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#simply this idea that the people i love the ones closest to me the people i have always felt safest around are indeed looking out for me
aridadne · 1 year
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thinking about get better by frank turner because they DID throw me a whirlwind, but *I* spat back the sea, i did take a battering, but The Best People I Know *Are* Looking Out For Me
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asmosmainhoe · 4 months
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Hiii! I hope you're doing well 🫶💍
Can I please ask your headcannons about how would lucifer, mammon, satan, beel, diavolo and barbatos react if MC offers to put chapstick on their lips?
I know it's a strange ask, but imagine this scenario: It's gotten really cold suddenly (in? On? At?) the devildom and MC notices said character has chapped lips and seems very uncomfortable with it. She offers them her (can be gn!reader but I'm using she/her for better explaining) chapstick and they deny, but she insistist in putting on them, and they feel giddy because she's caring so softly for them 😭😭😭
I'm feeling the vibe of soft casual love today. It's okay if you don't answer, but I'd be really happy if you did! Lots of love, stay warm 🩷🩷🩷
MC offers their chapstick
Note: Huh my motivation is partly back
Gender: neutral
Warnings: none
Masterlist
Lucifer
He says that he doesn't need it of course even though he really does and you offering your chapstick makes him notice his dry lips even more
You already left him so he could continue to work in peace, but your words simply don't let him go
His tongue keeps darting out to lick over his lips which makes it only worse and the feeling bothers him more with every second
Only half an hour passes until he looks for you around the house to ask if the offer still stands
Mammon
WHAT?! YOUR CHAPSTICK?! BUT IT WAS ON YOUR LIPS FIRST! SO IT WOULD BE LIKE A KISS MQJSBAJAN
He immediately short circuits and isn't responding for a couple seconds
"If you're really insistin'."
Mammon snatches the chapstick away from you and puts on a thick layer
"I actually thought that I could put it on you, but that works too I guess."
He's devastated
You better be prepared to share it some more in the future, because he will ask for it on a regular basis and don't even think about buying him one. He wants yours
Satan
A light blush is forming on his cheeks and ears upon your offer, but he'd be a fool to decline it. It's the closest he can get to a kiss for now after all especially when you get so close to his face to put it on
He takes an extra moment to rub his lips properly together and is surprised by the pleasant taste. Would a kiss taste like this as well? The thought alone makes him become even more red
"Should I buy you one too?"
"No, but thank you. I don't need it that often."
Wrong! He just wants an excuse to use yours
Beelzebub
Of course he's not one to say no to that! It's so kind of your to offer it in the first place. Not many people are paying as much attention to him as you do
Much to your surprise though Beel leans forward with his eyes closed which makes you think for a second that he's actually about to kiss you
Beel shoots a small smile in your direction as he thanks you. Ugh, so handsome...
You make sure to offer him your chapstick more often in the future
Diavolo
"Oh, I didn't even notice that my lips are so dry!"
"So can I put it on then?"
"Absolutely!"
Much like Beel he has to bend over a little bit so you could reach him better
Being this close to him really makes you realize just how attractive he is. As if having the prince of hell only inches away from your face isn't intimidating enough
But he seems to genuinely enjoy it
Barbatos
No idea how this man manages to take such good care of his appearance while handling so many tasks
So it's kind of a big thing when you notice that his lips are super dry AND HE EVEN APOLOGIZES FOR "BEING SUCH A MESS" LIKE BABE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL
"Thank you so much for pointing it out. Could you maybe be so kind and put it on for me? I'm afraid my hands are full at the moment."
ANYTHING FOR YOU, LOVE
It's a short moment, but somehow incredibly intimate
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alleiwentcrazy · 1 year
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Eddie hates it when people don’t answer his calls. He hates it with passion.
It reminds him of too many things. It reminds him of manhunts and abandoned sheds, and no one on the other side of the line. It reminds him of cold, clammy hands, of hunger, of fear. Breaking bones and eldritch horrors he’d thought existed solely in cheap movies, not in real life, until he was brutally made aware of the fact that when people say everything’s possible, everything is possible.
Every time someone doesn’t answer the phone when he calls, panic starts to boil inside his veins and his brain immediately makes at least a dozen painful scenarios for him to dwell on. He knows that technically, they just don’t know that it’s him. But it doesn’t make him worry any less, so everyone’s learned to respect the rule. They just have to pick up. No matter what. Or he’ll freak out, drop everything he’s doing and come unexpectedly to check if everything’s alright.
There hasn’t been a single situation when things were actually bad—people go get groceries, take solid, deep naps, or they’re simply too lazy to pick up sometimes—but he always does that. Always.
Especially if it’s Steve who doesn’t answer. What if he fell? Or someone mugged him? Or he got into a fight? This brain can’t take any more damage. What if he’s in the hospital now, waiting to be anesthetized before surgery, and no one’s called Eddie yet, because to society they’re just some dudes living together?
There are too many options. Eddie doesn’t like taking chances anymore, so he slaps the “I’ll be back in a few” sign on the door, closes the shop and speeds through the town like he has nothing to lose. (And it’s quite stupid, because he has too many things to lose now—but he’s allowed to freak out once in a while.)
When he gets there and sees Steve pacing and gesturing animatedly in front of the window of their tiny but awfully cluttered kitchen, he finds out exactly what it means to have the whole world on your shoulders. Or, rather, to be finally freed from the pressure it creates.
It’s okay. It’s just a stupid phone call. It wasn’t even important, anyway.
Despite that, he takes his helmet off. Won’t hurt to remind Steve of the rule. And maybe kiss his pretty face a little while he’s here.
He doesn’t even have to enter their apartment to know that Steve’s not alone. First off – if Steve’s pacing and rambling, an anxious trait he’s picked up from Robin, wasn’t a hint enough – it’s loud. Their paper walls can barely hold back a normal conversation, let alone something resemblant of a heated discussion. Honestly, Eddie has no idea how their neighbors can stand them sometimes, with his metal, their late-night conversations and non-conversations alike, with the kids visiting so often. Although Steve is optimistic (they have some lovely neighbors, like sweet Gran Fran, but don’t ever let Eddie express his opinions about that old hag from across the hallway, Miss Hermans), he’s still waiting for that complaint to be filed.
Second, he smells coffee. Steve never makes coffee for just himself.
Eddie opens the door gingerly, remembering how easy it is to completely unhinge them by accident, and is about to scream something about getting home, when none other than Dustin Henderson cuts him off with a shriek.
“—because it’s actually pathetic, that’s why! Get a grip, man, just do it!”
“Oh, it’s so easy for you to say, because you’ve never actually tried—”
“And maybe I never will! If you won’t do it, how can I learn how to do it myself? You know that you guys are the closest thing to father figures!”
“Hey, don’t make it about yourself for once, maybe? Some humility?”
Dustin’s quiet for a second, but Eddie knows he’s not about to admit full defeat. “Yes, sorry,” he chokes out, finally. “But you’ve tried so many times, you should know that it doesn’t get any easier on another try. Just do it, it doesn’t matter how.”
“It does, though! To me, it—it does. It matters,” Steve mumbles back, and Eddie can picture his face in perfect detail. It’s Steve’s small voice, which means he’s worried about something, even though his worry doesn’t make any sense in everyone else’s eyes. He’s unsure: his brows are pinched, lips pursed, stare skittering around the room, never focusing on anything. Dustin knows this face too, because his tone gets softer.
“Okay, then walk me through it.”
“What?”
“Walk me through it. You’ll know what you want, how you want it, when and where, and it’ll be easier when you try it next time.”
“Dustin, I really don’t—I’m not sure it can get easier, ever.”
“Because you’re scared.”
Steve sighs deeply before he responds. “Yes. Because I’m scared.”
“It’s been eight years, Steve. What are you scared of?” Dustin’s voice is gentle, curious. He’s not judging, he genuinely wants to know the reasons, and so does Eddie. He leans against the wall, trying to sneak a peek of the kitchen unsuccessfully, and listens. A while passes before Steve speaks again.
“I think—There are so many things I’m afraid of. But the main one… It’s still rejection. Not being enough. Because it’s not like it’s anything formal, right? It’s only a promise, and if it ends up turned down…”
Chair legs scrape the floor and Eddie can hear two soft slaps – hands on shoulders, probably.
“Steve Harrington. Calm down. You know it’s not going to happen—no, don’t argue. I know it, and this alone should be enough. You are an amazing person. You’re great with people, you’re bright, you’re sweet, caring, you have so many talents. I love you, Steve,” the pause that follows is filled with something so heavy there’s a shift in the air. It has a different smell now. A little salty, a little warm. “And he loves you. More than you can imagine, probably. So just pop the question, Steve. And don’t back out with some stupid excuse like this morning.”
“Pop the question,” Steve says, his voice firm, only a little timid. “Yes, I think—I think I can do that.”
Eddie bounces off the wall and takes quiet, slow steps backwards. He can’t hear anything else, even though the conversation continues. He bites his tongue hard enough to make it bleed a little. A coppery taste floods his mouth as he closes the door.
Oh, it’s just so, so stupid. He would have said yes. Each and every time, he would have said yes.
*
Later that day, when they’re lying in bed together, with the sheets rumpled, their bodies warm and mushy from the nap, with Eddie’s lips on Steve’s and Steve’s hands in Eddie’s hair, Eddie remembers the overheard conversation.
Well, no. That’s a lie. Because he hasn’t stopped thinking about it ever since.
Every single second of what, at first, seemed to be yet another annoying Monday, has been filled with reverie and anticipation. Dustin’s right – Eddie loves Steve. He loves him enough to risk hell for him, enough to argue with anyone who’s in any way mean to him. Enough to take his hand and say “You don’t have to be afraid when I’m with you”, even though Eddie’s the biggest coward in the whole wide world.
Eddie loves him. Loves his goofy smiles and scrunched happy faces, loves his moles and the uneven mustache he grows out sometimes when he’s bored. Eddie loves how gentle Steve is, how thoughtful and kind-hearted he is. How he helps Gran Fran replant her flowers each month with more enthusiasm than Eddie’s ever shown to anyone. How he talks to children, how much respect he has for those undermined by everyone else.
Eddie loves how he’s learned to stand up for himself. He’s proud of Steve, of how much he’s grown, of how he knows how to express what he needs and what he wants now. Eddie’s loved him for ages, maybe even longer than he’s aware of, but every single significant and insignificant change in Steve’s behavior and point of view makes him fall a little bit harder, every time. In any shape, in any form, there’s one constant in Eddie’s life: his love for Steve.
He likes to think that they do that to each other, both of them. That they help each other through inevitable changes, painful regressions and euphoric victories alike. He likes to think that together, they make one, healthy, living being – and apart they’re good, because they’ve grown to be good people thanks to the connections they’ve made overall. He likes this idea of just being good, together and apart. And he loves Steve for giving him the opportunity to be just that.
Eddie wants it to last. Desperately, intensely, madly. He wants it to last and he needs it to keep happening – he knows that, and he knows he has the capacity to do that. To be there, to stay. His hands touch Steve’s thigh, not in the slightest covered by those silly Hawkins Tigers shorts he’s kept, then they touch Steve’s soft, scarred belly, then they touch his chest, where his heart is beating steadily and peacefully, and he keeps kissing him and Steve keeps clingling back to him, and Eddie’s so sure.
He wants this. He wants to experience growing old together, he wants them to get all wrinkly and bald together, he wants the fights over who gets the most comfortable chair in their grandkids’ living room. He wants them to experience the highs and the lows of the family that they already have, and the one they’re going to build someday.
Eddie wants this. He wants Steve. The whole deal; the promised forever. And he doesn’t want to wait another second.
“Steve,” Eddie says, cutting the kiss short so suddenly Steve actually pulls him closer, chasing after the warmth of his lips. “I’m saying yes.”
“Mm. Okay,” he mumbles back, too kiss- and sleep-hazy to catch Eddie’s intention right away. He tries to bump their noses together—which is adorable, really, but Eddie can’t let him hijack and self-sabotage this proposal too.
“No, Steve,” he squeezes Steve’s side until he looks at him properly. “I love you. I’m saying yes.”
In awe, Eddie watches as Steve’s face goes through confusion, true bewilderment, a bit of fear and fleeting exhilaration, to finally settle on disbelief.
“How did you—”
Eddie laughs a little at that. “I called and you didn’t pick up.” Steve makes a little oh sound, already looking like a kicked puppy. “But it’s okay, doesn’t matter, not the point,” Eddie jumps in, anticipating an unnecessary apology. “The point is, I love you, and I’m saying yes.”
Steve stares at him for a long second, his eyes wide and earnest. His fingers slide from Eddie’s hair to finally settle on both of his cheeks, cradling them lovingly. Eddie kinda wants to cry.
“You’ll marry me?” Steve asks, incredulous, his voice only a bit louder than a whisper. The way he accentuates the word “marry” gives yet another layer of meaning to such a simple question. You’ll love me? Forever?
“I’ll marry you,” he replies without hesitation. “You’ll marry me?” You’ll love me? With my flaws?
“I’ll marry you,” Steve says back. Then he grins with his eyes glistening in the bedside light, and squishes Eddie’s cheeks so hard it squeezes the unshed tear right from his eye. “We’ll get married!”
Steve giggles happily, and Eddie laughs with him. There’s so much joy inside him—them, the whole room seems to get bigger. “We will,” he adds through a smile, already peppering his fiancé’s face with kisses.
“Oh gosh, I have to call Robin,” Steve manages through his giggles and Eddie loves him so much. “And Dustin!”
So, so much.
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mrpenguinpants · 1 year
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Overdue Bills
— He knows your fake relationship with him was made purely for beneficial reasons. After everything was said and done, you both went your separate ways. So why does he keep coming back to you?
— Alhaitham, Ayato, and Kazuha
-> Part 1: Please go out with me for tax benefits! -> Not connected but can also be read: I refuse to fall in love out of spite [ TBA ] [Masterlist]
Does this feel rushed because it is. I assumed everyone wanted a continuation but I plan on writing another fic using the original prompt but for different characters. The titles have nothing to do with the fics but I really wanted to title this, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
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Alhaitham
There's only so much Kaveh can handle before he hits a breaking point and this might be it. A few months ago he overheard the librarian ask a stranger how their boyfriend Alhaitham was doing, to which he nearly broke his neck in how fast he turned. From the long pause and the plain answer of, "he's fine", which Alhaitham most definitely isn't given how much work the sages are dumping onto their scribe, Kaveh came to the conclusion that you're another creepy admirer or an attention-seeking leech. While Kaveh wouldn't call Alhaitham something as close as a friend, the man at least deserved to know there was another deranged person spreading lies. He assumed Alhaitham would confront you, knock some sense into you, and that would be the end of it. But because Alhaitham operates on a level that's incomprehensible to Kaveh, instead you've both entered into a fake dating relationship that he honestly believes is a horrible idea. But Alhaitham is his roommate, not his friend, and he doesn't have the time or care to facilitate a non-existent love life. But lo and behold the next time he sees you, there's a silver-haired man is hovering nearby looking at you with the closest thing to love his stoic face can make. Things are only weirder when Kaveh brings the sight up to you, saying that you're both taking this fake dating in stride and he's honestly impressed at how Alhaitham really put his all into this performance. Only for you to look at him as if he's grown two heads. You and Alhaitham stopped dating weeks ago.
Alhaitham isn't stupid. There's only so much rationalization he can turn to and so many excuses he can make but at the end of the day, he has to admit that he never works better than he does sitting beside you. At first, he reasoned that it was because people didn't bother him as much and you knew how to be quiet. Perhaps that's why you've skyrocketed in his requirements of friendship despite the fact that you both weren't really friends. But then he couldn't sit alone without getting restless. There’s an empty space beside him that constantly makes itself aware in his subconscious. One that screams at him that he wants you to be there, not just because you can scare people away.
It's a slow realization from there starting with him comparing you and Kaveh. For as much as he and his senior argue back and forth almost every time they meet, Alhaitham considers Kaveh an excellent mirror to him that can push his thoughts to go further. But you're different. That realization turns into contemplation when you actually listen and take his advice. Every scholar is egotistical to some degree, there's a lot of pride to take into your research, and having your weeks of hard work be written off by a blunt statement gets people angry. Alhaitham would be the first to know, he's been on the receiving end of that anger multiple times. Yet when he points out a section in your thesis to be incorrect, you simply tilt your head thinking before agreeing he was right. Crumbling your paper, ready to start all over again without any fuss. Still water versus the wave that Kaveh is. While some would call that boring, he finds it charming.
The nail in the coffin is when he catches himself labeling the chair next to him as yours. He can't justify that one and he's suddenly confronted that he severely underestimated how much he's grown to like you. He originally agreed to the idea to keep his comfortable routine without any interruptions and your introduction would fix his issue of suitors but you've played your part so perfectly that he fell for it. He was tempted to stop talking to you altogether, cutting the deal off entirely and never speaking to you again. But you're not a saint and just as he realized his feelings, your thesis was done and you left abruptly before he had any time to prepare. A glaring empty spot mocking him. Only to come back with your stacks of books and a nervous smile that Alhaitham refuses to acknowledge makes his heart beat just the slightest bit quicker.
He knows you can hear the whispers that you and Alhaitham have gotten back together. Yet you haven't said anything and he politely chooses to not say anything either. The rumors certainly haven't stopped you from acting differently and he doesn't know if that's a good thing. He knows your language is touch but now he wants to be the one near you this time. That way the first person you’ll speak to is him. By now he’s fully aware of his feelings and how far they’ve developed for him to actually start feeling possessive. So the next time you lean against him to show him a particular paragraph of a book, he wraps a hand around your waist, disguising it as him shifting you to the side so he can get a better angle to read. Under his hand, he can feel how tense you become at the casual touch, how your eyes jump from him to the floor, before relaxing and continuing on.
In hindsight, he knows by all rational reasoning he should just confess to you and get it over and done with. But there's something exciting in the way you look at him with calculating eyes that he stares back at unflinching. He thinks of it as payback for you strolling into his carefully planned life and making a mess. He’s simply allowing himself to indulge in it. Now every time you greet him with a wave, he offers a smile. When you want to drag him somewhere by the cape, he slips his hand into yours stating you'll stretch the fabric too much. And when you need to whisper something in his ear? He'll practically be in your lap with how close he leans in even if there's no one else in the room. He knows eventually you'll catch on to what he's trying to do, what he's trying to say. You've been practicing for months sitting beside him. It's finally when he invites you to the pavilion that he can see the realization on your face that Alhaitham clearly doesn't consider you just a friend. The look of bewilderment goes back and forth with suspicion before finally settling into an amused huff with the smallest of smiles.
It's late enough into the day that he knows the only people lingering in the Akademiya are either passed-out students or scholars too wrapped up in their work. All consideration he's taken to make sure you're both uninterrupted for this moment. And what a moment it is. The pavilion itself is beautiful with its blue and green stained glass windows that reflect the evening sun. The yellow flowers swaying gently in the breeze add just enough color to not be irritating. Kaveh might need to retract his statement that Alhaitham doesn't know a thing about romance because it's painfully obvious what's about to happen.
"Any more and people might get the wrong idea you know," you say as you lean against the white wall. The look of confusion is gone from your eyes, replaced with mirth. It does not make him shudder.
"About what? The library is cramped with people and the pavilion is quiet," he says like it's an off-handed comment before turning around, leaning his weight against his elbows on the railing as he turns to the side to look at the view this specific pavilion provides. "Although I can understand where you might have drawn that conclusion. I can assure you nothing like that will happen. You're not my type."
He can physically feel you bristle even though he isn't looking at you before your footsteps come closer and closer until your form is right in front of him. He still refuses to look at you but he can tell the moment you see his poorly hidden smile. He hears you let out an amused huff before you bring your hands up and settle them against the railing as well. Only you've decided to cage him in between your arms and it makes him turn to you, raising a brow. He's already lost the moment he turned but the cheeky grin you have is worth it. You look really cute when you're smug.
"If I had any interest, it would have died a long time ago. You're the worst fake boyfriend I've ever had so I can't imagine how insufferable you'll be as a real one," you shake your head exasperated but there's a small entertained look that tugs at his heart. That you know what he knows and he knows what you know. A similar feeling of understanding that he's gotten so used to. One that lets him act in such an irrational way.
"You've had others?" he asks as his arm comes off the railing to settle around your waist. You don't push him away, easily following along.
"For such a pretty face you have such an awful personality," you sigh disappointed yet the arms that cage him move to settle around his neck, twirling the silver hair at the base of his neck as you lean closer until there isn't space between the two of you.
"Oh? So you think I'm pretty?" He tilts his chin slightly down, his lips brushing against yours.
"You must have selective hearing." With your faces so close, he can see the excitement in your eyes. He's sure that he is the same. So he ignores the pleased look on your face and leans in.
Ayato
Ultimately, he's just a passerby. He decided on a whim to go along with some absurd act because he thought the sheer dread and embarrassment on your face was amusing and he wanted to see more. By all accounts, your temporary date wasn't too bad. It felt a bit refreshing being with someone that looked like they rather throw themselves in the nearby sea than stand next to the refined Yashiro Commissioner. But otherwise, that's the end of your relationship. With a few words here and there, he managed to spin the absurd story into his favor and reign in the disaster your little stunt might have caused. He's grateful that you so easily play along with him. Not a single complaint about how he lies through his teeth that someone was bothering you so he extended his help so this individual would leave you alone. It makes both of you, mostly him, look good. How people rush to make sure you're okay while your expression flickers between guilt and embarrassment is far more entertaining than anything he originally planned during this outing. But at the end of the day, you have nothing to do with each other and he owes you nothing. Your presence is ultimately inconsequential in the stream that is his life. That is until one day your relationship changes to stupidity and heartfelt sincerity.
It starts off as a joke. Ayato tends to latch onto small things that give him a momentary break from his busy and stressed lifestyle and duties. Plus there's something lighthearted about this situation that he doesn't want to let go of just yet. Unfortunately for you, Ayato's newfound joy is sneaking up on you and sending you into an early grave. The first time it was an accident, you just happened to be easily jumpy, but the second time though? The resounding screech of terror never fails to make a smile appear on his face and you're convinced that he's a sadist. He doesn't even have to try that hard, his steps are silent even against the crooked stone path that he can waltz up right behind you. But his absolute favourite part is bending down and whispering what exactly his fiancee is so interested in. It always leads to embarrassing talks of you politely asking him to not refer to you with that title anymore that he swiftly blocks by mentioning that, wasn't it you who called him your fiancee first? You should take responsibility.
He thinks your reactions are cute even if you're a bit vulgar in language, although to him that just adds to the warped sense of charm he finds in you. Thoma nearly chokes on his own spit when Ayato perks up at something behind him, suddenly dropping the calm facade of the Yashiro Commissioner and something more genuine before calling out to a "fiancee". Thoma whips around to see a stranger speaking with Yoimiya before their eyes lift and lock with Ayato's and their expression immediately sour. He doesn't think he's ever seen anyone show such a disgusted expression and he can't help but wonder what his lord has done this time. Before Thoma can say anything the stranger picks up a firework ball and hurls it at his Lord who easily sidesteps the attack, the resounding death threats only making the blue-haired man laugh.
It's fun. You're fun to be around. The entire situation is silly and ridiculous and it feels nice. Ayato had to grow up too fast, become an adult too fast, and shoulder the burden meant for later years. Something as small as a nickname, an inside joke, something he can bring up to spite someone just for the fun of it is nice. Perhaps that's why he refuses to let go and finds himself returning to you.
It's all a joke. There's no way Ayato can actually take your hand in marriage. Not with your differences in status. You think that's the only reason people entertain the idea, why he even entertains the idea. To get a reaction out of you that he can relentlessly tease and it's all so stupid. That is until he receives a different reaction that leaves him lost and confused.
You stumble upon him in the aftermath of another one of his assassination attempts. He was perfectly fine, not even a speck of dust on his white coat yet you were nearly in hysteria. Panicked hiccups as you sob uncontrollably into his chest, your tears doing far more damage to dirtying his clothes than an attempt on his life. He tries his best to console you but you can't seem to stop the tears and as much as he values staying dignified, he's almost at his limit. Hand already poised to yank you off until he falters in both mind and body when you suddenly turn your head up and he sees the expression that you hid away in the lapels of his coat. The feeling of the annoyance of having to wash his coat flew out of his mind at the sight of your teary eyes and downturned lips. A small, very small, part of his heart beats just a bit faster. An even smaller part that was buried under the title of Yashiro Commissioner perks its head over someone who was crying for him. Even though you've both talked multiple times, you and he aren't close enough to be considered friends, at least in his eyes. Yet you're currently looking at him as if you're the one that's been attacked because of the simple fact that he could have been hurt. It's...strange.
He doesn't say anything as you usher him into your home to fix up whatever injuries you happened to have conjured in your mind. He's never stepped foot into your residence and he's honestly glad he hasn't because your home is...disheartening, to say the least. He thinks the estate has more life than what was supposedly something you called home. It's not that your place is poor, you're not sleeping on a slab of rock, but it's empty. Like you don't have anything at all. The only thing you seem to carry is your small pile of books. Worn but well taken care of. So he doesn't say anything as you fuss over him, doesn't say anything about the horrendous first aid kit you bring, and bids you farewell at the door of your home. You smile at him widely and tell him to take care of himself. But when he turns to leave, he risks one last peek at you, just in time to see you close your door. You aren't smiling anymore. He stops walking.
It starts to escalate from there. The following months of sudden change are so abrupt that he has no choice but to follow along. He wants to see every expression you have. If that isn't enough, he'll find new ones for you to make.
Ayato's first impression of you is charming but in a pitiful sort of way. You have to be an airhead, you must be considering your shared first meeting. How you didn't realize your mistake and went along with everything is beyond Ayato. You and Itto are almost on the same level of denseness but while Itto does everything with blind confidence that the situation has changed because of him, you are the opposite. Wandering into your own mess as you ignore all the warning signs until it's too late. But you're also honest and upfront, two traits that Ayato has come to value immensely. He finds you endearing, so much that it's starting to overfill his teacup. So with a silent smile, he asks a question.
"Why don't you become my fiancee?"
The noodle slips between your chopsticks, a loud unflattering splat against the table echoing through the silence as you stare at him slack-jawed. He begins to worry that he's accidentally sent you into a stroke because one of your eyes starts twitching.
"Huh? Are you being for real?" you ask deadpanned. He can't help but chuckle under his fingers before resting his chin on the palm of his hand. It feels nice to be able to rest his elbows against the table without someone reprimanding him for his lack of manners. He finds your dry reaction far cuter than the blushes and swoons from the ladies that the elders forced him to take out.
"Be my fiancee." he pauses before continuing as an afterthought. "For real this time."
You pick up your fallen noodle, chew, swallow, and then point your chopsticks at him. Not convinced in the slightest. "Even if you haven't picked out a fiancee you shouldn't joke about that."
"Really?" he fakes surprise, "Then how come you're on a date with me right now?"
You choke. He pushes his teacup towards you, who takes it and gulps down half of its contents in one go. The glass clinks loudly on the table when you put it down yet it doesn't distract him from the sheer disbelief on your face as your ears grow red. He thinks out of all of the expressions you've given him, he likes this one the most.
"This isn't-It's not," you attempt to say, spluttering the entire time that remnants of the tea you just drank wet your lips.
"Yes, it is. Why? Is it bad? Do you know enjoy being taken out to dinner? I can easily arrange for something else instead," He reached over with a napkin to wipe your face. It only serves to make you more embarrassed that he's treating you like a child as you push his hand away lest you combust on the spot. There's no immediate answer. He can't tell whether you're actually considering his offer, or if you're refraining from throwing your chopsticks at him.
"No thanks. If I've learned anything it's that you'll only torment me until I die. I'm starting to think I like you even less," you grumble, shoving more noodles into your mouth.
Ayato is a strange man so he doesn't wait for the water to spill, just tips the cup over and starts again. This time he waits for you to swallow before saying anything, he doesn't want you to choke again.
"That's unfortunate. I adore you, you know."
Kazuha
While his feelings and words were true, he resigns himself to the fact that your relationship was a one-and-done situation. Impulsiveness isn't one of his qualities but as he reflects on his time with you, he gets a bit flustered at how hard he fell. He had just met you and yet within the span of a couple weeks, you managed to fill out the empty parts of his heart. He tries to rationalize that it was just the timing. He had been on the run for so long, his thoughts always chained around Inazuma, and upholding his promise to his friend. But then you happened to crash into his life, quite literally, and everything slowed to a stop at that moment. Originally it was just to protect you from a clingy admirer but then you started asking about him. What his hobbies were, what kind of dreams he had, and whether or not he would like to learn how to fly. Every day and night sitting beside you on the crow's nest, the gentle sway of the waters rocking the boat, and the backdrop of noise down on the deck was the most serene Kazuha has ever felt since he left Inazuma. But all things must come to an end eventually and even though Kazuha knows that this might be the end, you look so hopefully at him that he can't help but try to push the end to tomorrow. He just needs to garner the strength to move.
Beidou asks if he's sure about his decision to leave the Crux and wander on his own. It's not nice to make you wait even though she knows you and when you say you'll wait, you're going to damn wait no matter how long it takes. But he reassures her that he's still not ready. As much as he wants to run over the water back to Liyue, he doesn't want to bring along conflicted and aimless feelings. But he will hurry, he's been running for so long, he can run a little further for something and someone for himself. It's a bit selfish but Beidou gives him an exasperated soft smile that lets him know it's not a bad thing. Although with each passing day Beidou's ship ports, it gets harder and harder for her to break the news that Kazuha is still not back. Beidou does her best to reassure you that Kazuha isn't stringing you along, she would have drowned him in the ocean if he was that low of a guy, but she can tell that with each visit your expression grows more and more distant. Watching how you're the first one to rush down the wooden bridges with a hopeful expression that one-day Kazuha might be there only to leave with a sad smile. It makes her want to track her problem child down and bring him back to you. Not that she has any idea where he wandered too.
He ends up in the forests of Sumeru. His keen sense of smell aids him as he treks through the wilderness until he meets a strange forest watcher and a girl in green. Their a bit of an odd pair but so is Kazuha and they become fast friends. Apparently, his calm demeanor is a breath of fresh air and it's enough that they don't pry into his history. Although there are moments when he can feel their eyes on him. Perhaps living in the forest has led them both to be aware of subtle changes far better than Kazuha can smell. It starts when they trek towards the small lakes and waterbeds to gather niloptala lotus for Tighnari that he sees it. An anemone flower. Soft white petals with a dark blue center sway in the breeze as he stands watching it move. It's Collei who approaches him and explains white anemone flowers, also known as windflowers, symbolize sincerity due to their delicate appearance. According to mythology, the anemone flower was created when Aphrodite's mortal lover, Adonis, was killed and from the spot where her tears fell to the ground, an anemone emerged. She says that he might enjoy that last bit of information to use as inspiration for his many haiku poems because he's looking at the flower as if he's fallen in love. Although she warns him that when fresh, all parts are poisonous.
When Inazuma finally calmed down and Thoma informed him that he was no longer a wanted man, it was the second time Kazuha could take a deep breath and relax. He was free from running and could focus on the future. He won't lie and say that his thoughts didn't stray back to you every night. He's been gone for months and he wonders if you still remember what he looks like. But now he has to ask himself the hard question if he's ready to see you. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to make that choice.
He sees you at Port Ormos by chance, speaking to a silver-haired man before you cut yourself off mid-sentence as your eyes lock onto his. Even with everything Kazuha has been through, he feels scared. He knew he would eventually return to you but now that you're here, is he not ready? Or is he scared? He knew that asking for you to wait was selfish, that one day he may return with your hand in someone else's. Maybe that's why you're all the way in Sumeru rather than the high mountains of Liyue. All these emotions reflect back to you and he can see it, your fists are trembling even as you gaze back at him with conviction and determination. The sun shines right behind you, creating a gold halo over your tousled hair. But it makes the shadows of your strained expression darker, your eyes gloss over your jaw tense, and everything about your posture screams please don't disappoint me Kazuha. Then it's gone. Your attention back to the silver hair man, pretending as if nothing happened. You'll wait until he's ready but you won't acknowledge him when he's not. And Kazuha. Kazuha runs away.
"There you are."
Kazuha looks up to see Tighnari sitting at the table facing the entrance that Kazuha has stumbled through. It's late into the night and because his heart has more room to bear, he feels guilty that Tighnari stayed up to make sure he returned. Before he can apologize Tighnari raises a hand to stop him, sighing before he gestures Kazuha to sit down. Fiddling with his pouch he takes something and slides it across to Kazuha. An Inazuma charm. The same one you gave him when he left.
"You dropped it when you were running through Port Ormos like you had stolen something. I had to convince Cyno that you weren't a thief but you're going to have to apologize to Collei for scaring her like that," he huffs as he settles back into his seat, watching at how Kazuha raises a wary hand to pick up the charm like it'll break under the slightest pressure. It makes Tighnari soften around the edges, the worried lines of his face smoothing out as he rests a hand on the samurai's shoulder. "Are you okay Kazuha?"
It only serves to bring a pained smile to the man's face, shaking his head. No. No, he's not alright. He hasn't felt "alright" in months. He's lived his life thinking that as long as his blade was by his side, he could continue moving. But now it feels like he's slowly dying. Poisoned from the core. He thought he would be able to approach this like he had always been. That he thought he understood what he was doing and trusted the wind to guide him. But now he's confronted with his accountability and he doesn't know what to do but run. Back into the silence of the forest until he can't run any further. Collapsing onto the cold ground as he heaves for another breath. Every moment up until now replays in his head, becoming more vivid no matter how long it's been until he can smell your fragrance. It was a similar feeling to when he lost his friend, this lingering pain. It's why he decided he needed to leave first. He always assumed he remembered because of guilt. Guilt that he asked you to wait, guilt that he wasn't the one that was ready, and guilt that even after all this time he hasn't entered the border of Liyue. Yet no matter how long he goes, this feeling of guilt only remains for you until he doesn't know if that's the correct emotion. If what remains in his heart truly isn't guilt, what is this emotion that keeps him looking back at his memories of you? He doesn't know. It's his first time feeling this way.
"You're in love Kazuha. That's it."
---
There's a sudden ruckus on the ship deck that has Beidou draw her head up, her letter to Ningguang momentarily paused as she listens carefully to what her crew is so noisy about. Their voices are muffled through the thick wooden walls of her office but it doesn't sound like they're in any danger. Either way as the Captain she should check out what everyone is so excited about. She shoulders her fur-lined shawl back on and slams the doors open.
"What's got you all so- Kazuha?!" Beidou nearly chokes midsentence to see her sentence when he spots that familiar white and red hair. Even though it's only been a few months, he looks so much older than she remembers. When he said he wanted to do some soul searching, she didn't think it would make him look so...mature. It's not that his outward appearance is any different, he's still got that adorable baby face, but the air around him is tranquil rather than still.
"Captain, it's good to see you again," Kazuha smiles and gives a small wave. His hand is free of bandages letting her see the electro burns that scar his skin. She politely doesn't let her eyes linger on them for long, that's all in the past anyways. So she grins ear to ear and yanks the poor man into a headlock and a giant slap on the back. Her official way her welcome a trusty companion back.
"About time lover boy, let's get you home."
---
Not me throwing canon personalities and good characterization out the window to push my smitten agenda.
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3K notes · View notes
ambrosiagoldfish · 3 months
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HI! Can I request Vox, husk or anyone else with a s/o who has an addiction problem?
Yes I know my Grammar and punctuation is out of line 🙏🏽
Hazbin Hotel x Addict!Reader
(Vox, Husk, and Angel Dust)
Viewer Discretion is Advised!
Warning: Drug/Alcohol Abuse, Gn!Reader, Reader being defensive, happy-ish endings.
Request Box: Open
Word count: 1170
A/n: Hi! Thank you for the request! This is my first time writing both Vox and Husk so I had to do some research (and by research, I mean reading 2+ hours of how other write them) to get an idea of their main characterization.
I really enjoyed writing this as I personally have my own experiences with addicts and how it’s affected me as a person. So this was also a little bit of a vent post if anything. I also added Angel cause I think it fits the theme but also he’s one of my comfort characters and writing for him made me happy.
Hope you enjoy <3
Proofread like once so sorry for any mistakes!
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Vox
He’s used to being friends/knowing addicts. I mean one of his closest allies (And TOTES not previous hook-up buddy) Valentino, is also an addict who also employs many as well. So he’s not a stranger to it.
So mostly he’s indifferent to it, almsot desensitized to it. He doesn’t really see a danger to it, I mean we’re in hell and you can’t exactly OD and die
But of course, death isn’t the only thing that can happen when you're an addict. The breakdown of you as a person often happens, as well as you being reckless with money. And this is where Vox starts to have a problem.
If you’re in a relationship with Vox, then clearly you mean a lot to him, he may not be the most expressive about it but he does. So to see the partner that he has opened up to and grown attached to deteriorate slowly in front of him is something he refuses to accept.
So one day he cancels a meeting with his staff and calls you to his office so you two will be alone. When you get there he gives you a cup of coffee and you catch up a bit. How was your day? Have you ate yet? Those kinds of things.
Until finally he decides to just break open the floodgates with one simple statement.
“Darling… I think you should get clean”
You were caught off guard at first
“It’s fine, What’s the problem? we’re in hell”
He then comes out with his honest opinion
“*Sigh* I know it’s hell and you can’t die… but surely you can see how it would make me a bit… worried for you.”
He paused
“I mean even last week you spent all the allowance I gave you on it and you would have starved if I didn’t buy you food, surely you can see why it’s a fucking problem!”
Eventually after talking and depending on how it goes you either agree to go clean or it ends with an argument and he’ll just try again later.
If you agree, he’ll make sure he’s with you ever step of your sobriety. Considering he’s one of the top rising Overlords and owns VoxTech he’s got money so He’ll higher the best people to help you go clean(Do therapist exist in hell?)
“Thank you dear, you have no idea how much this means to me”
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Husk
Similar to Vox in a lot of ways but also really different. He himself is an addict with alcohol so he clearly understands the struggles of it.
He has lots of walls up but for someone who “lost the ability to love” he sure does care a lot for you. I don’t think he would try a get you to go clean, at least not right away (or even at the beginning of the relationship) simply cause he thinks he doesn’t have a right to judge. So in all honesty he might just let you be.
That is until he realizes that you do it to forget things and ignore your problems/past. He knew first hand that drowning your sorrows away with your choice of addictive vice did nothing but harm you.
Then when you two are alone at his bar he’ll talk to you about it in a similar way he did with Angel. Perhaps a bit more softer than he did with Angel but even then “softer” is a bit of an overstatement.
“Look, I know you got a lot of shit that you don’t want to think about… but doing this *sigh* it’s not going to work, at least not in the long term.”
“That’s rich coming from you.”
He laughs. I mean, you were right. He was single handedly the worst person to be judging you. But surely you can understand his point of view, right?
Either way though, he leaves it alone again. Occasionally bringing it up when you’re both alone. He expresses the same sentiment about it each time hoping that eventually, hopefully…you’ll come to see from his perspective.
When you do finally see that he’s worried for you and understand why, you agree to go clean. Which, for once in a long while, made his supposedly cold dead heart melt.
“Glad you finally came to your senses… Seriously, I’m glad…”
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Angel
He is THE addict of the show, so obviously he knows what you are going through and THEN some. Now,. Here’s the thing, how he handles it depends HEAVILY on when exactly you got with him/when you started having you addiction problem.
If you started dating him when you already were an addict he most definitely wouldn’t question anything about it. Hell, chances are you both might have taken part in it together. And it’s only when he starts making progress in the hotel (post EP4) is when he starts realizing how bad of an influence you both were on each other.
If you started sometime AFTER you both started dating then this boy would honestly feel terrible about it, ESPECIALLY after EP4 when he actually started being sober more often. He’d feel like he was a bad influence on you and that it was his fault you turned to your addiction.
Either way though, he will eventually realize that he doesn’t want you to be/continue to be on the same path he was. He’d talk to Charlie about arranging you to stay in the hotel, either in your own room or you guys could share one (he would honestly prefer the latter) and then after the preparations are made he would finally ask you too
Angel wasn’t expecting it to be easy, he gets what it’s like to suddenly be asked to go clean. And he knows how addicts act when they don’t get there vices, how he acts. So he mentally prepared himself for the worst first before asking you to come over and talk.
“Uh… Y/n can I talk to you about somethin’?”
You nod your head
“I’ve been thinking and… I think you should crash here at the hotel with me… and’ go clean.”
You only laugh “Angie I’m glad this hotel thing is workin’ for ya but that’s not really my style. No- I mean, I’m fine!”
Angel knows he put you on the spot, so he lightens off a bit but continues pressing on. He explains how he feels and how he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you, to end up where he is. The poor boy starts crying honestly with how much he’s worried. He rarely opens up to people so this was a big step for him.
Seeing how much he cared and worried about you really put into perspective how important this was to him. So you agreed after some thinking.
“*sniff* thank you Baby, I’ll be there with you every step of the way… I love ya’ you know.”
417 notes · View notes
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Hi! I don't know if you already have an idea for the birthday post, if you do feel free to ignore this...my favourite trope is dad!harry too...what if H has to go for an emergency meeting somewhere else out the country even before his birthday and he has to spend his birthday there too and he is bummed about it...the fmc can fly out with their daughter/son and when he is back from his meeting his room is all decorated and stuff and she tells him she asked jeff to cancel everything...and they do a bunch of fun stuff but at night, after dinner she and the baby surprise him with another baby or something and he is like best birthday ever, 30 is already amazing
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Happy 30th Birthday, Baby.
masterlist || ask me anything <3
authors note - thank you so much to @missbearforfun for sending in this request, ive had had a fun time writing this, ive changed a few things up, so i hope that ive done it justice.
i can’t believe that my boy is 30….like i swear he was just auditioning for the x-factor yesterday. 🥹
word count - 4.4k
in which, harry gets called to do a meeting in italy, two days before his birthday, which means that he’ll be spending his 30th out there with just his manager jeff, what he doesn’t realise is that you, his darling wife, fly out to surprise him and hopefully give him the best birthday he’s ever had.
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You’ve been in Harry’s life for just over ten years.
You’ve spent five of those years as boyfriend and girlfriend, two of those years as his fiancé, and now, this year will be leading up to the third year being each other's husband and wife.
The first birthday of his that you spent with him, was his 20th all the way back in 2014. He had organised an intimate get together at a restaurant full of all of his closest family and friends, and it was the first time that you would be turning up together, as an official couple seeing as the only people who knew about the two of you were his band mates and his mother,sister, father and step father.
It was also the night that he confessed to you that he loved you, and that you were the one person that he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with.
From that moment on, every birthday became a cherished chapter in your shared history.
Waking up in each other's arms has become a comforting tradition, marking the beginning of a day dedicated solely to celebrating Harry's existence. The warmth of those morning embraces symbolises the depth of your connection, a connection that has withstood the tests of time.
As the years unfolded, you've witnessed the evolution of Harry, both in age and character, yet the love between you two has remained unwavering.
From his 21st to his 30th birthday, you've made it a point to spend the day in a way that brings him joy. Whether it's exploring new places, indulging in his favourite activities, or simply relaxing together, the focus has always been on creating memories that reflect the essence of Harry.
Each birthday has become a canvas on which you paint moments of happiness and shared experiences.
You had spent every birthday with him, but for this one, it appeared to already be turning out in a way neither of you had expected.
A mere few days before Harry's anticipated birthday, an unexpected call from his manager, Jeff, sent ripples of disappointment through his plans. The urgency of an issue related to his beauty brand, Pleasing, required Harry's immediate attention in the Italy.
The brand we’re thinking of opening a pop-up shop over there, seeing as the country held so much adoration in both of your hearts, it was the place where you got married, the place where he proposed and where he now wanted his fans over there to have access to him and what he had to offer.
With flights already booked, he faced the heart-wrenching reality of having to leave just over two days before his special day. Devastation etched across his face as he contemplated the unforeseen disruption to the birthday celebration he had eagerly anticipated.
In a desperate attempt to reason with Jeff, Harry explained his deep desire to spend his birthday with you, sharing the disappointment that overshadowed the joy of the impending celebration.
However, the urgency of the matter prevailed, leaving Harry torn between personal desires and professional obligations. As his best mate and manager, Jeff empathised with Harry but emphasised the gravity of the situation, reinforcing the necessity of this unexpected journey.
Amidst the disappointment, you stepped in to comfort Harry, assuring him that celebrations could be postponed but his presence and well-being mattered most. You offered solace, reminding him that distance could not diminish the love and connection you shared.
The promise of a belated but equally meaningful celebration upon his return brought a glimmer of hope to the gloom that hung over his imminent departure.
You had promised him, that you would FaceTime him on his actual birthday and that you would both order the same takeaway that night and have a little over the phone date, just to celebrate this big milestone.
On the morning Harry was set to depart for Italy, the anticipation of his journey hung in the air. Dressed for travel, he stood before you with a small suitcase by the door.
Shoes on, cap snug, and sunglasses concealing his eyes, he exuded a mix of excitement and reluctance. Despite the January chill in London, the promise of Italy's warmth upon landing prompted him to prepare for a contrasting climate.
Your eyes held a silent plea as you stood before him, sorrow evident in your gaze.
"I wish I didn't have t’go," Harry admitted, his voice tinged with regret.
You nodded, understanding the weight of the situation, your silence echoing the unspoken emotions in the room.
Milo, your ten-month-old Rottweiler puppy, sensed the sombre atmosphere, wagging his tail as if trying to infuse joy into the moment.
Unable to contain your emotions, you wrapped your arms around Harry in a tight hug.
"I'll miss you so much," you whispered, your voice betraying the ache within. Harry's embrace tightened, and he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"I'll miss y’more, m’love," he murmured, the sincerity in his words resonating with the depth of his emotions.
Crouching down to pet Milo, Harry spoke to the pup with a soft smile, "Take care of mummy for me, little buddy."
Milo responded with excited barks, seemingly understanding the impending absence.
Standing up, Harry looked into your eyes, his own reflecting a mixture of love and longing.
Your gaze locked with his, finding solace in the promise of a future reunion.
"We'll have the most amazing belated birthday celebration," you said, trying to inject positivity into the moment.
Harry smiled, his eyes reflecting gratitude.
"I can't wait f’that. Until then, stay strong f’me," he said, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips.
As the door closed behind him, the echo of his departure resonated through the silent space. Left with the imprint of his touch, the memory of his presence, and the anticipation of his return, you and Milo faced a home that suddenly felt emptier without him.
"I'll make sure t’send y’pictures from Italy," Harry called out from the hallway.
"And don't forget to spoil Milo a bit extra for me!" he added with a playful grin, the reassurance in his voice providing a small comfort amid the impending distance.
The day of his actual birthday, you woke up at seven am, which meant it was eight am for Harry.
It was a nice early face time call, in which you had called someone from the town near your shared beach house and got them to deliver flowers so they we’re scheduled to arrive whilst the two of you were calling, so you could see his face when he received them.
Little did he know, as the virtual celebration concluded, that you were already en route to Italy to surprise the love of your life.
His manager, Jeff, had orchestrated the clandestine journey, booking a flight that not only allowed your presence but accommodated Milo, your loyal puppy companion.
On the fairly empty flight, with just a few scattered passengers, you found solace in the quiet journey across the skies. Milo, nestled on the seat next to you, peacefully dozed off, completely unaware of the grand surprise awaiting his owner.
The hum of the plane engines provided a soothing backdrop as you envisioned the joy that would light up Harry's face when you appeared unexpectedly in celebration of his special day.
Upon landing in Italy, you and Milo were swiftly escorted off the plane by a discreet security team. The importance of maintaining the surprise for Harry became evident as the team efficiently navigated through the airport. The mission was clear: to whisk you away from the public eye, avoiding any chance of word spreading that Harry's wife had arrived.
Passing through passport control with just a carry-on bag in tow, the security team ensured a seamless transition. The anticipation heightened as you and Milo moved through the airport, surrounded by the subtle hum of secrecy. Every step taken was a careful manoeuvre to preserve the surprise and shield the unfolding celebration from prying eyes.
Exiting the airport, you were guided to a waiting jeep. The security team orchestrated a smooth transition, knowing that time was of the essence.
Jeff:
H just left for a meeting, so you’ve got at least an hour to get everything ready !!
As the jeep sped toward the villa, Jeff's text notification illuminated your phone screen. His message revealed that Harry was currently engrossed in a meeting, providing a valuable window of time to set up a birthday surprise.
The prospect of transforming the house into a beautiful haven of celebration filled you with excitement. Knowing you had at least an hour before Harry's return heightened the anticipation, and thoughts of his surprised expression fueled your determination.
The journey continued through the picturesque landscapes of Italy, the half-hour drive feeling like both an eternity and a heartbeat away from reuniting with Harry. Milo, sensing the energy, shifted restlessly in anticipation, adding an extra layer of warmth to the already charged atmosphere within the jeep.
The realization that the culmination of meticulous planning was drawing near only fueled your eagerness.
The mere thought of seeing Harry after two days of separation fueled your determination to make this surprise an unforgettable celebration of love and connection. The countdown to the reunion had begun.
"Here we are," the driver announced as the jeep came to a stop in front of the villa. You thanked him and handed over a ten-euro tip, expressing gratitude for the swift and discreet journey.
Grabbing Milo's leash and your bag, you stepped out into the Italian air, the scent of anticipation mingling with the promise of celebration.
As you approached the door, the distinct aroma of Harry's aftershave enveloped you, confirming his recent presence. A pair of his white vans neatly placed by the entrance hinted at the intimate details of his daily routine.
With a smile, you inserted the key into the lock, unlocking the door to a space filled with the essence of the man you dearly missed.
"Milo, we're home," you murmured to your furry companion, who eagerly bounded into the living room.
The atmosphere inside resonated with familiarity, and Milo, seemingly aware of the joyous occasion, leaped onto the sofa, his tail wagging in sync with the pulsating excitement in the air.
Upon stepping into the villa, you wasted no time. The suitcase that accompanied you served as a treasure trove of celebratory delights. With swift precision, you unzipped it, revealing an inflatable 3 and 0, along with vibrant banners that spelled out "Happy Birthday."
The living room became a canvas for your creativity, and the decorations unfolded in a dance of colors and joy.
Inflating the giant numbers, you strategically placed them to catch Harry's eye the moment he entered. The banners crisscrossed the room, creating a vibrant tapestry of celebration. The atmosphere transformed with each decoration, turning the space into a haven of love and festivity.
The decorating didn’t take long, maybe around half an hour, so that left you waiting, and each minute felt like hell.
You so badly just wanted him in your arms.
Seated in the midst of the festive setup, you pulled out your phone, eager to share the news of your safe arrival with your family. Fingers danced across the screen as you texted messages of reassurance and excitement, capturing the essence of this special moment.
The living room, now a symphony of color and joy, served as the backdrop to your messages, each tap echoing the anticipation of the grand birthday surprise awaiting Harry.
As you sat in the living room, engrossed in your phone, the jingling of keys outside signaled Harry's arrival. Swiftly, you rose from your seat, Milo by your side, his tail wagging in silent excitement.
Attempting to be as quiet as possible, you made your way to the entry hall, your heart pounding with anticipation. The festive atmosphere of the decorated living room served as a backdrop to the impending surprise.
Harry entered, shutting the door behind him with a sense of routine. His tote bag dropped to the floor, and in his initial distraction, he failed to notice the pair of women's shoes by the entrance.
His gaze scanned the surroundings briefly before turning away, only to snap back with wide eyes when he caught sight of you standing there.
His mouth parted in shock, a mixture of disbelief and joy washing over his face.
Time seemed to stand still for a moment as Harry processed the unexpected presence before him. The shock gave way to a radiant smile, his eyes lighting up with genuine happiness. Milo's tail wagged furiously, mirroring the palpable joy in the room.
Harry's initial shock dissolved into pure joy as he stared at you standing in the entry hall. Without a moment's hesitation, he rushed over, gathering you into a tight embrace. The warmth of his arms enveloped you, an unspoken reassurance of the love that bridged the distance between you two. Your eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the emotion evident in his gaze.
"Happy birthday," you whispered, the words carrying the weight of your love and the joy of this surprise.
As Harry lifted his head, his lips sought yours in a cascade of affectionate kisses. Each press was a testament to the depth of the connection shared, a celebration of love that transcended the days of separation.
The room, filled with decorations and the silent witness of Milo, became a sanctuary for this spontaneous reunion.
In the midst of the kisses, Harry's laughter bubbled up, the sheer delight of the unexpected surprise washing over him.
"M’can't believe you're here," he admitted, his eyes sparkling with gratitude. Milo, sensing the joy, wagged his tail energetically, completing the tableau of love and celebration.
“I couldn't not see you on your birthday," you admitted with a warm smile, still wrapped in Harry's embrace.
"Milo missed his daddy so much that we had to come and surprise you." You winked playfully, a cheeky smile tugging at your lips. "And, well, maybe I missed you a bit too."
Harry's eyes lit up with a mixture of surprise and delight.
"Y’really came all the way here just for me?" he asked, his voice filled with gratitude. Milo, sensing the joy in the room, barked in agreement, tail wagging enthusiastically.
Cupping his face in your hands, you responded, "Absolutely. Birthdays are meant to be celebrated with the ones you love, and we couldn't let a few miles keep us apart, now could we?"
“But I’ve got meetings the entire day,”he pouted, head getting thrown back slightly. “But I wanna spend the entire day with you.”
You played with the peach fuzz at the back of his neck. “Well it’s a good job I’ve cleared your schedule then, huh?”
“Wait,”he snapped his head over to yours from where he was staring lovingly at Milo. “So I’ve got the whole day with you?”
“We’ve got the whole day together, baby.” You confirmed, watching as his dimples appeared on his face.
In need of a refreshment, you and Harry migrated to the kitchen. As he poured himself an ice-cold glass of water, you settled at the kitchen island, nibbling on a cracker slathered with butter.
Looking at Harry, you asked, "Any cravings for today?"
He grinned and replied, "Actually, I've been craving a nice stroll around the town with Milo. Maybe we can stop for some ice cream and, perhaps, a cheeky bottle of rouge."
Harry's eyes sparkled with the prospect of a leisurely day. He reached for your hand, fingers intertwining, and continued, "What do you think, love?"
You offered a small smile, well aware that your current circumstances limited certain indulgences. "Sounds lovely," you responded, playing with the cross necklace around his neck. "I'm up for a walk and some ice cream.”
The wine….not so much.
/ /
As the day wore on, bathed in the warm glow of the Italian sun, you changed into a pair of comfortable denim shorts and one of Harry's shirts, embracing the casual charm of the town. The borrowed shirt hung loosely on your frame, carrying the familiar scent that provided a comforting connection to Harry.
Together, hand in hand, you and Harry strolled along the old streets, a timeless backdrop for the unfolding birthday celebration.
Milo, ever the enthusiastic companion, trotted alongside, his leash held firmly in Harry's hand. The cobbled streets echoed with the gentle sounds of your footsteps, creating a serene melody as you explored the charming corners of the town.
The quaint architecture and rustic charm of the surroundings added a picturesque touch to the shared moments of the day.
The narrow alleyways led you to hidden gems and inviting cafés, where the scent of freshly brewed coffee and sweet treats filled the air.
Each step carried with it the promise of discovery and the joy of simply being together. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm hue over the town, and the leisurely pace of the day allowed you to savor the simple pleasures of the moment.
As you continued your leisurely walk through the charming streets of Italy, Milo suddenly stopped in his tracks, his nose diligently sniffing around the ground. With an amused grin, you watched as he searched for just the right spot to do his business.
After a moment of consideration, Milo found the perfect place, and you turned to Harry with a playful expression.
"Happy birthday to you," you teased, handing Harry the poo bag with a grin. He laughed and fake gagged, taking the bag with a theatrical expression of horror.
Milo, seemingly oblivious to the lighthearted banter, continued with his canine duties, contributing his unique birthday gift to the day's events.
Continuing your walk through the enchanting town, you and Harry engaged in easy conversation, the cadence of laughter punctuating the air. The narrow streets echoed with the shared joy of the day, every step deepening the connection between you two. Silly anecdotes and playful banter flowed freely, turning the casual stroll into a delightful journey of shared moments.
As you meandered through the old streets, each corner unveiled new surprises, and every twist and turn became an opportunity for discovery. The simple act of being together, immersed in the charm of the surroundings, fueled the laughter and strengthened the bond between you and Harry.
As you continued your stroll through the charming town, the sight of a small bistro with a quaint outdoor seating area caught Harry's eye.
"How about we grab a bite there? it looks like a nice spot," he suggested, nodding toward the bistro. You agreed with a smile, appreciating the thought of a cozy meal in such a picturesque setting.
Heading towards the entrance, you were met by a friendly waiter.
"How can I help you?" he inquired. Harry responded,
"Just a table outside, please." The waiter, with a welcoming smile, gestured for you to follow, leading you to a charming table nestled in the outdoor seating area. The sun cast a warm glow, creating an inviting ambiance for a leisurely meal.
Seated at the quaint table, Milo by your side, the waiter handed you the menus. "Browse through these, a waiter will be over shortly, and let me know if there's anything else you need," he offered before leaving you to peruse the options. The aroma of delectable dishes wafted through the air, enhancing the anticipation of a delightful meal in the heart of the town.
Harry, glancing at the menu, looked up at you with a playful grin.
"What are you in the mood for, m’love?" he asked.
You.
Wait what?
As you and Harry enjoyed the cozy atmosphere of the bistro, another waiter, a friendly woman with a welcoming smile, approached your table.
"Good evening! Do you know what you'd like to order?" she inquired, pen poised above her notepad.
Harry, ever decisive, was the first to respond.
"I'll have a glass of y’house red wine, please," he said, glancing at the wine list.
Turning to you, the waiter asked, "And for you, ma'am?"
You flashed a smile and softly shook your head.
"I'll just go for a fresh lemonade, please." Attempting to steer away any suspicion, you added, "Feeling like something light today."
Harry, catching the cue, chimed in, "Just a light and easygoing evening, you know?"
He winked at you, his eyes filled with playful complicity.
The waiter jotted down your drink orders and nodded. "Certainly, a glass of red wine and a fresh lemonade. Now, what can I get for your main courses?"
You perused the menu, deciding on a chicken salad, and Harry opted for the salmon antipasto. You exchanged glances, sharing a silent agreement on the choices. As the waiter collected your menu choices, she remarked,
"Excellent choices! Your orders will be out shortly. Enjoy your evening!"
With the waiter's departure, Harry leaned in with a teasing grin.
"A fresh lemonade, m’love? Feeling like a saint today, are we?" he quipped, his playful banter laced with affection.
You chuckled, playing along. "Well, saints need a refreshing drink too, don't they? Besides, I'm saving room for that delicious chicken salad."
Harry laughed, raising an eyebrow in mock suspicion. "Alright, alright, I won't question y’saintly decisions. S’just enjoy this lovely evening and the meal to come."
The waiter returned with your drinks about five minutes later, placing a glass of red wine in front of Harry and a refreshing lemonade for you. As she walked away, leaving you two to enjoy your beverages, you lifted your glass and initiated a spontaneous toast.
"Cheers to your birthday, my love," you exclaimed, your eyes sparkling with affection. "I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I love you. I can't wait to spend eternity together, celebrating moments like these."
Harry's gaze softened, and he blinked his glass against yours.
"To eternity and beyond," he replied, his voice filled with warmth. "M’the luckiest person to have you by m’side. Here's to many more birthdays and unforgettable moments together."
The bistro's ambiance embraced the intimate exchange, and you continued to express your love and appreciation for Harry.
"You make every day special, but today, on your birthday, I want it to be extra magical for you," you confessed, your sincerity echoing in the quiet moments between sips of the refreshing lemonade.
Harry's smile widened, and he reached across the table to gently squeeze your hand. "Having y’here is the best gift I could ever ask for. Every moment with you is magical, and m’grateful for it all."
/ /
As the early evening settled around the villa, you found yourselves back in the comforting haven of your shared space. In the bathroom, bathed in a soft glow, you stood before the mirror, carefully removing mascara and eyeliner.
The simple act of cleansing away the day's makeup was a routine that marked the transition from daytime adventures to the quiet moments of the evening.
Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Harry lay on the bed, Milo nestled at his feet. He absentmindedly scratched at the short growth of hair on his head, a subtle reminder of a recent decision to shave it off.
The room radiated with a sense of tranquility as you each indulged in the rituals that marked the end of the day.
Wearing one of Harry's shirts that enveloped you in the familiar scent of him, you busied yourself in the bathroom, preparing a late evening birthday surprise.
The soft rustling sounds of your movements echoed against the backdrop of Harry's contemplative scratching, creating a harmony of shared space and intimate connection.
With a soft smile gracing your lips, you glanced at yourself in the bathroom mirror before deciding it was time to return to the bedroom.
Your hands were discreetly behind your back, holding a late evening birthday surprise for Harry. As you stepped into the bedroom, Harry, already seated on the bed, noticed your presence and sat up, beckoning you with open arms.
"I want a cuddle," he declared, his eyes twinkling with a playful warmth. Unable to resist his endearing request, you let out a soft giggle at his baby-like antics.
Playfully, you approached the bed as he beckoned you forward.
Crawling onto the bed next to him, you let yourself be enveloped in his arms. You laid your head on his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart echoing comfort and love.
The anticipation of the surprise gift still hidden behind your back added an extra layer of excitement to the intimate moment.
"I missed you," Harry murmured, his voice a gentle caress. You pressed a kiss over his heart, savoring the warmth of the connection. His arms tightened around you, embracing the familiar comfort of being close.
Taking a deep breath, you looked at Harry with a warm smile, saying, "I've got one last present for you. Close your eyes."
Harry hesitated for a moment, a playful smirk tugging at his lips, before obediently shutting his eyes. With gentle steps, you moved towards him, the late evening's golden glow casting a soft ambiance around you.
In your hands, you held a delicate gift, and with a mix of hesitation and tenderness, you softly placed it in Harry's hands.
"Okay, open your eyes," you instructed, your heart fluttering with a secret that had the power to change your lives forever.
Harry blinked his eyes open, and as he glanced down at his hands, a flicker of confusion passed over his face. Then, his gaze landed on the small object nestled in his palms.
It took a moment for the realisation to sink in, and when he saw what it was, his eyes widened, and he gasped.
"What... is this?" Harry stammered, his voice shaky with emotion.
His trembling fingers picked up the small pregnancy test.
The room fell silent as the weight of the revelation settled in. Harry's eyes locked onto the test, and tears immediately welled up.
"S’this for real?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "This isn't some sick joke, right?"
You shook your head, a mixture of joy and vulnerability in your gaze. Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against his, tears streaming down both your cheeks.
"It's true, H. I'm eleven weeks pregnant," you whispered, the magnitude of the moment engulfing you both in a wave of overwhelming emotions.
Harry's breath caught, and he pulled back slightly to look into your eyes.
"I... we're going to be parents?" he uttered, a mix of disbelief and elation in his voice.
A tender smile graced your lips, and you nodded. "Yes, Harry. We're going to be parents."
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he pulled you into a tight embrace.
"I can't believe it. M’going to be a dad," he mumbled against your hair, his voice filled with a joy that echoed through the room.
Overwhelmed with emotion, Harry leaned forward, his hand gently pressing against your stomach as if trying to connect with the new life growing within.
The tender touch conveyed a depth of love that words could only strive to express. His lips found yours in a sweet, lingering kiss, and as he pulled back, he whispered, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
“This is the best birthday ever,”he spoke, chocking out a soft sob. “Thank you m’love, thank you, thank you for making us parents.”
You softly placed your hands on his cheeks to get him to look at you, and when his green eyes met yours, you smiled at him tenderly.
“Happy 30th Birthday, Baby.”
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hiraya-rawr · 1 year
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but i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs
characters !! al haitham, kaeya, tighnari, ayato, zhongli
synopsis !! spoilers/ you know nahida's story quest where people dreamt of people they miss? so they didn't wanna wake up? yes. you're their greatest source of grief.
contains !! gn reader, grief themes, angst/comfort? or is it angst/angst. messing with the original plot of nahida's quest but the idea remains the same. team dynamics! can be considered sagau /playable au. character death mentions aka me exploring all the ways to make mc gone
inspo !! cardigan by taylor swift 🎵
AL HAITHAM
// cause I knew you / steppin' on the last train / marked me like a bloodstain, I / I knew you / tried to change the ending
All he did was blink. He knew what he was getting himself into when the traveler and the dendro archon explained the situation; people in grief didn't want to wake up. He knew they were entering a dream realm that targeted the vulnerable. He knew he might see you— but it's been years and this dream version of you is simply a fake, this means little to him now, right?
Yet, in one blink, the city of Sumeru disappeared and what he saw instead was—
"(Name)." He mutters under his breath, barely.
"Who's that?" The traveler turns to him.
"Haitham!" You greet, voice cheery, unchanged, the exact replica down to every detail. He feels his face shift in expression, his hand raises, reaches out before he could even realize it himself and—
He blinks again. You're gone.
"Huh? They disappeared!" Paimon squeaks, flying behind the traveler, "Like a ghost! That was sooo scary."
The blonde looks on thoughtfully, "Was. . that someone you know, Al Haitham?"
Snapping out of his daze, he takes a step back.
". . . someone I knew. Yes." He straightens himself, looking away. "Let's keep going. There's no time to waste."
KAEYA
// peter losing wendy, I / I knew you / leavin' like a father / running like water, I / and when you are young, they assume you know nothing
Jumping from portal to portal, trying to find the dream host with the traveler was exhausting. Kaeya was beginning to question why, of all the characters on the team, he had to come along (then again, such events were always fun).
It was a relief when a portal landed him in Starfell Valley. The breeze ruffling through his hair, sweet flowers and cecilias gently leaning to the wind, and—
You, holding onto your wind glider, waving at him from a distance.
"Well? Aren't you going to teach me how to fly?" You yell out, huffing theatrically.
Ah, yes. Kaeya remembers this. His footsteps take him forward, closer to where you are. Grass brushing against him with every step.
"Kaeya?" You tilt your head.
He remembers this. He was supposed to teach you, you were supposed to take your license exam in a few days, you were nervous—
Archons, you were nervous and a little scared and he brushed it off. He was a natural at gliding and he believed you'd get over it and glide as easily as he could.
Then he looked away. Just for a second —a single second— and an updraft lifted you higher than you were used to. And you struggled to control your wings. And you tumbled. And there was a cliff—
Oh, Stormbearer Point used to be so lovely until he lost you.
"Kaeya, are we going to start glidi— oomf-"
His arms wrap around you, bringing you close, holding you to himself. He lets a hand rest on the glider you held on one hand, pushing it away, aside, further from you –because how dare that wretched thing fail you– until it falls to the grass.
"Kaeya? What's wrong?"
"Can we–" He nearly sobs, a lump in his throat as he holds back, ". . . Can we not do this today?"
He feels your own arms wrapping around him. It's the closest he could get to remembering your warmth.
"Alright. . . it's alright, Kae, I'll learn to glide on another day," You whisper softly, "There's always next time."
TIGHNARI
// but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss / I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / the smell of smoke would hang around this long
"Even if they resemble their loved ones, it doesn't change the fact that it's a figment of their imagination cultivated by the Akasha. They shouldn't be swayed." Tighnari said this to the Traveler on the very day they started exploring the dream situation.
Yet, as he rests in bed after a long day of investigating, there's you.
"Nari! You're back!" You greet, holding up a tea set as he enters the tree-like house.
He's quiet. Quiet as he sits on the chair he always sat on (the one practically reserved for his visits), quiet as you pour him tea (the one you brew whenever he comes over), and quiet as you sit across him with a small smile.
"How is it this time? Too bitter?"
". . . it's fine."
"Will you stay longer this time?"
". . . no, I'll leave soon." He places down the teacup, "Once my investigation with the traveler is done, this will all be over."
He stands up, the chair scrapes against the wooden floor (like it always used to do), you look up at him curiously (the same way you used to).
"Do you really want that?" You ask.
Tighnari knows that it's the dream trying to keep him asleep, trying to tie him down. You're not you, this is all fake, therefore it shouldn't matter. He doesn't need to entertain you any more than he should.
So he diverts the question because archons, once upon a dream, you were all he wanted. You are all he wants.
"I'm leaving now. Thank you for the tea."
"You stay a little bit longer each time you visit," You smile, "Maybe if I brew even better tea, you'll actually stay."
He freezes. Has he been staying longer?
He bites his lip, continuing to walk away from the tree house. It's a figment of his imagination, he shouldn't be swayed.
AYATO
// 'cause I knew everything when I was young / I knew I'd curse you for the longest time / chasin' shadows in the grocery line
He was expecting it, actually. The traveler had already explained that it's a phenomenon happening to those with losses, and he's aware -with losing his parents at a young age- that he was vulnerable to the dreams.
The minute he falls asleep, the moon high over Sumeru, you appear in his dreams.
"Ayato!"
"(Name)."
No matter how much he expected you, the surprise must still be on his face as you laugh.
"What's with that look? Do you miss me that much?"
Should he entertain the dream? Or ignore you? Then again, what does he have to lose by at least answering your questions. he misses you, how you talk, how you laugh-
"I did. I do." He replies, a calm smile on his face.
"We can't have that! If you miss me already after such a short time, how much more when I'm sent away to get married?"
Oh, so it's that part of the timeline.
Perhaps the sourness of his thoughts reflected on his expression, or maybe you guessed it on your own (you were always so good at understanding him), but you sighed and gave a sad smile.
"I. . . I have to be honest. I'm kind of scared," You chuckle, "It's two boat rides away from Narukami, and the rumors about my fiancé is. . . not so great."
Ayato knows that. Your fiancé killed you on your second year of marriage and attempted to frame it on a servant. Despite knowing all this, the only reply he could muster was a monotonous "I see. . ."
"But we promised each other, didn't we?" You stand straight, facing him with enthusiasm, "We'll make our clans great again. I'll give honor to my clan, and you'll redeem the Kamisato name! Who knows, maybe next time we meet. . . "
There's a glint in your eye and he understands what you're trying to say. Maybe next time, the two of us could be together. It was a childish dream— one that didn't consider divorces or politics or death. Maybe next time, the Kamisato clan would be powerful enough to whisk you away. Maybe next time, Ayato would be enough to marry you without shaming either of your clans. Maybe next time, it could be "us".
The dream turns hazy as Ayato feels himself being shaken awake, the high pitched voice of Paimon floating above him and the traveler next to him, shaking him, "Ayato! Ayato! You have to wake up, the dream isn't real!"
But it was real, wasn't it? It happened so long ago.
ZHONGLI
// I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired / and you'd be standin' in my front porch light // and I knew you'd come back to me / you'd come back to me / and you'd come back to me / and you'd come back
The dream realm was turning dangerous, the host lost all control and everyone's loved ones were beginning to turn into horrible beasts.
Beasts were easy, though. For Zhongli, all he had to do was maintain his shield around the traveler and the other party members, ensuring everyone's safety. This was easy enough- for what being could actually penetrate the shield of an archon?
"Morax?"
It was you, standing amidst the chaos, as beings turned to monsters and the traveler fought back in defense. An echo of a nightmarish past— of the archon war and of dying gods. You looked no different from that day you stood next to him, ready to protect each other's backs.
He mutters your name so lightly, it fades into the noise around him.
"Morax, listen to me–" You try approaching, only to be stopped by his shield. For a second, he thinks of letting it down, but this wasn't you— this was a dream, a memory.
"Morax, you have to win, it has to be you," It's a desperate sound coming from your lips as your hands rest flat against his shield. He wants to hold you. Why is this nightmare coming back now? Why must he see you here? The logical part of him, the one trained through years of mental and physical warfare, understands that the dream wants him to take down his shield.
"You have to be the Geo Archon. You have to kill me, Morax–"
Ah, yes, he did kill you to become the Geo Archon that day. He remembers it as clear as gold in his memories.
"Get away from Zhongli!" He hears the traveler yell, a sword slashing between him and you, as you back away.
"Are you okay?" The traveler asks, posed in the defense.
"Yes, don't worry about me," He replies, composing himself as his polearm manifests in his hand, "Rather, allow me to deal with this myself."
Because how dare this dream taunt him. How dare this dream imitate you.
note // for the holidays, im extending commissions at a special price! it's $1/character scenario and $3 minimum in fics 😋
consider support me on ko-fi or paypal! // general masterlist
taglist // @absolut-wildflower @boundedbyfate @sadlonelybagel @eissaaaa @ladycoleigh @nejibot @milkypompon @bloodreaper08 @irethepotato @x-zho @ro-river @mich-cola @mxsomn @ackrylik @nicebonescomrades @starforecasts @stygianoir @yuminako @eccedentesiast-sapphic @nebulaera @nuttytani @klutzkat @stygianoir14 @shizunxie @bluriie @aestellia @abyislan08 @scooterscoob @lordbugs
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askdiscordwhooves · 4 months
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This update was drawn by me, @jitterbugjive
I want to address one thing that I KNOW some people are going to complain about because they've already complained about if it would happen, and that’s The Doctor and Derpy getting together in the end. I understand the concerns. This is in no way meant to say ‘your abusers will eventually change for the better if you just say the right things to them’. This isn’t that kind of story. These are special circumstances that DO NOT EXIST in real life where the abuser was under MAGICAL mind control. That’s not who he actually is and when he’s himself he’s not remotely an abuser. He is safe from having a relapse, the curse is gone and over with because the core Discord was killed while the fragment left over in their universe has been reformed.
 Real abusers are not under any kind of puppetry or mind control when they do what they do, and no not even getting drunk counts as this because when someone is an abusive drunk they’re still choosing to get drunk when they are well aware of what they do when under the influence. If The Doctor did any of this abuse on his own terms, I wouldn’t have let them get back together. I’m an abuse survivor, I know better than that. When you try to compare completely fantasy scenarios that can’t happen in real life to.. Well, real life, you’re kind of reaching at straws at that point. Besides, this relationship wasn’t automatically better just because he returned to normal. Both of them suffered damage and trauma and both needed to navigate around it to be able to trust one another again. If there’s any kind of comparison to make, it’d be more like a loved one suffering a psychotic episode and doing horrible things they’d never do in their right mind. And some people are able to understand and forgive, while others are not. The pain of having a psychotic episode and saying and doing things that hurt people is really hard to overcome, it’s hard to trust yourself and it can be hard to make amends. But a psychotic episode does not dictate who a person is. It just doesn’t. And that’s the closest thing to reality this story is. I tried to handle this as best I could, because in my line of work recovery is the most important thing and I understand that someone coming out of a bad episode needs support and compassion (Unless they’re a terrible person in general) and there have been extreme cases where perfectly good people end up going as far as murder- even murdering their own children, but their loved ones are able to reason that they were sick and they are going to suffer great pain upon realizing what they’d done, and they are going to seek help. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to forgive someone who did terrible things in a psychotic state, and that’s within your right, but it doesn’t mean people who can forgive are any less valid. Listen, if a husband can be capable of not blaming his wife for killing their kids in a psychotic state (a very real event that happened rather recently, simply google “wife psychosis news killed children husband forgives” and you’ll find it), it's perfectly reasonable that someone can forgive someone who was under magical mind control.
If you are in a physically abusive relationship, you need to get out of it. The likelihood of this person changing for the better is extremely low, and you can’t cling to the idea of the rare few people who manage to work through these kind of things. Those are very special circumstances and in my opinion if there’s a relapse into violence after making genuine efforts to change, that should be the end of it once and for all. It shouldn’t be happening to begin with, it should not be tolerated. You matter, you deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Never let anyone tell you or make you feel otherwise. Please take care of yourselves, and DO NOT use this story as a basis for how to manage your own relationships, no matter how much you might think you see yourselves in it. This is fiction, and the scenarios in this story do not happen in real life. If you can’t discern reality from fiction, that is all on you, not me.
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ithebookhoarder · 3 days
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Do you have any criminal minds fics in progress? I’d love to see more of your work for them :)
A Sweet Surprise (Aaron Hotchner x AFAB!Reader)
A/N: Oh do I? Haha. Well, whilst my inbox of requests is bursting this randomly fell out of my brain, so great timing with this I guess? I promise I will get to the other stories soon people - in the meantime, enjoy xxx
Also, if any of you guys enjoy my work, or just feel like it, then visit my Ko-fi here: https://ko-fi.com/ithebookhoarder ☕️
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Warnings: Alcohol, mentions of pregnancy, Aaron being a protective partner
Masterlist
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“Aaron, honey, stop," you giggled, trying and failing to wriggle free from your husband’s wandering hands. "I swear, I am fine. Don’t make me banish you back into the living room. You know Garcia has been dying to get you to play Monopoly and, so help me God, I will tell her you’re dying to be the shoe.“
Aaron’s laugh was infectious and if you weren’t so stressed you’d have melted into him. Instead, your eyes narrowed into a warning glare as he reached for you again. 
“I just think you should let me help you, honey-” he pleaded, falling silent as soon as you heard footsteps approaching the kitchen doorway. You glanced up, watching as your host for the evening, Rossi, appeared, an empty glass of wine in hand. He had clearly come in need of a refill of whatever expensive vintage he had cracked open for your monthly team dinner. 
“Help with what?” he teased, watching as Aaron sheepishly stepped back, as if he was a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Aaron, you may be the boss in the office but in the kitchen? We both know Y/N is the only one I trust to help me cook, so leave her be and come relax in the other room, ok? She clearly has dessert handled.” 
“Thank you, Rossi.” You smirked, pushing Aaron back with a floured covered hand. “I told him I could handle a pie, but you know what he’s like.”
“I’m just offering to help.”
“Which I thank you for, but I got this,” you assured, even if he clearly disagreed. 
“I know, but it’s been a long day, why don’t you let me finish this-”
“Aaron Hotchner, go and sit down. Now.”
Rossi’s eyes widened as he let the bickering continue, waiting until he had finished filling his glass before he decided to weigh in again. He knew the pair of you better than you knew yourselves sometimes and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out what was going on here. 
Aaron was protective of those he loved at the best of times, but something was different - and considering you hadn’t touched any of the drinks that had been put in front of you tonight, he had a pretty good idea what.  
“Aaron,” he sighed, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Come on, come have a drink with me and the team. We both know Y/N is going to be ok. She’ll join us in a minute, or she’ll ask if she needs help.” 
"But-"
"Leave the poor girl alone," Rossi teased, shooting you both a knowing look. “Otherwise, you'll give yourselves away before we even get to dinner.”
Aaron coughed but failed to hide the shock on his face. It was no use either of you trying to deny it, not when your closest friends were also profilers. If anything, you were surprised you two had been able to hide it this long - and it had only been a mere week since you’d first told him the good news. 
“Ah,” he choked, turning slightly red. However, he relaxed as soon as you turned and pressed a kiss against his cheek. He could see you were relieved by the discovery, rather than upset, and that was enough to make him remember who it was he was sharing the news with. 
"Ha! I told youuuuu,” you sang smugly. “And now you owe me $50. I knew you’d be the one to give it away.” 
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, sweetheart.”
“Oh, I will.” 
“Well, congratulations to you both,” Rossi said simply, lifting his glass in a silent toast. He then shook Aaron’s hand and reached to pull you into a hug of his own. However, it was he went to let you go that he paused. “And Y/N? If you do need a break, or want me to finish dessert, I can-“
"Oh my god, Rossi! Not you too,” you laughed, rolling your eyes. “Are you going to tell anyone?”  
“Oh, hell no,” he chuckled. “Given your performance tonight, I want to see if you can manage to keep it a secret from the team until dinner, let alone until work on Monday."
"So much for the being the best profilers in the US," you snorted, remembering how it had been Jack who had first worked it out rather than his usually observant father. He'd been the one to spot the pregnancy pamphlets hidden in your purse, after digging to find the candy he knew you always kept in there.
Of course, he'd only reacted with excitement upon learning he was going to be a big brother - leading to him bursting into the house, asking when he'd get to play with his new sibling... yeah, you'd thought Aaron was about to pass out he went so white.
“Hey, now. In my defence,” Aaron protested, “you're not showing yet."
"So my weird ass craving requests didn't tip you off?"
"Honey, you eat so much weird shit normally... Like, so much. Even Jack wouldn't eat half the stuff you do."
Well, he had you there. "... You still owe me $50."
238 notes · View notes
alwritey-aphrodite · 8 months
Text
head first, fearless
Pairing: Jamie Tartt x single mom!reader
Warnings: swearing, motherhood
Word Count: 5.5k
Author’s Note: here she is!! I also have ideas for a little follow up if anyone’s interested! And a very big thank you to @sokkigarden for being so lovely and helping me so much with this one
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Some days you’re convinced Keeley Jones was put on this Earth simply to make your life better. When you’d moved next door to her five years ago, you never would have thought that the brightly dressed, brightly smiling woman would become one of your closest friends and your go-to babysitter.
It didn’t matter if it was a Wednesday or a Saturday, twelve in the afternoon or twelve at night, Keeley would take five-year-old Stella into her home with open arms and a bright smile.
“Anything you need, babes, I’m always here,” she’d told you the very first time you’d asked her to babysit at the last minute with tears in your eyes, and you’ve come to learn that she meant it.
So today, when you received a call from your boss at nine in the morning on a Saturday, you didn’t think twice before bringing Stella next door. Stella was settled on your hip, chattering away about how excited she is to see Keeley and all the fun things they’ll do together while you knocked on the door.
“You aren’t Keeley,” you say, confusion clouding your face at the man in front of you. He seems vaguely familiar to you, like you’d met in passing before, but you couldn’t place him.
“Jesus, Jamie,” you hear a voice from behind the man and he moves out of the way to reveal Keeley rushing towards the door, “sorry about him, he doesn’t know not to answer the door at other people’s houses,” she tells you as she rolls her eyes before reaching out for Stella with a bright smile.
Stella wriggles out of your arms and rushes towards Keeley’s plush couch with barely any time for you to plant a kiss on her forehead. You sigh with a mixture of relief and exhaustion, gathering yourself mentally before you head into the disaster zone that is your job.
“She’s been doing this thing where literally all she eats is strawberries,” you tell Keeley before you rush off, “but I’m sure you could get her to eat anything.”
“I’ll try my best,” she tells you with a wink before she all but shoves you away, “now don’t you worry about us, we’ll be just fine.” You smile at her one last time before you rush off to work, knowing Stella will be safe and happy for the whole day.
“Who was that?” Jamie asks, trying to seem nonchalant as he watches Keeley pour juice into a sippy cup as the little girl uses her chubby little fingers to turn on her favorite show.
“Oh that’s my neighbor, she’s a single mum and her boss is a total dickhead so I watch Stella whenever I can,” Keeley explains, leaning against the counter as she levels Jamie with a knowing stare, “she’s real fucking fit and I wouldn’t mind watching Stella while she does something actually enjoyable, like go on a date.”
Jamie’s a little embarrassed about how easy Keeley is able to read him, able to clock the way Jamie looked at you as he lingered in the doorway. You seemed magnetic, drawing Jamie towards you even as you rushed away and left him with nothing but the desire to know you better. Keeley stares for a few more seconds, long enough for Jamie to squirm under her gaze, before heading over to give Stella her breakfast with a giant smile.
Unsurprisingly, you were right, and Stella eats anything that Keeley makes for her, even the broccoli she had screamed at the night before. She ate it all with a smile, and Jamie was a little terrified at how quickly the little girl was taking over his heart. He’d always loved kids, loved getting to spend time with them and listen to the nonsensical way they talked, but something about Stella seemed different. She had been apprehensive about him at first, but by the time nap time rolls around, she falls asleep in his lap, her little head nestled against his shoulder.
This is how you find them when you rush home before dinner, not even bothering to knock or wait for Keeley to let you in. There’s still a Disney movie playing softly on the TV, and Keeley and Jamie are talking quietly so they won’t disturb Stella, even though you’re sure that girl could sleep through anything.
“Hi, babe!” Keeley greets you with a grin as she pats the couch next to her, and you’re so exhausted you don’t even think twice about sitting down, “Wanna stay for dinner?” She always tries to get you to stay for dinner, tries to get you to let someone take care of you for a change, but you’ve never once accepted her offer.
Today, though, you’re tired to your bones, and even the thought of ordering takeout seems like too much work, so you just nod. Keeley squeals before she looks over at Stella in mortification, but she’s still fast asleep against the man who opened the door that morning. Keeley must catch you looking because she sends you a wink before introducing the two of you, “That’s Jamie, Stella really seems to love him,” and then scurrying off to the kitchen.
At that, Jamie seems embarrassed, his cheeks tinged pink as he glances down at Stella, “I can try to hand her to you, if ya want?”
“Oh, no, I can never get her to nap this long,” you reassure him, and it almost feels like a swarm of butterflies are let loose in your stomach when he smiles at you.
The two of you talk quietly, Keeley joining in whenever she has something to add, and before long Stella is up and happily watching cartoons again. When it comes time for dinner, she demands to sit next to Jamie, practically vibrating with excitement at the idea of spending more time with her new friend.
Watching the two of them interact throughout the meal creates a pit in your stomach and an aching in your chest, as Jamie kindly helps Stella cut up her food and shoots her a wink when he steals a bite off of her plate and Stella just giggles and grins her way through the meal. As much as you’d like to stick around and catch up with Keeley and thank her properly for all of her help, you’re feeling the need to run so you help clean up in the kitchen before dragging Stella back home.
She’d been more than reluctant to leave and seemed on the verge of tears until you promised her ice cream before her bath and now she’s happily eating her dessert while recounting her entire day from the moment you dropped her off to the second you walked through the door.
“Jamie’s really nice and he let me do his hair and taught me to play football and Auntie Keeley said he thinks you’re pretty and…” you zone out after that, and even though you know Keeley was probably just teasing her friend, the thought sends you into a tailspin.
Sure, Jamie was obviously attractive and he was clearly great with Stella, but you barely knew each other and Stella could be lying to you because she’d recently started doing it just for fun. Knowing Keeley, though, she’s always trying to play matchmaker, and you wouldn’t put it past her to try and set up two of her single friends, regardless of if they’re compatible or not.
Still, you decide to spend some quality time searching for Jamie online after Stella goes to sleep.
What you don’t know, though, is that as you spend hours scrolling through all of Jamie’s socials, Keeley and Jamie are having a very similar conversation next door.
“Please just ask her out!” Keeley pleads for the thousandth time, pouring a glass of wine as Jamie pulls up the most recent episode of their favorite reality show.
“Keeley, I don’t know her at all.”
“I know, but I know her! And I know you, and I know the two of you would have a great time. Please, Jamie, the two of you deserve to have a good time and I want to babysit for something other than her boss being shitty.”
Jamie seems to be contemplating it, and Keeley knows she has him.
“I’ll give you her number, maybe invite her and Stella to a game, and then you can ask her out to dinner?” Keeley’s been toying with the idea of setting the two of you up, and now that you’ve actually met it seems like the most perfect idea and she knows you’ll be perfect together.
Keeley doesn’t wait for confirmation, going ahead and sending Jamie your contact information as he turns up the volume on the TV, as if to drown her out.
“And I’ll know if you don’t ask her,” she adds as she sits down next to him, feeling the need for one last push.
“Watch the show, Keeley,” Jamie says as turns his attention to the drama unfolding as if his heart isn’t racing at the idea of seeing you again, at the idea of taking you out for dinner.
It takes him a while to gather his courage, and he couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times he’s typed a message to you before quickly deleting it. He’d briefly considered asking his teammates for help, but that would mean explaining the whole situation and he remembers how intensely involved everyone was with Sam’s Bantr girl and he has no desire to be on the receiving end of that.
Instead, Keeley’s endless messages of Text. Her. push him over the edge until he types a text and hits send instead of delete.
Hey, it’s Jamie from Keeley’s house. Do you and Stella want to come to the game on Saturday? The seats are next to Keeley.
He couldn’t help the way he checked his phone every five minutes after hitting send, or the way his stomach swooped once you sent a reply.
Stella would love that, thank you :) she hasn’t stopped talking about you or football
Jamie needs to tamper down his smile when he reads that because he knows if any of his teammates catch him smiling at his phone, he’d never hear the end of it. Instead, he tells you that Keeley will have the tickets for you and he goes about the rest of his day as if his stomach isn’t full of butterflies at the idea of seeing you again or getting another text from you.
Saturday can’t come soon enough, with Stella bouncing off the walls at the idea of seeing her new friend again and, even though you’d never admit it to anyone, you’re looking forward to seeing Jamie too. Even though your conversation was brief, it was clear that Stella loved him and you’d gotten to know him a little better through texting, where he made you promise to come down to the dressing room after the match so he could say hello to Stella.
Unsurprisingly, it’s a struggle to get Stella into her little Richmond jersey, an old hand-me-down of Keeley’s niece with Kent plastered on the back; she begs you to wear it all the time, but the one day she’s supposed to, it's like the fabric is made of knives. By the time you stumble out to Keeley’s car, you’re sweaty and aggravated and looking forward to spending the afternoon with your best friend.
What you weren’t expecting, though, was to be led up to the owner’s box, where you were greeted by Keeley’s friend Rebecca, who was intimidatingly beautiful and the owner of AFC Richmond. You’d met a few times, but seeing her in her element while you wrangled a kindergartener made you feel like a fish out of water.
“And you must be Stella,” she says, looking down with a smile at your daughter who’s trying to escape your grip on her hand.
“Normally she has manners,” you respond as you smooth a hand over the girl’s hair, trying to get her to calm down for just a moment, knowing all the excitement of the match is going to make it impossible for her to sleep as it is.
Rebecca just chuckles, her brilliant smile never leaving her face.
“I completely understand, my Jelka sometimes acts like she’s never left the house.”
“I didn’t know you had a daughter?” Your statement comes out more like a question, racking your brain for any memory of Rebecca mentioning a child before.
“It’s a recent development,” Keeley adds with a wink to you as she squeezes Rebecca’s arm, and the taller woman just scoffs.
The four of you make your way out to your seats, Stella insisting on standing up on your legs, blocking everyone behind you. You turn to apologize, but the man sitting behind you just brushes it off.
“Children are strong willed,” he tells you with a reassuring smile, “I couldn’t even get my boys to wear pants when they were her age.”
It’s hard to ignore the urge to apologize for everything you or Stella did, but knowing you were surrounded by parents who understood the struggles of a strong willed child helped calm your nerves. It wasn’t that Stella misbehaved or that you let her run wild, but sometimes people who weren’t parents didn’t understand and expected her to sit quietly and still, as if she was a little adult and not a five year old child. Luckily, as the match started, everyone seemed to get as rambunctious and energetic as her.
Watching the game, you can’t help the way your eyes keep drifting to Jamie, even when he doesn’t have the ball. There’s just something about him that continues to draw your eyes to the large number nine on his back as he runs across the pitch. He scores right before halftime, and no one in that stadium is half as excited as Stella, who’s jumping up and down and screaming as if you just told her you’re taking a trip to Disney.
Richmond scores two more times, winning the game without much of a fight.
“Come on, let’s go see the boys!” Keeley stands and wiggles her fingers at Stella, who clambers out of her seat and eagerly grabs her hand, leaving you no choice but to follow. Keeley all but runs down the stairs with you and Rebecca trailing behind, exchanging information to get your girls together some time.
When you make it to the dressing room, you’re hit in the face with noise and warmth and the smell of sweat, but Stella is so excited you can barely focus on anything other than keeping your grip on her little hand. Keeley knocks and lets herself in with you and Rebecca following and you can’t help the way you immediately feel like there are 27 pairs of eyes on you.
“Jamie!” Stella slips out of your grip and makes a beeline for the striker and your heart stutters at the easy way she jumps into his grip, at the way he smiles at the little girl.
“We’ve gotta get you a better fucking kit,” Jamie tells her when he sees the large Kent plastered on her back, leading to stares and shushes from the rest of the team. Jamie, realizing what he’s said, looks to you with eyes wide with fear and remorse.
“It’s nothing she hasn’t heard before,” you tell him with a smile, and the room erupts into noise again, the team swarming your daughter and asking her opinions on the match, considering everything she says with genuine concern. You keep watch out of the corner of your eye, but from what you’ve heard from Keeley and what you know about Jamie, you’re sure Stella will be fine, but it’s hard to turn off the mom instincts.
Isaac is marching Stella around the room on his shoulders to “give her a better view” when Jamie comes over to where you’re standing with Keeley, Rebecca, and the coaches.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, sure, of course,” you shoot a glance back at Keeley, but she just winks at you as Jamie leads you out into the hallway.
It’s silent for a few moments, Jamie fiddling with the front of his kit, before he finally says, “Did Stella have a good time?”
“She loved it, probably the best day of her life so far,” you grin at him, hearing your daughter’s happy giggles through the dressing room door.
“Good, good,” he falls silent again, shoving his hands into the front of his kit.
You’re about to head back into the dressing room, even though you’re certain that wasn’t what Jamie wanted to ask you, when a question tumbles out of his mouth so quickly you’re certain you’ve misunderstood him.
“Wanna grab dinner sometime?” He expels a breath as if this is the most difficult thing he’s had to do today.
“What?” You ask in response, confused and surprised and sure you just didn’t hear him right.
“Would you like to get dinner sometime?” He asks again, slower, “Like, as a date?”
“That sounds nice,” and with the way he beams at you, you’re sure you’d agree to whatever he asks you.
“Cool.” You stand in the hallway for a few moments longer, just smiling at each other, before the laughter of your daughter snaps you out of your stupor and you head back into the dressing room. You can tell by the look on Keeley’s face that she knew exactly what Jamie had asked you, and was probably the one who pushed him to do it.
“Need a babysitter Friday night?” she asks as you approach, and you just roll your eyes at her, turning your attention back to Stella and the group of footballers that seem so enamored with her and her opinions.
The celebration starts to die down, even though you’re certain the party’s going to pick up at some exclusive club or bar in a few hours, and Rebecca walks with you and Keeley out into the car park.
“How long has that been a thing?” She asks, jutting her head back towards the building with a knowing little smirk as you buckle Stella into her seat.
“There is no thing,” you fix Keeley with a look, knowing that she’s probably been planning that for months, before you’d even met Jamie, and Rebecca has been in on it the whole time.
Still, you promise to message Rebecca with the dates that you and Stella are free for a playdate before buckling yourself into the driver’s seat, all the excitement of the day starting to wear you down. Hopefully, Stella’s so worn out from excitement she goes right to sleep when you get home, but you know the more likely scenario is that she stays up all night because she’s wound up.
The universe must be on your side, though, because Stella falls asleep before you’re even home and you need Keeley’s help to open your front door.
“God, this was so much easier to do when she was smaller,” you whisper with a grin, thinking of all the times Keeley needed to help you into your house when your arms were full of a sleeping Stella and groceries and your work bag. Keeley grins back, placing a kiss on Stella’s forehead before scampering off to her own house, waving goodbye before she closes the door.
Tell me when Jamie gives you a day + time, I’ll come over to help you get ready ;)
Even though you roll your eyes when you see the message, sent before you could even get Stella into bed, you really do appreciate her offer. You can’t even remember the last time you’d been out on a date, and you’ve certainly never been out with a professional footballer. Jamie’s clearly a nice guy, and you’ve enjoyed the few times you’d talked in person, but you’re already beyond nervous for the date that’s still days away.
Those nerves only grow as the week goes on, as you and Jamie settle on Friday at seven at an upscale restaurant you’d never even heard of, and as Keeley lets herself into your house with her spare key at four o’clock on Friday, your nerves reach their peak.
“Well, I’d totally fuck you,” Keeley says after she zips up the back of your dress, looping her arms around your waist and looking into your eyes through the mirror with a grin.
“Thanks, Keels, I’ll be sure to let him know that,” you reply with a giggle, finally starting to feel a little giddy at the thought of your date, even though your anxiety was pulsing just below the surface. The doorbell rings then, and you’re almost certain your heart is going to stop.
“I’ll get it,” Keeley gently pushes you aside as she makes her way out of the bathroom, “grab a purse before you come down, and not the big one! He won’t need snacks before dinner to stop him from crying!” She gives you a wink and then she’s gone, and you can just barely hear her greet Jamie at the door, followed by Stella making a run for him.
Breathing deeply, you make your way back into your bedroom to stuff all of your belongings into a tiny purse, leaving your trusty, large tote sitting on the bed, overflowing with snacks and toys to keep Stella entertained whenever you go out. As much as you’d love to, you know you can’t hide out in your room forever, so you snap your purse closed and make your way downstairs.
Walking down your steps makes you feel like you’re a teenager again, your prom date eagerly waiting at the door after getting grilled by your father, except this time it’s Jamie getting grilled by Keeley and your daughter. When she sees you, Stella is already reaching for you, attempting to wriggled herself out of the arms of a slack-jawed Jamie.
“C’mon, babe,” Keeley intercepts Stella instead, knowing you’ll never leave otherwise, “let’s go find a movie to watch.” Now, it’s just you and Jamie standing by your front door in silence, Stella’s happy jabbering filtering in from the living room the only noise.
“You look nice,” you finally break the silence, feeling awkward and unsure of yourself and certain you sound lame, like you haven’t been on a date in the last six years.
“So do you,” Jamie responds, gently trailing his eyes up and down your form despite the blush on the tips of his ears, “ready?”
You just nod, still needing time to process the fact that you’re going on a date with Jamie Tartt, who looks nothing less than perfect in dark slacks and a button up, and it’s clear that he had attempted to style his hair but the way he continually runs his hands through it has ruined whatever styling there was before. Hopefully the shock of going out with someone so gorgeous will wear off soon so you can actually participate in conversations.
Luckily, by the time you make it to the restaurant Keeley had recommended to Jamie, you’re able to talk about anything and everything, swapping stories about your childhoods and work and Stella, stories that Jamie seems genuinely interested in.
“I hadn’t put together any of her nursery furniture and she would not stop crying so I couldn’t put her down,” you tell him over dessert, explaining the beginning to your friendship with Keeley, “and then there was a knock on the door and I was ready to scream at whoever was on the other side, but it was Keeley and she took Stella right out of my arms and of course she stopped crying then.” You smile, reminiscing on how essential Keeley was during those first few months where you were convinced you’d made a mistake and you’d never survive.
“And then she sat with me while I put together the rest of Stella’s furniture, and she put her in the crib, turned on the baby monitor, and made me dinner.” Keeley had shown you that you weren’t alone, that you’d be able to handle whatever life throws at you because you had her by your side, and if anyone could understand that feeling it was Jamie. “She sat with me and came over every night, just to hang out, and when I went back to work, she watched Stella for me and I didn’t even need to ask.”
“Yeah, she’s magical like that, making you realize things about yourself, believing in you and shit,” Jamie adds, even as his cursing catches the attention of the tables around you.
“She insisted on being Stella’s fairy godmother,” you add with a giggle, delighting in the way Jamie smiles at you.
“I ordered Stella a Tartt kit, by the way,” as soon as the thought crosses your mind the words are out of your mouth, and it’s worth it when Jamie looks at you like this is the best news he’s ever heard.
“She’ll have to wear it to our next match, then,” and you’d agree to anything he says when he says it with that soft look in his eyes, like he might actually love you.
It’s too soon for any of that, but the thought doesn’t scare you the way it normally does. You think you’d enjoy being in love with Jamie, making breakfast together on the weekends and falling asleep next to each other every night of the week. Stella already adores him, so you’d never need to worry about that, and it seems like he cares for Stella the way you and Keeley do, and you know she needs all the love and support she can get.
Jamie glances at his phone, letting out a sigh as he notices the time.
“This is the best night I’ve had a in a while,” he says and you brace yourself for the finishing blow, “but grandad makes me get up at 4 AM for training. Maybe I can bring you coffee tomorrow?” He looks so hopeful, even if you weren’t already foaming at the mouth at the idea of spending more time with him, you’d say yes.
He walks you to your door, and you have to pretend that you don’t know that Keeley is watching from behind the curtains when you press a kiss to his cheek and he squeezes your hand in a way that makes you want to invite him in, even though you both know that would never happen. He waits until you’re safely inside before driving away, and as soon as the door shuts behind you, Keeley is attacking you for details.
Seated on the couch, legs tucked underneath you and junk food spread out on the coffee table, you recount your whole night, telling her how wonderful he was and how great he made you feel and Keeley looks happy enough to burst. Whether her joy comes from the fact that her two friends are happy or because she set the two of you up, you’ll never be sure.
After she leaves, you find yourself texting Jamie, thanking him for such a great night and wishing him luck with training before throwing yourself into bed, happy and exhausted and ready to sleep forever. You dream of Jamie and Stella and a dog, and when you wake up, you’re a little disappointed that it wasn’t real, though you’d never admit that to anyone.
Jamie brings coffee in the morning, and almost every morning after that. When you tell him to stop going out of his way, he tells you his house is right down the road, but Keeley confirms your suspicions that he’s lying. You just laugh when she tells you he’s wrong, too delighted that someone would go out of their way for you every morning to bring it up with him again.
It’s a little terrifying, how seamlessly Jamie fits into your life. You and Stella find yourself in the owner’s box of most Richmond home games, and Jamie brings over takeout every Friday night. If you’re ever working late or stuck at the office, Jamie always jumps at the chance to pick Stella up from school, sometimes grabbing Phoebe as well so the two girls can play together.
Sometimes you wonder if he does that solely to bother Roy, but you don’t mind as long as the girls get home safely.
Jamie is wonderful with Stella, and that was what scared you the most, because while you were used to dealing with heartbreak and disappointment, your daughter wasn’t. Every time you see them kicking a football around in your backyard or catch Stella asleep in Jamie’s lap during a movie, your heart constricts and your breath catches in your throat because you don’t know how you’re supposed to explain it to her if Jamie decides to leave, decides that a fit young footballer doesn’t need to be tied down by a kindergartener and her workaholic mother.
One night, a few months after that very first dinner, the two of you are sitting on the couch with Stella safely asleep in her bed and you’re so happy it scares you a little. This is everything you’ve always wanted, a loving partner who cares for your daughter like she’s his own, but you need to resist the urge to self-destruct.
“Jamie,” you start, reaching for his hand and pulling his attention away from the movie and hating how much this sounds like you’re about to break up with him, “I love you.” It’s a miracle you’re able to keep your voice steady with the terror you feel, but it all evaporates in a second when Jamie smiles at you, beaming from ear to ear as if he’s scored a game winning goal.
“I love you, too,” and he kisses you so softly it hurts you a little, hurts the part inside your brain that was wishing your life could have always been like this, wishing you could have always been this happy. You kiss him back, though, and the movie sits forgotten for the rest of the night.
“I got pregnant at nineteen,” you tell him later, wrapped up in your sheets and his arms, “and Stella’s dad isn’t a bad guy or anything, he just… wasn’t ready, which is fine, it was my choice in the end, but sometimes it really fucking sucked.” You sniffle, hating yourself a little for ruining such a lovely night but Jamie just pulls you close, presses a kiss to the crown of your head and traces nonsensical shapes on your arm.
“But then I found Keeley, and now I have you, and Stella’s perfect and everything turned out okay but I just wanted you to know,” you finish, breathing deeply for the first time since you started talking. It wasn’t like it was a secret that you had Stella young or that you were a single mom, but sometimes revealing all the details felt too intense, like no one needed or wanted to hear how you got to this point.
“Me mum was only twenty when I was born,” Jamie tells you, continuing his tracing on your arm and it’s then that you realize he’s been drawing hearts, “and my dad’s a real piece of a shit, so she basically raised me all on her own. And then she found Simon when I was a teenager and he’s a good guy, likes baking and shit. I think they’d both like you a lot, you and Stella.”
“Well, your mom must be pretty great, putting up with you all on her own,” you smile, bursting into laughter when Jamie squeezes your side, both of you feeling lighter and falling asleep after sharing more giggle-filled kisses.
Life continues on, leaving you giddy to see what the next day will hold. Jamie continues to bring coffee every morning, stopping by while Stella eats breakfast in front of the TV and you pack up three lunches. If there isn’t a game, Jamie stays over on the weekend and the two of you make breakfast together, swaying gently in the kitchen in your pajamas, basking in the sun and his presence until Stella stomps her way downstairs, hair ruffled and her grumpy little frown blooming into a smile the second she smells the pancake batter.
Stella started playing football on the same team as Phoebe, and you and Keeley get equally as excited as you do at Richmond matches. Whenever he’s available, Jamie will join Roy as an assistant coach, and even though he tells you it’s to spend time with Stella, you’re sure seeing the annoyed look on Roy’s face whenever he shows up is a nice bonus. The four of you will take the girls out to lunch after, and you’re reminded of all the wonderful people you’ve had in your corner, some longer than others but all equally as important to you.
Your life might not have gone the way you expected, but what you have now is better than anything you ever could have dreamed.
Tags: @whimsical-roasting @hopefulromances @onceuponaoneshot @jamietarttdodo @scaramou @ickydollysstuff @drizzyreese @amieinghigh @ilymoonie @better-things-to-do @yepyeahuhhuh @zazima @guccilongboard @shineforever19 @tortilla-maria1 @shakespeareanwannabe @lilweirdgal @flashyourgreeneyesatme @aiyaiy @just35yrsandtrying @chrissy1986 @emmy2811
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lovelybrooke · 4 days
Text
Letters Never Sent (Yandere Malleus x Reader)
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A letter wrote by Malleus Draconia, never sent to the object of his desires. Why don't you open it up and see what's inside...
masterlist
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Dear My Child of Man,
I am writing this letter with no intention of you receiving it. 
Maybe this is "silly" as you would describe it, but I find myself slowly losing the restraint on my emotions as the days go by. My heart fills with unfamiliar feelings as I think of you, mixing together into an ever present sense of desire that makes me near shameful. 
I find myself thinking of you always, from the moment I wake, to the moment I fall asleep. You seep your way into my dreams, where for but a moment I can relish in the fantasy that is you. I dream of your soft voice, your comforting gaze, your addicting presence. You are so captivating that I often forget I'm dreaming, until I awake with an aching feeling I've come to know as longing. 
I long for you, I've learned.
I long for your voice, for your gaze, for your presence. I long for every essence of your being to be directed towards me. Some may call me a fool, scoff my way and paint me a madman, but I am nothing without my love for you, so it bothers me none. I often wonder if you think of me as intensely as I do you. I have to admit it is exciting, the mere thought of you reciprocating my feelings warms me so. It is intoxicating, even as a fantasy, simply imagining a life with you is enough for me. Somedays, I imagine gifting you with an unending dream, one where it is just us, away from the rest of the world. Away from duty, and work, and anything else that could distract us from each other, from our love. We would be together and we would be happy until the end of your days, and even after you're gone, I would continue loving you. 
You were always so opposed to the idea, immortality. I remember the look on your face when you realized just how long I had lived, the sadness, the remorse, the pain. At that moment, it was not something I feared, more accurately not something I thought much about. It was not until I met you that it dawned upon me that at some point, you would leave this world, and that it would keep moving. Time would progress, people would grieve, but they would move on, plants would sprout and grow and wilt and eventually grow again, but I would remain stuck. Stuck with my dreams and fantasies. Stuck with the memory of you so present it would be like you never left in the first place. 
Even now, I fear what the world would be like without you. Not much fills me with fear, my Child of Man, but I've found myself scared lately. The thought of you leaving, of going back to your home, and never returning scares me. It is almost comical in a way, I find myself dreading the thought even while writing this. You should be proud, how easily you are able to terrify me is an excellent skill, one many would love to possess. 
You were my first true friend, did you know that? I have Lilia and Silver and Sebek, but I've always been treated as above them, as something untouchable. You were the first person to treat me like an equal, to bless me with the wonderful feeling of friendship. I often find myself racked with guilt, why should I desire more from you when you've already given me so much already? It is selfish, to seek out your love so desperately when I've already taken so much from you. You are my friend, and I should value our friendship above all. 
But that is why I fear, because my love for you goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. I would even say it goes beyond the boundaries of love. It is a longing so deep I wonder if I'll ever be the same again, all while knowing that I am too engrossed in the feeling that is you to ever go back. A longing so deep I yearn with desire unexplainable to man, desire so profound and raw that I am sure you have changed something within me. A longing so deep the closest word to describe it is obsession, but even obsession doesn't explain the hundreds of letters, all unset, pilling away, all centering you. 
Fear, love, what do distinctions matter if every single one of my thoughts center you. 
I have no desire to send this letter, my Child of Man, but I hope with every meeting, every passing day, every time we are together, you are able to feel the love I hold for you. I hope my longing, my devotion, my never ending, boundless obsession is clear to you, my love. 
Because I fear what will happen when I run out of paper.
---
A/n: here's to me hoping that this will break my writers block.
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monamourbladie · 8 months
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hi!! <3 im the anon who req the dan heng headcanons.. TYSM IT WAS AMAZING!!! OmG OMG OMG best idea ever. well not best idea ever. but imagine like blade is super distant and cold towards you as he normally is, right? but he secretly likes the reader for plot purposes. but one day, the reader is js like "oh well" and talks to someone else for a change, having fun w the other person instead of blade since blade 'doesnt' like them. would blade just stand there and watch knowing he cant rightfully do anything since it was partly his fault (and he has too much pride for himself), or would he try to get you to talk to him again?
HI ANON AHH tysm for the requests :D i’m glad you enjoyed it so much~! that’s a great idea i was so excited to write this one i tried to write it as fast as possible LOL
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Secretly Loves You - Blade x F!reader
warnings: none~
You had been apart of the Stellaron Hunters for about a year now. You had grown the closest with Silver Wolf, as you both shared an intense love of games. You were picked up from their time on the Xianzhou Luofu for your healing capabilities and quickly became a core member of the crew.
Elio liked you and so did Sam, Silver Wolf adored you and Kafka respected you. But the person who you wanted to like you the most seemed to despise you.
Blade — Kafka’s golden boy (you always swore they had something for each other, but neither ever confirmed it and nobody could guess if they were together or not) Fierceness aside, he was absolute eye candy to you.
Blade was extremely closed off — it’s been like that since day one. It took him months and months to warm up to Silver Wolf (and now he treats her like an irritating little sister that he secretly adores but claims he hates), and even though it’s been almost a full year, you haven’t been able to break through to him just yet.
You didn’t exactly know why. It wasn’t like he was talkative and excitable to everyone else by any means, but he definitely showed at least some kind of enjoyment speaking with people. With you? It seemed like he absolutely hated you.
Maybe it was the fact that he hated being nursed back to health due to him wanting to die so badly. You never understood that, and were just simply doing your job to protect him.
You’ve lost count by now of how many times he complained to you about helping him was unnecessary. It irritated you, but you always smiled at him and told him you were just doing your job.
“I told you, I don’t need your help,” he grunted as you rubbed special Xianzhou healing oils on his back. You bit your lip as you continued to massage it into his skin, “Do you ever not complain?” you said teasingly as you pat his back playfully.
He only grunted in response. He hated having you see him like this. He was shirtless on the med bay table, sitting up with his chest bandage off for once. His upper chest was heavily scarred and destroyed from all the times Jingliu killed him over and over again. The first time you saw those wounds, you were determined to try and heal them so he wasn’t forced to wear as many bandages on the daily.
You were using special Xianzhou healing oils to increase the healing speed — and within a few months, you were noticing small bits of healthier skin, showing it was working.
“Complain all you want, Bladie, but it’s actually working to help you.” He glanced back at her with a glare, “I told you not to call me that, L/n.” His voice was bitter and cold as always to you.
It hurt, but eventually you grew thicker skin to it. It hurt especially because over the months you began to harbor a nasty crush on the immortal man.
Silver Wolf loved to tease you about it, and swore she would help get you two together. But little interactions like these with Blade helped cement in your mind that there was no way he saw you as anything more than an annoying healer.
What you didn’t know was that Blade actually harbored feelings for you, too.
Due to his painful past, he was very adamant about not getting close to anyone again out of fear he’d lose everyone he loves again — especially a lover.
He thought you were absolutely beautiful. He secretly loved the extra attention you were giving him, and although he wanted nothing more than eternal rest, he was thankful that you were giving him a distraction from the pain.
He just had no idea how to tell you. He had a reputation with the Hunters as being the cold and brooding one. He definitely wasn’t sure how to approach a girl he liked and say “Hey, I like you” without feeling like an absolute pathetic fool.
It stayed this way for months. Neither of you saying anything to the other that would let the other know you like each other. Until eventually, a new member on the medical team started to work for the Hunters — a man named Leon.
Leon was everything Blade was hoping he could be for you. He was handsome, he was nice, gentlemanly — he was attentive to you and could speak his heart. You and him quickly became close, and there were even some moments where Leon took care of Blade instead of you.
He absolutely was growing jealous over the man. Some nights Blade wondered if he could just kill Leon and get on with it and swoop you off of your feet, but being a romantic was not Blade’s strong suit by any means.
His final straw finally made him snap to go to Kafka for advice. After his weekly checkup with you, he got home and realized his bandages weren’t tight enough around his chest, so he had to go back to the med bay. As he walked back to the med bay he froze, seeing you kissing Leon from a distance.
He felt his anger consume him and he decided to just deal with the loose bandage and fix it himself. He stormed off as he felt the Mara flare up within him, making him angrier than he normally would’ve been.
Of course you’re moving on. Why wouldn’t you? He never made any move on you to let you know he liked you. Why would you risk waiting around when a perfect man for you was right there?
Blade found himself at Kafka’s door as he knocked. She opened it and frowned seeing Blade angry, “Bladie? What’s wrong?” she asked.
Blade pushed himself in the door and slammed it behind him, huffing in frustration, “Can I just fucking kill Leon already?”
Kafka raised as brow as she motioned for him to sit down on her couch. “You can’t kill the rookie. Why do you want to?”
Blade unbuttoned his shirt and jacket and slid it off of his arms, revealing his bandaged chest. “Can you fix these for me? Y/n’s too busy getting fucked to deal with it.”
Kafka bit her lip as she smirked. “Am i sensing jealousy from you? Over Y/n and the rookie?”
He grumbled as he shook his head, running his fingers through his tousled hair, “Would you just leave it and fix this shit for me?”
Kafka raised her hands in defense as she sat behind him, beginning to unravel the bandages. “You just want it tighter, right?”
“Yes,” he muttered, looking out at the photo of them all on her wall.
Blade, Elio, Sam, Silver Wolf, Kafka, and Y/n were in it. He felt his heart ache seeing her so happy beside Silver Wolf. She looked just as happy in the photo as she did leaning in to kiss Leon.
The image of them kissing was seared in his brain, and it made him angrier the more he thought of it.
Kafka, whose used her Spirit Whisper on Blade long enough to understand when he was angry, rest her hand on his shoulder. “Blade. Talk with me. Why are you so angry right now?” she asked, her voice gentle with him.
He was silent for a moment before realizing this might be his only shot for help. He sighed, “…It’s about Y/n. I… I like her,” he said, his gravelly voice low and soft as he spoke. Kafka was the only person he felt comfortable opening up around.
“And I’m angry that she can’t see that. She knows I have a hard time expressing myself. So why couldn’t she tell?” Kafka unintentionally let out a laugh at his commentary.
He turned around, glancing back at her confused, “You’re laughing at me? Seriously, Kafka?”
“No — it’s just… have you even attempted to tell her that you like her? Everything I ever see, you’re ignoring her, glaring at her when her back is turned, and badmouthing her whenever you’re alone with her and she’s patching you up. It hurts her, Bladie. I refuse to believe that you think you’ve made your feelings clear,” she replied.
Blade blinked in confusion. “But I like her. I don’t treat anyone differently than that.”
“Are you even aware of how many people think we’re dating?” Kafka asked him. “I’m sure she thinks we’re dating, too. She probably gave up and moved on with that rookie.”
“Gave up? Does she like me too?” Blade asked quickly, feeling a slight glimmer of hope. Kafka shrugged, “It’s so obvious. She definitely gave up trying since you made no effort to show you were interested.”
“Well — help me out, what am I supposed to do now? Did I fuck up already and lose her to that damn rookie?” he asked her.
Kafka sighed, sitting back against the couch. “I don’t know. I’d recommend asking her tomorrow and just pray that you have a chance still. I know you really like her.”
Blade grumbled at this and nodded, grasping at his shirt and sliding it back on over his head now that Kafka had finished bandaging him up.
“Yeah, well. I don’t know if I’m that lucky. She was kissing him and seemed to be very happy with it,” he said with a bitter tone. “Thanks.”
“If it comes to it, I can always pull strings and check with Elio-“
“No,” he said firmly, standing up to leave. “I don’t want to know the answer.”
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
The next day sometime after lunch, Blade headed to the cafeteria with his heart pounding. He had never felt this anxious before, not for a long, long time.
Just tell her you like her. She’s just confused, that’s all. It’ll be fine…
He saw you sitting alone at one of the cafeteria benches, obviously on your lunch break. He took in a breath and walked over, sitting across from you.
You looked up from your data pad and smiled, “Hi, Blade. Did you need me to fix your bandages already?” you asked sweetly.
He was embarrassed that he felt his cheeks burn from the kindness in your voice. “No. That won’t be necessary. Kafka fixed them last night.”
Your smile visibly fell a bit and Blade cringed at himself. “Oh, Kafka… right. Well, what did you need?”
“I’m not with Kafka,” he said quickly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“Wrong idea?” you raised a brow, curious as to where he was going. “Wrong idea about… you and Kafka?” you muttered. He could sense a bit of irritancy on your end at the thought of them together.
“Right. We’re not. But… you and that Rookie. Leon, right? Are you?” he questioned. You seemed surprised that he asked and you let out a soft nervous laugh, “W-well, no… but. I mean, it’s complicated, I guess.” you took a sip of your drink as Blade tensed up.
“I want us to be, because the guy I like really, really doesn’t like me. So I’m just cutting my losses and trying to move on, I guess. It just so happens Leon has an interest in me. I’m just anxious to make the jump,” you confessed. There was no way he’d figure out it was him, so you felt comfortable saying it.
“Don’t,” Blade quickly said. “Don’t date Leon.” You furrowed your brows at him, “I’m sorry, why do you care? As far as I’m aware, you hate being around me. Quite frankly, I’m shocked you’re even speaking to me right now.”
Blade felt offended that you believed so strongly that he hated you. “You think I hate you? Why the hell do you think that?” he questioned.
“Because you’re always so cold and closed off towards me! You always are grumpy whenever you have to speak to me and have me work on you, you’re closed off and never speak to me unless you absolutely have to, and it honestly hurts! I don’t know why you treat me this way, but I’m tired of it.”
Blade felt like a total idiot hearing you open up like that. Kafka really was right…
“I don’t… I don’t hate you,” he said quietly, averting his eyes out of embarrassment. “I like you, Y/n. I just had no idea how to deal with it. I figured you’d just… know.”
You couldn’t help your eyes widen at his confession. “You mean to tell me this entire time I’ve been trying to get over you, you just assumed I knew you liked me?” you gawked.
“Yes?” Blade replied. It was so obvious that he was so, so bad at relationships but clearly was trying hard. You could only giggle at this, shaking your head. “Jesus, Blade, you’re really something, aren’t you?”
Blade wasn’t really so sure how to answer your comment. You started to smile, “So, since you don’t want me to go out with Leon… I’m assuming you want to take me out on a date instead, right?” you asked.
Blade felt his cheeks flush again as he nodded, “I would love to.”
You smiled and stood up, walking over to him and leaning in. “I get off of work in 4 hours. Meet me at my room at 6, okay?” you said, leaning in to kiss his cheek.
You were shocked to see the man actually blush at your action. He looked up at you with a smile and nodded, “…Okay. I’ll see you at 6.”
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st4rg1rl-16 · 3 months
Text
━━ ✶✶˖° 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗢 | 𝗡𝟰𝗦.
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𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀) ━ 2019 to 2023!f1 grid x driver!female oc
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 ━ carlos and lando give arabella love advice while after talking to toto, lewis start to feel threatened by the female rookie also charles confess his feelings
𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 ━ 2019, 29 march
𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ━ manama, bahrein
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ━ i think only cursing…for now 😜
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ━ here it is the second chapter! hope it helps to get your minds away from everything is happening because I definitely have a headache
𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ━ @namgification @burberryfilms @d3kstar @omgsuperstarg @whoselly
• — need for speed’s masterlist
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DESPITE being a couple of meters outside the garage, the red of her t-shirt two sizes too big stood out among the papaya-colored polo shirts of the McLaren staff. She pursed her lips and stood on her tiptoes trying to find the mop of black hair that belonged to her compatriot who, according to Ricciardo, was there.
She was beginning to suspect that the Australian had lied to her.
The truth was that she didn't know if it was a very good idea to go talk about her problem with Charles, with Carlos, but he was the only one she could talk to about everything. For some reason the girl had unconsciously taken the other spaniard as her confidant, closest friend and a bit like an older brother, perhaps because they had a country and culture in common or simply because they connected but Arabella liked being with Carlos and, well , Carlos liked being with Arabella. He saw her as another little sister to take care of and annoy, and he liked that because it made him feel closer to his home, to his family.
“What are we looking at?” A voice next to her made her jump in her place. She turned her body around and narrowed her eyes in annoyance at the owner of said voice.
"Carlos!" She growled his name and he opened those eyes of his wide indicating that he was listening to her "Where were you? I was looking for you".
He shrugged. “In the bathroom, I needed to take a shit”.
"Ah" Her nose wrinkled in displeasure before making a dismissive gesture "Do you want to go eat with me?".
"Okay, but why don't you go with Charles?" They both began walking towards the public cafeteria, he slid his arm around her shoulders and pressed her against his body "Shouldn't you eat together? You know, since you guys are teammates.
"He's busy" The lie came easily from her lips and Carlos seemed to believe it or at least that's what she thought when she saw him nod "Shouldn't you be eating with Lando?"
"Touché".
They walked a couple more minutes since the cafeteria was not far away, when they arrived they ordered and then took a seat.
"Carlos, you have a girlfriend, right?" She was going to wait until she found the best way to introduce the topic but she preferred to get straight to the point.
Which almost led to the older man choking on his orange juice "I mean, you're very pretty but you're a little too young for me and I don't see you like that, Bells".
"Ew, no!" She exclaimed with disgust, leaning back in her seat "That's not what i mean, gilipollas!". Asshole.
"Well, then why are you asking?!" Both raised their voices and since they also spoke in Spanish, they caught the attention of several people. The brown-eyed man cleared his throat "What's the point of that question then?".
She made a noise of displeasure biting her lower lip, she leaned forward indicating to her friend to do the same, he followed her curiously.
"I like a boy or at least I think I like him" She muttered reluctantly. She didn't really like talking about feelings, especially her own.
Sainz smiled broadly, punching her arm "Look at you! I knew that with that face you couldn't be very innocent".
Immediately her cheeks turned as red as her shirt. She stretched out her arm and pinched him, earning a complaint from him while she scolded him "Shut up, damn it, and help me."
"Let's see, tell Tito Carlos who the lucky one is".
"In your dreams".
"Oh, come on, tía". Dude.
"What are you guys talking about?" A third voice spoke in english making both of them turn their heads to see the 55`s teammate looking at them with a big smile on his face and his eyes full of curiosity "Can I join?".
The girl pointed at him with her finger "But you're already sitting down and everything."
"It was to be polite, nothing more" He grabbed the armrests of the chair and began to jump on it to bring it closer to the table.
The spanish drivers looked at each other.
When he was finally happy with the distance between his body and the table he rested his elbows on the armrests and joined his hands, looking at both of them "So, what were we talking about?".
"Well, Bel…
"Don't even think about it," She growled in spanish towards the oldest at the table.
Norris pouted “Please, I want to know too or I'll feel left out.”
"You don't know how to keep secrets, Lando. Not even if your life depends on it" The girl drank her coffee and looked at the british boy who made a noise of dissatisfaction.
"That is not true! I haven't told anyone that we were each other's first kiss, did I?" He spoke proudly of himself, without realizing his mistake.
"For fuck's sake, Lando," She murmured, looking away from both of them.
"Wait, what?!" Carlos looked at both of them in disbelief, turned to the boy and extended his hand with a smile "That's my boy!
The blue-eyed man smiled and bumped his palm against the black-haired man's before he brought him closer to his chest, giving a "men's" greeting. The girl rolled her eyes but laughed when he turned to her and said "You could do better."
"Hey!" Lando's smile faded instantly.
"Back to the topic, I need help. The situation is…complicated, I can't give many details, but I don't know what to say or what to do"
She began to play with the napkins unconsciously to which Carlos smiled slightly, he thought it was cute that she was nervous.
Ah, first love.
"Do you think he likes you?".
She frowned. “Who doesn't like me?”.
Lando snorted earning a glare from the girl.
"Do you want me to remind you that you stuck your tongue down my throat".
"It was many years ago" He made a gesture dismissing her words.
She surreptitiously gave him the finger but he had to ignore it because the waitress arrived with a glass of milk. As soon as they thanked the woman and she was gone, they resumed the conversation.
"I guess he liked me because he kissed me".
Norris grabbed his teammate's arm and started making strange noises while he jumped in his chair.
"It's like a soap opera, how exciting" He approached her and resting her cheek on the palm of her hand, he looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
"Okay...?" She looked at him strangely and then turned her gaze to the man in front of her "We kissed several times".
"So, what's the problem?" Carlos looked at her with a frown.
She opened her hands in front of her in frustration “I don't know what to do! I don't have any experience with boys, except for this idiot" She pointed to the boy next to her.
"I think you should talk to him, discuss your feelings and if things are complicated as you say you both should talk if you want to move on or ignore your feelings".
She looked at him silently, weighing his advice. Carlos was right, she had to talk to Charles and clear this up or it could be detrimental to her career, after everything she had fought to get to where she was now.
"What good advice" Lando nodded, pointing to his teammate.
Arabella could only glare at him.
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“I THINK I have never seen someone like her” Toto Wolff crossed his arms, observing the track where Arabella and some members of the Ferrari team were. The female driver was going to make a video for YouTube in which she had to drive a few meters and be timed to test the team's latest car model.
Hamilton approached him and tilted his head "What do you mean?".
“I don't know, it's different. She has a lot of passion inside her” The car began to roar and above it the girl's excited scream was heard. He took his phone out of his pants pocket and motioned to his driver to come closer “I've investigated her, she almost died at age thirteen."
Lewis took the phone in his hands and watched the video. It was a Formula 3 race, he soon found the red car with the number nine and smiled: she was leading the race, although he soon frowned when he saw that the car began to lose its balance. He let out a groan as he saw little Arabella's car flying through the air and soon hitting the ground.
“She almost had to learn to walk again and you know what? As soon as she was discharged from the hospital, she got back into a car” He took back his phone and put it away again, looking towards the girl who was pressing the accelerator impatiently for the starting signal to be given.
“She's not afraid” The seven-time champion followed the direction in which his boss was looking.
A smile was planted on the tall man's lips. "Exactly and that's why we need her. I want her in Mercedes”.
That caught the younger man's attention, who quickly turned his head towards the older one. He frowned.
“Even if you offered her twenty million euros more, she wouldn't accept, she just signed with Ferrari. She can’t.”
“But the contracts can be ended, my dear Lewis” He patted him on the back”I need someone so when you retire they can continue your legacy, don't you want that? Someone to pass on your greatness to.”
The Briton remained silent, turning his gaze towards the Ferrari girl who was now doing donuts. Her laughter could be heard from where both men were.
Then Lewis felt jealous. He was jealous because she was young and she had a whole career ahead of her, she enjoyed cars like no one else, surely her skin crawled when she sat in a car and heard it roar. He didn't feel that anymore or at least not like he used to when he started. His heart clenched and he felt like throwing up. What if what she said in Drive to Survive came true? What if she really beat him? Then Toto would put her in Mercedes and he would become an old legend, overthrown by a little girl.
His jaw clenched. “She's only run one race, you still don't know if she is any good.”
"She had won all her life, Lewis." The tall man shrugged, making his white shirt wrinkle. He let out a small laugh. “I'm sure you'll have a tough time this season.”
The braids on his head danced as she turned his head toward him. He scanned him with his gaze before huffing, turning around and heading to his room. Toto followed him with his gaze, pursing his lips, knowing that the champion hadn’t liked that. He let out a sigh.
“Arabella, para!” A man, blond and tall, approached the car that was spinning in a perfect circle. Smoke surrounded the car and the screeching of the tires wearing out against the ground sounded throughout the track. He approached the car making the girl stop, she did it abruptly but still the car was perfectly aligned with the man's body, the front was a few meters from him so both could see each other's eyes through of the front window. The car began to roar louder and louder as the man pointed to the ground. “Get out of the car, miss.” Stop.
A few seconds later the car turned off and the girl's long, wavy brown hair emerged from the left side, and she was grumbling in a low voice.
From the way the blonde was scolding her, the CEO assumed that he was someone who had authority over her, the iPad and the phone in his hand told him that probably he was her manager, maybe her father or her uncle.
He grimaced, stretching his lips before beginning to walk towards them.
"What have we said about reckless things?" He heard the blonde scold her and wanted to laugh at her when he saw her head down.
“I race for Formula One, what's more reckless than that?” She murmured to which the man opened his mouth but was interrupted by the arrival of the Mercedes head. Arabella frowned when she saw that the scolding did not come, she raised her head to see that her manager wasn’t even looking at her, she turned her head and even she was surprised “Toto Wolff.”
The former driver smiled charmingly, extending his hand toward her “Arabella Torres, the new sensation of Formula One. It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm a fan.”
“Oh, I- thank you very much, I'm a fan of yours too” She accepted her hand firmly. Toto noticed how her face changed to a more serious, more professional one.
“I wanted to say congratulations to you for your position in the classification, eighth place is pretty good for being your first race in Formula One” The charming smile once again made its way between his lips and she wanted to frown. Call her distrustful but she didn't believe he was there, talking to her, just to congratulate her.
Instead she smiled politely and nodded, "Thank you, it means a lot. It would have been better to get the first position, but that will be tomorrow”.
He laughed while she felt her manager poking his index finger into her back. “I like your enthusiasm, it's what we need at Mercedes.”
And there it fucking was.
The girl raised an eyebrow. "What are you implying?".
“I would like to offer you a seat in Mercedes for when your contract with Ferrari ends” The proposal hit her like a bucket of cold water. She didn't believe it, it had to be a joke.
“Uh, yeah, Hello? Nicholas Jansen, her manager” With a slight push the blonde pushed her out of the way, he looked at the Mercedes team principal with a somewhat sarcastic smile “My client still can't talk about other proposals until her contract ends, I'm sorry.”
"Nicholas..." She tugged at his shirt, murmuring his name as a reprimand, the blonde ignored her.
Wolff nodded “I understand” He looked down from her to the girl “But she should think about it, two years go by very quick and Mercedes is not the only one who is interested in her.”
And with that he walked away from both of them, leaving them both speechless.
“What...?” The green-eyed girl watched as the former pilot's figure diminished as she walked away from her. She looked at her manager, furrowing her eyebrows. “Did he just say that there are more teams interested?”
“Yes, but what does it matter? Ferrari is what you've wanted since you were a kid” The suit wearing man looked at her curiously. He took two steps back when she didn't answer. "You're not thinking about changing colors, are you?".
She swallowed, looking away from Wolff and denied, "No, but it's good to know there are more options."
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​WHEN Charles met Arabella he believed that, although it sounded like a stupid and typical cliché, he had died and gone to heaven and that she was the angel who took his hand and guided him to his new home. He felt strange because he had never stopped to look at many girls, yes he had had some silly relationships but his main interest had always been cars, but her? Arabella Torres was like the finest work of art you could ever see in your life and it was hard not to focus on her.
He had seen her race and could confirm that he was impressed: she was fast, very fast and her driving style was risky and dangerous but still light and elegant. He had always been curious about the driver girl but had never managed to see her face or at least close to her to be able to appreciate her well.
And he regretted it.
It was in Maranello, 2016 when he met her, she was going to sign for the Ferrari academy and, by chance or destiny, he was there to train. He remembers that she got inside the place with her father and her manager to her side, a sly smile hung on her lips making her look like the she owned the place unlike the other rookies who looked nervous and intimidated by being there. She, on the other hand, oozed confidence from her pores.
He liked that, although what he liked most was that when they were introduced she smiled at him and whispered about how she was actually very nervous. He liked that she trusted him.
And now, three years later, Charles had not slept for five days because every time he closed his eyes and the silence and darkness of the night enveloped him, he saw her. He saw her deep gaze that hypnotized him, her full lips that screamed for him to bite them, her skin that needed his touch. Every time he closed his eyes he remembered the kiss –the kisses– that they shared that night in Australia, he remembered that things had become tense and since then she hadn’t spoken to him and if she did it was for what was necessary.
He let out a sigh opening his eyes, a few seconds later he put both fists on the mattress to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. Resting his elbows on his knees, he hid his face in his hands and let out a big sigh again. He separated his right index finger from his ring finger, leaving a gap large enough to see his phone resting on the nightstand next to the bed.
Pursing his lips and after thinking for a couple of seconds, he rushed for the device. His long, thin fingers typing rapidly on the screen that illuminated his face in the dark.
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He waited a couple of minutes for her to answer but there was no response so he got up and went to the large window that was located next to the bed, he rested his left arm on the window frame and watched the streets of Manama until a couple of knocks against the wood of the door sounded, waking him up from his thoughts. He turned away from the window and looked in the direction of the door, fiddling with his bracelets before starting to walk.
When he opened the door his breath caught in his throat, he was nervous. He had seen her in the morning because they had flown together on the team's jet but they hadn't talked much and, now, whatever he had planned to say to her she had packed her bags and run.
The girl in front of him looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow when her gaze landed on his torso. And his shirt? Where was his shirt?.
She swallowed and finally looked up at his face. Rolling her eyes as soon as she saw the mischievous smile on the Monegasque's lips, she stretched out her hand and planted it on his chest right above where his heart was and pushed him and then entered the room. She laughed silently when she saw that his smile had faded.
“Well, what did you want to talk about?” She sat on the discarded bed when he pointed at it. She bent her legs and sat on top of them, making herself comfortable while watching Charles move to a safe distance from her. The question was stupid because she knew very well what he wanted to talk about, it was very clear that they would talk about the kiss –the kisses–.
“I want to talk about what happened in Melbourne” What a surprise, Arabella thought, directing her gaze to the other side of the room. Charles looked at her, trying to read her because making her uncomfortable was what he least wanted. He pressed his lips together, making them disappear in a thin line. "Look, if you feel uncomfortable, we can...”
"No, no, no," She interrupted him, waving both hands. She nodded repeatedly. “Okay, I think we should talk too. I wanted to have told you something before but I didn't know what to say.”
She felt heat rising up her neck and quickly realized that her face had turned red. She was grateful that he hadn't turned on the lights, and it was no wonder since she was sitting next to the boy she had kissed. four in the morning in his bed while he was half naked.
If her father saw her, he would kill her.
Or worse, her grandfather.
“Do you want... to start?”
“How....?”
They both began to laugh as they spoke at the same time, a few seconds later the laughter faded with the silence and turned into smiles as they looked into each other's eyes. Leclerc let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead, still with a smile on his face and without breaking eye contact.
“I liked the kiss—the kisses” At the mention of the word kisses she hid her face in her hands in a shy manner. Charles's smile widened. "Hey, don't hide." He brought her hand to his to uncover her face. Without realizing it, he brought his body closer to hers.
She uncovered the upper half of her face, hiding her mouth on which a smile was painted, and looked at him, asking herself if what she was experiencing was real. She looked at him shyly. "I don't know what to say." She let out a nervous laugh and Charles thought she looked adorable. "This is the first time this has happened to me."
“Happened what: someone kissed you or that they tell you that they liked your kisses?” The eldest was surprised to see her shy and so nervous, it was not something typical for her. His chest swelled with pride knowing that he was the cause of it. He looked at her, raising both eyebrows. “Was I your first kiss?”
She gave a small laugh, shaking her head. “No, I don't mean that.” Oh, his chest deflated quickly. She bit her lower lip, feeling small in front of him "It's just... I haven't had much time for relationships. Boys didn't get close to me and I was too focused on the cars”
“Well, they were idiots” He took her hand and planted a light kiss on her knuckles “And don't worry, we can go slowly. No hurry.”
How ironic.
She smiled, somewhat uncomfortable because she really didn't know what to say "Eh, so what now?"
"Now I guess I tell you that I like you, that I like you since I saw you almost three years ago, but it's only been two months since I realized it and it's something I really regret." He gave her a sad smile and kissed her knuckles again.
“I like you too, Charles. I don’t know for how long, but I know I like you a lot," she responded to the smile.
Before either of them could say anything else Charles closed the distance between them and kissed her.
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Text
ONE OF THESE
Pairing: George Weasley x Fem!reader Summary: George talks about 'one of these' Warnings: mention of the war, marriage, George's lost ear
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you admired as the newly wedded couple danced their first dance
you smiled as Bill twirled Fleur around, staring at her with love
in the corner of your eye, you noticed a tall ginger step beside you, clapping along with the crowd to the music
as people began to go onto the dance floor to dance along, he leaned down to talk to you
"wanna dance?"
you looked up at him and noticed his hand outreached for you to take
you beamed as you took his hand "sure"
he took you to the dance floor and placed his hands on your hips
you lifted your arms up and rested them over his shoulders as he swayed you both to the music.
after a while of silence between the two of you, he decided to speak up
"your dress is nice"
you smiled in amusement "4 other women are wearing the same dress?"
the bridesmaid dress was a washed out type of purple-blue that matched with all the other maids.
"yeah but you look the prettiest in it" he winked
you giggled and shook your head
silence fell between you once again and his grip on your hips had all so gently tightened, barely noticable
he had been your groomsmen pair, the one you walked down the aisle with, but he was also one of your closest friends
but tonight, you didn't really feel like his friend, you're not sure what it was, but there was an awkward tension between the two of you, everything seemed a bit different.
"it's a real great wedding, yeah?" he cleared his thoat
"yeah, shame of the timing and all though, but yeah" you nodded, looking up at him, examining the bandage that wrapped around his head, covering up his 'ear' that had been blown off the night prior.
"hm, I think it's a good time, you never know what will happen" he shrugged
you considered the idea and tilted your head "good point, but then what happens if the war actually does break out and something happens to one of them? no that i think it will but-"
"-death do them part" he cut you off
you made eye contact with George when he stated that
"so, do you want one of these?" he asked curiously
"one of what?" you frowned
"weddings" he said simply
of course you did, ever since you were a little girl you had envisioned a massive wedding with the man of your dreams.
however, years later, you now doubted the existence of this dream man
"obviously, but, you know, you need to meet 'the one' first, and i'm not finding him anytime soon" you looked in the distance, at other couples dancing around you, including bill and fleur
they looked perfect for each other, they are perfect for each other
"who says you haven't already?" George insinuated
"I know I haven't" you rolled your eyes "what about you? do you want one of these?" you chuckled, teasing his wording
"of course i want to get married, but I'm afraid my future wife wouldn't want me" he smiled sadly, changing up the dancing as the song changed
"of please" you rolled your eyes "who wouldn't want you, George? you'd make a great husband, she, wherever she may be, is lucky"
he gazed down at you and smiled gently, looking at you softly
"you think so?" he questioned
"yeah" you whispered
"sorry? what was that? i can't exactly hear hear you over the music and my one ear" he lightly chuckled
you weren't there last night with him when it happened, but you were at the burrow, waiting for everyone to come home
and when you saw him come home, you almost passed out from the look of him, unconscious with blood all over him
however, you had fought the urge to throw up and ended up taking care of him.
"right, sorry" you knotted your eyebrows together, remebering the sight of him on the couch, barely awake
"so, 'the one' ay?" he queried
"what about it?" you smiled before accidentally stepped on him shoes and letting out a mumbled sorry
"do you reckon these two are each others 'the one'?" he motioned over to the newly wedded couple
"if they weren't, i don't think they'd be here now" you sighed, watching them dance happily
"well, they met when they were near our age, reckon you'll meet yours soon?" he smirked
you stepped on his shoe again and giggled
"what's the point? the war is soon, not really the time to find love" you gulped at the mention of the war, it was an understatement to say you were scared of what was nearing, but at the end of the day, it was happening no matter what, so there's no point in being terrified of your future, because it's your future.
"i think it's the perfect time, perfect time to show and tell someone you love them" he tilted his head at your comment
"oh yeah? so you're looking for your one?" you raised your eyebrows
"no need to look, i've already found them" he said simply
"oh yeah? why aren't you with her then?" you teased with a smirk
"she's not looking for love right now" he sighed
"what a shame..for you. what is she doing if she's not with you then?" you wondered as you accidentally stepped on him again
"mostly stepping on someone's shoes" he laughed lowly
"her and me both" you shook your head, obliviously
as the song changed, he took a hand off your hip and took one of your hands off hi shoulder, holding it out to the side
"yeah, that and being a bit clueless"
"clueless about what?" you looked up at him
"clueless about my feelings about her, clearly" he clicked his tongue
you licked your dry lips in thought "well maybe she does know but she hasn't said anything cause she's not looking for love right now"
he only shook his head in response before silence fell between you both once again
"no, she has no idea, even though everyone else we know tells me it's obvious" he started again hastily
"do you think she wants to know?" you questioned
"i don't know, do you think she would?" he asked back as he slowed his dancing
"well you said it yourself, you might not be able to tell her later on, so why wait? give her the love while you can" you encouraged him with a smile, feeling a tightness swell up in your stomach
"so you think i should tell her she's the one for me?" he looked into your eyes
"i do" you confirmed
"well, might wanna buckle up for this news, love" he took a deep breath
you frowned, trying to figure out what he meant by that
"i wanna have one of these with you" he motioned to the whole wedding "you're the one for me, love. i know that, 100 percent, you're my one, you are 'the one' for me, i know it"
you stopped dancing and let go of his hand, making him let go too, wondering if he messed up
"what?" you blinked
"i love you, you're the one for me and i've known that for years" he smiled sadly
"and it took you a war to admit that?" you blushed
"you never know what what will happen, i'd rather admit my feelings and something happen than never admit them and not be able to"
"if this were anyone else, i wouldn't be saying this...but i want one of these" you motioned to the wedding "with you too"
"well, i'll make sure we get one" he winked
------------------------------------------------
i don't know how i feel about this one
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ofoceansandtombsanew · 4 months
Text
Happily Unrequited
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tags: gn!reader
a/n: first writing-related post for 2024 and this idea hasn't left me alone for the past couple of days. so i figured why not make a hc post for it
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"it's okay i wasn't shooting my shot or anything. i already know you don't feel the same way, i definitely am not saying anything because i thought i was seeing signs you liked me back or anything like that. i just wanted you to know. just act the same as you usually do."
your feelings aren't requited but you're surprisingly okay with that. the real question is whether or not they are as okay with as you are.
avoids you
MEGUMI tries to treat you as normal but it starts getting into his head all the signs he's missed. it becomes blatantly obvious now that you've pointed it out. you're not flirting with him or making any moves on him, no. but now megumi hears the affectionate lilt in your tone. he sees the adoration in your eyes. it's all directed at him and he doesn't really know how to process that and still act the same. he asks you once why you wanted to tell him how you felt when he didn't feel the same way. you simply tell him "i just wanted you to know you're loved." when megumi draws back, you decide to give him space for a while to process everything. surprisingly irritated by how easily you give it to him but megumi reminds himself he placed the distance between you both first.
NOBARA you're acting normal and it's unfair. she doesn't understand how you're able to drop such a big thing on her and then continue on your merry way like it's nothing. you have to be testing her. in her mind, it becomes a competition of sorts to act more nonchalant about your confession. apparently, the best way for her to do that is by avoiding you. her friends tell her she's losing in a battle that you don't even know you're fighting. nobara doesn't want to admit herself that she is more bothered by this sudden revelation than she says she is. is doubly upset if you don't try and reach out when she avoids you and that causes her to storm over to you one day on campus about it. "i just thought you needed space so i didn't want to bother you." why is she the one loosing the idgaf war?
normal
YUUJI takes everything in stride. you're still one of yuuji's closest friends and that's what truly matters here. his love for you may be different than your love for him, but at the end of the day you both want to be in each other's life still. that's what truly counts here. very little, if anything, changes in your dynamic with yuuji. you still sleepover at each other's place, you still window shop at the mall and enable each other's dumb impulse purchases and you still text each other in class about the newest chapter of a manga you're both reading. the continued normalcy makes you feel warm and satisfied. does feel overly conscious about talking about people he is into though now that he knows how you feel for him. it's somewhat dampened by how you talk about your class and celebrity crushes around him like normal. he guesses you got over him relatively quickly then.
KENTO cool as a cucumber, he accepts your feelings in stride just as you. asks if you need space for a while but you grin and say you're fine. you confessed for the freedom and closure having made peace with everything ages ago before you said anything. "just know your loved, ken," you told him life goes on from there and you continue on your daily habits. unconsciously enjoys all the little things. he wonders occasionally how much of the minute details you remember about him are due to your affections. how you remember the exact pastries he likes. how if they stop selling at his favorite bakeries, you somehow find them somewhere else. how you always supply him with a warm cup of coffee from his cafe when he's feeling down. how on his most tired of days you supply his eyes with a nice compress from a soaked towelette. kento wonders if it is wrong for him to think it is nice to be taken care of like this even if he doesn't return your feelings.
not as normal as they expected themselves to be
YUUTA all yuuta wants is for you to be comfortable. maybe you were lying when you said you were fine. maybe you were just trying to be conscious of his feelings when you said he could act as he normally does with you. all these thoughts swirl in his head and he feels guilty when his guilt was the last thing you wanted. you're the one who was rejected, why are you the one bending over backwards for his sake? would probably try avoiding you if you didn't flick his forehead and tell him he should stop overthinking everything. also, you're pretty sure that pretty maki girl likes him. you encourage him to shoot his shot while she's still single.
SATORU normal on the outside, contemplative on the inside. because of this, satoru interacts the most with the fact you're in love with him. he asks the why, when, where as to why you fell in love with him, when you realized it, where did this all start. he doesn't ask to be cruel, satoru just genuinely wants to know. is relieved at the end of the day his lack of feeling the same way changes your friendship. he enjoys having you in his life as a friend. it catches him off guard one day when spur of the moment jealousy takes root in him when he sees you laughing your head off with someone he doesn't know. because you aren't just laughing. you're clutching your stomach, hunched over wheezing at whatever that goon just said. his eyes says you and rando are just friends. the rest of him says otherwise. "i'm the one you're in love with, right?" slips out of his mouth before he can help himself.
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copperbadge · 2 months
Note
I've finally decided to stop waiting for my friends and my schedules to all line up, and take myself on vacation. You seem to be someone who travels on your own semi-frequently. Do you have tips and tricks on how to make it less awkward on your own, or does that just not bother you?
Ah, congratulations! I hope you enjoy your solo journeying.
I have to admit that I don't get a lot of awkwardness as a solo traveler, or if I do, I don't notice. I think to begin with, in general dudes get less side-eye about doing anything solitary. I didn't even consider that traveling alone was seen as strange until I was in my thirties, I think, and other people started remarking on it -- not in an awkward way, just like "Wow I wish I could do that." (You can!)
Not everyone is comfortable with it, admittedly, and I get that, like anything it's not for everyone. And there are legit safety concerns women face that men don't, although I think also those tend to get blown out of proportion by our culture -- like the peril is real, I'm not saying women don't face safety issues when traveling solo, but the dangers aren't as constant and immediate as people think.
I just really love solo travel, because I get to do exactly what I want, eat what I want, skip things I decide I don't want to do. I'm kind of a people pleaser (this may not be news) and I don't mind doing what other folks want to do but sometimes that can come at the expense of what I want to do, which simply isn't a concern when I travel by myself.
In my experience, which is admittedly not universal, I find that there isn't really much awkwardness from solo travel most of the time -- it's harder to, for example, be in an airport alone, because there's nobody to mind your bags if you need to hit the bathroom, nobody to ask if you need something you didn't think to pack. But it's not like I've ever gotten a weird look for going through airport security alone, or checking into a hotel room alone. I think it does help to remember that people who work in hospitality have seen it ALL, and a single person checking into a hotel room doesn't even register. Like, if you aren't getting drunk and pooping in the decorative planters in the lobby, you aren't making an impression. :D Tour guides are very used to single people taking tours, and for all the train conductor or flight attendant knows, you're traveling to wherever you're going to meet up with 15 of your closest friends. Half the time I've checked into hotel rooms alone, it's been for work and I'm meeting 5-10 colleagues, and I just happen to be the first person to arrive at the site.
The only time I ever encounter much awkwardness is in a cab/rideshare, or eating alone, and even with eating alone, like, I went out to eat on my own for probably a solid decade before anyone remarked that it was a weird thing to do. But I've never particularly gotten that from waitstaff; like, occasionally I'll get a "Just one?" or "Dining alone?" but that's not really awkward, to my mind. I felt a little weird about it in Europe but that wasn't because I was solo, it was because I didn't speak the language. I was fine with it in England.
For cabs or rideshares, and this is true not just when traveling but also when I'm traveling locally in Chicago, I tend to come up with a "cover story" ahead of time in case the driver is chatty. I rarely say anymore that I work in fundraising, because while it does shut some people up (they don't want to be asked for a donation) others will be like "Hey could you fundraise for me, I have this great idea for a nonprofit knitting alpaca-wool socks...for alpacas!" and I have to be like "That's not really how this works." Usually I say I'm an art historian because a) I can fake that pretty well in casual conversation and b) nobody knows what follow-up question to ask. Academia of any kind is a great cover if you are traveling, because you can say "I'm here on business with (local museum you are visiting as a tourist) but I signed an NDA, so I can't really talk about it" and you seem mysterious plus you add excitement to the driver's day. Are you a spy? An art thief? Are you about to discover a new Van Gogh? Are you consulting with the science museum about a Bigfoot specimen?
But yeah I think the most important thing to bear in mind is that nobody really looks at other people and thinks, "That's weird, why are they alone?" Like in an ordinary day, I don't ever see a person alone on the bus or in a shop or whatnot and think, "That's weird, why don't they have someone with them?" We do tend to think people are judging us, but honestly most people aren't even noticing us, let alone forming opinions. And if they are, I think it's a great comfort to know that especially when traveling...we will never see them again :D
Anyway, good luck! Remember, even if you did forget to pack something, as long as you have your phone, your wallet, your meds, and your keys, anything else can be acquired or lived without.
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