory and people should listen to the voice. It's very quick, but it's someone familiar."

12. Loki was inspired by numerous iconic sci-fi movies, like Children of Men, Alien, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Metropolis, Starship Troopers, and more.

"Bisha, in the episode [she wrote], she spoke about Children of Men and also Before Sunrise as a reference, so I was really inspired by that and the idea of bringing these sci-fi things together. Across all the TVA, I wanted it to just be a big love letter to sci-fi movies, like Metropolis, Brazil, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, [and] Alien. A reference I could never talk about early was Starship Troopers just because, obviously, the TVA are bad guys and in that movie they also use a lot of propaganda film and we had our Miss Minutes film. So, that movie played a hand. There was so much across the show. We had references from everywhere."

13. And the inspiration for how The Void would look in Episode 5 actually came from Teletubbies.

"I never really spoke much about it, but basically in Episode 5, The Void was originally written like a desert, but when I pitched, I said I thought it would be cool if rather than like a Mad Max desert apocalypse, it's more like an overgrown garden. Like, this is the place where the TVA throw their rubbish in. I just loved the idea of that. I think I realized as it started to unravel that I'd basically pitched the British countryside. As we were building it, I was like, 'Am I just homesick?' I remember trying to explain it to the visual effects artists who were making it, and I was like, 'You know, it's like the Teletubbies. You know, rolling hills just one after another.' So, yeah, the Teletubbies became a useful reference when describing The Void. So, that's how they played a hand in it."

14. Kate was the one who suggested Sophia Di Martino audition for the role of Sylvie.

"Sophia was in a short film of mine called Smear. I was very happy to pay her, finally, for her talent. When we were reading for the role, I was like, 'There's this actor I know and I think we should ask if she wants to read.' Everyone was like, 'Yeah, sure.' So, she read in these audition tapes, and we were all watching the tapes back and I remember everyone at the studio was like, 'Wait, who's that?' And I was like, 'Oh, that's my friend Sophia.' They thought she was amazing."

15. Sophia's audition tape was so good that she was immediately cast.

"Basically, everyone was really excited by her tape and I think she got cast in the room, which is incredible. I was excited because I got to bring my friend along. She's such a good actor. She's fantastic in Flowers and I was just so happy that she was coming along for the ride. I think she's done such a beautiful job with Sylvie."

16. One of the most important things when crafting Sylvie and the other Loki Variants was making sure they were their own characters, and not just Loki copies.

"I think the most important thing, minus just tiny little gestures, was really making it important that Sylvie was her own character and that all the Lokis weren't just 'faded photocopies.' They were all their own Loki. It wasn't even that they stood in a similar way or looked similar, but what in their soul made them a Loki. I love that line, 'Lokis always survive.' That idea goes across all our characters who are Lokis."

17. Casting Sylvie was one of the hardest things, and Sophia was able to bring her own spin to the character and she was the perfect "sparring partner" for Tom.

"Sophia has this talent — and I think Tom has it as well — where she's so funny and naturally so witty and charismatic that you can't take your eyes off her. She's also really good at playing characters with a lot of anger, pain, and vulnerability. I just felt that those qualities were so Loki to me. She brought her own spin on it too. Tom's performance is so iconic, so Sylvie was a tough role to cast because you need to give him a good sparring partner, but also, it's another Loki and people love Loki. So, it was really making sure that she felt distinctive enough that she was different, but also that we gave Tom a really fun actor to play alongside. It was really fun watching them. It was really fun seeing their chemistry grow."

18. Sylvie's fighting style was actually crafted to have similar movements to Loki's, thus showing that they are basically two sides of the same coin.

"I know Tom and Sophia spent a lot of time together. I think the fun thing with Sophia was the little things, like the fighting styles. She has a very different life to our Loki. Loki is very balletic in his fighting style, because he grew up in the palace, whereas Sylvie grew up in apocalypses. So, she was going to fight a bit more like a feral cat. I thought that was fun to play with. We worked with Mo [Ganderton], our stunt coordinator, and it was really fun to find little mirror image stuff they would do when they fight. We did a little bit of that on Lamentis and there's little bits here and there where we've done that. There's also little gestures that they do that are quite similar."

19. Kate had a "four hour" phone call with Owen Wilson before he was cast. They talked about Marvel, Mobius, and Loki.

"Everyone was so excited to cast him. I remember, they were like, 'Kate, just call him and see if he's up for it.' That was a lot of pressure. But then, I spoke to him on the phone and we spoke about Marvel and Loki in Marvel. Also, we talked about what our show was doing, who Mobius was, and then just getting his take on it. It was a very detailed conversation. I think we spoke for like four hours. At the end, he was like, 'I'm in.'"

20. Wunmi Mosaku's role was originally supposed to be a male character, but Kate suggested having an "open casting" because she thought Hunter B-15 would be really great as a female character.

"When I spoke to the studio, I was like, 'This character is cool, but I just think it could be really interesting if this was a female character. So, could we do open casting? We'll have men and women read, and we'll just see who's the best person for the role.' So, Wunmi read for it and just blew everyone away. We were like, 'We have to cast this person!' So, we kind of remade the role, really, around her."

21. Kate loves the idea that Hunter B-15 joins this club of sci-fi female characters who were originally supposed to be men.

"It was cool because I love Ripley in Alien and I love Kara Thrace in Battlestar Galactica. In the original Battlestar, Kara Thrace's character was played by a man, and Ripley in Alien was originally written as a man, so I liked that Hunter B-15 was joining these badass women in sci-fi. That was really cool to me."

22. When Kate pitched her ideas to the studio, she include Gugu Mbatha-Raw as the actor she wanted to play Ravonna.

"Gugu was in my pitch when I spoke to the studio. I was like, 'I think she'll be really great.' I love her work as an actor. From Belle to the episode of Black Mirror she's in, everything she's in is so different. I think that's so interesting with Ravonna because in the comics, Ravonna's been good and bad, and she's such a big character. I was like, 'I'd love to see Gugu's take on that character.' The studio was really excited by that and so was Gugu."

23. Kate said it was "important" to recognize Loki's bisexuality in the show, and she loved how it was naturally worked into a conversation between him and Sylvie.

"It was just important for us to do it in a way that made it canon, acknowledged it, and also done in a way where like, if someone asked me, I would just be matter of fact about it, like, 'Yeah, I'm bi.' I think that was the important thing for it and building it into the conversation. It was important to the whole team and the way that it was written was really beautiful. It felt like the right place to do it because these two characters are starting to open up to each other and are being a bit more honest about who they are. So it felt like the right place to have that moment."

24. The TVA weren't always going to be Variants/humans. That idea was born out of conversations with Kate, the writers, and the rest of the Loki team.

"When I started, I think it was a bit more up in the air with like, who are the Variants who work for the TVA? Are they Variants? They actually weren't Variants when I first joined. Casey was an alien, for example. I think something we all locked onto was it was more effective to make them more human. It was already in there that the Time-Keepers wouldn't be real and that would be a big Wizard of Oz rug pull. But the extra rug pull we added was that, on top of all of that, the TVA don't realize that they're actually Variants."

25. One of the things Kate enjoyed the most was figuring out the "inner workings of the TVA," like how the Minutemen would operate.

"I think it was really fun, in terms of the bigger structural stuff, to work with everyone. Also, figuring out the inner workings of the TVA, like every squad of Minutemen would have a hunter and they'll be little details sprinkled across all the world building in the show. Generally, we always looked at the characters and what was the best story and how to get to the end goal in the most effective way."

26. The season finale intro — which included seeing space, the sacred timeline, and hearing quotes from the MCU and history — was an homage to Contact.

"Basically, Eric Martin, our writer, he'd written in this amazing idea that for the opening we do an homage to Contact, and kind of move through space to the end of time. Then, we'd see the physical timeline, and then we see The Citadel. I love Contact, and I was like, 'Oh, that's so cool.' We took that idea to Darrin [Denlinger], our storyboard artist, and me and him just nerded out about space and about how we wanted to pay homage to Contact but not be completely the same.

So we played with the idea of time and he was bringing in so many cool ideas. But then, the amazing pitch he had as well was like, 'What if when we pull out at the very end, the timeline isn't a straight line like how you guys have been showing it in the show? What if it's actually circular?' I thought it was such a good idea."

27. Kevin Feige helped come up with the idea to include Marvel quotes over the Marvel logo because it was something the MCU had never done before.

"I had this weird idea where I remember saying to my editor, Emma McCleave, I was like, 'Oh, can we add a baby crying or the sounds of the city? And it's like we just hear life.' So her, me, and Kevin Wright got really into that. So we were adding all of these different sounds into the timeline. We also had quotes from just life, not Marvel. Then, we showed that cut to Kevin Feige and the rest of the team.

They all thought it was cool, and then Kevin Feige was like, 'Oh, do you know what? We've never done quotes on the Marvel logo before.' So, we thought that was cool and we added the quotes to the Marvel logo intro. Then, me, Kevin Wright, Emma, and Sarah Bennett, Emma's assistant, decided to just put the MCU quotes across the whole thing."

28. Going from hearing all of the voices in the season finale opening to utter silence in The Citadel was also a way of learning something about He Who Remains.

"I loved the idea of all the noise and this Greek chorus building because when you finally pull out and see The Citadel and how isolated it is, it tells you so much about He Who Remains' psychology because he's surrounded by all this brimming life, but he's completely isolated and alone. I thought it tells you a little bit about his character and who he might be before we see him."29. Kate loves that the season finale opening is a "beautiful handover" from the previous phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe into this one with the multiverse.

"It was a real group effort, and we were just really excited at the idea of it being this really beautiful handover from the previous phase of Marvel. Also, we get to encapsulate a little bit of our world as well, which was really fun. The editing team put so much time into that. I really want to watch it in a planetarium or something."

29. Kate loves that the season finale opening is a "beautiful handover" from the previous phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe into this one with the multiverse.

"It was a real group effort, and we were just really excited at the idea of it being this really beautiful handover from the previous phase of Marvel. Also, we get to encapsulate a little bit of our world as well, which was really fun. The editing team put so much time into that. I really want to watch it in a planetarium or something."

30. And finally, even though Loki sets up a lot of upcoming MCU projects — namely, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and Ant-Man: Quantumania — Kate didn't have a lot of conversations with other MCU directors and writers.

"Kevin Wright and Stephen Broussard from Marvel were our producers on Loki, and they worked with Kevin Feige, Louis [D'Esposito], and Victoria [Alonso]. They always steered us in terms of the Marvel big picture and let us know if anything was off base. It's so secretive at Marvel, so I only spoke to Peyton just because our timelines crossed [with Jonathan]. Generally, Marvel manages everything internally and keeps us all in check."

#loki #loki series #kate herron #interview #article #buzzfeed #loki spoilers #spoilers #loki series spoilers

[rachelbethhines]

Vintage Shows to Watch While You Wait for the Next Episode of WandaVision - The 60s

So the 60s is the era that Wandavision pulls most heavily from for it’s inspiration. So much so that one could make the argument that each of the first three episodes are all set in the 1960s. Episode one pulls from the early 60s with multiple Dick Van Dyke refences, episode two is very Bewitched inspired, and episode three is aesthetically very similar to The Brady Bunch which started in ‘69. As such it was hard to narrow down the list for this decade and I had to get creative in some ways. 

1. The Andy Griffith Show (1960 - 1968)

The Andy Griffith Show gets kind of a bad rap now a days for being, supposedly, a conservative’s wet dream. People claiming it as such have apparently never actually seen the series. Oh yes, it’s very much set in white rural 60s America and will occasionally present the obliviously outdated joke, but the story of a widowed sheriff being the only sane man in a small town full of lovable lunatics, who prefers to solve his and others problems with negotiation and hair brained schemes as opposed to violence has far more in common with modern day Steven Universe than whatever genocidal fantasy fake rednecks have in their heads.  

As the gif above shows Andy Griffith was very subtlety progressive for its time. Andy was a stanch pacifist, pro-gun control, treated drug addicts and prisoners with respect, and all the women he would date had careers, ect. and so on. It’s not a satire making any sort of grand political statements but the series had a moral center that was far more left than many realize. 

But if it’s not a satire, then what type of comedy is it? 

The Andy Griffith Show excels in what I like to call, ‘awkward comedy’. See everyone in Mayberry is far too nice to just come out and tell a character they’re making an ass of themselves, so therefore whoever is the idiot punching bag of the episode’s focus must slowly unravel as everyone looks on in helpless pity until said character realizes the folly of their ways and the townsfolk come together to make them feel happy and accepted once more. Wandavision takes this polite idyllic awkwardness and plays it up for horror instead of laughs.  

2. The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961 - 1966)

The creators of Wandavision actually met with Dick Van Dyke himself to pick his brain and learn how sitcoms were made back then. Paul Bentley also took inspiration from Van Dyke in his performance of the sitcom version of Vision, while Olsen stated Mary Tylor Moore had a heavy influence on her character of Wanda. But more than just being a point of homage, The Dick Van Dyke Show was hugely influential in modernizing the family sitcom and breaking a lot of the unspoken traditions and ‘rules’ of the 50s television era. It’s also just really, really funny.  

3.The Alfred Hitchcock Hour (1962 - 1965) 

Bit of a cheat here. Alfred Hitchcock Presents actually started in 1955 as a half hour anthology show, but in ‘62 the show got a revamp and was extended into a full hour tv series. I knew I wanted The Twilight Zone to be covered in my episode one recap, but ‘The Master of Suspense’ couldn’t be forgotten. While The Twilight Zone reveled in the surreal and supernatural, Alfred Hitchcock pioneered the thriller genre and made real life seem dangerous, horrifying, and other worldly.   

4. Doctor Who (1963 - present day) vs Star Trek (1966 - present day) 

Just like how westerns dominated the air waves during the 50s, science fiction was the center of the cultural zeitgeist of the 60s. From Lost in Space to My Favorite Martian, space aliens and robots were everywhere. So naturally I had to name drop the two sci-fi juggernauts that still air to this today. If you thought that the rivalry between Star Wars and Star Trek was bad then you’ve never seen a chat full of Whovians and Trekkies duking it out over who is the better monster, the Borg or the Cyberman. But which one has the more influence over Wandavision?

Well Star Trek owes it’s existence to sitcoms. As with The Twilight Zone before it, Star Trek was produced by Desilu Productions and it’s co-founder and CEO, Lucille Ball, was the series biggest supporter behind the scenes, lobbying for it when it faced early cancelation. As with all things sitcomy, everything ties back to I Love Lucy in the end. However despite that little backstory, it would seem that the series has very little to do with Wandavision itself beyond being quintessentially American. 

I would argue that Wandavision owes much to Doctor Who though. Arguably more so than any show mentioned in this retrospective. Time travel, alternate realities, trouble in quite suburbia, brainwashing, people coming back from the dead, ect... just about every trope you can find in Wandavision has also appeared in Doctor Who at some point. As a series that can go anywhere and do anything, Doctor Who was a pioneer of marrying genres in new and interesting ways. 

5. Bewitched (1964 - 1972) and I Dream of Jeannie (1965 - 1970)

It’s hard to pick one series over another because they’re essentially the same show. A mortal man falls in love with a magical girl who upends their lives with magic filled hijinks as they try their best not to have their secret discovered by the rest of the world. And both have their fingerprints all over the DNA of Wandavision. 

There’s only two core differences; Samantha and Jeannie have completely different personalities, with Sam being confident and knowledgeable and Jeannie being naïve and oblivious, along with their relationships with their respective men, Sam and Darrin being married and in love at the start of the series and Jeannie chasing after Tony in the beginning in a will they/won’t they affair, finally only getting together in the last season. 

6. The Munsters (1964 - 1966) vs The Adams Family (1964 - 1966)

Fans of these two shows are forever sadden that there never was a crossover between them. Because they’d fit perfectly together. Both shows are about a surreal and macabre family living in American suburbia and disrupting the lives of their neighbors with their otherworldly hijinks. Sound familiar?     

The main difference between the two shows is the way the characters viewed their placement in the world they inhabit. 

The Munsters were always oblivious to the fact that didn’t fit in. They just automatically assumed everyone had the same personal tastes as them. Whenever they encountered anyone who behaved strangely around them they would write that person off as being the odd one rather than questioning themselves. As such the main cast was structured like a stereotypical sitcom family who just happened to be classic movie monsters. 

The Addams were well aware that they were abnormal and they loved it! They lived life with in their own little world and didn’t care what anyone thought of them. As such the characters were far more colorful and quirky as individuals but there was little in the way of refences to other horror franchises beyond just a general love of the twisted and strange. 

7. Green Acres (1965 - 1971) and the Rual-verse (1962 - 1971)

So the MCU is not the first franchise to bring viewers an interconnected universe to the small screen. Far from it, as sitcoms had been doing this for decades, starting with the ‘rualverse’. Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, and Green Acres were all produced by the same company and were treated as spinoffs of each other, complete with crossovers and shared characters and sets. 

Of the three, the last show, Green Acres, has the most in common with Wandavision. A well to do businessman and his lovely socialite wife settle down in small town America on a farm in order to get away from the stresses of city life, only to find new stresses in the country. Eva Gabor, herself a natural Hungarian, plays the character of Lisa as Hungarian making her one of the few non-native born Americans on tv screens during the cold war. Despite her posh nature and original protests to the move, Lisa assimilates to the rural life far easier than her husband, Oliver. Who, as the main comedic thread, can’t comprehend his new quirky neighbors’ odd and often illogical behavior.  

8. Hogan’s Heroes (1965 - 1971) and Get Smart (1965 - 1969)

So as comic fans have been quick to point out, it’s looking like both A.I.M. (Hydra) and Sword (Shield) will be players in the story of Wandavision. To commemorate that here’s two shows to represent those opposing sides. Although in truth, neither series has anything else in common with each other but I need to condense things down someway. 

In Hydra’s corner we got Hogan’s Heroes. A show all about taking down Nazis from within. 

I love, love, love, ‘robin hood’ comedies where a group of con artists try week after to week to pull one over the establishment. The Phil Silvers Show, Mchale's Navy, and Top Cat, just to name a few examples are all childhood favorites of mine. However while those shows had a lot of morally ambiguous characters, Hogan’s Heroes has very clear cut good guys and bad guys, cause the bad guys are Nazis and the show relentless makes fun of the third reich as should we all. In fact I was watching Hogan’s Heroes while waiting for the GA run off election results. Fortunately my home state decided to kick out our own brand of Nazis this year. 

For Shield, we got the ultimate spy spoof, Get Smart. Starring, Inspector Gadget himself, Don Adams, as the bumbling Maxwell Smart. Get Smart, is a hilarious send up of Cold War espionage but the real selling point of the show, imho, is Max and his co-worker 99′s relationship. You can cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife all while laughing your ass off. 

9. Batman (1966 - 1968)

First was Superman and then came Batman. Yet while Superman was a serious action show, Batman was a straight up comedy. Showcasing that superheroes could indeed be funny. 

Also shout out for Batman being the only show on this list to have an actual crossover with it’s competitor, The Green Hornet. 

10. Julia (1968 - 1971)

Since episode two features the first appearances of Herb and Monica, let’s highlight the first black led sitcom since the cancelation of Amos ‘n Andy over a decade earlier. The show focuses on single mother and military nurse, Julia, as she tries to live her life without her recently decease husband, who was killed in Vietnam, as she tries to raise their six year old son on her own.  

The series is cute. It’s more of a throw back to earlier family sitcoms where there’s no fantasy and life lessons are the name of the game. It’s the fact that the main character is a single black woman is what made the show so subversive and important at the time. 

Runner Ups

There’s much good stuff in the 60s, so here’s some others that didn’t make the cut but I would recommend anyways. 

Car 54, Where Are You? (1961 - 1963)

I call this the Brooklynn 99 of the 1960s. Bumbling but well meaning Officer Toody longs to do good in the world and help anyone in need, but often screws things up with his ill thought out schemes. He often drags his best friend and partner, the competent but anxiety riddled, Muldoon into his escapades. 

Mr. Ed (1961 - 1966)

The grandfather of the sarcastic talking pet trope. 

The Jetsons (1962 - 1963 and 1985 - 1987)

Hanna-Barbera often took popular sitcoms and just repackaged them as cartoons with a fantasy theme to them. The Jetsons has no singular show that it rips-off but is rather more a grab bag of sitcom tropes that feature, robots, computers, and flying cars. 

The Outer Limits (1963 - 1965) 

The Outer Limits was The Twilight Zone’s biggest competitor in terms of being a sic-fi/horror anthology series. 

Gillian’s Island (1964 - 1967) 

The only comparison to WandaVision I could think of was that this is a sitcom about people being trapped in one place. But by that point I was running out of room on the list. Still it’s one of the funniest shows on here. 

So yeah, this took longer than expected cause there’s a lot, here. Hopefully the 70s will be easier. Which I’ll post on Friday. 

#wandavision #sitcoms #1960s #dick van dyke #bewitched

[princessmariaphiliper]

THE SLEEPOVER FIC | Part 6 The Sunshine

Summary: You and James have put yourselves into trouble, but you think maybe it’s hotter that way.

Notes: James Acaster, Original characters. Alcohol consumption, moderate language. Just a feel good time babs!

Pairing: James Acaster x Reader 

Genre: Fluff with eventual smut, Slow Burn fic

Words: 2,597

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 /  Part 9

James returned to his spot beside you, the sun shining down onto the metal table. Making it hot to the touch some time ago. He was sweating you noticed. Not in such a way that made it look as though he’d just finished a workout, but enough to add a light sheen to his face. You wondered if you looked much the same, having been sat in the same spot for hours. You could see that your uncovered arms had begun to burn, you imagined your nose had also as you felt a dull pain starting to form there.

The three of you sat in comfortable silence for a while taking blissful sips of your refreshing beverages. Occasionally you picked at your blueberry muffin, trying to think of something interesting to say.

“It’s a beautiful day isn’t it” Olivia asked no one in particular. She was right, the clouds had rolled away mid-morning. Leaving nothing but a clear sky for the sunshine to project through. You hummed in agreement.

“I’ve not seen Camden this busy in years.” James said, looking out at the collection of people lining the lock, you were somewhat grateful that you’d arrived early this morning. You might not have had a comfortable table otherwise.

“Is there a festival or something?”

“I don’t think so,”

“It’s just sunny and the British go mad for a beergarden.”

“True, true”

Another pause in conversation happened before James turned back around and faced you. As he twisted his body a waft of his cologne danced across your nostrils. He smelt of pear drops mixed with a light spice, pleasant but not overpowering by any means. Looking down at his hand you observed how his slender fingers engulfed his cup. You hadn’t noticed how large his hands were until now. Similarly as he’d always had them covered, only now could you see the veins of his arms. Peeping from under the skin. He was by no means muscular in the typical sense, but you could tell he wasn’t at all scrawny either. His arms too held a glaze of sweat across them. You took a sip, urgently needing a distraction from studying his body. You were hot enough as it was. As you pulled your drink away from your lips you looked over at Olivia. She was staring into your eyes in an intense sort of way. You furrowed your eyebrows at her, hoping to gain more of an insight upon her unreadable caricature. She turned towards James with a kind smile and began,

“Well James, it’s been lovely to meet you, but I best be heading home,” she pointed at the ring on her finger, “duty calls.” 

You shook your head in disbelief, Olivia was divorced. She had been (unofficially) for quite some time now. But kept the ring on her finger as a quick getaway on occasion with people she didn’t know too well. You clocked on to what she was doing now, leaving you alone with James to fulfill whatever insane dialogue she’d got into her head. You gave her a deadpan face as she drank up the last bit of her iced coffee. James flashed her a polite smile, holding his hand out to her once again to shake hers.

“Nice to meet you too, hope we’ll meet again sometime!”

“Yes, that would be lovely, I’m sure Y/n will have a dinner party soon. She always has one close to the end of summer, don’t you?” she stated, rising from her seat she gave you a wink and a wave goodbye.

“I do indeed.”

“Well, I expect to see James there Y/n. A bit of celebrity company is definitely what your missing!” You mentally rolled your eyes at her double entendre.

“I’d love to see you there.”

“Text me when you get home!” You called out as she dissolved with another wave into the crowd. You looked out for a moment before the realisation that you were now alone (fully alone) with James. No other people to perform for.

 “No goodbye kiss for Olive James?” You teased, relaxing into his solo company. He seemed a little startled by your question, turning to you with his lips parted.

“I-”

“I’m only kidding.”

“Well. If you must know, I don't go giving kisses out willy nilly.” His phrasing made you hold back a stupid grin; your sense of humour was embarrassingly immature. Noticing you try to hold back a laugh James quizzed you.

“What?”

“Kissing willy nilly,”

“You’re disgusting, childish,” James replied in a singsong, allowing your laugh to roll out of you now. He waited a moment, watching you with a smile, a chuckle causing his shoulders to bob up and down. His face fell comically flat, “I’m very disappointed in you.”

“I’m funny though,”

“If you say so Y/n” Lifting his hands defensively and tilting his head. You looked around the two of you, all the tables were full now and plenty of people waiting inside to order their beverages. You began to feel a little guilty for having been hoarding the table you were sat at. Noticing a couple on the hunt for a space to sit you turned to James again.

“Hey, do you want to have a walk around? Looks like it's getting busy and I’ve been here hours, legs need a stretch.” You rubbed at your thighs to exaggerate your meaning.

“Sure, where’d you like to go?”

“Not sure, where you headed earlier?”

“I was just walking really. Needed to get out of the flat.”

The two of you rose from the table, offering it gracefully to the couple who had now been standing awkwardly for quite some time. As the two of you headed toward the gate you heard the guy mumble to his partner a subtle ’Was that James Acaster?’

Watching James visibly cringe as he unclasped the handle with his vacant hand. You considered teasing but seeing the distaste across his face you decided it would be best not to. You expected it was an uncomfortable conversation to constantly fill.

“We could head into the market” you enthused, steering away from the conversation James had most definitely expected. He parted his lips, one side of his mouth curing into a grateful smile.

“Sure,”

 And so off you trotted into the cascade of hot bodies weaving through each other. Thankfully - as James was a lot taller than you, he had taken the liberty to lead the way. Parting through people and occasionally slowing behind those taking in the London scenery via their mobile phones. You crossed over the lock bridge. Turning your head right to look out onto the sights, James flocked his head back to check if you were making it through okay. You twisted back and caught him looking, giving you a warm feeling of care overcome you.

“You okay back there short-arse?”

“Yeah, keeping up long legs.”

You saw his chest and shoulders rise with a snort as a group of people either side of you begun to push past. Causing you to stumble forwards. Instinctively you grabbed onto what was in front of you for balance, not wanting to lose James in a bombardment of bodies.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,”

James silently produced his hand behind his back for you to hold onto. You let go of his shirt and gently took his pinkie finger into your palm with hesitation. Your blood pumping a little faster. Sensing your wavering James curled the rest of his fingers around your hand, engulfing it with a little squeeze of reassurance. You took a step forward while you were stationary in an attempt to hide your PDA for anyone who might recognise him. You couldn’t be arsed with your face on some scandal website.

 “Do you want to eat?” James quizzed with a flash of eye contact as you made it towards the (thankfully not as crowded) food market.

“Yeah sure,” you agreed “What do you fancy?”

“Depends, are you feeling adventurous?” He led you round a few corners with visible excitement. Still holding firmly onto your hand. You decided however that you didn’t mind it all that much. It made you feel giddy in a way.

Casually he pulled the two of you round a final bend and stopped. Causing you to now be side by side with him. He let go of your hand, secretly making your heart sink into your shoes. Before regaining a hold of it. This time he invited you to interlock one another’s fingers, which you quickly accepted, his fingertips close to caressing you wrist.

“Why not?” You looked left, smiling up at him. His face lit up by the afternoon sun. The dusting of his auburn stubble upon his cheeks glinting in the light.

“Good. This place has the best South African food.”

“Sounds good to me,” You smiled back.

Excited by his own enthusiasm. You knew James was as much of a foodie as Ed, after all you’d chatted to them both the other night about their food podcast. James comically admitting that he didn’t think as many people would be still listening years after they had begun it. Trusting his insight, the two of you joined the queue for ‘Shaka Zulu’, allowing him to have this moment of pleasure as you had stolen him from a day to himself.

You looked around you, most of the people queuing being tourists or couples patiently waiting in the sunshine to be invited inside. A moment of panic washed over you as you started to wonder. To an outside eye could this be considered a date? Albeit an accidental scenario you and James were holding hands while waiting to go for a meal. Perhaps it could be translated as such.

Starting to feel nervous you decided you really needed a drink.

Pulling you out of your thoughts James ran his thumb idly over the back of your hand as you approached the front of the queue. Instantly making you feel calmer. He didn’t seem at all nervous. His posture tall and somewhat cocky. He used his free hand to pull on his collar, letting some air into his shirt, then running his fingers through the back of his hair.

“Have you been here before?”

“Never,” You admitted openly, “I don’t eat at restaurants often. Only for birthdays and so on, I don’t have the excuse really” You pondered the last time you’d gone for a proper meal out. Having been single there wasn’t a necessity to eat out as often. You wondered if maybe that was why this felt like such a date.

The waiter asked the two of you how many the table was for before guiding you towards one in the middle of the room. Inside of the restaurant was dimly lit in contrast to the outdoor sunshine, making your eyes go funny upon entry. As they began to adjust you noted the calved deep wood chairs and African themed setting, having you feeling slightly underdressed.

“Quite fancy for jeans and a t shirt,” You admitted to James as the waiter left you at your table to ponder the menu.

“How do you think my bare knees are feeling over here,”

“You suggested this place James,”

“Yeah well,” He sang stupidly, “Forgot who I was for a second Y/n.” Pausing shortly after blinking slowly and looking off to his left.

You were seated across from one another, both in extravagant looking chairs. James had his legs outstretched underneath the table; both his feet nestled beside your ankles. You noted his comfort around you, and his constant need to be close to you in any way possible. It was alluring to consider his touch may be purposeful. The two of you studied the menu for a while before you perked up another conversation.

 “Is it too early for a drink?” 

“It is the weekend,” He replied with his brows raised, lips pulled cheekily.

“Olive tells me off if I suggest anything before three.”

“And you pretend to be okay with that?” James stated playfully. You laughed at his comment, making his mouth curve into a proud smirk. Something stirring in your stomach subsequently.

“White wine is presumably more acceptable for day drinking,”

“I’d agree but why bother when you’re already committed.”

“Guess you’re right.”

“Obviously”

“I’ll get a mojito then.” Shaking your head at his cockiness for what felt like the hundredth time since you met him, he carried on.

“Good choice. I might join you. What do you want to eat?”

“What does the food connoisseur recommend?” You offered sarcastically, however genuinely curious for his input. You didn’t want to be brought to a place he’d bigged up and order a fucking salmon.

“Well, the Vegetable Potjie is great, I usually get the Beef Bobotie though.” You checked over his suggestion on the menu. Liking the sound of the vegetarian dish much more than the beef you decided to go with that.

“I’ll have the Potjie then!” You professed, closing the leather wallet with a gentle thud.

James leant back in his seat, resting his arms on each side of it. You couldn’t help but observe him now that there was nowhere else for your eyes to naturally fall. Accepting the circumstance, you drank him up. His posture comfortable, one of his arms falling in his lap away from your view. His hair curled upwards in a collection of flicks, some slightly stuck down from the heat outside. His jaw was well defined as he rested in an L shaped hand. Ring finger positioned just below his lips. You moved your eyes upwards only to meet his own, that had subsequently, also been studying you. You started to feel a little self-conscious and James looked at you with hunger in his eyes as the two of you held the contact.

You nibbled your lip nervously out of habit, unsure of what to say. Causing a knee jerk reaction from James, his foot turning to nudge your own. He swallowed awkwardly and cleared his throat, shifting in his seat, (thankfully) as the waiter returned for your orders.

“Hi what would the two of you like to eat this afternoon?”

James looked to you, silently quizzing if you would like to order first.

“You go,” You nodded “It's okay.”

“Erm, well could we get two mojitos please,”

“Sure, would you like plain, raspberry or kiwi?”

“I’ll have a raspberry please” You chipped in

“Just plain for me thanks”

“Yep, what else would you like?” She scribbled down some notes as James began speaking once more.

“Can I get the Beef Bobotie please,”

“Um hum,”

“And could I please have the Potjie” You asked politely, passing your menu over to James who was gathering his.

“Wonderful,” She scribbled again. “Is that everything?”

“That's it thanks.”

“Amazing, someone should be with you in a minute to bring your drinks over. If you have any questions just shout. Enjoy your meal guys!” She enthused, gathering your menus before starting to head off. Alas, before she had fully departed from your table James stated a genuine ‘Thanks! You too!’ His face twisting downwards in instant regret.

You forced yourself to hold back your laughter until the waiter had disappeared. James’s mouth wide open, blinking slowly in disgust at himself. You smiled at him, feeling both second-hand embarrassment and pure joy simultaneously. You raised your eyebrow inquisitively.

“You too?” You teased, James looked up shamefully, resting his chin in his palms.

“I wish I were dead.” He concluded. Twisting his face into a comical frown.

Hello all lovely people. I would just like to say I’m not fully in love this chapter, mostly because I know we’re getting into the nitty gritty but I wanna take things slow to build some more SexU0L teNsIOn~ I also think I’m trying too hard to be funny. But anyways, thank you for keeping up with the fic and all the support along with it. Love light and peace x 

- Princess Maria 

Taglist josies-polestar queensantiagoofthe99 rilannon laurabeech olithephangirl

If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglist, feel free to tell me!

#james acaster x reader #james acaster imagines #james acaster fanfic

[desire-tenderness]

𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires.  TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow.  [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ]     We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

#timothée chalamet #tchalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee #fanfic #art #xavier dolan #cigarettes after sex #the beatles #nick drake #backstreet boys #movie #music #bright are the stars that shine

[tsukishimaenthusiast]

Heyo! Can I request an imagine of Bokuto with a shy girlfriend and how they meet? Thanks

bokuto w/ a shy girlfriend

part 2: here

you were walking through the aisles of a random convenience store, trying to find your favorite snack. when you were finally in the right section, you squatted down to search for your snack. “hey, akaashi! you gotta try these! i got them last week and they’re so good!” you turned around to see a tall, muscular man with spiked up hair standing behind you with a slightly smaller guy next to him. when did they even get behind you? the bigger guy squatted down next to you and grabbed the same snack you were looking for. “excuse me, i just want to grab one of these,” he said with a smile. honestly, when you first saw him, he was kind of intimidating, but his smile softened him up. you quickly moved your hand out of his way, trying to avoid eye contact. you watched them as they walked up to the cashier and read the back of their jackets.. “fukurodani? not too far from here… they must play on a sports team or something,” you thought to yourself.

a couple weeks have passed since you saw those two guys at the convenience store. they were both good looking, but there was something about the boy with the spiked up hair that intrigued you. you must’ve been caught in your thoughts because you soon heard your friend shout, “hey, y/n! did you hear me?” you snapped out of your trance. “what? no, sorry,” you replied. “i asked if you wanted to come to a volleyball game with me later this week. my brother has a game but i don’t want to go alone! will you come?” you had nothing better to do so you told your friend yes.

you and your friend sat in the bleachers, waiting for the two teams to come out. you zoned out for a bit but when you brought your attention to the court again, you were shocked by the volleyball team in front of you. “fukurodani!???”, you hadn’t even realized you said it aloud. “yea… they’re a really good team…. you see that guy with the two-toned hair? that’s bokuto koutaro, their ace. he’s also in the top five in the country!” you couldn’t believe your eyes or ears. there he was, the guy from the convenience store! you’d never thought you’d see him again. “that’s the guy,” you told your friend. “really!? why didn’t you said he had spiky, dyed hair, y/n!!??! we could’ve discovered who he was a lot sooner!” you shrugged. “i dont know, it didnt seem that important.” the game would be starting soon so you guys decided to put the conversation on hold.

as you were watching the game, you understood why bokuto was the ace. every hit he made was incredible! whether it was a line shot or a diagonal shot, each one was powerful and practically scored a point for fukurodani every time. not to mention that the other boy that was with bokuto that day, akaashi, was an amazing setter. during the second set, bokuto messed up one of his line shots and it went out of bounds. it didn’t do too much damage for the team, but for some reason bokuto was sulking. he made this really odd face. was he sad? angry? you couldn’t tell. honestly, it was a little comical. fukurodani’s coach called a time out and akaashi spoke to bokuto. “maybe he’s trying to cheer him up? get his head back in the game or something..”, your friend suggested.

soon enough, the game went back into play. bokuto was still on the court, but akaashi wasn’t setting the ball to him. this went on for a couple more rallies until bokuto began getting antsy. akaashi finally set the ball to him and bokuto scored another point. wow, he was still on fire even after not being able to touch the ball for a while. he truly was the ace of the team.

unfortunately, for you friend’s brother, fukurodani won. you kept telling your friend how impressed you were by bokuto’s skills on the court, though. “then why don’t you go and tell him before we leave?” you felt your face heat up. “you know i could never do that! i’m too shy…” your friend just shrugged their shoulders as you guys began to leave the bleachers. you and your friend met up with their brother and the rest of his team. they were having a quick overview of how the game went down. you noticed fukurodani coming into your field of view. “y/n!! now’s your chance! go compliment him!” before you could even argue, your friend pushed you into bokuto. he turned around and looked down at you with a smile. “hey! are you okay??” you quickly looked away to avoid eye contact. “uhh s-sorry. yea i’m fine! i-i just… i just wanted to say that you’re an amazing volleyball player,” you said with low confidence. bokuto was already smiling but you could've sworn his smile got ten times bigger. “wow!! thank you.. uhm.. thank you- what’s your name?” “y/n,” you replied. “thank you, y/n!”, he said enthusiastically. you felt a slight blush appear on your face and bokuto developed a soft look in his eyes. you guys were awkwardly smiling at each other until you heard you friend shout, “y/n, we’re leaving now!” you excused yourself and headed towards your friend but decided to look back for a quick second. bokuto was watching you exit the building and you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy.

a few days have passed since the volleyball game. like when you first saw him, you wondered if you’d ever see bokuto again. you didn’t want to be weird and show up to his volleyball games, you didn’t even really know him that well.. you got a notification on your phone so you decided to see what it was. a friend request? from who? “bokutokoutaro_4” was the username. bokuto?? how did he even find your account? you decided to keep your questions to yourself and let him follow you. you followed him back and looked through his account. all pictures of him in his volleyball uniform and with his friends. you received a message from him about five minutes later. “hey y/n, it’s bokuto. do you think i can get your number?... just so it’s easier to text.” he was really straightforward and honest, but you kinda liked it. plus, everything was easier over text for you.. there was less confrontation. you gave him your number and received a text message a minute later. “hey it’s bokuto!” you smiled to yourself, “hi :)” you replied back. you decided to be ballsy for a minute and texted him again “i’m just curious, how did you find my account? i only told you my first name so i just think it’s kinda cool how you found me so quickly ahah.” you decided to send the text right away before you could hesitate. his response took awhile to come in. “oh god i hope you don’t find me weird.. but when you complimented me at the game, you seemed so shy and cute!! you felt butterflies in your stomach as you read the text. you guys ended up texting for the rest of the night.

a couple weeks have gone by since you and bokuto started texting. some of the conversations were sporadic. it was either because he was too busy or you were too busy. you had just gotten done taking a shower and put on your pjs when you heard your phone start to ring. you checked to see who was calling you.. it was bokuto. you started to panic. why was he calling you? you guys never spoke over the phone before. you don’t know why, but you answered the phone anyways. “hello?” “hey y/n! did i catch you at a bad time? anyways, i know it’s short notice but i just found out i don’t have practice tomorrow. want to meet up and hang out somewhere?” you froze. “sure.” wait what? you didn’t even think before your answer. “awesome! i’ll text you where to meet me later tonight,” and he hung up after that sentence. you stood there with your phone in your hand. “what did i just get myself into?”, you asked yourself, sighing.

you woke up the next morning and got ready to see bokuto. you guys were going to meet up at a cafe in the morning and walk around tokyo afterwards. you decided to keep the makeup light and wear something cute, but comfortable. on your way to the cafe, you felt your nerves build up. you prayed to the gods that you wouldn’t be too shy or awkward around him. you noticed bokuto standing outside the cafe, waving at you. you greeted each other and went inside. bokuto ordered two lattes for you guys and refused to let you pay. when you were chatting with him, you realized that you didn’t feel so nervous talking to him. there was something about him that made you feel comfortable and safe.

after the two of you finished your lattes, you roamed the streets of tokyo. you walked into random shops and tried on accessories. somehow, bokuto convinced you to take a selfie with him while you guys both wore fedoras. it was weird, but funny. you guys stayed out for a couple of hours and bokuto ended up buying some street food for you guys so you wouldn’t go home hungry. after finishing the quick meal, he insisted on taking you home. you had to take a bus in order to get your house. when bokuto sat next to you, you felt a little timid. you just spent hours with him, though, so you weren’t sure why. maybe it was the close proximity. bokuto began to speak up, “hey y/n? can i tell you something?” you nodded at him. “when you came up to me at the game, i recognized you from somewhere else…the convenience store. you picked out the same snack as me. and you were just so .. beautiful, i couldn’t help but memorize your features. so when you came up to me at the game, i knew it had to mean something cause i never thought i’d see you again...” you were completely flustered and his confession made you melt inside. he noticed you seemed a bit taken off guard. “please don’t weirded out or embarrassed, i just had to tell you!” he added quickly. “no it’s okay, bokuto. i appreciate you telling me,” you muttered. although you thought and felt the exact same things about him, you decided to just keep it to yourself.

after the bus ride, you finally arrived at your house. bokuto walked you up to your front door. “thanks for hanging out with me today, y/n! i had a lot of fun.” you smiled up at him. “no, thank you for inviting me!” bokuto paused for a moment before leaning in to hug you. he wrapped his huge arms around you and held you in his embrace. he began to slowly pull away but didn’t do so entirely. he seemed hesitant, but he spoke up, “i really want to kiss you right now… c-can i kiss you?” you felt your face heat up. he stared at you, waiting for your consent. you licked your lips lightly and nodded at him. bokuto slowly cupped your face and brought his lips to yours. you knew he was a strong guy, but he felt so gentle holding your face while kissing you. you couldn’t help but smile at the feeling. he let you go and gave you a smile before stepping away from your front door. as you were about to enter, bokuto shouted, “hey y/n! next time, i’ll take you on a proper date!” you laughed and walked inside your house. you locked the door and rested your head against it. “can’t wait,” you thought to yourself.

y’all i literally wanted to write sm more for this but i felt it was already too long so lmk if u guys want a part2 of like bokutos gf meeting the team or something bc i really wanted to write that LOL

#haikyuu #haikyuu boys #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #bokuto fluff #bokuto haikyuu #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro #haikyuu bokuto #bokutoxreader #bokuto #haikyuu scenarios #bokuto imagine #bokuto koutaro x reader

[infernwetrust]

Hands On [Michael Langdon x Jim Mason x Fem Reader] Pt 1.

Summary: The one where you attempt to teach Michael how to use his hands rather than his powers, but things get a little out of hand.

Warnings: some smut, mentions of smut, swearing, some violence, fluff, emotional, brief mention of drug use

WC: 4.0k

A/N: The next chapter is allllll smut up until about the end. This one came to me randomly today and I had to get my ideas down before I lost them forever. Part 1 of a 2 part series. Thank you for reading! -Juno

He stood there in his boxing gear that you had got him the same time you had got yours. He watched as you effortlessly took jabs at the punching bag he had gotten you for Christmas last year, not all really interested in your technique more than how invested he was in your body. The way your training bra fit you perfectly. The way your shorts pointed out all your features. You glistened as the sweat rolled off your body.

You've been doing this with him for the past 2 weeks after months of trying to convince him. The two of you had to talk it over. You let him know that sometimes he didn't always have to snap someone's neck when he was angry. Aside from being the fucking anti-christ, you wanted him to have a normal life as much as possible. You wanted to give him the things he never had when he was younger and of course he was grateful for that. And while snapping their necks was his favorite thing to do, he let his guard down and allowed for you to teach him how to box.

"Okay." you said, taking a moment to pause and catch your breath. "Ready to show me what we've been working on?"

"Remind me as to why I can't just continue to use my magic?" Michael questioned, using his glove to scratch the back of his head.

"Because I'm going to show you how much fun it is to be more hands on."

"It's messy, Y/N. You know I never like to be messy when it comes to my work. I don't like to leave evidence behind."

"But you're sooooo good at it."

And he was. A quick learner, he too, was damn near flawless in front of this punching bag. It was an outlet for all the anger he's been keeping in since he was small and when he got into it, he was really into it. He would go for hours and hours on end and you'd had to do some strong convincing for him to stop and come have dinner. He thought of everything he went through growing up, letting the energy flow through him.

"Plus it'll be your exercise for the day." you added.

"I already get that in the bedroom every other night, my love." he retorted, giving you a smirk.

"Haha. Very funny, Michael."

"But if you insist, so I shall."

He took a deep breath, stepping in front of the punching bag, peering around it to stare at his and your other partner, Jim, who also liked to box, but his fighting style was more MMA. He loved to use both his hands and feet whether he was just sparing or actually fighting. He watched the boy, who was sweating profusely, jab after jab after jab on his new punching bag that you had bought him, his very first birthday he spent with the two of you instead of his sister. Michael loved to watch the two of you pursue a common hobby. He loved how tight Jim kept his boxing shorts. He was on full display and Michael eye's always drifted across his body, especially the bulge between his legs. When Jim got in front of his punching bag, everyone in the room disappeared. He zoned completely out. It was just him, his kicks and punches, and most importantly, his music. You and Michael warn him every time that he isn't going to be able to hear when he gets into his 50s, but Jim's always been hard headed.

You were already married to Michael for 2 years when the two of you found Jim, but he didn't care, he still loves the both of you the same. It's been a year since then. All 3 of you met at a bar, Michael pointing him out to you. He was shy at first and reserved, but a few drinks loosened him up and he was telling the two of you everything. You learned about his parents divorce, his substance abuse, his anger, and fear of abandonment over the course of a 2 week period and why he left Palos Verdes and moved to LA. Michael was the first to fall for Jim and he fell hard, you following shortly behind. Behind all his anger, he was so sweet, so caring, and so passionate. He made love to you and Michael and was rough when he needed to be, but he preferred to be gentle. Him and Michael occasionally exchanged roles in the bedroom. Jim's favorite after a long day of surfing was having Michael ride him while you sit on his face, the two of you making out above him. Or when you would come home after an extremely stressful day of work, venting to the both of them, Jim and Michael both would take turns loving you, filling you up until you felt like you had enough. This was followed by cuddles and kisses all night long until Jim fell asleep, Michael already sleeping like a baby. Or the nights when Jim would hear Michael yelling at one of his cooperative members either over the phone or video call, and especially the meetings he had in house. The in house ones Jim loved. Michael would be furious, storming into the bedroom to Jim sitting in the middle of their California king, shirtless, in those soft blue boxers Michael adored, reading a comic book. Jim would instantly look up, his soft eyes, meeting Michael's hard gaze and he'd shoot him a reassuring smile before motioning him to come here. Jim would give Michael whatever he wanted and a sucker for his boy, Michael was gentle.

Jim was always overwhelmed with excitement when Michael let him know that he was the full dom for the night. He'd absolutely destroy you and Michael, loving hearing the screams of his name come off your lips, especially. Whether it was you begging for him not to stop, or Michael desperately begging to be choked harder, Jim out performed himself every time.

There was nothing you enjoyed more than watching your two men together. When you come home from work to find them cuddled up on the couch, just laughing at random things or when they're both cooking and snap their heads up at the same time once they hear your voice. It's both of them being able to be the voice of reason for different situations. It's Michael arguing with Jim over the small stuff. It's Jim purposefully fucking up Michael's work, so that he would give the two of you some attention. Everyday the both of them never fail to remind you why you love them so much.

"Actually." Michael said, holding onto the punching bag in front of him. "I want to spar with Jim."

"You really think Jim is going to let you spar with him?" you questioned. "He doesn't play spar like we do, Michael. He wouldn't even spar with me, experienced as I am." Feeling pairs of eyes on him, Jim looked up, still punching, glancing between the two of you. He stopped, holding onto the punching bag until it stilled.

"What?" he questioned, taking his one of his ear buds.

"Michael wants to spar with you."

"No." Jim immediately said, running his hands through his drenched hair, walking over to one of the shelves for his water bottle. "2 weeks with you and only has ever done MMA once with me when you were sick. I won't even spare with you, Y/N, let alone the inexperienced."

"That almost hurts my feelings." Michael said, giving his best pouty face. He walked over to Jim, leaning against his punching bag as he watched him gulp his water down.

"Told you." you said, glancing between the two of them.

"Come on, Jim Jam." Michael said, playfully taking a jab at him, which Jim dodged of course, still drinking from his water bottle.

"No, Michael."

"You're wasting your time, Mike. He's not going to lay his hands on you." Michael took another jab at Jim, this time, causing him to drop his water bottle on the floor.

"Michael, come on, seriously. I don't want to hurt you. I don't "play" spar. If I start throwing punches, I'm going to throw them like I'm in the ring."

"Let's get in the ring then. That's what I renovated this house for. Got that brand new ring in the middle of our gym, just for you and Y/N. Put it to use, yes?"

"I have been using it. A couple buddies come over every other weekend, but you're too caught up in your cooperative bullshit to come socialize. They are the only ones I spar with."

"What are you afraid of?"

"I don't want to hurt you. That is my only reason. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to finish up here. You might be the anti-christ, but you're still human."

"Plus.." he continued, mumbling. "I can't fuck up that pretty face of yours."

"Sweet." Michael said, grinning. "But I'll let you know if you're hurting me. Don't I always?"

"Michael." Jim groaned. "Why do you never take no for an answer?"

"This man hasn't been told no for most of his life."

"So spoiled." Jim sighed, popping his ear buds back in, cracking his knuckles to return back to his objective. He pulled his fist all the way back and was about to strike, when Michael appeared directly in front of him, causing him to halt immediately.

"For fuck sakes."

"Spar with me."

"NO. Now MOVE." Michael appeared behind Jim, giving him a jab in his back.

"Spar with me."  You watched amused, folding your arms over your chest, wanting to see exactly how this would play out.

"Michael, I swear-," Another jab connected with Jim's side. "Fucker."

"Spar with me." Jim turned around to glare at Michael who had that stupid grin on his face again. Without even thinking and completely catching Michael off guard, Jim picked him up by the back of his thighs, Michael naturally wrapping them around his waist. He was a dom that wasn't afraid  to be a sub for his babies. And then Jim slammed him down to the mat in front of him, knocking all the wind out of him, Michael grunting loud as his back hit the floor. He coughed vigorously as Jim hovered over him, jaw clenched in a semi-angry gaze.

"Jim!" you yelped.

"Safe word." Jim said, jaw clenched tighter.

"Safe word for what-,"

"Safe word!" Jim barked at him. Michael cocked his head to the side, confused. And while the safe word was normally used for sexual connotation, Jim had started using them for when his spars got over the limit serious.

"Hands..." Michael said. Jim quickly hopped off of him, grabbing his hand and yanking him up off the mat. What was special about the ring that Michael got installed in the house was that he got special gloves made for them as well and all for Jim. When Jim wasn't on the beach surfing, he was always practicing and learning how to defend himself. These gloves were only activated once you stepped in the side the ring. They were designed to register critical hits to the body, thus administering points on an electronic score board.

"Change your gloves." Jim said, sounding agitated as he took his practice ones off to put on the special ones. "And get a mouth guard on."

"Jim you're really gonna-," you were gonna question him, but he cut you off.

"Daddy wants to spar right? So Jim is gonna spar with daddy." You grabbed him by his arm, pulling him closer to you to whisper in his ear while Michael got ready.

"He's no where near ready for something like that."

"He doesn't seem to care." Jim whispered back.   "And you know Mike gets what he wants or he loses his mind." You sighed, resting your forehead against Jim's, feeling him lighten. "I most likely won't go overboard. I really can't bare to hurt him. You remember how I felt after I accidentally burnt him one time and now he wants me to put my hands on him."

"Just be careful please."

"I wish you two would stop worrying so much." he said.

"And I wish you would stop reading our thoughts."

"Habit." he chuckled, putting his long hair into a neat bun. "Come on Jim Jam." Michael stepped in the ring first, it immediately recognizing him.

Welcome, Michael.

Jim sighed, stepping in after him.

Welcome, Jim.

Jim walked over to Michael, wanting to convince him to change his mind because he knew once he got in the zone it would be hard for him to stop. He had a soft spot for the both of you.

"No I don't want to change my mind." Michael said as Jim approached him, but that didn't stop Jim from getting any closer. He grabbed Michael by the back of his neck, pressing his lips roughly against his in a heated kiss.

"I'm sorry..." Jim said, pulling away breathlessly. "If I do anything to hurt you." He touched gloves with Michael before returning to his corner. "Y/N, you know the drill." You got in the ring with the both of them, giving them the cue.

"Are you ready?" you asked Michael, him giving you a quick nod. You looked at Jim. "Are you ready." He gave you the same quick nod in return.

"Fight!" you said, throwing your arm up in the air and immediately getting out of the way. You watched as they both shuffled around, getting closer to each other. Michael started with baby jabs, jabs that Jim easily slapped away as the two continued to shuffle around. Jim noticed how quick Michael was on his feet and was going to have to change up his strategy. Michael knew better than to use his magic for an advantage. He wanted this to be fair. Jim took the first real jab, Michael softly grunting as it connected with his side. He backed away slightly from Jim, still shuffling on his feet, but Jim wasn't having it. The more Michael tried to back up, the closer Jim got.

"Remember to not let your opponent corner you." you reminded Michael, knowing that if Jim got him in that corner, it would be over. Michael quickly glanced over at you, Jim taking the opportunity to throw another punch, but Michael deflected that one, hitting Jim in his jaw with a counter, but Jim still didn't stand down. He wanted to box Michael in. Jim grabbed him, the two immediately entering a grapple, Jim's cheek pressed up against Michael's shoulder as he attempted to knee him on the side of his leg.

Michael attempted to switch positions, wanting Jim to be facing away from him, but still wrapped in his arms, but Jim knows that move all too well, so he went stiff as a board, not allowing Michael to move him. Instead, he swept Michael off his feet, slamming him to the ground, wanting to go for the submission early. He wrapped his leg around Michael's throat, pulling his arm all the way back, to the point where Michael thought his shoulder was going to rip out it's socket. Full of energy, he quickly broke that submission, now on his back, but Jim was quick, making his way on top of Michael.

Michael held his hands up, knowing to defend his face as the punches from Jim came. He could deflect them all day and as soon as he felt the energy change in Jim's body, kicked him in his chest so that he would stumble over, attempting a submission of his own. He had seen this one on tv. The triangle choke. He tried to grab of Jim's arms, but Jim scrambled to his feet and so did Michael.

"No one submits me." Jim said. "Ever."

"But you submitted to me last night in my office?" Michael questioned as he shuffled around in circles, forcing Jim to do the same. "My cock looked pretty good in the back of your throat." And that made Jim, angry. And before Michael knew it, Jim's foot had connected with the side of his thigh, making him lose his footing immediately, slamming down into the floor, giving Jim the opportunity to get back on top of him. The punches came too fast for Michael to block, so he flipped over onto his stomach instead, getting on his knees so that Jim would fall off of him. And when he got back up, Jim did too.

"Jim, calm down, remember who-," you began to say, but he had already tuned everything out. It was just him and Michael in the room now. Whack. Another kick came, but this time it was in Michael's side, completely knocking the wind out of him for the second time today. He screamed, falling to the ground, rolling around in pain, but that didn't stop Jim. That didn't signal the end of the match. He walked over to Michael, breathing hard, his tongue pressed up against his bottom lip as he focused on what he was about to do. He was going to do the triangle choke. He kneeled down beside Michael who was still groaning, in pain.

"Jim, stop!" you yelled. "I think he's actually." But Jim didn't seem to hear you. He grabbed Michael's arm, pulling it over his head, causing him to scream again, pain radiating all throughout his side. He wrapped his leg around Michael's neck and shoulder, placing his other leg around his opposite ankle. He squeezed. He squeezed his like his life depended on it, Michael's own arm and Jim's legs, now applying so much pressure to his neck, Michael got light headed. Jim knew he would have to tap or he would pass out in a matter of seconds. "Jim no!" You got in the ring, trying to get Jim off of Michael, but he was determined to get Michael to submit to him.

"Hands..." Michael said, barely above a whisper, so ever lightly tapping Jim's leg, causing Jim to immediately let him go, Michael choking on his own spit, gasping for air, in pain, due to his side. Jim stood up, throwing his gloves off, running out of the ring, hands in his hair as he stormed out of the room.

"Michael." you said, placing your hand on his chest, wanting him to stay still. "Calm down baby, breathe. In 3...2...1. Out 3...2...1."

"My side." he breathed out. You looked at it and the giant bruise waisted no time forming. Michael's eyes went black for a few moments, him scanning over his own body to make sure nothing was broken. He blinked a few times, his eyes returning back to that ocean blue. "This is going to suck for the next couple of days. Where's Jim?"

"He stormed off." you said, fighting back your own tears. "Why can't you just listen?! What if you got seriously hurt."

"Y/N, I'm fine." Michael said sternly.

"He said he didn't want to hurt you, but you made him anyways, Michael." Michael fell silent, knowing good and well that this was his fault. He sighed, groaning as he laid his head back down against the floor, holding onto his side.

In their bedroom, Jim was a teary-eyed mess as he paced back and forth, pulling at his own hair as his cheeks puffed in and out. He had hurt Michael. He knew he did and that's exactly what he didn't want to do. He heard his scream when he fell to the ground. He heard the tear of his muscle as he pulled his arm back over his head and he still didn't stop.

"Fuck." he said to himself as he peeled his shorts off, heading into their bathroom. Their shower, big enough to have a small party in, wall seats, he stepped into, making the water all the way hot. He stood under the water, rinsing the first layer of sweat off, letting his tears fully flow. Not wanting to hear himself cry, he turned on the shower stereo, blasting music as the water changed different colors due to the stereo lights. He rested his head against the shower wall, reaching for the bottle of shampoo when he heard the shower door open.

"Y/N.." he called out. "Is... is... is he okay?"

"No." a voice said, that wasn't yours. "But he will be." Jim bit down on his lip hard as the tears continued to flow.

"Michael I'm so sorry.. I didn't want to. I told you..."

"Sssh." Michael said, limping over to Jim who happened to be by one of the wall seats. He sat down, still holding onto his side. "I pushed you too far, Jim. You did nothing wrong, okay?" Jim looked over at Michael and noticed the large bruise that his so desperately tried to hide.

"I did that, didn't I?" Jim asked, getting riled up again.

"Jim, no, no. It's okay. I promise."

"Don't fucking lie to me, Michael. I- I- I- did that to you!"

"Accidents happen Jim! I know you didn't mean to. I provoked you. I will deal with the consequences of my actions."

"You know, you're not so easy to fucking deal with." Jim said, pacing back and forth in front of Michael.

"I know." Michael groaned as he shifted in his seat, getting some if the hot water on him. He moaned softly as the pulsating jets soothed a small amount of pain in his side "C'mere." Jim stepped directly in front of Michael, getting down on his knees to wedge his way in between his legs. "I appreciate the gesture, but I want you to sit next to me." He listened, carefully getting up as to not slip and fall and joined Michael. He placed his hand softly on Jim's thigh, rubbing it with his thumb.

"Do you know why I fell in love with you, Jim?" Michael asked, staring at his lover.

"No, honestly." Jim answered. "I'm just some fucked up kid from Palos Verdes."

"Jim Mason, don't you ever say that to me again."

"Well it's true."

"I fell in love with you because your soul is still so pure. You have a lot of heart Jim that goes beyond just loving Y/N and I. You're passionate about things. Don't look at this bruise as an attack on me. This is a remind that no one should ever fuck with Jim Mason, right?" Jim stayed silent, tears still running down his face, causing Michael to squeeze his thigh, probing for an answer. "Right?"

"Right." Jim said back, knowing that Michael doesn't like to wait for answers. He took his hand from Jim's thigh, patting his lap. "I don't wanna-,"

"I didn't ask you whether or not you wanted to hurt me. I asked you to sit in my lap." Jim, slowly made his way over to Michael's lap. Michael groaning as Jim sat back again him.

"I can get up." Jim said, but Michael firmly wrapped his arm around his waist.

"There's no need for that."  Michael placed soft kisses along his back, causing Jim to shiver despite being warm from the water. "So precious. My Jim."

"Your Jim." Jim confirmed, causing Michael to smile against his back. "Please don't make me do that again."

"I won't." Michael grabbed Jim's throat, tilting his head back so that their blue eyes met each other's. "But what I will do, Jim Mason, is fuck you senseless in this shower." Jim whined, not only from the pressure his neck, but from the seriousness in Michael's voice and the feel of his growing erection against his bare ass. "You tease me all the time with those little MMA shorts you wear, so tight against your skin, basically begging for one of us to humiliate you."

"Are you guys really about to have fun without me?" you asked, pouting as you opened the shower door, immediately wet by the sight. Michael chuckled softly against Jim's neck, tongue gracing over his jugular, causing Jim's breathing to speed up.

"And look who has made it just in time. Do you still want to show me how fun it is to be hands on?"

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid

#cody fern #cody fern imagine #michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon smut #jim mason #jim mason imagine #jim mason smut #jim mason x reader #michael langdon x reader #tribes of palos verdes #ahs apocalypse #american horror story #outpost michael

[otakween]

0-sen Hayato - Volume 1

I wasn't going to read this because I thought it was lost to time, but then I found some free raws here: https://www.sukima.me/book/title/BT0000719526/

Chapter 1

-This should be an interesting read considering my WWII knowledge is very limited. My Dad is obsessed with WWII and airplanes, so anything I know I know from being around him. (And a basic public high school education).

-I don't fully understand what's going on here (due to my Japanese being limited). From what I can understand, Hayato was fighting in Indonesia but then got sent back to Japan for more training because he's really good at shooting down planes?

-Hayato appears to be kind of a Gary Stu so far. They've emphasized how young he is and all the other dudes marvel at his kill count.

-This might just be how older series worked, but I feel like this series doesn't have a hook or gimmick going for it. It's just a generic WWII story (so far anyway). I wonder if any crazy twists are in store or if it's going for realism.

-Already picking up some war/airplane related vocab from this. It's good to read manga about very specific topics from time to time

Chapter 2

-In this chapter Hayato perfects his speed takeoff skills and loses a lot of sleep in the process. This is definitely one of those overly masculine series that romanticizes "the grind." I'll take my 8 hours of sleep a night thanks :')

-The rival guy in this is comically generic. Definitely a Sasuke type lol. Ironically he accuses Hayato of being an "Iga ninja" because he survives a plane crash without a scratch. I really don't get how ninja work. In this situation they're definitely referring to the magical kind. How often are they thought of as magical vs. what they actually were historically?

-This manga seems to use a lot of hiragana in places I would expect kanji, probably because it's for children. This just makes it hard for me to read because I have difficulty knowing where one word ends and another begins!

-The drill sergeant revealing his true personality was cute. I wonder if in modern days they consider the potential for psychological trauma in boot camp situations? Or does that kinda go out the window? Do soldiers have therapists?

Chapter 3

-The squad gets to go to war for real this time, but not before fighting a little bit. Things got slightly religious here as they prayed to Hachiman (according to Wikipedia, that's the war deity).

-The soldiers portrayed here are very gung-ho about dying for their country and excited to fight. I wonder how much of this is propaganda and how much lines up with reality. I was taught in high school that Japanese soldiers were OP because of their willingness to die for Japan, so maybe it's not that much of an exaggeration?

Chapter 4

-Loool here come the Americans. I don't know why but it's always funny to me when I'm reading a foreign work and the Americans are the bad guys. Definitely refreshing to get the other perspective for once.

-So we find out that the higher ups were planning on using Hayato's squad as kamikaze pilots. That got dark pretty quick. Leader dude refuses but...is he allowed to do that? I don't really know how that works. Guess I'll find out!

Chapter 5

-I barely understood this chapter, but basically they got some kind of new mission and are excited.

-Hayato's little girlfriend is a cutie :)

-The gang is none-the-wiser about almost being sent to their death. I wonder if kamikaze missions were kind of kept under wraps or widely known about?

Chapter 6

-The gang bombs the Americans' fuel supply and uses clever tactics to navigate through the rain and trick the enemy into flying into a locust swarm. The rain part was pretty interesting. I didn't know the word zigzag existed in Japanese lol

-The American dialogue is a bit painful to read because it's stylized in katakana to suggest that they're speaking English

-The word for aircraft formation is "hentai" teehee (different kanji)

Chapter 7

-Everyone makes it out of the fight with the Americans and when they return people are shook by how OP they are.

-Really don't like how propagandistic this is (although that's what I signed up for). When the characters are resting they're like "This is boring! All I want to do is fight." Also, they act like they're playing a fun game of tag as they're gunning people down. Empathy/mental health who?

-Sasuke guy is really annoying in ever scene he's in lol. He kinda reminds me of Bakugo with his "I'm never happy/satisfied" personality.

-When Hayato tested the confetti trick out with his friend (essentially tossing confetti at his plane so he can't see) I was like "wtf? Isn't that really dangerous!?" This manga doesn't put a whole lot of value on the human lives that are constantly at risk.

Chapter 8

-Not sure I followed what happened in this chapter. From what I could gather, the Americans disguised as a medic ship sunk some Japanese ships. The gang came across this too late and wanted to pursue the Americans, but the leader dude said it was too risky. Leader dude's superior then yelled at him for being weak.

-I googled it but found no evidence of countries using disguised hospital ships during wartime. So I guess that part is fiction?

Chapter 9 & 10

-Hayato and Ishiki get reprimanded for attacking a hospital ship and get suspended from flying. They break the rules, however, and fly anyway because the team is weaker without them.

-In the middle of the gang's fight with the Americans everyone has to retreat due to a tornado. It's really weird to me when the two enemy sides banter like "You get away this time, but next time I'mma getcha!" They talk like they're playing soccer, not murdering each other.

Chapter 11

-Proud of how much of this chapter I understood. Not sure if my reading comprehension is improving or if this chapter was just really easy.

-Learned that the word for "police cell" in Japanese is "pig box" and laughed

-In this chapter Hayato and Ishiki face punishment for attacking the hospital ship (even though only Ishiki did it). They're punished by being locked up for a few days. Meanwhile, Hayato's Daddy calls up the team leader guy and is like "how's Hayato doing??" Team leader guy puts on a charade for the rest of the chapter that Hayato is fine but too busy to talk to his dad.

-I felt the end of this volume was pretty abrupt. I believe this was written in a time where manga was just serialized in newspapers/magazines and volumes didn't matter much. Wonder if that means we won't get a true story arc.

#0 sen hayato #manga that no one else reads lol #manga

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told,  I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

#September #Movies #Wrap-up #Follow For More #Films #Twitter: @MHShukster #Fanny and Alexander #Another Round #Shang-Chi #Your Name. #The Lego Batman Movie #Terminator 2: Judgment Day #Mirror #The Night House #The Ritual #Monty Python and the Holy Grail #Malignant #A Nightmare on Elm Street #Her #Alien #Aliens #Gunpowder Milkshake #I Lost My Body #Alice In Wonderland #WALLE #WALL-E #Killing Them Softly #The Dirties #Blade Runner 2049 #No Time To Die

[voidcat]

– Stardust

Characters: Oikawa Tooru/You

Genre: fluff/comfort, heart to heart on reader’s part (questioning your place in the universe and all)

Summary: Sleep does not come some nights when it gets loud inside your head. Pebbles thrown at your window feels something out of movies. Oikawa Tooru being the one to do feels unreal. So you do what everyone does in dreams, is this a dream?, and follow his lead.

Word Count: 4.3k (i poured my heart out pls respond)

A/N: I didn’t write it with a song in mind but Kimochi Warui (When?  When? When? When? When? When? When?) sounded fitting while proofreading. Take it as a suggestion if you want.  – ao3 - PART 2

It’s late. 

Too late to still be up. Too late to be thinking like this. 

Too late to be up, awake, vibrating with all these overwhelming thoughts filling your head, wanting to break free, scratching the inside of your skull like feral animals, dying to get out.

It’s late and you keep lying down just like that. Hands clasped over your stomach, eyes locked onto the ceiling, trying not to think, keeping your mind blank like a newly bought sketchbook.

You lie like that for seconds feeling like hours and hours feeling like seconds.

You lie awake, the dim moon light entering your room lazily. All too familiar thoughts plaguing your mind, telling things you’ve known since childhood over and over and over until you grow numb to the noise.

Tck.

You consider checking the time but you’re afraid it’ll still be too early for the new day to start.

Tck.

Was that an actual sound or the newest trick of your mind?

Tck.

They say third time is the charm. Third time also means it’s too much of a specific occurrence to be a coincidence. The noise seems to be coming from outside, something small hitting your window.

Irritation and curiosity taking over you at last, not to mention boredom, you make way to the window and open it.

You see Oikawa Tooru of all people waving with his phone at you, a little aggressively.

Walking back to your nightstand and picking up your phone, you receive a message.

>[Does your folks wake up early?]

>[Or check up on you first thing in the morning?]

[No. why?] Hitting the send button you wait, walking back there and looking at him again. Face lightened by the glow of his phone, you can make up his eyes and nose.

>[Wear something warm.]

>[And make that spicy tea thingy you like so much if you want.]

>[I’m waiting by the door.]

Weird is seeing Oikawa Tooru under your window at an hour no one else is awake. Him telling you to get dressed and come outside? That’s creepy and worrying.

[Why]

>[I’m doing you a favor out of the goodness of my heart for once.] You want to roll your eyes at that. Since when does he know what being good means? Towards you especially.

>[No shady business, I promise.]

>[Trust me.]

As if knowing what went in your mind, these texts show up on your screen. You come to a halt.

Your relationship with Oikawa was never good. You would ignore one another on the good days and be utterly destructive and spiteful on the bad days. He never gave you a reason or made a gesture to earn your trust, you don’t even recall hearing those words from him much. They are reserved for Iwaizumi and the team only.

So why do you find yourself in a dilemma, as if there’s something to choose, a decision to make? Because the logical thing for you to do, the in-character thing for you to do, is to say no, go back to bed and hope to fall asleep at some point. The usual set of action for you is to refuse whatever he has to offer and go back to your own thing.

But you’re done with the logical and the in-character. So you send a quick [I’ll be down in 5.], make way to prepare something warm first and change your clothes as you wait for it to heat up. A sweatshirt should be enough.

Being too lazy and out-of-it to function once in a while pays, because instead of having to brew the tea and wait for a long while, you just heat up the already brewed and stashed one and pour it to your thermos.

Silently opening the door and getting out, you see Oikawa leaning against the wall.

He walks away when he sees you, you follow without a word. Soon enough you’re met with a car. Since when he has a car?

Wait, no. Don’t ask, don’t wait for an answer. Don’t look at the stupid car, don’t examine it. It is a dream after all, right? What’s the point in observing things when you’ll forget about them first thing in the morning?

Following his lead, you get inside the passenger seat, hear him start the engine, watch his hand reach for the stereo. A low hum arise.

It sounds like he picked a channel on random, the music isn’t bad per se, the volume is down. So it doesn’t exactly bother you either. Getting comfortable in your seat and resting your head against the window, you watch the blur of images go by.

There is no moon tonight, the only source of light is the street lamps coming into view and leaving as fast. Houses, buildings, trees, everything belonging to the day pass by in a fog and smear of colors. Almost like a quick brush of oil paint. It’s calming in a quiet before the thunderstorm kind of way.

As the road goes under the wheels, less and less houses come in to your view.

“Where to?”

Oikawa gives you a quick glance. He almost looks surprised to see you speak. Did he just assume you’d stay quiet all night?

“You’ll see.” His tone doesn’t match his face.

“What’s the meaning of it?”

“Consider it a favor.” This marks the end of your short lived conversation.

You don’t need to recognize the road he takes to understand he’s driving out of town, out of Miyagi. The why of it keeps floating in your head, you can’t apply the ‘it’s a dream’ tactic any more either, you are too awake for that, in both senses.

Turning your attention back on the sidelines, you let your mind wander off to meaningless assumptions.

A light behind the trees, you imagine a lonely night creature, lurking around to find his lost love.

You spot an animal you can’t identify and make up a story about an once-successful maiden, falling fool to a wicked spell.

You look at the trees and imagine nature coming to life in humanoid form, mutating and taking its revenge on human race.

Hearing a ribbit nearby and you recall the time your mother read you the Princess and the Frog years ago.

You turn left to look at Oikawa. Finding your phone inside your pocket and raising it in a show-and-tell manner, you wait for him to take notice and turn off the stereo. You press play.

Satie’s Once Upon A Time In Paris fills the air.

You note the relaxation in his shoulders. You let the melody take over your body as well.

Closing your eyes and holding your hands in the air, you can see the keys in front of you.

Hitting the keys one by one, reaching for the pedal, you can feel it flow through you. Head moving on its own, dancing with the melody, Gymnopedie no.1 as calm and serene as ever. Simple like a short quote on love from a poet.

It ends silently, Gnossienne no.3 enters with much more emotion.

It’s almost comical how many times you’ve played this exact piece but almost never listened to others playing. It sounds like you in some ways, some tints and emphasis different than how you’d play but that’s all you got right now.

You don’t need to break out of the music’s hold or open your eyes to catch Oikawa’s gaze on you once in a while. You went through all this before on so many occasions. Be it on public transportation and a piece you connect with comes on, you can’t stop your fingers from trying to play it on air, making keys out of nitrogen and oxygen in the air. Your body starting to move on its own after a while. Strangers giving you funny looks all the while.

The notes gain meaning and heaviness, hanging in the air and making way for the following ones as fast.

When the B bemols come, you can feel a stinging feeling in your eyes.

Since when does Gnossienne no.3 make you want to cry? Why now of all times?

You don’t care, you don’t want the answers, you don’t want to understand or reach a new level of understanding within yourself. Just shutting yourself out completely and taking in all the music with a deep breathe, you lean back as far as you can into the seat.

Gnossienne no.4 starts and your hands no longer itch to play.

When Oikawa pulls up at last, the music has long ended.

Getting off with your thermos in one hand, you look around.

Not a single building, a sign of life in sight. Where the hell did he bring you?

You can see his figure searching for something in the back seat, some shuffling reaches your ear. You look at the few and far between trees in the distance. It is a dead night. Not even wind, not even some comical tumbleweeds are in sight to add some motion. Time has stopped completely.

You don’t realize Oikawa’s signals for the second time that night, just as you didn’t hear him throwing pebbles at your window.

Noticing the loud thud, as him patting the hood of his car a little too late, only when he starts to get loud, you look back up. He’s sitting there, patting the space next to him, the gesture all too familiar.

Your mind wanders back to the moments you’d do the same, asking your cat to come sit with you, listen to you ramble, maybe purr for you, hear your sobs or meow at your antics. Tilting your hand with her head, bumping your legs with her tail. Those moments painted golden, filtered with a gray film, already gone, leaving nothing but a sharp pain in your chest.

You climb and sit, careful not to have any physical contact with him.

“Why are we here?” you try one last time.

“I didn’t want to be alone.” He says. Nodding your head at that, you’re not exactly surprised. The way he always surrounds himself with people, no matter the proximity and bond he shares with them.

He answered a question, maybe he can answer few more before I drive him to the limit, you think. “Why me?” This nags at your brain more than any other current question you have for him.

“It seemed fitting.”

“Why not Hajime or Makki, or even Mattsun?”

“Iwa-chan has come on little trips such as this with me before. I didn’t want to drag him tonight. Asking anyone else I’m close with didn’t sound like a good idea. And frankly? You seemed like you could use a break like this today.”

Observant prick.

“So, what exactly? We share one cozy moment tonight and return to our daily selves of hating one another in the morning?” His silence is a yes enough. “Sure, sounds good then.”

After the little conversation, you are back examining the surroundings, the comforting stillness in the air, the silence, the emptiness and the blackness of it all.

It gets boring after a while. Not wanting to disturb Oikawa further and at a loss of what else to do in the middle of nowhere, you look up at last.

Oh.

You forget to breathe for a few seconds. And that doesn’t even seem to be a problem in your eyes.

Has he done this before? How long has he been going out at ungodly hours for this?

You knew Oikawa Tooru was obsessed with space and aliens, thanks to Iwaizumi, but you never expected it to be on a more serious, in-depth level. Not like this.

Never like this.

Billions of stars hanging in the night sky, most millions of years old, blinking from a long gone past, probably dead in their current time.

A calm breeze washing over your wholly, reminding you just how small you are, your life is and how it is all okay because in the big picture you’re all nothing but dust. Destined to be forgotten by history in few centuries, if not decades.

Seeing all these stars, colorful lights what you hope are planets, an arm of the Milky Way, flowing like a waterfall and you feel a sense of security you haven’t felt in a while.

There is something comforting about the night sky, the way it can show you your unimportance in the big picture, your place in all this. You feel whole with the universe. You belong.

So you look up, and up and up. Stare at the sky, blink at the stars, smile at the constellations you spot and remember their stories, the gods and the myths, the heroes and the queens…

You look back at Oikawa then. As if remembering only now that he is there by your side.

Facing the sky in a manner just like yours, you can see the stars on his face. Shining on his hair, cheeks and in his eyes. Almost like stardust.

He looks ethereal, unreachable, enchanting. And a little vulnerable. All that tension, layers of masks he puts on each day, all the fake smiles and empty look in his eyes are gone.

Raw and pure.

This is the truest of Oikawa you’ve ever seen.

The admiration can be read from his eyes. His face holding an emotion you’ve seen on him once or twice. Not intense like this, never like this. You’ve seen the same look on him for Iwaizumi but only for a second, when he’s sure no one is watching.

With the same eyes, he watches the starry night sky.

He looks like he belongs up there. Not in a “be an astronaut and go to space” but in a “should be there, amongst the stars, his memory up there, to be remembered by everyone gazing upon the starry night. Like a constellation, become a constellation, a legend and a story, and so much more, just like Orion and Andromeda.”

This is the closest to Oikawa Tooru you’ve ever been. The thought gives you a shiver.

Seeming to notice that, he gives you a puzzled look and raises his right arm. You realize the blanket around his form then. He’s making an offer.

“Don’t worry, three people can fit in easily, it’s wide enough for the both of us.” When his face turned to you, it’s dark, no source of light to reflect on his skin.

You scoot over to him, under the blanket. The two of you refocus back on the scene above you.

Remembering the little mug inside your front pocket, you open the lid of your thermos and start pouring some tea, the steam leaving a little trail behind. You hold out the mug to Oikawa, he just looks at you, the confusion clear on his face.

Why are you offering me the tea you brought for yourself?

What makes you think I’d trust you enough to taste something you made?

“We said tonight was our little secret, right? I can use the cap as a mug, don’t worry.”

Your words and clarification seems to convince him somewhat, holding the mug with both hands, he smells it before taking a sip.

Silence falls over again and it’s much nicer this time.

Not even the coldness can get to you or pull you out of the warm embrace you’re in. The warmth around your shoulders, more provided by the idea of the blanket than the blanket itself. Like a thin veil, separating the real world from your little bubble of escape.

It’s new moon, no reflecting lunar light to block your view of stars. Sitting under the tent of black, blue, white and red; it feels divine. Divine to live in the moment, to truly breathe, to witness something so enthralling and forever.

To stand by yourself, stripped bare of everything; your layers, titles, names and ticks, clothes and paints, to be a newborn again, to reborn again, all alone, in an endless room, empty and cold, filled with stars and gods, stories to tell and dreams to see.

To feel whole again, alone again, hopeless again but reach a self-realization again, to taste nectar and discover the secrets of the universe, converse with the long gone philosophers and waltz with supernovas.

You’re not alone. Not completely.

Maybe left alone with your thoughts in this dead land and you know how one can never have company in their own mind, forever trapped alone. Yet in that moment, you’re not alone. Moving your head to steal a glance at the boy next to you again, you understand it well. It all happens so fast.

“Isn’t it ironic? How as humans we use a word like ‘star’ for untouchable celebrities, important people and such while in reality stars are nothing but these giant balls of plasma-“ gesturing a ball with your hands now, thermos sitting between your legs, “-with their ongoing chemical reactions, sputtering molecules of hydrogen and helium and all, until they come to an end with their current phase of life. If you can call that life.” You say all these with your eyes locked onto the stars, Oikawa’s locked on you. You keep going.

“Speaking of life, what is even life? Aren’t we just a bunch of organic components somehow managing to come together, build a system and gain conscious somehow? Just trying to survive until an outer force comes or our cells come off? Isn’t it technically our cells living, in a way?”

“Aren’t we just piles of protein just walking around and doing things that make no sense but to us?  Until we come to an end with our current phase of life? Doing what we see fit or fun or appropriate until it all ends.” It’s not a question any more. He doesn’t give you an answer.

“Aren’t we all children of the stars in a different point of view? All our molecules and elements coming from them. I mean, look at them. We see them blinking and smirking and smiling at us but for all we know they could’ve ended long ago. They could’ve become part of a new life for all we know. They break down and give birth to us, pieces of us; and in return we go back to them when we are gone. Despite being made of stardust, we live pretty shit lives huh?” You give him a lopsided smile, facing him as you say your last words.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?” he replies.

“For far too long to pinpoint an exact date actually.” You almost say in a singsong voice. He frowns at that slightly.

“But I am right! Right? I mean, you’re a space nerd! You must know what I’m talking about.”

“Understanding and putting it into words in such a depressing way are two different things.”

Pouting at that, you look the opposite direction sharply. “Whatever, I know I am right.”

His gaze is still on you. “Is that what you’re like most of the time? I don’t get how Iwa-chan deals with you.” He must be shaking his head now.

“Iwa-chan can’t read minds last time I checked.” You deadpan.

His laugh fills the air at that. Light and lively, carefree; you doubt you’ve heard him laugh before. It sounds wonderful.

You wonder how things would’ve been between you and Oikawa, if the circumstances were different. If you never met Iwaizumi that day, would your paths still cross? Would you finish your Aoba Johsai years never meeting him?

Would you meet Oikawa on your own? Could you ever be friends, instead of dancing around one another and spitting out insults whenever you can? Would you like him in another world? Value his friendship, the person he is? Would the two of you have met before or become something more?

All these unanswered questions hanging in the air and you find yourself looking at him again.

His smile looks different now, he looks different, changed. Almost breathtaking. Is that what Iwaizumi means by his ‘fake smiles’?

A honest smile looks good on him.

You find yourself smiling back.

“Hey.” He nudges your shoulder with his. “If you still want to complain about the meaningless of life and all that, be my guest. I promise I won’t listen.”

Taken aback by his wording, you give him a confused look.

“Tonight doesn’t exist, remember?”

“…Right.” You decide to lean back and lie under the stars.

Feeling a tug at the blanket after a while, you see him placing the mug down next to the tire. You hand him your thermos as he regains his composure, he complies silently and leans back when he’s done.

All there is in the air is your faint breathing now. Never matching one another, sometimes loud, sometimes ghostly. There is no rhythm, no adjusting subconsciously. Completely independent.

You take a deep breath and start.

“It feels grey most of the time. Not in a ‘there’s never two sides, everything is grey, blah blah.’ But more like a numbness of grey.”

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything, nothing to show or to indicate that he is listening. You continue talking.

“Like lacking all color and feeling in life, blocking all there is to see and enjoy and I am left with nothing but… grey.

Grey to the point of everything is filtered, there are no boundaries, it all feels the same, plays the same and I am afraid. I am afraid of hurting. Hurting myself, being hurt myself and hurting the ones around me. Not the ones I love, I don’t even know love. What is love?” You turn to look at him.

“I tried thinking about it, reading about it, understanding it on a chemical and hormonal way. Consulted mathematics and never got an answer. It feels made up, a fairy tale to feel better, to attach ourselves to one another.

I fear I came across love and didn’t notice it, I fear I brushed it off for something else and now it’s too late.”

With each pause, it gets easier to speak, harder to talk. Finding the right words, using your vocal chords, moving your tongue, writing your sentences in your mind. You don’t feel the tears gathering around your eyes or going down your cheeks. You wait for the robot title, to be called heartless and how you have a rock in your chest. They never come.

“Do you really fear of hurting him?” There’s no doubt he is talking about Iwaizumi.

“I don’t know.”

“But you care for him.”

“I don’t know.”

“Think before you answer.” He says then, voice stern.

“I think I care for him but I fear I will ruin him.”

The unspoken ‘how so?’ is in the air.

“I feel grey to the point of dust and decay. I fear everything I touch either drives away from me or decays. I don’t want to lose him. I think I care for him. But I don’t want to watch him stay by my side and crumble one by one.

I don’t want to go from grey to blue.”

“Doesn’t he make you happy? I’ve seen genuine smiles on you when you’re with him. You almost light up when he enter a room or sits beside you.”

“What’s the point of happiness if it’s dependent on one person? It is not fair to either parties.”

He starts tsking. “Too many don’ts for that age. You’ll end up with wrinkles before your thirties.”

He stops prying after that.

The air begins to grow colder, a little breeze picks up.

The stars are as cold as ever, blinking diamonds in the sky.

You swear you see the arm of Milky Way coming into motion, flowing like a stream.

For what feels like an hour, it is quiescent. You decide to break it one last time.

“Speaking of stars, you and Iwaizumi are like neutron stars. Can be found alone or orbiting one another, chasing after each other, forever together and merged at last. Both stars on your own but as captivating when together.”

The hour taking its toll on you, your senses grow duller. You can’t hear his breathing without focusing, even the stars are getting blurry.

“Then you’re like a black dwarf.” Oikawa speaks up. “Because you feel unreal most of the time.”

You both fall back into silence. You don’t ask him if he meant it as a compliment and he doesn’t answer.

You don’t need to know which way he meant, in a way, you already know the response to that.

Tonight isn’t real. It’ll cease to exist in a few hours and you let these rare moments sink in. Probably the closest you’ll ever be to Oikawa Tooru, closest see him like this. It almost feels familiar, like you’ve done this before, went on stargazing with him and opened your heart out to him. It feels like a dream, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. You chuckle at your attempt of a joke lightly.

It is serene around the two of you and in your mind. A placidity you haven’t had without the help of  a distraction in a long while.

“Thanks Tooru.”

His name falls out of your lips like you use it on the daily. Like the comforting shuffle of a worn out sweater as you put it on, the chirping of this family of birds living by your house for decades, the warm meow of your cat when you’re headed to bed. It sounds natural.

Scooting closer to him until your head rests on his chest. He just wraps his arm around you, pulling you further. Not a single word on your way of addressing him. And not a word from you on his way of holding you.

The moment will cease to exist in the morning, along with your confessions and the blinking lights of the stars. In a few hours it’ll no longer be real. So you decide to give it a shot at being close to him in all senses, share something the two of you will never have. Wrapping your arm around his torso, listening closely to his heart. Your head under his chin, his hand atop yours, you fall asleep until the sun comes.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #heart to heart #oikawa tooru x reader #hq oikawa #hq imagines #hq fanfiction #stargazing #oikawa tooru fanfiction #oikawa tooru fanfic #oikawa tooru imagines #oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x you #hq writing #hq fanfic #fluff #comfort #stardust #oikawa imagine #oikawa fanfiction #oikawa scenarios #oikawa imagines #oikawa fluff #hq imagine #haikyuu writing #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #gender neutral reader

[playboyshiritorizawa]

don’t leave japan! kenma

Pairing: timeskip!kenma x f!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Summary: It’s the last straw when you break up with your boyfriend, but can either of you live without the other?

Genre: angst with fluff at the end

Warnings: crying, breakup, I think that’s it

A/N: peep the anohana reference at the end. Might post a part 2 to this so let me know if you would be interested!

You had spent the past two hours waiting for your boyfriend to finish live streaming. He kept saying "10 more minutes..." trailing on to his viewers. Eventually you gave up and started setting up your cake, being sure that by the time you were done he would finally be ready. With a glow in your heart and a quick dust of your dress you got the courage to enter his gaming room.

"Kenma are you ready? I'm really excited to go out tonight-"

"Why don't we just go out another night." Your heart dropped, it was your birthday after all. He already promised he would go out with you tonight. There's no way he could have forgotten. "It's just a Thursday, why would we go out on a Thursday?" He did.

"But Kenma-"

"My god Y/N can't you take a hint!" It was the first time he had faced you all night. Your eyes began to sting as he lashed out at you. "I'm sorry, but I don't see how this is my fault." He turned back to his game adding some commentary after apologizing for the interruption as you stood there shocked.

"..my friends were right, I was only going to get hurt in the end." You heard Kenma tsk at you as if you were nothing more than a nuisance. "I'm breaking up with you." Kenma ripped off his headset, eyes bewildered as he faced you.

"What?!"

"I moved half way across the world to a country I barely speak the language of and have no friends," your voice quivered. "Just to be treated like shit." Eyes leaking, you watch as Kenma scans your face for any kind of hidden motive. "I don't ask much of you Kenma, all I wanted was you to remember my birthday and spend some time with me."

Kenma quickly got up as he saw you start to run out of the apartment. He trailed you but before he knew it you were already out the door and disappeared down the hallway.

"Y/N! Please, I'm so sorry! I will do anything to make it up to you." He called out after you as you rushed to put your shoes on, not even worrying about grabbing your keys. "I promise I'll do better! This is my first serious relation-"

"Cut the bull shit Kenma, it's not an excuse to treat your girlfriend like shit. You treat random girls on the internet better than you treat me. You don't think I don't notice how much you flirt with them? How would you like it if-" Your voice cracked. "This whole thing was a mistake."

Kenma watched as you ran out the door and he couldn't help but let out a defeated laugh. Tears escaped his eyes in his slouch to his game room. He looked up at the computer as he walked up, he leaned in quickly looking for the end button. He didn't even say goodbye and the end screen of his red eyes would soon be making it onto twitter.

He slowly made his way to your shared bedroom and fell onto the bed. He hugged your pillow tight to his chest as he buried his face. It still smelled like you, the thought caused him to start sobbing.

"I... love... you... please... don't... leave..." He pleaded into your pillow as if you could hear him. He needed you more than anything, he knew that was true. So why? Why did he have to mess everything up.

It had been three days since your fight and you were hiding out on Hinata and Bokuto's couch. You felt awful for just being there after all they were Kenma's friends, but you had no where else to go. It's not like it mattered anyway you would be gone by the end of the week. You would leave them money to cover you being there and you would never see any of them again. It would one day be a funny story that secretly pangs you that you would tell to your kids.

Not even a day later Kenma had released a statement saying he would be going on an extended hiatus. You know you shouldn't care, but you still worried about him. You loved him more than life itself and knowing Kenma he would not be taking care of his basic needs. You weren't sure if it was out of love or instinct, you picked up your phone, ignoring all the messages from Kenma, and called Kuroo.

"Y/N, oh my god do you know how worried everyone has been about you? Are you okay because I know Kenma's not at all." Your heart dropped.

"Can you please go over to Kenma's apartment and make sure he eats something. I have a feeling he hasn't been eating."

"Ok is that all you wanted to talk about."

"If you could continue doing that until Kenma feels a little better, I know he'll find another girl to replace me soon enough. Don't tell anyone, but I'm leaving Japan Friday and I don't plan on returning."

"No, Y/N you don't have to leave. I know this isn't what you want, you care about Kenma too much."

"Yes, that's the problem. I can't keep giving him my all for him to only give me 10% back. If I stay I'll just end up getting hurt even more."

"C'mon Y/N, just talk to Ken-" Before he could even finish his sentence you had hung up on him. Kuroo looked down at his phone. He did originally plan to see Kenma afterwork, but work could wait for now.

He made his way off the busy streets up into the large complex with a bag of food. You had even texted him to bring him some apple pie. It was comical really, anyone could see that. Yet you knew you wouldn't be able to help it. Kuroo took out the spare key and shoved open the door only to see Kenma balled up on the couch watching some cartoon. Kenma shot up hoping that it would be you, but he could only help but let out more dry tears at the sight.

"Why the hell are you watching Sailor Moon?"

"Y/N."

"What?"

"It's her favorite and I never wanted to watch it with her." Kuroo made his way around and squatted in front of his best friend. Undeniably he looked disgusting; greasy hair, dark circles, red eyes, knotted hair, tissues everywhere, leaky eyes.

"Here eat this." Kuroo shoved the take out in Kenma's face. He just slowly shook his head and Kuroo couldn't help but flick his friend right between the eyes.

"Hey what was that for?" Kenma said finally sitting up and starring at Kuroo in disbelief. Wasn't it obvious that he was in pain after losing you.

"Do you even know why I'm here and brought you food? Y/N!" The rooster headed boy couldn't help but get heated. "Even after treating her like shit she calls me to make sure your okay! Kenma you are honestly so stupid because I know no one else will ever love you how much this girl loves you." Kuroo threw the food onto the coffee table and started to head out.

"Wait she called about me?" Maybe she'll give me another chance.

"If you actually care about this girl you'll go to Hinata and Bokuto's place and convince her to stay in Japan, because if she leaves I'm going to be pretty upset about it too." Kenma shot up to his feet and starred at Kuroo in disbelief. "Oh yeah she told me she's moving back to the United States on Friday."

"No you're lying." Kuroo just let himself out as Kenma starred in disbelief at the door. You weren't really leaving Japan, were you?

Those words were what made him get ready for once. You usually helped him out with his hair and he desperately tried to blow dry and style it. As soon as he got changed he was out the door and rushing over to your hide out. If he did nothing you would be gone in four days and he knew it would destroy him.

As Hinata opened the door he instantly spotted Bokuto squatting in front of you. "C'mon Y/N-san, it's been 4 days and you've eaten nothing. At least have some water." He cooed to you as he pet your head. He couldn't help but ball up his fists at the sight. That should be him and no one else. Bokuto looked over and saw Kenma. He quickly threw a pillow into your face. "If you are looking for Y/N I have no idea where she is."

"I can see her right there."

"Well she doesn't want to talk to you." Bokuto crossed his arms as you slowly sat up. "Don't worry Y/N I won't let him near you." Kenma eyes prickled with tears as he slowly watched you grab Bokuto's arm.

"It's ok, Bo. I'll be fine." You gave him a soft smile. Your first smile in 4 days and Bokuto just sighed as he walked out of the living room and to the adjoining kitchen. Hinata quietly excused himself and Kenma came over in an awkward silence.

"Y/N I am so so sorry. I will do anything. Just please don't leave Japan." The last part was a whisper but you heard it. You sighed as you urged him to sit down on the other end of the couch.

"I don't know Kenma." You couldn't face him so instead you just starred down at your lap. "I can't be with someone who I'm not even sure loves me." You sat in silence for a moment before a loud sob cut through the air, surprisingly it wasn't you. It caught you by surprise, you had never seen him cry.

"Please don't say that!" Kenma looked up at you with streams running down his cheek. "I know I'm not the best boyfriend, but please don't doubt that I love you." He harshly wiped his eyes as he continued his ramble. "I hate that I even made you feel this way. Please I don't think I can live without you. These last 4 days have been absolute hell and I don't know what I would do with myself if you disappear from my life."

You couldn't help it as you covered Kenma's hand with your own. His crying soothed as he looked up at you. He launched himself into you burying his face into your chest. His sobs continued and soon enough you both were a mess. It took some time but soon enough you had both managed to calm down, in the process wrapping your arms around him slowly rubbing his back.

"I know I'm going to the US, I'm not sure if it will be for a week or forever. I really need some time to think and let everything settle." You paused hearing Kenma sniffle. "I really do love you Kenma, but I need you to put more effort in and I don't know if you can do that."

"Please, Y/N take me to the US with you. Let me prove, to you I'm worth it. I can't lose you." He paused looking up at you from your chest. You had no idea what would leave his mouth next, but you certainly didn't know how to react. "I love you Y/N. My love for you is the sort of love where I want to marry you."

#kenma #kenma x y/n #hq #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma angst #kenma imagine