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guilty-ff · 3 months

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Fading Shadows: Love and Betrayal pt.1

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏 ˚⁎⁺˳ .

Simon has been your boyfriend for nearly four years. Both of you being colleagues in the 141 task force, living with the dangers of a sergeant being in a relationship with a lietaunent. As Ghost departs on a mission to bring Makarov back, ghosting you for months and coming back as a different person, your relationship begins to crumble

Pairings: fem!reader, Simon Riley, König

Genre: mild angst

Tags: MW3 Spoilers, angst, ghosting, anxiety, arguing, break up, independent, death, kinda Asshole Ghost

It's been three months since your boyfriend Simon departed for the mission with his teammates to catch Makarov. You are a part of Task Force 141, but due to a bullet injury on your left shoulder, you were not allowed to join and requested rest.

You asked Laswell countless times for their status. Not a single message or tracking of the group can be found. Anxiety that something might have happened to the group and specifically your boyfriend begins to rise, and several sleepless nights have been encountered. You promised each other, before being recruited for any mission, to stay in contact.

You are currently lying in your and Simon's shared bed, taking small breaths of his shirt lingering with cologne, wishing each second to receive a sign of his wellbeing. Sure, you both knew what you were getting into when you decided to confess to each other and get into a relationship. Your friends and family, even your colleagues, warned you of a relationship in the military, but nevertheless, you and Simon frankly did not care.

The high ceilings of your bedroom are seeming larger than before. You feel as if you are taking up all the space. Every night is the same. Staring daggers into the wall until reality hits.

You hear a door squeaking and by the time you turn your back, you are facing your boyfriend in his tactical uniform, combat boots and skull mask. You have always loved his military uniform and the way it fits and contours his physic. Likewise, you managed to conceal your face with an agonizing smile. Hiding all the concern and emotions of distress you felt over the past few months.

Living with him for two years taught you that you needed to be patient. After each mission, he returns with a stoic expression and tensed muscles. Him opening up to you took him months, and you do not want to pressure him any further. You knew about his trauma, the things he went through as a child, the results of a childhood full of assault, and the way he copes with his problems. One of them is to lock them up and slowly open them one by one.

While you watch him stripping off his tactical gear and mask, you notice a different look in his face. An expression you cannot read or identify.

As he walks towards the bed, you are moving closer to his side of the bed and can sense the mattress sink and the bedsheets shift. You are wrapping your arms around his shoulders and snuggling up close. Both of you have always loved to cuddle and feel each other's body heat. But now, it feels much more distant and foreign. You shake off these thoughts, close your eyes, and hug him even tighter.

In the morning, you were woken up by your alarm, you pull the sheets tighter around your body. Sensing nothing but cold air caressing your body. You open your eyes, trying to reach for your phone for a few moments before realizing that your partner is nowhere to be found.

You straighten yourself up and get ready for your morning routine as you find a little note on the drawer next to your side:

"I'm off to work"

Usually he wakes you up before leaving the house, but since yesterday, each habit has become foreign.

Even though your injuries have not healed properly, you decide to go to the base and start training. As long as you go easy on yourself and are careful with your stitches, you will find training to be a good alternative to ease your mind.

After arriving at the base, you see your team from afar sitting at the meeting table. Captain Price looks up, and our eyes meet.

"Aren't you supposed to stay at home, Sergeant?" He asks, furrowing his brown brow and crossing his arms.

"You know me damn well, Captain. You can't expect me to just sit at home and do nothing. I'm fully rested and ready to take up my work, " I answer truthfully, with a wide grin crossing my face.

My eyes are scanning the room.

Looking to my left, there sits Ghost, cleaning his rifle with an old cloth, focusing to get all the dirt out of the muzzle before using it for the sniping training with new recruits.

At my right, Gaz is sitting at the end of the table, fully clothed and hooded, with a saddened appearance. The longer I remain in the room, the more the atmosphere feels suffocating, pressing the air out of my lungs.

Counting each member of the group, I witness that someone is missing.

"Isn't it past our meeting time? Where the fuck is Soap at? Always being late, isn’t he?" I try to laugh the depressed ambience off.

Price's contentment look got plastered drastically into a painful expression on his face.

Price hesitates before mumbling “K.I.A”

“What did you just say?” I ask fully known what he has just said. You and Soap were not that much closer in comparison to him and Simon. Nevertheless, he was someone who brought positive vibes in the TF141, which was through all the bloody mission very much needed. Searching throughout the room for answers, your eyes are landing on Simon, who avoids eye contact.

"Makorov shot him in the skull while shielding Simon from Makorov shooting range, he truly died as a hero. In spite of that, we were unable to rescue him. It was an instant kill in action.“

"I could have been there. My shoulder were only aching a bit. I could have been of use-"

"No. Y/n you could have done nothing. The orders of the higher ups were final, and your injuries could’ve been a burden to us.“ Gaz interrupts understanding your moment of distress.

The news of Soap's demise hits you like a shockwave, the weight of grief settling heavy in your chest. Your eyes fixate on Simon, searching for any sign of emotion, but he remains distant, his gaze fixed on some distant point. The room's stifling atmosphere becomes unbearable.

As Gaz speaks about the circumstances leading to Soap's death, you can't help but feel a pang of guilt. The what-ifs echo in your mind, wondering if your presence could have altered the tragic outcome. Gaz's reassurance attempts to pacify your self-blame, but the guilt lingers.

In the days that follow, the once-shared apartment with Simon becomes a silent battleground of unspoken pain. Simon withdraws further, shutting out the world with a stoic facade, and you struggle to bridge the growing gap.

Attempting to salvage what remains, you confront Simon in the dimly lit living room. "Simon, we need to talk. This silence is tearing us apart. Soap's gone, but we're still here, and I can't lose you too."

As he does not speak, you try to calm yourself down and trying your best to be patient and understanding, when all of a sudden, Simon stands up from the couch and leaves you alone in the living room, taking his phone and ignoring you. A synapsis snapped, and all your build in anger, guilt and angst over the past few months exit your body.

"That's enough, if you don’t mind talking to me, alright I get it, if you keep ignoring me, sure enough, but if you do so, you should at least look at me while I'm speaking to you". I yank his phone out of his hand and make him lower his head.

"For fuck's sake, what the fuck was that for? Mind your own bloody business. Stop annoying me and keep out of it.“ he raises his voice at you, something he has never done.

Your frustration eruptes in a torrent of words, "Simon, you can't keep ignoring my feelings and opinions. It's like you live in your own world, completely oblivious to everything I say!"

"I'm not ignoring you. I just don't have time for constant fucking complaints. Maybe if you had something constructive to say-"

"Constructive? How about acknowledging that I have valid thoughts and emotions? You dismiss everything I bring up!"

Simon scoffes,"You're exaggerating. I'm dealing with real problems, not your constant need for attention."

Y/n's anger simmering, "Real problems? Ignoring your partner is a real problem. I'm right here, trying to communicate, and you act like I'm invisible."

Simon, brushing it off, said, "I've got work, responsibilities. I can't be catering to your every whim."

"Damn it. It's not about catering, Simon. It's about being a partner, someone who listens and cares. But you're so wrapped up in your narcissistic ass mindset that you don't even see how much you're hurting me."

Simon, oblivious or unwilling to understand, replies, "I don't have time for this drama. If you can't handle it, maybe we should reevaluate this relationship."

"You really are a pathetic piece of shit, Simon. I'm here trying my best to hold this relationship between us together. While you, you keep on-"

"Of course. It's always me to blame, isn't it? It's always gotta be about you. Maybe your mother should have been present in your childhood and taught you some manners instead of bitching around like you do. Maybe it really would've been better for all of us if you would have come to the mission instead of Soap and died there instead of him-" he snaps back, completely unaware of what he just said.

*smack* Simon feels a sharp sting across his right cheek, unable to answer, he just stares blankly at you and decides not to take a single word back.

You are standing with teary eyes in front of him, trying to process the things he said.

"Well maybe, it would be the best for us if we break up!" I scream back.

The room falls into an awkward silence after the resounding smack. Simon's cheek burns, mirroring the emotional fire that had ignited between you. In the midst of your tears, a newfound strength emerges.

Without a word, you turn away, refusing to let Simon witness your vulnerability any longer. As you gather your belongings, a heavy silence settles, the relationship irreparably fractured. Simon, still grappling with the impact of his words, realizes the magnitude of his actions but finds himself paralyzed by the weight of regret.

With a final, sorrowful glance, you leave the room, leaving Simon to confront the consequences of his hurtful words. The painful truth lingers, marking the end of a relationship that once held a promise.

#call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #simon riley #ghost #simon ghost riley #cod #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap #cod angst #fanfic #captain price #kyle gaz garrick #argument #fiction #self written #SoundCloud

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basic-ravenclaw · 5 months

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It is not the death that is painful, But being alive. And for you, I would live forever. Forever and ever, and only for you. I choose life. I love you.

#quote #love #poetry #dark academia #self written #quotes #academia #chaotic academia #light academia

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sulasnsleep · 2 months

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“and when i grow old and tired, do not leave me. hold me, hold my heavy soul, and rock me until the sun sets and the air turns crisp.”

— sulasnsleep

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never7enough · 9 months

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Wohin, wenn dich niemand versteht & du dich selbst auch nicht? 🫧

#depri #ich hasse meinen körper #depressiv #ich hasse alles an mir #this is depressing #sorry for being depressing #i hate my liiiiife #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #suizigedanken #self written

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half-flowershalf-flaws · 2 months

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Words how little they mean when you're a little too late...

How "Where have you been?" becomes "I couldn't care less what you do."

How "I can't think of how I spent all this time without you." turns into "I can't wait to be free from you."

How "I dreamt of you last night." becomes "My life was better without you."

How "I'd swim an ocean to be with you." becomes "I'd rather drown than save you."

How feelings become mere memories,

How words become a blur,

How little do words mean when it could've been the whole wide world.

#self written #female writers #writeblr #writers on tumblr #poems on tumblr #original poem #poets on tumblr #writers and poets #poems and poetry #deep feelings #writerscommunity #writing #my words #spilled words #words words words #artists on tumblr #feelings

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thevioletdaffodil · 1 month

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my brain is stringed with wires who don't obey but you play those wires like harps with your beautiful hands, effortless and musical, you clasp my thighs when my empire trembles, you murder the stars for me, you wash my hair with sunlight, and sometimes i talk like an immortal but you never ask my age (i love you), and other times when the quiet steals me, you recite my thoughts better than my wiry mind can even conjure them up.

you make me dance in my sleep, hold my hand in the backseat. you handle my nerves like flower stems, and sometimes it hurts so much to see you loving so gently, so quiet in noise but so loud in intensity, as if when you see me, i'm the only thing you're seeing.

it hurts not in a sad, angry or hopeless way, it hurts because you handle my nerves like flower stems and the pain is soothed and i feel pity for god because now again, see how you have defeated him and his constant need to gift pain. you did it gently, and now he must be purple with rage, or maybe blue in repentance, but you, you don't care.

you only want flowers to grow from my old hands, you only want my flesh to glow pink and my brain wires to sing and to be able to devour me when want consumes us both, clasping my thigh, swinging me high, clinging onto each other.

never remind me how many lifetimes have passed with you because time is a godly conspiracy and i don't know what's time when i'm with you, it's just you're you. when i spread out my hands to fly one evening, you told me i looked like an aeroplane (i love you too).

i remember, a spider crawled on my wrist and i wept to god, telling him to bite me, to end it, and that instant, you flicked them both and you bit me neat (i'll never be the same.)

our mothers communicate to him in prayer. which one of them will tell him that he's fired already? that you, my lover, have accidentally dethroned him?

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athousandbyeol · 6 months

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this is a love story witnessed by the last twilight sky.

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libraalynn · 4 months

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guilty-ff · 3 months

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Fading Shadows: Love and Betrayal Pt.2

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏 ˚⁎⁺˳ .

In a Task Force 141 operation, Soap sacrifices himself to save Simon, introducing tension in Simon and your relationship. Simon's emotional withdrawal escalates, leading to a heated argument where hurtful words are exchanged. You decide to end the relationship, leaving Simon to grapple with the consequences of his actions and the loss of both Soap and Y/n.

Pairings: fem!reader, Simon Riley, König

Genre: mild angst

Tags: MW3 Spoilers, angst, anxiety, break up, independent

The chasm between you and Simon widens with each passing day, the once seamless partnership now fractured by unspoken tensions. At work, the air becomes charged with the remnants of what was, and the camaraderie that defined your relationship on missions results into an uncomfortable silence.

Unable to bear the strain any longer, you decide to take the matter to Captain Price. Knocking on his office door, you wait for the permission to enter.

"Captain, we need to talk."

Price glances up from his paperwork, recognizing the seriousness in your expression. He gestures for you to sit, prompting you to share your concerns.

"What's going on, Sergeant?"

You take a deep breath, carefully choosing your words.

"Simon and I can't continue working together like this. It's affecting our Missions. I need a change, sir."

Price leans forward, his piercing gaze assessing the situation. "You two were one of the best teams I had. I need more than vague reasons, Y/n. You know that I can't just exchange my soldiers simply because of a request", he sighs.

"It's personal, sir. I can't disclose everything, but trust me, I need a different unit," you explain, aware that revealing the true depth of your personal struggles might complicate matters further.

Price studies your face for a moment before sighing.

"Alright, I'll process the paperwork. But you better sort this out, Sergeant. I won't have my team falling apart."

Months pass, and the separation becomes a painful reality. The memories of shared victories, haunting both you and Simon. The war outside may be unrelenting, but the emotional battles within are just as fierce.

One day, as you pass Simon in the hallway, there's a fleeting moment of eye contact. The unspoken words and unaddressed emotions hang heavy in the air. The wounds of a love lost on and off the battlefield are still fresh, and the path to healing seems like an uncertain journey.

In the following weeks, your final request grinds into action, and you find yourself reassigned to a different unit called "KorTac". Not exactly what you were hoping for, when you already know the tension and rivalry between the SpecGru and Kortac factions.

Moreover, the relief is accompanied by a nagging guilt for not being entirely honest with Price. Simon, on the other hand, watches your departure with a mix of confusion and quiet acceptance.

Entering the new faction, you are going to meet unfamiliar faces and a different set of dynamics. The work is challenging, but the void left by the fractured relationship with Simon remains, a constant reminder of what once was.

Back in the Task Force 141, Simon navigates the mission parameters with a stoic demeanor, but the absence of the seamless partnership is felt. The once vibrant laughter and shared glances now replaced by a stoic professional detachment"

Today was the day to say goodbye to your colleagues and friends that have known for over eight years. Eight years of laughter, agony and the painful farewell to beloved friends who aren't present anymore.

The barracks buzz with a mixture of emotions on the day of farewell. Hugs, handshakes, and heartfelt goodbyes fill the air as you prepare to bid adieu to friends who have been part of your life for eight years.

In a quiet corner, you find yourself engaging in a conversation with Captain Price and Gaz, the weight of impending farewells plasters on their faces.

Captain Price, his stern behaviour momentarily softened, speaks with a slight of nostalgia.

"Eight years, Sergeant. You've been a significant part of this team. You'll be missed."

Your eyes examine the room, stopping at a huge Silhouette that stands in the darkest corner of the room.

Gaz shift his glaze and sees your painful expression when he adds, "You've been a damn good comrade. We've been through a lot together. By the way, he actually will be missing you too. I just want to say it on his behalf because this dork won't have the balls to do it himself"

You nod appreciatively, the gratitude for their camaraderie weighing on your heart.

"It's been an honor, sir, and Gaz. I'll never forget the missions we've tackled and the bonds we've forged."

You thank them wholeheartedly with a light smile.

As the conversation continues, Simon remains silent and visibly confused in the background. His usual confident and cocky demeanor replaced by an uncharacteristic uncertainty.

Captain Price notices Simon's subdued state and approaches him. "Simon, you alright?"

Simon, his gaze darting between faces and conversations, mumbles, "Yeah, just... trying to process everything."

Gaz, taking a step closer, tries to offer reassurance. "It's a tough day, mate. Saying goodbye to a lot of history here."

Simon's confusion deepens, his eyes seeking understanding. "History? What's happening?"

Captain Price, exchanging a knowing glance with Gaz, explains gently, "Y/n is changing to a different faction, Simon. It's a farewell."

Simon's eyes widen, the realization dawning on him. "Changing? Farewell? Why wasn't I informed?"

Gaz shrugs, "Guess it happened fast. These things aren't always planned."

Seeking solace and advice, you decide to return to the friend who welcomed you when you moved out of the apartment you once shared with Simon. The familiarity of her presence offers a comforting refuge as you navigate the emotional aftermath of the farewell and the complex feelings tied to your relationship with Simon.

As you share your struggles and the decision to move on from the Task Force 141, your friend listens attentively. After recounting the recent events and the growing distance between you and Simon, she suggests, "Maybe it's time to have a heart-to-heart with him. Clear the air, sort things out."

You consider her words, understanding the wisdom in addressing the underlying issues. However, a sense of uncertainty lingers, and you express your hesitation.

"I don't know if it's the right time or if he's willing to open up. It feels like he's a different person now."

Your friend, a supportive presence throughout, encourages you to consider the possibility of reconciliation.

"People change, especially under the weight of war. It might be worth giving him a chance to explain and, perhaps, find a way to rebuild what's been broken."

However, you shake your head, a sense of resolve settling in. "I can't, not right now. It's too much, and we both need time apart. Maybe in the future, but not now."

Your friend, though initially shocked, nods in understanding. "It's your decision, Y/n. Take the time you need, but don't let it linger for too long.“

That night, as you settle into the new routine at the Korean base, the weight of the unspoken breakup looms heavy. The separation becomes a reality, and the absence of Simon brings forth a flood of memories—eight years of shared victories, defeats, laughter, and tears.

As the night progresses, an overwhelming wave of anxiety engulfs you. The familiar rooms seem to close in as the echoes of countless memories with Simon play vividly in your mind. Each shared moment, each inside joke, and the warmth of his presence intensify the emotional turmoil.

You find yourself breathless, gasping for air as the anxiety attack takes hold. The vulnerability of the situation, the weight of the unspoken goodbye, and the uncertainty of the future converge, overwhelming your senses.

In the silence of the night, you grapple with the reality of the silent breakup, the emotions suppressed during the farewell event now demanding acknowledgment. Alone with your thoughts, you confront the pain of the unspoken farewell and the daunting prospect of a life without Simon.

As the night wears on, the panic gradually subsides, leaving you emotionally drained and physically exhausted. The room, once filled with memories, now feels emptier than ever. The journey to healing has just begun, and the road ahead seems fraught with challenges.

The weight of eight years spent alongside Simon becomes a poignant reminder of the intricate tapestry of emotions that once defined your relationship.

After a month of settling into the apartment of your friend and adjusting to the routine at the "KorTac" base, the day arrives when you're finally scheduled to meet your new teammates.

Nervousness and uncertainty grip you as you ponder the challenges that often accompany being the only woman in a military unit.

The atmosphere at the base is bustling, and the absence of your new teammates, currently on a mission, heightens the anticipation. You steel yourself, knowing that you've had to work extra hard in the past to prove your capabilities as a woman in a male-dominated environment.

As you navigate the hallways of the base, your mind races with thoughts of acceptance and validation. The whispers of unfamiliar voices and glances in your direction make you acutely aware of the scrutiny you might face.

Amidst the bustling activity, you receive a message to report to the general's office. The mention of a meeting with a colonel named "König" gives you pause. The name sends a shiver down your spine, a sense of foreboding that you try to shake off. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself that names are just names.

Approaching the door of Colonel König's office, you muster the courage to knock. The sound echoes through the hallway, and a stern voice grants you permission to enter. The door swings open, revealing a room adorned with military memorabilia and maps.

As you step inside, Colonel König, a giant figure of authority, sits behind a large desk. His gaze meets yours, and a flicker of something unreadable crosses his eyes. You cringe inwardly, unsure of what to expect in this new chapter of your military career. The tension in the room is palpable, leaving the fate of your future at the "KorTac" base hanging in the balance.

#self written #call of duty #cod angst #cod mw3 #ghost cod #cod mw2 #cod x reader #könig #könig x reader #könig x you #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #fanfic #angst

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