#struggled a bit with the knee perspective but maybe it looks alright now

[voidedjuice]

Laying in your own blood for the 9000th time, realising there was truly no hope of it ending

#oc #original character #timeloop #my art #my artwork #artists on tumblr #digital art #digital drawing #illustration #cw blood #soggy first loop ilta #didnt have enough of a shit day having her apartment burned down & being murdered a thousand times #it also had to rain that night #struggled a bit with the knee perspective but maybe it looks alright now

[sentientcave]

IT'S WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE - Have some Sparrow! I've been working on this one since December and I'm finally dipping into the last stretch of it. Been working on other things lately but still hoping to get this one finished before summer hits proper. I don't think I've shared much of this one anywhere yet.

Bob and his wife, Wendy, had pulled up chairs so they could sit and talk to the four soldiers. Or three, rather. Ghost had moved one table over to eat, his mask pulled up above his mouth so he could shovel food into his mouth, hunched over his plate like he was afraid someone was going to try and take it. He glanced up at Morgan as she walked in, scraped the final bite of food off his plate, and washed it down with the last of his tea before pulling the mask back down. It was almost fascinating to watch his throat work to swallow before disappearing behind the knit material.

“You fellas all set?” Morgan asked, bumping her hip up against the side of the booth next to Price. “I’d like to get home before this storm gets worse. Laika doesn’t like thunder, the big baby.”

"Just about, I'd say," Price said, tilting his head back to look at her. "We just had the pleasure of hearing all sorts of wild tales about you. How many of them are true?"

"None, like as not. I'm as well-behaved as they come, and it's always been that way."

Wendy stifled a laugh behind her hand. "Of course, Morgan."

Bob covered a cough with his arm that sounded suspiciously like bullshit.

Wendy had been a teacher at Morgan's high school. As far as she knew Morgan had been skipping classes to get up to trouble, but it had usually just been work. Pick ups and drop offs— rarely the same kind of dangerous situations that had caught her mother flat footed out on the tundra, but there had been a handful of fire fights here and there, and many more desperate struggles with fists or a knife. She had probably seemed like a lot of trouble from Wendy's perspective, since she'd come to school in rough shape many times, her excuses ranging from fist fights to tree climbing incidents to sports injuries. It was a surprise that she had gotten away with it without someone getting worried, but she'd always had a talent for lying her ass off.

"Alright, maybe I was a bit of a wild card when I was young. But I grew up. It all feels pretty silly looking back now." She shrugged lightly, flashing a sheepish smile at the soldiers, like she was embarrassed by her seemingly rowdy past. “I was an army brat without a whole lot of supervision. I’m just impressed I managed to graduate.”

"Too bad." Ghost muttered behind her. "You were just startin’ to sound fun."

There wasn’t much point in dignifying that with a response. Ghost seemed keen on getting under her skin, just to see what would happen. She wasn’t about to let him get a rise out of her. And if he wanted to play games, he was about to find himself outmatched.

She took her jacket off while she waited for the others to finish eating and knelt on the bench that Ghost was sitting on, bracing her arms on the back of the booth. He shifted beside her, putting his back against the window and bringing his knee up onto the seat so that his leg pressed against hers. He tapped the top of his boot against the bottom of her sensible white running shoes. She ignored him. “So, what really brings you boys to town?” she asked, even though they would have to lie, if not in front of her, certainly in front of Bob and Wendy. “Fishing trip?”

“Oh aye,” Soap said, grinning. "We love fishin'."

Gaz smirked, glancing up at her. “We’re after a big catch.”

Danny wouldn’t be a big catch. Likely it was one of his nasty friends, as Nikolai had put it, that the SAS agents were after. No one that Danny had known when he and Morgan were married. It had mostly been gangs looking for guns back then, or the occasional mob contact looking to pick up something heavier for a specific job. SAS was special forces and counter terrorism, which meant that Danny had gotten himself involved in something particularly out of his depth.

#IT'S WIP WEDNESDAY BAYBEE #Cave Writing #Sparrow #Some of the early bits like this need some structural edits #I've also got better defined voices for them all now #So definitely some work to be done #cod mw fanfiction #OC: Morgan

[johnnycakez]

[First post hello outsiders fandom (:]

Desc;

Angst

Sensitive Topics

Su!cude

Hurt/No comfort

[staring off with angst, why not? johnny x reader is implied]

—

It was a regular day in the far side of Tulsa. Gangs were fighting, police were rushing around, neighbors were yelling, dogs were barking. Just a usual day.

Although.. I guess you could say everyone has different perspectives.

It was silent last night.

You stared at your feet dangling off of your bed, slowly swinging them back and forth. Just a few hours ago you had gotten home after seeing a move with Pony, Dally, and Johnny. Johnny and Ponyboy got busy talking to two other girls Dallas had previously harassed, so you decided to leave. No one really noticed. You told them you were going to get some popcorn and you never came back.

Well, you thought no one noticed, at least. Johnny was thinking about it all night but never really said anything about it. Maybe you got bored and left, nothing personal, he got it.

But being alone wasn’t your strong suit. When you were alone, you had time to sit there and think. Nothing good comes out of thinking. Ever. That’s what lead you to this now. Rope in hand, chair pushed under your ceiling fan. You decided to wait no time, adrenaline rushing and hands trembling. Feeling like you were going to cry but you knew you wouldn’t be able to if you tried.

You stepped up onto the chair, pulling your head through the loop of the rope, and tying the other end on the ceiling fan with a strong knot. You stood there for a minute, body shaking. Memories flashed through your head.

You thought of the gang.

How would Johnny feel when he saw you? How would Sodapop, who cared for everyone, scream? How would Darry feel to lose another person close to him? How would Dally, who already had no hope feel about the world now? How would Two-Bits grin, which was always stuck on his face, drop?

Regret and guilt rushed through your body. Maybe it was best to go visit Johnny in the lot, or maybe even stop by the Curtis’ house and talk it out with someone.

You went to pull the rope around your neck off, when you felt a sudden drop, and a stinging pressure around your throat.

The chair beneath you had broken. It was a shabby wooden chair. You should’ve thought this through.

You clawed at the rope, trying desperately to scream for someone or get a breath, but the only noises made were your failed attempts of breathing.

——

[9:58 AM.]

“PONYBOY!”

Darry hollered, setting 8 plates down on the table. He made breakfast for everyone today, which was something that rarely happened, but he had the money this week, so why not?

Two-Bit rushed out of the brothers’ shared room with Pony over his shoulder, cackling as Ponyboy yelled at him to put him down.

Steve and Sodapop were having their daily arm wrestl, Dally was smoking, standing by the TV, while Johnny walked in.

“Wheres [Name]?” Dallas asked, cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

“I was hopin’ she’d be here.. haven’t seen her since the movies last night.” Johnny replied, quiet.

“Prolly sleepin’, that girl..” Two-Bit commented with a grin on his face.

“We can’t blame er’.. we know how hard it is for her to get out of bed. Give it another.. 5 minutes and one of us’ll go check on her, alright?” Soda butted in.

“Yea.. just uh, give her some time. She’ll be here sooner or later.” Johnny agreed.

[10:15 AM.] The gang finished up breakfast, and Two-Bit was already started on a beer. Ponyboy looked over at the plate that still had eggs and a small slice of chocolate cake on it. He shuddered.

Darry noticed, and watched as Sodapop said something, probably to comfort him.

“I say we all go to [Names] place. We can cheer er’ up and help her get outta bed.” Steve announced, and eventually, everyone agreed.

Johnny’s heart beat picked up. Why did he feel so .. weird?

[10:30 AM.] As the gang rushed into the apartment complex and got weird stares, Two-Bit made it to her door, second behind Johnny.

“You alright, Johnnycakes? You look pale as a ghost.” Sodapop pat his head, and Johnny nodded.

“I’m alright.” He lied. Why was he sweating so much?

Dally took note of that.

“Alright, let’s not stand here like a buncha weirdos. Someone knock.” Dallas barged in.

Two-Bit knocked the gangs special knock.

“Wakey wakey, [Name]! There’s chocolate milk back at Darrys calling your name!”

...

No response.

Johnny knocked a little louder.

“[Name], you gotta get up now..” he said a little loud.

...

“She’s a heavy sleeper.” Darry knocked with force.

.....

“We look like a bunch a’ hoods tryna kidnap a girl. [Name]! We’re comin‘ in.” Steve shouted, and let Johnny take over because he knew he had the only spare key to your apartment.

The door was gently pushed open, a faint breeze hitting the boys’ face who were in the front, followed by a strong smell..

They all eventually walked in, and Darry turned the light on.

Silence filled the air.

What the hell...

What the hell?

Ponyboys knees buckled and he threw up the eggs, chocolate milk, and chocolate cake just served. Sodapop shakily put a hand on his back, his eyes not moving from your figure.

Johnny stared.

You were pale. You had deep eye bags which were coated with dry tear stains, and red marks and bruising all around your neck. He looked down at the broken chair beneath you.

He thought of how much you must've struggled. He understood the situation immediately like he was there. He choked on his own breath, and felt hot tears streaming down his face. Johnny never cried.

“[Name]...” he sobbed out.

Two-Bit was standing in fear, his happy go lucky grin long gone, now replaced with a frown and tears.

Dallas‘ face was completely blank. Any smirk that may have been there that morning was wiped away.

Steve backed up so much that his back met the wall, and he stood there.

Darry ran a hand through his hair, quickly turning around to hide his miserable attempt to not cry.

Johnny was hyperventilating, hands cupping your face. He was mumbling something over and over. No one understood him. No one understood anything now.

If you payed close attention to Johnny, though, you could hear a faint.

‘i love you, i’m sorry.’

#the outsiders #johnny cade #darry curtis #dally winston #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #two bit mathews #the outsiders x reader #johnny cade x reader

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

REQUEST (Nerd!Felix/Yongbok x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, humiliation, degradation, brat taming, watersports, breath play, rough filthy shit. Read at own risk.

"If that isn't our little Yongbokkieeee~" Felix sighed and shut his eyes tightly when he heard the familiar dreadful voice from behind, holding the straps of his school bag even tighter. "Aigoooi~ aren't you in a hurry, foreign booooy?" Her perfectly manicured hand placed on the boy's shoulder, pulling him back.

"Let go, Y/n-ah…" The boy spoke, trying his best not to snap at the little slut. She was so foolish. A fucking clown. A narrow minded little racist bitch. That's what.

"Ahhhh… your Korean is soooo adorable…" Before she moved to stand in front of him, heavy tits tightly packed in her school shirt, the first few buttons up. "What's the rush, Aussie boy? Too proud to make friends? Tsk, tsk!" Felix felt like smacking her infuriatingly cute little face.

"You know it's not like tha-"

"LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!" Y/n clapped and got everyone's attention, the whole hallway of students going home stopping to look at her. "OUR FOREIGN BOY DOESN'T WANNA BE FRIENDS~" she pouted as if it really hurt her. "HE AVOIDED ME ALL DAY IN SCHOOL TOO! HOW PROUD, TSK!" Everyone booed him, calling him names and whatnot. It was terrible.

Had he known moving to Korea was going to be like this he'd have never agreed. They made fun of his looks, his accent, the grammatical errors he made and his English name that he preferred. Even though Felix was using his English name in his documents now that he was all grown up, Y/n had somehow learnt his Korean one and she wasn't going to let him live it down.

"Aigo what a loser" splashing the juice in her hand at his shirt, the girl clicked her tongue and walked away while laughing, leaving the boy in absolute despair due to how badly it stained his shirt.

He didn't want to hurt her because she was clearly fucking naive and dumb but fuck. Y/n was making it fucking hard.

.

Felix checked his room one last time to make sure it was clean and smelt nice with just the right amount of ventilation. Setting his books up on the foldable desks he'd set up on the bed, the boy opened up the other desk too. His mom had asked him if he could teach her bestfriend's child some English as they were apparently in the same year as him. The boy was happy to help and agreed so now his mom's friend was going to drop the kid off at their house that he didn't know anything about.

And who else could it be other than the one and only. How fucking cliche.

The male was unsure of how to act when he heard his mom's voice and another women's before his door was knocked, opening as Mrs. Lee along a stern looking tall and built women in a police uniform appeared.

Felix got up and respectfully bowed to the women as she greeted him back, her friendly smile really unusual for her stern features. "Hello, dear. Thank you so much for your kind gesture. I've been looking for a good teacher for quite some time now but my child is… slow." She chuckled. "Maybe it'd be easier for her if someone her age teaches her…"

"Oh, of course. No problem at all. I'd be actually very happy to help. That way I get to revise too and study from a different perspective, ma'am." He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop the smirk from appearing on his face. Oh. She was trying her best to hide behind her mother but Felix had seen the pathetic little girl.

Oh how fucking perfect.

"Ah I hope my kid can learn well from you in not just academics but manners too… Now! Y/n-ah- where…" Her mother looked for her before turning around to find her hiding, gripping her wrist and pulling her in front of the taller boy. "There you are. Now… learn well okay? Felix will take well care of you" her mother glanced at the boy and he nodded, bowing a little bit as he said of course.

Y/n was trying not to die as she was made to stand right in front of fucking Yongbok out of all! How was she so stupid?! She should have put two and two together! Oh fuck! This was bad! This was terrible for her image! Now he knew that she was looking for tuition and not all that careless about studies as she seemed to act like back in school. And she also wasn't a badass in her private life.

Fuck.

"Be good. I'll pick you up on my way back, alright?" The girl had non-existent balls to brat with her mother as she was a firm police woman and knew how to get brats going. She had gotten enough harsh punishments from her mom to even dare to try. Y/n did her best to pretend to be a good kid. Or her mom had threatened to send her off to juvi or a boarding school! "Hm?"

The girl whimpered, feeling the boy's gaze burn into her very soul. "Y- Yes, mommy." She could only whisper back, head lowered all the way.

"Good baby. Now give mommy a kiss." Y/n could die of embarrassment right now, her cheeks burning as she felt humiliated. Oh she had no idea what was coming her way. This was nothing. Her mother still treated her like a 4 year old baby and not like she was 18. It was so fucking stupid!

"Y- Yes, mommy…" There was no use hiding. Yongbok could see it all and he was quietly observing it. Standing on her tippy toes because of being much smaller than her mom, Y/n kissed her cheek. "Bye, mommy." The copper ruffled her daughter's head before leaving with Felix's mother who was also dressed for work.

Lowering her head even more when it was just the both of them, Y/n held her bag right as she didn't turn around, not wanting to face the smug boy, whimpering when he stepped forward to close his door.

"She… doesn't know, does she?" Felix's deep voice pierced through her soul as he turned around to look down at her now, grinning wide. "Tsk… look at this cute little turtleneck and long skirt… those baby shoes and these pigtails…" Y/n felt her heart starting to pound when he suddenly tugged at her twin ponytails, her cheeks feeling even hotter in pure humiliation. "If only you were actually a good babygirl like your 'mommy' thinks and not a skimpy little slutty whore ridiculing people for no fucking reason at school" clicking his tongue, the boy walked to his bed and plopped on it in a relaxed manner, well aware that he had her exactly where a bitch like her should be. "I wonder how she will react if she finds out that you are actually-"

"N- NO PLEASE!" Y/n finally found her voice and rushed to him, helplessly pleading. "PLEASE DON'T TELL M- MOMMY! I- I AM SORRY!" She struggled, not knowing what to say. This was so awkward and strange. Something she'd never thought of. Fuck.

"Ahhh so you really are an all talk whore, tsk. Acting all cool and fearless in school but actually a pathetic little mommy's baby." Felix chuckled tauntingly and shook his head, eyes cold. Months. She'd been troubling him for months simply because he was a foreigner and made mistakes in Korean. "Come here, let me see. I wouldn't be surprised if you're also wearing a nappy under that cute skirt. Do you need a change?" He teasingly went to grab her arm which caused the girl to stagger backwards.

"N- No! No, Y- Yon- Felix! I- I swear I am not! I am not wearing a-- p- please! Don't do this! I- I won't bother you again! You don't even have to tutor me! Just please don't tell mom!" Y/n hated how pathetically she had to beg him.

"Ah… so it's suddenly Felix now, huh?" The male chuckled before speaking again. "Since I am not a pathetic slut like you, I won't tell your mom but in exchange, you'll have to be good for me. If you oblige, good. If you don't, I'll have to tell her, little one. Because what you're doing will end up harming someone really bad."

The girl desperately dropped her bag, sitting in his feet and holding his knees. "Y- Yes! Yes! Alright! I'll be good! I'll do whatever you want! Just don't tell mom! I don't wanna go to juvi or boarding-" her eyes widened before she slapped her mouth shut. Oh no! She didn't just tell him that!

Felix threw his head back and laughed. "Ahhh so it's like that, I see…" He was enjoying this. Looking down at her, Felix felt something stir inside him as his eyes got darker. She looked so fucking perfect kneeling under him like this. It was getting so hard to hold back now that he had her. "Fine. If you don't want to go to boarding or juvi, you'll have to be my little fuck piggy. And when I say that, I mean it. You'll be my literal plaything and there will be no denying my orders. You'll have to obey and be good like a brainless little slave doll… You will only know what I allow. You will only do as I say. No using your own brain, not that it is very smart anyway… That is the price." He had always had… dark desires. Which was one of the reasons he'd never dated much. But when Felix had seen Y/n all those months ago in school for the first time, he had unintentionally imagined how it would feel to ruin her to the point of despair before building her back up.

And now that he was so close to having it. Fuck. The boy was going insane.

Y/n nodded slowly, tears forming in her eyes as she bit her lip. "Y- Yes, I… I agree. I- I'll be your d- doll, Felix… J- Just please d- don't tell anyone… I- I beg you… I- I don't wanna g- go to boarding or…" A sob left her, his finger catching her tear amidst of falling down.

This was so wrong. But she deserved it. Felix was absolutely disgusted by bullies.

"Don't worry. Like your mother said, I'll take goood care of you." The naive girl had no idea what she had signed herself up for or just what his words meant. "Then… why don't you prove your worth by getting up and stripping to let me see my belongings... And, get those dirty little hands off. Fuck toys don't deserve to touch Master unless allowed." Felix swatted them off.

"W- What? M- Master…? S- Strip?" Y/n was lost.

"What else did you think? Some Wattpad romance where I make you my little sidekick or something before I confess that I've liked you all along?" Raising an eyebrow he pushed her back. "Get to it."

"B- But F- Felix-!"

"It's Master!" The male firmly spoke as he glared down at her, yanking one of her pigtails. "Come on now… time's running and we don't have all day my little toy. You better start behaving before it's too late…" Her sobs and tears satisfied him so much.

Y/n slowly got up with her head lowered, trembling as she stepped out of her shoes, slowly pulling her socks off. "I- I can't believe I am doing this in front o- of you.." She whispered while struggling to not collapse on her knees, literally shivering under his firm gaze.

"I also couldn't believe a person as rotten as you existed." Before he grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling her closer and snorting when she gasped, flinching when he leaned back again. Felix's foot trailed up her shaking leg, the top of his foot rubbing against her covered core before he grabbed the waistband of her panties with his toes, pulling them down from under the skirt. "Ahh… so little girl's mommy really doesn't put her in nappies, I see…" Before he looked back up at her face, his foot resting on the underwear between her ankles now. "Skirt off now."

The girl was wiping at her tears as she shakily undid the skirt before letting it fall, her heart pounding even harder when the cold air attacked her core before he made her pull her shirt up and off, suddenly ripping her bra off which caused her to scream.

"Tsk… you sure are jumpy and scaredy for how tough you act." The boy shook his head, feeding off her misery. "Pick that underwear up." Y/n reached for it when he finally removed his foot from the top of it, stepping out of it and picking it up, even her ears red now out of humiliation. "Put it on your head." Another sob left her as he pinched and played with her breast, loving the authority he had over her.

"Fe- M- Master…" Shaking her head, she tried to back away but Felix wasn't having it.

"What did I just fucking say?!" He snapped, towering over her when the boy stood up, making her cower down before she put the smelly article over her head, biting her lips to stop her sobs from escaping. "Such a good toy…" Felix cooed this time, rubbing her head as he pulled it down and covered her eyes with the waistband, pulling her pigtails out of the sides.

"Fuck… you look good. Just how a dumb brainless slut should look." Fishing his phone out, he smirked. "This proves how you've no problem with being brainless. You look fucking retarded but you're doing it because Master said it. That's exactly what this is about. Obedience" before he suddenly kissed her briefly, making her gasp.

"Now~ smile wide for a picture…" Before he turned the camera on and stepped back, making sure her whole body was in frame. Fuck. Felix was so fucking painfully hard. "Come on… don't be shy" he taunted when she sobbed in protest, making him switch to video instead. "Fine, then." His taunting smile dropped to a firm expression as he approached her, placing his feet on hers before he smacked her face, catching it all on camera.

"Aigooo~" he mimicked her, smacking her other cheek, uncovering her eyes but still keeping the underwear on her head. He decided that it will be a new style for her. "Look at this whore~" Y/n's flushed cheeks now received some more slaps before he placed his hand on her nose and pushed it back, chuckling loudly. "Awww such a cute little fuck piggy we have here… she loves this doesn't she?" When she continued to cry, Felix smacked her head and pulled at the girl's ponytail. "DOESN'T SHE?"

"Y- Yes, Master! Yes!"

"Good girl" pushing her nose back to look like a pig's again, the male spat at it. "Now tell Master you're thankful. Get on your knees and be good."

"T- Thank you, M- Master…" The girl cried out, slowly getting on her knees now. "Thank you s- so much…" Felix parted her legs by his foot, cutting the footage and tossing his phone on the bed before kicking her pussy, causing Y/n to jerk forward, face banging straight into his cock.

A moan left him before he grabbed both her ponytails, wrapping them around his hands. "Now I have a present for you. I bought it all a while back and have been keeping it hidden and safe for when I get a fuck piggy. And now that you're here, I'll give you it."

Yes, Felix was pissed at her and yes, he loved destroying her but he was no asshole. She still had that cute little whore face he adored.

Crouching down in front of her, he gripped her chin and kissed her lips again, ignoring her gasp and kissing her again before spitting right on her tongue. "Swallow it and wait for Master to be back. Face down and ass up. I shouldn't have to fuckin repeat myself."

Y/n trembled as she struggled to swallow his spit, bowing down on the ground, slowly raising her nude ass back up. A few moments passed with Felix bringing stuff over and near her, fumbling with things in his closet before he finally closed it and walked to her. "Aren't you lucky? Finding an owner without even looking. There's so many pets like you who have no Master… or not a good one at least, you know…" Standing behind her, Felix rubbed the lube all over the tiny and thick piggy tail assplug. "Aren't you lucky?"

The girl knew what he wanted to hear so she nervously started, having no idea what the boy was about to do. "Y- Yes, Master… v- very luc- AHHHH!" She could only lay there and weakly cry as Felix laughed loudly at her scream because he'd pushed the plug in, tapping her ass.

"Good piggy~" the male cooed and hooked a thin chain to a small loop on top of the plug, slowly making her sit up in silence, the only sounds being her weak sobs. "Just… give in… it'll hurt less that way and you'll be happier." His eyes were trained on what he was doing, the long chain extending from down her plug having nose hooks at the other end that he plugged in her nose, chuckling when her eyes widened as she located the small cage in front of her.

"Oh, yeah. That is your new crib" Felix was clearly loving this. Kissing her stretched little piggy nose, he placed the pink piggy ears on her underwear covered head, followed by a pink collar that had a small bell attached to it. "You look so beautiful…" Kissing her lips again, Felix attached weights to her nipples, making her whine out in pain as she tried to stop his hands. "Oho~" he swatted her hands away, grabbing the piggy hands and feet before putting them on her, finally folding her limbs and binding them.

"Hmmm… that's like a good filthy little fuck pig." Before he attached a leash to her collar and gulped, feeling his balls ache now due to the masterpiece he'd made, pulling at the leash to have her crawl in the cage before he closed it, chuckling at how she kept tripping. "Clumsy pig." Before he started to take pictures, taunting and humiliating her all the while.

.

When Felix was satisfied with the photoshoot, he opened the cage and walked to the bed, holding her leash and pulling her with him. "Now… the fun part." Before he tucked his aching cock out much to her horror, sitting down on the bed and pulling her in between her legs. Pumping his cock a little, the male moaned loudly as he started to piss on her face, chuckling loudly when she yelled and protested, trying to move away but only falling on her face, choking when he harshly pulled at her leash, forcefully pushing his cock in her mouth. "You better swallow that!"

Y/n started crying loudly again, wails leaving her throat as his hot piss started travelling down her throat, making her choke and gag as he loudly laughed. "What a useless piggy! Can't even be a good urinal." Before he smacked her face again, now starting to fuck her mouth fast and rough, hitting his hard tip against the back of her throat before forcefully pushing in, a trail of piss and spit hanging down her lips.

"Fuck… fuck…" Felix moaned loudly, his cock twitching inside of her and pulsating from how fucking good it felt. From her soft mouth to her tight throat, to how he could see his cock against her skin, her eyes widened when her breath supply would totally cut off from his balls getting stuffed between her lips.

"Fuck… you're no good… I'll have to train you plenty" her cries were causing shivers and vibrations up his cock as he fucked her face up and down his cock by her ponytails, kicking her pussy as he went faster and faster, his hips starting to ache from how much strength it was causing.

"What a dumb slut!" Pulling his cock out of her throat, he kicked her on her back, making her arch her back when the tail plug brushed against the floor. "I need that useless fucking pussy now. It better be worth it." Y/n felt scared and nervous for her vagina now as he warned and crawled over her now, pushing his way forcefully inside, biting down at her lip when he felt her hymen tear and lube his cock up.

"I am going to make an absolute mess out of you." He promised, his deep voice sending shivers down her sweaty body. "My mess."

.

I am sorry if it was too rough sjskso you said like bullying gone wrong-

#non con #dark fic #dark kpop #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #lee felix #skz felix #felix smut #yongbok smut #felix x you #felix x reader #yongbok x you #yongbok x reader #kpop smut #felix x y/n

[thalassic-p4rk]

I Have Time || 10th Doctor x reader (oneshot)

A/N: howdy! this is my first fic ever, so its gonna suck ass but that’s probably okay. Originally this was going to be about Rises the Moon by Lianna Flores, but i figured this was more fitting :) pls leave comments if you want more stuff from me, or just things i can improve in general. maybe if ppl like this, i’ll write another one. but for now, allons-y!!

Summary: Ten handles the death of the Master about as well as you’d think, and falls into a depression. One night, the reader comforts him after a nightmare about the past that recent events have brought up.

Warnings: depression, anxiety attack, nightmares, insomnia, accidental s/h

W/C: 1,147

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Master was dead.

You were sad, yes. But you had only known him as a maniacal tyrant, as the man who killed your people by the millions. And although you had barely survived, trying to get by post-apocalypse, you were the only one to remember. All the dead had been brought back, the planet reborn and memories wiped from everyone’s minds except you and a select few. From your perspective, you considered everything to be even now. You could shatter into a million tiny pieces with ease, but nonetheless you were always quick to pull yourself back together and move on, so that’s exactly what you did.

So it was ironic, but not surprising, that the ever-stable Doctor was having trouble with that.

It broke your heart seeing him like this. Your Doctor, always such a strong, unmovable support, who always had a smile on his face despite the unending grief that seemed to have taken up a permanent residence in his warm gaze, was completely and utterly broken. Sometimes, when he was asleep, you would step out of the Tardis, wherever you were parked, and scream. You screamed, yelling profanities at the sky. You cursed the universe, unable to comprehend why it was putting him through this. Your Doctor, your beautiful, wonderful, kind, lovely Doctor, did not deserve this. He did not deserve any of this. You were angry at everyone and everything, because he didn’t have the strength to be.

It was one such night. He hadn’t left his room in the Tardis all day, and you were angry again. You couldn’t let him see you break down. Not when everyone always depended on him constantly. Not after he had already helped you through so many panic attacks and depressive episodes. He always took care of you and everyone else in this blasted universe, whether they deserved it or not. Now it was your turn to take care of him. If he saw you like this, he would only feel more guilty. You just... felt so helpless. You would give anything to help him. Anything to make him feel better. If you could take the weight off his shoulders and carry it yourself, you would do it in a heartbeat. You let out another sob. You hated feeling useless, hated that he had to go through this, hated that there wasn’t anything else you could do to help him. You take a deep breath, and let it out as a shaky sigh. It was probably around two in the morning, and you should go back inside. Your silk pj’s did nothing to ward off the chill.

As soon as you close the door behind you, you notice something is wrong. You scan the room, immediately alert, but you can’t pinpoint anything in particular. It just feels off somehow. You hum in interest, before deciding that you’re too tired to care. You take slow steps down the corridor to your room, paying rapt attention to any subtle movements or noises. 

Nothing.

You huff and open your door, taking a step through the threshold. You freeze.

Was that a whimper?

You halt all movements and hold your breath. A low whine reaches your ears, coming from across the hall.

Coming from the Doctor’s room.

You turn on your heel and take off sprinting for the door at the end of the hall. You don’t bother knocking, your panic and sleep-addled brain running on pure adrenaline. You open the door and let your eyes adjust to the dark. 

A part of you dies at the sight in front of you. 

His eyes are squeezed shut, nose scrunched up in a way you would usually find adorable, but now it just made him look more pitiful. He’s whimpering and writhing on the bed, tangling himself in the sheets and trapping himself further. You jump into action, running over and sitting on the foot of his bed, before noticing the fresh scratch marks running down his arms. Did he do that to himself? 

Studying him carefully, you notice tear tracks running down his face and his teeth biting down hard on his bottom lip. He goes to tear at his arms again, and you brace yourself, knowing this was going to be a struggle. You grab his wrists in both hands and pull them above his head. He continues his thrashing, and while you hate to make him panic further, you know it’s necessary what you were about to do. You push yourself up on your knees, still pinning his hands above his head, and swing your leg across his waist, straddling his torso. You carefully avoid sitting on top of him fully and cutting off his air flow, instead merely hovering above him, as you scan him for any other injuries. Besides a bloody lip, he seems to be otherwise alright physically. 

He’s still thrashing against you, but now you have the advantage and move both his wrists into one of your hands. You use your newly freed hand to gently touch his cheek, wondering for the second time that night why he had to go through this. You make shushing noises, trying to calm him. When that doesn’t work, you maneuver next to him, and wrap your arms around him as gently as possible, trying to convey a sense of safety. He slows his thrashing somewhat, seeming resigned.

An idea pops into your mind, and you think of a song from Earth that you sang to yourself when you were frightened as a child. You let go of his arms as he calms down a bit and bring your hand up to his hair, running your fingers through it soothingly. You take a breath, lean into his ear, and start quietly singing.

The lake sort of knows me.

You can feel the instant he wakes and becomes aware of his surroundings. His entire body goes lax in your grip as his honey-colored eyes flutter open.

Was it you who promised time?

He looks at you, warm eyes so full of grief and he lets out a shuddering breath as the fear leaves him.

Lead me to a land so green,

His mouth opens to say something, but nothing comes out and you just hold him tighter.

So she’ll stay awhile.

You kiss his forehead, drawing constellations on his cheeks, his nose, his lips, with your fingers.

Please take me there, I am ready.

He curls up into your chest as you continue to pet his soft, mussed up hair. 

The ship sways, 

You rock him gently back and forth, back and forth, to where the melodies of the song would end and begin if you were playing guitar.

but the heart is steady.

His breathing evens out as he slips back into sleep, this time more peaceful, listening to your single heart beating.

I have time.

-fin-

#10th doctor #tenth doctor #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x you #gender-neutral reader #gender neutral!reader #ten #angst #hurt/comfort #fanfic #*sobs uncontrollably* #my poor baby #he did not deserve that #he deserves the world #he deserved better #he is so precious #please help

[yandere-daydreams]

Pleaseee do anything to do with Izuku and his huge amounts of strength. Like we know hes powerful asf I just want to hear about how this man will get a bit impatient and he uses 1% of his power and you get blown across the room- you finally realize that Izuku is holding back, and he could snap your neck if he really wanted to.

He’s too strong for his own good, isn’t he? And it’d only get worse when he’s a Pro, with the skill set proper hero and none of the self-restraint, especially when it comes to keeping his Darling in line. His methods aren’t exactly encouraging, but if he’s lucky, you’ll be too busy nursing a dozen broken bones to act out.

Title: Strength.

TW: Graphic Violence, Mentions of Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Touching, and Delusional Mindsets.

~

In his defense, Izuku had never claimed to be a gentle lover.

He wasn’t violent, either, not when you first got together, not when he was still a stuttering, blushing mess who could barely hold your hand without having to hide his face in your shoulder or make up an excuse to let go a little too early. For weeks, every touch was tentative, every kiss preluded by a flurry of nervous questions. By the time he finally calmed down and swallowed his nerves, you’d begun to wonder how he managed to fight villains without asking if they were ‘alright’ every fight minutes. He’d been afraid of hurting you, back then… or, you guess he’d never really been afraid. He’d been aware that he could, and that’d made him anxious, it’d made him hesitant. But, hesitance was a thing that wore off, with experience, and Izuku was good at adjusting. He was adaptive, and you were too relieved your boyfriend could finally put his arm around your waist to notice just how tight his grip could be, from time to time.

That was your mistake, you guess. You should’ve been more attentive.

You should’ve started paying attention when he started leaving bruises.

But, it was too late to regret that now. Izuku wasn’t your boyfriend, anymore, he was your captor, and you weren’t his playful, fragile partner, you were his stubborn, breakable captive, with too much will of your own and not nearly enough love for him. He hadn’t really accepted it, not yet, but that didn’t matter. It hadn’t since the moment he came home, exhausted and irritated and touchy, and since you’d been as reluctant to let him near you as you always were. Every window was locked, the front door serving as the host to half a dozen different deadbolts, but running was second-nature, by now, as was doing anything and everything you could to keep his fingertips from digging into your sides, to keep that monster away from you, even you knew it’d be useless, in the end. 

But, there were things you could to do draw out the process, and that was why you were currently in a half-empty cabinet, your knees pulled into your chest and your back pressed against something hard and uneven and jagged. Hiding wasn’t preferable, but you only had so many options, and it was so, so much better than the alternative.

Izuku was never happy with your small shows of rebellion, but today, he seemed more disgruntled than he usually was. Even from across the apartment, you could hear him, his incoherent mumbling filling what little empty space there might’ve been, making it hard to think, making it hard to breathe, making it impossible not to wince when a door slammed or one of his steps was heavier than it should’ve been. You could hear him looking for you, but his search was half-hearted, at best, and he seemed to be caught between the urge to find you quickly, and the temptation to huff and mutter and stomp until you came out on your own, your head bowed and an apology already playing on your tongue. You didn’t know if he liked to feel strong, but you knew he loved it when you felt weak. Weak enough to let him act like your faultless, innocent, valiant hero, anyway.

“Baby,” He called out, finally choosing to be a little more proactive with his attempts to threaten you into submission. “C’mon, (Y/n), you know I didn’t mean to scare you. I was frustrated, I didn’t want to grab you, but you were trying to get away from me, and it’s been such a long day, and…” He trailed off, a heavy sigh following a moment of silence. “You know I’d never hurt you, right? Not unless you forced my hand. I spend all day fighting people who want me dead, I wouldn’t have a reason to make you hate me, too.”

He wouldn’t have a reason to. He doesn’t want to. Not he won’t, not he couldn’t, just that if he did, you’d be the one to blame. He could go one for hours, like that, trying to convince you that this was for your own good, that if there was a better solution, he’d stop at nothing to find it, but you were still the one being kept prisoner in your own home while he was free to do as he pleased, in the outside world. And, if you tried to reason with him, if you tried to explain that you could keep yourself safe from more than just domestic trivialities and boredom, it’d be his hand around your throat, and your lungs would be the ones left to scream. You couldn’t say he wanted to, but he certainly didn’t need to. He’d just rather listen to you gasping for air than speaking your mind, apparently.

“I know you can hear me, angel.” His voice was colder, now, more collected but no less hostile than it had been. You could hear his footsteps getting closer, growing louder as he moved onto the tiled floor of the kitchen. Reflexively, you curled into yourself, doing your best to limit what little sound your breathing created, but if he knew where you were hiding, he didn’t feel the need to put you out of your misery quickly, only going on in that smooth, empathetic tone he was so fond of. “There’s really no reason to be this stubborn. I love you, and you love me, and if you’d just see things from my perspective, you’d know why having someone warm and welcoming to come home to is so important to me.”

There was a slight pause. You stopped breathing completely as he took a step towards your chosen sanctuary.

“Or, maybe you wouldn’t,” He admitted. “You haven’t tried very hard to understand me, not since we moved in together.” Since he kidnapped you. Since you woke up, handcuffed to someone else’s bed while Izuku tried to explain why this was necessary. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you don’t love me at all, anymore.”

Another step. Something came to rest on the counter above you with a quiet thud.

“Honestly, I’m starting to think you’re too much of a brat to know what’s good for you.”

With that, he brought his fist down on the countertop, and you hardly had time to think before you were flinching back, elbow colliding with the cabinet wall and making the smallest, hollowest noise. So minor and so quiet that, for a moment, you thought Izuku might've missed it.

But, he hadn’t.

Izuku was always so observant, when it came to you.

In the space between one second and another, the cabinet door was thrown open, something hot and crushing latching on to your ankle, dragging you out of your hiding place and out onto the freezing, unforgiving floor, putting out on display for your oh-so-dedicated assailant. Izuku’s expression was neutral, devoid of everything but a narrowed gaze and thin, pursed lips, but his vice-grip was more than enough to express his anger, so tight, so oppressive, it felt like your bones might cave in underneath it, collapse into little more than dust and fragments and helplessness. It was awful. It was painful. Already, tears were building up in the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision, making the man above you into little more than a muddled image of tan skin dark eyes and ugly, ugly delusions.

And then, he squeezed.

His free hand came up, his palm pressing against your mouth and stifling your scream, but that did little to soften to blow, to stop something in your ankle from cracking as pressure turned into force, and force turned into fire, racing from your heel to your knee as you tried to kick, tried to writhe, tried to do anything that might lessen the pain. It was pointless. Izuku’s grip was stead-fast, keeping you grounded and forcing you to reach out, instead, your fingers soon tangled in his hair as you pulled at his scalp and pushed at his chest, an effort that only made you feel childish, that only made you feel weak. Yelling wasn’t an option, not when it was all you could do to bite your sobs into whimpers and bury your face in his shirt as you began to cry in earnest, pain and fear turning into something dark and desperate, even if his touch had never done anything to comfort you.

Still, Izuku tried. He didn’t pull you up, didn’t move to help you, but he wrapped an arm around your midriff as you lost the will to struggle and rubbed soft, delicate circles into your side, a gesture you didn’t doubt there’d be bruises for, tomorrow. “I’m sorry, I got carried away,” He started, the words whispered against the crook of your neck. “It’s just…”

There was a light, almost inaudible chuckle. 

You wondered if you’d be able to claw his eyes out before he broke your hands.

“Accidents happen, right?”

#yandere #yandere love #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere imagines #yandere scenario #yandere prompts #boku no hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #boku no hero acadamia imagines #bnha imagines #yandere bnha #bnha #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #yandere my hero academia #yandere mha #mha imagines #izuku x reader #yandere izuku #yandere deku #deku x reader #yandere midoriya #midoriya x reader #yandere fantasy #yanderecore #yancore

[adventuresinwonderlust]

Title: Caution to the Wind: PART 3

For Part 1 Click Here and For Part 2 Click Here

Pairing: yoongi x reader ft. Namjoon (brief)

Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, a lot of first times, Solo (m), Oral (m) (f) receiving, hand job, triggering themes (anxiety attack), 

Rating: 18 and over

Permanent Tag: @mochilicious-yoongi @heyimtavia​ @loveyoongles​ 

AUTHORS NOTE: THIS PART IS SOLELY FROM YOONGI’S PERSPECTIVE. HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

Yoongi:

Yoongi sat there, outside of the music room, his leg shaking frantically, waiting to be called so he could submit his entry exam. He had been working on this beat for months and it was finally perfect. It was a requirement for this music program to pass an entry exam in order to use their studios during the semester. To say Yoongi was nervous was an understatement. He cleared his throat for what felt like the hundredth time. He scratched at his neck, yanked on his ear, and picked at his calloused hand. “Come on.” He groaned under his breath. He had already been waiting an hour, an hour he could've spent with Y/N. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and thinking back to last night. How sexy she sounded when she moaned his name, her glistening core, and her gorgeous body under the flowing shower. “Calm down Yoongi.” He whispers to himself when he feels his cock twitch.  

He looks at the music room door, wondering what was taking so long with the student before him. He picked at his hand again, grumbling to himself, flashes of Y/N's pert nipples dancing in his head. He groaned, angry with himself that he was unable to shake her from his mind. He closed his eyes again, thinking back to the shower, her body on full display. She didn’t bother to hide herself the way he did, ashamed that he was once again hard after having just cum. Would she blame me though? Watching her wash her body was probably the second hottest thing he’s ever seen. He was sure to stand sideways, hiding himself as much as possible. “Aren’t you gonna wash up?” She giggled. “Yeah, you just take up so much space.” He teased, hoping she didn’t notice how much she affected him.

“Alright then, I’ll give you your space.” She smirks, rinsing off and ducking out of the shower. Yoongi was sure to peek from behind the curtain to be sure she was fully gone from the restroom before he began to stroke his aching cock. “Fuck.” He whispered, moving his hand quickly over his thick shaft. He couldn’t believe what just happened in that bedroom, couldn’t believe he had just showered with Y/N. Watching her play with herself was probably the highlight of his life. He was sure she would tell him no to his proposition. She was gorgeous, such a catch and he was... well.... him. They had been best friends for years, since they were kids, but that friendship had blossomed into so much more for him. She was his rock, his everything. The literal highlight of his day. How would she react if she found out that he had a growing crush on her? Maybe she felt the same way or maybe he was just fooling himself, either way he was honored she let him see her so intimately.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so gorgeous. I want you so bad. Sss- So fucking hot.” Yoongi whispers under his breath, tugging at his balls. He bites his lip, feeling his body tense, that delicious tug in his scrotum. He moans as silently as he can, his hand working his tip furiously. His mouth falls open when that familiar feeling raptures his body, his balls jumping up right before he turns his cock up to unload his seed onto his stomach. He’s a panting mess, still slowly working his length, moving forward into the water to rinse off.

“Min? Is your name Min?” Another student calls from across Yoongi, snapping him out of his fantasy. Yoongi’s eyes widen, and he looks over to the student confused. “Are you Min Yoongi?” The kid asks again. Yoongi nods. “Okay then, you're up. The professor stuck his head out to call you.” Yoongi nods again, his cheeks reddening, the feel of his erection against his thigh keeping him from moving from his seat. Suddenly the professor sticks his head out from the music room, “I don't have all day! Is Min here or do I need to move on?” Yoongi throws his hand in the air, grabbing his backpack from the floor and using it to cover his lap as he walks into the music room.  

“Major?” The professor asks blandly. “Music Production.” Yoongi grumbles, feeling his face heat. The professor nods, taking a seat and nodding towards the open laptop. Yoongi looks over blankly. “Should I play my track?” He asks. “Well, I surely don’t want you to rap Mr. Min.” Yoongi clears his throat, moving towards the laptop and sticking his thumb drive in. He scrolls through the files, locating his track and playing it for the professor. He begins to nod his head to the beat, calming a bit when he sees the professor do the same. “Should I explain my method?” Yoongi asks. “Assuming I don’t understand music theory?” The professor counters. “No, I didn’t mean....” “You can turn it off.” He snaps, sitting up and scribbling on his notepad. Yoongi swallows hard, turning the track off. He feels his heart racing, waiting for the professor to give him his grade. “I like your work Min. Your mouth not so much. B+. You can expect an email with details on where to pick up a studio scan card on the day of move in. Have a good one.”  

“With all due respect sir. I feel like the track is worth more than a B+.” Yoongi scoffs, nervously. The professor nods, leaning back in his seat, “Play it again.” Yoongi moves to play the track again. The professor nods to the beat, leaning forward to scribble down more notes. “Turn it off.” He demands. Yoongi stops the track, staring at the professor. “B-.” The Professor declares. “What! Are you insane? Do you know how long I worked on this? I could sell this right now and make millions.” Yoongi word vomits. The professor smirks. “Like I said Mr. Min. I like your work but your mouth not so much. I like the beat, but it isn't perfect. If it were, you wouldn’t be here trying to get your degree would you. You’d be out there making said millions. Now can I assume that you still want that B+ or are we settling for a B-.”  

“What an asshole!!” Y/N shouts when you meet up with her and describe what transpired. “It’s fine. I took the B+. At least I passed the entry exam.” “That’s fucked up Yoon. You should report him.” Yoongi sighs deeply, holding open the door to the burger joint you both decided to eat at. “It’s fine really. I met a cool kid after. We exchanged numbers.” “Oh?” She stops suddenly. “Yeah.” “A girl or....” Her voice trails off and Yoongi’s eyes pop open at the realization of her assumption. “No! A guy,” Yoongi laughs nervously, “Namjoon. He’s taking Music as well. Passed the entry exam also, so we talked about possibly working together in the studio. I got good vibes from him.” “Well look at you making college friends already.” She teased, walking to the line to order. Yoongi shook his head, digging his hands into his pocket for his card to pay for the meal.

“You think I should go home tonight? Talk to my parents.” He asks, the pangs of guilt gripping him. “Finally ready to say sorry. Do you want me to come with?” “I didn’t say all that. I was just thinking maybe I’d try again to get them to see things differently.” “I feel like that’s a great idea Yoongi. If it feels right, then you should go for it.” Yoongi smiles watching Y/N order for the both of them. She was so supportive and knowing he could count on her made him feel confident. So confident, he moved towards her, waiting for just the right moment to plant a soft kiss on her lips. She giggles when he pulls away. “What’s that for?” She asks. “Being amazing.” He shrugs, moving forward to give his card to the cashier. “Sorry sir your card has been declined.” “Excuse me? That’s a mistake, can you please try again.” Yoongi swallows hard, shoving the card back at her. She swipes again and the machine beeps. She looks up at him and shakes her head. “It’s ok. I got it. Maybe the machine is messed up.” Y/N offers, pulling out cash.  

You both take a seat and wait for your number to be called. “Hey, you ok?” Y/N asks but you are too busy reading and re-reading the text from your mother. ‘Yoongi, until further notice, you have been CUT OFF.’ “Yoongi! Hey!” Yoongi finally looks up at Y/N, swallowing hard and turning his phone to her. “They cut me off. Its why my card didn’t work.” He mumbles, staring down at his feet. “Holy shit! What the hell?!? How could they!!” “I knew they were pissed but.... it's fine. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. I’ll just get a job and work nights to pay for myself this semester and then apply for a scholarship next year. I can do this! I’m fine. It’s fine.” Yoongi assures her, even though it's really himself he’s trying to assure. His heart begins beating rapidly, the throws of anxiety slamming his entire body. “Can we walk?” He blurts out suddenly, a cold sweat hitting him. “Yeah of course.” Y/N jumps up just as they call your number. Yoongi runs out the restaurant, Y/N running to catch up with the bag of food in her hand.  

“Talk to me Yoons, you look sick.” “I can't breathe.” Yoongi confesses, his lungs feeling heavy with every breath he takes. “I just need to sit.” He says suddenly, plopping down on the side of the street, gasping for air. Y/N begins to wipe away the sweaty hair his forehead, but it only annoys him. “Please don’t touch me ok.” Yoongi shouts. “I’m sorry. Of course. Yoongi, please, take a deep breath. I think you're having a panic attack.” Yoongi feels sick, his stomach turning and heart racing. He drops his head between his knees, gasping for air. “I’m ok. This is ok. I can do this.” He whispers to himself. “Yoongi, you need to go talk to them.” Y/N whispers and with that Yoongi yells out to the universe. Everything inside him boiling over, tears flowing in succession with his struggled breathing. “I knew they were mad but fuck!” He throws himself into Y/N’s lap, who immediately rubs his back, rocking him back and forth. “It’s ok Yoongi. I’ll help you through this semester and we can come up with a game plan for next year. I promise you're not alone. This is a minor hiccup in what is going to be the best four years of your life.” Yoongi hears everything she’s saying but all he wanted to do right now was feel sorry for himself, he had no use for logic, logic he can use tomorrow. Today, right now, he wanted to hate them and himself.  

“You ready for this?” Y/N asked, the both of you standing outside of your parents' home. Yoongi only nods. “Let’s get this over with.” Yoongi puts his key in the door and attempts to turn it, but it doesn't move. “They changed the fucking locks!” He shouts. “Calm down. Remember what we talked about. You get more bees with honey than vinegar.” “Sure. Honey.” Yoongi responds, slamming his fist on the door. “Jesus Yoongi!” “Fuck them!” He snaps, slamming his fist on the door again. They don’t get nice, not after the stunt they pulled. “Hey! Open up. It's your son! The one you disowned but an hour ago!” The door swings open and Yoongi’s father is standing before you both. “Son.” “Father.” “We have much to discuss, perhaps better without Y/N here.” “She stays or I go.” Yoongi was not up for negotiating. “Fine. Come in.” Yoongi nods to Y/N to follow him in. “You can have these back.” Yoongi declares, giving his father the old keys. “Yoongi, please understand that we wish it didn’t come to this. You still have time to change things. A simple major switch.” “I don’t want to switch majors.” “Maybe study Medicine and minor in music. Compromise.” “I don’t want to be a doctor.”  

“Son. We want what's best for you.” “By cutting me off and leaving me to sleep in the streets?” Yoongi shouts. “You’re always at Y/N’s house!” Yoongi’s mother shouts from the kitchen. “You never make it, so I want to be here! Always pressuring me to be someone I am not! Why can't you just love me as I am?” Yoongi shouts at her. “We do love you as you are son, but music is not a future.” Yoongi’s father inserts. “I’m good at it. You just need to believe in me.” Yoongi all but pleads. Yoongi’s father sighs and Yoongi can see the ice chipping away. He drops to his knees before his father. “Appa, Jebal.” Yoongi feels his father's hand on the back of his head. “NO,” his mother screams, “You have one week to get out! You can go stay with Y/N until you move to the dorms. No compromise.” “Mrs. Min, please. He’s your son.” “Yes Y/N he is, and he has brought me no greater dishonor than this. Now, no more talk. Please leave.” Yoongi feels his heart break into a million pieces, and he makes his last plea to his father. “I’m so sorry Yoongi. Here, take this.” He digs in his pocket, handing Yoongi cash, and kissing him on the forehead. “You must go. Your mother will have it no other way.” Yoongi nods, standing up, tears burning to unleash. “May I gather some things?” He asks his father. “Of course.” His father replies. Yoongi bows and quickly moves towards his room.  

“Help me grab some of this stuff.” He tells Y/N. “Yoongi, wait a minute ok. Maybe we can talk to them some more.” Yoongi gives a pained chuckle, knowing she means well. “It’s over Y/N, I can give your mom this cash for letting me stay with you guys for a bit or maybe I can ask for an early move in date with the school, but this isn't an option anymore. So, please, grab the keyboard and the laptop. Let me get a bag.” Yoongi packs as much of his equipment as he can along with clothing and he and Y/N make their leave. “Son!” Yoongi hears from behind him. “Wait!” His father runs up to him. “Please, here, I like to put away extra cash just in case. You know we love you, but we have bigger dreams for you than you may have for yourself. If things get to be too much trouble, call me. I love you.” Yoongi’s father hugs him and hands him a rolled-up wad of cash, running off back into the house. “Let’s get a cab. This is too much to lug around on a bus.” Y/N offers. Yoongi doesn’t respond, instead looks back at his home, hoping to see someone in the window. I’ll prove them wrong; He thinks. I’ll make them proud of my decision. “I’m sorry Yoongi.” Y/N cuts into his train of thought. “Don't be. Just, thanks for being here with me.” He isn't sure if he could've been as strong if she weren't with him. “I’m always here with you Yoons. Let’s get to my place. We can eat and talk to my mom.”  

“Okay, so turns out my mom is pulling an all nighter at the law firm working on this huge case so she won't be home tonight, but we can talk to her tomorrow.” Y/N explains, tossing her phone on her side table. “No problem. Thanks for calling her, maybe it's better to just talk tomorrow. We can sleep on everything that happened today. I’ve been looking up information on emergency housing and early move in dates for the school ever since we got here.” “Why?” Y/N snaps. “Well maybe because I'm currently homeless.” “Yeah, but not really. My mom isn't going to say no to taking you in Yoongi.” Yoongi can't help but laugh. “It’s one thing to spend a couple of nights but not to live. Besides what happens when you get a boyfriend, or I get a girlfriend. I don’t think either will be happy with us sharing a bed.” Yoongi scoffs. The idea sounding stupid as it leaves his lips but still something he should bring up. Their arraignment was just temporary, and knowing this, he felt the need to remind himself often to keep his feelings at bay. “Yeah, well we don’t have either of those things right now so who cares about that,” She rolls her eyes, unabashedly changing into her pajamas in front of Yoongi, while continuing her rant, “For right now let's talk about you staying here at least until we move into the dorms. Now, I’m going to crash because it has been an eventful day. Try to get some sleep at some point.” Yoongi nods, watching her crawl into bed, ass on display in her red thong, his mouth open. “I'm just going to work on some music and then I'll come crash.” He assures her, wondering if this was the new normal. Seeing each other nude, changing in front of each other, soft kisses just because. He cleared his throat, trying to shake the idea from his head to focus on music.  

Two hours later, Yoongi rubs his eyes, shifting uncomfortably in just his boxer briefs. He really should get some sleep, he thought, seeing it was already 2am. He stretches his body, looking over to the bed at Y/N fast asleep, cuddling a pillow, her lips slightly parted. Why is she so pretty? He groaned, sliding his hand over his face. He released a sigh, opening a private window on his laptop. He looks over at Y/N again, still fast asleep. He clears his throat gently, typing in his favorite porn site. His cheeks heat with slight embarrassment. He shouldn’t feel as dirty as he does. After all the things they’ve done together, he should feel confident enough to wake her up and tell her he’s feeling needy, that after the day he’s had, he just wanted to cum. Unfortunately, he isn't, he’s still so shy, not to mention the fact that her taking control and talking dirty to him was such a turn on he thinks he may have a kink for her dominating him. He groans again at the thought, his cock slowing coming to life. He clicks on the sites search bar, typing in blow jobs. He looks over at his sleeping friend again. Coast is still clear. He begins scrolling through the recommendations, trying to find the perfect video. He needed someone who looked just like his sleeping Y/N.  

He scrolled and scrolled, the anticipation building inside him, until finally he found a video that was close to perfect. He clicks it immediately, no longer able to contain himself. He bites his lip watching the girl on the screen bob up and down with ease, never losing eye contact with the camera. Yoongi felt his body heat, his cock fully hard now and peeking out the thigh of his underwear. He leans forward, covering his mouth to keep from moaning at the sight of this woman work. She soon removes herself from her boyfriend's cock, stroking it gently. “You like that baby?” She asks and Yoongi can’t help but nod in response. “God.” Yoongi whispers when the girl quickly bobs on her boyfriend's cock again, faster than before. He has never had a blow job in his life but just imagining what it felt like had Yoongi’s blood on fire. “Ready to swallow my cum baby?” Her boyfriend asks. “Shit.” Yoongi whispers, palming at his warm erection against his thigh. The feeling so amazing he could swear he feels it riding up the back of his head. He moans a bit, rocking his hips, his headphones sliding forward. “Shit.” He whispers, going to grab them when he realizes, they aren't falling off but being removed from his head by Y/N.  

His mouth drops open and he scrambles to close his laptop. “I.... uh.... I'm sorry.” He panics. “Why?” She asks, lowering herself down to her knees. Yoongi’s eyes slowly widen. “I.... uh.... because.... wha- what are you doing Y/N?” He asks a little whinier than he’d have liked. “Trying something new.” She whispers, leaning forward to lick at the precum that has collected onto his thigh. Yoongi can't help but jump a bit, taken back by her actions. She’s so confident and forward. He wonders if she knows how much it turns him on. “Y/N, you're so sexy.” He whispers, moaning when she wraps her lips around his drooling tip. She suckles a bit before letting go the feeling jolting through Yoongi’s entire body. “Take off your underwear.” She instructs. He jumps up quickly, tugging down his underwear, his cock spring out. “Such a gorgeous cock.” She teases, licking her lips. “Ohhh, fuck.” Yoongi mewls, desperate for her. She smirks, moving forward, wrapping a hand around his length, stroking gently. “Oh God! Just like that.” He pants, his head rolling back. “Ask me.” She whispers with a flick of her wrist. “Wh-what?” “Ask me to suck your cock.” Yoongi’s breath hitches in his throat and he whines a bit at her command. “Please.” “Please what Yoongi?” “Please Y/N, suck my cock.” He begs, his cock twitching in her hand, lust flooding his vision. She smirks up at him, positioning herself between his thighs. She once again wraps her mouth around his sensitive tip, suckling on it softly. “Ah, fuck. That’s so fucking good.” He pants.

Yoongi grips the arms of the chair, trying to keep from losing his shit further. This was real and fuck it felt so good. He couldn’t help but stare at her work. How focused her movements were, how her hand held the base of his cock steady while her wet mouth worked his length, drool dribbling down to his pelvis. He was so happy her mother wasn’t home to hear the desperate, needy moans that fell from his lips. The same moans that seemingly fueled her to bob up and down on his length, taking more of him into her warm mouth. She was so fucking wet, hollowing out her cheeks and then relaxing her jaw as she worked his manhood. Yoongi moaned as softly as he could, gripping the chair, sure he would rip them off at this rate. He desperately wanted to hitch his hips upwards, the feel of her uncontrollable drool pooling under his balls had him wanting to grab her hair and guide her further down but he didn’t want to push things. She soon removes her mouth from around him, a soft whine escaping his throat when the cool air touches his hot cock. “Do you like this? Am I doing it well?” She asks. “Yes. It’s so good. So fucking good.” She smiles at his response, licking a long stripe from the base of his cock up to his tip. The blatant teasing driving him wild, he just can't help but hitch his hips forward when she licks another stripe up his reddened member. She chuckles softly, looking up at him with lust in her eyes. “Can I touch you here?” Her free hand tucking under his scrotum, massaging at his balls. Yoongi’s head falls back, this was something he loved to do to himself but to have her do it to him was something that he never imagined happening.  

She wasted no time waiting for his response, instead, gobbling his cock up again, bobbing quickly up and down all the while massaging his balls. “Fuck! Y/N, this feels so fucking good. You’re amazing! Tug on them. It feels good when you tug on them.” He instructs, so overcome and no longer worried of what she will think of his neediness. His body felt so warm, and his cock was harder than it had ever been. She gently tugs at his sack, and he cries out, not caring how loud he is. Something flips in her and she relaxes her throat a bit, allowing for more of Yoongi’s dick to slide into her throat. His legs falling apart a bit to aid her. Was she really trying to deep throat him? The thought sending him into overdrive, feeling a tug deep in his balls. “Fuck, Y/N, if you keep this up, I won't last.” He groans, sucking a breath in through his teeth. She comes up for air, unable to take all of him. She shakes it off, not taking much of a break, bobbing again on as much of him as she can, using her hand to stroke the parts of him she can't reach. Yoongi gasps, the feeling so overpowering, he can't help but thrust up into her working mouth. “Just like that, ohhhh fuck! I’m really not going to last. Ohhh God. Fuck. Y/N, please. I need to cum.” He grips at the arms till his knuckles are white. She shakes her head at him, and his eyes widen at the realization that she's EDGING HIM!!?!  

He drops his head back with a long-drawn-out groan, trying to think of anything but the burning need to cum. His mind goes to water and how much he hates getting wet. That one time in middle school when he came home early and his parents where fucking on the couch. He grimaces at the image. His need to blow his load slowly dissipating. He looks down at Y/N diligently working and the need to cum comes back with full force when she locks eyes with him, sucking and stroking like her life depended on it. “Ohhhh, no no! Water, ice cold water.” He groans, closing his eyes tightly. She stops what she's doing, drawing Yoongi’s attention back to her. She removes her sleep shirt, her perfect tits on display. Yoongi can't help but reach down and touch them, rolling her perky nipples between his fingers. “You’re so sexy Yoongi. So good for me. You wanna cum baby? You can cum now, just let me know when you're going to cum ok.” She instructs. He nods, panting like a dog in heat. She takes his length in her mouth again, bobbing and stroking so fast, it doesn’t take long for Yoongi’s orgasm to build up. He moans her name over and over, his abdomen tensing, his balls tightening. “Now, now baby. I’m gonna fucking cum right now.”  

She takes a moment to just suckle on his tip, sending surges of electricity throughout his body. “Shit baby, I can't hold on.” He pleads. She moves away, stroking his cock with one hand, and lifting her tits up with the other. “Cum on my tits. I want you to so bad baby.” She pants. “Fuuuuuck!” He exclaims, placing his hand over hers to stroke his cock, aiming at her gorgeous breasts. He growls at the amazing feeling that surges through him when his prostate begins to pump, that first spurt shooting out of his tip and onto her waiting bosom. She gasps when his warm seed hits her chest. Yoongi pants desperately, moving his cock around to fully cover her in his climax. They both stop moving their hands and she leans in to suckle at the final beads of cum that accumulate at the tip of his cock. Yoongi sucks in a deep breath through his teeth, overstimulation stinging. “Ah it's too much.” He moans. She unlatches and begins to rub his cum into her mounds. Yoongi is so turned on by her display that he reaches down, lifting her off the ground and carrying her over to the bed.

Yoongi lies her back on the bed, panting hard as he pulls her red thong off her body. “Yoongi.” She moans out when he drops between her thighs. He’s never done this before, but he’s never wanted to do something more in his life. In this moment, as he buried his nose in Y/N’s sex, if he had to choose between music and tasting her, he would pick tasting her hands down. “Yoongi, please, make me cum.” She begged causing Yoongi to take a deep inhale of her delicious intoxicating scent before his tongue darts out of his mouth, collecting her nectar on his tongue. He moans into her cunt, her taste a swirl of tangy and sweet. “So fucking good.” He breaths against her, resting his body flush against the bed, gripping the flesh of her thighs. She hungrily spreads her legs for him, gripping his locks, and pulling him close to her dripping folds. “Eat my pussy!” She growls, yanking at his hair. “Yes baby, anything for you.” He coos, diving into her wetness. He licks at her gorgeous folds first, swallowing back her juices with deep hungry moans. His mind begins to race. Am I doing this right? Is she enjoying this? Should I use my hands like in porn? “Lick here,” She pants, yanking him away by his hair to point at her swollen bud, “my clit.” He nods, licking her juices from his lips.  

He lowers his head between her thighs, gliding his tongue over her clit. A sharp gasp escaping her lips, her back arching. Yoongi’s skin gooses at her response and a surge of excitement courses through him. He begins to roll his tongue in quick flicks over her sensitive bud, the sweet sounds she’s making his reward. “Oh Yoongi. This is so good. Faster. G-go faster.” She gasps, thrusting her hips into his face. He groans into her sex, the feeling of her gyrating against him causing his cock to come back to life. He starts swinging his tongue side to side as fast as he possibly can, his appendage soon growing tired. “Can I use my fingers?” He pops his head up to ask. She’s completely out of breath but nods. “Just don’t put them inside me. I’m not ready for that yet.” INSIDE!! Yoongi’s brain screams. “I... No.... I won't.” He stutters, lowering back down. He brings a hand up, wrapping his mouth around her clit and slurping. “SHIT! Yoongi, oh fuck!” She cries out, bucking forward. Yoongi places his first two fingers on either side of her hardened nub and begins to slide them up and down quickly. The combination of his saliva and her juices aiding his moving fingers. She pants frantically, tugging at his now sensitive scalp, bucking into his face. Yoongi switches between suckling and rolling his tongue against her clit, moving his fingers in succession with his greedy appendage. “Yoongi! Fuck! Oh, Fuck! I’m going to cum.” She cries out, her walls beginning to quake causing her entrance to pulse against Yoongi’s chin.

He hums in approval at the feeling of her fresh juices leaking out on his face, her body tensing with one final tug on his scalp before relaxing. Yoongi finally pulls away when he feels her body relax, lifting off the bed, his massive erection on display. “Come here. Kiss me.” She gasps, arms outstretched. He gently falls into her arms, latching onto her soft lips and swirling his tongue around hers. He moans into her mouth when she grabs onto his cock, quickly stroking it against her abdomen. He tries to pull away, tell her she doesn’t have to, but she wraps her free hand around his neck to keep him latched to her lips. Her hand moves with ease, he’s so turned on, his cock is freely spilling pre-cum. He mewls and moans desperately into her commanding mouth. Her wrist twisting, hand twirling over his tip just how he likes it. He whines now, the only wat he knows how to warn her of his impending climax. His body tenses and his core tightens like it never has before. Before long, he’s grunting against her lips, his cock shooting the best climax he’s ever experienced between their bodies.

She finally releases his swollen pout, kissing him once more softly. “You didn’t have to.” He whispers against her lips. “I know. I really really wanted to though.” She smiles wide, leaning in to kiss him again. “Y/N?” “Yeah?” Yoongi doesn’t want to play games anymore. He just wants to be with her. He smiles softly, fighting against his shyness, the words on the tip of his tongue when he swears, he hears her door close. They both look up frantically at the door. “Shit! Was that your mom?” He whispers. “I don’t know. Shh. Let me listen.” She whispers, arm still wrapped around Yoongi’s neck. “I should get dressed. We both should.” “It’s ok. Don’t freak out. I’m sure she’s not home. She said she wouldn’t be home till the morning.” “Technically its morning.” Yoongi snaps, his heart thumping against his chest. “Just relax.” “Fuck. If she finds out about us. She’s going to freak.” Yoongi groans. “There is no us Yoongi. Just two friends hugging. Even if she walked in, she can't be sure what she saw.” Yoongi scoffs, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “No, yeah, you’re right.” “Exactly. So, what did you want to say before?” “Uh, nothing. I’m gonna shower.” “Ok.” She says, leaning forward to kiss Yoongi again. He closes his eyes even though he shouldn’t. His heart betraying him with a flutter when he knows this is just temporary. He gets up and moves towards the bathroom. “Hey!” She calls his attention. He looks over to her and she winks at him, throwing herself back into the plush bedding.  

#yoongi smut #yoongi fluff #suga x you #bts smut #suga x reader

[dailytomlinson]

While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#telegraph uk #press #louis tomlinson #241120 #its FULL of stunts as telegraph usually goes #stunt mention #Eleanor Halls

[witch-and-a-half]

a nap on the train

there’s a bit towards the end where we switch perspectives kind of and i really hope its not confusing! (if it is, lmk and i can edit it so it’s a bit more obvious that we are in their thoughts)

notes: george x reader, fluff, no specific house/year/etc, kissing!

words: 1.4k

- - -

Just like always, [y/n] had packed for school at the very last minute and stayed up until near dawn making sure everything she needed was in her trunk. That’s why, as she watched the landscape speed past the window of the Hogwarts Express, her eyelids began to grow heavy. The lulling motion of the train and the warmth of George’s body next to hers only made her sleepier.

“You alright?” George asked when he realized she’d grown quiet.

[y/n] sighed and leaned her head on George’s shoulder, “Just tired is all.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder so her head rested comfortably on his chest. [y/n] didn’t think much of the gesture—she’d fallen asleep on both of the twins before after late nights in the Common Room—but she was grateful for the accommodation.

Lee and the twins were chatting about Quidditch… or maybe their summer antics? [y/n] wasn’t really listening anymore. She was too exhausted and too comfortable to care that she was missing out on the conversation. George lowered his voice when he realized she was dozing off, but she could still feel the gentle rumble of his voice through his school sweater.

~ ~ ~

[y/n] was pulled from her sleep when Fred unpackaged the sandwich Molly had packed him as a snack. The unfamiliar sound of the paper rustling drew her slowly back into consciousness, but she stayed still and kept her eyes closed. Hopefully, she could fall back to sleep.

“Merlin George,” [y/n] heard Fred say through his sandwich-stuffed mouth, “When are you going to tell [y/n] you fancy her?”

That perked [y/n]’s half-asleep ears. She felt George stiffen at his brother’s words, but she remained entirely still, hoping to listen in on their conversation.

“Shush! She’s right here,” George whispered angrily.

“Oh come on, she’s fast asleep,” Lee whispered back, “and on your chest, I might add.”

[y/n] fought back a smile. Honestly, she was a bit proud to be fooling the biggest jokers at school.

“You are being pretty obvious, Georgie. I’m beginning to feel a bit embarrassed for you,” Fred said. [y/n] imagined he had one eyebrow raised in that all-knowing way he sometimes did; like the time she’d pranked Lee and he was the only one who’d figured out she’d done it.

She imagined George squinting his eyes a bit when he said, “I am not. And it’s really none of your business if I tell her.”

Fred’s voice sounded benevolent, “Okay fine. She’s gonna find out some way or another.”

Again, [y/n] struggled to keep herself from grinning. For a moment, she considered opening her eyes and winking at Fred, but she wasn’t sure if she trusted him to keep quiet.

The boys moved on to other topics and, despite the nervous pounding in her chest, [y/n] let herself fall back to sleep.

~ ~ ~

[y/n] awoke when she felt the train had stopped moving. She sat up groggily and George took his arm from around her shoulder. Nudging her, he whispered, “We’re here, sleepyhead.”

Fred and Lee made a few playful comments about [y/n]’s nap as the group gathered their things. George reached up to pull down his and [y/n]’s luggage from the rack above their seats. He gave her a soft smile as he handed her the trunk, and she hoped he didn’t notice the shy way she looked away from his gaze. They followed Fred and Lee out of the compartment, but, when she was sure no one was looking, she tossed one of her rings onto the ground below their seats.

Once they had reached the door of the train, [y/n] gasped as though she’d just realized something. “I’m missing my ring. George, would you come back to our compartment with me to find it?”

As George nodded, he thought he saw a glimmer of mischief in [y/n]’s eyes, but Fred spoke before he could be sure.

“Blimey [y/n], we’ll be late for dinner.”

“I’m sorry. You two can save us seats.” She waved her hand at them, gesturing for them to go ahead.

~ ~ ~

“I’m so sorry I’m making us late, Georgie.” [y/n] said, laying it on thick with the nickname. Being the only girl of the group, she was used to being the last to know about pranks or secrets, so she was enjoying having a little secret of her own.

“S’okay. It didn’t take long for you to find it.” He replied as they climbed into one of the carriages. Since they’d been one of the last people off the train, they had the carriage to themselves. Just as [y/n] had hoped.

“So…” [y/n] said after a moment. She let her hand fall just above George’s knee and relished the confused look on his face. He was slowly realizing that he hadn’t imagined the troublesome look in her eye from earlier.

“I heard you fancy me?” Suddenly, [y/n] realized she’d given up her leverage. All the cards were on the table, and her stomach began to churn with nerves she didn’t know she had been harboring.

George’s face turned red and he didn’t meet her eyes, “I really didn’t mean for you to find out…”

The pit in her stomach grew at his words, “Oh? Why not?”

After a moment, George exhaled, “I just… I figure you don’t like me back and if I told you… it’d ruin our friendship.”

“Oh, Georgie…” she paused, trying to craft a response. She wanted to tell him how safe she felt in his arms and how much she adored spending time with him. Until she’d heard him say it, she’d never let herself even imagine that he reciprocated the flame she carried for him. But how could she tell him without jeopardizing their friendship and her friendship with Fred and Lee?

As [y/n] was lost in thought, George’s head was spinning. The steady roll of the carriage and cool night air was the only thing grounding him to that moment as his thoughts raced. Of course, she didn’t like him back and now he’d have to deal with the heartbreak. And he couldn’t stop seeing her—they were bloody best friends—so he’d still have to hear her shy giggles and see her goofy grins every day. All while knowing he could never hold her tight and tell her how much he loved her.

“It’s okay… we can just let it go.” He could practically feel his heart wrench when he said those words, but he knew it would hurt even more to hear [y/n] tell him she didn’t feel the same way.

But then her hand moved to hold his, and his breath caught in his throat.

Had the situation been different, [y/n] would have laughed at the shock on George’s face as he looked from their hands to [y/n]’s face. Instead, she just smiled reassuringly and leaned in coyly.

“Of course I fancy you back,” Her voice was quiet as if anyone else was around to overhear.

George watched her eyes scan his face nervously. He was utterly enthralled by her, and the moment overtook him. Next thing he knew, he had moved so his lips met hers.

His lips were so much softer than [y/n] had imagined. His hands quickly found her waist, but, as [y/n] let George’s tongue venture into her mouth, he moved one hand to cup her face. She kept her hand on his thigh but used the other to drag her fingertips through his scalp. [y/n] tugged gently on the hair near the nape of George’s neck and felt him smile against her lips.

They pulled away after a few moments when the carriage stopped. George climbed out of the carriage first and extended his hand to help [y/n] down. He didn’t let go as they headed toward the castle.

“How long do ya reckon until Fred and Lee find out?” George asked playfully.

[y/n] looked up at him in the light of the Great Hall corridor, absorbing as much of the moment as she possibly could, before responding, “Based on the flush of your cheeks and the way I don’t want to let go of your hand… I’d guess 30 seconds tops.”

George’s chuckle filled the empty corridor and he gave [y/n] a tender kiss on the forehead before they entered the Great Hall.

#george weasley #fred and george #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfic #george weasley imagine #george weasley hc #george weasley oneshot #george weasley fluff #fluff #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #harry potter oneshot #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #i wrote this

[beskarhearts]

Vencuyot (Din Djarin x reader)

source: @isetthetone​

Connection series Pt. 11

Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, fighting, total sleazy douche bag

Word count: over 8.5 K

Summary: Din and you finally get started on helping the kid find his kind.

Notes: Alright, we are finally going into the events of season two! Each episode will probably be about 2-3 chapters. And I’m also planning right now on how to incorporate original scenes while also kind of following the overarching story line from season two. I am very excited to see how you guys like it!

Previous Part ____ Next Part

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“You’re good with him.”

You smile warmly at Din, holding the child’s little body against your chest to which he let out a string of joyful noises that pulled at your heart strings. You looked down quickly to see the child’s eyes look up at you, his little hand beginning to pull of strands of your hair. He always loved to play with it, sometimes to tug at it or yank it, but most of the times he’d just run his three tiny fingers through it like it was the most fascinating thing. You looked back up to Din, who watched the two of you with his helmet tilted slightly. You couldn’t see his expression but you’d like to think you knew him well enough to know he was smiling underneath the helmet.

Moments like these were nice. The kind of moments where you, Din, and the kid just sat together in the hull of the Crest, letting the ship guide you guys through hyperspace as the three of you just relaxed. It was domestic and pure and everything you and Din deserved. 

“Yeah. I guess I kind of am.” You quietly admitted. You never wanted to brag about the way you were able to care for the child. Yes, it was part of your job around here. But Din also helped and a small part of you always saw the child as Dins, and solely Dins. Din had been the one to find him and protect him. He was the one who made an oath to find his kind, putting his Creed and life at risk to do it. It had been just been the two of them for a while before you came along. So yes, you were good with the kid, but you never wanted to overstep a boundary and claim the kid as your own. Even in spite of the way a maternal wave washed over you each time you saw the child coo at you or reach for you. The way a sleepy smile would pop onto his face when he woke up and saw you. The way some nights he would just need to be held by you for a while before feeling safe and secure enough to go to bed. In spite of all those things that made you feel special, you still wanted to show respect to their relationship.

“You definitely are.” Din paused, sitting forward a little more before continuing. “Is it cause of some... Jedi thing?”

You smiled at the way Din spoke about anything Jedi related. You were the first to admit you weren’t the most educated about Jedi history but Din was absolutely clueless. You supposed that made sense considering the rift between Mandalorians and Jedi’s but it still made you chuckle whenever he tried to speak about the matter. “I don’t know, to be honest. I think sometimes I just can feel what he needs or sense when something is wrong. I don’t know if it’s a Jedi thing or just a m-” you cut yourself off, trapping the words in your mouth before they slip out.

“Just a what?” Din asked and you shook your head quickly.

“Oh nothing, it was just a silly thing.”

Din sighed, reaching forward and brushing his hand against your knee. “What was it, cyar’ika?”

“I was going to say a mother thing. But not cause I’m the kids mom or anything. It was dumb because I’m totally not. I’m just-“

“Stop.” You physically bring your lips together to stop yourself from rambling. “I might not know much but I know the kid sees you as a mother.”

You smiled warmly, looking down at the child in your lap who continue to play with strands of hair, not paying much attention to the conversation being had. “Yeah?”

Din nodded. “Of course. And you are a good one.”

You tried to look away from Din, not wanting him to see the way your face flushed from the compliment or the way your eyes started to water from the sincerity of it. You truly loved the child, probably a bit too much. And maybe you shouldn’t look at him like a son considering what you knew was bound to happen, but you didn’t contemplate the pain you would one day feel at his possible departure. As far as you knew, this was your family and you were going to enjoy it for as long as possible. And that meant treating the kid like your own because even if you selfishly wanted to build a wall up, you knew the child needed a parental figure in his life. He was only a small child after all, one who had already been through enough and hidden away for so long. So you figured you could do this for him. You could show him love and compassion, how it feels to be protected by someone who cares for you. It was a job Din did extraordinarily well, something you don’t think he even realized he did. And you were damned to do your best by the kid. Even if in the end it hurt yourself. Because wasn’t that one of the biggestc, yet also inevitable, sacrifices of a parent?

“Thank you.” you whispered out and the kid finally looked a you then, showing you the hair in his hands to which you nodded. He dropped the hair before picking it back up, seeming satisfied by the feeling of the strands slipping through his fingertips.

“Do you ever. I don’t know. Want... some?”

You glance up a Din, your eyebrows shooting up at the way he awkwardly fumbled with his words. Din was usually a very clear man so you knew if he was struggling to express himself, it must be new territory for him. “Want what?”

Din didn’t bother to verbally answer, simply directing his head towards the kid. You let out a small ‘oh’ once understanding what he was getting at. “Kids?” You clarified to which the Mandalorian firmly nodded.

Your heart skipped in your chest at the thought. Maker, kids. You hadn't considered the idea of having kids in so long. For many years, it seemed an impossible task. Having a child meant allowing someone in, which was not something you excelled in. You also never found yourself too invested in the prospect of having kids of your own. It wasn’t that you didn’t like them, though Jakku was never teeming with them. Kids were fine. You often found them to be funny, like little drunken adults just wandering around. And you could t deny that they were cute (though you would argue the child in your lap was even cuter than human children). But when you looked in the mirror before, you never saw a woman who could be a mother. It just wasn’t part of your personality. You had watched your own mother for so long and you loved her, but you hadn’t been similar to her at all, you two often having differing opinions. But your mother had seemed like such the picture-perfect mom to you and if you were nothing like her, how could you be a mom?

But now things were different. You were a different person than you used to be (a better one as well you would argue). And that was due to Din. Having allowed yourself to open up to someone taught you a lot of things about relationships, communication, and trust. And now there was someone in your life who you could kind of invision a future with. A very rocky, unclear future but a future nonetheless.

The kid also changed your perspective. When you met the child, you instantly felt a connection to him. You wanted to grab his small little body and hold him close, make him smile. It was like this instinctual side of you kicked in, a side you didn’t know you even had. And now you liked it. You liked caring for him and being there for important things. You loved to way he had begun to expand the way he communicated , whether that be with his facial expressions or noises. You loved that when he first woke up in the morning and saw either you or Din, a sleepy little smile would form that made your morning instantly better. You loved when he would giggle when you did something stupid or silly. You even liked when he needed your help, when his grabby hands reached out for something he wanted. Watching him grow was like a gift. So now the idea of kids sounded exponentially more appealing than it ever had before.

“I never really used to. Was never that type of person really. But now... yeah. Maybe one day.” You said the last part with a sheepish shrug. You didn’t know what one day meant, even to you. You had sworn to stick by Din, even once the kid was gone. And though there was no label and nothing official, there was clearly something happening between the two of you. You were certainly a little more than friends, though you didn’t want to jump to any assumptions and make a fool of yourself.

But you couldn’t help the way your heart nearly jumped out of your chest at the thought of having kids with Din. You already knew he was paternal. You didn’t need to see beneath the armor to see the way he looked at the kid. He treated him like a son and did an exceptionally good job at protecting him and making him feel safe. And sometime, when you were with the kid and Din walked into the room, you could feel this rush of love wash over you, almost like you were feeling what the kid felt. You felt this immense sense of belonging and love, a type of admiration you couldn’t even begin to describe. He looked up to him in a way a kid is truly meant to look up to their dad. There was no doubt in your mind that Din would be a great father.

You cleared your throat and looked up at Din. “What about you?”

“Absolutely.” The answer didn't shock you too much in particular. It was the speed at which he answered. He hadn’t taken a second to even think about it or contemplate it. The answer had just leapt out of his mouth as soon as you had finished speaking. You couldn’t help the way you grinned at him but felt it drop slowly as he let out a loud sigh, his helmet dropping down. “But I don’t know if that’s even possible.”

You furrowed your brow. “What do you mean?”

“This life isn’t right for a kid. And I’m just not the kind of person.”

“Woah, that’s not true. Have you seen yourself with the kid?” You reached a hand out to rest on his leg, reassuringly squeezing it. His helmet finally lifted up a little but you could still see the way his body slightly dropped. “You would be a great dad, Din Djarin.”

“A Mandalorian isn’t the greatest dad.” You could definitely understand where Din was coming from. Life for Din was unstable, tumultuous. His whole job required a certain level of danger that he had to willingly accept every day. Definitely not the most conducive for raising a child.

But you had always imagined Din settling down one day, not even with you per say but just in general. He deserved that. Out of all the people you could imagine, he was one who deserved to find a home somewhere, marry someone, have a peaceful life with what he wanted. Now that you considered it, you didn’t even know if that was a possibility. “Is the whole Mandalorian thing a life time commitment or do you eventually retire?”

“I never really thought about it. I just figured I’d keep going until...well, let’s just say Mandalorians don’t have the greatest track record.”

Your stomach lurched at the meaning behind Dins answer. A job that was a game between life and death meant one of two things, you either lived or died. And you expected that eventually death caught up to the Mandalorians, no matter how strong or unshakeable they appeared. Your heart broke for Din. He had been living his days just working, expecting his life to be cut short because of the life he lived, the job he had, the armor he bore. You squeezed his leg even tighter, forcing him to look at you directly. You stared right into his visor, hoping you were making eye contact with him. “I’m here now. And I’m going to make sure you live a long life. A good one.”

Din just stared back at you, responding with a small jerk of the head. “Okay.”

You nodded in response before smiling, try to lighten the situation. “Good. So you better come up with a retirement plan, old man.”

Din chuckled at you, shaking his head jokingly. “Will do.” You grinned at him but felt it drop slightly as Din continued on. “We need to start looking for the kid’s kind.”

You knew this moment was coming and soon. You and Din had already spent too long playing house, justifying it with excuses like you were trying to come up with a good plan or you were letting time pass so things could calm down. But you and Din both knew the truth deep down. Things weren’t going to calm down and no good plan would be formed without starting somewhere. 

You looked back down at the kid, who just gurgled as he saw your attention land upon him. Sometimes you thought he was too young for training, even though he was fifty. He was just a baby. A child. You had only received a sliver of training and that had been some of the most intense work you had ever done. You couldn’t imagine the same little child in your lap, the one whose most prized possession was a metal ball and who cried when he couldn’t eat a butterfly, was supposed to become a Jedi. But you also understood that you couldn’t even attempt to understand his full potential and just how truly powerful he was. And the earlier he started harnessing it, the better. Sometimes you wish you had been taught earlier. You understood what it felt like to be younger and capable of something you couldn’t understand. It was terrifying sometimes and other times just plain confusing. 

You looked back up at Din. “Yeah. We do.”

“We need a plan.”

“We don’t even know where to start, Din.” 

“Do you know of any... Jedi places?”

You laughed at his question. “No. I’m afraid I will be of no help to you in that regard. I barely know any more about Jedi’s than you do.”

Din nodded and you knew he was slightly disappointed, but not upset. You understood that feeling. Sometimes you wished you were better or knew something so you knew how to help out. But you had also accepted that you were who you were and nothing would change that.

“I need to find other Mandalorians. I was told they could help me.”

“Well, where are the Mandalorians?”

“I don’t know.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “How do you not know? You guys don’t have like some meet up spot or something?”

Din chuckled, now finding your lack of knowledge about Mandalorians as funny as you find his lack of knowledge about Jedis. “They are called coverts and they are in secret locations for safety. There was one on Nevarro but that got exposed.”

“So you have no clue where any are?”

“No.”

You huffed. “Well then, what do we do?”

“I know some people who might know information about where Mandalorians are. We can start there.”

You nodded. “I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“So once we find a Jedi, we just hand him over? That’s it?” You found that to be such a bizarre thought. Jedi’s were supposed to be peacemakers but that hadn’t stopped a fair share of them from becoming Siths instead. How were you supposed to meet someone and just trust them enough right away to hand the child over? What if this person just took advantage of him or worse, handed him over to Gideon for a large prize?

“I don’t know how this works at all. We need to just find out more information before we get to that.”

“And what if we can’t find one?”

“I made a promise. He is under my care and I vowed to bring him to his kind. I will make sure it happens, no matter how long it takes.”

You admired Din’s dedication. You had never met an individual who was so devoted, whether that be devoted to his Creed or to the child or yourself. It was so admirable and you believed every word that came out of his mouth. 

“You are a good man, Din.”

Din just nodded in response and you wondered if he ever believed you when you said that. You meant it with every part of your being but you don’t think he ever looked in the mirror and saw the man you saw. Saw the kind heart and the beautiful soul that laid hidden beneath all his armor. You just wanted to spend all your days showing him that, hoping one day he would see it. Look past the helmet and the job and see who he was. 

“Din?”

“Yes?”

“What are we going to do after all of this?” The question had been on the tip of your tongue for weeks now. You knew Din had said he wanted you to stay. And you knew your relationship had now progressed, though neither of you had placed any binding label on it.  Those were great things and you were thrilled by them but you didn’t know what that would entail for you guys.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when we find the kid a place to go, what do we do? Are you going back to bounty hunting? I mean can you even do that after you took the kid back?”

Din’s helmet tilted and you knew he was deep in thought. Part of you hoped he couldn’t and you felt selfish for it. You knew that was what Mandalorians did. They worked, endlessly. But you couldn’t imagine finding somewhere for the kid to go and then Din working night and day to catch bounties, traveling through the galaxy from one place to the next for the rest of his days. You wanted him to be able to relax, to live a life that he had never even thought to envision. A life where he could have kids when he wanted to or could just live in peace. 

“If you could go to any planet, where would you go?”

You brought your head back, staring at Din with a perplexed expression. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just tell me.”

You thought before remembering a planet Mai had told you about. “Sesid. Mai said she read about it once. There is supposed to be so much ocean that you can’t walk anywhere where you don’t have a view of it. And where you don’t see blue, it is supposed to be so green with so many trees and plants.”

“Then we will go there.”

You let out a laugh. “Din, what are you talking about?”

“I don’t know exactly what will happen after all of this. But I know I want to be with you. So once we find the kid a place to go, you and I will go to Sesid.”

You smiled up at him. You still didn’t know if that was even possible but you didn’t want to think about what would realistically happen. You wanted to believe, if only for this moment, that Din and you would help the kid and then be together, somewhere beautiful and happy. “Okay. Sesid it is.”

Din nodded in agreement. “I do know one thing for sure, though.

“What?”

Din leaned towards you, close enough that if he weren’t wearing the helmet you could kiss him. You leaned against him, your forehead tapping against the helmet. “I am going to do whatever I can to make you happy.”

__________

Once night fell, the two fell into their new routine. They didn’t discuss it but it kind of just fell in place. As soon as the child’s eyes slid closed, Din grabbed onto her, pulling her to crawl into his bed, the cot on the floor she used to sleep on being long forgotten now. 

Din shuffled in next to her, closing the hatch to the cot and removing his helmet immediately after. Part of him wished so much that he could have a light on, just so he could see her face when she was laid in his bed, next to him. But for now, being able to feel her beside him was more than he could ever ask her. 

Din rested his body against the padding of the thin mattress, feeling her immediately shuffle into him. Her head sat to rest on his shoulder and he could feel her breath tickle his neck. One of her arms wrapped around his chest, clinging on like it was a life preserver. Her legs tangled with his and she let out a loud sigh once she finally rested comfortably into him, letting the shape of his body contour into hers. “You are very comfortable, y’know?” She mumbled happily and Din felt a small smile grow on his face. He loved this. Loved the way she clung onto him and the way she hummed as he wrapped an arm around around her back, tracing her spine over her shirt with his finger tips. 

“Yeah?” He responded, feeling himself turn his head in her direction. He couldn’t see her, only the silhouette of her body if he focused enough. 

“Mmhhm.” She hummed and Din brought his lips down to kiss the top of her head. Her head tilted up in response and she brought her lips against his, allowing the two to mold together. Din couldn’t believe he had gone this long without kissing her. Whenever he did, it felt so divinely perfect in a way he couldn’t even begin to describe. It was warm and thrilling but also made Din feel safe in a way he never had before. Like no matter what happened, he would be okay as long as she was there.  He had never felt that way with anybody else before, besides his parents so long ago. Nobody had ever wormed their way into his heart like she had. 

She eventually pulled away, her breathing a little heavier than before, and rested her head back into her previous position, nuzzling into him. “Where are we headed now?” 

“A planet on the outer rim. I know someone who might be able to help me find other Mandalorians.” 

“A friend?”

Din couldn’t help the small chuckle that came out. “No. He is an old gangster. Gor Karesh is his name.”

“Oh, lovely. Old gangsters are my favorite.”

“Oh really?”

She let out a giggle at the jab and he could hear the grin on her lips. “Oh yeah. You better hope he doesn’t win me over cause I might just stay with him instead.”

Din narrowed his eyes, not understanding what she meant. “You aren’t seeing him.”

She paused for a moment before letting out a small sigh. “Yes, I am. I’m coming with you.”

“I don’t want you coming. You’ll be safer in the Crest.”

“Din, last time you left me alone in the Crest, a man ended up dead.” She didn’t say it with anger or annoyance. Din didn’t detect any harshness in the words. It was just said very matter-of-factly, reminding Din of himself. But it still didn’t stop the way his heart dropped into his stomach at her rebuttal. She wasn’t wrong. Last time she had begged him to come and he had refused, all in the name of protecting her. But he had seen where that ended and he didn’t want a repeat of it.

As much as it pained him, she was right. Din wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her safe. But in a galaxy like this, with a man like Moff Gideon hunting for him, nothing was safe. It was all inherently dangerous. And Din knew she was more than capable. She was smart and strong. She could stand her own but he still felt uncomfortable with the idea of pushing her into danger directly. It felt like a betrayal to the promise he had made to protect both her and the kid. “Okay.”

She nodded her head against him. “I’ll be fine. You know, I might even be an advantage. I’m pretty smart.”

“I know you are, sweet one.” 

“Well then, we will be fine. We’ve got your crazy Mando strength, the kids hand thing, and my quick-witted humor. It should go very smoothly.” Her body started shaking slightly with laughter and Din couldn’t help but to join in with her. He couldn’t remember the last time anything in his life had gone smoothly and he expected this to be no exception. 

Once the laughing stopped, she rested her hand on his chest, right over his heart, and patted softly. “Really though. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

Din nodded, feeling slightly better with her reassurances. She was probably right. It would be okay especially with her there. Din had never really worked with anyone before but everything was different now. She was his rock and he trusted her. She pressed a small kiss onto his jaw and he could feel her smile into it. 

“Din, this is perfect but I am going to be a pain in the ass.”

“What is it?”

“I’m freezing my ass off.” 

Din let out a chuckle, shaking his head. It was probably from all the years he spent in hyperspace, but he was never cold while she managed to somehow always be cold. Even with his body heat and the one blanket over them, he could feel the goosebumps on her skin as he ran a hand over her arm. “You are always cold.”

She huffed. “It’s not my fault you are cold blooded and that this ship is colder than Hoth itself.”

“Where did your blanket go?”

“I think it’s still in my bag. I haven’t gone through it since I got back from Jakku.”

Din started to shuffle, pulling away from her to which she let out a loud whine. “Let me put on my helmet and I’ll grab it for you.”

She sighed contently at him and Din slipped the helmet on his head before opening the door to the cot. Some light from the hull of the ship reached his bed and he could see her face just slightly illuminated, a sleepy, lopsided smile on her face. She looked right back up at him. “Did I ever tell you that you are my hero?”

Din shook his head before slipping out of the bed. He walked over to a corner of the hull, where her bag had been sitting for days now. He bent down, opening it and saw the blanket on the top, with a small piece of folded paper with her name sprawled on it. He picked it up, feeling the weight of it in his fingers. “What is this?” he asked out of curiosity, not opening it.

“What is it?” She said, not bothering to get up to look.

“I think it’s a letter.” He looked back just in time to see her head pop up slightly. She furrowed her eyebrows before beginning to slip out of the bed, wrapping the blanket around her body. 

“What does it say?”

“Just has your name on it.” 

She eventually stumbled over to him and he reached his hand up, offering the letter to her. She reached a hand out from under the blanket, grabbing onto it and reading the writing on the front. “That is Mai’s handwriting.” 

She brought her other hand out, the blanket resting on her shoulders and arms, and began to unfold the piece of paper. Din looked up at her as she began to read. He sat silently, even as her face dropped into a blank stare and her face paled. She suddenly folded the paper up, shaking her head. “What is it?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But I can’t read it right now.” He saw the way her chest was heaving and how her eyes were frantically moving around, as if she was trying to follow something that wasn’t there. 

“Sweet one?”

“It’s something about my family. That’s as far as I got.” Din stood up and looked down at her. She didn’t look at him, her face twisting up as she frantically shook her head as if begging someone to stop. “I can’t do this. I’m am finally okay with everything and I don’t need to read something that will just mess with me.”

“But what if it is something important?”

“If none of them told me and I didn’t find out for this many years, I am sure it can wait.” She scrunched the paper up in her hands, tossing it into the opening of her bag. “Besides, we have to focus on the kid. This can wait. He can’t.”

Din slowly nodded and she forced a smile onto her face. He hated when she did this, when she buried everything in and just put on a smile. He knew it was how she coped and he could identify with that. He was similar, but instead of smiling, he buried everything down and then hunted a bounty to forget. 

Instead of pushing her, he held up the blanket that was still grasped in his hand. She looked at it and chuckled. “Maybe I can sleep now since I won’t be freezing.”

“Are you okay?” Din couldn’t help but to ask. 

“I will be as long as you come keep me warm.” Her hand reached out for one of his and tugged him over. “Let’s go to bed.”

__________

“Well, this is just such a beautiful place. We should come back one day when we are really able to enjoy the sights and sounds.” You sarcastically mumbled, arms protectively held over your chest as you looked all around you. The walls surrounded you, all of which covered in a plethora of graffiti, parts of them crumbling into pieces. The outer rim was not a pleasant place in general, you knew that. But you had finally landed on the planet where Koresh was supposed to be and as soon as you stepped outside the Crest, you just knew it was a real shit hole. And walking through the streets of whatever town you were just confirmed it. 

It was completely dark outside, almost totally silent. You didn’t see any other people around, except for pairs of red glowing eyes that hid in dark corners and made the child whimper. You looked back to the child, who was sitting in his pram that floated beside you. His small ears tucked in slightly on himself and he buried himself into the pram slightly, big eyes looking all around. Looking over at Din, you didn’t detect any sense of unease. He was on what you’d like to call Mando mode. His head was aiming straight forward, attention on the path in front of him. He stood tall and straight, seeming like such an intimidating figure even in such a shady place. He was completely silent, not speaking. He didn’t like to talk much in public and you weren’t sure if it was because he was uncomfortable to do so or if it was a matter of maintaining a reputation that made others cower in fear.

You let out a sigh at his lack of response until you turn the corner, coming to a door. You see the first individual of the night, a Twi’lek standing guard who stares back at the Mandalorian. He doesn’t greet the two of you with anything but a harsh expression. So much for a welcome.

“I’m here to see Gor Koresh.” Din directed, his voice sounding strong through the modulator. Despite the demand, the Twi’lek still doesn’t speak, just looking over at you before his eyes landed on the Child. The kid looked up at him, cooing slightly.

The man looked away, moving aside and pushing the door open for you to pass through. “Enjoy the fights.” was all he said as you and Din entered. As soon as you walked into the building, you felt your face scrunch up. The place smelled like ale and blood strongly, slapping you in the face as soon as you stepped through the door frame.  You walked down some stairs, studying the scene in front of you. Crowds of humans and creatures, some of which you didn’t recognize, sat or stood amongst benches, yelling loudly and banging their fists. You saw some woman sitting besides the men, some looking less impressed by the entertainment than their counterparts and others looking just as engrossed as the others. In the center of the room sat a platform where two Gamorreans were fighting wildly. They were both fearsome creatures with less than desirable faces. They snarled and huffed, though the sound was drowned out by the yelling in several different alien languages that filled the room.

Din strolled over to a bench, seeming unbothered by the scene before him and not in any way distracted by the environment. He plopped down onto a booth, next to a Abyssin you assumed to be the man of the hour, Koresh. He stood out from the crowd, his body draped in richer fabrics and a large ring on one of his chubby green fingers. You sat down next to Din, watching as the child’s pram hovered right beside you.

The Abyssin didn’t seem bothered or intimidated by Din’s presence. He was s gangster, probably used to having bounty hunters around. Probably hired a few himself, perhaps had one or two come after him even. “You know this is no place for a child.” He spoke, his gaze landing on the child and you for just a moment before going back to the fight, his eye glistening with excitement as he appeared totally enamored by the barbaric nature of it.

“Wherever I go, he goes.” You almost wanted to smile at Din’s response. It sounded intimidating coming from him, but you knew the sentiment and honestly behind it. You refrained from doing so, keeping a blank face and trying to keep your gaze on Gor Koresh. You weren’t much for watching fighting, finding it dull and tasteless, though you couldn’t help but to find the banging and rumbling to be distracting.

Koresh just let a chuckle out. “So I’ve heard.”

“I’ve been quested to bring him to his kind. If I can locate other Mandalorians, they can help guide me. I’m told you know where to find them.” You weren’t surprised by Din’s directness or lack of small talk. This was just the kind of man he was, part of it being him and part of it being due to the armor he wore.

The man let out a sigh. “It’s uncouth to talk business immediately. Just enjoy the entertainment.” The creature finally tore his sight away from the fight, giving you a fleeting glance as a smile curved his lips. You knew that smile very well, had seen many men and creatures wear it before. And usually, it didn’t end well for them. “Why don’t you introduce me to your friend? She is quite the beauty.”

You couldn’t help the way your eyebrows raised and face scrunched up in slight disgust. He couldn’t even try to be a little subtle, or at the least more original.. You let out a sigh and looked at him, even though his attention was back on the fight. “How about you just help us?”

Din didn’t turn to look back at you but you saw the way one of his fists clenched. This was his domain and he wasn’t used to others being with him while he worked. And you didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, but you also weren’t going to let this man look at you like that. You wanted to say a lot more, but knew your mouth could get you in trouble and decided to leave it at that.

The Abyssin let out a huff. “Didn’t know you kept women around. Or children too.” The words were directed at Mando, him not bothering to respond to you directly. You wanted to say something but jumped slightly at the sound of loud clanging. The child cooed in distress as you looked at the fight. The two Gamorreans were clanging their axes together, one of which knocking the other to the ground. Cheers rang through the ground but Koresh looked rather annoyed.

“Bah! My Gamorrean’s not doing well. Kill him! Finish him!” An axe was brought down to the fallen warrior, who dodged just in time to avoid the slamming down of the blade.  Koresh smiled just barely at the sight before glancing at Din. “Do you gamble, Mando?”

You couldn’t imagine Din being a gambler. It seemed so unlike him, almost against the ideas he held close to his heart. He wasn’t one to trust luck. He depended on himself and nothing else. “Not when I can avoid it.” He responded.

“What about you, sweetheart? Do you gamble?”

You rolled your eyes at the question. “No. I don’t.”

“I do. Which is why I’m the rich one here.” Koresh responded, letting out a chuckle at his own jab. “How about this? I’ll bet you the information you seek that this Gamorrean’s going to die within the next minute and a half...and all you have to put up in exchange is your shiny beskar armor.”

You felt your eyes widen slightly. You knew Din could handle this creep and you knew that beskar was worth a lot. It was no wonder Koresh wanted it. But you couldn’t imagine Din would be willing to put it on a silly bet based purely on luck. You couldn’t help but to scoff in response. “His armor isn’t on the table.”

Koresh smiled at your harsh response. “Okay. How about we bet the woman then? Wouldn’t mind a new friend.”

Din for the first time looked over at you for just a second, seeing the way your jaw locked. You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was angry by the way he moved. He turned over, looking back at the man. His fist was clenched against his lap but he didn’t bite the bait, just calmly responding. “I’m prepared to pay you for the information. I’m not leaving my fate, or hers, up to chance.”

“Nor am I.” In a flash, his hands reaches into his coat, whipping out a blaster at a surprisingly quick speed. A shot rings out in the building, one of the Gamorreans dropping dead, his axe clanging down beside him. You hear gasps and a cry ring out from the audience at the sudden end of the fight. Your head whips over to Koresh, just in time to see several men rise from the bench behind him, all of them whipping out guns that aim right at Din’s head. You felt your chest squeeze up slightly, panic settling into your bones. But Din just remained seated, even as the crowd yelled and rushed out of the stadium from all directions and Koresh rose from his seat, his own blaster aimed at the helmet. You couldn’t help but to wonder how he could always remain so calm. You felt your hand itch towards the blaster on your hip, but you didn’t know what you would do with it. One blaster against a handful of men, all with their own loaded guns, wasn’t a fair fight by a long shot. Trying to do anything might just get you and Din killed immediately so you waited, seeing how Din handled it.

Koresh laughed at your panicked expression. “Thank you for coming to me. Normally, I have to seek out remnants of you Mandalorians in your hidden hives to harvest your precious shiny shells.” You felt rage bloom within you as you realized what this mans job was, your eyes widening in anger. He made money off ruining people’s lives, ripping the amor that means the world to the Mandalorians off of them with no regard for human decency. No wonder he was so rich. “Beskar’s value continues to rise. I’ve grown quite fond of it. Give it to me now or I will peel it off your corpse. And then take your woman as my new companion.” He chuckled once again, his eyes running down your body with a disgusting smile.

“Tell me where the Mandalorians are and I’ll walk out of here without killing you.“ Din, please, please know what you are doing. You trusted Din and you knew some stories of what he has done, though he never wanted to talk about it too much or seem like he was bragging. Din was an annoyingly humble man and it made it hard to find out just what exactly he was capable of. You knew that he was strong, unnaturally so, and you had seen him in action before. But you hadn’t seen enough to know what he was truly able to do. And you couldn’t help the way your heart slammed in your chest, even upon hearing his confident voice make the demand.

Koresh’s face dropped slightly. “I thought you said you weren’t a gambler...”

That was when you saw it out of the corner of your eye. You had completely forgotten about his whistling birds, him having explained it to you weeks ago when you almost hit a button that triggered it. The child must have also sensed what was about to happen, reaching out quickly to hit the button that closed the lid to the pram, sinking into it before the lid closed.  You figured he had the right idea but you just let your hand hover over the blaster, waiting for the next move. 

“I’m not.” Din said. Suddenly, the whistling birds shot out, instantly hitting all four of the henchmen and causing them to drop immediately to the floor.  You feel Din’s arm reach out, pushing you away, and you brought your own leg up to kick the pram back, already knowing what was going to happen next.

The Gamorrean who had been on the platform recovering, rises up, snarling. You see as he was ready to jump down, onto Din. But Din scoots over to the side, causing the large creature to slam down onto the bench, the wood under him cracking and splitting open. You couldn’t help the laugh that left your lips as you saw him pass out instantly. “Now that was too easy.” You chuckled.

Your hand instantly reaches for your blaster as you look away from the fallen fighter. The Twi’lek from the entrance of the building reached for Din, grabbing him from behind. You rise up the blaster quicker than you ever had before, firing off a shot that hit the guard right in the neck, causing him to release Din and drop down to the ground, joining the others. Three people run after Din as Koresh rushed out of the building, trying to escape while you two were distracted by the fighting. You turned to check on the kid, finding the pram still closed before running towards the exit.

You had just made it out the exit when you heard footsteps charging behind you, to find one of the Zabraks that was attacking Din coming after you now. A  You raised your blaster but found it to be no use when the creature dropped dead before your finger could even pull the trigger, revealing a blade sticking out of his back as he landed face down on the dirty ground. Your head whipped up to find Din behind him, only pausing for a moment to look you over for any damage before charging towards Koresh.

You followed closely behind, only to stumble into his back when the Mandalorian stopped dead in his tracks, your body falling into the metal of his armor and clutching onto his shoulders to steady yourself. In what seemed to be a flash, Koresh had his legs stuck in Din’s grappling hook and his whole body was being lifted up by a street lamp. Din didn’t stop until the mans body was dangling upside down, his head only a few feet above the ground.

Din stepped forward, facing the creature who now looked absolutely terrified. Part of you wanted to laugh at the sight but instead you stepped forward and glared at him. The man started swaying, trying to break out of the hooks with no luck. “All right, stop, stop!” He yelled out, looking at Din. “I’ll tell you where he is. But you must give me your word that you won’t kill me.”

“I promise you will not die by my hand. Now, where is the Mandalorian you know of?“ Your eyebrow raised at the odd wording of Din’s answer until you saw the red eyes that lined the streets start caving in slowly, seeming to stare into the scene before them. My hand, he had said.

Karesh let out a groan. “Tatooine.”

“What?” you and Din both said out-loud and the man just let out another groan, face twisted in discomfort.

“The Mando I know of is on Tatooine.“ he repeated.

“I’ve spent much time on Tatooine. I’ve never seen a Mandalorian there.“ Din responded, tilting his helmet just slightly as if thinking, mulling over in his mind whether or not the man was lying to you. You trusted Din, but Tatooine also seemed like it wouldn’t be the most surprising place for a bounty hunter to be. That planet didn’t have the greatest reputation, lots of sleaze bags and criminals roaming around there from what you heard. Wouldn’t be the most shocking thing for a Mandalorian to be there, whether for work or just because of the environment.

“My information is good, I tell you. The city of Mos Pelgo. I swear it by the Gotra!” Another groan left his lips, even louder this time. You rolled your eyes and looked over at Din.

The Mandalorian stood still before giving you a slight nod. “Tatooine it is, then.”

You brought your hand to your waist to grab the knife strapped to it, preparing to cut the man down when Din’s hand reached out for your wrist, holding it still. You looked up at him, waiting for an explanation but he only stared down at you, shaking his head just the slightest bit. You let go of the handle of the knife, leaving it at your side, and looked back at Koresh who looked back at you two expectantly. You saw the red eyes still there, still glowing in the darkness behind him ominously.

Din let go of your wrist and turned, starting to walk down the street with the pram following behind him. Part of you felt like you should cut down the gangster, until you remembered how he made his living. Ruining the lives of other Mandalorians just for some beskar to make him a richer man that he already is. Instead of cutting him, you gave him the sweetest smile you could muster to which his face scrunched up in confusion. “Koresh, it was a pleasure meeting you.”

You began to walk away, following after Din who slowed his pace for you to catch up when the Abyssin started to thrash wildly, panic settling into every pore of his body. “Wait! You can’t leave me like this!”

You turned back one last time and glared at him. “And you can’t take off a Mandalorians helmet. Yet you did. Many times.”

The man continued to scream, the red eyes caving in on him as you looked back at Din, catching up with him. You heard begging and screaming from behind you, but drowned it out. Part of you felt like you should feel guilty. But he had threatened Din. Ruined lives for money.

There was no guilt, no sadness at what was happening in this very moment. Instead you just felt like your body was energized, the adrenaline from the fight still coursing through you. You had spent so much time now on the Crest with Din, and before that you were just on Yungbrii. You had to fight off a couple creeps here and there, but nothing like that. Nothing that made blood course through your body and your heart pound in your ears. You found you could understand why some people found this addicting, why some people chose to be bounty hunters. It was thrilling in a way you’d never felt before.

You glanced over at Din, studying him. He looked completely unbothered and maybe that was because you couldn’t see his face, but you had a feeling the grizzly attack behind him brought him no sense of upset or guilt. You imagined he felt what you were feeling but ten times stronger. The Mandalorians were his people, his clan, and they had been attacked by the selfish monster. You couldn’t help but to wonder if he had any attention of letting Koresh go, even if he hadn’t attacked the two of you.

Shaking away your thoughts, you spoke loudly over the noises behind you which were now slowly drowning away as you continued on. “Where are we headed now?”

“Tatooine.” he responded and you nodded. You supposed it was the right place to start, even if Din didn’t know of any Mandalorians there. “You are okay, right? Nothing is hurt?”

You couldn’t help the small smile that grew on your face at the way his tone softened, the way his whole figure relaxed. You found it amazing how he could change from bad-ass, killer Mandalorian to your soft, caring Din so quickly.

“Yeah. I am fine. You okay?” Din only nodded in response. You looked away from him, to the path in front of you before speaking again. “You know, I have to admit something.”

Din continued walking, staring into the environment around him. “What, cyar’ika?”

“I don’t know if this sounds bad, but that was kind of fun.” You smiled up at him.

Din stopped walking for just a moment, looking over at you and you could hear a chuckle pass through the modulator. “You did well.”

You winked at him before continuing to walk on, the Mandalorians boots crunching behind you as he followed. “Told you I was handy. Now let’s go find this Mandalorian.”

Tag List: @ilikethoseodds @dindaddy @poguesvixen @starspangledwidow @fangirlalexia @the-scandalorian @ka-x-in @keepcalmandblogstuff @the-lady-of-stars @orneryscandalousevil @spaghetti-666 @afootnoteinyourhappiness @the-darkempress @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @dee-vn @eury-dice3 @rb4writers @just-me-and-my-obsessions00 @lxdyred @queen-since-97 @honey-hi @periptil

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin imagine #din djarin x female reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian season 2 spoilers #the mandalorian season 2 #the mandalorian imagine #sw #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanfic #star wars imagine #star wars #the mandalorian chapter nine

[thesleepysphinx]

Tokoyami x (fem)Reader - Agoraphobic pt. 2: Quoth the raven

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Quoth the raven, nevermore

- Edgar Allan Poe

You stood at the door of Tokoyami’s room, clutching the book in your hands in anxiety. You remembered the day everyone looked at each other’s rooms and how Tokoyami was greatly embarrassed about his. Is it okay for me to knock on his door? But if I don’t, how do I return the book? Will he be upset that someone’s at his door?

Your mind raced with questions, but you pushed them down with a deep breath. You knocked on Tokoyami’s door and waited for all of two seconds before it cracked open. You could see only a sliver of Tokoyami, as he opened the door just enough for you to see most of his face. For a moment, you forgot why you were there, that is until Tokoyami glanced down to see his book in your hands.

“Oh, thank you, (y/n), I didn’t realize I’d forgotten it,” he spoke as he moved his eyes back up to face you. There was a certain softness to his expression that you couldn’t quite pick out because of the feathers.

You held the book out with both hands. “It’s no problem! I forgot I was still holding it to be honest.”

He reached for the book and brushed your fingers with his as he grabbed it. You quickly let go and clasped your hands behind your back, trying not the blush at the accidental contact. His fingers were warm and somewhat rough, but not too rough. You didn’t know why you were so embarrassed deep inside about the contact. You hadn’t really spoken to Tokoyami much until today, so why were you so damn nervous around him now?

Tokoyami’s eyes stayed trained on the book as he kept it in front of him. His eyes still didn’t move as he began to speak again. “I apologize for leaving so abruptly. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

You were taken aback by his apology, as you didn’t really expect one in the first place. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you responded, “Oh, no, it’s fine! I know you don’t really like being around a lot of noisy people. I promise I didn’t take it personally!” You beamed a smile at him as reassurance.

Tokoyami in all honesty didn’t know how to respond. Just like you, he was taken aback, but he was taken aback by your understanding and sincerity. In his experience, most people would tell him to go back downstairs because socializing would be “good for him.” He tended to disagree with them. But here you were, agreeing with him before he even got a chance to tell you his perspective. It was more than refreshing.

Tokoyami raised his eyes to look at you again. “Thank you… Both for returning the book and for your understanding.” He felt an intense admiration for you that was not there before that morning.

You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment. “Yeah, like I said, no problem!” You left your hand to linger on the back of your neck as a sudden silence overcame the both of you. As the silence persisted, you could not shake the feeling that you needed to spend more time with Tokoyami. You had an idea, but you didn’t know if it would be too uncomfortable for Tokoyami. But, you thought it was worth a shot.

“Y’know, I’m having a movie marathon with Hagakure and Ojiro later today. If you want, it’d be nice if you came too!”

Tokoyami’s feathers started ruffling as you spoke while you started to feel more embarrassed. But it was too late to back out now.

“It’s just that they get super flirty, and I’d rather not third-wheel.” You started to feel like you were pressuring him. “But don’t feel obligated! I just thought you might enjoy it. We could maybe critique the movies afterwards, like we did with Pride and Prejudice!” You rubbed the crook of your arm in embarrassment, hoping he wasn’t picking up too much on the blood rushing to your face.

Tokoyami’s grip on the book tightened as he watched you. He prayed to whatever god was listening that the ruffling of his feathers was not too noticeable. He, of all people, was being invited to marathon movies? With you? Yes, you said it was because you didn’t want to third-wheel, but at this point, Tokoyami would accept any time he could spend with you. He was becoming infatuated.

You didn’t quite expect Tokoyami’s answer. “That sounds like quite a good time, actually.” His grip tightened even more. “I hope I would not be intruding.”

You laughed at his last comment. “I don’t think it’s intruding if you’re invited, Tokoyami-kun!”

Tokoyami’s feathers ruffled once again at how you called him. He felt his breath hitch in his throat as he struggled to respond, but he didn’t have to as you kept talking.

“We won’t start for a bit, so I could text you when we’re about to start if that’s okay with you!” You beamed your smile at him, feeling a bit more confident and comfortable.

But now, it was Tokoyami’s turn to be bold.

“Actually… If you don’t mind, I would like to continue our conversation from before…” He started feeling flustered as he continued. “But, I understand if you have other engagements.”

Your cheeks heated up at his suggestion, but again, his last sentence made you giggle. “I don’t have any engagements before the movie marathon.” You let out another giggle.

Tokoyami adored the giggle as it escaped your lips. It was almost as mesmerizing as your humming earlier.

Heat continued to rush to your cheeks as you kept talking. “I’m assuming you don’t want to go back downstairs for the conversation, so…”

Tokoyami understood what you were trying to say, or rather ask, as he responds, “We can sit in my room, if you’re alright with that, that is.”

You felt your heart beat faster at his suggestion. You were just worrying about him being embarrassed by his room, but here he was inviting you in!

“Are you sure? I know last time we all saw your room you weren’t really comfortable with it…”

Tokoyami opened his door all the way to show the entirety of himself and his room. “It’s much more comfortable if it’s just one person…” He looked off to the side a bit as he considered what he wanted to say. And you’re one person I feel very comfortable with. But, he didn’t want to be too forward with you. He retreated into the room, tinted purple by his mood lighting. He took a seat on his bed as he busied himself with the cover of his book, too anxious about looking back in your direction.

You took a step into the room, getting a better look at it than you did when you first moved in. Back then, Tokoyami had stood in front of the door, trying to block anyone from seeing it. But now, he left the door open. For you.

You find your voice as you ask, “Would you like the door closed?” You asked out of respect for his privacy, but the thought of being alone with him behind closed doors was flustering.

Tokoyami glanced up at you, his eyes shining despite the minimal light. “Ah, yes, please. If you don’t mind.”

You gently closed the door behind you as you kept surveying the aesthetic of the room. “I’m surprised you don’t have a bust in here for the sake of irony.” You laughed at your comment.

“I’m not sure I follow…”

You walked towards an arrangement of books, surveying the titles, as you explained, “The Raven by Poe. I just felt you’d be the kind to find irony in it, since… you know.” You gestured towards his head.

Tokoyami felt his eyes widen and his feathers ruffle once more, hoping the darkness hid the ruffling enough. You knew Poe? He was so pleasantly surprised that he couldn’t comment on your suggestion of a bust.

“I was not aware that you knew Poe.” He took a moment to think. “Though, I probably shouldn’t be surprised. His works are classics themselves.”

“I’d like to think I’m well-read anyways…” You took a seat in Tokoyami’s desk chair that seemed more like a throne than anything else. “Favorite work from him?”

Tokoyami was caught off guard by the question. He didn’t expect you to be so interested in his own interests. He took a hand from his book and held a finger under his beak in thought. No one had ever asked his favorite work by Poe, so he had never had to consider it before. But after a few moments to mull it over, he responds, “The Masque of the Red Death.”

You were surprised by this, but didn’t know why. Maybe you just expected something different. You pulled your feet up onto the chair to hug your knees. “Any particular reason?”

Tokoyami took a breath, keeping his eyes trained on the book in his hands before explaining. “Many that Poe loved were taken by disease. I think he wrote it based on his own experience.” He paused and met your gaze. “Money cannot save you from something that has no use for it.”

You smiled at the philosophical statement. “Quoth the raven.”

Tokoyami closed his eyes and smiled lightly back at you. “It seems you’re not letting go of The Raven. Is that your favorite?”

You took a moment to ponder yourself, but came up with an answer quicker than Tokoyami did. “The Tell-Tale Heart.”

“Ah, yes, that one is brilliant. What is your reasoning for it?”

“Well, I think it has a pretty cool message. No matter how hard you try to hide something, you have to tell the truth eventually.” You felt this message sink into your skin as you spoke it. It sank into Tokoyami’s as well.

Tokoyami pondered the message. “He was trying to hide a murder. Do you think that applies in the real world?”

“If it didn’t apply in the real world, then how would Poe have written about it?”

That question gripped Tokoyami’s heart fiercely. He had never really had anyone to discuss literature with, but here you were, not only discussing it, but analyzing it. Applying it. He had never felt a connection stronger. It took much will power for Tokoyami to calm his heart and come back down to earth. But once he did, he came up with another idea.

“Have you ever read The Black Cat?” Tokoyami questioned you.

You tilted your head in interest. “I don’t think so, but it sounds familiar!” You beamed a smile at him again.

Tokoyami smiled back as he got up from his bed and strode over to his row of books beside you. He replaced Pride and Prejudice in its spot then reached for a book that appeared to be an anthology of all of Poe’s works. He would be the one to have all of his works on hand you thought to yourself. How cute…

He leaned back against his desk, and you got the opportunity to fully observe his side profile. Even under his baggy hoodie, you could tell his body was lean. But you also knew from training that he had toned muscle to go with it. You knew only from the few times Tokoyami pulled back his cloak. He didn’t show off his physique as many of the other boys did. He was much more… reserved.

Tokoyami leafed through the book after a quick glance at the table of contents before landing on a precise page. Upon finding it, he held the book out for you to take. Once you did, he placed his hands behind him on the surface of the desk and asked, “Does the prose look familiar to you?”

You read the first few sentences just to be sure. “It doesn’t, I must have missed this one…” You read a couple more sentences, your curiosity piquing. You looked up from the page back at him. “Now I really have to read it… Would you mind if I borrowed the book?”

Tokoyami felt his heartbeat quicken at the proposition. You wanted to borrow a book from him? He was overjoyed, feeling a smile creep onto his face. The happiness fueled another suggestion of his. “I could read it out loud, if you don’t mind. It’s my second favorite and I would like to read it again.”

A blush formed on your cheeks at his counter-proposal, though he couldn’t see it in the darkness. No one had ever read anything to you except your parents when you were a toddler. The only person who really read to you was you. But now here was Tokoyami with his soft smile, deep voice, and intellectual perspective offering to read to you. You couldn’t say no.

“I don’t mind at all!” you said almost too eagerly. You covered it up with, “You probably have the best voice for reading Poe.” You felt more embarrassed by the addition than the original agreement.

Tokoyami’s smile merely increased with the compliment. Sure, that wouldn’t be considered a compliment to most, but it meant the world to Tokoyami. It meant the world that someone else he knew shared his interests. And because of this, because of you, his anxieties were melting away.

He gently took the book back from your hands, though this time his fingers didn’t brush yours. Oh, how you wish they had. But instead, you hugged your knees closer to your chest as Tokoyami began to read. You had been right in thinking he had the best voice for reading Poe, for as he began, you felt drawn in by his voice as it mixed with the light patter of the rain. The intricate words rolled off his tongue as if they were meant to. Gradually, he lowered himself to sit on the ground to be more comfortable as he read. In turn, you closed your eyes and tilted your head to the side so that you could focus on his words. You had never felt so comfortable with someone else before. With your eyes closed, you started to pick up the aroma of the room. The air smelled of burnt and burning candles and faintly of apple pie. They made you sink further into the chair you sat upon, enveloping you just as Tokoyami’s voice was. But as Tokoyami got halfway through the short story, a ding sounded from your phone.

Hagakure 11:23am

Where'd you go? We’re starting soon!! Get over here!!

Masterlist ⁘ Next

Let me know what you guys are thinking so far! I'm gonna keep it really slow-burn, probably to the point where everyone will get frustrated! Stay tuned :)

#mha #mha x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #tokoyami x reader #tokoyami #fumikage tokoyami #boku no hero academia #fumikage #agoraphobic #bnha fluff #fanfic #mha fanfiction #my hero academia #my hero x reader #x reader #mha fluff #edgar allan poe

[haikyuu-appreciation-club]

Hiii love💞, could I request a kurro x reader based on the song "sometimes" by "Chelsea Cutler?" It's a beautiful song, and I would love to see how you write it out!! Thank you, and I can't wait smto see what you make out of it!!!

•Sometimes•

Kuroo x Reader

warnings: a few curse words + mentions of depression, mental health issues, suicidal thoughts + trust issues

genre: angst to fluff + comfort

word count: 2.2k

hey sweetheart!! 

I really adore this request, it’s different then anything I've done before and I'm excited to get to turn my interpretation of this song into a fic

my interpretation of this song is that its in the perspective of a person that has depression and it’s consuming them. It constantly comes and goes and affects the way they are in a relationship. they feel as though they are unable to be loved and they have a hard time trusting that their partner actually cares for them due to this added baggage they have. 

ik the actual meaning of the song is different but I'm writing based off of that :)

this is a very beautiful song and I hope I bring it justice 

enjoy <3

(TRIGGERS BELOW)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(TW DEPRESSION, TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, TW MENTAL HEALTH, TW TRUST ISSUES)

You used to enjoy the early morning hours. The way the sun would peer through your partially open blinds, casting rows of golden hues across your walls. The taste of flavorful coffee flowing down your throat, bringing you to your senses. Even the noise of cars passing by brought you a source of peace as you got ready for your day.

Overtime, mornings grew bitter. The sunlight became a nuisance, causing you to bury yourself deeper in your covers. You no longer had to energy to get up and make yourself a cup of coffee and the hum of the car engines just reminded you of the dreaded day ahead. 

Honestly, you can't recall when the beautiful colors of this world had faded from your view.

Although you had grown accustomed to these emotions, they weren't always dominating your life. They came and went in waves, allowing brief moments of happiness to creep through. On one of those special occasions, the universe brought Kuroo into your life.

Meeting him felt like coming up for your first breath of air after a long swim. He wasn't a complete stranger but you had been too encased in your thoughts to ever go out of your way to talk with him. Luckily, he made the effort to reach out and the two of you clicked right away. You had thought things were finally looking up for you, crawling your way out of the slump you had constantly been dragged in and out of. You saw this as your time to collect the broken pieces of yourself and start over with Kuroo, but those thoughts were soon deemed trivial. After a while, your depression had hauled you back into the darkness, stripping you from any ounce of joy you had left. Kuroo had kept you afloat for longer than anyone has ever had, and maybe that’s why you allowed yourself to indulge in wishful thinking. You should have known better though, you were broken repair and it was no ones job to fix you.

Although you never opened up about your struggles to Kuroo, he wasn't completely oblivious to the situation. He had noticed your change in attitude straight away. The way you would shy away from any social situations, silently begging him to just stay inside and cuddle on the couch. The way you would take two or three bites of dinner and lazily claim you were full. The way the things you loved to do, didn't seem to peak your interest anymore. Even the way your sleeping patterns had shifted, either feeling you toss and turn in the middle of the night or finding you still sleeping in at four in the afternoon. 

Kuroo was confused to say the least, this demeanor was so new to him and he didn’t know what to do. You seemed so hollow, as if you were a shell of your former self. It broke Kuroo’s heart to see you in such a state and he wanted to help you, he just had no clue how.

You weren’t the type of person to lay all of your emotions out on the table, Kuroo knew that much. So, he didn't want to force things out of you or do anything to make you shy away from him more then you already had. He wanted to be able to handle this situation in a way you both were comfortable with. So, he took his time observing your behavior and researching the things he noticed. 

Soon enough, his hunch that you had been entrapped in a depressive state had been confirmed. All of your actions and new found mannerisms had lined up with the symptoms almost perfectly. Now he just had to find a way to approach you about your current situation.

Things on your part were growing worse with each passing day. You were exhausted, as if all the energy had been drained from your body. The motivation to even get out of bed had been snatched away. You were at the point where you just felt like giving up. There was no point in trying anymore and you had discovered living to be so tiring. The only thing keeping you going was Kuroo, and you felt oddly selfish for that. 

Kuroo had always made it a point to care for you and be by your side with everything throughout your relationship, but why should he? Did he not realize how damaged you were? As if you were a surgery gone wrong and no one could find the source of the bleed. You loved Kuroo with all your heart but knowing how much trouble you had already caused and how much was waiting to ensue tugged at your chest.

Thoughts continued to swim in your head while you lied in your bed, curled up with your knees to your chest as you stared at the empty wall. You couldn’t recall how long you’d been lying there. Time seemed to fade away recently, the minutes, hours, and days blended together. Honestly, you couldn’t care less. Opening your eyes had been dubbed a difficult task so getting ready for the day had been out of the question for quite a while. Lying in bed all day had become so familiar to you, you were no longer content with anything else.

A creak came from the opposite side of your bedroom as the door leading in softly swung open. Your eyes darted in the direction of the noise but you didn’t move a muscle as light footsteps approached the bed. You knew who it was but you couldn’t bring yourself to greet them, it was too much effort on your part.

The second Kuroo had walked through the door he had taken notice of your disheveled state. He had been unable to see you for the past few days due to a family event that had been planned.

He invited you to come along but you refused, seeing you didn’t want to ruin the mood and you didn’t have the energy to put up a front for that long. Kuroo didn’t want to leave you by yourself but you insisted that he went and spend time with his loved ones. So, reluctantly, he bid you farewell and went on his way. The two of you kept in touch through text messages which helped to sooth his nerves a smidge, but soon enough your replies grew shorter and popped up on his screen less often until they stopped appearing at all. Panic conquered his mind and he booked the first flight home to you. 

There was a dip in your bed as Kuroo sat at your side. A small part of you wanted to hug him but you stayed stiff as a board, expression unwavering. You felt a hand gently sit atop your thigh as small circles were rubbed into your warm skin,

“Hey babe.”

You wanted to answer him, you really did, but only silence hung over the room following his warm greeting,

“I know you’ve been going through a lot lately, do you mind if i help you out a little bit?”

A small nod was given, insinuating that he had your permission to continue with whatever he had planned, not as if you had the strength to disagree.

You felt the covers lightly being drawn off of your body, allowing the cool air to dance against your skin. Kuroo swiped at the hairs that had invaded your vision and placed a chaste kiss to your forehead before scooping you up. You fell limp in his hold, turning towards him and hiding your face in his chest. 

Kuroo carried you to your bathroom and seated you on the counter. He watched as your eyes stayed glued to your feet, as if a weight had been attached to your neck. Although his heart ached at the sight, you were hurting more than he was right now. Grabbing your toothbrush and toothpaste off the counter, he placed a hand on your jaw and began to brush your teeth. 

He continued to tend to your daily tasks, those of which you had been neglecting since he last saw you. He brushed out your hair, bathed you, and dressed you in clean clothes. 

As you sat on the bathroom floor, allowing you hair to air dry, Kuroo carried on. He had changed your bedding, throwing your old sheets into the washer and pulling fresh ones from the cabinet. He also walked around your room, picking up trash and putting things where they belonged. He had even made it a point to peel away your blinds and open your window, allowing the outside world to finally reach you after what felt like an eternity.

You couldn't understand why he was doing all this, he should leave you while he had the chance. Hell, you would've left a long time ago. So why didn’t he? 

The door of the bathroom was pushed open once more, interrupting your thoughts. Kuroo crouched down in front of you. Although your appearance had returned to it’s prior state, your eyes still held a sorrowful glow,

“I’m gonna bring you back to the bed, is that alright?”

You nodded once more, allowing him return you to your area of origin. 

As you lied on your back, staring at the celling, Kuroo timidly slid down next to you. His body had turned towards you as he wrapped his arm around your midsection, the other tucked behind his head. 

Kuroo may not let you see it, but he was beyond nervous. He was anxious he wasn't doing or saying anything right and the last thing he wanted was to make you feel worse than you already did. Despite this, he knew he had to bring this situation into the light somehow. Even if you shied away from the subject or the conversation ran short,

“I’m sorry Y/N. I know your mind has put you though hell and back. I might not be able to understand it but you aren’t alone, okay? You’re so important to me and no matter what, I'll be right here by your side. And don’t push yourself to let me in, I'm here when you’re ready.” Those words had cleared something from you mind and finally allowed you to feel. Not even realizing it, a tear slipped down your cheek. Then two, and three, until you were choking on sobs. Your hand had found the front of Kuroo’s shirt as you cried into his chest. Everything that had been stored away had finally found it’s way to the surface. 

Kuroo held you in his tight embrace, placing soft kisses on the top of your head as you broke down. He didn’t mind the damp shirt or the feeling in his arms disappearing, all he was focused on was you. 

After a while, he felt your voice vibrate against his chest,

“Hm? Sorry baby, I didn’t catch that.”

Your voice had been muffled by the cloth pressed against your face. So, you pulled away from his grasp, finally looking him in the eyes for the first time since he set foot in your home,

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you.”

Your mind drew a blank, was his answer to your question that simple?

“What?”

“Because I am in love with you,” he cupped your cheek and gave you a soft smile, “I am completely in love with every single thing about you Y/N, the good and the bad. I love it all because at the end of the day, It’s still you who’s by my side.”

You felt a tug at your heart as he gently pulled you into a kiss. You slowly returned the gesture, relishing in the feeling of his lips on yours. You hadn't realized how much you had distanced yourself from the man you loved until this very moment. Your depression had lead you to reject the fact that your boyfriend actually cared about you, making you shy away from him as a whole. 

As the two of you pulled apart your mind granted your body permission to pull your boyfriend into your embrace, another sensation you had deeply missed. You sunk your face into the crook of his neck and breathed in the sent of his cologne.

The two of you stayed that way for a while, allowing yourselves to become familiar with each other’s touch once more.  

Soon enough, you had grown tired due to your fit of tears earlier and began to slip in and out of consciousness. Taking notice of this, Kuroo pulled you down until you were both lying side by side. Your body had found his once more as you snuggled into his side,

“I love you Kuroo.”

“I love you more Y/N.”

There was much to be discussed but that could wait until the morning. For now, all that was important to Kuroo was being by your side, where he loved to be.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu oneshots #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyu x y/n #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu angst to fluff #kuroo #kuroo testuro #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo oneshot #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo angst #kuroo fluff #kuroo comfort #kuroo angst to fluff #nekoma x reader #haikyuu x yn #hq x reader #hq comfort #kuroo x reader comfort #haikyuu requests #kuroo x reader fluff #haikyuu imagines

[louistomlinsoncouk]

While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, and his girlfriend, the model Eleanor Calder.

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time to see his four-year-old son, Freddie, whom he shares with his ex Briana Jungwirth, a stylist. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#louis tomlinson #24nov20

[drabbles-of-writing]

We’re Soarin’, Flying

This is part of my Wing AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Amity! Hey, Amity! Amity!”

Luz swooped from the top of one of the lockers, flaring her wings to slow herself down as she skidded to a stop by the girl, nearly knocking into her.

Amity jumped, her wings twitching ever so slightly before she relaxed into a smile, side-stepping to avoid Luz’s flailing wings.

“Hey, Luz.”

“Sorry about the drop in,” Luz said sheepishly, her wings scrunching up over her shoulders as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve been trying to find you all day, but, ah, all my classes were practically on the other side of school.”

Amity’s ears perked slightly in curiosity. She let Luz continue rambling as she placed the last of her books in her lockers, far more relaxed than how she had been earlier.

“So, I actually have an idea for us! You said you weren’t busy today, right?” Luz asked, clearly straining to not stand so close to Amity as to avoid hitting her with her wings that refused to sit still.

“No…” Amity said slowly, shutting her locker and glanced at Luz with sudden interest. “What were you thinking of?” She said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“You’re gonna love it!” Luz smiled, grabbing her wrist with both hands and beginning to tug her along. “It’s just a little off from where we fought Grometheus, remember?”

“It was only a few days ago, Luz.” Amity said, a faint blush on her cheeks as she was pulled along. “What’s this about?”

“So, I was talking with Willow and Gus,” Luz said, flapping her wings on occasion to speed up their movement. “And I felt bad that you can’t fl--”

Amity stiffened and suddenly seized forward, slapping her hand over Luz’s mouth. Only then did the human stop.

Amity looked around fearfully, though since it was the end of the day, nobody was really paying attention. The only students still in the building were too busy making their ways to the exit.

“Luz!” Amity hissed, slowly taking her hand away.

“Right, sorry, private subject, I forgot.” Luz said sheepishly, her wings drooping slightly. “But that’s the point of this outing! It’s to help you with that little dilemma.” 

Amity blinked at her in confusion. Luz’s wings were already twitching again as she was hurrying towards the exit, once again, pulling the kestrel along.

Then Luz saw her expression of realization.

“No, no, no no no,” Amity said, digging her heels in, but it was useless against the tile and the unstoppable force known as Luz. “No, bad idea, we’re not doing this.”

“Yes, yes, yes we are!” Luz said, giving Amity a wide grin and beating her wings as they came out of the school. “You said you couldn’t, you know, do the thing, during our fight with Grometheus, and I have made it my mission to help you.”

“You really don’t have to,” Amity shook her head, still half-heartedly struggling as Luz dragged her to the bottom of the steps, where Willow and Gus were waiting.

“Too bad, I’m doing it anyway.” Luz said, finally stopping by her friends, her wings practically vibrating.

“Please tell me you’re here to try and be the voice of reason,” Amity begged, turning to Willow leaning against the stone by the steps.

“I am,” Willow nodded, and Amity visibly relaxed. “And my voice of reason says that you need to learn how to use those wings.” She said firmly, crossing her arms.

Amity groaned and hung her head, defeated. Luz was too giddy with excitement to bother with a sympathetic pat on the back.

“And it would be interesting to document,” Gus added. “I mean, not a lot of people write down or talk about what happens to wings when they aren’t used in flight for years on end. It could be enlightening!”

“You better keep that completely anonymous.” Amity warned, pointing a threatening finger at the boy. “No names, no locations, no mentions of species, anything.”

“All my research is one hundred percent confidential.” Gus said, raising a hand. “It’ll remain personal for a long time, anyway.”

“Keep it that way,”

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Luz said, flapping her wings widely and jumping around her friends. “We only have so much light left!” “We have at least a few hours,” Amity pointed out.

“And those precious hours are being wasted,” Luz whined, her wings hanging loosely at her sides. “Come on, come on!” She said, grabbing Amity’s hand with both of hers and already tugging her along.

“Looks like the natural disaster has truly begun,” Gus sighed, hurrying after the two as Luz pulled them along.

“Oh, just you wait.” Willow mumbled.

,

“Okay, so!” Luz stood in front of Amity, the cliff behind her. “What do you know about flying?”

“Uh,” Amity blinked, glancing back at Willow and Gus, who were sitting on the sidelines of the clearing. “I know you need to...flap your wings a lot?”

“Alright, not a bad start.” Luz said, her wings half-open as she scrunched her face in thought. “Do you know how to take off?”

“I just need to jump and flap my wings, right?” Amity said. “Then, I dunno, catch a draft of air?”

Luz pressed her mouth into a thin line, mildly concerned.

“How about we just take a look at those wings first?” She said, doing her best to give a reassuring smile.

Luz spread her own wings to their full length, then gestured for Amity to do the same. The witch swallowed and slowly unfurled her wings from her shoulders.

They sagged a bit, the tips of her feathers brushing the grass. The first thing Amity noticed was that, in comparison to her own, Luz’s wings were tiny. Amity’s wings were narrow and meant for speed. Whereas Luz’s were wider, the feathers and patagium thinner, and practically shrank when put in front of the kestrels.

Which was an odd realization, Amity thought. Her wings were nowhere near big, and barely even normal-sized. She supposed it put into perspective just how...fragile Luz was in this world.

“Not bad, not bad,” Luz hummed, her wings arching as she walked in a circle around Amity, peering at her wings.

Luz reached forward and touched Amity’s left wing. Amity startled and jerked her wing back.

“Sorry, sorry!” Luz raised her hands quickly and stepped away. “Wing sensitivity, my bad.” She said shyly.

“N-no, it’s fine,” Amity mumbled, slowly stretching out her wing again and ignoring Willow and Gus’s snickers behind her. “Just surprised me, that’s all.”

Luz flicked her tail and reached forward again, glancing at Amity. At her nod, she drew her hands underneath Amity’s wing and lifted it higher.

Amity resisted the urge to shutter at the touch and instead did her best to hold her wing at the height Luz lifted it to.

Once Luz was satisfied, she hurried to Amity’s other wing and did the same, until they were raised just above her shoulders and back in a take-off position.

“Try moving them,” Luz said, backing up to stand in front of Amity again. “Like this,”

She began beating her wings, slowly at first, but soon became rapid. It created a small gust of wind that ruffled Amity’s hair and feathers, and even rose Luz off the ground a few inches before she stopped and dropped back down.

Amity shuffled her feet and stretched her wings back further, feeling small pops in her muscles at being stretched. She beat them forward, and mid-movement, the bones on her wings let out a sickening crack.

Really, it was only the type of crack that your bones give in the morning when you wake up and haven’t moved for a while. But nevertheless, it was loud, and it was disturbing, to say the least.

Luz instantly cringed back, wincing at the sound. Willow did the same as Gus self-consciously drew his wings closer.

Amity paused, her wings halfway hanging in front of her as she gave a nervous smile.

“It’s, uh, been a while.” She mumbled.

“I can tell,” Luz nodded. “Just, erm, stretch them out.”

Amity nodded and slowly beat her wings back and forth, wincing at every strain and crack her wings gave, not used to being moved. Luz was disturbed by every noise she heard, and Amity didn’t blame her.

Eventually, her wings stopped making sickening noises, and she began to speed up her flapping. Luz perked up and her own wings started to beat in excitement.

“Don’t forget the tail!” Luz added above the wind being created by Amity’s flapping.

Amity spread her tail and increased the power, despite already starting to feel fatigued.

She felt her feet begin to lift slightly and she held the speed her wings were at. Luz bounced on her heels in excitement and stepped back.

Amity rose a few inches in the air, causing Willow and Gus’s interest to grow. 

A spike of pain shot through Amity’s right wing and she dropped with a yelp, her wings laying on the grass as she landed on her side.

“Are you okay?” Luz worried, hurrying over and dropping to her knees. 

“M’fine,” Amity mumbled, raising her head and giving a smile as Willow rushed over. “Just a cramp, I think.”

“Probably from not using your wings for a while,” Willow said, both her and Luz helping Amity to her feet.

“Maybe we should just work on wing exercises today,” Luz hummed, glancing back at Amity’s wings, which were loosely dragging on the ground. “It’s probably not easy on your wings to start flying after going unused for years.”

“No, no, I can do it.” Amity shook her head, raising her wings to her sides.

“Someone had a change of heart,” Willow murmured, stepping away and fluttering her wings.

“Zip it,” Amity grumbled, her ears pressing back.

“Are you sure?” Luz worried, her tail flicking. “I thought this would only take a few days, but if it hurts, it might take longer…” She said, running a hand through her hair.

“I’m fine, really.” Amity insisted. “I wanna try again.”

Luz seemed unsure, but nodded. She stepped back and let Amity stretch out her wings again. Willow wandered back to Gus but stayed standing, her wings buzzing every now and again.

Amity beat her wings once more, testing them out. Luz circled her in half-flutters as she did so, her tail twitching nonstop.

Amity soon rose off the ground again, feeling a heavy strain in her wings and creeping pain. She ignored it and held her position a few inches in the air. Luz started grinning and chirped, flying a little ways above her in encouragement.

“Come on, let’s see if we can get you airborne!” Luz said, giving Willow and Gus thumbs up.

Amity felt a swell in her chest and beat her wings faster, trying to angle properly and push herself in the air.

The second she tried to fly up instead of hovering, however, was when her wings suddenly felt like thorn-covered chains had suddenly wrapped around them.

A strained cry escaped Amity and her wings cramped up. She hit the ground harder than she thought and was winded momentarily, letting out a wheezing breath of air.

She was subconsciously aware of Luz landing and her friends surrounding her, asking questions that blurred together. Her vision was fuzzy and she tried to blink it away, shutting her eyes like that would combat the pain her wings were in.

It truly felt like a sharp string was contracting around them at different levels, and she was reminded of those awful binding straps her parents made her try out that wouldn’t let her wings move an inch.

She tried to mumble that she was fine and attempted to push herself upright. Her wings started to automatically move to fold regally over her back as they had been for all these years, and the muscles in not only her wings but shoulders and back cried in protest, causing her to whimper and collapse again.

She was aware of the flash of speckled brown wings covering her before she let her head thump on the ground and her eyes shut.

,

“Day three of flight training,” Gus mumbled, walking along the large branch as he tapped his pencil on his notebook. “Luz has decided to try moving through the trees to build up Amity’s wing muscle-mass. It's…” He paused, frowning.

“Not going too well,”

“I can hear you!”

Amity hopped to the next closest branch, stumbling before clinging to the trunk of the tree, her wings curled tightly at her sides. Willow landed on the same branch, giving her a pitying look.

“This is ridiculous,” Amity grumbled under her breath, looking off the branch to the ground spiraling below. “The kid with baby fluff is better than me.”

“I’m writing that down!” Gus called from his branch, angrily scribbling in his notebook.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just had more...exercise with his wings.” Willow said, hovering a few feet away as Amity peeled herself off the trunk and sheepishly stepped to the next branch.

“If it makes you feel any better, Luz still has a bit of fluff.” She offered.

“She does?” Amity instantly perked up, missing her branch and slipping off.

Thankfully, she managed to scramble and grab onto the branch, her lower half hanging off as she clinged to the thicker branch for dear life, her wings still tightly around her sides as she tried to pull herself up.

“Hey, Amity!”

Luz zoomed right on by, pausing for a moment to perch on a thinner branch above the witch, making her pause and look up.

“The point is to, uh, use your wings.” She said, ruffling her own. “Just try gliding! Or moving them when going from branch-to-branch.”

“I’d rather not fall out of the tree, thank you.” Amity grumbled, struggling to pull herself up as Willow watched with mild concern.

“Psh, you won’t fall. We’re high enough that you’d hit a branch that’d stop your fall...eventually.” Luz shrugged.

“You’re terrible at reassurance,” Willow deadpanned.

“Tell you what,” Amity said, laying her chin on the branch. “I’ll give it a shot. But I’m starting slow.”

“I can work with that!” Luz said cheerfully, her wings raising. “Hey, Gus! Race ya!” She called, hopping off the branch.

“Wha--wait! I wasn’t ready!” The nuthatch cried, fluttering after her.

Amity watched Luz fly off, stopping on branches occasionally to laugh and tease Gus. Her wings were constantly moving this way and that, and not for the first time, Amity wondered if Luz’s wings were really as fragile as they looked.

Willow cleared her throat and Amity jerked her head up, catching the hummingbirds smile with a raised brow.

“What?” Amity growled, finally managing to pull herself up onto her branch and trying to steady herself.

“I didn’t say anything,” Willow said simply, landing on a branch next to Amity’s. “Just that...you’re awfully more open recently, that’s all.”

“Luz has that impact on people,” Amity said stiffly, half-opening her wings and debating if the five foot jump to the next branch was worth it.

“Of course,” Willow said calmly.

Amity jumped to the next branch, her wings spread to balance her. She floundered for a moment before shooting out both of her wings, keeping herself from falling off.

Amity let out a breath of relief and lowered her wings slightly, but kept them open. She looked down the line of trees again, spotting Luz darting around the bigger trunks and startling Gus, laughing with her wings hanging at her sides, yet seeming so lively.

She smiled, just a bit.

“You know I wouldn’t mind, right?”

Amity squawked and whirled around, realizing Willow had landed next to her without her noticing, a smug look on her face.

“Mind? Course, course not.” Amity said quickly, ears flicking back as a flush came to her face. “I mean, it’s a small thing anyway, why would you even worry about it?” She said, forgoing judging the gap and flapping her wings as she landed on the next branch, having to grab one above her to stop herself from slipping off.

“But, uh, you wouldn’t? Really?” Amity swallowed, glancing at Willow as she calmly landed next to her.

“So you do know what I’m implying,” Willow said smugly, her wings arched.

“I--” Amity started before slowly shutting her mouth again and resorting to a glare. “I don’t like you.”

“Yes, you do.”

Amity muttered and released the branch above her, debating the consequences of knocking Willow off the branch with her wings. So far, the cons were outweighing the pros.

“Out of curiosity, could you bend the trees so I don’t break every bone in my body when I inevitably fall?” Amity asked, hoping to change the conversation.

“It would be more like growing the leaves, not bending the tree, but yes.” Willow said, deciding to be merciful. “You’re going to be fine, Amity. Luz went out of her way to make sure nothing went wrong today.”

“Which means she shoved a bunch of problems into a closet and is going to deal with them when she forgets they exist and suddenly burst free?” Amity guessed, giving Willow a side-eye.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Willow nodded with a tired sigh. “But let's focus on getting those wings moving before whatever troubles Luz has hidden away come looking for blood.”

“It is sounding more appealing now,” Amity agreed, holding her wings out and taking a breath before jumping off her branch.

She glided in a wonky fashion for only a few moments before smacking into a thin branch and clinging clumsily to it, her cheek resting against the wood. She heard whoops and rattles and looked up, seeing Luz and Gus had brought their game closer to her and Willow.

“That was a good glide,” Luz complimented, landing on a branch underneath Amity’s so her face could lean closer to hers. “We could probably try glides across the clearing, soon!” She said gleefully.

Amity short-circuited for a moment, her words coming out in a jumbled mess before she realized she was slipping off and re-tightened her old on the branch.

“Y-yeah! Totally,” Amity nodded, swallowing thickly as she attempted to sit up.

“How are your wings feeling?” Luz asked, flying up and offering a hand to Amity, which the witch gratefully took.

“A little stiff, but not too bad.” Amity said, steadying herself on her feet. “I haven’t been moving them much, so that probably helps.”

“Aw, come on, Amity! You’re supposed to use them,” Luz complained, landing on the thin branch beside her and making it wobble. 

If she noticed, she didn’t react to it.

“We gotta build up those muscles! Make them big and powerful, like mine.” She said, proudly flaring her wings, despite them being significantly smaller than Amity’s.

Amity raised a brow in amusement and looked over Luz. Her gaze paused for a moment on her wings. Specifically, the base of them.

Sure enough, Willow was right. Where Luz’s wings met her body, and even underneath her marginal and secondary covert feathers, was small gray and white downy fluff. It wasn’t exactly hidden, but due to how close it was to her body and her wings' natural white speckles, most people wouldn’t even notice them.

“Amity?”

The witch jerked her head up, startled. She blushed redder when she noticed Luz was looking at her oddly and drawing her wings half-closed.

“Are you sure you're okay? You kinda spaced out for a moment, there.” She said, a slight twitch to her tail.

“Yes! Yeah, I, erm, I’m okay.” Amity said, hating how loud her voice was at first and rubbing the back of her neck. “Just, uh, thinking about how I’m gonna actually manage to fly.” 

“Aw, you’ll get it, I’m sure.” Luz said kindly. “We’re not giving up that easily!”

“What are ya talkin’ bout?” 

The branch shook more as Gus landed on Amity’s other side. Amity held out her hands to keep her balance, uneasy.

“Just flying,” Luz said, oblivious as Gus rose his wings to hold himself still. “Hey, where’s Wil--”

Willow, sure enough, came to land on the branch where it connected to the trunk of the tree. Her wings were still slowing down to stop her flight when a cracking noise reached their ears.

Before anyone could shout a warning, the branch snapped off from underneath the kids, sending them tumbling down.

Amity flailed and flung out her wings, trying to stop her fall. Her wings caught the air and she got momentary whiplash as her fall stopped abruptly.

She glided for a good few moments, looking around frantically before crashing face-first into a branch and landing with a thud on the one beneath it, groaning.

She lifted her head to check what happened to the others, worried. Gazing below her, she saw that Gus had landed on a large leaf that Willow made to catch him. Luz hadn’t been so lucky and clearly tried to fly away but instead hit a branch and landed on the intersection between two larger ones. Bruised, but no worse for wear.

Willow, since she had been the last to land, and was a hummingbird, had avoided falling altogether.

“You guys okay?” Willow asked, landing in the middle of where her friends were scattered.

Groans of pain greeted her.

“I think we’re done for today.” Amity decided, folding her wings over her back as she sat up. 

“Fair,” Luz mumbled, rolling off the intersection before flaring out her wings and flying up. “Amity, you need help getting down?”

“I...I think I can try and glide down.” Amity said, peering over the branch. “Willow, prepare to catch me, please.”

“Can do,” Willow sighed, letting Gus’s leaf shrink to normal size and dumping the nuthatch on the ground below, much to his complaints.

“Hey, I think today was pretty successful.” Luz shrugged, flying around Amity. “Considering how it could’ve gone, breaking a branch is actually pretty decent!” Amity and Willow made eye contact from across the trees.

“You have a monster chasing you today, don’t you?” Willow deadpanned.

“Two, actually.”

,

“This is the worst idea you’ve ever had during these sessions. And you wanted us to try and ride a Roc.”

“I think you’re being a little over-dramatic, Amity.”

“It’s not so bad,” Luz said, standing at the edge of the cliff. “I mean, you’ve made a lot of progress. And it’s only been just over a week! If anything bad happens, you can just glide to safety. Or Willow can catch you.” She added.

“There is one branch on this entire cliff.” Amity said, pointing below. “And I don’t want to land in the ocean, Luz.”

“This is why we don’t take advice from Eda,” Gus mumbled under his breath.

“I won’t let you fall, I promise.” Luz said, her tail quivering slightly. “I can catch you, and so can Willow.” She insisted.

Amity frowned and peered over the edge, clearly not convinced.

Okay, Luz thought, so maybe her previous ideas hadn’t all been bangers. Especially not the Roc or the throwing plan. But this wasn’t that bad, not really. Sure, Amity could get her wings wet, but so long she didn’t crash at the bottom of the cliff, she’d be fine, this is fine.

“We gotta get those wings in the air somehow, and you’re already able to glide longer! This’ll be great, I’m sure.” She said, waving a hand.

“Yeah,” Gus drawled out slowly, glancing at Luz’s tail, which had not stopped twitching. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this if you're not completely sure of it?”

“Course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be sure?” Luz said quickly, glancing around. “I’m fine, it’ll all be fine. Look, here,”

With that, she calmly took a step backwards off the cliff.

Amity jerked forward for a moment before drawing back. Luz had fallen for barely a second before she had spread her wings and flown up, now hovering a little over two thousand feet in the air.

“Now I can make sure nothing bad happens.” She said. “Just, uh, you know...don’t look down?” She tried with a sheepish smile.

“We’re all going to regret this,” Willow muttered.

Despite her words, she also stepped off the cliff and flew halfway down where the broken branch was, hovering by it at the ready.

“You three have fun, I’m staying here.” Gus said, fluttering his wings as he focused on his notebook. “I’d rather not risk crashing into the sea.”

This did little to reassure Amity.

“Just open your wings and glide,” Luz said, flying around the edge of the cliff. “Maybe flap your wings a little. What’s the worst that could--”

“Don’t finish that,” Amity growled, snapping her head up to glare at the sparrow. “I don’t need us being jinxed right now.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Luz nodded, flying back. “Uh, you can do it?”

“Thanks,” Amity deadpanned.

Luz flew a little below the cliff, clinging onto the rock as she looked up at Amity psyching herself up. She kept her wings half open behind her, should she fall off.

“I’m right here, I promise.” Luz said, offering a smile.

Amity looked down at her for a few moments before giving a smile back and vanishing from her line of view. 

Luz tilted her head, confused, and a little intrigued, as she heard the shuffling and ruffling of feathers above her.

Then, without warning, Amity suddenly leapt off the cliff.

Her wings were spread wide, and she soared right over both Luz’s and Willow’s heads. Luz gaped for a few moments before launching off the rockface. 

Amity was managing to glide, albeit shakily, over the ocean. Luz grinned and flew up beside her, whooping and cheering.

Amity had her arms held out at her sides and her eyes were glued to the horizon.

“You alright?” Luz giggled.

“If I just keep staring ahead I’ll be fine,” Amity said, never moving her head. “I’m not falling, right?”

“Hmm,” Luz glanced back and at Amity’s steady gliding. “Nope! Well, I guess you are, but it’s with style.” 

Amity snorted, her stiff stance wavering for a moment. Luz grinned in victory and looked back, noticing they were getting further from the cliff. Willow had moved away from the branch and was waving to them.

“We should probably turn back before you glide out to sea,” Luz called over to her. “You remember how to tilt your wings?”

“I think so?” Amity mumbled.

She dipped her left wing and leaned, turning in the air. Luz smiled, flying up and over Amity in a spinning circle before continuing to fly normally just underneath the witch.

Willow was cheering as well, hovering above the cliff. Luz could see Gus furiously scribbling notes and constantly looking back up at them, grinning.

Amity laughed, finally relaxing as she tilted her wings slightly, swaying in the air.

“And you thought this was a terrible idea,” Luz smirked.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Amity grumbled, rolling her eyes before glancing down at Luz.

Luz saw her eyes wander to the crashing ocean beneath them and her face fell.

“Uh, Luz?” Amity said, going a little pale.

“I told you not to look down!” Luz squawked, flying higher up so that her wings were nearly brushing Amity’s.

“It-it’s not the height,” Amity shook her head, tearing her gaze away from the ocean and looking back up at the human. “I think there’s something down there.”

Luz blinked and looked down, squinting. For a few brief moments, she saw nothing. Then, in a brief flash, she saw something dark flick out of the water before vanishing.

Luz glanced back at Amity, who was banking to the right in a circle, nervous.

“Uh, out of curiosity,” Luz said slowly, pausing in the air to hover as Amity glided by. “What’s the ocean wildlife like in the Boiling Isles?”

A massive tremor suddenly shook the area, catching the attention of Willow and Gus, who were both standing when it hti. Luz whirled around to call a warning to Amity before the sea suddenly split apart, revealing massive, gaping jaws. 

Luz let out a cry and flailed, barely missing jaws closing around her tail as she tucked in and darted away.

She spun, taking in the massive monster that had come from the sea.

It’s lower half was a golden carp, even with the head. But the mouth was wide open, and coming from said mouth was a striped cat-like demon. All that was coming out of the mouth was from the shoulder up, including paws nearly the size of the Owl House and a maw filled with teeth as big as a person.

The monster fell back to the sea at it’s failed attempt, though it’s eyes still shone with hunger.

“What was that?” Luz shouted, looking around wildly. “Amity? Amity!”

The kestrel, during the chaos, had smacked into the cliffside and was about two hundred feet down, clinging to the rock for dear life. Willow and Gus were picking themselves up from the sudden attack, panic evident.

“Luz, get back here!” Willow waved her hands around. “It’s after you!”

Luz didn’t need to be told twice.

She dove towards the cliff, hitting the safe grass before springing up a moment later and leaning over, her tail trembling.

“Amity!” She called down, and the witch jerked her head up.

“Hang on,” Willow said, stretching out a hand and making the branch a couple hundred feet below Amity twitch and move.

The branch had grown to a reasonable size before it started growing up towards Amity.

That was when the sea monster leapt out again.

It had spotted Amity, as her bright green feathers made her stand out against the dark gray stone. It snapped its jaws, taking out the branch cleanly as a claw dug into the cliff, dangerously close to the witch.

Luz didn’t know when she jumped off, but in a flash, she was suddenly diving right towards the leviathan.

She flared her wings, barely slowing her descent before she landed right between its eyes. She could hear her friends screaming, either at her or for their own lives, but she couldn’t make out any of the words.

“Get lost, you overgrown catfish!” She barked, flapping over to its left eye before slamming her feet down on it.

The monster howled and reared back, nearly taking Luz with it before she darted back into the air. She turned and flew to Amity, who was curled into a ball where she was clinging to the rocks, her wings shaking.

Luz landed right on the rock beside her and grabbed her shoulder. Amity’s eyes opened and she stared at Luz, unable to speak. All Luz could hear were distressed, rapid chirps from her throat.

“Willow! Help me grab Amity!” Luz called up the cliff, taking Amity’s arm.

It took a few moments, considering all the howling and tremors the sea beast was causing, but Willow appeared on Amity’s other side just a moment later. She grabbed her right arm and the two were quick to launch off the cliff and rise to the air.

Until a paw slammed into the cliff, just above them and barely a few meters away from missing Gus, who had been peering over the edge.

The girls all whirled around, meeting two massive eyes, one of them slightly red from getting kicked.

The three froze for a moment, the girls and the monster having a momentary staring contest.

Then its jaw opened and it launched towards them.

The three split apart in a flash. Luz and Willow flew to the left and right, and Amity...dove.

Luz could see her wings tucked into her sides as she dove downwards, panic violently seizing her.

“Amity! Pull up!” Luz cried.

The monster’s face hit the cliff and it hissed, jerking back and swiping it's free paw towards the closest bird, which happened to be Willow.

Willow managed to dodge and fly upwards, making a beeline for Gus, who had stepped back.

Luz tightened her wings to her sides and dropped like a stone, attempting to peer around the hulking beast, trying to figure out where Amity was among the thrashing golden body and massive waves.

She saw something coming at her from the corner of her eye and spun to the side, spreading her wings right as a gust of wind went by, accompanying a paw with claws the length of a bus.

The tiger roared, furious that it’s prey was proving so hard to catch. 

Luz finally saw Amity, right as she was twisting around to miss the beasts thrashing tail.

Luz cried out, curving around to try and reach her friend.

Amity suddenly shot out her wings and tilted upwards, sending her soaring nearly straight-up.

Luz didn’t have the chance to gape, because the beasts paw had hit the water right by her, sending waves four times as big as she was.

She darted up and around its forearm, missing its jaws by the brush of her feathers as she finally popped up above its head.

Willow was swiftly growing the grass on the cliff face, beginning to move them around the monster's neck and face, causing it to yowl and hiss.

Luz couldn’t even pay attention to that, she was too busy flying around and looking for a familiar flash of green.

And, right by the leviathans back, she saw it.

Amity soared up and her hand suddenly lit ablaze. She paused right by its head and flared out her wings. In that brief moment of pause, she flung the handful of fire at the cat's nose, hissing a slew of curses at it.

The fire grew when it came in contact with its nose and the beast shrieked, pulling back and breaking free of the grass wrapped around it. Amity flew, flew, out of the way as it hissed and removed its claws from the cliff face.

Luz slowly landed, deciding she’d rather not get involved. Amity’s rage-filled snarls were enough to keep her at bay.

The cat spat back at her but lowered its head, rubbing at its nose with its paw.

With a growl, the beast turned and dove back into the sea, deciding the fight wasn’t worth the prey.

In mere moments, it was like it was never there.

The others were breathing heavily, trying to process what had just happened. Luz, on the other hand, was left staring in the air at Amity, who was hovering right where she was, still watching where it vanished.

“She’s flying,” Luz murmured, before suddenly jumping up. “She’s flying! Amity! Amity! You’re flying!”

The witch turned back around, confused for a brief moment before glancing at her wings.

Luz leapt into the air and spun around the kestrel, talking a mile a minute as she resisted the urge to tackle Amity out of the sky in a hug.

Amity exhaled, shaking with the effort and her wings faltered. Luz paused then and gave her a worried look.

“Yeah, great,” Amity wheezed, her eyelids drooping. “I’m...I’m kinda tired…”

“Oh, right, right!” Luz nodded, taking her hands and flying the witch down. “Yeah, I think we’ve done more than enough for the day.”

“Are you okay?” Willow worried, coming up to Amity once they landed and holding her up.

“Everything hurts,” Amity whined, “Especially these,” She weakly twitched her wings.

“But not as much as before, right?” Gus inquired.

“...nah, not yet.” Amity shook her head.

“That’s a win in my book!” Luz said cheerfully. “C’mon, let’s get back to the Owl House before Eda shows up wondering what the fuss was all about.”

Amity didn’t respond. She just closed her eyes and nodded tiredly, leaning on Willow as she began the walk back to the Owl House.

Gus and Luz kept on talking, about the fight, the flying, what Gus had written down, anything. Luz somehow still had an abundance of energy, asking Amity questions she didn’t expect answers to and thinking up more ideas now that Amity had flown. After all, just because she flew once didn’t mean she was a master now.

Amity could barely keep her eyes open, and her walking was more like stumbling. 

And yet, despite that, she couldn’t stop smiling, either.

#wing au #my writing #drabble post #writing #the owl house #toh #luz noceda #luz #amity blight #amity #lumity #but minor #willow park #willow #gus porter #gus #nuthatch #hummingbird #sparrow #kestrel #flying #learning to fly #birds

[hlupdate]

While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

Far from aimless, however, today the singer is full of beans, cheerily shushing his barking dog as he potters about his North London home where he lives with his best friend from home, Oli, [...].

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, [...] “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#louis tomlinson #241120 #lt livestream #e and f mentions from the journalist removed where there is [...] #nothing altered from louis #stunt mention #at the link

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Fifty-Five) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing. PTSD. Depression. Mentions of a hostage situation, shooting, murder, suicide, physical trauma.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 10,588

Timeline: Season 8 Episodes 13. Right after part fifty-four.

Criminal Minds Discord Server

Before the front door was even closed, Hotch grabbed my waist, and he pulled me into a hug so tight I thought my lungs would collapse. To be fair, after a moment of being caught off guard, I started squeezing him back with every ounce of strength I had, too. It had been such a long, stressful day. We did everything we could have to help Reid, but it wasn’t enough. I had sat across from him in our house just that afternoon, promising him that Maeve would be alright. I told him that she was going to survive for him, and that he would get to hold her in his arms, just as Hotch and I were holding each other that night. But I lied. Maeve… She… Well, she wasn’t as lucky as I was. When I was taken, I practically knew how to get myself out of it because of my training, but Maeve had been waiting around for her knight in shining armor to come rescue her.

Watching Reid break down over Maeve’s body, refusing to even touch her because he didn’t get to hold her while she was still alive… I couldn’t help but think about the contrast between them and us. I remembered when Hotch found me, he broke down out of happiness and relief. He was so glad that I was safe, that I was alive, and that we were going to have a baby. We were lucky because he got to hold me in his arms again, kiss my lips as much as he wanted, to say “I love you” until his throat was sore. We got another chance together, whereas Reid and Maeve didn’t even have their first chance. It all felt unfair.

For some reason, I almost wished that I could trade places with them, just for a bit, so that they could be holding one another like Hotch and I were, so that they could kiss each other for the first time, so that they could look each other in the eyes and say “I love you”. Even though I didn’t want to lose Hotch in a million years, it almost felt like we had stolen some of the time that Reid and Maeve deserved— even though that wasn’t the case, realistically. It just felt like it should have been them standing there, relieved to be with each other. Spencer had been through so much. He deserved to be happy. He didn’t deserve this mess. He should have been able to hold Maeve…

Hotch’s arms constricted around me more and I sort of felt his knees buckle. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, breathing through his nose against my skin. I heard him sniffle lightly as a cold tear drop ran from his cheek and onto my neck.

“I’m here,” I cooed to him, pulling at the ends of his hair. “You’ll never lose me.”

That wasn’t guaranteed, though. For all I knew, I could have been lying to Hotch, too. Maybe someone would take me again, and they’d actually have the balls to end me. Maybe someone would take Hotch and I would be left to raise our family on our own… The thought made me want to throw up. I hadn’t put it in perspective like that. It was easy to think about dying— painful, but still easy. To think about losing Hotch randomly now, with our growing, happy family… My head started to spin, and I started to cry. I couldn’t lose him.

Hotch’s arms moved around me so that he could sweep me off my feet and cradle me close to his chest. I let him lift me off the ground, one of his arms sliding under my knees, his other one holding my back up. I kept my hold on his neck, letting him hug me as hard as he could as he slowly dropped to his knees.

We had all lost so much— Hotch more than anyone. But Reid had been through so many traumatic, unfair events. It all started with Tobias Hankle, and everything since then seemed like an attack on him, too. This… How was he supposed to recover from this? How were we supposed to help him?

That empty question kept me up all night. Hotch and I hardly even made it to the couch, still cuddled in each other’s arms, eternally grateful that we could be together. Nothing needed to be said. Nothing even needed to happen. We just sat in silence, listening to each other’s breathing, feeling the way our hearts beat in our chest, thinking about how things could have ended much differently in Hawai’i. All this time, we took each other for granted. We took our daughter for granted. If I hadn’t acted as quickly as I did when they took me on our honeymoon, and if Hotch hadn’t found me as soon as he did, then it was entirely possible that he wouldn’t have me—or neither of us would have our little ray of sunshine. We weren’t going to forget this. I don’t think anyone on the team was going to forget. Ever.

----

No one heard from Reid for about a week, and after an extremely tough case where everyone was still trying to reach out to him, I decided to head over there with Scarlet. I figured that he would be willing to see me if she was with me. After connecting the way we did during Maeve’s kidnapping, I thought that it was worth a shot. Maybe he would talk to me. If he wouldn’t reach out to his closest friends, like JJ and Garcia, maybe he would at least open up to someone who wasn’t as emotionally involved. It was easy to do that sometimes. Opening up to our loved ones was difficult because we never wanted to be judged or ridiculed by the people we knew best; but opening up to someone who was practically a stranger, like a therapist or someone on the internet, felt freeing. Since Reid and I had never been close, we hardly knew anything about each other. I’d said it before, but that was no one’s fault. It happened naturally. But now that he was suffering, and it was clear that he needed someone to talk to, I decided that I would at least try to be that shoulder he could cry on.

I adjusted Scarlet on my hip as I headed up the steps to Reid’s apartment. JJ had given me the address after I told her my idea, and she agreed that it didn’t hurt to try. When I reached the top of the steps, I stopped after noticing all of the gift baskets gathered in front of his door, all unbothered and unopened. I cocked a brow. That wasn’t right. Why were these all here, and why hadn’t Reid at least taken them inside once he knew no one was just outside, waiting to bother him? Was something wrong? Nothing felt wrong. But maybe that was why he hadn’t been in contact with any of us since Maeve’s death.

I stepped over the baskets to urgently knock on his door. “Reid, are you in there?” I leaned around Scar to get a look at the gift baskets, noticing the huge pink, cursive print that read: To Reid, From Garcia. I smiled lightly. Oh. I knocked again. “Reid, wellness check.” Nothing. “Sound off or I’m coming in.”

“Here,” I heard him respond weakly.

I let out a relieved sigh. “I brought Scarlet. Do you want to at least talk to her, if you won’t talk to anyone else?” I heard shuffling inside, the sound of a heavy piece of furniture being dragged around and books being kicked out of the way. And then the door opened. There was only enough space for Scarlet to fit through, so I caught the hint. “Okay.” I helped Scarlet down to the ground and held her tiny hands as she struggled to slowly waddle into his apartment. The door shut on my face the second Scarlet was inside. I scoffed. “I’ll be sitting out here, I guess.” I turned and slowly crouched onto the ground, groaning as I did so, catching myself before I could topple over after my foot hit one of the gift baskets Garcia left. I inspected it carefully. There was chocolate, containers of cherries and nuts, and stupid miniature figures from Doctor Who. I looked at Reid’s door while asking, “Hey, Reid, do you mind if I snack on some of this stuff?” I waited a moment for an answer, but nothing came, so I decided to just go for it. There was too much there for him to eat on his own, anyhow.

Halfway through a bag of Hershey Kisses, my phone started ringing. I leaned to the side so that I could grab it out of my back pocket while still chewing on the piece I had just popped into my mouth moments prior. Aaron Hotchner. I sighed as I answered the call. With a full mouth, I said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered honestly, “I just wanted to check to see if you got through to Reid.”

I looked over my shoulder at the door to see that there still wasn’t any movement or noise. “Well… He opened the door and let Scarlet inside, but he kept me out.”

“He let Scarlet in?”

“They really connected the day Mae—” I stopped myself. “He’s always been fond of her, baby. You remember when she was born. He had just lost Emily, and hearing that we named our daughter after her… I think something just clicked for him.” I trapped the phone between my ear and my shoulder so that I could unwrap another piece of chocolate. “He’s so good with her, baby. You should have seen him that day.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

I shook my head somewhat, still keeping the phone trapped. “Not at all. I think he’s just lonely.”

“But the whole team—”

“I think he needs someone impartial, Aaron.”

He sighed on the other end. “You’re right.”

I smirked. “I know.”

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

“Whenever one of them gets too tired or fussy to keep hanging out with each other.”

“E.T.A?” he teased.

“Not available.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.” I could hear him pouring himself a drink in the background, probably a glass of bourbon since the case we had gotten back from last night was a doozy, and his reward was a few drinks here and there whenever we made it through one like that. “I’m worried about him. I don’t want him to leave the team.”

“I know… I don’t either. But it’s his choice, Aaron. If it were you in his shoes, what would you do?”

“You know what I did.”

“Yeah, but you had me there to pick up the pieces. I mean, now, if you were in his shoes today—”

“Stop,” he demanded quickly. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized sincerely. I reached to grab a gummy bear. Garcia had really outdone herself with all of these custom gift baskets that she clearly put together on her own. “It’s just been on my mind.”

“Mine, too.”

The steps just ahead of me started creaking, giving me a heads up that someone was coming. I looked up to see Morgan’s bald head slowly appear. I laughed to myself at the thought, watching as more and more of Morgan began revealing himself to me until he finally reached the top stop, at which point he looked over and spotted me. We both froze. A smile grew on his face, too. We both looked guilty when we realized that we had been caught coming to check on Reid, even though we knew that it was potentially futile.

“Baby, Morgan just got here. I’m going to have to call you back later.”

“Okay,” Hotch said, “call me when you’re on your way home.”

“Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hung up on Hotch, leaning to put my phone back into the pocket of my pants. As Morgan sighed and sat down next to me on the floor, I handed him a handful of chocolates. He silently thanked me. We both started snacking on the chocolates, crumbling up the small tin foil wrappers and piling them up between us. I rested my head on Morgan’s shoulder.

“He’ll only see Scarlet,” I whispered.

“Well, the kid’s always liked talking to kids,” Morgan whispered back. “He’s the only one who can get through to the child victims.”

“I know.”

“He would have made a great dad one day…” He threw a wrapper angrily at the wall opposite us.

I scrunched my brows together. “He can still—”

“Not after that.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

Morgan chuckled lightly. “You’ve always been an optimist.”

“And you’ve never been a pessimist. So, what gives?”

“Nothing.”

“And I refuse to believe that,” I teased.

Morgan looked down both sides of the hallway to make sure no one was around or eavesdropping. “You know how I’ve been teaching those Academy lessons on Saturdays?”

“Yeah, you make Prentiss go.”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded. “Has anyone told you which drill I make my cadets do the most?” I shook my head in response. “Home invasion where an entire family is being held hostage. One adult male, one adult female, one son, one baby. Care to guess why I do that one the most?”

My shoulders fell and my eyes softened. All this time, I had been so caught up in the fact that, as Jack and Scarlet's parents, it was mine and Hotch’s responsibility to take care of them and protect them. I never stopped to ask myself how Morgan and Prentiss possibly felt responsible, too. Morgan was the one who first took the initiative to befriend me when I joined the BAU, and we had been best friends since. We had always been protective of each other, but that came with the territory of being field partners, friends, and now he was the godfather of Scarlet. He probably felt an immense urge to protect us because we were his family. I couldn’t stand the idea of facing another Foyet incident, but Morgan was likely terrified of it happening, too, because he didn’t want to be the one to find us.

“There are nights where I can’t sleep,” he explained, “because I have nightmares about what could happen if something bad happens and I can’t save you. You were the first person I had ever met who understood what I went through as a kid, and you were the only other person I knew that was just as damn stubborn as I was to not admit it. You were the one who held me when I found out that Garcia had been shot. You were the one who made sure that I was okay in New York, even though you were the one we should have been worried about. I was the shoulder you cried on for months after Haley’s death because you didn’t want to worry Hotch or make him more upset than he already was. And then Hotch called to tell me that someone took you in Hawai’i, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I worried endlessly every day that you were gone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think about anything other than finding you because I wanted my best friend back. I wanted my partner back. I wanted my sister back. And when we found you, I was so relieved. It felt like I could finally breathe after holding my breath all my life because you were safe, you were in Hotch’s arms, and you were still fucking worried about me even though you shouldn’t have been. And then when Scarlet was born…” He choked on a light sob. “And you asked if I would be her godfather, I made a promise to myself in that moment that I would never, ever let anything happen to you guys ever again. You and Hotch have been through too damn much, and I can’t risk losing my partner again. So that was why I slept on your couch almost every day when Hotch was gone. I didn’t want to get a call in the middle of the night, calling me to a crime scene that looks eerily similar to all the shit we see at work, only to find that it’s you, Jack, and Scarlet. I couldn’t bear the thought, so I stayed as close as I could. Then when Hotch came back, and I knew I couldn’t sleep on your couch forever, I had to start working towards being efficient as hell in a situation like this. I look at family annihilator crime scenes all the time, and— you’re right, all I see is you and your family. But I don’t let it wear me down or distract me. I let it encourage me to do better, to try to stop those guys before they can hurt anyone else. There are times, though, sugar, like what happened with Maeve, and I can’t help but feel pessimistic. We’re supposed to help people like Maeve. We’re supposed to help families like yours. Yet we seem to fail nearly every time—”

“We don’t fail.”

“We’re always too late,” he argued. “That’s failing.”

“You know… Every time I’ve almost lost Hotch, I thought I was going to die. I’d see him in pain, and I’d struggle to even breathe. Those people we help… At least we’re making a difference in their lives so that they don’t have to know what that feels like.”

Morgan shifted uncomfortably while reaching for a candy. “Hotch struggled when you went missing. I’ll never forget that.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t really understand what it was like. Hotch’s reaction to seeing you hurt was worse than how Reid reacted, and he didn’t even lose you entirely. Reid was capable of holding himself back, of biting his tongue and regressing into silence while Maeve was still missing. Hotch, on the other hand, had been lashing out. He was so angry, so upset, so lost without you. The only thing he could focus on was finding you, and even then, he needed someone to keep him on task the whole time. But he found you, and he was so relieved, and he was himself again. He won for once and we could all tell that he was so grateful. But Reid lost. He didn’t get to feel that relief. It’s going to take him a very long time to recover from that. A long, long time.”

The doorknob suddenly creaked, causing Morgan and I to both jump to our feet. We stood at attention, shoulder to shoulder, watching as the door opened ever so slightly. My attention was lowered when I saw Scarlet come waddling out of Reid’s apartment. I reached down and carefully picked her up, groaning as I did so and felt my back strain. Morgan watched me silently, taking notice of my struggle, something that he was likely going to point out to Hotch later before I could even get home. Great.

As I propped Scarlet on my hip, I looked back up at the door that was closing in our faces. I figured that would be it, he wouldn’t want us around any longer, so I turned on my heels like I was going to make my way out of the building, but Spencer’s door stopped just in time before it could close all the way, and I saw one of his eyes peek around the corner. Reid got a good look at me, but all we could see was his left eye and part of his cheek.

“Can we—” Reid paused to clear his throat after he noticed how quiet and high-pitched he sounded. “Can we do this again next week?”

I looked to the side at Morgan to see his reaction since I didn’t know what to say or do. I mean, of course I wanted to oblige, but his question had caught me off guard for multiple reasons. For starters, I didn’t expect Reid to say anything to us that day; and next, was he really going to be like this for another week? Was he going to be like this for months? Maybe he should have been talking to a therapist and not a baby.

Morgan shrugged, letting me know that it was my decision.

My eyes met Reid’s one eye as Scarlet tried climbing around in my arms. She was always so damn fussy, I swear. “I think we'd both like that,” I answered, referencing me and Scar.

Reid nodded to thank me for understanding.

“Hey, kid,” Morgan stepped into his view to catch his attention. “Are you okay?” Reid closed the door within an instant, shocking Morgan. “Well,” he scoffed, “okay, then…”

I shrugged at him, not knowing what to tell him, then we left, heading home together.

----

After that, we kept up with the ritual for a few weeks. Every Sunday, which was when Maeve would usually call Spencer, I took Scarlet over to his place. It was nice. They hung out, and I relaxed. He never asked me to come in, he never even talked to me. He would open the door for her, let her waddle in, then he would let her come back out whenever they got bored. It worked. She was always excited to go, and she was always wiped when we were leaving.

About a month into it, Spencer kept the door open after Scarlet went in. I finally got to see him. His fair was so long, so flat, not at all puffy and lively like it normally was. He had bags under eyes, just like Hotch. His apartment reeked, I could smell it from where I was standing, and it looked like a complete wreck. I pouted at him. He shyly asked if I could help him with something, to which I nodded and carefully stepped into his apartment.

All of Garcia’s gift baskets were empty and stacked on his kitchen counter. He had eaten through everything. Thankfully, he had eaten something, but as for showering or cleaning his apartment, I couldn’t praise him as much. There were books scattered everywhere, pages ripped out of a few here and there, spilled coffee on the table, clothes littered around. I knew he was depressed, but if I would have known that the rest of his life had fallen apart like that, I would have kicked down the door in order to help him and hold him.

Spencer kept his eyes lowered as he whispered, “Can you help me clean up?”

I nodded eagerly. “I’d love to.”

I sent him to his bedroom to go shower while I started with taking all of the trash out to the dumpster behind the building and cleaned up any spills around the place. Coffee, sodas, orange juice. It was like he knocked it over and didn’t have the energy to fix it. I knew that feeling. Then, when he came back from his shower, he and I started working on picking up all of the papers, organizing them, then collecting the books that he had angrily thrown around. He didn’t say anything. I could tell he was ashamed of his state of living, but it really wasn’t his fault, and I wished more than anything that he understood that. I was just glad he asked for help before it got any worse.

As I finished putting back the last book Spencer had thrown on the floor, I turned to see that he was sitting down on the floor and pulling Scarlet onto his lap. She giggled and poked at his face. Reid didn’t mind, though. He let her play with his curls before making a move to playfully bite at her finger. She laughed and snatched her hand away. He smiled back at her and started bouncing her on his knee to keep her laughing.

I tried biting back a smile as I sat across from them on the floor. I made sure to keep my distance because they were sharing a moment, and this was the first time I had seen Reid smile in so long, I didn’t want to take that away from them. He deserved to be happy. After everything that happened, he deserved to forget about the burdens of the world and just focus on playing with Scarlet. He was always so good with kids, too. That was why I offered that he hang out with Scarlet rather than talk to me or Morgan or someone else. With Henry and Jack, Reid always just seemed to… click with them. I looked at how he was playing with Scarlet, and I knew right then and there that he was going to be the best father one day. I wanted to tell him, but I knew that after Maeve, he wouldn’t want to hear anything about that kind of stuff. That was understandable.

He finally looked up at me and asked, “Do you know why Scarlet’s the only person I’ll talk to?”

I leaned back, stretching my arms behind me to keep myself propped up. “I have my suspicions.” But that was all I said because I wanted to wait for his answer.

It didn’t take a profiler to know that Spencer Reid was hurting, and he thought that he needed to suffer alone. He didn’t want to burden others with his troubles, and he certainly didn’t want to sit around while someone would lie to his face while telling him: “It’ll be alright” or “She’s in a better place now” or “You’ll stop hurting eventually” or some other bullshit like that. I knew that if I lost Hotch, I wouldn’t want to hear any of it. It wasn’t going to be alright, Maeve deserved to still be with him and not in some “better place”, and, honestly, he was never going to stop hurting. If she was really a soulmate—like I assumed she was—then he was never going to get over it. And I wasn’t going to sit there and lie to him. But I knew that he was scared of talking to anyone because he didn’t know who understood him like I did versus someone like Morgan who was willing to lie to him just to make themselves feel better.

“There are so many things that I wanted to say to Maeve, but couldn’t. And there are things now that I wish I could you guys, but I… I really don’t want people’s pity. I just wanted someone to talk to who would listen and not judge me. I want to be able to speak freely, to say the things I wanted to say to Maeve, to admit the things I want to say to the team, and… and I’ve found that talking to a baby is the best way to do that. You know, she’s still so young that she’ll sort of listen while she fusses in my arms, which helps distract me from wanting to cry all the time. And she doesn’t really know how to say anything except for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and ‘curls’.”

“Curls!” Scarlet cheered while leaping forward to reach for Reid’s hair.

He laughed and let her pull lightly on the strands of his long hair. “Like that.” When she started pulling too hard, he tickled her stomach to get her to let go. In a fit of laughter, Scarlet felt weak, collapsing in his arms while trying to fight him to make him stop. He gave up after a few more seconds. “I talk a lot about Maeve with Scarlet,” he admitted to me. “I talk about how much I miss her, and she listens. I’ve been telling her stories about our phone calls— her favorite one is the one where Maeve told me she loved me for the first time. It’s my favorite one, too. But, most of all, I’ve just been talking through my feelings with her, and it’s helped tremendously. Is that pathetic?”

“No,” I insisted quickly. “I’m glad that you’re at least getting the chance to talk to someone. It’s never good to bottle things up, Spencer, you know that. Talking to someone—even if it is just a baby—is a good first step towards healing. I’m proud of you.”

Scarlet started throwing a tantrum because she was getting tired and wanted to go home, so I let her fall into my arms while cradling her and cooing her to calm down. I wanted to stay with Reid more than anything… but duty called. The baby wanted home, and I had to give in. So, I stood, and Spencer saw me to the door. Though the hallway was just there, and I could tell that he was eager to be alone again, I turned to inspect him one more time, and I pushed his curls out of his face with my fingers. He let his eyes flutter shut.

“I’m proud of you, Spencer. Truly.”

His lip quivered as he tried to hold a sob back. Before I could see him crack, though, he practically shooed me out of his place and shut the door on my face. I sighed and looked at Scarlet. She was already asleep in my arms, sucking on her thumb while snoring. She was so like her dad.

When I got home, I found Jack passed out on the couch with his homework on the floor. Hotch was sitting with him on another cushion, reading the news on his phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and kissed his cheek. He smiled and turned his face to look at me before pressing a kiss directly against my lips. After we parted, he reached to take Scarlet from me. With my arms free, I stretched. He chuckled at me as I walked around the couch so that I could sit with him, stopping so that I could take a chance to kiss Jack and tuck him under a blanket, then I collapsed against Hotch.

“He let me in today,” I said. Hotch couldn’t believe it. “We cleaned up his place. I don’t think he’s okay, but he will be.” I nuzzled my head against his side.

“I didn’t want it to be him,” Hotch whispered.

I cocked a brow at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Out of everyone on the team, I didn’t want it to be him who had to go through what I went through.” He looked at me. “He’s so young… and he’s alone… He has no one to fall back on. He still doesn’t understand the world, and he doesn’t even understand himself. At least with Haley—” He stopped when Jack squirmed on the couch while yawning and rolling over. When we were sure that he was still asleep, Hotch continued. “At least with Haley, I had you, I had Jack… and I understood myself and the world enough to understand what was happening and why it was happening. But Spencer… He doesn’t have any of that. He’s like my family, Y/N, and I didn’t want it to be him… Anyone but him.”

I didn’t know what to say to any of that.

Hotch flung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, then he kissed my forehead. I nuzzled against him. After spending the afternoon with Reid, I realized even more now just how lucky we were. I didn’t have to worry about missing Hotch. I didn’t have to kill myself over the fact that I wouldn’t get to hold him ever again because he was there, and he was holding me, and I was his, and we were watching our children sleep peacefully. Just to make sure it was all real, though, I grabbed Hotch’s free hand and kissed his knuckles.

“I love you,” he whispered against my hair.

“I love you more.”

He chuckled. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Don’t make me get all cliché on you, Agent Hotchner.”

As we chuckled again, we relaxed and snuggled against each other, but we didn’t fall asleep. We couldn’t. It was too hard to rest while knowing how easy it was to lose everything. It reminded me of how we were after Haley died. We were paralyzed, but at least we had each other to get through it, and we had Jack to encourage us to get better. Spencer had no one. Spencer didn’t have a loved one to lean on, he didn’t know how to open up to people, and he didn’t know how to deal with his emotions. It was going to destroy him.

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