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shedobewritingalittle · 3 years

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As The World Caves In

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark!Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve deals with the loss of his wife after the Snap.

Rating: R?

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Grief, depression, feelings of loneliness, death, graphic depiction of a death

A/N: hi yes I wanted to get this out before TFATWS got out. I have never liked the ending Steve got in Endgame, so I wanted to write a new one for him!

Steve would like to say that he lost his wife like everyone else did that day.

He would love to say that she turned into ash like the rest of his teammates. He would love to say that they had some tear-filled goodbye before she turned into nothing. He would love to have that hope that might be able to come back.

But he can't.

Because she actually died that day in Wakanda. Right before his eyes.

It had happened after Thanos had tossed Steve aside. Y/N had charged at the Titan, angry at the purple being for hurting her husband. He caught her in mid-air, his golden gauntlet shimmering in the sunlight as it wrapped tightly around her throat. Steve had scrambled to stand up, his eyes on her.

Y/N coughed and sputtered, her face turning colors as she kicked, her fingers trying to pry the large gold covered fingers off of her throat. And while it felt like hours for Steve, it had only been seconds. Seconds. Seconds he had held her in their air, seconds she had suffered as the Titan cut off her oxygen. Thanos had smirked before tightening his grip, a sickening crack filling the air. Steve couldn't breathe as her body was tossed towards him. It seemed to move in slow motion, bouncing when it hit the ground.

When her body finally came to a stop in front of him, her head lolling to the side as the cloud of dust settled. Steve still had hope somehow. He prayed to the Lord above as he looked at her, hoping that she was somehow still alive. Blood vessels had burst in her eyes and blood trickled out of her mouth. There was a darkening bruise on her throat, her neck was bent at an unnatural angle. Steve had been unable to move, unable to breathe. Within an instant, she was gone. His wife, the love of his life, ripped away from him in mere seconds.

And then his friends and teammates turned into ash all around him.

The worst moment of his life was when he watched his wife die right in front of him. The second worst is having to tell her brother that she was dead.

After Tony had come down the ramp of the ship, Steve had ran over to help him down that last view steps and over to Pepper. Stark told Steve that Peter was gone and in that moment of silence that followed, Tony's eyes scanned the small group of survivors for his adopted sister. Tears sprung up in the man's eyes as he looked back at Steve. The Captain's throat constricts with emotion, tears brimming in his eyes as he just nods, unable to get the words out. Pepper ran up in that moment, wrapping her arms around Tony just as tears rolled down his face.

Y/N is the only one they actually bury. Her funeral is a quiet affair, with only the remaining members of their team and Pepper in attendance. The couple had never talked about what might happen or what they would want if either of them died. Tony tells him that she would want to be buried next to their parents, so she is. He makes sure his baby sister has the best coffin money can buy, the best headstone-everything. Her funeral is the last time Steve and Tony talk to each other.

Steve gets an apartment she would have loved. It's right around the corner from the restaurant where they had their first date and a few streets away from the cemetery. There was those big windows that Y/N had always expressed fondness over. The apartment also had built in shelves that lined one wall of the living room area, which had been another selling point for him. One day Steve hoped that he would be able to fill them with her many books and tchotchkes, but now they stood empty, the shelves gathering dust. Her collection of novelty mugs weren't in the cabinets, no they were still wrapped up in newspapers within one of the many boxes. He had planned on unpacking all of the things that had once filled their shared room at the compound, but the boxes stay in the second bedroom, all piled up in the middle of the room. He couldn't find it in himself to go through all of her old things, didn't want to be bombarded with emotions and memories.

That first year is the hardest. Learning to live without her tears him to shreds. Steve hardly sleeps, hardly eats. He spends a lot of his time alone, dwelling over what he could've done differently. Natasha tries to reach out to him, but Steve distances himself. He tells himself that he needs to do this alone, needs to try to get through it by himself. Y/N always feels like she's just out of his grasp and he prays and begs to have her back with him. His prayers go unanswered.

Natasha appears outside his door on the one year anniversary of Thanos's snap and Y/N's death, holding a bottle of vodka in one hand and Asgardian mead in the other. They sit together in the kitchen and drink as vigils and memorials take place around the world. For the first time, Steve talks about how much he misses his wife. The two heroes talk all night about each person they missed, both of them wondering aloud how were they supposed to live without them.

By the end of the second year, Steve is getting used to living without her. He hates it. He hates how much that ache in his chest has lessened. He hates that he can see a picture of her without a lump forming in his throat. Steve is able to talk about her more and starts a grief support group. Sure he sometimes wakes up and hopes she's there, but that's getting less and less frequent. Steve's afraid that his memories of her are going to slip away from him, terrified of forgetting her.

So he starts to draw her. He's desperate to hold onto every memory of her, so he fills up page after page, sketchbook after sketchbook of nothing but Y/N. The drawings aren't perfect, but he is able to cement those memories in his mind. Steve wants to make sure that he can remember her face without having to study a picture. So when he remembers something about her, he puts it onto a piece of paper. Y/N on their wedding day. Y/N when they were on the run and she fell asleep in the Quinn Jet. Y/N brushing her teeth early in the morning, her silhouette lit up by the almost golden bathroom light. Y/N the first day they met.

Natasha sees them once when she stops by to see him. One of the sketchbooks is left open on the table and she sneaks a peek when Steve goes to the other room to get a sweater. There on the page in incredible detail is a sketch of her best friend with tears in her eyes, her mouth open in shock. She doesn't know that this is the face she made when she learned that Bucky had killed her parents and Steve knew. Natasha looks away, her cheeks burning. She feels like she saw something too personal, too raw, and she shuts the journal before Steve returns.

When the third, fourth, and then fifth year rolls around- well Y/N has been gone longer than they were together as a couple. Steve has gotten used to her being gone. He's able to walk past the room holding all of the boxes without stalling. It gets easier to talk about her, easier to share stories about her to his group. He still misses her, it's just easier for him to live now. His wedding band never leaves his ring finger, needing to have a part of her with him always. Steve still loves her and he doesn't think he can ever love someone as much as he loves his wife.

And then Scott Lang reappears.

Steve wants to reverse what Thanos did, wants to bring back his friends even if that means he cannot bring back his wife. That ache in is chest returns as they put together their heist plan. Steve feels like there's a ghost following him around while he's back at the compound. His shoulders feel heavy again and he tries to put on a brave face as the people around him get hopeful. He tries to be happy, knowing that he will be getting his friends back and fixing what had happened, but he can't help but be upset.

Steve gets to see her when they go back.

It's after he knocks out the younger version of himself. Steve is standing over himself, breathing hard, and holding Loki's scepter tightly in his hands.

"That is America's Ass." He comments, looking behind him before back down to the unconscious man. He needs to meet back up with the others so that they can-

"It definitely is." A familiar voice calls out from in front of him. Steve stills, his breath catching in his throat before he slowly lifts his head. There she is, standing before him with a smirk on her face. Y/N is dressed in her navy blue suit, her hair messy from the battle she just went through. Her face is dirty, her lip split and there is a long cut across her cheekbone. His mouth goes dry and he's suddenly tongue tied, like he was when they first met.

Steve remembers how nervous and awkward he was when they were first introduced to each other. Y/N gave him a million dollar smile and just like that, he knew he was a goner. Steve had stumbled over saying his name, which had then made her laugh-God, that laugh. That laugh had made him warm all over, made butterflies swarm around in his stomach. And in the past five years, those butterflies had been dormant and now, now they're wide awake.

"You're not my Steve." Y/N announces as she walks towards him, studying him. Steve's heart is beating fast and he wants to reach out and hold her close, wanting to tell her how much he loves her. My Steve. God, he misses her. He misses everything about her.

"How can you tell?" He asks, a tiny smile appearing on his face. Y/N chuckles, taking seeing two Steve's surprisingly well. But then again, she had just got done fighting aliens and a literal god so he supposes that things have been weirder.

"My Steve won't even look me in the eye. He blushes when I look at him. When I look at you...you just look so sad. That's how I know you're not Loki." She answers, stopping in front of him. Steve studies her face, taking in every little detail because he knows that this is the last time he'll see her.

"I-I'm that easy to read, huh?" Steve retorts and she laughs again, nodding. God, he misses that sound. He misses her so fucking much that it makes his chest ache. Y/N's smile falters as she looks at him, watching as his smile drops.

"I'm not going to pretend what is exactly going on here, okay? Obviously you are going through something and it's pretty clear you are on a some type of mission." She tells him, motioning to the scepter in his hands. Steve looks down to his hand before looking at her. He knows that she should be calling for back up because by the way people keep speaking through her comm Y/N must know that things are going south.

"I'll bring it back, I promise." Steve replies and the smile returns to her face. Y/N glances down to the unconscious man on the floor before looking at him.

"I know you will. I never saw you, new Steve. And don't worry, I'll make sure you don't choke on your tongue." She teases, gesturing to the passed out version of himself. Steve's smile returns to his face as she continues, "But I do expect some sort of explanation when you come back."

"Of course. I'll be back before you even know I was gone." Steve says, wanting to say so many other things that he knows that he just can't tell her. He opens his mouth again when her comm once again crackles to life. Y/N's eyes widen and she gestures for him to leave. Steve's mouth snaps shut and he nods, quickly walking away.

Tony would later tell Steve when they're in 1970 that he started crying when he saw his little sister.

When his teammates return on the battlefield, she isn't among them. He knows she won't be coming through a portal, but some part of him still holds out hope for some reason. Yet, there is no sadness inside of him on that battlefield. No, rage has pushed all of that sadness aside, filling him up completely.

When he fought against Thanos and his army, he did so with every ounce of strength in his body. Steve wanted to avenge the death of Y/N, wanted to kill Thanos for what he did to her. Steve has never felt so angry in his entire life. He wanted to be the one who ended the Titan's life. He ignored the large gash in his arm and tore through aliens.

And in the end, it's Tony who takes out Thanos. He is the one who avenges his baby sister's death, but the price he pays his high. And Steve has to watch another Stark die.

He feels so guilty that he is alive and both of the Stark siblings are gone, both of them buried side by side, right next to their parents.

There is just so much death in his life, so much damn loss. And he's tired. Steve is exhausted. He hoped that bringing back his friends and the half of the universe that had disappeared because of the Snap would make him feel better, but it hadn't. No, instead that hurt has returned with full force. His chest feels like its about to cave in on itself, like his ribs piercing his lungs and heart-God, everything seems unbearable. All he wants is for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

And then, he is reminded that he has to return the stones.

And while every single part of the journey is noteworthy, he saves returning the scepter for last.

Y/N is sitting beside the unconscious version of himself when he returns. She turns his head to look at him, a smile on her face. For a moment, he considers staying here with her, reliving every single moment of their life and their relationship as it happens.

But he knows that he can't.

It wouldn't be right for him to stay here with her, knowing everything that he knows. Steve has had his time with her, time that he will treasure for the rest of is life. He knows that if he returns back to his timeline, there will be a lot of hurting that he will have to go through. Steve knows that it would be so much easier to stay here with Y/N, but he won't let himself do it.

So Steve explains to Y/N why he needed the scepter, leaving out her death and the death of her brother. After he finishes, she stays quiet for a moment, processing all of this new information. He just waits and sits there.

"Don't tell me what happens, please. I want the cards to fall where they may. I-I want to be surprised." Y/N tells him suddenly, glancing at the unconscious man before looking at Steve. The Captain understands exactly what she means. She must know somehow that she ends up with him, something on his face his showing his hand. Y/N had always told him that he had a shitty poker face. A smile stretches across his face, nodding. His wedding ring-hidden under his gloves-feels so much heavier, like its weighing his arm down.

A pit of dread opens up in Steve's stomach as his time draws to an end. He thanks and apologizes to Y/N as he hands over the scepter. She just smiles, telling him not to worry about it as she puts it back into its case. He must look as upset as he feels because before he leaves, Y/N wraps her arms around him. It surprises Steve, but he quickly wraps his arms back around her. Steve holds her tightly, letting his eyes shut. He knows that this will be the last time he'll ever hold her and he just savors it, wishing that it could last forever. Wishing that he could stay here forever.

But everything has to come to an end.

When he says goodbye, he knows that Y/N doesn't understand that this is him saying goodbye to her for the last time. Steve finally gets to tell her goodbye and even though he isn't able to tell Y/N how much he loves her, it's okay. It's okay because he will be able to tell her how much he loves her one day, even if that day isn't today. They'll be reunited again. He just needs to wait.

She tells him goodbye and he takes one final look at her before he returns back to his timeline, back into a world where she's gone.

That night, he returns to his empty apartment, the silence almost deafening. That hole in his chest has reopened and he is in so much pain that everything just feels numb.

He goes through the motions of getting ready for bed, washing the day's events off of him hoping that this would also wash away the numbness, trying to pretend like nothing of importance had happened hours earlier. When he crawls into the same bed he has been sleeping in for the past five years-a bed she has never touched-he realizes how empty it is without her. He can't feel her here like he can at the Compund-No, here she doesn't follow behind him. No, this is a place she has never been so she can't be here. The apartment is suddenly too big for him-everything is too big for him. It's too big and too empty and too fucking quiet-

It's like the string that was holding him together the past five years has finally snapped and he just starts crying. The Captain's body shakes with sobs as he lays in that empty room. Steve had thought he had processed her death and grieved already, but he hadn't. Until this very moment, it had never fully set in that Y/N was dead. It was never fully real that she was gone. He knew that she was, but some part of him was still holding out hope that somehow she was going to come back. If Bucky could come back, surely she could have as well. But Y/N isn't Bucky and so she never came back.

It took until today for him to fully realize that she was gone. Y/N was gone and there was nothing he can do about it. There was no stones to gather, no traveling through dimensions for him to do. Steve had to live the rest of his life without the love of his life, in a time where he'll never belong in. That small flicker of hope that had been silently living inside of him had been snuffed out, leaving an empty dark space inside of him, leaving him cold and empty.

The only hope that remained is that they would be reunited one day in death, but until then Steve would be forced to carry around his pain where ever he went.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #captain america x reader #chris evans x reader

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romaxnogersav · 4 years

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↠ Desperate frustration

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Warnings: explicit sexual content, smut, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex, Steve’s an asshole

Word count: 3,338

Summary: Two years of pent up frustration and agitation can make a person snap. In the end, maybe it’s all worth it.

Kinktober day: October 3 - Angry sex

A/N: Day three already! Didn’t think I’d get here, but I did! I’m leaving you to this little piece, and i hope you enjoy! Reblogs and comments are gold, we hoes trive on them! Let me know what you think!💫

Posting this for the n-th time, and I’m just so sad and mad at Tumblr, so like fuck you Tumblr. To the people that go numerous notifications, a huge, massive apology!

I hope you enjoy!💫

If looks could kill, you'd be as good as dead by now. Especially if those looks belonged to one Captain America.

You weren't though, just a bit bruised, and that's what you've been trying to tell the stubborn ass that was Steve Rogers. He, on the other hand, wouldn't listen. He had been staring you down for the last hour, ever since you sat down to debrief on your most recent mission.

Steve was throwing you his disapproving look. Lips, pulled into a tight straight line, a crease between his brows, and eyes, darker, and much rougher than his usually soft sky blues. It said a lot, the look itself. Not only was it disapproving, but it also showed his displeasure with the choices and actions you had made hours prior.

You had to ask yourself, when was he ever pleased with you?

You've been working alongside the Avengers as a field agent, for a little over two years now. In those two years, there hadn't been one nice thing that left Steve's mouth, when it came to you.

There was never a "good job, Agent," when you had successfully done your job. There was never a smile, that he often let slip to some of the other recruits and agents in the field. There wasn't even constructive criticism. It was all straight forward, blunt, irritation, and assessment.

You've been successfully paying no mind to him, stopped doing so after your second month in the field, when it came apparent how grumpy the 100 years old grandpa was. You've had continued doing your job, ignoring everything the man did outside of missions. You didn't even spare him a glance whenever he looked at you the wrong way.

And people dared say that Captain America was a sweetheart. It seemed people didn't know him the way you did.

And today was just the cherry on top. The thing was, you weren't sure if the cherry was yours, or Steve's. All you knew was that you were starting to get irritated. Two years of pent up frustration and agitation could do that to a person. And it didn't help that the man looked like a literal Adonis, even if he was getting on your nerves most of the time. Even if every time he looked at you, his expression morphed into one of hostility.

It had been an easy recon mission, well, as easy as Hydra let it be. You get in, check the facility, obtain any information you could, get out. The team didn't even need Steve when you had his second in command, Natasha Romanoff.

But of course, he had to come, criticize and order you around as if you were his lapdog and not an Agent with an extraordinary skill set.

Ten minutes after you penetrated the facility in Munich over a dozen Hydra agents had shown up, guns raised high. You've fought with all you could, eventually taking all of them down, but not without some scrapes and bruises.

You had a busted lip and a few cracked ribs. There were bruises on your body, along with a nasty knife gash on your side. Other than that, you and all the other agents were just fine.

But of course, Captain Hardass had to whine and bite back at you every chance he got.

"You were out of line," He snarled from across the table, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. Natasha, who sat at the head of the table, along with James perked up on the wall behind her, lifted a brow at his words.

"I was out of line? I was following orders, in case you forgot," you snapped back, sick and tired of constantly listening to him criticize you.

"Not my orders, that's for sure," it was becoming more and more apparent that he was doing it on purpose and that it wouldn't end well.

"Steve, that's enough. She was following my orders," Natasha tried to intervene, stop the starring match, and the harsh words between you and Steve. But it was of no use, and Steve told her as much.

"Stay out of it Natasha. This is between me and Y/N," He hissed, barely sparing a glance in her direction. From the corner of your eyes, you saw Natasha open her mouth to protest, but Bucky laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her from doing so.

"There's nothing between you and me, Rogers. You are just looking for a fucking excuse to snap at me, just like every other time," you scoffed, rolling your chair from side to side, bored.

He stood suddenly, body rigid, then he turned towards Natasha and Bucky. All that left his mouth, was a single, simple word, "Out!" he almost growled, his anger seeping out of him in waves. You saw the reluctance in their faces, but when his eyes found theirs again, darker and wider, they walked out of the room with a quick, silent step.

He rounded the table in a hurry, the moment the door closed behind the two Avengers. He spun your chair with a force, caging you in it.

"You disobeyed me."

"I was following the objective," your reply was curt, not up for question. You went to retrieve the information, which was what the mission was for. The fact that he needed to grow some balls, and stop being a jerk wasn't your problem. You were simply doing your job.

"You need to be taught how to follow orders. How to speak to your superiors," his voice was low, almost a murmur in the quiet of the room. One of his hands left the chair's armrests, in favor of sneaking to sit atop your thigh. It radiated warmth where it sat at the soft material of your leggings.

Your breathing hitched, and a shiver ran down your spine. You felt heat rush into your body, a tight ache settling itself into your private parts.

You swallowed thickly, clearing your throat with a smirk, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I bruise your ego, Captain?" you asked in a sweet voice. You were pushing his buttons, trying to see what happens. You were so over his attitude and the way he was treating you.

His hand moved up, painfully slowly as a smirk colored his face. His eyes were blown wide with lust, one you only now realized was directed at you. There was anger there too, hot, white anger. You had to bite your lip to stop the moan that was bubbling to get out.

"My ego is just fine, darlin'. You, on the other hand, need to be taught a lesson," before you could say anything, his lips were on yours. You kissed him back, rough and needy, intoxicating. He didn't waste any time in swiping his tongue over your lower lip, waiting for you to open your mouth and let him in. When his hand cupped you through your leggings, you groaned into his mouth, which gave his tongue the perfect opportunity. He explored every crevice of your mouth, tongue running over your teeth, dancing with yours.

His hand descended up, his knuckles glazing your breast before he cupped it in his hand, massaging the flesh through your tank top.

He took your bottom lip into his mouth, pulling at the flesh with his teeth, mindful of the slit, but still rough. He pulled back panting, his hot breath framing your face. With your eyes still shut, you tried to catch your breath, every nerve in your body on fire.

Before you could even open your eyes to look at the men before you, his hands were under your thighs, pulling you up. You shrieked, startled by the sudden movement. He laid you atop the cold, glass table, your thighs locked on the small of his back, his hard length straining against the sweatpants he wore, rubbing deliciously against your core.

"Feel that? Do you feel what that snarky mouth is doing to me? You feel what you goddamned attitude is doing to me, kitten?" he rasped, his hands holding your hips in a tight grip. You had a feeling you'd be bruised the next day, but that was hardly your concern at the moment.

You scoffed, holding his biceps just as tightly, "My attitude? Jesus Christ, look who's talking. What about your attitude, you assh-" you didn't get the chance to finish your sentence. His lips met the tender flesh on your neck, sucking it into his mouth. A loud moan escaped you, your hips bucking forward against his.

"There it is again. Don't worry, baby, I'll teach ya some manners," he growled, hands roaming all over your body.

"My manners are just fine. It's yours you should worry about, self-righteous jerk," you snapped again, back arching off the table when his lips descended to the column of your neck.

"You are so feisty, kitten. Been wonderin' when you'd finally snap and start runnin' that pretty little mouth of yours all over the place," he murmured against your skin. His hands moved under your tank top, and he ran them over your stomach, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

His hands were calloused, the skin rough from so many years of labor. His touch though, that was gentler than you imagined it'd be.

You felt a surge of anger go through your body at his words. But no, anger wasn't even the right word at that moment. You could do anger; you could do with being angry at the super-soldier. It was something else, stronger, dangerous. It was rage, hot, pure rage towards him, and his actions. Towards him and his damn ego.

"That's what this is all about? Snapping at you for being an asshole. Two years of your goddamned behavior, and it's all for what? So could get a boner? Fuck me in the debriefing room? God, you're desperate," you barked, panting, from what, you weren't sure. Was it because of your fury? Or was it because he was running those damned, rough hands against your skin? You couldn't be sure.

He simply smirked, as if enjoying the show, you were putting on for him.

"Oh, you haven't seen desperate, baby. So I'm gonna fuck you real good, and you'd beg me not to stop. Then, and only then, would you know the meaning of the word desperate," he breathed, not wasting any time in stripping you off your clothes.

You laughed, the sound filling the space around you, "That's not gonna happen, Rogers. I don't beg. And I especially won't beg you." He reached for your bra, ripping the material in half without a care in the world. Your panties shared the same faith, and you were left bare in front of him.

His clothes soon followed, his shirt falling to the floor. You laid there on the table, the surface taking off a part of the warmth that flooded your body, as you stared at the man before him.

Steve was beautiful, but you sure as hell would never tell him as much. He was sculpted like a ceramic figure. His shoulders were broad, wide. His waist, narrowed. You couldn't take your eyes off of him, and when he saw you looking, he just smirked. Fucking asshole.

Next, he reached for his sweatpants, letting them slide down his thick thighs. Once those were off, you could see the strain his dick had on his boxers, along with the wet patch on the fabric.

He bent down then, his lips wrapping around one of your nipples. He pulled the hard peak between his teeth, rolling his tongue over it to soothe the ache.

He looked at you from under his laches, while one of his hands descended downward, towards your oozing channel. He ran a finger over your slit, feeling the wetness that had gathered there. He groaned, the sound almost primal.

He teased the lips of your pussy with his fingers, but he didn't touch the place that ached the most. You tried to keep your hips from bucking against his hand, searching for that little piece of friction you craved. You weren't going to give in that easily.

"I can feel your muscles tremor. You want me to touch you, don't you? Well, you'll have to beg for it," he muttered, his finger barely glazing the hood of your clit, but a mewled sound still fell from your lips.

"You could continue daydreaming, Steve, because I sure as hell won't ever beg for – " the words died in your throat when you felt, not one, but two fingers breach your core with force. You cried out, your walls clamping down on the digits. He pumped them into you at a steady pace, his mouth playing with your breast at the same time.

It was sinful, the sound your pussy made as his fingers dove in and out of you or the little sounds you tried to suppress, as to not boost his ego. You were still angry, you still wanted to kick his ass to the 40s and back, but at the same time, you couldn't lie and say you wanted him to stop.

The burning in your body, the arch in your lady bits, and the tremors in your muscles were very much real, and they awaited the familiar feeling of release. You knew that Steve could feel it if the gleam in his eyes was any indication.

He suddenly pulled his fingers out, the action eliciting a whine of protest out of you.

"Can you feel it now, what it means to be desperate?"

"Shut up and fuck me, Rogers. Or I'm going to go find someone willing to continue what you started. Maybe, Bucky? I'm sure he's gonna love it," you knew it was a low blow, bringing Bucky into this as a means to bring out Steve's anger even more. But you couldn't help it. He wanted you to bite back, and that's what you were doing.

And hell, you were even starting to enjoy it.

"Oh, I'm gonna fuck you so well, you'd forget your name," When Steve finally pulled his boxers off, he sat as bare as you were. Your eyes were locked on his cock, the tip red and angry, leaking with pre-come. He took himself in hand, stroking his length slowly.

You felt your core clench at the sheer size of him, and you had to question if the serum did enhance everything.

He ran the head of his cock from your slit to your clit a few times, before he started pushing in. There was nothing gentle or slow. In one fast, rough trust he was seated inside you to the hilt.

Your back arched off the table, a groan falling from your lips. The stretch burned, discomfort laced with pleasure.

He didn't give you any time to get accustomed to his size before he was pulling back and snapping his hips forward. His thrusts were brutal, powerful. His cock dragged against your inner depths wonderfully, shaking you down to the bones.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, digging your nails into his back. Your heels dug into the globes of his ass, while you pulled him in, urging him to go faster, harder.

He slammed into you at a rapid pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the air. You bit at your lower lip, trying to suppress any sound willing to escape, willing to urge him on because that wasn't going to happen.

Of course, the action didn't escape him, because his hand reached up, taking a hold of your jaw and squeezing the flesh the tiniest bit.

"So now you want to keep your mouth shut? That's not how this works, baby doll. I want to hear you moan, and scream. I want the whole building to hear how well I'm fucking you," he rasped, his hips pistoning harder.

"There's no-nothing to hear," you gasped, hand winding into his hair, pulling it with force, "Do better," you huffed shakily. Your words urged him on, and he changed the angle of his thrusts. It allowed his cock to hit different points inside your silky walls, making your breathing hitched.

On one particularly hard thrust, and a slight rotation of his hips, his tip hit that delicious spot inside of you, and you couldn't keep quiet any longer. You cried out, loud and clear, the sound bouncing off the walls. He smirked, the bastard.

His lips met your neck again, biting at the flesh until it left an angry, red mark onto your skin. His hips kept the angle, hitting that spot inside you over and over again. Your hips bucked forward, meeting his thrusts.

You could feel yourself moving closer to the edge of release when your pussy clenched around his dick on its' own accord. The action was met with a deep groan from the man on top of you, the same one who's eyes no longer held the anger they possessed minutes prior. The only thing visible in them now was the need for release, the desperation to be pushed over the edge.

You held onto his neck, bringing him down so his eyes could level with yours. You forced him to look at you, as a wide smirk made its' way onto your face.

"Oh, darling. Can you feel what it means to be desperate? Because your eyes sure as hell know what they are talking about," you cooed, your lips barely brushing together. He closed the gap, kissing you hard. Your teeth clicked together from the force. He played your lips like a violin, biting and sucking them into his mouth. You suspected it as his way of shutting you up because he had nothing smart to say back. One win in your corner.

You tried to move your hand down, to add the little pressure that you needed to meet your climax when Steve's hand wrapped around your wrist. He pulled your hand up and over your head, holding it there, still devouring your mouth.

His hand slid down, just where you wanted it. His fingertips teased your clit, before his thumb finally covered the arching bundle of nerves. He moved it in tight, slow circles, bringing you closer to the edge.

If wasn't long before he was taking you apart, his hips never ceasing their movements. Your vision blurred at the edges, the familiar coil in your belly snapped. You cried out your release, and Steve swallowed the sound.

With a few more pumps of his hips, Steve stilled inside you, his come coating your walls.

You were still kissing, panting into each other's mouths, even while coming down from your highs.

When he finally pulled away from your mouth, you opened your eyes to look at him. His azures were no longer filled with anger, the hostility you were so familiar with. Instead, there was something softer there, gentler.

Your own anger was long gone, disappeared somewhere between the rapid snap of his hips against your g-spot, and his hungry kisses. You were exhausted, there was no fight left in you any longer.

You didn't know what to say anymore, what was there to say. It looked like Steve himself was at a loss of words, which was a rare occasion in on itself.

You opened your mouth in hopes that something would come out, but it didn't. Instead, a voice, a very familiar one filled yours and Steve's ears.

"I hope two years of pent up frustration were worth it because I'm never sitting down at that table, ever again," it was Bucky, his voice full of disgust, yet playful. You felt your face heat up. Because just how much did he hear, or see?

You wanted the ground to open and swallow you whole.

Above you, Steve laughed. The asshole laughed!

"Shut up, Rogers."

"Yes, ma'am," and for the first time in two years, Steve didn't act like a complete asshole.

#chris evans #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers smut #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #kinktober #kinktober with tina #tina's kinktober #tina writes

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valkyriesryde · 4 years

Text

The Dynamic Between Us

Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader (with a hint of Sam Wilson x Steve Rogers because I can’t help myself)

Summary: You need a ride and god forbid you have to call Bucky in your time of need. That damned man and his stupid ways of being in your life.

Warnings: angst, happy ending, fluff, cheating (but not between the pairing), sad boi hours with a sprinkle of miscommunication because we a sucker for that kinda trope

Word Count: 2,900....

A/N: This is for @flowerymoonlight ‘s challenge which was uhh a couple weeks ago I’m sorry babe lmao but it’s here! The theme was enemies to lovers and I tried my best. It’s also for @stuckonjbbarnes Fluff vs Angst challenge, the prompt is bolded. I hope y'all enjoy!!

Masterlist

I can’t call Steve or Sam because it’s date night.

I can’t call Wanda she’s with Pietro

I can’t call Natasha, she’s having dinner with Clint and his family.

Goddammit!

I don’t want to call him

I have to

I don’t have a choice

The contact sat on your phone as clear as day though you struggled to actually read it properly through the water in your eyes. You could still tell who it was, your last option, the one you really didn’t want to call but damn you had to.

Calling Long-haired Roommate

“Hello?” The deep voice answered, slightly annoyed and you knew he was annoyed it was you calling.

You struggled to control your breathing enough to answer him, the sob sitting in your chest heavy as you held your hand over your mouth to conceal it.

“Hello? Dammit, did you buttdial me, fucking hell, why me? Come on ma-”

“Bucky?” Your voice strangled and desperate.

“Doll what the hell?” He still sounded annoyed but there was a hint of worry, it can’t be.

A deep breath and you closed your eyes, trying not to think about the events that led to you sitting in your car balling your eyes out and calling the one person least likely to help you in any situation.

“Um, I’m having car issues and I wouldn’t be calling you if I didn’t have another choice, can you please just come pick me up?” You rushed out the lie in one breath then held another in to stop the tears.

“What about Jake?”

Don’t say his fucking name.

“He’s at work, can you please just come and get me?” Another deep breath, control yourself. “I'm frustrated and I-I just need you to come pick me up. I’m outside his apartment…” Your voice was strained and Bucky had a feeling something was wrong, you knew he did, you were never the best liar but you weren’t ready to say the truth out loud yet or admit it happened to anyone, especially him.

Nonetheless he begrudgingly agreed and so you waited in your car for your knight in shining armour...or well Bucky in his beat up pick up truck.

When you heard the truck pull up next to you you immediately got out and made your way to his passenger door, you were already standing in front of the car when Bucky got out of his side and that’s when you saw it, the jumper cables.

“No,” you groaned and he furrowed his brows at you.

“What do you mean no? Your car isn’t working, this is literally my job to find out what the problem is and fix it…” he trailed off as he walked towards you and his eyes caught sight of something behind you. The confusion on his face was replaced by rage and Bucky shook his head. “Are you fucking kidding me?! That’s Jake’s car! What, you got into a fight so you didn’t want to call him? Fucking hell, I’m not your goddamn chauffier!”

Bucky turned around and threw his cables into the backseat of the car but he paused before he got back into the truck. He was a second away from driving away, from leaving you here because your boyfriend lived upstairs and you were a goddamn adult who should be able to communicate with your significant other. But in that second you didn’t reply with a snarky comment, you didn’t tell him to fuck off, you didn’t tell him Jake was a dick, you didn’t say anything.

When Bucky turned around he saw you standing there, your eyes staring blankly at him, your chest moving rapidly and he realised you were crying.

“Your car is working isn’t it?”

You nodded, Bucky stepped towards you again.

“Jake’s not at work is he?” You shook your head, Bucky stood in front of you now, toe to toe and he looked over his shoulder and saw red.

“Right then.” He pushed around you and stormed towards the building’s entrance, his hand on the hand as you could grab his other arm and stop him in his tracks.

“Bucky no please, it’s nothing okay I just want to go home.” You continued to cry and beg him to just leave this godforsaken place and he was so tempted to brush you off and storm up there and give Jake a piece of his mind but when your hand slid into his it was like the heat of his skin cooled and his mind started to become clear again.

When he looked at you he saw you like he never had before, you were small, you were broken and you were pleading for him to just do this one thing. Why did he want to stand up for you? Why did he feel so protective over you? Why can’t he just be his normal asshole self and take you home?!

“Okay, but I need to know what the fuck is going on?” He demanded finally.

“I’ll tell you okay...on the way home.”

Sam and Steve were out, they would be until midnight at least, date night always went on forever for them. It was currently just past ten as Bucky drove through the near deserted streets home, it wasn’t a long drive, ten minutes or so.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” you asked into the silence that sat around the two of you.

Bucky gripped the steering wheel he tried so hard not to be angry, you didn’t want that but fuck it was hard not to turn the car around and pummel the guy.

“They’re going to want to know what happened,” he muttered and glanced over to you, you’d stopped crying but it was so obvious that you had been. “I won’t tell them, but what are you going to tell them?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “we broke up, it wasn’t working. Isn’t that enough?”

“They’re nosey, they’ll want to know and they’ll probably figure out that there’s something else-”

“I don’t care Bucky!” You yelled as he pulled into the carpark. “I really couldn’t give a shit what they think or what they want to know! I got cheated on. Is that what I should tell them? I walked in on him fucking a girl on the table and he said it was my fault. It’s my fault, I pushed him to it, I’m the one that should be to blame. Is that what you want me to tell them? Tell them how he told me he was sorry,”

Bucky got out of the car and walked around to your side, you sobbed and tore off your seatbelt, throwing open the door and slamming it shut behind you.

“About how he suggested we have an open fucking relationship? You know what Bucky? Thanks for picking me up but I don’t need your fucking opinion on what I should do! When have you given a shit about what I do?!”

Bucky ignored you, you yelled and cried at him and he ignored you. He pulled out his phone and started scrolling.

“God you’re INSUFFERABLE!” You yelled, then he held out his phone for you to see.

“What? When is this from? Is this about me?” He took the phone back and put in his pocket, he shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the truck.

“Couple weeks ago. I saw ‘he who shall not be named’ out with a group and he and this one chick looked too close for my liking. Steve said I was probably overreacting so I forgot about it until now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I never trusted him to be honest-”

“Bucky what the hell?!” You yelled again, you kept yelling at him and you couldn’t stop, your emotions were on high. “You knew?! Steve knew?!”

“No. You’re not listening to me.”

“Then explain it?” You folded your arms and Bucky had the audacity to chuckle, he reached out and pried your arms apart, his hands running up your sides.

“I didn’t like what I saw, but I didn’t see anything actually out of the ordinary, I just wanted a justification for despising him that wasn’t my jealousy. Steve said it was probably nothing, he didn’t think anything of it either and played it off like I did, I was jealous.” He sighed as his hands came to the top of your shoulders, the base of your neck, your jaw and he was standing chest to chest.

“I don’t need this right now, you picked the worst possible time you know that?” You pushed him away and pressed the palms of your hands into your eyes, Bucky didn’t stand his ground, he stepped backwards and let you have your space.

“You called me, remember?”

“You were my last option.”

“You still called,” he shrugged, “and I came running, like I always do. I know this is shit timing but are you blind? You know who told those chicks in senior year to back off? Me. You know who almost got expelled in our second year of college because two fratdicks wouldn’t stop harassing you at a party? Me. You know who got and made that bookshelf you love so much? Me.” Bucky began pacing, you watched him in shock, you had no idea.

You thought it was Nat in high school, she was always threatening to do something. You thought the frat boys got bored and left you alone but Bucky had gotten them to back off. You thought it was Steve and Sam that got you the bookshelf for your birthday, you gushed about it for weeks, but it was Bucky. It was Bucky.

“You could have told me? You could have said literally ANYTHING Bucky!” You were crying for a whole nother reason now, no longer about Jake but Bucky, about all the years you could have had any sort of positive relationship with Bucky, if he hadn’t let you believe that you despised each other.

“I WAS SCARED!” He yelled and turned his back to you, he heard the garage door at the top of the ramp start to open and his eyes went wide as he turned and stepped towards you. “I was scared and so I lied and I’m sorry for that. I don’t do feelings very well and I didn’t know how to express them except for actions but then I hid what actions I was doing because I was scared. Now you know, I’m sorry it was shit timing but I’m not going to let you believe what Jake did was your fault when I’m standing here living proof that you don’t deserve to be treated like that because it’s his fault. He did that.”

The car came down the ramp, its lights blaring through the windows of Bucky’s truck and came towards the two of you before slowing down.

“And you wouldn’t?” It pulled into the spot beside his truck, Steve’s spot.

“No, never.” Before you could say anything he stormed past you and into the stairway, he ran up the stairs two at a time until he got to his floor but he couldn’t bear to open it and walk into your apartment. So he sunk to the floor against the wall and waited for his heart to slow down and his mind to stop reeling.

“What’s going on here?” Sam asked with a smirk but it quickly dropped when he saw your tearstained face and Steve rushed towards you.

“What happened?”

“Jake and I broke up,” you said looking at the stairway, “and Bucky picked me up because I didn’t trust myself driving home.”

“Oh darling,” “you could have called us,” they both enveloped you in a hug, you stood there in their arms for a few minutes and then the two men guided you towards the elevator and you went up to your shared apartment.

No one mentioned Bucky’s running off. Not until you were walking down the hallway and Sam asked if you had gotten into a spat, you brushed it off and said “yea, I should probably apologise,” but he wasn’t in his room, he wasn’t in the apartment.

“He’s probably just cooling down, maybe he’s on the roof? He’ll be fine.” Steve told you but you could tell he was worried too.

The stairs were the only way to the roof, you only made it to the door and then you saw him, through the little window, leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. You slowly opened it so as not to startle him but Bucky’s eyes opened as soon as he heard the door and he watched you close it behind you and sit next to him without a word.

One beat, then two before either of you spoke.

“I used to have a massive crush on you,” you said quietly, “in highschool, way back when. But you were off limits in my head because you were a part of the group. Then we started this whole banter dynamic that we have, and then it just kept going and you got with Dot and then she did not like me and so our relationship took a hit. When you broke up it wasn’t quite the same. Our banter was a lot angrier, there was less joking in it. Then it just never went back to the way it was, we got into the rhythm of it I suppose.” Bucky’s eyes were on you and yours were on the wall as you spoke. “You have terrible timing.”

“I saw an opportunity,” he whispered as you turned to face him. “You called me.”

“What did you do to almost get expelled?”

“Threatened large amounts of violence on campus...they couldn’t prove it but I could prove they were harassing girls, so it all worked out,” Bucky shrugged his shoulders and smiled shyly. “I’m sorry I threw all that at you. I really am, I just-” “You saw an opportunity I know.”

“I wanted you to know someone does love you…”

“Bucky…”

“I know,” he stood up from the floor and held his hand out for you, “shit timing, I’m aware. You don’t have to do anything or say anything but I just wanted you to know.” You grabbed his hand and he pulled you up, waiting a second longer before letting go.

“I’m not saying no, or that I don’t think there’s anything there, but I’m not in the headspace to be making any sort of decision right now.”

“I know,” he smiled again and you cursed yourself for ever thinking he could hate you when he looked at you like that. “How about we start with stopping pretending we hate each other?”

“Sounds like a deal,” you laughed and the both of you shook on it.

Bucky pulled open the door, “you first,” he told you and you stepped into the hallway, he let it shut behind him but before he could make a move to walk to the apartment your fingers gripped his collar and your lips were on his.

Bucky was initially taken aback by it but soon enough you were moving insync and he had you against the wall of the hallway. His hands gripped your shit and held your waist. One hand goes into your hair to hold the back of the neck as the two of you part slowly, a shy smile on his face as your face is in a slight state of shock, you were expecting that reaction.

“I’m sorry I-”

“No don't be, I’m not mad about that,” you’re both whispering, like if anyone heard it’d be the end of the world, or like you’re in your own little world and it's only big enough for the two of you.

Bucky’s head dips again and his lips brush over yours, “I thought you said?”

“I know what I said,” and you capture your lips with his again. It’s slow and soft, different from before but the feeling is still there. It’s different from any other guy you’ve kissed, there’s no confusion about what Bucky feels as he kisses you, it’s like you can feel his love, his adoration for you in every movement of his muscles, in every touch of his fingertips and movement of his jaw.

“I thought the timing-” he backs away slowly but only an inch so he can look in your eyes, though his view switches around the entirety of your face and body between his and the wall.

“It is, we shouldn’t, fuck,” you start to panic and Bucky is there in a flash with his hand holding your jaw and reassurance on his face.

“We don’t have to do anything more than that tonight, for the next week, month, I don’t care.” He says with so much confidence that you almost miss the pain in his voice from knowing he still can’t have you after kissing you.

“What if I want to?”

Bucky chuckled and leaned his forehead against yours, “then I’m not going to say no,” he bit his lip.

“Can we take it slow?”

“Of course,” he steps back and his hands fall to yours as he pulls you towards the apartment door, “why don’t we go to your room, because your bed is bigger than mine, and watch a movie, or talk,” he shrugged his shoulders, “anything we want, and we’ll take it slow.”

He leaned against the door and smiled at you as you gleamed back, “that sounds good to me.”

“Maybe we should keep it from mum and dad though,” he gestures with his head and you laugh, agreeing with him.

“All in due time,” you smile as you open the door behind him. All in due time this will grow from the wounds and you and Bucky will find your footing in this new dynamic.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

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Bucky Taglist [6/20]: @bxrnsfeyson @brilliantbellesoares @chubby-dumplin @meganlikesfandoms @mood-pancakes @groovyhumantrashherring

#im back to my ways bitches look out #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #god i miss this man #marvel fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine

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k-llama-llama · 4 years

Text

Warm Reception

Everglow AU: 7th member

Mya/Enya x Everglow

The response isn’t exactly welcoming when Mya first debuts with Everglow.

A/N: ALSO CHECK OUT MY PATREON FOR ACCESS TO EXCLUSIVE CONTENT AND EARLY ACCESS (patreon.com/kllamallama)

Requests are OPEN!!!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“I can’t believe this is actually it.” Mya said excitedly, trying not to squirm as the stylist looped the ribbons into her ponytail. “I’m so nervous.”

“You’ve debuted before.” Sihyeon laughed. “I think you’ve definitely got this under control.”

“Yeah, I’ve debuted, but not with you guys.” Mya thanked the stylist as she walked away. “I still can’t process that the music video is already out and we’re going to go out there and perform? It’s crazy.”

“The music video is doing great, and people are loving you.” Aisha said, handing her a bottle of water. “So the performance will go great too.”

“I hope so. Oh, can you pass me my phone?” Mya took a sip and reached for the phone that Sihyeon offered.

“What are you doing?” Aisha asked.

“I just want to see what people are saying about the video.” She explained. “I watched it when it first came out but I’ve been reviewing everything for the show and I haven’t really seen any of the reactions.”

She pulled up the video, muting it and then scrolling through the comments. The top ones were all lovely, and she couldn’t help but smile as she read them. Enya really fits the group. All of the girls look so good and this proves that they can only get more powerful. Been a Mya stan since day one and she’s still killing it. She scrolled through more comments, only being slightly focused on the ones talking about her. They mentioned her rapping, her styling, how she looked at the dance break, and they all seemed very positive, or at least not opposed to her being added to the group.

Until she reached the less popular comments.

And sure, they weren’t as popular and weren’t receiving as many likes, but there were a lot of them.

Why would you add this girl to the group? She adds nothing. Enya was clearly added just to steal lines from a group that already has awful line distribution. We don’t need an X1 reject ruining the girls’ reputation.��

She swallowed, forcing the smile back onto her face as she shoved the phone into her bag. “Well….are we ready to go?”

~time jump~

Their performances went well, and if it hadn’t been for the thoughts bouncing around inside of her head Mya could have easily said that it was the happiest she had ever been with her performance on an award show. But every time they struck the ending pose, or she started to go up for her solo parts, or they waved to the fans after the show, she couldn’t help but wonder how many of them were annoyed that she’d been added to the group.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t expected it. It had happened one hundred times before in kpop and would happen countless more times. Fans grew attached to their groups and didn’t enjoy having them changed, whether it be someone leaving or someone being added. The company had even warned her before the initial announcement, that something like this might happen. Not to mention the fact that she’d dealt with it after Produce as well. People irritated that there was a random girl in a guy’s group, or at least, that was how they saw it. But she’d pushed through it, she knew that she’d earned her place in the group.

But how could she say she earned her place in Everglow? She’d moved to Yuehua at Seungyoun’s request, and they’d immediately suggested she be added because her name was fairly well known. She hadn’t fought her way into the group and she hadn’t trained with these girls since predebut. As welcome as they might make her feel, she was still an outsider. And fans could tell.

“Okay, you have to tell us what’s wrong now.” Jiwon turned around in her seat, staring at her.

“What do you mean?” Mya was startled out of her thoughts. She’d been leaning her face against the window of their van since they left the show fifteen minutes ago, and hadn’t realized that the other girls had been exchanging concerned looks.

“You haven’t smiled since we left the venue.” Mia pointed out.

“I’m just….” She rubbed her arm. “Tired, I guess.”

“We’re all tired. But you were bouncing out of your shoes before we went on stage.” Aisha said. “So what happened?”

Mya gave an awkward laugh. “I mean….It’s our first show together but I’m always like this after performances. I guess I just-“

“You smiled through five AM practices.” Onda protested. “So why aren’t you smiling now? Are you not happy with your debut? With the performance?”

“Come on, Mimi.” Yiren poked her arm lightly. “You can tell us anything.”

Mya sighed. “I just….read some comments about how people feel about me being added to the group. And I’m really sorry that you guys have had to deal with this.”

“Deal with what?” Jiwon exclaimed. “Was it something bad?”

Mya nodded.

“Well, I don’t see why people would be upset.” Sihyeon crossed her arms. “You’re awesome, and there were always rumours that we’d add another member anyways.”

“Yeah, another member, but not a completely random girl that just walked in-“

“Just because you didn’t train with us doesn’t mean you didn’t earn your spot.” Mia reached back to rub her shoulder. “Besides, you’ve been through a lot and you deserve this debut.”

“Still….I’m taking up lines and positions and-“

“You’re in the group now, which means you get those spots.” Jiwon said. “No one forced us to add you to the group. We wanted you.”

“So don’t go being all depressing now.” Yiren leaned her head on her shoulder. “We can’t be friends if you’re going to make me sad all of the time.”

Mya snorted. “Sorry for being such a downer, I guess.”

“Don’t be.” Aisha grinned. “But from now on, only read the nice comments.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I’ll go through tonight and start reporting mean comments.” Onda held up a thumbs up.

“There’s literally hundreds of them.” Mya protested.

“Then I’d better get busy. No one treats my group mate like that if I have anything to say about it.”

Mya smiled. “Thanks guys. I don’t know if I’ve told you yet, but you’re kind of awesome.”

“We know.” Yiren playfully flipped her hair.

“Now perk up, because we have another schedule and need a smiling Enya.” Jiwon held out her hand for a high-five.

Mya smacked her hand against hers. “Roger that, Captain.”

#everglow #everglow au #everglow imagines #everglow 7th imagines #requests open #au #kpop #imagines #imagine #kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop imagine

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buckyswinterbaby · 3 years

Text

Brooklyn Kid — Oneshot

Synopsis: Steve Rogers had always been ready to die for the right cause and saving the world from Thanos and his army seemed like a pretty good way to go. The soldier knew what he had to do. One simple snap, with such a heavy price.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff (platonic), Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (platonic), Steve Rogers x Sam Wilson (platonic), Steve Rogers x Tony Stark (platonic)

Warnings: angst (from literal start to finish), Endgame Alternative Ending, major character death (mentioned and depicted), funerals, grief, mentions of an afterlife.

Word Count: 1,204

Please like, comment, and reblog (I love that shit). Click here to fill out the form to be on my tag list!

Header was created by me, please credit me if you use it.

Note: This is an angst filled one shot I wrote 110% due to pettiness for Steve’s Endgame ending. I wrote it to soothe my own anger, so naturally the only way to do that was with tears. Hope you enjoy it and maybe even cry. 😂

“I am inevitable.”

Thanos raised his hand in the air and made a slow snapping motion. Everyone around sucked in a breath, preparing for the fate that would never come. He turned his head to look at his hand in confusion as nothing changed and no one was turning to dust, only to find the gauntlet had been removed from his hand during his fight with Thor and Captain America.

All eyes turned to Steve’s form, kneeling on the ground as he breathed heavily. The power of the stones started to take over and his skin burned up to his neck as it coursed through his body. The Captain raised his head to look at Thanos, determination clear in his eyes as he spoke, “I don’t like bullies, I don’t care where they come from.” Without hesitation, his fingers snapped and Thanos’ army started to turn to dust before them.

The realization of the defeat sank in as Thanos sat on a large chunk of rubble. He was fully aware of what was happening as he felt his body begin to turn to dust like the rest. It started slowly, moving from his right side to the left before he crumbled apart and blew away in the wind. In that moment, everyone turned to look around to see that they were the only ones left. They had won, but at what cost?

Steve collapsed against the wreckage of the old compound, his breathing came with a bit more difficulty now. The gauntlet and shield remained on his hand and arm with mjolnir resting on the ground near his feet. Tony was the first to make it to his side as he instantly sank to his knees, a hand was placed firmly on Steve’s good shoulder.

“Friday?”

“Life functions critical,” the A.I. replied.

Tony gave Steve a sad smile as he helped his friend take the gauntlet off, setting it on the ground beside him. It wasn’t often that he was left unsure of what to say, this was one of those times. How does one say goodbye to that much history? If the moment wasn’t what it was, Tony may have even laughed at the joke about Steve’s age wrapped in that single thought. “You did good, Cap. We won.”

A few more moments passed before Sam stepped forward to say his goodbyes; but before he could even speak, Steve’s hand reached out to hand him his shield. It was broken from his fight with Thanos but the action still spoke volumes. “Go ahead, try it on.”

“Steve-,” Sam began to protest but stopped when he saw Steve’s tired but reassuring smile. He quietly slid his arm into the leather straps, tightening them a bit to make it fit his arm better before looking down to admire it.

“How does it feel?”

“Like it’s someone else’s.”

“It’s not. You’re a good man, Sam.”

Sam let out a breath as he struggled to maintain his composure. Steve had chosen him in his final moments to carry on the symbol and ideals that Captain America stood for. He was just handed a legacy that he wasn’t sure he could fill but Steve seemed convinced. He looked back at Bucky, who was standing close behind him. Sam stepped aside to let the soldier have his chance.

Bucky knelt down beside his best friend, tears already threatening to spill. “All these years and you’re still just that little kid from Brooklyn who never knew how to walk away from a fight.”

Steve tried to laugh but it only made him wince in pain. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for leaving Bucky. He had fought so hard to get him back, sacrificed everything, and now he had to die just as they were reunited. Steve knew the pain of losing a friend all too well. First with when Bucky fell off the train in 45’ and then again only hours ago when he lost Natasha. He wanted more for his friend, but it seemed he was out of options. The only comfort he found was in knowing that Sam would look out for him and that would just have to be enough.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” Steve stated, his breathing becoming shallower with each word.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky’s voice was caught in his throat as he watched Steve take his final breath, “I’m gonna miss you.” His gloved hand reached out to gently shut Steve’s eyes and his head hung low.

One by one, everyone around them lowered down to a kneeling position facing Steve’s body. It started with Sam as he placed a reassuring hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He was soon followed by the rest of the team. For the first time since the explosion, the battlefield was quiet.

They had the funeral next to the lake behind Tony’s home. It was a smaller gathering, just the friends and family who were closest to the team, along with a few allies like the Wakandan Royal Family. There was a silence that clung in the air as Clint and Bucky both walked down the back porch steps with small arrangements of flowers in their hands. Bucky carried the bouquet for Steve, and Clint carried Natasha’s. The two placed the arrangements in the water and watched them drift out. It felt fitting that Steve and Natasha fought alongside one another to the end, and they now got to find peace together.

There were no more red ledgers or wars that needed a captain. The world was still a dark place, maybe even a bit darker now without them, but it still kept spinning. Their sacrifices were the foundation that the world would rebuild upon and they would never be forgotten. They fought their battles but it was time for them to rest now.

Natasha sat on what seemed to almost be a sandy shore of the soul realm. She wasn’t sure how long she had been there or if anyone else was with her, it was just quiet. She had mixed feelings about the silence. On one hand, it was a nice reprieve from the chaos of the past five or so years, but she still couldn't help but wonder what happened to the rest of the team.

She liked to believe that they succeeded, that life was restored and the world went back to some form of normal, whatever that even means. That Clint got to be reunited with his family and Steve got to see Bucky again. That Tony got to keep his second chance. But optimism was never her strong suit.

Her eyebrows furrowed a bit as she heard what sounded like footsteps approaching her. She looked over in the direction the sound came from and she saw an old friend.

“Hey, Nat.”

“Steve?” The assassin rose to her feet, fully turning to face him now.

“We won.”

Natasha shook her head as she stepped closer. “You were supposed to get a life. What are you doing here?”

Steve smiled simply, pulling his friend into a hug, one that felt like he never planned on letting go.

“I didn’t want you to be alone.”

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years

Text

Holding Out for a Hero- Steve Rogers x Reader Pt.11 (epilogue)

a/n- Hey lovely people! I am so frustrated for taking like 3 weeks to upload this last one, but it was just hard to say goodbye to it I guess. Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked or reblogged - going through this journey with you was amazing! Song lyrics are in bold. Enjoy <3

part 10

"Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need!"

You and Julie sang in sync into the microphones in your hands. Well, maybe screamed would be a better word, but the guys didn't seem to care. Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch, Bucky with a phone in his hand filming you while Steve simply laughed heartily as you and Jules sang.

You were in the compound's karaoke room, because apparently Tony Stark thinks of literally everything when he plans a building like the Avengers compound. You were thrilled when you found this place, showing it to Julia. Together, you convinced the boys to come with you on a double date to karaoke. Well, it was more like the two of you singing and them laughing and filming you, but you were having a great time.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight"

You tossed your hair while you sang, gesturing theatrically with your body as Jules did the same next to you.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure And it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life!"

You looked into Steve's eyes as you sang the cheesy song, smiling widely at him. His eyes twinkled, head tossed back in laughter, and his look reflected how you felt - perfectly happy.

Steve and you were going stronger than ever, and so were Bucky and Jules. After a year of dating, Bucky proposed to Julia. You looked over at her, the ring sparkling on her hand that clutched the microphone. She looked so free. Julie often reminded you of a lioness in the way she carried herself, her proud and cheeky personality shining through in her stunning smile. You were glad she finally found her lion. Bucky was filming with a smile on his lips. Around Julia, his laugh was getting easier and easier as time went on, and you were glad to see them make each other happy like this.

Steve was watching you and laughing so hard he looked like he was going to fall out of his seat. You winked at him as you continued your song and he smiled and shook his head playfully at your antics. You felt your love for him shining in your heart, so bright you could burst. You never wasted a chance to express your love to one another. Whether it was words – when you woke up, when you went to sleep, when you were going or returning from a mission or anything in between – or acts, Steve always made you feel loved. Little notes saying "went to train, be back soon, xo" were a common occurrence with you two, and so were hugs, kisses and cuddles. Even as a year of your relationship was close by, you couldn't get enough of each other, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Knowing Steve was a great privilege – you don’t often come by a person who's so smart, kind, funny, and emotionally supportive, and also is Captain America. But loving Steve was a gift you didn’t know if you deserved, but were thankful for every waking moment. Loving Steve was like eating ice cream in the summer, a cozy blanket when it's raining outside, and petting a cute dog all at once. Steve was your safe place, your hero really. Not a day went by that you didn't cherish him in, and the same was the other way around. You fit like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. If a year ago someone would have told you that you were going to date Captain America, you would've laughed in their face. But you were, and there was nothing that could've made you happier.

You finished the song and collapsed dramatically onto Steve's lap, laughing. "Can you get me some water please?" you pouted playfully. "That was a hell of a performance, so yeah, sure." he chuckled. "My hero," you winked as he went away to grab a glass of water, laughing.

Later that evening, you were all sitting in an Italian restaurant, the very same one where you and Steve had your first date. You were all laughing and talking over each other, enjoying the excellent food and even better company. Your dessert arrived, an absolutely delicious looking tiramisu. You were about to dig in before you noticed a sparkle between the cream layers. You prodded it with your spoon, taking in out and discovering a silver diamond ring. You gasped, turning to Steve, who was looking just as puzzled as you felt. You raised your brow at him, and he quickly shook his head. You felt a pang of disappointment. You and Steve never really talked about getting married, but based on Jules and Bucky's engagement, you anticipated a ring coming to you very soon. Apparently, Steve didn't share the sentiment, you noticed as you took in his seemingly mortified face. You swallowed your disappointment and smiled as you called for your waitress.

"There was a ring in the tiramisu that's not ours," you explained to the embarrassed waitress.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! We must have mixed it up with table 4, the poor guy must not understand what's happening. Maybe he thinks his boyfriend swallowed the ring," she chuckled nervously. "Anyway, I'm very sorry and we'll bring you another one shortly, on the house." She smiled at all of you and took away the tiramisu and the ring. Jules, Bucky and Steve were quick to laugh it off, returning to their conversation, but you just couldn't focus. The ring sent you down a very immersive train of thought, about you and Steve and how he might not want to get married, or he doesn’t want to get married to you.

You remained quiet throughout the ride back to the compound, contemplating your insecurities. No one seemed to notice.

You got back to the compound and jumped out of the car. "Good night guys, I think I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm pretty tired." You tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

"But we wanted to watch a movie," Jules complained. Bucky's arm was wrapped around her, a united front.

"Well you guys should go ahead, I'm gonna go as well," Steve said, taking your hand in his. He smiled and you returned his smile. Your sadness started to fade into the background, as if telling you that you could deal with it tomorrow. But right now, with Steve's hand holding yours, you felt your heart swell with love. Jules and Bucky were already ahead, but you and Steve took your time, walking slowly into the building and the elevator.

When you got to your floor, you saw a trail of rose petals from the elevator door. You sent Steve a quizzical look, but he shrugged and smiled, squeezing your hand in his. You followed the trail all the way to your room, smiling at Steve before opening the door.

In front of you was a sea of flowers, and you run to smell them, leaving Steve's hand. You noticed Jules and Bucky were also there, smiling widely. You sent them a puzzled smile before you turned around to thank Steve for the flowers, and you found him on one knee, holding a little black box in his hands. Oh.

You gasped, your eyes immediately welling up. "Steve?" you asked, a small smile forming on your lips. For the entire night, you've been thinking about how Steve's eyebrows furrowed when he saw the ring. You thought it was because he'd never thought about getting you a ring, that he hadn’t wanted to. Apparently, it was just because some random mix-up beat him to it.

Steve looked up at you, his eyes shining as well. "Hey sweetheart," he chuckled in response to your question. "You know, before I caught you that day when you jumped from the elevator, I was thinking about how the new recruits are gonna be, how are they gonna find their place around here. And then you landed right into my arms, and you were so pretty I couldn't help but think your place should be there, in my arms, all of the time." He was beaming up at you now.

"Smooth," you couldn't help but comment as you beamed back down at him.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "And then I got to see just pretty wasn't enough to describe you. You are overwhelmingly beautiful, inside and out. You're strong, and smart, and funny. And I thought I could never deserve having you in my arms. You were a shining star and all I could do was watch from the earth as you soared through the sky." Tears started to fall from your eyes as you smiled at him. "But then I jumped; I jumped and you were willing to catch me. Maybe not to be in my arms the entire time, but to hold my hand. And I have never been luckier. I love you," he took a deep breath, "more than words can describe. So, will you make me the luckiest guy in the universe once more and hold my hand forever?" he popped open the box, revealing the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, "Will you marry me?"

You nodded your head so quickly you thought your neck would snap, but fortunately, it didn't. You knelt down next to Steve, wrapping your hands around his neck. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes," you smiled, accentuating each yes with a kiss – to his cheeks, to his nose.

He grinned at you and drew away, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto your finger. "I love you, Steve," you touched your forehead to his. "I love you too," he replied, kissing you gently yet passionately, making you feel so loved like only he knew how to. You put your hands on his cheeks, feeling the ring on your finger prominently. You smiled into the kiss, breaking apart but staying close to each other, breathing the same air.

"Congratulations!" you heard a shout from across the room. You turned your head, smiling. You were so focused on Steve's speech you had forgotten Jules and Bucky were still there. Jules' eyes were shining with unshed tears and Bucky was smiling from ear to ear, their phones in their hands. Bucky came forward to clap Steve on the shoulder and embrace him tightly before hugging you, whispering in your ear, "he'd get you the moon if you told him to."

"He's my sun," you whispered back. You pulled apart, smiling at each other, understanding you both love this punk more than anything. Jules hugged Steve, whispering something you couldn't make out into his ear, and then came to you, wrapping her arms around you in a crushing bear hug. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered, her voice wavering with emotion. "Thank you," you whispered back.

"Oh, the pictures!" Jules exclaimed before she reached for her phone. She opened it to reveal a stunning picture of you and Steve; your hands cupping his face, foreheads touching. "Jules," you smiled and but your lip, getting emotional over the beautiful moment she captured perfectly.

Soon Bucky and Jules left you to your own to celebrate, and you did, your night filled with declarations of love and delicate touches.

And years later, the picture was hanging off the wall of Steve's and your house, adorned in a golden frame. You were lucky enough to marry your hero, and love him more and more every day for the rest of your lives.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers x Female Reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #avengers imagine #avenger!reader #MCU fic #avengers #bucky barnes #original character

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jonismitchell · 4 years

Text

FOLKLORE THIRD LISTEN NOTES

the 1

how awesome is it to have been right about this song being about the one who got away?

it sets up a very romantic theme for the album and i don’t know how to explain it

i really love this production it’s very dreamy and tailored (don’t make the pun) to my interests

the verses on this song and the imagery they evoke are perfect god

the way this feels so hard feelings esque… the bus line and yeah

can we discuss “the greatest loves of all time are over now”

i think the only opener that beats this for me is state of grace?

persist and resist the temptation…

okay the more i listen to this the more i’m convinced it’s taylor reflecting on everything that happened in this album years later and reminiscing one day (don’t make the pun)

her vocals on this are so soothing i don’t know how to explain it

cardigan

i was really afraid i wouldn’t like this because of the title but i love it

the imagery really reminds me of poetry can we have folklore poems

i think it’s the chorus (starts with dancing in your levi’s) that i really adore

a friend to all is a friend to none taylor swift said if you are neutral in situations of injustice you have taken the side of the oppressor (no joke this is what i thought of the first time)

“heartbeat on the high line once in twenty lifetimes” might be my favourite lyric

the music video says so much about the album as a whole in terms of the pain

TO KISS IN CARS AND DOWNTOWN BARS WAS ALL WE NEEDED??? excuse me that’s literally a perfect lyric

the train comment this has such a gothic romance feel to it and i love the line peter losing wendy

when you are young they assume you know nothing maybe that’s my favourite lyric

CAUSE I KNEW EVERYTHING WHEN I WAS YOUNG no one talk to me

the front porch line has possible parallels to mad woman?

okay but if this isn’t narrated by betty i’ll eat my own foot

i feel like the hook has real potential to be cheesy / childish but she avoids it so well bless

also the production on this song? a literal dream. she picked the style of production i like best i swear to god thank you miss swift

the last great american dynasty

the beginning of this sounds a bit like 929 to me, but it’s very unique from the first two songs on the album and i like it a lot

okay but the storytelling in this first part of this song is unparalleled

she sounds like the town gossip and you know what? i love it

this is also a really dance-able song to me

blaming the woman… how victorian esque

the chorus is flawless from the lyrics to the vocals to the beat i really love that beat! is that a drum i don’t know music

taylor swift said bitch good for her

the way she says “boys” is really neat

“and losing on card game bets” vs “back when we were card sharks playing games i thought you were leading me on” literally no one is allowed to look at me

again i was dancing to this hard on the first listen because it’s amazing and i’m also seeing the lucky one / starlight vibes but it’s better than both those songs? how does she do it

AND THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME??? i lost my mind?? also this reinforces my water as authenticity theory because she references midnight sea whatever i’ll expand later

i had a marvelous time ruining everything,,, maybe she’s the narrator maybe she’s betty like elizabeth taylor burton to this taylor,,,

her voice in this song is seriously amazing

exile ft. bon iver

this feels like a natural sequel to the last time but it has huge getaway car vibes thematically

okay a lot of people have said this is a haylor song but i see it as taylor’s evelyn hugo fanfiction and you can’t change my mind on that

she put a whole man on this song and it’s still super gay

also i don’t mind bon iver’s voice as much as gary lightbody but still gah (also i had no idea who he was before this album that’s on being born in 2005

)i think i’ve seen this film before but i didn’t like the ending… don’t know why this line hits so hard but it literally does no one touch me

the ooh vocalizations are really cool i am again obsessed with the production

god i just love the lyrics on this so much can you guys believe how amazing

i just want to discuss how this entire thing is evelyn hugo fanfictionso i’m leaving out the side door is thematically important to the album i don’t know how to explain this right now but i’m sure i’m right about this

walked a very thin line vs literally all of mirrorball

i gave so many signs no one touch me! we only know the version of someone they have chosen to show us! there will be no more explanation there will just be reputation

the homeland defending line is amazing i can’t get myself together apparently“i’ve seen this film before so i’m leaving out the side door” maybe the best lyric

the outro for this song is literally flawless i just want to ask taylor what was going through her mind when she made this album please

this song is so sad i don’t even want to discuss it i just want to cry

my tears ricochet

love her getting some sat vocab in spelling really is fun

the intro for this song is so pretty i love

if i’m on fire you’ll be made of ashes too vs the room is on fire invisible smoke

when i said taylor was painting herself as one of the heroes that die all alone i wasn’t kidding!

the way she says loved on this song is really appealing to me

this being the track five makes me super emotional i love this song

i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,,, you’re the hero flying around saving face,,, if i’m dead to you why are you at the wake,,,, god these lyrics just cut super hard okay!

i feel super personally called out by this goddamn song…

some to throw… some to make a diamond ring after the marriage fanfare

what a ghostly scene / i pace like a ghost

the concept of angrily haunting your past lover because they screwed you over is so amazing

used to tell me i was brave because i fought you

i think this is our first properly angry track five since like dear john and i want to put my head on the desk and start sobbing but i won’t

the halloween vibes of this are sending me this is so perfect

“i’m screaming at the sky” “stolen lullaby” amazing lyrics and also her vocals i don’t want to talk about how emotionally attached i am to this album because i am

so the battleships will sink beneath the waves again i think this song is really personal

the way she sings and the lyrics have a really specific effect i will be crying over

this song is so good. it’s so good. track five supremacy.can we discuss how perfect the production is on the album i think we should

mirrorball

yet more perfect production? she’s really feeding me with this one

after ithk and lwymmd i was not expecting to be so obsessed with track 6 but what a pleasant surprise. like i initially liked ithk too but not like this (don’t make the pun)

again i am so upset by the lyrics

the hush…. i think she invented singing

god the chorus is so specific and so very taylor that i could cry like!! yes!! this is what it’s all about no one touch me seriously i mean it this time

masquerade revelers means something and it’s a beautiful visual too man she really stepped up her songwriting with this album

this whole song feels like something directly out of a dream

THE BRIDGE? BRIDGE CITY? I AM THE RODEO CLOWNS? THE TIGHTROPE? I’M STILL A BELIEVER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHY? THE VOCALS? THE LAYERED SINGING? DON’T TALK TO ME

i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight means something and i will cry

seven

this means the most to me really i just… this is for the kids who were victims of something bigger than them and i don’t want to cry but i think i just might for personal reasons

i again really love the production thanks for my rights miss swift

the half speaking really works for me this time (and this song is closeted teenager rights)

passed down like folk songs,,, i have emotions and i finally learned how to pronounce folk

and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why these lyrics are flawless and stunning and god. yeah. this song y’all

will you run away with me? yes. you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet what did i say!! closeted teenager anthem i’m tatttooing this on my forehead

i used to scream ferociously and that whole lyric might be my favourite part

again her vocals are an absolute dream i love the higher register

i still got love for you,,, this is really about childhood love and the way it fades but leaves an indelible mark goodbye i am done i can’t deal with this

i would listen to karaoke of this on its own because the background music is so perfect

taylor swift saw me listening to the japanese house and girl in red and said “hey i can do that” and you know what? she could!

august

okay so before we start this listen i want to say this song made me hyperventilate and almost cry at one in the morning which was great like. i wanted a song that made me feel as much as say it by maggie rogers and taylor swift said “okay bet”

that being said i really do love this intro i feel it’s very beautiful and it reminds me of white teeth teens a bit i can’t explain why

this is the lowkey version of cruel summer and it is equally gay

never have i ever before,,, taylor said i will romanticize being a teenager in love and it will be the most beautiful album you have ever heard in your life

i can see us lost in the memory just the way she sings the chorus is so beautiful

honestly this makes me feel like i’m sitting in a field which i think is the vibe taylor wanted to accomplish with lover but hey

her cruel summers and augusts were the equivalent of my january huh

this is the sad ending for cruel summer this is when she looked up and said “yeah you being in love with me is the worst thing i’ve ever heard” no one talk to me ever again

“back when we were still changing for the better / wanting was enough” is an absolutely perfect lyric i don’t want anyone to speak to me for the next year

“to live for the hope of it all / cancelled plans just in case you called / and say meet me behind the mall / so much for summer love” that was amazing that was perfect thank you

“you were mine to lose”

i love this chorus so much it’s unreal it’s just wow

august sipped away like a bottle of wine CAUSE YOU WERE NEVER MINE

i don’t even know what lyric to type up because they’re all so good and they evoke such a specific feeling i feel like i was punched in the gut

have i mentioned how much i love this production yet? i love this production

isn’t this outro just the most stunning thing you’ve ever heard wow

this is me trying

such a change of pace in terms of production and yet i am completely enamoured by it

the intro is so beautiful and the way she just transitions into a song so viscerally about her insecurities i... i refuse to do this damnit

this is apologizing for cheating but it was on her this time (no i don’t think taylor actually cheated on anyone it’s called storytelling and i feel this is one of the songs farther from her than the others)

for some reason the background music reminds me of pure heroine?

lyrically and thematically it sounds like the archer and wow can’t tell you how much i adore that

favourite lyric: i got wasted like all my potential

the curve became a sphere,,,, this is just such a good and honest and raw song how does she do it i’m asking how does she do it

i really love the melody of this thing i don’t know what to tell you

it’s so upset and emotional but resigned in a sense? i can’t really properly describe this

again this is bridge city! i don’t know if i’ve said this before but the bridge for this song is truly impeccable her ability to do this astounds me like the songwriting alone y’all

i really do love the background beat

illicit affairs

the visuals and the imagery and the storyline of this song are so perfect and damn i can just see the music video (i maintain this is by the same narrator as august)

you’ll be flushed when you return do you see what i mean by perfect visuals?

the way her voice pitches up and the high notes

who allowed the chorus to be this amazing i’ve listened to it like ten times now and my eye still twitches (should i get that checked out?)

i would like to repeat that this is an extremely gay song thank you taylor

a dwindling mercurial high is such a good line ugh i love the imagery again

clandestine meetings and stolen stares,, our secret moments in a crowded room,,,

maybe the perfume thing could build off the water theme?

the bridge of this thing goddamn wow i can’t believe

YOU SHOWED ME COLOURS YOU KNOW I CAN’T SEE WITH ANYONE ELSE

she’s on a cliff screaming in anger because the affair destroyed her!! august + illicit affairs are the same narrator and this is me trying is the person she was with,,, actually i think this is me trying might be about the other person apologizing to the narrator of august + illicit affairs,,,,

you taught me a secret language you know i can’t speak with anyone else vs. do all lovers feel like they’re inventing something do you ever just sit on the floor and cry

for you i would ruin myself a million times,,, evelyn hugo quote about screaming i’m in love with celia st james,,, death by a thousand cuts,,,, yes it’s fine everything is fine

invisible string

ahhh the pizzicato! that’s beautiful that’s really on point she really said strings kids rights huh

i really do like this production and the way it contributes to this idyllic image of her childhood whew i love this song a lot

ugh the melody of the pre chorus is so lovely we have to stan

all along there was an invisible string,,, tying you to me,,, okay now i am mildly intrigued by how much of this was autobiographical goddamnit there will be no more explanation

bad was the blood… that’s so cute! she said i looked like an american singer! no one touch me

wow her vocals on this song are so lovely and the lyrics! aren’t the lyrics just flat out amazing we have to stan taylor swift i think

string that pulled me and there are musicians pulling strings in the background okay i see you

that dive bar,,, dive bar on the east side,,, we love a consistent muse (also met you in a bar)

oh yes i do really like this bridge too it’s so romantic and wonderful perfect

an axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart? i think she should be allowed to do that as a treat

the hell / heaven reference thanks for another religious metaphor to add to my collection

her vocals on this song are so unique and i also like them a lot my eye is twitching again

maybe i got my track eleven rights back didn’t it! i really hope this is track 11 otherwise i’m going to look like a clown (no i don’t want to google it)

the outro is so soothing and beautiful i think i hear a violin

mad woman

the piano! hearing real instruments on taylor songs again! we are so blessed

i think this is narrated by the same woman from the last great american dynasty honestly

maybe also by the august / illicit affairs narrator trying to get revenge my mind okay

every time you call me crazy i get more crazy ugh i love this! women straight up going unhinged i see you with your gone girl fanfiction miss swift

the way this song feels like a whispered confession and her vocals and the eerie nature of the background music we have absolutely no choice but to stan

now i breathe flames every time i talk is a really amazing visual

this feels like a better done version of i did something bad i said what i said

it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together - i love that line! i love unhinged taylor swift! blank space and idsb mashed together with a new feel i can’t put my finger on but i am quite literally obsessed with it

every time you call me crazy i get more crazy yeah that’s a line

there really isn’t anything like a mad woman (also this is intentionally linked to the last great american dynasty and i won’t shut up about this now)

the bridge is so intimidating and delightful! hell hath no fury like a scorned woman wow the visuals i see in my head are amazing

good wives always know taylor this is a better criticism of the patriarchy than the man is i just want you to know that from me personally

the outro is amazing there’s definitely some sort of snare drum here (i don’t know instruments again)

epiphany

it did not click that this song was about the pandemic the first time i listened to it

but honestly i am so obsessed with this intro it reminds me of the archer a little bit

i think this is paralleling war with the pandemic

ease your rifle and the accompanying vocal is so well song

okay the beaches reference is helping my water and authenticity thing

some things you just can’t speak about yeah i will lose my mind for personal reasons

this song is really comforting for some weird reason

something med school did not cover feels like an actual punch to the gut. someone’s daughter, someone’s mother… okay. okay i didn’t get this the first time but i am upset now.

and some things you just can’t speak about is a line and a half i think

it’s really just so beautiful and it’s hurting me

what’s the significance of twenty? she keeps referencing it and in lover too

but wow the bridge is otherworldly i love it so much… her mind amazes me

watch you breathe in… watch you breathe in…. please it’s so beautiful i can’t

actually this song might be one of my favourites it’s so good (of course i’ve thought that about all the songs so take this comment with a grain of salt please)

the outro is also super heavenly do i hear strings again?

betty

so we’re all in agreement this is gay

the beginning sounds so country and that’s her beginning and this is about a high school love

you can’t believe a word she says (most times) is so fun and cute i can’t believe i got rights handed to me on a silver platter with this one

the storyline she implies in the chorus it’s literally so beautiful i just have a lot of feelings! i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate!

this feels like a quintessential taylor swift song with the characterizations and the lyrics and how it feels ripped out of a diary entry (yes i know it isn’t but that’s how it feels )

do i hear a fiddler? emily poe is that you? not the point i know

BUT IF I JUST SHOWED UP AT YOUR PARTY man the chorus really does snap

taylor swift said fuck 2020 god bless america we’re officially moving into a good timeline

on broken cobblestones is all of my rights encapsulated into one don’t touch me

this is just gay james is a lesbian i don’t make the rules i just enforce them please

betty i’m here on your doorstep LIKE IN THIS IS ME TRYING BETTY IS THE AUGUST / ILLICIT AFFAIRS / MAD WOMAN / CARDIGAN / THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY NARRATOR

the narrator of betty is the same as this is me trying no one talk anymore

WILL YOU HAVE WILL YOU LOVE ME WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS THE MOMENT OF EMOTIONAL CATHARSIS I EXPERIENCED

i’m only seventeen i don’t know anything and the way it explicitly connects to cardigan

car again / cardigan is some nice wordplay

this is an objectively perfect song

peace

the opening music for this track is really lovely, it feels like a good return to lowkey after how Much betty was honestly

our coming of age has come and gone is one of the best opening lines i’ve ever heard

i’ve never had courage in my convictions won’t you look at what a great lyric that is

no i can never give you peace,,, man i really do like this hook

the production on this song is amazing

i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm! the ocean wave line helps my authenticity theory! they say love’s for show but i would die for you in secret! is this a song or a series of excerpts from my poetry the world may never know (i’m kidding i could never write anything this good)

would it be enough if i could never give you peace no one look at me i can’t be perceived any more than this

it’s like i’m wasting your honour wow what a line that is especially after exile but then the narratives don’t exactly match up hold i’m thinking

swing with you for the fences (i know places) sit with you in the trenches (epiphany) i feel like there’s something to referencing those songs directly after each other

oh.. the child line…. oh?

i’m a clown to the north does that count

man this song is so good and it gives me serious call it what you want vibes for some reason

but i would die for you in secret i feel like this bears repeating cause i’ll scream

would it be enough,,,, am i too much,,,, i would like to lie down

the outro to this is so pretty and haunting and thematically it kind of reminds me of dwoht / afterglow but that’s just me

hoax

i wrote hoax lyrics pre album but hers are much better

my smoking gun,,, knife to a gunfight,,, the way,,, man

okay a depressing song to close out a taylor album is new and im going to lose my mind

i really love the piano in the background like that’s beautiful

the confessions screaming on the cliff vibe i was right

YOUR FAITHLESS LOVE’S THE ONLY HOAX I BELIEVE IN

no other sadness in the world would do well that is a depressing ending to seeing daylight

my best laid plans / my sleight of hand / my barren land she’s literally such an amazing songwriter why is anyone allowed to have this level of talent and not pay appropriate taxes

THE ASH FROM YOUR FIRE IS THIS THE PARALLEL TO MY TEARS RICOCHET? i think i cracked something here wow

YOU KNOW I LEFT A PART OF ME BACK IN NEW YORK PLEASE EXPLAIN

the hero died so what’s the movie for i’m fine this is all very fine can you hear me screaming

you knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score i really think this is the other half of my tears ricochet you guys

her voice and the production combined here is so haunting

my only one my kingdom come undone can we just have a mental breakdown super quickly and collectively so i know i’m not really losing my mind

i really love this song a lot wow

the piano harmonies / melodies are so pretty (i don’t know which one it is sue me)

it’s perfect wow

#arden speaks #folklore #folklore reaction #taylor swift #this is over four thousand words

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marvels-writings · 4 years

Note

Can you please do one where reader proposes to Maria Hill through the comms while reader is on a mission. Thinking reader wasn't serious Maria responds with "Only if you come back completely unharmed" which makes reader try extra hard. Reader proposes again in person. Thank you ☺

A/N: I’m not sure if this was gender neutral or not but imma make it gender neutral bc im not sure. Also, not that anyone wanted to know, my exams are going really well. Like my english exam had like 5 essays in like 2 hours but i finished it and im really happy with myself. Major self confidence boost. Anyway, here’s the drabble

“Maria it was supposed to be date night.” You whined, sitting on your shared bed with Maria. You fidgeted with the torn sleeves of your hoodie as you waited for a response. She’d just informed you Fury had given all of them a last minute mission. You had bigger plans for tonight, your plans included wedding rings and romance, not guns and avengers.

The two of you had been together for about 3 years now, you knew Maria wasn’t going to be the first to propose, considering she hadn’t been the first to anything. Not that you minded, she was a bit scared of rejection, despite the tough persona she has for everyone else.

“Supposed to,” She stated, trying to find something in the closet. “Apparently Fury has other plans for you.”

Maria was clearly pissed off, the two of you always were on any last minute mission. But this time, she seemed more pissed off than usual. It took you second to register the last word she said.

“Wait, just me?” You asked as Maria threw your suit on the bed angrily. You glanced down at it, it was thankfully washed this time.

“Just you, Romanoff, Barton and Rogers.” She stated, sitting down between you and your suit. “I’m monitoring the mission this time.”

Groaning, you flopped down on the bed, your arms coming up to support your head. Maria laid down on the bed, propping her head up on one elbow and looking down at you.

“You’ll be fine.” She comforted, you looked at her. Even though she was visibly pissed off, she could see you were scared and tried to comfort you.

“I know,” You muttered, then looked back at the ceiling. “I’ll just miss our romantic date night.”

“I’ll miss your sappiness too.” She remarked, then shifted to face the ceiling. You lightly nudged her ribs with your elbow as she laughed.

“Love you,” She chuckled. Even though she had said this to you a thousand times before, it always made your heart skip a beat, as cheesy as it might sound.

“Love you too,” You replied.

You really did, but you couldn’t help your anxiety starting to eat away at you. What if she said no when you asked her. You really did want to marry her, but you were scared she didn’t feel the same.

However, your anxiety was calmed by two things. One, her hands combing gently through your hair. Second, you had the same feelings before you asked her out and she said yes.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“I definitely would’ve preferred date night over this!” You shouted over comms, trying to run back to the quinjet but HYDRA agents somehow kept coming out of nowhere. The mission had been simple, go in, get intel, get out, nothing more. But it had evolved into a whole mess of capturing the flag. Currently, Nat and Clint had the flag and were in the jet, waiting for you and Steve.

“y/n get back here!” Steve yelled at you over the comms.

3 people had the flag, 1 rogue soldier.

“I’m working on it!” You replied angrily, running as hard as you could.

HYDRA soldiers behind you, quinjet in a currently unknown position, a wedding box in your pocket as bullets whizzed past you. Officially the weirdest combination of the year.

“You’re not working hard enough!” Maria joined in in the yelling contest.

“Clearly,” You muttered, hiding behind a tree last minute. “Incase I don’t make it to our next romantic date.”

“Don’t you dare talk like that.” Maria threatened, you could hear the pain in her voice as the two of you knew you could actually die out here.

You could actually die, never see Maria again, never get the chance to propose, never know the answer. The suspense was more motivating than anything at this point.

HYDRA agents were running into the woods, passing the small tree you were hiding behind. Thankfully, none of them had bothered to turn around yet.

You had one gun, one knife, and one wedding ring. The wedding ring wasn’t helping motivate you enough. Deciding to boost the motivation, you started fidgeting with it.

“Just in case though,” You whispered, completely out of breath and interrupting whatever advice the rest of the team was giving you. “Maria, as sappy as I am, I love you, will you marry me?”

“Worst time y/l/n.” Steve commented.

“Agreed.” Nat stated.

Maria hadn’t answered yet, your anxiety was starting to get the better of you as your breathing rate increased.

“Of all the times now?! Seriously?!” Clint yelled.

Still no response from Maria.

Your eyes darted around nervously as you put the gun on your shoulder, preparing for a ‘daring’ escape plan.

“Only if you come back completely unharmed.” She answered, you grinned in response.

Comms went out shortly after that, you needed to get the battery fixed by Stark.

That was just the motivation you needed. Now, you had a gun, a knife, a ring and a promise, you thought it was enough to make it out alive.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

And somehow you did, not COMPLETELY unharmed, you did the best you could. You had a bullet wound in your right side but you’d been patched up by everyone before you got to the compound to see Maria. It still hurt, but it could only get better.

“Is it possible for you to stop smiling?” Natasha asked, sitting next to you and handing you a glass of water.

“Nope.” You answered, after chugging the entire glass, it spilled slightly as the jet landed.

“She just got married, you can’t expect her to be sad.” Steve remarked, leaning against the cockpit of the jet as the doors opened.

“I said completely unharmed.”

You whipped your head around to see Maria standing there, a mixture of happiness, sass and worry on her face. Smirking in response, you got up, holding your hand near the bullet wound. “I did my best.” You said, trying to keep your voice strong despite the literal hole in your side.

Maria rolled her eyes, and walked towards you, maybe to hug you, unsure and uncaring, you got down on one knee, ignoring the stinging pain in your side. You saw her eyes widen, your smirk grew even further but it turned into a grimace thanks to the bullet wound.

There goes the romantic moment.

“Maria, now that I’m out mostly unharmed,” you began, causing Maria to laugh slightly. “Excuse my sappiness but, I love you with, with all my heart, and if you can tolerate my sappiness and my flaws, I want you to be my wife.” You opened the small, navy blue velvet box with the last words.

Maria covered her mouth with one hand, maybe to hide a smile, hold back a sob, you won’t ever know, you were barely able to stay on your knee with the pain blooming in your side.

“Any minute now,” You muttered, Maria laughed and nodded.

“Yes, I’ll marry the queen/king of cliches” She joked, you were about to get up.

You couldn’t, not without help at least. The pain in your side was a bit too much for you to get up by yourself.

“Could you, um could you come so I could put the ring on?” You asked, Maria looked confused but complied.

You grinned as you put the ring on her finger, she grinned back at you. It was supposed to be the perfect moment, a newly engaged couple, the person who just got proposed to was crying of happiness, the person who proposed couldn’t stop grinning, everyone around them was smiling and about to clap.

Usually, the perfect moment didn’t have the person proposing with a bullet wound. There goes the romanticness of it down the drain.

“As much as I love this almost perfect moment, I can’t get up without help.” You confessed, Maria laughed through the small tear falling down her cheek.

Maria offered her other hand and helped you get up. You hugged her the second you got up, people were clapping instantly. She hugged you back, cautious of your bullet wound but happy nonetheless.

A/N: GENUINELY LOVED WRITING THIS. I actually started laughing really hard while writing this. Thanks for the amazing request, and feedback is amazing!!!

#avengers #avengers x you #avengers x reader #avengers one shot #maria hill #maria hill x you #maria hill x reader #maria hill one shot #cobie smulders #cobie smulders x you #cobie smulders x reader #cobie smulders one shot #my writing #my fiction #loved writing this

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et-lesailes · 5 years

Text

missing linc // chapter one

pairing: ceo!steve x reader

word count: 2670

series summary: you are a college student working at a daycare full time during your summer break, and you have grown especially fond of one of the toddlers in your class, lincoln rogers. you are certainly not expecting to develop such a huge crush on his dad steve when you meet him for the first time, but you can’t help but be attracted to the businessman– despite the fact that he’s married. however, as intelligent and mature as steve comes across, he has a few secrets behind his marriage- one in particular he may never be able to make up for.

series themes: romance, drama, age gap, infidelity, smut in later chapters

chapter summary: reader meets steve rogers for the first time.

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @honeyloverogers, @capsiclesdoll, @qrndevans, @mcueveryday, @drkstrangeson

note: tbh this is inspired from my real life job at a daycare except the only difference is that nothing has happened yet from my crush on a hot dad but heY who knows what the future holds!!!

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to the taglist! also shoutout to @thewritingdoll for the graphic!

You exhaled loudly as you finally got a moment to relax, one of the program support staff of the daycare currently covering for you so you could go to the bathroom.

You absolutely loved working with kids and were striving to be in the field of developmental psychology one day-- but for now, while you were still working on your bachelor’s degree, working at a daycare where you could at least observe and work with kids and their development would have to do. You loved every second of it, but it was certainly exhausting taking care of eighteen toddlers. Thankfully, you had the help of other toddler teachers; there was no way you could have done it yourself.

You had only just recently switched to working full days; now that it was summer vacation, you could work from 9 to 6 as a closer rather than only going for a few hours here and there before or after your classes. It was your third day of working full time, and while it was a lot, you were still happy with the job.

You felt especially attached to one of your toddlers. Lincoln Rogers, or more commonly referred to as Linc, was a bright, happy, and cheeky boy, and although he had his naughty moments, he just had so much personality you could not help but be in love. He seemed to be especially fond of you too, constantly following you around, liking to cling to you, and even crying when you left for your lunch break.

He had blonde hair, shining blue eyes, and was quite big for being only eighteen months old; he practically looked like a two-year-old already, what with his head full of hair and his adorable clothes. He often wore cute little polos and colored shorts or cool, dark “jeans”, only of course, made more comfortable than actual denim in order to better suit a child.

You had only ever seen his mother, Tiana, drop him off and pick him up, and based on her appearance, it seemed like the boy had inherited a majority of his looks from his father. She had chestnut brown hair and matching eyes, and was on the more petite side compared to her son who was probably in the 95th percentile for his height. She seemed nice enough, always polite with you and thanking you for taking care of him, but you could see that she always seemed so tired, so stressed. Was it work? Personal problems? Did it have to do with why Dad was never picking up? For obvious reasons, you could not ask these things, but being so attached to Linc, you wish you knew just to satisfy your intrusive curiosity.

It had been about a week into your new schedule when you would finally meet Dad, and the day of, before you even knew anything about it, the staff was absolutely buzzing. When your co-teacher, Stephanie, walked into the room that morning wearing a slightly low cut shirt, you glanced at her chest before looking to her, eyebrow raised in amusement. “What?” she asked defensively, giggling. “Yesterday at pick up, Linc’s mom said that Dad is dropping off this morning. I know you haven’t met this man yet, but trust me, he is gorgeous.” You were immediately intrigued. Not because of his apparent good looks (okay, maybe slightly because of his apparent good looks), but because you would finally be able to place a face to the father figure in Linc’s life, the little boy who you practically saw as your own baby. In as non-creepy of a way as possible. “What’s he like?” you asked curiously, simultaneously keeping your eye on the few children in the room that had been dropped off early. “He’s only a literal God,” another teacher scoffed as she walked in, having overheard your question. “We are talking about Steve, right?”

“Brittany, you’re not even a toddler teacher,” you said to her with an amused laugh, arching an eyebrow. “What are you doing in this room and why are you on a first name basis with his dad?”

“Leanna is with the preschoolers, I don’t need to be there too!” she defended herself playfully before fanning herself in an exaggerated lustful gesture. “Before you worked here, I would help out in the toddler room sometimes. I only knew Tiana then, but she asked if I could babysit this one time. When I went over, I met Steve- they were both getting ready to go on a date or something. And Y/N, let me tell you,” she paused, letting out a whistle, “this man is beautiful. Linc’s a little replica of him- the blond hair, blue eyes, and he’s so tall. Probably slightly over six feet.” You listened in awe, cocking your head. “How come he never usually drops him off or picks him up?”

“He’s a CEO,” Stephanie answered, sighing dreamily. “So as you can imagine, he’s pretty busy. Meetings, calls, traveling all the time-- I guess he happens to be in town now. And you can bet he’s going to walk in here in a suit and tie, one that probably costs more than all my past paychecks put together.”

You looked down at your own outfit, consisting of a tee from the college you attended and leggings. Because it was a daycare job, it was not really necessary to dress up considering you had babies spitting up on you or smearing dirt on you when they went in for hugs. Still, you found yourself suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, even though you knew that was ridiculous. “He travels a lot?” you asked, trying to distract yourself from your simple wardrobe. “So I guess Linc doesn’t get to see him too often, then?” Such a thought seemed sad.

“Oh, no. That man loves his son way too much. Even if he’s all the way in London or Tokyo, he flies back for the weekend just to be able to see his family. Even though Linc doesn’t see him as much as Mom, you should see the bond they have.” Brittany sighed, shaking her head adoringly. “God, it’s so hot when a man knows how to be a father.”

“I need him to be my daddy,” Stephanie commented, and you laughed loudly, playfully nudging her. “There are innocent children in here, would you chill?” She laughed too, going over to scoop one of the girls up, bouncing her and making her laugh. “It’s okay, they don’t understand yet!”

You were about to ask Brittany what Steve’s relationship with Tiana was like, just out of curiosity, but then another parent came in the classroom. Turning to greet him and his son, you couldn’t help but feel impatient and excited, wanting to finally be able to meet Linc’s dad.

It was nearly 10:15 AM and still no sign of Linc; all the kids were generally dropped off by 9:30, considering that most parents had to go straight to work after, and you wondered if he would be coming at all today seeing that he was normally there before you even came in for your shift.

You were standing by the baby slide outside, supervising the kids playing on it when the door to the playground opened. As you looked up to see who it was, your breath was practically taken away.

He was just as Brittany described. Tall, blond, piercing eyes-- you could not see them up close just yet, but they already looked pretty. He was carrying Linc in one arm and you could see the shocking resemblance between the two, their facial features practically identical let alone the hair and eyes. Linc was generally a pretty happy child, but he looked even more ecstatic now, practically glowing as he bounced around in his father’s hold. You were incredibly confused at how such a scene could be so painstakingly adorable and so sinfully sexy at the same time. Brittany was right, a man who could be a father was hot, and his looks definitely helped too. Stephanie had also been correct; he was adorned in a very expensive looking suit, matched with a blue tie that complemented his pacific hues.

“Hi, Steve!” Stephanie greeted, and you watched her come over to him with a wide smile on her face. “Hey there, Linc! Look at you, you happy little man! Are you happy that Daddy’s back in town?” You chuckled as you watched; she was not being over-the-top simply for Steve, she was always this happy and playful around the children and you respected her for not letting this bizarrely gorgeous man disrupt that. “Hey there, Miss Stephanie.” Steve greeted in return, and you bit your lip from hearing his deep voice, wondering if this man had any flaws. “Sorry we’re late. I took the morning off today to spend some quality time with the little man. I should have let you guys know,” he apologized, eyes now scanning for the other teacher, then blinked as he saw you. “Oh, hi there. Are you new?” he asked with a charming smile, and you forced yourself to get it together.

“Yes, hi!” You walked over, though still making sure the children were in your periphery. “I’m Miss Y/N, I’ve actually been working part time here for a while but I just recently switched to full time.” You explained, then smiled as you reached out to playfully poke Linc’s cheek. “And I absolutely love this little guy! He’s such a sweetheart.”

Linc immediately giggled upon seeing you, suddenly reaching his arms out towards you. Steve blinked before chuckling intrigued, cocking his head. “Wow. I rarely see him do that with anyone. You already ready to leave Daddy for Miss Y/N, huh, tiger?” he asked him playfully, mocking offense. He handed him to you, handsome smile still gracing his lips. “He must really like you. Though I’m not surprised, he always likes the pretty girls.”

He said it so casually, your shocked brain could not even fully process that it was a flirtation-- he was already looking back towards Stephanie as if his comment was a perfectly natural thing to say in conversation with someone he had just met. “I’ll come pick him up too, I’ll probably be here around 5:30.” Looking back at you and him, he smiled and leaned down, kissing his son’s head. He was so close you could smell his cologne, even his minty breath. “I love you,” he spoke in a deep rumble, and your heart practically sighed. “Be good, kiddo. Don’t drive these ladies too crazy.” He straightened up again before winking at you, then turned around to head back inside.

You were standing there still in shock, but when you heard a whimper slowly sound from Linc’s throat upon seeing his father was gone, you snapped back to reality. “Shhh,” you comforted him, running your fingers through his blonde locks. “He said he’s coming to pick you up tonight! You’ll see him before you know it, okay?” The little boy sniffled and buried his face in your neck, hugging you tightly.

“Um, so, is he like that with everyone?” you asked Stephanie in reference to Steve, turning to her still a little bit in disbelief over what had just happened. She even looked shocked herself, scoffing amused. “Uh, no? I’ve never seen him flirt like that. Ugh, you’re so lucky.” You blinked and cocked your head. “Doesn’t he have a wife, though…? I mean, he and Tiana are married, right?” Stephanie nodded but made a slight face as if to indicate it was a bit more complicated than that. “I don’t know anything for sure, obviously, but something definitely seems off about that relationship. The only time I’ve seen them together was for Linc’s enrollment meeting, and… they didn’t really seem like they were vibing, you know? It wasn’t like they were arguing or upset with each other, it just seemed like they barely even knew or wanted to know each other. It was so weird, I had never seen a couple like that before.” She shook her head, continuing as she leaned over to pull a rock out of a kid's hand before he could eat it, “I mean, how could you not want to know that man? He’s practically an angel.”

You frowned thoughtfully. “Brittany said they had been getting ready to go on a date though, that one time she babysat. Maybe it had just been an off day for them when you saw them?” She shrugged her shoulders, though still looked uncertain. “I don’t know. After what I saw, it’s hard to imagine them even eating dinner in the same house. But who knows.” Stepping forward, she stroked Linc’s hair too, playfully poking at his hip to tickle him slightly. “What I do know, though, is that they definitely make cute babies!”

You smiled and nodded in agreement, deciding to drop the subject. It wasn’t any of your business anyways, the gossip simply kept you and your coworkers entertained through the hours of singing children's songs and chasing around hyperactive toddlers all day. Still, you could not help but think of that damn smile and wink for the rest of the day, even blushing like a little schoolgirl upon remembering Steve calling you pretty. As a twenty year old, you were more used to being called cute if anything at all, and so the compliment coming from a grown man (and a very attractive one at that) meant all the more.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x you #ml #ceo!steve

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naptoons · 4 years

Text

Lockdown - Zabdiel De Jesus

Theme: fluff and angst I guess & google translated spanish.

Warnings: cute shit with a little sad shit

A/N: okay this song is literally the cutest and I couldn’t imagine anyone fitting this concept but zabdiel🥺 I hope you guys like the angst / fluff🖤 I love you all.

You’ve always had a crush on Zabdiel, he was always there to help you through whatever you were comfortable with telling him. He knew you sometimes better than yourself. You hated to admit you like him. Because you knew you’d end up like the other girls. Either becoming his weekdays or his one time. You didn’t want to be either. You didn’t want your heart broken again. The pain was unbearable last time, you fell hard for your ex-partner. Now you were crushing big time. Zabdiel walks over to you placing the covers over your body, laying your head on his thighs while his fingers caress your earlobe, basically helping you fall asleep faster.

“You look so tired nena, whats got you up late at night?” His voice soothing you deeper into your slumber, you brain urged you to comment “you” but your fear wouldn’t let that happen.

“Work stuff” you mumble, Zabdiel settling for a soft hum, he just draws circles on your lower back, as your ears drown out the music and laughter.

Twenty minutes later the sound of cursing and shouts dawn upon you. Later followed by Zabdiel’s voice “shut the fuck up, y/n is trying to sleep” smiling you slowly sit up snuggling yourself in the covers. Zabdiel peeks his head in the room sighing at the sight of you being awake. “I apologize for them, supposedly uno is super intense you have to scream and jump on couches” he jokes with you.

“It’s okay, I guess I slept too long anyways” you smile fixing the hoodie you had on. Time couldn’t be more awkward then it was now.

“Is that my hoodie? Wow I was hoping I didn’t lose it” his smile beams, your face turning hues of red from your nose to the tip of your ears.

“Mhm” was all you could answer, Zabdiel flops down next to you, his arms rested on the back of the couch. “So we’re going out tonight, we’re going to club then the beach, so get dress nena” his fingertips caressing your exposed skin burning you up in size. You felt like the angel in you burned the wings off. Hit too close to the candles flame. Nodding your head Zabdiel helps you up from the couch, opening the door for you to walk out. He’s a gentleman. The type any girl would fall for. His energy is contagious. The butterflies were to powerful. You’re surprised they haven’t exposed you. Richard turns his head your direction smiling.

“Sorry we woke you up precioso” he engulfs you in a hug “it’s okay, I was waking up anyways”

“Yeah Zabdiel was about to beat us up for waking you up” Joel comments very humbling

“This man hella overprotective of you, makes me think it’s something more than just a friendship” Christopher sticks his tongue out in a very nsfw gesture Zabdiel walks over to him but Christopher gets up before he can lap around there. Laughing at how they’re playing a game of cat and mouse, I walk upstairs to my room. They all decided to come over, we were watching a movie in that room and you got tired. Opening your closet door you grab the most simple but elegant. A lace bodysuit tucked into black ripped jeans. And a pair of boots.

After your shower you think about what Christopher said, those words made you feel fuzzy inside. Made you question some things and even jumped to conclusions. But you’ve cane to realization, Zabdiel is just a flirty person by nature, even his fans know that. So makes you any different? Settling for to pieces of hair laying down on each side of your ears and a slick back ponytail. Looking through the mirror you see Zabdiel slender body “maldito bebé te ves bien” [Damn baby you look good], Zabdiel stands behind you kissing your temple. Smiling you lean back on his chest playfully. Zabdiel digs his fingers into your waist adorning you from head to toe.

Zabdiel knew he needed to tell you, he felt just a strongly as you do about him, but he knew his reputation might have messed that chance up for him. “Cmon lets go!” Grabbing your hand he pulls you towards the exit, while you grab your phone and wallet in the other hand. The rest of the boys were sitting on the couch debating about something, but got quiet as we entered the room. “Aren’t y’all obviously talking about us” Zabdiel laughs.

“No se de que estas hablando” [ I do not know what you are talking about] Christopher smugly replies, you only understand half of that sentence, more or less three words. Richard gets up walking towards the front door “erick should drive, since he can’t do shit” Richard pokes fun at him, You put on a pout face seeing how they bullied him. You walk over and hug him around his waist, cheek on his chest.

“Don’t worry, at least we don’t need alcohol to have fun” you back him up

“Yep, you’re right about that” he smiles wrapping his arms around your shoulder. Zabdiel stood in the background feeling a little jealousy brewing in him. Turning on his heel he walks out the door, swiping the keys on your table you follow pursuit.

“Someone has to sit on a lap” Erick shutters

“You’re thé driver, you ain’t got nothing to worry about, I call shotgun!” You yell just as you’re about to hop in the front seat Zabdiel pulls you into him. “You’re sitting on my lap” without any hesitation he pulls you on his lap, while the rest sit down in the seats. Erick looks back at you smiling.

“Watch your head Zabdiel is built like a jungle gym” he enlightens the situation

“Start climbing y/n, see what lies at the top” Christopher chimes in, getting a smack to the back of his head from Zabdiel. You have no choice but to laugh. You feel his hand on your waist pulling you in closer. “You comfortable?” You ask looking back at him

“Yeah I’m good you?” He asks

Smiling you reply “yes”

Arriving at the club, you saw a couple of his friends, including the girl he’s friends with benefits with. She looked beautiful nevertheless, she smelled like coco Chanel, mixed with the breeze of coconut. She was never bitter to you. I guess cause you hid your feelings so well she wasn’t aware you had the biggest crush on him. Zabdiel walks over to her engulfing her in a hug, her fingernails rubbing up and down his back. It was painful to watch so you softly shoulder bumped Erick and he did the same. “I’m hungry” you complain to him

“Yeah same let’s go eat” you and Erick start racing to the dinner part of the bar, Zabdiel watched you in the distance. Smiling at your happiness even if it wasn’t with him. “Zabdiel, Cmon lets get some drinks” Isabella grips onto his arms. Zabdiel nods follow her over to the bartenders. After you finished eating Erick wanted to dance at first you declined feeling socially awkward by the crowd, but Erick promised if it was too much you guys could go back to sitting down and play with the darts in the back of the club. Erick and you started dancing the rhythm of the beat. Y’all bodies grinding and sticking to each other, blending in just like everyone else. It wasn’t so bad you thought to yourself.

“See! Was it so bad?!” Erick shouts over the music, giggling you shake your head in rejection. “No! It isn’t!” Zabdiel was on the couch with Isabella watching how you guys were glue to each other’s body. He wanted that with you. Isabella and Zabdiel are both in a jealous rage. Isabella understood that he didn’t love her, he loved you. She wanted to make your heartbreak so you’d stay away from him. Erick has left to go use the bathroom, Isabella took the opportunity to speak to you. Kissing Zabdiel on the cheek she gets up from his lap making her way over to you.

“Hey y/n how are you?” She asks

“I’m fine, hot is all” you reply

“Yeah it is hot in here, listen sweetie I have something to tell you” her hands lifelessly laid upon your arm “Zabdiel isn’t ready for a relationship, he’s told me that he only sees you as a friend, he couldn’t cross that brother-sister boundary, you know he’s the flirty type don’t take it personal” if you could throw up flowers like a Hanahaki disease. This would be the moment. All this scenarios they played in your head turned from maybes to imaginations.

“Oh, well thanks for tell me I guess” upon hearing your somber tone on the inside she was quiet glad now you would turn away from her “man”

“I’m sorry baby, I know you liked him a lot, but he isn’t worth giving your heart too, he’ll just break it” Isabella pats your back walking back over to Zabdiel” your ears becoming numb to the blaring sound of the music. You watch her sit down on Zabdiel’s lap his hands wrapped around her waist. Smiling as they have a conversation. You told yourself not to fall hard for him. Just in case something like this were to happen. Erick comes out smiling, but that smile soon fades upon seeing the way your lower lip poked out in despair.

“Hey y/n are you okay?” He asks caressing his thumb on your forearm

“Erick.. May I be alone for fifteen minutes? I’ll be at the beach okay?” you force a smile, his eyes downgrading in shades of concern.

“Sure, I’ll come get you in fifteen minutes” Erick smiles, he kisses your temple watching you walkout the door before he turns around heading straight towards Zabdiel.

Zabdiel stops laughing once he sees the look upon Erick face, he knows somethings wrong. “Que Paso ?” [what happened]

“Something happened with y/n, she looked hurt, like she heard something and was disappointed by it” Zabdiel pushes Isabella off of him. She tries to grab his hand but he swings it away.

“What did you say to her?” Zabdiel growls, usually it would cause a bundle of joy in the pit of her stomach, but this sounded like a raging monster.

“Papi I didn’t say anything, maybe she was just thinking about something” she lies, Richard smugly drinks from his cup

“pequeña eres una gran mentirosa” [ little girl you are a big liar” Zabdiel turns in his direction “bro she went and told y/n you’re not in love with her, and that you aren’t ready for love, she also said you’d just hurt her” Zabdiel’s fists balles up wanting to punch a wall or a table but calms down ready to tell her off “when I come back home, I want your shit gone, I’m changing my number as well, get the fuck outta my face” Zabdiel looks back at Erick asking where you’ve gone too.

You were sitting close by the shore not to close to be swept away but close enough the waves crashed against your toes. Wiping the tears from your eyes that blended in well with the salt water in front of you. Why did you have to get your hopes up? You thought to yourself. Hearing the sound of feet against the sand you sniffed and dried your eyes. “It hasn’t been fifteen minutes yet Erick but I’m coming” you get up from your position as you turn around you realize it’s not Erick. But the boy you’ve fallen in love with.

“Oh hey Zabdiel” you couldn’t talk to him right now, you didn’t know how you could talk to him. Things would be awkward. It already was awkward but you always played it off by flirting back. Now you couldn’t do that. Trying to walk past him he grabs your wrist making you stand in front of him, as he towers over you. “What don’t you wanna go back inside? Your girlfriend is probably worried”

Zabdiel rolls his eyes “you know damn well she isn’t my girlfriend”

“Well Isabella is waiting”

“Can’t you see I don’t give a fuck about her? Y/n I’m here cause Erick told me you were out here”

“Your point?” You didn’t mean to be cold,but you wanna let him get close, your heart is already broken. Twice could make you run away from him.

“For fuck sakes y/n I like you” Zabdiel bluntly comments.

Shaking your head you feel the tears roll down “no you don’t Zabdiel, I don’t wanna be just another girl to you, I want more then that I deserve more than that, I don’t want to feel my heart break no more” your voice floating in the window “cause the minute that we touch lockdown, Zabdiel because I am in love with you, I might never want to let you go”

Sniffling you drop your arm still in his grasp “just tell me please, you got someone else, so I can make easy to not go there” you let out one last comment.

“ I can’t lie to you. I don’t have anyone else and I’m not in love with Isabella, it’s always been you, you idiot” not giving you anytime to respond, the sun and the moon met, as his warmth cascade over you, his fingers placed gently on both sides of your cheek, holding the both of y’all together like glue, the waves crashing against the both of your feet’s. A gust of wind flowing in between you two. It was something and more you’ve always dreamt of. Pulling away from your space, a string of saliva becomes a divider between you two. His eyes swimming in love, but also in beauty because of you. “Y/n i meant what I said, I’m deeply and utterly in love with you, fuck more then I should be, it scares the hell out of me, but feeling that jealousy tension today I know that this feels right”

“You were jealous?” You ask curiously

“That’s all you heard?” Zabdiel laughs “yeah, I got very jealous today, what Christopher said is true, I’m very overprotective of you”

“I love you too” honey voice came from your lips, instantly melting Zabdiel, his smile so milky and delicate. Leaning in he crashes his lips upon yours with only one hand on your jawline.

Erick has to drive us home, everyone was drunk besides him and I. Zabdiel was tipsy he could’ve drive but he wanted you to sit on his lap again. Getting out the car the cold wind hit my body. We said out a little longer, playing with the water, kissing, watching the moonlight against the water. It was something that only happened in movies. “Here” Zabdiel wraps you up in his jacket, smiling up at him he kisses your forehead. Something that always gave you butterflies. Even with him bring your boyfriend now. Erick Opens the front door for us, while everyone followed pursuit.

“Finally you told her z! Told you she felt the same” Christopher slurs his words, You giggle in how shy he is by that comment but he just picks you up taking you to his room. Closing the door behind him you scope out the room. He’s done some remodeling there were things you never seen before in his room.

“I added something you’ll love” he speaks

“Hm, what is it?” You reply

“Change into my hoodie and you’ll find out”

“I’ll do that if you take a warm shower with me” innocently you plead

“Oh, already?” Zabdiel jokes with you.

After the shower you and Zabdiel were cuddled up in his bed “so where’s the surprise?” you ask he reaches over on his nightstand grabbing what looked like a remote. He clicked it and stars appeared on the celling. Looking just like the skies you saw at the beach. Astonished by the view your eyes turn into a galaxy. And he loved it.

“How is that for a surprise?” He mumbles against your skin “so now when you come over, we can do just this” he wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you into his chest.

“What more would you do for me?” You smile

“Whatever you want me to do, you have me on lockdown”

#cnco imagines #cnco #cnco imagine #zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel

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aponderingcharming · 4 years

Text

Just a post-Age of Ultron Steve and Nat scene...just got the feels for some reason and had to get something out! Enjoy :) Steve had been watching her for hours now. Outside of training the team and getting them up to speed on how things worked around here, she hadn’t said a word – and Nat liked to comment. Bruce disappearing weighed heavily on her every movement, her limbs that little clunkier than usual, the snap of her skills a little soft, and he noticed how the light that once danced in her eyes began to dim. As the day dragged on, Steve could almost literally see her walls coming back up and entrapping her in her own fortress of protection once again.

He wanted to help.

Natasha had been a friend to him. Someone that he trusted. Someone that he cared for.

So when he found her up late, looking out over the star-filled yet empty training grounds, he made a decision.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” he posed quietly, sidling up alongside her, resting his arms on the metal rail.

The woman glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, a small, sad smile forming on her lips.

“Never been good at sleeping, actually. Always on alert. One of the downfalls of being in the spy business.”

They stayed in silence for a few moments, comfortable in each other’s presence. Steve noted that it always felt like that when he was with her; familiar, normal. Safe, he even mused internally.

It was a beautiful night. There was a stillness about the way the stars just hung there in their place, keeping watch over everything below, keeping watch over them.

Finally, “I’m sorry about Bruce.”

Her shoulders stiffened.

“Yeah, well…” she took a short pause to look down, “I don’t even know…” she cut off, swallowing hard.

“You deserve to be happy, Natasha,” Steve interjected for her, wanting her to know that he understood. “It’s not wrong to want things. It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

She let that settle between them and he took that as a good sign. He wasn’t sure how many times, if ever, someone had said that to her. But it was true, and she should know that.

“So do you,” she whispered eventually, this time making sure to look at him. Sincerity coloured her words and he inhaled deeply, allowing himself to soak in her words, too, letting them flow into the parts of him that needed to hear that.

“You know, ever since I was a kid-”

“You mean like 100 years ago?” she jested, a tad brighter.

He smirked and rolled his eyes. “Yeah like 100 years ago,” he joked back fondly. “But all I ever wanted to do was to be a soldier. End injustice, bring peace, help make the world a safer, better place for everyone. But I always saw an end to it, you know? We’d win the war, I’d come home, get married, have a family, grow old. I mean, I knew there was always a chance that I might not make it out alive, but deep in the back of my mind was this longing to have a life after the war. I’d do my part and then I’d settle down.”

“With Peggy?” Natasha asked in a quiet voice. She was looking at him intently now, eyes only on his.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, if she would have me,” he tagged on with a short laugh.

“How could she not? You’re like the perfect gentleman, Steve. The solider with a heart of gold.”

“Ah, I don’t know about that.”

“I do. I’ve known that since our first mission together. Trust me; she would have been all yours.”

He couldn’t help but smile but sadness weighted his heart. That future with Peggy was all gone now, and as much as he saw a life after war before, now it felt like war was an inevitable part of him, and that whole other part of his life didn’t exist anymore. This was his life now.

But maybe he was okay with that. Making the world a better, safer place was why he was made after all. Maybe this was his greater plan.

“Yeah, well...turns out I missed the boat on that one. She was happy though,” he said, breaking his gaze to watch the night sky again. “Lived a good life.”

Slowly, Natasha’s hand reached over to cup his upper arm, just briefly. “I’m sorry, Steve. Sometimes it’s easy to forget what you’ve lost because we get so wrapped up in everything else that’s going on.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “But we’ve all lost things. Everyone here, each Avenger, has a reason to do what they’re doing and it all stems from some experience, some loss, or longing. I suppose it helps us focus, it spurs us on. I know not everyone is vocal about it though,” his words became softer now, “and Nat I want you to know that you can trust me, okay? When we’re out in the field, there’s no one I trust more than you, and no one I would rather have fighting alongside me than you, so if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

For maybe the second time in all the time he had known her, he could see tears shining in her eyes and she moved just that little bit away from him as if to protect herself again.

“Peggy was in my vision,” he offered, opening up more, willing her to know that she could trust him. “We were at a celebration, the war was over and we had won. She told me that we could go home. We danced, and then everyone was gone and I was left alone.” Pausing, he set his jaw and closed his eyes just for a breath of a second. “The vision showed me what life I could have had and then showed me that that life wasn’t attainable anymore. That everyone was gone and I was still left fighting a war.”

The air grew heavy between them, the truth and honesty huddling around them. It was as if they were somewhere else entirely, in a whole other realm where it was just the two of them. He waited, sensing the emotional wrestle within her body, knowing that she was struggling. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything; maybe it was wrong to add another level to their relationship, but she had lost something today and he had learned of a part of her he didn’t know existed – the part of her that ached for a sense of home. And, boy, could he relate to that.

“I was back in Russia in my vision. At my final graduation,” she finally ground out, her voice thick. “And just being there it…it made me remember the kind of person I was. I spent years trying to run away from it all and live differently – better - and all of sudden, with a flick of a wrist, I’m brought back to that place, and all I can think about is how….how I’m a monster. That I’m a machine built for one purpose and one purpose only: to kill. And that’s all I’m good for.”

“You’re not a monster, Nat. So far from it.”

The words shot out of him before he even knew they were forming on his lips.

“Yeah, well you don’t know everything I’ve done, Rogers.”

“I don’t need to know.”

She snorted and then sniffed, tears escaping.

“No seriously,” Steve continued, this time leaning down so that she could see his face. “Natasha I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about you or your past or what you’ve done, but I do know you. I know who you are now. Are you highly skilled and a formidable opponent to anyone who gets in your path? Yeah, absolutely. You’re one of the best, if not the best fighter I’ve seen. There’s a reason you’re on this team. You don’t need super serum running through your veins to make you someone.” That drew a smile from her and his heart warmed knowing that he put it there. “But I also know that you’ve dedicated to your life to fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. You joined SHIELD because you wanted to make an actual difference and to put a stop to those who do the things that were done to you. That doesn’t sound like a monster to me. Almost sounds like a hero, don’t you think?”

Another beat of silence.

Another sniff.

And then, “No wonder they call you Captain America,” she mused, voice still a little deeper than usual. “That was some speech.”

“Glad you liked it. But I meant it. Every word.”

The woman straightened now and turned her frame so that they were face-to-face. A gradual and tentative hand came up to rest on the side of his face, and Steve noted how he leaned just that little bit more into the touch. “Thank you, Steve. For everything. I don’t say it a lot and I don’t express it very well but-”

“Anytime,” he interjected.

Natasha moved to kiss his other cheek, her lips warm and soft. It was quick but it was tender. “Same goes for you, too.”

When she broke away, he tried to ignore the pang of disappointment. It was as though a spell had been broken and part of him wanted to reach out and pull her in for a hug, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Well, I guess I better try to get some sleep,” she announced, her body that bit looser now and the grin that formed on her mouth was definitely more like the Nat he knew. “Goodnight Steve.”

He smiled in response. “Goodnight.”

“Oh and don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” she said playfully with a wink as she was leaving.

Steve shoved his hands into his pockets and fixed his smile on the ground, nodding in agreement. “About what?” he teased back, pulling a laugh from her.

He stayed there for a few minutes longer, feeling the lightest he had felt since the mission had ended.

He hoped she felt the same way.

#steve rogers #natasha romanoff #captain america #black widow #romanogers #stevenat #capwidow #steve x natasha #avengers #marvel #age of ultron

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angelkurenai · 5 years

Text

One moment - Loki x Reader

Avengers: Endgame SPOILERS BELOW read at your own risk

Title: One moment

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Avengers: Endgame spoilers

Summary: You have found a way to undo the damage Thanos did and bring everyone you lost back, all of your loved ones or at least most of them. As you travel back in 2012, however, you run into someone who is far too familiar. Unable to let go, even after all these years, of the death of the man - or basically god - you loved so much you forget all about the mision and decide to have one more moment with the one who sacrificed his life to save yours out of love.

“Is anyone on their position or am I the only one doing their fucking job right, here?” you asked the boys, checking around at the agents which had been unfortunate enough to come your way “And yeah, I know, language.”

“You're never really going to let go of that, are you?” you heard Steve's voice say followed by a heavy sigh that made you giggle in the end.

“I could make an exception if you'd ask. For you my Captain, anything you want.” you said with a small smirk, already able to hear Tony sighing in exasperation and you could definitely picture him rolling his eyes.

“Well-” you could literally hear and defintiely imagine the smile and maybe a blush on his face “I'll definitely have that in mind.”

“Can we please cut the flirting for just one minute and focus? I think we have more pressing matters at the moment.” you heard Tony's annoyed voice and chuckled a bit anyway.

“Yeah, like the fact that you're failing so bad to get one damn cube. Bruce and I already have the time stone and are waiting for you. Maybe if I didn't have all this free time waiting for you to get your pretty asses to work then-”

“Alright, alright we get it. You got the stone faster. Yay. Good job. I was going to say- As in the fact that Scott what the hell is taking you so long?” Tony hissed, his voice a bit hushed and you could understand very well why.

“Uh just a minute, just a minute. I'm getting there!” you heard Scott struggling a bit.

“Hard to find the way to Tony's heart? Don't worry, tell him he's smart, he'll believe it and that's it.”

“Hey, how about instead of commenting on everything and trying to bed Rogers, you do something more useful and get your pretty ass here in case we need backup?”

“What's the matter, Stark? You jealous I didn't try to bed you?” you asked with a small laugh “And you don't ave to ask, I'm already on my way. It's like cleaning up your messes is my main job here.”

“Oh not jealous at all, sweets. You've got a thing for them with blue eyes, I know, I get it.” he teased although this time you didn't smile as before. You were teasing Steve, you were best friends and after trying for so long to get him in the game with some girl – well, at least before everything that happened with the Accords and Thanos – you had come to the point where this was normal for you two. But Tony bringing up the blue eyes and clearly hinting towards somebody else, despite how much he meant it playfully, didn't keep the smile on your lips and you couldn't blame him. He didn't know the whole truth, none of them knew. None exccept Thor knew, and therefore couldn't know your pain at the moment.

“I'm just wondering what would your boyfriend really say if he heard you right now. And oh he's by the way standing just a few feet away from me right now.”

As if fate was playing some cruel joke on you, the moment you rounded a corner, Tony's words were heard and your eyes found him. Him. Standing there, handcuffed and with a muzzle over his mouth. Surrounded by all those guards and treated like a criminal, like some low-life criminal that didn't deserve to say a single thing in his defence. A criminal and a villain was probably all they saw and after everything that had happened you could't blame them. You had fought by their side during the battle in New York, a battle that had started after he appeared but not because he appeared; there was a difference there. Granted, you were probably the only one who knew it and believed it, probably Thor too, and that was why you weren't fighting against him unlike the rest of your now-family. A criminal, treated even worse perhaps, and a mere look at how he was chained now and all-but-dragged around, you felt your heart breaking into a milion pieces. All it had taken was a small talk with him and you knew it, you saw it. He was only another victim in all of this and he was probably already suffering the worst, even worse than you and the rest of the Avengers. From that first moment, you couldn't see the villain others did. Sure, at the time you had no tried to let your emotions get the best of you, you stood by your friends' side and fought against his army as you should to protect humanity, but that didn't mean you could blame him for that. You knew very well and were proven right after all these years that the only one responsible was the mad titan who had ended up taking everything from you.

It was sad that Loki himself could hardly believe it wasn't his fault, either. Following him and Thor to Asgard, you managed to spend more time with him. And despite how closed-off he was, despite how set he was on his opinion that he was no more than the criminal you had met, you did get to realize one thing you had been right from the beginning. His suffering showed through just as did his need for love and you were probably a fool, or so he had once called you when you told him the truth, but you had fallen hopelessly in love with him after all that time. Not that you had had the opportunity to act on that love anyway.

A criminal was something you had actually never seen him as, especially when you looked into his eyes. All you you saw was the pain he had to endure and all the pain he was still suffering. All the pain you had been unable to take off his chest, or so you thought at least, and didn't have the time to try harder to fight off because the mad titan had taken him, without a single care, from you far too soon.

The man- well, technically, the god who had been blamed for so much, had had to endure finding out his life was a lie, be manipulated and tortured for so long and had to hear everyone believe he had no heart, proved to you he had the biggest one. He sacrificed his life for yours, yours and his brother's. He was no criminal, he was the one who saved your life in more ways than he could even know and he was inevitably the love of your life.

But the love of your life was gone. So who was this then?

“S-Stark...” your voice trembled as your body froze at the sight before your eyes. The moment you looked at him you felt everything you always did and somuch more; pain, anger, fear and everything else you went through when you saw Thanos kill him.

You wanted to say so much but you couldn't find the words. No sound could come out of your lips. Only then you heard Tony's words, playful as ever but oh if only he could know the whole, painful truth “Charming as ever isn't he? Especially with that muzzle on, I could say almost bearable.”

“T-Tony-” you started, trying to warn him, to say something, but you were already pulled into this mess that you couldn't just forget the fact that Loki was only a couple feet away from you.

“Don't worry, we've got this under absolute control. Scott? Are you-”

But Tony's words were completely drowned out by the sound of your heart beating madly in your chest or the blood rushing so fast. The lump in your throat felt painful, your eyes were burning with unshed tears and everything that happened around you was a mere blur. But it wasn't entirely because of the tears but mostly because of him. His eyes were moving around the place until he spoted you and soon an expression took over that you couldn't identify. Or maybe didn't have the mind to think about.

Mind and time. It all happened so fast. Past Tony having a heart attack, Thor trying to help him, Scott sliding the tesseract to your Tony and him effectively managing to walk away without being noticed, not even by Loki who was really not that occupied. But technically he was, because he was too busy looking at you. Not that the moment lasted long enough. Hulk burst through the door Tony was going for and managed to knock him down, allowing the tesseract to slide towards Loki's feet.

“Shit.” Tony said out of breath “The tesseract. (Y/n), quick! Take the cube, it's there! It's right there!”

But his words seemed to have no effect on you as your entire body was frozen. You stood in your place for a few more seconds until Tony's voice yelling managed to snap you back to reality. Jumping into action you ran as fast as you could to take hold of the cube and you could almost hear the sighs of relief from your teammates. However the second you took hold of it and dared stand straight, your eyes met his and it felt like the entire rest of the world faded away. He cocked an eyebrow and you could almost picture his smirk that would always make your knees weak but this time, after having seen him die and knowing that in your time he was really dead, only managed to bring more tears to your eyes. Without being able to stop yourself, you reached out for him and before anybody else around you could comprehend, you used the tesseract to be transported into another place.

Loki blinked in surprise and looked around, realizing you weren't very far away from the Stark tower, but most importanly you were alone just the two of you. Tilting his head to the side, in a rather adorable way, at you, he gave you a small frown as if to ask what you were doing. Taking in a shaky breath, you placed the tesseract a bit furhter away, safely, before reaching out to him and taking his muzzle off.

He let a small breath, as if more relaxed, before his eyes fell back on you, his lips parted and he said “Well, hello there, darling. How's it going? I must say, you surprised me there. Not that I am the one to complain. I adore our alone time, love, certainly much more than being stuck with those two but may I ask, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Your own lips parted but no sound came out. You couldn't even describe how it felt to hear his voice “I-”

“Have you maybe finally decided to say yes to my offer? I can assure you, I can make a date quiet unforgetable if you only ask for it.” the grin on his lips would have made you smile if you weren't already far too broken, able to picture his final moments so vividly in your head despite how much time had passed. You could hear the voices of your teammates, Tony and Steve being rather frantic and even worried, but you decided to take off the earpiece just for a few seconds. You needed some time alone with him even if it was only for closure.

“A woman such as yourself deserves only the best of time and I am most certainly the only one capable of offering it to you.” he kept going and there was that smile that made you weak on the knees. The usual flirtying, the glint in his eyes that had started it all before the feelings got so much deeper and you both found yourselves hopelessly in love with each other to the point were you were both ready to sacrifice your lives for each other. “Contrary to what my brother may have warned you of, I'm rather-”

“I know. I know everything you are... and everything you can be. And it's all so wonderful.” you whispered, voice cracking as a tear rolled down your cheek; making his smile immediately vanish “Proof is that... I'm standing right here, in front of you and you have not once glanced at the tesseract or tried to take it an run away.”

“Well, I must have to admit the idea of taking it and even more so you and running away is the most tempting thought at the moment but...” he paused for a second, his eyes full of concern that would have surprised the past you but not the present you that knew what he had felt for you from the moment you met and you showed him true kindness “I am more... curious, for lack of better words, as to what is happening right now and right here. You-” he got a step closer and looked at you carefully “Are different. Something about you is different. From the (Y/n) I know at least.”

“Why? Because I'd slap you if you even so tried to get any closer than this?” the corners of your lips lifted into a small albeit sad smile mostly at the memory, but the god himself didn't smile. He narrowed his eyes at you, as if trying to read you but it wasn't anywhere near unpleasant, not after everything you'd been through.

“Oh I don't fear that you would, dearest. But rather... that you have.” he admited before letting out a soft breath and taking a step back “You're not from around here, are you? Not the same woman I've met. Or not entirely at least. Am I right?”

Your smile flattered as your eyes casted down “I'm from 2023.” you whispered and his eyebrows raised in interest “And I... came here to take the tesseract as a means to undo... Thanos killing 50% of all life.”

Whatever hint of a smirk, even if it was interest, vanished as pure horror and sadness overtook his features. His body straightened but his eyes showed such understanding and compassion when your watery ones looked up again to meet his “So he succeeds. I see.” he whispered, nodding his head with a bitter look on his face. He had suffered at the hands of the titan, there was no way he'd wish he won.

“Th-this was just a mission but when I saw you I just remembered that-” you choked on your words, stopping before shaking your head “I couldn't stop myself. I- I'm sorry.” you didn't realize this was the first time you had whispered the word to him, or that anyone had said such words to him “I just needed this... moment with you. But thinking about it again feels probably really stupid and I-”

“How?” he cut you off gently although a bit more seriously and you frowned at him “How did I die?” he was never a fool, maybe far too smart for your own good sometimes, and certainly very good at reading you because you couldn't keep secrets from him even if you tried.

You smiled sadly even if another tear rolled down your cheek “You... far too early I'm afraid. It was because of him a-and-” you paused, arms wrapping around your own form “Somehow ir was the exact way I imagined and feared at the same time.” you choked out and he frowned a bit as you let out a shaky breath “Y-You died protecting Thor a-and me.” you smiled through your tears “Using even your last words a-about me, trying to comfort me and tell me it would be ok. It- it was just as selfless as I've always known you to be.”

“Some people would beg to differ.” he mumbled with what was supposed to be a smirk but you could see right through it that it was just a facade and as expected it soon dropped before he said in a small whisper “I didn't know you had so much faith in me. Selfless is something I've never been called before.”

“Well, you have now.” you shrugged your shoulders again, another tear escaping.

Without even hesitating, he reached out for you and wiped it so tenderly it made a sob break free from your lips that just made a pain expression cross his face before he dared ask “Just... one question. I am not surprised I did something like that for you, love, but... I only wonder, you and I- How close are we or at least were we in the future?”

“That's a pretty long story. Lots of things happen from the moment we meet till you-” you couldn't say it.

“Till the moment we meet each other again, correct?” he pointed out with a barely visible smile and you nodded your head slowly, deciding to take that approach “Well, I would suppose we have some time until 2023, don't we?”

“It's not like we really do b-but... yes, I was hoping I could get one moment... One moment with you.”

“And who knows, maybe it will be more than one.” he breathed out “At least I can hope.”

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

Text

Star Wars 101 (Ch. 2) Episode IV - A New Hope

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Wow, I didn't realize how much I'd written until I hit the tumblr limit. Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!

Chapter Summary: Steve just wants to do his job, the avengers are the best wingmen, Scott doesn't like porn, and [y/n] thinks all nerds are freaky

~~~

sci-fi boi: okay which cartoon rivalry was better?? Popeye the sailor man and Bluto or Tom and Jerry?

crackhead [y/n]: dude.

crackhead [y/n]: how is that even a question??? Obviously Tom and Jerry lol

sci-fi boi: explanation pls

crackhead [y/n]: popeye and bluto were always fighting over that girl olive and some other stupid crap but with my two furry buddies it was no talk pete no discussions just murder attempts ON SIGHT. Tell me they don't go harder than any other rivalry

sci-fi boi: haha truuuu

~~~

"Are we boring you, Queens?"

Peter's head snapped up quickly, discreetly turning his phone off underneath the meeting table. "Um-huh? No no no, Mr. Rogers I'm listening. Sorry."

Steve shook his head and continued to speak as he pointed to the pictures on the screen at the end of the room. All of the Avengers of Earth were there, some half asleep, while the others either joked or listened intently.

In two short days, they were going to be taking back powerful tech that Martin Li(aka: Mr. Negative)'s "demons" had stolen from Stark Industries. A simple "get in and get out".

They'd known this plan for some days now, yet Steve insisted on calling meetings to go over it again and again.

Feeling a quick vibration go off in his hand, Peter instinctively looked back down at his phone to see a snapchat text notification from you.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible🐝...

~~~

Peter shook his head slightly as he chuckled, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his face.

~~~

sci-fi boi: did you really just quote the bee movie at me???😂😂

~~~

"Hey spidey-boy, would you mind sharing to the class what's so hilarious?" Rhodey's voice rang out loud and clear from across the table.

Quick as lightning, Peter turned his phone off and buried it in between his thighs, realizing that he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. To his luck, everyone’s eyes were trained on him now.

“It's n-nothing!” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking embarassingly. He shoved his phone into his pocket in fear of someone snatching it from him.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smirked. "So what're you looking at down there?"

"I-i, uh, I was just um, w-watching a funny- very funny video actually-"

"C'mon guys!," Sam laughed, clapping his hands together. "Don't tease the kid. We all know what he was smiling at down there!"

At that, Peter practically choked. "WHAT?!"

Tony snickered. "Personally, I don't think two inches is something to be proud of, but alright."

Peter's eyes widen, nearly falling out of his skull by the looks of it. "I-it's not two inches a-and I wasn't looking at-!"

"Jesus christ, guys..." Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He was obviously just doing something on his phone. Leave the poor guy alone."

Peter coughed as he saw Steve glare at him with that infamous 'Im Captain America and Im judging you' glare. Phones weren't allowed in the meeting room. Well, they weren't supposed to be. No one ever really followed that rule except Peter. But he'd already been so deep in his conversation with you that he just couldn't put his phone down. "No no, um, I wasn't.. I was just zoning out, y'know, and I just happened to be looking-"

"-at your phone?," Steve cut in to ask.

"-at your dick," Rhodey stated at the same time.

"-at porn," Tony said with an all-knowing smile, causing everyone at the table to turn towards either him or Peter, whose face was beet red with embarrassment.

"Peter please tell us you weren't watching porn," Scott begged, his jaw completely dropped. "I mean, no judgment but-"

"Full judgement, actually," Clint corrected, an extremely disturbed look on his face. "Seriously, what were you doing, kid? You gotta tell us now with all these assumptions being thrown around."

"Curious," Thor stated, leaning back in his chair. "What is porn?"

"Something that I definitely WAS NOT watching!," Peter responded as he practically slammed his face into the table and slapped his hands over his eyes. "Does it even matter what I was doing anyway?," he mumbled into the table.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, blowing the smoke off of her coffee. "People usually aren't this defensive when they're telling the truth, Peter."

Peter shrunk into his seat with a loud groan. Can I die. Can I please just die. Like why am I seriously even alive right now??? Some bad guy please just burst through the door and maim me please.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up Parker's phone," Tony commanded once the commotion in the room died down.

Peter quickly lifted his head. "Wait, what?!"

"Accessing Peter Parker's mobile device, sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. "Would you like for me to transfer the screen to the meeting board?"

Tony looked back with a laugh to see a frozen, slack-jawed Peter. He turned back around. "Yeah sure, F.R.I.D.A.Y., what the heck let's have fun."

"No wait- are you seriously hacking into my phone right now?!"

"Well why're you so tense, Parker?," Sam asked teasingly. "Thought you had nothing to hide?"

"I-i don't!," he stammered. "I-it's just..." he trailed off, looking for the right words to say. "..that's my private property," he said lamely while staring at the wall.

Tony stared back at him. "Well that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard." He pointed towards the board. "Alright it's coming up."

Scott closed his eyes. "Oh God, please don't be porn.."

Peter rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked to the large board, fully expecting to see either porn or just some stupid game the boy had been playing.

But none of them expected him to be texting a girl.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: hey u still there?

~~~

"Who's crackhead [Y/N]?," Natasha asked.

Scott turned to Rhodes who was sitting on the side of him. "Is that some trashy porn star?," he whispered.

"Why're you asking me like I know?"

"It's this girl from school.." Peter answered, blushing profusely.

"And you like her," Natasha noted, watching his body language intently.

The boy's eyes widened. "N-no I don't!"

"Why crackhead though?," Rhodey asked, crinkling his nose.

Peter shrugged. "That's what she wanted her name to be," here responded. "Thought it was funny."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just like you thought 'sci-fi boi' was funny?" Shaking his head, he changed focused. "Guys, are we gonna get back to work or not?"

"Not," Tony answered as he scrolled up all the way to the beginning of the messages from early that morning. "So, you've been texting this girl today off and on since..." He checked the time. "Five in the morning?"

Clint chuckled. "Oh yeah, huge crush."

“No!” Peter protested, his voice an octave too high. Realizing that it isn’t working, he decided to try a different technique. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound and act as nonchalant as possible. “She’s just a friend from school.”

"She's first on your best friends list, even over that computer kid you practically live with. And you and her practically snap each other nonstop."

Peter scratched his nose. "W-well that's only cuz Ned doesn't like to text much."

Bruce took his glasses off and sighed, realizing there was no way this meeting was getting back on topic. "Look Pete," he said. "Friends don't do that. I've seen it all before. If you and this girl are talking on a daily basis all throughout the day starting at five in the morning?" He titled his head in a suggestive way, though Peter stared back at him blankly.

"What?," Peter asked.

"Oh my God, kid," Bruce sighed.

Tony held his head back and laughed. "It means either she likes you and your just too dense, you like her but won't admit it and she's just concerningly nice, or you both like each other and just won't make your moves!"

Sam, who hadn't lifted his eyes from the board the entire time, spoke up. "And judging by these texts, you already got her, it's just not official yet."

Tony kept scrolling. "You two went to winter formal together?"

"Yeah... but as friends," Peter said with a shrug.

Steve cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room at once. He looked at Peter who was doing everything here could not to look him in the eye. "Look, as much as I would love to talk about Peter's sad love life, we have a mission-"

"-that will still be there tomorrow, Cap," Bucky finished for him. "C'mon we've been going over this stuff for hours. Let us have this distraction."

Everyone looked to him, Tony feigning a puppy dog expression. Crossing his arms, he left the room. "Fine, but when someone gets hurt because they didn't know where they were supposed to go, don't blame me."

"...literally no one's ever blaming you, man," Sam said.

Suddenly, the screen lit up and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. "Sir, Peter Parker has a new message."

Everyone looked to the board. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Scroll down, Mr. Stark. Scroll down!," Peter yelled frantically. "What's she saying?"

Natasha smirked. "And you're sure you don't like her, Peter?"

His face flushed. "Okay fine...I might have a tiny crush-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Tony cut in. "Can you say that agai-"

"-I SAID YEAH I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL!," Peter finally yelled with his eyes squeezed shut. He kept them closed for about twenty seconds afterwards, afraid of the judging faces he would see if he opened them.

He carefully opened his eyes to see all of the avengers (minus Cap) staring back at him with stupid smiles and smirks on their faces.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear," Tony said. He clapped his hands together. "Okay everybody, first order of business, checking the text. Sam, you're our reader."

"Got it."

"What?," Peter yelled, reaching for his phone. Tony dodged him and gave it to Sam. "Mr. Stark, I can text a girl on my own. I don't need help."

"Nat, you're our timer. Make sure none of the responses take longer than a minute. We don't want the girl to get bored and go on to something else."

"Check."

"Mr. Stark, c'mon-"

"Sam, you explain stuff to lightning head over here if he doesn't understand it. This could be learning moment for ole Shakespeare. Thor, you listen to Sam."

"Right."

"On it."

"Everyone else, you're with me. We gotta find the perfect thing to say to this girl. I've got a feeling this is probably the only chance he's gonna have to get a girl in a long time."

Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Bruce, and Wanda looked to each other and nodded.

"And Pete?"

Peter raised his head. "Yes sir?"

"You know this girl more than anybody here does, so you tell us if what we say is appropriate for her or not."

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Tony pointed to Sam. "Okay, read it."

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: u going to flash's party on saturday??

~~~

"She wants to know if the kid's going to some party Saturday."

Tony turned to the boy. "You're going," her demanded.

Flash was the most popular douchebag in school. Totally rich and totally rude and totally determined to use his every breath to spite Peter. "I wasn't even invited," Peter mumbled, shooting a glare towards Sam when he heard him laughing.

"Well get invited," Tony ordered. "A party is the perfect place to make a move. Send yes."

~~~

sci-fi boi: yes

~~~

"Mr. Stark, how am I supposed to get into this party? Flash hates me! And if I crash it and Flash sees me, he's gonna make sure everyone thinks I'm a loser!"

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Peter we're trying to help you here. Figure that part out on your own."

Peter sighed, leaning forward in his chair. The last thing he wanted was another assignment, even if it wasn't actually an assignment. On the plus side, he'd get to see you, and maybe have some fun if he actually tried to enjoy himself.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: cool so i guess ill go too

~~~

Rhodey chuckled while shaking his head. "Kid, if you don't ask this chick out the second you see her again, I'm gonna bodyslam you."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bruce smiled. "Whether or not she went to the party was depending on if you were going," he pointed out.

"This girl used to be like that with me back in college," Scott said with a shrug. "Thought she liked me. Turned out she just had social anxiety..."

"Yeah you're really not helping this, bugman," Tony said.

"Wait, you guys think [Y/N] actually likes me back?," Peter asked, getting groans and laughs in return.

"Where have you been the last few minutes?," Natasha said.

"We've literally been saying that this entire time," Sam deadpanned.

Peter stared at his feet below the table. If the team was right, and you did actually like him back, then the movie marathon he was planning was the perfect excuse to hang out with you. "I-i think I might have a plan!," he rushed out, his head flying up. He pointed to Sam. "Ask her if she's free tonight!"

"Yes!," Thor yelled, his fists pumped into the air. "The spider child has grown his man balls!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Sam nodded approvingly as he texted.

~~~

sci-fi: r u free tonight??😉

~~~

"Wait hold on," Peter said, suddenly rushing towards the phone in a frantic manner. "Why is there a winking emoji?! I didn't say anything about a winking emoji!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were flirti-"

Peter groaned. "Delete it, man. Delete it before her bitmoji pops up!"

"Okay okay, dang kid," Sam chuckled, quickly deleting the text and replacing it with one without a winking emoji. "There. And ya girl didn't even see it."

"Hey guys," Scott said. "I know we're all freaking out and stuff. But honestly, I'm just glad he wasn't watching porn." He shrugged. "So no matter what happens with this girl, today's still an absolute win."

It went on like this for a solid thirty minutes.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: yeah wassup

sci-fi boi: wanna come over and watch movies?

crackhead [y/n]: sure what're we watching

sci-fi boi: we can decide that when u get here. how about 4??

crackhead [y/n]: alright sure

~~~

"Okay, last thing," Tony said. "We need a sly compliment. Something not that special about her, but enough to show her that you're tuned in. Gets them every time, trust me."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Wow, lady-killer."

Tony pointed towards her and shrugged. "She said it, not me."

Thor looked to Peter. "So, young spider. What have you observed about your darling love?"

Peter blushed, almost wanting to comment on the Thor's word choice but ultimately deciding not to. "Well, um, her eyes light up a lot when she gets excited and it's really dorky in a cute kind of way I guess," he mumbled, scratching his head.

"Alright I got it," Sam said, typing the words in. He lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Who knows, kid? There be some hope for you."

~~~

sci-fi boi: btw how do you get ur eyes to sparkle so bright when u get happy about stuff? Just thinking about it lol its cute

~~~

Peter blew out a shaky breath as he looked back over the set-up he'd made in the living room.

He'd cleared out space to build a super huge homemade blanket fort and inside it at the end was his tv. Towards the middle were all of pillows he could find inside the house and at the other end were snacks. All around the inside were fairy lights because he knew you liked them, though personally he found them cliche.

He spent about an hour on the whole set and an additional thirty minutes stressing over and making sure everything was safe (with all three fairy lights and tv cords). The last thing he needed was for the both of you to catch on fire while watching the movie.

The two of you were going to be watching Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (or as normal 'not-nerds' like to call it, "the first one"). Of course, he hadn't told the team that. If they'd known what movie he'd planned on showing her, high chances are they wouldn't have even let him out of Avengers tower. But if Peter was gonna be forced to hang out with someone (not that he was really complaining), he would at least pick the film.

Finally checking all the boxes in his head for the night, Peter went to go check the DVD before he heard your knock at the door.

"Coming!," he yelled, quickly chucking the disc into the DVD player. He ran to the door and opened it with an awkward smile. "Uh, hey [Y/N]."

"Hey," you said back, already sort of blushing. "How's it going?"

Peter stared. Are your eyebrows done or are they just naturally that nice? He found his voice after abruptly noticing that he was staring. "Uh-well. It's been going great! How's it going for y-you also as well?" He frowned. "I-i mean, what's been going on with your life lately? No, that's dumb. I meant-"

"Peter, Peter! Calm down, dude," you giggled. "I've been fine."

"Oh," he chuckled. "That's good... d-do you wanna come in?"

"Question. What're we watching, Peter?," you asked, a smile playing on your face. Considering what you remembered from the last time you were at his house, and the fort you could get a peek of from the doorframe, you figured it was special for the nerdy boy. Plus his shirt had Yoda on it.

Freakin' Star Wars.

Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face. "Remember what you promised me we'd watch?"

You rolled your eyes, stepping past him into his living room. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Time to get nerdy I guess."

"Come on, you'll love it,"Peter said, quickly closing the door behind them and then briskly running towards the fort to hold up the side blankets for you. "So, snacks and drinks are beside us. We'll chill on these blankets here. And...um, yeah. That's about it." After stepping outside for a bit to go turn off the lights(for the full "movie theater" experience), Peter laid down on his belly, reaching for the DVD player to press play.

You watched as he fumbled with the wires, making sure the DVD player was plugged in before turning it on. Has your jawline always been that sharp?

You couldn't quite place it, but his texts from before seemed.. weird. But not a bad weird at all. A good, intriguing weird.

And that compliment was pretty nice, but odd for Peter. Sure, he complimented you often, but it just felt different this time. Usually it'd be something like, "new dress?" or "nice shoes". But never "you're eyes sparkle when you get excited." Heck, you didn't even know that about you. Was he paying attention? Did that mean he-

You remember how he acted about Liz Allen and Michelle Jones. Always staring. Never able to even say a full sentence in front of them without stuttering up a storm.

But he was so comfortable about you for the most part. You were just a friend.

"Okay got it," Peter said, laughing excitedly as the screen in front of him lit up. He scooted back to where you were sat. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

The Fort quickly became dark as the Lucasfilm logo shined on the screen.

"I seriously dou-"

"Shhh!," he cut you off. "Wait for it..."

You gave him a look but joined him in his silence to see what he was waiting for.

BUMMMMM buh buh bummmm

Practically jumping on top of him, you flinched at the loud and sudden music. "Crap dude! Turn it down!"

Peter shook his head, reaching for a soda. "You have to get the full effect, [Y/N]!," he laughed. "Just embrace it." He began to sing with the music and mime crazy gestures as if he were directing an orchestra.

Duh duh duh DUH DUHHHHHHHH

Halfway through he stopped and recited the opening crawl, his eyes glued to the screen with a sort of focus that made you sure that not only was this not foreign to him, he probably did this every other week.

"It is a period of civil war," he mumbled, throwing some popcorn into his mouth. "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic- [Y/N] you have to watch the words, I swear it'll make the whole experience better." It went on for a little while longer until he paused the movie and looked over at you, cowering a bit. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Nah you're good," you said, realizing he'd noticed you staring. "It's just-" you remembered his text from earlier. "-you got really excited... It-um..it was cute."

Because of the darkness(the only lighting being from the tv), you couldn't see if Peter blushed or not, but you could clearly see the stupid grin plastered on his face that he was trying to hide from you with his hand. Repeatedly licking his lips as a desperate attempt to stop smiling as he pressed play on the remote control. "A-ah, um, thanks [Y/N]."

The opening crawl was over and soon the movie actually began, showing a huge spaceship.

"That's the imperial star destroyer," Peter whispered, never taking his eyes off the screen. "They belong to the empire." He saw your blank expression, wide eyes as he realized that meant nothing to you. "Uh, the bad guys."

You squinted your eyes at the screen, silently judging the graphics of the energy blasts- space bullets?- or whatever they were supposed to be. "Pete, when was this movie made?"

"1977."

"Oh okay," you said, deciding to give it some leeway for the trash designs.

You scooted a little closer to your friend, figuring you'd get a little bit more comfortable.

Oh how he wished you hadn't done that.

Nothing like actual, physical contact with a girl that you like and you think she might like you back to actually manage to distract you from one of your favorite movies ever.

He froze, not wanting to pull away and offend you, but definitely not wanting to stay because just being this close to you was making his mind run wild.

Does she actually like me back? What if Mr. Stark and the team only said that to get me to make a fool of myself? She's too comfortable with me. She just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she likes me and she's just really chill about it? Ooh my gosh and she's leaning on me right now. What am I 'sposed to do?? I don't know I don't know I don't know!!!!!!!!!

Deciding for a quick compromise, he got up completely to reach for another soda, though his sprite was still half finished. When he sat back down, he wasn't as close. Hopefully, you'd just see it as natural human behaviour and not him wanting to be away from you.

Course you would see it that way, wouldn't you?

"Oh my gosh I recognize someone! That's R2D2, right?!" You pointed wildly, glad to not be completely clueless for once with this nerd crap.

"Yeah that's R2," Peter responded, letting out a secret sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

"A-and that's that gold dude!"

"Yeah, C-3PO."

"And oh crap that's Princess Leia!," you shouted. "Fucking feminist icon!"

Peter tilted his head. "Wait, how would you know that if you've never watched this?"

You laughed. "I still have access to the internet, doofus! Scroll down the nerdy feminist side of tumblr and Leia is literally everywhere."

Peter chuckled as he finally finished his sprite. "Okay. Valid."

Since that, you stopped talking for a bit. Part of you actually did figure that since you're here, you might as well actually try to enjoy the movie and maybe find out what the fans actually see in it that makes them like it so much. The other part just really didn't want to annoy Peter while he was watching his favorite movie series.

But sometimes you just have to say something.

"Hold up, wait. Isn't that his sister? Oh my God, Pete I swear somebody told me before that Leia was Luke's twin!"

Peter shrugged while nodding. "Well, that's a bit of a spoiler, but yeah. What about it?"

"Oh my gosh, Pete- what about it?! Dude, he's literally making 'fuck me' eyes at his own sister! He's all like, 'ooh you're so sexy I'm gonna bone you all over the galaxy'. That's freaky!"

You grabbed the remote and began to rewind it.

"C'mon now [Y/N]," he explained. "He didn't call her sexy. He said she was beautiful. Sexy is wayyy different from beautiful. You can think your family members are beautiful can't you?"

You paused it once you got to where you wanted.

"Okay Parker, look at that. Look at that and tell me Lukes's not totally undressing her with his eyes!" You pointed at Peter's face with a goofy smile on yours. "Oh wow, I've finally figured you people out now."

Peter's head cocked to the side. "Figured out what?"

"Star Wars nerds are a bunch of horny kids that like that step-sibling porn stuff but can't watch that in front of their parents so they have to use an alternative!"

Peter fell on his back with laughter, practically rolling around like a pig. "[Y/N], what?!"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Who else likes to see two siblings bang each other, Peter?!"

At that he pointed back at you while picking up his other soda. "To be fair, they never do that with each other. They only kiss, like twice and that's it. And one of them is only to make Han Solo mad."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the Han Solo guy. Where is he anyway?"

Peter smiled. "Well, we're only twenty mintues in. He'll come soon."

To tell the truth, Peter really didn't even know what part you were at. His eyes were watching the screen but nothing was being comprehended. The only thing he could manage to think about was all the tiny things that were going on over on your side of the fort. Did you notice him staring? Was Tony right and you were just concerningly nice?

"I love how everybody at this bar is so chill south everything that's happening. It's like oh wow this guy just shot this green dude at table 8 and nope we totally don't care," you joked, pulling Peter out of his trance. He reminded himself that he should probably try to pay more attention. He didn't want to ruin the movie for you in case you had any questions.

But eventually, like all things do, the movie came to an end.

"So, how'd you like it?," Peter said while neither one of you made a move to leave the dark fort. You were laid out in practically a starfish-type position while he was sitting Indian-style.

You smirked. "I'll admit, it was pretty nice for a movie made in 1977. Still a bit lame though," you teased, pinching your fingers together with a giggle. Suddenly, you gasped. "Ooh, Vader was pretty lit though! Just straight force-choking people who disagree with you is such a power move."

Peter rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Typical..."

"Excuse me?"

He bit back a quick smile. "Look, I'm not saying that Darth Vader isn't awesome. Because he is! Totally and completely but [Y/N], you do realize that in literally every movie we watch you like the villains?," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because the villains are awesome!," you defended.

"Just saying. I'm sensing a bit of a pattern...," he teased.

You scoffed. "This coming from the guy who actually feels bad about some the people crashing into things when we're watching Ridiculousness," you said, reminding in how Peter was forever the relentless sap. "Well, while you're so busy judging me, whose your favorite character?"

At that, he gave a small sincere smile. "Ben. He's really cool."

"Ben Kenobi? The old guy that literally let himself die? But why?"

He shrugged, the small grin still present on his face. "Eh, sentimental reasons..."

He watched you return his sweet smile and it was then and there when Peter really felt content with the night. Though, you hadn't even known the weight his words carried, he did. Ned was the only other person who knew about it. But Peter knew right then and there that if you had asked, he'd tell you. And he knew you'd understand. Maybe you were just nice. Or maybe you did like him back. But in that moment, Peter didn't care. He just wanted to be here with you. Lost in the warm smell of popcorn and your vanilla perfume, watching a Star Wars movie with Uncle Ben surely smiling down from Heaven. And it gave Peter hope that maybe, just maybe, this was a step in the right direction.

2 hours (and five minutes) down. 22 hours (and forty seven mintues) to go...

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Taglist: @underoosjae @spn-assemble-seven @of-your-eyes-begonia-skies @parkerpeter24 , @audreylovespidey706

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ladywinterwitch · 4 years

Text

Run Away (One - At the beggining)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, pregnancy talk, sadness, LIKE A LOT, badly written medical diagnosis, FLUFF, cheesy af, feels (im sorry this one's a little emotional k)

Word Count: 3316

A/n: I don’t know why this idea came to me, honestly. One day I just stopped and asked myself, why do actually people decide to have kids? At first I didn’t really understand, I always saw around that parents made a big deal of the idea of it. The whole pregnancy, having a baby to ‘show’ around and such without realizing that said baby will become an actual human being that you’ll have to educate. Which I still think is the case for some people, I’m not gonna lie. But then, thinking a bit more about it, seeing people really in love, and that want to spend the rest of their lives with each other wish to form a family because that’s something that they want to kind of experience and grow together. But honestly Idk, I mean, I don’t have any experience so I could be saying a lot of bullshit. Something that did inspire me tho is the song ‘Run away’ by Ben Platt, so being a little undecided on how to name this, I decided to pay tribute to this beautiful song. But still, I hope you’ll enjoy this. Also, making a multi-chapter series it’s a first for me, keep that in mind.

(gif not mine)

Steve will always remember the first time he saw you. You were a new recruit for the avengers team, you came from SHIELD and were one of the best, so Fury decided to add you to the heroes’ team.

You didn't need any superpower because you already were a force of nature of your own. Skilled in combat, a perfect spy, spoke eight languages, could aim a target and get the middle of it with closed eyes.

That day Steve was going to the gym with Bucky and when they arrived to the gym, they saw you. There you were. You wore a catsuit like Natasha's, all black and tight. Damn tight. Your fit but shapely body wrapped around that leather like it was made for it. And that's what Steve saw first, mainly because you two girls were moving in a sort of quick but graceful dance, shooting at simulation targets around the room.

And then all of a sudden you stopped, the simulation ending, and started to laugh. You gave Nat your guns and turned around. That's when Steve knew, he just knew that he was doomed. Your smile was the most beautiful thing that he'd ever seen. Your sharp but sweet features, your hair hair tied up in a ponytail with just a few strands of hair down in the corners of your angelic face.

When you saw them you stopped laughing, not having realized their presence, and smiled shyly. Steve was literally melting.

-Hey fellas. I'd like to introduce you to one of my best friends and best agents I know, Y/n. She's the new recruit sent by Fury.- Natasha came back without the guns while the two men edged closer.

-Hey there. Welcome to the team, i'm- - Bucky offered his hand, which you took gladly.

-Bucky Barnes, yeah not exactly a stranger.- you joked smiling, he returned the smile.

Steve was still looking at you, not realizing that it would've probably scared you off, but instead you offered your hand to him too, locking eyes.

-Y/n. I guess you must be Captain Rogers.- you teased with a smirk. He cleared his throat and shook your hand.

-Uh, yes. It's a pleasure Y/n.- he breathed out giving you a little smile.

-All mine.- you responded, he chocked on his spit widening his eyes for a moment. Bucky was trying not to burst out laughing for how awkward his best friends was being, meanwhile Nat was looking at him like he was an alien.

-P-pardon?- he coughed out. You frowned a little biting your lip to stop smiling.

-The pleasure to meet you, captain. All mine.- you explained.

-Yeah, obviously. Uhm, alright see you, uhm.. later I guess. Welcome, again. Oh, call me Steve, please.- he blurted scratching his neck with his hand. You smiled sweetly.

-Thank you, Steve.- his name rolled on your tongue so perfectly that made him think of a few different scenarios, but before he could embarass himself further he gave a slap on Bucky's back, making him jolt forward in surprise.

-What the f-- he looked at the blonde with confusion.

-C'mon Buck, we have to take take of that business.- he basically dragged him towards the door.

-What business?- he furruwed his eyebrows.

-Fury's goddamn business, now hurry the fuck up.- he smiled through gritted teeth and whispered the last part.

And like that they left the gym. The two girls looked at each other and bursted out laughing.

-They seem nice.- you commented, cossing your arms.

-They are. But i'm gonna be honest, i've never seen Steve so flustered before. You must have left him quite, interested.- she marked the last word. You looked at her confused and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

-Oh, for god's sake, Nat. He just met me, and i'm really nothing special. He's fucking Captain America, c'mon.- you rolled your eyes. She rose an eyebrow.

-Okay, if you say so. But it's true, what I said before. Also, you're a bomb, so shut it.-

Yeah. You gave that day exactly a month before you found yourself pressed against the wall, with Steve’s lips on your neck and moans spilling from your mouth.

-I've wanted to do this since the moment I saw you in that goddamn suit in the gym.- he muttered in between kisses. You smiled, taking his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you.

-Well, i'm glad you finally took a stand, cap.- he groaned and kissed you feverishly.

You ended up spending the night together, and when in the morning you woke before him, you started to dress yourself up, but he grabbed your wrist gently, making you turn to look at him.

He was really a sight. Dirty blonde hair a mess, bright blue eyes still sleepy, mouth curled in a smirk and his features soft. And cherry on top, he was stark naked, the sheets covering just above his groin. It really took all your mental strenght to not jump on him right then and there.

-Hey handsome.- you said lowly before continuing to get dressed. You put on your nude lace bra and panties before slipping on the simple dress that you wore the evening before. Tony had organized a little get together, nothing too fancy luckly.

-Where are you going?- Steve said, getting up. He put his boxers on, walking close to you. You looked down.

-Back to my room?- you asked rethorically. Steve stayed silent for a couple of minutes. You looked up again and saw that he looked a little hurt.

-You regret...tonight?- he muttered and your heart sank.

-What?- you asked.

-Did...did I do something wrong?- you shook your head. You were kind of confused by his behaviour. He just wanted a one night stand right? Or that's what you thought.

-No!- you exclaimed quickly -No, no, why do you say that? I mean..you don't- you don't want me to go?- this time it was his turn to be confused.

-What? No! I..I mean if you regret it or just consider it a one time thing, then I'm never gonna talk about that again, but-

-Was it, for you?- you interrupted him. He looked at you.

-Not for me, no. But if you want we can forget ab- you interrupted him again, this time with a kiss. You latched your arms aroud his neck and he hugged your waist tight. You kissed for a few seconds and then parted to breathe.

-I take it as a no?- he smirked and you chuckled.

The team almost threw a party when you said that you were officially together a copule months after. They all saw the chemistry between the two of you, plus Bucky and Nat were finally free from both your rambling about the other. Months passed and you and Steve became closer and more in love every day, so exactly one year after, he proposed to you. Needless to say that you said yes.

After a few months from the wedding you had some things in your mind. You and Steve always used protection in the first six months of your relationship, but then you just stopped. At first it had been a silly and quite risky decision, but then you noticed that no problem had come up, so you didn't thought about it anymore.

But now, you were actually married, in love, and you both wanted children. You didn't actually decided to try, but it was in the air. And the fact that neither of you came up with the prevention stuff actually confirmed it.

So while doing a little reckoning you realized that it was a bit more than a year that you were having unprotected sex, and nothing happended. Sometimes all it takes is just one time to 'fuck up', but...you didn't knew what was bothering you. So one day you decided to ask Bruce for advice. He was a doctor after all.

So you did just that. You went to the labs’ floor in the avengers tower and asked Friday in which one he was.

-Doctor Banner is in the biology lab with mr. Stark right now, mrs. Rogers.-

-Thank you Friday.- you headed to the biology lab and knocked, then came in. The two men smiled at you.

-Hey Y/n. Friday informed me that you wanted to see me?- Bruce asked sweetly. You nodded, stepping closer. They were busy with some papers and Tony was handling some files in hologram form.

-Yes. Uhm, can we talk alone? Or maybe I can come back later if you want.- Tony closed the files with a swirl of his hand and shook his head.

-Don't worry sugar, it's nothing that can't wait. I'm gonna grab a coffe in the meantime. Banner?- he squeezed gently your shoulder before heading to the door. The doctor shook his head, removing his glasses.

-I'm okay.- Tony nodded and closed the door after him. Bruce invited you to sit on a stool near him. You did and then took a deep breath. He was waiting, and also a little worried from the look you had on your face.

-Okay, first of all, I know that it's not your field and I actually came to you for medical advice so, uhm..if you're not comfortable- you started to ramble a bit, and that's when he placed his hand on yours. You looked up at him.

-Y/n, I am a doctor, but first, I'm your friend. Also, in the last years I dealt with many things that weren't exactly in my field, so there's a little left to surprise me.- he gave you a lopsided smile.

You bit your lip nervously. You weren't this shy and awkward usually, quite the opposite actually. You trusted Bruce with your life, but speaking with him about your sex life wasn't really on top of the list. Also you wore a sort of armor made of irony and cold minded decisions, but the truth is that when things came to a more personal level it made you uncomfortable. That's why you were going to leave Steve after your first night together in the first place. To try and protect yourself before others made you.

-Okay. Uhm.- you swallowed hard before talking. -I'm starting to wonder if there's, you know, something wrong with me.- he frowned.

-A little more specific, please.-

-I'm starting to think that I'm infertile.- you said just above to a whisper. Bruce remained quite surprised. He didn't really know what to expect, but he didn't expect that. His features softened and he concentrated, trying to remeber the few lessons that he attended in college.

-Oh. Okay, first of all, how are things between you and Steve?- he asked, knowing that you would understand what he meant.

-We are fine. We were using uhm.. condoms until a few months before the wedding, but since then we stopped. I made a few countings and it's a bit over than a year, circa.- he nodded, narrowing his eyes a little, thinking.

-Okay. And nothing happened? Like a false alarm, symptoms of some kind? Your periods are regualr?- you shook your head.

-No, nothing happened, and that's actually the reason that I'm here. And no, I'm quite regualr, I suffer a lot the first cuple of days, but that's normal.- you shrugged. He nodded again.

-But, are you two actually trying to have a baby? Or it's just a doubt of yours?-

-Well, we did talk about kids a long time ago, and it's kinda why we stopped taking precautions, but no, we are not organized or nothing.-

-But you want to.- he says, more like a statement than a question. You bite your lip, realizing that you might cry.

-Yes.- you confess.

-Okay, listen Y/n. You're right, it's not exactly my field, but I can ask to a trusted person that I know for advice. I know already that we'll have to do at least a couple of ecographies, and It must be while you have your period.-

-It should arrive in a few days actually, next week maximum.- you say, looking at your hands in your lap. You were already feeling a little pain in your lower belly and you were hungry all the time, so it was quite certain.

-Alright. I'm gonna make a call, and then I'll tell you what we have to do.- you nod and raise from the stool.

-Thank you, Bruce.- you smiled a little, trying to hide your worry.

-Of course. If I can ask, does Steve know?- you feared that he would ask, but you shook your head anyways.

-No. I want to know first. It may be just a preoccupation of mine and I wouldn't want to upset him. Also, please, this stays between us.-

-Don't worry, this is safe with me.-

Bruce asked you to come in the infirmary five days after your conversation. You were in the first couple of days of your period, like he asked. You came down from your room to the lab and Friday let you in.

-Hi.- you saluted Bruce that turned from the ecography machine and smiled.

-Hey sweetheart. You okay?-

-Yeah, just feeling a little shitty. Usual pain.- you shrug.

-I'm sorry.- he said softly -Please open your hoodie, raise your shirt and unbutton your pants.- he asks calmly. You do as he says while he puts on latex gloves. You hop on the medical couch and wait, hands resting on your chest.

-Okay. So, I spoke to this old colleague which is a gynecologist. She told me that, like I said, we have do to two ecographies. The first at the beggining of the period, and the second at the end. Then I will send her the results, and if there's something else to do, we will. Or it may be that everything's fine and it will end there. At that point you should talk to Steve about an ovulation schedule, that doesn't sound romantic at all- he chuckled a bit -But it could help.- he explained. You nodded, silently.

-For now let's stick to this. Sorry, the gel's a little cold.- you didn't really felt it when he applied it though. A trained spy sure isn’t scared off by some sold gelatine. He started to examin your lower belly, remaining silent. A few minutes later he cleaned the tool and put in his place.

-Here are some paper towels, clean up and you can dress up.- he palced his hand on your shoulder for a second. He had a calming effect, and you couldn't be more greatful for it.

You cleaned yourself from the gel and stood to button up your pants. He was writing something on the laptop, but then he directed to you his attention.

-You okay?- you nodded.

-Good. Well, that's it. We'll have another in...four days?- you responded with an okay, thanked him and went out.

While you were going towards the kitchen, you heard a few laughs and considered to turn your heels, not in the mood, but a voice stopped you.

-Hey doll, how you doin'?- Bucky jogged towards you smiling. He always called you that, for affection and also to piss Steve off, but you didn't mind at all. You loved Bucky. You became fast friends in the moment you arrived. That's why as soon as he was less than a few feet away you started to cry. His smile dropped and his brows knitted in worry. He came to you and enclosed you in his arms. You face on his chest, sobbing.

-What happened? Sshh, honey. C'mon, let's go somewhere a little private.- He looked around and you both stepped in the elevator and he pressed the button for the private rooms floor.

You arrived and he lead you to your and Steve's shared room, you press your hand on the handle and it opens automatically, thanks to your fingerprints.

Bucky closes the door and you sit on the bed. You hold out a hand for him and he takes it. You both lay down on the bed while he hugs you.

-What's wrong honey? Uh?- he asks softly. Someone could say that it's not that normal for you to stay that close to him, being married to another man, but it wasn't the case. You considered Bucky like a big brother-best friend, he cared too much about Steve and you to even do something bad. He even cried like a baby the day of your wedding. You all teased him for months for it and he just said that pollen was making him lacrimate. But he actually told you that he was happy, and that no one more than you two deserved to be happy.

-I'm just a little stressed. Also, my belly fucking hurts. I need to cuddle but my husband's away on a mission. Again.- you sniffed, and snuggled closer to his chest, he tightened his grip a little.

-I'm sorry sweetheart.- he said. After a few seconds he tried to move, and your head snapped up.

-Where are you going?- he got out of the bed.

-I'm just going down to grab a few things, It'll be a minute.- he kissed your forhead and headed out.

You took a deep breath and took off your shoes, changing in your sweatpants and Steve’s sweater. Then you procedeed to take off your bra, ‘cause your boobs hurt like hell. You played a little with your phone, upset that you couldn't call Steve.

The rule on mission was that the one away should always call first, that means they have time to talk. He had been away for two days and it was expected to return in three days along with Nat, Tony, Wanda, Thor and Sam.

You just needed to cry. You've never been one of those cry babies, it came to you just when you were really really upset and angry. And now you just needed a break from all the thoughts in your head.

Bucky came back knocking a few minutes later. When you opened the door you saw his hands stuffed with things. He had brought choccolate, some water, latte, knowing that you prefer coffe over tea, a few aspirins and at least four or five movies. You smiled at him fondly and when he had finally put down all what he had brought, you jumped on him, hugging him tightly. He just chuckled and reciprocated the embrace.

You both go on the bed, surrounded by all the food that he brought, sipping your drinks. You had taken an aspirin right away, so now you were feeling a little better. You had decided to watch Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, but you weren't really paying attention to it. It was one of your favourite movies, you could basically play it by memory line for line, but right now you realized that you had to talk to someone or you would explode.

So you told Bucky about all the stress, the fact that Steve was often away, not by his choice, on missions, and that you missed him terribly. With a little of courage you even told him about your doubts and the exams with Bruce. He looked a little taken back by the reveal, and said that Steve never mentioned anything about trying to have a baby, but he said that he would accompany you to the next ecography. That's because you didn't want to tell Steve, even if he said that you should because he would want to know, but he didn't push you.

He was really understanding and sensitive about it. He told you that no matter what there wouldn't have been nothing wrong with you, and that anyway there are other options to have a baby. You cried a little more until you fell asleep on his chest.

End of part one. How is this so far? What do you think will happen? Could it be interesting? Please let me know. Even tho I sure hope y’all are bc I already have some more parts ready, but it’s not finished yet.

Also, I’m REALLY trying not to write the reader too affectionate with Bucky, but it’s making me literally sweat. I just love him too much.

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