#Sam Wilson reader insert

[buckyownsmylife]

a love like war - sam wilson x reader x bucky barnes smut

The one where Sam’s your best friend and Bucky’s your boyfriend, but they both want you naked.

Warnings: smut, name-calling, dirty talk, voyeurism?, cuckolding?, definitely a sharing thing

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I sighed and looked at the clock in front of me. 8 AM and Sam and Bucky were already getting on my nerves by getting on each other’s nerves. I couldn’t even be bothered enough to pay attention to what was the subject of their bickering anymore. I just focused on my cereal and tried to pretend that their voices were nothing but white noise.

“Man, you’re so full of shit. I don’t know how she’s able to handle your shit. Seriously, Y/N, say the word and I’ll steal you away.” And now, more of this. I knew what was going to happen even before Bucky growled and broke the mug in his hand, splattering porcelain all over the kitchen’s island.

“You have got to stop that, Wilson,” I groaned, not excited to calm my boyfriend and then have to clean all of this. I gave him a poignant look as I got up from my seat and ran after Bucky, knowing he’d be either going to the gym or our room, depending on how he was feeling after Sam’s joking threat.

“Baby, you have got to learn to take a joke,” I urged, holding his wrist with both hands to get him to stop pacing around our shared bedroom when I locked the door behind us. “You know he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you, when you behave this way, you’re only giving him more reason to keep on doing that.”

“Except I don’t!” He shouted, and I jumped away, startled at the unexpected reaction. I had to blink a couple of times to process that it had actually happened, Bucky had actually lost his mind over some stupid pick-up line Sam used on me. But by the time I was able to tell my body it was okay to move again, he was looking guilty and afraid of getting closer to me.

“What does that even mean?” I laughed, reaching out for his arm again, making it clear that despite my shock, I wasn’t afraid of him. I heard him sigh like he was relieved that I didn’t suddenly hate him because of his outburst, but after staring at me for a couple of seconds, he was back to irritated again.

“I don’t know that he’s just doing this to piss me off. I don’t think he is, actually. I think he wants you, and part of the reason why he gets on my nerve so much is because he’s envious of the fact that I get to have you.” The confession surprised me even more than his previous meltdown, and I could only stare at my boyfriend with my mouth hanging open as he tried to control his breathing after speaking what had obviously been on his mind for so long.

“You’re crazy.” It was instinctive, the deflect, the need to avoid the reality I’d been dancing around for so long. I’d known Sam for so long. Way before I even met Bucky - way before Steve found him and helped him get back on his feet, it was Sam and me against the world. He was my best friend. We trained together, we went to the military together, and when he found a spot in the Avengers, I was already working for SHIELD.

Not even the time we stayed apart could push us away from each other. Not even boyfriends or girlfriends or Bucky Barnes, the love of my life, could have kept me away from Sam Wilson, my best friend.

But I knew a big part of the reason for our closeness is that I’d downright refused to see the signs that warned me our friendship could become something different. I did that willingly because I was scared. I didn’t want to lose Sam, so I ignored the fact that he might have felt something different towards me. In doing so, I ignored whatever not-so-innocent feelings I felt towards him, too.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I watched as she struggled to deal with the reality of my words. I knew I was right. Not only was I aware of what they meant to each other, I knew both of them too well by now. And most of all, I had plenty of experience in desiring the woman before me.

I could recognize the glint of desire in his eyes. It’d been in mine ever since I met her.

Her head was swirling, that much was obvious, and so when she sat by the edge of my bed, I knew it was my job to calm her down. “It’s okay, doll.” When her gaze met mine, it was clear she still wasn’t comfortable with the fact that I knew about her attraction to her best friend - or maybe it was simply that she couldn’t accept it was there. 

“I’m not angry,” I explained, waiting for her to process it, see it in my calm, patient expression. When her eyes darted up in shock, searching for any sign that I was lying, she found none.

“Well, aren’t you jealous?” She, at last, asked, playing with her fingers in that way she did when she was nervous. A small chuckle escaped me before I could reel it in, and knowing how easily she could get fired up when she was feeling vulnerable, I quickly covered her hands in mine, pulling her closer to me.

“Well… yes,” I admitted, searching her eyes for a sign of understanding. But she was still confused, biting her lower lip with her furrowed brows and out-of-control heartbeat. Poor thing. 

“But more than jealous, I’m just really fucking horny,” I finally admitted, watching her eyes widen and her breath hitch as realization hit her all at once.

“Bucky…” she tried to say, but I just shush her, thumbs rubbing the inside of her wrist in a calming pattern.

“Just hear me out…”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I nervously ran a hand over my dress, eyes darting across the room as I waited for Sam to arrive. I still couldn’t believe what had happened, nor what Bucky wanted to happen tonight. But I couldn’t deny that I wanted it too.

So I tried to distract myself by chatting with Natasha until a commotion caught our attention, gazes immediately drawn to the man who couldn’t enter a party without becoming the center of it.

My best friend, Sam Wilson. I watched him greet Steve and then Bucky, eyes searching for me the second he realized I had already arrived. When he did locate me, a grin opened up on his beautiful lips, and I found myself biting down on my lower one.

Now that I felt comfortable admitting to myself how attracted I felt towards him, it was like I couldn’t hide it anymore. My body called out to him, and every time he smiled, I couldn’t help but clench my thighs together.

“Nice to see you’ve made it, beauty.” For the first time, his pet name for me made me flushed and out of breath, and of course, Natasha - being the incredible spy that she was - immediately noticed it.

“I think Wanda’s looking for me,” she excused herself out of the conversation, leaving me alone with the man I wanted to talk to, but not before wiggling her eyebrows in my direction in a way that made it very clear I’d have to deal with her nosiness as soon as she physically could make her way into my life again.

“What was that about?” Sam asked, eyebrows furrowed as he followed the redheaded’s path, but I just shrugged, trying not to focus on the way his chest perfectly filled the button-up shirt he was wearing by looking down at my drink.

“Oh… You know Nat… Probably got some scoop on someone or something.” I cringed at my own inability to play it cool when I was feeling so much inside. I really should have gotten better at this after being a part of the Avengers for so long, and yet, here I was. Acting like a teenager with a crush.

“Huh… sure.” For the first time since we became friends, there was an awkward silence between us, at least from my side. I was kicking myself mentally, trying to snap out of it but thankfully, my best friend always knew how to ease the situation.

“You look hot,” he noted, outwardly checking me out. I knew he’d done it before, but it had never made me feel this way… warm inside, fidgety. He reached out to stroke my hand that was resting on the bar and I nearly melted.

“Oh, fuck me…” I whined under my breath, realizing just how fucked I truly was. And because nothing in my life could never be easy, Samuel Wilson figured this would be the perfect time to tease me even further, by pressing his body behind mine and whispering in my ear, “I mean… I’m free if you want to.”

I knew he heard the way my breath hitched. I knew it because, in a second, he had stepped away and stuttered an apology. “Shit, I took it too far… Sorry, baby girl.” In the time it took me to turn around, wide-eyed in shock at his understanding of what had happened, he was already halfway through the room, almost to the hallway.

“Sam, wait!” I tried to run, but the high heels didn’t help my intentions. “Sam, please!” I managed to yell when I got to the corridor and this time he froze, stuck between turning around or slipping through the door he had opened, but that second of hesitation was all that I needed to catch up to him.

I grabbed his wrist before he could close the door on my face, and so when he stepped into the room, I stepped in with him. “No, don’t run away!” I tried to force him to listen to me, but even though I was strong, Sam was stronger than me. “Please, stop!” I tried, and at long last, he abided. 

Stopping completely, back still turned to me as we both tried to catch our breath, I tried to reason with him. “Sam, be honest with me,” I pleaded, my hand slipping further down to squeeze his, get him to look me in the eye. “Do you want me?”

The world stood still for a second. I think both him and I stopped breathing altogether, me in expectation, him in shock and maybe a little bit of confusion. At last, his eyes softened, hand cradling my face as he breathed out, “How could I not?”

I melted against him, taking advantage of his proximity to press our bodies closer together so I could relish in his warmth. “I mean, you’re really steaming hot,” he added, probably trying to lighten the mood as his arms slid down to cover my lower back, keeping me close to him. “Even your smile is hot.”

It had the intended effect because I immediately giggled, rubbing myself against him, feeling how hard he was against my stomach. When his breath hitched, I knew the mood had gotten electric again.

“Well, if you really feel this way…” I whispered, eyes slowly running up his body until they met his again. “… indulge me.” I saw the question in his eyes before it made its way to his lips, so I nodded to reaffirm that I was certain about this.

He didn’t hesitate another second. Bending down to kiss me as I rose up to my tip-toes, our lips met in the middle, and I melted as Sam’s strong arms embraced me, his big hands rubbing my back and making me feel small.

“Your lips are so sweet.” His voice was barely a whisper when we were forced to part to catch our breath. I think he was afraid of breaking the spell, afraid that I would regret what had happened. “Are you this sweet everywhere else?”

Needless to say, I wouldn’t. “I guess you’ll have to taste me to know,” I whispered, a teasing smirk on my face at his answering groan. His fingers squeezed my hips when he held me close, keeping me pressed tightly against his front, and even though it was clear he didn’t want me to leave, he still asked, “What about Bucky?”

“I’m standing right here.” My boyfriend’s voice broke us out of our reverie, and I watched as Sam jumped in shock, but still didn’t release me. His stance made it seem as if he was scared of some sort of retaliation from Bucky, and he was prepared to defend me through it.

It only made me fall even deeper for my best friend.

I tried not to think about what Bucky might have felt when he opened the door to find us entwined. For what it was worth, he seemed to be enjoying, and I let my eyes fall further down his body to check that he was in fact struggling against a boner already.

“Isn’t she a tease?” He smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned on the furthest wall from us. “You don’t have to look so scared. I was hoping she would do this.”

It took a while for Sam to understand what my boyfriend was implying, and when he finally did, he didn’t seem ready to accept it.

“Is this…?” Nodding, I curled my hands around his wrist, licking my lips in the desire to kiss him again. “You really want this?” He asked, disbelief clear in his voice. 

How could he not know that I wanted him more than anything?

“Yes,” I assured him, cradling his face between my hands. “I really want you.” There was no further hesitation in his eyes. His arms slid down my back until they reached my ass and he mumbled a, “Come here,” capturing my lips in his once more. 

“I knew my teasing would eventually get to you,” he joked once we parted, prompting me to start laughing and bury my face against his chest.

“You’re ridiculous.” I could feel his smirk against my skin, and although his desire was very obvious against my stomach, there was an annoying insecurity nagging at me, begging me to question, “What about you?” When his eyes met mine in confusion, I clarified, “Do you want me?”

The smirk that spread over his lips had all of my worries fading away instantly. “Please!” He chuckled, leaning down to kiss me again. “I can’t even look at you without getting hard.”

He deepened the kiss when our lips met this time. I was drunk on his cologne, drunk on his manly presence, desperate to drown in him. 

“You sure about this?” He asked me once again, and I was quick to nod. But then, much to my surprise, he looked over his shoulder, to where my boyfriend was standing. “What about you? Are you comfortable about this?”

Bucky’s smirk had me creaming in my already drenched panties.

“It was my idea.”

It seemed to be the only thing missing for Sam to attack. I blinked, and he was already on his knees before me, hands running up the back of my thighs and slipping under my dress so he could cradle my ass cheeks, bringing me closer to him.

“God, I’ve been dying to get my mouth on you.” My underwear disappeared in the sound of a single rip, and I was left naked under the skirt where he was now hiding, nose bumping against the cut of my cunt. “Fuck, look at you…” I didn’t get a chance to tease him about not really being able to see me, buried underneath my dress, because his tongue ran up my pussy and in the blink of an eye, I was reduced to a stuttering, begging mess.

“Oh…” I tried to pull my dress up so I could hold onto the back of his head and keep him attached to me, sucking and licking and eating me out so hard, my knees were buckling. But every time I managed to pluck the fabric from over him, it escaped my fingers as he swiped his tongue around my clit once more and I lost every train of thought I could possibly envision, throwing my head back as I relinquished my entire body to him.

Thankfully, my boyfriend always seemed to know exactly what I needed.

“There you go, sweetheart.” And just like that, my dress disappeared, taken over my head as Sam’s body became exposed to me once more, and as he opened his eyes to look into mine, drinking in the sight of my naked skin for the first time completely available for his gaze to explore, Bucky pressed his torso against my back, both hands coming up to squeeze my breasts.

Sam’s P.O.V.

“You just relax and let Samuel take care of you, hm?” Hearing those words come out of Barnes’ mouth only made the situation feel more real, and yet ethereal at the same time. “You’re gonna be a good girl for him, aren’t you, darlin’? You’re gonna let him take care of you.”

His hands had begun to travel down her body, resting on the inside of her thighs to help open her up to me. He rested her weight on one of his thighs, and I got to work on making her cum for me, right on the tip of my tongue.

“Yes… Take care of me, Sam,” she moaned, throwing her head back and resting it on Bucky’s shoulder. My God, she was a work of art - and I couldn’t believe I was allowed to touch her, feel her, give her the pleasure that she deserved to feel every second of her life.

“Can’t believe you were wearing thongs around me all this time.” The garment was destroyed by now, but the image of how she looked seconds before I managed to finally get my hands on her would forever be imprinted in my brain.

“I was so wet, too,” she teased, earning herself a growl and a spank on her ass cheek because I was only a man. “I always get so wet around you. You’re getting me even wetter, Sammy. God, I’m dripping on you…” 

And she was. It was the most beautiful mess I’d ever witnessed, and I was cherishing every single moment of it, every drop of her nectar that my tongue collected…

“Not good enough,” came the voice of Barnes, ruining my moment of exhilaration. “Is that how you pleasure a lady, Wilson?” He tsked, obviously disappointed even if I knew it was only to rile me up. “I expected more from you.”

She laughed, obviously in on the teasing, but by then it was a matter of pride.

I was going to make her cum on my tongue or die trying.

As soon as I upped my movements, she responded, grinding up against me in search of her release. In need to take a breath, I slipped two fingers into her, keeping her right on the precipice of cumming, without allowing her to do so just yet.

“Look at you,” I taunted, in love with the sight and in more lust than I’d ever felt before. “Does he ever lick you this nice? I bet that’s why he’s been teasing me, he can’t stand the way you’re singing for me, right?”

She laughed again, clutching Bucky’s arm that held her, letting him know it was nothing but a joke, but we both knew better. This was everything, and there was more at stake than just the friendships we screwed up with this act.

“Does he ever say that you are a whore?” I asked as I dove in once again, enjoying the way her eyes widened in shock before she let her head hang back in response to my licks. “Does he ever fuck you like the slut that you are? Give it to you so good, you can’t even speak afterwards?”

Her moaning was my only answer, but it was the one that I was counting on. While Bucky threatened me with his stare, I made his girl cum with my mouth, screaming loud enough for the party to hear, while all he did was watch. 

She was still moaning as I let her go and rose to my feet again, licking away the remnants of her from my lips. “Delicious,” I recognized, and something flashed in Bucky’s eyes - recognition. I now knew what my best friend tasted like, and I wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t taste it again.

He’d just have to learn how to live with it.

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[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Surprise, baby | Sam Wilson x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: After returning home from a mission, Sam surprises you with your favorite flowers at the hospital where you work as a nurse. 

A/N: been a hot minute since I wrote for this hunk of specimen. It’s also been a hot minute since you requested this. I hadn’t had the inspiration to write it, but found that today. I hope you enjoy. It is short, but I hope it gets to the point and to the feels. 

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! Warning: DEATH, sadness, lmk if i missed any 

Life as a nurse wasn’t always easy; the long hours, the ungrateful patients, the incessant beeping of IV pumps, call lights on and off. The list goes on. But today had been a particularly horrible shift, the worst you’ve had in a while. 

A young and once healthy patient coded and it was a patient you’ve come to know very well after caring for them on weeks on end. There was nothing you or anyone else could have done. The patient’s body and soul were tired. And now they would never experience the what else life had to offer them. 

You cried in the break room, trying to regroup and calm yourself. There were other patients to care for. Your need for comfort grew on days like this, but unfortunately your comfort was half way across the world, fighting to keep the world safe. You weren’t able to call him and he was only allowed to call you when he knew he was safe and on a secure line. The odds of that time being this very moment were slim. 

You straightened your back and wiped your tears, heading out toward the nurses station, when a rather large bouquet of y/f/flowers caught your eye. Someone was holding them, but the bouquet was big enough to cover their face. Your mind didn’t immediately go to Sam, but this could be for another patient. 

“Those flowers are beautiful, who are they for?” You ask, approaching the nurses station and grabbing one of your patient’s charts, flipping through the pages. 

“my wife.” 

You did a double take, your mind slow to comprehend the fact hat the man standing next to you with the bouquet of flowers was your husband, who was supposed to be half way across the world. He hadn’t told you when he would be back, it was classified. 

Your shoulders slumped at the sight of him, the worry and sadness evaporating the longer you stared at him, “oh, Sam.” Your comfort was here. 

He gathered you into his arms, just in time for your knees to buckle, the sobs overwhelming you. “Hi, baby.” He laid the flowers down, fully enveloping you into his arms, squeezing you tightly. “God i’ve missed you.” 

He held you in his arms until your sobs subsided, slowly rocking you side to side. 

You pulled away from him, hands on his cheeks, “Is this real? Are you real?” 

He chuckles softly as your fingers poke and pinch at his cheeks, nodding as he wipes the tears from your cheeks, “surprise baby.” 

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[peterpparkrr]

All I want for Christmas is you

peterpparkrr’s 12 days of holiday drabbles

2. Christmas music + Sam Wilson

Summary: Sam loves Christmas music. You hate it.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas! Make the yuletide gay!”

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose.”

“All I want for Christmas is yooooouuuu, youuuu baaabbyyyy!”

It never stops. 

No matter what time of day it is, from the day after Thanksgiving through the entirety of December, Sam’s baritone fills your home with a never-ending shuffle of Christmas songs.

Your first Christmas together you thought it was sweet. Every time you were at Sam’s apartment you’d know where he was, just based on where the soft hum of a Christmas carol was coming from. It was comforting.

You’d moved in together by the time your second Christmas together came around. And that was when you learned that he played and sang Christmas music all season long.

Which was fine. It’s fine. 

Except you don’t exactly like Christmas music. 

Honestly, you hate it.

It’s cringy and hokey and the absolute last thing you want to be listening to. Especially for a month straight.

But you also refuse to damper even a smidge of the unabashed joy and happiness that is Sam Wilson at Christmastime. 

Bing Crosby is crooning when you geet home from work. You’re still taking off your coat and setting down your things when you see Sam come around the corner to greet you.

“Come dance with me, baby,” Sam calls out as he beckons you into the middle of the living room.

“Sam,” You begin to protest.

“It’s just the two of us, don’t be shy,” Sam says.

You finally give in and allow yourself to be pulled into Sam’s embrace, your head coming to rest on his shoulder as his hands wrap around you and you snake your hands around his back.

As you sway in time with the jazzy Christmas music 

“I love you,” Sam murmurs into your hair.

“I love you too,” You reply as you pull away just enough to smile at him. 

“I love that you put up with all the Christmas music even though you hate it,” He adds

“I don’t-” You begin to protest as you pull back a bit more.

“Yes you do,”  Sam says. “But you’d never admit it to my face because you love me. And that’s what I love about you.”

You shake your head.

“When it’s you singing it, or you dancing around the kitchen to it, or us getting to do this? That makes it impossible for me to actually hate this music.”

“A Christmas miracle,” Sam quips with a smile as he presses a kiss on the tip of your nose.

And you two dance like that for the rest of the song, slowly moving together to the music as you just enjoy this kind of moment. It’s not until the song ends that you lift your head off Sam’s shoulder.

“But maybe you could play a little less Michael Bublé?”

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[ynscrazylife]

What’s Said on the Boat, Stays on the Boat

Request: “Could you possibly make one where the reader is asexual (feel no sexual desire) and they are dating either Wanda, Sam falcon, or tony and they make a joke about sex and the reader freeZes up and they have to explain to their partner why they froze and they are super sweet about it.”

Summary: When Bucky comes over to help Sam with the boat, a sex joke is made that leads Y/N to come out.

CW/TW: A “That’s what she said joke” is made by Bucky in response to something Reader says.

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PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/swccessful

“Hey, Sarah, do you know where Sam is?” Y/N asked as she walked down the winding staircase, her hand sweeping the rail. After finishing the book she was reading, she realized that she hadn’t seen — or heard — her boyfriend in quite some time. That was rare. She had checked around the house, in the backyard, and had just finished checking upstairs when she found Sam’s sister.

“Uh, yeah, he’s out on the boat,” Sarah told her, looking wary. As Y/N passed her, she added, “Good luck.”

Slowing her pace as she digested that, Y/N pouted. She had been in her relationship long enough to know what Sarah meant by that. Sam had a . . . Tendency to be stubborn when it came to his boat. He never liked accepting help when it came to the vessel, insisting he could accomplish it by himself when he couldn’t.

“Thanks,” she muttered genuinely, although it didn’t sound like it. She pushed open the back door with her shoulder and stepped onto the dock. Although she did her best to stop it, all her frustration melted away when she laid eyes on her boyfriend himself. He was on his knees on the boat, trying to yank or fix something - Y/N couldn’t really tell. Seeing him so focused brought a fond and adoring smile to her face.

“How’s it going?” Y/N asked as she approached, trying (and failing) to figure out what he was doing.

Sam backed away and looked up, flashing her a brief smile before returning to his work. He was nothing if not persistent, she’d give him that. “Good! Just, uh, trying to fix this door-thingy here,” he said, gesturing towards a door that led to a small compartment. It resembled what she guessed the door to a captain’s room would be on a pirate ship (really, how old was the boat?).

“Uh-huh,” Y/N replied, watching him as he fiddled with the doors’ hinges, unconvinced by his words. “Hey — maybe you should ask Bucky for help? He’s pretty good with this stuff.”

“No—! Ow,” Sam protested, reacting too quickly and hitting his head on the ledge overhead the door. “I’m almost finished.”

“Maybe when you’re done we can go inside and have watch a movie?” Y/N suggested.

Sam hummed. “Sounds good,” he said.

Raising an eyebrow, she decided to experiment. “What about Mr Popper’s Penguins?”

“Whatever your heart desires, darling.”

And that was it. Sam detested that movie. As a self-proclaimed bird “expert”, he was adamant that the movie was completely inaccurate when it came to penguins and did a disservice to birds everywhere. Sam’s passion was one of Y/N’s favorite things about him, even if it was for penguins sometimes, and seeing him lose it so quickly to stubbornness made her frown.

Heading back inside, Y/N slipped her phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.

“Hey, Bucky? Do you think you can swing by anytime soon? The boat needs help.”

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?” Sam demanded, only half-joking, from his spot lounging on the boat. Y/N sat beside him, having finally convinced him to take a break.

“Nice to see you, too,” Bucky replied gruffly, hiding a small smirk. He nodded towards Y/N.

“I invited him,” she admitted, stifling a laugh when her boyfriend turned to her, looking gobsmacked. “The boat needs him, Sam!”

“I cannot believe this,” Sam grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting.

Bucky rolled his eyes and got onto the boat, studying the door before starting on it. He was about five minutes in when Sam saw something and protested, saying that he was going about it the wrong way. If you asked Y/N, she couldn’t tell you what had happened, only that they were arguing about something sure to be pointless.

She only got involved when the arguing continued and Sam threw his hand up, accidentally knocking a tool out of Bucky’s hand. It fell right over the side and plopped into the water. Y/N had been sitting on the edge and got splashed, but Bucky immediately dug into the ocean with his metal arm and fished it out.

“Ugh, thanks a lot, Sam. Now I’m all wet,” Y/N complained, pulling at her now-damp shirt.

“That’s what she said,” Bucky retorted, grinning like an idiot.

Y/N froze. Sam rolled his eyes at his friend.

“That is the dumbest joke,” he proclaimed.

“You’re only upset because that’s the first time someone has said that to you,” Bucky said, flashing him a smug smile as he continued working.

“That is not true. I’ve heard it plenty of times!” Sam protested.

This led them down a rabbit hole of useless bickering, but Y/N zoned it out (she had become pretty good at it by this point). Instead, her gaze flickered up to her boyfriend nervously, as it dawned on her that she hadn’t told him that she was asexual yet. Worries flooded her mind. Was he going to be okay with that? Was he going to even understand?

“Y/N, are you okay? You look like a statue.”

Blinking, she realized she had stayed in the same, frozen place, too involved in her thoughts. She met her boyfriend’s came and allowed her muscles to relax, nodding to answer his worried question. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m going to go change,” she said.

He nodded, but still seemed a bit unsure. As she passed him, he caught her hand and gave it a small squeeze. Y/N returned it, but was more focused on going inside. When she got to her room, she changed out of her shirt and into a clean one. She turned to leave her room, but her hand didn’t turn the doorknob.

Sighing, she sat on her bed, thinking. The thing was — she wanted to tell him. But the anxieties surrounding it with not knowing how he would react and not knowing how to tell him overwhelmed her. Should she just say it right out? Or should she try and hint at it? Would he even pick up on the hints? She knew that her boyfriend was smart, but he could be a little bit oblivious at times, she must admit.

Deciding to just say it straight out, Y/N stood up and left her room. She was still nervous as she walked towards the dock, but reminded her that she loved her boyfriend and trusted him. And he loved her and trusted her. It’d be fine.

When she walked out on the dock, she was surprised to see that only Sam was there. “You and Bucky didn’t get into an argument, did you?” She asked, half-jokingly. It wouldn’t be the first time that she would have to mediate one of their arguments. She went and sat beside him on the boat and he took her hand.

“No, no. He actually helped with the door, but I made him leave,” Sam admitted, smiling and interlocking their fingers with an iron grip.

“Why?” Y/N asked, relaxing when she felt his warmth.

“I wanted to talk to you. You seemed a bit . . . Off after Bucky made that joke. Is everything okay?” He asked, softening his voice.

Smiling, Y/N lightly bumped shoulders with her boyfriend. He was already making her feel so much better about coming out and didn’t even know it — that’s why she loved him. “It caught me off-guard. There’s something I have to tell you, Sam—” at his sudden, panicked, look, she quickly assured him that it was nothing bad. “—I’m asexual. I’ve known for a couple years now.”

There was a brief pause and then Sam said, “Oh! Okay.” When he saw Y/N get relieved, his eyes widened. “Were you worried that—? Oh, baby, no—” he quickly paused to plant a kiss on Y/N’s head, causing her to blush and giggle. “It’s more than fine that you are asexual, love. I can’t wait to get you all the Pride stuff! Flags, stickers, MORE FLAGS! And June is soon, we can go to the Pride parade! It’ll be so fun.”

Y/N grinned at her boyfriend’s happiness, overjoyed. She felt like she was floating amongst the clouds — not only was he accepting, but he was so, so excited.

“Thank you, Sammy,” she said, muscles beginning to ache from how much she smiled.

“Of course,” he assured her, leaning in for a meaningful kiss. “I can tell Bucky to lay off the jokes if you want?”

Y/N shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It was a good joke, I’ll admit . . . Let’s just keep this between us, okay? I’m not ready to come out to everyone else just yet,” she said.

Sam nodded. “Aye, aye, Captain!” He said, mock saluting her.

Y/N rolled her eyes and laughed. “You are such a dork,” she said, kissing him again.

“You love me for it,” he teasingly reminded her, and then caught a glimpse of the sunset from behind her shoulder. “Ooh! How about we take the boat for a quick spin before the sun sets?”

“I’d love that, Captain,” Y/N said, moving over to get herself comfortable on the boat while Sam stood up to go steer.

Soon, they were off. As they went further and further from the dock, they both talked about how beautiful and captivating the sunset was. Secretly, though, all they were doing was admiring each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking.

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[whiskeyncoke-redux]

Can’t Go Back

Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: After Sam left you, you go back to Delacroix engaged. Sam is devastated but he needs to clear the air.

Warnings: None

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Engaged. You were engaged. Sam could hardly believe it, but it was true.

Sarah had told him she’d seen the ring. She had run into you while she was out shopping with AJ and Cass. You had seen her and ran up to hug her. Sarah had been surprised to see you there, even more surprised to see the diamond engagement ring glistening on your left hand. She had heard about your break up from Sam when he turned up on her doorstep looking like a kicked puppy over a year ago.

You had opted to stay in D.C. You had said it was because of your job, but in reality you couldn’t bear to go back to Delacroix and face your family and friends. They had told you not to follow Sam out there, but you did… for love. When he had left you, you had been, of course, completely devastated…

“But Sam, I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“It’s for your safety, Y/N.”

“My… my safety? But can’t you, won’t you keep me safe?”

He had shaken his head. “I can, but there are people out there that’ll use you to get to me. I can’t have that.”

“But…”

“I’ve already had Sarah and the boys threatened, I can’t have you too.”

You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. It still refused to compute in your mind. “So… so what? That’s it? You’re just gonna leave me?”

“I just want you to be safe.”

“What if I don’t care?” you had blurted out.

“Doesn’t matter,” he had said, shaking his head. “I do. And this is how it has to be.”

Sam had reached for his bag of clothes he had packed. He had managed to shove all the clothes and toiletries and a few odds and ends he had kept at your place into his duffle bag. He had picked up his bag and headed towards the door. You had followed him, still trying to convince him that breaking up, that leaving you, wasn’t the best way to handle things. When he had reached the front door, you made one last attempt. You had grabbed the bag, making him stop and turn to face you.

“Sam, please,” you had begged, your voice choking up. “Please don’t leave.”

“Y/N, honey, I have to…”

“No, don’t say you have to! You don’t have to!”

“I do, I’m sorry.”

One last desperate attempt. “I love you, Sam. I love you. Don’t go.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, even more sadly.

With that he had managed to gently pry your hand off his bag. He reached for the doorknob and walked out. Closing the door behind him, not looking back at you. Not seeing the tears streaming down your face…

That had been over a year ago, and now you were back, and what’s more you were someone else’s. You were engaged. Sam still couldn’t wrap his head around it. When Sarah related the story back to him, he sat there in shock.

“You know you didn’t have to leave her,” Sarah told him, seeing the look on his face.

“I did,” Sam argued. “I had to for…”

“For her safety, yes, so you’ve said,” she said, interrupting him. “I still think that’s bullshit.”

Sam shot his sister a look.

“Listen, I couldn’t have anything happen to her.”

“Yeah, yeah, well, looks like you don’t have to really worry about that now.”

Sam frowned.

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You didn’t have to say that,” he told her. “So, this fiancé, what’s he like?”

Sarah shrugged. “Didn’t see him.”

“What? Wasn’t he with her?”

“No, he’s still back in D.C. for work. She said he’d be here later this week, to meet the rest of her family and stuff.”

“So, she’s here alone?”

“Yeah, she told me she’s staying at her old place…” she said, then seeing the look on her brother’s face, she added, “Wait, no, Sam don’t do anything stupid.”

“Stupid like what?”

“I don’t know, but it’s you, so I feel like the warning is necessary.”

“Whatever.” He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. “I’m going to get something to eat.”

———–

You were out at Carlos’s bar having lunch and chatting with Carlos about your life in D.C. Of course Carlos had a million and one questions about your fiancé. He too had seen the ring that was shining on your finger.

“So, when do I get to meet him?”

“He’ll be here in a few days. He still has to meet Auntie Deborah and Carolyn and Jimmy and Eric and…”

“And me,” Carlos cut in. “Can’t just have my girl runnin off and marryin someone I ain’t met.”

“And you of course,” you told him with a smile.

“So how’d you meet him?”

You explained how your friends, seeing how upset you were at Sam’s leaving, had tried everything to cheer you up: taking you on trips, spas, lunches, all of that. Anything to try and get your mind off Sam. One night they had gotten you to go out to a bar, you had gotten drunk and woken up at this guy’s place in his bed…

“He didn’t try nothin with you?” Carlos interjected. “Because if he did…”

“No, no,” you told him, shaking your head. “As a matter of fact, he let me sleep in his bed, he took the couch. He made me breakfast the next morning. We talked and before I left he asked me out. And well, from that…” you held up your hand with the engagement ring.

“Well, that’s good,” he said with a smile.

“Yeah.”

Carlos got a serious look before asking you “You seen Sam?”

You shook your head sadly. “No. But I did see Sarah and the boys.”

“Hmmm….”

“What?”

“Nothin, it’s just you shoulda seen him when he came back here. He looked horrible.”

You shrugged. “Well that’s on him,” you said.

“Mmm hmm, well I’m sure he had his reasons,” he said, before nodding at the person who had just come in. “Speak of the devil.”

You turned in your seat to see Sam standing there looking like a deer caught in headlights when he saw you. You both stared at each other before you slowly turned back to your meal.

Sam made his way over to the bar and took a seat. Carlos looked between you two, shaking his head, before getting up from his seat at your table and going over to take Sam’s order. When he brought his food out, they had a quiet whispered argument before you heard Carlos exclaim “Fine, man, do what you want,” before heading back into the kitchen shaking his head again.

You picked at your food, your appetite gone, determinedly not looking over at Sam. You were slightly ashamed of yourself because when you had seen him, you felt your heart skip a beat. You hadn’t expected to feel anything but anger upon seeing him, but in reality you wanted to hop out of your seat and run into his arms. You silently admonished yourself. You were engaged after all. Why should you feel anything but contempt for the man who had left you, whatever his reasons may have been?

You stared down at your plate, before digging in your purse and pulling out some money and placing it on the table. You stood up and gathered your things. Carlos had come out of the kitchen and saw you.

“I’ll be seeing you around, Carlos. I’ll bring Andrew by to see you when he gets here, ‘kay?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart,” he said, coming around the counter to give you a hug. Over his shoulder you saw Sam frown down at his food as if it had offended him.

When you let Carlos go, you had made it halfway to the door before you heard Sam call out to you.

“I hear congratulations are in order.”

You stopped and turned to him. “What?”

He nodded at your ring. “I talked to Sarah, she told me you were engaged.”

“Yeah,” you said, twisting the ring on your finger.

“So, who is he? Do I know him?”

You shook your head. “His name is Andrew Jones. He works for Senator Jackson.”

“I know Jackson, one of the more honest ones in Washington.”

“Yeah, yeah. Andrew likes working for him.”

“Didn’t think you’d go for a guy in politics.”

“What can I say? Apparently I have a thing for guys who try to make the world a little better.”

Sam chuckled quietly at that, making you smile slightly. You had missed that laugh.

“He a good guy?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“Good. Good.”

“Right,” you said, turning back to the door. “Well, bye then.”

“So how’d you meet him?” Sam asked, stopping you again.

“At a bar with some friends,” you told him, omitting the passing-out-drunk-at-his-place story. Sam didn’t need to know how hard of a time you had getting over him.

“Mmm,” Sam said, staring back at your ring, a dark look on his face. “Well, as long as you’re happy.”

“Yeah, I am,” you said. Sam just nodded and turned back to his food.

You looked over at Carlos, who just shook his head again, before heading out the door. He watched you walk up the street then turned to Sam.

“The hell was that?”

“What?”

“You haven’t seen her in over a year and that’s how you talk to her?”

“What am I supposed to say, man?”

“How about I’m sorry? I didn’t want to leave you? I was heartbroken when I came back here and moped around for months?”

“I didn’t mope around for months.”

Carlos snorted.

“Besides she’s engaged, ain’t like she’s gonna change her mind. We can’t go back to the way things were.”

“No, but you still need to talk to her.”

“Why?”

“Because she told me how hard it was for her to get over you. And I saw the look she gave you when you came in. There’s still something there.”

Sam shook his head again.

“Well, it’s your life,” Carlos said, pouring him a drink. He looked like he needed one, or ten.

————

Later that night you were in your old apartment. Your landlady, Mrs. Philips, hadn’t been able to rent it out, so when she heard you were back in town, she offered it back to you to stay in. You had accepted mainly because you didn’t want to stay with family and have them prying and you wanted to have some place to be alone with Andrew when he got there.

You were getting ready to take a shower and head to bed, when you heard a knock on your door.

“Who on earth could that be?” you wondered as you went to answer it, expecting some random family member.

When you opened the door you were shocked to find Sam standing there; what’s more you were shocked to feel your heart start beating fast again when you saw him.

“Sam, what are you doing here?”

“I-I, um, I needed to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Us.”

“There is no ‘us.’”

“Please, Y/N, I have to… I need to talk to you.”

You sighed and stepped back to let him in. You watched as he made his way, a bit clumsily, to the sofa you had.

“Have you been drinking?”

He nodded. “Lil bit.”

“Sam…”

“I know, I know… I stayed at Carlos’s for a bit longer than I meant to. We talked and drank. He’s the reason I’m here. Said I needed to talk to you.”

“Maybe we need to wait until you sober up,” you said, folding your arms.

He shook his head. “I wanna talk now. Carlos said that you told him how hard a time you had trying to get over me, and he said that he saw how you looked at me when I came in.”

Damnit, Carlos, you cursed silently before saying out loud “Okay and?”

“He thinks you still feel something for me. I need to know if that’s true or not.”

You shook your head. “Sam, I’m getting married.”

“Not an answer to my question.”

“I think it is.”

“It’s not though.”

“Whatever I say wouldn’t change anything anyway. You left me, remember? I had to move on.”

“I know, I know I did. And I had my reasons. Even though Sarah said they were bullshit.”

“She was always smarter than you.”

“Just tell me, do you still feel anything for me?”

You were quiet for a minute before asking “Do you still feel anything for me? No better yet, did you ever?”

“How can you ask me that?”

“You left so easily, I feel like it’s a fair question.” You sighed. “Look, Sam, I was about to head to bed. Listen, stay here on the couch, sleep it off, we’ll talk in the morning.”

“We need to talk now.”

You shook your head. “I can’t talk to you like this. Just stay out here, go to sleep, and we’ll talk later.”

He tried to protest, but you shushed him. Once you got him settled on the sofa, you headed into your bathroom and took your shower. When you came out you peered into the living room. Sam was laid out on the couch, his eyes closed. You let out a breath of relief. You weren’t ready to have that conversation with him. You honestly were surprised at how you still reacted to him. Maybe you did still feel something for him… No, there was no maybe about it, you did still feel something.

You headed back into your bedroom and pulled on your pajamas. You were about to get in bed when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. You opened it and there stood Sam.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“No.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I just wanted to say that of course I felt something for you. I love you, I always have, I never stopped.”

“Okay.”

“And if you still don’t feel anything for me, just say so, and I’ll-I’ll leave.”

“Sam..”

He grabbed your hand. “Just say so.”

You looked into his eyes and you gave in. “Of course I still do. I tried, tried so hard to be mad at you, to hate you for leaving me, but I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry, honey, I really am… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Right,” you said, taking your hand from his.

You were aware of how close he was, closer than he had been to you in so long. You took a step back, but he followed, still staying close.

“Is… is there anything else?” you asked.

“No, I… I’ll go back to the sofa.”

“Okay.”

But neither of you moved. You stared up at him, at that face you had loved, that you still loved, so dearly. You sighed quietly and turned to go back to your bed. You felt his hand grab your arm and before you could even think, he had turned you to face him, and his lips were on yours. It had been so long since you had felt him kiss you, but your body reacted as if you hadn’t been apart from him at all. When he finally broke the kiss, he looked at you hard. You didn’t give it a second thought, you pulled him further into your room, before kissing him again. His arms went around you and you felt yourself melt into his embrace. He lifted you up and carried you over to your bed.

————

The next morning, when you woke up in Sam’s arms, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt a sensation of peace wash over you like you hadn’t felt in a long time. You stretched and the morning light filtering through the curtains caught on your ring. You looked down at it and sighed.

“Morning,” you heard Sam whisper.

You turned to him with a sad look in your eyes, dreading what you had to do now. “Morning.”

“What’s wrong?”

You held up your hand with the ring on it in response.

“Ah, right.”

“I.. I can’t leave him,” you said sadly. “Because, while I still do have feelings for you. I do love Andrew. He makes me happy. And I want to be with him. I can’t hurt him.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Do you really?”

He nodded. “We can’t go back to the way things were before. I know that. I messed up. I can’t say I’m sorry enough. And while I wish I could fix it, I know I can’t. Not really. Besides I love you and I want you to be happy and if he makes you happy, then that’s how it has to be.”

You rested your hand on his face, your thumb stroking his cheek lightly. “I want you to know,” you said quietly. “That a part of me will always love you Sam Wilson, but this, us, it won’t work. Not anymore.”

“I know,” he said, pulling you close to him and kissing you on your forehead. “I know.”

The two of you stayed like that for a while, before he finally got up, dressed, and headed out.

———–

You went about the next two days feeling lighter than you had in months. You felt that you had finally let go of any remaining ill feelings you’d had been holding on to.

When Andrew showed up, you were able to greet him with a warm happiness that even he commented on.

“Seems like being home did you some good, huh?”

“Yeah, it did.”

Andrew smiled at you. “Excellent. So, who all do I have to meet?”

“Well, there’s Auntie Deborah and Carolyn. Eric and Jimmy. You have to meet Carlos or he’ll hunt both of us down. And skin you alive.”

“Why me?”

“Well, he loves me so…”

Andrew laughed. You told him that your cousin Michael had planned a cookout so that he could meet everyone at once.

“Now, don’t be worried. They’ll all ask you a million questions, but they mean well. Besides, you’ve already met my mom and dad, and that was the hard part.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Oh, daddy likes you, he’s just that way with everyone.”

“So who is gonna be at this get together?”

“From what Mike told me, about half of Delacroix,” you said, making Andrew groan. You laughed at his face. “It’ll be okay, I’ll be there as a buffer.”

You took him back to your apartment where he unpacked and settled in.

———–

Once you arrived at the cookout-slash-engagement party, Andrew was given a warm welcome. Everyone was kind to him, even Carlos. Although, he had told Andrew that at any point if he hurt you, he would cut him up and feed him to the fishes.

While you were sitting around chatting, you saw Sarah come up with AJ and Cass in tow, and trailing behind them was Sam. He smiled when he saw you and you introduced Andrew to them all. Andrew had an odd look when he met Sam, but you had told him that he’d be there, and you had made him promise to be civil. Andrew said he would, after all, Sam was kind of the reason you were engaged to him, there was no real reason to dislike him.

While you were getting the food set out, Sam made his way to Andrew.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Sam asked him.

Andrew nodded and made to follow him over to a place where they wouldn’t be overheard.

“First,” Sam said. “I want to offer you my congratulations. Y/N is a special lady. You are a very lucky man.”

“Thank you,” Andrew replied.

“I don’t know how much about me she’s told you…”

“Quite a bit, mostly about how and why you broke up. She was devastated. But I understand your reason. You didn’t want her to come into harm’s way, right?”

Sam nodded. “That’s right.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, and it’s not just because I’m marrying her, but I think you did the right thing.”

“You do?”

Andrew nodded. “Yeah, I understand, I wouldn’t want her to get hurt either. And I promise I’ll keep her as safe as I can.”

“Good. Good,” Sam said. “I want you to know that we were able to make amends and I want you to know that there are no hard feelings between us… between any of us.”

“Good to know.”

“Finally, I want you to know that no matter what has happened between us, I do still care for her, I do still love her, nothing’s gonna change that, she’s still my girl,” Sam stopped, seeing Andrew’s face. “No, no, l won’t come between you two. She’s told me that she loves you, she wants to marry you and be with you. I can’t deny her her happiness. She and I… Well, we can’t go back. But I want you to promise me something.”

“What’s that?”

“That you don’t hurt her. I know everyone has made some sort of threat to you about that.”

Andrew laughed. “Yeah, Carlos said he’d cut me up and feed me to the fishes.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like Carlos. But I’m not making a threat. I just… I just want you to promise that you’ll love her and cherish her. I hurt her, I know I did. Don’t… don’t make the same mistake I did. Because she doesn’t deserve it. You see, when she loves someone, she loves them with her whole heart, with everything she has. I want you to be worthy of that, to be the man that deserves that love…. Because I wasn’t.”

Andrew stared at him, Sam’s eyes were pleading, full of tears.

“That’s all I want you to do,” Sam told him. “Promise me that.”

“I promise. I’ll do my best,” Andrew said sincerely. “I’ll do my best to be worthy of her.”

Sam patted him on the shoulder. “Good and thank you.”

You called Andrew over to get him some food, and before he walked away, he stuck his hand out for Sam to shake. Sam took it with a smile.

“What were you two over there talking about?” you asked Andrew when he came over to you.

“He made me promise to be the man that deserves your love… because he wasn’t. I’d never think an ex would be like that, it’s a bit of a surprise. But I have to say, he’s a pretty good guy.”

“Yeah,” you said looking over at Sam who was staring out over the water. “Yeah he is.”

#sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson fic #sam wilson angst #sam wilson x you #sam wilson x y/n #marvel #marvel reader insert #reader insert #sam wilson reader insert #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson fan fic #the falcon #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america fanfiction #whiskey writes

[weyirn]

Marvel men with a bf that's bigger and taller than them and likes to carry them in a bridal style or likes to pick them up randomly

Marvel x Male!Reader

Taller/Bigger Boyfriend That Likes Picking Them Up

----------------------------------------------

☆Steve becomes flustered at first, and it takes him a little while to get used to it (not that he doesn't enjoy it or anything). Nowadays, he just relaxes in your arms, liking to be vulnerable and letting go once in a while. It shows how much he trusts you, allowing you to show this side of him. But picking him up randomly will result in him scolding you.

❄️Bucky likes it way more than he thinks he should...At first, he was surprised by it and stiffened up in your arms, but slowly relaxed and leaned into your chest, because he knows he can be vulnerable with you. He feels safe with you. But when it comes to being picked up randomly, he doesn't enjoy it. He would rather have a heads up before you do it instead.

💲Secretly fanboying Tony doesn't admit that he enjoys it and makes snark comments about it, but then he starts to complain when you would put him down. It's fun to use this to your advantage and tease him about much he likes being carried by you, watching him roll his eyes and get flustered by it.

🕸Peter blushes and shyly clings to you, not wanting you to put him down. He feels a little secure being in your arms. There are times where he just wants to be in your arms, so he'll just sit in your lap and you'll have your arms wrapped around him. Just anything to feel your touch.

⌲If you're randomly picking him up, Sam would kind of take it as a challenge, as he would try and catch you right before you can put your hands on him. If he fails to catch you, then he'll be like, "you're not going to put me down anytime soon, aren't you?"

🐜Scott feels his heart flutter whenever you pick him up, and immediately clings to you. Sometimes, he holds his arms in the air, hinting that you should pick him up and carry him. He will have fun if you pick him up randomly, being both surprised but also laughing it off.

💚The only time Bruce will let you pick him up is when he's exhausted and you're carrying him to bed. He doesn't feel comfortable being picked up randomly (cuz it might make his nerves bad).

⚡️Thor is...actually surprised that you can pick him up, but that doesn't mean it's not a pleasant surprise for him. He's always clinging to you and smiling, liking how easy it is for you to carry him. He'll always laugh along with you when you would pick him up randomly, enjoying the pleasant surprise.

🐍It always makes Loki grumpy that you pick him up; he thinks you're doing it to tease him, or to rub it in his face of how bigger and stronger you are of him. He will never admit that he may enjoy it, considering the fact that he doesn't even try to get out of your arms when you hold him.

🖤Eddie actually thinks this is much better than him walking on his own (and Venom telling him how much of a slow walker he is). He just doesn't let you do it in public unless he's exhausted. But you're not picking up Venom any time soon (cuz he won't let you, and he's way bigger than you anyway, lol).

#male reader #x male reader #male!reader #male reader insert #avengers x male!reader #marvel x male reader #steve rogers x male reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky x male reader #bucky x reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x reader #sam wilson x male reader #sam wilson x reader #eddie brock x male reader #eddie brock x reader #venom x male reader #venom x reader #scott lang x male reader #scott lang x reader #Thor x male reader #thor x reader #loki x reader #loki x male reader #tony stark x male reader #tony stark x reader #bruce banner x male reader #bruce banner x reader

[anonymityisfunwriter]

The GED

Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader Summary - There's more than one way to be smart. Or so you've been told. But how on Earth do you go about proving that you're not (the stupid, illiterate Avenger) dumb?

Anon's 1K Celebration | The GED Series List

"Can you please just listen to me?" Sam begs you. "I'm telling you this is a bad idea."

"Or it's an amazing idea and it'll all be for the better!" you counter, plating the last of your freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

He snatches a cookie from the plate when he thinks you're not watching, "Or you'll make an already strained relationship like ten times worse."

You glare at him, snatching the cookie back and placing it back on the plate, "Or by then end of the day we'll have a new set of friends."

Bucky groans, entering the room just in time to hear your rebuttal to Sam's negativity, "Please, not more friends. I don't like the ones I have as it is."

"See?" Sam wildly gestures to Bucky. "When do we ever agree on anything? It just proves that this is a terrible idea!"

"Hi," Bucky finally greets you, gently pecking your lips. "Missed you. Now, who exactly are we trying to make friends with?"

"The SHIELD agents downstairs," you blithely reply.

Bucky quirks an eyebrow at you, "Why? They hate us."

"That's exactly what I said!" Sam frantically exclaims.

"Have we ever asked ourselves why they hate us?" you muse. "Maybe we need to be a little nicer to them."

"Or maybe it's because they're bitter and jealous that we're better than them," Sam remarks.

"Well, it's definitely not because of Sam's incredible sense of humility," Bucky sarcastically retorts.

"Shut up," Sam snarks. "And we are better. Our stats are better, we get first pick of assignments, our mission times are like a third of theirs, Fury trusts us a hell of a lot more, and we get all the good snacks."

"And that means we can't be friends?" you rhetorically ask. "We work together all the time!"

"Listen, it's not that bad of a deal," Bucky tries to convince you. "They tolerate us. We tolerate them. It's never caused a problem on missions or anything, so who cares? Not everyone in this world is going to like you."

"Who else doesn't like me?" you frantically question, quirking an eyebrow at Bucky.

"Everyone likes you," Bucky assures you.

"Except the people downstairs," Sam teases.

"That's it!" You throw your hands up in frustration. "I'm going down there. I'm just going to bring these cookies down there and talk to them. They're just people, I'm sure they're all really nice!"

"Nice going," Bucky mutters to Sam, elbowing him in the ribs. "Come on, can't we just leave well enough alone? Isn't it enough that the people who actually know you like you? And not to mention, I like you and I don't like anybody."

"Aww.." you coo at Bucky, caressing his cheek. "Nope, too late, I'm committed."

"Why?" Sam groans. "You're never going to get everyone in the world to like you!"

"Oh, yes, I can! I've spend my entire time out in the world cultivating a personality that's impossible not to like just to satisfy my compulsive people pleasing tendencies."

Bucky's eyebrows furrow as a teasing smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, "People really don't see this side of you enough."

Sam nods, "You're a little scary when you think people don't like you."

"Scary or strangely endearing?" you wonder.

"Scary! Definitely scary!"

Bucky sighs to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're not going to leave this alone, are you?"

You beam at the two of them, scooping up the plate of cookies, "Not even a little bit."

"It's a bad idea!" Sam bellows down the corridor as you walk away from him.

You roll your eyes as you step onto the elevator and tell Friday to take you to the third floor, where the SHIELD agents typically hung out.

It wasn't a bad idea. It was a great idea. What could go wrong with trying to bring people closer together? They were just people. They were people you had to trust with your lives, why not get to know them a little bit more?

As you step off the elevator, you immediately notice that this layout is almost identical to the one upstairs, except without all the extravagant touches of Tony Stark. You amble down the hallway, looking for a sign of anyone. You figure if the layout is the same, their common room will be in the same place as the one upstairs. 

You're right, you realize when you start to hear faint voices from where you thought their common room would be. Even all the way down the hall, voices echo off the walls as you make your way closer.

You certainly don't mean to eavesdrop or listen into a conversation that you're not supposed to hear.

No, you definitely don't mean to eavesdrop on your new friends, but the open floor plan does nothing to dampen the sounds of their booming voices. 

"Yeah, I leave first thing tomorrow," an unfamiliar voice sighs.

"Who with?" someone else asks.

You don't like the way they spit Bucky's name out in disgust, "Barnes."

"Oh, he's the worst!" the same voice dramatically groans. You silently scoff at the insinuation that Bucky was the worst. "He just sits and stares like he's got nothing better to do."

"Please, I'd take him over his girlfriend any day," a different female scoffs.

You freeze at the mention of yourself. You know you should go. You shouldn't be listening to this. The things they were saying were definitely not nice, but neither was eavesdropping.

"Oh come on, she's not that bad."

You sigh in relief, feeling a little better that someone was defending you. You could go upstairs and tell Sam that he was wrong, not all the SHIELD agents were that bad.

And in the next second, you were proved very, very wrong.

"She's just such an idiot!" Your stomach twists in knots as the same SHIELD agent continues complaining about you. This is what you got for eavesdropping, you tell yourself. They're entitled to their own opinions about you. Better yet, you could change their minds and show them that there was more to you than what meets the eye. You just don't want to believe that people can be this mean, that it's so easy for them to be this casually cruel. They just didn't know you. You were sure that if they did know you all, they wouldn't be saying such awful things. "I don't know what everyone sees in her, but I swear I can see right through that whole Sunshine act."

"I dunno, she acted like that on the last mission I had with her."

"She didn't let up? Not once?"

"Nope! The whole time."

"I'd rather get caught by the bad guys then deal with her for a whole week."

"Who knows, maybe Barnes likes them dumb," the agent giggles. The words feel like a punch to the gut. You want to leave, to turn on your heels and pretend like you never heard a thing, but you're frozen in shock. "Like a Stepford Wife thing."

"If that's true, then they'll be together forever," the same agent, the one going on a mission with Bucky tomorrow, jokes. 

"What do you think they even talk about?"

"Who knows?"

"My question is what kind of adult makes it knowing as little as she does?"

"The kind with Fury in their back pocket."

"Exactly! It's the only reason she's even apart of the team. I'd bet anything she's never even picked up a book."

"Can I tell you guys something?" an agent exclaims. "Someone got into a bunch of their files upstairs. And guess what? She can't even read! She's illiterate! An illiterate Avenger!"

Your blood runs cold. Those were private. They held so much intimate information about you and your history and they were using it to make fun of you, make fun of the people that chose to love you.

You weren't sure what was worse, that they were using your past to make fun of you, or that they knew intimate details of your past, they knew the torment you were put through as a child and they still thought it was funny, they still used it as a way to belittle you. As though you had any control over it. As though it was your fault.

It's only then that you realize that tears are staining your cheeks, that you're still standing in the hallway with a plate of cookies as a peace offering for the SHIELD agents making fun of you and your friends. 

"Probably doesn't even know what a book is. Maybe her next mission should be a day of kindergarten."

It's mean. It's meaner than they have any right to be, but a lightbulb goes off in your head as you finally regain the ability to leave.

You furiously wiped away your tears, storming down the corridor and back to your side of the Compound. You leave the plate of pastries on the counter for your team mates.

And you made a decision right then and there. You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't try to convince them that you were smart. You would just do better. Be better. You were going to show them that you could be more than the illiterate Avenger. 

In that very moment, you decide your very next mission: School.

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Anon's 1K Celebration

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez@ludicbouquetfromearth@matchat3a@famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff@valoraxx@blue786sworld@buckyandgeraltsupremacy@geminigengar@ansaturn@ecolle@lexhalstead3@ybflkmj@mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112@thegirlnextdoorssister@toomanyfanficsbruh@moonlightreader649@breathtaking-cynthia@mirikusashes@beans-and-toast@niyahcoca@katiechikin@elxvrr@antiheroxsblog@infamouslyclumsy@krissydclayton93@buckysbarne@deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic@whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy

#anonymityisfunwriter #anonymityisfun #anon's 1k celebration #grumpy sunshine trope #grumpy sunshine #grumpy x sunshine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #reader insert #x reader #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #bucky x female reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky x you #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine

[urdepressedslut]

You’re Mine, Sunshine ❝part twelve❞

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Reality is hitting you as you, Bucky, Steve and his men all venture off to a secret safe house only Steve knows about. The events from the last couple of days are starting to hit you with a sickening force, leaving you weak and crippled.

♡ Warnings: language, angst, fluff, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, sickness, paranoia, death threats, murderous thoughts, stalking, sam and bucky being absolutely my favs

series masterlist

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Bodyguard!Au Mob!Au

It was almost taunting the way your fingertips thumped, the last skim of your fingers across the book spines in your library. You tried to think of this being bittersweet, but could only find the bitterness of the situation. You were being ripped from your home, because of your Father. You were being forced to flee your house because of his sick and twisted mind, somewhere in his head he thought he was doing right by going after you. You couldn't even stomach the thought for too long, the mere mention of your Father's hatred towards enough to send you into a spiral.

The outside world passed by through your unfocused gaze. The buildings lessening and the trees getting denser. You weren't for sure where you were headed, but as long as Bucky was the one guiding you there— you didn't care.

"Hey." Bucky's voice brought you back to reality.

The dark and suffocating thoughts floating away as his smooth voice broke through the haze. You took more time than usual, taking in his expression briefly before responding.

"Hi James." You whispered, scooting closer to his side, tightening your hold on his hand.

His face dropped, his eyes softening at your vulnerable state. He wrapped his arm around your frame, tucking you closer to his side. The warmth from his body heated your own, your heartbeat slowing almost immediately from the feeling.

"You doing alright?" He asked, his eyes not breaking from your face, trying to catch every twitch and shift in your expression.

You forced a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes and nodded regardless of your inner struggles.

"I'm hanging in there. How much longer?" You reassured him, sneaking a peak out the window, only to find the thick forest.

"Not too much longer. We're headed to a safe house— one that only Steve knows about." He told you.

You furrowed your brows in curiosity.

"You've never been there?" You asked him, and he shook his head.

"No, but the less people that know— the better. Your Father won't be able to find you there." He told you.

You nodded and turned back towards the window, rubbing your thumb over the metal ridges on his hand.

"You'll stay with me right?" You whispered, your doubts getting the best of you.

He gently grabbed your chin, turning you towards him. His eyes shined with intense passion, a strong sense of genuineness within them.

"The whole time. I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He promised and your anxieties vanished.

Your chest warmed comfortably, the safety he provided from his presence alone enough to calm you. You appreciated it greatly.

"Okay."

His eyes softened at your small voice, the urge to wrap you up in his arms overwhelming.

“C’mere.” He voiced, pulling you even closer.

You hugged around his body, burying your face into his chest. His body blocked you from the outside world, muting the chaos for a moment. It was peaceful and you felt powerful against him— like no one could hurt you.

The rumble of the car and Bucky’s heartbeat lulled you to sleep. There wasn’t a place you felt more comfortable in, than his arms. You couldn’t help but doze off with his arms caging you protectively.

~

“We’re here doll.” Bucky whispered, earning a sleepy groan from you.

You snuggled your face deeper into his body and had him chuckling, gently pulling you away from him, his metal hand smoothing down your now messy hair.

“You can sleep when we get inside, okay?” He told you, earning another incoherent groan.

You perked up, forgetting the situation completely in your dreamless sleep. You forgot for just a moment that your Father was practically hunting you. The whole mess crashes into you yet again, you weren’t tired anymore with the sudden sick feeling in your stomach. In fact, you tensed up— a wave of nausea approaching.

Without responding, you followed Bucky out of the car— hanging onto his arm. You weren’t sure if it was from nerves or the sudden dizzy spell that came over you.

You hoped it wasn’t a panic attack that your body was brewing.

Although you were new to these attacks, having gone most of your life without them— you couldn’t help but be terrified of them. The lack of control you had when one was happening, you were afraid of what would happen if you had a really severe one.

Your grip tightened on his arm and he glanced down at you, taking note of your unfocused wide eyes, face paling with a tinge of green.

He was immediately on edge, hurrying his steps up the cabin estate. It was a secluded wooden house in the middle of nowhere— it looked intimidating from the outside. The fear of being stranded present, but it was a safe house. He had to remind himself.

She was safe here. He told himself.

Steve entered the house first, you and Bucky following after— Steve’s men scoped the area, staying on alert for any danger.

“You guys will be safe here. The kitchen is stocked with food, as well as more food down in the basement.” He informed you two, although the way you were staring blankly ahead— Steve knew he was basically talking to Bucky.

Bucky furrowed his brows at the news that the kitchen was stocked— the basement too?

Steve seemed to read his mind.

“Have known about this place for awhile, just never knew I’d actually be using it. Asked my men to stock the place before we headed out here.” Steve said.

Bucky felt a wave of great appreciation flow through him, Steve was really doing the most and he was lucky to have him as a friend.

“Thanks man, we appreciate it.” He spoke for the both of you— to which you didn’t mind considering your lack of words.

“Just try and lay low— Pierce and Rumlow are going to be finding out that his daughter and her bodyguard are missing very soon— as well as the whole perimeter squad.” Steve told him, making fear bloom in his chest.

Bucky swallowed, knowing this was just the beginning.

“Where are you all going to be staying? You don’t seem to be eager in moving in.” Bucky wondered, noticing the lack of moving in that was happening.

Steve waved him off like it was no big deal.

“Truthfully, we all aren’t built for sleep.” He tried to joke. “We have a small shed just behind the house, that’s where we will be keeping our stuff. Where we will take cover if we need to— but otherwise we got a house to guard.”

Bucky nodded in appreciation again and a part of him wondered if Steve was trying to redeem himself after judging you all too quickly. Despite it being a shitty thing, he didn’t think Steve realized just how forgetting you were. You’d see Steve as a good man any day, even with his rough start.

“And you…” Steve said lastly, glancing down to you before back up to him, “You got a girl to protect.”

Steve reminded him that not only was he here with you willingly, he was also doing his job to protect you. Things were different now though, he was protecting you from the bottom of his heart— not for the man that hired him.

Bucky wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. He ended up having to protect you from the person that hired him to you.

Steve left without another word and it left Bucky alone with you. He found you rather quiet, clinging onto him with white knuckles as you continued to space out.

“Hey… (Y/n)…” Bucky got your attention, your eyes focusing on his.

He noticed you still had this sickly green to your usual healthy glow, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Doll, you okay? You look like you’re about ready to fall over.” He pointed out, making sure he worded it correctly.

You nodded slowly and wiped a hand across your clammy forehead, agreeing with him that you weren’t feeling too hot. You weren’t sure if this was anxiety or if you were coming down with something— either way you felt like shit.

“Yeah, I’m not feeling too good. Think I just need to lie down.” You mumbled, leaning into him as you felt yourself sway on the balls of your feet.

Bucky felt your weight press into him. He felt his heart twinge at the way your voice sounded so weak and unsure. He knew you had been through way more than anyone could handle in the last couple of days— but he couldn’t help but be angry for you. You deserved better and he would think that until the day came where you got the perfect life he knew you deserved.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed.” He told you softly.

You nodded weakly and closed your eyes as another dizzy spell passed through you, making you out all your weight on him. He didn’t hesitate scoop you up into his arms, in the moment worsening the dizzy spell— but after you settled into his arms, the feeling washed away slightly and you melted into his embrace.

“I got you, just close your eyes.” He whispered and you didn’t waste a second and followed his commands.

You were almost lulled to sleep by his strong heartbeat thumping against your cheek, the way his warmth eased the chills you felt.

He had made it to the bedroom, placing you down onto the queen sized bed gently, making sure to pull the blankets back before placing you in.

You didn’t even open your eyes and sent him a weak smile, grabbing onto his wrist before he could move away. Bucky smiled at your tiny hand gripping onto him.

“I’m going to get you some medicine doll, get you a glass of water. Okay?” He told you, his voice ever so soft when speaking to you.

You nodded and let go of his hand, letting it sit on your chest. Your head pulled to the side and your smile started to fade as your exhausted, stressed brain turned off.

Bucky let himself gaze down at you for another moment, getting lost in you. His mind swirled around you constantly and if he wasn’t thinking about you— he wasn’t thinking at all.

He left quietly after he noticed you were out. You needed the rest— considering you’d be up tossing and turning later. His heart hurt for you, all you had to go through recently.

Exiting the room, and shut the door and glanced the the left— noticing Sam standing there.

“Brought some goodies.” He announced and it was then Bucky glanced down at his arms.

He was holding a little bowl of soup and had a glass of water and pills in his other hand. Bucky wipes the annoyed expression off his face and for the first time— appreciated Sam being here. Although he wouldn’t admit that.

“Thanks.” He said quietly, taking the goodies out of his hands.

Sam kept a smirk on his face, but it wasn’t his usual teasing one. It was soft and kind.

“You guys are adorable.” Sam said.

Bucky looked at him with an angry squinted expression, so many words on the tip of his tongue but he held himself back.

Sam wanted to laugh at Bucky’s wild expression but waved him off and held back his giggles.

“I overheard you talking to her. No judgement here— I think it’s sweet you actually are nice to someone.” Sam jabbed, and Bucky rolled his eyes.

Of course Sam had to give a compliment while still messing with him— all in one go.

“Okay well, try not to be a creep next time.” Bucky muttered lowly.

“Hey! I was dropping some much needed supplies off— so you’re welcome.” Sam added. turning and walking away, down the stairs to the living space.

Bucky sent one last glare his way until he was out of view. Somewhere deep down in his grumpy soul— he appreciated Sam.

Ew... he hated even thinking the thought.

Shaking his head clear, he headed back inside to you. He was surprised to find you sitting up and leaning back against eh headboard— last he saw you, you were out cold. While he was happy to see your eyes, he hated the way they were so dull. Your whole being looking mentally exhausted— and he wished he could take it all away.

"Hey, you can sleep if you want. I'll stay here with you." He reminded you, thinking that maybe you woke up and panicked that he wasn't there.

You nodded and scooted over, patting the spot next to you.

"Lay with me?" You asked, your voice hoarse and tired.

He softened his gaze, and placed the supplies down and quickly got in bed with you. Slipping off his shoes and jacket before cuddling up next to you.

"Thank you James. I don't know what I'd do without you." You whispered, laying against his chest while he looped his arms around you— holding you close.

"You don't even have to think about that possibility, because I'm never gonna leave you (Y/n)." He whispered back, smoothing your hair down and rubbing your back soothingly.

"I know you won't... but my Fath— Pierce may split us apart." You voiced your fear.

It happened to be Bucky's too, with th way his arms tightened around you protectively. He just couldn't bear that thought for too long or he'd start to panic. He knew it was smart to digest the thought because it was very much possible— which was terrifying.

"He can try." Was the only thing Bucky could come up with.

But it seemed to bring massive comfort to you, as you hugged him tighter, burying your face into his chest and lulling off to sleep without another word. He breathed in your scent, relishing the way your body was fitting perfectly against his. In different circumstances, he'd be at ease— but the anxiety always ate away at him with the threat over your head.

He only assumed the fury that would ignite the second Pierce noticed you were gone. It made him shiver.

~

Pierce stood in your bedroom, holding up a dainty frame— a picture and you and your Mother inside. His lip snarled and twitched at the sight, the way his heart started to pound— his vision turning red.

Pierce yelled out, throwing the picture frame across the room— the delicate piece shattering against the grooved wall. The pieces scattered amongst the room, the high pitched trickle of wood and glass fading away. The only sound left in the room was his heavy breathing.

The door clicked open and shut, and without turning around— Pierce could tell who it was just by the footsteps.

“Seems we have a runaway on our hands.” Rumlow acknowledged.

Pierce scoffed, struggling his posture and fixing his suit and tie, adjusting his cuffs back to normal after his outburst.

“Ungrateful little bitch thinks she can hide from me— run from me.” He muttered under his breath.

“Seems we’ve got some traitors too. Didn’t know Rogers had it in him to go against you like that.” He pointed out, only making Pierce shake his head in betrayal and anger.

“Should’ve known Rogers would stick by Barnes— two were close before working for me. I knew that and still took a chance.” He voiced his frustration.

Rumlow nodded his head, remembering Bucky all too well— so many memories he loved to look back on. Although he couldn’t say the same about Bucky.

“Overall— I wouldn’t worry sir,” Rumlow started, holding onto Pierce’s shoulder with confidence, “I’m always down for a hunt.”

Pierce and Rumlow smirked at each other before breaking into an evil laugh, both of their sick and twisted minds coming together to bring you hell.

Pierce wondered how long you could stay hidden, and he couldn’t wait for the day he found you. Ending things once and for all.

His dear beloved daughter.

< TAGLIST IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED >

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #the winter soldier #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #buckybarnes #fluff #bucky barnes fic #grump!bodyguard!bucky barnes x sunshine!reader #grumpy sunshine trope #grumpy bucky barnes x sunshine reader #grumpy x sunshine trope #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bodyguard!bucky barnes x reader #bodyguard bucky is my weakness #you’re mine sunshine series #james buchanan bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #mob au #bodyguard au #fluffy #angsty #stalking mention

[whatthetumblfck]

I Was Born Ready

Summary: You're kidnapped on a mission gone wrong and it only gets worse. You eventually escape, but will Bucky and the team see you the same way?

Word Count: 6517

Warnings: swearing, some injuries, angst, whump

Content: Bucky x reader, Y/N, Avengers, whump, kidnapping. All of my fics are self-indulgent.

Please don't claim my work as your own, but feel free to reblog.

You wiped the sweat from your brow.  As far as you could tell, it had been 5, maybe 6, days since you were taken. You knew what HYDRA were doing. They were trying to break you. You adjusted your legs and shifted your weight in the dark, cramped space.  For the last several hours, you had been locked in some sort of box, just big enough to crouch or sit with crossed legs. It was hot as hell and you’d been sweating profusely, wondering how much longer you would last before passing out from dehydration or dying from heat stroke. But you tried not to worry about it. They will come for you soon. He will come for you. You just need to hang on a little while longer.

               A few more hours had passed, and the heat was suffocating. What little strength you had left was dwindling. You rested your head against the wall of the enclosure and closed your eyes, fighting the nauseating dizziness that threatened to overcome you.  The rattling of chains caught your attention. It seemed like the sound was getting closer. It was then you realized you had drifted- asleep? Unconscious? You weren’t sure, but you fought like hell to focus your attention on what was happening right outside your tiny prison. Suddenly, there was a sharp creak of metal and cool light flooded the box. You squinted your eyes, desperate to see what was going on.

“Get up!” a harsh voice demanded.

Your body shook as you tried to stand, but it was no use. You were too weak and dehydrated.

“GET UP!” they shouted angrily, as if that would provide the strength needed to undo the last several hours of torture.

Instead, your body gave up completely and you slumped inside the box. The next thing you registered was the sensation of a cool breeze on your face and the tops of your feet scraping along concrete as they dragged you by your arms back to your cell.

ONE WEEK EARLIER

“The fuck you mean it’s abandoned?” you whispered.

“I mean, I’m not picking up any heat signatures inside the building,” Sam clarified, adjusting Redwing’s controls just to be sure.

Bucky lowered his chin, smiling to himself. He knew you were always looking forward to a fight.

“All right, until we clear it, we’re going to proceed with caution,” Steve began, “Y/N and Bucky, you’re going to enter the south side of the building. Sam and I will cover the north entrance. Position Redwing on the east to detect movement from the access road. Once it’s clear, we set the charges and evacuate.”

You stole a sideways glance at Bucky and tried to hide your excited smile. You loved working with Bucky; you consider him to be your best friend. You felt like there might even be more there too. But you never pushed him. If being friends was all he wanted, then you would be happy with that.  Bucky was mostly quiet and reserved, but sometimes he would open up to you, tell you about his life before the war. Sometimes, but very rarely, he would reveal the horrors HYDRA inflicted upon him. You couldn’t respond; only listen in sickened contempt. Your hatred for them became personal because of what they put him through, but you also began to piece together how they operate, their torture methods, and their twisted thought processes. You filed away this information little by little, to use against them and one day, take them down. It became your personal mission, why you were so eager to take on HYDRA related missions, and so disappointed when they turned out to be flops.

Your thoughts were interrupted by an elbow gently nudging your arm. “You ready?” Bucky said as your eyes met his.

“I was born ready,” you replied, smugly.

Bucky smiled at your enthusiasm, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was tired of fighting, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to watch HYDRA burn to the ground. Having you fight beside him, though, was a double-edged sword. He enjoyed your company more than he let on, but he also worried for your safety.  He always asked Steve to pair you two together as much as possible on missions (so he could keep an eye on you), and he always received a knowing look in return. You were one of the best fighters Bucky had ever seen, but you could also be impulsive. Most of the time, you managed to compensate for this flaw and come out on top in the fight, but there have been quite a few close calls. Too close for Bucky’s comfort, even if you insisted you had everything under control.

“After you then,” Bucky said, gesturing to the south entrance.

“Such a gentleman,” you flirted, even though your tone was a bit condescending. You didn’t miss the fact that Bucky liked to keep an eye on you. It was obvious, the way he stuck by your side for every mission. It was sweet, but completely unnecessary.

Entering the building was uneventful. As you looked around, you took note of all the dust and debris, the result of what must have been years of no use. Maybe Sam was right, it must be abandoned. What a waste of time. You continued your sweep, clearing each derelict room.

“Second and third floors are clear,” Sam’s voice sounded in your comm.

“Well, aren’t you an over-achiever?” you responded mockingly.

“Y/N, Buck. What’s your status?” Steve asked, attempting to maintain professionalism on the mission. Captain Steve didn’t know how to have fun. Killjoy.

“First floor is clear, heading to the basement now,” Bucky reported, shooting you a ‘behave yourself’ look. You stuck your tongue out at him and ran for the stairwell.

“Y/N, wait!”

“Come on! There’s nothing here. Let’s clear this moldy-ass basement so we can blow it up and get home. I’m starving!” you announced.

Bucky caught up with you and roughly grabbed your elbow to pull you back.

“We need to be careful. This is HYDRA we’re dealing with. You need to take this seriously.”

You ripped your arm from his grasp, offended he would be so rough with you. “This isn’t HYDRA. This isn’t anything. There’s literally nothing here.”

Bucky schooled his expression. He didn’t want to be angry with you, but your recklessness could put everyone in danger. He let out a frustrated sigh, putting his hands on your shoulders and lowering his head to look into your eyes.

“Will you please be more careful? For me?”

You were momentarily stunned by the soft cadence of his voice. But quickly regathered your thoughts.

“Bucky, I am being careful. You need to lighten up.” You shrugged out of his grasp and turned back to the stairwell.

What is with everyone today? The super-soldiers are being super-serious. Even Sam seems like a stick in the mud, definitely not his usual, talkative self. Did you do something to offend them? You thought about the events of the last few days and couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary. Definitely nothing that would explain what everyone’s problem is.

You glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky a few paces behind you as you descended the last of the stairs and reached the basement.

“Well, I didn’t think it was possible, but this looks even more abandoned than the first floor,” you said giving Bucky a pointed look.

“Just keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.” Bucky gently brushed past you to take the lead, advancing down the corridor. He had an uneasy feeling he just couldn’t shake.

“Suspicious?” you remarked sarcastically. “This whole mission is suspicious. What are we fighting here? The cobwebs? The ridiculous amount of dust?” You pushed past Bucky to take the lead again, but when you glanced back, you realized he had stopped. He was looking at you with wide eyes; his expression, one you didn’t recognize.  

“What? What is it?” you asked, concern growing in the pit of your stomach.

“You’re right. Nothing about this is right. There’s too much dust. Our source indicated there was activity here less than a year ago. It shouldn’t look like this.”

You looked around nervously. “Maybe the source was wrong.”

“Not likely…”

Unexpected static in the comms made you jump. You could hear Steve’s voice, but it kept breaking up and you couldn’t understand what he was saying until you made something out very clearly that made your blood run cold.

Pull back……’s a trap…--t out…ABORT!

Your eyes locked with Bucky’s. You froze. He was standing about 10 feet from you when you both registered a rapid clicking noise, like a sped-up clock.

“RUN!!” You heard him yell just before the explosion.

The wall behind you erupted, sending you several yards through the air until you collided with the ground. You could feel the heat and unbearable pressure on your back as you lay prone in the ruins. Dust swirled around you. After several moments of trying to remember how to breathe again and process what the hell had just happened, you remembered that Bucky was with you. You glanced over in his direction, but all you could see was a literal wall of rubble, fire, and smoke. You struggled to focus your eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that were forming. Damn, that hurt.

Distantly, you could hear someone calling your name.

“Buck--,” your voice was cut off by a coughing fit as the dust invaded your lungs. “Bucky…” you tried again.

“Y/N?” he sounded closer. You could hear movement, crumbling concrete. “Are you hurt?”

It was at this point, you realized you should probably take a moment to figure out the damage.

“Y/N??” his voice sounded more concerned, more urgent. You weren’t sure how long you had taken to respond.

“Uhh…I….I think I’m okay……I can’t move. I think…ahh…there’s something on my back,” you choked out.

“You’re gonna be okay. We’re coming to get you. Just..hang on, okay? Hang on.”

Hearing this made you relax. Getting blown up was exhausting. You were certain you were going to hear about this later. About how you should have listened to Bucky, been more careful, taken the mission more seriously. You closed your eyes, trying to reserve your strength. You would need it to climb out of this burning hole in the ground.

After a few minutes, you felt the pressure on your back lessen. That was fast. You opened your eyes and tried to focus on Bucky’s face, but then you heard his voice from behind the burning wall of concrete. Confused, you concentrated your attention on the blurry figure standing before you. HYDRA. You gathered all your strength, trying to fight, but you couldn’t get a single hit in before a blow to your face rendered you unconscious.

Bucky heard footsteps and scraping rocks on the other side of the barrier. He had finally managed to make a dent in the rubble just large enough to see through. To see you being dragged away by HYDRA.

“NOOOO!” Bucky frantically slammed his metal fist into the rubble, trying to break through, but it was no use. He couldn’t get to you in time. He watched as you disappeared into the dust and smoke.

You were freezing. Another week had passed, maybe two. You weren’t sure. It was the same thing. Over and over.  Freezing to the point you couldn’t move or think. Then they would throw you in the box again until you passed out from the heat. You didn’t even know what they wanted. They didn’t ask you anything, barely said three words to you. Wouldn’t answer any of your questions. How the hell did they expect to get information out of you if they didn’t fucking ask you anything? Idiots. You’d be glad to give them as much false information as you could muster.

You were frustrated. Frustrated with this pointless torture and frustrated that no one had broken you out of this shithole yet. What was taking so long?

The next day was new. This time a man in a lab coat came into your cell. Based on the history of everything you have come to know about HYDRA, the lab coat is not a good sign.  He peered down at you where you sat against the cold, concrete wall.

“She’s ready,” he practically drooled with excitement. Disgusting.

Two oversized goons entered your cell and brought you to your feet as another ganglier looking goon wheeled in a stretcher. Your stomach dropped. Not good. This is not good. You tried not to let anxiety and fear get the best of you. You’ve endured the heat, the cold, the physical pain and the repulsive goop they fed you, but this was new, and you had no idea what they had planned.

“No. No no no. What are you doing?” You kicked and fought weakly as they strapped you down. You were unable to move.

Lab coat leaned in close to your face. You could smell the wicked stench rolling out of his mouth.

He simply answered, “Phase two.”

……..

“What do you want? You’ve been torturing me for weeks and haven’t asked me a damn thing! Do you even know how this works? No? Must have missed that day in torture 101.”

The lab coat stopped what he was doing and turned to face you. Amusement and almost pity plastered on his face.

“My dear. I haven’t been torturing you. I’ve been preparing you.”

…………

The first injection must have been a sedative and, for that, you were thankful. Your vision became blurry and all your muscles relaxed at once. You could’ve almost fallen asleep. Until the second injection. At first, it was cold, like ice running through your veins. Starting in your arm and flowing through your chest before settling in the rest of your limbs. It was enough to make you shiver and shake uncontrollably. With the last injection came the unbearable heat. It spread through you like wildfire, burning through the sedative and blistering your nerves. It coursed through your body, the agonizing flames filling your skull, threatening to split it open. It was too much. Unbearable. You thrashed your arms and legs beneath the restraints, screaming until you went hoarse. Nothing you did relieved the pain, the burning.  You were left alone in your misery, knowing nothing but the searing pain in your head, threatening to end your life. You hoped it would.

Then, it stopped. You thought maybe death had finally taken you and you felt sadness, for Bucky. For the team. But you were back in your cell. This couldn’t be death. Death isn’t this cruel.

You rolled on your side and slowly sat upright, fighting off the dizziness. You felt horrible, like you should be dead, but at least the pain had subsided. You experimentally staggered to the door of your cell and peered through the slot. It was eerily silent. Still, you waited to see if anyone approached. They almost always did when you awoke to send you for another round of torture…or wait. What did he say? They were preparing you..for what? The injections, ice and fire, the pain, all came flooding back to you. What did they do? Your breaths came faster. You had to get out of there. Fear and panic were in control now. You pushed and pulled at the door feverishly, and to your surprise, the door opened. Worried this was another trap, you stepped back, but no one came. What the fuck?

You left your cell and made your way down the hallway, searching for the exit or at the very least, a weapon. The building was completely cleaned out. They left you there, their experiment. Did they think you were dead? Or just a failure? You didn’t feel any different. Those HYDRA morons must have been bigger fucking idiots than you gave them credit for. Still, you weren’t going to stick around. When you finally made it out of the building, you realized you actually recognized the area. You weren’t that far from the compound. It made you sick to think you were only 10 or so miles from home this whole time, and still, they couldn’t find you. HYDRA could have practically walked up and rang the front doorbell, and the team would have had no idea.

It was cold outside and you were dressed only in a thin gown. You walked for hours, determined to make it home. You had no way of contacting anyone. You were surrounded by a few trees and fields of nothing. The final yards leading up to the compound were grueling. You were exhausted. Your feet bled and your legs shook with the effort.

It was early evening, you guessed, when you painfully stumbled into the common room, where Steve, Bucky and Sam all sat, attention focused on various maps and blueprints laid out before them. Steve saw you first, eyes staring and mouth hanging open. It would have been humorous had you not just been through hell and back. Bucky stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Steve’s expression and turned his head to see what Steve was staring at.

“Y/N??” Bucky couldn’t believe it. His eyes ran over your battered form, watching your whole body shake with fatigue.

You didn’t know what to say. You tried to choke back the tears that were now streaming down your face.

But this was all you could handle. You were suddenly dizzy, the room had started to spin and you dropped to your knees as Bucky ran towards you.

“Oh God! Call Dr. Cho!” Bucky ordered, but Sam was already on it.

You collapsed into Bucky’s arms and saw Steve running toward you. Bucky’s alarmed face was the last thing you saw before your eyes involuntarily closed.

When you awoke the next day, you were alone in the med bay. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to force out the lingering headache. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and were about to remove your IV when Bucky walked into your room.

“Hey, you’re awake,” he said as he approached you cautiously. “How are you feeling?”

“Um..really..hungover,” you cracked a smile trying to break the tension. “How long was I out?”

Bucky looked at his watch before responding, “About 23 hours.”

“Oh shit. New record.”

Bucky looked nervous. “We looked everywhere..”

“Not everywhere,” you retorted, sounding more bitter than you intended.

“I didn’t think I was going to see you again.”

“Well…that makes two of us.” Your eyes stayed trained on the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You spent weeks dreaming about seeing him again, and now you couldn’t even look at him. Why? Were you that angry that they couldn’t find you? They were obviously looking.

Bucky sensed that maybe this wasn’t the best time to broach the subject, so he changed it.

“So..uh…they want to do a debriefing on what happened as soon as you’re feeling well enough.”

You faltered. You didn’t want to talk about it, relive it. Especially so soon. But you’d rather get it over with so you can move on with your life. Put the whole ordeal behind you.

You looked down at the IV in your arm before ripping it out, the blood beginning to trickle down to your palm.

“Doll—what are you doing?” Bucky lunged toward you, grabbing gauze off the bedside table to apply pressure to the site.

You grabbed the gauze and took over applying pressure.

“I’m about to change my clothes,” you began glancing around the room before finding some in a bag below the bed, “so unless you want to see me naked, you can turn around.”

Bucky paused, mouth opening slightly before regaining his composure and turning to face away from you. You caught him off guard, which is honestly, something you’ve never seen happen.

You were a little disappointed. Maybe you’d been reading him wrong, and he doesn’t see you that way. Or maybe he’s just being a gentleman. This isn’t exactly the best time to explore your feelings for one another. Still, it stung.

………………………..

You sat at the table, nervously glancing at all the faces in the room. Fury, Tony, Steve, and Sam all had their eyes on you. Everyone except Bucky. He stood in the corner, holding his gaze to the floor.  He looked more nervous than you felt. Weird.

They asked their usual questions, and you answered as best you could. But you didn’t feel comfortable enough to go into extensive detail. You trusted these men with your life, but it was starting to feel less like a debriefing and more like an interrogation.

“…and you’re sure that’s all you remember?” Fury asked again.

You looked around the room again, each set of eyes seeming frustrated. Expecting more information than what you’ve provided for the last 2 hours. This was exhausting. A familiar headache was building behind your eyes, and you were beyond done with this.

When you didn’t answer right away, Tony asked another question. “They just let you walk away?” You could hear the blatant skepticism.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Tears were starting to fill your eyes. Damnit! This is not how you thought this would go, but you were feeling pressured, overwhelmed. “They tortured me! For weeks! The same damn thing. Over and over and over again! And I don’t know---maybe they thought I was DEAD!” You choked on a sob; tears streaming down your face now.

“Okay! That’s enough!” Bucky interjected, seemingly ending the questioning.

You quickly stood from your seat and rushed out of the room.

They all exchanged glances and Bucky lingered there silently for a moment before following you.

When he reached your room in the compound, he knocked, but you didn’t answer.

“Doll. It’s me. Can I come in?”

Again, you didn’t answer. He could hear your quiet cries. He tried the handle, but you had locked the door.

“Can you unlock the door, please?”

“Go away, Bucky,” you said, softly. You didn’t need to yell. You knew he could hear you.

“Come on. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” With that, he could hear you moving towards the door.

You angrily flung the door open, surprising Bucky and forcing him to take a step back. Your hair was disheveled, eyes red and still wet with tears.

“Do I look fucking okay to you!?!?” Bucky looked into your eyes, not knowing what to say.

“HYDRA imprisoned me, practically in our own fucking backyard and still no one came for me!”

“Y/N, I swear to you, we never stopped looking—”

“And as soon as I fight my way back here, you all grill me for information, like it was my fucking idea to get captured?”

“Doll, no one thinks this was—”

“I waited for—aagh—” the pain in your head suddenly flared. You squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the skin between them. Your discomfort was evident.

“Hey, hey. What is it? What’s wrong?” Bucky’s worried eyes searched your face for answers.

You tried to recover, to push the pain aside.

“I waited for you—AAGH” the pain peaked. The same blistering heat threatening to end you, keeled you over.

With your shaking hands on your knees, you could feel Bucky move to your side. His arms wrapped around your waist to support you.

“Doll, what’s going on? Answer me. Please!”

But you couldn’t answer him. You were back on that stretcher. A prisoner, again. All you knew was the burning pain. Maybe this time, it would spare you the torment and claim your life.

“SOMEBODY HELP! I NEED HELP!” Bucky’s voice sounded far away.

The fire swirled in your skull and bile burned the back of your throat. You lurched forward, fell to your knees, and vomited on the floor. Everything was suddenly black, then nothing.

You awoke once more, alone, in the med bay.  Well, not completely alone. You could hear talking, whispers. Just outside your door.

There’s something she’s not telling me. But I’m not going to try to force answers out of her. She’ll come to me when she’s ready. I’m just going to be her friend. That’s what she really needs right now.

Just a friend? You felt the blanket of disappointment weigh on you again. You were pulled from your thoughts when Bucky opened the door.

You kept your eyes on him as he carefully entered the room.

“Who were you talking to?”

“Huh?”

“Who were you talking to just now?” You tried not to sound like you were accusing him, but you didn’t like being talked about behind your back.

“I wasn’t talking to anyone,” Bucky shook his head, seeming to be genuinely confused.

Great. Now Bucky was lying to you. Some friend he’s trying to be. Even with him literally by your side, you were suddenly feeling very alone. No one trusted you. They think you’re hiding something. Truth be told, you are hiding something. You never told them about the injections, how the torture was actually “preparations”. You even left out the creepy lab guy coat because you were afraid. Afraid if they found out what really happened, that you were an experiment, they wouldn’t look at you the same way. You were afraid you would lose their hard-earned respect, your place on the team. You couldn’t risk it.

“So what happened?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“The pain? Passing out?” Bucky pressed, becoming serious. This felt like an interrogation again.

“Oh…it was just a headache,” you offered. Were you honestly expecting them not to ask?

“That’s bullshit. What happened to you? What did they do?” He seemed desperate and angry and you were becoming more and more guarded.

“I thought you weren’t going to force answers out of me.” You threw his words back in his face.

“What?”

“Nothing”

“What did you say just now?”

You were out of patience and just wanted to be alone. “Nothing. Please leave.”

Bucky stared at you, disbelieving, before turning his back on you and walking out the door.

A single tear slipped down your cheek. What the hell happened? Everything was fine. You were on a mission, business as usual, and then you were captured and tortured. You miraculously make it back home and suddenly, everyone is against you? You didn’t do anything wrong. Why is everyone acting like you’re at fault?  Your thoughts are becoming louder in your head, circling frantically and building tension. You clench your teeth, trying to hold in a scream, but you can feel an energy building inside you. You pull your knees to your chest, struggling to contain it. Your clenched fists pound at your temples. You don’t know what’s happening; you feel out of control, about to spill over. Explode.

Suddenly, you lose control, letting out an ear-piercing scream, releasing a force you had never felt before. All at once, glass bottles and cabinets shatter, the reinforced windows in your room crack. Furniture is thrown chaotically. Everything is broken, in a frightening disarray, and you’re left sitting in the ruins of what once felt like a safe place.

You tried to catch your breath, eyes darting around the room, attempting to make sense of what just happened.

Oh, God. Oh, God.  What did HYDRA do to you? What have you done? You needed to get out of there. Now. You jump to your feet, grab your clothes, and run. You shove past S.H.I.E.L.D. employees in the hallways, their thoughts intruding and overlapping with your own.  It took you a moment to realize what it was, what you were doing: unintentionally hearing their thoughts. You have to get away, get out. It’s too loud. You’re still running when you hear more familiar voices, but these aren’t in your head.

You can hear Bucky, Steve and Sam talking about what they found at the base where you were kept. Empty syringes. Medical equipment. Partially encrypted files describing some kind of experiment. They know—how could they not? Have they known this whole time?

“I don’t know what they did to her. She won’t tell me, but…she’s different.” Bucky spoke quietly.

Different? Is that how he saw you now? Is that why he’d been acting so strangely since you got back?

“Look man,” Sam reasoned, “she’s been through a lot. It would be weird if she wasn’t acting differently.”

“Still, if they did do whatever this experiment is on her, we don’t know what the outcome is…If she’s still herself, or even on our side,” Steve added.

Your heart dropped. You already felt like they didn’t trust you, which was bad enough, but now they’re against you? You waited for Bucky to defend you. He knows you better than anyone, but his silence spoke volumes. You thought Bucky, of all people, would understand what you’d been through. That you would never turn on them. You really were all alone in this. You felt the fear and uncertainty pouring out of the room.

Then, an unfamiliar voice on the intercom startled you.

Code Gray- Med Room 4. Code Gray- Med Room 4.

Shit. That was your room. Then the alarm started blaring and you ran. When did you become the enemy? How did this happen? You’re not part of HYDRA. You’re the victim. You managed to get out of the compound without anyone else seeing you. But you had no idea where to go from there.

Bucky, Steve, and Sam rushed to your med room. They stood there in disbelief, taking in the scene. It looks like a bomb went off.

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked.

“We’re not sure, sir. We, uh, heard a scream and when we got here, the room was empty,” a nurse answered.

“Where is she?” Bucky asked, growing impatient.

“We don’t know, I’m sorry,” the nurse responded before quicky leaving the room.

Steve and Sam exchanged looks. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair.

“Buck….”

“No.”

“We need to consider all the facts, here.”

“No, Steve! She wouldn’t do this. She’s not HYDRA.”

“Dude, she was missing for weeks and then just waltzed through the front door? That doesn’t seem odd to you?” Sam added.

“She didn’t waltz, Sam. She could barely walk, then she collapsed,” Bucky defended.

“So you think they just let her go? When the hell has HYDRA ever just let anybody go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Her story isn’t adding up, Buck.”

“They did something to her, she’s different. I just don’t know why she’d hiding it.”

“What do you mean? What aren’t you telling us?” Steve questioned.

“I think….whatever they did to her, worked. I thought it was a coincidence, at first, but then…this,” he motioned around the room. “I think she could hear what I was thinking earlier, and I think this is part of whatever she’s going through. I think she’s enhanced.”

They all looked around the room, letting Bucky’s theory sink it.

Steve broke the silence. “We need to find her before she hurts someone.”

You were walking against the cold wind and found yourself back at the shithole. You weren’t sure what you were doing there. Looking for answers, maybe? Waiting for them to find you? Like they were supposed to do. Before the injections, before they turned on you, before you lost control. What did they think of you now? You’re certain they must think you’re HYDRA. Fear and despair surged through you, and you started to lose control again. Objects that surrounded you started to rattle and lift into the air, crashing into walls.

You saw movement from the corner of your eye, emotions flaring even further. They had found you. Tears streamed down your cheeks, wetting the front of your sweatshirt.  You had already lost everything. They may as well take you now and put you in whatever floating prison they have. They marked you as guilty the moment you walked back into the compound.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Bucky approached you slowly, motioning to Steve and Sam to hang back.

You slowly turned to face him. Finally seeing his face broke you, and you started to cry harder. The cot beside you rattled along with desks and shelves, lifting off the floor, quaking violently, erratically. Bucky held up his hands, gesturing to you that he meant you no harm. And you wanted nothing more than to believe him, to melt into his arms.

As your emotions ran wild with fear and anguish, the chaos around you swelled. You shook your head trying to empty it of the intrusive whispers. You were ready to surrender. You just wanted all this to be over, but when you looked past Bucky to see Steve and Sam in their full Avenger gear, a realization hit you. They were here to fight you. Bucky noticed the change in your demeanor. You felt the energy inside you intensifying again. The building began to tremble.

“Y/N. Y/N! Look at me! You’re going to be okay. We’re here to take you home.” Bucky tried to reason.

“No. NO! You’re here to hurt me. You don’t trust me, think I’m HYDRA!”

“That’s not true. We’re your friends. We want to help you,” Bucky insisted.

“Help me? That’s why you brought Captain America and Falcon with you?!”

You were angry now. If they wanted to take you, it would have to be by force. That’s what they wanted. You looked back over at Bucky and noticed the light reflecting off the tears that gathered in his eyes. You felt like you were about to detonate.

“Sweetheart, please,” Bucky pleaded with you; His hand stretched out towards you, beckoning you to take it.

The building shook even more violently with the release of your emotions. Once again, objects cracked and shattered all around you, but this time, the entire building threatened to come down on top of all of you.

“I can’t. I can’t control it….” You looked to Bucky, desperate for all this to end.

As dust and debris rained from the ceiling, you heard the order.

TAKE HER! NOW!

You whipped your head to the side, catching sight of Redwing; you hadn’t noticed it there before, but it was too late. Two darts struck your neck, delivering a powerful sedative. You swayed on your feet for only a moment before going down hard. All the objects flying around the room, uncontrollably, crashed to the ground at once. The building stood still once again. Whatever they hit you with was strong. You couldn’t move, but yet, you weren’t completely unconscious.  You could faintly hear distorted commotion around you and your eyes felt heavy.

“Jesus Christ, Steve!” Bucky kneeled at your side to brush your hair from your face, wiping your tears in the process.

“I’m sorry, Buck. We had to. You heard her. She couldn’t control it.”

Bucky gently picked you up and held you close to his chest. You could tell he was walking, but your vision was starting to blur even more. Then you felt his breath on your ear as he whispered that you would be okay. You were safe now. They were going to fix this. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to sink into the darkness.

THREE WEEKS LATER

“I don’t want to be a prisoner anymore, Bucky.”

“You’re not a prisoner.”

“Well, I can’t leave. That is the definition of prisoner, right?”

“Bruce thinks he’s close to a cure. He just needs a little more time.”

“You’ve been saying that for 3 weeks.”

Bucky offered you a half-hearted smile, but it was tainted with regret.

You were beginning to doubt their ability to fix you. Where would they even begin? You were just the result of another fucked-up half-assed HYDRA experiment.  They couldn’t cure you any more than they could cure Bucky or Steve of being super-soldiers. You know it. They know it. You just wish they’d stop blowing smoke up your ass.

Just then, Bruce appeared behind the reinforced glass doors, pressing his palm to the scanner to gain access to your room.

He approached your bed with the same half-hearted smile Bucky imparted.

“Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling today?” Bruce began, like he always did when starting his examinations.

“Fine. Normal. How’s the cure coming along?”

He hesitated for a moment, ignoring your question before continuing with his own.

“Any more headaches?”

“No. Not really.”

“Good, good. That’s good.” More hesitation.

“Just spit it out, Bruce.”

“Well, uh..” he fiddled with his clipboard, pretending to review his findings. “We did some genetic profiling and it looks like the experiment has altered your DNA in ways we’ve never seen before. Your brain scans are phenomenal.”

“That’s not exactly comforting….” You knew where this was going, even though you didn’t completely understand the science of it all.

“What does that mean?” Bucky leaned forward in his seat, prompting Dr. Banner to elaborate.

“Well, I’m afraid it means we can’t cure you.”

Bucky leaned back in his chair; the atmosphere in the room deflated. He didn’t even look at you. You knew this was coming but hearing it out loud and seeing Bucky’s dejected reaction only solidified your fears. There is no hope.

Dr. Banner continued, “The good news is that you seem to be adapting and stabilizing well.”

“Yeah, yeah…” You didn’t want to hear anything else. You weren’t even listening. All you can think about is how you’re no longer an Avenger and how Bucky won’t even look at you now. You lost him; your best friend, maybe more. Where do you go from here?

“I just have a few more questions for you,” Dr. Banner began again, “Are you still able to hear the thoughts of others?”

“Yes. But I can mostly block it out. It’s gotten easier.”

Dr. Banner smiled. “And there haven’t been any more incidents….” He held up his pen. “Can you move this towards you, please?”

You looked up from your lap and focused on the pen, gently floating it above the bed until it reached your grasp.

“Amazing…”

You wished Dr. Banner would be a little less enthusiastic. Your life, as you know it, is over and you’re not in the mood for this.

“Okay. I’m releasing you from my care.”

“Wait. What? When?” You stared at him in awe. Is he joking?

“Right now.” He gathered his notes and left the room, door unlocked.

You felt Bucky grasp your hand. His smile was bright as he waited for your thoughts to catch up.

“Come on. We have a mission,” he coaxed.

“I-I don’t understand,” you hesitated. “I didn’t think you wanted---I didn’t think anyone trusted me.”

“Sweetheart, we do trust you…and I’ll always want you. No matter what.” He squeezed your hand a little tighter. “We found the shitbags that took you…you ready to kick some ass?”

Your eyes lit up with excitement and determination. “I was born ready.”

#whump #avengers #bucky barnes #reader whump #bucky x y/n #female reader #reader insert #avenger reader #steve rogers #sam wilson #captain america #winter soldier #marvel mcu #bucky barnes x reader #kidnapping tw #experimentation #falcon

[buckyownsmylife]

something to die for - sam wilson smut

The one where you’re his professor

Warnings:  professor/student relationship, smut, age gap

WC: 1.3k

A/N: Special thanks to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for looking this over for me! I love you very much!

I could feel his eyes on me from the second I entered the familiar classroom. Everyone was looking at me, of course, but no one’s gaze electrified me quite as much as his.

That should have been the first sign - the only sign I needed to keep myself away from him. And still, I stubbornly resisted, pretending it wasn’t a big deal.

If I acknowledged how attracted I was to him, it would make this all the more real.

“Okay, class.” I clapped my hands together to gather everyone’s attention, turning around to face the blackboard. “Today, we’ll be talking about…”

It was easy to ignore his magnetism while I was teaching. I loved what I did, I loved sharing my knowledge and watching the spark of understanding shine in my student’s eyes.

It’s just that every time my gaze swiped over one specific student, I seemed to get hypnotized. The class went by in a whirl, and even through my conversation with the last few remaining students, eager to get a word in with me, I could still feel his gaze, heavy on me.

I knew it was only a matter of time until I heard the familiar knock against the door to my private office.

“Can I come in?” I drew a sharp breath, letting go of the files I was trying to sort in an effort to distract myself - like I hadn’t been waiting for this precise thing to happen.

He didn’t wait for my answer. The second I turned around to meet his eyes, his arms were already wrapped around me, head dipping to capture my lips in his in the sort of kiss I’d never seen outside of television.

“Mr. Wilson…” I tried to pull away. I really did. Even though my body ached for him, even though I absolutely, 100% wanted this…

I tried to do what was right. But his kisses were already trailing down my jaw, making breathing a particularly difficult activity as the scent of his cologne made my head swirl.

“We can’t do this…” My objections were lost to the room as he just kept on going, hands pulling up my skirt to squeeze my thighs as my chest heaved.

I was fighting my attraction to him because I had to, but the truth was, I didn’t want to. It’d been years since I felt this desired, especially by someone his age.

Of course, there were the lingering looks and flirty comments, but no student had ever wanted me badly enough to just take me. And now that he had gotten his hands on me, I wasn’t sure I could find it in me to stop him from doing whatever the hell he wanted with my body.

“You’re so fucking sexy…” he groaned, hands exploring every inch of skin he exposed. “This goddamn outfit…” I hadn’t even thought twice about the tight skirt when I pulled it out of my wardrobe to wear it this morning, but I knew it was going to become my favorite piece of clothing after today. “I couldn’t stop thinking about ripping it from your body. You’re so fucking distracting.”

His mouth was everywhere, lips warm as he groaned against my throat once his fingers bypassed the barrier of my panties and found my cunt.

“God, you’re so wet.” He wasn’t wrong. I knew I’d been dripping since he first laid his eyes on me. It was as if he had a superpower and I was but prey to his dark desires. I knew I should be the one in control - I was older, I was his professor - but now that he had his fingers inside of me, I was completely under his dominance, and I loved every second of it.

“Does this feel good?” He panted against my cheek, and I wanted to roll my eyes like some sort of teenager because the question felt so damn stupid.

Couldn’t he tell that it did?

I was biting down on my lower lip so hard to stop my moans from pouring out that I was sure it was about to split. My wetness was dripping from my cunt, aiding his incessant exploration, the sound of which reverberated on the walls around us.

I was about to cum and he had barely even started.

“Tell me you like this,” he insisted right as I slapped a hand to my mouth to stop my sounds from escaping, even though I wanted to scream out his name. “C’mon, Professor.”

The title - the reminder of the forbidden nature of this moment we were sharing, had shivers running down my spine, my nails undoubtedly breaking skin as they ran down his arms.

“So good…” I barely recognized my voice, so hoarse and wanton as I answered his plea without even acknowledging it. His answering grin, so boyishly proud, awoke me to the fact, but how could I regret it?

“Yeah…” He panted against my cheek, fingers quickening on their onslaught. “There you go… I knew you needed this.”

I could only thank his clairvoyant powers.

His kisses were making me weaker the lower they descended along the lines of my body. First trailing my jaw until it reached my neck, I didn’t expect him to follow the line of my shoulder until he reached the sleeve of my shirt.

“This won’t do.” It was all that preceded his ripping of the fabric - just enough so he could expose half of my arm and pull the offensive clothing down to show my breast.

I heard his breath hitch as the soft curve was revealed to him. I’d anticipated some sort of touch there, but not the one he surprised me with.

His head fell over my chest, teeth working on pulling the cup of my bra down, just enough to release my nipple, and that’s when he attacked. His tongue traced my nipple before he bit down on it, hard enough to leave his imprint behind.

“Oh…” In a true demonstration of the submission I was gifting him, I closed my eyes, letting my head fall back as I gave him more of me. This was so dirty, and it felt way too good to be true - I was all but certain that it was a dream. It had to be, so what hurt could it bring me if I just… let myself go and enjoyed it?

“You know how long I’ve been waiting to taste you?” He whispered against my chest, eliciting goosebumps as his warm breath hit my sweaty body. “You’ve been so stressed lately… Why don’t you just let me fuck your problems away, hm? Leave that wonderful, intelligent brain of yours completely numb, until you’re acting all silly and dumb, just for me?”

His words were my undoing. My orgasm hit me and my release dripped from his hand on the desk underneath us, but as I tried to sit up to clean his mess, he moved his fingers inside of me again, keeping me lowered with his other arm.

“Stay right there…” I squirmed in his embrace but relented and allowed myself to relax against the cold wood. “That’s a good girl…” My mouth fell open on a pant as he slowly pulled away from me, fixating that dark gaze on my exposed body. Despite the age difference - how I was older than him - he always managed to make me feel like a silly teenager again.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he whispered, lowering down to his knees as my eyes bulged out. “You know you want to be mine…” He teased, and I did. I wanted so badly that it hurt, but I couldn’t. 

We both couldn’t, and he knew that.

“But for now… knowing you’ll think about me the next time you play with this pretty pussy is everything I need.” With a kiss right over my clit, he got back up to his feet and winked. “You know how to find me.”

#my fics #sam wilson smut #sam wilson #smut #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson reader #sam wilson reader insert #sam wilson reader inserts #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson fic #sam wilson fanfic #sam wilson fan fiction

[screechcat]

Y/n looking around the common room, with all of the Avengers talking, playing board games, and watching movies.

They sigh in content, finally feeling relaxed and safe.

Sam: What are you so smiley about L/n?

Y/n hums: Just happy is all

The others glance around at each other and smile. Y/n had been pretty new. Coming from a bad background like most of them. This was the first time they said something like that.

Tony: I think this calls for an Avengers pile.

Y/n's eyes widen in horror.

Y/n: Dude, I said I was happy, not wanting death.

Thor: To late!

All of the Avengers pile onto the couch with Y/n effectively trapping them.

Y/n struggles and tries to get away.

Y/n: Guuuuuuysssss! Get offah me! This sucks!

Nat hums: Bull

The others murmur agreements.

Not too long after Y/n gives up and just lets it happen.

Y/n: ..... okay, maybe this is nice

Peter: I knew you loved us!

Y/n half asleep but still sarcastic as ever: Don't tell my teammates. It'll go to their heads.

They chuckle, and after a while, they all drift off to sleep.

It was a sight to see for Maria the next morning. The Earth's Mightest Heros and most skilled people in a giant pile on the couch happily sleeping.

#avengers x you #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #platonic avengers #platonic #marvel #marvel mcu #mcu #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fluff #sam wilson #tony stark #steve rogers #thor odison imagine #god of thunder #maria hill #reader insert #bruce banner #the incredible hulk #peter parker #spider man

[morsmordre-writes]

designated spider killer - masterlist

Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Yelena accidentally plays matchmaker, Bucky pretends he doesn't want to live out his friends to lovers dream, and you're just trying to live your life... too bad a stalker wants to be apart of it.

Warnings: vulgar language/ topics, or at least kind of

masterlist | twitter profiles

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][epilogue]

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x f!reader #social media au #slow burn #friends to lovers #reader insert #marvel #mcu #mcu fanfic #mcu fanfiction #Bucky Barnes imagine #yelena belova #sam wilson #wanda maximoff #Joaquin torres #designated spider killer

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Can We Keep Him Pleeeease?

Platonic Sam Wilson x gn!reader

The youngest super soldier brings home an unusual pet.

Warnings: swearing, Sam is basically reader’s dad

WC: 1.4k

“What the fuck is that?!” 

“A smoothie.” Y/N stood awkwardly in the middle of Sam’s living room, a squirming bundle wrapped tightly in their arms, with one hand clutching an obviously empty smoothie cup. 

“Oh ok, so just a smoothie then. I obviously wasn’t talking about the FUCKING ANIMAL YOU HAVE IN YOU HANDS?!” Sam threw his arms into the air in frustration and gestured wildly at the gray snout now poking from the hoodie Y/N had wrapped it in.

“Why are we yelling?” Bucky groaned, stumbling from his bedroom and almost running into the Captain. Y/N shoved the cold snout back into the fabric, receiving a grumble in reply. 

“Look, a bird!” They shouted quickly and pointed over his shoulder, effectively distracting the super soldier for a couple seconds, which was more than enough time for them to turn and make a mad dash to their room.

The younger avenger sighed deeply, already regretting inviting the teen hero to live with him and Bucky during their summer break from college. He winced as he heard their bedroom door slam shut, rocking the house with the force. Two super soldiers in his home, what could go wrong?

“There’s no bird.” Bucky whined sadly. 

“How have you survived this long?”

Bucky shrugged. “I spent most of my life frozen.”

——————

“Ok and here’s a temporary bed for you until I buy you a new one. Or you can sleep with me, it’s your choice. Now, is there anything else you need?” Y/N’s voice was muffled through their door but Sam could hear it clear enough if he pushed his ear against the wood at just the right angle.

He had already ruled out a bird, a frog, and a fish, but everything else was fair game. He was ever so slightly terrified that they had brought home an alligator and he couldn’t put it past them. Sam shivered at the memory of them appearing on the local news after ‘rescuing’ a crocodile from the zoo a few years back. And their defense had simply been ‘she looked lonely’.

“Food! Yes, I have some food for you already. But don’t tell Bucky I’m taking his salmon. He wanted to cook it tonight but we all know that he can’t cook to save his life so this will be a mercy for that poor fish. You stay here and I’ll be back in a second.” Sam didn’t bother stepping away from the entryway, only standing up straight with his arms crossed over his chest, his face set in a disapproving frown that only tired dads could pull off.

Y/N jumped slightly as they opened their door and was met with Captain America’s chest. “What’s gucci, Sam?” The door quickly shut behind them, blocking Sam’s view into the room.

“What animal do you have in there?”

“There is no animal in my room, what are you talking about? I think the added responsibility of being America’s greatest superhero has made you go crazy.” 

Sam could actually feel his blood pressure rising. “Y/N.”

“Why would I bring an animal home? Bucky is pretty much like three dogs worth of animal so why would I need another pet?” They were rambling now.

“Tell me what’s in your bedroom or I’ll send you to live with Bruce.” They stopped, their eyes narrowing on the slightly taller man.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” They held his gaze for another minute, silently weighing their options. To live with Bruce meant more freedom with animals, sure but they didn’t know if they could put up with his yoga and ‘breathing exercises’ for months on end. Y/N relented.

“Fine but please, give him a chance.” 

Y/N slipped back into the small bedroom designated as theirs but left the door open so Sam could follow. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for the hell he was about to walk into, and then stepped over the threshold.

The young super soldier was on their knees at the foot of their bed, carefully lifting the yet to be identified pet into their arms. They cooed at the creature, rocking slightly before turning around.

“Sam, meet Jeff the land shark. Jeff, meet Sam.” Huge black eyes stared back up at him from Y/N’s arms, observing the man before it’s large mouth broke into what Sam guessed was a grin, exposing rows of razor sharp teeth. It Jeff wiggled in their arms, pleased with the new person in its space.

Y/N smiled brightly alongside the shark-hybrid thing. “Look how cute he is!” They squealed, hugging him tightly to their chest. Jeff, quite pleased with the attention, grunted happily, his four short limbs waggling around, along with his tail, which seemed to be at least as long as his stout body.

“You’re such a perfect boy aren’t you? Yes you are. You’re my perfect boy.” Sam didn’t know what he was more disturbed by, the shark creature or the fact that this teen, who he had witnessed punch a man so hard, his body flew through five walls of solid concrete, was baby-talking said shark creature. 

Jeff’s triangular snout pressed into their pudgy cheek, nosing at their flesh affectionately. “I um- what? I have so many questions.” 

“If I answer them, will you let me keep him?”

“No.” Sam said firmly, eyes still fixed on Jeff.

“But Saaaaaaam.”

“No buts Y/N. You brought a dangerous animal into this house without my permission.”

They turned away slightly, shielding Jeff. “You brought Bucky home without my permission so I think we’re even.” Jeff propped his thick head against their shoulder so he could continue to look at Sam, his tail wagging wildly beneath him.

“That’s different, as much as I hate to say it, Bucky is a person.”

“Ha! I told you I would get you to admit it!” Came from the other side of the house.

“Shut up Bucky!” They both shouted in unison. 

“You can’t keep him.”

“Pleeeeeease.”

“No.”

“I’ll be good! I’ll wash your car! I’ll go on runs with you! I’ll even do your laundry!”

“Y/N.”

“Sam.”

“You can’t keep him.”

Y/N grumbled something under their breath, tucking their face into where Jeff’s neck would be. “What was that?” Sam raised an eyebrow at them.

“I said Tony would let me keep him.” Sighing deeply, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Tony also let you regularly jump out of planes without a parachute.”

“So I really can’t keep him?” Their voice trembled with barely contained tears, Sam’s kryptonite. They clung tightly to Jeff who was now looking at them curiously, concerned whines emanating from him. Fat tears hung to their lashes as their eyes slowly went bloodshot and their chest hiccupped.

“I can barely stand Alpine and I don’t think Jeff would like cats.” They’ll understand logic right? Sam wondered. Y/N’s eyes dropped to the floor, absolutely heartbroken.

And as if summoned, said white cat strolled into the room without a care in the world. “Brrr?” She chirped. Alpine tilted her head at her second favourite person, as if questioning why she hadn’t been picked up yet, like she usually would have when she wandered into Y/N’s room.

Jeff copied her movement as best he could while still being smothered by the teen. Her blue eyes fixed themselves on the shark. With little hesitation, she launched herself up, landing gracefully on Y/N’s opposite shoulder. Sam froze, already coming up with explanations as to why Bucky’s prized cat had been devoured by a ‘land shark’. 

But instead of the bloodbath he expected, Alpine nuzzled into his cold skin, the tip of her tail flicking happily. Jeff grinned once more and leaned his head into the cat, accepting the affection.

And when Sam looked back up at Y/N, they were smiling victoriously, all evidence of tears gone from their face. He knew he was screwed.

“Fine, you can keep the damn shark but don’t expect me to look after it. Jeff is your responsibility.”

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” They bounced around the room, both animals hanging on for dear life. Sam couldn’t help but smile at their pure joy of having a new pet. 

“Go on and get some food for him and I’ll bring you to PetSmart tomorrow for more supplies. Also, where did you even find him?"

Y/N shrugged. "Side of the road."

"I'm not even surprised. Alright, go do what you need to do, kid."

“You’re the best! C’mon Jeff, I have to introduce you to Bucky!”

And as they ran out of the room, Sam swore he had never heard a grown man scream that loudly before in his life.

“Is that a fucking shark?!”

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[moonydustx]

Love me

masterlist | requests here

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: a sudden breakup leaves you questioning what could have happened to Bucky, until you discover he just wanted to keep you safe.

Warnings: a little angst, drama, smut ( p in v, f receiving oral, dirty talk) A lot of tears, but with a happy ending. If I left something out, just let me know.

WC: ~ 3k

A/N: Just an excuse to write about make-up sex with Bucky. No beta, sorry for possible errors as English is not my first language. Also, I'm not used to writing smut, but I hope you like it.

Requests here!

"You need to leave." Bucky asked, without even looking you in the eye.

"What does that mean Buck, did something happen?" you tried to touch him, but Bucky dodged your hands. "What is happening?"

"This mission made me think of many things..." he sat in the kitchen chair, Alpine didn't take long to pass between his legs, waiting for a caress. "I wasn't made for this life, for this." he pointed to the small space between you two.

"Wait, what do you mean?" your voice was already trembling when trying to at least understand what was happening. "Are you breaking up with me? Buck, two days ago everything was perfect, what happened? Please, I need you to explain."

"I already told you, I just..." for a second he looked at your face. The thick tears that ran down your cheeks made him feel his own throat close. He would have a few more reasons to hate himself after that. "I can not do this anymore."

"Is this your best explanation?" you charged and he just shrugged.

The noise of your engagement ring hitting the kitchen table bothered him, but not as much as seeing you walk out the living room door without even looking back. For the first time in a while, it was his turn to allow tears to flood his face.

One month, thirteen days and a few hours.

Maybe it wasn't the healthiest thing in the world to count the dates of the last time you saw your ex, the fateful day he kicked your ass.

You wish you were one of those people that you get over easily, or at least pretend to be by posting happy pictures on social media, but that wouldn't be you.

Your type was more to isolate yourself and drown in your own sorrows, which was also not possible due to work. You had to put on your best social mask and move on, even if you still didn't believe a word Bucky had said.

"Chef, there's a visitor for you." Tyler, one of your employees, caught your eye.

Before he even speaks, you can feel him watching you. Everyone there knew something was wrong.

"How urgent?" you ask with zero atention.

"It's an avenger, so I assume this is the most urgent we've ever had at this restaurant."

The knife in your hand fell onto the board, a chill running through your body. If it was Bucky, Tyler would have told you, after all, your ex-boyfriend had already spent a lot of nights accompanying you to the restaurant. Could be news about him, maybe not good stuff.

"Annya, can you take over for me?" you asked, hearing a "Yes, chef!" by far.

Your mind ran through different scenarios, the vast majority without a happy ending, while you took off your tame and cap.

The weight on your shoulders disappeared when you saw Sam smiling, waiting for you at one of the tables. As soon as he got to his feet, you hugged him.

"I thought I wouldn't have the privilege of seeing the head chef."

"Consider yourself privileged then, because tonight promises." you settled into the chair across from him. Despite the smiles and the mild climate, something told you that there was something more. "So, you came to try the new meat."

"No, not today, but I'm still trying. I'm here to talk about Bucky."

"Did something happen?" your heart immediately sped up, all those fears coming back like a flood.

"It's all right with him." Sam reassured you, noticing your posture change at the time. "I have some information and to be honest I can't stand to see him suffer over it any longer."

"Suffer for what?"

"You, what else would it be?"

"Sam, he chose to leave me. It still hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it." you explained, seeing him nod. "But if there's anything I can help you."

"I'd rather tell you and then you choose what to do. On the last mission, some personal information was leaked. About the team, about Sarah, the boys, you."

"Exactly what about me?"

"About you and Bucky, they used that to try and coerce him, that's what made him choose to walk away from you." he handed you a cell phone.

On the screen, a photo of you and Bucky leaving the restaurant at night, another of the two of you running together, another of you in a coffee shop.

"Who got this? I-I... Are we in danger?" you looked around for suspects, for cameras trained on the two of you, but found only people engrossed in their own conversations. "Who made this?"

"It does not matter now."

"How does it not matter?"

"Bucky sorted it out and whoever it is, they won't be bothering you anymore." Shit. Sam doesn't need to say more for you to understand what resolve means. "I'm only telling you this because I know you still like him."

"It takes two to make a relationship, at the very least." you responded right away.

"Just think, wouldn't someone who did all this thinking about protecting you love you?" Sam asked and laughed when he saw your confused face. "Oh man, you two deserve each other."

"Should I talk to him?"

"Well, he's in town, no plans for the next mission. Maybe you should." Sam shrugged and got to his feet. "Now that I've taken this weight off of me, I'll let you work, but I'll be back and you better cook the best steak I've ever had."

"Order noted." you said goodbye to him with a quick hug. "Thanks Sam."

"Don't thank me, I'm just doing my part as the future best man." he winked, eliciting a laugh from you and then left.

The evening at the restaurant, despite being full, seemed to take forever to pass. Amidst the food, your head wandered over the images you'd seen, what Sam had said.

It was past midnight when you got home. You took a hot shower, somehow trying to calm your mind, but that wasn't enough. Before putting on your pajamas, you thought a little more. You couldn't miss that opportunity, even if it was to close that chapter of your life. You got dressed and headed towards Bucky's apartment.

Your legs made you walk from side to side, restless in front of the door, your mind bubbled with possible excuses for a visit during the night. You knocked a few times and got no response, but you couldn't just walk away.

The keys you still had danced between your trembling fingers before they even reached the lock. Upon opening the door, you can see Alpine look up curiously, immediately jumping off the couch and going to tangle at your feet.

"Hello for you too!" you bent down, feeling the soft white hairs by your hand.

The door behind you closed by itself, giving you only the trouble to lock it again. The small apartment seemed untouched since the last time you were there, you took off your three shoes, leaving them next to Bucky's boots, an old habit.

The same brown cushions as the Alpine ration in the same corner. Your photo still next to the TV. If you closed your eyes, you could remember the day that picture was taken, your nervous laughter being on a Ferris wheel and Bucky's arms around your waist.

You've heard Bucky before you've even seen him in full. The murmurs came from the side of the sofa, and as you feared to find him, he was lying on the floor, only a pillow and a sheet protecting his body from the cold floor. He was muttering something incomprehensible, even from a distance you could see the sweat gather on his face.

Trying to get closer without scaring him, you knelt beside where he was lying, Alpine climbed on the arm of the sofa, carefully following your every move.

"Buck?" you called him in a whisper, not having much effect. This time, you chose to touch his shoulder, shaking it slightly, the nickname involuntarily falling from your lips. "Babe?"

As if out of breath, Bucky sat up, catching all the apparently lost breath. It took a few seconds for his blue irises to meet yours, trying to assimilate what was happening.

"Am I still dreaming?" he muttered to himself, it was only when he felt your hand take his that he seemed to realize reality. "You are here?"

"Yes." you replied, settling into a sitting position.

For a few seconds, you chose to just watch him. The disheveled hair and beard had been undone for some time, a little longer than usual. Next to his military dog ​​tag, hung the ring you wore. Regret took over your body for leaving behind.

"Are you well?" his husky voice interrupted you from daydreaming about the two of you's recent past. Trying to push those thoughts away, you just shook your head and tried to do your best on your own, but you already knew him to know that wouldn't convince him.

"I should be asking that. Was I having a nightmare?"

"Yes... I couldn't sleep and in the little time I could, some demons decided to take the time to disturb me." just as you had, he smiled and just like him, you knew that all was not well. "What are you doing here?"

"Needed to see you." your hand that clung to him let go, busy pinching your own hand nervously. "I've been talking to Sam."

"I don't know what he told you, but I can guarantee..."

"Please let me speak." you cut him off, afraid he would ask you to go again. "I know about the threats, I know about everything and I wonder what your head must be like. But what I want you to understand is that I'm okay with it."

"You do not understand."

"You can help me with this. It may sound silly, but, I don't know, I can learn to defend myself, I can spend more time around you. I just don't accept that our story ends like this, for fear of something that still it didn't even happen. I want to try, I want to stay!" you had to pull yourself together after dumping everything on him.

It could just be your impression, or maybe just the street light streaming in through the window, but you could have sworn his eyes were teary.

His hands pulled yours to lock around the back of his neck. In a rush of courage, you crossed your legs over his, settling in his lap. His hands slid down your back, locking onto your waist.

"Say you don't want me, that you don't love me anymore and I'm gone." you whispered and he immediately denied it.

"They said your name, they talked about you, about us and I didn't know how to react." he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing as he felt your fingers tangle in his hair. "I don't think I've ever felt that… that fear. I thought it would be easier to walk away than stick around and let them hurt you. But shit, it hurt. It still hurts not to have you around."

"If you want, I can stay away, just ask, I understand. I just need you to be honest." His hands, previously tied around your waist, went up to your face, wiping away a few tears. "Now if I stay, we'll get through this together. Please..." your voice came out a lot lower than you expected. "Ask me to stay, tell me you still love me."

Your current self was waiting for an answer, yearning to hear those damn three words. Your now self didn't have a shred of regret. If at any time you dared to rethink what had been said, that was left behind when you felt his lips on yours.

His right hand tangled in your hair, deepening his lips on you, while the other kept you attached to him, squeezing your waist. His tongue drew the roof of your mouth, such a good and familiar feeling. God, how you missed that.

"I love you." Bucky's voice murmured, moving just a few millimeters from your lips. "I love you." he stole another kiss, this time even more intense. "I love you, every bit, every part." the kisses began to go down the back of your neck, reaching that part that shivered your entire body.

"Bucky, please."

"Let me love every piece of you, please doll." he asked, letting his tongue run up to the edge of your ear. "Fuck, let me show you that I haven't stopped loving you for a second."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you babe." you whispered, pressing your still covered intimacy against him.

Heat was starting to build up in your core, making it impossible to think. His lips pulled away from yours, only for in a single thrust, he'd jump to his feet and keep you locked in his arms. It didn't take long for you to feel your body against the soft fabric of the bed. Bucky took a little time to admire you, there again. The red eyes, the shy smile that was still there, even after so long.

"I missed you so much, here, in my bed, being all mine" his eyes asked permission to continue and a slight nod was enough for your pants and your blouse to find the bedroom floor.

His metallic hand ran over your shoulder, gently removing your bra, with each new piece of skin uncovered, you felt his lips deposit quick kisses, the urgency to be able to feel each piece of yours.

"Do not tease me." you asked when his lips touched your nipple. The tongue circling the protruding point, eliciting a timid groan from you.

"You are so sensitive, so good." the wet kisses descended towards your intimacy, touching with the lips the thin and humid fabric that prevented it from going exactly where you wanted.

You even tried to fight back, but even strangled, Bucky could hear you.

"Don't hold back, babe." he pulled the fabric off, tossing it along with the pile of clothes on the floor. Distracted lips, sliding down your thigh. "Let me hear you."

"It's dawn Buck, I don't want them to think... Fuck!" his tongue went straight to your clitoris, eliciting a muffled scream.

"What you saying." he pulled back a little, just to admire her intimacy. "All this for me?"

"It's how I missed you." Bucky dove into your intimacy, sucking your spot.

You could already feel your body about to boil. His tongue slowly circling your clit, while one of his fingers slowly entered your pussy, soon becoming two.

Sweet nothings came out of your lips, begging for something you didn't even recognize and it didn't take long for your vision to become blurred when you felt his tongue being replaced by the vibranium hand, the fingers cold as snow in contact with your clit were more than enough to reach your peak.

"Don't stop, please, please Bucky!"

"Give it to me honey, I know you want to come for me."

For a few seconds, amid an almost hoarse scream, your previously blurred vision disappeared for good. Your legs were shaking as you felt him settle between them. The lips still wet from your juice slid down your cheek, making you blink slowly.

"Still with me doll?"

"Yeah babe." you took his lips, tasting your own and giving him the freedom he needed to enter you.

He thrust slowly, Bucky's face hid in your neck as he moaned low, murmuring sweet nothings to you. So tight love. How I missed this pussy, made for me. You are mine, all mine.

The speed gradually increased, the headboard of the bed knocked insistently against the wall and you just hoped that the neighbors had a heavy sleep.

"Love, I can't hold it anymore." his hand went down to your clit, circling the most sensitive spot on your body. "I can sense that you can't either."

"Just like that Bucky, keep fucking like that." you begged, feeling the heat take over your body again.

"Come with me my angel. I can feel you tighten around me, give me one more, just one more."

The moans of both of you came out in unison and leaving you on the verge of an orgasm, it was only necessary to feel his hot liquid invade you to reach your own peak.

Bucky stayed in there for a few seconds, until he got out of you and turned you on top of him, hugging you tight and sticking his nose through your hair. Your scent was intoxicating, your body against his made him feel again that that cold apartment was home.

"You forgive me?" the hesitant tone of his voice caught your attention.

"Nothing to forgive" you settled on his chest. "Just promise never to leave me for that again?"

He gently pulled your face, making you look into his blue eyes. "I'll never, never leave you again, that's the easiest promise I've ever made in my life."

"I love you Buck."

"I love you more my angel." you snuggled into his chest and little by little your eyes grew heavy, his hands sliding on your back, in a comfortable silence.

The last thing she heard before falling asleep was an indignant tone in his voice.

"Wait, do you really want to learn how to fight?"

#fiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #reader insert #bucky x you #no use of y/n #sebastian stan #sam wilson

[superdanverstrio]

Can I request Steve x Sam's older sister (plus size). Steve gets back from a job, and can't wait to see you. He's been pining for you, and all he's been thinking about is telling you how he feels.

And somehow work in the line: "If anybody were to kiss me...I would want that person to be you."

Feelings

Warnings: Sharon being mean for no reason

Parings: Steve x plus size reader

You were hanging out with Sam, your brother. Most sibling hate each other but you and Sam weren't like that at all, he told you everything, and you did the same, and you obviously always trusted him. “So you're seein' anyone yet?” He asked you. You chuckled and shock your head. “Nope, still extremely single. Pretty sure that's gonna be my reality forever.” You say sighing. “What? No it's not gonna be, you'll find someone, I'm sure of it.” “I doubt it, no one likes me like that.” You say. “That's not true.” “Oh yeah, name someone.” Sam looked at you but didn't say anything. “Sam, what do you know that I don't.” You asked, needing to know. He stayed silent for a second but ended up spilling the tea. “Alright, I wasn't supposed to say anything but… Steve had a think for you for a while now, I told him several times, but he was always too scared.” You were shocked Steve Rogers the most charming man and Captain America was into you a plus size and boring girl, you couldn't believe it compared to him, you had nothing special. “You're kidding right?” “ No, it's the truth, he is.”

 

After that, you just couldn't wait for him to come back from his mission. A day before Steve came back, Sharon came back. You walked to the kitchen to go grab a snack. You walked in and saw Sharon and her friends talking, you weren't the biggest fan of Sharon, so you tried your best to walk away, but she saw you. “Hey Y/N did you hear the news me and Steve are dating.” She said, and your heart dropped, 'b-but Sam said he liked me' you thought. “Really that's great. How did you get together.” You asked, you didn't really want to know, but at the same time you did. “Well we were doing our mission you know, and he just kissed me and said he loved me.” You smiled and told her it was great even tho you did mean it and left after that.

You really thought you had a chance with him, but obviously Steve would be more interested with a girl like Sharon, blond, funny and worry a sexier body.

You were walking back to your room, trying your hardest mot to cry apart until you were alone. You didn't notice as you walked by your brother. He couldn't see your face, but you could clearly tell something was wrong. “Sis? Are you ok?” You kept walking without answering his question. He was your brother, so of course he didn't let go. “Come on, what's wrong?” “Steve doesn't like me.” “Yes he does” “No he doesn't he's with Sharon. He even kissed her.” You then left to your room, leaving your brother shocked.

When Steve came back a day later from his mission, he was greeted from everyone but Sam. He went top look for him and found him in the training room. “Hey buddy, I'm back.” Steve said but Sam continued his work-out, barely acknowledging him. He tried talking to him, but he just did seem interested at all. “Did I do something wrong, Sam?” “ I don't know, you tell me.” Sam said bluntly. “What did I do?” He asked. “You lied to me, maybe.” “I lied to you? About what?” Steve asked, genuinely clueless, “You've been talking some much about my sister, telling me you think she is beautiful and that you really like her.” Sam said getting heated. “I wasn't lying, she's amazing, funny, and beautiful. Why would you think I was lying?” “ You kissed Sharon during your mission, and now you're with her.” Sam said, Steve looked at Sam with a shocked and puzzled expression. “I never kissed Sharon and i sure as hell never told her I love her.” “Well, Yesterday, Y/N was crying because you apparently did so fix it.”

When Sam said that, Steve almost sprinted to your room to try to rectify the thing. He knocked on your door and waited a second. “Sam, I'm fine, stop checking.” He heard coming from the other side of the door, “it's me, Steve, I need to talk to you.” A few second passed and the door opened. “ Hey, glad to see you in one piece.” You smiled softly. “Oh by the way, congratulation for you and Sharon.” You said with a smile that didn't fully reach your ears. “Y/N I'm not with Sharon, who told you that?” “You're not! But Sharon told me you guys kissed, and now you were together.” You said, and Steve looked confused. “We didn't- ohh.” Steve began, but then realized. “Listen yes we kissed, but it was only because we had to, if we hadn't our cover would have been blown, so she kissed me.”

“So you didn't really want to kiss her?” You said a little hopeful. “Y/N if anybody were to kiss me… I would want that person to be you.” He said, looking you dead in the eyes. Your eyes widen, in shock. Captain America wanted to kiss you, of all people. “M-me y-you want to kiss me. But I'm like not in your league at all, I'm not pretty like you, and I'm fat.” You say, looking down. “First of all I think you are absolutely beautiful, and I don't care that you have a little more on your body, that's what makes your charm. “ He says looking at you with so much love in he's eyes, then he kissed you. You were stunned at first but ended up getting into it when you pulled away out of breath you looked at him even more in love than you were before.

#steve x reader #steve rogers #steve rodgers x reader #reader insert #marvel #fanfic #fluff #marvel x reader #sharon carter #sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #plus size reader #steve rogers x plus size reader

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Midnight Rain

“I broke his heart because he was nice. He was Sunshine, I was Midnight Rain…”

Request from ao3- "ok but imagine a grumpy/sunshine fic with sam but the reader is the grumpy one 🤷" For one of my fave readers, @/badasswithafatass I hope you enjoy! 💛

Pairing - Sam Wilson x Reader Sam Wilson Masterlist | Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist Anon's 1K Celebration

“You know, for a smart guy, you’re pretty fucking dense," Bucky mutters, taking another swig of his beer.

“Aw… you think I’m smart?” Sam sarcastically awes from the bar stool beside Bucky.

Bucky rolls his eyes, shaking his head, “Do you honestly think she had any real interest in me?”

Bucky doesn't miss the tick in Sam's jaw at the mention of you. Months had passed since the last time Sam saw you, and he wasn’t too keen on remembering that dreaded last night. Just the memory of you leaning over the bar counter, hand resting on Bucky’s chest, whispering something in Bucky's ear, was enough to make Sam's stomach twist into a knot.

Even before that night, he could tell that you were pulling away from him, but there it was, that night, the final nail in the coffin. That was the last time he’d seen or heard from you. You walked out of his life without so much as a goodbye.

Sam rolls his shoulders back, his mouth twisting in distaste, “Sure seemed like it to me.”

“See? Dense,” Bucky declares, tipping his beer in Sam's direction.

“Alright, I’ll bite. How does any of that make me dense?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Are you going to keep insulting me or are you going to actually explain?”

“Sam, she’s a spy, an assassin," Bucky explains like it should be obvious. "She knew you were standing there. She knew you were watching.”

"So maybe she wanted to make a point. It’s not like she was one for talking or communicating, maybe that was her way of letting me know how she actually felt. Trust me, I got the message loud and clear. That doesn’t make me dense."

"Sam..." Bucky takes a long breath. "We're a lot alike, me and her. And people like us, we cut and run, it's what we do. We don't wait for things to go bad, we live with the expectation that things will always go bad."

Sam tosses the rest of his whiskey back, flagging down the bartender for another one. "That's a depressing way to live."

“It keeps us alive.”

“We weren’t on a battlefield!" Sam spits through gritted teeth. "We were done with the fight, remember? We won, for Christ’s sake!”

“And where did that leave her, Sam? With a conditional pardon? People watching us 24/7?”

“With me!” Sam snaps, slamming his glass down on the bar. “It left her with me. We were good, Bucky! We were happy together. At least, I thought we were happy together. I even- I told her that after everything, that I would take her back home, meet my family, maybe settle down a little.”

"And while you're thinking about taking her home to meet your family, she's probably thinking how a family like yours is going to react to you bringing an actual assassin home."

"I... didn't think about it like that,” Sam confesses, faltering for a moment. He shakes his head. No. He refuses to accept that. It didn't excuse that he'd found you flirting with his best friend. It didn't change that you told him he meant nothing to you. “Because I don't think about her like that. And you know what? She could've talked to me, she could've told me she felt like that, Bucky, but she didn't."

"Sam, can I be honest?"

"Shoot."

"I don't think you two will ever work."

"That's a shitty thing to say to me," Sam spits.

"I don't," Bucky admits with a languid shrug. "Honest truth, I don't see it."

"You don't have to see it, I do,” Sam firmly states. “I see it working out."

Bucky claps a hand on Sam's shoulder with a tight lipped smile, "That's my point, Sam. That's the difference between you and us. You, you live for the hope of it all. She doesn't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. We're broken, haunted people, Sam. We hurt people that get too close."

"You're wrong."

"Why else-"

"Because she was bored!" Sam angrily shouts, not caring at the stares his outburst brings. "She only wanted me because I was there."

“Do you honestly believe that?”

“Yes. I do believe that,” Sam hisses. “Unlike you guys, I believe the words that come out of people’s mouth. She was bored... She was bored and I was there.”

Bucky takes a long pull from his beer, rising from his seat with a defeated sigh. He turns to Sam to offer one last piece of insight, “All I’m saying is I wouldn’t go on the run with someone for two years because I was bored. Not unless I really gave a shit about them. Not unless I loved them, like really loved them.”

"Do you mean that?" Sam asks over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I mean that."

--

3 Years Earlier - Somewhere in Scotland

“Just let me do the talking, okay?”

Sam raises up his hands, “No arguments from me.”

The doorknob rattles for a moment, opening just enough for you to stand before them. You look at them and immediately try to snap the door shut, “No.”

Nat extends out her hand to stop the door from swinging shut. “Just hear us-“

“No.”

"You don't even know why we're here," Nat argues. “It’s important. Please.”

You relent, allowing the door to fling open. Standing tall in the doorway, your eyes rake over each of them, “Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov or whatever name you’re going by now, and Sam Wilson, all in the flesh, all the most wanted fugitives on Earth. So I don’t care how important it is, my answer is no.”

Sam’s eyes comically widen, his voice taking a slightly bewildered, high pitched tone, “How did - Do you happen to know the names of all strangers that show up at your door?”

Your eyes dart over to Sam with a grimace, “Strangers that show up at my door end up dead. Consider yourself lucky.”

“I want you to know I’m choosing to take that as a compliment,” Sam quips, placing his hand over his heart. 

“Don’t worry, Sam," Natasha smirks over her shoulder. "She’s more bark than bite. And this is me calling in a favor.”

Your eyes narrow at Natasha, "Which favor?"

"Budapest."

Your mouth narrows into a thin line as you glare at her. You hated that favor.

You look back at the three of them. Even dressed in street clothes they all stuck out like sore thumbs. They’re all disheveled, clearly exhausted, and you did owe Natasha. You convince yourself that there is no good in this deed, it’s just a repayment. Even as your eyes linger back to Sam for a second too long. You tell yourself you don't care what happens to any of them. It's just paying a debt. “Fine. Just keep me out of it.”

Natasha nods, offering a small grateful smile, “Thank you.”

You turn on your heels without another word, striding down to your room. You slam your bedroom door shut, leaving the others on their own.

“It was nice meeting you,” Sam calls after you.

You don’t bother to reply.

After a few hours, the sun sets and your safe house returns back to its normal quiet state except for the soft snores of Steve Rogers in your spare bedroom. You’re certain that they’ve all gone off to get some rest. That is, everyone, except Sam Wilson.

“Have a good nap?” Sam greets you, sitting on the small couch in the middle of your living room.

Your eyes snap over to Sam, lightly scoffing, “Actually, I was avoiding you.”

Your brutal honestly doesn’t phase Sam. The corner of his mouth twitches up as he playfully tugs on the collar of his t-shirt, “I tend to have that effect on the ladies… That sounded better in my head.”

“For you and me both,” you quip.

“You know, you’re kind of a jackass.”

“I know. Thanks.” That's the only conversation you plan on having with Sam Wilson. You continue walking to the kitchen without saying anything else.

"So how long have you and Nat been friends?" Sam asks, trailing you as you walk to your kitchen, clearly not taking the hint that you don't want to talk to him.

You scoff over your shoulder, "Who said we were friends?"

"So you're not friends? Because the whole letting us hide out here, housing us, letting us eat your food, not turning us in, sorta gave me a different idea."

"We're not friends."

In truth, your relationship to Natasha was much more complex than that. At one point, you were like sisters. In the Red Room, she was all you had. Your only friend. Your confidante. And still, you could never quite live up to her, always second to her. You knew all her secrets, all the blood spilt, all the skeletons in her closet, and she knew all of yours.

The night before your graduation, you ran. As far away and as quickly as your legs could carry you.

You were never quite sure if it was irony or simply Dreykov’s own cruelty, but she was the one tasked to find you and collect you. You never stood much of a chance against the person that spent almost two decades besting you. She found you in Budapest. It would’ve taken a single shot. And still, it never came.

But you weren’t going to tell that to Sam.

"You're not friends?”

"No."

After that, your paths crossed only once in a blue moon. Once Natasha left Dreykov, she never sought you out. And you didn’t bother to either. You weren’t friends. You weren’t enemies. She was the sister that became little more than a stranger.

"Do you help all your not friends run from the law?"

"Natalia and I have an agreement of ... mutually assured destruction."

"Mutually assured destruction?" he dubiously repeats, quirking an eyebrow. "...So best friends."

In spite of your best efforts, your outwardly stoic expression gives way as a chuckle bubbles out of your mouth.

"Did anyone see that?” Sam proudly announces to the empty house. “I want it on the record that I made a Black Widow laugh!"

"Don't push it," you warn, though the hint of a smile that pulls at the corner of your mouth dampens the threatening undertone of your words.

"You've got a nice smile," Sam compliments.

You wipe the smile off your face, but there's nothing you can do to tame the slight blush creeping up your face, so you say the first thing that comes to mind, "Fuck off."

--

That's how it went between you and him. Push and pull.

Their time at your safe house in Scotland was short lived. No more than a few weeks. And even in those few short weeks, he saw it, saw the good that you desperately tried to keep hidden. Even then he knew, he knew you cared so much more than you would ever let on. Cooped up in your little cottage, he found that behind your barbed words and tough exterior, was a person that he really liked. You didn't let him see very much of it. Most of the time, it was in little slip ups, little cracks in your armor, but he saw it. He swore he did.

Sam ambles alone through the streets of New York, the pavement is still damp from the midnight rain, the noisy cityscape is the only thing keeping Sam from fixating on the endless loop of memories playing in his head.

He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t think about you anymore. He did. All the time.

He thinks about how good it used to be. How even on the run, constantly looking over your shoulder, it was good. He'd like to think you were as happy as he was.

In truth, he wasn't sure how or when it happened. You weren't very nice to him - to any of them really. You kept them at arm's length. He had to earn every glimpse of the person behind the armor. He had to earn every smile, every laugh, but he found each one was worth it. To him, you were worth it. You were worth all of it. 

And when that time came, when that safe house wasn't safe anymore, you stayed by his side, you became his home. 

--

You simply walked up to the breakfast table and announced that it wasn't safe to stay much longer. "You have to leave."

"What?"

"We've been here too long. People in town are beginning to talk."

Natasha didn't miss a beat. "How long?"

"Tonight."

Sam watches the interaction closely. You refuse to look at him. For a moment, Natasha's eyes look at you, imploring. She utters a quiet question in Russian.

You don't respond, only shaking your head once.

"I understand." She softly inhales, her shoulders slumping slightly, "Thank you."

You nod, turning on your heels and heading to your room. You didn't expect Sam to follow after you.

There's some part of you that's unsettled by how easily Sam fits into your life. You don't like how he speaks to you like you're friends. You don't like that there's a part of you that would love to know what being in Sam's life would feel like. And you most certainly don't like that Sam has no problem questioning you. Prying into your life. He won't like what he finds. He'll run the moment he sees the number of skeletons in your closet. No, you don't like that at all. 

And you definitely don't like that he feels comfortable enough to follow you back to your bedroom. He wedges himself into your doorway, leaning against the wall, "So what about you?"

You don't turn to look at him as you pack your duffle bag, "What about me?"

"Where you gonna go?"

"I have other places."

"By yourself?"

"Typically."

"Why don't you stay with us?"

You pretend like you're surprised by the offer. As though Natasha didn't offer the same thing two minutes ago. You just didn't expect Sam's kindness to extend past his need for your safe house. "What?"

He takes a step off the wall. Even turned away from him, you can practically hear the grin he wears in his words. "We could always use the help. You seem like kind of a pro at being a fugitive."

"I don't think your team would appreciate my presence."

"I would. I want you to come." Sam turns back at the doorframe. He pauses for a moment, looking back at you. "You should come with us."

--

You never told him why you ended up joining them. It was the one question he couldn't ever get a straight answer for.

He couldn't really remember how or when you ended up in his bed - or more accurately, when he ended up in your bed.

All he knew was that for two years, you were his sanctuary. Each and every night. He held you. Kissed away your fears. You allowed him to see parts of you that you buried long ago. 

It made the moment you walked away hurt even more. 

He doesn't know what the hell he's doing here. He's pacing through the streets of New York in the middle of the night. It won't bring you back. It won't change what happened. You still left him.

It was easier believing that you left him because you didn't love him. 

The other option hurts. It hurts too much. His heart almost shatters at the though of you leaving him because you didn't see it working out, because you thought you would hurt him. 

That's the worst part - he believes Bucky. He believes that no one, not even someone as prone to finding trouble as you are, would ever go on the run with someone for the hell of it. Not unless you cared. Not unless you loved him. 

He should've seen it. The panic in your eyes when he suggested going back to Louisiana. The pain when you lost Natasha, the last person you considered family. 

It eats at him. He didn't even try. Not really. Yeah, you walked away, but he could've gone after you. He could've believed in the love he knew you shared. 

He reaches for his phone, tucking into the crook of his neck as he hails a cab, and calls the one person that could possibly help him, "I need your help. Can you find someone for me?"

--

1 Year Earlier - Somewhere in Eastern Europe

“Stop watching me sleep.”

Sam kisses your bare shoulder, resting his chin on your arm, “It’s the only time you’re not frowning. Except when you’re with me, of course.”

You sleepily sigh, trying to suppress the smile that Sam so effortlessly puts on your face. You halfheartedly push him away, rolling further away from him, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Sam’s arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him, “No, come back.”

“We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, we should get the rest while we can.”

“I miss you,” Sam whines.

“I’m right here.”

“But we’re always talking about work, about the world ending, I just - I just want a minute, just me and you.”

You finally turn around to face him with a cheeky grin, “You had me to yourself all night, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

You settle against him, resting your head on his chest, “So why couldn’t you sleep?”

He smiles down at you, absentmindedly playing with your fingers, “I was thinking.”

“About?” you urge.

“What comes next. After the fight, after everything, about going home, finally seeing my family again. My sister would love you. I can't wait to introduce you."

Your smile slips from your face. "What?"

"I mean, I know we're on the run and everything, but I'm still holding onto hope," Sam confesses. "You'd love Louisiana."

A sinking feeling overtakes you. Those survival instincts you've spent your entire life cultivating bubble up. You could see Sam's family picture where he left it on the dresser. His picture perfect, shiny family.

That wasn't you. Not even in your wildest dreams could that be you. The closest thing you had to a family was the Black Widow sitting in the other room cleaning her knives. You weren't meant for domesticity. You weren't built for the happy ending that Sam deserved. The happy ending he wanted. 

Sure, he loved you now, but would he love you when his family looks at you with disdain? Would he love you when Sarah refuses to let you anywhere near his nephews? 

Or even worse, what if he did? What if he loved you through it all and you broke him in return? What if he loved you and he lost everything else because of it?

You could tell Sam. Right here and now. Tell him that you weren't built for that life. He would listen. He would hear you. Like all of your other scars and imperfections, Sam would take it in stride. You knew he would. 

But could you really do that to him? Doom him to a life tethered to someone so tainted.

He was perfect. In every conceivable way. He was Sunshine. And though you'd done unspeakable things, there would be nothing quite as vile as dragging him down to the dim, murky depths of the wasteland you called home.

He deserved more. More than you would ever be. 

--

6 Months Ago - A Bar in New York City

"You don't have to do this."

You bitterly chuckle. It was too late. You'd made up your mind. You gave yourself until the war against Thanos was won. You gave yourself that time to say your silent goodbyes, to memorize the one and only love you would ever allow yourself to have. You were selfish in that way.

Now was the time to save Sam while you still could, to finally set him free. Even if you had to break his heart to do it. You rest your hand on Bucky's chest, the furthest you could allow yourself to go without making your stomach turn. "Do what?"

Bucky's jaw ticks, "He's a good man."

"I know." It's the only time your voice reveals even an ounce of your pain. Your eyes flicker to over Bucky's shoulder. It's too late. Sam stands a few feet from you, watching you with anguish in his eyes. For good measure, you lean in closer, whispering in Bucky's ear, "But I never did well with sunshine."

"Can I talk to you outside?" Sam demands. 

You roll your eyes and snort, "If we have to."

"We do."

Sam doesn't waste a single moment. The second you step outside, he points back to the bar, "What the hell was that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you kidding me? I saw you. You were all over him. He's my friend!"

"I was just having a little fun, Sam."

"A little fun?" Sam scoffs. "Are you kidding me?"

You don't allow a single ounce of remorse to show. You don't allow him to see the regret. Your face is purposely blank, cold and uncaring. You were good at this part. You were good at hurting people. It's exactly why you have to let him go. "I don't see what the big deal is, Sam."

"You don't see what the big deal is?" Sam's voice wavers. "You were just coming onto my friend! What about us?"

"What about us?" you scoff. "I was bored, Sam, we had our fun but it's done now. We're not on the run anymore. It's not a big deal."

"Just like that, we're just done?"

"You were there, Sam," you lie through your teeth. Acid churns in your stomach, rising up through your esophagus and coating your every word. "There's nothing more to it, nothing more to us."

You'd done a lot of bad things in your life, but nothing made you feel quite as wretched as watching Sam's heart shatter before you. It was better this way. He didn't know it, but it was for the best. You couldn't ruin his life anymore. You couldn't hurt him if you walked away right now. Those were the last words you ever said to him. 

--

He did it. He couldn't believe it. He'd found you. There you were, standing out on a rooftop, out in the pouring midnight rain. He almost laughs because of course you wouldn't even realize how theatrical this whole scene was. "Do you realize how dramatic it is to be standing out in the pouring rain all by yourself? And without an umbrella?"

"I'm working, Sam."

"Shooting your next romantic comedy? Is this the breakup scene?"

You don't even turn to look at him. “You shouldn’t be here, Sam.”

Sam scoffs, “That’s all you have to say? That I shouldn’t be here?”

“Go home, Sam," you demand. "I don’t want you here.”

“You’re such a jackass, you know that?”

It pisses him off that you still refuse to even look at him. If you were going to break his heart all over again, the least you could do was look him in the eye. You speak through clenched teeth, "I know."

He storms around, planting himself in front of you, forcing you to look at him. "No, I mean that, I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, I mean that. You're such an asshole. You're one of the most difficult, abrasive, cold, and selfish people I've ever met."

You can't bring yourself to meet his gaze. You look just past him, mustering every ounce of your training to stay stone faced, "I know."

"Do you know how hard it was to find you?"

"I didn't ask you to come here," you spit at him. "I didn't want you to come looking for me. You knew that."

"And you're a liar!" Sam exclaims, a bitter laugh bubbling up from his chest. "A damned good one, too."

"I never lied to you about who or what I was."

"But you did lie, didn't you? You've lied to me before."

“Yes, I have," you softly admit. You catch yourself, reminding yourself of why you're being so harsh with Sam. You force yourself to speak with that venomous tone you know all too well, "Many times, so if you’re done insulting me, I have to go.”

"God, you're so selfish, and- and you're mean! You brood way too much. You're so fucking angsty all the time. You act like the tortured character in every shitty teen movie every made. You're inconsiderate. You don't listen. I swear, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall. And sometimes - sometimes, I want to hate you so much."

It takes everything in you to sound as unaffected as you do. You quirk an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms over your chest, "Is that why you came here? Because you're upset?"

"Upset?" Sam incredulously repeats, taking a step toward you. He's still several feet away from you, still far out of your reach, "No, I'm not upset. I was upset six months ago. Now, I'm angry. I'm pissed off - with you. I have never been so mad at another human being in my entire life."

"I didn't do anything to you. You knew who I was - who I am."

"You think that's why I'm pissed? I'm pissed because you made me like you. I'm pissed that you made me fall so hopelessly in love with you."

For the first time in six months, your eyes find his. His warm eyes, the ones that grounded you through storms of midnight rain. He'd never said he loved you before - there's no taking that back. You suck in a breath, "Sam."

"I'm pissed because I believed you when you said you were bored. But mostly, I'm pissed that I let you go, that I let you walk away without fighting for you."

You try to warn him, beg him to stop before he says something that'll make it too hard to walk away from him. "Sam."

"Because I'm in love with you."

Your voice wavers as you beg him, "Don't do this, Sam."

"I'm in love with you," Sam announces again to his audience of one. "And I know you don't think you're good for me. And I know that it won't be easy, but I am. I am in love with you. Every part of you. Especially the parts you don't like. I like that you're mean, I like that you're tougher than any other person I've ever met, I like that you're grumpy. I like that you don't see how dramatic it is to stand in the pouring rain all by yourself! I love you. I love all of you."

"Sam..." His name leaves your mouth in a whisper. It's too late. You're not strong enough to survive walking away from him. He's doomed himself.

He takes a step closer to you. "And maybe it wasn't real... but I think it was. I think you feel the same." And then another step. And yet another. Until you're face to face, close enough that you could reach out and touch him for the first time in months. The rain beats down on the two of you. The dampness on your cheeks has nothing to do with the rain. "Tell me that you don't love me and I'll leave. Tell me and I won't bother you again, I promise."

You can't. You can't bring yourself to say any of it. "Sam, it'll never work for us. You have to know that."

"We're not at war anymore." His hand skates across your cheek. "We don't have to hide. We don't have to run."

"I'm not - I'm not good, Sam." And you are, you want to say.

“No, no, you’re not good. You’re great. You’re amazing. And it’s a damn shame you haven’t stepped into the daylight long enough to see how incredible you are.”

You jerk your face away from his hand, “And what if I can’t give you what you want? What if I can’t be what you want?”

“What do you know about what I want?”

“You want a bride. You want someone to bring home to your family - that’s not me, Sam. I don’t think that’ll ever be me.”

“I want you." Sam takes your face in between both hands, begging you to see the sincerity in his eyes. "I want you in whatever way you’ll have me.”

“I’m not worth it," you softly exhale. "You have to know that I’m not worth the trouble and the heartache I’ll put you through.”

“Break my heart," Sam offers without hesitation. "Do it over and over again. Do it for the rest of our lives. It’s all yours. You’re worth it.”

“Sam…” You didn’t have any other defense. He’d broken down each and every argument you spent years cultivating. You didn’t know where to go from here.

“Do you love me?” Your lips press into a thin line, eyes squeezing shut to keep the tears welling in your eyes from falling. The rain slows to a halt. His thumb and pointer finger grip your chin, forcing you to meet his warm brown eyes. “Do you love me?”

“I love you.” You don't think you've ever said those words before. You don't think you've ever seen the daylight until you saw him. It'll take time for your eyes to adjust, but he's worth it. "I love you so much it hurts, so much that I let you go."

“You don't have to let me go anymore. We'll figure the rest out together."

Sam Wilson Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

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