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vanteguccir · 2 months

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Atelophobia | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.

Warning: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!

Requested?: No.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

PS.: This is not intended to trigger anyone or an instruction of how to lose weight. Read at your own risk.

PS. 2: Written by a girl - me - who goes through this every day.

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Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.

This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.

This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.

She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.

One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.

Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.

Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.

Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.

How could she not fall in love with her own illness?

So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.

Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.

Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.

She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.

Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.

She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.

Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.

Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.

But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.

Until Y/N met Matt.

Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.

Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.

The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.

Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.

So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.

Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.

Until it wasn't.

Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.

So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.

As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.

It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.

While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.

Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.

"Matt can do so much better than her"

"I really don't know what he saw in her"

"She's going to end up crushing him like that"

"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"

And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.

Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.

Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.

Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.

But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.

Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.

Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.

Comparison was her biggest enemy.

Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.

Why can't I be like her?

The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.

It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.

His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.

His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.

The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.

Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.

"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.

Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.

He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.

Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.

"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.

"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.

Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.

"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.

He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.

"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."

He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.

Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.

"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."

"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.

"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."

"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."

"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.

Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.

Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.

"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."

Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.

"Okay."

Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.

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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

‼️: If you relate to any of the things that I wrote on this, feel free to send me a message, my DMs are open!! I'm always open to talking to you all. You don't need to suffer alone. You're all super strong, and you got this!! I love you 🩷

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

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thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels · 2 months

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There is love in me, I swear (tell me there's something in you, too)

let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here

pairing: poly marauders x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.3k

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: slytherin reader, they're all big partiers, reader has a bad attitude but in a nice lovable way

a/n: I warned everyone that I would be posting for someone new and now you all must suffer the consequences xoxo but also do please be nice abt it I beg

There's always an air of confidence amongst the three of them, the way they lounge on one of the larger couches in the Gryffindor common room, legs overlapping and shoulders pushed up against one another. They're completely at ease, your brain supplies as you step up to them, and you remember vaguely that people have said the same about you more times than you can count.

There's none of that from you now, though, as you perch on the armrest and look down at James's beaming smile.

"Hey lovely, what brings you here?" The way he lets an arm grip your waist is natural, pulling you closer so that your hip is against his shoulder.

"Finally needed to come up for air? Snake pit getting to be a bit much, hm?" Sirius's tone holds no real malice and neither does the glare you shoot him or Remus's chiding look.

"Came up here for some peace and quiet. Guess I'm not getting that, though," you shoot back good-naturedly, a hand running through James's hair as he begins to let his thumb rub circles on your hip where his arm is anchored around you.

"You, uh, came up to the Gryffindor common room for peace and quiet, love?" says Remus, amusement tinting his voice. You let your bottom lip jut out slightly in response.

"Desperate times. They're getting ready to throw another rager tonight and I'm just too tired for that," you say, a long sigh leaving your lips as you speak. James pauses his soothing hands to pull away from you enough to look up at your face, his brows furrowed and eyes big in that worried way of his. Remus and Sirius have perked up as well, and you find yourself sitting straighter at the attention.

"...You feeling alright, sweet thing?" Sirius asks. Your mouth falls open in shock.

"I'm not - I'm not that much of an alcoholic. I don't need to go to every party - you three aren't there, either." You look back and forth between the three focused gazes.

"Yea, but… what's a Slytherin party without you there? That's like - there wouldn't be a Gryffindor party without us." James points out. You arch a brow at him.

"Maybe you three just think too highly of yourselves," you respond dryly. Sirius barks out a laugh from where he's lying across Remus' lap and James makes a big show of pretending to be offended.

"Wasn't it you who called us Gryffindor's golden boys last week, dove?" Remus points out, a smile stretching across his face. You glare back.

"Alright, you can all shut up now. I didn't come up here to be accosted." You say haughtily, but Remus's smile doesn't falter and Sirius coos at you the way you assume he'd coo at something rather small and fluffy. You sniff indignantly and plant yourself more firmly on the armrest while James makes some gentle attempts to pull you down onto the couch next to him.

"Come on, lovely," James tries to coax you. You look down at him indignantly. "You can relax. It's just us," he prompts, smoothing a hand over your back. You shoot him another withering glare and, when met by nothing but his beaming smile, let your stubbornness slacken just enough that he can haul you up off the armrest, manhandling him so that you're suddenly squished on the couch between him and Remus, Sirius still lounging on his lap.

Remus puts an arm around you, the weight familiar as it falls over your shoulders and you begin to slump into it despite your stubbornness.

"Aw, your ice melts so fast for us, baby," Sirius teases, leaning to poke your cheek gently with his forefinger.

"I'll break that finger, Black," you shoot back, but there's no fight left in your voice. Sirius just laughs, leaning even more to press a kiss to your cheek, instead. You deflate a bit more, relaxing into the cushions and the heat of James pressed against you. He visibly sweetens at that, leaning towards you to press his own kisses up and down the side of your neck as Remus's fingers tangle with the hair at the nape of your neck, massaging slightly.

"Alright, alright," you murmur, voice breathy as you squirm under the attention. Remus eases up, his arm wrapping around your shoulders once more to let you relax against him, James pulling back to look at you fondly.

"Sorry, lovely," he flashes another smile. "Don't mean to overwhelm you."

"I'm fine," you say stubbornly. Sirius giggles in a way that you're sure means he doesn't believe you, and the faces of the other two reflect that sentiment. They let the silence hang, though, letting you gather your bearings.

"It's not fair," is all you finally say, in a voice too small to be your own. "I always know exactly what I'm doing and what I'm saying and what I'm feeling - until you three show up. Then I don't - I don't know." No one responds immediately and you wince internally, as you're sure it's so that they can all choose their words carefully. Like you're some kind of timebomb, your mind prompts you. Like they're waiting for you to just explode.

"I do," Sirius supplies, his voice carrying a sombre air that it doesn't typically. "I know what you mean, love."

"No you don't," you murmur petulantly, but he takes it good-naturedly, his face softening with nothing but love. The other two stay quiet - it's like they've suddenly stepped into a private conversation, even though they've been there the whole time.

"Sometimes," Sirius begins carefully. Tick, tick, tick, your mind reminds you. You bite your lip at your own perceived volatility. "When we're not loved the way we should be, it just takes a while to get used to suddenly having it. I… I do know how that feels, love." Your shoulders tighten at his words, something that feels almost like guilt burning in the back of your throat.

"I'm sorry, Sirius - I didn't mean -"

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to forgive. You haven't done anything wrong here. You aren't doing anything wrong with us." You bite your lips harder at Siriuis' words, his gentleness, tasting a hint of copper in your mouth when you bite too hard. Remus steps in at this, clicking his tongue in that gentle, reprimanding way that you recognize as he uses his thumb to smooth over your lip.

"We love you," James reminds softly, his hand finding a home on your thigh, fingers pressing into your skin ever so slightly as he holds onto you firmly. "Never-ending bad mood and all." You open your mouth to snipe back but close it again quickly when you see the humour in James' eyes. "Sirius is the biggest drama queen alive and we still love him," James continues. Sirius makes an indignant, wounded sort of noise that goes ignored.

"Well… that's alright, I suppose," you huff, your arms crossed as you sit sullenly. James coos at you in a way that you should hate as Remus slides one hand against your cheek, guiding you to look at him so that he can pass a long kiss to your lips. You make an embarrassingly needy sound somewhere in the back of your throat and grip onto the front of his shirt, but the only evidence that Remus has noticed is the way he smiles against you. That and Sirius's jealous huff as he watches, unsure of which place he'd rather be in.

The three of you settle in as you and Remus part, him smiling lazily and thumbing over your lips. You press a quick, delicate kiss to the pad of his thumb before letting yourself relax fully into the couch, the silence that blankets the three of you forming a soft, comforting sort of thing.

"So…" Sirius begins. "You're really not going to go down to the party? At all?" You sigh and tilt your head back to stare at the ceiling.

"Yea, alright, we should go. Come on."

"Knew you couldn't stay away."

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singmyaubade · 1 year

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warning : mentions of smut and cursing

desperate!james x y/n

it was no secret that james potter wanted to fuck you. it was an almost well known fact in your year. many people wanted to know why he wanted to fuck you, some completely questioning their existence.

there was no doubt that you were attractive, most boys in your year wanted the chance to be the ones to fuck you but you never let them.

the question everyone mostly asked was why you wouldn't let him. he was extremely attractive and his personality was a turn on in itself so why wouldn't you let him fuck you?

you had your own reasons.

james potter was childish at points. people only saw what they wanted to see but the people with brains actually knew that james could be a prick.

ever since lily evans started dating a girl in her year, he stopped pining after her and realized she may not be the one.

but you didn't understand his obsession with you or her.

and james did have his own reasons.

long story short, he saw you in sixth year, completely naked. your body hadn't left his mind even a little bit. he had tried fucking multiple other girls and even trying something new but you wouldn't leave his mind.

you were getting sick of his constant eyes and of the marauders begging you to fuck him, just to stop hearing him. it was extremely tiring and there was no more time for it.

you didn't feel peer pressure but you just wanted him to get over it.

so you did what you had to.

you went up to james, "i'll fucking do it."

he looked at you in utter shock, "do what?" he said with a smirk.

you rolled your eyes, "i'll fuck you potter."

the look in his eyes was something you wouldn't forget but you didn't have time to waste so you grabbed his wrist, leading him to his own dorm.

you made it inside as you started stripping, "are you sure about this?" he asked, a bit nervous.

"if you really think fucking me will be that good then i will do it." you answered quickly, stripping down to your panties and bra.

his breath was caught, "you are so fucking hot." he inched closer to you as you found it hard to breathe.

he touched your skin so softly and he was warm.

suddently, his lips crashed onto yours causing you to be gasp. he stuck his tongue in your mouth and collided it with your tongue.

he was completely devouring you as he unstrapped your bra which made you even more surprised.

you laid on the bed as he started taking off his shirt and pants. after, he completely tore your underwear in half, "i'll fix it later." he was completely nude and so were you.

he continued kissing your lips as he kissed down to your cunt, licking the bud as you moaned.

"fuck." you said, grabbing onto his soft curls.

he started devouring you so fast that you couldn't concentrate. his nose hit your clit which caused you to moan as you were about to come.

"you taste so fucking good." he growled into your pussy which caused vibrations as you almost came right there and then.

he licked harder, adding more assault to your puffy cunt. you were about to come before he stopped and looked up at you, "not yet."

you frowned but wanted him to get whatever he needed to out of his system.

you looked down at his cock which was above average noticeably.

he lined his cock up to your soaking entrance as you looked nervous. he went inside of you with a groan, "so fucking tight."

he went slow at first but progressed to a faster speed as your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

"fuck me harder james." you demanded as he did as you asked.

"pussy of my dreams, you don't even fucking know." he whispered in your ear which made you wetter.

he kept mumbling how it was worth it and he was right about fucking you.

you even had to admit that fucking him was amazing.

he started rubbing your clit as he fucked you harder which only made you a mess and you were completely fucked out.

"i'm coming!" you announced as he looked at you with a smile at how beautiful you were.

"please do." he said it, almost whimpering.

you both came at the same time as he laid next to you. you went to sleep rather quickly but he stayed with you, not wanting to leave you.

about three hours later, the rest of the marauders came in to see james in bed with you which made them go in shock as he told them to be quiet.

"no fucking way." sirius whispered.

you nuzzled your head more into james chest as he gave sirius a smirk and pet your hair.

and you could honestly say,

that you should've been the one begging to fuck him.

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minhosimthings · 1 month

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Girl Dad!Enhypen headcannons

Pairings: Enhypen × fem!reader (sep.)

Warnings: fluff fluff I'm choking on this fluff, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of birth, mentions of food, also swearing because I can't handle myself lol

A/N: alright bitches I am high on baby fever so if I'm dying IM TAKING Y'ALL DOWN WITH ME. Tagging @jaeyunluvr for obvious reasons.

Stray Kids version!

Lee Heeseung

Is SO Bambi eyed when you tell him you're pregnant

Like 🥺 this be him, all teary eyed and happy

As if he didn't rail the brains out of you last night but whatever

He was already a simp for you but now that you're pregnant?

"My wife is my entire life and I will walk through every element in this world for her and I would destroy this entire world for her did you know that I love my wife?"

SO EXCITED WHEN YOU START SHOWING He cries over how soft you look sometimes

When I say he sings to your belly at night- (he rants about how the baby kicked when he sang his fav song to the guys)

And gets so starry eyed when baby kicks at his favourite song

Literally the best during birth, he's such a cheerleader

Sobs literal rivers when he holds the baby

"She looks so much like you."

Looks at his daughter as if he would end the world for her

HEESEUNG STOP WE ARE WEAK WOMEN HERE

Singing lessons are basically free for her and Heeseung sobs to you every night about how good she's been getting

Loves to have Karaoke dates with her and teaches her how to make music

Brags so much

"Y/N can you take your husband please he's been talking about his child for hours now we are tired" "hey guys do you know what she did yesterday-"

He died inside when she tried to hit a high note and succeeded

10/10 dad, must marry Heeseung I have a ring

Park 'Jay' Jongsoeng

Do I hear the best girl dad in the entire world?

YES I FUCKING DO DAD JAY AGENDA LETS GAURRRRR

When you tell him, he kisses your face so much

WORSHIPS YOU you are a Goddess in his eyes

normally Jay wouldn't let you do anything but now? He will ravage the earth if you lift even an atom

"what are you doing out of bed?" "I have to pee Jay for god's sake-"

Belly massages are free and unlimited with a husband like him

And so is the food because he will cook everything you ask for as if it's the last thing he'll do

Builds the bassinet properly, and makes sure to turn you on because mooscles SHUT UP IM HAVING A MOMENT

Asks his mom for advice if he doesn't know what to do

Is a brave boi during birth like he is NOT hesitant to do any shit you want

Cries part 2

And I mean he sobbed his entire water weight out of his body when he held his tiny baby

"I have two princesses to take care of now"

JAY PLEASE I HAVE A UTERUS STAPPH

Takes care of everything, and I mean everything

Not a surprise to see your baby girl strapped to his chest by a harness 24/7

Daddy-daugher dates are a must!!

His phone storage is literally just her

"Hey guys look at this picture of my baby"

Sim "Jake" Jaeyun

Jake.exe has stopped working

Literally just stares at you when you tell him, so much so you have to wave your hands in front of him to snap him out

"WE'RE HAVING A BABY WHAT"

Congratulations dear reader, because now your husband is basically attached to your belly

"Baby did she kick-" "bro I just moved chill"

Double congratulations because now Layla and him are fighting for your attention

Literally so lost in everything related to women, pregnancy, and birth but he tries

And by that I mean, he stares at you doe-eyed while you explain everything

Most likely to faint during the birth because lord he can't handle this, he's a princess babygirl

Sobs part 3

"she has your eyes" JAKE STOP

Layla and baby besties forever which makes Jake weak in da knees

Will not leave your baby alone even for a second like he's attached to her now

Loves shopping for her

Literally spoils the shit out of her do y'all see this man buying diamonds because I do

"Baby, of COURSE we have to get her matching outfits how else will we do movie night without matchy pajamas"

Jake come home the kids miss you

Park Sunghoon

Yay you have officially broken Park mf Sunghoon

When you tell him, he's literally just 😶😶

No thoughts, brain has evaporated

But then-

"IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY"

You're like chill mf what the hell

Will literally carry you everywhere no matter if you tell him to put you down

"Hoon I can walk-"

*already picking you up* "sorry can't hear I'm deaf"

He makes so many plans, and organises literally everything

Also will get confused on how to build the cradle thingy

He's shit scared of birth, but will definetly allow you to squeeze his hand as hard as you want

Sobs part 4

She looks like you part 3

ICE SKATING DATES WHADUPPP

I'm crying just imagining hoon holding her tiny hands and guiding her through the ice

Your daughter is a fashionista thanks to her dad

Spoils her shitless part 2

"GUYS GUYS YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MY BABY DID THE OTHER DAY" *doesn't even wait for a yes*

Kim "Sunoo" Seonwoo

My dude is so chill

Probably the normalest out of all of em

Hugs you and kisses you all over

But inside he's screaming crying throwing up shaking kicking his feet in the air

Literally treats the house like a military base once you staart showing

*talking to Enha* "If anything goes even the slightest bit wrong I will murder all of you."

So obsessed with literally just watching you because in his eyes you're so adorable

LOVES THE WAY YOU WADDLE

Gets so cocky over helping you like he's so proud, showing off his muscles and everything

Sunoo please you're my age STAPHH

MAKES AND TRIES YOUR WEIRD CRAVINGS

Will probably be disgusted by birth but he's a strong sailor he pulls through

Mentally breakdowns while holding your child because omg she's so tiny!!!

Mint choco lover agenda lessons starts from day 1

No child of Sunoo's is gonna hate mint choco

Daddy-daughter dates are a MUST

Loved bonding with her so much

Will definitely do her hair if she decides to grow it long

AND WILL GO TO SELF DEFENCE CLASSES WITH HER I WILL DIE BY THIS HILL

Sunoo I am a weak woman STOP

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rottenpumpkin13 · 1 month

Text

Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6

Previous: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.

Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*

Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*

Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*

Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"

Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"

Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*

Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.

Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.

Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.

Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.

Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.

Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?

Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.

Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.

Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.

Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(

Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.

Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.

Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?

Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?

Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.

Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.

Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*

Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.

Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.

Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?

Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.

Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.

Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.

Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??

Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster

Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.

Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.

Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.

Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.

Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.

Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.

Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.

Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.

Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.

Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!

Genesis: He's a son of a bitch Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.

Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*

Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.

Sephiroth: Damn.

Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.

Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?

Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?

Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*

Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.

Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.

Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.

Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.

Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.

Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.

Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.

Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #ffvii crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 crisis core #angeal hewley #ff7r #crisis core #incorrect ffvii #roche ff7r #kunsel ff7 #lazard deusericus

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boyfhees · 2 years

Text

🗗 REFUSING TO RECOGNIZE THEM WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

FT. oikawa, kuroo, atsumu, akaashi, bokuto

W. mentions of drinking

AN. reposting :( i only found one taglist, i'll add the second one when i do :(

OIKAWA!

offended because he's your boyfriend and you refuse to recognize him. it's just a series of 'y/n i'm your boyfriend,' and 'no, you're not. my boyfriend is prettier,' he's literally suffering because it's getting late and people keep giving him weird looks. tries to convince you using pictures in his phone but still no avail because, "listen mister, i know how photoshopping works." is all you say, paying no attention to his words. finally gives up and helps you sober up a bit before you recognize him and you both leave after two hours of constant suffering. literally tells you not to use your brain when you're drunk because the photoshopping move took him away.

KUROO!

finds it interesting and decides to play along. says "your boyfriend doesn't have to know," with his famous shit eating grin, however, is taken aback as you gasp and slap his hand away from you. kuroo is happy that even in the lack of soberness, you won't go with any other man but at this point, it's getting too much and he's just exhausted. says something like, "let's go home, y/n," and grabs your hand, only to get punched in the face. he hopes his nose isn't broken. takes you home once you realize that he's your boyfriend because "you both look a little too similar— oh, tetsu?!" you're a little too late, y/n. please buckle up because you aren't hearing a end of this anytime soon and kuroo is the type to hold grudges <3

ATSUMU!

so fucking embarrassed because you just said, "i will report you for sexual assault," a little too loud and the people around are now sending him glares. as much as he loves you, he might really be regretting some decisions and the one to let you drink alone is on the top of the list. had to clarify using pictures on his phone and other things before someone calls cops on him. for some reason you remember osamu even when you're wasted ( which he's still offended about ) and call him to help you get home. you wouldn't stop saying things like, "samu, who is this weird man? where is tsum?" and it pains him physically.

AKAASHI!

tired. it's late night and he wants to sleep so bad. doesn't take shit from anyone, just picks you up and walks out. ( akaashi is very capable of that, i know ) definitely gets weird stares about it but no one really questions since you aren't opposed to his actions. if you don't recognize him, he washes you face until you get a minimum hold of yourself. turns out you actually recognized him a while later and apologize to him the next morning. he doesn't let you drink alone ever again. kinda salty that you didn't try to stop him when he picked you up because it could've been anyone else. just be ready for a lecture.

BOKUTO!

in tears, honestly. it's not like you accidently hit him or anything. you're not even listening to him. he's the sitting beside you, begging you to come with him while you keep rambling about how amazing and hot your boyfriend is. and as much as he likes compliments, he clearly doesn't appreciate them at 2 am when you refuse to recognize him. "y/n, let's go home," — "you know, kou used to call me that," — "that's because it's your name?!" — yeah you have this moment with him and it kills you the next morning because you remember everything. when he asks you to come home a little too firmly, you glare at him and refuse, saying that you already have a boyfriend, he's not sure if he should be happy or crying. finally you pass you and he takes you home, sigh <3

taglist in the rbs.

#prod. — caelin.#album. — haikyuu.#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu fic #oikawa fic #kuroo fic #bokuto fic #atsumu fic #haikyuu fluff #kuroo fluff #atsumu fluff #bokuto fluff #akaashi fluff #oikawa fluff

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d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n · 11 months

Text

you're on your own kid.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You had a rough childhood, what with an absent father and a piece of shit mother. When a family dinner goes wrong, how do you stop your brain from spiraling? How do you convince yourself you're not alone? A certain blue-eyed, metal-armed avenger, of course.

Word Count: 3.3K

Warnings: Eating Disorders/Weight Related Talk, Blood, Injury, Kinda Self Harm, Child Abuse [PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE TOPICS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!]

Author's Note: I don't really know what this is. Sorry, I've been MIA for so long. Not my best work. Sorry.

You squirmed in your seat, fidgeting with your sleeves. It was awkward being at home after so long. You hadn't been home for four years almost - and it had probably been even longer since you'd sat at this table. Your mother sat across the table from you - her gaze heavy on your head. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, your brother had joked.

He was sitting next to you, his knee gently brushing against yours. A placating movement. He was trying to keep the peace - enjoying the first meal that you had had as a family in a long while. You don't know what it was that made you seek them out. Maybe if you had waited a week, you would have thought about the facts, rather than the feelings. Maybe if you had waited a week, you wouldn't be sitting here with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You sat in silence, playing with the food on your plate. Your mother was of the almond variety, weighing out plates before passing them around the table. You didn't have much to talk about. Things hadn't ended well the last time the two of you spoke.

Your brother chimed in with the odd question - 'How's your gardening coming along, mom?' or 'How's the new job, sis? What's it like working for the Avengers?'. You'd humour him until your mother's disapproving stares became too much and then you'd shut up. He'd give you a sad sort of pitying smile, before returning to his food.

Dinner was long - even it was less than the traditional three courses. Your brother packed up some extra food, and took it home - he only lived about a half mile away so it made sense for him to go home. You made to go with him but your mother insisted you stay with her. "I made up your room, just the way you like it."

You doubted it. But you smiled anyway and hugged your brother tightly. He whispered that 'you would be fine' and 'it's only one night' and maybe for a second you believed him. As soon as he left, you headed to bed, claiming that 'The trip was long, ma, I'm super tired.'

The look on her face screamed that she didn't believe you. But she waved you good night and headed to the kitchen to find her favourite bottle of scotch.

You opened the door to your childhood bedroom to find it almost the same. The pink walls and bedcovers were suffocating, the blinds drawn shut to create this overwhelming feeling of being trapped. You were. Trapped.

You took your jumper off, laid it over your vanity chair, and jumped onto the bed. It was comfortable, but lying there staring at the ceiling brought back all the horrible memories you tried to suppress. Diet pills and weighing scales, small plates and vomiting, screaming and crying, sirens and hospital bills. Tears streamed down your face as curled up onto your side.

It was almost midnight when you heard your mother walk up the stairs. You knew she was drunk - her steps were loud and out of sync, and the bottle in her hand frequently tapped the banister as she tried to stabilise herself on it. You half expected her to keep walking, cross the landing, and fall dead asleep on her bed.

Instead, your door creaked open and you came face to face with her. Her glassy eyes were rimmed with red - she'd been crying too. Her eyes raked over you and suddenly you wished you'd never come back at all.

"Such a shame," she whispered, "You could have been so much more."

"Ma?"

"You were always... the best. The prettiest. The skinniest. You could have been incredible. Instead, you are... nobody."

Her words cut deep but you tried to ignore them. You were somebody. You worked for the Avengers, you were a top-level agent for SHIELD. You helped save the world.

"I tried my best. To help you. But you were ungrateful," Your mother stalked closer, her sadness giving way to anger, "conceited, convinced that you could be anything more than what I made you. But you were wrong. I created you. Without me, THERE IS NO YOU." She launched the bottle at your head and it shattered at the wall behind you.

She kept screaming, but you tuned her out, slipping off the bed and grabbing your jumper and keys. You ran past her, shoving her hard as she tried to grab you and ran out to your car. She watched you go screaming abuse after you, telling you to 'never step foot inside her house again.' You weren't planning to.

You drove like a madman back to upstate - traffic was pretty light considering the ungodly hour. You parked haphazardly - Tony would probably murder you for it in the morning but you couldn't find it within yourself to care. You trudged upstairs, footfalls far too heavy for someone is literally a superspy, but this was your home. You weren't running from anyone in here.

You were so stuck in your own head that you didn't realise that Bucky was sitting in the living room, watching as you walked into the kitchen. He'd heard your footsteps and he was worried. You never walked that heavily.

"Everything ok, doll?"

You looked up at him, not registering a word he said. He stood up and walked over to you, fingers reaching up to stroke your face.

"You good?" He whispered, his forehead almost touching yours.

You pulled away from his touch, even though your body was screaming for you to collapse into his open arms. "Yeah, Buck, fine. See you in the morning for training." You stepped past him, heading for the stairs.

"Yeah, doll. See you in the morning."

The morning came around far quicker than you'd hoped. You had barely slept, tossing and turning all night, your mother's words ringing through your head.

Eventually, you realised it was a futile effort. You might as well get up and be productive. You found yourself in the gym just as the sun came up, face to face with a heavy bag. You clenched your wrapped fists before shaking the sleep out of your system.

Your hits were precise, measured, calculated. If there was one thing no one could fault you for, it was your skills. You were an impeccable agent. If only your mum could see that. You took your rage out on the heavy bag, pouring every ounce of resent in your body into your punches. Sweat beaded on your forehead, the exertion making your breaths heavier and your knuckles sting. You kept punching, time slipping away from you.

You heard the door to the gym open, and someone was talking. Their voice was muted, almost as if your head was underwater. Between the punches and your tiredness, nothing registered in your foggy mind. From the distance you could hear footsteps, getting louder almost as if they were walking towards you.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when a hand brushed against your shoulder. You spun around ready to cuss out whichever stupid rookie decided to bother you so early in the morning. You were surprised to see familiar eyes boring into yours.

"I called your name, you know," Bucky said, his hands moving to rest on your waist, "twice. I even dropped my bag next to yours to get your attention."

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"I can tell," Bucky's thumbs drew circles on your waist, absentmindedly, "Where's that pretty mind been at lately?"

"What do you want, Barnes?"

"I'm worried. About you. You haven't been yourself lately. What's going on?"

"Nothing." You sighed, removing yourself from his grasp, "Missions, reports, meetings. It's tiring."

"Maybe you take a holiday? Try and relax a bit?" You could hear the genuine concern in his voice but you still rolled your eyes.

"Maybe you mind your own fucking business, Barnes? Don't you have other shit to be doing apart from hovering over me?" You grabbed your stuff, refusing to make eye contact with him, and walked out.

"I'm still seeing you for training right?" You hear him call after you, but you keep walking. You let out a shaky breath as soon as you got into the elevator.

He didn't see you for training. Or after.

You'd skipped training in favour of going on a run with Steve and then you had to file a few mission reports. You'd holed yourself up in your office, manila files piling up on the corner of your desk your fingers brushing over the keys with seasoned speed. Bucky had wanted to stop by but given your odd behaviour in the morning, he'd decided against it.

You were glad. You hated that Bucky could see right through you, even when you tried your best to hide it. Especially because you were irrevocably in love with him.

You'd been in love with him ever since you'd started working at the compound. Bucky was one of the few people to notice you and your efficiency. You became one of his preferred mission partners, a fact of which you were very proud. You quickly became one of his favourite people, period, and Bucky even went so far as to blow off Steve to spend time with you.

It hurt you to keep him at arm's length but you knew it was for the best. You remembered what your father told you the night before he left. You're on your own kid. You always have been.

You were given a mission assignment in the evening, with strict instructions of 'wheels up at 0600.' The early pickup time wasn't strange and you were itching to get out of the compound. You packed your bag up, leaving it by the door, and headed to bed.

Another restless night of sleep was the last thing you needed, but you were up and at the hangar waiting for Captain Rogers by 0600. He smiled when he saw you and handed you a coffee. You smiled. Your first real smile since you visited your parents.

"Good luck out there." A voice calls from behind you. You freeze. Bucky jogs towards you both, his eyes betraying his tiredness. Steve's face breaks into a grin at the sight of his old friend. Steve throws his arms around Bucky.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back," Steve says, his joking tone making Bucky laugh.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

You want to smile at the sight of the two of them together but you held yourself back. You walked towards the quinjet, ready to get this show on the road when you hear Bucky clearing his voice behind you.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Onto the quinjet?"

"Not without a hug, you're not." You sigh but trudge down the steps to give him a half-arsed side hug. He pulls you in tight, and whispers into your hair, "When you get back, we're gonna talk. Okay?"

You don't respond, brushing him off and climbing into the jet. Steve follows you in, dropping his bag next to yours, before turning back to wave at Bucky.

"Don't worry, Buck, I'll take good care of your girl."

His girl. That sounded nice. You shook the thought away before elbowing Steve in the sight. Jokingly of course, but he still doubled over for effect. Bucky burst into laughter.

That was the last thing you saw as the door went up.

The mission was hard. Not terrible - no one died, which was a win in your book - but it wasn't fun. Multiple shootouts, car chases, and three hours of hiding in a dumpster later, you were ready to nap for a week. But, alas, Fury had set a debrief at 8 the next morning, which meant that you had - you checked the clock on your microwave - 6 hours at best.

You dropped your bag on the sofa and headed into the bathroom. You unzipped your utility vest, dropping it on the floor. You needed to disinfect it - god knows what had stained that vest. You pulled up your compression shirt, wincing as the flecks of red came into view. You quickly stripped it off, dropping it in the washing basket, before whipping back around. You caught your own reflection in the mirror and tilted your head, taking in your reflection of your body. Your mother's words played back in your head. Maybe your mother had a point.

You quickly shook your head, dispelling those horrible thoughts from your mind. But still, you continued to stare at your body, scrutinising every feature. I mean, sure you weren't as skinny as you used to be, but that's because you had muscle now, right? And the hamburger you had for lunch was a treat - you know for completing the mission? The super important mission that you were on because you are important and you are somebody and you have value and you are someone without your mum. Don't you? And it's ok that you can't see your ribs because actually you have abs now and that's way more attractive. Right? And.. and... and....

SMASH.

Broken glass was shattered all around you, fragments piercing your skin. Your mirror now had a fist-shaped hole in the middle, from where your sadness had quickly bled into anger.

You cradled your bloodied fist in your hand, sinking to the ground as sobs racked through your body. Glass dug into your knees as they hit the floor and you curled your hands into your chest. Hurtful 'what ifs' swirled through your head, stealing your breath and making it almost impossible to breathe.

Pounding on your door broke you out of your thoughts. You tried to regain your bearings. It was 2 am. You were in your apartment, the apartment that was miles away from the compound, that you lived in alone. Who the hell would be at your door right now?

You were silent, breath bated as you waited for the stranger to go away. They banged on the door again.

"Doll, I swear to god, if you don't let me in, I'm going to break your fucking door down."

You knew that voice anywhere. The knowledge that you weren't alone, that he was here for you, that Bucky wouldn't make you suffer alone brought new tears to your eyes. Fresh sobs burst from your chest as you tried to move. Glass shards were stabbing into your legs, and one of your hands was bleeding profusely. Bucky, your safety net, was so close and yet so far.

"Doll? Doll, I can hear you. Doll, please, please let me in." You could hear the panic in his voice as he struggled with his conscience. You tried to move but the pain was excruciating. A pained scream erupted from your lips.

A loud bang came from your front door, followed by heavy and fast footsteps.

"Where are you, doll? Come on, just come and talk to me." He said, sweeping through your living room. You whimpered from the bathroom, his enhanced hearing focussing on even the smallest of sounds.

He quickly found his way into the bathroom, his eyes raking over your hunched figure, before flitting to the broken mirror and the shards of glass on the ground.

"Oh doll," he whispered, bending down to scoop you up from the floor. He cradled you gently as he carried you from the bathroom into your bedroom. "What happened, doll? Talk to me."

You looked up at him, trying to figure out where to start. You blanked. You couldn't find a good place to start the story that would cause you the least pain. Your mouth opened and closed a few times with no sound coming out. Bucky rested his hand against yours, trying to reassure you to take your time, but the sound of your wince drew his attention to your hands.

"Doll, your hands." He grabbed your hands gently, peering at your knuckles. They were mauled, glass sticking out of torn-up skin, "What did you do?" He stood up, walking into your kitchen to grab the first aid kit he knew was under the sink. Watching him walk around like he owned the place made some small part of your heart happy - it was almost as if your dreams, your darkest-held fantasies, were coming true.

Bucky kneeled in front of you, placing the first aid kit beside him. He brushed all the glass shards off your legs - luckily none of them had been embedded into your skin. He cleaned any small scratches before turning to your knuckles. The sight of your knuckles made him wince and you started to pull them away. Bucky leveled you with a look that said, let me take care of you. You let him. He sterilised a pair of tweezers and got to work pulling the shards of glass out of your knuckles. You sat in silence for a while, Bucky diligently working on your knuckles, and you watching the swiftness with which he worked.

"Why did you punch the mirror, doll?" Bucky asked after a while.

"I was angry," you whispered, your voice deathly quiet. Now that the rage was gone, all you had left was embarrassment.

"And why were you angry?" Bucky coaxed, his eyes pleading for some answers. He pulled out the last shard of glass before swiping an alcohol wipe over your knuckles and bandaging them up. He packed up all the items back into the first aid box and went to put it away and wash his hands.

You were still sat on the bed contemplating your answer when he got back. He knelt in front of you again, before he rested his hands on your face, "Why were you angry doll?"

"I didn't like it." You whispered, pulling your body away from him.

"What didn't you like?" Bucky's eyes stared into yours and you suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. You tried to remove yourself from his all-seeing, mind-reading gaze, but he didn't let you. He pulled you into his lap, and you hid your face in his neck. His beard tickled your forehead as you nestled into him, trying to seek out the comfort you so desperately needed but didn't know how to ask for.

"Me." You said, your head turned away from him as you stared at your hands.

"What?"

"I didn't like me." Your voice started to shake as you tried to find the right words to tell him the truth, the whole honest godforsaken truth, but you couldn't.

Bucky seemed to read your mind, "It's ok, take your time. We don't have to talk about this today. We can come back to it later, when you're feeling up for it, okay?" You nodded, burrowing further into him, "You wanna sleep?"

You nodded again, and Bucky shifted, wrapping his arms around you so he could gently place you down on the bed. He removed his arms from underneath you and tucked you into bed, gently kissing your forehead as you turned to leave. You whined.

"Pleasedon'tgoBuck-" You mumbled, sleep quickly pulling you under. He smiled, perching himself on the end of the bed.

"You sure you want me to say, sweetheart? Not sure you'll ever get rid of me if I stay?"

"I promise. Never want you to go." You said, clinging to his arm and pulling him back into bed.

You slipped into an easy slumber as Bucky shuffled around in your room. Maybe you didn't have to be on your own anymore.

fin.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky imagine #no y/n #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes

487 notes · View notes

xreaderbooks · 4 months

Text

Reward | Leo Valdez

Summary: Reader has had enough to worry about without her boyfriend coming to ask her for help with a homework assignment.

based on this request

Warnings: Language, Aged-up, fluff, making out like constantly, very slight angst, readers bad at math (cuz i'm bad at math and i cant fake it for the fic)

Word Count: 1.8k

PJO/HOO Masterlist | Navi | Masterlist of Masterlists

"You want me to help you?" A quizzical look befell your face as you look up from your spot under the shaded tree. You sat by the edge of the lake, you were taking a quick break hiding from the younger campers who wanted to train with you as you were a crowd favorite with the new arrivals. You just needed a recharge, a moment away from the energy that overexerted you. "Of all people?"

Leo rolled his eyes, "Who else?"

You snorted, "Cabin 6 is that way." You pointed and nodded your head in the direction of the Goddess of Wisdom's cabin, filled with the brightest minds and much better options to help Leo with his current request.

"C'mon baby, please?" Your boyfriend pouted and lowered his chin to gain your favor with his golden brown eyes that, you were afraid to admit, made you weak.

"But I'm tired and I want to take a nap, using my brain will probably kill me at this point."

He knelt with outreached hands, you allowed him to hold both of your palms in his own, you should have known better. He used his strength to pull you up from the ground and brought you to his chest, his hands settled on your hips.

Instinctively you looped your arms around his neck and rolled your head to the right, tilted perfectly for him to mold his lips to yours. And he did, pecking chaste kisses onto your lips, pleading with you to join him in Bunker 9.

"I suppose I could be persuaded," You nudged your nose against his.

~~~

The moment you arrived inside the bunker and saw his work table, normally filled with scattered tools and mechanical pieces that were in the process of being fixed or tweaked, was now littered with papers.

Leo's homework was divided into five different sections that had their respective piles. "By some miracle, I finished everything else, now all I'm missing is this." He reveals papers that were held behind his back.

"Math." You skim the equations on the document in your hands, nothing on this page was anything you would be able to help him with.

The smirk on his face made you glare at him and fold your arms stubbornly, "Yup," Leo rolled two chairs over to the desk that felt like your new timeout spot.

"Honestly, I feel like I shouldn't be subjected to torture because you decided to take courses over the summer."

"What happened to 'you die, I die'?" He reiterated the phrase you had spoken to him as a sort of mantra during the war. Your jaw dropped at the use of them being thrown back in your face and quickly shut it close.

"In the face of war!" You exclaimed and shrugged it off, "Just for that, you can die alone."

"I did, it wasn't my vibe," He twirled a strand of your hair, and let it fall back into place, stepping back with a hand on his hip leaning the other on the table. "Aren't you testy today?"

"It's been a day, the kids were hard to gather and once I had them riled up they wanted to learn this specific trick they've seen me do but how many times can I let them down gently and tell them they need to learn the basics- drills that they've repeated hundreds of times, that some still aren't getting and will possibly die if they get caught by a monster if they don't get-" You inhale deeply, "So what do I do? I let them learn the hard way to get it through their heads that it's not as simple as it looks and I've only managed after years of fucking practice. And you know what?"

"What?" You wanted to smack the amused smirk off of Leo's pretty face.

"They didn't pick it up like I knew they wouldn't, now they hate me but still wanna train with me because they still want me to teach them. My body is sore, I'm tired and I hate you for making me do homework," You pout.

He approaches you with caution, slowly caressing your cheeks in his hands, he presses his lips against yours that were currently being smushed together by his hands. It was a quick but meaningful kiss, only for him to say "I'm going to fail if I don't get this done."

"Leo!" You push him away from you. "What the hell do you mean, you're going to fail, you've been cooped up in here all summer!"

A sheepish smile and pink-dusted cheeks appear at your sudden outburst, he chuckles nervously knowing he just put the cherry on top of your already bad day. "I've been behind on a couple of assignments and I've finished most of them already, I'm mostly caught up"

"Mostly?" You were going to strangle him. You haven't spent much time together lately because of his homework. He decided to take summer classes to get ahead, and he's been busy ever since. You were constantly teaching the younger campers, and helping out around camp, whether in the infirmary or setting up activities to keep busy and you loved it but you missed your boyfriend.

"But Nyssa had this project she'd been working on and I couldn't help it."

You rolled your eyes and sighed, you couldn't be upset with him- not completely, you understood how hard it was for Leo to stay focused on a task that wasn't something he could physically tinker with, but there had been moments where you wanted to just be with him in his presence and you stopped yourself from going to him knowing that you'd only be a distraction.

"I promise this is the only one left," He takes your hand and leads you to sit on a chair then sits in another one next to you.

"I'm so annoyed with you right now," You snatch the paper and look over the equations.

An hour and a half into the 50-question work packet, you and Leo moved to the mattress lifted by wooden pallets used for shipping crates. 36 out of 50 equations were done, with work shown, Leo had barely any trouble working on it as he was naturally good with numbers you weren't sure you were needed at all.

You solved a couple for him when he got bored and started leaving trails of kisses from your cheek to your neck and shoulder, you were sure the answer was right and took a break, though when he pulled out of his dazed and loving state he looked over it and kissed you deeply.

"What was that for?" You asked in a whisper.

"A reward," He held your chin with his forefinger and thumb, pecking your cheek. "For helping me with my homework."

"Well, if I don't help you get this done, who will?"

"Malcolm and I are pretty tight," Leo has a deep stare on your lips, his thumb swipes your swollen bottom lip. "You've also got eight of them wrong, Mi Amor."

"I did nine of them," You did the math- that you weren't good at in your head, piecing together that you indeed sucked. "Why'd you ask me to help you, if you knew that I couldn't do math."

"I wanted to be around you, it's been a while since we've been alone." He toys with the bracelet he gifted you on your first anniversary, five charms for the five years you've been together since you confessed your feelings at age 17 after the war ended. You met at age 15 when Annabeth brought him to camp, and the rest is history.

"I'm still annoyed at you, you know, just because I've let you kiss me a couple of times doesn't mean-" He cuts you off with another kiss like earlier, catching you off-guard, intense and full of feeling. You immediately kiss back, not having the willpower to not, succumb to the charms he begrudgingly has on you.

You deepen the kiss by entangling your hands in his hair pulling his impossibly closer, it was a synchronized dance at first, the years of being used to the pattern of each other's kiss being shown in the heavy minutes of your mouths moving together in passion. It soon became heated, teeth clashing, tongues moving sloppily, mouths chasing each other after breaking apart two seconds at a time for breath.

Leo gently laid you on your back, breaking apart to take off his shirt, the moment it slipped off you brought him down to you, he fit perfectly between your legs. You gasp at the sensation of him grinding against you. He parts his lips from yours, to which you whine softly. He licks a stripe from your neck to your jaw and sucks until he's satisfied with the way you sigh and rock your body up and clutching onto the blades on his shoulders on his back.

He repeats licking, sucking, and kissing soft kisses as an apology for the spots he bit until you were sore.

You pull away from him and flip your bodies so that you are on top, you grab his wrists and pin them to the top of the pillows to see his reaction and wanting to be in control for a while. You gave him the same treatment and brought your body lower so that you could kiss all over his chest and back up.

You sat up to breathe fresh air, straddling him and releasing his hands only for him to intertwine his hands with yours and play with your fingers. He bucks his hips up playfully, and you jump slightly, your eyes widen for a second, and your lips turn up in a grin.

"You've gotten better at not... you know," You hint at the control Leo's gained with his fire powers. Heated makeouts like this were often interrupted by the smell of smoke or his skin feeling feverish.

He lets go of your hands and places his larger hands on your hips, you ignore the butterflies that flutter in your heart and stomach at the way he rubs up your waist and hips. "My hair was steaming earlier, I was hoping you didn't notice, thankfully you didn't or this would've been awkward."

"It's not awkward when that happens Leo, it's a little funny, to be honest, part of the reason why I love you." You tell him earnestly, "Nothing's awkward with you, you're my best friend."

"I love you," Leo responds with unwavering eyes on yours. "I'm sorry for the time we lost."

"It's okay, we were just making up for it."

~~~

holy gods, I haven't read this series in forever

I feel like it's a crime to admit I haven't read the new book yet, i'm rereading the series and waiting for the episodes to come out before i watch the show so im going in timeline order... just wanted to let y'all know. oh, and also i haven't fully read the trials of apollo which i know has info on where the HoO people are at in their lives that i'm not aware of...

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deadwasteland-dazaisfan · 3 months

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ִ ࣪𖤐Teenage romance₊˚⊹ ᰔ

ᯓ★Synopsis: Being in a relationship with Dazai Osamu seemed like a huge problem to you, because his behavior often made you confused, and everything suggested that he would remain a silly guy who would remain alone for the rest of his days. But one day you had to realize that this wouldn't happen. Because he has you in his life.

ᯓ★Pairing: pm!dazai×fem!reader (both 16-18y.o);

ᯓ★Contains: fluff/comfort, hugs, kisses, hanging out together, teenage romance, nonsense, pm!reader, mention of murders, mention of criminal organizations drabble&headcanons, sfw, affection, mention suicide attempt;

| author's note: This is my first work, I hope you'll like it. Please don't judge too harshly I tried my best ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა |

The whole situation was so strange and unexpected for you that you really didn't understand where you were and what you needed to do. When you woke up in a dimly lit room, you found yourself lying in a room that looked like an infirmary. There was practically nothing around. There were no sounds either, but they soon appeared. There was a door at the end of this room, as you assumed, there was a corridor behind it. It turned out to be true.

A couple of minutes after you woke up, the door opened a crack, and a guy came in — funny shaggy hair, dark eyes, bangs on half of his face and a bandage covering one eye. He was dressed quite formally—a white shirt (although slightly frayed and wrinkled), a black tie, black trousers and shoes. He had a black jacket slung over one arm, he looked rather rumpled and seemed tired. Sitting down on the bed, you looked at the boy with bewilderment and suspicion when he finally came up to you and scratched the back of his head. Yawning lazily, he said:

«Well, hi, silly suicidal. Mori-san asked me to give you something, but I don't think you need it right now. Congratulations! Oh, though... It would probably be more accurate for me to say that I'm sorry, though...Aaaahhh, okay, never mind. I'm Osamu Dazai, don't be surprised, you survived your failed attempt and Mori-san and I dragged you here. He wants to recruit you...So you'd better come to your senses as soon as possible and come to his office. He doesn't like to wait too long... In short, you have no choice. Come on, get up! Can you walk?»

He gave you a dubious squint that made your skin crawl, and then silently walked away. He pulled out a small old chair (which you didn't notice right away), sat down on it, and crossing one leg over the other, began to read a small red book. Still in a strange trance state, you didn't even understand how he was doing everything, it was hard for you to figure out where you were sitting at all. After a couple of minutes of silence in the room, you finally came to your senses a little — you noticed that the room was not so empty, you were sitting on a fairly soft bunk, somewhere above there was a small window through which white light entered the room.

After that, you had the next challenge — to talk to this unknown. He has already introduced himself, and you instantly remembered his name. But still, he didn't mention where you were or who he was at all... So, swallowing hard, you turned your head, but then froze when you found that he was already looking at you. With a sigh, the boy put the book on his lap and looked at the ceiling, muttering

«You're probably wondering where you are and all that... Well, you're in the infirmary of Yokohama's main criminal organization, the Port Mafia. Welcome. No, don't worry, we won't kill or torture you. The boss has slightly different plans for you. But still... You know, if I were you, I'd think twice about choosing this stupid, absolutely shitty way! I'm sorry, but do you even have a brain? To what extent does one have to be a stupid girl to use such a non-working method! And yes, you don't have to ask about all the details of your "rescue." I'll just say one thing — you looked lousy. Yes, however, nothing has changed now...»

Finally, he fell silent, continuing to stare at the ceiling for a while, and then turned his gaze to you. Maybe it was time for you to introduce yourself?...

«You said your boss wants to hire me... Why does he need this?... I... I'm probably grateful for the rescue, but... What does he want?...»

Dazai just raised one eyebrow and then looked away, continuing the dialogue:

«Well, obviously he saw something useful in you for the mafia. He will definitely find a job for you, especially since our staff is very small now. Well, according to him, he just couldn't leave such a poor thing to die»

You've got your head down. The answer was obvious, and why didn't it immediately occur to you? Then you should have introduced yourself properly. You made some kind of pathetic gurgling sound, after which you quietly whispered:

«My name is... My name is Y/N...»

The young mafia turned a curious look at you and got up from his seat. Putting his hands on his hips, he said:

«Yeah, so Y/N you said... Okay. Come on, let's go. The boss should see you before lunch»

You carefully shifted on your bunk, and then lowered your feet to the floor, still sitting. But the real problem for you was getting up — no matter how much you tried to lift yourself, nothing came out. Apparently, your body is very weak, and your legs are numb. You began to have a slight panic, tears began to come to your eyes, and you began to suffocate from them. But it didn't take you a second when Osamu came up to you and gently pulled on your arms, and you were finally on your feet. Exhaling, you were about to take the first step, but the guy stopped you with the words "Where are we going?" after that, he easily picked you up in his arms. It was so unexpected that you squeaked, but he shushed you and said in a dissatisfied tone:

«Hey, I actually don't want you to break all your legs or overwork yourself... Anyway, it's not profitable for the mafia to keep you here for a few days.»

you were more than ready to object, but for some reason your inner self told you to keep quiet. Apparently, this was not the right situation for outrage.

So, after some time, you finally got out of the Mafia boss's office. Dazai seems to have understood everything in the blink of an eye from your distorted face. You were accepted, and now you could consider him a "colleague." He somehow abruptly and very unexpectedly jumped up to you and smiled broadly, said:

«Well, now you are one of us!»

This was your first meeting.

❛━━━━━━━ ••• ━━━━━━━❜

And then everything went the way you couldn't have expected, but it's not that you didn't like it. Conversely.

You had to go through many situations and complete many missions together. He also introduced you to other members of the Port Mafia. You were received very cordially, and, frankly, it warmed your heart.

Osamu kept saying how unprepared you were to work in this organization, and that you shouldn't have been here at all, but he supposedly couldn't contradict Mori (Of course, he was a brazen liar— he was the one who begged so desperately to keep you in the mafia for his own good). In short, you got along, you became even more than just colleagues.

One of the situations that you remember the most was how you fooled around and played cards together. It was funny, even though you never managed to win. But you always laughed maliciously when the intense struggle between Odasaku and Dazai continued without your participation. You knew that Oda would always have a way to beat the youngster, so you weren't surprised by Sakunosuke's next victory.

Basically, you've always been a witness to the endless quarrels and swearing between Dazai and Nakahara. It all got to such an extent that you started to get a headache from their shouts of indignation (it's good if they used only speech, and did not get into a frenzied fight). In the end, you just got up and left, but both boys, catching themselves in time, immediately fell silent and quickly followed you, simultaneously apologizing for their antics (in fact, while you were silent, they continued to whisper insults). You didn't have much choice, you were a kind-hearted person, so you just couldn't get mad at them.

But even though they "hated" each other, they were ready to unite at any moment just for the sake of your safety. You were a valuable person to them, not only in terms of being a mafia member — everyone knew perfectly well that one day you would have to make a choice.

But you were like friends with Chuuya — it seems that even on his part there was no initiative to enter into a romantic relationship. You spent no less time together than with Dazai (which made him, by the way, jealous, but of course he would never admit it). So at some point Osamu realized that it was time to throw away the final card. Many of your memories from the mafia are quite clouded — it is clear that the job was not easy, and there was not much light and fun there. But you will always remember the moments spent with a bandaged mafia member.

Your belated winter walks, when it's already starting to get dark outside, and many teenagers your age are already running home, worried that something might happen to them or their parents will scold them. But of course you weren't like that, because you are a fearless mafia that can walk around whenever and wherever you want.

Although many called him a "Demon-Prodigy" you could only agree with one part of that nickname — he was indeed a prodigy, but a demon perhaps only in appearance. He kept in himself those weakened, smoldering particles of warmth and love that he allowed to warm his heart only with you and Odasaku.

And you, like no one else, saw it and appreciated it. Perhaps you didn't even realize it yourself, but at some point your heart literally began to ache from the accumulated warm feelings for him. You endured this mental anguish because you were sure that he didn't need it, or he would reject you.

But fortunately, none of this happened.

You remember how you went for a walk in the snowfall, and you caught snowflakes in your mouth, and he called you stupid, but you didn't care. You called him stupid when he threw a nice snowball at you with all his might... You remember when the skin on your cheeks and hands was already starting to pinch and tighten from the cold, and you were laughing while you were fighting, and he always throw you to the deflection, and you landed in a giant snowdrift. All your clothes were soaked from the snow, and Dazai only stopped laughing when he saw you desperately trying to keep warm, shivering from the cold. Then it finally dawned on him, and you quickly went to the mafia building or to his "home". He wasn't particularly proud of his house, which was just a shipping container. So basically he took you to the mafia building, but if you insisted, he could agree to spend some time with you at his house.

In winter, Osamu was a real simpleton — he almost never wore a hat, scarf, or mittens. It could be bitterly cold outside, but he still went out without any warm clothes. His warm wardrobe for the winter was everything he wore in all other seasons, and the only thing that was added was a warm black coat that Odasaku gave him. You were always cursing why he was walking around with uncovered head and not dressed properly, but he waved you off and ignored your requests to wear a hat/scarf.

But still, one day, when you, having excellent knitting skills, knitted him cute warm mittens, he grunted with displeasure and took them without saying a word. However, during your next walk, you noticed that he was wearing them.

Right after that, you started knitting him a scarf, and after a couple of weeks it was ready. You also packed it as a small present, but as usual, Osamu did not appreciate your efforts with the decoration; but he wore the scarf all the time (not without your reminders ofc).

You wanted to go to the rink together to try yourself at it, but unfortunately, by the time you remembered your intentions, all the rinks were already closed, so you had to postpone this entertainment for the next year.

When spring came, everything always changed somehow: the mood improved, the work went easier, and everyone began to live a little better. This wonderful time of the year was something enlivening. Everyone knows that it is in spring that you can catch a wonderful natural phenomenon — cherry blossoms. The second name is hanami. You really loved these few short days when you could catch this sight. And Dazai, knowing this, finally decided to hint at inviting you to go with him one day (of course, he consulted with Oda and Hirotsu before). He's very lucky that you didn't hesitate to agree.

The preparation for the traditional holiday took place slowly, you managed to do all your business and buy all the necessary attributes. On the day of the celebration, you were wearing a very beautiful kimono in delicate, light shades, and Dazai made do with a simple dark haori. Don't have to mention that he was fooling around for almost half of your walk, but at some points he was unusually serious. You were a little confused by his sudden mood swings, but given his nature, you weren't too surprised. This youngster was unpredictable.

Admiring sakura went great, although Osamu managed to piss you off a couple of times. You saw his face when his dark eyes were staring into the distance, looking at the delicate pink, mixed with white petals slowly flying down — it was a look of anxiety and peace at the same time. And yet, a slight smile touched his lips.

Time passed, your relationship was at a stable level, but still your heart felt the insufficiency that the lack of love gave you. You tried to overcome these feelings with all your might, but nothing came out; it got to the point that one day you had a dream with him; but it was very touching and gentle — a spacious field, waving grass, a cool breeze and a scorching sun, and in the middle of it you, and only you two. More than half of the summer has already passed; Work has not stopped, of course, there are no summer holidays or vacations in the mafia. But sometimes you and Mr. Bandaged Mummy managed to get out of the hectic world of blood and murder.

It was very hot, and you couldn't stand the heat, so you tried to stay in places where the temperature was more or less stable or slightly cool. You always have taken ice cream from the same stall: Dazai has always chosen some strange and tasteless ones, but of course this is only in your opinion. You took your favorite flavor, and often offered him a taste, but he always refused. Boring jerk.

And one day it happened.

His birthday has just passed; it was only a couple of days later, when his 2-day absence from work became suspicious, and you found out that he had made another attempt on his holiday. It was like it cut into your heart — it was so painful to realize it. You tried to contact him somehow, called him, but he seemed to have forgotten about the existence of his phone. You knew it wouldn't be the best idea to show up on his doorstep, so you just had to wait him to show up himself.

And you remember that day by heart: when the bell rang at your door, then a small knock in confirmation. You immediately went to the door and opened it... Osamu was behind. You saw him like this for the first time — with a slight smirk on his lips, an apologetic expression on his face and ...a bouquet of white lilies... You didn't know why, but in that quiet moment when you saw him, you caught your breath and almost burst into tears.

All the emotions mixed into one huge lump that came to your throat, and you, knowing perfectly well why he was here, carefully, timidly took a step forward and hugged him, burying your face in his shoulder. One of his hands was holding a bouquet, so he lightly hugged you with his other hand. After a couple of moments, you heard him whisper:

«Well, don't whine... I can't stand it, you know»

Those words made you smile, and you pulled back a little. Without further ado, he handed you a beautiful, elegant and delicate bouquet of lilies, after which he added:

«Well, I hope you've at least guessed that this is an occasion....»

«Sure... You wanted to apologize, didn't you?»

«And you're smart today, mouse»

You smiled at his comment; he always called you that in a teasing manner, but now it sounded more affectionate. You understood everything at once — white lilies, such a beautiful flower, which means apologies and kindness of intentions. It was his way of earning your forgiveness for what he tried to do to himself.

You spent the evening together; Lilies flaunted in a pretty vase, you watched some kind of movie. It's been dark outside for a long time, but it seems that both of you had no plans to let each other go. And yet, you both felt the tension in the silence that you allowed to hang.

You've been waiting for this. And he knew that there would be no better moment.

«Y/N.»

«Yes?»

«Forgive me»

«For what?»

«For what I'm about to do-»

As soon as he uttered the last sentence, you felt his hands on your shoulders, and he left a light, almost weightless kiss on your lips. It was so funny and embarrassing for you at the same time. Osamu looked at you for a while before hugging you to him and burying his face in your hair.

«You're all I need. You're all I can ask for.»

He muttered softly. After a couple of minutes of hugging, you finally did what you wanted — interrupted his speech and pulled him into a real kiss... But don't think he gave up on you so easily. No way. He's going to take matters into his own hands anyway...

But that day was what divided your life into before and after.

In a good way.

|P.S I think I wrote too much (( I have such a writing style, I hope you liked the headcannons mixed with drabbles. Thanks for reading! I hope I will release some more works. 𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ |

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tillthelandslide · 2 months

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Insufferable Arsehole Part 15: You

A/n: hi everyone! Feels so surreal to say but this is the penultimate chapter of insufferable arsehole *cries*. I love this series so much so please feel free to send in any requests you want to see from these characters. But the main series is nearly over *sobs*. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I love you all so much and thank you for all your support <3. I want to give a massive shout out to @ughgoaway and @justanamesstuff for loving this series as much as I do. Without all of your support (but especially my loving ia stans) this series would've been over a long time ago. I love you guys so much. Hope you enjoy <3

Extra note: I wrote all the little poems in the notebook part of this series. They're all original (whether you think they're shit or you like them) please don't copy them.

Previous Part

Series Masterlist

Matty’s POV

The sofa I'm lying on feels way too comfortable, the warmth of it making it hard for me to get up. It’s soft beneath me and it lures me into closing my eyes. I have things I need to do, I have people I need to call, meetings I need to attend, friends I need to make sure are okay, set lists to read and adjust. A wonderful and loving girlfriend who I need to show my love for. But lying here, listening to the soft strum of the guitar she's playing has my closed eyes fluttering and my body weighing down on the sofa. I don't fall asleep, I just lie with my eyes closed, letting her voice drift over me - consume me.

I had moments like these, moments where I felt... Numb. But she pulls me out of them, or at least fills my body with something other than numbness, she touches the parts that can't usually be persuaded on days like these. These moments were few and far between with the presence of Lou in my life and somehow it makes this time worse. I feel guilty for feeling this way, for feeling low, for slipping into a dark space. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, I had a wonderful girlfriend, I was finally with the girl meant for me. And I had friends, great friends who were more like family. I had adoring fans and I did what I felt like I was meant to for a living. Life was perfect… So why did I feel so unworthy of it all?

It had started earlier this morning when I had snapped at one of the music techs, I hadn't meant to and I felt guilty as soon as I did it. Her warm hand clamped around my shoulder almost immediately, telling me to go lie down and so I did. I heard her apologise for my actions, explaining that I was 'tired'. I felt thankful she didn't tell the guy the real reason. The guys understood it, maybe even more than Lou, so when she spoke to them before she came back to me, they got it. Jamie had once described me as someone with a huge ego but no self worth, in moments like these, I had to agree.

The sound of the guitar stops and I hear her set it down, I hear the shuffle of the foot stall, feel a light bump against the side of the sofa, feel her soft hand drifting up my back, up to my neck and then my head, pushing the curls away and making my eyes flutter open.

My heart beat falters, my breath matching it, her beautiful eyes look down at me, soothing me. It was hard to describe them, they were ever changing. I wouldn't say they were green, but they weren't blue or grey either, it was as if those colours alone weren't enough for someone like Lou, they weren't special or unique so whoever created her (I don't believe in God but some greater being had to create a person like her) decided to make a new colour, a combination of all things beautiful. They had hints of grey and specs of yellow and sometimes the sun made them look piercingly blue but the sun could also make them look like emeralds. They were perfect, one look into them and I can feel myself slipping from the dark spaces of my mind.

"Hi my sweet boy" it surprises me that I don't have to tell her what I need from her in times like these, she just got it. As if she had access to all parts of my brain, able to peek in and see what I needed and having the ability to just give it to me without a shred of hesitation or an ulterior motive. It shouldn’t surprise me, not anymore, not when I knew she was it for me, the only one I ever want to be with, to spend the rest of my life with. The person who was mine and I theirs.

"Hi" I don't recognise the voice that comes from me, a low, deep grumble of a sad man. One that felt like a distant memory, the voice of someone I used to know, not the person I am now.

"I want to show you something" she says and I find myself nodding, she places her black leather notebook in my lap and I find my heart beating three times as hard as I look at it. She had never shown me this before, showing someone this is like showing them your deepest thoughts and emotions, baring your soul to them. I had watched her scribble in it countless times, I had watched as she wrote lyrics that pulled her lips up at the corners, I had watched as she scribbled down angrily, tears falling from her eyes and coating the pages.

I remember the only time I had come close to reading the lyrics, pinning her down to a hotel bed in some forgotten location, tickling her sides until the book slipped from her fingertips, holding the pages above her head just out of reach as our laughter was all that could be heard. I remember the way she begged me to give it back, of course I would never have read it without her permission. I remember her pleas made me drop the book and bury my face into her neck. She made me forget about the lyrics easily, too wrapped up in her to care about them.

"Are you sure?" I ask, sitting up slightly so my back is against the armrest of the sofa, pulling the book towards me and playing with the frayed edges. She smiles at me, her hand resting against my jaw, her thumb running over her bone, making my eyes flutter momentarily.

"Sometimes I think you forget how much you mean to people, you forget how much people love you... And not just me, the band and the crew, your family, my family, the fans... Of course I can only speak for myself... So I want you to read this" she speaks, voice soft and delicate. Beautiful.

I want to speak. To tell her I love her. To thank her. I want to smile. To press my lips against hers. But my eyes won't leave the book.

"most of them aren't finished... They're not songs... They're just things I wrote, little poems" she says and I nod, looking up from the book.

"I love you Matty" she says, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to my forehead before leaving me. It takes a while for me to open the book, scared of what I'll find. My shaky hands eventually separate the cover from the first page.

I find a few I recognise, like the one she posted on Instagram, the one I loved:

"I'd stay with you here forever, you with those dark eyes and darker hair, the epitome of beauty, you put Adonis to shame, with the way you paint my brain, with everything that is you, you with those dark eyes and darker hair. The epitome of beauty."

Her handwriting is delicate, cursive and, for a lack of a better word, beautiful. I'm not surprised because everything she does is beauty. She is beauty.

I flick through the pages, little photos taped to the corners or wedged in, the photos make my heart swell. Photos of her and G, one in particular making me smile: a photo of Lou sitting on George's shoulders, looking as if she was scared to fall down, but she's laughing and so is George and his hands are clamped on her thighs that rest around his head ensuring she doesn't fall. A picture of her and Ross, pulling funny faces at each other, they both look younger, Ross’ hair is short and Lou’s is too, I wish I had her like that back then, even now, even still - I regret the time we lost. I find a picture she took of me, her thighs resting either side of my waist as she takes a photo from above, I feel like a different person than the one smiling up at me. I see another one taken in a photo booth, one where we're kissing, it makes me smile.

I read on, my heart slowly being refilled with love and beauty and kindness and feeling.

I could bask in you for endless days and endless nights. For you are the sun that shines and glistens. For you are the one that warms my once cold heart and bones.

You're the sun in winter, warming up bones and creating smiles. You're rain on a summer's day, soaking the sweat away. You're all things good and kind and lovely. You're love and sex and beauty. You're the definition of passion. Cigarettes and coffee and fresh and home. You're my favourite scent. My favourite sound. My favourite sight. My favourite thought. My favourite feeling. You touch me and I feel you everywhere. Burying into my being. You're mine. My favourite scent. Cigarettes, coffee, fresh, home. My home.

I loved the complexity of some but simply adored the simplicity of others. Reading the ones which don't hide behind metaphors, they're purer somehow.

Pain engraved my brain. Hurt twisted through my mind. Envy soaked through my eyes. You appeared , all those emotions vanished. I began to love the way you loved me. I found myself loving you more. I used to hate you, I hated hating you. I love you now, I love loving you and I love you loving me.

I smile, a huge smile and I feel it seep through my bones, warming my cold body, feeling finally flooding back in.

Red lips and brown eyes. Black curls and tattooed skin. I'd like to paint in you in my mind so I could have you here forever

The few words are the only ones on this particular page, the rest is filled with pictures of us, a picture of the M necklace I gave her, a picture of my marked neck, her marks. There's a picture of us kissing, ones in which any other circumstance would cause my skin to heat up and my blood to rush south. There’s sweet pictures too, of us in Rome, our hands intertwined, pictures of our tattoos we got together.

The ropes within unwind under your command. Just say the word and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth.

Matty is sun kissed cheeks on summer days, cherry blossom on withered ground, swirling clouds amongst technicolour skies.

I turn the page and a larger piece of paper falls out, I unfold it carefully, taking my time in reading the words I find on the page:

Dear George,

I’m writing to you from Rome. Seems a bit weird to be writing you a letter knowing I’m going to be seeing you soon. Was feeling nostalgic I guess… Remember the days when we were both on tour and we’d write these big long letters to each other from wherever in the world we were. It was such a pain trying to make sure they were sent to you before you left that city or town. I remember us arguing one day because Jamie had complained about the amount of money he kept having to spend to retrieve the letters when had arrived a little too late. Grumpy sod.

Anyway, you’d usually write about how the tour was going, how Matty had been getting on your nerves. I always wondered whether you just said that to make me feel better for not getting on with your best friend. You’d send me pictures of you with Ross and Hann and I’d send you pictures of me and the girls (usually receiving a text from you or Macdonald after that made me want to hit you around the head - pervs)

Strange how different things seem now. Like now for instance - I'm writing this, by the pool (this place is fucking huge, you and Charli would love it here), Matty’s napping next to me. He’s sleeping with this dopey grin and… I love him George. So much. Please don’t try to cringe too much reading this. His skin isn’t as pale anymore. Shock right? Our pale boy has a tan!

I want to thank you G. Thank you for everything. You’ve been the best friend I could have ever asked for… but thank you for bringing me him. Matty is everything George. The way he loves me is nothing I have ever felt before. I know now that everything up until now is worth it because now I have him.

I can’t help but wonder how I ever could have hated him. He cares so deeply for every one G… sometimes I wonder if it's too much, if he’s going to get hurt in the end. But that’s okay. Because he has me. And he has you and the boys. And together we love him deeply (still probably half as much as he loves us). I’m going to spend every day of my life proving to him that he is worthy.

So thank you George. He’s the love of my life. He owns my heart, now and forever.

Your best friend - Lou x

My heart picks up in my chest, I love her, more than anyone I have ever loved in my life. I feel tears fall from my eyes, coating my cheeks. I swipe them away before they have a chance to hit the pages.

But you... It was different with you

That's my favourite, my fingers find the page and I carefully tear the page out, I fold it gently and tuck it into my pocket.

I stand from the sofa, feeling weightless now, feeling love for her in every fibre of my being. I walk around the venue, trying to find her. I find George who smiles at me widely.

"glad to see you perked up a bit" he says with a hand to my shoulder.

"Where's Lou?" My abruptness takes him back but it doesn't stop him from answering. I appreciate that.

"She's with your mum in the kitchen, they're baking" George clearly sees my shocked face and he chuckles "yeah your mum is here" I hug him tightly before I leave him, heading for the kitchen.

My legs move too quickly for my brain to register but I don't care, I need to find her. My mum spots me before Lou does and she smiles widely.

"Hello Matthew, feeling any better?" She asks, Lou looks up at me as she finishes speaking.

"Explained to your mum that you were feeling a little tired" Lou explains and I nod, smiling at her.

"Much better mum, thank you" I say leaning down to place a peck against her cheek.

Lou's hands are covered in flour and it makes me smile. I squeeze past my mother with a gentle "excuse me" . My hands find Lou's waist and I hitch her up, making her smile.

"Matty put the poor woman down" my mother scolds me but I don't stop. Lou's hands find my shoulders as she feels like she's going to fall.

"I've got flour on your shirt now idiot" she says but she's still smiling. She looks down at me and I see everything in her eyes, every emotion, every indication that she loves me. I love her, god do I love you.

"I don't care, come here" I say, one hand finding her chin and lightly pulling her towards me.

"Matty, your mum" she says, eyes flicking over my shoulder to my mum who giggles to herself, busying herself with the baking..

"I. Don't. Care" I say with the widest smile I think has ever graced my features.

"What has gotten into you?" She asks, smiling widely. Her eyes sparkle. God she's beautiful.

"I love you Lou, so much, you're everything. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, if that's okay with you" I say, I hear my mum coo behind us and Lou smiles above me, her legs wrapping around my waist to support herself more.

"Fine with me Healy" she says, leaning down to press her lips against mine finally. The kiss is kept short to save my mother seeing us in a compromising position.

"But you, it was different with you" I repeat her own words back to her and she nods.

"Yeah..." She says and I see her eyes well with tears, I feel myself copying her, placing her back on the floor but moving my head down to kiss her again. I hold her to my side as I turn to my mother.

"I'll leave you both to bake," I say, pressing a firm kiss to her cheek, smiling at my mother. .

"Okay" she says with a smile. I hug my mum tightly before I walk out, but I don't miss my mother's words

"That boy is obsessed with you, I've never ever known him to love someone as much as you" she says.

"Trust me, the same goes for him. I'd do anything for him" Lou's words make me smile and so I continue walking.

I find George again, happy to find him with Hann and Ross.

"Good you're all here" I say, drawing their attention towards me.

"Everything okay mate?" Ross asks and I smile as I nod.

"I need your help"

"Anything," George says.

"I'm going to ask Lou to marry me" they all smile widely at me, I like that. My eyes flick to George’s. He seems expressionless for a second.

“If that’s okay with you” I ask, I see George’s lip quiver slightly and his fingers grip his bottom lip as he nods. I see tears coat his eyes as he steps forward, grabbing my hand in his and pulling me forward into a hug.

“Fuck yeah” I find myself crying too. I feel two more sets of arms wrapping around us. I smile.

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @maybeiwouldlikeyou @at-her-very-foreign @not-alien-girl-v @sinarainbows @friedlandblog @momentum2023 @youlooklikeshitandyousmellabit @Inhalerbea (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊, those with a line through are the ones i couldn’t tag)

#insufferable arsehole matty healy series #the 1975 #matty healy #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty the 1975 #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy imagine #matty healy smut #matty x reader #matty healy x oc #the 1975 smut

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becca-e-barnes · 7 months

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You have my low-key obsessing over Sub/Touch starved Bucky. You’re work is incredible! I would love to hear every thought you have on the subject🩷

If I'm honest, I think about this way more often than I should. I really feel like Bucky would loooove the feeling of his partner playing with his hair bc who doesn't?

He adores the feeling of your fingers running through his hair but his very favourite is the feeling of your nails gently scratching against his scalp. It's so intimate and tender and nothing makes him feel as safe and cared for as that does.

But when your fingers trail through his hair while lips are on your pussy, he loses it. It's his reminder that you're as desperate to have his mouth on your body as he is.

"Fuck, you have no idea how good that feels." You groan, both hands in his hair, loving the way he's frantically licking and sucking you, dipping his tongue into your fluttering entrance to lap your arousal right from the source.

You tug sharply, directing his mouth back to your clit and he's more than happy to give you everything you need. His tongue is bound to be tired and his neck has to hurt but he can feel how close you are and he refuses to stop now. Not when he needs to feel you gush against his tongue.

"So perfect, just like that." You whine, grinding against his face, chasing your high.

You didn't even notice your eyes had closed until you open them again and you're blown away by the sight of Bucky humping the mattress, whimpering against your slick cunt.

You grip his hair, nearing the very edge of your climax and you hear him sob a little "Oh, please." against your quivering sex.

Is he closer than you, just from grinding against the mattress, enjoying the taste of your arousal? Quite possibly. His cheeks are flushed, there's a desperate look in his eye and you know you both need just a little bit more.

"You've got the sluttiest fucking mouth, do you know that? You were made to eat my pussy. It's what you're best at. Your brain has totally stopped working, hasn't it, sweetheart? You just know you need to lick me until you feel me gushing for you. You get off on this. Do you even know how pathetic that is? I don't need to touch you. You'll get yourself off just tasting how wet I am and I fucking love it." He likes when you get a little bit harsh but you didn't expect the way it makes him shudder, grinding his hard, leaking cock against the white bedsheets even faster.

"You're going to make a pretty mess for me, aren't you? You're going to cum all over yourself. Maybe I'll make you use this talented mouth and lick the mess off the bed too. I might even let you share it with me. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Letting me taste your cum on your tongue." The thought alone is enough to send you barrelling into your own high, right before he reaches his. The pleasure ripples around your body and it's so much more intense because Bucky just doesn't stop licking. He can't stop. Not even when he's pumping thick spurts of cum onto the sheets beneath him. He whines and moans, his body trembling with the force of his orgasm but he doesn't stop until both your high and his own have subsided.

But then he makes your filthy little fantasy come true. He shifts down the bed, licking a stripe of hot cum from the pool he created before shuffling up to catch you in a kiss that's just as passionate as it is tender.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #needy!bucky #sub!bucky #subby!bucky #I am weak for this #I think last week might be the very best week I've ever had at work #I smiled so much at work that my cheeks hurt every night when I got home #The week ahead is intimidating af #but we're faking it until we make it

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 8 days

Note

Science experiment reader please? The angst is feeding my soul 🥹💛

Jason let you settle back in on the couch and left you in the library, still rubbing his sternum and clearing his throat.

But you stifled a groan. Now that you were awake, you were awake. And you would be until your brain decided it was time to sleep. Worst. Parting gift. Ever. You didn't dream unless it was nightmares and you couldn't sleep more than an hour or two at a time. Cycling between being practical narcolepsy and no sleep at all. Walk it was, then.

At least that wasn't super demanding and if you stuck to your path it would take you somewhere you could scream and cry to your heart's content- maybe if you wore your self out you could pass out for a while in your hammock out there.

So. You go in search of Alfred to let him know you were leaving- the last thing you wanted was a panicked search party looking for you in the little clearing you made. You didn't doubt people knew where it was. They ran trainings in the woods all the time. People rambled out there all the time. But, everyone pretended they didn't know about it, and you appreciated it. It was small. Tucked back in a gap in the old growth, where there was a sliver of sky. But the trees still damped the noise and you felt far enough from people to feel... free. Even if it wasn't really true. There were still other emotions at the edges of it all.

"That was a short sleep," The butler observed, frowning slightly.

"Yeah," you sigh. "It's just like that sometimes." You knew you could probably say Jason had woke you up. He'd get in trouble. But- he got himself in enough trouble without your help. And being petty wouldn't really keep you off his radar, where you wanted to be. "I figured I'd go on a walk."

"The fresh air would probably do you some good," he hummed. "I'll prepare snacks. And ice water."

"Alfred, today is your day off I can always grab-"

He waved away your concerns easily and smiled slightly, "Humor me,. I like to feel useful."

You huff, half smiling and shake your head. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he said, "now on with it. Go find a book to smuggle out, I'm sure there's a nice sunny spot somewhere." And when you give him one of your rare actual smiles, he figures, a few minutes of putting junk food in your plastic Zoltar lunch box and water in a metal container with green sparkles is worth it.

Especially when you come back later. Green sparkly knapsack slung over your shoulder- probably holding a blanket and a book or two. Whatever solace you found out there, he hoped it was enough to make the pain easier to bear.

___________

Bruce paced and watched the clock glancing at Alfred, "When did she leave?"

"Not long after noon, Master Bruce," the Butler said, not bothering to conceal his concern.

"How did she seem?" he asked.

"Tired," Alfred recalled, "But in good spirits. She took her knapsack. I gave her a few snacks and some water. I assumed she was simply going to find some quiet spot in the woods to read. When she hadn't come back by dinner I thought she might have fallen asleep."

"Hn."

"So," Dick said, "She's probably not lost or hurt. She probably knows exactly where she is."

"Probably," Tim said. "The trick would be getting back in the dark without a flashlight."

Bruce scrubbed his hand over his face. When he'd left you you'd been dozing off in the house. Having finally hit the right balance of quiet and comfort in your brain to be able to rest. "I'll go and-"

"Or you could go," Dick said, pointing at the Bat signal visible out the window.

"Damn," Bruce sighed. "Dick You'll have to go." Not just anyone could go. Especially not if you were asleep. It had to be someone you knew. And if you were in the woods- if they had to go get you from there... well. You were going to need gentle handling. And Dick would be able to do it.

Dick nodded and stood up. Watching Bruce and Tim leave to get ready to go. "Alfred, is Jason around?"

"Master Todd is unaware of this currently, I believe," he said.

"Can you keep him that way?"

"I can try."

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #ask answered #minors dni #reader insert #science experiment! reverse

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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I wanna know who your favorite vinsmoke sibling is so bad actually please tell me 👀✨

My friend and my brother laughed at me when I told them my favorite Vinsmoke is Niji, and I genuinely was embarrassed that day because I didn't really know much about him at the time (I think I had only watched a few eps of WCI) and it's pretty clear in the show that he's, uh, the worst of the Vinsmokes. And by "the worst" I mean: The one who's portrayed as the worst because he's the most active one when it comes to abuse and supremacism within the family line. Unlike Ichiji (who's more serious) and Yonji (who's more playful, somehow) Niji is the one who has to actually fight for a role in his family and that's why I think he's so fucking annoying all the damn time. I hate him. I love him. I want to hug him. But also I wouldn't mind punching him very, very hard. I have mixed feelings, but yeah, Niji is my favorite Vinsmoke. And you haven't asked why, but I feel the need to do some sort of mini argument about this because I am a very resentful person and I want to show my friend and my brother that Niji is actually a very interesting character!! And my fiancé thinks I just like him because he's hot, and she's right but only like a 20%. Maybe 40%.

I will try to put my thoughts into words, but it's pretty difficult because I have a lot of things to say about this blue evil gremlin.

I like Niji the most because I think he is, between the three brothers, the one who shows feelings and ambitions outside their emotionless selves the most. I know they technically are the same, but I don't think so (btw, please assume I'm not including Reiju in this text because she's canonically different from them and I'm just referring to the brothers).

As I mentioned before, I think Niji is the one brother who is the most annoying and evil because he feels the need to stand out. Ichiji is serious, and calculative and has a secure place in the family. He is the number one, even if Reiju is the oldest (I would like to talk more about how Reiju, being a woman, even if she's the oldest, she's the number 0. Because she is the oldest but she's a woman, so she obviously doesn't and would not be able to wear the number 1 like a man would. She is the oldest and yet, she has less significance in the family line than Ichiji. But, yeah, this is something that has nothing to do with Niji, sorry). Ichiji, like all of his siblings, wants recognition from his father, but he doesn't have to try as hard as the others to be impressive because he is, after all, the oldest. The typical "older sibling in an abusive household who has to deal with all the bullshit to protect their siblings"? That's something Reiju took over. That's Reiju's responsibility as the oldest and the woman. Ichiji literally doesn't have to do anything besides leading the team and being the evil, emotionless machine his father created. That does not mean that I don't think he could be able to develop more feelings, because I think he could and I love the concept of him being the first one to protest against Judge's behavior, but you get me. When you're the oldest brother with an even older sister, your responsibilities are pretty limited. So he doesn't have to be anything but there and himself.

Yonji, on the other hand... He is the youngest. Even younger than Sanji. He doesn't have to try, because Niji and Sanji should be the ones to do so. Little siblings are not expected to do much besides existing because irl parents are usually tired of raising children and they end up either getting neglected or seen as decoration. As a little sibling myself I can confirm that these things affect really badly to your brain growing up, but I got a more Sanji treatment so I can't speak for Yonji here. The thing I can say, though, is that in comparison to Niji, Yonji is just there. He's silly and goofy. He's funny. He's dumb. He has the excuse of being the little one to act that way. Getting lost eating or doing whatever. Even the fact that his powers are more physically focused instead of power/intelligence centered shows that he can just punch away his issues. He's the gym bro of the siblings. Don't expect much from him. <- Thing that's often said about little siblings, btw, and affects real fucking badly in early teenage years. The fact that he's portrayed like that is so on point tbh but after all, they don't have high expectations for him, so little to no effort is everything he does.

Then there's Niji, of course. My favorite. Love him. Hate him. Whatever. Niji is the middle child. And God, do I have to say things about middle siblings.

The thing about Niji is that he actually has to try and make a name for himself in the family because otherwise he'll probably get forgotten. I often wonder if he had that fear of becoming the next Sanji once he "died" (he's the only one genuinely asking if Sanji died on them before Yonji and Ichiji say they don't care) because his role is not as noticeable as the others. Reiju is the woman, Ichiji is the successor, Sanji is the weakling getting bullied (being technically one of the little siblings but still being in a limbo of middle/youngest because the little one is Yonji), and Yonji is the little one. Then... What's Niji?

Niji needs Sanji way more than he's willing to admit, and I love that. I absolutely love how he's written because he constantly shows that he needs Sanji, through both words and actions. He needs him because without Sanji's existence -without Niji being his bully- Niji is nothing but number 2. And there's nothing more frustrating than being the number two when it comes to family hierarchy. Not going to mention every little thing he does, but as I said, I love how well-written he is. He's the sibling Oda uses the most to show the abuse Sanji went through, but that's only because Niji is the only one who needs to do that. Niji is the one to talk to Sanji first, all the damn time. He gets angry when Sanji doesn't respond. He gets angry because Sanji can't be bullied anymore. He gets angry out of fear, in my opinion, because if the weakling can't get abused anymore, then he's not worth anything. If Sanji isn't the third, the second one is left alone. 2 can't fight 1 because 1 has the protection of starting the line. And 2 can't fight 4 because there's a missing link that keeps 2 from 4. So Niji is mad at Sanji because Sanji isn't the same weak crybaby he used to be, and he can't use him anymore to be secure and safe.

That's fucking horrifying when it comes to family hierarchy.

I like Niji because, despite being an asshole, he has reasons to be like that. First of all, because his father literally made him this way. But also, the little feelings he has (selfish emotions, yes, evil. But they're feelings, anyway. Urges. He's supposed to be emotionless and yet he knows how Sanji feels enough to use that to his advantage) are used as a way to feel superior and safe because he feels inferior. I think he's the one showing more emotions out of the three, even if those emotions aren't healthy or good and it's just him being angry all the time. That means that if he has urges and needs like that, even if he doesn't fear his own death, he could end up developing more and more empathy. His type of empathy comes from a place of fear. He feels what Sanji feels. And it's not that he doesn't care (I mean, I am aware that he technically doesn't, but let me dream) but it's just convenient for him not to care and keep bullying him to secure his place in the family.

Also pointing out that I like Niji because, being the one who says he hates Sanji the most, he's the one to protect him with his own body when that scene of the siblings helping Sanji escape happens. The others only clear the way, Niji stays with him. There's a really cool post about this on Niji's tag somewhere!!! I personally think he does this because, as that post said: Niji keeps seeing Sanji as weak, instead of believing in him enough to just clear the way. He protects him because he thinks he can't protect himself. Because he's weak.

And yes, it might sound offensive and emotionless and it doesn't make Niji a better person. But it makes him an older brother. Believing in Sanji would be great, but thinking that he's weak and needs protection after years of projecting on him only shows that the weak one is Niji. That he wants and is willing to protect his brother, too. If he didn't care about his well-being he would've just cleared the way for him, not caring about what could've happened to Sanji. But he goes all the way to help him out and protect him longer than the others did. Idk. I find that a very beautiful way of ending their relationship.

All of this being said, I have to be honest with you: When I said I liked Niji for the first time I only did it because people around me kept saying he was the worst one and it bothered me because I found his design pretty fucking cool. And tbh when he started being an actual character? I loved him even more. Because during WCI he's a fucking asshole but the way he acts towards Sanji is wanting to get a response from him, and I just find that so curious and complex... Like, if he just wanted to be evil he'd be more the Doflamingo type. But Niji looks for a response in Sanji's eyes. He wants to feel powerful because he knows he isn't.

And also, well, he's very cute and I like his hair a lot and he makes me furious sometimes which is great because if a character doesn't make you want to punch him at one point, is he really a good character? Look at him! He deserves to get slapped in the face. But also, I would love to kiss him afterward. What's that Olivia Rodrigo lyric? Ah, yes: "I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up. Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut." That's how I feel about him.

I really hope it's obvious, with all of this, that "Succession" is one of my favorite TV Shows, because I could go on and on and on (and nobody would listen but idc) about how the Vinsmokes are just the Roy family. Both One Piece and Succession deal with family in which hierarchy is crucial in a very specific and accurate way. It makes me sick. I love it.

Anyway, have some pics of my blue idiot:

I want to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.

#i am indeed so not normal about niji #the fact that i don't talk more about him is just out of fear of cancellation #because i know he's an asshole but have you considered that his father is an even bigger asshole for making him this way #he has blue hair and pronouns #also i am so not normal about the other siblings i could rant for hours about reiju bc she reminds me so much of my brother #i can go into heavy detail as a sanji kinnie about all of them ngl #my least favorite is yonji but i don't have anything against him i just don't like gym bros but he's a cutie pie #if you're curious my top is niji > reiju > ichiji > yonji #the reason i like reiju is bc she reminds me of my brother and the reason why she's not the first one is bc she reminds me of my brother #one piece #vinsmoke niji #vinsmoke ichiji #vinsmoke yonji #vinsmoke reiju #vinsmoke siblings #germa 66 #black leg sanji

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thenewausten · 2 months

Text

Quackity Imagine: It's not too late. Part 1: "You don't change, do you?"

"Y/N?"

When you dated Quackity in 2018 and when you broke up one year later, in 2019, you didn't want to nor expect to see him ever again. Like, never. But for some reason, to make your night even worse, maybe, he's in front of you right 'fuckin now. "Oh, God." You whisper. He's different. More handsome, for sure. His hair is bigger, he's healthier and seems to be happier aswell. Well, good for him. You're terrible. "Are you okay? What happened?" He asks as he sees your blurred makeup (we can say you've been crying in the bathroom). "I'm fine." He approaches you a little and you move away. "Hey, it's okay. I don't bite." He says and you roll your eyes. "Do you still hate me, Y/N?" Alex seems to be chocked when you don't answer. "Really?"

"Really, what? I mentioned you to my therapist last week, I wasn't expecting to see you ever again." You say, a little irritated. "I'm sorry, okay?" You sniff your nose and wipe your tears. "Can I help you somehow?" Alex asks, approaching you again. "You can leave and promise you won't talk to me again."

"I can't do that, Y/N." He answers. "Why not? It was very easy for you to get out of my life in 2019." You, Alex and even the fly in the air heard the bitterness in your voice.

"I'm sorry, we can talk about it later, but I won't let you here in this state." He says. "Please, Y/N."

"Fine." You say, angry. "Can you take me to a calm place, please?" You ask him and he nods.

You follow Alex to the exit of the party. Shit, when you bought your beautiful green dress you didn't know it would end with you getting in the car of your ex-boyfriend.

"Can I drive to the beach?" He asks and you nod, quietly and, of course, crying. "There's a box of wet wipes in the glove compartment if you want to use them."

"My makeup isn't that bad." You say and he laughs a little. "Yes, it's." You roll your eyes and open the glove compartment. "Do you have a girlfriend?" You ask. "No, you?"

"I was engaged but my boyfriend broke up with me that night, so..." You shrug. "What an asshole." He whispers. "You did the same, shut up." You say and Alex ignores you, instead, he asks: "Why did he break up, Y/N?"

"I think he got tired of cheating on me." You said and Alex sighed. "Well, at least I never cheated on you." He jokes and you roll your eyes. "Fuck you, Alex."

"Sorry." He says. "I actually want to drink so badly." You whisper. "I can buy some wine and then we can go to the beach, what do you think?"

"It seems like our old dates." You mumble and he laughs. "Shit, that's true."

"You don't change, do you?" Alex opens his mouth to answer but then closes it again, and then, says: "Well, I can say that if I took a girl out on a date nowadays, it wouldn't be on a beach to drink wine." He says. "What? Did you get rich?!" You ask with a ironic smirk on your face. "No, but I have better conditions and more sense." You laugh. "That's new."

"Oh, shut up." He laughs. "I'm a different man, Y/N."

"I believe in you, Alex. You're probably worse than before."

"Jesus Christ." He mumbles and stop his car in front of a supermarket. "I'm going to buy the wine, do you want something else?" He starts to get out of his car. "Can you buy me a chocolate bar, cheetos and a pair of slippers?"

"Whatever you want, princess." He says, you roll your eyes and watch Alex approaches even more of the supermarket. Damn, you felt terrible. Your groom was cheating on you and broke up with you and now you're with your ex boyfriend which you never got over. You were willing to move on, you always were, but you never did. You even got engaged and still couldn't get over Alex completely. You start to cry again, now because of him. Why your 'fuckin brain, heart and stomach couldn't understand he's not yours and will never be?! Not again?

You had Alex for a fraction of time and it was enough to want him forever. What a joke you were.

You wipe your tears as you see him coming back, he opens the car and gives you the bag. "How much do I owe you?" You ask. "Don't worry." He says. "Good, I don't have any money with me." He laughs. "Thank you, by the way."

"Oh, so you know how to say it, uh?" He starts to drive again and you smile a little as you open the bag and see your favourite chocolate bar. "My favourite. You remembered." He nods. "I used to buy it to you every month, how could I forget?" You smile again and grabs the slippers. Your number. "You have a good memory."

"Yes, I have." He stops and you see you're already on the beach. Alex takes the bag on your lap with an "excuse me" and opens his door. While you take off your heels to put on your slippers, he opens the door for you to leave.

"I have a towel here, wait." He opens his car and grabs the towel. A Mexico flag. You giggle a little and then follow him to the beach, he puts the towel on the sand and sits in it, you do the same. "Here." He gives you the wine and you open it. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"My therapist will lose her mind when I tell her what happened." You whisper and he laughs. "I'm serious. 'Oh, yeah, my groom was cheating on me and then he broke up with me, then I saw my first boyfriend... Yeah, that one you made me block in every social media! And then we went to the beach so we could talk.' She'll die."

"What? Did you block me in every social media?" He asks, confused. "Uhum." You drink the wine while Alex's still in silence. "That's why I couldn't find you on Instagram." He whispers. "Did you try to? Why?" You're the one confused right now. "I just... I wanted to see how you were, I guess."

"You're seeing now, I'm a piece of shit." You answer, drinking again. "You look good, actually." He says and you roll your eyes. The last piece of your heart is gone and it's Alex's fault. "So, what do you do?" He asks. "I have a Coffe Shop with a friend and a Flower Shop with my mom." You answer him. "That's so cool. How's your mom?"

"She's good." You answer. "Can you take me to my house? I want to cry so badly right now."

"Sure, but... I mean, is it good to be by yourself right now?" It's better than be with you, you thought. "I live with my friend. She's actually my best friend."

"Okay." He gets up and helps you to, he opens the door of his car for you and then enters on the other side. "Can you pass me your address?" You nod, telling you his address and watching put it on GPS. The drive to your house is a bit silently, when Alex stops in front of a cute house with a beautiful garden, you look at him."Yeah, it wasn't that bad to see you. Thanks for the ride." You start to open the door to get out but Alex holds your arm. "Wait, please." He says as you look at his face. "Can I see you again?"

"What? Why?" You ask him, so chocked you almost screamed. You expected to never see him again after this night. "Because I want to talk about what happened."

"The past is the past, Alex. It stays behind." You say. Oh, fuck you, you couldn't even forget him, what was you saying?! "Really, Y/N?" He's ironic in his words and you sigh. "I don't want you to pass your whole life hating me and don't living in peace with yourself." You didn't know what to say, but you nod. "Okay, I'll pass you my number." You say, automatically. Alex gives you his phone so you can put your number there. "Thanks."

"Goodbye, Alex."

"See you soon, Y/N."

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!

#quackity #qsmp #qsmp brazil #quackity imagines #quackity x reader #alex quackity #quackity imagine #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackityhq #qsmp brasil #quackity fluff #quackity fanfic #quackity headcannons #quackity qsmp

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whumpsday · 10 months

Text

Kane & Jim #E2: Stay With Me

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: recovery, comfort, nightmares, whumper turned whumpee turned caretaker, whumpee turned caretaker turned whumpee, vampire caretaker

Whumpmas in July Day 9: "Stay with me"

this is a flash-forward taking place about two years out from the present arc! made as a sort of follow-up to A Nice Thought.

be warned that this piece has... ⚠️spoilers⚠️ for the present arc! it's nothing i haven't hinted at before in ask-answers though, and this series is non-chronological anyway.

Kane was up and running the second he heard the scream.

He flung the basement door open, dashing up the stairs as fast as he could without breaking them. Up, up, down the hall, another door-

No one else was there. Jim was just lying in his bed, trying to catch his breath, the room dimly illuminated by the plain night light he always kept on.

Just a nightmare.

"Are you alright?" Kane asked, stepping back into the doorway. He knew how Jim was with nightmares by now, that his presence wouldn't be welcomed. "I was just- I can go."

Jim looked up at him with tired, scared eyes. "Stay with me? Please?" he asked, his voice small.

Kane was surprised, but he didn't need to be told twice. He was by Jim's side in an instant, the bed creaking slightly as he sat down on the soft blanket next to him. "Of course. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, man." Jim stared up at the ceiling, eyes wet with tears as he tried to control his shaky breathing.

"You don't usually scream," Kane noted, concerned.

Jim gave him a weak laugh and a nudge on the arm. "Guess I'm turning into you, huh?"

Kane rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but smile a bit, too. At least Jim felt well enough to joke around. "I don't even do that as much anymore." It'd happened about once a month when Jim first took him home, but by now, it was down to two or three months between. He'd almost never heard Jim do it, maybe twice in nearly three years here. Not counting back in vampire territory, of course.

"Yeah, you do." Jim scooted closer, resting his head on Kane's hand.

"Do you want me to hold you?" Kane blurted out. He regretted it as soon as he said it. How stupid, Jim was a grown man, he didn't need-

Jim didn't even hesitate. "Yeah."

Well, if he was agreeing...

Kane scooped the man into his arms, leaning back against the headboard. Jim rested his head against Kane's chest, tears leaking into his shirt. He must be so scared...

"I won't hurt you. Never again," Kane reminded him.

"Wasn't you this time," Jim mumbled. "It was your brother."

Ah. "Well, he certainly can't hurt you."

"I know. My dumbass sleeping-brain's the one that doesn't." Jim tapped the side of his head and sighed. "You know, it's stupid, but I actually used to- ah, forget it."

Kane pushed down the urge to question him. This was about making Jim comfortable, no matter how curious he was. "Alright," he agreed.

But Jim had never been one for holding his tongue, and continued without encouragement. "Back then, back at your old place, after- like during the last two years especially? I used to fantasize that you'd hold me. Like if I asked on my birthday or something. You were nice on my birthdays. I just wanted someone to, and you were the only one there." He turned his face away, embarrassed by his own admission.

Kane would never stop regretting how he'd treated Jim, but this was a particular knife between the ribs, hot and silver and twisting. He clutched Jim a little closer. "I'm sorry. I'm glad I can hold you now," he whispered.

Jim turned back to look at him. "Would you have said yes?"

He didn't answer for a bit. He had to think about it, had to give Jim the real answer, not whatever he assumed Jim wanted to hear. He'd been getting better at that. So much had changed, it was hard to put himself in his past self's shoes, the man who would hurt Jim without a second thought.

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe. Depending on my mood, I could have gone either way. I can tell you this for certain, though: even if I'd said no, I would have wanted to, for the same reason as you."

That earned him a small smile. "Yeah, that tracks."

"I can stay here the whole night, if you want," Kane offered. He glanced at the window: the blinds were already closed. He was okay. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I've been just as bad."

Jim was well-aware. He'd stayed with Kane some nights, too.

"Yeah, okay."

They laid silently like that for a while, the crickets softly chirping in the night. Jim worried about inconveniencing Kane- there was still a layer of fear to it, even after all this time, even after he was the one who asked Kane to stay. Like he would be judged as badly-behaved and requiring discipline.

But Kane didn't do anything. It was just nice.

"It's kind of pathetic," Jim muttered. "He barely even got me, you know? C or Chewie or Graham or whatever the hell he's calling himself now was with him for eight years. I shouldn't be having the stupid nightmares and needing to be held when I'm a goddamn thirty-six year old man and he barely even got me."

"He's back to C again right now, I think, but he told me he's thinking about trying Graham again last time we spoke. I think he might really stick with it next time," Kane mused.

"Good for him." Jim always just asked him what his name was that month whenever he said hi to the guy so he wouldn't get it wrong.

"You know, I think of thirty-six as rather young," Kane continued. "Most humans probably would-"

Jim laughed. "Yeah, 'cause you're old as shit, grandpa."

Kane sighed, his chest rising and falling deeply under Jim's head. "Yes, I'm up there, so you can't go saying you're too old to be getting frightened when I do the same thing at one-hundred and eighteen. As I said, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Besides... I don't think I helped things, as far as your reaction went. You already had nightmares, the face just changed."

"Well, you're helping things now."

Kane didn't have a rebuttal to that one. "You should try and get some sleep. I won't let anything happen to you."

He was safe. He was safe. Jim just had to remember that. Couldn't get much safer than with a vampire protecting him. "Okay. Thanks."

"Any time." Kane began softly humming a tune, a song Jim didn't recognize, but one that soothed him anyway.

He slept peacefully through the rest of the night.

stay tuned, the big one's coming wednesday.

taglist in reblog!

event: @whumpmasinjuly

#kane and jim #whumpmasinjuly2023 #wij23day9 #whump #vampire caretaker #recovery whump #comfort #nightmares #whumper turned caretaker #whumpee turned caretaker #caretaker turned whumpee #my writing #whump writing

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