#I’ve never received that much attention on anything before it exhausted me !

[sleepgarden-archive]

Winter transitions into Spring 🌷 The text reads:

He wakes, melting snow reveals a robin blushed chest, in his arms he bears a bouquet of sleepy tulips, healing from Winter’s last icy kiss. He forgives his thawed chamber, now nothing more than a pool at the edge of his memory, for its guiding hibernation taught him the true warmth of the sun. (MMXXIII) Hail Spring; his radiance in full bloom.

Prints on pressed flower paper are available in my shop (there’s a green option that is limited ^^) as well as lustre. If you’d like to take a look…

#this did scary well on Twitter and I’m so overwhelmed by it #I’ve never received that much attention on anything before it exhausted me ! #and so posting this a day late.. #this was ambitions for me.. I tried so many new things #I think I feel very proud of it.. #spring had me feeling very inspired and fresh minded ^^

[muzaktomyears]

Mimi's views on Cynthia:

(...) [Mimi] told me how strict John was with Julian, especially at meals. If he didn’t behave, or refused to eat something on his plate, John would have none of it and would pick him up and put him to bed in the back bedroom. Just for the record, Mimi thought it all a bit harsh but John refused to put up with bad manners. She, of course, blamed any bad manners that Julian had on Cyn, since she was with the boy 99% of the time. Mimi said his eating habits were atrocious, all sodas and candy. Not surprising, also Cyn’s fault.

---

Mimi had never really been fond of Cynthia. She felt she had chased John throughout the years, and had purposely gotten herself pregnant in order to “trick him” into marrying her. But more than Cynthia, she disliked Cynthia’s mother. Mrs. Powell was “pushy” and had to be involved in everything, according to Mimi. Even the last time we discussed the subject, she insisted that the marriage might have lasted if John and Cyn could have lived alone without her mother constantly being there. John eventually had enough and purchased a small cottage for her not far from Kenwood but Mrs. Powell insisted on spending her time at the house where she could better enjoy John’s money.

---

She told of the Art School days and the many times Cynthia would walk by the house in Woolton, hoping to see John while he would be upstairs hiding. She insisted Cyn had chased after him and had even asked Mimi for permission to marry him, when John was just 20 and would need a parent or guardian to sign for him. Mimi refused. When John did finally admit to her that Cynthia was pregnant and they would be marrying, Mimi gave it to him with both barrels. How could Cynthia know she was pregnant to soon? She would hardly be a month along. Where did they expect to live? How did he think he could support a family? On and on it went until John stormed out.

Mimi had no intention of attending the wedding and neither did anyone else in the family. The night before the wedding, John came to her in tears. He didn’t want to get married. He was too young. He had to find a way out. But even then she had no sympathy for him. He’d laid in his bed and now he had to make it.

---

(...) She did actually feel sorry for Cynthia living in the big house, more or less alone, she said. And when John wasn’t touring, he’d be working in the studio and come home exhausted. Cyn, on the other hand, wanted to go out and Mimi said she would often come downstairs dressed to the nines, looking quite lovely, and hoping for an evening on the town but John would be too tired.

Mimi warned him that he had to be more attentive to his wife.

---

[1975:]

She’d received a letter from a fan who had been visiting Cyn. “Well, she [the fan] indicated that Cyn didn’t want her address known. [She] knew but couldn’t tell me as, more or less, it was private. It irritated me. There’s no need for anyone connected with the Beatles to hide; one never hears of them, only an occasional mention. So she is quite safe. What an irritating letter to write. She could see Cyn had had her share of worry, etc. And [she] feels so bad that I don’t see Julian and no wonder Cyn wants seclusion in this world. Really such rubbish! It’s entirely Cyn’s own fault. Seclusion! Bah!”

---

[a letter dated 19th June, 1981:]

“7p.m. last night the phone went, I was half expecting an American voice, but no – It was definitely a L’pool voice. Slightly, but L’pool anyway. I knew it was not my family, we all have the similar voice. I kept saying who? Who? Who are you? Then I nearly dropped dead (kidding). The voice said ‘It’s Cyn’. I could hardly believe it. She started to tell me about Twist, marriage finished, he’d had 3 affairs, one after another. Apart from that I don’t know what the call was for. So taken aback that ME, Mimi, didn’t say anything. She would come down, see me, etc. etc. and – I’m not much wiser. Since then I’ve been so puzzled, wondering why she phoned me. I didn’t even get her phone no., or address, and no idea how to get it unless I try enquiries. She may not be under Twist… I wouldn’t put it past her to use Lennon. Think I’ll try. I want to ask her why she phoned, any reason especially. Can there be any motive? She’s determined to keep in the news one way or another. It’s puzzling, but I would not be any use to her.

“I know Cyn says she wants to hide away. God knows why. All the time she gets in touch with the press…I know she does not like [fans] and until I picked all the fan letters out of the dustbin and answered them, every fan letter was destroyed. So I answered which infuriated her, but I didn’t care. The girls got an answer. John knew nothing about it.”

(...)“Just talking to Anne [Mimi's sister]. She said ‘don’t bother finding where Cyn is. There’s some motive why she phoned after all these years. She could have phoned in Dec. And why these undying declarations of great love for John.’ If that was so, why chase the Italian, who by the way is totally ignored. She’s had 2 husbands since John. Anne feels there is money in it. Some funny business going on. I’m not interested in any money. It’s bad enough he’s gone.

“It’s not a good example to Julian to encourage him to go into pubs. He does not impress me at all. Seems lazy and aimless trying to cash in on his father’s image. John said he had no brain. Sounds as though he was right. Cyn should direct him to doing something instead of hanging around doing absolutely nothing. She trying to be the same age in outlook. It can’t be done. She’s to blame for him being aimless, but there’s no time for children when you’re looking for new husbands, and looking for a good time.”

---

We got into one of our first disagreements that night [during her 1981 visit to Mimi's house]. Talking about John and his divorce from Cynthia, she mentioned that Cyn hadn’t deserved the money he’d been forced to give her as a settlement. I believe the figure we were discussing was £150,000 and she thought that was far too much. I tried to explain that considering she’d been there from the beginning and through the lion’s share of Beatlemania, she deserved a far greater portion of his income than that. Nope. Cyn had cheated on John first, Mimi reasoned, so it wasn’t as if she’d won the pools. That was a familiar argument and I realized she was using John’s argument, almost word for word.

That’s the night she told me how John had come down to see her, and “sitting right in that chair” had told her that he had found out that Cynthia had been cheating on him with “the Italian” and he had literally cried when he said he was getting a divorce. To this day, I have no idea who cheated on whom first, but I eventually held my tongue and the £150,000 settlement dispute was eventually forgotten; at least for the time being.

---

Marie had been to Beatlefest in New York. She had phoned me while there to inform me that Cynthia was there selling copies of her art from her first book. I think this might have been the first of several trips to Beatlefest for Cyn. (…)

The only thing I remember is she called to tell me that she told Cyn that she knew the former president of the Cyn Lennon Beatle Club and did Cyn think she might ever go to Minnesota?

As I recall it, Cyn replied “Why would I ever go to Minnesota?” Well, why, indeed. Unless, of course, she wanted to continue to sell copies of old lithographs at $30 a pop.

Needless to say, Mimi didn’t take the news well at all.

“[Marie] nearly fell over herself telling me about Cyn selling at a Beatlefest or whatever you call those things. I couldn’t believe it! Whatever is she thinking?!!... It’s incredible, undignified, and degrading, to me anyway but then I’m not trying to cash in or seeking publicity. If I had been a cast off wife or mistress I think I would have kept quiet and out of sight especially with two husbands still hanging around somewhere. I’d laugh my head off if they decided to cash in as well. Heaven knows there’s no knowing what people will do for money. And they have a story as well….. Kathy, I’m half sorry for Cyn. I wonder how and what prompted her to leave herself open to criticism and remarks by people. I phoned my sister and Liela… they say she’s desperate for notice, and what’s more likely looking for another—er—husband over there. That’s the most likely place .What do you bet? Altho I hope she won’t be so silly. I don’t think she can help it. We’ll see. She could not have sold all those drawings at the exhibition, or perhaps she did more for the Beatlefest…I never saw anything arty she ever did, so have no idea…”

[A letter dated 26th October, 81:]

“I was sorry to hear Cyn was renting a table to sell things. How could she do such a thing! Joining that jamboree. It’s bound to cause some unfavourable comments. As to why, apart from the obvious. Here’s the latest rolling in millions and the first, 14 years almost after the divorce, and two further husbands (still about somewhere) renting a table to sell things – I really am sorry she did it. She was a very wealthy woman. I hope she’s still got some of it left. It makes one think she’s cashing in on the Lennon name for money. Perhaps I’m too old fashioned. Your note may have cheered her up for I can’t think she was very happy standing there, money or no money. It makes me cringe… Whatever Cyn may say I think she’s lonely and realises she was a fool… to be photographed with May Pang and I hear staying with her (if it’s true) well, it’s rock bottom. I hope she made some money to compensate her for what I think was an undignified escapade. Of course it’s only my opinion. I may be entirely wrong altogether. Better if I am wrong.”

The Guitar’s All Right as a Hobby, John, Kathy Burns (2014)

#mimi smith #cynthia lennon #a lot here #some very mimi-ish opinions #interesting because the author of the book founded the cynthia lennon fanclub and that's how she got to first meet mimi!

[whiskeynwriting]

Sloth

Dieter Bravo x Female Reader

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Word Count: 7k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) drug use, dirty talk, praise kink, tiny daddy kink, oral (m receiving), handjob, light nipple play, rimming, mentions of bisexuality, unprotected vaginal sex, cumplay, established relationship, fluffies

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A/N: co-written with @phnyx beta-read by her and @fishingforpike can’t stop won’t stop lmao

For some reason I find myself feeling incredibly iffy on this one, and I never feel this way. It could be because there’s a new element in here that I’ve never written before, or the fact that this one is a little shorter than “Pride and Envy” and “Gluttony”. Either way, I hope you enjoy my lovelies <3 don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts

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It isn’t unusual for him to be this stubborn, nor is it for him to be so self-absorbed. But in a certain sense, you were attracted to it; and in that same sense, you hated yourself for it. How can a human live in a state of perfect balance while being in such disarray? 

When you came back, you walked directly into a cloud of smoke; not exactly a rare occurrence, nor an unpleasant one. Dieter had basically hot-boxed the room, and you could care less. It’s not like it’s your house. The two of you were staying out of state for a movie he was shooting, this luxury hotel being your home until he was done with his work here. And since your job was remote, setting up shop with your laptop at cafes became your regular routine.

He’d glanced up briefly when you walked in, giving you a barely-there nod before his brown eyes returned to the magazine in his hands, likely browsing some gossipy cover. He was tired, you didn’t have to know him to know that. While lounging on the couch, he usually wore his signature pajamas, the exact outfit he slipped into every time he came back from set. Those loose, striped pj pants, that long, pukish-green robe, and a purple short-sleeved shirt. But he must not have done his laundry last night, because today, he’s wearing something different, and wearing much less.

“You were never good at these.” You tease him, sliding your tongue along the edge of the paper.

“Yeah…” He sighs, leaning further back. “Don’t know why, though.” 

Dieter had always been good at rolling joints, he just liked to watch you do it. Or rather, he liked to watch your little fingers work, your tongue sliding along the paper shortly afterwards. You have a knack for it, he’ll give you that. 

After changing into some comfier clothes, you sat on the ground between the coffee table and couch, leaning against the cushions. Dieter was lying sideways, wearing that fluffy, dark brown coat that makes him look like a giant teddy bear, and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. The edges of it hang off his sides, draping onto the couch. The only other thing he’s wearing besides his jewelry is an incredibly old pair of dark gray boxers, short enough for you to see his teeny elephant tattoo. Reaching out, you gently poke it, tracing it with your fingernail. And it makes him giggle.

“Quit it.” He says playfully, smiling. He’s so ticklish.

But you still sigh, aggravated with him. You’d been asking him for attention, any kind of sexual or romantic touch, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood today. Now, don’t get him wrong, Dieter was just as sex crazed as he always was; he could never get enough. If he had the energy, he’d fuck you on the couch right now. It’s the fact that he’s so incredibly tired from his day, so exhausted that he’s unwilling to even try. Dieter had so many talents and knowing how to please you was definitely one of them. But on his lazier days, he just didn’t feel like using them.

“Dieter, please.” You beg, whining beside him as you hand him the joint.

Happily, he takes it, immediately lifting it to his lips with the lighter already lit in his other hand. His lips connect once on the bud resting on his lower lip, inhaling deeply.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” It comes out as a small whimper, even though you don’t mean it to. But it makes him look over at you, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. 

The joint held between Dieter’s lips continues smoking from the end, now setting down the lighter he’d just used. With a heavy sigh and a small grunt, he changes his positioning, now sitting up to address you.

“Of course I am.” He reassures you in that gravely baritone; oh, he really is so tired today, isn’t he? 

Giving him your best innocent eyes, you then ask, “Then why don’t you want me?”

It’s the funniest thing, you being aroused by him right now. You came home to a completely baked, slightly buzzed, entirely soft Dieter. The man looked like he hadn’t showered since he’d been home nor washed his clothes in days. His hair is a mess, his outfit is ridiculous, and his surroundings couldn’t be messier. But to you, this was Dieter. Chaotic, lazy, disheveled Dieter. He’s your baby boy, your puppy dog, your big teddy bear. And even though he didn’t always take care of himself, he always made sure to take care of you.

“Oh kitten,” Dieter lifts a hand to run it over his face, releasing another heavy groan of a sigh. “I’m too tired. Don’t you know aallll I do in a day?”

He looks down to see you pouting, and you’re not faking it, either. “Sweetie,” He continues softly, “I had four fittings today, I’m exhausted! A star like me needs his time to relax, not do anything.” He waves a flimsy hand in the air, taking another puff of weed. 

“You never do anything,” You mumble, glancing down while twiddling your fingers. “Not when you’re home. Not with me.”

“You know that isn’t true.” He furrows his brows at you, exhaling the smoke. 

“Not lately.” You reply in that same mumbly tone. 

“I fucked you last night, sweetheart.” Leaning down, he gently taps your chin with his thumb. “Remember when I made you drool?”

You do remember, you remember it all too well. Dieter had you from behind, pinned down beneath his weight with a fist in your hair. Your knuckles still ache from how hard you were clutching your shared bedspread, your throat still a little hoarse from how many times he’d slid down the length of it. It also didn’t help that you were moaning for two-plus hours. 

“Baby,” Comes your sudden gasp of a whine. “I want it, I want it again.” 

Sure, Dieter was sex-crazed. But you could be, too.

“Dammit kitten,” He chastises gently, “You can be such a needy little thing.” 

Usually when he says you’re needy, it means he’s going to take advantage of it. But not this time. 

Laying back to breathe in the smoke once again, he sighs. “Can’t be bothered; daddy’s tired.” 

“Dee,” Comes your second whine of the night, that small word a reference to more than just his given name. 

Your head is leaning against the couch cushion, resting just beside his outer knee. Reaching between his legs, you slide your hand along his inner thigh, smoothing your palm over the center of his boxers. Looking over his form, you eye his jewelry, his tattoos, the sight of them making your throat feel dry, a tingle shooting through your thighs. And he hums out a gravely sigh.

“You want it that bad, huh?” Dieter then asks, a lazy eyebrow raised. Your eyes meet his, nodding just a little for him. 

The space beneath your palm rises just the slightest bit, hardening from your touch. While keeping his gaze, you smile. He’s so easy to excite. 

“Well,” He sighs, shrugging while giving you a teasing grin. “If you want it so bad, you’ll have to do it yourself, kitten.” 

In all honesty, Dieter isn’t sure what you’ll do with this proposal. Will you huff and walk away? Touch yourself in the bedroom until you’re satisfied? Or will you stay frustrated with him, waiting until late in the night or early tomorrow when he’ll likely want to fuck? Lucky for him though, he’s pleasantly surprised. 

“You want me to do the work today, baby?” You then ask, giving his semi a little squeeze. “Hm?”

“Oh…” Mouth dropping open, he nods. For a second there he really thought he wasn’t getting any tonight. “Hell yeah I do.” With a smile on his face, he wiggles his hips on the cushions, eagerly awaiting your next move.

“Huh,” You tut, clicking your tongue while staring up at him. “You sure seem to have some energy now.”

“Well,” He shrugs, rolling his eyes with a grin. And then he shifts again, situating his legs on either side of you. You laugh.

“You don’t even know what I’m about to do!”

“I know what I want you to do.”

“Selfish.” You roll your eyes, only partly joking. But he’s right, you were heading in this direction. 

“Yeah, but you like it.” He shrugs again, leaning even further back. 

God dammit, how could one man be so lazy yet so cocky? Although, when Dieter wasn’t feeling lazy, he had the ability to make you absolutely dumb, just like he did last night. He fucked you until you couldn’t take it anymore, until you were a babbling, compliant mess beneath him. So, maybe you can return the favor today.

Reaching up, Dieter takes a hold of his joint between two thick fingers, watching you from above. His lips connect briefly, sucking in before blowing out a small cloud of smoke. He does it while settling further back against the couch, spreading his legs a little wider for you. Slowly, your hands trailing up his calves, his thighs, fingertips squeezing the meat of them gently. When your tongue pokes out, wetting your lower lip, Dieter’s head rolls to the side, a sluggish smile crawling across his face. 

“Yeah…” Comes his heavy sigh, jaw dropping just slightly while he watches you move. 

By now, he’s fully hardened beneath your touch. The thought of sex alone was enough to get him riled up. While slipping your fingers over the edge of his boxers, tugging them down ever so slightly, he leans over to put out the bud in the nearest ashtray to his side. While reaching for another joint, one he’d rolled quite loosely, he lifts his hips for you, allowing you to slide his boxers all the way down to his feet. And as you follow them down, you give him kisses, placing your lips on the softness of his thighs, that delicate little elephant tattoo, trailing down to his calves, and sighing while you do. 

“Oh, baby…” It comes out as a quiet whine, looking up to watch his chest rise as he inhales deeply. 

Seeing Dieter naked, or in this case nearly naked, was always so satisfying to you. It was like a breath of fresh air, seeing the man that you love like this, completely bare for you. And honestly, Dieter had reason to be cocky. He was uncut, and while that may not be to everyone’s taste, it genuinely made you drool. The length of him was average, but his girth certainly was not. And you loved how thick he was, every inch of him filling you entirely and dragging pleasurably against your walls. 

“I love when you do this, baby.” He mutters, releasing a short grunt when you grip him gently. 

“Yeah?” Glancing up to meet his eyes, you lay out your tongue on the underside of him. 

Those sweet, brown eyes go soft upon seeing your beautiful face, your pretty mouth starting to go down on him. You slide your tongue up his shaft, watching him sigh while you look into his eyes. It’s done loosely, dragging his foreskin upward as you do it. But then you pull it back, looking down at his reddened head to flick your tongue across his slit. 

“Fuck me,” He moans, joint hanging on his bottom lip.

The curve of Dieter’s belly rises and falls, his hazy mind already swimming with bliss. He watches you lean up onto your knees, angling your head downward and allowing a trail of spit to fall onto his tip. With a smile on your face you pull his foreskin back, watching your saliva roll down his shaft. It’s not long after that that you take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his crimson head. 

“Oh,” He chokes, feeling your tongue slide over his delicate skin. 

Whenever you went down on Dieter, you made sure to go slow. To say the least, the man could cum quick. And you weren’t sure if he’d be up for round two tonight, so you make sure to take your time. 

Amidst his hazy state, Dieter’s head lolls to the side, eyes falling on the mirror not too far from him. The hotel you’re staying in is decorated lavishly, almost gaudy in appearance. And the six-foot mirror facing him is no different. While gazing into it, he smirks, watching as you go down on him. Jesus Christ, he loves this. He can see your pretty frame resting on your knees for him, nestled between his spread legs. And while watching your reflection, he pets at your hair, brushing some of it aside. You really were willing to do anything for him; and he doesn’t even need to work for it. 

Closing your eyes as you begin to work, you keep your fingers circled around his base, sliding him further and further into your mouth. Before allowing him into your throat you move up, tonguing his tip before swallowing him again. And while he’d sat up entirely straight at first, he now allows himself to relax, resting back against the couch and letting his head fall back. His dominant hand allows him to smoke, the other one landing on the top of your head. And although he’s too tired to put any real effort into this moment, when you reach his base, he still holds your head down so you can choke on him. 

This is when you gag, your movements graceful until now. Drool begins to drip from your mouth, wetting the longer hairs scattering his pelvis. He never kept himself trimmed, and for some reason, you kind of like it. 

“That’s it, kitten.” He grumbles, lifting his head to look down at you. “Such a messy girl for me.” 

Dieter’s mouth drops open just a little bit, the joint hanging on his lips when you gag again. But you stay down for him, you always do. And when he finally allows you to move you shoot backward, gasping for air. All he does is smile, taking in another puff of smoke. He inhales sharply, almost a hiss, before blowing the small cloud out of the side of his mouth. 

“You’re always so good at it.” Then he gives you a single nod. “Do it again, will you, kitten?” 

More than eager to comply, you go down again, taking him in one swallow and feeling the couch rock as his head thumps back against the top of it. He groans heavily, leaving the joint on his lips and bringing his other hand down to your head. Those talented fingers intertwine with your hair, scratching your scalp gently. And when you moan around him he pulses against your tongue, his hips shuttering ever so slightly. 

In the back of your mind, you’re thinking about what you can do for him, what will feel best, what he’ll enjoy most. Oftentimes, you thought about his other relationships, the ones before you. You considered what they brought to him, sexually and otherwise. It was like a challenge to you, and so far, you could do everything they did and more. And according to Dieter, you did it better than them, too. But there’s one thing you haven’t done that is currently popping into your mind…

From the angle you’re at, you can see him perfectly, his entire body. One thing Dieter certainly did not have was shame. Since the first night you slept together, he was all in. He spread his legs wide when you first went down on him, and this time is no different. Only now, you can see his sex entirely, his full length laying on his belly when you released him, his scrotum resting beneath the thickness of him… and that forbidden little space you’ve yet to befriend. Maybe he’d enjoy that. 

“Uh-huh,” He nods, the sound coming from his open mouth. He’s watching you move up and down, slowly twisting your hand beneath your mouth. 

Your tongue wiggles on the underside of him as you continue to bob up and down, moaning when you can and breathing through your nose. But the size of him sometimes made even that difficult. Dieter likes to see you struggle to take him though, his chest sighing out heavy breaths while you drool around him, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. 

“No, no,” He protests, urging you back down. 

“Sh…” You’ve lifted yourself from him, giving another ounce of spit before wrapping your entire fist around him. 

With excitement tingling in your belly, you lower yourself just a bit. You wonder how this will go. Will he like it? Will you? He’s talked about past partners doing it before, but never once did it cross over to you. And on the opposite end of this, Dieter’s done it to you, and you want to make him feel just as good. 

So you don’t give him too big of a surprise, you start out gentle, slowly making your way down. Your lips fall to his balls, licking and mouthing at them while he moans. And while you’re doing this, you jerk him off with firm, languid tugs. Inch by little inch, you creep down, your tongue sliding lower and lower while you continue to lick him. And above you, Dieter barely notices. All he’s registering is the euphoria flowing effortlessly through his brain. 

“Hm…” The hum you exude shivers directly through his center, the muscles in his thighs tensing from it. You notice this, lifting your free hand to massage the sweet meat of his upper legs, feeling him relax even further under your touch. 

Landing on the relatively smooth space between his scrotum and cheeks, you give him time to adjust, that is, if he’s even noticing. Moving your hand up to his tip, you give it a gentle squeeze, earning an unruly, erotic cry from him. He loves to be teased. And it’s in this exact moment that you make your first swipe, your tongue sliding along the tighter muscles you’ve yet to explore. 

“Uh-ugh,” Comes his punched out gasp, eyes shooting open to look down at you. 

At first, his reaction makes you nervous, an intense heat washing your entire body with anxiety. But you don’t stop, you just keep yourself there, meeting his gaze. He’s panting now, but he doesn’t say anything. So, experimentally, you do it again.

“Oh my god.” He babbles loosely from his mouth, fingers taking hold of the blunt he’d been smoking. He lets his forearm land on the armrest of the couch, letting the bud simmer between his fore and middle fingers. 

Again, another swipe, deeper this time. Your hand is still working him, and this is when you get a definitive answer on whether or not he’s enjoying this surprise. His head falls back again, a guttural groan released from his throat. Almost of their own volition, his legs spread even wider, hips lifting up a little higher. 

Wow, he really does want this.

“Y-Yeah…” Dieter stutters out a sigh, mouth falling agape while his head continues to lay back. 

“Mm,” Comes your enticed moan, excited now that you’ve been given full permission to do this.

When Dieter moved his legs wider for you, it allowed you to see more of him, too. His cheeks separated that much more, allowing you to wiggle in even closer to the space between his legs. This time, you go in slowly, sliding your tongue up the entirety of his hole. You can feel his tight muscles twitch beneath you, your free hand now dropping to his right cheek. Grabbing him, you open him even wider, feeling his cock throb in your hand. 

“W-What,” Dieter lifts his head, confused when you pull away. “What’re you doing?”

Reaching behind your back, you find the coffee table, pulling it closer to the couch. And then you look up at him, sliding both hands over his thighs. 

“Put your feet on the coffee table, baby.” All he can do is stare dumbly at you. “Let me lick you.” 

“Fuck me…” 

As if he’s too high to even move, you help him, leaning down to lift one foot onto the small table while he moves the other. Now, he’s got his thighs on either side of your head, both of his hands falling to the couch cushions as he searches for something to grab. He doesn’t let go of his joint, though, in fact, when you return to your work, he takes another breath. 

Looking back into the large mirror behind you, he grins breathlessly, watching you perform this new act for him. It’s so fucking sexy, watching you do this to him. The sight of it makes his muscles clench, your groan shivering through his hips. 

“Baby… yeah…” He moans deeply from above, pinching his eyes shut when you begin to lick him deep. “Just like that, oh yeah… that’s so good…” 

He’s twitching in your hand and pulsing against your tongue, the sensations almost too much for him to handle. And still he sits back, watching you do everything for him. The hand you’re not using to jerk him off wraps around his thigh, keeping him close, and he moans when you drag your nails across his sensitive skin. Every now and then your nose nudges his balls and it makes his head fucking spin. He can’t believe you’re doing this, he can’t believe you’re doing this for him. 

“B-Baby,” You continue to lick him, even through his passionate whines. His stomach and legs flex around you, his toes curling, his teeth digging into his lower lip. “That, that feels so good, you don’t even know…”

Dieter’s praise made you the happiest woman in the world. He was so much more experienced than you, so to know that even through the multitude of men and women he’s slept with, that he wants you… it was a feeling you couldn't even fathom until he gave it to you.

His hips push up, shoving his fluttering hole closer to you, wanting you to have the best access to him, all of him. And this is so beyond sexy to you, to hear him fall into a whiny, moaning mess from you licking his little hole while jerking him off. You never expected it to be so thrilling for you, too, the entirety of your being fizzling with excitement and adrenaline. 

While you’re tonguing his hole, prodding gently into the taut little ring, he looks up. He’s breathless when he speaks, his chest fucking heaving. “You look so good like this…” His voice is hoarse, and he clears it, swallowing briefly. “So pretty like this, kitten.” 

Your open-mouthed moan makes him whine, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip when he feels your own circle his asshole. And you grin at this, giving a small giggle from beneath him. 

“Still feeling too lazy for this, Dee?” You’re mumbling over his slicked-up skin, eyes flickering up to meet his.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop.” He immediately grits out, shaking his head. “Keep going, please keep going.” 

Closing your eyes once again, you let yourself dive in, moving your tongue incessantly against him. It’s grown sloppy, your motions erratic and almost frenzied. And he’s enjoying every fucking minute of it. When you let go of him, intending to bring your hand down to fondle his balls, he reaches out for you.

“No,” He begs, bringing your hand back up to him. “Keep your hand there.”

But then he doesn’t leave. He wraps his own hand around yours, the both of you jerking him off while he now thrusts up into your hold. It makes you gasp, seeing him this turned on by what you’re doing to him. Helplessly, he ruts up into your hand, keeping his grip on yours tight so the pressure feels just right for him.

“Yes, yes!” He nearly wails, and before you can say anything, before you can pull away and make him wait, he cums. 

It shoots all over his belly, some spouting all the way up to his chest. It comes out in gooey spurts, hot and sticky as it litters his skin. You moan while watching him, his head falling back while his eyebrows furrow, eyes pinching shut while his mouth tries desperately to hold onto the joint he’d been smoking. But he wants to open his mouth fully, wants to moan out wantonly. And while you’re enjoying the show of Dieter making a mess of himself, you continue tonguing him, rolling the wet muscle along the rim of his hole over and over again. It’s shocking, how much he cums, the amount of it sliding down his sides just a bit. That’s a shame, you wanted it in your mouth. 

“Oh my god,” He huffs out, chest heaving with desperate attempts to try and catch his breath. “Holy fuck.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dieter nods breathlessly, shaking his head quickly in response. He closes his eyes, repeating himself before his dry lips meet with a swallow. And you can see him start to relax. He reaches to the side, grabbing the blunt he’d left in the tray as he returns to lay on his back along the couch. 

“Dieter,” Your whine makes his eyes snap open, head turning to the side. “I want more.” Your chest is heaving, you can’t help but beg. You do want more, you want more of those whines, more of those grunts, more his beautifully erotic expressions.

“Ride me,” He blurts out. “Fuck, ride me.” 

Immediately, you rise to your feet, shimmying out of the shorts you’d pulled on when you came home. You slide your panties off alongside them, now climbing on top of him. There’s a dirty shirt laying on the ground that you quickly grab, using it to wipe off his tummy. 

“You miss me? Huh?” 

You toss the shirt to the floor, placing your hands on his chest to lean forward. 

“Yes baby, I don’t ever get enough of you. You’re always gone, Dee, I miss you.” 

“Then show me,” He swallows again, steadying his breaths. “Show me how much you miss me, kitten. Maybe it’ll make me stay home for you.” 

He’s still hard beneath you, feeling the delicate skin of your lips rest on top of his shaft. Again, he keeps the joint between his lips, both hands reaching to squeeze your hips. And when he does, you lift yourself, keeping your eyes on his beautiful face while you position him. Dieter’s eyes are trained elsewhere, though, he’s gawking at the space where the two of you will connect. 

“Dee…” It’s an exasperated sigh, huffed out as you sink down. He stretches you wide, painfully so, your walls throbbing around him from the intrusion only when he’s halfway inside. 

He feels it, of course he does. “Fuuuck…” he groans, mouth hanging open. 

The small wiggle you give your hips when you’re entirely seated on him makes him grin. He releases a short and quiet giggle, one hand rising to trail up your torso.

“Take off your shirt.” He gently orders, eyes fixated on your covered chest. “Let me see your tits.”

You do as he says while forming a smile on your face. “Who’s needy now?” 

Dieter laughs, a cocky half-smirk on his face. “You know you love me.” 

As soon as it's off, those two large hands move to paw at your chest, cupping you gently before digging his fingers in. He holds them while you start to move, swaying your hips. 

“Oh, kitten,” He sighs, releasing your breasts. His dominant hand returns to his lips, taking a puff before removing the blunt. The other falls to his stomach, lazily brushing the pads of his fingertips across one of his nipples. “You really needed it today, huh?” 

“Mhm,” Nodding, you whine, too, closing your eyes as you move. “I need you, I need you, baby.”

“I’m here, kitten.” He coos to you, inhaling another deep breath of smoke. “I’m here.” 

Looking down, you’re met with the beautiful sight of the incredibly chaotic man you’ve chosen to love. He looks so scruffy right now, his hair a big mess and his cheeks littered with short, unruly strands. He looks so good below you, his curvy body moving slightly every time you rut yourself against him. 

You’re going slow, enjoying every moment of it, enjoying the stretch and your gentle sighs. When your head dips back, your lips parting to release a moan, Dieter reaches up to lazily grab your left breast, jiggling it in his hand as he grins. 

“Perfect,” He mumbles over the blunt he’s holding between his lips, still teasing his nipples. 

He rocks back and forth with every one of your gentle thrusts, and he’s so tired that all he can do is smile; he can’t even thrust. Besides, he likes seeing you take the reins like this. He’s surprised by how much you’re willing to do for him.

“Oh, fuck.” Out of seemingly nowhere, you change your pace, slapping your ass down onto his groin. He grunts out, eyebrows furrowing as you bring him a much quicker dose of bliss. 

“Dieter…” You moan, fingernails digging into his chest. 

You’re taking what you want from him, the languid pace you once created floating away like dust in the wind. You’ve wanted to fuck this lazy bastard all day, and you’re going to do it your way. And Dieter couldn’t love it any more than he currently does, he feels like a fucking god right now. Just sitting back, watching this beautiful woman grind on top of him while he gets high. 

He’s giving you little grunts and moans, his mouth hanging open as he breathes heavily. And he just stares at you, eyes flickering back and forth from your face to your tits to your gorgeous cunt as it takes him. His eyebrows furrow in disbelief, finding himself feeling lucky. You treat him so well. You always come home with a smile on your face, never forgetting to give him a kiss and a hug. Every day, you ask about the set, how filming is going, inquiring about how he feels about the script. If you’re not taking care of ordering the food, you’re preparing it, if you’re not making arrangements for your suite to be cleaned, you’re doing it. And by far the most impressive thing you do, is you manage to love him; even through all his shit, through his attitude and addictions. He should really learn to appreciate you more. 

“Baby,” You whimper for him, knowing how much he likes it. Biting down on your lower lip, you wiggle down onto him, feeling him pulse inside. 

“Fuck, you look so good like this.” He says with a breath of amazement. “I love when you’re on top of me.”

“Yeah? Even when you’re too tired to have me?”

“I might be tired, but I’m glad you aren’t.” He grins, that lazy, cocky smirk never ceasing to stir arousal within you. 

“Hm…” It’s a hum, an enticed one. “You like it, daddy? You like when I do this to you?”

“Oh kitten, you know I do. You’re so perfect, doing this for me…” 

Releasing a contented sigh, your head tilts back, and he wishes he could kiss your throat. But there’s no way in hell he can lean up that far right now. Not when he’s high and getting fucked out of his mind. 

Dieter’s eyes fall to the area behind you, zoning in on the reflection of your ass bouncing down against him. You’re such a sexy little thing, your entire body moving over his, always doing your best to please him. Your skin looks so smooth, is so smooth, the dips and curves of your physique was something that caught his eye immediately. Honestly, he can’t help but look at himself, too. Every time you lift yourself, he can see his cock slide almost all the way out of you before you’re plummeting down onto him again, his scrotum bouncing slightly from your forceful movements. The thick meat of his thighs jiggle beneath your own, your hips relentless in their search for his high. 

Eyes rolling back, they finally close, a low and guttural moan coming from his throat. “You’re gonna make me cum.”

“Again?” You couldn’t be happier to hear him say this. You love it when he cums more than once. 

“Again.” Dieter answers you, breath continuing to leave him. His eyes are still closed, his head nodding sluggishly. “Make me cum, please kitten. Please make me cum.”

“Mm… where are you gonna cum, baby? Inside me?”

“No,” You knew he’d answer this way. “Gonna pull out.” 

There was a very specific way Dieter went about cumming when you rode him. It’s not that he didn’t love cumming inside you, he definitely did. Oftentimes, he’d lick it out of you. But when you rode him, he liked to pull out and jerk himself off against your ass. It oozes out of him, spilling over his hand. And right after he’d bring it to his lips so he could taste it. 

“Oh,” He whines, his neck straining and veins protruding. “Fu-uck.”

Smiling down at him, you reach around, your dominant hand finding his scrotum. You cup him gently, fingers fondling the delicate skin as he nears his high. This is when he ruts up into you, the only time he’d done so tonight. His hips move of their own volition, punching up inside your core before his hands fly to wrap around your back, hauling you down to his chest. You squeal quietly as he does it, hands wrapping around his neck. You duck your face down to his shoulder, fingernails and teeth scraping along his throat. And while you’re busy doing this, he reaches down, pushing you further up on his chest so he can pull out of you. Forcefully, his fingers wrap around his shaft, tugging his cock harshly beneath your ass. Every time his fist moves up his knuckles graze the plumpness of your backside, helping to height his orgasm. 

The sticky-whiteness of it washes your skin, wet globs littering your ass and dripping down onto his hand. Since this is the second time he’s cum, there isn’t as much as the first time, but it doesn’t matter, not to either of you. He groans harshly when he feels your pretty lips kissing his tawny skin, your wondrous tongue poking out to lay over his neck. By the way you’re nipping at him, he knows hair and makeup will have to cover the hickeys up in the morning. And you like knowing that. 

“Fuck, fuck,” His hand moves frantically, milking himself of every drop he can give. 

Graceful fingertips pet over the hair scattering those squeezable cheeks, your nose running along the curve of his jaw. His eyes are pinched shut, lips parted as he revels in this. You lift your face just enough to give his cheek a kiss, smiling and humming against him. With his breaths picking up he removes his hand, lifting it to his face. He looks at the whiteness of himself coating every single knuckle, groaning quietly. Dieter then brings his knuckles closer, his tongue poking out to lick it off of his skin. 

“You love doing that, huh baby?” You grin against him, lightly scratching his scruff. 

He doesn’t answer you, he just brings his fingers to your lips. Looking to the side, he watches you take them in, tasting not only the remnants of his orgasm but his spit, too. Slack-jawed and staring, he can’t take his eyes off you. When he takes his fingers out of your mouth you reach up to keep him close, sliding your tongue through the mess of him. 

“I love you,” Comes his airy yet guttural admission. “I fucking love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.” You’re happy to hear him say it after missing him all day. 

“I’m sorry,” He’s still breathing heavily, trying to calm his breaths. “I don't,” Then he swallows, his clean hand rising to hold the back of your head when you snuggle against him. “I don’t treat you like I should.”

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows. “You take care of me.”

“More like you take care of me.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” You admit with a laugh. “But I know you love me, Dee.” 

“I really hope you do.” Dieter sighs below you, his body firm, steady. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. You’re my person, baby.” 

Lifting your head, you stare down at him. “Baby, why are you so worried?”

“I just don’t want to lose you,” Dieter clears his throat, those warm brown eyes looking up sweetly at you. “And I know I will if I act like an ass.” 

“Well, don’t be an ass.” Shrugging, you playfully grin. “And you won’t lose me.”

But Dieter doesn’t smile, he isn’t joking. 

“I know you get tired baby, and you do deserve to relax. You work hard.” Well, as hard as he can on the set of Cliff Beasts Seven. Honestly, the better description would be he has hard days, long days. Dieter wasn’t necessarily putting his best foot forward to uphold his career. But he didn’t really have to. He did what he wanted, and honestly, people loved him for it. 

“You don’t get sick of me?” He’s feeling insecure about this. He knows he can be a lot. 

“Sure I do, sometimes I get really aggravated with you.” Honesty was always important between the two of you. “But I don’t ever stop loving you baby, and that’s what matters most to me.” 

For a moment, Dieter just looks at you. “I’m gonna marry you one day.” 

“Yeah? Is that a promise?” 

“A big fucking promise.” He nods, pulling you down to kiss you. And you smile into it, happy to be in the relationship that you’re in. You know you have something so many people want, not only a celebrity but a man who’s willing to love you through anything. And Dieter’s more than aware of how lucky he is to have you. Sexy, funny, incredible you.

When you climb off of him, retrieving your shirt and shorts, you get a rag so he can clean up. You bring him a clean pair of boxers and a hoodie of his that you’d found in your shared room, his brown fuzzy jacket now ruined. But he can get it dry cleaned no problem. 

“What do you feel like ordering tonight?” You ask, phone in hand. 

“Pizza?”

“We had pizza last night.” 

“Yeah,” He widens his eyes, rolling them. “Because it’s good.” 

Shaking your head with a cheesy grin on your face, you order your boyfriend what he wants. These were your usual nights, ordering in, cuddling, and turning on a movie. Oftentimes, they were documentaries. Dieter didn’t like movies that much, he sees enough actors on the daily. He knows most of them, too. They’re colleagues to him, not interesting celebrities he looks up to. Tonight, he picks out a documentary about the Amazon, grinning like a little kid when the koalas come on. 

“You want one.” 

“Sure,” You let him light the blunt for you, leaning on him while tugging a blanket over the two of you. 

“You wanna do LSD?” He then asks, glancing down at you. “I got some new ones.”

“You know, for one night I’d like to not trip balls.”

“Yeah okay, fine.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, and it makes you grin. Dieter slouches beside you, leaning on your body and wrapping both arms around you. 

“What time do you need to be on set tomorrow?”

He groans, running a hand over his face. “Eight fucking am.”

“Damn,” He responds with a disgruntled I know. 

Lucky for the two of you, tomorrow is a Friday, and thank fuck he has the weekend off. Maybe he’ll take you out to dinner, maybe even go to a club or two. Those nights are always fun with him. Honestly though, every night spent with Dieter was a fucking blast. If you stayed in, you’d both blare music till the sun comes up, drinking the night away while you sing happily. Those are the nights you’d usually do LSD. Those are also the nights he tells you about his craziest sex fantasies. But if you went out you got the chance to be spotted by the paparazzi, something you honestly both love. What can you say? You’re attention whores. 

“Well, you wanna shower together before bed? I can make you all soapy…” You run a hand down his belly, now full of pizza and pop. “Get you nice and tired so you can sleep like a baby.” 

“I’m already exhausted, but you know I like a challenge.” 

In his own head, he’s already planning out the weekend he’s going to give you. He’s considering booking a short vacation, take some time off and get a breather from set. Maybe he’ll bring you to Venice for a few days, make you cum in as many Italian cities as he can. He knows you’d like that. 

#Dieter Bravo #Baby #My soft teddy bear #I love you so much #Ugh #Dieter Bravo x you #Dieter Bravo x reader #Dieter Bravo x female reader #Dieter Bravo smut #Dieter Bravo fanfiction #Pedro Pascal #The Bubble #Kinktober #Kinktober 2022 #Sintober #Sintober 2022

[officialchristiancagebbgirlblog]

Punishment

Fic type: smut

Word count: 4281

This, I think, is the longest fic I’ve ever written holy shit. I’m not lying when I say this took days to write. I hope you guys enjoy!

You tease Christian from home while he’s out only to receive your punishment when he returns

Mention of: blindfolds, creampie.

Link to masterlist

Happy reading 🩷

“Are you sure you can’t finish early?” You pleaded on the phone. Being stuck in your shared hotel room while Christian was stuck at work training for an upcoming PPV was your least favourite part of travelling with him.

“No, honey, I have to keep going for another few hours, and then I’ve got a meeting about my match. I won’t be back until at least half 8?” You could hear the sadness in his voice; it bummed him out to know he had to keep going before he could be back in bed with you.

You sighed to yourself trying not to let it get to you, saying your goodbyes shortly after. Sure, it was only like 3 hours you had to wait but it didn’t change how much it sucked. He had already been gone since lunchtime for various interviews, work events. And at that point in the evening, you had exhausted all the channels on the television so nothing was grabbing your attention to keep you busy. All you could do was lay there on the bed and stare at the ceiling.

After what felt like 2 and a half hours but was only 1, you were still laying there. Not moving. Trying to come up with something, anything to entertain yourself:

“I could listen to some music!” You thought to yourself,

No. There weren't any songs that you could think of.

“I could go for a walk?”

But that involved dressing up. You were quite comfortable in your lingerie. Plus the weather wasn’t ideal…

“I could FaceTime my friends?”

Nah, they were going to be busy at this time for sure.

“I could maybe…have some fun? By myself?”

Absolutely not! Christian had made it very clear to never do that without his presence!

“I could…

I could tease him. Teach him a lesson for leaving me here with nothing to do!”

It was perfect. Show him what he was missing out on! You knew it wasn’t entirely fair on him as he didn’t have a choice. He had to be there today. But fuck that! He should know better than to leave you on your own.

But how to do it? You were already dressed in the right attire so there was no need to get up and put something on. Just imagining his reaction was enough to get your mind racing and it wasn’t too long before you picked your phone up again to start your photography session.

Taking a mix of photos and videos, you adjusted yourself into various positions so he could get a good look at your soft, warm body without revealing too much. You had to keep him hooked after all! It’s no fun if he saw everything through his phone screen!

It was daring, exciting to partake in this activity. The idea that he had to hide his excitement from others was exhilarating and you ate it right up. Perhaps the most daring thing, though, was the final video you sent to him where you lost control. All the photos that came out nice had been received, seen, and salivated over by him with red cheeks and a desperation to keep people from looking at his phone or asking him questions.

You got yourself all worked up that you forgot about his rule: no masterbation without his presence. So when you shot the video of your fingers under the soaked cotton of your underwear and hit send, the realisation hit 30 seconds too late of what you had gotten yourself into. Not only was it bad enough you took the video and actually sent it to him but he had seen it within seconds. Which of course meant you couldn’t delete it now. There was no hiding evidence.

7:45pm rolled around and you knew you were in trouble when he returned and didn’t give you the usual chipper smile and bountiful kisses all over your face. Instead when he entered the room, he stood at the foot of the bed with a growling frown. His cheeks were pink, his eyebrows were furrowed in an angry concentration, and his tight trousers proudly displayed his love to you. You should have been apologising, explaining yourself somehow. But the way the denim curved around his surely leaking cock was so distracting that you barely even noticed he took a hold of your ankles and pulled you down the bed.

Yelping as you were forced to sit upright at the foot of the bed, he placed two fingers on his right hand under your chin and forced your face upwards to look him in the eyes.

“You’ve been such a bad girl tonight,” he rasped with a slight upwards curl on the corner of his mouth, “I think you deserve to be punished for what you did tonight.”

Christian took a step forward closer to your face with his legs either side of you, trapping you in place. Not that you had any intentions of moving, however the idea that you couldn’t escape your fate was so delicious. He slowly started to unbuckle his belt making sure to take his sweet time. The leather squeaked slightly when he pulled it out of the hoops, and the metal played a sweet sound as it loosened and finally unbuckled. He took a step back as he worked on the zip of his trousers and finally the button, wasting no time in removing the clothing from his legs entirely. And there he stood before you. Tight black boxers hugged his hairy yet soft thighs, his cock even more prominent.

“Use your teeth.”

His tone was harsh, but his voice was soft and deep. You maintained eye contact with him as you leant forward towards the waistband with your mouth agape. You couldn’t help but giggle as he shivered to the feeling of your lips making contact with his body. Just as slowly as he removed his belt, you carefully took the fabric between your teeth and began to inch it down his long slender legs. He watched you the entire way down biting on his bottom lip to stop any pleas to go faster from slipping out. If the shiver wasn’t good enough, hearing him gasp in pleasure as his cock sprang free, slapping against his stomach surely did the job at soaking your panties.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his boxers pooled around his ankles and he eagerly stepped out of them. Now kneeling on the carpet in front of him, he pulled you back up onto the bed. It was a far better view for him. Plus he wanted to know exactly where your hands were at all times. He couldn’t have you touching yourself now could he? Certainly not after your behaviour up until that point!

Taking hold of his now throbbing cock he took hold of your chin with his thumb and finger. With a devious smirk, he forced you to open your mouth wide for him. You stuck your tongue out for him to place the head on so you could begin relieving him. Beads of precum had formed at the tip just begging to be lapped up and tasted by you. And you were all too happy to oblige, using the flat of your tongue to clean him up. Christian’s head rolled back and his mouth fell open at the warmth and the wetness that suddenly appeared for him.

“Yeah, that’s it baby.” He purred as you began to gleefully take him deep into your mouth. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair as he took a rough fistful, rocking his hips with each pump of your mouth. It was clear he wasn’t going to last too much longer as moans began spilling from his lips, sweet nothings floating into your ears. The hair above his cock was beginning to tickle your face more than you liked so you pulled back to focus on the head of his cock. Still you kept his joy going by replacing the pumping action with your hand on his shaft. Going tip to tip with your tongue and his penis, you licked up and down, side to side, in circular motions keeping a steady speed to not rush his orgasm which was already fast approaching. But when your tongue began to dip into the slit of his head, he let out a breathless “oh god” and an “oh fuck!” before those sweet words were spoken: “oh god, baby, I’m cumming!”

As he whimpered out your name, sweet streams of hot cum shot out onto your still moving tongue. In normal circumstances, you would spit the cum out not being a huge fan of the texture but you felt it was deserved today. Once he pulled his still twitching cock out of your mouth, he instinctively reached for the nearby bin for you to spit out his seed. But you kept eye contact as you swallowed every last drop and showed him the evidence. His cheeks flushed a darker shade of pink and his eyes darkened at your actions.

“Stand up. It’s your turn.” He growled, pulling you up and pinning your front against the wall with an order to “stay there a second.”

You turned your head to watch him pick up a clean sock of his from the dresser. Somehow throughout your entire sex journey with each other, neither of you had thought to buy an actual blindfold. Surely by this point he had multiple odd socks that were looser than the other at this point. He returned to you, slipping the sock over your eyes and tying it behind your head in a tight, secure knot. He made quick work of removing only your bra, flinging it to a random corner in the room to be found hours later. Keeping your panties on seemed to excite him even more. He pressed his body against you, making sure your hair was moved out of the way to reveal your neck.

“Before we start, lovely,” he began, his dominant demeanour dropping for a moment, “if at any point you feel uncomfortable, you want to stop, tell me straight away okay? Don’t feel bad or scared to say it’s too much and we need to stop.” His fingers gently traced shapes on your shoulder as he whispered his concerned words to you, waiting for a response.

“I will, baby, I promise.” You smiled reassuringly over your shoulder, “I always feel safe with you and I want to do this really badly.” Although you couldn’t see it, he returned your smile and planted a gentle kiss on your cheek and then your lips, holding on for a second longer than he intended.

After receiving your consent to continue, he moved his kisses to your neck, sparing no time with leaving a trail of love bites down your skin on either side. He separated your legs with his which allowed his, once again rock hard cock to spring up between your legs, landing neatly between your folds through the soaked fabric. Beginning to rock his hips like he did before, the hairs on his chest and stomach tickled with each movement. He reached around to begin to fondle your bare breasts now leaving no space between your bodies.

“Does that feel good?” He cooed, his hot breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t say anything so you just nodded. The roughness of his hands skyrocketed the pleasure as they kneaded your soft skin, taking some time to gently pinch your nipples. Mixed with the feeling of his slow thrusts you were in ecstasy. You let out a quiet whimper as your head rolled back onto his shoulder, his lips making their way back down to leave soft kisses over the marks he had made. There was a twinge of pain as your skin was sensitive but the moistness of his lips felt oddly soothing.

“Christian…” you gasped, “please I need more!”

Feeling him smirk against your skin made your body quiver and your legs feel like jelly. He guided you back to the bed with his hands on your hips before turning you around to face him.

“Mmmm…you look so beautiful right now!” You could hear the smile in his voice as he studied your face for a brief moment, “Let me get a good look at you, baby girl.”

Carefully he untied the sock trying not to catch your hair or hurt you accidentally. As it slipped off your face, you had to spend a second to adjust to the light, squinting hard before feeling comfortable enough to open your eyes normally. Christian’s hair was a little bit damp and messy from his enjoyment so far, sparse beads of sweat gently rolling down the side of his face before settling in his neatly trimmed beard. But despite the sweat, red skin, and mucked up hair, he had never looked so handsome and you found yourself leaning forward to show your love for him. There was no hesitation as he leant forward and closed the gap between your lips.

However the kiss, although full of love and a hint of passion, was short lived. That gleam in his eye from earlier returned as did his hard on which was just begging to be touched again. He pushed you back to lay down on the bed and took a rough hold of your legs to, once again, pull you down to the edge of the bed. Instinctively you tried to sit up but he held you down by your hips. The smirk returned as he shook his head at you for attempting to go against his order. That damned smirk. A part of you hated how it had so much control over you. You watched as he sunk down to his knees allowing his fingertips to gently slide down your thighs as he reached the floor. Licking his lips, he reached down to your thighs, making and maintaining eye contact with you. He left a trail of kisses leading up on either thigh being careful not to get too close just yet.

Every time he got close to the sweet spot you felt a small heartbeat on your clit. You were getting increasingly more desperate for his tongue to relieve you of the built up pressure.

“Oh god, you have no idea how good your pussy smells right now!” He moaned out, lifting your legs wide apart. He was becoming just as desperate as you were, practically salivating over the knowledge that he was about to be able to lick up every last drop of your excitement. He began to lick at your inner thigh where the crease of your skin started to become your right pussy lip. You fought back the sounds of pleasure by biting on your bottom lip hard enough to almost draw blood. The feeling of the top of his tongue trying desperately to slip under the fabric of your panties through the leg hole to get even just a hint of your taste was so intense. Clearly he had run out of patience as he grabbed either side of the waistband and yanked your panties off in one clean swoop to join the fate of your forgotten bra. He threw your legs over his shoulders as you watched him lick his lips with an almost silent “fuck!”, dipping his head down to return the favour from earlier.

The feeling of his whole tongue slipping between your folds to drag a slow, full lick from bottom to top was enough to make you lose concentration and let out a yelp of pleasure. You felt him groan against your wet lips sending a wave of pleasure upwards from the vibration. He said something in response which you didn’t hear as he parted your lips with either hand and delved in deeper, his tongue slipping into your entrance.

“You taste so good…” he barely mumbled, his mouth too busy to say anything else. You reached down to hold his head doing anything to reign in the feeling that was starting to become too much for you to handle any longer, but he was quick to grab your wrists before you even felt his slick hair under your hands. Christian looked up at you as he held them tightly on either side of your hips. Regardless of how much fun he was having, he was still determined to punish you for sending him those photos and that video. It could really go either way from here: either he was going to force an early orgasm so you were even more sensitive than you already would be, or he was going to completely deny you of that experience. He was still going to have his way with you but only one of you would be crossing that finish line.

His lips moved up north and hooked onto your clit, sucking roughly on that little button. Instinctively your legs tried to squeeze together from the intense pleasure, pressing against his ears. He took a hold of both your wrists with his left hand moving them to rest on your stomach to force at least one of your legs apart so he could reach you again. It took a fair amount of force to separate your leg from his head but he got there in the end, holding it as far away from his head as he could. His tongue flicked aggressively in all directions at your clit as you let out a strangled shout of his name, the pleasure being too much to stay quiet. Your hips lifted to his face as you felt your orgasm approaching which he sensed. He pulled off you with a satisfying pop, lips red and slightly swollen from the action. He spent a moment admiring his work, your pussy glistening and your clit throbbing from pleasure. Looking up to see your face, he let out a soft moan.

“Oh baby, that was a lot huh?” He teased, lips slightly pouting. Your face was beet red and hot, covered in a layer of sweat that continued all down your body and stuck long strands of hair to your forehead. With legs trembling, you pulled yourself up the bed to allow him to follow you, still on his knees.

“There’s a good girl,” he cooed encouragingly, “you ready for more?”

Admittedly you weren’t sure if you were. You were still so sensitive from him eating you out, you didn’t know if you could take a rough fucking especially for long. But as he moved your legs apart for the third time that evening, the concern left your mind.

“Please, Christian. I need you to fuck me!” You begged, becoming desperate for him again. He pursed his lips wondering if you deserved it.

“Hmmm…,” he wondered aloud, “maybe if you beg for it some more, I’ll fuck you?”

“You bastard.”

You spent a moment trying to think of the quickest thing you could say to get him to reward you. Perhaps you should apologise for teasing him before? That would surely get him to give you what you needed? Still watching and waiting for your pleas, he took a hold of his erection and began to rub it between your wet lips, making it infinitely harder to concentrate.

“I’m sorry I touched myself w-without your presence or permission. I shouldn’t have…” you swallowed thickly, the returning pleasure fuzzing up your thoughts, “I…I shouldn’t have done it. I promise I…I promise I won’t do it again.”

You looked up to see him smiling down at you, still teasing your vagina by rubbing with only the head of his cock. “What do you need from me, sweetie?” His voice was dark and lustful, needing to hear you say it one more time.

“I need…I need you to fuck me. Rough, hard, fast, in any way. Please don’t tease me anymore, I need- ah!”

He didn’t even wait to hear you finish, sliding his cock deep inside you. The feeling of him finally stretching you out was intoxicating. You both let out guttural moans as he wasted no time in burying his cock as far as it would go. Adjusting himself to a missionary position he began to snap his hips roughly pounding in and out of you. By that point, you had completely lost the ability to focus on anything but the feeling and the sound of his skin slapping against yours. Incoherent words fell out of both of your mouths. It seemed he shared your inability to create a coherent sentence. With your hands splayed across his back, you placed a kiss on his shoulder as he dug his fingers once again into your thighs. You were able to regain focus for just a moment as you tasted the subtle saltiness of his sweat on your lips.

“Oh fuck baby, I…I can’t last much longer,” you whimpered, “please, don’t stop!”

He simply panted in response, picking up the pace and angling his hips so he could hit that sweet spot. His lips brushed against the edge of your ear and you barely heard him whisper, “that’s it, tell me how good it feels.”

You really wish you could but you could only moan and whine in response, his thrusts being the only thing your mind could comprehend in that moment. That and your orgasm that was right there. It seemed that he picked up on the urgency of that feeling as he knelt up, pulling your hips with him so your legs sat on either side of him and your ass on his thighs. He stared you down, mouth hanging open, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as the pace he had set began to falter. Breathing heavily, he brought his thumb up to his mouth to suck on it for a brief second before lowering it back to your clit to rub circles on it. There was a growing tension in your lower stomach the longer he paired the two motions, which was moments away from releasing.

“Christiannn…” you whined out his name, your hips rocking and jerking with his, eyes squeezed shut. Sweat was dripping off his body and rolling down yours as he leant forward a bit to see your face closer. Your walls had become so tight around him as you teetered on the edge of release, just needing his encouragement. Your eyes opened to meet his and as he flashed you a sweet smile, you got what you wanted.

“Oh baby, please…cum for me!”

That’s all you needed, letting out a loud gasp and becoming still and tense. Rippling feelings of an intense release of bliss overtook your body as you came around his still thrusting erection. As you slowly came back down to Earth, you heard him whimper as he gripped your hips desperately. He lurched forward laying on top of you as his equally explosive orgasm hit, even stronger than his first one. His lips crashed against yours to stifle the noises of his pleasure not wanting to be too loud. After all, his pleasure was for you and you alone.

It took him a little bit longer to come down from his orgasm, eventually choosing to lay there still connected with you just trying to catch his breath. His face was buried in your neck, still quietly moaning against your skin, planting lazy kisses on the now bruised marks. Although the room was muggy and a little too hot with him choosing not to move over just yet, everything felt perfect. You traced random shapes on his sweat slicked back, your eyes glazed over in a post bliss. Finally he unpeeled his body from yours, the air cooling you down a little bit. As he gently pulled his cock out from inside of you, you felt his seed spill out from inside of you making you gasp and him chuckle at your reaction. He effortlessly picked you up to place you in the armchair near the bed as he began to clear the bed, not wanting to sleep in the now wet sheets. He had also, thankfully, turned the air conditioning on which helped clear up the room, choosing to also open the window behind closed curtains to let some fresh air in.

“I think I’ve…learned my lesson!” You mentioned, standing up to dry yourself off with a nearby towel. He shook his head with a smile, “I hope you have, otherwise I’d have to start all over again.”

Passing him the towel so he could do the same after new sheets were on the bed, you picked up the old ones and placed them in the laundry basket for him, climbing under the top blanket.

“I do want to say that it felt incredible as usual” you praised, as he slid in to lay next to you for a snuggle. He gently laid a kiss on your lips stroking your cheek with his thumb in response. You exchanged the usual ‘I love you’s as you settled down with bodies still buzzing in joy. He reached down to pull your leg over his hips so you were even closer, making you giggle slightly when he grumbled: “you’re so far away, what the fuck?” Planting another quick kiss to your forehead to hear you giggle one last time, he kept his lips near your face. Feeling the tickle of his breathing helped you drift into the best sleep you had in a long time. You continued tracing shapes on his skin which helped him drift away with you in a well deserved good night's sleep.

#christian cage #captain charisma #christian #christian wwe #instant classic #christian cage x reader #christian cage fanfic

[ageofbarbarians]

Hello. Not sure if you're taking requests, if not ignore.

You're on a date and it's going terrible. The guy is pretentious, loves himself too much, and works in the finance market, so aside from having money he is a fucking tool. Just a bad date overall!

You lock eyes with Harry across the room. He sees you're not enjoying yourself. You've never met. You don't know each other. He mouths to you if you need "saving". Usually, you'd say no. That would be rude to ditch someone like this, but you're so bored and this guy is a walking red flag, so you say yes to this total handsome stranger. Harry gets up from his seat and walks over to your table...

You're struck by how handsome he is. He reaches over to you with the most amazing smile and says

"Hi. It's been a while, stranger."

Do have fun ^^

Thank you xx

First Dates // H.E.S

A/N: I absolutely loved this idea and I had so much fun writing this!! It got a little kinkier than I was expecting it to be but I hope you enjoy((:

If you have a request don’t be afraid to send one through! I love doing requests even though they take me a little while to do(:

Summary: Above ^^

Warnings: Language, Adult Content NSFW 18+ MDI! Oral Sex (m&f receiving), Slight Use of a Flogger and Ropes, Penetrative Sex (f receiving), Unprotected Sex (on birth control)

Word Count: 5.7k

MASTERLIST

“It was crazy! That part was one of the wildest I’ve ever been to, especially for a work party. We probably spent a couple grand putting that thing together. Not that it was a huge deal considering that’s like change to me, but it was still wild.” The guy in front of you laughed. You pulled a fake smile before taking a sip of your drink.

You were on one of the worst blind dates of your life. You had been going on dates for a while, just trying to find somebody who made you genuinely happy. You were so tired of the shitty dates that lead to one-night stands and you would never hear from them again. It was exhausting. This guy though? He was the worst to fucking date. So far he has just talked about himself the entire night, about how much money he makes like it’s some huge deal, all of the lane as parties he’s been to and hasn’t even let you get a word in edge-wise. He ordered your food for you, never even stopping to ask what you wanted. At one point he had even mentioned something about a girl he had slept with. You were over it, this guy was nothing but one giant red flag.

“Sounds crazy.” You nodded your head and looked around the restaurant, trying to avert your attention elsewhere.

“It was! I mean who knew an office party could get that wild? There weren’t really any women there so that’s probably why. No drama.” He nodded his head and you just looked at him, raising your brows. Are you actually fucking serious?

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, finishing off your drink. You needed to find a way to get out of here but you didn’t want to be rude and just leave. Granted this guy deserved every little bit of it but that just wasn’t you.

“Will you excuse me?” You smiled softly and stood up to make your way to the bathroom. He just shrugged and nodded his head. You sighed as you walked to the bathroom. You debated on grabbing another drink since you had to walk past the bar but you decided against it. On the way, you made eye contact with one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen. His hair was pushed back, a single curl falling in front of his face. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green and his lips were the perfect shade of pink. He looked you up and down before he gave you a soft smile, taking a sip of his drink. Whiskey you assumed. You smirked at him and turned to go into the bathroom.

You stood in front of the mirror, giving your appearance a once over trying to see if there was anything that could be making this date go so horribly wrong. You shook your head and tried to rid the thoughts from your mind.

“This is because of him, not you.” You whispered to yourself as you stared at yourself, observing your outfit. You adjusted the red suit jacket that sat perfectly along your shoulders and adjusted your breasts in the lacy body suit you wore under it. You pulled a small tube of lipstick out of your clutch and touch up your lips before putting the cap back on and closing the clutch back up.

You adjusted your hair as you walked out of the bathroom, your heels clicking against the tile. You walked past the handsome stranger again and scanned his body as you continued to walk to your table. As soon as you sat down, the guy in front of you just continued on about whatever stupid story he was telling. At this point, you couldn’t even hear anything he was saying.

You looked over at the bar to see the mysterious man making direct eye contact with you. He waved and you gave a small smile. You looked back at your ‘date’ and he hadn’t even noticed that you weren’t paying attention. You looked back at the handsome stranger as he had his back leaned against the bar, drink in his hand.

“Need help?” He mouthed to you. You were taken back by the question but you were desperate to get out of this date. You nodded your head ever so slightly and he noticed. He finished off his drink before he sat it down on the bar and stood up, making his way over to your table.

You sat up in your seat, focusing your attention on the annoying man— correction, boy, in front of you. You smiled at him and nodded your head as he continued to talk.

“Hi. It’s been a while, stranger.” The handsome man stood next to your table and he looked at you, completely ignoring your date sitting across from you.

“Oh my gosh, hi!” You stood up and gave the stranger a hug, acting as if you’d known him forever. As the side of your head brushed past him, you whispered a ‘thank you.

“Uh hello?” The prick sitting down at the table scoffed and you both pulled away from the hug. You both looked at him and his brows were raised, an obviously irritated expression on his face.

“Harry, a long-time friend.” The stranger, whose name you now learned was Harry, introduced himself to your date even though he didn’t need to.

“Scott.” Your date said simply as he stood up, clearly annoyed. He took a sip of his drink and stiffened up, trying to compare himself to Harry. Wasn’t even close.

“Nice to meet you, Scott.” Harry smiled and tried to shake Scott’s hand, but he just looked at his hand before looking back at Harry.

“Yeah, likewise. If you don’t mind we’re kind of on a date here.” Scott gestured to you and then back to himself.

“Seriously?” You scoffed, an annoying smile on your face. Scott gave you a confused look before sitting down and you continued to laugh.

���Yeah, a date my fucking ass. Listen, I’ve been on a lot of dates, and I mean a lot, and you are by far the worst guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. You talked about yourself the entire time, not even letting me get a word in edge-wise. For fucks sake, you even talked about hooking up with one of your past dates. This has to be a joke.” You shook your head and grabbed your clutch from the table.

“Y/N, come on, don’t be a bitch.” Scott scoffed and this was your final straw. You grabbed the glass of water that was sitting on the table and threw it in his face. You heard a couple of the tables surrounding you gasp and a few even laughed.

“What the fuck!” He shouted and you wrapped your arm around Harry’s. You both started to walk towards the bar before you stopped to get in a final word.

“Thanks for the salad. Dick.” You rolled your eyes and continued to walk to the bar with Harry. As the two of you sat down, you burst into a fit of laughter.

“Wow… that was by far one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on.” You shook your head and looked at Harry who had an amused smile on his face.

“Guy seemed like a prick.” He waved over the bartender and he came over a moment later.

“What can I get for you?” A short woman smiled as she waited for us to give our drink order.

“I’ll have another whiskey, and the lady will have…” Harry ordered his drink and looked at you, waiting for you to give your order.

“Rosé, please.”

“The lady will have a rosé,” Harry repeated and she nodded, going to get the drinks. You turned your head towards Harry and you smiled at him, observing his features. He turned his head to face you and he eyed you up and down once more.

“So stranger, I never did learn your name.” He pulled his bottom lip in between his thumb and forefinger.

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You stuck your hand out for him to shake and he took it with a firm grip and shook it three times.

“Harry Styles, it’s very nice to meet you, love.” He nodded his head once and turned toward the bartender who sat down the drinks in front of the both of you. You grabbed your glass of wine and took a sip, while Harry took a sip of his whiskey.

“Also, you’re right, that guy was a prick.” You shook your head and sat your glass back down on the bar before crossing your legs and setting your hands on your knee.

“How do you even know him?” He asked curiously, taking another sip of his drink.

“Blind date. One of my friends set me up with him for god knows why so safe to say I won’t be taking her recommendations anymore. God, I’m so over dating.” You shook your head, looking toward the ground.

“That’s a shame.” You looked back up to meet Harry’s eyes and the two of you just stared at each other for a moment.

“What makes you say that?” You questioned, trying to egg him on. He smiled as he looked down at the floor and back up at you again.

“I mean, a beautiful girl like you shouldn’t give up on dating. I mean who knows, there could be some extremely handsome guy who wants to take her out who isn’t a total fuck.” Harry shrugged and turned toward you, knees facing each other. He took another sip of his drink and leaned one of his arms against the bar.

“Mmm, a shame I’ll never get to experience that,” you sighed, shaking your head and taking another sip of your drink, obviously catching onto what he was implying. Harry raised his brow at you and the simple look sent butterflies through your stomach. He was extremely attractive and something about his stare was intimidating.

“Do you want to go somewhere with me, Y/N?” He asked suddenly. You let out a small laugh and stared at him for a moment before realizing her was serious.

“Wait, like actually? How do I know you’re not going to murder me once we leave?” You questioned.

“Does this look like a face of a murder?” He raised a brow, setting the back side of his hand under his chin.

“Yes very much so. I mean come on. Bundy? Richard Ramirez? Dahmer? They were all attractive yet still killed people.” You deadpanned. Harry stared at you not even knowing what to say.

“I mean.. yeah I guess you have a point. But that’s a part of the thrill isn’t it?” He smiled and you laughed at his comment. You both finished off your drinks and you stood up, reaching your hand out for him to grab.

“Where are we going, Styles?” Harry stood up and grabbed your hand, leading you toward the exit. Unfortunately, you had to walk past Scott’s table and he glared at the two of you as you made your way toward the exit.

“Stupid fucking bitch,” you heard Scott mumble under his breath. Before you had a chance to turn around, Harry’s hand left yours and he strode over to Scott’s table. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and practically lifted him out of his chair. There was an instant look of panic that washed over his face. He looked like he was going to throw up. 

“Call her a bitch or any sort of name again and see what the fuck happens.” Harry hissed stared into his eyes and all Scott could do was quickly nod his head. The simple act sent heat to your core and you bit your lip. Something about Harry looking pissed off was extremely sexy. You shook your head slightly, trying to get rid of the thoughts since you had just met this man. But dear god he was sexy.

“Good, glad we’re on the same page.” Harry smiled and let go of Scott’s collar, causing him to fall back into his chair, looking up at Harry with a face of horror. He turned around and walked back towards you, resting his hand in yours again. The two of you walked out of the building as soon as you got out the doors. You pushed Harry against the wall of the restaurant, immediately kissing him. You could tell that the action caught him off guard but it was only seconds later that he began to kiss you back.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Harry pulled away, a smirk on his face. His hands rested themselves on your sides and he towered over you slightly. You laughed once you realized what you had done.

“That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. I don't think I've ever had somebody do something like that for me.” You admitted, a blush creeping onto your face. You took a step back away from him but he grabbed your waist firmly, pulling you closer to him. He leaned down and kissed you again, a lot gentler than you had done to him. You damn near melted into his touch. You put your hands on his arms, feeling his muscles through his suit.

“Forgive me for being so straightforward, but can I please take you home?” You pulled away, looking up into his eyes to read his expression. Harry nodded his head and started pulling you towards the parking lot. You followed behind him, your hand resting in his.

"Harry, what if I drove here?" You asked with a slight laugh. Harry stopped and faced you.

"Shit, did you drive yourself? That asshole didn't even have the decency to pick you up?" He looked at you absolutely dumbfounded.

"I'm kidding. I took a cab." You laughed and you both started walking to the parking lot again. You looked at the side of Harry's face to see the silly little grin he had on his face. You eventually reached his car and he opened the passenger side door for you before you got in. He jogged over to the driver's side and hopped in, letting his car roar to life.

During the car ride, you told Harry where to go and you both engaged in subtle conversation. It was only about fifteen minutes later when you reached your house. You had been lucky enough to buy your own home when a family member you didn't even know passed and you just so happened to be in the will. You felt bad that you didn't know who the person was but your parents had told you that you were only a baby when you had met so it wasn't a huge deal. The house was a decent size but not too big since it was just you, but it gave you room to expand whenever the time came.

You and Harry both got out of the car and it wasn't long before his lips were attacking yours. Your back was pressed against the hood of the car as your fingers tangled into Harry's hair, tugging slightly at the roots. One of his hands was around the back of your neck while the other supported your lower back. You stayed like this for a few minutes, just taking in the moment and admiring how perfectly your lips glided together.

"I have some more drinks inside if you want some more whiskey," You pulled away ever so slightly and he nodded. You pressed another kiss to Harry's lips before you walked towards the front door and grabbed your keys out of your clutch and inserted one of them into the slot. Immediately you heard your dog barking at the front door, waiting for you to come in.

"His name is Tank, he might seem intimidating for a minute but he's the biggest baby I've ever met in my entire life. He's a pitbull mastiff mix." You turned your head towards Harry and he nodded, seeming as though he was excited to meet the dog. You opened the door slightly and Tank continued to bark as you turned a light on and he immediately went up to Harry. He sniffed Harry as he held his hand out, letting him get familiar with his scent. Tank jumped up onto Harry with a giant goofy grin on his face, attempting to give him kisses.

"Tank, down!" You tapped his butt and he jumped down, coming over to you as you crouched down to say hi to him. He layed sloppy kisses all over your face and you turned your head trying to get him to stop. He pushed his head into your chest which made you fall over onto the floor, now fully sitting in front of him.

"I can see why you call him Tank," Harry laughed and started petting the top of Tank's head. He was all black with a small bit of white on his chest and the tips of his toes. He had a red spiked collar and his tail was like a whip. His head was the biggest part of him and most of the time he didn't even know his own size. 

"He's like a bulldozer. There's been a few times he's knocked me out with his head. Thing is like a brick. Isn't that right baby? You have a big 'ole brick for a head, huh?" You cooed at the dog and he attacked your face with kisses again, having no idea what the hell you were even saying. You took your heels off before standing up and walking to the kitchen. Harry followed behind you and Tank made his way to the living room and began chewing on his bone. 

"He's very cute. How old is he?" Harry asked. You opened a bottle of wine for yourself and pour yourself a glass. 

"He's about four. I got him when I had first moved in so I wouldn't be alone. I had always wanted a dog, so I adopted Tank before he could be used for dog fighting." You put the bottle of wine in the fridge and opened a cabinet trying to reach the only bottle of whiskey you had. You stood on your tiptoes, stretching your arm as far as it would go. You felt Harry press up against your backside, reaching over you to grab it. He backed away and you turned to smile at him. You grabbed a glass and got some ice from the fridge, letting it fall into the cup. You handed it to Harry and he poured himself a glass. 

"I will never understand how people can do such a thing to animals." Harry shook his head and you agreed.

"I don't either. People are shit." You sighed and Harry nodded his head with a small laugh. You grabbed your wine glass again, taking a sip as you observed Harry's body. The suit he was wearing fit him perfectly in all of the right places but you really wondered what he looked like without it on. Harry stepped closer to you and your eyes trailed up his chest before you made eye contact with him.

"I was looking at you all night, Y/N," Harry admitted. His chest was almost completely against yours and you could feel the heat in your core growing.

"Is that so?" You smirked and sat your glass down, leaning against the kitchen counter. You watched his eyes scan over your chest and he licked his lips before nodding his head.

"I kept wondering how a beautiful woman such as yourself was on a date with a pretentious asshole when she could've been having the night of her life."

"It's not too late to change that." You shook your head and Harry lifted you onto the counter before you wrapped your arms around his neck. His lips flew to your neck and you let out a moan as he began to leave small bites before soothing them with his tongue. He slotted himself between your legs and you could feel his bulge through the material of your pants. You ran your hands down the front of his chest and began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He pushed off his suit jacket and when you had the final button undone he took off the shirt. You observed his toned chest and arms, paying closer attention to the tattoos. You were a sucker for tattoos.

You shrugged off your red suit jacket and undid your belt before popping the button on your pants. Harry grabbed your belt and ran over the material with the tips of his fingers.

"This might come in handy." He smirked before sliding what he could into his back pocket. The thought of being tied up sent a shiver down your spine and another wave of heat to your core. You could feel your wetness soak your panties. You connected your lips again before you applied kisses to his jaw line and made your way over to the side of his neck right by his ear.

"I have something better that you can use. Upstairs, yeah?" You whispered in his ear and he nodded, backing up so you could hop off the counter. You grabbed his hand and lead him upstairs to your bedroom. As soon as you entered the bedroom you shut the door behind the both of you and turned on a lamp that gave enough light to illuminate the room to see the silhouettes of everything but not enough to make it blinding. It was the perfect mix. 

"So I have this box..." You reached under your bed and pulled out said box. You sat it on the bed and sat your hand over the top before you turned to Harry.

"I haven't used really anything in it and I kind of want to use it, if you're not comfortable I totally understand, I just figured I'd-"

"Get on the bed, hands up," Harry commanded and you looked at him in shock before following his instructions. You lay on the bed with your arms raised above your head. Harry looked through the box and grabbed a few things and sat them on the bed before he put the box back under the bed. He stripped himself of his pants, leaving himself in his boxers. He crawled over to you on the bed and all you could do was stare at the obvious bulge in his boxers. You could see the outline of him almost perfectly and you wanted nothing more than to just rip the material off of him.

"Eyes up here, darling." Harry tapped your chin and you looked into his emerald eyes. You bit your lip and he smiled at how desperately you wanted him. 

"We're following my rules tonight, okay?" He raised a brow and you nodded.

"Yes, sir." 

"Fuck, I could get used to that. Say it again." Harry gripped your chin as you stared into his eyes and smirked.

"Yes, sir." You let out a soft moan just to get a rise out of him as you knew it was working. He pulled on the material of your pants and you lifted your hips to help get them off. Harry tossed them somewhere in the room and ran his fingers over your clothed heat. He grabbed one of the two items that rested on the bed. He held your wrists together as he wrapped a rope around them to bind them together. 

"So wet for me already. Should we take this off, hm?" He rubbed his fingers over your clit in a few small circles before unsnapping the buttons. He pulled the lacey body suit up your body and over your head, also tossing that somewhere. He stared at your body, examining every little bit of you as he palmed himself through his boxers. 

"On your hands and knees for me, baby," Harry tapped your cheek and you did as you were told. You go onto your hands and knees, leaning your chest against the bed to arch your back as much as you could, laying your arms above your head. A moment later you felt cool leather being dragged across your back, over your ass, and across your pussy. It sent shivers down your spine but something was arousing about the soft feeling.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked, dragging the material across your body again. You shook your head and Harry slapped the material against your ass, causing you to moan.

"Words."

"No, sir."

"It's a flogger, a type of whip. Do you like how it feels?" He asked, dragging the material down your back again.

"Yes, sir." You truly enjoyed the soft feeling of the leather across your back. It was the anticipation that made it most arousing, not knowing if you were going to get spanked or if he was just going to toy with you. 

"I won't use it much more. It's a nice little introduction. I am, however, dying to taste you." Harry groaned and his dirty words made you drip.

"Please touch me," You begged and you heard him let out a quiet groan before his hands rested against your sides before he licked a bold stripe against your pussy causing you to moan. His mouth wrapped around your clit and he sucked and soothed over the bundle of nerves. You moaned into the pillows, gripping the sheets the best you could as he continued his attack. You felt one of his fingers toying with your entrance before he slowly slid one finger into you. He curved his finger and slowly pumped in and out of you.

"Fuck, more, please," You whined and he listened as he inserted another finger. His movements sped up and you screwed your eyes shut and moaned louder. The sounds of your wetness and moans filled the room as Harry groaned, sending vibrations against you. You could feel the familiar pit in your stomach begin to grow and you knew you wouldn't last much longer.

"Are you close, baby? I can feel you clenching around me." He began to rub fast circles against your clit and you moaned louder, screwing your eyes shut.

"Fuck, yes! Can I cum? Please?" You whimpered as you could feel yourself on the brink of spilling over.

"Cum for me, pretty girl." Harry moaned and attached his lips around you again as you released. You cried out as your high took over, already leaving you a mess. Your breathing was heavy as you slowly came down from your orgasm.

"God, you taste so sweet. On your back, love." Harry got off the bed as he stepped out of his boxers and you flipped over onto your back. You looked at him, noticing his length and your eyes widened. Harry crawled over the top of you before connecting his lips with yours. His tongue grazed your bottom lip and you opened your mouth, letting your tongue fight with his. You could taste yourself against his tongue but you didn't care.

"Can I?" Harry dragged his tip through your fold, collecting your arousal. 

"Please," You begged. You wanted nothing more other than him to fill you up completely. You knew his length was going to be a lot but you also knew it would be worth it.

Harry slowly slid into you, stretching you out. Harry pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and stilled inside of you, letting you get used to his length. He ran his thumb over your cheek a few times before you nodded your head signaling him to move. He slowly pulled almost completely out of you before pushing his hips forwards. His movements gradually got faster before he was hitting you in all of the right places. Your back arched and Harry leaned down with his arms on either side of your head. Your eyes closed as you let every part of him take over your sense.

"Look at me," Harry groaned and you opened your eyes, trying your hardest to keep your focus on him.

"Fuck, your cock is so big, I love the way you fuck me," You whimpered as Harry threw his head back.

"Shit, if you keep talking to me like that I won't last much longer," Harry came down and kissed you again, thrusting into you harder. You whimpered through the kiss and wrapped your legs around his waist. Harry quickly undid the rope around your wrists and your nails connected with his back as you raked them down from his brutal pace. Harry put his weight on one of his arms and moved the other one between you to rub your clit again. 

"Let me ride you, please," You begged as one of your hands came up to cup his face.

"Yeah? Pretty baby wants to ride my cock?" He questioned and you nodded as you whined. He grabbed your hip with one hand put the other on your lower back and flipped the two of you over. You began to grind your hips against him before bouncing up and down on him. Harry stared at you sliding in and out of him as you tossed your head back and grabbed your breasts, playing with your nipples. 

"Look at you, taking my dick so well," Harry praised before he grabbed onto your hips and began to throw his hips upward into you. A moan that was a borderline scream flew past your lips and you leaned forward, setting one of your hands on his chest to keep yourself steady and the other against your headboard. You could feel your second orgasm coming on and your eyes began to water from the stimulation.

"Harder," You gasped. He was already fucking you pretty hard but you just wanted every single piece of him. Harry held on in place as he continued his pace and he could feel you tightening around him. 

"Fuck, you're so tight," He moaned and you fell forward against his chest and whimpered in his ear before kissing his neck. You could taste the saltiness of his skin as you bit different places that you knew were bound to leave lilac marks. You pulled his earlobe between your teeth and whined in his ear which cause a quiet whimper to leave his lips.

"Fuck, fuck, Harry, I'm gonna cum again," You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down almost hard enough to draw blood. 

"Shit, me too," He groaned and you pulled yourself off of him before flipping around and taking his cock into your mouth. He didn't have time to object but he didn't mind having your mouth around him.

"Holy fuck," He gasped as your lips wrapped around him, not expecting the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat. He pulled your hips down over his face before sucking on your clit as you both moaned. You held him down your throat for a moment before coming up to take a gasp for air. You licked up his shaft before you wrapped one of your hands around the base of his dick to begin jerking him off. You could feel him twitch under your touch so you took him back into your mouth. A few seconds later you could feel the hot sticky spurts of him trail down the back of your throat, swallowing every bit of him. Your orgasm him seconds later as you moaned with his cock still in your mouth. Your legs began to shake and tears slid down your cheek from the overstimulation. You tried to pull away from him but he held your hips in place, continuing to lap his tongue over you to ride out your high. 

You rolled over off of him as you took in a few deep breaths to calm your heart rate. You both lay there for a minute in silence before Harry spoke up.

"Where is your bathroom, love?" You could tell he was out of breath.

"Right across the hall." You responded quietly as your eyes fluttered closed. You felt him get off the bed before walking out of the room. A few seconds later he came back into the room as you felt the bed dip down. You opened your eyes and noticed he had a damp rag in his hand. He ran the rag gently over your core cleaning you up and you felt your cheeks go red. You had never had anybody do any type of aftercare for you before.

Harry leaned over you and applied a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled the comforter back and patted the spot next to him. You crawled under the blanket and leaned against his chest. You could feel your eyes growing heavy and you knew you would end up falling asleep.

"Harry?" You spoke up, your voice was soft as you traced over the tattoo on his stomach. 

"Hmm?" He hummed quietly as he started running his fingers through your hair.

"I hope it's not a lot to ask, but," You paused not even sure if you should ask.

"What, baby?" He picked up on your worry and turned his head to look at you.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" You asked quietly, not even sure if he could hear you. 

"Of course. I also hope it's not a lot to ask, but will you get breakfast with me in the morning?" You could hear the smile in his voice and you nodded your head and smiled against his chest.

"If you'd let me, I'd love to go through that box with you too," His voice was low and you looked up at him. You bit your lip and nodded your head as you felt your cheeks get hot. Harry leaned down a connected his lips with yours. The kiss was soft and delicate, with no hurried movements or any sort of rush to it. He pulled away and pressed a gentle kiss to your nose before he leaned his head back. You rested your head against his chest again and closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat. The subtle thump slowly put you into a trance before you both drifted off to sleep. 

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles smut #hs one shot #harrystyles #hs x y/n #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #Harry styles fanfic #Harry styles fic #harry edward styles #theharryhype

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Komamura Sajin (Bleach) :Oneshot

“Why did I listen to Rangiku?”

You’ve gotten yourself into some deep shit because of her, but this feels by far the most embarrassing. The minute she found out about your crush she made it her mission to play matchmaker.

When she told you to make chocolates you thought nothing of it. She said that in the world of the living humans did this. Made treats for the ones they cared about. You never intended to actually give it to him.

You just like the idea of it.

Confessing your feelings while you handed him the treat. You even tied it with a little sticker with his name and a drawing of an adorable fox.

That very bag was now sitting in his quarters and you were trying to find a way to sneak in and grab it before he saw.

“When I get my hands on her, I’m going to strangle her.” 

Flashstepping through the barracks, you finally made it to his office.

You just need to get in and out.

Piece of cake.

Sliding the door open carefully, you tiptoed in, facing back to ensure no one sees you.

Maybe if you’d focused more on the front of you, you would have seen the male.

“(L/N)-san?”

You shrieked, instinctively slamming the door shut as you fell face first on the ground. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his head as he looked at you.

“Are you alright?”

You picked yourself off the ground, wiping your face.

“This is humiliating.”

It literally could not get worse.

“G-Gomen, Komamura-taicho.”

You bow, hoping to regain what little dignity you had left.

“It’s good that you’re here, maybe you can help me. I received this earlier today.”

In his hand was the entire reason for this dumb mission. The small wrapped packet of chocolates with heart and doodles decorated around his name. Not to mention that childish drawing.

“I believe someone left it for me.”

You wanted a hole to just open up and take you right there and then.

“It’s strange, I’ve never received sweets before. It must be a joke. My subordinates seem to be restless lately.”

Those words made you pause, and you lowered your head. For some reason hearing him make that assumption hurt. It felt like a mock of your feelings.

“It’s not a joke.”

Your stern voice caught his attention. The second you lifted your head, his eyes widened at your pained expression.

“I have to go, please excuse me.”

He didn’t get a word in. You disappeared and Komamura looked down at the small bag in his hand, gripping it a bit tighter.

Since the encounter you were careful to avoid him. Considering you are a member of the thirteenth division, it wasn’t that hard. You just kept a low profile when there were collaborations on missions.

Rangiku of course caught on and apologized profusely after learning what happened. You knew she was just trying to help, so you couldn’t be mad.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you!!”

She then persisted to dash off into a random direction. Probably to go to the world of the living and get you more of those cute stuffed animals that she knows you adore.

With a soft sigh, you intend to head back to your squad. It’s been an exhausting few weeks.

“I made everything weird.”

You scratch your head in irritation. You still haven’t figured out a way to face him, much less apologize.

“My brain hurts.”

With a frown, you drop your head, trudging wearily through the barracks. Maybe running head first into a wall would distract you.

“Ooof!”

Your head ran into something alright. Staggering back, you look up. Golden eyes stared down at you. Every bone in your body went stiff. Komamura looked surprised. Maybe because he must have realized that you were avoiding him. Because he’d barely seen you in the last few weeks.

“(L/N)-san.”

More than anything, you want to run, because your chest hurts.

“He knows.”

That’s all you could think about. He knows about your feelings. You made a sloppy statement last time and then bolted. Now here he is again and you can’t even form words. At least not the right ones.

“I..I..”

You’re literally trembling.

It might be time to come clean, because nothing you say can cover up what was already discovered.

“I LIKE YOU!!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled that. You don’t even make the mistake of looking at him. You just have to be honest.

“R-Rangiku said that in the world of the living this is how they make their feelings known. You weren’t supposed to actually get the chocolate. She snuck it from me and left it on your desk. I-I’m sorry!”

You bow, both for the embarrassment and your poor way of handling the situation. Komamura isn’t a monster. Surely he would have understood. It just felt pathetic. Cowardly the manner in which you tried to confess.

“You made them for me.”

You nod, head still bent. You can’t look up.

“I’m sorry!”

Komamura’s expression softens. He can’t help but appreciate it. He’s used to people being so forward about their admiration for him as a captain. But this is the first time that he’s received such a confession. It’s not like this is the first time that he’s been aware of you. You’ve accompanied him on a number of missions. Your work ethic was impressive. You may not have been a ranked officer, but he was fully aware of your strengths and achievements.

It was nice to be the admirer in his instance. Because he knows that he admires you.

“I think it’s honorable to put yourself in such a position when you’re uncertain of how the other person feels.”

The statement makes your eyes pop open. Raising slowly, you somewhat gape at him.

“He’s smiling..”

You can’t believe it.

“I apologize for making light of those feelings. I’m not fully educated on all the customs of the human world. But I have to admit that I admire this one. Will you give me some time to properly think about your confession? I would like to respond to you properly.”

This must be a dream. Not only has he acknowledged your feelings, but he’s willing to actually consider them.

“Y-Yes!! Of course take all the time you need!!”

You don’t even care if you sound desperate. The person you’ve been pining after for the better part of three decades has finally become aware of you.

Komamura nods.

“Thank you.”

He sends you the most heart stopping smile, and in that moment, you sort of want to kiss Rangiku right now.

Who knew her terrible idea would turn out so well.

#sajin komamura #humor #rangiku matsumoto #love #trust #admiration #confessions #cute #fluff #sajinxreader #soul reapers #friends #soul society #bleach #feelings

[omegaplus]

# 4,171

Record Store Victory Tour 2022.

They say that once in a while you should treat yourself. It’s not often I do. After nine months of stay-at-home recovery, I promised myself that, when I was in a better place emotionally and monetarily, I would. So I had a wild idea. I decided to do something for myself I’ve never done before: an island-wide ‘record-store victory tour’. It consisted of hitting up each and every music store I could and buy as many vinyl records, cassettes, and CDs I could.

It started when I received my third paycheck of the month, my tax refund, a monthly store bonus, and our company giving us full-timers an extra $1,000 from national tax breaks and major donations. It was 2018 and the timing was right. I was in a much better place than I was 10 years before and for the first time in a long time I was feeling great.

It was intense and exhausting, but I loved it. It felt great getting back into doing what I loved doing the most; visiting a record store and spending as much as I wanted to on anything and everything I was a fan of or read about. I chased the excitement of finding artists, albums, and sounds I always meant to take home with me and get the most bang for the buck as possible. It became one of the largest excesses of individualism I’ve ever done for myself and I was all the happy for it. In the end, I spent no more than $1,500.00 on 280+ titles across eleven stores. I had fun doing it, and I told myself that if I could, I’d do it again.

It’s now 2022, and a new record-store tour was way overdue.

 I missed the days where I’d get lost in the hunt and have the outside world fall behind me if only for a few hours. I never forgot the fascination of discovering those gems I waited years for and feeling surprised in finding the unexpected. In fact, those feelings never left me. I’m the same way now as I was then. I neglected myself for so long that I had to come back. And I did.

I’d return to all the stops I made last year. Gone are the ones who receded to online selling, and good riddance to the over-priced locations who’d scam anyone for three to four times the price. They would never get my attention from me. I even added a few new locations and then some. From the east end of Long Island to (now) some of Brooklyn and Manhattan’s most appealing stores, this year’s tour would be more extensive than the last - and the most expensive.

I knew I was better off financially than I was four years ago. I had way more in the bank than expected so I knew I could spend and feel guilt-free without the consequences or buyer’s remorse. You cannot even begin to imagine how much I laid out. Chances are it’s more than you ever want to.

And with money comes things I’d ultimately learn about this -tour. I no longer buy blindly and have Discogs at my hip. I’d discover specific albums and remembered searching through certain sections that changed the course of the visit. I’d revisit my Atari / Nintendo childhood via 7” and 12”s and also my alternative days when I told myself all the artists and albums I’ve once dismissed were actually OK. I even quit and cashed it in when I wasn’t feeling a store’s selection. Conversely, I’d go all-in and spend on genres and artists I felt I missed out on, plus insisting on giving my dealers a little extra for free records to keep them in business. That is what you call appreciation.

I’d tell myself to be patient and take all the time in the world for what I loved doing: staying in touch with myself. I’d build up my identity, to score style points, and separate myself from all the other vanilla people around me who “been there, done that”. Each and every record, tape, and disc I’d buy would be a beacon for me to shine on those who want to relate. They would all be ammunition for future playlists, broadcasts, and back-and-forth discussions on who-knows-what and what they don’t know.

In the end, I felt complete. I bought everything I wanted and did it all with no regrets. It’s the ultimate in self-care and the biggest favor I’ve ever done for myself.

Would I do this again? There’s always a shooting star’s possibility. I got it out of my system and things like these take a few years before I have a renewed urge to go for it. For now, there’s lots of titles I know I’ll never find in stores that I’ll find online. Should you ever have the chance to go all out and do a victory tour, do it. Do something guilt-free and with no regrets. Build yourself up, cross boundaries, take chances, and experience something that will stay with you forever. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

Locales:

Mr. Cheapo’s (Commack)

Record Stop

Sunday Records

Record Reserve

Looney Tunes

Needle & Groove

Infinity Records

High Fidelity

Mr. Cheapo’s (Mineola)

Innersleeve Records

Academy (Brooklyn)

Captured Tracks

Academy (Manhattan)

Purchases:

Jon Spencer Blues Explosion: Now I Got Worry CD

Keelhaul: Subject To Change Without Notice CD

Outrage: Disharmony Brings Harmony CD

Lost Highway motion picture soundtrack CD

Candlebox: Lucy CD

Heavens To Betsy: Calculated CD

Lou Reed: The Blue Mask CD

Type O Negative: Life Is Killing Me CD

Judgment Night motion picture soundtrack CD

Stabbing Westward: Darkest Days CD

Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories: Tails CD

Goo Goo Dolls: A Boy Named Goo CD

Candlebox: self-titled CD

Collective Soul: self-titled (clear yellow case) CD

Mad Season: Above CD

Sponge: Wax Ecstatic CD

Collective Soul: Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid CD

Stabbing Westward: Ungod CD

Stuttering John: self-titled CD

Lou Reed: Transformer CD

Wattstax: The Living World LP

Beat Street Volume 2 LP

Paul Simon: One-Trick Pony LP

Expose: Exposure CS

George Benson: The George Benson Collection Volume Two CS

Richard Marx: self-titled CS

Crusaders, The: Southern Comfort LP

Earl Klugh: Dream Come True LP

George Benson: Bad Benson LP

Brecker Bros., The: Straphangin’ LP

Hubert Laws: The San Francisco Concert LP

Crusaders, The: Images LP

Richard Tee: Strokin’ LP

Chuck Mangione: Feels So Good LP

Sonny Fortune: Infinity Is LP

George Benson: In Flight LP

Earl Klugh: Heart String LP

Hank Crawford: Don’t You Worry About A Thing LP

Tom Scott & The L.A. Express: Tom Cat LP

Crusaders, The: The Best Of The… LP

Ralph MacDonald: Counterpoint LP

Brecker Bros., The: self-titled LP

Force M.D.’s, The: “Itchin’ For A Scratch” 12″

West Street Mob: “Let’s Dance (Make Your Body Move)” b/w “Monster Jam” (ins.) 12″

Earl Klugh: Finger Paintings LP

Crusaders, The: Those Southern Nights LP

Sonny Fortune: Awakening LP

Depeche Mode: Black Celebration CD

Pig Destroyer: The Octagonal Stairway CD

Velvet Underground, The & Nico: self-titled CD

Rollins Band: Nice CD

Matthew Sweet: Altered Beast CD

Death: For The Whole World To See CD

Crowbar: Symmetry In Black CD

Cure, The: Disintegration CD

Menace II Society original motion picture soundtrack CD

Run DMC: Greatest Hits CD

Queen Latifah: Nature Of A Sista’ CD

X-Clan: Xodus CD

Gin Blossoms: New Miserable Experience CD

Matthew Sweet: 100% Fun CD

Indecision: To Live And Die In New York City CD

Rollins Band: Weight CD

Big Daddy Kane: Looks Like A Job For… CD

Pig Destroyer: Phantom Limb CD

Sisters Of Mercy: A Slight Case Of Overbombing CD

Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy: Hypocricy Is The Greatest Luxury CD

Porno For Pyros: self-titled CD

KRS-One: self-titled CD

Eric B. & Rakim: Let The Rhythm Hit ‘Em CD

Boogiemonsters: Riders Of The Storm: The Underwater Album CD

Vision Of Disorder: The Cursed Remain Cursed CD

Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend CD

Fugazi: Repeater + 3 Songs CD

Grandmaster Flash & Grandmaster Melle Mel & The Furious Five: Greatest Hits CD

Das EFX: Straight Up Sewaside CD

Jane’s Addiction: Ritual De Lo Habitual (censored) CD

Sponge: Rotting Pinata CD

Lost Boyz: Legal Drug Money CD

Dead Kennedys: Bedtime For Democracy CD

Rollins Band: Get Some Go Again CD

Pig Destroyer: Head Cage CD

Cure, The: Wish CD

Depeche Mode: Speak & Spell CD

New Jack City: original motion picture soundtrack CD

Ice-T: O.G. Original Gangster CD

EPMD: Business As Usual CD

Velvet Underground, The: White Light, White Heat CD

Depeche Mode: A Broken Frame CD

Higher Learning: original motion picture soundtrack CD

Pig Destroyer: Book Burner CD

Ice-T: “Ricochet” CD single

Sonic Youth: “Bull In The Heather” CD single

Halsey: If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power CD

My Bloody Valentine: MBV CD

Full Of Hell: Garden Of Burning Apparitions CD  

Koyo: Painting Words Into Lies CD

Every Time I Die: Radical CD

Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist: Alfredo CD

Pantera: Far Beyond Driven CD

Henry Rollins: Think Tank CD  

Presidents Of The United States Of America, The: self-titled CD

Pharcyde: Bizarre Ride II The Far Side CD  

Public Image Ltd.: Happy? CD

Verve Pipe, The: Villains CD

Velvet Acid Christ: Fun With Knives CD  

Psychopomps: Six Six Six Nights In Hell CD  

Kaada & Patton: Romances CD

Parquet Quarts / Parkay Quarts: Tally All The Things You Broke CD  

Nurse With Wound: The Sylvie And Babs High-Thigh Companion CD  

New York Dolls: self-titled CD  

Pure Disgust: self-titled CD

Diat: Positive Energy LP

Rogers Sisters, The: The Invisible Deck LP

Crusaders, The: Free As The Wind LP

Ronnie Laws: Flame LP

Earl Klugh: self-titled LP

Adrian Belew: Lone Rhino LP

Flora Purim: Open Your Eyes You Can Fly LP

Kurtis Blow: “The Bronx” 12″

Bruce Hornsby & The Range: “Mandolin Rain” 7”

Bruce Springsteen: “My Hometown” 7”

Starship: “Sara” 7”

Rolling Stones: “Harlem Shuffle” 7”

Whitney Houston: “Saving All My Love For You” 7”

Robbie Nevil: “C’est La Vie” 7”

Samantha Foxx: “Touch Me (I Want To Feel Your Body)” 7”

Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine: “Anything For You” 7”

Bananarama: “I Heard A Rumour” 7”

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts: “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” 7”

Bruce Springsteen: “I’m Going Down” 7”

Pressure: Your Rage EP 7”

Plan A Project: 532 Seconds Of… 7”

Truth Inside: self-titled 7”

Prince: “1999” b/w “How Come U Don’t Call” 7”

Re-Flex: “The Politics Of Dancing” b/w “Flex It” 7”

Normal, The: “TV Overdose” b/w “Warm Leatherette” 7”

Gary Numan: “I Die: You Die” b/w “Down In The Park” 7”

Pet Shop Boys: “It’s A Sin” b/w “You Know Where You Went Wrong” 7”

Robert Palmer: “Simply Irressistable” b/w “Nova” 7”

Pet Shop Boys: “What Have I Done To Deserve This” b/w “A New Life” 7”

Bananarama: “Cruel Summer” 7”

Belinda Carlisle: “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” 7”

Dead Or Alive: “Brand New Lover” 7”

Joan Jett: “Little Liar” 7”

Killing Joke: “Adorations” b/w “Exile” 7”

Mike & The Mechanics: “Silent Running (On Dangerous Ground)” b/w “Par Avion” 7”

Tone Loc: “Funky Cold Medina” 7”

Suzanne Vega: “Luka” 7”

Human League: “Don’t You Want Me” b/w “Seconds” 7”

Escape Club: “Wild Wild West b/w “We Can Run” 7”

Erasure: “Chains Of Love” b/w “Don’t Suppose” 7”

Don Henley: “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” b/w “Building The Perfect Beast” 7”

Starship: “We Built This City” b/w “Private Room” (ins.) 7”

Todd Rundgren: “Hello It’s Me” b/w “Cold Morning Light” 7”

Huey Lewis: “Stuck With You” b/w “Don’t Ever Tell Me That You Love Me” 7”

Stevie Winwood: “The Finer Things” 7”

Wings: “With A Little Luck” b/w Backwards” 7”

Robert Palmer: “Addicted To Love” b/w “Let’s Fall In Love Tonight” 7”

Bananarama: “Venus” b/w “White Train” 7”

Joan Jett: “I Hate Myself For Loving You” 7”

Mike & The Mechanics: “Through The Living Years” b/w “Too Many Friends” 7”

Stevie Winwood: “Higher Love” 7”

Don Henley: “Dirty Laundry” b/w “Lilah” 7”

J.J. Fad: “Supersonic” 12”

Black Moon: “I Got Cha Opin” b/w “Reality” 12”

Big Daddy Kane: Raw ‘91 12”

Kurtis Blow: “If I Ruled The World” 12”

Jeru The Damaja: “Come Clean” b/w “D. Original Dirty Rotten Scoundrel” 12”

Fu-Schnickens: “Ring The Alarm” 12”

Young MC: “Bust A Move” 12”

Chaka Khan: “Crush Groove (Can’t Stop The Street)” 12”

Big Daddy Kane: “I Get The Job Done” 12”

Double XX Posse, The: “Not Gonna Be Able To Do It” b/w “The Pure Thing” 12”

Domino: “Sweet Potato Pie” 12”

Masta Ace Incorporated: “Jeep Ass Niguh” b/w “Saturday Night Live” 12”

Fonda Rae: “Over Like A Fat Rat” 12”

River Ocean ft. India: The Tribal EP

Grandmaster & Melle Mel: “White Lines” b/w “Melle Mel’s Groove” 12”

DMX: “Born Loser” 12”

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five: “On The Strength” 12”

Anti Nowhere League, The: The Perfect Crime 12”

Mr. Mister: “Is It Love b/w “Broken Wings” 12”

Thompson Twins: “Lies” 12”

Roxette: “The Look” 12”

T’Pau: “Heart And Soul” 12”

Dire Straits: Extended Dance EP 12”

Flora Purim: “Stories To Tell” 12”

Raveonettes, The: Pe’Ahi 12”

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark: “If You Leave” b/w “La Femme Accident” 12”

Nu Shooz: ”Point Of No Return” 12”

Falco: “Vienna Calling” b/w “Rock Me Amadeus” 12”

Shirts, The: self-titled 12”

Belinda Carlisle: “I Get Weak” 12”

Captain Sensible: “Wot!” 12”

Young Gods, The: self-titled 12”

Men Without Hats: “The Safety Dance” 12”

Level 42: “Something About You” 12”

Killing Joke: “Sanity” b/w “Eighties” 12”

Pere Ubu: “The Art Of Working” 12”

Kraftwerk: The Man-Machine” 12”

Innocent, The: “Livin’ In The Street” 12”

XBXRX: “Gop Ist Minee” 12”

Cabaret Voltaire: The Crackdown 12”

Cars, The: Panorama 12”

Def Leopard: “Pour Some Sugar On Me” 7”

Cutting Crew: “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” 7”

Kim Carnes: “Bette Davis Eyes” 7”

Eurythmics: “Here Comes The Rain Again” 7”

Huey Lewis & The News: “If This Is It” 7”

Janet Jackson: “Nasty” 7”

OMD: “If You Leave” (Pretty In Pink) 7”

Lita Ford: “Kiss Me Deadly” 7”

Don Henley: “The Boys Of Summer” 7”

Berlin: “Take My Breath Away” (Top Gun) 7”

Starship: “Nothing’s Gonna’ Stop Us Now” (Mannequin) 7”

Glenn Frey: “You Belong To The City” 7”

Make Or Break: Down For Life e.p. 7”

Poverty Bay Saints: self-titled e.p. 7”

American Cheeseburger: self-titled e.p. 7”

Riistetyt: Tuomiopaiva e.p. 7”

After The Fall: Transitions e.p. 7”

Insult: self-titled e.p. 7”

American Nightmare: “Four Song Demo” 7”

Embrace The Kill b/w In Defence: split 7”

Wreck: Reap What You Sow e.p. 7”

Asinine Solution: My Dad’s A Goat! e.p. 7”

Degenerics, The: self-titled 7”  

Sexvid: Tania e.p. 7”

Steve Khan: Evidence 12”

Billy Cobham: Spectrum 12”

Crusaders, The: Chain Reaction 12”

Cheech & Chong: Los Cochinos@#!!* 12”

David Sanborn: Heart To Heart 12”

Spyro Gyra: Free Time 12”

Pat Metheny Group: self-titled 12”

Cars, The: Candy-O 12”

Paula & Carol: In The Magic Garden 12”

High Score: New Fuel 12”

Murder Suicide Pact: self-titled 12”

Insomnio: Happy Loneliness 12”

Ubasute: Tyranny Garden 12”

Terminal Youth: self-titled 12”

Sedatives: self-titled 12”

Sleeper Cell: self-titled 12”

High Card: Generation Y 12”

Massmord b/w Shades Of Grey: split 12”

Intensity: The Ruins Of Our Future 12”

R’N’R: self-titled 12”

Police Bastard: Traumatized 12”

Mrtva Budounost b/w Left In Ruins: split 12”

Still No Future: Under Pressure 12”

Krush Groove motion picture soundtrack LP

Spyro Gyra: Carnaval LP

David Sanborn: Taking Off LP

Lee Ritenour: Captain Fingers LP

Rasa: Everything You See Is Me LP

Ronnie Laws: Fever LP

Hubert Laws: Say It With Silence LP  

Earl Klugh: Living Inside Your Love LP  

Billy Cobham: Magic LP

George Benson: Blue Benson LP    

Nas: Life Is Good CD

Salt-N-Pepa: Very Necessary CD  

Craig Mack: Project: Funk Da World CD  

Notorious B.I.G., The: Ready To Die CD  

Tool: 10,000 Days (non-deluxe)  CD  

Live: Four Songs CD  

Bjork: Selmasongs CD  

Henry Rollins: Big Ugly Mouth CD

Hole: Live Through This CD  

Dead Kennedys: Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables CD  

Bad Brains: self-titled CD  

Posies, The: Dear 23 CD  

Les Savy Fav: Inches CD  

Savages: Adore Life CD  

Die Krupps: Odyssey Of The Mind CD  

Peaches: The Teaches Of Peaches CD  

VNV Nation: Matter + Form CD  

Cyberaktif: Temper CD  

Indecision: Release The Cure CD  

Dead Kennedys: In God We Trust, Inc. / Plastic Surgery Disasters CD

Live: Mental Jewelry CD

John Cougar Mellencamp: “Paper In Fire” 7”  

Bangles: “Hazy Shade Of Winter” 7

Mike & The Mechanics: “All I Need Is A Miracle” 7”

‘Til Tuesday: “Voices Carry” 7”  

Loverboy: “Working For The Weekend” 7”  

Glenn Frey: “The Heat Is On” 7”  

Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Wrap It Up” 7”  

John Cougar Mellencamp: “Small Town” 7”

Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Hot Dogs And Donuts CS

Madonna: The Immaculate Collection CS

Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Rollin’ With The Punches CS

Deodato: Artistry LP

Hank Crawford: We Got A Good Thing Going LP

Ronnie Laws: Friends And Strangers LP

Ron Carter: Blues Farm LP

Grandmaster Flash: “Flash To The Beat” 12”

Melle Mel & Duke Booty: “Message II (Survival)” 12”

Solitair ft. Choclair & Cardinal Offishall: “No Doubt” b/w “S.O.T.” 12”

Nu Shooz: “Point Of No Return” 12”

Techno Animal ft. El-P & Vast Aire: “We Can Build You” 12″

Frankie Goes To Hollywood: “Relax” 7”

System, The: “Don’t Desert This Groove” 7”

Deodato: Very Together LP

Lovebug Starski: “House Rocker” 12″

Black Dice: Load Blown sampler 12″

Buzzcocks: Spiral Scratch 12″ EP

Jon Lucien: The Best Of… LP

David Sanborn: Taking Off LP

Spyro Gyra: Morning Dance LP

Hubert Laws: Family LP

Gary Bartz: Love Affair LP

Richie Cole: Keeper Of The Flame LP

George Benson: Blue Benson LP

Robert Palmer: “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” 12″

Lou Reed: “No Money Down” 12″

Sugarhill Gang: “Sugarhill Groove” b/w “8th Wonder” 12″

Father MC: “Everything’s Gonna’ Be Alright” 12″

Billy Ocean: “Carribean Queen” 12″

Deodato: First Cuckoo 12″

Weather Report: Mysterious Traveller 12″

Chuck Mangione: Chase The Clouds Away 12″

Urbie Green: Senor Blues 12″

Sonny Fortune: With Sound Reason 12″

Herbie Mann: Waterbed 12″

Hubert Laws: Crying Songs 12″

David Newman: Mr. Fathead 12″

Al DiMeola: Elegant Gypsy 12″

Herbie Mann: Bird In A Silver Cage 12″

Richard Tee: Natural Ingredients 12″

Grover Washington. Jr.: Feels So Good 12″

David Sanborn: Promise Me The Moon 12″

David Newman: Newmanism 12″

Herbie Mann & Fire Band: self-titled 12″

Roy Ayers Ubiquity: Mystic Voyage 12″

Jackie Martling: Goin’ Ape 12″

Pop Will Eat Itself: Box Frenzy 12″

Freur: Doot Doot 12″

Treacherous Three: “Gotta Rock” b/w “Get Up”

Terror: One With The Underdogs CD

Every Time I Die: Gutter Phenomenon CD

Throwdown: Vendetta CD

Talking Heads: More Songs About Buildings And Food CD

Parliament: Up For The Downstroke CD

Joy Division: Closer CD

Cage: Hell’s Winter CD

Tha Alkaholiks: Coast To Coast CD

Goodie Mobb: Soul Food CD

Parliament: Trombipulation CD

Squarepusher: Ultavisitor CD

Batman Forever motion picture soundtrack CD

High School High motion picture soundtrack CD

Babes In Toyland: Painkillers CD

Every Time I Die: New Junk Aesthetic CD

Henry Rollins: A Rollins In The Wry CD

Deftones: Minerva CD

Parliament: Mothership Connection CD

Bootsy’s Rubber Band: Bootsy? Player Of The Year CD

Nitzer Ebb: That Total Age CD

Consolidated: Play More Music CD

Excessive Force: Blitzkrieg CD

Tool: 10,000 Days (deluxe) CD

Godflesh: Merciless CD

Devl: self-titled CD

Parliament: Motorbooty Affair CD

Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense CD

Vfanhthore: Tremebunda Calígine Regionalista CD

Sakrileg: self-titled CD

Sorgelig: Apostate CD

Rotten Age: Upadek Światłości CD

Tyrant Goatgaldrakona: Horns In The Dark CD

Sepulchral Cries: Misery Exhibits CD

Lihporcen: Illuminate CD

Sagverk: Sahataan Ne Kaikki CD

Sorgelig: Forever Lost CD

Volkein Blucht: To Consume The Darkness Whole... CD

Tragedy Begins: Kleos Aenaon CD

Unholy Desolation: The Age Of Lost Souls CD

Torvara: Killing Culture CD

Sacristy: 4444 CD

Svartsorg: Agonie Des Lichts CD

Evil Dee: Soundbombing (Mixed By…) CS

Kraftwerk: Autobahn CS

Poor Righteous Teachers: Holy Intellect CS

Dame: self-titled 7”

Malcomb McLaren: “Double Dutch” b/w “Hobo Scratch (She’s Looking Like A Hobo)” 12”

2 Live Crew: “Me So Horny” 12”

Jackie Martling: What Do You Expect? LP

Kurtis Blow: self-titled LP

Garbage: “When I Grow Up” CD single

Pearl Jam: “Dissident” CD single

Filter: “Welcome To The Fold” CD single

Animal Collective: Centipede Hz CD

Filter: Anthems For The Damned CD

Talking Heads: True Stories CD

Blind Melon: self-titled CD

Killing Joke: Democracy CD

Singles: motion picture soundtrack CD

Weezer: Pinkerton CD

Temple Of The Dog: self-titled CD

Seven Mary Three: American Standard CD

Folk Implosion, The: Dare To Be Surprised CD

Murs: 3:16, The 9th Edition CD

Double XX: Ruff, Rugged, & Raw CD

Aanomm: Dragging Hurtful Shame CD

Kveste + Neftaraka: Finis Coronat Opus CD

Alter Of Blood: Rehearsal 2018 CD

Cavus: The New Era CD

Darkness + Oltretomba: Horned, Winged And Grim CD

While They Sleep: La Nausee CD

Doden Grotte + Fullmoon Cult: Summon The Wolves Of War CD

Nostalgic War: self-titled CD

Pestem + Occulator: Bastards From Hell CD

Wraith: Shadows CD

Infernal Blast: Wolves Elitism Speech CD

Mordrean: Under The Black Frost CD

Iugulatus: Call Of The Horned God CD

Thantifaxath: self-titled CD

Basilisk: A Joyless March Through The Cold Lands CD

Darkness Creature: Darkness Do Mal CD

Nephilim: Klandestyn CD

Wolfenburg: self-titled CD

Blasphemus Crucifixion: Crude Burial CD

Dead To Earth + Volkein Blucht + Idvarp: Three Way Split CD

Berzabum: The Compilation To The Infernorum CD

Lich: Cryptic Stench CD

Hatefrost: Frozen Land CD

Bloodrain: De Vermis Mysteriis CD

Nazghor: Diabolical Teachings CD

Graven Dusk: self-titled CD

Neocortex: Es Liegt Die Welt In Scherben ‎ CD

Demonification: Obey The Antichrist CD

Cultus Funeris: Revertere Ad Locum Tuum CD

Liturgia Maleficarum: Totus Tuus CD

Mahdyhell: Conquerors of Hell (An Infernal Journey) CD

Neoheresy: Noc Ktora Dniem Sie Stala CD

Misanthrope: Noctivaga Tempestad De Inerme Conocimiento CD

Gestane: Dedicated To Total Devastation CD

Fornace: Deep Melancholic Wrath CD

Cultus Funeris: Revertere Ad Locum Tuum CD

Beheritbras: Goat Worshipping Blasphemic Metal CD

Freezing Blood + Widmo + The Sons Of Perdition: Desecration Rituals CD

Malaflame: Ca Del Diaol CD

* various artists: Nas Chamas Abismais Em Misantropia Luciferiana CD

Anger: Juvenile Anthems CD

25 Ta Life: Haterz Be Damned CD

Shai Hulud: Misanthropy Pure CD

Flipper: Generic CD

Nobodys: Hussy CD

Laughing Hyenas: Life Of Crime CD

Boysetsfire: After Thew Eulogy CD

Fugazi: Instrument Soundtrack CD

Toll: Christ Knows CD

Noisex: Over And Out CD

Leaether Strip: The Rebirth Of Agony CD

Hocico: Sangre Hirviente CD

Noisex: Serious Killer CD

Cobra Killer: Six Secs CD

Noisex: Groupieshock CD

Controlled Bleeding: Larva Lumps And Baby Bumps CD

Leaether Strip: Serenade For The Dead CD

Noisex: 1920.00 CD

Wolf Eyes + Black Dice: self-titled CD

Kraftwerk: Tour De France Soundtracks CD

Brandy: “Clown Pain” 7″

Spizzenergi: “Soldier Soldier” 7″

Asshole Parade: Asshole Parade 7″

Wayne County & The Electric Chairs: “Fuck Off” b/w “On The Crest” 7″

Brian Brain: “Jive” 7″

Poison Girls: “One Good Reason” 7″

Antiseen: “We Got This Far (Without You)” b/w “(We Will Not) Remember You” 7″

Instangd: Mitt Svar Pa Ingenting 7″

Love Child: Love Child Plays Moondog 7″

Throbbing Gristle: Greatest Hits 12″

Wee: You Can Fly On My Airplane white vinyl 12″

Yves/Son/Ace: “Parade Of Thoughts” b/w “Can’t Sleep” 12″

Lonnie Liston Smith & The Cosmic Echoes: Astral Travelling 12″

Sweeping Promises: Hunger For A Way Out 12″

Throbbing Gristle: Heathen Earth blue vinyl 12″

Robert Rental: Paralysis e.p. 12″

Shocked Minds: self-titled translucent orange 12″

Excepter: Self Destruction 12″

Pure Hell: Noise Addiction 12″

George Benson: Livin’ Inside Your Love 12″

Merissa Nadler: For My Crimes 12″

Cabaret Voltaire: Micro-Phonies 12″

No Parade: Ceaseless Fire 12″

Boogie Down Productions: By All Means Necessary CS

Apache: self-titled CS

Grand Puba: Reel To Reel CS

Kerith Murray: The Most Beautifullest Thing In This World CS

Terminator X: & The Valley Of The Jeep Beats CS

Ultramagnetic M.C.’s, The: Fruits Of Nature CS

Depeche Mode: Some Great Reward CD

Tom Tom Club: self-titled CD

Rollins Band: The End Of Silence CD

3rd Bass: Derelicts Of Dialect CD

Dead Prez: RBG CD

Men, The: Drift CD

John Spencer Blues Explosion, The: Acme CD

Boy Harsher: Country Girl (Uncut) LP

Hubert Laws: Then There Was Light LP

Hank Crawford: Tico Rico LP

Richard ‘Groove’ Holmes: Dancing In The Sun LP

Original Concept: Straight From The Basement Of Cooley High LP

Men, The: Devil Music LP

Stepdad SS: Mad About It LP

Vaaska: Ruido Hasta La Muerte LP

Institute: Re-Adjusting The Locks LP

Spoonie Gee: Godfather Of Rap LP

Kool Moe Dee: “Death Blow” 12”

Test Dept.: Compulsion (Machine Run) 12″

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich: “Kick The Bobo” 12”

Professor Griff & The Last Asiatic Disciples: Pawns In The Game 12”

Kool Moe Dee: “They Want Money” 12”

Queen Latifah: “Ladies First” 12”

Public Enemy: “Give It Up” 12”

Kool Moe Dee: “Wild Wild West” 12”

Heavy D. & The Boys ft. various artists: “Don’t Curse” 12”

Glam: self-titled 7”

Perdition: self-titled 7”

Soaker: self-titled 7”

Strutter: self-titled 7”

Hombrinus Dudes: self-titled 7”

Deformed Conscience: self-titled 7”

25 Rifles: History Of Flags 7”

Funeral Shock: Paint Thinner 7”

Vagra: Refuse 7”

River City Tanlines: “The Devil Made Me Do It” b/w “Nothing Means Nothing Anymore” 7”

Shizuo: “Sweat” b/w “Stop It”

Code-13 b/w DS-13 split 7”

Billy Ocean: “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car” 7”

Stacey Q: “Two Of Hearts” 7”

Miami Sound Machine: “Bad Boy” 7”

Cameo: “Word Up” 7”

Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz: “Deja Vu” CS

Who’s The Man motion picture soundtrack CS

Ata Kak: Obaa Sima CS

Jon Lucien: Premonition LP

Ron Carter: Peg Leg LP

Ramsey Lewis: Love Notes LP

Hubert Laws & Earl Klugh: How To Beat The High Cost Of Living LP

Weather Report: Tale Spinnin’ LP

Olympic Runners: Don’t Let Up LP

Bootsy’s Rubber Band: Stretchin’ It Out In… LP

Jeff Lorber Fusion, The: self-titled LP

Blackbyrds: Unfinished Business LP

Herbie Mann: Sunbelt LP

Hank Crawford: Cajun Sunrise LP

Kool Moe Dee: Knowledge Is King LP

Blank Stare: self-titled LP

Police, The: “Every Breath You Take” 7”

Simple Minds: “Don’t You Forget About Me” 7”

Bangles, The: “In Your Room” 7”

Thompson Twins: “Hold Me Now” 7”

Janet Jackson: “Let’s Wait A While” 7”

Kim Carnes: “Bette Davis Eyes” b/w “Miss You Tonight” 7”

Alan Vega: Mutator CD

Marissa Nadler: The Path Of The Clouds CD

561 selections / $3,001.00 (USD).

#personal #music #Long Island #NYC #New York City #Brooklyn #BK #mixtapes #reviews #playlists #omega #wow #whoa #damn #GTFO

[somewritingexercises]

16th

Am I a husk again? Unsure. Definitely not fully husked but definitely not fully unhusked. I’m tired of the pandemic and pandemic life. I hasten to add that I’m not the main victim, I don’t know why I feel the need to leap in with that, guilt over others facing so much worse I suppose, but important to not invalidate my own distress either. Anyway. Writing prompt is to write about a deja vu experience. I thought I didn’t have one but I remembered I do.

Every fall when I start back to teaching I see seniors around campus who graduated the previous spring, and sometimes the spring before that, and I always take a long time to realize that I’m not actually seeing them, they’re mental mirages, visual echoes of past relationships in that place, projected on the blank faces of strangers. It happens so often, every year I think.

Memory oddness - amid the pandemic nightmare I walk into a room, forget why I walked in the room, and I get lost in a foggy mental pause. Speaking on which I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, too late and I am too tired so I’ll call this for now.

16th continues, deja vu experience - I don’t have any other but I have for years, though far less often these last few years, periodically had the experience where something happening now feels like a memory and I think I dreamed it. I looked this up once and I think it had a name and the explanation was that it was some sort of brain error of treating something experienced now as a memory, internal filing error basically. When it used to happen I would often have a short internal memory of my next action and the acts that followed from there and would wonder if I did the thing I “remembered” doing would lead to the rest of what I “remembered” and so I would never do the thing I “remembered” doing because I didn’t want it to be real.

What else. Rain tonight. Hotter day today than expected. Weather-wise I mean, not in terms of my attractiveness. Ha. Hmm.

My mother recently mailed me my college diploma. What a strange artifact, hard to care much but hard to completely stop caring entirely and so throw it away. I wonder if a similar headspace is why my mom sent it to me! Though knowing her she may well be sentimental about it and sentimentally want me to have it. Unclear which.

Hating all of what I’ve typed. Not hating. Disliking. Not disliking so much as not actively liking it, wishing to do so, wanting to write something I like, wanting to write better, treating those last two as synonyms when they are at most only partly related. I think some of this is just situational - mood, accumulated exhaustion - and some of it’s authorial and readerly in that I’ve been writing for a while for the sake of analyzing things and reading similarly, I’ve not written anything for the craft and read in the same spirit for a hot minute. If the dissatisfaction I’m feeling artistically (narcissistically?) has any worthwhile takeaway point it’s that I should read and write more in a craft way, in a way for its own sake rather than instrumentally. Alright, message to self received! Stop your messing around, time you straighten right out.

As I’ve said before I crave a state of paying attention, a flow state I think really, and simultaneously crave the cessation of self-awareness and restlessness - a reduction in excess attention (turned attention of the wrong type). It’s hard in context though because I am both restless and tired, and those pull in different directions, very easy to satisfy one (to some extent I mean, more like soothe one) but doing so comes at the expense of worsening the other.

I typed most of that last paragraph and a spider came running out at me, I’d call it a large small spider - as large as can be while still small, so to speak - and pale. Headed straight toward me. No thought at all, all reflex, I smashed it with my hand. I feel bad for it and don’t celebrate this action. Immediately after I felt so alert, small rush of adrenaline or whatever the brain chemicals are. If that focused alertness could be bottled...!

In any case, restless and tired. I suppose this means the route back to satisfaction will take a bit and perhaps be circuitous, or will involve a lot of annoyance as I can’t prioritize incompatible needs in a way that satisfies them both at the same time, so it has to be a process over time.

Too abstract, too in my own head, needs a new writing prompt.

Alright, prompt is a time someone gave you advice.

In high school I got a job at a fast food place. My girlfriend at the time worked at a different place owned by the same owners, in my mind she helped me get the job but I don’t remember now. I know we worked at the same store one night, maybe two, and made out in the back. I now wonder how good of a boyfriend I was, I sometimes think I was feral much of my life. A lot of people are. I think men especially, though I’m not sure. Anyway, advice.

Once in a while I worked with an older guy who I recall being named Mike though this is over 25 years ago now and at the moment it’s late and I’m tired. In my memory Mike is an older guy, though I’d bet he was 20, 24, an age I’d now sometimes catch myself, unfairly, referring to as “a kid.” Mike came in with a Lollapalooza shirt on one day then put on his uniform - did that happen or am I making it up? I honestly can’t tell; I know we talked about Lollapalooza for sure - and he had gone the year Ministry played (so tempted to google what year; stay in the chair!) and at the time I was very into Ministry up through Psalm 69, loved that guitar sound - still do! - though I was also getting to be too punk to admit to liking things beyond punk. So silly. My point is Mike was cool and I got animated, loved talking with him about music because I loved music, especially live music, and I could tell he did too, and at some point he mentioned going to see Janet Jackson or some other woman popstar and I was dismissive and he said “Nate, just enjoy things!” and then added something like “if it sounds good to someone and they like it, that’s all that matters, if you like something just like it, and focus on liking things, who cares beyond that?” I now - literally just now as I type this - think Mike was expressing a version of I would now think of as poptimism and expressing exasperation with my rockism.

I don’t recall where I heard or read those terms and I’m not 100% sure I’m using them in a non-idiosyncratic way (I live so much of my life worrying about being inadvertently idiosyncratic!). At this point I am far less rockist, in the sense of worried about authenticity and so on, but I do care a great deal about underground/DIY music, music by people with day jobs, played and circulated at a far smaller scale than big pop acts (and for that matter, rock acts). But people should like what they like.

I don’t know that I took Mike’s advice to heart much but I think I did think he had a point at a minimum of not being negative about other people’s excitement, which is a good point to steer by generally speaking.

Probably a more interesting direction would be to write about making out in the back of the fast food joint - I guess I still don’t like what I’m writing! but I did get momentarily into a flow state here and there while typing that, mission accomplished! - but I’m too old for it to be okay writing about the sexual lives of teenagers, even if I happened to be one of those teenagers. Anyway I did the prompt, that’s all this is!

Other thoughts shaken loose by this:

- a young woman co-worker sneezing while taking a customer’s order, saying “oh excuse me!” then adding “it’s flu season!” in a chipper voice

- a young man co-worker talking constantly, almost literally constantly, about sex, describing walking in on his aunt and uncle mid-intercourse while at a holiday resort, some conversation where he talked about how terrible semen must taste and the “it’s flu season!” co-worker interjecting that it tasted like salt water

- a customer who worked nights at a factory nearby who would come in and chat with us while we made his order, I place him around Mike’s age, the general category of older but cool and retroactively a kid; I later move away to college and am told by my then-girlfriend that this guy went to prison for killing someone at an ATM in the process of robbing them

- another young man co-worker, physically small and very funny, occasionally interacting with his sister by phone, and her coming in to the place once, always very acidly and full of profanity, each telling the other “eat a dick!” in a tone of contempt

- driving home at night after work, do I remember this or am I just drawing on a wealth of night time driving memories? I can’t tell. It’s hard to pinpoint very many in particular but it was such a very common occurrence in my life. Weighing against the idea that I remember driving home specifically from this job is that I’m not entirely sure what car I drove. Did I have three cars before we had children? I think so. Two of them before graduating college. One night I do remember driving home: come over a hill, rural road, going fast - the speed limit, but fast - and two raccoons were in the road, no time for any of us to react, ran over both of them, loud thump and crunch sounds. Horrible. Another night, this time my mom in the car too: a deer leaping out and me getting lucky, it colliding with the side of the car and in a glancing way I think, trying to turn, not really damaging the car, then the headlights of the car behind us flashing I think because the deer had stepped into the road and hit the deer, its body blocking the lights for a moment causing the flash effect, that car pulling over behind us. Another night: a broken strut on a front wheel of my car, my dad driving out to fix it enough at the road side to let me drive home. How did I call him? Pay phone, I assume, this was pre-cell phone. Another night: a high school friend driving me home - or driving us both to his house? I don’t remember - after play practice, and he zoning out - falling asleep at the wheel? - and as we came up to an intersection I said “red light” tentatively” then “Red Light! RED LIGHT!” and he only heard me after I shouted, then, alert, stopped in time and safely enough. We laughed about it after. I wouldn’t now, if I were the driver anyway, and the thought of young people doing so now, considered from my own middle aged position, is worrying.

Enough now, just an exercise after all.

Looking at Scrivener, the two Scrivener Projects I write in have between them a total of 929,000 words. That includes to-do lists and whining in a journal, and doesn’t include some things I wrote and lost or never bothered to keep copies of etc. (I wrote on the bus to work years back, trying to have ideas, trying to get out of writers block; that bus writing, for instance, is gone as well.) A million words is a fair estimate. Proud of that in a sort of ‘I spent a lot of time’ kind of way. I think my rate of committing words to the electronic page has declined but I type and think faster now as well. Less life-time for art and intellect, better use of that time when I do take the time. Strikes and gutters. We play the hand we’re dealt, to mix the metaphor. (Someone should invent a bowling-themed card game so the mixed metaphor becomes unmixed! I deserve this!) I wonder if eight years from now I’ll be at 2 million. I like the thought, just keep going. Quantity is job number one. Quality is an emergent property of time spent. That said, I likely could spend my time more thoughtfully as well.

But enough enough, just an exercise!

[muffindaddystyles]

Soft dom harry makes subby reader upset subspace?

MEANIE ANGRY H :D BUCKLE UP FELLAS

Y/N's day is been shitty so far. It started with an ache in her lower abdomen from Harry’s morning stiffy bulging against her asscheeks fattening everytime he snuggled into her to hoard her warmth and blankies and to stuff his face in her neck with incoherent blabbering.

She wanted to wake him up with her hand, mouth, hole— anything around his cock and to please him and dull the burny feeling in her tummy -- but -- she had an important workshop at UNI that was must needed to be attended.

The time she managed to knock herself out of her needy and lusty headspace, she was getting late and whirling around the room and closest like a thunderstorm -- burying a snoring Harry under the heaps of clothes and littering the floor with her shoes collection, the kitchen got treated much more worst with maids being not around (she’s used to Harry waking up earlier than her and making her a full course brekkie) after making a laughable ruckus of cabinets all she stuffed her mouth with was a chocolate protein bar.

The stars were still not in her favour. She was grabbing onto her hair until far when she missed the bus (she usually don’t take buses, Harry makes sure the driver drop her off safe and secure) and it started raining leaving Y/N with nothing but a bare head to take all of it as she already left the bus shelter to stop a taxi.

If all of that wasn’t much of a tragedy and humiliating, Y/N slipped the moment she stepped out of the vehicle and on the slippery curbs of the building, she saw her life flashing right infront of her eyes as the papers tucked in her armpit fled everywhere and landed on the rainy mud sadistically along her. It gave her a serious hit in her ankle and completely yanked her hip, still being a stubborn-head she picked herself and went inside despite how many glares the cleaning staff threw her way for bringing the dirt with her feed all over the shiny floors.

She felt bad.

Stupidly bad.

Her workshop teachers were kind enough to accept her late arrival, but her designs for fall got rejected and they’d have been a huge milestone for her to get her dream internship.

Y/N felt awfully, teeny, pathetic and little while slumping into the corner of the bus and holding her breath to refrain from crying these little liquidy bitches out of her eyes.

Reaching back home she was met with pure chaos, bumping into petrified and agitated employs from Harry’s company scurrying out of their main foyer and she could persist but to ask what happened only to be informed in stammers that the staff messed up big and caused a loss of million dollars— making Harry terribly mad and fire people left and right.

It wasn’t a joke at all.

Because once, she steps inside, bag falling from her shoulder as she sighs in exhaustion feeling her muscles stiffening everywhere but one particular spot's hurting wrenchingly— her foggy mind couldn’t figure it out yet. She peeks into Harry’s home office to be met by a very annoyed, aggrieved, furious Harry pacing in his office all whilst with a phone against his ear shouting at someone who was destined to be humiliated today just like her and she pouts gingerly seeing his features skewered tightly into displeasure, the vein that curves along his temple prominent with blood pumping erratically in his body.

His head snaps up at the door’s creak and albeit his eyes softens a little, the kink of brows and the scowl on his lips is still there and he watches her paddle towards him carefully knowing anything at the moment would burst his chimneys out and she wants to be good for her daddy.

“Hi.” She speaks timidly, pout getting more rusty when the greetings not returned and instead he keeps all of his attention on the phone keeping a loose arm around her.

She grumbles, when he gestures down at her to give him a sec and untangles himself from her walking away and huffing and puffing into the phone.

How could he!

She feels so denied and rejected and kicked like it’s done to those affection starved lil puppies.

Her clingy tendencies flying high drunk and wooly. The needy beastie inside her wanting nothing more than take a bath where Harry could cream her back in her favourite berry bubbles, massaging her head and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, then lots and lots of cuddles, maybe he'll be generous enough and let her keep him snug inside her while they watch movie because she had such an awful day.

But, No! He's trying to escape free from her because she’s such a burden for him now.

Her eyes turns glassy, her shoulders slumping sadly and out of nowhere she’s feeling cold and barren as Harry’s voice becomes a wafting fume for her— an indication she has gone under too much.

“Daddy . . .” She stomps behind him, circling his footsteps like a whiny puppy and grapples at his dress shirt gasping sullenly when he swats her dainty hands away and glares down at her in dominance, his tone harsh as he blocks the receiver with his palm and mouths at her with a huff, “Stop being needy fo’ once. I’ve clearly some important issues to care for, Y/N.” Poor Y/N's deathly grip on his shirt loosens sorrowfully and her chin wobbles as she nodded still wanting to be good for him and if it wasn’t enough to give her the biggest heartbreak of the year— he even rolled his eyes at her too grumping under his breath about something how he turned her into a spoiled brat himself.

“Okie. . .” Her voice strangled and small. She shrinks into herself but wasn’t paid any heed from Harry and without another word she leaves him as to be it.

Having a huge breakdown in her room didn’t help at all. A painful headache hitting her like a train as she clumsily strips down, wearing one of his t-shirt heavily drenched in his scent he keeps for her under her pillow anytime she needs it and hides under the blankets with tears still running down her swollen cheeks— slipping into a light slumber from all of weariness and crying.

Once the smoke cleared from Harry’s mind and his capabilities of rational thinking coming back to him, he was reminded of how he denied his baby of his littlest of affection and tenderness when she clearly looked so glum and sad and upset.

He wanted to whip himself in head.

He’s such a twat that he let work come between them.

He curses himself. Making a sprint to his bedroom, knowing he’d find her none other than there and he was right puffing out a disheartened sigh when his eyes falls over his princess buried under all of these layers of blankets, he crawls up towards her carefully not to startle her awake.

Grunting at himself when he finds she’s been crying, he strokes a thumb up her blushy cheeks and her wet lashes, kissing her puffy eyelids and her little sad unhappy pout away.

He frowns. Feeling her feverish and flushed under his hand, “Hey puppy . . .” He thumbs down her throat getting a little fretful when she doesn’t stirs, however she’s such a squirmy little one and he moves the blankets away to let her body cool itself smiling proudly at his shirt swallowing her whole is when she snuggled herself more into her stuffie letting the shirt ride up her thighs and hips exposing a ghastly bruise of red and purples and he frowns not remembering it being there before.

Now. He feels shittier. Wanting to jump of the cliff for being a shitty sadist boyfriend to his only beloved.

“No!” Y/N whimpers loudly, squirming away from his touch as he examines her gently and it sent shockwaves to each of her tissues and lions causing her an undeniable pain.

“Puppy, shh, shh. ‘s just me, making sure if y'okay.” He scrambles closer to her towering her to cradle her face and kiss the tip of her nose—- his face falls drastically and his heart cracks miserly when Y/N pushes him away with a sorrowful mumble not even letting him wipe the drool away from the corner of her mouth as he usually does.

“’M okay . . .” She tries to knuckle the sleepiness away with shivery hands, “No you’re not —...” He’s cut off by her angry pout and her silly efforts to keep as much distance between them as possible, “I don’t need, Daddy . . ‘m big and I could take care of me self.” At her puny waver realization dawns upon Harry and his brows shoots up to his hairline feeling nauseous and terrible for not taking care of his babylove earlier.

He’d have never let her be away from him if he knew she was in her subspace.

“Y/N baby . . . I didn’t mean it, darling —--...” With gentleness he tries to approach her but she wraps her arms around her petite figure in a protective manner, haziness taking best of her and Harry’s chest suffocates into itself, being a dom it’s your responsibility to make your subby feel protected, loved and happy and he even failed at that.

He quickly cups both of her hot cheeks in his nippy palms when she hiccups sadly, a sob threatening to slip out, “Yes you did! You meant it. Said you spoiled me, I don’t want your money, promise! I just want you and y'shooed me away saying Y/N’s too needy . . .” Harry flinches at her words. He never even spared a thought to this negativity that she chooses to be with him for his money because he knows out of all the people she’s the only one who loves him out of the boundaries of status and money.

He realises how stabbing they'd have been to her when she was so sensitive and floaty wanting nothing more, just him.

How deep she has gone if she’s taking her own name in third person.

“’M sorry baby. So sorry. Swear on myself, didn’t mean to hurt my baby, knows tha’ work shouldn’t be an excuse t’ make y'feel unloved—- but those bastards got a tick outta me.” He rambles on frantically. Afraid she’ll think he’s lying and would finally make up her mind to leave him.

“You didn’t?” She asks with so much innocence Harry nearly cries out, “’Course I didn’t! How could I? You could never be needy, Bab. I love you so much and you’re my whole word, forgive me please?”

“You’re forgiven,” She let a small smile flutter up her features, a tinge of gleam in her previous dull eyes brightening the whole room and Harry immediately bunches her up in his lap.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks her, not sure if she still needs space from him and would rather be better without him but she bobs her head shyly and he chuckles softly before touching their lips together into a tender loving kiss and brushes their noses up and down murmuring sweetly coy to her.

“Now, could y'tell daddy how y'got this bruise baby? How did ya get hurt?” He coos, brushing her sweaty hair back and rubs her sweet gland behind her ear delicately, “Oh yeah . . . this, was raining and slipped.” She murmurs, hissing a gasp jolting away when Harry glides his fingers gently down her hip bone and fresh tears springs in her eyes as she buries herself in his chest, “Daddy hurts. . .” . “Oh babypie. Daddy’s g'na take care of his love.” He lays her down gently kissing her forehead when she whines for him to keep on holding her, “’M right here darling. G'na prep us a bath, make my baby alright.” Saying this he quickly disappears inside the washroom and next their room’s sursuring with marble tub filling with warm water, Harry throws in her favourite pink coloured bath bombs and rose essences and throws their towels in the warmer coming back with her as he left her to be, he has decided he’s gonna love on her whole night, “My baby’s the best, ain’t she? She’s my bestest girl.” He coos down at her sweetly and slides his forearms under her knees and back picking her up carefully and brings her to his chest securely.

She closes her eyes, biting down a whimper when Harry dips them in the water some it sloshing down the edges of bathtub and it envelopes them and gives a stingy feeling to her bruise before soothing it down.

He rubs her arms, and circles smoothing patterns on her tummy and kisses her a gallons as she melts in his embrace and he let’s her sink into him more, nibbling and sponging wet ticklish kisses on her neck making her purr and become a puddle of softness in his hold while she takes her time to mumble all the bad events that happened to her and he felt so guilty of not asking her how she’s and how her day went when she came to him, in need of some of his lovin.

“I love you so much, bab.” He suckles her earlobe, toying and plucking her bottom plush lip, “Was prick to me love —.. you deserve all my lovin,” He noses at her jaw, not forgetting it to mark it with his pecks and sloppy bites.

“’S okay daddy, y'had a bad day too.” He’s grateful to have her in his life. She cares about him, maybe more than he does for her and he feels himself lucky for it.

“You want me to help you relax?”

“Can I have you?” Her tone bashfully desperate and coy, Harry meanders their fingers together and kisses her knuckles softly.

Considering her wound still being sore and pulp, having sex would be painful for her and she might not grasp it in her hazy mind but Harry doesn’t want to hurt at all.

He plants a little noisy smooch to her shoulder when she nods, she mews and purrs when Harry glides his palm all the way down her body and cups her pussy digging his palm into her mound and coats his digits with her arousal dipping the pads of his fingers into her entrance, “All this wet f'me?” Palming her tits while whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she gasps and closes up on Harry scratching nails into his bended knees.

“Shh, shh puppy, jus' relax hmm? Feel yourself.” With sputtery inhales she does as he says, soon two of his fingers slips inside her and he strokes her pussy and pulls them out making her all whiny and pushes them back with a squelching noise, fucking her with it smiling and stopping when her thighs parts falls again his’s completely.

“Daddy!” She writhes and whines, trembly hands trying to bring Harry fingers back to her pulsating wetness, “You’re the cutest.” He smiles against her lips giving her cheeks several squishes and pats her head loving to see his adorable princess all flustery for him.

On her demands. He slicks his fingers back inside her and caresses the insides of her thighs while she pants and sinks onto his knuckles blabbering out daddydaddydaddy weepily.

“Cum fo’ me, puppy. Feels good? Yeah? My baby feels nice?” He rasps in her mouth, curving and petting the soft spot inside her pussy and sucks onto her upper lip when she moans and mewls loudly gushing all over his finger and he keeps on fucking her till she’s all sleepy and balmy against his chest.

Harry coaxes her tenderly, smoothing his hands all over her twitchy spots and patches sloppy kisses all over her face that makes her all giggly and shy—- the amount of endorphins spiking high in her system.

“Love you so much, daddy.” She mushes puckering her lips into his throat.

“Love you too, pup.”

#dom harry x subby y/n #dom harry x sub reader #dom!h x sub!reader #dom!h x sub!y/n #dom harry #harry styles fanfic #harry styles story #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #cute harry #harry styles #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #harry angst #hsh

[foreverindreamlandd]

also!! thinking about Oak taking care of Bucky after something happens at work? maybe a concerning call and Bucky gets mildly hurt? I’m just a sucker for some hurt/comfort tbh but heavy emphasis on the comfort

Ask and you shall receive :,)

Pairing: Firefighter!Bucky x Fem!Plus Size!Adopted Rogers!Reader

WC: 1.4

Warnings: Mentions of injury, burn, death, fire, angsty as allll hell (not my fault this time)

A/N: Takes place six months after epilogue. Also very much unedited so sorry for spelling mistakes!

You knew as soon as you saw the Caller ID read Station that something was wrong.

Neither Bucky nor Steve called you directly from the landline.

They also didn’t call you suddenly at 11pm.

“Hello?” you answered, unable to hide the edge in your voice.

“He’s okay.” It was Steve.

All of the air rushed out of your lungs as you let out the breath you had been holding.

Still, you could hear the strain in his voice, the exhaustion that didn’t come from lack of sleep, and therefore you couldn’t let go of the worry pulsing through your veins. “What’s wrong, Steve?”

You were there in 15 minutes.

Steve was at the door to meet you, his mouth pressed in a thin line as you ran over to hug your brother. He squeezed you a little more tightly than usual before pulling back.

His eyes were bloodshot.

“Come on, he’s upstairs.”

The station was almost entirely empty, save for a couple of fighters who were on call for the night. They were in the garage cleaning up after what had happened.

“It was one of the worst I’ve seen in a long, long time, Y/n,” Steve had said on the phone as you were rushing to your Jeep.

You walked through the eerily quiet kitchen and common room on the second floor, following Steve until he walked into one of the bunk rooms. 

As soon as you peered in, you felt your heart cleave in two.

Bucky was sitting on the edge of one of the bottom bunks, still dressed in his navy uniform that was covered in ash and dirt. His head was hung low, staring lifelessly at his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

His left forearm was wrapped in a dirty rag, and you felt an ache in your chest at the sight of it.

“Buck got burned really bad, but he won’t let anyone look at it. He won’t move, won’t speak. He’s in total shock, Y/n. I’ve never seen him like this. Not even….not even after Winnie.”

Unable to take your eyes off him, you felt Steve rest a hand on your shoulder before stepping away.

Tears welled in your eyes as you slowly made your way to the bunk, softly sitting to Bucky’s right.

His gaze never left his hands, which you now noticed were trembling.

You rested a hand on his back, thumb stroking the stiff muscles. “Buck?” you whispered out.

His jaw tightened, and his eyes closed at the sound of your voice, but all he could do was shake his head in response.

Your eyes went down to the rag. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want, but can you at least let me check on this?”

Though it seemed impossible, Bucky’s body grew more tense. Then, he spoke. “‘M fine.”

His voice was raw, broken, anything but fine.

Your hand moved to brush a piece of hair out of his ash-covered face, then cradled his cheek.

“Bucky, look at me,” you said, tone still soft but more demanding this time.

Slowly, he turned to meet your gaze, those beautiful blue irises filled with pure agony.

“Please let me take care of this, baby,” you said, giving him a small side-smile. “For my sake?”

His red-rimmed eyes shone as he nodded once, and you removed the rag as painlessly as possible, not that Bucky gave any indication that he felt anything.

You blinked back tears as you inspected the burn that started at his pinky finger and ran all the way up his elbow, wishing that you could rest your hand over it to make it all go away. 

But that wasn’t going to happen. It was bad, and he needed medical attention.

That wasn’t an option right at this moment, so you moved to the kitchen to grab a first-aid kit and ran a clean towel under cold water, silently praying that you could do the best you could now and after that have gotten through to your person.

“This is going to hurt,” you said as you pressed the cold towel to the burn. Again, Bucky showed no reaction other than a slight tightening of his jaw.

It wasn’t until you started wrapping a bandage around his arm that he spoke again. “Steve told you.”

You pressed your lips together and looked up at him, nodding. His eyes were on the ground. “Steve told me,” you whispered.

“So you know it’s my fault.” 

The ache in your chest grew tenfold and you lowered the bandages. 

“It was not your fault-”

“If I had just been faster-” his voice was a little louder this time.

“You got her kids out, Bucky-”

“AND NOW THEY DON’T HAVE THEIR MOM ANYMORE,” he shouted, head whipping over at you with frantic, tear-filled eyes. His breathing had gone ragged, hands shaking. 

A single tear rolled down your cheek and you saw guilt wash over Bucky’s features from yelling at you, and he looked back down to the ground in shame.

Unable to hold back any longer, you got up from the bed and knelt down in front of Bucky, looking up at him. You cradled his face in your hands and tilted it up until his eyes met yours once more.

“Bucky,” you started, fighting to keep your voice from cracking. “You are one man, one, who saved three kids today. You put your own life at risk by going all the way up that building even when it seemed impossible, and you got them out.” His bottom lip began to quiver and you wiped the tears falling down his face with your thumbs. “I know you think it’s your fault but it’s not, baby. Steve told me the gas explosion should have taken everyone out way before you even got there, so the fact that you got so many people out is amazing. You did everything that you could, and now those kids have a chance at life that they almost didn’t get. And you’re-” your voice broke, “You’re here, with me, and you’re okay. There’s nothing I could be more grateful for than that.”

You leaned up and pulled Bucky’s face closer until your lips pressed against his. As soon as you kissed him, any resolve he was holding onto crumbled, and he let out a weak sob against your mouth. You got up to your feet and brought his head to your chest as his right arm wrapped around you, clinging to you as he wept. Your fingers ran through his hair and you kissed the crown of his head, whispering that it was okay, that you were there.

It would take a while for him to realize that, but you would keep reminding him until he finally believed you.

After a few minutes, once Bucky began to calm down, you pulled away and grabbed a nearby box of tissues. You took one out and held it over his nose, the corners of your mouth twitching as you demanded, “Blow.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide, and then he let out a loud bark of laughter while you burst into giggles. He took the tissue from your hand and did as you requested.

The atmosphere felt a little lighter as you finished wrapping up his arm, and instead of looking at the ground, Bucky’s eyes remained on you as you worked.

“Thank you,” he finally mumbled after a while and you smiled. 

“Anything for you, Bucky,” you said, repeating the words you said to each other constantly. “Now can you do something for me?”

He nodded. “Anything.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and looked at his arm. “Can you let me take you to a hospital to get this properly looked at?”

Bucky let out a soft sigh, then nodded. The two of you stood up, but before you left the room, he grabbed your arm and spun you around to face him, right arm wrapping around you.

“I love you so, so much Oak,” he murmured, and your arms squeezed around him, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too, Bucky," you whispered into his chest. "And I’ll always be here for you. Always.”

In the Embers Masterlist

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #in the embers #ite #plus size reader

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

#mikey x male reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x male reader #sano manjiro x reader #sano manjirou x male reader #sano manjirou x reader #sano manjiro #sano manjirou #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #baji keisuke #chifuyu matsuno

[ageofbarbarians]

First Dates // D.R.W

AgeOfBarbarians

Summary: Y/N gets set up for a blind date with a total asshole, credits to one of their friends. The night is going terribly until she meets a handsome stranger at the bar... 

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! Strangers to Lovers Danny! Unprotected Sex, Oral (f receiving), Slight Bondage, Use of Whips, Language, Alcohol Consumption, uhm.. I think that’s it?

Word Count: 5.8K

M A S T E R L I S T

“It was crazy! That part was one of the wildest parties I’ve ever been to, especially for a work function. We probably spent a couple grand putting that thing together. Not that it was a huge deal considering that’s like loose change to me, but it was still wild.” The guy in front of you laughed. You pulled a fake smile before taking a sip of your drink.

You were on one of the worst blind dates of your life. You had been going on dates for a while, just trying to find somebody who made you genuinely happy. You were so tired of the shitty dates that lead to one-night stands and you would never hear from them again. It was exhausting. This guy though? He was the worst to fucking date. So far he has just talked about himself the entire night, about how much money he makes like it’s some huge deal, all of the lame-ass parties he’s been to and he hasn’t even let you get a word in edge-wise. He ordered your food for you, never even stopping to ask what you wanted. At one point he had even mentioned something about a girl he had slept with and proceeded to talk about it in vague detail. You were over it, this guy was nothing but one giant red flag.

“Sounds crazy.” You nodded your head and looked around the restaurant, trying to avert your attention elsewhere.

“It was! I mean who knew an office party could get that wild? There weren’t really any women there so that’s probably why. No drama.” He nodded his head and you just looked at him, raising your brows. Are you actually fucking serious?

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, finishing off your drink. You needed to find a way to get out of here but you didn’t want to be rude and just leave. Granted this guy deserved every little bit of it but that just wasn’t you.

“Will you excuse me?” You smiled softly and stood up to make your way to the bathroom. He just shrugged and nodded his head. You sighed as you walked to the bathroom. You debated on grabbing another drink since you had to walk past the bar but you decided against it. On the way, you made eye contact with one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen. His hair fell delicately around his face, blonde highlights scattered throughout, his eyes a beautiful shade of brown, and his lips were the perfect shade of pink. He looked you up and down before he gave you a soft smile, taking a sip of his drink. Whiskey you assumed. You smirked at him and turned to go into the bathroom.

You stood in front of the mirror, giving your appearance a once over trying to see if there was anything that could be making this date go so horribly wrong. You shook your head and tried to rid the thoughts from your mind.

“This is because of him, not you.” You whispered to yourself as you stared at yourself, observing your outfit. You adjusted the red suit jacket that sat perfectly along your shoulders and adjusted your breasts in the lacy body suit you wore under it. You pulled a small tube of lipstick out of your clutch and touch up your lips before putting the cap back on and closing the clutch back up.

You adjusted your hair as you walked out of the bathroom, your heels clicking against the tile. You walked past the handsome stranger again and scanned his body as you continued to walk to your table. As soon as you sat down, the guy in front of you just continued on about whatever stupid story he was telling. At this point, you couldn’t even hear anything he was saying.

You looked over at the bar to see the mysterious man making direct eye contact with you. He waved and you gave a small smile. You looked back at your ‘date’ and he hadn’t even noticed that you weren’t paying attention. You looked back at the handsome stranger as he had his back leaned against the bar, drink in his hand.

“Need help?” He mouthed to you. You were taken aback by the question but you were desperate to get out of this date. You nodded your head ever so slightly and he noticed. He finished off his drink before he sat it down on the bar and stood up, making his way over to your table.

You sat up in your seat, focusing your attention on the annoying man— correction, boy, in front of you. You smiled at him and nodded your head as he continued to talk.

“Hi. It’s been a while, stranger.” The handsome man stood next to your table and he looked at you, completely ignoring your date sitting across from you.

“Oh my gosh, hi!” You stood up and gave the stranger a hug, acting as if you’d known him forever. As the side of your head brushed past him, you whispered a ‘thank you'.

“Uh hello?” The prick sitting down at the table scoffed and you both pulled away from the hug. You both looked at him and his brows were raised, an obviously irritated expression on his face.

“Danny, a long-time friend.” The stranger, whose name you now learned was Danny, introduced himself to your date even though he didn’t need to.

“Scott.” Your date said simply as he stood up, clearly annoyed. He took a sip of his drink and stiffened up, trying to compare himself to Danny. Wasn’t even close.

“Nice to meet you, Scott.” Danny smiled and tried to shake Scott’s hand, but he just looked at his hand before looking back at Danny.

“Yeah, likewise. If you don’t mind we’re kind of on a date here.” Scott gestured to you and then back to himself.

“Seriously?” You scoffed, an annoyed smile on your face. Scott gave you a confused look before sitting down and you continued to laugh.

“Yeah, a date my fucking ass. Listen, I’ve been on a lot of dates, and I mean a lot, and you are by far the worst guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. You talked about yourself the entire time, not even letting me get a word in edge-wise. For fucks sake, you even talked about hooking up with one of your past dates. This has to be a joke.” You shook your head and grabbed your clutch from the table.

“Y/N, come on, don’t be a bitch.” Scott scoffed and this was your final straw. You grabbed the glass of water that was sitting on the table and threw it in his face. You heard a couple of the tables surrounding you gasp and a few even laughed.

“What the fuck!” He shouted and you wrapped your arm around Danny's. He definitely gained the attention of some of the surrounding tables and you could feel heat start to creep onto your cheeks. You wanted to get out of this situation as fast as you could. You both started to walk towards the bar before you stopped to get in a final word.

“Thanks for the salad. Dick.” You rolled your eyes and continued to walk to the bar with Danny. As the two of you sat down, you burst into a fit of laughter.

“Wow… that was by far one of the worst dates I’ve ever been on.” You shook your head and looked at Danny who had an amused smile on his face.

“Guy seemed like a prick.” He waved over the bartender and he came over a moment later.

“What can I get for you?” A short woman smiled as she waited for us to give our drink order.

“I’ll have another whiskey, and the lady will have…” Danny ordered his drink and looked at you, waiting for you to give your order.

“Rosé, please.”

“The lady will have a rosé,” Danny repeated and she nodded, going to get the drinks. You turned your head towards Danny and you smiled at him, observing his features. He turned his head to face you and he eyed you up and down once more.

“So stranger, I never did learn your name.” He pulled his bottom lip in between his thumb and forefinger.

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You stuck your hand out for him to shake and he took it with a firm grip and shook it three times.

“Daniel Wagner, it’s very nice to meet you,” He nodded his head once and turned toward the bartender who sat down the drinks in front of the both of you. You grabbed your glass of wine and took a sip, while Danny took a sip of his whiskey.

“Also, you’re right, that guy was a prick.” You shook your head and sat your glass back down on the bar before crossing your legs and setting your hands on your knee.

“How do you even know him?” He asked curiously, taking another sip of his drink.

“Blind date. One of my friends set me up with him for god knows why so safe to say I won’t be taking her recommendations anymore. God, I’m so over dating.” You shook your head, looking toward the ground.

“That’s a shame.” You looked back up to meet Danny's eyes and the two of you just stared at each other for a moment.

“What makes you say that?” You questioned, trying to egg him on. He smiled as he looked down at the floor and back up at you again.

“I mean, a beautiful girl like you shouldn’t give up on dating. I mean who knows, there could be some extremely handsome guy who wants to take her out who isn’t a total fuck.” Danny shrugged and turned toward you, knees facing each other. He took another sip of his drink and leaned one of his arms against the bar.

“Mmm, a shame I’ll never get to experience that,” you sighed, shaking your head and taking another sip of your drink, obviously catching onto what he was implying. Danny raised his brow at you and the simple look sent butterflies through your stomach. He was extremely attractive and something about his stare was intimidating.

“Do you want to go somewhere with me, Y/N?” He asked suddenly. You let out a small laugh and stared at him for a moment before realizing he was serious.

“Wait, like actually? How do I know you’re not going to murder me once we leave?” You questioned.

“Does this look like a face of a murder?” He raised a brow, setting the back side of his hand under his chin.

“Yes very much so. I mean come on. Bundy? Richard Ramirez? Dahmer? They were all attractive yet still killed people.” You deadpanned. Danny stared at you not even knowing what to say.

“I mean.. yeah I guess you have a point. But that’s a part of the thrill isn’t it?” He smiled and you laughed at his comment. You both finished off your drinks and you stood up, reaching your hand out for him to grab. You still had the thought in the back of your mind that this could potentially be a bad idea, but a large part of you was telling you to just go for it. 

“Where are we going, Wagner?” Danny stood up and grabbed your hand. He quickly closed out his tab and started leading you toward the exit. Unfortunately, you had to walk past Scott’s table and he glared at the two of you as you made your way toward the exit.

“Stupid fucking bitch,” you heard Scott mumble under his breath. Before you had a chance to turn around, Danny's hand left yours and he strode over to Scott’s table. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and practically lifted him out of his chair. There was an instant look of panic that washed over his face. He looked like he was going to throw up. 

“Call her a bitch or any sort of name again and see what the fuck happens.” Danny hissed and stared into his eyes and all Scott could do was quickly nod his head. The simple act sent heat to your core and you bit your lip. Something about Danny looking pissed off was extremely sexy. You shook your head slightly, trying to get rid of the thoughts since you had just met this man. But dear god he was sexy.

“Good, glad we’re on the same page.” Danny smiled and let go of Scott’s collar, causing him to fall back into his chair, looking up at Danny with a face of horror. He turned around and walked back towards you, resting his hand in yours again. The two of you walked out of the building as soon as you got out the doors. You pushed Danny against the wall of the restaurant, immediately kissing him. You could tell that the action caught him off guard but it was only seconds later that he began to kiss you back.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Dany pulled away, a smirk on his face. His hands rested themselves on your sides and he towered over you. You laughed once you realized what you had done.

“That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. I don't think I've ever had somebody do something like that for me.” You admitted, a blush creeping onto your face. You took a step back away from him but he grabbed your waist firmly, pulling you closer to him. He leaned down and kissed you again, a lot gentler than you had done to him. You damn near melted into his touch. You put your hands on his arms, feeling his muscles through his suit.

“Forgive me for being so straightforward, but can I please take you home?” You pulled away, looking up into his eyes to read his expression. Danny nodded his head and started pulling you towards the parking lot. You followed behind him, your hand resting in his.

"Danny, what if I drove here?" You asked with a slight laugh. Danny stopped and faced you.

"Shit, did you drive yourself? That asshole didn't even have the decency to pick you up?" He looked at you absolutely dumbfounded.

"I'm kidding. I took a cab." You laughed and you both started walking to the parking lot again. You looked at the side of Danny's face to see the silly little grin he had on his face. You eventually reached his car and he opened the passenger side door for you before you got in. He jogged over to the driver's side and hopped in, letting his car roar to life.

During the car ride, you told Danny where to go and you both engaged in subtle conversation. It was only about fifteen minutes later when you reached your house. You had been lucky enough to buy your own home when a family member you didn't even know passed and you just so happened to be in the will. You felt bad that you didn't know who the person was but your parents had told you that you were only a baby when you had met so it wasn't a huge deal. The house was a decent size but not too big since it was just you, but it gave you room to expand whenever the time came.

You and Danny both got out of the car and it wasn't long before his lips were attacking yours. Your back was pressed against the hood of the car as your fingers tangled into Danny's hair, tugging slightly at the roots. One of his hands was around the back of your neck while the other supported your lower back. You stayed like this for a few minutes, just taking in the moment and admiring how perfectly your lips glided together.

"I have some more drinks inside if you want some more whiskey," You pulled away ever so slightly and he nodded. You pressed another kiss to Danny's lips before you walked towards the front door and grabbed your keys out of your clutch and inserted one of them into the slot. Immediately you heard your dog barking at the front door, waiting for you to come in.

"His name is Tank, he might seem intimidating for a minute but he's the biggest baby I've ever met in my entire life. He's a pitbull mastiff mix." You turned your head towards Danny and he nodded, seeming as though he was excited to meet the dog. You opened the door slightly and Tank continued to bark as you turned a light on and he immediately went up to Danny. He sniffed Danny as he held his hand out, letting him get familiar with his scent. Tank jumped up onto Danny with a giant goofy grin on his face, attempting to give him kisses.

"Tank, down!" You tapped his butt and he jumped down, coming over to you as you crouched down to say hi to him. He layed sloppy kisses all over your face and you turned your head trying to get him to stop. He pushed his head into your chest which made you fall over onto the floor, now fully sitting in front of him.

"I can see why you call him Tank," Danny laughed and started petting the top of Tank's head. He was all black with a small bit of white on his chest and the tips of his toes. He had a red spiked collar and his tail was like a whip. His head was the biggest part of him and most of the time he didn't even know his own size. 

"He's like a bulldozer. There's been a few times he's knocked me out with his head. Thing is like a brick. Isn't that right baby? You have a big 'ole brick for a head, huh?" You cooed at the dog and he attacked your face with kisses again, having no idea what the hell you were even saying. You took your heels off before standing up and walking to the kitchen. Danny followed behind you and Tank made his way to the living room and began chewing on his bone. 

"He's very cute. How old is he?" Danny asked. You opened a bottle of wine for yourself and poured yourself a glass. 

"He's about four. I got him when I had first moved in so I wouldn't be alone. I had always wanted a dog, so I adopted Tank before he could be used for dog fighting." You put the bottle of wine in the fridge and opened a cabinet trying to reach the only bottle of whiskey you had. You stood on your tiptoes, stretching your arm as far as it would go. You felt Danny press up against your backside, reaching over you to grab it. He backed away and you turned to smile at him. You grabbed a glass and got some ice from the fridge, letting it fall into the cup. You handed it to Danny and he poured himself a glass. 

"I will never understand how people can do such a thing to animals." Danny shook his head and you agreed.

"I don't either. People are shit." You sighed and Danny nodded his head with a small laugh. You grabbed your wine glass again, taking a sip as you observed Danny's body. The suit he was wearing fit him perfectly in all of the right places but you really wondered what he looked like without it on. Danny stepped closer to you and your eyes trailed up his chest before you made eye contact with him.

"I was looking at you all night, Y/N," Danny admitted. His chest was almost completely against yours and you could feel the heat in your core growing.

"Is that so?" You smirked and sat your glass down, leaning against the kitchen counter. You watched his eyes scan over your chest and he licked his lips before nodding his head.

"I kept wondering how a beautiful woman such as yourself was on a date with a pretentious asshole when she could've been having the night of her life."

"It's not too late to change that." You shook your head and Danny lifted you onto the counter before you wrapped your arms around his neck. His lips flew to your neck and you let out a moan as he began to leave small bites before soothing them with his tongue. He slotted himself between your legs and you could feel his bulge through the material of your pants. You ran your hands down the front of his chest and began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He pushed off his suit jacket and when you had the final button undone he took off the shirt. You observed his toned chest and arms, also noticing the slight happy train that disappeared into his suit pants. 

You shrugged off your red suit jacket and undid your belt before popping the button on your pants. Danny grabbed your belt and ran over the material with the tips of his fingers.

"This might come in handy." He smirked before sliding what he could into his back pocket. The thought of being tied up or even whipped sent a shiver down your spine and another wave of heat to your core. You could feel your wetness soak your panties. You connected your lips again before you applied kisses to his jawline and made your way over to the side of his neck right by his ear.

"I have something better that you can use. Upstairs, yeah?" You whispered in his ear and he nodded, backing up so you could hop off the counter. You grabbed his hand and lead him upstairs to your bedroom. As soon as you entered the bedroom you shut the door behind the both of you and turned on a lamp that gave enough light to illuminate the room to see the silhouettes of everything but not enough to make it blinding. It was the perfect mix. 

"So I have this box..." You reached under your bed and pulled out said box. You sat it on the bed and sat your hand over the top before you turned to Danny.

"I haven't used really anything in it and I kind of want to use it, if you're not comfortable I totally understand, I just figured I'd-"

"Get on the bed, hands up," Danny commanded and you looked at him in shock before following his instructions. You lay on the bed with your arms raised above your head. Danny looked through the box and grabbed a few things and sat them on the bed before he put the box back under the bed. He stripped himself of his pants, leaving himself in his boxers. He crawled over to you on the bed and all you could do was stare at the obvious bulge in his boxers. You could see the outline of him almost perfectly and you wanted nothing more than to just rip the material off of him.

"Eyes up here, darling." Danny tapped your chin and you looked into his chocolate eyes. You bit your lip and he smiled at how desperately you wanted him. 

"We're following my rules tonight, okay?" He raised a brow and you nodded.

"Yes, sir." 

"Fuck, I could get used to that. Say it again." Danny gripped your chin as you stared into his eyes and smirked.

"Yes, sir." You let out a soft moan just to get a rise out of him as you knew it was working. He pulled on the material of your pants and you lifted your hips to help get them off. Danny tossed them somewhere in the room and ran his fingers over your clothed heat. He grabbed one of the two items that rested on the bed. 

"So wet for me already. Should we take this off, hm?" He rubbed his fingers over your clit in a few small circles before unsnapping the buttons. He pulled the lacey body suit up your body and over your head, also tossing that somewhere. He held your wrists together as he wrapped a rope around them to bind them together.  He stared at your body, examining every little bit of you as he palmed himself through his boxers. 

"On your hands and knees for me, baby," Danny tapped your cheek and you did as you were told. You got onto your hands and knees, leaning your chest against the bed to arch your back as much as you could, laying your arms above your head. A moment later you felt cool leather being dragged across your back, over your ass, and across your pussy. It sent shivers down your spine but something was arousing about the soft feeling.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked, dragging the material across your body again. You shook your head and Danny slapped the material against your ass, causing you to moan.

"Words."

"No, sir."

"It's a flogger, a type of whip. Do you like how it feels?" He asked, dragging the material down your back again.

"Yes, sir." You truly enjoyed the soft feeling of the leather across your back. It was the anticipation that made it most arousing, not knowing if you were going to get spanked or if he was just going to toy with you. 

"I won't use it much more. It's a nice little introduction. I am, however, dying to taste you." Danny groaned and his dirty words made you drip.

"Please touch me," You begged and you heard him let out a quiet groan before his hands rested against your sides before he licked a bold stripe against your pussy causing you to moan. His mouth wrapped around your clit and he sucked and soothed over the bundle of nerves. You moaned into the pillows, gripping the sheets the best you could as he continued his attack. You felt one of his fingers toying with your entrance before he slowly slid one finger into you. He curved his finger and slowly pumped in and out of you.

"Fuck, more, please," You whined and he listened as he inserted another finger. His movements sped up and you screwed your eyes shut and moaned louder. The sounds of your wetness and moans filled the room as Danny groaned, sending vibrations against you. You could feel the familiar pit in your stomach begin to grow and you knew you wouldn't last much longer.

"Are you close, baby? I can feel you clenching around me." He began to rub fast circles against your clit and you moaned louder, screwing your eyes shut.

"Fuck, yes! Can I cum? Please?" You whimpered as you could feel yourself on the brink of spilling over.

"Cum for me, pretty girl." Danny moaned and attached his lips around you again as you released. You cried out as your high took over, already leaving you a mess. Your breathing was heavy as you slowly came down from your orgasm.

"God, you taste so sweet. On your back, love." Danny got off the bed as he stepped out of his boxers and you flipped over onto your back. You looked at him, noticing his length and your eyes widened. Danny crawled over the top of you before connecting his lips with yours. His tongue grazed your bottom lip and you opened your mouth, letting your tongue fight with his. You could taste yourself against his tongue but you didn't care.

"Can I?" Danny dragged his tip through your fold, collecting your arousal. 

"Please," You begged. You wanted nothing more other than him to fill you up completely. You knew his length was going to be a lot but you also knew it would be worth it.

Danny slowly slid into you, stretching you out. Danny pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and stilled inside of you, letting you get used to his length. He ran his thumb over your cheek a few times before you nodded your head signaling him to move. He slowly pulled almost completely out of you before pushing his hips forwards. His movements gradually got faster before he was hitting you in all of the right places. Your back arched and Danny leaned down with his arms on either side of your head. Your eyes closed as you let every part of him take over your sense.

"Look at me," Danny groaned and you opened your eyes, trying your hardest to keep your focus on him.

"Fuck, your cock is so big, I love the way you fuck me," You whimpered as Danny threw his head back.

"Shit, if you keep talking to me like that I won't last much longer," Danny came down and kissed you again, thrusting into you harder. You whimpered through the kiss and wrapped your legs around his waist. Danny quickly undid the rope around your wrists and your nails connected with his back as you raked them down from his brutal pace. Danny put his weight on one of his arms and moved the other one between you to rub your clit again. 

"Let me ride you, please," You begged as one of your hands came up to cup his face.

"Yeah? Pretty baby wants to ride my cock?" He questioned and you nodded as you whined. He grabbed your hip with one hand put the other on your lower back and flipped the two of you over. You began to grind your hips against him before bouncing up and down on him. Danny stared at you sliding in and out of him as you tossed your head back and grabbed your breasts, playing with your nipples. 

"Look at you, taking my dick so well," Danny praised before he grabbed onto your hips and began to throw his hips upward into you. A moan that was a borderline scream flew past your lips and you leaned forward, setting one of your hands on his chest to keep yourself steady and the other against your headboard. You could feel your second orgasm coming on and your eyes began to water from the stimulation.

"Harder," You gasped. He was already fucking you pretty hard but you just wanted every single piece of him. Danny held on in place as he continued his pace and he could feel you tightening around him. 

"Fuck, you're so tight," He moaned and you fell forward against his chest and whimpered in his ear before kissing his neck. You could taste the saltiness of his skin as you bit different places that you knew were bound to leave lilac marks. You pulled his earlobe between your teeth and whined in his ear which cause a quiet whimper to leave his lips.

"Fuck, fuck, Danny, I'm gonna cum again," You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down almost hard enough to draw blood. 

"Shit, me too," He groaned and you pulled yourself off of him before flipping around and taking his cock into your mouth. He didn't have time to object but he didn't mind having your mouth around him.

"Holy fuck," He gasped as your lips wrapped around him, not expecting the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat. He pulled your hips down over his face before sucking on your clit as you both moaned. You held him down your throat for a moment before coming up to take a gasp for air. You licked up his shaft before you wrapped one of your hands around the base of his dick to begin jerking him off. You could feel him twitch under your touch so you took him back into your mouth. A few seconds later you could feel the hot sticky spurts of him trail down the back of your throat, swallowing every bit of him. Your orgasm him seconds later as you moaned with his cock still in your mouth. Your legs began to shake and tears slid down your cheek from the overstimulation. You tried to pull away from him but he held your hips in place, continuing to lap his tongue over you to ride out your high. 

You rolled over off of him as you took in a few deep breaths to calm your heart rate. You both lay there for a minute in silence before Danny spoke up.

"Where is your bathroom, love?" You could tell he was out of breath.

"Right across the hall." You responded quietly as your eyes fluttered closed. You felt him get off the bed before walking out of the room. A few seconds later he came back into the room as you felt the bed dip down. You opened your eyes and noticed he had a damp rag in his hand. He ran the rag gently over your core cleaning you up and you felt your cheeks go red. You had never had anybody do any type of aftercare for you before.

Danny leaned over you and applied a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled the comforter back and patted the spot next to him. You crawled under the blanket and leaned against his chest. You could feel your eyes growing heavy and you knew you would end up falling asleep.

"Danny?" You spoke up, your voice was soft as you traced over the tattoo on his stomach. 

"Hmm?" He hummed quietly as he started running his fingers through your hair.

"I hope it's not a lot to ask, but," You paused not even sure if you should ask.

"What, baby?" He picked up on your worry and turned his head to look at you.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" You asked quietly, not even sure if he could hear you. 

"Of course. I also hope it's not a lot to ask, but will you get breakfast with me in the morning?" You could hear the smile in his voice and you nodded your head and smiled against his chest.

"If you'd let me, I'd love to go through that box with you too," His voice was low and you looked up at him. You bit your lip and nodded your head as you felt your cheeks get hot. Danny leaned down a connected his lips with yours. The kiss was soft and delicate, with no hurried movements or any sort of rush to it. He pulled away and pressed a gentle kiss to your nose before he leaned his head back. You rested your head against his chest again and closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat. The subtle thump slowly put you into a trance before you both drifted off to sleep. 

****

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[jungkxook]

—the love bug. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: spiderman!jungkook + fluff / smut

⟶ words: 20,649 (sorry)

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: every night, jungkook puts on the red mask and flings himself confidently into perilous danger; but that same heart of steel that fuels his will and spirit seems to fail him whenever it comes to you 

⟶ warnings: coarse language, mild violence, jungkook is really shy and cute and dumb bc he’s so smitten, also jungkook’s butt in spandex is nice, needy/clingy sex, oral sex (fem!receiving), face riding, fingering, riding, missionary, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: this is a repost of a fic i had on my old blog! 

You see Jungkook every night without fail.

When the sun has set below the distant horizon and plunges the world into a formidable darkness, driving most ordinary civilians to seek shelter in their homes, he stumbles into the café tucked cozily on the corner of a busy street in Lower Manhattan. The concrete city is still very much alive in a harmonious mix of sirens and the hum of cars but is subdued, muffling under the night sky and is most susceptible at this time to misconduct. Usually, at this point of night, the café you work at is nearly empty, save for a few stragglers that huddle tiredly at certain round tables. Most times, these are students from the university you attend just around the bend, whose weary eyes peer over the laptop in front of them as they meticulously work on an essay due the next morning, only fueled by the cup of coffee next to them.

Though you’ve seen Jungkook plenty of times around the campus of your school, he never once enters the café for the sole purpose of late night studying or writing. Instead, as you come to find over the course of many strange nights, Jungkook stumbles in through the doors sometime after 9 p.m., always with one strap of his backpack thrown over his shoulder. He always looks dishevelled, exhausted, as if he has spent the evening running all over the city of New York; and then he plops himself down into a seat by the window, burying his head in his folded arms that lean on the top of the table. Most times he orders a coffee and though he downs it the fastest you’ve ever seen, he is still somehow able to fall asleep at the table. Sometimes, he hardly ever touches the coffee and lets it grow cold as it rests next to him but he always, without a doubt, falls asleep next to it.

You never wake him. Usually, when you work the late night shifts, you are alone for a handful of hours until your next coworker arrives for their shift. You don’t mind the company anyway, even if he sleeps for most of the night. It’s comforting to at least see he’s resting, though you find yourself snickering to yourself as you watch the snoring boy when it’s just you and him alone in the café. Though you have grown up with Jungkook as your next door neighbour as a child, have attended the same schools and been in most classes together from elementary all the way to your freshman year of college now, and have watched one another mature and change, you have never really exactly gotten to know Jungkook as well as you’d like. Typically, your conversations are short and friendly, ranging from you taking his order at the café and spotting him around campus and asking if he knew the answer to a question for the homework assigned to the class you share with him.

This night isn’t any different.

You’ve become eager, always anticipating when Jungkook will walk through the doors of the café and make himself at home as he routinely does. However, just before 9 p.m. on a Thursday night, when the small bell above the door rings to signal a new arrival, you are immediately disappointed to find that it is not Jungkook. Instead, it is a crude muscular man not much older than you with tattoos that litter his arms and a star inked into the left side of his neck. The sight of him causes you to groan inwardly, forces you to straighten your back a little more, hold your chin a little higher. Most nights the café may be occupied by university students, but other nights you are forced to deal with tasteless strangers that try to intimidate you but instead give you an agonising headache.

You have seen this man before, have remembered the star tattoo and the scar just above his right eyebrow. He has come into the café before and has been the source of trouble more often than not. As the man approaches the counter in an imperious stride this time, you notice the smirk that tugs at his lips and feel the foreboding shudder that runs down your spine.

“Evenin’,” You greet. “Can I get you anything?”

The man’s eyes flicker to the menu above the counter, as if he is pondering what to order. He looks back down at you and then leans against the counter, closing the distance between him and you causing you to take a step back.

“How are you doing tonight, sweetheart?” he asks. “Been awhile, huh? Did you miss me?”

Forcing a fixed smile on your face, you reply shortly with, “I’ve been well. Can I get you anything?”

Apparently, the way you repeat your question in a firm manner doesn’t act as well of a hint as you had hoped for the man. He’s smirking wickedly, clearly enjoying the strain he puts you through.

“I know what you can get me, sweetheart,” he drawls. “When do you get off? Maybe we can meet round back and I can show you what a real man is like.”

“No thanks.”

“Playing hard to get, hm?” he muses. “I wonder what else that pretty little mouth of yours can do.”

Though you are appalled, you swallow your nerves and narrow your eyes into a glare. It can tell you to kindly fuck off, you grimace to yourself. Instead, you turn your back to him, pretending to occupy yourself with cleaning the counter as you mumble blankly, “Not interested.”

The man chuckles. “Come on, sweetheart. It’s just a little fun━”

“She said she’s not interested.”

The familiar voice that interrupts the man causes your heart to leap blithely in your chest and makes you realize you have been so caught up with the man by the counter that you hardly noticed the way the bell rings a second time as the newcomer enters the shop. Standing just behind the man is Jungkook, whose carob hair sticks out in messy tufts and weary eyes are laced with an underlying menace. The man looks from you to Jungkook and must assume the confrontation isn’t worth a fight. The smug smile remains on his face even as he shrugs, muttering something along the lines of, “Whatever, man. I was just trying to have some fun.”

Whether or not Jungkook has scared him away, the man relents and retreats to the door of the café, disappearing outside once more. As soon as the door shuts behind him, you come to realize that you are now alone in the café with Jungkook with nothing but the sound of the flat screen t.v that hangs in a corner behind the counter, faintly playing on the news channel.

“You okay?” he asks, catching your attention. “He didn’t do anything, did he?”

“Oh, no. No, I’m fine,” You say. “Thanks for that, by the way. Though I could’ve handled it myself.”

Jungkook chuckles. “I don’t doubt that but it’s nice to get a little help sometimes.”

You smile up at the boy who towers above you and, despite the fatigue that droops his eyes, his pink lips still unfurl into a wide, radiant grin that brightens his face.

“How long are you here for tonight?” he asks.

“Till close. Then I have to head home and put together a powerpoint for psych,” You yawn as if to emphasize your boredom. “What can I get you? The usual?”

Jungkook looks at you as if you are his saving grace. The smile stretches further across his cheeks as he nods. “Please?”

“Will do. Sit tight, I’ll be right over.”

You spin around from behind the counter, almost immediately jumping to work as you rummage through the shelves. When you’re finished making his order that consists solely of a medium black coffee with two sugars and turn back around to face him, you find him seated at a table off to the side, not far from the counter. His backpack lays discarded on the ground by his feet and his elbow rests on top of the surface of the table, his chin nestled in the palm of his hand; his eyes are fixated on the television screen hanging just ahead and, for once upon entering the café past dusk, he doesn’t lack a sense of emotion. Instead, his brows knit in concern as he is engrossed by whatever is happening on the news.

As you approach his table with his coffee in your hand, you crane your neck to look up at the screen and what has seemingly caught his interest. On one side of the screen is a female news reporter in a pink blouse and gray blazer; on the second half of the screen, you see a familiar flash of striking red and blue that swings from building to building from an, albeit, shaky recording from a passerby’s phone.

“And in other news,” The woman who speaks has a strong, smooth voice as she stares ahead at the camera with a rather sour look, “the masked mystery man, otherwise known as Spider-Man, was spotted earlier this morning when he put a stop to a robbery in an apartment in Queens just before noon. Though most would argue that Spider-Man is New York’s very own masked hero, the New York City Police Department are still searching for the identity of whom they call a vigilante, saying he is causing mayhem in━”

“Some guy, huh?” You muse pensively, sliding the coffee onto the counter next to Jungkook. “This spider guy or whatever.”

The boy in front of you glances down meekly at the coffee and back up at you. His eyes flicker to the screen hanging in the corner once more. “You mean Spider-Man?”

Nodding, you say, “Yeah. He comes out of nowhere two years ago and now he’s everywhere. What do you think of him helping with all this dangerous crime stuff?”

“Ah, well, that’s his thing,” Jungkook says, shrugging. “If he couldn’t handle it, he wouldn’t be helping solve a lot of the city’s crimes. I think he’s pretty cool, y’know, for a masked guy. I definitely don’t think he’s a vigilante or━ or a criminal.”

“You talk about him as if you know him,” You giggle.

Jungkook’s eyes widen for a split second and then he’s furiously shaking his head. “Know him? No, no, of course not! I’m just a… Just a big fan ━ and an even bigger fan of Iron Man.”

He picks up the coffee next to him and lifts it to his mouth for a quick sip, nearly burning his tongue but swallowing his curses.

“I like him,” You confess at long last. “He’s interesting. I think he’s just what we need at a time like this.”

Just then, the bell above the door rings once more and a small group of friends wander into the shop, each carrying backpacks and heavy textbooks. They sit at a table off in the corner and you sigh as you look back down at Jungkook.

“That’s my cue,” You say. “Gotta go, but have a good night, okay? And, Jungkook? You really should get some more sleep.”

Jungkook opens his mouth to respond but you are already turning away and so he sits back in his seat, defeated once more. He watches as you stride happily to the group of friends sitting at a table to take their order, your hair bouncing slightly under the fluorescent lights. He folds his arms over the top of his table and buries his head in them, though he sneaks one last glance up at you. Despite his eyes itching with sleep, he pries them open just a second longer to watch you smile as you speak with the students and it is the last thing he sees before he slips off into a light and contented sleep.

As you step out into the cool, early Autumn night and shut the door of the café behind you to lock it, the single thought most prominent in your mind is sleep.

You’re exhausted, but the homework still waiting to be completed in your home is the only thing that pushes you to stay awake. You hurry to fish the store keys out of your coat pocket and, with a euphonious chime, use them to lock the front door, ignoring the way the cold breeze nips at your cheeks. You grasp the collar of your coat tighter around your body and then hike the strap of your own bag further up your shoulder as you turn to walk away.

Jungkook had fallen asleep as per usual after your short conversation with him and then vanished an hour some time before you closed, waving a final farewell to you. The rest of your night had been rather slow, with only two more customers entering the café until each person left to venture back out into the cold and leave you alone. To finally be freed from the confinements of the café has you breathing in the crisp air in a deep breath. Exhaling placidly, you cross the street and begin making your way toward your one bedroom apartment which is only a fifteen minute walk away from both the café and your school.

You aren’t quite sure how long you have been walking for when you begin to notice the sound of footsteps behind you. In fact, if you had been listening more intently since the second you left the café, you would be able to recall the fact that these same heavy footsteps had been following along behind you since then. You don’t necessarily see the problem at hand just yet, thinking it to be just another innocent passerby who is coincidentally walking the same way as you. After all, New York City has a tremendously huge population.

You take a left, turning the corner of the street to continue along the path to your home. The only light that illuminates the way are the silvery wisps from the moon that hangs high in the night sky and the flickering street lamps that you pass occasionally. You take another left and strain your ears and hear the sound of footsteps again. Maybe you were overreacting, maybe it was just a random passerby, but most cities weren’t foreign to that of strange stalkers. Holding your breath, you slowly glance over your shoulder at the figure who has been following you and spot a man just a few paces away, the hood of his sweater drawn over his head.

You immediately turn back around, eyes wide as panic begins to settle in. You take another left, then a right, cross the street and retrace your steps back towards the café and each time you hear the heavy footsteps; each time they quicken in pace as does yours. You hadn’t even realized how briskly you were walking until you glance over your shoulder for a second time and see the man once more. Suddenly, you turn a sharp corner and race ahead before coming across an empty and darkened alleyway. You slip into its shadows, your heart hammering wildly against your chest and in your ears, and continue to walk until the brick wall at the very end of the alleyway comes into view. A dead end.

You turn back around and begin walking forward before freezing suddenly. If you go back out there, that man could still be lurking; if you stay in the alleyway, you could hide until you think it’s safe. Your eyes flicker around for something to cower behind and just before you notice the dumpster off to the side, you see a shadow in the corner of your eye. Turning around, you come face-to-face with the hooded man who is all but blocking your path to freedom. Except now, you’re able to stare into his face past the silhouette that his hood draws on his features. Now, you can see the star tattoo on his neck, the scar above his right eyebrow and an image of the man from the café only hours ago flashes across your eyes.

“You,” You gasp. “What do you want from me?”

Behind his hood, you can see him smirk slyly. “I just want to chat to you, babe. What are you doing all by yourself out here?”

Your eyes narrow into a scrutinizing glare. You step forward to walk around him but he grabs onto you, his arm snaking around your waist as he drawls, “Not so fast. I’ve been meaning to get you alone like this.”

Just as you open your mouth to shout out for help, the noise of sudden scuffling in the alley causes the man to stop. It comes with the rustling of the wind and could have easily been mistaken for the sound of a trash can falling over or paper tumbling loosely but it is also unmistakable the sound of footsteps. The man must notice something before you do as he squints further into the alleyway, muttering a small, “What the hell━”

“Come on, dude, that’s seriously no way to treat a girl!”

The foreign voice that drifts into the alleyway seems to startle not only yourself, but the man in front of you. His grip loosens on you slightly as he cranes his neck to look amongst the shadows.

“Well, anyone, for that matter.”

The stranger’s voice is youthful, most likely belonging to a boy around your age. It is oddly calm and nonchalant despite the situation that is unfolding before him, and then he clicks his tongue disapprovingly. As your eyes flicker open, you follow the source of the sound towards the blocked end of the alleyway still veiled by the darkness. Had this person always been there or had they really materialized out of thin air?

“Who’s there?” The man in front of you grunts. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

“And why don’t you pick on somebody your own size?” The voice retaliates. He pauses as if he is waiting for an answer and then he is speaking up again. “Let me guess. You’re gonna tell me to screw off or something right? God, you guys are always so predictable and yet you never make it any easier for me.”

The man scowls, his hand drops from your throat as he turns to the looming darkness and hisses gruffly, “Mind your own business, punk━”

Before he can carry on, something flings out of the darkness and lands on the man’s face in a blink of an eye. He immediately lets go of you, grunting in confusion and flailing his arms about. As you drop to the ground, you subsequently bang your head hard against the brick wall and groan in pain, though you’re able to catch a glimpse of what the man is trying so desperately to claw off his face before your vision goes blurry. It is something thin and wispy, made of silver glistening strands that resembles, oddly enough, a spider’s web. As the man fumbles into the darkness, arms swinging clenched fists wildly about.

“Over here!” The boy taunts. “Missed me again! You know, you’re not very good at this.”

You struggle to climb to your feet, clutching your head in agony as you squint into the darkness. From where you are, you can only see the man fumbling around uselessly, the other figure still concealed by the darkness. As you attempt to get a better look, you hear the boy grunt in pain and catch sight of the man just after he had swung his fist into this person’s face, while his other hand had successfully been able to finally rip the mesh off his face.

“Okay, ow, that hurt,” The boy admits.

But before he or the man can continue on, you’re springing forward, mustering all your strength and courage into one impromptu movement. You grab your bag that had been discarded on the ground, heavy with a few school textbooks you had brought with you; you clutch it tightly, race up behind the man, and swing it hard at his head. His actions come to a sudden halt, he staggers forward, and immediately collapses to the ground, unconscious. Then finally, plunged into the darkness of the alleyway, you slowly look up to face the eye of your helper and are met, instead, with a flash of red and blue.

Standing before you, adorned head to toe in a tight suit is none other than the mysterious masked vigilante. He’s much taller in person than you expected, and much more muscular too, though with his face hidden beyond a mask, you can’t say much else about him. Instead, you gasp as you stare up at him in astonishment.

“Hey, nice hit!” he says, an apparent grin in his voice. “That was pretty awesome━”

“It’s you!” You exclaim.

“Me?” He seems confused at first but then he’s straightening up. “Oh, right, right. It’s me! Just, uh, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. Rescuing damsels in distress is kinda my thing.”

Your amusement for the mysterious hero is quick to fade, however, in wake of the throbbing pain on your head. It makes you aware of the fact that your knees have since grown weak, your mind spinning. When you take a step forward, you are suddenly faint and stumble over your feet, tripping to the ground. Before you can hit the pavement, the boy swoops forward and into view, catching you swiftly in his arms and holding you up.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” he says. “Oh man, we gotta get you home. Can you tell me where you live?”

You can feel your lips moving in response, most likely informing him foolishly of the apartment complex you live in. Though this boy has been noted on performing acts of bravery and fighting against crime, he’s still a stranger ━ and, even more warily so, a complete enigma. There was no reason to trust him, despite him helping you only minutes ago, but in that moment you are weak and exhausted. In the very next second, you find yourself slipping off into a deep and tranquil slumber.

When you awaken the next morning, you are first greeted to the bright light of the sun that licks at your cheeks and warms your face. You note the soft plush of the mattress under you, the soft breeze that ruffles your hair, and when you pry your eyes open, you find yourself laying on the bed in your room; your window opened. Just when you begin to think the night before was all just some elaborate dream, you feel the slight tinge of pain in the back of your head and, despite it all ━ despite the pain and despite the memory strange man who had followed you ━ you smile softly at the thought of the boy in red and blue.

The next time you see Jungkook is on that Thursday.

Truthfully, you’ve been eager to find him around campus if only to tell him about your encounter with New York’s masked hero. You hadn’t told many people, safe for your closest friends, though you’re keen to see Jungkook’s reaction as you’ve learned he’s a fan of this spider guy. Wednesday is the only day you have a class with him and so as soon as the boring lecture for your anthropology class is finished, you spot him striding casually out the door and catch up to him just as he’s walking down the smooth pavement of the campus sidewalk.

Word, however, seems to spread fast amongst the friends in your year and whereas you only told one of your friends on that previous Friday about your encounter in the alleyway, Jungkook has already heard the story through misconstrued words at least a dozen times, through whisperings of people that aren’t even your friends. It’s a novelty, apparently, to witness something like this strange masked man. But, naturally, Jungkook is rather surprised when he hears your familiar dulcet voice calling his name.

“Jungkook!”

He whirls around to face you and smiles as he sees your figure walking towards him, adorned in leggings and a baggy school shirt to match the evening’s warm weather. You’re smiling at him, almost as radiantly as the sun that it almost quite literally blinds him as he doesn’t seem to notice the other girl walking just in front of him. He bumps into her before he can step out of the way and hastily apologizes before turning back to you only to see you giggling.

“What can I do for you on this fine evening?” he asks as you approach.

“I’ve been meaning to find you since Friday,” You say. “You’ll never believe what happened on Thursday.”

“I’ve been hearing it all week since then.”

“You have? Who told you?”

This causes Jungkook to chuckle lightly. He hikes the usual one strap of his backpack further up his shoulder as the two of you begin to walk again, “Y/N, everyone’s been talking about it. I guess no one can keep their mouth shut anymore. So tell me: what was this Spider-Man guy like?”

A small smile stretches across your face at the name, your teeth instinctively biting down on your lower lip in an attempt to hide in. Was it just Jungkook or did he see the slightest of pink pinch at your cheeks? When you look back up at him, your eyes are shimmering.

“Honestly?” You reply sheepishly. “I think I’m crushing on him pretty hard.”

Jungkook nearly chokes. When he speaks next, his voice is slightly higher than usual, so he clamps his mouth shut, clears his throat, and tries again. “You don’t say? He must be a real charmer then. Do you, uh, even know him well enough to crush on him?”

“It’s strange,” You remark. “You’re right ━ I don’t even know him and yet I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since then. I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all, huh?”

“What even happened?” Jungkook asks.

“Remember that guy you scared away Thursday night? I got into some trouble with him━ but don’t worry!” You throw in the last few words when you see Jungkook’s brows scrunch in concern. “Spider-Man came before anything could happen. He saved me. I owe him my life at this point.”

Jungkook notes the dreamlike tone in your voice and when he glances down at you, you’re smiling blissfully down at your scuffed Converse shoes. It’s mesmerizing to see you so content and jubilant, beaming like the sun once more that hangs in the clear cerulean blue sky. He inhales a deep breath of fresh air, smells the wafting nodes of freshly ground coffee somewhere in the distance, and exhales slowly.

Nervously rubbing the back of his neck, he looks over at you once more and asks, “Hey, um, so for that anthro project we have to do ━ I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to be partners for it?”

Your eyes light up at the proposition and you nod enthusiastically. “Sure thing. I’d love that, actually. Maybe we can meet up this Sunday to plan everything out and see who’s doing what?”

“Hey, Y/N!”

Just then, you hear the familiar sound of your friend calling your name. You glance ahead where your eyes land on a group of girls sitting on a nearby bench and you wave at them. They gesture you over and you skip ahead a few paces, turning to look at Jungkook. He smiles as he nods.

“Sorry,” You apologize sheepishly. “But Sunday at the café at noon?”

“Sounds like a date.” Jungkook reddens suddenly at the way he words his thoughts and stammers to correct himself. “Not a date! Work date. Uh━”

“It’s a date,” You giggle. “See you!”

Then you’re rushing off to join your friends, leaving Jungkook alone once more. He sighs in your wake, shakes his head at himself, and grudgingly walks away.

That night you can hardly sleep.

You blame it on the stress that comes with being a student, constantly under the strain of a multitude of assignments and upcoming tests. When the clock strikes half past one in the morning just as you are finishing typing up the last sentence of a seven page essay on your laptop (seated at your desk, where you have been for the past few hours), you decide you need a break before you go absolutely insane. Shrugging on a simple cardigan, you tiptoe out of your room, down the corridor to the elevator, ignoring the way your joints that have stiffened in place stretch in a satisfying pop. You’re stumbling out and onto the roof of your apartment building in no less than five minutes, emerging out into the open night.

It isn’t terribly cold and, after inhaling a deep breath of the refreshing air, you sigh in relief and you walk to the concrete barrier at the very edge of the roof and lean against it. Gazing out at the vibrant and lively concrete and glass buildings and skyscrapers alike that build the city of New York, with each window illuminated by a warm glow of light, seems to give you a sense of peace. You can hear the hum of cars, a distant sound of sirens, the occasional honk, and the thump of bass from somewhere in the distance to your left, all amassing into the rhythmic pulse of the city; across from you, in the building complex on the other side of the street, you can see silhouetted figures of perhaps caffeinated students or late night lovers. The sky is empty, blank and dull as it stretches on over the entirety of the city, but you can see the moon, brightly shining in all its glory, bold and proud amongst the artificial light.

A slight breeze disrupts the stillness of the roof, rustles your hair, followed by the looming feeling of not being alone. You hear the sound of footsteps landing softly on the ground and turn around slowly, casting your gaze across the seemingly empty rooftop. But you see it ━ or rather, him ━ in the shadows near the door a bit further off. It’s strange how calm you are in the moment but the presence doesn’t exactly feel intimidating to you ━ especially when you notice the flash of red and blue.

“You again?” You ask humorously.

“Sorry if I scared you.” The voice that carries with the wind towards you is familiar, youthful. “Definitely not my intention.”

“I’m not scared,” You say. “If I can recall amongst your many gritty crime fighting, you saved a cat stuck in a tree a while back.”

The boy chuckles. “Ah, well, just all a part of the job.”

“What are you doing here?” You take a step toward him and hear him retreat further into the darkness.

“Well, you’re probably going to call me weird and insane,” he says, “but I just wanted to check on you. You were pretty out of it when I dropped you off at your place.”

“You’re not stalking me now, are you?”

“No way!” he says. “I was just, y’know, in the neighbourhood. I was actually about to call it a night when I passed your apartment and then I saw you up here. Must be fate, huh?”

“Fate sure is weird,” You muse pensively, pursing your lips. You pause, squinting your eyes into the darkness. “Thanks, by the way. For helping me that night and bringing me back. Is there anyway I can repay you?”

“Repay me? Oh, no, no!” he says. “That’s not what this is all about, I promise. What I do is for the city and for the people. I can sleep better at night knowing thugs like that guy are being taken care of properly.”

“That’s a pretty commendable thing to do,” You say. “You gotta be pretty brave to put yourself in danger each night.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

There’s a smirk in his voice that stretches his words into a confident and smug drawl. You, in turn, smile bashfully. You look down at your shoes and then back up at the shadows.

“Can you step out of the dark?” You ask. “I want to see you.”

“Ah, but then that’ll ruin the mystique,” he points out. “And where’s the fun in that?”

You shake your head at him, pearly white teeth gnawing down on your lower lip to hide the smile that tugs at your mouth. You pull your cardigan tighter around your torso, ignoring the distant sound of a wailing siren.

“Maybe I’ll see you again,” he says. “I have to go but it was a pleasure meeting you━ uh, what was your name again?”

“I never told you,” You say. “And if I do, it’ll ruin the mystique, won’t it? Where’s the fun in that?”

He laughs into the night, a sound so genuine and amiable. “Fair enough. Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, despite the terrible circumstances. Try to stay out of trouble, okay? And get some sleep!”

You can hear him moving, as if preparing to leave. You step forward, mouth opening to stop him, but then he is gone, the sound of feet leaping into the air the last thing you hear from him. By the time you rush to the other side of the roof and look around frantically for any sight of him, you spot the mysterious vigilante as a tiny speck soaring from building to building. You smile as you watch him disappear amongst the horizon, bleeding into the glow of lights until he is gone, becoming one with the city altogether.

The days pass in a very typical blur.

Sunday comes and goes much too fast where both you and Jungkook work diligently for a few hours at the café before the rest of the week goes by. You hardly see Jungkook except for at night, as always past 9 p.m., when he stumbles wearily into the café and plops down in his usual seat. And, with the days passing as usual, there are still the consistent reports of sightings of this mysterious Spider-Man. Though you seem to go about your routinely oblivious days, you are all Jungkook is able to think about. You are all he usually thinks about these days, anyway, and all he is thinking about that very Wednesday when he’s supposed to be hanging out with Taehyung.

It isn’t uncommon to see Jungkook with Taehyung around campus. They have, after all, been best friends since the moment they met in their small daycare they attended together. Taehyung is more than accustomed with Jungkook’s habits and knows the boy in and out, including every secret and every crush he’s ever had (which, for the most part, has been you). That Thursday afternoon they are both sitting at the park just across from campus where most students from the school spend their time. Jungkook’s perched on the edge of the large concrete water fountain in the middle of the bustling meadow, with Taehyung reclining on his back, basking in the sun with a bag of chips on his stomach. They both spot you walking by with a friend and wave at Jungkook which causes Taehyung to roll his eyes.

“Dude,” he sighs, exasperated. “Just ask her out already. She already said she’s crushing on you.”

Jungkook looks down at his friend and shakes his head. “No, she said she’s crushing on Spider-Man. Not me.”

Taehyung, who was in the middle of shoving a handful of chips in his mouth, stops suddenly. He pushes himself up, nearly dropping the bag of chips, eyes wide as he stares at Jungkook in utter disbelief.

“Are you kidding me, dude?” He asks incredulously. “You’re the same person, you idiot.”

“But she doesn’t know that,” Jungkook explains calmly. “As far as she knows, Spider-Man is this cool dude and I’m just… I’m just me. Jungkook. Boring and not charming.”

“So then tell her the truth,” Taehyung says. “Y’know, use yourself as your own wingman.”

As he shoves another handful of chips into his mouth, Jungkook shakes his head once more. He’s already thought of this idea plenty of times before but it’s not as easy as it seems. The responsibility that comes with putting on that mask each night is followed by even greater risks for the people he’s around. Telling you the truth could only end in one way, anyway.

“I can’t do that,” Jungkook says. “What if I tell her and she’s let down?”

Taehyung would shake his head disapprovingly at his friend this time and mumble something along the lines of, “You think too much.”

And while that may be true in Jungkook’s case, Taehyung just wouldn’t understand. There is a reason Taehyung is the only person who knows about Jungkook’s secret and he is already endangering the life of his friend. To tell anyone else would only result in a much more terrible outcome for not only the people around him, but Jungkook himself. Still, though, as Jungkook settles back on the edge of the fountain and looks in the direction of the path you had vanished along, there is an inkling of a voice in the back of his mind that nags him, urges him, to tell you.

Jungkook sighs. He finds it ironic that anytime he puts on the red mask and flings himself into perilous danger, he is always confident, never once wavering, and yet when he is just himself, just another mundane passerby, that same heart of steel that fuels his will and spirit suddenly pales in comparison.

If only he could be so brave without that mask.

On Friday evening well into the night when what little stars you can see in the polluted sky begins to blend with the glowing light from building windows as far as the eye can see you find yourself at an overcrowded and clamorous party. You had been more than content with spending the start of your weekend not working but, upon entering the party, you find yourself not nearly enjoying the time as well as you had hoped you would. You’ve long since lost sight of your friends and the guy standing in the corner of the living room who had been eyeing you for most of the night had most certainly not helped with your mood ━ and, if anything, turned you off from drinking.

Albeit still slightly buzzed from the few drinks you had earlier been bestowed in the quintessential red solo cup that defines every high school and college party you’ve been to, you stumble out onto the balcony of one of the rooms for a breath of fresh air and are startled to find you aren’t alone when you spot the figure of a young man leaning against the railing.

“Oh, shit, sorry. Didn’t know anyone was out here━”

As the figure turns around, you are relieved and thrilled to see it’s Jungkook. You stop yourself, clamping your mouth shut, and smile up at him with a dainty hand on your hip. A look of recognition dawns on his face at the sight of you, his own lips tugging into a friendly grin.

“That’s okay,” he says. “Feel free to join me on the balcony of escaped party attendees ━ because I assume that’s what you’re doing? Escaping?”

You push yourself forward to the railing, standing beside him as he turns back around to face the city. “I just needed a break from it all. You? I gotta say I’m pleasantly surprised to see you here.”

He flashes you a sheepish smile, resting his arms atop the railing and leaning forward. “Exactly. Parties aren’t really my scene. My friend, Taehyung, dragged me out here but this balcony seems to be my favourite place.”

“Well, if it means anything,” You tell him, “I’m glad you came.”

When you look at Jungkook, you find him already gazing at you, his lower lip tucked between his teeth. His carob eyes crinkle with the smile on his face and he finds himself still staring at you even long after you have turned away to stare up at the sky. It’s a surprisingly warm night, though you silently thank yourself for throwing on the denim jacket you’re wearing earlier in the day whenever a cool breeze breaks through the city.

“It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?” You say after a while. “That we can’t see the stars from the city. That’s why I like camping. Star-gazing and watching the sunrise are two of my favourite things. It kind of keeps me humble in a way.”

“That’s an interesting way of thinking about that,” Jungkook says. “Sometimes I get so carried away by being in the city; it’s kind of nice just to slow things down once in a while.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way,” You crane your neck to cast a steady gaze across the towering buildings in the near distance. “The city can be pretty beautiful, too, though.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” Your eyes twinkle playfully at a sudden thought that seems to warm your face. “And some of the people help make it beautiful. Like that spider guy. What he’s doing for the city is incredible.”

“Ah, right. Spider-Man.” The words leave Jungkook in a small exhale. “You must really like him, huh?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I can name a few. Like the police.”

“They’re just scared of him because he’s doing their job better than they ever could.”

Jungkook chuckles lightly. He shakes his head as he looks down at his clasped hands and the calluses on his fingers from past tribulations. It’s silent again, in which time the thump of bass from the party ensuing behind you two fills the air, followed by a burst of vigorous chanting and cheering from within.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Jungkook asks suddenly, his voice timid.

“Go ahead.”

Jungkook pauses, thinking. He seems to struggle with forming his thoughts into words as he remains silent for a second too long. “Okay, let’s say I know this person really important to me, and let’s say I have this thing ━ this equally as important thing ━ that I really want to tell them. The thing is, I can’t just do that because if I do, I’m afraid that this person will be let down. What do you think I should do?”

You’re quiet as you ponder his words, looking pensively down at the city below.

“Well,” You hum slowly, “what’s the point in hiding behind a fake front the whole time? It’s kind of like hiding behind a mask your whole life, right? And I think life is too short for that because, before you know it, it’ll be too late. What if you don’t tell this person and you end up regretting it for the rest of your life? I don’t know. Sometimes I think that you just meet the right person in life who’s worth that risk.”

Jungkook turns to look at you and suddenly your eyes meet in a steady, thoughtful gaze. His own stare softens at whatever sort of thoughts flood his mind and you wonder if his eyes have always been that shimmering. His tousled dark brown locks flitter slightly in the breeze, his pink lips parted ever so slightly. You open your mouth to speak, uttering his name in a euphonious whisper.

“Jungkook, I━”

But your voice is cut off abruptly by the influx sound of wailing sirens down below that convey some sort of grim situation unfolding somewhere in the formidable darkness of the night. Both you and Jungkook press yourselves over the railing, squinting down at the crowded streets below just in time to see a flash of blinking red lights and a mass of both police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks. From somewhere in the background from within the party, you can hear a voice exclaiming, “Dude, there’s a fire around the corner from here! The whole street is blocked off.”

“No way. What the hell happened?” Another voice asks.

You exchange a wary glance with Jungkook before slipping back into the party. A small group has formed around the t.v. in the living room, on which is playing the local news and showcasing a burning apartment building, the vicious orange flames of which billow out of opened windows and all but consume the top floor as clouds of gray and black smoke invade the night sky. There’s a reporter talking fast into the camera, describing in detail what had happened to the building on a nearby street, but your eyes can only stay fixated on the monstrous flames. You don’t realize Taehyung has somehow found both you and his friend and is standing behind the other boy, watching the news unfold before him. Unbeknownst to you, his stare flickers nervously to Jungkook and then━

“Shit,” Jungkook curses suddenly. “I gotta go.”

You turn to look at him curiously. “Go where? It’s midnight on a Friday.”

“I completely forgot I had to pick my aunt up from the subway,” he says. “She works the late night shifts and I can’t let her walk alone in the dark like this. I’ll see you both later! Let me know what happens with the fire.”

Taehyung, who seems more than accustomed to Jungkook’s abrupt pardon of his presence, nods. “Will do.”

The boy is already a few feet away from you, rushing toward the front door of the room, but you stop him before he can slip out of your reach entirely.

“Wait, Jungkook!” You call out. He spins around to look at you almost immediately, a look of panic on his face. “Don’t forget we have to meet up at the library on Sunday to work on the project.”

“Got it,” he says, raising his two forefingers to his forehead in a mock salute. He turns back around and begins bounding towards the door, giving you two one last wave. “See you later!”

The door slams shut behind him and the party, despite the group crowded around the t.v., carries on in a cacophonous sound of drunken yelling and dumb music, completely and utterly oblivious. You let out a sigh as you turn back to the t.v., noting Taehyung’s presence still beside you. He takes a satisfying sip of whatever beverage is occupying the red cup in his hand and nods.

“That’s Jungkook for you,” he says. His voice is a tired sigh, dispirited almost, as he thinks of the boy that has been his friend since freshman year of highschool. Just before he turns away, you hear him muttering, “Always putting others before him.”

You don’t see Jungkook that Sunday.

Whether or not he had entirely blown you off or had simply forgotten, you wait and wait in complete silence in the school library for nearly three hours as every call and every text you send to his phone goes otherwise unnoticed or ignored. It is entirely unlike Jungkook to completely vanish and though you want to be mad, you are more disappointed than anything else. You spend your time at a table by yourself, books and papers sprawled out before you, as you try to work diligently on the last piece of writing you need for the assignment to be complete whilst trying to not let your eyes wander to the time on the clock hanging on the wall opposite you but to no avail.

In a corner above the front desk, you see a t.v. propped on the wall that plays the silent image of the news as they recall the events from that Friday at the burning building. Fortunately, that spider guy had arrived before any casualties could happen and you watch, for the third time since Friday, as the recording footage shows the red and blue hero swinging defiantly into the wall of fire and pulling various residents from the fire. A duo of girls sitting next to you croons dreamily over the masked man, especially as they witness him emerging from the fire with a small and unscathed Corgi dog in his hands that, you admit, is rather admirable.

On Wednesday night, you find yourself stuck in the sparkling confinements of the café bound to the six hour shift you were in the midst of completing. It’s surprisingly busy for a day in the middle of the week, though you assume that’s only because each customer is in a rush to seek refuge from the surprisingly cold evening. You hadn’t even been thinking about Jungkook when he makes himself known in the café some time after 9 p.m. You hear the bell ring above the door, feel a short gust of shocking wind, before it shuts behind him. When you look up instinctively to greet the newcomer and lay your eyes on the boy, your words fall short.

You watch as he stumbles forward, his feet practically dragging behind him in worn up Converse shoes. He looks exhausted ━ even more so than usual ━ and judging by his dishevelled hair and crumpled clothes and the way he seems to walk in a daze as if he is in another world, you assume he hasn’t slept in a while. He still hauls his backpack with one strap slung over his shoulder that he drops lazily to the ground beside a table before he plops himself down into the seat with a groan in one swift motion. What’s most strange are the blossoming bruises on his neck and the fresh cut on the highest point of his left cheekbone.

You hate that you’re so weak for that boy; that even though he completely ignored you, you still pity him. Wondering what sorts of trouble he’s been finding himself in lately, you pour him a cup of steaming black coffee and walk towards his table. He hardly even notices you as his head is buried in his folded arms atop the table, though he peeks up past his bangs when you slide the coffee beside him.

“I’d hate to see the other guy,” You hum.

His eyes brighten at the sight of you and he pushes himself up, raking a hand through his unkempt hair in a poor attempt to fix it. “Y/N━”

“Where were you, Jungkook?” You ask sternly, suddenly. “On Sunday? I waited for you for over three hours. I called you and texted you and you completely ignored me. You could have at least gotten back to me. I had to finish the rest of the assignment by myself.”

His brow creases with concern, his stare softening apologetically. He leans forward, suddenly helpless.

“I’m sorry,” he stammers. “I━I didn’t mean to━ Something came up.”

“Whatever, Jungkook,” You sigh. “It’s fine. I can’t stay and chat but I’ll have you know I already handed the assignment in online. You’re welcome. Oh, and the coffee’s on the house. You look like crap.”

You spin on your heel and march away to help another customer before Jungkook can even try to talk to you. He watches as you slip from his grasp, a frown scrunching up your face that is forced to soften as you approach another table. He collapses against his chair and groans inwardly, rubbing his hand over his aching and swollen face. He knows you’re mad at him but he can’t quite tell if you’ll stay like that for long. He doesn’t blame you anyway, but he couldn’t just tell you where he had gone or what had happened. Could he?

It’s much to his dismay that you don’t talk to him the next day, or on Tuesday, or on Wednesday, or on Thursday. He tries to find you around campus but he is always too late and, instead, finds you slipping away from him each time. He pops into the café a few nights and though you work both nights, it’s still much too busy to actually talk to you and so he, doing what he does best, falls asleep at the table as he silently broods. Whether or not it’s your anger purposely driving you further from him or simply life intervening, Jungkook wants nothing more than to apologize ━ if he can even get close enough to you to do so.

Finding yourself on the rooftop of your apartment building isn’t uncommon. Most of your free time is spent up there, either watching the night sky or gazing at the busy city under a cerulean blue sky and golden sun. That Friday night is no different. With no homework and no social gathering to devote yourself to, you sneak off to the roof and position yourself in just a spot where you can see the towering buildings of each borough in each direction you cast your gaze. You would have been content falling asleep up there, with nothing but the sound of the distant hum of cars to lull you and the view of the moon and window lights that act as the metropolis’s stars.

You all but lose track of time, unaware of whether or not you have been there for minutes or hours but you don’t entirely mind. You would be lying, too, if you denied that there was some sort of inkling of hope in you that hoped maybe you would see him again. That is why when you hear the soft plop of feet dropping to the ground moments later, you are not at all startled by the sudden presence, though you are astounded by his arrival, as if on cue. You don’t even need him to speak to know who it is and when you feel the smile ghost along your lips, there is a moment of pause where you question your own sanity for being so happy to see this masked and mysterious man. But he isn’t at all a mystery at this point when you feel as if you’ve acquainted yourself with him well enough.

“You shouldn’t be out here all alone,” The voice that drifts through the shadows of the roof is familiar, gentle. “It’s dark. Who knows who could come up here?���

“Yeah,” You snort. “Wouldn’t want any strangers sneaking up on me ━ or masked vigilantes who seem to be following me.”

You turn to look at him but are greeted with nothing except emptiness. He lingers somewhere in the darkness and you squint your eyes, desperately trying to spot him. He laughs, the sound so silvery and smooth like honey.

“Someone’s following you?” he replies tauntingly. “Do I have to deal with them again?”

“Why are you always hiding in the dark?”

The sudden question seems to cause him to hesitate. It’s silent before you hear his voice wander over to you.

“To add to the mystique?” he says.

“Now that’s suspicious. Maybe I should call the police on you.”

“They would never be able to catch me.”

“Someone’s cocky,” You take a step toward the darkness, in the direction of the sound of his voice. “Did the fame get to you already?”

You hear him take a step back from you and it, subsequently, causes you to linger. You wait before stubbornly pushing yourself forward once more.

“What fame? People want to lock me up.”

“And most people are in love with you. I overheard a few girls gushing over you saving that dog from that burning building the other day,” You giggle. “Does it mean anything to you?”

“Ah, well,” You can hear the grin in his voice, can see the silhouette of his figure not too far from you, “I gotta admit the attention is pretty nice. But no one knows who I am without this mask so it doesn’t really matter.”

“How does that make you feel?”

One step forward, another backward. You pause; at this rate, you’ll have chased him all the way to the other side of the roof.

“I don’t mind. It keeps me humble,” he replies. “But it also stops me a lot of the time, y’know? With this mask on, I feel invincible; with it off, I feel useless. But someone pretty important to me once told me that life is too short to constantly hide behind a mask.”

A wide, genuine smile stretches across your face. You take another step forward and this time he stands still. From where you are, you can see the tall and lean figure, adorned in the signature tight red and blue suit.

“That’s pretty smart of them to say.”

“She is pretty admirable. Much braver than I could ever be without this mask.”

He turns around from you before you can reach him. You watch as he casually strides forward a few paces to the barrier behind him, which he props his hands against to lean on. He seems to be lost in thought, perhaps struggling with some sort of inner turmoil. You tiptoe in suit, cautious as you approach him. You can see the muscles that strain from beneath his suit, the heave and fall of his chest.

“Can I know your name?” Your voice is a gentle whisper that carries to him with the wind. “Your real name?”

When he turns around to face you once more, you’re standing only a few feet away from him. You take another step forward, closing the short distance between the two of you and are made aware of how much taller he really is. The way he towers over you is almost comforting, familiar, that no emotionless red mask could cause you to stray. He’s so much more different up close in that suit. He hesitates before he forces himself to speak.

“I think,” he pauses. He swallows thickly, attempting to subdue the quickening race of his heart as he clamps his fingers into his sweaty palms. “I think you already know my name.”

This seems to pique your interest. Quirking a brow and cocking your head to the side, you stare up at the masked face that gazes back down at you. You aren’t entirely sure what compels you to do so, as it could be a complete disaster and not at all what you are expecting, but you slowly, so very slowly, reach up with your hands to grasp gingerly at his face. The red fabric beneath your fingertips is soft and as your digits brush lightly over his covered cheekbones, he hardly moves. For some reason, you can feel your heart hammering against your feeble chest, can hear it in your ears in tandem with the sound of passing traffic down below. His heart is beating just as fast, though he thinks it nearly stops when he feels your fingers begin to gently pull at the neck of his mask, sliding it upward.

The first poke of tanned skin has your heart quickening, your breath hitching in your throat. You tug the mask the rest of the way off and, finally, step back to look at the mysterious masked hero known as Spider-Man.

Jungkook.

It’s Jungkook.

The familiar boy stands before you, his hair a disheveled mess from the mask, his doe eyes even wider now in timid fear as he looks down at you. Everything is him, from his luscious pink lips, to the freckle on his neck, the piercings in his ears, that tiny scar he’s had since he was a child on his cheek. The city lights and moon illuminate him from behind and he seems nervous as he anticipates a reaction but you are much too busy admiring him. Your fingers trace delicately over the fresh scar on his face that he had brandished at the café only a few nights ago. A breath of satisfaction slips past your parted lips and then you’re laughing silently to yourself.

The boy looks dumbfounded at first, and then he quirks a brow. “What’s so funny?”

“I knew it,” You shake your head at nothing in particular, or perhaps the way you continue to giggle.

Jungkook suddenly looks shocked, though he instantly seems to relax. He studies the smile that stretches across your cheeks in awe, brightening your face in all its glory. “How did you know?”

“Well, you’re not exactly that smooth, Jungkook,” You grin. “The late nights coming into the café, always scratched up and always tired as if you’ve ran all over the city; always getting jumpy when you hear police sirens ━ like the night at the party. Not to mention that one time at the café when the news was on and they were talking about a robbery at the bank and hostages being held and you ran right out of there only for Spider-Man to show up on the scene minutes later. It’s all very suspicious, don’t you think?”

He can’t help the laugh that escapes him, a joyous sound of content. He leans against the palm of your hand that is cradling the side of his face with the scar.

“Right,” he sighs. “All very suspicious.”

His stare locks with yours in a steady gaze and neither of you can turn away. His eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky, lingering with it a sense of hope and content. He is mesmerizing, with the city he devotes his time to saving in the horizon beyond him. It’s near impossible to look away, but why would you want to? It happens much like a blink of an eye, a frail beat of your heart; it comes with the passing of a car whizzing by on the streets down below and is as much startling as the sudden breeze that sends chills down your spine.

He begins to lean forward ━ or maybe that was you? Your eyes flutter shut, your anticipation held with a deep breath, until finally your lips meet with his though you hardly have time to relish in it. Almost as soon as your lips touch, he’s pulling away quickly. He doesn’t move too far and his mouth lingers just over yours. His eyes remain fixated on the curl of your lips for a moment too long before he rips them away to meet your hazy gaze.

“Wait,” he hums. “You━ You said you were crushing on Spider-Man. Does that mean you knew this whole time and━ and like me?”

The question is so like Jungkook; so innocent and silly and genuine that it causes a sweet giggle to bubble at your lips. He’s always been so oblivious to these kinds of things and so maybe that’s what pushes you to kiss him next. Your lips lock for a second time and, though it is just as fleeting, you note with joy the softness of his mouth as it folds over yours. You part from him with a breathless gasp, your nose brushing lightly against his as a smile stretches across your face.

“What do you think, bugboy?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, a playful taunt that makes Jungkook smile wide.

He kisses you this time, slow and passionate as if attempting to pour every single one of his emotions and thoughts for you into the single intimate action. His hands grasp at either side of your face, carefully pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss and you, instinctively, melt against his broad chest. Your fingers trail up the lean muscle of his arms to twine in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging with yearning. His hands fall to your waist, enveloping you in his body, and when he parts from you, he rests his forehead against yours.

“Can I show you something?”

You nod. His eyes light up and then he’s jumping up onto the cement barrier behind him, turning around to look at you. You gasp from the sudden movement, your stomach churning unpleasantly at the sight of him quite literally standing on the edge of a building only to remind yourself he’s Spider-Man. He’s done plenty more reckless things than this. He holds his hand out, a reassuring smile on his face.

“Do you trust me?” he asks.

There’s no hesitation as you answer him with another firm nod. “Of course. Always.”

“Then take my hand,” he says. “I’ll never do anything to harm you, you know that.”

You do know that. Jungkook wouldn’t hurt a fly; he’s too good and precious for the world you live in and he says yes far too often to people who most likely don’t deserve it, but he knows when to stand up for not only himself but others as well. You are just one of the few he cares for wholeheartedly and you know that.

You reach out carefully and place your hand in his surprisingly cold and large ones. His fingers wrap around yours as he helps you up onto the barrier, holding you closely toward him.

You take a deep breath, shut your eyes, and put every ounce of your trust into this single, courageous boy ━ and you let yourself fall with him.

You’re roused awake by the sound of light tapping against your bedroom window.

It startles you at first, causing you to jolt upright into a sitting position as you look around frantically at your empty and dark room; the only light comes from the city life and the moon outside, shedding a warm glow onto the floor before it. For a moment, you think you had just dreamt the noise but then you hear it again, low and near. You crane your neck to look and first see a shadow but, as the figure shifts into view, you’re able to see the familiar young man in red and blue. Your heart leaps in your chest and suddenly you’re scrambling off your feet, throwing yourself at the window to throw it open.

The night Jungkook had admitted to being Spider-Man and jumped up onto the edge of the roof, holding his hand out to you in a silent question of trust, he leaves you with a night that you swear you will cherish forever. Wary of where he will go but entirely consenting of his spontaneity, he surprises you by carrying you throughout the city, swinging from building to building in an extraordinary feat that feels as if you’re flying; and, as if that hadn’t been a big enough thrilling shock, he brings you to the very top of the Empire State Building, just under the antenna. No one is there and no one can see you and, with Jungkook under the brightening sky with the view of New York stretching out into the horizon before you, you feel as if you have the whole world in the very palm of your hand.

You sit with Jungkook that night, talking, not talking, listening intently to him as he recounts the tale of how he had turned into the masked hero with his peculiar powers, and watching the sunrise from beyond the very tops of buildings and skyscrapers. There are no words to describe the breathtaking view from one of the highest points in the city, watching as the golden sun peaks over the horizon and sets the city ablaze in saturated warm hues of orange, pink, and purple, mingling together in one impressionistic masterpiece that could put even the greatest of painters to shame. The light reflects against the glass panes of windows in a mirage similar to flickering flames that never scathe the city, but instead seem to enhance the beauty it holds.

You never want the night to end but eventually it does and, when he returns you to your bedroom window with one parting kiss, it and Jungkook’s lips are all you can dream about.

A week has passed since then, in which time you’ve done nothing but find yourself growing closer with Jungkook. He’s all you’ve been able to think about these days. So, to hear him and see him at your window is enough to make butterflies form in the very pit of your stomach. You see him sitting on the fire escape just outside your window, leaning against the building looking even more exhausted than usual. Another fresh cut lines his cheek in a stripe of red though he doesn’t seem to mind much for it as he dozes off slightly. You push open the window, startling him awake, and poke your head outside. A weary smile tugs at his lips at the sight of you.

“Well, this is romantic,” You stifle the giggle that bubbles at your mouth. “Thank you for not throwing rocks at my window, Romeo. To what do I owe this pleasure of seeing you at two in the morning?”

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he asks sheepishly. “I just wanted to see you.”

His response earns a shy smile stretching across your face. “No, you didn’t wake me,” You say with a shake of your head (though the way you comb your fingers through your mused hair tells him otherwise). “What happened to your face, Jungkook?”

He reaches up to his face, as if momentarily forgetting the cut, winces, and then drops his hand from his face. He grins wolfishly, attempting to shrug it off. “Oh, this little thing? It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I just got caught up in a little fight but I’m fine. I swear. You really should see the other guy.”

The smug tone in his voice as he rambles on makes you stare at him in amusement. You sigh as you take a step back, saying, “Come inside. I’ll clean that for you.”

“Well, if you insist.”

He smirks as he pulls himself through the window and into your room. His eyes wander around the four walls, noting the decor that lines it, the shelves with all your personal trinkets and belongings, the clothes littered on the floor, and the empty take-out box of Chinese food that rests atop your desk. There’s a soft aroma of something sweet that smells like you ━ possibly a perfume or a soap or shampoo? ━ and it makes Jungkook’s head spin pleasantly. He asks about your day and then sits on the bed and, as you tell him about your boring classes as you rummage around your bathroom for something to clean his wound with, he smiles.

He finds your room comforting ━ or maybe he just finds your presence comforting. Either way, over time you find that this would only be a common occurrence throughout the next month. He startles you the first few times he shows up but then you begin to stay awake a little longer, waiting eagerly by the window as you wait for him to arrive. Most times he’s bruised or has small and fresh cuts, of which you either hand him an ice packet or clean the cut; sometimes he isn’t even hurt and instead claims simply that he just wanted to see you before you went to sleep. But each time he listens to you and your day, asking about yourself rather than him and no matter how hard you try to pry information out of him about what had possibly happened to him throughout his night, he swiftly brushes it off. You don’t mind either way ━ you just want to see him as much as you can, anyway.

There is one night, however, where things seem to go entirely different.

You’re curled up in bed reading a book when you hear the light tapping on your window. You’ve come to leave the window pried open slightly as you wait for him, but even so he still takes the time to knock to signal his arrival. You instantly climb to your feet, wandering over to the window and tossing it open with a flourish. As Jungkook climbs in through the small space, you note the tight suit he’s wearing is slashed at the top of his arm and both the skin underneath it and on his face is bruised and cut; other than that, and judging by the cheeky smile on his face, he seems to be ok.

You shake your head at him, smiling gingerly as you muse, “Who’s the damsel in distress now, bugboy?”

Jungkook smirks, prodding your sides with his fingers and causing you to squirm as you walk past him. “There’s no shame in needing a little help every once and awhile, right? I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Sit down,” You tell him, winking up at him. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Minutes later you return to sit by his side on the bed, cleaning his cuts as per usual and, while he has a frozen packet of peas pressed to his bruised and sore shoulder, you are busying yourself by sewing the cut in his suit with blue thread you had found in your room. In the midst of your work, perhaps you press too generously down on his recent wound, as he winces slightly and shifts on top of your bed. You crane your neck to look up at him, studying him curiously. He seems to notice your stare and quirks a brow as he looks down at you.

“What’s up?”

Your fingers stop their work on his suit and, remembering where the cut had broken his skin just slightly underneath the tear, brush lightly over the tender flesh covered in gauze. “Does it hurt?”

Jungkook shakes his head, sitting up a little straighter. “Hurt? No, no, of course not. It just, uh━ It isn’t the most pleasant. But this isn’t the worst I’ve been after a night in the suit so I can handle it.”

Your eyes study his battered face in some sort of admiration, albeit mixed with timid nervousness. What sort of things had he encountered, had he been through, that he won’t tell you?

“Are you ever afraid?” You ask gently.

“No way,” he shakes his head, but not before you spot the confident grin he flashes you. “It’s honestly nothing I can’t handle by now. It’s not so bad, either. It’s kinda weird. I mean, ever since getting bitten, I’ve found the healing process is a whole lot faster.”

Maybe he notices the lingering uneasiness in your eyes, the way you seem to doubt him. He reaches out with his fingers to gingerly brush against the side of your face in a swift flourish as he tilts your head a little higher. He smiles something warm that makes your heart melt as you lean your face against the palm of his calloused hand. To avoid the prying stare he gives you, you smile lightly and shake your head, attempting to change the subject.

“Dunno, bugboy. Are there any perks to this job?”

Jungkook snorts as you finish sewing his suit. As you discard the needle and leftover thread, he says, “There are. Like, for instance, knowing the city is a little safer. Then there’s the fact that Spider-Man seems to have a lot of admirers…”

“I thought you said it doesn’t matter anyway because no one knows who you are.”

“Well, there is you,” he says. “And I gotta say you’re a pretty good perk.”

A blush tinges your cheeks as you sit across from him. Your eyes flicker down the suit that adorns him and you try to bite back the lighthearted snicker that bubbles at your chest. “I was gonna say a perk is this tight suit. At least, for me it is. Your ass has never looked more fantastic.”

Jungkook suddenly bursts out into laughter, throwing his head back. When he looks back at you, his hand finds the side of your face once more and pulls you towards him. With your lips hovering just over his, he mumbles something, anything, just for the sake of responding despite already being lost in you.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Then you’re kissing him.

You’ve come to find that Jungkook’s lips are entirely irresistible and the more you kiss him, the more you wonder why you hadn’t confessed to him earlier. He’s gentle as he lets his lips fold over yours, mouth dancing with mouth in a passionate yearning. But there’s a certain type of underlying insatiable hunger that seems to wash over both you and him and fast. Your fingers rake up the side of his face and tangle in his messy locks and soon he’s pulling you onto the bed, onto him. You instinctively straddle his lap, craning your neck so as to deepen the kiss, never once breaking apart for air. But something seems to happen, something that startles Jungkook so deeply. Perhaps it’s the way you grasp his hair a little tighter, the way he heard you gasp when he bites down gently on the side of your jaw, the way your hips fit over his; or perhaps it’s the way you tug off your shirt in an attempt to get closer to him, displaying to him the plain white bra you’re wearing that all culminate into something more. He knows where this is going, you know where this is going ━ and though Jungkook would want nothing more than to carry on, he’s reminded of a terrifying and prominent thought that has always haunted him the moment he made that mask.

You feel the way he tenses beneath you and, in the next quick second, he’s pulling apart from you and you, so dazed and lost, gasping for air, stare down at him dumbfounded.

“What’s wrong, Jungkook?” You ask. “Did I hurt you? Is your arm okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says weakly.

You grin as you press another kiss to his throat, mumbling into his neck, “Good, then let’s━”

“No.”

“What?”

You sit back on his lap suddenly, staring at him with a flushed face. Your hair is mussed messily, a red bruise blossoms on your jawline that Jungkook had graced you with, and one strap of your bra hangs daintily over your shoulder and Jungkook can’t help but notice how utterly sexy you look. He groans inwardly, tearing his gaze to look up at you. He swallows thickly, wincing at the bright and innocent twinkle in your eyes.

“We━” he pauses and then says, “We can’t do this.”

You quirk a brow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he says slowly, carefully, “we can’t do this. I’m━ I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was thinking but I should have stopped this sooner.”

“Stop what?” Your voice is weak, small. You know what he’s referring to but you don’t want to believe it just yet.

Fuck, I can’t do this, Jungkook curses to himself. If he had just stayed away from you from the beginning, this wouldn’t even be happening. He wouldn’t be about to hurt you or himself.

“Us,” he whispers. “There can’t be an us, Y/N.”

Your brows knit together in confusion but your eyes are wide with fear. “What are you talking about? How can there not be an us? I thought━ I thought you wanted this.”

When he hesitates to respond, you’re quick to slide off of his lap, standing to your feet. Suddenly you’re panicking, embarrassed. He sees the way your lips are pulled tightly in a thin line, the way you rake your hands through your hair, mumbling, “Oh my god,” as you search for a shirt. Jungkook springs to his feet, grasping onto your waist but you easily slither out of his reach, clutching your shirt to your chest. To you, you think you have just made a fool of yourself, nearly striping naked for a boy who apparently doesn’t want you. Jungkook knows this is what you’re thinking and it pains him so.

“No, no, I do,” he says. “I do want this! I just can’t do it.”

“And why not?” You snap hotly. “You’re not making any sense. Either you do or you don’t want us to be a thing.”

“It’s not that simple━”

“It sure seems like it is.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Any explanation would be better than none,” You say firmly, “and simultaneously making me look like an idiot for looking so eager.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. He takes a step back from you, running both hands frustratedly through his hair, letting the muscles in his biceps flex as he does so. When he looks back at you, he’s solemn.

“There can’t be an us because I’m just gonna put you in danger this way,” he says. “People are out there looking for me! Not just the police, but hardcore criminals, gangs, thugs, murderers. If they find me, or if they find out that you’re close to me or know me, they’ll hurt you too. I can’t have that, Y/N.”

“But I can handle it,” You insist.

“I can’t,” Jungkook’s voice is stern, set in place. “I can’t have that on my conscience, knowing that if you get hurt, it’s because of me. That’s all I ever worry about, from the second that I put this mask on. No one knows about me being Spider-Man and I kept it that way for a reason. Don’t you think I could have flaunted that I was this supposed super cool new hero? I didn’t do that because of you; because of the people that I’m close to.”

“I don’t care,” Your voice is feeble, cracking. “I don’t care if I get hurt. If you can handle it, then so can I! I just want to be with you, Jungkook. I━ I love you━”

Jungkook hears the words you blurt out quickly but he doesn’t seem to necessarily register them at once. A stiff silence settles in the room between the two of you, an undeniable form of the point of no return, except you don’t regret the words you say. You mean them wholeheartedly because you have always admired and loved Jungkook, from the little boy next door to this young hero before you. You stare at him shyly, albeit unwavering. A panic washes over him, drains his face of any colour, and suddenly it feels as if he can’t breathe, his chest concaving in on his shrill heart. As the words begin to register in his mind, he can only sorrowfully gaze at you; but the lack of silence has your confidence paling and soon you’re looking away, shaking your head. A pained expression paints your features and though it hurts Jungkook more than any other wound that has been inflicted upon him in fights on the street prior to this, he knows he has to do this.

You already know his answer before he even speaks it. When he does say the final words that leave you in such an excruciating and unbearable pain, he has already fled, grabbing his mask and escaping out of the window, escaping from you, and into the heart of the city. When he’s gone and you’re alone in the thick silence do his words finally return to you and are the cause of the broken heart you are forced to nurse through muddled tears over the aimless days to come:

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

You don’t see Jungkook the next day or the day after that.

In fact, you don’t see him for three entire weeks. He stops showing up at the café late at night, stops attending the classes he has with you (or maybe he just blends well into the other somber looking faces), stops visiting your window in the early morning hours. Autumn bleeds numbly into the beginning shock of cold that is winter and, though there is no snow yet, you still feel the wrath of the frigid season. And, with the sudden loss of Jungkook, comes the abrupt and unwarranted disappearance of Spider-Man. Maybe it is your fault, maybe it is Jungkook’s fault. Either way, the masked enigma vanishes without a trace after your argument with Jungkook and the city’s crime, now freed from the vigilant watchful eyes of New York’s hero, spikes.

It feels almost as if the city has swallowed him whole or as if he has dropped off the face of the earth and the only thing to remember him by is the sudden havoc that ensues the city. The only thing you have to even know if Jungkook is still alive are the occasional updates from Taehyung who comes to befriend you if only to mention Jungkook every once and awhile just for the sake of easing your worried mind. You’re not so much mad as you are upset, but you care entirely more for his own wellbeing and to not hear from him causes you agony.

There is only one brisk moment in which you encounter Jungkook and it comes simply from a happenstance. You are not at all expecting to see him and nor is he expecting to see you. Rather, you are seated on a wooden bench in the park just beside your school on a day graced with a strange warmth for winter. Wrapped in a scarf and knit hat, you are flipping through the pages of a book for one of your classes when a figure stands before you, momentarily blocking the sun’s light from your view. As you glance up at the shadow cast over you, you are genuinely surprised to find Jungkook standing there. He looks, perhaps, even more so dishevelled than usual, his hair and attire all one negligent mess as if he couldn’t even find the strength to care for himself. Dark circles line his sunken eyes which stare down at you sorrowfully.

“Y/N… Can I talk to you?”

Your heart skips a beat. For a moment, you can’t turn away from him. For a moment, you fear that you will cave into him but then you are reminded of your broken heart. It’s what causes you to act in such haste, shaking your head up at him as you shut your book and shove it into your bag. You stand to your feet and brush past him and he, so caught up in your rejection of him and the own twinge of pain he feels in his heart, lingers by the bench. Then, he is walking after you, his footsteps swiftly catching him up to you.

“Y/N. Y/N, wait! Please, just let me━”

Jungkook breaks out into a sudden jog and only stops when he is standing in front of you. With your path blocked, you, too, come to a halt if only for the benefit of the doubt. He desperately tries to meet your eyes but you look past him, arms folded over your chest.

“Let me talk to you,” he begs. “Away from here. Just you and me. I can explain everything. I━”

“You had your chance, Jungkook,” You quip dryly. “You didn’t have to run away from me.”

“I wasn’t━ I didn’t mean to━” he tries, but is interrupted once more by your strained voice.

“You left me.” Now you are staring at him and Jungkook wishes that you hadn’t even bothered to give him the chance. Once full of shimmering admiration, your eyes are only glossed over with a pained disappointment. “I told you I loved you and you left me. You made me look so stupid and I━ No. No, I’m not doing this right now.”

You push yourself forward, walking carefully around him. He watches as you storm away, shaking your head to yourself. With one last despairing attempt, he calls out to you once more.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps. “I let you down. I know. I’m a failure.”

You stop. Your back is turned to him before you force yourself to look over at him and he foolishly thinks that maybe you’ll give him a chance to properly explain himself. Instead━

“You’re not a failure, Jungkook,” You tell him firmly. “I just━ I need to be alone right now. But don’t leave them. Don’t let them down. The city needs you.”

Jungkook flinches. He wants to call out to you again and pull you back to him, explain everything that is on his mind, but he can’t. Instead, he is forced to watch you walk away from him until you disappear amongst the crowd and even then he doesn’t move. He knows you’re disappointed with him.

He knows the whole city is disappointed with him ━ but the only person he wants to impress is you and he fears he’s ruined his only chance to.

You hardly seem to sleep at night anymore, instead too caught up in the thoughts that plague your dreams. Instead of going to the roof as you usually do when you can’t sleep, you find yourself lying helplessly in your bed, staring up at the empty night sky through your window. One night, as you’re dozing off on your bed, your eyes blinking wearily as they try to focus on the shimmering moon, you begin to hear a noise. It’s similar to a light tapping, though it drowns out in the sound of a siren from somewhere down below. At first you believe you have just dreamt it but then you hear a loud thud, slightly muffled from somewhere outside your window. It jolts you awake, has you pushing yourself up into a sitting position, and glancing around your room for any sign of something that may have fallen in there before noticing a flash of movement from the corner of your eye.

Red and blue.

Interest piques your drowsy mind at the thought of it being Jungkook but why would he be returning to you now? You would have been entirely set on begrudgingly flopping back down onto your bed and turning your back to him had you not felt that dreadful feeling that something was terribly wrong. You can’t hear his voice and when you turn to get a better look, you find him standing on the fire escape just outside your window, slumped dangerously against the wall with his back to you. It is that dreaded feeling that pushes you out of your bed, drags you to your window which you lightly throw open, only to be met with a sight that leaves you in horrific shock.

Jungkook is adorned in his usual tight red and blue suit, though his mask is off and gives you a clear view of his weary face, now muted in colour, that your eyes land on first. His eyes are shut, his head rests against the brick wall of the building, and his skin is marked with dirt and grime, bruises and dried blood. As your eyes trail lower, following the curve of his arms to his hands that cradle his side, you finally spot the large wound from beneath his fingertips on the left of his abdomen, shimmering a bright crimson red. Immediately your heart sinks to your stomach as you gasp loudly.

“Oh my god! Jungkook!”

Shimmying your way through the window to get closer to the boy hardly has him stirring. Your hands come out to grasp at his face, forcing him from his slouched position.

“Jungkook, can you hear me? What the hell happened?”

His eyes flicker open momentarily at the touch of your warm fingers and he musters a small smirk, the corners of his lips lifting up just slightly.

“It’s just a scratch,” he mumbles hoarsely. “You should definitely see the other guy now.”

“You’re an idiot,” You grumble, your eyebrows knitting into a frown. “Why are you here? You should have gone to the hospital! I’m taking you right now━”

“No, no,” he protests stubbornly. He shifts his weight and immediately flinches from the pain. “No, you can’t. I’ll be okay. I just━ I need some time to rest.”

A deep sigh exhales past your parted lips at the mention of what had happened the night he fled so suddenly. Instead, you brush off the memory and give him a small shake of your head. “Here, stop talking. Let me help you get inside and I’ll see what I can do for you. This is gonna hurt a bit but can you move?”

Jungkook nods. As you wrap your arm carefully around his waist to shift him over to the window, he sucks in a deep breath and pushes himself forward. You try to help as he stiffly climbs in through the small window, grunting in pain as he does so, and then stumbling into your room and bumping into your desk next to the window, knocking a few trinkets down. As he leans dangerously against your now skewed desk, you hurry through the window and help him to his feet, pulling him over to your bed.

Despite the way he had left you so suddenly days ago, there is no air of stiffness in the room. The only thing that surrounds the two of you is a melancholic silence as you rummage around your room for the medkit you knew you had stowed away eons ago. For the most part, Jungkook patches himself up, downing a couple of painkillers, cleaning his wound in his abdomen and stitching it closed with a steady hand that has evidently done this before. You sit across from him in your desk chair, watching him intently as he sits on your bed, having shrugged off the top part of his suit and leaving his torso exposed. Other than the blood and dirt that cakes his golden skin, you take note of the toned muscles that make his abs and the way they flex in tandem with every time he winces as he tugs at his wound.

When he’s done, the silence is still unmoving. Jungkook wants to speak but his throat is dry and any time he dares open his mouth to say something, anything, he immediately recoils. It’s only when you’re helping him into your bathroom so he can take a shower does he finally gather the courage he needed all this time without his mask on. Before you can turn to walk away on him, he catches your attention by calling your name. When he speaks next, his voice is faint, terrified.

“I’m sorry.”

He gulps when you turn to look up at him and suddenly he’s made aware of the fact that the two of you are cramped so closely together in your small bathroom. It makes the shame he feels more prominent as he looks you in the eyes.

“You were the first person I could think of when this happened,” he says. “I━ I know I have no right to be here after what I did to you but I just needed someone. I needed you.”

Your heart flutters at his words though you hide this feeble act by turning away from him. “It’s whatever, Jungkook,” He hears you mumble faintly, your back to him. “Anything I can do to help.”

He wants to say something more but he hesitates again. He watches as you take a deep breath, the heave of your shoulders under a heavy weight, before you ultimately walk out of the door and shut it behind you, leaving it slightly ajar. You linger in your bedroom, standing in front of your window as you gaze out, absentmindedly gnawing on your lower lip as you fold your arms tighter around your torso. You hear the shower switch on, let the calming sound of falling water wash over you, and shut your eyes momentarily. You can still see the light from the bathroom pouring out into the darkness of your room from the angled door, and can see the steam start to cloud the mirror.

There’s something so indistinctly intimate about having him in your shower in the next room over after days of avoiding one another. You have every right to be enraged and upset with him and yet you aren’t. You can’t bring yourself to ever hate the boy in the room over. You understand why he left so abruptly and it makes sense but now, in that moment in time, with nothing but a wall dividing you two, there is a certain type of craving you can’t subdue. A craving and a yearning to be closer to him; to tell him how you feel before, if even, he decides to flee in the morning after.

You blame it on your stubbornness that pushes you forward. Really, it seems to happen in such a haze, a rush of adrenaline. One moment, you’re standing by the window; in the next moment, you’re by the bathroom door, your fingers clutching the handle. As you push it open, you can only see a misty silhouette of Jungkook’s figure from beyond the steamed glass doors of the shower. Your heart is hammering against your chest as you walk to the shower, slowly kicking off your shorts as you go.

Jungkook must hear you as you make your way into the bathroom because as soon as you carefully slide open the glass door, he’s already staring at you with a lack of surprise, noting the baggy t-shirt you wear and the way his heart flips when he imagines you in a similar shirt of his. You only meet his curious eyes, noting the water that trickles down his toned and glistening body and flattens his usual unkempt hair into his lashes. He shakes his hair out of his eyes and suddenly he looks remorseful. It’s almost as if he can read your mind and anticipates every second you take to just step inside, his eyes beckoning you to come. It’s not like he cares; in fact, he wants you next to him. God, he just wants you so bad.

Steady hands find the hem of your baggy white t-shirt that you lift up and over your head, exposing the smooth expanse of your bare stomach and the perk of your bare breasts. You shimmy out of your baby pink underwear and, suddenly, you’re standing completely vulnerable before him and yet this is all he wants and all you want. You step inside the shower, closing the distance between you and him even more until you’re right in front of him, letting the warm water pour down onto you. It’s become stifling hot in that little space and there’s only a split moment where you fear you’ve made a mistake before you feel Jungkook’s hand come up to gently hold the side of your face. His thumb caresses your cheekbone, his eyes gazing into yours, and then he’s kissing you.

It’s a soft kiss, one where he takes his time to thoroughly enjoy it, first kissing your upper lip, then your lower lip in some sort of sensual manner that leaves chills running down your spine. He leaves a trail of warm and wet kisses from your jawline to your neck, nuzzling his nose against your throat as your breath catches. His hands fall to grasp at your hips, yanking you toward him and you so easily comply, melting completely into his broad chest and immediately feeling a sense of warmth as if you’ve always belonged there, wrapped up in his strong arms.

“You’re blushing,” he remarks gently, making you realize he’s pulled apart from you to study your face. His fingers brush away the hair that falls into your eyes and he smiles. “You’re blushing now after you walked in on me naked? God, you’re so cute.”

You whine something in protest, burying your face in his neck and he laughs. His fingers tickle at your sides, causing you to squirm in his grip, and when you look at him again, his stare is tender and fond.

“Come here,” he mumbles.

You let him pull you into another kiss that has your head spinning. His tongue grazes your lower lip, teeth slightly nibbling down on the flesh in a way that jolts your heart. As your hands snake up his chest to wind with the hair at the nape of his neck, your own mouth parts open, letting his tongue twine with yours in a heated kiss. He can feel everything against his own body, from the perk of your breasts to the slope of your hips. His hands slide down to rest upon your lower back and the way he pulls you flush against him, letting you brush against his firm cock, makes your head spin again. It’s what wills you to start grinding your hips against his in a slow pattern that has his breath hitching in his throat, his fingers digging tighter into your skin.

“You’re driving me insane,” his voice is husky as he speaks, smooth as it filters through your ears.

You can’t help but smirk against his mouth. “Likewise.”

“How about we get out of here?” he asks. “The bed seems a hell of a lot more comfortable.”

You nod eagerly, mumbling a small, “Please,” against his luscious lips, too reluctant to pull away. He seems to have trouble, too, as he remains in his spot, even long after he reaches down to turn the water off, his lips still locked with yours. Granted, it gives you time to dry off before he’s hoisting you up with ease, instinctively letting your legs wrap around him. A thought abruptly pops into your head and causes you to gasp, your lips parting from his with a significant pop.

“Jungkook!” You scold. “Be careful! Did you forget about the gaping wound in your side or?”

“I’m fine,” he assures, already swiftly carrying you out of the bathroom and into your room.

“I don’t care what your magical radioactive spider bite does for you,” You retort. “I don’t want to somehow hurt you.”

He laughs in response, a sound that reverberates against his chest and your own torso. He’s already standing by the bed when he carefully lowers you down onto it. He crawls over you, instantly towering over your body as he leans down to chase your lips. In one quick movement, you hook your leg around his waist and, using your hands, shift him over until he’s on his back and you’re cradling his hips. He seems surprised at first, his stare flickering from the navel of your stomach to the soft buds of your breasts. Past the valley of your chest, his eyes fall once more upon yours and he smiles breathlessly, his hair sticking up in tufts.

“Really?”

Your eyes fall to the stitched wound on his side covered in gauze and your fingers brush against it delicately, following the natural curve of his abs. “I’m serious, bugboy. You may be this notorious, unstoppable force out there, but to me you’ll always be Jungkook.”

He pouts. “That doesn’t sound as cool as being Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Man is cool.”

“See? Even you think so. This is why I never told you ━ everyone thinks Spider-Man is cooler than Jungkook.”

A roll of your eyes has him smirking, though the smile is quick to falter when you begin to grind your hips against his, feeling his firm member poke at your thigh. His jaw drops open slightly at the sudden contact, his brows knitting together in slick concentration as his eyes fall to your glistening soft core.

“You didn’t let me finish,” You breathe steadily. “Spider-Man is cool, but Jungkook is cooler. You’ve always been strong and dauntless to me. You’ve always been a hero to me.”

“God,” he moans, “you’re making it really hard to focus on how cute you’re being when I can already feel how wet you are.”

The giggle that slips past your lips only further proves his point. His head rolls back against the pillows beneath him as you continue to slowly grind against him.

“Do you want me to stop?” You taunt.

“No, no,” he gasps. “Holy shit, no. We can save the mushy talk for afterwards, right? Please?”

You nod briskly, gulping for air as you feel the burning sensation between your thighs. Your fingers dance down the front of your stomach to the bundle of nerves that you rub at carefully. Jungkook watches intensely as you pleasure yourself before him, feels his own cock hardening at the sight of your fingers gracefully rubbing patterns into your clit, coating your digits with your leaking cum. He writhes beneath you, desperately aware of his own need for you, but god help him if he doesn’t finish watching or helping you get off. He swallows thickly, loosening his dry throat.

“Well, if you’re gonna make me sit here then,” he says, “can you at least let me help?”

“I’m listening.”

“Good,” he grins. “Then come sit on my face.”

He says it so confidently that it has you stuttering in your pace. Your eyes flicker down to his mischievously twinkling eyes and the way he bites on his lower lip. You hardly hesitate at his command, pushing yourself off of his crotch and shuffling yourself forward, tossing one knee over his head so that he’s seated nicely between your thighs. His hands remain on your hips to keep you steady as you wiggle around until you’re comfortable. He plants a kiss on the inside of your thigh, murmuring, “I’ll take good care of you, baby. Sit back and relax.”

You do as you're told, letting him pull you carefully down to his face and feeling as he leaves a trail of kisses along the inside of your thigh. When his mouth is hovering just over your core, you can feel his warm breath fanning against you and hum in delight, waiting eagerly for his every move. He nudges you closer and closer until you feel that one fell sweep of his tongue against your core, warm and slick as it grazes your folds, immediately sending a shock of white hot pleasure surging through your body. A shocked moan emits from your parted lips in a sound similar to, “Ooh,” that has Jungkook smirking against you.

Suddenly, all you can focus on is him and the way his tongue works so expertly against you, kitten licking at your core until you’re dripping wet in a lewd combination of saliva and your own succulence. You nearly lose your balance the moment he makes contact with you and, with each passing second of immense pleasure, it makes it more difficult to hold on. Your thighs shamelessly squeeze shut (though Jungkook grips lightly onto one of your thighs to shift you apart) and when you feel yourself wobble, breathless and dizzy from the feeling of hot fire burning at your core, your hands fly out to grasp at Jungkook’s carob locks, silky to the touch as they slide out from the seams of your fingers. Admittedly, having Jungkook’s face buried beneath your thighs is a ridiculously hot sight that only spurs your blatant spiral into a panting mess.

“Jungkook━ F━Fuck━ Oh my god━”

The moan that leaves you is throaty, guttural and Jungkook swears he’s never heard anything sexier. Watching you writhe helplessly above him is all that he needs. As his tongue licks firmly at your clit, he can’t help but reach down to his own hard dick. His fingers wrap delicately around his shaft and he pumps himself slowly, groaning into your womanhood at the thought of your delicious and hot walls wrapped around him. He shuts his eyes as he works in a smooth rhythm against both him and yourself, imagining what it would be like to just have you anyway he wants, imagining your own reactions similar to the ones you’re making now.

“Ah, shit━” You gasp suddenly. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good━”

God, there you go again. His palm squeezes harder against his member at your breathy moans and he swears you’re driving him absolutely mad. To him, this feels so surreal. He’s dreamed of this; he’s dreamed and wanted nothing more innocent than to just fucking hold your hand and yet here you are in such a compromising position with him and he feels like the luckiest guy in the world. The best part about it all is that you make him feel this much bliss, this dizzy, when he’s simply just around you. Fuck, he’s so in love with you.

Your fingers clutch a little tighter at his roots and his eyes snap open. He stares up at your frazzled mess and, with his free hand, presses his fingers against your core in areas that his tongue has yet not reached. He coats his digits in your glistening arousal and coaxed with such ease he’s able to push them past your folds, earning another beautiful moan from you. He curls his finger inside you, stretching your core, flicks his tongue a little harder at your clit, squeezes his own hand tighter around his cock as he desperately jacks himself off to this, to you. He pumps his finger in and out of you in tandem with his own hand around his length, hearing your sweet whimpers and choked moans.

He must curl his finger just right inside of you or maybe it’s the way your sensitive clit begins to throb with each lick he takes or maybe it’s when he joins his tongue with his finger in a dangerous duo but then you jut your hips forward ever so slightly and jerk them back. He’s eating you out with such vigour, such hard passion that you can feel his chin and his nose brush against your core and each contact has you gasping. He pulls apart just enough when he feels you jerk your hips backward again and you’re so caught up in the pure ecstasy that has overcome you that you hardly realize until you hear him speaking, muttering faintly against your folds, “C’mon, baby. Ride my face. Cum for me.”

His only response is a weak sputtering as you try to gasp for air. You don’t need to be told twice at this point as you feel as if you’re chasing after your high. You unabashedly begin rocking your hips against his mouth and fingers. He tilts his head just right so that his nose burrows into your clit, his tongue and digit slipping further within your walls that clench around the thought of having something of girth like Jungkook’s length inside you. Jungkook’s own hand slacks at his pace around his member, his fingers reaching up to dig into your waist and thighs to hold you in place as you continuously rock against him. You’re so close, you can feel the familiar tension start to form in the very pit of your stomach.

“F━Fuck!” You cry. “Jung━kook━ I’m━”

Your voice breaks off into frail croaks, your hands flying out to grab onto the sturdy frame of your bed in front of you as you feel your high approach. Jungkook pulls you harder against his face, letting you grind against him as he burrows into you, completely ravaging you with his mouth until you feel your release take hold of you. It shakes you to the bone, causes you to writhe in pleasure above him as you come to a halt, emitting a loud moan of his name as your hot release leaks onto his chin, coating his mouth in your shimmering cum.

“Fuck, fuck━ Jungkook!” Your nails dig into the bed frame, your teeth sinking into your lower lip and muffling your dulcet moans.

He laps at your core, licking away every last drop of your succulence until your hips twitch away from the sensitivity you feel. When he finally pulls apart from you, he stares up at you from between your thighs with an amused smirk, his hair messily mused from your doing. You muster a faint smile in return as you pant heavily, attempting to calm your shrill heart and he beckons you over. You blissfully clamber back down his torso, once more straddling his hips as you curl up into his chest, tilting your head to press a soft kiss to his lips. You feel him smile against your own mouth and it’s something so gentle, so ardent, that it warms your heart.

“That was so fucking hot,” he mumbles between kisses. “Round two?”

Giggling, you part from him momentarily only to reconnect your lips to his jawline, nibbling on the soft skin there. “How about I let you have a turn?”

He quirks a brow in curiosity though he already knows your intentions as your hand flutters down his stomach. He can’t help the moan that slips past his lips as he feels your soft hands grasp firmly at his hardened cock. He feels as if he could practically melt in your hands or explode at any moment and you hadn’t even done anything. His hips instinctively buck into your fist but he shakes his head. He sits up suddenly, startling you in your spot though his hands come out to grasp at your face and hold you in place as he kisses you feverishly.

“How about,” he breathes, nipping at your lower lip, “you let me make love to you right here, right now.”

For a moment, you become carried away with the taste of his lips mingled with your wet arousal that fades away fast. You return the kiss with such zeal, too reluctant to part from him just yet, that when you muster the nerve to lean away, you’re panting heavily.

“Not so fast, bugboy,” You taunt. “I still want you to rest.”

You give him a little nudge backward and he obediently follows your wordless command, plopping back against the pillows of your bed as he looks up at you, his hands resting on your upper thighs.

“I don’t know if you can consider sex as resting,” he points out playfully, a wry grin plastered on his face.

He watches as you smile, the rapid heave and fall of your chest, as you wiggle around until you’re comfortable again on his lap and have lifted your hips off of him. Your hand wraps around his shaft once more and you pump him once, twice, in slow motions as you spread the leaking cum from his throbbing head along his shaft. His jaw drops open at the feeling, eyebrows knitting together, and his fingers dig a little too harshly into your skin accidentally but you don’t at all mind ━ not when you’re able to see such a beautiful reaction from him as he comes undone before you.

Seconds pass of bated breath as you lower yourself slowly, carefully, to his cock. You run the tip of his length along your folds and up to your clit, rubbing small patterns against it that has both of you whimpering lowly. You coat him in your leaking arousal and then lower yourself onto him, finally connecting the two of your bodies as one.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunts.

Jungkook seriously feels as if he’s about to explode ━ literally. You’ve only just sat on him and he’s afraid he won’t be able to hold himself together long enough before he feels his sweet release. You’re just so warm and wet, so deliciously wet, that he slides easily into your walls that hug him just right. His mind is spinning, and even more so when he feels you stop halfway and lift your hips again. You drop them to the same level and then back again, repeating this process until you drop your hips fully, flush with his.

“Oooh, Jungkook, hmm,” Your fingers dig into his abdomen at the feeling of being so damn full. You can practically feel him throbbing and your own walls clench and release around him as you adjust to his size.

“Move━” he chokes out. “Move, please━ holy shit━”

And you do. You grind against him, rolling your hips around his firm cock as the fire continues to burn between your legs. You raise your hips languidly and drop them back down again and again until you’ve adopted some fluid rhythm, being so easily coaxed by your own cum.

“Like this?” You gasp.

He nods absentmindedly, swallowing thickly. “Fuck yes, just like that, baby.” His head rolls back against the pillows, the vein in his neck straining, “You feel so━ so fucking good.”

“Tell me,” You breathe.

Jungkook finds it hard to concentrate when his eyes fall on you. He watches as your breasts move in tandem as you ride him, the glistening arousal on your folds that coat his length that he watches disappear into you each time. He greedily reaches out as he’s lost in his own thoughts, his hand cupping your plush breast in a firm hold, his thumb brushing against your perked nipple. Your back arches in response, leaning closer to his warm hand, as he focuses on the tightness that is your core.

“Warm,” he moans. “So, so fucking wet ━ oh my god, you’re dripping, baby. Shit, you feel so perfect around my cock.”

You cry out his name, quickening your pace as you chase your high. Your strides are relentless, desperately searching for a sweet release and Jungkook feels the same. He’s held it in this long ━ he isn’t so sure he can hold himself together for much longer. He can’t take it anymore. Just as he feels you slowing down from exhaustion, he sits up once more, his strong arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you tight against his chest. Your own arms slide around his neck and you lean forward to crash your lips against his as you roll your hips steadily against his now. The new angle has him hitting a spot in you that shakes you to the core, has stars forming in your eyes.

You bite down hard on his lower lip accidentally as you try to conceal the loud moan that bubbles at your lips. Jungkook only smirks in response, especially when you shamelessly let those strangled moans out. As you sink lower onto him, Jungkook thrusts his hips upward to meet yours halfway, earning a sharp gasp from you. He tightens his hold on you and continues to thrust up into you again and again, so hard and so fast that it makes you writhe with pleasure above him. You can feel him stretching you wide each time, can feel your sticky arousal begin to trickle down his cock and your thighs.

So much for making sure he doesn’t hurt himself again ━ his thrusts are pure animalistic, hasty and needy, though all either of you care about in that moment is feeling that sweet release. You collapse entirely against Jungkook’s arms, letting him take hold of you as his hips smack against your ass. When you finally feel your second high of the night approach, your reaction feels near explosive. He thrusts again and again and you choke out somewhere between the sound of skin against skin and heavy breathing, “J━Jungkook━ Fuck! I’m close━”

He growls in response, eager to push you to yours as he chases for his. Another thrust and, holy shit, there. He hits a spot in you once, twice, and over and over again that just feels so incredibly good that you can’t help but unravel in his arms. It takes you by surprise, washing over you an immense cloud of bliss as white-hot pleasure blinds you, starting from your core and spiralling out to every edge of your body until your toes are curling. You cry out his name in a beautiful harmonious sound as your cum leaks profusely from you and coats him just right.

Fuck this ━ he doesn’t care anymore that you want him to rest. He needs to feel his own release now. So he grabs you securely and then he’s twisting you around, shoving you onto your back as he pushes his hips into you. You’re writhing beneath him, your back arching until your warm and sweaty chest is pressed against his. Your fucked out expression that stares back up at him but with such tired and loving eyes only spurs him on further (that, and the way you’re clenching so nicely around him). It’s completely messy but he’s so close. Another hard slap of his hips and then he’s finally coming undone. He pulls out of you fast, his hand coming down to grab at his cock as he pumps himself, thickly coated with your juices.

He cums moments later with a deep, rough moan, releasing onto your stomach in ivory beads that paint you his. His hand slacks around his softening length and then he, so spent and slightly sore from his wound (only slightly, he swears), collapses against you. The room suddenly falls silent, safe for the heavy panting and the shrill beating of your hearts that you both try to tame. His face is buried in the crook of your neck and your arms wrap around him to lazily twine his hair with your fingers. It’s nice to just lay there like that, enveloped in each other's arms, basking in the heavenly glow of euphoria. He kisses your neck then, soft and simple, and litters kisses down your throat to your collarbones and then back up again to your lips.

When he parts from you, his eyes remain locked on your mouth until he forces himself to look away and up at you. You’re smiling at him and it’s the type of genuine, albeit exhausted, smile that always warms his insides and makes him feel at ease. Tracing the curve of your lips with his index finger, he hums thoughtfully to himself.

“I lied about before,” he says sheepishly. When you quirk a brow at him, he continues. “I lied about before when you asked me if I’m ever afraid when I go out at night. I’m always afraid. Part of why I wear that mask is so the people I’m up against don’t see me wimping out. But, god, when I’m with you, I feel invincible.”

He watches as a light blush pinches at your cheeks, your fingers reaching up to softly graze his cheek.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispers. “I love you. I always have and I swear you make me stronger. I don’t know what it is. I think I just want to fight harder for you. I know I was a dick for leaving that night but I know we can make this work. I just need you to believe in me, too.”

Your eyes, littered with stardust, stare into his as if he is the entire world. “I’m strong, too, Jungkook. I don’t always need protection.”

“I know that,” he chuckles.

“Good. Then get back down here and kiss me again, bugboy.”

Jungkook laughs. He doesn’t hesitate to lean down to press his lips lovingly to yours. He melts against your chest and he is content if every night is like this, in each other’s arms. As he deepens the kiss, he hears you whisper against his lips, “I love you, too, bugboy,” and it is all he needs to feel as if he has the world in his very palm.

Jungkook has always been afraid. He is afraid of not living to see the next day, afraid of losing you or his family or friends but every shred of fear fades away when he’s with you. As the city continues to breathe from beyond the brick walls of your apartment and as the sun begins to rise from the very heart of the metropolis along the horizon, Jungkook is certain that he and you together are invincible.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

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[yesimwriting]

The Needs of Pain

A/n as promised,,, here is my gift to you bc I finished ap gov today :))

The darkling x heartrender!reader story based on the whole ‘no one but me can hurt you’ thing :))

Warnings: sexual innuendos,, attempts to sexualize pain if you squint, kinda lemon-y

I kinda want to write a smutty part 2 let’s see lol 

Summary: after a training injury, Kirigan reveals how he views the dynamic of your relationship and figures out how to best help you work through the pian 

--

In an odd way, the most painful part of my injury had been the wound on my pride, not my shoulder. Though the pain that begins beneath my collarbone and continues down my left shoulder is not exactly pleasant. I can’t bring myself to pity myself too much as I stare at the extent of my burns. There’s a war going on. People die, people lose loved ones, I have to tolerate pain for an hour or two before a healer can be sent to be. 

I told Genya I’d be fine in the medical wing, but she insisted that I wait for a healer to be sent to me. The people here look up to me, if news of my injury got out, especially considering it’s a training wound, morale would take a blow we can’t currently afford. Genya had looked relatively sympathetic when she told me that many healers were occupied considering how difficult training had been and I had told her I could bear the weight. 

Now, in my room, staring at the basin full of water, I’m starting to regret my desire to be self sacrificing. I dip the towel in the water, squeezing out the excess before daring to dab the fabric on the outer edge of the wound. The feeling is fire against my skin all over again. An instinctual curse leaves me as I drop the towel on the counter that surrounds the basin. 

Arthur hadn’t meant it. I can still hear the frantic apologies tumbling from his full lips. He should have been more focused on the task at hand, he should have never stopped to look at me, at the way I could control so many living things at once. In some odd sense, his distraction had been a compliment. Many of the girls here would sell anything to have Arthur’s attention, even if it resulted in such a careless mistake. 

I grimace, picking up the towel and preparing to start again. I should at least clean it before the healers have to deal with both a physical injury and an infection. The sound of my door flying open and then shutting angrily is enough of a distraction for me to accidentally dab the towel against my skin too harshly. I curse again, turning my head towards the bathroom door. Did Genya exaggerate the severity of my wound? Are the healers that desperate to get to me? 

I turn on my toes, towel forgotten by the basen full of water as I approach the door that connects my room with the bathroom. “I’m--” Words meant to calm a frantic healer stick to the back of my throat as soon as I register all the black in the room. General Kirigan. Great. He no doubt heard about my injury after prying it from Genya and now he’s here to scold me for the childishness of it all. To be injured because a boy and I just couldn’t help ‘make eyes at each other’. All he does is insult my refusal to become bitter just because I was born possessing power. 

“You’re what?” His words are a different level of callous, darker than the shadows he creates with the will of his mind alone. “An idiot that let herself be sent back to her room instead of demanding to see a healer?” 

That’s an odd thing for him to focus his anger on. At least it’s not fully directed at me. On instinct, I half turn, attempting to hide my injury from his piercing eyes. My instinct tells me he should never see me so mortal. “Genya recommended it,” my words are determined yet calm, “It’s such a small injury it isn’t worth risking everyone’s morale. A healer will come here when one is available.” 

His face tightens in what must be some kind of disgusted disbelief. “Foolish girl--have you no instinct for preservation?” 

Every decision I’ve made since being injured made sense before he spoke to me. The fierceness of his voice leaves my face warmer than it was a moment ago and reminds me of the stem of my dislike for him. General Kirigan speaks and I am left a clumsy child. “Some things are more important than one’s self.” I expect he’ll turn that into something else to mock or belittle about me. “And it’s not a grave injury it’s barely--” 

The distance between us seemed so great less than a second ago, but he’s closed it so quickly, grabbing my left wrist and extending my arm forward so that I can’t hide anything from him. “You’re burned.” There’s the slightest bit of surprise coloring his words along with something else I can’t interpret. “How did you get burned?” 

Kirigan doesn’t know. My stomach knots, anticipating embarrassment. “Training incident--I was standing too close to an Inferni.” 

His grip on my arm tightens. I grimace as he pulls me forward with no regard for my injury. “Who?” The voracious way he says the word leaves my thoughts trembling. He is a void of darkness, starving for a victim to snuff the light out of.  

When my thoughts settle, I cannot bring myself to tell him the truth. “I didn’t see, I was distracted by the burning.” I exhale slowly, desperate to escape the flames behind his eyes the way I could not escape the fire of earlier. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve been injured worse in training.” His hold on my arm doesn’t loosen, I glance down at his hand, his firm grip on me somehow worse than the burn. “You’ve injured me worse in training.” 

“I may push you, exhaust you, and leave you mad--but I have never done anything that comes close to--that!” The last of his words carry themselves louder than the rest. 

If the skin of my shoulder wasn’t so sensitive I’d try fighting his tightening grasp. The accusation on my part had been a little much, but it was meant to serve as a reminder that he’s not one to care about my comfort or well being. “Why does it matter?” I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze. “You’ve never cared about any of my injuries before.” 

Kirigan releases my arm in a stiff trance, raising his hand to brush his thumb down my cheek. The contact is reminiscent of an extremely different moment. “The first night here you only let a few tears escape you when you were convinced that no one could see them. Do you remember how I turned and wordlessly wiped them away?” His gesture had not been comforting then and it isn’t comforting now. He never wanted to comfort me, he wanted to assert some strange power over me. “I let those tears fall because they were because of me and I knew it was for the best.” I say nothing, letting his thumb ghost tears that will not come. “The moment I discovered you, what you could be, you became mine.” 

“I am no one’s.” The reaction is instinctual, a pride my mother instilled in me. My voice is too loud, too brash. “I am my own.” 

I brace myself for his anger, but all I receive is the slight relaxation of his lips. “It’s things like that give you so much potential in other ways.” His voice is a jagged rock caressing my skin, not minding the scrapes it leaves behind. “You’re a fair plaything, as well as useful.”  

He’s speaking so gently his voice borders on vulnerable. Something in me warms, but I can’t tell why. I know that Kirigan finds joy in my discomfort--why else would he belittle me so often? “The healer will be here soon.” 

“Yes,” he makes no move to leave, instead Kirigan grabs my wrist again, forcing me to turn so that he can analyze the extent of my burn, “Which is why I will ask you again…” I try to catch his gaze, but his stone stare is focused on my burned shoulder entirely. “Who did this?” 

“I told you.” He can never know. “It was a training accident.” 

“And someone is responsible.” 

I let out a breath, tired of feeling so incomplete. I just want to be healed and go to sleep. “Why does it matter?” His fingers trail up my arm patiently, my body betrays me by shivering. “Accidents happen, you’ve put me in more risk than--” 

“I’ve always intended to break you one way or another,” his voice is more supple than it’s ever been before, “Your goodness is too tempting to not tarnish.” He turns my wrist over easily, ignoring my slight wince. “But if someone else were to do it…” Kirigan trails off, expression tightening in a way I can’t read, “I don’t let others break my play things.” 

Some strange resolve in my chest cracks at that. “Kirigan--” 

“Who are you protecting?” He moves his free hand, placing it without reservation on my shoulder. “Not telling me will only make it worse.” 

Thoughts of Arthur paying for such a small mistake leaves my stomach rolling in guilt. “Make what worse?” 

His expression tightens again. I wait for some kind of rebuke. Kirigan’s lips part as if he expects to criticize my naivety, but instead of speaking he turns sharply. He doesn't release his grip on my wrist as he leads me into my bathroom. 

“What are you doing?” 

Kirigan ignores my surprise, releasing me to pick up the towel I was so quick to abandon. “If you’re too good to take a healer from someone, you should at least avoid infection.” 

“I’m not an idiot, I was cleaning it.” The sharpness of my tone is ignored, Kirigan simply places one hand on my forearm to keep me in place. “Wha--”

 He brushes his thumb over my pulse gently in an effective attempt to silence me. I part my lips in hopes of protesting, but something odd reflects across his eyes. It must be some trick of the light because his expression seems...hesitant. Maybe even concerned. And then cool fabric is pressed into my burn. I bite my tongue so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t bleed. 

“Saints.” 

His expression shifts to that of almost amusement. “I think I’d like to hear you curse in a,” he exhales softly, fingertips trailing up my forearm, “Slightly different scenario.” 

The shock of such a bold innuendo clears my mind from thoughts of pain. But the most startling thing is that the innuendo isn’t entirely unwanted. In the wake of my surprise, he presses the wet towel into my wound again. I fight against a grimace, but that doesn’t go unnoticed by Kirigan. Instead of mentioning it, his free arm touches my uninjured shoulder. For the first time since he’s come here I’m aware of how improper my attire is. I changed out of my starched kefta and into a silk nightgown in order to leave my shoulder unbothered. Genya had helped me change, bearing all of my grimacing and pained curses. 

I should push him off of me. Kirigan can get away with a lot because of his status, but I by no means have to allow something like this. I should not feel shy, I should not be embarrassed. He’s the one that’s out of line. I look up into his eyes, prepared to yell at him for being so out of line. But when I meet his eyes, I see something so un-monstrous I am left breathless. There’s a gentleness to the way he tilts his head downwards, eyes never leaving mine. Is he asking for permission? Permission to--to what? I stay frozen as his lips brush against the unmarred side of my collarbone. His touch is almost enough to make me forget pain ever existed. He pulls away enough that I can feel his breath against the base of my neck. Thoughts I’d never dare speak are banished as the towel presses against my skin again. My face cringes immediately, but he’s quick to press his lips to the base of my neck, lingering kisses melting into my skin. 

“I thought you said you were fine.” His chiding is half-hearted, whispered between two brief kisses against my bare ski. 

He dabs the towel on the burn again, but before I can think to complain, his lips are against my skin again. This time, his lips part slightly allowing his teeth to graze over my pulse. Kirigan pulls away slightly, expression hardening, “I’m almost sorry about this part.” His words leave him in a whisper as influential as sin. 

“What part?” My voice feels foreign in my throat. 

Kirigan doesn’t reply, but then I feel the sharpest pain yet. The towel is cleaning the worst of the burn, the ruined patch of skin that will never recover without supernatural intervention. The gasp I let out is that of a bird with shattered wings. A cry forms in the base of my throat, but before it can leave me, Kirigan’s teeth bite into the skin above my pulse. The pained sound is reduced by my shock, twisting in an odd combination of some kind of pained sound and something dangerously close to a moan. 

He releases me with one last soft brush of his lips, straightening his back and retracting the towel. “There.” Kirigan drops the towel onto the bathroom counter. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

I can still feel the ghost of his lips, tongue, and teeth against my skin. I understand now. Each kiss had been a way to distract me, to lessen the pain. Something odd swells in my chest as I try to will my eyes to stop watering in pain. 

Kirigan presses his lips together, pressing his hand against my cheek again. His thumb brushes the few stray tears that escape me. “Don’t cry,” his tone is pure velvet, “I won’t tolerate tears in your eyes caused by anyone else.” He tilts his head oddly, hand sliding down my cheek before gripping my jaw, “I can provide reason for your tears if you’d like.” 

Inhaling deeply, I continue to stare at him. Today has been so sudden. He’s flirted with me through strangely sexual insults and threats before, but never has he been so forward about it. 

“I’m fine,” I force my voice to remain clear. He nods once. A soft rap at my door has me turning away from him. “The healer--I shoul--” 

“Come in,” he calls, voice clear and leaving no room for argument. 

My eyes widen. To be caught with him here could be detrimental for my reputation. Kirigan pulls away, something sharp playing at his features, something almost humorous. 

He leaves the bathroom like this is his own room. “Her wound is clean, work quickly.” I walk out of the bathroom in a strange trance. Kirigan’s gaze lands on me as I enter the main part of my room, “I need her at her full strength for what I have planned.” 

There’s a heaviness to his words, a weight that tells me he means more than what his words imply. Goosebumps erupt across my skin as I try to banish the thoughts of his mouth against my skin between inflictions of pain, blending together to create the most intense sense of fight or flight I’ve ever experienced. 

Kirigan begins to approach the door to my room. “I’ll be checking on her later.”

--

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@luminous-99 @voyevoda-thejoy @voidmalfoy @i-padfootblack-things @all-art-is-quite-useless @buckverse @mandowh0re @uhanddreag  

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[heartbrkr]

i leave tonight

SUMMARY It’s just you and your soju under the night sky. Oh, and your ex that you haven’t moved on from.

PAIRING lee haechan x gender neutral!reader

GENRE exes!au, angst

WORD COUNT 1.9k

WARNINGS mentions of drinking, not proofread, my rusty writing

AUTHOR’S NOTE a little something i wrote to get rid of my creative block, some of it’s inspired by frank ocean’s self control. hope you all enjoy! <3

MASTERLIST | REQUESTS: OPEN!

“Oh sorry, I didn’t think anyo— you cut your hair,” your words come out suddenly as you open the glass door that leads to the balcony. You weren’t expecting to see the person who still had your heart after all these years, tonight of all nights. He clearly matured throughout the time you were separated. He looks exhausted but content. His new hairstyle is neater; it's a look you’ve seen before but weren’t used to. He had finally let his natural brown hair color breathe, it’s healthier than ever. Suddenly, in the back of your mind, you’re reminded of all the times you tucked his stray hairs behind his ears and the sweet kisses he’d given you after.  

You suddenly remember what you said in a state of shock. “Hi, Haechan. How rude of me.”

He laughs at your loss of composure, something he isn’t used to. “Not at all,” surprising you once more, he points to the unoccupied spot beside him with the spout of his soju bottle. It’s fresh flavored, you noted, wanting to look at anything else except him. You accept the invitation.

“It’s been a while. How’ve you been?” It’s expected that he’s the one to start the small talk, but it definitely isn’t something you’re opposed to.

“Yeah, it has. I’ve started traveling again whenever I can. I love it, I missed it a lot,” but not as much as I’ve missed you. You inwardly cringe as soon as the cheesy line crosses your mind, diverting your eyes to the street lights. You take a sip of your drink to hide your inner embarrassment.

Haechan’s shoulders bounce up and his eyes widen a little, remembering something, “oh, right! Did you change your number? I tried greeting you on your birthday, though I don’t think it sent.” 

“Wait, for real? Sorry, I don’t think I was able to receive it either,” that’s a blatant lie; you had checked your phone every minute that day until Haechan greeted you. He did eventually; you just never responded. Your pride always prevails, but today was an exception.

“Dude, you know, you’re like an enigma, right? Like, no social media presence at all and you’re always so busy! I’m glad I didn’t have to book an appointment to talk to you tonight,” he rambled as he messily put back his phone in his pocket, all his attention focused on you.

It was all on purpose. You missed his calls for both of your well-being; you know it’d kill you if you heard a tiny bit of his voice. You deactivated your social media accounts to avoid seeing his face or how he was doing. You did everything in your power to make yourself heal, but everything still managed to fail.

“If you miss him so much, why don’t you just answer him?” Your friend, quite frankly and understandably, is frustrated with the simple dilemma you’re going through: you miss Haechan, but you don’t want to pick up his calls. 

It’s been a whole year since your breakup, and it’s embarrassing that you’re still thinking about him. There’s so much you want to do to rebuild whatever you had, yet you don’t take action to do anything. “I want to, but I can’t. It’s better for both of us,” you mumble to her, fiddling with the hem of Haechan’s brown sweater you always wore. He had told you it suited you better after pretending that he begrudgingly gave it to you. It stopped smelling like him after a couple… hundred wears, much to your dismay.

Nagyung tries her best to suppress her groan, but she can’t help her irritation slip. “The hell are you on about? He’s literally reaching out to you. Isn’t that enough of a sign that he wants to reconnect?”

Your hands fly to cover your face, you sigh. You manage to mumble through your fingers, “yeah, but he’s taken, if you haven’t heard. The best I’ll get is back to being just friends.” Despite your best efforts to erase him out of your life, your friend had slipped out that he had gotten together with someone new. You pretended to be unbothered, of course, but you wanted to lock yourself in the comfort of your stuffy room until the end of time.

“Don’t you want that? He’d still be in your life, then,” your friend suggests, and you appreciate her for trying, for being beside you even if your decisions aren’t making sense.

Your silence is enough to answer her.

Haechan had moved on about ten months after your breakup—you had practically forced him to with the lack of your presence and responses—yet here you are, wishing that the time was right. You yearn that in another life, he's still holding you in his arms until they grow heavy, you’re the one he comes home to after a long day, you’re still cradling his face in your palms as if you're holding the world in your hands, you’re still showing him how much he means to you without saying a word.

The relationship didn’t end on a bitter or sour note; schedules simply just stopped aligning and great opportunities unveiled themselves. That soon meant letting one another grow, even if it meant with or without the other’s presence.

Nevertheless, you were friends before you were lovers. You’re appreciative of the natural flow of the current conversation.

You laugh, “what can I say? I like to give the people a bit of mystery.”

“Anyway, how about you? How’s your girlfriend?” You ask, pretending you’re interested, for his sake and maybe for yours. You thought you needed to hear Haechan talk about her to move on, but it only made you want him back more than ever.

“Yeah, she’s amazing. We’re taking it slow for now, but we’re really happy. Same old shit with work and all, though, but I’m great.”

"I’m glad you are. You guys better have me as your bartender for the after-party," your lighthearted tone and words contrast with the heaviness in your chest. A part of you guiltily wishes their relationship would crumble, and he comes running back, realizing he wants to make your relationship bloom once more. But unfortunately, you know that's not how it works. You’d rather die than vocalize that you truly wish the best for both of them.

He heartily laughs while shaking his head, eyes still focused on the buildings beyond him. “You think too far ahead.”

You know he’s thinking about her because that’s how he used to look when he was with you: dazed in love. You know he’s starting to fall in love with her and you can’t do anything to stop him. You couldn’t blame him even if you wanted to.

Every ounce of your body is telling you to flee, to tell him it was good to see him again. But he breaks the stillness you had made peace with and again, you’re thankful for it. When it comes to him, you’ve always seen the positive side of things.

“Man… how long has it been?”

You pause, but it isn’t because you’ve forgotten how long, it’s because you know you’re going to hurt more as the conversation progresses. You truly never thought you'd ever see yourself in this position: sitting beside your ex-lover, who you stubbornly can never seem to forget.

“Two years,” you bittersweetly smile as the memories continue to run like a faucet in full force in your head, “it’s been two years since our breakup and since we’ve seen each other.”

“I know.” His tone is nonchalant. He’s implying something and you catch on, giving him a look. It's too good to be true. You don’t give him any other reaction and let him continue.

“Weirdly enough, I just wanted to hear you say it,” I’ve been keeping count too. Little did you know, Haechan regretted saying it as soon as it left his mouth. He was content with the pace he had with his current girlfriend, content with how his life was going. Yet here he is, accidentally leading you on the splitting rope that he didn’t know you were still holding onto for dear life. He was just better at hiding his shame a little bit more than you.

Maybe he wasn’t content with content, either. 

As you playfully bump his shoulder with yours, ignoring the pounding in your chest and the increasing moisture on your palms—you don’t know if it’s sweat or condensation from the bottle you’re holding—you comment, “as sly as always, I see.”

The gap of silence is filled with cars passing, the faint thumping of the bass from the party below, the trees brushing against one another, and the wind occasionally whistling. You’re hoping he can’t hear how your heart is imitating a drum (he doesn’t because he’s too busy listening to his own).

“Do you think we could go back to the way we were? Just tonight.” 

He doesn’t seem to hesitate as he nods, riding on the same wavelength as you, “just tonight.”

With that, you’re sitting together under the stars and moon that shine particularly brighter tonight, yet all you feel is solitude. You look over to him and ask him if you can lean on his shoulder; you want to see if you can cut the distance you’re feeling short. He gives you an audible ‘yes’. You tilt your head and immediately, your senses are overwhelmed with his familiar scent, one that reminds you of puppy love, commitment, and heartache. But it still feels like you’re oceans apart. At this point, you’re living in different worlds, different dimensions. 

You soon realize it’s because nothing can really be the same, even if you give up for a night. 

It’s unspoken but you hope he knows it, especially after making him use his self-control for so long.

It’s still you. It’ll always be you.

You owe your whole being to the stars above your head that they allowed your lives to intersect once more as if it could be the last. So does he.

It’s taking everything in your being to resist intertwining your hand with his. 

You know you’re never going to experience the love Haechan gave you ever again. It’s unfair how there’s only one of him in this universe while making perfect sense; he glows wherever he goes, he’s someone who effortlessly steals the show. No one could ever be like him. Your past self must’ve salvaged the world because you were blessed with Haechan, even if it was deemed short-lived.

The serenity you share gets disrupted by his ringtone. Your head shoots up from his shoulder while he pulls out his phone from his back pocket. You gather yourself and try not to snoop into his business, but that goes down the drain when you see his screen. It displays a candid photo of him and his girlfriend, the latter looking quite off guard. You wish you didn’t catch his mouth curling into a smile.

But again, out of respect, you zone out the quick conversation he has with his lover. You instead direct your attention to the howling wind, taking a long and generous swig of your drink. You definitely needed that.

Eventually and inevitably, he stands up, brushes off dust specks to the best of his abilities with one free hand, and faces you. You finally look him properly in his eyes and give him a bittersweet smile that he returns. He bids you farewell and tells you one last thing,

“Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, you too.” And with that, he leaves you once more. But this time, you’re ready to let go.

#nct x reader #nct imagines #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #hyuck x reader #lee haechan x reader #lee donghyuck x reader #haechan x gn reader #haechan x gender neutral!reader #haechan angst #haechan imagines #donghyuck imagines #hyuck imagines #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #nct #nct 127 #nct dream

[starshipsofstarlord]

Could I request a Bucky Barnes x reader smut? Basically she and Bucky have been together for some time and maybe it’d be a little angst where the two are talking about the future and Bucky not thinking he can ever have a normal future? Which would result in soft smut and later reader being revealed as pregnant so Bucky finally gets his family

I’m Home

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | based on the request ^^

Warnings | angst, smut, oral sex (m receiving), fluff, pregnancy, mentions of death

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

The Wilson’s boat rocked sturdily upon the water, swaying as the boats worked aboard. Your hand held the weight of a silver spanner, twirling it in your fist as though it were a knife, thinking of the long road ahead of you. Sam had the shield now, that was a good start, but still, there was a ways to go until the world recognised him as the captain that he was meant to be.

There was so much destruction ongoing in the world, what with the flag smashers, and whomever the power broker was, and surely, you knew on the shallow surface, that there would be masses more problems to arise. It was exhausting, to know that there was no end to the war on earth, and that you were surely going to be fighting the threats until you could no more.

Bucky felt the same; he had just gone from one war to another, losing everyone that he cared about along the way. Steve had given everything up to finally find peace, and yet, the two did not share the same opportunity. An escape was never laid at your feet, instead, the pair of you were trapped in the cycle of cruelty, being blended around in a shredder by reality.

“Hey.” A voice confiscated you from the lonesome containment of your thoughts; it was Sam’s hosting sister, Sarah. I’m her own way, though you doubted that she would never admit such a thing, she was a hero. She had become a widow, and not to mention she remained a stable mother to keep her boys afloat, as well as nurturing half the kids that lived within close proximity.

“Hi Sarah.” You put the tool down, giving her your ample attention as you stood, tugging your fingers into the loops of your jeans as you stepped out of the boat, and onto the dock. “Anything I can help with?” It hadn’t passed your attention that Sam and Bucky had disappeared, but not into ash like last time. Instead, they had walked off in the direction of the house, most likely meddling about with a ball, in the back yard with Jim and Jody.

“I just came to let you know I’ve made the sofa up for you and Bucky. Are you sure you’ll be all good, I could always kick Sam outta his bed and make him sleep on the living room floor?” The two of you had nightmares, if you were to be separated from him for even a night, it was certain that the pair of you would greatly suffer. That was something you didn’t want to burden any of the Wilson’s with, screaming in the middle of the night because flashes from your past struck an unconscious nerve.

“All good, and thank you Sarah. You didn’t have to let us stay here, we both appreciate it, a hell of a lot.” One thing that you had learnt throughout your years was to show gratitude. The smallest amount shared had the ability to spring up moods, and had even set you on a much more heroic path than the one that you had been originally been placed upon.

“You’ve earned your stay.” Sam’s sister shrugged with modesty, acknowledging the help that you and Bucky had not only given to Sam, but to her family’s legacy. The two of you had aided with fixing the old wreckage that had now returned to the form of a boat, keeping it afloat rather than permitting it to sink from the quarrels that Sam had with himself regarding fixing the damned yet meaningful port of transport.

“This life you have, it’s great. I get it’s not easy, but it’s beautiful. You have two wonderful kids, that you’ve done such a great job raising, and not to mention, these community that you have is so loving and kind, even to us outsiders.” The pair of you had paused outside of her front door, speaking. “Sam is lucky to have you, he truly is.”

“Well, maybe one day this life could be something similar to what you’ll have.” The sister of your friend smiled, though your mirroring expression retracted. In a stumble of thought, you shook your head, not believing that possibility. This all was... perfect. That was something that you had never had, nor would you think that you’d ever be permitted such a peaceful lifestyle.

“I don’t think that would work out.” You sincerely mumbled, feeling the sad swelling in your chest at the prospect of all the luxuries that life had denied both you and Bucky of. It wasn’t fair all the same, but the two of you were used to being denied human rights, let alone the simplicity of nothing more than a life together. “As nice as it sounds, me and Buck aren’t really cut out for all this I suppose.”

“The world does not choose who can and cannot have a family, there’s always a way. Just because you haven’t had the most ideal line of story does not at all mean that you can’t make it work, from as much as i know, you two deserve a life together, that doesn’t include being shot at, or shooting at other people. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go for it, and hope for the best.” She gave you a final nod, before heading inside, and you trailed after her into her her residency.

The two of you went your separate ways, and there, you saw Bucky, sat up on the sofa, his hands clasped together as his eyes stared towards the tan bag, that concealed not the shape, but the Stars and Stripes of the infamous shield. It was much a relief that it was no longer in Walker’s toxic clutch, however its presence, among other things, were taking a clear toll on your boyfriend.

“You ever feel like we’re stuck?” The air was tense around you both as he spoke solemnly, it diverting to match the mood of his question. “Like we’re us, and I love us, but it makes me think that it’s it. Just me and you, on this path for the rest of our lives, never getting a compensated break, nor an average person’s future. I want this, what these people here have, not the combat that is aided by this metal arm, or the associations that stick to us like life lines.”

“All the time, it’s on my mind James.” With a sigh, you came to sit beside him on the couch, resting your head against his bionic shoulder. “I ever wonder if there’s a timeline of you and me where there’s none of this ruckus, we just have a nice little house in a quiet and accepting place, and maybe a kid or two in the future.”

“I’d give anything up for that.” He looked at you, almost wide eyed, as his hand slithered down onto your knee cap, rubbing small circles as he wore a blunt and endearing smile upon his infatuating lips. “I mean that Buck, that sounds...”

“Perfect?” He asked, leaning closer as he grabs your chin with his wondrous fingers, his nose brushing alongside your own as his puckered lips fell upon yours, earning a small hun of content from within you. “Because you’re perfect to me, and no matter what life we are encased in, I want to share it with you. I want stare at the night sky and watch the moonlight illuminate the side of your face, and the stars reflect in your entrapping eyes, that I want to look into like a medium’s orbs forever, because that is how I will see the future that I ever so hope for.”

“How long have you been working on that one Barnes, because you are usually not that smooth?” A small laugh erupted from your mouth, but you were quickly silenced as you felt a cold metal hand slither up and beneath the back of your tank top, rubbing along the seam of your spine, as his lips ran down the column of your throat, evoking small and delicate whimpers out of you.

“Shut up doll, because I really want to fuck you now, and those words leaving your mouth are making it kinda hard to concentrate.” A furrow imbedded between his brows, as you tilted your head at him, a smirk proclaiming your expression as you pulled the material over your head, and reached behind yourself to unclip the back of your bra.

“Kinda hard to concentrate, hun?” You asked nonchalantly as his gaze zeroed in on your bare breasts, his hands smoothing along your ribcage as he adjusted his grip of you so that he was palming at your breasts, and squeezing the nipples. “I want you in me baby, I’ve practically gone days without you inside of me.” Licking your lips, you reached down to palm your beloved through his layers, earning a positive groan from the former assassin.

“Hours, you mean. I fingered you on the road trip here.” Yes, that was true, however, it was only his fingers, not even the metal ones, and whilst you loved what they alone could do, he had to be discreet as you were sat on the back of the truck, which had carried the primary parts for the Wilson’s family boat. If you were to scream out, they’d have surely thought that you’d fallen off the back of the truck and pull over, or if they had much sense, they’d have noticed that there was more going on than two passengers sat side by side on the journey to their small neighbourhood by the docks,

“You heard me Barnes, otherwise I’m sure Sam wouldn’t have any problem if I came to his room in this state of undress that I am currently portraying.” Growling was never Bucky’s fortes, however the sound aggressively ripped through the tunnel of his throat, as he threw off his grey top, quickly unfastening his belt, as he awaited for you to strip the rest of your clothing before him.

But rather than doing so, as he stood before you, your hand had trouble resisting the sight of his cock that had bobbed to attention, and thus, you wrapped it around his toned flesh, giving it a couple jerks that had his head reeling back, before you tongued his tip, moaning to yourself at the taste of him invading your sensitive taste buds. “Love your cock.”

As soon as you said that, Bucky gently gathered your head in a ponytail so that it was free from bombarding your face, and groaned as quiet as he could as you sucked him in your mouth, running your tongue up the side of his shaft. “Is that a part of your dream world baby doll, the sight of my cock throbbing to be inching down that perfect little throat of yours?”

To answer him, you pressed your head down deeper, humming around him as your eyes ogled up at the sight of your super soldier, who was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, and attuned to the sight of you. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, as you lightly gagged around him, pulling off him, and squeezing his balls, before running your hungry tongue along the middle of his sack.

“Always. It would be a dream if you made love to me right here and now though, I’m not sure I can wait any longer James.” Bucky took a long inhale, before ravishingly pulling down your jeans and panties in one go, and tossing you so that he was below your form, and you hovered over him, toying with his erect cock. “I love you so much Bucky, and I’m scared of what’s to come. I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a fight.”

“There’s always a fight doll face.” He rubbed his thumb soothingly across your jaw, pulling your hips down closer so that you were rubbing your slick folds against his standing cock. “But this is what we’re fighting for, the rest of our lives together. I’d be damned, one day after this, and if I were to die, I’d be a happy man. There’d be the memory of you to keep me forever happy in the afterlife, and not to mention, there’d be no more wars for me to participate in.”

“I’m not going to let you die Buck, even hypothetically. We saw how your little hypothetical synopsis went last time.” Tapping his cock against your clit, a breathy sound evicted from your lips, as you stared down at the two of you intimately touching, the sight alone making you more turned on and impatient. “No one is allowed to kill you, otherwise I’ll unleash hell on all their flag smashing asses.”

Giving him one last stroke, you guided his tip towards your entrance, removing your hand once you had him situated, so that you could rest it upon his sturdy shoulder, and sink down on him, the feeling of him stretching you being the most euphoric sensation that you had ever endured. Hushed moans ceased from the both of you, as Bucky’s hands gripped your ass cheeks, only adding to all of the pleasure that was erupting within you.

“Think your pussy is gonna kill me before anyone else does; your so tight.” His pitch had rose, as your fingertips danced along the left side of his handsome face, invisibly connecting the dots of his beauty marks. You allowed the pair of you to adjust for a simple moment, before you began to raise your hips, sliding up his super soldier rod, only to slide down it again.

The actions were repeated, as your own hands trailed down his warm skin, to drag down the golden lines of his vibranium arm, only to bring the weapon to your mouth, and kiss every black finger up, as you tried your best to muffle the moans that were hoping to reap free. “So fucking big, I love you and your cock.” You muttered, your sight turning blurry as Bucky realised that it was his turn to do the work, and thus, he thrusted up into you, making echoing sounds of your skin slapping together reverberate around the room.

“Love you more.” He gritted his teeth, pulling his metallic hand away from your numb lips, so that he could swirl the elegant digits around your clit, the action provoking whimpers to rapidly surpass your exterior, as you bit harshly onto your own lip, and screwed your eyes shut. “Cum for me doll, want you to cover my hard cock in everything you have. Come on baby, you can do it.”

Without much thought, as your mind was too scrambled to do so, you reached for Bucky’s spare hand, pulling it to your mouth as you sucked on his fingers as though you were blowing him. A low moan that was dialled down from the presence of his flesh digits, ran from your mouth, as you began to bounce your hips, chasing and eventually reaching your high. You came around him, pushing him too over the edge, his seed filling your walls, as you collapsed atop of him, huffing from exhaustion as you removed his salivated hand from the realms of your mouth, resting your head against his panting chest.

Stringed sighs fell from Bucky’s breath as he tried to catch his own breath. His hands rubbed your back, not only to comfort you, but also to subconsciously pull you closer against him, and his softening cock that was still inside you, and was keeping his cum plugged within your tender and pulsating walls. If life was easier, there’d be more time for this, and that, but for now, it was just every now and then. Maybe you’d win this fight and survive until the next one, but maybe, you’d lose and never battle again.

Life was precious, that was something that you had not only learned as an avenger, but also something that had been told to you by Isiah. That man thought that you deserved a normal life, no fighting, no super soldiers. He himself was the biggest yet silent critic of those with additional strength, but his opinion was never going to sway you, not as you stared out into Sarah’s backyard, and watched the man that you loved play with the boys.

They had the shield, and were whisking it through the air like a frisbee; dangerous, yes, but again, life could only amount to so much without an ounce of pain. A content and satisfied smile absorbed any pain on your face, you were enraptured with the sight of Bucky like this, he was like an uncle to these two kids. He was no captain America, that was for sure, but you didn’t want a man in Stars and Stripes, all you wanted was him to be at peace, and it was a fact unbeknownst to him, that you had made such an alternative to that.

“Still want all this?” Sarah emerged, a cheap yet formidable bottle of wine pursed in her hand, as she held two clear and tall glasses in her hand. You hummed, watching as she poured the thin red consistency into one glass, but as she went to fill the other, you held out your hand, shaking your head. The woman was confused, last time you had visited, and were entangled on her sofa with the limbs of your boyfriend and a shaggy old blanket, you had kindly accepted her offer.

“Sure do.” You sighed, staring out into the green abyss where Jim was hanging from Bucky’s arm like it were a branch. “How do you do this, this whole mother thing? I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how you make it look so easy, it’s just, you do such a good job.” Your palms rested flat on your thighs as you laughed at Sam ordering Jody to jump on Bucky’s back, as he fell down in faux defeat.

“It never is easy y/n.” She placed the open bottle down, along with the mismatched glasses, that were asymmetrical considering one was half filled and the other wallowed in emptiness. “But every step of difficulty is worth it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss their father, but they’re my priority. For Jim and Jody, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, and you’d understand that if you ever opened yourself up to giving your life of heroism up to have all this.”

“I might have to.” Twiddling with your fingers, glancing up at your boyfriend, realising that he was in fact not looking over, you clasped your intwined hands over your stomach, smiling softly to yourself. “And maybe not having another option is the best option for me and Buck, because we don’t have to fight with ourselves over being included in our duties, we have new ones.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sarah asked, resting her nurturing hand upon the tile of your shoulder, prompting you to turn your face towards her. There was a conflict in your eyes, it was something that she recognised her younger self having once worn. It was the idea of putting everything aside, all for a child, everything that she had ever known, so that she could put her baby boy first. “Does Bucky know?”

“He will.” You shifted your head down, unsure of yourself. This had been what you had wanted, and whilst you still envied Sarah for the role she had, you were hurt. A part of you wanted to be an avenger until you were nothing but a soul drifting in the abyss of non existence, another didn’t want to let the knowledge of being a carrier for a new future crumble you. “I just need a moment to tell him.”

“I’ve got it.” She sent you a wink, picking up the items she had brought out, before she called on Sam and the kids to come inside. Sarah had gifted you the opportunity of revealing the truth to your partner with no one else around; you appreciated that. As he stalked closer, you met him halfway, sinking into his arms as he hugged you.

“Looked like you were having fun with the boys.” You verbally noted, loving the feeling of him running his fingers through your hair. “You’re amazing Bucky Barnes, to me and to everyone. I just, don’t want you to freak out on me, I have something big, really big, to tell you, and-“

“Baby, I know.” He smiled, pulling back so that he could look you in the face. “I have super human senses, I heard their little heart beat for the first time yesterday. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In fact, I want to ask you if you’ll accept my question of making Sam the godfather.” You nodded, tears standing in your eyes, as you brought the man down for a kiss.

“Yes. But I’m not sure that he’ll be praising us for making a baby when we technically created him or her on the couch inside.” Bucky shook his head at you, kissing your forehead before walking inside with you, preparing to tell the Wilson family, that had along the way became your own, the good news- well, not the sofa bit.

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