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alpines-bucky · 3 years

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No one said Starks weren't a little dramatic

This is the first time I write Tony x daughter reader I hope you guys like it :)

Word Count: 2319 ( Things got a bit out of my hands while I was editing and eventhough it's edited I can't promise that there aren't any typos and I dtill wasn't satisfied with what I wrote but 🤷‍♀️Ig )

Warnings: Major character death, a lot of angst

Y/N loses her dad when he decides to save the universe with a snap of his fingers but when did anyone see a Stark not getting what they want? Let me answer for you, Never. ( AKA Y/N gambles with time and space and universes surprisingly there isn't any VA involved cause in my opinion they suck to save her dad but apparently there are always consequences)

Y/N had arrived at her destination albeit being a little late. She wanted to be there when the team tried to go back in time to get the Stones in hopes of saving aunt Tasha too but she had one and only shot at this so she had to make do with what she had. What she didn’t realise was she accidentally changed universes instead of going back in time.

The way she found out that the place she had arrived wasn’t when or where she intented to was Morgan, the little girl with big Brown eyes who had total control over her older sister the second they met. Y/N had to lay low and do her research before approaching them. But when she heard about Morgan she had to meet her before doing what she came to do. And that’s exactly what she did.

She found Morgan in a house by the lake with a woman who she assumed was Pepper.Her visit was short since she couldn’t afford getting caught by Pepper which would mean jeopardising the whole plan she had spent months making. She left a message for her dad before going off to save the man itself.

Her dad was fighting with Thanos when she arrived to the scene. The more she looked around the more it looked like the place she fought along with her dad and that meant one thing, she had to act quick.

‘’I am inevitable’’ Thanos said as he snapped his finger but nothing happened. Confused, he looked at his gauntlet to find that the Stones that were there a minute ago were no longer in their places. He looked around to see that Tony had them somehow.

‘’And I’m Iron Man’’ said Tony full of emotions as he was about to snap his fingers. He thought having all six Stones in his hands would kill him being a mortal and he was fine with it if that meant she could ensure his family’s security but he felt nothing. He thought he had died instantly but he found out that wasn’t the case when he got startled by an unknown voice.

‘’Oh, the hell with that!’’ said a girl who wore a similar suit to Tony’s. She seemed to appear out of nowhere. Which confused both man further.

‘’Who the hell are you?’’ asked Tony. Who the hell was mad enough decided to mess up the only chance of him stopping the big purple psycho of a man.

‘’Who do you think?’’ said the girl, winking at him confidentally but her eyes told a different story. There was sadness in them, grief and loss but it seemed like she was happy at the same time.What surprised him was the familiarity she carried but he couldn’t put his finger on it. So he searched her suit for some clues which led up to him finding the Stones. She was the reason he was not dead, she somehow got possession of the Stones.

‘’Kid, no!’’ yelled Tony. He attempted to get closer to her but she snapped her fingers before he could stop her. Everything stilled for a second. The other avengers thought Tony had done it as Thanos’ soldiers had started to turn to dust all of a sudden but when they found a girl that they’ve never seen before in the arms of Tony with fetal injuries they were puzzled. They gathered around Tony and the girl who struggled tos tay alive.

‘’I made it! I… I saved you, Dad.’’Tony was shocked at her words. He was processing what he heard as Pepper landed next to them and kneeled. They couldn’t Wrap their heads around what was happening but they both were not going to let a dying kid down for sure.

She had a difficulty breathing, she was in agonizing pain but she had a peaceful smile on her face. She tried to lift her hand but it pained her more, she whimpered. Tony sensed her intentions and put her hand on his cheek for her. He put his hand on top of her, gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘’Friday, what do we have?’’ asked Tony.

‘’3 to 4 degree burns from her right hand up to her face. Internal bleeding. Her lungs are collapsing... Life functions critical.’’ Answered the voice from both of the suits. Pepper grimaced, she didn’t know who this girl was but she had sacrificed herself for Tony, the man she referred ‘dad’. ‘’Who are you?’’ asked Pepper.

‘’I’m–‘’ she coughed, blood was pooling in her mouth. ‘’I’m surprised you couldn’t figure it out yet…’’ she let out a bloody laugh. ‘’I’m Y/N. Y/N Stark.’’ She said with her last breath. That shook the whole group to their cores. The girl wasn’t lying or confusing Tony with someone else. The girl who lied in his Tony’s arms nonbreathing was infact the daughter of Tony Stark. From the moment they realised the truth everything was a blur to the Stark Family and the avengers.

Y/N was Tony’s first daughter who had died in a cross fire 7 years ago. She was a teenager at the time. She would have been a few years older than Peter if she had lived. It was a wrong place wrong time type of situation, she had died on the scene. Tony had nightmares after that, his insomnia got worse. He had blamed himself although it had nothing to do with him. The guilt ate him alive day by day. He realised why the girl’s eyes were so familiar to him now, she was his Y/N/N. A grown, older version of her, but his Y/N nontheless.

He didn’t think he could recover from her death but losing her, seeing her die in his arms for the second time ruined him. He had no idea what was happening outside of his head, he was in a trance, he had stayed still looking at his hands where Y/N laid. Until his little girl, Morgan came up to him with a disk in hand and said ‘’Daddy! Daddy! A girl called Y/N wanted me to give this to you’’ That got everyone’s attention.

Tony told Friday to scan the disk and display whatever is in it. When he saw Y/N in front of her, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling and when she started speaking as if she could see her Tony lost it. He couldn’t hear her because of his own sobs, he didn’t even realised the rest of the avengers and his wife as they piled in the room when they heard Tony and Y/N’s voice. He had to stop the hologram a few times to gather himself. When he got control of his breathing, he built up his courage and displayed it all over again.

‘’Hey dad. I’m assuming since you are watching this I suceed. I’ve saved you.’’ She had to stop for a second to take a breath in to compose herself. ‘This time’ she said under her breath but Friday caught it.

‘’You are wondering how the hell I am alive. Well… For starters, I didn’t know that I was dead in this world which… makes you realise that I’m not from this world. I’m actually from what you call an alternative universe. Things got out of hand in my universe after… after you… Oh shit! This is too hard. I knew I couldn’t do this shit! I can’t even talk to my own god damn suit picturing it as my hypothetical dad without messing it up’’ that made a few people chuckle and a few others tos mile. The girl really was his father’s child after all.

‘’Okay I’m hoping you either won’t have to watch this or I can cut that part before giving it to Morgan. Anyways, I’m rambling.’’ Tony saw his younger self in Y/N which put a sad smile to his face. This was something he never got to experience before. To see her this grown up. To see a pieces of him in her.

‘’ So things went down hill after you did the whole ‘I’m Iron Man’ thing –which by the way I’m still mad at you about- You… You died in my hands, dad.’’ She gulped. She had begun crying a while ago but now that she was talking about her dad’s death, she felt like the lump in her throat got bigger and bigger, suffocating her. ‘’ I was all alone for years! You were all I had and then within a second you were gone! I didn’t have anyone else!’’ She tried to calm herself. She wasn’t recording this to make him feel guilty or get answers she was possibly never going to hear. This was a goodbye. A goodbye she knew he deserved just like how she did from him.

‘’That’s why I made the decision to change it but I accidentally changed universes instead of going back in time. But this was my only chance, only shot at making it right. And then I found out that I had died in this universe and you had moved on. Good for you, dad. I’m really proud of you. You did what I couldn’t. It was a relief to know that you were happy and that you had a family now. I thought for a second that maybe the blip didn’t happen. That in this universe, you had a lovely life and I thought for a second maybe I could be in it too. Stay with you but that hope was shortly lived.’’ She gave a sad smile.

‘’And now I’m about to go to the battle field. Before I go, I have to say, I don’t know how if there is any way for me to stop you. I can’t take it all back but I will do anything to not let another girl grow up without her dad. And I ain’t going to let my own sister down. Oh, did you know that I always wanted a sister?’’ she chuckled making Tony’s heart warm. It has been so long since he heard his daughter chuckle the damn way he does. She stopped for a second to think ‘’Well, she has the Stark charm, that’s for sure. I only knew her for a few hours and she had me the second we met. I wish I could be there for her as her older sister. I would give anything to see her grow up but if that has to be for only one of us to see, I’d rather that be you because I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to lose your dad. I could see clearly what she would have to go through and the moment I realised that I knew what I had to do. I would stop you at all costs and since this reacording is being played I could sleep peacefully knowing she has you.’’ She smiled with tears escaping her eyes once again. Tony was full of emotions. His daughter he has been longing for years was right in front of him but way too far away at the same time.

With a sigh she started ‘’ You have people you can hold on to. I never did. Pepper, Morgan, Rhodey, the spider kid... Hold on to them Tony. Hold on to the team. Oh, speaking of the team, tell them I love them and I missed them so badly. I’m sorry. I thought I was going to have more time to talk And maybe if a miracle happens and we all can manage to stay alive I could tell you all about it but I have to go now. Have an old man to save’’ She saluted and looked around right where the broken team of Avengers were with longing in her eyes. She moved closer to the disk to cut the recording but decided against it the last second. Tony hung his head, his heart broke to hear the hope in her voice when he knew what already happened. He thought this was the end of the recording but he looked up when he heard her talking and she had turned to him and looked right at him as if she knew where he was stated. That sent shivers up Tony’s spine.

‘’I know you think I made the wrong decision but I saved you. I refuse to let you down once again. I refuse to see you die in front of me once again. I’m not sorry for what I’m about to do, I knew the consequences when I made this plan months ago. I’m only sorry because although I tried so much to have the future we always talked about with you, I won’t be able to, Tones. But Morgan will be. And I would give up anything for that little girl. And for you.’’ She said as she caressed the necklace Tony gave her when she was a child. She took the chain out of her neck and put it somewhere Tony couldn’t see. And Tony knew this was only a tape but he tried to hold on to his daughter, to stop her from going out there. His breath caught in his throat when his hands went through Y/N’s body. He fell to his knees.

‘’ But hey if it turns out that I, this badass manage to get both of us home in one peace one we can laugh our asses off as we watch me being the drama queen that I am… Well, no one said Starks weren’t a bit dramatic.’’ The heart Tony thought had broken to a million pieces broke further as he heard the tremble in her voice as she tried to put her brave face on. But she couldn’t hide it when one last tear escaped from her slightly swollen eyes as she ended the recording.

Why do I never have good endings? Cause I write in the middle of the night when I feel sad most of the time and it's easier to write sad than it is to write happy.

I hope you liked it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. I'd also like to discuss if you'd like the alternative ending that could be a happy one :)

#avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #avengers endgame #tony x daughter!reader #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony fanfiction #tony fanfic #stark reader #tony x reader #tony x you #tony x y/n #tony stark #avenger reader #avengers fic #marvel fic

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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years

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“If you want me to, I will.” [Hotch x Reader]

masterlist

Summary: Reader has worked for Aaron Hotchner for the past 6 months as the babysitter to his son, Jack.

Pairing: Hotch x (Female) Reader

Word Count: 7.4k – she thicc

Category: Smut/Fluff…and some angst because of who I am as a person.

Content Warning:

A/n: We all know that Hotch’s favorite album is the Beatles "White Album." And I have odd choices for songs that I use as lullabies. This idea came into my head and never left. This video of Billie Eillish singing part of the song is the closest to the structure of how I imagined it. Okay, okay, look, I know Roy wasn’t diagnosed until season 10. But I am taking creative liberties because I needed Jack to be younger.

Meaning this would be set around season 7. Hotch would be about 41, Jack is around 7; so, I made Reader around 26, giving them a 15-year age gap. Please don’t check my math. 😌

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized texts are Reader’s thoughts.

-- If you want me to, I will. --

I was disoriented when I woke up. This isn’t my bed, I thought groggily. Wait…this isn’t even my house.

“Y/n,” a deep voice rumbled beside me.

I jackknifed up into a sitting position, eyes wide and my face flushed with embarrassment. “Mr. Hotchner!” I quickly brought my hand up to my cheek to make sure I hadn’t drooled in my sleep. Because that would really be the cherry on top of my embarrassment. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep. This is so embarrassing.”

Mr. Hotchner had been crouched down, putting himself level with his living room couch; the same couch he came home and found me sleeping on. In all the months I’d worked for the Hotchner/Brooks family, I’d never seen Mr. Hotchner smile anytime he wasn’t talking to his son, Jack. He always looked incredibly serious and sometimes incredibly sad; but the normal scowl was missing from his face as he looked at me, I noticed, watching him rise to a standing position.

“It’s fine, y/n. It’s after 1 o’clock in the morning.” He shifted, turning to go open the gun safe he kept in the part of the living room where his desk sat. Mr. Hotchner, or Hotch, as he kept telling me to call him, was the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit with the FBI. Which was just a very fancy way of saying he was a profiler that was in charge of all the other profilers. Some people just look like the jobs they have; Mr. Hotchner was one of those people. “Thank you for staying late, I didn’t think things were going to run this long. I didn’t even know you were here until I called Jessica a few hours ago.”

“Oh, right,” I mumbled as I began to gather my things from the coffee table and put them into my bag. “She called me a little after 4; something happened with her dad, I think.” I zipped my bag shut, standing up quickly. “I didn’t mind helping out, Mr. Hotchner.”

He made a sound that was almost a chuckle. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Hotchner, y/n. I know I’m a lot older than you, but that makes me feel ancient.”

“You’re not that much older than me,” I protested.

He looked incredulous. “Y/n, you’re still in college.”

Well, that stings a bit. “I’m in graduate school,” I said, my voice dampening a little bit. “I’m almost 27.”

Mr. Hotchner blinked at me. “Really? I thought you were younger than that…”

“My age didn’t come up in the numerous background checks you did on me?” I scoffed, immediately wincing as the words flew out of my mouth. “Oh my god, I just keep making this worse.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner. For falling asleep on your couch…and for every moment after that. I’ll just go now.”

"Y/n," he called. "hang on, it's really late, and…I still need to pay you."

Jesus. “It is late, Mr. Hotchner, that’s why I need to head home.” I forced an awkward laugh. “I have class at 9 am.”

He pushed his hands into his pockets, regarding me in a way that made me squirm. I wasn’t used to a person paying attention to me the way Mr. Hotchner did. It didn’t make me uneasy; I just felt like I couldn’t hide anything from him…which made me uneasy. “What classes are you taking this semester?”

I don’t know why it stung so much that he knew virtually nothing about me. I’d worked for him for 6 months; he wasn’t obligated to know anything about me other than how I took care of his son. “I’m actually done with my course work this semester,” I mumbled. “I’m a TA…in a class that starts at 9 am.” It doesn’t matter, you’re just tired. “You-you can just pay me for tonight the next time I’m over. It’s not like you’re gonna stiff me.” I walked over to the door and threw a very quick “goodnight, Mr. Hotchner” over my shoulder before I scurried out.

I missed the quiet “Aaron. You can call me Aaron.”

The entire drive home, my thoughts were on Aaron Hotchner. None of this was what I expected when I took this job. I had been in graduate school for 2 years now. I had already gotten my master’s degree and had been accepted into the Ph.D. program. There are many branches of psychology, but I had always been fascinated with cognitive psychology; it seemed only natural that that is what I would pursue in graduate school. Once it became time to focus my interest in preparation for my dissertation, I decided to study the cognitive decay in Alzheimer's patients. We knew that they lost memories, but I wanted to explore how their basic cognitive functions were affected in certain settings.

As part of my program, I was a TA in an intro psych class, and I conducted my research at the hospital connected to the university. That’s where I first met Jessica Brooks. Despite getting a stipend for my teaching assistant work, I had been taking odd jobs to help make ends meet; D.C. wasn't cheap. When I mentioned that I had experience with kids, Jessica had immediately told me that she was needing help caring for her nephew in the wake of her father, Roy's diagnosis. She wanted to keep him at home, which was both admirable and time-consuming.

I wasn’t prepared for the gigantic background check that I was subjected to. I very quickly learned that my potential employer had some power at the FBI. Jessica had raved to him about me, so he agreed to meet with me. When Jessica told me he worked for the FBI, I was expecting a bureaucrat, kind of short, receding hairline, soft from sitting behind a desk all day.

Aaron Hotchner was none of those things. He was a total cliché; he was tall, dark, and handsome. His eyes were such a deep brown they were almost black, his hair was black, and he towered over me. His hand was firm when he shook mine. I initially thought he didn’t like me because of the scowl he wore on his face; now I knew that was just his default expression. I’m pretty sure he invented Resting Bitch Face. I think it was my meeting with Jack that sealed the deal. We had clicked right away. The 7-year-old was impressed by my knowledge of both DC and Marvel comics. I could still remember our first meeting so clearly; when in a move that I now know is so much like his father, he had asked me an interview question of his own.

“What is Spiderman’s middle name?” the boy had asked with a suspicious squint of his eyes.

This kid is poser checking me, I had thought with amusement. “That would depend on which Spiderman you’re referring to. Assuming it’s Peter Parker, his middle name is Benjamin.”

We were best friends after that.

I loved Jack; I really did. And I was paid well enough that he was the only child I babysat for, the rest of my time spent working on my research and plotting my dissertation. It was clear that Aaron Hotchner loved his son, and he felt guilty for not being around more. He was fierce and intimidating any other time, but once he was with his son, his entire face would transform. His smiles came easier, his eyes twinkled, and he didn’t seem so scary anymore.

None of that is why he made me nervous, though. What made me so nervous is the fear that one day I was going to spend enough time with him for him to see the feelings I had so stupidly developed for him.

The very next night, I was hiding in the kitchen floor in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment.

“Ready or not, here I come!” the little voice called out before his feet started stomping loudly across the floor.

From my position behind the kitchen counter, I tried very hard to remain silent, despite my amusement. Jack Hotchner was many wonderful, wonderful things. Sneaky was not one of them. Which is why I wasn’t surprised when I heard his little feet hurry towards me, and I didn’t lose my balance when he turned the corner and launched himself at me. “Oomph!” was the only reasonable sound to make when a tiny human slammed into you.

Jack was delighted. “I FOUND YOU!”

My response was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Jack was off me in a flash, barreling towards the living room. “Daddy!”

Mr. Hotchner made a similar “oomph” noise when Jack jumped on him, confirming my theory. I rose to my feet quickly, smoothing down my clothes.

“We were playing hide and seek, Daddy!” Jack informed his father. “I found y/n every time! She never found me once!” His chest puffed out with pride, making my face break into a smile.

“You’re just an excellent hider, Jack-attack.”

Mr. Hotchner’s eyes settled on my face then, for just a moment I saw something so sad in those eyes that the breath seized in my lungs.

He cleared his throat, seeming to shake off whatever he was thinking before smiling at his son. “I’m glad you had a good time with, y/n, buddy.”

Jack nodded vigorously. “I helped make dinner!”

“You did?” He questioned in fake astonishment. “When did you make dinner?”

“Tonight!”

Mr. Hotchner looked at me quizzically. “Oh, um, I wasn’t actually supposed to watch Jack tonight…but Jessica called and asked if I could. It was really last minute, and she’d already bought some stuff to make dinner…” I trailed off. “I hope that’s okay. Jesus Christ, y/n. You’re a 26-year-old woman, get it together.

His attention moved from me to his son. "Jack, go get changed into your pj's. It's almost bedtime." When Jack's mouth opened to protest this great injustice, his father went on. "You can tell y/n bye when you're done."

So much for a speedy escape, I thought. Instead, I just smiled at him. "Yep, I'll be right here, little man." Satisfied with this, Jack jumped out of his father's arms and ran towards his room.

“Why did Jessica need you to come over? Did something happen with Roy?” He looked genuinely worried, walking into the kitchen to stand near me.

I reached out and put a hand on his arm without thinking. "Oh, oh god no, nothing like that." Realizing I was touching him, I snatched my hand back like he'd burned me. "Sorry. She…she-um had a date."

His eyebrows rose so high they almost hit his hairline. “A date?” he asked, disbelief dripping from his words.

I chuckled. “That’s what she told me.”

He walked back into the living room then, leaning back against the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he focused his dark gaze on me. “What about you?”

“…What about me what?”

“Does Jessica ever have to cover for you when you have dates?”

If Aaron Hotchner hadn’t made me so nervous, I might have picked up on how he phrased that question. As it happens, all I could do was fidget under his gaze. “Oh,” I chuckled nervously. “Ah, no. She doesn’t have to do that. I don’t really date.”

That had one of his eyebrows rising, his arms crossing across his chest. "Why?"

Because I want you to crack my back like a glowstick. “Um…you know, it’s hard to find the time.”

Thankfully Jack chose that moment to come barreling out of his room, charging full force at me. “You’re still here!” he exclaimed.

I smiled down at him when his arms wrapped around my hips. I put one hand on the back of his head, the other on his back, giving him a squeeze. “Of course I am! I couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he mumbled.

My throat worked as a sudden wave of emotion hit me. "Oh, Jack," my voice was thicker than usual when I spoke. "I don't like leaving you either, but you'll see me before you know it. I promise."

Once we had finally pried Jack off me, Mr. Hotchner went to take him to bed. He turned to me when he scooped Jack up in his arms. “Thank you for today.”

“It’s no problem, Mr. Hotchner.”

“You know you don’t have to call me that,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “Most people call me Hotch. Or you could call me Aaron.”

I didn't know what to say to that; all I could do was give him an awkward smile. I was gone before he came back into the living room. I didn't want to leave, I never did, but I couldn't risk being alone with…Aaron.

The following Thursday night, my phone started ringing just after 11:30. Glancing at it, I saw it was Jessica. “Hey,” I said in greeting.

“Hey, y/n,” she said, sounding frazzled. “I have a huge favor to ask. Dad’s home health nurse had to leave early tonight.” “Is something wrong with Melinda?” I hope not. She’s the sweetest.

“No, I don’t think so. But she needs to go home and there’s no one to sit with Jack. But Aaron isn’t home yet…”

“I’ll be there in 20.”

Which is why I was now in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment after midnight in a pair of shorts that were so short I only ever wore them at home and a t-shirt that I had had for forever. Jessica had sounded so upset when she called, I hadn't even thought to change. She had promised to be back as quick as she could; she said that Mr. Hotchner was flying back from a case, and she didn’t expect him until 5 a.m. at the earliest.

When I first arrived, I had tried to watch TV, my mind too wired to sleep, even though I had class at 9 am in the morning. Sighing, I glanced over at the clock to see it was just after 1:45 in the morning.

“Fuuuuuuck,” I whined out loud. I have to go to sleep; even if it’s just a little nap. I remembered Jessica had left some chamomile tea here for the nights she stayed over to watch Jack. Finding the kettle and the tea itself was no problem; the problem presented itself when I had to get a mug to put the tea in.

I had never considered myself a particularly short person; sure, I had to stretch to get things from time to time, but everybody did that. Looking up into the upper cabinets in the Hotchner house had me reconsidering that. The mugs were on the very top shelf and try as I might, I just couldn’t seem to reach them; my fingers kept grazing over the ceramic.

“Goddamnit,” I mumbled in a huff. What is the point to put mugs way the fuck up there? Some of us are a perfectly normal height…but noooo I have to work for giants. I braced my hands on the countertop as I heaved myself up on to said countertop. Once my knees were in place, I got the offending cup without further problems.

I blame how focused I was on my task for my not hearing the front door open, or the footsteps that followed. Which is why I had a mild heart attack when I heard a voice that sounded highly amused say from behind me, “What are you doing?”

Several things happened all at once, and very quickly. I let out the most embarrassing squeak in all of history, I lost my balance on the counter and the cup fell from my hand. The cup crashed to the floor and shattered. My fate might have been the same but two large hands caught me, gripping my hips from behind. I looked down to see his long fingers wrapping around my waist, gripping me tightly; my difficulty breathing then had nothing to do with how scared I was.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said softly, still not releasing me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, I get it,” I said lightly, attempting to act like I wasn’t going into cardiac arrest because he was touching me. “You’re a very stealthy FBI agent. It was bound to happen.”

He chuckled before his hands pushed my hips so I was twisting around, my legs shifting until I was sitting on the countertop, staring into the same dark eyes I thought about far too often. They weren’t as harsh as they usually were; tonight, they were soft and warm, and they made my pulse race a bit faster.

I moved to get off the counter when the hands that were still on my hips stopped me. “Hang on, let me clean this up first. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Fantastic, I thought, hiding my face in my hands. It seems I was incapable of not making a fool out of myself in front of this man.

He worked quickly while I debated changing my name and fleeing the country; in the next moment, he was standing in front of me again. "What's wrong?"

“Oh, nothing,” I said, not moving my hands. “Just dying of embarrassment.”

Aaron actually laughed at that, moving closer to stand between my thighs, his hands coming to rest on the countertop on either side of my hips. “Why are you embarrassed?”

I dropped my hands then. “Because this is becoming a pattern! First, I fell asleep on your couch, then I almost fell off your counter and cracked my head like an egg.” I bit my lip, shifting under his gaze. “I’m sorry and thank you for catching me.”

“I didn’t mind,” he said softly.

He still had that soft look on his face, but he was smiling too like he was enjoying my embarrassment. He probably is. I had never been this close to him before. I didn’t know his eyes weren’t just one flat color of brown, but that lighter shades of brown whirled throughout. I had never felt the heat of his body before, but now I was so close I could smell him. Why does he have to smell good? I whined internally. If he just stunk, I could get over this.

This was exactly why I tried very hard to stay as far away from him as possible because I lost the ability to think clearly whenever I was with him. I couldn't stop my eyes from moving down to his lips. I was eye level with him from my position on the counter; all I had to do to brush my lips across his was lean forward, so that’s exactly what I did. His body stiffened slightly at the first touch of my lips to his. I pulled back, ready to apologize when his hand wrapped around the back of my head and pulled me back to him. There was nothing soft about this kiss. His free hand gripped my thigh, my hands held on to his shirt, trying to pull him closer. My tongue brushed against his mouth before he sucked on the tip of it, causing me to shudder. He took a step forward as his tongue twirled around mine. I could feel him when he settled against me; he was hard, and I found myself shifting my hips to rub against him.

The shrill ringing of his phone broke us apart suddenly. He was panting, his cheeks were slightly flushed. I thought I heard him let out a “fuck” under his breath as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone.

“Hey Jessica,” he answered.

Now that our moment was broken, I felt very self-conscious. What the fuck did I just do?! He is my boss. He is Jack’s dad. Aaron took a step back and I slid off the counter. This turned out to be a very bad idea on my part; my body brushed down the front of his, causing me to bite my lip to silence the moan that threatened to escape.

“Yeah, I landed a little while ago,” he said as I left the kitchen.

WhatthefuckWhatthefuck. I heard him end the call with Jessica before he quickly walked into the living room. A look of relief washed over his face when he saw me. “I thought you’d try to slip away.”

“I thought about it,” I told him honestly.

“Listen, y/n, about that in the kitchen,” he began.

I held up my hands. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hotchner. I don’t know why I did that; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” I was giving him an out because I couldn’t handle hearing the rejection I knew was coming. “I just…I guess we got caught up in the moment? And you’re really tired, I’m sure. I’m so sorry.” I was rambling now. “If you don’t want me to watch Jack anymore-“

“Y/n, no,” he interrupted. “No, this…you’re right, it was just a heat of the moment thing. It happens. I’m sorry I lost myself for a moment.” He cleared his throat, his face still set in softness. “Jack loves you. He doesn’t need to suffer for any more of my mistakes.”

Mistakes. The word hollowed me out and left me cold. I just nodded. “Right,” I said in what I hoped was an even tone. “Just a mistake. I should get going. It’s really late.”

Which is how I found myself driving home at almost 3 in the morning with tears running down my cheeks. A mistake.

Things went back to normal after that night. I continued to avoid Aaron Hotchner at all costs and he…did whatever he did. I tried to hide the hurt whenever I did happen to see him, but it was so hard when I could still feel the tingle from his lips on mine.

A few days after the “mistake,” I was babysitting Jack again. He’d went to bed at his normal 8:30 and all was quiet. I decided to do some TA work while I waited for Mr. Hotchner to come home. I was halfway through grading an essay when I heard the first noise come from Jack’s room. Lifting my fingers from the keys of my computer, I waited to see if I heard another sound. I didn’t have to wait long; not even a minute passed before I heard a strained cry. Jumping up, I hurried down the hall to Jack’s bedroom.

Cracking the door open I called, “Jack-attack? Are you okay, little man?” I didn’t see him right away; he had hidden under his covers and curled up into a little ball. “Hey, Jack. It’s just y/n.” I sat down on the edge of his bed. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

I saw the lump under the blankets start to move hesitantly before I saw his brown hair peak out of the blanket near his pillow. His eyes were wide and with the light shining in from the hall, I could see tears gleam in them. “Oh, buddy,” I cooed. “Did you have a bad dream?”

The boy nodded. “Yeah…there was a bad man…and my daddy didn’t come save me.”

I felt my breath seize in my chest. Jessica had told me a brief version of what happened to Jack's mother a few years ago. "Jack, you know your dad would always do whatever he had to do to come to save you." I shifted my position on the bed until I was sitting beside him. "He'd never let anything bad happen to you." Jack started inching closer to me. I held out my arms and smiled when he lunged for me; I wrapped him in a tight hug, rubbing circles on his back.

“My dad just isn’t home a lot anymore. He has a lot of work to do,” he mumbled into my shirt.

“Your dad would be home if he could, Jack.” I couldn’t quite keep the sadness out of my voice. It wasn’t fair to either Jack or his dad that he had to be away so much.

“I know,” the little boy whispered. “I just miss him sometimes.”

“Do you want to call him?” I offered. “I don’t think he’d mind.”

Jack just shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” He turned his face up to look at me. “Will you stay with me?”

I moved so he lay beside me with my left arm still squeezed around him. “Of course, bud.” I scooted down the bed so I was reclining instead of sitting straight up, pulling the cover-up over him again. "Do you want me to read you another story?"

He just shuffled under his covers, looking at me with the bashful innocence of childhood. “Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?”

I wasn’t the biggest fan of singing in front of people, but how could I turn this little face down? I just nodded. “Do you have any requests?”

“Nope,” he answered with a little grin on his face.

Unfortunately, at that moment every single lullaby I had ever know left my head. I couldn’t think of a single traditional lullaby. So, I decided to improvise. I started singing slower songs I knew, some of them might not have been appropriate for a 7-year-old’s lullaby, but I don’t think Jack cared that much.

He was almost out, drifting on the edge between deep sleep and awake. My arm was still around his shoulder, he was still snuggled to my side. I decided one more song would be enough, which meant I pulled out my second Beatles song of the night.

“Who knows how long I’ve loved you?

You know I love you still.

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to, I will.

For if I ever saw-“

I glanced up, immediately sensing there was someone else in the room. To my horror, Jack’s father was standing in the doorway, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I swallowed nervously, then I turned to press a kiss against Jack’s soft forehead before I gently detangled myself from him. I straightened my clothes that to my further embarrassment had shifted around because I was laying with a wiggly child, then, attempting to keep my face impassive, I walked to the door, moving around his father as I exited.

Mr. Hotchner walked into the room and checked on his son, while I moved into the living room to gather my things. I wonder if he just left the money by the door, I mused. If he did, I could just make a dash for the door. I mean, if he didn’t, he could always just pay me next time. Sadly, my plans were escape were foiled yet again by the man in question entering the room.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I know he was up past his bedtime. I put him down at 8, but he had a nightmare." I was babbling, not meeting his eyes, my gaze very intently focused on my bag. "He asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep…" I finally looked up, shrugged, and said, "He's very hard to say no to."

“You don’t have to apologize for being nice to my son, y/n,” he said softly. “That’s one of my favorite songs on the White Album, you know.”

I hadn’t known that. “Mr. Hotch-“

He took a step towards me before I finished speaking. “Y/n, please, I can barely handle this as it is. Please call me Aaron.”

I just blinked up at him. “So, ‘Hotch’ is off the table now?”

That had a soft smile curving his lips upward. "That was a limited-time deal. You should have been quicker." I saw his hand rise up slowly, so slowly that I would have had time to move away…but I just couldn’t. He brushed my hair back from my face, his eyes were two pools of black in the dim light, they were swirling with something that made my stomach flutter.

“Aaron,” I breathed, having no idea what I was going to say.

He let out a soft sigh, turning his eyes upwards. When he brought them back down to mine, his hand slid from its place near my ear to cradle the back of my head. His eyes searched mine for a moment before his shoulders dropped slightly. “Fuck it,” he muttered before he leaned down and sealed his lips over mine.

I might have thought this kiss would be questioning or unsure, but there was nothing unsure about it. Aaron kissed me like he was starving for me. His teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged as he pulled away. “It wasn’t a mistake,” he breathed before bringing his lips more firmly against mine.

My hands began to move over his body; one of my hands grabbed his tie and used it to pull him closer to me, the other reached up to brush against the short, soft hair on the back of his neck. “It wasn’t?” I questioned when we broke away for air.

Aaron’s lips moved across my cheek, leaving soft kisses until he reached my ear. “No, sweet girl, it wasn’t.” His mouth moved down to my neck; his kisses turning into bites that were sure to become brushes. I didn’t care, I needed him. My hands moved to his shirt, quickly trying to undo all the buttons.

His hands moved down to the waist of my jeans, deftly flicking the button open before sliding the zipper down. “Is this what you want?” he asked as his hand touched my lower stomach, his fingers brushing over the elastic band of my panties.

“Yes,” I said, still working to free him from his shirt. “I want this so much.”

The fingers of his free hand rose up to tap my chin, forcing my eyes up until I met his gaze. "I want to hear you say my name again." His other hand lifted from my stomach to slide over the flair of my hip until he was gripping my ass. "Whenever I laid in bed that night after I had you pressed against me in my kitchen when I stroked my cock, I thought about you moaning my name.” The hand that was on my chin pulled away, skimming down my body until he was grabbing the other side of my ass. “So, say it. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you, Aaron.” So, so much.

His hands moved to the backs of my thighs, then he lifted me up his body, startling me. Jesus Christ, how strong is this guy? I threw my arms around his neck as he started walking us down towards his bedroom. A giggle escaped my lips. “I could have walked, you know.”

We had already entered his room; he tossed me gently on the bed before he turned to close and lock the door. He walked to stand at the side of his bed, his eyes devouring me. “I couldn’t give you a chance to sneak away again, sweet girl.” Aaron pulled off his tie before he finished unbuttoning his shirt, shedding it on the floor.

Fuck. Fuck, he’s hot. I pulled my own shirt over my head, and his body was on top of me before it even left my hands. Aaron's mouth moved down to my collarbones, his hand slipped behind my back to unhook my bra. Once the straps were down my arms, Aaron lifted himself up on his arms to toss it away, his eyes running over my body. "You're so beautiful," he said softly like it wasn't the sweetest compliment I'd ever been paid. He leaned over again, his lips skimming down to my chest before he wrapped his lips around one of my nipples.

“Fuck, Aaron,” I moaned.

He gave my nipple a flick with his tongue before he lifted his head. “Ssh, sweet girl. You have to be quiet. Can you do that?” He kissed his way over to my other breast. “I can’t do this if you won’t be quiet.”

“I can be quiet,” I whispered right before I bit my lip to smother my moan at the feeling of his mouth on me. “Maybe.”

His breath puffed against my skin when he laughed at me. My hands threaded through his hair when he brought his face back up to mine. My mouth opened eagerly for him, my tongue slicking over his while I tried to grind my body against him. Aaron was smiling when he broke the kiss, shifting up onto his knees. “Well, I appreciate you trying to be quiet at any rate,” he teased.

My response died in my throat when his fingers yanked my jeans off my legs, bringing my panties with them. I was totally bare in front of him. His eyes raked down my body in a way that would make me self-conscious with anyone else. How could I ever be self-conscious with a man who looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world?

But when he started to kiss further down my body, I grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him back up to kiss me. “Aaron,” I whispered.

He pressed a soft kiss to my collarbone. “What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“You don’t…you don’t have to do…that,” I mumbled, feeling my face heat up.

Aaron braced himself on his arms and stared down at me. Enlightenment dawned on his face a second later. He leaned down to kiss me softly. “Do you not want me to?”

I bit my lip, feeling more flustered. “It’s just…I’ve never…and I know that guys don’t really like-.“ My words were cut off when he placed another kiss to my lips, still incredibly soft, but with more force than before.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I won't," he said quietly. "But I can assure you, I can't think of anything more I'd rather do than lick your pussy until you cum all over my face." He skimmed his lips over my cheek to my ear. "And once you've come down, I want to slide my cock inside you and feel how soft and wet you are." His kisses moved down to my neck, his mouth sucking on my pulse point. "Then I want to fuck you until you're whimpering against my lips to make you cum again.”

I felt my core throb at his words. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. He lifted his gaze when he got back to my breast, flicking my nipple with his tongue. “Is that what you want too, sweet girl?”

I have never wanted anything more, I thought; but I was so far gone that all I could do was nod.

He gave me a soft smile, moving down the bed further to settle between my thighs, pulling them further apart. I felt a kiss pressed to one thigh, then the other. His hot breath washed over the part of me that was already so wet for him. “You’re beautiful here too,” he murmured before he pressed a kiss to my clit. I lifted my hips at the sensation, causing him to chuckle and move his hands to wrap around my thighs, his arms anchoring me in place. A second later I understood why he braced my hips. The second he flattened his tongue and licked the length of my pussy, my hips started moving involuntarily and my fingers tangled in his hair.

I felt a puff of air against me when he laughed again, and it made me smile. I didn’t expect Aaron Hotchner to be fun…or dirty in bed. All thought immediately left my head when he parted me with his tongue, dipping into my entrance before spearing his tongue into me. I felt the vibration when he moaned against me. "You taste so fucking good, y/n," he said, his voice still hushed. Giving my entrance one last lick, he moved up to my clit.

He spent time moving his tongue around me, learning what made me squirm. When he started fluttering his tongue quickly over my clit my hands started tugging on his hair and my thighs tried to snap together.

“Aaron,” I whined, attempting to rock my hips against his mouth.

I think he understood what I needed better than I did. His left hand released my thigh and moved down to my heat, just below his mouth. I felt his fingers brush over me before he pushed on inside me, causing my back to arch off the bed. “Aaron, Aaron, fuck.” He added a second finger, pumping them in a rhythm that complimented the movements of his mouth.

I wasn't prepared for when his lips closed around my clit, sucking lightly, while his fingers started to curl inside of me. “Oh my God," I moaned out, louder than I should have. "Aaron, I'm going to cum." I started pulling on his hair so hard it must have hurt, but he just moaned against me, never slowing his pace. "Aaron, fuck, please. I think…I-I-“

My words broke off as the band inside of me snapped, my pussy clamping down on his fingers and my back arching off of the bed, my mouth hanging open in a silent scream.

Aaron slowed his motions, slowly bringing me through the orgasm and back down to Earth. With one final kiss to my thigh, he rose and moved up my body until his face was hovering over mine. His lips were shiny with my arousal, they also looked a little swollen, but more importantly, they were smirking at me.

I’ll give him that one. Reaching up I cradled his jaw in my hands, bringing his mouth down to mine. I tasted myself on his lips and tongue when he licked into my mouth. Despite the powerful orgasm he had just given me, I was still desperate for him. I broke away from his mouth. “Aaron, I need you.”

He pressed another kiss to my lips before he lifted up and stood at the side of the bed, undoing the buckle of his belt. My eyes were fixed on his movements, watching as he unbuttoned his slacks and slid them down his legs. His cock was a thick pipe outlined in his underwear. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband before he spoke again. "I'll give you everything you need, greedy girl." Aaron pushed his underwear down, his cock springing free before he climbed back on the bed.

He was so much thicker than I expected he would be. I moved my hand down to wrap my fingers around him, pumping his length. He let out a groan and lowered his forehead to mine. “Baby,” he muttered. “I…fuck. I have to get a condom.”

“Aaron,” I whined. “I want to feel you inside me. I’m on birth control. Please?” The thought of anything separating me from this man was abhorrent to me in that moment.

I saw his willpower crumble. “Are you sure?”

So sure. “Please,” I begged lifting my head to kiss him. “I want you to fuck me.”

With a groan that I will remember for the rest of my life, he shifted his hips forwarded, allowing my hands to guide him to my entrance. Aaron kissed me then, slowly and deeply has he started to push inside me. My hand flew away from his cock, both my arms wrapping around his body to pull him closer to me. I felt my nails digging into his back.

Aaron broke our kiss with another soft moan that sounded like my name. “I knew you’d feel like this,” he whispered, pressing deeper inside me. “I knew your pussy would be this fucking tight, this fucking hot, and so fucking soft." He started moving in and out of my pussy, going in a little further each time. “You still have to be quiet, sweet girl.”

“I’m trying,” I moaned, my pussy already starting to flutter around him when he finally pushed all the way inside of me. “Aaron, fucking Christ.” I felt him everywhere, and I somehow still craved more.

He grabbed my thigh, pulling if further up his side, allowing himself to sink deeper inside of me. “I know, sweet girl. I know.” He started a slow pace, pulling almost all the way out of me before slamming back inside me.

My head was thrashing against the pillows, my teeth digging into my bottom lip. “Aaron, I need you to fuck me harder. Please.”

He groaned at my words, placing a sloppy kiss to my mouth before pulling back. He pulled one of my legs up until it was over his shoulder, the other still wrapped around his waist, and then he started to move faster inside of me.

I braced one hand against the headboard as he pounded into me. “Oh my god, Aaron,” my voice was a low whimper as I looked down to see his cock sliding in and out of me. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Baby, I want you to reach down and rub your clit for me while I fuck your tight little pussy.” His pace started to speed up as he spoke. “Can you do that for me?” He groaned when I complied, the stimulation to my clit causing my pussy to flutter around him. “Good girl.”

My fingers began to work frantically. “Don’t stop, Aaron. Don’t stop,” I begged. “I’m so close.”

“I know, sweet girl, I can feel you. Your pussy feels so good squeezing around my cock. You’re going to make me cum.” His thrusts were starting to get choppier, one of his hands braced on the top of the headboard while the other held my leg on his shoulder. “Do you want me to cum inside your pretty pussy, sweet girl?” He groaned loudly when my walls clenched around him. “It feels like you like the idea of that, don’t you baby?”

My fingers continued their pace, my head thrashing, my body trembling. “Yes. Fuck, Aaron. Please cum inside of me. Please.”

Aaron felt it first and acted quickly; his hand moved from my leg to cover my mouth. “That’s it, cum for me, baby.”

I thought my orgasm earlier tonight was powerful. It was nothing compared to how I felt when I came around his cock, only to feel him find his own release a moment after.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, y/n,” he breathed, giving a last few jerks inside of my body, pushing against the fluttering aftershocks of my orgasm. He rolled off me, careful not to drop all of his weight on top of me. To my relief, he quickly gathered me in his arm, pulling me against his body, pressing a soft kiss to my sweaty forehead.

My ear was pressed against his chest, allowing me to hear his heartbeat slowdown from its frantic pace and his breathing even out. I turned my head and pressed a kiss to his chest while his hand continued to stroke my back.

“That…that was amazing,” I said, looking up at him. “If I knew you had that in you, I wouldn’t have run out of the room every time I was alone with you.”

He laughed softly, his eyes sparkling. “Well, at least you’ll know for next time.”

My thoughts sobered at his words. Next time

“Hey,” he said, his hand cupping the side of my face. “No, don’t go away. I just got you.” He kissed my forehead again, then the tip of my nose, then both of my eyelids, before he tilted my face up further so he could press a kiss to my lips. “We’ll figure this out. We have to. I care too much about you to let you go.”

“I care about you too,” I replied, snuggling against his chest, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy.

I was almost asleep when I heard his voice rumble again. “Will you sing Beatles songs to me when I can’t sleep too?” His voice was sleepy and teasing.

I smiled into the darkness, not bothering to open my eyes. “If you want me to, I will.”

Permanent Taglist: @rachelxwayne @pinkdiamond1016 @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace @nanocoool

#Aaron Hotchner #Aaron Hotchner x reader #Aaron Hotchner imagine #Aaron Hotchner x you #Aaron Hotchner x y/n #hotch x you #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #Aaron Hotchner smut #SSA Aaron Hotchner

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vad-hander · 3 years

Text

I’M YOURS

Pairing: Y/N, Johnny, Jaehyun, Doyoung

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff | College AU

Warnings: language, angsty, smutty scenario, love triangle

Words: 8.1k

***

Waking up you felt Jaehyun’s body next to you, making you feel at ease. ‘Good, at least he didn’t run away.’ you sighed, turning to face him. He had his face on one of his hands, making his cheeks look chubbier than usual. You smiled at him, expanding one of your hands to caress his face. You were trying to not move your hand too quickly to not wake him up, and it looked like you were successful.

“You hate when I stare, but you do the same.” You heard Jaehyun’s sleepy voice getting startled.

“I’m sorry…” Jaehyun opened his eyes, and you moved a little closer. “I didn’t realize I’ve missed watching you sleep until I saw you sleeping.” You pecked the corner of his lips, and Jaeyun got his hands around you, pulling you away to stop. “What are you doing?” you laughed, and he tried to make you believe he was still sleeping.

Jaehyun laid on his back with his eyes closed, you moved back closer to him, and his hand held your waist. You were laying on your stomach, leaning on your elbows to get better view of his face. Your fingers were drawing weird lines over his lips.

“Does this mean we’re back to normal?” you caressed his forearm laying your chin on his shoulder. Jaehyun moved under you, sitting up, he turned his back at you, making you move back and sit up holding onto duvet he had on his bed.

“I’m not sure... I don’t think so...” your heart dropped. Was he trying to joke with you?

“Why?” you were trying your best to not sound so upset but it didn’t work out, so you bit your trembling lower lip to prevent yourself from crying.

“I just don’t feel...I don’t know. I can’t take you in my arms as before.”

“But you fucking did last night!” you exclaimed loudly holding sheets closer to your chest with your hand. You didn’t want to react this way but you got flashbacks of last night and you felt disgusted. “You fucked me saying you loved me. You said you missed me. How is that not us being normal? Were you just saying shit to get your dick deeper?”

“No, it’s not this. I was a little drunk and was in my feels.”

“Are you fucking kidding me Jaehyun? Is this your sick way of getting revenge?”

“God, no. I told you how it is.”

“What was it exactly? You saying you need space and I fucking give you space, I totally understand it. Then one day you kiss me and then the other day you act like I don’t exist. Then you tell me all those sweet things and fuck me and, in the morning, you just say ‘I don’t know’? What the fuck do you know? You’re being ridiculous and disgusting. If you don’t want to be with me you should’ve not even approached me yesterday. You didn’t have to use me as someone who could get your dick sucked.”

“I didn’t do that.”

“This is exactly what you did to me.” you paused, trying to think. “I know, I fucking know I fucked up. But I do have feelings too, and you’re just playing with me. Just quit us, quit everything and do whatever the fuck you want to. I’ll be okay, you don’t have to worry, if you ever did anyway.” you grabbed onto the sheets tighter, getting up and walking to the joined bathroom. “Just so you know, I feel…I don’t even know what I feel. You ripped my heart from my chest and played with it and threw it on the ground. I can’t even imagine you made me choke on your fucking dick thinking how you can’t be with me anymore. I can’t fucking believe I did it without asking you about our relationship status first.” you shouted into his back, because he didn’t even have it in him to look into your eyes.

You turned your back, finally getting to the bathroom. You heard Jaehyun move behind you, and you assumed he’s leaving the room, but you locked the door, just in case, washing up your face and brushing your hair with fingers. You hated everything about this place now, and the only thing you wanted to do is leave his house as quickly as possible.

Finishing freshening up your appearance, you opened the door, getting startled by Jaehyun that was sitting on the floor next to the door, with his back leaned on the wardrobe. You stepped back, almost loosing cloth around your body. Jaehyun quickly stood up, wearing his boxers only, and grabbed your wrist, pulling you out of the bathroom, closing the door behind you and pushing you back, causing you to hit the door with your back.

You didn’t see where his aggression was coming from and you didn’t tell him anything, staring into his eyes. He leaned closer to you, leaning on the door with his elbow.

“Tell me Johnny is a fucking liar.” he whispered through his teeth.

“I...I don’t know what you’re talking about.” your thoughts were running all over the place. Did Johnny tell him anything...? Did Johnny tell him EVERYTHING?

“You fucking do, don’t be a fucking liar.” Jaehyun’s cold fingers suddenly stroked your neck and you jumped under his touch. “He told me yesterday, when he was fucking wasted, how my girl think of him when I fuck her.” your heart stopped, there were millions of options how he could’ve said it but he chose the ugliest one. Fucking Johnny Suh. He could’ve told him anything, but he chose the worst thing to say.

But you weren’t blaming him only, you blamed your fucking long tongue that wasn’t able to hold back from talking as well. It was only a question of time for Johnny to spill everything to Jaehyun and you knew it, but still was hoping he wouldn’t. You weren’t expecting them to even talk long enough to share any type of secrets.

“So, I fucked her, just to ask afterwards, did she imagine Johnny well? Or should I’ve just invited him over, to give your imagination some rest?” you held back to not throw up on Jaehyun because it’s the only thing you wanted to do now. You felt so sick and was ready to puke at any given second. “And I don’t know what actually hurts me more, the fact that you fucking told Johnny about our personal life or the fact that instead of telling me that I don’t satisfy you sexually, you decided to tell it a complete stranger. Who else did you tell it except for him? The whole wide world?” he chuckled annoyed. You pressed your palm into your mouth, squeezing your eyes. You screamed into your hand, but no sound came out, and you couldn’t breathe in. Your body wasn’t functioning properly under Jaehyun’s stare. His eyes weren’t just full of aggression, they were full of pain. He was hurting as much as you were now, so you just tried to talk, even though it felt like someone ripped your throat from you with bare hands.

“Jaehyun, no, he put it the wrong way. It’s not like this. I never said anything like that.”

“Oh, right. You definitely told this to Doyoung? Am I right?” he wasn’t listening to what you were saying, being in his own world, laughing quietly when he thought of Doyoung.

“Jaehyun, please don’t listen to fucking Johnny. I wasn’t imagining him, I only think of you when I sleep with you, no, all the time. You’re always on my mind. I never thought of him because you didn’t satisfy me. Johnny is a fucking liar.” you cried for his mercy. You tried to touch his face, but his hand slapped you away, and you began to bend, because you weren’t able to hold your body straight with all the pain that was inside of you. His head moved closer, forcing you to straighten back up. When you felt his hot breath on your ear you froze.

“Did you tell Doyoung or no?” his cold whisper made you shiver.

“No.” you said quietly because you didn’t want him to think you were going around talking shit behind his back. He hit his hand on the door loudly, making you scream and jump. His fist landed centimeters away from your head.

“You fucking did. You tell him everything, did the two of you laugh about it?”

“Jaehyun, no, shut up. Don’t say this, don’t.” you shouted loudly, making him finally pay attention to you.

“Okay, then maybe you have something to say? Maybe you want to share, what you actually felt towards me this whole time? I knew I shouldn’t have believed you when you told me you loved me. I knew it was a fucking lie, but I still did because I needed it for my own sanity. I thought I beat Johnny here, but turns out I didn’t win this so-called battle. He was always here even though I couldn’t fucking see him. He was always on your fucking mind.” his finger touched your head, pointing to where Johnny was.

“No, please. Stop, I can’t.”

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t…” you laid your hand on his chest to find support, because you were genuinely unable to breath in. He probably saw you weren’t faking it, so he let you hold on to him, not pushing away. “I can’t breathe in properly, please, stop…”

“If you can’t breathe, then fucking leave.” you lifted your head to see his eyes. “Leave, better just leave, before I say too much or do something.” he moved back, and you almost fell losing support.

This was probably not a bad idea to go outside, fresh air would help you breathe. You quickly ran to his bed, picking up from the floor your clothes, quickly pulling everything on, you felt his stare burn your back, grabbing your bag from the chair, you didn’t look back, running towards the door. Getting out to the living room, you stopped for a few seconds trying to breath in, and the air in this room was fresher, so you made three small breaths, when you heard Jaehyun walk. You sprinted to the front door, quickly putting your shoes on, you opened the door, turning right before it was closed. You’ve noticed Jaehyun being squatted in the middle of the room with his face buried in his palms.

You ran down the stairs quickly, barely being able to see from the tears that were falling down your face. Finally opening the door that was leading outside, you felt cold fresh air in your lungs. You’ve remembered there was a bench right next to the house, so you ran there, falling on it lifelessly. You ran your fingers through your hair, pulling them harshly, making yourself scream in pain, inner pain. You closed your eyes, trying your best to focus on your breathing, because you still were struggling. Outside was quiet cold, and your clothes weren’t appropriate to sit and cry there for hours, so you just tried to get yourself together to walk. You wiped your face with your palms, to at least see which way to walk. Walking to your place from Jaehyun’s would normally take around 20 minutes, but you took every possible road to make it longer. You wanted to walk, even though you didn’t even see where you were going, you felt like it’s better to walk than lay in bed and cry all day long. The weather, though, wasn’t on your side, and you had to walk home, when you realized you can barely feel your legs, and hands too.

Entering your building, you tried to make the brightest expression, to not worry the security guard you had on the first floor. Walking up to the elevator though, you broke down completely. When you pressed the digit of your floor, you thought about Doyoung and you felt the urge to call him. You were doing it again, you were being selfish and thought of him only because you needed him and felt horrible, but you couldn’t stop yourself anyway, getting your phone out of your bag for the first time in at least twelve hours. You were scrolling through all the notifications you received, almost walking into the flower pot that was standing in the corner of the hall’s turn. There were 20 missed calls from Doyoung. He texted you too, you stopped, to read everything he messaged you. Your heart ached even from the first one you read.

from: D to the Y

“please don’t do anything dumb.”

“baby”

Your heart stopped beating. You imagined how it would sound, to hear Doyoung call you baby, and you cried even harder.

from: D to the Y

“I beg you”

“please reply”

from: D to the Y

“I can’t think about anything except you right now”

“please don’t fuck Jaehyun”

“I have so much to tell you”

from: D to the Y

“please tell me where jaehyun’s house is”

“I’ll come and take you from there”

from: D to the Y

“fuck Jaehyun knows”

“baby”

“Y/N”

“please, see this”

“Johnny is going crazy because he realized what he did”

“he sobered up and found me and told me he told jaehyun”

from: D to the Y

“please give me a sign you’re alive”

“I’m going crazy”

“please reply as soon as you’ll see it.”

“I can’t sleep without hearing from you.”

Your hands were shaking, you didn’t know what to text him back, you didn’t know what would be better to tell him, your hands were shaking and you didn’t find anything better than type ‘hi, I’m alive’, but you didn’t hit send, because you just felt like hearing his voice would be much better, so you dialed his number. You almost got a heart attack when you heard a phone ring down the hall. Turning to where the corridor was going, you’ve noticed someone on the chair that was standing few doors from yours. The someone in the chair moved, waking up and you realized what was going on. You stared into your phone, hanging up, and the ringing stopped. Walking quickly to the chair in the hall, you stopped in front of it. Doyoung was rubbing his eyes and it seemed like he didn’t realize yet you were in front of him.

“Oh, god, what happened?” he jumped from the chair, running his eyes around you, his hand landed on your cheek quickly, trying to wipe away the tears, but they were falling back quickly.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him, before beginning to cry bitterly. Your arms hugged his shoulders, and your face fell onto his shoulder, and you couldn’t stop crying. “Why did you come?”

“I texted you, but I guess you didn’t see. I was way too worried, and don’t know where Jaehyun live, so I figured you’ll come back home at some point, so I came to wait for you here, but I guess I fell asleep at one point.” His hands were rubbing your back, and you felt better, but still couldn’t stop crying. “Are you crying this hard just because I came to check on you?” he laughed, taking your head in his arms, to make you look at him. You were nibbling on your lower lip, trying to stop yourself from crying.

“What about Jisoo?” you didn’t know what else to ask.

“Why are you so obsessed with Jisoo?”

“I saw you two kiss, I thought you would be with her.” Doyound suddenly chuckled, smiling at you like you were a small dumb child.

“We kissed? I didn’t kiss anyone last night.” he licked his lips, and you moved a little back.

“What do you mean?” you were confused, because you thought you saw them kiss. Now you weren’t so sure. You did see Jisoo with Doyoung, but was the kiss just something you imagined…?

“I mean I didn’t kiss her. I only told her I don’t feel anything towards her in any other way than being friends, because there is someone else… that I like.” He smiled, squeezing your cheeks.

“I need to tell you a lot of things.” you whispered, hugging him again.

“Okay, but can we finally go to your apartment, the security guard is probably watching us like a soap opera right now.” Doyoung patted your back, and you smiled at him, nodding in agreement.

He helped you open the door, holding your hand when you led him to your bedroom. You tried to not touch anything with your hands because you felt dirty and was dying to shower away Jaehyun from your body.

“Doyoung” you turned to him, letting go of his hand. You stepped closer to him, holding on to his shirt, you fisted it under your fingers.

“Yes?”

“Jaehyun and I are over. For good.”

“Okay…?”

“I will tell you everything a little bit later…” you bit your lip “Can we please take a shower together? Like we used to? I touched you and now you have Jaehyun’s smell on you too, we need to wash that off our bodies, please.” you cried hysterically. “You can leave on all of your clothes, please, just be with me.”

“Okay, okay, we can do that if you want to. Can I at least put on my clothes that I have at yours? I need these to go back home.”

“No…you don’t understand, Jaehyun touched my clothes and I touched you, this means we have to wash our clothes as well.” you spoke quickly.

“Okay, I see, I get it. Let’s just put them in the washing machine, okay? We don’t have to shower with them on. Wait, let me take fresh clothes and we can go, okay?” he asked softly and you nodded yes. “Come here.” he expanded his hands and you walked quickly to him, entering your bathroom.

When you were inside, you turned on the water, fixing the temperature. Quickly you took everything off, leaving only your underwear on. Doyoung looked away, handing you blindly the shirt he brought, and you quickly put it on, noticing it was actually his shirt, when you felt material fall on your thighs. He changed his jeans to sweatpants and took off his shirt to put on the one from your wardrobe. You stared at his torso for too long without blinking, only realizing what you did when white material fell onto his stomach. He took both of your clothes in his hands to put them into the washing machine.

“Wait, I’ll come back quickly.” You nodded, and watched him leave you alone. You turned to the tub, touching the water that was falling from the shower head, you touched it mindlessly, sitting down on your knees and laying your head on the tub. You turned around when you heard Doyoung is back. “Get in” he commanded, and you stood up looking at him.

“I don’t want to sound weird…but these are the only pants that you have at my place…and if you’ll wet them, you will have to be in your underwear until they dry…”

“Yeah, you’re right.” he chuckled “I guess I have to take them off…if you’re okay with it.” You nodded yes and he took his pants off, and you turned, to finally get in the shower.

This felt more awkward than it usually did when you showered together, you were wondering if it only felt this way to you.

You got your head under the water jet, closing your eyes, trying to disappear in the water. Suddenly you felt the phantom of Jaehyun’s hands on your body, you felt his lips on your neck, and you began hysterically rubbing your body through the shirt, trying to get the feeling off. You opened your eyes, noticing how Doyoung’s shirt was almost dry, and he was just staring at you worriedly.

“Can I please take the shirt off? Please?” you were panicking and sounded like you were about to burst in tears again. Doyoung nodded his head yes in fear, and you quickly took it off, beginning to wash your body with your hands. When you could still feel Jaehyun, you began scratching your arms, stomach, and chest with your nails, leaving red marks all over your body. You opened your mouth, rinsing it.

“Wow, Y/N, calm down.” Doyoung said when he noticed what you were doing, but you didn’t react to his words “Do you hear me? Please, stop doing this. There’s nothing on your skin.”

“No, I can feel Jaehyun’s hands all over me.” you were crying again, and Doyoung’s hands grabbed yours, not letting you to continue scratching.

“Listen to me.” he stepped closer, and now he got fully wet, white soaked shirt outlining his abs. Even though this looked hot and you thought about it in the back of your head, this wasn’t something you actually were focused on right now. He let go of your hands, holding your face with his fingers. “Jaehyun is not here, he won’t touch you again, I will do anything you’ll ask me for you to stop feeling his fingers on your skin. I will kiss every centimeter of your body if you’ll let me, just for you to forget what Jaehyun’s fingers felt like.” your heart didn’t beat at all because of his words. You were hoping he’d do something, but he just stared you in the eyes, and you couldn’t just jump on him and ask him to kiss you when you were laying with Jaehyun less than 12 hours ago. You’d feel even more wrong than you did now, leaving behind the fact you still didn’t know if the someone Doyoung liked was you.

“Doyoung, I hate myself so much, can you just let me drawn in this bathtub? I hate everything about myself.”

“No, baby, I won’t let go of you.” He whispered softly and you died inside again, because hearing him call you baby was beautiful. It was exactly the same to what you imagined and you couldn’t get enough of the warmness it brought to your body.

“Say it again.” you said quietly, closing your eyes.

“I won’t let go of you.”

“No, not this.”

“My baby.” He said it almost with his lips only, but it was enough for you to hear it. You crushed your weight on him because it was impossible for you to hold on any longer. He almost fell because it was unexpected, but then he made you two sit, and with his back leaning on the tub, he pulled you on his chest, caressing your bare skin with his fingers.

***

Doyoung have basically moved to your house. You would spend every given chance together and it wasn’t in any way different to how you were hanging out a year ago, or 5 years ago. He was giving you emotional support, and you appreciated that more than anything else. You two would just lay down together for hours looking at the ceiling, discussing things that were bothering you the most. He’d bare with you jumping and singing for hours while he was trying to cook for you two. You would hang on his back like a monkey, while he was trying to brush his teeth in the evening, annoying him with your clinging.

You abandoned the whole world, skipping college. You didn’t want to go there, you weren’t ready to be in the same room, or even the same building with Jaehyun. Even though you did tell Doyoung multiple times to leave you, he wouldn’t.

He’d pretend he don’t like it, hate you sing, hate you hug him and hate you talking nonsense to him all the time, but you would glimpse him look at you with his caring eyes, he would purposely sit closer to you for you to give him attention, or lay your head on his shoulder. He would stand still for as long as it’s possible, brushing his teeth for ten minutes, just for you to not let go of him. He secretly loved it and you loved it about him even more.

None of you pushed anything. You knew he didn’t do it because he wouldn’t want to hit on you when you just broke up with Jaehyun. You didn’t want to pursue anything because you were still scared of the thought. You wouldn’t believe it’s even possible, that you liked Doyoung. You couldn’t believe your heart was longing for him in a different way now. It was weird for you when you caught yourself staring at his lips when he was sleeping. You felt weird when you’d just stare at his face when you were watching tv, getting lost in the shape of his eyes. This was weird, but it wasn’t wrong. You knew it because of the butterflies that lived inside of you rent free. When you wouldn’t feel Doyoung’s even random touch on your skin for an hour, you’d cling onto him, getting his disgusted face expression. Feeling the warmth of his skin on yours would make your heart tremble, waking up those little butterflies inside of you.

You were sitting on your bed, skipping through songs in your shuffle play. When BoA’s ‘Better’ played you left it on, getting back to your laptop to read an email from your professor.

“No, turn this off, I can’t listen to this song anymore. You have it on repeat 20 hours a day.” Doyoung sighed tiredly, making a tortured face expression. You lifted your head, shaking it no. He walked towards you and your phone, and you knew he’d try to skip the song, so you closed your laptop laying it on the floor. You grabbed your phone one second before he reached it, lifting your arm.

“Give it to me.” he expanded his arm, and you crawled back from the edge of your bed.

“No, I like this song.” he reached to you, placing his knee on the bed.

“Let me just play something else.” he tried to make a deal with you, making his ‘business’ face.

“No.”

“I want to listen to other songs too.”

“Then go home and listen to whatever song you want.” you squeezed your eyes making a sassy face expression and he suddenly got back, standing up. When he turned around and began walking you panicked being scared for him to actually leave.

You jumped from the bed, reaching for his hand but got scared and jumped back when he suddenly turned back around, looking at you with a smirk. Quickly getting next to you, he made you startled with his stare, causing you to sit down.

“Got scared I will leave?” he smirked.

“No, wanted to make sure you did actually leave.”

“Did you?”

“Huh? You can tell I didn’t make sure, you’re still here.”

“Ha-ha.” he laughed sarcastically “I mean, did you actually want me to leave?” he stared at you and you bit your lip looking at him.

You crawled back a little, crossing your legs to sit, because it was difficult to look him in the eyes from your position, but Doyoung moved closer to you again, putting his knees on the bed. You wanted to crawl back again, but his fingers grabbed your ankles, making you stretch your legs and almost lie down. He leaned on the bed with his arms, making your faces close to each other. You felt scared and excited at the same time. What was going on inside his head, did he want to do anything? You were so nervous you almost didn’t breathe.

Doyoungs hand pushed you by your shoulder, signalling for you two lay down, and you did, letting Doyoung to completely crawl over you, laying between your legs. You felt excitement in your core when he moved his face closer to yours. The tension between you two was on the maximum level, and you couldn’t keep staring at him when he was so close and about to do something you didn’t know what. You closed your eyes, letting him decide what he’ll do next, not being able to bare with him being this close.

You felt how he moved a little, and you felt his hot breath on your ear, twitching under him.

“There are so many things I want to do right now, I’m getting lost in the ocean of options.” he left a peck at the base of your jaw, sending shivers down your spine. You felt how he just fell beside you, leaving you lonely. Opening your eyes you clenched your teeth.

‘Go ahead play along and beat around the bush for another decade, maybe he’ll kiss you on your 30th birthday.’ the voice in your head laughed at you, making you jump up and stare at him lie down with his face hid in his palms. You bit your lip doubting your decision at first, but then you just realised it’s one in a million chance you don’t want to skip.

You crawled over Doyoung, sitting on his stomach. He opened his eyes quickly, laying his hands on your thighs, sending shivers to your core, but moving them away quickly, laying on the mattress. You leaned lower, keeping probably 3 centimetres between your faces. Your hair fell over you two, making you sit up to put it in a bun. You leaned back, licking your lips.

“Are you a 3rd grader?” you asked mockingly.

“What? Why?” he truly didn’t understand.

“If I was a guy sleeping in the bed everyday with the girl that likes him and I would like her, I would fuck her on the second day, now, that everything is clear and obvious.”

“What is clear and obvious?”

“You know what is, don’t act dumb.”

“I actually don’t.”

“Use your brain then.” you furrowed your eyebrows. Doyoung was staring at you intensely, and when you felt how his hands stroked your thighs getting higher than they ever did in your life you felt a pool in your panties the next second.

“I reckon...” he began slowly biting on his lip, leading his hands up to your butt, stopping before getting to it, and leading the way down with his nails. “I reckon someone wants to be fucked.” you closed your eyes because you’ve never heard Doyoung saying things like that and you felt your heart sink because it sounded ecstatic to your ears. “But this someone is not getting it.” you opened your eyes quickly.

“Why is that?”

“Use your brain.” he played with his brows.

“Oh...” you paused “I guess I know why.”

“Yeah...?” he asked and you leaned closer to his ear, feeling how his hands held onto your legs tighter.

“You’re a little sneaky liar, lying to me you fuck girls, but I guess you’re a virgin, since you can’t even fuck me when I’m already on your lap.” you leaned back to see his reaction, but there wasn’t pretty much any. He smiled at you with the ‘I caught you’ smile and you knew he understood you wanted to test him.

“Yeah, you’re right.” he shook his head yes, licking his lips slowly, showing you his tongue.

“You don’t want to prove me wrong?” you said quietly leaning on your elbows now, which made both of your faces closer to each other.

“No, why?”

“Don’t know...” you sighed “you’re right tho, you can’t even kiss me... and I’m asking about THIS much.” you chuckled “Maybe I should just dry hump you to give your hand some time to rest?” you bit onto your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing but Doyoung didn’t give you any reaction. He just kept on looking at you with the smile saying ‘go on, go on, I’m listening.’ but this wasn’t the plan you had in your head. You tried to move you body lower, to get closer to his dick, trying to tease him more, but he suddenly grabbed onto your thighs, switching your positions. One of his hands landed on your cheek and you lost your ability to breath in anticipation.

“I’ll give you time to apologise for your words after the day I’ll make you cry my name out all night long.” he whispered into your lips, leaving not more than half a centimetre between you. You opened your mouth slightly expecting to finally feel his lips on yours. He drove you crazy and you were ready to cry for his kiss. You closed your eyes again, when you felt him move a millimetre closer. When you almost felt his lips on yours, the room got stunned with the ringing of your phone, making you jump under Doyoung, and more importantly, making him let go of you.

“Go on, pick this one.” he said calmly, and you were ready to kill whoever was calling you. You groaned, getting up to reach your phone on the night stand.

“Yes Johnny.” you were disappointed he called for other reasons, not even having a second to think about what he did.

“Wow, you picked up, I’m surprised.” he sighed nervously.

“Ugh...yeah...I did. What do you want?”

“Can we please talk?”

“We are.”

“I know we are talking right now, but I have to explain myself.”

“Yeah, you kinda are.” you turned your head to the sound of Doyoung leaving your room.

“Look, I have no idea why I did that. I honestly didn’t want you and Jaehyun to...” hearing his name made you uncomfortable, you didn’t hear anything he said afterwards.

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to talk this over the phone.”

“Okay, do you want to meet in the park...?”

“No, it’s too cold, let’s go to the diner?”

“Yeah, cool, when?”

“Uhm... don’t know...in an hour?”

“Yeah, deal.”

“Cool, see you.” you almost hang up when you heard Johnny speak again.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“See you, Johnny.”

“See you.” you locked your phone throwing it on the bed.

You ran your eyes across the room, hearing quiet noises of the tv from the living room, signalling that Doyoung is there. You felt like you haven’t been outside for years, so you felt like putting a little bit of effort to it. You sat in front of your mirror with a make up bag, putting foundation, blusher, mascara and eyeliner on. Finishing with your brows you felt human again, brushing half of your hair in a high ponytail. You put everything away, standing up to pick out what you’ll wear, when you heard how Doyoung got back into the room. You glared at him through the mirror, still deciding on what to wear. He sat on your bed, watching you.

“Where you’re going?” he asked curiously

“On a date.” you said carelessly getting your v-neck tee out.

“What?” he raised his eyebrows more in a sarcastic than jealous expression.

“I have a date.” you furrowed your brows trying to seem you don’t know why he’s bothered with it.

“What?” he sounded like someone put him on repeat.

“You stuck?” you turned to look at him properly.

“Why?”

“Oh, good, you’re not.” you turned back, getting a shirt out.

“With who?”

“One and the only, Johnny Suh.” you chuckled closing the door and turning to lay your clothes on the bed. Doyoung stood up going your way.

“You’re serious right now?” he stopped you from walking with his body. Taking clothes from your hands he threw them onto your bed. You tried to protest but Doyoung’s hands landed on your forearms forcing you to put down your hands.

“Why not? I’m a single girl and I can’t be single forever. I need to take my opportunities.” you stared him in the eyes.

“No.” he took a few steps further.

“Hm?” you felt how your back touched the wall.

“You’re mine, didn’t you understand this yet?” you felt like someone punched the air out of your lungs. You wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say so you just stared back at him. When he leaned closer, touching your waist with his fingers, your hand automatically landed on his neck, gripping.

“I am, but you won’t claim what’s yours.” you sighed in his ear.

“You’re not an object.” he moved his head back.

“Doyoung...one kiss won’t change anything for you and will change everything for me.” you sighed, stroking his cheek, trying to pull him closer.

“No, I’ve dreamt of you wanting me for way too many years to give you what you want this quickly.” he wanted you all these years...?

“What if I’ll force-kiss you now?”

“Then you’ll ruin our first kiss.” you bit onto your cheek debating. “Go on.”

“I have to go, Johnny’s going to wait.” you tried to walk past him and he let you, watching you change clothes from the back. He stood there quietly watching you and when you were ready, you walked back to him, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll let Johnny know I’m yours when he’ll begin undressing me.” you chuckled, leaving a peck on his cheek.

You let go of him, walking towards the door to get your shoes on. Doyoung was walking behind you not saying anything.

“I’ll go home.” he let you know quietly.

“Will you come back?”

“Don’t know, if you’ll call me.”

“Of course I will.” you smiled at him, hugging his neck. “Or maybe I’ll come uninvited so be ready.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

***

You’ve met Johnny at the diner, startling him with how loudly you sat in front of him.

“Hi.” he said nervously not knowing if he should try to greet you with a hug or keep sitting.

“Hi.”

“Wanna order first?”

“Yeah, I’m actually hungry.”

You two ordered food, and Johnny began talking while you were waiting. He said so many things, he seemed sincere. You didn’t have any other options than believe him, when he was ready to fall onto his knees right on the dirty floor of this cafe.

“Johnny, come on.” you stopped him quickly with your hand, making him sit back on the couch “You don’t have to do it to this extent. I didn’t even think about blaming you, at the end of the day, it was me who said it to you in the first place. What’s more important is that I actually think it’s for the better, that Jaehyun is aware of what I told you. This probably worked out better than it could’ve. You made my job easier, John, so, yeah, kinda thank you.” you chuckled, squeezing his palm that was laying on the table.

“What do you mean?” he smiled at you confused.

“The book I told you about, I made that up. It was about me.” he giggled and you laughed with him.

“I reckoned that.”

“I guessed it, but it’s not important anymore since everything is kinda turning out the way it’s post to be. Me and Jaehyun were never meant to be, it was nice, but I guess it wasn’t meant to last long.” you let go of Johnny’s hand when you felt like you held onto it for too long.

“Yeah...” Johnny looked at you biting on his lip.

“This is actually ridiculous.” you chuckled.

“What?”

“That I fell for my friend again.”

“You did?”

“Yes. At least I know now for sure that he likes me back.” you laughed sipping on your drink.

“Good.” Johnny smiled too, and the both of you finished your food chatting like you usually would.

Eventually you decided to go home, texting Doyoung. You really wanted to see him, feeling like you actually missed him when you haven’t seen him for 2 hours only.

You & Johnny walked outside, with Johnny being a gentleman and holding a door for you. Exiting the diner, you turned to face him. You wanted to walk alone, meaning to say goodbye to Johnny now.

“Thanks for hanging out.” you smiled “It was really nice to see you, and clear everything between us.” you hugged Johnny.

“Yeah, no problem.” he smiled “I’m not sure everything is clear though. After what you said, I’m even more confused now.” you moved your head back trying to see his face still hugging him.

“What do you mean?” you asked furrowing your brows.

“This.” Johnny leaned and kissed you. He just went for it, boldly pressing his lips into you. You gripped onto his shoulder tighter trying to get him off you, but Johnny was holding you in his arms too strongly to even notice. You hit his shoulder again, trying to tell him to stop, and he finally noticed.

“No, Johnny, I told you I don’t like you...what the hell?” You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

“You said you liked a friend that likes you back. Who else could it be? There’s literally no one...the one that is not taken is Doyoung.” he paused looking confused at you furrowing his eyebrows. “Wait, did you actually mean Doyoung?” his eyes were genuinely shocked.“Oh fuck...I misunderstood you...oh god, I’m so sor...” he didn’t finish his sentence, because someone grabbed him by the collar.

“Jaehyun, what the hell?!?” you exclaimed, trying to grab onto his arm. “Let go of him.” he shook your hand off his shoulder.

“I can’t fucking believe you actually fucked Johnny this whole time.” he turned his head at you, his eyes were furious.

“Yo, dude, chill.” Johnny was calm and laughed at the end of his sentence, which, genuinely, was a fatal mistake.

Jaehyun took it as an offence, and his fist landed on Johnny’s jaw. Your scream deafened the whole street. Johnny didn’t fall, he grabbed Jaehyun back, because he wasn’t going to lose when someone blamed him over nothing.

“Johnny, please, don’t fight with him, his not himself.” you pleaded the taller guy, but he wasn’t going to lose staring Jaehyun in the eyes.

“You want to fucking fight? You’ll regret it though, on so many levels, so think twice before your face meet with my fist.” Johnny shouted at him vigorously.

“You think I’m scared?” Jaehyun laughed him in the face.

“Johnny, please, I beg you, let go of him. This is a fight over nothing. Jaehyun, you’re wrong. I never slept with Johnny stop this and let’s talk. Please, Jaehyun, please.” you pleaded with tears in your eyes.

Jaehyun pushed Johnny, and then, you were taken aback, because Johnny punched Jaehyun in his teeth, making him fall. You ran to Johnny, trying to stop him from continuing.

“Please, just go. You don’t have to witness this.”

“Let’s go together.” you asked him feeling tears fall down your cheeks.

“Yeah, run like a little bitch that you are, with your little whore. You two are a great couple. A rat and a whore, I like that.” you turned noticing Jaehyun sitting up, wiping the blood off his face.

“What are you saying, Jaehyun? I’ve never slept with Johnny, I never even kissed him. I never knew you were this much of a disgusting person.”

“Me? A disgusting person? I’ve never done anything but loved you.”

“Yes, until the day you forced me to do things.”

“What things?” Johnny chimed in.

“You want to know what things she did with me in my bed?”

“Dude, calm down.”

“Oh, right, yall talk about it on the daily. I guess you already know what I did to her, or maybe you want to get more detail?”

“Jaehyun, shut up. Johnny is not even my fucking boyfriend, I don’t even like him. What the fuck are you trying to do?” you shouted at him when he stood up.

“Go away.”

“No, don’t start this stupid fight over nothing.”

“I already began it so just fucking move.” you shook your head no and Jaehyun grabbed you harshly moving away, causing Johnny to groan and hit Jaehyun again. The next second, after you were able to stand up from Jaehyun’s push, you noticed how they were a mess. They were punching each other, Johnny sat on top of Jaehyun, beating the shit out of him. People ran out of the diner, calling police and breaking them from each other.

You were standing next to all the by-watchers, when police arrived. You tried to tell them it was your fault, but Jaehyun kept his mouth shut, and Johnny kept on saying the fight was based off of them accidentally bumping into each other while walking. So they listened to him, taking both of them to the police station.

You didn’t know what to do, so you went to Doyoung. He would let you just sit in quietness and get yourself together.

“What happened?” he opened the door noticing your face expression.

“Can we just sit quietly and watch tv?”

“Yeah, sure.” Doyoung helped you take your jacket off, and led you to the couch, making you sit. “Do you want to drink something warm?”

“No, I want to hug you.”

“Okay.” he sat next to you, and you moved closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder, hugging Doyoung’s waist. “May I ask just one question?” you lifted your head.

“Yeah.”

“Did Johnny do anything to you?”

“No, it’s not about Johnny.”

“Okay…”

“You’re not going to ask, just because you’ve asked for one question only?” Doyoung nodded making you smile. And this smile was a genuine one, you could feel your entire being be happy just looking at Doyoung. “You are so cute.” you mumbled lifting your head from his shoulder. You stared him in the eyes, moving the blanket that was laying on both of your legs to the side. You crawled over Doyoung, sitting on his lap. You felt way too nervous, your palms were sweating and you felt like your heart can jump out of your chest if you’ll make a sharp move. Doyoung placed his hands on your knees, moving them gently up your thighs to your back, holding lightly your waist. Your hands found their place on his neck, and you hugged him, laying your palms on your own shoulders, leaving your faces a couple of centimeters away from each other. “You are so caring, and you’re smart, and gentle, and always there for the people you care about, and your kindness is enough to make this whole world better.” Doyoung smiled trying to look away, but your hands were forcing him to face you, so he just focused his eyes behind your back. “And you’re always there even for selfish friends that come to you to cry about their boyfriends, even though you love them, but you’re still ready to help them because you’re the greatest person in the whole wide world. I always thought and told you that I’m so lucky to have you to myself, but I never imagined and never even thought I do actually own you all to myself.” He was looking at you now. “I wish you told me earlier but then at the same time I’m glad you never did, because this way I came to it naturally. I didn’t even realize that you felt anything towards me, it’s ridiculous how blind I am, and I’m genuinely impressed with you being able to hold back for so many years, because the only thing I wanted to do for these past weeks was to kiss you, and I understand why you’re making me wait, but I have something to tell you.” You paused and Doyoung nodded barely noticeable. “I’m sorry I took so long, but I want you to know that I love you.” He opened his mouth to talk but you stopped him. “Not in the way I always loved you. I love you so much it makes me feel miserable because my tiny heart can’t take all the love I feel for you, so I want you to know. I love you, Doyoung and if you’ll take me as your girlfriend you’ll make me the happiest human being on earth.” You stopped and stared him in the eyes. He kept the room quite not replying to you, and you felt like you would pass out if he’d reject you, or will tell you he meant something different with his actions.

Doyoung’s hands moved from your waist to your face, and he stroked your cheek gently getting your face even closer to his.

“I love you.” he said almost with his lips only.

“I’m yours.” you whispered in his lips and he finally touched your lips with his, gently holding your face in place.

__ okaaaay, this story is finally done

This ending felt like the least forced one? I don’t know how to name it correctly, but it felt natural and right to me.

I hope you’re not too upset with the way JohnJae love triangle story turned into DoJae love triangle and then ended with this.

please let me know what you think of this last chapter <3

Thank you so much for reading this and I will post a new story very-very soon <3

#nct x reader #nct au #nct imagines #nct taeyong #nct smut #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct johnny #nct 127 #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun smut #jaehyun #doyoung smut #doyoung #johnny suh smut #johnny suh

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shitty-marvel-fan732 · 4 years

Text

Sleepless in the Tower

Title: Sleepless in the Tower

Pairing: Peter Parker x Barnes-Rodgers!Reader

Requested?: Yes! : Hi can I request a peter parker x reader please where I'm in a relationship with peter and I'm bucky and Steve's daughter and me and MJ go to a night club that we told not to go to and I end up getting really drunk and she ends up having to call peter and he takes me back to the tower trying to wake everyone up but ik being so loud and everyone goes mad that snuck out and got drunk and my dads try to take care of me but I just want peter thanks xx

Warnings: Teenage alcohol use, wild mood swings, Peter being scared shitless of your dads

Word count: hahahahahahahahahahaha...7K

Summary: Y/N’s drunk, Bucky’s angry, and Peter just wants to get some sleep.

Peter Parker was not one to usually get the of 8 hours of sleep that was recommended for guys his age. Between homework, studying for decathlon, spending time with May, going on patrol, and trying to squeeze in more than just a few spare minutes with Y/N a day outside of school, sleep just didn’t fit into his schedule. Peter didn't dare complain. He loved doing all of those other things, and if sacrificing a few hours of sleep here or there was the price he’d have to pay for them, he’d willingly pay it.

Even so, he wasn’t completely tone-deaf to his body’s needs. Peter could tell he’d been running more than a few hours short for the past few days, but he had yet to find a way to get some sleep without letting one of his other responsibilities fall by the wayside. It was getting to the point where he was thinking very seriously about just taking a quick nap right on the roof where he was currently perched. If he was being completely honest, only the mental image of May and Y/N absolutely losing it if they found out about his little rooftop snooze was keeping him awake. Frowning, he yawned for what felt like the millionth time that night as he scanned the mostly empty streets. He was more than used to the constant urge to sleep, and was sure he could make it the next few hours without passing out.

Still, everyone had a breaking point, and Peter was relatively sure that he was nearing his.

Miraculously, it seemed luck was on his side tonight. His patrol had practically flown by without much of a hitch -- save a few random muggings, Queens seemed pretty quiet. Peter felt a small bit of hope begin to bubble and build in his chest as he realized that he was going to get to go home early for once. Even more exciting was the fact that tomorrow was Saturday, and he had the opportunity to actually sleep in for once. He grinned beneath his signature mask, exhausted body beginning to tingle with anticipation at the prospect as he swung his way home.

Peter had barely made it in his bedroom window before he flopped face-first into his mattress -- suit, mask, and all. He groaned loudly at the way his soft bed felt against his exhausted and aching muscles, thoroughly pleased and delighted at the welcome comfort. As he grabbed a pillow from the head of the bed and snuggled his mask-clad face into it, it suddenly occurred to him that he was falling asleep at an alarming pace and that he was still wearing his full suit. Peter groaned internally as he pictured all the jabs and jokes Mr. Stark would surely come up with once he found out Peter had fallen asleep in the suit.

Again.

Peter idly contemplated the effort it would take to remove it before eventually deciding in favor of not moving. Mr. Stark could tease all he wanted -- and he surely would -- but there was nothing on Earth that was going to make Peter move from his bed for the next 12 hours or so.

Just as he was beginning to drift off, the dull buzzing of his cellphone registered somewhere in the back of his mind. Still too tired to properly function, Peter ignored the annoying sound and stubbornly attempted to fall asleep even faster now, before something could get in his way. Eventually the noise mercifully stopped and Peter smiled a little, feeling slightly smug that he'd successfully ignored the distraction.

“Peter?” KAREN chirped.

Though the AI’s voice was as smooth and gentle as ever, the sudden sound in his ear breaking through the silence of the room startled Peter. He jolted upwards and yelped in surprise before scanning his bedroom urgently. Realizing that there was nothing visibly amiss, he flopped back down onto his pillows and groaned loudly. Thoroughly annoyed at whatever, or whoever, could be the cause of the interruption, Peter merely grunted in response as he screwed his eyes shut once more.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but per the protocols you set I’m alerting you that Y/N has called you more than twice and you haven’t responded,” the AI calmly reported.

Peter muttered incoherently in acknowledgement as he drifted in and out of consciousness, and KAREN fell silent. For a beat or two it seemed the tired superhuman had finally succumbed to the sleep that’d been threatening to claim him all evening -- his body still and breaths slowing steadily.

Until KAREN’s words sunk into his mind and his eyes shot open.

Peter gasped -- the hairs on the back of his arms suddenly standing upright and his skin prickling with alarm as he bolted up once more-- this time fully awake.

“Y/N’s been calling?” he questioned KAREN, heart beating wildly and thoughts racing with the possibilities of what could be causing his girlfriend to call him at… “Also what time is it?”

“It’s 3 am Peter”, came KAREN’s calm reply. “She’s called you three times so far, and it appears she’s calling again right now.”

Peter lunged for his backpack -- it was propped up against the wall where he’d tossed it carelessly earlier tonight as he’d scrambled through the window. Fingers practically vibrating with anxious energy, he dug through the mess in his bag frantically in search of his phone. Finally finding it, he quickly swiped across the picture of the two of you that was flashing on his screen.

"Y/N?" he questioned breathlessly. "What's going on, what's wrong?"

"PETEYY," you sang through the phone. "Oh my gosh I misssssed you!"

Peter felt his brows crinkle in confusion. You never called this late, knowing that he was usually on patrol at this time. Plus, he could sense that something was off just by the sound of your voice. Your words were just slightly slurred together, and the pitch was a little higher than it normally was. It reminded him of the way you sounded right before you fell asleep, when you were really, really tired. Peter briefly considered that you might actually be calling him in your sleep, but the constant buzz of voices and noises in the background that weren't yours told him otherwise.

"Y/N babe what's going on? Where are you?" he asked nervously.

" 'm out with MJ and we saw this totally awesome band and OH. Petey you should've seen them they were so awesome! You would've loved it. The guitar player was...," you chattered excitedly through the phone, completely oblivious to your boyfriend's obvious concern. Peter's brows furrowed deeper, and he felt his face contort into a look of pure confusion.

"That's great babe, but I'm confused," Peter cut off your rambling abruptly. "Where are you?"

"Mmmm I'm not really sure!" came your thoroughly unbothered reply. "Somewhere in the city maybe? Yep. Definitely in the city."

Peter sighed, a gloved hand coming to rest on his covered head in exasperation.

"What? Sorry -- no MJ, it's Peter!" he heard you mumble to someone else. "Petey? MJ wants to talk to you, 'kay?"

There was some shuffling on the other end of the phone before Peter heard MJ's voice.

"Hey."

"MJ? What the heck is happening?" he questioned for what felt like the hundredth time in just a few minutes.

"Y/N just showed up at my door tonight and dragged me out to see this show," she explained casually. "It was actually pretty cool, but anyways people have been buying her drinks left and right the entire time. So now she is wasted and, don't get me wrong, it's hilarious, but I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get her home."

"Wait, Y/N is drunk?" Peter exclaimed, shocked. Never in all the years that he'd known you would he have ever thought that you'd be calling him at 3 in the morning, drunk. You were only 17! You were incredibly smart and goal-driven -- underaged drinking was just not something Peter would've expected from you.

"As a skunk," MJ replied in her deadpan voice. The knot of concern twisted deeper in Peter's belly as he realized the potential danger of your situation.

"PETEY! Is that Peter? Tell him I love him!" Peter could hear you yelling from somewhere around your phone's speaker. Ignoring the light blush that always seemed to creep up his face whenever you said things like that, he asked again where the two of them were. MJ calmly gave him the address, and he instantly grabbed his backpack, scrambling onto his fire escape and out into the night.

"Okay, just stay there, I'm coming," he grunted as he swung from building to building.

"I'll do my best, but you might want to hurry," MJ agreed cautiously. "Your girl is about 10 seconds away from throwing a punch."

"She's what -- why?!"

"No, I told you I don't want another one! You are being so pushy right now!" Peter heard your irritated voice, slightly muffled in the background.

Anger and panic started to burn in his chest like acid as he realized that someone, probably some dude, was making you feel uncomfortable. The anger churned and mixed with the concern in his belly, creating a fire the likes of which he'd never felt before. He'd been angry before, sure, but this feeling was entirely new. The protective feelings only intensified as he pictured you, alone and vulnerable as some creep was pushing his way into your space.

"I'm coming," Peter growled as he increased his speed.

MJ ended the call, and Peter started throwing himself through the skyline as fast as his muscles would physically allow. He wasn't sure who you'd been arguing with or why, but the pit of anxiety in the bottom of his stomach was only growing bigger the longer he wasn't with you.

All he knew was he needed to find you and find you fast.

------------

Even though Peter's mind was screaming for him to get to you as soon as possible, he realized that him trying to find you while still wearing his suit was problematic at best. So he changed as fast as he could, throwing his regular clothes over his suit, just in case.

Nearly tripping over his own feet in his attempt to get out of the alley quickly, Peter's eyes scanned the busy street. His eyes washed over the crowd, desperately searching, before they finally landed on your face. You were swaying your hips to an imaginary beat and singing quietly to yourself near the street. MJ was sitting on the curb near you, watching your performance with amusement written all over her features. Relief surged through him at the sight of your cheerful expression, and he swiftly jogged to your side.

"Hey, you finally made it," MJ remarked sarcastically as he reached the two of you. Peter rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the small grin that was rapidly taking over his face at the sight of you. You looked so happy, so free, that the feelings radiating from you combined with the lingering relief Peter still felt made the poor boy let out a breath for the first time since he'd taken your call.

You, however, still hadn't noticed that your much beloved boyfriend had arrived. Though you'd been whining to MJ about wanting to see him for the past few hours, you were extremely distracted at the moment. Save the few sips of scotch you'd snuck from your dads every now and again you'd never really drank before, and now that you were decidedly tipsy you were feeling great. You weren't really sure what the source was, but your body felt like it almost couldn't help but move. It could be the leftover adrenaline from the concert, the thrill of sneaking out late, the five (or ten) drinks you'd had, or some combination therein, but you felt incredible.

Your body felt like it was practically buzzing with energy. Humming along to your favorite song, you hopped one foot onto the curb gracefully-- or more likely clumsily -- and began taking slow, wobbling steps down the narrow path. You idly wondered when Peter would arrive, the sudden thought causing the butterflies in your stomach to kick up in excited anticipation. As you walked the curb like a tightrope your brain was filled with images of his handsome features, and you felt your face break out into an even wider grin. Surely he must be getting close by now? It felt like years since you'd talked with him on the phone, and --

Your thought abruptly cut-off as you felt the foot closest to the street slide suddenly out from underneath you. Reflexes all but non-existent at this point, you only managed to let out the briefest gasp before you tumbled off the curb completely.

“Whoa,” a voice sounded in your ear. Someone was gripping your body tightly, arms supporting your entire weight to prevent you from toppling face-first into the street. The voice sounded familiar in a way your alcohol-infused brain couldn’t place right away. Scrunching your face in confusion, you quickly scrambled your way out of the stranger’s arms and put some distance between the two of you. Turning suddenly, you spared a glance at your savior, internally hoping it was someone you at least knew. A brief look was all you needed, confusion giving way to pure excitement as a jolt of recognition ran through you.

"PETEY," you squealed, happiness bubbling up in your hazed mind as Peter's face came into your line of vision. You threw your arms open expectantly, and Peter chuckled lightly before pulling you into his embrace once more.

"Getting into all kinds of trouble, huh babe?" Peter whispered fondly into your hair, the gentle feeling of his breath tickling your scalp and making you smile. You let out a girly (and very out of character) giggle, snuggling deeper into your boyfriend's arms.

"Mmm nope, no trouble here," you hummed playfully, grin widening as you felt Peter's chest gently vibrate as he chuckled. Unbeknownst to either of you MJ rolled her eyes incredulously.

"Yeah right," she snorted. "Tell it to that guy."

Peter followed her jutted out thumb to see an older guy, standing near the bouncers of the nightclub with a surly expression and a prominent welt forming under one of his eyes. Peter pulled himself out of your death grip just far enough to send you a curious glance.

"Y/N...?" he questioned, clearly hoping for an explanation. Your eyes traveled to the man in question, irritation blossoming in your chest as you recognized him.

"I don't like him," you huffed. MJ chuckled.

"You don't say" she drawled sarcastically. "I would never have guessed, ya know, by the way you punched him in the face."

"You did what," Peter exclaimed.

"Punched him!", you piped up from his chest, smiling proudly at yourself.

Peter took a slight step back and stared at you, wide-eyed and slack jawed. He couldn't picture you, his intelligent and sweet girlfriend punching anyone, much less a grown man, in the face. He sputtered incoherently, unable to formulate a response.

You giggled at the look of pure confusion on his face for a moment before deciding you should probably explain.

"Mhm, he was being really obnoxious! He kept, like, insisting -- no demanding-- to buy me a drink, and I obviously told him no way cause I didn't want one. And also I told him that my boyfriend was coming, but he didn't believe me! Fucking jerk, right? So I went to walk away, 'cause I was getting really annoyed, and he grabbed my arm really hard and wouldn't let go! So I punched him," you babbled, annoyance and pride lingering on your face as you recalled the encounter.

Peter just stared for a moment, the adorable dumbfounded look still overtaking his sweet face as you told the story. An all too familiar feeling of complete adoration for him washed over your intoxicated brain like a wave as you watched him try to process things. How you came to deserve someone like Peter was still beyond you.

"Yeah it was pretty awesome," MJ agreed, a sly smile taking over her features. "Guy was a total creep."

You huffed again, childishly shoving your face back into Peter's firm chest.

"He was mean."

Peter’s protective hold over your body tightened as soon as the words tumbled from your lips. It seemed he'd finally broken past his complete shock and was now in full defensive mode. You looked up to find his normally peaceful, chocolate-brown eyes turned suddenly dark with anger, and you could feel the way his muscles tensed as he shot the man a glare. Guilt wormed its way into your chest as you realized how things probably sounded to your over-protective, chivalrous-to-a-fault boyfriend.

Trying to think quickly, before Peter did something he was sure to regret later, you grabbed his face with both of your hands. He hesitated for only a moment before willingly allowing you to turn his face back towards yours. Smiling deviously, you peppered kisses all over his quickly reddening face in an outward show of affection.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Peter's eyes softened and his cheeks heated with a light blush that made your tummy erupt into butterflies. Best of all, his lips quirked up into your favorite sweet, crooked smile.

You gripped his body a little tighter, suddenly wobbly on your feet. The sight of Peter in all his lovely, shy glory never failed to make your knees weak, and this moment was no exception. Even though you admittedly probably wouldn't have been able to stand upright without Peter's support regardless.

"Hey, s'okay Petey, I took care of it," you reassured him in between kisses. He sighed, pulling you closer into the fold of his arms and burying his face into your hair.

"I know, I just got nervous when you called," he murmured against your head. "And then I heard you arguing with that guy and I couldn't stop picturing all the terrible things that could be happening. And I was just so scared because I wasn't there, and if anything ever happened to you I just… I couldn't…"

Your heart swelled with an overwhelming feeling of pure guilt as Peter trailed off. How could you be so stupid. Of course he was worried, it was Peter. The things he'd been through, the things he still saw on a daily basis. You sniffled, tears stinging your eyes as you realized just how upset you'd made him. You gripped Peter even more tightly, and a small sob ripped through your throat as you spiralled instantly into a pit of self-loathing.

"I-- 'm so s-sorry Peter," you blubbered, your voice muffled by his chest as big, sloppy tears rolled uncontrollably down your cheeks. "I didn't mean to make you worry, I just was having so much fun and I re-really wanted to see you!"

"Hey, hey," his smooth voice cooed in your ear as his hands began rubbing across your back lovingly. "It's okay, you're safe now and that's all that really matters. Please don't cry Y/N/N, it's okay angel."

His sweet words of reassurance did little to quell the tsunami of tears now flowing freely from your eyes. In fact, the idea that he was now comforting you when you were the one who'd caused this problem in the first place was only making things worse. You openly sobbed against his chest, too drunk on alcohol and self-loathing to really care that every person who walked past was eyeing you both with a mixture of pity and annoyance.

It went on like this for several minutes (or maybe hours? You couldn't really be sure at this point), until Michelle cleared her throat loudly.

"Not to break up this cute little love-fest--" she ground out, discomfort breaking through her disinterested facade. "-but I'd really like to get home now."

Peter's face flushed instantly, the adorable pink flooding from his neck to the tips of his ears. He backed from you a little but kept your bodies linked by threading his fingers through yours. You couldn't help but giggle at his obvious embarrassment, your tears drying as you were suddenly flooded with feelings of adoration for your sweet boy. Peter cleared his throat and nodded at MJ.

---------------------

Peter considered himself pretty brave. He fought off thieves, muggers, and would-be bank robbers on a near nightly basis. He faced the most sinister parts of his city with absolutely no fear at all, but at the moment he couldn't have felt more like a scared child. Because if he was being really honest, the thought of facing either one of your dads made him feel scared absolutely shitless even during the best of times.

And clearly this was not the best of times.

The mere thought of trying to explain why he was not only helping you sneak back into the tower in the middle of the night, but sneaking you back in while you were completely wasted, made Peter feel like he could vomit on the spot. He knew your dads were only begrudgingly okay with the idea of the two of you dating, and the fact that he was now bringing their sweet, innocent baby girl home -- drunk-- in the ungodly hours of the morning would surely do little to endear him to them. But nevertheless, you clearly needed the help, and Peter's instinctual need to protect you outweighed the pure terror he felt when thinking of your dads.

And boy did you need help.

If he hadn't been by your side the entire time he would've sworn you'd snuck a couple more drinks on the way home. If he thought you'd been loud beforehand, it was nothing compared to now. The entire cab ride home had consisted mainly of you alternating between singing loudly as you described the concert for the millionth time, sobbing because you 'just love you so much Petey!', or you sloppily planting as many kisses all over Peter's face as you could. If he was being honest with himself, Peter would have to admit that he found your alcohol and sleep drunk state extremely cute; if he wasn't so terrified at the prospect of your dads seeing you like this, that is.

Getting you through the tower was simultaneously easier and much more difficult than Peter anticipated. Easier because you'd hacked into FRIDAY's system before you'd left and somehow deactivated the security alarm for the two of you. And so much more difficult because getting you to your room quietly was seeming virtually impossible. Outside of the fact that you practically screamed every time a new thought popped into your head (which was frequently), you also continually tripped over nothing at all and landed in a heap on the floor. Even clinging to Peter’s arm with a kind of death grip that was making his fingers feel slightly numb you still managed to find a way to fall over every few steps.

“Whoopsies!” you ‘whispered’ giggling as you looked up at him from the floor once more . Peter sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes in frustration. While he was glad you’d taken his note about talking more quietly, the stage-whisper you’d taken to speaking in wasn’t exactly an improvement. As he helped you back on to your feet for the millionth time, he glanced down the hallway to see how far the two of you still had to go. He groaned and cursed under his breath -- you were moving at a near glacial pace, and the pair of you had only made it as far as the common room. Deciding a different approach was necessary, Peter motioned with a finger to his lips for you to remain silent before swiftly picking you up. One of his arms wrapped under your knees and the other around your shoulders as he scooped you up, cradling you like a child against his chest. Ignoring the way you squealed at the sudden movement he started walking towards your room, determination written all over his face.

“How can you be so cute?” you questioned playfully. Peter’s eyes widened at the sound of your loud voice, internally begging you to quiet down. Evidently you did not get the subtle message -- instead, you attacked his face with kisses, cooing and fawning over him loudly as you did. Fear burned through Peter at the sheer amount of noise you were making and he jerked his head away from you in a futile attempt to quiet you down.

Peter looked down at you with wide, pleading eyes. He shook his head silently, motioning once more for you to remain quiet. Your face scrunched in confusion as you looked up at him, bottom lip trembling.

“Y-you don’t want my kisses?”

Peter stopped, eyes widening even more as he caught sight of your distress. Peter's heart broke as he saw the hot, fresh tears springing up in your eyes and the look of utter rejection plastered all over your features. Had you been even slightly more sober you would’ve seen the guilty look in his eyes as he realized just how his small action came across to you, but you were too wrapped up in your own feelings to notice. Those few tears had turned almost instantly to full-blown sobs, and you were now louder than ever.

“No no no no, that’s not true. You know I love your kisses sweetheart,” Peter whispered urgently. He glanced nervously down the hallway, praying silently that you hadn’t woken anyone and that you wouldn’t get any louder. You scoffed, oblivious to his fear and overwhelmed with that kind of indignation that only drunk people could seem to muster up.

“You don’t!” you exclaimed loudly, shoving yourself out of Peter’s arms in protest. “You don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t pull away!”

“I’m sorry, so sorry, Y/N/N,” Peter murmured desperately, hands reaching out to try and connect with yours. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I just don’t want to wake anyone up or get you in trouble.”

You slapped his hands away, thoroughly enraged and too stubborn to listen to his reasoning.

“That's not even true, you just hate me! Go ahead and just say it!” you shouted. Peter’s eyebrows shot up practically to the ceiling, complete shock written across his face.

“What?! No no no no, Y/N/N that’s absolutely not true, you have to know that's not t--”

Peter’s pleading was abruptly cut off as the lights above the two of you flicked on and the entire common room flooded with light. Peter froze, hands still held upwards in defense as he faced you, too scared to turn and face the source of the light.

“Underoos?” he heard Mr. Stark’s confused voice from behind him. “Y/N? What the hells going on?”

Peter swallowed thickly before turning to see the entirety of the team gathered in the doorway, all clearly having woken up to the commotion you were causing. If he wasn’t so completely petrified he might have found their various choices of sleepwear interesting. But he didn’t exactly have time to think about how Thor was wearing large fluffy pajama bottoms embroidered with storm clouds right now. Especially as he caught sight of your dads’ expressions. Arms crossed and clearly fuming with anger, Bucky was sending Peter a glare that could only be described as murderous as he appraised the scene in front of him, and Steve looked to be thoroughly confused. Clearly the slower of the two to wake, he was standing near his husband with sleep-ruffled hair and an expression like he was struggling to process the fact that he was even out of bed, much less the scene in front of him.

“Yes Parker, please do explain why my daughter is crying in the middle of the night and what you’re even doing here at all,” Bucky barked.

“Hey-- uh -- Y/N she was...I-I was just trying to--” Peter stuttered, unable to really muster much of a response. He always thought that people were exaggerating when they said they were paralyzed by fear, but he knew that in this moment that they were right. It felt like he was trapped under the terrifying weight of your dad’s menacing look -- sheer panic swirled and clouded his thoughts, and he felt his mind go completely blank.

You, even though you’d been livid with him mere moments ago, seemed to sense his discomfort and threaded your fingers through Peter’s in a show of support. Peter felt his breath hitch just the slightest bit at your affectionate response, the crushing weight on his chest lifting just a little. He glanced at you quickly, sending you a look of appreciation as he squeezed your hand gently. You grinned upwards, all resentment clearly forgotten.

“Ahem,” Tony cleared his throat amusedly. Peter felt his cheeks heat up, embarrassment filling his chest and mixing with the fear that lingered there. You, however, seemed completely oblivious to the severity of the situation.

“Hi guys. Nice jammies Thor,” you grinned sweetly at the team, waving your free hand in greeting. Several people chuckled, evidently amused at your behavior, and Thor yawned widely before shooting you a thumbs up. Your dads seemed to be the only ones still angry, Steve having to seemingly caught on to what was happening.

“Y/N Barnes-Rodgers, what on earth is going on here?” he asked harshly, arms coming to rest across his chest. Rather inappropriately and to Peter's extreme discomfort, you giggled loudly instead of an appropriate response.

"You look so funny with your hair like that," you giggled uncontrollably, the hand not currently entwined with Peter's resting on your stomach as you laughed. Peter closed his eyes, unable to physically stand the awkward tension surrounding the two of you any longer.

"Kid, level with me. Is she shit-faced?" Sam's amused and slightly shocked voice broke through the silence. Peter's eyes shot open, mouth agape as Bucky's glare deepend and his face turned a concerning shade of red. Steve, much like Peter, simply looked appalled at the accusation. His expression shifted from one of denial, to rage, profound sadness, and finally back to angry as he came to terms with what was going on. Peter opened and closed his mouth several times, wishing for nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow him whole, when his attention was suddenly pulled back to you.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," you mumbled, face rapidly paling and both hands flying towards your mouth. Peter's hands were instantly on you, resting over the small of your back and rubbing gently as concern washed over him. You spared him a single wide-eyed glance before darting down the hall.

"Oh my little дорогая," Wanda hummed sympathetically as she breezed past Peter to follow you. Nat wasn't far behind her, patting Peter fondly on the back as she too disappeared into your room.

"Parker."

Peter gulped audibly before slowly turning to face the rest of the team. Sam and Clint were laughing uncontrollably while Thor simply chuckled beside them, Tony had a gleam in his eye that betrayed his utter amusement at the situation, and now both of your dads were glaring at Peter with so much sheer force he was honestly surprised he wasn't already dead.

"If I were you I'd start explaining. Now." Steve addressed him firmly, leaving no room for discussion. Peter sighed again and started to tell the entire story of how he'd gotten to this point. His hands were shaking the entire time and he was honestly pretty proud that he didn't physically pass out under Bucky's rage-filled stare.

By the end, Sam and Clint had all but fallen to the floor they were laughing so hard. Thor was nowhere to be seen, having left the room after he lost interest in the topic at hand. Bruce had sent Peter a compassionate look before he too left, presumably heading back to bed now that he knew there was no immediate threat.

Well, to anyone except Peter that is.

Though Steve had left mid-way through Peter's recounting, Bucky hadn't moved an inch. He was still standing stoically in front of Peter, eyes dark with anger and distrust, arms crossed tightly against his chest. Peter couldn't take his eyes off your dad's metal arm, fretting silently about the many possibilities the lethal appendage held.

"So let me get this straight," Tony interrupted Peter's mental musings. "You're saying Y/N snuck out to see some concert and didn't ask you to go with her, but then called you because she was too drunk to get home on her own?"

Peter nodded fervently.

"That...makes perfect sense to me," Tony shrugged, looking over at Bucky. Turning his icy stare towards Tony for a moment, Bucky's arms finally fell to his sides, fists clenched in anger.

"No it doesn't." he growled. He jammed his finger accusingly towards Peter. "He's lying."

Tony rolled his eyes, but before he could reply he was cut off by Steve popping his head out of your room.

"Buck. We've got a problem."

"Yeah, I know," Bucky scoffed, eyes never leaving Peter's face as he replied.

"Bucky." Steve snapped. "I mean an actual problem."

Brows raised in surprise, Bucky paused only momentarily before rushing over to his husband. Peter shared a quick glance with Tony, worry coating his features as he followed Bucky into your room.

"Come on doll, open up," Bucky was pleading through your bathroom door. Steve was standing just to the side of him, fingers threading tiredly through his blonde locks. Peter felt his brows furrow in confusion.

"No!"

"Nat, what's going on?" he asked quietly as you continued to argue with your dads through the door. Nat smiled knowingly.

"She's locked us all out. Says she won't talk to anyone except you wonderkid."

Peter felt his face flush bright red at the implication, and the butterflies that'd been laid dormant for so long fluttered hopefully in his stomach. They were quickly squashed as he caught your dad staring daggers at him, and he gulped once more.

"Peter, would you mind?" Steve asked tiredly. Peter's eyes widened and he physically turned to see if there was another Peter he could possibly be talking to.

"M-me?" he squeaked. Steve nodded, and Peter cautiously approached your bathroom door before knocking lightly with shaky hands. "Y/N/N? It's me, can you open the door please?"

"Petey?" you mumbled through the door. Peter's heart felt heavy at the way you sounded so small. It was clear you'd been crying more, and his hands twitched with the desire to comfort you.

"Yeah it's me angel," he murmured. "Can you come out? Please?"

You hesitated for a moment, and Peter would've sworn the everyone in the room was holding their breath waiting for your response.

"No."

Peter sighed, deflating like a balloon and leaning his forehead against the door.

"Come on sweetheart, Peter's here now like you wanted. Can you please unlock the door?" Steve pleaded.

"No! You guys are just gonna make him leave as soon as I'm out, and I don't want him to go!" you protested stubbornly. Bucky clapped his hands over his face in exasperation.

"Doll you know the rules, your...friend isn't allowed to stay overnight," Bucky retaliated firmly, glaring at Peter once more.

"Then I'm not coming out!".

Peter groaned in disbelief, head banging lightly against the door. This was not how he thought his night would be going. Or rather morning? He realized suddenly that he didn't even know what time it was at this point. All he did know was that you and your dad were two of the most stubborn people on the planet, and he might be stuck outside your bathroom door for the next few days if one of you didn't relent soon. His eyelids grew heavy at the mere thought, entire face pressing against the door in total exhaustion.

"Okay," Steve interjected, hands raised in surrender. "Okay fine. Y/N, Peter can stay."

"What?!"

Both Peter's confused squeak and Bucky's roar immediately echoed one another, the two of them flabbergasted by Steve's concession.

"Steve. Absolutely not. No way," Bucky growled, eyes wide as he shot his husband a look of pure shock. Steve frowned at him, crossing his arms defiently across his broad chest.

"Buck. It's late, I'm too tired to deal with this now. They can stay on the couch, in the living room that way we can keep an eye on them," Steve replied. Bucky gaped at him, eyes travelling between him and Peter as his mouth opened and closed wordlessly. "I mean for God's sake look at Peter! The poor kid's about to fall asleep standing up!"

"Hmm?" Peter hummed, too tired to lift his head much from the door. Natasha clicked her tongue, pity written all over her face. Bucky crossed his arms too, face dark as he contemplated things. After a period of tense silence, he finally sighed, arms falling to his sides.

“Fine,” he growled. “But I’m not happy about it.”

“Okay,” Tony chirped, clapping his hands together and startling the half-asleep Peter. “So it's settled! You hear that Y/N? Spiderling can stay, so you can open up now.”

Peter glanced hopefully towards the door, praying silently for you to finally see reason and come out. The entire team stared for a few moments, everyone wordlessly waiting for you to respond. Slowly the sound of the lock clicking open broke the silence of the room, and Peter outwardly sighed in appreciation. You cautiously opened the door, innocent wide eyes scanning the room before you stepped out fully to sheepishly face the group.

Your face was still paler than usual, though it was worlds better than the white-and-green color you’d been as you ran away. There were stains from your tears marring the soft skin of your cheeks, and your eyes sparkled with a look of such exhaustion and guilt that it took Peter’s breath away a little. Instinctually, he opened his arms for you and you gratefully stepped into the fold of his embrace. Burying your face into Peter’s chest like a little kid, you rubbed your nose against the soft fabric of his shirt and hummed lowly in comfort. Peter’s face rested lightly atop your head, eyes closing once more as a synchronized wave of exhaustion overcame you both.

“Barf. Alright, seeing as this little show seems to be over with now, I’m going back to sleep,” Tony’s loud chuckle broke the silence of the room once more. The rest of the team muttered their agreement, everyone filtering out as they said their goodbyes. You detangled yourself from Peter, sleepily murmuring something about changing into your pajamas. Peter took it upon himself to leave your room then, not wanting to push your dads’ patience any further than you already had for the evening. Steve too left the room, clapping Peter on the back as he set out in the direction of his room and quietly thanking him.

It wasn’t long before Peter found himself lying on the common room’s couch, covered in a mountain of blankets with you wrapped around his body and sleeping soundly. You were sprawled out on practically top of him, arms and legs tangled around him in such a way that he wasn’t entirely sure where your limbs started and his ended. You were lying facing one another with your arms and legs clung around his middle, fingers wound tightly into the small hairs on the back of his head, and face pressed into his chest. His own arms were wrapped securely around your body, still slightly afraid that you would fall off the side of the plush sofa even though you’d clearly locked onto him on your own. Despite the somewhat strange positioning of your bodies, Peter felt immense comfort from your presence; the butterflies in his stomach were dancing around joyfully as he sleepily appraised your features and tried his best to commit them to memory. Your face was adorably squashed a little due to the way you pressed it into his chest, and Peter couldn’t help but find you incredibly cute in this moment. Even with the clear line of drool running from your mouth pooling on his chest.

Yawning quietly, Peter snuggled a little deeper into your hold and hummed happily when he felt your sleeping limbs pull him in closer. Finally ready to put this day to rest, he closed his eyes contentedly. He was nearly asleep, breaths slowing to an even pace when suddenly all the hairs on his body stood upright. Heart racing, he scanned the darkened room worriedly, wondering what could cause his senses to go haywire all of the sudden. When he could find no immediate sources of danger he almost chalked his body’s response up to a state of pure sleep-deprivation, and he was just about to settle in once more when he saw it.

A figure, dark and hidden in the shadows of the room that had only the nearly rising sun as a source of light, sitting near the windows and watching the two of you. Peter’s heart rate immediately picked up speed as he willed his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. Slowly, the figure came into focus.

It was your dad.

Bucky was sitting stoically in a chair, arms crossed as he sullenly watched the two of you. He caught Peter’s frantic gaze on him and smiled darkly at his daughter’s boyfriend. Motioning for him to continue, Bucky settled back into his chair with a threatening and somewhat gleeful expression on his face. Peter swallowed thickly, snapping his eyes away from the super-soldier and scrunching them closed as his heart thudded against his ribacge. You stretched out a little in your sleep -- completely oblivious to your dad’s presence as you happily cuddled into Peter’s embrace. Peter laid like that for an immeasurable amount of time, heart still pounding wildly and body frozen against yours. He felt paralyzed under the weight of your dad’s stare and wondered internally what he’d ever done to deserve the position he was in now.

At least he was used to going without sleep, because it didn’t seem like he’d be getting any anytime soon.

Taglist: @rororo06

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mollymauk-teafleak · 3 years

Text

and I’m building it with you

This is an addition to my toymaker Percy fic, done as a Christmas present for my wonderful friend @minky-for-short who is just fantastic and wonderful and deserves the best <3

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3!

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Percy finds himself on babysitting duty, something he should be far better prepared for than he is...

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Having a child in his toy store shouldn’t have made Percy as nervous as it did. He saw so many of them every single day.

On one level he knew that, of course he did. But it didn’t help that this was the child of the woman who he...well.

A woman he was growing rather fond of.

It had been a slow morning when Vex had burst through the doors of his store in the early hours of the morning. Percy had been sitting behind the counter without so much as some sanding to do, scribbling some new concepts in his notebook, when the door had opened so quickly he’d worried the bell would fly off its hook.

Seeing Vex standing there had made his chest feel a little tight but in that good way he was starting to get used to. She did come by most mornings now, midway through after her early shift at the bakery to bring him some pastries that hadn’t sold from the bakery and a coffee. At first it had been to talk about how Raven enjoyed his Winter’s Crest gift, giving feedback on how the little wooden bear moved and functioned. Now it was weeks past Winter’s Crest and Vex was still coming nearly every morning if she worked the right hours. And now they talked about everything and anything that came into their heads, minutes running past nearly completely unnoticed.

Percy wasn’t sure how Vex saw him now, as a friend or as the man behind the counter in a strange little store or anything else. He just knew she brightened his days.

He’d been about to smile and say how lovely it was to see her earlier than usual when he’d noticed just how harried she’d looked, how she’d clearly been going at a frantic pace, the panic and guilt in her eyes. Of course there was always guilt settled in the back of her eyes, like clouds stirring in a slate grey sky, but this morning it had been at the forefront as the story came pouring out.

Being called into work last minute on a day off, Vax and Shaun having left the city to spend a week in Marquet for Shaun’s birthday, no one else available to watch Raven, could Percy maybe, could he possibly, only if it wasn’t too much trouble but she didn’t know where else to go.

Percy had agreed immediately of course, accepting the warm weight of the little boy into his arms. He didn’t need her to say it in so many ways but he understood how important her job was to her, how much she needed the money it brought in. There had been a time in his life when every minute had been counted in coppers too.

And the look of relief on her face when he’d agreed, when he’d promised it was all okay and he’d take care of Raven until her shift ended in a few hours, was worth so much.

But now the door had closed and he was left alone, holding a seven month old boy and, if he was being absolutely honest, no clue at all how to look after one at all.

But how hard could looking after a kid in a toyshop be?

Percy had broken his third pencil in twenty minutes, cracked to splinters in his grip like the first two. He slumped until his forehead hit the counter with a painful thunk.

And still Raven kept wailing at the top of his lungs.

Percy made himself jerk up, pushing back his chair and sinking back down beside Raven’s stroller. The little toddler, this tiny little thing that could make so much gods damn noise, with Vex’s soft, sweet eyes and her dark hair and those enormous ears, thrashed in his puffy winter coat, face red with the effort of his crying.

He’d been like that ever since Vex had left, after one last kiss to his chubby cheeks. He’d watched her round the corner with his enormous dark eyes, and no sooner had the last edge of her scarf disappeared from view than his lower lip began to tremble, his eyes filled and his lungs burst.

An hour later and he still hadn’t stopped. Percy had dangled shiny things in front of him, he’d offered him the bottle Vex had left in his backpack, he’d turned the radio in to try and give him something to listen to but none of it had worked.

“Look,” Percy hissed through a very tense jaw, firmly reminding himself that he could not lose his patience with a baby, “I know this isn’t where you want to be. I know I am no one’s first choice for a babysitter. But I’m what you have, okay?”

Raven just wailed harder, clutching his little wooden bear that Vex had passed on was named Trinket. He held it tight in his pudgy little fists, pulling it close as if in comfort.

Percy exhaled, shoulders slumping, any frustration that had been building draining out of him. He could remember when a little boy with dark hair had clung onto a cloth bird just like that when he’d wanted someone to come and stroke his hair and keep him safe.

“You just miss her, don’t you?” he murmured.

Raven burbled miserably, eyes huge and streaming. Percy shook his head at himself, genly picking him up out of his stroller, settling him on one hip as he walked to the door, turning the sign to closed. They’d barely had a handful of people in the shop all day anyway and clearly this young man required his full attention. And deserved it.

“You seem a curious little chap,” Percy hummed, bouncing him gently to chase away the last of his sniffling, which had petered off as soon as he’d been picked up, “Maybe you’d like to see my workshop?”

Not many people would find the little room he kept at the back of his shop as a comfort. But with no room with his little apartment for the bigger tools he needed for his work, that space had become his little piece of calm. Everything was ordered there, everything in its proper place. He could put his hand on whatever he needed, make beautiful things and solve any problem. Things made sense as long as he had that heavy door closed behind him.

Which was why he’d never invited anyone else in here. But he could make an exception for Raven.

Almost immediately, the little boy seemed entranced. Percy didn’t know if it was the shine of the tools lined up on the wall pegs in their neat marker outlines or the warmth of the old furnace combined with it’s gentle crackling but his hitching shoulders stopped almost immediately. He made a kind of soft humming instead, not unlike the purring of a cat.

Percy smiled, “See? I thought you’d like it in here. You look like a young man who appreciates quiet.”

He took a seat at the workbench, making sure to sweep away any wood shavings with his free hand. He’d been painting the last time he’d sat there just before opening, his case of paint pots was by his elbow, a neat rainbow of colours in their little leather pockets. The carved animals he’d been bringing to life were half done; he’d always intended to come back to them at the end of the day. There was a dragon crouched before them, coiled as if ready to spring, top half in a pale pine and back half in glittering green scales.

Raven’s huge eyes fixed on it immediately, mouth dropping open in awe.

Percy chuckled, “Would you like to watch me finish him off? He looks rather odd like that.”

Raven made a burble that seemed very much in the affirmative so Percy set him in his lap, with Trinket in his little one, and let him lean against the edge of the bench as he selected a brush. He found the pearlescent green he’d been using, back in its proper pocket of course, making sure Raven could see it catch the light as it dripped from the brush.

It really did seem that as long as he had something to look at and someone holding him, the little half elf was perfectly content. He only made the slightest of happy, contented noises as he watched Percy fill in each tiny scale, slowly bringing the dragon from dull pine to colourful life. Before long, he found himself smiling fondly, an emotion he welcomed but couldn’t quite name roiling in his chest at the fact that Raven trusted him so much.

Percy had very clever eyes to go along with his clever hands. Just like he didn’t need to be told that Vex needed to take every shift she was given, he didn’t need to be told that their situation before she’d moved in with her brother and his husband had been less than ideal. It was in the way her eyes darted quickly around the room each time she entered, like she was dramatically mapping it to see how to respond. It was in how tightly she clung to everything that mattered to her, it had been a good handful of visits before she’d let Percy hold Raven. It was in those clouds of guilt and sadness moving behind her beautiful grey eyes, like everything she did, some buried part of her mind questioned. Someone who spoke with another’s voice.

He would recognise those signs a mile off. He saw them in the mirror everyday.

And it leaked onto Raven as well, the same ink stained the both of them. There was a bond between them that was in addition to the one between a mother and a child, something sadder and stranger.

So he was more than touched that Raven settled into his company so easily. He understood what it took.

And Vex’ahlia…

He would take his time. He would do nothing until he was completely and totally sure it was what she wanted. And if that never happened, well, he was happy just to be her friend.

Together, he and Raven painted all of the animals he had left, the dragon got his shining green scales, the lion got his rich honey gold coat, the giraffe got his blotches, the parrot got his rainbow brilliance. Hours must have slipped by in drops of shining colour, with Percy humming to himself and Raven eventually dozing in perfect contentment, neither of them paying the slightest bit of attention.

Because when Vex pushed back the door to the shop, face set in a confused frown as to why the store would be closed in the afternoon, knowing to go straight to the workshop when she didn’t see either of them behind the counter, she came in to find them both asleep. Percy, nodding in his work chair, chin tucked to his chest and Raven curled up tightly in his arms, settled happily and safely.

Vex felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight. Even Vax and Shaun struggled to get Raven to go over, he’d usually refuse for anyone but her. To see his face, soft and gentle in untroubled sleep, held so safe and protected in Percy’s arms brought tears to her eyes before she could stop them.

But maybe that was okay.

She didn’t wake them up right away, enjoying the little scene too much to ruin it. As she leaned in the doorway of the workshop and the gentle smile crossed her face, she felt the same want ache in her chest, the one she’d been feeling for some time now. And she told herself the same thing she had again and again.

Take your time.

#percahlia #toymaker percy au #modern au #fluff #baby fluff #please reblog and comment!#critical role

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piracytheorist · 3 years

Text

A Kiss for Good Luck (8/15)

Summary: So this is the story of one born lucky, and one born unlucky. Fate will keep making them cross paths, but is it to bring them together, or to test them? Captain Swan AU.

A/N: This will hurt. I am sorry.

Rating: T (make sure you’re okay with the warnings on AO3) Warnings: This chapter contains character death, some depictions of violence, depictions of poor and unhealthy coping mechanisms, as well as a toxic relationship. Any intercourse and physical touch in general is fully consensual, but emotionally the relationship may appear upsetting to some. Also there are some elements that may resemble emotional self-harm.

Word count for this chapter: 4k (48k in total) AO3

Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3

Chapter 8: Killian Jones, October 19th 2011 – October 24th 2015

The kiss is deeper than he expected. Killian pushes the woman back, but gently. He was the one who gave her permission to kiss him, after all.

"I thought it would be a quick kiss. I have a girlfriend."

Her brows are going wild. "Shit. Sorry."

He's so stupid. What would Milah think? "'Salright. Go pee."

"Yes. That,” she slurs. “Thank you again."

Just as the woman closes the bathroom door behind her, Milah appears above him.

“You okay?” she says.

He looks at her confused, before he realizes it's not that normal to sit on the floor while at a club. “Yeah,” he says. “Just very, very drunk.”

She gives him her hand, he takes it, then she starts pulling at him. “Let's go outside for some air. There's too much smoke in here.”

“I wanna pee!”

She drags him up. “You can pee outside! Let's go!”

It feels better outside. The cool, clean air wakes him up a bit.

Milah throws her arms around Killian's neck and pulls him to lean his forehead on hers. He smells the martini in her breath, landing hot against his lips.

He closes his eyes. He could stay like this forever, and how he wishes this moment lasted that long...

“How sweet,” a sharp voice says from the side.

They turn together to see Gold staring at them, his hands crossed on the handle of his cane. There's two big guys flanking him, and Killian pulls Milah aside, stepping in front of her.

“What do you want?” Killian says.

“I did wait,” Gold says. “I held back, let you take my wife away from me.”

“Shut up,” Milah says, moving to Killian's side. “Our marriage was over long before I met Killian.”

Gold looks at her, hand grabbing the cane hard.

“You... you followed us here?” Milah says, suddenly realizing. “What the hell? Where's Jack?”

“You have no right to ask about him,” Gold says and takes a brisk step forward. “You went against my conditions for meeting him. You brought that bastard with you!”

Milah flinches, and Killian's left hand grabs onto hers.

“And you?” Gold looks at him. “Going behind my back to take my son on your side? Trying to buy his love?” His face seems to barely contain his rage as he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a handgun.

Killian's hand squeezes Milah's as his other one raises up in defense. “Whoa, Gold, wait-”

Gold shoots.

Though Killian’s ears are ringing from the exploding sound, he hears Milah's trembling sigh. It feels like it's hours later that he turns to look at her, eyes going straight for the growing red spot on her chest.

And then she's falling.

“No,” he whispers and holds her, gently breaking her fall.

Her eyes are moving wildly, then she coughs and a thin trail of blood runs from the corner of her lips.

“No, no. Milah...”

She focuses on him. “I love you,” she whispers. She gasps one last time, then she's limp in his arms.

It's like even more hours pass. He feels her hot blood staining his hands.

Her eyes are closed. She's not breathing. Only her blood moves, dripping out of her body even though her heart has stopped beating.

“No,” he says.

He hears the tapping sound of a cane, and he looks up to see Gold standing above him, gun aimed at him. His henchmen also aim their handguns at him.

“What are you waiting for?” Killian says. “Finish it.”

What else can he say? It's not as if he'd leave him to tell the tale.

“Oh, no. You won't be so lucky,” Gold says, but he doesn't move.

Killian manages to hold himself back only long enough to set Milah down gently, then he lunges at Gold, grabbing the gun.

It all happens in half a second.

Gold shoots, Killian's ears are ringing again, and he sees two fingers fly off in a sudden fountain of blood.

He drops down to his knees. His left hand hangs limp in a way no hand should. The thumb and index finger are missing, and there's a gaping crescent hole, starting under his middle finger and reaching to the middle of his wrist.

The pain hits him suddenly and a scream erupts from his throat.

His vision comes and goes; one moment Gold is standing above him, the next Killian is leaning over Milah, the blood spilling from his hand onto her unmoving body.

There's more people screaming; people shouting; sirens, blue and red lights...

Then white. So much white.

Killian is just three days younger of twenty-eight when he once again thinks how he's cursed.

Milah is dead, there is no doubt about that. His hand was amputated, and he has to spend a whole week in the hospital before the doctors clear him for a transatlantic flight.

In the meantime he learns that Milah's body was sent back to England, per Gold's request.

At first, he finds it impossible; but the cops who'd questioned him about the assault soon inform him that Gold has solid alibi in London at the time of the murder.

Killian almost shuts down in the week he has to spend in there; Gold must have stolen Killian's phone before fleeing the scene of the crime, and Killian has no way of contacting Nemo, and he didn't let him know the specifics of his trip in the first place, like when exactly his return trip would’ve been.

If Nemo had known, he would have worried after not getting any news from Killian the day he was supposed to return. He would have contacted hospitals, would have found out about the assault. Probably would even honor Killian's request to attend Milah's funeral in his place, if Killian had the guts to actually ask him for that.

And to top it all, Nemo's phone at home is out of order. Why didn't he ever bother memorizing his cell phone? Now all Killian can do is lie in his hospital bed and do his damnedest to avoid looking at where his left hand is no more.

The blasted week goes by; Killian spends the rest of his savings into a new return trip, the only one he can afford has two stops in between.

He's dead tired, hungry, with fresh dog crap under his sole, and somehow he's not surprised to see his apartment has flooded.

It's three in the morning and he contemplates walking through the ankle-deep water anyway and collapsing in his bed.

He stands so long in front of the open door of his apartment that eventually the downstairs neighbor comes to complain about water dripping into his place.

One call to the fire department later, Killian picks up his two bags – he didn't have the heart to throw Milah's stuff away – and takes a taxi to Nemo's place.

Nemo obviously got out of bed to let Killian in, and of course, he asks Killian what happened.

It's like he's seventeen again, unable to react to one of the most life-changing news he ever received, only the opposite, in the most grim way that he never dared imagine.

He's hiding his handless arm inside his jacket pocket and silently walks the stairs up to his old bedroom. He doesn't answer Nemo's questions next morning, he doesn't even sit down to get breakfast. He goes straight to the lawyer Milah had during her divorce.

Gold is paying people to give false testimony, and Killian is gonna take him down.

Too consumed in his own hatred for the man, the whole week he spent planning his comeback he didn't think of the problems the lawyer is listing now; Killian was drunk – as evidenced by hospital records – enough for his testimony to be considered debatable; he also has motive to want to get back at Gold, stronger than Gold's motive to kill his unfaithful wife three whole years post their divorce which concluded in his favour; and of course, one has to prove first that Gold's witnesses are lying before questioning Gold's alibi of more than five thousand kilometers away from the scene of the crime.

Killian doesn't return to Nemo's place. His own apartment stinks, damp and moldy, half of his furniture and appliances were ruined, but at least his bed is functioning, and he can't deal with Nemo's sympathy right now.

He needs to take Gold down. He can't have any more distractions.

It takes him a month to remember his therapist. He checks his emails for the first time since the assault, and he feels he loses another part of him at the news of his therapist moving towns to study for a doctorate; she's suggested other therapists at him, followed by two more emails of asking if everything is okay, then nothing.

Killian looks at the names and phones of the suggested therapists as if they're threats to his consciousness. He actually laughs. Dr. Eriksen had him since before he was even an adult and she knew everything about his fucked-up adolescence. Where would he even begin with someone new?

He deletes the email.

For two years, his whole life centers around finding weak spots in Gold's armour. He quits from Shakespeare's boat rental and works at stock in the harbor. It's a tough, time-consuming job, but it keeps him in view of the sea and gets his mind off his pain. Alcohol takes over that job in his time off.

He stops drawing; Milah used to draw with him and it nearly breaks him to pick up a pencil to sketch. The last thing he sketches is the design for the tattoo with her name on it that is soon permanently inked on his arm.

Two years of trying, as much as his exhausted psyche and a mind always leaning towards booze can handle, and the best he manages is to break into Gold's house, hack through his computer and locate some suspicious activity between Gold's bank account and the one of one of his witnesses.

Thirteen years of no spots in his criminal record mean nothing to the law when there are spots in it in the first place, and he's arrested for breaking and entering.

Nemo responds to Killian's call to bail him out, even though Killian has barely spoken to him in two years. However, the disappointment is, for the first time since Killian met him, visible on his face.

“It's your decision,” Nemo tells him after Killian is out. “Your path to choose, and your life to ruin.”

If it were anyone else, Killian would be flipping him off. But Nemo is the one who took Killian in as an assortment of broken pieces and put him back together, loving and patient all throughout. The one who has always been too good to be called a mere father.

“It's not just wanting to get back at that bastard,” Killian says, nearly shouting. At Nemo's small flinch, Killian breathes in and out. Among all his losses, it's the first one that has filled him with such rage. “That monster killed her in cold blood. And he's out there now, not paying for his crime-”

His voice is too unsteady now to accommodate shouting.

“It's not just personal. He killed her-” A soft sob breaks his sentence in half. “-and he's walking free.”

“The world is not fair,” Nemo says in a very soft voice, hand resting on Killian's shoulder. “Come home, son. This isn't what you need right now.”

“No. I need to see him behind bars.”

“You need to grieve.”

Killian scoffs, laughing mirthlessly. “It's been two years.”

“Exactly.”

He drops his gaze. If he looks at Nemo's face right now, he may crumble, and his efforts of two years – albeit not very successful – will be rendered pointless. The time he lost, the damage he's done to himself, to his relationships with everyone, Nemo, Shakespeare, Will and Tink, it will all be for nothing.

And worst of all, he'll be yet another one who will do Milah wrong. If he gives up, he'll be doing to her nothing better than what Gold did, and the very thought sickens him.

There's only one thing he changes. His drinking has reached new levels, and he needs, if nothing else, to survive in order to bring Gold down. So for now, AA meetings are something.

At first, he only talks about how he manages to stay clean, how he slips and how he tries to not beat himself up over it. His fifth meeting is on a particularly bad day; the story of watching the love of his life die slips from him, and across the circle he gets looks of pity that he hates.

If only he told everyone about the furious thoughts for revenge on Milah's murderer that have been plaguing his every waking thought for the past two years.

He slumps in his seat and stays silent for the rest of the meeting. He shouldn't have come today, he should have known he would be too emotional to think rationally before speaking.

The meeting ends and he's already made up his mind to look into other AA groups before he even exits the building.

“Excuse me,” a voice calls at him.

He turns. It's Eloise Gardener, one of the attendees.

“On the last meeting you mentioned that mental activities keep your thoughts away,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“I'm hosting gardening classes, two evenings a week at the Bare Feet Greenhouse. I thought I could invite you to join, they're already quite cheap and I'll give you a discount.”

“Your name is Gardener, innit?”

She smiles. “And I am a gardener. Shocking, I know. But I've found it's a good distraction, especially knowing you're taking care of a life. You get the satisfaction without committing to... raising a child, let's say.”

Killian decides it's worth a try; unlike the AA meetings, raising a plant actually has visible proof of progress.

He stops coming to the meetings, but Eloise doesn't ask him why. She teaches him and guides him through providing a good environment for his plants.

One night after class, she helps him move the pots with his grown plants to his apartment. He doesn't truly invite her in, and when she initiates a kiss with him, he takes a few seconds of thinking before he realizes he doesn't mind that much.

It's just fuck, and Eloise doesn't seem to be thinking it's anything deeper than he does.

If he thinks it's any deeper, he'll just be haunted again by that miserable thought, that the last person he kissed before Milah died was not Milah herself, but a random stranger whose face he wasn't even sober enough to remember.

Eloise leaves and within minutes, he's left as well to search for any open store that sells booze. Rain is pouring down, cars splash him until he's soaking wet, but he finally gives up when he trips and falls, his leg hurting too much to take him too much further.

Even the couple of hours he stays in the hospital while they put a walking cast on him feel unbearable. Two years have gone by and the memories of hospital misery are still too raw.

Eloise doesn't comment on the cast nor his continued absence from the AA meetings. She invites him to her place and after they have sex he asks if he can stay the night. That way it's much easier to avoid looking for a drink to deal with how disgusted he feels.

Even the other people attending the gardening lessons wouldn't imagine Eloise and Killian are sleeping together – and Killian is attending two different classes side by side. Not that there's anything to show for it. They just fuck, sleep in the same bed, and that's all. She keeps him from running out for a drink in the middle of the night, better than any AA meeting managed, he gives her a person to have control over the way she wants, and they scratch each other's itches.

Nemo keeps trying to stay in touch with him, and Killian nearly blocks his number out of pure shame. Perhaps if Nemo realizes he's been blocked he'll stop bothering.

Killian has practically moved in with Eloise now, or she with him; in any case, they'll sleep in the same bed every night, whether it's the one in Killian's apartment or the one in Eloise's house.

He cannot connect who he was before with who he is with Eloise now. Before Nemo even adopted him officially, Killian had allowed him to pick up his pieces and make him a functional human. With Milah, it was Killian who was the whole, the rock she could lean on.

With Eloise, he can once again be broken, but without any expectation to get fixed back up – and he's too tired for unrealistic expectations. He can stay the mess that he is, sharing his body and his space with her so that he can feel something, even when the feeling isn't the best. Eloise is controlling and demanding, and Killian's feelings for her range from fear to disgust, but he prefers those over pain, grief, rage, and a continuously burning thirst.

It's easier to hate his... “partner” than to hate everything else in his life, including himself.

He's actually shocked to realize two years have passed since his first time with Eloise, and nothing at all has changed. Their feelings didn't change towards one way or another; they just kept fucking, sleeping next to each other, and going by their day without thinking about each other.

He almost hates it when she asks him to ride with her to a concert in Maidstone. Not only because she's making ensuring no-one assaults her sound like a chore, but also because he's still not ready to enjoy music he used to love. Especially not in her presence. Being in her company is not a circumstance that fits happy thoughts.

There's a lot of things he's been denying himself since Milah died. Everything that used to make him happy, even the company of his family, feels sullied now.

He doesn't expect to enjoy the concert. But Eloise buys his ticket and drives the car, so he decides that he can tolerate one night of being a boy toy to discourage sleazebags.

It doesn't even feel that special that his birthday is tomorrow; he lost Liam a few days after his fifteenth birthday, and Milah a few days before his twenty-eighth. Maybe it's just not in the cards for him to celebrate it again.

For three whole hours, he forgets everything. There's just the music, and the lights, and his throat getting sore from singing without a care.

There is, of course, the occasional groping, people stepping on his feet, even getting an elbow to the ribs, but for him it's all par of the course now. Including checking his pockets afterwards and realizing that twenty pounds are missing. And Eloise being... well, Eloise.

“You were supposed to stand by my side,” she starts complaining after the concert is over and people start dispersing.

“I can assure you I was touched against my consent far more than you were.”

“Is that supposed to be an excuse?”

Ugh, her arrogant, calm face she makes when she tells him off. He hates it.

“If you wanted an actual bodyguard, you should have hired one. I only have one hand,” he bites back at her.

“Really? I get you a birthday gift and you consider this an appropriate response.” There’s no question mark in her tone.

“Oh, piss off. As if you've given a fuck about my birthday all these years.”

Her lips purse together, but her voice keeps that cool tenor that irritates him to no end. “I wanted to make it a good one for you. Just because you don't care about it doesn't mean no-one else does.”

He sighs. He actually had a good time and he doesn't want it ruined by her gaslighting. He's experienced people actually caring for his birthday, and he knows Eloise's words are just words. Next, she'll say that she contacted Scorpions themselves and asked them to have a concert the day before his birthday.

She shakes her head and goes for the portable toilets. At last, he can have some time on his own. He turns his head away and back to the scene, now completely empty.

No One Like You wasn't exactly the song he liked the most tonight, but it's the one he can't stop humming. He's humming!

Maybe he does owe Eloise a bit. Just a bit.

"Catchy tune, huh?" he hears from the side.

He turns, seeing a woman with a wide smile on her face.

"Oh, which one isn't?" he says, smiling back. "What a night."

The woman nods. "Did you have fun?"

The words pour out of him like vomit. "A lot of people stepped on me, I got groped, pick-pocketed, and I got in a fight with my...” – How should he call her? – “friend, but you know what?" He shrugs. "Bloody worth it."

"Oh.” Her face softens. “Sorry that you were mugged."

"Ah, it was like, twenty quid. I've known better than to carry credit cards where hands can easily reach." A very dedicated hand, maybe. There's only so many hiding spots he has.

"Do you have a ride back home?" the woman says.

He stares at her, and he feels his jaw drop when he realizes. "Bollocks. I overshared, didn't I?"

She just smiles. "I mean, I have a car, and space for two... how many of you are there?"

He scratches behind his ear. "Don't worry. We've got a car. And we going right back to Brighton, anyway."

"Oh.” She seems to think for a moment. “I don't even know where that is."

He holds back a laugh. "Figured so. From your accent."

Her smile widens. "I'm Emma," she says, extending her hand.

"Killian," he gives his hand back, careful to keep his left arm inside his jacket pocket. She's still looking at his face when he drops his hand to his side. "So... you know that they're actually having a few concerts in the States for this tour, right? How come you decided to fly all over to here?"

"Well, today... or more like, yesterday," she pauses as she checks her watch, "was my birthday. This was more like a birthday gift to me, and of course I'm going to see them in-” She pauses suddenly. “What?"

She's obviously cut off by the expression on his face. "You're not kidding? Tomorrow- or, today, is my birthday."

"Wow. Happy birthday, then."

"Happy birthday to you too. Seems it was a great one."

Emma seems happy as she looks back at the now empty stage. "I'd say one of the best ones. Does your birthday seem promising?"

His chest feels twice its normal size when she turns to look at him. Somehow, with their birthdays being so close, it feels as if her having had a great birthday is feeding his own satisfaction for that day, for the first time in four- no, five years.

Some of her slightly messy hair is sticking to her face – she probably went all out dancing tonight – and her eyes seem to droop in drowsiness, but she's absolutely glowing.

Glowing and looking at him.

When she takes a step towards him, it feels like it's gravity that's pulling his own body to her.

"It seems that way, aye," he replies.

Her eyes close when she's a few inches away from him, but he waits for the moment his lips touch hers to close his eyes.

(A/N: I want to remind the readers that this chapter is told from Killian's point of view, distorted as it is from grief, rage and isolation from the people he loves. Emotional progress is almost never visible in the short term, especially regarding addictions. Killian might have thought the AA meetings didn't help him, but it doesn't mean that giving up and depending on a controlling person to keep him clean was the healthy thing to do.

I know it's a work of fiction but some lines are easily confused, so the message I want to pass is that if you or a loved one is trying to let go of an addiction, keeping up the effort when progress isn't directly visible may be hard, but it's worth it and will eventually help.)

#Killian Jones #Captain Swan #captain swan ff #cs ff #ouat ff #akfgl #captain swan movie marathon #I swear I hadn't planned on posting this on Colin's birthday 😅#it's just how it came up #piracytheorist writes

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dontbesoweirdkira · 4 years

Text

Dating Jason Todd would include

-YOU ARE LITTLE PRECIOUS BUNNY I SWEAR YOU BRING OUT THE SOFTEST PART OF THIS BROKEN MAN

-like this dude will literally let you get away with ANYTHING and no one better stop you

-“Hey Jay I just robbed a bank and took a lollipop from that kid next door.”

-“Aww you’re so cute, Doll. Let me put out this cigarette and I’ll help you count the money, okay?”

-“Jay, Dick said I can’t have anymore ice pops!!! I really want some, it’s not fair!!”

-“ He said what?! hOld On iM gEtTinG mY Gun nO OnE TelLs mY lItTle Babe sHe caNt haVe anY iCe popS.”

-wearing his thick leather jackets that smell like cigarettes and expensive scotch

-Stealing his 1/16263819827 Red hoods and waddling around the house while he’s out on patrol

-“Hey I’m RedHood and I have DaDdY IssUes, prepare to diEee!!! *pew pew*”

-“is that how I sound to you?! Because I don’t *pew pew* I *brrraaatratratatataaa* get it correct Y/N”

-Your tough edgy boyfriend

-If he has an off day, he’ll take you on a ride on his motorcycle to wherever you want to go. If it’d make you happy, he’d drive to Paris for you if he could.

-You guys usually end up drifting by the waterside, taking in the longing smell of the sea, feeling the subtle warmth of the setting sun and melting into the welcoming breeze

-There’s this really good Sandwich stand by the oceanfront and you guys always get a large one, and share it with a nice cold bottle of Coke. There’s also this really nice private beach that you two have no business being on, you guys would sometimes just sit on one of the lifeguards stands for a while and just enjoy each other

-“Hey Jay Jay?”

-“What’s up, Love bug?

-“Your eyes have a hint of Aqua Green in them. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I just wanted you to know that, that’s all.”

-IN HOME CONCERTS EVERY SATURDAY AND OR FRIDAY.

-every week you guys make a list of your favorite classics and you build a Spotify playlist and dance around the house screaming *cough* I-i mean singing on the top of yalls lungs.

-weird adventures around the city! Like you guys sometimes go to weird parts of the city to see some weird crap to laugh about later on.

-“Why is he wearing a tutu and dirty socks-“

-“keep walking baby girl don’t question it.”

-monthly movie nights where you guys watch a movie that has crappy 1 star reviews while eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage all night.

-“but why did he do that?”

-“according to ‘moviecridictbooiiii12’, he’s an uncultured swine who has no Character development, 1/10 trash person totally.”

-If you guys are just sitting in a comfortable silence, just cuddling, he might open up a bit about his childhood or maybe talk a bit about how he’s feeling. But that’s a rare rare occasion he doesn’t like talking much about it.

-This sometimes can cause a bit of a rift because it almost feels as if there’s a lack of trust but you understand he’s been through a whole lot and if it were you, you’d probably be the same way

-he does not like pills in the house but if you have health issues and have to take them, he won't crucify you because of it, but he will monitor you and make sure there is no drug abuse. He wants to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. He doesn't wanna lose you that way.

-He’s a depressed crackhead

-“Hey Y/N, can you tell me what’s in the drawer in the kitchen. The one next to the sink”

-“Hmm? There’s nothing in here Jason.”

-“Nothing you say? Just like my relationship with Bruce haha.”

-“Are you okay?”

-“No I am not and neither is my sleep schedule.”

-Oh yeah this Poor boy barely sleeps. Mainly because he’s out on patrol all night and when he finally gets home, he’s being called back out. Or sometimes he’s just so restless thinking about everything he needs to do. Other times he’s just scared to sleep.

-Yeah he’s pretty reluctant to go to sleep. He’s scared to have a bad dream and wake up in a vulnerable state. Or to accidentally wake you up from tossing and turning and wails of agony.

-You lost a lot of hours of sleep already do to comforting him at night so as much as he can function without a nights rest, he’ll do it to spare you

-You hate when he does this because you actually don’t mind comforting him, it makes you feel like he trusts and can rely on you.

-nightmares about the joker or the pit. Cryinggg this boy is really traumatized

-“Shhh, Jason it’ll be alright. I’m right here love.”

-Even though he avoids sleep at all costs, this doesn’t stop him from napping on the recliner or at the kitchen table from time to time.

-He’s a bit self destructive with drinking, smoking, betting himself up, not sleeping or eating properly. You really have to help him and work with him. Be patient and kind pLz.

-He doesn’t like exposing you to the stuff he does, he doesn’t like you seeing all the gore or what not so he doesn’t try to come home bloody much actually. He might stop at dicks house or some other friend’s house to clean up a bit before coming to you

-Todd doesn’t like you to see and be around all that. He wants to keep that life very very separate, he even tries to keep the news off and away from you. Although you already know and if it bothers you it not, it’s not much you can do to stop him.

-The only time you might see him bloody or hurt is when he can’t make it to a friends house and he needs you to patch him up and put him to bed quickly.

-argurmentssss

-Yeah you guys do little annoying antics back and forth but it’s not something super crucial. The only time where it heats up is like if something he’s doing really really bothers you, like his killings or if he does something super reckless. The arguments usually end up with

- “I’m sorry Doll, I’ll do better for you.”

- “Sorry JayBird, I wasn’t being fair”

-The worst an argument had ever gotten was when he didn’t come home for weeks without telling you he was out on a mission and you were scared out of your mind and ended up cursing him out for scaring you.

-You didn’t talk to him for about a week and he was a wreck

-“JASON DONT YOU DARE TRY TO KISS ME OR HUG ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE F*CKING DEAD OR WORSE! YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE I LITERALLY HATE YOU RIGHT NOW I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEEKS JASON I WAS WORRIED SICK-“

-“Hey, it’s okay Y/n- I’m here no-“

-“NO IT'S NOT LITERAL I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, GET AWAY FROM ME.”

-He cannot stand when he breaks your heart or makes you upset like he beats himself up a whole lot. He will apologize to you and do anything to make it up.

-“Stupid Todd? How can you upset the one person that seems to be so patient and loving to you? Ugh you idiot.”

-yeah he literally kissed up to you for months he felt so bad even after you apologized for overreacting and told him he didn’t need to do anything

-Yeah speaking of kissing up to you, he Buys you anything you want just ask. Looking at that super nice outfit in the mall? Check your room, it’s on your bed with a cute little note. Want an ice cream sundae? Yeah he got extra fudge/caramel for his princess.

-He just loves you like so so much he doesn’t care what you look like, how big or how skinny, how light or how dark you are. He literally adores you and wants to protect you with all his heart. He’d buy the whole world for you.

-“Jason, literal listen to me. 600 dollars for a charm bracelet I liked in the mall is too much, go return it”

-he’s a bit overprotective with you. Not in a “HEKDJEHEHEHINEEDTOKNOWWHEREYOUAREATALLTIMESSENPAI.” Kind of way but in a like “Check in every once in a while will ya babe? I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

-He doesn’t let you go outside after a certain time for ANYTHING unless it’s an emergency. It’s too dangerous in Gotham for you to be out scrolling going to a convenience store at 10pm at night. So if you need something from the store he’ll go get it for you or already have it in the house.

-Will 100 throw hands for you

-actually makes sure you can defend yourself and trains you a bit every month to make sure if trouble comes and he’s not there, you can protect yourself

-Intimacy

-Honhonhon. Although what many believe Jason has a high sex drive and wants it a lot or what not. I don’t think it’s 100% true

-I believe that like if his partner wasn’t the type of person who wanted it, or didn’t feel comfortable with it, he’d be okay with it. Like he doesn’t need it to survive although you look hecking good in that outfit today

-I feel like he’d be more kissy and rough touching than the full 100 yards with a more soft/standoffish sexually significant other.

-Yeah if he gets from a stressful mission or just needs to feel you, he’s gonna wanna kiss and touch on you but if you’re not into all that then like he’d back off because he respects you enough

-neck kisses and thigh kisses

-“jaybirdy I wanted to wear that new skirt I got yesterday, now I got your bites all over my legs.”

-he's a totally Dom and that’s on that period boo

-dAdDy KiNk I’m sorry

-His voice somehow becomes super raspy when he’s aroused?!?!

-He will tease you to a point you moan out his name and then turn around and act innocent

-“let’s watch Frozen! What’s with that face dear? You didn’t think I’d let you have it that easily now did you?”

-*wears anything short*

-”WOOOOO DAMMNNNN Y/NNNNNN LOOKING FOINE TODAY I SEE YOU! CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?!?! YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S DAMN LUCKYYY!”

-Highkey finds it so hot when you sit on his lap like damn it feels so nice to him like you know you’re his and that’s like arousing to him. Will play with the hem of your skirt if your wearing them and your thighs aren’t safe

(Anyways I ain’t trynna make this NSFW but I might do a little something for my 200 follower special)

-On a softer purer note, you guys are like the roasters of the fam, okay! Like no one is safe, especially Damian.

-“Tch- Todd and his little pet.”

-“Dami, didn’t know you’d be here, and apparently your hairline didn’t know either.”

-*Jason, Tim and Dick were dying*

-“Hey you little accident, why you standing like that, you look like you’re bout to enlist in the army.”

-“shut up Todd, at least I have good posture unlike you.”

-“Hey leave Damian alone, Jason. Dami just has a pole in his ass that makes him stand in first position all the time. It’s a serious condition, y’all need to stop laughing.”

-“Hey Selina! Your Sugar Daddy is in the kitchen, try not to steal anything though because he might cut down your weekly allowance.”

-“Haha Y/N and yours is in the living room getting drunk, careful he might end up with me tonight.”

-“Hmm, a gold digger and a cougar? Wow you got your careers set don’t ya! Ooops you should check in the mirror tho! I think your Botox is drooping.”

-yAlL CAnT sTop ROaStinG PeOpLe anD it’S wOrse When yaLls DruNk

-You’re actually pretty close to The BatFam and like Bruce Adores you he thinks you’re a wonderful influence on Jason like you changed him a lot. Dick sees you as a baby sister and like he literally baby’s you so much it’s sad. Tim and you like to joke around a bit and talk you guys get along decently. Although Damian would NEVER admit it, he actually is kinda fond of you even though you guys insult each other. He might stab someone for like hurting you or something. But watch your back because he might stab you as well.

-going to Bruce’s Galas and charity events like by force.

-“yYyyYYyyY/NnnNnNnNiEeeeEEee PLEaSE COmeEeeee sO iWOnT DrInk MySelF ouT oF tHeRe!!!”

-“Jason let go of my leg.”

-You don’t actually mind it too much, you’ve made some nice connections and plus it’s a little date night with Jason so Win Win!!

-He actually wears a nice Tux and styles his hair real nicely. Might even be wearing that nice watch Bruce gave him a long time ago on his birthday.

-*sniff sniff* is that Cologne? *sniiiiiiffffffff* *HIGHLY* Expensive cologne he’s wearing?! And *pat pat* HAIR GEL OH BOIIII

-He actually picks out a dress for you to wear. One he’s been dying to see you in. The super expensive one he found while shopping with Dick and Bruce one day.

-If some rich guy try’s flirting with you, it’s over for them. Jealous Todd Mode activated!

-“Doll Face, I found you. Love wandering off don’t you babe? When we get home, I’ll make sure you won’t want to wander off again,” He kisses into your ear hungrily “wHo’s tHiS, Y/N? Is he bothEriNg yOu?” He asks like he didn’t see him there

-“No but Jason you are.“

-“:o”

*later*

-“I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG Y/N!! HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU AND I HAD TO INSERT MY DOMINANCE.”

-“JAY HE WAS A BUSINESSMAN LOOKING TO INDORSE ME AND MY WORK! YOU JUST EMBARRASSED ME AND MADE HIM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!! LITERALLY NOW HE THINKS I HAVE AN OVER POSSESSIVE BOYFRIEND.”

-“oh-“

“YEAH ‘oH’! serIouslY I CanT stAnd yoU.”

-Jason’s drinking and smoking. Let’s just say you’re not the biggest fan of it because of his health, you’re so worried about it. He’s already taking shots and stabs but like the drinking and smoking on top of that? You’re worried about him

-You always voice your concern and he’s never too phased and he’s always like

-“Don’t worry L/N, I’ll be okay. If this kills me, don’t let Dick take my meat stash in the freezer. Tell him I’m coming back to life in like 3 months give or take and I’ll be hungry for steak.”

-Actual best boyfriend! Like if you’re insecure about anything he’ll make you feel so much better, in every way possible. He makes it so know how much he loves you it’s so sweet and super cute like I’m crying.

-makes weird faces at you randomly and it somehow gets you to laugh?!?!

-cooks breakfast or dinner for you every once in a while but messes up a few times

-“sorry y/n I accidentally burnt the cookies I was trying to make for you. I-I can go run and ask Alfred to make some? I know how long you’ve been waiting to have some.”

- Did I mention he’s best boi? Like ugggghhhh he’s so blind to all that superficial mess people get caught up in. You talk down about yourself and he’ll like attack you in love I swear he will. He doesn’t like the self deprecation you do. He completely detests it.

-“Say you’re ugly one more time I’ll slap you with this heart of mine. Don’t make me do it Y/N. I’ll give you so much love, the only thing you’ll be able to say is “Omg I love myself so much like damn I’m so sexy and so fine and my personality? Perfect! thanks to my totally handsome boyfriend, I see myself so clearly now.”

-You guys Also like spend his birthday with just each other. But it’s really special to him and he always looks forward to the small marble cake you make, that has strawberries on top. He loves when you sit on his lap with your face in the crook of his neck, whispering into his skin ever so gently telling him to ‘make a wish old man’

-something about the birthdays you spend with him, brings him back to a happy place he once felt as a child. Or wanted to feel. He always wishing for the same thing…..to always see you happy

-“Jay I love you.”

-“I love you too Y/N. Remember that okay?”

(Request open)

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photochoco · 3 years

Text

First days are always the most hectic

Black Cauldron’s newest recruit learns the ropes. She hopes she isn’t in over her head!

---

Wisty had always loved sleeping late. In a world where the night was eternal, and the city had only colored lights to indicate the time, it was easy to lose track. They often would stay up until the deep purples of “night” would slowly gradate into the bright yellows of “daytime”. People more or less adhered to the idea that yellow was for doing things and being awake, and purple was for sleeping. Though Wisty had found that the city came alive during the purple hours in a way it didn’t when the lights were yellow. They themself worked better during purple hours. Ah, night life.

But if they looked out the window now, everything was just a muddled soup of values. Greys mixed together dully. Had they known this would happen, they would’ve appreciated it all a lot more.

It’d been several weeks since they’d been cursed, and everything had changed. Wisty had tried to go on with life as normal, but quickly realized that the old “normal” was not coming back. People stared at them, whispered and glared. Creating art had been immensely frustrating. And their friends…

It had all come to a head around the time of their birthday. Wisty always enjoyed throwing a party with all their buddies, and they were determined to make this year no exception. They’d gone all out, decorating with colorful streamers that they couldn’t see, balloons everywhere, and a cake they’d made themselves.

No one had shown up.They’d been so sure their curse didn’t matter to their friends. Apparently it mattered a lot. They had curled up on their bed and sobbed their guts out for what felt like hours. It hurt, not seeing any color. It hurt even more to know the people they’d considered their friends were so ready to just abandon them for being cursed. So what if their eyes were gaping black voids? So what if they occasionally leaked? So what if they hung out at Black Cauldron? So what if they hung out with cursed people? So what if they were cursed? So what? How could that matter so much?

I’d love to hang out but...y’know how my mom feels about curses and...yeah, I don’t wanna argue with her-

Uh...what if the witch comes back…? They have tracking magic and stuff so...I don’t know-

Ergh...last time you hugged me, your eye goop got all over my clothes. I still haven’t gotten the stains out. Sorry but that’s just too messed up-

It smells really weird, like chemicals? You sure it isn’t poisonous? Yeesh-

The cake had been shoved into the fridge, but Wisty couldn’t find it in them to tear down the decorations. So they threw on a hoodie and went for a walk.

It was very embarrassing when, as they wandered around with swollen red eyelids and tear streaks on their cheeks, they ran into Dex by chance. His perpetual grin slipped as he noticed their tears, and very easily got them to say why. Wisty tried to brush it off as not being a big deal, which was very obviously a lie.

An ice cream and 30 minutes later, and Dex had insisted Wisty come with him to Black Cauldron. Something about Ela wanting to speak with Wisty about something.

What awaited them through those doors was the last thing they’d expected; a surprise party thrown together just for them. Dex, the sly nerd, had told everyone what happened. Said Wisty would not be going to bed without having a party to celebrate their birthday.

Well. After they’d managed to finally stop crying over the touching gesture, Wisty was treated to an admittedly last-minute but nonetheless wonderful party with all the Cadets. Some of them had even gone out and bought them small gifts. At the end of it all, Wisty went home happily, with a full stomach and a camera roll full of memories. These people barely knew them, yet dropped everything to give them a shotgun party. It was enough for them to finally make up their mind.

After the party, Wisty approached Ela with their answer. They wanted to become a Cadet. The new couple weeks were filled with visits to BC to meet with Ela and Harvey. Today marked the day of their orientation, and their stomach fluttered with nerves. They couldn’t really imagine themselves out there fighting yet, but the prospect of it was weirdly exciting. And it gave them something to do while they figured out what to do with their artist career. Sitting in their apartment fighting off a creeping emptiness wasn’t going to help.

They put on their headphones, tugged their hair out from behind and gave it a flip for good measure before looking themself over in the mirror. Perfect, coordinated, adorable. Wisty adjusted their headphones and took a deep breath, forcing themself to keep looking when all they wanted to do was shut their eyes.

You are okay.

In front of their apartment complex, Wisty wrestled on their roller blades, selected some music, and took off. The breeze as they skated along eased their mind some, and their favorite tunes in their ears eased it more.

They wondered if Harvey had finished designing it yet.

---

The bustling of activity in the bar of Black Cauldron was the same as always, Cadets walking around and chatting with each other. Everyone stopped though, at the sound of something banging into the front door. A few moments later, the door swung open and Wisty practically tumbled through the threshold, a pair of roller blades in her hand.

“Ack, sorry! Didn’t mean to run into the door like that.”

“Now that’s what I call an entrance,” Bianca giggled, giving a wave. “You ready for your first day?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” Wisty said, raising her arms in a stretch. “I’m like, both nervous AND excited?”

A tall mage in a bunny mask rounded the corner, a giant calligraphy pen in his hands. “Ah, perfect. I just finished the final adjustments to your weapon. Here.” Harvey held it out with both hands. Its tip gleamed of newly polished brass. Its long body was black and smooth as Wisty took it in her hands. It was-

“It’s perfect!” she squealed in her excitement. Harvey gave a satisfied nod.

“Aaaand here are your ink canisters. I took the liberty of filling them up for you already. And here are the colors in powder form, just add water. Once you run out I can make more for you. And the colors are in the order you requested so you can easily pick them without seeing the hue. There should be enough ink to last you a whole fight, but don’t y’know, go painting the entire city.”

Wisty hugged her pen and ink pack tightly to her chest like a child being gifted a new toy. “I love it I love it I love it thankyouthankyouthank youuuuuuu!!” she exclaimed, hopping up and down. She hurriedly clipped the ink canisters to the back of her belt before doing the same to her pen across her back. “How do I look?” she asked with a twirl.

Harvey’s bunny mask was stuck in a perpetual grin, but Wisty could glean from his body language that he was quite pleased with his handiwork. “You look ready for your first day! You’ll get a chance to try ‘em out today during your sparring.”

“My what?”

“Sparring!” Bianca appeared out of nowhere and slung an arm around Wisty’s neck. “You said you don’t have a whole lot of fighting experience yeah? Plus like Harvey said, you’ll totally wanna try out your weapon before heading out there, see whatcha can do!”

“Okay…” Wisty said slowly. “But who am I gonna be sparring?”

It was then that she was lifted bodily off the ground by an enormous hand, which wrapped around her middle as easily as if she were a doll.

“That would be me, cupcake. You should get a feel for what it’ll be like fighting powerful enemies with a lot of physical strength.”

“As ya probably know, ghouls are usually witch cronies, doin’ their dirty work. Not the smartest, but really damn strong,” Bianca added.

“...Did you just call Pinprick stupid? That’s not very nice!”

“Oh no, cupcake, she is mostly right. Being turned into a ghoul scrambled my brains, hehehe,” Pinprick replied with a wide smile.

Wisty paused to consider this. “...Still! Be nicer to yourself! I’m fairly sure you’re not stupid.”

“My oh my, what a sweet cupcake you are! But no time for chatter, we must be off to the sparring spot!”

“Oh cool!” Wisty looked down to be put down. “Where is it?”

“Near the outskirts of the city,” Pinprick replied as he squeezed through the small doorframe.

“Are we gonna walk then? You don’t hafta carry me, I got functional legs!”

“Nope! No walkin’,” Bianca said, walking up behind them and jumping onto Pinprick’s other arm, balancing herself against his shoulder.

“Rooftop hopping is much faster. Observe!” Pinprick bent his legs.

“WhaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--”

---

“Here we are!” Pinprick chirped, setting a very windswept Wisty down on the ground.

Well, that was another form of travel she could check off the list. Bianca hopped off Pinprick’s back and tossed a bracelet to the newbie.

“All Cadets carry these bracelets,” Pinprick explained. “They’re a magic disrupter, placing them on witches or ghouls disrupts their flow of magic to incapacitate them. But of course, they don’t always do the job, so you all need to know how to fight. That one is just a dummy bracelet of course, completely harmless.”

“Oh, okay,” Wisty said, turning it over in her hands. “So I just gotta snap the bracelet on you?”

Bianca and Pinprick exchanged a glance and a mischievous grin, with the former shoving her hands in her pockets and backing up. Way up.

“Get that bracelet on me, and we can call it a day. Unless you get it on real quick though!” the ghoul snickered.

Wisty unclipped her pen and spun it. “Oof, you don’t have to worry about that. I haven’t done a lot of fighting, remember.”

“Chin up, cupcake, back straight! Cuz here I come.”

“Ok so what--” Her words were cut off as Pinprick’s arm shot towards her at an alarming speed. “ShiT!!” Wisty barely had time to dodge out of the way, one of Pinprick’s fingers clipping her cheek.

Geezus, he’s fast!! She hopped backwards, trying to gain some distance between them. He lunged towards her again, arm outstretched to grab her. Gripping her pen, Wisty rammed it against his arm, knocking it off course. Undeterred, the rest of Pinprick caught up like a released rubberband. His massive hand swiped through the air; Wisty flipped out of the way in a backwards handspring, her foot kicking his claws away. They felt remarkably like rubber. Her sense of gravity was then thrown sideways as she slipped on her pen. She let out a sharp squawk as she landed roughly on her side.

She barely had time to feel even an inkling of embarrassment before she was slammed into the ground and pinned there by his other hand.

“Not a bad start, cupcake. But you’re gonna have to do better than that,” Pinprick crooned.

Wisty wheezed. “HhHhhhffffiiiihhhhhhhhne- Le’go please my lungs ack-”

Pinprick let her go and she stood up, wincing. Dude could pack a punch.

“Impressive maneuvers! But didn’t you just say you don’t have any fighting experience?”

Wisty swung her leg out to the side. “Gymnastics. And maybe like a month’s worth of self-defense classes while I was in high school. But that’s it.” She gripped her weapon in her hands, tightly this time.

“Ready? Again.” He lunged.

She dodged and slid underneath him, bashing the end of her pen into where she thought the back of his knee was. She must’ve struck true; the giant ghoul kneeled with a small grunt. Wisty yelped in surprise as his entire upper half pivoted to face her.

“Surprise!”

Wisty barely managed to bend out of the way of his swipe. Noticing the ridges on his arm, she grabbed one and swung herself up onto his shoulders. Pinprick bucked, trying to throw her off. She impulsively grabbed the first thing she could, his hair. It was as hard as plastic and hard to keep a grip on.

“Sorry! Sorryyyyyyyy!” she yelped as she reached for the bracelet.

Her apology was answered by Pinprick grabbing her ankle and yanking her off. Upside-down, she could see Bianca ambling up to the scene, a burger in her hand.

“Howzit goin’?” she asked.

Wisty let out a loud groan of frustration. “I’ve been getting my ass kicked!! SO! I’ve come to the conclusion that I will absolutely die if I go fight anything,” she grumbled as she dangled from Pinprick’s hand. He snickered in response.

“Hey, don’t feel too bad, this is only a baseline! Imagine how good you’ll be after me ‘n Nate ‘n Dex have taught ya!” Bianca said.

“Hopefully it’ll be a less shameful display than this,” Wisty replied as Pinprick idly swung her from side to side like a pendulum. “I kinda thought I was gonna learn how to fight. I know I shouldn’t be complainin’, it’s very nice of you two to take time out of your day to help me, but is this the best way to go about it when I haven’t ever fought before?”

“Here at BC, we believe in learning on the job!” Bianca replied, licking remnants of ketchup off her fingers. “We are not gonna let you go out there until you feel confident enough you can hold your own, so don’t worry.”

Pinprick gently set Wisty on the ground. “Ready whenever you are, love,” he grinned widely.

“I yield.” Wisty’s legs were far past beginning to wobble. Now she could hardly keep herself upright. Pinprick was not only stupidly fast, but stupidly powerful. He absorbed all of her attacks like they were nothing and dished out brutal counters one after the other. Wisty had been reduced to blocking and dodging, Pinprick never letting up for even a moment. She didn’t even have enough time to grab an ink canister. At least she could safely say she was better at avoiding attacks now. Her lungs burned with heavy breaths and her arms ached from swinging her pen around. Goddamn inertia.

Pinprick raised his hands again in preparation, grinning still. “We’re only getting started, love!”

“C-Could we take a break or something? I’m frickin’ exhausted and haven’t landed a solid hit on you once!”

“Of course we can stop! After you get the bracelet on. That was the agreement sweetheart, don’t back out on me now.”

“Ugh c’moooon. You have no mercyyyyy.” Wisty forced herself to stand up straight.

“What’s happening?”

Bianca turned and gave a nod of greeting to Dex, who had strolled up to the scene and was now watching with interest.

“The newbie is getting broken in,” she said, cringing as Pinprick sent Wisty flying again. “I think she’s doing...okay…”

Dex smirked. “Sure doesn’t look like it, hehe.”

“Hey, go easy on her dude, she just started today! I’ve been watching the whole time, I can tell you she’s gotten a lot better already. Aw geez,” Bianca winced as Pinprick threw a punch that caught Wisty on her right cheek, resulting in her swearing loudly.

“Remember your safe word!” Dex shouted to her.

“My WHAT? PINPRICK YOU CHEATER, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THAT!!”

The ghoul only cackled in response. “You never asked about it, cupcake!”

“OF COURSE I DIDN’T, I’M NEW HERE! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME!” Wisty screeched.

As Pinprick rushed her again, she didn’t wait. This time she lurched to meet him, slamming the butt of her pen into the ground and using it to jump up to his height, landing an impressive high-kick on his chin that actually got a grunt of pain out of him.

“Close!!” Dex shouted. “Keep trying--oof, that looked like it hurt.”

Pinprick had slugged Wisty full force in the torso, her pen caught in between his fist and her stomach. It seemed to absorb much of the impact, but it wasn’t enough to keep the girl from slamming into the ground hard and skidding several yards away where she collided with some boxes. Dust flew everywhere.

“I’ll go get the nurse bed ready,” Bianca sighed, turning to head back to Black Cauldron. “Hey Dex, if it looks like Pin is getting a bit too into it, make sure he doesn’t punch Wisty into nonexistence. He’ll feel horrible if he accidentally hurts her really bad.”

Was Pinprick just that strong? Or did she just suck that bad? Wisty coughed on the clouds of dust filling the air and tasted the sharp tang of iron in her mouth. She spat onto the concrete, a gob of red. She could feel more on her tongue and dripping from her mouth. Her pen hadn’t broken, (thank you Harvey), but having it rammed into her gut fucking huuuuuuuuuuuuurt. What if she couldn’t get the bracelet on? What if she never got better at this? Her vision swam and she felt ink dripping from her face again.

Wisty grit her teeth and bit back a snarl. No. This was her first day. She’d get better, she’d get way better. And she was going to get that fucking bracelet on! She could do this!

“So...hff...that’s how it’s gonna be, huh…? Fine. Fine. You want me to play rough, I’ll do that.”

She reached behind herself to her ink cartridges. One, two, perfect.

“Yo Pinprick! Did you kill ‘em, man?!” Dex called to his comrade.

“Ahoho, I certainly hope not, we were having so much fun!”

Before he could say anything more, though, a thin jet of orange ink fired from the dust cloud. The instant it made contact with the ground, a huge explosion blossomed outward.

“HOLY MOLY!!!” Dex hollered as Pinprick skidded backwards, blinking in surprise.

“Oho, it seems the newbie has a few tricks up her sleeve! Good, good!” he laughed.

The dust was settling, and now he could see Wisty standing with her shoulders hunched and her face twisted with a determined scowl. Black liquid was oozing from both her eyes, making her look quite frightening. A canister full of green liquid was clutched in her hand, Dex and Pinprick watched as she tipped it back and took a swig of the ink inside before wiping her mouth on the back of her hand and grabbing another canister. This one she shoved into her pen.

But she didn’t make a move yet, panting.

“Oh come now love, you can’t be that tired already! You’re leaving yourself...wide! Open!” Pinprick sprinted forward and thrust his left arm out. Wisty swiftly jumped to the side, his right, and he attempted to grab her again, this time with his right hand. She ducked again, resulting in both Pinprick's hands smashing into the wall, sending pieces of brick flying.

Wisty took aim with her pen, and fired. Black ink streamed from the tip and coated Pinprick’s hands. His first instinct was to tug--

And they didn’t budge. The ink was like tar.

“What in the--” White ink spattered the wall and a blinding light filled his vision. He grunted and squeezed his eyes shut against the stinging illumination. When it faded, he swiveled his head round looking for Wisty-

And caught her out of the corner of his eye sprinting towards him. With a mighty heave, he wretched his right arm free of the ink to deal another devastating blow-

In the blink of an eye, Wisty had taken a mighty leap, vaulting herself upwards using Pinprick’s shoulders. As she shot up into the air, twisting, she aimed the nib of her pen downwards into his face.

“Boom.”

Orange ink streamed. Pinprick was caught in a huge explosion. Dex shielded his face as the heat wave slammed into him.

“Jeezus God, what the hell did Harvey put in those inks??” he muttered to himself.

As the smoke cleared, he could see Pinprick, still standing, his hands free from the black ink, but looking significantly more banged up.

“Yeowzers,” Dex trotted up next to the ghoul to get a closer look at the damage. “That was pretty awesome. Might cause some property damage, though.”

“But really, when don’t we cause just a little property damage?” Pinprick pointed out, dusting himself off.

“Wait...where’d Wisty go?”

“Hmm...did she get blown away from the explosion…?” Pinprick mused. “She was right--”

A stream of bright yellow ink hit his back, and his entire frame spasmed as electricity coursed through him. His body was knocked to the ground as Wisty dropped down from above onto him. Dex barely managed to jump out of the way with a squawk.

“You--little--” Pinprick hissed through gritted teeth, but the girl had a firm grip as she snapped the bracelet around his neck, fighting against her shaking arms as the shocks spread up them.

“Friggin...got it...Geezus…” she huffed.

She slid off Pinprick as he straightened himself up, wincing, yet looking very pleased.

“Well well well, color me surprised, cupcake! What a way to show off what some of those colors can do.”

“Hehe,” Wisty grinned sheepishly, her legs quaking. She tried to take a step forward, but stumbled, opting to lean on her pen for support.

“Tell me, what was that green ink for?”

“Healing. It -huff hff- can heal wounds if applied topically like a- hff- salve. Or you can drink it to- help with something internal.” Her smile looked a little pained. “I guess I’ll be using it a lot, eh?”

Pinprick suddenly looked rather worried, his smile dropping and his brow creasing. “Oh no...I must’ve hit you a little too hard, huh? I’m sorry about that, sometimes I can forget my own strength.”

“D-Don’t apologize! It was really hard, sure, but it was necessary right? You said it yourself, ghouls are scary strong! So if I was able to take you down, then I should be okay with practice! Plus, y’know,” she scratched the back of her head. “I did kinda electrocute you. And make you explode. Twice.”

Pinprick had to nod in agreement with that, his grin returning. “You were quite clever to coax me into getting my hands stuck to the wall. And that light! I couldn’t see a thing.”

“I know I got here like halfway through, but you were pretty impressive out there, rookie,” Dex piped up. “Pretty fast, too. And usin’ your opponent’s size and physical features to your advantage with those twisty moves? You might give even witches a run for their money with smarts like that. But for now, howsabout we call it a day? You look like you’re gonna collapse. Your cheek ain’t lookin so good either.”

Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, throbbing aches began to make themselves known all over Wisty’s body. Her right cheek really, really hurt, and she gingerly pressed her fingers against it, wincing as the swollen flesh protested.

“You two got pretty banged up. How about we head back to BC to getcha patched up?” Dex jerked his thumb back to his bike, which was parked nearby.

“Do forgive me for goin’ so hard on you cupcake. Needed to make sure you were prepared; out there, it could be even more dangerous.” Pinprick reached out and ruffled Wisty’s hair, wiggling her whole head back and forth.

“Oh c’mon Pin, I’m a hugger! Gimme one!”

Pinprick chuckled and picked the girl up with one arm, giving her a squeeze.

“You did very well today! See ya back at BC, cupcake. And you too, Dex,” Pinprick wiggled his fingers in farewell.

“Awwwww C’mon Pin, aren’t I a cupcake too?” Dex asked, his puppy-dog voice belied by the shit-eating grin on his face.

“Absolutely not! Go on now, I’ll see you two back there!” With a mighty leap, Pinprick was off, hopping from roof to roof with ease. Within no time at all he was out of sight. Wisty slumped.

“Urgh, I barely hurt him at all. Look at him doin’ parkour shit while I can barely stand--” Right on cue, her legs buckled. She was saved by Dex, who swooped down and grabbed her under the arms.

“Tracy will get you all fixed in no time. Pinprick only went so hard on you because he felt you had potential you were holding back. His method of bringing it out is to hit as hard as he can, hehe. You seem promising, rookie. I’ll have to be extra careful when we fight.”

“You use GUNS.”

“In the field! Sparring I use blanks. And my lithe body.”

Wisty burst out laughing as Dex helped her to the bike. “You guys are merciless! I don’t wanna do anything until I’m not hurting everywhere.”

“Nothin’ a lil magic n’ a hot bath can’t fix. Aight, get on the back,” Dex said, turning the key in the ignition. “DeeDee likes to go fast, so you might wanna hold on.”

“Okay...uh where…” Wisty hesitantly gripped Dex’s shoulders.

“Here we go!” The bike flared to life and Dex squeezed the handle.

The inertia as they took off was unexpected and Wisty had to momentarily throw her arms around Dex’s middle to keep from tumbling off the back. But soon enough her hands were back to his shoulders as they drove along, buildings and power lines passing by in a blur.

It was exhilarating.

“Not too fast for ya, newbie?”

“It’s awesome! I love going fast!”

“Heh, hang on then!”

Wisty closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, lost in the feeling of the wind as they drove along. This was giving her an idea for…

She opened her eyes.

Ah. Right.

What she would’ve given to see what this all looked like in color. The blurred buildings. The bright moon. Dex’s scarf as it fluttered and danced behind them. He had told her it was red, but what shade of red? What shade were her inks? What if she forgot the colors she knew? Her mouth twisted as tears again stung her eyes. Not that any would fall, the wind was drying them up.

“Hey just so ya know, you might wanna actually hang on to my middle or else you’ll fall off!” Dex called over his shoulder.

“What?” Wisty shouted back right before they went over a bump. She yelped and clung to Dex again. He snorted.

“Soooooo, have you thought about partnering up with anyone?” he asked her.

“Uh...no, not really.”

“Would you like to? Newbies usually tend to, though I don’t think Alphus ever did, heh.”

“I dunno. I mean, I...” The truth was, she’d love to partner up with someone. Like Bianca and Pinprick. They’d been the ones to save her, and she’d gotten pretty attached to them both. After she’d been cursed, it felt like everyone she once had in her life had left. Her friends abandoned her, people she’d known for years. Even now, it was a stubborn ache in her chest that wasn’t going away yet. And BC...the Cadets had taken her in immediately, even when she wasn’t yet sure if she wanted to join. They accepted her, curse, quirks, all of it. They’d given her friendship and comfort.

She wanted to partner up with someone. She’d known these people for such a short time, and each of them had undoubtedly gone through their own horrible shit. Some of them more so than others. Ghouls weren’t seen as people. People without souls were surely damaged and sad to others. People whose eyes reflected no light and oozed black ink were creepy.

Her grip tightened. If Dex noticed, he didn’t say anything as he rounded a corner hard, tires screeching.

“Y’know, you should really wear a helmet, especially driving like this!”

“Naaahhhh, I’m too cool for one!”

“No one is too cool for head safety, my dude.”

“This hair is!”

He weaved easily in and through the crowd. Wisty could see people staring as they flew by. What a strange pair they must look, a boy with glowing white eyes and a girl with black voids for hers. If they could even see them. A couple of freaks, huh?

Couple of freaks.

Those weirdos at Black Cauldron...you’ve been hanging out with them? They’re all freaks!

A smile suddenly found itself creeping across Wisty’s lips.

All freaks? Huh? Well if we can accept each other regardless, then I'll be a freak too.

“...Hehehe.”

Wisty stood up suddenly, her arms spread wide.

“Whooooooo!!!”

“Wisty SIT DOWN! You’re gonna fall off!”

“My balance is really good!”

Luckily for her, and Dex’s blood pressure, a street lined by trees with low-hanging branches forced her to remain seated for the rest of the ride. Her little burst of excitement had sapped the last of her energy, and Wisty rested her cheek against Dex’s back. She felt really tired. Happy. Veeeeeery sore. She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the city as they whizzed past.

Tired...

“Alright, we’re here. Hopefully Bianca has that nurse bed ready.” Dex came to a smooth stop in front of the staircase leading up to Black Cauldron. “Let’s get you to Tracy. ... ...Hello? Kiddo?”

He now became aware of Wisty’s weight slumped against his back. He twisted his head round to look back at her. She was fast asleep.

Dex sighed and chuckled to himself. “Damn, you’re really gonna make me carry you up all those stairs? Guess this is what I get for teasing you about the safe word. Hyup-”

With no small amount of effort, Dex hoisted the sleeping teen onto his back and began the trek up the stairs. Wisty let out a soft snore.

---

Unexpectedly, it's a kind of future like that.

#and then Wisty slept for 44 years #my writing #fic #story #stories #skz #skullkidz #out in the field #wisteria #wisty #dex put a helmet on

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skeletonsloverockcandy · 4 years

Text

When will my Reflection show who I am in Sides

Summary: Thomas gets home late after a day of recording videos with his friends. While walking up the stairs to his bedroom, he sees something strange in the hall mirror. Was that? No it couldn't be, he must be imagining things. He goes to bed only to find himself looking back in the mirror, only it isn't the Him he's supposed to see. Because Thomas isn't wearing glasses. Or an AU where the Sides only appear as Thomas's reflection, at what seems to be the most inconvenient times ever.

Warnings: Thomas fears he’s losing his sanity and Virgil causes him to be anxious but I think that’s it, Oh wait no, there’s some arguing too, but it’s pretty mild, also Remus and Janus are in this but I don’t know if they count as warnings or not.

Fandom: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders

Characters: Thomas Sanders/Character!Thomas, Logan/Logic Sanders, Patton/Morality Sanders, Roman “Princey”/Creativity Sanders, Janus/Deceit Sanders, Virgil/Anxiety Sanders, Remus “the Duke”/Dark Creativity Sanders

Word Count: 6,540

Author’s Note: I don’t generally do one shots, but this is getting me back in my writing groove, so I guess there’s a first time for everything. Also I don’t have a general writing taglist yet, so I’m just going to tag the people who are on my Hitchhiker taglist if that’s okay.

Ao3 Link

***

Thomas closed the door to his apartment, sighing as he set his keys down on the counter in the kitchen. He’d just had a long day of making videos with his friends. Gosh he loved his friends, he thought as he reminisced on the videos they were making today, remakes of old vines. It filled him with a sense of fondness and nostalgia that his little ragtag group of pals was willing to entertain his silly ideas even way back in the vine age.

He sighed again, good times.

He rubbed his eyes as he let out a yawn, it was well after dark by now and he was looking forward to going to sleep…which is what he’s going to tell himself as he gets in bed, opens up his laptop and plays video games until 2 AM. But, well, he’s working on it.

He slips off his jacket while dragging his feet towards the stairs, trying to kick off his shoes at the same time.

Now no longer encumbered by his laced nemeses, Thomas can feel confident that he’ll tooooootally put his pajamas on before just flopping into bed. Totally. Yep. Definitely won’t sleep in his clothes.

Not a chance, is what he tells himself as he climbs his way up the staircase towards his room.

He passes the mirror in his hallway between his bathroom and his bedroom, mid yawn when he sees it, just for a moment.

Thomas does a double take, looking back in the mirror, and…yep, it’s just him.

He could’ve sworn for a moment there he saw scales, and a caplet. But no, it’s just him, Steven Universe shirt in all its glory, and not a hat to be found.

He got quite a jump there, wow his heart was beating fast, was he breathing heavy? It was just because he’s tired...he didn’t actually see...did he? No, no, that wasn’t possible. He just needed to make his way to bed, actually go to sleep on time for once, maybe not play video games until 2 AM. Yeah, that sounded good, he’d do that.

He opened the door to his room, very pointedly not looking at the hall mirror again, and set to go to sleep. Feeling that as long as he was actually going to sleep, he might as well put on some pajamas.

He slipped on a sleep shirt and some pajama pants stretching his arms out a little before climbing under the covers.

He checked his alarm clock, 10:02 PM. Wow, he never usually goes to bed that early. It’d be fine though, he could actually be a functioning human being for once.

As he went to turn off his lamp, he caught sight of the full-length mirror on his now-closed door. And he saw him standing there, another him, one wearing a tie and glasses and looking approvingly back at Thomas instead of the Thomas in pajamas and about to turn out the light that was supposed to be there.

“Ah! What the heck!” Thomas shouted, completely calmly and reasonably, he told himself.

He, however, would not deny that he completely uncalmly and unreasonably fell off the bed and took all the blankets with him, as he now lay in a sprawl on the floor.

Consequences of getting spooked while half leaning out of his bed, he supposed.

He carefully peaked up over the edge of his bed and thankfully only saw a normal looking, if rattled him staring back at himself like he was supposed to.

Thomas gulped and took a deep breath to settle his nerves. He was either seeing things, or he was being haunted, and he wasn’t sure either of those two options made him feel any better. Well, at least if it was the first option, it might be remedied by getting some rest. Surely, if he was seeing delusions of different Hims in the mirror, it was a sign of sleep deprivation? Yeah, yeah, that sounded right. But just in case…

Thomas grabbed the thin sheet that went under the heavy blankets and draped it over the bedroom mirror, feeling himself relax a bit.

Now maybe he could finally get to sleep…

***

It had been a little over a week since Thomas’s little doppelgänger encounter of the third kind happened, and he had not had an incident since going to sleep that night. He kept the sheet on his bedroom mirror up for a couple of nights after, but eventually reasoned with himself that whatever had happened that made him hallucinate, or whatever that was, was clearly a fluke of his exhausted mind since it hadn’t happened again, so keeping the sheet up was unreasonable. He had woken up early the day after and had been now coping with a weirdly adjusted sleep schedule. It felt odd waking up early, but whatever he had done to trick his body into going to sleep early that one night had clearly had lasting impacts, because he had woken up early and gone to bed on time every day this week. Well, hard to complain that he was finally getting his body’s act together, and it was a good thing too. He had an audition coming up soon that he was really excited about, and though he knew it was cliché, and like, rookie theater kid mistake 101, he was looking forward to singing a Disney song.

He knew he could audition for pretty much any part, but Thomas had really debated on whether he wanted to audition for the hero or the villain, as that would determine which song he picked and the range of emotion he showed, though in the end it wouldn’t really matter because the director got final say in casting.

He had decided he would audition for the part of the love-struck hero, and was quietly singing the lyrics to “Won’t say I’m in love” as he grabbed a towel to dry off after taking a shower. He pulled back the shower curtain, toweling off his hair with a series of “No chance, no way”’s, before wrapping the towel around his waist and grabbing his hairbrush. He hummed while he fixed his still-wet hair with one hand and went to wipe the fog off the mirror with the other.

Then it happened again.

He had cleared off a big slice of fog from the mirror and went to run his brush through his hair more carefully, when Thomas realized he wasn’t looking at himself in the mirror.

They certainly looked like him, but he wasn’t wearing a prince outfit, nor was he jamming out and singing at full volume to “Won’t say I’m in love” because he had been humming. Humming.

But now he could hear his own voice with full bravado singing the lyrics back at him, head thrown back, eyes closed, and dramatically leaning on the wall opposite the mirror.

Thomas was also leaning against that wall, but more out of shock and fear than anything else.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. This wasn’t real. He was dreaming. Dreaming. This was just because he was spooked about what happened the other day, he was not seeing himself perform Disney songs in full prince regalia in the mirror because he wasn’t in prince regalia, and he is not singing at the top of his lungs in the mirror, so he couldn’t be seeing his reflection do that, because he wasn’t doing that.

He peaked open one of his squished shut eyelids, to confirm that he was definitely not seeing those things, only to discover prince him, definitely still doing those things and singing in place of where Thomas’s reflection should be.

The Other Thomas was mid-note, when he too opened his eyes, caught sight of Thomas and abruptly cut himself off with a small “eep”.

He looked awkward for a second before looking at Thomas and speaking, “Too much?”

Thomas stared back at the other Him who had just spoken to him. He felt lightheaded. His voice felt weak, but he managed to squeak out a small “...yeah, a bit”.

“Oh, well, I know you need to put a lot of passion into your performance in a few days, best to practice on the regular! Thanks for auditioning for the hero by the way, I don’t think Remus would have ever shut up about it if you had chosen to go for the villain, but brothers will be like that, am I right?”

Thomas was so very confused at the information being thrown at him right now, but, due to circumstances, he found himself feeling kind of out of it at that exact moment. So instead he just thought of his own brother and said “...yeah, brothers are like that.”

“Oh don’t I know it, he has no idea how hard it is being the hot, popular one, and all he talks about is gore and garbage and other gross stuff. You should’ve seen the time he filled our room with feral cats, I had to take care of them for weeks, and he knows we have a cat allergy, but he said the excess of snot and puffiness ‘added to our complexion’, said I could use a bit of mucus to ‘put us on an even playing field since he was the better looking one after all’, can you believe him! The indignity of it all! If he ever does that again I’ll...uh, Thomas, doing alright there, superstar?”

Thomas, who had been slowly sliding down the wall and clutching his head, was now sitting on the floor and very much not doing alright. “...yeah, great, never better, fantastic. Just…dandy. I just...need a moment.”

“Oh certainly, then by all means-” the reflection spoke before Thomas blinked and he was staring back at regular old him again. Thomas exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. His head was pounding with his heartbeat in his ears. His brain began trying to process the things he just saw and the words he just heard. Because he had heard words. His reflection had spoken to him. He must have finally cracked. There went his sanity, whoosh, out the metaphorical window. This just...this just didn’t make any sense.

What was the other him even talking about? None of what he said had made any sense. How could his reflection have a brother? Who was Remus? Scratch that, more importantly, how was his reflection talking to him?!

Thomas thought in that moment how he very much needed to lie down, and just as he was thinking that, he blinked and his reflection changed again to that of him in a prince costume, now very close to the glass and looking down at him on the floor.

“So like, how long is a moment for you because that felt pretty long to me, aaaaand you’re still on the floor. You sure you’re doing okay Tommy-Salami?”

Thomas jolted back again and banged his head on the back wall.

“Gah! Quit doing that! Also...ow.” He said as he rubbed the back of his head.

“You good amigo? That looked like that caused a bump large enough to knock out the dragon witch.”

“The what? Nevermind, just, how are you doing that?”

His reflection looked around, looked behind himself, even patted himself down before turning to Thomas with a puzzled look.

“Uhh...doing what?”

“That! All of that! You’re my reflection, how are you...not reflecting me? I’m not wearing a prince outfit, I didn’t say what you just said, and I’m not doing what you’re doing, so how are you?”

His reflection laughed, laughed, at that. Even shook his head a bit as if this was trivial and there was some big misunderstanding. As if it were funny.

“Oh Thomas, I’m sorry, I believe there may have been a bit of a misread of the situation. Of what’s going on here. See, one as beautiful and talented as myself can not be limited to a mere reflection, be contained in something so simple as a mirror. No, there are too many adoring fans, too many stages to perform on, too many lovers to woo and hearts to break,” he paused for a dramatic faux sob, “No, what would I be if I were a mere reflection. A mere copy, nay! A clone. Why, I would not be nearly as complete, not nearly as rich and interesting a person! No Thomas, I am not a reflection of you, I am you. A part of you anyway, and I embody your passion and creativity. It is I, Prince Roman, at your service!” He finished with a dramatic pose.

There was silence for a bit after that, where Thomas just stared at him blankly.

Roman dropped his pose somewhat and cleared his throat, “Eh hem. Thoughts?”

“So you’re...my creativity?”

“Part of it, yes.”

“How does that even work? And that still doesn’t explain why my creativity, I guess, can physically manifest in my mirror, as me in a prince costume. And don’t even get me started on the why part of that question!”

“Woah woah woah woah, what made you think I was physically manifesting, I can’t physically impact the world at all, aside from my dashing good looks that is.”

“So what? This is all just in my head? None of what’s happening right now is real? I’ve finally cracked?!” Thomas said standing up and clutching his towel for dear life.

Roman went still for a second, getting a serious look on his face before responding, “Of course this is all in your head, but why on earth would that mean this isn’t real?” before cracking into a wide giddy grin, “I have always wanted to say that! But seriously yeah, this is in your head, but you’re not going crazy, I’m just as real as you or any of the others.”

“The others?”

“Oh yeah, you didn’t think I was the only one, did you? I’m part of your creativity, but you’ve got other sides to your personality: your morality, your logic, the...other ones, etc etc. I’m hardly the whole packaged deal. Though I totally could be if we were measuring in terms of charm. I mean, I am almost quite literally Prince Charming.”

“Right...sorry this is just, a lot to process. I’m still not sure I’m not going crazy, and...if we’re going to continue this conversation (which I seem to be having with the mental projection of a voice inside my head, wow), I would like to put some clothes on, please.”

“Oh shoot, right sorry, forgot about the whole ‘shower’ thing, go get dressed and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

Thomas gave him a strange look and blinked, expecting him to disappear like the last time that he ‘gave him a moment’. He didn’t.

“Uh...okaaaaay? I’ll just...go do that then.” Thomas said as he opened the bathroom door, checking behind him every couple of seconds to see if Roman was still there (he was) and sped into his bedroom, closing the door and throwing on a T-shirt and shorts as quickly as he could. Then he sat on his bed and waited. His full length mirror still had his normal reflection in it. Could Roman see him through it? Or was he still waiting at the other mirror? Was the fact that he could see himself in the mirror a sign that Roman had disappeared from the other mirror? Did...did he have to call out to him? Let him know he was dressed? It was worth a try.

“Um, is anyone there? Roman? One of the...others he mentioned? I’m-” well he wasn’t ready, but, “I’m dressed, if you still want to talk, and you know, explain to me what the heck is going on. I’m here.”

He expected it this time when he blinked and his reflection changed, but he didn’t expect someone that wasn’t Roman to show up.

“You! The guy in the tie! Teacher dude!”

“Yes, hello to you too Thomas. I overheard Roman giving you the ‘lowdown’, I believe is the correct terminology, and thought I should give my assistance in the explanation since this matter requires objective facts and knowledge, and I do encompass your logic.”

“Woah, slowdown, you’re my logical side? What were you doing last week with the whole ‘peering at me before I try to go to sleep’ gambit? And (I can’t believe I’m saying this because he’s probably just a figment of my imagination) where is Roman?”

The him with a tie and glasses, who Thomas was beginning to think of as the ‘Teacher Him’ in his head, sighed and adjusted his glasses.

“I...apologize for startling you last week, Thomas. I was just checking in because you finally, finally, had been planning on correcting your sleep schedule. Which is something that has been quite a lofty goal of mine for quite some time. I was proud to see you finally start to follow through, especially after a...discussion I had had with Janus regarding the situation. So I ‘slipped up’, if you will, and may have been an iota too excited to see you succeed, which, unfortunately resulted in your mental distress, but did conclude with the desired results. Though I apologize again Thomas. I did not intend to frighten you, that is not my primary function.”

“So...What is your ‘primary function’ then?”

“As I stated previously, I am your logical side. I am your common sense as well as everything you’ve ever learned. My main goal is for you to become a more functional, healthy, and productive human being. I have had...mixed success trying to complete these goals.”

Thomas let out a bitter laugh.

“You don’t say? ‘Healthy’ and ‘functional’ while I am seeing personified portions of my personality whenever I look in a mirror?! What part of any of this seems normal? Or okay!? Or remotely like sane human behavior?” He finished with a half shout, growing increasingly more distressed. The teacher him let out a slightly exasperated sigh before softening.

“Thomas, you need to breathe. You are going to be okay. I know it may not seem it right now, but you are perfectly sane. If a bit...eccentric at times. But I can tell you are-” he pulled out some notecards from his back pocket, “‘going through it’ right now, but I promise things will be-” he shuffled through the cards again, “‘5 by 5’ in the future.”

Thomas looked at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Do...do you have flashcards that have slang words on them?”

“Yes, I find it best to be informed on all modern advancements in the English language, and having a list of all new vocabulary helps me keep track of such advancements.”

Thomas blew a slow breath, “Wow, this is uh, this is a lot. That is ah, certainly something I didn’t know about myself. (Glad to know I’m a huge nerd in every iteration of me). But wait, can um...can, uh, other people...see you? In the mirror I mean. Or does this just look like I’m talking to myself?”

“As far as I am aware, I do not think other people can see us. I don’t know that for sure though, because you don’t know that for sure, and I’m your knowledge, Thomas. I only know what you know.”

“Right, great, so there’s no way to confirm I’m not crazy, great. Look, sorry, I keep calling you ‘Teacher Dude’ in my head, but like, the other guy had a name. Roman? He said he was in charge of my creativity. Do you also have a name? Just...What do I call you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry Thomas, it completely slipped my mind. Yes, I have a name. You may call me Logan.”

“Logan...right. Thanks, I guess.”

“It’s no problem Thomas I simply-”

“Ah- Tah- Logan! I was going to explain things to Thomas!” Roman could be heard exclaiming before stepping into view behind Logan in the mirror. Logan let out a long, exasperated sigh before stepping back so there was room to view both of them within the frame of the mirror.

“If he wanted to hear from the Microsoft Nerd he would have asked for you.”

“I find that unlikely since until very recently he didn’t know our names or of our existence. Besides, Thomas only asked if anyone was there, including, and I quote, ‘One of the others mentioned’, and since I am in that category, as someone who is not you, I had full reason and responsibility to show up and explain things to Thomas. And! He clearly needed my assistance, because someone wasn’t doing a good job of explaining things.

“You. The someone is you.” Logan finished.

Roman gave an offended scoff, “Well I-! If anyone would be bad at explaining this to Thomas, it would be the person who scared him so bad in the first place! Guh huh yeah! Don’t think the rest of us have forgotten that little stunt you pulled the other day.” Roman said with a sneer.

“First of all, I already apologized for that, and Thomas understands now, don’t you Thomas?”

“I uh-”

“Great, see? And second of all, you’re one to talk, seeing as you just scared him in the shower just now. Or could your sonorous serenade of Disney lyrics not wait, hm?”

“Guys-”

“Oh I’m sorry, are my rehearsals not important to you? You know Thomas has a big audition coming up. His vocal cords need to be practiced and ready for when he’s on stage! Or did you forget to mark it down in your little calendar?”

“Uh guys-”

“Of course I didn’t forget to write it down in my calendar. I’m insulted you would even suggest such a thing. I just don’t know why we have to waste so much time preparing to prance around and play make believe on a stage when, historically, Thomas has done well on average for other auditions, but that is still no guarantee on whether or not we get the part. That is not up to us, it’s up to the director.”

“Guys!”

“Tch- guh- Prance around? No guarantee? Excuse you but Thomas has done well on those past auditions because he practiced! And while the final say may be in the hands of the director, that say is influenced by how well we perform! We cannot simply settle for letting ourselves be second best, Nay! We must strive to go beyond what we have before and reach new heights!’

“Well you’re just-”

“GUYS!”

“What?!” They both shouted back in unison.

“I get that you two are having what I’m sure is really important and serious discussion, but to me it just sounds like you’re arguing over something kinda dumb. And also I have, like, no idea what’s going here, so if you guys could stop for a moment that would be great, because along with everything that’s been going on, you two fighting is just making me more anxious.”

Roman looked up in alarm at that. “Wait, anxious? Then that means-”

“Sup guys.”

“Gah! Virgil! You’re here! Heeeeeeey...”

As soon as Thomas had blinked while Roman had been talking, another him, (apparently named Virgil) who was brooding, wearing dark eyeshadow, and donning a patched purple and black hoodie, had shown up. Thomas would be fooling himself if he thought he still had dignity left after falling off the bed for the second time, but at least he had only knocked loose a few pillows and didn’t bring the whole blanket with him this time. Logan was more composed, only flinching a small bit when the new mirror man appeared.

“Ah, hello Virgil. What brings you here?”

“Seriously? All this unease and unrest, you couldn’t not expect me to show up.”

“Wellllll, I think you’ve made your point, Thomas is more than spooked about the situation, Sweeny Toddler, so I think you can be going now.” Roman interjected. Virgil gave him an unamused eyebrow raise before turning to address Thomas.

“Are you sure you’re not going crazy Thomas? I mean Prince Stink Face and Teach here have already made it pretty clear this is all going on inside your head. How do you know this isn’t you just talking to yourself in the mirror right now, confirming your worst fears?” he said with a slight drawl of the lips.

“Okay, Virgil, that’s enough, he already has enough anxiety as it is.” Logan cut him off before he could go further, “You know as well as any of us that Thomas is not going crazy.”

“Do I know that Logan?” Virgil said in a low voice, still looking at Thomas, a slight smirk on his lips, “all I know is that we seem to be figments of some guy’s imagination, and those figments seem to be really stressing him out,” he said, finally breaking eye contact with Thomas (who had been backed up against his bed on the floor in fear) to look at the other two.

“So I think I, as well as Thomas, would appreciate it if you two would cut it the heck out.”

“Ugh, fiiiiiiiine. Sorry Thomas, and I guess sorry Logan. I got a little toooo...passionate? Back there, and I uh, didn’t mean to upset you Thomas, really.” Roman said while tugging on his sleeve. Virgil then turned to look at Logan, clearing his throat slightly and giving him a pointed look.

“I...suppose I should apologize as well,” Logan said with some disdain in his voice, “Thomas. Roman. I am sorry.”

“Anything else you wanna say Teach?” Virgil said under his breath.

“No, I believe that covers it.”

“Well, I tried, sorry Princey. Okay, well, I think my job here is done. Maybe next time don’t argue like babies and I won’t have to work so hard next time, okay? I’m gonna head out so one of you can explain to Thomas what’s going on, because honestly, being the productive one around here sounds exhausting. Oh and Thomas?” Virgil said, making eye contact with him again.

Thomas looked up and gulped, he didn’t know what to think anymore, “Uh- Uh huh?”

“See you in your nightmares.” and with a final wink, he was gone.

“Ugh he’s so dramatic.” Roman declared with an eyeroll.

“You’re one to talk, but yes, that last bit was rather unnecessary. I don’t think you have anything to worry about Thomas. Virgil is just like that sometimes.” Logan said with an adjustment of his glasses.

“If by ‘like that’ you mean ‘completely terrifying’ then yeah, I can see that.” Thomas said with a shudder.

“Well that does make sense seeing as he embodies your anxiety.” Logan supplied.

“Oh,” Thomas said in a weak voice, “good. Nice to know I’m such a rich and complicated individual that even my anxiety becomes personified. That’s just...peachy.”

“I’m not sure how the flavor of peaches has anything to do with-”

“It’s an expression, Professor Literal,” Roman said exasperatedly.

“Ah, I see.”

Thomas took a moment to run a hand down his face and compose himself, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“So let’s review so I can get this straight,” Roman snorted at that but Thomas pressed on anyway, “You all embody facets of my personality? And for some reason that means looking like a bunch of different Me’s in costumes, and only appearing in my mirrors when I least expect it.”

Logan cut in here, “Hmm, well yes and no. We do embody different sides of your personality, yes, but we hardly appear when least expected. Mirrors have somewhat intrinsic qualities to them that make it easier for us to appear in them, but whether that is due to unprecedented scientific phenomenon or simply to a mind’s long winded metaphor for ‘self reflection’ I can’t say. But I can say as to why we show up when we do.”

“Okay then, why’s that?”

“We are tied to certain parts of your personality, are we not? And what is a personality but a collection of feelings, thought processes, motivations, etc. So what happens when you feel particularly strongly about something or when your mind leads down a particular train of thought is that those things are linked to each of us. What I’m saying is, your mental state influences how we show up sometimes, and when we appear to you. Sort of like how you did with Virgil a minute ago. You were feeling very anxious, so then the embodiment of anxiety shows up. As straightforward as 1+1=2.” Logan finished.

“So...when I am in a certain mentality I, what, summon one of you?”

“Not quite. We are facets of your personality Thomas, we are always with you, so we cannot truly be summoned. However, when you enter these specific mental states, it makes it...I would say, ‘easier’ to show ourselves in a more visual manner. Sometimes even...unintentionally,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “but that’s neither here nor there.”

Roman coughed a little in what sounded like “nerd” but Logan simply rolled his eyes. Thomas continued to ask questions about the other Sides to himself in the mirror (they had apparently taken to calling themselves that) while Logan and Roman tried their best to explain things.

He still wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t lost his mind, but the more they talked and he was around them, the less freaked out he was by their presence there in the first place. He learned the names of the other Sides he had yet to properly meet as well as their functions. He learned that he had a Side named Patton who apparently encompassed his Morality and his Heart, so to speak, though Logan seemed to have some trepidation about him and Thomas meeting because of what Roman referred to as a ‘long suffering battle against an assault of Dad Jokes and puns’. He learned who Remus was, apparently being somewhat symbolically Roman’s ‘brother’, as he encompassed what Logan called the ‘dark side of his creativity’, and Thomas’s intrusive thoughts, (which he was not thrilled about) but Logan insisted it would be fine as there were easy ways to deal with him should he become a problem in the future. There was also Janus, which Thomas remembered having an encounter with before after Logan explained what he looked like, what with the snake aesthetic and all. He supposedly embodied Thomas’s self-preservation, deceitfulness, and denial, which...made sense given he had shown up before when Thomas had been lying to himself about when he was going to go to bed. Thomas still wasn’t sure if he could make heads or tails of what was happening to him, but he felt he now had a better understanding about what he was seeing, even if he still couldn’t grasp the why.

***

It was a few days after his audition and Thomas thought he had done well. He saw Roman on the lobby mirror give him a thumbs up and mouthing the words ‘Let’s do this!’ before he went on stage, which weirdly enough helped in its own way, and now he felt pretty good about his performance. To make things better, he had gotten a call earlier today that confirmed he would be in the play, so he was just waiting to see if he got the roll he auditioned for. Feeling pretty happy and confident, Thomas decided to make himself some celebratory pancakes for dinner with lots of chocolate chips and a mountain of syrup.

He was mixing the batter and looking at the recipe on his phone when the screen faded and turned to black before he could tap it to wake it up. He sighed as he sat down the bowl to pick up his phone and pull up the recipe again, when he saw his reflection wearing glasses.

“Oh, uh, hi, Logan. What’re you doing here?”

“Oh sorry Kiddo, not Logan! Though I get the mix up with the glasses,” he chucked, “I’m your happy pappy Pop, Patton! And yes, the title is...Patton Pending,” he said with a wink.

“Oh right! You’re Patton, my morality right? I was warned about your dad jokes,” Thomas said with a laugh.

“Yeeeah, Roman told me you all did introductions a while ago, but I was just checking in on my favorite Kiddo to see what you were cooking up! I’m so proud you’re learning how to cook Thomas, you batter believe it,” Patton said, grinning from ear to ear.

Thomas snorted through his nose and shook his head at that.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Patton. But speaking of batter, I really should get back to these pancakes.”

“Of course Kiddo! I’ll be right here if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” he said with a smile.

“Uh, sure. But uh, if you don’t mind me asking, how um, how could you help? You’re in my phone right now.”

“Oh um,” Patton looked puzzled for a second, “I guess if you need help with the instructions or if you just need a friend to talk to, I’ll be right there to help with that,” he said, picking back up that same enthusiasm.

“Okay Patton, thank you,” Thomas smiled in return, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

***

Over the next several months Thomas continued to see the Sides of himself occasionally, usually in mirrors or other reflective surfaces. At first he was freaked out and would get a little jump every time he saw one, but eventually he grew used to them just popping in whenever he was doing or thinking about something that ‘summoned’ them, even though Logan didn’t like him referring to it as that. Thomas got used to seeing them while brushing his teeth, or making breakfast, or in his dressing room before going out on stage, and he wasn’t bothered by it anymore, not as much at least.

He would pass idle conversation with them on occasion, sometimes arguing with Logan about his health habits, brainstorming ideas with Roman, having a small debate with Patton in his computer screen about what was the best ‘nice dialogue’ option in a video game.

Virgil would show up pretty regularly when Thomas was feeling anxious, and it was kind of a mixed bag on how he would react to Thomas when he showed up. Sometimes he showed up and just made Thomas more anxious, but on a couple of times when Thomas had it really bad, Virgil actually helped him calm down a bit with a breathing technique Thomas remembered Talyn teaching him once. So he actually wasn’t so bad, though it was a bit annoying when he was trying to sleep and he would look in his bedroom mirror to see either Virgil or Remus.

The first time Remus showed up in person was not pleasant and Thomas had had some pretty vivid nightmares after, but thankfully the next morning, Logan had helped diffuse the situation and put Thomas more at ease.

Janus liked to show up in the reflection of his phone screen whenever his friends texted him wanting him to do something for them when he already had a prior commitment, or if he was particularly stressed out about a dilemma. He would tell Thomas that he would be busy that day, to which Thomas would often reply something along the lines of ‘busy with what? I’m not doing anything that day,’ to which Janus would say something sarcastic but which always led back to the central theme of self-care. Thomas was pretty wary to listen to Janus at first, given Logan had said that he encompassed Thomas’s deceitfulness, but after Janus had gotten him out of a couple of jams that had almost led to near mental health crises, he had given him a shot and started to listen to his advice on occasion. Not too much, because who knew where that would lead, but sometimes, on instances when Janus’s warnings and advice were too pertinent to ignore.

All in all, Thomas began to like his Sides, not minding talking to them and spending time with them. They helped him out in a lot of areas of his life, and hindered him in some others, but that only seemed to happen when he was either ignoring one of them or listening to another too much. Patton had started referring to all of them as a family, emphasis on the ILY, and it was he who suggested Thomas take a family portrait in front of the hall mirror with all his Sides. Thomas wasn’t sure how much that would work, given it would probably just look like a selfie in front of his mirror, but seeing how excited Patton was, he decided to humor him.

Patton had called everyone to meet in the hall mirror while Thomas sat up the tripod for the camera. He ended up standing in the middle while his Sides stood to the left and the right of him. Roman was posing dramatically with a dashing smile while Logan muttered about how unnecessary it was, what with the logistics of showing up on camera. Virgil pulled his hood up and got teased by Remus for being ‘camera shy’. Janus wore a mischievous smirk and was flourishing a cane he had gotten from somewhere, rivaling Roman in who could be the most dramatic. Remus was somehow hanging from the top of the mirror frame upside down and was making a crude gesture with his hands while sticking out his tongue, and Patton was nearest Thomas, debating whether to make a heart with his hands or give Thomas bunny ears, and ended up going with the heart after Logan had made an unintentional pun about it. Finally Thomas finished setting up the camera while all his Sides got ready behind him, and he set the timer. He moved to take his place in the middle and told everyone to say ‘Cheese’.

“Romano-” “Cheddar!” “Nooo-” “Fermented milk solids-” “Rat Bait!” “The worst salad topping, I’m sure-”

And with a Click and a bit of laughter from Thomas at everyone’s replacement for ‘Cheese’, it was done.

Thomas was checking on the film to make sure everything had worked okay, and Logan was already preemptively warning him that it was likely Thomas had done nothing more than take a nice photo of himself in front of the mirror without the others being visible. Thomas turned and nodded at Logan saying he knew and he wouldn’t be too disappointed since that was what he thought was most likely.

Thomas continued to check the camera while the others chatted in the background. Then he scrolled through the photos to look at the most recent one taken. He reeled back in shock before breaking into the widest grin.

“Guys, I have the best news.”

“Ooo what is it Thomas?” Patton asked.

Thomas tried to bite back his excitement and his Sides turned to look at him with various levels of anticipation and curiosity.

“You all can show up on camera.”

***

Author’s Note: I'm not going to continue this, but after that ending imagine Thomas sets up a bunch of glass panes in his Livingroom with a great idea about what his new YouTube series will be. I guess could also be considered a "the sides are real but also actors for the Sander Sides series" AU if you want. Tag me if you write anything with this idea in the future because I'm interested in reading it.

Taglist: (sorry it’s the same one for A Hitchhiker’s Guide For Androids)

@enby-phoenix

@farflypants

@callboxkat

@skruffy901

@lefaystrent

@ianasha

@delimeful

@scared-ghosthunter

@equations-of-logan

@hiddendreamer67

@alexa-is-fangirl-trash

@momolinia

@thecipherfox

@sweet-razz-tea

@noah-shite

@mothdaemon

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themangoyogurt · 4 years

Text

Misguided Youth: The Air Clears

Chapter Five

“Ow! Let go!” You shouted as Kylo continued to drag you down a hallway. So focused on the fact that you were being manhandled by the brooding man, you were completely unaware of how many twists and turns he had pulled you through. How big was this fucking Willy Wonka factory of a home anyways?

“I said, let go you fucking psycho!” You cried as you shook your arm out of his grip. Somehow he had corralled you into a study, and despite your agitation and confusion, you couldn’t help the first response to spill out of your mouth.

“You actually read?”

Kylo spun around and slammed the door shut. Still facing away from you, he had one hand flat against the door, while the other laid balled up at his hip. You could tell that his chest was heaving up and down, and instinctively stepped away until the back of your thighs hit a sturdy oak desk. Looking around in silence, you took notice of the floor to ceiling bookcases filled to the brim with books and journals.

Judging by the worn through covers, it became clear that this was a functional office and you were immediately hit with a pang of guilt. Sure, Kylo might be a rockstar who ran around chasing tail while destroying public property, but that shouldn’t imply that he was stupid. There was more depth to the mysterious man, and you reluctantly admitted that you might have judged him too quickly.

But then he had to go and open his mouth and make you hate him all over again.

“Yes, of course I fucking read. I’m glad to see that Brooklyn’s finest waitress has deduction skills.”

“Excuse me? You know what, fuck you. Fuck you and your judgmental pompous attitude. Where’s my friend. I’m leaving right now.”

Kylo turned around, but stubbornly refused to meet your icy stare. Your eyes slowly narrowed into slits as you took in his expression. Was that...guilt? Stepping forward, you cautiously ventured, “Kylo. Where’s my friend?”

He ran a large palm through his locks and replied, “There wasn’t exactly a friend looking for you...per se...”

“Then why did you drag me away from Poe?”

Kylo finally met your glare with one of his own. “I was doing you a favor, you know. Poe would never actually be interested in someone like you. He’s a total player who...”

Your jaw dropped in incredulous anger. “What? You have no right to dictate who I can or cannot talk to! Who the hell do you think you are? Besides, who said that I was interested in him?”

“Fine! Go back to Poe or your friend Jim then. See if I care who you waste your time with. I hope you and Jim had fun fucking around in my house drinking up my booze.”

Without missing a beat, you threw both arms out in exasperation as you shrieked, “WHO THE FUCK IS JIM?”

Kylo’s brow furrowed as he took in your genuinely confused expression. Stepping back a little, he stuttered, “I thought...I thought you were here with a guy named Jim. Phasma...”

Throwing a palm up to your face, you tightly pinched the bridge of your nose as you hissed, “Oh my God, you are such an idiot. My friend’s name is Jyn. Ji-nuh. And I can assure you that while we have indeed been drinking up your expensive booze, I’m not dating her.”

A realization suddenly dawned on you as a coy smile slid across your features. Slowly, you began to advance towards the man - all fear and concern lost. Now standing close enough to touch, you tilted you head upwards and teasingly asked, “Why would it matter to you who I date? So what if I liked Poe? Or if I had a boyfriend name Jim? Or even if I was together with Jyn?”

Kylo turned his head to avoid your shit eating grin and muttered, “I don’t care. Get over yourself.”

“Sure, sure. Because it’s totally normally to go dragging people away from potential love interests, right?”

Shuffling forward so the tips of your toes were gently nudging his feet, you carefully swept his bangs out of his face. Moving your hand downwards, you barely grazed his cheek as your fingers rested against his chin. From this distance, you could feel his breath stutter while your nimble fingers danced down the column of his neck to rest at his sternum.

“Are you jealous, Kylo?”

Kylo reached up to grip your wrist in his palm as he pushed your hand away from his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He still couldn’t look you in the eye though, and that only made you smirk.

Tugging your wrist out of his grip, you moved to brush past the man as you sauntered towards the door. Pausing just before exiting you turned to murmur, “You’re right. I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I don’t think you do either.”

With one last gaze, you stepped out into the hallway and the door loudly shut behind you. Kylo remained rooted on the spot as he stared into the space you once occupied.

The rest of the party went by in relative ease. You caught back up with Jyn, and immediately gave her an earful about ditching you. Afterwards, you found your way to Phasma’s side, and the blonde drummer insisted on clearing the air. She had only meant innocent fun when keeping you in the dark about who she was, and hadn’t meant to offend you. There was nothing to apologize for though, and you admitted to being too quick to anger. The two of you enjoyed a shot of liquor together - promising to continue exploring your budding friendship.

By the time you ran into Kylo again, you were well and truly wasted. Stumbling out onto this balcony, you tilted your chin up to take lungfuls of the crisp autumn air. The moonlight gently cascaded against your features, creating a halo behind your profile as you closed your eyes to bask in the peace. The sound of shuffling caught your attention, and you opened your eyes just in time to catch Kylo attempting to slink back into his home undetected.

“Is the big bad rockstar suddenly shy? No mean retorts left?”

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face you. “Mean?”

Crossing your arms in anger you seethed, “Yeah. You’re a bully.” Kylo gave a dry laugh and crossed the balcony to stand next to you. “What, are we in middle school? I have no interest in ‘bullying’ a waitress. I’m a fucking millionaire with shit to do.”

Turning to jab a finger into his chest, you spat, “See! There you go again. Do you even know that I’m in grad school? All you’ve done since we met is talk down to me, when you don’t even know the basics of who I am. You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through.”

Too drunk to care about how you looked, your jaw quivered as you continued, “Do you think I like waitressing? Do you think I enjoy wearing a fucking costume at work literally doing a song and dance just so I can get shitty tips from haughty hipsters like yourself? Some of us don’t have a support network, and I’m doing everything I can just to stay afloat in this city without losing my goddamn mind. So I’m sorry if I’ve been too busy juggling a budding career as a 50’s impersonator along with an impossible workload to not have known who the fuck you were when we first met.”

Turning on your heel with a huff, you were stopped when Kylo reached out to grab your hand. Slowly tugging you back towards him, he quietly whispered, “It’s...it’s not like that. I don’t look down on you, and I don’t care that you’re a waitress. I’m a shitty person, okay? I don’t make friends easily, and every fucking time you open you snarky mouth I’m put off my game. Everyone acts like I’m a character in a movie, and you’re the first person to treat me like I’m a real person. I guess I wasn’t ready for that.”

He let go of your hand to turn so he could lean against the balcony. Carefully stepping up to his side, you mimicked Kylo’s posture by resting your arms against the cool metal bar as well. Soft wind swept through the air, picking up strands of your hair to dance against his arm. Playfully nudging his shoulder, you asked, “So...should we start over and try and be friends then?”

Kylo laughed and turned to meet your eyes. For the first time that night, your gazes were amiable. Nodding, he gently replied, “Yeah. Friends.”

You leaned a head against his shoulder and murmured, “But I can’t promise that I’ll stop the teasing. You make it way too easy for me.” He let out an honest chuckle as he returned to staring out into the night sky.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren #misguided youth #modern au

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luminescentauthor · 4 years

Text

Sora/Tobi Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons

THEY’RE HEEEEEERREEEE! Maybe Tobi will finally leave me alone now and stop taking up my whole brain.

Please read this post or this won’t make sense, it’s HCs about their third year. There’s also a part two that you don’t need to read, since everything you need is in part one. (U can if u want to tho.)

(If you don’t want to, basically all you need to know is: Nao, Sora, Tobi, and Mokichi are on first-name basis since the end of second year; Sora and Tobi have had a running prank war since the end of their first year and everyone on the team hates them because of it; Sora is captain, Mokichi is vice. Oh also Tobi’s aunt is awesome and she stormed into his parents’ house in Hiroshima to yell at them for being terrible parents. Tobi didn’t find out for the longest time.)

This is some 10-ass pages so headcanons below the cut!

This. Is. So much more chaotic than my Sora/Nao HCs. Prepare for disaster gays, very tired and very exasperated queer parent friend Momoharu, very very tired Mokichi, "usually a functional bi but the second you involve emotions he becomes a grade-a disaster bisexual" Tobi, Sora struggling to deal with "OH shit I'm gay," and "bows to absolutely no one and done with everyone and everything 24/7" Nanao Nao. This version of Nao is so much more of a tired badass than Sora/Nao's Nao, who stays more true to her canon self.

It's also twice as long. Yeet.

Tobi and Sora have had growing feelings since their first year and Mokichi and Nao are fucking suffering with these stupid gays.

They were friends at first, and it really was just pure platonic feelings. It started to turn into something more a little after the first Taiei game, but Sora is shy and a certified disaster and Tobi is way too emotionally constipated for either of them to do anything about it.

Tobi I love you but you're a fucking mess.

Tobi actually got kicked out by his "father" in large part for being bisexual, and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with growing feelings for tiny cute short teammate, nope nope no thank you-

But basically, Tobi has known he's bi for a while now, and while he's having some acceptance problems, he's not having the "OH GOD I'M GAY" panic

Sora has not known, and he's having a panic in the background because "I'm attracted to guys?!"

Sora starts realizing what's going on some time in second year, and Momoharu takes one look at the panicking Sora and goes "aight the fuck happened to you?"

You will have to pry their friendship from my cold dead hands and I'm not sorry. I love Momoharu and Sora's dynamic.

Sora eventually confesses to Momoharu (after a lot of prodding) that he thinks he's turning gay, and Momoharu immediately starts laughing. Sora, hurt and feeling very stupid, goes to run, but Momoharu tugs him back down to sit and tells him, "Jesus, Sora, you don't turn gay. You either identify as gay or you don't. Sorry for scaring you, the concept of turning gay is just... oddly funny. Don't worry about it dude, I'm pansexual."

"...Pansexual?" Sora asks nervously.

"Yup, I'm attracted to all people regardless of gender. Men, women, people who don't fit either -- I don't much care. Gender doesn't really factor into whether or not I'm attracted to people."

"You can be attracted to multiple genders?" Sora asks, eyes wide.

Oh boy, Momoharu thinks. Poor kid. "Yeah, folks who are attracted to just men and women are called bisexual. Homosexual is the official word for those who are only attracted to their own gender, but gay or lesbian is usually used. Heterosexual is for those only attracted to the opposite gender. Of course, the lines aren't as clear set as those labels suggest they are. Sexuality is fucky, dude. Don't worry about not having it figured out. I only decided on a label a few months back, myself. Some people just choose not to label it at all."

That makes Sora feel better, and he takes to talking to Momoharu about it quite a bit.

At one point, Sora brings up how the team would react, especially since they share a locker room. Momoharu just gives him a deadpan look and then says in the flattest voice ever, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." That gets a laugh out of Sora and makes him feel a lot better.

As it turns out, this was word for word Chiaki's reaction to Momoharu being nervous about coming out to the team back in their first year.

It is also, word for word, Chiaki's response to Sora coming out to him going "I'm sorry I hope this doesn't make things awkward-"

Momoharu laughs hysterically when Chiaki pulls the exact same face he did and says in the exact same deadpan tone, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." Sora also stares at Chiaki for about ten seconds in silence, then doubles over laughing. Chiaki is so confused until Momoharu explains.

However, this does mean that Momoharu has to deal with the brunt of Sora's "TOBI DID A THING HOLY SHIT" rants for the rest of the year, even though he denies that Tobi is the one he was attracted to if ever asked.

Momoharu, rubbing his forehead: Chiaki the baby gays are being stupid what do I do

Chiaki: I'm a straight so unfortunately I don't think I can help here?

Momoharu: Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tobi is freaking out in the background because "oh no gay feelins oh no soft feelins fuck what do I do????"

His aunt: Kid, please calm down, you'll be fine.

Tobi, putting a groove in the floor with his pacing: NO I WON'T WHA' IF 'E FINDS OUT WHAT IF THIS RUINS THA TEAM DYNAMIC WHAT IF 'E 'ATES ME-

Accent go yeet when upset!

She holds him while he panics and lets him curl into her, and then makes his favorite foods and puts on a movie and cuddles with him, and once he's asleep, she calls her brother-in-law with every intent of murder because how dare you make this child feel so unloved?

Anyway, Tobi eventually comes to accept himself and his sexuality in full thanks to her, the team, and Juri. It's primarily just a thing of time and needing to have more conversations where he's open about it and accepted by people he cares about.

Poor Sora still isn't totally comfortable with being gay? And a month or so into his third year, he comes out to Nao and later Mokichi. They make him feel much better, but the final piece is actually Tobi himself. Tobi finds Sora having a breakdown in the locker rooms and holds him to help him calm down and pushes him to talk about it, and Sora finally tells Tobi he's queer.

And Tobi, having been through this struggle before, just kind of pulls him into a hug and says, "Well, tha' makes two o' us" and Sora goes "wHAT" and Tobi tells him he's bisexual. Tobi does not pry about who made Sora realize he's queer, because it's personal and touchy, and he respects that.

That does, however, extend the mutual bullshit period.

But also:

Sora: oH MY GOD HE'S GAY HE'S GAY HE'S GAY I'M-

Tobi: 'E's. 'E's Bi. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths just don' panic and ask 'im out that's a bad plan-

Tobi that's actually how you deal with romantic feelings like a functional human being but sure, go off.

Tobi comes out to Nao and Mokichi with Sora's support shortly after that, and their reactions are, respectively: "NICE!" "Cool." and then Nao tackles Tobi in a hug that is the start of a big grouphug.

There's lots of hugging and crying (the latter is Nao and Sora and a little bit of Mokichi), and Tobi will vehemently deny that he cried at all, but a few tears got out.

(Lbr Tobi's gay pining for Sora was Not Subtle, so they already knew, but they don't tell him that for a while. When they do tell him, he's gotten to the point where he just stares at them blankly for a moment and then groans rather than flipping out. Mokichi chuckles quietly and Nao just outright laughs at him.)

But anyway, both of these Absolute Idiots are still crushing on each other, and everyone is suffering.

Actually, scratch "crushing,” it's moved into full-blown pining now.

Sora eventually also accepts that, alright, he has a big crush on Tobi. Tobi, their ace. Tobi, one of his best friends. Tobi, one of the best wings in all of Japan. Tobi, who is ridiculously attractive. Tobi, who looks like an actual bush when he doesn't tie his hair back somehow, because his hair is insanely (and adorably) frizzy and voluminous. Tobi, who will whoop at the top of his lungs and grin like a maniac because he just pulled off a fantastic drive and double-clutch, even though he's exhausted and soaked in sweat and they're four minutes into overtime. Tobi, who makes the cutest face with the sweetest smile Sora has ever seen when he talks to his sister. (Tobi, who is a boy, and Sora has stopped caring.)

Sora even stops denying that he likes Tobi after a little bit, and Momoharu is just in the background going, "good job, it only took you two entire years to figure that out."

Sora: LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Momoharu: Okay but have you considered: No. Absolutely not.

Anyway Tobi mostly complains/gay rants to Nao and sometimes Mokichi, and at this point, even Juri is slightly sick of her brother talking about "our amazin' point guard." Yer not subtle, Anchan????

Except it eventually moves from "wow he's amazin' but NO I do not 'ave a crush on 'im" to "oh my God I am SO gay," and then later it moves to a more resigned gay panic. ("Nnnnnnghhhhh I nearly fuckin' kissed 'im after practice today what do I do-")

Nao is trying to bully both of them into confessing, but neither will take the first step, not because of pride, but because they're scared. (Nao is. So. Done. Even if she sympathizes, it has been two years of this bullcrap please-)

Tobi, especially, is afraid of losing everything again after his nasty stepdad booted him out.

Sora is like "that is one of my closest friends, and given this team's stability record I am Not Poking That Mess With A Long Stick."

Momoharu, who is the one he says this to, is just kinda like, "Yeah I can't really argue with that, as much I want you to confess."

Nao, later, having been subjected to a similar rant, after he said "closest friend" instead of "a dude": HE'S GROWING UP KANAME-KUN I'M TEARING UP-

Mokichi is far too tired of everything to interfere, which is fair.

Juri badgers Tobi for a solid four weeks before he admits what's really going on, and then it kind of all comes spilling out, and she encourages him to confess to Sora, but he's still reluctant.

Nao also bluntly says, "Kenji-kun's family abandoned him, Sora-kun, and it may be because he's the words ‘problem child' given physical form, but it may be because he's queer. If you want to work this out, I think you'll need to take the first step."

(Tobi told the team about his past late first year/early second year. Crying happened and everyone basically group-tackle-hugged Tobi, and he finally got the hugs he very much needed and definitely deserved.)

And Sora angsts over that for a while until Chiaki very simply says, "Do you want things between the two of you to change?" And Sora realizes that yes, he does, he doesn't want things to stay the same, he wants to hold Tobi's hand and go on dates and call each other at weird hours for the sake of it and hold each other until they fall asleep and kiss him and -- well, you get the idea.

So he works up the courage, and it's one night some months before the national tournament when Sora asks Tobi to stay behind with him for extra practice. Sora is really nervous, and Tobi is like "??? Sure? Are ya okay?"

Sora, voice cracking: yEaH I'M FINE

Anyway, Sora misses like a solid sixty percent of his shots that practice and Tobi is. So confused.

Tobi to Mokichi: Did. Did somethin' happen.

Mokichi just shrugs, which does not make Tobi feel better.

So Tobi stays behind all the others to talk with Sora, and they're both really nervous. Obviously, Sora is about to confess, and Tobi is just so confused, and also some small part of him is going, "oh God did he figure out I like 'im????"

Nao and Mokichi kicked all the first and second years out after just an hour of individual practice, and Sora is grateful but also, "guys please don't make me confront my problems."

Nao: "Sora-kun if we waited for you to deal with this we'd be here 'till sunrise."

Mokichi, tiredly: "No, we'd be here until we turned old and gray."

Sora asks Tobi to sit with him while blushing, and Tobi complies, still very puzzled.

They make small talk for a minute, and then Sora abruptly says, "Kenji-kun... I... I think I have a crush on you".

Tobi gapes at him like a fish, opening and closing his mouth for a solid minute, and eventually, Sora.exe unfreezes and goes, "Sorry, I-" and Tobi just goes, "Fer real? Ya aren't prankin' me again?" in a surprisingly quiet voice.

And Sora is mildly offended but knows that's a fair assumption given their track record of prank wars, and he also almost wants to use the excuse Tobi has handily provided, but he just stands and goes "I'm sorry, I should leave-"

And Tobi leaps to his feet, grabs his hand, and says flat out, "Sora, I've 'ad a crush on ya since first year."

And Sora just kinda… short circuits. "Wait, really?"

Tobi just kinda rubs the back of his neck (shyly? Tobi gets shy?) and goes, "Yeah, I... I kinda only admitted it in tha middle a' second year, though."

And Sora says slowly, "You... you like me. You like me!" He laughs, relieved. "Holy shit, I was so scared you were going to reject me and it was going to ruin everything--"

And Tobi is just going oh my God, he's adorable, I can't deal with him, and takes Sora's chin in one hand and asks quietly, "Sora, can I kiss ya?" Sora's eyes, predictably, go wide, and he nods. (And please take a moment to recall and appreciate the fact that Tobi is canonically an entire foot taller than Sora. Sora is 149 cm (4'10.7) and Tobi is 178 (5'10.1). This is fantastic because I will bet actual money that this height difference has not shrunk; if anything, it has grown.)

They kiss just as the entire team bursts into the gym. Turns out, they were watching the whole thing, and honestly, none of them look that ashamed; they put up with the pair's bullshit for this long, they're invested now, and they deserved to know what happened.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REVENGE FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF USELESS GAY PINING," Nao yells. "KANAME-KUN, EVERYONE -- GRAB THEM!"

And the team lifts the yelling and protesting couple above their heads as Sora loudly objects and Tobi swears at them. The first years learn some creative new insults. The second and third years, on the other hand, are very accustomed to Tobi by this point, and aren't remotely surprised, but -- oh, haven't heard that one before, actually, says a second year. The others mutter assent.

We have, Mokichi grouches. We third years have heard them all.

Sora is small and easily hauled around, and Tobi is also pretty helpless when being held up above the heads of Mokichi and their first-year center. So they can’t really like... do anything about being dragged around.

Nao leads the team forward like an army, and they march to the pool to drop the two of them in, and when they resurface, fully clothed and soaked to the bone, Sora is laughing hysterically. (Assume Sora learned to swim at some point.)

Tobi is groaning, but he's grinning, and he swims over to the side of the pool -- and grabs Nao and Mokichi's ankles and drags them in, both of them yelling.

And Sora thinks, with Nao yelling in irritation but a sparkle in her eyes and a grin she's failing to fight off, with Mokichi laughing quietly as he flings his wet bangs out of his eyes, with Tobi laughing hysterically, his hair slicked back by water, with the four of them wearing all of their clothes and soaked to the bone, their entire team yanking off their shirts to jump into the pool with them and the moon and stars shining overhead, that he's never been happier.

And Tobi turns to him and grins, and Sora can't keep himself from jumping at Tobi -- who catches him, startled -- and kissing him again.

And, like, hey, Tobi isn't about to complain.

They take about two months to settle into things, and then it's just like... I'm sorry, who thought letting Kurumatani "Embodiment of Chaos" and Natsume "Biggest Problem Child Ever" Kenji date was a good idea?????

It's a bit awkward for a while because they're still feeling things out and figuring out what they're both comfortable with, but then they finally click, and it's... pure fucking chaos.

Sora will not stop stealing Tobi's clothes and Tobi is not happy about it, mostly because -- Sora, if ya keep stealin' my clothes while I am in the changin' room, then I do not 'ave clothes to wear ya stupid chibi--

Tobi has stormed into the gym shirtless at least twice yelling, "SORA! GIVE BACK MY FUCKIN' SHIRT!"

Listen. Listen we have a total of three scenes of Tobi being shirtless, and two of them were in front of plenty of people. Tobi is many things, but body shy is not one of them. He wouldn't care.

(Post-Kitasumi loss, post-Shinjo loss, and that one scene of him dribbling in a park or something at night with an audience. The night before they played Taiei.)

Tobi: Are ya ever jus' tryin' to figure out where all yer clothes have gotten ta and then ya turn ‘round and see 'em all on yer dumbass tiny boyfriend?

Sora, clearly utterly unapologetic, wearing Tobi's sweatshirt: Oops.

Chiaki, probably: SOME OF US ARE SINGLE STOP RUBBING IT IN.

As mentioned before, Sora is canonically 149 cm (~4'10.7), and Tobi is 178 cm (~5'10.1). There's a 29-centimeter difference, almost an entire foot, and frankly, that difference has grown a few centimeters, and you bet Tobi is going to abuse the shit out of this.

He literally holds things Sora wants over Sora's head all the time and Sora hates it. Like yes, Tobi did this before they dated too, but now Tobi is doing it more just to be annoying. It's also the only way Tobi can keep his clothes out of Sora's hands whenever they aren't on Tobi's person. (It's kind of hard to steal a shirt when someone is wearing it.)

"THIS IS ABUSE!"

"Me holdin' m' own jacket above m' head so that ya can't steal it from me isn't abuse, it’s self-preservation! It’s like -20 degrees out there, Sora, use yer own jacket!"

I personally headcanon Tobi shooting up like a weed, but whether he did or not, he's probably between 180 and 190 now (5'11 and 6'3). Meanwhile, Sora is like maybe 155-60. It is possible that Sora also shoots up, but I feel like he would hit 165 at most. That would have him growing 16 cm, which is 8 inches, so. That's a lot of inches to grow in two and a half years.

The things Tobi holds above his head are mostly his own clothes and also food items, plus the occasional basketball.

He also sometimes will nab Sora's clothes and hold them up in the air just to get back at him. Sora will be leaping up in the air, trying to reach his clothes, while Tobi stands there with a shit-eating grin holding Sora's shirt over his head. It looks so stupid. Nao and Mokichi both have multiple videos of it. (Nao has like five.) (What? She suffered, alright? Let her have this blackmail, at least.)

Sora: :( My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Momoharu: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Nao: Tackle him.

Chiaki: Dump him.

Mokichi: Kick him in the shin.

Tobi: NO TO ALL A' THOSE, JUST ASK ME TA LEAN DOWN!

Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and literally all of their friends are still giving them a hard time for being useless gays and taking two and half years to deal with their feelings even five years later. They're never going to live it down.

As adults, juggling careers and their growing relationship is hard.

They both go to universities in Tokyo, thankfully, and don't have to do long distance, and get an apartment together in their third year.

Tobi probably joins the B.League, and maybe Sora does too. (I dunno, I'm not committing to anything with career HCs.)

If they do, they have to keep their relationship secret; it would be a huge deal to be gay athletes in Japan (or... anywhere.) Most of their teammates know, though. Like... Sora regularly shows up to practice in Tobi's sweatshirts.

The sexual tension whenever they play each other is intense, though.

(My pet headcanon for Tobi is actually him going to university in America and joining the NBA. While I want to do that with Sora too, the mangaka apparently turned down two anime deals because they ended with Sora in the NBA. I haven't fact-checked that, though.)

They're around 25 when the world as a whole finds out. It either comes out because one of them is like, "hey babe do ya wanna just come out? We have enough money to retire if this goes south," "Oh sure," or because they mess up so drastically that people figure it out. After all, it would take a lot to break past the "they're such good friends!" mentality of sports reporters. Like seriously. These two are not subtle. They can let heteronormativity do most of the work for them, in all honesty.

Anyway, it comes out, and the media goes into an uproar, and they retreat to visit Sora's dad in Nagano without telling anyone except their coaches and closest friends where they've holed up and just let the world burn while they enjoy tea and the view of the mountains and avoid social media like the plague.

Assuming it was planned:

Tobi, the day before coming out, on his official twitter: I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my partner for two weeks, so I won't be on social media. Enjoy your week!

Or possibly the way he came out, besides their official announcement on Sora's account, was just "I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my boyfriend, @KurumataniOfficial, for the next two weeks. Bye y'all, have a good two weeks! :)" because that has Tobi's chaotic energy.

Edit: Actually? I take that back. SORA would do that. That has SORA'S chaotic energy.

When people get homophobic, all of their friends -- high school, college, adult life -- are immediately down to throw hands.

The Japanese highschool circle of people who went professional is small and pretty close-knit, and the NBA and B.League sides are quite close to each other as well. Shiraishi and Fuwa, who are both in the NBA, both riot when people attack their old acquaintances from high school. I personally headcanon Fuwa as a raging chaotic bi, because -- hair. Yozan, for that matter, is also pretty pissed off.

Fuwa probably gets on twitter and goes, "What's this bullshit about them being gay???? Of course they're gay. Have you ever seen them interact for more than two seconds??? Are you blind??? Wait, nope. Sorry. Don't want to insult blind people. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT DUMB????"

Momoharu tweets," 'Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man' --My twin Chiaki, and Sora and Tobi's HS teammate, upon them coming out in HS" and first Sora's teammates start retweeting it and then Tobi's and then every single one of both their teams’ members retweets it. It's fantastic.

Then Shiraishi (who, again, is in the NBA) retweets it, and it goes completely viral. Chiaki is so happy but also really pissed that it's Momoharu's account.

Momoharu ribs him about it for a solid three weeks just to be obnoxious.

There's actually no one on either of their teams that didn't already know about the relationship. Again, they're not subtle together. If there was any drama, it was presumably resolved by getting rid of the homophobe.

Anyway, so while shit hits the fan, Sora and Tobi just shelter in place and their friends all react by going to war, which both of them are a bit taken aback by, but like, they aren't complaining about it. They're both touched actually.

For marriage, honestly, neither one of them proposes in any fancy manner; they probably decided to get married because the topic comes up due to taxes. Sora goes, "Hey, do you think we should get married? The taxes would be cheaper," without really thinking about it, and Tobi goes, "Honestly, if it means everyone will stop badgerin' us about 'tyin' the knot' or whatever, I vote we elope," and that's that. Some two hours later while making dinner, Sora goes, "HOLY SHIT WAIT ARE WE ENGAGED?" and Tobi, who was reading, stares at him for three seconds, processes that, and slowly goes, "...I guess? Yeah, I guess we are. Wow. We did that."

Sora slams his head on the table and Tobi just very tiredly says, "babe, no, ya need those brain cells."

Assume gay marriage is by this point legal and accepted.

When asked how they got engaged, everyone is just like, "THAT'S SO ANTICLIMACTIC?????" This is also the media's reaction.

Interviewer: Why did you and Natsume-san decide to get married?

Sora, shrugging: Taxes are easier with your partner when you're married.

But they went to get rings together on their tenth anniversary shortly after deciding to get married, and if that isn't sappy as hell, I don't know what is.

They probably don't wait long for the wedding and don't bother making it a huge thing; they invite all their friends, hire some folks to keep the media out no matter what, and hire a few people to film it and figure they can share that footage later. ("I am not havin' the media at my weddin' that is a private event for friends and family -" "Love, I am not arguing with you, I don't want them there either???")

Nao will be best woman for one of them at the wedding, and you bet she will give them so much shit for being disasters back in high school in her speech.

Juri, who by that point is like 20 something, because the disaster gays don't get married till they're at least 28 to 30, is either Tobi's best woman or playing some significant role in the wedding. She also roasts her brother and brother-in-law.

Tobi and Juri are definitely half-siblings, just in terms of time. He looked five or six when his biodad died, and she seems about the same age, meaning there's a ten-year gap.

Also, it's implied in the manga, so.

The newly-weds are just sitting there groaning as their friends/family members roast them, but they're both grinning.

The vows are probably really, really sappy, and Tobi can claim it's Sora's fault as much as he wants, but he's honestly also kind of a sap too and all his friends know it.

Tobi's stepdad is not invited. In fact, Tobi goes out of his way to send an edited version of the invitation to him that basically says, "Wedding! You're not invited!" while Sora and Juri die of laughter in the background. His mother does come, though -- she eventually moved out following the "her younger sister stormed in boiling with righteous fury on behalf of her son" incident. While the couple never got a divorce, they haven't spoken in years.

The invitees are actually mostly friends, not family. While Sora's dad, grandma, and extended family come, Tobi's only present family are his sister, his aunt, his mother, and his biodad's brother (and the brother's wife and kids.) But they have hundreds of friends there; Nao, Mokichi, Momoharu, Chiaki, Madoka, Yasu, Chukie, Nabe, their kouhai from their second and third years, Satsuki with his wife and two kids, Shiraishi, Fuwa, Yozan, Mineta, Yakku, Nino, Tarou, both of their professional teams and all the team staff, the national team that they played with, Sakamaki, Yuka and Tomohisa’s friends, Madoka's older sister, their college teammates and classmates -- the list literally just doesn't stop. For like. Days. That guest list was the hardest part of the wedding, actually.

The symbol they use on the invitations is a dragon. Momoharu and Nao both cry when they see the nod to the Kuzuryu team. (Chiaki does not cry, he claims. Momoharu calls bullshit, and Momoharu is, for once, completely right.)

The cake has wing patterns curving up the sides; one kite wing with a healed injury, and a duck wing in front of the silhouette of an eagle wing. ("I'm sappy, Ken, sue me." "Actually, I think that's adorable, so go ahead.")

The healed injury was Tobi's idea, though. Sora was confused, but Tobi explained that Sora and Kuzuryu brought him back to basketball as a team sport, and healed him from the pain of being pushed away from his family. Sora cries.

The shadow of the eagle wing was also Tobi's idea. He says "I agree that yer a duck because I love ya to pieces but yer still short as shit-" "Oi." "-but I also think ya learned how to fly in yer own right. Swimmin' and duckin' be damned. Ya fly on the court, Sora."

Sora does not cry again. He does not. ("Sure ya didn't." "SHUT UP KEN-") (He definitely teared up a little, because Tobi is looking at him with a soft smile and the most affectionate look in his eyes, and holy shit, I love him, and I'm going to marry him????

They go to Nagano and Hiroshima to visit their parents' graves after the wedding. Both of them are sappy about it. "I wish you could have met him" speeches, basically, while the other stands out of earshot.

They then proceed to screw off to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks, since it's the offseason.

Either they combine their names, or Tobi takes Sora's last name.

I feel like Tobi would, just to spite his stepdad. I'm pretty sure Natsume is his stepdad's last name, since Tobi is seen wearing a helmet that is probably his dad's in a flashback, and it has a different name on it. Might've been a company name, though. Idk.

Sora is maybe crying when they change the nameplate on their Tokyo apartment to read "Kurumatani-Natsume Sora and Kurumatani-Natsume Kenji" because "holy shit that's my fucking husband!!!!!"

And Tobi just laughs and wraps his arms around him and drags him down onto the couch to hold him, and Sora thinks that life is good. Very good.

And if Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and Juri and crew all crash their place five seconds later, well, Sora thinks, that just makes it better.

wow! if you made it through this entire thing i am grateful to you for reading! and lowkey impressed because this is almost 5000 words. see my Ahiru No Sora Headcanons tag for more! there is also a Sora/Nao relationship headcanons post.

#ahiru no sora #ahiru no sora headcanons #headcanons #kurumatani sora #natsume kenji #kurumatani sora x natsume kenji #tobisora #maybe these two nerds will finally LET ME REST IN P E A C E #go AWAY tobi jesus

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oops-prow-did-it-again · 4 years

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Pokémon Retold: Ultra Sun - Chapter 13 (Alone Together)

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Heeey look I'm alive, though I'm gonna go dark for those 2 weeks after tomorrow, I'm sorryy

In other news, if you read my Black and Black 2 stories, you'll maybe remember that there was a dude named Taven in them. As I mentioned before, Taven is actually an OC from a friend of mine, ClumsyReaper. They've been writing out Taven's story in more detail over on Archive of Our Own under the title 'Child of Unova,' though their penname is also ClumsyReaper over there. Feel free to give it a read! Taven's story seems like it's going to take a more nuanced look on Pokemon White's version of events by focusing on worldbuilding more so than the events of the game, such as how the gym leaders and League function.

Saying that to say, my version of Taven is set in a different universe from his version - so you'll notice some key differences between them if you do check it out. You'll also notice some other cool parallels between his world and mine, too, such as the existence of certain characters. Anyway, it's not that long and you should check it out :)

——————

Back at the entrance of Verdant Cavern, Elio had no idea what he was looking at. The Gumshoos, still rippling with that vibrant, strobing light, was growling and spitting at two people dressed in stuff that made them look like they belonged in an ancient episode of Star Trek. One was an older man based on the sound of his voice, while the other looked like a girl perhaps even younger than Selene, based on her squeakier tone and petite frame. Both, however, didn't seem to know what to do about the Gumshoos. Just as Elio had skidded to a halt in front of them, the man had sent forth a Furfrou, but chattered to his colleague as if he had no idea what to do with it. Just as Elio intended to ask them what they thought they were doing, the man focused his attention on him. "You, young man," he uttered bluntly, "do you know where a woman named Lillie Rae Aether is located in this cavern? We do not wish to intrude and would rather avoid confrontation with this creature." He flicked his wrist at the Gumshoos.

"Al-ol-a!" his colleague beamed, giving him a jerky, robotic Alolan wave. "That's it, right?"

"Zossie!" the older man snapped at her.

"Sorry, Dulse!" Zossie unflinchingly sang, totally unfazed by the bite in his voice, following by a giggle.

As if losing its patience, the Gumshoos hissed and took a decisive step forward, snapping its teeth mere centimeters away from the Furfrou's nose. The pokémon yelped and its claws clattered against the stone as it dove behind Dulse and Zossie cowardly, shivering.

"Aw, it's okay!" Zossie comforted the pokémon right away, bending to her knees to pet its head. "You can fight when you want to!"

"No, it can't!" Dulse exasperatedly growled. "We need it to fight now, Zossie. Can you get it up?"

Elio narrowed his eyes at them both. They wanted Lillie, but what for? Lillie always seemed so on edge, and he had been told that some bad people wanted to get ahold of her and her odd little pokémon, Nebby… Well, these people certainly seemed unlike anyone else he'd met on Alola so far, and he didn't recognize those outfits from anywhere else, either. Thinking fast, knowing he couldn't hope to potentially fight the furious Gumshoos alongside Selene and Hau after if he tired Macho out dealing with Dulse and Zossie and their Furfrou, Elio took a deep breath and pulled his Rotom Dex from his pocket. Unlike Selene's, his didn't immediately wriggle out of his grasp and start chattering away. Given their circumstances, he couldn't blame it, and he was glad, too; his plan to disorient and send the duo packing relied on his Rotom Dex's subservience.

"Hey, fellas!" Elio drawled as he theatrically threw his hands wide. "You two don't look like you're from around here! Lillie's not here right now, but I'll be sure to leave her a message! Who should I leave the name in? Tweedle-Dee, or Tweedle-Dumb? Anyway," he flamboyantly grinned and slid closer to them, daring to wrap an arm around Dulse's shoulders. Flicking through the options on the Rotom Dex's screen until he located the camera, he snapped a picture of him and the odd man in the same photograph. He wanted some form of evidence to show… er… somebody, if these people were dangerous to Lillie in some way. He actually didn't know what he intended to do with the picture, but it was an almost instinctive reaction, to photographically document something so out of place. Still, his voice maintained that jeering tone and he joked, "Look at that, now you have a souvenir! Give me an email to send it to, why don't ya? But you'll need to do it outside." Elio jabbed a thumb in the Gumshoos' direction. As if to emphasize Elio's point, it snarled obnoxiously loudly. "See, Big, Yellow, and Fluffy doesn't like visitors that aren't challengers, and you guys aren't that, and that's not cool, so…"

Dulse abruptly slapped Elio away, clearly fed up with his odd behavior, and huffed disdainfully. "I do not understand anything you are talking about. We are not here for the trial, or the Gumshoos, or you, or photographs. We are looking for Lillie Rae Aether and her Cosmog. We must return it to containment to prevent disasters from befalling your world and ours."

"Though, we're kinda bad at battles," Zossie chimed in almost ashamedly from behind her partner, still stroking the Furfrou's head. Her voice had much more inflection and personality to it than Dulse's. "See, we don't do that where we come from! So… we kinda don't know how they work, heh!"

"Man, you're fun at parties, huh?" Elio mused to Dulse's face, then gawked at Zossie when she spoke. What the hell are either of them talking about? Where on Earth do people not battle pokémon…? Shit, can I move there? "Where the hell are you two from, anyway? Did Holon lose a couple spies?" he taunted. Actually, that would be kind of awesome if they turned out to be Holoni spies…

"Elio, wait!"

Casting a quick look over his shoulder, Elio saw Selene jog to a stop, her Rowlet hovering around her head. He noticed then that Hau was watching from a distance in the shadows of cavern, his brown eyes as wide as saucers, and shoulders hunched. He seemed to be trying to keep as still and quiet as possible. He supposed it had worked, since Elio hadn't noticed him before then. Waving a hand at his sister dismissively, Elio said, "Stay back, I got this. Just showin' our two new friends here some hospitality!" I don't know who or what they are. For real, Selene, stay outta this, he thought with a fleeting flash of sobering severity.

"Is that Furfrou not going to fight?" Dulse questioned Zossie, his voice dropping an octave.

She shuffled uncertainly as she stood back up. "No, I don't think so…"

"Well—"

Dulse was abruptly cut off by the Gumshoos lunging at him, snapping its teeth around his helmet. Its teeth slid off the sleek metal with a show of sparks, but it still knocked him off balance, tilted his helmet at a strange angle, and panicked his Furfrou. The pokémon whimpered and then tore out of the cavern. Seemingly without a second thought, Zossie yelped something incoherent and darted after it, and Elio jolted when he thought he saw her vanish before she finished fleeing the cave. Under Selene, Elio, and Hau's gawking, Dulse huffily brushed his suit off. "Fine, we will leave for now, for we must secure that pokémon and Zossie," he said, "but understand this. Cosmog has more abilities than you or most others in Alola understand. Until we convince you to let us return it to containment, you must understand that it cannot be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. Aether Foundation was providing a secure environment to house the Beast. By keeping it away, you are endangering this world and the next. Am I clear?"

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Elio asked breathlessly, feeling as if everything Dulse was saying went in one ear and out the other. Before Dulse had a chance to reiterate what he had said (and somehow, Elio felt as if the second round of exposition wouldn't have been any clearer), the Gumshoos snapped its teeth at him again. This time, Dulse managed to dodge the bite, and he stiffly ran after where Zossie had gone then, out of sight before long.

"I'm going out after them to check on Lillie," Elio said immediately, only to have the Gumshoos whirl around and hiss at him. He vaguely heard Hau and Selene snap at him to get back, but he felt frozen as he realized just how close to that beastly Totem Gumshoos he was. Its jagged fangs that had scraped and dug into Dulse's helmet were uncomfortably close, and even more alarmingly, his mind had blanked. His legs felt like lead and he couldn't… move… Suddenly, Macho courageously leapt from the ground at the Gumshoos' face, lashing claws furiously over its nose again and again as it hissed. Selene's Rowlet then dove at its head in a cloak of vines and leaves, while Hau's Popplio blew a bubble that, once it popped next to the Gumshoos, let out a blast of noise that made the Gumshoos backpedal away from the assault. Once it regained its composure, it snapped its fangs over Selene's Rowlet, temporarily stunning the little pokémon as it struggled out of its grasp and back into the air.

"This battle's not over," Selene puffed at her brother as she fell into step next to him. With a curt, reassuring nod, she called, "Rowlet, you've got this! C'mon!"

"We battle Gumshoos," Hau determinedly added as he flanked Elio on the other side, "then find Lillie. Ae!"

"But…" Elio let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Elio, it'll be okay," Selene reassured him with a gentle smile. "I'm sure Lillie's fine… C'mon, let's beat this thing!"

Taking a shaky breath and trying to steel his nerves, Elio found that he could move his feet again. "Alright," he breathed, tucking his Rotom Dex back into a pocket. Ahead of the three of them, their starters readied for their next strike, Macho arching its back, Selene's Rowlet hovering in the air in front of her (though it was faltering slightly in exhaustion), Hau's Popplio clapping its flippers together, all the while, the Totem Gumshoos panted tiredly. Noticing that gave Elio the burst of confidence he felt he needed and for once… he found himself not really thinking about the nastiness of battle. The adrenaline and emotions coursing through him in that moment seemed to banish whatever misgivings he had about the process all at once, and he ordered Macho to perform another Ember. Somehow, with Selene and Hau at his side and their pokémon aligned in front of him, he felt more… alive.

With that, another Disarming Voice from Popper, and Leafage from Selene's Rowlet, the Gumshoos' ethereal glow shuddered and then faded altogether as it collapsed to its stomach. There was a long stretch of silence where the three of them panted breathlessly as their pokémon retreated to their sides before it seemed to set in that they had beaten the Totem Gumshoos. Once Elio reached the conclusion that they had, though, he uncharacteristically hollered in excitement and lunged forward, snatching his Litten in his arms and giving something of a twirl. "Macho, man, we did it! Haha!"

"Congratulations!" Captain Ilima's voice carried from somewhere else in the cave, making the three of them quizzically look up and around, until Elio spotted him step out from behind his fallen Gumshoos. He recalled the pokémon to an Ultra Ball, tucking it away, and then calmly strode over to them with something wedged beneath his left arm. When he drew nearer, Elio realized 'it' was actually several silvery crystals, similar to the ones Kahuna Hala had hewn into the odd bracelet he and Selene now wore. He cocked his head at the crystals as Captain Ilima distributed them amongst the three of them.

"Normally," Ilima sighed, "you'd have picked these up from the altar itself deeper in the cavern, but… I see Gumshoos had to come help you deal with some intruders to the Verdant Cavern… I'll admit, I didn't get to see them before they left, but there is still someone in this cavern that shouldn't be." With that, he briskly marched past Elio, Selene, and Hau, over to a fallen log that acted as a natural bridge between two raised plateaus of stone. Ducking below it deftly, he briefly vanished from sight, before recoiling so fast he nearly hit his head on the log. "Lillie!" he puffed, brushing himself off as he stood to his full height. He exasperatedly put a palm to his forehead. "Come out of there, now, please… It's just me, Captain Ilima."

"Lillie?" Elio echoed, unceremoniously setting Macho to the ground and scrambling to Ilima's side, so relieved to find she was inside and not out there with the two strange people. "You're in there?"

"Are they gone?"

"Yeah, of course," Elio snorted. "Ran with their tail tucked between their legs!" Thinking himself clever, he smirked. "Oh, and the Furfrou ran off too, I guess."

Slowly, Lillie crept out from beneath the fallen log, her eyes pressed to thin slits as she glared at Captain Ilima. Before either she or the Captain could say anything, though, Elio excitedly bounced from foot to foot and beamed. He was far more eager to see her than he wanted to admit (not that he was doing a good job of hiding his exuberant reaction). "Lillie! You're alright! Uh, but…" He frowned and cocked his head. "Who were those people? What were they rambling about with Nebby…?"

"They're bad people who want to help do bad things to Nebby," Lillie answered standoffishly, still scowling at Captain Ilima. Preemptively, she bared her teeth at him and snapped, "Before you say anything, I had to go in here because I had no choice. They blocked my escape out of the entrance, so I came in here. I wasn't about to get caught to avoid making your pokémon mad."

"I never said anything about your reasoning for entering not being strong enough," Ilima asserted pointedly. "It's alright, Lillie. There's no need for you to be so combative. I'm… not going to tell anyone." He shuffled his feet and briefly looked at the ground as he said that. "You other three, let me show you how to use the Normal-type Z-moves—"

"Those two people are after her, and like, want to steal her pokémon by the sounds of it," Elio cut him off crossly, "aren't we gonna do something about that? Like, report them, or…?" You guys have got to take pokémon thievery seriously, at least! That's the least you guys could do! Now that he knew Lillie was out of harm's way, his mind had come to the natural conclusion that he never wanted anything like that to happen again. Lillie did not deserve to live in fear.

Captain Ilima blinked at him. "Report them to… who? I was going to warn Kahuna Hala about them after I learned more from you three about them, but… Do you mean anything else?" Without waiting for Elio to incredulously inform him of what he meant, Ilima's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh! You mean to police, or some other institution like that… I remember that from when I was in Kalos…" He frowned and scuffed a shoe against the stony floor. "I can inform them, but I'm not sure what they would do… Especially since nothing actually happened… Admittedly, the most they would do should they find the people would be to suggest they don't do that…"

It was Selene's turn to chime in. She shook her head in disbelief. "What do you mean? You guys have police, right?"

"From my understanding, we did before…" Captain Ilima sounded so uncomfortable. "I mean, a very long time ago… But over time, the Tapus felt as if they were undermining their authority, and that if they thought people were doing anything wrong, they would intervene… At least, that is how the Kahunas of the time interpreted it. Police exist, but they're not as you know them in other regions, I don't think. We have general guidelines to allow people to live peacefully, and most do follow them," Ilima stressed, "but… nothing nearly as stringent as I have heard Kanto can be. My apologies, I know that is likely quite jarring…" Clearing his throat as if what he had said was big deal, he continued, "Anyway, we should leave the Cavern. I can walk with you three to the Center and help you get checked in for the evening, I know it's getting a little late. There's a café in there if you are hungry, and tomorrow—"

"No, no, stop," Elio waved his hands in front of Ilima to pause him. Swallowing hard, he quavered, "So, you're telling me that police just kind of don't exist here? The Tapus are seen as the law? So, if they had attacked Lillie, or—" Elio's heart suddenly felt like it lurched into his throat. Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad haven't been answering their phones, Mom left that weird note in Galarish for some reason, the door… Meowth… The thin veil of lies he had told himself to reassure himself that his parents were fine felt like it had been torn away violently and his mouth was so, so dry…

"Welcome to Alola, Torchic," Lillie bitterly snorted at him as she brushed past the group, tightly clutching her bag to her side. "I'm with Ilima, though. Let's get out of here, and into the Center for the evening—"

"Mom and Dad are missing," Selene abruptly whispered. When Elio looked at her, she was as white as a sheet. "They left… a weird note… I thought they just…" Trailing off, she gave Elio a frightened, wide-eyed stare. Wordlessly, they both seemed to exchange the same questions: So, where are they really? Who wrote the note? After a moment, Selene stomped her foot and snapped at Ilima, "I just thought after the other day that your police weren't that great, not that you didn't have any real police! What on Earth?"

"Your parents are… missing?" Captain Ilima echoed, concernedly scanning Selene and then Elio with those washed-out eyes. He, too, paled. "What do you mean…?"

Lillie seemed to stop in her tracks at Selene's words. She turned on her heel, her face softer than before, her grip on her bag loose. In fact, her entire posture had slacked. Hau skirted the group until he was next to Lillie, looking equally as sympathetic as he exchanged a knowing look with her.

All their reactions did was serve to scare Elio even further. Shooting Ilima, Hau, and even Lillie distrusting looks, he snatched Selene by her wrist and hissed at her in Kantonian, "Come on, let's go. To the Center. I want us to be alone for a little while." Although she briefly resisted out of shock when he first grabbed her, she soon relented and hurried after him, Macho and her Rowlet following closely. Yet, before they had a chance to scramble out of the cave, Hau dove in front of them and waved his hands wildly at them.

"Wait, please!" he begged. Desperately, he tilted his head and sighed, "I know feeling… Lillie know, too. Let help. Let us help."

"Let you help how?" Elio spat savagely, feeling all his contempt for Hau boil to the surface again. He wasn't feeling so tolerant anymore. The tense understanding they had come to back at the Trainers' School was long gone. "How can you help?"

Hau glanced to Selene as if asking for help, but she only looked down and away from him. At first, he looked taken aback by her reaction, but then… he stiffened his jaw and glowered at Elio. "Alone does not help," he stubbornly growled, straining to stand on his tiptoes to get as close to in Elio's face as he could get. "Do not alone. No."

"Hau's right," Lillie mumbled as she quietly stepped into place next to him. She pressed a hand to Hau's shoulder and he visibly relaxed. With a sorrowful look up to Elio that looked so different from her usual contemptuous glare, she smiled sadly. "Your parents… seemed really nice when I was coming to get you guys… And the way you're clearly upset…" She took a shuddery breath and blinked. "Look, if anything's happened to them, or not and we're just all overreacting, I don't care. I want to help…" Begrudgingly, she muttered, "Also, I guess you did technically help me today… So, there's that, I guess… And Selene did the other day, too…"

"Alola have problem, ae. But never go alone," Hau asserted with uncharacteristic confidence. With a lopsided, easygoing smile that seemed more familiar, he bent down to pick Popper up off the ground. "We find out. Together. Ae!"

"Hau and Lillie have good points," Captain Ilima smoothly articulated as he also moved over to them. "Let me help get you four checked into the Pokémon Center. Whatever's going on with your parents, I want to help in whatever way I can…" He paused and bit his lower lip. "Even though I'm not sure if I'll be that much help after tomorrow… I still want to try."

Panicking by then, Elio swallowed against a mouth of what felt like cotton, unable to process whatever Ilima could have meant by that. He had no idea what to do. It suddenly felt so difficult to trust these people. There was so much about Alola that didn't make sense already, not to mention how it had just been spelled out for him that their parents were most likely not okay, in any capacity, and yet… Who else did they have? He had Selene, yes, but would he be enough to protect her? Lillie, Hau, and Ilima might have been intimidating in that moment, but they knew things about Alola neither he or Selene did… It became painfully clear to him, even though he couldn't quite think in words, just how much he relied on his parents and their family. The idea of suddenly not having either of their parents to help them was abjectly terrifying.

Before he could reach his conclusion, Selene answered for him. "Thank you… All of you…" She wormed her way out of Elio's vice-grip, and her shoulders sagged wearily. "Some… some help would be nice…" Her voice breaking a little, she admitted, "I don't understand this place, but all I know now is that my parents could be in trouble, and if you guys want to help… Please. I'm begging you to please help us, because we aren't going to know what we're doing here."

Elio looked down at the floor. At last, he gruffly whispered, "She's right…"

"We all together," Hau repeated himself firmly. "Follow Captain Ilima. To Center. Talk there more, ae?"

"Sounds good to me, Hau," Selene sniffled a little.

As they fanned out of Verdant Cavern, Elio felt a tidal wave of guilt wash over him, for not having the answers for what to do in this situation, for being so scared when he felt he should have known what to do. He felt like the biggest Magikarp out of water, ever, and he hated that not only he would have to rely on these people he was finding increasingly difficult to trust, but his sister would, too. He didn't mind risking himself in any capacity, but he wished he could have, at the very least, found a way to guarantee her safety… But if Mom and Dad had something happen to them in their very homes without anyone noticing, and if Alola didn't really even have police, how safe could either of them really be? Why had Lillie and Hau exhibited such a surprising change in personality upon learning they were worried their parents were missing?

He felt like he had traveled across space and time and landed in an entirely different world. Alola was a far, far cry from Kanto's heavily guarded streets and strict security measures, where the idea of little to no policing would have been laughed at like the funniest joke anyone had told in the last millennium. As he cagily glanced to the horizon and took in the beautiful, picturesque landscape, Elio curled his lip.

A picture could tell a thousand words, and he was starting to realize that Alola's picture had a true, sinister exposure beneath its delightful contrasts and vibrant colors.

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ongaku-ato-kakikomi · 5 years

Text

1. The Awakening

Author’s Note: First chapter of this series... I hope some of you will like it. It’s pretty much like the game in the beginning, but things are gonna change later on.

Pairing: Wheatley x Reader

Warning: None.

Summary: Wheatley wakes you up from a coma.

Masterlist

“Hello?” Wheatley waits a few seconds in front of the closed door before he tries to knock again, using a moveable metal arm he somewhat has control over. “Anyone in there?”

He hears some shuffling inside the room, then it stops

“Helloo?” The shuffling stops, like his voice scared you. “Are you going to open the door? At any time?”

You don’t seem to be walking towards the door even though he asked you too. That might be a problem, since Wheatley can’t seem to be able to open the door himself. He should be patient with you though, you did just woke up from years of suspension.

“Hello? Can you- no?” He doesn’t hear any movement from your part, which makes him sigh. “Are you going to open this door? Because it’s fairly urgent.”

The fact that you’re still not walking towards him makes him a little frustrated.

“Oh, just open the door!”

He hears a squeak from you.

“Ah, that was too aggressive, was it…?” He makes the sound of someone clearing his throat, then talks louder with a cheery voice. “Hello, friend! Why not open the door?”

He waits for a little while, but still nothing.

“Could be Spanish… could be Spanish...” Yes, that might be the true problem, of course. “Hola amigo! Abue la puerta! Donde esta-no. Um...”

He groans in frustration when his mind can’t seem to find you any other excuses.

“Fine!” He shakes his sphere head (which is also his whole body), squinting his only blue eye at the closed door. “No, absolutely fine! It’s not like I don’t have, you know, ten thousand other test subjects begging me to help them escape. You know, it’s not like this place is about to explode!”

He hears you gasp, but still no movement. He squints his only eye even more, using the moveable metal thing to give three loud knocks to the door and make you react.

But still nothing.

“Alright, look, I’ll be honest. You’re the last test subject left. And if you don’t help me, we’re both going to die, alright? I didn’t want to say it, you dragged it out of me. Alright? You hear me? Dead. Dos muerte.”

He suddenly has the horrible thought that the suspension turned you deaf, and so you have absolutely no idea where you are or that you should open the door.

“Hello? Hellooooo!” He tries to knock louder. “Open the door-”

A rush of hope hits him when he sees the door finally open.

“Ha! I knew someone was alive in there- Aaaah!”

He wasn’t expecting you to be in such a bad state. Your face was paler than what he saw in your file picture, your (e/c) were dulled and confused, your (h/l) (h/c) hair was a huge mess and your whole skin was full of dirt.

Good thing he can’t smell you.

“Oh. My. God. You look terrible-good! Looking good, actually.”

You step away in fear when he enters the room, which is something he’s not used too. Someone? Afraid of him? That’s a first. He can’t help but feel pity for you.

“Are you okay? Are you- Don’t answer that.” He shakes his head to try and recollect his thoughts – now is not the time to asks stupid questions. “I’m actually sure you’re fine. There’s plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow.”

“PLEASE PREPARE FOR EMERGENCY EVACUATION.”

Your eyes go wide and he sees you start to panic. Which is a bad thing (but at least now he’s sure you’re not totally deaf).

“Stay calm! ‘Prepare’- that’s all they’re saying! ‘Prepare’.” His words seem to calm you down a little, but you’re still having a few difficulties to breathe. “It’s all fine. Alright? Don’t move. I’m gonna get us out of here.”

He moves up to the center of the room with the help of the management rail, giving you a last look before disappearing in the ceiling.

“You might wanna hold unto something...” The ceiling closes behind him as he starts to take control of the room. “Word of advice, up to you.”

Just as he finishes talking, the whole room starts to shake really hard because of him moving it around. He concentrates on going to a place where he’ll be able to evacuate you and the whole room. He starts to get worried when he hears you whimper.

“Are you alright down there?” Your whimpering only seems to continue. “Can you hear me? Hello?”

When you don’t seem to react to his words, he puts the room down. He’s glad to hear your whimpers stops as soon as he does that, but he still pops down from the ceiling right after, only to see you sitting on the floor right next to the bed while you’re holding onto it.

“Are you okay?”

Your dulled and confused (e/c) look back at him and, after a few moments, you stand up and stare back at him in silence. Some time passes, and he remembers how long you’ve been put in suspension and how it might have done some terrible damage to you, which would also explain why you’re not talking.

“Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you’ve been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.”

A lot of hair suddenly enters your lungs and tears appear at the corner of your eyes.

“B-but don’t be alarmed! Alright?” Wheatley doesn’t like that you seem to panic even more, and so he tries something else. “Although, since you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling… because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.”

It doesn’t work. You’re still panicking.

“Do you understand what I’m saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense?” You only look back at him with the same confusion. “Just tell me- just say ‘Yes’.”

You tilt your head at him, thinking hard for a second.

Before you jump.

And then you smile at him proudly.

“Okay. What you are doing there is jumping.” You lose your smile to give him back your same confused expression. “You just… you just jumped.”

Your expression seem to turn to a disappointed one, and Wheatley feels the need to make you feel better.

“But never mind. You can try again. Say ‘Apple!’.” He nods proudly at his own choice of word. “‘Aaaaaple’!”

You concentrate really hard on the word he wants you to say, your eyebrows frowning while you shut your eyes as tightly as you can.

Then you jump again.

“No, that’s-” Wheatley gets cut off by an alarm going off. “Okay, you know what? That’s close enough. Just hold tight.”

He only has time to see your eyes go wide again before he disappears inside the ceiling for a second time, starting to move the room around immediately.

“ALL REACTOR CORE SAFEGUARDS ARE NOW NON-FUNCTIONAL. PLEASE PREPARE FOR REACTOR CORE MELTDOWN.”

Wheatley accidentally hits a bunch of walls, destroying some of them.

“Okay, look, I wasn’t going to mention this to you, but I am in pretty hot water here.” He destroys more walls just when he says that, and he gets worried that you might have gotten hurt. “How are you doing down there? You still holding on?”

He suddenly wishes that you could tell him anything, but he’ll have to hope that you’re still alive and in the room.

If only this wasn’t happening.

“The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects…!” The room stops when it hits a partial metal wall, and he groans. “Hold on! This is a bit tricky!”

He manages to move up and therefore continue his journey towards safety, his concentration then going back to his ranting.

“And of course, nobody tells me anything! Noooo. Why would you tell me anything? Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I’m supposed to be in charge of?” He stops when he sees a possible opening in a nearby wall and he goes towards it. “Oi, it’s close! Can you see better than me? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?”

He doesn’t need your answer (which he probably wouldn’t have got anyway) since he’s already trying to make through.

“… ah… just… I gotta get through here...” The room crashes a little, but he can tell that he’s almost there. “Okay, I just gotta concentrate!”

And sure, he eventually makes it, continuing his path soon after.

“And whose fault do you think it’s going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables- Aght!” He hisses when the room hits some more metal walls. “See, now, I hit that one… I hit that one...”

The room moves around some metal pipes as he continues to move around, internally hoping to not destroy everything until he reaches destination.

“Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks-- and no one’s gonna ask, don’t worry- but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead. Okay, almost there!”

Wheatley moves towards a wall with the words ‘DOCKING STATION’ written in yellow on it.

“On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There’s a piece of equipment in there that we’re gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station… get ready!”

Right after he says this, he hits the wall one time, opening it enough to see what’s inside.

“Good news: that is not a docking station! So there’s one mystery solved.” He moves the room back a little. “I’m gonna attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical. Hold on.”

He moves forward and hits the wall a second time, opening the wall a little more.

“Almost there! Remember: you’re looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullets holes, but-- well, you’ll figure it out.” He moves back again. “Really hold this time!”

He hears you scream in fear when he hits the wall for the third and final time, this time destroying it completely but also getting the room stuck between two rooms made of glass. Wheatley chuckles in victory before he comes down the ceiling, seeing you still holding on the bed.

Thank god, you’re still alive.

“Whew! There we go!” You shakily stand up and walk towards him, before looking ahead behind the destroyed wall with curiosity. “Now, I’ll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet.”

You look back at him in worry.

“B-but… um… at least you’re a good jumper! So… you’ve got that. You’ve got the jumping on your side.”

You awkwardly smile back and nod, which makes him feel like you’re trusting him a little.

“Just do your best and I'll meet you up ahead. Also, my name is Wheatley. Just so you know who I am. No big deal.”

You take a few seconds before giving out a hesitant nod. You then walk a few steps, stops, and look back at him in worry.

“It’s fine! Just go ahead.”

You sigh, then walk again.

“That’s the spirit!” He closes his eye when you scream and crash through the glass. “Well… good luck!”

He moves on his management trail towards another path, hoping that you’ll be fine until you two meet again.

#portal #portal 2 #portal imagine #portal imagines #portal x reader #portal wheatley #wheatley portal #wheatley imagine #wheatley imagines #wheatley x reader #imagine #imagines #x reader

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seeaddywrite · 5 years

Text

written for alex manes appreciation week 2019, day one: “daydreaming with a broken heart.” i played fast and loose with the prompt, as always, but i am fairly proud that this is under 3k! shout out to my sister for reading through it to make sure it was at least coherent, even though this is not her fandom, & to @soberqueerinthewild for helping me modify my original idea that was not working when i started to something that did.

disclaimers: alex’s views on mental health are not my views; keep in mind, his state of mind is not great in most of these moments, & he tends to be harder on himself than is really fair.

warnings: unreliable narrator, PTSD, war-time, generally poor mental health. set mostly pre-canon, with some future-fic at the end. as always, guys, it’s angst with a happy ending.

The first time Alex realizes that the entirety of the Atlantic Ocean can’t keep him away from Michael Guerin, he’s in the middle of the desert on his first deployment, crouching behind a crumbling wall in an outpost. Ostensibly, he’s trying to find a safe place to work, but in reality, he’s really just attempting to keep the contents of his stomach where they belong, rather than splashed over the sand-covered floor.

Angry shouts in a language Alex only sort-of knows precede the rapid report of gunfire by a few seconds, but it’s still not enough time. His fingers move faster on the laptop he’d swiped from one of the empty rooms in the outpost; it’s covered in dust and the screen is cracked, but it’s functioning, which means there’s a chance Alex can hack into the communications network and get a radio message through to their back-up. He can rescue this entire clusterfuck op, can make sure his men get home. He can fucking do this; he just has to ignore the sweat dripping down his face and the shouts of screaming men and gunfire, and focus on the code.

“We’re sitting ducks in here, Manes! You better have a fucking plan!”

The bellow from Argent is nearly drowned out by the repetitive thunder of gunshots from his weapon, and Alex can’t spare a thought or an instant to respond. Being surrounded in an outpost in the middle of the desert isn’t great, but it’s a hell of a lot worse when there are only three friendlies, with the rest of their men at least a mile away with no way to know Alex’s guys are in need of rescue. Alex sucks in a lungful of humid air and focuses back on the screen in front of him, searching the flickering lines of code for a back-door entry to the communications array.

When Argent’s bellows keep coming, though, urging Alex to hurry, he lifts his gaze from the laptop screen exactly long enough to realize that the enemy is no longer simply shooting from outside — they’re in the fucking building now, and getting closer with every second. Alex does his best to swallow down the panic that swells in his chest, but his fingers shake on the keys in front of him, and his vision blurs. It’s too much — too much pressure, too much stress, too much, and Alex has never been able to come through for anyone when it really matters. He’s not strong like his brothers, not heartless like his father, and this is not the life he should have had. His incompetence is going to get his squad killed, and Alex is sucking air into his lungs, but he still can’t breathe.

“Since when are you the one who gives up?” The irritated, slightly mocking voice is so familiar, so real, that Alex’s head snaps around, certain that he’s about to find Guerin somehow in the middle of this mission alongside him. The thought doesn’t help the churning in his stomach or the panic still steadily mounting in his chest, but when he looks, there’s no one standing there. Another loud gunshot echoes through the room; closer, again. Closer all the time.

“Come on, Alex, you’ve got this. You can do shit like this in your sleep.” Michael doesn’t know that — Michael doesn’t even know that Alex has been taking computer classes since he was in middle school, but it’s what Alex needs to hear, and the tremors in his fingers and knees finally start to ease at the reminder. He can do things like this in his sleep. The communications array in these places are rarely even protected by a decent firewall; the real enemy here, Alex realizes, is himself. He can do this, and he will.

With a sudden surge of determination, Alex forces numb fingers to move, striking keys in rapid succession until he’s down to one stubborn line of code that just doesn’t want to cooperate. He hesitates at the sound of yelling behind him, but there’s a ghost of a caress on his cheek, drawing his attention back where it needs to be, and Alex doesn’t waste any time reminding himself that Michael can’t actually be here, that he’s probably hallucinating due to stress or exhaustion — because he doesn’t give a shit. The idea that Guerin stills cares enough to help him now is one that he desperately needs at the moment, and clings to it with both hands.

“Good,” Michael’s voice praises him, and later, Alex will wonder if the stress of this op cost him his sanity, since he’s hearing his ex-boyfriend’s voice from half a world away and actually feeling proud at the praise. Jesus Christ, apparently, war fucks people up a lot faster than Alex realized.

“Hey, stay with me,” that same, calm voice demands. “Take a deep breath and get this done. You’re okay.” Still half in the thrall of whatever psychotic break he has to be in the middle of, Alex obeys, hauling in more oxygen through his nose. As he does, the musky scent of cheap aftershave hits Alex’s nose somehow, over the smell of sweat and sand and electrical discharge, and for a moment, Alex is so sure that he’s safe that his body believes it. His fingers stop shaking, his focus sharpens — and less than a moment later, he finds the right line of code and corrects it, and the distress call goes out over the radios.

The other two men hear it and cheer, but Alex is too busy missing the phantom caress of a daydream on his cheek.

That’s not the last strange, dreamlike encounter Alex has with Michael in times of stress — an no, that’s not something that he’ll be admitting to his military-appointed shrink anytime soon, thanks just the same. He knows that Michael doesn’t really come to him when he’s scared or in pain, is well aware that it’s a trick of his subconscious as it yearns for the peace and safety of home, which he’d always found in Michael Guerin’s embrace. Psychologically, Alex thinks, it makes total sense. And most of the time when it happens, he’s too busy fighting for his life or the lives of others, to worry about what this might mean for him.

The day that they lose Argent, Michael is there, a phantom hand in his and a muted, grieving whisper in his ear reminding him that Argent would kick his ass if he got himself killed, too. When Alex ends up hacking into a the controlling element for weapons of mass destruction while his team engages hostiles, Michael’s there behind him, invisible hands on his shoulders, murmuring reassurances and sweet nothings until the goal is met and his team is safely on their way back. That time, Michael stays until the others arrive, and Alex would swear he feels arms around him while he shakes apart when the urgency is gone and he can no longer suppress the panic. When his men arrive and the feeling of Guerin disappears, Alex cries. The guys take it as a sign of pain, and insist on all but carrying him to their transpo unit, but even in the indignity doesn’t quite manage to stop his tears.

Time and time again, as the slow, grueling years of enlistment pass, Michael is there when Alex needs him, and the latter comes to rely on that knowledge. He doesn’t forget that it can’t be real, doesn’t pretend that he hasn’t gone half-mad in these damn deserts, and on his worst days, he curses himself for a fool for treating this as normal when it’s obviously a sign that he’s just as psychotic as his father. But if Alex can’t have Michael in the real world, and if he has to be at war, despite promising himself for at least fifteen years that he would never take this path, Alex feels like he deserves this one, small thing. He’s not hurting anyone else — only himself — after all.

Alex doesn’t remember the explosion that took his foot and part of his leg. He remembers running when the tell-tale whine of an incoming bomb hit his ears, and the sound of panicked screams of the villagers and soldiers alike in the village. He remembers the images as if looking through a kaleidoscope; the brown of the sand, the blue of the sky, the open-mouthed expressions of horror and panic on the faces around him. He remembers his own ragged breathing and the strain in his muscles as he tries to make it out of the impact zone —

And he remembers the hand in his, dragging him along when he stumbles. “Move, Alex, move! Don’t you dare stop! Don’t you fucking dare!” Alex has never heard Michael sound quite so panicked; even when Jesse Manes took a hammer to his hand, Michael had only ever screamed in pained fury. Now, his tone is desperate, bordering on frantic, and somehow, if only to appease Michael and keep that sound from his voice, Alex manages to run faster.

He wakes up in a VA hospital in Germany ten days later, sans nearly half of his right leg. The doctors tell him that there’s an infection in the residual limb, and that they’re worried about his fever, so he vaguely understands that he’s hallucinating when Michael perches on the side of his hospital bed. It seems so real that Alex allows himself to forget, just this once, that it isn’t. He wants to escape the reality that he’s going to be forced to endure for the rest of his life, and the only way that’s possible is with Guerin.

It’s the only time he ever sees Michael in one of these episodes. Every other encounter, it’s just been his ghost, able to touch and be touched but never seen. Now, though, Michael looks terrible as he brushes tender fingers through Alex’s regulation-length hair, his own knotted and greasy, with giant, bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes. “Fuck, Alex,” he breathes, his voice so rough that Alex knows he’s holding back tears. “I thought — when we were running, I thought —

Alex steadfastly ignores that he’s talking to a voice in his head and squeezes Michael’s hand. It’s the good one, the one without the scars and damage inflicted by Jesse Manes all those years ago, and he’s grateful for that. With his mind woozy from pain meds and fever, Alex doesn’t think he could put that awful night back in its mental lockbox if something pulled it out. “Not dead,” he mutters, wishing he could make his voice louder. But his throat is dry and he’s just so fucking tired, and the barely-there whisper is all he can manage. “You saved me.”

Michael shakes his head, so vehemently his curls fall over his eyes. “No way, Alex. You saved yourself. Just like always.” There’s a gentle touch at his brow, and Alex almost allows his eyes to close — but he’s suddenly terrified that if he does, Michael will disappear, and he’ll be left alone, staring at the place on his body where his right foot should be, and he doesn’t think he can do that yet. So Alex just stares at him, turning his head when Michael shifts so that he never leaves his line of sight. He drinks him in like a man dying of thirst, clinging to his good hand, and the soft kiss to his forehead makes his eyes burn with tears. “God, I love you,” he murmurs. “And I’m so fucking proud of you.”

The tears spill over this time, because those are words Alex has never heard before, not outside of Maria’s joking proclamations or one of the guys’ sarcastic retorts, and he knows, in his bones, that Michael means it.

That’s probably why he has to be sedated when the nurse comes in and Alex is left completely and utterly alone.

Two years later, when Alex is back in Roswell and finally free of the military and his father, he curls into Michael’s naked body and buries his head in his neck, inhaling the familiar musky scent of cheap aftershave. It’s humid and dry outside, like a true desert summer, and the intersection of each of those circumstances sends him back to that very first mission, where he’d very nearly frozen and gotten all of his men killed. Alex swallows, the memory full of shame and residual fear, and Michael immediately tightens his grip around his waist.

“Hey,” he murmurs, and Alex turns his face up to look at his newly-reinstated boyfriend with a questioning tilt to his eyebrow. They’ve come a long way from those scared teenaged boys in a shed, and Alex can now look at Michael and see the man he’s become. Strong, brilliant, brave . . . alien. That last part doesn’t scare him anymore, though when Alex had believed there was a chance he could lose Michael to the cosmos, it had. They’ve done battle together, now, and not just in Alex’s head. They’ve faced down Jesse Manes and a serial killing alien. They worked together to bring Max Evans back from the dead, and reintegrate Rosa Ortecho back into society with a new identity. The two of them have a family, now, a real one, and it starts with each other.

“I’m okay,” Alex says, half of his mouth lilting upward in a half-smile. “Just — remembering.”

Michael shifts, running a hand down Alex’s bare back, and waits for the explanation. Alex considers a moment, then chuckles ruefully. “When I left to join the Air Force,” he begins, bracing himself for the instinctive flinch the words evoke from Michael. It’s a sore point between them even now, when they’ve finally sorted everything out, and Alex knows that only time will bleed the pain from those memories. “I guess I kind of — lost it, a little. Every time something went wrong, every time I was in danger, I used to . . . imagine you were there.” The tops of Alex’s ears feel hot with embarrassment, and if it weren’t for Michael’s arms around him, he’d probably try to pull away.

Instead, he manages a crooked smile. “Don’t worry, I know that sounds insane. I just —” He shrugs self-consciously, not wanting to dive into too many of the details. It’s bad enough that he’s just admitted to his most closely-guarded secret out loud; he doesn’t need Michael to know exactly how pathetic he’d been. “I guess I just wanted to feel like you were with me, even when you couldn’t be. And it — you — saved me. Kept pushing me to run when I wanted to give up, the day this happened.” He taps his bad leg to illustrate, and hides his face back in the warmth of Michael’s neck, hoping they can just go to sleep and stop talking about this.

Michael keeps stroking his back, slow and comforting, and there’s no judgement in his body language, so Alex manages to relax after a moment. This is what he’s needed for years; just Michael, holding him. The rest of it doesn’t matter, because as long as Alex can count on this, he knows he’s in no danger of truly losing his mind.

He’s on the verge of sleep when Michael shifts beneath him, rolling so that they’re face to face on the pillow rather than tucked into one another. A hint of mischief sparks in his eyes, and there’s a tilt to his smile that suggests he knows something Alex doesn’t. When he finally speaks, the words are so familiar, so specific, that all Alex can do is gape at him in incredulity.

“No way, Alex. You saved yourself. Just like always.”

#my fic #roswellnm fic #malex fic #alexmanesweek2019 #angst with a happy ending

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