#she could’ve just not been able to write but that was way funnier

[chickenscript]

Could you write a scenario for each of the turtles where they sneak into to a hospital through the window and visit the reader who is staying the night after they broke their arm?

A/N: i feel like i could've wrote this funnier but hope you enjoy!

Least to say, you weren't expecting any visitors when you ended up bedridden in the hospital.

Well, it wasn't all that serious really. You got a bone fracture in your arm after a little skateboarding incident but, the doctors wanted to keep you overnight for observation and to help ease you through those first hours of sheer pain.

Back on topic though- you wondered why you didn't think that you wouldn't see any familiar faces pop by during your stay considering the company you kept.

And by that you meant they would 100% be the type to break into a hospital just to visit you.

Leo: - You honestly thought he would've tried to sneak in dressed as a nurse knowing Leo and his ideas.

- But no, this time around he had snuck in through your window and did so, so stealthily that he nearly gave you a heart attack when he cropped up right next to your face sudden.

- Thankfully you realized it was him before you could let out a scream that would've alerted a nurse or doctor.

- You laughed the fright off and he took a seat on your bed next to you.

- He started off idle chatter about how you were feeling and the specifics of how you ended up here, and you enjoyed the company as much as you knew he should've waited until you left tomorrow for his own sake.

- You couldn't not appreciate that he had come to check on you.

- You're not sure that you had known anyone before the turtles that would've found a way into your hospital room after visiting hours to make sure you were absolutely okay themselves.

- You made sure to let Leo know that too.

- He smiled sheepishly and ruffled your hair; he'd break into a hospital any day for you. You were one of his best friends after all. (Of which the turtles only had you and April).

- The sentiment made you snort and you smiled back at your goofy friend with a giggely thank you.

- You wouldn't have it any other way.

- Regardless, you had to admit that he probably should've left for the lair before the morning rolled in instead of staying so long into the night getting caught up in nighttime conversation with you that he wound up passing out like you did.

- He had to narrowly avoid being caught by the staff and you tried not to bust out laughing at his "timely escape".

- Which was Leo having to scramble out off the bottom of your bed where he'd sprawled out on so he could launch himself out the window when the nurse came to tell you that you were ready to be discharged.

- The sound of a yowling cat as he landed in the dumpster outside didn't help your case either.

Donnie:

- You...you weren't expecting the impromptu doctor costume.

- Or for him to immediately start out his sudden visit by prodding at your cast the second he was done clambering through your room window.

- Donnie insisted he just wanted to check on the sturdiness of it, but you still had to swat him away so he wouldn't fuss over it.

- With a sigh, you let your arm fall back across your stomach. You didn't have to ask to know why he was here because you had a good guess already.

- You invited the turtle to sit on your hospital bed and after hesitating for a moment, he plopped down.

- He cleared his throat and asked you how you were feeling.

- You smiled and told him that they were giving you plenty of painkillers, Dr. Dee. It wasn't a gnarly break, so you were lucky in that regard and didn't need any heavy duty treatment.

- Donnie nodded with closed eyes and folded arms.

- He told you everyone was worried about you and you poked his bicep, telling him to tell them that you definitely weren't dying or anything.

- Donnie looked down at you and poked you in the nose, telling you that a broken arm still wasn't anything to laugh about.

- You wriggled your nose with a puff. You knew that but you also knew that you would be able to recover just fine.

- Even though Donnie didn't show it like his brothers would've, you knew he had come all this way to make sure you were getting treated properly. (Even though you certainly were).

- After his fussing, you and Donnie played a few rounds of Mario Kart on his switch while chatting. You were sure he was going easy on you because of your arm but you didn't say anything about it because well, who could ever complain about winning?

- When you wrapped up, you let him sign his name in an almost obnoxious purple that glinted neon in the dark on your cast and he told you not to break anything else.

- You laughed and replied that you didn't plan on it.

- The answer seemed to be good enough for him as he left and after the nurse came to turn out your lights for you, you laid back in your bed and stared for a long while at the glow in the dark signature on your bum arm before falling asleep.

Mikey:

- You had to shush him the moment he launched onto your hospital bed.

- He was immediately poking and prodding at you, and asking about whether or not your arm still hurt.

- You laughed softly and shook your head. You reassured him you were doing much better compared to earlier.

- Mikey was happy to hear about that, settling down a bit and sitting down.

- He asked if he could touch your cast and you gave a nod.

- He touched it very gently, wrinkling his snout at the coarse feeling texture of it under his fingertips.

- Then he looked up at your face and asked the question you knew he was probably waiting to since he got there.

- You gave another soft laugh and said yes, he could sign your cast.

- With a wide smile he whipped out some markers he was carrying with him and got work scribbling on your cast.

- You quickly got the feeling that his "signature" was going to be much more elaborate than just that.

- And you weren't wrong as he spent the better part of an hour, chatting with you as he drew.

- Truthfully, you hadn't been able to get to bed at all before Mikey dropped by and having him here was nicer than tossing and turning, waiting to fall asleep.

- Eventually, he's done and you're amazed by the graffiti style doodle now on the corner of your cast.

- Mikey beamed at the look on your face and asked you what you thought. To which you were quick to say it looked amazing.

- You ended up having a chat about art and you two did some doodling in one of your notebooks before he had to go back to the lair so you could call it a night.

- He wished you a goodnight and you promised to be over the next day to spend some time with your favorite turtles, and when you let your head rest on your pillow, sleep found you much easier than you thought it would before Mikey got there.

Raph:

- You were surprised a herd of staff didn't rush to your room as he had to all but force himself through the window and knocked over an IV pole and those little carts that held nurse supplies.

- Of course, a sweet little nurse did pop in to see if you were alright and you told her that a strong breeze must have done it all.

- She bought the story and Raph, who had ducked under your bed and raised it a good foot or two higher, crawled out.

- He asked you how you were doing and whatnot, and you waved off his worries.

- Still, he didn't seem very sated by the look on his face.

- You reached out with your good arm and gave him a pat on his. - In truth, Raph felt bad that he nor his brothers could've been there to prevent your injury; as stupid as that might sound.

- And he seemed to think you would laugh at him as he admitted that to you.

- You didn't think it sounded stupid in the slightest though. A lot of people feel that way when it comes to people they care about, you reassured him.

- You felt the same every time the turtles had altercations with the villainy lurking in New York.

- That seemed to work and you were glad to shake some worry off of Raph's big ole shoulders. He had enough of that while trying to lead the gaggle of turtle brothers.

- You patted the side of your bed and almost regretted the gesture when it groaned in agony at Raph's mass.

- You tried to laugh it off, hoping internally that the bed would turn out okay. You were just happy that it was holding up for now. But, you were surprised that Raph didn't notice the potential problem.

- You two spent a while just idly chatting and Raph recanted the brothers' recent encounter with some villains last night. You eagerly listened and enthused about it alongside the behemoth of a snapping turtle whose giddiness about things always reminded you he was truly a softie.

- After some hours, he got around to leaving once he signed your cast in big, blunt red letters and the hang out session made you feel like you really did have friends looking out for your more than you realized before.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt x reader #reader insert #fanfic #mywriting #headcannons #anon

[dogbearinggifts]

What are your thoughts on tua S2? Did you feel like the characters grew? What did you like? What did you not? I’m interested in your perspective. Your analysis are super thoughtful and interesting!

Aw, thanks, Anon!

Overall, I really enjoyed S2 and thought it was a solid follow-up to S1. I do have my quibbles about it, so I think (for ease of reference and because my thoughts are a little scattered today) I’ll list some of my personal highlights (in no particular order) before getting into what I didn’t like as much.

Big spoilers ahead.

Allison. I thought they handled her storyline especially well. Of all the siblings, I think she had the most difficult obstacles placed in her way (not only is she a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas, but she’s a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas who can’t even speak in her own defense for a year) and they sugarcoated exactly none of it. The writers pulled no punches when showing what civil rights protesters went through, which just made their nonviolent response all the more breathtaking. Allison’s fear and anger during those scenes were palpable even as she kept them hidden. But along with that horror, we see the kindness and warmth of the Dallas Black community, the women who take her in simply because she needs their help, and her love for Ray, perhaps heretofore THE most thoughtful husband ever portrayed on screen. I loved him, and I loved him and Allison together. While I understand and respect his choice to stay in 1963, I wish they’d gotten more time together. They both deserved it.

Vanya. We got to see how much the baggage from her past affected her by glimpsing what she might be like if it were taken away. It’s an interesting philosophical question, and it was explored well, in my opinion. She finds it easier to love and be loved, and she stands up for herself more readily—but she also doesn’t hesitate to use powers she can’t quite control and threatens Five without fully realizing how dire her threat is (or how it might dredge up traumatic memories she doesn’t know exist). The moment where Ben finds her curled up, fully convinced she’s a monster, was heartbreaking. I loved watching her find happiness with Sissy, even if that was fleeting (and dear god, Sissy deserved her happy ending with Vanya, dammit, I don’t care if it would fuck up the timeline). Her patience and sweetness with Harlan were just beautiful. And the way she used the confidence she gained during her amnesia to fully come into her own not to exact revenge on her siblings, but to save them, was fucking phenomenal.

The humor. There was a lot more humor this season, and it was awesome. So many iconic scenes—Olga Foroga, Luther babysitting two homicidal Fives, Elliot awkwardly lecturing his guests on the history of Jello, “NEW TIMELINE NEW ME,” “Your vagina needs glasses,” AJ the fish gobbling up the cigarette bubbles, Five getting to say “fuck”….this season was a lot funnier than the previous one, and I think that was one of its strengths.

Klaus’ cult. It was played for laughs, which I both expected and thought was the best way to handle it. He didn’t want to start a new religion with himself at the center; he just wanted to not get thrown out of any more diners, but Destiny’s Children had other ideas. The “I too am a fraud!” scene was hilarious and tickled the question of whether or not a religion founded on false pretenses can still help those within it find meaning.

Luther. Getting him away from his dad, his siblings, and the Academy was exactly what he needed to become the pure of heart and dumb of ass genius we always knew he was, but his first major step in that direction was heartbreaking. We all knew he’d be rejected once he got to the Academy. We all knew Reginald would rip his heart out and stomp on it in his admittedly fashionable shoes. It gets Luther out on his own and forces him to become his own person apart from his dad, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. He got the positive character development he needed, but the catalyst was tragic.

Diego. We see, for the first time, exactly how Reginald kept him in line—not with meds or with PTSD-inducing torture, but with words. Even when he knows Diego as little more than a stranger, Reginald is able to rip off his skin and fling it in his face with a single diatribe; and even at 30, with years away from his dad, Diego is left unable to speak, feeling as if all of his accomplishments up to that point were the work of a dumb kid who thought he was smarter and more capable than he actually was.

Luther and Diego sharing a braincell. Luther has bad ideas. Diego has bad ideas. When they put their bad ideas together, they get terrible ideas. I loved watching them work together as a team, rather than being at each others’ throats for most of the season, even if I’m left hoping Olga Foroga had a pleasant and quiet day after that phone call.

Reginald. At first glance, it may look like the writers were trying to make him likable so they could parade him around as your average abusive-parent-with-a-soft-side. But it’s more nuanced than that. Abusive parents (and abusers in general) often fly under the radar because they fool outsiders into thinking they’re good people. They’re active in their communities. They give to charity. They have friends who attest to their virtue, significant others who think they’re the greatest. And that’s what we see with Reginald. We see him as the rest of the world did: an intelligent, eccentric man with a sharp sense of humor who cared deeply about scientific advancement. That’s how he evaded suspicion—because there were stories from years past of lively parties at his mansion, of what a gentleman he was to Grace and of how he did everything he could to save little Pogo. But those stories would all have come from people he considered his equals. When he’s with people he considers his inferiors—aka, the Umbrella kids—he’s openly condescending and demeaning. We get to see how he fooled the world, and it is chilling.

Elliot. He deserved better, and you can ship him with any one of the Hargreeves kids and get the cutest thing ever. 

The Swedes. They said so much while speaking very little.

Ben. He got more personality and screen time, and it was glorious. His love of his family and resentment toward Klaus practically leapt off the screen. The way he says “I’ve missed you all…so much” once they’ve all left was one of those right-in-the-feels moments; and watching him get so much of what he’s wanted for years when he possesses Klaus was beautiful.

Now, as for things I took issue with….

Ben. I understand why they ended his arc the way they did. I get that they were probably afraid the Klaus/Ben dynamic would grow stale if they didn’t change it somehow and wanted to give him a larger role in S3. His death(???) was heartbreaking and extremely well-done. But it also wasn’t foreshadowed. We never got any sense of what ghosts in the TUA ‘verse are, so the fact they can be destroyed by a ton of sound-turned-energy or by going too far into someone’s psyche or whatever happened….it’s not that it doesn’t make sense so much as there’s not enough evidence to determine whether or not it makes sense. It feels like the writers just kinda made that up so they’d have a reason to change Ben’s relationship dynamics, but if that’s the case, couldn’t they have done it another way? Couldn’t they have made it so the immense energy or psychic woo-woo or whatever gave him a power-up instead of destroying him? Vanya transferred some of her energy into Harlan and brought him back to life. Couldn’t something similar have happened with Ben? And if it tied him to Vanya as well as to Klaus, great! More fodder for angst and humor! (”Vannyyyyyyyy, stop hogging Ben!” “You got him for 17 years, Klaus, you can part with him for 20 minutes.” “Guys, don’t I get a say in this?”) I’m glad they didn’t write him out of the series entirely, but I still wish they’d kept him and all the character development he’d gotten throughout S2.

Episode 10. It looks like they tried to cram half a season’s worth of developments into 45 minutes. Twenty minutes in, I’d already said “Wait what the fuck” half a dozen times. A lot of those moments were explained later on, and I was able to make enough inferences to fill in any lingering plot holes, but…still. Too much stuff, too little time. E9 was a perfectly satisfying ending to the season. Yes, it leaves the siblings stranded in 1963, but they could’ve tied up those loose ends in the S3 premiere.

Lila. She’s an incredibly fun character, but her arc is kind of a mess. Most of that is due to E10, and I do feel that more time to let her arc breathe would’ve worked wonders, but I’m left feeling like her turn from “Handler is the best mom ever and I lurve Diego too” to “KILL DIEGO AND HIS EVIL FAMILY” to “Handler is a bad mom and Diego is right” happened too quickly.

The Commission. Okay, so, the Handler announces the entire Board has been killed, and she’s stepping in as director even though everyone appears to know she’s been demoted (and demoted pretty severely—she went from having an office bigger than some apartments to being a case management drone). There’s suspicion and lots of it. But then, La Resistance is….ten or so people in a single room? And when she calls the temps agents to her side, thousands of them show up ready and willing to fight and die? I dunno. Just seems like there should’ve been more splintering going on there. Again, I think they needed more time to tie everything up.

Aside from those complaints, I loved the season. I set aside most of a day to binge it, and I do not regret that decision at all.

#the umbrella academy season 2 spoilers #tua s2 spoilers #umbrella academy season 2 spoilers #The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #tua #luther hargreeves #Diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #grace #pogo #number one #number two #number three #number four #number five #number six #number seven #anon #answered

[pinof]

Under the cut is the full transcript for The British Get Talking Podcast episode on October 8, 2020 with Dan!

[Interviewer:] Hello everyone! I'm Kylie Pentelow and here we are again. This is the second series of the "Britain Get Talking" podcast from ITV where I talk to some amazing people who open up about the mental well being. Today, Dan Howell is a YouTube star. He rose to fame through his comedy videos that have had more than a billion views. More recently, he's opened up on his YouTube channel about depression and his video "Basically I'm Gay" has had eleven million views. Dan is now writing a book about mental health and is an ambassador for YoungMinds. Dan is obviously funny, but he's also clever and sensitive. To me, it seems he's using his huge profile among young people to really make a difference. I loved talking to Dan and I hope you like listening to this podcast too. Dan, thanks so much for speaking to me today! How are you?

[Dan:] I am a big fan of saying "I'm fine." And that is the absolute worst, most British answer to that question that anyone can give. And it's what people say all the time. And, you know, for me, it's definitely- It's something that instantly says way too much. *laughs* Doesn't it? I mean, you can write a whole essay about "I'm fine" as an answer. "Oh, I don't want to inconvenience you. Oh, I don't want to bore you by talking about whatever I'm going through." And that's very me. I accept that one of my flaws is I don't want to put something on the other person. I don't want to start a whole thing that might bore them. I don't want to sound like I'm moaning, so I'll just go, "I'm fine!" And usually the tone in which I say "I'm fine" immediately betrays the fact that I'm- You know, might be clearly very stressed about something. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] Do you think your kind of friends would pick up or people you know would say, "Oh wait, you sure?" or would they delve deeper?

[Dan:] Everybody I know! They just look at me like, "Okay, Dan." *laughs* Cool, okay. So in ten minutes, we'll be talking about how you actually feel. We just need to get through the kind of ice breaking- Cause, you know, I'm that introvert and I'm quite socially awkward so it takes a while to melt the ice to get through to whatever's there.

[Interviewer:] You're hugely successful! You rose to fame with your YouTube videos. They are very funny!

[Dan:] Mhm. *laughs* Thank you!

[Interviewer:] But you have a few small serious ones in there recently. And you've spoken very openly about your depression. What prompted you to do it in the first place?

[Dan:] Yeah, so that was quite a journey. In case anyone doesn't know- Uh, hi, my name is Daniel Howell. *laughs* And as you say, I was mainly known for being somebody who uploaded comedy videos to YouTube. Which I think, Kylie, is something you and I have in common! I'm aware that you have some toes in the YouTube space.

[Interviewer:] Yeah! Oh my goodness. Back in the day, yeah.

[Dan:] Look at us! We got one toe in traditional media and the other in the Internet.

[Interviewer:] I love this. *laughs*

[Dan:] So yeah, these videos- They were something that I started when I was a teenager and they were just kind of comedy videos about everyday things. So I had like rants about how annoying people are at the airport or what it's like going on public transport. And then I'd, you know, move onto talking about things that people were arguing about in TV shows. It was all very funny. It was all very relatable. And as time went on, I started to be a bit more personal with the stories I was telling. I was saying, "You know what? I'm actually going to tell you today about the time I got fired." It was an awful time in my life but usually the things that are really awful are very funny to laugh at. And people liked that because I was sharing something personal. It was intimate. It made it even funnier because it was real and it was awful. You know, comedy is just tragedy and someone saying you're allowed to laugh at it. And it was in 2017- I'd gone through a few years where I really started to think about my own mental health seriously for the first time. Because I had quite an upsetting childhood, as someone who grew up gay. And I had a lot of issues with depression and various things and really had just never thought about it in my life until any point. And it was only when I was in my mid-twenties that for the very first time, I stepped back and I was like, "You know what? I'm feeling like this and this is something. It's not right and I should do something about it. I came to terms with the fact that I really had been struggling with depression for a very long time. And this is something that's obviously- It's quite hard to firstly accept on a personal level and then to tell anyone about: your friends and family. And for me, I was in this strange place because I had this career as this comedian who was known for sharing these things from my life and being very open and having this great relationship with my audience. And yet, it felt like there was this huge, kind of big secret dark cloud in my life that people didn't know about. And it was especially strange for someone who performs on stage and you know, who did jobs like the one I did on Radio One. And it felt like all the time, I was acting very funny. I was acting very happy and really there was this whole other side to me. And I just decided that for several reasons really, I had to get it out there just so people would know this fundamental thing about me so they'd understand a bit more about my story. But also that I felt, even in 2017, there was so much misconception around discussing mental health and what depression is. And so many people out there that felt like they needed to have this conversation held in a public place. So it was absolutely terrifying for me. But I decided to make one of my typical, you know, comedy videos where I tell stories and I talk about my opinions. Except I opened up about my depression and it was an absolutely huge moment in my life. And I remember being terrified when I hit that upload button. And the response I got was just so much more positive and powerful than I could've ever imagined. Not only because people were saying, "This is so much more compelling because it's real and you're being honest. But so many people had never really had depression explained to them? They were like, "I have loved ones that go through this. I have friends and I've seen it and now I understand it more." And so many other people said, "This is me. I was sat watching this." So people were saying, "I've been struggling with this for years and I didn't know how to talk about it to my family." Other people were saying, "I didn't even know this was me. Now I'm seeing it for the first time." And that really- You know, it was a moment that changed my life in my career for sure.

[Interviewer:] The thing I think you do really well in it is explain the difference between feeling sad and feeling depressed. Can you just explain that?

[Dan:] Well, we all feel sad many times. You know, we can watch a Disney movie and feel sad. *laughs* If something sad happens. But depression is when you notice for a long time that things aren't right. If you're not enjoying the things you should be enjoying. If you're having a real struggle just maintaining the basic things you should be doing: getting out of bed, feeding yourself, opening the curtains. If you feel like you've sunken into a hole. If you're not enjoying the things that you're doing. If you just don't have the energy- You don't want to socialize anymore. Then it's not just that you're feeling sad because an event. It may be that you are depressed and this isn't something that may just blow over. It's something that you need to really acknowledge and then do something to fix.

[Interviewer:] You also talk about how it affects things like your diet as well. Like that was quite a surprise to me. Sometimes you might feel like you might not want to eat at all. Sometimes you eat to try to make yourself feel better.

[Dan:] Absolutely. Yeah, some people when they feel depressed, they just can't eat because you know- I mean, cooking's an effort. I'm one of those people that hates cooking. I mean, I love eating. I hate cooking. So yeah. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] I'm with you.

[Dan:] And this was me sometimes. I would just go, "I don't want to cook." And then I would lay in bed all day and I wouldn't eat. And then another day, I would be feeling, you know, so self indulgent, I'd be like, "I'm going to order just the most decadent, gross amount of pizza no human should be able to consume in one sitting." And then do that just to fill the hole inside my soul with carbohydrates. And that may make you feel good for about ten minutes and then when you're digesting it all the next day, you realize that it's actually just another kind of self destructive behavior.

[Interviewer:] You also talk about medication as well, which I think was really brave. Cause even though lots of people might talk about feeling depressed, they don't share that they're talking any medication for it. In fact, the other day, my close friend shared with me that she was taking antidepressants. And I've known her for a decade and she's never told me that. Actually, it was because she's been listening to this podcast, which is great that she felt that she could share that. But do you think that is important to get the whole kind of picture out there?

[Dan:] I think there's a big stigma around taking medication, which is strange as an absolutely huge amount of the population are taking medication for all kinds of things. And antidepressants are very common. And of course we're saying this knowing that anyone listening- You should always consult a professional. Go to your doctor. Speak to them. For some people, medication works. For some people, it doesn't. It's one of many options but it's definitely something that- It can have big effects on how you behave. On how you need to live day to day. And you shouldn't be afraid of telling people that. It doesn't mean that you're broken. *laughs* It means that you're taking a step to try and get help and be better. And it's brave to share that, so I would encourage anyone that feels bad about the fact that they take medication to try to be more casually open about it. Which I appreciate can be really difficult because it just has this knock on effect of making everyone less ashamed.

[Interviewer:] What was that, kind of, first step like for you? Was it speaking to your family? Or was it going to the doctor when you sought professional help?

[Dan:] Well, the first time I sought professional help I think was when I was at University. I was going through a really hard- Kind of quarter life crisis time where I was thinking, "Oh, what am I doing with my life? Why am I enjoying what I'm doing?" And I just realized that I wasn't functioning on a day to day level. *laughs* And I spoke to one of the counselors at University and this was a positive experience. You know, sometimes if people talk about their mental health at their work place or their University, you hear these horror stories. I had one of those good examples where there was this lovely lady and she said, "It sounds like you have depression and if you need to take some time out of school to do that, then that's the right thing to do." And then I went to the doctor and then you know, we spoke and he said, "Yes, it sounds like this." And that was the first time I acknowledged it. And the first time for the few years, I kind of acknowledged it but I didn't actively work on it that much. And as I said, it was a few years later, when I was in my mid-twenties, when I was like, "No. If this is my normal, this isn't right. And it's something I need to make an effort to pull myself out of."

[Interviewer:] You are writing a book at the moment about this, aren't you? I wonder how that's been because sometimes, it's great, isn't it? To talk about stuff and other times, you actually just wanna be a bit quiet and deal with things, you know, in your own way. But I wonder whether a book has kind of open more things up for you.

[Dan:] Yeah, I mean, you know- Talk about coming out of the closet. Which is something I also literally did. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] We'll talk about that in a sec. *laughs*

[Dan:] Yeah, so the book is called "You Will Get Through This Night" and it is coming out in May next year. So it's only around preorder now, but people can find it on Amazon if they're interested. And it's quite wild for someone like me to write it. The book is a hand book. It's a tool for people to understand their mental health and to make changes to their improve their lives. And the idea behind it is that we are all kind of in this state where as humans in our modern society, there's various things that we feel ashamed to talk about. There's a stigma approaching various things. If we do certain things, we're viewed as weak. We don't want to admit certain things to ourselves and this is about breaking down all of those things and going, "Actually, all of these behaviors that so many of us do day to day are self destructive. These attitudes we have towards these certain things are totally wrong. We need to change the way we think about these things. We need to forgive ourselves slightly more. We need to be more patient." And also just understanding how all the things you do on a day to day basis affect your mental health. Sleep, exercise, socializing. Every single time you have a thought, you need to check that thought and go, "Am I being completely unreasonable and putting myself in a position where I'm going to have a crazy amount of stress or if I'm going to make myself really anxious." And the hope is that with this book, a lot of people will realize, "Oh my god, I do all of these things day to day and I had no idea what profound effect all of these things had on my life." I'm spicing it up slightly by obviously sharing my personal journey- *laughs* With all of these things and as you say- That is quite, uh, a strange experience for me because I- It's obviously been extremely helpful. I mean, it's been blowing my mind just writing this book. The whole thing done in consultation with a qualified psychologist, so obviously I know what I'm talking about when I'm giving this advice. And when I was reading all of the theory for me to turn into this book, I was just sat there myself- *laughs* As I would hope people would be when they read it thinking, "Oh my god, I'm awful! I need to give myself a break. We do all of these things all the time? And I'm making myself feel like this for no reason? That's crazy!" And came to saying, "Right, on this topic, I'm going to share with you what my journey has been dealing with this. Here's my stories about it. It's been simultaneously quite cathartic and to be honest, quite difficult revisiting a lot of these things. Especially if you go through things when you're younger or if you feel that there's certain things that you've moved past from. Then it can be quite upsetting to revisit these things and whilst initially, it was quite a jump to get into that, it definitely makes you realize that confronting things with a clear head, with the best of intentions and some honesty looking at yourself- It really makes you feel a lot better on the other side.

[Interviewer:] How do you cope with doing what you do because the industry you've chosen to work in- Not only like putting yourself out there on YouTube, but also saying, "I'm funny. Look at me, I'm going to make you laugh." You know, that must put a lot of pressure on you. But also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing it can sometimes it can be a bit solitary as well? How do you deal with all of that going on?

[Dan:] Oh god, yeah. I picked as a complete introvert with crippling social anxiety and mild agoraphobia- I picked the absolute worst career possible. *laughs*

[Interviewer:] Yeah!

[Dan:] But maybe, that's why the material is so honest. *laughs* You know? That's why I have so much to work with. I think that, you know, there is an element of being forced to confront your demons that probably helps accelerate my internal growth process. And especially from the comedy perspective, there is a fine line between saying, "I'm going to open myself up for people to laugh at my stories and kind of appreciating that I need to save a bit vulnerability." And it- You know, it was crazy. I made a video called "Trying To Live My Truth" about the concept of authenticity and how in life, if generally, if we aren't being authentic- And this isn't just doing a career that we love. It may be being honest in the relationships that we have day to day in really being true to ourselves about what we want to be doing, where we want to be. If you kind of lie to yourself and go, "Oh, I'm just going to do this for a bit to do here. I'm only having a relationship with these people for now." Eventually, it'll get to you and it will wear you down. That was a really hard thing for me to talk about because I was saying, "There's so many aspects of my life where right now, I feel like I'm not being authentic and I'm realizing it's really taking a toll of me. So some people may have to appreciate that I'm going to have to tell them things and I may not be the person that they thought I was but this is something that I have to do if I need to be happier."

[Interviewer:] We talked earlier about how, you know, you've done some more serious videos. But actually, even your video about depression is really funny. And obviously it's really great to be talking about mental health but we need to not be too worthy about it, don't we? And just- I was watching that video feeling really connected to what you were saying and then a second later, I was laughing out loud and actually, it reminded me a bit of "After Life"- Ricky Gervais' show. I don't know if you watch that but.

[Dan:] *laughs* Yeah, definitely.

[Interviewer:] It's that very fine line that- You know, in one of his scenes, I remember when he was talking to his dad that I was crying and then literally the next second, I was laughing out loud. And I just felt- That's such a positive thing that you do and is that a real conscious thing that you do?

[Dan:] I mean, my default is to always kind of break the tension by making people laugh. And there's a side to that like, "Okay, we can laugh about it but eventually we're going to have to be a bit serious." So you need a bit of both but I think especially when talking about these difficult topics, just making it funny- It breaks that ice. And often by pointing out the silly things that happen as a result of these things, you know, I've been making fun of the fact that I'm depressed all day and my friend's just like pouring popcorn all over my head. Like, "Come on! Enjoy the things that you used to enjoy." It's like okay, that's really silly. That's really goofy. And it's like- But it kind of is silly, you know? And then me kind of taking a step back and realizing, "Yeah, me lounging around in bed all day. Yeah me being afraid to go outside for this reason or that." There are little things that are relatable. They're just a bit silly. And when you can laugh at that- I mean, just laughing or smiling once. We can talk about the health of people with depression. Sometimes putting on a bit of comedy and watching something can really save the day. So I think that there's a real benefit to even the most difficult topics, finding something to make people laugh. It makes it easier.

[Interviewer:] Let's talk about your video that's- I don't know how many millions of views it's got. "Basically I'm Gay." Tell me about that video and why that was important to make.

[Dan:] So that was essentially a coming out video. I mean, I would say it was the biggest moment of my life in a lot of ways. Because I've had a real struggle with sexuality my entire life. I think I've known, on some level, that I was some kind of gay since I was a small child. And I had an incredibly difficult time in school with bullying. I had difficult relationships with some of my family members and it was honestly- It was quite traumatic and I never really realized it because I got used to that state of just accepting that this is the way things are and getting on with it to survive. Kind of very extreme version of the British stiff upper lip to get -on with it. And it was only really when I reached kind of 27/28 when I was like, "Oh my god. No, this is awful! *laughs* I've got so much baggage. I've got a heathrow carousel in my cupboard over here." It was terrible. And I ran away from this entire subject of sexuality because it was just difficult. And there was so much wrapped up in it. And for any courage that it took me for me to talk about mental health or even just, you know, terrible things that happened to me that may be embarrassing when I'm on stage in a little routine or something. For me to not just talk publicly about my sexuality and everything that went into it but just to accept it myself was a huge journey. And you know, it's called internalized homophobia and it's basically from growing up in such a homophobic environment. I was brainwashed, really, to kind of hate myself and not accept the fact of who I was. And this was such a huge part of my mental health-  My entire life. To the point where I only acknowledge it truly a few months before I made that video. I think when I was talking about that authenticity thing, I was just like, "I'm a sham." I was on a world tour with my friend. We did a stage show and went to eighteen countries. Think we met about fifty thousand people at these little meet and greets before the shows. And so many people would come up to me and they would be so honest. Some people would cry and they'd just say, "You opening up about depression gave me the strength to turn my life around." Or, "You talking about athenticity made me quit my job." There were other people that said, "I want to come out to my parents just because you talked about being authentic and about your mental health and these things." And I felt like a complete fraud because here I was- I was supposed to be this guy who made the funny videos but at the same time, I was talking about these topics and I was being open about myself. And I was just like, "The hugest thing is still completely hidden and it's something that I know I'm hiding from myself." And I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. So I uploaded this video saying, "I really just need to think about how I can be more authentic because I felt like I've hit this road block in my life where I just can't continue. I've done it for too long. I've put it off and I just feel like in every aspect of my life, I've hit that wall. And until I break through it, I just can't do anything." And I basically disappeared from the Internet for about a year. And in that year, it was a complete journey where I said, I needed to acknowledge it for myself. I realized if I ever wanted to talk about this publicly, there's so many things I need to do. I need to come out to my family. I need to tell friends. I need to think about how it's going to affect my work life and I really just went on this complete crash course of a life wrecking in the start of 2019. *laughs* And it was a huge journey. As I said, I'm this huge socially awkward person so the idea of coming out to my family. Oh, I just couldn't do it. It was just awful. I remember it was Boxing Day 2018 and all my family were just sat watching "Chicken Run" or something. And I was like, "I'm gonna do it. I have to do it at some point, you know? I have to tell the family." And it's this awful thing coming out- It's like nobody wants it to be a big deal. *laughs* It's just because that we live in this world where people are presumed to be straight, it's not like gay people want to cause a big scene by coming out. They have to. Because no matter what, when you tell somebody, it's going to be a big surprise usually. So I'm the last person that wanted to make it all about me. God, I just want to blend into the background. I was thinking, "I'm going to have to completely blow up this Christmas." And I couldn't do it. So I thought that was the perfect opportunity and it's gone now. My family- For about two months, I was just like, "Aw, I ruined it.  I ruined it. That was my one chance."

[Interviewer:] Oh gosh, that must have been so stressful! You're just carrying that around.

[Dan:] Oh, it was awful! Yeah and then I went for dinner with my mum. And I was like, "Okay, intimate. I'll do this." And then again, I was like, "I don't want to ruin my mum's birthday by making it all about me." *laughs* Then I left having failed to do it then and I went, "Right, this is getting stupid now." So you know what I did? I wrote an email to all of my family. Just CC'd them on an email and just said, "Hi. Basically I'm gay. Let me know if you want to talk about it. Bye!" And I just hit send and closed my laptop. That is very much- That is the Dan Howell strategy of throwing the hand grenade, closing the door, and going, "Whoops!" And then I got the phone calls and you know, thankfully I think that we're living in a much more kinder, accepting world than we did twenty years ago. I think that we can see when it comes to all kinds of things- The world is getting a lot more smarter and educated and just accepting and more kind. So the reception that I got from my family in 2019 was very kind and loving accepting. And it was really kind of wonderful. It felt like this huge, colossal weight had been lifted from me where I felt like there was this wall between me and my family my entire life, where there was just something that was unsaid. Something that would've explained so much. A fundamental part of who I was. It was so important to get that out there. And as you said earlier, just you know, as someone that as a public figure. As an entertainer who talks about myself for my career, getting this out there? I don't know. It was just absolutely profound so I spent months and months writing this video. And for people that don't know, you'd expect a YouTube video to be a twenty second video of a cat falling down the stairs or something. I ended up putting this forty five minute- *laughs* It was basically a stand up special that I filmed in my office. It was dense. I was like, "Look, if I'm going to talk about sexuality, I've got say strap yourselves in people." And yeah, the moment I hit go on that, it transformed my entire life. It was really just this feeling of this pressure lifting all around me and it felt like age 28, that I finally alive for the first time. And my life had only just begun. Because only now was I actually out there. People knew who I was and I could kind of begin living authentically in world where people actually knew who I was. And that's crazy.

[Interviewer:] Do you wished you'd done it earlier or do you think it was the right time?

[Dan:] *sighs* I do wish I did it earlier. What I would say to anybody- You may be somebody queer in the closet thinking about doing this or you may just be someone who wants to open up to your loved ones about the fact that you may be depressed. Or you just want to be honest about the things in your life saying, "You know what? I really hate my job and it's ruining my life." Or something about the relationships in the life or the friendships. They're just not working. You cannot sit on these things forever. Confronting them an be so difficult. I mean, look at me. I basically went into a cave for a year- *laughs* And had the most socially awkward time ever dealing with it. And it was so difficult but I cannot tell you how free it felt afterwards. So that's definitely something I want everybody listening to this to take away.

[Interviewer:] Did you look at the comments on the video? And if you did, what were they like?

[Dan:] Yeah. I mean, I try not to- *laughs* You know, see what people are saying about me too much but I did. It was all very nice and as I say, you know, I wish I would've done it earlier in my life but I don't think I could've done it earlier in my life. And I didn't. And that was for a reason. I just couldn't have. I just wasn't in the place to. I did it when I did and thankfully we're in a world now that's so much better. And my audience that I have is so kind and loving and accepting. Because you know, I cultivated a following of people that liked me being open about mental health and sharing the most awkward, stupid stories from my life. So when I shared the biggest thing, what was there waiting for me was a community of people that were there to be supportive. And that was just- You know, I feel so lucky that I had that really positive experience. So just like the depression video, people were saying, "I feel seen by this." Or, "I now finally understand what it's like for gay people in a way that I didn't before. I can talk to my mum. I can show my mum this. I'm straight and I had no idea. This is amazing." And just to see that a byproduct of me being honest about myself managed to help people- It really, you know, it helps! *laughs* Cause it's safe to say that I've struggled a lot. I'm someone that is very, very good at beating myself up. I don't ever taking a win. People always say that about me. If something goes very well, they'll be like, "How'd it go Dan?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah. It was alright." "What do you mean? It went great?" And I was like, "Yeah, yeah! It's fine." *laughs* So yeah definitely, I feel very lucky it's gone as well as it did.

[Interviewer:] You're an ambassador for YoungMinds as well and you know, you're obviously speaking out, "Hey!" And for your YouTube videos. Do you think there is still a stigma particularly attached to young people and mental health?

[Dan:] I think that definitely young people- When you get into teenage years, everyone's very defensive and they're very aggressive. And I think that a lot of people go into- Especially the school environment feeling scared. They don't want to be judged by other people. They don't want to seem weak. They're proactively feeling scared and defensive and aggressive to protect themselves from being harmed by people cause you're just so scared. So definitely. People don't want to admit that they have anxiety. I think that young queer people might not feel like you know, "I can't do this now. It's not worth the risk." And I think that the YoungMinds charity, which is part of the Royal Foundation that Harry and Will support, does such amazing jobs cause they not only create material to help young people understand, "If you're feeling like this, you might have anxiety. That's not normal. And here's how to help." But they also reach out to parents to say, "This is how you can observe these things that may be happening in your family and realize it may be silent. It may not be talking about it. It may be this huge issue happening right in front of you." And as well, they're helping the schools cause I think it's definitely safe to say that schools could do it a lot better in protecting mental health of the young people that go to them. So it's definitely one of the off shoots of me opening up about depression. Being apart of this amazing charity that does such great work. It helps me sleep at night.

[Interviewer:] And we'll hear, um, about an appeal actually to raise money for mental health including Mind and YoungMinds in a minute. It's so important, isn't it? That they exist. That they're even out there for us.

[Dan:] It's a lifeline for people because I think that anyone who struggled with any mental health issue listening to this would know that that one conversation- That first conversation. First olive branch that you get reaching out to you. That could be what saves your life. So it may feel like, "Oh, we've talked about this enough. Doesn't everyone know about mental health right now?" And there may be someone listening to this that's going, "You know what? That's me. I've got that thing that I haven't shared yet. I need to have that conversation. I need to have that one moment where someone listens to me, acknowledges how I feel." And definitely, it's just such a huge part of everyone's life. And it's completely silent. There's still so much more to do.

[Interviewer:] I hate this word, Dan, but I'm gonna say it. It sounds like you've been on a real journey. *laughs* I can't think of a better word.

[Dan:] *laughs* Oh no. I've been full hobbit there and back again, yeah. It's been a real around the world adventure. And you can watch it all on the internet, god.

[Interviewer:] I wonder if you could talk about kind of just the lowest point but then the kind of real highs. Cause then, at the moment, it sounds like you're in a really good place.

[Dan:] I mean, I'm definitely in a better place. I think that none of us should ever feel like we've solved all our issues and we're fine. You know, that was me, age 22. I was like, "Cool! Apparently I've got depression. That's fine. I know what to do it." It's like no, you need to- You need to make an effort. You need to really think about all the things in your life. You need to talk to a doctor. I think that, you know, for me- My lowest point was definitely when I was teenager. There was a point where I actually tried to take my own life because the struggles that I had with my sexuality were just so extreme within my friend group and school and everything that I was hearing from the world. I just really felt like, "I'm broken. This is not right." I looked at the world around me and I thought, "There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere else. I know everything." So it was that impulse impulse is what I think people in this situation feel. Where they just think, "This isn't about anyone and this isn't a rational decision, but I just feel like there's nowhere to go. And I need to hit the escape hatch." And I was so wrong because as I got older and time progressed, I just realized that the world is so big. And even if you feel like you're trapped in a situation, time can change everything. And if I just knew how much the world would change. How much my life would change. Not just with my career, but just moving to a different city. Meeting new people. I wasn't stuck. There was nothing like that and that was definitely the lowest point. And I feel so glad that I managed to make through that time. And the fact that you know, I made it through all these years and- *laughs* This journey that I went on. Kind of very publicly. Going from like- I think I even made a YouTube video just before I got a job at Radio One saying, "I'm going to drop out of Law School to try to make it as an entertainer." And everyone at the time was like, "You're an idiot. What are you doing? What?!" *laughs* Cause this before anyone had a career on the internet, you know? They were like, "Okay,so the BBC wants to give you this job. That's kind of cool. But are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer? That seems cool." My granddad was not happy.

[Interviewer:] I'm bet. *laughs*

[Dan:] You can see this whole journey and you know, from doing everything I did with Radio One to writing a book and to end up in a position where me just going on the journey that I need to go on personally ends up being shared with the world- That can do something for other people is just a bonus that makes me feel just really happy. Not just personally, but for the state that the world is in.

[Interviewer:] Aw Dan, it's been so nice chatting to you today. Thank you so much for your time.

[Dan:] It's been really nice. It's been like a therapy session. It's very cathartic! [Interviewer:] That's good! I'm for me. Great! Dan, thanks so much.

[Dan:] Thank you very much. Have a nice day, everyone.

#dan and phil #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell

[tariah23]

I don’t pay attention to Boruto but I’m choking up blood at that scene where Sakura was sitting her ass on the floor talking about some “I’m not strong like you, Sasuke-“ while his back was turned to her, probably about to leave 😭… girl, GET UP! Sakura was already kind of… but they made her even more of a clown in that spin off. It’s not like her character was ever really respected to begin with. She was always pretty awful. She has her good moments and I really enjoyed them but Kishimoto never did anything to make her feel important to the story outside of her being a medical ninja for convenience. I won’t even talk about sssk since it’s whatever, man. I will say that I DON’T dislike Sarada at all, she’s cute as hell, (I hate Naruto’s kids lol. The only other kids I don’t mind are Orochimaru’s son, and some others… um, Ino and Sai are winning at everything. They’re kid is cute!) but whenever I think about her, I kind of just like to forget that Sakura is the Mother and go with the “Sasuke had a secret child” thing since it’s funnier and sssk is just depressing all around. I will not elaborate on this at all but man, what a mess. Imagine chasing after a dude who never liked you, literally pressuring/ BEGGING him to let you follow him on his little travels, probably coming on too strong at one point to where he finally gave in to you because you wouldn’t fucking leave him alone (I’m sure she forced her affection onto him. Not in a r*pey way but if you know Sasuke’s character at all then you’d also know that him doing anything like this, especially with someone who he barely even perceives like Sakura, then you can kind of use basic context clues to fit the pieces together and get how weird this was. He never even saw her as a friend so why would they skip directly to romance? Fucking is another thing though. It took N himself many years to crack Sasuke’s fat ass brain open like an egg (they were cracking each other’s brains open so nvm) so why would Someone like Sakura, who was never really important to him to begin with, be able to scratch him? The writing…) and I’m 100% sure that Sarada was most likely an accident so that’s why he probably said “fuck it,” and married her, leaving Sakura behind for 10 years, never calling, texting, or visiting at all… Kishimoto hated Sakura sm. She could’ve been so much more but no, now she’s sitting on the floor like a dog talking to Sasuke, what the fuck, girl 🚶🏾‍♀️? I like those Future AU’s where she’s over her forced Sasuke crush and is just content with being his friend and totally over him because it’s sm more better than whatever… B*ruto is. I never hated Sakura, either. Her design is really nice? too, like pink and burgundy or whatever ❤️🥺… I just wished she were written like she meant something to the story. Most of the girls fall so fucking flat, man. She’s the worst, though.

#outside of the whole free sasuke movement #man… sakurasjajak girl wtf #she’s even more… who wrote this… if only her whole character didn’t consist of having a crush on sasuke #her crush on him never stood apart from any of the other little girls who liked him so the fact that she was that crazy over him always felt #incredibly lazy #especially #all because he was cool and handsome but nothing deeper than that #she could’ve had ino… #that stupid ass novel that went ‘if only ino or Sakura were born a man then maybe they could’ve fallen in ❤️’ who wrote that offical light #novel lol… L #so much of b*ruto is a mess #because of how S just… that is not him #I don’t care for sssk but it’s ooc for someone who’s whole thing was about avenging his people his family etc leaving his *family behind #I just don’t see him doing such a thing but I do understand him not wanting to be in Konoha as often either #but then that’s completely contradicted because of that one panel where S is like N and I are willing to die for konoha at anytime like um #this is not you 🥺… my brother you are in shackles you are losing your sense of self- #and N… for someone who was so lonely and starved for love and attention I will always shake my head at how his character had been handled in #b*ruto… someone like that would find the time to spend with his children not neglect them when you know how it feels to be stepped over like #garbage #I don’t care about nh at all either but eek #there’s just sm things to go on about #like the concept of b*ruto isn’t the worst but nothing is handled appropriately and people can argue that well they’re adults now and people #change but why would such important things to characters like N and S be omitted like they never meant anything to begine with… so ooc #the only good thing about the series is that we get to see more S and N even if they’re kinda dusty #rambling

[formless-monkeys]

What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors. 

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team. 

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well. 

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further. 

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it. 

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship. 

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic, 

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point. 

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that. 

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context. 

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding. 

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack. 

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life. 

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want. 

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of. 

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help. 

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does. 

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded. 

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro. 

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that. 

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

#srmthfg #super robot monkey team hyperforce go #srmthg #chinmay #Mandotto #Mantauri #Mandareena #Manokko #Captain Alchemist #Ottauri #Polymonkeys #Gibottarx #Anonymous

[birbleafs]

[fic] Strange Creatures

Series: Artemis Fowl Rating: G Genre: Friendship & Humour, Post-series Character(s): Beckett Fowl, Myles Fowl, Mulch Diggums, Juliet Butler, Holly Short and Artemis Fowl II Summary: Mulch Diggums finds himself abruptly enlisted by the Fowl twins, Myles and Beckett, to create the best Eldest Brother’s Day gift for Artemis, much to Holly and Juliet’s amusement. A/N: Here’s my full piece for the Artemis Fowl Fanzine: A Fowl Mood! It was really fun to be part of this project - many thanks to the mods & fellow contributors for all their hard work. Thanks also to my bro Digi for being a wonderful beta ♥  There are still some leftover merch for sale if anyone’s interested. This fic is set a few years after The Last Guardian, without taking into account the events in The Fowl Twins (as I’d finished writing it last July). Fic can also be read on AO3. _______

“What strange creatures brothers are!” -Jane Austen- ~.*.~ Mulch Diggums was once again on the run and back to his old habits of skulking among dastardly rich Mud Men, pilfering trinkets and valuables from their homes. And once again, word of his not-quite-earnest—or legal, for that matter—endeavours soon reached the LEP’s ears. In fact, his current whereabouts had turned up as a flashing blip on Foaly’s screens when the centaur had been running one of his routine surveillance sweeps of the surface. That, however, is another story altogether, one that Foaly would happily indulge in if you let him. But Captain Holly Short is a busy elf—short on time and even shorter with patience. So alas, Foaly’s tale would have to be shelved. For now, at least.

So it was that Mulch found himself abruptly cornered by an LEP Retrieval squad in his own home—well, he was house-sitting at the moment, but hey, same difference—just as he was settling into a nice, warm mud bath. That’s the thing about the LEP. Always with the atrociously bad timing, never an ounce of tact. So much for being role models, upstanding fairies of the People. The last thing Mulch saw and heard was a deafening blast as the bathroom door burst wide open, and the zipping sound of a fabric-like netting whirling tight around him. There was a flurry of movement as he struggled in the velvet darkness enclosing him, before he found himself promptly hauled back to Haven City and into the dimly-lit interior of a drab holding room, sitting once again before Captain Short. “Holly! Mon chéri… Compadre!” Mulch cooed, tuning his natural dwarfish charm up a notch. “How’s my favourite elfin lady today?” “Cut the chatter, Mulch. I’m sure you know exactly why you’ve been detained.” Truthfully, Holly didn’t have any hard evidence for Mulch’s arrest this time—not yet, at least. But Mulch had hardly ever been innocent, even when he wasn’t actively committing a crime, so it wasn’t too difficult for her to pretend the LEP knew of his most recent of illegal endeavours (which they didn’t). Besides, she’d lost a stupid bet during a party several weekends ago, and—well. You reap what you sow. Holly made a mental note to never take another sip of a certain centaur’s home concoction of sim-alcohol, recreational study or not. Anyway, back to the plot: She had lost a bet and now she had to pull this dumb prank on Mulch in return for a favour for a certain Mud Boy’s family. Holly could almost hear said Mud Boy’s tired sigh of disapproval upon hearing of his friends’ latest shenanigans. Still, she’d also promised Artemis she would visit the twins soon and she figured this was a nifty way to kill two birds with one stone. Technically, it would be two Fowls and a dwarf. Holly chuckled at her own joke, certain that Artemis wouldn’t have appreciated that quip at all, figurative murder or not. Before Mulch had a chance to explain his innocence this time, Holly began listing down the years he’d have to serve, the cell block they had carefully picked out for him this time, the terribly cold draft they had made sure would pass into said cell every night. And just as Mulch was about to get suspicious, Holly shifted gears and offered a compromise instead. Even though he was still confused and rightfully wary of the sudden turn of events, Mulch tentatively accepted Holly’s deal. And soon, he found himself whisked away on a shuttle topside, piloted by the Captain herself. “So where are we headed?” Mulch asked once he’d settled comfortably into his seat. “Now that it’s just you and me, Captain… I’m allowed to be privy to the details of said ‘deal’, right?” Holly was tempted to reveal the truth then, but she figured it’d be funnier if she let the dwarf discover it for himself. Mulch was a crafty one, after all—it wouldn’t take him too long to realise what was really going on. She only gave him a knowing smirk and murmured ominously, “All things in good time, Mulch.” * From the E1 shuttle port at Tara, it was a quick jaunt to the Fowl Manor. Holly could already hear the voices of the twins drifting over the wind as they made their way past the last cluster of Artemis’ fairy roses and to where the twins and their nanny Juliet Butler were seated by the fountain in the courtyard. Seven-year-old Beckett Fowl was the first to glance their way; Holly could’ve sworn the child had canine-like senses, what with the way he had whirled around at their near-silent approach. He was the very picture of innocence as he bounced up to them, his radiant curls and bright-eyed stare reminiscent of an eager golden retriever puppy. “Holly’s here! And S’Mulch Dinggus!” Beckett squealed happily as he launched himself at her. Holly embraced him warmly, before waving a greeting to Juliet who stood patiently behind the boy. The dwarf tutted, unimpressed at the butchering of his name. “We’ve been through this the last time, little Mudskipper. It’s Mulch Diggums.” “That’s what I said,” Beckett giggled, turning back to look at Juliet. “S’Mulch Dinggus. Funny he can’t remember his own name.” Before Mulch could get a protest in edgewise, he was interrupted by a small, polite cough. He turned and saw a bespectacled, raven-haired Mud Child appearing by Beckett’s side. Myles Fowl had the same piercing blue eyes as his free-spirited twin, but unlike his twin, he was the seemingly more precocious and finicky of the two. He looked every bit the likeness of his eldest brother, Mulch noted humorously—from the meticulously pressed suit and tie to the neatly-combed dark hair. Heck, the kid had even perfected the infamous Fowl glare to an art form, crystalline and frigid as an Arctic winter. “You’re finally here as summoned, Mister Mulch,” Myles greeted solemnly. He ignored the wet, icky sounds of Beckett blowing raspberries beside him. “Took you long enough.” “Summoned?” Mulch frowned, before a thought struck him. He grinned toothily at Holly. “So that’s what this is about, eh, Captain Short? ‘Detained’, my hairy as—” “Language, Mulch,” Holly said, stepping on the dwarf’s toes all while matching his grin with a serene, innocent smile of her own. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry I had a Retrieval squad jump you back there in the house. But it’s not like you were likely to be agreeable and come quietly if you knew the Fowl twins had extended an invitation and personally requested for your…er, assistance.” “Is not invitatitions,” Beckett chirped as he chewed on a piece of purple beeswax crayon. “Arty said summons would do in the tongue of magicks, so we summons S’Mulch!” He gave a sagely nod, his mouth stained and flecked with purple now. Mulch gave Holly a look of disappointment. “Frankly, I’m hurt you think I’d even pass up the chance to humiliate my favourite Mud Boy, and what’s more, by teaming up with his own cute brethren. Okay then, little Fowl nuggets. What dwarfish advice would you need this time?” “First of all, we’re not nuggets,” Myles said coldly, just as Beckett clucked like a gleeful hen and made flapping motions with his arms. “I assure you that we are still one-hundred percent Homo sapiens, even if Beck has gotten very good at animal mimicry of late.” “I see this one’s got a great sense of humour,” Mulch observed drily. “Definitely Artemis’ brother.” “A-hem. As I was saying...” Myles scowled at the interruption, and Mulch held up a placating hand in apology. “Secondly, Beck and I, we thought it through for many weeks—Well, I did anyway. However, we weren’t able to make any significant progress in the lab even with Professor Primate’s expertise—” “Not quite sure where you’re going with this riveting story, kiddo,” Mulch muttered. “But I’m still listening, if that helps.” “—and after several failed attempts, we have conceded that we need help from someone with the right skills. Skills we do not yet possess.” Myles paused, his young face pinched with doubt. But his hesitation was fleeting, and he met both Mulch and Holly’s curious expressions with a determined gaze once more. “We want to throw Arty the best surprise Eldest Brother’s Day when he gets back,” the boy said. “So, would you please honour us, Mister Mulch, and teach us how best to make—” “Flatulence!” Beckett crowed as if on cue, punching a fist victoriously into the air. “Please, brother. Not this again.” Myles groaned. “You boys want me to teach you how to let a mighty rip?” Mulch asked, incredulous. “No, that’s not it!” Myles cried, exasperated. “Beck has gotten it all muddled! He means the fettling process used in pottery, not the crude effusion of intestinal gas!” He tugged frantically at Beckett’s sleeve, trying to stop his twin from belting out his favourite self-composed tune called A Song of Gas and Fire, to no avail. For two whole minutes, the group was forced to listen to Beckett’s high-pitched singing of “Pbbthh, pbbthh, rattle-boom! Gas and fire, gas and fire! Heave-ho, the window’s blown!” “Thanks, little Mudskipper, for that, uh, delightful performance,” said Mulch, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes once Beckett had finished his song. “I gotta say, you sure are a natural. But there’s still something I don’t really get. Why would you need my help for the surprise? Like don’t get me wrong, kiddos, I like you two enough. But what’s wrong with Holly or Juliet here, or even Butler himself? If anything, they’re better suited at picking out the mushy gifts...” He trailed off, thinking hard. “Well, I trust the Big Man’s taste for the sentimental, at least.” “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Mulch,” Juliet deadpanned, with only the slightest roll of her eyes. “It’s true Butler had some good suggestions for gifts, but this is a Fowl twins initiative, so we figured we’d let the kids decide on their own. Besides, Beck had other ideas.” “My ideas the best ideas!” Beckett chanted, beaming brightly. “We decided that we want to make Arty a sculpture for Eldest Brother’s Day.” Myles supplied, glancing at Mulch once again. “We know that Mister Mulch is highly attuned to the necessities of good clay work by virtue of his biological make-up— “S’Mulch is good with muds and gas! I wanna learn how to blast clay backwards too!” “—therefore, you are best suited to teach us how to sculpt and—” “And flatulence!” Mulch tried his best, he really did, but he couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer. He didn’t know which was funnier: the thought of the twins gifting Artemis Fowl, ex-criminal virtuoso and menace of the People, a squishy caricature blob of his miniature being or Beckett performing a pompous and fartastical symphony of A Song of Gas and Fire for his dear eldest brother. Either way, he was rightfully tickled and the twins were in luck. Unbeknownst to many, Mulch had spent some time dabbling in pottery and sculpting with clay when he’d lived amongst the celebrity Mud Men; he had chalked it up as weird hobby of sorts.  “You Mud twins are hilarious,” he said, once his laughter had subsided and he’d managed to straighten himself up again. “All right, I’m sold on this crazy venture. I’ll help with the sculpting of a masterpiece for ol’ Arty-boy.” From the corner of his eye, he caught a glance of Juliet’s smug expression. Her lips were curved into a wide Cheshire grin as she tapped Holly’s shoulder expectantly. The elf only groaned, before she reached into her back pocket to fish out a single gold coin and slipped it into Juliet’s fingers. Mulch frowned at the exchange, throwing them his best hurt-puppy look. “Running a betting pool on me and for only a single gold coin? I’m affronted, ladies.” “You only wish your crooked mug is worth half a penny,” Holly shrugged. “I’m being generous because Juliet’s a friend.” “Aww, I knew you were a big old softie inside!” Juliet sighed happily, reaching forward to teasingly pinch the side of Mulch’s face. “Now that that’s settled, someone can finally knead clay with the kids and get some work done before Artemis gets home from his conference this weekend.” She quickly stepped away, disappearing into the nearby garage for several minutes before she returned carrying a craft box packed with an assortment of smaller items inside. “These rascals had me running to art stores all over Dublin the past two weeks looking for all kinds of overpriced play-dohs, and yet hardly asked if I could help them to sculpt!” She grumbled, not quite unkindly, as she shook the items out from the box, laying them out on a patch of grass before them. Holly looked over at Juliet in surprise. “I didn’t know you were into sculpting.” She thought of all the hours the young woman had spent whooping over her favourite wrestling matches on TV as a teen. “Never pegged you as the artistic type.” Juliet snorted. “Pfft, me? Nah, I don’t sculpt. That’s more a pretentious Artemis thing.” “Why would you expect the twins to ask you to teach them, then?” “Well, I’d like to be asked first, at least! I took the time to buy all these fancy play-dohs for them, didn’t I?” Mulch leaned forward in interest, looking over the packets of “play-dohs”. He spotted several labelled as Creative Paperclay—at least Juliet managed to get some of the good stuff. He grinned toothily as he rolled up his sleeves, feeling a spark of excitement at getting to work with clay again. “Okay then, kiddos. Let’s get cracking and moulding.” * “What’s this Eldest Brother’s Day thing you Mud Men celebrate like anyway?” Mulch asked. They’d made their way from the courtyard into the Manor basement where Artemis had set up a work space for Myles’ messier experiments and tinkering projects. The group stood now before the large experiment bench. Juliet covered the top with a large plastic mat, and turning the craft box over, shook packets of Creative Paperclay and several plastic and wooden crafting tools out on the bench. At Mulch’s question, she turned and gave him a strange look, brows furrowed. Then she let out a short laugh when she realised he was actually being serious. “Silly fairy,” she snickered, glancing over the top of Myles and Beckett’s heads before she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper: “There’s no such thing as Eldest Brother’s Day. It’s just something the twins came up with but I’m not going to ruin it for them and tell them it isn’t actually a thing. I’m not a monster, you know.” “We know it, Juliet,” Beckett said suddenly, blinking up at her with those large blue eyes filled with mischief and daring. “But Artemis’ a simple-toon—” Myles giggled at his twin’s use of their brother’s old nickname, even as he fought to keep his expression stoic. “—and simple-toons need Eldest Brother’s Day. So we celebrate.” Beckett finished with a nod, as though he’d just gifted both his human and fairy nannies with his brand of enlightenment. “Riiiight,” Mulch said, shaking his head. He figured some things were best left unasked and unexplained, especially when dealing with incorrigibly irreverent Fowl children. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for that impromptu alliteration (it was the playwright blooming within him, he was sure of it) and turned back to the project at hand. The twins had already decided early-on the sort of sculpture they had wanted to create. After ruminating over it weeks before, Myles had settled on recreating a 5-inch figure of Jayjay the silky sifaka, the fluffy white lemur whose whimsical escapades were often included in the bedtime stories Artemis read them. Beckett, on the other hand, had chosen to fashion an honorary tribute to Artemis’ late Syrian hamster, Lady Maeve, poised upright on her hind feet in an impassioned stance, gnawing away at a two-headed wyrm. Once the twins had sketched out their preferred designs on paper, Juliet pinned the sketches up on the cork board on the wall for easy reference. Then they got to work. Mulch placed two cups of water on the bench, and proceeded to show the twins how to gauge the amount they needed for their sculptures and how to knead the clay to warm it up and make it more malleable. “It’s a bit like baking extravagant pastries,” he said as he cut a block of clay into various-sized pieces. “You roll the individual shapes out like this and then stick them together to form a whole creature. Like an animal jigsaw puzzle, so to speak.” “They aren’t edible or taste any good though, not like pastries,” Holly added quickly when she noticed Beckett staring a little too longingly at the piece he’d been kneading. She tapped his fingers away just as the boy lifted the clay to his mouth for a quick nibble. “No tasting?” Beckett asked mournfully. “No tasting.” The elf shook her head. “But I do have some special treacle and espresso power bars from Haven City. It’s much better than consuming bland clay. I’ll let you have a bite later when we finish sculpting Lady Maeve, okay?” It seemed like a good bargain, so Beckett closed his mouth and chewed at his lower lip instead, rolling his clay pieces under his palms with renewed fervour. They continued shaping their pieces. Mulch showed the twins how to score the ends of the individual pieces they’d made for the limbs with a plastic knife. Then they connected the scored ends of the limbs to the body, blending the seams and smoothing it down carefully with their fingers and dabs of water. They continued in a similar fashion for the heads, noses, ears, and tails. Once the twins were satisfied with their sculptures, Mulch carefully placed the pieces on a cool, clean shelf to gradually dry and set over the next 24-hours. When they returned later to check on their work, the twins found the dried sculptures were now off-white and grainy to touch, quite unlike the squishy beige blobs they had been pinching and moulding with their hands the day before. “And now for a good splash of colour to make your pieces really pop,” Mulch said, dumping several tubes of acrylic paints and brushes on the bench with much more flair than necessary. He had a paint brush stuck behind one of his hairy ears—it helped him feel attuned with the art connoisseur in him. “Jayjay has a mostly pure-white coat,” Myles mused as he picked out a few choice colours, “but I think a gold accent to his fur tips, ears and tails would bring out his features more.” “Gold, huh?” Mulch looked over the boy’s chosen colour scheme with approval. “Good aesthetic you got there, Mudling.” “A very Fowl aesthetic for sure.” Holly couldn’t help the quip, her eyes twinkling with mirth. Artemis would certainly appreciate the touch. “Lady Maeve wants to be purple like rain,” Beckett declared solemnly, having been uncharacteristically silent for five whole minutes. “Purple? But Beck, Lady Maeve was a golden long-haired Syrian.” Myles tilted his head towards his twin. “If you paint her fur purple, Arty might not recognize her.” Beckett’s attention, however, seemed to be two steps ahead of the conversation. He’d already dipped his brush with paint and was dabbing streaks of purple all over the hamster’s body. “The Lady requests a cloak of purple rain, so purple she shall be.” The adults could barely stifle their chuckles while Myles groaned once again in defeat. He decided it was probably for the best and turned his attention back to painting his lemur. It was nearly noon when the twins added the last dabs of paint, after which Mulch proceeded to spray a coat of clear acrylic varnish over the sculptures to preserve and seal the colours. Then, he stepped several paces back from the bench to marvel at the fruits of their labour. “We have finished at last.” Myles’ voice was soft, awe pooling in his eyes. Hesitantly, he turned to Juliet and Holly, and then glanced back at the dwarf, searching for reassurance. “What do you think, Mister Mulch? Will Artemis like it?” Mulch rubbed at his beard thoughtfully. Both sculptures looked very much like what you would expect of two seven-year-olds’ valiant attempts at artisanal clay work. “Hmm.” He clicked his tongue lightly as he paced around the work bench, reaching into his inner art critic for the right words. “Now, Myles: Despite the crooked tail, you did a fairly good job at carving the fur textures on your lemur. Plus, adding gold accents to the white fur is very innovative and makes Jayjay glow nicely under the light. A very regal and classic touch overall.” Mulch came to a dignified pause before the second sculpture, rubbing his palms together as if in deep thought. “As for Beckett’s recreation of Lady Maeve: It seems far more… robust than the original, almost challenging anatomy and even physics itself. But the bright mixes of purple and gold contrasts nicely with the green and gore of the flailing wyrm, adding a surprising dynamism to the entire piece. All in all, two very good attempts, my young apprentices.” Holly and Juliet were already sighing halfway through Mulch’s needlessly opulent commentary, but even they agreed with the dwarf’s final assessment, much to the relief and delight of Myles and Beckett Fowl. * When Artemis Fowl the Second arrived home from his two-week long conference on Wildlife and Biodiversity Conservation, he was surprised to be greeted only by an unusually silent living room, devoid of the typical sounds of playful bellowing and childish laughter. Leaving Butler to unload his luggage from the Bentley, Artemis wondered briefly at the absence of his two brothers and Juliet, their sitter, before he noticed a strange sort of rumbling noise and vibration coming from somewhere below him. Curious, he headed for the basement, moving cautiously towards the noise. It was there that he found the twins asleep and cuddled around a familiar rotund shape sprawled upon an old velvet sofa. The fairy had his head thrown back against the cushion and was snoring rather noisily. “Ah,” Artemis said, eloquent as ever. He steepled his fingers together, taking a moment to process the scene before him. “Arty…? Oh, you’re finally back.” Holly’s soft voice broke him out of his reverie. He turned to see his old friend curled up on a second sofa, blinking the sleep from her eyes. “Welcome home,” she yawned a greeting. “Juliet’s in the kitchen fixing up some snacks, I think.” “Hello, Holly. It’s good to be back among familiar faces again. It seems that I’ve missed quite a party while I was away…” Artemis trailed off when he caught sight of the strange creatures placed on Myles’ experiment bench. “They’re supposed to be a surprise for you when you returned. For Eldest Brother’s Day.” Holly explained when Artemis raised a delicate eyebrow. He lifted up one of the sculptures for a closer inspection, his forehead creased in confusion at what looked to be a purple rodent gnawing on a plump string of green linguine—Beckett’s. “Eldest Brother’s Day?” Artemis echoed. He reached for the second sculpture—Myles’ lemur—before walking over to take a seat beside Holly on the sofa. Holly stretched her arms as she sat upright. “It’s kind of a long story.” “I expect so. Do enlighten me, if you will.” “Well, let’s see...” Holly began, brushing the side of her cheek with a finger. “Once upon a time, there were a pair of twins who, Frond only knows why, admired and looked up to their chaotically unhinged older brother greatly.” Artemis gave her a slightly wounded look, pressing a hand to his chest in a show of mock offense. “I’m appalled, Holly. You of all people know I prefer calculating to chaotic. There is a method to my madness, after all.” “Ever the theatrical misunderstood genius, aren’t you?” Holly rolled her eyes, even if she couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips. She nudged his shoulder playfully with her own, a show of affection. “Myles and Beckett adore you immensely—you know that, right?” Artemis beamed, warmed by Holly’s laughter and the comfort of being close to friends and family once more. He watched his sleeping brothers, curled closely towards each other much like two peas in a pod, before he turned his gaze back to the sculptures in his hands. “I know,” he said softly, still marvelling at the twins’ recreations of Jayjay and Lady Maeve. And for the barest of moments, in the quiet that stretch comfortably between them, Artemis Fowl knew that this may only be the start of the first (of many) Eldest Brother’s Day he would experience, but it was already a very good day nonetheless. And he was content. —End—

#artemis fowl zine #artemis fowl #holly short #mulch diggums #beckett fowl #myles fowl #juliet butler #fanfic

[chaoticneutralwriter]

Unorthodox

You can’t tell whether you’re fortunate or not to have a guardian demon who thinks it’s funny to go around looking like your idol crush BTS’ Park Jimin.

Writing Prompt; Everyone has a guardian angel except you. You have a guardian demon. He deals with things in a much more violent fashion, but much more effective.

guardiandemon!Jimin x reader

genre: fluff, a little light, a little anxiety inducing though given what will happen, minor mentions of death and blood but nothing too graphic

word count: 3.7k

Related works: Genuine | 3AM Demon | The Grinch Who Stole New Year | Distance and The Heart

A/N: I thought this prompt was so good for Halloween but....late to the party again.... LOLL Also this is a bit of a mental gymnastic but don’t think too hard on it. Also, BST!Jimin is forever the look™ and I’m still not over it.

“Oh my God Jess that’s so bad!” You laugh as your friend finishes her story. The rest of your group laughs along with you, sharing their own off handed comments on the whole situation she was put in. Eventually, you had to quiet down and reel them back as you had caught stares and looks from the other patrons in the cafe you were all in.

 It’s a Saturday afternoon and granted the place was busier than usual, you still managed to be the loudest bunch, getting a little too carried away with the volume of your voices. You shoot any lingering miffed gazes an apologetic smile as does some of your friends who noticed, but you can’t help yourself. It’s been so long since you’ve all got together to just hang out, everyone so caught up in their lives that time had become a luxury and any free schedules overlapping becoming as rare as a blue moon.

 So it’s times like these that you cherish, seeing everyone after so long of just the occasional instant messaging that your worries seem to fade. Eventually, your group has decided that perhaps your rambunctious energy needed to be taken elsewhere lest you wanted to disturb the people again. Seeing as how the weather outside is lovely, you all head out to do some city strolling.

 You all chatter amicably with each other, bouncing from one conversation to another. Your group makes it to a park, unanimously settling down under a tree.

 “Did you see BTS’ new song MV?” gasps one of your friends and you return her enthusiasm, eyes alight.

 “Yes! The song was so good! And how they look?!” You pause to inhale, heart palpitating at the memory of the video you watched earlier before meeting up. It was such a good way to start off your day that, as you left your house, you felt nothing could possibly ruin it.

 Or so you thought.

 Amongst the excited conversation, your gaze wanders, taking in your surroundings. It’s no surprise that you see many people walking about and relaxing or having fun in their own way and for a moment, nothing seems out of place until your eyes land on an all too familiar face. You pale, feeling your blood run cold despite the heat of the afternoon sun at the figure lounging just too casually for your taste on the bench with a vantage point straight at you.

 Even from the distance, you see his lips quirk up into a smirk, eyes crinkling in the slightest and you just know that he’s been watching you way before you had even spotted him. You hate this feeling, this sensation of breaking out into a cold sweat when such a face, under any other circumstance, would have brought you a whole slew of other emotions except absolute dread. And you hate him all the more for it.

 “Y/N? Hey, you don’t look so good. You okay?” You hear your friend call but to you, it sounded so far away from the blood rushing through your ears.

 “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I just— I-I think I’m gonna go use the washroom real quick.” You manage to stutter, shooting a shaky smile their way before shooting up to your feet and walking off, not giving them a chance to squeeze in another word.

 You walk the distance heading towards to the washroom but after making sure you’re far enough from your friends’ line of sight, you divert. You circle around to make your way back to the bench you saw him in, only to see that it’s devoid of the occupant you’re looking for. Your mouth gapes in confusion as you scan your immediate area but failing to find the dark cladded figure.

 “Looking for me?” His husky tone breathes so close to your ear that it has you jumping. You whip around to find unmistakable dark eyes gleaming back at you with amusement and mischief.

 “God!” You gasp, nerves still rattled by his sudden appearance. He grimaces a little at the name you called out but you could hardly care, the initial dread transforming into annoyance. “What do you think you’re doing here?!”

 “I don’t think you know how this works, darling.” He replies back coolly, hands stuffed into the pockets of his well-pressed trousers as he leans his weight on one hip.

 “I don’t think you know how this works.” You hiss back, brazenly pointing an accusatory finger at the taller male, your eyes darting about quickly to make sure as few people witness this exchange as possible. He goes to open his mouth but you grab a hold of his wrist to pull him behind a large oak tree. He peers at you in disdain, finding your actions over the top and no doubt unnecessary but he lets it slide; he never understood humans and you’re the weirdest one he’s encountered.

 “You can’t just go around so casually looking like…. that! “ You continue, wildly gesturing to his person.

 “I’m sorry if my taste in clothes are far superior for your small human mind to comprehend.”

 “Not what I mean.” You say through gritted teeth, refraining from outright knocking him over the head (he’d probably end up burning you to a crisp, contract be damned). “I meant looking like a Korean idol that the whole world knows! You’ll be spotted!”  

 “And here I thought you’d be rather pleased that I look like this.” He replies in mock exasperation, running a hand through lush silvery locks as if to further emphasize his point. You find yourself holding your breath, cursing at the butterflies unintentionally fluttering in your stomach. You forcefully remind yourself that no, this is not the person who you think it is despite looking exactly like him. 

 In fact, he wasn’t even a person to begin with.

 “If this isn’t what you wanted, would you rather I go for something…. more natural?” The ruby lustre taking over his eyes as well as his sudden drop in tone startles you into action. You nearly tackle him to prevent any sorts of supernatural events from happening in such an open, public space.

 “No! No, no stop! Not what I meant either!” Your hands grip at his arms, heart thrumming a little in panic at his small threat. He smirks triumphantly at you, causing you to narrow your eyes in a glare before releasing your hold on him in a huff. You never realized dealing with a demon could be such a headache. Rubbing at your temples, you exhale through your nose.

 “Just— Can you not follow me around? Or like, not be so out in the open about it? Again, you literally look like a Korean idol…. that actually exists.”

 “So?”

 So?! You think incredulously. You reel yourself in before you explode again. “So…” You reiterate with much effort, “You’re technically famous— a celebrity. Which means people will lose their minds if they see you and on top of that, if photos of you gets out on the internet, your cover is going to be blown because how can anyone explain why Park fricken Jimin of BTS is here, in North America, when he’s also half way across the world in South Korea?!”

 You’re practically whisper screeching from working yourself up, all the while the carbon copy of one Park Jimin (only that he’s not) watches you with mild interest, looking as impeccable as a marble statue. You stop your tirade to pin him with another seething glare and all he does is quirk his lips. To your astonishment, he throws his head back to let out a bark of laughter. If it was actually Park Jimin, you would’ve swooned and keened at the sight but it makes you glance around nervously to see if it has drawn any attention, thankfully no one seems to notice and was stilling milling about, minding their own business.

 He comes down from his spiel, having the gall to wipe at his eyes too.

 “Oh my sweet cherub,” He breathes and you frown at the pet name, “You actually thought I would waltz around to parade this beautiful face for all to see?”

 You give him a pointed look, one that clearly says, ‘Yes you would, knowing you’. He kisses his teeth; hands on either side of his hips and you’re ready for an incoming sassing.

 “What I’m saying is that you’re more stupid than you look and it offends me that you would think I would be stupid enough to do that. Of course I’m aware.” He huffs indignantly. “Which is why, for your information, demons have cloaking spells; which means you might be able to see me but anyone else won’t.” He then peers down at you like he was explaining something to a child. “Happy?”

 “Could’ve told me sooner.” You snap back in defense, like how were you supposed to know any of that beforehand? Not like he gave you a Demon 101 booklet when you first met.

 “Yeah, but I thought it would be funnier to make you look crazy for talking to thin air.” He sniggers back. At that, you whip your gaze around again, immediately landing on a couple and a family watching you warily from a distant. You feel your face heat up in embarrassment, thoughts running a mile a minute, wondering just how long he actually had this cloaking spell on and was just messing with you.

 Your gaze flits back around, ready to give him a piece of your own hell, only to find empty space. You swear you could physically feel your blood pressure rising and perhaps, to your twisted delight, you would die before having to experience the full extent of what it means to have a demon as your metaphorical guardian angel.

 —

 The day goes on with not seeing so much as a hair from the demon with an angel’s face. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing that. You’d spent the rest of the day hanging out with your friends, eventually grabbing dinner together and by the time you’d all said your goodbyes, the sun has long gone down.

 You swiftly make your way down the streets to the nearest subway station, figuring it be much cheaper and faster considering Ubers were much harder to grab on the weekends and in a busy downtown area. Also, the ride wouldn’t be that long anyways.

 Besides, you’re only worry at hand is actually getting to a station; they were practically at least two blocks apart and the chill the night air brings does nothing to settle your growing nerves. Downtown was lovely during the day but at night it’s like all of the shadier things make themselves known. You’re on edge, eyes darting around every so often to be aware of your surroundings as you pick up your pace. 

 Vaguely you hear a man’s gruff voice call out to you but you determinedly ignore it, catching sight of the station’s sign just ahead of you. You make your way down the stairs, heart starting to beat a little erratically as you press your metro pass to the gate and slide through. Once you’ve descended the second flight of stairs leading to the tracks, your nerves starts to settle down.

 The train hadn’t arrived yet, a quick glance up at the monitor informed you that it would be in five minutes, leaving you with no choice but to wait. You heave a breath to yourself, taking out your phone to plug your headphones in. Taking a quick glance around, you find that you’re probably one of three people in the tunnel; a man sitting hunched over on one of the benches looking a little worse for wear and an older lady way down the other end from where you were.

 You think nothing much after, and before you know it the train is pulling up on the tracks. You shuffle in, easily finding a seat given the lack of passengers in your car. Another sigh; you’re halfway to getting home and so far, there’s no hiccups. You relax at the notion, settling into your seat as the train takes off and you wait again until your stop arrives.

 It was about two stops away that things start going south. It starts when the compartment door to your cart slides open, startling you to look up and see the man at the station before you boarded. You duck your head down, not wanting to draw any attention and hoping that he’s just passing through. Luck wasn’t on your side however, as he stumbles and then takes a seat right across from you, the scent wafting from him nearly makes you choke.

 You’re determined to fixate your gaze on your phone, pretending to be scrolling through the same apps you have open, but even then you could feel his heavy gaze on you.

 Please, please hurry up! 

 You steal a quick glance anxiously at the map above you, a small LED light indicating which stop you’ve just left and how far away yours is. It’s then that you hear a gruff voice call out through your headphones. Still, you pretend you didn’t hear and it worked until his voice grew to a volume that it startles you. Nervously, your eyes flit to meet the man and warily take out an earbud.

 “Fuckin’ kids goin’ deaf.” You hear him say under his breath before he roughly grunts, “Got any change on you?”

 You shake your head, quietly replying, “No, I don’t. Sorry.” And you silently prayed that would be the end of that but before you can put your earbud back in, the man speaks again.

 “Where’re you goin’ so late huh?”

 “Just— home. Excuse me.” You keep your answer clipped, shooting up from your seat with the decision to get off this cart at the upcoming station and try to get back on in one where there were other people on. The station the train pulls up is one short from your actual stop but you don’t think you can handle being in the same cart alone with this man, even if it’s just for one more station. You get off, trying to keep yourself from trembling to be as subtle as possible. You’re best bet was that you a) get on a cart that has people or b) he won’t follow you at all and you can possibly catch the next train.

 Unfortunately, neither one happens because out of your peripheral you see his looming figure exit the cart, walking down your way. You pick up your pace, heading more to towards the front of the train but the chimes signaling the doors are about to close catches your attention and you gasp. You bolt into the closest cart and hope that you were much quicker than the man.

 Heart racing, you glance around, finding an empty cart. You’re not sure whether that’s a good sign or not but you’ll take it.

 Just one more stop.

 You chant it like a mantra, too antsy to take a seat now as your mind had taken precautions that if you see any signs of the man again, you would head through the compartment leading to other carts.

 Your station name rings over the PA and you almost jump in joy. As soon as the doors slides open, you’re out of there. You make quick work of the steps, leading up from the tracks and then exiting the station. The orange tinge of the streetlights offer little comfort to you as the prospect of having to clear one more block before getting to your house looms at the forefront of your thoughts.

 You steel yourself and walk at a faster pace than usual, head down and clutching your bag in a vice grip. You round the corner of the convenient store, a checkpoint. You’re nearly there.

 “Hey, girlie.”

 You spoke too soon, so hyper focused on just getting home that you miss out on a group of guys hanging around off the side of the store (doing God knows what). Your strides, though fast, were not long enough to outpace the figure coming up beside you.

 “Where you going so late?”

 You shrink away from him, trembling as you try to maintain as much distance as you can without having to put yourself out on the road. You think, quite frustratingly, why do they not have anything better to do as you stubbornly ignore his advances, and very close to straight up running. 

 “Shouldn’t be out here on your own like this.” You catch the sentence too close for comfort and that was the final straw to push you into a run. You don’t get far however, as a large hand roughly grasps you by the elbow, jerking you off balance.

 “Hey! I’m talking to you. It’s rude to ignore someone who’s—“

 “Don’t touch me!” You shout, voice bordering hysteria. You rip yourself from the man’s hold with as much force as you can and it causes you to stumble a little. For the first time, you catch sight of three figures, the one speaking being closer to you compared to what you assume are his friends, trailing not too far behind but you don’t care to put a face to your harasser.

 “What the fuck! Why you gotta be such a bitch for?!” The hand makes a grab for you and snags your bag. The force this time gives you a whiplash, shoulder pulled painfully and you whimper, feeling tremors go through your body uncontrollably now with tears threatening to overtake your sight.

 Your mind flies into a panicked state, seconds away from abandoning your  bag altogether and just making a run for it when the street lamps overhead flickers. All at once, they go out along with any light source within the area because suddenly everything is so dark.

 It all happened so fast.

 The weight is lifted off of you, a chill settling over and then you hear an ear-piercing shriek. You can’t tell if it’s your own or something else as a cacophony of noises fill your ears.

 Indecipherable shouting.

 Scraping.

 Crunching.

 Gurgling.

 Disembody voices.

 And then silence.

 It felt like you had been trapped in a whirlwind, shaking violently from the aftermath of it and so disoriented you hadn’t realized you’ve curled in on yourself with eyes shut tight until a soft voice coaxes at you.

 “Y/N….” 

 It’s familiar, you’ve heard the lilt many times before and it so easily calms your hyperventilating. Despite the comfort it brings however, the strangeness of hearing such a voice so close to you creeps back in. A warm hand brushes against your own held to your ears and though the touch is gentle, you still flinch. The hand retracts momentarily before the voice speaks to you again.

 “Y/N…deep breaths and look at me, Y/N.” It’s a soft command and you do as you’re told, breathing in deeply and exhaling a couple of times before finally peeling your eyes open.

 Your vision is slightly blurred from unshed tears, but you make out his handsome, young face and silvery locks in the orange dim of streetlights. His deep ruby eyes bore into yours steadily, expression stoic if only for his gaze to betray the concern reflecting in them. He blinks and they’re back to being a deep brown.

 “That’s my girl.” He praises with a small smirk, voice no louder than a murmur as his hand engulfs yours in a warm hold. An overwhelming urge to be close to him takes over, as if your body and mind is crying with relief at the sight of a safe haven and before you can think straight, you rush forward, collapsing into him with hands feebly finding purchase on his black button down shirt. 

 “Jimin….” You croak out, care and logic thrown out the window because you so desperately need something to anchor you down right now and his was a face that your mind knew could do you no harm, like it was second nature. He doesn’t seem to mind; gathering you in his arms all the same and gently cradles you.

 “Easy now…shhh easy.” You hear him coo as you bury your face into his neck until your senses flood with his scent; a surprising combination of lavender, vanilla and spices. His hands rub soothing circles around your back until the shaky breaths you exhale return to normal. 

 He helps you to stand slowly, minding the small tremors that erupt every so often from you and the way he’s treating you like he’s handling delicate glass is so unlike how he normally is that it makes you want to double-take.

 “Are you hurt?” He pulls away from you slightly if only for that moment to ask, though he takes the liberty to look you over himself anyways without waiting for your reply. You shake your head no, voice still feeling as if it’s stuck in your throat. As he’s wiping away a stray tear, you bring your gaze to take a good look at him, eyes drawing up to take in his full height. His silvery coiffed hair is still immaculate as ever and his face is picture perfect, flawless except….

 You reach up in spite of your shaky hands to decipher what it is that marred his otherwise porcelain complexion when he stops you. He gently guides your hand away before reaching up with his own to swipe at his cheek. Your Jimin doppelganger tsked at the sight, indifferently wiping his soiled fingers onto his shirt.

 “Nothing for you to worry about, darling.” He says, smiling at you so angelically. You blink, perplexed until slowly, your mind starts to catch up with the events that transpired.

 “W-Where—?” You make to turn your head around, looking for your assailant but again, he stops you by taking a hold of your chin and directing it back to him.

 “Ah, ah, eyes on me sweetheart. Like I said, there’s nothing to worry about anymore. You’re safe.” 

 “But—“

 “Shh... Sleep.” His hand gently cups your cheek and with his whispered words, your mind is overcome with a sudden haze and your eyelids droop shut.

 He catches you mid-fall, scooping you up in his arms as if you weighed nothing more than a feather. He kisses his teeth again, annoyance rolling off of him in waves as his eyes narrow down on his also soiled shoes.

 Whatever.

 At least you didn’t notice that.

 Nor the streaks of blood leading to the dumpster.

#park jimin scenarios #park jimin scenario #jimin fic #park jimin fic #demon au bts #bts demon au #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts scenario #bts imagines #bts imagine #park jimin imagine #demon!jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x you #park jimin x reader #bts jimin x you #bts jimin fic #bts jimin fluff #bts jimin x reader #bts jimin demon au #bts fluff #park jimin oneshot #jimin oneshot #bts oneshot #bts jimin oneshot

[dcarevu]

DCAU #14: I’ve Got Batman In My Basement

“Say, Batman, you wouldn’t be single, would you?”

… Let’s just do this.

Villain: The Penguin Robin: No Writer(s): Sam Graham, Chris Hubbell Director: Frank Paur Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 30, 1992 Grade: F

So my original plan for this episode was to write a really sarcastic review where I would jokingly praise every aspect of the episode and write it up to be some kind of masterpiece. I was even going to give it an A++++++ grade, but then slip in the real grade at the end (and as a reminder, I’m not a professional, skilled, or trained critic. The grades simply mark my general enjoyment of an episode for those who are into that type of thing). Well, I tried a few times to write the damn thing, and I just couldn’t do it. Truth be told, it’s even difficult to jokingly praise this episode because it’s not like it’s entertainingly bad, minus one scene where we see Batman using a screwdriver as a weapon (ugh, puh-lease). It’s just kinda dry and unentertaining to watch, so it does not make for any kind of decent comedy.  Instead, let me start with a little story.

Back before I owned this series on DVD (and hopefully Blu Ray soon), I would watch it everyday on The Hub network. This is how I got back into the series after a long time of sort of forgetting about it (Nostalgia Critic helped re-spark my interest as well). I got exposed to many wonderful episodes this way, such as Sideshow, You Scratch My Back, and Vendetta. I was starting to figure that this show could do no wrong, and so when my dad sat down once when an episode was just starting, I got pretty excited! I was happy that my dad would get to see what great cartoon possibilities could be produced out of a superhero that he mostly remembered from the Adam West TV show (I would argue that this show is great too, but in a very different way). Well, guess what episode came on that way. No, seriously, I want you to just take a guess. Ayup. Now this is before I had ever seen or heard of I’ve Got Batman In My Basement. And with a promising title and title card (although Char thought that the title sounded a little bit creepy, and not in a good way…I will admit, I do get some BDSM vibes), I wasn’t worried. And then the episode started. Wow! Then Penguin! Hadn’t seen him in an episode yet! But I did have his action figure (from the show), and I had heard that Birds Of a Feather was absolutely fantastic. I wish I could even say that there was more buildup before the unfortunate letdown, but really, this episode doesn’t even start out good, particularly if you don’t have any expectations about the Penguin. Hell, if you’re an outsider, I wouldn’t say that the Penguin looks particularly exciting in the slightest. Yeah, he’s got those flipper-fingers, but paired with the sloppy animation of this one, I’m pretty sure Char thought that it was an animation error or something at first. And by the time we get to the two main characters of the episode which are a couple of children, and especially when Batman gets knocked out, I started to realize that not every episode of Batman The Animated Series was perfect. In fact, I knew then that there was at least one that I never wanted to watch again. And this was the one episode my dad happened to see! I almost wanted to change the channel, but I was holding onto a little bit of hope that things would improve. Even if it wasn’t until the end. But, well, you saw the rating. Now, I’ve since seen this episode twice more, via my own decision, merely for the sake of watching the entire series. I’m assuming that if I ever watch through again, I’ll skip this one, but for right now, this is business, and I’ve gotta get the word out about this episode, even though I’m apparently far from the first. Don’t watch it, man. It’ll break your spirit faster than the ground will break an egg from 5 feet up. Oh. And to make things even better, my dad caught another episode a little while later. It was The Forgotten. Yeah. I’ll leave it at that.

So one of the things that I see constantly complained about is that this episode is supposedly pandering to kids, and overall taking a show that was evolving to become more adult and wonderful for all ages to watch, turning it into a typical Saturday morning cartoon. And yeah, I won’t necessarily disagree with this all the way. It certainly does feel like a more typical Saturday morning cartoon. But let’s not throw Saturday morning cartoons under the bus here. By this point, we did have some established quality in cartoon-land. Ren & Stimpy, The Real Ghostbusters, Ducktales, and Tiny Toon Adventures had each been airing prior. Yeah, the episode does focus more on being aimed for kids, but this isn’t inherently bad, and only explains the problems on a very base level. There’s a difference between being aimed at kids yet still being god damn awesome, and talking down to your audience so that the only ones able to enjoy it are kids who a lot of the time will watch anything that moves. This episode seems kiddish because of two main factors; as stated it talks down to the audience, and the two main characters are children (and I swear, they look like they could be Velma Dinkley’s kids). I guess to add a bonus reason, it simply was not approached with love. The team behind the show has basically come out and said that the writers and storyboarders of this one didn't care, and Frank Paur, the reluctant director, tried to shape it up a little bit, but when you have deadlines, there is only so much that you can do. Keep in mind, we are less than 20 episodes into the series. Not everyone they were hiring was necessarily going to be on the same page. When this episode was started, it’s very possible that not a single episode had even been aired yet. After the show was watchable, that’s probably where new writers (and old ones) could watch other people’s work and determine what would work in this newly created DC Animated Universe. I’m a little interested in what Sam Graham and Chris Hubbell could have done with more knowledge of what was expected, but hell, for all I know, Bruce Timm could’ve gone over the series bible 234 times over to them. Lazy work is lazy work. Hard to redeem that because, well, often times the person is too god damn lazy! This is all just some speculation based on things that I know about the show, but ultimately I don’t even care that much. Only watch this one if you’re a completionist like I am.

Now, if held at gunpoint (and maybe I am, given that I really wanna move on to Heart Of Ice instead of finishing up this post) and made to find some positives, I would first tell you that the screwdriver fight is so stupid that it has to be seen. I’d rather just search that scene up on youtube or fast-forward to it, but hey, I didn’t say these were positives that turned that F into an A, did I? Ha ha haaaaa, I don’t think so. But the fact that Batman would wage a tink-tink battle with the Penguin in such a way, oh my god. it’s baffling. This is straight-up Adam West territory, guys. But y’know, I’m probably talking this scene up to much. I always say that it’s ridiculous, that it’s hilarious, that it’s so awe-inspiringly bad, but then I watch it, and it's never quite as entertaining as I remember. Not quite. Maybe being one of the only action sequences (and the only memorable action sequence) causes this effect on me or something? I don’t know. I feel like as goofy as this is, it’s soooo much funnier on paper when it’s purposely comedic. And alright….another positive quality before Sam and Chris push that big red button… Well, Roberta was actually pretty likeable, surprisingly. She was Char and I’s favorite character from the episode, believe it or not. Weird how even though episodes about kids don’t often end up stellar, they can still create a big strong kid character. It’s a case of personalities vs scenarios. Being delicate when it came to children-related plots was maybe a requirement? Then again, Robin’s Reckoning, guys. Robin’s Reckoning. And lastly, uhh, there were a couple of lines that made me chuckle a little bit, and in a way where the line was meant to be funny. Batman’s “Ma’am” at the end was perfectly in character, and Sherman’s response was great. Penguin gets a few good lines as well, despite such a lackluster debut. This episode went ahead to turn Char completely off to the Penguin, which is reluctantly expected, but hopefully after a nice long break from the character, a future episode can turn her around on him. We shall see. This debut is pretty hard to shake.

It embarrassed me a little bit when I first watched it, and it made Char want to vomit. Now that is some quality…Sherman. (Kill me)

Char’s grade: F

Next time: Heart Of Ice Full episode list here!

#batman tas #batman the animated series #i've got batman in my basement #dc animated universe #dcau #the penguin #penguin #batman

[nclrdc]

chapter eleven                                   “ Story ”     100% of this chapter will be proof of how                                      stupid I am.

It’s weird how we end up falling in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. It’s even weirder how people are able to change us. An extrovert can become an introvert when it comes down to one person. That’s what happened to me, he changed me in every possible way, only the one person who saw it, was me. I mean, people always say you shouldn’t change for people. But what if you’re not good enough? Sometimes you just want someone so badly that you don’t feel like being yourself, you just need to be who they want.

I met him the first day of high school. He was new in our school, and that was pretty obvious. I’m going to spare you the minute details, but long story short, I started to fall for him the moment I looked into those beautiful green eyes. Honestly, in hindsight, I can see I wasn’t myself around him. I tried to be funnier, smarter, cooler. I tried to change myself because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him. He was popular, everyone loved him, he was gorgeous, smart, funny, polite. Everything I wasn’t enough of. So I changed myself. Because that’s what we do for the people that mean a lot to us.

I remember when he meant nothing to me. I wasn’t aware of his existence, but now he’s the reason I have these awful bags under my eyes; I stay up til 4am thinking about him. It’s bizarre how a person could mean nothing to you but in a matter of hours, days, weeks, or months, they could mean the world to you, even if they make your heart drown in a sea of regret and leave a hurricane of bittersweet memories behind.

We started talking, mostly because he and my friend became super close, so he’d sit with us. We mostly argued about every little thing, and that became our way of communication. Everytime we sat together, we argued, and for some sick reason, I felt like that was his way of showing he cared. Everytime I have a crush I can never tell if they have a mutual crush on me or if I am just noticing and exaggerating  every bit of attention i’m getting from them and amplifying it into something it’s not.

Then one day, out of nowhere, he sat across the room, with the other girls. I didn’t think much at the time, because I still thought of him as just this amazing boy from my class, but then he started sitting there everyday and it bugged me. I realized I was thinking of him, and began to wonder how long he’d been on my mind. Then it occured to me: Since I met him, he’d never left.

Have you ever been jealous of something absolutely ridiculous? Like, really ridiculous. You don’t have the right or plausible reason for your jealousy but you simply are and you feel ridiculous, and the reason is ridiculous, everything is ridiculous, but you are still jealous because you can’t help it? Well, that was me, being jealous of a boy that wasn’t even my friend.

He’s just a stupid brown haired boy with green eyes so tell me why I’m more addicted to him then I am to any drug. It was killing me, so I made a choice and sat across the room. And we started talking again. Just like that.

I wish I could explain his eyes, or how the sound of his voice gives me butterflies. How everytime I see him, my heart skips a beat, or how everytime I’m with him, I feel complete. I think that’s when I started to fall for him. I mean, falling for him wasn’t falling at all. It was like walking into a house and suddenly knowing you’re home.

Everytime his hand touched my bare skin I felt an electric wave go through my body. And everytime I looked at him, I wanted to push him up a wall and kiss him with a passion the likes of which this damn earth has never seen before. If he were here right now, I would hold him so tight, whisper in his ear, and tell him how much I love him. If he were here right now, I’d wrap my arms around him so tight to make him feel protected, while looking into his eyes, telling him how beautiful he is and I’d lean in and give him kisses all over, making he feel like the prince he is.

Every time my phone rang I wanted it to be him. God damn, I really did. I hoped I crossed his mind once in a while just so that I wouldn’t feel pathetic for thinking of him all the time. But that was just me, a stupid young girl, in love with a stupid young boy.

We just talked at school, and as incredible as it sounds, it was enough for me. Of course I would love to see him outside school grounds, but just seeing him very week day already made me happier than I could even imagine. And everything he did made me fall even harder. Have you ever fallen in love with somebody like 4 times? Like damn, I thought I loved you before but this is next level.

This went on for a few months, but as everything else in my life, I had to mess it up, and I messed it up badly. One day I was happy, and the next it all changed.

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a scene. My crime ended with a period, or rather started with one.  My crime was the destruction of one’s happiness, my own. And it was achieved by three simple words, “it is okay”. Those three simple words were my response after my friend said she liked him too, and wanted to make out with him at the party that night. It was a mistake, but I would never say no. I would never destroy someone else’s happiness, even it if meant destroying my own.

Seeing them kiss, and hearing about it for the next few weeks, completely killed me. I cried, alone in my room, and pretend I was okay when in reality, I just wanted to curl up in a ball of sadness and sleep forever.

That kiss broke my heart. It killed me. I know pain is never permanent, but that night it killed me. It fractured my heart for the first time, and let me tell you it hurts like hell. A broken heart is the worst. It’s like having broken ribs. Nobody can see it but the pain is unbearable everytime you breathe.I don’t even know why. Why hurt someone whose only intention was to love you? But I knew the answer for that. He didn’t know I loved him, but even if he did, I know he wouldn’t even care.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know when to stop caring, when to stop humiliating myself. Back then, I didn’t know how to surround myself with the right people. I learned that the hard way. I learned that by getting fucked up over small things, by getting left behind and spat on. I wasted a lot of things over fake people. But I could never get that back. I just learned not to give a shit about people, because fake friends are a real waste of time, and fake love is a real waste of life.

Of course I didn’t learn it right away though. It’s funny that you learn the most valuable lessons in your life by going through a hard time without them. That night, I didn’t do anything in spite of him. Of them. I didn’t get “revenge” because there was nothing I could do. Nothing I wanted to do. What can I say? I would rather break my own heart than yours.

Even though he hurt me the most, he broke me for the first time, he shattered my heart for the first time, I still had strong feelings for him. And that’s how you know you really love them, you forgive. Even if they didn’t apologize. And when your heart aches; when your stomach drops; when your lungs feel like they're caving in, just because of the thought of them with someone else. But I guess love is supposed to hurt, right? That’s how you know it’s real.

Everybody has the power to break us. There’s always something that can destroy us. Just when you think you found someone who would only make happy, things fall apart. Even the ones we love the most can be a poison to our souls.

After the party, I wrote him a letter. I tried to fit everything that was inside of him into that fragile piece of paper, I tried to tell him how he made me feel, but I couldn’t. I could never write down the immensity of my feelings with something as simple as words. I could never express everything down with a mere black ink pen. So I wrote a thank you note, or maybe it was just a simple note, with a small explanation of my feelings for him, and a true statement. “It was a pleasure loving you”. I wasn’t lying. As much as he hurt me and broke me, the time I spent before were amazing. Loving someone is amazing, that is, until you fall on your face. Still, I wrote it down. He never read it, and I don’t think he ever will, but it got me somewhere, it took me to a place where I accepted that love is a wild beast. You can never tame it. Just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean they will love you back, and you just got to live with it.

Months went by and I kept saying I was over him.  But when I said “I’m over him” what I meant was, he still made me laugh when we talked, I still prayed for him to love me again, I still wished for him at 11:11, I cried myself to sleep almost every night thinking about what we had, or what we could’ve had, I still thought of him all the time, I was still in love with him, I was still in pain, I still wanted him and loved him with everything I had. When someone told me he didn’t deserve me I still thought yes he does, and I still answered maybe I didn’t deserve him that’s why he left, even though I knew it was not right. I was still jealous of the girl he was in love with, and I still wished it was me, I still had his number and hadn’t deleted the texts he sent, and I still had his picture, and I was so not over him… How stupid was I?

I tried really hard to let go of him. To cut off any feelings I had and just be free from him. I tried to keep my distance. But then one day, we were at the same place, and when I realized, we were talking. Not a normal boring conversation. Not your usual “how’s school” or “what’s your favorite movie?”. We were having a real heart to heart. We talked about our interests and our fears, we talked about the day and the night, life and death, the sun and the moon. Anytime someone would approach he would ask them to leave so we could  continue. We were so immersed in our own little bubble that time stopped and nothing seemed to matter. Nothing but him.

Have you ever wanted to kiss someone while you are talking to them but just can’t? We talked about life and we talked about love. I heard him saying how he didn’t like this girl anymore and how he felt the pressure to have someone by his side. He said so much about so many different things. I just found myself talking about this boy I loved, and how he didn’t even know I existed. He said I should just go up to him and kiss him. If only he knew...

After that, I thought we would go back to being friends. Or we would start. I don’t know what we should call what we had, but I just wished it would be better. But then, we went to a party. He said hello to all of my friends and ignored me. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence the entire time. I should’ve known better than to go. It seems like I always end up crying after parties.

He was so cold and distant. He would come up to where we were and talk to all my friends but me. He would dance with them and laugh with them and just cut me out completely. I didn’t even know I did something wrong. I still don’t.

Now it’s three months later and he still hasn’t talked to me. He will go out of his way not to be close to me. He won’t even direct a word at me. Now it’s three months later and I still can’t tell what I did wrong, where did I mess up?

All I know is I’ve encountered with more pain that I always thought possible. There are plenty of ways to die, but only love can kill you and keep you alive to feel it. Loving too much always kills you. It rips you apart and messes up your mind. It leaves you wide awake at three in the morning wishing you never had any feelings.

- nicole cunha

#love quotes #quotes #story #love #boy #sad #sad quotes

[averagemovieg0er]

Captain Marvel Movie Review Spoilers

Captain Marvel introduces a new character into the already well established MCU and struggles to be a character people care for.

While Captain Marvel is a badass superhero who does some serious ass kicking, she lacks any empathy people could feel for her. While I’m myself a very emotional movie goer who cries at virtually every minor human conflict in every movie there is, Captain Marvel only managed to make me tear up on one occasion. While that’s a very subjective assessment it does say a lot about the movie. The movie has a rather weak opening, compared to the recently released DC Superhero Movie Aquaman it doesn’t capture the audience from the very beginning but rather leaves them hanging waiting for the feeling of having arrived in her world. The audience is waiting for the ‘I’m about to go on an adventure’ moment for essentially the whole movie. I never got to the stage of being completely invested in her story which usually happens at least at the end of the first act of a movie. Aquaman is a good example of a very immersive opening scene by opening Aquaman’s journey with a loud bang of a window blind slamming against a wall during a heavy storm. American Animals is another good example of a completely immersive opening, where over the course of a couple minutes the moviegoers are immediately captured by the story and intrigued. At the end of the scene the audience has arrived in the world of the protagonists and thereon begins the adventure. 

Sadly Captain Marvel doesn’t do that to the point that I barely remember how it begins and I left the theater roughly 3 hours ago. The opening sequence is interrupted by her waking up and revealing that she just had a bad dream. She then continues to look for Jude Law’s character Yon Rogg and their first interaction already tells you what kind of Character Carol Danvers is, she’s kind of sarcastic and has a dry humor I would say which I normally prefer and can relate to. However the first words she said  didn’t do anything for me and most of the audience members and I thought it was very bland and uninteresting. This conversation sets the tone for the rest of the movie. It’s not that she’s not funny or annoying or a bad person, but she has nothing distinctive to her. Anyone could’ve said these things, they’re not unique to her character. I know that it was only two lines but my point is that that’s how it continues. She does get funnier and more charismatic when she interacts with Fury and I do think that these scenes make her likeable and give her a certain edge, however these moment are quite rare and any other dialogue she has or decisions she makes are simply boring and almost predictable. I did enjoy that she feels like more of the girl next door type of character, as opposed to Gal Gadot’s Wonderwoman for example,which would make her more relatable, but somehow it doesn’t fit the story. They try to give her a backstory and some motivation but the scenes where they do try are never paid off. We see a couple flashbacks over and over again where she fails at go-karting or rope climbing, and they are supposed to be symbolic for her being human and never giving up, but the audience doesn’t feel that. To me it just showed that she fell down a couple of times and got up again but there’s no real plot twist in that narrative. They show a man in the Airforce telling her that she can’t control her emotions and therewith won’t ever be any good as an army pilot, but that moment is never paid off. In the first act they push the story line of her not being able to control herself because there’s more to her than being a fighter, like emotions and a moral compass, they just don’t bring that across. The pay off for all these scenes is the moment where she stands up to the higher intelligence by accepting that she’s human and therewith unlocks her full powers. It sounds great on paper but in reality the scenes didn’t do anything to the spectators. The person she stood up to has almost no significance, and it just continues the repeatedly shown narrative of her getting back up after she’s been down but we still don’t really understand her motivation. Also she doesn’t face any obstacles of trying to unlock her powers, she just does so by using them to its full extent. The idea of her humanity being the main hardship she has to battle with isn’t shown in an emotionally investive manner, she just says it. They showed her struggle with coming to terms with who she is in a way better sequence when Maria Rambeau tells her that she’s there for her and emphasizes on their strong friendship in the past. Maria Rambeau is the best written and most human character in the movie in my opinion. I truly feel for her and because she’s such a great character her words towards Carol have such a big influence that she is able to benefit from them and show her vulnerable human side, but unfortunately that’s the only thing where we see it because the climax just uses dialogue without any emotionally investing background. That was also the only moment that made me tear up because you could feel the confusion and hopelessness Carlos must’ve felt the whole time, discovering she was  brainwashed for the past six years and missed out on this great connection with Monica.

Another reason why the movie feels a little shallow are the stakes, who are basically non existent. I know that a lot of people say there aren’t ever real stakes in a Marvel movie which I fundamentally disagree with, BUT in this one there really aren’t any. She is already super powerful at the very beginning of this movie, and we’ve seen in the trailer that she can fly. Even without seeing the trailer they tease from the very beginning that she’s even stronger than we see in the first parts of the movie because characters like Yon-Rogg continuously tell her to hold back. Her ‘opponents’ don’t really seem to have any superpowers and she can easily overpower them mostly even in hand to hand combat. She’s never in any real danger which wouldn’t really be a problem if there were other obstacles she has to overcome but as I already stated her back story doesn’t really work and doesn’t prevent her from kicking ass at all. There’s no real inner or outer conflict. The big enemy Ronan just flees the scene upon seeing her powers, which is kinda cool at first glance and symbolizes how powerful she really is but it’s also insanely underwhelming. It’s very atypical for these powerful characters to just give up that easily. Imagine the Avengers just fleeing the scene everytime they see someone more powerful than them . Every Avengers movie would result in them giving up. I know that there’s more complexity in Avengers’ motives of why they keep fighting even in hopeless situations, but Ronan giving up that easily just seems like lazy writing and he’s only being used to demonstrate how powerful Captain Marvel is supposed to be, which just makes him a disposable plot device. The moment where she discovers her true strength comes as no surprise and there’s not even a visually satisfying scene of her coming into her full powers, other than the one we’ve already seen in the trailer countless times and a short cool scene of her falling, her eyes lighting up and realizing that she can fly. Also her powers aren’t very well established I still don’t know what her powers actually are, they seem boring and that thing she did which resulted in Ronan leaving was very abstract and not really a tangible concept to grasp, which I do realize sounds ridiculous because it’s a Superpower, but it still leaves me kinda confused of how she would for example try to defeat Thanos. I don’t know the full scope of her powers, other than people outside of the movie telling me that she’s supposed to be the strongest Avenger.

Talking about the visuals is also important when reviewing this movie. They’re just kinda bland. The only visually pleasing scenes are of her flying into space and preventing Ronan’s bombs to hit earth, but it’s too short and the badassness and the seriousness of her powers and that moment are taken away by her screaming about how much fun she’s having. Now it is a fun character trait to include her acting like that but it seems out of character, because she’s never seemed like the ‘screaming because of happiness’ type of character. Also in comparison to Thor in Ragnarok, who became this really funny goofy character, he doesn’t squeal of joy when he unlocks his full powers on the rainbow bridge. It’s a serious moment, it’s life or death for his people, but these stakes and the seriousness is never present in the third act of Captain Marvel.

To add another comparison of these two movies, Captain Marvel doesn’t really have a tone. It has semi grungy visuals but that’s it as far as that goes. Certain parts of the movie are too dark, like the very first Starforce mission and Captain Marvels battle against the Starforce at the end of the movie. The music isn’t special but a rather obvious choice and sometimes doesn’t go with the scenes at all. For example when Carol has to fight Yon-Rogg and the Starforce on Lawson’s Ship. The music and the seriousness and badassness of the scene don’t go together at all. The visuals alone can’t carry the theme of the movie and much like in the first Thor movie they chose a location that’s rather bland to begin with, which is parts of Los Angeles where you don’t see any landmarks and then somewhere in the desert. The switch from a beautiful outer space civilization to the plain desert hasn’t worked in Thor and didn’t work in Captain Marvel either. On top of that the space station of Dr. Lawson felt like an unfinished set piece in my opinion. It was just a room with space ship looking like walls and a couple of artifacts from earth randomly placed in the room, it again didn’t have a distinctive feeling to it, nor did it set any specific atmosphere for the scenes.The MCU has stepped up its game and knows what it’s doing with essentially every movie but Captain Marvel doesn’t portray that and feels very forgettable. If that was the first superhero movie I’ve ever seen I would’ve been amazed but only because of the visuals and because she’s a superhero and that’s always exciting. But we’re long past that. We live in a post Infinity War era, where Superhero movies have exceeded their genre and they tell the most human and grand and mind blowing stories in cinematic history. At first it might just be unfair to expect such a standard from an origin movie, but then I realized that I can still go back to Dr. Strange or Black Panther and be just as excited for their story as I was when I watched them the first time and they totally hold up even in the face of Infinity war, so Captain Marvel really has to step her game up, other heros have done it too. I really wanted to see the movie succeed considering Carol Danvers is going to be part of the MCU for a while now but I was disappointed. It was still an entertaining movie at times and I don’t regret going to the movies to see it but at its best it’s just mediocre which no superhero in the MCU deserves at this point. Captain Marvel is going to join the Avengers in Endgame and I hope that she’ll be ‘Russo’d’ just like Cap, Spider-man and Thor. I still believe in Marvel to make the right decisions to bring a glorious end to the first 10 years of the MCU. The clock to Endgame has begun !

Overall score: solid 5/10 

Quick complaints and thoughts:

(Goose’s eye-scratching scene should have happened at a different time in the movie, it felt kinda forced and short cut, but I liked the idea)

(The Avengers Initiative being named after Captain Marvel felt a little disrespectful to all the other heroes we’ve been with for the past 10 years, just didn’t feel deserved)

(Coulson was way underwritten, but I liked him more than I did in The Avengers)

(Did they have to release Captain Marvel before Endgame because they needed to introduce Goose as a Flerken in order to use her dimensional pockets to defeat Thanos ??)

#captain marvel #marvel #movie review #film review #movie #brie larson #samuel l jackson #mcu #avengers endgame #avengers #endgame #infinitywar #infinity war #goose the cat #skrulls #kree #mar-vell #yon-rogg #jude law #phil coulson #captain america #black widow #war machine #hulk #bruce banner #carol danvers #review #hollywood #super hero #hero

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT Rewatch: 1X01 - Pilot

Who says you can’t go home?

The “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time is almost divine in how adored it is. I write this intro just as I prepare to press play on it, and I feel an undeniable tension in my heart. Is there anything that can be said about this episode that hasn’t been said a hundred times before? Am I able to say hello again so soon after saying goodbye?

Only one way to find out. *Presses play*

This gets a little long, so I’m going to be a good Tumblarian and stick my thoughts below the cut! Hope you give them a read!

-Press Release There’s no actual press release for the “Pilot,” but let’s be real, we know the deal. Emma Swan, a bail bondsperson has one hell of a 28th birthday when the son she gave up for adoption 10 years ago - Henry Mills - comes to her doorstep. A trip back to Henry’s hometown introduces Emma to an assortment of townspeople and an even more uncanny story of heroes and fairy tales. Meanwhile, in the past, we see Snow White and Prince Charming cope and fight for their love and family as the Evil Queen threatens them with a curse most vile.

-General Thoughts For a series that needs to weave a central theme around at least two separate plots, simplicity can be one’s best friend, and the “Pilot” is the epitome of that. The plots in and of themselves are simple - a war against a tyrant with a major threat in the flashback and a woman who has never had a family now dealing with one being thrown her way. However, it feels so much bigger, and that’s because hanging around our mains are characters and settings that you just know are going to grow in addition to our mains and transform these simple realms into something greater, something epic. Surrounding Snow and Charming during their discussion in the war room are a set of dwarfs, a fairy, and a cricket, and those same characters show up in our world and at the very least, Archie and Graham hold a promise of a larger role if for no other reason than their professions. We are being promised a more epic story without ever taking away time from the main story, and that’s simply incredible. I feel like there’s so much to gush about when it comes to performances, and because I don’t want this to be super long, I’m just going to highlight some of my favorite moments from each actor and actress in a single sentence. Jennifer as Emma walking towards Ryan like she was the God damned Terminator made me laugh hard and it characterized her as someone cool and confident, allowing for later scenes to paint more of her nuances by showing her vulnerabilities and desires for people in her life. Lana as Regina has a commanding presence during the wedding scene and shows off just what kind of threat she will be to all of those in her way going forward. Ginny as Snow giving up her baby and eternally coining the line “her best chance” is heartbreaking in such a profound way and allows the tragedy of their 28-year separation to subtly play out here and more overtly carry weight throughout the rest of the series. Jared as Henry’s pleas to Emma to listen to him convey a sense of innocence and vulnerability that can bring one back to the most frustrating moments of their childhood. Josh as Charming’s determination as he rides upon his steed in those opening moments allow the audience to feel every bit of intensity and immediately give his relationship with Snow - however obvious the turnout will be - some stakes. Finally, last but certainly not least, Bobby’s chilling performance as Rumple in the jail cell - from the movements of his long fingernails toe the sickly sweet way some of his lines come across - make him suo mysterious and scary as well as give Granny’s lines about him owning the town added weight. Finally, on a funnier note, I’m not gonna lie, but I always wanted an episode that would canonize the “prettier than I” line. Come on - throw Leopold in there, we get a bit more nuance into their relationship as well as see the effects on Regina of Leopold’s neglect for her needs over Snow’s and make a Regina/Snow present plot and there could’ve been something cool!

-Insights Here’s something I noticed during the wedding scene - The necklace Regina wears is the same one that Samedi brought to her in 7x12’s flashback. See “Flip My Ship” for my feelings on that, but I will point out that this gives us new insight as to when Facilier and Regina first met, although as she’s seen wearing it as the curse hits, it’s safe to say that at least one, if not both, of them could be replacements. Another thing I noticed shortly after that I just found funny was how during Regina’s speech to the Charmings, a lot of the guests weren’t cowering as much as gently averting their gazes. While watching the war scene, I couldn’t help but contrast it to the one in the finale. Snow lacks all manner of optimism in the one in the premiere, but by the finale, she’s the epitome of optimism! The wolf always seemed really weird to me, and now that I’ve seen its full schtick throughout the seasons, I gotta say, I’m not impressed. At first, it seems like the wolf was supposed to be a protector of Storybrooke, acting as an agent against Regina. But we’ve only seen it a handful of times and it’s acted like more of a MacGuffin than anything. And MacGuffins are fine, but this one was clearly supposed to mean something and it never really did, not even really in relation to what one would think would be its focal character (Graham).

-Arcs It’s hard to do a segment for arcs when a series has just begun because, well - every arc, in essence is beginning! And honestly, they’re all good, so I’m just going to write out the arcs that have been introduced here. Emma journey of belief Snow finding Charming The power struggle against Regina

-Favorite Dynamic Emma and Regina. I wanted to point this out somewhere, but the framing of their dynamic works so well. Parents who adopt children are more parents to a child than the parents who gave them up for adoption (Unless of course the birth parents died). This is something that we (should) fundamentally understand, especially in a case like this. Regina’s lines about changing diapers, enduring tantrums, and the like are true, and we - as well as Emma - sympathize and agree with that. Her position as mayor as well as the mother of a runaway boy also asks us to question our own feelings towards Regina throughout the episode. The animosity also doesn’t happen from the moment Regina and Emma meet. However, the conflict between them is not so simple. Due to both Regina’s harsh attitude and her actions in the Enchanted Forest, there’s an unease as we watch her, and while Emma’s situation in this matter is far from ideal on any level, we trust her and believe in the bond between her and Henry because while there is harshness there, there’s also an understanding. It’s such a nuanced conflict and knowing now where it has ended - in such a state where both mothers can co-parent Henry and enjoy each other’s company - allows for me to enjoy experiencing it again and appreciate the intricate steps taken making their relationship what it was.

-Writers As you all know, this was Adam and Eddy’s first episode, and it’s pretty freakin’ good! Unfortunately, until I’ve examine more of their episodes, I don’t have a lot to say here. The one thing I do want to point out is that - just like Regina in today’s episode - they are really good at making a strong entrance!

-Culture What made the “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time so popular? I didn’t watch this episode during its initial airing, but what I do know about the time it was released was that a lot of the dramas that were released tended to be gritty. There were exceptions like ABC’s Desperate Housewives, but it was a turn for the edgy in media. And then a show like OUaT came out, one that not only promised hope, but actually allowed for a payoff in the first episode, no matter how small it was in terms of plot. The score especially sells it. While there’s a tone of sadness to it, it’s overarching theme is hope, and that come off so clearly as it plays when the time on the clock changes.

-Rating How can I give it anything other than a Golden Apple? For those that didn’t read my intro, that’s essentially 10/10 with an * for it being truly something else. This episode is marvelous from top to bottom and its barely existent weaknesses are naught but nitpicks. Not only that, I feel like it left me with so much. I just wrote two and a half pages about this episode and I still feel like I’ve done a disservice to it. I didn’t talk about how just relatable and charming and magical everyone is. I touched upon performances, but there’s still so much to be said about everyone. How is it that Robert Carlyle wasn’t even on screen for five minutes and still left one of the biggest impacts of anyone, even some of those more featured than he was? I still have loads to say about Henry and Emma’s dynamic (I was tempted to cheat and put them up there too). I could talk into eternity about the parallels and the setups and the goofy moments in the background. I could speak to how even in episode 1, Storybrooke becomes more not of a place, but a character. I want to read all kinds of things into the line “There’s not a lot of things I’m great at in life.” This episode is so great that it makes me feel guilty for not glorifying it enough, and that’s what makes it worthy of a Golden Apple.

-Flip My Ship Shadow Queen - HE HAD HER PILOT NECKLACE!!!! OMG! MY SHADOW QUEEN SHIPPER HEART IS JUMPING FOR JOY! Snowing - Snowing’s connection throughout this episode was just awe inspiring. You feel the connection between them in every word they spoke and every exchange of expressions they held. It’s demonstrated the most clearly when Snow asks Charming to go and see Rumple. Just the way that she says “him,” and with a look, you just see how he gets it. At the same time, they’re not without conflict and distinctions between the two of them. They have disagreements and act on their own, but are still unmistakably meant for each other. There are many relationships on the show that attempt realism, and even Snowing itself in Storybrooke will encounter that, but moments like these paint Snowing as fantastical and paint a picture of romance here that becomes iconic. Swan Queen - I love me some FoeTP’s and their’s was one hell of a start! The ambiguity of Regina’s intentions and motives as well as sprinkles of selfishness and coldness with and on Emma’s part make their chemistry truly delightful! I reflected on what I liked about them above in my “Dynamics” section, but everything there works fully down here too.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

And that about covers my thoughts on the premiere! I promise you that future posts won’t be nearly as long (Fingers crossed. This took quite a few hours to put together). Hope you liked them and thanks once more to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for putting this rewatch together! Season Tally (10/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (10/70)

#watching fairytales #ouat 1x01 #ouat #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #ships mentioned #snowing #swan queen #shadow queen

[marauders--mischief]

Little Things

Request by @craftersdust :  Heya! Just found your blog and I’m falling for it. I was wondering if you could write a one shot for Sirius x Reader inspired by the song “Little Things” from One Direction. Like, maybe he understands that he’s in love with her after he realises he caught even the tiniest details about her? Thank you ❤❤

Pairing: Sirius x Reader

Word Count: 2126

Warnings: Not going to lie, it gets a bit angsty but I swear it’s mostly fluffy. Insecurities.

A/N: I got a bit carried away lol. I tried to think of a better title but my brain refused to cooperate. I hope you like it! :D

****

Sirius Black did not do relationships.  

Sirius Black was the boy who was never seen without a leather jacket and ripped jeans. He was the boy with striking grey eyes, great hair and a smile that made everyone around him instantly love the boy. Sirius Black had nearly all the girls in Hogwarts falling at his feet. The point was, that Sirius Black did many things, but relationships wasn’t one of them.

How then, had he fallen in love with you?

It had started slowly. At first, he began to notice the intricate details of your face. How that, in the Summer, your freckles became more visible, like constellations that were mapped onto your face.  He discovered that your eyes changed colour depending on the weather. It was only a slight difference, but Sirius noticed. He couldn’t remember when it started, and sometimes, he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. But he had started paying very close attention to you. He learned that you muttered things under your breath whenever you were annoyed or angry so that you never hurt anyone’s feelings and regretted it later.

A few days later, he, James, Remus and Peter had gone down to breakfast earlier than usual. Imagine his delight when he saw you there, nibbling on a slice of toast whilst reading a book. He returned early to breakfast every morning after that, (though he always went alone), and no matter how accustomed he had become of it, he was always pleasantly surprised when he saw you again, sat in the exact same place as you were in the day before.  

Overtime, he had gradually compiled a list of all your preferences. Once he had found you asleep outside, head leant against the tree trunk and a Potions book held loosely in your hands. It looked as though you were speaking to yourself, and now he knew you talked in your sleep, he’d have to add it to the list.

When he finally realised it for himself, he was laid awake, staring at the red curtains of his four-poster bed. He was recalling all of your features and habits and trying to commit them to memory. It did take him a few more minutes to fully process his feelings towards you, but when he did, he immediately bolted upright and shook James awake.

“Prongs, Prongs! Wake up!” He shouted.

James jolts awake, for a moment scared something bad had happened, but quickly realising Sirius just needed to talk to someone.

“What’s the matter, Pads?” He yawned.

He didn’t see the need to delay the point. “It’s Y/N. I- I think I love her, James.”

James grins widely, apparently now much more alert. He was practically jumping up and down on the bed. “That’s great, Pads!”

Sirius slumps down back onto his bed. “No, it’s not,” he mutters. “She doesn’t like me that way.”

“Pshh, that’s easy to fix, Padfoot. Have to make her jealous that’s all.”

Luckily, the noise the two of them had caused had woken up Remus, who was still sleepy, (he had tried to get back to sleep, but their conversation was too interesting), but he was conscious enough to be able to put a stop to the plan before it started. “No Padfoot. You can’t do that mate.”

“Oh yeah, Moony? Why not?” James asks.

“Well, one, you’re taking advice from James, who, if you hadn’t noticed, has been unsuccessful getting the girl he’s liked since first year to go out with him. So, why you’d take dating advice from him is beyond me.” Remus was more awake now, and he had sat up to face the black-haired boy. “Two, do you really think that making her jealous is going to make her like you?”

“Yes,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

Everyone thought that Peter had managed to sleep through the noise, so when he throws a pillow directly into Sirius’ face, it was safe to say it caught him off-guard. Clearly, Peter had been awake a long time.  

“Thanks, Wormtail.” Remus says, before turning to address Sirius, giving him an exasperated sigh. “Wrong Sirius. It won’t.”

“Well, if you’re so good at all this, please tell me what in the bloody world I’m meant to do then.”

“Well, it’d probably be best to just tell her how you feel.”  

Sirius scoffs. Remus said it as though it was the easiest thing in the world. But it wasn’t. What if he did something incredibly embarrassing in front of you. or even worse, what if you rejected him?  

But eventually, Remus manages to persuade him into doing at breakfast in the morning. “You both go down early, we’ve seen her before remember?”  

Sirius nods. He doesn’t mention that he’d been down to breakfast early a lot more often since that time.

“Yeah, mate. We’ll help you,” James said, rejoining the conversation. “Besides, she couldn’t say no to you. You are Sirius Black, after all.”

Never before had Sirius experienced nervousness as much as he was now. He kept on withdrawing his hands from his pockets before ultimately deciding that not showing his hands was a better option, especially when he couldn’t stop messing around with his tie. When the four of them arrived at the Great Hall, hardly anyone was there. It was only you, them and three other people. As usual, you were sat on your own, fully immersed in the book you were reading. He walks over to the table you were sat on and sat directly opposite you, whilst the James, Remus and Peter sat further up the table. Sirius watched as you read to the end of the chapter and then you looked up at him.

***Y/N’S PERSPECTIVE***

You saw Sirius enter the Great Hall out of the corner of your eyes. He usually didn’t come with the rest of the Marauders, but you shrug it off, they were his best friends. What shocked you most, was when he came over to you and sat right across from you. Sure, you didn’t hate Sirius. Hell, you had even spoken to each other in Transfiguration before. There was a chance you could’ve been wrong, but you didn’t think that those things warranted him to come to talk to you. You pretend to read to the end of the chapter of the book your reading while you attempt to prepare yourself to talk to him. Yes, you fancied him. But then again, who didn’t?

His grey eyes are staring into yours intently, and you quickly look away, scolding yourself. Rule number one for talking to Sirius Black: as hard as it proves to be, avoid the eyes. It’s very easy to get lost in them and all it makes you do is make a fool of yourself.

He smiles at you. “Hey.”

“Hello, Sirius. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to talk to you, that’s all.”  

“Oh.” Honestly, you weren’t expecting that. You’d thought he’d want help with homework or something. Unfortunately, he took this the wrong way, and proceeded to get up.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll erm- I’ll just leave you alone then.” You can’t help but notice he looks kind of disappointed.  

“No!” You exclaim, a little too loudly. Your shout grabbed the attention of one of the other students, though they soon returned to their own business. “Sorry,” you blushed. “I just- I didn’t mean I wanted you to leave. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Sirius sat back down looking relieved. “Why would you be surprised?”

“Well, I’m not exactly the most interesting person in the world.”

He shakes his head. “I think the opposite, actually.”

“Huh?”

“Well, the reason I sat over here today was because… well, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend.” He hesitates a moment. “…As a date.”

“Of course! I’d love to.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. As soon as you had accepted his offer, he seemed to gain his confidence back straight away.

“Well, I’ll see you there, then,” and he returned back to his friends, watching as you left the Great Hall, a slight skip in your step.

It had been three months since that day, and you had been a couple ever since. When he asked you after you left The Three Broomsticks, you responded by pressing your lips to his, overwhelmed with feelings of giddiness and elation.

You would’ve liked to say that the time you had been in a relationship with Sirius had been the best time of your life, which to some extent it had. Whenever Sirius saw you, he treated you as though you were his world and you couldn’t be happier. But that was the problem; whenever he saw you. To you, it seemed like you hadn’t seen him at all in the past week. In the beginning, you just told yourself that you were probably being clingy and he would see you whenever he could, but slowly, you began to doubt yourself. You knew you weren’t anything special when it came to a comparison to the other girls in your year. They were all so much prettier and funnier. At the time, you had been too pleased to let your insecurities get the better of you, but now you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking that Sirius was avoiding you because he had finally realised there were much better options he could choose from.  

You didn’t know how far from the truth you were.

***SIRIUS’ PERSPECTIVE***

Sirius was with Remus in the library. He was supposed to be studying for the potions assessment they had the next week, but instead he was swinging on two legs of his chair and discussing his problem with Remus.

“I just don’t know how to act in a relationship, Moony,” he confessed. “With the other girls, it was so easy because I never had to worry about what they would think about me. But with Y/N, I get worried whenever I do something, she might not like it or that she’ll just get annoyed of me being there.”

Remus took a moment before he responded, trying to finish his paragraph on where to find a beozar. “Has she ever not liked something you’ve done?”

“I don’t think so, bu-”

Remus cut him off. “Has she ever seemed annoyed by you?”

“No, but-.”

“Well then, there’s your answer. You should probably go talk to her though. Lily says she’s been a bit upset recently.”

“Thanks, Moony.”

You were sat on the grounds, admiring the sunset. You weren’t really supposed to be out here this late but it was better than the possibility of running into Sirius. If you saw him, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold your emotions back. Your efforts, it seemed, were pointless. No sooner did you think this, did he run around the corner, panting.  

For a moment, you forget you’re even upset. “Why are you panting?”

“I have… been… looking… everywhere for you.” His words separated by his heavy breathing.

“Why?” You huff, unable to control how annoyed you sounded, which was a rare occurrence for you. “You haven’t bothered looking for me at all for the past week. Why start now?”

“I love you.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“You say you love me, but there’s so many better girls out there for you.”

He frowns. He knew Lily said you were upset, but he didn’t know it was because of him. He couldn’t see why you thought so little of yourself when you were his everything. “I know you don’t like to wear plain socks because you think they’re boring, I know that you’ve read your favourite book exactly 23 times, I know that in class, I’m certain that at least 90% of the time you know the answer, but you’re too scared to draw attention to yourself. You never put chocolate on pancakes no matter how many times Remus says you should try it and you laugh at your own jokes. You-”

“Sirius, what are you doing?”

“Proving I love you.”

He continues with his list, mentioning all the things he noticed about you from how you played with your hair whenever you were nervous to the fact that you couldn’t sleep without a hot chocolate before bed.

You stare at him, completely dumbfounded that he could remember all of these little things about you.  

“I love everything about you, Y/N. All of those things. They’re what made me fall for you in the first place. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d understand straight away. But, even if I have to recite my list of things I love about you every day, I promise, I’ll help you realise that I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

#sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black #remus lupin #lily potter #james potter #peter pettigrew #marauders era #marauders #sirius black angst #sirius black fluff #sirius angst #sirius fluff #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius x reader fluff #sirius black x reader angst #sirius x reader angst #mischiefmanaged #harry potter #harry potter angst #harry potter fluff #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot #sirius black fanfiction #marauders imagine #marauders fanfiction #marauders one shot #harry potter fanfiction #mine

[wicela-posts]

Harry Potter Next-Gen...

So, I write fanfics, but I love reading them too. Unfortunately I find it difficult to get to the fanfics I particularly enjoy, with exactly the way I like the characters. The most popular ones, I’ve already red and the not so popular ones, I can’t find. I know there must be some good ones out there I haven’t been able to find. What do I like in a Harry Potter Next-Gen fanfic? I especially ship Scorose. I used to be a huuuuge Dramione shipper, but then I discovered that I liked it much more to play by JK’s rules. She didn't think they would end up together, so the ship sailed for me. Scorose however...completely different story. This is how I imagine the characters in a Scorose fanfic:

Rose Weasley, Ravenclaw: Rose doesn’t really like many people around her. She can enjoy her family, but she likes to observe them from a distance. She is really smart, very clumsy, funny and a bit oblivious whenever someone shows any (love) interest in her. I always imagine her being irritated at Scorpius Malfoy, because he’s smart too and he challenges her. I don’t think they would really hate each other, more passionate about trying to beat him and not knowing why exactly this felt like something important. I think they both realise Post-Hogwarts that they miss the challenge and how that feels.

Albus Potter, Slytherin: Albus starts out as a shy guy, hoping that someone will like him, even though he was sorted into Slytherin of all houses. He discovers Scorpius isn’t that bad and Rose still wants to be his friend. He’s not the ladies man, like his brother, but he does have his flings here and there. In my fan fictions Albus mostly ends up gay for some reason. Albus plays Quidditch and is a Seeker, like his dad. The older he gets, the wittier and funnier he gets.

Scorpius Malfoy, Slytherin: Just like Albus, Scorpius is shy in the beginning of his Hogwarts career; this is because of his surname. Albus and he are both scared, which bonds them and ends up in them becoming best friends. Scorpius is smart and handsome. The older he gets, the more of a ladies man he gets. He’s sexy, flirty and very quick with words. Every girl but Rose falls for his charms. He likes to challenge her and tries every time to flirt with her, but Rose doesn’t take him seriously. Post-Hogwarts he finds out how much he really likes her. Scorpius also plays Quidditch.

Lily Potter, Gryffindor: A very girly girl, really likes it when Victoire and Teddy make their relationship official (Victoire had been like an older sister to her anyways, as she was as often as Teddy was at her house). Her family doesn’t underestimate her, because she’s good in cursing people and able to stand up for herself. She has more confidence than Rose and likes to date around - even though her brothers don’t approve. Hugo is her best friend.

Hugo Weasley, Gryffindor: Hugo is a quiet, but smart kid. He plays a lot of Quidditch, which makes his father really proud. Even though he has the brains, he doesn’t have the compassion to study as much as his older sister. Hugo stands up for his friends and family and isn’t afraid to help them if needed. He looks a lot more vulnerable than he is.

James Potter, Gryffindor: I imagine James being much like his namesake and pranking around with his cousin Fred. He’s a ladies man, but a bit of a hypocrite, as he doesn’t like Lily acting like this around boys - especially his Quidditch teammates. James barely makes it through Hogwarts - even though he could’ve done it easily - because he’s too busy playing Quidditch and pranking people. His best friend is Fred II Weasley.

Fred Weasley, Gryffindor: Even though Fred is funny, handsome and popular, he has more of a serious side than James. This is because of his father, who never really recovered after the man he was named after died. Sometimes his father runs away, because something happens what his father really wants to share with his brother. Fred does sleep around a bit, but not as much as James and he takes on more serious relationships.

Roxanne Weasley, Slytherin: I always imagined Roxanne being best of friends with Dominique and the both of them being total badasses. Roxanne would’ve had a lot of boyfriends if they weren’t so afraid of her. Roxanne says everything that comes into her head, she curses, she plays Quidditch like a madman and helps her brother and James with pranks. She never backs out and if someone messes with her family, Roxanne is the first one to hex them.

Louis Weasley, Gryffindor: Louis is more of a pretty boy, compared to James, Fred and Scorpius. Louis woos his girlfriends, stays with them for a pretty long time and then breaks it off. He’s genuinely nice, very handsome and always the one who would organise something.

Dominique Weasley, Slytherin: Dominique is the first Weasley to be a Slytherin and even though no one really expected anything else, they were in a bit of a shock when it did happen. Dominique, however, was the one who worried the least. She was done with her elder sister who liked to play with dolls and make-up and who worried about boys - one in particular. I imagine Dominique to be bisexual at least and not caring about it. Without announcing it, taking a girl home and declaring her her girlfriend when her parents raise brows.

Victoire Weasley, Gryffindor: Even though her sister thinks she’s boring, Victoire is more of a badass than Dominique realises and she’s the one supporting her sister’s girlfriend more than anyone. The two girls will never be best of friends, but they do respect each other. Victoire has also been in love with Teddy for as long as she’s known him, but does date other guys, because they really seem to like her. Victoire is very popular everywhere she goes.

Teddy Lupin, Hufflepuff: Teddy doesn’t think about girls until at least fourth year at Hogwarts when Vcitoire has a boyfriend who he doesn’t particularly likes and then discovers he has never liked any of her boyfriends. He has difficulties in his life and the only one who can really help him with that is Victoire. Everyone in the Potter/Weasley clan (from parents to children) try to help him with it, because everyone loves Teddy.

So I realise I can’t find a oneshot or fan fiction that will completely match with these characters (some of them never even show up in the fan fictions), but I know I’m rubbish at writing all of these things by myself (I generally update once a year or so?). I also realise I didn’t mention Lucy and Molly Weasley. This is because I don’t know for sure how much I like them. I’m sure their mother will be very nice, but we all know Percy and even though we might’ve forgiven him, he isn’t our favourite person in the word. Even though I have quite figured out how I like my next-gen, I can’t seem to settle on Lucy and Molly. I don’t think they would be very outgoing people, but I don’t think they’re boring either. Not sure, not sure.

So if anyone has a recommendation for a fanfic that would match these characters, please don't hesitate to message me! And if anyone is inspired and can write a fanfic with these charasteristics, I'll be reading it!!

#advice #harry potter #harry potter next generation #next generation #hp #scorose #scorpius malfoy #rose weasley #scorpius x rose #post-hogwarts #slytherin #ravenclaw #albus potter #hugo weasley #lily potter #james potter #fred weasley #roxanne weasley #louis weasley #dominique weasley #victoire weasley #teddy lupin

[existential-shower]

stranger things 2 spoilers

I’ll make this now while I’m taking a break from writing my article, but i thought stranger things 2 was great! 

things i liked: 

Seeing Will get more screen time bc hOLY SHIT Noah Schnapp can ACT that kid had me in tears the whole time

The justice for Barb was good even i wasn’t really into Barb that much but I’m glad there was come closure for her family

Hopper and Eleven’s father/daughter relationship 

Steve’s character was AWESOME compared to how he was in season one

Steve’s interactions with the kids was sweet especially with Dustin 

Loved the references to season one

this season seemed funnier

Hawkins lab actually fucken tired to help with the problem here

Seeing more of Eleven’s (or should i say Jane’s) backstory warmed my cold dead heart

Eleven’s badass look

Loved the references to D&D so they could figure out what the hell was gong on 

Bob Newby was a decent fucking guy and I’m glad Joyce got something nice for a while 

the memories scene in the shack WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

That whole ghostbusters scene was fucking adorable 

Mike and Eleven FINALLY going to the Snow Ball 

The entire ending scene actually  

music choices were A+

made me happy the characters were back in action 

Things i didn’t like: 

Jonathan and Nancy like wtf?? I’m a Steve and Nancy person so that made me a little upset. but if they were gonna put Jonathan and Nancy together then it could’ve been done better. it felt like fan service because even though i was able to figure out that they probably ended up together by the end of the season, it would’ve been nice for that to be elaborated on besides just having them make out in that one scene. 

BOB FUCKING DYING??? i knew from the start that bitch was probably gonna die, and I’m kinda pissed that this new character who was good for Joyce and possibly her family was just killed off like that like why can’t these people have nice things #justiceforbob

The lost sister episode; it was good and i liked it but I’m having trouble figuring out exactly why eleven went to Chicago in the first place. someone please explain this to me because i want to be convinced that the episode wasn’t just filler

Not seeing will’s true character; idk if we’ll ever see how will was like before end ended up in the upside down, but i just want that poor kid to be happy and safe again (but A+ acting again on Noah’s part) 

Max’s character; of course we had plenty of time to watch the original stranger kids develop over the course of season one, but i wish there was more development in Max’s character because i really liked her but i felt like she was used for Dustin and Lucas’s love triangle 

also THE LOVE TRIANGLES NEED TO GO JUST MAKE IT A LOVE CIRCLE WITH TWO PEOPLE PLEASE

i wanted more eleven and will interaction but oh well the kid was possessed so that wouldn’t have worked anyway

the plot; i only have a small issue with the plot. i understand that it was probably hard to follow up to a show that blew up like this one, but it felt like the ending was rushed. The solution felt too simple, but maybe that’s just a set up for a possible season 3. 

i wish billy was just a better person but god that guy was a dick

this doesn’t mean i necessarily hated the second season, i loved it actually! it was worth the wait and there were high expectations for this season and they did deliver. I give it a solid 8/10 because the the first season was set up with great character development, an excellent plot and lovable actors. It made me happy to see the characters back at it with their shenanigans and world-saving ass-kicking selves, and that was incredibly satisfying after waiting for over a year. Even though i loved season two, season one was an 11/10 (lol I’m not that funny) and nothing will ever EVER top that okay gotta get back to my homework this took way too long

edit: i forgot to mention, this season was very emotionally harrowing, i was crying almost every episode, so props to the ENITRE cast especially those kids for the amazing acting and skill you’ve shown this season

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #stranger things 2 #stranger things 2 spoilers #spoilers

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #192 - Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Oh yes

Did I like it then: It’s grown on me.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD (although we watched my brother’s blu-ray copy)

1) Watching this film is a tradition to do on my brother’s birthday (which was in August but I’m behind on my rewatch posts). We’ve been doing it for 9 years (give or take a year) and it kinda grows on you.

2) I’m a sucker for 4th wall breaks in movies, so the numerous ones in this film are appreciated.

3) Honestly, the rapping which bookends the film feels like a misguided attempt by Mel Brooks to make the film “hip”. It just doesn’t really work and doesn’t feel like it belongs in a Mel Brooks bit.

4) There are actually quite a few clever gags in this film. A lot of them come from the very first scene in Jerusalem’s prison with Robin and Falafel.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

5) Cary Elwes as Robin Hood.

Elwes was cast in The Princess Bride back in 1987 because of his “Errol Flynn” like quality. Now he plays a role which is one of Flynn’s most iconic. He commits to the part in the grandest of Mel Brooks’ tradition, as set before by Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein and Bill Pullman in Spaceballs. Elwes’ Robin is wonderfully buffoonish and ridiculous, with most of the humor coming from his lack of self awareness. It would be easy for an insecure actor to give a wink to the audience that lets them know he’s aware they’re stupid, but Elwes isn’t afraid of appearing idiotic. He embraces it. Robin should come across as an idiot. That’s the gag!

6) I relate to Achoo so much.

Robin [while going into a fight]: “Watch my back!”

[Robin gets hit in the back twice.]

Achoo: “You’re back just got hit twice.”

Robin: “Thank you.”

7) Dave Chapelle as Achoo.

Chapelle’s ability to play the straight man in this film is absolutely amazing. A legendary comic, Chapelle basically represents the audience. I mentioned that Robin is blissfully unaware of the foolishness in his life, but Achoo is hysterically aware of it. He’s observations are comedically wonderful and just all around inspired. Chapelle is a wonderful addition to the cast.

8) Blinkin, the blind butler.

The film is able to take an absurd concept that was taken so seriously in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and take it to its naturally funny punchline. While many of Blinkin’s jokes may fall flat, his overall presence is appreciated and does lend to some nice comedy all around.

9) Robin losing everything he loved shouldn’t this funny.

(Screenshot taken of a GIF set originally made by @thorinss)

10) I despise the Home Alone “joke” this film makes. It is the first in a long line which shows that just because you make a pop culture reference doesn’t mean you’re being funny.

11) Roger Rees as the Sheriff of Rottingham

Roger Rees is the definite scene stealer of the show, outshining even Dave Chapelle’s Achoo. He is able to take ownership of every moment he’s in by playing the Sheriff as a bigger idiot than even Robin to a wonderfully hysterical degree. I got a chance to see Rees on stage before his passing (when he played Gomez Addams in The Addams Family) and I could see from that his comedic talent was not only limited to his work with Mel Brooks. All in all, for me, Roger Rees will always be my favorite performance in the film.

12) Amy Yasbeck as Marion.

Yasbeck - like Elwes - commits to the silliness of Marion. Although more of a spoof than a character at times, it’s a damn good spoof. By taking aim at old school “fair maiden” tropes and sort of the humorous daintiness of that, Yasbeck is able to hold her own against Elwes and the insanity of a Brooks’ movie.

13) Richard Lewis as Prince John.

If the Sheriff of Rottingham is the evil version of Elwes’ Robin (in his embracing of the character’s foolishness) then Roger Lewis is the evil version of Achoo. He plays it modern, very aware of kind of the idiocy around him, and casual to the point of funny. He has the ridiculously strong chemistry with Roger Rees which makes all their scenes a treat and all in all totally fun.

14) Tracy Ullman as the witch/cook Prince John goes to in times of need and she’s fine enough in the part. It’s not exactly a fountain of character writing but she’s funny enough and works with the part well.

Prince John [after Latrine says her family changed the name when they came to England]: “You changed it TO Latrine?”

Latrine: “Yeah. Used to be shit house!”

Prince John [after nodding]: “Good change!”

14.1) Also, Latrine promises to make a magic potion that’ll make Robin worthless if Prince John puts in a good word for her with Rottingham. He agrees and then…it never comes up again. At all. It’s like the scene never happened. And I’m just like…

15) Hey, that’s Erik Allan Kramer!

16) The bow staff fight between Robin and Little John is actually pretty clever, primarily because of just how funnily it deteriorates into a slapping game.

17) Remember what I mentioned in note #10? Well, we get these two “jokes” back to back.

Will Scarlett: “My full name is Will Scarlett O’Hara. We’re from Georgia.”

Achoo [after Robin fails to jump on his horse]: “Man, white men can’t jump.”

Repeat after me: making a pop culture reference is not the same as making a joke.

18) However, this is pretty funny.

According to IMDb:

The gag about Robin being able to speak with an English accent is a reference to Kevin Costner's performance in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991). Unfortunately viewers who saw both movies in a dubbed version couldn't get this gag. For the German dubbed version the gag was changed to: "because I - unlike some other Robin Hood - do not cost the producers 5 million". The German word "kosten" (cost) was also pronounced to sound a little bit like Costner. In the French (France) and Italian (Italy) dubbed versions, it is translated as, "Because unlike other Robin Hoods, I do not dance with the wolves", referring to another Kevin Costner movie Dances with Wolves (1990). In Quebec, the translation becomes "Because unlike other Robin Hoods, I accept to wear tights," which refers to the fact that Costner didn't wear tights in the 1991 movie. In the Hungarian version, he says "Because unlike Kevin Costner, I have a shapely bottom," a reference to the infamous fact that Costner used a body double in the nude scene.

19) The castle fight has a number of clever bits but some could’ve been cut in support of pacing. The scene as a whole drags at times and can come across as dull instead of fun like it should be. Tightening it up may have helped.

20) If only for Dave Chapelle’s Malcolm X impression, this is my favorite scene in the entire film.

I also love the juxtaposition between Robin’s Churchill and (again) Chapelle’s X. It just really works for me.

21) Hey…isn’t that David DeLuise? The dad from “Wizards of Waverly Place?”

22) Ah, the obligatory Mel Brooks cameo.

23) Dom DeLuise as Don Giovani.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights - Don Giovanni - watch more funny videos

Okay, I lied. THIS is my favorite scene in the entire film. DeLuise is absolutely hysterical and why the scene may be a bit too long, I just don’t care. He’s so fucking funny! His Brando impression is a gift from above and I’ve got a feeling most of his shit was improvised. It’s just…it speaks largely to the talent of Dom DeLuise. I love it.

24) This is probably the best Blinkin gag in the film.

[Blinkin falls from a tree, dusts himself off, then starts to look around.]

Blinkin: “I can see!”

[Blinkin walks right into a tree then takes a step back.]

Blinkin: “Nope. I was wrong.”

25) The “Men in Tights” song is a much better fit for this film than the rap. It feels organic to the kind of comedy the film embraces and is just pretty fun.

26) “The Night is Young” is similarly organic and a better fit than the wrap, but it probably shouldn’t have been put back-to-back with the previous song. We need a little variety.

27) I love this.

(GIFs originally posted by @summercountess)

I love that the filmmakers aren’t even trying to explain why he gets another shot. It’s just, “It’s in the script.” I mentioned I’m a sucker for fourth wall breaks and this one takes the cake for me!

28) There are a lot of gags in this movie which were funnier in other Mel Brooks films.

Prince John’s, “I have a mole?” vs Igor’s, “What hump?” from Young Frankenstein.

“Walk this way!” in this film vs Young Frankenstein.

The hangman in this film vs Blazing Saddles.

etc.

29) The fight scene is actually what the castle fight should’ve been more like. The swashbuckling action is fun and mixed well with gags and slapstick humor.

Rottingham: “En guard!”

Robin: “Thanks for the warning!”

Also they run into a crew member on his break, which continues my love for 4th wall breaks.

30) And a wild Patrick Stewart appears!

He has a Scottish accent because Sean Connery made a similarly random cameo at the end of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with his natural accent. It’s kinda weird and doesn’t add much but who cares, it’s Patrick Stewart!

While there are other funnier Mel Brooks movies out there and better Robin Hood films out there, Robin Hood: Men in Tights does exactly what it is supposed to do: it gives you a 100 minute distraction with silly comedy and fun performances that can act as a break from your day. Cary Elwes is a delight as Robin, with Roger Rees, Richard Lewis, Dave Chapelle, and Amy Yasbeck all showing off their comedic chops. It’s just fun. Occasionally stupid, yes. Some of the jokes do fall painfully flat (like that Home Alone gag), but by the end of the film you’ll probably have gotten in a few chuckles and feel like it’s time well spent. It’s just silly Mel Brooks fun.

#Robin Hood Men in Tights #Mel Brooks #Cary Elwes #Roger Rees #Dave Chapelle #Richard Lewis #Amy Yasbeck #Patrick Stewart #Erik Allan Krammer #Dom DeLuise #David DeLuise #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Movie #Film #GIF

[stlplaybox]

A TFN journey: a story in 3 parts - Part 3

2017 was my first Transformers convention. As a collector with more than a modest affection for Transformers, it had always felt like a box I needed to tick off. This is the third part of my story at TFNation.

If you’re joining me for the first time you can find parts one and two here and here respectively.  

A convention roars to life and stutters to a halt as abruptly as Predacons on a march. In the time span of days you ride the current and eddies of an energon rush. The whirlwind of experiences that accumulate meld into a hazy mess that you find yourself trying to piece together. For some it’s easy, for others it’s hard. I fell into the latter category.

I’m not sure if it felt particular harder because it was my first convention or it was because of the distance I’d traverse to get there but it took a while for my understanding to coalesce.  

What did become clear was that the comfort of finality was constantly thwarted by continuity. Conventions are sliding doors. You meet someone, chat with them, share great stories, build on old ones and move on. What’s never clear is if the story’s ended. You’re never sure if, where and when you might bump into them again.

That makes it hard to land on a sense of finality, to get a sense of closure, because you’re constantly accumulating new information. Whether its the big things like another piece of someone’s story or learning a bit more about their body language and mannerisms, incorporating this new information makes it hard to fully digest everything. It’s harder too as the late convention nights start to take their toll and you find yourself in need of a good slumber in the CR chamber.

I’ve mentioned Bobby and Matt previously but I want to start with them again. Two strangers who made me feel comfortable on the first night, I’d regularly meet them again and again over the course of the three days. Each time, I’d learn a little bit more about them, see how they were faring, and once again be grateful for generosity. More than that, through these repeat encounters I re-met people like Steve and Maz or met new people like the wonderfully talented Sam (who completed Trypticon hip surgery on the bar floor!).

Then there was finding Veicki (@megapurrv). At breakfast on Saturday, Veicki spotted me in my Rodimus costume. Turns out she was the one who’d made the t-shirt that was the centrepiece of my holo avatar costume. As I sat down to feast on the scrumptious Hilton breakfast, I penned in getting a photo with her later on. I mean, what were the odds of bumping into the person who designed my t-shirt? Something that had led to a mountain of fun? But as the hours of Saturday passed, ClubCon came and went, time snowed into the deep hours of Sunday morning at the bar, and another breakfast passed I thought I’d missed my chance. That’s the thing about conventions. You can never be sure if you’ll bump into someone again or have another chance to chat with them. You have to make the most of the opportunities you get. Fortunately for me, I did find Veicki just before I had to scurry away. I’m grateful to her for being such a large part of my TFNation story.

Among the reasons I chose TFNation over other conventions was Maz (@TFsquareOne). More than being the strong creative force that he is, Maz is a strong spark of positivity. A must in a fandom that predicates its joy on rekindling the fires of yesterday. I will admit to being apprehensive about spending some of my holiday time for a convention but I can attest that Maz radiates a lot of what is great about TFNation. The positivity, the camaraderie, the openness.

I also owe a lot to Maz. Pushing me to set up my collection was important. Coming home to my toy room, sitting in it, is an amazing experience. Left to my own devices, I would have procrastinated for years. The satisfaction I feel everytime I sit in it is hard to describe. But more important than that, Maz asking me to write a collector interview was something that forced me to reflect on one of the major privileges I’ve enjoyed in life. It made me acknowledge and appreciate my better half and the understanding she’s shown of my second love; a topic I somehow ended up chatting with Sexo (@sixo) about! So I looked forward to meeting this sod in the flesh.

An innately likeable bloke, Maz whirlwinded around TFNation. We crossed paths many times but it wasn’t until a quiet moment on Sunday afternoon that things slowed down enough for a meaty chat. It was amid this that he asked an incisive question. The exact wording eludes me but it was along the lines of “You seem to be doing really well for yourself?” It’s a hard question for me. One that I struggle with most days. For me, it’s hard because it carries the full weight of privilege that I know I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy in this life. And the open question that that leaves me with is what am I going to achieve with that privilege? Beyond a successful career that affords me the opportunity to travel wherever I want, buy whatever I want? It’s a burden I continue to struggle with but I do know one thing for sure: that I’m obligated to try and be a source of positivity and warmth. If there’s someone who embodies that, it’s Maz. I waffled and meandered but I think I mouthed off something vaguely coherent to Maz. It wasn’t the sort conversation I expected to have at TFNation but if I was going to have it with someone, I’m glad it was Maz.

Last and certainly not least I have to thank Graham (@grhmthmsn) and Dom (@domsalvia). There’s no way I could write about this weekend without mentioning them. I’d interacted with both a lot online before TFNation. When I met both on Friday night, it was clear they were as adoringly charming in real life as they were online. Throughout the weekend our paths crossed regularly and I’m incredibly grateful to share a bunch of memories with them both across the weekend. Whether it was our conversation at the bar on Friday evening, camping in line on Saturday morning, being introduced to the amazingly talented and affable Lisa (@DarkestH0ur), the fun in James Roberts’ queue, sharing a Blurr-like meal before ClubCon, or that conversation with Sexo about photography on Sunday, those guys were so much of what made TFNation great for me. I hope I was able to fully convey my appreciation to each of them.

You would think the story ends there. But it doesn’t. Something I’ve come to realise is that a convention like TFNation creates not only new memories but, more than that, new strands of continuity. Trying to organise them into tidy compartments is an exercise in futility. You might as well be Lug trying to dissuade Anode from a reckless course of action. This dawned upon me in the days post TFNation as I found myself still unpacking those things through the imperfect lens of information creep.

The post convention TFNation love you feel (on Twitter for me) makes you realise that you’ve formed new and stronger bonds with people you had only fleetingly known, bonds that make interacting with them all the more meaningful and fun.

There are the people you kind of knew but now know more about. Gareth (@SantiagoJones) was a sneaky bugger and snuck in a little reference I almost missed in a display of his hidden artistic talents. Every time I watch Geelong, an Australian Rules Football team, play now I think of fondly of him. He’s also responsible for a tweet that caused me to snort inappropriately in the middle of a pretty intense meeting. It was funnier because having met Mr. Jones I could hear the voice that was delivering the tweet. There’s also Kit (@tikgnat, a.k.a. Collector Interview 40) who I knew more by his hilarious resume of work rather than by who he was. Being able to hear his infectiously cheeky voice now whenever he trolls something adds an extra layer of amusement. These countless little post-convention moments remind me that TFNation wasn’t just an awesome Transformers convention, it was also a catalyst: a catalyst for new stories, new bonds, and new friendships.      

But it also applies to the doors you missed. Missed opportunities with people re-manifest with unexpected acts of generosity and kindness. I missed Ben (@Waspshot) but he kindly posted me the amazing Refined Robot Co. booklet. In another example of things not going to plan but working out better than Prowl could’ve planned, Stuart (@Inflatabledalek) sent me a copy of his book that I’d forgotten to procure in person in the steam-rolling rush that was TFNation. You can find this wonderful walk down memory lane here. There’s also Becka (@tainkirrahe). I recognised her on Twitter post TFNation. Though I didn’t talk to her at TFNation, she seemed at ease and comfortable. But there was more than meets the eye there and in the weeks after TFNation I learnt about her amazing story of personal courage and fortitude. In many ways, it reminded me of the fragile journey my little sister is on and the role I still have to play in that.  

Then there’s your own collecting. Collecting is generally a very personal and isolated thing. A convention brings to life figures new and old. Whether it be through conversation, observing robot surgery, cheeky posing, or browsing the stalls, you collect stories about toys that are additive to the appreciation of your collection. Many moments come to mind but two stick out more than others. The first was Maketoys Galaxy Meteor who was tucked under the arm of a generous collector’s father on his way to the car which I rambled on about in part two. As a result, even before the #GetMakeToysMade episode, I knew this figure was going to be special to me. The second was Micron Legends Tidal Wave where the collector (Tim, I think!) and I spent time reminiscing where we were at in that era of collecting. These shared moments come home with you. They make that next time you cross that old toy an extra bit special or that wait on that new toy just a bit more exasperating.  

There are still so many stories that I was fortunate enough to accumulate but can’t fit here. But the fact I’m not able to squeeze  those in does not make any of those less special. Hell, there’s a a wonderful Simon Furman story in there. But TFNation was great not because of any one event. It was great because of the kindness and generosity of the community that was there.

My TFNation experience reminded me that there’s never a script. The primal search for a satisfactory sequence of events, a sense of finality, is undermined by the fact that reality is a series of sliding doors that, with or without your best efforts, is dependent on the kindness of strangers. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn’t.

In my case, I’m pleased to report that it did. I have been the beneficiary of many privileges in life, and I’m grateful to count this experience among them.

Thanks for reading this far. Thank you, TFNation. Safe journeys, thank you all again, and see you when I see you.  

#tfnation #mtmte #tf cosplay #transformers #transformers idw #lostlight