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xelasrecords · 1 year

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V and Jumin's Emotionally Distant Friendship

At first I wanted to laugh at Jumin roasting his friend for being pretty outside but empty inside but then what V said got me thinking

2 important statements here: 1) V believes that a friendship is a mirror that reflects oneself and 2) Jumin sees V as an empty statue, beautiful but hollow inside, something that people could only fleetingly appreciate before moving on to a more interesting thing because it has no depth. V agrees with Jumin, and even if we don't know whether Jumin believes in V's mirror analogy, it is true for them.

V and Jumin are lonely because the ones they love and claim to love them back never bother to know them deeply. They have the same insecurity, but their coping mechanism is different. V uses Rika to define himself as the man who could love grandly and withstand any trials and tribulations in the name of love. Jumin closes himself from everyone and projects his unhealthy definition of love onto his cat, building up the fantasy that it could understand him like a human would.

But once the illusion is shattered—that neither of them could give a perfect love because perfection doesn't exist—they break inside. V spirals into existential crisis while Jumin refuses to take back his cat that ran away from him. They share a common belief that their love has to be perfect. They have to be the best or they would be a failure. This is what Jumin says after he finally agreed to take back Elizabeth the 3rd due to V's persuasion:

But because V and Jumin are living in their own fantasies, how could they be there for each other? How could they look into each other's emptiness and recognise how lonely the other really is, and offer emotional support when they've never learned how to do so?

The emotional closeness doesn't exist in their friendship because they can't cross the bridge. They have a shared history and deep trust, but when there's a pressing matter in the present, they don't quite know how to strengthen each other, and what is a best friend if you can't be there for them when they need it the most?

Below is one of the examples where V thinks Jumin only ever keeps one thing from him when Jumin's biggest secret is actually his feelings for Rika that he had to hide to honour his best friend's relationship:

It's sad for everyone involved. V is blissfully ignorant and thankful that Jumin still trusts him despite his self-isolating secrets, while Jumin can't even show that he's also just as lonely. They can't lean on each other when they need to.

Sure, Jumin could get the best doctors for V due to his connections and V could persuade Jumin keep Elizabeth the 3rd because he knows him best. They were helpful on a surface level but the emotional job falls solely on the MC, which could be romantic if you look at it in a "wow there's only one person who could change them" way, but isn't it heartbreaking to have a friend so close to you yet feel so far away? Romantic love is important, but platonic friendship is just as meaningful. The trust and deep understanding of each other's nature are already there, so what they need to do is simply nurture their friendship and go to therapy.

On a more positive note, Jumin and V see their counterpart as the better person. V may believe that a friendship cannot change him since it's only a mirror, but if he sees Jumin as inherently better, doesn't that reflect his opinion on himself? They believe in themselves and feel their decisions validated because they trust each other. Jumin only decides to keep Elizabeth the 3rd because he values V's opinion highly, which in turn makes him better in accepting himself. V is always thankful for Jumin's unwavering trust, which pushes him to be a better person because he wants to be more like him.

Their selflessness is also a mirror. Who else but V and Jumin who would drop everything for the safety of the RFA? V would literally give up his life and Jumin would give up his C&R position and take the fall for the RFA.

I hope after their respective good endings, they'll learn to be vulnerable and open up. Their friendship will be more fulfilling and their trust will be strengthened because of it.

#brought to you by my overwhelming love for my best friend #i also see her as a mirror of my soul #mystic messenger #jumin han #jihyun kim #mystic messenger v #jumin han meta #jihyun kim meta #meta #analysis #mysme #xela talks

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keruimi · 1 month

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To Be Worthy of Someone

Tengen Uzui x reader

Warning: Angst and Comfort

Note: This oneshot gave a slight peek of what I'm experiencing in reality until it finally burst so I decided to let everything out in this. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I can't hide that worry, insecurities, and fear that I really have no one. Advice is greatly appreciated.

_____________________________

Before, I thought I could survive in this life as long as I had them.

The people who I shared my problems with, the people who once comforted me at my lowest.

The friends who I'm now watching from far away.

With my social anxiety, I can't have the strength to approach them.

Because I knew they would see me as an outsider.

They have the same interest, while I just join them to have someone accompany me in this lonely world.

Even the introverted people I knew found where they belong to.

So why do I feel like I don't belong anywhere?

The friends I got close with either become backstabbers or insensitive people.

Like one wrong move and they would never turn their head in my direction anymore.

I notice how distant I am to them.

That's what they made me feel.

One opinion from me, they would get angry or annoyed. Like I don't even have the right to speak.

Even the closest one I have, slowly to show her dislike on me.

I told myself I need to walk away, but I can't.

Because they are the only ones I have.

Even if they are the same people who made my self-hatred deepen more.

The same people who made me question if there is something wrong with me?

"Even the others saw you're just forcing yourself to them"

That's how the people around me saw it and I can't help but agree more.

They are right...

I have no true friends in the first place.

That it led me to the position where I am now. Facing the cliff where I once went before I thought of suicide.

I want to start a new life again.

Even if it means reaching the end of this life.

I thought I feared death or the monsters hiding within the shadows.

But I guess I feel more scared when the entire world makes me feel like I was no one at all.

Living in this kind of world doesn't benefit me.

So let's just end it

Even if I'm still confused if I was the one who ruined the friendship I tried so hard to protect.

But did it even exist in the first place?

I heard myself chuckle on my thoughts.

This is why I wanted reassurance. Words coming from their own mouth that I was accepted. That I was someone to the people who are important to me.

Because the time I'm pushed to the edge, the insecurities and doubt would catch up to me.

But I guess it's time to stop expecting too much.

It was toxic for myself to be with them.

If I leave, I will be free from the monsters on my mind who keep ruining me

So starting a life where no one would see me the same way the world did.

Is the best option I need to take.

I felt the tears leave my own eyes as I took a step towards the edge of the cliff.

It was the best for me.

This is for me.

I don't want to keep living in a world where I never felt like I belonged.

One step...

I want to live in a world where I am loved by the people I chose to love.

Where I don't question myself anymore if someone still loves me not out of obligation or responsibility.

Like the love I felt from my parents.

Another step...

Being the second born daughter who learned to become independent at such a young age, they decided by themselves that I can handle myself.

I have no one but myself.

And another...

I finally felt the feeling that people would only come to you if you have something they need.

I gave everything and it drained me.

No matter how much I practice just to reach their standards, learn the things they love even though I don't want those things.

I kept adjusting but no one decided to adjust just for me.

My efforts to be someone was for nothing.

The main thing I feared the most ever since I was a kid.

I feel like I am gladly accepting it right now with open arms.

I look at the moon shining above me.

May God forgive me...

And I finally braced myself to fall forward until a voice broke the barrier of my intentions.

I slowly glance at the person behind me as my eyes widen when the silhouette of the sound hashira is the one that greeted me.

Both of us were silent as I bow down as a respect for a high ranking warrior like him.

"How unflashy" I heard him murmur that made me step back to test him and I saw how he immediately moved from his position that made me stop from my movement.

Until he is within my reach...

I didn't dare lower my gaze at him and saw how he sighed when he realized my actions.

"Ending your life is not worth it. But I admire how you seem certain with this decision of yours" I felt his hand on my shoulder in a friendly manner that I can't help but look up to him who already has his eyes on me.

"Let's talk about this as a colleague of the Demon Slayer Corps"

That time I felt how I slowly changed my decision on ending it.

Because an unknown person decided to show his concern to a person like me.

And I decided to write another chapter of my own story

When I took the risk of trying again

~•~

The situation I am in right now made it clear that It was my fault I was in this kind of situation.

Being warmly embraced by the same man who lightened my world that night.

I don't know what I did to make him love me but I sure did ask him a lot about it.

So I can assure that I would never lose the trait that made me loved by him.

"Tengen, let me go. I still need to finish baking the snacks I'm preparing for you" I told him as I tried to remove his hands away from my waist.

But I stopped from my movement when I felt his lips that was giving small kisses on my shoulder lift into a small smile that made me turn red.

"What?" I have the urge to ask him and it was immediately followed by a chuckle.

"I'm just thinking how you are pushed into that decision when I begin to love everything about you" He stated honestly that made me stop struggling on his arms as I gave him a side glance.

It seems like he is giving me the answer I am badly asking for.

"Please do enumerate those so called 'things'" I challenge him but deep in my heart, I really want to keep holding on to those words he would speak out next.

I let out a squeal when he lifted me up to face him making it look like I was straddling him. I stayed still in that position as our eyes never left each other

"The way you give me everything you have. Whether its your time, love, care, advice, and effort. I love those"

His eyes gaze on mine as I felt how my eyes started to get glossy.

"It was no effort"

"No" he countered my words before chuckling. "Being that kind of person is already your character"

"Y/n, I love everything about you and I'm not kidding"

A small smile lifted from my lips as I thanked the heavens that my tears haven't fallen from my eyes yet.

I took the risk of loving him even though I'm not sure I would have the ending I wanted.

God has finally favored me...

I started to pepper kisses on his face as his arms on my waist started to tighten in an attempt to bring me closer to him.

I am deserving of his love too.

I surrounded myself with negativity that I forgot the loveable traits I have.

Because the time we got together, I made up my mind that I would do everything just to make him stay.

Even if it's exhausting...

Risky...

Scary...

As long as it's our love, I'll do my best to keep that one alive.

I felt his lips on mine...

My destiny finally went to my favor.

I am finally embraced by the person I love.

And I finally become someone important to someone's life

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #love #hashira x reader #kny #kny hashira #spotify #kny fanfic #comfort #kny tengen #tengen uzui x reader #tengen uzui #tengen x reader #demon slayer tengen #kny uzui #demon slayer uzui #uzui x reader

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mcflymemes · 10 months

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HELP! BY THE BEATLES PROMPTS * assorted lyrics from the album, adjust as necessary

i need somebody!

you make me dizzy.

why am i so shy when i'm beside you?

please come on back to me.

i'm part of you.

i want all the world to see we've met.

you'll be back again tonight.

i think i'm going to be sad.

i said i wish you were mine.

i want you to be my bride.

nobody in all the world can do what she can do.

i can never win.

i want to marry you.

open up your eyes now.

i might have looked the other way.

it's only love.

you'll never leave me.

now it looks as though they're here to stay.

why should i feel the way i do?

i think it's today.

i could never really live without you.

tell me what you see.

when i held you near, you were so sincere.

were you telling lies?

yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.

you know it's true.

look into these eyes now.

love will find a way.

you look so fine.

might win an oscar! you can never tell.

she said that living with me was bringing her down.

if you don't take her out tonight, she's gonna change her mind.

come on back and see just what you mean to me.

you know i need someone.

i'm lonely as can be.

listen to me one more time.

i can play the part so well.

i've got somebody that's new.

it's so hard loving you.

is it right that you and i should fight every night?

i hope you'll come and see me in the movies.

i never needed anybody's help in any way.

i will take her out tonight.

you like me too much.

i will treat her kind.

i'm not half the man i used to be.

i'm not so self-assured.

how can i get through?

you don't realize how much i need you.

just the sight of you makes nighttime bright.

i find i've changed my mind.

love was in your eyes.

you haven't got the nerve.

i don't take what i don't want.

they're gonna put me in the movies.

if she's gone, i can't go on.

please remember how i feel about you.

treat me like you did the night before.

help me if you can.

they're gonna make a big star out of me.

you're gonna lose that girl.

i've been alone, and i have missed things.

haven't i the right to make it up?

she's sweeter than all the girls, and i've met quite a few.

everywhere, people stare.

i'm feeling down.

all i gotta do is act naturally.

it's nice when you believe me.

i need you.

how was i to know you would upset me?

i do appreciate you being around.

help me get my feet back on the ground.

won't you please help me?

i don't wanna say that i've been unhappy with you...

my life has changed in so many ways.

i can see them laugh at me.

every now and then i feel so insecure.

was i so unwise?

i said something wrong.

i won't need rehearsing.

you've got to hide your love away.

i couldn't really stand it.

that's when it hurt me.

i'm telling you this time, you'd better stop.

i just need you like i've never done before.

we said our goodbyes.

now i need a place to hide away.

i bet you i'm gonna be a big star.

i just can't go on anymore.

through thick and thin, she will always be my friend.

when i think of things we did, it makes me wanna cry.

i will follow you and bring you back where you belong.

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thefictionalgirl · 3 months

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Usually I don't let things bother me,

But if I stay awake at nights,

My soul feels incapable of restraining

my intoxicated breaths.

The continuous ringing in my ear,

Never going to listen to you.

My sighs become frequent,

And the torture never leaves my side,

As If I've been a sinner in my past life.

Normally I'm okay with things as they are,

But if I close my eyes

Contradictions trap my mind,

It doesn't let me cry.

My longing for the warmth,

Reminds me the silent spring,

No birds to chirp in my branches.

Specifically I don't understand tears,

But if I start laughing,

After a while, they come running down my cheeks then to my chest- weighing me down,

And I never wondered why laughter echoes emptiness.

Honestly I don't scream,

It's just when I cannot gulp the reason of my shivers,

And maybe when it nauseates me to throw the thorns up.

Does it get better? Never understood why it only worsens.

Particularly, I don't feel sad,

But when I hear the sound of my life,

always differs from the ones around me

making my sense of acknowledgement numb.

The warmth of my palms covers my eyes, but my heart stays cold.

I don't feel envious, totally,

But my lips can't utter the names I engraved in my soul.

The candles in their hands don't seem to melt, whereas every drop of wax imprinted its mark on my skin.

I don't feel heartbroken, actually.

Though, whenever it rains, I find myself dry,

I cannot hide the tears and they behold me,

Have I always been so pathetic?

Their gazes are not as tender as yours, the air around me thickens and forces me to swallow the grief, while their tears merge with the rain, I remain untouched.

Never felt lonely, especially

Then again, covered in a blanket,

I write poems and the moon from my window,

suddenly feels too far away,

I raise my hands up in the air and try to imagine a rope,

One that can take me to the moon.

The bedsheet underneath my body slowly and slowly swallowing me,

My hands in the air, for the night,

Maybe they won't ask for oxygen,

But they don't know they won't be held.

Actually I don't feel scared or frightened,

That's a petty thing, as I never feel insecure and ugly.

Just whenever I close the door,

And my room iterates the unearthly quietness,

My body doesn't seem to catch motion,

Like an omnipotence's mockery,

My mouth doesn't seem to open up,

Everything remains defrosted,

But my consciousness burns.

It creates its own pandemonium.

And then someone shows me the mirror,

Shows me whatever I never want to see.

But I'm not supposed to close my eyes,

I don't have the power.

Wholeheartedly, I never feel grief,

But as I let them go, I cut the pieces off my soul.

And I was never told,

cutting your soul inch by inch would make you bleed a lot more than just cutting your body parts off.

Never shown how they can make you strip your skin, flesh and bones down in the lake of fire.

And you'll never get them back.

I've never been a Phoenix,

I never died, but I haunt me,

I dwell on memories that no longer exist.

I've never been a human,

Though a human lives inside my rib cage,

Though I've stopped singing,

It doesn't seem to cease its humming.

You can destroy my existence,

I can destroy my existence,

What would you do with the one who lives inside?

Would you poison the invisible?

✒mystica

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aquaburst3 · 9 days

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Prior Anon here, yes, correct.

The writing should flow WITH the characters, it shouldn't be breaking itself just because it's a same sex 'couple'(I use that term EXTREMELY loosely for these 2).

Are same sex relationships not all that common in media? Yes.

But that doesn't give an excuse for terrible writing, yeah sure, Blitz and Stolas have a lot of issues that they gotta get over and what not. But the writing has shown....they aren't compatible. Why should Blitz and Stolas be together?

There isn't anything in the show to give any reason other than....they have sad childhoods...or something? But that's hardly any true reason.

Oh and people may say "you just want them to be perfect and not all relationships are good, some are messy" that I keep seeing about and it's just....no.

Blitz and Verosika's relationship wasn't perfect and it was messy and yet...what we have regarding that relationship, is genuinely far more interesting than just....

"Two guys meet at childhood and spend a single evening together, 25 years later one of them offers a sex deal in exchange for the other to do his job. The same guy now wants him as a boyfriend because....he's....sad and lonely and his wife is a big meanie."

Comparatively, on the other side we have...

"Guy and girl meet and hook up, guy has to deal with the fact she's a famous popstar and perhaps feels like he's not worth it to her. She gets a tattoo of his name on her arm, she sees something is wrong and wants to get closer to him, to have him open up to her. He rejects it and ends up breaking her heart, running away with her car and credit cards."

Now which of these two seems more interesting and actually connects with Blitz' past in not only with his relationship to Verosika, but also his relationships to everyone else and a dive into more of his feelings and thoughts?

We've had 2 and a half seasons and it's wild that...3 of the episodes(Truth Seekers w/ hallucination Verosika, Ozzie's and Spring Broken) have given me more of a reason for Blitz to get back with Verosika and why? Because the writing for what we had regarding their relationship was....natural, it flowed with the characters, they have a good back and forth, there's an actual history to explore between them, from what info we have, while Blitz may have been selfish....it also shows that they had a genuine relationship, that they actually went out dating. TS and Ozzie's weren't even a focus on them and yet still gave some great info on them both and their prior relationship.

Zero to do with it being a Hetero ship, it just so happens to be one.

But I'm sure this Season, is just going to wash away all that for them just to push this other ship. Which sorry, but that's not going to work for me and it shouldn't work for anyone else.

Completely, agree with you, anon. There is no problem with adding a messy romance into the show. Some relationships are just like that, even in real life, and it's entertaining to watch. But I think him and Verosika is the messy relationship that makes more sense for him than him with Stolas for all of the reasons the both of us have said. None of that has to do with it being a het ship, it just so happens to be one. I would still think that no matter what genders Blitz, Stolas or Verosika are.

The sad part is, like you said, I have the feeling that show is gonna demonize her in the future just to justify Stolitz. That's exactly what happened with Stella. It's only a matter of time it happens with her. That's bullshit writing that isn't gonna sit right with me. It also truly shows how insecure Vivzie is in with Stolitz. Because if she was truly confident in them as a couple, she wouldn't be demonizing other characters and turning Stolas into a uwu sadboi to justify them as a couple.

#aqua answers #helluva boss critical

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egg-emperor · 1 year

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Can't even lie, I really don't like the headcanon of Eggman being lonely, insecure, completely deeply miserable, etc. Sorry to those who do, I can respect that it's not for me and not bother you in your discussion of it. But it honestly just makes me really sad and uncomfortable to consider. Along with all the other angsty "Eggman is lonely and sad and miserable and insecure/has a tragic past" theories I always see. I just hope it never becomes the case in game canon

The games don't hint towards it currently. Not even in Frontiers like I see some say it does, as being jealous of Maria getting attention that he felt entitled to because of his ego and regarding it with more importance over her terminal illness and tragic death, is just him being the selfish bratty attention wh0re he's always been. Ian Flynn himself even said that he was a "biased narrator" on this. I really don't think it was implying that he was genuinely neglected or lonely at all.

I like that he actually LOVES being who he is and doing what he does. He gleefully acknowledges that he's evil and embraces it. You can see that he always has a blast doing his thing with his big smile and giddiness and the only time he's miserable is when he's defeated, but his determination to keep him trying comes from his passion more than hatred for his enemies, not just for accomplishing his dreams but also for the clear enjoyment he gets in the actual process too.

He's also genuinely self confident and loving too, as we know even when talking privately like the Egg Memos, he praises and regards himself just as highly as ever- it's not an act. That's why he feels the entire world belongs to him with so much certainty! Not everyone who has a big ego is trying to hide insecurities, it's never implied to be the case with Eggman in the games. And I think his self love can be inspiring in a way for that, even though it's to an egotistical degree XD

And I truly believe he likes being alone too, as it's not implied that he dislikes living alone and far away from all other human life- he seems very comfortable. He only lives around his own creations probably because he can make them into exactly who he wants them to be, control them in the ways he wants to control everyone else in the world someday, and they're always only created for the sake of evil and serving him- not for company. He doesn't express a need for that.

Plus I feel it's more accurate that he would see himself too superior for the close presence of others anyway and he wants to keep distance from those unworthy and below him aside from assistants. It actually seems that he is easily agitated within the province of others and has a very short temper around absolutely everyone, enemies, servants, those he teams up with and all and I LOVE that lol. And I can imagine that he prefers to be alone with his own brilliant mind and company.

I truly feel he only wants attention and worship from the whole world from afar, not a few people in close presence. Especially because if he had the latter, he'd surely say it wasn't enough. What he really wants is for the whole world to be under his control and for everyone to give him attention, praise, worship, and serve him in his glorious empire! Everyone and everything is below him for him to control, none are worthy of his close presence and couldn't meet his impossible standards.

He'll be the happiest that he can ever be if his dreams come true permanently but he clearly enjoys the process of wreaking havoc, destroying, manipulating, and scheming and the anticipation of success in itself too. I love how passionate he is about who he is, what he does, and what he wants and his self love and pride. It makes me really happy to see how happy he is and the idea of him secretly being lonely, miserable, and insecure is just very sad to me as a result.

But I see tons of things in the games that seem to point towards the opposite and that's one of the many things I adore about him 💜

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #lonely #headcanons #analysis

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alyjojo · 10 months

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Family Ties 🤍 - July 2023 - Gemini

Overall energy: 8 Cups rev

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem.” Apparently that’s going to keep being the thing in my head when someone is the problem. In this case, it’s you dear. Judgement hopped out of the deck like five times during the preshuffle, and I’m getting that it’s your judgement of your family that’s caused a lot of pain. I gotta say, everything I’ve pulled in this reading so far reads like one long guilt trip. I personally am not a fan of that whole tactic as a means of coercion, it’s manipulative af, and you showing up as Queen of Swords probably agree. That could be something you deal with regularly. But for Spirit to communicate from this angle, it could be showing you as kinda cold and ruthless…unaware of the effect you’ve had on these people, thus the messages of hurt, shock, and heartbreak are what’s needed to be said more than anything. Idk & I don’t judge you 🙏

For 8 Cups to be rev shows it was once upright, and every row so far highlights you having left the family behind. I don’t get why, or who did what, just what it did to everyone. You probably cut them off altogether and stayed away for some time. Whatever you were hoping to find never materialized, you waited around for some time, for nothing, and now feel insecure and…like you’ve got your tail between your legs, about coming back around. Having to be held accountable for this Death. You don’t regret leaving, you regret that it didn’t work out, which probably isn’t what you should be feeling. Spirit, and your family, want genuine remorse. You’ve made these people feel like you don’t care about them. I don’t get that exactly, but I do get a “holier than thou”, know it all sort of attitude, and an “out of sight, out of mind” personality. You don’t feel remorse because they’re not directly in front of you, or haven’t been. Emotional detachment the a gift & a curse of all of the air signs.

Mother: 5 Cups & Queen of Swords

5 Cups is heavily focused on all that’s been lost, not paying attention to what’s still here, 2 Cups with your father. But she’s lost you, and it’s absolutely devastated her, 10 Swords. Dad has similar feelings, and the love between them is genuine. Mom is still trying to heal from your sudden absence, maybe also some words that were said before this occurred. She only wants you to come around again, at least to talk with her, being disconnected from you is one of the saddest and most painful things she’s ever experienced.

Father: 2 Cups, The Hermit, 4 Wands

Dad is probably more of a practical kind of person, he seems like a “stereotypical” man, when things are emotionally rough, he puts more effort into his work and keeping busy. He’s happy with Mom and the home they’ve created together, but he feels lonely, a lot. He’s probably the strong & silent type, but just because he doesn’t say things out loud doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting over them. He also may have dealt with a very serious work injury, accident, or event and has been home bound because of that. If you know that, and haven’t come around to check up on him, it makes him sad. He also has 5 Cups, with The Tower. It’s hard for him to express these emotions, but with your Mom it seems much easier for her, and he just mirrors everything she feels. He misses you.

Siblings: Knight of Cups & 7 Wands

I get one, and they’re a really sweet kind of person, the kind to give you the shirt off of their back if you needed it. They’re mad at you, probably because they’re sad too, but it comes out as mad. They’re also really smart, logical, balanced, and fair. They think what you did is bullshit, reckless, impulsive, and immature. It’s stupid you don’t talk to them at least - in their mind. They’ve got 7 Wands & Justice, they know they’re right 💯 They are someone willing to sacrifice for those they love, and are very kind normally. They don’t know why they can do it and you can’t. They could be Libra or have a dominant placement there. It will probably take some effort to heal this connection because their sadness & love are masked with anger & defensiveness. These are probably the hardest ones to overcome. Are they upset? Absolutely. Do they love you? Yes, that’s why they’re mad at you.

Grandparents: The Fool & The Hierophant

Either they got married very young, fast, and impulsively, and have just stood the test of time…or that’s why you ran off. Impulsively got married? Probably didn’t invite anyone, no one was involved, never spoke to anyone again? They’re also angry & disappointed. Specifically about the wedding if there was one, they would’ve liked to celebrate you, meet your person, etc. They’re old fashioned, you should’ve gotten gifts, had a party, family traditions and celebrations mean a lot to them. If you didn’t get married in a church, or have religious elements involved, that could be an issue with them too. I heard “Jewish”, that may or may not apply, moreso a specific custom or religious ceremony perhaps that’s dear to their heart. And maybe yours too, this does feel impulsive. Whether you did or you didn’t actually get married, then you probably ran off with some person, and you didn’t include them, call or come over. Their point of view is similar to everyone else’s. One day you’re here all of the time. The next, who and where is Gemini? They’re gone. Do they care?

Spiritual Ancestors: 4 Pentacles & 8 Swords

This message has a spicy 🥵 bite, idk if you have an ancestor that is sharp as a tack in their speech, cutting right to the point. I kind of get that they’re like you. Or whoever you were always told you were most like I suppose. You hold on tightly to your position on things, you’re stubborn, narrow-minded and full of bologna, is what I’m getting. You keep yourself trapped in a situation of non communication because of…nothing. You pretend to be blindfolded but really you tied it yourself, self sabotage. People really want you to open up and communicate. What Gemini doesn’t?? You could have some dominant Taurus or fixed placements with all of this stubbornness I’m getting on your side.

6 Pentacles is equal give and take, they want an exchange from you in the form of a conversation! I’m getting clear message of you pretending to act confused, avoidant, like you don’t know, yada yada excuses, and the message here is showing if you can be Queen of Swords, truth, communication, chatty and fair with most people, then you can also “cut the crap” and have conversations & connections your family. Whew 😅 damn. Even Spirit is defensive with you Gem. Even if your point of view is I married xyz in this way because of abc, sure but say that. I’m strongly getting no one here did anything wrong, it’s just differing perspectives, and they’re all looking at you like whaaat gives? I’m sorry Gem, this message is dragging your butt across sharp rocks fr, probably to prepare you for what to expect, because you’re being told to head back towards your family. They can’t know your side until you tell them, and you may want to avoid it, but you’ve got a whole group of people that just love you more than they judge you & they just want you around 💙 Overwhelm in the Oracle makes me laugh. No shit right? I’m overwhelmed just doing this reading 😆 Good luck!

Oracle:

Overwhelm

The hard work we love can leave us feeling burdened, drained, and burnt out, among others problems.

Reflection

Time to focus, balance, reflect, and guide yourself past stumbling blocks to take the right actions.

#Gemini tarot reading #family ties #July 2023 #Gemini #tarot #free tarot #generational trauma #healing family relationships

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parasocial12 · 3 months

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Clubs, my Past, and more Whining

[transcribed from memo book as is] McD is expensive! I can't really think of what to write for today's entry. I had to speak to my professor last class. Very scary! No friends made in any course. Sad! They say to join clubs to make friends, but the Anime Club is the only club that is truly applicable to me. Unfortunately, those are not my People. They are simply too cringe? I don't mean that in the sense that I don't understand wh the jokes, but they're simply all too unfunny. Their tastes are too Reddit. I'm in the most vexing position. I'm too strange for normal people, but too normal for the weirdos. I suppose in one-on-one interactions I fare decently, but in a club setting I feel locked out. Band kids is what they feel like! The type to think Rick and Morty an is the funniest show ever. In a way, I am also too radical for them too. My years spent on 4chan as a Youth have a left permanent mark on my psyche. Not on /pol/ or /b/ or any of those places where the Election Tourists. /r9k/ was such a nice place to vent to older anons. Sure, I was underage ban, but ain't nobody knew that. I miss that comradery, as toxic as they were. The Youths of today are so lucky to have Tiktok. I admire TT as a space where the Youth can experiment and be themselves while using the algorithm to find communities to connect with. I missed out on that train. That's not to say I don't use TT or have my own spaces, but TT as a youth must be a hell of a fun place. Oh well! I had the experience of being underage on anonymous imageboards at least (wow!). Let me finish my fries now ~~~~ On the walk back to the SC, I passed by some sort of Christian group- a club? I know not, for I avoided eye contact- and as I did, they spoke to a duo of girls walking next to me. The usual invitation for a Bible study. They kept walking of course, and while doing so joked about how one of them was the target lol. Very funny duo- almost chuckled before remembering that I was merely walking alongside them, not with them! On that walk as well, I passed many cute girls. Idk what it is about college, but so many ppl are beautiful. It doesn't help that they are all serving- I didn't know uni was a fashion show! Now, I sit at the usual spot of my writing and jot down in my little memo book. Makes for such unworthy penmanship. Ahhhh! It's so frustrating seeing all the cute gals. I'm not terrible looking monster w/ a horrible personality, but I can't muster up the nerve to act upon my romantic delusions! How I wish I was less of an overthinker! Oh well. Since I am too passive to pursue, I must accept the fact that I will end up alone. Tragic! The best and easiest years to make friends and lovers and I cannot. What a failure I am! It is concerning that the majority of the ppl I have cordial relations with are women- and of them all are either taken or lesbian. I've nothing really against it. I'm proud that so many ppl can confide in me. Yet, I feel lonely. I realize I'm too emotionally immature to date, but I've fallen so far behind the curve that I feel that I will never catch up. I'm just a fool. Dreaming the best years of my Life away! I don't blame anyone, really. If I was a woman, I wouldn't date myself either. I'm a nice guy, but that's such a low bar- the bare minimum. What do I have to offer? I'm not rich. I'm mildly funny at times, but no comedian. I'm not some attractive guy. I don't like going out. I'm insecure. My Future is bleak. I have Nothing! Oh well. Always an oh well. I apologize to my future self for having wasted our Time, and I damn my younger self for the same Crime. [end of entry] Author's Note: It appears that no matter what, I will always end up writing about being lonely and cute girls I see. What a creep! I'm not an incel or nothing, but damn if my writings don't make me seem like I am

#diary #diary entry #college #college student #university #social anxiety #vent #pathetic loser #losercore #loser

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sjhanny2000 · 3 years

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The Danger of Flamboyant Love (Part 2)

~~~

Hi everyone! Here's part 2 of the series; I'm still working on part 3 so it may be a little while until it comes out, just FYI! Also, thank you for all the love!

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for further parts of the series!

Warning(s): angst, violence, emotional manipulation, sexual assault, rape/non-con

~~~

“-and Koji ended up sleeping on the engawa all night long for saying that!”

The sun was waning as you sat across from Tatsuya, a cup of warm tea nestled in your palm. You had been talking for what felt like hours now, having gone through nearly two entire pots of tea as the pair of you caught up on each other’s lives over the past two years. Tatsuya had moved from your shared home village in hopes of striking out on his own as a blacksmith and he was doing well, enough that he was gaining recognition from others in his line of work slowly but surely. Explaining your marriage dynamics and duties was a topic Tatsuya seemed most interested in to your surprise and mild discomfort, asking how Tengen and the girls treated you and similar topics.

“It must be hard, with them being away so much,” Tatsuya quietly commented, cup sitting at his lips. “Don’t you get lonely?”

Giving your friend a smile, a ping of sadness filled your heart. “I do, but I know that their occupation as Demon Slayers is a matter of life or death. If saving innocent lives means I have to be alone more often than not, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Silence filled the space between the two of you and you knew that Tatsuya hadn’t been accepting of your answer.

“You deserve better.”

Many believed you deserved better, including your siblings who you were consistently corresponding with following your departure from your home. Tsuna, your eldest sister, was the most vocal (always had been since you could remember) and often threatened to harm your spouses, no matter their station or ability. One particular letter had been quite scalding towards your spouses, accusing them of mistreatment and neglect to which you swiftly refuted.

‘You cannot excuse the truth, little sister, for we both know that is honest madness,’ Tsuna wrote, her handwriting shifting to a messier font, attesting to her displeasure. ‘Your spouses simply akin you to that of a servant, one to keep the home ready and fresh meals available. How you can eagerly accept such a role is beyond my complete understanding.’

Was she being akin to a servant? Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma were always eager to help out around the house when they were home, and your husband and wives were to the level of smothering whenever all of you were in the same vicinity. Tengen alone was supportive and assisted you in gaining a confidence you had never cultivated before in your time spent with your family, yet he seemed more interested in his duties and your wives than yourself at moments. Had you been simply lying to yourself to cope with the fact that they were gone more than were present? What if they were gone more due to your presence? Perhaps all the love and affection they gave was to simply placate you as they happily lived their lives apart from you, traveling abroad with one another. Your insecurities scratched away at your mindscape, deepening the gouges that had been developing since the moment your father gave you away like a piece of livestock. You never were given the opportunity to say goodbye to your family, to hug your sisters one more time, to play shogi with your brothers. Tengen had been firm on keeping to his schedule at the time and was unrelenting in his insistence on getting you home to the estate so he could continue on with his responsibilities. Coming to know he had three wives, what a demeaning feeling filled your soul. You were with a man you didn’t know, in a place far from the only home you’d known, and suddenly you weren’t his only wife, no, you were his third! While you came to love Makio, Hinatsuru, and Suma with all your being, and Tengen as well, you were almost just a mistress it seemed. Not a wife, not a kunoichi nor a Demon Slayer, just an individual tending to the various needs or requests of her master and mistress-.

“What troubles you, Y/N-chan?”

Tatsuya’s voice ripped you away from your heavy thoughts, your (e/c) eyes meeting his own with red cheeks. “Oh! It’s nothing, just a simple thought, is all!”

“You don’t have to lie to me, onee-chan,” Tatsuya gently took hold of your hand in his large one with loving sincerity. “It’s okay.”

Your gaze drifted upwards to gaze into his pools of icy blue, comfort and worry swirling about within his chilling irises as your heart constricted painfully within your chest. Guilt ate away at your heart, the loneliness of being a housewife and away from all familiarity finally hitting its peak as you looked away.

Small droplets softly stained the fabric of your kimono as tears began to fall from your teary eyes, shame, fear, and sadness swallowing your being in one gulp. “I-I am simply afraid that at times, I’m the reason why they are gone so much. Father practically thrust myself on Tengen, Tatsu-chan, there was no way he could have said no without being extremely rude and sullying my honor! I sometimes feel as if I’m intruding on their lives and that perhaps onee-chan is right, that I am simply a servant or a mistress. I love them, I do, but I know they don’t feel the same way and it hurts!”

“If that is the case, they’re a bunch of fools, Y/N-chan,” In an instant, your eyes returned to him, only to see anger and frustration present on his once playful face. “You didn’t ask to be married off, especially to people like them! They may give you love and attention from time to time, but if you got sick, would they put aside their mission and come nurse you back to health? If you happened to become pregnant, do you want your child to experience what you are dealing with right now? Loneliness? Abandonment? Inadequacy? Is that what you want for the rest of your life?!”

Just the mere thought of your child growing up in such a situation had your stomach churning. There could only be so many explanations and excuses given until the child would either begin to feel unloved or filled with resentment. It is what happened to you with your father; the man, so focused on his duties and fattening his pockets, left you and your siblings to be raised by nannies following the death of your mother. He only interacted with you all when it best suited him, particularly through marriage contracts and apprenticeships with high government officials. When your siblings began to leave for apprenticeships or to be with your spouses to make families of their own, you only grew lonelier and the large house even emptier than before. You were completely alone by the age of twelve and spent four years walking the halls with only your shadow as your companion, your father too busy to interact with the final child he had yet to give away. No child deserved such a lonely life, even if you were to be present.

Tatsuya took hold of your hand, the other cupping your cheek lovingly. “You deserve to be loved, Y/N-chan, much better than you are now. The way I could love you, you would never feel alone and like someone’s mistress! I would keep you safe and secure and most importantly appreciated! I can already see your worth outside of being a simple housewife, your heart is kind and your mind sharp as a sword! Someone like you deserves to be spoiled and loved every waking moment, not abandoned and cast aside by some work obsessed demon killers!”

Fear began to creep in your heart as you watched an unnerving emotion fill your childhood friend’s eyes, instability present in both his speech and mannerisms. While two years had passed since your last meeting with Tatsuya, you were honestly surprised to see his behavior and how he spoke. He never was this touchy, preferring to be more touching with his actions than his words, and while he may not agree with the terms of your situation, he would do his best to be understanding and supportive rather than demeaning. Something was wrong, your gut was churning in warning, a feeling Hinatsuru always reminded you to never ignore.

The kunoichi’s rough hands gently cradled your cheeks as her stern eyes peered into yours without mercy. “There will be times in danger that our bodies inform us of dangers we can’t foresee, Y/N. Listen to those warnings, they might one day save your life.”

You cocked your head in confusion, frown forming on your lips. “How would my body know I’m in danger?”

“We as humans have ways of self-preservation, some are quite flamboyant,” Tengen shifted in his spot beside your wife, his left index prodding at your torso’s core with honest seriousness coating his features. “If you ever feel uncertain or on edge here, never ignore it. Our bodies can sometimes sense danger before we can, no matter how flamboyant or godlike we make ourselves.”

You needed to get away from here. The feeling was fading away, it was only growing with every moment you sat there.

Tengen glared from his spot beside Makio, pool of miso soup in hand. “If you ever find yourself in trouble and we aren’t there to protect you, I expect you to do everything possible to make sure you survive. You’re precious to us, so don’t die, alright? Dying isn’t flamboyant.”

His words echoed loudly in your mind, desperate determination coating your veins. You had to get away, your spouses needed you.

Stay calm, say you need to leave and get home. Don’t look back.

“What you say may be true, Tatsuya-chan,” guilt vigorously ate at your person as you pulled away, firm and tearful. “But I can’t abandon my wives and Tengen simply because I’m unhappy with certain aspects of our marriage. My needs are miniscule compared to those of the innocent lives at stake. They are my life now.”

A frustrated groan was emitted from deep within the man’s chest. “How can you accept that you’ll never be someone important to them, that you’ll always come second to this stupid mission of theirs?! Can you accept that they’ll never love you like they love each other?!”

“I-I do not know if I ever will, but I do know that I cannot blatantly abandon my spouses as everyone keeps suggesting just because of my petty complaints,” you wiped away your tears, moving to stand to your feet.

You calmly took hold of your basket, taking note that you had all of your belongings, “I’m sorry Tatsu-chan, but I need to be leaving before it becomes dark-.”

“You think I’m just going to let someone as beautiful as you slip through my fingers without a fight?”

Turning around to confront the man, you found something hard and unrelenting striking your temple, a cry of pain escaping your lips as you crumbled to the ground. You moaned in pain as something warm and sticky ran down the expanse of your face, the world spinning violently around you from your spot on the ground.

“I’m sorry, Y/N-chan, but you’re not going to be returning to your lovely husband and wives.” Tatsuya's blurred person crouched beside you, his voice sickly sweet and condescending. “That won’t be possible after I feast on your magnificent body.”

His hand traveled playfully up your clothed leg, the sound of him licking his lips filling your ears. “You’re going to be such a beautiful meal, so sweet and soft. I wonder what your blood tastes like.”

Fingers swiped across your forehead, roughly swiping away the sticky substance coating your skin, and you shuddered at hearing his delight moans. “Just as I suspected! Sweet as honey!”

Your vision finally settled in that moment, the fogginess fading away, and a scream of utter horror erupted from the darkest depths of your chest at seeing what your childhood friend had become.

There, a mere feet away from your position, was Tatsuya but several parts of his body were now mutilated and sickening. Ice blue eyes were now a sickly shade of green and slitted, skin covered in magenta and black vine like veins, his teeth now sharp and glinting dangerously in the softening light of the fading sun. Spines protruded sickenly from his spine, hands no longer human but like claws, and Kami why were his legs bowing like that?!

“I’m sorry to have not been forward with you, Y/N-chan, but I didn’t want to scream you off before I could trap you,” Tatsuya’s voice sounded as if he had been eating sharp objects, scarred and throaty.

Trying to scramble backwards, to get away from the monster your friend had become, you moved to stand and were met with a clawed hand wrapping itself mercilessly around your throat.

Your hands instantly shot upwards, scratching and clawing to break free of the hold as you struggled to breathe, Tatsuya chuckling in humored delight. “Oh look how you struggle! How adorably pointless!”

A clawed hand snuck up your stomach, coming to grope your right breast as you whimpered in terror. It traveled upwards from where it was groping you to rest on your face, running a claw against your aching right cheek.

“Your lovely spouses have no idea you’re here in the village, oh what drama!” Tears began to fall down your cheeks as your chest screamed in protest at the lack of oxygen entering your lungs, limbs growing heavy. “Did you know they were here, trying to stop little old me? No? Oh what fun!”

What, they were here-?

His grip tightened, darkness eating away at your field of vision without abandon as he pulled your limb form close, mouth stationed beside your right ear. “I think they’ll be positively heartbroken when they see that you were one of my little snacks, no? Too late to save you and the countless others I’ve feasted on! They’ll be so distraught they’ll be mine for the taking!”

NO!

Your hand flew forward, aiming to strike the monster in the face, but he merely caught it with ease as he pulled away from your face, tsking in disapproval, “Now, now Y/N-chan, there’s no need for such behavior! You’re going to be a part of something beautiful here! The death of the Sound Hashira and his wives! What a thrilling tale it will be!”

He gave you a sickly grin, pure evil in his neon irises. “But for now, we must wait until dusk for the main event and I want some time to prepare get everything ready. Maybe get some extra love from this gorgeous body of yours.”

Your chest ached and your mind was full of fog, leaning heavily towards suffocation as you struggled to get some form of oxygen into your body. Limp both mentally and physically, exhaustion ate away at your resolve, body disconnected from your mind as Tatsuya held you up mid-air.

“Goodnight, my sweet Y/N-chan.”

As if a bag was placed over your head, exhaustion enveloped your mind and turned the world around you pitch black, unconsciousness overtaking you.

~~~

Taglist:

@mindlesschicca @milkyanon

#demon slayer uzui #demon slayer #uzui tengen x reader #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #tengen uzui #tengen x reader #kimetsu tengen #uzui x reader #reader insert #kny fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction

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isabunbun · 2 years

Text

Mean (Bucky Barnes Imagine)

Summary: Bucky just moved in to the Avengers compound, feeling like an outcast, Y/n doesn't help as she's kind of a bully.

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: a bit of angst, bully!reader(just at the start), fluff < 3

| HI! This is my first take on writing a fanfic, so please excuse any errors of mine in advance. Thank You so much for reading! ❥

second part here

☆☆☆

"How's moving in going for you so far?" Steve asking Bucky as they both sat for a coffee in the kitchen.

Bucky had just moved in 3 days ago in the Avengers compound and unfortunately, not everyone liked the idea.

The only person enjoying his stay throughout all this was Steve and from time to time, Sam.

Bucky shrugged at his question. "I don't know.. Not so well, honestly speaking."

"I'm sorry, Buck. They'll come around, I'm sure they will. Give them time, as they are to you." Steve saying as he pats Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky gave Steve a small smile as their coffee talk ended with Steve training for an upcoming mission and Bucky going back to his room.

Bucky flopped on his bed as he stared at the ceiling. He feels bothered. He feels like an outcast. He knew the reason for them not liking him. He understands. Completely. But of course, he can't help but feel hurt.

Even with Steve and Sam, he somewhat felt lonely.

He then remembered you. His sadness piling up.

See, Bucky had met you yesterday. You were part of The Avengers and was close to everyone. Tony treats you like his own daughter. He rescued you from your abusive parents and eventually trained you alongside with Peter. He really was like a father to you.

And that's probably why you disliked Bucky.

When you met Bucky yesterday, he was getting water from the fridge. And you just came back from a mission with Nat.

Bucky was nervous to meet you, as Steve practically bragged about you. Everyone did. Telling him that you were a sweet, funny and soft hearted person. Except for the part where you knew what Bucky did to Tony. That's what made him nervous. Since you irrationally disliked Bucky even before meeting him for hurting Tony. Despite knowing it was The Winter Soldier and not him doing the bad things in the past, you still feel upset about how he still hurt Tony at the end along with Steve and never made amends with him. And now he's living in the same roof with you guys.

Bucky thought you were great based on what he has heard. Even though he hasn't met or seen what you looked like. So he looked forward to being friends with you. Until the day came.

Bucky was drinking water, standing near the open fridge when he got shoved a bit.

"Move it, Frodo."

Bucky stumbles back a little, faintly apologising.

When he saw you, he was stunned. You were pretty. The prettiest, even, that he had ever seen. Y/n was wearing a black body suit (somewhat like The Black Widow's) and her soft, long, layered hair was down.

Y/n closed the fridge throwing the bottle away after being thirsty from the mission with Nat. Not sparing Bucky any glance, she washed her hands and wet her face.

You had just came back from a mission with Nat and was exhausted, so seeing him after hearing the bad news of him moving in was the last straw.

"You uh.. you watch Lord of The Rings too? Do you like Frodo?.." Bucky stuttered fiddling his water bottle, wanting to start a conversation with her.

Y/n stood straight with one last splash on her face, looking Bucky dead in the eyes while harshly ripping a tissue paper on the side.

"What did you say?"

Bucky felt nervous than he had ever been.

"I uh.. You called me Frodo.. from Lord of The Rings? Cause of my hair? Right? He's kinda cool.."

Y/n took a step towards Bucky

"I meant looking at you makes me want to gauge my eyes out."

Bucky gulped and looked down. Feeling embarassed. His insecurities just felt attacked. He was wearing a plain grey shirt along with sweatpants. His belly bulging out a little. With no missions yet to attend to, considering wanting to heal mentally from HYDRA first, he only realised late when he saw his belly growing that he had lost his track on weight.

He'd been busy with therapy and experiments with the help of Bruce and some people back in Wakanda that he forgot about working out and training.

His thoughts were snapped back when Sam's voice came in.

"Y/n!! You're back!!" Sam happily ran to Y/n and gave her a hug which she happily gave back.

So you really were Y/n. It's you. Bucky had thought to himself.

"Hi Samie" Y/n smiled softly breaking the hug.

"I see you've met Bucky!" Sam says putting an arm around Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky nervously scratched the back of his neck while smiling nervously as Y/n just gave a hum.

"Hmm. I uh, I'll go ahead now. It's been a long day." Y/n says more specifically to Sam while grabbing her gear bag.

"Yeah, yeah, of course! you go ahead." Sam said giving Y/n a hug.

"Thanks, Samie. Catch you later, yeah?"

"You bet, sweetheart" Sam smiles at Y/n as she disappears from the room.

Sam turns his attention back to Bucky, frowning.

"You good?" Bucky sighs shaking his head

"I don't think she's very fond of me."

"Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear that." Sam patting Bucky on the shoulder showing empathy imagining how their first meet up went.

☆☆☆

"You called him what?" Nat asking Y/n whilst catching her breath from laughing.

"Yeah i know, the look on his face made me feel bad for a sec" Y/n putting her shirt on giggling

"Are you ever planning on being nice to him, love?" Wanda giggles back asking Y/n, while backhugging her

"I don't know. He never made amends with Tony, what he did still upsets me."

"I know honey, I'm sorry for what he did." Wanda hugs Y/n tighter

"Your feelings are valid," Nat added

"Now come on! Let's all get some rest!"

The three of them slept together in Y/n's room, a normal thing for the three of them to have sleepovers.

Bucky on the other hand just couldn't stop thinking about you and your first interaction. He wishes it turned out better.

Maybe he can make it better.

He wants to.

He plans to gain your trust and be friends.

Will he?

-end-

This is the end for the first part!! Since i don't know if this story even goes well out here. I really hope so. If it does, I'll make a part 2! Which will also be the last part. I don't like making long stories and make chapters (〃･ิ‿･ิ)ゞ please tell me if you liked it, so i can make the next part. Thank You for reading! please share me your thoughts! Anything!

Tags!

@my-river-lilly ♡

@maluisamarvelfan123 ♡

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #chubby bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #sebastian stan x reader #chubby!bucky #sfw blog #james buchanan barnes #sebastian stan #bucky x you

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irrealisms · 3 years

Text

c!Tommy is annoying (and that’s important)

I have... a lot of feelings about c!Tommy in s2, from the start of the exile conflict through the Green Festival. I also think the fandom tends to mischaracterize him--I know I’m guilty of this, and as a c!Tommy lover I’ll be mostly addressing a thing that I and other people who love his character don’t focus on as much--which makes me sad because the aspects of his character that tend to get glossed over are also some of the ones that are most personally meaningful to me. (rest of the post is /rp, because “c!” gets annoying to type.)

Specifically: Tommy is loud. He’s abrasive. He’s annoying. He threatens, he griefs, he steals. He lies, blatantly, all the time. He tends to be self-centered (despite being deeply selfless). He lashes out at people who are trying to help him.

He is, in short, a bad victim.

And this is precisely what makes him vulnerable.

Some people on the server were opposed to and sad about exile, sure. But a lot of people? Thought it was funny, that it was natural consequences, that it was deserved. Sapnap came and laughed, Technoblade came and laughed, Lazar came and laughed, Quackity came and laughed. Now, we don’t know what would have happened if Ranboo was the one being isolated and abused; maybe it would be the same. But I don’t think it would have been. A lot of characters have issues with Tommy or simply find him unpleasant to be around, and I would imagine that a significant number of them were probably, on some level, kind of relieved that he wasn’t their problem anymore. To be clear, I don’t entirely blame them for this! Tommy is... a lot, and they (mostly) didn’t know the full extent of what Tommy was going through. Even those of them that tried to visit with good intentions often got their gifts burned and called “pity gifts”, got insulted or yelled at by Tommy, etc.--or in Jack Manifold’s case, actually killed! The first time I watched the leadup to exile arc, I found Tommy difficult to sympathize with at first--he lied to L’Manberg before his trial; he refused to cooperate with probation while he was on it, even though Tubbo was pushing for it as an alternative to exile; at the beginning of exile, he would sometimes log on to visitors, drive them away, and then complain that he was lonely. As much as it’s obviously ultimately Dream’s fault, it’s easy to look at Tommy and not feel much sympathy for his position or feel that it’s partially self-made. It’s easy for outsiders to look at a Tommy who isn’t stealing, isn’t griefing, who is comparatively quieter, who isn’t their problem anymore, and be relieved rather than concerned.

Exile arc makes it obvious that they’re wrong.

(Incidentally, I have a lot of sympathy for what Dream’s going through in the prison.)

And not only are they wrong, but exile makes the consequences of this painfully, horrifyingly clear: the abuse gets worse, Tommy gets more and more depressed, and at the climax of it all Tommy attempts suicide.

(Although notably to me, he’s not the stereotypical victim during exile arc, either--he doesn’t cry on stream, he’s still trying to make dumb jokes, he’s not strategic, he refuses to listen to people, he switches wildly between fight and fawn responses without much correlation with who he’s talking to or how he’s being treated.)

Tommy’s recovery arc, after all of this, starts with him stealing valuables from Technoblade, building a secret basement underneath the existing basements, and then loudly asserting that it’s his house and Technoblade is trespassing.

I could talk about how these things are rooted in trauma. I could talk about how his constant eating of golden apples comes after a period of food insecurity, appetite/disordered eating problems, and physical abuse. I could talk about how he’s regained some of his energy after a period of depression but has nowhere to let it out in a small basement room. I could talk about how he repeatedly annoys Technoblade--quite probably the best PVPer on the server--perhaps in part as a test of how far he can go before he gets abused again, and in part as a sign that he feels safe enough to be annoying without being abused.

But that’s... not the heart of it, at least not to me. The heart of it is that before exile, Tommy would have stolen from Technoblade without a second’s thought, and during exile, Tommy didn’t steal from Technoblade because “Dream wouldn’t like it”, and afterwards, he steals from Technoblade again.

Sure, he’s being annoying. But more importantly, he’s being himself again. Before exile, I might have rolled my eyes, because Technoblade worked for those potions and golden apples and armor and so on, and Tommy’s totally ruining his chest organization system. After exile? I cheered. Tommy’s being Tommy again. And, yeah, that means that he’s being annoying, he’s stealing, he’s ruining dramatic moments. So what? None of that stuff is actually all that bad, in the grand scheme of things. He’s not depressed, he’s not suicidal, he’s not being abused. He’s a teenager and he’s having fun. Technoblade will tease him for it, but he won’t hit Tommy, won’t take his stuff, won’t threaten him, won’t isolate him any further. That’s what a proportionate response to finding Tommy annoying looks like: teasing.

I’d also like to address one more thing, which... I couldn’t figure out how to fit in the rest of the post, but it felt incomplete without it. Right before the meeting that ends with Tommy pulling out Spirit, Tommy asks everyone what the plan is, and is basically told that the plan is for him to be quiet. He says “you guys, please, for the love of God, you know I’ve watched for this long, I’m not going to be quiet.” He reiterates this throughout the conversation: he can try to be quiet, but it is not, ultimately, as easy for him as “be quiet”. This is also the source of Tubbo’s anger at him-- Tommy can’t do “one simple thing” for him. I’m not claiming Tommy is neurodivergent, but... as a neurodivergent person, Tommy repeatedly saying “I cannot do this thing that is simple for you, I can’t, empirically every time we have tried this in the past it has failed, if you make more plans based on that then they will also fail, have you met me” and having this seen as evidence of me not caring or trying... resonated with me. Which isn’t to say it’s not a flaw--almost all character traits can be flaws in the right (or, well, wrong) situations--but it does show that Tommy has some level of self-awareness about his flaws, which is something I appreciate about him, and it frustrates me when that goes unacknowledged. Tommy knows he’s annoying. He jokes about it. But he can’t actually... turn it off. Whether or not he should (and I would argue that he shouldn’t have to) isn’t even in question: he can’t. This is who he is. The only time we see him less loud and more capable of being obedient is exile, when he’s severely depressed and being abused. That’s fascinating to me, as a character trait!

In my experience, there’s a specific archetype of abuse victims in fiction that is... overrepresented. I can’t quite find the words to talk about it in a way that doesn’t technically include Tommy, but... the ways Tommy is important to me is the ways that (a) he doesn’t fit that archetype (b) not fitting that archetype makes him more vulnerable to abuse. He’s not always easy for other characters to talk to or sympathize with... which makes him uniquely easy to isolate and victim blame. That’s important. I think I tend to downplay Tommy’s annoying tendencies because I want to emphasize his sympathetic traits, and that’s fine, but it’s important to me that... Tommy’s a victim, and he’s annoying. Annoying people can be victims just as much as shy rule-followers can. Not only that: Tommy’s a victim in part because he’s annoying. Him being annoying is a risk factor for abuse, not an excuse for it.

#mcyt #dsmp #dsmp analysis #tommyinnit #dream smp #tommy #meta #any british ants in the chat?#therapists dni #exile arc //#abuse //

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lovelybarnes · 3 years

Text

stood up- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, anderson x reader (?) warnings: angst, getting stood up, language, unrequited feelings about: prompts (DA29) “i got stood up.” + (DF30) “i think you’re my soulmate.” +(DF41) “are you going to cry? please don’t cry. a/n: i love to hurt but dw it’s a happy ending, i actually like this fjsk, a the time i finished this, i just posted another imagine, so i can’t wait for you guys to read this one in a couple days

every passing second makes you hyperaware of all the sympathetic stares that are currently directed at you. the feeling of pity is enveloping you whole, wrapping you in a thin layer of shame that you think must be related to the careful makeup you caked on your face for this date. your recently manicured nails scratch at the tablecloth, trying to avoid your new expensive dress, deep midnight color clinging to your nervous self. teeth stress your dark wine bottom lip, anxious eyes darting across the restaurant.

with each face that enters the place, none of them being his, the presumption that he isn’t coming solidifies. with it, comes the embarrassment. you can feel the warnings of tears, already threatening to ruin the mascara you had applied so carefully, not bothering to choose the waterproof one because why would you be crying on your date?

you suppose it’s your own fault- how dare you attempt to get over bucky? how dare you trust the words of a shield agent? you pick at your nails, gathering up the courage to stand up and leave. your waitress, however, beats you to it, a faux apologetic look on her face. “oh, so you’ve been here for, like, half an hour and it seems no one is coming, and we kind of need the table, so…”

you hold back an uncomfortable cringe, nodding stiffly as you stand. “right. i’m sorry. i don’t need to… pay for the water, right?” you ask dumbly, ducking your head when she shakes her head condescendingly.

pushing the door open, you step into the brisk air of the night, clouded over with an uneasy disappointment that you’re sure is because of you. you stand for a second to look at the stars, realizing how pretty of a night this would be if you weren’t so damn frustrated. the upset hasn’t passed yet, although the beginnings of anger are peeking up in your stomach.

while you stare up at the moon, the universe decides your getting stood up wasn’t enough, choosing to gift you with cold droplets of water that make your mascara run. it’s unbelievable, you nearly scoff tearily.

you walk to your car then, the moonlight that should have been romantic when you walked out of the restaurant now only making you feel lonely. you don’t let the tears come yet, having enough pride to not let the smitten couples appreciating the romance of the rain see you cry, deciding to put that off until you’re in the quietness of your room.

you drive in the sound of the pattering rain, concentrated on keeping your breathing even so as to push back the tears, not wanting to have an accident on the way back home because your vision was clouded over with sadness.

the relief you feel when you arrive at the compound is immeasurable; the knowledge that all you have to do is walk quietly to your room, and you can release the pent up emotions that eat you whole is unbelievably satisfying. the horrible itching feeling that comes with the tears arrives again when you notice your reflection in the impressively clean windows of the stark compound. through the stains of your ruined makeup, you can see the remnants of how dolled up you were, how much time was spent with the intricate details that made you smile when you looked at yourself in the mirror.

you swallow back the painful lump in your throat, opening the doors and sniffling at the dimly-lit room. your heels click tiredly on the floor, precious bracelet lightly jangling when you move. you can’t find it in yourself to care when you realize you’re dragging water inside, resigning to letting stark lecture you in the morning.

as you stand in the elevator, waiting for it to reach your floor, the emotions you’ve pushed so far down decide to spring back up in the form of an overwhelming dejected exhaustion that makes you physically slump. you lean against the cool of the metal railing, shutting your eyes hard to avoid looking at yourself. you only pry your eyes open when you hear the soft ding of the elevator, surprised and once again embarrassed to see bucky standing between the open doors.

“y/n?” he asks quietly. his demeanor immediately changes when he takes you in, body softer in the way it always is when you’re with him. his reaction makes you fall deeper, which reminds you exactly why you were going on your failed date. you straighten, clearing your throat, “um- i have to get to my room.”

your voice is thin, heightening his worries and stopping you with a gentle hand to your arm before you step off the elevator, “what’s wrong? what happened? are you okay?” he asks, and you nod blindly at all of his questions, realizing that the longer you stay with him- with his warm hand that you can’t help but lean into pressed against your cold arm- the more you really want to cry and scream because it’s not fair that he’s been given to you, yet you can’t have him, even if he has you.

“i’m fine,” you lie obviously, forcing your eyes again from his. “y/n, what happened? you’re clearly not fine,” bucky pushes, the hand on your arm beginning to rub stressed circles into your skin. you give up then, looking back at him. “i got stood up,” you say finally, words cracked. you shake your head, “and i just spent so much time on everything and-”

“that’s stupid. who would stand you up?” bucky interrupts, eyes genuinely confused while you scoff. “apparently anderson from security,” you respond bitterly, looking away. “he’s stupid, y/n. he has to be to not go to a date with you.”

you exhale frustratedly, “maybe not. maybe there’s something wrong with me and i’m the stupid one for even thinking someone would want to go out with me,” you countered. “hey, no, you are- you are amazing, y/n. amazing and stunning and intelligent and he missed his chance to be the luckiest guy in the world,” he insisted, gently pulling your attention back to him with a gentle hand on your cheek. you give him a watery laugh through the loud, unfair questions in your head: why don’t you love me like i love you, then?

you don’t realize the tears that run down the streaks of already ruined mascara until bucky points them out, wiping them away with his fingers, “no, no, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” he begs. you can’t help it, though, biting your lip to hold back your unrequited confessions of love.

“nobody wants me. i don’t even think i want me anymore,” you weep, oblivious to the breaking of bucky’s heart when he hears your words, pulling you flush against his chest. “don’t say that, doll. that’s not true-”

“it is. what other reasons can you think of that explain why i’m the only one that’s shown up to the rare dates i’ve been on? why have i had to go on those stupid dates just to forget how pathetic i am that i can’t get over you?”

you’re too deep in the ocean of your thoughts to realize what you’ve said, too little light available in the dark to let you realize the hints you have and will undoubtedly let out if you continue blubbering into bucky’s shoulder like the mess you are. your feelings are scattered, words so disorganized that any way you piece them together will be a mistake. “why else does the one person who i actually want to love me back not want me?”

bucky can make sense of the words you’re saying, the heavy weight they carry when he realizes exactly what they mean, and what you imply. he’s frozen, heart simultaneously fluttering at the mere thought of his feelings being returned and breaking at the cries you’re letting out because of him.

he’s refused to ever be the source of your pain, restricting his own poems of confessions because he didn’t want to hurt you, never wanting to be the reason you cried. he supposes now it was the wrong choice, one he needs to fix.

the bead of insecurity buried stubbornly in his mind shrieks, however, because he’s as clueless as you are and can’t possibly imagine someone like you- so kind and pure and good- loving him back. so he needs to make sure, needs to hear you say it in your voice.

“what?” you let out a watery scoff, full of embarrassment rather than annoyance at him, “don’t make me say it, bucky, please-”

“please say it- i- i need you to say it.”

a beat of silence passes before you sniffle, pulling away from the man you’ve called your best friend and wanted nothing but to be able to call him more. “i love you, bucky. in a way that makes me pretty sure you’re my soulmate because i don’t even believe in that but you make me feel like i should.”

bucky’s storm clouds lighten, doubts dissolving when he listens to what you said, tasting your words and examining each one just to remember it. he pulls your lips to his when they’ve barely processed. “you should,” he says when he pulls away for a second, only to make you lose your breath again when he aches for you immediately, kissing you again, “believe in soulmates.”

“why is that?” you ask breathlessly, letting him pull you back in because you both have been waiting- dreaming about this for so damn long, and he isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to keep away from you now that he has you. he presses a sloppy kiss to your lips, so perfectly imperfect when your teeth clash and you both laugh gently, noses nudging each other when he leans his forehead on yours, “because we’re meant to be, y/n. in that way that soulmates are.”

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narutogwriting · 3 years

Text

Ruin the Friendship

⋇✦ Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x Reader

⋇✦ Genre: angst; fluff; oneshot

⋇✦ CW: none

⋇✦ Length: 2.5k+

⋇✦ @gaarasandpit just a angst/fluff naruto x reader request if you’re up for it 🥰 maybe where the reader and him are somewhat close friends and he notices she’s drifting from him because her feelings get in the way? he’s oblivious and hurt about it then confrontation happens ending up in a good old love confession

“Cmon! Open up!” Naruto called from outside your house, pounding on the door like he had been incessantly for the past five minutes. “I know you’re in there!”

He did not, in fact, know whether or not you were in there, but he couldn’t imagine where else you would be.

All week you’d been missing; Naruto couldn’t find you anywhere. Sometimes he would see the flick of your hair from the corner of his eye or his ears would pick up the sound of your laugh, but by the time he turned to find you, you’d be gone.

Your absence in Naruto’s life wasn’t something of a minor inconvenience; it was a constant pain, as if he was missing a part of his own body. Iruka had joked that Naruto missing you was akin to that of a phantom limb, like there was something of him that should be there and it wasn’t and he ached because of it.

“No, Naruto. We haven’t seen her,” Shikamaru shrugged. Ino nodded her agreement.

“Sorry. Maybe she’s on a mission or something.

Naruto frowned, sighing in frustration. “Alright, well, thanks.” He muttered before he sulked off. Shikamaru and Ino watched him go, waiting until he disappeared before Ino gave you a kick under the table.

“Ow!” you whined as you crawled out from underneath, rubbing your shoulder.

Ino rolled her eyes at you. “You’re lucky Naruto’s an idiot, or he definitely would have seen you.” She told you as you slid yourself down into the seat next to her. “Remind me: why are you avoiding him again?”

Propping your elbows on the table, you rested your head in your hands as you gave a forlorn sigh. That was a loaded question. You were avoiding Naruto because the absolute worse thing that could ever occur had happened.

You’d fallen in love with the idiot blond.

And how could you not? You’d been best friends with Naruto for the longest time. He was a constant in your life, always at your side. It was rare that one of you was seen without the other.

There was no one in the entire world that could make you smile or laugh the way that he could. Whenever you were sad or hurt, he always had the words to make it all better. Naruto had the type of smile that could save people, and you were no exception. There wasn’t a person in the world that could meet someone with a heart like Naruto’s and not walk away changed.

It had been a slow thing, a soft, unsure growing. It wasn’t a feeling you’d recognized at all once, because you always loved Naruto.

It wasn’t totally strange for you to get excited when you saw him or miss him when he was gone. It wasn’t unusual to think about him before you went to sleep.

But when you began to wake up and your first thought was, “my god he’s beautiful” when you looked at the picture of the two of you on your night stand, that was a little strange. You never used to spend extra time in the morning doing your makeup when you knew you were going to see him soon.

And you never used to blush when he smiled at you. Even you could tell you laughed a little too hard when he said something even remotely funny.

It was one day when the two of you were taking a walk that it happened. He was telling you a story, his motions large and exaggerated. Of course, he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. As he turned to you, arms raised high over his head, his foot hit a rock. Naruto went sprawling to the floor, rolling across the ground and landing flat on his back.

You burst out laughing at the scene, hurrying to kneel at his side. “Are you okay!?” You asked him between giggles.

Naruto’s face was bright red with embarrassment as he laid on the floor. He looked up at you, smiling sheepishly. “Oops…”

It was such a simple thing, but you’d looked at Naruto and thought, “I love him so much.”

Nothing had ever startled you more.

Of course you loved Naruto; that was a given. It was never anything that needed to be thought or said. It was just a fact. But as soon as you had thought the words, you knew that it was different this time. You didn’t just love Naruto.

You were in love with him.

You’d hoped that the feelings would fade. Maybe it was just a fluke or a passing crush. Day in and day out, you waited for your feelings to go back to normal, but now that you’d acknowledged them, they only seemed to grow stronger. It got to the point where you couldn’t even look at naruto without turning into a blushing mess. It was pathetic.

So you’d decided there was only one reasonable solution: you would have to avoid him for as long as it took for the feelings to go away.

And of course you didn’t want to stay away from him. Being with him was as natural as breathing. But the way you saw it, if he found out about your feelings, your friendship could be ruined forever. This way, you could take some space, move on, and resume your friendship like nothing happened.

But Naruto wasn’t making that easy.

You hadn’t realized just how much time you and Naruto spent together until you were trying to distance yourself from him. He was everywhere. Every meal, every free moment, he was by your side or trying to be at least.

“Wanna go eat?” “Wanna go train with me?” “Let’s watch a movie!” “I heard there’s gonna be a festival in the next town over!”

You couldn’t get away from him. So this past week, you’d taken to hiding from him every time you saw him, deciding it was easiest to just avoid him completely. In all honesty, you couldn’t believe just how much time and effort Naruto was putting in to trying to find you.

But of course he was putting in effort. Because you were his best friend and he couldn’t understand it; where you’d gone or why you weren’t talking to him. Had he done something wrong? Were you mad at him or something? Your absence in Naruto’s life was drawing out every insecurity he hadn’t even realized he still had. He was worried, drowning in anxiety.

What if you’d decided you didn’t want to be his friend anymore? Maybe you were annoyed with him, found him to be too much. When you and Naruto had first become friends, he thought it was too good to be true. There was no way that someone as nice and pretty and cool as you would want to be friends with him. No one had ever wanted to be his friend before.

But there you were with your sweet smile and calming presence. You had accepted Naruto, every piece of him, without question or reservation. You meant everything to him, so the thought of losing you had sent Naruto into a panic.

You’d managed to avoid Naruto for a full week and a half. The past three days, as far as you knew, he hadn’t even made an effort to find you. It was a relief and heartbreaking all at once. You needed your space, but it hurt to think that maybe Naruto didn’t miss you at all anymore.

These were the thoughts racing through your head when you crawled into bed that night. You doubted you’d be getting much sleep; you’d barely gotten any since you had started avoiding Naruto.

Pulling the covers over yourself, you closed your eyes and tried to get comfortable. It seemed like hours you laid there awake before tiredness finally started to drift over you. You could feel yourself slowly dozing off to sleep when a sudden loud noise startled you awake. Sitting up quickly, your eyes darted to the window where the noise had come from.

Naruto had forcefully pried open the window, shoving himself not-so-gracefully through the opening and crashing onto the floor.

He quickly jumped to his feet, rubbing his head with a small wince before his eyes landed on you, widening slightly.

“Ah ha! I got you!” He shouted victoriously, pointing his finger in your direction. “You can’t hide from me anymore, believe it!”

God, he was too cute for words and that was exactly the problem. Your heart practically burst just looking at him as he appeared so accomplished and excited.

But the triumphant look on his face slowly vanished as he stared at you. When he spoke, his voice came out quietly, dripping with dejection. “Where have you been?”

Quietness settled over the room as the two of you stared at each other. Naruto made no move to get closer to you, and you likewise stayed strapped in your seat. “I’m sorry…” You offered weakly, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t be sorry!” Naruto snapped, anger quickly replacing his despaired features. “Tell me why! What the hell? You think you can just avoid a guy? Cut me off like I’m nothing to you!?” He was trembling, his usual happy grin twisted into a broken grimace so despondent it took you off guard. You had caused that hurt that Naruto was feeling. The thought made you sick.

“If you don’t want to be my friend anymore, at least say something!” Naruto spat. “Don’t just run from me like a coward! If you have something to say, say it to my face!”

There was a harsh edge to Naruto’s voice that he never used with you before. Not in all of your years of friendship. You realized suddenly just how badly you’d hurt Naruto by avoiding him. It wasn’t something you’d considered; you’d only wanted some space so you could get back to normal with him.

But you saw it clearly now, the damage that you had done. Suddenly, in this moment, he was the lonely, isolated child that he had been before you met, feeling alone and abandoned in the world. And this time, it was because of you.

The regret was like bile on your tongue, and you wished fiercely that you could take back the past week and do it differently. You couldn’t stand the thought that it was you who had caused this damage to your best friend, the guy you loved so much.

You didn’t have any words to fix it. All you had was the truth.

“I love you.”

The words slipped from your mouth before you could pull them back in. And once they were out, they couldn’t be taken back.

Confusion quickly settled on Naruto’s face. It was as if you could see the anger dissipate from his body. He stared at you, mouth slightly agape, while he tried to process what you’d just said. “You… What?”

Turning bright red, you pulled the blanket back over your head in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you’d just said that! Now there would never be any going back to the way that things were, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t just let him think that you were cutting him off without reason.

“I said I love you…” You muttered from under the blanket. “I’m in love with you, Naruto. I have been for a while now, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So I thought if I just took some space and didn’t see you for a while, then maybe I would get over it, and then we could just keep things the way they were…”

It was much easier to get the words out when you were under the blanket and couldn’t see him, but you were still nauseous with anxiety as you told him how you felt. Your heart was steeling itself for rejection as you waited for his response.

The only noise was shuffling as Naruto came to your bed. You could feel the indent as he sat down next to you. He grabbed your blanket, slowly peeling it off of you and despite your reluctance, you let him.

You didn’t look at him as you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position. You’d never been so embarrassed before.

“Did it work?” He asked you quietly.

Fidgeting with the hem of your night shirt, you mumbled, “Did what work?”

“Are you over me?”

The question took you off guard, lingering between the two of you, and you couldn’t help but flicker your eyes to his. He was staring earnestly at you with those wide blue eyes you loved so much. You wanted to lie to him but you just couldn’t.

“No.”

Naruto’s focused expression stretched into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you to him. You were too startled to respond, so you just stared at him, confused, instead.

“You scared me!” Naruto laughed happily as he rested his cheek against your head. “I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! You didn’t have to completely avoid me, ya know.”

There was a mix of relief and disappointment at his reaction. So, he wasn’t weirded out about your confession? Things didn’t have to change. The two of you could stay ‘just friends.’

“So, we’re okay?” You asked him nervously. “We’re still friends?”

Naruto gave a puzzled hum as he pulled away from the hug to stare at you. He raised his eyebrow as he studied you for a moment. You could almost see the light bulb go off above his head as he realized.

“Oh!” He laughed, grinning sheepishly and rubbing his neck. “I guess I forgot to tell you it back, huh? I thought it was obvious! I love you too, believe it!”

You blinked as he giggled embarrassedly, that signature smile of his on his lips. “Naruto!” You snapped at him, lunging and knocking you both off the bed. He landed on his back with you on top of him as you rubbed your fist into his head. “You dummy!”

“Hey! Cut it out!” Naruto whined, squirming under your touch. “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend!?”

The question was enough to make you stop, your mouth frozen in a surprised “o” shape, just like he hoped. He laughed, sitting up and holding you to him before he placed a happy kiss to your cheek, making your face flush over red.

You placed your hands on his shoulders, looking at him as it finally sunk in what he said. He loved you too. He called himself your boyfriend. “Is that your way of asking me?” You questioned.

Naruto nodded earnestly. “And my way to get you to stop giving me a noogie! It’s a win win! Well, if you say yes, that is…”

Shaking your head, you laughed as your whole body softened in relief. Your arms slipped around his neck as you hugged him tightly. “Yes, obviously!” You told him. “Yes! I love you.” Naruto hugged you back just as fiercely. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t hesitate. His hand reached up to cup your cheek as he leaned forward, pressing a sweet, soft kiss to your lips.

Well, you guessed your friendship was officially ruined. But suddenly, you didn’t mind so much.

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americaswritings · 3 years

Text

Invisible

Warnings: Angst, Insecurity & Self-doubt, Language

Summary: The reader stays with Tom and his friends during quarantine. To protect her from media and fans, the reader can’t been seen in any social media posts. It leads to her feeling more and more lonely and isolated until she can’t take it anymore.

Words: 2.6k

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader

A/N: I wrote this when Tom hosted the marvel pub quiz, but completely forgot to post it!

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST

"That's it. Thank you for joining and taking part in the quiz! I hope you had as much fun as we did and don't forget to post your answers using the hashtag massive marvel pub quiz so we can find your answers easier. Stay safe and healthy. Bye guys!"

You watched as Tom's face disappeared and the live stream ended.

But the excitement that you had felt when you had first heared of the idea of a marvel quiz was gone. Now you just felt empty. And alone.

You knew that you were overreacting, after all Tom and the others were just a few rooms away, but you couldn't help and feel left out. Again.

You weren't invited to join the live stream in the first place so why join them know?

You knew that Tom only wanted to protect you and himself by keeping you out of the public's eye. If they found out that a female in his age was spending the time during quarantine at his house, they would go wild. You could already imagine the headlines that would follow.

After all Tom had exerperienced how far his ‘fans’ and the media would go when a photo of him and Olivia had gone viral.

Only a few blurry images and both Tom and Olivia had been attacked for weeks, even so far that the girl had to make her instagram private, yet the hate comments never stopped.

And Tom knew that he would never risk the chance of you having to read through pages of hate comments of people that didn't even know you. Because if they did, they knew they could never hate you.

You were kind and loving and you cared a little too deeply.

Tom still remembered when you had called him crying, because you didn't feel confident enough to go out after some girls in your class had made it their mission to target all your insecurities and make mean comments whenever you passed them.

He still remembered the anger and hate he felt inside of him when he listened to your sobbing and how the girl's words had gotten to you, to the point you even believed them.

So when you had moved in with him and the boys, he had decided to keep you out of everything that could reveal to the world that you were living with them. You had agreed without a second doubt, because in that moment it seemed the only rational and responsible thing to do.

Now you weren't so sure anymore, because it hurt so much to be invisible every day. You had gotten used to the fact that you could only watch their instagram stories, live streams and tik toks without being able to join them. But what hurt you even more were the little things.

"Hey y/n, could you leave the room for a sec? You are always in the background of the video!"

A second often turned into hours and soon you found yourself retreating to your room more and more to avoid having to leave and get hurt again.

Yesterday you had decided to do a little game night and you felt so carefree that you came to the conclusion that you were being ridiculous and should rather enjoy the time with them instead of obsessing over your feelings. But then you had laughed over something that had been said and Tom has sighed, dropping his phone.

"Great, now I have to delete that, because you were laughing in the background", he stated, clearly frustrated and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

"I'm sorry", you mumbled but it sounded more like a question than a sincere apologzy, because really, what where you even apologizing for? Harrsion had leaned over to get a better look at Tom's phone. "That would have been a great post, mate!"

You adverted your eyes, starring at the table and analysing the natural pattern of the wood to try and distract yourself from the embarassment and the tears that had filled your eyes. "I know right", Tom sighed again and you crounched down in your seat even more.

"I will do that again now so you have to be completely quiet now y/n, got it?

You wanted to scream at them, because you weren't dumb and yet they were treating you like a child that had misbehaved and was now lectured. But you only gulped and nodded, fearing that if you said something, your voice would break and reveal how hurt you really felt.

While they recorded the story again, you listened to their loud laughter as you fought back the tears.

Eventually you excued yourself, mumbling something about having a headache, but you doubted that they even noticed.

Now you could hear them laugh again and even though Tom's laugh was one of your favorite sounds, it now cut deeper into your heart like a knife.

You were still staring at your phone screen where you saw photos of answer sheets already popping up. You had gotten around 20 answers right, but you didn't feel proud.

When Tom had told you about the marvel quiz you had been beyond excited. Since you could remember you loved the marvel movies. Your rooms had been filled with posters and other merchandise and your friends only rolled their eyes when you suggested to watch a marvel movie during your movie nights.

You had build your knowdlege over the years and loved to challenge Tom, who thought of himself as a big marvel fan as well, regarding who knew more about the marvel cinematic universe.

So when he came up with the idea of a marvel live quiz, you insisted to take part and therefore hear the questions for the first time during the stream so you had the same chance as everyone else.

But as soon as Harry and Harrison had joined the live stream your enthusiasm had faded. They were having so much fun and you were sitting in your room, all on your own. The familiar feeling of loneliness and self doubt had accompained you the rest of the live stream and now that it had ended you just wanted to crawl under the covers and weep into your pillow.

Maybe you were clingy and needy and overthinking again, but you couldn't help the overwhelming sadness and you began to doubt if staying with Tom was a mistake and if your friendship meant more to you than the others.

Maybe you should pack your things tomorrow and tell Tom that you needed to go home. He would understand if you claimed to miss the comfort of being at your home but then again, you would be even more lonely.

Frustrated you threw your phone on the nightstand and quickly changed into your pajamas before crawling into bed.

In the darkness of the room the disappointment felt even more overwhelming and you grabbed onto your pillow for comfort.

A knock made you freeze and your heart started pouding in your chest. You prayed that the person would leave you alone and go away if you pretended to be asleep so you stayed silent.

"Y/n?"

It was Tom's voice.

"We want to watch a movie. Wanna join us?"

You knew that he wouldn't go away until the got an answer so you dismissed your plan and braced yourself to speak.

"No, I am tired, but thanks." You hoped that Tom didn't notice how nervous you sounded and after an agonizing moment of silence you could hear him mutter an "okay" and walk away.

Did you imagine it or did he sound disapppointed? Now feeling guilty too, you covered your face in your hands in frustration.

Why did everything have to go wrong?

And wait...did you still have your make-up on?

You let out a sound of frustration when you realized that you had to get up again to wipe off your make-up. You had applied it because you wanted to feel your best during the quiz you had been so excited for, but now it meant walking all the way to the bathroom.

Which meant leaving your room again.

You slowly opened your door, peeking out to check if the corridors were empty. You proceeded to tiptoe to the bathroom and closed the door behind you while relief flooded you. You really didn't want to meet anyone now, not when you felt like breaking into tears every second.

When you looked into the mirror and began to wash your make-up off, you allowed yourself to let the tears flow. A few sobs escaped your mouth, but the bathroom was far enough from the living room so they wouldn't be able to hear you.

Without the make-up on, you felt a little more relaxed and you couldn't wait to get into bed again.

But when you reached your room without running into anyone on the way, you were more than surprised to see that once you had closed the door and turned around, you weren't alone.

Tom was sitting on your bed, looking up at you when you entered the room.

You could conclude from the frown that covered his face that you looked as horrible as you felt. Your eyes were probably still puffy and red from the crying and your hair was in a messy bun.

"Tom?", you stuttered, too shocked to come up with something that would save you from this conversation. "What are you doing here?", you added, hating how weak your voice sounded.

His frown grew even deeper and he mustered your apperance, hurt visible in his eyes.

"You were so excited for the quiz so when you didn't leave your room I grew worried", he explained while you akwardly stood next to the door, leaving as much space between the two of you as possible.

"Oh that- I just didn't feel good so I decided to sleep early today", you tried to brush it off, but you knew that Tom would not fall for it.

"Why have you been crying?"

His question was acommpanied by a stern gaze and you couldn't help feeling guilty and ashamed.

"I- I wasn't", you stuttered, but it didn't even sound believable to your own ears. Tom raised his eyebrow, but when he saw how uncomfortable you looked his features softened.

"Hey, you can talk to me, you know that right? Whatever it is, you can tell me and we can figure this out together." His voice was so gentle and caring that tears filled your eyes again and you silently cursed yourself for being so emotional.

You didn't want to cry in front of Tom. It would not be the first time and when it had happened he had always managed to make you feel better and put a smile on your face again, but you also knew the shame that would follow afterwards.

You didn't want him to think that you were too sensitive.

But the tears weren't only a result of your hurt, no, anger was building inside of you at his words. "Really Tom, really?", you snapped and he flinched in surprise.

"Are you sure you want me to talk to you? Maybe someone is filming an instagram story and I could be heard in the background so I should just say nothing at all. Or even better, why don't I just leave the room so there is a lesser chance that I could ruin your precious masterpieces by just existing."

Tom's eyes had widened at your outburst and you actually felt bad for a second, but then you remembered the many occasions he had made you feel like you weren't good enough and the anger came back.

"You know what? I think it would be best if I just went home. I am done being treated like an outsider and being blamed for everything I do!"

Tom had jumped up from the bed and was crossing the distance between the two of you with large steps, but you raised your hands before he could come closer to you.

"Y/n I am so sorry", he stumbled over his words, desperately trying to find the right words. "I didn't realize- I never would have..." Frustrated he ran a hand through his hair.

"Listen, I screwed up! I didn't realize that my behaviour- that I was hurting you and I am so sorry! I just wanted to protect you and now I am the one making you feel this way. Fuck, I am so sorry!"

His words seemed geniune and your heart ached to step forward and pull him into a hug, but you knew that you could not forget so easily.

"I didn't think that this was so important to you. Why didn't you say anything?" He was rubbing the back of his head, seemingly tensed.

"I don't care much about not being in the stories Tom. But it really hurt whenever I am send away so you can film together or when I am told to shut up so I can't be heard while you all have fun together”, you explained, trying to keep your vice even.

“I just feel like I am a burden to you and if you don't want to spend time with me that's fine I guess but I would appreciate for you to tell me that so I can stop trying and just go home."

"No, no, no it's not like that I swear!” Tom seemed desperate again, articulating with his hands to underline his words.

“I miss spending time with you, I really do and it was stupid of me to let myself being dragged into this whole instagram thing!

You know I am normally not the person to care much about posting, but I thought now that everyone is stuck at home, I could make my fans happy and distract them from the situation by sharing more of my life. I should have never put them before you and I am truly sorry!” You could see the regret clearly in his eyes as he took in a deep breath.

“Please don't go."

You were biting your lip as you were trying your best to stay calm and not break into tears. You had imagined confronting Tom and letting all your anger and hurt out, but now that he stood in front of you with his eyes full of hurt and regret and his pleading words for you to stay, your anger vanished.

"Are you sure?", you asked him in uncertainty, because you knew you couldn't bare if nothing would change. But Tom desperately nodded. "I am. Tomorrow I am going to post a photo to let my fans now that I am taking a break from social media!"

He looked so determined, so sure, that a warm feeling filled you. "You would do that?"

"Of course! I want to make it up to you and besides I was not lying when I said that I miss spending time with you”, he stated, stepping a little closer to you when you didn’t protest anymore.

“You were so distant the last days and I didn't know what to do, so I thought that I should give you space. Seems like that is the last thing I should have done", he sayed with a sheepish smile covering his face.

"Sorry for being so caught up in myself. I should have said something earlier too", you admitted, a small smile forming on your lips, when you felt the burden fall off your shoulders.

"Hug?", Tom suggested and you didn't have to think twice about it.

When he wrapped his strong arms around you, you realized that going back to your place would have been a mistake. Because at some point your home hadn't been a place anymore. Instead it had become a person and you didn't plan on letting go any time soon.

----

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PERMANENT: @fairytalesforever @hamartocado @capkilljoy @choke-me-sweet-pea @sleepinginthegarden7 @thenoddingbunny-blog @ttalisa

TOM HOLLAND: @mbsgr @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @fairydustparker @its-the-unknownspideywrites @tomhollanders2013 @hollandsmiss @100kindsofblake @popluckbih @quaksonhehe

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo.

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again.

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock.

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right?

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay.

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him.

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed.

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations:

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party!

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective.

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence.

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

#dream smp #long posts #dream smp recaps #prison arc #i apologize for not including a lot of puffy's stream :(#it's really late and this post's a mile long as is #if you see any typos no you don't /lh

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