AN: This was just something a came up for a story but I’m too lazy to write it out 🤭❤️ also Rotxo has been on my mind 😦 feeling like giggling and kicking my feet he’s so precious
masterlist
You always hung out with Ao’nung and Rotxo with their friends.
Rotxo always thought you were pretty and would blush every time he saw you
He also tends to talk about you or bring you up because your always on his mind
“Oh look at these shell I found at the bottom, aren’t these (Y/N)’s favorite?
“This fruit is delicious, do you think (Y/N) would like some?”
Ao’nung was not oblivious, he saw right through Rotxo, knowing he had a thing for his sister.
Ao’nung at first didn’t like it because ew gross my sister? and she’s so annoying how could you like her? There’s better girls
Plus there was the hidden protective brother in him that he hides
But he knows Rotxo would treat you well, he trust Rotxo as that is his best friend
One day he was sitting down with Rotxo as they were sharpening spears and decided this would be a good time to bring it up
“Rotxo…do you like my sister?”
Rotxo was shocked, had he been that obvious? Did you know?!? Was Ao’nung gonna be mad?
Rotxo searched Ao’nung’s face for any frown or a hint of anger but there was nothing but a calm look
Finally mustering up the courage he told Ao’nung yes,
“I like (Y/N)…she is the most beautiful Metkayina girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Since day once of meeting you guys I feel in love with her and all her little quirks she has. (He went on more to talk about you)
Ao’nung was like Rotxo shut up that’s gross I don’t want to hear you talk about my sister like that.
Ao’nung also was like, since your my bro and I’m also tired of having my sister moan and groan about being lonely I’ll help you ig 😒
They came up with a plan together, they set up a whole thing with flower petals and cut fruit and candles and shit (it was cute)
Ao’nung is gonna distract his parents while he has Tsireya sneak you out to go meet Rotxo
Rotxo will be waiting and confess is undying love
THEN BAM KISS KISS MUAH YOUR TOGETHER
Yeah, so that’s how they thought is was gonna go..
When Ao’nung was trying to distract his parents Tsireya had already been passed out 💀 she was tired so then he switched up and was like
Actually you know how responsible (Y/N) is? Like you should have her to take a walk, ACTUALLY I WILL take my lovely sister on a walk let us have some bonding time yeah?
They were like “bond here. Wtf? It’s late”
Yeah this wasn’t working.
Rotxo has been sitting there holding the flowers he had picked for you in hand.
“where the heck are they? I’ve been here for 20 mins now… Oh no!? Did (Y/N) not want to come and meet me?”
POOR BABY
Your parents were fed up with Ao’nungs ranting about random shit tryna come up with a good reason as to why you need to go out this late so they were like boy if you don’t stfu and tell us that trouble your tryna get up into
At this point Ao’nung was fed up too because he was like DAMN CAN WE JUST LEAVE? THERES SOMETHING IMPORTANT ABOUT TO HAPPEN
But they were all interrupted by Rotxo coming in with a sad pout “BEFORE ANY WORDS ARE SPOKEN I MUST TALK!”
“(Y/N) I can’t hide my feelings forver from you, you mean the world to me and I don’t want our friendship to be ruined. I’m sorry that I love you but please if you would like we can forget about all this and continue being friends.” He was talking his heart out.
Your whole family just stood there shocked.
You were blushing like crazy and go up to hug Rotxo, you also had a crush on him
Yea the whole “my brothers best friend” troupe
“Rotxo what are you talking about I didn’t say anything yet, I like you too!”
He was like “what really?!”
Ao’nung was mad cuz they literally had to come up with a whole ass plan only for y’all to just be like “yo I like you” “I like you to”
ANWAYS he was just happy y’all were together now
But he was still disgusted
Also your parents approved of it because they knew how much of a good boy Rotxo is
Hi how are you? First I wanna tell you that your writing is amazing and I really enjoy reading you work. Keep up with it💕
So... can request headcanons (or drabble, whatever you prefer) where the reader asks Nikolai gogol (they're dating) to cut her hair? I think his reaction would be funny cause he seems to care deeply about his hair...
Tysm and also, no pressure!💕💕
a/n: i'm doin pretty good, thank you sm :D this is such a cute req i added some others as well if that's alr <3 it's fitting since yesterday i literally chopped off all my hair lmao, i feel like nanno now hehe
warnings: implied fem reader, no specific hair type or length mentioned
(Nikolai, Dazai, Chuuya) When Their S/O Asks Them to Cut Her Hair
Nikolai
i can't decide if this is a good decision or a disastrous one
granted he does have pretty hair and seems to take good care of it himself but...
i just think that nikolai + a pair of scissors + your hair = a possible disaster
but you were willing to give it a try, apparently
when you told nikolai that you wanted him to cut your hair, his face lit up immediately
throws you into a chair and pulls all the stuff he needs out of his overcoat??
you're starting to have second thoughts that this MIGHT not be the best idea when he literally grabs a chunk of your hair and just...cuts it off
too late to stop now huh 0-0
mf also doesn't let you look in a mirror until the very end?? so ur anxiety was skyrocketing while he does who knows what to your hair
teases you at the end and won't flip the mirror around for you to see so you YANK it out of his hands
but?? you're shocked to see it actually looks?? really good??
bro even styled it for you like damn! nikolai why are you busy being a terrorist when you could be a hairstylist instead!
& depending on the length you wanted it he may have given you a little matching braid like his <3
Dazai
um so we all know how i feel about him
and i'm sorry but there's no way this is turning out the way you wanted it. like why would you even let this man bring scissors near your hair
you'd wanted to change your hair pretty drastically and figured hell, why not ask your bf so you can save money instead of going to a stylist
and sure it's a great idea on the surface, but this is dazai we're talking about
ofc he's all excited about it. won't shut up about how he's going to make you look "better than ever before" ??
dazai's like "i do my own hair so, as you can see, you can trust me" mf all i see is ur goofy ass uneven haircut but ok
another one who won't let you look into the mirror until he's finished
does it in like 10 minutes too?? and that's when you KNOW something's gonna be very wrong
spins your chair around to face the mirror and you're fr flabbergasted. like >:0
pls you jump up from the chair and are ready to start throwing punches ngl!!
let's just say you lost more money afterwards trying to get it fixed than if you'd went to the hairdresser in the first place
Chuuya
aah. my beloved <3
so. you either hate or you love chuuya's hairstyle and i'm one of the mfs that loves it (it is very gorgeous to me??)
n i already know y'all are gonna be like "how ru gonna say dazai's hair is bad but like chuuya's" it's an acquired taste alright
some may call it BAD taste but i think this man knows what he's doing when it comes to hairstyling. not as good as nikolai, but you can trust him whenever you wanna change things up
i feel like he's definitely nervous about it tho :') like he's just so worried he'll mess it up & you'll be mad lmao
hit him with the "so you can't do it? alr i'll ask someone else" and BAM he's shoving you down in a chair & asking what you want done with ur hair
works every time
is overly cautious. sits you right in front of a mirror and fr asks "is this ok" before cutting each section?? ur just like "yes sweetie, for the third time that's fine" :')
chuuya just wants you to be happy okay
the end result is no surprise since he basically walked you thru the whole thing but, i'll have you know it looked great <3
A little Ninjago Movie Verse fanfic one shot because I can and I will do so.
Genre: Comedy, a bit of action, drama and crack
Main Characters: Jay, Zane and Kai
Description: Kai invites three people over for a heist for fireworks. (For Lloyd)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
RING. RING. RING. RING. RING.
-disturbed an empty and deserted garage. Jay’s garage, that is. Footsteps echoed towards the secret hideout door and flung open, revealing a drenched, orange scarf wearing boy in the doorway. Sighing and slightly shakily, Jay reached to the phone and pressed it on his shoulder and cheek as he took off his scarf and began fixing his umbrella.
Caught off guard from a loud greeting over the speaker on the phone, he merely dropped it caught it just in time.
“YO! JAYJAY! What’s up buddy?!”
Boy did he recognise that voice. He took a quiet sigh and began fixing his other wet belongings with the phone on his other shoulder and cheek.
“Oh Kai! Nothing much, why are you just phone calling me when we both parted ways like, I don’t know, 3 minutes ago?”
It was a genuine question at least. Kai bolted off on Nya’s motorcycle in the rain as Jay took the roads home to the junkyard. And by going there, it was just him, an umbrella and himself. Sure, his parents don’t exactly have a time table for when he has to go home and when he can leave. He can do whatever he wanted as long as he conducts a very convincing reason as to why he would do said thing that he wants to do.
“Such in a hurry buddy, Nya doesn’t get patient for too long though, you know how she is. But bro, tonight is THE night! You gotta get into your gi.”
There was rustling heard behind the phone on Kai’s side, judging by how the Fire Ninja semi-yelped on dropping something, it was fairly important. Problem ensures, Jay doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“Uh huh, and the plan is what now?”
During that second, he tried to wrack his brain on at least one thing he caught in Kai’s explanation during the most boring hour of school last week. Something about fireworks and the classroom, is all he can think of.
That was, until a slight click was heard in the Lightning Ninja’s brain.
“Don’t tell me you forgot! Jay, it’s the memorial of Lloyd’s birthday where we celebrate by exploding fireworks in the classroom just to piss off the school! Everyone’s been treating Lloyd really badly instead of the rest of the others, so we make it up to him! Like BA-BAM! WHOOSH NYOOM KA-POW!”
Oh, that’s right. Jay sucked in a breath.
“You’ve got to be kidding-”
“Absolutely not.”
“That’s stealing!!”
“So?”
The Blue Ninja’s teeth chattered.
“Kai, your my bestest friend in the entire world buddy and I appreciate the attempts on making it up to Lloyd but uhhh, stealing is basically Garmadon’s thing, like, it’s a bad thing, and we’re ninja. Us doing that? That’s like, bad bro.”
Walker hoped he convinced Smith to just turn around, gather his crazed out thoughts and say ‘Your right Jay’, but that hope has a 1% chance on happening. Plus, anyone would do anything else than say how Jay’s right. Man he knows his friends well.
“Well bro, you gotta suck it up. Because we’re doing this for Lloyd.”
Kai’s tone of voice became serious. Was he really down for this? Jay sighed. They did everything to cheer him up lately as well as pissing off citizens as payback for bullying Lloyd. Problem is, the Green Ninja has been bullied in his school life. He was treated as an outcast and a ‘villain’ just because his father was Garmadon. Apparently the biggest and only villain that Ninjago City is up against.
Lloyd was used to the mockery and the behaviour. They would whisper, spread rumours, anything that was bad. They would all target him. Until one day, Jay was also mocked as well for how awkward and weird he is and how he lives in the junkyard. At lunch, he noticed Lloyd in the distance, eating alone. The rumours of him picking on people didn’t have any proof. I guess you could say the orange scarf guy spied on Garmadon’s son just in case he wasn’t pretending to be distant and awfully nice.
It all took Jay just a breath, to start a conversation to Lloyd. Awkward at it’s best, but he’d never seen someone so happy other than Lloyd beaming when Jay announced that he’ll happily be his friend. And thus, it began. The friend group started to slowly grow, and now, they’re here. Kicking Garmadon’s butt and becoming great ninja’s, saving the city like it’s a piece of cake.
Though, Jay didn’t know that he would end up here, having Kai beg him to heist fireworks. But he remembered what Lloyd went through, what Kai had just said;
‘You gotta suck it up, we’re doing this for Lloyd.’
A loud voice burst his bubble of thoughts.
“So! Your in?”
The Blue Ninja took a deep gasp.
“Yes.”
“Great! Don’t worry, if we get hurt, we got health insurance.”
Jay hummed in thought, he wasn’t sure if Kai actually knew what that meant.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“This is enticing.”
“We gotta keep quiet for this one, Jay”
“I don’t sound like that!”
“Quiet Zane!”
The other two bickered whilst Zane twisted his head towards the other two, a quite still smile plastered on his face.
“Okay okay, worried expression is Jay, extremely light blue eyes is Zane. I’m Kai.”
Jay could’ve hesitated to roll his eyes when he introduced himself.
Right now, they’re at the place near Garmadon’s Tower, where most of the good stuff they keep is. There were boxes of fireworks, and many of them stacked together on some crates. The three were covered in all black gi’s with a few supplies. Ropes, grappling hooks, and weapons just in case they get caught.
Kai already bolted to one of the crates and started focusing on picking the lock on them, Zane wheeled himself over to another crate until the Red Hothead stopped him.
“Zane! We only need these ones, we’re not gonna blow up the school.”
“Precisely, fireworks are destined to be exploded. I thought that was our intention, to make it up to Lloyd.”
“Yeah but we don’t blow up the school. We set them off in a fairly big classroom for some chaos! Y’know?”
The curly hair teen peered over to the side, giving him a worried but rather displeased look.
“That’s still going to make the chances of the whole school being blown up more likely than ever, y’know?”
Kai groaned at Jay’s remark, still picking at the lock until it snapped open. A grin displayed itself on Kai’s face as he rubbed his hands together, in a rather villainous way. He grabbed a small box of fireworks and shoved it in the black duffel bag he had slung on his other arm. The other two ninja started doing the same until the crate was fully empty.
“I’m surprised I’m actually a part of this. Don’t forget, if we get accused, your taking ALL the blame, Kai!”
Jay pointed an accusing finger towards Kai’s way, low chance Kai is even looking at his way at all.
“Yippee.”
Zane’s arms shot up, as a sign of accomplishment, with tiny grin on his face. He lowered his arm after the said curly hair ninja got a hold of it and started scolding Kai to get a move on.
“We got them now!-”
Kai, Jay and Zane froze in their spot as a huge knock disturbed their celebrations. Jay stuck his index finger in front of his face shakily forcing Kai to shut up, but the Raspberry coloured ninja immediately started wheezing quietly out of laughter as Zane lowered himself to crouch between the two.
“Who goes there?!”
A raspy voice echoed on the other side of the door. The knocking intensified.
“Bro we gotta go- Get out get out getoutgetout”
“I’m trying! Shut up and stop shaking my shoulders, your about to pull my arms off!”
The other two whispered a yell and got on their feet as fast as they can. Red and Blue got to where they entered from, a window. As Kai was sure that the fireworks are okay and Jay fell face first on the wet rocky cement down below, he turned to call out for Zane, who stood there as he pointed at something.
“A duck. It’s rubber too.”
A small smile appeared on the robot teen’s face as he pointed at it. Kai nodded and started signalling him to go to the window and escape. Zane gently picked up the rubber duck as if it was actually alive and started wheeling to where Kai was, who had their straining arm outstretched towards him.
“Zane, do you want the duck to be arrested?”
Kai played along, rolling his eyes in the process as Zane’s smile lowered.
“No, I indeed do not want the duck to be accused of such crime.”
“Then grab it, get over at the window and we’ll get out of here!”
Kai whisper yelled again as he gestured for the white haired robot to get to the window faster.
Jay peered up towards where Kai and Zane were, hugging the duffel bag. He tapped his foot impatiently as Zane and Kai appeared next to him. Jay did a curt nod towards the two, until he looked at Zane’s covered hands.
“What’s in your hand buddy?”
“Jeremy.”
Zane smiles as he revealed a rubber duck. Which is the happiest Jay has ever seen him.
“Can’t believe we almost got caught by that.”
“Says you, wheezing your head off which is the opposite of when I did this!-”
Jay put his index finger on his face again and re-enacted what he did earlier. The Fire Ninja pouted. Soon after, they all attached each-other on Nya’s ride and zoomed off.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And thus, the headcanon of fireworks in the classroom has been born. (Might note this whole thing is inaccurate, but I was bored. Also the fireworks belonged to Garmadon’s goons.)
Can you do a scenario where reader (male pronouns) kind of outs himself as bi and then hides for a while since it was an accident and he wasn't actually ready and after some time bakugo finds him and they end up awkwardly confessing to each other? Bonus points if you can do ComfortingTM class 1A (also I just really want bi representation 🥺)
BRO BRO ur reblogs and replies always make me BAM BAM
(Also y’all ik that gif is huge but it had denki AND baku in it and i felt compelled to use it bc kamis kinda important in the story NSNDNEKWK)
——————
Bakugou x reader - How to Out Your Classmate
⚠️warnings - being outed by your classmate (denki) (I’m sorry denki stans), bakugou kinda bulling kami at the end kdnfjekfj
Pronouns - male, he/him
——————
It was something he didn’t mean to say.
Rather, it just slipped out.
————
“Ne, (L/n)-kun, don’t you think Yao-momos hair is kinda sexy today? Her hair down plus that hair clip is FIRE dude!”
Kaminari slung a arm around (Y/n’s) shoulder, while Mineta smugly grinned from his seat. He wiped away a line of drool dripping from his mouth.
“Oh oh oh, her hair falls over her boobs so perfectly! I just wanna touch them at least once, ehuheuheu...”
Sero sighed from his seat. “Dude. You really are a scumbag. Stop that.”
Mineta, not missing a beat, turned to Sero with a shit-eating grin. “Oh? Why’s that? Are you gay or something?”
(Y/n) visibly stiffened from under Kaminari’s grasp. Kaminari however, didn’t notice and played along into Mineta’s joke.
“Yeah dude, kinda sus. Don’t go perving on me in the locker rooms now, haha!”
Sero sighed once more, this time with a playful smile. “Shut up, your probably more sus than I am-“
He was cut off when (Y/n) started wriggling out from under Kaminari’s arm. The three looked at (Y/n) quizzically, while (Y/n) awkwardly coughed. “I’m...leaving.”
“Why? What happened?” Kaminari leaned on the back of Seros desk.
“Well-you guys are...loud and I’m going to my desk.” Even the dumbest person could tell how tense (Y/n) was. Though, Kaminari was as dumb as he was oblivious. He scoffed, but it sounded more like a chuckle.
“What? I don’t get it, man. We were teasing Sero, not you.” Kaminari’s teasing tone felt like heaters blasting full power through (Y/n’s) body. It was strange. You always felt kind of hot when you get a little flustered. “So what part of what we said bothered you?”
“N-nothing!” (Y/n) cursed at the way he raised his voice, cursing even more at his small stutter.
“Then why are you panties in such a twist? I’m just making fun of Sero bein’ sus.”
“W-well how fun! Move, class is starting.” Truth be told, class didn’t start until 10 minutes later. When (Y/n) tried to subtly push past Kaminari, he grabbed him by the arms and blocked his way out. “No way I’m moving! You’re mad for some reason, and I just wanna know why!”
“So what exactly did we do?”
Sero rested his chin on his palm. “Yeah if you can tell us we can stop doing it, (L/n)-kun. I gotta agree with Kami on this one.”
An irk mark appeared as (Y/n’s) face flushed a darker shade of pink. Not in the good way though. He struggled helplessly in Kaminari’s stronghold, before tching and looking away.
“There’s nothing more to say-! You’re just-starting to get on my nerves and I wanna leave-!”
“Really? That’s it?” Kaminari looked at (Y/n) skeptically, before his face lit up. “Oh wait!”
“You started getting all pissy when we were talking about Yaoyorozu...and you also got mad the other day when she was talking about Bakugou...”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“..So you like Yao-“
“I don’t fucking like Yaoyorozu!”
Now Kaminari was starting to get antsy. “Then what! Why are you mad! Is it because Mineta and I were ‘perving’?!”
“I’m not fuckin’ mad about you drooling over Yao-momos boobs! I’m not mad at all!”
Students started to gather once Kaminari and (Y/n) started to raise their voices higher and higher. Kaminari’s grip on (Y/n) was long gone, though (Y/n) was too upset to notice.
“If you weren’t mad about that, you were obviously mad about that time Yao-Momo talking about how Bakugou was attractive. So what? Do you like Bakugou or something? Are you gay?”
(Y/n) paled and grit his teeth. He was full on yelling now. “Stop saying that, damnit! I don’t like boys! Y-you know that!”
Kaminari gasped comically. “Oh my god! You totally avoided my question, dude!”
“What?!”
“Yeah! Now I get it! That’s what’s bothering you so much! It all makes sense!”
Kaminari’s mad expression morphed into one that you make when you solve a difficult question. It felt like all the blood in (y/n’s) face was drained, yet all the blood rushing to his cheeks burned like fire. Sero stood up from his chair and placed a hand on Kaminari’s shoulder. “Dude, uh-I think that’s enou-“
“Your confused because you’re straight but now you’ve started to like a guy, right?! Bakugou, right?!”
Seros warning went over Kaminari’s head completely. (Y/n) dug his nails into his palm while Kaminari pried into (Y/n’s) mind with his eyes.
“I’m not confused! I’m pissed. Very, very pissed at you!”
The blond haired boy slammed his arms down on Seros table and leaned in uncomfortably close. (Y/n) wanted to step back, but if he did, he’d run straight into Sero.
“Ok. If you answer this compleeeetely honestly, I’ll let you go. Swear! And we’ll never talk about this again! Just say yes or no! Nothing else!”
Sero glanced around the room. Everyone was staring, some had their hands over their mouths, and some were whispering and asking what was going on. Sero nervously tugged on the fabric of (Y/n’s) blazer. “U-um...yo... (y/n)...Kamin-“
“Do you like Bakugou?”
“I-“
“And don’t say you don’t like boys or you’re not gay, we ‘know’ that!”
“I’m-“
“Just say yes or no!”
“N-“
“Are you ga-“
“I’M BI!” (Y/n’s) sudden outburst silenced the classroom. It was like a blow from a king to shut up the commoners. “I’M BI, SO SHUT UP! ARE YOU HAPPY?! I’M NOT GAY AND I DON’T LIKE BAKUGOU! I DONT! I-I DONT. I don’t. I...”
Stagnant air flooded the 1-A classroom. Almost immediately, (Y/n) slapped both his hands over his mouth, eyes blown wide. Kaminari awkwardly chuckled. “Uh...”
(Y/n) took a tentative step back, bumping straight into Sero. He reflexively grabbed onto (y/n’s) forearms, stabling him.
“Are you oka-“
“Don’t touch me!” (Y/n) pushed off of Seros body and stumbled over a desk. He crashed onto the ground and fumbled onto his bottom. Students upon students neared towards him, all their face and voice blending together into one big, muddy pile. Their voices eventually turned into ringing, louder and louder until-
“SHUT UP!” (Y/n) rose to his wobbly legs, half running and half crawling towards the door as fast as he could. He could hear the protestant shouts of his classmates, or even the sleepily confused expression of his teacher as as flew by him in the hallway.
He guessed he was skipping class that day.
————
40 missed calls from: Mina-San domoo-!!
125 unopened texts from: Mina-San domoo-!!
23 missed calls from: Kamiii ⚡️
45 unopened texts from: Kamiii ⚡️
12 unopened texts from: Iida Tenya.
5 unopened texts from: ura-chaaaan 💖
1 unopened text from: Bakugou
(Y/n) turned off his phone. He knew if he kept it on, Mina would keep spamming his phone with text messages.
It’s been about a few days since his whole freak out happened. He’d bolt out of class the second it was dismissed, and he kept himself either locked in his room, or out of the dorms as much as humanly possible. He wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet.
His phone buzzed again. He sighed, half expecting it to be another spam text from Mina. What he didn’t expect, was to see Bakugous contact photo on his screen, with the big green words “Incoming call-Bakugou” blaring at him so intimidatingly.
Something made him want to answer.
He pressed the phone to his ear.
“Oi.”
Bakugous gruff voice sent chills down the boys spine. His voice seemed to lock itself inside his throat, refusing to come out his mouth.
“Say something, dumbass.” Oh boy, was he trying. Everytime he opened his mouth, his throat closed up and refused to open again. Bakugou sighed harshly through the speaker.
“Stop being stupid and avoiding us-“ (Y/n) absentmindedly pressed the red “end” button. If Kaminari or Kirishima or whatever convinced Bakugou, to convince HIM to stop avoiding them, just because he ‘liked’ him, (and he totally did), he’d rather not hear it.
(Y/n) went to crumple up a piece of paper he was scribbling on, and drop it into the trash can, when it bounced on top and rolled away pathetically near his feet. His trash can was overflowing. Well, it was expected, since he was deliberately missing out on trash days just so he didn’t have to leave his dorm. (Y/n) swiped up the piece of paper, along with the trash bag lining the bin.
A few seconds outside couldn’t hurt. No one will see him. He’ll just...throw the bag in the dumpster, and slink back in before anyone knows he’s there.
————
(Y/n) hauled the trash bag into the dumpster, throwing it from out over his shoulder. He dusted off his hands and wiped forming sweat off his brow. The trash was out, no one saw him, all he had to do was slip back in his room before anyone sees him.
He huffed and turned around, immediately being smacked by a spiky tuft of blond hair. All the color drained from (Y/n’s) face. Bakugou turned his head and spat onto the dirt, clicking his tongue in the process.
“Figured you’d be here.”
”...there’s no way you could’ve-“
“It takes about a couple days for a small trash can to fill up. And knowing you, shit-for-brains, would come and take it out when no one was really watching. 5 pm, when everyone’s getting ready for dinner. You really do have shit-for-brains, shittyass.”
Bakugou may seem like a meathead, but the times he showed he was observant and intelligent made his heart tie knots around itself. (Y/n) bit back a stutter and a blush.
“W...ell, how-how’d you know I was going to take it out today? A-and to this dumpster, instead of the one on the other side of the dorms?”
Bakugou scoffed loudly, stalking closer to him. (Y/n) gulped. “This ones closer to your dorm room, even I know that, loser.”
Bakugous voice dipped, suddenly becoming uncharacteristically quiet. “...and I’ve been coming here everyday at 5 pm...shittyass...”
Bakugou was really dedicated to his scheme, huh. Just so he could see him? (Y/n)? He should be the LAST person Bakugou would want to see. Especially with what Kaminari was blabbering about. Still...It made (Y/n) feel a bit special.
But knowing Bakugou, he was just probably here to tell him how disgusting he was. Maybe he’ll start calling him ‘dick-for-brains’ instead of ‘shit for brains’. Or just plain on ‘fag’.
“Oi-stop spacing out and fucking listen to me! And don’t you dare run away until you hear me the fuck out!”
Bakugous palms flashed white, generating small blasts and he pointed an agitated finger at (Y/n). He stepped back reflexively.
“Um...well...what did you want then?” (Y/n) awkwardly fumbled with his hands behind his back, trying to keep still as much as he could. He wanted to disappear.
“Is it true?”
(Y/n) looked up. Bakugou was staring dead on, with his hands shoved stiffly in his pockets and sporting the faintest blush on his face. It was so unnoticeable, you could blink and miss it. That, and the trademark scowl, you could hardly tell if his face was red because of anger or something else.
“What is?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, fuckass! Do you like me or not?!”
(Y/n) opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Bakugou grunted and stepped closer. “Answer me!”
“S-so what if I do-?! You gonna call me a fag?!” (Y/n) was sweating bullets. He hoped Bakugou wouldn’t see how utterly nervous he was. Fake it til you make it. Though, he doesn’t know what he’d do once Bakugou goes flames blazin’ on his ass. He could all ready see his reaction-
Bakugou smirked. “Knew it.”
Knew it? (Y/n’s) nerves temporarily fizzled down, a wave of confusion washing over him. “...What?”
“God, do you need me to spell everything out for you? It was obvious. To me at least. Everyone was probably too fuckin’ dumb to notice.”
(Y/n) fell silent. He could speak if he wanted to, his throat wasn’t closing up, but he chose to keep silent. It’s not like he knew what to say, anyways. He was stunned into submission.
“-so I was right. Now, go out with me, Bitch.”
“Thanks. But I’ll pass.”
“I-“ Bakugou made a sputtering noise. (Y/n) wasn’t sure if he was caught off guard or sputtered out of sheer anger. “What?! Why the fuck not?!”
“Dude, how do I know you aren’t like, I dunno, being bribed by Kaminari or something to try and ‘prove that I’m bi’? Or that your just mocking me?”
“Idiot! Why the fuck would you think I’d listen to a dumbass like dunce face?! I fucking like you, you like me, I don’t see the problem here!”
(Y/n) knew he wasn’t lying. Bakugou was many things, a shithead, a piece of angry trash, but he wasn’t a liar. Still, he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Dude, as much as I’d love to go out with you, there’s too much cons to it. I mean-first off, I don’t want people calling you a fag or anything because you’re with me...second, I’m...scared of how the class’ll take it, especially for someone like you-“
“Eh?! What’s that supposed to mean?! Are you fucki-“
(Y/n) pushed past him, accidentally brushing his shoulder in the process.
“...And third, even if I’m too scared how the class would react, I’m too prideful to let Kaminari ‘predictions’ win.”
He was gone before Bakugou could turn around.
————
(Y/n) was late to class on purpose that day.
He didn’t want to risk it with Bakugou, Kaminari, anyone. He’s more afraid of the class than he is of getting scolded by Aizawa. And that was saying something.
So when he walked in the door, Bakugou gripping Kaminari’s tie and releasing small blasts in the air with his wound up hand, he didn’t know if he should replace ‘Getting Scolded By Aizawa’ with ‘Getting Murdered By Bakugou’ in his worries for today.
“Fucking idiot!” Bakugou growled, spit flying onto Kaminari’s face as he set off another blast. It was small enough not to cause damage to any desks or chairs around them, but it was close enough to Kaminari’s face to make him yelp. “I’ll fucking kill you!”
“Ow!” Kaminari half yelled-half whimpered. Bakugou’s hands heated up, glowing orange from under Kaminari’s chin. “Hey-HEY! Chill-!W-what did I even do?! OW!”
Bakugou slammed him against his desk by his blazer. “It’s your fuckin fault that shit-for-brains won’t go out with me!”
Another blast. This time, fired in the air but much bigger than before. Kaminari flinched. “Ah! S-shit-for...(L/n)?! How is it my fault?!”
“It’s your fault because you made him all scared and shit to go out with me! With your stupid prying ass! Now he won’t go out with me until I get you to apologize! So apologize so I can have a fuckin boyfriend! Go die!”
(Y/n) looked around the room. No one was trying to stop Bakugou from literally roasting Kaminari alive. Not even Iida. Everyone stood there, eyes locked on Kaminari or recording them while stifling snickers. (Y/n) walked up to Mina, who was recording and whispering commentary near the speaker.
“Uh...what’s happening? Why’s no one stopping Bakugou?”
Mine looked up. “Well-he kinda deserved it. I mean, he did act like a dick to you a few days ago. Bakugou’s just givin’ him a piece of his mind.” She fixed her angle on her phone, hunching down slightly in the process. “Also, glad to see you talking to us again, (L/n)~”
(Y/n) glances around the room once more. Everyone seemed to silently agree. Though, Iida looked like he was going to explode in his seat. Poor Iida. Poor Kaminari.
(Y/n) was brought out of his mind when Mina slowly panned her phone over to him. He was about to question her, when Kaminari was thrown carelessly at his feet. Bakugou kicked at Kaminari’s hunched figure, stepping on his back with his hands clenched in his pockets.
“Say it.”
Kaminari made a wheezing noise.
“FUCKIN’ SAY IT!”
“I-I’m sorry for outing you in-in front of our classmates...”
Bakugou dug his foot into Kaminari’s back. “LOUDER!”
“I’M SORRY-OW! FOR O-OUTING YOU IN FRONT OF OUR CLASSMATES-!”
Bakugou gave Kaminari a look saying to ‘keep going.’ Kaminari shot back with a face that said ‘dude. What you want me to say is fucking stupid.’
Bakugou snarled and fired another mini explosion into the air. Kaminari squeaked and looked up at (y/n), who had the most confused look on his face. Kaminari sighed.
“And...totally I don’t think that you and Bakugou are gonna get together...totally unexpected...”
Kaminari, even if he was about to be best to a pulp, couldn’t help the snicker from leaving his mouth. Bakugou, you dumb fuck. He was probably thinking back to the time (Y/n) said ‘I’m too prideful to let Kaminari ‘predictions’ win’. Even so, that was just dumb. Even for Bakugou.
Bakugou huffed contently, while Kaminari shakily pulled himself up. Bakugou thunked him on the head again. “There. Now you have no fuckin’ reason not to be my boyfriend. If you don’t I’ll kill you.”
(Y/n) hummed out of hesitation. “Ehhhh...but...”
“We allowed Bakugou to rough up Kaminari, which is a CLEAR violation of the rules, the least you could do is say yes, (y/n)-kun! Though I do believe Bakugou should be punished for his harsh actions.”
Iida jutted out from his seat, swinging his arm in the air. Everyone stayed silent for a second, until Tsuyu stepped forward. “I agree with Iida-Chan, kero. You two would look nice together.”
One by one, the class started saying how ‘cute’ they’d be together or that they didn’t care that (y/n) was Bi, much. It was different from when the class was clamoring around him, instead of all their voice blending together in one big ring, he could hear every single persons song of praise. He supposed it was alright. It wouldn’t hurt as much as he think it would.
(Y/n) sucked in a breath, and turned his head to Bakugou. He looked at (Y/n) almost expectantly.
“...fine....you win...you better take care of me, Bakugou.”
He turned his head and scoffed. “Idiot. I was gonna do that regardless.”
Mina started clapping and wolf whistling. Eventually, everyone started to clap and ‘aww’ed, before quickly rushing to their seats once they heard groggy footsteps approach the door.
A man with shaggy hair walked in. The class sat silent, staring at Aizawa. He sniffed and trailed his eyes around the room.
Setting his sleeping bag behind his podium, he pursed his lips. “Where is Kaminari?”
“W-whey...”
Kaminari was laying on the floor next to (y/n’s) seat, smiling dumbly with burn marks. He was pumping his fists with his thumbs sticking out. Everyone broke into a cold sweat.
“Would anyone like to tell me why Kaminari is out of his seat?”
Oh fuck.
Bakugou got 3 days house arrest.
——————
Jdjdjejejc this was real fun to write HAHAHAHA I’m lowkey proud of it
Ahaha, the new year! A time for fun and festivities! Surely, that’s what YOU’RE going to be doing, right?
Wrong.
Well, I mean right, but it’s not fun by what most of NRC calls as. So imagine this, right, you’re sitting in yo damn class doing your damn shit when suddenly, your classmate whispers to you from behind.
“Hey.” You nudge an elbow, to show that you’re listening.
“You should watch ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’. It’s a really good series.” You nod in thanks at the recommendation and your classmate retreats back to his seat.
And the day goes on as usual: Running around campus doing your part-time jobs, occasionally talking to your friends and seniors, feeding Grim, appreciating how fine everybody looks today- pardon me.
So now, it’s bedtime and you’re there listening to Grim talk as you do your homework. Then, he says: “Oh yeah, someone said something about a recommendation, right?”
“Right, I forgot about that.” You nod, finishing your homework in time. “We should check that out to watch for New Years. It’s in a few days.” You sigh, bouncing your leg.
See, unlike from where you’re from, NRC has a different curriculum, where the OFFICIAL tests come out somewhere in the 3rd and 9th month of the year, not the 6th and the 12th, so this is just cooldown time for you to kind of chill and relax.
“Right, holidays~~~ We don’t need to listen to Vargas anymore!” Grim hums cheerfully, and you nod. He’s already loud and super annoying every time he meets a slightly muscular kid, but add THAT with him rambling about safety protocols? Nah, man, ya can’t.
"Ah yes, the holidays where everyone goes home and leaves us here to wail and stay all alone with nobody- I mean I got you but you know- nobody and probably have to clean the school.” You take a deep breath. “Lovely.”
"That annoying guy is going to do something like that...” Grim complains, rolling over to flop on your stomach. “I don’t wanna!”
“Same...” You reply lazily, fist bumping Grim’s paw. “Hahah... hah...”
Despite your complaining, you feel a little giddy. I mean, come on, you get the FUCK around the school, all day by yourselves! What’s not to love about that? And the series is sure to keep you entertained.
Flashback end.
‘That was a terrible, terrible thing to think about.’ You thought blearily, thoughts swirling around your head as Grim falls asleep on you, *heetos and dorr*tos all over your body, making you feel sticky and gross.
It’s now the actual new years, where everybody’s gone home and like you predicted, Crowley did assign you to tasks- fucking bird, so you and Grim’s ass didn’t do what he told you. Fucking hell, the school’s been functioning DAMN well without you, surely the tasks not THAT big of a deal, right?
After goofing around for a few days, you’re getting bored, so you drag your lazy self to Sam’s store (where his friends from the other side are tending it for him) and rent out a DVD- Crowley didn’t gift you a phone, unfortunately (but still fixed that old TV set??? Man’s got some weird priorities)
You bring this news to Grim, who immediately begs and whines for you to open and watch the show. So you did.
The first episode, you were intrigued, but only a little bit. The same went for the 2nd and 3rd episode. You’re about to call it a lame series when you hit... the 4th episode.
It was a wild ride of emotions and wow... that scene where Henry helps the king really brought you and Grim to tears.
You were hooked. Or in other words, you were fucked. Fucked because now, you can’t THINK of anything BUT the series, which forces you to stay at home and watch the entire god-damn thing and now its 2 days after that.
At... you blearily open your eyes and notice the cracks of light shining through the curtain. “Oh god...” At somewhere around 8 am in the morning.
“Fucking hell... I’ve gone and fucked up my sleep schedule... shit...” And for some reason, tears began running down your eyes. What the fuck? Are you THAT tired that’d you’d cry over your SLEEP SCHEDULE?
Yes. Yes, you are.
You hear a knock at the door. “Oh my fucking god.” You curse, rolling down the uneven wooden floors, wincing as you get splinters. You lethargically stand up and open the door and look up to see...
HEARTSLABYUL
Someone 5 cm taller then you- oh screw off, you’re 145 cm, its okay to be pissed, you know?
“Happy new year, prefect-” You interrupt him.
“Oh.. you’re cute!” You grin gleefully, pinching the red hair’s cheeks.
“U-unhand me at once!” The guy with red hair shouted, forcibly taking your hands away. “Or its off with your head!”
"What, you’re gonna- you’re gonna tie me up~?” You tease, punching the guy’s shoulder. “That’s kinky dude... like tone down the horny ya know...”
2 guys with red-orange hair and other with blue starts laughing loudly in the background and you laugh too.
The guy with red hair STARTS turning red- oh my fucking god, people can turn red?
“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” And a collar winds up around your neck.
“Eh????” You ask, lightly tugging at the collar. “What the fackin hell is this shit? Y’all really out here puttin’ collars and shit on people... in the middle of the day too... wow...” You mutter, slipping into a country accent.
Flash! You hear a snap of a camera and turn to look at another person with a feather duster on his head- why does he have a feather duster- you know what, its cute, and you like it. You reach up and begin petting it, effectively blocking the phone he’s holding.
“Eto, prefect? You’re kinda- woah!” You look at him with a glazy eyes from those 2 days of non stop watching.
"Are you a...” You ponder, biting your lip as you blink repeatedly. “Are you... a fuck boy?”
(“CATER’S A FUCK- CATER’S F-FUCK- AHAHAHAHA-” Ace wheezes in the background as Deuce starts laughing harder, neither of them caring that they have collars on their first day back.)
Fuck boy has a bewildered look on his face, but before you could see his reaction, another hand goes to tug you back. You look up and... is that... is that lettuce, you see? No no way, it... it kinda looks like broccoli, though..
“Let’s get you to bed, prefect.” The broccoli tells you firmly, but like hell are you listening to a broccoli! Fuck man, you got higher standards then that, come on!
“No! I’m not listening to a broccoli!” You duck, effectively pulling out of his grasp and ran inside to wherever room you’re in and slam it shut. “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING ME, BROCCOLI MAN!!!”
(”Bro---brocoll-” This time, it’s Deuce’s time to collectively pound weakly at the dirt, one hand holding onto Ace’s shoulder as he looses it.)
Eventually, you slump on the ground and slowly... you don’t hear the brocolli’s voice anymore.. which is good (but like, why does his voice sound so... sexy??? Like, why??? It doesn’t make any... sense...)
---
Ace and Deuce finish from their laughing stock, having to hold on to the third years to get up from their position. “We’ll go check on the prefect.” Deuce tried to say, a snort or two making its way to the sentence.
“HAH- KINKY- KINKY FUCK BOY BROCCOLI--- AHAHAHAHAHA-” Ace was still loosing it as he walked inside, a tear streaking down his face. “I love the prefect so fucking much.”
Laughter bubbles up against Deuce’s throat as he walks in. “F...Fuck...boy...”
“W-where is the prefect, anyway?” They immediately see you, slumped against the hallway, snoozing away. With their strong powers, they gently lift and place you on the sofa, amidst all the gunk and shit that’s piled up.
“Ew, what were they even doing?” Ace cringes, looking at the mess. “It smells like shit.”
“They’re watching ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’- oh.” Deuce nods, in extreme understanding. He too, has pulled all-nighters with his gang to watch this series... oh how they cried like mad.
“Oh, that show... it’s bad. I don’t like it.”
“What?!” Deuce swiftly turns around. “But its really good!”
“No, it’s not, what? You got some poor taste, Juice.”
“It’s Deuce, not Juice! And you’re the one with poor taste!”
They bicker all the way, until they’re lovingly threatened by Riddle to NOT say a word, or its way more then off with your head, got it~?
SAVANACLAW
An extremely good-looking lion man- lion man, the fuck???- who lazily looks around at your dorm. Behind him is an EVEN better looking man, this one with a very fluffy tail and BEEG ears and BEEG body and my god, wow... he also sexy- like, sexier then lion man.
“Furry?” You mutter, your eyes falling onto another boy with animal-like ears and tail, except he’s shorter then the two, but his eyes seem to have more light in them.
“Happy New Year, prefect~!” He cheers on, his small tail wagging- oh that is cute oh my fuck- oh shit-
“...what the fuck? Why the fuck are there furries?” You gasp in alarm, running your hands through your hair in a frantic manner. “HAVE I MISSED A FUCKING GENERATION OF FURRIES?!”
“NONONONO NO NO NO THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY- NO-” You scream, falling onto the floor and grabbing a piece of your hair.
A shadow seems to loom over you, and you can feel something fluffy- or maybe that’s just you. “Prefect, are you okay- not like I’m worried, or anything, but...?” That line seems like something you’ve heard, but from where?
“Has the herbivore lost their mind?” Sexy lion man can be heard asking in the back, his voice quickly slipping into a yawn.
“Are ya worried, Leona?” The smaller guy teases, a ‘shi shi shi’ going past his lips.
“Tch.”
Well they seem like good friends- nice.
“I’m fine-” You look up and BAM WOAH WHAT IS THAT- SOMEONE’S PANTS AREA THING NOPE-
“I’M NOT FINE FUCKKKKKKK!” You scream back. The guy jumps back.
“Prefect, are you possessed?”
“By this stage? I might as well fucking be- HAH!” And you snort at that- it’s not even funny, you moron. “Oh, and also sexy lion man- yeah I’m talking to you, yeah you-” You point at said man. “I’m not a herbivore, okay? Like, I’m not a vegan (NO OFFENSE TO THE VEGANS OUT THERE), umm...” You slip into a dramatic accent where everything becomes more pronounced.
“I’m a fucking omnivore, and if you wanna like, insult me, please do it right. Thanks.” You pose, your hands making a heart shape, before slumping onto strong boy’s arms.
“Pfft- AHAHAHAH-” And Ruggie’s gone and lost his shit, because what’d you expect, right?
Leona looks surprised, before becoming very irritated, dragging Ruggie by the scruff/neck and walking away, leaving Jack to deal with you.
His seniors out of earshot and eyeshot, he glances at your sleeping form, which was nuzzling up to him, sighing in bliss as the warmth surrounds you.
He lets out a snicker despite his best efforts not too. Goodness, you surprise him every day.
He easily brings you inside with a princess carry, making sure to respectfully touch only your legs and you back to support you.
He glances at your sleeping form- what on earth were you doing that could keep you up so late, anyways? Oh, he finds out by passing through the living room, TV still on.
He finds your bedroom and lays you down there, not bothering to bring Grim inside- just kidding, he absolutely brings Grim in because he knows how much you love each other, but you didn’t hear that from me~
He glances at your form again and brushes some hair out of your face. The steady rise and fall of your chest eases him. Maybe he should stay here, just in case you wake up and act like THAT again and that’s something he’s sure a lot of people aren’t ready to witness.
He takes a chair and sits in front of you, once again having his eyes trained on you, seeing he has nowhere to look at.
A content smile passes your lips, and he smiles at that. What kind of dreams are you having, he wonders? (Little did he know its about him)
Wait.
If he’s waiting for you like this, isn’t that what you usually do for friends?! He stands up immediately, regretting his actions just as fast as he notices you squirm, sighing in relief as you settle back down onto your dazed state again.
“Happy New Year, prefect. Let’s make more memories together.” He mutters lowly, far too low for you to hear but somehow, you smile at just the right moment.
He leaves quickly, a red blush adorning his cheeks. No, that does NOT make him happy in the slightest! His tail isn’t wagging, his ears aren’t red, you’re lying!
Right?
Wrong.
Yeah, right.
Oh, god damn you and making him so confused!
OCTAVINELLE
An incredibly good-looking gent, with a smile on his face that doesn’t look as nice as it should. And look, he’s got a fedora! That speaks fancy~
“Happy New Year, pre-” You take the fedora and slap it onto your head, to the surprise and subsequent irritation of this man.
Or octopus. Honestly, they radiate the same vibe, so you wouldn’t know.
Then, you began doing the Orange Justice (cringe) as you hum- “Mhph, then you break it down! Down! Down! High! Down!”
“Is shrimpy-chan okay?” Oh what the fuck he’s so tall- THERE’S ANOTHER ONE YOU’RE SEEING THINGS-
“Oya oya.” HE HAS ARA-ARA ENERGY OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS- NONONONONO-
“Ara ara? Ara ara ara~ ara ARA!” You reply in kind, switching to a weird boogie as you sing offkey about a song.
“Under the sea~~~ under the sea~~ something, something, du do do do, under the sea~ under the grass, and till they fall~ ahhhh!!!” You grab the gent’s hands and drag him to you, paying very close attention to your feet as you attempt to tap dance.
The gent splutters indigation, so you leave him be and focus on your feet.
“Ne, that sounds fun!” The 1st double says, following you to dance- except he’s doing way better then you.
“Wha- how the fuck- that’s good! How the fackkkk... fuck... fucking... fucking fucking wop wop!” You giggle, trying to imitate his dance.
“Hehe, shrimpy’s funny when they’re tired!” Double 1 says, grabbing your waist as you shout in fright.
“Jade, maybe we should-”
“Let them be, Azul.”
Upon closer inspection, you realize that this ‘Jade’ has resonating vibes with Sebastian from Black Butler- wait, is this the twin cliche?! Where there’s the crazy one and the other’s the sane one?! But then again, he has that scary smile on his face... hmm, maybe that theory should be left alone.
You, still Double 1′s arms, shout: “Come on butler man! Join us!!!”
“Butler... are you referring to me?” He sounds surprised.
“Yeee! Come on dude,let’s vibeeee-” You stop mumbling and began singing again. “Oh oh, I’m a rebel just for kicks now! OWAH!!!”
“Owah~~” Double 1 joins, and Jade with a grin, joins in. “Owah~”
“...owah...” The gent also joins, albeit in a softer tone.
“What else, shrimp- eh??? They’re asleep!” Floyd pouts as he gazes at your non-moving body. “No fun.”
“Oya, maybe we should bring them back to their couch. It looks like a nice place to be.” Jade remarks, looking at the pile of chips and snacks on the floor. Floyd shruges, dropping you with a thud, but you don’t seem to wake up. Jade picks you up for Floyd and brings you to the couch.
Azul cringes at the sight of messy chips. “It’s giving me heartburn just looking at it.”
“Don’t lie, Azul. We saw you eating the same thing yesterday~” Floyd teases, a wide grin placate on his face.
“...I could’ve sworn nobody saw me! How...” Azul mumbles to himself, a red flush on his face.
“They’re asleep. We should leave them be.” Jade suggests, walking back to the group.
Azul nods. “There’s nothing I can make a deal about, anyway. And, the benevolent sea witch wouldn’t agree with that, wouldn’t she?”
"Yeah! Goodnight, shrimpy!” Still, you don’t reply, but Floyd looks happy enough since he hoists Azul up from his stand and walks out with him, princess style.
“F-floyd, put me down!”
“Nah, Jade looked really happy holding Shrimpy, so I’ll do the same to you~”
“Floyd!”
Jade walks behind them, watching as they have their fun.
Did I really look that happy? He glances back at your living room and gives a rare, sincere smile to the dimly lit room.
“Goodnight, prefect. I hope to get along with you better.” He whispers to himself, before closing the door gently behind and catching up to his brother.
SCARABIA
Sunshine??? in the form of a... homo sapient???? and a snake??? why the fuck-???
“Happy New Year, prefect! I brought you some food, a few blankets and oh!” The sunshine greets, giving you things, which you don’t have the strength to take, but nod as thanks anyways. He hands you a carpet, incredibly soft, 100% quality. “A carpet- eh, prefect?! Are you okay?!” The sunshine fusses, grabbing your cheeks in worry.
You melt, easing into the touch. “I’m okay now.” You lazily reply, giving him a slow wink. “Haha, get it? Cause- cause you’re here, and you’re the sun, and you’re cute, so like... haha? No?” You don’t let him reply as you sigh and nod, taking his hands of your cheeks. “Alright.”
The sunshine grins at your attempt. “I don’t really know what you mean, but thanks!” Oh my god he’s so cute-
“...hopefully, these things can dress up your broken- er, rustic house.” The snake replies, watching your behavior with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
You son of a bitch-
“Look, snake-man. No no no no, look at me. Watashi no eyes, you look at eyes- you see my eyes?” You stalk towards the snake, squinting at the bright sun (2 suns) as you trudge towards him. “Y-you see? Yeah, these eyes have tried their FUCKING best to fix up this dorm, so please, bro, please don’t like, mock it cuz like-- it’s really fucking hard- and you know why?!”
“Why?” The sunshine questions, just as you hope (but for some reason, the snake has backed away and is guarding the sunshine. You wonder why.)
“Lemme tell you why- lemme tell you why. So, this bird-man bitch boy I don’t fucking know, right-” The snake sort of laughs at this description as sunshine nods. “This guy, right, leaves ALL this SHIT to me- like BITCH, did you see the fucking state of this... I don’t know, um, SHACK?!” You point aggressively at the house. “Yeah man, it was SHIT! Like, there were holes, rats on the ground, and there were a insects everywhere...” Oho, snake seems to tense up at this, walking towards sunshine in a scared manner.
“The wood was rotting, it smelled like mold... the couches were moldy, the BED was moldy... it was... it was FUCKING shit mate, like the fuck?! You expect me to clean up that shit in what, like...” You bring up your fingers, not even counting. “Three fucking days? Like what the fucking hell, bitch? I’d like to- to- to know what the fuck crossed his mind, like the fuck, you know?”
“That seems hard, prefect. Do you want us to help?” The sunshine offers, but the snake interjects, saying: “Kalim (oh, so his name is Kalim, huh? Cute name for a cute guy!), how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t-”
“But it looks like they’re having a really hard time!” Kalim argues, pouting and looking at you pitifully, and you give the snake a woeful mourning face. The snake glares at you, before sighing heavily. Ah, damn, you feel kind of bad.
“Nah, it’s okay sunshine, I can handle it. Oh, by the way, have ya seen my baby?” You say nonchalantly, describing your feline friend.
“Baby?” The snake pales. “You have a baby?!”
“Prefect, why do you have a baby?” The sunshine panics too, eyes widening, forgetting the nickname you gave him.
“Yeah, I do! Wanna see-” Slump! You fall onto the ground before you can finish your sentence, leaning across the snake’s legs.
“Oh... they’re probably talking about Grim...” Jamil realizes, sighing in relief at the thought.
“Oh yeah, that’s probably it! Hehe, we think alike, Jamil!” Kalim grins, much to the chagrin of Jamil.
“Yeah, yeah, we do. Now come on-” Jamil lifts up your body, princess style and grunts. “Help me open the door.”
“Sure thing!” Kalim hums, opening the door. “What do you think they were doing, looking so tired?”
Jamil shrugs, walking inside ASAP, first giving the dorm a quick sweep with his eyes- he isn’t quite sure how to feel about the bugs you said. They pass by the living room and upon seeing the disarray, nod in understanding.
“Kalim, can you clean it while I put the prefect back in their room?” Kalim nods and gets to work, rolling up his sleeves.
Jamil smiles, nodding as he walks towards your bedroom, opening it with his foot. Surprisingly, it looks WAY cleaner then your living room- you really did stay up all night to watch whatever show was on, huh? The bed isn’t even creased.
Jamil sets you down gently, and you immediately roll to the side, sighing in comfort. He watches as the crumbs of snacks fall onto the bed, and thanks the graces that its not Kalim’s, or his bed that got the food spilled, phew.
Speaking of Kalim, how is he faring? Jamil walks back to the living room, fully expecting to see Kalim get distracted, but much to his ACTUAL surprise, the room is a quarter cleaned. The crisps are thrown in the trash bin and the blankets are folded up, albeit not neatly.
Jamil smiles, a little bit proud of Kalim. “Kalim?”
“Here. Shh, not so loud. Grim’s sleeping.” Kalim whispers back, waving from the kitchen. “I’m trying to clean the dishes, but...”
“Here, let me teach you.” And so, they two do their best to help clean the living room until it’s up to Jamil’s standard.
“I bet they’ll feel surprised when they wake up!” Kalim giggles, happy that it’s clean.
“I hope so, it’ll be a waste if we did all this and they didn’t notice.” Jamil frowns, crossing his arms, satisfied. “I’m sure they liked the gifts, Kalim?”
“Really?! I didn’t go overboard, right?!” Kalim worries, looking at Jamil in concern.
“You always do.” Was Jamil’s snide remark.
“Jamil!” Kalim pouts, and Jamil nods.
“It’s true.”
“Aww... I thought I really... aww...” Kalim shakes his head, cheering up immediately. “There’s always next time! Let’s visit Heartslabyul next, Jamil!”
“Let’s go.” And Kalim rushes out, shouting a ‘Happy New Year!’ to the dorm, despite his previous warning. Jamil says nothing, echoing his behavior as they walk out.
(And it’s true. After 14 hours or so, you wake up, walked towards the living room, and cried the SHIT out of your eyes. It really was nice to see, you know?)
DIASOMNIA
You can’t distinguish who the fuck this person is, but they’re definitely tall.
“Who the fucking hell??? Is so fucking tall?” You ask in a whisper. “Hello?”
“Don’t talk to Malleus-sama that way, human!” A guy that looks similar to a cucumber yells.
“Shut up, my guy. Oh shit, sorry I probably sound really fucking rude hah.” You snort, pinching the nose of your bridge. “Um, what can I do for you? Or something?”
“You look pale.” A softer voice comments. You turn to look at him and oh fucking HELL he looks so... soft??? Princely???
“Woah.” You breathe, grabbing his face. He quickly pushes you off, but you don’t mind. “What the fuck... Your face??? Is?? Nice???”
“Thank... you...?” He says strangely, stepping away. “Da- LIlia-sama, I think we should leave. ___ doesn’t seem to feel well.”
“Nonsense, ___’s fine. It’s probably just lack of sleep.” You let out a bark at that.
“Hah, lack of sleep. More like lack of heat!” You giggle at that- why did you giggle at that it literally makes no sense. You turn to look at this ‘Lilia’ person and holy shit, is that a d i l f ?
“...Dilf?” You mutter, stetching out your hand to touch this short emo man. “Emo???”
“What is a dlif?” Emo man’s face contorts into confusion, one that is not often seen in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that phrase...”
“Dad’s I’d Like to Fuck, because damn bro, you look- you look like you raised hot kids and set them on a frying pan do you get me, cuz like you’re also sexy? I don’t... yeah.” You nod heavily at your sentence.
Emo man and prince-looking guy’s face contorts into a grin and a horrified look respectively. Tall man seems to have the same face as prince-looking guy, while Cucumber just... freezes.
“Are y’all okay??? You know what, I don’t- I don’t have- I’m not- I’m- I’VE GOT THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS- BUTTS- BUTTS WITH THE FURRR, THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER~” You break out into a song, changing your voice to a country accent.
“SHE TOOK THE FLOOR AND GOT THE JEANS AND WENT LOW LOW LOW low low low low...” You sync in with the music, going lower to the beat until you lay your body on the ground and slowly lose sight (or blurry shapes) in front of you.
You don’t know what happens next, but you do know that someone’s riding a small cow. With big horns. And hair? With the bit of consciousness you have left, you reach up to touch the cow horns.
“Sick...” You mutter, and your hands fall slack on the small cow’s horns and you finally fall into well-deserved sleep.
EXTRA
“Lilia.”
"SEE SILVER, I TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE WOULD-”
“I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT, DAD!”
“NONE OF US DO!”
“Lilia.”
“I- I’M A DILF- I- I’M A DILF- HAH, I’M- OW OW OW... ow.. my back... oh, yes... Malleus?”
“I’m bringing the human inside.”
“Sure..- argh, ow ow ow... Silver, Sebek, come help me!”
“Yes, old man...”
“...”
“Pfft... a dilf... a dilf....” Malleus snickers at your naming choices, lighting up candles that you’ve strategically set. Once the lights are on, he can’t help but squint at the messiness of your dorm. He walks past the living room and opens your simple bedroom door, placing you on your bed. You don’t seem to be unbetrubed, but you squeezing something in the air. Ah, perhaps you’re looking for the cat?
Poof! Grim instantly nuzzles into you, and you both sign at the warm heat between you. Malleus smiles at the sight and leans closer to you, and whispers: “Happy New Year, child of man. Let’s make more memories together.” He gazes at your simple room, and his eyes falls at your bedside table. He smiles fondly at the picture on your bedside table. It’s you, Grim and him in Ramshackle’s living room, you making flower crown as you bitch on about physics, Grim agreeing and complaining as well.
He gives you a small pet on the head and disappears in neon butterflies.
“Shall we go?”
“Oh, young whisperer, you’re back. I take it ___ is back in their bedroom?”
A smile blooms on Malleus’ face. “Yes, now let’s go.”
“Dilf.. dilf...”
“I can’t... dilf... I can’t.. no...”
*
I don’t fucking know what this is
I just thought--- lilia... is a dad.... and he sexy
Synopsis: Raph saves you from ruffians one night in an alley after watching out for you for weeks without you knowing. Which leads you to getting to know the guys and becoming part of the family. But Raph keeps a distance and you don’t understand why.
Word Count: 1447
Warnings: I switched the readers pov to first person, just fyi. I thought maybe it would sound better.
I knew the moment I stepped out of Dusty Books and put my headphones on that he was watching. He was always watching. Following. Protecting. I made the mistake of asking him why once and still regret it to this day, because not only does he guard me home, but now his brothers do too.
They take turns. And now I feel like a burden to all of them, not just to him.
I know it’s Raph’s turn because the other three will actually walk with me when they can, like through the alleys- which I am no longer afraid to walk through, thanks to them- and on the subway when it’s empty. But not him. Never him.
And I still didn’t know why he would barely look at me, let alone, talk to me.
Except on movie nights. Those were my favorite nights of the week. Those were the nights I got to cuddle with him and pretend to fall asleep so he would carry me to his bed. I had hoped he would share it with me, but alas, he never did.
His brothers and Master Splinter liked me just fine. So, why didn’t he? The thought had me rushing to the subway station, the sooner I got home the sooner I would stop bothering him. I got there just in time to jump on before the doors closed. I sat down with a huff and willed the sting of tears away.
Why didn’t Raph like me? He saved my life weeks ago (definitely more than a couple of months) and is still practically a stranger!
I spent the ride deep breathing, hoping maybe I could run home before he knew I had gotten off the train. It was only a few blocks, I could do it. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be able to move on from him because, obviously, he wasn’t my biggest fan.
Would I have to stop going to the lair?
Maybe I could start texting one of the guys to make sure Raph isn’t there before heading over...except movie nights, of course. I’ll always see him on movie nights. I sighed, realizing I would have to give up on cuddling with him.
Maybe I could pretend nothing has changed on those nights?
This was going to be hard.
The train stopped and I stepped out, took an encouraging breath, and ran- holding tight to my backpack. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about anybody thinking I was crazy because, well, nobody ever got off here at this time except for me.
I felt his eyes on me the second I was visible to him on the sidewalk. I also knew- somehow- that he was furious. My headphones fell off, landing hard on my shoulders as I continued to run.
“Y/n,” he shouted.
I ignored him on the rooftops and made a sharp turn into the very alley he saved me in, almost slipping on the wet pavement. I hadn’t thought it rained that day, but maybe it had.
“Y/n!” Raph roared, sounding much closer than before.
I pushed myself faster, harder. I was almost to the end of the alley when BAM! Raph stood before me in all of his furious glory. I always thought I would be scared of a man with a temper, but I’m not. Not with Raph, at least. His fury was beautiful. His eyes shone emerald, chest heaving as he pinned me with his gaze. I stood there frozen, breathing just as heavy as he.
“What’s wrong?” He asked through clenched teeth, scrutinizing our surroundings for… something.
“Well?” He demanded, eyes raking up and down my form. I would’ve smiled if I thought he found me attractive, but I knew better. He was only looking for injuries. He did this every time I walked into the lair, toothpick between his teeth, and grunt of approval before walking away when he saw I was unharmed.
“Who’s after you?” He said once his eyes met mine once more, confident, like always.
“Nobody,” I whispered.
“Then why were you running as if someone was about to murder you!” He shouted, no longer able to keep the anger contained.
“I just...felt like running?” I answered, looking at his fascinating feet. Everything about him was fascinating. Everything.
“Come on,” he huffed out, picking me up as if I were a toddler and holding me on his side
Quickly, I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking advantage of the proximity.
“Hold on,” he told me, jumping up to climb the building to the roof.
~~~~~~~~~~~
You sprinted out of the station as if Shredder was after you himself. Raph stayed for a few seconds to wait for the idiot who scared you. Whoever he was, he would pay. When nobody came out he ran inside to find nobody there. With a growl, he ran back out to the rooftops, shouting after you as he followed you to the alley where he cut you off, chest heaving as he tried calming down from the chase.
What were you so afraid of? There had to be something that spooked you because there was no way you would be running as if your life depended on it knowing that he or his brothers were following you home.
To protect you, of course.
Definitely not to get every moment he possibly could with you.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, teeth clenched as he searched the surroundings for any danger.
“Well?” He demanded, finding nothing as he checked you for blood.
“Who’s after you?” He said, finally able to breathe when he didn’t see any outward injuries. If he had the right to strip you, he would.
If anything were to happen to you…. He mentally shook his head, ridding himself of the thought. Nothing was going to happen to you. Not while he and his brothers were around. He made them promise, even though he doubted he needed to. They loved you almost as much as he did.
“Nobody,” you whispered, your eyes watery, causing his fisted hands to clench. Had someone made you cry? He was going to kill the bastard. Nobody made you cry. Nobody.
“Then why were ya running as if someone was about ta murder ya!” Raph shouted, unable to hold back now that he knew you weren’t in danger.
“I just...felt like running?” You squeaked out, staring at the ground.
“Come on,” he breathed out, placing you on his hip. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck as if this were a normal, everyday thing he did.
“Hold on,” he said under his breath, jumping for the rooftop so he could carry you home. If you were scared or wanted to get home faster, all you had to do was ask.
All you had to do for anything from him was ask.
Raph opened your window once he got to it and watched you climb in with a quiet ‘goodnight.’ He wanted to press you for answers because there was no way he believed your lie about wanting to run. You never ran anywhere that he knew of, so why would you suddenly start running now? But you looked so weary he didn’t have the heart to ask. Besides, tomorrow was movie night. He didn’t want to leave you on bad terms. He didn’t want anything to mess with movie night. So instead, he hopped up to your roof and stayed there for the night, listening to you weep for hours until you finally fell asleep.
His heart broke at the sound.
He wanted to hold you tight and tell you everything would be okay.
He wanted to choke the bastard who did this to you.
He vowed to figure it out during movie night as he ran home with angry tears in his eyes.
“Whoa dude, what’s wrong?” Mikey asked as Raph stomped through the lair.
“Nothin’, Mikey,” he spat out before stopping in his tracks. Maybe Mikey could help him? “Actually, somethin' is wrong with Y/n.”
“Yo!” Mikey yelled out loud enough to reach every corner of the lair. “Bros! Something happened to Y/n.” Less than a minute later Raph’s three brothers and Master Splinter were waiting for an explanation.
“Yes, my son? What has happened?” Master Splinter patiently asked.
At the end of his short tale, they were all nodding in agreement to figure out what was wrong. Unfortunately none of them knew which turtle you would open up to the easiest, so they figured they would take turns. Starting with Mikey to cheer you up when he left later to walk you back to the lair.
Another try at fanfiction. I debated for a good minute about posting this because I don’t feel like it’s as good but eh. Here it is.
Halloween scare
Reader and a couple of the Mayans are coming over for Halloween fun when things start getting a little spooky!
Warnings: none? Swearing?
*
It was Halloween night and Coco, Letty, Ez and Angel were all going to your house to watch scary movies and eat popcorn all night. You had spent all day decorating. You had all the lights off. Candles lit everywhere giving off that spooky feeling. Those silly wine glasses that looked like they were being held by Skelton hands filled with everyone’s drink of choice, big orange and black bowls filled with everything to chips and dip, popcorn and candy. You literally researched every “piss your pants” scary movie known to man to make sure there were no boring ones to slip through. You were dressed in your super fuzzy and soft pumpkin pajama pants with your over sized black shirt that had a ghost on it. To say you were completely extra was an understatement but you were excited and couldn’t wait for everyone to get there.
Soon enough everyone arrived. Letty was admiring all your work and Angel laughed and shook his head.
“Y/n you really have an obsession. There’s gotta be like a Halloween anonymous for you to attend.”
You narrowed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. “Very funny Reyes. Halloween is literally the BEST holiday. We WOULD be finding haunted houses to attend but SOMEONE is a party pooper.”
You rolled your eyes at Angel who just waved you off.
“Those are lame. Not even worth the money. They aren’t even scary. I have to look at Coco every day, now that, that is scary.“
Letty shrugged. “I don’t know. Sounds kinda great to me! Being scared is fun.”
Ez laughed. “It’s alright guys. Angel is just scared he will piss his pants in front of everyone. “
Angel scoffed at his little brother as Coco laughed
“Yeah Angel. Wouldn’t wanna embarrass yourself in front of” coco nodded to you and Angel elbowed coco before he could finish his sentence and shot him a glare. You were too busy laughing and putting in the first movie to notice the little exchange though.
“Okay okay, settle down children. Let’s get this party started!!” You said excitedly as you clapped your hands together.
You sat on the end of the couch followed by Angel. Ez sat on your recliner while Letty and Coco sat on the mess of blankets and pillows you had on the floor. You turned on the first movie and the marathon began.
Three movies later as you’re engulfed in the movie the conjuring you hear a noise in your attic. You furrow your eyebrows together and pause the movie.
“Hey! What are you doing it was just getting good!” Coco shouted in frustration.
“Hush! Didn’t you hear that?” You whispered a look of worry covering your face.
Ez rolled his eyes. “Y/n, you’re just being paranoid. Calm down and watch the movie. “
Angel laughed “yeah mami quit being such a scaredy-cat!”
Letty looked at the guys “no, I heard it too! What if it’s a ghost! Or a killer?!”
Angel rolled his eyes. “Really? Three movies in and you guys are already being ridiculous. And you think you could make it through a haunted house?”
Ez laughed “look, it’s probably just the wind. It is pretty windy out tonight. Just relax. If there is anymore noises I’ll go check it out to ease your mind.”
You pout and snuggle to your blanket and replay the movie but your attention isn’t quite on the movie anymore. Your paranoia is getting to you and you realize that as soon as Letty moves to stretch and you scream because the sudden movement startles you. Everyone is looking at you and you laugh nervously.
“I think I’m gonna go get more beer. Anyone want anything?”
Letty shakes her head. “No, but I’ll go with you.”
You both walk into the kitchen as the boys continue to watch the movie coco turns his attention to Angel.
“So, Hermano, when you gonna man up and make a move on y/n?”
Angels eyes grow wide as he looks at Coco. “What are you a fucking girl? This isn’t a slumber party and we ain’t gossiping so suck a dick bro.”
Ez laughs “come on Angel why so defensive? Why not just go for it?”
“Because dumbass. She, she isn’t into me. Besides, we’re best friends. ”
Ez rolled his eyes “oh quit being a pussy and ask her. You aren’t scared of ghost and goblins but when it comes to a y/h spunky girl, you freeze up. “
Ez and coco laugh as Angel stares daggers at them as y/n walks back into the room.
“What’s so funny you stooges?”
Ez smiles and shakes his head “not a thing mami, not a thing. “
Coco looks around and furrows his brow. “Where’s Letty?”
You look around and shrug. “I don’t know. I thought she came back out here. Maybe she went to the bathroom?”
Right then you all heard a loud scream. Coco jumped up and ran to the back the three of you following close behind him as you start flipping on all the lights.
“She’s probably trying to scare y/n” Ez says trying to relax everyone.
“Letty, leticia! Where are you?” Coco yelled
“Come on Letty this shit ain’t funny” y/n yelled.
The lights start to flicker until they completely shut off. Everything goes quiet for a few moments as the lights turn back on. Angel looks around making sure he sees you first a sigh of relief seeing you’re safe. You smile and grab his hand you look at Coco and grab his hand next holding on tight as if they’re going to disappear.
“Where’s Ez?” You ask.
Angel looks around “EZ? Letty? Yo quit playing your stupid game. It’s getting old and I wanna finish the movie.”
Y/n whispers “you really think they are just playing a prank??”
Angel nods “pff yeah. All that talk about haunted houses not being scary. Probably just trying to pull a fast one. The shit is stupid.”
Coco nods. “Yeah, well shit ain’t funny no more. Leticia get your fucking ass out here or you’re grounded.”
Y/n raises an eyebrow at Coco, trying not to laugh at his attempt at fatherly demands.
“Grounded?” Angel asks the humor in his voice clear as day. “She would beat your ass before she let you ground her papi coco”
Y/n laughed but quickly recovered as Coco glared at the two of you.
“Aye she knows I ain’t playing. We got a mutual respect of things. And making me think a ghost fuckin snatched her ass is grounds for grounding.”
Coco went to go say something else as the lights went off again this time you hear glass shatter and felt Coco’s hand being snatched out of yours as he starts yelling.
“Aye get the fuck off me. I ain’t the one Im gon’ fuck you up. “
“COCO!” Y/n yells
It’s quiet now. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking as you wait for the lights to come on and you hear Angel sigh.
“So he’s in on it to? Come on guys. You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”
You’re shaking at this point as you’re holding on to Angel. “I don’t think this is a joke, Angel. I’m scared.”
Angels heart races as you hold him tightly and he wraps his arms back around you.
“It’s okay y/n. I gotchu. They’re just trying to pull a Halloween prank. ”
The lights come back on as you look around. The crashing noise had been a vase and Coco was no where to be seen. Angel was getting annoyed.
“Alright shit heads games over. Come out.”
The lights flickered again your grip tightened on Angel and there was a noise behind you. You both turn around as the lights flicker there is a figure at the end of the hall. It’s black shape and white face staring back at you. It slowly raises its hand Pointing toward the two of you.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. Bravo guys. “
Angel speaks out to the figure and the lights turn out again. You hold your breath as you hear the floor creak. Gripping on to Angel so tight your hand start to hurt. You can swear the creaking gets louder and closer until... it stops. the air is thick and you can swear you hear angels heart rate quicken. A few seconds feels like hours until.. the light pops on and BAM the figure is right there you scream as it grabs ahold of you and drags you back like it’s simply floating quickly across the floor. Angels eyes go wide
“ y/n!!! NO! LET HER GO YOU SON OF A BITCH”
“ANGEL! HELP ME.” You scream. Desperate to get out of the grips of whatever has a hold of you.
Angel takes off running as the lights turn off again. He stops, breathing heavily. Continuing to slowly walk forward.
“Y/n where are you??” His voice is shaky.
He hears something behind him and he turns around quickly trying to see through the darkness. “Y/!n? Coco? Letty? Ez?”
He continues to walk until he feels like he hits a brick wall. He stops, swallows hard and looks up just in time for the lights to come on. He backs up to take in the full picture. A big man in butcher like clothes with blood all over them. A face that looks like it has been cut and rotted? Glossed over eyes, almost zombie like... but zombies aren’t real..are they?
His mind is spazzing as he finally looks down seeing him drag something by their hair, no not something, someone, Letty. He screams and goes to turn around and he turns right into three people in white masks and he stops and drops to his knees screaming so high pitched it might have been mistaken for a girl. Falling to his knees he covers his eyes waiting for his demise but instead he is met with.. laughter? He peeks up seeing coco, you and Ez take off the masks. He turns around seeing Letty getting up laughing. The guy in butchers clothing peeling back the latex on his face revealing Gilly as the culprit. Everyone is laughing except Angel. He slowly stands up and his once scared face is now annoyed as he starts walking toward your back door. You stop laughing “oh no, did we go too far?”
Coco laughed again. “Nah. He will be okay. Just mad cause we got the best of him. “
Ez wiped the tears from his eyes caused from his laughter “yeah, don’t worry about him.” He turned to Gilly, “thanks for the help man, he definitely didn’t expect that. “
Gilly laughed “I’m happy to help. How did you all get it to look like y/n got pulled down the hallway?”
As Coco explained that they had Letty get dressed and put a belt and rope around her and had her stand on a old skateboard so ez and coco could roll her back one they grabbed you, you made you way to the back yard where Angel was out smoking a cigarette.
“Hey” your voice was quiet as you walked up to him. “Don’t be mad at them. It was my idea. I didn’t think you’d get upset.
Angel rolled his eyes. “Upset? How would I not be upset at the thought of the love of my life being taken away and possibly killed?” Angel stopped talking as his cheeks for red as he realized what he just said. You eyes grew wide as his words sank in.
“What? What did you say?” You looked at up him. Angel just stared at the ground and sighed.
“Look, I’m in love with you y/n. I have been for awhile and I didn’t know how to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin anything and I didn’t want ruin what we did have because I can’t stand the thought of you not in my life.”
Y/n is now smiling at his rambling and shuts him up by slamming her body to his and kissing him fast and hard. Angel wraps his arms around you and kisses you back urgently. Feeling intoxicated by your taste. You finally pull back to catch your breath with a smile on your lips.
“Angel Reyes, you sir are an idiot. If I knew all it took was someone trying to kidnap me to get you to tell me I would have done this a long time ago. I love you, too. I was just waiting for you to grow a pair and come claim me. “
Angel smiled at that and pulled you closer. “Well consider yourself claimed mi amor. You are mine forever now.”
You both smiled kissing each other again as you could hear shouting and “finally’s” coming from the house.
“It’s about damn time. Now , get your asses in here so we can finish this movie.” Letty explained as you and Angel laughed following her inside to continue your movie night. Halloween is always amazing for you, but this will always be your favorite.
Erik walks in on his homeboys sister stepping out of the shower and she is embarrassed/ has a huge crush on him.
Warnings: Smut. Flash back.
Micheal and Yara.
Two siblings from Oakland who decided to get an apartment near Telegraph Ave so that Yara could study at Berkeley. Yara is currently studying Art History there and she will be graduating in May at the age of 21. Micheal, her older brother, is into graphic design and web development so he works for a small company creating websites for Architectural businesses. He also does free lance work on the side to earn extra cash so he can afford living in their expensive apartment. Micheal and Yara’s parents are divorced. Their father lives in San Francisco city and their mother lives where Micheal and Yara are with her new husband in Alameda County. Yara used to live with her mother but she didn’t get along with her step father. Micheal brought up the idea of sharing an apartment to Yara since his on-again, off-again girlfriend, Evette decided that she didn’t want to move in with him.
Currently, Micheal and Evette are arguing about Micheal's whereabouts last Friday evening. Yara was trying to take a nap in her room before her late shift at 9:00 PM as a bar tender. Tossing and turning in her bed covered in fluffy white sheets, Yara groaned loudly before throwing her sheets back, temples pounding with a tension headache that Yara tries to sooth by massaging them but it doesn’t work. Only in a Metallica T-shirt, Yara grabs a pair of Champions sweatpants from her dresser, sliding her feet in her canary yellow UGG slippers, and walking out of her bedroom. Yara’s eardrums damn near bust when she stepped into the hallway of the apartment. Rubbing the cold from her eyes, Yara walked out into the living room area coming face to face with the source of the commotion.
“STOP LYING!” Evette, Short, petite, reminded Yara of Keyshia Cole because of her bright red hair and nose piercing, tossed a decorative pillow at Micheal from across the room. Micheal caught it with his quick reflexes before placing it back on the couch. He didn’t appear bothered at all by Evette’s screaming and hollering.
“Evette, I ain’t got nothing to lie about. I told you, I was with my boy, Erik. He’s back in town for a little while before he goes back to the Military,” Micheal spoke with a flat tone, eyes bored.
“I don’t believe you. I think you were with some girl. I think you’re out here sticking your dick in some other bitch. When I find out, I’m beating both of yall ass, for real,” Evette threatens Micheal with one of her long acrylic hot pink nails almost jabbing him in the eye.
“This ain’t the first time you accused me of cheating,” Micheal ran his hands down his face, “It’s really getting on my nerves, Evette. The constant trying to go through my phone, picking fights with me, the insecurities. What do I have to lie about? I could have dropped you years ago but no, I care about you too much to do that. Now, I’m just tired of you acting like a damn child.”
“Ahem,” Yara clears her throat.
Micheal and Evette turn towards her.
“Do y’all mind taking this shit somewhere else? I have to work tonight and I can’t sleep with all this yelling.”
“Hi to you too, Yara,” Evette spoke sarcastically.
“Bitch, don’t give me attitude. Do you pay the bills in here?” Yara has her fists balled up like she was ready to hit Evette. Evette simply laughs, staring at Yara like she’s a joke before turning her attention back to Micheal.
“My bad, little sis, Evette was just leaving-“
“WHAT?” Evette’s voice grew loud again.
“You heard me. Bounce. If you don’t trust me I can’t deal with you, Evette.”
Evette folds her arms across her perky chest, “Do you actually mean it this time around or will you be calling me tomorrow night asking to come over? you are famous for that shit, Mike.”
Micheal groans, “I don’t know right now. All I know is I need you to leave so I can clear my head, you know what I’m saying?”
“Okay, clear your head, GOTCHA,” Evette turns around, practically stomping to the door, “Lying ass piece of shit.”
“Don’t slam the door either!”Micheal yells.
BAM!
“Yeah,” Micheal closes his eyes to calm himself.
“You’re better than me. I feel like following her and kicking that bitch down the steps. You need to drop her, Mike. Do you even see what’s going on?”
“Nah, baby sis, tell me what’s up? What am I NOT seeing?”
Yara tilted her head at Micheal with sad eyes. Micheal shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t understand what Yara was trying to tell him without using words.
“You can be so damn thick-headed sometimes,” Yara threw her hands up matter-of-factually, “Evette is cheating on you, Mike. She’s just trying to give you a reason to end things so she can continue fucking whoever she is fucking without you knowing.”
“Wait...what?” Micheal says with disbelief.
“You’re Girl? The love of your life? She’s fucking someone else, Mike.”
Micheal blinked at Yara with bewildered eyes.
“Listen, fool, while you’re sitting there stuck on stupid, Evette is driving to a dick appointment trying to think of a plan B to get rid of yo’ ass. Just end it with her. The shit is toxic. I don’t even want a nigga to step into my personal space after witnessing the shit you and Evette go through.”
“If Evette is cheating on me...” Micheal didn’t finish his sentence but Yara knew her brother would bring hell to earth if he caught Evette fucking another man. As much as they bickered and broke up, Evette was her brothers first real love. He wouldn’t admit it, but Micheal would be heart broken.
“Then I’m going to whip her ass,” Yara said in her brothers defense, “Nobody fucks with my bro like that.”
“I’ll let you beat her ass too.”
Yara kisses her brothers forehead, “I’m going to go back in bed, I am so exhausted with school- hold up, did you say that you were with Erik?”
“Yeah,” Micheal said whole scrolling through his phone, “He’s back for a little while.”
“I haven’t seen Erik in, like, three years?”
“Yeah, it’s been a long ass time. I thought he forgot about us,” Micheal laughs, “He’ll be here later if you want to catch him before you go to work.”
“Mama was asking about him a few days ago,” Yara says recalling the conversation they both had when she went to visit her. Micheal and Yara’s mother always pulled the photo albums out whenever they came to see her. The photo album she brought out when Yara came over was Micheal’s prom photos. Micheal and Erik went to prom together their senior year.
“Look at Erik! Wasn’t he so skinny?!” Yara’s mama says.
“Yeah, mama, he was swimming in his suit.”
Yara’s eyes twinkled when she stared at Erik’s photo. Her first ever crush. The guy she kissed on a whim when she was 18 and he was 24. Yara felt so embarrassed. Erik simply gave her a kind smile, hugging her tightly. She felt like a silly child. Erik was a grown man. Ever since then, Yara hadn’t seen Erik.
“You Aight?” Micheal looked over at Yara with a smirk.
“I’m fine.”
Yara couldn’t stop thinking about her brothers friend who used to spend the night when they were kids. His friend who wore only a pair of basketball shorts when he slept. His friend who used to stand in Yara’s doorway to her bedroom teasing her.
“You’re not lying to me, are you?”
“No, I’m not,” Yara looked off to the side.
“When you look away like that it’s a sign that you’re lying. You ain’t gotta tell me, it’s probably some nasty shit that I really don’t want to know anyway.”
“Shut up, Mike,” Yara rolls her eyes, turning away to walk back to her room with her middle finger raised behind her, directed towards her brother.
——————
A few hours later:
Erik Stevens stepped off of the elevator within Micheal and Yara’s apartment building on Telegraph Ave. kinky fro freshly shaped up and a new fit and shoes on his feet, Erik checked his text message from Micheal that informed him of what apartment it is.
“9C,” Erik places his phone back inside of his jacket pocket, eyes searching from left to right before spotting the crisp white door with a bronze letter C on it and a tiny peep hole. Erik knocks, the gold Piaget watch on his right wrist making a loud tapping sound against the surface of the door. In under two seconds, Micheal opens the door, a broad smile on his handsome chocolate face when he noticed who it was.
“What’s up, cuz?” Micheal gave Erik dabs, “I ain’t expect you to be over this early, bruh, you good?”
“I’m good, I just needed to get away from CeCe. You know she offered for me to stay at her new place instead of a hotel.”
“You know you have to tell me about all of that, right?” Micheal jokes, holding his door open further for Erik to enter. Erik steps inside, his eyes admiring the urban styled apartment. It was Boho vintage with different shades of browns, greens, and reds. The living room was decorated and furnished with cream colored walls, Urban photographs of Oakland, cactus plants, a standout leather sofa set in a dessert brown color accompanied with khaki colored patch work leather ottomans and an elegantly modern coffee table featuring a round metal tabletop in a brushed, antique brass finish. 60 inch flat screen TV, an acacia wood credenza that Erik was sure is filled with old 70s and 80s records.
“Shit, let me take my shoes off, I don’t want to mess up this nice carpet,” Erik kicks his shoes off near the front door.
“You can put them in that shoe rack right there if you want. Yara got that from the thrift store about a week ago.”
Erik looks up at Micheal with expectant eyes, “Little Yara? She lives with you? what happened with Evette?”
“Long story, bro, Yara and I decided to get a place together close to Berkeley and I work for that new company I was telling you about last weekend so we can commute easier. Plus, you know moms live near us too.”
“Yeah, yeah. So, what is little Yara studying at Berkeley?”
Micheal smiles like a proud older brother, “Art History. She wants to become a Curator.”
“I’ve always seen her working in a museum. She loves history so much,” Erik reminisced with a slight smirk, “Is she here?”
“Straight back there-Wait.”
Erik was ready to rush back to see her.
“Let me see if she’s decent. She gotta work in about a few hours.”
“No problem, bruh, I’ll chill out here.”
Erik watches Micheal walk to the back of the apartment where the rooms are. Taking a seat on the leather couch, Erik strokes his beard, thinking about Yara. He hadn’t seen her in three years. He wondered how different she looked. By different he meant mature and filled out like a women. Back when she was just 18 years of age, Yara was so petite and athletic since she played Lacrosse, braces on her teeth, and so sweet and innocent. From what Micheal told Erik last weekend when they went out to a Hookah bar for Boys night, Yara gained weight. Micheal joked about it, typical sibling teasing, but Erik wished he could have seen a picture. Now, his mind went back to when Yara kissed him the night of her graduation party before Erik left to start his JSOC training. He honestly didn’t know how to respond. Yara looked like her world came crashing down when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings. She was much younger than him, Erik has her by six years. She was 18 and he was 24. Yeah, Yara was legal but it still felt weird. He always knew little Yara had a crush on him and he surely didn’t want Micheal to know about it.
“She’s still asleep,” Micheal walked back out with a generous bag filled with an eighth of top-shelf weed, “You want to smoke a blunt and tell me about this bitch named CeCe?”
———————
Yara. Don’t forget. The history project is due tomorrow night. Since you’re group lead, you have to submit it.
Yara rolls her eyes at the group chat she was in with her fellow History classmates. That assignment was the last thing on her damn mind. Yara closes her Mac, stretching her curvy body out like a cat before getting up from her comfy bed. Like a strong wind, the smell of kush hit her nose. Yara noticed that her bedroom door is cracked. Micheal must have come to check on her. Yara slips on a pair of Champion Reverse Weave drawstring shorts that were folded on the end of her bed in a pink color, bed hair and all, walking out of her room and towards the living room. When she entered the hallway, two male voices could be heard. It finally dawned on Yara who the other male present could be.
Erik.
Yara walks to the bathroom, deciding to wipe her face off and brush her teeth. She still needed to shower but that could wait until she ate something. Admiring her hair, Yara reaches up to pull her hair tie from her curly hair, fluffing it out and shaking her head so it wouldn’t look like she just rolled out of bed. Yara then brushes her teeth, using her water closer afterwards. Satisfied, Yara takes in a deep breath to try and calm the butterflies in her stomach before walking out of the bathroom and towards the living room area.
“So, you’re telling me that CeCe is trying to hook you up with someone? why are you there?”
“You know she likes playing match made in heaven. CeCe is cool, Mike, I know me and her used to fuck around before I left but it ain’t even like that now. Just a friend helping out a friend. No big thing.”
Micheal chuckles, “E, I know you, man. You had all that pussy around you to play with and you ain’t have a taste? Nigga-“
“Like I said, nah. I don’t want that anymore or her friend she’s trying to get me with. Her friend just wants to know how the dick CeCe used to get is really about. You can look at me like that all you want. Everything is temporary. I’m shopping for a house right now-“
“You can just sleep on our couch-“
“I’m too big for this fucking couch,” Erik laughs, “Once my house is built from the ground up, you’ll see that it was all worth it. And you know I can’t stay with our other friends they gon’ get me caught up and I don’t need to be in jail.”
Erik takes a puff of weed before handing it over to Mike.
Micheal accepts the weed, instantly smoking it before letting the smoke out from his nose, “You’re a changed man, E. Got a house in the works, left the hood to pursue your dreams of being this J.I Joe motherfucker,” Erik playfully jabs Micheal in his ribs, “Seeiously, man, I’m proud of you. Wait until Yara sees you, bruh.”
Erik licks his lips before raising a single brow, “What you mean by that?
“She ain’t gonna believe this the same Erik from three years ago. What you do? Get inside of the same machine as Captain America?”
“Funny, nigga.”
Yara didn’t reveal herself just yet. She just wanted to hear him talk. Erik’s voice definitely appeared deeper. Raspy, then husky, then deep and gruff. When he genuinely laughed it was still just as light as before. Yara peeked out into the living room. A tiny gasp escaped her mouth. Kinky fro, muscles, facial hair, and tiny scars on his arms is what she noticed first. Micheal was right, this was Erik 2.0. Then, whenever he talked; those lush lips moving, Yara saw gold canines in his mouth. He looked so rough and scruffy. The Military definitely made him harder.
“Yara, stop being nosy!” Micheal yells. Yara almost jumped where she stood. She was so in tune with her thoughts that she hadn’t realized how close she’d gotten into the living room.
“Shut up Mike!” Yara fired back. With nervous eyes, Yara looked over at Erik. He didn’t speak, all he did was look fixedly at her with his eyes wide open. It was as if time stood still and she was the only thing that mattered in that room. Even the weed in Erik’s hand could burn to ash.
“Hi, Erik,” Yara couldn’t stop herself from grinning when Erik smiled at her with his dimples.
“Little Yara, what’s going on girl!” Erik hands Micheal the blunt back before standing from the couch, walking over to Yara with his arms outstretched for her to give him a big hug. Yara walks up to Erik, giggling nervously before bringing her arms around his waist, squeezing him. Erik rocked Yara back and forth while his chin rested on top of her curly head. Erik then brings his lips down to kiss Yara’s forehead before pulling her away to get a good look at her.
Heart shaped face, dimple in her chin, glittering eyes fringed with long eyelashes that reminded him of maple syrup, silken skin like cinnamon, ebony ringlets that made her thick but arched brows pop, lips full and glossy with a prominent Cupid’s bow. Erik’s eyes burned with desire when he gazed at Yara’s voluptuous, curvy, ample, and generous body. She really filled out from the last time he saw her. Mike can joke all he wants but Yara looked...
Erik covered his eyes with his hands, a suppressed laugh escaping his mouth before he opened his arms wide for her to hug him again. Yara giggles, stepping back into his embrace again to accept his hug. He smelled like patchouli. Tall, brawny, chiseled, broad-shouldered, and hulking, Yara couldn’t get over how comfortable she felt within Erik’s embrace. The deep baritone of his voice made her shiver.
“Look at you girl, all grown up. Crazy how that happened in three years, right?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Yara turned her face away timidly, “So, how is the Military treating you? I mean...” Yara looks Erik up and down with a shake of her head, “It seems like it’s treating you nice. Go hard or go home, right?
“Treating me like I’m a piece of shit but it’s worth it,” Erik laughs, “The Military transformed me.”
Yes it did
“You do look great, I almost didn’t recognize you sitting on that couch. The hair, the muscles, the scars...”
Yara looked at them, her hand extending out suddenly to touch a row of scars that looked freshly raised against his skin.
“Don’t.”
Yara jolted upright, her hand jerking away. His voice and the look he gave her had her shrank in front of him.
“Shit, my bad, girl. You don’t want to touch these. Bad memories. That’s all, little Yara, I’m sorry.”
“It’s...it’s okay,” Yara steps away, shifting from one foot to the other, “Good to see you though, Erik.”
“You too, girl,” Erik scratched his beard before reluctantly turning away from Yara to take his seat next to Micheal on the couch. Yara watched him walk away while tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. The way they greeted eachother felt so different. Erik wasn’t only physically changed, He’s mentally changed too.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” Micheal stretched his slender tattoo covered arms above his head.
“Yeah, but I’m hungry so,” Yara rubbed her hands on her thighs to get rid of the sweat before walking away and into the kitchen. Yara finally exhaled when she entered the kitchen after holding her breath while walking past Erik. The kitchen was open and you could peek into the living room. Erik was sitting directly across from Micheal staring straight ahead at Yara while smoking his blunt. He tilted his head at her while half listening to Micheal talk about Evette. Yara turned her face away, grabbing a loaf of wheat bread from the counter to make herself a PB&J sandwich.
“Little sis, what you cooking up in there?”
“Nothing for you,” Yara spread strawberry jam on her bread, “Why don’t you order in?”
“I was thinking about it, E, I’ma make a liquor run real quick, you want anything?”
“I got some good stuff in the car I can grab, you aint gon’ drink it so don’t even ask.”
“Yeah, I like my own shit,” Micheal stood from the couch, walking towards the back of the apartment to his room. It was silent minus the low TV and Yara washing the butter knife she used to make her sandwich. Erik leaned back into the leather couch, crossing his arms over his solid chest. He watched Yara walk over to the trash can to toss a paper towel in the trash that she most likely used to clean up crumbs or spilled jam. Erik has a great view of Yara’s thick ass bending over, her drawstring shorts raising up her thighs and getting caught between her ass cheeks. Such a beautiful sight has Erik’s brows knitted as he gave her a once-over. At that particular moment, Yara looked back at him as if she could feel his eyes boring into her.
“Hi.” She spoke in a trembling tone.
“Hi, back,” Erik says suggestively.
“Did Mike leave yet?”
“Nah-“
“Aight, I’ll be back, y’all good? Need anything?” Micheal was back with a hoodie on, a dad cap, and a pair of vans on his feet.
“Can you stop by that corner market that sells those organic fruits? I want some mangos.” Yara yelled from the kitchen.
Micheal grabbed the door knob, pausing, “I’m making a liquor run too.”
“Oh! I want some Hypnotiq.”
“Cool, you, E?”
“We can order in when you get back, I’m good.”
“Bet, I’ll be back.”
Micheal exits.
“Mike still just as skinny as he was since the last time I saw him” Erik laughs.
“Yeah, he can eat but it goes nowhere. Me, I gained all the weight in the world.”
Erik gave Yara a dismissive wave of his hand, “Girl, you look good. Ain’t nothing wrong with the weight you put on.”
Yara giggles, popping a green grape in her mouth, “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Erik craned his neck to try and see her, “Why don’t you come in here and eat. Over there hiding and shit from a nigga.”
“Okay,” Yara got up from the dining room table, walking through the kitchen and entering the living room. She decided to sit her plump bottom on the floor while using one of the leather ottomans as a surface for her grapes and half eaten sandwich.
“So, how have you been?” Erik asked while rolling a new blunt.
“I’ve been doing just fine. Ready to graduate honestly.” Yara nervously rubbed her shoulder before gazing at Erik, “You?”
“Busy, busy, busy,” Erik’s onyx eyes landed on hers before looking back at his blunt, “Just traveling, training, that’s about it.”
“Oh,” Yara massaged the back of her neck, “Does those scars have anything to do with it?”
“That’s because they’re not.” Erik spoke in a flat tone.
“Let me just, stop asking,” Yara laughs awkwardly.
Erik chuckles, “It’s not a subject I rather talk about with you, Little Yara.”
“I understand. I won’t pry.”
“Cool,” Erik takes a hit of his blunt, cheeks blowing out as they filled with smoke, “Seeing anybody?”
“Nope. I haven’t for the past three months. Been trying to stay focused. Men are a distraction.”
“Y’all women are too,” Erik laughs, smoke escaping his nose.
Yara cocked her head, “So, my guess is you aren’t seeing anyone either.”
Erik licks his lips, “I don’t have time for that.”
“Does that include sex too?”
Erik clapped his hands together while chuckling, “Ahhhh, shit, Yara, did you just ask me about my sex life? Are you having sexxxxxxx?!
“I did. And I’m grown, ERIK, so yes, I’m having sex,” Yara gave a half shrug while rolling her eyes.
“21, right? I remember when I was 21. Legally can drink now and everything. Too bad you still can’t hang with us,” Erik chuckles.
Yara gave Erik the finger, “fuck you, don’t play with me like that.”
“I’m just saying, I remember you graduating high school the last time I saw you. Now you’re in your 20s, barely.”
Yara lowered her head, “Will you always remember me like that? Like DAMN, I did grow up, nigga.”
Erik noticed the attitude in her voice, “You’re mad at me?”
“Just annoyed,” Yara stood up, grabbing her food, “I’m gonna eat in my room so I can look over this project I have to submit tomorrow. I’ll see you later, Erik.”
Confused, Erik watched Yara practically storm away. He didn’t understand why his words offended her so much. It’s just what Erik is used to. He’s used to seeing Yara so young not a 21 year old adult. It was all still so new to him. Deciding not to chase after her, Erik gets up from the couch to retrieve his shoes so he could grab his drink from his car.
———————
Yara couldn’t even focus.
She was really bothered by Erik’s comments.
It was mainly because every time he cracked jokes she thought about her kissing him. He probably cracked jokes about that too. Clearly, Erik couldn’t look past the fact that Yara is Mike’s little sis. She really thought he was past that when he first laid eyes on her. She could tell what a look of lust was in a man’s eyes since Yara often receives that look. Erik’s eyes were gleaming with desire and attraction. He almost looked shocked that it was Yara. Then, the way he looked her up and down. His eyes damn near gaped when she noticed him staring while she was in the kitchen. Pupils flared and all. Now, it was as if he was trying to hide the attraction he has towards her after three years. Yara was disappointed honestly. She always thought the next time she ever saw Erik they would honestly re-do that kiss and possibly have sex. If Yara had the choice to go back and lose her virginity it would have been with Erik.
Glancing at her phone, Yara noticed it was around 7:45 PM. Luckily, the bar she worked at wasn’t too far from her. Yara didn’t drive so she usually walked or caught an Uber. Lifting from her soft and fluffy floor cushion, Yara grabs her white cotton towel and soap sponge to take a shower. Leaving her room, she could hear Erik watching a basketball game. Yara closes her bedroom door, walking across to the bathroom, closing the door behind her softly. She began to undress, stripping her clothes from her body into a wrinkled pile on the floor near the sink. Opening the medicine cabinet, Yara grabs her Dove sensitive skin body wash and exfoliating spin brush. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Erik being in the living room right now while she was naked in the bathroom. There was no way Yara could ignore the growing dampness between her legs. She hadn’t been wet to the thought of Erik in a very long time.
Luke warm water running, Yara pulled the tribal patterned shower curtain back, stepping inside carefully not to slip on the the shower mat, then closing the curtain behind her. Yara forgot to pin her hair up but she needed to wash her hair anyway so she allowed it to grow wet while she wet her body completely. Grabbing her exfoliating brush and the body wash, Yara applied the body wash to her curvy body, turning on her brush and in a circular motion, began to cleanse her skin from the neck down. She had a separate skin care routine and a spin brush for that as well. Yara lifts her leg on the side of the tub to wash behind her thighs, the warm water running down her ass and to her pussy. Yara felt extra tingly between her legs. She didn’t have time to rub off in the shower and she forgot her favorite vibrator in her bed room. Groaning, Yara tried to ignore it as best as she could while scrubbing the top of her feet.
————————
Erik sat cross-faded with his eyes sitting low. The basketball game was just background noise for him. Bored out of his mind, Erik really wanted to go and talk to Yara. He didn’t want to approach her on some awkward shit but at the same time he missed talking to her. Erik remembers how he used to talk and goof off with Yara from her doorway when they were younger. Micheal is very long-winded and sitting on the couch will eventually lead to Erik falling asleep. Erik leans forward on his elbow to peek down the hall where Yara’s bedroom is located. The hall was brightly lit from the light and he couldn’t tell which room was hers exactly. All the damn doors looked the same.
“Fuck it,” Erik places his phone on the coffee table, rising from the couch and making his way down the hall. Hands in his pockets, Erik approaches the first door. He knocks, no sound, twisting the knob and opening the door. It was Mikes room. Erik closes the door, walking further down the hall and approaching a door to his right. The light was on, he could tell from the glow beneath the door. Erik knocks, no sound. He grabs the brass knob, twisting it, then opening. Standing there, Erik’s chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. His mouth hung open and his eyes went round as if they were about to fall out of their sockets. He gawked at the sight of Yara before him. A sight he never imagined in a million years he would see up until now.
Yara was arched over the bathtub with her ass pointed straight out at Erik. Erik could smell cleaning products; Fabuloso from what it smelled like. The water in the tub was on full blast as Yara cleaned the porcelain. Her body was still wet and she had a T-shirt wrapped around her hair. Yara’s ass jiggled each time she scrubbed the tub out. She wasn’t aware of his presence. Erik was so stunned by her naked body and the fact that he walked in on her that he couldn’t even speak.
Too late.
Yara lifts her body up, turning to place the scrub brush on the floor near the tub, her eyes catching Erik standing within the entrance to the bathroom. Yara felt as if her heart was leaving her body. Shell-shocked almost. Now, her breasts were revealed to him. Large, big brown areolas and nipples soaking wet and dripping, curvy waistline glistening with water down to her waxed mound and thighs. Pretty toes painted white with a tattoo of a rose on her left foot. Yara looked appetizing. Yara bit her lip bashfully, eyes glossy as if she wanted to cry from embarrassment, her hands reaching out to the toilet to grab her folded towel. Yara presses her lips together to try and stop her lower lip from trembling and eyes her looked heavenward.
Yara spoke with a shaky voice, “I-Why didn’t you knock? Erik?”
Erik didn’t respond. His eyes were ablaze staring straight at her face. He felt turned on but at the same time he felt guilty. Luckily, Yara couldn’t see how fat and long his dick had gotten within his jeans. She couldn’t hear him, maybe he should have knocked harder. Yara’s hands were shaking and she couldn’t meet his eyes. She was overly embarrassed and not at all prepared. Yara crosses her thighs, pressing the towel further into her chest.
“...I knocked. I should have knocked again. Shit, Yara, I’m sorry-“
“Just-it’s cool,” Yara sized Erik up before rolling her eyes, “Can’t go back now, yeah?”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Yara,” Erik felt like shit, “I’m so so so sorry, Yara.”
“Erik, stop with the apologizing,” Yara drew in a long breath.
“I’m just gonna go,” Erik turns away, walking out of the bathroom. Yara stayed rooted to the spot, her hand pressing further into her chest to calm her rapid heart beat. As always whenever Yara felt embarrassed, she sighed before laughing quietly to herself. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Yara shook her head at what just happened. She was afraid to even look Erik in his eyes now. He saw her in full on nudity. Not in her panties and bra, not in a swimsuit, not wrapped with a fluffy towel, no, fully naked.
Twirling a strand of hair that fell from under the T-shirt, and chewing on her cuticles, Yara gathered herself before leaving the bathroom. She places the cleaning products back in its designated basket under the sink before grabbing her sponge. Yara walked out of the bathroom, entering the hallway and her eyes disobeying her as she nervously glanced into the living room. There seated on the couch with his eyes focused on her, was Erik. Like a magnet, Yara couldn’t pull her eyes away. It was as if he waited to see her leave.
Yara raised a hand in greeting.
He waved.
Yara hung her head, a small smile on her face.
Erik did the same thing before looking at her again.
“I hope this doesn’t make it weird between me and you,” Yara says.
“Never,” Erik spoke with his deep voice, “it could never be weird with you.”
Yara licks her lips, eyes set with long lashes blinking slowly at Erik.
“What are you thinking?” Erik asks while leaning forward on his elbows.
“I’m...I...just-forget it-“
“Nah, tell me.” Erik pushes his eyes searching.
“Mike will be back soon, I have to get dressed.”
“He ain’t back yet,” Erik tilts his head at her, “Don’t be so shy. It’s me, Erik.”
“But it’s what I’m thinking that I shouldn’t be,” Yara crosses her ankles in front of her while staring at her toes.
“Well, I wanna know.”
Yara fidgeted with her fingers before looking up at Erik through her lashes, “I was thinking that I’m glad you saw me like that. I’ve always wanted you to see me like that. Sorry I stormed away like I did earlier.”
Erik swallows spit, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Erik has to look away himself, scratching his nose. He wasn’t prepared for that response at all. Little Yara always wanted him to see her naked. He knew she had a school girl crush on him. No wonder why she didn’t rush to cover herself even though she still looked embarrassed.
“No worries, ma. Uh,” Erik scratches his dreads, “So...you’ve always wanted me to see you naked?”
Yara toyed with a lock of hair, “Yeah...” she spoke with her voice barely above a whisper.
“You shouldn’t talk like that, little Yara, you’ll get yourself in trouble.”
They way he said that sounded so dangerous like fucking with him was the last thing any women would want to do. But Erik didn’t understand, that was ALL Yara wanted to do. He was back, if she didn’t make a move now he would be gone again.
“It’s been a while since you’ve seen me, Erik, I dabbled in trouble,” Yara spoke with a honeyed tone.
“Maybe you should get in that bedroom before Mike gets here then,” Erik says with a sly smirk.
“Yeah, maybe,” Yara giggles before letting out a sigh,
“Bye, Erik.”
“Bye, Yara.”
She didn’t want to move. She really wanted Erik to get up and follow her into her bedroom.
“What you waiting on?” Erik says inclining his head towards the bedroom, “Get in there, little Yara.”
“Come with me?” Yara says before she could even stop herself.
Erik’s eyes dropped and his lips parted. Eyes fully closed now, he clenched his jaw to try and calm his dick. Too bad it was already growing stiff in his jeans. The way she told him to come with her. Such a tempting little thing. Nothing he expected Yara to ever say to him. She’s right, she definitely is a grown women now. Erik wondered what that body could really do.
“I’m-im Sorry,” Yara’s brows creased, eyes cast down at her hands, “I’m being a little too bold right now.”
Erik looked towards the door, then back at Yara. He took in the sight of her barely able to keep that towel around her body.
“You mean what you said? You’re not playing games?” Erik asks with a serious tone, “Cuz if I get up off this couch and come with you, you’re getting all of me, girl.”
“I know,” Yara bites her bottom lip, “I know what I want.”
The way her lips pouted and her eyes looked up at him all innocent caused Erik to stand up slowly from the couch. Erik drew his lower lip between his teeth hands in his jeans pockets before stepping forward. Yara’s lower lip trembled and her breath came out in short gasps. Standing directly next to her now, towering over her with his large intimidating frame, was Erik looking down at Yara with awe transforming his face. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Yara began to walk forward towards her bedroom. Yara twisted the handle, turning to face Erik before opening the door. Erik followed her into darkness, Yara turning to face him with timid eyes. Erik raised a single brow at her, silently asking her if she was sure about this. Yara swallows spit before nodding her head slowly. Erik licks his lips before closing that door behind him, the light that illuminated the hallway disappearing.
pairing: jeon jungkook x childhood friend male!reader
word count: 1485
description: jungkook and (M/n) have known each other since birth, both even growing to have the same dream. But due to busy schedules, things fall apart.
a/n: the title is because i got the idea for this while listening to fractures by illenium, also sorry if this one isn’t the best, i’m still getting back into the swing of writing these and for some reason inspiration doesn’t hit me until 1 am ??? anywho, there will probably be a part two of this up either this week or next week so check in for that if you want to ^^
(M/n) and Jungkook had been playing Super Smash Bros Brawl when Jungkook had said that. The news had shocked (M/n) so much that he ended up falling off the edge of the map. “That’s a good thing, right?” (M/n) questioned, glancing toward his friend who didn’t seem as excited as one would normally be.
“Yeah… well, it was until I realized if I do make it then we won’t be able to hang out like this anymore.” Jungkook sighed out, looking at (M/n) as the later paused the game. “I wish you could come with me.”
“Hey, just because you made it through and I didn’t doesn’t mean we won’t ever meet up in Seoul.” (M/n) gave Jungkook a bright smile as he shoved him lightly. “Don’t count me out yet, rockstar!”
“I thought we agreed to stop calling me that?” Jungkook groaned out, slouching against (M/n)’s bed.
“You may have agreed, but I signed nothing.” (M/n) smirked as he scooted closer to his friend, resting a head on his shoulder. “Look, when you make it through-”
“If.” Jungkook corrected, earning a stern look from (M/n).
“When you make it in, you’ll be one more step closer toward your dream. Do not hold yourself back just because of me.” (M/n) turned his gaze to Jungkook’s hand, noticing he was fidgeting with his fingers. “I plan on trying out at SM’s and JYP’s auditions that are coming up, so who knows, maybe I’ll be on my way soon as well. But, even if it doesn’t work out for me, do you really think I won’t make the trip to come see you whenever you have the time?”
“Promise?” Jungkook mumbled, turning his head to look at (M/n) as he held up his pinky finger. (M/n) didn’t even hesitate to wrap his pinky around Jungkook’s, giving him the brightest smile he could muster.
“Promise.”
-
When Jungkook had given (M/n) the call and told him he passed his second audition and was going to have the third one be very soon, (M/n) really wished he could have been more excited. While he was truly happy for his friend, the looming factor that (M/n) didn’t get to give Jungkook a proper goodbye hung over him heavily.
What if he doesn’t come home before moving into a dorm?
What if he isn’t able to see him again for months, or even years?
What if Jungkook forgets about (M/n)?
The last thought made (M/n) physically cringe, mumbling a ‘Stop that.’ to himself. He knew Jungkook, he knew that he would never let something like that happen. They’d known each other since birth, their parents were best friends, so there was no way their friendship would be destroyed by something as silly as distance or time.
Right?
-
The day BTS debuted, (M/n) was laying on the floor of the JYP practice room, struggling to catch his breath. He heard a few people mention a new boy group and so (M/n) decided to look them up, not expecting to see his old best friend almost right off the bat. It had been what felt like ages since the two last spoke, even if it had only been barely a year since their last conversation. It was still ironic to (M/n) that they were in the same city, yet the last time he had seen Jungkook in person was the day Jungkook left Busan. (M/n) became a trainee a few months after Jungkook, and after that they both barely had the time to talk. He tried to be understanding, especially since his own schedule was jam packed, but it still hurt to lose such a close friend. Especially when (M/n)’s mother would constantly ask if the two had met up and started talking again.
“Yo, (L/n)! Wanna grab some food with us?”
(M/n) looked up to see a few of his friends standing at the door, all with varying looks of concern on their faces as they looked at him. “Yeah, let me just grab my stuff!” (M/n) forced a smile onto his face, not wanting to worry any one, before standing up. After grabbing his things and making his way toward the elevator as his friends resumed whatever conversation they were having before, (M/n) found himself pulling his phone out to look at the video again.
“Oh, is that the group that just debuted today?” BamBam asked as he looked over (M/n)’s shoulder, an excited smile on his face. “Hopefully we can debut soon too.”
“You kidding me, Bam?” Chan snorted as he turned around, walking backwards. “I’ll be surprised if you guys aren’t in a group by next year.”
“You’ll debut soon too, Chan.” (M/n) grinned softly, watching as Bam draped an arm around Chan’s shoulder. “Maybe you and I will end up in a group together since Bam’s in that group with Mark, Jackson, and Gyeom.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Chan let out a weak laugh at that, but (M/n) made sure to get a smile out of him by poking his cheeks.
Even if (M/n) still felt hurt by the loss of his and Jungkook’s friendship, he was glad he at least had those two by his side.
-
“Will you just calm down already?” One of (M/n)’s members sighed as he paced around the room. “You do know the likelihood of you being anywhere near him is extremely low? We’re a baby group compared to them.”
“Hey, Chunsoo?” (M/n) stopped his pacing to look at him, waving his hands a bit. “Not helping.”
“I’m being serious, dude. You’re overreacting.” Chunsoo huffed as another member, Taehwan, stood up to grab (M/n)’s arm.
“We should still be able to roam the hall for a bit, let’s go for a walk. Maybe it’ll help your nerves?” Taehwan offered, smiling softly when (M/n) nodded. “We can even stop by GOT7’s room and say hi.”
“That sounds good.” (M/n) sighed out as he let Taehwan lead him out the door.
Almost immediately after they left the room, (M/n) found himself running into someone else by accident. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” (M/n) squeaked out, jumping back to make sure the other person was okay. He nearly screamed out loud when he saw just who it was.
“It’s alright, I should’ve been paying better-” Jungkook seemed to choke on his words when he actually looked at (M/n)’s face, eyes growing wide. “(M/n)? You’re… I didn’t know…”
“Oh, yeah…” (M/n) chuckled nervously as he noticed Taehwan backing up into the room with wide eyes, sending him a pleading look that (M/n) knew was futile. “We debuted a year ago.”
“No I meant- I didn’t know you guys were going to be here.” Jungkook breathed out, a sheepish smile slipping onto his face. “I uh, I actually saw your debut the day it came out…”
“Wait- really?” (M/n) was genuinely surprised to hear that, feeling a bit bad for thinking Jungkook would forget about him. “What did you think…?”
“It was really good. I’m… I’m sorry I never reached out...to uh- to tell you sooner.” They both were well aware what Jungkook actually meant, (M/n) even going as far as to grab Jungkook’s hand when he noticed he was playing with his fingers.
“Don’t apologize, you’re not the only one with access to a phone.” (M/n) mumbled, eyes locked onto their hands. “I should have reached out when you debuted, rockstar.”
“Oh god please don’t start calling me that.” Jungkook laughed, ducking his head down to catch (M/n)’s eyes. “I’m glad we bumped into each other, do you have a line account?”
“Oh, yeah I do-” (M/n) had to blink a few times as his brain short circuited slightly from Jungkook’s face being so close. He quickly pulled out his phone, unlocking it and handing it to Jungkook. When it was handed back to him, he saw Jungkook had sent himself a message.
“Let’s go out to eat some time to celebrate our debuts, on me.” Without giving (M/n) time to even agree, Jungkook was being escorted back to his room by one of the security guards that (M/n) hadn’t even noticed before.
As (M/n) entered his group’s room, they all swarmed him asking various questions about what happened and whether or not they were friends again, but (M/n) was still stuck on the fact that Jungkook still cared enough about him to pay attention to when he debuted. He still checked up on him. He still cared.
And just like that, (M/n) was beyond stoked for the evening his group had ahead of them.
Characters Got7, Stray Kids and Reader/fictional character
Genre: adoption, kidnapping, family reunion,
Words: 3255
Summary: One day she gets kidnapped and taken to South Korea and when she wakes up she's in a big room that looks like a dance practice room which it also is and it's located at the company called JYP. She's been stuck there for a few hours over night when a bunch of boys comes in to practice and finds her when they start to speak to her they find out she doesn't speak Korean that well so they can't communicate with her in any way until they find out that she's very similar to one of the boys but still different in a way
Crystal's POV
It's was now Monday the 21th of July and I have now been in this room for 20 hours without any food or drinks or anything. I don't even know what kind of place this is or where in the world I am.
I was sitting thinking to myself about how I could get out or when there would maybe come some when I heard footsteps and voices. It sounded like a bunch of male voices which I'm not a fan of at all.
As I crawled down to the nearest corner of the room the door opened and it stormed in with boys and the light also got turned on which hurt my eyes at first.
When they saw me all their talk stopped and they just stood there and looked at me.
"Hey, little one. What are you doing here?" He said but I didn't understand a word of what he was saying.
"Aish! I don't think she understands what you're saying Mark" a tall man with a brown mullet said.
"Try and let Jackson or Jinyoung speak to her, maybe she understands them" the mullet man continued to say.
The others stepped away when a semi-tall man came over and sat down in my level as he started to speak a language I actually understand.
"Hey how are you?" He asked and I slowly started to losen up a bit because of how soft his voice is.
"I'm afraid" I said to him as he took his arms around me.
"Do you understand me if I speak English to you?" He asked as he took a piece of hair behind my ear
"A little bit" I said as he nodded his head.
He stood and walked over to other boys.
"So what did you talk about with her?" A very tall man asked him as he looked at me.
"Well seems to be that she doesn't really speak but she understands a little Korean" The boy with glasses said to all of them as they nodded their heads.
"So if we s say something to her she won't reply with words? The tall boy asked.
"Basically yes unless we learn her some Korean." The The boy in glasses said as he looked at me.
As I sat there in the corner another of them came up to me and he was kinda pretty for a man being.
As he came closer I became more closer to him I ran up to The boy in glasses and hugged him tight as he took me up in his arms.
"Maybe we should introduce ourselves so you know our names. Wouldn't that be a good idea?" He asked me as I nodded my head and hurried it in his neck.
"Well I'm Bambam and I speak Thai sometimes" he said as I nodded.
"Hi, I'm Jinyoung"
"Hi, I'm Yugyeom"
"Hi, I'm Jaebum"
"Hello, I'm Jackson"
"Yo, I'm Youngjae"
"Hey, I'm Mark"
They all said one by one.
As I was sat in Jinyoung's lap he looked at me.
"What's your name sweetie?" He asked looking at me.
"3276" I said showing him my arm with the numbers on.
Jinyoung looked worried at the other boys and then at me "Sweetie, don't you have a real name?" He said as I just looked up at him with big tears eyes.
I just nodded my head as a no.
Crystal's pov
The boys looked worried at me when I nodded my head as a no. I hate attention especially when it's all on me and nothing else. I could feel how my eyes started to tear up as I thought of everything that had happened and my parents so I just yelled out "mummy!" As I hide in Jinyoung and started crying softly.
"Awe sweetie, I'm right here okay? I'm gonna protect you" he said as I started to calm more down while the boys just awed.
Soon after I was carried over to a couch as they all were starring me which I didn't like as I mentioned earlier.
"We're gonna have to do some dance practice now, so you can just sit here and watch us, for the time being, is that okay?" Jinyoung asked as I nodded my head and they started dancing.
A few hours later
Darkness. That's all I can see. Not again. Did the boys kick me out or throw me back to the bad guys? Please don't! Not that place again.
There's nothing I can hear. It's all quiet. Suddenly footsteps are coming towards me, ripping the darkness away from me. Looking at it, I all this time had a back over my head. Where the hell am I?!
"Well hello, sleeping beauty. Did you have a nice nap?" The man in front of me asked. I just sat shocked to answer him. Big mistake. Next, I knew was pain on my cheek. Where're the nice boys when I need them?
"Answer me, you little brat!" He yelled at me. I jumped in fear, causing him to smirk. Pain from my side always made him happy. A sick kind of happiness. Remember only for eomma.
"Y-yes, s-sir" I answered in fear.
Smirking he walked over to the dark side of the room. What does he even want from me anyway? I have nothing. I'm only here for eomma so she doesn't get the pain and has to suffer more.
Turning all the lights on, he revealed a woman. Tied up, just like me. Please don't be eomma!
"You see, 3276 I know I have never been able to break you. Yet. Do you know who I found walking around in the streets yelling your name? Your very own mother" He said ripping the bag away from her head too. No! Not her! He already killed appa. Not eomma too!
"Eomma!!" I screamed with tears in my eyes. She locked eyes with me. Crying too.
"You see 3276. She is going to suffer too. All because of you. I hate to do this to you. Wait, no. I don't. I know this is the only way to break you from the inside." He craped ommas neck hard caursing her to gasp for air.
"If your omma didn't fall in love with your coward of an appa. We wouldn't be here" He started. Punching omma in the face. Leaving a bloody nose. "YOU COULD HAVE BEEN MY DAUGHTER!!" He screamed, making both omma and me jump in fear. "But no! She chose Nick, you asshole of an appa!" Yelling again he begin to beat her up. Being more and more violent. Until I screamed he would never be my appa. That was the last drop he needed. He pulled out a gun shooting omma multiple times all over her body.
"EOMMA!!" I screamed, looking in the eyes of Jinyoung. Crying my eyes out I jumped down from the couch and in his arms. Holding tight onto him.
Jinyoungs POV
I don't know how long we had been practising but suddenly I heard small cries coming from the couch. I stopped the music and made my way to her. Is she okay was the only thing I could think of. When I saw her I immediately yelled the boys over. How the hell do we wake her? We started to yell her name. Nothing. Shaking her she sat up bright and screamed omma. We locked eyes and she soon was in my arms. Holding onto me like I was going to dissapair in front of her. I hold her tight. Calming her down. What did she go through to have this bad of a nightmare?
Jinyoung's POV
I looked up at the other boys as they all looked worried about what just happened. I hugged her tight as I could feel how she was crying and shaking.
"Guys I think we should end practice for today and just get home" I said with a sad and serious look on my face.
As we were walking down the hallways of the jyp building, Stray Kids came walking towards us.
"Are you guys done with practice?" Chan asked us.
"Yes we are, you can use it now if you want to" Jaebeom replied looking quick over at the girl and back to Chan again.
"Great thanks, mates" Chan said as he did the bro hug with Jaebeom.
Right before he left to be with the rest of SKZ he looked at me with a questioning look on his face.
"Who's that little princess?" He said as he lightly giggled at bit.
"I'll explain it you later bro" Bam said as Chan just nodded his head and went into to practice with the others.
A few hours later
Jaebeom's POV
As we arrived at our dorm, we all went over to the couch and sit with Jinyoung and the girl.
"How about you tell us a bit about yourself?" Mark asked with his soft voice. She slowly nodded her head as she was clinging on to Jinyoung after from what happened.
"I'm 10, idk my name, I have no family and I like music" She said with a cute little voice.
"We are your family now if you want to live with us?" Youngjae said as he smiled at her. She nodded her head and slowly got up from Jinyoung's chest and now just sat on his lap.
"What of kind of artist do you listen to?" Jackson asked her calmly.
"I really like listening to NCT, I think they have a really cool style in music" She said as she suddenly lighted more up in her mood and became more relaxed around us.
"Nice, do you have a favourite in the group?" I asked her whilst smiling at her.
"Yes, I really like Taeyong he's so cool and especially with his rapping" She said as she got all excited about it.
"How cute!" Yugyeom said as he laughed a little bit.
As we all started to clean up around the house, she came up to me and looked at me.
"Jaebeom oppa, when can I get a name like you guys?" I looked down at her big brown eyes who shined like diamonds and crystals as i lifted her up on the kitchen table to sit.
"What do you want to be called?" I asked her as she shrug her shoulders "I don't know, can't you choose something?" She asked looking tired.
"Sure I can. What do you say about we call you Crystal?" I asked where and her eyes lit up like stars in the night sky.
"I love it Jaebeom oppa, thank you!" She said as she hugged me quick and let go again.
"Where's Jinyoung?" She asked suddenly going back to being terrified as she grabbed on to my hand tight.
"I think he's in his room, come here let's go into him" I said to her as I lifted her up in my arms and placed her on my hips as she immediately gripped tight onto me like something was gonna happen.
"It's okay I'm right here, nothing is going to happen to you" I said trying to calm her down as we reacted Jinyoung's room.
"Jinyoung, there's someone here who wants you" I said when Jinyoung came up to take a tired and scared Crystal in his arms.
Jinyoung's POV
After Jabeom left I placed her on my bed and started to change into my pyjamas.
"Jaebeom has given me the name Crystal" She said shy.
I looked at her in awe.
"How nice, do you want him to be your dad?" I asked as she slowly nodded her head while she quick said "Pls don't hurt me for choosing him" I sat down beside her when she flinched a but.
"Crystal, look at me. I'm not going too hurt you, I would never do that. It's great that you find trust in him. I'm the mum of this group anyway, so you don't need to worry and if anyone ever hurts you, then we will take care of it" I said as she hugged me tight and stared crying as I tried to calm her down till we eventually fell asleep both us.
Next day...
Jinyoung's POV
I looked around in my room as I realised what happened yesterday and found a sleeping Crystal in my arms. I sat up and let her sleep as I went out in the kitchen and started cooking breakfast for the boys.
Soon the the kitchen was filled boys who clearly where hungry for the food.
"Hyung, this smells delicious!" Yugyeom said as he sat down at the table together with Bambam and followed by the rest of the boys except from Jaebeom who hasn't come out yet.
"Hey Jackson have you seen JB?" I asked looking at him as he just shrugged his shoulders a bit.
"Last time I saw him he went into your room to check on Crystal I think" He said as he filled his mouth with Rice.
Sooner than later JB came out in the kitchen with Crystal half asleep in his arms as he sat down at the table.
"Hey princess, did you sleep well?" I asked as I walked over to her taking her up in my arms so JB could eat.
She just nodded her head as she rubbed her eyes "Mmmm" she just said yawning a little bit while she rested her head on my shoulder.
"Hey Youngjae, could you and the other boys watch her for me and JB as we have some stuff we need to do" I asked winking at JB as he choked a bit on his rice.
"Sure Hyung, We can take her to the park. What do you say to that Crystal?" He asked as she just nodded her head slowly.
This is going to be interesting as she doesn't really speak to other than me and JB, but I can feel that she will connect fast with Youngjae.
Youngjae's POV
Me and boys decided to take Crystal to the park so we or she wouldn't disturbe JB and Jinyoung hyung.
"Crystal, don't want to go play with some of the other kids at the playground?" I asked her as she just nodded her head as a no.
Until Jackson got up and said "Come princess, I'll go with you" He said clearly more excited about this than Crystal but she agreed with going along with him in the end.
Before they left Mark yelled to Jackson "Yo Jackson you better not loose her, okay? Keep an eye on her and stay close to her" Jackson just nodded his head not really carrying about what Mark said I think.
Jackson's POV
As we walked to the playground I looked down at Crystal as she looked up at me.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked her as she pointed to the swings and we went over there. As we got closer and I started swinging her I noticed a really pretty girl like omg she is breathtaking. I looked at Crystal as I said.
"Sweetie, uncle need to go for a short time. I'll be back again soon I promise but you need to stay here okay?" I said as she nodded her head and continued to swing by herself.
15 minutes later...
As I went back to the swings where I left Crystal she was gone... shit the boys are going to kill me when they find out. I started looking for by slowly calling her name so the boys wouldn't notice that i literally just lost her until Mark came over and tapped my shoulder as i flinched a bit of nervousness.
"Hey Jackson, how's it going?" He asked smiling but I knew that smile and it wasn't a good one it was the I know you did something wrong but I'm trying to kill you right now smile.
"It's going great hyung don't worry" I said trying to play it a bit cool.
"Great then where is she?" He asked putting his arm on my shoulder.
"We're playing hide and seek so I can't tell you" I said trying to come up with a lie hoping he wouldn't find out the truth.
"Why don't you just tell me that you lost her instead of this?" He said looking straight at me.
"Fine... I got distracted and when I came back she was gone. I'm sorry" I said looking down at the ground.
"I'm disappointed in you cuz you didn't listen to me as I said but let's find her before it gets dark, wait here and I'll tell the other boys.
Crystal's POV
As I sat on the swing waiting for uncle Jackson to come back I saw a butterfly, it was so beautiful so I had to follow it not watching where I was walking or in which direction when suddenly i was lost and couldn't find back to where uncle Jackson and the others where.
I got really scared as I'm not used to be myself in a place i don't really know. I tripped over something and started to get an anxiety attack as to boys was walking up to me which made me even more scared.
Felix's POV
As me and Han were walking a little late night walk along Han River we saw a little girl who was sitting on the grass crying so we walked up to her but she started to flinch and get even more scared.
"Hey calm down we're not trying to hurt you, we just want to help you" I said as she looked up at us for the first time.
I took her up on my lap as we sat on a bench when Han whispered to me "Yo Felix doesn't she look a bit like Changbin?"
I looked at her once again and saw it a little bit but not much.
"What's your name?" I asked her while trying not to sound too scary with my deep voice.
"C-Crystal" she said sounding very shy and scared.
I looked at her trying to calm her down.
"Nice. My name is Felix and that is my friend Han Jisung" I said as she bowed shortly at him and he bowed back.
"What are you doing out here alone? Where's your parents?" I asked her as she became even more silent.
"I was with uncle Jackson at the swings and then I got distracted by something and got lost" she said as something hit me when she said Jackson
"Jackson as in Jackson Wang from GOT7?" I asked her as she just shrugged her shoulders.
"I just want JB appa and Jinyoung eomma" she said as she started crying into my chest.
"We know your appa and eomma" I said to her as she lifted her head once again.
"You do?" She said sniffling.
"Yeah they're in the same company as us, we talk to them a lot" I said as she calmed a lot more than she's ever been this whole time.
"Let's take you with us back to our dorm as it's getting late, okay?" I said as she nodded her head yawning a bit as I lifted her up and we started walking towards the dorm.
We sooner than later arrived at the dorm and as soon as we went in Changbin widened his eyes as soon as he saw her.
Be aware that English is not my mother language, but I am doing my best.
Also, it has been a long time since I last watched or read BNHA, some stuff may be out of the context of the anime.
So far you got into the academy half semester, everybody was curious to know which quirk you had. They discovered it is regenerating when you got into an ugly fight with Bakugo after a rivalry over a P.E. class in witch you tied times. You and Bakugo are punished by having to clean the class together. You tell him your secret: Aizawa is your uncle and also that your quirk leaves scars in your body. You do so by showing your chest to him. Professor Mic gets you in what he thinks is a making out session
Now you are both sitting in front of Director Nezu, Aizawa by your side facepalming with what you are pretty sure is the most disappointed face he has ever made. Professor Mic stands beside him, holding a laugh.
"I mean... I know you humans have... peculiar, sexual habits, and you are in that age." Nezu says after a sip from his tea. "But it is a very grave rule breaking you are commiting here."
"WE WERE NOT ABOUT TO DO ANYTHING!" Bakugo screams for the third time. "If so, I was going to attack y/n"
"WHAT?!" Aizawa exclaims, as Bakugo burns red in realizing what he had just said.
"No! Attack likein assault... no! Like in beating the shit out of... "
"Shut up, you're not helping anyone." you say, putting your collar up and shrinking into the chair with your arms crossed.
"Look, y/n was the one who opened the shirt!" He continues.
Professor Mic is not even trying to stop himself from laughing anymore, he even leans against Aizawa, whose face is completely enraged.
"Well Aizawa, once you are the one responsible for y/n, you might sign the warning." says Nezu, putting a pen on top of a paper full of words. "And we will call Mrs. Bakugo tomorrow."
"Will call my... oh fuck." Bakugo pulls his hair in grief.
"And so the both of you know, as much as I don't think this will be necessary to say, if it repeats again you will both be... expelled" Director Nezu says, and you can se a sparkle of meaningness in his eye.
You can feel Aizawa's eyes burning onto you.
...
Aizawa gave you the worst lecture you've ever seen in your life. You apologize to him as much as you can, but he is still angry. This makes you upset, but you promise him you will stay out of trouble. He is the only family you have and you care a lot about him and his approval.
This makes you go back to your dorm, head down, thinking about getting back to keeping a low profile. People call you to seat with them and play some uno, but you refuse and go straight to your room. But as you open the door, Bakugo closes it back. You get face to face with him, both of you agressively staring at each other.
"This was on you!" He says bumping his index against your chest.
"What's wrong? Afraid of mama? Is Big Bom Bom Boy a mommy's boy?" You answer, pushing him away from you.
"What did you just call me, brat?!"
As you see Bakugo get his hands ready to fight, you prepare yourself yo fight back. But you sunddely remember Aizawa's disappointed look. You shrink your shoulders and put your head down once again. Bakugo stares, confused.
You step back and bow.
"Sorry. I didn't mean that. I apologize." you say, then you get inside of the room as fast as you can.
"What?" You hear him saying.
You sit, leaning against the door and sob a little. You,then, clean your face and go to your desk to study.
...
As the weeks go by, Bakugo tries to compete with you many times, at first you do it too, but when you notice Aizawa looking, you keep your pace down and step away not to cause trouble.
You can clearly see that Bakugo gets even more angry when this happens, but he does not talk to you or insists until the next time.
In a month you get back to being a quiet presence in the class. Except for you can always feel Bakugo's fierce eyes on the back of your neck.
Until a day you are studing for the tests and a ball hits the tree you are leaning against and shakes it very hard. A boy comes running towards you.
"Hey, sorry!" Says Tetsutetsu. "We are playing quirkball, and SOMEONE hit the ball way too hard" he says staring at the court.
"Quirkball?" you ask while he helps you stand and clean your uniform.
"It is like volleyball, but you can use your quirk yo cheat. Wanna play?"
"I... I don't see how I can use my quirk to cheat on volleyball." you answer, organizing your materials and ready to go.
"HEEEEY! Y/N COME PLAY WITH US!!" you hear Uraraka's voice, followed by Midoriya, Tsuyu and Kirishima.
They scream so much at you that you get too embarassed not to play. When you get there, HE is there, staring at you.
"Midoriya, Uraraka, Kirishima vs Y/n, Bakugo and me, Tusyu is the juge" Tetsutetsu announces and then turns to you. "Leave Midoriya's balls to me."
He immediately turns himself into iron.
You and Bakugo exchange a look, he seems a little surprized to see you there and you get confused feelings about it. For a brief moment you think you have seen him smile. But as you look at him again, he is making that rageful face.
"Stay out of my way." He says, pushing you aside and stomping to the spot near the net."I am gonna EXTERMINATE all of you!" Bakugo points at the other team.
"It... it is just a game Kaachan." Midoriya sutters while Uraraka facepalms.
"COME AT ME, BRO!" Kirishima screams back at him, turning himself into rock.
You barely see the game start. Tetsutetsu launches the ball, which goes straight to Kirishima. He recieves it easily, hitting it to Uraraka's direction. She touches it gently and it floats above the net, where Midoriya shows up and kicks it with his quirk.
"I WILL GET IT!" you hear Tetsutetsu scream, but the ball is coming straight in your direction.
"Wait, no!!" Midoriya screams and everyone gasps.
You put yourself in reception position and the ball hits your arms, you can feel them breaking in an excruciating pain, but you are used to it. The ball bounces and hits Tetsutetsu's head, he was not even paying attention anymore, he was trying to reach to save you.
Bakugo comes from nowhere and cuts the ball with a huge explosion to the other side of the net.
"DIE!!" He screams.
It bursts against the floor while everyone is staring at you.
Tetsutetsu kneels beside you.
"Oh my god! Let's take y/n to Recovery Girl!" he says, trying to lift you in his shoulders.
"WHAT? No, I'm ok! I'm ok!" You say jumping away from him.
Everyone stares at you while you move your arms to show they are intact.
"What? That is my quirk, remeber?" You say, shrinking your shoulders, a little embarassed about all the fuzz.
"You are amazing!!" Kirishima screams, hands on head.
"Y/n can catch Midoriya's balls too!! I tought only me and Kirishima could do it!" Tetsutetsu says shaking you from your shoulders.
"Ahn... let's not overdo it, though." You say.
"ARE WE GONNA PLAY OR WHAT?!" Bakugo screams, launching a ball so explosive, it puts Kirishima to the ground.
As the game goes, you recieve the ball from Tetsutetsu and assist Bakugo many times. Each point you get, you and Tetsutetsu start celebrating more and more excitedly. Bakugo refuses to take part in this, but he seems to be having as much fun as you. Probably because he has already hurt everyone in the other side at least once.
Tsuyu announces the end of the game, you won.
Tetsutetsu pulls both of you into a forced hug. Your head meets Bakugo chest, it is all sweaty, but it does not smell bad as in most people. Bakugo smells like caramel, probably because of his quirk. Also, you can feel the extreme heat it emanates, it is like hugging a hot water purse.
As he screams and curses for Tetsutetsu to let him go, you blush. Why are you noticing these kind of things?! You look at him, eyes wide open and notice that your heartbeat has gone high.
He looks back at you with a confused expression. Your already blushed face turns completely red, and he stops fighting Tetsutetsu and blushes too.
When Tetsutetsu lets you go, you are both looking at the other side. You have your hands in your cheeks and shake your head. He right away starts going away without a word.
"He normally does that when he loses." Kirishima says, confused. "Nice game...oooooh..."
You look at him and realize he notices your blush. He is impressed at first, but then smirks at you.
"OOOOoooooh..." he says again opening a huge smile.
Not knowing what to do about it, you shake your hands at him, making an "x" trying to avoid letting him say anything else. Then, you do the only thing your brain can think of: you run the hell away from there.
...
Caramel smell. Who smells like caramel?! You head is confused, you can't sleep. You decide to stand up and study. As you sit in your desk all you can remember is that look you exchanged while locked together in Tetsutetsu's hug.
Oh dear, were you liking Katsuki Bakugo?! The jerk who thinks he is better than everyone else? The imbecil who got you in trouble with your uncle twice?
No, it must not be. Your brain is just confused because... you know hatred is often confused with love.
It also turns a lot into it, you've heard.
"Shit!" You say as you notice you left your pen so long on the paper the ink stained it.
You hear a knock on the door.
"Who the f..." you whisper, looking at the clock. It is too late for anyone to visit.
You slowly open it to check who it is. The door is forced towards you and you step back. It closes behind him with a bam.
Caramel smell.
You can't see anything, he has already come to you with the most furious kiss you have ever recieved. How else could he kiss, he was an agressive boy, he should kiss ageessively.
"What the hell?" You say, pushing him away, but he is stronger than you, you can only separate your faces, he holds you tight against him.
"Shut up." He says leaning on your neck and starting to suck at it.
"Hey! Hey! What the fuck is this?!" You ask taking some steps back, but he follows you. You can feel that whatever he is doing is gonna leave a mark.
"Do you want it or not?!" He asks, pushing you against the wall and pressing his body against yours.
You can fell the caramel scent taking over your brain. You fell your body getting soft against his. You can't get yourself to offer any more resistence.
"Want it or not?" He repeats, his red eyes staring deep into yours.
"I... I do." You say, putting your hands on his hips and lifting your chin in his direction.
He smiles at you, you wait for him to kiss you again.
You hear an annoying noise.
It is your phone ringing with the alarm. You were passed out in your study table. It is time to get ready for classes.
You lean your head on your hands and lose the count of how many "fucks" you say.
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Summary: Yahya is thirty-three, and his friends and family all seem to believe that it is long overdue for him to have a wife. He’s been set up more times than he can count and with his busy schedule and rising Hollywood star, it is becoming even more difficult to meet people, well people who aren’t looking for a come up. In the beginning, he said he didn’t want anything serious; his motto was “I’m was here for a good time not a long time.” Then it became he didn’t want anything that would distract him from where he wanted to go and what he wanted to accomplish. Now that his fame is rising and he’s approaching a sweet spot in his career he decides what the hell the time might be right.
In comes “A Match”, an exclusive matchmaking company run by his best friend Ramel’s wife Tamika. He gives Tamika and Ramel free rein and all his trust to find him someone he’d mesh well with. Instead of going through her clientele Tamika has just the right woman in mind, her best friend, Nyorie. Things are done a little unorthodox at “A Match” though. This unconventional route is credited for a near perfect success rate.
**Loosely Proofread/Edited**
**Interactive**
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Chapter Two
Rashawn actually looked happy. He looked happy, happy. The happiness that began inside, wrapped around your heart and filled your soul. He stood and watched his friend of damn near fifteen years laugh and hug onto his new wife. He didn’t even look to give a damn that she had him in a petal pink tie and pocket square even though he swore he’d put his foot down and tell her no pink. He smiled completely at peace with the knowledge his friend was happy.
“You okay?” Beside him, Tameka warmly smiled. He nodded.
“Yeah, I’m good. Ya girl did it, finally got his ass down this aisle.”
Tamika snorted and fanned him off. “Please, Rashawn not fooling a damn soul. He couldn’t wait for this day.” He smiled and nodded then continued to watch the newlyweds and it was then it hit him. He was the last one.
“So, any idea when you’re going to be making one of these trips?”
He knew Ramel spoke to her, he knew they probably gossiped about him. He shrugged and sipped his drink.
“Eh, whenever I’m meant to I guess.”
“You know you have to actually be making an effort to make it happen, right?”
He knew that and he knew just where this conversation was going.
“Is it the commitment you’re afraid of or the actual act?”
“Ah, I’ve never been afraid of commitment, and the act itself is trivial,” he confessed.
“Then what has you dragging your feet?”
“I can’t meet people Meeka, you know that. LA is so jaded, so superficial, it’s impossible. Plus, I’m crazy busy. How in the hell can I even maintain something?”
“Where there is a will, there is a way.” He wanted to laugh because she sounded so sure. He wasn’t.
“You’re not there yet. When you are, none of these concerns will matter,” Tameka assured with her hand on his shoulder. She then walked away to join the others.
The wedding was a beautiful thing. Love was always a beautiful thing he thought. Rashawn looked genuinely happy and anytime black love was celebrated it was always a good time. The dancing never ceased, nor did the laughs. Of course, when the cha-cha slide came on everyone was up on their feet and that started the precision of every black get together song. Everyone danced, laughed and hollered well into the early morning hours.
By the time he made it back to his hotel room, he knew the sun would be peeking through the windows soon. It made no sense to sleep, so he knocked out a workout in the gym. He pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion, pushed the levels his body could go. He learned long ago that change doesn’t happen by remaining in your comfort zone. If someone wanted real change they would have to step it up and be prepared to be uncomfortable.
When he was rounding the finish mark he began to wonder if that was what he had to do. Did he have to get outside his comfort zone and push himself to find what everyone seemed to think he needed—what he knew he wanted? It was an interesting thought, one he mulled over during his shower and on a call with his mother.
“You sound like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders,” she voiced. He rubbed the back of his neck. Sometimes he felt like it.
“At times it seems that way.”
“Poor baby, remember life is meant to be enjoyed not squandered by work and stress.”
He nodded, remembering his father used to say the same exact words before he passed. The thought of his father—his best friend he was filled with a melancholy feeling. He missed him.
“I miss him too honey.”
The silence stretched giving them both time to reminisce on the man that was no longer with them, the man who made him everything he was, the man he strived every day to make proud and honor.
“I think maybe it’s time I opened myself up to someone,” he slowly expressed.
“Someone or thee one?”
A soft smile stretched across his lips. She was always good at reading between his words and hearing what he didn’t say. “Yes.”
“Good. I was just talking to your sisters the other day about you being the only one still yet to find someone who brings sunshine and ocean breeze.” Another smile spread across his face. this was something she’d said from his childhood. She said that is how she knew his father was the one; he brought sunshine and ocean breeze to her life.
“I just don’t know if sunshine and ocean breeze is in the cards for me maw.”
She softly snickered. “Please boy, it’s there waiting for you. You just have to find her,” she reassured.
Maybe she was right, he thought. Maybe there was a woman out there that had everything he wanted, a woman who didn’t give two shits that he was this movie star, a woman who could see the real him, the boy from New Orleans who stayed outside till night time hanging in Oakland. Maybe it was possible.
“We never loose by letting love in, baby. We loose when we close ourselves off to it.”
With those final words, his decision was made.
~~~~~~~~
Two days later he was driving down the highway trying to get to a meeting for a new role he wanted. It was then his phone rang.
“Yo, Yo, Yo.”
“What up man? I got your text. You serious?”
“Yeah. I thought about it, talked to my mama. Why not man,” he informed.
“Okay cool. I had the best idea--Tameka’s matchmaking company.”
“Wait, wait,” he began to protest.
“No, nope. You know her company’s been doing the damn thing. Yeah, it’s a little unconventional but it works. She’s about to break into a different class of success,” Ramel bragged.
He knew what he was saying was true. It actually made sense. He didn’t have the time to meet people the traditional way and it was what she did.
“All right man what the hell!”
“Word?”
“Yeah. Tell her, let’s see what happens.”
“My man, that’s a good look. Finally. You can stop looking like the pitiful one when we all get together,” Ramel teased. He kissed his teeth and ended the call. He wasn’t gonna just sit by and listen to him fuck with him like that.
When he was finally in front of the executives of Warner Bros he easily dazzled them for the role. They went over his previous roles and asked him questions to get a feel of his personality and then had him test read for the role. The more he read of the script the more he liked it. After an hour or so he was done and fielding an email for his manager Dara informing him “that” episode of Watchmen was airing that night. When he was told it was definite he would be in the nude for the role it was a little nerve-racking, but he’d expected it, it was Dr. Manhattan after all. Now he had to get right with the world seeing his business. A message came in pulling his attention.
MSG Tameka: Mel told me. Are you sure about this?
Sighing he laughed to himself. Ramel sure moved quick; it hadn’t even been three hours since he’d told him to move on it.
MSG: Yeah, I’m sure.
MSG Tameka: You do know my company does things differently, it’s not just flip through a book find a look you like and bam matched. It’s an intricate process.
MSG: I got that Meeka.
MSG Tameka: Come by my office tomorrow, come through the back entrance. We’ll see how sure you are.
He didn’t like the sound of that one bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!
twitter saw this first + i know i just woke up but this is an exercise for me to be productive during the day so anyways let me present: My grand Neo Culture Theory🤯
ok so. first and foremost i think we should start with 7th sense because that's the very first song released. you know how the lyrics are open your eyes and all and that literally explains they're really in a dream, or dream in a dream in that case. also 7th sense is about them sensing there's another parallel universe (what) and even the logo explains it – yo that connects to the balancing black balls thing on black on black (holy shit)
later on, in chewing gum mv the dreamies are stuck in an orphanage something-something. and not to forget that legendery chenle screencap, that moment when they entered another room before they get caught and there's chenle smirking – bruh, judging by the lights i think they were going to meet ten or sumn bcs yo dream in a dream mv
hah, every theorists out there leaving mfal mv and firetruck mv out of the picture because they seem to be out of context. well, their teacher in mfal mv is a science teacher, and a glimpse on the board is fixated on the topic of solar system. nct dream were learning about universes all along! firetruck mv is explained later
switch mv is a rlly big deal!! the casette recorder is yellow and it's the same one in regular mv😮 + bro nctmentary explained a lot. first of all when two dreamies were seen running to that house, i think that's the orphanage?? they don't know if it is a dream or reality, but anyways i think when they met ten on the other room they had the time of their lives, became teenage rebels and that's where go mv originated. haechan's 'run run run' lyric is really puzzling omg but im gonna connect it to his superhuman lyric 'run away from this boring routine day' bcs you know donghyuck, a dilly darn prankster actually getting bored of his life or whatever the fucking world they're in
yestoday mv talks about their struggles. touch mv is about the string theory (stolen from someone in twt) "The problem with string theory, according to some physicists, is that it makes too many universes". IT MAKES TOO MANY UNIVERSES. THOSE ARE LITERALLY THE ONES IN TAEYONG'S DRAWER IN BOSS MV HOOOOOEE wow im going nuts
IM NEVER GONNA FORGET ABOUT WITHOUT YOU. 's making me piss my pants but it's still a big effin mystery as to why sicheng,, is in the train,, coincidence? i think so. his sudden appearance speaks a lot but in uncanny shambles. jaehyun was asleep in without you and guess what,, he's prolly dreaming about taeil and doyoung w that girl too and yo, sicheng most likely hinted about joining their group of friends from that day onwards and bam, he's in 127.
nct 127 might've gotten their unit name from the latitude of seoul but then,, i actually did research ok. "angel 127 is all about manifesting your dreams into reality. Whenever this powerful angel number shows up in our lives, it brings an influence that highlights achievement and success. The project that you have been working on for a while is about to take a favorable turn." YO?¿??¿ PROJECT = ALL THE LABWORKS, NCTMENTARY, REGULAR OFFICE. continuing on, "When working on manifesting your dreams, it is important to remain open to the messages that the angels continuously send to you. When you see angel number 127 showing up on work related documents, in financial transactions, and even on the alarm clock when you wake in the middle of the night, it is time to quiet your mind and allow the messages the angels are sending to come to the surface." HUHH AINT THAT WHAT NCT 127 RLLY DID IN REGULAR OFFICE,, bruh they keep stamping and stamping their logo and shit
so since 127 in angel number sign says all of that... bro. FIRETRUCK MV. didnt nct 127 members themselves said that they're acting like the little girl's guardian angels all along?? what if they're really guardian angels all along?? they're guardian angels that keep delivering the sign number 127, which all makes sense regarding their concept.
nctmentary – yo im about to call the whole army on sm for ruining half of my braincells. we are uncertain on who the actual heck is controlling dream lab and someone says it's johnny and i somehow agree. shown in superhuman he's rlly working hard to go tech tech on my mind in order to meet their other halves.
boss mv – yo, the balls in taeyong's drawer,, marty im anxious but they're the planets from the parallel universe and taeyong's supposed to pick ONE (1) ball and he prolly chose wayv's world. + boss is the era where they argue on who will get to control the universe they will be taking over but then realizes that's impossible and so later on they learn the value of cooperation and teamwork
dream launch mv was bamboozling and idk what is wayv on but 👽👽👽 i dont even know which nct unit is on this dream planet and that reality planet but regarding regular chn ver. mv, wayv sure came from a lab which might point out to them trying to find ways on how to get to the other world to meet the rest of nct. (i ddd kKK what happened to dream lab anyway why is wayv in a l a b tHO) then on dream launch,, they discovered a wormhole. yo they tested it right?? and that huge candy that they used to test using the closet,,, alrdy betting that came from chewing gum mv aka nct dream's world. and fucking– wayv was able to get to the wormhole and that's why they saw the earth from their view but HEY DONT FORGET xiaojun woke up the moment he entered.
THE KID. THE KID RLLY SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME but someone said it's anyone from chewing gum era nct dream so idfk lmao it could be chenle or something bcs he seems to be the bridge between nct dream and wayv. and to talk abt chenle, yo, he's the first one who woke up from the dream in we go up mv and it's bcs he knows!! he knows abt the parallel universe and wayv themselves so when mark woke up, abt to leave their group of friends /bcs he'll have to stick with nct 127 now/, chenle begs help from him to save their friends and get them out of this world and that's what mark does, as an nct 127 member.
PEOPLE LISTEN UP OK?? THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. in ten's dream, he stood over a house in ruins. AND THAT HOUSE IS NCT DREAM'S... bro, i did say abt them running away and nct dream's go was born,, makes sense as to why we go up seemed like a runaway with friends story too... they no longer have a home sis, it was shown in ten's dream but i dont know abt their universe
the massive circles,,, boss, touch, black on black, simon says, wakey wakey, superhuman... this is really mind-boggling but the circles seem to be the portal to the other world(ok wtf)
in my conclusion nct dream is nct dream bcs they all dreaming except for some (literally that's why wakey wakey mv starred haechan who's still dreaming when they're already supposed to be exploring out the world together and find out the mystery about the parallel universe BECAUSE. HAECHAN IS ALRDY AN ADULT and he be joining his bros)
taeyong hinted about the colors about his dream from nctmentary. and to talk abt regular mv, LISTEN, winwin and jungwoo had prominent roles here. winwin was shown on a roof and falling, and the whole scene is colored. colored means either reality or a dream, i don't know, we about to figure that out. on the other hand, jungwoo fell too, and his falling scene is black and white. then later on, he takes off the harness as if nothing happened. THIS IS IT, FOLKS, this is rlly the representation of jungwoo entering nct 127 and winwin leaving nct 127 because he fell in his dreams. he fell, and somehow it became a reality, and wormhole said hello.
the casette recorder from switch mv appeared again, this time in both versions of regular mvs. both are yellow. in the eng ver, yuta placed it in the car while on the kor ver, mark inserted the radio. it's the same one in nctmentary, and they use it to see, record and view their dreams. it explains how they enter their dreams in regular mv (!! lyrics of the two versions are different. kor ver is the reality, speaking up abt their sass and struggles regarding life. eng ver is their dream, 'i just made a million and im still not satisfied')
on the third episode of nctmentary, haechan was surrounded by cameras. i assume those cameras record their dreams, and one of them is spotted in regular mv. even the TV in markyong's barber shop says that they are, literally, in a dream.
!!! during simon says era, winwin wasn't included in the choreography anymore nor he was with them during promotions, which implies he really has left. in fact, there indeed was a scene in simon says mv that showed how winwin fell to the wormhole. that's how winwin ended up leaving nct 127, as reaffirmed in regular mv, and eventually joined wayv in their world.
superhuman mv analysis gives me anxiety – haechan is still bored, but he has woken up from his dreams and stood up from where he left off in wakey wakey. everyone is exceeding their limits. they're becoming superhumans just to overcome the portal and reach the other end of the universe. it becomes clear in this mv that nct 127 are in a world that is not real, considering that their settings are glitching, beyond extraordinary and technologically centered. johnny is shown to be at the center of that portal thing and that proves how he really is testing things out, handling dream lab and examining stuffs through. and moreover, jungwoo is disintegrating speaks a lot. he's in the same position as xiaojun was in takeoff mv, so he might've been transferred to the other portal as the group's scientific testing.
im rlly anxious but imagine this scenario. what if uh, wayv arrives at nct 127's world using the plane in take off mv, but then at the same time nct 127 finds the way to get out of their dreams and escape their non-reality world to get to meet the others. so they cross paths and never meet – imagine.
some theorists also say that they're supposed to meet through their dreams... and they did. it sounds impossible to direct i rlly think most of the nct member's relationship are jumbled; take for an example, jungwoo, yukhei and winwin's relationship. first off, boss mv is a dream wherein they met. the final moment winwin had with nct 127 happened at the same time when jungwoo showed up and entered nct 127. then winwin unknowingly fell into the wormhole ('unknowingly' = they didnt know until it was reported in dream launch) and met yukhei on the other world. + another example is ten. ten is uncertainly the bridge between all four units. he most likely got to meet nct dream in dream in a dream mv, but no, he didn't, probably bcs the dream in a dream setting led to another world. nct dream, through that purple-lighted room, managed to go through that house. and later on, ten is shown standing on the house but in ruins. ten, through new heroes setting, met wayv and joined in their world. at the beginning, ten shows up in 7th sense (!! everyone in 7th sense is dreaming ok).
black on black is probably a dream. of course it's a dream, clarified by those black balancy balls and stuffs, and it's a dream where they're all together as they wished so.
!!! just to clarify that the ending of all of these mess is supposed to be kun's dream from nctmentary. listen here they're supposed to go through rough roads and such like the staircase from kun's dream before they all meet again in one place, not separated by planets. so, in conclusion, wherever they meet alltogether as one, it's their world.
RWBY Volume 6 Episode 7 “The Grimm Reaper” MicksteRecap-BEHOLD THE NICE BACKGROUNDS!
Hey everybody, last night’s Christmas party was a DOOZY, sorry I’m late-TIME FOR THE MICKSTERECAP!
IT STARTS OFF-
-THE SANCTUARY of the spring relic...which...Salem can just enter any time she wants apparently! Man, maiden powers AND a secret hideout, that’s awesome!
Hell, she can even invite FRIENDS inside! Just get some chairs, a TV and surround sound, you’ll have a chill pad!
Either way Cinder gives Neo the low-down about how Salem ordered Cinder to take Ruby alive NOT dead-ALL WHILE-
2:58 ...she...plays with her knife, like a total creep! I ain’t judging, we all gotta stim from time to time.
Anyway, Cinder tells Neo that while she can’t kill Ruby, NEO hasn’t taken ANYONE’S orders, and then the two become best murder friends forever!
Because we ALL KNOW how well the LAST time Cinder made a deal with a recurring antagonist...also holy crap Neo’s tiny, she’s like a murderous Felicity Smoak!
A THEN CUT TO-
3:38 THE BRIDGE FROM EVERY SAMURAI STORY! Don’t lie, you got Samurai Jack flashbacks to. It is HERE WE SEE-
-absoLUTE cosplay bait! LOOK AT THAT-its glorious!
And you just KNOW what’s comin’ next folks-
4:20 ONE ON ONE MONSTER FIGHT BITCHES!
Maria starts out with a bridge back-flip-
THEN-does a gun-scythe-kama toss-
-AND LANDS THAT SHIT IN THE SHOULDER-but wait-THERE’S MORE!
SHE FLICKS THE PURPLE SWITCH-oh Mauvisto we fear your dark power-WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE-
-MAGNETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC SCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTHES-bitch! Most likely due to gravity dust! She then uses it to FLOAT HER ASS up to the bird!
“I’M MARY POPPINS Y’ALL!”
She SPINS IN for a shoulder strike-
AND LANDS-in the shoulder! Lot of shoulder strikes with this bird.
She then steers it through the anime mountains-
THROWS-one of her kamas-IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIR-
-creating what LOOKS like a fixed point of gravity-
-PULLS back her weapons forcing the bird into a quick-stop turn, STEERING THAT FUCKER-
-RIGHT INTO A MOUNTAIN! FUCK YES-pro Huntresses rule! She also LANDS that bitch-
-RIGHT INTO A DITCH! RHYMING!
She then pulls one of her kmas out and everything is fine-OR IS IT?!
Nevermore: Hey.
Maria: Oh...hey.
Nevermore: Whatcha doin?
Maria: OH-I was just going to leave.
Nevermore: That’s nice, but how about I eat you instead?
After that kerfuffle, Maria than just goes on her merry way-
Tock: SURPRISE BITCH-I’m a crocodile!
We are then treated to one of the shortest...and MOST epic action exchanges of ALL time! Which starts out with THIS-
Maria: I don’t think you know who I am.
Tock: Course I do!
Clock: *Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind-DING!*
Tock: YOUR the Grim reaper!
AND YES-there are screws in her croco-teeth, don’t question it, its just awesome.
Tock: And THESE are the last 60 seconds of your life.
*SHING*
6:10*GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*
And yes, the action scene ends exactly SIXTY seconds after she starts glowing, AS WELL as the clock stopping sixty seconds after it officially started and its absolutely brilliant-TO THE FIGHT-
6:13-Tock starts with a straightforward slash-BUT Grimm Reaper Maria blocks it like a boss-BUT-
6:16 -TOCK knocks away one of her mini-scythes-BUT MARIA-
-NOT ONLY gravetizes her other scythe back to her-
-BUT WHILE BLOCKING SHOTGUN CHARLIE-damn she was great in her prime. THEN-
-she slashes Machete Jackson RIGHT in the face-
6:27 Knocks away BOTH of these punks-
6:30 While knocking Hammer Armond down-LIKE A BOSS! BUT THEN-
6:31 TOCK comes in with the double slash, grinning like a mad woman.
Jackson and Tock get the jump on her, one zigs, the other zags, PROMPTING MARIA TO ACTIVATE-
6:44 BO-STAFF MODE-now it has DOUBLE the attack power!
She goes in striking Jackson-
-BUT TOCK-gets up close and personal-
6:47
And in a SPLIT second-
JACKSON’S back up and tag-teams Maria with Tock...wait, not like that.
Maria knocks back Jackson again, she zigs, Tock zags, LOTSA ZIGGING AND ZAGGIN UP IN THIS
ALL THE WHILE-the same tick-tick ticking is going on-OOOH-its like a Venture bros scene!
Maria looks like she’s got the upper hand-BUT TOCK-
6:56 BITES THE FUCK THROUGH her battle staff-
6:57 HEADBUTTS AWAY-her mask-
-where it SHATTERS in mid-air, holy SHIT! ALSO-Maria is pretty-HUZZAH!
Either way this LEADS TOCK-
7:01 -to slash her GOD DAMNED eyes open! All. Within. 60. SECONDS! HOLY SHIT!
Tock high off her victory then starts gloating to the no de-eyed Grimm reaper, mocking her as weak while Maria blindly shoots her gun-scythes-WHILE ALSO-
-throwing one of her weapons behind her, which Tock isn’t worried about at all...for some reason.
*CLICK*
*KER-SLASH* Dead...presumably.
Never doubt the power of purple folks.
8:04 FLASH FORWARD to the present, where everyone in the cart being pulled by a SINGLE motorcycle deals with the fact that they were travelling with THE Grimm Reaper this whole time. Seriously Qrow straight up geeks out a little to, admitting he based his scythe on her weapon...well...just the scythe apparently, also his gun is more of a shot-gun where as hers seemed more like glocks AH whatever.
Maria than gives herself a BIG OLD pity party, mentioning that even after she got her new fancy robot eyes she couldn’t bare to go back out into the field, fearing the danger that comes with battle and...I KNOW she’s clearly going to be Ruby’s mentor, but I ALSO hope she bonds with Yang as well, as holy SHIT she’s similar to Yang.
Both lost appendages during battle, both had said appendages replaced with mechanical accouterments, and BOTH are hilarious! HELL for wall we know Maria also had an almost-girlfriend who ran out on her, another almost girlfriend who got shipped off to Narnia, and a little sister who kept battling because CRIME!
Hell, she PRACTICALLY acknowledges it-
9:11 Maria: Because some of you are clearly stronger than me all ready.
Yang: *Sad ephiphany face*.
DAMN am I glad she’s part of the group!
After Maria avoids Ruby’s plea to train her to use her magical Grimm zapping super eyes-WE GETS A SCROLL CALL-
Jaune: OH MY GOD I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU ARE YOU ALIVE?!
Ruby: I answered the SCROLL Jaune, the answer is clearly yes.
Jaune: I just miss my friends.
-INFORMING THEM ALL-that they are RIGHT CLOSE TO-
10:20 BASINGSE-I mean-THE WALLED CITY OF ELDIA-wait not...ARGUS-yeah Argus! But FIRST Team RWBYQOM needs to FACE-
-THE STEEPEST HILL ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET! I mean...LOOK AT THAT THING-its huge! Also I love the design of the trees and the grass, its just beautiful!
BUT-through the magic of television-
-THEY’RE ALL READY THERE! Seriously I bet it took them like TWO hours inching down that path. I know construction is always lax in Remnant due to Grimm attacks, but someone NEEDS to make that path safer!
But enough about that-BEHOLD-
-THIS CASTLE WALL-with lots of armed guards on the top! No Titan is gonna sneak up on the city on THEIR watch!
But enough abou that-ITS HUG TIME:
And a billion shippers hearts, just exploded.
After the love fest, we get-ARGUS SCENERY THROUGH WORLD-BUILDING:
Look at all this, Rooster Teeth’s background budget got WAY bank and they are FLAUNTING that wealth!
This Objects and Oddities lady is my favorite, she’s just SO pissed off, I wander why?
We also see-
-A MOVIE THEATER-showing such brand spanking new films, INCLUDING-
TRYST IN THE MIST-a raunchy tale about a romantic affair that takes place IN THE MIST! Given 4 stars by “Incredibly specific affair based movie” monthly!
...a...MOVIE within a movie apparently...weird.
DEMON IN THE DEEP-one of several monster movies that SOMEHOW exist on Earth-RWBY. I’m just saying, with all the REAL monster attacks, wouldn’t monster movies seem insensitive? SPEAKING of insensitive-
THE FALL...of Beacon...I know I’m not the first to say this but too soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.
So bla bla bla, Argus was made to promote trade between kingdoms, bla bla bla, Atlas military has all but abandoned it bla bla bla-LET’S MEET JAUNE’S SISTER!
LOOK AT HER! FEEL-her youthful and adorable mom energy!
And the REST of the episode is PRETTY MUCH just an assortment of adorable images.
Yang playing airplane with baby Adrien(THE CUTENESS).
THE THREE ARMED-flopping Jaune-IN ALL of its glory!
AN INSULTED BOY-
12:56 -and the women who adore him-
AND ALL THE ARC SIBLINGS:
Okay I don’t know HOW many fan-artists are left on Tumblr due to the incoming purge, but I want some ADORABLE web-comics based on this STAT! LOOK AT MINI-JAUNE-he’s so CUTE! And just when you things couldn’t get ANY better-
13:22
Sapphron: Everyone, this is my wife Terra Cotta.
BAM-twenty gay-TEEN mother fuckers!
SUBTLE-Renora sandwich time! Look at these two, YOUNG LOVE mother fuckers!
But more importantly Terra asks THE REAL questions-
Terra: Is that (Bringing students along on dangerous Huntsman missions) even legal?
Qrow: Er, uh, of course!
And I just...LOVE that both Maria and Ruby have the exact same looks on their faces, their both thinking “The closest thing we have to a real chaperone is a bipolar alcoholic...this is what my life has become”.
After a nice little sandwich lunch, and learning that Terra Cotta-Arc is a hardworking radio engineer being unjustly accused of bad mistakes(if there’s ANYONE to blame its Lionheart), while team RWBY decides the best way to GO to Atlas is with the LOCAL MILITARY BASE-which I’m sure will accept them with OPEN AR-
SLAM
Ooooooooooooooooooor not. Hey, its only HALF way through the season, they gots PLENTY of time!
SUMMATION-this easily had one of the BEST action sequences of the ENTIRE season, the backgrounds were BEAUTIFUL and there were just so many cute scenes-TEN OUT OF TEN for me! AND WITH THAT-that’s the end of MICKSTERECAP-if you liked what you read, message me if you want to donate to my Paypal or Ko-Fi. With that I will see you NEXT WEEK-on Mick the Nerd’s a.k.a. Yoshimickster’s MICKSTERECAP! Sorry this one was a bit late!
SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAY There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARD All right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARD Next! GUARD (taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARD That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARD Get up! Come on! HEAD GUARD Twenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR (crying) This cage is too small. DONKEY Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMAN Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEY Oh! HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? GIPETTO This little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIO I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARD Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIO Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARD Next! What have you got? OLD WOMAN Well, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARD Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMAN Oh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARD Well? OLD WOMAN Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARD That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMAN No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARD Get her out of my sight. OLD WOMAN No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEY Hey! I can fly! PETER PAN He can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGS He can fly! HEAD GUARD He can talk! DONKEY Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARD Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDS He's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARD You there. Ogre! SHREK Aye? HEAD GUARD By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREK Oh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEY Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREK Are you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEY Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREK Oh, that's great. Really. DONKEY Man, it's good to be free. SHREK Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEY But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly. DONKEY Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey continues to talk, so Shrek removes his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. SHREK Why are you following me? DONKEY I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause I'm all alone, There's no one here beside me, My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me, But you gotta have faith... SHREK Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. DONKEY Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. SHREK Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? DONKEY (looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really tall? SHREK No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? DONKEY Nope. SHREK Really? DONKEY Really, really. SHREK Oh. DONKEY Man, I like you. What's you name? SHREK Uh, Shrek. DONKEY Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. (They come over a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.) Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? SHREK That would be my home. DONKEY Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess you don't entertain much, do you? SHREK I like my privacy. DONKEY You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? SHREK Uh, what? DONKEY Can I stay with you, please? SHREK (sarcastically) Of course! DONKEY Really? SHREK No. DONKEY Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. (pause while he looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! SHREK Okay! Okay! But one night only. DONKEY Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage) SHREK What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) No! No! DONKEY This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. SHREK Oh! DONKEY Where do, uh, I sleep? SHREK (irritated) Outside! DONKEY Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me... SHREK'S COTTAGE - NIGHT Shrek is getting ready for dinner. He sits himself down and lights a candle made out of earwax. He begins to eat when he hears a noise. He stands up with a huff. SHREK (to Donkey) I thought I told you to stay outside. DONKEY (from the window) I am outside. There is another noise and Shrek turns to find the person that made the noise. He sees several shadows moving. He finally turns and spots 3 blind mice on his table. BLIND MOUSE1 Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? BLIND MOUSE2 It's not home, but it'll do just fine. GORDO (bouncing on a slug) What a lovely bed. SHREK Got ya. (Grabs a mouse, but it escapes and lands on his shoulder.) GORDO I found some cheese. (bites Shrek's ear) SHREK Ow! GORDO Blah! Awful stuff. BLIND MOUSE1 Is that you, Gordo? GORDO How did you know? SHREK Enough! (he grabs the 3 mice) What are you doing in my house? (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Hey! (he turns and sees the Seven Dwarves with Snow White on the table.) Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. DWARF Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. SHREK Huh? Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. The Big Bad Wolf is sitting in the bed. The wolf just looks at him. BIG BAD WOLF What? TIME LAPSE Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door. SHREK I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do get a little privacy? (He opens the front door to throw the Wolf out and he sees that all the collected Fairy Tale Creatures are on his land.) Oh, no. No! No! The 3 bears sit around the fire, the pied piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can land...etc. SHREK What are you doing in my swamp? (this echoes and everyone falls silent.) Gasps are heard all around. The 3 good fairies hide inside a tent. SHREK All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! Quickly. Come on! (more dwarves run inside the house) No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. (they shut the door on him) Oh! (turns to look at Donkey) DONKEY Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. PINOCCHIO Oh, gosh, no one invited us. SHREK What? PINOCCHIO We were forced to come here. SHREK (flabbergasted) By who? LITTLE PIG Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he...signed an eviction notice. SHREK (heavy sigh) All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Everyone looks around at each other but no one answers. DONKEY Oh, I do. I know where he is. SHREK Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? DONKEY Me! Me! SHREK Anyone? DONKEY Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! SHREK (sigh) Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! (Pause. Then the crowd goes wild.) Oh! (to Donkey) You! You're comin' with me. DONKEY All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! DONKEY (singing) On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get on the road again. SHREK What did I say about singing? DONKEY Can I whistle? SHREK No. DONKEY Can I hum it? SHREK All right, hum it. Donkey begins to hum 'On the Road Again'. DULOC - KITCHEN A masked man is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually dunking him in a glass of milk. Lord Farquaad walks in. FARQUAAD That's enough. He's ready to talk. The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk and slammed down onto a cookie sheet. Farquaad laughs as he walks over to the table. However when he reaches the table we see that it goes up to his eyes. He clears his throat and the table is lowered. FARQUAAD (he picks up the Gingerbread Man's legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. GINGERBREAD MAN You are a monster. FARQUAAD I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? GINGERBREAD MAN Eat me! (He spits milk into Farquaad's eye.) FARQUAAD I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll...(he makes as if to pull off the Gingerbread Man's buttons) GINGERBREAD MAN No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. FARQUAAD All right then. Who's hiding them? GINGERBREAD MAN Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? FARQUAAD The muffin man? GINGERBREAD MAN The muffin man. FARQUAAD Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? GINGERBREAD MAN Well, she's married to the muffin man. FARQUAAD The muffin man? GINGERBREAD MAN The muffin man! FARQUAAD She's married to the muffin man. The door opens and the Head Guard walks in. HEAD GUARD My lord! We found it. FARQUAAD Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. More guards enter carrying something that is covered by a sheet. They hang up whatever it is and remove the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror. GINGERBREAD MAN (in awe) Ohhhh... FARQUAAD Magic mirror... GINGERBREAD MAN Don't tell him anything! (Farquaad picks him up and dumps him into a trash can with a lid.) No! FARQUAAD Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? MIRROR Well, technically you're not a king. FARQUAAD Uh, Thelonius. (Thelonius holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist.) You were saying? MIRROR What I mean is you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. FARQUAAD Go on. MIRROR (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. (shows picture of Cinderella) Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! (shows picture of Snow White) And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! (Shows picture of Princess Fiona) So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? GUARDS Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three! FARQUAAD Three? One? Three? THELONIUS Three! (holds up 2 fingers) Pick number three, my lord! FARQUAAD Okay, okay, uh, number three! MIRROR Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go... MIRROR But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. FARQUAAD I'll do it. MIRROR Yes, but after sunset... FARQUAAD Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. (smiles evilly) DuLoc Parking Lot - Lancelot Section Shrek and Donkey come out of the field that is right by the parking lot. The castle itself is about 40 stories high. DONKEY But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. SHREK So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. DONKEY Uh-huh. That's the place. SHREK Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? (He laughs, but then groans as Donkey doesn't get the joke. He continues walking through the parking lot.) DONKEY Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. MAN Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. SHREK Hey, you! (The attendant, who is wearing a giant head that looks like Lord Farquaad, screams and begins running through the rows of rope to get to the front gate to get away from Shrek.) Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - (He sighs and then begins walking straight through the rows. The attendant runs into a wall and falls down. Shrek and Donkey look at him then continue on into DuLoc.) DULOC They look around but all is quiet. SHREK It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? DONKEY Hey, look at this! Donkey runs over and pulls a lever that is attached to a box marked 'Information'. The music winds up and then the box doors open up. There are little wooden people inside and they begin to sing. WOODEN PEOPLE Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect place. Suddenly a camera takes Donkey and Shrek's picture. DONKEY Wow! Let's do that again! (makes ready to run over and pull the lever again) SHREK (grabs Donkey's tail and holds him still) No. No. No, no, no! No. They hear a trumpet fanfare and head over to the arena. FARQUAAD Brave knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove himself... As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena Donkey is humming the DuLoc theme song. SHREK All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. DONKEY Sorry about that. FARQUAAD That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. (cheers) Let the tournament begin! (He notices Shrek) Oh! What is that? It's hideous! SHREK (turns to look at Donkey and then back at Farquaad) Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. FARQUAAD Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have it him! MEN Get him! SHREK Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. (bumps into a table where there are mugs of beer) CROWD Go ahead! Get him! SHREK (holds up a mug of beer) Can't we just settle this over a pint? CROWD Kill the beast! SHREK No? All right then. (drinks the beer) Come on! He takes the mug and smashes the spigot off the large barrel of beer behind him. The beer comes rushing out drenching the other men and wetting the ground. It's like mud now. Shrek slides past the men and picks up a spear that one of the men dropped. As Shrek begins to fight Donkey hops up onto one of the larger beer barrels. It breaks free of it's ropes and begins to roll. Donkey manages to squish two men into the mud. There is so much fighting going on here I'm not going to go into detail. Suffice to say that Shrek kicks butt. DONKEY Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! Shrek comes over and bangs a man's head up against Donkeys. Shrek gets up on the ropes and interacts with the crowd. SHREK Yeah! A man tries to sneak up behind Shrek, but Shrek turns in time and sees him. WOMAN The chair! Give him the chair! Shrek smashes a chair over the guys back. Finally all the men are down. Donkey kicks one of them in the helmet, and the ding sounds the end of the match. The audience goes wild. SHREK Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! (laughs) The laughter stops as all of the guards turn their weapons on Shrek. HEAD GUARD Shall I give the order, sir? FARQUAAD No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! SHREK What? FARQUAAD Congratulations, ogre. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. SHREK Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. FARQUAAD Your swamp? SHREK Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures! FARQUAAD Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. SHREK Exactly the way it was? FARQUAAD Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. SHREK And the squatters? FARQUAAD As good as gone. SHREK What kind of quest? Time Lapse - Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from DuLoc. Shrek is munching on an onion. DONKEY Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right? SHREK You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. DONKEY I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. SHREK Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? DONKEY Uh, no, not really, no. SHREK For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. DONKEY Example? SHREK Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. (he holds out his onion) DONKEY (sniffs the onion) They stink? SHREK Yes - - No! DONKEY They make you cry? SHREK No! DONKEY You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. SHREK No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. (he heaves a sigh and then walks off) DONKEY (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. SHREK I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. DONKEY You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious. SHREK No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. DONKEY Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. SHREK You know, I think I preferred your humming. DONKEY Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek trying to put the campfire out the next day and having a bit of a problem, so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out. DRAGON'S KEEP Shrek and Donkey are walking up to the keep that's supposed to house Princess Fiona. It appears to look like a giant volcano. DONKEY (sniffs) Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything. SHREK Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We must be getting close. DONKEY Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. They climb up the side of the volcano/keep and look down. There is a small piece of rock right in the center and that is where the castle is. It is surrounded by boiling lava. It looks very foreboding. SHREK Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. (laughs...then the laugh turns into a groan) DONKEY Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said ogres have layers? SHREK Oh, aye. DONKEY Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. SHREK Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. DONKEY You know what I mean. SHREK You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. DONKEY No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! SHREK Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. DONKEY Really? SHREK Really, really. DONKEY Okay, that makes me feel so much better. SHREK Just keep moving. And don't look down. DONKEY Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. (he steps through a rotting board and ends up looking straight down into the lava) Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! SHREK But you're already halfway. DONKEY But I know that half is safe! SHREK Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. DONKEY Shrek, no! Wait! SHREK Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me? (bounces and sways the bridge) DONKEY Don't do that! SHREK Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? (bounces the bridge again) DONKEY Yes, that! SHREK Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. (continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge) DONKEY No, Shrek! No! Stop it! SHREK You said do it! I'm doin' it. DONKEY I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. (steps onto solid ground) Oh! SHREK That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. (walks towards the castle) DONKEY Cool. So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? SHREK Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. (chuckles) DONKEY I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. INSIDE THE CASTLE DONKEY You afraid? SHREK No. DONKEY But... SHREK Shh. DONKEY Oh, good. Me neither. (sees a skeleton and gasps) 'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. SHREK Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. DONKEY Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess. SHREK (putting on a helmet) The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. DONKEY What makes you think she'll be there? SHREK I read it in a book once. (walks off) DONKEY Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. (walks off) EMPTY ROOM Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room. DONKEY I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. ELSEWHERE Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window. SHREK Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the... DONKEY (os) Dragon! Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again. Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes fire. SHREK Donkey, look out! (he manages to get a hold of the dragons tail and holds on) Got ya! The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying on the floor. DONKEY Oh! Aah! Aah! Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small part of the bridge he's on. DONKEY No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh, what large teeth you have. (the dragon growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. (the dragon begins fluttering her eyes at him) What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh...(the dragon blows a smoke ring in the shape of a heart right at him, and he coughs) I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! (the dragon picks him up with her teeth and carries him off) No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA'S ROOM Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Fiona so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep. Shrek turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Fiona for a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders and shakes her away. FIONA Oh! Oh! SHREK Wake up! FIONA What? SHREK Are you Princess Fiona? FIONA I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. SHREK Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! FIONA But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? SHREK Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. FIONA Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. SHREK You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? FIONA (smiles) Mm-hmm. Shrek breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down the hallway. FIONA But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! SHREK I don't think so. FIONA Can I at least know the name of my champion? SHREK Uh, Shrek. FIONA Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds out a handkerchief) I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. SHREK Thanks! Suddenly they hear the dragon roar. FIONA (surprised)You didn't slay the dragon? SHREK It's on my to-do list. Now come on! (takes off running and drags Fiona behind him.) FIONA But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did. SHREK Yeah, right before they burst into flame. FIONA That's not the point. (Shrek suddenly stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek ignores her and heads for a wooden door off to the side.) Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there. SHREK Well, I have to save my ass. FIONA What kind of knight are you? SHREK One of a kind. (opens the door into the throne room) DONKEY (os) Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned. (laughs worriedly) (we see him up close and from a distance as Shrek sneaks into the room) I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! Shrek grabs a chain that's connected to the chandelier and swings toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again. He looks up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head. He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps Donkey out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss him. Instead the dragon kisses Shreks' butt. She opens her eyes and roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, but it's too big and it goes over her head and forms a sort of collar for her. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey take off running. Very 'Matrix' style. Shrek grabs Donkey and then grabs Princess Fiona as he runs past her. DONKEY Hi, Princess! FIONA It talks! SHREK Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Shrek spots a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a crack in the stone and it hits Shrek right in the groin. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide he stumbles off and walks lightly. SHREK Oh! Shrek gets them close to the exit and sets down Donkey and Fiona. SHREK Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon. Shrek grabs a sword and heads back toward the interior of the castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that is still around the dragons neck. SHREK (echoing) Run! They all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. The dragons breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk the dragon back and she's unable to get to them. Our gang climbs quickly to safety as the dragon looks angry and then gives a sad whimper as she watches Donkey walk away. FIONA (sliding down the 'volcano' hill) You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. (behind her Donkey falls down the hill) You're - - You're wonderful. You're... (turns and sees Shrek fall down the hill and bump into Donkey) a little unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thy heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. (Donkey clears his throat.) And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? DONKEY I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. FIONA The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. SHREK Uh, no. FIONA Why not? SHREK I have helmet hair. FIONA Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. SHREK No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st. FIONA But how will you kiss me? SHREK What? (to Donkey) That wasn't in the job description. DONKEY Maybe it's a perk. FIONA No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. DONKEY Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you true love? FIONA Well, yes. Both Donkey and Shrek burst out laughing. DONKEY You think Shrek is your true love! FIONA What is so funny? SHREK Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?Fiona: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your helmet. SHREK Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. FIONA Just take off the helmet. SHREK I'm not going to. FIONA Take it off. SHREK No! FIONA Now! SHREK Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness. (takes off his helmet) FIONA You- - You're a- - an ogre. SHREK Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. FIONA Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre. SHREK Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you. FIONA Then why didn't he come rescue me? SHREK Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. FIONA But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his- - his pet. DONKEY Well, so much for noble steed. SHREK You're not making my job any easier. FIONA I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. SHREK Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? (ominous) I'm a delivery boy. (he swiftly picks her up and swings her over his shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes) FIONA You wouldn't dare. Put me down! SHREK Ya comin', Donkey? DONKEY I'm right behind ya. FIONA Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! WOODS A little time has passed and Fiona has calmed down. She just hangs there limply while Shrek carries her. DONKEY Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? FIONA You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when you find your...(Shrek drops her on the ground) Hey! The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. DONKEY You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! FIONA And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? SHREK Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. (he and Donkey laugh) Shrek then proceeds to splash water onto his face to wash off the dust and grime. DONKEY I don't know. There are those who think little of him. (they laugh again) Fiona: Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. SHREK Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. FIONA (looks at the setting sun) Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp? SHREK No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. FIONA But there's robbers in the woods. DONKEY Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is starting to sound good. SHREK Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. FIONA I need to find somewhere to camp now! Both Donkey and Shrek's ears lower as they shrink away from her. MOUNTAIN CLIFF Shrek has found a cave that appears to be in good order. He shoves a stone boulder out of the way to reveal the cave. SHREK Hey! Over here. DONKEY Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. FIONA No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. SHREK Homey touches? Like what? (he hears a tearing noise and looks over at Fiona who has torn the bark off of a tree.) FIONA A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. (goes into the cave and puts the bark door up behind her) DONKEY You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. FIONA (os) I said good night! Shrek looks at Donkey for a second and then goes to move the boulder back in front of the entrance to the cave with Fiona still inside. DONKEY Shrek, What are you doing? SHREK (laughs) I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding. LATER THAT NIGHT Shrek and Donkey are sitting around a campfire. They are staring up into the sky as Shrek points out certain star constellations to Donkey. SHREK And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. DONKEY Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? SHREK The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for. DONKEY I know you're making this up. SHREK No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. DONKEY That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. SHREK You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. DONKEY (heaves a big sigh) Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? SHREK Our swamp? DONKEY You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. SHREK We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. DONKEY You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. SHREK No, do ya think? DONKEY Are you hidin' something? SHREK Never mind, Donkey. DONKEY Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? SHREK No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things. DONKEY Why don't you want to talk about it? SHREK Why do you want to talk about it? DONKEY Why are you blocking? SHREK I'm not blocking. DONKEY Oh, yes, you are. SHREK Donkey, I'm warning you. DONKEY Who you trying to keep out? SHREK Everyone! Okay? DONKEY (pause) Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere. (grins) At this point Fiona pulls the 'door' away from the entrance to the cave and peaks out. Neither of the guys see her. SHREK Oh! For the love of Pete! (gets up and walks over to the edge of the cliff and sits down) DONKEY What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway? SHREK Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. DONKEY You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. SHREK Yeah, I know. DONKEY So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? SHREK Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying. DONKEY Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? Fiona puts the door back. SHREK That's the moon. DONKEY Oh, okay. DuLoc - Farquaad's Bedroom The camera pans over a lot of wedding stuff. Soft music plays in the background. Farquaad is in bed, watching as the Magic Mirror shows him Princess Fiona. FARQUAAD Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. MIRROR Hmph. The Mirror rewinds and begins to play again from the beginning. FARQUAAD Ah. Perfect. Farquaad looks down at his bare chest and pulls the sheet up to cover himself as though Fiona could see him as he gazes sheepishly at her image in the mirror. MORNING Fiona walks out of the cave. She glances at Shrek and Donkey who are still sleeping. She wanders off into the woods and comes across a blue bird. She begins to sing. The bird sings along with her. She hits higher and higher notes and the bird struggles to keep up with her. Suddenly the pressure of the note is too big and the bird explodes. Fiona looks a little sheepish, but she eyes the eggs that the bird left behind. Time lapse, Fiona is now cooking the eggs for breakfast. Shrek and Donkey are still sleeping. Shrek wakes up and looks at Fiona. Donkey's talking in his sleep. DONKEY (quietly) Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. Come on, baby. I said I like it. SHREK Donkey, wake up. (shakes him) DONKEY Huh? What? SHREK Wake up. DONKEY What? (stretches and yawns) FIONA Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs? DONKEY Oh, good morning, Princess! Fiona gets up and sets the eggs down in front of them. SHREK What's all this about? FIONA You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. SHREK Uh, thanks. Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips. FIONA Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. (walks off) LATER They are once again on their way. They are walking through the forest. Shrek belches. DONKEY Shrek! SHREK What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. (laughs) DONKEY Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. Fiona belches FIONA Thanks. DONKEY She's as nasty as you are. SHREK (chuckles) You know, you're not exactly what I expected. FIONA Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. She smiles and then continues walking, singing softly. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a man swings down and swoops Fiona up into a tree. ROBIN HOOD La liberte! Hey! SHREK Princess! FIONA (to Robin Hood) What are you doing? ROBIN HOOD Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from this green...(kisses up her arm while Fiona pulls back in disgust)...beast. SHREK Hey! That's my princess! Go find you own! ROBIN HOOD Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? FIONA (getting fed up) Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! ROBIN HOOD Oh! Of course! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduce myself. Oh, Merry Men. (laughs) Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merry men pop out from the bushes. They begin to sing Robin's theme song. MERRY MEN Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo. ROBIN HOOD I steal from the rich and give to the needy. MERRY MEN He takes a wee percentage, ROBIN HOOD But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels, man, I'm good. MERRY MEN What a guy, Monsieur Hood. ROBIN HOOD Break it down. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid... MERRY MEN What he's basically saying is he likes to get... ROBIN HOOD Paid. So...When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. That's bad. MERRY MEN That's bad. ROBIN HOOD When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad. MERRY MEN He's mad, he's really, really mad. ROBIN HOOD I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart, keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start... There is a grunt as Fiona swings down from the tree limb and knocks Robin Hood unconscious. FIONA Man, that was annoying! Shrek looks at her in admiration. MERRY MAN Oh, you little- - (shoots an arrow at Fiona but she ducks out of the way) The arrow flies toward Donkey who jumps into Shrek's arms to get out of the way. The arrow proceeds to just bounce off a tree. Another fight sequence begins and Fiona gives a karate yell and then proceeds to beat the crap out of the Merry Men. There is a very interesting 'Matrix' moment here when Fiona pauses in mid-air to fix her hair. Finally all of the Merry Men are down, and Fiona begins walking away. FIONA Uh, shall we? SHREK Hold the phone. (drops Donkey and begins walking after Fiona) Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from? FIONA What? SHREK That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that? FIONA Well...(laughs) when one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a...(gasps and points) there's an arrow in your butt! SHREK What? (turns and looks) Oh, would you look at that? (he goes to pull it out but flinches because it's tender) FIONA Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. DONKEY (walking up) Why? What's wrong? FIONA Shrek's hurt. DONKEY Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. SHREK Donkey, I'm okay. DONKEY You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the Heimlich? FIONA Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. DONKEY Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! SHREK & FIONA Donkey! DONKEY Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. (runs off) SHREK What are the flowers for? FIONA (like it's obvious) For getting rid of Donkey. SHREK Ah. FIONA Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. (gives the arrow a little pull) SHREK (jumps away) Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'. As they continue to talk Fiona keeps going after the arrow and Shrek keeps dodging her hands. FIONA I'm sorry, but it has to come out. SHREK No, it's tender. FIONA Now, hold on. SHREK What you're doing is the opposite of help. FIONA Don't move. SHREK Look, time out. FIONA Would you...(grunts as Shrek puts his hand over her face to stop her from getting at the arrow) Okay. What do you propose we do? ELSEWHERE Donkey is still looking for the special flower. DONKEY Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns. SHREK (os) Ow! DONKEY Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! (rips a flower off a nearby bush that just happens to be a blue flower with red thorns) THE FOREST PATH SHREK Ow! Not good. FIONA Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. (Shrek grunts as she pulls) It's just about... SHREK Ow! Ohh! (he jerks and manages to fall over with Fiona on top of him) DONKEY Ahem. SHREK (throwing Fiona off of him) Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - DONKEY Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay? SHREK Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just- - (Fiona pulls the arrow out) Ugh! (he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile) Ow! DONKEY Hey, what's that? (nervous chuckle) That's...is that blood? Donkey faints. Shrek walks over and picks him up as they continue on their way. There is a montage of scenes as the group heads back to DuLoc. Shrek crawling up to the top of a tree to make it fall over a small brook so that Fiona won't get wet. Shrek then gets up as Donkey is just about to cross the tree and the tree swings back into it's upright position and Donkey flies off. Shrek swatting and a bunch of flies and mosquitoes. Fiona grabs a nearby spiderweb that's on a tree branch and runs through the field swinging it around to catch the bugs. She then hands it to Shrek who begins eating like it's a treat. As he walks off she licks her fingers. Shrek catching a toad and blowing it up like a balloon and presenting it to Fiona. Fiona catching a snake, blowing it up, fashioning it into a balloon animal and presenting it to Shrek. The group arriving at a windmill that is near DuLoc. WINDMILL SHREK There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you. FIONA That's DuLoc? DONKEY Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really...(Shrek steps on his hoof) Ow! SHREK Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on. FIONA Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey. SHREK What? FIONA I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. DONKEY What are you talking about? I'm fine. FIONA (kneels to look him in the eyes) That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. (pause) Dead. SHREK You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down? FIONA Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. DONKEY I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look, (turns his neck in a very sharp way until his head is completely sideways) Ow! See? SHREK Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. FIONA I'll get the firewood. DONKEY Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! (looks down and yelps) I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug. SUNSET Shrek has built a fire and is cooking the rest of dinner while Fiona eats. FIONA Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this? SHREK Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style. FIONA No kidding. Well, this is delicious. SHREK Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew. (chuckles) Fiona looks at DuLoc and sighs. FIONA I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. SHREK Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it. FIONA (smiles) I'd like that. They smiles at each other. SHREK Um, Princess? FIONA Yes, Shrek? SHREK I, um, I was wondering...are you...(sighs) Are you gonna eat that? DONKEY (chuckles) Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. FIONA (jumps up) Sunset? Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late. SHREK What? DONKEY Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? FIONA Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. DONKEY Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. Shrek sighs FIONA Good night. SHREK Good night. Fiona goes inside the windmill and closes the door. Donkey looks at Shrek with a new eye. DONKEY Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here. SHREK Oh, what are you talkin' about? DONKEY I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it. SHREK You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. DONKEY Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel. SHREK I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a princess, and I'm - - DONKEY An ogre? SHREK Yeah. An ogre. DONKEY Hey, where you goin'? SHREK To get... move firewood. (sighs) Donkey looks over at the large pile of firewood there already is. TIME LAPSE Donkey opens the door to the Windmill and walks in. Fiona is nowhere to be seen. DONKEY Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? Fiona looks at Donkey from the shadows, but we can't see her. DONKEY It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. Suddenly Fiona falls from the railing. She gets up only she doesn't look like herself. She looks like an ogre and Donkey starts freaking out. DONKEY Aah! FIONA Oh, no! DONKEY No, help! FIONA Shh! DONKEY Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA No, it's okay. It's okay. DONKEY What did you do with the princess? FIONA Donkey, I'm the princess. DONKEY Aah! FIONA It's me, in this body. DONKEY Oh, my God! You ate the princess. (to her stomach) Can you hear me? FIONA Donkey! DONKEY (still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! FIONA No! DONKEY Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! FIONA Shh. DONKEY Shrek! FIONA This is me. Donkey looks into her eyes as she pets his muzzle, and he quiets down. DONKEY Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different. FIONA I'm ugly, okay? DONKEY Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - FIONA No. I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember. DONKEY What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. FIONA It only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form." DONKEY Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. FIONA It's a spell. (sigh) When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. (begins to cry) DONKEY All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. FIONA But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. DONKEY Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? FIONA I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. DONKEY But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you got a lot in common. FIONA Shrek? OUTSIDE Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand. SHREK (to himself) Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh...(sighs) I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. He walks up to the door and pauses outside when he hears Donkey and Fiona talking. FIONA (os) I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. Shrek steps back in shock. FIONA (os) My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Shrek heaves a deep sigh. He throws the flower down and walks away. INSIDE FIONA Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. DONKEY You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. FIONA No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. DONKEY What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? FIONA Promise you won't tell. Promise! DONKEY All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. (goes outside) I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'. Fiona comes out the door and watches him walk away. She looks down and spots the sunflower. She picks it up before going back inside the windmill. MORNING Donkey is asleep. Shrek is nowhere to be seen. Fiona is still awake. She is plucking petals from the sunflower. FIONA I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. (she quickly runs to the door and goes outside) Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want...(she looks and sees the rising sun, and as the sun crests the sky she turns back into a human.) Just as she looks back at the sun she sees Shrek stomping towards her. FIONA Shrek. Are you all right? SHREK Perfect! Never been better. FIONA I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you. SHREK You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last night. FIONA You heard what I said? SHREK Every word. FIONA I thought you'd understand. SHREK Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?" FIONA But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. SHREK Yeah? Well, it does. (Fiona looks at him in shock. He looks past her and spots a group approaching.) Ah, right on time. Princess, I've brought you a little something. Farquaad has arrived with a group of his men. He looks very regal sitting up on his horse. You would never guess that he's only like 3 feet tall. Donkey wakes up with a yawn as the soldiers march by. DONKEY What'd I miss? What'd I miss? (spots the soldiers) (muffled) Who said that? Couldn't have been the donkey. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona. SHREK As promised. Now hand it over. FARQUAAD Very well, ogre. (holds out a piece of paper) The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind. (Shrek takes the paper) Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad. FIONA Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. (Farquaad snaps his fingers) Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... (Watches as Farquaad is lifted off his horse and set down in front of her. He comes to her waist.) farewell. FARQUAAD Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. It's not like it has feelings. FIONA No, you're right. It doesn't. Donkey watches this exchange with a curious look on his face. FARQUAAD Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? FIONA Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - FARQUAAD (interrupting) Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! FIONA No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets. FARQUAAD Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! (a guard puts Fiona on the back of his horse) FIONA Fare-thee-well, ogre. Farquaad's whole party begins to head back to DuLoc. Donkey watches them go. DONKEY Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. SHREK Yeah? So what? DONKEY Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, She's - - SHREK I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? DONKEY Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you. SHREK I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! DONKEY But I thought - - SHREK Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong! (stomps off) DONKEY Shrek. Montage of different scenes. Shrek arriving back home. Fiona being fitted for the wedding dress. Donkey at a stream running into the dragon. Shrek cleaning up his house. Fiona eating dinner alone. Shrek eating dinner alone. SHREK'S HOME Shrek is eating dinner when he hears a sound outside. He goes outside to investigate. SHREK Donkey? (Donkey ignores him and continues with what he's doing.) What are you doing? DONKEY I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. SHREK Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. DONKEY It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half. SHREK Oh! Your half. Hmm. DONKEY Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. SHREK Back off! DONKEY No, you back off. SHREK This is my swamp! DONKEY Our swamp. SHREK (grabs the tree branch Donkey is working with) Let go, Donkey! DONKEY You let go. SHREK Stubborn jackass! DONKEY Smelly ogre. SHREK Fine! (drops the tree branch and walks away) DONKEY Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. SHREK Well, I'm through with you. DONKEY Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. SHREK Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? DONKEY Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! SHREK Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! (goes into the outhouse and slams the door) DONKEY Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. SHREK (os) Go away! DONKEY There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. SHREK (os) Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking. DONKEY She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else. SHREK (opens the door and comes out) She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about? DONKEY Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right? SHREK Donkey! DONKEY No! SHREK Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? (sigh) I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me? DONKEY Hey, that's what friends are for, right? SHREK Right. Friends? DONKEY Friends. SHREK So, um, what did Fiona say about me? DONKEY What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? SHREK The wedding! We'll never make it in time. DONKEY Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. (whistles) Suddenly the dragon arrives overhead and flies low enough so they can climb on. SHREK Donkey? DONKEY I guess it's just my animal magnetism. They both laugh. SHREK Aw, come here, you. (gives Donkey a noogie) DONKEY All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. They climb aboard the dragon and she takes off for DuLoc. DULOC - CHURCH Fiona and Farquaad are getting married. The whole town is there. The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Revered Silence'. PRIEST People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union.... FIONA (eyeing the setting sun) Um- PRIEST ...of our new king... FIONA Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? FARQUAAD (chuckles and then motions to the priest to indulge Fiona) Go on. COURTYARD Some guards are milling around. Suddenly the dragon lands with a boom. The guards all take off running. DONKEY (to Dragon) Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? (she nods and goes after the guards) Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you? SHREK (at the Church door) What are you talking about? DONKEY There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!" SHREK I don't have time for this! DONKEY Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? SHREK Yes. DONKEY You wanna hold her? SHREK Yes. DONKEY Please her? SHREK Yes! DONKEY (singing James Brown style) Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. (normal) The chicks love that romantic crap! SHREK All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? DONKEY We gotta check it out. INSIDE CHURCH As the priest talks we see Donkey's shadow through one of the windows Shrek tosses him up so he can see. PRIEST And so, by the power vested in me... Outside SHREK What do you see? DONKEY The whole town's in there. Inside PRIEST I now pronounce you husband and wife... Outside DONKEY They're at the altar. Inside PRIEST ...king and queen. Outside DONKEY Mother Fletcher! He already said it. SHREK Oh, for the love of Pete! He runs inside without catching Donkey, who hits the ground hard. INSIDE CHURCH SHREK (running toward the alter) I object! FIONA Shrek? The whole congregation gasps as they see Shrek. FARQUAAD Oh, now what does he want? SHREK (to congregation as he reaches the front of the Church) Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first of all. Very clean. FIONA What are you doing here? SHREK Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding... SHREK Fiona! I need to talk to you. FIONA Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me - - SHREK But you can't marry him. FIONA And why not? SHREK Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king. FARQUAAD Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. SHREK He's not your true love. FIONA And what do you know about true love? SHREK Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - FARQUAAD Oh, this is precious. The ogee has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord. (laughs) The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Laugh'. The whole congregation laughs. FARQUAAD An ogre and a princess! FIONA Shrek, is this true? FARQUAAD Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! (puckers his lips and leans toward her, but she pulls back.) FIONA (looking at the setting sun) "By night one way, by day another." (to Shrek) I wanted to show you before. She backs up and as the sun sets she changes into her ogre self. She gives Shrek a sheepish smile. SHREK Well, uh, that explains a lot. (Fiona smiles) FARQUAAD Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both! The guards run in and separate Fiona and Shrek. Shrek fights them. SHREK No, no! FIONA Shrek! FARQUAAD This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See? FIONA No, let go of me! Shrek! SHREK No! FARQUAAD Don't just stand there, you morons. SHREK Get out of my way! Fiona! Arrgh! FARQUAAD I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you! FIONA No, Shrek! FARQUAAD (hold a dagger to Fiona's throat) And as for you, my wife... SHREK Fiona! FARQUAAD I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I'm king! Shrek manages to get a hand free and he whistles. FARQUAAD I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - (Donkey and the dragon show up and the dragon leans down and eats Farquaad) Aaaah! Aah! DONKEY All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. (The dragon roars.) I'm a donkey on the edge! The dragon belches and Farquaad's crown flies out of her mouth and falls to the ground. DONKEY Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? The congregation cheers. DONKEY Go ahead, Shrek. SHREK Uh, Fiona? FIONA Yes, Shrek? SHREK I - - I love you. FIONA Really? SHREK Really, really. FIONA (smiles) I love you too. Shrek and Fiona kiss. Thelonius takes one of the cards and writes 'Awwww' on the back and then shows it to the congregation. CONGREGATION Aawww! Suddenly the magic of the spell pulls Fiona away. She's lifted up into the air and she hovers there while the magic works around her. WHISPERS "Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form. Take love's true form. Take love's true form." Suddenly Fiona's eyes open wide. She's consumed by the spell and then is slowly lowered to the ground. SHREK (going over to her) Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right? FIONA (standing up, she's still an ogre) Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. SHREK But you ARE beautiful. They smile at each other. DONKEY (chuckles) I was hoping this would be a happy ending. Shrek and Fiona kiss...and the kiss fades into... THE SWAMP ...their wedding kiss. Shrek and Fiona are now married. 'I'm a Believer' by Smashmouth is played in the background. Shrek and Fiona break apart and run through the crowd to their awaiting carriage. Which is made of a giant onion. Fiona tosses her bouquet which both Cinderella and Snow White try to catch. But they end up getting into a cat fight and so the dragon catches the bouquet instead. The Gingerbread man has been mended somewhat and now has one leg and walks with a candy cane cane. Shrek and Fiona walk off as the rest of the guests party and Donkey takes over singing the song. GINGERBREAD MAN God bless us, every one. DONKEY (as he's done singing and we fade to black) Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. THE END