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ttaehyxng · 2 years

Text

Deprave │ KTH (M)

↞Descent │↞Desire

Series Masterlist

Summary: Taehyung is your drug, quickly working his way into your system and intoxicating you until you can't live without him.

A/N: Thank you for all the love on the previous parts!! If you enjoy this please reblog and send feedback!!!

Tag list: @fingers-crossed-07 @yourtmblrgirlfriend @teekook @lcmoncxke @ageneralweirdo @everrrlasting Enjoy!!!!!!

Word count: 5k

Yandere! Artist! Taehyung x Naïve! Fem! Reader

This story is 18+ and contains triggering themes including but not limited to: romanticism of yandere behavior, obsessive ideation, kidnapping, heavy manipulation, name calling, descriptions of child neglect, depictions of violence, familial abuse, ptsd, murder (self defense-kth's father is a pos), trauma bonding, description of a panic attack. If you are sensitive to these themes do not read.

Other tags: porn with plot, hyyh au!, crime family ot7 au!, soft yandere, oral, y/n squirts dont @ me, lots of introspection, codependency

I do not condone the actions in this work of fiction!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You too are hot. That's all you feel as you wake up, bare flesh sticking against Taehyungs, cheek resting on his bicep, facing him. Taehyung is also hot, the thought makes you smile as you study his sleeping face. He is laying on his stomach, back exposed to you with his face turned in your direction. His hair is messy, pieces sticking in every direction. His mouth is open slightly, snoring softly, worn out from the night before. You blush thinking back to everything he said to you, and how good it made you feel. Everything that you'd done together had been better than anything you could've imagined.

Your eyebrows draw together as you notice scars on his back that you had missed in the few days you'd been together. There are fresh pink scratches that you had left behind but also small, pale circles and slashes- rough, healed over skin- scattered throughout his back. You can only assume the marks were from his father. It was hard to imagine that anyone would ever want to hurt Taehyung, let alone put out cigarettes on him. The more you thought about Taehyung taking the brunt of his fathers abuse to protect his mom and sister, the more your throat started to feel tight. He had a heart of gold and you really hoped that his dad got what he deserved. Nevertheless, it seemed like Tae had to have worked on himself a great deal to become such a well rounded person.

You never would've thought that someone so successful and handsome would care about you in any way. You tried not to give into self deprecating thoughts but you couldn't help but compare yourself to him. He had an amazing personality, being gentle but charming at the same time. He was insanely handsome. He just didn't seem like someone on your level, a paralegal, living paycheck to paycheck in a studio apartment. You were boring, the most exciting thing you'd done in the past month was rescue a stray cat. As much as you tried to be exceptional you always fell short, always being stuck in the monotony of your life. It seemed too good to be true. You hoped last night hadn't been part of a cruel ploy to just use you to pass the time in captivity. Your chest tightens at that thought, feeling guilty for doubting him. Taehyung wasn't the type of guy to play with someone's heart like that.

You think back to his words from last night. 'Even before now I admired how diligent, empathetic, and caring you are.' It warms your heart knowing that he thought about you too before you were in this situation together. In another timeline maybe you would've been together eventually, this was just the push you both needed to let the feelings bloom. You almost don't want things to return to normal. It was nice to just rest all day, not worrying about work and spending time with someone who adores you. Maybe this isn't so bad, I could get used to this. You roll your eyes at your musings. You're being held against your will right now, get a hold of yourself. This isn't some getaway where you escape the real world with your lover, it's dangerous. The scent of the chloroform was something that you needed to remember, the people holding you could do whatever they wanted to you. Various worst case scenarios begin swimming in your mind, thoughts of true crime cases you'd vaguely heard about popping up. You need to get out soon, fearing the worst for yourself even though you were finding yourself growing comfortable in this confined space.

Small places had a coziness that you had been drawn to all your life. Spaces where most people would complain of being too cramped. When you were small you'd sneak your way into your parents closet and hide behind the clothes hanging up, using a little book light and reading for hours and hours until you heard them call for you, finally noticing your absence. In many ways you were in the same place, hiding from the world, waiting for someone to notice your absence. Thinking back, your parents probably should've kept a better eye on you, it always took them way too long to realize you were gone. You wished you could just count on your parents to come to your rescue, surely they'd notice your absence eventually? Or would they just brush it off thinking that you are too busy to call. You weren't about to get your hopes up that they'd come to your rescue.

Maybe Taehyung would be able to convince Namjoon to let you go, satisfied with only keeping Taehyung captive. Your heart sinks at the thought of Taehyung sacrificing his freedom for you. If you were going to get out it had to be together, you'd live the rest of your life with regret if you didn't. There had to be another way to get you both out.

If you both got sick Namjoon wouldn't want you both to die, maybe you could fake a severe stomach bug and escape when they bring you to the hospital? He could just bring his own doctor to check on you, or have someone escort you both every step of the way. There were so many factors, making your jaw clench in concentration.

Taehyung working things out with Namjoon would probably be your best bet. You could stay in the closet- comfortable in your isolation together for a few more days- it wouldn't hurt. If anything happened that made you actively worried about your safety you could always cross that bridge then. There was no use working yourself up since your captor hadn't disturbed you during your stay so far.

Too wrapped up in your thoughts you don't notice Taehyung's snoring stop, a small smile forming on his face.

"Having fun watching me sleep, princess?" He says with his eyes still closed, his gravely morning voice knocking you out of your reverie. "Cause I can keep pretending if this is what does it for you."

You choke on your own words, mouth still dry and voice a little hoarse.

"I was not, I was just zoned out! I just happened to be zoning out on your face," you chuckle, cheeks warming up in embarrassment. He opens his eyes and cups your cheek, bringing you in for a gentle kiss. You hadn't really noticed last night but his lips are so soft, molding perfectly into yours.

"You can zone out on my face anytime sweetheart," he whispers, not wanting to pop the bubble of morning time intimacy formed between the two of you. You think of how you must look right now, messy is the best case scenario. You probably had morning breath, tangled hair, and swollen eyes from crying last night but he still looked at you like you were the sun his universe revolves around. A soft smile graces your lips.

"You promise?"

"Of course."

He pushes his arms under your back, rolling you under him as he makes space for himself between your legs, littering your face and neck with soft kisses, tickling you in the process. You half-heartedly struggle, giggling under his touch, caged by his arms. You catch his lips with your own, smiling into the kiss, thoughts and concerns about your parents and escaping being moved to the back burner. This felt too good to ruin with your worries that could wait. You reach over his shoulders and weave your fingers into his silky hair, keeping him in your embrace. Your legs open to accommodate him, wrapping around his hips as he rests part of his body weight on you.

"Be careful baby, I might get too comfortable and want to stay like this all day," he growls, nipping at your neck with a little bit of force, reminding you of the lovebites and bruises left from the night before. "Or is that what my little slut wants?"

Goosebumps run through your body as his breath hits the shell of your rear. A breathy whine escapes your lips, your hips reflexively bucking against him. This just eggs him on further, grinding agonizingly slow against your heat. His deft hands make their way to your plump chest, rolling your nipples between his digits. The mix of pleasure and pain only caused you to feel needier, trying to press yourself closer to him.

"P-please Tae," you cry, seeking more friction but not getting enough to satisfy your need.

"What do you need princess? Use your words," he slows his pace to a near stop as he teases you. Your head is growing foggy with arousal.

"Need you, I need you so bad, please-" you just wanted him to touch you again, it felt like he was a drug that you were going through withdraws from. He pulls away from your neck and gives you a quick kiss on the lips, pulling away after to check in with eye contact.

"It's okay baby, I'm gonna make you feel good. Is it okay if I taste your needy little pussy?" Your eyes flick from his to his full lips, imagination running wild at the thought of him eating you out. You nod your head quickly, the only thing you can voice is a hum in approval. He looks like a man starved as he descends down your body, stopping momentarily to suck on your nipples softly. All of your soft noises encourage him further as he gives each some attention, pulling off with a pop and looking at them with hazy, blown out eyes.

"You're so fucking beautiful, I can't believe how lucky I am."

Growing impatient, Taehyung grips your legs and buries his head between them, needing to taste your nectar from the source. He eats you out like a man starved, tongue flat against you, pressing firmly as he laps up all your gathered essence from your slit to your clit. His mouth is so hot and soft, sucking on your clit as you writhe under him. You've never felt anything like this, the vibrator you used and your fingers were no comparison to this man depraved. It takes him an embarrassingly short amount of time to pull an orgasm from you but he doesn't stop there, keeping you trapped in the euphoria of your high as he continues his assault. His nails bite the soft skin of your thighs as he readjusts his position, holding your legs open as he focuses on overstimulating you. You struggle to stay still, your reflexes causing you to try and close your legs around him and push him away. You want to be still for him but it's so hard when his mouth is driving you crazy. Nails digging into your palms as your fists clench in the sheets, trying your hardest to keep your lower half from fighting him.

"I know you're doing your best baby but you need to hold still for me, I'm still hungry for you and I'm not gonna stop till you give me one more," he pries your legs apart, spanking your pussy lightly. "You can do one more, baby, be a good girl for me."

The need to be good for him washes over you, filling you with the strength you need to resist your instincts to fight him off. You nod, whimpering, unable to form coherent thoughts other than needing to obey him. You squeeze your eyes shut again, gripping your own thighs to hold them open, knuckles going white. With his newly free hands he adds his two middle fingers inside you to overwhelm you further. It was all too much, his fingers pumping with a gentle but consistent pace combined with his mouth on your clit has you seeing stars. You panic as a familiar warm feeling settles in your core, tapping Taehyung's arm.

"Taehyung it feels like I'm gonna pee stop-"

"Shhh no you're not, it's okay just let go for me," he soothes in his sweet, condescending tone. The pace of his fingers speed up, building the feeling inside you until it comes to a peak, pulling his fingers out as you violently squirt. Not wanting any of your cum to go to waste he dives his mouth back onto your slit, lapping up everything you had to offer him. Once you're thoroughly fucked out he finally lets up, giving your clit one last kiss, smirking at your full body shiver from the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm you'd ever had. Your eyes are blurry from squeezing them shut so tight, your body feels like static in the best way, legs sore as you stretch them back out from their previous position. Taehyung eyes you, wiggling his eyebrows, clearly feeling confident in his skills. He moves back up to your level, kissing you passionately-letting you taste yourself on him- before cuddling into you, content.

You wonder if every morning could be like this, waking up with someone who makes your heart swell so much you thought it might burst. Without thinking you utter "I love-" cutting yourself off before you finish that thought out loud. You didn't want to guilt him into repeating the same back to you, afraid of hurting you.

He never misses anything, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

"What was that?" He says, tone more serious than you were used to, head tilted to the side.

"I love this, that's what I was saying," you brush him off, looking away from his intense eye contact. Displeased with you looking away he guides your chin back to facing him.

"Look at me princess," he warns, eyebrows drawing together. "Do you remember what I told you last night? You don't have to hide your feelings from me. I want it all, your ups, your downs, everything. Are you sure that's what you meant?"

Do you love him? You know it should be too soon to feel this strongly about someone but you can't deny that he was now part of your heart. It was hard to deny the deep affection you held for him, and you didn't really want to be away from him anytime soon. Every new thing he shared about himself, every song he hums to himself, every piece of art he creates, everything he did amazed you in some way.

Should you tell him right now? You didn't want to scare him off, thoughts of him pulling away after made you worry. But if he didn't feel the same, why would he have checked with you? If he didn't love you too he could've ignored it, right? He looked almost disappointed when you brushed him off, that had to mean something. Convinced in your line of reasoning you decide to take a leap of faith in him.

"I love you, I'm sorry," you stutter out, eyes focusing on the mole above his lip. "I know it's too soon and I probably sound like some lovesick virgin but I think I love you. I just didn't want to say that because I don't want you to pity me and say it back before you feel the same way. You just make me feel better than anyone I've ever met and I'm bad at keeping my mouth shut."

He lets you finish, eyebrows relaxing as his demeanor turns back to warm and comforting. He gives you a moment to look back into his eyes before he replies.

"I love you too, and I'm not saying that for any other reason than it being the truth. I know I said last night that we didn't have to put a label on what we have but if you feel the same way about me I don't see a reason not to. I love you, I love you, I love you. If you want me to keep saying it until you're convinced I'm not just pitying you I will."

You feel like all the oxygen in the room has been taken away. His eyes didn't waver, he didn't stutter, everything that he said appeared to be the whole truth. This was the first time you had said those three words to someone romantically to be met with the same energy. So used to the awkward rejections, or worse, the forced 'I love you's you weren't prepared for what Taehyung had given you. Total and complete acceptance and love. You can't stop the tears from falling.

"Really?" you're able to get out in between hiccups.

"Really really, I promise," he trades your positions, pulling you on top of him while he shushes your cries, humming softly while pushing your hair behind your ear and playing with it while you calm down. "I'm sorry it seems so far-fetched that I'd love you, it's honestly hard not too, you're the best." The soothing feeling of his hands in your hair and his quiet song, making his chest vibrate comforted you.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Moments like these make Taehyung regret lying to you the most. His love was real, he'd always been genuine with his feelings for you, maybe holding back a bit. Still, he felt guilty for deceiving you, knowing that if you ever found out the truth your faith in him could be shaken. If only you had been able to see how the world was infecting you, dimming your light. He wished that you would've come to him before any of the lies and deceit and asked him to sweep you away and rescue you from the cruel world. Before now that notion would've never even crossed your mind. He knew the lies would be worth it. To you he used to only be a passing neighbor and Taehyung knew you'd never make a move to change that. He still knew that lying to you was wrong, and he hoped that eventually you'd see things his way on your own. You didn't need anyone else but him, he'd love you more than enough to make up for anyone else's meager attempts at loving you. It was so easy with you, you were just so receptive to his love it was like you knew deep down that you were his.

He'd show you the real world, pulling off the blinders that you had on throughout your day to day life. If you could see how little your friends cared about you you'd understand. He'd expose them, he'd already had all of their information, their social media, addresses, access to their phone records. It'd be as simple as letting you read through one of their group chats which conveniently excluded you. There were multiple instances of them gossiping about you and betraying your trust. That would disappoint you but it wouldn't be enough. All the plans that they made as a group week after week, without even thinking about inviting you would be what finally plants the seed of resentment inside you.

Your family was a different story, you seemed much more willing to accept your family's mistreatment. Checking the phone logs of outgoing and incoming calls and texts made it obvious that you were pulling most of the weight in your relationships. You didnt talk to many of your relatives, the only people you contacted regularly were your parents. Going back through your text conversations over the years Taehyung could piece together how your parents treated you. To him it felt like your parents had just given up after you went to college, maybe even before then. They pulled away checking in less and less, maybe to save the pain of having an empty nest or it was just easier after you were independent. They never offered to help you through school, acting like getting the scholarships you'd worked tirelessly for were easy to come by. The second you turned 18 it was like you were a fully developed adult in their eyes and they were eager for you to get out of their hair. They converted your room into an office space only days after you had moved away, solidifying the fact that you wouldn't be welcome to return home if you ever needed to. They even sent you pictures, proud of all the hard work they'd put in erasing your existence from their life like it was supposed to make you happy. For some years it seemed like you had pulled away too, but after a health scare your father went through a couple years ago, you made more of an effort to reach out. Even in an emergency they wouldn't treat you with respect, demanding that you drop everything in your life to come help take care of your father. It didn't matter that you had appointments with advisors or that the cost of last minute travel would be exorbitant. Out of guilt and the fear of losing your parents you obliged, further cementing your innate belief that their needs came before your own.

When you had your own emergency -a burst appendix- you had called and texted them over and over without either of them answering. You were fine after an emergency surgery but you were without support. Once they finally returned your calls -they had been at dinner together- they didn't see a reason to make the trip to see you since you were alive and stable. Back when he poured over your text conversation during this time Taehyung was dumbfounded and enraged that anyone could be so horrible to you. If he had been in your life he would've done anything, no matter how hard, to be by your side.

He did some further digging into your parents, wanting to find something that would make you have no choice but to cut ties with them. Through Hoseok's connections he was able to get a copy of their current will and testament and he knew that it would be the key. They weren't planning on leaving anything of value to you, their life insurance benefactors were their lesser off siblings-your aunts and uncles- they'd be leaving you with their vehicles and their possessions. They had no property because they rented the home they lived in so if anything happened to both of them you'd get stuck with finding a home for all their belongings and the chore of selling two cars since you already had your own. Hopefully that would be your last straw.

Eventually he'd find a way to show you the true character of your loved ones, it just had to be done carefully. He'd given Namjoon all of the information so that if there was ever a good moment to show you he could do it for him, that would save him some of the headache.

At least he could rest knowing that you'd fallen for him, the sight of your eyes shining with joy unmistakable. Now his goal was to break you down so that you couldn't live without him. The sound of the metal door opening and two trays of breakfast being slid inside your cell breaks Taehyung from his train of thought.

"C'mon angel we need to eat, I can't have you passing out on me," he moves to sit up, chuckling at the whine you let out from having your rest disturbed. You sit up too, pouting a little as he moves away from you off the bed. He stretches out his sore muscles, giving you a nice view as he retrieves your respective meals.

After breakfast you take a shower together, deciding to plan out how you'd get out together after. Taehyung had a way of easing your fears and soothing anxiety that you'd built up inside that you didn't quite understand yet. You knew that talking out your ideas with him would be for the best.

Now that you'd confessed your feelings it was much harder for you to focus on something besides each other. Every time he touched you your heart leapt,, even just light kisses pressed against your forehead. As much as you didn't want to admit it, it felt good to be in here and subconsciously you caught yourself avoiding the subject of escape. You begin to admire every part of Taehyung during the shower. The water dripped down his back. Droplets clinging to his hair. His strong hands as he washes his body diligently, quiet, in his own world.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

His father had been belligerent, screaming in his face after coming home with the stench of liquor hanging on his breath.

He didn't mean to.

He couldn't stop himself.

He didn't have a choice.

When his mother tried to defend him she was pushed away, slamming into the wall with a solid crack, the noise sending Taehyung into a frenzy. His father threw him to the ground as well, turning around to face his sister, cowering in the corner. The bright green of the broken soju bottle a few feet away was the only thing he saw, bile rising in his throat as he urgently crawled towards it.

He couldn't hear anything else besides his fathers voice ringing in his ears.

'You're a piece of shit. You never should've been born. The world would be better off without a shithead punk like you.'

Time stopped. Adrenaline filled his body with the strength to stand, the bottle neck tight in his grip. The bottle pierced his father's stomach so much easier than Taehyung had imagined. The blood was so wet and hot and unyielding.

He couldn't stop there, if he did his family wouldn't ever be safe

He dug the bottle deeper, remembering all the times his father had made him or his family keel over in pain or cower in fear. The bastard stopped his rampage, turning to face his son in shock. He lunged toward Taehyung, hands moving to the boy's throat to try and defend himself.

Its kill or be killed.

Taehyung had the upper hand, beating his father to his own throat, dropping the bottle and squeezing the elders neck as hard as he could. He barely registered his own blood soaked hands making it difficult to get a good grip .

It felt like hours waiting for him to stop struggling, body finally giving out and sagging against him.

Taehyung was finally strong enough to stop him, finally able to save his family.

He came to his senses enough to notice his mother's screaming and sisters sobbing once the ringing in his ears stopped. It felt like he was hearing them from underwater. The sound was muffled like when he would submerge his head below during a bath to drown out the sound of his parents arguing.

He was numb as he moved to their bathroom, running hot water over his hands, the blood mixing with the water, tainting what was once clean. He looked down at his clothes -blood making them stick to his flesh- growing sick to his stomach. The shirt he wore, now stained red used to be white. He shrugged off the clothing and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away his sins. The water was so hot, burning his skin, washing away the crimson evidence of his accident.

That's all it was, an accident.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Static filled Taehyung's ears but he knew someone was calling for him. Someone important.

"▓▓▓▓!" he couldn't tell what they were saying but it sounded urgent.

"Taehyung!"

He feels the fog wash away as his eyes focus on yours, water still pouring over you both. Your eyes are watery and panicked. Your nails scratched at his forearms as his hands tighten against your delicate throat the same way they had many years ago. Recognition consumes him as he releases you, a wave of panic and guilt hitting him like a brick wall. He can tell that you're confused and scared, tears streaming down your face as your legs give out under you. He can't stop tears of his own, collapsing in front of you, mind racing, trying to think of ways to atone for what he'd done.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry y/n baby, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry- what did I do?" His question falls on deaf ears as you heave, trying to fill your lungs with oxygen as quickly as you could. "I-I-I don't know what just happened, it was like- like I was back at home with my father and I- I I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much I never wanted to hurt you y/n."

You don't know what to do with yourself, you feel so exposed, confused, and scared. Your neck is sore but luckily he regained composure quickly, you hadn't been deprived of oxygen for too long.

Taehyung looks just as confused as you are and despite what just happened you feel your heart break for him. He is crying harder than you'd ever seen before, panic filling his frame as he rushes to the toilet, throwing up from the shock, dry heaving after his stomach was empty. He kept apologizing, over and over, shaking from fear of what he'd done to you. You knew this had to be a trauma response or something similar, he wouldn't hurt you if he was in his right mind. You knew that. You decide to trust your heart and move toward him, crawling on your knees to the corner of the shower where he was holding himself, trying and failing to calm down.

"Hey hey hey, look at me," you speak softly, trying to soothe his panic attack as gently as you knew how. "I'm okay-I'm okay, I promise baby."

"Fuck fuck I'm so sor-" he can't stop another hiccupping sob from his body, looking even more confused as you shush his cries. "Wh- why- why are you over here? I hur-hurt you."

"I'm okay, I know you didn't mean it," you try your best not to sound too hoarse, fresh tears pricking at your eyes as you see how broken and vulnerable the man you loved looked right now. He looks like he is going to reach for you but he holds himself back.

"Ca-can I touch you?" he asks, eyes pleading for your comfort and warmth. You nod and scoot closer so he can wrap you in his embrace, squeezing you delicately but firmly, rocking you both back and forth. You stay like that for a while, letting your breathing regulate together and your heart rates slow. Once his breathing slows down he pulls away from you just enough to inspect your neck. There wasn't too much damage, the skin was pink there weren't any visible bruises besides the ones he knew were from the night before.

"What happened?" he asks, eyes pleading for your honesty.

"I don't know, you were zoned out for a few minutes then I tried to get your attention and that's when it happened," you explain, your voice full of understanding. "I don't know what you've been through but I know you and I know you'd never hurt me, that's why I'm not scared of you right now."

"This will never happen again, I promise you," he is once again amazed at you, your kindness and compassion holding no bounds even though he didn't deserve it. He never wanted to hurt you again, the thought of it hurt him tenfold. "God I don't deserve you at all do I angel?"

"I think everyone deserves a bit of grace and understanding, you've been through a lot haven't you?" you work your fingers through his still damp hair, adrenaline starting to wear off as you start to feel the soreness in your neck. Logically you knew you should be scared of him but you couldn't find it in yourself to be. He had shown you the most raw, vulnerable parts of himself and that made you feel special, you would be his safe space.

"Y-yeah, that's true but if I ever do that again I don't even-"

"You won't do it again, I know you won't, repeat it back to me" you interrupt before he can start to talk himself into a corner.

"I won't do it again," he repeats, maintaining eye contact with you.

"It was an accident."

"Good, you can't go there Tae, it'll be really hard to get yourself out," you say gently, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, kissing the skin softly.

"Thank you baby, I love you so much," you feel tears falling from his cheeks to your own. "How'd I get so lucky, huh?"

"I don't know, but I'm happy you did."

A/N: Part 4- Despise Coming Soon! Thank you so much for reading!!!!! Sorry it took a hot second to come out but its all done!!! Reply if you want to be on the tag list!

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#shaking crying throwing up #yandere #bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #taehyung #yandere taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #bts v #v x reader

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freemindedspirit · 9 months

Note

Guys... Any spiritual experience doesn't push you into darkness but lifts through the darkness...

The best example mmm I can say is, imagine swimming in the dead Sea.... You are never gonna drown or sink in, but will be afloat till you find your island...

As far as I know, spirituality doesn't triggger depression or anxiety or panic attacks any such mental health issue... Mental health issues and that just idea of life and hitting the rock bottom and from their viewing life is where spirituality begins...

Please dont neglect your mental health esp while believing it as a part of your spiritual journey because spirituality though intense is a saviour, it pulls you out not into the bottom....

Signs and dreams and all are not spirituality guys.... There is depth to it... Twinflame Or soul connection we talk about is the intense love one can feel for someone, it's really raw emotions... Not dreams and signs and few experiences... You just can't hate the person ever... Even when you have issues... These days toxicity and obsession over someone is also given spiritual names...

Be aware, don't ruine your lives...

Be aware....

Actually, there is something called a Dark Night of the Soul, which is both a psychological phenomenon studied by Carl Jung and a spiritual one. Its a period of your life where you are forced to face your shadows, your fears, abd everything you thought you knew about the world and yourself. Shadow work and kundalini awakenings can also be linked with periods of depression or anxiety. However, it is dangerous to strictly see them as spiritual concepts, and you should reach out for professional help of you struggle with any mental health issues.

In any case, an untrained stranger on the internet cannot help you further.

Also, the part about not being able to hate your tf or anyone you have a soul connection with is plain wrong.It happens, and a lot more often than you would think.

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w0rmstuff · 2 years

Text

Dead Gay Wizards // Incorrect Quotes

marauders era characters as things I've said by letting my intrusive or weird thoughts verbalise because I have 0 filter....

ill add to this each time i find myself saying something funny, worrying and unfiltered...

italics mean it's from a friend, teacher or family members, bold means it's me.. just for context..

warnings: swearing, self destructive behaviour, body parts, abuse, trauma, teeth, intrusive thoughts

james: don't lay on the grass! it's wet!

sirius: like your mum *winks*

remus: do you ever think about jumping out the second or third story window because you can't get your life together?

peter: this butter chickpea is schmackin

marlene: does your neighbour ever give you lemons? *pauses for 30 seconds* man im so glad I don't have to sew my vagina shut

lily: how does your vagina relate to your neighbours lemons????

remus: have you ever wondered what it'd be like to shoot yourself, then have to use your fingers to dig the bullet out?

james: uh, no, are you okay?

mcgonagall: just for fun, *looks at the marauders* if you could speak to any animal what would it be?

james: but we're already speaking to you? *immediately regrets it*

barty jr: i can hide a body so no one finds it and will never know what i did

regulus: care to share?

barty jr: no, i don't want you killing me and dumping my body!

sirius: *runs across tables, with peter in his animagus form*

remus: don't trip

james: don't fall

regulus: please fall

marlene: please trip

peter: *drinks tea*

sirius: *says something funny*

peter: *snorts and liquid comes out his nose* why is it spicy

lily: can i sell my uterus on the black market?

marlene: no, throw it at the government

lily: mass attack

sirius: you look like a pear

regulus: you look like a neglected child, oh wait, you are

james: i require stimulation *jumps up on table*

mcgonagall: hop down. that's paperwork

james: *remains on chairs and tables*

dorcas: you'll fall

james: of course i won't *then stumbles off chairs and grabs the air for support* woo, my life flashed before my eyes

remus: maybe listen? to warnings?

marlene: you radiate small dick energy, Sirius will become your step dad if you keep going

sirius: I definitely will

remus: *sees peter flicking a skewer around in his hands* ever wander how much force it'd take to stab a wooden skewer into your forearm?

james: *sees rem pick up a skewer* rEM nO!

marlene: how cool would it be to wear your baby or wisdom teeth as jewellery?

lily: mar, that’s not cool. you’re weird, and making us mildly worried..

marlene: i think it would just be so epic to walk into a class or store with your teeth hanging from your ears or neck.

james: *overs the conversation* just promise you won’t take ours whilst we sleep

muggle studies professor: did you know, the panda is actually useless? it has no significant job in nature...

sirius: is that why you’re a pand- sorry professor

muggle studies professor: *stunned* uh , moving on.

james: just look, it comes out white, see?

sirius: *snorts*

peter: what?

remus: are you aware of what you just said?

james: yeah? it comes out whi- oh.

* riding on the hogwarts express, returning to school*

remus: have you ever just wanted to hang out the side of a car and let your arm drag across the barbed wire fences they use for cows, to see how it would look all shredded and see how long it would take to entirely lose an arm or die??

peter: um. cant say i have.

james: say moony, you feeling alright there, lad?

remus: oh, yeah i’m fine. our minds work in mysterious ways, dont they? *smiles innocently*

james: they say on your knees is the best place to be

sirius: yeah, for sucking dick!

james: i was reading the church sign sirius, i didnt need your input about your time with moony

peter: maybe you could pretend you dont suck??

sirius: please, i do plenty of sucking just for his benefit

remus: no, you suck because your a bottom and like to be used because your parents found you useless.

sirius: *flushes red*

peter: my cue to leave * dragging james with him *

#marauders #hp marauders #marauders era #marauders fandom #marauders incorrect quotes #1970s #dead gay wizards #marlene mckinnon #james potter #lily evans #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #barty crouch jr #peter pettigrew #minerva mcgonagall

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ryujin-pov · 2 years

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hey ryu!! i have a question and i need your opinion on this. recently i've been stressed out for my exams and my upcoming national exams, i studied really hard and became super stressed. my parents and my teachers have super high expectations for me since i was in one of the best classes but the thing is, i have no confidence in myself. nowadays, i get sick easily with no reason and i would cry out of nowhere at random parts of the day. what do you think is going on with me based on what i just said? i hate this feeling so much, i dont know if it's due to stress or mental health issues but i really need an opinion on this.

[ ✔ SEEN 12:31 P.M ]

This is a good question. It'll be easier for me to tell to just take things on your own pace, but we both know it's harder than it sounds— especially if people are expecting you to ace everything. Much like to how I am right now, an idol, things are always set to perfect-quality performance, but people often forget that I'm a human too. So are you!

Academic performance is one of the most important things to ace in life, but that only comes second with having a good mental state. In your case, you're already overheating from the things that you're doing and you're expected to do. Take a breather, pause. Never do things for the sake of other people's pleasure and entertainment, do it solely because you wanted to achieve better things in life. I know you also wanted to be one of the top students there despite being watched 24/7, but that doesn't mean you should neglect yourself. I suggest that you chop your day into smaller pieces so you'll know what to do first and do next. I suggest that you do the harder tasks first before the easier ones, so that you'll have more time to deal with the heavier tasks than rushing them to get done. Just like to what I do most of the time, I chop my day like: Morning, Afternoon, and evening. And in some cases, I add midnight too if my tasks gets cramped up.

Please don't forget to eat, sleep, and do some of your favorite hobbies while you're resting. You can't achieve bigger things in life, if the simple ones like meantal health is neglected 🥲🥲

[ ✅ SENT 12:47 P.M ]

#itzy #jyp itzy #shin ryujin #itzy ryujin #kpop imagines #kpop itzy #kpop roleplay #kpop gg #ryujin x reader #kpoppov

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hairbykadibop · 3 months

Text

Selling Self Care: You cant just wait for sickness to heal... Self Care First

Especially, Focusing on ➡️Hair.

You have to cut it off, Manage it, or Treat it.

You cant just wait for your client's hair / sickness to heal. You have to do something about it right then and there. ➡️facts.

You have products. Fine, Medium, Thick focused products for hair. You have scissors to do all the fancy cuts, and combs to put everything into place.

BUT, You cant just wait for sickness to Heal, within You, as a stylist - A stressor, An ex, An uncomfortable shoe, A post dated root job, A put off conflict with a coworker. You have to address those things to heal PROMPTLY to yourself, for yourself, for you ever to be able to help another with their hair care. Take a 3-5 to shake it off! There are so many ways ill address later.

Or youll end up throwing shade at "Samantha" in an unrelated statement, competing with her on the low in your sales pitch of self to your client.

Its all insecurity. Make you priority, and You can address any hair care need a client has. They feel theyre a priority too! Theyre YOUR client, You STYLE them with YOUR style!

its just true. Self care are needs that we have, our hands have, that cut the hair in our chairs. People can sense our issues, we can even project them onto a client whilst cutting, they can come back complaining when nothing is even Wrong, all from energy, reminding You why You didnt do what They asked.

😯😇🥸

Dont blame yourself Or take it out on another employee for a "competition ego boost". Wont work. You or your entire salon will eventually be infected with your sickness.

It takes 3 coffees, 6 lunch breaks and 3 client pass offs to cure One mistake of not self caring as a stylist.

Thats how the stylist pantheon works! Its just true.

Acting above this truth, probably provides one with a long list of people they criticize.

Nobody likes that.

These types of behaviors fail in salons.

Instead?🪽➡️ Take an unauthorized 5 minute break before the client comes back even when they're Ready, and you arent. Set an example. They came to see You. Your client feels the Self First groove, Puts themselves First after waiting, and understands you have a life. STOP OVEREXTENDING YOURSELF for a DOLLAR! There is a person underneath that style. You arent there just for the cut. They feel, And, they will eventually lead you into quitting or earlier "retirement" for your own good if you neglect yourself, or them... Or, Go to another stylist. You're lucky if they don't tell another.

🪴

You are not a machine to mindlessly foil with, cut with, or expected to entertain people who do not please you. This behavior is a 50-70% turnover recipie . & Why that many quit after the first few years.

Self Care is Self Preservation.

🤞🏼✋🏼☕

It sets the stage for All real hair salons, Self care first. (Good energy to encourage take home self care as well)

Ever see a 5 star salon owner with disposable clientele, or ancient books with refusal to change weighing their growth down?

Stylists just arent given this advice. You First. I learned this from my studies at Aveda. 80 % of salons are revolving doors...

...Other people are always Other people...

You have the power to be Yourself amongst stylist peer pressure, fear, and expectation.

🪶

By engaging in self aware Self Care.

This generates a product sale, too. They need to take that extra 5 to put on the product You recommend for them, for Their self care.

😉

We see as we see and do as we do; We do as we see and we see as we do. We do what we do and see what we see.

🌱🌫️🫧

🌟SELL SELF CARE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. 🌟

Why I⬆️ sell 5X ⬆️ more on average in my retail than any other stylist, on average in my past 7 years of Styling. Do you wanna see $1800 in passing retail sales in 4 weeks by just simply taking care of You? You have to self care even more, then, because envy will grow! 🪶 & Thats a whole other topic!

➡️Who can talk about product when theyre thinking about Bob?

#self care #hairy #salealert #happiness #aveda #fashion #accessories #face #beauty products #product design #skincare products #creative direction

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woozi · 5 months

Note

my yzaaa!! hi!!

i'm so sorry it's been. seven whole months. i saw the news about dino solo and remembered in a rush that i hadn't responded to the last ask and - well. it's been months. apologies for being such a neglectful wife. i hope you've been well <3 are you excited for dolo (dino solo)!!!!

by the way. your new header is GORGE. the neon greens and the blacks... i love it omg. another slay from my darling beloved yza, you never miss.

dsfklhdsf last ask i said it would be studying nonstop til july and then. i failed to get into uni. so now i am retaking all those exams alas.

so last time we talked about the bss comeback! but now seventeen have had a comeback too! how did you find it omg? please do tell me your ranking, i am so curious. for me it's diamond days = back2back > monster > god of music = headliner > yawn > sos (which. idk i have some thoughts). what about you though!! which songs are your fav!! which songs surprised you!! which songs do you not like as much as you thought you might! i am dying to know!

speaking of the comeback. did you see that minghao is grey. he's slaying it so much that i want to die my hair grey now (as if i'm not already greying prematurely from my job lol) but idkkkk i am no the8 i don't know if i could slay it as well as he does. regardless. this is his ERA he is slaying so hard!

speaking of. i don't know if you know this but jun is pretty much no. 1 on my svt bias line. actually you probably know that, looking back on how we met haha. but i just want to say that i think he is SHINING this era like!!! idk i've been watching all the performances and he is making So Many expressions. i know i am talking about a 27yo man but he is so cute he is my little meow meow and i LOVE all his funky expressions. also idk i know carats like to meme it but i do love that he manages to be so unblinking sometimes like. king of eye contact tbh! god of eye contact, even! love that for him.

your life is going back to your pre-pandemic routine! is that still true (it has been seven months)? it's crazy how much the pandemic wrenched everyone's lives into such different things, honestly. how has it been, returning to your pre-pandemic routines? i hope you've been well?

sending you so much love and i hope you always have happy days! it is so nice to see you on my dash again btw! mwah <333 💗💗💗

your beloved wife,

honey <3

MY HONEY OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OUGHHH AM I OVERJOYED TO SEE U!!!!!!!

FIRST OFF I MISSED U SAUR SAUR MUCH??????????? ALSO U DONT EVEN HAVE TO WORRY ABT REPLYING LATE 😤😤😤😤 in my heart we r like penpals and i'll always be here anyway 😋

the way dolo (dino solo) brought u back to me IM CRYINGGGGGGGGG he really is the gift that keeps on giving!! AND THANK YEWWWWWWWWW, i try i'm v honored 🥺

hoping ur exam results turn out better for u this time!! i hope you're not pressuring yourself into it too much though, i'm sure things will work out for you <3 i'm here whenever u need an ear!!

DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKING FOR A FRESHTEEN CBBBBBBBBBBBBBB?!!??! i know they heard our Cries for cock songs back then, but i'm glad they've come around their roots soundwise for this album, it's a nice breather!! also a refresher (shoutout to ms diamond days) to why i liked em sm </333

URE SO VALID ABT SOS FDJKDFJKFDKJ my ranking atm is GoM > back 2 back = monster = yawn > diamond days > headliner > sos (sorry the lyrics make me …. 🤨🤨🤨 jkdsfjsdkjkdskjds 😭😭😭 but it’s understandable eng is not their first language!!)

for the first few weeks i have listened the most to back 2 back tbh, i didnt expect to like her as much as i now do!! monster, on the other hand, was the song i was looking forward most to hearing (VERNON PRODS WILL ALWAYS BE 🔛🔝 FOR ME) and i like her dont get me wrong!!! but i was expecting to like her the most out of all the songs in the album. she's still really good though <3 HOW ABT U 👁👁 V CURIOUS ABT UR THOUGHTS ESP ABT SOS FJDKDFFDJK

NOT THE PREMATURE GRAYING 😭 ALSO IK?????????????? sumn really going on with him when he has The Mullet ngl

i still cb we went from u being an eyebag anon to my now wife all bc of silly mr jun <33 thank god for him and the svteenies LMAOO AND I AGREE SOOOOOOOO MUCH <33 it's really so good to see how he's gotten so confident at performing that he's able to add these cute little touches to every perf </3 WE NEED MORE JUN APPRECIATION ON THIS SITE AND IM SAUR SAUR GLAD U See Him

also true!! but now i have graduated so things are also very different 👁👄👁 but change really is good!! i just cb i miss school this much fjkdjdf i've actually been thinking abt post grad (med school specifically) so.... there Might be new changes w me again!! life's been a little crazy on my side that's why i was on hiatus since feb until just before the recent cb season, but it's honestly made me realize a lot of things that (hopefully) have helped me grow as a person!! HOW ABOUT UUU <33 WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO!! we really have a lot of catching up to do 😋

sending you an even bigger hug and giving u much strength!! i hope the days r increasingly kinder to u, and that u find little joys in every step of the way!! i'm really so happy to hear from u again 🥺 LOV U MWAH <3333333

#honey 🐝#👀👜 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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hopelessromanticspoonie · 3 years

Note

When Adam wakes up, he is tangled with Liv, his nose buried in her hair. He inhales the smell of her shampoo and the lingering scent of sex before tugging her to his chest and nibbling her ear. She always said that he reminded her of a cat, and he denied it all the time, but the similarities were there, how he wanted to be loved when he was in a good mood, and wanted to be loved while he was feeling playful. "Livvy... darling. Wakey wakey." ~Adam

A cool body tugs her to his chest and teeth nibble at her ear, pulling her from her heavy sleep. She isn't sure if it's day or night and without functioning windows to check, she's too lazy to open her eyes.

"Livvy?" she grumbles, turning her head to bury it in his chest. Her hand fumbles around to pat his cheek. "Wakey wakey? 'm pretty sure you're an imposter and not my grumpy sleepy vampire."

#rp #adam anon #adam olla rp #well hello you #long time no see #i hope you are doing well #please dont neglect your studies or yourself for this #you are the most important person in this

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kingkatsuki · 3 years

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Speaking of heroes taking advantage of their fan girls don't you just wanna be Bakugos little damsel in distress. You just need him for everything, that dress you saw was just so pretty and you just need to borrow his black card you promise you'll pay him back 🥺 (you don't not with money at least) When he caves and buys you the dress you know you have him wrapped around your finger so after a hard day of work you cry to him it's just all so stressful and you just can't handle it you instantly smile when he says you dont have to work he can provide for you.

"Shitty woman stop cryin and just quit that damn job I'll take care of you."

"Really?" So now you can spend your time in his house and doing your hobbies all day not a care in the world like you're supposed to. Until you can't reach the bowl on the top shelf and your whining for Katsuki to help you but he's in his study doing work and he's just taking too damn long and you start to get really huffy and fussy. Finally when you're practically screeching he comes out to help.

"I've spoiled you too much you're on my last damn nerve." He says as he not only gets you the bowl but fills it with your favorite cereal (the box was also too high for you) without you even having to ask.

"Can't do a damn thing without me huh?" You would shake your head with a pout. God he loves when you pout at him he pretends he doesn't but he can't help but melt when he thinks about how much you rely on him, that if he left you would be completely helpless just his dumb little baby. He'll never admit it but he likes you that way.

Alright this was really bad but maybe I'll write something for it eventually 😅

Ahhh! You should definitely, definitely write this Anon! It’s such a good idea💕

Warnings: 18+, toys, pussy slapping, spit, mean Bakugou, one use of the word daddy.

“Please, Katsu. Wanna cum.” You whine as you plunge the dildo deep inside your cunt, your walls pulsing around it as the ribbed edges drag against you. Adding to the stimulation but it’s not enough.

“You were so fuckin’ desperate for me to buy you all these toys and now you don’t even wanna use them.” Bakugou smirked at the pained expression on your face as you rubbed your clit with four fingers. Pushing the dildo in and out of your sloppy cunt as you tried to mimic the way Bakugou fucked you.

“I want your cock instead, please.” You warbled, trying to pick up the pace as the lewd squelch of your juices filled the room, “s’better.”

“What a fuckin’ waste.” Bakugou growled as he palmed the tent in his pants, giving himself some slight relief as he watched the way you tried to get yourself off in front of him, “So ungrateful.”

Bakugou reached over you to grab one of the toys sitting neglected in the bed as he laughed at the way your hopeful eyes glanced up at him, thinking he was going to give you what you wanted. Instead holding the toy in his hands as he felt the weight of it, thumbing the switch as it came to life, “Bet you don’t even know how to fuckin’ use half ‘o these, hah?”

Bakugou felt the vibrations of the toy roar to life as the tremors flowed through his palm. The motions were intense as he kept creeping the power up, the sound increasing as he used his other hand to rip the soaked dildo from your sloppy folds.

“Look at the mess you’ve made and you haven’t even cum yet? Pathetic.” He snarled, your hands moving away from your pussy as you expected him to touch you. To give you the relief you so desperately craved, no one else could make you feel like he did. No one.

He brought two calloused fingers down to pinch your clit between them, laughing at the way your entire lower half jerked at the sensation. Your hips arching off the bed as he continued lower, thumbing through your slick as he circled your throbbing entrance.

“Ruining your hole with this shit when you could just have my cock,” he pushed his thumb inside, curling it towards your g-spot as you began to roll your hips against him. Greedily trying to get yourself off, “I should be the one stretching this slutty pussy out, but you’re too much of a slut aren’tcha? Always wantin’ more.”

“Please,” You felt tears begin to pool in your eyes, blurring your vision as the desire made it difficult to think, the way he touched you made you go dumb with ease, “Please, Suki. I wanna cum for you.”

“For me?” He scoffed, giving your clit a harsh smack with four fingers as a mixture of painful pleasure ebbed through you, “Don’t fuckin’ lie. This is all for you and your slutty little pussy.”

You cried out your objections, moving your hands to tug and pull at your taut nipples but it didn’t feel the same as his hands against your skin. Nothing felt as good as Bakugou Katsuki and he fucking knew it.

“This the toy you begged me for last week?” He asked as he pressed it to your clit. The intense vibrations from the highest setting making you scream out for him, thrashing against the bed.

A sly smirk on his face as he followed your movements, using his fingers to spread your lips apart to pull back the hood of your clit, ensuring the toy was pressed directly against your sensitive nub as the intense vibrations flowed through you.

It didn’t even take a minute for you to come undone, a scrambled mixture of his name leaving your lips as your back arched off the bed, your thighs trying pitifully to close to get rid of the intense vibrations against your lower half.

“See how quick that was, Princess?” Bakugou smirked smugly, “Guess you really can’t cum without me, hah? You really are pathetic.”

He kept the toy against your clit roughly moving it against you as he tried to work you towards another climax. Intent on having you come undone for him again, his cock throbbing in his pants at the sight of you, feeling your juices gushing against his fingers.

“S’too much. Please- I can’t-“ You cried out, the terse orgasm you’d just had overstimulating your body as the toy continued to vibrate harshly against your clit. Your legs quivering as Bakugou was intent to draw another one from your shaking body.

“That’s not what you were saying a second ago, Princess.” Bakugou pressed the toy harder against your clit, grinding it almost painfully against your sensitive nub as his thumb stayed still inside you. Feeling the way your walls pulsed around him, trying to pull him in deeper..

“A second ago you were begging me to make you cum, and now you’re sayin’ it’s ‘too much’” He mocked your voice, scrunching his nose in fake sympathy, “That’s how I know my fuckin’ girlfriend is so ungrateful.”

You cried out for him as your body thrashed on the mattress, your clit throbbing as you felt another climax swiftly approaching. Unable to control your movements as you felt Bakugou use his body weight to pin you down, his vermilion orbs drilling into your own as you trembled against him. Moving his palm to your face as the other stayed pressing the toy to your clit, uncaring his fingers were covered in your slick as he held your cheeks roughly, pushing your lips together in a pout as his Adam’s apple bobbed, spitting down into your open mouth.

“You wanna cum? Daddy’ll make you cum.”

#bakugou thirst #thirst posts #jo thirsts

1K notes · View notes

frogtanii · 3 years

Text

[buckle up; this one is a long one (1.6k words)]

things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

she was supposed to show up, apologize “sincerely,” and the boys, her boys, were supposed to welcome her with open arms and swiftly discard of you.

instead, she was sitting in the back of a cramped police car with two pigs, one of which had a horrible b.o. problem and an affinity for sauerkraut.

it was so frustrating.

and, of course, it was all your fault.

you’d been blocking her from true happiness ever since the beginning when you’d first met in middle school. it was crazy because you’d actually seemed nice; kind, understanding, and you didn’t judge her for what her father did to her mother or for how she acted out because of that.

sure, you were a little weird and sometimes you could be downright rude to other kids in your class but you cared for her in a way that no one else had before.

(un)fortunately, you didn’t come alone — you were a packaged deal. your childhood friend, daishou, came into her life right along with you. she didn’t mind at first; daishou was fun when he wanted to be but he was mostly full of snarky comments and sarcastic quips.

the three of you spent all your time with each other; from playing at the playground to helping her begin her makeup youtube channel in 8th grade.

you all got along pretty well up until you got to highschool. once there, you threw yourself into your studies, sort of retracting yourself from her and daishou.

how selfish.

she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by you—you knew how bad she was at making friends and you didn’t even care, leaving her all alone to fend for herself.

well, not all by herself.

daishou was a constant. no matter where she was, or how alone she was feeling, he was there to provide entertainment at the most, and his presence at the least.

it wasn’t always the healthiest, most functional friendship, she could admit that. there were weeks that daishou would choose to ignore her for no apparent rhyme or reason, citing his explanation as he just didn’t feel like it.

obviously it sucked but he was her only friend, ever since you so cruelly abandoned them. i mean, you still ate lunch with them every day and invited them over to study and hang out, but it was not the same.

with you so absent, she grew closer and closer to daishou to the point she was spending almost every waking moment with him. and, as the story so goes, she fell for him, head over heels.

she knew it was a bad idea, if their friendship was anything to go off of but she didn’t care. she was desperate for love and physical affection and he seemed willing to at least give her the latter.

after she decided to confess, nerves all the way in her throat and a box of chocolates behind her back, daishou took her virginity in the back of his ford fusion, hard, fast and nothing like she’d imagined.

the next day, she’d cornered you in the library (where you always seemed to be) to tell you the good news. your face was unusually blank as she detailed the best night of her life to you, your response being less than stellar when she was done. “please be careful,” you had said.

what did that even mean? you clearly wanted to keep daishou safe from her which was ridiculous because weren’t you supposed to be her friend too? she’d stormed out of the library after that, determined to demand a kiss from daishou to make her feel better.

that day was one of the last that she’d see you for a while. you got caught up with clubs and schoolwork (and apparently therapy for god knows what) while she got caught up with daishou.

things with him weren’t... great. they never really were but things were getting even worse. his random bouts of silence got longer and though it was only freshman year and they’d been dating for less than 5 months, he’d meet with her after school with a hickey plastered on his collarbone that she knew she didn’t put there (she sucked even harder over the spot to claim it as her own).

as she said, things weren’t great but they weren’t horrible either. they remained that way all the way up until sophomore year.

you and her had drifted even further, hardly speaking to one another unless it was for a project or to vaguely greet one another in the halls. it was okay though. you had all your other friends and she... well she had daishou.

speaking of, her “boyfriend” had been more distant than usual. she wasn’t an idiot and she knew he’d been seeing other girls on the side, but she believed she would be the one he’d end up with, the one he’d marry.

how foolish she had been.

it was prom night and she felt beautiful. her beauty channel had finally begun picking up traction (she’d just hit 13k subscribers the night before!!) so she filmed a prom night makeup tutorial, making sure that every square inch of her face was perfect. donning a silky blue floor length dress, she felt like a princess and she certainly looked the part.

she showed up to daishou’s house about 30 minutes before the event, ringing his doorbell with an elated grin painted all over her face. he had mentioned in passing that his parents and older sister would be out for the weekend, leaving the house for themselves. that meant sex and sex meant being wanted.

after the third ring of the bell, she started to get nervous. maybe he wasn’t ready yet? maybe he needed help with his tie? just when she was about to wring the bell again, the door swung open to reveal daishou... not in his suit.

“oh, it’s you,” he’d grumbled. “‘m not goin’ to prom.” she felt her breath catch in her throat. she’d protested and begged for an explanation but he wouldn’t give one to her. eventually, she’d followed him into his house, furious because how could he do this to her? on her night?

it didn’t take very long for him to get fed up, his snake-like eyes honing in on her, filled with venom. “‘m not goin’ because i don’t like you anymore. you still look pretty though.”

just like that, with just a few words, he’d shattered her heart. she was frozen in place, completely disconnected from daishou, her love, as he not-so-gently pushed her out the door, slamming it in her face.

she felt tears stream down her cheeks and before she knew it, her legs were carrying her to a place she hadn’t been in months.

banging frantically on the door, she cried out, begging for someone, anyone to hear her. the door opened quickly and there you stood. you’d clearly been studying but as you took in her frazzled appearance, it seemed as though your heart broke.

you ushered her inside, sat her own the couch, and began to make her a cup of tea, your parents having been out for the night as well. once the kettle went off, you quickly prepped her drink and gave it to her, the words flowing out of her like liquid once she had taken a sip.

she didn’t know why she was even there but despite the animosity between the two of you, you seemed like you truly... cared. (neither of you mentioned the tears that stained your favorite t shirt or the quiet apologies you muttered into her hair).

that night quickly went and passed and by the next day, she was feeling rejuvenated and more like herself. however, that feeling quickly dissipated when she caught you in the hallway between classes speaking with daishou behind the stairwell in hushed tones.

within the span of a few hours, her heart had been broken twice and she was sure she’d never felt such heartache before.

she turned on her heel and darted away, avoiding your every attempt to talk to her for weeks and weeks until you just... stopped trying. after you’d cut off conversation, yet again, the sadness quickly festered and morphed into anger.

that anger only grew when she watched you graduate at the top of your class in your senior year, your smile blinding as you accepted your diploma. it only grew when she saw that you had made it into the university of your choice on your instagram story, her own rejection letter torn up in the bottom of her wastebin. it only grew when she saw you’d made your own youtube channel, her own going untouched and neglected (her last video had been a half-assed “get ready with me” that had more dislikes than likes due to her horrible makeup and even worse attitude).

soon enough, the rage had intensified until it had taken over her whole being. she was just so angry at all that you’d done to her, all the ways you’d ruined her life that she couldn’t keep herself from plotting your demise.

when she got the email from the hyper house management team that invited her into the house and offered the option that she could pick someone she wanted to move in as well, her anger turned into excitement.

this was her chance. this was her moment to turn your life into a living hell, to make it at least a fraction of what she went through by your hands.

she was going to make you pay and god, was it going to feel great.

the metal of the handcuffs chafed her wrists as she adjusted herself against the cool leather of the cruiser, the discomfort removing her from her reverie.

yeah, right. it seemed as though she was the only one “paying” right about now.

she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes but refusing to fall.

things definitely weren’t meant to turn out like this. not at all.

℗ poker face

not like this

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - OMFG THE BACKSTORY REVEALED I AM SO OVER IT >:(( this took me forever to write and i still wasn’t able to include everything i wanted to so hop over to my asks if you need any clarification!! oh oh && just a reminder, this playlist is from meiko’s perspective so chances are, things didn’t exactly go just like this wink wonk KAJS ANYWAYS DONT FORGET TO FEED ME ILY <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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yourmcu · 3 years

Text

Forgotten (CONTINUED VERSION)

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)

Request:

Hello i love your story could you do angsty tony x daughter reader. Wherein the reader has a twin brother and Tony and the avengers prefer the twin brother and becaus of that, the reader became rebel and badass. She always getting trouble and almost drop out student. The avengers and her father were seem disappointed and dont know what to do. Not until the reader involve into car accident and she's critical injured. The reader also slipped to coma. Everyone is devastated about the reader conditione. And they realized that the reader only rebel because she wants to get attention from them. It depends to you what the end come, I just want a full angst this week and I hope you dont mind my English. Anyway I hope your alright.

A/n: y’all wanted it, I finished it :)

Word count: 3,984

(more notes at the end!)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort? bad writing of an anxiety attack, accident, knife, hospitals

read it on ao3!

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

Being a genius/billionaire/superhero’s kid doesn’t always sound nice like it usually does.

You were one of the Stark twins, the other half being your brother, Ethan.

The both of you showed signs that you inherited the commonly known Stark trait (intelligence) at a young age. But Tony mostly focused on his son, showing him all his inventions and gadgets, teaching him everything he knew while you on the other hand, were being babysat by Happy or Pepper, sometimes Rhodey.

You tried so hard to get your father’s attention but he always had his excuses:

“I don’t have time for that.”

“I’m busy with Ethan right now.”

“Maybe later.”

At first you didn’t mind if your brother got all the praise and attention. It wasn’t until your mid-teens that you really started to feel left out and ignored.

You were left to frown when the other Avengers never found anything interesting about you, just like Tony did. They all liked Ethan better. The topic of him being the next Iron Man when Tony retires is getting exhausting.

There was this one time when Tony announced that they were all going out to dinner since Ethan got, yet again, a full set of A’s on his report card.

“Did you get my card?” You tapped on Tony’s shoulder lightly.

He gave you a side glance, “ah shoot, I forgot. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” Then returned his attention to your brother.

But he ended up forgetting again the next day and you had to convince your teacher to give it to you instead. Your marks had A’s, but littered with B’s as well, of course that was no match for your brother’s perfect marks.

And that sort of scenario wasn’t just a one time thing, Tony forgets to pick up your report card every. single. time. The messed up part was you and Ethan literally attended the same school, he was just in a more advanced class than you.

As time passed, Tony went from ignoring you to getting annoyed and pissed at you for everything you did. In his eyes, you were always in the wrong. And the reason? You didn’t know.

“Dad? Can I borrow Bruce for a minute?” You knocked on the glass door of his lab to get him to look up.

He didn’t, but responded, “kinda busy with him right now.”

You looked at your fractured arm, regretting your decisions. “W-well, Ethan was training with Nat, and... and he wanted to try the new moves he learned on me. He went a little hard and - I think my arm’s broken, I just wanted Bruce to check it out-”

“Goddammit!” He shouted after you heard a glass shatter. Bruce covered his face with palms, muttering an ‘oh no’.

Tony glared at you, striding to where you were standing. All that was left for you to do was to brace yourself for what was about to come. “See, this is why we never let you do anything with the team,” he spat. “That right there?”-he pointed to your arm-“that’s on you. Things go wrong because you’re in the way!”

“I’m... I’m sorry-”

“Just get out of here.”

Your arm remained untreated after that.

Then Peter Parker came into the picture. Friendly guy, he was actually nice to you. Him and Ethan got along right away when Tony first recruited him. The fact that he treated Peter better than you made you even more miserable. It made you think he never wanted a daughter in the first place.

You first met Peter when he accidentally entered your room without warning, thinking it was the bathroom. Cliche, but that’s what happened.

“It’s on the first door to your other left,” you stated.

“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks,” he turned around to leave but stopped to look at you again. “I’m Peter Parker, by the way.”

“Y/N Stark.”

Peter’s eyes lit up at your last name. “I... I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter - no offense! It’s just-”

You sighed and waved him off. He didn’t even notice the similarities you had with your twin. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”

After many events of being, to be blunt, treated like shit, you finally had enough. You neglected your studies, only went to school when you felt like it (which was rare). No one cared your grades anyway, so what’s the point? You became a whole new person, you surrounded yourself with the wrong sort of people, causing you to dabble into smoking and alcohol.

Since you were always in trouble, you could recite Cap’s detention speech at school by heart now.

The principal of your school wanted to see Tony to talk about your behavior. Normally he’d make an excuse not to go if it wasn’t that important but he got flooded with messages from the school, so he couldn’t say no.

You had your legs crossed, sitting across from Tony who had his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the principal. For some reason you didn’t feel nervous. “Y/N barely attends her classes. I’ve seen every attendance. Are you aware of this, Mr. Stark?”

Tony only maintained his usual relaxed posture and avoided your gaze.

“Some students have also seen her smoke in school grounds. We gave her a few weeks suspension for it, but it doesn’t look like she’s learned her lesson.” They pulled out a couple boxes of cigarettes from the desk drawer. “We found these in her locker.”

“You went into my locker?” You shot up from your seat. “You can’t just do that!”

Tony cleared his throat and got up, gripping your wrist. “I’ll take it from here - will that be all?”

On the way out he doesn’t say a word to you, only that his grip on your wrist got tight as you near the car.

“So,” he started the car. His voice was calm, but it screamed that you were in deep trouble. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

You sighed and slouched in the passenger’s seat, crossing your arms. “I’m... sorry you had to know...?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna be honest with you here,” Tony still doesn’t look at you. “When I found out I had two kids, I got worried about Ethan.”

You let out a snort. Of course he would.

“I didn’t want him ending up like me. But surprise surprise, my daughter did instead.”

“I’m not ‘ending up’ like you, Dad-”

“Then what do you call - this,” he referred to you. “What, you’re just gonna waste your life, drop out of school? You’re a fucking mess, Y/N, and here I thought I raised you right. Sometimes I think: why can’t you just be like your brother?” He had a hard grip on the steering wheel as he drove, the way he spoke affected the speed of the car greatly.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t fine the exact words you wanted to say. “I... well, I’m sorry I’m not a goody two shoes like him!”

“That’s not what I-”

“Please, that’s exactly what you meant.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m grounding you until you pull yourself together, understand?” And he did. He gave new orders to Friday when the both of you got home. You weren’t allowed to leave the compound without Tony’s permission.

Were you giving up that easily? Of course not.

You were on your laptop for the rest of the day, hacking into Friday’s system, the security to the elevator and the entrance. That night, your executed your plan and everything went smoothly.

“This is why you never underestimate me,” you sighed, deactivating the hack once you were out of the building.

Your friend who was picking you up was already waiting a few blocks away from the compound. “I hope you’re cool with me staying over for a couple days.”

“If a bunch of Avengers come and destroy my place to look for you, I’m not going to be friends with you anymore.”

You laughed at out, “oh trust me, they don’t care.”

----

The next day no one noticed your absence, nobody did for another two days. Tony just assumed you were mad about your punishment, so he didn’t think of it much.

Not until Peter came to the compound on the third day, wanting to hang out with you.

“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Ethan asked.

“Star Wars movies. I wanna watch them with Y/N - she could use some company, don’t you think?”

The older Stark twin shrugged, “yeah, I guess she could.”

Peter then headed to the elevator and stopped at the floor where your room was. He knocked on your door and waited a bit, after a few minutes of silence he knocked again, still nothing.

“Y/N? Is it okay if I come in?” He called out. No response. He hesitated a bit, for all he knew you were probably changing or something, or you could be in danger. He went to open the door anyway. “I’m coming in, I’ll close my eyes just to be-”

To Peter’s surprise, your room was empty.

----

You were at a 711 parking lot, waiting for your friends who were buying supplies for a house party. You gave them your wallet, not really caring about anything anymore. Your phone was starting to pile up with messages and missed calls from Tony, Edward and Peter, occasionally from the others as you scrolled pass more.

Without thinking you threw your phone to the ground, cracking the screen, breaking it completely. They’d be able to track you through it now that they know you ran away. You really had no intention of coming back. You weren’t wanted, what’s the point of going back?It’s early but you’ve had a few drinks already. You weren’t sure if breaking your phone was a good idea but there’s one thing you’re sure: you didn’t care anymore.

You didn’t have to turn your head to see who just arrived and ambushed your friends inside the store. They ran out and left you behind. The sound of webs coming out of his shooters was enough for you to tell.

“You shouldn’t be here, Peter,” you sighed defeatedly.

Peter gently took a seat next to you, not removing his mask since you were in public and handed your wallet back. “I don’t understand why you left.”

He took in your awful state. His suit scanned how intoxicated you were, estimated how many cigarette packets you’ve had. His frown deepened at the information.

“I care about you. We all do. Mr. Stark’s not going to stop the search party until you come home.”

You rolled your eyes at the term. “Stupid search party – pathetic – I’m not coming home anymore, Pete-” you slurred and tried to get up but stumbled back, almost twisting your ankle but fell to Peter’s side. “Ow.”

He sighed, struggling to get ahold of you since you always pulled away.

“Stop being so stubborn, okay?”

“If you don’t like my stubborn fucking ass then maybe you should just leave,” you stated. “I’m not wanted there. I got the message. I didn’t run away just to be fucking found.”

Peter stared at you for a moment. He didn’t know why you got grounded in the first place, how you got here and why you didn’t want to go back home. There was something off in the father-daughter relationship, he knew that, but it was news to him that it was that bad. That bad for you to waste your life, to run away. He always thought Mr. Stark was an awesome parent, the way he was treating Ethan, and him…

“It’s unfair,” you ranted. “God, if you only knew how pathetic I feel whenever he tells me off. I’m always annoying to him - not just to him, to the whole team, I’m always wrong in everything I do and it’s honestly tiring? What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

You went on rambling while Peter tried to comfort and deny every negative thing that came out of your mouth. He didn’t believe any of it, but the way everyone’s been treating you. He hated that he didn’t notice sooner. He could’ve defended you.

“I have nothing against you, I really don’t,” you sighed. “But you should be grateful they’re treating you perfectly.” You got up and strode to the opposite direction, mentally cursing because your friends ditched you and you has nowhere to go, phone destroyed and everything.

But you were staying true to your word: you didn’t have any plans to go back to the compound. You were going to figure your life out on your own.

“Y/N, I… I’m not leaving you alone out here!”

You were so fed up of the spider-ling. How good he was, how perfect, how Tony clearly wanted him more than you, how he always wanted to do the right thing, because none of you expected what happened next when he went to grab your shoulder. The action was so sudden that it Peter didn’t have time to avoid it.

Knife, shoulder, really deep.

Maybe it was just how wasted you were, because he knew you would never do anything like that.

“You’re really annoying, Parker,” you muttered, not wasting any more time watching him stumble out of shock and pain, sprinting across the streets.

With his uninjured arm, he shot webs while trying to pull the knife (the blade wasn’t even visible anymore on how deep it was) out of his shoulder. There was a loud bang, and Peter never sprinted so fast in his life, not caring less about the pain and blood, because what mattered most was your safety. When he got there, you were far from safe.

-----

A week went by. And during those seven days Tony was on edge, I mean, how can be calm at a time like that?

Peter managed to show up at the compound the same night, breathless and shaky. His state made everyone worried but he wasted no time telling Tony what happened. He got you to the hospital, making sure you were being sorted out right before leaving to break the news.

Tony didn’t think twice and went to the hospital where you were admitted, not listening to Peter’s apologies and leaving Steve to sort everyone out on what they should do.

They didn’t expect you to show signs of waking up after only a week since the accident got you mangled up, it was mostly a blow to the head and as expected, you slipped into a coma.

Right, what happened: an awful timing really, not sure if Peter’s the one to blame but he accidentally stuck you to the ground with his webs, and it just so happened a car was driving at a fast speed – there you go.

Tony made sure you got the best treatment possible. He even went and asked Strange if he could do all the surgeries needed, but he declined, claiming he couldn’t anymore despite the sympathy he felt inside. Instead he asked the best doctors he knew, but still helped out sometimes in any way he could.

You took a breath, trying to open your eyes but the blinding lights of your room and them almost feeling as if they were glued shut from not being open for so long prevented you. You also tried moving your hands, only to feel a warm one rest on top of it, you finally opened your eyes.

“You’re awake,” Tony mumbled, rubbing a thumb on the back of your palm soothingly. “You’re awake and you’re okay.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, spotting his mentor sitting outside the room where they were doing the final surgery on you. It was his first time visiting, seeing as the knife wound was worse than he thought. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“What happened?” Was the only thing Tony said, not looking up to look at the kid. Peter stood there for a moment but told him everything that happened.

After that and after he made sure you were okay, resting in your room and everything, he let Natasha look after you for the night and headed back to the compound.

The kid would never lie to him but he had to see it all for himself. The Spider-Man suit caught everything through the baby monitor protocol. From when he arrived to the convenient store, when you told him countless of times that you weren’t coming back, and when your drunk self ranted about what you felt.

“What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

“He seemed to like both of us equally when we were younger,” you sniffled. “Of course he would, but… my brother just turned out to be special and talented and,” you frowned, “he’s all Tony ever wanted for a kid. Maybe I reminded him of the chick he fucked, I don’t know – must be it, right?”

“Y/N, you’re just as special as-” Peter tried to reason but you threw him a glare. Tony could see the pain and heartbreak in your bloodshot, tired eyes. One that said you didn’t want to hear anything like it anymore. You didn’t want to believe it.

“The thing is, they only want you when you’re gone. Missing. Dead,” you shrugged. “I can take a hint, you know? My only family hates me. My only family doesn’t want me. Now you – all of them – are looking for me… why?” Peter flinched at the loudness of your voice. You truly were broken.

Tony fast forwarded, it didn’t clearly show how you got hit, but he had enough anyway. He wanted to make things right with you. He could only hope that you make pass this, hoping that you’ll let him make it up to you.

“It’s not too late, you know,” Steve said from the entrance to his lab. “Y/N is strong. She’ll make it.”

“Why am I not dead?” You croaked, looking at your father with an anxious expression. You letting out another shaky breath as you struggled to move and look around. “I should be dead. Why am I here-”

“Take it easy-”

“Don’t you understand?” You felt your throat aching, breath quickening. “I don’t want to be here!”

“No, you’re okay. Y/N you’re okay,” Tony tried to calm you down when he saw the lines in your heart monitor go up and down in rapid pace.

“I’m not - no I’m not - not okay,” you struggled to let out. It felt like you were choking on your own breath, getting harder and harder to breathe by the minute, soon tears started to prick your eyes. “I don’t want to be here!”

“Tony, what's going on?” Steve bursted into the room with an alarmed but calm expression.

“Call Strange. Anyone.” He told the captain but his eyes never left you. He rubbed a part of your arm that wasn’t injured soothingly in attempt to calm you down. “Just breathe for me, okay? I’m here and you’re okay.”

Something about the softness and encouraging look in his eyes made you nod eventually and follow his breathing patterns. He held a glass of water for you to drink, holding your struggling hand softly to get it out of the way.

He’s never looked at you like that before.

Most of the time he ignored you, most of the time he looked at you at anger or annoyance when you’ve fucked something up.

“There we go, we okay now?” You looked away and nodded lightly. That was enough for him. Tony wanted to let you know how sorry he was so bad, but thought against it, at least for now. He was scared you might start freaking out again.

Stephen entered the room with the doctor, the other Avengers following closely behind. The amount of people in the room overwhelmed you a bit, but you were strangely calm because of how your father’s acting. Soft and caring, it made you feel safe.

Both doctors concluded that you had some sort of amnesia. In English, your past memories were blotchy, all of them even from your childhood. Again because of the blow to the head it was already expected. But you remembered the recent ones clearly, which was the reason why you avoided looking at Peter and his patched up arm.

Which also meant it was possible you didn’t remember all of the pain you felt concerning your family. It was unfair on your part.

Strange insisted that you stay a few more days, or one more week, just to run tests and make sure you get enough medicine and stuff.

They decided to see how bad your memory loss was.

“I did that to you,” you still refused to look at Peter completely. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Peter gave you a smile.

You moved to the next person. Red hair, seemed to give off a friendly but civil nature. “Natasha? You’re Natasha.”

The Russian merely smiled and crossed her arms.

“Steve,” you stated, moving to the next person. “You always read old books in the kitchen.”

Steve chuckled, nodding to confirm.

“Ethan,” you smiled as you looked at your twin. He gave you a small wave even if he felt as guilty as Tony about everything even if he wasn’t the one to blame.

You stared longer at the next person, almost shoulder length dark brown hair, he’s wearing a jacket to cover his metal arm but you knew it was still there.

“Ducky?”

Peter let out a giggle, so did you brother.

“It’s Bucky, doll,” Bucky smiled, covering his face with his hand to suppress a chuckle as the rest laughed.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” you let out a weak giggle yourself.

You meet Tony’s eyes again, the softness still there.

“Dad,” you stated. “You’re my dad. Tony.”

No, you didn’t completely forget how he treated you. You knew he was annoyed with you, which lead you to think that you did something that made him act that way. “Am I bad?”

Tony’s hopeful expression dimmed. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “You’re mad at me, I just… I guess it’s just not clear on why.”

Steve thought it would be best for everyone to head out for a bit so he ushered everyone out of the room except for your brother who took a seat at the corner.

“About that, it’s about time we talked, yeah?” Tony sat on a chair backwards beside your bed. It made you nervous, but you were reassured. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.”

He exhaled, resting an arm on the top rail. “You deserve so much better. I should’ve treated you better,” you opened your mouth to ask but he continued. “Look, I haven’t been fair with you and it’s a problem. You’re smart, talented and beautiful. I figured you needed to hear it more often because it’s true. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I really am.”

Your bottom lip involuntarily trembled. “You – you really mean that?”

“From the bottom of my heart.”

You sighed, a genuine smile plastered on your face. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass-“

“You never were,” Tony shook his head. “You always did your best and I really should have acknowledged it more. Give me a second chance?”

“Of course.”

Tony smiled, getting up and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.

Everything in life was so much better after all that. Tony treated you and Ethan equally, same goes for Peter. The other Avengers were nicer, not the kind of nice that was almost fake, but it was genuine. All of them were. And you were thankful.

----

TAGLIST: @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @angeldreineedshelp @legendarymcnuggies @zoeyserpentluck @vienmiaprendere @alainabooks143 @hessogxlden

DID ANYONE MISS ME? BC I MISSED THIS PLACE

I highly doubt anyone’s still waiting for this, it was an unplanned hiatus I’M SO SORRY but I decided to post anyway :))

also I hope this wasn’t underwhelming, that’s one of the reasons why I was hesitant to do this but I hope its good heh (I’ve included the parts from my first post as well, just so it feels like a full fic)

WAIT I ALSO HIT 300 FOLLOWERS? INSANE. THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.

1K notes · View notes

moonlightchn · 3 years

Text

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Hello this is (not) JYPe and guess who's feeling soft again? this mf 💞 heh I just thought hey it's been a while and I kinda am seeing how a lot of us are falling back on activity and posting less and stuff and I kinda feel like the general activity of the community has come DOWN a lot which I mean it's OK!!!! because we all have lives!!!! right? but also I do kinda WORRY LIKE WHERE YALL AT i guess I just kinda wanna make sure we're all doing good? yall holding on? taking care? sleeping and stuff? I've seen also many bots pop up again recently (STARES AT THAT ONE ADMIN THAT MADE LIKE 3 BOTS IN 2 MONTHS WITH LIKE 10 PPLZ EACH YES YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE) and I know bot can sometimes feel like a job more than a fun relaxing place for some so just take it easy on that too just making sure we all remember that things around here aren't that deep and you can take it at your own pace. this has always been supposed to be a safe, fun place where we make friends and have a blast, so if it doesnt feel like that anymore step back, take a deep breath and then come back if you want but like dont feel like you gotta be here and keep putting stuff out for others

I know school work, uni, real work, family, responsibilities, it can all be too much sometimes and drive us a little bit insane. I personally have a 🤩🤩 fun few days coming 🤩🤩 I hope I don't die 🤩🤩 so yeah maybe I'm PROJECTING RN but yknow how it be, I think its important sometimes to remind ourselves that, yknow, stepping back and taking some time for ourselves it's also ok. I sometimes just log out and not having my phone vibrating and notifs popping up for just a few hours feels refreshing. it's ok. you wont miss out on anything important for treating yourself to one internet free day

we take so many things seriously sometimes dont we? like, sure theres things that ARE important like keeping connections and friends and staying healthy and safe, but also theres so many things that are important for ??? no valid reason ??? or that maybe we wrongly prioritize over other things like for example dont prioritize your bot development over your sleep plz don't do that it's not worth it rip, or dont feel like you need to be around 24/7 when you have other things to do or just don't want to. dont feel like you're neglecting bot because you have to study or feel like going out with friends is pushing you back here. dont feel like being behind in notifs is such a big deal. youre a great admin and you're doing well!

but also like,,,, dont prioritize work and uni over sleep and eating and taking breaks and going out and getting fresh air either. really just prioritize yourself first. sometimes being here just as admin and sharing and talking to friends is good enough. you dont always need to be your character, you don't always need to keep an image or a clean neat blog. you can just enjoy and go around shitposting that's really ok! (bunnies for the soul)

yknow it's really cliche to think about it but sometimes you just gotta sit back and be like what am i doing? why am i doing this? what am I taking from this? is this meaningful or beneficial for my life and my growth and my wellbeing? like tumblr as any social media can be TOXIC it rlly still is just because we don't see shit it doesnt mean it's not going on and just because we don't go through something anymore it doesn't mean it hasnt hurt us or leave us super fucking paranoid around.

I JUST AM SAYING that I know many of us maybe feel safe and welcomed and at home here or like we won't get this thing we have here anywhere else but I think we make our own safety and comfort yknow? itd be really sad to see some of you go and the community poof but I also think that for us to keep carrying this thing we have and for us to protect it and for more people to feel welcome and safe we first need to look at ourselves and be sure we can actually keep doing this. I see posts pop here and there about admins feeling sad they get no interactions or how people they talked to has left or how they simply have things going on that makes them sad and unable to be around and I think often we forget, even though we say it ALL the time, that we're all just people behind these. dont forget you're just a person too. I've personally been having quite a hard time coming around with the boys on dms, anyone who talks to me knows that, but as admin? I'm always here. and sure none of us HAS to feel responsible of others, we're not /individually/ responsible of someone's fun or popularity or how long they stick around, but as a whole community we are all responsible somehow of this place's safety and to look ALL after each other. don't forget we're all just people and don't push each other to get things

anyway what im trying to say is that I do fucking love all of you so much and like I worry yknow??? I worry a lot when I see someone upset or I feel like an admin is in a kinda place. it's been just a bit over a year since I've joined this and ive been lucky enough to meet some amazing people that will always live in my heart no matter what and some others maybe I do not really know you or talk to you but I do appreciate your existence yknow you're not invisible and I notice when some of yall delete or when someone I see around makes a new bot and I 👀 or when yall change @s without telling and I have to go through my lists to fix them. maybe it's not enough but I do notice you and I hope you know that. and so because I love all of you I do think that I am a bit responsible of putting at least one smile on your faces throughout the day too be it with a post or a rb or an ask and so I do hope all of you feel a little responsible about someone else's happiness too. I know dash can be hard, I know dms can be hard, and I'm.not saying hey go befriend each other RN but maybe just stopping by someone's bot and "hey this is v cool!", I'm sure that would mean a lot for many people

maybe I just ate too much sugar today. whatever it be, have bunnies I love this kind of art

#adminnie soft hours #i just #rlly love yall #and i hope youre all ok #word vomiting is my passion #also bunnies ♡#now i leave

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

a domestic moment

why you should never eavesdrop part two. dont hateme if they dont go together well. i will put more in the third part that makes it better.

Masterlist

kakashi and reader

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

He hesitates outside the door, part of him wants to just take his chances on the street rather than go in your room. He’s terrified of letting someone in, but he craves it, he misses it. He misses having someone to care about, he’s been neglecting that part of him for so long, just forcing the feelings down and doing his duties as a ninja. Is he even ready to take that step? To potentially ruin whatever good friendship you have right now? To have someone he cares about? He wants to be ready. He really needs to be ready. He takes a deep breath and lightly knocks against the door.

When you dont answer he opens the door slowly, peeking his head in. he smiles and sighs when he sees you passed out on top of the futon, he walks in slowly and crouches down by you, “how long did i keep you waiting?” he says softly and brushes your hair out of your face, you reach up taking his wrist gently, not opening your eyes “too long, now come to bed” you say softly, still asleep he realizes as your hand falls from his wrist. His erratic heart slowing down as he chuckles softly. He would have slept on a different mat but you must have forgotten to separate them because they were stacked on top of each other under your sleeping body. He sighs, he should sleep on the floor, he knows this, but you did tell him to come to bed…

After silently putting his stuff down he takes off his shirt and mask and crawls into bed beside you, pulling the blanket up over his face and finding comfort in the warmth of your body next to him. He lets out a long breath, relaxing completely, he watches you for a few minutes, you were so beautiful, he kind of wanted to stay awake just to look at you without you thinking its weird but before he knows it he’s fast asleep.

You wake up slowly, relishing the comfort of your warm bed, until you realize that its not your warm bed, you’re laying on a warm body, cheek on his chest and arm up on his shoulder, your hand against his neck and chin and your other arm tucked under you. You keep your eyes closed once you realize your hand is against skin, even tho you’re looking the other way to just wanna be safe.

Your fingers brush softly across against his cheek and you smile, such soft skin. His bare chest against your cheek gives you butterflies, his breathing lifts your head gently and then lowers it, his breath tickling your neck. You brush your fingers across his cheek again, your heartbeat racing but you refused to give this up sooner than you needed.

“That tickles” he says and your hand freezes but doesn't move, it just stays gently resting against his neck and cheek “I’m sorry” he chuckles softly but doesn’t move or ask you to move. You open your eyes since your face is looking in the other direction and you find it to still be dark out, the sunrise must be soon. “Are you sorry about waking me up or sorry about not moving the beds? Or maybe you’re sorry for telling me to come to bed but from how you're still against my chest I doubt it’s that one” you begin to caress his cheek again, sighing in contentment before saying softly “for waking you. I don't regret the other two so i won’t apologize for them” he chuckles again and you can’t help but smile against the sound and feeling it gives you because you’re on his chest.

He brings his hand out from under his head, placing it gently on your head before running his fingers through your soft hair. “The sun will be up soon” he says, enjoying the absolute domestic feeling of this morning with you, unwilling to break it anytime soon. “I guess that we have about an hour until the meeting” you say and he nods against your touch. You move your hand slowly, father up to his hair, and start to wrap locks around your fingertips. He sighs softly, happily, you realize, and your cheeks flush.

You lay there for about fifteen more minutes in comfortable silence, him playing with your hair and you running your fingertips across his soft skin on his neck and cheek, then down to his shoulder, drawing various shapes and writing various words, and sometimes playing with his hair. You don't move your head, don't try and see his face, you respect him too much to even think about invading that privacy.

When the sunlight is on the horizon outside of the window you’re looking at you begin to push yourself up to get ready for the meeting. “Wait” he says softly, placing his hand on your shoulder, keeping you against his chest. You chuckle and relax back against him “we’re going to be late ‘Kashi” he chuckles “that’s not new for me” you cup his cheek again and brush against his strong jaw “that may be true but you know it makes me anxious being late” he sighs “i know. Just five more minutes though. Okay?” you bring your other arm up and hold on to his side, tracing his scars and ribs with your fingers “Okay” you agree softly, not wanting to get up as much as he does.

He takes the hand that is against his ribs and brings it farther up to his neck, reaching down and pulling your face up to look at him. You close your eyes before he comes into view. Your chin against his chest facing him and he chuckles “you are the only one who hasn't asked me what’s under my mask, and the only one who hasn’t even tried to look” you smile softly, your eyes still closed, he cups your cheek softly and you blush “I’ll be honest, I never even thought about it. If you don't want people to see then that’s your business” he brushes your hair back, tucking it behind your ear “look at me” he whispers and you furrow your brows “are you sure?” you ask and he chuckles again, shaking you softly, “yes y/n” he smooths out your forehead with his fingers.

You slowly open your eyes, noticing the sun coming in through the window and hitting his forehead and eyes, like a halo. your eyes focus on his face, smiling softly and noticing his eyes look nervous. You smile and reach up, running your fingers across his jaw, your eyes on his face, studying him for so long in silence, makes his stomach knot in nerves and his heart race, “hi” you say softly and he chuckles “hi” he responds and you grab his shoulder, softly pulling yourself forward to kiss his cheek “beautiful” you whisper and and blushes. His fingers touching his cheek where you kissed. He brushes his fingertips across your cheek, “beautiful” he says and your cheeks flush. “We have to get to that meeting” you’re trying not to get distracted but it’s difficult when he’s looking at you like that, like he could spend forever laying with you here.

“Then let’s get up” he says, still running his fingertips across your cheek and neck. You lay your head on his chest and take a deep breath, you kiss his chest and then start to pull away, hating that you have to ruin this moment.

He groans and follows suit, you dress facing the window and he does facing the door, packing up your small amount of things and folding the bedding just to be nice. You do these things in silence, not wanting to accept the fact that the moment that both of you have craved, is over. You turn in your key at the front desk, grabbing an easy breakfast that you can eat while walking, and head to the meeting.

“Oh darling!” the Kage you were meeting with shouted in a sweet voice that betrayed his menacing appearance, and a small girl came running in “yes papa?” she says with a smile, her pigtails bouncing “this letter came for you! It is from your cousin from the leaf. She wants to know if you will come and stay with her for the summer?” the girl gets excited “yes please” she says and tugs on his arm while jumping up and down. “Good!” he says and pulls out his wallet. “you will escort my daughter back with you, deliver her safely. Since it wasn't part of the original deal, which it says the deal in the letter, i will compensate you” you glance at Kakashi who looks like he wants to scream but instead he sighs. “Since we are already headed back we will accept this mission” you nod, that is exactly what you thought he’d say, what you realized as well, there as no one else who could protect her out there like you guys could. “Great! You all will leave tomorrow” he hands Kakashi a pouch and you a similar one that jingled when you took it. “We will be back here at 7 tomorrow morning” you say and bow then follow kakashi out the door.

#naruto kakashi #kakashi hakate x y/n #kakashi x reader #kakashi x y/n #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi hakate #kakashi x you #kakashi fluff #kakashi #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x reader

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rebellioussinner09 · 3 years

Text

Who’s in Control?

Sub Kuroo x dom Fem Reader ❤️

Warning: VERY INTENSE AND LOTS OF CURSE WORDS AND KAMANYAKAN HAHAHAH (CHARACTER IS ABOVE 18 here)

If there’s one thing Kuroo prides himself for is that he knows he has good stamina.

Actually good was an understatement, he knows he has *excellent stamina* not only for playing volleyball but also for bedroom activities.

And Not to mention he was rough and unforgiving when it comes to sex(at least thats what he tells himself)

And he definitely uses that gift for his own advantages,

I mean he himself witnessed on how Y/N would just loose her mind from his Overstimulation or just his thrusting in general.

And a lot of their friends and peers often jokes about on how Y/N handles Kuroo’s attitude. Because as they quote “kuroo seems to be the type of guy who’s into bdsm”

*because lets be real He wasn’t called scheming captain by his team for nothing*

And Even Kenma and Bokuto would join in on that playful banter that Kuroo needs to tone it down sometimes so that Y/N can at least breath and have a chance to keep up with him.

Kuroo would only nod and smile to those comments because oh how wrong their assumptions were.

Because if the roles had been reversed, Y/N was literally 100x worse when it comes to teasing and sadism.

His teammates cleary hasn’t seen Y/N’s all dominant glory when she’s the one taking the reigns on their relationship.

And Kuroo totally had his first hand experience on this;

There was a time where they made a bet on who could last a week on teasing before the other one break, and Y/N won that bet fair and square cause not once did he saw her Crumble, she just shrugged off Kuroo’s efforts in teasing like it was just nothing.

And the dirty talk

*oh god the dirty talk*

If kuroo had a filthy mouth that calls out degrading terms when doing the deed, Y/N was more of a sweet smoth talker that would coo and whisper sweet nothings on your ear and somehow that was 10x worse cause man that girl knows her way with her words.

She would babble out on “how much of a good boy” Tetsuro has been and on how proud she is of him while she bounces herself up and down on his cock.

At that; Kuroo can practically pinpoint the moment he realizes and accepts he is no match for a dom Y/N

So he only whimpers in response as she digs her claws at the back of his shoulders as she continue the activity on riding him.

“Who’s my sweet boy now?” Y/N asks, her fingers slowly tracing the veins on Kuroo’s biceps.

“I am” Kuroo pants desperately “I am baby please- you’re killing me”

But the girl in front of her only raises a brow back at him, she growls loudly as her hand went up to grip Kuroo’s neck

“Now that’s not one way to adress me” she demands as she squeezed the lining of Kuroo’s adam’s apple

“Mommy” Kuroo moaned below her “Im sorry Mommy please”

With a satisfied smirk, Y/N realeses her hold, she leans down to her partners eye level to give him a passionate kiss on the lips

“Ok baby. You can cum now”

As if on command, Kuroo bucks his hips against her core as he splurted his load deep inside her

“Fuck” he hisses between his teeth.

By the time he was finished, he gives Y/N a sturdy glare “You’re killing me” he groans

But his girl only giggles in response “That’s what you get for picking a fight with Bokuto today”

And that was only Level 01 of Y/N being a dom.

Level 2 was way more intense and extreme because it involves a certain strap on toy that Y/N bought online

And to be honest Kuroo was a bit hesistant at getting pegged at first, because no way in hell was he agreeing on shoving up a dildo up to his prostate,

but the protest died on his mouth the moment Y/N pushed him in all fours over towards the bed.

“Awww but baby you take me so good” she purrs as she gently tugs of Kuroo’s boxers from his waist.

“Surely a big boy like you can handle a little strap on now would you?”

Kuroo lets out a deep growl as Y/N prods a finger into his hole to at least stretch it out before she pushes the toy in

“Y/N-“ he warnes

“Yes baby?”

He was about to retort a complaint when he feels the silicon material pushed up against his p-spot

“Fuck” he curses as he grabs a fistful the sheets below him

“You okay?” Y/N asks once she was fully in.

“M’good” Kuroo breathes “Just take it slow on me baby please”

But Y/N’s definition of slow was quite the opposite cause she rutted in him almost quickly as he lets the 7 inch toy slide in and out of him.

The overwhelming sensation of being full and the constant hitting of his prostate was too much for Kuroo’s liking.

He was too absorbed in processing the foreign object against his hole he was surprised Y/N’s hand made its way into his neglected cock.

She gives it a few gentle strokes before she pulls away to trap her arms into Kuroo’s neck.

“Straighten up” she orders lowly “Look at yourself in the mirror”

And Kuroo was quick to obey as he takes his full form on the reflection in front of him.

He was on his knees on the bed while Y/N relentlessly pounds him from behind.

“That’s it baby look at how much of a slut you are” Y/N snarls as she tugs him upward again so he can get a full view of his lower abdominal muscles and his cock that is leaking out pre-cum

The pleasureable feeling of him getting fucked and the degrading words from Y/N was just enough to send him into the edge that he even almost pulled out an aheago face right then and there.

And of course Y/N’s quick eyes didn’t miss that;

“Look at the mirror when you cum” she tells him roughly “Let me see that face you make”

So he does, one quick glance into his messy reflection he’s already cumming hard. He takes and jerks his cock out of sudden reflex all in as he maintained eye contact with himself through the mirror.

And fuck does the sight before him will live rent free on his mind from now on. 😂😂

3rd and Final Level was Y/N’s style of Exhibitionism and Public Sex.

Now in their relationship its no secret that kink is somehow Kuroo’s teritory.

Once his horny in public, Him and Y/N are known to be possibly hooking up in a nearby stall or bathroom or even the storage room if they’re inside the gymnasium.

That’s what all the team knew, It was always Kuroo who initiates the first move, But what they didn’t knew is half of those sexual activity was Y/N s idea.

(At least Kuroo has the decency to at least let them do it in a secluded place where he knows is private but at the same time the possibility of anyone walking in on them excited them both so honestly that was the whole point of it so it was definitely a win win situation)

But what Kuroo doesn’t know is how his girlfriend managed to get turned on in broad daylight and in the middle of the library during a study session

(And one thing about Y/N ; if she’s the first one to get turned on; Don’t even try to think of domming, Kuroo learned that the hard way)

So here she was eyeing him up and down with lusty eyes as she drew little circles around Kuroo’s thigh

“Y/N stop it” Kuroo snaps as he gently slaps the hand away.

“Want you” Y/N breathes unto the shell of his earlobe “You’re so sexy today”

Kuroo sighs in annoyance, he then dips his head down so he could give her a small kiss on the forehead

“Hold on a little longer baby” he reasures “When we’re done with the homework we can have a little detour inside one of the classrooms”

Y/N pouts at the idea of having to wait a little longer “But I want you now”

Kuroo gives her another kiss “I know. But they’re like 50 other people here with us”

At his statement Y/N gives a sly smirk.

And Kuroo was quick enough to piece the puzzles together “Baby dont you dare-“

But it was too late, Y/N reacted quickly on knocking few of her books down to the floor catching the attention of few other students from across their table.

She mumbles a quick apology before she kneels down to retrive them.

And by retrieve it was her kneeling infront of Kuroo’s legs to palm his bulge against the fabric of his pants.

“What are you doing?” Kuroo growls “Get up”

But Y/N wasn’t taking any hints and continued to fundle with his balls “You’re already hard babe” she comments “I know you like this. You like me blowing you out inside the library while they are peolple around us”

At the suggestion of blowing him, Kuroo’s breath hitched; “Y/N Im serious” he says “Not here”

Y/N lets out a sarcastic scoff “It will be fine” she assures as she zips Kuroo’s fly down to free his aching cock “Just dont make a sound”

Without another word, she envelops Kuroo’s long shaft into the depths of her mouth.

Kuroo lets out a soft whine as he takes a quick look at the surrounding around him, luckily no one has took noticed of them yet and he thanked the Nekoma high school library for having closed tables that covered their lower halves.

He then turns his gaze back to Y/N who was busy bobbing her head up and down on his cock.

He groans again as he feels her tongue move up to the base then around to his frenulum.

“Fuxk” he curses under his breath as he feels the building organsm ripping away through his stomach down to his shaft.

“baby I’m gonna cum” he whispers as he wraps a hand on her hair to guide her head up and down.

With another quick swish of Y/N’s tongue, Kuroo lets a harsh yelp as he involunarily thrust his hips into her mouth to ride out his orgasm.

Y/N pulls away with a loud pop as she gracefully wiped away the cum stains around her lips

“See?” She mused “that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

He fixes her a stern glare “oh fuxk you” he says as he took in the mess they made.

If they keep doing random stuffs like this; Kuroo’s gonna need a change of pants and possibly change schools. (His reputation as a volleyball captain would clearly be damaged) but when he tooks in the sighs of his girlfriend’s smirk and lewd face in front of him, Kuroo wouldn’t trade it for the whole world.

#kuroo tetsuro x reader #fanfic #kuroo tetsuro fanfiction #x reader #haikyuu!!#kuroo smut #lemon fanfic

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hela-avenger · 4 years

Text

poison & wine- part 17

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1536

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: If you’ll like to be tagged please send me a message! Thanks for reading everyone!

poison & wine masterlist

The shirt was coming along nicely and you couldn’t help but feel proud that you hadn’t lost your touch. It had been a while since you had sown anything from scratch. You used to make most of your clothing, later on mending the things you owned, to a point where you stopped sewing altogether.

Nostalgia was hitting you quite hard but you refused to let your emotions show to the girls who were seated around you.

At hearing of your task, Datya and Lynn had excitedly brought the materials needed and wished to learn how to make a shirt themselves. Alongside making Loki’s shirt, you were teaching the girls how to cut the measured frames and how to stitch them together.

Iana, after having cleaned up the breakfast that the other girls had neglected to help her pick up, had joined you too. She seemed to need no help as she quietly started to make her own shirt.

As of now, you were making a white button-down for the prince while Iana made him a black one, and Lynn and Datya conjoined tried to make a green one.

“So why are you making the prince a shirt?” Lynn asks you. “He already has enough.”

“The Allfather has requested that I do,” you answer with a shrug. “It’s meant to be my gift to signal the start of our courtship.”

You look up at the girls who seemed to have grown silent.

“Is that wrong?”

“No, no, no... “ Datya quickly responds. “It’s just… that’s quite an antiquated notion.”

“It is?” you ask.

“What Datya meant to say it’s that recent courtships tend to skip such traditions in order to proceed to an engagement,” Iana steps in. “I assume the Allfather wants the prince to follow through the long process to assure him he’s ready to take you as his wife.”

You fight against the scowl that wants to make an appearance on your face and simply turn your focus back to sewing the sleeve. You really had to talk to Loki about this whole engagement issue people kept bringing up to you.

“Right, well, either way, it gives me something to do,” you tell them. “It’s been a while since I’ve made anything by hand.”

“I’m surprised that you even know how,” Lynn states. “We were told that Midgard had advanced to an industrial setting.”

“We have,” you stammer out quickly knowing they couldn’t catch on to your lie already. “But my mother was old-fashioned. She taught me everything I know.”

“Oh, well that’s very kind of her,” Lynn responds. “It’s quite a useful skill to have.”

“It is,” you whisper to yourself. You really didn’t have the mind to think of your mother at this moment. You had to remain focused on the matters in hand.

“So…” Datya pipes in excitedly. “Now that we’re all alone and no interruptions, why don’t we continue our conversation from yesterday?”

“And what conversation was that?” you ask.

“The one about you and Loki!”

“Oh, yes,” Lynn agrees. “You never gave us any details.”

“Girls,” Iana calls out to them in a warning.

“It’s fine, Iana,” you assure her though you were deeply panicking at the incoming interrogation. “They’re just curious.”

Gaining the green light, Datya is quick to ask you a question.

“How did you two meet?” she asks. “Was it love at first sight?”

You knew that Loki and you had failed to discuss a cover story but you knew that nothing worked better than telling the truth at the moment.

“Oh no,” you chuckle out. “Quite the opposite really.”

“Really?” Lynn asks eagerly.

It’s not that hard to recall your first introduction to the dark prince. You were catching up with Thor about your travels when Loki had decided to walk in.

“I met Loki through his brother. Thor introduced me to him and Loki simply nodded at my greeting and left the room without another word. He was very cold to me in the beginning. It took a long time for him to warm up to me and even then he tends to slip up every now and then.”

“How long have you been together?”

“I uh… It’s hard to measure,” you answer knowing a lie had to be entangled into your words. “I travel a lot in Midgard so my visits to the compound where Loki stays are hard to date exactly. Our… courtship just seems to have appeared out of nowhere one day. There was a shift. One that I didn’t even realize had occurred until I saw him again.”

“Because you missed him,” Lynn sighs out with an enamored tone.

“Yes, because I did,” you can’t help but agree.

“He probably missed you too.”

You hum in response as you cut the thread from the first sleeve done. A silence falls into the room as everyone focuses on sewing but it doesn’t last very long.

“Is he concerned about your mortality?” Datya asks you.

You hadn’t expected that question. You should have known it was coming but you were caught off guard nonetheless.

You heard about Loki’s opinions about Thor and Jane. You knew he didn’t agree with it. You could answer in his own words but you knew that wouldn’t help sell this fake courtship at all.

“We haven’t really discussed that,” you answer quietly.

“But you thought of it?”

You pause at the question directed solely on your opinion.

Have you thought about your own mortality?

Of course, you have.

You started to when your mother aged in front of your eyes while you remained the same. You thought about it every day since then. It was why you kept yourself moving. Not allowing time to keep you rooted in one spot to watch how things aged and died around you. You couldn’t allow yourself that grief again. You couldn’t carry that weight for the centuries you still had lying ahead.

And yet, you couldn’t bear being alone anymore.

That’s why you had to find your father. He was the only kinship left. The only one who could live long enough to spend the rest of your half-immortality with.

“Yes, I have,” you finally answer. “It’s why I live my life without fear, seek what brings me happiness, and follow it until I reach it.”

“That’s beautiful,” Iana comments.

She had set her sewing down and watched you with an unreadable expression. You felt uneasy under it. Her eyes somehow manage to read you perfectly. You felt as though you revealed too much especially as she cast her eyes away from you.

“Enough questions, girls,” Iana orders. “Allow Lady Y/N her much deserved privacy.”

Datya and Lynn know better than to argue and remain silent. Their attention turned to the cloth at hand. You let out a sigh of relief and finish up the second sleeve with no interruption. All that was left was placing the buttons and perhaps if time allowed it, some embroidered design on the cuffs or the collar.

You set your work in progress down in favor of completing a task you had set for yourself.

“If I wish to pay Heimdall a visit, how would I go around to do so?”

Loki walked down the halls of the palace trying to conjure some sort of plan to overcome the sudden obstacles that had arisen. He hoped you could shed some light on your parent’s history and perhaps from there he could see what resources available he could make use of.

It made him uneasy.

The whole concept of not knowing.

Loki didn’t understand how you’ve lived this long with this question lingering in your mind. He also didn’t understand how you traveled to Asgard with a last minute plan that currently involved him doing all of the hard work.

Loki craved for order. It’s what he desired the most at the moment. Something that you had denied him with this chaotic mess that is the search of your father.

He needed answers. He needed the truth. He needed you.

So the dark prince walked with a purpose in search of you making his way back to his bedroom only to find two of your handmaidens leaving from it.

“Ladies,” Loki greets, startling them instantly.

“Your majesty,” they bow.

They seemed nervous without bothering to attempt to hide it. Loki brushes past them and swings the door to his room open only to find it empty. He’s quick to turn back to your handmaidens who are looking up at him in alarm.

“Where is she?”

They both share a cautionary look before one of them is bold enough to finally look at Loki in the eye and answer.

“Iana took her to the stables,” she answers. “Lady Y/N wished to visit Heimdall so we told her she would need to ride there.”

“We advised her to wait for you, but she insisted on going alone.”

Loki tries to reel back the anger that rose within him. You had mentioned seeking the All-Seer’s help but he had made it clear that it would be pointless. He should have known you would ignore his warning and go ahead to seek the answer yourself.

With no plan once again.

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @sigyn-njorddottir @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie @jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @umlvk

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak

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