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#im so tired though so it's a low brain day meaning i do NOT want to take on big tasks like rearranging stuff for all new work but i
bunnyb34r · 1 year
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Felt bad ab taking 90 min to do ONE item (had to repackage robes, condense robes, condense jeans (rip me), and then stock the new item) UNTIL I realized that NetflixCoworker had spent most of that same time walking around and SWEEPING
Girl you were sweeping at 4am its 5:30am wtf?? Also matainence comes by with the broom around 6:30 so like why... just do one of the 7 pallets we got dropped
Then I spent an hour or so doing signs bc I had gone upfront for my sign for the new item and low and behold! There was like 20 clothing signs TwT thanks...
So I figured I should get them before we open, plus I like doing signs sggdgdgd I think it's fun
Anyway I feel a bit bad I only did the one pallet but she spent most of the morning doing nothing so obviously it doesnt bother her if we have many pallets on the floor after opening so whatever
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pedroshotwifey · 4 months
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Christmas Countdown Day 20 - Dave York
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Pairing: Dark!Dave York x afab!reader
Word count: 2.2k
Tags/Warnings: no use of y/n, dddne, this is not the darkest thing I've written, but it is the darkest I've posted. Non-con piv, non-con knife play, reader gets cut, blood as lube, spit kink, spit as lube, degrading nicknames, restraints, Dave is MEAN, multiple slaps, literal abuse, stockholm syndrome vibes? Stuff im forgetting
Summary: Dave comes home after a rough day to find out that you didn't do the one thing he asked for.
A/N: Y'all, I want to like this one so bad, but I just read over it and I didn't think it was as good as I anticipated. 😭 Maybe it's just because I know I wrote it, or maybe I'm just tired out of my mind. Idk, I'll try to read it in the morning. Anyways, please keep in mind that this is a DARK FIC. If you don't like it, don't read it.
****
You’re sitting on the couch, idly watching TV when Dave gets home. You smile brightly, jumping up from the sofa to greet him at the door, resisting the urge to cross your fingers in hopes that he’s in a good mood. 
You had pampered yourself today, making yourself look soft and pretty, your hair shiny and perfectly in place. You had slipped on a dress that he had brought home a week or so ago as a reward. He’d been so happy and kind that week, and you’d felt so special with the way he paid so much attention to you. 
You hope that he’ll do the same again when he sees you like this, all dolled up just for him. Though it’s a reward enough just to know when you have his approval. 
“Hey, baby,” you say tentatively as you peak your head into the doorway. 
Dave turns around to look at you as he takes off his coat, his expression blank as he takes in your appearance. Your smile falters, though you try to keep it up. His eyes are dark, his jaw set with a particular hint of annoyance. He’s had a bad day. 
Ignoring the part of your brain that screams at you to go hide, you step toward him slowly. He doesn’t move as you approach, just continues to watch as you gently undo his tie and hang it up on the rack next to his coat. 
The air is thick with tension around the two of you as you look into each other’s eyes. Where your gaze is hesitant, exposing the fact that you have to put effort into not cowering in his presence, his is hard, revealing the fact that he gains something from your submission. 
You try so hard not to be afraid of him anymore, but you just can’t help it sometimes. He’s good to you when you’re good, only mean when he says you’re not. The only problem is that he seems to decide when you’re acting good or bad, even if you’re on your best behavior. 
Because of this, you’re in a constant state of reluctance and worried anticipation. You never know when he’s going to snap again. 
“D-Dave?” you ask, breaking the silence. “Do you want to talk–” 
“Would you shut the fuck up for just one second?” He’s quick to interrupt as he shoves past you and into the kitchen. You close your eyes, gulping down the sudden disappointment that bubbles in your throat. 
That’s okay, though. You’ll brush it off. You’re probably just over-reacting again. 
You sigh and spin on your heel to follow him into the kitchen. 
“Are you hungry? I can make you something if you wan–”
“Christ, woman! Do you have a damn off switch? If I want something, I’ll fucking tell you I want it.” 
You reel back at his harsh words, not expecting them quite this early. You open your mouth to comply, but the warning look he gives you makes you shut it and nod instead.
He moves to the sink, rolling up his sleeves to wash his hands, when he stops abruptly in front of it. For a moment, you’re confused, but then you remember what you had forgotten to do today. Your eyes go wide and your stomach drops. 
“I ask you for one. fucking. thing,” Dave says, his back turned toward you. His voice makes you shudder, the tone much too low to mean anything good. He turns around now, fury in his eyes as he breaks under the last straw. 
“Useless goddamn bitch,” he slowly seethes, stalking toward you. Your breathing goes shallow, your body tingly as you watch him get closer, already knowing what's to come. 
You sink back, your ass hitting the floor as you scootch back until you hit the wall. You’re cowering, your body already shaking as you wrap your arms around your head and squeeze yourself into the tiniest ball possible. 
“Dave, please! I swear I didn’t mean to forget, IswearIswearIswear, please, I–”
You're cut off by your own scream as Dave yanks you up by your hair, your scalp stinging as strands rip from the force he uses to pull your face to his. You’re blubbering as he spits degrading remarks your way, far too panicked to hear everything he’s saying. 
You catch snippets here and there as you push against his chest, only serving to hurt your tender head more as he tightens his grip on your hair to keep you close. 
“Fucking dumb—can’t remember shit—Don’t even know why I keep you here—can’t even tell you to do the dishes–”
He just keeps going, every beration digging into your skin until you feel like you’re being coddled by razors. 
“D-Dave, Please–” you try to stop it, even though you know better. His hand comes down sharp across your cheek before you can even process it being raised. Your neck aches from the way it’s forced to the side, almost distracting you from the stinging pain coming from your reddening skin. 
You choke on a sob, your tears stopping momentarily from the shock. Through the ringing in your ears and the pain that spreads through your jaw, you register how your makeup has been messed up from your crying, and you almost want to laugh with how stupid of a thought that is. 
You don’t, of course, because Dave’s quickly pulling you back to reality with a firm hand on your chin, making you look into his eyes. Tears continue to run hot down your face as you let him move you, feeling too defeated at this point to try anything else. 
“You hear me, bitch?” He asks, giving your jaw a firm shake. You blink at him, forgetting at this point that you have the ability to speak at all. It’s not like he would hear you anyway. 
“Said I’m gonna get some fucking use out of you. Seems there’s only one thing a dumb whore like you is good for.” 
You just keep watching him, your expression fallen as you watch it happen. Again. What else can you do? It’s never helped to do anything else before. 
He snarls, clearly annoyed that you’re not giving him another reason to reprimand you. He stands to his full height, tossing you back to the floor as he does so. 
The back of your head knocks forcefully against the tile, and you feel your teeth rattle as the light above you starts to blur. You think faintly that you may want to move, but your body doesn’t want to comply. It’s not like you have anywhere to go. 
You settle for blankly watching Dave as he tugs his belt through the loops before unzipping himself. His eyes stay on you the entire time, and you think you whimper at some point because of the smirk on his face. 
You hate the way your tears run thinly into your hairline, settling there uncomfortably, but you can’t be bothered to wipe them away. You’re tired, you just want to disappear. Unfortunately, you know you can’t do that, so you settle for the next best thing—staying still and silent in hopes that you can block everything out, dissociate yourself somehow. 
Your body jolts as Dave kneels down in front of you, pulling your hips closer to him. You must have been watching the light again, lost in your hazy thoughts. A pathetic sob slips through your lips, and you taste blood as they open. You must have bit your bottom lip when you hit the floor—or maybe it was split from the slap. You don’t know. Don’t care at this point. You just want this to be over. 
Vaguely, you register that it hasn’t even started. 
“You just going to lay there?” Dave points out more than asks as he reaches for your panties. “You really are damn stupid. Must want this, fucking slut.” 
Your eyes close tightly as you feel your panties get ripped in half. 
He’s right, you are stupid. Only a stupid girl would let this happen. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 
The word repeats like a chant in your head, your eyelids tightening and your lips quivering. Your body shakes and shakes, it’s all it can do through the headache you’re starting to get from the screaming in your mind. 
Another harsh crack makes you gasp, trying pitifully to take a breath as you take in the fact that he just slapped you again. You feel it less this time, though you don’t know why. 
“Look at me,” he spits once your eyes are opened again. Hesitantly, you look into his eyes, trying with all your might to keep them open. It’s like a nightmare, and the only way you can escape is for you to shut your eyes. 
The only difference is that this is real, that even if you closed them, you would still be able to feel the way he notches himself at your entrance, still feel his threatening stare, still feel every ache and pain that he inflicts on your body. 
He grunts as he starts to shove his cock into your unprepared cunt, and your mouth falls open to squeal at the sudden burn between your legs. No sound comes out, your tongue thick and dry as sandpaper. 
He doesn’t stop you this time when your eyes screw shut in pain, your body squirming beneath him as you try to get away. Your fingers twitch, as if just now regaining the ability to move. 
Dave chuckles at you before pressing a hand to your abdomen and spitting onto your pussy, letting his saliva run down to where his cock is half-way disappeared inside of you. He repeats this action three times before there’s enough lubrication for him to slide the rest of the way in. 
“Tight little hole. All mine to ruin.” 
Dave grabs your face again, pinching your cheeks until you look at him through blurry eyes. As soon as they’re open, you can watch him spit on your face, already soaked from your own fluids. 
You heave, trying to control your breathing as he starts to rock in and out of you, keeping a firm grasp on your face. You need to let it happen, the sooner he gets what he wants, the sooner this is over. It needs to be over. Let it be over. 
His pace grows quicker and more harsh, a sob leaving you each time he punches into you with his thick cock. It hurts so much, always does when you’re dry like this. 
Suddenly, your arms are pulled above your head, Dave’s cock still shoved inside of you as he ties your wrists with the remnants of your panties. 
“I have something for you, slut,” Dave tells you, a tear slipping down your cheek as you keep trying to imagine yourself far away. 
That quickly becomes hard to do, because there’s suddenly a gross feeling coming from above your cunt and to the left. The feeling of your skin being sliced open. 
As soon as you realize what’s happening, a scream you didn’t know you had erupts from somewhere deep inside you. It’s full of an agonizing pain as your senses hone in on the way his pocket knife digs deeply. 
You know what he’s doing, what he’s threatened before. 
You know that the next time you look in the mirror, you’ll be able to see Dave York’s initials carved in front of your hip, deep enough to leave an ugly, jagged scar. 
Dave laughs as you scream and try to simultaneously move away and keep your body still. You don’t know what would be worse right now. 
It’s a white hot pain that courses through you as he moves on to the next letter, his movement sloppy from the way he still shallowly thrusts into you. The wetness of your blood dribbles down until it reaches his cock, making the glide easier yet as he pushes it back into you. 
He laughs even after your screaming stops, the shock taking over you and halting all reactions but the silent sobs that wrack your entire body. He pulls the knife away after a moment, after he’s sure he’s dragged the edge deep enough to be permanent.  
Your gaze focuses on the kitchen light again, and you can hear someone calling raspily for help. It’s weak and wet sounding, and you don’t quite understand where it’s coming from because you swear you’re not trying to say anything. 
“God damn,” Dave grits out. “Will you ever shut your whore mouth?” 
You suppose you do, because the sound stops, and the kitchen is filled with nothing but your whimpers and Dave’s moans. You can feel him getting close, the way he stutters and pulses. 
“Gonna come in this tight little pussy,” he grits, grinding himself down.
You don’t care what he’s going to do. You’d let him do anything to ensure that this will stop, that it won’t go on forever. You just want it to stop. 
You don’t realize he’s coming until he’s almost done. His seed stings as it hits your burning walls. 
You’ve stopped crying. Your throat’s dry, your eyes sting, your cheeks ache, your cunt throbs, your hips are littered with tender bruises, yet your mind is numb. 
Dave only lingers for a moment before he lifts off of you. He chuckles to himself as he says something, but you don’t think you could hear what even if you tried. Your hands fall limply away from each other as he uses his bloody pocket knife to cut away your restraints.
Your eyes close as he walks away, and you don’t try to open them again.
**** Thank you for reading, please lmk if you would like to join the countdown taglist <3
FOTJC: @arcanefox207 @redhotkitchen @magpiepills @exquisiteserotonin @sparklefarts38 @pink-whiskey-woman @youandmeand5bucks @legendary-pink-dot @for-a-longlongtime @secretelephanttattoo @morallyinept @beskarandblasters @tightjeansjavi @theywhowriteandknowthings @nerdieforpedro @maggiemayhemnj @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @ghostofaboy @joels-shitty-puns @elvinaa
WCC: @amyispxnk @melaninmommy @brittmb115 @mandoalorian @yorksgirl
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obiwhat · 2 years
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WHAT IS UP BESTIE I RETURN
Levi desperately chasing the drunk and numb feeling and actually goes straight to alcohol poisoning and never even got to taste the feeling of being drunk 😭 cuz Ackermans are just built ✨ different ✨
RAE IM FINALLY ANSWERING THIS IM SO SORRY LMAOOO life has been kicking mine ass
but i hope u enjoy what i whipped up for ya~~ i ADORE uuuuuu <333
Sentiment:
(warnings: spoilers for S.3, drinking obv, vomiting)
“Levi.” Hanji tried again, with little to no reaction. Levi’s head slumped over his palm. He looked drained from the movement, as his eyes trailed to the chilled window, not towards Hanji.
“How many have you had now?”
“I’m not drunk, Hanji. It doesn’t work. Never has…” His words trailed off, but he was not slurring, despite the collection of bottles lined up neatly by his boots. “Never worked on Kenny either. Though that didn’t slow him down.”
He took a larger bottle, one that was a dark burgundy in color and took a long pull of it. It was some sort of last ditch effort from Hanji’s perspective. They watched the alcohol miss his lips and trailed down the side of his neck, he didn’t seem to care. He wiped it with the back of his hand sluggishly.
The shutters of his window, only allowing a sliver of moonlight, rattling in the windy air.
“Levi.” Hanji began, but didn’t know what they could possibly say. “You know you can talk t—”
“What is there to talk about, Hanji? Fucking hell, everyone just wants to talk, talk, talk. You’re all the same,” he spit spitefully, “All those words mean nothing in the end.”
This wasn’t about them, Hanji knew that. Now, Levi was speaking almost exclusively about…
Erwin.
“I just want to know if you’re alright.”
“Well, then take a look.” Levi swung his arms out wide, giving them a good long look at his state. His shirt was unbuttoned and untucked, his eyes bloodshot and tired… God he looks exhausted.
Nearly a week had passed since that day and they were sure he hadn’t slept a wink. He was burning himself out on both ends.
“You need rest, Levi. Put down the bottle and let me help you to your room.”
“Help me? The fuck are you going to do to help me, Hanji? Huh?” He swung the bottle to his lips again, swallowed then waited for something, anything, to come of it. When nothing happened, he slammed it back on the wooden desk with a bang that made Hanji flinch. “You know? With all your brains, you really are fucking idiot sometimes.”
Hanji tried not to let it build up. They tried to hold back, to not let their exhaustion and repressed anger bubble. But it was futile.
“I’m an idiot? Oh, that’s fresh.”
“The fuck d’you mean by that?”
“Well which one of us chose to bring back a kid instead of our commander?”
Levi swallowed. He went pale, as if hearing the words aloud were just too much. It made this too real.
Hanji instantly regretted it. They wished they kept their big mouth shut. This was most certainly not the time to bring up Levi’s decision.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Levi.”
Hanji was tired too. They were under so much pressure to be a commander and… if they were honest, they had considered blaming that on Levi. It should be Erwin leading, not them.
But lashing out like that? At Levi, of all people? It wasn’t like them. Guilt filled their stomach like stones.
“No… No, you’re right,” his voice was frail, hollow. His head hung low.
“I’m not right. I don’t know why I said that. I’m tired Levi. We all are, okay? Let’s just go to bed.”
“I was being an asshole. I deserved it.” But the way he said it made Hanji’s skin chill. His eyes were vacant and cold yet guilt ridden, overwhelmed with guilt.
“Don’t…” Levi stood, leaning against the desk and picking up his bottles below him. “Don’t beat yourself up. You have every reason to resent me.”
“I don’t resent you, Levi. Being commander, the pressure of it… I'm just exhausted. I need you to be okay. You’re all I have left.” They looked at the floor, too ashamed to look towards Levi anymore. “I don’t resent you. Don’t say that.”
They heard a bottle tip on the desk, drawing their attention up again. The largest of the collective went rolling off the wooden surface and slammed with a sharp crack against the floor. Hanji jumped at the piercing sound.
Levi had his palms to the table, his face was pale as sweat dotted his forehead. He didn’t seem to notice the remaining alcohol coating his desk and reaching his sleeves. He blinked once, twice, then shook his head and squeezed his eyelids shut.
“What’s wrong?” Hanji finally asked, hesitantly approaching his desk. As they drew closer they could see the trembles coursing through their friend’s skin. “Levi. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” His words came through clenched teeth.
Hanji dared to reach towards him, they put a hand on Levi’s shivering shoulder and helped steady him.
“I feel…” He suddenly heaved in breaths, looking paler by the moment. Hanji’s heart started racing, their hand clenched tighter on his suit jacket. “Hanji I don’t… Hanji… I feel sick.”
“Sick?” Without missing a beat, they slapped a palm beneath his sweat ridden bangs. “You don’t feel warm. Actually, you feel really cold—”
“M-Move.” He shoved passed them, tripping over his legs as he reached out for the bin beside his desk. Huddled on the floor with it tightly pressed to his chest, Levi heaved.
“Oh.” Hanji peered down at him. “That kind of sick.”
Nothing came from Levi’s dry heaving. There were tears forming in the corner of his eyes when Hanji lowered themself to the ground. They put a soft hand on his back and started making slow circles.
“Fuck… I can’t… I hate… I hate t-this…”
“I know you do, clean freak. But you won’t feel better until you get it out.”
“S-Shut up. I’m not going to… I w-won’t…”
Just before he could finish his thought, Levi was sick several times in the bin clutched in his white knuckled grip. He swayed when he’d finished, relying on Hanji to keep him upright.
“Hey. Stay awake, Levi. You’re still looking pretty green.”
“Room’s… S-Spinnin’…” He blinked lazily, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused. “Wha… What’s…?”
“Levi?”
He lurched over the bin but not to vomit, he was falling. Hanji caught his shoulder and managed to scoop the bin off of his lap with their other hand before it could slip as well. In the process, Levi ended up sprawled on the floor with his face pressed to hardwood.
His breaths were raspy and shallow, like he could hardly breathe. Hanji was quick, they put down the bin and got to his side in a heartbeat, rattling Levi to try to wake him again.
“Come on, Shorty. You can’t sleep on the floor, okay?”
Was he drunk? Why hadn’t it hit him before?
Levi didn’t respond, aside from his harrowing breaths. Each one was getting farther apart from the last. His eyes were half lidded, but nearly rolled back in his skull.
He doesn’t get drunk. He said he never has. So what the hell is this?
“Levi. Levi, come on. Wake up, Levi!”
Hanji paused, their breath tightly held within their chest. They thought quickly, if Levi had never been able to get drunk before, maybe his body didn’t know its limit before reaching the level of alcohol poisoning. It was an insane theory but Levi was an insane specimen, and if he was on the verge of alcohol poisoning, there was only one option left. They would have to get rid of the alcohol.
All of it.
Without hesitating, Hanji put their fingers to Levi’s mouth, but before they could even go past his lips, Levi’s eyes went wide with revulsion and he pushed Hanji away, getting sick all over again, this time on the floor. Tears burned their way out of his eyes as he was sick over and over until he reverted back to dry heaves and short gasps.
“Fucking d’gusting… hands are… Dirty…”
Hanji couldn’t help but smirk awkwardly at that. It was relieving to hear that he was reacting as normal as possible even if that meant getting violently ill at the mere thought of their hands.
“How are ya feeling? Less on the verge of a coma?”
He whimpered quietly in between his wracking shivers. Levi seemed eager to look anywhere but in front of him where he’d been sick. His face was paler than they’d ever seen it.
“Alright, good to hear it. Let’s get you somewhere cleaner, alright?”
Hanji had to practically peel Levi to his feet. It was worthless to try to have him walk with legs like noodles below him. Painstakingly, they made it to the couch by his desk without Hanji dropping him.
They sighed, brushing the hair from Levi’s eyes. His face was a permanent grimace now, disgust clearly etched in his features.
“It’s okay. I’ll clean it. I’ll clean you up too, okay? Just stay put.”
It didn’t take long to find cleaning supplies in Levi’s storage closet, aside from miscellaneous weapons and stacks of organized, color coded files. They first thing they did was wet a rag and clean up Levi’s face. The cool water against his skin made him shiver more intensely and complain softly to Hanji between his clenched and clattering teeth.
“You’re trembling like a leaf, pal. Maybe… A blanket?” Levi responded to them with a shaky bob of his head, up and down. They looked around as Levi’s shivers only peaked in intensity. No blankets in the closet, none on the couch with him, of course the man wouldn’t allow himself such comforts. They tried not to roll their eyes.
Without any other choice, Hanji took his scouting cloak from where it hung on the coat rack. As they carried it over, Hanji stretched it to its full length.
This wasn’t Levi’s cloak.
No, it was much too large for him. It was tattered in places, sewn up with care in others. This was Erwin’s, without a doubt.
As soon as Hanji placed it over Levi’s shoulders, he clawed for its warmth and comfort like that of a starving animal pouncing on its prey. Devouring that warmth, Levi curled up on his side looking away from Hanji as they began cleaning the floor.
This man hadn’t given himself the comfort of a blanket for his office in the cold of winter, yet, he had taken a piece of his commander, a comfort beyond other comforts. And even so, it was a reminder of so much heart wrenching lost, it seemed tortuous for Levi to keep. It was a physical indication of a space to be filled, that never would be again. Never.
Once the floor was finally clean, Hanji made their way back over, kneeling beside Levi on the couch. His trembles were slowing in rhythm and his breathing seemed close enough to normal again. His condition was improving with the alcohol gone from his system. But he still won’t turn back to them.
“You kept it.”
There wasn’t much else Hanji could think to say. And Levi of course stayed quiet for a moment.
“‘Course…” Levi muttered finally. “Of c-course I did.”
“Your sentiment always manages to surprise me, Levi.”
They put a hand on his shoulder, rubbed it for what they would excuse for generating extra body heat. Really they just wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. Not really.
“Shut up, Four-Eyes.”
But he didn’t shoo their hand away as it continued to make comforting slow passes over his shoulder.
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sagendipity · 3 years
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hey i decided to rewrite everything that i am reposting so it is fresh and you guys aren't so bored. here's "karl realizing he's falling in love with you" that used to be a drabble based on an ask!
reminder: im sage i used to be notplanningshit until i accidentally deleted my old blog
info: karl x reader, gn!reader, fluff, no warnings!
realizing he's falling in love with you
objectively, karl loves everybody. not in the same ways, or to the same degree, but everyone he keeps around in his social circle he does love. he doesn’t entertain acquaintances he doesn’t-quite-like, or that one “friend” who he only sees in when he's with groups. he loves everyone he considers a friend, and that includes you.
that's probably why it takes him so long to realize that what he feels for you now is different from the glowing affection he’s felt since the first conversation the two of you had.
now, he's more likely to catch himself staring at you as you do mundane things, like brushing your hair, or fixing the bedspread. and he just can’t look away, because his eyes are too busy trying to take in everything in front of him, a love his brain can’t seem to capture- so he has to keep looking, keep trying. maybe he’s a little quieter around you because he wants to hear you talk- he always has, he’s always been interested in what you have to say, but now he just wants to hear your voice because it makes him happy; it makes his chest warm in a way that nothing has before. and so he hangs onto you, his chin resting atop one of your shoulders and arms low around your waist, as you wash dishes and explain a theory you’d learned about that day. he barely notices when you finish the dishes because he’s too busy trying to commit every single vocal inflection, every single amused huff, every single “like” and “but”, to permanent memory.
he really starts to notice when he catches himself leaning into your kisses more; when you kiss him on the forehead and he slings his arms around your waist to make you stay, even though it’d just been a passing gesture on your part. when you are laying with him, your nose buried in the warm skin of his neck, and you press a kiss to a freckle on his collarbone, he tightens his arms around you- and oh, man, you’re wearing one of his hoodies, and that really does something for whatever his ribcage is trying to keep contained (certainly not a heart, hearts shouldn’t feel so much). he drops his chin to rest in your tousled mess of hair, and his eyes are a little wet. why? he feels good, he feels amazing, and everything is so nice- it is, it’s just also… so much.
realizing that he’s falling in love with you would also mean he gets comfortable letting his guard down, being vulnerable, admitting when he’s tired and struggling without adding a “haha jk” to the end. he always thinks about how you bring this side of him out of the darkest depths that he’d previously condemned it to (when he realized that being vulnerable and open was not conducive to being popular and entertaining). this is a thing he thinks about a lot- how open he can be with you, without feeling like he’d done something he'd regret afterwards, because he knows for a fact he isn’t comfortable in that way with other people.
he knows he likes you, obviously- he’s dating you. but this is different and unique, and so nice it makes his chest burn in a way that is gutting but so overwhelmingly good. the final straw comes when he finishes up a late night alt stream, his bones aching from sheer exhaustion and eyes trying to close on their own, and he wanders to the bedroom, expecting to find you asleep-
and instead you’re sat on the edge of your shared bed, with two mugs on the bedside table next to you. you're wrapped in a knitted blanket, and wearing one of his hoodies, scrolling twitter while you wait for him. when he walks in you perk up, your own tired eyes brightening with excitement, and you let him walk right up to you so that he’s stood between your legs.
leaning down, he kisses your forehead and mumbles, “why aren’t you asleep?”
“i made us tea,” you say, leaning around to grab the mugs off of the nightstand. they're still steaming. “it'll help you sleep.”
there it is again- his eyes feel wetter. the back of his throat is tighter. he takes the mug in his hands, fingers curling around the ceramic. it's so warm- it smells good, sweet-, “did you add-?”
“honey? mhm.”
he sits down next to you on the edge of the bed, drawing his feet up so he can get comfy, and sips the tea. it's all he can do, other than cry.
the tea is good- of course it’s good, you made it for him.
while he’s trying to douse the raging inferno inside his ribs, you shift so you’re leaning heavily against his side, legs tucked to your chest and mug held near your lips. one hand drops down and fiddles with the hem of his sweater. there's a loose thread, you notice. you think about how you will fix it for him the next time you see it in the laundry basket.
and then karl realizes. oh.
“i love you, you know that?” he murmurs, slipping an arm around your shoulders, and smoothing his hand up and down your arm gently, just because you’re there, and you made him tea, and you’re wearing his hoodie, and you’re leaning against him like you trust him, and you waited up for him so you could go to bed together, and-.
“i love you too,” you whisper back, hiding your smile by taking another sip of tea.
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aetherarf · 3 years
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Hi hello i saw your requests are open!! And i dont know if this is allowed but can you do genshin boys caught cheating and they played it off and later on they started to regret what they did and when they found the reader, the reader is now happy or disappeared or idk ITS UP TO YOU TO DEICIDE HEHEHEHE IM SORRY I LOVE READING ANGST SM SO ITS OKAY IF YOU WONT TAKE IT !! YOUR WORKS ARE REALLY GREAT BTW!!! (more than great i mean *chefs kiss*)
Yes I've finally gotten to this one! I hope it's angsty enough for you 😘
[[ WARNING: CHEATING, NON-LETHAL INJURY, ALCOHOL ]]
[[ Summary: Kaeya, Childe, and Diluc end up cheating on their partner... They get caught, not by their partner, but someone else. As the days pass, they begin to regret it... only for their little secret to get back to their lover...
Note, Kaeya's is longest/wordiest cuz I didn't realize I should probably be a bit more brief... Kaeya favouritism lol.
Overall Word Count: 3'602 [rip me]
Kaeya Word Count: 1'841
Childe Word Count: 950
Diluc Word Count: 811 ]]
Kaeya
Distantly, he remembers an old saying from Crepus, in response to his question-- "Why do people drink so much?"
"Well... Alcohol doesn't solve anything, but it can make you forget questions you'd rather not think about."
He understood that as he got older. Why stress, and think about things he could not control? ... Well, maybe he should deal with them, but that's easier said than done when his entire life was on the line. Every night, in the tavern, he drank to forget. Not that he'd admit that to anyone.
And, somehow, he had forgotten more than he'd like to admit. On his lap, a beautiful woman, and he was tugged to a back closet of the Angel's Share. She tasted sweet, like wine and sugar. If it wasn't for an intruder, ( despite the fact that he was the one intruding into staff-only area ) he likely would have had a far better time, to completely lose himself in his inebriation.
"K-Kaeya!" Uh oh, as his vision focused, he could see Diluc's unmistakable silhouette, with that fluffy red hair and broad shoulders. "You," he pointed to the woman, "Out." The woman, not wanting to envoke the wrath of Sir Ragnvindr, running out immediately. But, Diluc didn't let Kaeya out, not that he was fighting to get out. Instead, he walked closer.
"What have you done?" he asked, voice low and full of rage. However, Kaeya could only smile,
"What do you mean, Master Ragnvindr?" He asked, all sly.
"You cheater," he snapped, "You do know that wasn't your partner? The one you swore yourself to? They were just looking for you, you know." He was nearly yelling, forcing his voice low...
And that, that idea, the realization of everything hit him harder than even the biggest bomb's that Klee had ever made. He... did.
"Look," The world was no longer warm an fuzzy, just a little shift away from his normal reality, everything crashing down. The thoughts that haunted him when you slept so peacefully in his arms, when he would see the knights laughing and smiling together, the ever-haunting knowledge that he was alone amongst them...
The way only you did not have that odd look in your eye, of wonder upon seeing something unique, or of something alien that terrified... You only looked at him as what he wished to be seen-a person.
And here he went, fucking it all up.
"Look," he said again, tears in his eye, "You, you can't tell anyone," He all but snapped at Diluc, who's eyes widened in shock, "I-I wouldn't tell if you did it, you have to do the same for me," he promised, desperately trying to think of what to do...
"Kaeya, this isn't about me, this is about you and-and them," Diluc didn't even need to say the name, "You're better than this, I won't tell, but only if you do."
Kaeya's brows furrowed, he wasn't used to feeling so... betrayed. Normally, it was expected, but this... but this was different! Wasn't it...?
"It has nothing to do with you, I... I can deal with it on my own, 'Luc." He insisted, straightening out his back. He was only a tiny bit taller than Diluc, but he wanted to hold it over him, to prove he wasn't going to let him use him over his... his mistake.
"Kaeya," his voice was... softer. Kaeya didn't want to hear this voice, this consoling voice. Not after everything, not... not like this!
"Fuck off, Diluc," he snapped, pushing him to the wall as he stormed out, "You made it clear you want nothing to do with me, don't try now. Not like this," he demanded, seeing Diluc look at him, eyes wide... shocked.
"Fine. Get out and don't come back." Diluc hissed, voice much lower, his eyes glazed over. Kaeya almost wanted to yell at him, to keep fighting... But, no, no, he didn't. He couldn't do that here, not when he was too desperate to figure out what to do, leaving through the front of Angel's Share, slamming the door behind him.
And he ran. He didn't know why, he wasn't headed home, but he just... he felt like he was running from his mistakes, the wind biting at his face, until he finally skidded into an alleyway, his back against the wall, his hand put up to his mouth, biting at the base of his thumb to stifle the sobs that wanted to burst from his chest. It hurt, oh, it hurt, but it felt... right, it felt like he should hurt, his teeth clasping harder onto his hand, tears rolling from his eye as he roughly breathed through his nostrils, his brain desperately trying to figure out what to do, what to say, what to think... But it all only ended up in a jumbled mess, of black and red and tears and crying.
He didn't know how long he sat there, but by the time he stopped biting his hand, it felt... hot, for some reason, and as he looked at his hand...
Red. Bite marks. His teeth had sunk in so deep, his skin was broken and reddened and bloody. He couldn't even feel the pain, like when the burning fire had turned to grey, dead embers... he felt nothing, his own bodily sensations distant in an odd way.
He doesn't even know why, but upon seeing his blood ooze from his flesh, he swing his fist towards the brick, hearing it clatter against it. He stared at his hand, pulling off his glove to stare, dazed, at his busted knuckles.
Holding his fist close to his chest, he finally walked home.
If I don't tell them, he thought, I can live with it. I've lived with worse. I live with worse.
He didn't want to.
But he did that-he cheated. He cheated on the one person that could make everything feel okay, like he never hurt anyone, like he wasn't from a distant corrupt land, like he wasn't the monster he was told to be.
Should he say it? Tell directly?
...
It wouldn't matter if he told immediately or in a week. He-he trusted you'd understand, he could... He could figure it out. He just, his brain was both sinking and floating, drunk yet sober, he wasn't in his own body right about now. He was somewhere gone, and he couldn't be making any decisions.
Shambling his way home, he opened the front door... And hesitated, listening. Looking. You weren't in eyeshot or earshot, so... He could wrap up his hand before he gave everything away, or at least, his temper tantrum of sorts. He rummaged around before finding that small first aide kit, cleaning the wounds of his own cause, and bandaged up his hand... for a second, he tensed, hearing your footsteps, but he opted to finish wrapping it before you could see.
"Kaeyaaa..." You whined, "You didn't come to bed..." You walked over, hugging him from the side, resting your head on him. How sweet you were, how cuddly... As though nothing happened.
"I'll come to bed in a minute," he said, "I just need to finish this real quick."
You peeked over to look at whatever he was messing with, and woke up in an instant, reaching over to his hand as he was tucking the end of the bandage away, so it wouldn't unravel so easily. "What happened?" You asked, tenderly holding his injured hand with both of yours.
"Nothing to be worried about," he reassured, trying to hide how his voice shook, "Just wanted to patch it up."
With one hand, you gently stroked his, and then lifted it to your mouth to give a loving kiss atop it. "Are you okay to come to bed?" You asked, still tired from the late hour.
"Of course," he wanted to kiss you, badly, but he refrained. You shouldn't, Kaeya, your mouth is dirty.
The two of you walked to bed, he undressing just enough to comfortably lie down...
Feeling how you snuggled up to him, sighing in such comfort now that he was home, and how you soon became a weight upon him as you sunk back into sleep...
However, he did not sleep that night. Or the next, or the next... Or the next.
Days, truly, passed. He did not sleep, he was not sleeping, Jean even scolded him for blacking out more than once, stunned when one second he was standing, and the next he was on the ground, no memory of having fallen, with the knights consoling him.
He started staying later, he had not gone back to the Angel's Share. Many mornings, he was not there when you woke. You knew he was busy, but... this was horrific.
Eventually, two weeks have passed. He steeled his nerves, and he was going to talk to you about it. He didn't want to live like this, with this guilt and agony upon the things he could not fix--but he could fix this. He could-he could make this better.
But, as he walked into your shared home... an eerie silence. As he looked around, it felt like... a lot was missing.
Everything that was missing, from simple objects placed about to pictures on the walls, were all yours. Of you.
Save for a single picture frame, with shattered glass, and a picture of him and you, smiling. It was one of the more coherent pictures the two of you had made.
Beside it, a note.
Dear Kaeya,
A woman came to me recently, telling me of you. Of how you kissed her, and nearly slept with her at the Angel's Share. She was unaware of the fact that you had a partner, and had finally found and confided in me about this.
I don't know what made you cheat on me like this, but worse still you've been avoiding me, and you wouldn't even tell me. If I knew... then we could have talked about it, we could have gotten counseling. We could have fixed this--fixed us. But you were gone.
I don't want to hear you say it, say that you don't love me or you don't want to be with me, so I left. I'm not in Mondstadt, I've gone to live with someone I can actually trust. Please don't look for me, I need time. Your lack of communication was enough to tell me you don't care enough to fix this.
Sincerely, Your former beloved.
Tears truckled down onto the paper, and he nearly crushed it in a single fist... But, no, he couldn't, he couldn't destroy the last connection he had to you, no matter how badly he wanted to rip out his eye, so he never had to look at it ever again. He collapsed the floor, the letter, and the framed picture falling to the ground, a broken, loud laughter rung through the house as tears fells down his face, maniacal in nature...
He wanted to be alone, and gone, for a long... long time.
Childe
Childe didn't understand the meaning of 'exclusive' as well. He loved you, dearly, but to him, love was a thing to be given more freely. Maybe it was just a lack of communication, or maybe he completely misunderstood your words, but with an old friend he slept with time and time again...
When Scaramouche saw him sending off his friend with a goodbye kiss, it being a casual commoditiy in his mind, only then did he get utterly chewed out for this.
"Are you a fucking idiot?" Scaramouche snarled at him, "You're not even shameful about this, you cheater." He snapped, as though he was truly angry for you, instead of just a generally very angry person. Childe shrugged.
"I wouldn't mind if they slept with someone else," he said casually, "Doesn't mean they love me any less, you know?"
Scaramouche tried to response, but he was simply flabberghasted. "Most people don't think that way, you airheaded moron."
Childe just laughed, brushing off the shorter harbinger, before walking off without a care.
But... in the end, the words got to him.
Maybe you didn't think that way? You two had spoken of marriage, a very possible reality that he was looking forward to... But, maybe there was a... culture clash, maybe? A clash of upbringings?
He found himself wondering these things at night, when you were snuggled up to him, unaware of the whirlwind of fear in his mind.
Silently, he resolved to simply stop--It would keep you happy, a little secret he didn't mind keeping. Maybe in many, many years, he'd mention it, but... he thought that was okay. That could be the last time he'd ever do something like that...
But, as he came home... You were sitting, waiting for him.
"Please, come sit down, Ajax," that morose tone, it made his heart ache... so he obeyed without question. You looked at him, face puffy and eyes red... "Tell me the truth," you asked, his heart sinking, "Did you cheat on me?"
He froze, but... "Y-yes, but-"
"I don't need an explanation," you admitted, a small, broken smile on your face, "I knew I wasn't loveable enough."
"Wait, no, no, that's not it at all-"
"No," you interrupted, "I don't need an explanation. I'll be out by tonight," you looked down at your lap, his heart shattering into even smaller pieces,
"Babe... please, please, let me explain, I'll never do it again-"
You stood,
"If you'd do it once, you'd do it again. Don't talk to me," you hesitated, "If you want me to be happy, don't look for me ever again."
He was trying to reach for you... but, he couldn't make himself grab you, not when you so delicately shied away...
Eventually, he gave up. No amount of fighting would stop you, and... and he... he couldn't keep seeing your pain as you cried for him to just leave you alone.
Was this love? The pain of another, the terror not of considering spending the rest of your life with them, but the terror of not spending the rest of your life with them?
Before he knew it, he was staring at a mirror, shards of glass in his fist, more than a few holes in the wall and a broken door, the shattered mirror distorting his expression...
Upon walking through the house, he saw that there was... it felt so empty, without your delicate touch and presence making it a place he lovingly called home.
"No," he whispered, hoping... were you here? Did you see... whatever he blacked out and did, the tantrum he did not remember? Did he, oh gods above, oh gods, he didn't hurt you, did he?
...
But he never got an opportunity to find out.
By the time he had sobered up from his tantrum... you were gone. Only a note, left behind, Don't look for me.
Because, you both knew, if he really wanted to find you, he could. He could capture you, trap you... hurt you.
But he didn't want any of that, as much as it hurt to have you away... to make you hate him anymore than you already did was enough to drive a man to near insanity.
Even after you had been gone, he would sit, whenever he was not forced to work, to fulfil his duties to the Tsaritsa... he would wait. He would cook your favourite dishes, read the books you liked, go to the places you enjoyed...
Only after weeks of this, did it hit him that you truly were never coming home. He knew that, but... but, somehow, his heart, his emotions hadn't caught up.
For a second time, he had destroyed your shared, no... his home.
It just wasn't home without you.
Unable to endure the idea of still being here, of a place where he had held you so many times, kissed you, loved you, and suddenly you were all but gone... He tried to do anything to avoid it, to avoid that demon that desperately tried to crawl out of him, threatening to burst from his chest.
Even the other Harbingers had noticed this, how... awful he had been, how he had lost himself. Even Scaramouche, the one most openly said to be the easiest to hate amongst them all, with an uncanny talent to bring even the most pacificistic souls to pure rage, had done well to stay his tongue, never kind, never sweet, but he would give him the isolation he craved, only speaking as much was necessary.
He didn't know what to do with himself, but whenever that happened... he'd just throw himself to the maws of death and, unluckily, crawl his way back out.
Diluc
Everything felt hot and fuzzy and...
Red.
Was red a feeling? His face was red, his body burned, and he could scarcely breathe, he definitely had accidentally drunk some alcohol, but for once, the effects of inebriation hit him. However, while he couldn't understand why people would devote their lives to this sensation, he could appreciate reality being distant, when he knew if he wasn't drunk, he would have spit up the wine and some extra blood, making it an even richer red color.
A warm feeling around his dick, he saw a pretty, if not distorted, face. It didn't take long for him to explode with sensation, his eyes shot wide... and a kiss pressed to his lips.
He almost chased that pretty face, only to see it disappear, he falling to his knees, rasping for air. Moments later, he felt hands on his shoulder's, shaking him. He shot his head up, seeing Kaeya looking at him in fear, and distantly, he heard his name...
"Diluc. Diluc. Diluc! Say something!"
Diluc stared at him, and opened his mouth to speak, but he only ended up jerking his head down, coughing into his elbow, seeing blood on his black coat... Kaeya noticed, too, frozen in shock.
"What happened?" he asked, his eye wide in shock.
"I..." Diluc rasped out, and his eyes widened in shock.
He realized what he had done.
He. He slept with someone who was most definitely not the one he had sworn himself to. Some-some random woman who was likely enchanted by the prospect of a rich man.
"Diluc!" Kaeya shouted, afraid, "What happened?"
Diluc shoved himself up, his hand on Kaeya's shoulder, already rushing to run out and all the way back to the Winery-but not before Kaeya grabbed him, stopping him, strength near equally matched.
"'Luc, I'm not letting you go anywhere until you-"
"I did," Diluc was still gasping for air, "I did something terrible." He admitted, with no small amount of pain.
"What did you do?" Kaeya asked, "Don't run, don't run, you're going to choke on your own blood-"
"No!" Diluc shouted, throwing Kaeya off his arm, running on pure adrenaline, even as his face was beet red, and his vision blurred.
But he needed to confess his sins, immediately, he needed to... now, now, now!
He heard Kaeya shout, but in the end, as he had to stop just to rasp for air again, the burn of alcohol still in his throat, he heard no shouting, nothing but the sound of his thundering heartbeats in his own ears.
Finally, he got to the Winery. You saw him, shocked, seeing his red face and how distressed he was, his hair nothing short of a fluffy mess.
"Diluc," you run over, he leaning on you, just to not collapse from the lack of air, "Diluc, what's wrong?"
"I-I..." He shuttered out, sucking in a breath, "I cheated on you."
You were reeling, "You-What?"
"I-I accidentally drank wine. I was drunk, I can't..." He was still heaving, "I can't breathe... I don't... I don't know what happened, but... She... a woman, she..."
He couldn't finish, but he didn't need to.
"You cheated on me and the first thing you did was come home and brag about it?" You asked, equal parts anguish and anger,
"No," he rasped, his knees buckling as the world tried to disappear on him, "I can't..." his hand went to his throat, "Wait..."
He didn't know what happened, but he only saw flashes after that--Your tears, his bloodied hands, you leaving.
And he was alone, on the ground, barely able to breathe, to think... to do anything.
You left him.
You were gone.
And, somehow, he wasn't mad at all. Having breathed long enough to move again, he stood... and he found the half-empty bottle of wine left on the table, the wine you adored so.
He grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it, feeling his throat and tongue swell, it crashing to the ground as he fell, unable to rasp even the slightest breaths,
I deserve this, he thought, I deserve this. This is all I deserve.
...
...?
For some reason, despite his better wishes, he woke up. He lay in bed, a cool, wet cloth over his forehead... his flesh burned, and his tongue was still swollen, he unable to wiggle it in his mouth. His breathing, still, was labored, but it seemed that he was still breathing, despite everything.
He watched as Adelinde cautiously walked over, looking down at his face, "... Master Diluc, are you alright?"
No, he wasn't, but he could not even sob and cry, for he could not breathe enough to do so.
A cruel twist of fate, but he was not deserving to cry, he was the one who hurt you. You did nothing but love him.
He didn't deserve anything right now.
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syubub · 3 years
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What makes BTS most vulnerable
Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!
I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.
Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
So so so so
First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!
Let's start with the group first
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So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.
All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?
I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.
The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)
Seokjin
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This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.
As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.
As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.
What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)
Yoongi
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????
Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?
Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?
Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.
As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.
Hoseok
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This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.
And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.
This exposes him to depression and doubt.
Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.
Namjoon
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Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.
So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.
So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?
Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?
As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.
As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Jimin
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Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.
How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.
As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.
Taehyung
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Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.
As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.
Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.
Jungkook
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So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.
How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.
The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.
Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.
With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.
The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?
For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?
As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!
~~~~~~~
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I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?
My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!
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arivederchu · 3 years
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general kaeya relationship hcs
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a/n: i really went off on this one huh
characters: kaeya alberich
cw: this is sfw + nsfw hcs! nsfw is under the cut!
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ugh this sexy mf where do i even stART
if you confess to him first before the start of your relationship, this cheeky man was like “I knew you’d come to me eventually~” pls what is wrong with him
very flirtatious and uses many, many pick up lines on you it’s insane
if you have a low self-confidence, he’ll use them even more, but with more sincerity so you can know how much he loves and appreciates you, even if he doesn’t always act like it, he cares about you very much and wants nothing more than your happiness, whatever it takes.
if you’re another knight like him or an independent vigilante like diluc, he’ll respect your choices regardless, however please let him accompany you on doing tasks like clearing out hilichurl camps
if you’re simply another citizen, he won’t mind either! of course, he’ll be a bit more protective since you aren’t exactly trained in fighting, but he’ll teach you some basic survival and fighting skills
kaeya will treat you like a queen 24/7
okay nvm maybe like 23/7- he’s the type to fight on hoards of hilichurls for you but refuses to get you your belongings from the other room 
pda is a must for him! hand-holding, forehead kisses (or full on makeout sessions), even occasionally grabbing your ass
of course he’s respectful though, if you don’t like pda then he won’t do those things, but at least let him hold your hand! 
do expect to go out drinking with him (if you do drink) at cat’s tail or angel’s share, sometimes even having to walk him home because he’s definitely going to trip over nothing if you don’t
or the other way around who knows
if you’re having any troubles regarding anyone in mondstadt (or all of teyvat), kaeya will definitely take care of them for you~
one way or another [shudders]
he introduces you to diluc one day and diluc 100% warns you to be careful around kaeya
it’s all good though diluc tolerates you a lot more than he does kaeya
small headcanon that whenever you two and kaeya are free for a longer amount of time, you travel to one of the other nations
your main destinations are usually liyue or fontaine, liyue has its gorgeous views and sights, along with the amazing food of course-- and fontaine for its so-called “true beauty and elegance” and it being the hub of culture and arts
(please note this is solely based off of in-game descriptions of fontaine)
and he’ll spoil you as much as you want anytime, whatever you want he will make sure he’s able to buy it assuming he’s not broke
i mean overall he just loves you, almost anything you could want or need he will provide for you to the best of his ability
NSFW under the cut - minors beware!
expect some sleepless nights because yk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
peg him please 
if you peg him he won’t hold back AT ALL on his moans, he’s so loud and it’s so hot
on to what turns him on, if he sees you being serious such as harshly scolding someone or you absolutely tearing someone apart (be it in a battle of brains or brawn), he will rail you into next week because it’s so hot
cockwarming punishments
he loves doing it in public, the thrill of getting caught feels so intense
especially at angel’s share where there’s usually quite a bit of people there, sometimes including diluc hey im all up for a threesome just hmu
and of course when you’re in public he’ll shift around a little causing you to whine while he continues to casually talk with other patrons at angel’s share
but don’t be mistaken he’s definitely a switch
loves to be dominant
but loves you being dominant over him just a lil bit more
back at it with the pegging, he loves it when you peg and degrade him, call him a little bitch and tease how he’s writhing from your cock and he will be WEAK
definitely has a mommy kink when you’re on top 
when he’s on top however, he can go smooth and gentle, more fitting into “making love”
meanwhile his rough pounding goes more under “fucking”
what can i say he’s freaky in bed no matter who’s on top
onto oral, he’s leaning more towards the receiving side, he loves tugging on your hair as 
his sex drive is H I G H
if yours is too, then all the better, it works out great for the both of you in the end
well, maybe not great for your sleep schedule but at that point it’s the least of your worries, right?
as for aftercare
it really depends on how exhausted the both of you are, if you’re still wide awake he’ll give you a full on bubble bath (or you both go into the shower which may or may not lead to shower sex)
he’ll massage you and help you with whatever you need, including getting food for you both
if you’re both tired however, you’ll just clean up or not clean up at all and go straight to cuddling then sleeping
thank you for coming to my ted talk
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had some fun writing this, i love kaeya so much, one of my faves <3
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fa-headhoncho · 3 years
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Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 3
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Bucky Barnes x Reader
Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.
Word Count: 2058
Reader: Female
Warning: parole officers? canon level violence, john walker
Author’s Note: im being lazy and not writing rn but i have a stock pile of fics so get ready for shitty posts :p
Masterlist
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
=====
Once you get onto the plane, you don’t hold back your emotions. The fight was enough but how Walker talked to Sam and Bucky on the car ride over sent you over the edge. You had to admit, the kid had good intentions but there was something about him that was off.
You don’t even wait for his private jet to lift off before turning to him and pinning him against the nearest wall. Your forearm was laying across his chest while the other was hovering over the knife clipped onto your hip. His managers and friend stand up, rushing to try to pry you off of him but he raises a hand to stop them. “Who the hell do you think you fucking are, huh?”
“Captain America.” He simply responds, looking at down you with a cocky smile. You let out a scoff, the audacity of this man. “Look, I didn’t know that you knew them.”
“Yes, you did.” You exclaim while your forearm digs into his chest, “You read my parole reports, it shows where I spend my time and who I talk to, Bucky and Sam being the main two who I interact with. They’re my friends and you’re using me as a pawn. Steve wouldn’t have done that, Captain America wouldn’t have done that.”
“You talk about looking up to him but you’re nothing like him. You throw around ‘brother’ like it means nothing, you have no idea what those two have gone through with Steve. You hold the shield like it’s a toy and using it to get what you want.” Your voice is menacing low and you knew if you still had your parole officer that he would be scolding you for it.
“Captain America stood up for the little guys but you’re just using it as a title, abusing it to act like the hero you tried to be before. You’re a fucking joke.” You release him and walk away. The air in the room felt tense as you plop down on the chair closest to the exit, furthest away from his management team who didn’t know what just happened.
“If you think I’m going to stand by your side after how you just treated my friends, you’re dead fucking wrong.” You shake your head and lean forward in your seat.
He lets out a chuckle, taking a step towards you with his hands fisted by his side. “You’re going to help me if I say you are. I say the words and you’re locked back in the goddamn cell where you belong. Remember who brought you here in the first place.”
“Hey, John, calm down.” Hoskins finally buds in. Walker scoffs and shakes his head, following him to join the rest of their team.
You shift your eyes to the floor, knowing he’s right. The power the government is giving their new Captain is a desperate attempt to give hope to those after the Blip. It’s going straight to his head and you knew it was going to get worse in the long run.
The rest of the flight is awkward. The tension never settling even if Walker acts like nothing just happened. Hoskins was keeping a close eye on you like you were going to bounce back to your Hydra days and take out everyone on the plane. To be fair, you wanted to but you weren’t stupid and you didn’t want to give him another reason to send you back.
Once the plane touches down, you’re out the door. The group was barely out of the seats before they could see you disappear into the airport. Haling a cab and taking it back to the apartment they were renting for you, changing out of your gear and plopping down onto the bed.
The events of the day finally collapse down onto you. This situation was going to be a lot harder than you originally thought. Walker explained it as just one mission to see where the Flag Smashers were taking the stolen vaccines and you would be on your way. “Free at last” to use his words but now you were roped in for the long haul.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the look of betrayal on Bucky’s face either. He had confided in you about how he felt about the new Captain and how lost he felt. If Steve wasn’t right about Sam then what the hell was wrong with Bucky?
Before you realize it, tears were streaming down your cheeks. You knew it was too early to try to reach out to them so you decide to give them time. They were still processing their interactions with the new Captain and the new information about the Flag Smashers being super-soldiers.
If you were going to have to work with Walker, you were going to have to figure out a plan. Racking your brain for ideas, one comes to mind that would be risky. It would be worth it, though. Staring up at the ceiling, you start strategizing a way you could pull this off. You were one of Hydra’s best agents so hopefully, this would be easy. After going against your original thought and shooting Sam a quick text, you slowly drift off asleep.
=====
Your leg bounces under the table as you stare at the clock above the door. It was half-past seven and the breakfast rush was winding down. The diner was slowly emptying, leaving a hand full of tables with families and friends enjoying their meal. The waitress comes up to your booth, standing there until you notice her.
“Ready to order yet, hun’?” The nice older lady questions, breaking your gaze from the entrance to her. You shake your head no before turning back to the door. She gives you a sad smile before looking down at her watch, “It’s been almost twenty minutes, sweetie, are you sure your friends are still coming?”
You nod quickly, no matter what kind of circumstances the two soldiers would never stand you up. Their hearts were too kind for that. “I was just a bit early, I’m kind of nervous.” You shyly admit, sending her a smile.
“Well, I’m bringing you something to eat at least,” She commands, you open your mouth to reject but she cuts you off, “on the house.” She gives you a firm look before walking off to the back.
Right as she disappears into the kitchen, the bell of the diner dings. Your head snaps to it and you can’t help the large smile that appears on your face at the sight of the duo walking in. The two immediately see you since you placed yourself right near the door.
Sam sends you back a smile while Bucky just eyes you down. You were wearing a simple sweater and pants while they were in their usual civilian gear, a ballcap and jacket. You couldn’t help but ogle at how good Bucky looked in the blue Hently you two bought when he first came to Brooklyn.
They slip into the booth, their broad figures barely fitting on the small seat. Sam elbows Bucky as he tries to get comfortable but he doesn’t acknowledge it.
“Morning.” You try to make conversation. “How was the rest of your day yesterday?”
“He got arrested.” Sam bluntly says making your jaw drop. “He missed his check-in with the shrink.”
“I told you not to tell her.” Bucky makes out through clenched teeth, he just shrugs in response. You go to scold him but he holds a steady hand out, “You can yell at me all you want later, what do you want? We don’t have much time.” Your heart drops with how aggressive he’s being towards you.
“I want to help you.” You announce, ignoring Bucky’s eye roll as he remembers who you’re working with. He goes to tell you off just like he told Walker but you start rambling before he could utter a word, “I know it’s not the ideal situation but Walker wants me on his team. If I could earn his trust and figure out what their plans are, I can report back to you two.”
“And how do we not know this is a setup?” Sam points out, leaning forward on the table as Bucky looks around the diner for any sign of said Captain America, “They could be listening right now, they still have you under lock and key.”
You gleam at the mention of that, realizing that you haven’t told them the good news. “Not anymore.” You extend your leg out from under the table for Bucky to see your naked ankle. “Walker pulled some strings to get me off my parole earlier.”
A look of realization comes across Sam’s face once he pieces everything together. He knew how mad you were about the new Captain America, how you helped him and Bucky against the Smashers instead of the other two, and how you didn’t know anything about Bucky getting arrested made sense.
“So, you made a deal with the devil.” Bucky snarkily questions, a look of disappointment on his face.
You let out a scoff at his words, “I did what I had to do, James. Not all of us were lucky enough to get pardoned.” You spit back, tired of how he was acting. “He tricked me, told me it was just one simple favor to repay him. Now, he wants me to be a part of his team to take down the Flag Smashers. Told me if I didn’t help that he would send me back to jail and it would reset everything I had accomplished in the last five years.”
Bucky’s eyes soften at your confession, hanging his head in embarrassment at his assumptions. The waitress comes up and sets the small plate of food down in front of you, giving an awkward smile to the boys before walking off.
You let out a sigh, feeling bad for yelling at him. He was being a dick but that didn’t mean you had to be one back to him. He was going through a lot and this was the last thing he needed.
Grabbing the fork, you stare down at the pancakes. “You don’t have to forgive me or anything but just understand where I’m coming from, please.”
They share a look as they silently communicate. Bucky narrows his eyes and Sam tilts his head at him. You look between them as you try to figure out what’s going on.
“I can’t read your mind, cyborg. Use your words.” Sam finally spits out then elbows him one more time, “Will you please scoot over? I’m suffocating over here!”
Bucky sighs and rolls his eyes at his friend. He gets up out of the booth and slips in next to you, using his larger form to push you closer to the window. Your eyes widen in surprise as he slings his arm to rest behind your head. He then takes the extra fork and stabs it into your hashbrowns.
Sam lets out an awe as he watches the two of you eat from your plate, “Don’t you two look so cute.”
“Shut up, Sam.” You both demand at the same time. He raises his hands up in defense, leaning back in the booth with a smug smile on his face. The two of you easily fall into conversation, catching up on things and giggling at the little jokes he was making. Suddenly, after a few moments of silence as the two of you enjoy the meal, you remember what Sam mentioned earlier.
Bucky lets out a little yelp when you send a swift smack to the back of his head, making the hashbrowns he was about to eat fall off his fork. “What the hell was that for?”
“For getting arrested, are you kidding me, James? Do you know what could’ve happened to you? I swear to God, James Buchanan Barnes, you will be the death of me—“ You continue to scold while Sam lets out a booming laugh. Mad at him for being so careless, you poke and prod at his chest but stop when you notice the expression on his face. Your heart can’t handle the way he pulls out his puppy dog eyes and his pouted lip. “Oh, don’t pull that shit with me.”
_____
untitled tfawts fic: @crowleysqueenofhell @mischiefmanaged71 @thewinterrbucky @lizajane3 @ahahafudge @spookycereal-s @a-girl-who-loves-disney @kittengirl998 @ sebby-staan
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2dmenenthusiast · 3 years
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I can't remember if I sent this to you already but could I request headcanons for aizawa, hizashi and Toshinori finding their s/o that has a chipmunk quirk that makes her fall into hibernation when it's too cold (kinda like tsu) but when the guys find her with her heart rate low and her breathing shallow maybe they freak a little bc she didn't tell them about that part of her quirk yet
omggggg this idea is literally so cute I got so excited when I first read it. Also thank you love for comin through with the requests, I really appreciate it! <3 I also hella struggled cuz like, what can someone with a chipmunk quirk do? Stuff their cheeks? Climb up trees? Also I legit forgot what a chipmunk even looked like I had to look it up lmaoooo im so dumb it hurts
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Aizawa is an intimidating fella, okay
So when you first told him about your quirk, you were lowkey embarrassed?
Like, here’s this grown-ass man with a badass quirk who is more than capable of taking down villains and defending himself, and here you are just-
🐿️
But you know what’s great about this man? He couldn’t give less of a shit about your quirk or anything like that. He strikes me as the type to care more about personality than anything else
concealing your quirk is fairly easy. People probably wouldn’t even know you had one if it wasn’t for the small fluffy ears popping out of the top of your head, and even then you could just cover them with a hat
But that doesn’t mean you don’t experience the effects of your own quirk just because it’s subtle
You have a mutant type quirk, so you experience certain things that actual chipmunks do
Sometimes you won’t even notice that you’re stuffing your cheeks to full capacity with whatever you’re eating before Aizawa has to cut you off and just be like
“y/n. Chew.”
Or when you’re rushing, you’re usually going so fast that Aizawa can barely even see you zooming from room to room
you can also get kinda skittish at times, your ears twitching whenever you hear a noise that sounds weird or out of place, and you’ll just look at Aizawa with wide eyes until he checks out what made a noise that he could barely hear
“y/n, it was just some kids outside.”
“Oh... sorry, Sho.”
he wants to be frustrated, but he knows it’s not your fault. And honestly? He finds you so cute that he can’t really stay mad at you
So he’ll just let out a huff before patting your head lovingly, grazing his fingers over your ears (Which he KNOWS are sensitive, that asshole)
Experiencing long periods of deep sleep is also a thing. You wouldn’t call it hibernation cuz you still have to do normal, everyday things, but there are times during the winter where you’ll sleep for a few days in a row and only get up to go to the bathroom or eat
And since you can’t actually burrow into the floor of your home, you usually make a blanket fort in the corner of your bedroom and stuff all of the pillows and blankets you can in there until it’s nice and warm, ready for you to bury yourself in
and you might’ve left that little part of your quirk out when you moved in together. whoops
So when Shouta comes home and sees the living room couch void of all of its pillows, he’s not expecting to walk into your shared bedroom and see you curled up in a blanket fort
he’s a bit curious at first, just kinda looking at you like “All right, I guess this is normal?”
and he’ll crouch down and kinda examine you for a bit before he eventually wonders if you’re even breathing? You’re burried under blankets, so he can’t really see your chest moving
eventually he’ll check and see that your breathing is abnormally slow and he kinda just... pauses and checks again to make sure he’s not going crazy.
and he wont deny that he kinda freaks out at first, his immediate thought being that he needs to get you out of there, but the second he grabs the blankets to pull them off of you he’s like wait... hold up.
then it all clicks
you’re a mutant with a chipmunk quirk...
c h i p m u n k
safe to say he’s relieved, so he just lets you be and goes about his day. 
When you wake up a few hours later to go to the bathroom, you come out of the bedroom with your clothes practically on backwards, rubbing at your eyes and stumbling past Aizawa like he’s not even there. And when you’re done, it’s right back to sleep you go
“Back to bed?” Aizawa would ask as he watches you with an amused smirk on his face
“Mhm.”
“Okay. Goodnight, y/n”
“Mm’night.
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Listen, when he first heard of your quirk, he thought it was the cutest shit ever
“Your quirk is Chipmunk?! That’s SOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE!”
No he’s legit your number one hype man. If you think your quirk is lame, he’s literally shouting at you how cool he thinks you are.
“You can stuff so much food in your mouth, y/n! And that’s pretty dope if you ask me! I’m totally jealous!”
speaking of food, he’ll just randomly ask you to shove as much as you can of one thing in your cheeks until they’re at full capacity.
“Hey y/n, think you can shove this whole pack of jumbo marshmallows in your cheeks?”
“But... I just bought those :(”
“I’ll buy you more, LET’S DO THIS!!!”
also asks you the dumbest questions omg. You don’t know if he’s genuinely curious or if he’s just doing it to piss you off
“So do you just eat nuts all day?”
“You’ve seen me eat, Hizashi. No.”
“Do you prefer to sleep in trees?”
“That would be extremely uncomfortable.”
“Ooh you’d probably be great frieds with Kamui Woods then.”
“Did you not hear what I just said?”
He also REALLY likes your ears. Like an unhealthy amount? Whenever you’re around he literally wont stop touching them and even tugs on them playfully until you’re swatting at his hands and telling him to go away
He can’t help that they’re so cute :(
so on a particuallry cold day in winter when he has to go to work at the school, he leaves your home while you’re sleeping, only to come home hours later to find you... still sleeping?
You haven’t moved an inch the entire time he’s been gone, so needless to say, he’s a litle concerned.
and when he checks to see if you��re still alive only to discover your heart rate is super slow, he’s A LOT concerned
His brain just goes to the most dramatic thing he can think of, which is that you’re in some weird coma and need to wake up
so rather than, i dont know, gently shaking you awake like a normal person, he grabs you buy your shoulders and starts shaking you violently while shouting your name loud as fuck
“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”
you literally wake up so violently, you sit right up and shove him off of you before asking what’s wrong with him, pretty sure you’ve officially gone deaf
He then explains that he thought you were in a coma or something cuz your heartbeat was so slow, and at that point you just roll your eyes because of course he would come up with this ridiculous conclusion
“Hizashi, my quirk is chipmunk and it’s a mutation quirk.”
He doesn’t even get what you’re getting at, just tilting his head in confusion as he squints at you.
“What do chipmunks do in the winter, babe?”
Cue more confused squinting
“Oh my god, they hibernate, you headass.”
it finally clicks and the look on his face makes it seem like he just learned the secret of the universe, and afterwards he’s going on about how cool that is while you just roll your eyes and lay back down to try and go back to sleep, bringing the blanket over your head to try and drown him out
He eventually gets the hint and leaves, but after a while, you kinda feel bad for blowing up on him. He was just concerned and didn’t fully understand your quirk
so letting out a huff, you pull the blanket down and call out his name, to which he immediately runs to you at the sound of, asking you what you need
you just wordlessly lift up the blanket to expose the empty side of the bed, and oh boy, the size of the grin he gets on his face is unmatched
immediately throws off his hero costume so that you can both be comfortable and jumps into bed with you, holding you impossibly close
you fall asleep in a matter of minutes while he just looks at you fondly, hand soothingly rubbing your back.
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Just like the other two, he finds you incredibly cute. Like mans is in love, okay?
everytime he sees your little ears twitch, he just gets the strongest urge to touch them, but he never does without your consent becuase he knows how sensitive they are.
“Uh... y/n, do you mind if I... touched your ears?” 
Baby probably feels so awkward asking ugh PLEASE REASSURE HIM
“Oh? Yeah, of course, Toshi. Knock yourself out.”
oooh he’s excited. He’ll be super gentle about it, just lightly grazing them with his fingers before gently rubbing them between his thumb and forefinger
and at that point you’re littlerally melting, practically falling into him because him caressing your ears like this feels absolutely amazing
When he sees how it’s affecting you, he immediately becomes a blushing mess and apologizes, but you just hug him and tell him it’s okay and that you liked it
yeah he definitely rubs your ears whenever you’re feeling stressed or anxious because it’s become a quick way to relax you
only when he does it though. If anyone else randomly touches your ears, you get kinda uncomfortable
Just because they don’t look human doesn’t mean they still weren’t a part of you, dammit
Anyways, one day when you’re waiting for Toshi to come back home, you’ve got yourself wrapped up like a burrito in your blanket, sitting on the couch as you watched tv
it had been snowing all day, but luckily Toshinori had turned up the thermostat before he left, remembering how you mentioned that you’re not a huge fan of the cold
unfortunately for you, the harsh weather had no trouble taking out the power, leaving you in the dark and the cold
it didn’t take long for the cold to start seeping in through the cracks in the windows, and you quickly began to grow tired before you inevitibly passed out on the couch, still wrapped tightly in your blanket
When Toshi gets home and sees you on the couch, his first reaction is “aw, how cute.”
but then when he comes up to you and starts calling out your name to try and wake you up and you just won’t, and then he notices how much your breathing has slowed down, he quickly growns concerened.
He’s not in full panic mode yet, but he’s getting there, and he’s quick to crouch down to your level and grab your shoulders to start shaking you to wake you up
which you do, blinking groggily at him like you weren’t just in full hibernation mode
“Oh... Hey, Toshi,” you mumble, and you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down so that you can nuzzle yourself into his warm chest
He’s not able to ask you about what happened to you before you’ve already fallen back asleep, and when the power comes back on a few minutes later, he does a quick google search on chipmunks and mutant quirks before putting two and two together
Now he’s thinking of all the ways he could make you something to burrow into during those especially cold winters
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sicjimin · 3 years
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Can uou write a part 2 to the Taekook fic you just released?? With Seokjin coming over to help them
A.N : i didn't know that anyone gonna want part 2 of that TT but thank you for requesting ! i hope u like it .. and this does justice to your expectations. i'm sorry if this is too far stretched out and just .. making the story pointless TT ((and Namjoon baby im sorry i didnt mean to neglect you:* ))
TW : emeto, mpreg
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Taehyung was on the verge of crying when someone chimed in from the door. He snapped his head when he heard Seokjin grunts and Namjoon rustling from the door as the older's hands look full with groceries.
"Jin-hyunggg", Taehyung almost cries, relief going through his body. Seokjin fastens his pace and plops himself to the couch as the younger diving his head to the older embrace. Namjoon smiles fondly at the sight, deciding to walk to the kitchen and placed their groceries that include medicine and ingredients for soup.
" Taehyung-ah, hey, calm down. Everything will be fine", Seokjin mumbles soothingly, running their hand through Taehyung's hair. The younger nodded slowly but still cling to him.
"What happened?", he asks once Taehyung seems to calm down for his little breakdown.
" I thought Jungkookie just had his usual morning sickness this morning. Like, it was a usual occurrence. His morning sickness is actually pretty bad", Taehyung starts, sniffling in between every word since the sight of Jungkook being sick flashing through his mind. "But then i gave him anti-emetic meds, the one that our doctor gave us if his morning sickness went pretty bad. He keeps complaining that he's dizzy but i thought that was only because he just throw up", Taehyung continues, tears coming back to his eyes again.
Namjoon comes out from the kitchen, settling himself beside the younger and rubbing his back too. Taehyung continues, " And then he just keeps throwing up. He can't keep anything down. He had tried to eat pancakes since he wants one .. maybe his craving i dont know, but he just keeps vomiting and now he had a fever .."
Seokjin frowns and rubs Taehyung's shoulder, " He'll be okay", he says calmly, trying to get the younger to believe it.
"I'm afraid something will happen to our baby too, since Jungkook can't keep anything down", Taehyung adds. Fiddling with hems of his sweater.
"He'll be just fine, we'll make sure of it, yeah?", Namjoon assures. Seokjin nods and let Taehyung nuzzle into his neck, wrapping an arm around his waist.
" Now let me check on Jungkookie, okay? You can catch some rest. You look tired", Seokjin says before getting up.
"But hyung-"
"No, You catch some sleep here with Joonie. I will take care of Jungkook. I don't want you to fall sick too"
Taehyung bites his lips and looks towards the floor, not knowing what to say or do right now. He was about to open his mouth when Namjoon beats him to it.
"Let him go Jin. It won't kill him", he says with a smile. Knowing fully that rest and sleep were the last thing on the younger mind.
Seokjin rolls his eyes, " Fine"
They walked up to the bedroom, opening the door as quietly as they can. They saw a mess inside the room but Seokjin couldn't find it in himself to even nag at it when Jungkook looks pale, lying there on his bed with his eyes closed, obviously not feeling well.
He was wearing oversized sweatpants and a shirt that's big enough to cover the whole top half of his body.
He sits slowly on the edge of the bed, brushing his palms through Jungkook's sweaty forehead, making the younger stirring a bit.
"Hyungie?", he slurs groggily, still struggling to open his eyes to see Seokjin.
" Jin hyung? You're here?"
"Hey babe, how are you feeling?"
"Horrible hyung ..", Jungkook whispers, reaching out with one hand, wanting comfort. Seokjin quickly took the hand and held it close, smiling warmly.
"Have you eat anything?"
"Not really.. i've eaten some food, but it doesn't help much.. nausea doesn't stop..", Jungkook answers, shivering as he spoke with a raspy voice.
Seokjin sighs, knowing that this must have been hell for poor Jungkook.
"I will make you soup, okay? I think your medicine has worn off"
Jungkook nuzzled himself deeper to the pillow, "It's useless hyung .. i will just throw it back up", he whines.
"It'll be fine, Jungkook. Just give it a try. Can you?"
"Okay," Jungkook replies softly, already feeling asleep again.
Turns out Seokjin was overestimated this condition. Jungkook was sicker than he thought as he watched the youngest retching the soup up not even an hour after he takes in.
"Tae, let's take him to hospital", Seokjin suggests after watching his dongsaeng for five minutes, watching how Jungkook's stomach working hard to expel anything.
" Dont .. hospital—", Jungkook chokes in between heaves before trying to speak again. "Please.. no hospital.. I'm fine."
"No, Jungkook. I agree with hyung, you didn't have anything down. Please for our baby? They must be hungry too", Taehyung pleads.
Jungkook looks at him from his glassy and blurry eyes, letting himself slumped against Seokjin after he finished throwing up. He feels horrible. And the thought of had to go to the hospital just makes everything scarier.
" I'm scared hyung ...", he murmurs. He felt so weak, and doesn't have any strength to fight anymore. Seokjin holds him tightly and caresses his hair softly to make him feel better.
"I know baby. But this way you can recover quickly", Seokjin responds, "We need to go to the hospital, right? And I'm sure they'll take good care of you".
Seokjin stands, pulling Taehyung who stood beside him, and carries the youngest to the car, puts him in the passenger seat.
When they parked in front of the hospital, Jungkook hurriedly rushes to get out. Running around the car to get on the bushes on the side, and hunched over, letting thick saliva dangling from his mouth before it morphs into a gush of vomit.
"Kook!", he could hear his boyfriend and Seokjin rushing behind him, but he's too focused to look back at them, not even bothering to wipe off the spit from his lips. His vision was blurred, so everything looked blurry as well, but that didn't stop his body to shake violently, as he vomited his guts out. The sight of soup that Seokjin managed to make him eat, splattering as a puddle below him, just make his stomach clenched harder.
" Uurrkk-", he retches, feeling his bump jerked against his arms that clutching around it. He lets out a choked breath before he could throw up again.
He can hear Jin gasp behind him. He can almost feel his boyfriend's hand running through his hair as he holds him. Jungkook feels so warm, so so warm but his whole body is shivering as his fever seems to get worse. He can feel his cheeks burning hot and wet.
It takes all his willpower to stand still, so he did. Even though he felt like collapsing and throwing up again because of the dizziness and nausea, he took deep breaths, keeping himself from doing something stupid like throwing up again or passing out on the ground.
"Kook, hey, are you okay?", Seokjin asked worriedly after a while. Jungkook couldn't answer. He only shook his head slightly.
" I feel like throwing up again", he huffed trying to control his breathing. He's so warm, yet cold, and his head feels fuzzy and foggy.
"Lets get you inside, okay? So the doctor can check on you, baby", Taehyung said softly rubbing his back. Jungkook nodded as he let Taehyung guide him to the hospital.
Jungkook felt weak but he tried to keep it together. He didn't know what's going on around him. Everything just feels like a buzzing sound in his brain. His hand mindlessly keeps rubbing his bump, he's not sure why. He doesn't know if he does it for comfort or just to calm his baby bump down.
" They will call you in 20 minutes", Seokjin said as he joined him in the waiting room. Jungkook nods tiredly, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, taking some deep breaths, focusing on calming himself down and staying awake.
Taehyung kept on petting his back gently, looking worried. His eyes were glued at the door, waiting. Jungkook tries his best to smile at his boyfriend reassuringly and kiss his cheek.
"Hyungie .. i'm nauseous", Jungkook whispered. His eyes are heavy and his voice is hoarse. Taehyung looks at him, worriedly frowning.
" Do you want to puke?", Taehyung asks worriedly, rubbing circles on Jungkook's lower back. The younger shakes his head with a small nod, holding his bump tightly. "I don't think I have anything left to puke on.. but i'm nauseous", he said. Taehyung nodded understandingly as he looked at Jungkook for a moment. His heart breaks at seeing the younger like this. Seeing how pale and sweaty he is. It makes Taehyung sick.
After an agonizing 20 minutes, the doctor finally called their name. Taehyung immediately helps Jungkook to stand up and take few steps towards the doctor. Jungkook looks like he's about to fall at any second due to his low strength and low stamina. But Taehyung held him, and supports him as he walks to where the doctor is standing.
Some examinations later and they figured that it will be best for Jungkook to stay 2 days there, for observation and getting nutrition from IV as eating not seems like a good option.
Taehyung sighs deeply, looking at Jungkook that already dozing off in one of the hospital beds after Seokjin helped them to settle the administration.
Taehyung grabs one of his boyfriend's hands, running it with his thumb, " You're scaring me"
Jungkook glance at him, smiling weakly, "I'm sorry hyungie"
Taehyung leans his head on his hand that hold Jungkook's. He sighs heavily once more.
"Kookie, how are you feeling? You're scaring us, no wonder Taehyung was frantic when he called me", Seokjin said walking up next to Jungkook, placing the blanket of the patient on top of Jungkook's body gently as he strokes the younger's head. Taehyung hum in response. " I was worried"
Jungkook chuckles, "I feel better now, the IV makes me less nauseous. and i think my fever is starting going down"
Seokjin sighs relieved, "Good, that's good".
" I will check up on you again tomorrow okay? Namjoon must be hella bored at your apartment now", Seokjin laughs
"You're so mean for leaving him behind", Taehyung chuckles too. " He was asking to stay!", Seokjin exclaims.
"Get well soon, Kook-ah, and you too little one you're so strong", he adds, rubbing Jungkook's bump for a moment before ruffling Jungkook's and Taehyung's hair, " i'm leaving!"
Jungkook smiles as he waves Seokjin goodbye. Seokjin smiled back before turning around to leave.
"You will be fine Taehyung-ah?", Seokjin asks as Taehyung walked him to the front.
" I will hyung, thank you so much", Taehyung hugged Seokjin tightly. "Please visit again tomorrow if you're not busy"
"I will", Seokjin chuckled. Taehyung lets go of him and give him a tight hug before walking him out of the hospital. Taehyung waves him bye and watches him drive away. He stands there, alone for a while, thinking how thankful he is to have Seokjin by his side and caring to him and Jungkook. He actually dont know what might happen if Seokjin and Namjoon didn't come to help, maybe he already losing his mind. He shuddered at the thought.
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cowboysimp · 3 years
Note
Hey first of all I hope you have a nice day ^^ And I wanted to know if I could do a request ? Maybe a headcanon for Hanzo, Genji, Sombra, Lucio and Jesse I hope it's not too much, with a reader who is in the middle of an exam period and who is very stressful, spends her days and nights to revise their lessons, I would like to know how they would react to seeing their s/o like that if it's possible please. Maybe S/o can be female or gender neural? I thank you in advance for taking my request 🤗
I’m so sorry this took so long to come out- especially since exams are over for most people! But I hope everyone did really good on them and aren’t to stressed out by the outcome.
Format: Headcanons
Word count: 5161
Warnings: uh Exams??? School maybe dunno.
Hanzo:
Hanzo is no stranger to intense amounts of stress, though he’d also never encourage his partner to just stop studying. Repetition and practice is very important after all.
So he’d sit down with you and help you study for your exams even going so far as to form a study program for you. He’d spend as much time as possible helping you feel ready.
Hanzo does still understand the value of breaks and proper rest. So every forty five minutes you’d both take a small fifteen minute break. The break would most likely be used to do something physical like stretching to help calm your mind. He’d also sprinkle in a little bit of meditation to help ease the anxiety.
Something he definitely does not approve of thought is you staying up late into the night to study. You need rest having spent most of the day studying and revising. So at eight pm every night he’d make sure all school related things were put away and not mentioned again.
Honestly I wouldn’ put it past him to also set a mandatory bed time. Ten pm all electronics are off and by eleven the two of you should be sound asleep. An important part in keeping a healthy schedule is getting sleep.
While this may seem not very romantic to others you’ve been with Hanzo long enough to know his overbearing concern and hours spent helping you are exactly how he shows his love. He isn't much of a romantic mainly because of his reserved nature and tendency for self doubt, but he’ll always try for you and that’s what matters.
Genji:
As for Genji, throw everything that Hanzo did into the trash. (kinda- the brothers actually have some similar tendencies)
Genji’s first step is to get you unstressed. The serious stuff can come later. He’ll force you out of the house for a few hours taking you on a small date. He would take you to some of his favorite places like arcades or cute cafes, anywhere really that he can think of that would help with the stress.
Then once you got back home he’d sit down with you and have at it, he’s spent the day destressing you and now he’s going to attempt to help you study while keeping the same low stress levels.
Studying with him would be fun.
Genji is quite creative and would try to find different interests and a bit unorthodox ways of helping you study.
He would explain to you that odd things have a tendency to stick out in people's brains so why not make this a weird and memorable study session.
While his education was quite formal he always had a hard time picking up on what was being taught until his teachers would give up on their usual methods and begin thinking outside of the box to help him learn.
So he’d apply those same methods each time you studied together.
Same with Hanzo he wouldn’t let you stay up into the early hours of the morning instead forcing you into bed with him once he saw you getting too tired or frustrated to continue.
Night Time cuddles and quizzing would become routine for exams week.
Sombra:
Oh boy-
Olivia has no idea how to help, sure she’d try really hard but she’s never had a day of proper education in her life. She doesn’t understand a single topic to the extent needed to help.
But there’s no way that would stop her. She’d sit at her computer helping you by finding the answers to your question. Basically she’d turn into an answer checking machine.
That is really the only practical way she can help.
She’d force you to take breaks and bring you unhealthy snacks while you studied, and when she got annoyed and bored of not having your attention would just come and bother you for a casual makeout session.
Her actual reliability with helping would come when she got frustrated with feeling useless. She’d hack into the school database and find the test questions.
When you tell her the test randomizes the questions so out of those hundreds you’d probably only need to know fifty or so, she cussed to whatever god existed.
She wouldn’t let that stop her though going into the school mainframe to make it so that when your test came up specific questions would be on it.
So now you’d only have to memorize the questions on the test.
Yes that might be cheating, and yes it is slightly immoral but in the end it would definitely pay off.
Lucio:
Honestly im so sorry I can't really think of much for him-
What i do know though is that he’d make you a few study playlists to boost productivity and stock you up on snacks.
He’d give you shoulder massages when you finished studying to keep your shoulders from cramping and would go out of his way to do things around the house that you normally do to make sure you can focus and not stress too much over trivial things.
(once again sorry I genuinely couldn't think of much more-)
McCree:
Now Jesse isn’t stupid by any means, but the boy dropped out of highschool and didn’t pay attention a day he was there.
He has no idea what to do to help. Honestly him trying to help is probably more distracting then anything.
If you asked him a question about pretty much any subject he’d do his best to answer though honestly probably getting it wrong and making you both more confused.
After this happened a few times he was struck by genius.
He’d settle at the table right in front of you holding his own little notebook and request that you teach him.
You were of course quite skeptical, until he explained that the easiest way to learn is by teaching others right?
He had no idea what he was talking about and frankly neither did you, but you were desperate at this point so you might as well.
Explaining things to him was like a giant review, it helped you revise things you kept on forgetting and even helped figure out the errors you had been making in your work.
By the end of the first session McCree had gone brain dead because “Why in god’s name does anyone need to know this-” and no he won't take it’s a requirement to graduate as a good answer.
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nyan-koii · 3 years
Text
Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players
aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update
PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 
Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch
"Fck this game, i've had enough,"
"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"
Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"
"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"
His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see
"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"
Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far
"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"
"I think i get your fav character?"
"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"
"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"
Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long
"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"
"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"
"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"
"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"
"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"
!!!!
It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it
Type of player
Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner
Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month
"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully
He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!
He's very lucky. Very
Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.
'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'
'I want to be like him'
Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home
"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish
"not NOW!!" Clicks
The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.
Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.
"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"
He will be a c6 bennett haver!!
Type of player :
Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.
Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.
Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.
Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.
He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.
Everyone loves his teapot
Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real
"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"
"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"
"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"
"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"
'Bp?'
"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies
"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"
She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon
"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"
"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"
Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."
Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly
"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS
Type of player :
Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going
She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka
Ayaka main btw
Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out
Fragile resin = 0
Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon
"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"
"But i cant,"
Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there
Only coops if mitsuri is there
"So that someone can calm me down,"
"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"
Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.
"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"
"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"
"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"
"Oh yeah i know,"
"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"
"i just know right after you told me,"
"...."
Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something
"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"
"But the next banner is zhongli's,"
"....."
"Ah fuck it," buys
My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists
"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"
That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person
"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears
Type of player :
Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants
Zhongli main
Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it
"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"
Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it
Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs
Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.
"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"
His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it
They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately
Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears
"Zhongli main forever,"
Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.
Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.
"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"
"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"
Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit
"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"
"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"
In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team
"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems
"Tengen, you should control yourself!"
"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"
"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops
Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.
"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"
"Who do you main uzui?"
"Beidou,"
Type of player
Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs
R5 every battle pass weapon
Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff
Mona wanter
Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery
Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs
Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers
Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down
Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it
In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"
Doesnt heals his characters
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ushiwakaout · 3 years
Text
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parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader
warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU
a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!
Kozume Kenma
Match made in heaven
Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company
You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime
you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.
If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk
Always knock before you go into his little studio room
You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack 
but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you 
fake breakup video like the next day for trolling
Okaya anywho
if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?” 
you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.
“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers) 
you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies. 
everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works
SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words” 
you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos
you both stay up really late together
if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit
somehow kenma is the more productive one
you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma
you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma
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just to make extra cash you have and OF
most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk
a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex
theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming 
“Kenma can you help me for a second.”
“Hmm, what is it kitten?” 
He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe
Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on
He just smiles and spreads his legs for you
(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)
He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth. 
His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest
“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand 
He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck. 
“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”
(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)
sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again
he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted
he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.
Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.
you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft
mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh
Oikawa Tooru 
Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely
Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you
you hate how early he freaking wakes up
hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning 
there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud
if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own
doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat 
when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.” 
cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning
he’s so sweet
he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)
He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago. 
sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.
its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey”  *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning
after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets 
he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice 
You wear his stuff when he leaves
low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina
other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.
Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming
You’re popular on the female side of gamers 
sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum
Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo
You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home
you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.
hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend
if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game
You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home
although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses 
hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach 
you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore
baths w oikawa are frequent
muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being  pampered with your love for him
you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done
a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.
there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.
sleeping in different rooms
(LIL ANGST AHEAD)
Tooru can hear you cry from the other room
he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him
you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.
your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough
will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him
you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water
but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.
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you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.
he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss
will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high
will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy
you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot
will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out
this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.
his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.
you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue
fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much
tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over
aftercare is even better
he doesn’t make you do anything
he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms
215 notes · View notes
povcherry · 3 years
Text
The Love Test | DNF
Dream and George take a test to see if they are in love with their best friend
The intense red text was prominent on his screen. Frustratingly, the one time Dream agrees to playing bedwars with George and Hypixel is down.
Dream lent back in his chair, hands behind his head staring up at the ceiling. His room was dark, the only light shone from his monitors. Patches wrapped around his legs. A deep sigh left George, as he lay his head on his desk in exasperation, an empty subway wrapper by his face, the time on his monitor read 2:17 am, yet he wasn't tired. After being on calls almost consecutively with Dream for essentially a year, he had managed to sync his sleep schedule up with him, already in Florida time prepared for when he goes to live with Dream and Sapnap.
George was disheartened. He was looking forward to playing with Dream. They were both normally either too tired or busy editing or working to go on minecraft for fun, and not just for a YouTube video. But now that they couldn't play bedwars, they were bored and unsure of what to do. They only called each other so that they could play minecraft, but that wasn't an option anymore.
"What do you want to do now then?" Dream asks, his voice far away from the mic, so much so that George nearly missed what he said. He hesitated, staring at Dreams discord profile picture light up.
"We could..." He stalled, drawing out his words. He wasn't the best at making decisions, he was much to indecisive. "Do you want to stream GeoGuessr?" He suggested, silently hoping Dream would say no. He didn't really want to do anything, only talk to Dream for hours on end.
"Not really. My brain is too slow for that level of concentration." That earned a giggle from George, putting a small smile on Dreams face. He loved that sound. "How about we go in my merch vc? Me and ni- Sapnap had fun last time just listening to music?"
George was hesitant. The last time he went in Dreams merch voice call was during the sleep over with Sapnap and Dream. That ended up in a disaster of butterflies and George having to turn his phone off for a couple of hours just to distract himself from the 'dreamnotfound' mayhem they had caused yet again on twitter. He felt giddy just thinking about it, Dream whispering into the mic, loudly cursing when George beat him at 8ball. It made him dizzy thinking about it... thinking about him.
George didn't hate it though- the attention from Dream and the fans. Despite all the jokes and innuendos that they both do to mess with their fans, George knew there was some truth to it all. A deeper meaning to being called an idiot. The endearing term that Dream loved to use oh so much. George felt fluttery, wanting to be called an idiot at this moment.
"George?" He had been silent for a while, reminiscing.
"What would we do on there?"
"Just talk. Or listen to music. Whatever you want to do, George".
Without thinking, George clicked onto the icon for Dreams server. "Do you need to add me to the call?" He asked, unsure about how the podcasts worked.
"Yeah, I need to quickly tell my mods to open it first."
Within minutes, they where in the call, hundreds of people pouring in immediately, spamming the chat with things like 'GEORGE?!' and blue and green hearts. George stifled a giggle, nerves taking over him. Despite doing streams for a living with tens of thousands of people watching him, there was something more intimate with calling Dream in a private server.
"Hello" Dream broke the silence, welcoming all the fans. He chuckled, looking at the chat, "Yes, George is here today. Hypixel was down and we had nothing to do"
"Hi" George was unsure what to say, scratching his neck in awkwardness. It wasn't this weird when he was streaming. At least then they had a plan and chat was relatively easy to read. He was doubtful that this call would end well, what with his ignorance to some innuendos and jokes involving DreamNotfound.
"We thought we would just pop on here. We're kind of bored." Dream stated, unable to see what people where spamming in the #podcast chat. "I can't see what you guys are saying, i'll probably just read my twitch chat."
Half an hour passed and George was getting hungry and bored, nothing eventful had really happened so far except for Dream explaining his setup and chat freaking out over his galaxy mouse pad.
"I want food but all that's in my fridge is butter... oh and the BTS sauces and... uhm expired milk" George complained, looking through his fridge while still on the call.
Dream chucked, "Why do you have expired milk in your fridge?"
"Not the point, I just want food"
"Well get some food then" Dream counteracted. George sighed and rolled his eyes, sitting back down in his chair. His stomach rumbled loudly, calling out to his hunger.
"I'm going to order McDonald's." And with that George muted his mic, found the McDonald's number and ordered his food, in the background, he could hear Dream.
"Should i do a quiz?... yeah? Link some in the podcast chat." There was a long silence. George, long ordered his food, stayed muted, listening to Dream talk to his chat. He found it so endearing the way Dream spoke to them, as though they where a family. His voice soft and gentle as he scrolled through the chat looking for a quiz.
"Ooh, this looks interesting... oh, 'Am I In Love With My Best Friend?'. Sounds... interesting" George stopped. Everything seemed to slow down. Eyes wide as he looked at the screen infront of him, Dreams discord icon lighting up as he chuckled nervously. He wasn't actually going to do it was he? The room was getting hot for George, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to delve into the idea of being in love with his best friend, let alone his best friend being in love with him.
He quickly unmuted, ready to call Dream out on what he was doing, but Dream beat him to it.
"George, i'm going to do the 'Am I In Love With My Best Friend?' quiz" He laughed, opening up the link and reading out the first question. "do you catch yourself looking at your best friend?"
George stalled. They had face timed multiple times in the past, Dream only letting George see his eyes upwards, but George always found it hard for him to look away. He got lost staring at his best friends eyes. George quickly messaged Dream asking for the link for the quiz, if Dream was going to do it, so would George.
"Dream, check dm's" He rushed.
"Huh, what, why?" Dream asked, busy trying to still his own heart beat. He had always known at the back of his mind that he had romantic feelings for George, whether that is because he was just touched starved and was desperate, or because he genuinely wanted more than just a friendship with George, suppressing his feelings as to not ruin anything between them.
"Just read it." George urged, getting apprehensive, unsure whether he should just delete the comment and over analyse everything Dream says.
But before he knew it, the link to the quiz had been sent to George, a small smiley face underneath it from Dream. George was about to reply with a '?' to the smile, but Dream spoke up again.
"I just put 'once in a while', i mean, it's not like im never looking at you but i don't do it like.. all the time." George clicked all the time. He couldn't get enough of Dreams warm amiable eyes. His eyes were a kind of green that speaks to the soul of nature, of fresh wands of grass and new buds, and his eyes were that bright colour, bold and beautiful.
"Right," he snickered, " next question, 'are they the first person you call when something happens?' uhm... yeah, i guess. But not always, i mean i would call my mom first." He laughed, ignoring the fact that George was silent. George always called Dream if something was wrong. He wasn't in contact with his parents, Sapnap wasn't the most mature when it came to serious things, yes he was a great friend and he would be there for George if he needed, but Dream came first. George put Dream before everyone, at time even before himself.
"George?" Dream disrupted his thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"You're being so quiet, everyone is asking if you're asleep" George looked at chat, Sure enough, between all the green and blue hearts, there where people spamming Georges name and sleep.
"Oh uhm no, it is 3 am though. Kind of tired." He said, anxiously looking at the next question, mouse already hovering over 'it's nice if i can'. George didn't wake up thinking about Dream, not always anyway. Just if they had fallen asleep on call together, or if they were recording a video that day.
"You should sleep." His voice had softened. He too was looking at the same question. Thinking about George staying up just for him made him feel giddy, but he also didn't want George to be sleep deprived.
George held back a smile. "I'm good, we're in sync bb" he snickered, knowing that would get a rise out of the chat. He could practically hear Dream roll his eyes in exasperation.
"Oh come on" He laughed, his voice low and raspy as he started to read out the next question. He couldn't get through it without laughing, however. "'Do you get jealous if he or she has a boyfriend or girlfriend?' Oh come on! I mean..." He started, George's scoff cut him off. "What?" Dream laughed.
"Nothing" George giggled
"To be fair.. no, but... i mean, wouldn't anyone?"
"Not really." George counteracted.
"Well, no. But! But! But! It would be one of those things where it's like, awe, now he's gonna be spending time, like, doing that, instead of like, with us. Like with like, me and sap. So, I'll put maybe a little. Right? Maybe a little.?" Dream stuttered, trying to defend his reasoning while George just giggled at his flusteredness.
George had already clicked 'ugh its the worst' already. He remembered when Dream had told him Sapnap was moving in with him. Now, George knew his best friends. He knew there was nothing going on between Dream and Sapnap, but something about them living together tickled George the wrong way. He was pissed off, to say the least. George wasn't normally jealous, but when it came to Dream, he became a different person. He almost didn't want to share Dream with anyone else... George wanted Dream all to himself.
"Dream, no one is arguing with you..." George whispered endearingly, a small smile painted across his lips.
The next few questions were uneventful. Dream still defended his answers despite no body calling him out on them. The chat was a blur of left ear jokes and and blue and greens. George answered 'yes' on the majority of the questions.
" Do you have dreams about them? Im- Okay! That's unfair, like, oh my god. Okay, I'll put sometimes." Dream rushed, desperately wanting to move onto the next question. He didn't want to tell chat, and especially George, about the dreams he has. No body knew about the desperation Dream has when he dreams about George. The want and longing to touch George in many ways than one. The heartache Dream feels when he wakes up because he knows the happiness his feels in his dreams could never be recreated.
"What?" George once again giggled. He was starting to have fun now. Seeing Dream embarrassed made George feel slightly better about his answers, but at this rate he was afraid the quiz would tell him he's so hopelessly in love with his best friend that there was no hope for him. "What do you dream about me?"
"You- you've had- you're- you're an idiot, you've had dreams! You've had one hundred pe- you've told me about dreams you've had!" He stammered, struggling to get his words out correctly without revealing too much. He was starting to get hot, the air conditioning in his room seemed to do nothing, the 'GNF' jumper he was wearing was suffocating him. He was suddenly finding it hard to breath under the weird pressure of these questions he had no obligation answering.
"What type of dreams, hmm?" George teased. He had his head resting in his hands leaning on the desk, taking in everything Dream was saying. George, of course had clicked 'all the time' about dreaming about Dream. Dream was on his mind 24/7.
"Oh don't even start with me, i know you've had dreams about me. You told me you've like.. texted me in your dreams or something. You.. you definitely have, anyway..." The two argued for the next few questions, and it was all smooth sailing for both Dream and George, until it came to the big one. The one that caused George to almost throw up the McDonald's that he had eaten a half hour ago.
Dream went silent. George could almost hear Dreams heart beating through the mic. He knew why, too. He saw the question. George had been dreading this. He chose to stay silent, not wanting to draw attention to himself.
"Do you ever think about what it would be like to kiss your best friend?" Dream was silent for almost thirty seconds. He felt sick. The amount of times he had wondered what Georges lips felt like. Whether or not they were made for him. Perfectly molded to fit Dreams own. He dreamt about them constantly. The soft touch of lips. He was beyond salvageable. "Uhm, n-no. Of course not."
"Why did you take so long to answer?" George was apprehensive. He wondered whether Dream thought about kissing him as much as he did. George so desperately wanted to, he wanted to feel them on his own lips, wanted to know what Dream tasted like, how he smelt. He was forlorn.
"I'm just going to put, well... i'm going to put.. well there's no good answers. I'm just going to put 'yes but it would be like kissing my mom'". He lied, his mouse had been hovering over 'at least a few times a day', unsure whether to click it or not, but he knew the truth. He wanted to kiss George more than he ever wanted to do anything ever.
The rest of the quiz, George kept silent. If he opened his mouth, he would confess his love on the spot. He had finished all the questions, revealing a 32%. He was totally in love with his best friend. Desperately, pathetically and hopelessly in love. He needed help.
"Okay, last question" Georges ears pricked up at this, he was happy it was almost over. He needed to talk to Dream in private, even if it killed him. "Do you see them in your future?... of course. A lot of my future is your future. I don't want a future without you in it..." Dream whispered, muting his physical mic so that no one could hear his breath leave his body. That was the most intimate he had probably ever been with George in front of fans. He hoped he hadn't just messed anything up.
George still stayed silent. Dreams answer made him almost cry with happiness. He couldn't imagine a future without Dream.
Dream un-muted his mic to finish up the quiz, "It says, you are in love with a few things about your best friend, so it's likely that you could fall entirely in love with them if you... if things keep up the way they are right now." George was unsure of what to say. Chat was once again asking if he was asleep. Both boys took no notice. Almost silently, so silently George almost missed it. But he held his breath, staring at the monitor with fear. All colour had drained from his face. He was about to pass out.
"If.. if you're worried they don't feel the same way... you're going to have to find out how to shut your feelings off, you don't want to ruin what you have."... no one talked for a couple seconds... both of them waiting for the other to say something, until George plucked up the courage.
"I don't want to ruin anything, Dream."
George loved Dream, and Dream was sure he loved George.
22 notes · View notes
meat--grindr · 3 years
Note
another trans man fixated on Martin here!! 💕
could i request some NSFW of an ftm S/O teasing Martin while hes on the phone trying to do another interview as The Count? not a lot of talking from the S/O while hes on the phone, mostly physical stuff & feeling him up thru his clothes. the rest is up to you >:)))
(def going to use as a drawing prompt im just so so embarrassed to request off anon 😔😔😔)
Alright, so, this prompt has been living in my head rent-free ever since I first read it and I am so freaking excited to finally get to it. I’m sorry it took so long. I will admit this was a bit of a challenge for me because I am notoriously bad at writing dialogue. But I feel like it was good practice. Sorry if it sounds a little stilted in spots, I’m still learning.
Please, please, please link me to that art if you ever get around to it! You knocked it out of the park with this prompt and I’d love to give the art some love if you’re comfortable with sharing!
The Count Didn’t Count on This – Martin Mathias (Trans-Masculine Reader) – NSFW.
·       It’s late, and for once, you’re exactly where you feel you should be at this late hour—not sprawled across a chair reading, or gazing out of the window, watching the cars pass and counting the neighbours’ lights as they flick on and off in lieu of stargazing. And for the first time in at least a week, you’re not trapped at your desk, frantically typing the final draft of a paper, hindered by the slow keys of a typewriter that does not care a whit about the deadline steadily hurtling toward you. No, thankfully, this night has brought with it far more comfortable circumstances—you find yourself in bed, tired bones sinking into the plush mattress, consciousness caught in the bleary space between sleep and not.
·       Even better, you aren’t alone.
·       Tonight, your bed is warmed by another body, long and thin, curled tightly against your own, as though it were some sort of crime to leave even an inch of space between you. A bony hip digs into your thigh and you’re sure the press of your head and shoulder against his chest must make breathing difficult for him. But he’s made no attempt to shrug you off or shift your weight to a more comfortable spot, so you likewise let it be. In all honesty, you’re simply too comfortable to bother and you feel it’s safe to assume the same is true for Martin too.
·       The slow, even beat of his heart pulses against your cheek, and his long fingers stroke absently over your bare shoulder. The rough texture of burgeoning callouses catches against your skin—the sensation, though not wholly unpleasant, makes you shudder. Sometimes, you forget Martin works with his hands. When you hold them, they seem so delicate—his long fingers better suited to playing the piano than tightening screws or hammering nails. But he’s good at repairs and more importantly, he seems to find enjoyment the work. It certainly keeps him busy enough on the few afternoons that Cuda isn’t running him ragged in the shop, much to your personal dismay. But his nights—the nights like this—belong to you and you alone.
·       Your eyelids flutter closed, and for the first time in what feels like weeks, maybe even longer, you feel like you can rest. Really rest. Dimly, you find yourself wondering if it had more to do with finished papers and diminished responsibilities, or the reintroduction of the physical intimacy you’ve been missing so dearly. Though you can’t say for certain, you have a sneaking suspicion it’s the latter.
·       The longer you know Martin, the more you’re convinced that there is a preternatural bubble of calm that hangs around him. You can feel it in the way even the grouchiest old women in the store seem to soften toward him—hiding small smiles behind their sleeves, sometimes even calling him ‘dear,’ or in the way Cuda’s volatile temper deflates when his cruel words slide off Martin’s back as though he’s heard it all before from people who frightened him far greater. You’ve seen it at work on the feral cats that roam the neighbourhood—while they hiss and swipe at the children who chase them through the dusty streets, they sit willingly at Martin’s feet, rubbing against his legs with a familiarity that borders on friendly. And it’s in the way he looks at you—looks into you with those dark eyes that seem far too old for that handsome, youthful face—intense and all-seeing, but never judgemental. He is a point of unflappable calm in a world which never seems to slow for even a second. That calm has settled into you now, seeping into your bones as you lay there, listening to his heart thumping in the darkness.
·       The low crackle of the radio hovers at the edge of your hearing, a burst of static cutting through the droning voices. You’d stopped listening properly ages ago—the third time the DJ had made an attempt to dismiss his latest caller. It was an old man who was seven shades of pissed about the ‘teen-age hooligans’ who were ‘tipping over his bins every night and eating his trash.’ Of course, everyone with half a brain, including the host himself, knows it’s an animal—probably a raccoon, or a family of raccoons, but this old geezer has somehow convinced himself it’s a gaggle of ‘Satan-worshipping teenagers who have been brainwashed by heavy metal music and Pepsi Cola.’
·       Okay. Sure.
·       It’s utterly ridiculous, and just the sort of thing you’ve come to expect from the people who live in Braddock. Or the ones who call in to a show like this anyhow.
·       In a way, you feel bad for the poor DJ. Sure, he welcomes strange callers of all kinds, from alien abductees and bigfoot hunters to bereaved parents who teenagers are ‘just growing up too fast,’ or ‘a little too interested in the works of William Shakespeare.’ He even encourages them at times, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere, and in your mind, this, funny as it may be, is probably it. You’re sure whatever the station is paying the guy, it isn’t enough to suffer through being called a ‘brainless sack of human garbage’ by a crazy old man.
·       “And that’s about all the time we have,” Despite his cheery tone, the poor guy sounds exhausted. “Thank you for calling!”
·       Another burst of static drowns out the old man’s reply, but you’re sure that whatever he’d said, it was not ‘radio-friendly.’
·       “…our next caller. You are on the air, Sir!”
·       “Yeah, uh…hi, Barry.” The man sounds young—probably not much older than yourself—and very nervous. He must be a first-time caller. As he and the DJ share opening pleasantries—what’s your name, how old are you, where are you calling in from tonight, is that a cat I hear in the background? —your attention begins to drift again. You teeter for a moment on the edge of sleep, the clean scent of your linen sheets and Martin’s shampoo filling your nose.
·       “I was just wondering if you’ve heard from the Count again since last time?”
·       And just like that, you’re awake again, attention fully focused on your radio and the funny little show that whispers through it.
·       The caller is asking about Martin. A cold shiver rumbles through your body. People ask about Martin on the show all the time—of course, they don’t know that’s who they’re asking about, but you do. It’s so strange, to hear a stranger talk about someone you know so well—even worse when they speak about him like they know him too. Sometimes, they make you laugh with their outlandish theories, but sometimes they make you sick—sick with worry: when he’s threatened with violence or exposure, sick with fear: when they make guesses that hit a little too close to home, and sick with jealousy: when they claim to have had an ‘encounter’ with him, or worse, try to set one up on air.
·       You know about Martin, of course—that he is a vampire, or at least he thinks he’s a vampire. Whether or not you believe him is another question entirely. He certainly does not abide by the ‘vampire rules’ as you know them from stories and television—he doesn’t sleep in a coffin, filled with dirt from his homeland or otherwise, rather he sleeps in a bed (curled up beside you more often than not these days). He cuts a handsome figure in mirrors and the photographs that you have pinned up above your desk. He walks about in the sun most days without complaint despite his pale complexion, and though he may not be a sleek. Predatory creature that oozes confidence, grace, and sex appeal, he’s no slouch either—lithe and handsome in a boyish sort of way, all knees, elbows, and wide dark eyes.
·       In fact, the only requirement he seems to meet on the proverbial ‘vampire checklist’ is his fixation with blood—and the need to consume it. Maybe that means something, maybe it doesn’t. You’ve come to the conclusion that what you think really doesn’t matter in the end—your opinion isn’t going to sway him on the subject one way or another. This is a truth about himself he believes perhaps more deeply than anything else. Who were you to try and change that?
·       So, you do your best to take everything in stride, and when you can’t, you humour him. Still, every once in a while, something will trip you up—you still can’t quite decide if he’s joking about being over eighty years old or not. But you do your best. You had even let him feed on you once. Though only once. In the end, it was Martin who had decided the experience was not one he would like to repeat.
·       He had laid you out on your bed, “I don’t want you to get hurt if you faint.” Though you’d told him nearly a hundred times that you’d be just fine, that you’d had blood taken before at the hospital, he had insisted.
·       You had expected things to be different. For a start, you had expected him to climb into your lap, to press his lips against your neck, seeking your pulse the way it’s done in the movies. Instead, he’d taken out a little white kit from his bag. He had unzipped it and laid it out on the bed, revealing a little bottle of clear liquid, a row of sterile, hypodermic needles, and a pack of fresh razor blades.
·       His long fingers fell upon the needles, caressing them lovingly one by one. Much to your relief, he did not pick one up. As if he could sense your apprehension, he’d said, “Don’t worry, I won’t need these.” He’d glanced up at you, measuring your reaction, “I won’t need them because you’re not going to fight me. Are you?” It wasn’t really a question. You shook your head, and the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile, “Good. It’s so much easier when they don’t fight me.” Those words had made you shudder. He really had done this before, then. Part of you hadn’t believed him—he seemed so…harmless
·       He’d picked out a single blade from the package, meticulously removing the white paper wrapping, taking extra care not to tear it, or let the blade cut into it. When he was through, he folded the paper into a neat square and dropped it onto the comforter. He lay the blade flat on his palm for you to see. “I don’t have pointy teeth, you see.” He took your hand, opening his mouth and guiding your fingers along the edges of his flat, dull teeth. “They aren’t sharp, so they don’t cut deep enough. You understand?” You’d nodded and he had kissed your fingertips gently, one by one.
·       “I’ll be careful, I promise,” He’d said, “I’ll only take a little. Just enough to take the edge off.” Despite the hungry glint in his eyes, you’d known he was telling the truth. He didn’t need to reassure you of that. You trusted him. Besides, you had asked for this. At least, he’d stopped asking if he still had your permission every five minutes. Of course he did.
·       And yet. Your heartbeat had kicked up, jittering like a frightened bird when you’d seen the needles and the razor. It was as though actually seeing them had made the whole situation feel more real. There was no denying you were afraid, but you didn’t tell him to stop—you didn’t want to. You had made up your mind. You wanted this; wanted to help.
·       He’d held your hand in his own like it was a thing made of glass. His fingers gripped the razor with a practiced grace as he held it just above your palm. Watching him, you were struck for the second time by just how rehearsed this seemed. How many times had he done this, with or without permission?
·       “Take a deep breath for me, okay? There’s a good boy.” Did he talk to the others too? Even the ones who fought back? You could picture him, chattering softly against the skin of some poor soul, sprawled limp across the floor.
·       Limp or lifeless?
·       The thought unsettled you, but you did as you were told, filling your lungs nearly to capacity as the sharp edge of the blade bit into the meat of your palm just below your thumb. As promised, he had been quick, pressing only as hard as was necessary. Even so, the sting of it made your flinch, your hand jumping in his own. His fingers tensed around yours, the tightness of his grip reflected in the grimace that flashed across his face as he bent his head to seal his lips around the wound.
·       You had expected to feel him pulling the blood from you, but he simply let it flow into his mouth, the coppery taste heavy on his tongue. He exhaled through his nose, long and low—a pleased sound. Something about that set you more at ease. He hadn’t recoiled or wrinkled his nose at the taste of your blood. You hadn’t even realized you were worried about how you tasted until that moment.
·       You had started to feel dizzy beneath him—dizzy not from a loss of blood, but the wet heat of his mouth against your skin. Your heart had stuttered in your chest as his tongue probed gently around the edges of the wound, soothing your sparking nerves, even as the blood continued to drip down his throat.
·       When at last, he pulled away, his face was flushed, and his breath came hard; his chest heaving as though he’d just run a great distance. Immediately, his hand shot to his front pocket, fingers searching for the roll of gauze bandages he’s swiped from Cuda’s first-aid kit.
·       He’d wrapped the clean white fabric around your hand with such care it made your heart ache almost as much as the wound itself. When he was finished, he’d flipped your hand over and pressed a gentle kiss against your knuckles. Then, he spoke. His voice was small, barely more than a ragged whisper, “Thank you.”
·       “Was that…was it okay?” Your skin felt feverish, as though the heat of his mouth had seeped into your flesh and was burning you from the inside out. And the dizzy feeling had only grown worse, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut for a long moment.
·       Martin was still struggling to get his breathing under control, “Yes. I-It was good…better than good, actually. But…”
·       “But?” Had you done something wrong? Had you tasted bad after all? You cracked open one eye, then the other. The spinning had mostly subsided, but you still felt unsteady. “What can I do better next time?”
·       He’d gone stiff all over then, and his reply had come sudden and sharp, “No!” He cringed, the force behind his words clearly surprising himself as well. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, “No ‘next time.’ I…I can’t stand hurting you like that. I won’t do it again.”
·       You’d gazed up at him, blinking in confusion for a second. Then you realized what he’d meant—you had flinched when he’d cut you. Oh.
·       You reached up, cupping his cheek, “Oh, Martin. You didn’t hurt me. Not really.” It wasn’t strictly true—it had hurt a little, but you had been prepared for it to. You brushed a stray droplet of blood from the corner of his mouth with a careful swipe of your thumb.
·       “Yes, I did. I saw it.” You had tried to protest further, but he��d cut you off, much to your surprise. Martin almost never talked back like this, though perhaps you’d simply never given him a reason before. “I saw you flinch. I won’t put you through this again.”
·       And he hadn’t. Though you’d brought the idea up more than once, he had dismissed it each time with the same stubborn shake of his head. If Martin was anything, he was true to his word.
·       “…and it’s been such a long time since we heard from the guy.”
·       The DJ hums in agreement, “It has indeed, my friend. Maybe we’ll hear from him later tonight. If you’re out there listening, Count, don’t be a stranger! Give us a call,” He begins rattling off the stations toll-free number. “We’re all dying to hear from you again!”
·       You feel Martin stiffen up against you. You knew about the interviews he had done; you’d even heard one of them, back when Martin was little more to you than a silent, sullen face behind the counter at Cuda’s shop. And even when he’d started talking to you, he sounded different over the radio—his voice was deeper, and he sounded so confidant, so sure of himself when he talked about his ‘sickness.’ He almost never sounded like that in day-to-day life. You weren’t embarrassed to admit you found it attractive.
·       Martin on the other hand, was mortified to know you had heard him. He had known that people were listened to him, obviously, but they were supposed to be strangers. You actually knew him, and he’d talked about sex. Of course, reminding him you’d done a lot more in your time together than simply listen to him talk about sex did little to lessen his horror.
·       Of course, you also knew he’d been doing fewer and fewer interviews now that he had you to talk to and share his life with. But on occasion, when the pleading from the DJ gets too desperate, or he was simply that bored, Martin could be coaxed back onto the other end of the phoneline once again.
·       You glance up at him, but in the darkness, his expression is unreadable, eyes cast down toward the end of the bed, long lashes throwing feathered shadows across his pale cheeks. From the very beginning, he’s been hard to read. As you’ve come to know him better, you’ve needed to get comfortable with the idea of asking when you want to know something you could easily intuit if speaking to anyone else. He’s very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings behind a neutral expression and placid silence, but he would tell you almost anything if you asked him directly; so long as he had the words to explain it to you.
·       Do you want to make a call, Martin?”
·       For a long moment, he’s silent, turning the idea over in his mind a few times. You had never actually been with him when he’d done an interview in the past. He’d usually wait until you were three days deep in an assignment with no quick end in sight, or out of town with family. Maybe he would be too embarrassed to do it with you here or maybe he’s just not in the mood tonight. But, after a minute, he tilts his head down toward you and says, “Why not?”
·       The radio crackles out a jaunty tune—a commercial for some small business or another. “I’ll call in a few minutes. He doesn’t seem busy tonight.” Martin sits up, bracing his back against the headboard of your bed, and dislodging you from your perch. You grumble a little, irritated by the loss of your comfy spot, but you crawl into his lap anyway.
·       You press soft kisses into his skin, beginning at his hairline, and trailing down over his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks—the right then the left—the very tip of his nose, and finally his lips. He smiles against your mouth, leaning into the kiss with his whole body.
·       When you pull away only a moment later, you can practically hear the pouty turn of his mouth. He whines softly, but you pay him no mind, trailing kisses down his chin. “Are you nervous, Martin?” The question comes out muffled by the soft curve of his jaw.
·       “Not really, no…” He trails off, eyes cast to the ceiling, “I like the attention, I s’pose.”
·       You pull back to look at him, barely stifling a snort of amusement, “Don’t I give you enough?”
·       His eyes slide from the ceiling, falling upon you dark and wide. For a moment, you think he’s taken you seriously, but the pouty turn of his mouth breaks into a blinding grin, “You give me lots, sure, but I’m a creature of the night, remember? We always want more.”
·       The two of you sit there for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes, the silence stretching on into the night. Then, you collapse into each other in a fit of giggles. Martin buries his head into the crook of your neck, shaking with quiet laughter. Sure, when he’d said wasn’t untrue, but when he put it like that, it was hard not to laugh.
·       “Welcome back, everybody. It’s almost the top of the hour at 01:57! I’m your host Barry…”
·       You hadn’t even heard the ads end! Martin scrambles for the chunky landline phone that rests on the beside table, nimble fingers punching in the numbers at speed. Though his calls had become less and less frequent, he evidently kept the number somewhere in his memory.
·       Martin’s voice is hushed as he speaks to whoever manned the phones down at the radio station, muttering something about ‘the Count.’ As he speaks, he winds the coiled phone cord around a delicate finger. It’s a simple, distracted habit of Martin’s but it makes your heart flutter whenever you catch him doing it.
·       You stretch your arm as far as you can, reaching for the radio, unwilling to give up your perch in Martin’s lap for even a second. Your fingertips brush the cool metal—once, twice—then you manage to curl your fingers around it. Pulling it into your lap you turn the volume down low so only you can hear it.
·       “I’m just getting word that we have a special guest on the line,” the DJ sounds positively elated, “Folks, it looks like the Count is back in town. Hello, Count! Where have ya’ been?”
·       Martin hesitates for a moment, his jaw working as he searches for the words, “Around.”
·       There is a definite lag between the words in his mouth, and those same words coming through the radio. The dissonance confounds your ears and makes your head ache in a dizzy sort of way, but you want to hear both halves of this conversation, not just Martin’s.
·       “So, what trouble have you been getting into since we last spoke, Count? Murdered any pretty ladies recently?”
·       There’s a smile in Martin’s voice, “Not ladies, no.”
·       “Oh really? Any men then?”
Martin glances down at you, though he makes a non-committal noise. The DJ takes a breath, as though he’s going to say something, but Martin cuts him off, “I wouldn’t call what I do murder, anyhow.”
·       “No? But you still need to drink blood, right?”
·       “Oh, yes.”
·       “How have you been getting your food, then? Don’t vampires uh…kill with every strike?”
·       Martin laughs, a soft, breathy sound that sends a shudder through you. “I’ve been managing.” His tone is damn near conversational. You gaze down at him, marvelling at how easy this seems to be for him. The Martin you’ve come to know and love rarely (if ever) speaks to strangers, and when he has no other choice, he’s never this talkative. It’s strange, but by no means an unwelcome change. You nuzzle against him, letting his voice thrum through your skull as it vibrates around in his chest.
·       “Enough talk of blood and guts, Count. What about your other problems, huh? Tell me, are the streets of Braddock safe at last from the real terror stalking them? Have you…” He pauses conspiratorially, “Found yourself a girl yet?”
·       Those words drive an icy spike of hurt deep into your guts. No, he had not found himself a girl. Martin must have felt your jaw clenching, as his free hand begins to card through your hair—soothing and soft.
·       “I’ve found…someone.” The implications of that word settles you almost as much as his touch. ‘Someone.’ Not a woman, but someone of significance, nonetheless. He bends down to press a quick kiss into the crown of your head. “Someone special.”
·       The DJ gasps, sounding scandalized. “Someone special! Well, I never. Good for you, Count.” You can’t say you’re a fan of the man’s tone—pleasant enough, but with a sharp edge that borders on condescending. But there’s little you can do but grit your teeth and bear it. “How long until you suck this one dry and move on?”
·       Wow. Fuck this guy. On some level, you’d known he was an asshole—sure you felt bad for him when people were rude, but he could dish it out just as well as he could take it. Every once in a while, he’d push a caller too hard or make a snide comment the conversation could have done without. You didn’t like hearing it when strangers were involved, and now that you were the subject of such a comment, you like it even less. He makes it sound like you’re some random conquest, or worse, little more than a meal to Martin. How wrong he was.
·       Suck this one dry and move on? Fat chance, Buddy. Though, his wording did give you an idea…maybe you could make this night just a little more interesting for the both of you.
You sit back, uncurling your legs and dropping your knees to either side of Martin’s hips, straddling his lap properly. Settling your weight back into his lap, you pull a face, pointing to the radio in your lap and mouthing, ‘What a jaggoff!’
·       Martin’s lips press into a thin line as he tries to stifle his laughter. He nods sympathetically but doesn’t say anything about it to the DJ. He’s slow to anger, preferring to divert the conversation rather than cause a scene. You can’t help but admire him for that. You lean forward, stamping a kiss against his collarbone.
·       “I…uh…try not to eat the things I love.”
·       “Ooooh, so it’s love, huh?”
·       You roll your eyes at the DJ, though you can’t deny hearing Martin say he loves you sends a little thrill through you—it was the same thrill you’d felt the first time he had said it to you, and the same thrill you hoped to feel for years to come. You trail little, open-mouthed kisses up the column of Martin’s throat, your mouth feverishly warm against his skin. A shudder jolts through him like an electric shock as your teeth scape across his Adam’s apple. You grin against his flesh, sliding up to nip along the underside of his jaw. There is a sensitive spot at the very corner that you love to exploit, and now seems like the perfect opportunity to do so.
·       Your teeth graze over the spot and his body jitters beneath you. His voice catches in his throat, though if the DJ notices, he doesn’t comment. You nip gently at the spot, reddening the pale skin as you worry it with your teeth. You long to suck a bruise there—the purple-blue hue would doubtless look stunning against the pallor of his skin, but you knew Cuda would have a conniption if he saw it, and you didn’t want to put Martin through that again. Not after last time. The pair of you had agreed that perhaps in future, it would be better if any hickeys you left remained under your clothes.
·       Pressing one final kiss against that spot, you pull back to look at him. You can tell he’s getting flustered—there’s a flush beginning to creep up his neck from beneath the collar of his t-shirt, deep pink and blotchy. You know, given time, it will reach his cheeks, the colour blooming high on his cheekbones. When you get him worked up enough, you could make Martin blush to the very tips of his ears. It was adorable.
·       Your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt as you drag your nails down his chest. His teeth catch his lower lip. You can almost hear the whine trapped behind those pearly teeth.
·       “Why don’t you tell us a little about this special someone, Count?”
·       Martin hesitates, “I don’t know about that.”
·       “Nonsense! You can tell your good ol’ pal Barry. Who am I gonna tell?”
·       Martin isn’t that stupid. He knows Barry doesn’t need to tell anyone anything—he’s live on air, he’d be telling them himself. His eyes flick down to yours, searching for something, be it permission or resistance. He pulls the phone away from his ear, resting it against his shoulder as he waits for you to make up your mind. You know he’d hang up in an instant if you asked him to—he’d likely do you one better and never call in again if the DJ was just going to ask questions about you all night long. But you trusted Martin not to give too much information away—he’d managed to stay hidden all this time, after all.
·       You nodded at him, smiling and thumbing gently over a nipple. Though your touch is light, and the sensation is dampened by the fabric of his shirt, Martin makes a sound as though he’s been punched in the stomach. He shifts beneath you, tucking the phone underneath his chin as he moves.
·       You grip the striped fabric of his shirt, working it in your hands. You lift it a little, fingers slipping just beneath it to splay against the flat plane of his stomach. His skin is warm and soft beneath your hands. You look down at him, arching a brow and asking for permission with only your eyes.
·       “Fine.” He says, and though the word is an answer for the DJ’s pleading, he’s talking to you, looking directly into your eyes—granting the permission you were so hoping for.
·       “Great! So, how long have you been together?”
·       You fall into him, hands pushing the soft cotton of his shirt up over his chest. Your lips are on his skin in a matter of seconds, trailing kisses across every inch of exposed skin—stomach, ribs, hips, and everything in between.
·       “It’s been ahh—” His words are cut short by a tight little moan as you bite down hard just below his left nipple. However, he manages a solid recovery as your tongue laves over the spot soothing the sting, playing the whole thing off as though he had needed time to stop and think about it, “—bout a year, maybe a little longer.”
·       Clever boy.
·       You drag your tongue a little higher, flicking over the sensitive skin of his nipple. He arches into your touch, hips canting up against yours, threatening to buck you from your perch. He tilts his head, trapping the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, reaching for you with both hands.
·       He takes your cheeks into his hands, pulling your head away from his chest. You grin up at him, taking in his expression—his pupils blown so wide with want they swallow all but the slimmest ring of brown iris, his lips parted and shining in the semi-darkness, flushed to the tips of his ears.
·       You surge up to kiss him, remembering only at the last moment, he needs to keep his mouth free to carry on the conversation. With a huff, you divert your course, and fix your lips back against the skin of Martin’s neck.
·       He swallows hard as you press your lips back against his pulse, pushing his hips back up into yours. You can’t keep the grin form your face as you feel him pressing up against you—the outline in his pants far more noticeable now.
·       His hands tremble slightly as they search for yours, dragging them down to the front of his jeans. You grin widens as you press down. Even through the thick denim, you can feel his cock throb under your palm. Someone’s excited.
·       You look down at him and he turns his head away, flushing a shade darker. He was so easy to wind up like this, it was almost unbelievable. A few kisses here, and gentle touch there, and he was a blushing, whining mess spread out on your sheets for you to enjoy however your pleased. You had chalked the over-sensitivity up to a lack of experience, and had expected it to fade after a few months, but it hadn’t. He was just that reactive, not that you were complaining.
·       With deft fingers, you pop the button of his jeans, quietly dragging the zipper down. He lifts his hips, wriggling helpfully as you drag his pants and underwear down over his thighs.
·       His cock bobs free, flushed and leaking already. You ghost the pads of your fingers over the soft skin of his shaft, and he shudders, his whole body tensing. His knuckles are white where he grips the phone, and his jaw is tight with the struggle of keeping quiet.
·       You wrap your hand around him, stroking gently from base to tip. His back arches off from the headboard, and he falls forward, burying his head in the crook of your neck. The phone receiver bumps against your collarbone, hard and hollow. The plastic is pleasantly cool against your feverish skin.
·       “Is it different being with a…uh…forgive the expression, normal person?”
·       “They’re a…” His laugh is breathy, almost a moan as he glances down at you, “a real handful.”
·       You barely stifle a laugh. You glare down at him in mock disapproval, and he sticks his tongue out at you. Cheeky little bastard. Though the colour still sits high on his cheeks, and his breathing comes through parted lips in short puffs, he seems to have adjusted well to your pace.
·       “Nothing you can’t handle though, I’m sure. Do they know about your…condition, shall we say?”
·       “They are aware, yes.”
·       The DJ laughs, “And how did that go? Can’t be an easy thing to hear—that your boyfriend might vamp out and eat you whole!”
·       Martin sighs, “I already told you, I don’t eat people…” His voice is much steadier now, even as your fingers brush along the sensitive spots on the underside of his cock. That means its time to switch things up. You can’t have him getting too comfortable. Where would the fun be in that? You tighten your grip—something that usually makes Martin thrash against the sheets and sob into your pillows—and begin to swipe your thumb gently over the tip of his cock with every upward stroke. He almost drops the phone as he yanks it away from his mouth. He covers the receiver with a shaking hand just in time, as a soft whine slips through his teeth, “Oh, fuck…”
·       You press a finger up against your lips, reminding him to be quiet. He presses up into your fist, his hips stuttering as your thumb traces a lazy circle around his head. His free hand flutters nervously about his mouth, as he tries desperately to keep quiet. His breath comes sharp and quick though his nose as he struggles to keep control. You shift your weight, pinning his hips back down with your thighs, and though he tries to buck back up against you, you hold him firmly in place. He whines high in his throat, shooting a pleading look up at you, but you just shake your head and point at the phone, ‘Keep going.’
·       Slowly, Martin brings the receiver back up to his ear. His tongue flickers out over his lips and he lets out a shaky breath, “S-Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”
·       “I said, ‘let’s circle back to what you said before,’ about not eating what you love. Why not? If you don’t need to kill to feed, why not feed on this special someone? Surely if they love you back, they’d be willing.”
·       You slow your hand, wanting to give Martin a fighting chance at answering. You were momentarily intrigued by the DJ’s line of questioning. You knew why Martin didn’t want to feed on you, but you were curious as to what sort of excuse he would give.
·       “W-Well…it’s come up mo-ore than once but…” Martin goes silent as you squeeze down on him, his posture going rigid, his head thrown back against the headboard.
·       The DJ lets the silence hang for a moment, but when Martin doesn’t finish his thought, he cuts in, “But…? You still there, Count?”
·       You let up, and Martin takes a big gulp of air, as though he had only just remembered he needed to breathe. “Y-Yeah, I’m here. It’s…it’s complicated.”
·       “Oh yeah? How?”
·       “Well, it’s not about whether they’ll let me or not…” He takes a shaky breath, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he steadies himself. When he speaks again, his voice is low, barely more than a whisper, “It’s that I want more.”
·       He tries in vain to buck up into your fist, his hips rolling in shallow, abortive little thrusts. His teeth are sunk into his lower lip, his eyes boring deep into your own.
·       ‘I want more.’ Those words were meant for you.
·       You blink down at him, momentarily dumb founded. Then a grin spreads across your face, sharp and hungry. If he wants more, you’ll give it to him—you’d give it to him until he was begging you to stop.
·       Sliding down his body, you know this is risky. Martin has never been good at keeping quiet, especially not when you’ve got your mouth on him. But the idea is simply too enticing to pass up on. When were you ever going to get the change to suck his cock live on air again? Besides, this might be good practice for him in the art of keeping his voice down—not that you didn’t love to hear him, it just might be nice to keep your…activities a secret from the whole neighbourhood for once.
·       You wriggle down onto your stomach, bringing your face level with Martin’s cock. Settling yourself into a comfortable position between his knees, you bend your head, pressing a gentle kiss against the tip of his cock.
·       He makes an involuntary choking sound in the back of his throat. You look up at him, resting your chin on the tops of his thighs. You want to give him the time he needs to make up his mind. If he tells you ‘no,’ or pushes you away, you’d gladly go back to stroking his cock and kissing his neck. You would get just as much pleasure from the shivers and whimpers you could wring out of him that way.
·       But he doesn’t tell you no, rather he pushes his hips up against you, pressing the tip hard against your lips. You flick your tongue out, ghosting for only a moment over his sensitive flesh, but it’s enough to make his eyes roll back, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks. You do it again, and his mouth falls open. Though no sound escapes the look on his face is just as glorious.
·       This is going to be fun.
·       You crane your neck, opening your mouth and gently taking the head inside.  Martin’s free hand shoots to his mouth, and he bites down hard on the meat of his palm to stop himself from sobbing out loud. You press your tongue flat against him, dragging it slowly against his hot flesh. He thrashes beneath you, jostling the phone against his cheek.
·       Carefully, you sink further down on him, taking him in inch by inch. He lets out a long sigh around a mouthful of palm.
·       “What was that, Count?”
·       “Oohh…nothing,” Martin grinds out, “Just…closing a window.”
·       The lie was flimsy, but the DJ, despite his skeptical tone, didn’t seem interested in pressed him on it further, “…Right…so how is your control around this person, huh? Do you ever get the urge to just go to town on them?”
·       Martin’s laugh comes out as a low purr, and he bucks into your mouth once, “Mmm, sometimes.” Ever so slowly, as you’ve sunk down onto his cock, he’s been curling in on himself. His head now rests atop your own, and you can feel the heat of his cheek radiating against your scalp. If that heat is anything to go by, he must be positively scarlet.
·       “And what does that entail for you exactly?”
·       With a little jolt, his cock brushes up against the back of your throat. You swallow down a little choking noise, breathing steadily through your nose in an attempt to calm your gag reflex.
·       The warmth of Martin’s cheeks is suddenly gone as he straightens up again. His head hits the headboard with a thump. “I-I just wanna…” He swallows thickly, his breath coming hard, “Push into…p-push my teeth into their throat and just,” He bucks up into your throat, either unable, or simply unwilling to stay still any longer, “just take what I want.”
·       “Their…blood?”
·       You swallow around Martin and his back arches so far he practically lifts off the bed “Yes! Yes, everything they have to give!”
·       “Right…for a moment there it sounded a bit more, uh, sexually motivated than that.”
·       Again, your throat contracts around him, and a hiss of air escapes through his teeth, “No difference really…”
·       The DJ is silent for a moment, “Now that’s an interesting tidbit about you, Count. I’m sure all the ladies out there would love to hear more about that.”
·       Marin fucks up into your throat again with a soft groan, “I’m…I’m sure they would but,” His breath is coming harder now, “unfortunately, I’m taken.”
·       The DJ laughs, “Hear that, Count? That’s the sound of hundreds of hearts all over Braddock breaking. Sorry, folks but it looks like you’re out of luck.”
·       Oh. He’s taken alright. You can just imagine the anguished looks on their faces when you learn he gets taken almost every other night by another man.
·       Though you’d love to keep him in this position, you’re struck by the sudden, possessive urge to have him on his back. You tap his thigh thrice in quick succession and Martin withdraws almost immediately. He’s always so respectful of your wishes, even if he whines a little when his cock slips from the wet heat of your mouth. The sudden chill of the air on his wet cock sends a shiver through him.
·       You scoot back, grabbing Martin by the calves, and pulling him down into a more horizontal position. He fumbles with the phone, as it slips from his grasp, landing on the bed near his shoulder.
·       “What’s going on, Count?”
·       “S-Sorry, I just…I just dropped the phone is all. I’m…I’m feeling awful shaky these days.”
·       “Oh, yeah? How long has it been?”
·       Martin’s tone is distracted, “Ages.” He is far more focused on you, his dark eyes trained on yours as you loom over him.
·       The DJ asks another question, but you’re not listening as you slip Martin’s slick cock into your mouth, wasting no time in taking him back into your throat where he belongs.
·       Though you can’t make out his words so well over the rushing in your ears, Martin’s voice sounds strained, slightly higher than usual. He’s fighting the pleasure hard.
·       His free hand fists itself in your hair, pushing you down tighter against his cock. You swallow hard, trying desperately not to gag as he rolls is hips into your mouth. He’s come such a long way since the first time you asked him to fuck your mouth. He’d been so nervous that you did most of the work, bobbing your head faster and faster until he’d spilled deep into your mouth. He had apologized for almost an hour after, thinking the rasp in your voice was all his fault. Now? He’s practically asphyxiating you, and you hadn’t needed to say a word.
·       Martin is shaking—his thighs tremble on either side of your head, and the phone in his hands nearly slips from his grasp again with the force of the tremors passing through him.
·       You hollow your cheeks and he’s forced to cover the receiver again as a series of whimpers tear free from his lips. You press your tongue flat against the underside of his cock, and he sobs, his hips canting up off the bed.
·       “I-I’m close,” His frantic whisper comes tight through his teeth, an edge bordering on panic creeping into his voice. You grip his thigh and redouble your efforts, gaining a high whine in return.
·       “Hey, Count? Count there’s a lot of interference on your end…I can’t really hear you. I think this is where this conversation has to end, but call back another night, huh?” Martin doesn’t even respond, he simply slams the receiver back into the cradle, ending the call.
·       Almost as soon as the call has disconnected, he’s a whimpering mess. “Oh, fuck! Your mouth…I-I can’t! Is it okay? Is it okay if I…?”
·       He can’t bring himself to say it, but you know what he means and hum a soft affirmation around his cock. He cries out as the sound vibrates around his over-sensitive flesh.
·       With a whimper, he fucks up into your mouth, once, twice, then he shudders, his whole body going rigid as he cums. His knees clamp around your ears, squeezing your head as he shakes with the pleasure. His fingers pull at your hair, any tighter and you’re sure he’ll pull some out. But you press on, hollowing your cheeks, letting him ride the high for as long as he can.
·       The sound he makes as you swallow around him is nothing short of wrecked. His fingers claw the sheets as though he’s trying to drag himself away from you, from your mouth, but his body remains locked in place beneath you.
·       His cock twitches against your tongue as you slowly pull back, the wet drag of your tongue digging raw little whimpers from his throat, and a shudder passed through him when you pull of and his cock is again exposed to the chilly air of the room. His hips press forward, seeking the tight heat of your throat again. It would seem almost desperate if the motion wasn’t so sluggish, almost sleepy.  
·       He reaches for you then in the dark. His hands, hot and sweaty from exertion and gripping both the phone and the sheets for so long, grasp either side of your face as he pulls you up for a kiss.
·       The salty taste of his cum still coats your tongue, but he doesn’t seem to care as he presses his lips against yours with a desperation you rarely see in him.
·       Pulling back, you whisper against his lips, “Was that enough attention?”
·       He smiles, “For me? Yes.” He presses another soft kiss against your lips. “But now it’s your turn.”
49 notes · View notes
league-of-thots · 4 years
Text
Leave Me a Message
Pairing: Hawks x reader
Warnings: angst, swearing, some suggestive themes, um gl with this? im told by my beta it was very sad
Words: 9.4k 
A/N: so um. this happened. First off, if you’d like to go break your heart some more, go check out the MASTERLIST because everyone worked super hard on these and there are some really amazing writers.
Og, this was supposed to be 3k, and then it just kept going and im suffering ok jesus that was so long. it was also kind of a way for me to get out some of my own inner turmoil around some stuff and i fucking loved writing it. ...not to be lame but yes i did cry writing it (shhh) anyways, i hope you enjoy? as much as you can enjoy angst of course.
         Hawks doesn’t do commitment. He’d said that from the start, that he wasn’t out looking for someone to try and grab his heart from out his chest, that he was simply looking for someone to keep his body company. He told you that he was tired of the press making a big deal of him being single, that all you would have to is hang out with him a bit, dates and couple things. He said that he’d been missing some company, that it would be amazing to have someone to spend some of his (very little) time off of patrol with. It was simple to you, who wouldn’t take the opportunity to be on the arm of a successful pro hero? Who would turn down the chance to learn more about the elusive Hawks, the one who’d baffled the media’s attempts to discover anything about him at all?
         You told yourself you weren’t going to make the mistake of getting attached, he was the number two hero after all, he had so much choice. There was no way you were going to be an idiot about it, this was only for some curiosity about the man.
         You enter the bar, a little awestruck at how clean and upscale it was. Of course, it wasn’t too surprising given the fact that this was the number 2 pro hero. He was bound to have some cash to throw around for a good time, plus he’d already told you that he’d be paying for the night.
         How could you refuse him?
         The night started out slow, the two of you lightly discussing regular day to day topics, but it intrigued you how carefully he spoke about everything. You didn’t really know him but you could’ve sworn that he had a plan with everything that he said, that everything he did was carefully calculated. To be honest, it was a little chilling, but as the alcohol started flowing along with the conversation, he relaxed a bit and you had to admit that he was a really fun person to talk to.
         The two of you had gotten closer in the circular booth as the night had gone on, blaming the loud surroundings and dim light so that you could see and hear each other better. He had this dry wit that left you struggling for breath as you laughed at his jokes and his teasing. He seemed to be enjoying himself too, but honestly, you couldn’t really read him at all.
         It was getting into the wee hours in the morning when the conversation took a more serious turn, the conversation starting to be about what this was, and what this would be.
         He was quite direct that he’d make it worth your while
“No offense, love, but if I’m being completely honest, I’m just not good at relationships. They’re not my thing. But I’m lonely and bored, and honestly? You caught my eye.” He’d said this in a low voice to you at the bar, his breath tickling your ear and you flutter your eyelashes up at him.
         “Are you asking me for a night of fun, Mr. Hawks?” you say coyly.
         “Maybe a night, maybe more if I like you.” He leans in to whisper to you, “You’ve got a pretty good chance babe.”
         “You’re not worried about me not liking you?” you weren’t really taken aback; it was to be expected from the number two hero that if you came to meet him, you were interested in him for sure.
         He leans back, with his hands behind him. “If I’m reading your body language right, and I’m pretty good at that y’know, then I’d say you’ve been pretty excited the whole night.”
         You laugh a bit at that. “Well, you’re not wrong I guess.”
         “Then I have nothing to worry about at all.”
           Your arrangement with Hawks started as a few dates in more secluded public areas, the first being a movie which you’d taken a bus to get too. When you’d gotten there, you went inside like he had asked you too. There, you saw him in the furthest corner, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn’t working well and you had to stifle a giggle as you walked up to him.
         The only reason that people didn’t seem to be coming up to him was the fact that the normally upbeat and friendly hero was closed off, and looking rather downtrodden.
         “Hey, Hawks.” You say, bumping his shoulder with your own playfully. “How’re you doing.”
         “Better now that you’re here,” he smoothly slips his arm into yours, face morphing into a slightly happier expression. “Would you happen to be a fan of popcorn and a drink at the movies, Y/N?”
         “Of course! How can you have one without the other?” He smiles at that, a quick upturn of his lips and its quickly gone again as he guides you to the counter to get some snacks and drinks. It wasn’t supposed to be an incredibly exciting movie, but it was supposed to be decent enough that the two of you could enjoy it together and relax without really having to push through any awkward tension that could still be around with the two of you being relative strangers.
         It was like a neutral ground to start off the fake relationship, while the two of you could learn about one another. It had to look real in public after all, Hawks wanted people off his back.
         Although, the last night the two of you had spent together after the bar had certainly been real. It had also left you so sore you could barely walk the next day, but that was another story for another day.
         The two of you sit down in one of the further rows, but not in the back. You have a good view of the screen; you notice as you sit down with Hawks.  You look over to him, and see that carefully guarded neutral expression on his face again. It’s almost as if there’s a mask he has under the skin of his face, that snaps back into place whenever it falters for a little, or he actually shows something of his true thoughts.
         It was almost eerie how well he did it, how second nature it seemed to him. No wonder the press couldn’t get shit on him, you thought, he’s not exactly an open book to read, and he’s actively trying to make it harder for people. You wondered if it was just because he preferred his privacy or if he had a really big secret that he felt he needed to keep.
         That was almost amusing, thinking the reason Hawks was so mysterious is some large secret that there was pressure on him to keep.
         The opening previews shook you out of your thoughts, seeing one for a book to movie adaptation that was coming out soon and you were super pumped to see. It had your favourite director working on it, and they said they’d worked closely with the author during the script writing process you and were really hopeful that it would turn out well.
         You looked to Hawks to whisper this to him in excitement and he leans over so you could whisper it so as to not disturb the people around you. When you’re done, he turns to whisper back in your ear, “Guess we’ll be back at the movies soon then.” He watches your face become a bright smile, a little heat in your face from excitement and a little embarrassment as he was giving you his full attention as you fangirled a bit.
         The movie was actually pretty decent, you thought during the middle of it. The acting carried the script though, and they were lucky at how much chemistry there was between the actors given most of them hadn’t done movies with each other before. A little way after that, Hawks leaned back in his chair, actually more relaxed than you’d ever seen him before, as he brought his arm back around you. You rolled your eyes at the little cliché he’d performed, but still found it sweet. You could feel the warmth he gave off and it made you feel comfortable and safe.
         After the movie, the two of you parted ways, but not before he gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek, and the promise to see you soon.
         “I’m going to be really busy the next few weeks, so it might be a little while before we can do something like this again.” He warned, “Things are really picking up with criminal activity and such.”
         “If you were going to be so busy you should be at home resting,” you scold, and then your eyes widen in shock at what you’d just blurted out. “I, uh- I mean…” you try to recover but Hawks was laughing hard.
         “Trying to get rid of me so soon? I thought the date was pretty fun, myself.” He teases, seeing what you’ll do next.
         “It was! Just um-, you’ve got to be safe out there and stuff. So, you should get your rest, I would understand if you had to cancel because of that.” You finish a little lamely.
         “That’s very sweet, Y/N, it really is. But honestly? Doing something like this is way more of a recharge for me. Makes me relax a little bit. So, thank you for the nice date. That is if you’ll have me?” he cocks an eyebrow with a crooked smile.
         “Of course, now go get some sleep, bird brain.” He chuckles, and with a wave he’s off, streaking through the air. You’re hit with a bit of a gust of wind, but seeing him fly up close? Totally worth it.
         You turn around and start walking to the bus stop that’ll take you back home, it had been quite a good date and you were in high spirits.
         You could see this whole arrangement working out quite well for you, if that first date was anything to go by.
           The fourth date was the one that he really started to show you what actually lay beneath the mask that he put on all the time. The two of you had been texting over a few weeks, and because he was so busy, a couple short get togethers happened, but this was the first time he had a whole day off for a long time.
         The topics the two of you had been texting about varied to asking simple questions about what kind of tea was your favourite, to what you thought would happen to you after you died. That had been a weird night, but you saw the next day it had been because Hawks had been on patrol and had been unable to completely save people from a villain. It had been one person out of hundreds, but you could feel his guilt through the screen.
         Among the lighter topics though, you found out that Hawks hadn’t really ever learned how to cook or bake. He said that he never learned from anyone, so he mostly did takeout and easy to make meals. You decided it would be fun to teach him how to bake, there were a few sweet treats that were easy enough to do. Certainly, he’d be able to handle it, you thought, especially since he made so many other difficult things look easy.
         Hawks, in fact, could not handle it, you’d later find out.
         The doorbell rings, and you take off your apron that you’d been wearing to get the baking started so that it wouldn’t take as long. There was still a fair amount of work to do, and the icing had to be made. You’re really hoping he enjoys it, it’s a new idea and you’re a little nervous.
You greet him and take his coat to hang it up as he takes off his shoes, he’s wearing cargo pants and unmatching socks, one pink and the other grey, along with a black t-shirt. You let him look around a bit before directing him to the kitchen a little nervously.
“Um, so I was thinking because you said you’d never really baked before that we could try and make a little something?” you’re fiddling with the hem of your shirt as he grabs your hands to stop you from doing that.
“That sounds like a really fun idea, Y/N. It’s really cute.” He gives you a quick smile as you smile at the praise. “Now. What are we making Chef?”
You giggle a bit at that. “I was thinking a carrot cake with some buttercream icing.”
“Well that doesn’t sound easy.” You shush him.
“It is! And I’ve already done some of it, so we can eat it sooner.”
He looks unconvinced. “I don’t know if I can handle this.”
“It’s baking,” you scoff. “You save people for a living, I’m pretty sure you can handle some baking.”
Famous last words, the start wasn’t to bad, Hawks fallowing your instructions carefully. It was when he got confident that he first fucked it up.
“So, now all you have to do is whip this with the blender for a few minutes around the bowl. When it starts getting a thicker consistency let me know, because that’s when you have to hand do it.” You’d decided on cinnamon rolls with a nice smooth icing on top that would become a glaze.
“Got it,” he chirps, putting the metal parts of the hand mixer in the bowl before starting it up and putting to medium high like you’d instructed him to do. “Maybe you were right, sweets, this isn’t too bad.”
“See? Even a bird brain like you can get it!” you laugh.
And then it happened.
After you said that to him, he turned around to give you a playful spank on the ass, forgetting he’d been holding the bowl on the counter in place with his hand. At the same time, he lifted the hand holding the mixer.
You both let out a sharp cry of surprise, you from getting slapped and both of you from the loud crash and the bowl goes flying and the icing gets flung everywhere. You look at him slack-jawed as he frantically turns off the hand mixer and gives you a sheepish look.
“Oops?” he says with a nervous smile.
“Oh. My god.” You get out before you start laughing so hard you’re keeled over, your stomach starting to hurt. “What the fuck Hawks? Hahah! How did you manage to get the bowl to fly that far!”
He scratches his hair and laughs along with you. “I’m actually really unsure, I honestly thought that I was going to get through this without messing it up. Sorry I ruined the icing, Y/N.”
You wave your hand. “It’s fine, cinnamon rolls are still good without the toppings.”
“Hold up.” You turn over and he has a calculating look on his face. “Is this why you did most of the mixing before I got here.”
“Noooooo…… of course not.” You say unconvincingly, knowing he already knows the answer.
“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts, sticking out his bottom lip like a child.
“Hey, but now we can still eat the cinnamon roles! So that’s a good thing.” You say brightly, swiping a bit of the icing with your finger and popping it in your mouth. He looks down at you and for once his eyes crinkle with a genuine smile and your heart skips a beat. He’s absolutely stunning, you think.
“Uh, let’s get – let’s get this all cleaned up, alright?” you get out turning yourself around to distract your thoughts from him. And his eyes, when they crinkle, and oh my god he’s such a cutie, what the fuck?
You somehow manage to avoid acting like a fool for the remainder of the time while the two of you clean up, trading words and jokes with one another, the conversation flowing like a lazy stream.
When they were done you squealed out in excitement and grabbed some mitts to take out the pan but as soon as you open the oven door, some feathers zip in to grab it. You look over at him and he gives you an innocent smile.
“Wouldn’t want you to accidentally drop them.” You scowl.
“I’m not the one who made a mess of the whole kitchen, you dork.”
“Fair enough, where do I put these?”
“Just put the tray on the pads in the dining room, I’m going to make some tea.”
“Alright.”
Once the water is heated, you grab a few different packets to see what he wants, and make your way over to the table with him. You gesture at the tea packets, and he takes the Camomile tea and you open the kettle to let him drop it in.
“Now we just have to wait for the tea to steep and the rolls to cool down! Not too bad if I do say so myself.” You tell him happily. It had been really fun watching him do something so carefree, he seemed more relaxed than normal.
“It was really fun Y/N.” he said with what you thought genuine sincerity. “I never got to really do this before, and it was a lot different than I thought it would be baking with someone.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it Hawks!”
“Uh, you could call me Takami? That’s my family name. Keigo Takami.” He says, stumbling over it a bit, as if the words were trying to rush themselves out of his mouth.
You pour out the tea into the cups you have, and you watch him dive into the rolls, face lit up. He really likes his sweets, and he says how good they are and how he was so amazed he’d had a part in making them.
“Most of the stuff I try to cook either tastes bland, gross, or its burnt.” He mentions offhandedly.
You look at him closely. “Seriously? I’m going to have to teach you how to cook so you can actually get some healthy food into you aren’t I?”
“You don’t have to do that!”
“Yes, I do.” He doesn’t argue with you, knowing that the battle is lost, and accepts it with a sigh.
The two of you finish the night by watching a movie, which leads to something, which leads to something else… It was a pretty awesome date night you think as you drift off to sleep.
           Although doing ‘couple-like’ things in public, you found the two of you were growing closer as friends, at least, outside of any bedrooms. There was something free and liberating about being a friend (with benefits) to Keigo, and you got to glimpse the tiny parts of his life that had physical forms, whether it be photos, or actions or stories.
         The more you learned though, the more you wanted to know more about him, to understand him and be there for him.
         You saw how lonely he actually was, he really wasn’t joking when he’d said that to you on the first night the two of you had seen each other in person. How his life when he wasn’t being the Number Two Hero was empty as if he didn’t really know what to do with it, as if he were lost and didn’t really know himself either.
         The only picture he had of people in his house was one with him, and a middle-aged woman with weary eyes that must’ve been his mother. The photo was a little yellowed, and a little crumpled, but the frame was simple wood with intricate carvings on the side. There was a wooden flower beside it.
         What had happened to him? To his family?
         Sometimes when you called him Keigo as you entered a room and he wasn’t facing you; he would shudder as if someone had a knife pressed to his throat, and there was nothing that he could do about it. Or when sometimes he would dose off and mumble in his sleep for someone to help him, he promises he’d do better next time… You always tried to wake him up gently when that happened, and he’d thank you and then shut down any attempts to talk about it. Every time. Not a single word.
         So, you let it be.
         Obviously, he didn’t know how to not be alone, and it stung you to the very core that nobody else was really there for him.
         Everyone needs a friend, and you were happy to be that friend for him.
           You realized the predicament you were in suddenly one day as you were going into your regular café for your morning coffee, ordering one for yourself and one for the winged hero who you planned to spend some time before patrol with. You didn’t even second guess ordering his coffee just as he liked it, excited to see the smile on his face when you’d give it to him. He’d still get surprised by the little gestures you’d do to show him that you cared, that it wasn’t just a game for you, that you were his friend.
         You hadn’t realized how rare it was to get a genuine smile from him, but you were willing to do so much just to see it. Then it hit you. You wouldn’t go to these lengths for any friend, Keigo was special to you in a way that the other’s in your life weren’t. You think you know what that means, and it terrifies you.
         You knew he didn’t do the whole relationship aspect, he’d said as much, and everything in his life had backed that up as well.
         The barista has to call you a couple times for you to snap you out of your mild panicked thoughts, looking a little annoyed. You quickly apologize, shoving your feelings down and grabbing the coffees hastily as you make your way to the place where he’d be meeting you. You were going to be a couple minutes late, which always made you flustered, and on top of that you were freaking out about trying to keep those emotions you’d buried down there.
         They were not going to see the light of day, you promised yourself that. Maybe you could cram them down so far deep that they’d disappear.
         Ha. As if. You knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, but that was a later problem that you weren’t prepared to deal with right now.
         When you get there, a smile does light up his face as he thanks you, relishing the coffee. The two of you start walking down the street, Hawks waving at people who yell at him, putting on that fake-smile-that-looks-real for people who ask him to join them in a picture, or sign something for them.
         He did it all with patience, but through the cracks you could see the weariness dripping through. The way he put it was that he wanted to do as little work as possible. You assume that’s for this part of the hero business as well.
         “Well, thank you for your support! I’ll be sure to do my best, don’t worry.” He says to a little boy, bending down and flicking his hat, which gets a smile and a giggle from the kid. “Thank you all for your support!” he says loudly as he stands up, and people cheer before easily making their way away from him, the dismissal clear.
         The two of you sip your coffee as you walk down the street. You said you’d go for a quick walk around the city with him before he has to clock in for patrol. While you’re walking, he laces his fingers with yours.
         “You don’t mind, do you?” he mutters under his breath. Your pulse is fluttering but you shake your head no and sip on your coffee. “Good, it’s getting chilly.”
         After you drop him off you can’t help but look at your hand and smile, giggling to yourself a bit as you squeeze your hand. His hand had been so smooth compared to what you thought it would be like, but then again, he didn’t really fight with his fists and he wore gloves. It had felt so good though, the weight of his hand in yours.
           After you noticed how you felt about Keigo though, it became harder and harder to try and ignore the feelings that seemed to bubble up whenever the two of you would talk or text or hang out. Little pangs of excitement would ring out against your will whenever the chime of the ringtone you’d set for him would sound.
         You perk up a little as once again it alerts, going over to read what he sent you.
Keigo: gonna have to be away a little more in the next few weeks -_-
Y/N: aww why :(
Keigo: secret stuff shhhhhh. I gotta go check out some weird villain movement
Y/N: stay safe ok?
Keigo: don’t worry, they won’t catch me im too fast :P
Y/N: srsly if you die ill kill you >:(
           You don’t hear from it at all in the next few weeks, and you didn’t realize how much the two of you had been in contact with, but your days felt strangely empty without the noise that he made so often.
         You missed him, and more than that, you were worried about him so much. Since when did top heroes go on secret assignments? Wasn’t that stuff for the underground heroes to take care of? Why did he sound so calm about it?
         The questions whirled around in your head, day in and day out. The couple of weeks pass in a daze for you, everything seeming out of wack in your life. Part of you was angry at yourself for being so distracted by him, and the other part was busy screaming all the worst-case scenarios that could happen to him. You have nightmares about him injured and bleeding, eyes lifeless. You check your phone at least a few times whenever you can, just seeing if maybe he’s sent a text to you.
         You’ve sent him a few messages here and there, small things like “I hope you’re doing ok!”, or “I miss you”, or “I’m really hoping you’re safe.”
         In the middle of the third week, you hear that chime and you jump up, excited. It’s a short message, but he must be exhausted from his mission, he was away for so long. He asked if you could go over to his apartment sometime soon. Said he needed to talk to you and stuff. His text was short and to the point, he seemed nervous about something.
         Some of the worries had disappeared at the ringing noise came creeping back at that, but you responded that you would whenever you were both free. He said that he’d be off of work for a little while, which was concerning, so you were going over tomorrow. You settled in for a rough night.
           What were you supposed to bring to someone’s house when they had been tossed into secret mission to track down some dangerous villains and were most likely injured? There wasn’t a handguide on that unfortunately, but you did know that he loved one of the soups you had made one time. So, you made some in the morning when you got up, put it in a container and on your way to his apartment for lunch.
         Hopefully that would be acceptable, even though you knew Keigo didn’t really care that much about pomp and other gifts. You think he was grateful to have some company, he loved being on the move and sitting still for a long time would be a special type of hell.
         So, you wanted to do something nice for him.
         In all honesty, you didn’t think it would be that bad when he opened the door with a bruised and cut face, as well as an arm sling with his ribs all bandaged up.
         “Oh my god!” you screamed, your free hands flying up to your face. “What the hell happened to you!” he shushes you and pulls you into the apartment.
         “Not so loud! It’s not public!” he chastises you.
         “Oh, right sorry. I’m just – Keigo, what happened to you? You disappear for almost three full weeks and you come back looking as if someone used you as a punching bag.”
         “Surprisingly enough, that metaphor is rather accurate.” You feel your eyes bugging out of your head and he sees that. “Hey! Don’t worry, this isn’t the worse I’ve been beaten up- Oh god that’s probably not comforting.”
         “No, it isn’t! Is there anything you can tell me?” you plead.
         He shakes his head sadly, pretending to zip up his lips and lock them. “But I can tell you that I’ll be back to normal in about a week or so. I could also tell you about the people I met that weren’t y’know, villains. And you brought soup! You’re the best dove.” You blush a little at the new nickname, but you did notice that the nervousness he’d had when he’d been texting with was definitely still there and it put you off a little bit.
         The two of you ate, the only sounds coming from eating, and the brief comments that Keigo was giving about where he’d been. You nodded in interest, interjecting every once and a while to ask a question for detail.
         After the meal, the two of you sat down together in silence until Keigo cleared his throat.
         “Can I talk to you about something more serious?” You nodded, here came what he’d been stressing about since last night. “God, ok this is harder than I thought for some reason.” He gives a dry chuckle. You stay silent. “Um, I think we’re going to have to take a break from the whole ‘side benefits’ we got going along, you okay with that, dove?” ah. So, this was it. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. But at least you knew what, now you wanted to hear the why.
         But Keigo was fickle, he didn’t like being backed into a corner. If you would’ve directly asked, you’d get no answer that would satisfy you. So you sit their with your heart falling out of your chest.
         “I mean, if that’s what you want.” You say as neutrally as possible, trying to hide the hurt from your features. It didn’t work as well as you planned based on Keigo’s scowl.
         “You’ve got to talk to me, what about that makes you upset?”
         “It’s nothing, I’ll get over it. I knew this wouldn’t last forever.” You mutter, trying to shrug him off. At least this way you could get over him, maybe.
         “I did say no guarantees at the beginning,” he frowns. It felt like he was rubbing it into your face, and it fucking stung like a cut being washed with rubbing alcohol. “I told you that I’m not good with this whole interpersonal thing.”
         “Yeah, I fucking know that!” each word was like a sting, and your voice echoes in the empty apartment. “Can you at least tell me why.” You hate that your voice cracks on that last sentence.
“There’s this someone I’ve been talking too, when I was out there. A little rough around the edges, but really fucking amazing. I was trying to slip into their friend group you know? Turns out we felt the same way.”
         You feel your heart drop out of your chest and into your stomach. “Wow, Keigo! That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you!” you hear yourself say. The words ring hollow, but he’s so wrapped up in his excitement that for once, he doesn’t notice.
         “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” he enthuses, impassioned. “It’s like a totally different wavelength you know.” His feathers were doing this cute little ruffling, and your heart ached. You had to keep your hand back from going to smooth them. Some nights, when the two of you were just hanging out and relaxing, he’d let you smooth them out. He said it felt good, and the texture always made you feel calm.
         You needed some of that calm right now.
         “I’m glad you found someone then.” And you really were, you knew how alone he was. You were happy he found someone he liked. You just wish it had been you.
           You think it was some type of torture, watching Keigo fall in love with someone else. The way he’d talk with his eyes lighting up, the way that he’d do that thing where his feathers would ruffle when he’d think of them with a dopey smile on his face when he thinks you’re too occupied to pay attention to him.
         It fucking killed you when it happens, although you made no effort to break away from him. You couldn’t. You knew that he needed you there, he’d said as much with his small actions, the way he thanked you every time you spent time with him.
         You wondered what you had done to deserve this.
           Eventually, it was too much for you too handle, when he’d started leaving the city more often to go visit them, you started making excuses for why you didn’t have as much time for him in the few weeks.
         “Works really busy this week sorry.”
         “Oh, I’m sick, and I wouldn’t want you to catch it”
         “I’m sorry I’m really tired, I can’t hang out today.
You couldn’t get over him, and you couldn’t tell him either. It seems you could do nothing but ache while he prospered.
It was hard, making distance. You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had gotten, and you hadn’t realized that you had needed him as much as he needed you.
         The phone rings and you see the caller.
         Of course, it’s him. It seems no matter how you try to distance yourself you can’t really get away from him. It always seems like you’re in his wingspan. Always in his reach.
         You pick up the phone, “Hey Keigo! What’s up.”
           You were a fucking fool. Keigo might’ve been the one with the wings, but you’d flown too close to the sun that you’d wanted to see and learn about. The sun that you’d wanted to bask in the warmth in and claim as your own.
         You’d forgotten one of the first things that he’d texted you.
         It hurt so bad.
         You were such an idiot.
           At first when Keigo said he’d been dumped a few months later; you didn’t believe him. Who the fuck would tell Hawks that he wasn’t good enough for them?
         “Ha-ha, very funny joke Keigo.” You say sarcastically. “Don’t stand there out in the rain, idiot.” You gesture for him to come inside.
         He makes his way over the doorstep, eyes unfocused as if he hadn’t even noticed the fact that it was raining. He wordlessly hands you his phone, and you gasp at the text that he’d been sent.
         They said he couldn’t be trusted, that they didn’t want to work to get him to open himself up, that even he wasn’t worth the amount of effort they’d need to use in order to actually get to know him.
         “Still don’t believe me?” His voice cracks on the last word, as he takes a deep breath to compose himself.
         “Fuck, Keigo. I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I’m so sorry.” You bring him in, sit him down and go grab him a towel with some old clothes one of your exes had left in your home when you’d broken up.
         You hand it to him and tell him to shower if he wants to, but at least put some dry clothes on. He listlessly follows your instructions, and you’ve never seen him look so dull. It scared you. While he’s busy though – you vaguely hear your shower in the background get turned on – as you put some tea on. Chamomile, his first choice all those months ago. It was his comfort tea. You also slipped into your room to grab the softest blanket you had.
         You waited about half an hour for him, so you turned on the gas fireplace in the room, warming yourself and staring into the flames as you waited.
         Who would say something so terrible?
         You’d never met his partner, Keigo was secretive at the best of times, but when it came to people, he was especially paranoid. You knew it was because he’d amassed enemies in his years as a pro, but sometimes it was frustrating to deal with.
         However, they must have been truly awful to say something like that.
         You wonder if they would’ve said that stuff if they’d seen the empty apartment, bare of most things that gave a house a character. The lone photo which looked to be at least a decade, maybe closer to two, years old.
         You wonder if they had seen past the mask too, and if that had scared them. Or maybe they hadn’t even noticed it in the first place given the wording of the final text. You knew the pain Keigo was going through, you lived through it every. Single. Day.
         You hated seeing it, but a small selfish part of you celebrated the fact that you had a chance again.
         Pathetic.
         You place your head in your hands, trying to clean your thoughts. You needed to be here for him again, and you were going to be.
         When he walks into the room, he notices you and slumps down into the couch, his eyes red, and his jaw clenched.
         But he wasn’t crying, and it didn’t look like he had either. The rest of his face would be messed up and red if that were the case.
         “You can let it out, Keigo.” You put a hand on his arm and rubbed comforting circles into his back, trying to ease him through it. “You don’t have to keep everything bottled up inside.”
         He laughs bitterly at that, and you’re taken aback. “Yeah, actually, I do. But I appreciate the sentiment.”
         “Alright. Then we can just rest, and have some tea, maybe put on some calming music. Does that sound good to you?”
         He nods, he can’t look up at you though. “Thanks, Y/N.”
         “No problem, Keigo. Be right back.”
         When you do come back, he’s just laying there, staring blankly in front of him. He looks lost and confused.
         “Have you ever felt like this,” he asks in a soft voice. A surge of anger hits you, after all this time he still hasn’t noticed. But you push it down and clear your throat instead.
         “Yeah. I’ve felt like that a lot in my life.”
         “I’m sorry.” He states simply. “It’s awful.”
         “Yeah,” you agree.
         The rest of the night the two of you sit quietly, sipping tea and listening to music. At some point the two of you end up sleeping on one another.
           The weeks pass, and Keigo starts to recover, as that starts to happen, the two of you start to slip back into your previous relationship. You know it’s a mistake, but you don’t stop it. You almost encourage it, because it feels good. It feels like he actually wants you and you can believe it for a few moments before it comes crashing down around you. You know you’re a rebound, even if Keigo himself doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing.
         So, there he is again, using you as a way to fill his life up to make up for the something he can’t have. Coping with his issues by having someone he could distract himself with, that he trusted and knew cared about his wellbeing.
         You wish you could say you hated it. But then you’d be a liar.
         Because you would take any of the time that he was willing to give to you. You were in deep, and you knew that, just wished you would have a way that you could stop it, rather than just going along for the ride, and hoping that he didn’t completely destroy your heart.
         Although that possibility seemed to be more and more likely these days.
           One day, you realize that you can’t do this anymore.
         One day, you think that you’re not going to allow yourself to do this to yourself or him anymore.
One day you decide that you have to take a full step back. No half done measures this time, the next time he called, you weren’t answering, and you weren’t listening. Maybe taking a complete break from the winged hero would somehow allow you to get over your feelings for him. Maybe the separation would do you some good, you could try and meet some new people, hang out with older friends.
         You have a plan, a way to bring it up to him, to say that you can’t do the whole song and dance with him anymore, you can’t play around because it’s messing with your head. You plan on telling him that you just need some space to rest and recover, and that you’ll be fine in a little while.
         It doesn’t happen that way.
         You’re in his apartment and you’re both eating some takeout, you’ve been on edge the entire night, and of course Keigo notices. He tries to tell you a few happy stories he’s seen that day, tries to give you space to relax. He leans in to kiss you and you panic.
         You jump up and say “I have to leave!” in a really panicked voice.
         “Woah hey, what the fuck’s going on?” He stands up, walking after you.
         “I just, I had a way to tell you- and I’m not ready and fuck I wish I didn’t have to say this but I just can’t do it!” You’re rambling, you know that, but you can’t seem to get your thoughts together, they’re bouncing around your head, refusing to slow down so you can’t catch them, and you’re sitting there panicking.
         “You need to talk to me,” he shouts, breaking you out of your daze.
         “I can’t do this anymore!” you cry out, all the bottled pain spilling up and gushing out. You can’t stop it, and you keep going. “I fell for you in week three, Keigo. WEEK THREE of our arrangement. And guess what! I still fucking love you, you absolute moron! You didn’t notice SHIT, and I didn’t say anything because I knew you didn’t feel the same way, but I knew you needed someone. And sometimes I fucking wish I didn’t, that I spoke up for myself and said something sooner because it’s brought me nothing but heartbreak after heartbreak, and so much insecurity!”
         He looks at you shocked. “Wait… you, but?”
         You laugh, a little hysterically, all the emotions bubbling over. There’s a strange sense of relief. It’s all out in the open now. “Fucking tell the press! I finally found the way to make the Hawks absolutely speechless!”
         “Wait, hold up, you need to slow down. I’m trying to understand what’s going on, and you aren’t exactly making this easier.” His eyes are wide, you’ve never seen him so completely and utterly lost. That was the final straw for you, and you start sobbing, tears streaming down your face as you try to keep your wails of pain inside.
         You put yourself together in silence, his sharp eyes trained on you, you can feel it. Your sobs and sniffles grow less and less frequent as you gain control.
         “I need space Keigo. I need to have space so I can get over you properly, and I couldn’t do it before, I thought I could! I just need to sort everything out, please.” You’re pleading with him, your voice drained and emotionless. “Just, don’t contact me please. Let me” You walk away before he can even answer, leaving him dumbfounded.
         He grabs your arm before you reach the door, a little rougher than he usually is. “You don’t get to say all these things without even giving me a chance to respond!” His usually calm exterior is flustered, a little unhinged with panic and anger.
         “I can! I told you how I feel! Nothing you say will be able to change how I feel right now Keigo! Nothing!” you feel your heart ripping to shreds as you see, for the first time in your one on one time in months, the mask returning as he looks it over too.
         “Got it.” He says short and clipped off. “Thanks for just cutting me off like everyone else did. Get the fuck out of my apartment.”
         You go, quietly, unable to look him in the eye. The door slams behind you, with an ominous thud.
           The first time you gather up the courage to call him again to apologize, he doesn’t pick up. You expected that. You were hoping for that because you weren’t sure if you had the strength to say it to him.
         You tell him you’re sorry. You tell him you know you made mistakes, that you knew you didn’t communicate right and you should’ve trusted him with that. You tell him you miss him because you do. He’d wormed his way into the cracks in your heart that he’d had a part in making.
         You tell him you want to have a place in his life, and that he still has a place in yours, but you’re not ready yet.
         You don’t know if he got it until he calls you back. He leaves a message for you this time as you were in the shower when it rang.
         He tells you he understands now, even though it hurt like hell. He says he’s going to give you space, but would still leave you messages every once in a while. He says that of course you’re going to have a place in his life. He says that you’re the only person in a long time that had even bothered to get to see what was underneath his persona. He says that when you’re ready, to either call him back, or answer one of his calls.
         So that’s how it happens. On some good days and some bad days, Keigo calls you. You listen to every single one, multiple times. Your feelings don’t die down though. You don’t know what else you can do but wait. The sad messages tear at your heart, but you know you can’t be there for him right now properly.
         One of them you can’t help but hear and think that you need to call him, need to reach out to him. He’d sounded desperate in a way you hadn’t heard from him before and it chilled you down to the bone.
         But you don’t. You’re too scared of what you’ll do or say.
         On one of the days where you can’t sleep, you sit and stare at your ceiling, thinking about nothing much. Idle thoughts about the project you were working on, what you had to stock up on the next time you went shopping, the puzzle that you’d gotten stuck on in the current level of your video game.
         That’s when the ringing broke out on your bedside table. That ringtone. You still loved him, and he never called this late. You picked up the phone.
         “It’s two am, I know that, but I need you Y/N…”
         “Hawks? What’s going on. Are you ok?”
         He laughs loudly, “Fuck, no. Can I come over?” He almost manages to hide the waver in his voice.
         You sigh, putting a hand to your temple. “I’m sorry, but you can’t come to me anymore, you know that.” You say it softly.
         “You picked up.”
         “I did.”
         “You still love me.”
         “Goddamn it Keigo, yes! Is that what you really wanted to hear right now at two in the morning?”
         His tone switches to serious. “No. That’s not it at all. Please. It’s important.”
         “I could just hang up.”
         “You won’t.”
         You let out a stream of curses that would make a sailor blush.
         “Fine.” You give in with a groan and the starting of a stress headache. “I’m leaving the door unlocked for 10 minutes. That’s all you have.”
         “That’s way more than I need.” You hear the click of the receiver tone and you move your ass out of bed, going to go unlock the door. There you wait in your pjs, your arms crossed glaring at the door and daring it to open.
         Before the 10 minutes is up, it defies you and clicks open, and in he comes.
         “Hey.” He just looks at you, and he looks exhausted. “Thanks for listening.”
         You resist the urge to just run up to him and take him into your arms. He’d feel so good to cuddle. Instead you say in a wary voice; “What do you want Keigo, it’s late and I’m tired.”
         “I know,” he whispers. “I am too, but.” He swallows hard. “I needed to see you before. Before everything gets fucked up.”
         “What the hell are you talking about? And close the door it’s cold outside.” He follows your instructions without complaint and quietly.
         “You’re going to want to be sitting down for this,” he warns.
         You can see he’s not playing around, so you heed him and sit on the couch, and he sits on the chair, dragging it over so he’s opposite you.
         “First off. An explanation of what I mean.” You gesture at him to carry on. “Remember those villains I had to check up on? Well, they were actually mobilizing an attack on the Hero Commission HQ which is in the city.”
         “No way, seriously?” you can’t believe that they would get that bold so soon. It was insane, and yet, you believed it.
         “Well yeah. I came by to warn you, because there’s going to be so much chaos, and in that chaos, it’s more likely for you to either die or get hurt.” Your hands found their way to your hair, brushing through it nervously. “Hey, hey, listen Y/N” he goes to hold your shoulder’s and looks you in the eye. “The heroes have been preparing for a few months now, taking out some of the villains they can. Everyone’s going to have a much better chance of survival. But staying inside and not opening to door for anyone? That’s going to keep you safest. Understand?” You nod.
         Something niggled at the back of your mind though. “You said first thing.”
         “Yeah…”
         “Well? Are you going to tell me?”
         “You’re going to slap me.”
         “Well that’s not a fucking good sign.”
         He rubs the back of his neck. “Well, I figured out why you’d shocked me so much with what you’d said. When we went our separate ways for a little while.”
��        You felt your stomach sink. This couldn’t be good, why did he have to bring that up now. “Yeah?”
         “I didn’t trust my partner with anything that I’d shown you. You were the only person I’ve opened up too since… well a long time let’s put it like that. I haven’t really actually let myself feel things for a while, so I misunderstood them. I thought they were hot; I liked the look and the way they talked. I wasn’t falling love with them. I was in love with you the whole time and I didn’t realize it.” You felt like your heart stopped beating.
         “Keigo?”
         “Yes?”
         “You didn’t think to actually say that in one of your fucking messages?”
         “I didn’t think you were ready to hear it.”
         “I mean maybe not, but it would’ve saved a lot of headache!”
         “I’m sorry.” He says, “I’m learning, but I’m trying my best if you’ll take me?”
         “Of course, I will you stupid bird. It’s going to take work, but I know where I went wrong.”
         “Me too. I believe in us. Heh, us. I like the sound of that.” He has a goofy smile on his face.
         “Oh my god you’re such a dork.” You lean up to press a light kiss on his lips, which he eagerly responds too. “You look exhausted though. Let’s get you into bed, so you can protect the city hero.”
         “Sounds amazing to me.” He follows you into the room, stripping down and snuggling you.
         “I’m likely going to be gone by the time you wake up, y’know?”
         You sigh. “You better not die on me or I’ll kill you.”
         “For you? I’ll stay as safe as possible.”
         “Good.”
           The next day, everything was in chaos, just like Keigo had said it would be. You didn’t even need to leave your house to know that. You saw it on your phone screen as you stayed hidden in your closet, to terrified to move or do anything else. A couple buildings had fallen near you, but luckily your building had stayed safe.
         You don’t remember much else about that day. Fear. Praying that the people you cared about would be safe. Darkness. The sounds of massive explosions and destruction.
         Terrible.
           There were massive body counts of all different people, with varying quirks, lives, beliefs and goals. The damage was catastrophic. You almost couldn’t believe that it had been better than what would’ve happened if there wasn’t early intel and missions.
         You noticed though, that everyone was treated the same in death. Hero, civilian, villain, vigilante, all of them were buried properly, paid for by the Commission themselves. Some of the villains had escaped, there were lots more dead hero students than people wanted to admit, and everyone was more beaten down and broken than before.
         But…
         Nobody had seen or heard anything about Hawks though. It was as if he’d simply vanished into thin air, and the only thing that kept you sane? They hadn’t found his body.
         What about that cremation guy? The traitorous voice in your head spoke out. You told it to fuck off.
         Hawks, Keigo, was not dead. He couldn’t be. You’d finally reached an understanding!
         You refused to allow the possibility in your mind.
           It was a week later when you finally got some news. There was a call from the hospital, and you immediately, you picked up.
         “Is this Y/N Y/LN?”
         “Yes,” you practically shout. “Yes, I am.” You say a bit softer.
         “I’m calling about a Keigo Takami? Do you know this man?”
         “Yes, yes, I do, please is he alive?” you can’t keep the desperation from your voice.
         There’s a pause. “…Yes. He is alive. They’re trying to test to see what the extent of the damage is. You were the only other person other than his mother to be on his emergency contact list, yet you have no relation to him, were you aware of this?”
         “Yes,” the lie comes easily, despite the surprise bubbling up.
         He gives you the address and you promise to be there as soon as you can. You can deal with this, you think, he’s alive and so the two of you can work on it and fix it together like you’d planned.
         Except you couldn’t.
         Little to no brain function, they said. Halfway done the process to become a host body for a new nomu, they said. How were you supposed to fix everything together if Keigo was right there, but also completely gone?
         You collapsed into the chair beside his bed, looking over at him. The man you’d loved for over half a year. The doctors went silent, all of them leaving except for one, who stood silently. You reached out and held his hand in yours. Still softer and smoother than what a pro hero’s hand should be like. Still warm, like the first time you’d held it. You could even feel his pulse.
         It was almost funny; you were finished before the two of you even got started. You couldn’t even say that the two of you had ever truly been together, but that’s what made it hurt more, you think. Nobody would believe you, a random nobody? Dating the number two pro hero? Yeah what an attention whore.
         You sat there, tears building in your eyes, and spilling out
         “Keigo, please just give me one more message?” you whisper, crying harder now. “I’ll be waiting for it, so you better call me when you’re ready, because I’ll be waiting for you.”
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