#haikyuu suicide

[mrs-kodzuken]

Forgive me if I jump too? ♡

Pairing: Kōtarō Bokuto x fem!reader x Keiji Akaashi

WC: 2.3k

Genre: angst to slight fluff (comfort)

CW: 3rd pov omniscient, fem!reader, switches to 1st fem!pov nearing end, poly relationship, suicide, suicidal thoughts, death, blood (kinda descriptive) angst to semi fluff (comfort) at the end

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

The day felt as if it wasn't ever going to end for (Y/n). She trudged her way home, feeling more numb than usual.

She promised herself that it wasn't going to be today, that she could continue being 'happy'.

But hell, she didn't even know what being happy felt like anymore. Her two special boys came to mind, and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't shake the feeling.

Regret.

(Y/n) tried so hard to be strong, to live, and to actually be happy. However, it seems as if the world didn't care.

She looked up at the moon from her bedroom window. The stars shone so brightly, as if they knew what she was going to do that night.

A small, horrific smile graced her lips as she thought of the peace she'd feel when she was gone.

Opening her window, she could feel the breeze dancing through her hair. She wanted to feel that again, and even though it was late—practically almost three in the morning—she climbed out of her window.

When she took her bike, the one she used to ride so much, memories filled her head as she peddled down the road.

She knew exactly where she wanted—no, needed—to go.

(Y/n)'s heavy breathing filled the cold air around her, pinching her lungs. She calmly walked up the staircase of the abandoned building.

With each step she took, she felt more and more at peace. It was as if she could just float up them.

When she reached the top, she pulled out her phone.

The electronic light lit up, giving her a view of her wallpaper. It was between her lovers and her; they had gotten ice cream on that hot summer day.

Kōtarō had accidentally dropped his, making Keiji share, only because he wanted to.

She immediately started a call with the two of them. wanting to hear their voices once more. Just once.

Keiji had heard the noisy mobile device wake him from his slumber. The caller ID showing 'my owls', he instantly picked it up.

"Hello? (Y/n), Kō, what are you two doing up?" Keiji's groggy voice filled the air.

"I wasn't up," Kōtarō finally said sluggishly, not wanting to be scolded this late.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." (Y/n) lied straight through her teeth to her boyfriends.

"Do you need us to come over? Is something wrong?" Bokuto's voice perked up.

"No, no, I just wanted to hear your voices one last time."

Those words grabbed Akaashi's attention, making him get a hold of his senses.

"(Y/n), what do you mean by that? Where are you?" He got up in a rush, grabbing a hoodie and shoes shoving them on quickly.

"Our roof top, ours, but it doesn't matter. Not anymore. Just know that I love you both so much." She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and the lump in her throat growing making her voice sound funny.

Bokuto had already woken his parents up to try and get to (Y/n) before it was too late.

"(Y/n), baby, please stay on the line, please." The desperation and begging in Bokuto's voice grew with every word.

"I'm so sorry, but you know that I will cherish everything we have." She sniffed, her voice breaking in the most saddening way.

"What about always and forever?" Akaashi had already stormed out of the house, running frantically to where she was. He needed to stall her.

His throat was burning, but he refused to cry; he wanted to believe they could save her.

"Sadly, always and forever, I will not be in this life. but I hope to meet you both in our next one." She moved her feet closer to the edge.

Looking up, she saw the night sky twinkling so brightly.

"I love you so much, Keiji, Kōtarō. Take care of one another, would you please?"

Bokuto had been yelling for her to stop her movements and for the car to go faster.

Akaashi slowed his steps, breathless. He begged her to stay over the phone.

A small 'I love you' escaped her lips before she backed away, getting a running head start.

She flew off of the building like an angel, her phone still with her. The air surrounding her sounded like whispers, giving her chills on her way down.

Her body hit the pavement and a loud, sickening sound erupted from the phone. Blood almost immediately seeping out of her delicate skull.

The grotesque sound was the last noise from the other end of the phone call before it was ended when it landed.

The pain radiated through Keiji as he was on his knees, tears flowing down his cheeks as he painfully let out a scream.

Bokuto refused to believe that she was dead; he wanted to marry her, and Keiji said that it would happen one day. She had to be alive. She had to.

His eyes filled with tears as his heart felt like it was ripped out of his chest.

'This isn't fair.' Both of the boys thought heartbreakingly. It was unfair.

As the late car neared the building, the headlights shone on her body. It was now lifeless and covered in blood, her neck bent in a weird shape.

Gasps were heard from Kō's parents.

Bokuto ran out of the car, almost instantly taking her dead, mis-shaped body into his arms.

"Please come back, please come back," he whispered over and over, cradling her bloody, lifeless body to his.

Bokuto's mother gasped again, sharply, at the state of his girlfriend. She immediately called an ambulance; however, it was too late.

Her blood had seeped into his clothes, making the crime scene look even worse.

Keiji finally had the strength to continue his saddened walk, pushing himself off the ground.

His sniffling came about in the cold air. He neared the building, seeing Bokuto cradling her body.

As he walked closer, the harsh pain in his throat grew, and the empty pit in his abdomen was increasing.

Keiji crouched down once again, his head in his hands.

He started blaming himself, thinking he should have kept a better eye on her. She would still be here if he had.

"Kōtarō, sweetie, please let go.." His mother hiccuped, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Meanwhile, his father had been on the phone with Akaashi's parents, (Y/n)'s parents, and the hospital.

"No, I can't," his voice, now rough, cried out, clenching her body to his.

The remembrance of her last words had been running through both of their minds.

A loud siren sounded, flashing lights of blue and red coming closer to the horrific scene.

It's been a week since (Y/n) (L/n) committed suicide. The skies have been covered in a dreary rain since then, and the mood was damper too.

The walls of the Fukurodani Academy were almost silent. However, no one had been affected the most by her death except for two people: Keiji Akaashi and Kōtarō Bokuto.

A week full of despair was what it was.

Once again, the sky clouded over, preparing itself for the heavy amount of rain it was going to release once again.

The boys had hardly shown up to school that week, much less practice. Being in each other's embrace without (Y/n) was too much. Too heartbreaking. Too sickening.

While it was the end of the school day, Akaashi had sat on the steps of the school when everyone left.

An empty feeling inside of him became impossibly stronger—numbness.

He was overwhelmed by his anxiety and fear most of the time. Due to his life without (Y/n) he didn't care about his future nor his grades.

She was his future, and now she was gone.

He just couldn't take it anymore. Keiji had unknowingly walked to the building where she once stood.

Letting the cold, shivering rain wash over him, trying to soothe him.

He finally let it out a long, painful scream sounded through the air and the harsh rain. He started releasing his tears, sobbing loudly, it being covered by the rain.

Pulling out his phone, he texted his last living lover. It was simple: I love you. It would do the job.

Unknowingly, Bokuto had been visiting the building every day because it was the last place you were.

He needed you like he needed air.

While he walked up the stairs, he got a ping from his messages. Not seeing the double meaning behind Keiji's text, he replied.

A horrible, sinking feeling filled him.

He opened the door to see Akaashi fall from the edge of the building. His eyes widened, reaching out to him, but he was too far away.

Kōtarō held his hand near his chest, putting his head down. It was as if electricity had struck him.

It wasn't fair.

He had lost both of his love ones in a span of two weeks. It wasn't fair; he put his hand in his hands.

"Will you forgive me if I jump too?" He said this to them, hoping that they'd heard him from wherever they were.

The sudden realization sparked in his brain: if he goes, he'll see them.

He yearned for them—their life, their touch, their happiness. For them.

Kōtarō walked and looked down at his lovers body. the rain flooding his body making the blood it stream downward. It was a mess, a horrible mess.

Flashbacks of the same thing happening to (Y/n) surfaced his mind. He swallowed harshly, letting his tears mix in with the rain.

Hair flat against his forehead, he decided not to think about it anymore.

He slowly turned around, putting his arms up. Bokuto wasn't thinking of anyone else; there wasn't anyone in the world he would want more than them.

"See you soon."

Kōtarō fell backwards from the building, his heart racing. It all seemed surreal; peacefulness wrapped around him as he plummeted downward.

His body lay close to one of his lovers on the black pavement. A loss of three lives.

An entire new feeling took over his senses. He opened his eyes to see no rain but two people.

They had watery eyes, holding each other's hands, one out for him to take.

Koutarou rushed into their arms, the embrace of his partners relaxing him.

No words were spoken except "Always and forever, right?"

I felt peace surround me, as if all my worries were taken away.

Accessing the situation in front of me, my body lying in a disgusting manner. I mentally gagged; I did look horrible when I fell.

I watched my lovers arrive at the scene, but when I saw them, a dreadful feeling came about.

One week.

Their deaths are in one week; I'm not sure how or why, but I knew. It was more than a feeling, and I hated it.

I had been watching them this entire time; I even went to my own funeral, which was kind of a power move in my opinion.

My partner's tears weren't something I liked to see, though. The days of school that they skipped, the lack of practice.

I didn't mean to cause them any pain; I just wanted to be selfish for once in my life.

I hoped that they'd be strong together, so they wouldn't die yet. However, every time they did see each other, they would burst into tears almost immediately.

Sighing, I sat beside Akaashi, his head in his hands, while he sat on the school steps.

I watched the tears roll down his pretty face, looking away because I knew I couldn't do anything to help him.

He picked himself up, leaving his school bag on the steps. I followed him to the building where I had committed suicide a week ago.

Hearing him break down broke my heart. I'm sure no one wants to see their significant other painfully cry like this.

Knowing what was about to come, I headed down the steps. I wanted to meet him there.

I froze when I saw Kōtarō; he was on his phone, which lit up his face. His eyes were a bit red, and I could see the flushed aftermarks from his tears.

Peeking over his shoulder as I heard his phone ping; it was a text from Akaashi. It stated a simple, 'I love you.'

My eyes widened as I booked it around the building.

When I came around, I saw Keiji's body fall off the building. It almost looked as if he was smiling.

I quickly tore my eyes away from him as his body cracked on the ground.

Looking around, I was met by a frantic-looking Keiji.

Running up to him, I embraced him in a longing hug. Tears pricking my eyes because I was met with him once again, but he had died. He died because of me.

"Keiji," I said, burying my head into his chest as he squeezed my body close to his.

"I missed you so much." He cupped my face, salty tears running down his face.

"I missed you more." I paused, hearing Bokuto say something from the top of the building.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Kō; he's coming." I buried my head in his chest once again, not wanting to see his death either.

When I was sure he had fallen, after I got over the horrible noise his body made when colliding with the ground, I peeked my eyes open, seeing him.

He engulfed us both in a hug as I felt our bodies trembling at each other's.

"Always and forever, right?" I heard Bokuto say, his voice muffled.

"Always and forever," Akaashi and I whispered back.

Now I knew why I hadn't moved on when I died. I was waiting for them. But now that they're here, we could all finally start a better life together in the afterlife.

Cherishing each other's boundless souls.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader One Shots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed it you angsty readers and let me know if you have any requests!!

the header is made by me, please like/reblog if used <3

#haikyuu bokuaka #bokuaka #haikyuu angst #haikyuu suicide #bokuaka x reader #angst to comfort #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keiji #bokuto kotaro #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi angst #hq akaashi #hq bokuto #hq angst #angst with a happy ending #haikyuu x reader

[zen-the-dumb]

Iwaizumi heacannons cause he’s hot.

(Split into sections) (I apologize, this one is kinda all over the place and there is alot of variety for what i write on this one. Its some fluff, some angst, y’know.)

Bullied!reader

(Physical bullying)

Someone is getting their shit rocked-

No, but in all seriousness, he knows something is up after a while of seeing a few different signs. These signs being purely physical. He couldnt pick up on any of the mental signs. The signs he picked up on were bruises, you being late whenever you had to go through a certain area of the school to get to somewhere, and being anxious around a certain group of people.

Probably confronts you about it after a few times of seeing the same things over and over again.

During this confrontation, he gets worked up and mad. After you tell him who is bullying you and what’s happening, he takes action to prevent it.

If you’re okay with telling a counselor or teacher:

Iwaizumi will do the talking if you want him to, if not, he’ll just accompany you to be like emotional support.

If you are afraid to tell a counselor or teacher or believe it will bring you more harm:

In this situation, Iwaizumi will devise a plan to protect your from whomever it is hurting you.

This plan will be along the lines of accompanying you wherever and at whatever time it is that these people are bullying you.

If they try to bully you while he’s there, a fight will insue.

(Mental bullying)

**Tw!: mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts**

He took note of changes in your behavior most likely. However, if you showed no big signs of being bullied, I don’t think he’d be empathetic enough to tell. If you aren't more down than normal, it probably takes a bit.

Once he realises, he is pissed (reasonably so).

He asks you why you wouldn't tell him earlier. He was concerned that you were so scared to tell him for whatever reason.

***TW!: THIS IS THE SUICIDE MENTION PART!***

If you went to the extent of attempting suicide, he stays with you while you heal from the suicide attempt before asking you who pushed you that far. When you tell him, he probably is quite tempted to go beat their ass.

If you had suicidal thoughts but didn't attempt before he got to you, he definitely was still pissed that you had even had the thought of ending your life. He wasn't mad at you for having them, but mad at whoever had tortured you so much that you had contemplated suicide.

**Suicide mention part over**

To help avoid you being tormented, he subtly starts being with you more. And if they torment you when he’s not there, he comforts you after you tell him about it.

If they torment you infront of him, he will rip into them with the insults.

Reader that stims ig? (Sorry, not sure what else to call this)

One day he notices your stimming and asks about it.

After you tell him its a type of physical comfort mechinism, he’s kinda confused for a second and you have to explain why it’s needed for you. (Whether that be sensory overload, social anxiety, overwhelming enviroment, etc.)

Once you explain this to him, he starts taking note sub-consciously of what situations you stim during.

Eventually, he probably memorizes what stims you use for certain things if you have certain stims for different situations.

Defends you if you ever get made fun of for your stimming.

Reader that is afraid of thunder

At first, whenever he sees how anxious you get when the thunderstorm starts, he thinks its kinda silly or you’re joking.

However, whenever he sees you hiding under the blankets or crying or anything like that, he immediately is all comfort.

Probably will cuddle you for comfort you if thats what you want.

Gives you his headphones and turns on music for you or something to distract you or block out the noise of the thunder.

This section is for a Trans male reader. Dysphoria comfort.

Whenever you’re feeling dysphoric, he will give you compliments on your masculine features to distract you from the not masculine features.

If you don't have a binder on at the time, he’ll give you his jacket or one of his shirts to help with dysphoria.

If it’s dysphoria over your legs or hips, he will lend you a hoodie or baggy pair of pants to help.

Will buy you food. No more context.

If anyone dares to misgender you on purpose or dead name you, there will be hell for them to pay.

*_Requests are open, check my blog or profile description for more details_*

#iwaizumi hajime #Iwaizumi #Haikyuu #haikyuu iwaizumi #bullied!reader #tw bullying #tw suicidality #iwaizumi fluff #Iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x male reader #iwaizumi x y/n #Iwaizumi x Gn!reader #gn!reader #gn reader #trans reader #trans male reader #ftm reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x y/n

[pengujoon]

A HOPELESS DEVOTION

content: oikawa x reader, iwaizumi is their best friend. angst, hurt/no comfort. none at all. cw: suicide. (not elaborated in detail but some descriptions may be triggering). oikawa and reader were best friends before things went south.

a/n: of course this was written by me when i'm almost drunk and realising that i have a crush on my friend for 4 years but knowing that he doesn't see me like that i was feeling sad and thus this story was created. as such, enjoy.

part i

Everyone in Aoba Johsai knew that there was an inseparable pair of best friends, and it was none other than you and Oikawa. 

Even after Oikawa was ostracised by his teammates of the volleyball team, you stood by him and gave him all the help you could’ve possibly gave. Even after his fangirls physically abused you to the point of hospitalisation, you still stood by him. 

Even after all these troubles you’ve gone through, no one could understand why you were so resilient on being Oikawa’s best friend -  other than you yourself, of course. Who could’ve possibly known that you’d develop a crush on the volleyball captain since an impossibly long time ago? 

This very thought was ruled out a long time ago, with the fact that you had a boyfriend when you stayed by Oikawa’s side when his closest friends left him. Apparently that was enough proof to your very own group of haters that you didn’t see Oikawa that way. 

They couldn’t have possibly known that the boyfriend that you had was just a façade you convinced a random classmate of yours to put up with to get away from their beatings, could they?

Shaking your head, you glanced at the empty cup in your hands.

You came to this party with one goal in mind: to confess to him before he left for Argentina. 

Deep down you knew that it wasn’t the right place and time to confess; being in a party with the noisiest crowd and everybody being all drunk and high on different substances just made the setting way worse than you’d expect a confession to take place in. 

But you knew that you could blame this on the alcohol if you confessed. It was basically the April Fools Privilege. You could easily get away with it and claim it as your drunk self talking. Maybe even a sleep talk? 

You came back from the open rooftop and headed down towards the kitchen to grab yourself a cup of water to clear your mind. However as you stepped onto the last few steps of the stairs, you knew that the very person that you were about to confess to was right in the kitchen with someone else, seemingly to be discussing highly confidential information with the way they whispered cautiously as though to protect their words from peering ears. 

You decided to stay by the stairs and lean against the wall to hear them properly; thank goodness they stood rather close to the entryway, but not close enough to actually see the outline of your figure. Your current location was pristine, to be frank; you figured out that even if they left the kitchen towards the living room, they wouldn’t even have noticed your very presence, and thus you stood by there trying to piece together bits and pieces of the conversation that you could hear. 

Initially, it wasn’t anything much as far as you were concerned: it seemed like they were discussing the party and how well it went, but you suddenly heard your name in the conversation, bringing your attentiveness up to another level. 

What could they even be talking to need to saying my name? You thought to yourself, looking upwards to the ceiling with hopes that it’ll be something good. 

Out of all the possible topics that you thought they could be discussing of, you definitely did not expect that the very centre of the topic was you. You’d thought that maybe it was about school in general, and talking about the friends he had. Or maybe even his heartfelt emotions towards you?

“What do you think of your best friend? You know, the one that always follow you around no matter where you go.” 

“Oh,” you heard him say, “that person.” 

Although no names were mentioned, you knew very well that he was referring to you. After all, who would have the guts to follow the famous captain of the volleyball team around like a hopeless puppy? 

But with such distaste over mentioning you? 

“I hate them.” 

To say that your heart broke was an understatement: god, no words could describe the heartbreak you felt at that moment. Was it anguish? Grief? Sorrow? You couldn’t even tell what you were feeling right there and then.

At that very moment, you have never wanted to run away this badly from a situation in your entire life before. Your rationality screamed at you to run, to leave this hell; but it was as though your body rooted itself to the ground judging by the way you stood as still as a statue. 

Maybe he was just saying it to pretend to be cool? you thought, knuckles turning ghostly white from the sheer force of you holding the railing, as though it was the only thing that grounded you to reality. That it's not a dream.

But deep down, you knew very well that it was a lie. There was literally no one in the kitchen. No one - just them both.

No one was even in the same room with them. 

There was no point for him to lie.

You knew that he wasn’t drunk, given the way he articulated his words smoothly. 

But soon you realised: did you even know him? Did he ever trust you enough for you to see him in a drunken state even after being ‘friends’ for more than half a decade? Did he even bother to talk to you if it wasn’t for you initiating the conversation every time?

“God, imagine how tired I am having to deal with my ‘best friend’.” His mocking tone reached your ears, tearing your already broken heart into a million pieces more. 

“Imagine having to be nice to the person or else your reputation will be broken. Imagine having to act like you like someone for years.” He took a breath. 

“I should get an Oscar’s award for my acting skills, don’t you think?”

The way they both burst out laughing after he finished that very sentence made your eyes water. Your knees felt weak, it was as though you could fall to the ground any moment were it not for your arms holding you up as it held tightly against the railing of the stairs. 

How badly you wanted to believe this was all fake - it was just a dream! A hallucination! Maybe you drank too much. That’s it! It must be the alcohol playing with your ears and mind!

But no matter how hard you try to lie to yourself, you knew it was undeniably the truth. You’ve guessed it from the very start: he hated you with every fibre of his being. He never wanted to be your best friend in the first place. 

Ok, maybe he did. 

Or maybe not. 

Maybe he just wanted someone who he could toy with, who he could tease just for the sake of passing time. Who else could he do such things to? You were the only one that stuck to him mindlessly even after others left him.

You were stupidly in love and available. 

It was just as simple as that. 

You couldn’t even remember anything else that happened after that - everything was a blur. 

And that’s why you never knew how you ended up back at the open rooftop, sitting by the very edge, your legs dangling off the building held back by nothing. 

Supposedly - unless they both knew that you were standing by the door - no one could’ve possibly known why your body laid lifeless by the pavement, bloodied with body matters scattered all over from the sheer force of your falling body hitting the concrete ground. There was no explanation for your sudden death.

Right?

a little bit of my mental illness took over me so the ending was not something i could control. but ngl i thought the ending was executed really well and i was genuinely surprised when i finished the story. i'm posting it now because i'm almost drunk (as mentioned) and i have no idea if i'm doing anything right atm. but i want to be productive.

#no idea if this story makes sense bc i was feeling sad and wanted angst but there wasn't much that i liked so i made my own. slay. #haikyuu angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu oneshot #penguwrites #haikyuu hurt/no comfort #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x suicidal!reader

[selarina]

→ Suna Rintaro x Fem!Reader

Summary: When a guy asks for your number, you sternly insist on a condition that leads to unexpected love.

Content Warning: Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Suggestive, Eventual Smut, Canon-Compliant, Swearing, Social Media AU, One mention of suicide in the form of a joke

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4: Thrice As Pretty

Aran already knows about what happened in London.

Suna hasn't touched a book in a while, but he listens to audiobooks.

Suna's favourite book as a child was Catcher in the Rye, he had to read it for English class.

@ejp_archives is right — ain't nobody looking at that dog.

A/N: I hope I got the essence of how guys communicate right

ALSO, check out my girl Dakota Warren if you like literature, I used her youtube thumbnails in this chapter.

TAGLIST: @wolffmaiden @tenaciouswritersheep @90s-belladonna @alienvarmint @kodzuchim@themoonreflectsthesun @baramii @haruskatana @rukia-uchiha-98 @aimno256 @userwithlotsoftime @the-moonandthehermit @alldaladiesloveleooo @iluv-ace @noideawhothatis @vivian-555 @buggy-cj @butterscotch-ripple-icecream @cloudsvna @zukowantshishonourback

#tw mention of suicide #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyu x reader #suna rintaro smau #suna rintaro smut #haikyuu smau series #haikyuu smau #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintaro angst #suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna x you #suna x reader smau

[sunatooru]

Not an emergency request, no worries. Could you do a Tsukishima x male reader (or gn if you'd prefer) where the reader is like this close 🤏 to jumping off the top of a building and Tsukki talks them down? If this makes you uncomfortable feel free to ignore.

Hi lovely, I hope you see this x

~

Warnings: explicit mention of jumping/jumping off a building, crying

~

Tsukishima

* He ran up the stairs to stop you, but couldn’t move once you saw him

* He was visibly shaken

* Heart beating like crazy and vision starting to blur

* But he knew you needed him in this moment and shakes off the dread and assesses whether to come closer

* “Y/n…, it’s me Kei. I don’t know what you’re feelings right now or why you’re thinking of this, but it’s ok if you decide not to jump and come towards me.”

* He takes tiny steps towards you, your eyes filled with tears as you realise you’ve been caught

* “Hey, I’m not upset or angry at you, ok? I just want you to know that I’m here for you. Even if you don’t want to talk and just sit with me, I’m here.”

* You take a deep breath, trembling to reach out for him

* He notices and advances closer, grabbing your hands softly and letting you fall into his embrace

* “It’s ok. You’re safe with me. Whenever you’re ready to share, I’ll be here to listen.”

* He never pressures you after that, but makes sure to do his best in looking after you

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fanfic #hq headcanons #tsukishima x you #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tw suicide #suicide tw

[whore4zoro]

fanfic requests

can someone send me some fanfic requests. I want to get better at writing and this can be a fun way to practice.

I can do fanfics for these fandoms: jujutsu Kaisen one piece Harry Potter outer banks

Jojo’s bizzare adventure Haiikyuu windbreaker

lookism

Kuroko’s basketball hells paradise

blue lock chainsaw man

fruits baskets bungo stray dogs

demon slayer bleach

Tokyo revengers naruto

suicide squad

#Naruto #tokyo revengers #tokyo ghoul #bungou stray dogs #one piece #bleach #demon slayer #fruits basket #chainsaw man #hells paradise #windbreaker #lookism #blue lock fanfics #kuroko's basketball #haikyuu #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #suicide squad #outer banks #harry potter #jujutsu kaisen

[obamousse]

Tw: death, suicide, mental illnesses

Iwaki Idol AU where Oikawa is a hard-working idol who might overwork himself and Iwa is a manager who'll go against all tides to make sure Oikawa is okay. Iwa cannot imagine the day Oikawa committed suicide even though Oikawa had never shown any signs of that, and Iwa was sure to not let any sign go past him.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #iwaoi #Iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #idol au #angst #tw: death #tw: suicide #tw: mental illness

[clementinethekitten]

im feeling.... unwell

#please hq movie come to canadian theatres or im going to #(thinks ab how making suicide jokes negatively impacts my mental health) #....go sicko mode???? #anyway #kenma bjrd cage hands down one of if not my fave use of symbolism in the series #haikyuu!! #haikyuu spoilers #haikyuu!! spoilers

[duckymcdoorknob]

Ducky bae hiiii okay so heres the thing.

Being comforted by Karasuno (coaches too please😅) The comfort is like comfort for like the coaches find your like suicide note in the club room and like theyre comforting you about it.

Yachi and reader are already dating but reader seems so bubbly and happy all the time yachi doesnt know what to do.

Do you think you could do this? Things are kinda all over the place rn and I dont know how to handle it...sorry if this is like really triggering but uh yeah :')

(Ps i have a tendency to say 'like' in almost everything so please ignore that😅)

Also i def understand if you dont want to do this its perfectly fine to say no !!

Okay, bye bye ducky :)

I am totally writing this don’t even sweat 💅 anything for my bestie

I hope that this can provide you any sort of comfort. If not, I’m more than willing to try again.

Nova my beloved im so sorry that this took so long!!

My dms are always open ❤️❤️

CW BELOW THE CUT: Su!cide note, emotional breakdown.

𝐾𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑜 𝑉𝐵𝐶

You couldn’t tell anyone how you ended up befriending the entire club, but here you were.

It happened on a fated morning, where you were sent on a mission to hand another teacher’s letter to Takeda.

You had been in the gym before for a required P.E class, but other than that you never found yourself on that side of the school.

You pushed on the heavy door, quietly peeking your head inside the opening. “Uhm. Mister… Ta-Keda? Takeda?”

“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you.” A bespectacled man chirped, strolling over to the door with a smile.

You mirrored his facial expression, offering him the note with both hands. “For you, from my Math teacher.”

“Oh! Thank you very much.” He offered you a slight bow, “Would you like to come watch practice? The boys are hard at work, and I’m sure they’d love some support.”

“Boys…?” When you let yourself fully walk into the gymnasium, you were met with the sounds of squeaking shoes and volleyballs smacking against the linoleum floor.

A girl with blonde hair, the bangs tied into a side ponytail, carefully sauntered to your side. “H-Hi! Welcome to the volleyball club.”

“Oh, hello.” You greeted in reply, “My name’s (Y/N), and you are?”

“Y-Yachi! Hitoka Yachi. I’m one of the managers for the team, my partner Kiyoko has the day off today, so it’s just me!”

“And she’s doing a great job!” A deeper voice cooed from behind her. Your eyes snapped to the left to be met with someone’s chest and neck. They were much taller than the girl you were previously talking to. “Hi there. I’m captain Daichi Sawamura, but you can just call me Daichi.” He offered you a beaming smile, and his hand

“A pleasure, Daichi.” You shook his hand, “So, what’s the occasion for such vigorous practice?”

“Ah yes. We have a training camp in Tokyo soon, so we want to be top of our game when we face our rivals.” The captain replied happily.

“Ah! Wonderful. Might I stay a while?” You asked, smiling at both him and Yachi.

“Of course!” Daichi cheered, “Boys! Circle up, I’ve got someone I want you to meet!”

And the rest was history. You quickly befriended the entire team, and they soon became like your family. Ukai and Takeda were like fathers to you, the third years being like your cool, older siblings, and the underclassmen being your annoying little siblings.

Eventually, Yachi had braved her most anxiety-inducing quest yet. She had asked you to be her partner. Of course, you instantly said yes.

Life was wonderful, you were content. Everything was seemingly going well.

The team never noticed anything off about you. Anyone that was asked would always give the same response about how happy-go-lucky you always were.

They unfortunately didn’t see the truth behind your smile. The days grew increasingly difficult to even just try and survive the school day. But, you didn’t want the team to feel bad, so you kept it hidden.

You don’t know what led you to this moment, but you found yourself huddled over a piece of paper in the club room. Tears dripped down your face as you wrote all of your troubles away, individually thanking each member of your newfound “family.”

You folded it up and nearly placed it amongst your things. Retreating to the bathroom to clean up, you missed it falling onto the floor.

As they’ve always said, curiosity killed the cat…

When you entered the gym, you wiped your eyes and were met with the team’s eyes all locking on you.

“Is there something in my hair? What did I do? Wha-“

You were cut off by Sugawara pulling you into a gentle embrace. “Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone. Please don’t suffer in silence anymore, let us help you shoulder the burden.” he whispered.

At that moment, you noticed how almost all of the players were fighting the tears that were in their eyes. You sighed, settling deeper into the embrace. “I’m fine, guys. I don’t understand what the big deal is, I just went to the bathroom, that’s all.”

Hinata’s panicked voice pierced through the previously silent room, “(Y/N), how could you act like everything’s normal? We all saw-“

“(Y/N).” When another hand graced the small of your back, you felt the first set pull away. “Can you and me and Specs talk real quick?” The hand belonged to Coach Ukai, who looked as if he would break in any second.

“Stop treating me like some freak! Will someone please just explain what is going on?!” You groaned.

“Y-Your note.” Yachi’s mousy voice was the first one to sound. “Tadashi f-found it.”

“What note? What the hell are you-“ then, the realization hit. “Oh god, no nonono that’s-“

“(Y/N)-“ Yachi made an attempt to calm you.

“No, that’s- you weren’t supposed to see that, no one was.”

“(Y/N) please just-“ It was Suga this time.

“I thought that I had put it away! Damn it, this wasn’t supposed to happen. You all have so much to deal with already and-“

“Hey, I’m here kiddo.” Coach Ukai’s gentle voice rumbled inside his chest as he pulled you into a hug, “You’re safe here. Please, don’t keep this inside anymore.”

So, you let go.

A common feeling of heartbreak struck deep within the team, as your loud, pained lamentations reverberated off of the walls of the gym.

“I’ve got you. I promise you, you’re going to be alright. I won’t let anything harm you, let alone not yourself.” Ukai softly whispered, cradling the back of your head. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whimpered, “Y-You shouldn’t hav-have to do this.”

Without you noticing, Takeda had carefully moved by your side. He placed the gentlest hand on your head, trying desperately to show some support. “It doesn’t matter what we should or shouldn’t have to do. Right now, you need our help. You do so much for us, so how could we ignore you when it’s our turn to help?”

Within a few short minutes, the team had circled around you and their coaches, holding you tight in a group hug. After the hug, they sat in a circle around you, minus Suga, who sat behind you and held you close.

“Please, (Y/N), don’t keep this to yourself any longer. Will you help us understand?” You were slightly alarmed to hear Ennoshita’s tender voice break the tension, for he had always been rather soft-spoken.

“I couldn’t begin to explain…” you confessed, “There are so many little factors and I just can’t keep up. I didn’t want to say anything because you have nationals coming up soon, and God… poor Yachi I just couldn’t-“

“I-I’ll admit it took me by surprise, (Y/N), but I’m not mad at you. I didn’t expect it, since you hid it so well. But I want you to always know that I’m- no… we’re here for you whenever you need us.”

“Even if it’s really early in the morning,” Nishinoya interrupted, “I don’t sleep much during the night, so I’ll always be down for a rant session. I can’t promise you that I won’t try to fight whoever’s making you feel this way.”

The corners of your lips upturned into a soft, gratuitous smile.

“You are loved, (Y/N). Even if it may seem like all hope is lost, just remember that you have three big brothers who would literally fight God for you.” Suga said with a tinge of playfulness.

“I for one would not fight God, I wholeheartedly think that he would win and send me to purgatory. And my purgatory is just going to be watching a compilation of all of my embarrassing moments in middle school, so I’ll provide medical aide.” Asahi noted, dismissing the silly idea.

His words made you fall into a fit of gentle laughter, the sounds causing the rest of the team to follow.

“It won’t be easy.” Takeda finally spoke, “But know that we all want you to be the best person that you can.”

A chorus of different affirmative words filled the gym, showing the support of your “family”.

“Yeah, we love you or whatever, doofus.” Tsukishima quipped, ruffling your hair from his seated position to your left.

Takeda was right; it won’t be easy. But, with a family like this? What could it hurt to try?

—————♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎—————

#haikyuu emergency requests #ducky’s emergency requests #haikyuu #hq #haikyu #haikyu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader imagine #Hq x reader imagine #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #hq imagine #hq imagines #haikyuu x reader comfort #hq x reader comfort #haikyuu comfort #hq comfort #tw suicide #cw suicide #anime #anime x reader #anime imagines #anime comfort #anime x reader comfort

[sugawarassoccerlover]

a/n: very self indulgent thing because life is shit im tired god I need a hug warnings: depression, burnout, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation(everyones fine, no one dies), crying, angst genre: angst to hurt/comfort pairing: Sugawara x gn!reader

you had been barely making your way though the past week. you pushed through conversations and interactions with other people, trying your best to not concern your friends about your mental state. especially not Koushi. he's an ideal boyfriend, perceptive, caring, sweet, generous, sympathetic, and kind. however, lately you've been feeling as if you'd been taking advantage of those characteristics of his, and you felt awful for it.

so you were starting to do "better". journaling instead of venting to him, drawing on your arm or crying in your room instead of crying in his arms. going to your pet instead of going to him. not to say that you didn't spend time with him, you'd go on dates or just hang out with him if he asked, but no time was spent concerning you.

you did what was necessary, even more than what was necessary actually. you planned for the next school year, went to work and did everything that was asked of you, helped your friends and family with their jobs, their problems, and helped them plan their own weeks. you babysat for some friends and family members when asked, and even ran errands for others.

not to mention in your family, you had to be the parent. you had to mediate and calm things down when things when wrong. you had to care for your siblings when something was happening. you had to control and handle the conversation with your parents if anything were to be accomplished.

though you kept yourself busy, nothing ever really stood out to you, each day feeling bland by the end of it. you never knew what day it was, or how much time had passed, time just stopped feeling real. you were getting tired. exhausted even. what went from helping out occasionally turned into giving your own life to be at everyone's beck and call. you rarely had time for yourself, not that you cared. however, everything you had been doing started to catch up with you.

you found yourself laying in bed one... what day was it? Saturday maybe? not that it mattered anymore. you were so tired, so done. you knew you were being used, and you were sick of it, but you didnt know how to put your foot down. you felt like you'd be a terrible friend or person in general if you ever told anyone know. as you started to go in a downward spiral of feeling trapped, a frighteningly satisfying thought popped up in your mind. you could just end it.

no one ever requires anything of a dead person. the more you thought about it, the more you felt as if it was necessary. you didn't even feel sad, no remorse, no fear, just exhaustion. you wanted to be done with this. with life. sighing, you thought to yourself how pitiful you were. you were going to end it over being tired. you cursed yourself. weak, stupid, idiot. how come people can handle more pressure than me? oh well. you wouldn't have to think about it for too long. just keep going, maybe even enjoy yourself until you're gone. you thought you'd give yourself maybe a day or two.

"y/n?" came your boyfriend's voice from the hallway of your apartment. you nearly forgot you had given him your apartment key, so that must have been how he got in.

oh shit.

you cleared your throat. "oh hey babe!"

"I've called your name like seven times now, are you alright?" Koushi frowned as he stepped in your room.

he looked... nice. did he prep himself up for something?

"oh yeah, I'm good, just tired," you forced a smile.

"just tired? darling I sent you text reminders of our date and you didnt even read them." you froze. "our date"?. shit. shit shit shit.

"I'm so sorry," your voice broke, emotions you had kept inside beginning to bubble to the surface.

"it's alright, don't worry about that, i just want to make sure you're okay." Koushi smiled warmly, taking a seat on the edge of your bed.

tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. you completely forgot about your date, therefore didnt bother to get ready, didn't even respond to your boyfriend, but he's concerned for you? shouldn't he be mad?

"love, you look like you're about to cry," his eyes softened. "what's wrong?"

you bit your lip, avoiding eye contact with him. you'd spent all this time making sure you wouldnt bother your boyfriend, yet here you were. you forgot about the date and now you were going to cry in front of him. what a way to fail.

it started with only one tear falling down your cheek, but the next thing you knew, you were sobbing. Koushi's eyes widened. he moved closer to you, holding your face in his hands and wiping your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. his heart shattered at the sight of you so distraught.

"hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

you desperately looked at him for a moment, before another sob escaped your lips and your face fell into the crook of his neck. Koushi wrapped his arms around your back, pulling you closer. one arm came up to carefully cradle your head. He quietly shushed you, gently almost like a child. he pressed soft, comforting kisses to the side of your head as you continued to sob.

"I'm here now, baby," he whispered, beginning to trace shapes into your back. "I'm here. you can let it out."

it didn't take long for Koushi's comforting mannerisms to have you calmed down to sniffles.

"I'm sorry," you whimpered. "I ruined our date, I'm so sorry."

he pulled away from you for a moment, to place his hands on the sides of your face, making you look at him. "hey. its okay. I don't want you to feel bad about that, alright? I'm not upset. I just want to make sure you're okay." he gently stroked your tear stained cheek with his thumb. "so please, tell me what's wrong."

you took a shaky breath as you tried to collect yourself. "I don't... um. its, a lot." you looked down, tears re-forming in your eyes.

the grey haired man grabbed your chin, saying softly. "it's alright. I want to hear all of it, no matter how long it takes, okay? this is what I'm here for, baby."

his words made all the emotions bubble up again. you were going to end your life soon, but here you were, worrying your boyfriend. tears pooled in your eyes as you made tentative eye contact with the former setter. looking at you, Koushi realized your gaze was so... hopeless? empty? it seemed as if there was so much behind that gaze but also almost nothing at all. he felt a sinking feeling rise in the pit of his stomach. he didn't want to jump to conclusions or freak out over a hunch, but he wanted to make sure you're okay.

"babe. are you..." he trailed off, not sure what to say or how to ask. "are you safe?"

you froze. "what d'you mean?"

Koushi breathed deeply. "I mean are you... you don't plan on doing anything do you?"

cue sobbing session #2. you didn't want it to get to this point. you never did. you barely noticed Koushi carefully scooping you up into his lap, holding you close. he himself nearly wanted to cry, seeing you so hurt, so broken like this without him knowing. he buried his nose in your hair while he traced shapes into your back with his fingers.

"I'm so tired Ko," you said through a hiccup. "I'm tired of being everyone's errand person." you were fumbling with your words but somehow your boyfriend understood you. "I'm tired of being everything for everyone when I can't be enough for myself, I just want to be done. I can't keep this up anymore."

you had put so much effort into keeping up an appearance of being alright and being sure that he wouldn't worry, but here you were a sobbing mess in Koushi's arms.

"baby it sounds like you're burnt out. you've been taking on way too much. I know you're capable and you love helping people, but you gotta look out for yourself too. you can't help everyone if you're only running on fumes," he wiped a few of your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "you're allowed to rest you know."

"I just... I don't know how to stop, I don't know if I can stop but I can't keep going either." you hiccuped.

"let me help you then. how about we take today to give you a break? and then we can work on some things together, hm?" he offered.

"are you sure it's not a bother?" you asked quietly.

"love. I wanna be here for you. you can always come to me if you're feeling like this or if something happens. if you want space that's great too, but please angel," he paused to look at you. "please tell me if you need anything."

"thank you Koshi."

"anytime, y/n. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Koushi pressed a soft, loving kiss to the tip of your nose before suggesting, "how about we take a nap, and then we can go to that bubble tea shop you love? after that we'll see what I can help you with."

you nodded.

a/n: idk how to end this lmao so yeah hope that was good, have a great day lovelies.

#i need a nap #im frickin tired #haikyuu #sugawara #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq #sugawara x reader #koshi sugawara #sugawara comfort #haikyuu comfort #hq x reader #hq x y/n #sugawara drabble #haikyuu drabble #sugawara imagines #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara kōshi #haikyuu sugawara #haikyuu suga x reader #tw suicidal thoughts #tw sui implied #tw sui ideation #tw burnout #comfort drabble

[sinkat-arts]

Daisuga WIP Wednesday: Angsty Edition

Context: This is mostly an establishing bit of the first chapter to, uh, set the (not super happy) mood and current mindset of adult Daichi. Things... have happened.

--

December 2021

<!-- 

First: Turn off the alarm. He will not do it for you. He is not there. 

Second: Let your body wake up. Resist the urge to reach for him. He is not there. 

Third: Open your eyes. Do not roll to your left side. He is not there. 

Fourth: Push the blanket away. You do not have to carefully make sure he remains covered and warm. He is not there. 

Fifth: Sit up and put your feet on the floor, first one and then the other. He will not pull you back. He is not there. 

-- >

Daichi made it to the fifth step before breaking his own rules. Turning, looking over his shoulder - that was forbidden in step six, but he hadn’t made it there yet. Muscle memory dashed forward ahead of thought, and he twisted in place, looking back. Looking for a messy cloud of ash gray hair, looking for the familiar shape of his heart, but finding only a crumpled blanket and nothing else. It wasn’t even his bed. This wasn’t even his home. 

<!--Failure Contingency 1: Don’t react. If you’re still in bed, start over from one. Else, repeat the step you failed and carry on.-- >

Getting out of bed was, by far, the hardest part of the checklist to implement, even now. He blamed it on his sleep-deprived morning brain being harder to wrestle into submission. Easier to say it was that than to go one level deeper and acknowledge all the other reasons it was hard. 

This was our time. Just us, starting the day pulling in closer to each other and bitching about the alarm. He’d complain and cling like a damn octopus to keep me there, and I’d pretend to be annoyed and fight a little before giving in and wrapping him up in my arms. I started setting the alarm just a little earlier so we could have more time like that before the day pulled us our separate ways, and he pretended not to notice. 

But he didn’t dwell on that old morning ritual. He didn’t dwell on the way their bodies relaxed into one another, warm and secure in their nest of blankets and pillows. He called his difficulty with mornings sleep deprivation or confusion and didn’t look any further, not any more. 

Looking at it square - going any deeper - hurt too much, and feeling that hurt made him aware of the other reason it was so hard to make it to step six every morning. A reason that was more frightening than painful because that one, taken to its final and logical end, wouldn’t hurt at all. That one made sense… and being able to see the sense in it came with a terrible, heavy sort of numbness that settled deep into his bones and slowed his breath. 

The first few months were a cyclical sort of hell - weeks and weeks passed, living one moment in a hurt that split him into pieces that burned and scattered like embers in the wind, and the next in a state of frozen indifference that had him stuck dangerously in place. Eventually, he’d asked himself what’s the point? and found that he just didn’t have an answer. The reason it was so hard to get out of bed - to keep going out into the world and pretending to be a human being - was that there was no reason. There was no reason to do anything at all, and the logical end to that line of thinking was just that... an end.

But he’d come back to himself and realized he was being stupid. Melodramatic. People relied on him, expected things from him. He had a job to do, and his siblings looked up to him… and his mother, what would she think… So the checklist was made to keep that terrifying logic out of his head. It was his way of fighting back, of forcing a point to exist. If there was a next step, another task to check off, then he would always, always have an answer to that awful question and neither the hurt nor the nothing could catch up to him. 

The point is to complete the checklist. Properly, no shortcuts.

Today was the first time he’d ever made it to five without having to start over. That was progress, and he was tempted to keep just going but… rules were rules, and he had to complete it properly to count. He was technically still in bed, so he started over from one. 

<!--

Sixth: Stand up. Do not look back. He is not there. 

Seventh: Go to the bathroom. DO NOT LOOK BACK. He is not there. 

Eighth: Take your shower. Do not wait for an interruption. He is not there.

-- >

He made it through the next couple of steps, finishing his shower, brushing his teeth (There is only one toothbrush. He is not there.), getting dressed (You do not have to make sure he did not go back to sleep. He is not there.), and stepping out into the kitchen to get coffee and breakfast started.  

The kitchen was just like the rest of the small apartment - a spartan affair. Daichi didn’t have much in the way of knickknacks or personal affects. What he did have was just enough. Just enough plates and bowls. Just enough silverware. Just enough drinkware. Just enough pots and pans. Just enough everything for one person. Any more than that, and he’d have to think about… 

But it wasn’t important. He had enough. He was making it work. 

<!--Thirteenth: Get your mug. Do not think about the one you had with the volleyball shaped like a heart. He is not there.-- >

He set his plain white coffee mug in the single-serve machine, loaded it with a single-serve cup of coffee grounds (Do not think about the big pot that held enough for eight but somehow only held enough for two. He is not there.), and hit start. That done, he grabbed two eggs, sliced cheese, and pre-cut fruit from the fridge. It was the last of the fruit, so he made a mental note to replenish on his way home tonight… otherwise it’d just be egg toast for breakfast tomorrow, and that would throw his routine off. Two slices of bread toasted as he fried the eggs. (Do not worry about whether the yolks pop. He is not there.) As he finished assembling his breakfast - toast, cheese on top of toast, egg on top of cheese so it melts, repeat - his coffee finished brewing. A spoon of sugar, enough cream to turn it beige (Do not think to yourself ‘would you like some coffee with your cream?’ in his voice. He is not there.), and that was done, too.

<!--

Twenty-Seventh: Sit. Do not look at the other chair. He is not there. 

Twenty-Eighth: Eat. He is not there.

-- > 

Finished, he rose and took his dishes to the sink. A quick rinse had them nestled in the dishwasher, ready to be washed after dinner later that evening. He left the kitchen, went to the entryway, put on his shoes, picked up his bag from where he’d dropped it in exhaustion the night before, and opened the door. 

<!--Thirty-Fifth: Leave. Do not say goodbye. He is not there.-- >

#daisuga #daichi sawamura #daichi #haikyu #haikyuu #fanfic #wip wednesday #there are fun and cute parts to this thing #but I hurt them before I heal them #it's a problem #angst #tw: implication of passive suicidal thought #tw: depression #my favorite thing to do is figure out how to cram them full of Issues while still maintaining canon events and behaviors #I promise the Issues will make sense in the broader context of the story #i also haven't decided if the pandemic happens in this #since summer olympics were in 2020 in canon but 2021 in real life

[pengujoon]

A HOPELESS DEVOTION (ii)

content. oikawa x bsf!reader, reader has a crush on oikawa, oikawa is a douchebag, iwaizumi is their mutual best friend. angst and more angst, cw: suicide. Iwaizumi gets super sad at the end i'm sorry baby. too many tragedies in this

a/n: i keep deleting the story so i have to do the formatting again and again i'm so done. didn’t know people would like the first part sm so here’s the second part as suggested!

part i

Of course the atmosphere in high school the next day wasn’t the best - one of their most famous students killed themselves. Who are we kidding? They’re known throughout the entire province as the infamous volleyball captain’s best friend!

But to him, he hated their very presence. They were nothing but a nuisance. Yeah, initially he wanted to become friends purely because he saw that they had no one to be with - until he realised that they are the child of the president of the Miyagi prefecture volleyball association. Then everything went downhill from there.

All those times that you wore his jersey to watch his games made his stomach churn - he couldn’t possibly see you taint the jersey that was exquisitely his. He couldn’t possibly replace it with a new one, no no. His act would be easily blown by keen eyes. He had a reputation to uphold. 

But little did he knew that his carefully articulated plan of using you to get close to your father was blown way earlier than he ever expected anyone to know about it. And undoubtedly, it was none other than their very setter.

“Iwaizumi!” it was an undeniable fact that he made the group become a trio because all three of you were childhood friends: the only difference was that you didn’t know who oikawa was and vice versa. But the both of you knew Iwaizumi, which then led to the formation of the current friendgroup that took Aoba Johsai by storm. 

From the very beginning, Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa wasn’t someone you’d like to be with - especially so if you’re naive. Maybe it’s instinctive, but Oikawa is especially manipulative and is probably one of the most skillful people pleaser Iwaizumi has met in his entire life. 

And such is the reason why he was worried when he saw a sudden change in Oikawa’s behaviour to you - it was as though he was trying to please you, to not make you angry - to put simply: he was sucking up to you.

But to him, it didn’t make sense! Why? You couldn’t even possibly do anything that would benefit him - until he saw you walking towards the Miyagi Prefecture Volleyball Association building. Remembering that your father was the president of the association, it hit him that Oikawa wanted to get to your father through you.

The situation at hand was not favourable to Oikawa - the party took place in Iwaizumi’s home. It just happens that Iwaizumi’s family was well off and affluent, allowing him to have access to the cctv footage that captures the in and out of the entire penthouse. 

After being taught since young to watch over the day’s cctv footage to identify anything that seems remotely out of place, he made it a habit to watch them right about to sleep, something like a bedtime story. 

The moment he started the footage, he found you. 

It was offputting seeing the way you stood outside the kitchen. You looked… tired? Fearful? The cctv couldn’t really capture your expression given the distance, but at least he could make out the fact that you were hiding from someone. 

Probably Oikawa, he thought. 

His thoughts were confirmed seeing the very man in the kitchen with another friend of his. Thank goodness the situation was of use to him. The room was pin-drop silent, save for the soft distant humming noises of music and people from the living room.

He quickly put his earphones on to listen in on their conversation. 

And boy, he was pissed. 

The next day - with no warning signs and no nothing - the moment he saw Oikawa practicing alone in the gymnasium, he saw red. 

“You fucker!” Iwaizumi ran up to Oikawa and pushed him so hard he fell on top of the pile of volleyballs that lay dormant below him. 

“The fuck you want?” Oikawa shouted back in retaliation, surprised by Iwaizumi’s sudden outburst. 

“What did you say the other day when you were over at my house?!” He shouted, not bothering if anyone could hear it even if they were feet away from the now closely shut gymnasium.

Before Oikawa could even respond, Iwaizumi quickly added to his statement. 

“Before your ‘best friend’ stood outside the kitchen, they were happy! They skipped around when they were outside at the rooftop before looking so fearful when they were outside by the kitchen!”

Everything went blank after Oikawa heard Iwaizumi say the first 8 words. You were outside there hearing him talk about you like you’re nothing? That’s probably way you commited suicide. 

It then hit him like a truck.

Oh god, he thought, what does that make me?

“You’re a fucking murderer!” 

Ah, that’s who I am. 

“You think I don’t know that you got close to your now dead best friend only to reach her father? You think I don’t know that’s what you’re planning?

“It’s fucking tiring having to juggle your issues. They loved you! They were about to confess to you on that very night itself but look at what happened.”

He took a brief pause.

“They’re dead.”

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them. “Now what do you have to say about what happened that day in the kitchen?”

Oikawa remained silent, his head hanging low.

“Speak, you asshole!” He flinched hearing Iwaizumi roar at him. “What is it that you said that made your best friend jump off my penthouse?”

“I said I hated them!” Oikawa yelled in retaliation. “Said that I should get an award for acting that I like them so well.” Although he whispered the last part under his breath, it reached Iwaizumi’s ears and he had to put in all his effort to not beat this sorry sake of a best friend up into a mush.

 Iwaizumi turned his back against Oikawa and began pacing around the court. Anyone could tell that they shouldn’t get close to him right now: one wrong step and you’ll be done for. The fury in each step scared Oikawa - he had never seen him so angry before. Never once in his entire life.

“Did you know?”

Iwaizumi asked out of the blue, prompting Oikawa to look up at him. Oikawa hated how weak he was in this situation, so vulnerable and powerless against Iwaizumi. He hated the power imbalance.

“They have a name for themselves on a public diary website. I interact with them a lot there, but they doesn’t know it’s me. Although no names were mentioned, I just knew it was you. They wrote about what they felt for you and I could feel the love ooze out from the words beautifully articulated in her entries.” 

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, his eyes evidently teary. 

“You’re a bitch. Imagine finding out that your best-friend-turned-crush never liked you and fucking depises you. You should be grateful that they never found out that you got close to them only to suck up to their father.

“Imagine if they did. Your life with volleyball will be no more.

“Just like theirs.”

The pain from your death engulfed them both like an unending storm. The suffocating weight of guilt and remorse crushed their spirits, leaving them shattered and lost - they simply had no more reason to live. Losing someone as dear as you left a void in them that seemed impossible to fill.

Iwaizumi withdrew from everyone, shutting himself off from the real world. The once lively young man with a life full of potential became a mere ghost of his former self. For weeks and weeks, he blamed himself for not recognising the signs of your inner struggle, completely breaking down on the inside.

Every night, he replayed the scenes of the cctv footage on the outside rooftop, wondering what he could have done differently to prevent such a heart wrenching outcome. He would cry himself to sleep every night, knowing that he could no longer find solace in your presence anymore.

Oikawa, too, fell into a downard spiral of self-destruction. His dreams of volleyball success and fame lost all meaning; volleyball, once his passion and escape, now only served as the constant reminder reminder of the consequences of his mindless actions. 

The court, once a place bustling with energy and euphoria, now felt desolate and empty. He turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, hoping to numb the pain that threatened to consume him.

Their friendship, once a rock-solid bond, slowly fell apart under the weight of their shared pain and regret. They became distant, unable to find solace in each other as they once did. The loss of their friend had left an irreversibly deep impact on them, altering the course of their lives and leaving wounds that seemed impossible to heal.

The weight of his sorrow became too much for Oikawa to carry. Without uttering a single word, he vanished from the world of volleyball and from Iwaizumi’s life. Their once unbreakable friendship shattered like fragile glass; the void he left behind felt like another gaping hole in Iwaizumi’s heart, an emptiness that could never be filled by anyone else.

Iwaizumi searched for Oikawa relentlessly, but his efforts were in vain. He couldn’t help but blame himself for driving him away, believing that he had failed his friend once again. The pain of losing you and now Oikawa as well was too much for him to bear.

Their paths crossed again one rainy evening. 

Iwaizumi, aimlessly wandering the streets, found Oikawa standing on the edge of a bridge, the constant raindrops mixing with his tears. It felt as though the sky was an accurate representation of their inner turmoils, hitting just a little too close to home.

The sight of Oikawa hopelessly standing at the edge of the bridge with no one else in sight pierced Iwaizumi’s heart, the pain inevitably obvious in Oikawa’s very own eyes.

“Don’t,” Iwaizumi pleaded, his voice choked with emotion. “Don’t do it, Oikawa.”

Oikawa turned towards the black-haired male, his face a mask of anguish and sorrow. What was once the captain of a powerhouse oozing with nothing but confidence was now a broken soul adrift in a sea of hopelessness.

The sparkle in Oikawa’s eyes had dimmed, and his once infectious smile had vanished, leaving only a haunting emptiness within him. 

“I can’t bear this pain, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa choked back a sob. “It’s all my fault. I pushed them away, and now they’re gone.” 

Iwaizumi took a shaky step forward; he was treading on a very fine line here - one wrong step and everything’s precious to him will be gone. “We can’t bring them back, but we can try to make amends. To live for them.”

Oikawa’s trembling intensified as he clung to the slippery railing. “I don’t know if I can, Iwa-chan. The guilt is consuming me inside.”

“I feel it too,” Iwaizumi admitted, his tears now streaming down his face. “But we can’t live on like this. They wouldn’t want it.”

The rain continued to pour down around them, as though it was a metaphor for the tears they both shed for their lost friend. In that somber moment, Iwaizumi realised how much pain Oikawa was holding within him, how deeply the loss had scarred his very soul.

As Iwaizumi watched in horror, his heart pounded in his chest, desperately hoping that somehow he could reach Oikawa before he jumped. He reached out to his friend, refusing to let go, trying to anchor him to the present, to the life they once shared.

“Please, Oikawa,” he implored, voice breaking with emotion. “Don’t do this.”

Oikawa’s grip on the railing tightened, eyes hollow and distant. He seemed lost in a world of his own torment, disconnected from reality, from Iwaizumi’s pleas. The rain mixed with the tears on his cheeks, but he remained silent - it was as though the ages of torment had stolen his voice.

The darkness within Oikawa was too much to bear, and the pain too overwhelming.

Iwaizumi watched in horror as Oikawa let go of the railing and disappeared into the raging depths below, swallowed by the darkness of the river. Iwaizumi’s heart screamed in agony as he desperately reached out to save his friend, but it was too late. 

He lost both his best friends, and what was once a trio bustling with energy now felt like an abandoned and desolate place. The laughter that had once filled the air now echoed back as haunting memories in his heart. 

No words, no gestures, no comfort could bridge the chasm that had opened in his soul - a void that could never be filled, a longing that could never be satisfied.

just so you guys know, i wrote this story while i was on a call with this certain crush that inspired this story lol XD but he doesn’t know and we’re just minding our own business but still being on the call to keep each other accompany because we’re not sleeping hahaha edit on my a/n: fuck this. i fell asleep on the call again. this happened twice im not letting this happen anymore  also i don’t know why oikawa keeps appearing in my stories like im sure there are other characters too but it seems that he fits these type of topics given his attitude and the fact that there’s iwaizumi to fight him

#haikyuu angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu oneshot #penguwrites #sup. it seems as though suicide is a common theme in my stories (or at least in my mind) #haikyuu hurt/no comfort #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x you #haikyuu hurt #oikawa x bsf!reader

[pumpkinrootbeer]

dumbest thing I have ever made

#haikyuu!! #shoyo hinata #ryunosuke tanaka #kei tsukishima #we have fun here #suicide mention #<- just to be safe #im obsessed with the idea of tsukishima just constantly doxxing his friends it's so funny to me #oh fuck I forgot #tadashi yamaguchi #there we go #I think tsukishima is the kind of person who would be emotionally devastated if someone called something he at all enjoyed cringe #I think it would crush him #:V

[fandoms-for-days2022]

These are the current fandoms that I am in, and will do headcanons for

If you wish to suggest any, please put them in the Ask box <3

(This list also includes games that have lore)

Ben 10

BNHA

Brooklyn 99

DC (Animated + Suicide Squad 1, 2 + Birds of Prey)

Demon Slayer

Doctor Who

Enola Holmes

FNAF

Good Omens

Haikyuu

Harry Potter

Lazy Town

Marvel (Live Action + Iron Man - Armored Adventures)

Merlin

Minecraft Story Mode

Miraculous

MLP

Ni No Kuni (the first one)

Sherlock

Supernatual

TMNT

Torchwood

Voltron

Yuri on Ice

All my ships will be in a separate post <3

#Ben 10 #bnha #brooklyn 99 #dcamu #suicide squad #birds of prey #demon slayer #doctor who #enola holmes #fnaf fandom #good omens #haikyuu!! #harry potter #lazy town #Marvel #Ironman armoured adventures #merlin bbc #minecraft story mode #miraculous ladybug #mlp #ni no kuni wrath of the white witch #Sherlock #supernatural #tmnt 2012 #Torchwood #voltron #yuri on ice #headcanons #fandoms #Rosey-blog06

[sunatooru]

Hey, I hope I’m asking you this in the right spot.

TW// SH, Su!cid3

I have an emergency request. Lately I’ve been super depressed, and like a week ago I was seriously contemplating $u!cid3. I did self harm, but I was able to stop myself from doing anything more. I’ve received the help I need now so I’m feeling better, and I believe it won’t happen again, but I was requesting if you could do haikyuu characters (osamu, atsumu, and suna[separate]) telling the reader how proud they are of the reader. I’m just rlly proud of myself for still living and not doing any harm, and I’d love to hear that from my favorite characters.

Thank you so much! <33

Hiii sorry this took so long but I’m so proud of you! I hope this helps xx

~

Warnings: mentions/hints of still being alive

~

Osamu

* He knows it’s been tough for you

* He’s with you through it all, never turning his back when it gets too much

* He walks in on you scrolling through your phone and smiling happily

* He smiles and joins you, kissing the top of your head and pulling you close

* “I’m so proud of you, baby.” When you give him a confused look, he laughs a little

* “I know it’s been tough recently but you’re doing so much better now and it amazes me how amazing you are. I love how strong you’ve been. I’m so proud that you’re still here. I love you.”

* He caresses your jaw and smiles softly, wrapping his arms around you as you both sit comfortably

Atsumu

* He was there when you fell the hardest

* He kept telling you that it was going to be okay, that he’s here for you and you’ll get through it together

* And you did

* That’s why he decided to make you a special meal (help from his brother of course) to show how proud he is

* He calls your name and you’re amazed by the table he’s set

* “I made this for you. Why don’t we enjoy it?” He grins and opens your chair for you

* When you ask why the sudden celebration, he smiles widely and stands next to you

* “I’m just so proud of how you’ve overcome things. You’re here, by my side, and smiling. You pushed yourself and made it. I admire you so much. I just wanted to make sure you know how much I love you.”

* He cups your face and give you a deep kiss

Suna

* it was always hard to hide your struggles from him

* He always knew when something was up and he was always there to help you

* You’re napping together when he wakes up and just smiles at you

* You seem much more relaxed and he’s so happy you’re in his arms

* “My pretty baby, thank you for being here. I’m so proud of you. I love you.” He whispers before kissing the top of your head

* He shuffles you closer to him, tracing his fingers over your body gently

* He doesn’t know you’ve heard him and you smile at his words

Tip me:)?

#emergency request #emergency requests #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfic #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #osamu x reader #atsumu x reader #suna x reader #tw selfharm #selfharm tw #tw suicidal #suicide tw

[silantryoo]

LOOKALIKE ; jang wonyoung

non-idol! jang wonyoung x non-idol! reader

SYNOPSIS ;  wonyoung hated herself for letting y/n go, almost as much as she hated her annoyingly smug girlfriend (who everyone hates except for y/n). she knows it's probably too late, but that's not gonna stop her from trying to get her back.

TAGS ; non-idol x non-idol! reader, university au, college au, wlw, angst, fluff, idol au, exs to friends to lovers, slow burn, crack, smau

WARNINGS ; strong language, drama, toxic relationship, emotional manipulation and abuse, slut shaming, overworking, toxic school life, mild violence, suggestive jokes, suicide jokes, mentions of sexual acts

FEATURING ; ive, aespa, kim minju, jo yuri, choi yena, mentions of itzy, nmixx and various other idols

STATUS ; ONGOING!

UPDATE TIMES ; whenever i can

MAIN PLAYLIST!!

profiles. SUMA. WYS-THERAPISTS. 01S-AND-THEIR-BABIES. HAIKYUU-IRL.

chapters.

01. SHE WANTS A HAPPY COOKIE FAMILY

02. i MISJ HER SMM

03. BRO THAT'S GAEUL??

04. does she look like this

05. wonyoung?

06. what? x3

07. bc i love you

08. let me be delulu

09. unlike you

10. on my way!

bonus: all too well

11. REI DELETE

12. sum naruto shit

13. keep smiling.

14. men from itaewon

15. IS IT ME???

16. pls [REDACTED] me

17. yh ok wtvr.

18. pissy pants

bonus: she was better

19. A HICKEY?

20. PARTY???

21. Y/N. GO.

22. eat a dick

23. ill give you a whore

bonus: mansion parties

bonus: jimin's l/n y/n.

bonus: wish you were sober

24. where r u?

25. HUUUUH?

26. in secret.

bonus: peace.

27. you're a minjeong

28. KILL NAOI REI.

29. adopt a friend!

30. virgin

bonus: gravity

31. WHAT IS THAT?

32. love birds

33. ill txt u ltr

34. more than me?

35. this.

36. sexy number

bonus: why.

37. my crescent roll

38. baby pls.

39. hyewon

40. youre so cute

41. TAKE UR MEDS?

42. flowers

43. idc

bonus: minjeong-unnie

44. i need you

45. jiyn

46. huh :D?

47. 2kim

48. anything for you

bonus: gaeul's ahn yujin.

49. choke

bonus: yonsei

50. mj

bonus: minjeong's deal

51. what

bonus: exile.

52. tell me

53. ru fr?

bonus: you owe me

54. i do

55. yizhuo

56. JIWON SAID NO

bonus: it all falls down

57. the (ye)jimin effect

bonus: the last great american dynasty, pt 1.

58. the owva

bonus: the last great american dynasty, pt 2.

59. who tf

60. to me

bonus: goodbye, my danish sweetheart

61. malding

more to come...

XTRA: jimin's roster, yujin's kim gaeul, yu jimin's playlist, jang wonyoung's playlist

taglist (CLOSED)!!

@serenitygrace24 @moontealemonpie @writingficsblog @kittyeij @cutieseo @limbforalimb @ahnneyong @yumtooki @lcv3lies @sserajeans @jiwoneiric @babycubchae @trsrina @xyxlyn @misumiausworld @slowlyturninggay291 @awkwardtoafault @captivq @ddeonutz @noiacha @sserabey @d7dream @slowlyturninggay291 @lvwr @perfectsunlight @juhyunsthirdwife @uzumakioden @txtbrainrot @rosiehrs @yunjinhart @skisk1 @bzeus28 @deeznutzryu @jisooftme @danistolemyheart @li0ilthecxnt @eggomi @ddoxhan @zhivaxo @sweet-dhrafts @livelaughloveyujin @luveuly @marimo-anura @yunnybunnyy @ivy-aurora @wonyoluvr

#jang wonyoung x reader #ive x reader #iz*one x reader #izone x reader #aespa x reader #kpop x reader #idol x reader #silantryo