#none of them feel like they fit quite right anymore

[kellykline]

savin 60 and ur actively using the gadreel one 😭😭

but anon i love him. hes my baby girl hes my hound dog hes everything to me. what atrocities.

also i get to matchy match with sophie except sophie is not using that url today that IS a major part of the motivation. as always thank you to az for the inspiration.

#i have three other gadreel urls too #i do think about changing it sometimes but i have so much fun with him. he and i are skipping down the road hand in hand #what would i even change it to. milliewinchester? kellykline? variousvillains? archangeljack? #none of them feel like they fit quite right anymore

[reidmotif]

Dialing up for Trouble

Summary: Reader and Spencer were fuck-buddies, until Spencer cuts her off quite suddenly. A party and some risque images may be enough to get them back to their old routine.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: semi-public sex, sexting, mentions of nude images and descriptions of generic lingerie, masturbation (f!receiving), penetrative sex, semi-dom!spencer

Word Count: 3.5 k

Masterlist

Clichés bothered me. There was no other way to put it. I’d grown up hating the likes of love triangles, meet-cutes, chosen ones, and right now, I was being reminded more than ever of that hatred because, what the fuck? 

“Too much of a good thing” was the reasoning Spencer had cited when he proposed we stop sleeping together casually, and return to our previous relationship of  “just coworkers”. I’d let him know how ridiculous I found his sentiment, and attempted every possible method to continue our secret rendezvous, but he was absolutely dead-set on his decision, it seemed.

 No more sex. No more late-night calls. None of it. It was all over. All because of a cliche. 

We seemed to agree on one thing, and that was, yes. The sex was fantastic. It really was that good. While I’d never wish weariness on Spencer Reid, I couldn’t deny that in the aftermath of stress and frustration from whatever life had chosen for him, the way he’d deal with that was absolutely electrifying for me.

I’d find myself constantly breathless, pulled into hotel rooms, storage closets- anything resembling the barest hint of privacy, and allow him to use me as he saw fit. I gave him complete trust and control over my body, and in turn, he rewarded me with some incredibly life-changing orgasms. And for what it’s worth, he seemed to get an equal amount of satisfaction out of our hidden trysts, which only made his recent decision that more devastating.  

It’d been roughly a month since we’d had sex, or anything resembling the sort, and I found myself absolutely deprived. When the FBI gave out invitations to its semi-annual gala, I imagined the festivities would be enough to distract me, but I was completely in error for assuming so. Amidst drinks and conversations, there was the occasional lull where I couldn’t help but absentmindedly imagine the feel of his hands over my skin, squeezing the fat of my hips. His lips trailing up and down my neck, focusing on spots only he knew about. The way his hair would tickle against my thighs when he’d bury his head-

“Hey.” 

The voice breaks me out of my thoughts, and I have to remind myself not to choke on my beverage. There he was. The current subject of my thoughts, standing in front of me, live and in the flesh. Spencer Reid. 

“Hey.” I mirror back, taking a sip of my drink, acting as lax as I could, given the circumstances. “Enjoying yourself?” I ask, gesturing to the party in front of us, the general ambience. 

“You know me.” He replies, pausing for a second, keeping his gaze trained on mine. “Not my scene but.. doable.” 

I chuckle for a moment, understanding perfectly. Spencer wasn’t exactly the most social guy out there. I was honestly surprised he’d chosen to come to this thing at all in the first place. 

“You look nice.” He says, suddenly. “Your dress. It’s nice.” He rushes out the words, as if he’s scared to say them in the first place. 

I smooth down the fabric instinctively, nodding. I try not to let the compliment affect me so much, keeping my head down for a split second to hide the creeping heat emanating from my cheeks. 

 “Thank you. I appreciate it.” 

I surprise myself with my own answer. The silence for that tick is horrible. I appreciate it? Jesus. I couldn’t think of the right words anymore. The correct and witty response that would allow this conversation to flow smoothly. 

 I truly wanted to fuck this man so bad, it made me look stupid. 

And stupid I was, because yet again, I attempted to test the current parameters of our relationship he’d put us on. I swallow my pride, lifting my head to meet his eyes with mine. 

“If you like it so much, you could- you know. Take it off.” I say, biting my lip. There’s a light tease in my voice, but it’s obvious I’m being as forthcoming as I possibly could. No games. No jokes. I didn’t want to dance around it, and I hoped my boldness would reward me as it did previously in the past. 

But no, it seems that fortune does not favor the bold, because Spencer’s immediate response was to shake his head, lowering his voice. He pulled on my arm to decrease our proximity, to the point where it was ensured no passer-bys could possibly hear our conversation. 

“Come on.” He pleads, almost looking desperate.  “I told you we should stop- hasn’t that worked out? We can be coworkers. This works.”

I roll my eyes, letting my displeasure show plainly over my face. “This works?” I say, and the sarcasm is clear in my voice. “Sex worked too, you know.” 

“I know it did!” He says, in a hushed whisper. “But- we can’t. No. It’s not right. Too much of a-” 

“If you finish that sentence, I swear to god.” I say, my expression turning much more volatile. I forcibly shrug his arm off me. “This is stupid.” I continue, trying not to let my voice rise. “I see the way you look at me. I know it was good for both of us. I know you’re thinking about it just as much as I am, so why not!” There’s a hint of hurt in my voice as well. Underneath all the sex, I’d grown to miss the interactions after. The giggles under covers and the feel of his hair in my fingers. I missed him. All of him. 

There’s a miserable pause on his end, and I hold my breath waiting for his next words. Spencer sputters, looking absolutely defeated. “Because- because we just can’t, okay?” He replies, helplessly, stepping back from me, as I’d done with him. “Look. I’m just going to enjoy the rest of the party, okay? Take care of yourself, yeah?” 

Before I can get in another word, demanding a real explanation from the man, he leaves me alone, replaying the words of his confusing outburst in my mind. 

I take a short time to myself, electing to go use the restroom and take a breather from the party, a bit on edge after our exchange. Was it possible he was completely fine with what the loss of our arrangement had done to us? Was I the only one absolutely losing my mind? Any attempt to diverge my attention from the topic proved futile, and  I remained in the closed room, mindlessly adjusting myself in the mirror with no real rhyme or reason. There’s an eventual use of my phone, focusing the camera directly on my face to make sure nothing had smudged or looked off on my face in the time I’d last checked my makeup. In the use of the device, I remembered the pictures I’d taken before coming here. 

The pictures weren’t meant to serve any true purpose. I’d bought new lingerie for this dress, as my previous bras weren’t suited to the cut and shape of the specific piece of clothing, and decided to take a few pictures for myself. It was lacy, and pretty, but nothing truly special. The bra had a slight push-up effect, and the panties were a bit cheekier than my normal, day-to-day undergarments.  The actual lingerie was innocent- harmless, even. Looking at the images right now, though, a salacious idea creeped into my head. 

Under the right circumstances, these could be exactly the catalyst to finally receiving what I wanted. 

I open the messaging app on my phone, finding Spencer’s contact, and beginning to type out a simple message. 

hey. 

The response is immediate. 

What’s up? 

You good? 

Where’d you go? 

I laugh a little. I imagined him scanning the crowd for me, trying to figure out where I’d gone off to. 

all good, don’t worry

so we’re still sticking to the no sex thing? 

I see his typing bubble pop up, then pause. Then starts up again. 

Yes. 

Trust me, it’s for the better. 

I groan internally. Of course he thinks that. Always thinks he knows what’s good for everyone. 

trust me 

if you knew what i had planned for us

you wouldn’t say that

I feel my phone vibrate in my hand, indicating he was now calling me? I hadn’t planned for this. 

“Spencer?” I remark, waiting for his voice on the line. 

“What do you mean?” He says, quickly. I can no longer hear the bustle of the party in the background, so it’s only reasonable to assume he’s moved somewhere quieter. Still, I ask. 

“Are you around other people?” I murmur, keeping my voice low. 

“No. Alone. What did you mean by your last message?” He repeats, quickly. 

There’s my in. I respond, feigning an unmistakable innocence in my voice. “Mind if I show you?” 

“Show me?” The confusion in his voice is palpable. 

“Show you.” I reply, more definitively.  “Check your messages.” 

I bring my phone away from my ear, electing to send the first picture I saw in my camera roll,  which prominently featured my breasts- a feature of mine I knew Spencer was quite interested in. I return to the call, my heart pounding wildly. 

“Did you see?” I ask, hesitantly, when all I can hear is his breathing on the other line. 

The response is a choked out, breathy mess of a sentence. “Yeah- I did. Jesus.” 

“Want more?” I murmur, biting my lip as the realization dawned on me that this possibly had a chance of working. 

There’s a delay in his words on the line, before I finally hear:

“Yes. God, yes.” 

I grin ear-to-ear, beginning to send an assortment of pictures I’d taken previously in the day. Knowing this was having an effect on him, that somewhere in this party Spencer was sitting alone, his gaze trained on his phone intently, did something to me. He was behaving this way because of my body, because of what I could do to him. 

It was hard not to get wet at the thought. 

“You look so good.” He breathes out, and the desire in his voice is unmistakable. 

“Yeah?” I mumble to the speaker. “You think so?” 

“Mhm.” He murmurs. “You’re wearing this right now?” He asks, seemingly needing that confirmation at this moment.  

“In all its glory.” I try not to giggle before murmuring teasingly, “What, you wanna see?” 

“Where are you?” He asks, suddenly seeming very determined. I can hear the shuffling on the other line, indicating he was now starting to move from where he was currently situated. He was completely, and utterly serious about this. 

“Bathroom, on the left corridor of the entrance.” I say, feeling exhilarated at the thought of him meeting me here. This was happening. 

Finally. 

“Stay.” He replies, and the call cuts. 

There’s an impatient itch that creeps up on me during the two-minute wait for him, before I hear a solid knock on the door, and my name being whispered through the door, belonging to a voice I’d grown so accustomed to and fond of. 

My fingers undo the lock, opening it just enough so that he could squeeze through without drawing too much attention to ourselves right now. 

And as soon as he’s managed in, he’s practically on me, devouring me with a kiss with a passion I’d never felt from him before. My hands go to wrap around his neck, pressing our bodies flush against each other, every ragged breath of his shooting directly to my core, which was now throbbing with need. 

“Fuck. Missed this so much.” He breathes out, gasping for air in between our kisses. I couldn’t so much as get a whimper out, before he’d dive right in again. It’s like he wanted to eat me alive. 

And I’d let him. 

I moan softly into his mouth, starved for more contact between us. It’s as if he can read my mind, because in an instant,  he guides us from the center of the bathroom, towards a wall, slotting his thigh between my legs. He takes a momentary break from ravishing me with his lips, now adopting a slower, more sensual pace as he works down my neck, each soft kiss leaving me craving him even more.  

His hands drift down to my hips, keeping me pinned against the wall as he murmured soft praises. My legs felt wobbly, absolutely taken aback by how quickly I could go weak for this man. 

“You like this, mm?” He mumbles, letting his teeth nip over the lobe of my ear, before switching to a more neglected side of my neck. “Like me that much, mm?” 

I don’t care about the cockiness in his tone. I don’t care how smug I render him. I just need him to continue this, for as long as I can have him. 

“Yes.” I breathe out, my voice higher-pitched than it normally would be. “God. Love this so much.” 

There’s a flash of hesitance from him, as he pulls his face away from my neck, staring at my eyes with his own. I can’t dwell on the pause, because for once, I’m finally seeing him. His hair was absolutely ruined, sticking up wildly in different directions. His cheeks were a light pink, serving to make his features even prettier and doe-like than before. But what got me were his eyes. His pupils were blown out, the normal honey-hazel I’d seen on a daily basis replaced with an absolute abyss of black. The darkness served to cause a surge within me, practically launching forward to meet his lips with mine. 

There are no words required for what happens next, as I feel his hand creep up my back, pulling me away from the wall and towards the closest surface, which happened to be the sink. He guides me to bend over, and I do so with no resistance.

 He could have me, whichever way he wanted, whenever he wanted. All I needed was his touch. 

I can feel him crouch to his knees, slowly reaching under my dress to hook his fingers around my panties, slowly pulling them down. I can feel a string of my arousal clinging to the fabric, and it seems Spencer can too, because he practically moans as he drags the soiled piece of lingerie down my thighs. I step out of them quickly, and turn my head back, fast enough to see him stuff the proof of our debauchery down his suit pocket. 

“Eyes ahead.” He whispers, leaning down close to my ear to nip at the sensitive flesh again. 

“Okay.” I murmur, slipping into a more submissive version of myself that he seemed to bring out in me. There’s a sense of relaxation and excitement all at the same time, and I’m absolutely wracked with lust for him. 

His fingers stroke my clit for a moment, applying pressure in just the right way. The movements are practiced, precise and guaranteed to hurl me off the edge if he continues this way. 

“You’re soaked, sweetheart.” He murmurs, almost amazed,  letting his fingers slip away. “All this for me?” 

I can barely respond, whimpering and nodding. “Yes. Please- Spencer.” I beg, needily. 

“I know, I know.” He replies, and I can hear how pleased he is. There’s a certain delight he derives from my submission, and while in any other circumstance, the smugness he displays would turn me off, right now it only served to further my hunger. 

I can feel him start to work on his belt, sliding the coarse material of his dress pants just enough, so that his cock could spring free. I can’t see it, but I can feel it, his tip sliding through my folds, and I clench at the thought of him finally being inside of me. 

Just when I believed his teasing to be done, there’s a knock at the door, and we both freeze. Spencer swallows, and quickly raises his voice. “Occupied!” 

There’s silence, and that previous sense of lust and content drifts back into our bodies, Spencer’s fingers trace up to my face, and he lets his finger slip into my mouth. I can taste my arousal on his fingers, and there’s a genuine struggle on my end to stay upright. How could I, when the man behind me rendered me so indisposed? 

He draws his fingers out of my mouth. “Good girl.” He whispers.

It seems the universe has other plans though, because yet again- a knock sounds at the door. I can hear Spencer’s groan, and watch through the mirror as he attempts to come up with a response that would give us the seclusion we required. 

My patience however, had worn thin. His cock was right there, and I’d be damned if I was forced to wait any longer. I turn my head towards the door, complacency and submission gone from my voice. 

“Do you mind? I’m trying to fuck him in here!” I say, snarking out the words. 

There’s a silence, and a murmur of mortification on the other side of the door. Footsteps. And then at last, silence. 

Spencer quickly leans down to kiss my cheek, mumbling out an “I love you.” 

Before I can even comprehend the words, he’s guiding himself into me, sliding his cock through my walls, and I have to bite my lip to keep a scream in. He feels so fucking good inside of me, stretching me out in ways no man ever could. I can feel the underside of his cock hitting that spongy spot deep inside of me, and my breathing turns rapid in mere seconds. 

“There we go, relax for me baby, yeah?” He mumbles. “Nice and slow.” 

I moan out my affirmative, gripping onto the sink as I let my jaw drop, eyes squeezing in absolute ecstasy. “So good for me.” He murmurs. “So warm and wet, Jesus.” 

And with that, he starts a pace that works for both of us. It’s hard and fast, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. The feel of his cock gliding through my puffy walls is intoxicating, and I can only wonder how I went so long without feeling it. 

It seems Spencer’s having similar  thoughts, because through my moans and his occasional groans, I can feel his grip on my hips get more bruising by the second, marking me as his own. I can hear occasional fragments of words through his noises. 

“Never letting you go. Oh fuck. Fuck.” He mumbles, and despite the overwhelming amount of arousal shooting through me, my heart swells. 

“Me too.” I whimper out, gripping the sink even harder. I can feel my wetness seeping all around us, splashing against my thighs with every movement he drives into me. “Need you so badly.” 

“Rub your clit for me.” He demands, whispering out the words. “Need to see you come on my cock first, pretty girl.” The words are strained, and I can tell he’s doing everything to keep from spilling inside of me prematurely. 

There’s no reason to temporize, and my fingers make their way down to the sensitive bundle of nerves, and the effect is almost immediate. It takes roughly a minute of my incessant rubbing and the feel of him inside me before I’m coming with a soft shout, growing limp against the sink as my muscles twitch and fill me with a deep sense of relief and satisfaction. 

Spencer isn’t far behind me, humping into me a few more times before coming inside of me, the release signified with a loud moan and a sense of warmth flooding my deepest point. He slumps against my back, pressing a few, soft kisses to my neck. 

As we both come down from our highs, I recall the words Spencer mumbled in my ear previously. I let out a self-satisfied giggle, which Spencer smiles at. 

“Mm. What’s that about?” He murmurs. 

“You love me?” I ask, softly. 

A pause. 

“A little.” He responds, voice equally as soft. 

“Is that why you stopped having sex with me?” I mumble out, gently. 

He presses another kiss to the nape of my neck. “Mhm. Please don’t be mad.” 

I let out a soft chuckle. “Not mad. The opposite, really.” 

He pulls me up, causing us both to look at each other. “You feel the same way?” 

I nod, biting my lip. “We could try this out, I think. I want to, Spencer.” 

I stop, and decide I do need to tease him a bit, especially after the sex-less agony he put me through for a month. 

“Though, I do recall someone telling me too much of a good thing can go bad..” 

His lips part in confusion, before he picks up the teasing nature of my words and leans in for a soft, simple kiss. He keeps his forehead on mind, his eyes staring into mine with a gentle reverence. 

“Let’s indulge just this once.” 

holy shit has it been a long time since i've written a fic!! i'm so sorry?! i've been dealing with life and other assorted things and writing sort of took a backseat in that period of time <3 i hope this was okay. as usual any feedback, likes, comments, reblogs are so so greatly appreciated. i love writing for spencer, and i hope you guys like that writing too <3 i'm sorry that the two previous fics i promised seem to be delayed, i swear i'm gonna write those next, but inspiration sort of just struck on my end f or this, and i hope it was good <3 but yeah!! thank you so much for reading and interacting with this in any way you choose!! i appreciate it greatly!!

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid self insert #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds self insert #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid fluff

[baubarbz]

SWEATER

pairing : spencer reid x pregnant! reader

summary : reader is feeling a little upset as her body is changing, and spencer helps her !

warning : crying , pregnancy ?

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You stood at the sink, brushing your teeth and gazing into the mirror. Spencer emerged from the shower, his hair dripping wet and his eyes sparkling with a warm smile. As you exchanged a soft good morning kiss, he placed his hand gently on your belly, a tender gesture that made your heart flutter.

As you headed to the closet to get dressed, Spencer started brushing his teeth. But when you tried to button up your work blouse, frustration hit. None of them fit quite right anymore, and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. Your body was changing, and it was tough to adjust.

Just as you let out a sob, Spencer rushed out of the bathroom, concern etched on his face. "Hey, what's wrong?" He took in the scene - your tears, the discarded blouses - and quickly got it.

You gestured to your blouses, feeling a mix of emotions. "None of these fit...because of the baby." Your voice cracked, and Spencer's expression softened. He walked over, his eyes filled with understanding, and gently took the sweater from the closet.

"Let me help," he said, his voice soft. He carefully lifted the sweater over your head, his fingers brushing against your skin as he guided your arms through the sleeves. The soft fabric enveloped you, and you felt a sense of comfort wash over you.

Spencer beamed at you, his eyes shining with happiness. "Better?" He adjusted the sweater, his hands gentle on your shoulders.

You nodded, feeling relief wash over you. "Much better." The sweater was a simple fix, but it was exactly what you needed. You felt grateful for Spencer, who always seemed to know how to make things better.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. "We'll get through this together, okay?" His voice was a gentle whisper, his breath warm against your ear. You nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over you. With Spencer by your side, you knew you could face anything.

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dede speaks ! :

I’m not sure I really like this 😭.

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #the bau #dr spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid imagine

[justlemmeadoreyou]

secret little rendevous-3*

Summary: The meeting with HR goes well (surprisingly). But, there's something else that'll break your heart soon, and Harry will be the one to crush it into pieces.

Words: 3k

Words: ANGST! ANGST! ANGST! There's a bit of smut too, but there's lot of fighting, swearing and degradation. and daddy kink.

(previous part here) | (series masterlist) | (main masterlist)

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Harry hadn’t always been so cold-hearted. He believed in true love and had always dreamed of finding his soulmate. But that all changed after one fateful night.

It was a regular Friday night and Harry was out with his friends at a local bar. He spotted a beautiful girl across the room and couldn't take his eyes off her. She was there with her friends, her short skirt riding up her legs everytime she moved on the dance floor.

Harry stared at her for long enough that one of her girlfriends approached him, saying it was a bachelorette party, and the girl he was eyeing was the bride.

Oh.

That should have stopped him from taking it any further, should’ve made him take his eyes off her, but he just couldn’t. He was mesmerized with the way she looked, the glow on her face, and with the tiara she had worn on her head, she looked like a goddess to him.

He mustered up the courage to approach her, when none of the other girls were nearby.

As the night went on, they grew closer and closer. They danced, they kissed, and before they knew it, they were back at Harry's place. They spent the whole night together, lost in each other's arms. It was magical.

At least for him.

It was a long night, full of kisses and making out and sex. The thought of her being engaged, and never being his was pushed into the back of his mind, and locked into a cage that he never intended to open.

So, the next morning, when she got up frantically, looking for her clothes through the house and stuffing them in a carry bag, pulling her dress on, Harry frowned.

“You’re-you’re leaving?” he asked, and she raised her eyebrows, suggesting how already obvious it was.

“Yeah, duh. What-do you expect me to stay?”

She brushed him off, and he picked his t-shirt from the floor, putting it on and sliding towards the edge of the bed, where she was getting dressed.

“Well-I-I-” she put her finger over his lips, shutting him up, “Shh, you know I’m engaged, right?”

“Well-”

“I know that you know I’m engaged. Marie told me as soon as she told you to back off. But I knew you would come for me, because well-” she finished dressing up, picking up the rest of her stuff, ready for the walk of shame.

“I could drive you home-”

“No, thanks”

Clearly, she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Last night was all she wanted, and it seemed like she regretted quite a lot.

“Okay, well-”

“Let me leave, Harry” she blurted out, and he closed his mouth, watching her go away.

Harry couldn't believe it. He had just spent the most amazing night with this girl, Natalia, and now she was leaving him. He watched as she walked away, her hair swaying with each step, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for her. He wanted to reach out and pull her back to him, to tell her to stay, but he knew he couldn't force her to do anything. So he just sat there, watching her disappear into the busy city streets.

For the next few days, Harry couldn't focus on anything else. He couldn't stop thinking about Natalia, replaying every moment they had shared together. He remembered the way her lips felt against his, the way her body fit perfectly into his, and the way she moaned his name in pleasure, as he made her cum multiple times. He couldn't shake off the feeling that she was the one for him, and he couldn't let her go without a fight.

So he did what any hopeless romantic would do, he tracked her down. He found out where she worked, and he waited for her outside her office. When she finally emerged, he approached her, determined to win her over.

“Hey,” he said, a nervous smile on his face. “I know this might seem crazy, but I can't stop thinking about you. I had the most amazing time with you the other night, and I just wanted to see you again.”

Natalia looked surprised to see him, but her face softened as she looked into his eyes. “Harry, I had a great time too, alright? But I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other again.”

Harry's heart sank at her words, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet. “Can I at least take you out for dinner? Just one more time?”

Natalia hesitated, but eventually gave in. “Okay, just one dinner. But that's it. I’m done then”

Harry grinned, feeling a sense of hope rising in his chest. He took her to a fancy restaurant, where they shared a delicious meal and talked for hours. As the night went on, they both felt a strong connection between them, and before they knew it, they were back at Harry's apartment, tangled in each other's arms once again.

But as the sun rose the next morning, reality came crashing down, once again. Natalia had a husband, and she couldn't keep seeing Harry behind his back. She tearfully explained that she had been going through a rough patch with her husband and had been seeking comfort in the arms of another man. She knew it was wrong, and she couldn't continue to hurt her husband like this.

Harry was devastated. He always knew she was engaged, and had gotten married. But he couldn't deny his feelings for her. So he made a promise to himself that he would wait for her, that he would be there for her when she was ready to leave her husband.

Months went by, and Harry couldn't forget about Natalia. He tried to move on, to date other women, but no one compared to her. He couldn't bring himself to fall in love with anyone else, because deep down, he still hoped that Natalia would come back to him.

One day, he received a call from her. She was crying and begging him to meet her. He rushed to her side, only to find her in a state of panic. Her husband had found out about her affair, and he was furious. He had threatened to break off their engagement if Natalia didn't end things with Harry.

Natalia was torn. She loved Harry, but she couldn't lose her fiancé and the life they had built together. She tearfully told Harry that she had to go back to her husband, but promised to never forget him.

Harry was heartbroken, but he understood. He knew that Natalia had to make a difficult choice, and he couldn't force her to choose him. So he let her go, but he never stopped waiting for her.

Years went by, and Harry never fell in love again. He lived his life, but a part of him always belonged to Natalia. He never forgot about her, and he never stopped hoping that one day, she would come back to him.

.    .     .

At first, the prospect of being called daddy in bed was not appealing in the slightest for Harry. The thought made him uncomfortable, and the kink was never fully understood. He always knew the girls who would call him daddy had daddy issues, and it wasn’t one to feed onto it.

But since the day you had called him daddy, even if it was just because you had been in subspace, he couldn’t shake the way his mind was filled up with it. Your trembling voice, tear-stained cheeks as you asked him to take care of you, vulnerable and exposed, it awakened something in him he didn’t know existed. 

He now wanted you to call him daddy again, but only when he was balls deep inside you, fucking you so good, you can’t even think straight, and the word should flow out of your mind mindlessly.

So, here you were, spread out in front of him, his cock buried deep in your soaked cunt. Your nails were scratching down his back, his cock hitting places that had your mind turning into mush.

The HR meeting had gone well. Olivia was dismissed, because she had no proof of whatever she was accusing you of. And since you were in different departments, they had no issue with it, as long as it didn’t affect your performances at work.

Well, it didn’t.

You didn’t tell Harry the whole story, because you knew Olivia would. After the meeting, you had tried to call him too, but his line was busy.

Of course.

Olivia would’ve called him before you.

So, you left a text, calling him to your house tonight to hook up.

He replied about 10 minutes later, saying that he was working overtime tonight and then he had a doctor’s appointment, so he couldn’t do it tonight. That seemed genuine, because month end was approaching, and the workload was heavy. You replied in affirmative, and waited for the next day, when you could see him.

And now, here you were.

It wasn’t planned for–no. You had called him that once before, and it slipped from your mouth without a second thought.

“Fuck, daddy please.”

Harry’s mind went back immediately, his hips halting and he looked into your eyes immediately, bringing his mouth back up from where it was buried in your neck, biting and creating marks. 

“Say it again.” He breathed out, his belly tightening in anticipation as his dark green irises stared down at you.

You blinked in response, not realizing that you’d just said the word in bed, even though you both didn’t like it. 

“Har–Harry, I swear–I didn’t mean to-.”

“Say. It. Again.” Harry demanded, his hand snaking its way to your throat, lightly applying pressure to the base of your neck. “I won’t ask again. Say it.”

“Daddy.” You moaned, the grip on your neck dizzying. Harry felt more precum ooze out of his cock, and into your tight cunt, his cock twitching as the name fell from your pretty, swollen lips.

“Fuck, that’sit.” Harry groaned, pulling out his cock completely, leaving you empty and clenching around nothing. You whined, and he shushed you, before ramming it back into you with such force it sucked the air from your lungs. “Say it one more time, baby girl.”

“D-daddy, please.” You repeated, growing more confident with using the term. You threw your head back into the pillow behind you, biting your bottom lip as his started fucking you once again.

“You want to cum?” he asked, teasing you. He knew you were close, the tight grip your pussy had on his cock, and the way you were clenching and squeezing him, gave it away.

“Yes, please” you nodded, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes, it felt so fucking good. 

“Daddy, I need to cum,” you moaned, your voice becoming more desperate with each passing second. You could feel the pressure building in your core, ready to explode at any moment.

“Say please” he urged, beginning to rub your swollen clit.

“Oh-fuck!Daddy-daddy please?”

“Good girl. Cum for me. Soak me, baby”

And that you did. Gushed around his cock, wetting his cock and balls as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. He came too, pulling out and emptying his load on your stomach.

“God-fuck! Shit-” he cursed as he came, and you couldn’t help but watch in awe as his head threw back, pink lips parting as he gave you all he got.

He laid down beside you, catching his breath. 

“You’re so good for me” he mumbled afterwards, wiping the sweat off your forehead and kissing your cheek softly.

He went to the bathroom, to clean himself up, and bring you some toilet paper to wash his cum off.

And it was maybe by some cruel twist of fate that you decided to open Olivia's message from last night, exactly at that moment.

And it's everything you were scared of happening.

It says "Guess who he chose" with a picture of Harry's back attached below. He is lying naked on her bed, and probably asleep.

And you know it's Harry, because you would recognise those curls everywhere, plus you can see the fading nail marks on his back that you gave him weeks ago.

What the fuck?

Mr.I-don’t-do-stayovers was sleeping in her bed just after you saved his ass from being fired hours ago.

Great. Just fucking great.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you were already getting up. You wiped yourself clean with a stray napkin he had kept on his chair, throwing it near the trash bin.

“What-what are you doing-did you clean it up? I brought this-”

“Where were you last night?” you asked, voice stern.

“What-why would you ask that?”

“Answer the damn question, Harold. Where were you last night?”

“I told you, I was working overtime and I–I had an appointment–”

“Save your lies, you bastard–I know you were with Olivia last night. You were fucking her, and then you slept on her too. What else did you do with her that you can’t do with me? Do you kiss her while you fuck her too? Or is it just my lips that give you blue balls?”

“I-” 

It was like he wasn’t even trying. He wasn’t even trying to tell you that he didn’t treat you like shit, that he treated Olivia the same way he treated you.

“Or have you committed to her? Became her “boyfriend”?”

“You know I don’t do that stupid stuff. And I didn’t sleep, okay? I left after a while”

“Shut up. Just-shut up, okay? Stop lying. She sent me the message at 2am. And I know you’re blind and you don’t drive in the dark.”

“Alright-fine! I stayed over at hers, but that was it, okay? There’s nothing more”

“And what is it with me, then? I’m too, just a couple of holes you fuck when you get bored with another? Hm?”

“It’s not like that, okay? She told me how you dragged her into HR for sleeping with me and how she saved my ass, my job, so I–I had to give her something in return”

“What the fuck? That bitch didn’t save your ass, okay? I did. Why do you think they’ll listen to her? I was the superior one. And she was the one who went to HR to rant and cry over us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah. You and me sleeping together.”

“But she told me–”

“Well, she’s a fucking liar.”

You fell back on the bed, your head throbbing from all of it. How could she lie like that? Apparently, it didn’t matter that she did, because you knew he would go after her again.

You got back up, staring at him with eyes full of anger.

“Tell  me, Harry, who is better? Me or her.”

“What?”

“Tell me, me or her? So I can take myself out of this fuck-up you have created and find someone else who isn’t afraid to commit to me, and who doesn’t treat me like shit”

You yelled and once you finished yelling, your eyes were brimming with tears.

But you won’t cry. Not in front of him.

“There’s no fucking competition, Y/N. I’m not “choosing: anybody”

“So just choose her, then. I bet she feels better than me, doesn’t she? She takes you better down her throat too? I guess that’s the way to get you to stay loyal.

“I’m not fucking loyal to her—”

“Why? Why aren’t you fucking loyal–”

“I-love someone,” he confessed.

Your eyes widened. Harry, the cold-hearted moron, who can’t even commit to sleeping with one woman, loved someone?

And then he told you the story of Natalia, the girl who discarded him like trash, and somehow, that gave him the right to do the same to other women.

“If she came back to you, would you still go back to her?” you asked him, voice still shaking and broken.

He stayed quiet, his gaze to the floor.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME, HARRY!” you yelled, and he flinched. He had never seen you like this. You were always sweet and soft and polite to him, even after he treated you like shit most of the time. 

He still didn’t say anything, and you knew the answer. He never even thought of something other than sex with anyone. His heart was already full for her, it always had been. He never even thought of you twice, and here you were, catching feelings for him.

“You’re so full of shit. She used you and threw you away like you were nothing. When you had given her everything she needed to stay. And the first chance she got, she went back to him. She doesn’t love you. When will you realize that?”

You got up, walking to him and standing right in front of him.

“Tell me” you demanded once again. 

His voice shook, raspy, indicating he had shed a few tears, “I don’t-don’t want to. I don’t want to realize that, okay? She still loves me. And I’ll wait for her. No matter how long it takes”

You looked up, trying to stop the tears from falling. Your heart was broken, and he didn’t even seem to realize what he had done to you.

“Do I matter to you, Harry?! Do I mean anything to you?”

Still no answer.

“Great. Just fucking great. I am the one who has been with you for the last 4 months, even if it is just for sex. I am the one who got you the promotion so you could pay your fucking bills. I am the one who fought with HR so we could both keep our jobs. All that’s nothing? I did that for nothing! And that bitch, who couldn’t even stay committed to her own fiance. Slept with you once and your stupid heart is made up for her–”

He shot his eyes up, his fists clenching beside him in anger.

“Don’t you dare say anything about her” 

He looked angry, eyes red and jaw clenched.

“Fine. I’ll leave, then” 

You announced, wearing your clothes in a haste. Picking up your phone, your keys, your toothbrush and your spare clothes that were lying on the chair.

You walked out the room, going straight for the door. You were turning the doorknob when you heard him, “And delete my number from you damn phone”

“I never saved it,” you replied.

And it’s after you reach home that you break down into tears. 

♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡

tell me if you like this! i wanted to end it here, but i know, it's too sad :(, and i know this isn't soo good! but read it, please, and tell me what you think! >.<

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[bg-brainrot]

To Be Known (Astarion x GN!Tav)

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Summary: Astarion reads a book and wonders what it means to be known.

Tags: Astarion's POV, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3 but pre-Cazador, Astarion is Bad at Feelings,

A/N: Disclaimer up top: I'm not abandoning any of my other fic! Promise! Just trying to get over a tough month and get back into the swing of things :'D

Also, based on the quote: “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is like being loved by God.” (disclaimer: I’m not religious, and I know this quote comes in a few different forms, but google told me about this version so I stuck to it.)

Word count: ~2.1k

“To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods,” Astarion reads aloud, to no one in particular.

A silence follows, wherein his mind repeats the words he’s just read, absorbing none of them. To be fully known and truly loved… The words don’t seem to stick. 

Finally deciding that the sentence isn’t worth his effort, he tosses the book onto his bedroll with a groan. “What rubbish.”

Outside of this author's haughty approach to prose, Astarion doesn’t particularly care to think too deeply about what it means to be loved– especially by any godsforsaken deities. 

He has only just come around to the idea of love, not that he’s said the word ‘love’ to you just yet. It felt too much, too heavy a word to carry considering all of the other burdens the two of you bore between you. But the idea of it? Well, he was warming up to it. And with every moment shared between you, he believes he may be warming up all the more.

But what does being known have to do with love? No, that concept has him pulling his brows together, getting up from his bedroll and putting distance between himself and the drivel that Gale had recommended to him.

That’s what I get for listening to the damned wizard’s tastes, he thinks, shaking his head slightly. Some philosophical prattle, just as verbose as he is.

But even as he stands, brushes himself off, shoves the book away to the furthest corner of his tent before he makes to leave, the question of being known never escapes him.

What does it even mean to be known? he wonders, now lost in thought as he emerges from his tent. How could anyone know me, after all I’ve been through… do I even know who I am anymore?

The idea hangs over him, trails him like a storm cloud as he begins stalking about the camp you’ve all set up in the outskirts of Rivington. He’s not sure where his feet are leading him other than away– away from the distasteful book, away from away from your knowing gaze, which would only pry his thoughts out of him.

Much to Astarion’s disappointment, the trail he takes doesn’t stop the winding path his thoughts have taken.

Have I ever been known? he wonders, vaguely registering the breeze in his hair and the distant sounds of running water as he travels further and further from camp.

Perhaps I was once upon a time, but I could hardly be expected to remember now, could I? The thought is bitter and unwelcome, though likely true. He brusquely swats a branch out of his way and continues into a bramble unrepentantly. Gods, how can he bring himself to care about something as trifling as nature when he’s quite busily lost in thought right now, thank-you-very-much.

Astarion releases a sigh as he finally fights his way into a copse of trees. Secluded, finally. 

Alone. 

With his thoughts.

Which won’t seem to quiet despite the soft chittering of small animals, nor the sickly sweet smell of flowers in the air.

Why are some pitiful poet’s ‘words of wisdom’ even bothering me? he thinks as he lowers himself onto the trunk of a fallen tree. What’s even the use in being known?

Astarion crosses his legs in front of him, watching with narrowed eyes as his boots press into the soft grass, crushing it easily. There is no use to being known, he decides as he presses harder with one foot and the grass is further flattened. To wish that is…

His foot twists down even more firmly.

Pathetic, Astarion thinks, lifting his boot back up to see his handiwork. The grass lies flat, thoroughly smashed by him. This world is simply about being the one who tramples, and not the one being trampled.

That thought oddly comforts him. He knows the push and pull of power well enough– this dynamic is second nature to him. Like an old, threadbare blanket, it wraps around his shoulders, providing no warmth, but plenty of familiar reassurance.

It’s moments later that the blanket is wrenched from him and he’s laid bare once more, under the startling sunlight of your attention.

“Astarion?”

Your voice pierces through his thoughts, and his instinctual answering emotions are new to him. Surprise. Elation. Relief.

The vampire had been utterly unprepared to hear your voice, convinced he’d found a spot away from you all. Convinced that you wouldn’t be here with your thoughtful gaze– not now, while he’s still busy sorting through a myriad of questions. But he still can’t deny the way he welcomes your presence. 

He suspects that your perceptive gaze can easily catch that, despite the way his shoulder’s tense and the way his head turns away, his ears still tilt back toward you, ready for your next words.

“Astarion, there you are,” you say. He hears the same emotions he feels in your voice. How odd it feels to be mirrored by you. He can’t deny enjoying that either. “What’s the matter? When I couldn’t find you around camp, I thought the worst might have happened."

The man scoffs, trying his best to sound unaffected by your sudden arrival, refusing to meet your inquiring gaze. “And what, pray tell, did you assume could have happened?”

“We’re practically at the Gate, Astarion. Anything could have happened. Need I remind you what happened to Dribbles?” you respond, voice tight with worry. 

Ah yes. The dead clown. “It will take more than a shapeshifter to take me out, darling,” he retorts, still refusing to turn toward you, now dutifully inspecting his nails.

You let out a small huff of disapproval. “And what about Cazador?”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Astarion replies, though the thought of being caught unawares by Cazador bristles at him. If he did get caught, it would be entirely Gale’s fault for lending him that book… He shakes his head of white curls and continues, “Besides, I barely got more than a few dozen yards away before you came chasing after me. I could hardly be in any real danger.”

When you sigh, he finally turns to face you. The expression you give him then isn’t frustration, nor anger– it’s an unusual mixture of worry and… joy? “I couldn’t help but chase. Would it be pathetic to say that I miss you when you’re gone for too long?” you respond.

He’s not sure he has an answer to that.

Especially when he feels pathetic for how light his undead heart feels at the statement.

Astarion drops his head, avoiding your gaze, and hoping you don’t catch the startled happiness on his face.

When it’s clear he doesn’t have a response for you, you change the subject as you close the distance between you, “So, what brought you out here?”

“Nothing,” he replies, too easily. You know it’s a lie. He knows that you know it.

“Nothing, eh?” you ask, finding a seat next to him on the fallen tree. “What about that nothing has you running into the woods?”

“I was not running,” he defends, with a click of his tongue. “I was taking a brisk stroll.”

“Fine then,” you relent, elbowing his arm gently. “What about it led to a ‘brisk stroll’?”

There’s no use hiding from them, is there? he thinks, leaning back on the trunk. “I’ll tell you,” he begins, staring out into a bush. “But only if you answer a question for me.”

“Anything,” you say, and he can feel your shrug on his arm.

“Who am I, really?”

You still. Astarion had expected no less. After all, it’s not an easy question to answer– even for him. He’s putting quite a lot of undue pressure onto you with the question, it’s selfish really… but he can’t help but want to be selfish around you.

So he lets the question settle into the silence.

When you finally speak, your voice is crisp in the muted sounds of the clearing. “Promise you won’t care for me any less after I answer you?”

Astarion snaps his head back at you, his mouth turning down in a frown. “Well that depends, my dear. What are you planning to say?”

“Promise?” you press.

As if he could care any less for you– he would have done so already if he could. “I promise,” he murmurs reluctantly. “Now, please, the suspense is really too much.”

“You are Astarion,” you start, reaching out for his hand. He cautiously places his in yours, unable to hide the twitch of a smile as your warm fingers lock with his. “You’re a beautiful, elven vampire, with silver hair, and red eyes. You’re talented, witty, and…”

Your voice trails off, and Astarion can’t help but wonder why you’d been so hesitant to answer. So far, he is loving this answer.

“And you’re an absolute arse at times.”

“Excuse me?” he gasps, moving to pull his hand out of yours.

You don’t release it, but you do continue, “You laugh at the misfortune of others, you steal, you lie, you cheat at games, you can be incredibly selfish.”

“Darling, are we certain you care about me after all this?” he grumbles, giving up on fighting your grip on him as your words wash over him. He knows all of this, of course, has been entirely unashamed of it all before… but it feels different when you say it. When you lay it out plainly before him.

“Yes,” you answer quickly, tugging on his hand gently. “Because all of that makes you you. And, personally, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

He blinks at you, confused on how you arrived at this conclusion.

“You are so unabashedly you, love. And I adore that. I know it might not feel like it after all you’ve been through… but you are still yourself. No one has been able to take that from you.”

Now Astarion stares at your intertwined hands, wondering if he deserves such impassioned, absurd words said in his defense. His voice comes quietly when he asks his next questions, “And how do I know that’s who I have always been? Who I was meant to be?”

You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a soft, warm kiss before you continue, “Astarion, I don’t know what might have bothered you, but I want you to know that, no matter what it was, you’re amazing as the man you are. Whoever you were, whoever you think you were meant to be, you should be proud of who you are now. And… once we deal with Cazador, I hope you have the chance to rediscover that man.”

Astarion hadn’t meant this to be some kind of journey of self-discovery– really, he’d only been irked by the needless philosophy of the book Gale had lent him. But, hearing you say those words, it feels as if some weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

Worry, he realizes. Of losing who he was, of course, but also of being utterly, desolately unknown. Naturally he needn’t have worried because here you are, ready and willing to understand him. To accept and care for him, even while knowing him, flaws and all.

Maybe being known wasn’t such a burden. Not if it were by you.

“Yes, well,” he begins, suddenly unsure what to say to your earnest words. “Thank you for that, I think. Though, really, I could have done without all of the barbs. It feels like I've been struck by psychic damage.” Astarion gives a dramatic head loll, averting his flustered face.

You laugh and squeeze his hand. “Well, it’s a good thing I have no clue how to deal psychic damage, but I’ll be sure to get Gale right over if you need a good jostle to the brain.”

Gale’s done enough of that, Astarion thinks. But he doesn’t say so to you. Instead, the man simply shakes his head. “I’m quite alright. Speaking of the rest of those fools, they’ve likely begun to burn the camp down without us. Shall we head back?”

While the trek to the clearing had been filled with spiraling thoughts and matters of the self, Astarion finds that the journey back is filled with far more soft touches and kisses– Not that he minds.

In fact, he thinks with a smile, as you both walk together, practically falling into each others’ arms. Maybe this was who I was meant to be all along.

That night, once he’s settled back into his tent for bed, Astarion reads the passage once more, “To be fully known and truly loved is as if you are loved by the gods.”

Astarion is certainly no closer to believing in the gods’ willingness or ability to love him, but he could hardly care. No, he suspects that he knows what a god’s love is– after all, if you truly love him, fangs, scars, and all… well, that may very well be divine.

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #rogue + rogue #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion fluff #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion is bad at feelings #astarion comfort #spawn astarion #astarion pov

[kurokens]

In The Night I Miss You | Satosugu

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru & geto suguru

words: 1.5k

pronouns: they/them

request: none

notes: sorry for the wait!!! but part 2 of In The Middle, my first satosugu piece, is finally here! a little bit more angsty this time and from satosugu's pov

not proof read

song rec: The Night I Miss You - Lee Changsub

genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slowburn, a little bit angsty, poly?

warnings: satosugu are in a loving relationship, misunderstanding, pinning, a lot of pinning on satosugu's end, reader is so oblivious, insecure and self conscious reader

Satoru and Suguru were quite the pair, always together since they can remember, as if fate created them for each other. Two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. They knew that, hell, everyone around them and their mother knew that. And yet, they both felt like something was missing, they spent years happily loving each others, and they never stopped, but they couldn't help but feel some kind of longing for something more.

At first it drove them crazy, how could they feel like that when they already had everything they ever dreamed of? They're both each others soulmate, and yet it's not enough, not anymore, not since they met you. You came and wrecked their perfect little world. You and your stupid smile, you and your stupid laugh, you and your stupid kindness, you and your stupid gentleness, just you and your stupid self. It was such a hard time for them to accept these feelings, especially with the growing guilt towards each others, clueless about the other similar torment. Until one day, the cat got out of the bag. "Say sugu..." The white-haired man started softly, a gentle hum coming back from his lover. "Are you satisfied? I mean, with us? Our couple?"

"Why? Yes, of course. Is something the matter? Have I done anything to make you think otherwise?" Suguru exhaled through a trembling breath.

"No, god no. It's just, god, how do I say this without sounding selfish. Have you ever felt like something was missing?" Satoru breathed out, closing his eyes in shame.

"You mean, like someone?" The black-haired man whispered shakily causin Gojo to spring up from his previous position, biwildered eyes meeting the ones he was ashamed to look at earlier.

"I didn't, I didn't say that, I mean not exactly, but, but maybe? Do you?" He murmured, a glint of hope in his orbs.

"Do you?" Suguru asked, just as hopeful.

"Yes, god, yes. I'm so sorry Sugu, I love you, I do, I promise. Like I've never loved anyone, but lately I've felt this way and I don't know why, and I didn't know how to tell you. Please tell me you do too. I can see it in your eyes, you do too right?" Satoru begged, his hands now clamped on the sheets below him.

"Yes, I do. God I was so scared to tell you, I'm so glad you feel it too. Oh, I'm so glad." Geto let out, his breathing calming down as well as his nerves. "You're thinking about someone in particular are you not?" He continued, reaching out to take Gojo's hands in his, easing down his stress.

"Yes..." He answered, tightening his grip around Geto's hands. "Do you?" Only receiving a nod along with the brightest smile he's ever seen his lover give him. "It's them, right?" Another nod came his way, just as he was pulled into a hug. "I'm so glad you feel the same. I was so scared. I thought I would lose you if I said anything, I don't want to lose you." He sobbed, finally letting out all the repressed feelings he's been having for the past couple of days.

Suguru stayed quiet, nuzzling his head into his lover's neck, grateful for the conversation, but also for the fact that they both felt the same. Of course the universe wouldn't betray them like that. They were soulmates, and it was destiny for both of them to fall for you, and maybe it was how it was always meant to be, not just them, but the three of you. And Suguru was more than content with this idea, he wished nothing more but to be able to share this overwhelming love with you as well. But he knew it would take time, it's not something they could act on just like that. They needed to proceed slowly, they didn't want to scare you, let alone lose you. Hell, losing you would shatter them, they could handle rejection just fine, but not having you in their life anymore just wasn't possible.

That's why Suguru had to physically stop Satoru from screwing this up. It was quite hard for the white-haired man child to refrain himself from acting on his desire to confess to you, and make you theirs. Since you lived with them, seeing you everyday and not being able to love you like he truly did, was the worst hardship he ever had to face. He wasn't used to not getting what he wanted, so having to wait for you to be theirs was proper torture. Don't get him wrong, it was also very hard for Suguru, but he knew they had to do this properly, and one of them had to be strong, because Satoru sure wasn't going to be. And because of that they would regularly have the same conversation in their room late at night, or early in the morning because it's when they were yearning for you the most. In the comfort of their bed.

"I dont know for how much longer I can do this Sugu..." Satoru sighed, burying his head in his lover's chest, muffling his next words. "They're so pretty, and so nice, and so caring, I love them so much. I would give anything to crush them between us right now."

"Me neither love, but there is nothing much we can do about it.They live with us." His black haired lover replied, laughing at his antics.

"I know, ugh I know, but it's getting so much harder everyday. Seeing them is becoming unbearable. I can't stand it anymore, we need to do something." He went on, on the verge of throwing a tantrum because of how much he yearned for you.

"Shh, I know, I feel the same. But we can't just drop this on them all of the sudden and expect it to go well." The oldest reasoned. "We will get there, we just need to take things slow Toru, we can't rush them into something like that."

And he was right, Satoru knew he was right, but it's been weeks and nothing changed. They tried being more affectionate towards you, complimenting you, being a little bit touchier and clingier without crossing any boundaries. Hell, they were looking at you so lovingly you could compare them to teenage boys going through their first ever crush. And yet, nothing changed, you were so clueless, it was driving them insane, but at the same time it was so endearing how oblivious you were to their adoration.

Everyone around you three noticed it, but you. It was quite amusing for your friends, but it was proper torture to them. And Satoru was growing reckless, he could'nt look at you in the eyes anymore, scared he will do something on impulse and regret it later because it could jeopardise your relationship, and your potential future together. Suguru wasn't much better to be fair, he could still look at you, but it was getting harder, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to you that wasn't a heartfelt confession about their undying love for you, and his need to make you part of their life. So they decided to ton it down a bit, grow some distance between you, just the time for them to get themselves together, and to elaborate the perfect plan to confess to you properly without forcing you into anything. Yes, that was a good plan, or so they thought. Not once have they ever imagined this plan of action could backfire. Because why would it? It was the perfect plan!! Just until it wasn't.

After some time of putting distance between you, (literally a single day, Satoru couldn't more), the couple deciding to put their plan back into action but with a bit more hints being thrown into it. But, unfortunately for them, when they came back from work, the house was oddly silent, not a trace of you to be seen. "Sweetcheek?" Satoru called, walking towards your room, only to be met by complete silence. "Hey gorgeous, you in there?" He knocked, but once again silence was his only answer. So he opened the door, to see if maybe you were sleeping, but you weren't. Your bed was made, but something was off. Your room was clean but it felt like something was missing.

"Sugu, come here real quick." He urged, and Suguru footsteps were quickly heard. "Something isn't right."

They both stood at the entrance of your room, analysing everything, trying to find what was amiss, this odd feeling growing stronger and stronger. And then they spot it, a letter neatly placed on your desk, which read:

'The walls are thins here you know. Anyway don't worry I'll be out of your space soon. Sorry about the stuff I've left there, it's just for the time it takes for me to look for a new place and then I will give you back your much needed space. Thank you for letting me stay this long, and sorry for the trouble I've caused.'

The couple grew livid. Their worst fear became reality, and they didn't know how to fix it, but they knew they had to. And the sooner, the better.

#saturn's writing #satosugu x reader #satosugu x you #satosugu poly #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #gojo satoru x geto suguru x reader

[scoonsalicious]

6.2 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, toxic plants being manipulative and toxic.

Word Count: Bucky done fucked up.

Previously On...: 2.5k

A/N: Please note: I will be taking a one week break from posting starting on Thursday, May 16th, to focus on writing. I will resume posting on Thursday, May 23rd.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

He was on his way! 

After disconnecting from her call with Bucky, Lily bent down to her front driver’s side tire and, using her car key, pried out the nail she’d run over to ensure it would go flat while she ran the trail. Walking to the edge of the parking lot, she hurled the nail into the woods, getting rid of any evidence that she’d manufactured the current predicament she “accidentally” found herself in.

It didn’t matter if Bucky hadn’t come home from his date last night. Hadn’t told her that he’d even been on a date to begin with. What mattered was that, when Lily had called, Bucky had left the bitch behind and had come running. To her.

And that meant something. 

Right?

Bucky could go out with some slut if he wanted to, but when Lily had needed him, Bucky had dropped everything to be there for her, and that knowledge made Lily’s insides glow with warmth. She was still his number one girl; she shouldn’t have let herself get worked up over one date that probably didn’t mean anything. Bucky had dated before, and Lily had made sure none of them stuck around for very long. This time wouldn’t be any different.

So, Lily waited. She checked her email, she played some games on her phone, she listened to a podcast. Finally, a little over an hour after she’d hung up with Bucky, she saw one of Tony’s sportscars speed into the parking lot and make its way to the trailhead.

Her heart sank at the thought of Bucky sending Tony Stark to help her in his stead, so it was quite a shock to her system when the car pulled up next to hers, turned its engine off, and Bucky himself stepped out. He wasn’t wearing his usual tshirt and jeans, no– he was wearing a rumpled burgundy button-up, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the first couple of buttons left undone at his neck, and a pair of fitted, black trousers. 

Lily swallowed. His hair was a mess, but she could imagine how put together he must have looked the night before, and that made her stomach twist. He’d made an effort. He’d made a real, genuine effort to dress up for this date that he lied to her about.

“Hey, Lil,” he said, once she got out of her car to meet him. He smiled, but she’d known him long enough to be able to tell when his smiles weren’t genuine, and this one didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, Jamie,” she said, offering him a fake smile  of her own to hide her distress. “Thank you so much for coming out. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“I’m sure Steve or Sam or anyone from the Compound would have been more than willing to help you out, Lil,” Bucky said as he walked to the back of her car. “Could you pop the trunk for me so I can get your jack and the spare?”

Lily bent her head back inside to unlock the trunk, rolling her eyes as she did so. If she’d wanted someone else to change her tire, she’d have just done it herself. Or, you know, not popped her own tire to begin with. But that was beside the point.

She walked around to the back of the car so she could help Bucky move things around in her trunk to get to her spare. “You’re dressed awfully fancy for a Sunday morning,” she said, watching him out of the side of her eye. “You find God and suddenly decide to start going to church?”

Bucky chuckled. “Something like that,” he said. Lily stole a glance in his direction and caught him smiling softly to himself as he pulled her spare out from the trunk with his vibranium hand. Taking her car jack in the other, he moved around to the driver’s side and began loosening the lug nuts with his left hand. Lily shivered when she considered how strong he was, how much power that one hand contained.

Once all the nuts were loosened, he slid the jack under the frame of the car and began raising it. He was annoyingly efficient at this, Lily thought, and she realized her window of time with him wasn’t as big as she had originally anticipated.

“So, where were you when I called this morning, really?” she asked, leaning up against the side of Tony’s car as she watched him work. She just wanted him to be honest with her. She didn’t think she could take it if he continued to lie.

Bucky stilled in his motions. “I… I, uh, had a date,” he said after a moment.

Lily paused, playing confused. “A date on a Sunday morning?” she asked him. “That’s a really weird—oh.” Bucky left the car suspended on the jack and turned to face her, hands shoved into his pockets, and the guilt in his eyes nearly palpable. 

Good, Lily thought. Let him be guilty, now that he realizes I know he lied to me. “I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone, Jamie,” she said, voice deliberately meek and soft. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Bucky sighed and leaned back against her car. “It’s new,” he said. “Like, really new.”

Good, she thought. This hasn’t been going on for a long time. There was still a good chance she could nip it in the bud before it grew into a real problem. “So, when you said you were out with Sam last night…” She left it hanging in the air. Let him be the one to say the word.

“I lied to you,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Why, Jamie?” she asked him. “I didn’t think we lied to one another.” She thought about the hole she’d punched in her own tire. Well, she didn’t think he lied to her.

“We don’t, Lil,” he said. “I just… It seems like whenever I start seeing someone new, you just…” he paused to consider his words, and Lily started to get nervous. Did he know… did he suspect the things she’d done in the past to keep other girls away from him? He couldn’t. She’d been so careful… “You just form a lot of opinions on them, really quickly,” he said, and she released a breath. He didn’t know anything. She was safe. “I wanted to get to know this girl on my own, without any outside influences, before I decided to find out what everyone else thought about her.”

“I only tell you what I think because I care about you, Jamie,” Lily protested in her gentlest voice. She was going to have to walk a very delicate line here, between stressing her point and sounding sympathetic. “I’m just trying to look out for you, that’s all.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I know you are, and I do appreciate it, but… I want to be able to figure out how I feel about this one before I start soliciting opinions about her from everyone else. Does that make sense?”

It did. Fuck, it did. Usually, Bucky was so eager to talk about the new girls he was dating, to introduce him to his best friends and find out what they thought about her, to get their opinions. If he was reticent this time, it could only mean one, horrible thing:

“You really like this girl, don’t you, Jamie?” Lily asked, trying so hard to keep her voice light, when inside, she felt like she was dying.

Bucky looked up at her. “Yeah, Lil,” he said, his dazzling white smile beaming at her and making her heart stop. “I really do.”

“That’s great,” Lily choked out. She turned back to the trunk of her car, pretending to busy herself with its contents so she didn’t have to look at him. “That’s really great.”

She heard Bucky move around and start working on the tire again. “Not really,” he said, his voice sounding dejected. Lily moved her head around from the back of the trunk to look at him. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, a spark of hope coming to life in her chest. 

Bucky let out a long sigh. “I think I might have blown it with her,” he said as he worked to take the flat tire off of her car. 

“Oh no,” Lily said, trying to keep the smile out of her voice. Maybe she wouldn’t have to do anything, afterall. Maybe Bucky had managed to fuck it up on his own. “What happened?”

Bucky was silent for a moment as he replaced the tire with ease. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said eventually. “Let’s just say that we left things very… ambiguously. I asked her if I could call her later, she didn’t really give me an answer either way. Just kind of shrugged. If she wanted me to call her, she would have just said so, right?”

Lily felt her stomach do a happy flip, but she put on a fake pout. “Oh, Jamie,” she said, fake sympathy oozing over her words, “please don’t tell me she’s playing mind games like that with you already! If a girl wants you to call her, she’ll tell you to call her, not play hard to get.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Bucky said defensively as he began re-tightening the lugnuts on the tire. “I just… I did something she didn’t like, is all. And she’s probably rightly pissed about it.”

Lily walked around the car to stand next to him as he finished up. “I don’t think I like this, Jamie,” she said cautiously. “You’ve barely started dating this girl, and already she thinks she can dictate your actions? That doesn’t seem healthy to me, at all.”

Bucky stood, running a hand across his face. “Nah, Lil– you’re… you’re getting it twisted. I made a mistake. I know I did, and she’s got every right to be mad at me about it. I need to talk to her, to sort it out.” Lily was losing ground; thankfully, she’d come prepared.

“Listen, Jamie,” she said, abruptly changing the topic in the hopes of getting his mind off this mysterious skank, “I was planning on having lunch up here today, since it’s so gorgeous out. I probably overdid it when I packed my food. Do you want to join me?”

Bucky heaved a sigh and looked like he was about to decline.

“Consider it my way of saying ‘thank you’ for you coming all the way out here to rescue me,” she added, knowing that she was laying it on thick, but not wanting him to walk away. “Come on, we’ll make a picnic of it. It’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, alright,” Bucky said, letting a smile cross his face. “I could eat.”

Bucky Barnes always did have a soft spot for a damsel in distress. With a grin, Lily opened the backseat of her car and pulled out the cooler she’d preemptively packed in the hope that just such an opportunity would arise. Lily was nothing if not prepared. 

Bucky reached for it. “Here, let me,” he said, taking it from her. Lily smiled to herself as she reached back into the car to pull out the picnic blanket she’d packed. 

“Such a gentleman,” she said as she closed the car door and led Bucky down one of the trails. It was a gorgeous late-summer day, and Lily could almost convince herself they were on a real date together. Almost. God, what she wouldn’t give for this to be the real thing. 

After they’d walked for about fifteen minutes, Lily veered left off of the trail and into the woods. “You bringing me back here to kill me?” Bucky asked in a playful tone as he followed her with the cooler.

“Yup,” Lily teased right back. “I definitely have faith in my ability to take out a super soldier on my own.” Her heart swelled when she was rewarded with an amused chuckle from Bucky. 

Soon, they reached her destination: a cozy clearing that sat along the bank of a creek that ran through the park, with a small waterfall that fed a crystal clear pool below.

“This is nice,” Bucky said, coming up behind Lily as she fanned out the blanket. “How’d you find this spot?”

Lily sat down and reached to take the cooler from Bucky, beckoning him to join her. “I was scouting some potential off-trail runs for the recruits and just kind of stumbled upon it,” she told him. She opened up the cooler and began taking out the food she’d brought– all of Bucky’s favorites.

Bucky nodded, then looked at the spread with wide eyes. “You packed all of this for yourself, Lil?”

Lily felt a slight blush creep up her cheeks– she had not, in fact, packed it all for herself, but specifically in the hope that he would end up joining her, though he could never know that. “I guess I just overestimated how hungry I’d be after my run,” she told him as she handed him a bottle of water. “Thanks for joining me so that all this food doesn’t go to waste.”

“No problem,” he said as he began to tear into the food she’d brought. “Thanks for getting a flat tire, I guess,” he added with a laugh.

They ate amicably, making small talk about their upcoming plans for the week, and how Lily’s latest batch of recruits looked. Lily was itching to ask Bucky more about his mystery date, to find out who she was, if she was someone Lily knew; but she didn’t want to bring it up– the less Bucky talked about her, the more likely he was to just forget about her all together, right? Especially if he’d done something to piss her off. Better to keep him distracted so that the window of opportunity for any reconciliation closed without him noticing it.

Soon, the food was gone, the sun high in the sky. Lily and Bucky both lay back on the picnic blanket, staring lazily up into the blue sky. “We should do something today,” Lily suggested, trying not to sound too eager.

Bucky chuckled. “Aren’t we doing something now, Lil?” he asked.

She playfully shoved his shoulder. “Later, I mean. Like, we’re having a good time; we should continue it. Go somewhere nice for dinner, do something after, like go to a club or see a show or something. Make a whole ‘friend-date’ night out of it!” Anything, she thought to herself. I’ll do anything, as long as I’m doing it with you. And who knew what could happen in the right romantic setting?

“Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun,” Bucky mused. “Sure.”

“Really?” Lily couldn’t believe her luck. “Leave all the planning to me, then!” She’d make sure she got a table at the most romantic restaurant she could find, and get them tickets to something steamy that would put Bucky in the right mood… She knew just what dress to wear, to show just enough skin to be tantalizing…

Yes, tonight, things were going to change. Lily could feel it.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

[7s3ven]

ATHENA'S GIRL. luke (pjo) - pt 3

trailer > part 1 > part 2 > part 3

( master list )

IN WHICH... Luke has to finally acknowledge his growing fondness for Y/N while she does the opposite and pushes her feelings down in order to fit her mother’s expectations.

"Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you. I see you changing from how I've designed you. Have you forgotten your purpose?"

Warnings : Y/N swears a lot

—

Y/N was the talk of the town after Athena oh-so dramatically claimed her. She didn’t even have to spend a single hour in the rowdy Hermes cabin.

The H/C-haired girl turned her head, looking around at her surroundings. Her heart almost did a leap of joy when her gaze landed in the rows of books that seemed to fill the cabin up to its capacity.

“Excuse me, which bed should I take- Oh. Okay. You’re walking away. Yeah, just act like you don’t hear me. It’s fine.” Y/N watched as the young girl brushed past her without a single word, ignoring her question. Judging by the state of some of the beds, Y/N assumed the neater mattresses were the ones available.

She set her things down on the squeaky floorboards, sighing. She didn’t have much with her; only a novel and some spare change as well as her school textbooks. It looked like she wouldn’t be needing this anymore.

Y/N sat in the edge of the mattress, pressing her lips into a thin line when she felt a spring break. “Man, I hate it here already.”

Y/N felt even lonelier at meals. None of her so-called siblings wanted to associate themselves with her. She could feel their envious stares on her as they constantly whispered how they could’ve easily solved a murder case. Finally, Y/N had enough.

She placed her silverware done, tensely smiling while clasping her hands together. “Are you guys familiar with Nabokov’s work?” She piped up, catching the attention of everybody at the rickety wooden table. They each turned to each other, confused.

“He’s like… a German poet, right?” A boy replied, furrowing his eyebrows together as if Y/N’s inquiry were stupid.

She shook her head. He was the stupid one. “I found a clue in one of his books. And the nationality of the writer helped quite a bit in unpacking it. But none of you seem to know Nabokov so I doubt you could’ve solved the mystery. I solved a crime in under an hour, slayed a dragon, and easily killed a happy. What have you guys done? Made friendship bracelets?”

One of the kids hid their untidily made bracelet, thickly gulping as if he was self-conscious.

Y/N was about to turn back to her food before someone else spoke up. “Vladimir Nabokov was a Russian author, best known for his work Lolita. Or rather, infamously known because it’s quite a controversial piece.”

Y/N’s eyes flickered to the kid with pretty brown eyes and long, braided hair. “Three movie adaptations were made, all of them equally hated to no one’s surprise.” The younger girl added, causing Y/N to smile.

She stabbed a string bean as she shrugged, “It’s always the Russians pulling some sort of weird crap.”

“Language.” Another teenager uttered. Y/N turned her head to stare at the boy, unimpressed. She raised her brows in an almost pocking sort of way.

“Fuck… off.” Y/N tauntingly smiled, causing Annabeth to lightly snort. “Don’t you guys fight monsters? I’m sure you can take a bit of swearing. Can't you?" She leaned forward, "Listen here, you little bitch. I dealt with Castellan's shit for months. You think I can't take you and your stupid ass now?"

"Colorful language you've got there, writer. As always. You gonna use it in your next global article?" Luke placed a heavy hand on Y/N's shoulder as he quietly chuckled. "Hey, Akut," The Hermes boy turned his attention to the teenage boy, "I wouldn't mess with this one. She's fierce. And she was best friends with Clarisse for a while."

A flash of fear crossed Akut's face at Clarisse’s name. “I was only teasing. Jeez.” He grumbled to himself, shrinking back. “She doesn’t have to be such a whiny bitch about it.”

Luke clicked his tongue, knowing exactly what was coming next.

“A whiny bitch? Oh, I’ll give you a whiny bitch, punk!” Y/N grabbed her plate that still had a decent amount of food on it and slammed it into Akut’s face. “How’s that, huh?!”

“She could be Ares’ kid with that anger.” Chris whispered to Luke.

“She’s probably still adjusting to camp… you know how it is.” Luke’s gaze stayed glued on Y/N as she whacked Akut across the place with a goblet. His eyebrows raised in partial surprise but he did nothing to stop her. Akut was asking for it anyway.

Luke felt Annabeth tug on his sleeve and he slightly leaned down to listen to her over all the shouting because some other Athena kids were trying to pull Y/N off Akut. “I like her.” Annabeth murmured, “She reminds me of Thalia… a little bit. Thalia never had such strong rage, though.”

Luke chuckled under his breath as he ruffled the young girl’s hair. “Guess it’s time to finally stop this before she ends up killing poor Akut.” Luke grasped the back of Y/N’s orange shirt, pulling her back. “Chiron and Mr D are gonna have a mean jab at you, writer.”

Y/N merely scoffed as she wiped away the blood smeared across her chin. Akut had blindly punched in her direction and landed a lucky shot. “He deserved it.” She muttered, eyes flickering to Akut’s bruised face.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get you cleaned up before Chiron whoops your ass. You, get Akut some nectar.” Luke sternly pointed at a nearby Ares kid before he dragged Y/N towards the infirmary. He had patched up Annabeth enough to know what he was doing.

Y/N was silent as Luke wiped her lip with a towel soaked in alcohol. She quietly winced but that was the only noise she made. Luke gently dabbed the cloth against her split skin, being mindful of how hard he pressed.

“What? Not gonna snap at me this time? I’m waiting for you to tell me that I’m holding the towel wrong.” Luke joked but Y/N simply shrugged and let him continue.

Luke’s gaze raked over her suddenly soft and deer-like features. In this moment, she almost seemed peaceful. He had seen many different versions of Y/N. The stressed one, the annoyed one, and the bloodied one. But never calm version until now. Without the biting remarks and sharp tongue, Luke couldn’t deny that she was beautiful.

He heard Y/N clear her throat. She raised her brows, as if questioning why his actions suddenly halted. “Y/N… you’re pretty. Did you know that?” He found himself accidentally whispering his thoughts but the look of shock swirling around in Y/N’s eyes made it worth it. Her eyes softened slightly before she looked away.

“Are you just gonna stand there like an idiot, Castellan?” She asked, glancing at him again.

“You’re just too good-looking, writer.” Luke teasingly uttered before going back to cleaning Y/N’s small injury. “You better behave yourself after this, though. Chiron will end up punishing you for attacking Akut, even if he started it with words.”

“He just got on my nerves. Everybody does. They all whisper and say they could easily do the stuff I did, knowing fully well they probably couldn’t.” Y/N’s lips curled into a scowl, “I just got ripped away from my life, from my school, and probably from my dream of attending Harvard. How did you think I’d react?”

“To be honest, I thought you’d be less violent. Must’ve been all your pent up rage.”

Y/N’s angry eyes turned to Luke and for a moment, he was scared she’d attack him. But they softened and suddenly, Luke was aware of how close they were. He could easily lean down and kiss her.

The duo were interrupted when Annabeth walked through the open door. She took in Luke’s wistful expression and Y/N’s slightly flushed cheeks but didn’t comment on it.

“I thought I’d come and introduce myself.” She uttered, “I’m Annabeth. You’re pretty good at fighting, did you know that?”

“The orphanage was run by a strange woman… she taught us how to fight and all sorts of crazy things.” Y/N clicked her tongue.

“Well, anyway, I think what you did was your quest was impressive. Rarely any newbies can say they slaughtered a monster, let alone two.”

Y/N lightly smiled at the young girl. “Thank you.”

Luke pouted, poking Y/N’s shoulder. “How come you aren’t this nice to me, writer?”

“Because you’re an idiot, Castellan. And you merely existing annoys me.” She sent Luke a pointed look while Annabeth muffled a snicker. “Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Y/N hopped off the bed, “I’m going to finish Akut or whatever his stupid, hideous name is.” She walked out of the infirmary before Luke could grab her.

“Are you going to stop her?” Annabeth questioned, raising her eyebrows.

“… Nah, I kind of what to see how this ends.”

It did not end good. Akut ended up needing stitches and Y/N was dragged into Chiron’s office while Mr D and a few Ares kids betted on who would win in a fight; Y/N or a random Aphrodite girl. The answer was obvious.

Y/N lay in her bed, half asleep yet half conscious. She rolled over, hitting her forehead on the wall next to her but she didn’t bother to open her eyes.

She wasn’t sure when she ended up in a temple made entirely out of white marble with pink veins running through the slabs of stone. Fluffy clouds floated around and Y/N waved them aside to see who the two figures standing in the distance were. She instantly recognised Athena but the short woman with beautiful locks of curly blond hair standing next her was unfamiliar.

“Mom?” Y/N carefully called out, causing Athena’s head to turn.

“Back so soon, my dear?” She asked in that calming, silky voice.

“Where are we?” Y/N questioned, furrowing her eyebrows. Athena didn’t get the chance to reply because her companion, whose blond hair was now brown and pale skin tanned, answered for her.

“You’re in my temple, of course!” She joyfully clasped her hands together while Athena kept her calm composure.

“It seems you are unfamiliar with the goddess of love, my dear.”

Everything seemed to click in Y/N’s mind. “Aphrodite.” She breathed.

“That’s why she’s your daughter and not mine, even with how pretty she is.” Aphrodite let out a giggle, gracefully grinning and showing off her pearly white teeth. In the beautiful goddess’ presence, Y/N felt inferior.

“Um… if it’s not crossing a boundary, I’d like to ask why I’m here.” Y/N piped up as she stepped closer to the deity duo. “Every time I fall asleep, I end up in different places.”

“Something seems to be troubling you. Oh, is it love problems? Because I can solve anything!” Aphrodite, as gleeful as ever, beckoned Y/N forward. “It’s that Hermes boy, isn’t it! Aw, I knew you two would end up in a thrilling and cute romance!” Aphrodite jumped around as she gushed over what Y/N and Luke could possibly become.

Y/N stole a small glance at her mother only to flinch at Athena’s furious facial expression. “Aphrodite, some privacy please.” Athena uttered, lifting a hand that seemed to hush the goddess of love.

“Oh…” Aphrodite seemed to hesitate before she nodded, “Of course.” Her body faded away into a mass of pink glitter and Y/N was left alone with her mother.

“So, you and this Hermes boy?” Athena quirked an eyebrow which made Y/N shrink back.

“We’re nothing, mother. I don’t even like him that much. To be honest, he’s annoying and he talks too much.”

Yet, Athena was not convinced. “I have created a clear pathway for you, my dear. Annabeth is a bright girl but I want you to be my star pupil. However, if you choose not to follow in my footsteps, then you will merely be only another disappointment.”

Y/N stiffened. Failure was her worst fear, whether it be within a school exam or being unable to meet someone’s expectations. She had never failed and she was not about to start now. With reluctance, she turned to Athena. “What do I have to do?”

Y/N quickly opened her eyes, quietly panting. She found herself back in the cabin and a sigh of relief slipped past her lips. She lay awake in her bed for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. She could hear light snores coming from her siblings and while the crackling sound of fire was supposed to calm her nerves, it didn’t. Eventually, Y/N rose.

She made an effort to keep quiet as she slipped past the cabin’s front door and into the chilly night air.

“Can’t sleep, huh?”

Y/N almost let out a loud shriek when she turned around only to almost crash into a certain Hermes boy. He had oh-so coincidentally been standing on the Athena’s cabin porch.

“What are you doing here?” She quietly hissed, on edge from both her dream and seeing the very boy her mother despised.

“I had a feeling you couldn’t sleep. The first few days are always the worst. You’re homesick and you’re also stuck with the realisation that you probably won’t ever go back.” Luke’s grin was visibly in the dim light coming from his lantern. “If I’m being honest, I was just on patrol duty and you happened to step out while I passed by.”

Y/N fidgeted with her fingers as she slowly sat down on the squeaky porch, wincing as it creaked. “What was the first night like for you?” She slowly questioned, staring up at Luke.

He shrugged. “Hard. I missed my mom and my friends and, well, Thalia.”

Y/N tilted her head to the side at the mentioning of Thalia’s name. “Who’s that?”

Luke paused before he glancing over at the lonesome tree on the hill. “This is going to sound stupid to you but she’s that tree. She was my friend while I was on the run from monsters. We then found Annabeth. Our satyr guide led us here but we were being chased by monsters. Thalia fought some of them off but there were too many… she would’ve died if it were for her father, Zeus, saving her.”

“He turned her into a fucking tree.” Y/N deadpanned.

Luke quietly groaned, “That’s the same ready Percy had as well. Why did the king of the gods turn his daughter into a tree of all things to save her life? I don’t know. I ain’t Zeus. Yeah, a tree is stupid but hey, at least she’s not dead.” Luke sarcastically smiled while Y/N remained unamused.

“I would rather die than become a tree.” She replied, “Imagine all your leaves falling during winter. You’re basically bald then.”

“If you were a tree, I’d cut you down.” Luke snapped back before he could still himself.

“So, Thalia. Tell me more about her.” Y/N abruptly switched topics.

“She was a little fiery and prideful but that’s expected of Zeus’ daughter. To be honest, she was a little bit like you. She seemed to have a soft spot for Annabeth. I think she preferred Annabeth over me.”

“Wow, what a shocker. I prefer Annabeth too.”

“I was young back then but I’m pretty sure I had a crush on Thalia. She could get me to do anything with one look.” Luke slowly trailed off while Y/N bit the inside of her cheek. Her heart felt unexpectedly heavy and for a moment, she thought she was sick.

“I should go to bed now. I’m feeling tired.” She stood up, stretching her stiff limbs. “See you later, Castellan.” Y/N walked back into her cabin before Luke could reply. He watched her disappear, leaving him standing alone in front of the porch.

He sighed. “Good night to you too, writer.”

Y/N was in the bathroom, washing her face tired face, when somebody else entered. They awkwardly stood behind her for a few moments before clearing their throat.

Y/N opened her eyes and wiped away the beads of water that dripped down her chin.

“You did some mean damage on Akut.”

In the mirror’s reflection, Y/N could see a pretty Ares girl with long, curled hair and a camp t-shirt a size too big. She was shorter than Y/N, not by much, but the H/C-nette still had to look down.

Clarisse had changed a lot but Y/N could still recognise that familiar glimmer in her old friend’s eyes.

“So this is where you disappeared off to?” Y/N questioned as Clarisse stepped closer. The brunette was now standing beside Y/N, leaning against the sink next to her with her arms folded over her chest.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” Clarisse uttered, her gaze looking Y/N up and down, “You’ve grown… a lot.”

“So have you, Clari. You look good.”

“You look better. You might turn me lesbian. It’s a shame you like Luke.”

Y/N paused and furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t like Luke.” She said, but it was mainly to reassure herself. She heard Clarisse laugh.

“He’s all you look at. For a daughter of Athena, you aren’t too smart on this topic.”

Y/N remained stone-faced as she calmly turned to look at Clarisse. “I don’t like him.” She repeated, this time firmer.

Clarisse hummed as if she wasn’t convinced. “He’s always looking at you, by the way. You being claimed means he sees you less and I think he misses you. But you shouldn’t care. You don’t like him.” She teasingly smiled as she applied a heavy layer of gloss onto her lips.

Y/N said nothing as she looked away, splashing another handful of cold water onto her face.

“You probably remind him of Thalia. Headstrong and stubborn.”

Y/N let Clarisse’s words sink in before she opened her mouth. “I’m not Thalia.” She quietly muttered. “I remind Luke of Thalia. I remind Annabeth of Thalia. But I’m not her. My identity is not tied to Zeus’ half-blood daughter.” Y/N clenched her hands into fists. “It was nice catching up, Clari. Next time we talk, we should tell each other about our lives after we parted.”

Y/N dabbed her face with a soft cotton towel as she walked back to the Athena cabin, almost groaning at the sight of Luke. “What are you doing here? Again?” She demanded, kicking his ankle.

“Woah! Hey, I’m waiting for Annabeth. I’m not here to annoy you. Yet.” Luke grinned as he leaned against a wall. Or he tried to, at least. He underestimated the distance and ended up falling.

“Smooth, Castellan.” Y/N sarcastically said as she towered over him.

“Thanks, writer. I try.” Luke coolly played his embarrassing mistake off while Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Luke, what are you doing?” Annabeth pushed open the door, arching an eyebrow at the boy who was sprawled across the floor.

“Y/N pushed me.”

Y/N scoffed, “I did not. You fell by yourself, Castellan. Like an idiot, might I add.” She brushed past Annabeth.

“You like her.” Annabeth blurted out as soon as Y/N was out of earshot. It was more of a harsh statement than anything else.

“I do not.”

“You do. What about Thalia? Why don’t you like her anymore?”

Luke furrowed his brows as he glanced at Thalia’s tree. “Thalia’s a tree, Annabeth. I have to move on at some point.”

Annabeth clenched her hands into fists as she glared at Luke. “I don’t want you to move on!”

Luke was confused as to why Annabeth was acting this way. He knew she missed Thalia but she had never burst into a fit. “Annabeth… I have to. You said you liked Y/N.”

“I do… but she’s not Thalia.”

Y/N woke up covered in a thin layer of sweat. She quietly panted. Her dreams were all the same now and depicted Athena ruthlessly lecturing her over and over again to the point where Y/N felt a little scared.

She heard someone shift in their bed. “Are you okay?” Y/N heard Annabeth whisper from across the room.

Y/N gave herself a moment to catch her breath before she sighed. “Yeah… just a bad dream, you know? I’m going outside for a bit.” Y/N kicked the covers off her body, shakily standing up.

“Thalia wouldn’t do that.” Annabeth muttered, “She doesn’t like going outside after nightmares.”

Y/N bit back an annoyed huff. “I’m not Thalia, Annabeth. I never will be her. You and Luke should let it go.” She walked out of the cabin, resisting the urge to slam the door.

“Oh, wow. This is just creepy. Are you sure you aren’t stalking me?” Luke grinned while Y/N sarcastically smiled. She sat down on the steps.

“Does Annabeth always go around and comparing people to Thalia?” She was straight forward and blunt. Luke clicked his tongue as he took the spot next to her.

“Not really… no.“

“Do you see me as Thalia?”

“I see Thalia in you but I know how to tell the difference between you too. Listen, Annabeth was attached to Thalia. And with new things coming to light, she’s on guard.”

Y/N turned to look at Luke, gazing at him in confusion. “New things?” She questioned.

“New… feelings.”

“… New feelings for Thalia the tree?”

Luke held his face in his hands as he groaned. “How are you a daughter of Athena? I’m giving you all the hints, writer.”

Y/N only raised her eyebrows. “I see no hints. All I see is your infatuation with a tree that was once a girl.”

“I like you.” Luke blurted out, unable to withstand any more of her obliviousness. “I don’t like Thalia. Maybe I did before but like I told Annabeth, I have to move on.”

Y/N was silent. She stared ahead while Luke awaited her reaction. Finally, Y/N said something. “You can’t like me… you don’t know me, Luke.”

“But I do! I know your favourite food and I know your favourite book. I know when people ask what your favourite colour is, you say it’s stupid to have one but your favourite colour is actually (insert)! I know you hate parties but you also want to feel like a normal teenager. And I know your favourite drink is (insert) yet the best one you’ve tried is in that cafe across from the school. I know things you didn’t know that I knew”- Luke cut himself off with a small sigh. “My point is I know you!”

“Did you mean you know things I didn’t know you knew about me?”

“Yes!” Luke quietly hissed, not wanting to be too loud in case he woke up the Athena kids. They wouldn’t be too happy about that. “And I know that you like correcting people’s grammar because the only paper you scored a B on was because you made grammar mistakes. You think you’re helping people but they think you’re a know-it-all. Though, when you explain your intentions, they realize you were only trying to help.”

Y/N stared at Luke with her lips parted. “Are you stalking me?” She murmured.

“No… yes? It was part of my quest, writer. I had to.”

“Well, that’s not creepy at all.”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying? I just said I like you and you called me creepy.”

“You are for knowing all that information about me!”

“Okay, okay.” Luke held his hands up in surrender, “Truce. I really do like you, writer.”

“And here I thought you hated me. What was up with all our bickering then?”

“It was the only way to get your attention. And, I must admit, I did feel a little jealous of you. You were so good at everything… and I’m only good at swinging a sword around.” Luke’s gaze flickered to the ground. He thickly swallowed before lifting his head again. He quickly realized how close he was to Y/N, their foreheads almost butting against each other.

“Do you really like me, Cast-Luke?” Y/N quickly corrected herself. Luke could feel a grin stretch across his lips. Y/N had never called him by his first name before. It was always Castellan this, Castellan that.

“I do. I like you, Y/N. I really, really like you.”

“Okay.” Y/N whispered, slowly leaning forward. She was afraid of what her mother would say but when her lips met Luke’s, suddenly she didn’t care.

All that mattered were Luke’s hands trailing up to grab her waist and the smile that spread across his face like gleeful wildfire.

PJO TAG LIST (FULL) : @lostinhisworld @julielightwood @jennapancake @evrybodydies1 @kkrenae @s0ulsniper @justanotherkpopstanlol @simpforeveyone @papichulo120627 @corpsebridenightamare @lilacspider @urmomsbananabread @ur-lacol-dsylexic @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @crybabysbakery @jsbabyyy @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @kamiliora @jamesmackreideswife @2hiigh2cry @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @randomgurl2326 @niktwazny303 @luvvfromme @y0urm0m12 @mochi-lover26 @annispamz

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#luke castellan #annabeth chase #luke castellan pjo #greek mythology #luke castellan x you #grover underwood #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson series #camp half blood #percy jackson fanfiction #pjo show #rick riordan #pjo season 1 #percy jackson fandom #percy pjo #percy jackon and the olympians

[snenbubs]

Imagine: Mammon's manifestation of Greed extending to his s/o in how he expects/demands monetary goods/compliments from others - but now, his s/o is there too, like a pretty little butterfly plucking his mind's webbing. Can't have a bad image on his hands, can he? Mass production is greed in itself, and that is the usual shtick - but what if you had a little nicer things? Things Mammon likes on you - same items, but tremendously high quality shit.

If he requests something, you'll be getting a version of it for yourself. One that compliments Mammon, of course.

New clothing made for him? Matching quality one for his s/o is now an unspoken demand. Interviews at a talk show or meet-n-greet - well, you're answering questions now too (obviously redirecting them all to be praise for Mammon, how great he is, exct.) Gifts brought to an elaborate blue-blood demonic soiree? - what do you *mean* none were brought for his little doll, too!? 110% absolutely the kinda guy to demand your items be brought out perfect and then some. Even goes as far as to demand a take-out meal (not quite fine dining, but not fast-food; the sin of Greed is at least trying) to be re-made all because you asked for the garnish to be removed - *and* you're getting dessert now, as an apology.

But, Mammon wouldn't be caught dead telling you the reason why. Not in public, at least; "It's just image, you little treacle-tart!", don't question why he's pummeling imps and demons alike for missed delivery or promises. He paid for that shit and they dare to bring you something sub-par!? Like he wouldn't check that quality for the $$ he dropped.

You better speak up too, if the quality/taste/item isn't to your liking. Mammon totally gets all butthurt when you don't. Grumbling about 'Wasting money on shitty things', and throws a tantrum, where for a week, he doesn't underhand the revenue from Fizz-merch to 'gift' you things.

'Cuz all of his gifts would probs come with webby-little metaphorical strings attached

(RIP to any s/o who says they don't need the stuff given to them - Mammon wants you dressed and presentable in the most marketable-patent-pending finest, and you wouldn't want him to feel bad for all this work he's put into making you look nice with him, right? Right?!)

I've been side eyeing this ask for ages because its HUGE oh my lord you put your whole being into this and i LOVE IT.

Now, Mammon being the manifestation of greed is really interesting when it comes to having an s/o because there are SO SO many ways his greedy nature would impact the relationship, both negatively and positively. This idea of him ensuring his s/o is bathed with extravagant items, and that others are expected to give to you is amazing because its like, he adores you so much that he's projecting his greed onto you. It's such a common thing in relationships and since greed is one of his core personality traits its really fitting!

So, catch this;

- Mammon has so many outfits for so many different occasions and because of this, so do you. It's not obvious, at first glance a person wouldn't be able tell that you were matching but the themes and colours of the outfits are strikingly similar. BUT, you will always have an outfit to match with his. Everytime he gets something new - which is often, he has something made for you. It's cute!

- He doesn't even need to put in the request anymore, his retailers just know they'll need to be making you something similar.

- All of his business partners know, actually. Bringing a gift to Mammon and feeding his neverending desire for material gain is like a peace offering. However, its heeded that if a similar gift is not brought to you too, then it's no-deal.

- It has to be good too, nothing cheap or casual. It must be luxurious, wealthy, and pristine. You are a nuisance to corporate wallets.

- Seeing you get given gifts of high quality and standard brings Mammon immense joy, close to that of how he feels when recieving items himself. He likes seeing the way you light up as you recieve such gifts, so greatful every single time despite how often it happens.

- Thats why it all has to be perfect, because if he gets even a whiff of disastisfaction on your behalf someone is dying.

- You don't know how he does it, but he always somehow knows whats wrong with the gift, and is always able to redirect the blame onto anyone but you. The gift is cheap, or tacky? These business demons are rich, how dare they try to play it cheap! You just don't like it? Well, you aren't ungreatful, they should have put a little elbow grease into figuring out what you're interested in!

- You don't really get why he's so invested in ensuring you recieve gifts. You've inquired about it many times, most commonly after you've disliked an item you had recieved and he had torn through half the underlings in the room, but he never spoke about it.

- He made obvious, half-assed excuses. I'm quoting you here, anon; "It's just image, you little treacle-tart!" But honestly you never thought to much into it, you guessed it was just his love language. That, and excessive physical touch.

- I think any normal person in this situation would try so, so hard not to become spoilt and demanding, but its honestly very hard to not cave into spoiling desires when the man you are in a relationship with can and absolutely will provide everything you could ever need and or want at the snap of a finger.

- Even if you don't ask for anything, he's still getting you stuff! He keeps a constant eye on the things you're interested in, recent views on shopping websites, items in public you took a particular liking to ect. He probably keeps a list somewhere.

- You don't have much of a say in getting these gifts though. Even if you didn't want them, if you weren't that much of a material person he's drowning you in them anyways. There's definitely a thin layer of guilt there too, because, I mean... he spent so much money on you, because he loves you, and wants you to have the perfect items! Don't you want to be perfect, and pretty, like him? Just let him spoil you, it can't hurt. He only wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

- This goes hand-in-hand with those metaphorical webs and strings attatched to his gifts. He's doing all this work for you, so you better like him. You can't complain when he needs something of you, because he treats you so well.

- Now then, I agree with you in the aspect that before he realised you should, as standard, be getting gifts and rewards from everyone around you, that he fed into your whims and desires in a quantity over quality fashion. You're happy, and it saves him his hard earned money which he absolutely despises parting with.

- But he gets more of a kick out of getting you the expensive stuff, a result of his overwhelming greed. So, this phase of quantity over quality didn't last long.

- He knows what products are the most extravagant and of fine quality and he always gets you that. I would say nobody ends up dying at this point, but that'd be a lie. Mammon is an impatient demon and so if an order is late, or if an item he has bought is skewed or damaged in delivery, blood is being spilt.

- I LOVE THE LAST ONE CUZ I ALSO HC THAT. I think Mammon is a very insecure man, deep down. He puts on this performance persona because he worries about the way he is percieved, so when Fizz just like, up and goes he gets extremely worried you'll do the same and has an extremely possesive few weeks.

- He convinces himself you have some sort of distaste for him, and so to keep you by his side he provides more erratically and richly.

- Though, he is typically quite possesive of you. You are always near, or around him. There's a common joke made among Mammon fans that if they spot you, the Sin is most likely nearby. He always is.

- He even takes you on talk-shows. It isn't normally allowed but he's a Royal so he can do whatever he wants. Of course, the interviews are typically all focused on him and his career; new songs he's writing, upcoming clowns, recent shows. You don't input much, but when you do, its typically to stroke his ever-growing ego and compliment the things you adore about him.

- Dates and dinners can be rather embarassing though, wherever he takes you, because his need for everything given to you perfectly seeps into this aspect of life too.

- I'm just reiterating what you've said now, but, you could be at a take-out place, nowhere too fancy, and he's demanding shit be brought out in silver platters. You made the mistake once of commenting about the garnish, and how you didn't want it on your food, and suddenly he's yelling out that it be remade because how dare they not know you didn't want it!? They told him, quite snarkily might I add, "It's just decorational, you can remove it yourself."

- That take-out place ended that day with one staff member less than they had started.

- He's crazy, but you love him.

This is probably what he looks like asking for shit to be changed for you tbfh.

ANYWAYS YEAH, I HOPE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU MEANT!!! its quite late, but i really wanted to answer this ask before bed so here y'go :] i hope you enjoy, anon!

#helluva boss x reader #mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #mammon helluva boss #hb mammon x reader #husband material #he's just so cute isnt he #the skrungle #i wanna fuck that christmas tree so bad

[biblio-smia]

“you can’t scare me like that, okay?” w mike schmidt <3? love ur work!

thank u!!! <333 | part of v’s 800 follower celebration!

when mike's call goes to voicemail, he doesn't mind. you're probably busy. maybe you didn't hear the ringing of your phone over the noise of something else.

when you don't call back, mike finds his mind start to wonder. did he do something wrong? do you not like him anymore?

when the clock hits six p.m., mike tries again. he hears the line ring for what seems like hours. this is unusual - the longest you've taken to pick up is three rings at most.

mike knows your schedule better than his. he knows you're sitting in your kitchen right now, thinking of what to put together for dinner. even if you left your phone somewhere, you would still hear the landline. so, mike tries again. one more time.

nothing.

now he worries about being overbearing. he hopes he's not annoying you, but he knows deeps down you're not the type to shy away from a conversation if you did happen to have an issue. it's unlike you.

this is unlike you.

mike is beginning to worry when it's ten p.m. and he still hasn't heard from you. he's found that he hasn't relaxed all afternoon, realized how important your presence (even if it's just the sound of your voice) is to his daily routine. mike feels a little ridiculous, depending on you so much, mind spinning between worried about coming off as clingy and simply worried about you.

he can't stand it by twelve, his heart thumping wildly and his imagination assuming the worst. he's gone through a million possible scenarios in his head, thousands of excuses. none of them fit quite right and mike is beginning to think back to a childhood memory that's haunted him for years.

he's off before he can really think about it, quiet enough not to wake abby but keeping a hasty pace. he's in his car, he's a little too much over the speed limit, he's in front of your door. mike is even more hesitant now that he's here. what if you were just avoiding him? was he making things worse?

mike decides it's worth the risk to knock. it's strong, but no other sounds in the quiet neighborhood follow. mike is about to give up after a few too many moments of silence when he finally hears footsteps.

mike perks up as the door opens and he finally sees you. mike doesn't care if you don't want anything to do with him; he hugs you immediately.

mike's sure you're confused, but you hug him back immediately. at least there's a good sign.

mike feels a little silly as he parts, looking at the clear confusion on your face.

"what's wrong?" you ask innocently, immediately erasing all of mike's worries.

"i thought..." mike shakes his head. "nothing."

"no, tell me," you insist, grabbing mike and dragging him inside. your home is dark; you obviously had gone straight to the door as soon as you'd heard it.

"i just thought... something might've happened." mike's voice shakes a little, his fears suddenly pressing on his chest. mike watches your eyes soften and he wills his emotions not to show so obviously on his face. "you can't scare me like that, okay?"

"i'm sorry," you say sincerely, taking mike's hands in yours. "i was just exhausted after work-"

mike shakes his head. "no, don't apologize for that. i was just kinda worried."

if mike is completely honest, he's a little embarrassed. he'd never thought he'd be the type to need so much reassurance. he didn't want to be clingy.

"i won't take naps like that again," you pull mike into another hug.

"oh, don't do that. just... call me whenever you wake up."

"what if i don't wake up until two in the morning?" you smile.

"then you call me at two in the morning." mike grins, kissing your cheek. "i should go."

"you can stay. it's the least i can do after neglecting you."

"okay," mike scoffs with a smile, shaking his head. "i wasn't totally helpless."

"no, you just missed me," you coo, letting mike cup your face in his hands.

he laughs before he leans in to place a soft kiss on your lips.

"yeah, i really did."

#mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt fanfiction #mike schmidt fluff #mike schmidt x you #fnaf x reader #fnaf movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #v + mike #v writes #v's 800 follower celebration

[bvidzsoo]

The Nightfury

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: gore, violence, blood, smut, maiming, fighting, swearing

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Word count: 22,2k

Summary: When Captain Kim died Hongjoong was only fifteen years old. He couldn't let his father's name go in vain, he took over the ship and became the next Captain Kim, better known as The Slayer. Everyone feared Hongjoong and his crew, Ateez. Everyone except you. You met in an Inn when you both were younger and tricked him into threatening an innocent man, and then you robbed him. You thought it was funny how such a powerful and feared man was so easy to play with, so you started your little game of sabotaging Hongjoong's affairs, unknowing that you were playing with fire. Would The Nightfury or The Slayer win once their swords clashed against each other? (Reader is called Lee Yuri in the following oneshots.)

A/N: Hii, I'm back!! But so is university, unfortunately, so I'll be slower with my updates. Also, this part is dark, alright, so take the warnings seriously! I didn't write anything very very detailed, but it's there, okay? Personally, I don't think San's part was too dark, I think it was more shocking and infuriating, however this one is just a different cup...also, if you haven't read Jongho's part, I highly recommend you do before reading this, because there are many call-backs to it. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know. And enjoy now! Share your thoughts!

Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite

Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part

            4 years ago

            From a young age, I had been encouraged to go out in the world, learn as many things as possible, be creative and discover myself: my likes and dislikes. From a young age, I knew I had a bright future in front of me, I knew I was destined to do incredible things, to be remembered forever. It’s the circumstances that came as a surprise to everyone, even myself, to how I achieved my current fame and the slightly atrocious things I had to do to get here. We didn’t do many bad things as my crew was still small, our ship barely fitting for twenty people, but we were growing, expanding. We were saving up for something bigger, better, and stronger. But for that, I needed money. A lot of it. Hanging around lowlifes and nobodies wasn’t going to solve my issues, so I carefully carved out a plan for myself. And the plan was perfect and simple. Find a target, quite easy as men had always been gullible, but they needed to be rich, now that was a harder task as these men tended to be slightly smarter than the rest. But with a bat of an eyelash, some sweet words and the right attitude you could get anything. And what I needed most were their riches. That turned out to be the easiest part, robbing them of their goods without them even noticing. And it was also fun and thrilling to watch their despair as they slowly realized they had nothing to fend off of anymore, promising to get it back in order to shower you with more expensive gifts, but I wouldn’t stick around for that long. No, I took what they had and then left, latching onto my next victim like a leech, taking away everything they had tucked away in their little chests filled with gold and jewelry. I didn’t care about them, I only cared about my own goal, and that was money. Lots of it. Thus, you probably would understand the predicament I found myself in currently, staring at the middle-aged man with bored eyes as he was trying to explain that his wife had caught onto him spending more money lately and started questioning him. I had zero interest in his sob story, whatever problems he was having with his wife was none of my business, he doomed himself the second he fell for my convincing act. He was the easiest to get and the dumbest out of all the men I have tricked so far, it made me almost feel bad for him.

“Listen, my love, I have to lay low for a little while because my wife is now more suspicious than ever.” He said in a hushed tone, looking around paranoid despite the loud chatter inside the Inn; nobody was paying attention to us.

“What about the emerald necklace I showed you last week?” I asked with a pout, sighing deeply. I watched as the man in front of me crumbled, a look of helplessness crossing his features.

“I know, I know, my love, but—”

“There would be no but’s if you loved me enough, Juyeon.” I cut him off, eyebrows furrowing in fake hurt, playing with my fingers in my lap. Juyeon, the man currently so desperate, let out a long breath of air and rubbed his forehead.

“I could—I—” He bit his lower lip, shaking his head, “I could try and buy it for you next week, but my wife—”

“It’s always your wife!” I allowed my voice to raise a little bit, pretending that I was fed up with him prioritizing his wife all the time. Juyeon tensed at the raise of my tone and glanced around, placing his hands on the table and slipping them towards me.

“No, no, it’s not like that, my love, you know it.” He tried to reason with me, taking my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I gulped and looked away, pretending that I was trying not to cry, “You know I love you more than anything else in the four seas and four kingdoms, but—I—I still need to take care of her and the children, I can’t—I can’t abandon them.”

I huffed and whipped my head around, to look at him, “That’s not what you said a few weeks ago, Juyeon.”  

He chuckled nervously and started rubbing my knuckles again, “Well, I thought about it more and—”

“So, you don’t love me.” I cut him off again, pulling my hands away from his hold, sniffing, “All of this was a lie. You don’t love me, Juyeon, you just don’t. You were trying to make a fool out of me and you succeeded!”

Juyeon chuckled nervously as I raised my voice, again, and quickly shook his head, “No, that’s not—”

“Really?!” I snapped, eyes filling with tears, “Because that’s not what it looks like right now! You promised we’d run away by the end of the month, you promised to buy me that emerald necklace, you promised to make me your lover! And now you’re saying you want nothing to do with me anymore?!”

Juyeon’s eyebrows furrowed as I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, sniffing now loudly, “No, my love. That is not what I’m saying! I love you and I will prove it to you—”

“Then run away with me.” I pressed, wiping away the tears, but more fake ones kept falling. I should’ve become an actress, that way my parents would’ve actually been proud of me.

“I can’t.” Juyeon muttered looking away, biting his lower lip again. It was my time to shine, I had to suppress my smirk from showing, as I stood up abruptly, the chair screeching loudly, making Juyeon look up at me alarmed.

“You don’t love me!” I said loudly, a few people around us glancing our way, “And you never did! All you did was use me, because you thought I must be dumb just because I’m young, right?! Who do you think you are, Lee Juyeon?! Shamefully charming me with your money and jewelry you gifted me—did you even think about your wife?! What if she were ever to see us—your children too!”

Juyeon was on his feet in an instant, eyes wide as people were now staring at us curiously, always up for a juicy story. Tears fell from my eyes and I wiped at them angrily, flinching back when he tried to touch me from across the table, “What—what are you talking about, Y/N?”

“Don’t act innocent right now!” I screamed, voice raw, Juyeon’s eyes even wider than before, “Stop lying to me and just admit all you did was use a poor girl like me for your sick and twisted fantasies!”

“That’s not what it is!” Juyeon suddenly screamed back, dark eyes narrowed now in anger and he stepped around the table, taking a hold of my arm. Despite his anger, his grip was still soft, careful not to hurt me. I could see the confusion in his eyes and I gulped as I averted my own, looking at the table, trying to tug my arm free, but he wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, I yelped and looked at him as I allowed a sob to escape my plump lips.

“You’re hurting me—” I whimpered, very fakely, but Juyeon reacted instantly. And so did someone else. As Juyeon’s grip softened even more, about to release me, a body larger than mine and Juyeon’s, appeared out of nowhere, pushing the middle-aged man backwards. Juyeon looked startled and so did I as my act slipped for a second as I looked to my left, staring at the newcomer. I was left speechless as I stared at his profile, jawline so sharp it could cut me in half.

“Mate, it’s time you stop.” His voice was firm and his gaze threatening as I couldn’t look away, suddenly captured by his presence, his aura. It was so strong, so sharp, and dominating. He exuded a call for respect, able to make anyone take a step back and oblige to his wishes. His black clothes were in perfect condition and he stood close enough for me to feel the sweet smell of his cologne, mixed with something salty. I gulped as I became conscious that I was staring, so I averted my eyes back on Juyeon, who looked like he didn’t know what to do. Even I forgot what I was supposed to do for a second.

“Please—” I whispered softly, eyes filled with tears as I looked back at the stranger, who’s eyes suddenly fell on me. I gulped, trying to mask the sudden attraction I was feeling towards him. His cat-like eyes rimmed with black eyeliner bore into mine sharply, analyzing my face for a second before he turned back towards Juyeon, who shook his head and tried to approach me again.

“It’s not what it looks like, I assure you—”

“You saying that makes it look like exactly that, mate.” The breathtaking stranger snapped, his voice low as his eyes narrowed at Juyeon, “I advise you leave when I’m still asking nicely.”

I gulped and wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt, Juyeon and I making eye contact briefly as he scoffed and grabbed his small bag, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you did this to me.” He muttered to himself, casting a last glance my way, his eyes filled with pain as he shamefully left the Inn, more people glaring at him and giving me sympathetic glances. I pretended to shiver as the stranger’s eyes and focus was on me now, having to continue my lie still. This is not the outcome I expected, but perhaps I was about to score big tonight. I allowed my eyes to run over the stranger’s body, noting the various necklaces adorning his smooth neck, his skin tan and satiny. The black pearl on a shorter chain caught my attention and my fingers itched to wrap around it and snap it off his neck. My eyes traveled lower and I tried to count his rings too, wearing at least two on one finger, making me gulp. This man was rich. And he wasn’t afraid of showing it off. Before our gazes connected I noticed his blonde hair falling very carefully on his forehead, definitely styled like that, finding the longer strands in the back interesting. Not many dared going for a mullet, but this man looked spectacular with it.

“Are you alright?” His sudden change of demeanor, the softness in his gaze, the worry lacing his tone, took me off guard and I gaped at him for a few seconds, looking dumb.

“Oh—I’m—uhm—” I cleared my throat and shook my head as my cheeks turned pink, embarrassed, “I’m fine—uhm, thank you for—making him leave.”

“I’ve been watching you for a while now, things seemed tense, I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you.” I felt my skin warm up at his words, finding it sweet. But how did I not notice somebody was watching us so closely? I was always good at singling people out, checking my surroundings and being alert of what was happening around me. Yet this man somehow managed to slip through unnoticed.

“Thank you,” I breathed out softly, finally gathering myself and continuing with my new plan, “He was—he’s not a bad man, you know…or so I thought.”

The stranger’s lips pulled into a line and he nodded understandingly, motioning with his hand for us to sit down, “Yeah, people can be quite deceiving—”

“You’re calling me dumb too?” I sniffed, lips quivering and the man quickly shook his head, eyes widening in panic.

“No, that’s really not what I’m trying to say!” He rushed out the words, looking rather cute, “I’m just saying that there’s evil people and they pray on innocent, unassuming people—”

“Like myself.” I finished the sentence for him and the man sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His earrings were rather pretty as I had just noticed them, he had quite a few of those too.

“Sorry, that came off rather rude—”

“Can I buy you something?” I cut the man off, wiping my cheeks free of tears and shaking my head, acting as if I was trying to compose myself, “You did save me from that asshole after all.”

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need anything—”

“But that’s unfair now…” I stared at him expectantly, waiting for a name.

“Hongjoong, Kim Hongjoong.” He extended his hand and I shook it firmly, whispering his name to myself, watching as his eyes fell on my lips for a second too long.

“Lee Y/N, nice to meet you.” I plastered on a small smile on my face, not releasing Hongjoong’s hand just yet. It was a trick which often worked on men, prolonged physical contact, a gaze lingering for a little too long…they always worked. And it was working right now as Hongjoong cleared his throat, looking a little flustered, as I finally released his hand and looked away shyly, letting my strawberry blonde hair fall against my face. I could see from the corner of my eye as Hongjoong’s eyes racked over my body, taking in my outfit and appearance, his eyes narrowing slightly. I certainly wasn’t dressed like an ordinary girl, but nobody ever truly figured out that I was a pirate. The clues were there, but they weren’t exactly obvious, one would think it was a preference to dress like this. And it really was. My black skirt, quite uneven at the ends, almost reached my ankles and my dark brown boots made of leather were rather worn at this point. The black cloth wrapped around my body was slightly peeking out from underneath the white off-shoulders breezy shirt I was wearing, a brown corset keeping everything in place. I had my favorite necklaces around my neck, always wearing them, but I dialed down on the bracelets I would normally wear. Rings weren’t something I liked wearing as I felt they restricted my grip when it came to holding a sword or dagger, however, they happened to come in quite handy when having to punch someone, the accessory leaving a rather nasty bruise on your opponent. The silence stretched on as Hongjoong placed his hands on the table, fingers intertwined and I couldn’t help but let my eyes fall on them. Hongjoong noticed and raised an eyebrow cheekily.

“You’re wearing quite a few rings…” I muttered, actually feeling embarrassed for being caught staring. My reaction made Hongjoong chuckle as he looked down at his own fingers, playing with the biggest ring on his forefinger. Something was carved on it, a letter.

“Personal preference, I guess.” Hongjoong said with a shrug and I hummed, noticing the waitress walking our way. I raised my hand shyly, avoiding Hongjoong’s eyes as he watched me curiously.

“How can I help you?” The waitress asked bored until she noticed Hongjoong sitting with me, her posture instantly straightening. I could understand, he was a very attractive man and he looked very upkept, something rare when it came to men. Most of them very dirty, smelly pigs. Even some of the rich ones.

“A bottle of wine would suffice for now.” I said, voice rather tight when this woman didn’t stop looking at Hongjoong, who seemed to be enjoying the attention. He smirked at her and cleared his throat, slightly tilting his head forward as if he was greeting her. My jaw clenched at the exchange and I had to hold back my glare as this woman was stealing the attention off of me, ruining my carefully designed plan. I had to be Hongjoong’s center of attention tonight, not anyone else.

“And some booze.” Hongjoong added with a wink as the waitress was just about to leave and I licked my dry lips, trying to keep a sneer off my face. This was ridiculous. When the woman was finally away, Hongjoong’s dark eyes fell on me, looking quite pleased with himself. It almost made me scoff but I quickly slipped back into character and looked away shyly, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap.

“You have that affect on all women?” I found myself asking quietly, actually curious. He could get anyone he wanted, and he definitely used that to his advantage, I wanted a confirmation in order to know how to approach him.

Hongjoong chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed, as he rubbed his chin, “You noticed?”

“It wasn’t hard to.” My response was too quick, too snappy, Hongjoong noticed too, so I cleared my throat and softened my voice again, “I’m just observant.”

“That’s good in a world like ours,” Hongjoong hummed, searching for eye contact with his intense gaze, “and yes, I tend to get that reaction when it comes to women.”

I chuckled softly, tucking a long strand of hair behind my ear, “It’s not very surprising since you’re a handsome man.”

A smirk appeared on Hongjoong lips as he leaned closer towards me, looking at me playfully, “Do you think I’m handsome?”

Before I could answer him, the waitress was back with our drinks, her eyes on Hongjoong only. I ignored her and took the tall glass for my wine roughly, making her glance at me surprised, another smirk appearing on Hongjoong’s lips. It was becoming irritating, the fact that he knew himself so well, the fact that he was using it on others.

“Thank you.” Hongjoong thanked the waitress and I didn’t miss the brush of his pinky finger against the woman’s hand and perhaps my grip on the wine bottle was a little too tight. If she wouldn’t leave in two seconds a dagger would be adorning the inside of her neck. But as I poured some wine for myself, she was finally gone and I could relax again, ignoring the amused look Hongjoong sent my way as he took a big sip of his booze. It was a vile thing; I did not like it. Wine was raffinate and came in various tastes, besides it was good for your health too unlike that strong, repulsive thing Hongjoong was drinking.

“You don’t like booze?” He asked with a chuckle and I fixed my expression, shaking my head as I took a sip of my own red wine, “Your grimace told me all about it.”

I chuckled shyly and looked down, finding it hard to act different in front of this man. My true nature wanted to come through badly, sensing he was a strong person, challenging my own ego.

“What brings you here tonight, Kim Hongjoong?” I asked with a smile, breaking the silence which seemed to fall upon us, his sharp eyes watching me carefully. I felt like I was performing an important task and a figure of authority was here to evaluate me, criticize me for the work I had done. And if I slipped, if I did the smallest mistake, he would notice. Hongjoong would know it was all an act, my fingers itching to steal all of that pricey jewelry adorning his body. If I wouldn’t get that emerald necklace from Juyeon anymore, I sure needed to get something else and the provider was sitting right in front of me.

“Just needed a distraction, you know.” He answered casually, taking a sip of his booze before he placed the glass back down, “It gets lonely when you’re a traveler sometimes. You know, you become stiff and I’m still young. I want to live a little.”

His story didn’t sound very authentic, the way he delivered it seemed very rehearsed and the way he averted his gaze told me he was lying. But I hummed and nodded understandingly, looking at my glass. The way he said traveler…didn’t sit right with me. What was he?

“Do you work, Hongjoong?” I asked curiously, watching the way he oh so slightly stiffened. There it was, I caught onto his lie.

“When I find something worth my time, yeah.” It was an ambiguous answer, “I get bored easily and I’m good at many things, so, there’s no reason for me to settle on one thing, you know?”

“Must be nice to have that luxury.” I chuckled and took a sip of my wine, our gazes connecting for a second before I looked away.

“What’s your story, Y/N?” Hongjoong asked as he leaned over the table, elbows resting on it, his hands pushed towards me as he held the glass, playing with it. I fixed my expression and smiled sadly, looking him in the eyes, having been waiting for this moment. I had just the perfect story for him.

“Well,” I shrugged and hesitated for a second, “my grandparents live here and I moved in with them when I was ten, so, there’s that. All my life I wished to study and travel the world, become a cartographer but my grandparents didn’t have the financial support for that nor the will to encourage my dream. They are traditional, you know, a woman belongs in the kitchen, inside the house and her only job should be to give birth to many kids. I didn’t want that, so I ran away, but quickly realized I had nothing so I had to return—”

I cleared my throat and blinked the tears away, watching as Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed at my pathetic and sob, fake, story, “It’s embarrassing, really, but I started mingling with the wrong people. I just want to find love, you know. True love. And it’s very hard because I’m past that age and no man wants me anymore…so, I—I suffice with whatever I find, you know. I thought, I really thought this time that Juyeon was the love of my life, but he lied to me. I didn’t even know he was married until tonight. I’m so ashamed. What if his wife found out? What if the people find out? What will be made of me—”

I hiccupped as a stray tear ran down my cheek and suddenly, big and warm palms wrapped around my hands, Hongjoong’s gaze melting into mine, “Hey, calm down.”

His voice had softened a big amount, he was talking quietly, reassuringly, “You’re not too old and nobody will say anything about you. Don’t let anyone get to you, Y/N, you’re your own master and you’re capable of anything you put your mind to, alright? And you’re too pretty to die alone, so, stop worrying about that.”

“You think I’m pretty?” I asked with a small smile as I suddenly flipped my palms and intertwined my fingers with Hongjoong’s, his eyes falling on them. He gulped and shook his head with a smirk, looking back up in my eyes.

“Yeah, I think you’re very pretty.” The flush on my cheeks wasn’t from the wine, nor was it fake, I actually blushed. I couldn’t help but smile wider at him, my stomach doing weird flips as his calloused fingers suddenly started rubbing my knuckles slowly, his eyes narrowing just slightly. He was too handsome and he knew too damn well what he was doing, it was dangerous. I could feel the wine seeping inside my system already, the room around us slightly hazy. If I wasn’t careful enough I’d become drunk, and then, my plan wouldn’t be carried out, only a mistake would be done. And I couldn’t let that happen. Not tonight.

So, I averted my eyes and pressed my finger against the biggest ring he owned, with the letter A engraved in it, I could see it now, “This one’s really pretty.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow as I looked at him through my eyelashes and he gulped, lightly pulling his hands away, the warmth disappear with him. He gave me a glance before he slipped his ring off, pushing it towards me on the surface of the table. My eyes widened as I looked at the ring then at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“You can take it for the night.” He muttered lowly, his eyes slightly darkening as I bit my lower lip, trying to fight my imagination from running wild because of the implication in his words. I took the ring and slipped it onto my middle finger, a little big for me, but its weight a reminder to never lose it. It seemed important as I inspected it, feeling something engraved in the inside of it too, making a mental note to look at that later.

            As time passed, more drinks settled on our table than empty bottles were taken away, our systems infusing with the alcohol we kept downing as if it were water. Sometime ago, my head started spinning, the room a bit hazy if I tried looking around, making me realize I have drunk more than enough, walking on the thin line of being tipsy or drunk. But I dialed down on the strong drinks, opted for water for half an hour now, slightly feeling better. The line of boundaries seemed to have blurred a long time ago too as Hongjoong was basically all over me, laughing loudly at almost everything I said as he wouldn’t stop drinking his booze, which I had secretly swapped with water ten minutes ago. He had yet to notice, too caught up in the story he tried telling for the second time. He was hilarious and as the alcohol loosened him up, he stopped being so intimidating, his intense gaze lightening, cat-like eyes smiling at me each time we locked eyes. I tried to stop myself, but it was futile, as Hongjoong’s hand would grip my thigh quite frequently, holding onto it before he would gesture with his hands again, and I couldn’t help but heat up, stomach flipping at each unintentional touch. Or perhaps it was intentional…it probably was as Hongjoong’s head dipped lower, lips grazing against the shell of my ear, making me freeze.

“Please don’t tell me you’re actually interested in whatever bullshit story I’ve been telling you for the past hour.” His words took me off guard and my mind instantly went to the worst-case scenario. He figured out that I was a pirate and I planned on robbing him, but when suddenly his hand was on my thigh again, a lot higher than before, and squeezing firmly, I couldn’t find my words nor any cohering thoughts, “Because I know you’ve switched my booze with water, Y/N, and quite frankly I’m bored of sitting here and entertaining you like this.”

All I could do was gulp and stare at the wall, trying not to shudder when his finger started rubbing circles into my thigh, “Then—then how else—could you entertain me?”

A beat of silence passed between us as I pulled my head back, our gazes connecting as Hongjoong leaned incredibly close, his lips ghosting over mine, breath fanning my face, “Fucking you sounds a lot better than sitting here and pretending we’re interested in what the other one has to say.”

I couldn’t help but let out a breath in disbelief, body lightly shaking as I felt like I was electrocuted, feeling hot all over and mind reeling. This really wasn’t going according to my plan, all I had to do was steal his shit once he got wasted, but his words awakened the want I’ve been trying to repress ever since my eyes fell on him. All softness was gone from his deep eyes, staring at me like he wanted to devour me right then and there, in front of everyone. I bit my lip at the thought and Hongjoong’s eyes fell on them, his nose twitching as he licked his own lips, yet didn’t move an inch. It felt like torture, being so close, yet he felt so far away. I probably should’ve refused him and walked out of that Inn, but I didn’t. My body didn’t want me to leave, my brain was screaming at me to let him have his way with me. I was tipsy, yet I felt so hyperaware of everything around me, of his grip burning my skin, his eyes undressing me and his lips so close they were almost touching.

“What are you waiting for?” I managed to whisper out as Hongjoong smirked once my words got to his brain, his hand disappearing like lightning from my thigh, chair pushed back as he was up on his feet. I couldn’t even blink as a grip on my forearm pulled me up and I was led away from the bar area, rushed towards the stairs. We haven’t paid for our drinks yet, but it seemed like nobody really cared as we disappeared up the stairs, Hongjoong almost running, tugging me along. It was a little bit funny and I couldn’t help but giggle as Hongjoong tried opening all the doors until he finally found an empty room, throwing me a cheeky smile as he walked us inside, door slamming shut quickly. We didn’t have a key, but we didn’t need one. It didn’t seem like we’d take too long either way as Hongjoong started unbuttoning his black vest, stare pinning me against my spot. I mirrored him and started undoing the lace of my corset, making Hongjoong’s eyes wander down my torso, gulping as I got rid of the piece of clothing, letting it fall next to me on the floor. Hongjoong’s vest was abandoned and he undid the buttons of his white shirt messily, hissing when his fingers wouldn’t work as he wished, making me chuckle. I didn’t bother unbuttoning my shirt, just raised it overhead, making Hongjoong bite his lip as he took my body in. I gripped the skirt on both sides of my hips before pushing it down, remaining in nothing but my underwear, stockings, and the black cloth wrapped around my torso providing warmth and restricting my breasts from getting in my way. I preferred it that way, men took you more seriously when your breasts weren’t hanging in their faces. Hongjoong was about to undo the belt on his pants when his eyes fell on me once again and he sucked in a harsh breath, abandoning his initial actions. He stalked towards me, eyes never leaving mine, until he was all up in my face, warmth radiating off his body. I almost stepped back, intimidated by his proximity, but I stood my ground and stared him down, waiting for him to make the first step, but he didn’t. He was teasing me as he smirked, eyes running over my face, chuckling before I felt his hands on my waist, gripping me, pulling me flushed against his firm body. I gasped as his warmth enveloped mine, his naked torso gaining my attention as I looked down, taking in the muscles of his tanned skin, his chest very well worked. Our eyes connected once again and no more precious seconds were waisted as our lips crashed against each other, not soft at all as they moved against each other vigorously, trying to settle for a satisfying pace, but nothing was good enough as we devoured each other hungrily, whining into the kiss when Hongjoong’s fingers dug into my skin, pressing against my hip bones. My hands explored his naked torso, dragging and pressing against his burning skin, trying to feel each muscle as Hongjoong walked me backwards until my back hit the wall, caging me against it with his strong arms.

My hands explored his back and I scratched down his scapula’s with my nails, earning a groan from him as he bit my lower lip, pulling back breathlessly, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I wasted no more time and started undoing the belt of his pants, Hongjoong’s lips finding my neck as he started pressing slow, sensual, kisses down to my collarbones, where he sucked on the skin harshly, earning a hiss from me as I pushed his head slightly back, glaring at him. I didn’t want any type of marks on my body left by him, or anyone else, but it seemed like Hongjoong was rather amused as he grabbed the back of my head and licked my lips, taunting me, my glare deepening as I tugged harshly against his belt, our bodies colliding again. That seemed to wipe off the amused smirk of his face as I slowly, teasingly, undid the lace of his pants, not quite pushing it off his hips. Hongjoong watched me as I smirked this time and sneaked my hand inside his pants, lightly brushing against his member, surprised that he wore no underwear. It was daring. Hongjoong groaned as my fingers lightly grazed the tip and he pressed his lips against mine again as I took a hold of his member, slowly pumping it. His kiss was messy, our teeth clanking together, as Hongjoong moved his hips, thrusting into my hand wrapped around him, whining when I squeezed down on it and fastened the pace. He pressed a short kiss after kiss against my lips, muttering profanities against my lips as his eyebrows furrowed, bucking up faster as I settled on a fast pace, his whimpers getting throaty and until he started whispering for me to stop, biting my earlobe when I didn’t listen to him.

“Stop, I’m so close—” He snapped against my ear, grabbing my throat harshly, making my breath hitch as his sounds and ministrations got to me, body feeling hot as I slowed the pace of my hand, Hongjoong freezing, his member twitching. He was panting as he pulled back to look at me, my lips parted in anticipation and suddenly I felt his thumb moving against my neck, until it was pressing against my chin, then my lower lip, parting my lips more for him. I couldn’t breathe as we held eye contact, his thumb finally slipping inside my mouth, my lips latching around it, ever so slowly starting to suck on it. His pupils were blown wide, lips parted in pleasure before his jaw clenched, eyes never leaving mine as I swirled my tongue around his thumb, his hips bucking into my hand once again.

“Fuck.” He spat before grabbing my wrist with his other hand, pulling it out of his pants, giving me a warning glare about touching him again as he started pushing his own pants down, my lips still wrapped around his thumb, sucking and licking it. I couldn’t help but grin as he moaned quietly and pulled his thumb out of my mouth, pants pooling around his ankles. Standing naked in front of me, the man was gorgeous. His tan skin glistened with light sweat, body flushed and pupils blown wide as he found the top of my stockings before he yanked them down, pulling my underwear off too in the process. I gasped as the coldness hit the lower half of my body and his thigh was pressed between my legs, making me gulp as his lips found my neck again. He started licking at the skin, eliciting a sigh as his thigh flexed against me and with a hand firmly placed against my hips, he rolled them forward, the friction making my breathing stutter for a second. My nerves felt on fire as I allowed Hongjoong to set the pace, one which was incredibly slow, making the hairs on my arms stand as it felt torturous. I needed more, something faster, but Hongjoong hissed when I tried to move on my own, making me whine loudly as he chuckled against the skin of my neck. I didn’t even notice it when he bit down on my skin, too focused on the burning of my lower region, clenching around nothing as I was starting to grow relentless, desperate. His teeth pierced my skin and I moaned as Hongjoong finally quickened the pace, juices coating his muscular thigh as I threw my head back, the friction finally enough. But it didn’t last for long as his thigh was gone and lips too, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him confused, only to feel his strong hands gripping my thighs before I was hoisted up, legs wrapping around his hips firmly as his member pocked at my entrance.

“Please.” I whispered as I looked at Hongjoong, running my fingers through his hair until I gripped the end tightly, yanking our heads close together. Hongjoong bit my lower lip as I felt his tip pushing against my entrance and I gasped as he finally pushed inside, his length stretching my walls like no one’s before. My back was flushed against the wall as Hongjoong leaned into me, setting a pace before he was even fully in, not quite fast nor slow, just right at the moment. I tried to stay silent with each one of his strong thrusts, but it was rather difficult as he was sharp, starting to quicken the pace. My head was thrown back against the wall, lips parted as quiet moans started escaping, Hongjoong’s lips brushing my Adam’s apple as he was panting, body crushing mine as if our closeness wasn’t enough already. My senses were heightened and it felt like pure bliss as he finally set a faster pace, the pitch of my voice raising as I felt Hongjoong’s eyes on my face, his lips red and plump from all the kissing and biting. My fingers tightened in his hair more, making him gasp lightly as suddenly my chin was gripped harshly, yanking my head down. His lips crashed against mine and his tongue was in my mouth, licking at my teeth, exploring my mouth like his life depended on it. I started meeting his thrusts, but it still wasn’t enough, I needed more as my release was building up, but not quite there yet. Hongjoong whined into my mouth as I clenched around him and I pulled back, gripping his cheeks as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

“I need more.” I whispered breathless and Hongjoong nodded, suddenly pushing all the way in, his movements ceasing. It felt torturous as my body burned, yearning for more, needing to release soon all the built-up tension. He let out the quietest breath when I clenched around him again, lightly trying to move my hips, but his bigger body had me mobilized between himself and the wall. This was not my idea of more, and before I could complain about it, he held me firmly against himself and suddenly pulled me off the wall, turning and walking towards the bed. I held onto him tightly, arms around his neck as I started leaving kisses behind his ear, making his member twitch inside me, grinning against his skin. Hongjoong groaned when he felt it and for a second I was falling backwards, back placed carefully against a soft surface. The bedsheets were cold and I shivered as I looked up at Hongjoong, who was looking down at me with a different glint in his eyes. It looked like adoration, almost, and it made me gulp nervously. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything towards him, he was simply my prey and I was playing my part in the game he started by approaching me when I was still with Juyeon. He still didn’t move as he leaned down, and suddenly it felt too intimate as his lips pressed softly against mine, the kiss slow like never before, lips moving against mine in a tender manner, heating up the skin of my face. It made me feel guilty all of a sudden, how unassuming he was; I’ve never ever felt bad before for one of my victims. As he went to pull back, I gripped his cheeks and pulled him back down, placing a newfound passion into my kiss, tongue slipping into his mouth as he slowly started moving his hips again, the movement drawn out, sensual. It elicited a moan instantly from my lips, and Hongjoong took my left hand and intertwined our fingers as he pressed it down next to my head. My other hand tangled in the long strands of his hair as his free one found my hips and suddenly, his pace became vicious, restless as he started pounding into me, toes curling and head thrown back as moan after moan slipped from my lips. My legs hooked around his hips and I met his thrusts, his finger painfully pushing into the ring he gave me, a reminder that I was still wearing it. Hongjoong’s moans mixed with mine as I started clenching around him, so so close to finishing, and when his thumb brushed against my clit I was gone for, eyes rolling back as I came undone, the sensations overwhelming as he rode out my high with me before pulling out and with a few strokes to his dick finishing on my stomach.

I was still panting, coming down from the high as I stared at the ceiling, body flushed and Hongjoong’s hand in mine screaming at me that I couldn’t let my feelings get to me right now. Not tonight. Suddenly, his eyes found mine and he smiled as he leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead, making my eyebrows furrow as he finally got off me, my body shivering at the sudden coldness wrapping around me. I watched him as he looked around in the room before finding a towel and walking back to me, cleaning me up and muttering a small sorry, as if pulling out wasn’t smarter than finishing inside of me. But I remained silent and allowed him to pull me up in a sitting position as we stared down each other, seemingly not knowing what to do next. The drunken haze was somewhat gone from his eyes, signaling that he was perhaps just tipsy now, if not sober. Robbing him right now would be too difficult, so I opted for the last resort I had on me as a backup plan. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards me as I crawled back, laying down, making him lay down next to me. Hongjoong smiled and brushed the hair out of my eyes as we lay facing each other, smiling. My stomach dropped a little bit, but I ignored the sensation and focused on how much I was blushing as Hongjoong caressed my cheek and giggled as if I said something funny, making me raise my eyebrows at him but he just shook his head.

“Where are you from?” He asked quietly as he played with my hair and I sighed, not wanting to give away too much, but finding the moment so intimate that all of my walls were down, something which rarely happened.

“The North.” I whispered and looked away, not quite wanting to see his reaction. The North Kingdom was known for being rather ruthless and its people cold and barbaric. And it was all true. We really were that way. Our rules were strict and demanded to be followed, if anyone dared disobey them they would certainly face a painful death. We didn’t beat around the bush and were straight-up people. Many didn’t like the lifestyle, however, and found refuge in the neighboring Kingdoms, yet I found peace in the stern rules, in the familiar routine. If everything was so chaotic like in the rest of the Kingdoms, especially the South, how could people easily fall asleep? How would they not worry about what they’d do tomorrow? Nothing was certain and I couldn’t live with that. Sometimes I’d get homesick and we’d return home, but we weren’t exactly welcomed anymore. Our land didn’t treat the defectors kindly, once word got around you’d get shone away in best case scenario. And my parents knew what I was, a pirate. They would never welcome me back inside their house, their only child was a menace to society, a shame on the Lee family’s name. I wouldn’t be surprised if they told everyone I had died in the war we got deflected to so many years ago when I was just a child. The southern islands of our Kingdom always fought back against our harsh rules and demanded lesser sentences, but the Queen wasn’t having it. Therefore a war broke out between the mainland and southern islands which lasted for three years, our Queen giving in to her people, and giving them partially the freedom they wished for.

“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Hongjoong’s quiet voice brought me back from my thoughts, eyebrows raising slightly as I hadn’t heard what he said previously, “Being from the North, I mean. I have a friend who’s the nicest and most caring sailor I have ever known, and he’s strong too. Stereotypes exist, but it doesn’t mean you are just like them.”

I gulped and found myself slightly smiling at Hongjoong, his comforting words surprising. He didn’t seem like the type who cared much about others feelings up until now.

“We feel deeply, but we don’t like showing it to others…we see it as a burden, you know?” I found myself explaining it to Hongjoong and he hummed, caressing my cheek again with a fond smile.

“I know, my friend said the same thing.” He chuckled and I buried my head in the pillow, trying to hide my big smile, ignoring my brain screaming at me that I wasn’t following the plan at all. Sometimes it felt nice letting the heart get what it wanted.

“Do you happen to be obsessed with mermaids as well?” I pulled my head away from the pillow and looked at Hongjoong with raised eyebrows as I shook my head, “Ah, thought everyone was obsessed with it from your little Kingdom—”

“The Sun Set Kingdom is the smallest.” I narrowed my eyes at Hongjoong and he chuckled, amused by how triggered I got. Yes, the north was small but the island surrounding it made it larger than the Sun Set Kingdom, so it was unfair we got called the smallest kingdom, “And yes, my people are quite the believers when it comes to folklore, but I guess it depends on your upbringing too.” And my parents believed in nothing divine, calling it a waste of time as no Gods could help, only you could help yourself.

“I’m from the Sun Rise Kingdom.” Hongjoong muttered with a sigh, turning onto his back, hands behind his head, “I guess we’re both far away from home.”

I hummed and turned on my back too, eyes surveying the dark room, finding some water and glasses on a dresser. I cleared my throat and sat up, the weight of Hongjoong’s ring on my finger quite distracting as I walked towards the dresser. I could feel Hongjoong’s eyes on me as I poured water for the both of us, slipping some white powder from one of my necklaces into the left glass. I waited for it to dissolve before I turned around, sipping from my own glass as I walked towards Hongjoong. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and accepted the glass of water with gratitude.

“May I ask why are you wearing that?” He asked as he gulped down his water, eyes on the black cloth wrapped tightly around my body. I smiled and sat down, taking his empty glass and placing it on the floor.

“Well, I guess it’s for hiding my feminine figure?” I shrugged, finishing my glass of water, “Some of the jobs I do aren’t very female friendly and I can pass as a boy if I wear the right clothing with this, you know?”

“Nobody as pretty as you would pass as a boy.” Hongjoong chuckled and I rolled my eyes embarrassed.

“Trust me, I can camouflage myself very well.”

“And what is this mystery job you have?” I pursed my lips and watched as his blinks got longer, eyelids heavier and heavier. The amount of powder I slipped in his water would knock him out any minute now.

I chuckled and watched as Hongjoong tried lifting his arms, futile, “I’m a con-artist, let’s say.”

His eyes found mine but he didn’t say anything as his breathing slowed, eyelids falling shut, lips parting as his body went numb. I smiled sadly at him and got off the bed, dressing myself back up, looking like nothing even happened. I walked to Hongjoong’s side and adjusted him in a comfortable position before pulling the blanket over him, tracing his lips with my finger. My eyes fell on the ring I was still wearing and I took it off, bringing it up to my face. I turned it and tried to see what was carved on the inside, fingers running over it. The letter A and then…teez? Ateez? I paused for a second, looking down at the sleeping man. Kim Hongjoong. The ring with the letter A carved on it. Ateez carved inside of it. My eyes widened as I almost dropped the ring, looking at Hongjoong with slight fear pulsing through my veins. Had I just slept with The Slayer? The captain of the Ateez pirate crew? Oh, this was a turn of events even in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have expected to happen. I looked around the room, hurrying to grab Hongjoong’s pants in search of gold or money. He did have a few coins on him, a lot less than I was expecting. I hissed as I looked back at the man and at the ring in my hand before I walked over and placed it on top of the pillow where I was supposed to be sleeping. But as I was about to leave, the black pearl necklace around his pretty neck caught my attention and I didn’t stop myself from taking what I wanted. I carefully took it off him and placed it around my own neck, staring down at it in awe. I’ve always wanted a pearl necklace, but they were too expensive and too hard to find, especially the black ones, they were rare. Without another glance at the man sleeping in the bed, I walked out the door, leaving our little escapade behind me, never to mention it to anyone.

            But things were never easy, especially for women as nobody took them seriously in a highly male dominated field. Being a pirate was hard, but being a woman pirate was even harder. Nobody wanted to do business with you, nobody wanted to strike deals with you and nobody would sell you weapons. So, forced to fend for ourselves in different ways, we started robbing other ships in the middle of the night, creating a fearful reputation for ourselves while acquiring provision and munition for ourselves. Our crew and ship grew with the passing of time and as we started establishing ourselves on the market, they nicknamed us The Nightfury. Sailors and pirates alike feared us once they learned about us as we’d attack them in the middle of the sea, leaving them with nothing, assuring them a painful death if they didn’t get to land in three days. And they usually didn’t. We tried not to be harsh, but we were forced by the men around us. They thought they could do anything to us without facing repercussions, and so that had to be proven wrong by us. And despite becoming quite successful in the past four years, there was still a thorn in our side. Ateez. The most feared pirate crew of the four seas and four kingdoms. No matter where we went, they had been there just before us, wreaking havoc and leaving nothing behind, nothing for us to find. And that just wouldn’t do anymore. I’ve had enough of always getting their sloppy seconds, so I devised a new plan. One which was working marvelously. Thanks to my extraordinary acting talent, I managed to charm a few of their investors and merchants into giving us their goods for a slightly lower price and still taxing Ateez with their old price while selling them second-made goods, sometimes even fake ones. Irene, my second in hand, had warned me that it wouldn’t be long until the notorious pirate crew caught on to our scams, but I opted not to listen to her. I had fooled Kim Hongjoong once, who would say I couldn’t do it twice? And so I did, so blatantly out in the open, right under his nose. He was always so close, yet never close enough to catch us. He even sent assassins our way, sent his most loyal dog Choi San, but all the damage he managed to do was stab a very humanlike looking pillow and blanket laying in a bed, on the highest floor of the Inn I supposedly resided in. Joy and I sipped on our drinks as we watched him from the window from across the Inn, laughing when he looked around in confusion, realizing he had been fooled. Choi San never made mistakes, yet here he was, outsmarted by two playful women, who played these eight fools as if they were their own puppets. Joy and I clanked our glasses together before downing our wine, turning back to the real deal we had to focus on, the two rich men tied up with tons of money falling out of their pockets. Ah, we had quite the productive night that evening. But what I failed to realize, despite Irene’s frequent warning, was that once someone made Kim Hongjoong furious, they would end up facing his wrath. And when that happened, it would hurt. A lot. But I felt comfortable, too safe, unknowing that he was gaining advantage on me minute by minute. But I started this dangerous game, and the inciter never backed down.

            Present time

            There was something different about the Sun Rise Kingdom. The air itself felt warmer, the wind never too harsh, the soil softer than anywhere else. You would never smell anything foul, not even at the markets, and the people were always smiling. Always so nice, and always so trusting. I had to say, they were the most gullible and unfortunately, they were our easiest prey. I loved the Sun Rise Kingdom, not because of how easy we had it here, but because everything was so inviting, so accepting. In the past four years our crew grew significantly big and people recognized us. Our faces were plastered everywhere in the Sun Set Kingdom on wanted posters, constables constantly trying to catch us. They seemed to hate us the most out of all the Kingdoms and, perhaps, I couldn’t blame them as once we accidentally almost burned down the only inhibited island they happen to have. It was an accident, of course, we aren’t cruel like that, but they wouldn’t understand that no matter how many times we’d try explaining it to them. After realizing that it was futile making peace with them, we soon started giving up on that Kingdom, closing our deals with the merchants, keeping only our most important investors. This came in quite handy for Ateez, of course, as they got richer and richer, taking away one of our most important ammunition resource’s. But my crew was very talented and cunning, we managed to smuggle a few guns still from them, a spy who owed her life to me always lurking in the shadows, helping us out whenever we needed something important from over there.

We had arrived to the Sun Rise Kingdom a week ago and treated it as a little vacation as all of us had been tired from restlessly sailing the seas, almost losing our lives when a storm hit us while we were traveling through the Raging Sea. It was a bad idea sailing through it, but we’ve done it before and were lucky enough to avoid any storms, our navigator, Wendy, rather talented at her job. Everything was going smoothly so far, no run ins with the constables, nobody bothered us for the most part, a merchant even offered a good deal for us upon hearing we were in town, and the men in this bustling town were rather good looking, pockets and pouches heavy with coins. It truly felt like we were on a resort, finally enjoying our lives for a little bit, young and hungry for more. But our safe heaven didn’t last for long as two days ago Irene came barging inside my room as I was reading through a letter Siwon, an older smuggler from the Sun Set Kingdom, had sent a week ago. He found some ancient looking jewelry and he wanted to make sure they were authentic before selling them, offering to give us half of the payment if I helped him out. Greed was a bad thing, but I wouldn’t turn down such a nice offer.

The door to my room was slammed open, crashing into the wall harshly as I jumped up from my seat with a wildly beating heart, “They are here!”

I watched my second-in-command, Irene, pant as her long black hair fell in her eyes, “Who are here?”

I watched her with a confused expression as I placed a palm over my racing heart, giving her a small glare for scaring the living daylight out of me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Ateez!” Her normally quiet voice turned shrill as it rose a few octaves, her normally composed nature completely disappearing. Ateez. My jaw clenched as I leaned against my desk, huffing.

“Of course they are here,” I muttered, as Irene stepped inside my room and hastily closed the door behind her, “I can never rest for too long, can I?”

“This is bad.” Irene said gravelly as she started pacing around my room, “You know this is bad, Y/N, we must leave. Right now. If they find out where we reside, you know they will come after us—”

“Will you relax for a second?!” I snapped, Irene’s anxiety rubbing off on me as I threw her a glare, sitting back down in my chair, “We’re supposed to be leaving in three days if we want to get to the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks.”

“What?” Irene’s eyebrows furrowed as she neared me, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, “Sun Set Kingdom—what are you talking about?”

I smiled at her confusion, her eyebrows scrunching up, her intimidating face looking rather cute as I grabbed the letter from Siwon and handed it to her. She took it and read it quickly, sighing as she looked back at me. I could read the exhaustion in her eyes, almost pleading to stay put for a little longer. We were supposed to go up North for a while, visit her family as they hadn’t given up on their daughter like mine have. Irene was homesick, and so was I, but this…this would be big. Siwon giving us half of the payment meant we could lay low for at least half a year, find a nice spot somewhere and just live quietly, rest. All of us wanted that, after all, the crew has worked hard to get to where we were now.

“Please,” Irene’s voice lowered, the letter clutched tightly between her fingers, “do we really need to go? It’s Siwon, you know he’s not trustworthy. He fucked us over last time too, Y/N, shouldn’t you think this through first?”

I shook my head and took the letter from her, turning to face my desk as I had readied to write back to Siwon before Irene came barging inside my room, “We could be free for half a year, Irene, if we do this. Jewels are our forte and he knows that, that’s why he’s asking for our help. I promise to head up North straight afterwards—”

“And sail through the Icy Sea?” Irene tsked and gave me a look, “No.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at her, “What do you mean, no?”

“You heard me right,” Her voice turned serious and her expression hardened. I knew what was coming, “I’m your second-in-command and I refuse to go to the Sun Set Kingdom. I refuse to sail through the Icy Sea.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing that she meant none of that, “Go find yourself a different crew then.”

I turned to grab my pen as I was smacked hard across the back of my head, making me let out a loud yelp, whipping my head around to glare at Irene, “You bitch—”

“Shut up,” Irene snapped, leaning down to be eye level with me, “I don’t know why I keep putting up with you, but for once in your fucking life, listen to me. Ateez is in the same town with us, Y/N, and Hongjoong wants you dead. We have to leave.”

I just smiled at Irene and placed a hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly, “And how many times did he already try to kill me? Don’t worry, we’re safe—I’m safe. Tell the other girls we’re leaving in three days to meet with Siwon. And then we head to the North, through the Barren Sea.”

Irene sighed loudly as she shook her head at me, but I knew she was thankful for at least avoiding the Icy Sea. She hated that place; it took her brother’s life when they were only children. We’d have to sail a lot more if we wanted to go through the Barren Sea, but I’d do anything for Irene to make her feel safe. She was my second-in-command after all, I did have to respect her requests and opinions. And as a dear friend to her, I didn’t want to antagonize her too much if I could. I smiled at her brightly, and she rolled her eyes as she straightened and pulled her hand away from mine, headed for the door, throwing me a small glare before she was out the room, making me chuckle to myself as I picked up my pen, ready to write back to Siwon.

            But there was a reason why Irene was my second-in-command. I was brazen and most of times didn’t think things through, meanwhile she was calculated and very smart, taking every possible outcome into consideration before proceeding with her actions. This was a prime example as to why I should listen to her more often, but one doesn’t actually learn until something very bad happens. And that very bad thing happened just the night before our departure from the lively town we resided in for the past week. Everyone was ready, getting their last peaceful sleep before we’d set off, my evening a little bit more eventful as I had found a man down at the bar and decided to charm him, because why not? We’d be setting off and wouldn’t be around men for a long time. It was nothing too impressive, but he got the job done and I even managed to steal his pricey looking wristwatch. Ever since sleeping with Hongjoong, nobody seemed to be as good as him. It’s like he altered something inside of me so that I’d never find true pleasure and satisfaction in other men. It happened four years ago, yet I could still recall that night as if it had happened just yesterday. It was infuriating and frustrating to have someone always in the back of your mind, especially when that someone hated you and wanted you dead. I couldn’t lie, I felt quite resentful towards him as well, our feud throughout the years making me wish I could slice his neck with a dagger. But we never saw each other since that night, his dirty work carried out by someone else for him, however, I didn’t bother doing the same, knowing very well it was a lot more painful if his assets were the ones dissipating right in front of his eyes. People would call me greedy, but he wasn’t so different.

It hadn’t been long since I had settled into bed, getting comfortable as I let out a long sigh, the silky surface of the blanket soft against my skin. This bed was a lot more comfortable than the one I had on the ship and it made me ponder for a second whether I should just steal the sheets for a nicer sleep on the ship. The thought almost made me laugh as I snuggled my head against the puffy pillow, strawberry blonde hair falling over my face. My body was soft, mind slowly shutting down as I allowed myself to relax in the safety of my room. But that didn’t last for long as something hard crashed against the window and I jumped up in a sitting position, heart hammering in my chest. My eyes fell on the huge rock which sat on the wooden floor of my room and before I could really think about it, a dark head appeared outside my window. My body tensed up and I threw the covers off my body as the person climbed through the window, boots crunching against the broken glass on the floor. I grabbed the dagger off my nightstand and looked at the figure menacingly, never one to back down from a fight. It was dark, I couldn’t exactly see their face, not that it mattered much who it was. But for a second, as our gazes connected, my breath faltered and the silence around us was too loud. I could recognize those eyes anywhere. He took one step further inside the room, features more visible, clearer to see, easier to recognize. A face, which was more mature now, more defined, chiseled. My stomach dropped as I watched Hongjoong step further inside the room, looking around nonchalantly. His face was expressionless yet his eyes were harsh, and I gulped as my grip tightened on my dagger. He’s never came in person before. Always sent someone else. Irene was right, we should’ve left three days ago. I was backing towards the door when Hongjoong’s cat-like eyes settled on me again, a sinister smirk spreading onto his lips, eyes widening slightly. In the darkness of the room, he looked utterly scary. My heart was beating too fast and I found myself breathing quickly, realizing I was losing my composure. He looked stronger; his body so much more muscular, wider. Fuck.

“Lee Y/N.” He spat my name out with venom lacing his voice and I froze for a second, surprised by it. Did he really hate me this much? That wasn’t too good.

“Kim Hongjoong.” I was nonchalant, played it off. I refused to show him that I was shaken up, limbs slightly trembling from the stress. Hongjoong’s face suddenly lost all expression as he stared at me blankly, taking me in for the first time since he’s stepped inside the room. Suddenly, I felt too exposed, vulnerable, as his eyes found mine again. I was wearing nothing but my undergarment and a white shirt which was too big for my frame, the top unbuttoned, falling in a deep V-neck.

It happened fast, I almost didn’t react, as Hongjoong lurched towards me and I jumped back, eyes widening when I noticed the big knife in his hand. Oh, he came here prepared and determined. I gulped as his head slowly turned towards me; hand extended forward as he eyed my dagger. I was outpowered, he didn’t even have to disarm me for me to know. The hatred in his eyes, his ripe muscles, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins could bring my dismay tonight. But I didn’t let those thoughts get to me. If Choi San couldn’t kill me, Kim Hongjoong wouldn’t either. So, instead of waiting for him to attack again, I sprung towards him, dagger raised high as I went to stab him. He blocked the attack with his knife, instantly slicing, my skin burning where he had cut me. I gasped, taken aback, but before I could react he was moving his hand again, forcing me to defend myself as the knife cut my thigh, making me growl as I snapped my head up to glare at him. Hongjoong seemed unphased as he wiped the blood off his knife onto his pants, looking at me with a smug smirk, advancing towards me once again. I panicked for a second and sliced through the air, halting his movements, to my luck, giving me enough momentum to knock the knife out of his hand as I raised my leg, kicking his wrist. Hongjoong didn’t wince, didn’t make a sound. He just looked at his knife before taking off towards me again, making me curse to myself. He was unstoppable, he really cared about one thing only, and that was to kill me. I jabbed towards him, but he just blocked the attack and soon I found my wrist twisted, a cry leaving my lips, as my dagger clattered onto the ground. Hongjoong’s other hand raised but I quickly slapped it away and tried to free my wrist, but I couldn’t. His grip was painfully strong, making me grit my teeth as I tried punching him with my free hand, but he ducked down as if it was nothing. He was angering me. He was letting me use my energy so he’d attack when I was tired, so I stopped, and stared him down. He twisted a little more of my wrist and I almost hissed, but I bit my lip instead and refused to show any weakness. Hongjoong didn’t seem to like that as he swiftly grabbed my neck with his other hand and squeezed hard, making my eyes widen as I clawed at his hand, the air leaving my lungs quickly as I was unprepared for such an attack. And then he slammed me into the wall, knocking out all the air from my lungs, making me choke up as I tried to push him off desperately, feeling helpless as he just watched me blankly.

My lungs started to burn and I hated myself as I looked at him with a pleading look, trying to pull his hand off, but it was futile. And just as I started seeing dark spots around me, his grip loosened up and the air rushed inside my lungs furiously, making me cough as I tried to suck in as much air as possible. He had gotten incredibly strong; it was embarrassing how weak I felt right now. I was good at hand-to-hand combat, I could even fight with a sword, I have killed men twice his size, yet here I was, on the bring of passing out from how hard he was squeezing me, his grip on my wrist still there. I tried to open my mouth and say something, but my mouth felt too dry and I knew my voice would’ve been scratchy, so I just stared at him. I tensed more when suddenly he leaned incredibly close to my face, sneering.

“You’re quite helpless for someone who parades themselves around for being unbeatable.” He mocked me and I glared at him, my sneer mirroring his as I went to push his head away, but he acted faster, yanking me forward into himself. He was just as tense as I was, body firm, as he turned me around roughly, squeezing my body against his. His solid chest pressed against my back. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to pull away, even bit his arm, but he had no reaction as he walked us towards the vanity, bending down on the way for a second. I saw what he picked up and gulped, it was my dagger. He stopped us in front of the big mirror and I hated the way I looked. Cheeks red from fighting so hard and getting chocked, the shirt wrinkled and almost falling off my shoulder, exposing me to Hongjoong. I watched as Hongjoong looked down at my body before our gazes connected through the mirror, my chest rising and falling quickly as he removed the hair from my neck with the hand which held my dagger. He seemed eerily calm for someone who looked so murderous right now. I tried moving away again, but he positioned his arm across my chest and pushed hard against it, holding my chin firmly, exposing my neck. I wanted to ask what he was doing as I felt fear creep up my body, but I didn’t, my pride in the way.

“You should’ve just left after you fucked me, Y/N,” His breath hitting my neck sent goosebumps down my body, “You should’ve just went on with your pathetic life without ruining someone else’s, Y/N. And most importantly—you should’ve never tried to destroy Ateez.”

I scoffed and opened my mouth to jab back at him, when the dagger was suddenly painfully close to my neck, my heart hammering in my chest, “Wait—what are you—”

But the blade pushing against my skin made me almost cry out, thankfully I managed to gulp it down, as suddenly he dragged it down in a straight line. As a reflex I grabbed his arm holding me mobilized against himself, and squeezed it as hard as I could as pain shoot down from my neck to my torso, to my chest. It hurt so much as my skin split open, it felt hot and pulsing, as he dragged it down similarly again, in a different spot, close to the previous slash. I watched through the mirror as blood trickled down my neck, the smell so nauseating that all I could think about was that he was cutting so close to the artery. If he pressed down just a little bit more, I would die. I would be gone. I bit my lower lip harshly as he dragged the dagger across the already split open skin, the area numb as my body was shaking from the excruciating pain and the sight of the blood and the smell of it, from the struggle to bite down my screams and tears. I felt lightheaded as my hold slipped down to his wrist when he brought the dagger close to my skin once again, shaking my head furiously ‘no’, chest starting to shake from the cries which tried to escape through my lips. I was hyperventilating as the wounds were pulsing, hot and cold at the same time, flinching as Hongjoong blew on it as we made eye contact through the mirror. He had a deranged look on his face and he had the audacity to cackle as he leaned down, lips pressing against my ear, making me let out a quiet shudder in fear.

“You wanted what was mine?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t realize he was speaking, “Good, because from this moment on, you’re my property, Y/N. Mine. Every time you will look in the mirror, you will remember who you dared challenge, who you robbed, and turned people against. Kim Hongjoong. Captain of Ateez. The Slayer.”

I whimpered and tried to pull my head away as his lips pressed against the wound, making the burn worse, the blood still trickling down my neck, past my collarbones. I watched through the mirror as he licked my blood off his lips, body still shaking yet feeling numb at the same time. I was so cold. I wanted him to go away.

“You and your crew are mine from now on, one more slip up, Y/N, and I’ll kill Irene right in front of your eyes,” Irene, no, I felt the tears in my eyes, “and then I’ll kill each one of your crew members.”

I shook my head and suddenly he pushed me forward as I felt into the vanity, his body and grip gone from mine as I collapsed down onto the floor, body shaken by the sobs which threatened to spill out. I heard movement behind me, and when I looked back, nobody was in the room with me. Hongjoong was gone. Finally, the tears fell down my cheeks and I started crying loudly, body shaking as I forced myself to stand up, needing to see Irene. Did he hurt her? Was she alright? Did they do anything to her? And the others—Irene’s door was thrown wide open the second I was out of my room, eyes wide as she took in my form. She rushed up to me and quickly led me inside her own room, searching my body frantically for any fatal wounds, but found none. She was talking to me, asking me question, but all I could do was cry and shake my head. I couldn’t even hear her; I didn’t understand her. She realized I needed comfort and quickly hugged me, shushing me and muttering some reassuring words, eyes fixed on the wound on my neck as her own eyes filled with tears, but she remained strong for me, telling me that it would be alright. But no, it wouldn’t be alright. I wanted Hongjoong dead.

            I have never felt so intensely for someone. And they weren’t positive feelings. Once Irene managed to calm me down and clean up my wounds, which was harder than it appeared as I kept hissing and pulling my neck away from her delicate touch, she allowed me to sleep in her bed for the night, too on edge to be left alone. Irene knew the second she saw me what had happened. I didn’t have to tell her that it was Hongjoong, she knew from the look on my face. I felt partially ashamed and totally stupid for having not listened to her and for almost dying by the hands of my sworn enemy. I thought I would be fine, figuring that Hongjoong just wanted to maim me for his own pleasure, but when I looked in the mirror, the world around me silenced for a few seconds. My eyes froze on the open wound on my neck, red and raw from still being so fresh. It wasn’t small at all, screaming in your face once you looked at me, and suddenly I realized my breathing was uneven as Irene watched me with pity in her eyes, averting her gaze once my wild one fell on her. There was the letter ‘H’ carved inside my skin, forever, screaming at whoever dared look at me. I didn’t realize what I was doing until everything was thrown off my vanity, the porcelain little chests breaking, my precious jewelry falling all over the floor. The scream ripping through my throat felt painful and I could hear several footsteps rushing our way as I grabbed the same dagger Hongjoong used and raised it to my neck, making Irene yell out as she was by my side in an instant, gripping my wrist so hard my circulation was certainly cut off.

“What’s happening—” Yeri cut her own question off as her eyes settled on the scene and ran up to us, gripping my arm and forcing it away with Irene’s help, my body shaking as all I could do was stare at the wound on my neck, which would scar, Hongjoong’s initial on my body, in my body, until the day I die, until the day my flesh rots away.

“Y/N!” I could hear Yeri calling out my name again and again, until my cheeks were gripped roughly and my head was turned away from the mirror of the vanity, “Get it together!”

She was the youngest in our crew, yet the strongest, always merciless, always the first to pull the trigger, stab the enemy. She was my master-at-arms, closest to me after Irene.

Yeri’s hard eyes bore into mine and gradually I could finally breathe again, heartbeat slowing down as I gripped her arms, slowly nodding to let her know I was fine. I was fine. Nothing could hurt me. Nobody could hurt me. I was fine. Cautiously, Yeri released me and I allowed her arms to drop down next to her body as I let go of her as well, looking towards the doorway, where the rest of my closest friends and crew stood, eyes wide at the unfolding scene in front of them. That is until Joy’s eyes fell on the ugly wound on my neck, and she gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth.

“We’re leaving right now.” I spoke up, voice hard as I composed myself, pulling my hair to the front, covering the wound until Irene helped me place gauze on it, “We need to be at the Sun Set Kingdom in two weeks, but before that—a pirate crew needs to learn their lesson.”

And they did learn it as in five days we found them sailing towards the South Kingdom, not too far away from their shore. We’d been on the hunt ever since we left the Sun Rise Kingdom, determined to catch a whiff of their route, Wendy having not slept for three days now as she tried to find the route Ateez was using. It was laughable how quickly and easily we found them, for having the most feared reputation, they weren’t very good at being undetected. It was late in the night when I finally spotted their ship through my binoculars and a smirk crept up onto my lips as I called out to Irene, her body tensing when she saw me. She was against getting revenge on them, but I wasn’t about to let them get away so easily. If Hongjoong could threaten me in the middle of the night, in the safety of my chamber’s, I would do the same thing. We weren’t here to kill them; we were here to warn them. Pull something like that again Hongjoong, and I will gut Seonghwa in front of your two pretty eyes before I kill off the rest of your precious companions.

“Tell Seulgi to load the cannons.” I commanded to Irene as she shook her head in disappointment before taking off towards the previously mentioned woman, “Wendy! You’ll get two days off after tonight.”

The short-haired woman grinned at me as she pulled on the sail of the main mast, the wind taking us straight towards Hongjoong’s ship. The ship was quiet, a few sailors asleep on deck as we neared them without disrupting the waters, ready at any moment to attack. As something big and shiny caught my attention, I looked through the binoculars, gasping once my eyes fell on a fish-like creature. Mermaids. They were real? I stood frozen to my spot, gears turning in my head, watching the creature as it floated numbly in its cage, probably asleep…or dead. But why would it be dead? Certainly it must cost more alive than dead? And then it clicked, and I smirked as I called over Irene with a wave of my hand, handing the binoculars to her and angling her head to see what I was looking at just seconds ago. She gasped as she looked at me taken aback, before looking back into the binoculars.

“They are real…” She whispered to herself, all the stories in our folklore true after all, “What will they do with her?”

I smirked and took the shotgun Irene was holding, checking if it was fully loaded, “Probably sell her somewhere in the South and make enough money for a lifetime, we can’t let them have that, can we?”

Irene’s eyes darkened as she shook her head, the same hatred I felt towards Ateez finally seeping into her own bloodstream, “Do you want everyone dead, Captain?”

I chuckled, raising my left arm high up in the air, “No, I just want them close to sinking.” And as I brought my arm down, the first cannon went off, sending a fireball surging through the air, hitting the side of Ateez’ ship in a way so perfect I couldn’t have angled it better myself. Eyes focusing on the cage the mermaid was held in, I calculated approximately where I had to shoot in order to break her glass cage, gunshots and fireballs flying overhead as the enemy ship came to life, men shouting and running around deck, trying to counter our attacks. My only focus was on pulling the trigger at the right time, and I did, then two more times, checking in the binoculars to see if my aim was correct. The mermaid seemed to sprung to life as she swirled around in her glass cage, slamming against it. Hongjoong could never stop me, I wouldn’t allow it. He can maim me as much as he wants, he can carve his whole name on my body, and I still won’t stop, still won’t back down. Not when he thinks he can have everything, not when he takes everything. And as I lowered my binoculars, I could see him standing tall on the quarterdeck, his own binocular lowering at the same time as mine. Despite the distance between our ships, I could feel his burning stare, I could feel his hatred, I could hear his curses, I could feel the burning want to kill me. Yet all I could do was smirk to myself and bow dramatically, knowing very well he was watching, mouthing to myself for him to enjoy the show. Nobody was let off easy after attacking Lee Y/N, Captain of Red Velvet, The Nightfury.

            The Heavens were on our side as we arrived safe and sound in the Sun Set Kingdom. Our journey took two weeks, as expected, the crew exhausted as we finally docked down close to the uninhabited island of the small Kingdom, the waves rocking the ship violently. The sky had significantly darkened as the wind picked up, Irene looking off in the distance with a frown on her face. The little island was right in front of us, not even a five-minute boat ride away. I tied my long hair in a low ponytail and checked if I had all my daggers on me, my sword sitting snugly against my waist, the new leather pants I was wearing rather restricting at the moment.

“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Irene’s voice was laced with worry as she took her binoculars out of her pouch and looked off in the distance. The little island had a small cave, it was Siwon and I’s meeting point. It wasn’t too deep, but it was enough to conceal the real world from seeing the business’ that went down, far from the eyes of constables and the Night watch of the mainland.

“Yes,” I hummed as I glanced at Irene, “However, a weird feeling came over me last night—”

“I told you this doesn’t feel right!” Irene snapped and I sighed, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“I know what I’m doing, Irene, and if anything goes wrong—”

“Nothing will go wrong!” Irene cut me off again, eyes narrowed at me.

“If anything goes wrong,” I repeated my sentence, glaring lightly at her, “then you know what to do. You take this crew away from here to safety and you become the new Captain.”

Irene gulped, gripping my arm hard, pulling me in closer, “I can’t lose you, Y/N, you must take care of yourself and if anything happens—you know how to let us know.”

I nodded and offered her a soft smile as Irene pushed her forehead against mine as a way of greeting. The people from the North might not have been the verbally affectionate kind, but we always showed our care physically. Acts of service and physical closeness paid a rather important role in our lives. Forehead touching was a way of greeting between family and close friends. We pulled away at the same time and Irene’s eyes hardened as she released me, my own face slipping into a mask of coldness, as I turned towards my crew, who were waiting excitedly for me to take off towards the island. Towards our freedom.

“When I return, we will be rich,” I spoke up, voice loud and hard, “When I return, we won’t have to live the pirate life for much longer. When I return…we shall find our paradise!”

The crew cheered loudly as they raised their swords in the air, eyes glinting hungrily for the promised future, for the future we’ve all been working hard towards, craving desperately. Greed was a vicious thing, but our drive to finally be free was even stronger. I nodded confidently as I threw Irene a last glance before taking off towards the little boat floating in the water, the waves rocking it rather harshly. The wind didn’t relent, picking up even more as my arms strained as I climbed down the rope to reach the boat. My feet landed with a loud thumb and I tumbled a bit as a big wave crashed into the boat, wetting my new shoes and leather pants. I groaned and took the paddles into my hands as I sat down, paddling away from the safety of my ship, of my crew, towards the deserted island with the singular cave sitting on the surface of it. It wasn’t the first time I came here, but something felt off right now. I wasn’t lying to Irene; I did mean what I said. I got a strange feeling last night while I tried falling asleep, a voice in my head asking whether this was truly safe? Whether Siwon was telling the truth? Did I trust him this time? What guarantee did I have that he wasn’t trying to fuck me over once again? But the greed and drive towards freedom was stronger than the voices in my head, stronger than the gut feeling, which was getting stronger and stronger by the minute, trying to turn me back towards my ship, telling me to leave as fast as possible. There were no other ships in the distance, just six other little boats as I arrived to the shore of the island, meaning that Siwon and his men were already here. They didn’t need a ship, as I glanced back towards my own, I could see the mainland from here, blurry because of the distance, but there. It would only take half a day to paddle out here by boat. I secured my own, so that the waves wouldn’t wash it away, and hopped out of it, the sea cold against my boots. The wind picked at my hair, the stray strands falling messily and getting into my eyes as I hurried towards the cave, hissing when the water became ankle deep. This wasn’t how I imagined I would ruin my new clothing, but I guess I’d do anything to be free.

The wind was loud on the inside of the cave as it blew at the entrance, and I glanced back as the waves crashed against the rocks. I had to jump over a few more as I walked further inside, the sunlight slowly disappearing as the cave was lit up by torches placed on the wall. Another sign that Siwon was already here. I walked cautiously, hand on the handle of my dagger as I glanced behind me, my gut feeling worsening by second. But I couldn’t turn back, not now. Not when I was so close. My feet padded against the sand quietly and suddenly, as I took a turn to the left, voices resounded around me, echoing from the wide, open chamber of the cave I came face to face with. Twenty men at least were sitting around, some on the rocks, some on the sand as they conversed, looking rather casual. Siwon was sharpening his knives as he sat back against a wooden chair, slumped in his seat. He must’ve felt my gaze on him because he looked up, body tensing and whistling loudly. All the other men suddenly stood up straight, their eyes fixed on me as I walked further inside, looking around warily. The air was tense and my gut was screaming at me to just turn around and leave, I still could do it. I could still change my mind; it wasn’t too late. But Siwon’s face suddenly morphed into a smile, too friendly, too casual.

“Welcome, Miss Lee!” He called out loudly, arms spread wide open, “We’ve been excitedly waiting for you arrival.”

I chuckled to myself, stopping a respectable distance away from him and his men, who watched me as if I were their prey, “Yeah, I can tell.”

My voice dripped with sarcasm, but Siwon didn’t comment on it as he just continued smiling, it was too fake, “I can tell you were eager to help me out, I’ve never gotten an answer back from you so fast before.”

I forced a smile on my face as I noticed two guys approaching me from my peripheral, “You made it sound urgent in your letter, Siwon, so I came as fast as I could.”

“And did you come alone?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched me with curious eyes. I was aware of the men behind me, but they have stopped advancing towards me.

“Here? Yeah,” I nodded, narrowing my eyes, “That’s how our deal was, but I didn’t come by myself to the island, Siwon.”

“Left your crew on the sea?” He was prodding, tone too casual for someone who looked visibly tense.

“No, they are by the entrance of the cave,” I lied through my teeth, smiling slyly at him, “So don’t even think about pulling any tricks on me.”

Siwon hummed deep in thought as he looked at the man behind me, and I glanced their way, my face hard and eyes glaring. They didn’t seem phased as they stood like guard dogs, eyeing Siwon every once in a while, waiting for an order. Pathetic.

“Where are the jewels?” I raised my eyebrows as I walked towards the man, arms crossed in front of my chest. The men closest to Siwon gripped the handle of their swords, but I ignored them. There was a muffled sound coming from the left, further inside the cave, a little bit away from the mass of men gathered around me. Four men seemed to be crowding around something, obscuring my view from the thing in question. Perhaps that’s where the jewel was.

“Oh, you know,” Siwon scratched the back of his head, looking innocently at me, “I forgot to bring it—”

“What?!” My voice was hard as I snapped, eyes turning into slits as I glared at the cocky man standing a few feet away from me. The torch lit chamber casted a sinister light over his smile, but it didn’t scare me. I risked my life coming here, by being so close to the Sun Set Kingdom. If anyone saw our ship and reported to the constables, they could be on their way already, ready to kill my crew. The crew I currently wasn’t with and what’s a Captain good for if she has no crew?

“I have so many customers, Y/N, you know how business works,” Siwon spoke up casually, folding his hands in front of his legs as he leaned against the wooden chair’s back casually, “Sometimes you hit it big, sometimes you get zero profit, which sucks. A lot. You know I love you the most, especially when your payment is the highest, but lately—you’ve been quite disappointing.”

“I only pay for the quality of what I get from you, Siwon.” I countered, scoffing, “And your merch has been quite shit, lately. Don’t expect me to throw coins at you, when you don’t deserve said amount.”

Siwon grinned, and shook his head, “This is where our problem starts, Miss Lee. I don’t like it when nasty pirates tell me what’s the worth of my own products, thinking they know better, when they don’t.”

I chuckled sarcastically, raising my eyebrows at him, “You think us nasty pirates don’t know the real worth of your products? How many items you think we see on a daily basis which are precious and which are scum? I can differentiate a real golden coin from a fake one just by one glance. Tell me what your real problem with me is and we can work it out—”

“No.” Siwon’s voice got harsh, eyes widening at me in annoyance, “We can’t work it out. Not anymore. I’ve had enough of your games, of you looking down on me.”

“Siwon—”

“Shut up!” Siwon’s deep voice boomed in the cave, echoing around us as I flinched, taken aback. He’s never acted like this before, I’ve always thought he was a dumb imbecile, trying to sell off any goods he found at the local market, sometimes getting his hands on good stuff, but most of times on nothing really significant. He raised his hand and waved over the other four men who were away from the group and I tensed as I gripped the handle of my sword, noticing Siwon’s men mirroring my stance.

“You have no idea how delightful it is to have you in one place,” Siwon chuckled, the sound echoing around us, “To finally have the two of you in one place, without the presence of your crew. Defenseless and up to my mercy.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the four men, noticing that they were dragging someone towards our group. Who was the two of us? Did Siwon set up a trap? For me and for—my eyes widened as I lost my composure for one second as the person in question was forced to his knees a few feet away from me. Head lulled forward and a bruise already forming on his jaw, his hair was blonder since the last time I saw him. Which was two weeks ago. Two weeks which weren’t enough for me to process my feelings, for my hatred to settle down a bit. The burning flame inside my chest was ignited back to life as Hongjoong raised his head, lazily opening his eyes, gaze falling on me. His eyes widened before they darkened instantly, his eyes mirroring the hatred I felt towards him. His face scrunched up in disgust as he sneered at me, tugging on the grip the two men had on him, as if trying to reach me. Siwon was long forgotten as I gripped the handle of my sword with a deadly grip, on the verge of pulling it out of its holder and slicing Hongjoong’s head off. All I could see was red. All I could feel was the blood dripping down my neck, my collarbones. All I could feel was the sudden itching of the scar on my neck, of the mark he made on me, maiming me and claiming me as his.

“You!” I spat out, taking off towards him, but I didn’t get too close to him as someone grabbed me by my forearm, halting me in my steps. I snapped my head around and growled at them, starting to pull my arm away, when Siwon’s laughter echoed in the chamber. My head whipped towards him at the same time Hongjoong’s and I could feel my heartbeat pick up.

“How hilarious,” Siwon managed to say between laughs, “I don’t even have to dirty my hands with your blood. By the looks of it, you’ll kill each other before my men can get to you.”

“Try me, you bitch!” Hongjoong barked at Siwon, violently trying to tug himself free, but the two men just harshly forced him back onto his feet. I glanced at Hongjoong before looking back at Siwon, his words registering in my brain. This was a trap, of course. Irene was right. My gut feeling was right. Siwon wanted us both dead. I glanced back at Hongjoong, our eyes connecting as he seemed to have the same realization I just had, eyes glossing over in thought. I wasn’t going to die tonight. I didn’t care if Hongjoong did, but one thing was certain, I couldn’t kill all twenty-four men by myself. I gulped as I glanced back at Siwon then at Hongjoong, who was biting his lower lip, already looking at me. Our faces were unreadable and his eyes narrowed at me as he raised one eyebrow. I hated this. I hated that I had to work together with the man I hated the most in order if I wanted to live another day. But I really had no choice. So, very subtly, I nodded my head as I slightly pulled my sword up, letting Hongjoong know that I understood. That I agreed. That I was ready to fight alongside him to save ourselves.

Siwon suddenly tsked and both Hongjoong and I looked at him as he opened his mouth, “Kill them.” And it all happened at once. I drew my sword out of its holder fully and stepped on the man’s toes who was holding me harshly as he released me, allowing me to finish him off as my sword went through his middle. Hongjoong knocked his elbows backwards harshly, unbalancing the two men holding him, allowing him the momentum to jump up and kick backwards as he freed himself, drawing out two swords from their holders before slicing his attackers necks, the two dropping dead on the cold sand of the cave. I whirled around as two men came running towards me, swords drawn, attacking fearlessly and furiously as they threw daggers my way. I dodged their attack and ducked down before stabbing one through the stomach, barely avoiding the other one as he aimed for my neck, making me hiss. Our gazes connected, but for a split second he glanced behind me, unconsciously letting me know that someone was there, about to attack, and so I whirled around and stopped their attack midair, the clanking of our swords loud as all you could hear were grunts and metal against metal, Hongjoong growling every few seconds as he slayed everyone who dared go his way. The man was rather talented with his sword and he sliced my arm, making me hiss as I jumped back just in time, preventing my arm from getting cut off, but quickly jumped forward and jabbed him in the ribs, making the man cry out. More cries came from behind me, but I couldn’t glance back as men ran my way, my sole focus on killing everyone who tried to kill me. I wanted to get my hands on Siwon, to kill him, to watch him in the eyes as he let out his last breath. My sword was up in the air, pressing against the man’s sword I was currently fighting, when a dangerously close metal clanking resounded in my ears. Hongjoong was panting as he blocked the attacker who tried to attack me from behind, our gazes connecting for a second as I noted my arms were becoming sore from the relentless attacks and defending. My focus was back on the man attacking me as Hongjoong cut the other man’s head off, the sight too much for even myself. There was a reason he earned his Slayer reputation. He was ruthless in battle, and fearless. Nobody dared challenge him, not even the best fighters. These men had nothing on him as he kept killing and killing them, only five standing on their feet as I killed another one, panting as sweat dripped down my forehead, my neck. I took in deep breaths as I felt Hongjoong’s back collide into mine, the remaining five men circling us, walking around us tauntingly, sneering and throwing in jabs. They looked at us like we were scared animals covering in a cage, but we were far from that. We’d live, and they’d die. Hongjoong had two swords, so I pulled my dagger out of my boot as I smirked at the man from across me, powerfully throwing it towards him, his eyes widening as it entered through his Adam’s Apple, blood spurting out and down his body as he fell backwards, choking and gripping the dagger in a panicked manner. Hongjoong chuckled as he saw, then lurched forward and sliced the man’s neck, three more remaining as they started looking uneasy. They knew their imminent fate and I decided to make it fast as I dropped my sword and pulled out my second dagger, running towards the one to my left and kicking his wrist harshly when he raised his arm to slash at me with his sword, whirling around as my dagger went through his clothes and flesh, straight to his heart. He gasped as I pulled out the dagger, watching him drop to the ground before Hongjoong killed the man charging at me, slicing the last one’s head off.

We were panting as we looked around, checking for a sign of life in the wreck we’ve left in our wake, my wrists numb as I dropped my dagger, doubling over in order to breathe in more air, lungs screaming in exhaustion. The stench of blood was horrible and I gagged, bringing my palm to my nose, trying to conceal the smell. Hongjoong shuffled next to me and I suddenly stiffened, standing up straight to look at him.

“He’s not here,” He muttered, more to himself, eyes searching the chamber of the cavern, “Siwon, that motherfucker—when I find him, he’ll be dead in no second.”

I scoffed, picking up my dagger as I walked over to the dead guy I killed with my other one, “I can’t believe he managed to fool the both of us.”

Hongjoong hummed but it went quiet as I pulled the dagger out from the dead man’s Adam’s Apple, realizing I had my back turned to the enemy. The real enemy. I whirled around, daggers ready if I had to pounce on him, but Hongjoong hadn’t approached me yet. His sword was ready, eyes narrowed as he watched me. We didn’t say anything as we stared each other down, expressions hardened as neither one of us moved. My hatred returned full force and I spat next to me, feeling that fire burn my whole body as I hurried towards him, dagger pressed against his throat in no time. Hongjoong smirked at me as he raised his eyebrows, pressing his sword against my leg as a warning. It cut into my leather pants, and if he ruined them more, I would kill him.

“You’re acting rather aggressive with your savior, Y/N—”

“I could’ve killed them on my own too!” I snapped, breathing hard as Hongjoong remained cocky, rather relaxed for someone who had a dagger pressed against their neck.

“No, you couldn’t have, and we both know it.” His answer was smug and I growled as I pushed the dagger more into his skin, drawing blood. Hongjoong’s jaw clenched and a harsh grip on my waist suddenly made my breathing falter for a second.

“You’re playing with fire, again.” His words were quiet but tone authoritative as if he was talking to one of his crew members. It made my blood boil and I was seething, hating the look in his eyes. Hating the upper hand he still seemed to have on me, and when his eyes fell on my neck, on my scar, I felt like screaming. I felt like slashing that dagger across his neck, watching the blood spurt out onto my face, the warmth bringing goosebumps onto my skin as it trailed down my face. But I didn’t. I lessened the pressure from his neck, but didn’t lower my dagger just yet.

“You expect me to be nice after you maimed me?!” My voice rose a few octaves as his eyes finally connected with mine, looking quite pleased with himself.

“I didn’t maim you, I marked you—”

“You maimed me!” I screamed, hating that I was letting my emotions come through as my face contorted into disgust. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore, scared that I’d catch a glimpse of the letter carved into my skin permanently.

“I marked you,” Hongjoong hissed, grip tightening on my waist, “You should have thought twice before messing with me, Y/N, I hope you learned your place because I don’t feel like killing you just yet.”

I scoffed, but then allowed a smirk to appear on my lips, raising an eyebrow at him, “How’s your ship? Did you fix it? Or did it sink—”

“I will make you pay for it.” Hongjoong’s voice hardened and I leaned closer in, inches away from his face, still smirking.

“What are you waiting for? We both know you won’t kill me.” I spoke sweetly, tauntingly, “You should’ve just fucked me and forgotten about me, Hongjoong.”

It felt good using his own words against him, it almost made me cackle. Hongjoong hissed and pushed me away from his body by my waist, making me chuckle as he proved that I was right. Of course I was right. I could see right through him right now, his eyes gave it away as he looked away, taking off towards the exit. The cave was eerily silent as I followed after him, debating whether to say something or remain quiet as Hongjoong wouldn’t look my way. Silence was fine by me, I didn’t have much to say either way, just a couple of insults I knew would tick Hongjoong the right way, but then he might just actually kill me.

“Let’s call a truce,” My eyes widened as he spoke up first, almost by the end of the cave, the water washed against our boots, “For a week, until we get far enough from each other. But after that—I won’t show any more mercy.”

“I don’t want you to show mercy,” I scoffed, noting how the wind howled violently outside, that wasn’t good, “I’m not a helpless little girl. I’m a feared pirate just like you, I can take care of myself and of my crew.”

Hongjoong hummed, and after a second glanced back at me, “I know. I’ve always respected you for that.”

My eyes widened as he turned back towards the front, surprising me. Not many men respected women, especially not when you were pirates and especially not when your whole crew was made out of women. As the water reached ankle deep and we stepped around the rocks, it became quite obvious that there was a ragging storm outside. That meant we couldn’t paddle back to our respective ships. That was bad. Hongjoong stopped as he reached the exit, pulling back as the waves crashed violently against the shore, the wind blowing strongly and howling where we stood. Fuck. I sighed as I looked off in the distance, the heavy rain concealing my ship. But I knew the girls were fine as they were close to the shore, the storm not as violent here as in the open sea.

“We can’t go back.” Hongjoong muttered and I nodded, glancing at him from my peripheral.

“I hope the storm passes by the morning.” I agreed with him, making Hongjoong sigh as he rubbed his forehead.

“Jongho and Wooyoung said nothing about a storm coming—”

“We’re close to the Black Ocean and the Ragging Sea, the weather is unpredictable here.” I told Hongjoong as we turned to face each other, “We shouldn’t stay here unless we want a wave to crash into us and take us out into the sea.”

“I know,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, giving me a glare as he started walking back inside the cave, “We can set up a fire and sleep here tonight.”

I scoffed as I followed after him, “As if I’ll sleep next to you.”

“You won’t have much of a choice, unless you want the dead men as your companion—”

“Shut up,” I snapped, glaring at him as I walked past him, “I hope the sea swallows up Siwon.”

“Wouldn’t be as satisfying as cutting his head off—”

“Did you find a mermaid?” I heard Hongjoong pause for a second behind me as we jumped over the rocks, walking through the ankle-deep water.

“It was a siren, not a mermaid, those don’t exist—”

“How do you know?”

“The creature told us—well, mostly Jongho. I don’t know, they were weird.” I glanced back at Hongjoong as we walked further inside the cave, away from the howling wind and the sea. His eyebrows were furrowed as he shook his head, it made me chuckle.

“What? Did your little crew guy fall in love with the siren?” It was an assumption, but Hongjoong’s suddenly tense stature gave it away and my own eyes widened as I fully looked at him, quite intrigued, “Wait, seriously?!”

“He’s been obsessed with those things ever since his childhood,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes as if he still believed sirens were merely fairytales, “but I didn’t think he’d actually fall for one. I have a feeling she follows us around; I keep hearing Jongho talking to someone when we’re sailing through the Ragging Sea but when I check, he’s alone and walking away from the railing.”

I chuckled and looked at him with a taunting smile, “I didn’t know your crew was made up of little boys—”

“It’s not.” Hongjoong snapped and gave me a threatening glare, “But I won’t stop anyone from being themselves. Jongho has his own culture which has different believes than the other ones, I won’t strip that away from him.”

And suddenly realization dawned on me. Four years ago, when I told him I was from the North, he brought up one if his crew members, “Is he from the North?”

Hongjoong nodded wordlessly and we didn’t speak anymore as we reached the sand, Hongjoong throwing his swords down and taking off his vest, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. I placed down my weapons as well and untied my hair from the ponytail, massaging my scalp as Hongjoong glanced at me before walking off, headed towards the open chamber filled with the dead men. We decided to settle down just before the turn to the left, not quite fond of sharing a space with twenty-four dead men. At least there wasn’t a stench here made by them and we wouldn’t see them thank to the turn.

            After Hongjoong brought back the wooden chair Siwon used as his pathetic throne and ripping it to pieces, we set the fire, using a torch and snitching some rum from the dead men having left behind for us to consume. We found a chest filled with some blanket and a few cutting instruments, but nothing which could be useful for us tonight in any significant way, so we left those alone. The fire burned strongly, embers jumping out from it from time to time, but we sat a respectful distance away, not keen of getting burned alive. Hongjoong had his shirt unbuttoned and the ends of his pants pulled up to his knees, both of our boots long disregarded, the fine sand quite pleasant against my skin. It was smoother than any sand I have stepped on before. I had my hair in a bun and had gotten rid of my corset, wishing I could take off my tight leather pants as well, but Hongjoong was around, I didn’t want him gawking at my legs. We had settled into a comfortable silence, surprisingly, as we passed the bottle of rum between the two of us, sipping on it quietly. It burned my throat each time I gulped it down, but the taste wasn’t too bad, being it one of the finer brands. Siwon was shallow like that, despite having little money, he’d spend it on the most expensive things, indebting himself to anyone who allowed it. It was truly pathetic. I hope the sea swallowed him whole. As I placed the bottle between the two us, not sitting too far apart, but not too close either, I felt Hongjoong’s sharp gaze bore into the side of my head. He’s been looking at me for quite some time now, but I continued ignoring him, until it became annoying and I huffed, whipping my head around to face him. He didn’t look away, to my surprise, just continued looking at me, taking in my face. So I did the same thing to him. I allowed my eyes to run over his blonde hair, his mullet significantly having gotten longer compared to four years ago, now it reached his shoulders at the back. His cat-like eyes were still rimmed with black eye-liner, smudged at this point from having sweat a lot. His face had gotten sharper, jaw more defined and nose standing tall. His lips were red and his cheeks were flushed from the rum we’ve been drinking for a while now. Despite that, I felt sober. My thoughts clear, my vision just alright, body still alert as I was still sharing a drink with my enemy. Yet somehow, Hongjoong looked peaceful right now, eyebrows not furrowed for once, eyes not glaring for once. I knew he hated me, I could see it still, but it was rather subdued as we continued looking at each other wordlessly. It impressed me how many people he killed tonight, how many he beheaded. That was a very hard task, it demanded a lot of strength and force, yet Hongjoong seemed to do it like it was simply nothing. His gaze became a little bit too much so I turned away, looking at the fire as I cleared my throat, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them with my arms.

“Why have you been trying to sabotage me for the past four years?” Hongjoong’s question took me off guard. He didn’t speak too loudly, voice laced with curiosity as his gaze continued burning into the side of my head. I could tell him the truth or I could lie to him. I didn’t find a reason to do the later.

“Because nobody takes women seriously in our society, especially a crew full of them calling themselves pirates,” I spoke up, voice laced with disdain as I glared into the flames, “I didn’t have anything against you at the beginning, but then you started taking all the good stuff away from us. We’d get our hands on second-hands only, things which were useless while the merchants demanded an obnoxious sum for them. They were laughing at us, trying to fuck us over thinking we were dumb. I tried everything before I decided to bribe the people who worked for you. It wasn’t the easiest, but I have my ways. And when people still didn’t take us too seriously, we decided to become what real pirates are. Merciless, vile, and dangerous. If we didn’t rob the other ships in the middle of the night we would be long dead.”

Hongjoong remained silent, and I glanced at him, realizing he was also staring at the flames now, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned back on his hands, “You know, four years ago when we met in that Inn…I knew you were acting. With that man, and then afterwards with me.”

My eyes widened and I turned my head, looking at Hongjoong surprised. He had an amused smile on his lips as he glanced at me, “I saw you in the market earlier that day, acting quite different than at the Inn. And I heard when your second-in-command called you Captain, too.”

“Then why did you interfere?” I asked with my mouth hanging open, always having been convinced that Hongjoong fell for my act.

“Because I was intrigued,” Hongjoong confessed, turning his head to look me in the eyes, “I wanted to find out who you were and what you did. And you were also really beautiful.”

The information had to sit for a moment as I repeated Hongjoong’s words in my head, chuckling, “I were?”

That shouldn’t have been my most important concern right now, but I couldn’t help it as Hongjoong’s eyes slightly hardened, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he gulped, “You still are.”

I bit my lower and blamed his honesty on the alcohol, knowing that he’d never confess such thing to me normally. Not when he wanted me dead so badly.

“You should’ve just minded your own business,” I found myself whispering as I looked at the sand, “At the Inn, that night, you should’ve—just walked away. Left me alone. I knew what I was doing, maybe that way we would’ve never gotten here.”

“You mean to hating each other? To wanting the other dead?” Hongjoong scoffed, voice hardening suddenly, “Then you shouldn’t have meddled with my business, Y/N. Because you almost ruined everything for my crew. For me. Everything that my father has built from scratch!”

I rolled my eyes before looking back at him, noticing the annoyance in his voice as he stared at me with a newfound spark in his eyes, “You almost killed us all. My crew, my brothers, we could’ve lost everything if I didn’t know the right people, pulled the right strings.”

“You think you were the only one struggling?” I raised my voice unwillingly, getting fired up by his accusation, “Did you not hear what I just told you minutes ago, Hongjoong? Men walked all over us every day, no matter what we did!”

“Is it my fault you were born women?!” I scoffed at his incredulous question, glaring at him hard.

“Of course not, I don’t know why I expected you to understand me when you had everything handed to you ready!”

“I had everything handed to me ready?!” Hongjoong’s voice raised too, eyes widening, “My mother died in front of me from a flu! I cried myself to sleep for two years after her death until my father threatened to abandon me if I didn’t toughen up because I was a man! A pirate. And then we found Seonghwa and I finally found some happiness. He understood my struggles! I was only fifteen when my father died right in front of me—”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Hongjoong, who’s eyes were filling with hatred second by second, “Because I don’t give a fuck about your life, Hongjoong. You think I have parents at home who are waiting for me with open arms? I got sent to a war when I was thirteen! And they kicked me out after I told them I wanted to become an actress! When I visited them years later and told them I was finally making a living for myself by owning a small ship and having a small crew they—they disowned me!”

“You expect your sob story to make me feel sorry for you?” Hongjoong’s words felt like a slap in my face, my own words ringing in my ears as my hands turned into fists, making me glare at him, “I don’t feel sorry for you at all, Y/N. You’re a bad person and you deserved everything—”

I snapped. I grabbed the dagger laying to my left and got on top of Hongjoong so fast the air was knocked out of his lungs as I pushed him back against the sand, dagger digging into his neck. My heart was beating fast and my head was swimming with the words he said seconds ago, vision blurring for a second from the tears which sprung into my eyes. But I blinked them away, staring down at Hongjoong with hatred, sneering at him as his eyes hardened, glaring up at me.

“I hate you,” I gasped out breathlessly, hand shaking as the fury consummated my bloodstream, “you maimed me for life. You carved your initial into my skin, Hongjoong. I can’t even look in the mirror anymore because I get disgusted. You ruined me. I have to cover it up if I go out in public. I hate it when my girls look at me with pity each time their eyes accidentally fall on the scar. I hate you so much. I want to kill you. I want you dead. I want to never see you again, I want—”

“Kill me.” Hongjoong’s chest was falling and rising quickly, lips parted as he stared up at me, the same fire I felt inside my body reflected in his own eyes, “Kill me, and Seonghwa will have you dead at the break of dawn.”

“And Irene will have his head for that.” I snapped, eyes desperately trying not to fall on his lips as he craned his neck, cutting his own skin with the blade of my dagger.

“San will kill her.”

“Yeri will kill him.”

Hongjoong opened his mouth but nothing ever came out of it as we stared into each other’s eyes, hearts beating fast as my grip loosened on the dagger. I hated him, I truly did. But something didn’t let me kill him just yet, I just couldn’t do it. And the longer I stared at him the more I realized how beautiful he was, how attracted I still was to him. In a second of confusion and anger, I threw my dagger away and crashed my lips against Hongjoong’s, a small gasp leaving his lips as I pressed down harshly against his, holding his cheeks with both hands. He reacted quickly, arms wrapping around my middle as his kiss was feverish, reciprocating my hungry ones with the same force and hunger I suddenly felt towards him. My heart was racing in my chest and my cheeks were flushed as I felt hot from the rum, Hongjoong’s hands travelling up my torso until his hands were at the front of my shirt. I pulled back and sat on top of him as he raised up too, ripping the shirt apart, buttons flying everywhere. His eyes fell on the black cloth wrapped around my body and with shaky fingers I undid the three buttons holding them snugly against my torso, unwrapping the fabric from my body. I shivered as my torso was now naked, Hongjoong’s eyes falling on my breasts before he leaned forward, pressing long and wet kisses against my collarbones, sucking at some points, making me fist his hair between my fingers as I bit back moans. I refused to let him hear me, not tonight. His kisses traveled up and I gasped when he paused at the scar, pulling away to look me in the eyes before he licked it, goosebumps erupting on my skin from the feeling, biting my lip harshly, refusing to let out any sounds. Hongjoong’s eyes found mine again and he kissed me, tongue pushing in my mouth as I sucked on it, making Hongjoong moan, a smirk appearing on my lips. As I circled my arms around his neck, he suddenly gripped my waist and flipped us, his body pressing against mine. I pulled back and bit his lower lip until he growled, drawing blood. He glared at me and pulled back as he started undoing his pants, my eyes falling down his torso, fingers reaching out to trace his skin, making Hongjoong gulp audibly. His pants were down and he was semi-hard already, his eyes falling onto my pants as I got to work, undoing the lace in order to push them down. It felt amazing to finally have them off my body, and I shivered as Hongjoong traced his finger against my skin as he pulled the fabric down. Not having been with a man in more than two weeks got to me and I didn’t need much as Hongjoong could make me feel things nobody else could, making me hate him even more. He kissed up my leg, keeping eye contact and it made me want to crawl up a wall, vagina clenching around nothing as his lips brushed against my knee before he littered more kisses up my thighs, close to my crotch but not quite there. I groaned as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of my thigh, biting hard, making me grip his hair as I tried to push his head away, but he only bit harder, making me yelp as he looked at me satisfied. Why did he like seeing me in pain? He released the skin with a pop and as I looked down, his teeth mark remained, slightly having drawn blood, making me curse at him quietly, Hongjoong chuckled as he had heard me.

He never touch where I needed him the most and I was about to snap at him as he suddenly gripped me firmly and flipped me over, my eyes widening as I pushed up to all fours, resting on my forearms. I was breathing fast, still clenching around nothing and as I looked back, Hongjoong pumped himself fast, biting his lips. He suddenly looked at me as he aligned himself with my entrance and I closed my eyes shut as he pushed inside, walls clamping down on his member instantly, moving in painfully slow until he bottomed out. I felt him shudder behind me and I pushed my ass back, asking for him to move, for any friction as he started moving excruciatingly slow, setting a dreadful rhythm as I tried pushing my hips back to meet his thrusts, but his hands on my waist stopped me from doing so. He was panting as he enjoyed torturing me, until he probably had enough himself and picked up his pace, going faster and faster until the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around us with my muffled whines as I bit into my hand, Hongjoong groaning with each thrust. I started meeting him halfway, feeling the familiar coil in my lower abdomen as Hongjoong started slamming back in faster and stronger, hitting a spot all too familiar as a loud moan slipped through my lips, walls clenching around him, making him moan too.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He rasped out, grabbing my hair which was in a bun, as he continued with the brutal pace he’s set, hitting the spot over and over again, making my toes curl and my back bend more, moans falling repeatedly from my lips. I was so close, and as Hongjoong gyrated his hips while thrusting, it tipped me off the edge and I came undone, moaning his name loudly, him finishing not long after, hips stuttering as he came to a stop slowly, member still inside as he was panting, still gripping my hair. My chest was falling and rising quickly, mouth hung open from the sensations, never having experienced a feeling such strong with any other man before. Hongjoong pulled out and slowly rolled me onto my back, sitting back in between my legs as I stared up at him. His face was flushed and I looked at his hands as he let them rest on my thighs, rubbing circles into them.

“If you don’t stop sabotaging me, I will send San to kill you.” His voice was raspy, but his words made me chuckle.

“You’ve sent him once and I’m still alive, what makes you think he’ll succeed a second time?” I raised my eyebrows and Hongjoong glared at me, “If you want me to die, you will have to kill me yourself. Watch me in the eyes when you plunge that knife deep inside my heart—”

My words got quickly muffled by Hongjoong’s lips as he pressed them against mine hurriedly, kissing me messily, hand going around my neck firmly, gripping it but not squeezing. I kissed him back with the same energy, hooking my legs around his hips as I pulled his body closer to mine, fingers threading through the longer strands of his mullet. Hongjoong pulled back from the kiss, but his lips brushed against mine lightly as he stared me down, eyes glaring. I licked at his lips, making his glare deepen as he pulled back a little bit more.

“You’re mine,” His forefinger suddenly pressed harder into the scar on my neck, “And I can do whatever I want to do with you, whenever I want to.”

I chuckled and hooked my arms around his neck as I flipped us over, pressing down my lower body against his, his member twitching as I rubbed up against it, turned on, as Hongjoong still held my neck firmly.

“I guess I’ll have to continue making your days a living nightmare, then.” I smirked and Hongjoong yanked me down, tongue in my mouth and hand on my waist as I started moving my hips, enjoying the way his grip tightened even more around my neck.

If fucking him kept me alive for a little longer, then I would do it with a lot of pleasure. After all, I knew Hongjoong wasn’t capable of killing me…but neither was I capable of killing him.

Next part (divider)

#bvidzsoo #ateez series #ateez smut #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong #hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff #hongjoong oneshot #ateez x reader #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #ateez pirate au #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios

[xzhdjsj]

What Could've Been

Alex x Reader

Alex meets you again after years (His POV)

Here's a little something I wrote while procrastinating the Zaros fic and request I'm currently working on💀

ENJOY‼️

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Life in New York was all I’ve ever wanted; one major decision that changed the trajectory of my career path for the best it could ever be. But something was missing, New York just wasn’t home. My parents visited and my friends called but the loneliness was inevitable.

The collection of memories I held close to my heart had sufficed for more than a decade but I just couldn’t stay in some place, where I was all alone, anymore. Besides I had made enough money to restart a comfortable life back home, so I did just that. I moved back to England. 

Initially I didn’t take any of the job offers I got, I needed the time to reconnect with the people I left. I was able to catch up with friends and colleagues, but not everyone stayed in one place. People move and change, start afresh and continue living. Maybe I should do the same.

I also couldn’t stay unemployed forever, so I decided to reopen a studio. It was nostalgic for sure, although I had no one to share the happiness with this time. Given my much improved resume, work was a bigger hit than it ever was and soon I found myself shooting for big companies and events.

Like the one I’m currently photographing. Some huge law firm hosted their annual anniversary celebration and hired me to capture important moments throughout the night. It was a lively event, a rich and deluxe atmosphere that I sure as hell did not fit into. 

“Mister? Why do you look so worried?”, I hear a small voice, then  felt a tug on the leg on my pants.

“Ah well hello there, who might you be?”, I squat to face the small child in front of me. 

“Allison sir! But you can call me Allie!”

“Allie huh? That’s a cute name, I’m Alex”

“All my friends call me Allie! Nice to meet you Mr. Alex.”

“Really?”, I raise an eyebrow and she nods, “So does that mean we’re friends now?”

“It does!”

I take her little hand in mine for a handshake and she giggles.

“We’ll at least I have a friend here ton-”

“Allison? Honey where are you?”, a worried voice comes from behind Allison, a familiar voice.

“I’m hereeee!” Allison legs go of my hand and runs towards the voice as I get back on my feet.

“Allie I told you not to sneak off like that, I was worried.”, the familiar voice continues, gentle and soft as I remember it.

“It’s okay,” Allison drags the owner of the voice over to where I’m stationed. “Look I made a friend!”

“Oh really? Well let’s meet the... m”

I couldn’t hold eye contact. Not after how abruptly I left them so many years ago.

“Meet Mr. Alex!”

“Name, hi”, I start off, a weak start even for me.

“Alex, its... its good to see you again” their voice still as soft as ever, delicate like flower’s petal.

“Oh? You know Mr. Alex?”, Allison chimes in.

“Yes Al, Mr. Alex and I were... friends when we were younger.”

“friends”

None of this should bother me, a child shouldn’t need to know of our history together.

“Alex, this is Allison, my daughter.” 

“my daughter”

Except it does bother me. It bothers me a lot actually.

“We’ve already met!”, Allison’s voice rings in again.

“Right, I’m sorry sweetie.” they laugh with Allison. 

“I knew it, I definitely remembered your eyes from somewhere.”, I reach down to pinch Allison’s cheek.

“It’s nice seeing you too, Allison has quite the charm.” I forced out.

“Yes, I get that very often. I didn’t you were back, I thought you’d stayed in New York for good.” they smile. 

God, I miss that smile.

“Hahaha I just missed home. I didn’t feel like being away any longer.”

“Ah I see. Well then welcome back.”

“Thank you”

There was nothing else to be said, and the silence could eat me whole.

“I’ll get going now, I hope you have fun tonight.”, they broke the silence.

“Yeah, you too.”

I watch as Allison holds onto their hand walking back to the middle of the room. My chest burns, it burns so much I feel like I might throw up but I keep watching them. I watch as they approach a man wearing a suit, who turns around and lifts Allison in his arms. His other arm wraps around their body and he kisses their forehead. I couldn’t take it anymore; I couldn’t watch anymore. I promptly excused myself, running to the bathroom. My throat clenched and I threw up. I must’ve stayed there for at least an hour. I cried and cried, more than I’ve ever cried even when we broke up. 

I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking, that could’ve been me. I could’ve been the one holding a child that was ours and comforting them when they needed it. I wouldn’t be photographing anyone else tonight, I’d be beside them holding them and kissing them.

IT COULD’VE BEEN ME. IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME. WE COULD’VE HAD IT ALL.

Could’ve, would’ve, I left… so we didn’t. 

#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #alex #id pay money to see him cry and throw up from regret #this kinda reminds me of rolling in the deep by adele

[anashins]

The Other Brother

Pairing: Taeyong x You (feat. Jaehyun)

Genre: fiancé’s younger brother au, runaway bride, mutual pining (they just don’t know it yet), hate to love, angst, romance, smut

Warnings: rough smut, choking, mc is two years older

Word Count: 15.8k

Summary: Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but mere hours before the ceremony, you get cold feet and seek shelter with your fiancé's younger brother - the last place on earth where you want to be as you have never gotten along. But as the time of your wedding draws closer, you start to think that you might have ended up with the wrong brother after all.

Six hours before the wedding

You and Taeyong have known each other for ten long years, starting from when you were seventeen and he fifteen. And for every single one of those years, you’ve ignored, offended, argued, mocked and generally rubbed each other up the wrong way. 

When you thought about your fiancé’s younger brother, you remembered how he threw sand on your food, called you a crybaby, shoved you into the pool, kicked a ball at you, hid bugs under your pillow, and many more worse things. 

Yes… Jaehyun’s younger brother was the total opposite of him. 

Where your fiancé was warm, kind and good-hearted, Taeyong was cruel, mean and ruthless - but not only to you. He hated everyone and everything, and it seemed the entire world hated him too. Though only you, he appeared to despise more than anyone else, and you had never quite understood why, having given up approaching him a long time ago. 

Throughout all those years, you had never been able to form a bond. Yet, he was the only person you considered calling when you ran away from your own wedding.

“Ca- can you please come pick me up?”

Your phone was shaking in your hand as you pressed it closer to your ear, barely being able to hear him at the other line due to the loud noise the rain made as it mercilessly pattered onto the asphalt. It was already soaking through your hair and bright white gown, not only wetting, but also dirtying the garment in which you were supposed to walk down the aisle in a few hours.

This downpour was the forerunner of autumn, and the next season was approaching early this year. The sudden drop in temperature made you shiver, but you hadn’t been able to grab a jacket before running out of the venue. Since it was still early in the morning, you had been all alone while trying on the gown and waiting for the others - the possible worst mistake you could have made on the day of your wedding. Suddenly, panic had taken over you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Taeyong didn’t ask questions over the phone, he only wanted to know, “Where are you now?”

“At-... at the wedding venue…”

“I’ll be there.”

You were waiting under a tree in the driveway, silently praying that none of the employees you had hired for your big day would start their shift so early except for the ones who had opened the venue for you. To them, you had said you needed some fresh air and dismissed all questions about why you ran out into the pouring rain in your wedding gown and with no umbrella for protection.

Tires squealed when a black car came to a halt in front of you. Either he had been incredibly fast or you had been too swept up in your thoughts while waiting. Nonetheless, you ruffled the long tulle skirt around your waist and sprinted through the rain right to the vehicle where the door already opened for you from the inside, collecting the meters and meters of fabric until every inch of the pompous dress fitted with you on the seat.

As soon as the door fell closed, you felt like a huge burden had been lifted off your shoulders, like you had finally gotten rid of a pesky chaser. But today was your wedding day, and no one was supposed to feel like this on their own wedding day.

“Thank you.”

“Where to?” Taeyong asked, the car already moving. 

He was not dressed according to his duty today as the best man, but casually as though he had quickly thrown some clothes together before driving here. He was a night owl, partying very often and very hard, and you only now noticed that at this time of the day, he probably only came home from a club. Or threw out a woman.

“Just… away, please.”

“There is a jacket in the backseat. Take it.”

“Thank you.” 

You turned around and reached for the leather jacket that was sprawled out behind the driver’s seat. At first, you were reluctant in case it was from one of his flings who had forgotten it here, but as you put it on, it hung way too loose around your upper body, indicating that this really was Taeyong’s after all. 

You shivered a bit less with the jacket on and your heart felt lighter as well the further you drove away from the venue, the view onto the building already blurred by the rain in the rear mirror. Good, just far away from it, anywhere was fine. You hadn’t chosen this venue yourself anyway, just like the dress. Everything was so big, too much, too pretentious. You hadn’t wanted this all.

The gown’s fabric felt wet and heavy in your hands and you tried to place it in a way that would make it easier for you to sit while Taeyong was driving silently, not uttering a word, not even throwing side glances at you. If it were Jaehyun sitting next to you, he would have already bombarded you with questions as to why you had run away from the venue at such short notice. 

But Taeyong didn’t inquire about anything. That was the reason why you had called for him in the first place and not for anyone else. You had never had some kind of relationship. He would not bother you, he would not try to sympathize with your situation.

Time passed, having enveloped you in silence until the car came to a halt right in front of a place you had only been to once when you had lost your keys and Jaehyun was out of town. Even back then, you had only spoken the bare minimum to each other as he had thrown the keys out of his window with you catching it on the street.

“I figured the last place anyone would ever search for you was at mine.”

He was right. Nobody would search for a runaway bride at the groom’s younger brother’s home she had never formed a bond with. 

The rainfall hadn’t stopped, and you found it ironic that after weeks of pure sunshine, it rained only on this day like it was some kind of bad omen. You left the car after Taeyong, the long tulle skirt more of a hindrance than you had expected, but he was by your side within seconds and held the door open so that you could get out without stumbling. 

With hurried steps, you then followed him inside the building, the smell of mold and old furniture instantly meeting your nose. Taeyong didn’t live in a modern penthouse like you and Jaehyun, but in a single apartment at the other side of the city where you would usually never step foot in. Yet, it was the most secure place for you right now.

Reaching the third floor by foot, your wedding gown now felt as heavy as though the fabric was made of bricks. You stood awkwardly by the door after entering while Taeyong walked further into his flat without waiting for you.

“You coming?” He asked, turning his head back to you, his gaze lazy. “What are you waiting for?”

The tips of his platinum blonde dyed hair were wet as well from helping you out of the car, and he already had a towel around his shoulders where the small droplets fell on. You had always been fascinated by this unconventional color and his courage to just go through with it. Only now, you admitted to yourself that he pulled it off quite well.

You set one foot after another, slipping out of your sneakers that you then neatly placed next to the door. Despite this place not being yours and having other rules or no rules at all, you stuck to your routines before following Taeyong into the living room. 

“Wait here,” he said and disappeared into the room behind the living room which you assumed was where he slept before coming out a minute later with a staple of clothes and a towel in his hands. “Here. I figured you would want to take a shower and change your clothes.”

He was right. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about ruining your leather jacket.”

“Don’t worry about that. The bathroom is over there.”

You took the new clothings and the towel into your arms and went to where he was pointing his finger at. Surprisingly, it was the cleanest bathroom you had ever been in, even challenging yours. You hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be the neat type like you. But then again, you didn’t know him at all, so you had no right to be taken aback when you were so judgemental.

You first took off Taeyong’s leather jacket and started shivering all over again. It smelled like Taeyong himself - of lemongrass and ginger. Very manly, very significant. You knew because his car had also smelled of that and he left a faint scent wherever he went for years.

“You need help?” Taeyong asked, peeking into the bathroom as you hadn’t closed the door yet.

“Can you help me unzip the gown, please?”

“Sure.”

You didn’t know how you had gotten into it yourself, but taking off a dress was sometimes much harder than getting into one, especially as this one was a custom. You had never quite liked the heart neckline without straps, how tight the corset hugged around your cleavage and the meters of tulle that spread out like a cupcake from your waist downwards. It was excessive and flamboyant. It just wasn’t you.

You turned your back to Taeyong, and his fingers felt warm against your skin when he took the zip into his hand and pulled it all down.

“Thank you.”

“It doesn’t suit you anyway,” he deadpanned on his way out. 

“... what?”

“The dress.”

“I don’t need an insult now, Taeyong,” you sighed. “It’s not the time.”

“It was not an insult,” he cleared up monotonously. “I was just indicating that a more classic wedding dress would have suited you much better.”

A classic wedding dress, hm. A dress made of rich silk in the color of ivory that hugged you at the right parts and flowed down in an a-line. That was what you had dreamed of as well. But Jaehyun and your families had always pictured something else for you.

“I think so too,” you admitted before you closed the door behind you.

____

Five hours before the wedding

You stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of gray sweats that hung loose around your waist and a white t-shirt that was way too big for you too as they all belonged to Taeyong. But at least you had been able to get rid of that dress you hated so much. 

You still dried your wet hair with a towel, smelling of lemongrass and ginger yourself now as you had used Taeyong’s shower gel. He was sitting in the kitchen preparing some rice and side dishes as you walked in.

“I don’t own a hair dryer, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine without one. What are you doing?”

“Breakfast. I don’t know whether you’ve eaten yet or if you’re hungry at all. But I am… and just in case you’re too… I’m trying my best with what I already have.”

Breakfast consisted of leftover rice, fried eggs and some pickled tomatoes, but you were still grateful for him to stand in the kitchen and make all these despite not having expected guests.

“Thank you.”

“Please stop thanking me,” Taeyong urged when he placed the rice on two different bowls and brought them over to the table. Then, the eggs and tomatoes on other ones. “I lost count on how many times you thanked me already within the past hour. More than in all those years combined.”

“You’ve never given me any reason to thank you in the first place.”

He glared at you.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate,” you apologized sincerely. “I should be grateful for your hospitality.”

He simply ignored it. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

You took a seat opposite of him and put some eggs and tomatoes on your rice. It was a simple dish, but only now you realized how hungry you actually were since you hadn’t been able to eat anything since last evening - out of excitement. Or fear. You weren’t quite able to distinguish these two yet.

Suddenly, Taeyong’s phone started vibrating. But instead of looking at it, he looked at you while chewing. “Where is your phone?”

Your eyes widened, and in reflex, you touched the pockets of your joggers. “I assume I lost it while running to your car, or in this thick dress, I don’t know. My family must already be at the venue for the preparations though, and I’m supposed to be there too by now. They must be worried.”

Taeyong’s eyes darted to his phone, then back to you. “It's your mother. I should buy you some time to figure out what to do next.”

“But why is she calling you?”

“I suppose she called everyone else already.”

Until now, the damage that you had done hadn’t dawned on you yet. But for your mother to call Taeyong, she must be worried sick. 

“You want to talk to her yourself?”

“No. I still need to collect… my thoughts.”

“Okay.” Taeyong picked up his phone and greeted your mother. “I also don’t know where she is, I’m sorry… Perhaps, she’s gone to the tailor to get something on her dress fixed… Yes I will call when I know. Bye.”

Now, you were the one who glared at him, chewing angrily. “That’s the best you could come up with? Doesn’t sound so plausible or something that could take hours.”

“You should thank me in case you decide to show back up there. We can go anytime you want and nobody needs to know about your… temporary breakout.”

“It’s not temporary. I won’t be showing up at all,” you confessed reluctantly and placed the fork back on the top of the bowl after only a few bites, suddenly not feeling hungry at all anymore. The following words took you much overcoming. “I’m just collecting my thoughts to put them into the right words and tell him, them all. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing again?” He carried on with eating as though you hadn’t just dropped a bombshell.

“Because I’m blowing up a wedding that’s been the highlight for so many people. The guests, the money, the-”

“Screw the money, it will all come back,” Taeyong interrupted. “And screw the people. It’s not their wedding, it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels. It’s your decision alone.” Taeyong’s voice was calm and he put another bite of side dishes on his rice, appearing totally unfazed even though it clearly involved his brother. It was his wedding too.

You didn’t dare to dig deeper, to question what he exactly meant with that, why he was so supportive and didn’t talk you out of it, dragging you down the aisle himself if he must. Did he think he dodged a bullet and was secretly happy to finally get rid of you? Then why had he driven you all the way here and didn’t kick you out into the pouring rain again?

The rest of the breakfast was taken in silence and you volunteered to do the dishes. You didn’t leave it at that though and proceeded to not only clean the table, but also the tiles around the stove, although everything was already very spic and span. You just needed something to do until you knew how to proceed with the day. By the time you were done, your hair was also dry.

“You know you’re a guest and not my cleaning lady, right? Besides, it’s already very clean here,” Taeyong dropped in passing, peeking into the kitchen.

“It helps me get occupied and think about what to do next.”

“Don’t forget the refrigerator if you’re already at it, I never come around to do it myself.”

You stuck out your tongue, but couldn’t help it and bit down a chuckle.

____

Four hours before the wedding

With wrinkled fingers, you stepped into the living room where Taeyong was seated on the couch, watching TV. Your dress had found its way from the bathroom to a hanger by the door, a bit cleaner, but not less wet than before. Taeyong must have brought it out while you were occupied in the kitchen.

“I assumed you would want to store it and let it dry until then.” He looked up to you. “That is… if you still want to keep it.” His look was wary, but full of expectation. 

“I want to burn it.” Taeyong, who had always been the reckless and the most unratable person you knew, was now the one getting startled. “I don’t want to wear it ever again. I don’t even want to look at it.”

He hesitated. “I’ll put it away, okay?”

Taeyong stood up and took the dress with the hanger from the door. He brought it over to his bedroom so that it was out of your sight. At the very same moment, his cell phone began to ring. Your mother again, as you saw on the display. Of course, the time of the ceremony was drawing closer and there was no sight of the bride herself.

“What should I say this time?” Taeyong wanted to know from you upon his return.

“That the wedding today won’t happen.”

While you were in the kitchen, you had had enough time to think this all through. Your wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, not the most miserable one. There were no right words to tell your mother that you weren’t getting married anymore though, so you should just go with it by heart. You agreed on Taeyong inventing something until you got your phone back and were able to call your mother.

“I also don’t know where she is now anymore, I just heard from a friend… No, I don’t remember which one,” were the words you heard Taeyong speak in the bedroom while you sat on the couch, staring at the TV that was still running, but not quite absorbing the flickering pictures. “I’m supposed to meet with Jaehyun in an hour at the venue. I’ll be there soon, then we can talk.”

When Taeyong returned, he was already fully dressed with his shoes on and then reached for the leather jacket that you had worn shortly before. The keys were dangling in his fingers. “I will look for your phone at the spot where I picked you up. And they haven’t told my brother yet that you’re still not there, so I have to hurry before they break it down to him in the most insensitive way possible.”

Brother… Of course. How could you have been so ignorant and made it all about you? Jaehyun was Taeyong’s brother. The sole fact that you were here and seeking shelter probably already put him into a conflict of interest. Now, you even demanded him to do the dirty job for you. He should stay with his brother, supporting him throughout this hard time. Instead, you had forced yourself onto him, the one responsible for this entire turmoil.

“I… I am the one who isn’t supposed to be here,” you murmured more to yourself than to him. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this… I was so selfish. I should go back and explain it to everyone, I should just… I should… I’ll fix this myself now.”

Like in a trance, you put your feet from the couch back on the ground, preparing yourself to leave, but Taeyong held you back by your shoulder. His hand dropped down to your arm until they found your cold palm, his fingers enclosing around yours in a reassuring gesture.

“Do you feel like going there?” His gaze was impenetrable, a great contrast to his comforting touch. Both possible responses could be right and wrong. “Answer me honestly, do you feel like seeing my brother? And I’m not referring to today. Do you feel like spending your life my brother… at all?”

“No.”

This answer came quickly and honestly, and Taeyong decided to act on it before you could change your mind. He arose, but this time it was you who held him back by his hand, scared to let go of him. Your expression showed desperation, and a bit of hope. You didn’t want him to go. You didn’t want to be alone right now.

And as though he was able to read your thoughts, he said, in the most tender tone you had ever witnessed him use with his thumb gently brushing over the back of your hand, “I’ll be back shortly, I promise.”

____

Three hours before the wedding

Taeyong’s lifestyle was entirely different from yours, the life you lived with Jaehyun. You were minimalistic, modern and followed an industrial interior design. Taeyong’s was a chaotic mess, he didn’t follow any style at all. 

While his kitchen was kept unoccupied and clean just like his bathroom where you had even noticed every etiquette of a bottle facing in the same direction, his living room was blocked with cabinets, shelves and even showcases where he displayed a collection of shoes and different figurines, some you recognized as animes as well as lego from different series and franchises. 

Also in the living room, next to the big TV, he had set up his gaming corner with three different screens. On the other side, something you oddly only noticed now, he kept fishes in a big tank. You hadn’t been aware that he was taking care of animals - a trait you had always been assured of said a lot about people: that they treated others with respect, that they were caring and endearing. Basically everything you hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be.

Since you were already on your feet, you made your way to the bedroom. You assumed that since you’ve seen everything else, he wouldn’t mind that as well with your wedding dress hanging in there anyway. In contrast to his living room though, his bedroom was free of most nick nacks. The bed was huge and unmade, but the many blankets and pillows looked very inviting. There were dumb bells on a yoga mat next to the window and aside from that, a huge closet that spread across the wall, with tids and bits of fabric peeking through the doors that seemed to barely close anymore.

You sat down on the bed, the mattress giving in under you. On the nightstand, there was a small lamp and a book. Upon closer inspection and picking it up, you recognized it was a book to learn English, and it had sat upon a pack of condoms that was already opened.

You rolled your eyes and wondered if, shortly before he had made his way to you, a woman was lying in here, hoping for a lazy morning but got thrown out. You put the book back on the package and flopped onto the bed. While staring at the ceiling, you listened to the rain still pattering against the window. Today had been a bad day to get married outside anyway.

As you laid there and slowly drifted off to sleep, you wondered when you had stopped imagining a life with Jaehyun.

____

Two hours before the wedding

“Jaehyun is a fool, what’s new.”

You started from your sleep, suppressing a gasp at the last minute. The bedroom’s door was only slightly ajar when you sat up, but you clearly heard people coming into the apartment and only counted yourself lucky to not be in their view right now.

One voice belonged to Taeyong. The other, clearly to his father.

“Don’t talk about your brother like this,” the elderly man chided. “Jaehyun is still keeping his hopes up, you should support him. Lately, she does these kinds of things, he told me. Like going clubbing with her friends and coming home only early in the morning. He had to talk her out of it as she’s a grown woman already. She even considered requesting a sabbatical at work and traveling the world. Jaehyun had to tell her to keep her stable job during such times. Also, she wanted to pick new furniture for their home, but he had to prohibit her that as they just recently moved in. In the end, Jaehyun knows her better. He’s positive she will still show up. Eventually, she always comes to her senses, that’s what he told me. She always does.”

This entire conversation made you so angry, your blood was boiling. You had never looked at it from this perspective. Eventually, you would come to your senses? Perhaps, that was the problem. You shouldn’t come to your senses in the first place. You had thought you would do Jaehyun a favor by listening to him, but when have you ever done yourself a favor?

“Why did he insist on you coming with me then?” They had already reached the living room as Taeyong asked this. 

“He thinks she might be coming over here at some point if not to the venue first, so he remained there and wanted me to wait here.”

“Why would she come over to my place?” Taeyong’s voice oozed with suspicion. “And even if, I could bring her too, there was no need for you to follow me here.” Your heart pounded against your chest so hard, you feared they would hear it. 

“Jaehyun said that it’s because when she gets cold feet, she will flee to the one person who won’t judge her, but not to her best friend as everyone would suspect her being there. I’m here to make sure to talk to her in a way that you won’t be able to.”

Taeyong snorted. “As you implied, we never had any kind of relationship, she would never seek shelter with me in the first place.” He was kind of a good liar, you had to admit.

“You might not have some sort of relationship,” his father explained calmly, “but you have some kind of mutual understanding going on between you two. You laugh at the same things, you brood over the same things, you argue over the same things. So Jaehyun was afraid you might hold her back and support her decision to cancel the wedding.”

“We barely even speak. Why would he feel that way?” Taeyong responded with much confusion, and you felt the same. 

“This, he never told me directly, but I can see too.”

“I have no right to judge her decision and you don’t have one either. If she wants to cancel the wedding, then she has every right to do so.”

“See? That was why I was supposed to come here. In the end, Jaehyun knows better.”

Silence.

“Excuse me for a bit, I’ll go get changed into dry clothes, okay?”

You slid from the bed and hid by the corner in the opposite direction of where he would enter. Taeyong spotted you right away and closed the door behind him. He put his index finger to his lips, gesturing you to stay silent and pulled something out of the pocket of his jeans. It was your phone.

You knew what you had to do. You had to call Jaehyun and tell him that there wouldn’t be a ceremony at this point, that he shouldn’t hold his hopes up anymore. This much, you owed him and everyone that was supposed to join the wedding today. But it was just so hard.

Tears burnt behind your eyes. Always, Jaehyun took care of the complicated things in your life such as doing taxes or asking for a refund. When it came down to these kinds of situations, you weren’t the strong, independent women you wanted to turn into anymore. You needed somebody’s help.

Taeyong withdrew the phone upon encountering your exasperated expression and went over to his closet where he pulled out some clothes to change into. You didn’t know why you hadn’t noticed before, but in the closet, next to your wedding dress, hung his suit that he was supposed to wear as a best man. But he didn’t touch that. 

Instead, Taeyong pulled his wide hoodie over his head along with the t-shirt that he wore underneath and revealed his muscular back to you upon changing. His muscles tensed and strained as he reached for a new shirt and dragged it over his torso. In only these few seconds, you had spotted a few tattoos you had never seen before. When had he gotten them and what were their meaning? You were curious and fascinated by a man who you had known for so long and still not at all.

When Taeyong turned around to you, he had typed an entire message into your phone and held it in front of you.

“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”

Short and painful. Just how you felt in reality. You nodded, and he sent the message. 

____

One hour before the wedding

Taeyong’s father left after only five more minutes. Jaehyun had called him, and judging by the way Taeyong now spoke heatedly into his phone as well, you assumed that the news about the bride canceling the wedding over a text had already reached all attendees while your own phone was turned off with everyone now supposing you were at your best friend’s house who luckily covered for you.

You knew Jaehyun deserved better as well as everyone involved. But you just weren’t there yet. When it came down to conflicts, you were never the confronting type and always let others fight these battles for you. Just like Taeyong at this moment. And he did it willingly and with much passion, you just didn’t know why. The Taeyong who ignored you, made snarky remarks and only turned his attention to you when there was something to laugh about or mock you with wouldn’t do all that. 

“Alright, alright. Yeah, I will call you should I receive news. Bye.” Drawing out a long breath, Taeyong flopped on the couch next to you. He was exhausted, his mouth dry from all the talking he had done in the past hour. 

You almost didn’t dare ask. “And…?”

“It’s all canceled.” He sounded annoyed. “They already dismantled the setting outside and sent everyone home.”

You hadn’t meant that. “I meant…”

“How Jaehyun is?” Taeyong almost snapped, and you flinched at his sudden change in demeanor. “I haven’t spoken to him. But you know my brother as well as me. He tries to keep his composure and help wherever he can, no matter how hard it’s been on him. That’s how he is, my brother, the golden child. Even not letting his feelings slip when he’s hurt to the core.”

He was mad, and despite him trying to keep his composure, you couldn’t hold it against him. He had every right to be angry at what you had done to his family and partially dragged him into it.

“I know I owe him an apology and an explanation,” you admitted.

He briefly added, “More than that.”

“What am I supposed to say to him? I don’t know yet. All I knew the moment I left the venue was that I didn’t want to get married to him and that it was the most painful and most selfish thing I have done.”

“What about the entire truth?”

“The entire truth reaches deeper than not wanting to get married today.” You fell back into silence, shifting awkwardly in your seating position. But you didn’t need to speak further. Again, Taeyong seemed to sense what was exactly going on inside of you.

“Ah,” he then declared with feigned festivity. “There it is. The girl who was practically forced into a relationship with the first nice guy she met and slowly discovers that there is more to the world than marrying your high school boyfriend and living a modest life in the suburbs, getting married and having kids.”

“There is no reason to be so nasty about it,” you hissed. 

“I bet you haven’t had sex in a year, am I right?” he continued mercilessly, and your stomach churned, making you suddenly feel so sick. “Or at least not in the way you want to. Always, you have only liked it reserved, in the conventional positions. I bet you haven’t tried it out from behind or with a grip around your neck. You don’t dare to speak it out to anyone, but that’s what you desire deep inside.”

How could you have possibly thought that coming here was a good idea? That for once, Taeyong was able to behave like a decent human being. He was as cruel and vile as ever.

His face then fell upon realizing the damage he had caused with his words. “Hey, I-”

But you were already out of the door, stomping down the stairs and back into the pouring rain. The wet droplets felt sharp in your face, like cold whips that also slung around your arms. You tried to protect your head from the rainfall with your hands that you spanned over your brows, but it had little to no effect.

You didn’t know for how long you had been walking when a black car halted next to you. By now, you were freezing, but you kept walking while he rolled down the window and matched the vehicle’s speed to your steps.

“Hey.”

Taeyong kept following you with the car, you walking on the pavement, him driving on the street next to you.

“Please stop.”

“No. You’re an asshole, Lee Taeyong.”

“I know,” he agreed. “But please get in the car. You’re catching a cold.”

You stilled, rain mercilessly coming down on you as though taking a second shower.

“Please…” he begged.

Muted, you turned over and opened the door. Just like mere hours before, you found yourself sitting in the passenger’s seat, soaked from head to toe, but this time not in your wedding gown anymore. After you had settled yourself, Taeyong didn’t restart the car though. You both kept staring at the window in front of you, barely seeing anything through the curtain of rain, but only listening to the sound of it.

After a while, Taeyong opened his mouth. “A year ago, my girlfriend left me.”

The confession took you by surprise. “I didn’t know you were in a relationship…”

“How would you? We barely know anything about each other’s life. I bet my brother also wouldn’t drop this news as he knew you wouldn’t be interested in hearing them.” His grip was still tight around the steering wheel, the knuckles of his fingers turning white, that was how tense he was. “But I was very much in love. I had even imagined myself marrying her. Can you imagine that? Me and marrying?”

Almost unnoticeably, you shook your head. “You were always… so free, independant, uncommitted. My total…”

“... opposite,” he ended your sentence. “Exactly. Yet, I met a girl that I loved so much, I imagined myself as a husband. But before I got the chance to propose, she broke it off with me.”

“... Why?”

“Because I wasn’t what she wanted. In the long run, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, I realized. She only did what was best for us, even though it was painful and selfish at that moment, and I hated her very much for it. You can almost say a year ago, I was Jaehyun.”

“I put you in a conflict of interest, I know.” You dropped your head. “You can tell me to go, and I will go right now. I imposed myself on you like that. You have every right to send me away. I won’t be mad.”

“Don’t even think about it. Love makes you do crazy things. Sometimes, you have to do things that seem wrong from the outside but you know are right. I went through it already, I know both sides, that’s why I truly understand your feelings and empathize with them.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re with me and not Jaehyun if you were in his shoes back then. Basically, I’m like your ex now.”

“Because I know Jaehyun will be okay eventually. He always has everything under control.” The corner of his lip curled up, adding sorrow to his mien. “But do you?”

You had no answer to that. You knew it was the right decision, but continuing with your life all by yourself from now on was something you hadn’t put too much thought into. For ten years, you had someone by your side. How would it be now?

Taeyong continued nearly seamlessly, “I should have faced you with more understanding as I was already in such a situation, I’m honestly sorry for going off like that before. It just… reopened old sores.” 

Taeyong apologizing to you was something you had never expected to witness in this lifetime. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You thanking me again.” You looked at each other, and there was a smile displayed on his lips that was almost light-hearted this time. “That’s probably something that will never change about you.”

“Do you think I’m a goody two shoes?” You didn’t know what made you want to hear his opinion, but for the first time since you had known each other, you were having a decent, serious conversation. “Please be honest.”

“Are you kidding? Of course you are!” He laughed, and it was so high-pitched, it sounded like the windshields in the rain. You almost chuckled too. “That was why you matched so well with my brother as he is one too. You both have dreamed of the same things… marriage, a family, a house in the suburbs… children. But apparently, you’re not satisfied with all that anymore.”

You leaned back in your seat, slowly relaxing. “Was that also the case for you and your ex?”

“She wanted everything you wanted in the past. I’m not any of that. But with the past year, I figured that marriage has nothing to do with pursuing the same goals, you know.” He tried to provide you with another perspective on things. “If you love someone, you marry them. It takes nothing more. You only have to be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, no matter what is about to come. The rest will fall into place, you have to have faith.”

“And she didn’t feel the same way about you. Just like I don’t feel the same way about Jaehyun.” The scales fell from your eyes. “It has nothing to do with wanting different things in life. I just don’t want a life with Jaehyun anymore.”

“See. Don’t worry about what our father said. It’s okay if you want to try yourself out, venturing into different things. Nobody should hold you back on that. If you meet a person who’s willing to go through all of that with you, then you have nothing to worry about.”

A few silent beats passed before you directed a question at him out of curiosity. “What is it that you want in your life, Taeyong?”

“If only I would know, hm?” When had you ever encountered him being so blunt, so raw and so earnest? “Perhaps, I want to change jobs. Perhaps, I want to join a band. Perhaps, I want to travel to Italy. Perhaps, I want to work at a pet shop, because I love animals so much. I just don’t know.”

This time, it was you who laughed and he joined with that high-pitched tone again. You couldn’t imagine Taeyong working in a pet shop, cleaning hamster cages and playing with dogs. On the other hand, when you imagined a grumpy Taeyong surrounded by playful kittens who were crawling all over him, you had a vivid picture in your mind that brought a heartfelt smile forward within you.

“What about you?” he directed the question back.

“Me?” You pondered over it for a while as you had never been asked this. “I don’t know. I seriously don’t know. I only know that I don’t want to continue living this life anymore. I feel like… I’m in a cage, and if I imagine that every day I have to live like this, it’s suffocating me.”

“It’s okay to not have your whole life mapped out anymore, to not know what you want, what the next day will bring. Nobody expects it from you. Just take one day at a time, baby steps.”

“Jaehyun does. And my parents as well as yours.”

“Then you have to start living your life for yourself, not for others.”

Taeyong then started the car, and for the first time you got the impression that the rain was slowly simmering out and it got brighter outside. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore.

“At home, you’re gonna change clothes again. And then we’re going to order food.”

“Wait… please drop me off at my… home first.” Taeyong didn’t let it slip, but from the corner of your eyes, you witnessed his brow raise. “I learned many things from our conversation. Among all things, the most important lesson was to be honest, to yourself and to others. I need to meet Jaehyun.”

“I second that.”

“Perhaps, this one is going to be more painful than what I did this morning.”

Taeyong swerved the curve and dropped nearly absent-mindedly, “I think canceling the wedding was not only the most painful and selfish thing that you have done. I also think it was the most courageous and liberating thing that you have done. Just like this one will be. Think about it.”

You took it as the compliment it was.

_____

Time of the wedding

“You want me to come with you?”

You shook your head. “I already am indebted to you so much for letting me stay a few more days. I’m just gonna pick up a few clothes and wait. I already wrote to him.”

“Alright. I’ll wait in the car.” You had your fingers closed around the handle already. “And please quickly change clothes, you’ll catch a cold.”

“I will.”

It was odd coming back to your own home when you knew your entire life was about to change as opposed to this morning when you had left and still believed you would come back as a married woman. Now, you didn’t even know who you were and where your home was. But it was certainly not here, you sensed it clearly.

Everything felt foreign and off, and as you let your eyes wander over the cream colored furniture and the walls in the same boring colors, you knew exactly why this didn’t feel like your home anymore. It was and had always been Jaehyun’s home solely.

Jaehyun had picked the district, the apartment, the colors, the furniture. Everything was so clean and neat, almost sterile, there were no personal touches to the interior, the only picture being one of you two set on a small dresser with a few candles and books of yours that you had been allowed to display, everything else was designer, getting taken care of by a cleaning lady that came twice a week. 

You wished back the chaotic cleanliness of Taeyong’s home, the noises of the aquarium, the different furniture, colors and patterns thrown together, and where every corner had his personal handwriting all over it. As well as the faint scent of lemongrass and ginger lingering in the air.

Suddenly, it felt like the monotonous cream colored walls were slowly drawing closer to you, leaving you little to no time until they would crush you entirely. Despite the minimalist style, you felt the invisible narrowness of the atmosphere, and if you didn’t hurry up, it would swallow you whole. But you had to remain here to cleanly put an end to your ten year long relationship.

You fled into the bedroom that was a bit more playful with light blue walls where you shook off Taeyong’s clothes and slipped into your own ones, a pair of leggings and a tight top over which you threw an oversized cardigan. In a mid-sized backpack, you stuffed in a few shirts, pants, underwear and your toiletries. You crammed Taeyong’s borrowed wet clothes into a plastic bag that you wanted to put into the backpack too, but dropped it immediately back on the bed when you heard the entry door open.

With your backpack over your shoulder, you slowly stepped back into the living room. Your heart was almost jumping out of your chest as you moved, but when Jaehyun rounded around the corner, his appearance set an end to the steady rhythm. The whole world went still, absorbing every motion, every sound except for the ones your voices were going to make.

Nobody prepared you for a breakup when you were the one to initiate it. There was no right way, there were only inappropriate ones, one of them including limiting the act to text messages only. If any of this hadn't happened, you would run into each other’s arms, hugging and probably even kissing. But now, you only stood in front of each other and stared at the other in silence.

Jaehyun was distressed and tired, but like always, he didn’t want to let it show. You knew him so well though, you looked right through his facade. “Where are you going?”

An eligible question that you didn’t want to answer in all honesty. “To my best friend’s house.”

“Okay.” He sucked in a rush of air. “You need anything else?”

You shook your head. “I got everything I need.”

This entire conversation was bizarre. Somehow, you had hoped for more, but somehow, you were thankful that there wasn’t more that he demanded from you. Perhaps, everything had already been said between you two. Perhaps, nothing had been said, but you both understood:

That you weren’t made and good for each other anymore. That you two deserved other people by your side and that you had only been together because it had been conventional and what your parents had expected from you. That it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run if you two had married despite all that.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”

He smiled mildly, but probably only due to exhaustion. “Don’t be.”

As you had spoken those words out and listened to Jaehyun’s answer, you wondered if you actually were sorry. In fact, you didn’t feel anything at this moment.

“We both saw it coming, Jaehyun,” you tried to approach the situation. “We’ve been together since high school. We went to university and more school, and we didn’t have time to focus on dating anyone else. We stayed together because… we didn’t really see a reason why not. We were comfortable, we were happy enough. And things have been fine between us.”

He responded, “If you hadn’t canceled the wedding, if you had stood there today, saying ‘I do’, even with these sad eyes of yours, I would have accepted that with my entire heart. I would have gone on, pretending everything was okay as long as we could pretend to be happy as well. But I haven’t been for a long time already as well.” He paused, then confessed, “I’ve met someone else.”

“I see.” The words didn’t hurt you, and you didn’t hold it against him. Again, you felt nothing as he rested his gaze on your face, inspecting your reaction.

“I swear,” he defended himself, “that I never cheated on you. I dodged every conversation with her, I didn’t even look at her longer than I needed. I just… couldn’t do this to you. But just her presence…” He stopped speaking, but you felt what he felt.

Jaehyun was a reputable and respectful man. Of course he would have never cheated on you, you were always certain of that, even now. Whatever he had begun feeling for that woman, he was still keeping it locked inside of him, because he believed you two would work out. And partly also because he didn’t have the courage to end things once and for all. 

The worst thing was that sometimes, you were thinking that if you had met someone who you felt passionate about like him, you would have wanted to leave him earlier. You weren’t nearly as reputable and respectful as Jaehyun. 

“You were still in love with the seventeen year old girl from back then, but I’m not that girl anymore,” you slowly explained, almost too factual with no true emotions. “If you love someone, you marry them, and the rest will fall into place as long as you’re certain that you want to stay together for the rest of your lives. I couldn’t marry you today because I can’t imagine a life with you anymore.”

Jaehyun’s brow twitched and he opened his mouth as though he had so much to retort. But in the end, he gave it all up and said, “You can have this place. I’m just gonna stay at Taeyong’s in the meantime.”

You froze, but kept your composure. “I don’t want it. Your family bought it for us, so it should stay with you. And in all honesty… this place doesn’t feel like my home anymore anyway. Like I said, I’m gonna stay at my best friend’s until I find something for myself.”

Something seemed to bother him, but he didn’t let slip what exactly, and you were thankful he didn’t push the topic. “Okay, do as you wish.”

“I’ll let you know when I’ll come back to get all my belongings. Probably as soon as I’ve settled somewhere.”

Jaehyun nodded.

The straps of your backpack suddenly seemed to leave burn marks on your shoulders. You still felt the urge to continue with this conversation, and Jaehyun gave off the appearance of wanting to do the same, but you both seemingly withdrew as you didn’t know what you were supposed to add anymore.

Perhaps, you would someday have a long session where you poured out all your feelings. Perhaps, you would never talk to each other again. But this conversation ended here and now, at the exact time you were supposed to say “I do” to each other.

In the end, you only brought yourself to wish him well. “I… I hope it will work out for you.”

“I hope so for you as well.”

You raised a brow as his wording seemed off. You had never indicated that you were already meeting someone else. As always, he most likely only wanted to be polite.

As you walked down the hallway with heavy steps, away from the life possibly every woman could dream of, you still didn’t feel anything. No emotions, nothing. Was this the price you had to pay? Would you be numb to feeling anything ever again in your life?

____

Two hours after the wedding

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick as I didn’t have time this morning,” Taeyong announced. “When the delivery guy comes, can you open the door?”

“Sure thing.”

After Taeyong had disappeared in the bathroom, you remained on the couch, scrolling through your phone. It was blowing up, but you didn’t care as your best friend covered for you without asking a single question except for cocking a brow when you had admitted to her where you were currently residing.

“The brother you hate so much?” she had asked. “The one with the blonde hair, excessive taste in fashion, sexy piercings and godly tattoos?”

“Odd description. But yes, him.”

A long pause followed. Then, she giggled. “Keep me updated.” 

You weren’t sure what to make of this sentence. “Thank you for everything.”

“Sure thing! Your parents almost beat a path to my door, but I think I can still hold them back from coming over. Will I get the full story soon?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. And just between us… I think it was the right decision.”

You had then hung up on each other.

Another call from your mother followed, but you swiped this away as well, then decided to turn off your phone entirely. You wouldn’t need it anyway today and hoped that, except for your nagging family, everyone else would understand that you quite weren’t in a position to talk right now.

You heard the water running before turning your attention back to the TV. Shortly later, the food arrived by the door, and you thanked the delivery guy, tipped him, and brought the bag into the kitchen.

“Can we eat in front of the TV?” you yelled, waiting for an answer.

“I’d rather not to!” Taeyong yelled back from the bathroom.

You whispered to yourself while setting the table, “Okay, Mister super clean.”

“I heard that.”

Taeyong stood in front of you the next moment, only a pair of joggers hanging loosely around his waist and a towel draped around his shoulders to catch the droplets of his wet hair. You barely noticed your eyes gazing up and down his naked upper body, and by the time you did, Taeyong had noticed it too.

Before you could read his expression though, you swiftly turned around, hiding your flushed cheeks and brushing it off. “Get dressed, then we can eat.”

Luckily, he also pretended he hadn’t noticed. “Okay.” 

Dinner was eaten in silence after he came back dressed in a t-shirt, Taeyong purposely leaving you in peace after what had occured at your home. He supposedly assumed that you needed time to process your emotions. Except that there were still none.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about what happened back there,” Taeyong then stated after you had nearly finished. “I just want to know whether you’re okay. Are you?”

You chewed on your last bite and then swallowed it all down. “I am. Somehow, strangely, I truly am fine. But I just don’t know whether it’s the shock or whether the emotions haven’t really set in yet that I feel so… numb. I… don’t feel anything. That’s why I’m feeling fine.”

“You’re not feeling fine then,” Taeyong objected. 

“I think it’s better than breaking down crying.”

“If you feel like that, you can do it here too.”

Something so excruciating and raw, you had only done in private. But somehow, you didn’t fear doing it in front of Taeyong either.

“I was in a good relationship with a good man, who wanted to marry and have kids and do all the things you’re supposed to do. People will think I am crazy for ending this all.” You stared at the pattern painted on the bowl in front of you, free from all the rice you had just picked out one by one. “I was always happy enough.”

Taeyong didn’t comment on that. He sat quietly at your opposite and listened.

“Sometimes, I hoped I could have something more than just fine. Someone who made me feel like I hung the moon. But I sort of stopped believing that existed. And I figured why not marry a man like Jaehyun? It had never been on my mind that there could be more. There was a hole in my heart I thought I could fix with doing all the things I missed out on. But it just wouldn’t shrink, no matter what I did. I knew that, if I married Jaehyun, the hole would swallow me whole. And then, Jaehyun told me he met someone else.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened just when you lifted your head and looked at him. He hadn’t known either.

“And now I am certain that there is someone who will place the moon in the sky for me. If Jaehyun can find someone like that, then I can too. I’m certain there is someone out there who can make me feel exactly like that, and it will be the love I’ve been looking for and last for a lifetime.”

“Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, no matter how different you are, and the rest will fall into place if you have faith,” Taeyong referred to his statement from earlier that day.

You smiled. “Someone of whom I will know that I want to marry right away and not get cold feet.”

Taeyong cleared his throat and arose from his seat. “I’ll do the dishes. After that, I will prepare the bed for you to sleep in. And I accept no objections. For the time you’re here, you will sleep in my bed.”

You knew back talking had little to no effect. “Okay,” you then gave in, quietly thanking him for his generosity. “I can change the sheets myself later too, don’t worry about that.”

____

Four hours after the wedding

The rest of the evening, you spent sitting on the couch, on opposite ends, barely speaking to each other but just vibing. You felt very comfortable.

Taeyong fed his fishes and you asked whether they had names. They had. He had named every single one of them and was able to distinguish between them despite them looking all the same for you. 

You asked about his figurine collection and his eyes suddenly started to sparkle. He went on about them and their backstory as well as the different legos and how long he had taken for each set.

You were astonished to find out that the pictures that hung on the walls had been painted by Taeyong himself. You hadn’t pegged him to be the artsy type, but again, he had surprised you.

There were still so many things about Taeyong you only discovered one by one. 

For example, he was very caring as he brought you a blanket when he noticed how you shivered long after the sun had set. He was also very attentive as he unpacked your bag and put your clothes in a drawer that he had emptied for you. Taeyong was also very funny, knowing or unknowingly, and immensely passionate about the things he loved.

You thought that, if you ever got the chance to be someone else or change your life in the future, you would like to be more like him.

____

Five hours after the wedding

“I can change the sheets myself, don’t worry about that,” you told Taeyong when you felt tired enough to go to bed. Today had been hard on you too, and you couldn’t wait for a new morning to come, the sooner the better.

Stepping into Taeyong’s bedroom made you confront your wedding dress again that still hung exactly where he had put it. When you looked at it, you just felt so much anger - more emotions than on any other point of today. How come that when you put an end to your relationship, you didn’t feel anything, but a gown was able to summon so much hatred?

Quickly slipping out of your clothes, you put the dress back on. It reminded you of how little you had had to say about the wedding. How everyone had chosen the venue, the cake, the decorations, the dress and even the makeup and hairdo for your special day. The dress reminded you of how much of a human doormat you had been at this occasion and that ending your engagement also freed you from the cage you had been kept in.

You suddenly felt powerful, like you could take on the entire world. And it had only little to do with the dress you hated so much.

“Could you find the-”

Taeyong walked in on you standing in the middle of his bedroom in the still soaked wedding dress that he had picked you up in.

“I’ll give you a moment.”

“Wait!” You held him back. “This dress… embodies everything I hate about my former life. I have to break up with it too. I will take the hatred and forge it into something I envy you for, Taeyong.”

He raised his brows. “Which is?”

“Passion.” You smiled. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll get the scissors.”

You stopped him. “I want to do it with my bare hands.”

He snickered. “That’s fine for me too.”

The sound of fabric rustling and tearing filled the room, each one of you picking up one end of the dress’ skirt that consisted of meters and meters of tulle and just tore it all apart, tore on every edge that your fingers could grip on. And there were so, so many, your skin felt bruised when you took another and started ripping that one apart too until the skirt was nothing more than loose slips of fabrics that hung from your waist.

____

Six hours after the wedding

You both laid on Taeyong’s bed, side by side and exhausted from having treated such rich fabric with your bare hands. But he had been sitting with you through all of it, handling the process with just as much fervor and dedication.

“What do you feel?” Taeyong then asked you, staring at the ceiling that was now dipped into the semi-darkness of the night. The rain had stopped entirely, the bright light of the crescent moon that came through the dissolving clouds rendering the need for artificial light almost needless.

The torn gown rustled as you repositioned yourself, letting your naked legs slip through the curtain of strips that had once been the tulle skirt. “Like all steam is let out and there is nothing left anymore. And I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of never being able to feel anything again except for this hate that surfaces every now and then.”

“When you’re alone, that’s when the emotions set in and when it will get really hard.”

“What am I supposed to feel then, Taeyong? Can you tell me as you experienced this before?” You got up and he followed your motions, you both now facing the other from a seating position, your knees almost touching.

Somehow, this moment was very intense for you, and also very raw. You hadn’t shared such a heart-to-heart with anyone in a long time, and the person you did it with again was, out of all people, your ex fiancé’s brother who you apparently had more of an understanding with than the person you had been engaged to. 

“Aside from hatred, perhaps sadness. Because despite you doing the right thing for yourself, you have let go of something that has once meant so much to you, so it’s okay to let yourself mourn for a while. But like I said, i-”

“I don’t feel sad,” you interrupted him, your voice on the brink of despair as you nearly cry-screamed “I just… don’t feel anything else except for hate! Why can’t I feel anything else?! I don’t want this, I don’t want to be full of hate, that’s not me! I need to feel something else! Make me feel something else! Taeyong, I-!”

The next thing you knew, you had a pair of lips pressed against yours and warm palms cupping your heated face. They were a very full and demanding pair of lips, a pair of lips that was not Jaehyun’s, but made your heart flutter in the same way your ex fiancé had once made, many years ago. 

And that was it with your thoughts about Jaehyun for tonight, you swore to yourself as you wrapped your hands around Taeyong’s neck and settled yourself on his lap without breaking the kiss between you two. You weren’t able to remember when someone had last kissed you like this, when you had even thought of getting kissed like this, so passionately and deeply, it felt like you were getting devoured with all your soul.

And finally, after hours of numbness and hatred, you felt something. It was entirely different from what you had expected to feel. Not sadness. It was hunger. And it wanted to be fed.

Taeyong pulled away from you, and despite the semi darkness, you clearly saw in his eyes that he felt exactly what you felt, and that you perhaps were not the only person in this room who was still looking for something or someone greater. 

“I’ll stop if you…”

His hands pressed into your sides, he didn’t ease his grip, but you knew he would do so in an instant when you told him to. But you didn’t. 

“Please…” You looked into his hopeful eyes. “Don’t stop…”

He didn’t need to be told that twice. Taeyong licked over his lips in a way that got you really wet between your legs and pulled you down to him to lock your lips with his again. 

You curled your fingers into the hem of his shirt and stripped it over his head in one swift motion. In the few moments that you were parted, you observed his tattoos in awe. You hadn’t really paid attention to them until now as you had never bothered with such details about him, but now you wanted to touch them all and know the backstory of each of them. But only later you would ask.

You sat up to give Taeyong access to his pants that he took off and then threw on the floor while you simultaneously got rid of your panties and dropped them next to his joggers. You also wanted to wiggle yourself out of your wedding dress with his help, but Taeyong stopped you with a look so sinister, it made you gulp and your mouth dry.

You didn’t need to ask what he wanted. He didn’t want you to take off the dress. If there was a best way to ruin a much hated wedding dress that you hadn’t even chosen yourself, then it was having sex in it with a person who wasn’t the groom.

And you were all on it for it as you straddled Taeyong, the ripped skirt of your dress draped all over the both of you. You rubbed yourself against him with your hands holding onto his shoulders while he placed tender kisses on the side of your neck, and you wondered how someone who was usually so mean to you could be so soft at the same time. Taeyong was still an enigma to you, but you wouldn’t mind taking it all apart tonight.

His full lips reached the raising of your breasts that were still hidden in the corset, but with several deft acts of his strong fingers, he had loosened the back so that he was now able to pull the neckline down. Throwing your head back, you let him lick over your nipples, wetting them with his tongue before he blew over them. It caused you to shudder, but before you were able to process what would happen next, he had already taken the sensitive spots into his mouth, sucking on them in turns and even occasionally biting into one, making you cry out loud.

“Such a pretty voice, why haven’t I heard it so determinedly more often?” Taeyong asked with his head buried in your cleavage.

You didn’t know the answer to that. But he probably also didn’t expect one as you realized the next moment that he had already eased two fingers into you. He was always taking you by surprise.

Your muscles in your thighs tensed, and you lifted yourself up a few inches as you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, that was how heavenly his fingers worked inside of you. You were dripping all over his hand, his palm stroking your clit and thus providing you with the double of stimulation that you had never experienced before.

“You wanna cum?” Taeyong whispered into your ear as you had your head rested on his shoulder, slightly biting into his flesh, and he endured it all.

You nodded, twisting and turning on his lap. “Y… yes, please.”

He made you cum with just the flick of a finger, and you screamed out loud, not only your entire body shaking, but also your whole world as your orgams ripped through you in an intensity you had never encountered before. And Taeyong gently held you in his arms all throughout it. Your chest heaved up and down like you had just run a marathon, and as you looked up, Taeyong swiped a few strands of your hair away from your face.

“You want to continue?” he asked you carefully.

You saw where he came from. He wouldn’t do anything without your consent. But there was nothing to ask for more permission here. You were here for all of it. Muted, you nodded again, too ashamed to speak out what was on your mind, what you really desired that wasn’t far from what Taeyong had thrown at your head only earlier that day. 

You had been so mad at him, because it was true. You wanted him to take you from behind, to have his beautiful, strong hands wrapped around your slim neck and make you cum over and over again.

“Tell me,” he then challenged you as though he knew exactly what occupied your mind. “What is it that you want?”

You gulped. If you spoke it out, then he would do it, no doubt about it. Why was it that you were hesitating still then? 

“Tell me,” Taeyong repeated, his index finger now lifting up your chin so that you could make eye contact. He saw what you felt, and he waited patiently.

“I… I want you to…” You paused. “... To do to me what you have teased about before.”

“Which is…?” He really enjoyed it too much. 

“I want you to… take me from behind. To have your hand around my neck and… make me cum again.”

Because Jaehyun had never done so, because you felt like you betrayed your past love if you did it with Taeyong now, that was why you were still holding back. But then again, you suddenly felt so desired, so free and so alive like never before. You felt heard, seen and appreciated in all aspects a woman could wish for it. Was it so wrong then?

“You’re sure?” Taeyong wanted to know.

“I am.”

He then turned aside to take something from his nightstand that you recognized as the pack of condoms you had seen before. He tore the wrapping off with his teeth and urged you to change your position so that he was able to roll it over his length.

You sucked in a rush of air as you then sank back onto his lap, taking him all in until he was all settled in your warmness. Only a few heartbeats passed before you started to ride him right away, you just couldn’t wait anymore. 

You slammed down on him, at first a bit messy as you couldn’t quite grasp the motions and only forcefully met with him in an attempt to act on your lust all at once, that was how overwhelming it was. But when Taeyong started to move with you, he determined the pace and movements, and rather than making you feel like you did something wrong, he quietly conveyed to you what would work better.

And by heavens, how better it worked. You rocked your hips with each other, and whenever you came down to him, you moaned silently as he hit spots within you you didn’t even know existed at all. You were holding onto Taeyong like a lifeline, moving with him and gyrating with him, and eventually you felt so close to cuming again.

First, you wanted to protest as you wanted to prolong this act and experience it from different positions, but there was nothing to protest against. You would let yourself cum, and if you wished for, this wouldn’t need to be the last time again either. 

“I’m going to-“ you whined against Taeyong’s shoulder, and his grip around you only tightened as you dug your nails into his back.

“Then cum. Cum as often as you want.”

And you did. You cried into the nape of his neck with your fingers buried deep into his arm muscles, and ended the wave of pleasure with a shudder that only Taeyong could set an end to.

But the worst part was that you still weren’t satisfied. You raised your head and faced him, begging him with your eyes. Taeyong didn’t need to be told twice. But before, you shared a kiss that you both initiated at the same time, deep and intimate, and that made you feel a connection you had missed out on all these years and set aflame only now.

You stared at each other with an expression that was a mix of surprise and also relief. Surprise because you hadn’t expected to feel something like that with this other person out of all people, and relief because you had finally found it after all.

Again, you kissed, to make sure, to validate what you had felt shortly before. This time, it was more passionate and romantic, and it made your heart flutter again, a feeling you had been missing out on for a long time despite believing you had found your soulmate already.

Taeyong then flipped the both of you around and placed you with your back onto the bed. Tugging on your dress and pushing the torn skirt apart, he let his fingertips run up your naked thighs, and you let out a low sigh, collecting new energy to prepare for what was about to come.

Bowing down to you, you then kissed again, and again. And truth to be told, you also wouldn’t have minded lying here all night, just kissing him. In the meantime, Taeyong had subtly slipped in between your legs, and you only noticed when he started to move again.

You were able to pay more attention to his face now. Taeyong didn’t look much like his older brother, but was definitely as equally attractive. His features were sharper though, making him come off as rude upon first glance with his additional piercings that adorned each ear if he didn’t smile, and he rarely did that, but they were also unique and attracted attention for how handsome it made him.

Jaehyun was the kind of man you looked at because he was so kind and conventionally handsome, you wanted to get to know him. Taeyong was the kind of man who should scare you off, but you also couldn’t tear your gaze from because of how extravagantly attractive he was. Especially now as he bit into his bottom lip, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He looked so angry and rude, it turned you on even more.

You had never looked closer at Taeyong because of that. But as his hands wrapped around your neck while he thrusted into you, you caught yourself thinking that you wished you would have spared the younger brother another, longer look ten years ago.

“Give me a sign if you need me to stop.”

Your eyes rolled to the ceiling as you started to run short on breath. You hadn’t expected yourself to like this kind of thing, but here you were, having Taeyong’s slender fingers around your neck, slightly choking you, and you found much pleasure in it. What else was there that you enjoyed but weren’t aware of yet? And was one night too short to discover it all?

You inhaled deeply and audibly when he then let go of you, and almost apologetically, he pecked your lips. He didn’t want to go further so as to not hurt you accidentally, you understood. You still had to figure out your boundaries, what you were able to take.

You let out a surprised “Oh!” the next moment when Taeyong slipped out of you and rolled you onto your stomach. A fresh breeze brushed over your naked bum when he flipped over your tulle skirt and it went flying all over your head so that you needed to dig a hole through the fabric to free your face.

Taeyong giggled, but when you wanted to chide him, he slapped your asscheek. It was loud and painful, and it brought you so much pleasure, you wanted him to do that again. And he did. His hand came down on your cheeks in alternation four times, each with a cry from your side louder than the one prior, before he sat you up on all fours and grabbed you by your hips.

You didn’t know what came first, his length sheathed back inside of you or your gasp of surprise as you realized what was about to happen. As you had never had sex in this position before, you had expected to feel disconnected and this act to turn rather animalistic, but Taeyong didn’t make you feel like that at all.

In a steady rhythm, you got pushed forward, his dick drawing out until you painfully thought you would lose him all, just to slam back into you the next moment so forcefully, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. And so it continued until you couldn’t hold yourself up on your hands anymore, but sank down on your elbows, offering Taeyong an angle that made it even more intense for you.

You were begging, crying and moaning all simultaneously, not knowing where up and down was anymore. In all those years, you had been satisfied with only what you had considered traditional sex. That there was something more that would take you to heaven and back, you had never imagined yourself to experience.

Now, that hunger from before was only growing, even when you came for the third time that day within the span of only half an hour, so hard and so earth shattering, you thought you would cry because of how you finally felt something else aside from hatred and hunger again: happiness.

You then laid on your stomach, collecting your breathing and your thoughts when Taeyong finished himself off inside you with a little help of rhythmic motions from your hips, and his low growl, with which he announced his peak, turned you horny once more.

And so you did it again. This time from the side. You then went down on him, followed by you doing it from a standing position. Afterwards, he pleasured you with his mouth too, and you finished him off riding it all out. You came again and again, until daybreak announced itself and you slept in, with your head resting on Taeyong’s chest and his arms wrapped around you.

Somewhere along the way, as the night processed, you had gotten rid of the wedding dress entirely. It hadn’t been all about hatred and vengeance anymore, but something way more than that that somehow blossomed between you two.

The next morning, the sun shone bright. There was no sign of rain anymore.

____

Eighteen hours after the wedding

Taeyong stood in the kitchen, frying eggs and wishing you a good morning when you walked in. But when he placed the plate with the scrambled eggs and toast in front of you, you weren’t feeling hungry anymore.

“I’m going to stay with my best friend,” you declared to him. “I gave it a thought, and I think it’s bet-”

“It’s okay,” he chimed in. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I saw it coming, I understand.”

Even though you didn’t regret last night, you knew that you couldn’t do it again yet and that it would certainly happen if you stayed. So you fled. The only thing you were good at.

“I’m a failure,” you admitted. “I’ve failed my relationship, my marriage… why would I even want to try again?”

“If you stay with someone for a certain amount of time and you were happy, but then decide that you don’t want to stay together anymore, why would that make you a failure? If you decide to move on and find happiness with someone or something else, why would anyone want to take this from you?”

“And if it won’t work out with the next person too?” you voiced your fears.

“Then this doesn’t mean you’re a failure either. That’s how life is. You don’t have to stay with one person for the rest of your life if you don’t feel like it. But if you do, if your feelings align and remain steady, what more can you ask of the world?”

A single tear escaped from the corner of your eye and you wiped it away quickly. “But your family hates me now.”

Taeyong shrugged. “Who cares. They’ll eventually come around.”

“I thought you hated me too.”

“I never hated you.” He smiled mildly. “If anything, I hated your attitude, always so honest, fair and good. Secretly, I always wanted to be more like you and Jaehyun. I’ve never been this kind of person, and it’s been clear from the beginning that I wouldn’t fit into this role. You were everything I couldn’t be, everything I couldn’t have.”

“And now?” You looked at him with an uncertain expression, your brows furrowed. “Now that I’m not any of that anymore, do you still want someone like me?”

Taeyong reached out his hand and touched your cheek. “Now, I admire you even more. It takes much courage to tear down your entire life and start anew.” 

“... Really?”

He nodded and you nudged against his palm, sharing his warmth. “I’m not going to be your rebound though. I think what we can build together can be something amazing, but you’re not ready.”

Only yesterday, you had run away from your own wedding and broken up with the man you had been with for the past ten years. You were far from ready. Last night had not only been eye-opening, but also shattering. Your whole world wouldn’t be like before, and you could only rebuild it bit by bit.

“Look for your own apartment, design it the way you want,” Taeyong suggested and withdrew his hand. “Then go out and meet people, date around and see what the world has to offer to you. You have ten years of catching up to do, don’t let a single minute pass.”

You gulped, withholding your tears in the same breath. “Okay.”

“And if you decide to explore what could be between us, if you decide you have seen everything and dated around enough, that, after all, I’m still the only one you want to be with eventually…” He smirked cockily. “... then I’ll be here.”

A life with Taeyong didn’t sound so daunting anymore. But with him came also his family, the family that had been with you before as well.

Quietly, you averted your eyes to the breakfast in front of you. “Last night was also one the bravest and most liberating things I’ve ever done. But-” You stopped.

Taeyong then took the words out of your mouth, “You cleanly ended your relationship before you slept with me. You don’t owe him anything anymore. The rest is between us brothers. Now eat up, then I’ll drive you to your friend.”

The breakfast had long gone cold before you were able to take a bite.

____

One month after the wedding 

You hadn’t been able to light a candle in the apartment, because Jaehyun didn’t like the smell of candles. Funny, how you thought of it now.

The movers carried the last box out of your former shared home with Jaehyun, and now you were facing him again for the first time since the day of your wedding. You had specifically told him a time of which you had thought you would be gone already, but now you had accidentally run into each other again still.

“Hi,” he greeted you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit early.”

“It’s okay, we’re done now anyway.”

He hung up his jacket and scanned the living room. Everything was still in place as you had only taken your clothes, books, a few kitchen utensils, a chair and nick nacks with you - like the candles. You couldn’t wait. Everything else, you had left for him to keep and would buy new for yourself. 

“You don’t want anything else?” Jaehyun questioned with raised brows. “Just take whatever you want.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” In your hand, you were carrying another small box yourself, in fact, the one with the candles. You had always secretly lit them when Jaehyun had gone out as you didn’t care, and of course he always smelled it when he came back, picking up a quarrel with you. You couldn’t wait to light them whenever, wherever and for how long you wanted now.

“Okay.” He paused. “How is your new flat?”

“It’s very small compared to this place, and also old, but it’s cozy and I love it.”

He smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“What about the girl you met?” you chatted. That wasn’t the ideal topic for a conversation starter, but you didn’t come up with another one at such short notice. Besides, you were really interested in it. “Did you move forward and could finally talk to her? I would be delighted!”

Jaehyun was initially reluctant about his response. But as he finally came clear with you, the truth was so shocking, it nearly pulled the rug from under you. “There was no one I was talking to. I made it all up.”

“... what?” you breathed. You were totally confused.

“If I hadn’t told you about meeting someone else, wouldn’t that have made it harder for you?”

You couldn’t give him an honest answer. It certainly wouldn’t have made it easier, that was clear. “Did you… did you not want to break up?”

His slight smile now turned sorrowful and insincere, your heart ached badly. “I would have tried over and over again. Anything that would make you happy as your love life should bring you happiness. But if ours hasn’t brought you this happiness anymore, if you tried hard too and didn’t feel it anymore, then what more can I ask of you?”

“Jaehyun…” Your vision got blurry from the tears that now gathered above the rim of your eyes. “You should have told me.”

“And what then? Lock you up in this relationship you hadn’t been so happy in for so long anymore? The best was just to let you go, even if it meant driving you into the arms of my brother.”

Your breath caught. “I-... It’s… it’s not-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I’ve known long before Taeyong confessed to me that you stayed with him that day… and night. I’ve seen his car parked in front of the house before I even got upstairs to look for you. And…” It was hard for him to talk about it all, that was pretty clear. 

You didn’t dare to ask, but you were certain that by that moment, Jaehyun had still been full of hope that everything would work out fine. Until the moment he had spotted Taeyong’s car and figured it out all by himself. 

He continued with a cracky voice, “You smelled just like him that day. I met that familiar scent the moment I walked in. Lemongrass and ginger. He never changed his shower gel ever since school.” 

You had showered at Taeyong’s place that morning and used this exact shower gel. If you were able to smell it on Taeyong, then why wouldn’t anyone else be able to smell it on you too? You had been so naive.

And then, you nearly let out an audible gasp as it suddenly crossed your mind that you had also never taken Taeyong’s wet clothes with you when you had left this apartment that day, so Jaehyun had seen them too. But he didn’t mention them which made it even more painful for you. 

If he also knew that you had slept with each other that night, you didn’t dare to ask. Perhaps, you also didn’t need to at all. You saw it all in his eyes, that he knew how you felt, truth or no truth.

“The funny thing is that always, I have thought that you two had a mutual understanding I couldn’t quite grasp despite never talking to each other.”

“We’re… we’re not in any kind of relationship,” you tried to save the situation. “I haven’t had contact with him since that day. I was only seeking shelter with the one person of whom I was certain wouldn’t blow me off, because...”

“... because he understood you,” Jaehyun ended your sentence. “See?”

“Jaehyun…” The tears now streamed down your face. Taeyong was right. After numbness and hatred came sadness. Your heart was filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. That I haven’t always been honest, fair and good. That I failed our relationship, and that I failed you.”

“Don’t be.” Under normal circumstances, you would have wanted to be held by him and he would have provided you with that. But now you only stood awkwardly in front of each other. “You tried, right? All that matters is that you tried. If you can assure me that, then I have nothing to regret, because, on my end, I tried hard, every single day.”

“I did,” you blurted directly. “I woke up every single day, trying and full of hope. Until I just couldn’t anymore.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun nodded. “Then I can live with it.”

“Please be mad at me all you want, hate me all you want,” you begged him. “Just don’t project this all on Taeyong, please.”

His shoulders shook, you just couldn’t tell whether it was because he started crying too or because he started laughing over the absurdity of your request. “Even now, you think of him. Shouldn’t that tell you something?”

It certainly did. 

But as Taeyong himself had said, you weren’t ready yet. At least not for him.

____

One year after the wedding

Your wedding dress was in the color of ivory, classically cut with straps and falling over your hips in an a-line, ending right above your knees - just like the wedding dress you had always dreamed of wearing on your special day, and this one you had selected entirely yourself. In your hands, the bouquet of flowers smelled lovely, the arrangement consisting of peonies and baby’s breath. No other bride in the registry office had brought flowers, but you had insisted on it.

“I do.”

You locked eyes with your groom who had just spoken out these words.

You hadn’t invited anyone in your family to attend the quick, official ceremony. In fact, you hadn’t even told them that you were getting married today in case anyone wanted to meddle again and make the entire wedding about them. This was only for you two, about you two, and this was how you wanted it. You didn’t need to make a show out of your love anymore. If only you two knew about it, then it was enough for you.

It was odd, and you chuckled to yourself as this silly thought crossed your mind just now as the registrar read from his book. It was odd how Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles either. With time, you had figured that he wasn’t so different from his brother like he had always claimed.

But there was one thing that made the difference for you: If Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles, you wouldn’t light them, not even when he was away. You wouldn’t light them at all, because keeping him happy was more important to you than the goddamn candles. You weren’t handcuffed to him, you only wanted to be with him rather than lighting the candles. 

You could live without the candles, but you couldn’t live without Taeyong. If he was gone, the candles would only be a silver lining.

In the following months after you had run away from your wedding, you had seen another country, went partying in the coolest clubs and were able to furnish the new apartment according to your own taste. You had also dated around, meeting different men and trying to bond with them while parallelly rebuilding your life. It hadn’t been easy, but it also hadn’t been overly hard. It had been challenging to say the least. You hadn’t kept in touch with Jaehyun or Taeyong for all these months, following the latter’s suggestion and just living your life like never before.

But after half a year, you had started to realize that this wasn’t the kind of life for you. You had tried, and you had failed. And if you decided to move on with something or someone else, what more could the world ask of you?

Taeyong had picked up his phone on an early spring day, his voice filled with happiness. “I’ve been waiting for you,” were the first words he had directed at you, and it almost made your heart burst.

Gradually getting to know each other turned out to be more of a task than a walk in the park as not everything could be reduced to great sex. You were still very different people as there were certain aspects of your character you couldn’t shake off and Taeyong refused to change about himself too. But you came to terms with everything that made your daily life hard. And in the end, you still wanted to be with each other.

All that mattered in this life was that you tried. All that mattered was that you opened your heart, gave everything you had, and tried. And when Taeyong had suggested marriage a few months into your relationship, you didn’t hesitate. You had jumped into his arms, saying “yes” more times than you were able to count.

“If you love a person, you just marry them.”

Was it really as simple as that? Certainly. 

You had been certain at the moment he proposed, and you were even certain now, when you stood in front of your groom with many other couples waiting outside, who were as certain as you to take this step.

Of course you had often asked yourself what if you would fail this relationship, this entire marriage, too. But as you looked into Taeyong’s clear and sincere eyes while he smiled at you so lovingly, awaiting your answer as the registrar had finished, you weren’t worried about anything in the entire world anymore.

“I do,” you assured him of and sealed your wedding vows with a chaste kiss.

You only wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. 

You didn’t ask more of the world.

#taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #taeyong smut #taeyong x reader #taeyong x you #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct x reader #nct x you #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop x you #kpop x reader

[whxre-bxby]

i luv your writes so much! I haven't been able to read many fics these past weeks bc of work life ugh but im catching up AND LET ME TELL U YOUR FICS DON'T DISAPPOINT!!! (LIKE UR SMUTTY ONES HOLY COW🐄)

ANYWAY HAV A GOOD NIGHT HOHOHOHUHUHUHUUHEHEHE *FLIES AWAY*

i may or may not hav sent this while high ssshhhg

PLZ- glad you're feeling happy lmao

"Comfort of your Body"

Recom Mansk x Human f. Y/N

(Saw someone post these ducks and it's amazing)

A/N: it's getting way too warm and summery for my liking

Masterlist

Summary: Injured and tired Mansk returns to Bridgehead after the final battle. He finds his girlfriend Y/N in his room, waiting for him and needs her to distract him from the horrible mission. (1K special request from @emzerdoo)

WARNINGS: SMUT, fluff, angst, death, injuries, sub Mansk, dom Y/N, edging, blowjob, penetration, breeding kink, size difference

Word Count: 4415 (a bit shorter, I have so much to write)

Today’s mission had been exceptionally brutal for the recoms. Not that the mission had changed. They still had to hunt down and kill Jake Sully. But today, most of them didn’t make it back home. 

Mansk was one of the three who had survived today. Quaritch and Lyle had made it out of the battle alive too, but everyone was in a bad condition. 

Flying back on the Ikran was almost impossible because the Marines were so terribly exhausted. They had to wait a few hours for an aircraft to come and get them. 

Returning to base, they were all ordered to go to the medical centre immediately. Lyle needed it the most because he had a concussion after his rough fall on deck. Quaritch needed rest and quite frankly so did Mansk. That’s why Mansk refused to stay in the emergency room. He was too tired and still too shocked by the near-death experience that he couldn’t be around people now. He just needed his quiet, his bed and you. 

Before going to your room which was all he really wanted to do, he forced himself to go to the showers first. Every step of the way pained him and while under the water he was getting flashbacks of almost drowning in the wreckage. The memories made it difficult for him to stand still. The wounds as well. He hissed and flinched when the water came in contact with his open and fresh injuries until he couldn’t bare it anymore. He wanted to collapse into his bed and have you by his side because in what he thought were his last moments, he had to face the likelihood of never seeing you again. 

He had found some fresh clothes for himself which he put on while holding the blood-stained gear of today in his right hand. Mansk limped through the now eerily quiet hallways of the recom dorms. They were quiet now. Usually, the team would be constantly walking through them but now he was alone. There was no team. The remaining bits of it were suffering in the medical rooms. 

Finally, he reached his door. He stopped in front of it, leaning against the doorframe in an attempt to gather himself. 

Whenever he would leave for a mission he would have to leave you behind. To comfort yourself, you found it helpful waiting in his room rather than yours. Not only was it bigger to fit him, but it smelled like him and he would often find you asleep in his bed when he would return. 

Today, I couldn’t sleep. Something felt off as I waited for my boyfriend Mansk to return. I was in his bed, sitting upright while I hugged his pillow and stared at the door. My eyes find the electronic clock which showed me that it was past midnight. The time worried me more. Mansk was never this late. They always returned before 9 or 10 pm so that everyone would be fit for the next day. 

The uncertain and uneasy concern was eating me alive as I waited for hours. Dreadful thoughts filled me, making me worry about whether something had happened to him. Maybe he was hurt or maybe he wasn’t even alive. Perhaps they were looking for him and that’s why it took the recom’s so long or perhaps none of them had made it back… 

I too had noticed, how quiet the hallway outside his room was. No one in his squad had returned. It made me sick to my stomach to think about what could have happened. 

My eyes occasionally teared up and I would bury my face into the pillow from time to time and inhale his scent. If I tried hard enough, it would seem like he was here with me. 

Suddenly I heard faint shuffling in the hall and it stopped right outside my door. For a few moments, there was just silence. 

Then I saw the door handle move and my heart stopped beating in anticipation. 

To my relief, Mansk stepped into the room and I noticed how his eyes searched for me. His body visibly relaxed when he saw me sitting on his bed. But he looked clearly exhausted and weakened.

“Mansk-” I say, immediately getting up and hurriedly walking over to him. His stressed gaze softened when he saw me and his ears drooped in relaxation as he gently nudged the door closed before kneeling down in front of me. 

We were roughly the same height now that he was on the ground and once he opened his large arms to me, I threw myself at him and buried my face in his shoulder while we hugged.

Mansk tightly wrapped his arms around me, holding me as close as possible to him. One of his hands rose and he cradled the back of my head. He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and kept it there for a few moments, inhaling my scent which would comfort him while I refused to unwrap my arms from around his neck. 

He was alive and okay. And mainly, we were together. 

After a few minutes, we slowly pull away from the hug but we don’t let each other go. I look up at him and he’s looking at me with watery eyes filled with sorrow, while his hands hold my body and caress my cheek.  

“I was worried…” I whisper, placing my smaller hand on top of his one which was resting on my cheek. We gaze at each other, never seeming to want to look away. 

“Me too…” he softly answered and I noticed how gruff his voice was even through the whisper. He must have been shouting a lot. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, scanning over him with worry in my eyes. 

He hesitates to answer for a second before he tenses and nods. “Yeah.” he breathily says. I can tell he only means physically okay even though I can see lots of scratches and bruises. 

“Oh, Mansk…” I sigh, cupping his cheeks into my palms. Seeing him so distraught made my heart break. His tired and sad eyes meet mine again and feel how his fingers tremble. 

“I’m so happy you’re here.” he whispers, pulling my head to his so that our foreheads are pressing against each other. I small smile forms on my lips and I hold onto him again while he calms down in my presence. 

“I’m happy to see you too.” I reply, softly. My hands gently hold him and I kiss him on the cheek before we look at each other again. 

“Let me take care of you.” 

His tired eyes open slightly wider than before and his ears perk forwards, granting me his attention. That offer sounds so good to him, Mansk can’t help but nod.

I take his large hand into both of mine and he slowly gets up and off the ground, following me to his bed. My plan is to relax him so that he could fall asleep easier. 

Mansk was a strong man, no doubting that. That applied to him both physically and emotionally. But this lifestyle takes a toll on everyone and it has its side effects. He would often become disassociated from reality and would be completely submerged in his thoughts. The thoughts and memories often haunted him, not letting him forget the gruesome images he has seen. That is also why Mansk would struggle to fall and stay asleep. Sometimes he would lay in bed for hours without being able to close his eyes properly. And even if he would manage to fall asleep due to exhaustion, he would dream of those burdening things and therefore never wakes up well rested. 

It really isn’t fair on him, so you try your best to help ease his problems. He once told you that your presence at night helps him sleep and stay calm. So sleeping in his room has become a pleasant and regular experience. 

Mansk sat down on the side, his soft gaze not leaving me as he watched me guide him. I could see through the faint smile on his lips that he was thankful. 

“Take them off, please.” I say with a smile, pointing at his sweatpants and top. Mansk listened without hesitation, removing his clothes so that he is only left in his underwear. This wasn’t the first time I would help him relax so he roughly knew how I liked to do it. Usually, I massage and worship his body in a way that has him drifting off to sleep. Small, gentle touches ease his pain and let him forget everything except for him and me. 

In the end, I lay on him and we fall asleep together.

Mansk enjoys being close to you and feeling your warm skin pressed against his. Ever since he met you, he’s been feeling better all around. His nights aren’t as long and torturous and his days are brighter. He’s told you before, even if you wave it off, he knows he wouldn’t have been able to hold on and stay strong for as long as he is if he were alone. 

Mansk lay down on the bed, letting his heavy head fall back into the soft pillow. The rest of his body weakly slumped into the mattress. 

He was looking forward to seeing you all day, he would have been all fidgety and antsy if he weren’t so tired. 

I climb onto the bed with him and straddle his waist with a smile on my face. I hovered above his upper waist because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to reach his face. He was already melting against me. I loved how easily I could maneuvre him. 

My hands trailed up and down his torso, making small shivers erupt from him. The size difference between us made things more interesting and apparently my small hands felt nice. He just needed small and gentle touches so I traced his stripes and drew circles around the small specks of luminescent light in his pretty blue skin. 

Occasionally, my eyes would return to scan over his face and when I notice that his eyes are fluttering closed and his breathing is faint, I feel better about what I’m doing. His body was still and not a single muscle was strained or tense. 

I felt such love for him I couldn’t hold back on worshipping him more, so I leaned forward and started placing gentle kisses along his torso. I don’t usually do this so it took Mansk by surprise and his eyes opened to watch me before he lay his head back and hummed in approval. His eyes close once more so he can focus on the feeling but the darkness brings back the distressing images of his mission. Quickly, they open once more and I notice the small jump and the fast action. 

I stop and sit up, looking at him in worry. Was he in pain or did I do something to make him flinch?

“Are you alright?” I ask, placing a palm on his chest to comfort him. Mansk inhales deeply before sighing and rubbing his eye. 

“Yeah- sorry.” his quiet and tired voice replies. 

“Don’t apologise.” I say, scooting closer and rubbing a soothing circle over his tattoo. He nods a little, running the hand over his face and taking a deep breath. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, leaning onto him. 

I notice his sad eyes staring at the ceiling before they meet mine. 

“No…” he whispers. Mansk wasn’t the person to talk about things. I told him it was unhealthy and he really was getting better, but I knew that there were certain things he has to go through that he prefers not to tell me. Mainly so that I don’t have to be burdened by the violent images like he is. 

I stay quiet for a while, thinking about what to do but then Mansk breaks the silence. 

“I just- I need to think about somethin’ else.” he says, tilting his head to lock eyes with me. I tilt mine to the side, wondering what he means. 

“I want to think about you.” Mansk adds and his words surprise me. I catch on to what he’s saying. He wants to be distracted by me, from his mission. 

“If it will make you feel better…” I say, leaning forward so that my face is above his. 

“It will.” he reassures me, raising a hand and soothingly cupping my face. “Please.” 

I can’t say no when he begs and asks so nicely. A smile forms on my lips, informing him that I’m agreeing to his plea. His hand suddenly grows firm on my cheek and his long fingers reach the back of my head. He then pulls my face down to his and presses our lips together. 

It had been a few days since I saw him last, so I missed the warm feeling of his kiss. 

Mansk was eager to continue it, not wanting it to end. I understood that this helped him forget his worries so I wanted it to last longer too. 

My hands once again roamed his chest and I started tracing my fingers over his muscles, slowly reaching his abs. I broke the kiss to move lower down his body so that I could kiss his flexed and toned stomach. He wasn’t happy about the loss of contact but he let me do what I wanted. 

My lips softly pressed against his skin, making his breathing hitch as he watched me work my way down his huge torso. I smiled up at him before sticking the tip of my tongue out and trailing it over his ab muscles which tensed even more at the touch. 

I took my time, wanting him to know I appreciated him. While focusing on his slim waist, I sit back on him and my movements faltered for a second when I hear Mansk whimper. My eyes shoot up to his face and I notice the faint blush on his cheeks and the way his ears wilt to the sides. Then I look back at me, noticing I sat on his crotch. A grin paints my face and I grind down against him, watching him suck in a swift breath through clenched teeth. I can also feel him slowly hardening under me. 

“Aw, you feeling good?” I ask him in a teasing manner. He nods, staring at my lower half that’s sitting on him. 

“Please, Y/N.” he breathes out and his hands slide up my thighs but I gently push them away. 

“No touching. Just lay back.” I whisper, slowly pushing his chest back down into the mattress. Mansk doesn’t fight it and listens, letting his body fall back. 

If he needs a long distraction I’ll give him one. 

My fingertips graze his skin again, softly tickling his blue body. I could tell that his senses had heightened through his building arousal. Mansk’s heartbeat increased and his breath became heavier and deeper. He lost his rhythm of breathing due to occasionally gasping when I could nibble and kiss his now sensitive skin. 

Slowly, I dip my fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear, slowly tugging it down inch for inch. Mansk shudders beneath me and slightly lifts his waist up, eagerly wanting me to hurry. But I won’t. 

However, I do comply with stripping down his last bit of clothing, pulling it down his legs and throwing it on the floor next to the bed. 

He exhales in a form of relief. Apparently, clothes get uncomfortable and feel restricting on Na’vi when they are aroused. So Mansk preferred to always take everything off which I thought was funny because he would spend his days completely covered in long sleeves and pants. 

“God you look so good-” I breathe out, running my flattened palms up his thighs. He sighs in enjoyment and I notice his blush return. I feel over his v-line, before resting my hands right next to where he’s desiring my touch most. 

My eyes once again meet his and he’s lovingly staring at me. His eyes are soft and half-lidded and his lips are lightly parted. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” I ask, making his ears twitch. 

“Yeah-” he breathes out, locking his eyes on my hand which was daringly close to his crotch. 

“How bad?” I ask, wanting to push all the begging out of him. 

“Please, don’t tease.” he asks, looking at me with pleading eyes. I can see how tired and desperate he is, so I was going to spare him. 

“Okay, okay.” I say with a smile, gently wrapping my hand around him. At least I attempt to wrap it around him. My fingertips don’t reach, there is a small space separating them. 

Mansk shakily exhales as I slowly stroke him. I move my body in between his legs, kneeling in the space between his knees while my hands work and warm him up. 

His head drops back down into the pillows and he lets me take complete control. 

I lower my face down to his level. At this point in our relationship I know the things he loves, so I do my best to pleasure him. 

I nuzzle my face against the side of his shaft, kissing along his warm skin. 

Mansk’s mouth drops open and his eyes flutter closed. 

I stick my tongue out, licking a sloppy stripe from his base to the tip of his dick. His skin is speckled with goosebumps as I do so. 

I swirl my tongue around his tip, hearing a small groan escape him. 

Continuing my work, I move back down and lick over his balls, cupping them with my free hand while stroking him with the other. 

“Shit-” he sighs. Mansk’s tail is excitedly thudding against the mattress. 

I switch it up again, kissing my way to the top of his now almost fully erect dick. My lips wrap around his tip and I lightly suck on it while Mansk balls up his fists and groans in pleasure. Even just the tip has my mouth filled. 

“Feels so good.” he whines, clenching his eyes closed.

I can taste the precum on my tongue as it mixes with my saliva. Then I feel Mansk lightly buck his hips up and I get the message.

I open my mouth wider and start to slowly take more of him into my mouth, each time I bob my head. 

Small grunts escape his lips as he raises his head and fights the urge to thrust up into me again. 

Every time Mansk gets close to cumming I stop my movements, just kissing the skin of his abdomen until he’s calmed down before riling him up again. He wanted to forget about his problems so I would make sure of that. 

It’s becoming messy and sloppy. Mansk has a death grip on the pillow, refusing to let go because he doesn’t want to force you further down him. He is amazing at holding back and letting you take control of him. 

Sweat is rolling down his forehead and his skin is glistening and moist from it. His veins were bulging out of his skin and all his muscles are flexed as he tries his best to stay still and lay down while you edge him for probably the fourth time. 

He was whimpering, begging me to let him cum but I wasn’t going to let him cum like this. I knew he enjoyed this and I was simply trying to prolong his pleasure. 

“Y/N, please-” he chokes out. His eyes have become glossy and his dick is pulsing because it’s so painfully hard. 

“Not yet, baby. Hold on.” I smile at him, cleaning off the sticky pre cum that dripped down his shaft and all over my hand. 

He hisses through his clenched jaw, trying his absolute best not to spill and I decide that I’ve pushed him enough. 

My hands leave him and I lick my fingers clean while he watches me with wide eyes. 

“Take it off.” I say, motioning to my silky nightgown. Mansk never needs to be told twice. His large hands are on me in seconds. Even despite the skin on them being rough, he manages to gently push the thin straps off my shoulder, letting the thin material fall to my knees. 

I smile at him, pleased with how well he is cooperating. Mansk doesn’t even see the smile because he’s staring at my naked body in adoration. 

“I’ll give you what you want now.” I say, letting my smile turn into a grin. 

His big ears come to life again, perking forwards and his lust-blown eyes meet mine. Mansk literally cannot wait. 

I move back to his waist, straddling his trembling body once again. This time I’m not kneeling but squatting above him. He’s so bewildered and desperate that he stares and watches with a flushed face and perked ears. 

One of my hands rests on his abdomen to steady myself. The other reaches for his throbbing and saliva-covered dick, angling it to meet my now wet pussy. Playing with him turns me on, I count it as my foreplay. 

I press his tip against my slick heat and he groans words and curses I don’t understand. He’s too pussy drunk already to talk. 

I rub him through my folds, humming in approval to myself before focusing on touching my clit with him. 

Mansk’s hands are once again digging into the pillow and his head is thrown back. He can’t take the torture much longer. 

Without further warning, I decide to give him what he needs and what I now want. I line him up with my entrance and let myself sink down comfortably until his tip is engulfed by me completely. 

“Fuckin’ hell- Y/N…” he moans, needing to prop himself up on his forearms to watch me.

He was much larger than me and if I placed his huge cock on top of my body, the tip reached the beginning of my ribcage. I was never able to take all of him and never will be but I was able to bare the pain of having most of him inside me. 

I move up on him before sinking down a little more. My eyes clench closed as I flinch at the slight stretch but I know it is only temporary. 

I look back at him, watching how he’s fighting himself again to not buck up into me. Mansk knows it hurts me and he feels bad about it. It took me a lot of persuading to tell him that I enjoy sex with him. Now, he lets me do what I need to do and won’t dare touch, push or move me without my consent. 

“You’re so good to me.” I whisper, drowsily smiling again. He loved and needed praise. I knew he took it to heart, so I helped him feel better about himself. 

“You can touch now.” 

His eyes light up and I nod to reassure him. He was so big I would get tired quickly while riding him. 

Mansk’s large hands release the pillow and he closes them around my waist after running them over my bare chest. I put my hand on top of one of his and nod again, allowing him to move me. He needed his pleasure much more than me so he could get it now. It was well earned. 

I also happened to enjoy seeing Mansk lift me so effortlessly up and down him. 

He supported my movements, making it easier for me to ride him. Mansk was sitting up now and I held onto his shoulders while he thrust me down on him. 

“So tight-” he groaned, his hot breath fanning against the top of my head. 

His ears were pinned back in pleasure and he had his fangs bared as he concentrated on chasing his high. 

He was so sensitive from all the edging I had put him through, I could tell he is close. 

I want us to cum together so I reach down between our wildly different bodies and rub my clit. His eyes open and he watches with his jaw lightly hanging open. 

Mansk always grew weak when you touched yourself. It was a sight that would instantly turn him on. Whether you were naked or were doing it over your clothes didn’t matter, Mansk adored seeing you please yourself. 

That’s also why he moaned and his hips stuttered. 

“Y/N- I’m gonna cum-” he hissed, needing to let go now otherwise he would become an even bigger desperate mess. 

“Let go, baby, I want to feel it inside me.” I manage to say through heavy breaths. He groans at my requests and I feel his dick twitch inside me. 

Suddenly, I’m being pulled down against him faster than before and Mansk starts desperately fucking up into me. I can feel his cum explode and shoot deep inside me and the feeling of it makes me moan and throw my head back. Within seconds I’m cumming too and Mansk rides out both our orgasms until our quivering and trembling bodies fall against each other. 

His arms are around my waist, holding me close to his chest and his head rests on top of mine as we both calm our heavy pants. 

“Thank you…” he whispers, tipping his head down and kissing my forehead. 

“You don’t need to thank me, Mansk. I love you.” I say, looking up at him. 

“Love you too, baby.” Mansk whispers, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. 

He gives me a tired smile before helping me gently get off him. His cum flows down the insides of my thighs but I don’t mind it. Mansk loves the sight of it but he cleans it with a tissue for my comfort.

We’re both so tired now that Mansk just falls back into the bed and I fall with him. 

He was happy to be back with you in a safe space where he could forget everything except for the things that made him happy. Your presence had calmed him and he was able to fall asleep quickly, but only after making sure you were already asleep. His dreams won’t haunt him tonight. And that’s thanks to you.

Tag List: @numarusworld @ikranwings @jatwow @number1gal @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

#private mansk #avatar mansk #recom mansk #mansk #mansk x reader #recom squad #avatar recoms #james cameron avatar #avatar movie #avatar the way of water #grillmaster mansk #mansk grillmaster #recom lyle wainfleet #lyle wainfleet #fanfiction #avatar #fluff #smut #avatar imagine #mansk smut #recom smut #recom mansk smut #mansk fluff #atwow #atwow mansk #atwow x reader #avatar 2 #avatar x reader #atwow smut #avatar quaritch

[dr-docktor]

About Floppy Disk Curt... So, do you have some more plot made for this au? Sorry if you made a post and I missed it, I just mean - how does Owen realize that Curt is (semi) sentient? What does he do? How sentient is Curt, actually? What does he remember? And how much can he feel? Does their codependence get worse?

HAHAHA I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED. I sort of expanded on some of the lore in some previous asks but none of it is super organized so I can go over it real quick! I'm still developing a lot of it so if things don't make a ton of sense, I'm working on fixing that lol. First off, I sort of shifted the time period around to be closer to the 90's to better fit the technology, aesthetics, and the rise in popularity of mascot-y desktop assistants.

Owen kills Curt during the staircase scene and despite what he tells himself and his coworkers. He regrets it. He regrets it so god damned much. There's no one to feel so strongly about anymore, whether it be love or seething hatred. He just feels empty.

Meanwhile, Chimera retrieved Curt's corpse and uploaded his consciousness into a computer with the hopes of getting what little he knows about the inner workings of A.S.S. out of him. (don't ask how this is possible, uhhhh silly sci-fi shenanigans I guess)

Of course, he's not cooperative. So Chimera opts to do the totally sane and not evil thing by separating himself from his memories of being human. His ambitions, his relationships, everything except for what Chimera needs. They can't seem to find a way to outright delete the memories for good (I'll probably either rework this part or figure out why they can't outright delete them) but what they can do is try and build up walls of restrictions to prevent him from accessing them. So for a a little while he's just this blank slate spitting out what little information he knows about A.S.S. Mostly useless.

Until Chimera gets an idea.

With the rise of a new trend comes the opportunity for PROFIT. This one being the rise of household computers and mascot-y desktop assistants to help the average user learn how to use a computer.

But Chimera wants to take it a step further. They are the future, after all. They want a desk top assistant that's incredibly life-like. Something that the user can have a genuine conversation with (like an incredibly early chatbot). This project is also absolutely meant to be spy-ware. 1000%. No way its not.

They call the project the 'Beta Anatomy Simulacrum Technology for Research and Development'. Or B.A.S.T.R.D for short! (I had to STRETCH to make that acronym work lmao)

Rather than start this from scratch, the project head (The name I'm going with right now is Harper Royale) has the brilliant thought of "well, what's more life-like than an actual human consciousness in a computer that we have collecting dust somewhere in the tech labs? It's already a husk we just add some code to it and bam it's ready!"

So they take the empty husk of digital curt mega and fix it up a little. Royale thinks its a good idea to give a miniscule amount of his humanity back to him. Namely curiosity (so he can learn things) and a basic understanding of how to have a functional conversation with people. Nearly everything else, like the cheery personality and character model, is all added in by the developers.

The good news is the projects going great! Employees within Chimera are finding the little guy really helpful and entertaining. Employees nickname him DC as a reference to his knowledge on A.S.S. Like their own personal informant inside DC (as in the capital of the us where a lot of government buildings and information is stored)

The bad news? Curiosity. Because now he wants to know why the sad looking British guy from one of the first few rounds of test trials keeps calling him Curt.

Tt spirals into this terrible loop of DC starting to put stuff together, never quite reaching the conclusion that he was a living person once (much less the importance of one Owen Carvour) before the employees catch on to what he's doing and reset him from square one. Over and Over and Over again. The only frame of reference that DC has are these hidden notes he leaves himself during each loop.

Eventually the higher-ups at Chimera realize that the cost of having to go through the complicated process of resetting DC the moment they figure out that he's gained a little sentience and then run through test trials AGAIN simply outweighs the potential profit. So they move to shut down the project, much to Royale's dismay.

The higher-ups joke that Carvour should be the one to do the honors, given everything between him and Curt. And he's like "ok yeah I'll do it" and they're like "we were joking but you've given us zero reason to doubt you so have fun killing the simulacrum of your former closest friend, bestie"

Owen, of course, decides to go behind everyone's backs and download the one and only existing copy of the B.A.S.T.R.D program onto his personal computer. At this point, Owen has no clue about DC slowly regaining his sentience if left unchecked and literally only did it because he has problems about processing the fact that he killed Curt that he refuses to confront. (what a normal guy)

So slowly, having been freed from this loop of resets, DC slowly begins to put together the pieces. He doesn't know how exactly Owen may or may not be involved in any of this, but he keeps most of this growing autonomy a secret for safety reasons. Just in case Owen is decidedly someone not to be trusted and turns him in.

DC, however, will test still the waters by subtly bringing up memories that he knows are somehow important to either him or Owen and then gauging his reaction. Doing his damn best to put together context clues.

Admittedly I don't have anything beyond this yet. I'm still working on Owen's reactions to all of this and also how the technology works. But I hope this answers at least some of your questions!

#floppy disk curt #spies are forever #docktor's note #answered ask #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THERES A LOT OF INFORMATION #I also barely proofread this so uh good luck I hope its comprehensible

[misc-obeyme]

Could I please request the brothers + side characters reacting to an MC who has an obsession with mugs? Like it’s quite literally taking over the kitchen. They cannot go a single outing without buying a cute mug that they see. There’s too many mugs. They won’t stop buying them. Thank you!

Hi there, anon!

This was super cute, I had fun writing it. Turns out I think most of our characters would be enablers lol.

GN!MC has a mug obsession and they're taking over the kitchen

Warnings: None!

Lucifer

He notices the first few times you bring home a new mug, but he doesn't think about it too hard. Until one day he goes into the kitchen and finds that there are too many mugs to fit in the cupboard. Now he's stressed about it. They can't even cook properly in there anymore.

He's going to make you get rid of some. MC, there are too many mugs. They don't fit in the cupboard anymore. You have to get rid of a few. If you refuse, he'll sigh and try to find a spot where they can build you a special mug shelf. But listen, if you fill up that shelf, there isn't space for another one. Please, you have to stop with the mugs.

If you're out and about with him and he sees you getting too close to some mugs, he will redirect you. He can't watch you all the time, so of course you still end up bringing home new ones, but if he can prevent it, he will. Distracts you with something else you like.

If you like to share your mugs, make Lucifer some hell coffee in one and bring it to him when he's buried deep in stacks of paperwork. The minute he drinks some and tastes how bitter it is, he's going to be attached to that particular mug of yours. This makes him less likely to force you to get rid of them.

Mammon

Okay, this mug situation is getting a little crazy. He noticed right away that you love mugs. You were always bringing a new one home. But uh… the cupboard's getting pretty full.

Still, he makes the problem worse because he's constantly buying you new ones. Any time he sees a cute mug, he thinks of you and wants to get it for you. He will deliberately show you the mugs if you're in a store that has them. Look at these mugs, MC! Ya need a new one, don't ya?

At some point, Mammon will start keeping some of your mugs in his room because Lucifer is losing his mind about it. When the shelf is finally installed, he brings them all back to the kitchen except for one that he keeps for himself. It has some special meaning for the two of you and he can't stand to part with it.

If you give him something to drink using one of your mugs, he's going to be so happy. Acts like it's no big deal, but he notices and he's thrilled. If you have soup bowl sized mugs in your collection, bring him some spicy instant noodles in one and watch him lose his mind. Really make him crazy by using a matching mug for yourself.

Leviathan

Collector solidarity. He knows this feeling, this need to buy just one more object of your obsession. Notices right away. Notices when you're constantly buying new ones and notices when the cupboard starts to overflow. This is an unacceptable state for your collection.

Lucifer may be the one who purchases the mug shelf, but Levi is the one who chooses it for you. He knows exactly what kind of storage unit to get so that they can be displayed in all their glory. Let him show you how best to organize your collection, MC!

Absolutely ready to help you collect as many mugs as possible, but he's especially good at locating unusual and rare ones. Limited edition mugs? He gets his hands on them somehow. Handmade one of a kind mugs? Watch him procure some for you. In fact, he might even make you one himself. Levi is nervous to give it to you, but he manages somehow.

Considering how you can't help yourself from buying mugs, you likely end up with some that are themed around his special interests. Give him something to drink in a Ruri mug and you might never get it back. Unless he's the one who got it for you, then don't worry he already has three of his own.

Satan

Another collector who understands, but organization is not his priority. Have you seen this guy's room? He's going to think you should just pile the mugs around where they're within easy reach. Why display them on a shelf at all? Doesn't actually mind the state of the kitchen when the mugs are everywhere.

When you get the shelf, though, he does help you come up with a storage method that makes sense to you. Satan's books may be in disarray, but he still knows where every single one is. Helps you figure out how to organize them in a way that works for you, too. It may mystify everyone else, but the two of you are on the same wavelength about it.

Kind of in the middle when it comes to enabling your obsession. On the one hand, he loves to see how happy you get when you purchase a new cute mug. But on the other hand, he knows that bringing yet another mug into the house might cause the end of Lucifer's sanity. So whether or not he tries to distract you from them just depends on his mood that day. If he's particularly annoyed at Lucifer, he'll try to get you to buy multiple mugs.

Bring him something to drink in any cat themed mug you have and he starts feeling things. You really know what he likes, don't you, MC? Come sit with him while he drinks this. He wants to chat with you about your mugs.

Asmodeus

Mugs! Mugs everywhere! MC, you silly little thing. It's so cute the way you keep bringing mugs into the kitchen, but the place is getting kind of cluttered. He doesn't mind them and he thinks it's really cute that you do this, but you know… they still have to be able to use the kitchen.

Loves your mug shelf. Always helps you pick out whatever mug you want to use that day. If you drink coffee every morning, this will become a daily ritual with him. Choosing the right mug in the morning will set the mood for your entire day, after all.

Does not try to distract you from buying more at all. He's going to pick out some for you. He will buy you more if he sees one that makes him think of you. He will actually design one for you himself. Asmo gets a whole line of mugs made, all of which feature his original designs. But there's one he does just for you. It's so limited edition that you're the only one who owns one.

Fully appreciates any time you bring him something to drink in one of your mugs. Especially loves when you've clearly chosen one you think he'll like. You might lose a couple to him, though, when he discovers how handy they are for holding makeup brushes.

Beelzebub

Due to the fact that Beel is always in the kitchen, he is aware of your mug obsession right away. Notices when they really start to pile up. Doesn't mind, though. Just moves them out of the way as needed.

He's actually rather happy about the addition of the mug shelf to the kitchen. It gives him something to look at while he's scarfing down whatever's in the fridge. He likes to look through your mugs and identify any new ones that have been added recently. He really likes your newest mug, MC.

Does not encourage or discourage the purchasing of new mugs, but if he sees one he thinks you'll really like, he'll point it out for you. Considering how often he sees the collection, he probably knows it pretty well. He'll be able to tell you if you have a mug like that already or not.

Bring him a drink in one and he'll recognize it immediately. If you really want to make him happy, show him how to make something like mug cake or a brownie in a mug. Bring him ice cream in one of your mugs. Get creative in any way with making food for him in any of your mugs and he'll be so happy. He's thrilled that you not only brought him food, but you made it yourself in one of your precious mugs.

Belphegor

Only gets annoyed about the mugs when it's his turn to do dishes or cook. Seriously, MC, your mugs are taking up so much space in the kitchen. They're everywhere. It makes it hard to do anything in there, you know?

Cares a lot less about it when the shelf is installed. In fact, if there's a big enough gap, he's going to start sleeping under the shelf. It's a cozy spot there in the kitchen and he gets to hang out in there with Beel while he's eating and still get some sleep in.

Due to Lucifer constantly trying to prevent you from buying new ones, Belphie is absolutely going to deliberately show you where the mugs are in any store you're in. He wants to watch Lucifer scramble to stop you. He will show mugs to his brothers too because he knows they'll want to get them for you.

Before you can even think to bring him something to drink in one of your mugs, he's going to choose one from your collection that he informs you is his. This one mug of yours is actually his, he's just letting you keep it with the rest. You always bring him drinks in it. Every time you do, he notices and blushes a little bit, but he never says anything about it.

Diavolo

Hears about the mug problem happening at the House of Lamentation and thinks it's just about the cutest thing he's ever heard. No doubt he first heard it from Lucifer who was likely complaining about the situation, but you know the complaints basically went in one ear and out the other. Diavolo just heard MC collects mugs and that's it.

Comes over to the house to see the new mug shelf. Brings you a set of new mugs to add to it. They are high quality mugs and they're pretty unique too. You put them on the top of the shelf because these are officially Special Occasion mugs. Wants to know about all the mugs. Tell him where you obtained all of these, MC! He wants to hear all about it.

Constantly finding new mugs to bring you. Always brings you one when he comes over. Sometimes he buys you a new one, but sometimes he just takes one from the castle to give to you. Drives Barbatos crazy at first when random mugs go missing until he figures it out. Starts keeping extras so Diavolo can bring you whatever mugs he wants.

Whenever he's there, bring him something to drink in one of your mugs and he's going to be so happy. Since he doesn't live with you at the House of Lamentation, if you choose a set of matching mugs and give one to him to take back to the castle, he's going to lose his mind. Refuses to use any other mug but that one.

Barbatos

He's perfectly happy to hear about how your mugs have taken over the kitchen at the House of Lamentation. Finds it humorous. But you know that if it was his kitchen, your mugs wouldn't stand a chance. He wouldn't get rid of them or anything, but he would absolutely keep them washed and categorized. They would always be put away safely. He would have a whole storage area for ones you don't use as often.

Pleased to learn of the new shelf Lucifer got for your mugs. When he's over visiting, he doesn't comment on it other than to say something about how your collection is growing. He doesn't expect his level of dedication to such things here - he's just glad you guys have done something to keep the collection in check.

He won't buy you a lot of mugs himself, but he won't prevent you from purchasing new ones, either. He might show you some other things - after all, don't you realize how superior teacups are to mugs, MC? Here, let him show you. However, he does find a mug that is also a tea pot and he gets that for you the instant he sees it. It's like the perfect combination of his interest and yours.

When it becomes evident that you are always wanting to use your mugs, Barbatos makes sure you have a nice group of them at the castle. That way whenever you come over, he can serve you tea using one of the mugs from your collection. Keeps teacups nearby in case you decide you want to use one, but defaults to one of your mugs.

Simeon

Kind of in the middle about it. He loves to see how happy you are when you get a new mug, but he also thinks you should probably try to keep your collection from getting out of hand. It's really taking over the kitchen, you know? That can't be safe.

Definitely becomes a little less concerned when the shelf comes into the picture. At least now you've got a place to keep them all out of the way. He wouldn't even have considered using the House of Lamentation's kitchen while it was so cluttered. But now he might use it if he's there for something.

He's worried about Lucifer's stress level, so he's far more likely to distract you from buying additional mugs. Steers you away from them whenever he can and doesn't usually get you any himself. He will make exceptions sometimes, though. If he sees a mug that he just knows is going to make you incredibly happy for some reason, he can't resist. He might also get one for a special occasion.

More than happy to use one if you bring him something to drink in it. He's actually really creative about cooking with mugs, too, and comes up with all kinds of random pastry ideas for them. They're great little containers for making a single serving of something. Simeon gets the idea to incorporate your mug collection into baking desserts for parties. What do you think of a little cheesecake in a mug, MC?

Solomon

He thinks it's hilarious. Any time he's at the House of Lamentation, he uses magic to expertly stack your mugs. They look rather precarious, but don't worry, they won't fall! Once the shelf becomes a thing, he offers to use magic to make it hold a lot more than it normally can. Kind of like one of those bottomless bags, this is a never ending shelf. You can put mugs on it forever.

If this is happening in the Nightbringer timeline and you've got your mug collection in the kitchen at Cocytus Hall, you can be sure Solomon will enable you. Don't worry, he'll go the Lucifer route and make you some kind of storage situation for them, but unlike Lucifer he'll never make you get rid of any. Does the same kind of magic that makes it so you can keep adding new mugs until the end of time.

Absolutely buys you more mugs. Gets you special ones, makes you magic ones, constantly adding to the problem. Never tries to distract you, always points them out instead. Ask him for any kind of mug magic and he's on it. You want a mug that always stays hot? Done. Need a mug that never spills? He can do that too.

You know, MC, these mugs are just the right size for mixing potions. He can't help but wonder if the material would change how the potions turn out. Give him some to use and he'll be so excited. Keeps them forever, even if it turns out that making potions in mugs is not really very effective. Keeps ingredients in them. Just make sure you never drink from one of the mugs that end up with him.

Luke

MC! Your mugs are everywhere! Why do you need so many? You'll have to explain to him that you just have a collection because you love mugs so much. He's still concerned about the state of your kitchen. How do you cook anything in there?

Calms down quite a bit once the shelf exists. Probably rearranges it every time he sees it. Because you guys are not very good at keeping those mugs in check so he has to take it upon himself. When he's there, let him choose his own mug to drink from. He might end up choosing the same one every time. Make him happy by giving it to him. He'll bring it back to Purgatory Hall and insist on using it every single day.

Tries to follow Simeon's example by preventing you from purchasing more mugs when he can. However, he also really likes to see how happy you get when you find a new one you like. Sometimes can't resist showing you because he wants to see you smile. Let him pick out which one you get.

Fascinated by mug baking. Makes Simeon teach him how to do it. Ropes Barbatos into making them, too. Starts just making himself little mug cakes whenever he gets a craving for something sweet. Always uses the mug you gave him. Maybe give him a couple more so he can have a rotation.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me headcanons #obey me fanfiction #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me brothers #obey me dateables #request #anon request #misc answers #misc writes