You know, falling in love isn’t bad or wrong or even hard. It’s actually really simple, even if there’s no reciprocation. It’s the falling out that’s hard, but no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, reciprocation is important. It’s what keeps the love going. Without it, love just dies out, and then it’s up to you. Do you bury it, or do you carry the dead body around? It’s a hard decision to make, but you have to do it.
And when you fall for someone you shouldn't have, you remember it. And everyone else remembers it as well. And the thing about everyone else remembering is that they don’t ever forget it. And they don’t let you forget it, either. They make you realize that you've done something you shouldn't have. They make it a crime.
But love isn't a crime. Not to me. Love isn't about age, gender or looks. Love isn't about asking someone to love you back. It's about loving. It's about finding that one thing you love and letting it kill you because you're going to die anyway. And what better way to go than at the hands of someone you love.
To love someone is firstly to confess; you have to be prepared to be devastated by them.
And I'm already devastated by him.
And it's not necessary that he loves me too; it's my love, it can be one sided. And I don't even want him to love me back, I just want him to tell me how much do you have to love someone so that they don’t love anyone else. And I'll love him that much. And it'd be enough.
And if he ever asks me what I can do for him in love, it would be that I'll stay. And if he wants to leave and I can't make him stay then I'll let him go. It's love--you can't force it on someone. The best you can do is make sure they know you love them and you're going to be there, always.
And if cutting me off helps his life in any way, I support it.
Ok so like OFMD has genuinely affected me in a way that I can’t explain. But I’ll try.
The closest thing to it for me, was Star Trek DS9, another show about a crew of misfits.
But like, Our Flag Means Death goes out to all the real misfits. The genuinely uncool, neurodivergent, insecure, introverted, weird, loud, unconventional, strange, loving odd balls.
Everybody in the show is supremely uncool in the coolest way. And even the badasses have tender underbellies of trauma.
It wasn’t a show made by normal people to show off some stylised hot ‘outcasts’ that are written to be bullied by caricatures of “cool kids” OFMD actually tackles the systemic way that different people are bullied and tortured by society and then it puts them in a literal safe space together and let’s them just completely be themselves and celebrates them for it.
They aren’t hotties with glasses that just need to be removed before *gasp* they were supermodels all along?! They are skinny, fat, flabby, wrinkly, freckled, scarred, humans with human bodies. They find each other attractive all the same and nobody is ever mocked for being into one another. You know how easy it’d be to mock Lucius for being into Black Pete?
No other show would let Lucius and Black Pete have a tender sweet romance. OFMD did. It never plays their love for laughs or makes jokes about Pete obviously not looking like a supermodel. It praises and celebrates their love. They call each other sweetie and babe and that’s NOT the joke. That’s dead serious. They have pet names, they kiss, snuggle together and have sex and that is NEVER mocked by the show. And the one time a character does try to mock them for it they look like a total jack ass for it. AMAZING!
Oluwande is allowed to be the sweet voice of reason, he’s celebrated and loved, and allowed to have a deep romance with Jim. And Jim is such a badass and it’s so nice to see them be the only competent member of the crew especially when most non-binary characters are treated like wounded kittens in media. There was no “oh you poor thing being different is so hard” Jim doesn’t want your fucking sympathy they want to kick ass and take names!!
Buttons and the Swede aren’t mocked or called stupid. People never attack their intelligence or social skills. The crew respectfully work with them and engages with them on their level and given the chance to shine; Buttons and the Swede prove time and time again to be surprisingly talented, competent and useful members of the crew. Again it would be so easy to make “idiot” jokes but the show never does.
And the fact that Stedes soft masculinity is not only accepted and celebrated but also never encouraged to change. Stede learns and grows as a character but he never looses his frills and lace. He’s no less effeminate or goofy or enthusiastic. He’s still a human puppy by the end of the show, he’s just gotten smarter about who to trust and protect those he loves.
And god damn seeing Ed be a stand in for those of us that have learnt to mask our weirdness. Those who have figured out how to fit in and have even become “popular” or successful ourselves, but feel trapped by this hyper conformist image we’ve built. The catharsis of seeing Ed become himself and fall in love.
All of it. Just all of it. The show is funny but never mean spirited. It never puts its characters down for being themselves. And that’s so important. I can think of so many shows where the joke is “haha they are weird and different that’s hilarious I’m glad I’m not those losers!” instead OFMD’s jokes run more in the vein of “how adorable is it that they are so passionate about this thing? How funny is it that everything went wrong while trying to achieve it?” You laugh with them, you cry with them and it feels like you’re apart of the crew.
Their success reminds you of the times somebody just like you let the walls down and you connected for the first time and realized there were others like you out there. Their failures remind you of your own, that time you got a little too passionate about your hyperfocus subject. That time you tried to pull together a play with other kids your age in kindergarten and they just didn’t get it. The time you tried to do something cool and fell flat on your face in front of everybody.
That’s these guys, that’s this crew. It’s just us. And you want everything for them, because like you, if they were real they’d listen to your insane ramblings with heart eyes and get everybody together to realize your dream just like you’d do for them. They’d get excited by your excitement even if they don’t get your particular passion.
They are the most lovely, kind hearted, passionate, optimistic, endearing, joyous, considerate, and bat shit crazy characters ever put to screen and my heart swells when I watch them.
OFMD has reminded me why I went into the film industry and why I do my job in production coordination. It has very literally brought a spark of light back in my life and I can’t thank it enough for existing exactly the way it is.
¡Buenas noches Señorita Mapache! ¡Luce muy hermosa el día de hoy! Y estoy seguro de que lucirá un poquito más bella el día de mañana. Espero que haya tenido un excelente día y que la vida la haya tratado bien, y si no, no se preocupe, porque tengo la seguridad en mi corazoncito de que usted está dando todo de sí misma, que cada día se esfuerza mucho y tiene que saber que ese esfuerzo es reconocido y será recompensado. Gracias por estar aquí nuevamente, leyéndome y sobre todo gracias por seguir luchando.
Este es un día especial… Se cumplen 15 días desde que inició este reto y no puedo evitar sentirme nuevamente enamorado. Tener esa sensación que nos ha rodeado desde que iniciamos esta aventura hace algunos meses y que no sea sólo igual, sino que mucho más intensa que en ese entonces, pues… Me resulta bastante complicado pensar en tu carita y no sonreír. Me cuesta mucho no ver posts de goals en FB, videos de parejas en tiktok o escuchar canciones románticas sin recordarte y pensar “no puedo esperar a que ese momento llegue y vivamos así”. Me siento mucho más enamorado, todos los días un poquito más…
Es por eso que este día es distinto, y en esta carta quiero hacer algo diferente y dirigirme directamente a ti, que me estás leyendo, para abrirte mi corazón una vez más y sepas que las palabras que en este pedazo de papel estoy trazando vienen desde lo más profundo de mi ser, sin formalidades, sin ambigüedades… Sólo yo siendo yo mismo contigo, como siempre lo he sido.
Tengo que admitir desde ahora que sé que no he sido el novio perfecto… Cada día me levando con la esperanza de lograr algo bueno, sacarte una sonrisa, que por alguna razón sin importancia te encuentres a ti misma sonriendo al pensar en algo que hicimos juntos. Me levanto cada día súper temprano para dar lo mejor de mí e intentar hacer que te sientas orgullosa de mí… Que te sientas orgullosa de estar conmigo, tanto como yo me siento de estarlo contigo.
¿La luz? Para mí… Sin duda, es verte sonreír… Verte sonreír y escucharte reír es, de verdad, eso que me ilumina mi mundo y mi día, lo más bello que existe sobre la tierra y es lo que más me hace feliz. Entiendo que la realidad no siempre es color de rosa y que no todos los momentos que podemos llegar a pasar van a ser alegres, lo reconozco, por lo que sé no siempre estarás feliz, alegre o contenta, hay cosas que nada ni nadie puede evitar, pero… Quiero estar ahí para ti cuando esos momentos lleguen. Quiero estar contigo cuando caigas y tumbarme yo contigo, que nos levantamos juntos cuando estés lista para volver a subir, secar tus lágrimas cuando no puedas dejar de llorar, ser quien sepas que nunca se va a ir y que nunca te va a atar ni a encarcelar.
Te admiro como no tienes una idea. Porque eres la persona más cabrona, más fuerte, resiliente, inteligente, poderosa. Te admiro porque has pasado por cosas por las que muchas personas (en realidad casi nadie) ha pasado y, aunque con cicatrices de las duras batallas a las que te has enfrentado, sigues aquí, de pie. Te admiro porque aunque esas cicatrices te marcaron, no dejaste que marcaran quién eres tú, porque a pesar de todo, eres una persona dulce, amable, dedicada, cuidadosa, amorosa, sensible. Te admiro porque aunque muchas veces la noche estuvo muy oscura, nunca has dejado ni nunca dejarás de brillar.
Te amo por la persona quien eres… Te amo porque con tan solo verte o escucharte, iluminas mi día. Te amo por la persona quien eres, por la forma en cómo te emocionas con las cosas que te gustan y das un grito agudo cuando escuchas a Kim Nam-joon cantar sus líneas de rap cuando vamos en el carro… O la forma en cómo lloras de la emoción cuando vemos una película romántica… Por la forma en cómo bostezas cuando te sientes cansada y que aún con sueño no dejas de ser tan directa con lo que quieres. Te amo cuando me muestras los outfits que te gustan y cuando te vistes como a ti te gusta y luces tan radiante y tan hermosa que sé que eres la única persona en el mundo que lucirá así de hermosa. Te amo en tu libertad, en tu decisión, en tu forma tan tuya de ser. Te amo como eres…
Te amo porque, por alguna razón que todavía no entiendo… Logras hacerme sentir como un niño pequeño… Porque me has conectado a una parte de mí que creía muerta… Porque me cuidas tanto como yo te cuido a ti
Y te lo tengo que decir desde ya… Desde que estás en mi vida, mi corazón es un lugar más acogedor y cómodo en dónde estar…
Gracias por ser la luz en mi vida…
Siempre tuyo – Aidoneo
“Quiero ser la luz en tu camino, sol en la noche, agua dulce en el mar”
There is absolutely no doubt within my heart, that I am meant to be with you and you to be with me.
For the first time my mind & heart have aligned on the same principle in agreeance. There is no shaking, no doubts, no disbelief and the trust is true.
I can breathe easily without the care of the world's pain. I am focused, devoted with eyes only for you. For once in my lifetime I do not care for others quarrels and judgements, I am honest and filled with what is supposedly 'integrity,' it is unusal and im learning day by day.
But what I do not need to learn is the feeling, the gravitational pull I am witnessing. Let me harness this energy and fulfill my devotion, cause and love for all that is you.
I trust you, I love you.
I do not believe I'll find another like you, another like us.
Eternity forever beats to the tune of your heartbeat my love and I will fill this with my love forever. A certain melody graces my soul and yes, that melody is your heartbeat.. a timeless sound, forever.
remembering the days when she used to peak through the window glasses for a glance of him. Waiting for hours and hours with eyes wide open, just to take a look of that loving face of him. As after certain time, she get to know his Park going time. She just waits at the park for him. Neither did she talked or none a gesture to tell him that she likes him. But those romantic eyes tells him that she's in love. Day after day their conversation increased and so did their immense love for each other. Every evening at the corner of the park where there is huge bushes present to have some privacy to meet. She dressed up in her long brown gown and he in his black and brown coat meets each other. They realized this relationship should be named.
The man proposed her. She with her rosy cheeks nodded for a yes. All her childhood weeding dreams got real. Marrying with her dream man in real. They celebrated their marriage in the states with Kings and Queens as a guest. Afterall she was proud that she was marrying a soldier. Who would fought for the nation one day. But the little did she know that her first love was never meant all the promises. As the war broke down, the distance between those two elevates. During the day she waits for him to came back all loving and young as she saw him at first. All nights she use to cry under those soft velvety blanket knowing the war could take his man forever. Writing long love notes, pressing kisses and flowers were being the only attachment they had. Looking at the mail box with that gloomy face with a enlivened heart. Those love letters were so precious, she caresses the old torn page like it had his lovers soul. Her heart instantly chooses to be bright and hopeful.
With the calmness and tranquility she drifted into sleep still in the fear of loosing him. But her butterflies world broke apart when the love letters changes to martyred note. Knowing her love of her life now never existed. That he broke the promise to die and live together. Sorrowness that only twenty three years of her age, she already lost the most salient person of her life. Yet, with immense pride in her heart she cried off.