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kitsu-katsu · 3 years

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About revived (by Derivakat)

(Disclaimer: Nothing against Derivakat, I think her songs are amazing in general and she's very talented, I simply have a bone to pick with these lyrics and characterization)

So um, here's my counter to some of the lyrics because fuck it, I'm tired and fueled by spite, let's go:

Let's start with the chorus:

"White streak in my hair but no stress now" - Funnily incorrect, cc!Wilbur confirmed that the white hair is from stress itself, it's not about the revival process alone. Also just by reasoning, I cannot imagine what might have been stressful about spiralling and believing that the world is out to crush you, believing that you're the scum of the Earth as well, only to die, spend 13 and half years in dark isolation and then being jolted back up to life missing huge chunks of information, really cannot fathom how that might be stressful /s

"I've seen hell, but this is a bit more my style" - True you know? It's awesome that he's said that he's over the moon about being alive again after spending 13 and a half years of pure isolation in the dark, screming until his throat was hoarse. But coming from the tone of it, I'd like to point out that Wilbur's also still passively suicidal and self harms (check out the part under "He doesn't love TNT, he self-harms with it" in this post)

"A decade of time to make everything mine" (also counts for "This is my sunrise, this is my dawn, this is what I've waited for all along. All of this time, all this is mine. MINE. MINE. MINE!")- Honestly, based on what he's been doing, no prejudices, forget everything fandom's said: he doesn't really seem to want to "make everything his", does he? This perception mostly comes from him saying "This is my sunrise, this is mine!" in the original revival stream, however, if you forget about common fandom perception, what's so evilly framed about a guy who spent 13 and a half years of isolation in the dark saying "this is my sunrise!" after watching the sun coming up again for the first time since his death, in which he was extremely emotionally unstable? Like for real?

Now onto the verses:

"Am I the bad guy? I'll be the bad guy again" and "I've come back hell-bent" - Now, he has said that: “Here’s the thing, Tommy. I, I, I, I know I was bad, and I know I can redeem myself, but like, you know, there’s a little bit of fun in being bad, you know, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 11:31, 5th May), BUT, since then he's also expressed genuine remorse for his worse actions during Pogtopia (check out the parts under "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" and "Wilbur cares. A LOT" in this post), a wanting to redeem himself and truly become better and... uh... OH! He's also admitted that he's afraid he scares people and cried when Ranboo said that he was "an alright person". For real, just watch the Healthy Competition stream and read this reddit post by cc!Wilbur

The reddit post in question, just in case:

"You think I cared? It was always a means to an end" - So false. Just... so false. Ok, so quick one, let's review the actual lines said originally about him "not caring for L'manburg" in full:

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

So as you may see, he retracts himself immediately and explains his feelings with more nuance

Then, let's look at the more recent confession to Ranboo:

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

If this got more explicit I'd be literally hitting you over the head with it. Anyway, check out the parts under "Wilbur cared. A LOT" and "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with" in this post

"So who cares? So what? I'm not calming down" and "Shut up! And listen" - “Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

That line's totality gets often cut down, erasing the immediate apology after the loss of cool. Furthermore, I'd argue that him "not calming down" in general is mainly due to his euphoria and overexcitement during certain scenes where it makes complete sense for him to be feeling like that, and in a broader sense, he has a tendency to say things in the heat of the moment and out of impulsivity that he turns to later regret from all the way back at Pogtopia. Him not calming down now is either out of impulsivity or outright euphoria to be out of limbo, not necessarily an evil thing. And when he percieves he should calm down, he tries his best to do it, or apologizes for snapping

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times" and "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized" in this post)

"There's nothing wrong with me" - BUDDY. Wilbur drowns in self-hatred, what are you talking about? The man got caught off guard and cried when someone said "you're an alright person"... He's worried that he scares people, he knows how others see him on top of his own self-hatred

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

(Check out the parts under "He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character" and "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character" in this post)

"Oh yes, I blew up the nation!" (said with glee) - I make a point of the tone in this specific line, because I could make a point of the tone in the whole song, but this line is a good example. He didn't blow up L'manburg just with glee like "hell yeah! I did it!". Of course he talks about it with pride sometimes, but it's usually either said in the middle of the same impulsive moments in which he'd claim he doesn't care, said with relief of him having control over at least that situation (like him sighing right after doing it just to ask Phil to finish it off by killing him), or said with the same deflection with which he'd claim that not having a grave didn't affect him and was badass actually since he only wanted it for the hateful obituaries anyway (which was a lie, and he admitted it on the third of august stream when saying "I was so pressed about not having a grave" in case you had doubts)

Finally, I want to make emphasis on the fact that: The explosion on the 16th had two main drives behind it and they often get glossed over. The first objectivee was blowing it up and causing just enough destruction to get L'manburg back (You know, when Wilbur still had some kind of hope). After his spiral went further and his paranoia and self-loathing worsened, his two drives become apparent: First was blowing it up to rid the world of the twisted thing L'manburg became, ridding the world of what the twisted version of his ideals became with Schlatt in control of them. Secondly, he wanted to end L'manburg as a part of himself and rid the world of himself completely (by this I'm referencing his suicide), he decided he wanted to die and expected that as a result since a lot of time before the 16th. The explosion was effectively a bigger projection of his suicide, rid the world of both himself and his creation, mixed with his constant desire to protect, it also becomes "rid the world of the corrupted version of L'manburg that became Manburg", because for all intents and purposes, since the important thing about L'manburg was its founding ideals, L'manburg had been dead for a long time at that point.

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

(Check out the parts under "Wilbur cares. A LOT", "Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral parts of his character", "Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also integral parts of his character", "He hesitated regarding the button tons of times", "He really cared and cares about L'Manburg, and didn't want its ideals twisted to hur others with", and "He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia" in this post)

#tw self harm mention #tw suicide mention #wilbur #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #wilbur dsmp #revived #revivedbur #alivebur #revived wilbur #derivakat revived #fandom critical #dsmp #dream smp #analysis #c!wilbur analysis

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padsnprongs · 3 years

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an unspoken tradition

The first time Sirius did it, Remus had no idea what to do. He sat there, eyes widening, his book forgotten in his hands, as Sirius settled his head on Remus’ lap. He seemed perfectly content to close his eyes and give a soft smile, whilst Remus’ insides were screaming, and he could feel his face burning. Slowly, and after much deliberation over what the fuck to do, Remus brought a shaky hand carefully through Sirius’ soft ebony hair. Sirius’ smile widened as he felt this, and a content sigh escaped his lips as he shuffled into a more comfortable position.

Remus knew that Sirius had never been entirely comfortable with physical contact, even after six months of dating, and he respected that. However, when Sirius seemed to feel completely safe in Remus’ arms, he could hardly deny him that. Remus continued to comb his hand through his boyfriend’s curls, and Sirius seemed to be relaxing more by the second. Summoning up some courage, Remus leaned down and gently kissed the tip of Sirius’ nose. Sirius’ eyes fluttered open, and he stared up at Remus, his gaze full of love and warmth. Remus felt himself flushing a deeper red as Sirius tilted his head up and puckered his lips, silently requesting another kiss; this time on the lips.

Remus, of course, obliged.

This soon became a regular occurrence. Whenever Sirius was feeling down, or just missing Remus, even if they were literally in the same room, he would head over and flop down on the sofa, his head coming to rest on Remus’ lap. Remus’ hand would immediately start carding through Sirius’ hair, as he murmured, ‘everything okay, pads?’ Sirius would often just nod, even if it wasn’t entirely true; just being close to Remus like this was bound to make everything better.

Burrowing his face into Remus’ legs, Sirius would often find himself drifting off, from a combination of the soothing motion of Remus’ hand through his hair, and his reassuring heartbeat, grounding him. Remus was now completely used to this, and just continued to read his book over Sirius’ shoulder, giving Sirius an occasional peck on the cheek, or the lips, or the nose, or literally anywhere he could reach.

Once Sirius had fallen asleep, Remus had no choice but to remain there with him (I can’t move him, Pete, look at him!) but he wasn’t really complaining.

As he would attempt to shift into a more comfortable position, he ended up just lying on the sofa, Sirius sprawled on top of him, every single time. And that was how they would be found in the morning; limbs entangled, Sirius’ head resting on Remus’ chest, warm and content smiles spread across their faces as they appeared in each other’s dreams.

(AN: I was gonna leave this here but im in an angsty mood so)

Eventually, this little tradition of theirs grew past just resting heads on laps. It developed into an unspoken message that, hey, im not feeling too good right now, so I’m just gonna come over and lay my head on your lap, because I need something to ground me, and you’re the only person who can calm me right now. All of this was contained within a simple gesture, because their relationship had never really needed words. They had always just understood what the other was thinking, without having to talk about it at all.

Although this was equally important to both of them, it had always been Sirius who initiated it, Sirius who laid his head in Remus’ lap. Which is why he was very surprised when, one sunny afternoon in seventh year, a mere two days before the full moon, Remus shuffled over to him, a haggard expression on his face, and heavy bags under his eyes. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, barely having time to ask if he was okay, before Remus was climbing onto the sofa and slowly resting his head on Sirius’ lap, his joints repeatedly cracking in the process.

Oh.

Sirius understood immediately. Not quite knowing what to say, he settled on comforting Remus the same way he had been comforted by Remus so many times before. Bringing his hand gently though the tawny curls spread out before him, Sirius watched as Remus’ eyes finally fluttered shut, the frown on his face relaxing slightly. And there they stayed for the rest of the night, Sirius perfectly content to just run his fingers through Remus’ locks, watching the worry lines etched on his face disappear as he drifted off to sleep, soothed by the repetitive motion of his boyfriend’s hand in his hair.

Even after Hogwarts, this routine, that otherwise went unmentioned, didn’t end, and neither wanted it to. Every single time Remus was sat on their sofa, no matter what he was doing, Sirius would be there, without fail, and vice versa. They would always be there for each other.

Until 31st October 1981, that is, when Remus found the sofa empty. When he found himself empty.

As Sirius sat alone in his cell, his mind full of anguish and terror, he couldn’t help but think of what had happened seemingly years ago by now, but in reality, was just last night. He had fallen asleep curled up on the sofa with Remus, and rather than waking him up, Remus had carried him bridal style to their bed, Sirius’ arms wrapped around his neck and his head nestling in his shoulder, despite them both being fully-grown adults by now. When they had reached the comfort of their bed, they had promptly fallen straight back asleep; Sirius clinging to Remus like a koala, and Remus burying his face in Sirius’ soft curls.

Sirius would have given anything to be lying in that bed again, rather than on the cracked stone floor of a prison cell, surrounded by the gut-wrenching screams of people having their happiness literally sucked out of them. And he knew, soon enough, that would be him, having his most joyous memories ripped away. But he refused to let them take Remus. He gripped onto the memories of him and Remus, curled up together on the Gryffindor common room sofa in the early hours of the morning, like a lifeline. And throughout his years in Azkaban, those memories were the only thing that kept him going. When it seemed as though all had been lost, he still held out hope for that glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel; Remus, waiting for him on their sofa, embracing him with a grin full of relief and euphoria. There, ready, waiting for him to rest his head on his lap once again, waiting to be able to comfort him once more.

What he wasn’t aware of was that Remus was waiting for him, holding out for even the slimmest chance that he could be reunited with Sirius, that they would be able to continue their tradition that had grown to mean so much more.

All either of them had ever wanted was to be together, because that was where they could truly feel at ease. They were each other’s safe places. They were each other’s homes.

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jjmaybanksbaby · 4 years

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she used to love rafe | rafe x reader

it’s always paradise until it isn’t anymore

a/n: apparently im in the mood to write some rafe angst so put on your best sad music playlist and watch our pretty boy get his heart broken it’s therapeutic i promise

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Rafe Cameron and [y/n] had been subtly fighting about midsummers for the past week. Rafe had skipped the last one of their weekly thursday night dinners because of a suit fitting. Sure, it was just one night but [y/n] couldn’t get past the fact that he could have literally scheduled it for any other time on any other day of the week.

With Rafe Cameron, she was either ready to have fifty of his babies or be the reason he was six feet under. There really was no in between - at all.

The night they had gotten together for the first time had been nothing shy of passionate. It was Halloween and the tension between them had been building since [y/n] called Rafe out for being an ass in front of their entire ap chemistry class.

One of the dudes from Rafe’s lacrosse team was throwing his annual Halloween party. Pretty much everyone from the Kook Academy spent their 31st there.

[Y/n] had somehow let her best friends talk her into going as the sluttiest version of the Disney princess. And since it was senior year, they were going all out. [Y/n]’s costume considered only of a light blue bra and a tiny light blue tutu to go with it. And of course, a crown perched on top of her gorgeous blonde hair.

She looked kickass and turned plenty of heads at the party. When Rafe laid eyes on her, he couldn’t keep the look at amusement off his face. When their eyes locked, both of them refused to look away. That was the moment they both realized that the playful flirting was gonna turn into something more.

Presently, it was Saturday, one week before Midsummers. [y/n] had been reading through the Georgetown University orientation packet, where she was headed that fall, when Rafe walked into her room. She glanced up at him and then back down without a word. A mild dose of the silent treatment was what she did when she was pissed off but not going to say it; Rafe was quite familiar with it.

Rafe flopped onto [y/n]’s bed right on top of the things she had been reading.

“So you aren’t gonna fucking talk to me?” He asked, already knowing the answer to his own question. Rafe hated when she did this to him. It wasn’t the lack of attention that bothered him. No, he really couldn’t pinpoint why he couldn’t stand it, he just couldn’t.

“I’m not not talking to you Rafe.” [y/n] replied, trying to wedge the packet out from under him.

“Pick another day to throw a tantrum cause we need to talk about Midsummers.” Rafe said, not caring to keep the anger out of his tone.

[Y/n] look down at him, eyebrows raised to her forehead. “Do you wanna try that again?”

Rafe said up, “I said ‘We have to talk about Midsummer.’ What is your problem with that?”

“If you came over here to fight with me, go home Rafe. I have things to do. I don’t need your shit today.”

“Fuck, are you like on your period today baby? Rose just wanted me to tell you that the girls are wearing pastels this year and since you’re walking in with my family-”

“No,” [y/n] said, cutting Rafe off.

“What?”

“I’m not walking in with your family Rafe.”

“Yes, you are. What are you talking about? Of course you. You’re my girlfriend.”

“And you’re my boyfriend. Why don’t you walk in with my family?”

“Cause that’s not how it work, you know that.”

“That’s sexist as fuck. I’m not doing it.”

“You know Rose is going to be pissed at me now.”

“Okay and that’s not my problem Rafe.”

“What is going on with you today [y/n]? If this about missing Thursday, I already told you Ward made the appointment. I couldn’t change it. What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. Oh my god. And no, its not. Fuck Cameron.”

“So why are you being pissing?” Rafe asked, his voice getting louder with annoyance.

“Literally nothing. I’m good.” [y/n] wasn’t sure she could even put into words what was making her upset at that point. Deep down, she knew she needed to dump Rafe. This back and forth and slight toxicity had started to lose it’s appeal.

Mostly he’s been good to her. [Y/n] really didn’t want thing with him to be over but they were outgrowing each other. Plus they were headed to two different sides of the country in August; doing long-distance for an already doomed relationship would be silly.

[Y/n] pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Rafe was still talking but she’s tuned him out to be alone with her thoughts. She knew she couldn’t go to Midsummers with him. Things ended here, tonight.

“Right baby?” Rafe asked, breaking her trance.

“I can’t do this anymore,” [y/n] said, the words she’d been terrified to say finally tumbling out of her mouth. Rafe’s whole face sank; that was her answer. He’d been feeling the exact same way.

Rafe reached out and placed his hand on [y/n] arm. He ran his thumb over her skin, sending shivers up her spine.

“I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” She admitted outloud for the first time. “I’m sorry Rafe.”

Rafe looked up at her. “Yeah, me too [y/n].”

She felt the prick of tears behind her eyes but she really didn’t want to cry in front of him. Neither of them could seem to find the right words so silence hung between them. It was heavy in a way that it had never been before. Neither of them dared to move or spread first because when they did it made the moment real. It meant it was really over.

[Y/n] lifted her eyes and they instantly locked with Rafe’s. She didn’t even think about it as she climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her closer into her chest and gently rested his chin on the top of her head. [Y/n] let the tears start to stream down her face.

The same boy that was breaking her heart was the only person she wanted to be comforted by.

“I’m gonna go,” Rafe said and [y/n] knew that was the end. She slide away from Rafe and studied his face one more time. He looked down into her eyes and closed the distance between their lips. [Y/n] closed her eyes tight as he kissed her goodbye but his lips were gone from her’s too soon.

Rafe left the room without another word and [y/n] felt a knot form deep in her stomach as he walked away from her. It hurt so badly, worse than she had expected. Rafe Cameron was the first boy she had loved. And now he was her first heartbreak too.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rafe #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #outer banks rafe #outer banks fanfiction #obx rafe #outer banks rafe cameron #obx fanfic #outer banks imagine #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x reader

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firebunnylover · 3 years

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LoSH S2 discussion

I love Legion of Superheroes. And i love season 2, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about how it could have been improved. In terms of quality, it varies more than season 1. Some parts are top tier while others… eh.

Season 2 is darker than season 1. And there’s the inherent stigmatism that darker means better. But it’s not true.

A horror schlock film is not inherently better than an animated film.

I don’t blame the staff on all its shortcomings. Kids WB was on its deathbed, so they probably had less time to work and iron out ideas. And executive meddling.

The second season had a lot of good elements, but there are things that weighed it down. I am here to discuss how to improve said things.

Heads up: ended up editing part of this post after rewatching the episodes.

This first bit is more of a personal preference, but instead of the 41st century, maybe move the original source of conflict to a farther region of space, one that the UP doesn’t interact with, and has been growing in terms of turmoil until they finally resort to bringing the Legion over. In other words, it has just been put aside by everyone else to the last minute.

Parallel to Brainy’s relationship to Brainiac. He doesn’t want to deal with it. He never brings it up. But maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have gotten corrupted.

This place still has plenty of old documentation of the original age of superman, so Kell is disillusioned with the ideal glory days. Keep Kell Edgy.

Kell’s home and K3NT still gets destroyed - reflects Krypton’s own destruction.

SPEAKING OF KELL:

Make his story more apparent that it’s one realizing that kindness is not an inherent weakness. And neither is being soft. He was raised for fighting and killing Imperiex, and was taught to think that they were weaknesses. Have him realize his identity can be beyond the Clone of Superman made to kill Imperiex. Or rather, have him react more to realizing that he’s moving beyond his given identity.

To clarify; they do address his development in the show a few times, but I want more continuous development instead of the rapid nods we get. Have him try to interact in a more humane way with others. Especially with other members of the Legion. Where they have to take a double take in seeing him acting not that edgy. Maybe offer more flashback of him fighting Imperiex in comparison, and how he treated allies then.

Also put K3NT’s story under the microscope. I doubt Imperiex just came out of nowhere with his attacks. Plus the fact they went far enough to send a hitman after a fucking child? That screams yikes and maybe we need to double check the story.

And an overall issue to be addressed is what rights do robots have and what conditions need to be met? Because let’s face it, we make robots to do complex work for us. But Colu is a culture where the main people ARE robots. Like in Transformers. What line do we draw between non-sentient robots vs the sentient ones in the 31st century? And what about cyborgs/people who give up their original bodies for robotic ones?

Plus Imperiex himself came to be because of the perfected combination of organic tissue and robotics. This topic of robots and individuality/personhood could have been a fun topic to explore.

Don’t sideline the girls. Leave TG alone.

Don’t put SG in a coma for nearly the whole season - seriously it’s the reason why the guys make one bad decision after the other. Although with that said, it’s because she’s not around we got the majority of s2 plots. She’s the goddamn mom of the squad. Just make her busier and unable to keep an eye on her idiot boys for the plots based on bad decisions to happen.

Or have her deal with after-effects of what Esper did to her. Maybe after a whole season of being the emotional support character, have her be the one in need of emotional support or not being able to help directly, especially when the group needs emotional support. Emotional support paradox.

Maybe don’t make Cosmic Boy appear as much as a dick in the episodes where he does show up. He’s trying to hold this goddamn team together, and there’s a goddamn tyrant trying to conquer the galaxy. HE’S FUCKING TIRED AND STRESSED. AND IM SURE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF JERKS WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT TO DISSOLVE THE LEGION. Better yet, throw in some more backstory with him and his little brother Pol!

And in regards to Imperiex… The dude has a lot of potential. I like his voice actor, Phil Morris. The guy voiced Dr. Sweets from Atlantis.

But his writing needs help.

In the original DC comics, he’s the embodiment of Entropy. Anyone who’s seen Madoka is probably familiar with what that is. But if you're not, here’s a definition: “ the measure of a system’s thermal energy per unit temperature that is unavailable for doing useful work...” He’s the embodiment of that energy that cannot be used for anything. And Entropy grows over time.

Another definition of what Entropy is “lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.”

In the comics, he’s more of a cosmic being as a result of him being an embodiment of unusable energy. He’s been in existence since, well, the beginning. He had destroyed the universe and recreated it multiple times. Okay, so that lines up with how the show portrays him. And technically, he does get the universe to reset itself in the 41st century when he alters the 31st century enough.

But I personally feel that making him a cosmic being is kinda… meh?

I personally prefer more personal villains most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, an Eldritch being done right makes a great character, but I can’t see Imperiex as one. At least not LoSH’s version.

Plus I like it when the protagonist sees the villain has a point and has changed as a result for the better.

You know, over a year ago, I used to think that it was impossible to make a tyrannical villain who’s presented as real evil seem complex.

And then… I was introduced to TFP Megatron.

Now for you LoSH fans who haven’t watched Transformers Prime, Megatron was once Megatronus. A low caste member who worked in the mines and Gladiator games. He wanted to fix the growing corruption of Cybertron. To make things better.

But his worse personality traits took over, and he lost that good motivation. Now he’s just fighting to win and defeat Optimus Prime.

But despite the change of goals and ideals, he doesn’t want to simply abandon his relationship with Optimus. He and Optimus, or as he used to be called, Orion, were fighting for the betterment of society. And they meant something to each other. Megatron doesn’t want to just get it over with. He wants fanfare for his victory over Optimus. And he doesn’t want anyone else to rob him off that. But he isn’t opposed to getting Optimus/Orion back on his side. It’s because of this you can still argue that there is a remaining shred of good in him.

They were the best young lovers anD NO I AM NOT CRYING OVER THEM!

Also, the fact we know he was part of a minority group in the form of the lower cast that was enslaved can make us sympathize with Megatronus of the past, as well as understand how he came to be.

It doesn’t mean we forgive him for his actions - and he has done a lot of shitty things. And I mean a lot.

But his history is more understandable. TFP Megatron’s a fall from grace.

OK I’m done dissecting TFP Meg’s writing.

We know Imperiex was a slave, and was originally organic, who’s from a society where his purpose is literally just to fight, and was gradually stripped of his original body. He was originally stripped of any agency before then though.

But he says this was a good thing. Calling his original body a weakness. And refers to his old self as a pathetic slave.

He gave up whatever softness he had.

Also, this is where K3NT’s story needs to be reexamined. Imperiex was made during what K3NT described as “A Time of Extended Prosperity”. That time had freaking slaves. And K3NT says that when Imperiex did rise up, they were unprepared. So… they were prosperous, but lacked defense to prevent anything like that happening? Or perhaps those who were in charge were that unpopular that it was easy for Imperiex to start the war.

What made him decide conquering the galaxy was the next thing to do after he had every bit of his original self stripped away? Why go as far as destroy it?

What I’m trying to say is that they could borrow a few pages from the Megatron book. Maybe he was once trying to better the society he was part of, but he decides to play the violent card at some point. And somewhere along that strategy, he starts to lose sight of the initial goal. With that, being the victor and in control becomes the main one.

Or perhaps he has grown cynical of the galaxy as it is and decides it just needs to go all together, and then start from scratch.

Like the second definition of Entropy, he gradually declines in predictability and descends into disorder.

Maybe to juxtaposition the fact that Brainiac became the main threat at the end, make him the opposite or foil to him. Rationality or logic do not serve as first-or-second influences to decisions under pressure. Emotions and his own perceived ideas do.

Speaking of Brainiac, maybe offer more of the OG Brainiac. Give us more of that smooth-voiced Corey Burton.

Or TFA Megatron.

Seductive Bastard.

I’m sorry I have fallen for the shady-business-mafia-boss-but-morally-grey robot.

Also, the members of the legion that only get one episode focus? Give them more screen time. You can’t just introduce superman’s new adopted son Karate Kid and just not bring him for another speaking role again!

Actually, that brings me to another point.

As @spandexinspace pointed out, his episode is not the best, and is arguably the worst written of the whole series. Things that are issues do get brushed off to the side.

So a proposal on potential rewrite:

First, have the legion look over its current rules and what exceptions/changes they need to make.

Explore the subject of kids having to participate in these fights.

To clarify, kid shows are meant to be escapism for kids.

Shocking, I know.

So it makes sense that some characters would be the same age as the viewers.

But while this is good representation, as you get older, you find yourself going “WHY WOULD THE ADULTS LET THEM ENDANGER THEMSELVES?!”

Kids having to fight at that age does have consequences. Batman Beyond certainly addressed it. So did Steven Universe Future.

Steven ended up being responsible for so much, that when he no longer needed to take care of things, he was unsure of who he was. And then there’s the fact he ended up with PTSD because of him having to fight so much. Then you have the fact that Greg and Rose never intended to raise him like their caretakers did... but as good as their intentions were, they still caused damage. Rose for… all the gem stuff. And look, Greg is a great dad, but not enforcing anything for Steven when he’s growing up still has it’s cost.

With Batman, he’s obviously going to do his damn best to keep kids safe, including the Robins. But sometimes, it’s not enough. He wasn’t able to keep Tim safe in the event with the Joker in Batman Beyond. Where he was held captive and tortured.

But the Batkids are never expected to resolve this stuff by themselves. Because Batman knows how much you can get screwed up as a kid. He fucking cares.

And to be fair, in most continuities I’m aware of, the other sidekicks came out pretty okay overall.

Except Jason Todd.

So my proposal?

Have Val originally with Grimbor, as a sort of Protege. But have the legion capture him, only to go “uhhh this is a child with no powers”. And Superman, being the good, wholesome paragon we all love, takes him under his wing.

In all honesty, I want Superman pulling a batdad for Karate Kid in his intro episode the whole time. That was the best part of the episode for me.

Plus after the events of “Cry Wolf”, the Legion should examine the no-killing rule. Because they do need to kill Imperiex to save the universe. But that goes against the code. But they can argue it’s a necessity. But Mar Londo is also a monster. He’s the everyday monster some of us have grown up with.

When do you need to make exceptions to kill someone?

And my final main suggestion:

Add more Mekt.

What the heck were you guys expecting? You all KNOW me by now. I LOVE MY GARBAGE BOY.

Joking aside, here’s what I would do.

Have the Chained Lightning episode pushed back, but have Mekt with Imperiex earlier. Most of us would yell “Why the heck would you join the guy whose main goal is to destroy the galaxy?!” But this is one of the easiest things to address.

Explore more of his past. Use the comic sources with him being outcast for being a solo on Winath. With that in mind, him deciding to side with Imperiex can make sense.

Why try protecting something that has done nothing but hurt you?

There’s actually a pretty good reason why he would side with Imperiex, as seen in Champions and Lightning Storm. Remember, Mekt was willing to cheat to get ahead of the sports competition he was introduced in. And also was thrilled when fighting Garth and was beating him on his own. He likes being in power.

Imperiex offers him that.

As for why Imperiex would bother with Mekt? That’s a little harder to answer. He knows that Mekt has a soft spot for his brother, and in turn sister, which proves to be the reason why the Tachyon Cannon fails. You’d think Imperiex would remove a huge fatality.

But he doesn’t.

Maybe he could hold another type of value for Mekt. Perhaps... nostalgia?

I’m still sold on the idea that they were sleeping together.

Also, give us a conclusive answer on where Mekt stands with the LSV. In the comics, he was the leader, but that role was given to Tyr in the cartoon more or less.

OK I think this has been polished enough for me to post now. What you guys think? Feel free to add on!

#legion of superheroes #legion of super heroes #losh #OH GOD I STARTED THIS IN SEPTEMBER #IT'S FINALLY DONE

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starchildwannabe · 4 years

Text

Landing in New York

Genre: fluff

Pairing: bang chan x reader; side minlix

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: this fic is mostly just fluff but they also drink

Author’s notes: I wrote this based on a prompt generator to try to finish a full story. It’s unedited but I hope it’s not too bad! Also it’s short but I hope you like it :)

Summary: you meet Chan in New York on New Year’s Eve

2:58pm. I rub my eyes as the fatigue of 3 o’clock starts to slip in. How ironic (or cruel really) that New Years Eve was on a Thursday this year and that the deadline for this month’s project was today instead of next week. I let a slightly exhausted sigh escape from my lips as I finally look up from the computer screen.

“3 o’clock already,” a familiar voice on my left says prompting me to swivel my chair in their direction. A smile slips onto my face.

“You know what that means,” I say, holding out my hand to my lovely desk mate and exceptional best friend, Felix, who takes it without even slight hesitation.

It’d been a while since the honeymoon phase of working in a new place passed and both Felix and I started crashing around 3pm on workdays. It hadn’t been long, though, since we decided that the 3 o’clock fatigue meant stretching our legs and walking across the street to our favorite (by default) coffee shop to get a little pick me up. Today, however, I was more looking forward to the after work festivities rather than the assured line out the door of the Tom N Toms just for 3pm coffee. On December 31st in New York, everywhere was crowded no matter what time of day, and especially in Times Square from about rush hour on. So today was not a day you wanted to be stuck in the office after 5, let alone at all, but sacrifices had to be made for the dream of working and living so close to where the ball would drop at midnight.

When I step outside, already pulling my scarf tighter around my neck to escape the brisk wind and soft snow flurries, I’m surprised to see that the line hasn’t made it out the door yet and take that as a queue to get across the street as fast as possible.

“I’ll race you,” I say, giving Felix a mischievous look and a wiggly eyebrow.

“What are we, five?” He says giggling.

“No, six.” I say and take off across the crosswalk before the blinking green man changes to red. I glance over my shoulder when I get to the door of the Tom N Toms to make sure Felix actually made it across the street, and when I see him behind me, open it to reveal the warm air trapped inside the shop.

After waiting in the incredibly slow line for 10 minutes, we make it to the counter and give our order.

“You think Mr. Kim will be mad if we take a little longer than the usual 15?” I ask Felix and check my watch again as we walk toward the pick up counter to wait. Names are being called in the background, surely for other customers to get their orders, but I don’t really pay close attention because it’s too soon to be ours. I look up when Felix starts to reply, but I miss what he says because my attention is fully on a guy less than a few inches away from me holding an iced coffee in the hand closest to me and brace for impact because it’s too late to sidestep him. In less than a second I can feel coffee running down my shirt and thank God that it’s just cold and not scalding my chest instead.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” a panicked voice is saying as I awkwardly hold my shirt away from my body, “I didn’t even see you I don’t even know how that happened I’m really really sorry,” he says in a somehow even more panicked tone. I give an extremely awkward smile to try to lighten the situation and that’s when I actually take a second to look at the person frantically apologizing and all I can think is holy shit, is he beautiful.

“Ah, um, it’s okay,” is all I can manage to say because he’s shoving napkins at me. Then one of the staff with a mop is at the area where the coffee spilled and Felix is pulling me towards him and the boy is being pushed by the crowd the other way and the conversation ends before I can even ask him his name.

“Are you okay?” I hear Felix ask behind me and then the boy is gone because I turn my head to look at Felix instead.

“Yeah, I’m just a little uncomfortable, and coffee stained is all,” I make a mental note that I would probably be more upset if the person behind why I was covered in coffee was less attractive and then mentally kick myself for being shallow. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom to try to get this off, can you handle getting the drinks?”

“Yeah, dude, of course,” Felix says, and gives me a little push towards the bathrooms.

Fortunately, the rest of the hour and a half in the office passes without much problem. Unfortunately, I have to spend the rest of the afternoon and commute home with a horribly stained white button down. Fortunately, I have a coat to cover it when I go outside. Unfortunately, Felix hasn’t stopped talking about the boy that caused said stain since we made it back to the office, and as we’re walking out again at 5.

“But do you think you’ll see him again?” He’s saying for the 2nd time since I made it back from the bathroom in the Tom N Toms, “I think he was interested in you, and he was hot,” he adds and I sigh.

“I know,” I say in a pouty voice, “but like I said last time, I probably won’t. I’ve never seen him before today anyway, he could be a tourist for all we know. I mean, he did have an accent that was clearly Australian.” I look at Felix when I say the last part.

“Well I’m Australian and I live here,” he says, and adds, “I’m just saying,” when I give him a side eye.

“Well all I’m saying, is that it’s not likely.”

The conversation dwindles and then moves onto plans for that night and after about 10 minutes of walking and brainstorming the best way to get even remotely in Times Square without having to stand outside for the rest of the night the conversation somehow goes back to the coffee shop boy.

“You know, if he’s a tourist, he’s probably here for the ball drop,” Felix states. “And if he’s here for the ball drop, that means he’ll be somewhere in Times Square at midnight.”

“Who?” I ask even though I already know who he’s talking about.

“The boy.” He glances over at me and slits his eyes. “From Tom N Toms.” He deadpans.

“Felix, there’s going to be literally a million people in Times Square, maybe even more than that, we’re never going to run into him.” I sigh at the realization that we’ve been talking about someone, that I’m probably never going to see again, for the better half of the afternoon. “If we see him again, I’ll be convinced that he’s my soulmate.”

***

“I think if we leave now we’ll be able to be in the very very back,” Felix says from behind me. “And I’m sure if we squint, we’ll actually be able to see the ball drop.” I stop searching through my closet for a second to glance at Felix who’s casually sitting on my bed.

“Look it’s not my fault someone spilled coffee on my shirt.” I say and turn back to my clothes. From the other side of the wall, I could hear a slight pulsing from music that’s turned up too loud. “You’d think the owner would tell them to be careful about getting noise complaints.”

“Well it’s not like it’s illegal to rent out your place as an Airbnb anymore.”

“I mean I guess,” I glance down at my watch, “why are they even here still? If they don’t leave soon, they won’t be able to get anywhere near Times Square.”

“You’re telling me.” Felix says. I quickly grab a shirt and pull my coffee stained one over my head. Once I have the fresh one on, Felix stands and walks to the door.

“Wait,” I say and he turns his head in my direction. “Does this look okay together?”

“Yes, but I don’t see why it matters so much, your coat’s gonna be over it the whole time.” I turn my head towards my closet one last time. “Let’s just go.” Felix adds with a slight urgency in his voice.

“Okay, you’re right it doesn’t really matter.”

As I’m turning my key into the handle, I have a sudden urge to knock on the door next to mine and tell them to turn the music down, but I let it go because we’re leaving anyway and it’s their fault if they have to watch the ball drop from the very back of Times Square. I turn away from the door and give my watch one more glance as I head toward the stairs. 5:24pm. When I get the the stairs, Felix is already at the bottom of the first flight.

“We should get to the entry on 6th in less than 5 minutes, we don’t have to rush that much.” I say to his clearly urgent body language. He pauses for a second before replying and I lift my eyebrow.

“I, uh,” Felix hesitates, “kind of told someone we’d meet them at 6th at 5:30, but I didn’t think I’d mention it until we got there because I didn’t think it’d take this long to leave.” He lets the end drift off.

“Oh.” I say, “that’s fine, but like I wish you would’ve told me before. I would’ve spent less time changing.” An awkward laugh escapes, but I feel a genuine smile on my lips.

“Sorry,” he says and his hand comes up to rub the back of his head.

“Do I know them?” I ask to try to ease the tension.

“Oh, uh, yeah actually I think you’ve met one time.” Felix says and then adds, “but I don’t think you know his name.”

“And his name is—“ I say drawing out the last word.

“Minho,” I nod confirmation as he says it. “You were there, when we met.” I look at him with a confused expression. “It was a couple weeks ago at the bar,” when my expression doesn’t change he adds, “come on, you know, kinda tall, brown hair, cute nose, great laugh. I gave him my number?”

“And I was there?”

“Yes, you were there! You were literally sitting right next to me when this happened.”

“Wow, how drunk was I, jeez.” I shake my head a little and then say, “Well as long as he’s nice and doesn’t make things awkward for me, I don’t really care if I know him or not.” I chuckle and then look at Felix with pouty eyes, “but who am I supposed to kiss at midnight now?”

“Well it wouldn’t’ve been me anyway, so I guess that’s a personal problem,” he says and then gives a nice genuine laugh.

“I guess I’ll just have to go another year without a New Years kiss.” I feign despair and over exaggerate my sigh.

At exactly 5:32pm we make it to the entrance at 6th. We look around for a bit and then Felix jogs off toward someone that he recognizes. I stand awkwardly by myself as I witness their encounter, and confirm that Felix was right, he does have a cute nose. After maybe a minute, Felix turns around and walks back to me with Minho close behind.

“So this is Minho,” he says to me and I give a smile and wave to the boy standing behind him, and then he turns to Minho and adds, “she couldn’t remember you from the bar, can you believe that?” His laugh is light and fluttery, and I make a mental note to ask him about this later.

“You stole my midnight kiss,” I comment and wink at Minho and both boys’ cheeks flush pink.

“I, uh,” Minho’s voice is frantic and his eyes search Felix’s face for help.

“I’m just kidding,” I say and then laugh and pat Minho on the shoulder. I check my watch again. “I’d say we have like 20 minutes before they stop letting people in, so let’s make a quick bathroom stop and meet back here.” I say and then point toward a nearby building that I’m sure will let us in.

***

By the time the last hour of the year comes and is almost gone, and the sun has been gone for over 6 hours, the only thing that’s keeping me alive and not freezing to death in the brisk wind, is the sheer amount of people that are in Times Square (and also the alcohol that’s in my system from the very kind and very sneaky people standing next to us). Of course, Felix and I had forgotten to hide any booze in our coats before we left since we were rushed and now that I’m a little bit more than slightly intoxicated, I’m glad that we didn’t. I’m overly grateful for the people next to us, because they made the time pass while Felix was busy flirting with Minho next to him. Around 10 minutes before midnight, I could hear some commotion going on somewhere in the crowd in front of me, and then saw a small group of people making their way to the back of the crowd. As they passed by us, the people next to me said something like, “you know you can’t get out now, when it’s so close to midnight.” But they didn’t stop walking, just pointed vaguely behind us which seemed to be good enough for everyone. After that, the crowd shifted enough that Felix, Minho, and I got pushed away from the people next to us and into a new area of the crowd. I frown at the thought of not being by people I know anymore and push my coat back so I can look at my watch. 3 minutes to go. I look up at the ball on top of One Times Square and excitement floods my body. It’s almost to the bottom already.

I lean closer to Felix and Minho and ask, “Any last words before our lives change forever?”

Felix slightly rolls his eyes and then leans into Minho’s ear.

“She does this every year,” and then looks back at me and smiles and adds, “All I’m going to say is that I hope there isn’t an alien spaceship waiting for the last 3 seconds before midnight to blast us all off the earth.” Minho scrunches his eyebrows.

“He says that every year,” I say leaning toward Minho. Felix shrugs.

“It’s true though.”

“Minho?” I ask.

“Um,” he glances at Felix, “I hope that next year is at least as good as this year was.”

“Aw, wait that’s really nice, and a million times better than Felix’s” I say and clasp my hands by my chest. “I think for me, I hope that in—“ I glance at my watch again, “45 seconds I can get a New Years kiss.”

“Those are you last words of the year? Really?” Felix deadpans next to me.

“I don’t see the problem,” Minho says and shrugs.

I can hear someone around me yell “30 seconds,” and then the noise level of the crowd goes up from excitement and everyone’s eyes are glued to the ball ahead.

20 seconds. 15 seconds. 12 seconds.

At 10 seconds everyone starts to count.

9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4... 3... 2... 1...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Everyone in the crowd is shouting happy new year to the people around them and before I can even blink I’m being pulled closer to someone in front of me and they’re whispering in my ear with an extremely familiar accent, “can I kiss you,” and I’m whispering back “yes” and before I can comprehend what I’m doing, a kiss is being pressed to my lips. All I can think in the moment is what chapstick do they use? because their lips are so pillowy and smooth. When I finally open my eyes and reorient myself with my surroundings I see none other than the boy from the coffee shop standing in front of me.

“It’s you!” I blurt out before I can catch myself.

He laughs a honey sweet laugh and then says, “Chan or Chris, either is okay.” And then he smiles so wide his eyes almost disappear entirely.

“Okay, Chan or Chris, why? How? What? I’m so confused.” I say.

“Clearly,” the honey sweet laugh comes again. “Just call me Chan,” he says and glances at Felix and Minho giving them a little nod. I look at Felix when he does this and notice that his mouth is hanging open and let out a chuckle at the sight.

He grabs my arm and pulls me towards him and then says loud enough for only me to hear, “so you meet again, it must be fate.” I roll my eyes and then he lets my arm go and holds his hand out in front of Chan and says, “I’m Felix, we met earlier but you were in a bit of a rush, I’m assuming.”

“Ah, yeah sorry about that,” Chan says, he grabs Felix’s hand and lets his sunny smile cross his expression once more. “I’m glad we met again,” he turns to me when he says this, “it was really getting under my skin that I didn’t get to apologize to you properly.” An awkward chuckle escapes his lips.

“Oh, no, no it’s no big deal at all,” I say more rushed than I intend, “I’m sure you were busy, with it being New Year’s Eve and all,” I give him a little wink and his smile grows even bigger. “Plus I can kind of tell that you’re not from here,” he looks at me with a confused expression, “I mean your accent is obviously not American.” I say with a laugh.

“Looks like you caught me,” he laughs and puts his hands up by his shoulders. Before he can say anything else, though, one of his friends is leaning into his ear and whispering something to him. I try to catch what they’re saying but it’s too loud around me to hear. At this point the crowd has dispersed into a much less dense one and there’s enough room around to move freely. I glance over at Felix and at the same time feel a slight brush at my hand before it’s grasped by someone else’s. I look up and Chan’s attention has fully returned to me.

“We’re gonna head back to our Airbnb now, but I’m wondering if you want to come?” He asks with a smile plastered to his face.

I look back at Felix to see his reaction and then say, “I want to, but I would feel better if my friends could come too?” Felix is nodding behind me and Chan slips a quick glance to them before turning back to me and smiling again.

“Yeah, of course, the more the merrier!” He says. The friend that whispered into his ear before taps his arm and gives a little jerk of his head when Chan looks over. He starts to lead us through the still thinning crowd to the entrance, and I notice that Chan hasn’t let go of my hand since he first grabbed it. When he looks back at me when we make it back to the entrance, I can feel my cheeks heating up and hope that it’s too dark to see them change color.

“So,” he starts to say, “if it’s so obvious that I’m not from around here, what’s your guess?”

“My guess?”

“Yeah,” he says, “where do you think I’m from?”

“Oh,” I pause for a moment, “well your accent is pretty similar to Felix’s, so I’m guessing Australia?”

“You’re pretty clever,” he says in return, “I don’t think I could ever get used to it being cold in December though.”

“Really? Then why come to New York during the coldest time of the year?”

“Well, it’s on everyone’s bucket list isn’t it?” He says and then adds, “to come to New York for New Year’s Eve.”

“Yeah I guess so, but I don’t really see the big deal. You can’t even go to the bathroom once you’re in the barricades.”

“Yeah I know,” Chan says with a sort of defeated tone in his voice, “I wish someone would’ve told me that before we got inside.” He trails the end with a laugh.

As we round the next corner, snow starts to lightly fall from the sky. Chan’s friends in front of us start to murmur to each other like kids seeing snow for the first time and I let out a small giggle at that. After about a minute or so the road goes back to the calmer atmosphere it had before, and I realize that we’re walking directly toward my apartment. I give Felix a quick glance to see if he’s noticed it too, and when our eyes meet he lifts his eyebrow at me. I shrug as if to say what’re the odds and then turn back to Chan who’s telling me that if he were in Australia today, he’d be wearing shorts and flip flops with a zero percent chance of snow in the forecast. Then he’s telling me about how he would probably be swimming too and I can’t help but wish I was somewhere warm while we’re walking down a freshly snow covered street.

“You know, I live really close to here,” I say at a break in the conversation.

“What? Really?” Surprise crosses Chan’s face.

“Yeah, actually it’s only like a minute away.” I say and then hear someone ahead of me say “We’re almost there!” in a bright tone. I lift my eyebrows when we head toward my apartment building instead of turning down the street. I point ahead and then add, “that’s my apartment building.”

“No way,” Chan says as we inch closer and closer to it. “I think that’s where we’re staying.”

“Very funny,” I say.

“No, I’m serious,” I search his face to see if he’s lying, but we reach the stairs and it’s enough to know that he’s telling the truth. “What floor are you on?” He asks as we climb the first flight.

“3.” He’s silent for a moment too long so I add, “you guys aren’t on 3 also, are you?”

“Actually,” he pauses, “I think it’s 304.”

Then tension sits in the air for a moment before I say, “you should really think about playing music will less bass.” Chan gives me a confused look, “I’m in 305,” I let a smile fill my lips when I say so.

“Wow, what a coincidence.” He thinks for a second, “wait, that’s actually pretty convenient.”

“Why?”

“Because you can go home whenever you want.” We reach the 3rd floor then and the door to apartment 304 is already being opened by one of Chan’s friends. When we get into the main room, it looks the same as mine except the furniture has a vintage 70s vibe and the couch in the center of the room is an ugly green color. There are two more rooms splitting off from the main one, and after counting the number of Chan’s friends I’m assuming they’re bedrooms with more than one bed in each of them. The only light other than the dimmed overhead light is coming from different colored hexagon tiles that are hanging on the wall. Before long, there’s music bumping through the speakers on the entertainment center. Chan has to lean into my ear before saying, “pretty cool isn’t it?” because the volume is up pretty loud. After he leans away, he holds up a beer in front of me and tilts his head. I grab it from him and give a soft smile.

“Thanks,” I say and then add, “it looks nothing like mine, apart from the layout.” Chan leads me over to the couch, we sit, and cheers glasses before both taking big swings from our bottles.

2 and a half beers and 3 shots of soju in he asks, “Do you like living in New York?”

I think for a while and then say, “Yeah, I didn’t grow up here, but I always liked the idea of moving to a big city so I applied to college here and when I moved for my freshman year I just kind of never left.” I shrug and take another drink from the bottle I’m holding.

“Aw wow, it’s cool that you got to reach your goal.” I give him a slightly skeptical look.

“I wouldn’t say it was really a goal, more like an idea that I liked.”

“Yeah but it’s still cool,” he pauses, “I’m thinking about moving from Australia, but I’m not sure where I would go,” he pauses again, “just an idea I like, I guess.” He shrugs this time and I clink my almost empty bottle to his. “You know what else would be cool,” he eyes me and leans a little closer than he probably would if he was completely sober, “if you showed me your apartment.”

I let out a genuine belly laugh, “that’s what cool is to you?”

“You bet,” he pops up from the couch and throws his hand out to me.

“Alright, if you want.” I take his hand, finish the last of my beer, and place the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of me before standing up. As we walk across the room, I catch Felix’s gaze and throw up a peace sign with my free hand. He pushes himself off of the wall he’s leaning on and walks over to me.

“Heading out?” He says into my ear.

“We’re just going next door,” I chuckle, “So, yes and no.” He glances back at Minho, who gives him a bright smile when their eyes meet.

“Well if you’re gonna ditch, I think we’re gonna head out too.” Minho nods from behind him and then inches close enough to rest his head on Felix’s shoulder. I lift an eyebrow at him and he raises both of his back at me two times in quick succession.

“Text me when you get home,” I say and smile.

“Wouldn’t think not to.”

When I turn back to Chan, he’s talking to one of his friends. After 10 seconds or so he looks at me with a grin on his face and says, “ready to go?” I nod and we head to the entrance.

It takes less than a minute for us to get fully inside and situated in the apartment next door. I flip on the lights and watch as Chan starts to wander into the living room.

“You’re right,” he says after a couple of moments of silence.

“I’m right?” I question from across the room.

“Yeah,” he turns to me, “that apartments nothing like yours.” He turns towards the doors the opposite wall. “But it feels like home.” I let out a muffled giggle and I can see his ears turning red before he whips around and adds in a rushed tone, “A home, a home, not my home, not my home at all, just a home,” my giggles escalates into a full laugh at his rambling. “Not that I don’t want it to be my home, just, uh, I’m trying to not be weird.”

“Aw really?” I say when I’ve composed myself, “I was hoping you’d move in.” I fake an exaggerated sigh and then continue laughing with Chan joining in. “You’re really cute when you’re flustered,” I say.

“Oh yeah, well,” he pauses for a moment and then says, “well, you’re just really cute.” He turns away from me and faces the doors again. “I’m gonna guess that the left one is yours.”

“Hmm, well, you would guess wrong.” I say and walk over to the door on the right side of the room. Chan gives a pouty expression and lets out a little “hmph”

“Does anyone live there?” He says pointing to the left.

“Yeah, but she’s out for the week on vacation for New Year’s Eve.” I glance over at her door and let out a little sigh. “Must be nice to have a job that lets you have the whole week off.” I push my door open and then lean on the door frame. “I do want to say, though,” Chan looks at me with a look of concern, “I don’t usually bring guys home with me the first day we meet, so—“ I let the end drop off.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting— I didn’t think we’d— uh,” Chan gives a cheeky grin, “yeah no worries.”

I walk into my bedroom and lay my keys on my dresser before sitting on the bed. Chan follows suit but spends quite a lot more time making his way to the bed because he’s preoccupied with looking around the room. When he’s finally satisfied he stops in front of my nightstand and bends halfway over to inspect the tiny cactus and succulent trio that’s in a small pot.

“These are cute,” he glances over at me and then back at the plants, “do they have names?” He asks in a genuinely curious tone.

“Oh, actually,” I pause for a moment to think, “no they don’t.”

My face falls slightly and I only notice because Chan is saying “oh no don’t worry it’s okay,” and turning his attention fully onto me and away from the succulents. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and then he peels his eyes away and I can see his cheeks dusting pink. “How about we name them together?” He asks.

“Okay,” I say and smile. Chan plops down on the bed and then let’s out a low hmmm.

“How about, Chan,” he says.

“Oh my gosh, no.” I say laughing.

“Okay, okay, how about we name this one,” a second slips by, “Tom.”

“What? Why Tom?” I ask.

“Because that’s where we first met each other.” He says with a contagiously sunny smile.

“Oh that’s right,” I say, “it feels like that was 2 weeks ago, but it was literally,” I check my watch, 3am, “12 hours ago.”

“Wow can you believe that?” He kicks his feet up, resting his legs on my thighs, and lays down on the pillows with his arms crossed behind his head. “What if we didn’t meet again?” He lifts his head slightly to look at me.

“I don’t know,” I say and then lift Chan’s legs up and move onto the bed to lay next to him. He turns his body to face me.

“Well I’m really glad we did,” he says, his tone soft and sweet.

“Me too.” He inches a little closer to me and rests his forehead on mine.

“Can I kiss you?” I nod in response and lean into his pillowy lips for the second time that night. The kiss is soft and innocent and it feels like something out of a dream.

“I don’t want to leave,” Chan lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Then don’t,” I say and connect our lips again but this time the kiss is much more rushed and wanting, full of unspoken desire. I can feel my cheeks heating up and at the same time Chan is rolling us over so he’s embracing me. Our kiss deepens into something even more raw and I have to pull away before I can’t help myself. He peppers tiny kisses all over my face and I can’t help but giggle.

“This might be a weird question, but can I sleep here?” He asks.

“I would love that,” I say and place one more quick kiss onto his lips before pulling out of his embrace. “But if you’re going to stay I’m going to change into some pajamas.”

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levinneheart · 4 years

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I'm the tanaka request! o.o I didnt see the other prompt lists! it's from prompt 1 and I'd love a fluffy scenario?? but if you add a little angst to make me suffer i wouldn't be opposed to it thank you bbyyy

❝ heeeey!! i looove your writing!!! it makes me go fnfjkdksnaj idk if you're taking requests but if you are can i ask for 13 + 28 with Tanaka? my boy needs some loveeee thank youuuu ❞ — requested by anon

ASDFGHJKL! Thank you for my first request and for requesting this bby, anon! I’m so sorry this took so long! This was supposed to be a headcanon but it ended up getting super long so I decided it’ll be a scenario. Glad you enjoy my writing, hope I did him justice here 👉👈 Also, I left the ending up to you! Tehehe. N e wayz... Happy reading!~ (Fun fact: I was this 🤏 close to turning this into a fully angst story but I held back hahahaha). Love from Levinne

Uno

requested on: 26-27th of July 2020

finished on: 31st of July 2020 (around 9pm)

➳ Pairing: Tanaka Ryuunosuke x F!Reader (ft. Shimizu Kiyoko)

➳ Synopsis: u·no(adj.) — one in spanish

➳ Genre: Fluff, Angst, First Kiss, Pinning, Scenario

➳ Prompt: 13 ‘Wait! Please don’t pull away... not yet’ + 28 ‘You were my first kiss’ from prompt 1

➳ Word count: 1k+

➳ Warnings: Slight angst, slight manga spoiler if you squint

➳ Playlist: Both Of Us by B.oB. (ft. Taylor Swift), Just A Dream by Nelly (Sam Tsui Cover), Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk (ft. Nate Ruess), Sad Song by We The Kings (ft. Elena Coats) that inspired this scenario!

They first met and became childhood friends because both of their representative parents were close to each other since college but unlike their older siblings, Saeko and (r/n)... (y/n) and Ryuunosuke weren’t exactly friends.

They were more like... acquaintances who went to each other’s houses to celebrate a relatives’ bday or some special occasion that their parents dragged them to.

(Y/n) always meet Ryuunosuke with your mother and vice versa, but when they do encounter each other... she’ll politely nod her head to greet him whilst he awkwardly waves a hand in response.

Until one day on Saeko’s birthday, (y/n) and Ryuunosuke were partnered up by the game host on a game called: newspaper dance. Wherein players are grouped into pairs and given a page of a newspaper. The players dance around the paper until the music stops wherein they have to stand on the paper and remain so until the music starts again. As the game progresses, the paper is folded in half for each round and each pair must make ways to pass each round. A pair which steps out of the paper is eliminated and the last team standing wins.

The competition was steep since there’s only two pairs left: them and a pair of their siblings’ friends – they were surprisingly winning by a hair, it was also unexpectedly easy to adjust and cooperate with Ryuunosuke.

On the next turn, the newspaper was folded to a one-fourth sized intermediate paper, causing them to struggle with putting both of their feet on the paper and keeping their balance — the adrenaline was now high and the pressure was on as the game host and everybody else started counting down.

In her panicked self, (y/n) boldly asked Ryuunosuke if she could carry him and when he nodded — she immediately put one leg on her hip and wrapped her arms under his butt before carrying him as she tipped over the small folded newspaper.

She couldn’t see the other pair in her position but she focused on the task at hand, quite literally. After what felt like eternity to her was actually just five minutes. “You can put me down now.” He said, tapping her shoulder as (y/n) slowly crouched down and settled him on the ground.

They were obviously announced as winners!

After that incident, they started talking more. Ryuu began changing to a loud extrovert before shaving his beautiful blond hair off, although (y/n) liked his hair - if he preferred it shaved then she’ll respect his decision.

It wasn’t until middle school that they became tight knit like surrogate siblings! These days are when Ryuu became hot-headed and prone to fights while (y/n) was the one who kept him in line and helped him study, especially when he needed a high score to continue playing in the volleyball club.

They were now on the middle school graduation, (y/n) actually managed to help Ryuu pass and graduate with her help. He knows she know that he’s indebted to her so after the ceremony, Ryuu approached her and asked if he could do anything to make it up to her since she was always so patient with him.

“Ice cream and a hug.” She answered.

His eyes widen in disbelief. “That’s all?”

“Mhm.”

“I’ll give you a hug after the ceremony on the after party.”

“There’s an after party?”

“Yeah, at our house with our families.”

“Of course.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Ryuu chuckled. “But we’re not attending.”

(Y/n) looked at his smirking face with a smirk of her own, thus forming a plan that only them could think of. It would surely bring chaos to the after party and to their families because they won’t know what hit them.

In the graduation ceremony, they went up to their friends and made small talk before taking a bunch of pictures with them and their families. It was a heartwarming and fun experience to everybody who graduated and attended. However, on the way to Ryuu’s house, they started chatting with each other on their phones and internally snickering to themselves in the backseat of their parents’ cars as they went through their plan once again.

Once they arrive at their destination, the plan commences. (Y/n) approach her parents and asked if she could have a sleepover with Ryuu after the after party as she removed her graduation gown and handed it to her mother before informing them, she’ll ask Saeko if she could borrow some of her old clothes so that they won’t have to worry about that. (Yer mother’s name) told her if she behaves then she could, to which (y/n) eagerly agrees on.

Stage one of the plan was a success! Now, stage two is to borrow clothes which was the easiest of the plan since when Saeko heard little (y/n) was staying the night, she immediately gave her old clothes that didn’t fit her anymore. Next is the tricky part... stage three. They worked fast and diligently as they started by taking pieces of food, one by one so no one would noticed and that was also a success. Stage four is to escape unnoticed from the after party which went without any hitch. And lastly, stage five: locking themselves in Ryuu’s room and having their own little party.

Ryuu went out of his room to buy you ice cream and got seen by his sister as everyone was looking everywhere for you guys. He went back out of breath, locking the door behind him and giving her the vanilla flavored ice cream before joining her on his bed. His door banged multiple times as they sat inside hysterically laughing before it got unlocked with its own keys.

(Y/n) would look back on those good memories as they now looked at each other, knowing that they soon had to parted ways in high school.

“I never had that hug back then, Uno.” She stated with a wry smile as she sadly watched her parents pack their belongings and place it on the trunk of their car.

Ryuu rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh yeah... I forgot.” He awkwardly admitted.

“(Y/n), say your goodbyes to Ryuu-kun. We’ll be waiting in the car.” Her parents informed her before leaving the two alone.

“Last hug before I never see you again?”

His heart broke when he saw tears flowing down from her eyes and he couldn’t help but cry himself. He opened his arms, widely as she immediately tackled him into a hug. “Shh. We can still talk to each other and maybe someday.. we’ll be reunited. You never know, (nickname)...”

“Really..?” She pulled away slightly to look up at him before hearing her parents called out to her. “I have to go—”

“Wait! Please don’t pull away... not yet.” Ryuu glanced at her eyes then her mouth before looking at her with red tinted cheeks.

(Y/n) leaned closer to him while he closed their distance as their lips met for a quick yet soft kiss before parting shortly. “This is my promise to you, (n/n)... we will see each other again.”

“It’s a deal, Uno.” She replies before getting inside of her parents’ car, feeling giddy and shocked from her first kiss.

They continued to text one another, sometimes he would send pictures of his volleyball team, although Ryuu went to Karasuno while she went to Inarizaki.

She would take on the role of being their manager as she thought it would bring them together someday and it did... in the worst way possible.

(Y/n)’s heart shattered as she saw Ryuu talking to a pretty girl with black shoulder length hair and glasses before letting him carry her bag for her. She took a picture and texted him.

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s1utspeare · 3 years

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Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!!

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes.

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol.

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death.

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now.

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny.

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably.

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone.

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun!

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer!

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad).

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me.

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

#ask tag #about me #Brigid's Fox #asldighalsdkfj i thought cross' tag was very funny so i've decided that's my foxofninetales tag from now on #because i love her

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 263: [Immigrant Song Intensifies]

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko sicced five Noumus on Miruko. Rephrase that: Ujiko sicced only five Noumus on Miruko. In hindsight this was obviously a mistake. Miruko proceeded to laugh and jump around kicking all of them and literally ripping the head off of the strongest one’s neck with nothing but her thighs. It was legendary and awe-inspiring and also she lost an arm but WHO EVEN CARES, I’m still pledging my allegiance to her. Miruko once beat the sun in a staring contest. Miruko’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because nobody fucking fools Miruko. Anyway so also the heroes are finally attacking the League of Pliff’s HQ and Skeptic is running around all “AHHHH” so I guess we’ll see how that goes now.

Today on BnHA: Things finally get started over in Gunga, although for the time being most of the kids from 1-A and 1-B are still sitting around in the woods all pent-up and anxious and restlessly shipping KamiJirou. Meanwhile on the front lines, three-and-a-half-year-old Kaminari Denki is all “SOB I WANT TO BE BACK WITH MY FRIENDS WHERE IT’S SAFE”, to which Midnight, who I would just like to remind you is (1) an adult, (2) a teacher, and (3) a person responsible for this literal child’s safety in any number of other capacities, responds with “SORRY KIDDO WE NEED YOUR QUIRK.” I have yet to see any compelling evidence that they really do need it, but putting that dubious matter aside, Kaminari does kick some ass once he gets over his anxieties. Meanwhile Cementoss tears a building in half, Tokoyami reflects on how he was exposed to Kaminari’s good and pure moral character during their many soulful jam sessions, Hawks is about to kill Twice, and – wait, what.

a few stray thoughts since this chapter is taking forever to come out today. one, the good guys need to take out Twice and Toga as soon as they find them, because they’re currently the deadliest combination in the League. Twice for obvious reasons, and Toga because I’m pretty sure she got some of Aizawa’s blood that one time back during the Basement arc, and that fact coupled with the fact that she can now use the quirk of whoever she transforms into spells big trouble for the good guys since she can basically just cancel out whoever’s quirk she wants. plus she’s probably also immune to Midnight’s quirk. all in all bad news

two, it is interesting that Hagakure is the only 1-A kid we haven’t seen yet! probably just me overreacting, but still interesting!

(ETA: we do see her standing next to Mina in this chapter, so so much for that. you get out of it this time Tooru!)

and three, I’m not clear on whether or not Skeptic has actually figured out that Hawks betrayed them, or if he just suspects it, or if he thinks that Hawks leaked something accidentally and doesn’t realize that this entire time the dude was 100% playing them. I’m sure we’ll find out shortly. but regardless of how this plays out, I’m already dreading Twice’s reaction to all this :/ my sweet innocent baby. HE THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS FRIEND HAWKS. HE TRUSTED YOU. fff I really hope Twice’s inherently good and trusting nature isn’t a casualty of all this. then again I still think Twice himself is very unlikely to survive this. so basically I’m just bracing myself for pain sob

(ETA: oh this is bad.)

(ETA 2: by the way just to clarify, the above paragraphs were all written on Friday, and the rest of this recap+all ETAs were written the next day when I finally got to read the chapter! this is not important in any way whatsoever but now you know and that’s half the battle!)

“it’s time” holy shit finally lol. you all have been camped out over here for weeks now. not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy each and every second of Miruko’s one-woman murder show, but it is nice to finally check in with you guys over here so we can get to work at last and I can get a better feel for who’s about to die. cuz someone here is dying guys

the chapter is called “I wanna be with the others!!” so. this is gonna be a Kaminari chapter isn’t it. I wonder what fresh new traitorous hijinks he’ll be getting up to this week. that detestable scoundrel

Mineta is being all weasel-y and reluctant, and honestly, I’m a bit annoyed. and for once it’s not directed at him! it’s like... how do I explain it. okay, so like, the manga is showing him being all cowardly and clearly not at all happy about being out here, and the fact that it’s Mineta doing it only adds to the general flavor of this being the wrong attitude to have and just a really shameful way of acting in general, because it’s Mineta and we all know Mineta is vile and so clearly he’s in the wrong here! the only thing is though, I actually don’t blame him even if he’s being a little shit about it, because the kids absolutely should not be here in the first place. are they strong? fuck yes. are they gonna end up being the ones to turn the tide once everything inevitably goes to shit, and thus the others are really goddamn lucky that they’re here? probably. does that make it right to conscript kids and send them out here to a soon-to-be war zone which the adults have very little control over meaning that some of these children will almost certainly be injured and traumatized and possibly even killed? nope! not right at all! no amount of “plus ultra” can justify this, folks. and “we get that it’s wrong but that’s just the fucked up times we live in” doesn’t actually justify it either, even if the HPSC seems to think so

but having said all that, there’s clearly nothing to be done about it at this point, and I’m about to enjoy this chapter of the kids presumably kicking ass even after all that whining, so I’ll just carefully climb down from my soapbox now. but I’m still keeping it handy just in case!

who the fuck is this Thundercats guy who looks like he was part of an old timey street gang in 1920s Chicago

lol can he hear the villain hotel being ripped in half over there in the distance

and speaking of hearing, Jirou is popping her earbuds into the ground to do some reconnaissance of her own I guess!

the heroes?? she better not mean the villains. oh lord I still don’t have the faintest idea how they’re planning on actually containing them all. well, brace yourselves everyone. here comes the shitshow

now Gangs of New York is making the most unnecessary speech in the history of this manga

were any of them actually going to be careless?? I’m pretty sure they understand the gravity of the situation my dude. and if they didn’t, I’d say that’s honestly on you guys and not on them because, again, they’re kids. and if you didn’t want a bunch of teenagers goofing off during your incredibly dangerous and vitally important do-or-die hero mission, then maybe you shouldn’t have brought a bunch of teenagers to your incredibly dangerous and vitally important do-or-die hero mission

“listen makeste are you just going to sit around all day bitching about my cardinal sin of daring to involve your precious little darlings in the actual plot,” the imaginary Horikoshi that sits around trying to keep these recaps from veering off track interjects. and okay fine

sob it feels wrong to see MomoJirou there without their Kaminari

(ETA: and there is Hagakure on the left, FYI. at least I think that’s her?)

their baby boy is all out there alone in the woods. is that why you were really listening, Jirou? you can tell me, I promise not to make a big deal about it

MOMO ARE YOU COMFORTING JIROU WHILE SHE OPENLY WORRIES ABOUT “TOKOYAMI”

I lied, I might make a big thing about it. what a beautiful March day for some OT3

MY INFANT SON!!

HE’S ONLY TWO YEARS OLD!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? MIDNIGHT YOU BETTER KEEP HIM SAFE!! at least until he makes it back safely into the hands of his friends, the League of Villains

meanwhile here’s a fun tip, this manga gets 100x funnier if you scroll back up to that panel of Jirou being all serious and saying “they’re on the move” now that we know that this outburst is almost certainly what she was listening to lmao. “oh, Kaminari is crying, that must mean they’re getting started”

and here they go!!

who is that in the witch hat?? COULD THIS BE THE LEGENDARY MAJESTIC, AT LONG LAST? this person looks like they cobbled together their entire hero costume from Sero’s bedroom. just ransacked it and draped all of his tapestries and throw pillows every which way over some Adidas pants. goddammit who is this person, I need to know everything about them right now

DAMMIT MIDNIGHT

HE’S NOT OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE THOSE KIND OF DECISIONS GODDAMMIT. HE IS YOUNG AND PLIABLE!! WHAT DID YOU DO, OFFER HIM CANDY. DID YOU PROMISE YOU WOULD TAKE HIM TO CHUCK E. CHEESE AFTER IF HE WAS GOOD

SON OF A BITCH ARE YOU GUILTING HIM

I DON’T LIKE THIS, MIDNIGHT. I MEAN, YOU ALREADY KNOW, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE MADE A BIG SECRET OF IT OR ANYTHING. GUH

and he’s shouting back “no I don’t think you adults are pathetic at all!” while still looking terrified! goddammit how do I cast protection on a fictional character in a manga. I don’t play D&D, but D&D players can do that, right? how do I create a shield around my party. Kaminari you stay put while I try and figure this all out

lmaoooooo Tokoyami’s words of encouragement

A MAGNIFICENT FELLOW. you guys I’m gonna be honest, lately I’ve been enjoying these fan scanlations even more than the official ones at times. obviously Viz’s are fine and good, but sometimes it’s almost like they localize everything a little too much, you know? most people don’t go around calling other people magnificent fellows, but would Tokoyami? yes. yes he would. I believe this in every fiber of my heart

LMAO KAMINARI

“KAMINARI, I REALIZED WHEN WE WERE PLAYING GUITAR TOGETHER... WAY TO WHITE-KNUCKLE THOSE SICK FRETS, HALEN.” thank you so much for that Tokoyami but we are kind of in the middle of something so I’m not sure if right now is really the time to start asking my boy here for his autograph. after, maybe

now Cementoss is literally screaming “ATTACK!” and throwing subtlety to the winds

and now we’re back to this!

and it looks like this is most likely Cementoss using his quirk to tear the building in half! so that’s one mystery from last week solved! holy shit you guys I just realized we’re actually going to see Cementoss in action. so long as the environment is right, dude is a literal earthbender. we may be in for a rare treat

Skeptic is shouting at his minions to alert the Council. it’s okay, Cementoss already alerted them for you I’m pretty sure

so he’s sending Violet and Black to the front entrance, and Cleveland and Carmine to the Assembly Hall (where the Council is). these, if you recall, are the names of the various Vanguard squads, though I don’t recall who is actually on which squad and I really don’t want to go back and look it up... but fine!

okay, Twice is on the Black squad and Dabi and Otter Pop are on Violet. so they’re being dispatched to the front, while Toga, Compress, Spinner, and Skeptic himself (how convenient for you Skeptic) are heading to the Assembly Hall. isn’t that nice that Dabi is heading out to the front, where my son Kaminari “Clapton” Denki is. hahaha. fuck

Lefty Hair is now making a sudden appearance and giving Skeptic some threatening “you majorly fucked up and the only reason I’m letting it slide for now is because we’ve got bigger things to worry about” vibes, which I like. also he has a cigarette. it’s been a while since I’ve seen a manga character actually smoke a cigarette. I guess only villains are allowed to smoke them now

YOU GUYS LOOK HOW FUCKING RAW CEMENTOSS LOOKS HERE HOLY SHIT

HOW MANY PEOPLE IS CEMENTOSS GOING TO KILL TODAY. place your bets. and is cement stronger than fire. please don’t die Cementoss

YOU GUYS HE FUCKING SLAMMED THE FUCKING BUILDING OPEN LIKE ARAGORN OPENING THOSE FUCKING DOUBLE DOORS IN THE TWO TOWERS. I KNOW YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY SLAM A DOOR OPEN BUT ARE WE GOING TO SIT HERE AND ARGUE SEMANTICS ALL DAY OR ARE WE GOING TO KEEP READING??

ARE WE EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS MUCH BADASSERY IN A CHAPTER THAT DOESN’T HAVE MIRUKO IN IT. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO INFORM THE BADASSERY GUILD THAT THEIR UNION MEMBERS ARE WORKING OVERTIME. I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS METAPHOR I GOT TOO EXCITED

by the way I like how a key part of their “let’s contain all the villains” plan was to open up their secret HQ and spill them all out like a bunch of ants. everyone knows this is the best way to keep people contained. instead of stationing people outside of every exit, let’s just make the entire building into one giant exit and MELEE AWAY ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

who died and made Lefty the smartest guy in the room

if only they had all listened to you, Mister Smart Guy. you’re so smart. why didn’t they put you in charge. probably just because they were jealous

booooo it looks like Black and Violet are attacking but Twice and Dabi are nowhere to be found! because they’re part of the Council?? boooo

Best Sweaterist can do anything a sweater can do. it’s not a very good power. everyone was all “you look like the number 3 hero you must be really strong” and so she got promoted waaaaay above her skill level and it’s too late for her to do anything about it now so good luck Best Sweaterist

finally some people from the League!

but where is Hawks? AND WHY IS DABI HEADING THE OPPOSITE WAY AS EVERYONE ELSE HOLY SHIT

LOL HAWKS YOU BEST MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE MY DUDE. OH FUCK

(ETA: Dabi is either going to arrive just in time to save Twice, or just in time to witness Hawks murdering him, and I’m not sure which would be worse.)

OH MY GOD EDGESHOT GOT A LINE

I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT TO HEAR THIS WITH MY OWN TWO EARS IN THE ANIME. IT’S GONNA BE SO GREAT AH MAN. but real talk, Miruko should be above him in the power rankings. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules. but unless you kill three Noumus within the next few pages here I’d say it’s pretty clear cut

OH NO MY SIX-YEAR-OLD SON, MY POOR BABY, HE LOOKS SO FRIGHTENED NOW. LIKE GENUINELY AFRAID-FOR-HIS-LIFE FRIGHTENED AND NOT JUST COMICALLY FRIGHTENED OH MY GOD I CAN’T

Kaminari you sweet little lamb, it’s going to be okay. you just take a deep breath and zap some of these PLF fuckers and then you can go run and hide and you’ll be playing tacky arcade games and eating hit-or-miss-quality pizza before you know it

Kami is actually in a lot of danger here what with how helpless he gets after he uses too much of his quirk though. (unless of course you subscribe to the theory that he doesn’t actually go dumb at all and that’s when he’s secretly transmitting his traitor messages to the zetans.) whose fucking idea was it to put him on the front lines, honestly. he’s only four!!

fuck me, Midnight sees him panicking and she’s being all soothing and encouraging while also being ridiculously sexy as usual. dammit Midnight

hey Kaminari if you want to think about Momo and Jirou I’m not going to complain, I just want you to know that. you can even make it all platonic by just saying “my friends.” either way is fine and I will respect your smokescreen

ahh he’s turning around and the camera is zooming back to the woods where the rest of 1-A are!

the title of this chapter is becoming surprisingly meaningful!! well played!

WOW

I don’t even know what to say?! I basically just slapped both of my cheeks and said “AWWW” out loud?! would you fucking look at these two bisexual icons living it up in this the year of our lord 2020. what a blessing

oh hey this guy decided it was time for him to talk again

okay Kami I give you permission to go pikachu on his ass. go ahead and show us why the heroes went ahead and violated ILO conventions in order to bring you here

don’t tell me this guy is also an electric type. lol who could have guessed that, there were absolutely no clues at all in his hairstyle or anywhere else. I would definitely have noticed something like that because I definitely pay attention to these things lol

(ETA: and presumably the heroes knew the identities of the Vanguard squadron leaders thanks to Hawks, and knew they had to have some sort of plan in place for this guy’s quirk, hence them being all “hey Kaminari let’s talk.”)

anyway

OH SHIT YOU GUYS KAMINARI IS ABOUT TO BE A BADASS!?

MOTHERFUCKER WAS THAT A SHOUNEN WOOSH???! whaaaaaat oh shit everybody brace yourselves

and now a Tokoyami flashback to the two of them jamming like little hero Hendrixes

because he prioritized the health of his fingers beneath his desire to learn the guitar to help his friends perform, you realized he was truly a magnificent fellow. aw shit it’s all coming together

yep

look how evil that smile in the last panel is. clearly the traitor. probably this other electric man is his dad

USING AN ELECTRIC ATTACK AGAINST ANOTHER ELECTRIC TYPE CLEARLY WON’T WORK AND THUS THIS IS ONLY A FAKE ATTACK DESIGNED IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN HIS COVER!

LOOK HOW EVIL HE IS

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN A FIVE-YEAR-OLD HAVING THIS KIND OF RAW FIREPOWER UNLESS HE’S SECRETLY EVIL!??!

OH MY GOD I LITERALLY SAID “OH MY GOD” VERY LOUDLY IN REAL LIFE AND NOW I’M HOPING MY NEIGHBORS DIDN’T HEAR HOW LOUDLY AND EMBARASSINGLY I SAID “OH MY GOD”

FUUUUCK

just. it’s like this weird and crazy feeling that’s a combination of adrenaline and chills-rushing-up-your-spine. that’s the sensation of clicking to a page and suddenly seeing the thing we fucking knew was going to happen, but just because we knew doesn’t mean we actually wanted it to happen, shit

holy shit. does Jin have to die in order for the heroes to succeed? probably. do I want it to actually happen? NO. am I suddenly reevaluating every single thing I thought I knew about Hawks and mentally updating Jeanist’s presumed mortality status in my head?? yes. are Hawks’s eyes here going to give me nightmares for the entire coming week? also yes. am I really unsettled wondering if those eyes were the last thing Jeanist ever saw? listen why do you keep asking me all of these intrusive and deeply upsetting questions like I’m some kind of magic 8 ball?? am I going to be on the edge of my fucking seat now waiting for next week? fuck

#bnha 263 #kaminari denki #jirou kyouka #tokoyami fumikage #cementoss #hawks #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste spoiler recap #makeste reads bnha #is kaminari the traitor? still no #is horikoshi the traitor? probably #nah you know what #yes

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inctlife · 4 years

Text

Introductions | HRJ ~ Changming

genre: fluff, angst

summary: in which you’re scared to admit that you’re pregnant with renjun’s baby, and even more scared to tell his mum

age: Changming = fetus / Areum = 11 months / Hanuel = fetus

warnings: pregnant!reader

_________

Saturday 20th July, 2024

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” you muttered, “shit!”

“Angel? You alright?” Renjun called at your sudden profanity.

“Uhh, yeah! Sorry, just one second!” you called, turning round and round as you looked for a possible place to hide the small white stick in your hands.

You settled for the bin, covering it in toilet paper and other rubbish you could find.

“It can’t be,” you muttered, biting your lip, “it’s wrong, it has to be.”

“Y/N, hurry up! It’s still paused,” Renjun called.

“Coming!” you exclaimed, exiting the bathroom and running down the stairs, back onto the sofa.

“You alright?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and peering down at you.

You nodded, “yep! Yeah, yeah, just carry on.”

Renjun shrugged, relaxing back into the sofa and resuming the film, but you couldn’t get the thoughts rushing through your head to stop.

“Hey, Junnie, what do you think about kids?” you asked casually.

“Pretty gross most of the time,” he shrugged, “Areum’s alright though. Why?”

You chuckled nervously, “just wondering!”

What if it wasn’t wrong? What if you were actually about to have a child with Renjun?

The thought alone made you more naeseous than the morning sickness you’d been experiencing blindly for the past month.

Tuesday 23rd July, 2024

“Hmm? Y/N? You alright?” Renjun called, his voice laced with sleep.

You groaned, throwing up some more before taking a deep breath, “yeah!”

“Shut up, you’re literally vomiting,” Renjun sighed, trudging into the bathroom, rubbing your back, “you really should go to the doctor, this has been going on for ages.”

You hummed, “I will.”

Renjun relaxed slightly, kissing your shoulder, “you alright now?”

You shrugged, “let’s wait a minute and see.”

It was silent as the two of you carried on being half asleep, both leaning with your eyes closed before nausea hit you again.

“Nope, not okay.”

Wednesday 31st July, 2024

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the doctor called.

You raised your hand slightly, standing up and following the doctor into his office.

“So what seems to be the problem?” he asked, “constant vomiting, yes?”

You nodded, sighing, “truthfully, I– I took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago now and it was um... it was positive.”

The doctor nodded, “I see. Are you married?”

You shook your head, “I have a boyfriend, but it’s a bit of a... difficult situation.”

“Miss Y/L/N, if there’s anything the services can do to—“

“No! No! My boyfriend is an idol under SM,” you nodded, “so I think I’m in a.. little bit of denial.”

The doctor nodded, “ah. Okay, well, have you been having regular periods?”

You shook your head, “I haven’t had my period for this month.”

“Do you usually have regular periods?”

You nodded, your voice barely audibly, “yes.”

The doctor hummed, “well, I will do another pregnancy test, and if possible a blood test just to see, and then we will get back to you with the results.”

“Okay,” you nodded, holding back your tears, “thank you.”

Monday 5th August, 2024

“Y/N, you’ve got a letter,” Renjun said.

You hummed, “open it for me?”

Your boyfriend tore open the envelope, muttering to himself, “oh, it’s from the doctor, that was quick.”

Dear Miss Y/N Y/L/N,

this letter is regarding the results of your last appointment at our hospital. The results show that you are pregnant. We would recommend calling and scheduling an appointment with us regarding this matter, if not, we will be in touch.

Thank you.

“What does it say?” you called, “Renjun? Whose it from?”

“H-How long have you known?” he asked, gripping the letter tight in his hands.

“Renjun, tell me who it’s from,” you said, walking up to your boyfriend and taking the letter from his hands.

“The hospital,” he said, watching as you scanned the letter, “Y/N, you knew didn’t you? How long have you known?!”

You sighed, “Renjun—“

“How long?”

“Since last month,” you said, “only a couple of weeks, I swear. But I knew when I went to see the doctor. He just... he confirmed it.”

Renjun shook his head, placing his hands on your cheeks gently.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be sorry,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I just want to be there for you, and if you don’t tell me I can’t be!”

You nodded sheepishly.

“Come here,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close so you could feel his heartbeat, “I know now and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“But your mum,” you said, your eyes filling with tears as you buried your head in his shoulder, “Renjun we’re not even married!”

“Shh, angel, it’s not like she hates you, is it? And we’ll get through it together,” he hummed, “I promise.”

Renjun sighed as you started to sob, rubbing your back comfortingly, “Y/N, I’m right here, I always will be. Stop being so negative, okay? I’m happy! I’m so happy! You should be too!”

“Really?” you sniffled, “you are?”

“Y/N,” Renjun spoke, his arms resting on your shoulders as you looked up at him with teary eyes, “you. Carrying my child. I couldn’t love you more right now, and our baby.”

You smiled, putting your hands on Renjun’s cheeks, running one through his hair, “I love you too.”

“D-Do you know how far along you are?” Renjun asked, sniffling slightly.

You shook your head, “that’s why they just asked me to schedule an appointment.”

“C-Can I come too?” Renjun asked.

You chuckled, “it’s your child too! Why would you even ask that?!”

Friday 9th August, 2024

“Ah, okay, I think we’re done for today,” Mark breathed, “well done guys!”

“Well done today,” Chenle exclaimed, the other five boys clapping and wishing each other well.

“Ah, I’m so tired,” Renjun said, trying to catch his breath as he sat at the side, downing his water.

“You’re telling me,” Jaemin sighed, “though I can’t wait to go home and see my Areum-ie!”

“How long until baby 2?” Jeno asked, “not long now, right?”

“5 months,” Jaemin nodded, chuckling nervously, “and Areum’s more excited than anyone.”

Renjun chuckled, “how’s your girlfriend now? Y/N’s only a few weeks but she just has so many cravings. I had to go and get vegetables at midnight the other day!”

“What?” Chenle asked.

“Hyung,” Jisung laughed, “are you serious?”

“Wha– ah! No! I ruined it!” Renjun exclaimed, “ah Y/N’s planning this whole dinner to announce it! You’re gonna have to act surprised when she announces it, okay?”

“Renjun, how couldn’t you have told us first!” Donghyuck exclaimed, shoving his friend.

“We’re your best friends, you little–“ Jaemin exclaimed, laughing.

“Congratulations, though,” Jeno smiled, “but you and Y/N aren’t married, what does your mum think?”

Renjun sighed, “that��s the problem.”

“Ah,” Mark sighed, “but you and Y/N are happy, right?”

“Of course, why would you ask that!” Donghyuck exclaimed, “Renjun looks at Y/N like she created the entire world!”

“Ya!” Renjun exclaimed, trying to hide his blush.

“Come on, we should go,” Jeno said, “especially lover boys over here, with their darling kids.”

Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Jaemin sighed, slinging his arm over Renjun’s shoulder, “you get used to it after a while.”

28th November, 2024

“Hi Mum,” Renjun sighed, “yeah, I’m alright. You? No! No, I’m fine. Yes, Y/N’s alright as well, we’re just as we always are.”

You rolled your eyes next to him and he hit your leg.

“You’d what?!” Renjun exclaimed, sitting up suddenly at his mum’s words.

“What? What?!” you mouthed.

“No, no, that- that’s fine, we’ll do dinner,” Renjun nodded, “yeah see you then, thanks mum.”

The phone line went dead and you scrambled to sit behind your boyfriend as he sat at the end of the bed.

“What is it?”

“My mum’s coming for Christmas,” Renjun sighed, taking your hand, “we’re going to have to tell her. God why haven’t we told her already?! Who thought this was a good idea!”

“Well no offence but you just said she could come for Christmas.”

“Y/N!”

20th December, 2024

“Mum! Dad!” Renjun exclaimed, pulling his mum into a hug, “it’s so great to see you.”

“Ah, Renjun, my son! I’ve missed you!” his mum exclaimed.

“It’s so good to see you again,” his dad smiled, pulling his son into a hug, “and I hear you’ve got some news for us?”

“Yes! Yeah, um, first shall I take your bags upstairs? Y/N’s just in the kitchen, food will be ready soon,” Renjun said.

“Oh, I’ll go and say hi to Y/N then,” his mum smiled.

“No!” Renjun exclaimed, conscious of your six-month-pregnant stomach, exposing your news, “come up and see your room. It’s all re-decorated!”

“Oh, okay then,” she laughed, following after her son and her husband.

Renjun breathed a sigh of relief, going and putting his parents’ suitcases in the spare room, showing it to them, along with the en-suite, and his own bedroom, which he shared with yours. And which he completely forgot came with an unassembled bassenette, and various other baby items. in the corner of it.

“What’s that?” his mum asked nosely, “is that a box for a cot?”

“Um, no! No! It’s just Christmas packages in... in old boxes?” Renjun tried.

“New for 2024?” his dad read off the side of the box.

Renjun sighed, shaking his head, “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I tried to hide it, I have to tell you guys now anyway.”

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she?!” his mum asked, “Y/N. You got her pregnant.”

“Mum!” Renjun exclaimed.

“Well have you proposed?” his dad asked, “you can’t have a child without being married, you know.”

“Imagine how upset your grandma’s going to be when she finds out that you’re having a bastard child with a non-Chinese woman!” his mum ranted.

“Well, you know, Renjun, there are other options,” his dad said.

“Mum! Dad! Stop it!” Renjun exclaimed, “yes, Y/N’s pregnant, and even though it wasn’t a decision, I’ve decided to stick by my girlfriend and my son! I’m sorry if you don’t like that! But I love them both more than anything, ever!”

Renjun’s voice began to crack as he felt tears fall, “why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Oh, Junnie,” his mum cooed, “are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes! Yes! I love them so much, mum! You should see Y/N, even when she’s all big and pregnant she looks the most beautiful she’s ever looked and I just wish that you two could—“

“How far along is she, duck?” his mum asked, her voice and face kind as she held his arm gently.

“27 weeks,” Renjun said, “and I’ve got photos of him– do– do you want to see your grandson?”

“We’d like to greet Y/N as well,” his mum said, nodding.

His dad nodded, “Jun, we’re sorry. This is just very shocking, you know? You’ve gone and grown up without us being here and it’s hard.”

“You’ll know soon, though,” his mum chuckled, running a hand through her son’s hair, “when you’re a dad.”

“Mum, don’t cry,” Renjun chuckled, “come on, we’ll go and say hi to Y/N.”

They nodded, his dad speaking up, “yeah, I think we’re ready now. And for those photos of our grandson?”

Renjun’s heart swelled at those words, “they’re stuck on the fridge, don’t worry.”

The three walked down the stairs, Renjun leading the way into the kitchen where you were just taking off your oven gloves, the dinner you were cooking now all done.

You smiled, mouthing to your boyfriend, “okay?”

He smiled back, nodding, “mum, dad, meet your grandson.”

You chuckled, placing your hands on your bump, “I’m sure if you talk, he’ll move.”

Renjun’s mum’s eyes filled with tears as she pulled you into a hug, “I’m sorry for doubting you two, oh, Y/N, you look so beautiful.”

Renjun smiled as his dad wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I told you so. Ah, wait, here, look at his photo.”

#nct #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #dad!nct #dad!nct dream #huang renjun #huang renjun scenarios #huang renjun imagines #huang renjun fluff #dad!huang renjun #dad!renjun #huang changming #sm #sm entertainment #kpop #dad!series #nct kids

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mallorytaylorblog · 3 years

Text

Asking for help, struggling to receive it.

31st March, 2021.

I started writing this post on 19th February and it’s taken me until now to revisit it. And everything I wrote just wasn’t quite right.

The reason for that is I like to write when I’m going through something, while the pain, desire to be better, and the lessons are fresh - literally, while I’m moving through it. I write to organise my thoughts and to gain further clarity on my conditioning and state of mind when I read it back a few days or weeks later, and also to provide insight into my train of thought in the hope that it will give others who relate a sense of relief; that they’re not alone in how they feel whilst going through something similar. It’s a self growth tool I like to employ, but sometimes it doesn’t always work because I can get too caught in the pain and the desire to grow escapes me. So I stop writing.

What I was originally writing about detailed a recent period of about a month where I was stuck in a habit of waking up, playing video games, napping and eating, rarely moving from the couch, then going to bed with an overwhelming sense of disappointment. My self worth had taken a hit, and these new habits had me wondering where my productivity, energy and zest for life had disappeared to. Every night, it was, “Okay, I’ll be productive tomorrow”, and I’d create a mental action list before I hit the pillow. And every morning I’d wake up and head straight to the couch, telling myself I’d only play video games for an hour, “then I’ll be productive”. I’ll let you guess how that turned out.

I felt horrible about my situation, knowing I put myself there. All the choices I’d made up until that point had culminated in my self imposed isolation. It wasn’t until difficult conversations around my financial and emotional states couldn’t be avoided that I knew I had to take action. My low self worth and apathy toward changing my situation had started to affect others, so I couldn’t ignore the way I felt any more. I had to ask for help.

I’ve reflected on my struggle to ask for help before, having felt that my emotional needs not being met as child meant that I wasn’t important enough or worthy of help, or that I was burdensome for advocating for myself. I learned to be resourceful and asking for help didn’t fit into my learned independence. I’m getting much better at it, so I’m proud of the fact that I could muster the courage to text the group chat and ask my girlfriends if anyone was free for a phone call, as I was having a hard time. And even as I hit send on that message I was immediately flooded with doubts.

“You’ll be left on read. No one’s going to reply.” “Everyone is too busy with their own shit to help you with yours.” “These women are mothers, business owners and entrepreneurs! And you want to bother them because you can’t stop playing video games? Grow up.” “They’re rolling their eyes and laughing at you. Stop being such a loser!”

Conditioning and limiting beliefs can be powerful. This is the subconscious mind at play here. These thoughts stem from a belief that my authenticity isn’t enough to be accepted. Except I know that I am exactly who I am meant to be, and that has always been good enough. Consciously, I know this, but the conscious mind isn’t what’s running the show - our subconscious is. So this hidden script, this belief that my cells have embodied to be “true” is what’s in the driver’s seat. And the way we change that script is by showing ourselves through action that there is another way; by proving the belief wrong.

As a kid I had to learn how to soothe myself when I was emotional because not only was emotional literacy never modelled for me, I felt that it wasn’t safe to express my emotions around my family. So if I didn’t bottle them up, I learned other ways to express them - some healthy (music, sports, art), and others not so much. My desire to be accepted turned me into a people pleaser, eager to dissolve any part of my personality that could be deemed “bothersome” or “disappointing” just so I would be liked and included. But my lack of emotional regulation made me volatile and my inability to express myself made me depressed. The first thing that made me realise I could change this idea that I absolutely had to be independent at all costs came when I made some friends who truly accepted me as I was. They made it safe for me to open up because they valued authenticity and communication. And it was really hard for me at first - warmth and a desire to listen were not the usual responses to my crying or frustration, so it felt alien and scary. I didn’t have a handle on my emotions so they were extreme and explosive at times. But they held me in that space, and they listened to me without judgement. They asked me questions that helped me explore the way I was feeling and didn’t leave when I got too “difficult”. They allowed the emotional charge within my cells to diffuse in a controlled way, enough to give me a glimpse of what it would be like to be totally held and safe in all my sadness and rage. These friends made it safe for me to be. And the more I open up to these friends the more they show me, time and time again, that it’s okay to be exactly who I am. That I am whole, and loved, and respected, and wonderful - exactly as I am.

It wasn’t easy for me to ask for help that day. The voice in my head telling me to delete the message and figure this problem out for myself was pretty loud, but my desire to move through and transform this belief was stronger. And I’m so glad I asked. I received the quality time from loved ones that I wouldn’t have been able to give myself, alone in my shame hole.

I’m getting much better at admitting when I need help even if I am a bit slow at times. Now that I know I have safe people to turn to, my focus is on accepting the help I ask for. This ability to receive doesn’t start and stop with advice and guidance. It affects every part of my life - my ability to receive pleasure, compliments, gifts, criticism, other peoples sadness and rage - it’s something I know is is encapsulated in the “Self Worth” bubble. Getting comfortable with receiving is something I invite and work on every day. It makes sense to be able to receive something once you’ve asked for it! I’m not about to cock block my own pleasure.

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jiaraweek · 4 years

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✶ JIARA JULY 2020 MASTERLIST ✶

hello everyone! this is the masterlist for all fics posted during the week of jiara july. we’ll be periodically updating it each day with any fics posted under the tag ‘jiara july’ on tumblr or ao3, but please let us know if we miss anything/you want your fic to be added! thank you in advance to all the talented writers who are participating, we can’t wait to read what you’ve come up with!

DAY 1 - July 26th, 2020

PRECANON DAY

i'm so high at the moment, i'm so caught up in this (we're just young, dumb and broke but we still got love to give) by @hvitstark / RoseOf Winterfell on ao3

A totally plausible but not entirely probable speculation of Kie’s kook year and JJ’s part in it.

oneshot | 8K | angst | read it here

here to stay by @interstellarbeams

JJ has a small circle of trust, the Pogues, until Kiara breaks her way in.

oneshot | 2.3K | angst/hurt/comfort | read it here

pretty hot for a pogue by @hmsjiara / someoneyouloved on ao3

jj and rafe have a history, and kiara carrera just happens to be at the center of it.

oneshot | 6.7K | angst/hurt/comfort | read it here

nothin' lasts forever (we both know hearts can change) by @maybankiara

in which jj decides to take his chances with kiara the summer before they go to different high schools, which possibly ruins their friendship (and by an extension, the pogues’).

oneshot | 5.3K | angst | read it here

another day by capulets on ao3

a look at jj and kiara’s relationship from the very beginning.

oneshot | 2.6K | angst | read it here

new message by @routledges

glimpses into the pogues' group chat as kiara heads off to kook academy, and the messages exchanged between jj and kiara as her struggles don't go unnoticed.

oneshot | 1.8K | light angst/fluff | read it here

you drew stars around my scars by @coconutroseowl

after a hard betrayal from her best friend, kiara becomes intrigued with the code of friendship a certain group of boys have after jj helps her feel better.

oneshot | 2.2K | hurt/comfort | read it here

What if... (Secrets are dug in the best friends' back yard?) by TiggerUsername on ao3

What if JJ and Kiara have been keeping a massive secret from the Pogues? What if JJ and Kiara were a lot closer than anyone had expected during Kiara's Kook year?

oneshot | 7.5K | romance/angst | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 2 - July 27th, 2020

ACTIVIY DAY

fingertips puttin' on a show, got me now and I can't say no (i already know that there ain't no stoppin’ your plans and those slow hands) by @hvitstark / RoseOfWinterfell on ao3

JJ and Kie spend the morning with their kids... And trying to make a new one.

oneshot | 2.8K | romance/fluff | read it here

sea salt and grime (can’t believe that you’re mine) by @hmsjiara / someoneyouloved on ao3

jj and kiara fix up a bike together, and jj realizes they may have more in common than he thought.

oneshot | 5.5K | fluff/light angst | read it here

What if... (Baking is for lovers)? by TiggerUsername on ao3

A baking class for idiots inevitably escalates because of the hopeless couple that is JJ and Kiara.

oneshot | 3.3K | romance/fluff | read it here

invisible string by @alphinias

She weaved him bracelets as surely as they weaved memories together.

oneshot | 4.1K | fluff | read it here

i'll be there 'til the stars don't shine by @maybankiara

in which the pogues throw a kegger, and jj keeps getting distracted by the feelings he might have for one of his closest friends.

oneshot | 3.9K | angst/romance | read it here

just as i reach out to touch you (i remind myself you were meant to fly) by @interstellarbeams

JJ’s childhood memory of chasing fireflies has been tainted by his mother’s disappearance, but his friends help remind him what it’s like to be a kid again.

oneshot | 3.7k | fluff/hurt/comfort | read it here

that’s the thing about illicit affairs by @coconutroseowl

a day’s surfing with her best friend sparks unknown and unwanted feelings in kiara.

oneshot | 2.6K | angst | read it here

kiss the girl by capulets on ao3

some traditions are meant to be broken. apparently, the sanctity of movie night isn’t one of them.

oneshot | 1.5K | fluff | read it here

sunday’s by jiaras on ao3

Sundays were for JJ and Kiara. Since they became official three years ago, it was a known fact — ''I can’t, it’s Sunday'' or ''oh, maybe next week? Just not tomorrow, it’s Sunday'' had been more than overused by them both, until everyone seemed to catch on and stop asking all together.

oneshot | 4.8K | fluff/smut | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 3 - July 28th, 2020

AU DAY

two worlds collided (and they could never tear us apart) by @rcsales

Kiara is tired of fancy parties at Sarah’s house; tired of rich self-centered people who only talk about how much money they're making. When she bumps into one of the waiters, her night gets a little more fun, whether she wants to admit it or not.

multichapter | 3.6K | romance/fluff | read it here

i see the sunrise getting high, i wish i was next to you by @hvitstark / RoseOfWinterfell on ao3

jiara band AU

oneshot | 5.2K | fluff/angst | read it here

i had a few (got drunk on you) by @interstellarbeams

Kiara is a student at bartender school and JJ is helping her practice (when he isn’t hindering her by drinking all the liquor).

oneshot | 7.6K | romance/fluff | read it here

no judgement zone by @noellesthings

jiara mythical AU

oneshot | 2K | angst | read it here

What if... (A beating heart is just a ticking timer)? by TiggerUsername on ao3

Everyone in Outer Banks has a soulmate. On their wrist is a ticking timer that is counting down to the second where the person meets their soulmate. The Universe makes sure that the two soulmates don't miss each other.

oneshot | 12.4K | angst/romance | read it here

this dream isn’t feeling sweet by @rae-of-fricking-sunshine

the scorpio race au

multichapter | 10.7K | read it here

monkshood and wolfsbane by @alphinias

JJ and Kiara go through seven years of Hogwarts together. They don't really like each other, until they do.

multichapter | 8.5K | romance/angst/fluff | read it here

war of hearts by capulets on ao3

kiara falls in love with jj. over and over and over again. the reincarnation au literally nobody asked for.

multichapter | 6.6K | romance/angst | read it here

let's get together (before we get much older) by jiaras on ao3

jiara college AU

oneshot | 7.5K | romance/fluff/smut | read it here

cause all’s fair in love and war by @hmsjiara / someoneyouloved on ao3

the percy jackson AU where jj and kiara really, really hate each other... until they don’t.

multichapter | 9.5K | romance/angst | read it here

this world seems beautiful when i'm with you by @maddieandherships

JJ, Pope and John B were alone in this world-a world crawling with dead people that would kill anything that had a heartbeat. It wasn't until they stumble upon a small community of survivors is where they finally feel they have a purpose, to survive.

multichapter | 5.9K | romance/angst | read it here

i have come to save the day by @maybankiara

in which jj is a postman and kiara is his favourite receptionist (alternatively, 4 times kiara didn't know jj's name and the one time she did).

oneshot | 5K | fluff | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 4 - July 29th, 2020

DESTINATION DAY

better date than never by @alphinias

Kiara is sick of her mom badgering her about the single groomsmen at her cousin's wedding, so obviously, taking JJ as her date is the perfect solution. It won't be complicated. Not at all.

oneshot | 22.6K | romance/angst | read it here

you're the only friend I need (sharing beds like little kids) by jiaras on ao3

in which JJ and Kiara take their three kids on a road trip to the lake house.

oneshot | 3.6K | fluff | read it here

tell me when you’re falling (can you hear me calling?) by capulets on ao3

being in love with your best friend makes vacationing pretty inconvenient. luckily for kiara, said best friend will never suspect a thing.

oneshot | 3.3K | fluff/romance | read it here

and if my wishes came true (it would’ve been you) by @hmsjiara / someoneyouloved on ao3

the one where jj and kiara go on a road trip together and do a miserable job of pretending they’re not two idiots in love

oneshot | 7K | angst/fluff/smut | read it here

i don’t want to miss a thing by @maybankiara

in which jj drives kiara off to college, and he's not completely okay with that.

oneshot | 2.2K | fluff/light angst | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 5 - July 30th, 2020

5 + 1 DAY

bare necessities by @rae-of-fricking-sunshine

the five times they were unintentionally undressed, and the one time they weren't

oneshot | 10.6K | fluff | read it here

I can’t believe that it’s finally me and you and you and me, just us (and our friends) by @hvitstark / RoseOfWinterfell on ao3

4 times John B and Pope interupt JJ and Kiara's alone time. And the 1 time they get to be alone.

oneshot | 11.6K | fluff/smut | read it here

if we were meant to be, we would've been by now by @alphinias

five times JJ was jealous, and one time he didn't have to be

oneshot | 12K | angst/romance | read it here

every piece of you by @interstellarbeams

Five places that Kie hadn’t expected to be intimate when kissed and one place she does.

oneshot | 13.2K | fluff/romance | read it here

it wasn’t special til i met you by capulets on ao3

the four times kiara lets jj braid her hair and the one time she doesn’t.

oneshot | 3.2K | fluff/light angst | read it here

friends are something that we were (before me sleeping in your shirt) by jiaras on ao3

the five times JJ and Kiara pretended to be a couple, and the one time they were

oneshot | 10K | romance/smut | read it here

What if... (slow and steady wins the race)? by TiggerUsername on ao3

the four times that JJ and Kiara are nearly caught and the one time where secrets become too much.

oneshot | 11K | romance/smut | read it here

i don’t wanna be your friend (i wanna kiss your lips) by @hmsjiara / someoneyouloved on ao3

the five times kiara thinks about kissing jj, and the one time she finally does it.

oneshot | 12.4K | angst/romance | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 6 - July 31st, 2020

FIRSTS DAY

i lost myself between your legs (oh the habits of my heart, i can't say no) by @hvitstark / RoseOfWinterfell on ao3

Kie ask JJ to be her first. Because she trusts him. No other reason. JJ agrees. Because he's a good friend. No other reason.

oneshot | 10.8K | romance/smut | read it here

you and i (on the fly) by capulets on ao3

jj takes kie out on his bike for the first time and realizes just how fucked he is.

oneshot | 2.9K | fluff | read it here

august slipped away (into a moment in time) by jiaras on ao3

Kiara is going off to college soon, and JJ is staying in Outer Banks.

They decide to practice being away from each other for a day, for the first time ever.

oneshot | 6K | comfort/angst | read it here

What if... (It's only three words, eight letters)? by TiggerUsername on ao3

JJ has had a lot of firsts in his life. But none of them compare to Kiara. They are eighteen when Kiara tells JJ to man up and make a move. Together they realise that firsts can be repeated. There is one first however that changes everything. Because neither of them have heard those three words, eight letter before.

oneshot | 7.3K | angst/hurt/comfort | read it here

✦ ✧ ✦

DAY 7 - August 1st, 2020

FREE/GENRE DAY

Aetea (still searching for a reason, why is it so hard to find one) by @anxietyismyspiritanimal / yawning_inF on ao3

All hell breaks loose when JJ returns 'home' for the first time after John B's disappearance.. Luckily for him, Kiara would have never let him go in the mouth of the wolf alone.

multichapter | 1.7K | angst | read it here

#jiara july

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quentinxdelancret · 3 years

Text

Happy New Year. Or not! || Aarotin ♥

Discord thread featuring: Quentin and Aaron @aaronhart93

When: December 31st 2020 into January 1st 2021

Mentions: Roman Beckett @romanbeckett

Description: Aaron and Quentin go to the rooftop at Club Delilah to watch the ball drop. Aaron confesses his love to Quentin and he has a slight meltdown.

Trigger Warnings: Soft Nsfw!! PTSD!

Aaron The literal only reason Aaron was out tonight was because this was his own club. Clubs on New Years Eve were typically an absolutely fucking disaster. But, of course, Aaron made sure he treated himself and his friends to a VIP room and bottle service. He was having an amazing night in general, but he specifically couldn’t get enough of Quentin. Obviously. He was so in love with the barista, he was tied to his hips the entire night. He wasn’t even that drunk (most because he knew that if he were to get drunk well before midnight, he wouldn’t make it to the ball drop) ...but he was having so much fun with Q. His set at Polaris was amazing (he even met Troye Sivan) and they hopped right over to Club Delilah for the ball drop. There was a lot happening around them, and Aaron really just wanted to get Q alone. He dragged the younger male up into his gorgeous office and immediately pulled the other male in for a kiss. “You were so amazing tonight.” He whispered, gripping onto his waist to pull him into him.

Quentin. Anyone who really knew Quentin, knew this was the hardest day of the year for him. He always tried his best to keep himself distracted non the less, and Aaron Hart, was definitely the best kind of distraction. Not to mention he had just played the best set of his life with his best friend Romie, and got to meet Troye fucking Sivan. This was actually turning out to be one of the best nights of his life. His excitement only growing to max levels as they continued the party on at Club Delilah. Quentin was already pretty buzzed considering he didn’t want to think about anything other than tonight. But when he was dragged to Aaron’s office he could feel his adrenaline really start to kick in. Which lets be honest, it was already pumping pretty hard from performing, and now he thought he might just combust. He let the business man pull him closer and a wide slightly intoxicated smile spread across his face. His heart was beating so loud but the room felt still and quiet. Even with all the noise going on around them, just looking into Aaron’s eyes calmed the static. “Thank you, baby” he whispered back. Not really sure why he was whispering, but he couldn’t help it. “I had so much fun up there... and Troye.. he was mind blowing wasn’t he?” He pressed his forehead to his lovers and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Hooking his hands together behind Aaron’s neck as he rubbed their noses together like the adorable little shit he constantly could be. “I’m so glad you were there. Here. With me” he giggled. Dragging his teeth across his bottom lip before speaking again. “No ones as mind blowing as you are though. You look so hot tonight.”

Aaron Aaron felt his cheeks flush a little bit as he listened to Quentin speak. His heart just could stop beating, and the blood was going straight to his cheeks...and to his dick. Maybe some New Years sex was in order after the ball finally did drop. Aaron had only checked the time a few minutes ago and they still had a few minutes until the new year. Aaron pressed his fore head to his man’s and nuzzled their noses together for a brief moment. “Yeah, Troye was great. But you...” He paused to think of the right word to describe it. “You were amazing. Better even. But I’m biased.” He let out an airy chuckle and smiled at his softly. He heart swelled when Q wrapped his arms around his neck like that. He was so fucking happy whenever he was around the younger male. Seriously. He could be having the actual worst day of his life and being around Q could make him forget about it all. “I’m glad to be here with you too. I’m so happy. You make me so happy.” He admitted, though, he knew it was more than that. It was deeper with Quentin. Quentin did more than just make him happy. At this point, he wasn’t sure if he could even live without Quentin. “Are we staying in here for the ball drop or going back out to celebrate with everyone?” He asked softly, kissing his again sweetly in hopes that that would convince him to make him stay in here with him.

Quentin. His smile only grew wider as Aaron spoke and his cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink. Sure, maybe Aaron was a bit biased. But the compliment made his heart sore anyway. “You’re too sweet to me. I tell you this all the time” he giggled. His tone was light and playful, but in all actuality he really just wanted to ravish this man right here, right now! There was just something about being close to Aaron like this that made him want to melt his entire body straight into his skin. To become one with him. He couldn’t help it. It was like he could never get close enough, even if they were pressed skin to skin. He needed to feel him molded inside of him like he needed air to breathe. The business mans following words only making that need more intense as he tightened his arms around his neck. “You make me so happy too baby” he said honestly. His eyes fluttering shut as he leaned in to brush his lips against Aaron’s. “Oh, you know I’d love to stay right here” he grinned against his lovers mouth. But you know what would be really hot?” He asked. Not even bothering to open his eyes. “If I took you to the roof and let you watch the ball drop across the city while I suck your cock.” With those words he pressed a soft kiss to Aaron’s lips. “But it is pretty cold. So maybe that’s not the best idea” he chuckled. Kissing him again this time a bit more heatedly.

Aaron Aaron hummed contently. “It’s impossible not to be sweet on you. I...” He paused, heart stopped for a brief moment before he snapped back into reality. He really almost said it right then and there. It just felt so right. Why was he stopping himself. Aaron raised his brow at Quentin’s suggestion. Now that was an idea. He opened his mouth to speak, but Q stopped him when he placed a passionate kiss onto his lips. Aaron intensely kissed the other male back and pulled him in tightly, pressing their hips together hungrily. He certainly wasn’t going to stop this from happening. After several moments, the millionaire pulled away only slightly and nodded his head at the pile of coats that his friends had left in his office. “There’s an amazing view of the city on the roof. And we can see the ball drop in the park from there.” He rasped, a smirk appearing on his face. It was like going up to the roof was their little secret. And in a way it was. Aaron knew that their friends were probably wondering where they were. But honestly? Quentin was the only person he really cared about right now. “Come on.” He tossed his coat him and put on his own. Grabbing the other’s hand, he lead the younger male up the elevator and to the rooftop. It was a bit brisk, but this was fucking romantic so it was really the last thing that Aaron was thinking about right now. “See.” He said, dragging Q over to the railing at the edge of the roof. He pointed to the park where a whole crowd of people could be seen. The cold air pricked at his face as he looked over at Q’s side profile. God. He was fucking stunning. Perfect actually. Inside and out. That was it. This had to be it. At this point, he just couldn’t keep it in anymore. Like he was about to throw those three words up. “Hey. Look at me.” He instructed.

Quentin. I swear to go, Aaron always knew exactly what to say to set his heart on fire. It was impossible for him to not love this man. Even though, to be quite honest, he had been trying to turn it off since his confession. He didn’t wanna be too much for Aaron, not ever, and truthfully, whether they were official or not he was perfectly happy with whatever they were. But right now, kissing him like this. He was completely smitten. So much so that he actually let out a soft whine when the business man pulled away. His pout didn’t last long though, as his lips curved into another giddy smile. “Really?” he almost squealed with excitement. He always wanted to do this. To see the ball drop from the rooftop. It was such a romantic thing to do, and doing it with Aaron? He felt like he could actually burst right here in this moment. He got his coat on quickly and let Aaron lead him to the roof. His eyes widening with wonder and excitement as he looked out across the city. This was breath taking, Aaron was breath taking. Q literally felt like he could float right off this rooftop and never come back down again. “This is so beautiful. It’s perfect! So perfect” he beamed. Spreading his arms wide and spinning in a few clumsy circles before gripping onto the railing again. The cold air was stinging his face and making his eyes water but he didn’t care. This was the perfect moment, and when Aaron told him to look at him, he did so instantly. “You.... thank you. I love this” he expressed with so much love. His hands moving to the sides of Aaron’s neck before he leaned in to place a soft peck on his lips.

Aaron Quentin was such a free spirit and it was so fucking endearing it made Aaron smiled like a fucking idiot too. Did Quentin even know he could make Aaron do that? “It is beautiful. You’re beautiful.” He smiled lightly. That was cornet as hell. But like. He was absolutely stunning. He looked at Quentin for a few moments and wrapped his arms around his waist to squeeze his sides. He smiled on Q’s lips when he leaned in to peck him. He pulled him back in for another kiss, this time I pressed their lips together for a bit longer and sunk into him. “I love you.” He whispered, as he heard the countdown begin in the park a couple of blocks away from them. He pulled back to look over at the other male. “And this time I promise I won’t act like I didn’t say it.” He took a deep breath and reached to cup his cheeks with both hands. “I’m sorry I’ve been so reluctant to tell you how I’ve felt. That wasn’t fair to leave you wondering like that. I..” he smiled at him, blue eyes meeting. “I do love you, Q.” His voice quaked. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m so scared that I’ll fuck it up and hurt you.” He admitted, biting down on his bottom lip. That was probably the most honest Aaron had been with Quentin...ever. He could feel his heart beating against his rib cage and his cheeks flushing.

Quentin. Quentin could feel himself melting right into Aaron’s soft lips as he pulled him in for another kiss. This had to be the most perfect moment Quentin had every experienced with Aaron. But he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was letting himself fall in too deep. Maybe he was, because he could have swore he just heard Aaron tell him he loved him. The shouting of numbers echoed in the background as Aaron pulled back, the lights twinkling in his blue eyes as Q just stood there falling into them. He could literally feel his heart stop beating for a moment and his eyes stung as they began to tear up again. Oh my God, what was happening right now? All he could feel was the warmth radiating from Aaron’s hands right into his cheeks, and his lips parted as he spoke. It was almost like he wanted to stop him, but he didn’t. Was he being serious? He couldn’t be serious. He knew what this day was for Quentin and he wouldn’t just say that to make him feel better, right? So many things were spinning through his head and he moved his hands to rest over top of Aaron’s in attempt to steady himself. “Aaron..” he breathed out, obviously taken back by what he had just confessed. “Don’t.” The word just fell from his lips like he couldn’t even speak for himself anymore. “You don’t have to do that. Don’t do that” he spoke again. Taking a step back from the business man as his eyes trailed all over his face trying to read him. “You can’t say that to me. Why... just stop.” His words were so obviously hesitant, and it was clear he was overwhelmed. But Q never let anyone see him break. He tried so hard to act tough and unphased by anything too personal. But he was most definitely phased and it showed. “I don’t want your pity Aaron” he spoke again. His eyes glossing over with tears as he turned his head to look at the ball dropping. The sounds of loud popper going off in the background causing his eyes to squint as he coward down and placed his hands over his ears. What was going on right now? Where was Roman? He needed Roman. He took another step back and shook his head as he looked at Aaron. He couldn’t even think straight right now and all he wanted to do was run away.

Aaron Aarons smile faded almost as quickly as it appeared. His heart sank to his stomach and he literally felt like he was going to throw up. He hadn’t really thought about what this was for Quentin right now. He was just so caught up in the moment — he didn’t think about how his words would affect the younger male. If anything, he thought that it would make him happy. Happier at least. His eyes fell and he stepped back from the barista, letting his hands fall to his sides. He wasn’t even sure what to say. He wasn’t pitying Q. What? Aaron was hurt to say the least. Confused. Shocked. “Qu...Quentin...I’m not...what? No!” He felt his throat tighten because now he was just embarrassed for getting so upset like that. He crossed his arms over his chest because for some reason he thought that would protect him from feeling anymore hurt. Well...this was one of the things Aaron was afraid of. Rejection. Getting hurt. Showing emotion. He didn’t do it often for reasons like that. He was guarded. But could you blame the man? He’d been through a lot with his dad who had taught him that things like this weren’t okay. Now he could tell that something had triggered Quentin. Oh my god. He’d really fucked up. Hadn’t he? Not only was Aaron hurt, but now he’d hurt Quentin too which was exactly what he was afraid. “I-I’m sorry.” He choked out. How was he supposed to help him? What was he supposed to say?

Quentin. The worst part of whatever was going on right now, was the look on Aaron’s face. He could tell he hurt him, and that was just making him feel worse. Of course he loved Aaron, and he wanted Aaron to say he loved him too. But now he was not only getting exactly what he wanted, he was fucking it up. He uncovered his ears and reached his hand out for Aaron’s. But they were too far apart now and he felt like he was only drifting further and further. “I’m sorry” he whispered with a shaky breath. Not even sure if the business man could hear him or not. His tears were stinging his eyes so bad he could barely keep them open. But he was afraid if he closed them Aaron would just disappear. “I... I don’t know what’s happening” he mumbled. “You don’t love me. You don’t have to say you love me. It’s okay, you don’t have to say that. I should just.. I should go.” He wanted to run straight into Aaron’s arms and wedge himself into his coat. But he couldn’t. He could barely move. What did he just do? He loved this man so much, and all he could think clearly about was how badly he wished Roman would come save him.

Aaron Aaron could tell that there was a lot going on inside of the other male’s head. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling, but he knew that Q was hurting. Truthfully, right now so was Aaron. He looked down as Q reached for him but that distance between them was more than just physical different at this point. The pit in his stomach was getting bigger and bigger by the second. “I...yes I do, Quentin.” This was Aaron’s fault. If he would have just been more honest about his feeling in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this position right now. He wouldn’t be making Quentin feel this way. “I’m sorry. Please don’t go.” He begged, now stepping towards him and grabbing onto his hand. He didn’t grab on tightly because it was up to Q if he wanted to stay or not. But Aaron just...really wanted him to stay. “I love you. Please.” He begged, his eyes pleading.

Quentin. It seemed like the whole city had fallen quiet as Aaron confessed his love again. It was like the entire world was spinning out of control around them as they stood there lost, starring into one anothers eyes completely bare. Quentin could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage in a desperation to be released. But he was scared. All he could think about now was how his parents told him they loved him. They sent him to bed and then pop pop pop. What if he did believe Aaron loved him? What if he really was in love with him? And then he was just gone in a pop too. This was something that normally wouldn’t factor in to a moment like this. But, tonight of all nights. Why did it have to be tonight? The begging tone of Aaron’s voice nearly ripping him apart as he struggled himself with what to do. “I...” he went to speak again but was suddenly cut off by the sounds of fireworks exploding over the city. He closed his eyes tightly, ringing out any last tears that lingered behind and moved closer to the business man. “Just shut up” he said in a bit more of a dominating tone then he ever used before. Frankly, he was talking to the forewords but right now that hardly mattered. He pushed Aaron back against the railing on the rooftop and opened his eyes to gaze straight into his. There was such an intensity burning through him as his hands moved to Aaron’s belt buckle to get it undone. “Just... don’t speak” he said this time a lot softer. Dropping to his knees in front of his lover to yank his pants down. This is what he did. Things got to real and he got overwhelmed, so he would express himself through sex. Did Aaron want this? He wasn’t sure if he still did. But when he looked back up at the business man, all he could say was. “I love you too.”

Aaron Aaron could tell that there was plenty of noise going on around them, but he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else except him and Q right now. Aaron was devastated. This was definitely not the reaction he was expecting from the young musician. This was what Aaron got though. For holding his feelings in for so long. Of course Quentin was confused. Aaron had held back for so long. He’d told Quentin not to love him and shut down as soon as the conversation got serious. It was all Aaron’s fault. What happened next was something he was certainly wasn’t expecting, but when he thought about it...it just made sense. Aaron was nearly the same way. They solved their problems with sex. Blame their trauma maybe. Aaron froze for a moment. What the hell was going on? Quentin was getting on his knees for Aaron. But why? He seemed to be having some type of mental breakdown, and he certainly wasn’t in the right headspace to be giving Aaron head. Aaron didn’t what their relationship to be just about sex anymore. He wanted more with him. He hesitated for a moment because boy did he want to fuck his mouth. But something was very, very wrong. “Quen. No...Get up.” The businessman pulled his pants up quickly and pulled Quentin up by his hands. “What the hell, Quentin?” He asked, brows furrowed and face twisted with confusion. “That’s not what I want right now.” He was breathing deeply now because he heart was beating so damn fast. He was...nervous on top of several other emotions he was feeling right now.

Quentin. There was a lot of static going on inside of Quentin’s head. He was having trouble deciphering right from wrong right now, but of course he was going to go with the wrong. This was how he protected himself. Make yourself into whatever they want you to be. Say what they wanna hear. But that wasn’t what was going on here. Not to mention he was quite literally having a panic attack in front of this man. Aaron pulled him back to his feet and pulled up his pants, and Q was left dumbfounded. “I... I don’t know. I thought that’s what you wanted” he said, not even sure if that’s really what he thought at all. “You told me not to love you. Now you wanna love me? I don’t think you even know what love is” he spat. Clearly only going off because he was embarrassed. “I’m just gonna go. Fuck this” he choked out. Taking a few steps back before fully turning around and heading back to the exit.

Aaron The businessman stared at Quentin with wide eyes as he spoke to him. His jaw was dropped slightly because he was truly confused and shocked that Quentin was saying this to him. He was not expecting this reaction at all. This could have been so perfect and romantic, but instead this was the worst night Aaron had had in a while. “I know. I wasn’t ready...it was stupid. I’m sorry...” Aaron’s breath hitched when Quentin told him that he didn’t even know what love was. He certainly loved his daughter more than anything in the entire world. That was love and he knew it. But maybe Quentin was right. Maybe he didn’t know what this type of love was. Maybe Quentin was just better off without him. The millionaire swallowed hard as his throat dried up. He was watched the other male like a hurt puppy as he back away from him. His heart ached in a way it never had before. Soon it was just Aaron alone put on the roof with a crowd of people celebrating, and giving New Year’s kisses below him. Fuck. Don’t cry, Aaron. His father’s voice rang out out in head. Don’t fucking cry.

#chats:aaron #chats:discord #ft.aaron #ft.roman #tw:nsfw-ish #tw:ptsd #{{𝔄𝔞𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔫;; he’s sweet like candy in my veins}}#{{𝓠𝚄𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽;; let's just fall in love for the hell of it}}#//BIG OOOOF!!!

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icarialex · 3 years

Text

Who: Zoey Katz and Kassandra West

When: March 31st

Where: Beach, Hades’ Park, beach.

What: Aurora accidentally ruins Kassandra and Zoey’s date, but they remix that up to be perfect. Kass and Zoey become girlfriends. It’s cute.

Kassandra:

It didn't take long for her to find Zoey, finding the other woman sitting at a bench sketching away. Kassandra felt her whole body fill with a sense of dread as she walked up to the blonde. She wanted to sit next to her, to hold her hand and to tell her that whatever she saw wasn't what it looked like. But it was, wasn't it. It was two ex-lovers fighting over past loves and potential present loves and the lies of their in-betweens. So instead of sitting she chose to stand. Instead of reaching out to lovingly caress that gorgeous face of Zoey's, Kassandra kept her hand at her sides. Instead of lying, she chose to tell the truth. She owed her that much.

"I'm sorry for what you saw back there. She just... Walked up on the beach. Which I get is allowed because its not like I own the beach but... Still. The timing. And yes, she said what she said. But I don't feel the same way. And I don't know if that... If you'll believe me. I don't expect you to. I'm kind of a mess." Biting on her lip, Kassandra stared at the ground, not daring to look at Zoey. "I don't want her. All I want.. Is you."

Zoey:

Zoey felt Kass near her before she even heard the woman speak. There was just something about the brunette that seemed to set all of her nerve endings on fire. It wasn’t unpleasant even though it sounded that way. Honestly, it made her feel alive. Still, she pushed those thoughts to the side as she listened to what Kassandra had to say. There was a lot to unpack, but she didn’t want to leave things the way they were. The only way to get through it was to talk about it.

Once she finished putting her sketchbook away, Zoey stood up and took a few steps forward to be closer to the brunette. She cupped the woman’s cheeks to bring their eyes together and gave her a small smile. “I believe you,” she promised. “I just — I left because seeing someone else have such an effect on you and cause you so much pain at the same time is hard for me to watch. When she said that, I didn’t want to stay to hear what you’d say back because I was scared of losing you in that moment.” Being vulnerable wasn’t hard for Zoey. She’d rather be honest about the hard stuff than have them come back to bite her in the behind later. “I just need to know if I need to be worried about how much she stirs in you. Because I know you want me, but what we want and what we need don’t always line up no matter how much I could want it to.”

Kassandra:

Honestly, she didn't know what she was expecting. On one hand, she thought Zoey would slap her and then leave. On the other, she was expecting her to blow up at her. After all, that's always what had happened. That's what she'd just done to her ex, something that was already making her feel awful. But here Zoey was, walking up to her and cupping her cheeks until their eyes were locked in that now all too familiar way. Her lower lip wobbled as the artist continued to talk, sucking in a deep breath as she tried even out her rapidly beating heart. "I told her that she doesn't get to stumble over that word, not after twelve years. I told her that I didn't love her. And then I left. Because it would be wrong to stay, because I didn't want to stay."

Eyes flitted upwards to look at the dark sky, taking in another deep and shaky breath. "I don't want or need her. And that sounds awful. But she chose to lie and hide parts of herself from me. The truth is I need to really talk to a therapist because I don't know how to process that she apparently did all that to protect me. Because all her lying did was make me hate myself more than I already did. And she saw it. She saw it for the next two years of high school. She saw me slowly change into a different person and she let it happen. And now I'm... Fuck. I need you, Zoey. I do. But I don't think you're going to want me after I tell you the truth. The truth about me." Kassandra took a step back, feeling immediately sick because this was not how she had wanted this night to go. "The truth about why I came here."

Zoey:

It was hard for her to give input on the situation due to her own feelings, but then again, it wasn’t just about her. She really liked Kassandra, and that meant wanting what was best for the woman in front of her. “You don’t need to tell me what happened,” she began truthfully. “I trust you. If you say you want me and are ready to enter this with me, then I trust that you’re doing it with the best intentions towards me. I don’t think you’re ever someone that would hurt me purposely.” Perhaps she was naive, but she always chose to see the best in people and trust them until given a reason not to. It was hard to build any sort of relationship without trust.

Zoey moved from cupping the woman’s cheeks to wrapping her arms around her neck. Even in difficult conversations, it was hard to stay far from the brunette for too long. The illustrator was naturally a touchy, feely person. Add someone who she had feelings for, and she wanted to touch more often than not. “Have you heard the saying that the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions,” she asked with a sigh. While the thought was usually far too gloomy for the upbeat blonde, she did know that it was true in some circumstances. “More often than not, people do damage even if they have the best intentions. You both were really young, and once she started on a path she may not have known how to get out of it. I’m not saying it makes things okay, but forgiving her is the step you need to make when you’re ready. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, and things may never be the same, but it’ll help you let go of all the pain I think.”

The artist was about to respond to how the confident badass she’d met weeks ago was now such a mushy person when the tone changed. The truth? Zoey couldn’t imagine what that meant. The statement hinted that she’d been lied to which didn’t make her feel great. “What do you mean? I’m not excited about the idea of you lying to me when we first met, but we didn’t know each other. I can’t imagine you saying anything that would make me not want you. Did you come here with the intention of hurting anyone?”

Kassandra:

'Did you come here with the intention of hurting anyone'. The question presented to her left a bitter taste in her mouth and she wanted nothing more than to take it all back. To pretend she'd never said what she was sure would doom their relationship before it even started. Except she couldn't. No more lying. "Yes." Her answer came out broken, eyes filling with tears as she swallowed thickly. "When my mom... When she kicked me out.. Zo--I can't say all this and have you holding me. I can't feel you caring for me because it makes me want to keep you feeling that way. Which means I'm going to want to lie to protect myself and I can't... You deserve the truth. I will not be what she was to me to you." Extracting herself from the blonde, Kassandra wrapped her arms around herself as if that would help her feel some sort of protection before continuing her previous train of thought.

"When my mom kicked me out, I was lost. And I wandered into the woods near where I lived and I... I found him. My dad. And he was so.. Confident. Cocky. An asshole. And he said he cared. I was so alone and heartbroken that I went to him willingly. He took care of me. Gave me money and found me somewhere to stay. A-And then he taught me. He taught me about Zeus. About all the Gods. He taught me how wonderful the King of the Gods was and that it would be a privilege to devote my life to him one day. And years went by and he trained me to deal with my strength, tried to understand the flashes I had. And... I thought maybe he'd never introduce me to him. But then we heard about Icaria and what was happening...." Kassandra took in a deep breath and squared her shoulders, knowing she needed to push through this or she'd never get it out.

The problem was is that this would be the nail in the coffin, the reason why Zoey wouldn't be able to look at her. Because this is what she was. Time and time again, Kassandra West was a disappointment. Aurora could yell at her say she wasn't worthless but... Kassandra didn't know if she'd ever believe that. Could ever believe that. "So we devised a plan. I get him intel on what was happening here and... And if the information was good, he'd share it with Zeus. He promised me if I did this, then I'd finally get to meet him. And for so long I believed him. I wanted to meet this God that my father has praised. So I came here. To get close to all of you... To learn your secrets and expose the corruption from the source."

A shaky breath left her lungs as she stared at the ground. "But then I met you. And you weren't like what my father told me you people would be like. I met people here and they talked about Weston. About what you'd all lost. About how Zeus was.... Is. So I began to not write to my father anymore. I haven't done it in... Weeks, actually. Because I can't betray people that I care about." Her eyes finally found Zoey's, pain filling her entire torso as she wondered if she could feel her heart literally shatter. "I only came here because I thought what I was doing was right. But I've been lying to you all from the start. And.. Getting to know someone like you... It was never part of the plan." Kassandra closed her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks. "Falling for you was never part of the plan."

Zoey:

The answer took the air out of Zoey’s lungs as she closed her eyes to will herself to stay and listen. She had to listen because there had to be some sort of explanation. Something that she could use to make sense out of how the sweetest, and sometimes goofiest person she knew could have any intent to cause real harm. So, she let Kass detangle herself from her arms and took her seat back at the bench. The artist crossed one leg over the other as she leaned back and tried to piece it all together.

As she listened, the betrayal and anger she felt slowly started to dissipate. By the way Kass started, the illustrator was positive she was going to want to end things between them before they even began. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case. She was angry but more at the circumstances people had put Kass in when she was feeling most vulnerable. Yes, she was slightly ticked off at the woman for lying to her, but Kassandra had also come clean without being forced to.

Just as she thought she was in the clear and could respond, the air was knocked out of her again with three simple words. Falling for you. Gods. How the hell was Zoey supposed to have the ability to process everything she’d learned in less than thirty minutes? She uncrossed her legs before leaning forward with her palms resting against the bench. Her eyes closed as she thought about how to respond to everything that was put in front of her. “First off, I still want you,” she said immediately to get that out of the way. Last thing she wanted was Kassandra freaking out so much about what it would mean for them that she didn’t listen fully to what she was saying.

When she didn’t feel like her head was going to explode, Zoey sat up again and made eye contact with the green eyes she adored so much. “You haven’t hurt anyone, and I know for a fact that any information you’d have gotten wouldn’t have led to anyone getting hurt. First off, Zeus doesn’t listen to anyone. As you saw, Nyx literally had to kidnap children to get his attention, and even then, he let one of his own daughters stay in that place for five years without giving a damn.” Noreen was one of her friends, and she was still furious with the God for treating her like she was nothing. He didn’t show one hint of remorse or care that she was gone.

Once her anger over that entire thing was tucked back away she continued with, “secondly, no one here has any sort of intel that would prove what your father was hoping to prove. I should know. I’ve been here for over twenty years.” The idea that someone thought they wanted to overthrow Zeus for power as Gods was insane. She’d never met anyone with that kind of thinking. Hell, most of them didn’t want to get caught in the middle of the fight that was surely brewing. “Lastly, you were manipulated into thinking these things by yet another person you should have been able to trust. I can’t discard you like you don’t matter, Kass. That’s not — I can’t ever do that to you because you matter so much to me, and not because I can get anything out of you. Am I crazy about you having lied to me? No. But, we barely knew one another back then. All of what you just unpacked isn’t something you tell a stranger, and you still told me before we got even deeper than we already are. How can I tell the girl I’m falling for that I don’t want her anymore because she came to her senses and realized what she was asked to do is wrong? Seems to me like you’re finally getting things right.”

Kassandra:

Kassandra's head snapped up as Zoey said that she still wanted her, a look of utter disbelief on her face. But as Zoey kept talking, kept telling her more and more of what she thought of the whole situation, the disbelief turned into remorse and then finally, anguish. Taking a few steps forward until she was in front of Zoey, she found herself staggering to her knees, kneeling in front of this woman that was far too kind for her or this world. Placing her hands gently atop either thigh, Kass swallowed thickly and looked up at her. "I'm sorry." The words came out broken, almost unfinished in a way as she bent her head down to rest her forehead against Zoey's knees, unable to look at her anymore. "I'm so sorry." It should be a sense of relief that filled her but all she felt was fear. Fear of what her father would do. Fear that the rest of the people she'd interacted with wouldn't be too keen on her if they ever found out she just came her as some sort of exploitation. For personal gain.

"I don't think I deserve your kindness." Kassandra sniffled, unable to lift her head up to look at Zoey. "But I'll try to earn it. No more secrets... No more lies. Whatever you want to know.. I'll tell you. I don't want to be your foil." There was more she could say, she was sure she could keep begging for forgiveness and utter a thousand words of repentance. But nothing else would leave her throat, not even when she mentally begged it to. So she just kept her head bowed, clutching to a warm body that she definitely didn't deserve.

Zoey:

Seeing Kassandra so broken and upset was not something she ever wanted. The two of them had been through enough hard conversations to last them a lifetime in their short time knowing one another. When Kass’ head leaned against her, Zoey wasted no time in running her fingers through the woman’s hair. While some would enjoy the groveling, the illustrator didn’t. She felt like they were equals, and she wanted the woman she hoped would eventually be her girlfriend to see herself as such. Instead of quickly speaking, she stayed there just lightly scratching the brunette’s scalp with every pass of her fingers through long hair and allowed Kass to catch her breath from everything. It had definitely been a stressful hour to say the least. “All I want is for you to try and see yourself the way I do and start trying to believe you deserve better than what you’ve been given. Everything that’s happened isn’t about who you are as a person, but more about who the others are, okay?” She doubted one evening of her saying so would fix years of emotional turmoil and abuse, but the blonde hoped that every day she stayed helped.

“Now, can you stop literally groveling and tell me what you want to do tonight,” she asked sweetly as she leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on Kassandra’s forehead. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day, and if you think this whole debacle is going to get you out of some me time, you’re so wrong.” They could continue the serious talk another time. It wasn’t something they had a problem doing. Zoey just thought they spent enough time in the dark and twisty for a new couple. She had no problem visiting that side of things, but she thought balance was important in everything. “We do not have to go back to the beach because of the sour taste it could leave in your mouth. I’m down for anything with you.”

Kassandra:

As fingers slid through her hair, Kassandra felt herself melt at the touch. Her whole body seemed to visibly relax as she clutched tighter to Zoey. "I don't really know how to see myself like you see me. I'm sorry if that's not a good enough answer but its all I can really give you at the moment." The brunette sighed as she pulled back just in time for Zoey to kiss her forehead. Eyes slid shut once more as she let herself sink into the sensation, to the touch. To the feeling of someone caring. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest as her stomach fluttered with butterflies.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be real honest, I don't want to go back there. I'll just uh.. Grab my stuff in the morning. Actually... Wait, hang on. Just, stay here. Okay?" Kass got up from her position and walked back towards where she'd had everything situated. Luckily for her, Aurora wasn't there which made her let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Grabbing the blankets, the basket, and the guitar case was easy enough. After getting the fire to die down, Kassandra walked back to Zoey, now looking very sheepish at all of the items she held in her arms. "I uh.. I wanted to do something special... For you. So... I wanted to take you somewhere that you loved. And you.. You really seem to love the ocean and I just thought... Maybe here? But now here is kind of a mess and I don't know where to take you. I kind of messed this all up. Fuck."

Zoey:

“I said try, sweetheart,” she reassured with a sweet smile. “That doesn’t mean you have to see yourself that way now. Just keep working on your self esteem and worth because you deserve so much more than what you’ve gotten.” Zoey wasn’t positive of many things, but that was something she was absolutely certain about. When Kass asked her to wait, the blonde just nodded her head. She was content waiting to see where the night would take them. Zoey was just relieved that they’d made it through something that could have completely ruined the evening.

When Kass did return though, she hadn’t expected to see her with so many things. It was so cute to see how much effort the woman had put into their date, and it touched her more than she could explain. “I’ve got an idea,” she said easily as she grabbed the picnic basket and Kassandra’s now free hand. With that, she began walking them towards Hades park. The botanical gardens there would be perfect to give them a beautiful atmosphere along with some privacy. “I love being outdoors. Since we live on an island paradise, that often leads towards the beach. Still, there are a lot of other spots I go to as well. Hades Park is one, and we can go there. I love all of this already. A small change in scenery won’t change that,” she promised. While she understood that it wasn’t the same as planning the whole date from beginning to finish, she hoped that Kass saw the truth in her words. “What do you think? Are you up to having a picnic with me surrounded by flowers that are almost as beautiful as you?”

Kassandra:

Kassandra blushed as Zoey spoke about being surrounded by flowers that were beautiful like she was. It took everything in her to bite down the remark that Zoey was clearly blind because of the easy way she found herself being self-deprecating. Luckily for the blonde, she managed to stave off the negative energy, that is, until common sense connected in her brain. "Babe..." She started, eyebrow raised as she looked around them for a moment. "I'm totally down for going to a park right now. However, it is uh.. Night time. And unless you're about to tell me you have dark-vision with a radius of 30 ft, I don't know how much flowers we will really be seeing." Kass paused, not because she realized just how incredibly nerdy that was but because of remembering what Zoey could do. "Wait, hold on. You can, can't you? You can see at night because of your... Shapey-shifty thing? Is that a thing?"

Zoey:

The blonde bit her lip to stop herself from smiling at Kass’ first statement. She found it as cute as the woman did when the artist thought that she would be able to restrain her to a bed. However, when Kassandra did finally put it together she gave in and laughed lightly while nodding her head. “Shape-shifty thing? I might have to talk to a comic writer and tell them to make that the name of their next superhero ability,” she teased lightly. While shapeshifting was popular in the literary world, it was more of a sci-fi thing. It became insanely popular thanks to Twilight and other vampire shows which always drove her a bit crazy. There were just some things they got so wrong that she couldn’t really watch those shows or movies. “But yes, you’re right. That is a thing. Lucky for you, I can describe the flowers to you in very good detail.” Well, that was if they didn’t get too distracted by one another like usual.

“You’re so lucky you didn’t know me when I was in high school. I did not have a great grasp on my powers until I was about eighteen. They got better with time of course, but I would just shift sometimes. That’s actually how Dex and I became best friends. I shifted into a monkey and climbed on his shoulder. Well that and the fact that I helped him with his calculus homework when I was a sophomore.” Dexter was actually the friend that Zoey wanted Kass to meet the most. She figured he was safer to meet first rather than her parents and siblings. Family always made people more nervous. “Also, sweetie, I think that reputation of yours is going to go out the window the more people see you with me. You don’t really treat me the way you do others.” She added a hand squeeze to her comment to ease what could be a blow to her date’s ego. Apparently the badass persona was a thing. “We’re almost there. Hades’ Park is just right through that entrance,” she said as she pointed ahead to the sign. Perks of a small island was how easy and quick everything was to get to.

Kassandra:

Rolling her eyes, Kassandra trudged along beside Zoey, knowing full well that she wasn't actually upset with the other woman teasing her. "I don't know what it is. I know mythology shape-shifting, I am a History major with a minor in... Nevermind. Anyway, the point is, I just don't know how it works with you and your... Bits. I could look at history, I could look at my unhealthy obsession of Teen Wolf when I was younger or I could ask person who actually does it... For fun." Kassandra rolled her eyes with a smile plastered on her face, bringing up the hand she was holding to kiss at Zoey's knuckles.

And then the reputation comment came out and she found herself groaning. "Shut up. I was totally a badass before I met you. And now I'm all soft and squishy. What if someone tries to attack us while we're in the park? I might just turn into jello and then you're gonna need to turn into some kind of enormous dragon and carry me off. Or a cool bird. I could ride you if you were an ostrich." Kassandra clearly should stop talking.

Zoey:

“Nuh uh. No way,” Zoey said quickly. “You’re so finishing that sentence. History major with a minor in what?” Learning about Kass was honestly one of the blonde’s most favorite things. Especially when it was learning about the parts that weren’t so sad. “I majored in illustration which I’m sure is a big surprise.” Her major very much directly related to her profession. While she believed she could have made it without it if she’d just sent her portfolio everywhere, she was happy she listened to her dad and got the degree. “As for learning about my abilities, I’m happy to tell you anything you want to know. Please don’t use Teen Wolf as a reference though.” Another show that made her cringe. The alpha and beta thing was way too overstated for her liking, and shifters didn’t often run around in packs.

Zoey led them through the park and playfully rolled her eyes at the woman beside her. It didn’t take her long to find a nice spot for them to set up their blanket and enjoy their evening. “Firstly, I don’t believe you’d turn to jello for a second. You’re too protective for that. Me being in danger would probably just have you act more reckless than usual which I’m not too fond of. I don’t like you getting hurt.” The blonde was also more than capable of defending herself. Her father had insisted she get into martial arts years ago when the first kidnapping happened. It scared him to his core. “Secondly, an ostrich? That’s what you went with? Not a horse, lion or tiger, but an ostrich. You’re a little silly.”

Kassandra:

Sighing deeply, Kassandra knew that she'd have to answer Zoey's question sooner or later. Luckily she didn't have to say anything yet because the blonde was now doing that thing where she talked about herself which honestly helped settle her down a bit. Kassandra really didn't like talking about herself, in fact, she had thought she'd done enough of that for a lifetime after tonight. Eventually they made their way to a spot that the other woman picked out, spreading the blanket out before placing the guitar down as well as the basket. She sat down, patting the space next to her so Zoey would follow suit. "How dare you, I could totally kick ass without getting reckless. And as for the ostrich... Well, okay, that might not have been my brightest moment but it's the first thing that came to my head because of Swiss Family Robinson and... Nevermind. Anyway..."

Kassandra reached over and grabbed the basket, opening it to grab a plate. On the plate were two jelly-filled donuts, Kass happily holding it up in offering to the other woman. "So... Two donuts. Worth two-fifty." She winced, sighing again. "Okay... It was closer to three. But its not like I can haggle the prices of the donuts. And you probably don't even know what I'm referencing. It's... It's the amount that I paid for the comic. Back when I first came to Icaria." The brunette rubbed the back of her, looking awkwardly before grabbing a donut and shoving it quickly into her mouth. "Yf'know... Thefse are weally good. Mmmhmm." And of course, what better time to answer that previous question Zoey had asked her. "It waf folklofe anth myfology."

Zoey:

The blonde questioned Kassandra silently with an arched eyebrow. “You would put me in front of your own well being in a heartbeat which will always concern me. I need you to be okay as much as you’d need me to be.” Getting Kass to see that she meant a lot to someone else was going to be a challenge, but fortunately Zoey wasn’t in a rush. They had time. “You’re going to have to show me more of how that brain of yours works and stop being so worried about what you say in front of me. Nothing you do say is going to scare me away or make me stop liking you. I think I’ve proven that once or twice,” she said with a wink before leaning over and kissing Kass’ cheek.

The donuts and the reference melted Zoey because she honestly hadn’t expected it. Kassandra acted so aloof that day, that the blonde doubted the woman would remember much of their first meeting. Yet, there she was full of surprises. “How could I forget,” she asked with a tilt of her head and smile on her face. “That’s the day I first met you. I told you I’d find a way into your soft spots, and I think I’ve proved that. Oh, and I thought you didn’t date,” she asked teasingly before taking a bite out of her own donut. She covered her mouth to laugh lightly at the gibberish that was coming out of her date’s mouth. Fortunately, she had very good hearing and could make out what she was saying. “Folklore and mythology,” she asked excitedly. “Really? That’s really cool! If you have any books to recommend, let me know. I love reading when I’m not drawing.”

Kassandra:

Kassandra's face flushed a bright red at the reminder of what she'd said all that time ago. Oh for fuck's sake. She'd forgotten about that and now, of course, look how it had come back to bite her in the ass. "You know what," She started, finishing the jelly donut. "I'm revoking your kissing privileges. And instead of giving you totally awesome literature to read, I'm just going to.. Have you read... Uh... The dictionary. In Latin. Mmmhmmm. Yep, exactly that. Terrifying prospect." Okay maybe, on second thought, kissing would be a good idea because at least that would shut her the hell up. Wiping off her mouth, Kass reached back into the basket once more to pull out something else. Pulling out a mug, she handed it to Zoey. "I went to that one mug coffee shop place in town and I saw this there and... I kind of bought it from them. I figured you needed to have it for work."

The mug wasn't particularly fancy or really anything special. But in big bold black font were the words 'Imagine life without comic books... Now punch yourself in the face and never do that again'. "I know it's really kind of lame but I saw it and.. I don't really know, I just wanted to get it for you." She bit her lip, hands moving into her lap to begin playing with her fingers, some of her anxiety showing. "I know I didn't really have to get anything for you. It's just a date and I shouldn't make a big deal. I could have gotten flowers but that felt too cliche. So I went with this. I just.. I haven't done a date in a while. And I wanted it to be good. For both of us. But then the whole setting got moved and my freaking ex showed up. And now we're in a garden that you can see but I can't. Also I'm rambling now, so there's that." Kassandra groaned once more, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

Zoey:

As Zoey finished her donut, she shook her head at the woman opposite of her. “You’re revoking my kissing privileges,” she asked with a pout at the brunette. The prospect of reading the dictionary in Latin didn’t really worry her because honestly, Kass could give it to her all she wanted, but she wouldn’t read it. When the mug was handed to her however, all thoughts of not kissing Kass went out the window. All the blonde wanted to do was straddle the other woman’s lap and kiss her senseless. Yet, she made herself stay where she was. Zoey loved that their — that they were progressing physically more than she had ever enjoyed any of those things before, but she still wanted them to talk some. If she made that move, talking would be out the window. They could spend hours lost in one another and not get bored.

As she looked the mug over, she couldn’t help but smile. It was totally adorable. “I love it,” she said with a smile. She gently placed the mug in her satchel to be sure she didn’t forget it. It would most likely be more of her tea mug than coffee mug, but that didn’t matter. It would have a regular appearance at work. Gently, the blonde pulled the woman’s hands off of her face and brought them to her lips to kiss them. “This date is perfect. I love it out here with you. It’s much more secluded because many people don’t come to a botanical garden at night. Outside of the occasional runner, we’ll be left alone. As for what happened, your ex is in the past, and that’s where I’m keeping her. Our date didn’t start until the moment we both sat down on this blanket.” Zoey wasn’t even just saying that to be nice. In her mind, that happened ages ago. They’d talked, resolved the problem, and now we’re together enjoying their evening. Two completely separate events. “Now, I believe you had questions for me Ms. Folklore and Mythology major. Are you curious how much history has gotten right when it comes to us shapeshifters?” History had honestly gotten a lot of the things right. Even the internet had some facts in their lore that was spot on. Things only got a little weird when they were put into practice on television or movies apparently.

Kassandra:

How on earth was Zoey human? Well, okay, so she wasn't exactly human but still. The point stands. She was the best kind of person who just didn't let things hurt her as much as.. Okay, as much as she herself would let them hurt. Kassandra may have said she was a badass but when it came to matters of the heart she was like a wounded animal, wanting to bite at anyone who came close to her. "I mean I do, but I don't really know how to ask them. I just.. How about instead of me explaining things... You... Show me?" The woman paused, blinking slowly as she realized just how awkward that sounded leaving her lips. "I mean, I understand that history probably has gotten some things right. But I also don't trust it unless its backed up by a lot of evidence and irrefutable proof sometimes. Depending on what we're talking about. This in no way means I'm a flat-earther or think that we never landed on the moon."

Biting her lip, Kassandra moved to reach into the bag again, this time bringing out something she didn't quite know if Zoey would be okay with. "So... I brought something else. Something that I'm going to show you once you tell you all you want to tell me about you. And then... And then I'll tell you about me. Whatever you want to know." She brought the item onto her lap, placing it at her side and out of Zoey's view. Unless that shapeshifting came with freaking x-ray vision.. It didn't. Right?

Zoey:

The idea of showing Kassandra was easy enough. She’d shifted so much that while the feeling is still painful, she’d built quite a tolerance to it over the years. After about a thousand times, something had to feel somewhat natural. Still, there was one small hiccup with that idea. “I would be totally okay with shifting in front of you, but unless you have an extra pair of clothes, I would be naked when I shifted back. Unless you wanted to have the rest of your date with an animal.” The blonde could wrap the blanket around herself, but that would limit what they could do for the rest of the night. While Zoey was quite comfortable being naked, that didn’t mean that the law completely agreed with her. Having her dad bail her out for streaking was not something she wanted at the end of a date. “I can tell you some things though,” she said before biting her lip in though. “I do have heightened senses. I can see around us for a couple hundred feet right now perfectly fine. I can also hear a good distance too. Lying about food is so hard for me because of my taste buds. If I don’t like something, my face totally gives me away. Oh, I also have like a sixth sense which makes it very hard to sneak up on me.” Her brain tried to think of anymore shapeshifter fun facts that she could share without actually shifting right that second. “Oh, I also have an insanely fast metabolism.”

The prospect of learning more about Kass always got Zoey excited. She knew how rare of a privilege that was, and the artist didn’t take it for granted. Every time she was let in a little more, she cherished it and promised that she’d not make the brunette regret it. “You know I always love learning more about you. The happy, sad, silly, and secretly nerdy. I’m a fan of it all. It’s why I like you so much. I’m a whole package kind of girl.”

Kassandra:

Kassandra blinked awkwardly, not at all expecting that response. "O-oh. That uh.. That's... Nope. Let's not do that. Please and thank you. I don't need anyone else seeing you naked." Her eyes darkened for a moment, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of jealousy at the thought of someone else seeing her girl naked. The woman stopped breathing. Her girl. Had she actually just thought that? Oh Gods. Focus, Kassandra. Focus on what she said and not what you thought. Do it now before you start panicking and do something stupid. The problem with this inner monologue was that she wasn't actually obeying what she was saying to herself. At all. Because now she was standing up and... Pacing?

"I like you too. A lot. Which is... I'm not used to it, ya know. Having feelings so fast for someone. Hell--Having feelings is just a weird concept to me. I swore it off. I swore it all off and then I met you and now here we are on a date. And my mind is just kind of going all over the place. Because on one hand, I just got super jealous at the idea of other people seeing you naked. So much so that my brain just called you my girl. Which I want you to know, I'm not possessive over you in the slightest. I do not agree with that kind of thinking. But then on the other hand..." The brunette took in a deep breath, quickly continuing with barely any pause. "I'm yelling at my brain because I don't know if I'm allowed to feel how much I feel, this fast. I've already made out with you, seen you naked and been on two dates now before I've even considered a label be tacked onto us. And that terrifies me. And now I'm rambling to you about this and I should have stayed quiet. I'm sorry."

Zoey:

Seeing Kass get upset at the idea of anyone else seeing her naked made Zoey feel warmer than she thought possible. “I can shift for you at my place if you want since I’ll have clothes there, or I can just stay naked when I shift back,” she said with a shrug. They’d already showered together. However, that would lead to very little talking happening most likely. There was no way she’d want to do anything than touch and kiss at her place if she wasn’t dressed. The blonde was getting a little hooked on the sounds and reactions she could pull out of her counterpart.

Zoey hadn’t expected the tangent her date went on at all. The standing up was random, but as the brunette started talking it all started making sense. Knowing that Kass was going to be on quite the roll for a moment, the artist just leaned back on her palms as she watched Kassandra’s movements while listening. When she was sure her date was done, the illustrator shook her head from where she was while wearing a smile. “I like the idea of being your girl, and I liked that you didn’t want anyone else to see my naked, so no harm no foul on those two.” Zoey ran her fingers through her hair and flipped her part as she thought about what she wanted to say to the second part of it. It wasn’t really about what freaked her out, but soothing the fears of the woman before her. “Kass, I’ve been -- feeling a lot for you for awhile now. I’d love to be your girlfriend, but I’m also okay with waiting for that to happen. As for what you can feel, anything you’re feeling is okay. There is no right or wrong to how you’re feeling, at least with me.”

Kassandra:

Everything in her mind went blank. Girlfriend. She'd heard that right, right? Zoey had said girlfriend. All that she had said was her girl. Not.. Not that. Kassandra sucked in a puff of air, green eyes wide and only slightly frantic. "Girlfriend?" Her voice cracked, all high-pitch and awkward like some kind of prepubescent teenage boy. "I mean... You're my girl who is a friend. And we make out. And I've seen you naked... But... Girlfriend? I don't--I haven't had... Not since... And that didn't..." Kassandra kept pacing, words not fully coming out as properly as she wished for them to. "Is it hot in here? Out here? Is it? Cause it feels warm. Are you warm?"

Zoey:

Well, apparently she did not pick the right words. The blonde heard the high pitched voice followed by the rambling, and she knew that she’d possibly messed up. Living in Aurora’s shadow was hard for the woman, and it wasn’t going to get any easy now that she knew her. Honestly, she wanted to punch Kass’ ex girlfriend just because of all the pain that had been caused, and she was not a violent person. “I’m your girl who is a friend that you make out with,” she said with a nod and made sure to keep any wincing out of her face. That just sounded so less personal than where she thought they were heading.

Zoey let her head lul back and looked up at the sky for a moment as she thought what to say. It wasn’t like she could take back what she’d said. “I don’t have to be your girlfriend,” she started with in an attempt to get Kass to stop panicking. “Whether we are or aren’t, just know that I won’t hurt you the way she did. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you ever because that would just put me on a pedestal that I wouldn’t survive on. I just, I won’t be like her,” she said a little more quietly. While she didn’t like another person being such a focal point between the two of them, it was hard to not address her. She seemed to be the root of all of the other woman’s hang ups when it came to them.

Kassandra:

Hearing what Zoey said next made her face scrunch up. She didn't like how that sounded. Too informal. Too awkward. Too.. Not them. So she watched how Zoey formed her next words, the way that she could barely look at her. The way that she went softer, more gentle. And yet more restrained as well. She didn't like that, seeing the blonde have to restrict herself. Kassandra knew why she was doing it, knew that it was all her own fault for being a fucking mess of a human being. Zoey wasn't like her.. She wasn't broken. And that was good. Honestly thank Gods for that. She wouldn't wish this on anyone. But no matter if she was broken or not... She needed to fix whatever was happening right in this moment. Biting her lip, she looked around despite knowing that that wouldn't really help anyone given the fact that she couldn't see shit.

So instead of continuing a useless pursuit, the brunette moved so she was straddling Zoey's lap, kneeling with her knees on either side of the blonde's legs. Green eyes found blue as she brought a hand up to cup the back of the other woman's neck while her other hand tenderly stroked Zoey's cheek. Her breath came out shaky as she steeled her nerves, pushing down the panic and fear that came with what she was about to ask her. "Zoey... Ask me." The words were honest, yearning. Soft. Like the two of them in this moment. Without even being able to stop herself, she pressed a gentle kiss to the illustrator's lips. "Ask me."

Zoey:

When she saw the brunette looking around, Zoey gave her an endearing smile. “No one is around us according to my eyes and ears,” she said in the hopes of reassuring the woman. She was about to ask why she was curious, when she suddenly found her lap filled with Kassandra. Never one to mind, she put her hands on the woman’s hips and squeezed them lightly. Talking through touches and being intimate with one another was never a problem for them. That part of their relationship would get an A+ honestly.

The request wasn’t one she had been expecting at all. If she was honest, she was ready to shelf the conversation until another month or two. Yet, there the brunette was surprising her again. “You know, I’ve been wanting to ask you for about two weeks,” she said with a light laugh. “I had planned on it being something romantic at my place since that seems to be where we always end up. This, well, this is better,” she whispered in the small space between them. Even without the artist’s hearing, she knew that Kass could hear perfectly fine. “It’s just us. Us naturally stumbling into a topic that makes you flustered, and then you surprise me by pushing your boundaries just a little bit more to let me in every time.” She moved a hand to cup Kassandra’s cheek and caress the skin with the pad of her thumb. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Kassandra:

Is this what it felt like to be wanted? To feel hope blooming in her chest with every word that someone said? Kassandra was sure that was the case as Zoey whispered to her how she felt about this whole scenario. When the blonde brought a hand up to caress the skin of her cheek, she felt her eyes fluttering shut as she leaned into the touch. However her eyes slowly drifted open when Zoey asked her what Kassandra had requested her to. She shouldn't be surprised. She did ask for her to do this, after all. But here she was.. Still surprised as her jaw dropped slightly. Was she lame for having such a simple question take her breath away? Surely not. Not after all the torment she'd been put through or put herself through. Of course she'd react this way.

With a stuttering sound, Kassandra nodded. She was unable to say the words, so instead of vocalizing her feelings she showed them. Instead of kissing Zoey like the blonde might have expected, Kassandra wrapped her arms around Zoey's neck and hugged her tightly. "I'm the luckiest person alive right now." The brunette whispered into her girlfriend's hair. Her girlfriend. Her heart thudded in her chest. She couldn't believe that this was her reality. Was the weather finally changing in her favor? Was this what it was like to feel happy? Pulling back and looking at Zoey was all the answer to the question that she needed. So she did what she wanted. A bubbly laugh escaped her as she moved from the hug to kiss the blonde hard and fast. "Yes," She whispered against her lips in case Zoey hadn't gotten the memo. "Yes... Yes... Yes..." She kept repeating the word in between kisses, laughter accompanying them.

Zoey:

The nod was enough to make Zoey giggle as she easily wrapped her arms around Kass’ middle to pull her body as close to her own as possible. “Mm, I might have to fight you for that title,” she replied easily as she ran her hands up and down the woman’s back. Being close to Kass never failed to make her heart race. She’d thought she’d get used to the sensation at some point, but that had yet to happen.

Kass’ laugh had been the lightest she’d ever heard the woman, and she was about to comment on such before her lips were otherwise occupied. They laughed together which made some of their kisses have a touch more of teeth than normal, but Zoey didn’t care. She was genuinely happy. Wanting to take advantage of the surprise, she effortlessly flipped the woman on top of her so she was lying on her back on the blanket and moved to straddle her hips. “You are always straddling me, which I love, but with our height difference, this makes much more sense, don’t you think,” she asked playfully before leaning down and kissing the brunette again. When she pulled back, she stayed closed with her weight held up by her hands on either side of Kass’ head and smiled as she said, “you know, I quite like the view from here.”

Kassandra:

A yelp left her throat as Zoey flipped them, blinking in surprise as she found herself on her back looking up at the blonde who was now straddling her lap. "I... How did you..." She tried to ask but stopped as soon as Zoey was kissing her again, clutching onto her desperately as she returned it with as much fervor as she possibly could. When Zoey pulled away, she couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face, a blush tinging her cheeks as the blonde talked about liking the view. "I mean you're very close to my face, that's not much of a view. Unless you're pulling back and looking at my chest. Then.. You're welcome. All yours, babe." Kassandra winked at Zoey, moving her hands to squeeze the other woman's hips.

"I feel like if anyone walked up and saw us we would have a lot of explaining to do for public indecency. Or does this count as PDA. Maybe its a good thing that you didn't shift because you being naked and on top of me might have not gone over well." Leaning up wasn't hard as she pressed a kiss to Zoey's neck, lips quirked upwards in a smirk as she raked her teeth down her throat for a moment until she laid her head back down. "I've got my car parked down by the beach and I have another small surprise. We don't have to do it but uh... I got a tent if you want to just camp out by the beach. I used to do it at home sometimes when my mom and I would go. If we stick to the east side of the isle, we can see the sun rise." She blanched, sighing. "I mean, obviously, because it rises in the east. And you know that... Because you're... Smart. Unlike me in this moment, holy shit."

Zoey:

At the woman’s words, Zoey arched a very unimpressed eyebrow. “Keep insulting my girlfriend, and see what I do to you,” she said playfully. “You’re beautiful, Kass, and I’m not just talking about the parts of you people like to sexualize.” The blonde was insanely attracted to the woman below her. It was so intense that it could overwhelm her at times, and the urges that came with that were getting harder to manage. Yet, Zoey would always see her as more than just that. “Still, I like that you’re all mine. That’s one thing you got right.”

“This still counts as PDA. As long as we don’t remove any clothing, we’re good. But yeah, if I had shifted, that would be a totally different problem. Although, I’d hear them before they even saw us, so we could make a get away.” Zoey had quite a bit of experience avoiding people after shifting back into her human form. People always made nakedness so awkward. It was just easier to skip that all together. A moan left the artist’s lips at the feeling of teeth against her neck, and she barely stopped her hips from pressing down further into her girlfriend. Fortunately, the topic that Kass switched to made it easy for her to not focus on the heat quickly spreading through her body. It touched her how much thought and effort the woman put into their date. It also amused her how much Kassandra acted like a girlfriend, but she was so scared to put the label of actually being one. Add to that how nervous she could get, and Zoey was completely enamored. “You’re really smart, darling. I just make you flustered which is seriously the cutest thing to witness,” she replied before leaning down for another peck. Zoey was physically incapable of not kissing Kass for longer than a couple of minutes it seemed. “That sounds amazing, though. Is Nugget okay? Do we need to grab the little boy before heading over?”

Kassandra:

Hearing the other woman call her that sent a fire through her whole body, eyes looking upwards with such care. The sky was gorgeous, stars twinkling overhead with the soft sounds of insects greeting her ears from their location. Hell, she'd forgot where she was because all that mattered in this moment was Zoey. Well. Her and Zoey. She had to start putting herself into the equation or else this wouldn't ever truly go anywhere. It was time to start thinking herself worthy to be cared for. And sure, that would take time and effort and probably a lot of therapy. But she was willing to go that mile. She was willing to throw away whatever notions she'd come here for if it meant starting to be better. If it meant letting her past go. Could she do this? Could she really be happy?

Looking at the blonde, watching her as she spoke to her about her puppy and the compassion that she showed to her was enough to answer her question. Unless the fates truly had it out for her, she could definitely find a way to be happy. And no, she wasn't going to just expect Zoey to be her everything. That wasn't fucking healthy at all and Kassandra was done not being healthy. She wasn't about to say she could see forever in Zoey's eyes because that wasn't how she did things, even before she had gotten all messed up. However... She did know that what she felt for Zoey... It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It felt a lot like hope blossoming in her chest. Still, she had to respond to the question posed to her, which meant getting her mouth to move. "Nugget is okay. I've got a neighbor checking in on him. Besides... I'd like to have you all to myself tonight."

Zoey:

Nugget being taken care of certainly made things easier for them. She loved the little guy, but she was happy to not have to stop by the Inn. It was more like work for her lately, and that was the last thing she wanted in the middle of her date. The likelihood of her not being stopped for at least one question was slim to none. “You should know that I’ve been yours pretty much since the day you walked into the comic shop,” she said honestly. While she could never have predicted what would grow between them that day, she knew that she wanted to be closer to the brunette. Being friendly was natural for her, but things between them were just different.

Kassandra:

Kassandra tilted her head sideways in what surely looked like an adorable manner. "You were? I didn't have any clue. I just knew I wanted to get to know you after we met that first day. I'd never met anyone like you before... You kind of intrigued me and also scared the hell out of me. But uh, like, in a good way. Promise." How was she so smooth when it came to other women and was floundering like a damned fish out of water when it came to this woman in particular? She didn't let that thought fester, too busy noticing that Zoey was moving off of her, causing her to pout.

After she was helped up, Kassandra dusted off her pants and sighed. "I mean, hopefully we're alone. The whole Gods popping in on this isle at any moment, with doors that do or do not open and mythological creatures that like to sneak up on people while they're napping in a park... I don't know if we will ever really be considered 'alone'." She put air quotes around the last word before realizing that Zoey was talking about a lack of restraint around her. "I'm the definition of restraint, Zo. I'm like a walking, talking, breathing entry in a dictionary of that term. And not because I don't want you, I do. I just want to do this right. I still feel like I'm going far too fast but I have to remind myself that people put regulations in place on relationships and boundaries for themselves and decided society needed to do it as a whole. Which is insane. What's good for me is not good for... Someone like.. Oh I dunno. Caelan. I still don't understand the bees..." Kassandra stared off into space for a moment before realizing she'd gotten completely sidetracked. "The point is! That... I don't think we're doing this wrong. Going too fast or too slow. As long as we're both good and feeling okay, then I'm good with however we take it. Or don't... Take it." Kass breathed deeply through her nose, closing her eyes. "I swear I'm normally so much better with words than this."

Zoey:

“I was,” she said with a small nod. “I had no idea we’d become this. Especially when you acted like such a little bad girl player type that didn’t want anything to do with dating, but I wanted to get closer to you. I was obviously attracted to you, but I’m never so flirty when I first meet someone. Friendly, yeah, but I was flirting with you. Then, well, things were clear pretty fast that I wanted you.” Their first date shifted things. If Kass hadn’t stopped back into the comic shop after their first meeting, they might have never gone on that date. Things fell into place for them even if there were some bumpy moments thrown in.

Hearing Kassandra ramble so much made Zoey’s heart feel so full. She was happy the woman was feeling comfortable enough to not play that “too cool” facade that she sometimes wore. “Mm, you’re right, but when I’m with you I don’t really notice anyone else, so I get the effect of being alone either way. Plus, I don’t think anyone will just waltz into our tent. You’re with an isle native. I know all the secluded spots,” she said with a wink as she finished packing up the last of their items and placed her bag on her shoulder. At the sound of a second bout of rambling, Zoey just giggled as she grabbed Kass’ hand and started leading them out of the park. “Mmm, I think you’re great at words. You don’t have to try and be suave or anything with me. I already find you sexy, sweet, and smart. Triple S. You’re golden. As for our pace, I tend to agree with you. Pacing rules are weird to me. If it feels right, and we put in the work, then I’m happy.” Her relationship experience was very limited, but Zoey wasn’t ever really someone to follow societal norms though. It was part of what made her such a loner in a sense in high school. She had friends and was happy, but she usually did her own thing and didn’t care about the rules of what made people popular or not. That was far too exhausting. “The lack of restraint I have with you is shocking. I’ve never had a problem keeping it in my pants. I’ve never gotten turned on to the point of needing to release tension until you. I can keep on having fun on my own like I have been the last few weeks though until we’re ready. Just don’t be too mean of a tease.” If Kass thought Zoey was open before, she was in for a whole new level now that they were in a relationship.

Kassandra:

Kassandra's eyes widened at all the information that greeted her ears, especially that one specific sentence that Zoey had said. "You... Alright! Nope, not thinking about that. We're going to sleep on the beach, after making out knowing us and not going any further because I'm still... Not ready for that yet. Which is surprising, I'm sure, given the fact that I've... Well, you know. Either way, c'mon let's go." Kassandra grabbed Zoey's hand with her own, other hand holding onto the basket that held all the items she'd brought including the blanket that was barely stuffed inside. As they walked to her car, the conversation was light, Kass just happy to be in the presence of the other woman. Eventually they made their way to one of the more secluded sections of the beach, obviously facing the east shores of the isle. With practiced ease, Kassandra assembled the tent and rolled out the sleeping bags. Biting her lip, she quickly knelt down and did something she'd only done when she was a kid; Kassandra took the two sleeping bags and opened them before zipping them together to make one big sleeping bag. A light blush covered her cheeks as she turned back to Zoey, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. "I didn't want space... If that's okay, I mean."

Zoey:

There was absolutely nothing in the world more amusing and adorable than watching Kassandra West ramble. Zoey would be willing to argue with anyone about that fact too. It was just so cute to watch the brunette get flustered over things that the artist knew she usually didn’t get bothered over. It was touching in a way. “It’s not surprising. I know you see yourself in a certain way, but I don’t. You’re just Kass to me, okay? My sweet, secret nerd, girlfriend. No need to fight against old images or expectations with me.” Zoey wasn’t the type to use past things against anyone. Things with her were a clean slate. That’s how she operated.

Once they got to the beach, and Zoey helped lead them to a spot she knew was secluded, she couldn’t help but smile. She grabbed the woman’s hand and lightly tugged her in for a kiss. “It’s perfect. Now, come on. I think you promised me some making out,” she said with a smirk as she led them into the tent.

#zoey ft. kassandra #kassandra #cinnamon roll meets sinnamon roll #discord 4

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