#anyways I’ve been trying to make money and get jobs and wow!!! it’s stressful!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luupetitek · 2 years

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I'm still alive! Aka BIG UPDATE on my life

Hello everyone! Hello to my old and my new followers! And thank you so much for staying with me, even though I’ve disappeared quite abruptly. It’s been a looooong time since we last “saw” each other x’) I’m sorry for being so inactive through the last… how long… 2 years?? Wow... so yeah. It’s been a while x’V

And a lot of it was caused because of my work and lack of motivation to draw anything not job oriented, or be active on any social media, just hidden inside my comfort bubble with my closest friends. But as the time passed I started to grow more and more into showing up and at least giving you some update on what’s going on. Though, since there’s A LOT of things that happened through those years, I’ve decided to group it into some smaller sections, to make it more ordered and readable x’) And for those who don’t feel like reading EVERYTHING, I’ve prepared some TL;DR at the bottom too :v so don’t worry seeing this WALL of text. (Btw, this journal doesn't contain spoilers. Alerts are just announcements)

Let’s get started!

1. Job

You may remember from my last post that I’m currently working for an animation studio, creating a new Netflix cartoon - "Kajko and Kokosz”, which, to this day, is true. I’ve had some other additional jobs here and there in the meantime, but this one didn’t change, and what’s more, I’ve even got a promotion! I’m no longer working just on the backgrounds. I’m also a layout creator and an animator!!! :D And what’s even more, recently I’ve become an animation lead assistant too! You have no idea how HAPPY I am, as it was always my dream to work as an animator for some bigger production! That’s why with the future releases of new seasons, you’ll not only see illustrations done by me, but also CHARACTERS ANIMATED by me! ٩(>∀<)۶

And who knows, maybe one day, as I’ll progress more, I’ll get a chance to be a lead animator in some future productions as well! Sooo happy to finally be able to move further with my career ♥

2. My life and debt

Along with promotion, a rise came as well, which made me less stressed in the money field, as for now I’m finally able to fully support my family and not overwork myself. Although less stressed doesn’t mean completely stress free, as the problems with my parents' debts and the issues connected to it are still following us and I’m still struggling to break free from them. Not to mention the latest problems with inflation in my country, which also made my rent go up by 30%. That’s why I still feel under pressure and that also makes me unmotivated for many things, as I still need to focus on getting out of this situation rather than on making my life happy. And I can see how much the last years have changed me into a stressed, very insecure, workaholic scrooge, that’s jealous of those who can spend their money as they please, on some entertainment and not just to live and not be homeless. Who feels like time not spent on working and earning money is wasted, the same with money spent on things that aren’t truly a super necessity. Which resulted in my health getting worse, as I felt like spending money on doctors is a waste as well, as I’m still walking and breathing and only my looks and mental health suffer because of it. Which, at that time, didn’t feel like a big sacrifice, since working as a freelancer and living with my mom, who’s responsible for groceries, I’m very rarely going out anyway, becoming sort of a hikikomori. Though now, feeling a bit of a relief with my more stable incomes, and finally health insurance, I’m trying to fight these beliefs, even if it’s not easy and will probably take some time to fix. Still my situation is getting better and now I’m trying to respect my free time and really do something I enjoy, starting to care for myself too. For the first time in those 5/6 years even taking some days off to go on vacation! Trying to grab some of my youth, before it will be gone forever and the only thing I will be able to recall will be staring at my monitor, working. I already feel very bad with all those lost years that have passed on just working and saving what’s yet to save and I can’t not feel bitter about it. But the only thing I can change now is my future, hoping it will become a bit brighter and not throw any more big problems my way. Which I wish for all of you as well! I know the world struggles with its own problems everywhere. Wars, where the recent one affects even my country, as a close neighbour to the victims; escalating prices, global warming, cataclysms… but hopefully there are going to be some good changes to get uplifting news as well. It may take time, but let’s wait.

3. My RPG

In those last two years I’ve started writing a new RPG with my friends. You may remember me mentioning it, as I’ve posted a sketch of one of my characters from it, Bear. It’s the very same one, based on the Zero Escape series, but since then we’ve moved from the first chapter, went through VLR, wrote some additional stories, like childhoods or things in between the events and now are starting to write the last (sadly) ZTD chapter. So no spoilers please! As I’m still in the unknown, while my friend, who already knows the plot, is walking us through it as a DM, revealing new information bit by bit 👀 And what can I say other than… OH MY GOOOD THIS GAME IS AMAAAZING! IT’S ONE OF THE BEST RPGS I'VE EVER BEEN INTO AND I'M SUPER HYPED AND I LOVE THIS GAME!!11!!1 Yes, it's exactly the same as I wrote before, but what can I say! It’s really a very goood story and I can’t wait to learn the big reveal! And I ttly love the characters we’ve created and I can’t have enough playing as them ♥ Yes, they’re based on the ones from the original game, but other than some basic things that were needed for the plot, I’d say they’re far from being the same (especially as I couldn’t really meet the true 999 characters as it would result in spoilers x’) ). They’re ones of my most thought-through and deeply planned characters that are just a pleasure to play. The more I’m sad there are no more chapters to play and soon I will have to say goodbye to all those characters that I grew to love through all those years. But once we’ll go through the whole series, I’ll stop being forbidden to play the original and I’d really like to give it a try, to see the differences. Though I might already be biased with our own version x’V Still, even though I can’t say much, based on what I know already, I truly recommend the game! I’ve heard the second chapter is the worst one, and I can see why, but the first one and last one are worth it, I promise! So better start playing, before I’ll upload some spoilers! ;P Which takes us to…

4. My art (SPOILERS coming soon!) and commissions

My lack of submitting anything new was connected to my lack of time, just as well as my lack of motivation. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was just so drained from creative energy, I just didn’t want to look at my tablet any more, as just a thought of having to start a drawing, making a sketch, linearting it and then even coloring was too big of a struggle (and “waste of time” in my workaholic eyes). That’s why most of my drawings ended up in a rough sketch stage, never to be opened again. Right now I’m still struggling with coming back to drawing anything not job oriented, but I’m slowly starting to discover this “phenomenon” anew.

And to answer some of your questions: No, unfortunately, I’m not opening my commissions again. With my current responsibilities, I just don’t have much time for it. Not to mention that I’m trying to cool down with my work time and find some for myself. That’s why I also don’t know when I’d be able to open them once more. But with that gained time I’m trying to come back to my own art, so you can expect some new drawings! I already have some works prepared, that just waited for me to upload and as mentioned above, I still have some unfinished sketches and not started ideas that I’d like to take care of. Though even if I’m probably not gonna come back to my previous rate, I’ll try to upload here more often… like… something. Hoping you’ll like the new content as well! Which, btw, will be highly connected to my new RPG, so ZERO ESCAPE SPOILERS ALERT. Even though the characters are not exactly the same, the plot and many things connected to their stories are, as it was the base that couldn’t be changed. So if you’re planning to play the games, be aware of it while looking at my upcoming works and reading the descriptions. But don’t worry, Zero Escape things won’t be the only ones I’m about to post ;) As there’s also something new, I’m very passionate about lately~

5. New, old hobby - SPACE!

I’ve always been a big space fan. Even at school, if there were some science contests, I couldn’t ignore the astronomy ones. Unfortunately physics, which should also contain astronomy, usually had a very small portion of it, focusing on other branches, mostly classical physics, that were less interesting to me. So the maximum amount of knowledge I got were some basics like how many of the planets in the solar system there are or the most known astronauts and that’s quite it. That made the school subject not very interesting to me and lessened my interest in astronomy and physics as well, as I wasn’t getting anything to fuel my curiosity, having to focus on the things I’d actually have at my exams. But now, after playing the new RPG, that contained a big portion of quantum physics and astronomy knowledge, kind of forcing me to learn things about it to understand it better, it reminded me of my early childhood affection and my love blossomed again, strong as never before ✨ Since that I spend most of my free time learning new things about astronomy and some quantum physics, trying to make up for all those “lost years” and be up to date with news about space, learning about constellations and astrophotography as well. I don’t have the best equipment for that, nor money to buy some better lenses or cameras x’) Though it’s still cool to experiment and to actually see more of the stars and night sky after exposing it. Or the Andromeda galaxy! Maybe just as a blurry dot, but the fact is exciting nevertheless. Here are some examples of my best photos I’ve taken so far (in a big city, so guess they’re not the worst :P ). Featuring Mars with Pleiades on a first one and Saturn and Jupiter on the bottom.

As for the upcoming events, I can’t wait for Jupiter’s great opposition on September 26th, which will make the closest approach to Earth since 1963! Very good opportunity to observe it even without a telescope and it’s so beautifully bright on the sky ♥

The other one would be more local, as it’s gonna be a partial solar eclipse on October 25th, but maybe some of you will got a chance to see a total one~ jealous.

Anyway, don’t be surprised to see some more signs of me being a space freak as I’m preparing some new series about the topic :D

6. My hair

At first I wasn’t going to add an update to this one, thinking no one would probably remember about my goal to reach Vasdorl’s hair length, but I’ve been proven wrong as some people asked me about it, to know how is it going. So! Here is the photo from this year’s spring, showing the maximal length I’ve managed to grew my hair :D From which I’m quite proud, as it’s also the longest hair I’ve had in my life, and I was trying to grow my hair before too.

Though it unfortunately didn’t change the fact it wasn't in the best shape. I was both super proud of it and super self-conscious, as together with my problems with excessive hair loss and my depression, made caring for them way harder and turned them more into uneven, broken shreds of my dream. That’s why this summer I decided to close this chapter and cut it short.

I’ve been wanting this type of hairstyle for some time already, but I still wasn’t sure if I should scrap so many years of dedication. But as my long hair was gradually making me more unhappy than anything, there was no going back. And I have to say I’m not regretting it at all! I also realized that as much as I still adore long hair and people who can do wonders with it, it’s not something for me and I feel much more comfortable with a so called “men’s haircut”, giving me that more agender look that I’m aspiring to. That’s why I’m not bothered by it that much and I like the change

7. My cats

Fortunately, nothing changed here, in a positive way. I’m still an owner of two cute fluffy siblings <3 Kajtek ♂ and Sasza ⧬

Lately Kajtek’s been a bit ill (bladder infection), but it’s nothing very serious and since he’s getting his medications, he’s getting better, so nothing to be worried about! And as always, he can keep bothering helping me at work.

-TL;DR summary-

I still work at the same place and on the same series, but I’ve got a promotion to an animation lead assistant! With a more stable paycheck and with a health insurance. Now working not only on background illustrations, but also layouts and animations which was always my dream ♥

Still struggling with my parent’s debts and some problems associated with it, but it’s better than it used to be and now I’m able to fully support my family and not overwork myself. Though it’s still serious enough to keep me stressed and make me unable to close that chapter, to take a big relieved breath. Still I’m trying to fight my demons and focus not just on work, but myself too, to not only live, but also enjoy my life.

PLAYING THE BEST RPG I'VE EVER BEEN INTO AND I'M SUPER HYPED AND I LOVE THIS GAME! It’s based on a Zero Escape series, but I’ve never played it before so everything that’s happening is a surprise for me. If you’ve never played it, go do it! ;D Currently starting to play the last, ZTD chapter.

I’m not opening my commissions and since I’m not very productive lately, there’s not gonna be tons of new artworks showing up, but you still can expect new works soon. Mostly connected to my new RPG, that’s why… ZERO ESCAPE SPOILERS ALERT! Even though the characters are not exactly the same, the plot and many things connected to their stories are, as it’s just the base that couldn’t be changed. So if you’re planning to play the games, be aware of it while looking at my upcoming works and reading the descriptions. But don’t worry, Zero Escape things won’t be the only ones I’m about to post ;)

I’M A SPACE FREAK NOW! 🪐💫✨ Hope you like the photos and look out for the great Jupiter opposition and eclipse!

I’ve grown my hair, but due to some health problems, I’ve cut them short and I’m happy with my decision (*¯︶¯*)

My cats are still cute and fluffy ଲ(=①ω①=)And Kajtek still likes to bother help me at work.

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Well, that’s everything I can think of right now and I think it sums those last two years quite nicely. If you’d have any more questions about any of the topics, feel free to ask. And also hope you’ve been doing fine! Or at least better too …and that this place is not dead yet x’) I’d gladly see who’s still here and meet new people. Not sure if artists have already found the perfect site to be active on? Still not moving from here, but I’ve heard about the big migration to Instagram, but I’ve never liked it and since it’s starting to change into another TikTok lately, focusing and promoting mostly reels, I’m not sure if it’s gonna stay the same, as it’s already been quite hard to be noticed there, without being popular already on some other sites and with the algorithm hiding your posts even from your own followers. Please, let me know what you think!

By that time, happy to be here again! And thanks for your support. Stay safe (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

#info #update on life #not dead yet

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roseintheclouds97 · 4 months

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Hello, it’s Eris again.

I’ve done a lot of thinking and I wanted to give you a proper apology. The way I left was really shitty. REALLY shitty. And I hate it and felt so guilty and I did it anyway bc well…I don’t want to call myself a shitty person bc I’m not. I just see that I have a lot of things I need to work on when it comes to friendships and running away…

I’m sure you noticed how often I’d try to run from my twin and I even often told you how I hated how I’d make friends online and then they’d leave with no explanation and ghost me despite me getting so attached. And now I went and did the same thing to you. In fact I spent so much time thinking about it I suddenly remembered you are not the first friend I’ve made online that I ran away from and just decided to leave out of nowhere and it sucks bc I’ll never be able to apologize to those girls. Or even comprehend why I do run away so suddenly despite knowing firsthand the pain it causes.

But I can apologize to you. I’m sorry. I don’t ask for forgiveness. But I do want to express my regret because you’re such a lovely girl and you didn’t deserve to just be left out in the cold like that and I AM sorry. Idk there’s some trauma there I need to work on to figure out why I do it. But I just wanted to apologize for it because it’s not your fault and it’s nothing you said or did. I truly did enjoy every one of our conversations and I’m sooo glad we talked as long as we did. You were there for me through my aunt’s cancer when I had no one else to talk to and when I was being dumb about my twin or ranting about life or the universe or whatever the fuck came to our minds. And I know it wasn’t one sided. We both were able to just vent and express ourselves and I’m really truly grateful because you are an amazing friend and a beautiful, intelligent young woman with so much potential.

So despite my shitty exit I wanted to remind you that you are an incredible woman and I hope me leaving hasn’t deterred you in anyway. Do NOT give up or istg- don’t let your father or mother or smelly ass ugly ass pilot or even the loser who couldn’t take a confession from you or shady people who shouldn’t be getting married get in your way.

I know it doesn’t seem like you’ve made any progress but throughout our time talking I watched you become more and more confident and bold and daring and give less and less fucks about the toxic people draining you and I’m so proud of you. You have to give yourself credit. You might be changing slowly but you ARE changing and you are trying and fighting tooth and nail and I hope you can acknowledge that bad bitch part of you that still thrives despite the shitty conditions you’re put in.

I don’t care if you want to be a flight attendant or win a pageant or move to Bora Bora and sell coconuts. You stick to your dreams and you keep fighting, girl. Bc fuck you’re incredible! And it would be a damn shame if you told me all that you have and you did nothing to continue writing your story. This is only chapter one bitch! Get to writing! There’s still so much to tap into.

I’m doing better :) mentally, I mean. I have my bad days but I started taking these stress gummies and they help a LOT which maybe means I need anxiety meds but for now gummies it is. I’m motivated, I’m happy again. I’m relaxed most days. I’m exercising and I bought myself new clothes. I’m going to go to that 5sos concert and have a good ass time. You’ll be happy to know I haven’t fought with my twin at all and I’ve had three dreams of him(wow! New record 🤩) and two of them were about meeting him so who knows 👀 won’t get my hopes up though bc been there done that.

Oh and I put my two weeks notice in today! I’m happy to quit and move on and yeah school will be hard but mentally I’m happier there than clocking in at a shit job that drains me. But we do it bc we have to. Bc it’s a temporary stepping stone so remember that, okay? We need money so we work but it’s not forever!

I’m not on here but I wanted to again apologize and idk I hope you’re doing well and I felt like you deserved another less rushed apology even if it’s still vague and shitty. I’m always rooting for you regardless of my shitty coping mechanisms 🥹

Idk if any of this makes sense or if it makes it worse. I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. Best <3

I know you probably won’t see this, but I hope you have a happy new year. 🎊

There’s a lot I wish I could say to you and tell you about these past few months. I thought I’d give replying to your last message a try.

At first I didn’t know how to feel. I’ve been abandoned too many times to count at this point, so while it hurt, it was kind of expected. I don’t really have any friends right now either and the new ones I tried to make during training ended up being pretty fake.

Still very much alone but I’m learning to be okay with that. I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who only use me.

Can’t say some of the bad decisions haven’t continued but it’s been a rough couple of months so you can’t completely blame me. Lost my grandma. Hate my job (yeah I’m a flight attendant). Two people disappeared with no notice (one of them being you). But I’m hoping next year is gonna be much better. I do have plans that I hope to follow through with.

I think you’re the last person I could hold a grudge against because we are very similar and I understand why you did what you did because I’ve been in your shoes before. So If you ever decide to reach out again I have a buddy pass with your name on it to take you to Korea or wherever you want to go. I’m literally just one flight away if you decide to open your heart to friends again 🩵

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astramthetaprime · 1 year

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And then it all went merrily to hell...

Never congratulate yourself. It always ends in tears.

So two days -- two days -- after posting that last post from my phone because I was just so goddamned happy to be writing again ...

I have a day job. It’s not much of a day job as I work 40 hours a week and yet do not make enough to cover all my bills of a month. Despite proving this twice to the State of Tennessee, I have been rejected for food stamps twice. It’s now a daily (er, weekly?) occurrence that I get my paycheck, go to get groceries, then the next week I’m overdrawn and cannot get groceries for the second week because the only things I have spent money on are literally utility bills... So yeah, I’m now going through the house designating stuff to be sold on Ebay. Geez I thought I left off staring at auction screens the last time I logged off WoW. I still savor the irony that I was a very successful and wealthy Gnome in WoW and I’m literally a step away from destitution in real life. I blame not being able to wander through my neighbors’ yards ripping up handfuls of plants to be sold to the highest bidder. But I digress.

Anyway. So Wednesday, I logged on to work. I work at home, btw. So, logged on. Immediately pulled into private chat by my supervisor. I was told that the company is no longer doing back office work, and the work I’m currently doing is ending. I am given a choice -- phone work, or my last day is December 9th.

I did phone work when I first signed on to this outfit. I was customer service for TurboTax, during tax season. With a camera aimed at my face. Involving a very complex system that I had to learn to proficiency in 2 weeks. While trying to understand and deal with often upset and angry people for eight hours a day.

When I was moved off that, I made it extremely clear to my supervisor I would not do phone work again. And to be fair, they honored that by putting me on my current job, essentially doing back office data entry. At the time I was not as aware as I am now of my various autistic problems, but I knew that I did not need to be on the verge of tears every moment I was logged in to that system. I can’t keep up with what people are saying, often I cannot understand them over the phone, and having to deal with a computer system that I likely only vaguely understand and for which any mistake could get me fired at any moment, well...

And to top it all off, no one else in my group has been told this. So it looks like I’ve been targeted. Do a job you cannot handle, or be laid off. And since I would have refused a reasonable job offer, I would not be eligible for unemployment.

Mind you, for a job that pays so little it doesn’t pay all my bills.

So I said yes. Because what choice was I given? I have such a difficult time getting a job at all that I stay because I may be out of work for months or even years even in this “we’re hiring everybody” job climate. Because I’m so bad at the socialness of getting a job that I am never hired. Why did I stay with the Post Office for 23 years, through documented abuse and racism, manipulation and exploitation? Because I knew I’d never get another decent job.

And for all the current pro-Union sentiment going around, the American Postal Workers Union never, in all those 23 years, helped me to improve those situations. They told me to destroy evidence of abuse, they stood by and did absolutely nothing when their own steward was ringleading the abuse in another case, and didn’t bother to show up to adjudicate an arbitration where I could prove hands down I was in the right. Bless the kids at Starbucks and Amazon and wherever else, I hope you guys can do it better, but unions are useless parasites as far as I’m concerned.

The point is, I was given no choice but to accept a job that I am not suited for, which will cause me stresses I am not equipped to deal with, for far less than a living wage.

I’ve started putting in applications again online. Likely nothing will come of it, and if anything does I won’t make it past the first interview. But at the very least I stick up for myself a bit more than I used to. That’s something, isn’t it? I may not react quickly, but at least these days I react. Eventually.

I wish... I wish a lot of things. I wish I’d had some kind of gumption at some point in my life to learn an actual trade. I’ve never had any ambition or urge to learn ... oh, you know, programming or truck driving or plumbing or what have you. I can type. I type damned fast, to be honest, and very accurately. I’ve tried to learn various things at various times, I’ve got CompTIA’s A+ and Network+ certifications from 2013 because at the time I was aiming to get a job doing computer tech work. But it never went anywhere. It’s like the dots just don’t connect somewhere in my head. Like the Underpants Gnomes joke, Step 1 Do this thing + ???? = Step 3 Profit! I never have been able to figure out the ????.

And now I’m 53 goddamned years old and I keep wondering if it’s possible to get PTSD from repeatedly being manipulated and exploited for the past several decades. And why do I never have a case against these motherfuckers so I can finally sue somebody into the middle of next week for what they’ve done to me.

So after that little “talk” I went back to work. Because of course you do. I have to work. I can’t afford to take a day off. I spent the rest of Wednesday crying and nauseous. And got only four hours of sleep the night after.

On top of the thing with my idiot cousin the weekend before, I just... I’m just done, ya’know?

But after work, despite it all, not every night but a couple nights since, I’ve turned on my own machine. I’ve loaded my notes, fired up my writing music, looked at my character photos, and dreamed of another world. Until this one is done, I’m stuck here. Until then it’s not The End.

#actually autistic #livingwagepls #allaboardtheangstexpress #writing

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frogtanii · 3 years

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iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha.

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos.

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok?

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished.

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways.

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing?

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out.

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”.

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

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solomonish · 3 years

Text

How To Keep Your Demon Entertained At A Walmart

Congratulations! You've earned yourself a few demon date days up in the human world! But what's this? You have errands to run? Well, we all know these demons can't function without you for more than five minutes....but an entity that's thousands of years old gets a little bored and restless in the hyper-market wasteland of a Walmart...

Nowdateables: coming soon!

Lucifer

if you don't want him getting passive-aggressive about how you should've done this before he got here (yeesh Lucifer some of us have jobs or responsibilities that we can't shove onto our siblings for a day to see our precious mc) then you better be ready to make conversation

definitely not the type to allow you to even think about sending him off so you can get stuff done. he's not even that bothersome, so he'll get offended if you even think about it, but also wouldn't you rather keep him around to reach the top shelves?

basically if you don’t want to keep Lucifer entertained, you have to be the one he needs to keep entertained

do that thing where you roll around on the cart like a skateboard and he’ll be trying to put a stop to it immediately

put random things in your cart that he knows you don’t need and let him take it out and put it back where it belongs

stare him in the eyes as you put that party size brownie mix in your cart then speed walk away. he will come up from an aisle in front of you and silently pluck the box out and take it back. he will come back to see seven boxes of corn dogs and momentarily considers breaking up with you

does not need a treat as a bribe, but will definitely forgive your antics if you bought something from the bakery to snack on as you go home (especially if you did it without him noticing, considering the eagle eye he’s had to have on your cart the whole time)

just don’t have the nerve to complain about the crumbs in your car after that

Mammon

I would say to ask him to scan the area looking for dropped coins on the floor but he'd probably knock down shelves trying to look beneath them so....maybe don't?

also please keep an eye on him or he WILL be shoplifting. human jail is (probably?) a step up from demon jail but like. let's aim for no jail, ok mammon?

instead, give him a pre-portioned off list and tell him it's like a scavenger hunt. he'll scamper off to explore the walmart and his duty to keeping you happy has like a 70% chance of preventing him from stealing anything too important

make sure the stuff you put on the list is kind of hard to find but not too hard. you wanna keep him occupied without risking him freaking out because he can't find this super specific spice you want

either that or only make a really vague list like. tell him you need bread and he'll stand in the bread aisle trying to remember if you like white bread or whole wheat bread until you come to retrieve him

bring money for a treat. if it's near st patrick's day go in the seasonal aisle and hope they have chocolate gold coins

he's not too hard to deal with, but figuring out what's sneaky enough to put on the list is a chore of its own so going by yourself is less work anyway

Leviathan

taking him to walmart was your final fatal mistake

seriously? he has to go in? you could have just left him in the car!!

you take him intending to have him pick out some normie snacks (since you don't have any limited edition whatever-the-fucks in your house right now) but he looks so uncomfortable you make a detour towards the games

just leave him to play on the trial device and go pick out a few things for him to choose from when you circle back to him

arguable the least stressful trip for you until you have to wade through the pool of kids surrounding him and watching him play when it's time to pay and leave

you won't have to buy him anything but you will have to wait for him to finish the level he's on before he lets you drag him away. and he'll probably complain a little bit in the car about how terrible it was to go in in the first place, which a treat would help minimize.

so i guess just pick your battles with this one?

Satan

satan is a refined individual with startling amounts of self control. he does not need pointed in the direction of the books. he can entertain himself on a grocery run.

point him in the direction of the books anyway

their selection is always small (because it’s a walmart not a bookstore) and half of it is children’s anyway so he’ll probably wander off real quick

satan doesn’t need to be entertained, no, he’s past that. he needs to be kept on a leash

you have no way of knowing where he’ll end up. sometimes he’ll be somewhere that makes sense like in the stationary but sometimes you’ll find him staring at the paint samples like it’s a masterpiece in a museum or over by the fishing hooks reading up about local fish populations and how to get a fishing license and you’re just like “???? i’ve been looking for you for twenty minutes???? don’t give me facts about salmon???”

will ask you why you need to buy tires in the same place you get your food. isn’t that suspicious? what do they specialize in?

answer him only with the word “bargains” and he’ll stop asking once he understands or gets annoyed

you don’t need to buy him a treat unless he finds a book he wants. then come on mc, you dragged him out here and you’re NOT gonna let him get this one thing??

Asmodeus

he's fine with making an errand run with you actually!

he's up on the human world for you baby, just make sure to hold his hand so he feels appreciated

asmo is far too entertained with the concept of a walmart for his own good. don't go with him if you want it to be a quick trip because he'll want to go around the whole store

thinks at first that it's kind of nifty that humans just dump all the things they need in one store but is quickly turned off from the novelty when he realizes how short the distance is between the clothes and the nearest package of raw chicken

even if the selection is small, he will want to spend time in the makeup department. probably goes on rants about how he can’t imagine this quality of product is good for your skin

will still buy nail polish though if you let him

overall? not terrible to have around, but make sure you don’t have anywhere to be in the next hour when you take him

Beelzebub

pack a gallon bag of cheerios like he's a toddler and get ready to fucking book it in and out of there

you know how you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? what were you thinking bringing Beel around??

another brother who’s good for reaching tall shelves if you need it

Beel also has this talent where he can just list off the ingredients you need if you happen to forget your list

if you want, you can distract him momentarily by just throwing out random dishes and he’ll get the ingredients right every time (even though they’re human dishes!!) but you’ll end up giving him like five different cravings by the time you leave

only take him if you want to speedrun grocery shopping, because he will start eating food you haven’t paid for if you take too long

bring extra money for that too, just in case he gets caught :(

Belphegor

bringing belphie to walmart isn't a matter of keeping him entertained moreso than keeping him awake

which you will inevitably fail to do

so even if you only need like three things, get him a cart and let him fall into the basket

he’ll try to stay awake (and he’ll give very self-satisfied grins to the people who stare at him ((and especially the ones who say “wow i wanna do that”))) but he can only fight off his sin for so long

stop by the blankets so he can stuff a few soft things in (bc he’s gotta be uncomfortable cramped in the little basket) and he’ll make himself a tiny nest

the good news is you can put anything on top of him and he won’t complain. just don’t drop any gallons of milk on him or anything that’ll wake him up

go to a self check-out so the employees don’t yell at you

after you put your groceries in your car, just dump his ass on the pavement. he’ll forgive you if you bought him the blankets.

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my-emotional-self · 3 years

Text

Toxic Love Chapter 3

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing. But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy)

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story! I apologize in advance!

Two days later you found yourself back in the same elevator at the Avengers Tower, only this time with Bucky. It was a surprise when you opened up your apartment door to see Bucky standing there, ready to escort you to the tower as you planned on walking there yourself. But you didn’t mind one bit. In fact, you found Bucky Barnes to be rather charming and quite adorable with half of his hair in a little bun in the back of his head.

The elevator doors opened on the same floor as last time. Bucky walked in front of you as you followed closely behind him and that was when you spotted Steve. He was dressed much more casually this time in a pair of black sweats and a gray t-shirt that looked about two sizes too small. His arm muscles practically ripping the seams of his shirt. It was definitely a sight to see.

Steve was leaned over the island counter looking at some paperwork and turned when he heard the two of you enter. This time, a small smile graced his lips. He walked right up to you and quickly apologized. “I’m sorry for the way I acted the other day. I’ve been under a lot of stress and while I couldn’t be more happy to have finally met you, the timing is just not that great. I truly am sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

Looking up into those baby blue eyes of his, your body melts. You hadn’t noticed the first time you saw him just how bright his eyes were. Could you forgive him? Sure, you could only imaging how stressful of a job this must be for him and the rest of the Avengers.

“Yeah, I forgive you Steve,” you replied with a close lipped smile.

“Great, why don’t we head into the living room and we can talk,” he said as he held his arm out towards the living room.

You sat on the large couch, right in the middle while both Steve and Bucky sat on the chairs on either side of the couch. Both men had their hands clasped together with their elbows on their knees, leaning forward. They were watching you intently, waiting for your decision.

“Umm, alright I can start,” you began to say, giving your lips a lick as your mouth felt parched. “After two days of thinking it over, I have decided to move in here…if that’s ok with you both.” Why were you so nervous this time around? Was it because Steve was actually being nicer and taking his time to talk to you rather than talk down to you? Was it because both men were intently staring at you? Whatever it was, you hadn’t felt quite this nervous in some time.

“Of course it would be alright with us if you moved in. Isn’t that right Buck?”

“Absolutely,” Bucky replied, a bright smile on his face.

Giving both men a shaky nod, you chewed on your lower lip nervously, knowing what was coming next and you just hoped they weren’t going to be too terrible. And if they were, hopefully they would be willing to compromise on a few.

Steve cleared his throat as he stood up from his chair; Bucky following his lead as they both stood in front of you. “Should we go over the rules then?” Steve asked with authority in his tone, but you knew that was just part of him being the ‘alpha’ of this relationship. Giving him a subtle nod, Steve began with the rules.

“Rule number one. You are not to leave the tower by yourself. You either have one of us go with you or at least get someone else living in the tower to go with you. We would prefer one of us, but if we are on a mission, then that’s understandable. We don’t want you getting hurt and we only want to protect you,” he stated.

Ok, this wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. While you were more of a hermit anyways, not really going out much even during the day, this rule seemed pretty easy to follow. “I can agree to that rule,” came your reply.

“Good, rule number two. No lying. We want an open and honest relationship and if you lie to us, we can’t help you and it will certainly not help with trusting you. Same goes for us. We won’t lie to you either. Deal?”

“Deal.” Wow, this was much easier than you thought.

“Rule number three. No touching yourself without one of us.” And there it goes, all out the window. You could feel the embarrassment creep up on your neck and cheeks. “I know this rule can be a little out there. But Bucky and I want to be the ones that give you pleasure.”

You weren’t innocent, of course you got yourself off. Hell, you had a whole drawer full of toys. But this seemed a little excessive. You didn’t plan on jumping into the sack with either of them for a while, not until you got to know them and bringing pleasure to yourself was one of your biggest stress relievers.

“Ok, but what if you two are on a mission for weeks, if not months?”

Bucky and Steve gave each other a look. It seemed as if they were speaking to each other telepathically, knowing what the other was thinking just by that one look.

“How about this,” Bucky began to say, his shoulders relaxing. “If we are gone on a mission that is more than two weeks, we can try phone sex perhaps. That way one of us is still technically bringing you pleasure with at least our voice.”

Letting out a breath, you thought about it for a minute. It’s not like you were a sex crazed maniac; you didn’t need to get off five times a day. It would be difficult though, especially in the beginning of the relationship, but it was possible. “Ok. I’ll agree to that.”

“Good,” Steve stated, giving you little smile. “Rule four. You don’t need any money or income. Bucky and I have more than enough for us to live very comfortably and we can provide for you. We would like you to not work if you do have a job right now.”

“Nope. Hard no,” you exclaimed. You loved your job, it was your passion, your hobby. When you were dating John, he made you give it up. When you told him no, well, that was the first time he hit you. He had backhanded you across your face, leaving you bruised for weeks. When you finally got out of that relationship and he was thrown in jail, your job was the only thing to keep you from falling over the edge. “Look, I don’t need my job either. It pays well and I’m good at saving. I have plenty of money in the bank for a rainy day. But I can’t not do my job. It is my passion and my one true hobby. I am begging you, please don’t make me quit,” you spoke with a trembling lip and damp eyes.

In the blink of an eye, Steve was sitting down to your right, Bucky to your left. They each placed a hand on your knee in comfort. “Maybe we can compromise on this then. What is it that you do for a living?” Bucky questioned.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and willed the tears away. “I’m a gamer.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t really know what that means,” Steve said.

“A gamer. I go online and play games on a site called Twitch. I live stream as I play games and people watch me.”

“People watch you to play games online and you get paid to do that?” Bucky asked with confusion.

A chuckle left your lips. “I know. It sounds silly. But I love it. I really do. I work from home. I make my own hours. I can work ten days in a row if I want and I can take a month off if I want.”

“So how often do you work?” came Steve’s question.

You shrugged your shoulders. “It depends. Lately I’ve been working about four to five nights a week on average. But if we compromise, I can easily go down to two nights a week and I’d still be ok with that.”

There it was again, Steve and Bucky looking at each other. You swore they were talking with their minds, but then again, they have known each other for what, over 100 years now?

“Alright. Two nights a week we will start out with.” You squealed in excitement as your arms wrapped around Steve’s neck in a tight hug before doing the same to Bucky.

“Thank you for compromising with me,” you sputtered in excitement. “Are there any other rules?”

“Just one more for the time being. If we need to come up with more rules along the way we will. But for the last rule, we want you to be healthy. That means eating three meals a day and getting a good night’s rest. We don’t want you up at all hours of the night and sleeping during the day. We try to eat as many meals as possible together. Mainly breakfast and lunch during the weekends and dinner every night if possible.”

Well, that one will be really difficult for you to deal with. You never ate breakfast. Hell, you barely ate lunch. You really only ate on average one meal a day and then snacks here and there. “I can definitely try with the eating three meals a day. I normally only eat one meal a day and then have snacks but I promise to try. But when I do my job, it is done at night and sometimes I am up a little later than normal.”

Steve nodded and you watched as his jaw clenched. “Just try to get to bed at a reasonable hour on those few nights a week that you work alright?”

There was this deep feeling inside of you that made you not want to upset your soulmate so you quickly nodded your head in agreement.

“I do have one question,” you asked quietly.

“Go ahead,” Steve responded, eyes on you.

“What if I do break a rule? What happens then?”

Steve cocked his head to the side, thinking about it. “Well, I guess it depends on what rule you break and how severely you break it. It could be something as simple as not being able to go to your hobby room on the communal floor, or having you spend time in your room alone. This is new territory for us to so we might have to make the punishments up as we go.”

“Ok, that sounds doable,” you agreed.

Bucky touched the small of your back and you turned to face him. “Is there anything in particular on your end you wanted to say? Any kind of rules for us you wanted to discuss?”

You thought about it for a minute, but only one came to mind. “Yeah,” you began to speak quietly as you looked down at your hands in your lap. “You can call me doll and sweetheart and any other terms of endearment like that. But please don’t call me ‘babe’.” Memories of John growling out that word to you as he punched and kicked you until your ribs broke came flooding back to you. You never wanted to be called that word again.

“I think we can manage that,” Bucky agreed.

“That won’t be a problem on our end at all,” Steve quipped. “Now how about we order some pizza and we can get to know you a little better?”

Just then, your stomach grumbled at the thought of pizza. You were starving. “Pizza sounds amazing right now.”

#steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers smut #bucky barnes smut #dark!steve rogers #dark! steve rogers

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hyenahunt · 3 years

Text

Conquest - Prologue

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt

Hiyori: But the problem is, we're not enemies at all. We're allies, aren't we?

[Location: ES Breakroom]

[One day in late spring...]

Hiyori: "Eden Breaks Up?! The decisive battle fans have all been waiting for: Adam VS Eve —"

—Or so says this ridiculous performance plan I just received over HoldHands.

I'd greatly appreciate a detailed explanation of just what is going on. Depending on your answer, chances are I won't let you off.

Nagisa: ...Wow, Hiyori-kun, your expression is frightening.

Ibara: Aye-aye! Allow me to offer you an explanation. After all, it is my job to see to it that this incomprehensible world is dissected, cooked up and arranged for serving.

That being said, however, this appetising proposal came from the higher-ups themselves, and as such I myself am not too clear on how it came to be.

All the same, I do have some grasp of the overall outline.

Nagisa: ...I had no idea about this. While I did receive it on HoldHands, I leave all administrative matters to Ibara.

Hiyori: Nagisa-kun, you're pretty much the leader of both Eden and Adam, aren't you?

I do feel it would be for the best if you managed such things yourself, but well, everyone has their individual strengths and weaknesses, I suppose?

Nagisa: ...Yes. I'd rather not concern myself with the everyday world. It's troublesome.

...And having Ibara look over it results in a more accurate understanding. He's the right person for this.

Ibara: Ahahaha! Receiving such praise and trust from you is truly an honour, Your Excellency!

Nagisa: ...I simply state the truth. By the way, Jun, did you know about this proposal?

Jun: Ugh, please don't drag me into this, Nagi-senpai. Ohii-san's been in such a crazy awful mood all morning and I wanna have nothing to do with it, y'know~?

In situations like these, I'm the one who usually ends up as his stress outlet, after all —

But whatever, I guess. What'd that proposal say again...?

It sounds like something only the unit leaders receive, so there's no way an underling like myself would know anything about it, yeah~?

Nagisa: ...Ahh, it does seem like that's how it works.

...It's set up so that all messages I receive are immediately forwarded to Ibara, so it doesn't concern me, though.

Hiyori: Nagisa-kun, are you alright with that?

If you leave every little thing to Ibara like that — or grow dependent on him, I should say—then aren't you going to have trouble living on if he randomly drops dead one day?

Ibara: Worry not! I won't be dying any time soon — I cannot allow myself to die when we've gotten this far already!

Hiyori: Well, even if Ibara does kick the bucket, I can look after Nagisa-kun like how I used to so everything will be just fine.

Ibara: Indeed, should such a situation ever arise, I will leave him in Your Highness' capable hands.

...Anyway, to return to the topic at hand, I do believe the current proposal isn't completely devoid of points worth considering.

Hiyori: ... In what way, may I ask?

Jun: (Woah. Ohii-san's face is seeeriously scary as hell right now. He's usually all silly laughs and smiles, so when he's got a serious face on you know shit's gonna go down.)

(This time he seems kinda actually really upset about things, huh?)

Ibara: Right. Firstly, it is essential to note that this proposal is by the restructured top brass of CosPro, after the majority of its executives were fired due to the scandal at the end of last year.

They're all most eager to repair their damaged reputations — money is no object in their quest to prove their innocence and competence.

So in short, they intend to create something of great extravagance with this proposal. They'll pull out all the stops, no matter what it takes.

And since this comes right on the heels of the scandal, even the higher-ups will be careful not to attempt anything dubious behind the scenes — so everything should be safe.

Nagisa: ...Well, true fools tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over, though.

Ibara: All the same, it's common knowledge that after the last scandal, we as Eden collectively denounced and drove out the top brass.

Taking that into account, the fact that they've put out a proposal means that they're prepared to face such a situation once more.

This is a proposal of great importance—one that puts their lives on the line, if you will.

At the same time, if we were to reject this proposal, which is composed of the desperate desires of these higher-ups, they'll simply shrink away and believe anything they do or say will be pointless.

I'd greatly prefer to have some clumsy fools bumbling about their jobs rather than frightened figureheads cowering in a corner.

To be frozen in place is no different from being dead, after all. And corpses certainly can't be mobilised for war.

Simultaneously, always saying anything and everything is out of the question will never allow for growth in us humans.

...Well, such overprotective and motherly behavior seems to be a favorite of His Highness Hiyori.

Hiyori: ...In what sense? I certainly feel as though you're mocking me right now, you know?

Ibara: Of course not, I would never do such a thing... It is but a misunderstanding.

But in any case, for the sake of the top brass gaining experience, and to grant them that sense of self-confidence and achievement, I would dearly like for us to accept their proposal.

Nagisa: ...It's actually an interesting proposal, too.

...A confrontation between Adam and Eve... I've never considered such a thing before.

Jun: Well, it kinda feels like something guys would be pretty into. It's almost like pro-wrestling.

Seeing who'd win if Adam and Eve faced off... that might really catch our fans' interest, actually~

Hiyori: Ngh... A lion is still the king of beasts even if he doesn't go around proclaiming it, right?

Ibara: Certainly. That being said, a performance is essential in allowing the masses to actually understand this, as they are rather slow on the uptake.

And it is for that purpose that we now have this current plan: "Conquest".

For us of Eden, who were regrettably only the runner-ups for the idol world's greatest festival, Winter Live, at the end of last year...

Perhaps it's a rather ambitious event, to try and realise that domination that once slipped through our grasp —

That world domination, thwarted by Trickstar, or rather obstructed by traitors within our own camp.

Now is the time to see it through — that, I feel, is the current sentiment borne by the higher-ups of CosPro.

Conquer all, and we shall seize the world within our hands.

Hiyori: Well, in all honesty, I do have faint regrets that we weren't able to conquer the nation at the end of last year.

But we'd still be able to make the world ours just by doing things as we always have. Why make a show out of something so unsightly as an internal quarrel—

Ibara: That's not the case. ES has now been established, and in this new era of oligarchy between the four agencies, it'll prove difficult to stand out if we simply go about our days without aim.

If we are to use a single showpiece to launch ourselves to the top, then it is essential for it to be explosive in nature.

In that sense, I believe Conquest is the ideal plan for it. Since the earliest times, people have always been drawn to showdowns of destiny, after all.

Such as Holmes and Moriarty, Godzilla and King Ghidora, Goku and Vegeta... Would you understand those examples, Your Highness?

Jun: Oh, I totally get you.

Ibara: Good. Let's see... it would be something akin to the War of the Roses — does that make sense?

Hiyori: Mm... I can't deny that a showdown between age-old enemies would be exciting, of course.

But the problem is, we're not enemies at all. We're allies, aren't we?

No... I consider Eden a family, but am I the only one who feels that way?

Nagisa: ......

✦✦✦✦✦

✦ all ✦ next →

#hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #nagisa ran #ibara saegusa #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #type: event #s: conquest #era: !!#status: complete #hyenahunttl

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100hearteyes · 3 years

Photo

Part 2 of Clarke And Lexa Make a Porno, because why the fuck not.

Part 1.

"No. Absolutely not."

Anya's wolfish grin is no good omen. Lexa feels a sense of dread wash over her and tries in vain to assuage her nerves by holding her friend's gaze. Anya wouldn't look this sure if she didn't have some card up her sleeve.

Lexa throws a furtive glance around, checks that her co-workers are still focused on the German porn telenovela. It's only when she's sure that the action on-screen will keep them rooted for a while that she turns back to Anya, trying but failing to meet her eyes.

She overcompensates with another glance around the room and a low hiss. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but am I not too," she licks her lips, gathering the courage, "'vanilla' to do it?"

Anya shrugs like it's a no-brainer; crosses her arms and props her booted feet on Lexa's desk. "That's exactly the point. You're a lesbian Disney princess. Pretty sure if you started singing the whole fucking fauna of Capitola would follow you around."

Lexa levels Anya with a glare and tries to push her feet off the desk, to no avail.

(Seriously, what's it worth being editor if she can't even have her subjects' respect? She wishes this job was less about the headaches and more about the self-indulgent moments of microscopic tyranny.)

The feet might not budge, but Anya will. Lexa is sure of it. She draws herself taller and tucks on her most authoritative scowl. "I won't do it."

Anya plucks an imaginary cigarette from her mouth and throws it away without a care in the world. She reaches behind her and drags forth a heavy wooden box, filled to the brim with—

"My vinyls."

Lexa is in a daze.

She thought she'd lost all her vinyls to time and moving. She mourned each one of them for at least a year, cried many a night away clutching her record player to dear life, lamenting their shared loss.

They had a real connection.

But it turns out her vinyls weren't lost after all, and her tears were for naught. They were safe all along, albeit in different hands, and she'd known nothing of it, like a mother who lets her children wander about without aim nor authority.

How can she ever have kids if she can't even take care of her prized vinyls?

Lexa feels a prick of self-righteous indignation at the betrayal and puffs out her chest. "Why do you have all my vinyls?"

"I think you mean all my vinyls," Anya corrects with a lazy flurry of one hand towards the box.

"You don't even own a record player."

"How the fuck would you know?"

Lexa raises an eyebrow at her friend. "I come over all the time?"

"I could hide it while you're there."

"And then you'd never find it again, because that's what happens every time you try to hide something from me."

Anya shrugs and watches as Lexa picks one of the vinyls and turns it over in her hands, reading the track list on the back with the reverence one would a millennium-old parchment. Then she looks up at Anya with a stern glare.

"Over half of these were stolen from my house."

Anya shrugs again with infuriating nonchalance and Lexa wishes she had a pencil nearby just so she could snap it in two with one hand. Or stab one of Anya's eyes with it.

"Maybe I just rescued them from the actual malefactor," drawls Anya.

"We both know the real culprit sits across from me and has been wearing the same socks for the past three weeks."

Nailed it.

When she looks at her friend, however, all she sees is that same old resting bitch face that never seems to go away.

"Wow, Lexa," Anya deadpans. "Now you've really hurt my feelings."

Sometimes, Lexa wonders if Anya really has a rock where her heart should be. A supernatural, blood-pumping rock, of course, but a rock nonetheless. Or, maybe, Anya is a psychopath. Maybe the blood money theory wasn't so far-fetched after all. That would explain the brazen lack of empathy for everyone else's feelings, most of all Lexa's. What does it say about Lexa that her one true friend is someone who sneezes literally every time Lexa says 'I love you'?

Not that Lexa says it a lot. Only once or twice every few years.

Just enough to have noticed the pattern.

"Are you really trying to blackmail me with vinyls?"

Anya fakes an affronted gasp, laying a hand on her heart. "Would I ever. Think of it as... an incentive."

Lexa really does love Anya, despite her friend's... unique demeanor. Anya helps her come out of her shell — by taking up all the space and forcing her out of her own metaphorical home — and every once in a while she likes to make sure Anya is aware of her gratitude. Sometimes, though, things get really fucking weird.

Lexa would still do anything for her best friend.

"Let's imagine, hypothetically - very hypothetically," she stresses, although Anya's burgeoning smirk tells Lexa she isn't so easily fooled, "that I agreed. What would happen next?"

Anya takes her feet off Lexa's desk and sits up straighter, perhaps aware of the importance of this moment. This, Lexa decides, will determine her answer.

"Well first, I'd have to get you a costar. Then we'd sign some legally binding shit, find a crew, and make the damn movie. Simple as that."

Anya leans forward, looking into her eyes. In Anya's, she sees honesty and a pressing need to reassure. It takes some of the pressure off her shoulders right away.

"Look, Lexa, you can say no. But your name won't be on anything related to the movie and I promise no one in this shitty town will ever find out you did this."

This is why Anya is Lexa's best friend. And it's why Lexa would do anything for her.

Even star in a porno.

"Okay."

Anya's inner smile must be really, really big, because Lexa knows how hard she tries to tamper its outward expression — and still her lips manage to lift into a grotesque grimace. Coming from Anya, it's the equivalent of a blissful grin.

"Okay?"

Lexa nods and closes her eyes, bracing herself for a bone-crushing hug. It never comes. When she opens her eyes, Anya's resting bitch face is back on.

"What, did you want a fucking hug?"

It's a blessing to have her rude friend back, Lexa guesses, because seeing Anya almost smile is fifty shades of unsettling. So she rolls her eyes and rolls with it.

Her next question demands her full focus, lest she makes an even bigger fool of herself than usual.

Lexa breathes in, makes sure all her co-workers are still otherwise entertained, breathes out. Smooths out a non-existent wrinkle in her pants, wets her lips for courage.

"Anyway," she treads with caution, "do you have someone in mind for the other main role?"

It's fitting that Harper McIntyre's hit song One More Betyreyal (one of her less inspired titles, if Lexa may say so) starts playing in that moment, for the look in Anya's eyes speaks of nothing but danger. Lexa wonders how much planning went into this conversation, so Anya could plan all her gut punches in advance.

"Clarke Griffin."

No. No. Anyone but her.

Clarke Griffin is the new recruit, although Lexa hardly understands how there can be someone new considering the station is broke and they’re already overstaffed — and none of them make nearly enough money for how much they laze around all day.

Clarke came from out of town with a fancy degree and was directly hired as an editor. She voices the early afternoon newscasts and Lexa curses the one-hour period during which she's forced to cohabitate with Clarke every day.

Apparently, Clarke had taken a liking to unnerving her, be it by smirking at her every time she catches Lexa staring or by making all sorts of inappropriate comments — to her ear. Lexa hates how much it affects her, but how can she possibly focus on reporting about Lionel "Real Sight" Foster swallowing his own wooden eye or how Jasper Jordan rescued his own private parts from the jaws of two slats of an unassuming park bench if someone keeps doing everything in their power to distract her?

Lexa has a theory (an iron-clad theory, if she may say so herself), and it's that Clarke is trying to get her fired so she can take her shift. It's the best shift of the day. There is no other possible explanation.

"You know what, I take it back. Now you need to convince two people to star in your porno."

"Oh, there's no need." Anya waves her argument away with staggering nonchalance. "Clarke's already said yes."

Wait, what? "But you told me we'd need to get me a costar."

Anya shrugs and Lexa is now seriously considering revisiting her psychopath theory. "I lied."

"You conniving, lying b—"

"Careful," Anya cuts in with a raised eyebrow. "I am under protection of the Capitola Astrologers Union."

"Of which you are president, treasurer, and the only legal member," Lexa reminds her. "And I think any upstanding judge would love to know how exactly every other name on the list has joined said union posthumously."

"I am an astrologer, Lexa. I can communicate with the dead. It's in my job description."

"It scares me that you're not even aware you're describing an entirely different profession."

Lexa sits back, staring at the ceiling (and the chewing gum Murphy glued there a year ago — he could've been an Olympic jumper if he committed to work the way he does to being an asshole), trying to come to terms with a single, harrowing probability: she's going to star in a porno with Clarke Griffin.

"l don't understand why it has to be Clarke."

Anya leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees, expression serious and ready to talk shop. The last time Lexa saw her like this was— actually, Lexa doesn't think she's ever seen Anya like this.

"Look, I've done some market analysis and most girl on girl pairings are a blonde and a brunette." Anya raises both her hands and starts counting off fingers, "Brittana, Petramos, Holstein, Wayhaught, Supercorp, Joanarty, Choni, the inaptly named Shoni, Deanoru, Dana and Alice, Bette and Tina, Catradora, Villaneve, Clexa—"

"What's Clexa?"

"I don't know, some chicks from this fucking terrible CW show."

"Do you like it?"

"Do I like what?"

"Clexa."

"Dude, I don't even know their fucking names!" Anya exclaims, exasperated. As if she's the victim here. "The only Clexa I ship is you and Blondie. Naked. On my porno. Clarke and Lexa. Clexa. Havin' very hot sexa."

"Smart," Lexa deadpans.

"I know."

"Why can't it be Niylah? She's blonde, too."

Anya's smirk is five hundred shades of gross. "I know you'd love to get up close and personal with Niylah's knick-knacks, but no."

Lexa decides to let the comment fly for the sake of her own sanity.

"Why Clarke, though?"

"Because you two have chemistry, you fucking dimwit."

Lexa snorts. Chemistry. Lexa has never heard of something so absurd. She and Clarke have as much chemistry as Harper McIntyre and any semblance of originality.

Which is to say, none at all.

"She makes very inappropriate comments," she argues instead, knowing full well that pressing on the topic of chemistry will only open way for some trademark crass joke from Anya.

"Yeah," her friend agrees, like it's obvious. "Because she knows you love them."

She most certainly does not.

"I most certainly do not."

"You do. Your freakishly tiny ears go red whenever she flirts with you. Your step falters when she makes one of those comments, for fuck's sake," Anya observes, pointing in Lexa's general direction, before leaving forward and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you, my friend, are a walking lesbian cliché."

Lexa takes Anya's hand off her shoulder. "Can you please stop insulting my tragically conspicuous homosexuality?"

"Oh please," Anya scoffs. "I'm bisexual, I can say whatever I want."

"If my step actually faltered - which they don't - it would be because her comments are annoying, off-putting, unprofessional, inopportune, and... and inappropriate", she finishes lamely.

"And you fucking love them."

"I don't."

Anya leans back on her chair with an evil smirk, propping her feet on the table and crossing them at the ankles. Lexa tries to push them off to no avail.

"Legalities aside, it's very simple. Clarke has already said yes. I just recorded you saying yes."

Lexa sputters, "You what--"

"You're both legally bound now." Anya shrugs. "Look at it this way: it will be very educational. You'll finally learn how to make a girl come, and get paid for it. Sort of."

A beat of silence.

"Anya, are you aware that you say something at least vaguely criminal every five sentences? Something that could actually put you in prison?"

Anya clicks her tongue, sinking farther into her chair, and lowers her sunglasses to her eyes.

"I've got friends everywhere, Lex. Let's just say I've dipped more than my fingers in my fair share of pies, if you catch my drift." A second later, she lowers her sunglasses just enough to reveal her eyes. "That means my tongue. My tongue's been in a lot of pies, too."

Lexa doesn't doubt that for a second.

"What I need to know is," Anya adds, taking off her sunglasses and throwing them across the room, "will you dip your fingers in the porn pie?"

Like this conversation hasn't caused enough trauma for thirty lifetimes.

"If I say no, will you still give me back my vinyls?"

"Absolutely fucking not."

Lexa swallows, clenches her jaw, and thinks of all those lonely nights spent in the couch clutching her record player and sharing cookie dough ice cream with it, longing for long-gone times when she'd dance to the mellow voices of the likes Billy Ocean and Ella Fitzgerald.

"My answer is yes."

#that moodboard is way too serious for this lol #clexa #clexa au #clexa fic #clexa fanfiction #clexa fanfic #calmap #my fics #mine

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marveloussupernerd · 3 years

Text

Miss Trustfund Kid - Zen x Han!MC

Chapter 2 - Dinner Nerves

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Synopsis: The younger sister of Jumin Han. An actor and model who thought he wanted nothing to do with the family. But you’re... different. And he could actually picture a life with you? If he wasn’t such an asshole

You were pacing the conference room nonstop. A negotiation dinner? Just sitting down with Zen to sign the papers made you want to throw up. You weren’t good at this

But what were you going to do? Jaehee had made reservations for the nice restaurant nearby, you were all dressed, you had sent Zen the information...

Jumin knocked on the door to the room, making you jump visibly. “Did I scare you?” He asked, closing the door quietly behind him.

You buried your face in your hands. “I messed it up, Jumin. He didn’t sign. He wants to talk more about it tonight.”

Jumin sighed, leaning against the conference table. “He’s always difficult. I didn’t think he’d be so bad for you, though. I’m sorry.”

“I’ve never done a negotiation dinner. This is so out of my league.”

He glanced over at you, eyes scanning your features. “You’re really stressed, huh?”

You pouted. “I just don’t like feeling like I’ve let you and dad down.”

He sighed, pushing himself off the table and wrapping you into a hug. “You’re not letting us down. You want me to go instead? I’ll whip him into shape.”

“I wanna go... I really do. But I’m just incompetent. And I messed it up already. I think I’d be better staying back and doing other work.” You felt dejected, but you had messed this up enough already. You didn’t want to risk the deal falling through because of you.

“Okay. Don’t worry about it.” He looked down at you. “You did great. Don’t feel bad.”

“I’m sorry...” you apologized again. Jumin just gave you a soft smile and excused himself, having to get ready for his dinner.

You settled down and got back to work, trying to avoid thinking about the situation. Hours passed, you absolutely refusing to look at your phone and trying to absorb yourself into your work to forget about the whole situation.

A knock sounded on the door, much later. The office that had once been lit up by the blue sky, now was illuminated only by the moon and the flourescent ceiling lights. You glanced at your phone: 9:17. Then at the door. You were surprised to see the model back, waiting for your beckoning to come in.

You stood up to meet him by the door. “Hi, come on in. I’m sorry I skipped out on our dinner; to be honest, I’m not fully confident in the negotiation sort of thing.” You flashed him an apologetic smile.

He chuckled. “I’m sorry for making you panic. I thought I was being upfront, but sometimes I just can’t get my point acros. I was actually just trying to ask you to dinner.” He pulled a bag of food from behind his back, holding it out in front of him. “Have you eaten yet?”

Oh. You were an idiot. You felt heat rushing to your face: you were pretty bad at picking up on those sorts of signs, huh? “I’m so sorry!” You buried your face in your hands. “I’m so stupid. Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you.”

“Good.” He strolled over to the table, taking a seat next to the one you had been working at, laying out the burgers and French fries he had gotten. “It’s nothing like the place we were supposed to go to, but still.”

“You went there anyways!” You giggled, happily taking some of the fries.

“Yeah, but I got out of there as quickly as possible when I saw who I had to meet with. You sent Jumin after me? Really? I’m hurt.” He held his chest in fake pain.

You shrugged unapologetically. “Well, he’s the one who signed me up to do this, so it was his job to clean up my supposed mess.”

“I thought you were ghosting me.”

“No! I’m just really bad at picking up signals. My relationship and flirting life has been very dry,” you explained, looking down at your food, embarrassed to admit it.

“Really? But you seem so fun to be around.”

You shook your head. “People take one look at me and run for the hills. I can’t say I blame them though. Everyone thinks I’m stiff and intimidating and snobby.”

“You genuinely look like none of the above. You seem like a nice, beautiful, down to earth person.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” you grinned, unable to hide the smile on your face.

The room fell into a comfortable silence for a minute, the two of you focusing on your food. You decided to break it and get to know him better. “So, do you have any siblings?” Obviously you had one, that went without saying, but you wondered if he was an only child or if he had to share the spotlight too. You could see either case.

“I have an older brother, yeah, but I’m not really on good terms with my family...”

“That sucks. I’m sorry about that. Could I ask why?”

You were afraid of him shutting you down, but he just looked at you and smiled. “Well, they’re really well educated and they didn’t really support my dreams to be an actor, so...”

“Oh. My family’s chaotic and all but they’ve always supported my career goals, so that’s nice. I’m sorry your situation is so different.”

You finished up your food, throwing the empty containers into the bag and throwing it away.

“Thank you for bringing me food. Sorry I’m embarrassingly bad on picking up your cues earlier. It was really sweet of you to come see me,” you told him. Nobody had ever gone out of their way for you. They just wanted you for the status or the money — well, it was quite possible he was the same, but he didn’t feel like it. You hoped you were right.

“Of course.” He stood up from his spot. “Uh, now I’m always a gentleman, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m super attracted to you and I would love to give you a kiss good night.” His ears were tinted red at his own statement, but his eyes met yours, no fear or hesitation in them.

You giggled. He was just so cute and chivalrous? This was probably a bad decision. “Of course you can.”

He cupped your cheek, leaning in close. He smelled like peppermint. His nose brushed against yours, taking his time to place his lips on yours.

“Miss Han, I hate to interrupt, but you have a call on line one,” Jaehee stated, standing awkwardly in the doorway and rubbing her arm.

You jumped back from Zen. “Oh! Thank you!” Flustered, you went over to the desk and picked up the phone, sending an apologetic glance over to Zen.

“Hello,” you started the call, grabbing your notebook and planner just in case you needed it, “this is Y/N Han.”

“Hi! Sorry for the late call. This is James Amei from NovaTech. I was looking over our contract and found something we wanted to talk over.”

“Oh! It’s no problem. I’m working late as always anyways. We’ll get you in here as soon as possible to discuss...” you glanced up at Zen, who was still standing where you left him, a look on his face that you couldn’t quite read. “Uh, how’s Tuesday at 2:30?”

A pause. “That’s great. Thank you so much.”

“No problem!” You flipped through your book. “Have a great rest of your night, and tell Shannon I said hi!”

He bid you good night then hung up. You looked back over to Zen. “Sorry about that. The work never ends.”

He was still blank faced, staring at you. You looked down at your hands, trying to figure out what the issue was.

“Oh! I write down details about all the people I correspond with in my journal. It’s nice to recall little things about them, like his wife or whatever.”

Nope. That wasn’t it.

“Are you okay? Do you need a water?”

He blinked hard, then shook his head. “I’m... your his sister?”

“Huh?”

Oh. Jumin’s. You nodded your head. “I honestly thought you knew.”

He shook his head violently. “I didn’t know. I- God. I hate his guts. How can you two seem so different?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Well we have different moms. And we were raised different. He was raised as the heir to the company. I was just raised as... me.”

“You’re Miss Trustfund Kid?”

Uh. So maybe he wasn’t as amused by this as you thought he may be.

“...an argument could be made for that, yes. I didn’t realize you didn’t know, and I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

You were almost... offended? That the second he found out who you were his whole attitude took a shift. It sucked. This is how it always was though.

He ran a hand through his hair, his face looking far more tired than it did a few minutes ago. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude. I just- you’re his sister!?”

“Yup.”

“Like you two... played together as kids!?”

“Jumin didn’t really like children’s toys all that much.”

Zen frowned. “Of course he didn’t. But still. You grew up together?”

“Yes. He’s a few years older though.”

“You grew up with V?”

“Of course.”

Zen took a seat. “I just... wow. Wow.”

“You look like someone told you you have a week to live.”

He glanced at you, then pouted. “I’m just surprised.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “What? You don’t like me now? What’s so different, I have money?” You grinned. “I’m a college student getting my PhD, so I’m definitely no Jumin.”

“I just assumed you were going to be in the family business.”

You grinned, shaking your head. You were proud of paving your own path. “Nah. I’m in law and I want to be a professor.”

“You’re so badass.”

“You so hate that you like me.”

He stood from his chair, leaning forward to lock his lips with yours. It wasn’t the chivalrous, gentle sort of kiss that you were expecting a few moments ago, but it was just as good, maybe even better? He was a fury of emotions and passion and he was handsome and witty and amazing. Even if this was a bad idea, it was a great one.

Until a voice broke you out of your spell.

“What in God’s name are you doing to my sister?”

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @imatalossforwords lmk if you want to be added :)

#mystic messenger #mysme #zen #zen x reader #hyun ryu #x reader #Han!reader #Jumin han #mysme x reader #miss trustfund kid

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panda-noosh · 3 years

Note

If you’re accepting requests could you do a Draco Malfoy x Reader fake dating AU?

this has to be the stupidest thing you have ever done.

and you've done a lot of stupid things, which is why you were most surprised when draco malfoy asked you to join him at his parents annual christmas dinner.

pretending to be his date.

you said yes purely out of shock, not even giving yourself time to think the decision over. yes, draco was attractive, and you had known him since first year, but never before had he even showed the tiniest sign of being interested in you romantically. if anything, he showed the complete opposite, sneering at you any chance he got, trying to upstage you in every class possible.

but you said yes, and now you're standing in the malfoy manor, and you aren't sure what to do with your hands.

it's such a stupid thing to be wry of when you're surrounded by dark wizards, all of whom have probably been linked to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but it's the one thought running through your mind. do fancy, posh, rich wizards let their hands dangle by their sides, or do they fold them in front of them? do you go in for a handshake, or perhaps two kisses to the cheek? do you even say hello, or just scowl at them like how they seem to scowl at everyone?

"what are you doing?"

draco's voice startles you. you'd nearly forgotten he was there, standing by your side.

"nothing," you reply. "why? do i look weird?"

"you're flapping your hands about like you're trying to get lift-off."

you blink, awkwardly dropping your hands to your sides. but now they just feel too heavy, like anchors weighing you down, so you bring them back up to your front, try folding your fingers together like people do when they have lots of money and no sense of humour-

draco groans and grabs your hands, intertwining your fingers with his before you can protest.

"just hold onto me," he hisses, before a bright, fake smile flashes across his face. through your daze, you follow his line of sight to see narcissa malfoy stalking across the grand room dressed in all black, her hair pulled into a high up-do that looks like it needed some kind of spell to stay in place.

"mother!" malfoy exclaims. "how are you?"

"very well, dear, very well," narcissa replies, and you nearly melt at the smoothness of her voice. after listening to malfoy begrudgingly snap your name for years now, you had come to believe all malfoy's could speak only in snappy tones.

"glad to hear it," draco says, before turning to you. "mother, this is y/n. my date - the one i was telling you about."

narcissa's dark eyes land on you, and then it begins. you have to start performing now, because he's just introduced you as his date, and you're here to be his date.

you pull your shoulders back, grin and say, "nice to meet you!"

draco squeezes your hand, probably telling you to lower the chirpiness level a little bit.

you cough awkwardly and try again. "nice to meet you, ma'am. mrs malfoy. a lovely son you've got here."

narcissa raises a brow. "indeed. and i assume you're a slytherin?"

"yes, of course." you glance at malfoy. "slytherin supremacy, am i right?"

the words are like acid on your tongue, considering you're a gryffindor.

narcissa smiles, all tight lips and raised eyebrows. "yes. it's good to see draco has a little bit of common sense when it comes to who he courts."

you have to bite back a laugh; courts?

"well, what can i say?" draco chimes in. "there was just something about y/n here that. . . won me over!"

you can't help yourself. "it's the fact i'm better at quidditch than he is."

draco's hand tightens once again. "actually, i think it was that day you got a U in your transfiguration exam and you started crying when professor mcgonagall tried fixing the beak you'd given yourself."

"oh, no, i don't think that was it."

narcissa throws her hands up. "okay! well, you can tell us all about how you two fell in love when dinner is being served; i have other guests to greet. draco, kindly take y/n to your room until dinner is ready. i'm sure they must be exhausted after the days festivities."

draco nods before taking your arm and leading you through the sea of dark wizards, none of whom stop to say hello. you're kind of thankful for that, considering you have nothing to say to any of them; all your life, you have been told to stay away from the very people you are walking amongst, and you start feeling a little woozy.

draco leads you up a grand staircase to his bedroom, which is a surprisingly cosy room, with a single bed and a beanbag in the corner, painted emerald green. multiple quidditch posters are hung upon the wall, as well as a framed photo of some old man with the last name malfoy who looks as if he would step on a puppy if he had the chance.

you let go of draco's arm and wade into his room, running your fingers along the posters. "i didn't think you were allowed free will."

"ha ha," draco deadpans, closing the door. as soon as it's closed, he tugs his tie off and throws it to the floor, groaning in relief. "christ, i hated that."

you turn. "i did a brilliant job, i think. she'll be expecting you to propose to me pronto."

"you really had to bring up quidditch?"

you shrug. "i feel like i deserved that after telling her i'm in slytherin. i'm gonna have to do some grovelling to mcgonagall when i get back for that one."

draco rolls his eyes before flopping back on his bed. the springs creak beneath him, his long legs dangling off the edge. you stand in the corner, watching him with your arms folded; he really does look stressed out, with his white hair wild and the top buttons of his crisp black shirt unbuttoned, revealing a collarbone that has no right to grab so much attention from you, but does anyway.

he places his ringed hands over his eyes and says, "i just really hope this works."

"why?"

he looks over. "what?"

you step forward, wrapping your fingers around the black metal bed frame. "why is it so important that your parents think you have a partner?"

draco's cheeks burn red, and you know you've hit a point in the conversation where he is going to nuzzle back into his hidey-hole. you never questioned him when he asked you to do this, too overcome with excitement and confusion to do anything besides agree. now, however, you're here, in his room, and he looks genuinely distressed at the idea of this not working, and you're starting to wonder why.

"well?" you push. "i want to know."

draco rolls onto his stomach, buries his face in his pillow. "it doesn't matter."

"it does to me. i'm the one who's doing you a favour here."

"it's a stupid reason."

you flop on the bed next to him, face beside his own. he peaks an eye out from his pillow and narrows it.

"i want to hear it anyway." you poke his side. "tell me."

he sighs, rolling onto his back again, clearly restless. your shoulders brush, heads inches apart, and it would be so easy to elbow him in the cheek right now.

"my parents thought i was acting a little weird when i came home for half-term," he mumbles. "they were getting really worried, and finally my mother asked me if i was lovesick, and i just took the first excuse i could find and said yes."

you blink. "literally, only a malfoy would ask their son if he's acting weird because he's lovesick. what does that even mean?"

draco shrugs. "i went along with it the entire time, and finally just told them i had a partner back at school who i missed, and that was why i was acting weird. they believed it, and i've been in the lie ever since."

"wow," you breath. "so we've been technically dating ever since half-term?"

draco smiles sheepishly, which is answer enough.

you chuckle, staring at the ceiling. "so what was actually wrong with you?"

he pauses. "what?"

"well, you said you were acting weird. if you weren't lovesick, then what was the matter?"

again, even more silence.

you nudge his arm. "hey. don't just ignore me. that's rude."

"i was lovesick," he says, like he was trying to make that point obvious throughout the entire conversation. "that's why i was acting weird."

you stare at him, waiting for the punchline. you try to ignore the disappointment that slides around in your chest, the sudden urge to storm out. yes, draco is attractive, and he's a good friend, and maybe you're only here to test the waters, see if something really can come out of this, but you should have known better. this isn't some fairy tale. you're a gryffindor, and he's a slytherin, and that mix is just unheard of, completely disastrous.

"oh," you mumble, looking back at the ceiling. "that's. . . grim. who's the lucky person then?"

he stiffens.

"come on," you push. "you can tell me. i won't tell them, i promise. then i'll have to explain what we're doing here, and i'd rather keep this between us."

"you would?"

your head snaps to him. "you wouldn't?"

he shrugs. "well, i mean, if you wanted to tell people this was our arrangement, i wouldn't mind. i don't expect you to lie."

"draco, this entire thing is a lie. i'll be lying either way."

he purses his lips, and your heart thunders in your chest; this conversation is weird, and you don't like it, don't like the undertones to every sentence, the vagueness of it all. if he has something to say, you want him to just come out and say it, because you're not sure you can handle any more of this subtlety.

"so who is it?" you repeat, quieter this time.

he breathes in deeply, and then he reaches over and gently grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers in the same way he did downstairs when you thought all of this was just a bit of fun, that you were nothing more than a last resort.

"guess," he whispers.

you close your eyes, biting your lower lip. "i don't want to. i might be wrong."

"who do you think it is?" he rolls onto his side, pulling your hand to his chest. you refuse to open your eyes, refuse to look at him lest you break down completely. you've learned in your years at hogwarts not to get your hopes up for anything, not even something blindingly obvious. "y/n, tell me. who do you think it is?"

"crabbe?"

he chuckles, warm breath tickling your ear. "wrong."

"see, i told you i would get it wrong. i'm not good at-"

"it's you, y/n. you know it's you."

you exhale, slowly opening your eyes to meet his own. leaning on one elbow over you in the way he is, you can almost pretend you're back at hogwarts, not at the most uncomfortable place on planet earth in your opinion. you can almost pretend there are no dark wizards walking around downstairs, and that you and draco are just. . . together.

you bite your lip, eyes flicking down to his own, which suddenly seem so much more accessible. he catches your gaze and chuckles again, a noise that truly has the power to drive you insane if you let it.

he reaches over and runs his thumb along your lower lip. "do you want to kiss me?"

"i want you to kiss me," you reply, almost breathless.

he smirks. "why does everything have to be a competition with you?"

you shrug. "that's always how we've worked, isn't it?"

"yes, it is."

and then he kisses you, slow and delicate. he holds your chin between thumb and forefinger, but makes no attempt to guide you; he knows you're capable of doing this on your own. he wants to see what you do, what you're like when you're under his spell, and you can honestly say that you are, have been under his spell from the moment you started teasing each other back in first year.

so you kiss him back, slow and deliberate, letting him know that - to you - this is more than just some fake dating plan. this is real. this will continue once you leave this party, if only he wants it to.

and from the way he kisses you back, he wants it to continue.

#request #hp request #harry potter #draco malfoy

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Doppelganger" *Part 24*

Alright I REFUSE to make this story any longer, so the next chapter IS the finale, I swear to you.

This is just one more little loose end I wanted to throw in, maybe it'll come back around the epilogue. Who knows?! I know.

I would have started the "Wedding Day" here but I really wanted it to be it's own chapter, so this is kinda short and I'm not gonna lie if I have to I will make the last chapter 20 pages long to fit the ending in. That being said I have some stuff to do tomorrow night and work the next night so I may or may not split up writing the last chapter between those and post it late Sunday or Monday.

It's worth it I promise! I'll make it worth it.

Part 23

Finale!!

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

The next day Rafael asked you to come by his office once again, making you nervous. Especially when you showed up to the Mayor and a Lawyer to greet you along with Rafael.

“Pinguino,” Rafael smiled as he met you at the door with his arms open wide pulling you into a kiss.

“....More interviews?” You whispered as you eyed the two other men.

“Actually, they haven’t told me what they’re doing here yet,” Rafael whispered back as you both walked over to the men sitting at Rafael’s desk. Rafael pulled another chair around to his side so you could sit next to him. He had a feeling this would take a while.

“So...gentlemen,” Rafael cleared his throat. “What’s this about?”

“Well Barba it’s about your wedding,” The mayor replied.

“...Why am I not surprised..?” He shook his head with a laugh.

“Actually Mr. Barba I think you’ll find this visit different from others the mayor here has sprung on you thus far,” His lawyer answered.

“...And that would be because…?” Rafael raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Because Mr. Fenkell here says that I owe you financial compensation for all you’ve been doing for me,” The mayor replied rather gruffly as he crossed his arms like a petulant child being called into the principal’s office.

“...Excuse me?” Rafael looked at both of them with confusion.

“Well Mr. Barba, I’m surprised you haven’t either realized or brought up the fact that the situation that you’re in is called ‘quid pro quo’,” The lawyer explained.

“Yes I know what ‘quid pro quo’ is counselor, we went to the same law school,” Rafael snarked. “And I graduated with higher honors than you,”

“Barba I’m here trying to help you out, I don’t know why you’re lashing out at me,” The lawyer now crossed his arms.

“Baby,” You put a hand on his. “Just let the man talk,”

“Right,” He nodded reluctantly. “Go on,”

“Like I was saying,” Mr. Fenkell pulled out papers from his briefcase. “I assume you and your fiancée here have been going along with the Mayor’s requests for fear of losing your job, correct?”

“I mean, not mine per say,” Rafael shrugged. “THAT would be illegal,”

“Right,” Mr. Fenkell nodded. “But everything he’s done thus far involving you and your fiancé's likeness entitles you to royalties, and dues for services,”

“Well, that is true,” Rafael nodded. “I’ve been so preoccupied with everything else I haven’t even stopped to think--”

“Which is exactly why I’m here,” Mr. Fenkell cut him off. “I figured a competent lawyer like yourself would realize when all the dust settles, that you were indeed entitled to a sum of money, and would therefore sue the Mayor after the fact,”

“Wow, that’s a lot of assuming on your part sir,” You laughed softly. “You really think Rafael is that shit of a--”

“I mean he is right,” Rafael finished for you.

“...Or I’m just an idiot,” You muttered.

“No, baby you’re not an idiot,” Rafael took your hand. “But we are entitled--YOU are entitled for some kind of compensation for all that you’ve done for the mayor--for me,”

“I thought my compensation was getting to marry you,” You smiled sweetly.

“Aww,” Mr. Fenkell remarked, causing an eye roll from the mayor.

“Right so--” Mr. Fenkell began laying papers filled with legal jargon on the desk in front of you and Rafael.

“This contract states that once we settle on a number, you won’t try and collect more from the mayor with some random claim like ‘emotional distress’ during your wedding, or events thereafter due to all of this,”

“...Trauma?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “You think that after everything I went through, I would classify this as trauma?”

“I mean theoretically you could, Ms. Y/L/N,” He nodded. “The emotional stress of reliving your trauma and trying to plan a wedding while on display for the whole city must be taking a toll on you right now, is it not?”

“...Well it wasn’t until you said it like that,” You muttered.

“Dammit Maxwell I told you, they were perfectly fine with--” The mayor began to pitch a fit.

“Oh no no no,” Rafael wagged a finger at the mayor. “Just because she’s ignorant of the--”

“Excuse you?” You crossed your arms at Rafael’s condescending tone.

“I mean, just because she doesn’t realize or recognize the emotional stress she’s under doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have it, and doesn’t deserve compensation” He looked to you apologetically while he re-worded the statement. You gave him an approving nod.

“Right well this is what this is for--”

“And what kind of price tag have you put on my fiance's feelings, counselor?”

“Well if you’ll peruse the contract, counselor…” Mr. Fenkell pointed to the bottom of the paper.

“This contract blah blah blah, no further seeking monetary blah blah blah…” Rafael spoke out loud as he scanned the document. Then suddenly, his eyes widened and he stopped reading, looking at you then Mr. Fenkell then the Mayor.

“...A million dollars?” He raised his eyebrow, skeptical.

“...What?” You gasped.

“....Each,” He added with a smile as he handed you the paper. You didn’t know a lot of the words, but in plain black and white you read: “...In the form of one million dollars per plaintiff,”

“I’m sorry, WHAT?” You said louder than you intended, but that was insane.

“That’s insane,” You said out loud. “I don’t need that kind--”

“Baby,” Rafael stopped you and pulled you slightly away from the mayor and his lawyer. “I know that you get antsy when good things happen to you, but you deserve this,”

“For what?!” You hissed. “For taking a few photos? For letting a camera crew in a church? Rafael I just--”

“...But think of everything before that, carino,”

“What, Nevada? That--” You shook your head.

“Wasn’t your fault,” Rafael finished.

“...Well it wasn’t the mayor’s fault either, Raffi,” You nodded at the mayor.

“But he is exploiting you for it,” Rafael pointed out.

“....True,” You nodded.

“Excuse you two, but I--” The mayor began to rant again.

“And if I may add,” Mr. Fenkell jumped in. “While Mr. Barba was worried about his job, you also had reason to be worried about it as well. Being as he is your only means of support,”

“Right now,” You quickly added.

“....Right,” Mr. Fenkell gave you a side eye. “Currently,”

Clearly this douchebag thought what everyone else must be thinking. That you were just marrying Rafael for his money. So that you could be a ‘kept’ woman. Well, he was about to learn that was the furthest thing from the truth.

“Alright then,” You finally said. “Then I want my share to go to Rafael, if we’re going to be married it’s his anyway,”

“No no no no, Nuh-uh,” Rafael shook his head. “Your share is your share,”

“...But I don’t want you to think that I’ve got some... ‘escape money’,” You gave him a sad look.

“Escape money?” He laughed. “Baby I told you, I think the last thing I should be worried about is you leaving me,”

“....Also true,” You nodded with a soft smile. You sure as hell had not gotten this far working this hard to ‘get’ Rafael to just give him up. Ever.

“Okay then, do I tell you where I want the money to go or do I do it myself?” You asked Mr. Fenkell.

“...You already have plans for it?” Mr. Fenkell asked you. “...Didn’t you just say you didn’t want it? Why would you--”

“Just answer the question,” You said flatly.

“I mean Mr. Barba could just draw up the contracts and paperwork for you to transfer your funds wherever you--”

“But Mr. Barba is my husband, not my lawyer,” You cut him off. “...And I’d like to keep that way,” You looked over at who Rafael looked at you in confusion.

"Not Mixing business and pleasure," You smirked.

“Right,” Mr. Fenkell nodded as pulled out a legal pad and a pen. “Well I can make a list of where you want to divert the funds and we’ll go from there,”

“Okay,” You took a deep breath. “Well, first of all-- obviously,” You took Rafael’s hand. “I want to pay off the rest of my time at Julliard,”

“That’s unnecessary, carino--”

“Yeah I know you say that Rafael, but I was going there before I met you and it’s not your respon--”

“It’s already paid for, in full,” He spoke over you.

“...What?” You asked him with a breathy voice. When did he have time to do that?! WHY-wait.

“But I’m going to need an extra semester since I’m taking the rest of this one off,” You said softly as you glanced at the other two in shame. You still felt guilty about Rafael having to basically babysit you for the past few weeks.

“Yeah I figured that.” He nodded with a smile, stroking your cheek. “It’s all taken care of, carino,”

“...Alright fine then I want to pay it back,” You insisted.

“No,” He shook his head. “Absolutely not,”

“Rafael come on--”

“NO,” He repeated sternly. “I won’t take it,”

“....Alright, fine,” You rolled your eyes. “Then I want a chunk to go to abuela--”

“No I have them covered too,” He shook his head. “And they are definitely NOT your responsibility. And before you say next that you want it to go to Maria, she will never accept it. We're too proud of a people," He smiled teasingly.

“...Fine,” You sighed in frustration. “THEN I want a chunk of it to go to opening a drama center,” You crossed your arms and looked at Rafael. “Any objections to that, counselor?”

“...A drama center?” He looked at you curiously.

“Look,” You took both of his hands. “I know you couldn’t-- your mom didn’t want you---” You took another breath, trying to figure out exactly what to say. “...You had to give up your dream to take care of your family,”

“Carino…” He took your hand.

“And my parents, they spent all the money we had on dance lessons, acting lessons, all of it. On ME. Just so that I could live my dream,” You continued. “Kids should be able to dream their dreams without their parents having to worry about money to do so,”

“But...your dream, Y/N. You want to be on Broadway. How are you gonna fit--” He started to speak but you were nowhere near done with your speech.

“Baby my dream was selfish,” You shook your head. “I wanted to be famous for the wrong reasons. To be adored by the world, to be loved by everyone. But, now I know the only person’s love I care about, is yours,” You stroked his face.

“If I open this place then I can still use my talents as a teacher, helping kids like us. I told your mom that when I met you, you made me a better person, that you made me want to be better. I want that to be true. I need that to be true,” You finally finished with a small smile, tears lined Rafael’s eyes.

“You are the best person I know, mi amor,” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “I think the center is a great idea,”

“Good,” You smiled. “And….I want to name it the Y/L/N-Barba Drama Center,”

“....Well obviously after you,” He nodded.

“No,” You shook your head. “After you. And my parents. Because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have found you, and you gave me everything I’ve ever wanted,”

“I love you,” He beamed at you as he kissed you deeply.

“...And on that note,” You turned back to Mr. Fenkell who looked wildly uncomfortable by your little cutesy side conversation.

“I want the rest to be split between a savings account for me, and the other half into a trust,”

“A trust?” Mr. Fenkell asked as he wrote down your wishes.

“A trust for our children,” You smiled at Rafael. “My parents spent so much money so that I could live my dream. I think it’s only fair I do the same for them; especially when I have the means to do it,”

“See those redneck shithead Jersians have no idea what they’re talking about,” He pressed his forehead against yours. “You are not selfish, not at all,”

“Thanks to you,” You pressed your own forehead against his like a love head butt.

“....Okay, so is there anywhere else you’d like it to go, Ms. Y/N?” Mr. Fenkell said rather loudly, trying once again to remind you there were other people in the room. People who were not amused with your disgustingly cute conversations.

“Um, no I think that’s good,” You nodded.

“Split up mine the same way, Max,” Rafael added.

“Rafael you don’t need to--” You started to protest but he put a finger to your mouth.

“I have money,” He assured you. “I have enough money to take care of us for the rest of our lives. This money should go somewhere that represents the both of us, and our love,”

“Can we please for the love of God just end this, please?” The mayor groaned. “If I have to sit here and watch you word vomit your love all over this office, I might actually vomit,”

“Right,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Well gentlemen you know where to find us,” He grabbed the pen and signed one of the contracts then handed it to you and you did the same.

“Now if you’ll excuse us we’re going to ‘love vomit’ all over each other now,” He smirked as he handed back the papers. Mr. Fenkell and The mayor nodded as they walked out.

“Well, what do you want to do now?” Rafael wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“As tempting as that sounds, I have another request mi amor,” You played with the hair on the back of his knuckles with a soft voice.

“Anything for you pinguino,”

“Well I mean, you have some pull over there,” You nodded outside towards the courthouse that was attached to the DA's office by a hallway.

“...Why, do you need parking tickets dismissed or something? Did I agree to marry a felon?” He teased you.

“No,” You giggled. “But I would like to skip the ‘name changing’ line,” You pulled him closer as his smile grew bigger.

“I don’t think that’s what they call it, but I appreciate the sentiment,” He kissed you as you both walked towards the door of his office and out into the lobby.

“We’ll be back, Tommy,” He told his assistant.

“Right sir,” He nodded.

“This way to the ‘name changing line’, pinguino,” He smirked as you walked down the hall towards the courthouse.

------

--An Hour Later--

You and Rafael walked out of the courthouse and down the steps hand in hand as you pulled the two papers from his hands. One was a marriage license, and one was a form that was filled with boring legal jargon but at the bottom was printed: “Legal Name: Mrs. Y/F/N Barba,” with your new signature on the dotted line.

“Mrs. Rafael Barba,” You smiled as you looked at the paper.

“Oh no no no,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh. “That sounds like you’re my property, pinguino,”

“True,” You nodded with a teasing smile.

“...So why the sudden urgency to change your name, carino?” He asked as you walked down the street hand in hand. “Not that I’m complaining. I'd be lying if I said just looking at your name with my last name makes me giddy,”

“Giddy?” You gave him a look.

“Yeah, I said it. Giddy,” He laughed.

“...I don’t know, it was something that my therapist said,” You shrugged.

“...And what did she say?” He asked you skeptically.

“She said,” You sighed and pulled Rafael out of the flow of traffic of people.

“She said that women who don’t take their husband's last names had one foot out the door of the marriage before even going in,” You looked up at him with soft eyes. “And I don’t want you to think that I am any less than 100% sure of my love for you, and the rest of our lives together,”

“Well, first of all I’d like to see her marriage to divorce ratios based on that assumption,” He rolled his eyes. “And second-- I appreciate the sentiment baby, I really do. Just as long as you did it for you, and not because your therapist guilted you into it,”

“She didn’t,” You assured him. “I did this for me. For us,”

“Well then Mrs. Barba,” He took your hand once again with a huge smile. “Let’s grab some dinner, shall we?” He asked in a melodramatic, fancy tone.

“We shall, Mr. Barba,” You answered in the same tone, making both of you giggle like school kids.

Now all that was left to do was actually get married!

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanficton #raul esparza #doppelganger #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 277: Go Go Child Soldiers

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “hey guys I’m going to kill off Aizawa” and we were like “no you’re not” and he was like “watch me, I’m really gonna do it!!” and we were all “DO NOT” and he was all “okay okay geez.” I don’t know if he thinks he’s being cute or what, but we will probably have to have a little talk after this. Anyway, so other stuff that happened included the obligatory news copter showing up to record the carnage so that All Might and Eri can watch; Tomura activating some Approximately High End Noumus to serve as cannon fodder to distract all the hero extras; and Gran dropping off Kacchan and Deku a little ways away from the battle and being all “stay here”, which was IMMEDIATELY and PROFOUNDLY ignored as they just FLEW RIGHT BACK OVER TO THE BATTLE anyway to save Aizawa. Yep. Kacchan really wants to lose that quirk.

Today on BnHA: Tomura, Deku, Kacchan, and Endeavor all take turns flinging each other into the ground and launching fire and explosions and stuff, all of which is impressively violent and doesn’t really get anything accomplished. The grown-ups all collectively decide to shrug off Deku and Kacchan joining in on the fight as though they’re teenagers sneaking into an R-rated film as opposed to CHILDREN on a BATTLEFIELD, and I can’t help but feel like this very nonchalant decision will have some serious consequences! Tomura has a moment of self-awareness in which he’s all “is AFO possessing me lol” before deciding “NAH THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE” which, haha, okay. The chapter then ends with Mt. Lady unsettlingly taking on Gigantomachia ALL BY HERSELF??! which seems like a REALLY TERRIBLE IDEA?? and had better not result in anything bad happening to her though or I SWEAR TO GOD.

ooooooooh!

preview of the final battle, anyone? and I feel like this panel is deliberately drawn to resemble All Might and AFO’s iconic battle at Kamino as well, which ramps up the intensity all the more. very nice

and shout out to Aizawa for making this moment possible with his quirk! I have to assume this isn’t something we’re gonna get the chance to see too often moving forward, unless he decides to chaperone all future battles from here on out, which would be good for the kids but also very stressful for me

anyways, so... lol

it really is almost as though Gran asked them this question and then Deku was like “OOH! I KNOW!” and then just leaped into action to demonstrate. “this!! him getting ahold of me, right?? this would be so much worse.” good job Deku

although

he’s not wrong, though. dammit. I mean, I’ve already tacitly endorsed their involvement by approving of them saving Aizawa’s life. you know, for that brief span of time after Aizawa showed up and before we knew how powerful Tomura would still be even without his quirks, I really thought that Aizawa losing his own quirk was all but an inevitability. now, though, it kinda feels like they absolutely wouldn’t stand a chance without him?? hahaha

honestly it’s a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that the Child Soldiers That We All Agree Should Under No Circumstances Be A Part Of This War have so far a) saved Hawks’s life and b) now saved Aizawa’s, and by extension c) saved the entire world. I mean but don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me writing the HPSC any thank you cards any time soon

anyway now that I’ve said all that, watch Aizawa just immediately lose his fucking quirk right afterwards though. WE’LL SEE

...sigh

why is every last one of the pros so utterly goddamn useless. sorry, was that a bit harsh. I’ll try to phrase it more gently. what I meant to say was, why is every single non-Mirko adult person on this mission about as useful as a RoseArt crayon. why do they all SUCK so HARD. why are they BAD. bad!! they’re just bad!!!

anyways but back to Deku

I’m torn between SOBBING FREELY at this and banging my head against a wall lmao. help please my green son is so loving and brave and so tremendously stupid, just

this is true! and by the way though Deku, just remind me again, I spaced it out just now, what was the reason Tomura was out here to get ambushed by Aizawa and the others in the first place? he was after... something? one for... the road? one for the money? one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?? damn what was it

damn it Aizawa stop dumping your feels in the middle of my sarcastic rants

bro. I know, right?? listen I’m proud of him too don’t get me wrong! the unfortunate thing is though that right now he’s not just your student; he’s also -- and it’s not your fault you don’t know this yet though -- The Thing That Tomura Wants Right Now, On A Silver Platter. so yeah. hence why I am concerned

oop no time to talk though cuz my boys are doing a ~*~COMBO THING~*~ ooooooooh yeahhhhhhh

look at that. “okay Deku you just hold him there and try not to get shot.” truly dazzling teamwork there

LISTEN, YOU!!

THE DISRESPECT?? ooh man and look at his face. this is the happy reunion I’ve been waiting oh my god oh my god

LOL

YEAH HE CAN DO THAT NOW HAHA. while you were off getting all transcendent he was mastering his BLOOP now what huh take that

...sob he’s just yanking Deku along behind him as if he weighs nothing. it’s like that one fancomic of the entire Bakusquad trying to stop an angry Kirishima --

-- HOLY SHIT I SAID “WHOA” ALOUD

MEEP THAT’S CLOSE. whew. okay. breathe. breathe

OH IT’S YOU AGAIN

you guys, is it just me or has this entire battle so far just been one long loop of -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> Kacchan goes with -> Kacchan almost dies -> an adult intervenes at the last possible second -> Endeavor tries to fight Tomura -> Endeavor almost dies -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> repeat ad infinitum

anyway so Tomura’s actually going flying into the ground now. that probably came within a hair’s breath of actually nearly almost mildly hurting him! way to go guys keep it up!

and Endeavor’s now echoing a question which many fans have been asking these last few weeks, “where’s Shouto?” where indeed. off somewhere not being a dumbass like these two, one hopes. maybe sticking his arm down some Not Quite High Ends’ throats and making them hibernate

lord help us Tomura’s actually stopped fighting for two seconds to monologue. is this good or bad??

is this a deliberate tactic? are you trying to buy time?? I don’t like this lol. why did they stop fighting you now that they’ve finally almost sort of got an edge on you

wow we’re really just... letting the kids fight, huh

just letting them be right there in formation with Endeavor. no one stops to think “are there any actual adult people we could try and swap out in place of these two high school freshmen?” because they already know the answer is “no there are not” SIGH

EVEN AIZAWA OMG

AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?? “la la la we’re not gonna think about it.” goddammit I liked it when you guys were at least trying to pretend like the sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be here fdslkfjlk

anyway. for what it’s worth, at least we’ve got the only three people in the world who ever tried to surpass All Might standing up here ready to take on the guy whose strength and toughness is approximately the same as his. that’s something. I guess this really is our best shot

YES WE GET IT

“I GUESS IT CAN’T BE HELPED” should be the goddamn chapter title. either that or “SHRUG, CHILD SOLDIERS, I GUESS!!!”

anyway so he’s telling Deku and Kacchan not to ask for direction in one breath, and then giving them orders right away with the next

djsalfkj. welp. you heard him Kacchan. guard Deku no matter what. this will definitely end well

KLDSKFLKSHG MEANWHILE!!!

DON’T MIND HIM HE’S JUST POSSESSED BY A LITTLE BIT OF AFO-SOUL. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

oh man he actually looks freaked out??!

like he has no idea what happened just now. I’m sorry, up until this point were you thinking that having echo-y “wooooo... One for All... go get it~~” voices inside your head was perfectly normal?? lol boy he’s been playing you this whole time and he’s still playing you. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S EERIE DREAM WARNINGS. YOU GET POSSESSED

meanwhile!! both Deku and Tomura reacting at the same time! DO YOU BELIEVE ME THAT THEY SHARE A MENTAL LINK YET. hmm hmm hmm anyway

so now Tomura is straight up in denial!

sadly I’m growing more and more convinced that he’s wrong on all three accounts there. you may think it’s your power and your body...

and wait though, because this is the first time that the idea of him not being in control of his body has actually been brought up, isn’t it? so that’s a nice big red flag there! up until now the argument could be made that even if AFO’s will is manipulating Tomura from behind the scenes and influencing his decisions, there was nothing to indicate that AFO could potentially take over his entire body. but now that Tomura has brought it up as a possibility -- even if he’s in denial about it -- I’d say it’s not only possible, but extremely likely! so that’s a nice big thing looming on the horizon there

and it also in turn gives us a potential solution to the question of “how can this battle possibly end without all of the heroes dying and/or Tomura losing?” because one has to assume that Aizawa’s quirk is going to be taken out of the picture at some point, whether it’s because of him blinking at the wrong time or being shot with a bullet or what. at which point Tomura would basically become unstoppable again and be free to just destroy everything like he wants. but now this introduces the possibility of him potentially taking himself out of the picture for the time being. like if he realizes that he’s in danger of being outright possessed, I could see him leaving them for now and running off to go wage mental war with himself for a while, giving the heroes some time to regroup and lick their wounds. so that’s interesting to think about

holy shit!!

okay so just a couple of things I want to take note of here before we read on

“I don’t want to become like you” -- I think we can take this as confirmation that Tomura will fight against AFO if and when he realizes he’s being manipulated. his loyalty to him isn’t completely blind. so that could have some potentially huge implications moving forward

this image of Tomura being on the inside of AFO’s body, in what looks to be the same mental landscape from chapter 270, though. ...yeah. just who is really in charge, here

anyway so his next thought on page 11 is “I want to be even greater than you”, echoing Deku (and Kacchan’s) desire to be even greater than All Might, which is yet another nice parallel between them

and he’s basically telling the AFO voice inside him to shut up now, as if it will actually listen

yep. you want to go after One for All for your own deeply personal reasons. not following your master’s whims at all, nope. you are your own man

so now finally Gran is getting in on the action!

no idea why he want after the arm though. as if a broken arm ever stopped anyone in this fucking manga

OOOH NANA NAME DROP

???? um??? your dead grandma??? remember???!! don’t tell me you don’t at least recognize your own fucking last name there?? that is significant and don’t try to tell me otherwise! and in a chapter about you being rebellious and trying to defy AFO’s will, besides!!

holy shit

1. THE GRAN/TOSHINORI FATHER/SON FEELS I WASN’T READY!!, and 2. HOLY SHIT THIS OLD MAN IS RIPPED, THOUGH

AND HERE COMES ENDEAVOR NOW TO RUIN EVERYTHING SOMEHOW, PROBABLY

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FACE MEANS BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T A GOOD FACE I CAN TELL YOU THAT

OH NO SOMEHOW DEKU GOT INVOLVED AGAIN LOL

DIDN’T I TELL YOU IT WAS A NEVERENDING LOOP OF A FIGHT. SO NEXT UP IS KACCHAN JOINING IN AND THEN ALMOST DYING AGAIN

OH MY GOD

NEVER. ENDING. LOOP oh god oh god. next time don’t loudly shout “HE’S JUST THE BAIT” before launching your surprise attack you dingus!!

HOLY MOLY

OKAY BUT

I don’t know about you but I am hella impressed that he managed a blast like that without blowing his own fucking arm off

with the exception of that one time he got all excited and tried to vaporize Todoroki during the sports festival, we have almost never seen Katsuki go all out against anyone, and the possibility that we might be about to see it now is THRILLING. I AM THRILLED

NOW WE’RE CUTTING TO ENDEAVOR AND HE’S FLASHING BACK TO THE SHORT SPEECH ALL MIGHT GAVE HIM WAY BACK WHEN ABOUT THEM BEING DIFFERENT AND ABOUT HOW ENDEAVOR SHOULD FIND HIS OWN PATH RATHER THAN TRYING TO BE THE SAME KIND OF SYMBOL AS ALL MIGHT. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S BEING BROUGHT UP NOW BUT OH GOLLY!

(ETA: I guess it might be because Endeavor -- unlike All Might -- isn’t facing Tomura alone but is working together with the kids to do this combo? like it’s a teamwork thing? I don’t really know lol I’ll think on it some more.)

LOL WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING. lol everything is either being exploded or on fire

KFFLSLLK “MEANWHILE”?????

OH NO OH GOD

SIGHING OUT LOUD AGAIN!! not because I’m disappointed to cut away from the Kacchan Loses His Quirk Battle (in due time!!), but because this means that yet again I’m going to have to spend a chapter worrying about Horikoshi killing off one of the TWELVE remaining living female pro hero characters he has, of which one is a healer, another is retired and working as a secretary, yet another only seems to do TV commercials, yet another another currently has... I want to say two limbs?? but I’m not even sure anymore, and lastly two more yet anothers are currently WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN and MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. so if you’re counting, that’s a full HALF of what was already maybe only a fifth of the total pro hero population in general

all of which is to say that IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A FINGER ON MT. LADY I WILL FUCKING END YOU HORIKOSHI. we are NOT HAVING THAT. you hear me?? YOU CAN’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME DRAWING MIRKO ALL OVER THE PLACE AND BEING ALL “I FUCKING LOVE GIRL POWER” ONLY TO GO AND BE ALL “OH BUT I KILLED MT. LADY THOUGH WHOOPS”!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS AIN’T IT

sigh. and yet why do I have a very bad feeling about this. hopefully I’m just overreacting. please don’t sully this amazing arc!! MANGA GODS, I OFFER YOU THIS PRAYER

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incorrect-wow-quotes1 · 3 years

Text

Banshee Movie

Narrator: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a banshee should be able to fly. Its tendrils are too small to get its fat tits off the ground. The banshee, of course, flies anyway because banshees don't care what the living think is impossible.

*Cut to Undercity*

Sylvanas: Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Purple, black. Ooh, black and purple! Yeah, let's shake it up a little.

Banshee Lireesa: Sylvanas! Breakfast is ready!

Sylvanas: Coming!

Val'kyr: *Starts vibrating*

Sylvanas: Oh, hang on a second.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass*

Sylvanas: Hello?

Val'kyr: *Opens mouth, causing Velonara's voice to pour forth*

Velonara: Sylvanas?

Sylvanas: Velonara?

Velonara: Can you believe this is happening?

Sylvanas: I can't believe it! I'll pick you up.

Sylvanas: *Slaps Val'kyr's ass again to hang up*

Sylvanas: *Sharpens claws*

Sylvanas: Lookin' sharp.

Sylvanas: *Flies downstairs*

Lireesa: Sylvanas, why don't you use the stairs? Your other mom paid good money for those.

Sylvanas: Sorry. I'm excited!

Lireesa but in a player 2 color scheme: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, comrade. And a perfect report card, all B's.

Lireesa 1: Very proud. *Touches Sylvanas' hair*

Sylvanas: Ma! I got a thing going here.

Lireesa: And you've got some lint in your hair.

Sylvanas: OW! That's me!

Lireesa 2: Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Sylvanas: Bye! *Flies off* Sylvanas: Hey Velonara! Velonara: Hey Sylvanas! Is that hair gel? Sylvanas: A little. It's a special day, finally graduating. Velonara: Never thought I’d make it. Sylvanas: Yeah, three centuries grade school, three centuries high school. Velonara: Those were so awkward... Sylvanas: Three centuries college. I'm glad I took off one century in the middle and just hitchhiked around the Undercity. Velonara: You did come back different. *A banshee calls out as they fly past* Banshee: Hi, Sylvanas. Sylvanas: Hey Anya. Shaving your head? Looks good. Velonara: Hey did you hear about Aeriel? Sylvanas: Yeah. Velonara: You going to her funeral? Sylvanas: No, I'm not goin' to her funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. She was such a hothead. Velonara: Yeah, I guess she could have just gotten out of the way. Sylvanas and Velonara: *Both make banshee screams as they turn a corner* S and V: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Velonara: I love this incorporating an amusement park right into our regular day.

Sylvanas: I guess that’s why they say we don’t need a vacation. Sylvanas: Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. Sylvanas: Well Velonara, today, we are Dark Rangers. Velonara: We are! Sylvanas: Banshee Dark Rangers. Velonara: *Starts banshee screaming again* Sylvanas: *Joins in* Announcer: Students, faculty, distinguished banshees, please welcome Dean Blightcaller. Nathanos, the normal human: Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... 9:15! That concludes graduation ceremonies. Nathanos: And begins your career at Plaguex Industries! Sylvanas: Are we gonna pick our jobs today? Velonara: I heard it’s just orientation. Sylvanas: Huh. Woah! Heads up, here we go! Announcer: Keep your hands and tendrils inside the vehicle at all times. Mantenga sus manos y zarcillos dentro del tranvía en todo momento. Sylvanas: Wonder what it's going to be like? Velonara: A little scary. Sylvanas: *Starts banshee screaming again* Velonara: *Joins in* Banshee Vereesa, the tour guide: Welcome to Plaguex, a division of Plagusco and a part of the Geneva Group. Sylvanas: This is it! Velonara: Wow! Sylvanas: Wow! Vereesa: We know that you, as a banshee, have worked your whole unlife to get to the point where you can work for your whole unlife. Plague begins when our valiant apothecary cucks bring the slime to the Undercity. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive green glow you know as... Everyone: Plague! Velonara: That girl was hot. Sylvanas: She’s my sister! Velonara: Really? Sylvanas: Yes, we’re all sisters. Velonara: Right, you’re right. Vereesa: At Plaguex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of banshee existence. These banshees are stress-testing a new hood technology. Velonara: Ooh what do you think she makes? Sylvanas: Not enough. Vereesa: And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelmann! Sylvanas: Wow, what does that do? Vereesa: Catches that little strand of plague that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Velonara: Uh, uh, can anyone work on the Krelmann? Vereesa: Of course. Most banshee jobs are small ones. But banshees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your unlife. Sylvanas: The same job for the rest of your unlife? I didn’t know that. Velonara: What’s the difference? Sylvanas: Huh? Vereesa: And you'll be happy to know that banshees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. Wooh! Sylvanas: So you’ll just work us to true death? Vereesa: We’ll sure try! Everyone: *Laughs, which quickly descends into banshee screams* Velonara: Wow! That blew my mind? Sylvanas: "What's the difference?" Velonara, how could you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. Velonara: Well, I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. Sylvanas: But how could they never have told us that? Velonara: Sylvanas, why would you question anything? We're banshees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Azeroth. Sylvanas: Yeah, but Velonara, you ever think maybe things work a little too well around here? Velonara: Like what? Give me one example. Sylvanas: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Announcer: Please clear the gate. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Royal Apothecary Society on approach. Sylvanas: Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are apothecary cucks! Velonara: Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. Sylvanas: They know what it’s like outside the Undercity. Velonara: Yeah, but some of them don't come back. Really roided up apothecary: You guys did great! You're monsters! You're surface freaks! I love it! I love it! Sylvanas: I wonder where those guys have just been. Velonara: I don’t know. Sylvanas: Their day's not planned. Outside the Undercity, running around who knows where, doing who knows what. Velonara: You can't just decide one day to be an Apothecary Cuck. You have to be bred for that. Sylvanas: Right. Sylvanas: Look at that. That's more slime than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. Velonara: It's just a status symbol. I think banshees make too big a deal out of it. Sylvanas: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Ladies in the distance: *Banshee scream* Velonara: Those ladies? Aren't they our sisters too? Sylvanas: Distant. Distant. Lilian Voss: Look at these two. Lilian with a player 2 color scheme: A couple of City Sallies. Lilian 1: Let’s have some fun with them. Lady: It must be so dangerous being an apothecary cuck. Sylvanas: Oh, yeah. One time a worgen had me pinned up against a mushroom! He had one paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me back and forth across the face! Lady: Oh my! Sylvanas: I never thought I’d knock him out! Lady, to Velonara: And what were you doing during all this? Velonara: Obviously, I was trying to alert the authorities. Sylvanas: I can autograph that if you want. Lilian: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Sylvanas: Yeah. Gusty. Lilian: Yeah, we're gonna hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. Sylvanas: Six miles, huh? Velonara: Sylvanas! Sylvanas: It's a puddle jump for us, but, uh, maybe you're not up for it. Sylvanas: Maybe I am! Velonara: You are not. Lilian: We're going 0900 at the northern elevator. Velonara: Woah! Lilian: What do you think, screamer? Are you banshee enough? Sylvanas: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. *Later* Sylvanas: *Watches city from balcony* Lireesa 2: Hey, Plaguex! Sylvanas: Oh! Mom. You surprised me. Lireesa: Have you decided what you're interested in, comrade? Sylvanas: Well there’s a lot of choices. Lireesa: But you only get one. Sylvanas: Mom, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Lireesa: Comrade, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. Sylvanas: You know, mom, the more I think about it, the more I realize the plague field just isn’t right for me. Lireesa: And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a girl with tendrils. Sylvanas: Well, no... Lireesa: Lireesa! Your comrade’s not sure she wants to go into plague! Lireesa 1: Oh Sylvanas, you are so funny sometimes! Sylvanas: I’m not trying to be funny. Lireesa 2: You're not funny! You're going into plague. Our comrade, the stirrer! Lireesa 1: You're gonna be a stirrer? Lireesa 2: Wait til you see the sticks I have for you! Sylvanas: I could say anything right now. Sylvanas: I’m gonna get an Alliance tattoo! Lireesa 1: Oh, let's open some fresh plague and celebrate! Sylvanas: Maybe I’ll pierce my tongue. Lireesa 2: To plague! Sylvanas: Shave my head. Lireesa 1: So funny. Sylvanas: Shack up with a gnome. Get a gold tooth and start call everybody "dawg"! Lireesa 2: I’m so proud. *The next day* Velonara: I can't believe we're starting work today! Sylvanas: Today’s the day. Velonara: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Sylvanas: Yeah. Right. Nathanos the normal human: Slime counting, stunt banshee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Alina: Is it still available? Nathanos: Hang on. Two left! And ... one of them's yours! Congratulations! son, Step to the side, please. Alina: Yeah! Velonara: What’d you get? Alina: Picking the bones out! Velonara: Woah. Alina: That is stellar! Velonara: Wow! Nathanos: Couple of newbies? Velonara: Yes, sir! Our first day! And we are ready! Nathanos: Well, step up and make your choice. Velonara: Do you wanna go first? Sylvanas: Uh, no, you go. Velonara: Oh, my. What's available? Nathanos: Restroom attendant’s always taken, by me. Velonara: Any chance of getting on to the Krelmann, sir? Nathanos: Sure, you're on. Nathanos: Oh, I'm sorry, the Krelmann just closed out. Velonara: Oh. Nathanos: Wax monkey's always open. And the Krelmann just opened up again. Velonara: What happened? Nathanos: Well, whenever a banshee dies, that's an opening. See that? She's dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that's unlife! Velonara: Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna ball polisher, mite wrangler.... Sylvanas, what do you think I should... Sylvanas? Sylvanas! Lilian with a player 3 color scheme: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on outside the Scarlet Monastery... Val’kyr: *Vibrates* Sylvanas: *Slaps its ass* Velonara: What happened to you? Where are you? Sylvanas: I’m going out. Velonara: Out? Out where? Sylvanas: Out there! Velonara: Oh no. Sylvanas: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. Velonara: You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Sylvanas: Oh, another call coming in. Sylvanas: *Slaps val’kyr’s ass* Lilian 3: If anyone's feeling brave, there’s a Worgen outpost that gets some roses today. Sylvanas: Hey, guys. Lilian 1: Well look at that. Lilian 3: Hold it, comrade. Elevator’s restricted. Lilian 2: It's okay, Lilian. We're gonna take her up. Lilian with a player 4 color scheme: Yeah. Lilian 3: Really. Feeling lucky, are you? Crew banshee: Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. Lilian 3: Okay, you got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, forsaken cannot run around in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being thrown at us. Lilian's in a home because of it, just babbling like a goblin! Sylvanas: That’s awful. Lilian 3: And a reminder for you rookies, forsaken law number one, absolutely no talking to the living! All right, positions! *Everyone just, goes to stand on the elevator* Lilian 1: You ready for this, hot shot? Sylvanas: Yeah, yeah. Bring it on. Varok: YOU HAVE NO HONOR!!!!!!!!!!!! Varok: *Runs in and smashes up the movie set* Sylvanas: Oh for the love of... Great everyone, Undercity’s first ever movie production, and this happens! Sylvanas: I’ll be in my trailer. Varok, in the background: HONOR!!!!!! *smashes more stuff* Sylvanas: I should’ve stayed a night elf.

#read the ending #if nothing else #happy april fools #source: bee movie #sylvanas windrunner #dark ranger velonara #vereesa windrunner #lireesa windrunner #lilian voss #Nathanos Blightcaller #varok saurfang

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high-functioning-lokipath · 3 years

Text

SH - Sherlock & Greg Friendship - Prompt: How Greg and Sherlock First Met - Words: 1,637

A/N: Alrighty! So this written from Greg's POV. It's my personal headcannon of what Sherlock and Greg's first meeting might have been like. Please don't hate me if I got something wrong or if it's different than your ideas. Just my little thought. At the end of the story there is a little explanation of some of the references I made. See if you catch them 😜

I WILL ADD THIS: THERE IS DISCUSSION OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND INTENT. HOWEVER, NO HARM COMES UPON ANYONE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU FEEL YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED.

"Goodnight, Inspector," Donavon said, as we walked out to our respective cars.

"Good night, Sally," I replied. "Have any plans tonight?"

"Oh, nothing much," She replied with a smile. Anderson walked out and headed to his car too though I noticed he winked and waved at Sally as he passed by. "See you tomorrow," She told me. I nodded and got in my car. As I started my engine I saw Philip run back to her and hand her what seemed to be a key. I shook my head and pulled away. I didn't want to pry into the personal lives of anyone on my team but I made a mental note to keep an eye on those two.

"Oh, I'm exhausted," I groaned to myself as I drove home. I'd just received my promotion to Detective Inspector and the first case we'd gotten has proven to be more difficult than we expected. Deciding that my already distant wife wouldn't care if I was home another 15 minutes later, I pulled over for a smoke. The Waterloo Bridge was just up ahead so I got out for a little walk. As I walked up into the bridge I took out my cigarette and was just about to light it when someone spoke up.

"Those things will kill you."

"Who said that?" I called out, immediately pocketing my lighter and lowering my cigarette. Instinctively, my hand hovered near my holster.

"Nobody of import to you, Detective Inspector. I was just making an observation." I was speechless for a moment, surprised that whoever was talking knew who I was. Or at least what I was. My blood ran cold, though, when I finally spotted the illusive speaker.

"What are you doing over there?" I asked, attempting to keep my voice steady. I couldn't yet see his features but I could tell he was young, tall, skinny and had a head full of curly hair. The first thing I noticed, though, was that he was standing on the wrong side of the walkway railing.

"My plan was to jump," He stated plainly. I was quiet for a moment, surprised that he'd so easily admit such a thing. "Surprised I said it?" He asked, looking at me finally. I nodded and he smiled sadly. "No reason to lie to you. You're a smart man. You wouldn't have reached DI otherwise."

"How do you know that anyways?" I asked, walking up next to him, however remaining on the correct side of the railing.

"It was quite obvious. Your haircut implies your employment is of the upper blue-collar class which narrows the field considerably. Considering your age you couldn't be higher than Detective Inspector but no lower than Detective Sergeant. If you were still at Constable you would have quit. Also it was obvious from the fact you went for your gun when I spoke up. You're considerably tired, even for this late hour, meaning you probably were one of the last out. Though tired your gait shows a measure of excitement, pride, if you will. It couldn't be caused by anything at home. You stopped for a smoke on your way home and didn't light up in your car meaning your wife dislikes the habit. One of the reasons she's going to be leaving you, by the way. You certainly aren't expecting children any time soon so that would leave your job. You're excited about something that happened recently at your job. You're obviously exhausted from the case you've been trying to crack so that leaves one option. Promotion. I'd say at the beginning of this past week."

"Wow," I gasped. "You're quite good at that!"

"You're not angry?" He asked slowly, staring at me in surprise.

"Not at all."

"I just told you your wife was leaving you."

"I knew that," I chuckled. "She's been hinting at the matter for weeks. I've been trying to fix things but, with my new promotion, she seems more determined than ever."

"I see," He said, looking off down the river again. "Most people get quite upset with me."

"Well, perhaps depending on the situation it might not be welcome but I don't see what's so bad about it. You know," I said with a grin. "With your ability you'd make a fine DI yourself."

"Tried. Couldn't pass the psych eval," He whispered. "What you call an ability, they call a disability." I stayed quiet, waiting to see if he'd go on. "Doctors diagnosed me with Asperger's and ADHD.”

“Well that certainly shouldn't stop you! Have you considered becoming a private investigator?” He wrinkled his nose at the suggestion.

“I’m not a fan of that title.”

“Private detective?” I tried. He shook his head again. “I’ll think of something,” I said determandly.

“Why would you care?”

“You seem like a nice kid, I-”

“I’m not a kid, I'm 25,” He interrupted, causing me to chuckle lightly.

"Alright," I said, holding up my hands. "Young man. You seem like a nice young man. I want to help you out."

"Why?" He asked again, sounding awfully much like a 2 year old. "I grew up in the countryside with my parents and my older brother. I never had any friends in school. I’ve always been like this. It didn’t get any better when I went to uni. Everyone just made fun of me. Once I graduated, I moved in with my brother in the city. I worked with him for a few years but,” He paused. "Let's just say that didn't go well. I tried to live on my own but I couldn't pay rent because I wasn't able to hold down a job. No one could put up with me. My brother would send me money here and there but he stopped after a while when he found out I had gotten involved in other things."

"Drugs?" The young man nodded slowly. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be somewhere else in his mind. "You know I could have you arrested for that," I commented.

"You wouldn't," He replied. He turned his head and looked straight at me, his eyes more intense than anyone else's I'd ever met. "Besides," He continued, looking away again. "I've stopped."

"For now," I said. "You'll stop until you don't have anything to do and then your mind will get too loud, too busy, too noisy and you'll try to quiet it again."

"How-"

"My cousin," I stated simply. "And also myself in a way. These 'help' me with my stress." I held up my package of cigarettes.

"May I see them?" He asked, holding out his hand. I nodded and handed them over. He looked them over carefully and then threw them into the river.

"Oi! Why'd you do that?" With a smirk and quickly hopped back over the railing onto the walkway.

"Try this," He said, rolling up his sleeve and showing me a patch on his arm. "When I have an especially bad day I'll go up to 3 patches. But one would probably be enough for you."

"Alright, I'll give it a try." He smiled abit haughtily. "But," I added, causing his expression to falter. "Only if you promise to give the private, personal, whatever you want to call it, detective work a try."

"After consulting with you, Inspector, I suppose I could attempt to give this idiotic world another try."

"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Consulting Detective! That's what you can call yourself!" He furrowed his brow in thought before smiling slightly.

"I think that just might work. But who would I consult for?"

"Well, you could set up a website so people can send in cases. Perhaps post something about how you do your deductions. It might take awhile for you to get enough customers so perhaps I can arrange for you to take a look at some old cold cases. What do you think of that?"

"I-" He paused, looking away in embarrassment. "Thank you, Inspector."

"You're welcome. And call me Greg, hm? Or Lestrade if Greg is too hard to remember," I joked.

"Alright," He paused. "Graham," He added with a smirk. I laughed loudly and clapped his shoulder.

"Well, I have the feeling this is going to be the start of something very special for you. Who knows where this will take you or who you'll meet!" He nodded, corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile. "Why don't you stop by my office tomorrow afternoon? I can get you some cold cases and who knows, maybe you'll even crack the case I'm working on now!"

"Thank you," He replied, suddenly sounding very nervous.

"Look, I know people are going to judge you for who you are and what you do. I wish I could change that. But keep your chin up. One day you'll look back and be surprised where it got you. Be confident in yourself. That'll help a lot."

"Like this?" He asked, standing straighter and giving off a well practiced authoritative glare.

"Something like that," I replied. "Here. Try this." I reached for his coat collar and turned it up. "Perfect. Now you look like a real professional." He nodded sharply, keeping up his vaguely disinterested air.

"I've done this before," He admitted. I smiled and nodded.

"Me too. I think you'll be just fine." I smiled at him, happy I was able to save a life tonight instead of investigate a death. "Do you need a ride home?" I offered.

"That would be helpful," He admitted.

"Alright, then, Mr.," I paused, chuckling lightly. "You know, I never got your name."

"Sherlock Holmes," He replied. I smiled and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Sherlock." I paused for a moment, thinking. "Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE: A GUIDE

The key - Anderson is giving Sally a key to his apartment since they are having an affair. Not exactly a direct reference. Just a thought lol

Those things will kill you - I thought making that the first thing Sherlock said to Greg would have explained all the more so why Greg was so happy to see him again when he came back.

Sherlock's diagnosis - In one of the episodes (can't remember which, too lazy to look it up lol) John says Sherlock has Asperger's. One of my best friends has Asperger's and I've had other friends with ADHD. As a non-professional, I would say Sherlock definitely acts in harmony with those two disorders.

The patches - Greg was showing Sherlock his own patches in the first episode. Thought that was cute.

Graham - I personally think Sherlock has always known Greg's name and it's just an inside joke lol

So, if you noticed anything else, let me know! Please leave a comment (or two lol) if you liked it!!!!

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

#sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock imagine #sherlock fanfic #sherlock & greg #greg lestrade #di lestrade #papa lestrade

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