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sluttywonwoo · 4 days

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instead of you [part forty-one] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, angst, alcohol consumption, smut (18+ ; mdni)

word count: 3.2k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

additional smut warnings: semi-public messing around, oral - m+f receiving

The other resorts along the shore were nice, yes, but they were also crowded to all hell. There’s no way you would have been able to relax at any of them. Not just because crowds make you anxious, but because Minho probably wouldn’t be able to show his face anywhere. He’d have to wear a hoodie to the pool or swim with a baseball cap on, and even those weren’t guaranteed to be foolproof.

There were hardly any people occupying the outdoor spaces so late in the day so it was like you had the place to yourselves. You and Felix continued to play in the pool while Minho grilled steaks and Jisung worked upstairs. You offered to accompany Jisung while he cooked but he assured you that he was fine to do it himself. Sometimes you kept him company at home but you knew he liked to work alone as well.

The room that you and Jisung were staying in was a standard hotel room but Nikki and Dom had a suite with a kitchenette that he could use to prepare the side dishes.

You ate gathered around one of the fire pits as the sun sank beneath the waves in the distance. When it got too dark out, Dom lit the fire so that you could all see what you were eating. There were path lights littered around the resort but they weren’t bright enough to illuminate the adjacent sitting areas too.

“I wish we had marshmallows,” you sighed. “We could roast them and make s’mores.”

“I think the bar sells little kits,” Jisung piped up. “I remember seeing a sign posted on their menu.”

“How convenient!” Nikki exclaimed.

“Want me to grab some?” Minho offered, already standing from his seat.

You had once again put yourself on the spot. Everyone was looking at you, waiting for your answer.

“I-I’d feel bad. I’m the only one who wants them, so you don’t have to!”

“Don’t be silly, we’d all eat them,” Jisung assured you with a pat on your knee.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to try s’mores,” Felix agreed.

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait, you’ve never had one?”

“They’re an American thing, babe.”

“Does that mean you’re the only other one here who has had a s’more?” you asked Jisung.

“I might have had one before,” Minho added thoughtfully.

“Might? You don’t remember?”

“Yeah, well, when we were on the first world tour we had a lot of bonfires and shit but I was pretty drunk at all of them so there could have been s’mores there, there could not have been. I dunno.”

“Anyway,” Nikki swooped in, averting the attention away from her eldest son’s anecdotes of underage drinking. “Minho, why don’t you go grab a few kits from the bar Ji mentioned? I think your father and I would like to try a s’more too.”

“How many do you think we need?” Minho asked.

“It depends on how many each serves. Why don’t we start with two and if we run out of supplies we can send Felix up to get more.”

Felix made a face. “What, me?”

“It wouldn’t be fair to send Minho up twice,” Dom explained.

“What about Jisung?”

“He cooked dinner.”

“I’ll be right back,” Minho interjected, cutting Felix off before he could protest any further. “Does anyone want anything to drink while I’m over there?”

He took everyone’s order and then disappeared in the direction of the bar.

“Do you think he’ll need help carrying stuff?” you whispered to Jisung after he left.

“Oh, shit, maybe.”

“Should I go help him? Would that be weird?”

Jisung looked back toward his parents to check that they weren’t paying attention before answering. “No, I don’t think so. No one suspected anything other than me. Do you want me to go with you, though?”

“No, you cooked,” you reminded him, “you should stay and relax. I’ll go help him.”

He nodded. “Okay. Oh, but kiss me before you go.”

Minho was still waiting when you joined him at the bar. It was almost as deserted as the rest of the pool area. Only a couple of people were occupying the stools and they seemed to be strangers to each other, drinking in silence apart from the waves crashing on the shore nearby and the occasional sound of the blender.

“Hey, stranger,” you said, grabbing Minho’s attention with an elbow to his side.

“Hey... did someone forget to ask for something?”

“No, I came to help you. We realized it’s a lot of stuff to carry all by yourself.”

He scoffed. “You doubted me?”

The bartender placed the drinks and s’mores kit down on the counter in front of Minho right at that moment, leaving both of you to size up all there was to bring back to the fire pit.

“You could have carried all that without spilling anything?”

“Fine, maybe it’s good that you came,” he grumbled.

“Maybe?”

He set his jaw and took a deep breath. “It is good that you came. Thank you for helping. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

You grabbed two of the drinks while Minho took the rest, holding the plastic bags of s’mores supplies between his teeth.

Nikki and Dom cheered when you reappeared with everything. The twins looked marginally happier. It was honestly as much as you could ask for from them.

You spent the rest of the evening teaching the Hans how to make, what was in your opinion, the perfect s’more. There were only a few skewers to go around so everyone had to take turns, but it was nice to be able to take your time with something and relax. There hadn’t been much time to do that on this trip. Jisung had warned you of that in the beginning but you were still way more exhausted than you expected to be at this point. At least it was almost over.

The thought of the trip ending was one that you had been pushing to the back of your mind for weeks now. Especially now that Jisung knew what had happened, you didn’t want to think about what would happen when you went back home. Would you grow apart? Would he distance himself once he was no longer in forced proximity with you? Would Minho break up with you? It wasn’t just something you could ignore now. There were only a matter of days left.

When it was over, you would go back to Seoul with the Hans until the summer ended officially. But that would be different too.

“You’re burning your marshmallow, love,” Nikki said softly, putting her hand on your shoulder to get your attention.

“Oh!” you exclaimed and pulled your skewer out of the heat. You blew the flame out and transferred it onto a graham cracker.

“Do you want a new one?” Dom asked.

“No, that’s okay! I like them burnt, actually. I just didn’t mean to leave it in the fire for so long. It could have made a mess.”

Jisung’s dad shrugged as if to say ‘suit yourself’ before taking the rod from you and reloading it with fresh marshmallows.

If it was woodburning, the fire would slowly start to dwindle as the kindling turned to ash. Since it wasn’t, it was still burning as brightly as it had been at the start of the evening when Dom finally turned the propane off. Nikki collected the empty cups and dirty skewers to return to the bar.

“Good night, kids. Don’t stay up too late.”

Felix was the first out of the four of you to go up to his room, leaving you with your best friend and... Minho.

The pool area was completely empty by then.

“I’ll uh, I’ll leave you two,” Jisung said and stood to leave.

You grabbed his hand to stop him. “Wait, no, you don’t have to go.”

“Yeah,” Minho agreed, a little less convincingly. “You should stay.”

Jisung shook his head. “No thanks, I’d rather not third-wheel.”

“Ji-”

“Take as much time as you need,” he said to you. “Just don’t get fucking caught by anyone else.”

You waited for him to leave before slumping forward and sighing into your hands.

“I thought you said he forgave you,” Minho whispered.

“He did. That doesn’t mean he’s okay with it,” you sighed.

Minho leaned back and stretched his arm across the back of the loveseat, inviting you to sit with him. You crossed over to his side and joined him, allowing yourself to lean into his side. He wrapped his arm around you and squeezed your shoulder. It felt nice, to do something so domestic with him, even while sitting in complete silence. Still, you worried about someone seeing you.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“Just you.”

You didn’t want to give him the details and risk ruining the mood so you hoped he was content with that answer. Thankfully, he didn’t ask you to elaborate.

You shivered suddenly, unintentionally but thankfully changing the subject.

“Are you cold?” Minho asked.

“A little.”

“Should I turn the fire pit back on?”

You shook your head. “No, it’s so dark out now. It’ll only draw attention to us.”

“I don’t want you to be cold, though.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Minho didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t we get in the hot tub? You still have your bathing suit on, right?”

“Are we allowed to?”

He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

You followed Minho over to one of the many hot tubs on the property. It was tucked away behind the now-deserted tiki bar and also totally empty. Minho turned on the jets and ventured down into the water, holding his hand out for you to get in behind him.

You let out a sigh as you sank into the bubbling water, closing your eyes and resting your head against the pool’s edge.

“Better?”

“So much better.”

You looked over to see him smile. “Good.”

You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you were warm. The chill had seeped through your bathing suit too. You could feel it ebbing out of the fabric as well as your muscles the longer you sat in the water.

Minho settled next to you and put his hand on your thigh. It was comforting even though his hand was still cold.

“This is nice,” he said.

“It is nice,” you agreed. “I like being able to do just nothing with you.”

“We don’t get a lot of time to do that, do we?”

“No, not really.”

“Guess that just means we have to enjoy it while we have it.”

You sat up to look at him, wondering if he meant something more than what was implied when he said that. He met your gaze and gave you a questioning look.

“What?” You shook your head and sank further into the bubbles. You were reading way too much into everything. You needed to get a grip.

“What’s wrong?” Minho repeated. “Talk to me.”

“I’m scared to,” you finally admitted.

It wasn’t much, but you were finally being honest with Minho instead of skirting around his questions like you usually did. You could tell your answer hurt him but you were afraid that you’d hurt yourself even more if you told him everything. You had a feeling the conversation was going there anyway, though, and there was little you could do to stop it.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I don’t know... what we are?” You cringed as you said it. “And I don’t want to ruin things by asking, you know, because I like what we have going on and I don’t want it to go away but I also don’t want to get my hopes up by thinking we’re something that we’re not but sometimes you do things that make me think you want something more than... whatever it is we’re already doing but- mph!”

You were cut off with a kiss, like something out of a movie. It was brief, but enough to disrupt your train of thought. You stared at him incredulously, trying to read his expression.

His face was even but his eyes were warm. You wished you knew what he was thinking. Moonlight and the flickering flames of torches in the distance were just enough to illuminate his features. The quirk of his cupid’s bow, the flutter of his long eyelashes...

“What was that for?” you inquired, even though you knew what it was for.

“You were spiraling.”

You sighed, dropping your head into your hands. “I can’t help it.”

“I know,” Minho said softly. “For what it’s worth though, I feel the same way.”

You lifted your head to look at him again, your vision slightly blurred by the water dripping down your face from your wet hands. “What?”

He hesitated. “I feel... what you said. I feel the same way.”

“I don’t even know what I said,” you laughed.

“Me either, but I got the general vibe of it and I’m in agreement.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I... I thought I was making it kind of obvious that I wanted something serious with you.”

“You never said anything outright, though!”

“Because I didn’t know what you wanted,” he explained. “You never said anything either.”

“Well, you’re the man!”

Minho raised an eyebrow. “Oh, we’re going there? The feminism just evaporates from your body the moment you’re faced with confrontation?”

“See, you get it.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m telling you now, okay? I want you. In all the ways you’re willing to let me have you.”

You swallowed hard, eyes burning. You didn’t want to start crying and you didn’t want Minho to see you crying so you kissed him again, with more urgency this time. You couldn’t think, hell, you couldn’t breathe, until he pulled away, leaving you wishing and hoping for more.

When your lips met for the third time, he pulled you under with him, just long enough to shock your senses. You gasped for air when you surfaced, pushing your wet hair out of your eyes.

“You’re not supposed to do that!” you scolded, sputtering as you shoved him.

He stumbled backward onto the bench, falling seated again and pulling you on top of him.

“You believe that bullshit?” he scoffed.

“It’s not bullshit! It’s not good for you to put your head under the water in a hot tub!”

“I know people say that but why?”

“I... I don’t know why,” you admitted, “but I know you’re not supposed to.”

“See, you don’t even know!” You gave him a look. “Will you accept an ‘I’m sorry’ kiss?”

“That depends, are you actually sorry?”

He didn’t bother answering. Instead, he kissed you anyway, cradling the back of your head as he slipped his tongue past your lips. He tasted like s’mores and whiskey and chlorine, a combination so strange you couldn’t wrap your head around it.

One of his arms dropped to your waist, wrapping around your body and pulling you closer until your chests were pressed together. You could feel him through his swim trunks, growing harder by the second. You were tempted to take him right there, but you were in public and having sex in a hot tub couldn’t be good either, right? That sounded like an infection waiting to happen.

“Upstairs?” Minho asked breathlessly, lips only centimeters from yours. Not for the first time you wondered if he could read your mind.

You nodded. “Yeah, upstairs.”

You dripped your way back to his room, shivering despite the thick towel wrapped around your shoulders.

“Wanna hop in the shower?” Minho asked between kisses as he fumbled with the straps of your bikini.

“Yeah, don’t want to get your bed all wet,” you replied.

“That would happen whether or not we had just been in the pool,” he joked.

“Hilarious.”

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” he hissed. “Let’s get these off of you, they’re so cold.”

“Is that the only reason you want them off?”

“I think we both know the answer to that.”

You knew Minho was expecting to have sex in the shower but you kind of wanted to fuck on the bed so you sucked his dick while he washed your hair and then took turns rinsing off before moving to his bed. You put your hair up in a towel to avoid the aforementioned wetness and wrapped yourself up in one of the hotel’s robes even though you knew it’d be coming right off.

To your surprise, Minho left your robe on. He just undid the tie around your waist and let it fall open before shouldering himself between your legs. It was kind of like putting a towel down. He was killing two birds with one stone that way: protecting the sheets and keeping you warm.

It didn’t take long for you to cum in his mouth. Minho knew your body like the back of his hand by now. It had taken him a fraction of the time it took your past lovers to learn what made you tick and he used all of that knowledge to his advantage.

He kept going after you came the first time, eager to pull another from you, but you pulled him up by the hair to get his attention before he could get too into it.

“Too much?” he asked.

“Want you to fuck me,” you urged.

Thankfully, he was receptive to this and moved up so that he could position himself on top of you. He notched himself at your entrance and kissed you as he pushed himself inside, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue before pulling away and wiping his face on your shoulder.

“Ew!” you cried and tried to push him away.

Minho looked offended. “What do you mean, ‘ew’? It’s you.”

“That doesn’t mean I want me all over what I’m wearing!”

“Since when?” he joked. “Seems like it’s always all over what you’re wearing when you’re around me.”

“Can we please talk about something else?” you begged, suddenly embarrassed and grossed out at the same time.

Minho laughed and pecked you on the cheek. “What would you rather talk about? The weather?”

You tightened around him as punishment, making him swear and bury his face in your neck. “Fucking hell, you succubus.”

You smiled politely and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Don’t people usually say that if she can talk at all, you’re doing it wrong?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “I was just taking it easy on you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, this was for your benefit,” he continued. “Didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“How gracious of you.”

He clenched his jaw as he started fucking you faster, muttering sarcastically, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was boring you.”

Ironically, you couldn’t respond right away, too caught up in the feeling of how deep he was inside of you to get any words out.

“I forgive you,” you choked out finally.

Your hands fell to his biceps, desperate for something to hold on to. You dug your nails into his skin, making him hiss through his teeth.

“Harder,” he urged. You squeezed harder and he gasped. “Fuck yes, keep doing that.”

“Like this?”

“Just like that, baby. That’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

#instead of you stray kids #instead of you skz #iou stray kids #iou skz #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee know x female reader #lee know x bi!reader #lee know series #stray kids series #stray kids x female reader

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respectthepetty · 5 months

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Pit Babe Colors Ep. 3

Because I have asks in my inbox about the color coding in Pit Babe even though I don't want to watch it, I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are. I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, I'm going to take off the captions.

Jeffery was outside listening (still sus) and these two finally have blue on their bodies but are also still sus. I'm not even going to learn their names because they will betray all of us.

I don't need captions for this. As a chismosa, I know when people are having the "you's a bitch and so is your man" argument.

Where is the red, Jeffery? I stopped for the tattoo, but Jeffery is swerving Alan's advances left and right. I know they will be an item from the trailer, but even though the whole purpose of this adventure is for me to read the visuals, like . . . read the visuals, Alan, and stop touching him.

I hate this club! Its lighting makes me trust no one! I trust Way. I do. I DO! (I don't trust him)

Is the interior of Babe's car blue?!

That one green-ish car among red and blue cars is upsetting me on a personal level, so I renaming it light blue. Also, Babe, why do you play with toy cars when upset?

What in the American Horror Story: Cult is happening here?

Wait, this is X-Men?! Did he kill their parents so he could get a tiny army of kids with special abilities?! HOMIE, NO! This is why Babe plays with cars. YOU STOLE HIS CHILDHOOD! You know what I always say? "KILL YOUR SHITTY FATHER KIDNAPPER!"

There was another guy talking to Alan, but I don't know him, and he was safe in blue. I know this is Pete and he will be with Way (the trailer and opening credits told me). He has no color, but I appreciate the visual.

I hate this show. Is that blue on that red driver? Is that black? Are you actually good, Kim (I hope that's your name)? *trust the visuals* You're good, Kim. *five minutes later* Why are you talking to Big Red?!

The product placement is not slutty and that is unacceptable, but Way always being buddy buddy with these two is even more unacceptable. Way, put some blue on you body, RIGHT NOW!

Do you see that teeny tiny slip of red? I don't trust you, Charles!

Babe even plays a blue car in his video game when he is upset!

I didn't fully understand that video Way showed Babe, but I do see the blue shirt underneath, Charles, yet this is behavior is SUS AS FUCK! Why do none of these guy get the hint when people don't want to be touched?!

Standing in front of a red car, Charles? . . . THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, BARBARA!

Charles had been the light to Babe's dark the first two episodes, and suddenly he leaves bed and becomes dark while Babe is blue. I really hate Charles off of nothing but vibes and colors, and I would put a tracker on his ass yesterday.

Thank, God! Barbara got smart and followed his ass just to see him hug Jeffery who magically isn't opposed to touch now. YOU FAKE BLUE BOY!

Enemy #1. You are in my burn book. I told my mom about you, so that means the hate is permanent.

Did I misjudge them? No! Eff all these fakers.

Barbara is losing his shit over a man!

Yet still has him up in house next week. PENDEJO! He was standing next to a red car, Barbara. Do not fall for this liar's bullshit.

I really hope Babe pulls a Carrie and burns this whole place down because at this current moment, I only trust Alan and Pete (because he is pretty). Eff the Red Team versus the Blue Team plot. I'm Team Trust No One.

Order of how much I don't trust these hoes:

Charlie

Charles, but this time by his government name

Those two vloggers or whatever they do

Jeffrey

Way (my man, what happened?!)

#I hate Charles #pit babe #pit babe the series #the colors mean things #and they will guide me the whole way through #color coded boys in love #except one is faking it #and his name is CHARLES!

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buddhamethods · 4 months

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10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

#tag game #bake me please #bake me please the series #not me #not me the series #never let me go #never let me go the series #my dear gangster oppa #my dear gangster oppa the series #moonlight chicken #history 3: make our days count #pit babe #pit babe the series #love mechanics #tonhon chonlatee #love in the air #love in the air the series #blacked out and tagged every show oops

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ghastlyfilters · 1 year

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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐬!!

pairing(s): implied billy loomis, stu macher, mickey altieri, randy meeks, tatum riley + sidney prescott x gn!reader

warning(s): none, just billy being a dick as per usual lol. some slight mentions of dog shelters. (if you’re anything like me it hurts your heart thinking about places like that)

BILLY

• Is this man necessarily a pet person? No.

• Billy will literally tell you to get a fucking grip if you cry over a fish..

THIS MAN IS AS BLUNT AS THEY COME. CMON NOW.

• He finds cats more peaceful than any other animals.

• He’d much rather a kitty cat being able to snuggle with him than a dog drooling all over the place..

(This most certainly changes the minute you show him the crazy ass cat compilations 😭)

• Billy hates nothing more than people giving pets (dogs specifically) the most dumbass names. Buddy, Max, Milo, you know where i’m getting at, lol.

• If you have a baby lizard, he actually enjoys sitting holding the little creature as it slowly moves around on his hand. (I LOVE LIZARDS SM MAN)

• Though this is him if any animal comes into your room and pisses him off:

• OH BILLY BOY YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE..

STUUUU

• SMOTHERS YOUR PETS WITH EVERY BIT OF AFFECTION HE HAS IN HIS BIG OL’ HEART!

• Dances with your snake around his neck to Britney Spears’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” playing in the background.

• Yes this man will honor Britney in any way he can, shush..

• There’s a few animals he’s allergic to so he might be a lil sneezy here and there.

• His eyes get that red and puffed up until the point Billy thinks he’s fucking high or smth..

• But if he loves one of those animals THAT much he’ll just buy allergy meds and tell himself to suck it up.

• Giggles at the vids of dog owners letting their pooches stand up and dance with them.

(So much so, he tries it with your dog himself)

• Has a special thing for Labradors and Great Danes!

• Nah, spiders are def a big NO NO..

“Hey babe, look!” You said, both hands open wide as a fat, hairy black creature sat in the middle of them.

Stu stared at you from the other couch, standing up as he began to back away. “Nah, put that shit down.”

“BUT LOOK.”

“BABE STO-”

• Cannot go into a dog shelter whatsoever. Even if the pair of you were to find one perfect for you guys, his heart aches for the other ones being left behind.

• Would love nothing more than to lay down with a dozen puppies crawling on top of him whilst he plays with the little cuties. OMG.

MICKEY

• I just know y’all would have a black cat named Salem.

• Takes multiple pics of husky puppies in the snow.

• Feels all fuzzy inside when you say you’re the “Momma” of your shared pet and he’s the “Daddy”

• Always lets your pets sleep at the bottom of the bed with you two! (Maybe even further up and snuggled in if he’s feeling particularly nice that day)

• When he’s not busy with his film studies, he’ll watch some movies with your furry friend, letting them sit on his lap whilst stroking/patting the cuddly creature.

• I imagine he wouldn’t necessarily bother with getting a pet that’s not a house cat or a regular dog. But if you decided to go out and get something extremely different from those two sorts, he’d probably be intrigued to see what it was and what it could do.

RANDY

• Randy is most certainly someone who doesn’t mind animals. He’s the kind of person who wants one for the sake of having some extra company.

• He has a golden Labrador of his own, so he certainly won’t be fussed if you tell him you have a dog.

• Stu threw a bit of meat onto Randy’s back without him noticing. Well, until he was screaming when he realised a fucking PIT BULL had been chasing him half way down the goddamn street!

That sort of messed up his thoughts on certain dog breeds for quite a while..

• Unlike Billy, Randy LOVES having popular dog names for his pooch. In fact, Buster is actually the name of his doggie!! :D

• No joke, if you tell this man you have a Tarantula he will avoid your house at all costs. ALL. COSTS.

• He would try and phone you to have a movie night and it would go a lil something like this:

“Hey, my mom’s out of town and Martha went to her friend’s house for the night, you wanna come over? I picked up some movies when I was finishing my shift earlier. I was thinking a horror seeing as it’s fall, ya know?”

“Don’t be silly! Come over to mine! I’ve got Halloween and plenty of snacks at the ready! Jamie Lee Curtis, hello?” You giggled.

“Uh- you know what babe I think i’m *COUGH* coming down w- with um- something.”

“Wait wha-”

“LOVE YOU, BYEEEEEE!!”

• No matter how much begging you do, he’s not coming over.

*You, Randy, Tatum, Stu, Sid and Billy walking home*

“Who’s house are we having that dumbass ‘movie marathon’ at tonight?” Billy snorted.

Randy gave him a look of pure offence. “Hey! It’s not dumb! It’s a HORROR marathon!! That’s what people do in October, Billy. Jesus.”

“Whatever.”

Tatum glanced towards you. “Y/n, I was thinking your house because you have the full Nightmare on Elm Street boxset-”

“ADIOS!” Randy shouted, practically sprinting back the way you lot had already came.

“PUSSY!!” Stu added with a loud echo of booming laughter.

TATUM

• Tatum loves animals so much, especially BUNNIES!

• As much as she may like your animals who are fluffy as HELL, she always carries a lint roller around with her. She hates hairs on her skirt.. (I feel you girl 🥲)

• Does not understand why so many girls freak out at dogs licking their faces. She knows it’s their way of giving affection like chill out??

• Her and Dewey had rabbits as kids, so don’t be surprised if she gets extra excited over the fact you have some aswell, hehe.

• Always asks if she can pet people’s dogs in public. If they appear friendly enough, of course.

• Snakes are definitely not her thing, so if you have one, perhaps keep it hidden when she comes over.

• She’ll try and get you to let her hold your rabbit whilst you watch a movie. (I mean, why not?)

SIDNEY

• Sidney is 110% a cat lover. So much so, when Christmas time came around, you decided to gift her a little kitten as a thank you for how supportive she always is towards you.

• It would be a beautiful little grey kitty named Daisy. And I imagine Sid would definitely spend time with her 24/7. Daisy was one of the only things that made Sidney truly happy, despite you, of course.

• She likes dogs too! She’ll always giggle her head off if your dog gets overexcited when she comes around to visit.

• Literally finds mini turtles so fucking cute. (She is definitely interested to see unordinary pets too!!)

• Much like Stu and Randy, our girl Sid is a big fan of Labradors. Especially black ones. She finds them beautiful creatures, standing proudly with their big chocolate brown eyes.

hey guys! headcanon requests are open if you’d like to see some specific types of hcs with a certain one of these lovely characters! remember to drink plenty of water and take care of yourselves! i love you my darlings, you are always welcome to have kj’s blog as your safe place. always. <3

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datingjaeminfr · 11 months

Text

+ DENIED + CHOI SOOBIN

PAIRING: Choi Soobin x Male Reader

GENRE: Smut

WARNINGS: Denied cum, Slight pet play (collar & chain lead), Dirty talk, Degrading, Mentions of cheating, Choking, Biting, Fingering, Face fucking, Face grinding, Hitting (literally one slap but still-)

Summary: You weren't at all prepared for what was to come. He showed you very quickly that leaving wasn't an option.

Note: Honestly, I might use this au more often. It's literally amazing and if it's going to take over my life, why not make it take over yours?

You had broken up with your, now ex, boyfriend, Soobin, a little over a week ago. I mean sure, you couldn't blame him for being busy, but you felt like you weren't getting what you wanted in a relationship with him. You weren't the type to cheat, but you felt like you desperately needed someone else. To resolve that issue, you left him, lying that you simply 'fell out of love', the usual bullshit reason people used when breaking up or cheating. You still loved him however, sobbing your eyes out in the arms of your best friend every night.

Surprisingly, Soobin took the news quite well, and you wondered if he was doing the exact same as you were. Keeping a facade and acting like you didn't give two shits, when really you just wanted to be in his arms. But it'd be wrong to go crawling back to him now. He didn't even try to contact you throughout the week. You thought you messed up everything to the point he didn't even want to be friends. You couldn't blame him.

It was about 12pm, or at least somewhere around that time anyway. Your friend had gone home after much persuasion as you reassured them that you'd be fine tonight. You woke up in cold sweats, a bad gut feeling in the pit of your stomach. Sitting up, you looked over at your window, feeling a chilly breeze sweeping through the open gap towards you. A sense of panic caused a rush of adrenaline to course through your veins. You definitely shut that window. And you as well as whoever was in here knew it.

You looked around wildly, a psychotic giggle resounding at your actions. You looked towards the source of the sound, seeing a tall shadow standing in the corner of your room. That alone was enough to send you crawling back until you hit the headboard. You watched the figure with wide eyes, almost as though it would help you see them better. A deep, vaguely familiar voice spoke, "You really screwed me over love. All I did was take care of you, love you, but you still screwed me over." You didn't respond, silently shaking in fear.

The figure moved into the moonlight shining through the open frame of glass. "Cat got your tongue?" They teased, the corner of their lips twitching into a smirk. "S-soobin," you managed to stutter out. "Oh, so you can still speak? That's good, I don't want to make you lose your voice just yet." He commented. His deep tone, mixed with the words he spoke, sent a shiver down your spine. "W-why are you here? We b-broke up a week ago." You stammered questioningly, stumbling over your words. Soobin rolled his eyes, "Don't be scared of me yet angel. I haven't even started." His voice lowered on the last sentence, becoming almost dark.

He moved closer to you, standing at the edge of your bed. Crawling on top of it, he grabbed your thigh tightly, dragging you underneath him as he looked down upon you. He dug his nails into the soft flesh as he leaned down, whispering into your ear, "You can't leave me. Once you become mine, oh babe, you stay mine." His voice roughened on the last words and you could feel your sweatpants slightly tighten. He backed up until he was off the bed, still dragging you with him. You let out a high pitched yelp, trying to wriggle out of his grip as he harshly squeezed your thigh in order to move you.

Ignoring your pain he pulled out a black leather collar, slipping it around your neck and tightening it to the point you could barely breath. After attaching a heavy silver chain to it he wrapped it around his hand. You could feel yourself get harder with the action even though you so badly wanted to get out of there. You begged him to stop, to take it off and you'd do whatever he wanted, but he wouldn't give you the time of the night. He'd do what he wanted to do with you either way, so what was the point?

Soobin forced you up against the bed after turning you around, your head lying on top of the edge at an awkward angle that was almost painful. He moved closer until he were so close that your nose was almost touching his crotch. Clearly, that was the plan as he bunched up the chain and placed his massive hands either side of your head. He slightly pulled you up, relying on the bed to be your support as he pressed his clothed hard on to your face. He grinded into it, quiet, raspy groans leaving him as he used you to pleasure himself.

You could barely breath with the collar, let alone being pressed so hard against his private regions. You let out a sharp whine, attempting to grab his attention and make him stop. You resulted in getting slapped instead, but you kept acting like a brat, refusing to shut up. So he decided to make you. Pulling away from your face momentarily, he pulled his trousers and boxers down in one go, his dick springing up into your face. "W-wait ple-" He shut you up, stuffing his sensitive part into your mouth before you could finish protesting.

From previous experiences, you knew you couldn't take in all of him, not that Soobin cared. He fucked into your mouth as you gagged and choked around him. Your eyes shut as tears pricked the corner of them, trying desperately to to breath. "Aw is the baby crying?" He cooed at you, "But you're taking my cock so well darling. It's like your mouth was made for my dick, and my dick only. You were born to be my cock slut weren't you?" Your erection was painfully hard as you tried to nod, precum soaking a patch in your own boxers. You opened your eyes again, looking up at him.

"Such a good - fuck - boy for me. You like this, huh? You like being called a cock slut by your master? It's what you are. The only thing you're - shit - fucking u-useful for." He shamed you relentlessly, his dick twitching in your mouth, telling you he was close. He cursed as he released his load into your mouth, his head falling back and his body shaking as his orgasm washed over him. Pulling out of you he covered your mouth with his hand, forcing you to swallow. Taking his hand away, you panted heavily having not been able to breathe properly.

He picked you up, throwing you onto the bed and pinning you down once again. Kissing you roughly, he used his tongue, exploring what was already his. He reached down, yanking your sweat pants and boxers down. Ridding of them, he threw them elsewhere, taking his own clothes down there off fully, sending them after yours. He stopped kissing you, sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. He ripped your shirt off of you, tearing it in half at an angle, throwing both of them away as well.

Flipping you over, he pushed a single digit into your ass. You moaned out loudly, euphoria filling you, a cause of both fear and pleasure. Soobin was completely unpredictable, no warning given in his actions. He added a second finger, the length of them causing him to hit your prostate as he began to move them in a scissoring motion inside of you. Deeming that as you being prepped enough, even though you needed four of them in you to stretch you enough, he took his fingers out. Lining up with your entrance, you guessed the improper preparation was part of your punishment.

He leaned over you, pushing your face into the bed as he slowly entered you, groaning at how tight you were. "Fuck baby, you’re so tight. You really were made for me, made to be my own personal sperm bank." The dirty talk had your dick dripping as it pulsed from not being touched, driving you crazy. He used the chain to tug your head to the side, biting into the area between your neck and shoulder to muffle his moans, moving without allowing you to properly adjust to his size. You screamed out in pain, tears non-stop streaming down your face as he pounded into you. You gripped the sheets with all your strength. It didn't help with the pain, but stabilized you a bit more.

Soon enough the pain turned to pleasure and you screamed Soobin's name. "More! I need more! Please!" You begged loudly. "More? Is this not enough for you slut? Is my dick not enough to pleasure you?" Soobin demanded, releasing your neck, blood running down it from how hard his teeth sunk into you. You couldn't respond, pleasure turning you almost entirely dumb. Soobin chuckled at your lack of response, "You have the guts to ask for more yet you're fucked stupid from my dick already, hm? You little whore."

He pumped your dick, jacking you off as his thrusts sent you into another universe. Drool spilt out your mouth as your body began to tremble. Without warning, he shot his juices into you. It almost caused you to orgasm, but let go of your length, refusing to carry on pleasuring you. Breathing heavily he pulled out, drops of his cum dripping onto the bed. You whimpered, whined, anything to try and get him to let you cum. He laughed cruelly, "Bad boys don't get to cum, fucking slut."

#choi soobin #soobin smut #txt #tommorow x together #txt smut #txt scenarios #soobin scenarios #soobin txt #gay smut #smut #soobin x reader #male reader

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 3 years

Text

Scarred | Bucky Barnes x Reader

I had a 3 hour plane ride today and didn’t have anything to watch so I wrote this lil thing. I was in a bathing suit a lot this past week and the huge scar from my recent hip surgery was on full display for everyone at the beach / pool. Parts of it didn’t heal super well, so it’s not very pretty to look at. It made me think of Mr. James Buchanan Barnes, so here we are!

Please message me with any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions! 💜

—————————————————

You and Bucky stumbled clumsily into your room, attached by the mouth, and slammed the door behind you. This flirtationship you’d been entangled in for the last two months had finally come to a head when you worked up the courage to kiss him after a movie night at the Avengers compound. He’d been taken aback at first, but his desire for you took over the logic center of his brain and he’d kissed you back fiercely.

You’d made out a little bit on one of the couches in the media room before you’d asked him to join you in your bedroom- what you didn’t expect was for him to hesitate. He seemed unsure, and the last thing you wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.

“Hey, we don’t have to, Buck. We can just hang out right here, no problem”.

He shook his head and dragged you up off the couch in the direction of your room.

Now in the privacy of your bedroom, things began to progress past the innocent make out you’d shared on the couch. His hands roamed your body and left goosebumps in their wake. You tangled your fingers in his hair, giving in a gentle tug here and there. You soon began pulling his henley up over his abdomen, eager to get your hands all over his perfect body- but he stopped you.

His cold metal hand gently wrapped around your wrist and he broke the kiss you were sharing.

“Everything okay?” you released the fabric and took a small step back, waiting for his response. A pit began slowly forming in your stomach and you regretted ever pushing him so far. He sighed and fixed his gaze on the floor, refusing to meet your eye line. He looked embarrassed, almost ashamed.

“There’s a-there’s a lot of scars under there, babe” he forced a small smile, trying to lighten the mood, “I don’t really think you wanna see all that”. He still refused to look you in the eye and you could practically feel the shame radiating off of him. You remembered how tough it had been for him to open up to you- to tell you about the things Hydra did to him and the things they made him do to others. Those were mental and emotional scars that he carried with him everyday, but the scars on his body were there to remind him every time he looked in the mirror.

You placed a hand under his chin and gently lifted his head, forcing him to finally meet your gaze. “Buck, you don’t have to be embarrassed. And if you don’t want to show them to me, you don’t have to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Your free hand found one of his, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “But seeing your scars isn’t gonna scare me away.”

A small smile crept its way slowly across his face, “Are you sure about that?” He forced levity into his voice, masking the very real anxiety that held him in a vicious chokehold. He didn’t think it would be possible for someone to be interested in him romantically, not after everything he’s done. Hell, he was shocked every day that you even wanted to be his friend. But surely the sight of his excessive scars would drive you away, and Bucky wasn’t ready to lose you.

“I’m sure, Buck. But I wanna move at your pace. If you’re not ready to show me, then I don’t want you to. It’s not-”

He brought his hands up to the sides of your face and pulled you in for another kiss, silencing your words.

“It’s okay...” he gently wrapped his warm hand around one of your wrists, guiding your hand slowly up under his shirt and across his scarred abdomen.

You felt his muscles moving under his taught skin and every few inches, your fingers grazed over tiny sections of scar tissue. They littered his skin, each one telling a different story of the abuse he’d endured. Bucky’s eyes were shut tight as his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched. No one had touched his marred body- consensually- in decades.

His chest rose and fell erratically as the anxiety of it all tried to get the best of him. All he’d known for almost one hundred years was torture, abuse, and torment. And even though he trusted you without question, he couldn’t shake the fear.

“Buck...are you sure you’re okay with this?”

His eyes flew open, your voice bringing him back to the present. He’d been so enraptured by hideous memories of punishments and experimentation- but you dragged him away from the edge. He leaned in for a deep kiss that rendered you breathless. If showing you his scars drove you away, he at least wanted one last taste of your lips. He took a slow step back, forcing your hand fall from his chest. Once again, he forced his eyes shut. And with one deep breath, he pulled the shirt from his body.

He stood before you, exposing the thing he hated most about himself. His breathing picked up in pace again as he opened his eyes and watched you take in the sight of him. His perfectly sculpted physique and bulging muscles took your breath away. But the evidence of his past torment forced a deep ache to take root in your chest. The scars that peppered his chest and abdomen told the stories of his past, of bullets and knives that pierced his flesh.

And finally, you let your gaze fall upon his left shoulder. Deep, thick scar tissue acted as a bridge between his flesh and the vibranium arm he hates so much. The scar itself was uneven, and thicker in certain places compared to others. It was at least two inches wide, and ran the entire expanse of his shoulder joint. The shiny pink skin looked abused and painful, like the doctor who removed the remainder of Bucky’s natural arm and attached the metal one hadn’t taken any care at all.

You weren’t scared or disgusted by his perceived imperfections like Bucky feared you’d be- just deeply saddened by the fact that someone so kind had gone through so much physical and emotional pain.

You slowly took a small step forward, searching Bucky’s face for an indicator that it was okay for you to get closer. You continued to make your way toward him until you were so close that you could almost feel his hot breath on your face. Tentatively, you lifted a hand and lightly placed a few of your fingers on the thick ridge of scar tissue. You looked into Bucky’s eyes as you did so, and watched shame flood his face.

“Is this okay?”

He nodded, his breathing slowing ever so slightly. He hates knowing that you were actually feeling the tissue that he’d deemed “disgusting”, but something about your touch brought him peace. He trusted you, felt safe with you. You lightly traced just the tips of your fingers over the scar, only delivering light pressure to start. You needed Bucky to know that you weren’t horrified by his 'flaw', that this wouldn’t change the way you saw him.

And after a few moments, you progressed. You let your whole hand lay delicately on the scar, your palm resting on the shiny, pink ridges Bucky hated so much. His heartbeat pounded beneath the surface of his skin, betraying his anxiety. With your other hand, you reached down and laced your fingers with his once again. A small smile crept across his face, and he let out what seemed like a sigh of relief. He couldn’t believe the effect you had on him. You always made him feel so safe, so comfortable.

“We can stop anytime you want, Buck. Just tell me when and I’ll stop”.

You wanted Bucky to know that you accepted all of him, but you didn’t want to push him too far too fast. If he needed to take small, slow steps, you weren’t going to rush him.

“No, this is...this is good". He’d built a wall around himself ever since his escape from Hydra as a way to protect those around him- as well as himself. It forced him to keep people at arms length, physically and emotionally, but you could see the wall crumbling. He loved the sensation of your skin on his; it brought a warmth to his body that he had never experienced before. He wanted to feel like this all the time, needed to keep you close for the rest of his days.

You looked into his eyes, searching for anything that might contradict what he’d just said. But all you found was a look that reassured you that he was okay- that he trusted you. There was something you’d wanted to do since the moment he’d removed his shirt, and this was the perfect chance. With one last look into his eyes, you slowly leaned in and pressed your mouth to his large scar, feeling both hot skin and cool metal against your lips. He drew in a sharp breath as you gave this biggest insecurity a slow, gentle kiss.

You leaned back and searched his face, hoping you hadn’t gone too far.

“You alright?”

Bucky placed his cold, metallic hand on the side of your face and pulled you in for a deep kiss, “I’m good- great, actually. I don’t- I didn’t expect this. But I’m glad it happened, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve needed you for…for so long.”

Your head fell gently against Bucky’s scarred chest, “well I’m not going anywhere, Buck. I’ll always be here. I promise.”

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t0shii · 3 years

Note

Hiiiiii :D can I request angst to fluff with Bokuto suna and Kyotani where their s/o wanted some food/snakes in the middle of the night so instead of waking the guys up they go by themselves to Store and the guys wake up looking for them and get scared/mad when they can’t find them

ღ — when they wake up alone

.! timeskip! bokuto, suna, kyotani (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ lots of cursing, mentions of eating; not proofread

.! oh wow... i will totally write this for you 😈😈 ty for the request & hope you enjoy- these turned out pretty lengthy huh?

bokuto

bokuto is absolutely beside himself when he wakes up and your side of the bed is cold and empty. quickly he sits up and calls your name, "y/n?? y/n, baby?" no response the crease in his brows deepening with the frown on his lips. "must he in the bathroom or something" he mumbles to himself, clumsily getting out of your shared bed and walking fast to the bathroom down the hall. he knocks on the door quietly, "babe, you in there?" he waits a few seconds before opening the door, only to find the room dark and empty. now he's feeling really nervous, where the hell were you? 'the kitchen?' he thinks but when he gets there it too is empty, he basically tears the whole house apart looking for you, no where to be found. maybe you left him? finally got tired of his immature personality, maybe you just couldn't stand to be with him another minute- even as he slept.

the negative thoughts plagued his brain, so much so in fact, he hadn't even heard the front door of your shared apartment open, or the thud of your snacks hitting the hardwood floor. he hadn't even noticed you make your way toward him, "bokuto, baby, what's wrong?" his head snaps up at the sound of your voice, "y/n? you're back?" he reaches out for you and you stand there hugging him as he sat on the couch, "yeah, i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks. why are you crying though? did you have a nightmare?" you run your hands through his hair and it calms him down almost immediately. "n-no but i reached for you and you were gone and t-then i couldn't find you anywhere.... i-i thought you left me for good." he hiccups, you feel guilt creep up your chest at his words. "oh bo, baby no! i just didn't wanna wake you since you have a match tomorrow." he sighs, arms wrapping around you tighter, "please just wake me up next time, you really scared me." you promise you won't leave the house without telling him from now on and cheer him up with some of the snacks you bought, and kisses of course.

suna

suna's first feeling is disappointment as he reaches over to pull your body closer to his, still half asleep, but is met with an empty space. he's annoyed but doesn't think too much about it, you probably had use the bathroom or something so you'd be back in no time. it's only when he realizes too much time has gone by and you still weren't in bed he starts to get really irritated and a little nervous, why weren't you back in bed? he groans, throwing the comforter away from his body and stands from the bed, "y/n where the hell did you go?" his voice his hoarse as he calls out for you checking each room in the apartment, only for them to be empty. he curses to himself as he sits on the couch, plenty of emotions running through his veins. it worried him that he had no clue where you were and it pissed him off that you hadn't said anything before you left. even more though, he couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that maybe you left with the purpose of never coming back- it made him uneasy.

he hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch in same position he'd sat down in, the sound of the front door opening snapping him awake almost immediately. all he felt was annoyance, it was nearly 2 am and here you were walking through the front door, paper bags in hand. "where the hell did you go?" the question comes out a little harsher than he'd originally wanted it to but he was too tired to care at this point. you flinch at his question, "uhm to the convenience store? i couldn't sleep so i decided to get snacks and you have a game later so i didn't wanna wake you." he rolls his eyes, "so you leave me to wake up alone? i couldn't find you anywhere- i was worried sick. do you only think about yourself or something?" well shit, he hadn't meant to say that last part. you drop your bags to the ground and immediately suna knows he's fucked up big time. "i-i'm sorry, i just didn't want to wake you up b-because-" you were already breathing heavy, tears staining your cheeks and suna has no idea how he can recover from this.

"oh fuck, baby- i didn't mean to- shit i'm so sorry" he inches closer to you and to his surprise you let him embrace you "i didn't mean to snap at you, i swear. i'm just so tired and i was so fucking worried you weren't gonna come back- god i'm so sorry" he hold you tight in his arms, "i'm sorry too rin, i should've at least left a note, but i knew i wasn't gonna be gone for long so i didn't even think about it." you apologize but he only shushes you, "still, i should have never snapped at you." you nod against his chest, "you really worried me though, i thought that- you know what it doesn't matter, you're back now. let's eat those snacks you brought back, yeah?" the two of you spend the rest of the night eating the snacks you bought and suna holds you close and tight like you'll fade away if he doesn't.

kyotani

kyotani is a heavy sleeper, especially after a long set and he's definitely not a morning person- no matter the time he's woken up. so when he wakes up you side of the bed empty and cold, he already feels him becoming agitated. he rolls over to check his phone, 3:52 am, "what the fuck, y/n" the grumbles, "y/n." he yells, loud but no response, "of course you're gonna make me get up." he scoffs. firstly he searches the living room, he knew that oftentimes, you had trouble sleeping and knowing he hated to be woke up, you would sneak into the living room to watch tv until you were sleepy again but of course you weren't there. you weren't in the kitchen either, and he didn't find you in the bathroom nor on the balcony. kyotani checks his phone, no texts no calls, nothing. he rolls his eyes and throws himself onto the couch refusing to text or call you out of his own stubborn national, plus, what if you were driving? he turns on the tv to distract himself from the pit of anxiety bubbling in his belly, nothing can really stop his thoughts from running wild though, he can't shake the feeling that you weren't coming back and had left him for good, finally tired of his- well everything about him, really.

he thoughts are interrupted when he hears the front door open, relieved to see your face but angry as he remembers you'd left without a word. he frowns standing up to meet you at the front door, apparently you weren't expecting him because you flinch as he makes his presence known by clearing his throat, "oh fuck- kyo you scared me! why are you awake?" he scoffs "oh i scared you? well at least you didn't wake up to an empty house at nearly four am" his tone has you frowning, "i didn't wake you up because you'd be upset with me and i knew you needed rest after your show from earlier." his face softens but still he rolls his eyes and glances at the bags in your hands. "whatever, what's in the bags?" he takes them from you and sets them on the island counter, "i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks." you follow him to the kitchen, "i got your favorite too." if he was still annoyed before he definitely wasn't anymore, did he even deserve the snacks? he'd just snapped at you minutes earlier. he grunts in acknowledgment, "c'mon, we can eat together, kyo. i'll put on a movie." you grab his hand in one hand and the bags of snacks in the other and lead him to the living room where you both lay on the couch.

his silence is all too loud as you put on a movie you both enjoy, "kyo, is something wrong?" kyotani can't help the tears that form in his eyes as he embraces you tightly, "i was worried about you, you brat. why'd you leave without telling me? you coulda left me a text or something." you're stunned at his sudden outburst, "i was only gone for 30 minutes, kentaro... but still i'm sorry, i should've left a note, but i didn't think you'd wake up while i was gone?" you rub his back and chuckle, "did you miss me that much, baby?" he shakes his head as best he can while it's in the crook of your neck, "i thought you weren't gonna come back." his confession surprises you, "oh... why would i not come back? i love you too much to leave for good." you grin, "really?" "really". the both of you spend the rest of the dark hours of the morning watching movies and eating the snacks you bought all while in a tight embrace.

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

One Misunderstanding

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You struggle to fix Bucky's first impression of you. Bucky struggles with his own feelings.

Warnings: angst, Hydra things- like brainwashing and torture, a few curse words, panic attacks, anxiety

Word count: 5609

a/n: this idea came to me very suddenly, but I'm in love with it. Hopefully whatever I just wrote does it justice.

Masterlist

"Everyone, meet Y/N. She's the newest member of our little group, bringing in a whole new level of hacking and tech skills. Y/N, meet the team." Tony introduced you to everyone, eager to share your skills.

You turned to the group, getting ready to introduce yourself further, but instead tripped. You shrieked as you fell down the small set of stairs you were at the top of.

Sam, being the closest, caught you. "Good thing you've got tech skills." He chuckled as you righted yourself, firmly planting your feet on the ground.

"Haha, yeah. I'm not a big fan of violence." You winced as you said it, wishing you could take it back. You didn't want to get into the reasons as to why you don't like violence.

To your surprise, nobody asked why. You would have guessed they would have questions, but maybe they weren't interested in your past. They all had their own issues to deal with afterall.

"Eh, we don't need anymore people for fighting anyway. Welcome to the team." Steve greeted you warmly, as you would have expected from America's golden boy.

You gratefully shook his hand, glad to not have to talk about anything yet. Unfortunately, you tripped again when you tried to move back, falling into the one and only Bucky Barnes.

His hands steadied you, dryly laughing at your clumsiness. "You really are clumsy."

You did you best to not show how embarrassed you were. You couldn't deny the claim. Unless you were fighting, something you vowed to yourself to never do again, you were clumsy.

Being abducted and tortured by Hydra may have made you a competent fighter, but your aptitude for tripping over nothing never left.

"Right, sorry!" You greeted everyone else quickly, eager to get situated in your room. "I'm just going to unpack everything." You waved as you backed out of the room, bumping into the wall as you left.

You had just finished putting away your stuff when you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You figured someone would have questions for you.

Unsurprisingly, Natasha was the one to step into your room. Of everyone there, you expected her to have learned about your past. It comes with the territory of being a spy.

"Hi, I was hoping to talk to you." Her tone was friendly, but clearly she was skeptical of you. Again, you weren't surprised.

"I thought you might. I'm assuming you read my file? Honestly, I thought everyone would." You laughed gently, shaking your head at yourself.

"I did. Your file is pretty bare bones though. I did some extra digging... Not everyone else is as nosy as me." She grinned, already pleased with your openness. "So, why'd you pretend to be clumsy?"

"Oh, it wasn't pretend. I've always been clumsy. When everything happened, and I learned how to fight, I thought my newfound agility would help. Turns out, it didn't. The only times I'm even the slightest bit coordinated are when I'm fighting or training, but I wasn't lying about that either. When I escaped, I promised myself I wouldn't hurt anyone else."

"Why join the Avengers at all then?" She looked curious, still unsure if she could trust you.

"I wanted to help people. I just didn't want to use the skills they gave me to do it. So, I learned how to code, figured I could help behind the scenes."

She smiled, letting down her guard. Clearly it would take some time, but you could easily see the two of you being close friends.

"So, nobody knows about what you went through?" She couldn't help but be curious about your past.

"Nope. I don't talk about it much, but it's not a secret. I'll answer anything you want to know." You smiled, eager to try and make a real friend here.

You spent the next few hours answering every question Natasha could think of. You told her about being abducted and experimented on.

That lead to even more questions, basically boiling down to the fact that you're not a super soldier, but you do have enhanced senses- and seemingly enhanced clumsiness for when you're not using them.

You told her about learning how to fight, and the punishments you would endure if you got it wrong. The two of you bonded over the shared experience.

Finally, you told her about how you escaped. When the Winter Soldier escaped, every Hydra effort possible was made to find him. That included you. Resources were spread thin, trying to cover more areas. It was the perfect opportunity for you to get out.

"Really, I owe my freedom to him. Even if he doesn't know anything about me." You felt the tears in your eyes, too many emotions swirling through you to keep it all in anymore. "Since then, I've learned everything I could about technology and coding, which pretty much brings you up to date."

Before she could ask anymore questions, there was another knock on your door. Quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you called another "come in!"

Steve poked his head in the door, cautiously looking between you and Nat.

"I've been sent to stop the interrogation." He grinned, stepping farther into the room.

Nat rose from her spot on the bed, kissing him on the cheek while rolling her eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. We were bonding."

"Yeah, over what?" He chuckled, trying to figure out what the two of you had in common.

Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or maybe Nat just likes knowing more than everyone, but she smiled conspiratorially at you before responding. "Girl stuff, babe. Just girl stuff."

You smiled as the couple left the room, grateful for not having to explain everything again.

Over the next few weeks, the team constantly teased you for your clumsiness. Well, not the whole team. Nat knew the truth, so she never said anything. Peter never teased you either, although that is likely due to the teasing he endures as well.

Weirdly enough, you bonded with the kid over it, eventually telling him about your past as well.

Normally you could shake it off. They clearly didn't mean anything by it. Except Bucky.

Whenever he said anything, he stared you down. His eyes felt like they were piercing your soul. You're not sure exactly why, but he didn't seem to like you much.

Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have an embarrassing crush on the man.

Really your infatuation started when you first escaped Hydra. His own escape lead to your freedom, so you admired him. When you found out he was working with the Avengers to help people, you admired him even more.

Watching him on missions is really what caused the infatuation to blossom into a full blown crush.

You, however, would adamantly deny that if anyone ever asked. Which is what just happened.

"What?!" You nearly tripped, again, with how quickly you turned to look at Wanda and Nat.

"You heard me." Nat stared at you, a neutral expression on her face. "When are you going to do something about your crush on Barnes."

"I, I don't- I don't have a crush on Bucky." You stuttered, a lackluster job at denying the truth.

"Please, Y/N. It's so obvious!" Wanda joined in.

The three of you hung out a lot around the compound. It was nice to have a support system to lean on when things got hard.

"Well, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do! He doesn't like me. I don't know what I did, but his eyes feel like daggers whenever we're in the same room." You started out strong, but quickly morphed into a sad resignation. It genuinely upset you that Bucky didn't like you.

"I think I might know what that's about..." Wanda bit her lip, immediately feeling guilty at having said anything.

"What!?" You eagerly turned to her, needing answers. You shuffled your way across the room, never fully rising from your seat on the ground.

"I don't know if I should tell you! I'm not even supposed to know, but sometimes his thoughts are really loud!" Her guilt multiplied.

"You have to tell me now! Then I can fix it!" You were practically begging at her feet from your position on the floor.

She looked at Nat, who just shrugged in return. "Not my place, although I would love to hear it."

"Ugh, fine. But you can't tell anyone I told you!" Wanda glared at the two of you, unable to say no to your pouting face. "The first day we all met you, do you remember what you said?"

Your face scrunched as you tried to remember. "I'm not a big fan of violence?"

She nodded, looking at you as if she just told you everything.

"So?" You asked incredulously, unable to follow her train of thought.

She rolled her eyes, having to spell it out for you. "He kind of took that personally..."

Immediately, you sunk completely to the floor. "Oh, god. Fuck! That's not what I meant at all! I just meant I don't personally like using violence! Shit, shit, shit." You continued to mutter to yourself as Nat and Wanda shared a look.

"Why don't you like using violence?" Wanda asked, intrigued by your reaction.

You thought back to your conversation with Nat the first day you got here. You told her it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't something you brought up.

"Can you just look in my head? I don't really wanna explain it, but I want you to know." You asked, glad to share you past with another friend.

Wanda nodded, seemingly doing nothing until realization dawned on her.

"Oh shit." She whispered, not even realizing she said it out loud.

"Yeah." You huffed out a dry laugh.

"Y/N... I'm so sorry." You smiled at her, having worked through most of the trauma already. "You totally have a crush on Barnes though."

That earned a real laugh. "Hey, that's not what you were in there for!"

"It's not my fault! You were thinking it really loudly!"

The three of you laughed together until you sunk back into a pit of despair.

"What do I do? How do I fix this?" You whined, laying back on the ground like a child.

"I think you just need to talk to him. Explain what you meant." Wanda shrugged, unsure of any other advice to offer you.

"She's right. Just talk to him." Nat nodded along as you whined on the floor.

After a few days, you finally worked up enough courage to try and talk to Bucky. He had just finished training, so you knew exactly where he'd be: in the kitchen.

Walking in, you were glad to see him pulling ingredients from the fridge.

"Hey Bucky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?" You stuttered through the words, nervous about what he would say.

He barely looked at you, nodding his head for you to continue.

"I just, I wanted to apologize." You trailed off when his head snapped up.

"For what?" Well shit. How are you supposed to explain this one without ratting out Wanda.

"Oh, well, um... I just thought maybe I said- I did something that upset you. Uh, you just don't seem to like me very much, which is totally cool, you don't have to like me if you don't want to. I just didn't want it to be my fault... Fuck." That went horribly. Taking a deep breath, you started over. "I didn't mean it."

Bucky is looking at you like you have three heads. "Didn't mean what?"

"That I don't like violence."

"So you do... like violence." He'd somehow grown more confused.

"Well, no." You paused, unsure of how to explain yourself.

"Then you did mean it." His soul piercing stare is back.

"I-"

"It's fine, save it. Some people get to choose not to be violent." And with that, he left the kitchen, abandoning his post workout smoothie.

You stared at the doorway, in shock over how poorly that went. You stood there , unaware of the 25 minutes that had passed, trying to figure out how it could've gone better when Steve found you.

"Y/N? What are you doing?"

You didn't hear him, too lost in the memories. Memories of Hydra, forcing you to do things you never wanted to. This happened from time to time if something triggered you into remembering, otherwise you had a handle on your emotions.

"Y/N?" Steve said your name again, concern evident in his voice. He gently laid a hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.

Everything happened so fast after that. The feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder caused you to panic. With all the memories of Hydra in your head, your training kicked in instinctually.

You grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him closer to you for better leverage. Before he could question your moves, you flipped him, pinning him to the ground.

The second you made eye contact, you realized what just happened. Horror and regret flashed in your eyes.

In an effort to get off him, you threw yourself backward, knocking into a cart full of pots and pans. The clanging of metal hitting the ground echoed through the small room.

Steve sat up slowly, trying to register the turn of events. You sat in a ball on the floor, tears pooling in your eyes, mumbling apologies over and over again.

Sam, having heard the commotion from the pots and pans, ran into the kitchen ready to fight.

"What- What happened?" He asked in confusion, lowering his arms from their defensive position.

"I don't know." Steve looked at you, still trying to figure it out.

"Y/N?" Sam's voice was gentle, but it still startled you.

You jumped from the ground, rushing to help Steve get up. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt anyone again." Your breathing was picking up, short bursts of air leaving your lungs. Your hands were shaking as you pulled him from the ground.

Your panic increased as you took in their concerned expressions.

"Hey, look at me." Steve's Captain voice, came out, urging you to make eye contact. You followed orders, breathing rapidly, your whole body shaking.

"I'm going to touch you now, is that okay?" His words were gentle, but commanding, causing you to nod in response.

He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You wanted to explain, to tell them what happened, but all that came out was a pitiful "Bucky".

"Do you want me to get Bucky?" Sam asked, trying to understand you.

The idea of Bucky coming back caused your panic to increase. You shook your head rapidly, "No! No no no no no." You kept repeating the word, shaking in Steve's arms.

"Okay! Okay, no Bucky." Sam reassured you, voice calm and soothing.

You’re not sure how long you stood like that. Sam moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had knocked over.

When your breathing steadied, Steve asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

You nodded, leading the two men to the couch in the adjacent common area. You sat for a minute, unsure of where to start.

"Why don't you just lead us through it all?" Steve suggested, still rubbing your back.

You nodded, grateful for the starting point. "I went to the kitchen to apologize to Bucky."

"What for?" Sam interrupted, already confused.

"Sam! Just let her talk." Steve muttered, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry!" He glared back at Steve before turning to you, "Sorry, please continue."

You couldn't help but laugh at their banter.

"Right, I wanted to apologize for what I said the first day I met you all. I realized how it sounded, so I wanted to try and fix it." You paused, waiting for the recognition to hit them.

It didn't take long. The two men nodded, silently urging you to continue.

"Honestly, Wanda told me that was why he always seems mad at me. You have to know, I never meant for it to come across that way! It's more of a personal, 'I don't want to be violent' than shunning others for doing what's necessary." You took a deep breath, not eager to relive the conversation.

"Anyway, I told him I didn't mean it. I just couldn't explain it right, and he got upset, which makes sense!" You turned to look between them, not wanting them to think you were insulting Bucky in any way. "I don't hold what he did against him. It wasn't his choice, and I completely understand that. I just couldn't put that into words when I was talking to him, and I made everything worse."

Tears popped into your eyes again, upset at what he must be going through. You weren't with Hydra for but a tenth of the time he was, and you didn't endure the same level of brainwashing.

"He said something about some people not being able to choose not to be violent, and then he left. I don't know how long I was standing in the kitchen replaying the conversation, but it brought up bad memories for me." You sighed again, working up the nerve to tell them everything.

"Wanda and Nat already know, but I guess it's your guys's turn. This was so much easier to just have Wanda read my mind." You laughed at your own joke, the two men sharing a concerned look.

"I was taken... by Hydra. They experimented on me, gave me enhanced senses, trained me to fight, and punished me when I did something wrong." Again, tears sprung into your eyes, occasionally falling down your cheeks.

"Why wasn't this in your file?" Steve questioned, more to himself than you.

"I haven't got a clue. I guess nobody knew about me? But, I escaped. They didn't brainwash me like they did Bucky, because I don't have the serum. Or, at least, I think that's why." You shook your head, refocusing on the important parts.

"When every available Hydra agent was tasked with searching for the Winter Soldier, I took it as on opportunity. Their resources were spread thin. I was able to getaway."

You went onto explain your reasoning for joining the Avengers as a tech specialist, trying to convey the same earnestness you did with Nat.

"You can ask Nat or Wanda too. Nat found out day one, Wanda a few days ago." You wiped your tears, hoping they believed you. "Actually, Peter knows too."

"I was stuck in all those memories when you came into the kitchen. I didn't even register that you were in the room, so when you touched me I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you!"

You looked at Steve fearful that he would be upset.

"Y/N, I believe you." You cried tears of relief at his statement, genuinely exhausted from the day. "It's not your fault, and you didn't hurt me. Just caught me off guard. You're surprisingly agile when you want to be." He tried to lighten the mood, glad to hear you laugh.

"Well, I train in the middle of the night sometimes. I- I want to be able to get out if I'm ever forced back there." Your voice was quiet, admitting a secret you hadn't even told Nat.

"We won't let that happen." The sternness of Sam's voice surprised you.

"Thank you." You wiped your tears a final time, looking between the two men. "Now, what do I do about Bucky?" You refocused your energy on fixing your relationship with the super soldier.

"He never would have said what he said if he had known." Steve started the conversation, defending his friend.

"I know. I don't hold it against him, I just wish I could explain. I get so nervous when he looks at me like that." You rambled, too tired to filter your thoughts.

"Like what?" Sam asked, eager for more information to tease Bucky with.

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Like he can see into my soul." You deadpanned, earning a laugh from both men. "I just want him to like me." You nearly whined, upset by your poor relationship.

"Like you, huh?" Steve grinned. Nat and Wanda chose that exact moment to walk into the room, eagerly joining the conversation.

"Barnes? Did you tell him how you feel?" Wanda squealed with excitement.

You buried your head in your hands, avoiding the knowing looks the four of them were surely sharing. "Not exactly." You gestured to your head, hoping Wanda would figure it out and share with Nat.

"Ooh... It didn't go well, basically Barnes got upset, Y/N flipped Steve and had a panic attack, then told these two everything." Wanda explained to Nat quickly, trying not to make you relive it.

"We need a plan." Nat declared.

"No, I just need to learn how to have a conversation with the man." You rolled your eyes at yourself. "I'll try talking to him again." You went to leave the room, turning around to glare at them. "And none of you can say a word of this to Bucky."

Despite you request, Steve still tried to talk to Bucky.

"What's up with you?" Steve questioned, trying to subtly pry into Bucky's thoughts.

"Nothing. Why?" Bucky answered in a questioning tone, trying to figure out Steve's motives.

"I heard you talked to Y/N is all. How'd it go?" He gave up on the subtle approach pretty quickly, knowing Bucky wouldn't answer a question that wasn't asked.

"How did you even hear that, punk?" Bucky deflected.

"Not the point. Answer the question."

"Not great. I messed it up." Bucky sighed, annoyed at himself for barging out of the room. "She said wanted to apologize, that she didn't mean what she said." He ran his hands through his hair, struggling to explain where it all went wrong.

"Would've been fine if I could follow what she was saying. She was rambling about me not liking her, which you and I both know isn't true. Ugh, i've never been mad at her. I'm mad at myself! At Hydra for making me a monster! How could she ever like me if she doesn't like violence? My entire past is violent." He huffed, having worked himself up again.

"You're not a monster, Buck." Steve started gently.

"I know you think that." Steve gave him a pointed glare. "I know, okay? But what does she think?"

"Maybe you should try talking to her. You might be surprised by what you learn." Steve clapped him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him, before leaving the room.

Everytime you tried to talk to Bucky, something got in the way. The first time, he was called in for an emergency mission before you even got the word hello out.

The second time, Tony walked into the common area, completely oblivious to the tension, and put on a movie.

The third time, Steve and Nat interrupted you. You were just about to apologize again after an awkward greeting when the elevator doors opened. The sounds of the cheerful laughter and stolen kisses didn't really set the mood for confessing your past with Hydra.

The fourth, and final time, was the most embarrassing.

You walked into the room on a mission. You were going to talk to him, no matter who decided to walk in.

"Bucky, I really need to-" and you tripped on a toy Morgan left out, causing you to tumble to the ground. That would have been embarrassing enough, but there's more.

In your effort to get up, you tripped again, hitting your head on the coffee table, causing you to bleed profusely.

"Shit." You cursed yourself, holding your hand up to your bleeding forehead.

"Are you okay?" Bucky rushed to you from the other side of the table, concerned with the amount of blood spewing from your head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, you chose that moment to jokingly reference your past.

Some of the people who tortured you had a sick sense of humor. Whenever they would hit you hard enough to make you bleed, they said something about only having one head. A play on words because of the greek serpent with multiple heads.

"Head wounds bleed a lot, I'm lucky I only have one." You froze instantly, unsure if he would have had a similar experience. Slowly, you looked up in an effort to make eye contact.

Bucky was also frozen in place. Clearly he understood the reference.

"Wh- where did you hear that?" Bucky struggled with his sentence, trying not to flashback to his time at Hydra.

"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry." You instantly started apologizing, trying to backtrack. "I really need to learn when to stop fucking talking." You said more to yourself than him.

"Where did you hear it?" He asked again, putting more power behind his words.

"Um, well, i've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but um, I also kind of, have, um, well, you see-"

"Just spit it out." There was the slightly miffed Bucky you were used to.

"I was taken. By Hydra. 9 years ago. Um, they forced me to learn how to fight. Tortured me if I did anything wrong. Forced me to do things..." You trailed off, realizing you didn't need to give him many details. He has first hand experience.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off before he could say anything else.

"That's why I don't like using violence. I only know how to do that stuff because they made me learn it. I didn't want to use the skills they gave me." You took a deep, grounding breath.

"I don't blame you for anything you were forced to do. It wasn't your choice. You're not a violent person, and your past actions don't define who you are. You're here to help people. That's what you chose. That's who you are."

You made eye contact before you continued. "I've actually wanted to thank you for the longest time."

"For what?" He was incredulous, wildly caught off guard by everything you've said.

"The only reason I had an opportunity to escape was because 2 years ago, you escaped. If Hydra's resources hadn't been spread so thin trying to find you, I probably would've never got out. So thank you. For being strong enough to fight back."

You smiled at him, still unsure of how he was feeling.

"I... I'm so sorry." To say you were stunned was an understatement. What the hell could he have to be sorry about? Sure he was a little rude, but from your point of view he was completely justified in hating you.

"Bucky, you have no reason to be sorry. You didn't know, and I couldn't get out of my head enough to tell you. You just make me nervous." You clapped a hand over your mouth, shocked at having said what you just said.

You could see his face fall ever so slightly, causing you to jump back into your explanation.

"Not because I'm scared of you or anything! Hell, I could probably take you in a fight." You winked, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, judging by the slight smirk on his face.

"I just, I've looked up to you for so long. Your determination to do good after everything you've been through is really inspiring. It's actually why I wanted to join the Avengers in the first place. I never would have-" You would have kept rambling if he hadn't stopped you.

"Y/N, I am sorry, and I do have reason to be. There's no excuse for what I said to you in the kitchen that day. Even if I didn't know, I threw everything you've been through back in your face. If someone had done that to me, I probably would have had a panic attack." He tried joking, but by the way you froze he could tell he struck a nerve.

"You had a panic attack? I'm so sorry! God, I just left you all alone and-"

It was your turn to cut him off. "Actually, I was kind of frozen in place until Steve touched me and I maybe threw him to the ground... Then I had a panic attack..." You smiled, trying to convey the joke. "So, I wasn't alone. Sam was actually also there. If anything, it made me better friends with both of them because I told them everything. So I have you to thank for that to." You playfully nudged his side.

He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, clearly trying to deal with his own guilt.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know. It happened. We're good now, so we can move on." You smiled, trying to cheer him up.

"How are you so relaxed about all of this? You were tortured for years... I..." He was genuinely curious, trying to find a way to cope with his own pain.

"Well, even before that I always thought therapy could be helpful for me, so I really jumped in full force when I was free. Plus, if you can't joke about something, you haven't really moved on. Some days are harder than others, but I just try to appreciate the people I have now and the good experiences I've been lead to." You kept the tone light, trying not to get too emotional.

He just stared at you for a few minutes, making you questions everything.

"I mean, it's totally different for you though! I was only there for 7 years, you were forced into all that for like 10 times as long. I didn't mean to belittle-"

"I think you inspire me just as much as you say I've inspired you." He cut you off again, a small smile growing on your lips.

"Well, in the spirit of our newfound friendship, can I be totally honest?" You bit your lip, nervous about telling him the truth.

He looked nervous as well, but nodded anyway.

"I kind of, maybe, sort of have a crush on you." You watched his expression carefully, although there was really no need. His face easily gave away his surprise.

"You..." He stuttered, moving his fingers between the two of you. "Me? But, I was so mean!"

"What can I say, I saw through the facade... Well, really Wanda accidentally read your mind and told me why you were so upset around me when her and Nat teamed up to get me to tell you how I feel." You rambled again, realization dawning that you accidentally outed Wanda.

"But you can't tell her I told you that! She didn't mean to! She just said you think really loud sometimes and it's hard not to hear it! She did it to me too actually, I mean I told her she could look in my head so I wouldn't have to explain everything again, I know so lazy, and that's how she confirmed my crush on you." You said it all with wide eyes at a rapid speed, unable to control yourself around Bucky.

You slapped your hands over your mouth, forcing yourself to stop talking. Bucky looked on in amusement, slowly reaching to pull your hands away from your face.

"I won't tell her, if you get dinner with me tonight." He smiled cheekily, relishing in your blush.

"That's a deal I'm willing to make." You reached your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before running to get ready.

***

Bonus:

Sam whined playfully as he looked at the high scores. "Whose username is 'God is a spoon' and how did they get so good at this game?"

He looked around the room, eying any suspicious candidates. Everyone denied it, throwing out accusations left and right.

It was another of Tony's team bonding nights and he chose VR games on the oculus. Obviously, Beat Saber was a top contender amongst the group.

You walked in with Bucky, unaware of the conversation going on, but immediately joining it.

"Peter! I bet it was him!" You playfully nudged the younger Avenger, having formed a close friendship in the early days. "What am I betting on?" Everyone laughed, happy to see you in a good mood after being so stressed for so long.

"Whose username is 'God is a spoon'." Sam chuckled after filling you in. You and Bucky settled on the couch, cuddling next to each other.

"Oh, that's me. Why?" You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what they wanted. "Is it a weird username? It was actually one of the catchphrase things in Just Dance on the switch, I didn't just think of it." You tried to justify yourself, causing more laughter.

"You?! How did you get all the highscores on this game? I thought you were the clumsy one."

You made an exaggerated face to show how offended you were, playfully swatting at Sam.

"I'll have you know, 7 years of Hydra 'training' and experimentation has its perks." You joked with the room. "One of them being I can beat your ass at pretty much any video game."

"Oh, you're so on." Sam smiled, glad he could joke around with you about it.

Meanwhile, Tony looked incredulously around the room, being the only one in the room who hadn't heard about your history, he was rightfully confused.

"I'm sorry, 7 years of WHAT?"

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #natasha romanoff #captain america #tony stark #peter parker #sam wilson #bucky barnes #marvel fic #tw: panic attack #steve rogers x natasha romanoff

2K notes · View notes

mysunnylemonade · 3 years

Text

insecurities | lee jeno

↳ pairing: lee jeno (nct) x fem!reader

↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard

↳ word count: 1482

↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)

song recommendation: met a girl by tarune

♡

Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.

Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.

You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.

You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.

You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.

As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.

You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.

You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.

"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"

Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?

You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"

You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."

You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."

You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."

He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."

You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.

Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.

"Tell me," he muttered softly.

Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."

Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"

"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."

Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"

Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"

His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"

"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."

"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."

"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."

His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."

Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.

Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"

You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."

He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"

Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."

"Lee Jeno!"

♡

739 notes · View notes

smoooothoperator · 3 years

Text

Stronger(Lando Norris)

a/n: a little Sochi GP imagine... just to get it put of the heart. If you want more imagine like this let me know

The week started nice, a little bit rainy, but nice. We arrived at the airport early, so he bought us two coffees while we waited for the plane and the rest of the crew.

"Are you nervous?" Inasked him looking how his leg started to bounce while we were sitting. "Why do you think so?". "Lando, please. I know you". He sighed and looked at the floor, bitting his lip and then looking at me. "There's a lot of rain in Sochi. I used to be exited with rainy races, even the fans loved them. But... since Spa...". "You are afraid after the crash". He nodded with his head and looked again at the floor. "Hey, it's alright. Now the FIA knows what to do, I hope so. But don't be worried"

That was the start of the race week. He was worried. I was worried. Everybody were worried. When we arrived at the hotel the first thing I did was stare out of the window, looking the rain drops making their own race to see which one arrive at the bottom of the glass first. Lando lid on out bed, looking at the ceiling and sighing nervous.

"It's going to be the best race week. I swear it" I whispered, looking at him and walking near the bed and sitting on it, putting my hand on Lando's chest. He took my hand and squeezed it, sighing and then looking at me. "Come on, love. You have to go to the track"

He stood up and packed his backpack with his and mine things and grabbed my hand walking out of the room. We greeted everyone who wavef to us and stepped into the rented car, driving to the Sochi Autodrom. Kym saw us and took some photos of us arriving to the paddock, with our hands intertwined and smiling to each other. Charlotte and Jon saw us walking into the McLaren motorhome and they hugged me.

"He is a little nervous, I'll try my best to keep him calm, but I don't promise if it will work" I whispered into their ears.

Lando attended to the meeting with his engineers and mechanics and he did some interviews with Daniel. The first day was relaxed, nothing to worried about.

But the next days were a rollercoaster. The morning started with Lando looking at the street through the window, biting his lips at the sight of the rain. The practices were nice, he didn't complained about the rain or the wet track.

He was doing fine.

And then on Saturday, when they announced that the practice of the morning was cancelled he lost his mind. He closed himself of his driver room, meditating and calming himself by his own.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I think he will have a nice qualifying" Jon said when he saw that I was looking at the door of Lando's room.

Then he opened the door and walked to me, hugging me and kissing my lips with a smile.

"Thank you for being here" he whispered and then ran to the garage.

I watched the quali on the motorhome. I watched Lando getting the pole position. I watched how he opened the door and ran to me, wrapping his arms on my waist and pulling me into him. I laughed with him, celebrated his first pole and enjoyed watching his smile the whole day.

Then the race day came.

It started as well as expected. He woke me up hugging me and kissing my naked shoulder m, cuddled my a little while and woke up exited. The nerves of the previous days disappeared and were replaced by a permanent smile.

"You were right, darling. This is going to be the race of the season" he kissed my cheek before putting his helmet on and walked out of the garage.

I watched the race on his box, with Jon and Charlotte by my side. We exclaimed happy when he started to lead the race and fought to keep his position, when he got the fastest lap, when he leaded the race again.

But then the rain came back. At the start it was light, barely detectable. But then it was getting worse.

"Fuck" Jon groaned.

We saw the screen and they announced that all the drivers were changing their tyres. But when they said to Lando that he should change them...

"NO! SHUT UP!"

I jumped surprised by his scream. The garage was quiet, looking at the screens desperately. Charlotte and I grabbed our hands nervous, looking slowly how the mood on the box was getting worse.

And then he lost the control. He lost tho control of his car and slipped out of the track. I gasped, seeing how Hamilton took his position, watching how Lando tried to came to the pit lane, how his mechanics changed the tyres. Watching in complete silence how he crossed the finish line.

The garage at this moment was a scary place. No one was moving, talking or blinking. All of us were watching how he crossed the line the eighth.

"Oh my god, Lando"

He stayed some minutes on the car, we saw it. He didn't want to get out of.it, even this engineer reminded him of turning it off. George came to check on him, and I thanked him mentally. He got put of his car and ran with his helmet still on his head to congratulate Hamilton, hugging him without saying anything.

"I'll go see how he is" I whispered.

Charlotte nodded speechless

I waled through the paddock trying to contain my tears, feeling my breath getting heavier, and walked into the building. Everyone there were quiet, and when I saw Steve looking at the screen of his camera I walked near him.

"Where is Lando?". "He... he closed himself on his room. I tried to speak with him but he was quiet all the way here. Go talk to him, Y/N, you are the oy one that can do something".

I nodded and walked uo the stairs, standing in front of his door and knocking at it with hesitation. I didn't hear nothing from inside, so I opened the door slowly and look for him. He was standing there, in the middle of the room with his helmet on his head.

"Oh, my love" I sighed walking to him, but he took a step back. "I don't want you to see me like this" he whispered with shaky voice.

I bite my lip and placed my hands on his helmet, searching for his eyes. I know he cried. And he had the rights to do it. I kissed his helmet and pulled it off of his head slowly. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red.

"Baby" I sighed and put my hand on his cheek, tracing the line the helped left there. His closed his eyes hard, trying to erase the tears that are trying to escape. "You can do it, baby. I am here"

That was what he needed. He wrapped his arms around me and hide his face on my neck, and immediately his body started to shake with sobs. I walked slowly back and he followed me without letting me go, and lied on his bed.

"It's ok, it's ok. I got you"

He continued crying on my neck and I had to bit hard my lips to not cry. The door opened slowly and Charlotte's head appeared, but when she saw Lando curled against me and his body shaking with silent sobs, she smiled and closed it again.

"It hurts so much". "I know, honey. But your time will come. And soon. You were made to be a champion. What happened today was a demonstration that you can keep Hamilton looking at your ass for a long time"

I tried my best to make him smile. And he did it. I felt his lips smiling on my skin.

"Just be patient. Keep training. Keep fighting. What you did today was a mistake. But everyone does mistakes. Schumacher, Senna, Hamilton... but they learned from them. What you learned from today is that you have to trust your engineers, listen to your team. They do the best for you, they want you to win. And I hope you apologized to then because you screamed to them". "I did before coming here". "Good. Now, change your clothes, clean your face and show me one of your smiles"

He looked at me, tired and with puffy eyes. I pressed my lips on his and ofelt how he smiled.

"Smile, baby. Show them that you are strong, that you have the most beautiful smile even if your heart hurts like hell. I'll be there by your side like always". "I love you so much" he sighed and a little tear ran out of his eye. "I love you too, babe"

I walked behind him and when we saw Charlotte she gave me her recorder, smiling and nodding to me. I thanked her and grabbed Lando's hand, showing him the recorder and letting him know that I'll be by his side. He went to the interviews nervous, trying to not cry, and when he was trying to do it y squeezed his hand.

"Y/N" I heard Carlos on my back and turned around.

Lando was doing an interview alone, so I checked on him one last time and walked to the Spanish driver. When I was in front of him, he hugged me.

"Thank you so much for taking care of him. I was so worried that he closed himself and ran to the hotel instead doing the interviews" he whispered on my ear. "It's okay. And congratulations for the podium". "I would have enjoyed better if Lando was on top and I was second... it was our dream"

I smiled ti him and he walked to another interview. I saw George and called him, running to him and hugging him.

"This is for checking on him before" I thanked him and walked away hearing him laugh.

The next driver I shared a hig with was Daniel, who walked to us when we were coming back to the motorhome. He first hugged Lando, whispering something to him and then he hugged me.

"You are the best for him. You are his world. Thank you for looking after him, he deserves it". I smiled and tightened the hug a little bit more. "You finally bonded and I'm so happy for you, Daniel. He sees you as his big brother and his so happy to help you"

Daniel kissed my forehead and walked away, Lando and I watching how he greeted everyone.

"Let's go home, baby" he sighed, grabbing my hand and kissing it.

#lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris #formula 1 #mclaren

177 notes · View notes

deanstead · 3 years

Text

Somebody’s Watching

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Request by danipearl16: Request- Jay has a girlfriend that nobody knows about and then they get a case where she’s being stalked and her stalker is killings women that seem to remind him of her and it turns out to be her ex-boyfriend from high school and Jay starts going downhill a little bit because he’s worried about her. Also his girlfriend is more on the younger than his side by 7 years

Word Count: 4,365

Warnings: cursing, mention of sexual assault/misconduct (non-graphic), mention of non-con touching, stalking, minor OC death, mention of injury, angst, fluff

A/N: Please beware of the triggers before you continue reading! I changed some parts to fit into the storyline but I still hope you like what I did with it! I’m pretty excited about this fic so I really really hope yall will like it! It’s my first time writing such a detailed case in so I hope it turned out well? Please hit me up and let me know what you think! Love yall!

---

You looked up from where you were sprawled on the couch, fiddling with your phone. Jay was sitting at the table, a small frown across his face as he pored over case notes.

Jay usually didn’t bring his work home with him but they’d just closed a big case and he had spent a whole week in the district. So instead of spending more time there to finish the paperwork, Jay had opted to bring it home instead.

You smiled to yourself just as Jay looked up. “Sorry babe.” He said, making a little face at the papers strewn across the table.

Chuckling, you climbed off the couch and moved towards him. You stood behind him, looping your arms around his shoulders, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I missed you.” You whispered.

Jay turned slightly, tugging you so that you now landed in his lap.

“Missed you too.” He whispered, smiling as one of his arms snaked around your waist, holding you securely to him, another hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “Sorry I’ve been busy.”

You shook your head, smiling.

You’d been dating for a while but no one else knew. Both of you had agreed to keep it on the down low, partly because of your age difference. Even though you had agreed you’d keep it quiet at least for the first few months, it had been a lot more than that and it had been going so well that you didn’t really want to purposefully invite anyone into this world that Jay and you had created for yourselves. Rather than keeping it a secret, you guys just hadn’t made the effort to tell anyone or publicize it to the world. This also meant that when he was stuck at the district, you didn’t get to see him but on such days, Jay was always mindful about checking in.

“What’s on your mind?” Jay asked.

“Just thinking I’m lucky to have you.” You responded, leaning in to try to give him a hug. Instead, Jay stroked your cheek and pressed his lips to yours. “Now, I really need to finish this.”

You laughed. “Go forth.”

---

Jay had taken a few well-deserved days of furlough, which he had mostly spent curled up with you. You didn’t have any complaints, it had been just what you both needed.

But Intelligence couldn’t catch a break. It was Jay’s first day back and now, he was already walking up to a crime scene.

Jay pushed the yellow crime scene tape upwards, letting Hailey walk through ahead of him before following behind her.

“What do we have?” Jay asked, approaching the spot where Adam and Kim were standing.

Kim turned. “Kate Whitewood, 22, stabbed multiple times.”

“She’s not in the system. No priors, nothing.” Adam added.

“No belongings on her?” Voight asked, looking around.

Adam shook his head. Jay frowned. “There’s barely any blood here.”

Kevin nodded, jogging forward to join them. “This is probably just the dump site. She must have been killed elsewhere.”

Hailey stood from where she had bent to examine the body. “She has defensive wounds on her. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find skin under her fingernails.”

Jay bent forward slightly. “What are those? Marks around her neck? We need to get her to the ME to get the exact cause of death.”

“Kim, bag her hands and get forensics to run a deluxe.” Voight said, as Kim nodded.

“My CI works this street, let me see what I can find out.” Jay said, turning away.

---

“So Kate was last seen at this bar right in town.” Hailey said, walking in and sticking a screenshot onto the board, which showed a camera view of the street outside the bar.

Kate could be seen on the image, her head turned slightly as she waved to someone, a man standing by her side. Hailey tapped the image.

“We can’t find this guy. His face is always turned away from the camera, facial recognition is out.”

Voight nodded. “Jay, have you heard from your CI?”

Jay nodded, resting slightly against Hailey’s desk, his arms crossed in front of him. “My guy says there haven’t been any deals going down. I think we can rule out drugs or gangs. Streets have been quiet ever since that big bust we did last month.”

“It was 28 degrees out last night, ME couldn’t find the exact time of death. But there were signs she was raped, signs of asphyxiation and five penetration wounds from a knife.” Kevin said, opening the file he had gotten from the medical examiner earlier.

Voight turned to Kim. “Who was she?”

Kim sighed. “Kate was a hard worker, she had just started her job as a receptionist at a dentist’s office in South Loop. Dad’s MIA, Mum’s remarried and relocated to New York so she’s living on her own.”

“Have we found who she was with last night?”

Adam nodded. “I’ve gone through her phone. Looks like she was meeting her friend Grace at the club last night.”

“We need to talk to her. I want to know about the last day of Kate’s life. Timeline. Check all sex offenders in the area. Comb her social media. Let’s go.” Voight instructed.

---

Jay knocked on the main door, glancing sideways at Hailey. The door swung open.

“Grace Archer? I’m Detective Upton, this is Detective Halstead, can we come in?” Hailey asked.

She furrowed her brows. “What’s this about?”

“You’re friends with Kate Whitewood?” Hailey asked, without directly answering her question. She nodded and without missing a beat, Hailey continued, “We need to ask you a few questions about last night.”

Grace stepped back to let them in, her face falling as she led them to the sitting room.

“I heard from her parents. The whole thing’s horrible.” Grace whispered, wrapping her hands around herself.

“Can you tell us what you remember?” Jay asked.

Grace looked up. “Kate’s boyfriend had broken up with her a few months ago, so I took her out. She needed to get out again.”

“Were you approached by anyone?” Hailey asked.

“Several.” She answered.

“Anyone that stood out?”

Grace paused, trying to recall. “Kate didn’t even really want to go. She barely looked at the guys… except…”

Hailey sat up a little. “There must have been something about this guy that she left with, something unique. We have a photo of him on the surveillance tape. Flashy?”

Grace nodded, “Yeah, he had this like... attitude… like he was hitting on us but he was making a joke of it at the same time.” She paused. “The last thing she told me was that she had a great time… I shouldn’t have forced her to come out.”

“This isn’t your fault.” Hailey leaned over and patted Grace comfortingly on the arm. “Thanks for talking to us. Please call us if you think of anything else.”

As Jay walked out of Grace’s house with Hailey, he looked at his partner. “This guy’s confident, he’s smooth and it doesn’t look like he knew Kate or Grace.”

---

For the rest of the day, the team had almost combed through the whole of Kate’s whereabouts before she had disappeared and all they had was a big fat nothing.

Jay typed a quick text to you to let you know that he wasn’t going to be able to come over tonight.

You read the text, smiling a little. Jay was busy but it was cute that he always kept you informed. You stopped walking, typing back a reply to tell him it was okay and to do what he had to do, before you kept her phone back into your pocket.

You walked along the street, the same street you walked on every night, frowning a little. You turned around, scanning the street behind you.

You could swear that it was like someone was watching you, or following you. But the street was empty. This wasn’t the first time you had had this feeling - like the little hairs on the back of your neck were standing but you had nothing to back up this feeling you had.

Holding your bag tighter against you, you pushed yourself forward, quickening your footsteps, only letting up as you passed the safety of your apartment building’s front door.

As you passed the threshold of your apartment and closed the door behind you, you pulled out your phone, staring at it for a while. Part of you wanted to call Jay, to hear his voice and have him tell you that you were just tired, imagining things. But the rational part of your brain convinced yourself that everything was okay, reminding you that Jay was so busy and deep in a case, he really shouldn’t have to worry about you.

Ultimately, you put your phone on the counter, chuckling at yourself. Maybe you really were too tired.

---

By the next morning, another body had turned up, not two streets away from the first dump site.

Jay felt an uneasy feeling spread in the pit of his stomach as he stared at the photo of the new victim that was already up on the board. They had a serial killer in Chicago and this guy’s victim type had physical characteristics that were scarily similar to you.

“Jay.” Hailey broke Jay out of his thoughts. “Emma Green, 23, strangulation marks, six stab wounds.”

Jay turned to his partner and nodded. “Did they go to the same club?”

Hailey handed Jay a file. “No, but look at what we picked up on the surveillance camera.” Jay opened the file, studying the photo.

“This is our guy isn’t it?” He pointed at a male figure who was standing next to their second victim, his face still hidden from the camera, wearing a plain cap.

“Hey guys, I might have found a link.” Kim said, walking in. “I checked the employee records and there’s a bartender that works in both clubs and he was on shift on each day our victims went missing. He’s got a prior for aggravated assault and harassment.”

“We’ll take it.” Jay said, grabbing his jacket and heading out of the district.

Hailey fell into step next to him, glancing at him. “Jay, you okay?”

Jay nodded. “Let’s just get this son of a bitch.”

They travelled the rest of the way in silence. Hailey seemed to pick up that this case was affecting Jay differently but she didn’t press further, allowing Jay to lead the way into the closed club.

“Ben Carlton?”

The bartender looked up from where he was, his eyes falling onto the police badge that was hung around Jay’s neck.

In a sudden motion, he ducked out and ran.

“Hey, stop!” Jay yelled, as both he and Hailey launched themselves after him, Hailey shooting out the front door to try to head him off.

“5021 George, I have a suspect fleeing on foot.” Jay called into his radio, sprinting after the bartender.

The bartender barely made it onto the next street before Hailey flung herself at him around the corner, rolling onto the ground as Jay pulled out his gun. “Don’t move!” He yelled, as Hailey pulled the bartender to his feet.

“Let’s go.” Jay snarled.

---

“It wasn’t me!” Ben yelled as he sat in the interrogation room, facing Jay and Hailey.

Jay sighed internally, watching Ben’s reactions and the way he was answering the questions Hailey was shooting at him.

“Those were mistakes, I didn’t do this!” He yelled again.

Jay pushed himself upright, getting up from where he was leaning against the wall and pushing the photos of the victims onto the table. “This. Look at this. We can place these girls at the bars you worked at just before they died.”

“Look.” Ben said, looking up at Jay. “I saw them but they left before I even finished my shift.”

Jay glanced at Hailey. “Who did they leave with?” Hailey asked.

Ben looked from Hailey to Jay. “Look, I don’t know the guy, he’s not a regular. But he’s white, about their age. I noticed him because he headed for them the moment that he walked in. Like he knew they were there.”

Before Jay or Hailey moved, a knock came from the door.

“You guys gotta see this.” Adam said, sticking his head in.

“Sit tight.” Jay said to Ben, following Adam outside, where Kevin was waiting as well.

Kevin handed the file to Jay. “We got another one.” Jay flipped open the file, which told him what he already feared. Another victim, of a physical type that not only matched the first two victims but also you.

Jay looked up. “His cooling off period is getting shorter. We need to get this son of a bitch.”

---

The feeling was getting a little stronger that someone had been watching you.

You glanced over your shoulder but as usual the street was empty. Maybe you needed to stop staying late.

You turned back towards the front. There were sounds of footsteps but you swallowed the lump in your throat, quickening your pace as discreetly as you could.

It definitely felt like someone was following you now. You were almost running by the time you rounded the corner, colliding with someone.

You gave a yelp of surprise.

“Y/N!”

You had collided with Jay.

You let out a breath, spinning around to look over your shoulder.

“What’s going on? You okay?” Jay’s eyes snapped from you to the empty street behind you.

You turned back to look at Jay. Now that he was standing in front of you, it didn’t seem that scary anymore - maybe you had imagined the whole thing.

You shook your head, taking one last glance behind you. “What are you doing here? You finished the case?”

Jay smiled but the smile didn’t really reach his eyes. “Just wanted to check in on you. I have to go back soon.”

You reached for his hand without saying anything and that’s how the both of you walked back to your apartment, your hand clenched securely in his, almost like the both of you had a tight bubble around you.

You could tell Jay’s mind was far away, and it was even more unlike him to come see you in the middle of a case. You knew there was something troubling him but you weren’t one to press. Jay would tell you when he felt he could or he wanted to.

Instead, you just squeezed his hand.

Almost as if you were prying him from his thoughts, Jay looked at you and smiled. He pulled you closer to him, tucking you under his arm.

“You’re okay, right?” You asked, without looking up at him, just as he escorted you to your door.

Jay turned to look at you and nodded. “I will be, once this case is over.” He leaned forward to give you a kiss. “If anything happens, you call me, okay? No matter what.”

You raised an eyebrow but nodded at him, watching him disappear into the elevator before you retreated back into your apartment.

---

Intelligence had been tirelessly chasing down leads but they now had four bodies and Voight was getting pressure to solve this quickly as well. They needed a break in this case and fast.

“Okay, let’s regroup, what do we have so far?” Voight barked.

“All four victims were raped and found with multiple stab wounds. We know he picks up his victims from bars and appears non-threatening enough that his victims are willing to leave with him.” Jay said, getting up.

Hailey headed to the board, frowning. “We dumped their phones but we weren’t able to find any connection between the victims other than their physical type.” Hailey cast a look at Jay, which Voight didn’t miss. “I think he’s working his way up to something.”

“Hey guys?” Kim spoke up as she walked back in, flipping open the file sitting on her desk. “I went back over the first murder to see if we missed anything. Look at this.”

Kim pulled in her chair, zooming into the photo. “This badge here on his jacket, it’s barely visible so we missed it the first few times. I sent it to the lab to see if they could enhance the image and this is what I got.”

Kim clicked and up popped the crest of a high school. “Look, it’s not just a general badge. Look at the year.”

“Okay, that is the crest for Lincoln High. It’s a jacket given to those who graduated that year.” Kevin said, frowning at it.

“I’ll run the list of students who graduated in that year.” Jay barked, heading straight for his desk, his fingers flying across his keyboard.

Cross-checking was the worst job ever but the moment Jay’s eyes landed on your name on the list of graduates, he pulled it together, eliminating the women, men who had moved out of state or country, until finally he only had three names on the list.

“Okay, I have a Steven Miller, Charles Shoemaker and John Marlin.” Jay finally spoke up as everyone looked up. “But only Steven Miller has priors.”

“For harassment, sexual misconduct, and attempted assault. Sarge, this has to be our guy.” Jay looked up at Voight.

“Do we have an LKA?” Voight asked.

“Already on it.” Adam said.

“Go pick him up.” Adam nodded, motioning to Kevin as they headed out.

Something was bugging Jay. Steven Miller. That name was…

Fuck.

Jay pushed back his chair, entering Voight’s office without knocking and closing the door behind him.

“Sarge.”

Voight looked up, frowning a little at the look on Jay’s face. He put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, looking up at Jay.

“I’ve heard Miller’s name before. It was bugging me, but I remember now.”

Voight sat up straighter.

“I’m seeing his ex-girlfriend.” The words slipped past Jay’s lips. “Sarge, everything makes sense now. The physical type, the way he’s building up because his actual target…” Jay trailed off.

You had told Jay about Steven just once. You hadn’t gone into detail but you had told Jay about the short period that you had been together with Steven – his need for control over all aspects of your life, how he had always been a little rough, how he hadn’t taken any form of rejection well, and how you’d ended it the day he struck you.

“Take Hailey.”

Jay was already halfway to the door.

---

You had left early today.

It had been a while since you had done such an early shift but you’d been feeling more and more uneasy while walking home at night and the news coverage on the murders that were happening at the moment didn’t help.

You didn’t need Jay to tell you that you looked exactly like those girls who had been murdered. It was clear as day.

You fiddled with the key in the lock, opening the door.

You felt your heart drop into your stomach as you registered the person standing in front of you. In your house.

“Steven.” You muttered, your voice trembling, barely registering the butt of a gun heading towards your temple before it went dark.

---

Hailey hadn’t said anything but she knew something was off.

“Jay, what’s going on?” She asked. “How do you know this girl’s the target?”

Jay didn’t answer but pressed harder on the accelerator, gripping the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles were white. The ringing tone going off through his bluetooth speaker in the car making him feel even worse.

“Jay.” Hailey said again. “I’m your partner.”

Jay glanced at her now. “She’s my girlfriend.”

Hailey’s eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

Jay let a beat of silence passed. “Miller’s her ex. I should have seen the signs, the physical type, everything, I…”

“Jay. She’ll be fine. Come on.” Hailey reassured him, as he turned his truck onto the familiar street.

“She’s still not answering.” Jay said, through gritted teeth. He’d been trying to call you since he had left the station.

Without hesitation, Jay bounded up the stairs, Hailey right behind him. From down the corridor, Jay could already tell your door was slightly ajar.

“Hang back.” Jay whispered, pulling out his service weapon.

Jay quietly approached the door. “Y/N?” He opened the door with his foot, freezing as his eyes landed on you, sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, your eyes frantic as Steven held a knife to your throat from where he stood behind you.

Jay gritted his teeth, using his foot to slam the door shut, knowing that Hailey would know what to do.

“Step away from her.” Jay growled, pointing his gun directly at Steven.

Steven smiled. “I was wondering when you’d arrive. Put that down.”

Jay grinded his teeth but didn’t move. You felt the cold blade of the knife press against your skin and inhaled sharply.

“Put. It. Down.” Steven repeated.

“Okay, okay.” Jay said, glancing at you before putting his hands above his head, disarming his gun and putting it down onto the floor.

Steven smiled again, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” Jay growled.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what to do.” Steven answered.

“Jay, I’m sorry.” You whispered.

Jay looked straight at you. “It’s going to be okay. You focus on me, you hear me? I’m right here.”

“We broke up a long time ago, what the hell are you doing?” You asked. You were afraid, hell you were trembling, but this was crazy and you had to help Jay to find a way out of this.

“We wouldn’t be broken up if he hadn’t come between us.” Steven snarled, moving closer towards you, his lips almost touching your ear.

Jay growled. “Leave her alone.”

Steven looked back up at Jay again.

“What, you mean don’t do this?” Steven asked, crushing his lips against yours.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Jay yelled. “Is that what you did? How you forced yourself on all the other girls? What do you want, Steven? What are you trying to accomplish?”

“All I wanted was to be with Y/N! But you took her.” He spat.

“So you decided to go on a rampage?” Jay asked. You saw him twitch like he was looking for something so you started talking, as much as it made you want to gag.

“Steven, why didn’t you just talk to me?” You asked, trying to distract him.

“Talk? All you care about is him!” He yelled, lifting the knife and pointing it at Jay.

It happened in a split second.

The moment he lifted the knife, Jay yelled, “Now, Y/N!”

You threw yourself forward, covering your head with your hands as you heard the gunshots go off, just two. You weren’t sure who was shooting but you didn’t move until you heard Jay’s voice again.

“Y/N, it’s okay, it’s over.” Jay whispered.

You looked up, Jay’s face hovering above you.

“Jay…”

Jay nodded, “It’s okay, come here.”

Jay pulled his arms around you.

“He…” Jay shook his head, shielding your view of Steven’s now motionless body. “Don’t look back, come on.”

Jay tried to lead you out of the apartment, barely making it to the main door before his teammates appeared. “Jay!” Kevin called, as he spotted both of you.

Jay nodded. “Thanks.” Kevin nodded, his eyes lingering on the way Jay was holding you close to his side before making way for Jay to lead you back down to the ground floor where the ambulances were waiting.

Jay led you all the way to the waiting paramedics, not even leaving your side to get himself checked.

You weren’t hurt, not really. There was a little open cut from where Steven had pressed the blade a little too hard when he had been agitated but other than that you were fine. Well, that, and that disgusting feeling that came with remembering how Steven had pressed his lips against yours.

Voight approached you and Jay. Jay squeezed your hand. “I’ll be right back.” You smiled and nodded.

Jay and Voight talked in low voices until Voight turned to look at you. “And she’s okay?”

Jay nodded. “Yeah, she is. I just need to…”

“Do what you need to do. We’ll finish up here.” Voight said, nodding and clapping Jay on the back.

---

The paramedics had dressed the wound on the scene before Jay had brought you back to his apartment.

After getting you into a clean change of clothes and some warm food in you, you had ended up back in your favourite place in the world – on Jay’s couch, in Jay’s apartment, encircled in Jay’s arms.

You lay your head on Jay’s chest.

“So this was all because of me?” You asked in a low voice.

Jay sat up, looking at you. “What?”

“He killed all those women… because of me. I got them killed.” You whispered.

“No, no, baby.” Jay propped himself up, but didn’t let you go. “This is not your fault. Steven he… he did this, not you.”

You looked up at him. “He even… in front of you… he…” You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, you felt disgusting. He’d kissed you, he’d done it in front of Jay and he’d ruined everything.

You hadn’t said that much but Jay just tilted your chin upwards and kissed you. “Jay…”

“I’ll take it all away.” Jay whispered. “I’m sorry, I should have been there sooner.”

You shook your head, swiping away the tears that had slid down your cheeks.

Jay cupped your cheek again, pulling you into his chest. You balled your hand around his shirt, gripping at Jay.

“It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Jay whispered.

“I’ll never let anyone touch you ever again.” He half snarled, still caressing you gently.

You leaned into his embrace, closing your eyes as the sound of Jay’s heartbeat gently lulled you back into the feeling of safety and security.

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #resanoona request #tw #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead imagine #chicago pd x you

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imaginesandbandfiction · 2 years

Text

Harry Styles — Lights Up

Fine Line Series Part 12

Oh. my. god. It’s the final chapter! I can’t believe it. Thanks for sticking with my through this journey! I’m sad it’s over, but I’ve got a lot of good stuff in store this year so stay tuned!

Masterlist

Lights Up and They Know Who You Are

As the number of shows left slowly dwindled down, the mood backstage shifted. It felt like senior year of high school, where everyone was trying to make the most of the time that was left while also preemptively mourning the end of an era.

The one exception was Harry. Although he loved being on tour, you knew he was ready to be at home and out of the spotlight for a little while. All of the late nights and the physical toll of performing were starting to add up. You admired his dedication and how he was able to push all of that aside and continue showing up for his fans, giving them the show of a lifetime night after night, in city after city.

By the time you made it to Seattle, the last show on the road before four shows back in California, he was less enthusiastic about getting up in the mornings.

“Just wanna stay in bed with you all day,” he mumbled into your hair on the morning of the show.

“You can stay in bed all day if you really want, well at least until sound check, but I gotta be at the arena by 11,” you said. “I’m still a tour assistant for the next week.”

You flipped over in Harry’s arms and came face-to-face with his pouty lips, which you pressed a delicate kiss to.

“Remind me again why I haven’t fired you?” His eyes blinked open to stare at you puppy-dog style.

“Because you’re not actually in charge of me, Jeff is.”

“Fuck Jeff.” With a laugh, you leaned in to press another kiss to Harry’s lips. When he wrapped his arms around you tighter to pull you closer and opened his lips against yours, you wriggled out of his grasp.

“Hey!” He exclaimed. “I wasn’t done.” You rolled off the bed and pointed to the digital clock flashing 10:23 on the nightstand.

“Sorry babe, I gotta get in the shower,” you said, not really sorry at all. The man was used to getting what he wanted, so it would do him some good to be left hanging. He groaned and pressed your pillow to his face to block out the light that flooded into the room when you opened the bathroom door.

It was safe to say he needed a break.

Although the last two shows were back home in LA, the entire crew was staying at a hotel close to the Forum because everyone was spread out across Los Angeles and Orange County and with LA traffic nothing would get done on time if they had to commute. Which was fine by you, as you were currently apartment-less.

Harry was excited to finally be able to announce your relationship and spent hours choosing a photo and drafting his caption the day of the final show. It filled you with happiness to watch, especially after the whole NDA debacle. You had your photo all picked out too, ready to go as soon as Harry posted his.

“As soon as I’m offstage, I’m posting it,” he said, turning around in the makeup chair to flash you a wide grin. You smiled back at him from your spot on the couch.

Before you could respond, your walkie-talkie went off. It was security telling you that your best friend had arrived.

“Can’t wait, baby,” you told Harry. You grabbed your dress for the night and your makeup bag and rushed over to press a kiss to the top of Harry’s head. “Good luck tonight, H.”

“Are you going to be in the pit or VIP?”

“The pit, of course.” He leaned his head back and puckered up his lips, awaiting another kiss which you were happy to provide.

“Love you!” You called over your shoulder as you left his dressing room in search of Y/BFF/N.

“Love you more,” he responded, his voice echoing into the hallway through the open door. Zack, who was walking past, looked at you with wide eyes and made a fake gagging noise, to which you rolled your eyes.

“You just wish he was saying it to you,” you teased.

“How do you know he wasn’t?” Zack shot back, making you laugh. Although you enjoyed every show, you had a really good feeling about LA Night 2, and you walked down to the back doors like you were floating through the clouds on a sunny summer day.

After picking her up from security, you led your best friend to one of the backstage bathrooms to get ready. You put in extra effort to look good, wearing a dress that wrapped around your body leaving your midriff bare and smudging matching eyeshadow across your eyelids. Knowing that the pit would be crowded and hot, you clipped your hair back, which had the added benefit of showing off your silver hoops.

When you were both ready, you grabbed your VIP badges and some drinks before heading into the pit. Doors had just opened, so people were starting to trickle in but you were able to get front and center without any issues. You felt a little guilty at taking up a front row spot when you had seen almost every show on the tour, but it was the very last one and he was your boyfriend so you wanted to really make the most of it.

As the pit started to fill up more, you were pushed forward and had hardly any personal space. The girl to your left was shoved into you, subsequently knocking you into Y/BFF/N.

“I’m so sorry,” the girl apologized, turning towards you. Recognition flashed in her eyes as soon as she saw you. “Oh my god, are you Y/N?”

“I am,” you said, giving her a small smile. “And this is my friend Y/BFF/N.” The girl turned to punch her friend in the arm.

“Tif! It’s Y/N!” She squealed.

“Oh my god hi! I’m Tiffany!” Her friend said, speaking really fast out of excitement.

“I’m Kelsey, by the way,” the first girl clarified. “Can we get a picture with you?”

“Of course! I’m not the famous one, though,” you answered with a chuckle. Y/BFF/N took Kelsey’s phone and you posed between the two girls, who couldn’t have been much older than sixteen.

“You’re famous, too, though. Without you, we’d have a lot less Harry content.” You laughed, humming in agreement. The photos you posted to your story every night were screenshotted thousands of times and ended up on every fan page. If only they knew just how many photos of Harry you had in your camera roll -- they’d probably faint. You decide to pull one up to show them from earlier in the afternoon of Harry in the makeup chair with a fluffy headband like the ones beauty gurus use keeping the hair off his face. His head was tilted back so the makeup artist could have better access to his face, and his eyes were closed in a look of pure bliss.

“Harry would kill me if he knew I showed anybody this, but…” You trailed off, sliding your phone towards them with a smirk.

“You were in his dressing room?” Tiffany shrieked, reaching out to try and grab your phone for a closer look. Before she could, you pulled it back and shut it off, shoving it into your pocket. “Does that mean the rumors are true?” Her voice lowered and she leaned in closer.

“I’m a tour assistant, we’re all in and out getting things ready,” you answered, rolling your eyes.

“So where are you guys from?” Y/BFF/N asked, cutting into the conversation to try and change directions.

You chatted with the girls for a few more minutes but when Kacey Musgraves took the stage, you turned back towards the stage to cheer for her. Over the past few months on tour, you had become pretty good friends and you wanted to support her just as much as you would support Harry.

Kacey’s set was great, she was so sweet and the crowd had gone crazy for her. It made your heart sing, knowing it would mean a lot to her as she was hoping to set out on her own headlining tour for her new album. During the fifteen minute period where all of the stage crew got things ready for Harry, you could feel the crowd’s excitement level growing until the room seemed to vibrate with it.

Harry absolutely killed it. His energy levels were through the roof, he practically sprinted across the stage during every song, not able to stay in one place for very long. You and Y/BFF/N screamed your lungs out in the front row, jumping and dancing in time with the music. During Sign of the Times, you started to tear up at the thought of the tour ending. Once the song was over, Harry took his bows and exited the stage, only to reappear a minute later for the encore. After finishing The Chain, the band took a water break, and Harry started talking to fill in the silence.

“Alright, I’ve got one last song for you,” He said, raising his voice to be heard over the screaming crowd. They roared even louder and he paused for a moment, waiting for them to quiet down. He looked down and met your eyes with a small smile, before he continued. “But before we get into that, I’d like to chat with you all about something.” Y/BFF/N turned to look at you questioningly, but you just shrugged in response. You had no idea what he was talking about; he hadn’t mentioned anything to you.

“So I know there’s been some speculation about my personal life, and I’d like to clear up some rumors…” Your heart skipped a beat. He said he wasn’t planning some big announcement, just the Instagram post, but maybe he had changed his mind and was telling everyone that he was single. Y/BFF/N wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding you tight.

“But first, I want to give a gold star to you for your detective skills! Very perceptive lot, you are… Just as you suspect, I am dating someone… And that someone happens to be on tour with me…” Harry continued, pausing every few words to let the cheering die down. “It’s Kacey Musgraves!” The whole room fell silent and you caught Harry winking at you. He only kept them hanging for a few seconds, though. “Just kidding, it’s Y/N, but you already knew that.”

The screams were deafening. Tiffany and Kelsey were yelling “I KNEW IT!” at you, and your best friend was laughing, pulling you in for a real hug. To be honest, you were too stunned to react at first, knowing that the applause was, in part, for you. Suddenly, Y/BFF/N was pushing you forwards to where security had opened the barricade.

“Come on,” Harry said to you softly, without the microphone. One of his hands was outstretched. “It’s okay, love.” You grabbed on and let him pull you onstage. The crowd had been loud before, but this time they could probably burst an eardrum. The lights were so bright they drowned out almost everyone’s faces and they gave off such intense heat. For a minute, you felt like you might faint, and wobbled a little bit. Luckily, Harry was by your side to keep you upright.

“Alright?” He whispered into your ear with concern in his voice. You nodded.

“Yeah, it’s just, the lights are so… bright,” you answered, making him laugh.

“Now let me formally introduce you to Y/N, my girlfriend,” Harry said into the microphone once he was sure you weren’t going to fall over. He held it out to you expectantly.

“Um, hi,” you said, unsure of what to do. “I don’t have anything prepared because someone decided to spring this on me without warning me first.” The whole crowd burst into laughter.

“To be honest, I wasn’t planning on it until I saw you in the crowd. You looked so good, I wanted to make sure everyone knew you were mine.” You rolled your eyes at him, causing more laughter. “I’m sure the band is tired of my bullshit, so let’s get into it, shall we?” You started to walk towards the stairs leading offstage but Harry grabbed your hand to keep you in place. He started singing Kiwi, and as he got into the chorus, he spun you around the stage wildly, nearly knocking over an amp in his excitement. You threw your head back and laughed, letting him lead you into a variety of crazy dance moves.

When the song ended, he signaled the band to play it again and continued pulling you across the stage alongside him.

“I’m not ready to leave you guys just yet. What do you say we have one more go?” He asked the crowd when he finished singing, who screamed in return. The band started the song again, and Harry swung you around in some form of ballroom dance which had you struggling to control your giggles. As the song ended, he leaned in to capture your lips with his for just a moment before dragging you back to the front of the stage to bow with him and the band.

You followed him offstage and the sudden shift from bright lights, loud noises, and constant movement was jarring. Your adrenaline levels were sky-high but the stimulus was just gone, leaving you feeling antsy but also exhausted from the dancing. As soon as you made it backstage, Harry pulled you in for a bone-crushing hug.

“Is this how you feel every time?” You asked him. He rested his forehead against yours, chuckling lightly.

“Yeah, usually,” he answered. Before you could say anything else, he pressed his lips to yours three times in quick succession. “Now c’mon, I gotta do my post!”

He pulled you by the hand to his dressing room and you followed, leaving a trail of laughter in your wake. Although you were sad that Live on Tour was over, you were excited to start this new chapter with Harry.

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Spotlight

Summary: Ashton gets back to his craft

Word Count: 2.3k

And away, and away we go!

To say that watching Ashton under a year and a half of quarantine and uncertainty was difficult would be an understatement. Watching him ride out his lowest lows as he chased for the slightest high broke your heart in ways you didn’t know were possible. Sure, there were the moments when you thought he was pulling himself out of his personal pit of hell- the immediate release of CALM a week into lockdown, the creation of Superbloom and its release, along with the mini virtual concert. But oftentimes your usually happy-go-lucky sweetheart of a boyfriend was incredibly short-tempered, the smallest of things igniting a wildfire of frustration that tested both your patience and relationship with him.

It was a tense year and a half, filled with screaming matches, tears falling like broken glass, and slamming doors. But it was also a year and a half of heartfelt confessions, new routines allowing for renewed intimacy, and selfish desires that the time would stay stopped.

Oh, but the way he lit up like the sky on the 4th of July when he learned the news that he could go back into the studio with his boys? Worth every damn thing watching his grin as he circled the date on the calendar in a wide streak of black Sharpie.

And when those studio days turned into rehearsal days? You thought he’d fall apart as he tried to spit out the words.

“BABE!” Ashton’s voice boomed the second the front door opened, loud with excitement.

“What?” you asked, coming to greet him.

Your own cheeks hurt looking at the grin plastered across his face. “Rehearsals!” he whooped.

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah!”

“For tour?!”

“Yes and no. We have a show!”

“ASHTON!”

“I KNOW!” His arms were around you in a flash, picking you up and spinning you around as both of your laughs bounced off the walls.

“Dizzy, dizzy!” you called out to him still laughing.

He set you down on your feet, and then his lips were on yours in a bruising kiss. “FUCK!” he couldn’t stop laughing or smiling. “Baby, I’m so excited. I have a show. With the boys. It’s real. We’re back. If we get to do this show… God, baby, it changes everything. I- It means we really get to go back. We won’t have to keep postponing our tour. We can put out the new album. And…” the words fell in a flurry as the reality of what he’d been missing for so long being within arm’s reach again set in. A rogue tear rolled down his cheek. “Fuck, I’ve missed this feeling.”

“I’ve missed seeing you this happy,” you smiled at him, catching the tear with your thumb before brushing his wild hair from his face.

“You’re coming right?” he asked, his smile faltering as his voice took on a note of fear.

“To the show? Of course, babe. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

His lips curved upwards again, but it didn’t quite match the smile he’d been wearing when he first came bounding through the door. “And tour? If we get that far? If we get that lucky?”

“Stop,” you said, holding his face in your hands. “Stop the spiral. Let yourself be excited.”

“But-” The doubts were beginning to rear their ugly head. He had already allowed himself to believe the covid shit was behind him once before.

“I don’t want the rug pulled out from under you either,” you told him softly. “But allow yourself this moment, Ash. And we’ll deal with the rest later.”

His eyes fluttered shut for a second as he leaned into your touch. When he opened them again, the kaleidoscope of colors that were his hazel eyes were soft. “I-” he started, words of how sorry he was for all the times he snapped harshly at you, how grateful he was for you toughing it out with him, and how he selfishly wasn’t ready to start missing you again a trapped jumble on his tongue. “I-” he tried again.

“I know,” you interrupted, stretching upwards to nudge your nose against his. “I know.”

~~~

While he hadn’t been able to get the words out, he found a different way of expressing himself in a way that left you both breathless and at a loss for words.

And when you woke the next morning, rolling over to find his side of the bed empty, despite your excitement for Ashton, your heart ached for the reality of what was to come of him stepping back into the spotlight.

But the bed was still warm, suggesting it hadn’t been long since he had left, and when you stumbled downstairs, you easily found him standing in the kitchen, his back to you as he poured coffee into two mugs. “Morning,” you greeted, wrapping your arms around his bare waist and pressing a kiss between his shoulders.

“Oh, hey,” he said, turning in your arms to kiss the top of your head. “You coulda stayed in bed. I was bringing up the coffee.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he giggled. “What? Did you think I’d left already?”

Your shoulders shrugged as you let go of your hold on him. “Yeah.”

“Without saying goodbye, first? C’mon, you gotta know me better than that.”

You shrugged again, reaching around him for one of the coffee mugs. “Well, thanks,” you murmured, taking a sip.

He frowned as he grabbed the other mug. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N… C’mon, we’ve been stuck together in this house forever now. You think I don’t know when you’re hiding from me?”

“I- It’s nothing. When do you gotta meet with the guys?”

“Not for a while. Stop deflecting.”

You sighed. “The bed was empty, okay? Let’s face it. For the shitshow that’s covid, it gave us a lot of time. A lot of time we don’t normally get to share because of our jobs. And that’s all I want to say about it because I’m happy, Ash. I’m happy you have studio days and rehearsal days again. I’m happy you have shows again.”

“But you can be happy for me, and pissed about an empty bed. You can be both at the same time.”

“Yeah, but it makes me feel fuckin’ lousy, Ash. Like this is the reality of your job. We’re not strangers to it. I’m just being selfish.”

He chuckled, taking your coffee mug from you and setting it along with his on the counter. “I’m not ready to miss you either.” Then his arms were pulling you in close to him, his hold both strong and gentle. “Wanna be selfish with me before I have to leave?” he asked, his breath hot on your neck, the kiss hungry as it traveled up the column of your throat to your lips. “Be selfish with me until we can’t.”

And how could you deny Ashton’s request when he held you, looked at you, and loved you the way he did?

~~~

A couple hours after Ashton left for rehearsals, you left yourself to go surprise him. The house was too quiet without him, and rehearsals were different from regular studio time. More special in a way you couldn’t put words to.

For some reason you were nervous as you pushed your way into the studio, his head snapping up at the sound of the door. “Baby!” he grinned up at you from where he was sitting on the floor next to Calum. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d surprise you guys. Bring you all some lunch,” you said, holding up a food bag as proof.

“You’re the greatest,” he beamed, pushing himself up onto his feet and crossing the room to you.

“So you rehearse on the floor?” you questioned with a teasing smile.

“Well, we were taking a small break,” he told you with a sheepish smile.

“We were actually ordering food, but this is way better,” Michael chimed in, taking the bag of food from you, and giving you a quick hug hello. “Ash is right. You’re the greatest.”

“Yeah, best surprise ever, especially for Mike,” Luke laughed and Calum nodded in agreement.

Happy chatter ensued as food was passed around, Ashton sitting as close to you as he could, his nerves making the tips of his fingers shake. “You okay?” you whispered, gripping one of his hands tightly in yours.

He nodded. “Yeah. Just nerves about getting back into things.” He gave you a quick kiss before getting up to go sit at his drum kit. And how he could manage to look both so at home and so vulnerable at the same time was beyond you.

You looked over at the other guys, wondering if they were seeing what you were seeing, and Calum nodded knowingly at you while Luke and Michael offered up sad smiles of confirmation. Sighing, you got up and made your way over to Ashton, wedging yourself between him and his drum kit. “Talk to me,” you urged softly.

“It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” you agreed. “But you didn’t stop being a musician. You still played. You still made music this whole time.”

“What if we mess up? What if I mess up?”

“What if you don’t?”

He scoffed lightly. “I’m being serious, Y/N.”

“I am, too. Look, Ash. These are your boys. Playing music with them is what you were born to do. And I’m pretty sure they’re having the same worry as you about messing up. And it’s okay if you guys mess up. That’s why you’re having rehearsals.”

He let out a slow breath. “Yeah… Suppose you’re right.” He pushed his hands through his hair, taking another slow breath. “Okay. Okay, I can do this. Muscle memory.”

“Muscle memory,” you smiled reassuringly at him, draping your arms across his shoulders and leaning your forehead against his. “You got this, baby.”

“Will you stay? Having an audience… having you… It might help.”

“Of course, babe.”

~~~

The night of the show, you stood off to the side and out of the way as Ashton and the guys talked with the press about being back after almost two years of not playing a show together. You watched with a smile at the way Calum and Luke started humming their responses, and Michael took over the conversation when Ashton started fidgeting with his hands, giving Ashton that brief pause to collect his thoughts and settle his nerves.

“Muscle memory,” you reminded him softly when they all came back to prepare to go on stage.

“Muscle memory,” he nodded, shrugging out of his jacket. But his hands still shook as he draped it over a chair. So you grabbed them, holding them still in your own hands. “Fuck, I hate this,” he whispered in defeat.

“You’re allowed to be nervous, Ash.”

“I know. I just hate it. Of all the feelings I’ve missed, this isn’t one of them.”

“So focus on that. Focus on how great it feels knowing that there’s a crowd of people out there waiting for you guys. And fuck the rest.”

“It really helps that you’re here, you know that?”

“I wouldn’t miss this moment for anything.”

“I-” he started, but a stagehand came rushing through, ushering them towards the stage.

You kissed him swiftly. “I love you, too. Now go be amazing.”

Again, with a smile plastered on your face, you watched them from the wings. It was effortless how easily they fell back into performing live with each other, as if covid had never stopped them. The perfect team of brothers.

Ashton’s eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree when he came backstage, a sweaty smile on his own face as he hugged you tight. “That was amazing!” you beamed.

“That!” He pointed a finger towards that stage. “That I’ve missed!”

“This!” You grabbed his face in your hands. “This is the Ash I’ve missed.”

“I was trying to tell you something before I went on. Something I’ve been trying to tell you for a while now actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I, um… Fuck, I dunno why this is so hard for me. But I wanted to say thanks. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to love lately. I know I’ve been more moody than usual under covid, and I know I’ve taken a lot of my frustration out on you.”

“Ash-”

He held up a finger, cutting you off. “Lemme finish. I- I know I hit some of the lowest lows I’ve hit in a long time because of covid. And I know this shit’s far from over, and there’s probably going to be more rough moments as we get back into the swing of things after so long. But thank you, okay? I dunno what I would’ve done without you.”

“Ash-”

“Hold on. There’s one last thing. When we go on tour, I want you to come with us. If you can, of course. I just… I’d rather not miss you if I don’t have to. I- I need you. In a way I never thought I’d need someone. And for reasons I don’t think I’ll ever understand. But I need you.”

“Can I talk now?”

“Yeah.”

“For as much as covid has sucked, it gave us a lot of time to be together. A lot of time we didn’t have before.”

“You told me that already.”

“Shush. It’s my turn. We’ve seen the best and the worst of each other. And for all the times we could have given up, we didn’t. Every unlovable moment, we just loved each other harder. And for a while I wondered why that was. And it’s like you said. For whatever reason, I need you the same way you need me. And getting to see you get back to being this happy again… I wanna keep seeing it. And I wanna keep seeing it in ways that don’t keep us apart. So… I was talking with my boss, and with the band, and your team. And this was supposed to be a surprise but…”

“You’re coming on tour?” he interrupted, voice full of hope.

“I’m coming on tour,” you grinned.

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onceupon · 3 years

Text

London Boy - Part 4: Just friends

summary: You wake up to find Rafe Cameron in your bed. Even though nothing happened, you’re still left trying to make sense of it all.

pairing: Rafe x reader (slowburn)

warnings: swearing, drinking

word count: 5k

a/n: thank you so much to all of you who have been reading along <333 sorry in advance if you want this to progress faster haha, it simply must be this slow, sorry I don't make the rules (even tho I do lol). Not canon Rafe!!

masterlist

Your eyes slowly flutter open as the early morning rays wake you up. You didn’t even remember falling asleep. As you slowly gain consciousness you’re startled by the weight of Rafe’s arm draped across your body. What the hell? When did that happen? He spent the night in your bed?

Your mind races at a million miles an hour as you slowly slip out from under his hold. You were careful not to wake him up, not wanting to face any awkwardness. You throw on fresh clothes and grab your backpack, desperate to make your escape. You had wanted to get to school early today to work on some homework anyways, never before so eager to trade in the comfort of your bed for the library.

After a quick pit stop to pick up a coffee and a croissant, you swing the heavy wooden doors open. You liked campus at this hour, the morning light still soft, the air crisp, and the atmosphere silent. As you scan your eyes for a spot to sit, you notice the unmistakable sight of fluffy brown hair hunched over a table.

“Liam?” your whisper. “What the hell are doing here?”

That classic cheeky grin spreads across his face as he looks up to find you standing in front of him. “I go here, Y/n. Forget already?”

You roll your eyes, “I just didn’t know you were the studious type.”

“Not gonna lie to you babe, I’m not. But Rogers is already all the way up my ass over this class, and I’m not letting that prick hold me back a year.”

You pull out the chair across from him and go to sit down, spreading your books out on the table.

“Who said you could sit with?” he asks, and you shoot him a look. You’re not in the mood. “Geez alright, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed… you good Y/n?” he slows, taking in your disheveled appearance. You hadn’t so much as brushed your hair.

“Can you promise not to tell anyone,” you stare dead into his eyes.

“On my life,” he extends his pinky, and you accept.

“Rafe… slept over last night…”

“Oh shit!” he exclaims, and your eyes widen at his echoing voice.

“Not like that,” you hiss, not wanting to draw anymore attention to the two of you. “Nothing happened… like he just came over to watch a show and then we talked for a while and just accidentally… fell asleep. I panicked when I woke up and realized he was still in my bed so I ran out of there as fast as I could and now…. well now I’m here.” You nervously chug your coffee, heart racing.

“So he hung out with you all night and didn’t make a move?”

You nod, nervously awaiting his analysis as you take a bite of your croissant.

“Damn, boy must really like you,” he muses.

“What? Definitely not,” you scoff.

“Y/n, let me tell you a little something about guys. If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what. The fact that he’s coming over your room to watch a show and hanging out with you until he physically can’t stay awake - I mean I can’t make it any more obvious to you.”

“I don’t know I just don’t think so… You don’t know Rafe like that, he’s a total player back home. He can pull any girl he wants, so if he liked me like that he would’ve done something by now. This is probably how he is with all his friends and I’m just reading too much into it. I’m sure Lily Colts will be in his bed soon enough,” you mumble. That last part stings in particular, you had already thought it, but saying it out loud made you feel… icky.

“I may not know Rafe like that, but I know guys like him. I am guys like him. He likes you Y/n. So what if he pulls a lot of chicks, he doesn’t actually care about them. But he cares about you, probably can’t even understand why, and now it’s like bam Uno reverse. He can’t pull the cards he normally does, and now you’ve got him confused and he doesn’t know what to do. Man’s down bad. Give him time though, he’ll come around,” he explains to you calmly, stealing your coffee cup from you and taking a sip.

“Honestly can I just start paying you to figure my life out for me. You make everything seem so simple.”

“Because it is simple. You insist on complicating it. But I know how you could pay me,” he adds with a wink and you shoot him a glare. You know he’s just joking (partially), he loves pushing your buttons.

“Well whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it,” you resign on the Rafe matter. You wanted to believe what Liam was saying but it didn’t quite make sense to you. You were only going to drive yourself crazy trying to read between lines that you weren’t sure existed. Rafe was just used to situations like this with girls. To him last night was probably no big deal. It was to you though. You would never let ‘just a friend’ stay over like that, with his arm around you no less. But Rafe didn’t need to know that, you decide.

—-

You manage to avoid Rafe all day, not having any classes with him on Friday’s. As soon as your last class is over, you sprint home, relieved when you’re the first back at the flat and can quickly slip into your room undetected. You set down your bag and sit on the edge of your bed. Your hand slowly runs over your comforter, still ruffled from where Rafe had been laying the night before. The indent of his head is still on your pillow; you can almost smell the scent of him lingering in your room and hear the sound of his soft whispers. You wonder what his first thoughts were when he woke up in your bed alone - was he confused? Embarrassed? He probably thought nothing of it at all. You can just picture him casually getting up with a stretch, like it’s the start of any typical day.

You slip into the shower and let the water wash over your body. It’s warm and soothing, and it’s reminding you of Rafe laying next to you, of his arm wrapped around you. God if there was only a way to shut your brain off once in a while. As much as you tried to suppress it, there had been a tiny part of you that was happy to have woken up in his embrace, giddy like a school girl with a crush. You’d always wondered how a moment like that would feel, or how a moment like that with him would feel. You had conveniently failed to mention the “arm” detail to Liam, maybe because in the back of your mind you knew it would only help prove his theory right.

When you make your way back to your room, your phone buzzes and the Royal Fam 🇬🇧🇺🇸 group chat appears.

Olivia: who wants to go out tonight 😈

Topper: me and Rafe have to be up early tmrw for soccer - rain check on this one ladies

Olivia: :(

Olivia: girls night out??

Millie: you know I’m there!

You’re a little bummed that Rafe won’t be there tonight. But a girls night sounds like just what you need to get him off your mind.

Y/n: I’m in :)

Not even a few minutes later Olivia and Millie are barging into your room, causing you to let out a startled yelp.

“My god, heard of knocking,” you exhale with your hand coming to your chest. Your statement falls on death ears.

“Which jeans with this top,” Olivia asks, holding the clothing items against her body.

“Should I curl or straighten my hair with this,” Millie follows, holding her outfit up.

“Uhh,” your mind scrambles, “those jeans Liv. And straight, Mills,” you reply, shocked by your own decidedness. “But now you guys have to help me, I have no clue what to wear.”

“Say less,” Olivia flashes a smile.

Within minutes they tear through your closet, picking out your outfit. Things were always much more clear with a fresh set of eyes. The three of you discuss the night’s logistics before making your way to the kitchen - couldn’t go drinking on an empty stomach. Rafe and Topper are already there, and you try your best to act natural even though your stomach ties itself in a knot the moment you catch a glimpse of his face. You haven’t seen him since you ran out this morning.

“Uh hey I’m gonna run to Sainsbury’s real quick, I wanna get a chaser, anyone need anything,” you ask, avoiding eye contact with Rafe. Your nerves get the best of you and in terms of fight or flight, you were ready to flee.

“Hey wait I’ll come with you. Gotta pick something up for dinner,” Rafe stands grabbing his jacket, and before you can interject, he’s leading the way down the hall and out your shared flat.

“So what are you chasing tonight?”

“What?” you ask startled, his question pulling you back to reality. Your mind had been running in a loop, trying to read him and the thoughts in his head. You wished now more than ever that you knew what Rafe was like behind closed doors back home, so you could somehow make sense of it all.

He chuckles at you, lost in your own world. “You said you needed a chaser?” Those intimidating blue eyes have found their way to yours again and you hastily look away, focusing in front of you instead.

“Oh yeah- uh just for the vodka,” you laugh nervously.

“Basic,” he mocks. You scoff in surprise and lightly hit him on the chest as the laughter leaves your lips. He’s sporting a shit-eating grin, having successfully egged you on.

“You’re funny if you think I’m gonna do shots of whiskey before going to a club.”

“Well you do owe me one…” he says.

“Oh so he remembers?” you reply, amused.

“Of course,” he states so calm and so sure. Your head swirls at that, his cool confidence making you melt. The automatic doors slide open in front of you, fluorescent lights stealing your attention from the boy you were finding dangerously more attractive by the second.

“I thought we’re supposed to take it together? But someone’s being lame and not coming out tonight,” you say sarcastically, playing it as cool as you can manage. Rafe’s confidence seemed to come naturally, but you were more of a fake-it-till-you-make-it kind of gal.

“Hey you know I have soccer,” he defends. The Kook Prince was not one to turn down a party without cause.

“Excuses excuses,” you shake your head.

“Actually, speaking of soccer, you uh- you and the girls should come tomorrow. If you’re not doing anything. Or not too hungover I should say. Game’s at 12.”

“Can’t make any promises Cameron, but we’ll see,” you smile, earning a satisfied smile from him in return.

You make your way to the frozen food aisle, Rafe explaining to you how they call a soccer field a football pitch here, as you laugh at him grabbing 5 frozen pizzas (dinner solved for the next week, of course). You ask him which chaser you should pick. He points out a cola, so naturally you decide to get blackberry seltzer water, Rafe twisting his face in disgust (who would voluntarily drink that tv static). You always felt so nervous at first, to be in Rafe’s presence, but all it ever took was a few minutes for you to completely relax around him. He was intimidating, yet inviting. Mysterious, yet open. He was somehow the cause of your anxious nerves and yet the source of your comfort. The fear of facing Rafe after running out this morning had paralyzed your thoughts all day, and now you could hardly remember why. He hadn’t mentioned it at all, as if nothing happened. His normalcy confirmed for you that him sleeping over was in fact no big deal, and you almost want to laugh at yourself for how much you had worked it up in your head. You two were just friends, and perhaps Rafe was used to being… a friendlier friend than what you were used to. But that was okay, you could learn to be friendlier too.

—-

Rafe and Topper had decided to accompany you guys in the kitchen as you pregamed. They slowly sipped beers as you, Millie, and Olivia pounded back shots, laughing at the way you guys got progressively drunker and progressively louder before finally heading out. And much to your surprise, the boys were still seated in the same spot hours later, when the three of you stumble back into the flat, McDonalds in hand.

“Oh look who’s still up,” Olivia slurs, taking a bite of her cheeseburger.

“We can’t go out, we have soccer,” Millie mocks, almost falling to the floor as she trips over her heel, Topper and Rafe not making any effort to hide their clear amusement.

“Fun night huh?” Topper quirks his brow.

“The funnest,” Millie holds her head high, sinking down against the wall until she’s sat on the floor. You had made a beeline for the dining room table, silently admiring your chicken nuggets. In that moment, they were the best thing you had ever tasted.

“I want Jake,” Olivia pouts, and before anyone can say a word she’s turned on her heel, burger in hand, off to crawl into her boyfriend’s bed.

“Alright you drunk, let’s get you to bed,” Topper laughs, scooping an incoherent Millie up to her feet by her elbows.

“M’not drunk,” Millie protests, even though she’s leaning her full body weight against Topper who sarcastically nods at her, escorting her down the hallway. Rafe sits on the couch, silently playing with the cards in his hand again, not the least bit uncomfortable with sharing your company in silence.

“I’m mad at you,” you say matter of factly, taking a bite of a french fry. At this point, the alcohol is doing the talking.

“Mad at me?” Rafe stops shuffling the cards and raises his head to look at you, intrigued.

“Yeah because you didn’t come to the club,” you furrow your brows, chucking a fry at him. He catches it instantly, laughing to himself with a shake of his head.

“Don’t worry I saw all your guys’ snaps, I feel like I was practically there.”

“That’s not the same,” you frown, throwing another fry which he catches yet again.

“I’ll try to be there next time,” he laughs.

“That’s better I guess,” you grumble, eating another chicken nugget. The room grows quiet, Rafe training his attention back to the cards.

“When are we watching the next episode Cameron,” you break the silence, chucking another fry. He barely has to look up to catch your latest throw, shaking his head with a chuckle. He puts the cards down and makes his way over to the dining table, standing right above you now.

“Come on, time for you to go to bed,” he beckons you toward him with his arm, to which you only furrow your brows in indignation.

“I’m not done with my food,” you protest.

“Now you are,” he says, grabbing your last fry and finishing it with one bite. “Now c’mon.” You reluctantly grab onto his extended arm to help you get up. You walk down the hall together and he opens your door for you, letting you in as he leans against the frame. You immediately fall back and collapse on to your bed with a gasp, you didn’t remember it feeling so soft when you were sober.

“Goodnight L/n,” Rafe laughs, staring down at you.

“Goodnight Rafe,” you mumble, seconds away from passing out. He smiles to himself at the sight of you still in the outfit and shoes you had been out in, bent in surely the most uncomfortable position possible, legs half way off the bed, yet somehow already asleep. He’s about to head back to his room, but he hesitates, turning back to you with a sigh. As slowly and quietly as he can, he pulls your shoes off for you, lifts your legs onto the bed, and covers you in your blanket. And just as quick, he slips out of your room and back into his.

—-

You wake up the next morning, letting out a groan when you realize you’re still in the outfit you had worn clubbing. Your head dully aches and your throat is desert dry so you force yourself up and to the kitchen. When you see the aftermath of McDonald’s containers on the table, vague memories start flooding your brain in horror. You couldn’t have… could you? Did you actually throw french fries at him? You close your eyes and slowly run your hand over your face in realization. Great, you think to yourself, Rafe probably thinks you’re an annoying idiot. Good grief.

You hear the door of the flat opening and Olivia appears in the kitchen, holding a plate of breakfast sandwiches, your mouth watering at the sight.

“Thank the lovely lads in apartment 4E,” she laughs, placing them on the table. “Oh god, we went hard last night didn’t we,” she says, taking in the sight of the flat.

“A little too hard…” you remark.

“No such thing, darling! Now eat up and get dressed, we’ve got a match to catch,” she declares before disappearing down the hall where you can hear muffled groans of Millie being reluctantly dragged out of her bed. You sigh and sink down into a chair, grabbing a sandwich and taking a bite. Heaven. You make a mental note to thank Jake for his chef skills. You had completely forgotten that you and the girls were supposed to go watch Rafe and Topper’s match today. Your worries about having to face Rafe yesterday had been quick to melt away, but today they were back with a new vengeance.

—-

“Okay no one wander off when we get there. Y/n, fair warning, these games get… rowdy,” Millie says, as the three of you walk toward the field, arms linked.

“Things get pretty crazy at Kildare too,” you laugh, “so yeah, don’t fucking let me out of your sight.”

The three of you shake off your fits of laughter as you stumble toward the stands, finding a spot amongst the already packed crowd. You’re finally able to take in your surroundings, glancing at the field ahead. The opposing team is warming up on the pitch, clad in red. Westheath’s team is off to the side, the boys stretching and getting ready in their white uniforms. The dirty blonde immediately catches your eye. He’s jumping and jogging in place, headphones in as though he’s tuning out the physical noise around him, and probably the mental noise too. You wonder if he’s listening to one of the songs he showed you the other night.

He pauses his jogging to stretch out his arms, his eyes glazing over the stands, when suddenly they lock with yours. Your cheeks flush pink, embarrassed at having been caught staring, but his face just pulls into a wide grin and he gives you a wave. You wave back, and he does a quick hand motion that everyone does at Kildare games back home. You laugh and do the responding gesture, as he smiles cheekily at you before a teammate comes up to him, pulling his focus away. The exchange was brief, but oddly intimate. There was a whole field and a couple dozen people between you, and yet you two were the only witnesses to the interaction. You smile to yourself, relief in the fact that maybe getting a french fry chucked at him wasn’t enough to make him hate you after all. You wonder briefly if Rafe spends half as much time overanalyzing things the way you do. Liam was right, you do insist on overcomplicating things.

“Hey, earth to Y/n!” Olivia laughs, waving her hand in front of your face. “The game is starting!”

—

The final score flashes on the screen: 4-2, a win for Westheath. The students are going nuts, rushing the field. Olivia and Millie lead the way, pushing through the crowd until you guys reach Rafe and Topper.

“Let’s go boys!!” Olivia yells, jumping up and down with the sea of bodies and beer around you. Rafe and Topper react with equal enthusiasm, pulling each of you in for a hug. You and Rafe are the last to hug, him pulling you in brief but close against his large sweaty body, arms wrapped around you. You don’t even mind the stickiness of the hug, feeling deja vu at the warm feeling of being in his embrace again; a feeling that is foreign yet familiar, one you hadn’t felt before.

“Did you guys see Rafe’s goal in the second half!?” Topper asks, clapping his friend on the back.

“Of course we did, super star!” Millie cheers, giving Rafe a high five as he humbly shakes his head and laughs at his friends. The mental image of his goal was burned in your head, one that your mind would certainly play for you involuntarily over the next coming days.

“Alright we gotta go do some stuff with the team, but everyone’s going to Central Bar later. See you guys there?” Rafe asks.

“You got it,” Olivia replies, and they jog off with quick waves, you meeting those blue eyes in silent acknowledgement once again. It was that gaze that always made the rest of the world seem to disappear while his eyes met yours, making your heart skip a beat. He’s just a friend, you remind yourself. Just a tall, attractive, soccer-playing friend…

—

“Y/n! Liv! We’re doing a round!” Jake calls you and Olivia over to where him and Liam are already at the bar, four shot glasses ordered and lined up.

“On three! One, two-“ Liam chants, as the four of you down the alcohol. Central Bar had been buzzing with what felt like half of Westheath’s student body all day. After the game, you and the girls had gone back to your flat to nap and eat, before meeting up with Jake, Liam, and the rest of their boys to head to the bar. Rafe and Topper were already pretty buzzed when you guys got there, playing a round of table tennis with you before the rest of the soccer team and their other friends pulled their attention away. You couldn’t help the way your whole body tensed when Rafe greeted Lily with a tight hug, humbling you with the confirmation that Rafe’s actions toward you weren’t anything special. You resolved yourself to a night of drinking and dancing your worries away with Liv and Liam instead.

“Alright, round of table tennis? You two against me and Y/n?” Liam challenges.

“Please, I saw Y/n playing before, you guys have nothing on us,” Olivia flashes an evil smile, her competitive side coming out.

“Oh it’s on Liv,” you laugh, as your foursome stakes your claim at the pong table. While Olivia and Jake gather the balls and paddles, you notice Liam grimacing off into the distance. You follow his line of sight, landing on Topper and Millie drunkenly dancing together across the bar, a bit too close for comfort.

“What is she doing with that geezer,” he mumbles.

“Liam! Jealousy is unbecoming of you,” you gasp in mock disbelief.

“I’m not jealous,” he scoffs, and you quickly realize that he actually is, even though you had just been joking. Your jaw falls slack as you put two and two together. Liam and Millie were always by each other’s side, at school, at the pub, when you were all watching a movie at his apartment a few nights ago. He would tease her relentlessly and his own words rang in your ears If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what.

“Shut up! Shut up!,” you whisper yell, hand coming to your mouth. “I should have realized this whole time… of course you like Millie! Everything you’ve been telling me you think exists between me and Rafe has actually been about her! She’s your Uno reverse card!” You’re shocking even yourself at these revelations.

“No no no, you can’t use my own words of wisdom against me, that’s not how this works Y/n. So what, maybe I slightly give a shit about Millie? Who cares. Her and I both know that’s never gonna happen. I still stand by everything I said about you and Rafe so don’t think your getting off so easy on that.”

“Then tell me why you’re staring at Millie while Rafe hasn’t so much as glanced my way since the minute Lily Colts got here, hmm?”

“Oh Y/n, Y/n Y/n Y/n,” Liam tuts, shaking his head laughing as he turns to the game your group of four is about to begin. You don’t have the energy to argue with Liam over the matter right now, oblivious to the fact that Rafe had indeed been glancing your way, several times. In fact, he was glancing at you right now, as Liam reached his arm over yours to help you actually hold the paddle the right way. You just hadn’t been glancing back to notice, scared of what you may or may not see between him and Lily if you did.

��

The night dies down and it’s time for the pilgrimage back to your building. You’re walking with Millie when Liam quickly falls in step with you two. You give him a knowing smirk, to which he responds with a glare behind Millie’s back, but you let the two banter as you fall behind, now walking alone. You stare ahead, eyes mindlessly settling on Lily walking in between Callum and Henry at the front of the pack. You don’t notice the pair of legs that begin moving in pace next to your own.

“Tonight, by the way,” Rafe’s voice startles you as you jump next to him. He chuckles at the confusion written all over your face. “You asked last night when we’re watching the next episode. And my answer is tonight, L/n,” he states.

“Haven’t you been up since like the crack of dawn? Aren’t you tired?” you ask incredulously.

“Too tired for Game of Thrones? Never,” he scoffs, Liam’s words ringing in your ear. If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what.

“Well then tonight it is,” you smile. “Sorry about the french fries last night by the way,” you say meekly, looking down at the sidewalk in front of you, cheeks burning.

“Seriously L/n, talk about a horrible throw. Room for improvement,” he jokes with a comforting smile, saving you from yourself.

“Good game by the way,” you add, grateful for the way he was letting you off.

“Thanks,” he looks at you, shoving his hands in his pocket. You turn to look at him too, and after a few moments laughter is taking you both apart. Nothing funny was said. Neither of you knew why you were laughing. And yet it felt natural, not an ounce of awkwardness in the air.

As your whole group walks into the building, people begin to peel off, splitting towards staircases and off elevator stops.

“I’m fucking beat,” yawns Topper, as you and all your flatmates file into your hall.

“I’m gonna sleep like a baby tonight,” Millie yawns in agreement. One by one everyone files off into their rooms. You open your door, backing into yours, Rafe across the hall from you backing into his. Laughter tugs at both your faces once again, as you let your doors close. You manage to change into your sweats and brush your teeth before you hear the light rap on your door. Rafe enters, in a t-shirt and gray sweatpants, your weakness. But you feel comfortable being alone with him now. The Rafe jitters had finally began to subside.

“Alright L/n, episode 4, you ready for this?” he asks, plopping down in his spot next to you.

“Oh I’m very ready,” you reply, sitting up to reach for your laptop which was resting by your feet. As you lean back, you find yourself in Rafe’s arm. He had extended it out before you sat back, effortlessly catching you against him. His hand rests casually on your arm, and you gulp, pressing play. You pray he can’t feel the way your heartbeat quickens and your body flushes. So much for those jitters being gone.

The episode plays, you and Rafe making comments here and there before your chatter eventually dies down, leaving just the sound of the show to fill the room. You can feel Rafe’s body lean further and further down, becoming heavier and breathing slower. You very slowly turn to check, and sure enough he’s fast asleep. You sigh, and shut your laptop, careful not to stir him. You could easily shake him awake, tell him to go to his bed, but for some reason you don’t. You don’t mind him here. In fact, you almost prefer it, his body heat keeping you warm. He had already slept over once before and it clearly hadn’t been a big deal, so what was the harm in letting it happen again? You’re just friends after all, you remind yourself, not sure who you’re trying to convince. And so, the two friends fall asleep in the same bed again.

---

🏷: @hopebaker @pogueslandia @mardema

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine

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kaihavoc · 3 years

Text

Cloud 29

a/n: inspired by my new two favorite videos: this and this one

Lingering just outside the Chelsea locker room, I wait until I see the last person leave. Well, second to last. Christian passes me by with a toothy grin, telling me to “take good care” of my boyfriend tonight because he earned it. Laughing nervously, I just give him a polite wave, acting like he didn’t just give me that advice, and sneak inside the locker room. There’s only one person who hasn’t burst through the doors and come out to join the festivities. The superstar––the hero––of today’s match. Kai Havertz.

I know Kai; he’s got to be swirling with composed excitement, taking his time to revel in this momentous occasion without the chaos of overexcited screams and cheers. I can just imagine his humble smile, those crinkles rippling across his cheeks, that endearing overbite he’s always been so insecure about. The mere thought of him puts a smile on my face.

I only need to take a few steps when I see him. Considering he’s the only person left in the locker room, he wasn’t that hard to find. I pause in my tracks, absorbing the sight of him: sweaty, shirtless, head down with his back against the metal locker. I make no noise, but he must sense a presence because his head snaps up. Our eyes meet, and his face lights up as he bounds over to me, tackling me in a hug. He towers over me, but that doesn’t stop him from practically leaping into my arms. Yeah, as if I have the upper body strength to carry him. Sometimes I think he forgets I’m not as physically fit as his teammates.

I open my mouth, about to congratulate him, but the dullness in his blue eyes stops me. Something’s off. He’s happy to see me, that’s clear, but, otherwise, he’s not as ecstatic as I thought he would be. Why isn’t he? Not only did his team win the Champions League, but he scored the winning goal. His first goal of the Champions League, no less––he went out with a bang. He should be over the moon.

“You look festive,” Kai comments, playfully tugging on one of my pigtails. I wanted to try something new, so I had tied my long hair into pigtails with two royal blue ribbons. Aside from that, I’m just in my typical outfit I wear whenever he plays a game: one of his old jerseys that he gave me when we first started dating and black leggings. I had considered spicing things up by painting Kai’s initials on my cheeks with blue face paint, but when I brought the idea up to him over dinner last week, he just said he knew a better method to brand me as his. I left it at that without inquiring further, even though I was curious by what, exactly, he had in mind.

“You look… hot,” I gulp, my eyes traveling down his long, toned torso. No matter how many times I’ve seen him shirtless after a practice or a game, or in only a towel after a shower, I’ll never get tired of seeing him half-naked. Or fully naked, at that.

“You look hot, too,” he murmurs into my hair, still embracing me tightly. “I just didn’t want to say that because I was trying to be gentlemanly.” Cupping my face with his large hands, he proceeds to kiss me, feverish and rough. He nips at my bottom lip and doesn’t even wait for me to open my mouth before invading it, battling my tongue with his. His ferocity gets my blood pumping and the pit of my stomach tingling, but it’s all wrong. I’m necessarily complaining, but this isn’t how he usually greets me. He typically welcomes me with a soft, delicate kiss before anything else. Is this because I haven’t congratulated him on his win yet?

“I’m so proud of you, Kai. You and the guys really deserve this,” I say sincerely, but he pretends like he doesn’t hear me, going in for another attack on my mouth. To that, I shrink a little and he catches on, sighing as he takes a step back, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. I notice that the ribbons in my hair are loose, so I quickly readjust them as I try to read Kai’s expression. He still looks… dissatisfied. Maybe some ego boosting would do the trick?

“Everyone’s raving about how you’re a tactical genius. How your skill and precision are unparalleled. How you’re on top and you haven’t even reached your peak yet,” I ramble, trying to recall every headline I’ve ever read in the news this past week. Oh, and also, you’ve got the cutest bum out of any football player in the history of football.

“Not everyone,” he growls in a dark voice, messing up his curly brown locks by snatching them with his hand. His face twists with irritation. “Right after the game, a reporter came up to me and asked me if I thought I finally paid back my hefty price tag.”

“And how did you respond?” I ask, curious. Usually he doesn’t get so riled up over post-game interviews, but perhaps his transfer fee is a touchy subject for him and he just never told me. In an attempt to calm him down a bit, I take his hand into mine and lead him to a section of the bench lined along the lockers. We sit so that we’re facing each other, and I weave my legs around his torso, nearly straddling him. But not quite.

“I think I said… ‘I don’t give a fuck of that. We just won the fucking Champions League’,” he says slowly, his nose scrunched up in concentration as he recalls his response.

I stifle a laugh. His cussing is not a regular occurrence, it’s not entirely uncommon either, but whenever he does curse, it catches me off guard. Maybe it has something to do with that pretty face of his, as if foul language shouldn’t be coming from it. “You’re right; you did just win the Champions League, so you shouldn’t be hard on yourself,” I say, lightly poking him in the bicep. He doesn’t seem to appreciate my stab at lighthearted reassurance, so I go for a different approach. Tough love. “Okay, fine. Chelsea may have paid a lot of money for you, but that’s because you’re worth it, Kai. You don’t have to prove your abilities to anyone––even though you already proved them tonight plus your whole career thus far. People are always going to have something negative to say, but you put in the work and it shows in every game. Don’t let anyone get to you, especially not a reporter; they’re just trying to get some dirt.” I’m not used to giving pep talks, so I’m not sure if I did it right.

I must’ve done something right because his frown is replaced with a slight smile. “Thank you, baby,” he says, pecking me on the cheek. One Kai’s best qualities is that not much gets to him; and if it does, it doesn’t take him long to get over it. Annoying interview question long forgotten, he traces patterns on my thigh and tells me, “The boys are going to a nightclub tonight to celebrate our win. Come with me.” To aid in his plea, he grabs both of my hands, squeezing them, his pale blue eyes gleaming with hope.

“A nightclub?” I repeat, making a sour face. “You know better than anyone that I don’t belong at a nightclub.” I want to suggest just a cozy night in, watching his favorite film of the Harry Potter series, Goblet of Fire, and cuddling, but I don’t want to take this celebratory night with his friends away from him.

“You belong with me, and it just so happens that tonight I’m being dragged to a nightclub,” he says. I don’t say anything, and his face falls, presumably because he recognizes his bid to get me to go is a lost cause.

“You go,” I encourage, trying to sound upbeat as I pat his thigh. “Have your fun.”

“Really?” he asks. “Are you sure?” He gives me a dubious look, one eyebrow severely cocked.

I squint at him quizzically. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He looks me dead in the eyes. “Babe. Let’s not forget what happened the last time I went out for drinks with the team for Timo’s birthday. I came back home with a ripped shirt because a bunch of girls pounced on us, and you wouldn’t talk to me for a whole week. You didn’t believe me.”

“That’s because it’s an unbelievable story,” I mumble.

“You accused me of hooking up with another girl,” he reminds me, his mesmerizing eyes narrowing at me, causing my cheeks to heat up and my skin to crawl with guilt. Now that he’s mentioned it, I do remember that incident. Vividly. It happened around the beginning of our relationship, when I still didn’t know how serious Kai was about me, about us. Regardless, I should’ve known that Kai would never be unfaithful to me. That’s simply not who he is. He has never once given me an inkling of a doubt of his loyalty. I blame my foolish allegation on my insecurity over our blossoming relationship, but I’m long past that…

“You’re too friendly, Kai,” I sigh, ruffling his hair to make it seem more like a concern and less like an accusation. “It makes girls think they can have a chance with you.”

“Girls?” Kai scoffs, shaking his head in pure denial. How can someone so intelligent be such a dumb boy sometimes? “What girls? That happened one time, and it wasn’t only me who got jumped. The whole team did.” Like that makes the situation any better, Kai.

“I’m not dating the whole team! I’m dating you, and you’re only going to get bigger and I… I just want you all to myself,” I admit. My head falls, weighted by a vicious mix of embarrassment and shame.

“Well, I know something that’s big that you can have all to yourself,” he says coyly, with a self-righteous smirk.

“I’m serious, Kai,” I say, frowning at him in return. “You’re young, talented, attractive. Girls are going to be lining up for you, and soon I’ll just be chopped liver.”

“Chopped liver?” he hoots, obviously unfamiliar with the expression.

My frown deepens as I huff, “You’re going to forget all about me.”

“I think if anyone’s guilty of forgetting anything, it’s you. You’re already forgetting that I’m in love with you,” he coos, sliding closer to me, dusting my neck and collarbones with soft-lipped kisses.

“Get away from me. You’re all sweaty,” I complain––mostly so as to not give into his seduction techniques too easily––but it’s half-hearted.

“You’re about to be, too,” he growls, lifting me and dropping me on his lap. I can feel him harden underneath me, and I respond by rocking my body against his, inciting staggered, tense moans from the both of us at the same time. The sounds that come out of his mouth are music to my ears. With a hunger to hear more, I reach in between us, stroking his length through his thin shorts, loving how fully aroused he gets at my slight touch. His breathing quickens, but when I don’t hear anything from him, I look at him, witnessing his bottom lip in between his teeth, suppressing those sweet moans I so desperately want to hear him make.

Suddenly, he’s tugging at my leggings; he’s so aggressive that I’m afraid he’s going to rip them. After he shimmies them off, I kick them to the side, and Kai’s eyes ravage the bottom half of my body. I’m thankful I had the good foresight to wear lace panties instead of my go-to granny panties, but at this point they’re drenched. They have been ever since I walked in and saw Kai; just one look at him does unspeakable things to me. His ability to reduce me to a mere puddle with just his eyes is unnerving.

He removes my shirt and purses his lips when he sees that I’m not wearing a bra. My chest is ample-sized, but I can comfortably go without a bra––often doing just that––and it drives him mad. He says I shouldn’t go prancing around braless because I’ll be practically naked when ogling guys undress me with their eyes. I say that doesn’t make sense.

He yanks his shorts and boxers down in one swoop, and the heat between my legs intensifies. If his massive hands and long fingers were any indication of what he has to offer, the blanks fill themselves out––he’s glorious. I can’t help but gawk and admire him; Kai is perfect in every singular way. If I had no self-control, I’d lick every inch of his pale skin. I lower myself onto him and gasp with pleasure when just the tip enters me. Slowly, I bounce up and down on him, each time driving him deeper inside me until he fills me completely. My head rolls back as I continue the rhythmic movement, and I moan when he licks a stripe in the valley between my breasts. My fingers tangle themselves in his curly locks as he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking on it while tinkering with the other between his fingertips.

“Oh, Kai,” I whine, feeling the intolerable pressure building up in my stomach.

“That’s it, baby,” Kai purrs against my chest as I tighten around him. “Say my name. Just like that.”

“K-Kai––” I cry, quivering against his body; my vision is blurry and I’ve lost function in my legs. Kai’s taken over, his fingers digging into my hips, thrusting into me, hitting my most sensitive spot time after time. I’m on the verge of seeing stars when it all stops. Before my brain can process what’s happening, I’m balancing on all fours on the bench as Kai positions himself behind me, his erection rubbing against me. With one thrust, he buries himself inside me, reaching around to rub my clit in a slow circular motion. I was not prepared for that. The combination of sensations is enough to drive me over the edge, but what drives me even crazier is the heat as he presses his firm chest up against my back.

“Who do you belong to?” he demands in my ear, humming. I tune him out, focusing on getting my fix and nothing more. I can barely get his name out, what makes him think I can have a coherent conversation? “I don’t like being ignored,” he warns sharply.

My arms and legs are shaky, and the only thing keeping me from crumbling to the floor are his hands, holding me steady as he rolls his hips. “You,” I finally breathe.

“Dunno who that is,” he drawls, and I could swear he’s purposely applying more pressure to his accent just to mock me.

“You. Kai,” I hiss and close my eyes to try to block him out, but that only heightens my senses to everything he’s doing to me.

“Kai who? There are many Kais,” he says matter-of-factly. His fingers slow down around my sensitive area, and I’m afraid he’s going to withhold euphoria from me.

“Kai––fucking––Havertz,” I half moan, half gasp as his fingers pick up their pace and he slams into me, the final push that sends me soaring into bliss. I never cuss unless I have a really good reason for it and lashing my frustration out on the infuriating tease that is Kai Havertz is a good enough reason for me. However, he makes up for his devilish nature by understanding every nook and cranny of my body. On cloud nine, I ride out the high to the fullest extent before my body goes fully limp. I suck in a breath when he pulls out, only to feel the warm liquid on my back coming in spurts.

“Fuck,” he moans, and I just wish I could watch him as he comes undone. I think it’s hot when he releases his load on me––I like it best when he does it on my chest. So I can marvel at him with his sweat-matted hair, throbbing Adam’s apple, and fluttering eyelids. He wipes my back with his/my jersey and pulls me into his lap.

“The way you moan my name, I’ll never be able to forget you,” he sighs, nibbling on my neck.

“How romantic,” I tease. But really, I’d be content calling out only his name for the rest of my life. Kai fucking Havertz.

“C’mon, baby, let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, rising to his feet cheerfully. His fingers lace in mine as he starts for the shower stalls. My heart thumps wildly in my chest as my feet pad excitedly across the tile floor alongside him. Another great quality about Kai: his stamina is unmatched, on and off the football field.

*a/n: if you do by chance read this, I’d love to know what you think of it!

#kai havertz #kai havertz imagine #kai havertz one shot #kai havertz fanfic #football fanfiction #kai havertz fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer blurb #chelsea fc #football fanfic #football blurb #Kai havertz smut #smut #fanfic #fanfiction #one shot #imagine #drabble

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