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mrpenguinpants · 1 year

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Overdue Bills

— He knows your fake relationship with him was made purely for beneficial reasons. After everything was said and done, you both went your separate ways. So why does he keep coming back to you?

— Alhaitham, Ayato, and Kazuha

-> Part 1: Please go out with me for tax benefits! -> Not connected but can also be read: I refuse to fall in love out of spite [ TBA ] [Masterlist]

Does this feel rushed because it is. I assumed everyone wanted a continuation but I plan on writing another fic using the original prompt but for different characters. The titles have nothing to do with the fics but I really wanted to title this, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.

Alhaitham

There's only so much Kaveh can handle before he hits a breaking point and this might be it. A few months ago he overheard the librarian ask a stranger how their boyfriend Alhaitham was doing, to which he nearly broke his neck in how fast he turned. From the long pause and the plain answer of, "he's fine", which Alhaitham most definitely isn't given how much work the sages are dumping onto their scribe, Kaveh came to the conclusion that you're another creepy admirer or an attention-seeking leech. While Kaveh wouldn't call Alhaitham something as close as a friend, the man at least deserved to know there was another deranged person spreading lies. He assumed Alhaitham would confront you, knock some sense into you, and that would be the end of it. But because Alhaitham operates on a level that's incomprehensible to Kaveh, instead you've both entered into a fake dating relationship that he honestly believes is a horrible idea. But Alhaitham is his roommate, not his friend, and he doesn't have the time or care to facilitate a non-existent love life. But lo and behold the next time he sees you, there's a silver-haired man is hovering nearby looking at you with the closest thing to love his stoic face can make. Things are only weirder when Kaveh brings the sight up to you, saying that you're both taking this fake dating in stride and he's honestly impressed at how Alhaitham really put his all into this performance. Only for you to look at him as if he's grown two heads. You and Alhaitham stopped dating weeks ago.

Alhaitham isn't stupid. There's only so much rationalization he can turn to and so many excuses he can make but at the end of the day, he has to admit that he never works better than he does sitting beside you. At first, he reasoned that it was because people didn't bother him as much and you knew how to be quiet. Perhaps that's why you've skyrocketed in his requirements of friendship despite the fact that you both weren't really friends. But then he couldn't sit alone without getting restless. There’s an empty space beside him that constantly makes itself aware in his subconscious. One that screams at him that he wants you to be there, not just because you can scare people away.

It's a slow realization from there starting with him comparing you and Kaveh. For as much as he and his senior argue back and forth almost every time they meet, Alhaitham considers Kaveh an excellent mirror to him that can push his thoughts to go further. But you're different. That realization turns into contemplation when you actually listen and take his advice. Every scholar is egotistical to some degree, there's a lot of pride to take into your research, and having your weeks of hard work be written off by a blunt statement gets people angry. Alhaitham would be the first to know, he's been on the receiving end of that anger multiple times. Yet when he points out a section in your thesis to be incorrect, you simply tilt your head thinking before agreeing he was right. Crumbling your paper, ready to start all over again without any fuss. Still water versus the wave that Kaveh is. While some would call that boring, he finds it charming.

The nail in the coffin is when he catches himself labeling the chair next to him as yours. He can't justify that one and he's suddenly confronted that he severely underestimated how much he's grown to like you. He originally agreed to the idea to keep his comfortable routine without any interruptions and your introduction would fix his issue of suitors but you've played your part so perfectly that he fell for it. He was tempted to stop talking to you altogether, cutting the deal off entirely and never speaking to you again. But you're not a saint and just as he realized his feelings, your thesis was done and you left abruptly before he had any time to prepare. A glaring empty spot mocking him. Only to come back with your stacks of books and a nervous smile that Alhaitham refuses to acknowledge makes his heart beat just the slightest bit quicker.

He knows you can hear the whispers that you and Alhaitham have gotten back together. Yet you haven't said anything and he politely chooses to not say anything either. The rumors certainly haven't stopped you from acting differently and he doesn't know if that's a good thing. He knows your language is touch but now he wants to be the one near you this time. That way the first person you’ll speak to is him. By now he’s fully aware of his feelings and how far they’ve developed for him to actually start feeling possessive. So the next time you lean against him to show him a particular paragraph of a book, he wraps a hand around your waist, disguising it as him shifting you to the side so he can get a better angle to read. Under his hand, he can feel how tense you become at the casual touch, how your eyes jump from him to the floor, before relaxing and continuing on.

In hindsight, he knows by all rational reasoning he should just confess to you and get it over and done with. But there's something exciting in the way you look at him with calculating eyes that he stares back at unflinching. He thinks of it as payback for you strolling into his carefully planned life and making a mess. He’s simply allowing himself to indulge in it. Now every time you greet him with a wave, he offers a smile. When you want to drag him somewhere by the cape, he slips his hand into yours stating you'll stretch the fabric too much. And when you need to whisper something in his ear? He'll practically be in your lap with how close he leans in even if there's no one else in the room. He knows eventually you'll catch on to what he's trying to do, what he's trying to say. You've been practicing for months sitting beside him. It's finally when he invites you to the pavilion that he can see the realization on your face that Alhaitham clearly doesn't consider you just a friend. The look of bewilderment goes back and forth with suspicion before finally settling into an amused huff with the smallest of smiles.

It's late enough into the day that he knows the only people lingering in the Akademiya are either passed-out students or scholars too wrapped up in their work. All consideration he's taken to make sure you're both uninterrupted for this moment. And what a moment it is. The pavilion itself is beautiful with its blue and green stained glass windows that reflect the evening sun. The yellow flowers swaying gently in the breeze add just enough color to not be irritating. Kaveh might need to retract his statement that Alhaitham doesn't know a thing about romance because it's painfully obvious what's about to happen.

"Any more and people might get the wrong idea you know," you say as you lean against the white wall. The look of confusion is gone from your eyes, replaced with mirth. It does not make him shudder.

"About what? The library is cramped with people and the pavilion is quiet," he says like it's an off-handed comment before turning around, leaning his weight against his elbows on the railing as he turns to the side to look at the view this specific pavilion provides. "Although I can understand where you might have drawn that conclusion. I can assure you nothing like that will happen. You're not my type."

He can physically feel you bristle even though he isn't looking at you before your footsteps come closer and closer until your form is right in front of him. He still refuses to look at you but he can tell the moment you see his poorly hidden smile. He hears you let out an amused huff before you bring your hands up and settle them against the railing as well. Only you've decided to cage him in between your arms and it makes him turn to you, raising a brow. He's already lost the moment he turned but the cheeky grin you have is worth it. You look really cute when you're smug.

"If I had any interest, it would have died a long time ago. You're the worst fake boyfriend I've ever had so I can't imagine how insufferable you'll be as a real one," you shake your head exasperated but there's a small entertained look that tugs at his heart. That you know what he knows and he knows what you know. A similar feeling of understanding that he's gotten so used to. One that lets him act in such an irrational way.

"You've had others?" he asks as his arm comes off the railing to settle around your waist. You don't push him away, easily following along.

"For such a pretty face you have such an awful personality," you sigh disappointed yet the arms that cage him move to settle around his neck, twirling the silver hair at the base of his neck as you lean closer until there isn't space between the two of you.

"Oh? So you think I'm pretty?" He tilts his chin slightly down, his lips brushing against yours.

"You must have selective hearing." With your faces so close, he can see the excitement in your eyes. He's sure that he is the same. So he ignores the pleased look on your face and leans in.

Ayato

Ultimately, he's just a passerby. He decided on a whim to go along with some absurd act because he thought the sheer dread and embarrassment on your face was amusing and he wanted to see more. By all accounts, your temporary date wasn't too bad. It felt a bit refreshing being with someone that looked like they rather throw themselves in the nearby sea than stand next to the refined Yashiro Commissioner. But otherwise, that's the end of your relationship. With a few words here and there, he managed to spin the absurd story into his favor and reign in the disaster your little stunt might have caused. He's grateful that you so easily play along with him. Not a single complaint about how he lies through his teeth that someone was bothering you so he extended his help so this individual would leave you alone. It makes both of you, mostly him, look good. How people rush to make sure you're okay while your expression flickers between guilt and embarrassment is far more entertaining than anything he originally planned during this outing. But at the end of the day, you have nothing to do with each other and he owes you nothing. Your presence is ultimately inconsequential in the stream that is his life. That is until one day your relationship changes to stupidity and heartfelt sincerity.

It starts off as a joke. Ayato tends to latch onto small things that give him a momentary break from his busy and stressed lifestyle and duties. Plus there's something lighthearted about this situation that he doesn't want to let go of just yet. Unfortunately for you, Ayato's newfound joy is sneaking up on you and sending you into an early grave. The first time it was an accident, you just happened to be easily jumpy, but the second time though? The resounding screech of terror never fails to make a smile appear on his face and you're convinced that he's a sadist. He doesn't even have to try that hard, his steps are silent even against the crooked stone path that he can waltz up right behind you. But his absolute favourite part is bending down and whispering what exactly his fiancee is so interested in. It always leads to embarrassing talks of you politely asking him to not refer to you with that title anymore that he swiftly blocks by mentioning that, wasn't it you who called him your fiancee first? You should take responsibility.

He thinks your reactions are cute even if you're a bit vulgar in language, although to him that just adds to the warped sense of charm he finds in you. Thoma nearly chokes on his own spit when Ayato perks up at something behind him, suddenly dropping the calm facade of the Yashiro Commissioner and something more genuine before calling out to a "fiancee". Thoma whips around to see a stranger speaking with Yoimiya before their eyes lift and lock with Ayato's and their expression immediately sour. He doesn't think he's ever seen anyone show such a disgusted expression and he can't help but wonder what his lord has done this time. Before Thoma can say anything the stranger picks up a firework ball and hurls it at his Lord who easily sidesteps the attack, the resounding death threats only making the blue-haired man laugh.

It's fun. You're fun to be around. The entire situation is silly and ridiculous and it feels nice. Ayato had to grow up too fast, become an adult too fast, and shoulder the burden meant for later years. Something as small as a nickname, an inside joke, something he can bring up to spite someone just for the fun of it is nice. Perhaps that's why he refuses to let go and finds himself returning to you.

It's all a joke. There's no way Ayato can actually take your hand in marriage. Not with your differences in status. You think that's the only reason people entertain the idea, why he even entertains the idea. To get a reaction out of you that he can relentlessly tease and it's all so stupid. That is until he receives a different reaction that leaves him lost and confused.

You stumble upon him in the aftermath of another one of his assassination attempts. He was perfectly fine, not even a speck of dust on his white coat yet you were nearly in hysteria. Panicked hiccups as you sob uncontrollably into his chest, your tears doing far more damage to dirtying his clothes than an attempt on his life. He tries his best to console you but you can't seem to stop the tears and as much as he values staying dignified, he's almost at his limit. Hand already poised to yank you off until he falters in both mind and body when you suddenly turn your head up and he sees the expression that you hid away in the lapels of his coat. The feeling of the annoyance of having to wash his coat flew out of his mind at the sight of your teary eyes and downturned lips. A small, very small, part of his heart beats just a bit faster. An even smaller part that was buried under the title of Yashiro Commissioner perks its head over someone who was crying for him. Even though you've both talked multiple times, you and he aren't close enough to be considered friends, at least in his eyes. Yet you're currently looking at him as if you're the one that's been attacked because of the simple fact that he could have been hurt. It's...strange.

He doesn't say anything as you usher him into your home to fix up whatever injuries you happened to have conjured in your mind. He's never stepped foot into your residence and he's honestly glad he hasn't because your home is...disheartening, to say the least. He thinks the estate has more life than what was supposedly something you called home. It's not that your place is poor, you're not sleeping on a slab of rock, but it's empty. Like you don't have anything at all. The only thing you seem to carry is your small pile of books. Worn but well taken care of. So he doesn't say anything as you fuss over him, doesn't say anything about the horrendous first aid kit you bring, and bids you farewell at the door of your home. You smile at him widely and tell him to take care of himself. But when he turns to leave, he risks one last peek at you, just in time to see you close your door. You aren't smiling anymore. He stops walking.

It starts to escalate from there. The following months of sudden change are so abrupt that he has no choice but to follow along. He wants to see every expression you have. If that isn't enough, he'll find new ones for you to make.

Ayato's first impression of you is charming but in a pitiful sort of way. You have to be an airhead, you must be considering your shared first meeting. How you didn't realize your mistake and went along with everything is beyond Ayato. You and Itto are almost on the same level of denseness but while Itto does everything with blind confidence that the situation has changed because of him, you are the opposite. Wandering into your own mess as you ignore all the warning signs until it's too late. But you're also honest and upfront, two traits that Ayato has come to value immensely. He finds you endearing, so much that it's starting to overfill his teacup. So with a silent smile, he asks a question.

"Why don't you become my fiancee?"

The noodle slips between your chopsticks, a loud unflattering splat against the table echoing through the silence as you stare at him slack-jawed. He begins to worry that he's accidentally sent you into a stroke because one of your eyes starts twitching.

"Huh? Are you being for real?" you ask deadpanned. He can't help but chuckle under his fingers before resting his chin on the palm of his hand. It feels nice to be able to rest his elbows against the table without someone reprimanding him for his lack of manners. He finds your dry reaction far cuter than the blushes and swoons from the ladies that the elders forced him to take out.

"Be my fiancee." he pauses before continuing as an afterthought. "For real this time."

You pick up your fallen noodle, chew, swallow, and then point your chopsticks at him. Not convinced in the slightest. "Even if you haven't picked out a fiancee you shouldn't joke about that."

"Really?" he fakes surprise, "Then how come you're on a date with me right now?"

You choke. He pushes his teacup towards you, who takes it and gulps down half of its contents in one go. The glass clinks loudly on the table when you put it down yet it doesn't distract him from the sheer disbelief on your face as your ears grow red. He thinks out of all of the expressions you've given him, he likes this one the most.

"This isn't-It's not," you attempt to say, spluttering the entire time that remnants of the tea you just drank wet your lips.

"Yes, it is. Why? Is it bad? Do you know enjoy being taken out to dinner? I can easily arrange for something else instead," He reached over with a napkin to wipe your face. It only serves to make you more embarrassed that he's treating you like a child as you push his hand away lest you combust on the spot. There's no immediate answer. He can't tell whether you're actually considering his offer, or if you're refraining from throwing your chopsticks at him.

"No thanks. If I've learned anything it's that you'll only torment me until I die. I'm starting to think I like you even less," you grumble, shoving more noodles into your mouth.

Ayato is a strange man so he doesn't wait for the water to spill, just tips the cup over and starts again. This time he waits for you to swallow before saying anything, he doesn't want you to choke again.

"That's unfortunate. I adore you, you know."

Kazuha

While his feelings and words were true, he resigns himself to the fact that your relationship was a one-and-done situation. Impulsiveness isn't one of his qualities but as he reflects on his time with you, he gets a bit flustered at how hard he fell. He had just met you and yet within the span of a couple weeks, you managed to fill out the empty parts of his heart. He tries to rationalize that it was just the timing. He had been on the run for so long, his thoughts always chained around Inazuma, and upholding his promise to his friend. But then you happened to crash into his life, quite literally, and everything slowed to a stop at that moment. Originally it was just to protect you from a clingy admirer but then you started asking about him. What his hobbies were, what kind of dreams he had, and whether or not he would like to learn how to fly. Every day and night sitting beside you on the crow's nest, the gentle sway of the waters rocking the boat, and the backdrop of noise down on the deck was the most serene Kazuha has ever felt since he left Inazuma. But all things must come to an end eventually and even though Kazuha knows that this might be the end, you look so hopefully at him that he can't help but try to push the end to tomorrow. He just needs to garner the strength to move.

Beidou asks if he's sure about his decision to leave the Crux and wander on his own. It's not nice to make you wait even though she knows you and when you say you'll wait, you're going to damn wait no matter how long it takes. But he reassures her that he's still not ready. As much as he wants to run over the water back to Liyue, he doesn't want to bring along conflicted and aimless feelings. But he will hurry, he's been running for so long, he can run a little further for something and someone for himself. It's a bit selfish but Beidou gives him an exasperated soft smile that lets him know it's not a bad thing. Although with each passing day Beidou's ship ports, it gets harder and harder for her to break the news that Kazuha is still not back. Beidou does her best to reassure you that Kazuha isn't stringing you along, she would have drowned him in the ocean if he was that low of a guy, but she can tell that with each visit your expression grows more and more distant. Watching how you're the first one to rush down the wooden bridges with a hopeful expression that one-day Kazuha might be there only to leave with a sad smile. It makes her want to track her problem child down and bring him back to you. Not that she has any idea where he wandered too.

He ends up in the forests of Sumeru. His keen sense of smell aids him as he treks through the wilderness until he meets a strange forest watcher and a girl in green. Their a bit of an odd pair but so is Kazuha and they become fast friends. Apparently, his calm demeanor is a breath of fresh air and it's enough that they don't pry into his history. Although there are moments when he can feel their eyes on him. Perhaps living in the forest has led them both to be aware of subtle changes far better than Kazuha can smell. It starts when they trek towards the small lakes and waterbeds to gather niloptala lotus for Tighnari that he sees it. An anemone flower. Soft white petals with a dark blue center sway in the breeze as he stands watching it move. It's Collei who approaches him and explains white anemone flowers, also known as windflowers, symbolize sincerity due to their delicate appearance. According to mythology, the anemone flower was created when Aphrodite's mortal lover, Adonis, was killed and from the spot where her tears fell to the ground, an anemone emerged. She says that he might enjoy that last bit of information to use as inspiration for his many haiku poems because he's looking at the flower as if he's fallen in love. Although she warns him that when fresh, all parts are poisonous.

When Inazuma finally calmed down and Thoma informed him that he was no longer a wanted man, it was the second time Kazuha could take a deep breath and relax. He was free from running and could focus on the future. He won't lie and say that his thoughts didn't stray back to you every night. He's been gone for months and he wonders if you still remember what he looks like. But now he has to ask himself the hard question if he's ready to see you. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to make that choice.

He sees you at Port Ormos by chance, speaking to a silver-haired man before you cut yourself off mid-sentence as your eyes lock onto his. Even with everything Kazuha has been through, he feels scared. He knew he would eventually return to you but now that you're here, is he not ready? Or is he scared? He knew that asking for you to wait was selfish, that one day he may return with your hand in someone else's. Maybe that's why you're all the way in Sumeru rather than the high mountains of Liyue. All these emotions reflect back to you and he can see it, your fists are trembling even as you gaze back at him with conviction and determination. The sun shines right behind you, creating a gold halo over your tousled hair. But it makes the shadows of your strained expression darker, your eyes gloss over your jaw tense, and everything about your posture screams please don't disappoint me Kazuha. Then it's gone. Your attention back to the silver hair man, pretending as if nothing happened. You'll wait until he's ready but you won't acknowledge him when he's not. And Kazuha. Kazuha runs away.

"There you are."

Kazuha looks up to see Tighnari sitting at the table facing the entrance that Kazuha has stumbled through. It's late into the night and because his heart has more room to bear, he feels guilty that Tighnari stayed up to make sure he returned. Before he can apologize Tighnari raises a hand to stop him, sighing before he gestures Kazuha to sit down. Fiddling with his pouch he takes something and slides it across to Kazuha. An Inazuma charm. The same one you gave him when he left.

"You dropped it when you were running through Port Ormos like you had stolen something. I had to convince Cyno that you weren't a thief but you're going to have to apologize to Collei for scaring her like that," he huffs as he settles back into his seat, watching at how Kazuha raises a wary hand to pick up the charm like it'll break under the slightest pressure. It makes Tighnari soften around the edges, the worried lines of his face smoothing out as he rests a hand on the samurai's shoulder. "Are you okay Kazuha?"

It only serves to bring a pained smile to the man's face, shaking his head. No. No, he's not alright. He hasn't felt "alright" in months. He's lived his life thinking that as long as his blade was by his side, he could continue moving. But now it feels like he's slowly dying. Poisoned from the core. He thought he would be able to approach this like he had always been. That he thought he understood what he was doing and trusted the wind to guide him. But now he's confronted with his accountability and he doesn't know what to do but run. Back into the silence of the forest until he can't run any further. Collapsing onto the cold ground as he heaves for another breath. Every moment up until now replays in his head, becoming more vivid no matter how long it's been until he can smell your fragrance. It was a similar feeling to when he lost his friend, this lingering pain. It's why he decided he needed to leave first. He always assumed he remembered because of guilt. Guilt that he asked you to wait, guilt that he wasn't the one that was ready, and guilt that even after all this time he hasn't entered the border of Liyue. Yet no matter how long he goes, this feeling of guilt only remains for you until he doesn't know if that's the correct emotion. If what remains in his heart truly isn't guilt, what is this emotion that keeps him looking back at his memories of you? He doesn't know. It's his first time feeling this way.

"You're in love Kazuha. That's it."

---

There's a sudden ruckus on the ship deck that has Beidou draw her head up, her letter to Ningguang momentarily paused as she listens carefully to what her crew is so noisy about. Their voices are muffled through the thick wooden walls of her office but it doesn't sound like they're in any danger. Either way as the Captain she should check out what everyone is so excited about. She shoulders her fur-lined shawl back on and slams the doors open.

"What's got you all so- Kazuha?!" Beidou nearly chokes midsentence to see her sentence when he spots that familiar white and red hair. Even though it's only been a few months, he looks so much older than she remembers. When he said he wanted to do some soul searching, she didn't think it would make him look so...mature. It's not that his outward appearance is any different, he's still got that adorable baby face, but the air around him is tranquil rather than still.

"Captain, it's good to see you again," Kazuha smiles and gives a small wave. His hand is free of bandages letting her see the electro burns that scar his skin. She politely doesn't let her eyes linger on them for long, that's all in the past anyways. So she grins ear to ear and yanks the poor man into a headlock and a giant slap on the back. Her official way her welcome a trusty companion back.

"About time lover boy, let's get you home."

---

Not me throwing canon personalities and good characterization out the window to push my smitten agenda.

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@genshins1mpact @creatorofstars @xoneaboveallx @timmyitsmeeee @raingoesboomboom @duhsies @thegayrubberducky @isa-solasun @afoxesgreed @yuuki4646 @angel-luv-04 @inlovewithwaffles @maddymints09 @moonssandstars

@tigerpriestess @endurablerose @ayakohana

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lucvly · 5 months

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hi, how are you doing ? i was wondering if can you do christmas head canons with matt ?

— christmas headcannons with matt. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: just fluff & a slightly suggestive one if you squint.

a/n: hii omg ?? is this Thing on ?? 🎤

— leaves the christmas lights up till january type of person. either a) he’s too lazy to take the decorations down, or b) he just wants you to help him take them down so he avoids it until you bring up the idea of helping him LMAO.

— this man knows how to wrap presents mhm. he’d a hundred percent do that stupid ass trend that’s like “wrapping gifts as something not even remotely close”.

— LOOOVES baking cookies with you aww. he doesn’t even like the baking process itself he just likes the decorating part.

— his presents are definitely well thought out. you offhandedly said you wanted a certain something five months ago? best believe he bought it for you for christmas.

— every single present he gives you includes a handwritten love letter. you love it because it’s always at least three pages long and it’s so cute :(.

— he’s such an attentive boyfriend i’m melting ugh. always has a spare jacket for you in the backseat of his car. he’ll say nick or chris left it there for some reason which is most definitely not true, he keeps it there especially for you just in case you get too cold.

— he doesn’t really like visiting malls on christmas because of the crowds but if you wanna go for some reason he’s absolutely following you around.

— he tries to be secretive with gifts but ends up being a major fail LMFAOO you’ve found out what your presents are on multiple occasions. one time he just left them in the car accidentally and you saw them before he could even do anything about it.

— which leads me to my next point, you and chris have an unspoken secret agreement to tell each other what matters got you for christmas. you tell him his present and he’ll tell you yours.

— this went on for a while before matt actually found out and all hell broke loose Oops.

— a perfectionist when it comes down to gingerbread houses. he eventually gives up though when some of the pieces don’t stick together.

— matching ugly sweaters are a must, duh. sometimes it’ll deadass just be mid june and you’ll catch him wearing one of the matching sweaters. it’s so funny but unironically he loves them, he can’t even figure iut why, he just does.

— he gets chapped lips during winter SORRY !! so you’re absolutely gonna catch him with cherry flavored chapstick and he doesn’t gaf. ( taste tests in the car <3333 )

— he’ll never admit it but he Loves christmas scented candles. he acts like the smell is way too strong or something but light one of those snickerdoodle scented candles and he’s Melting.

— lots of christmas themed pick up lines. deadass texts you in the middle of the night just to be like “can i take your picture? i gotta show santa what i want for christmas.”

— his favorite part of winter is the fact that he gets to spend most of his time cuddled up with you under a fuzzy blanket watching movies.

— expect tons of late night drives with him. he loves seeing how people decorate their houses, and for some reason he loves late night talks with you with soft christmas music playing in the background.

— he would be so serious about kids and santa. i feel like chris would be the type of guy to tell kids santa isn’t real but matt would get so pissed, literally raging.

— gets the worst case of sweet tooth during christmas. cookies, cakes, literally anything sweet idc.

— due to that, he’d a hundred percent get sick during the holidays LMFAOO (constant stomachaches because of the amount of sweets he’s had.)

— he’s definitely very considerate as to who you wanna spend your christmas with. he’s thrilled when you wanna spend christmas with him, his brothers and the rest of his family but he also understands that you wanna spend holidays with your family.

— to get to a fair arrangement, you both agree on: one year celebrating with your family, and another year you celebrate with his.

— though when you celebrate with your family, matt, chris and nick end up crashing at, like, the middle of the night HELLO??

— he loves showing you off and posting with you during the holidays. posting your matching outfits, posting vlogs / videos and hauls of what you got for christmas. it’s soo cute.

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wrens-wramblings · 2 years

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A massive problem with how fandom - particularly queer rep - is going right now on this website is how quick people are to jump ship onto the next thing and then immediately start trashing the everliving shit out of the old thing.

Steven Universe (not a perfect show by any means) while it was coming out was celebrated constantly. The Garnet reveal? Pearl being in love with Rose? The Rupphire wedding? SU was revolutionary and has been quoted by cartoon creators now for being a big reason people are allowed to bring their stories to life. Say what you want about the show, but it broke boundaries and set precedents for a lot of the shows that you now love. And the show's plot lines regarding the diamonds has been taken in completely bad faith - do yall really think the half Jewish queer person meant for you to get "Let's all forgive Nazis" from the Diamonds redemption arcs??

After Steven Universe ended a large majority of people jumped to She Ra and the Princesses of Power and when they mentioned SU at all it was to put it down as a show with terrible representation and all round bad writing.

During SPOP's run it was massively popular, with a lot of buzz around the main ship, Catradora. I know this is gonna be taken in bad faith so a quick note - while I do like Catradora, I do feel that there should have been another season for Catra to properly acknowledge the harm she did to Adora and actually grow as a person before entering into a relationship. Catra was forgiven too easily, but that was in part due to Netflix not wanting to give the show another season to properly flesh out the redemption arc. The final season was rushed as all hell, and so many story points would have been better with another season to flesh them out further.

But I digress - during the show's run it was constantly talked about for it's representation, having multiple queer characters, including a nonbinary character.

The show ends and again, the fanbase jumps. This time, it's to the Owl House. People start talking about how SPOP was actually horrible representation and, my personal favourite, they "added gay people as a cash grab."

Yeah okay guys, I'm sure a queer nonbinary creator is writing about queer people because they actually dislike the gays and want to wring money out of us. That is definitely the situation here.

And now I'm worried that in a year or two we'll have the next big queer cartoon and the posts will start popping up -

"Amity Blight is the mean lesbian stereotype."

"Raine and Eda's relationship is problematic because-"

"Amity and Luz started out as rivals, which is toxic because-"

"The romance didn't start until later in the show, it was added at the end for a cash grab."

Again, I'm certain there's gonna be bad faith takes on this -- I'm not saying these shows are perfect. They all have flaws somewhere. No media is completely without it's faults and its good to recognise those faults, that what critical reading is. But calling someone an abuser for enjoying SPOP, or a Nazi sympathiser for liking SU (actual accusations I have seen on tumblr.com) is frankly a little ridiculous.

As for the bad rep argument - every show on this list has one thing in common: a queer creator. No one experiences queerness the exact same way - the only thing that harassing queer creators for not showing your experience does is make other queer creators... not want to write queer characters. No one wants to receive death threats because, for example, they based a character with their sexuality off of how that actually affected them and someone on the Internet decided they were feeding into a harmful stereotype.

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beca-mitchell · 11 months

Text

the system's breaking down (i think there’s been a glitch) (1/1)

Summary: PP2, but an AU where Beca already knows Chloe has experimented plenty and Chloe is shocked by this revelation. Basically a rewrite of the retreat scene. from @bobby-lynnes-bra: i always thought it would be funny if beca responded to the experimentation comment with "chloe what are you talking about, you've slept with multiple women in college already"

Word Count: 2578

***

It’s not Chloe’s brightest idea but it’s…convenient that she and Beca are quite literally being forced to speak to each other in this cramped, confined space. And besides, Chloe is surrounded by the people she loves most (and the woman she’s most in love with) in the world. What could go wrong?

After Beca’s hasty refusal of Chloe’s generous backrub, Chloe changes tactics. She can hear Aubrey’s voice in her head already, calling her desperate, but she kind of is. She feels, simultaneously, that Beca is drifting away in more ways than one and with the end of the semester looming in a mildly horrific proximity, Chloe has run out of options.

She will make sure Beca knows, at least at a very base level, that Chloe wants to kiss her so very badly. She hasn’t thought of much else past this.

“You know Beca, we’re very close, but I think that this retreat is really gonna let us discover everything about each other.”

“Is that right?”

“You know…one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t do enough experimenting in college.”

Beca’s nose crinkles. “You’re so weird. What are you talking about? What about all those girls you slept with in my sophomore year? And that one hookup that kept coming back last year.”

The air whooshes out of Chloe’s lungs at that revelation. “Wait, you know about all that?”

She forgets momentarily that they aren’t alone because she is absolutely tunnel-visioning on Beca. Suddenly, her chest feels tight, but not in a good way—not in the way it had felt when she had first heard that Beca and Jesse broke up a few weeks ago before he left early for Los Angeles without her.

Suddenly, Chloe feels very small. She hadn’t known Beca was aware of that. She assumed that Beca had just thought she was only into men this whole time, which was part of the reason Beca never picked up on any kind of signal Chloe sent her during that first year.

She barely hears Beca’s non-commital mumble about Chloe’s lack of subtlety.

If Beca had known all this time that Chloe liked girls, it was never an issue of thinking Chloe was too celibate or too straight to be interested in Beca.

It had been years.

“Chloe?”

Beca is in the middle of turning around to face away from her, hair ruffled from shifting around. Chloe can’t even bask in how cute Beca looks because she is distraught. She doesn’t even process at that second that Beca, despite being petulant, is still concerned about her lack of quippy comeback and lack of quippy response.

On autopilot, Chloe turns to stare up at the tent’s fabric. She imagines what the stars are doing beyond the thin barrier. Surely, they must be laughing at her misfortune.

***

When Chloe stumbles out of the tent the next morning, following closely behind Beca, she decides to put it behind her. Mostly. It proves difficult because to distract herself from Aubrey’s drill sergeant voice, she drifts and finds herself just looking at Beca, mostly with mild disbelief.

Had that been what Beca had been hiding the whole year? That she knew Chloe had a big gay crush on her? Had she told Jesse? Had they both laughed about it? Did that even matter considering Jesse was a couple thousand miles away?

Her mind whirls at a speed she previously had never been able to access. She creates a million and one scenarios, each worse than before. By the time she lands on a scenario where Beca is quite literally homophobic, she decides that she needs to calm down and tries to focus on her breathing so she can at least belt when Aubrey points to her.

Chloe notes that at least Beca is participating, though she seems less enthused than everybody else. It’s a familiar-enough sight at this point that Chloe just tries to let it go. It is frustrating that she has no idea whatsoever what Beca is thinking, or even why Beca’s mind appears to be elsewhere.

It had been easy to ignore when they were back at Barden and occupied with classes, performance prep, and just generally trying to slam the lid closed on their overfilling anxiety pots. It’s less easy now, at a remote location and surrounded by only each other. Beca’s distance is more apparent than ever and it all just hurts so much that it makes Chloe want to claw out her eyeballs with her sweaty hands.

Finally, exhausted, Chloe thinks that she gets a reprieve, but then she hears Beca’s voice cut across the group, clear as day.

“Sorry, what are we doing?”

Chloe forces herself to be patient. “We’re rediscovering our sound.” She finally makes eye contact with Beca after hours and she tries not to be hurt by the sheer annoyance she sees written across Beca’s face; she tries not to let it bother her that she has no idea why Beca is even reacting like this to something they both love.

“Really?” The derision in Beca’s voice makes Chloe want to recoil so very badly. “Because it all sounds like songs that would never go in our set.”

Chloe’s ears are ringing. She thinks Aubrey says something, so she tries to refocus, but she catches the tail end of Beca exclaiming that she has more important things to do.

“What could be more important than this?” What could be more important than me? Is what Chloe desperately wants to scream, but she can’t – she knows she can’t. Not here, in front of everybody.

She swallows her pride when Beca brushes her off. She isn’t letting this go, not this time. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Getting out of here. We all have to leave eventually, Chloe. Some of us aren’t scared of that.”

“And what’s wrong with being scared?” Chloe asks, ignoring how high her voice goes. That stops Beca in her tracks. “What’s wrong with being afraid of losing the people I care about?”

“So you’re acknowledging that there’s something that happens after graduation? After worlds?” There’s a mocking edge to Beca’s voice, but the franticness in her eyes as Chloe nears closer to her is more evident than ever before.

“Of course I am! It’s all I think about. It’s all I can think about, thinking about not being able to see you—all of you,” she adds hastily. “Not being able to see all of you every day.”

Aubrey touches Chloe’s elbow. “Chloe, maybe—”

Chloe shrugs her off. “And what about you?” she asks, finally feeling some of the blazing heat in her chest begin to power up her ability to speak. “What about how you’ve been lying to us this whole time. Keeping things from us?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Everybody’s noticed you’ve been a little checked out lately.” Chloe gestures around. “Don’t you care about any of this?”

“Of course I care! I’m just trying to think about my future. Which is more than what everybody else seems to be doing.”

“And what about me?” Chloe asks, forgetting momentarily that they’re surrounded by their friends.

“What about you?” Beca doesn’t ask the question with a hint of derision or viciousness, but it still hurts nonetheless seeing the plain confusion on Beca’s face.

“Don’t you care about me?” Chloe thumps her hand on her chest. “I have been there for you for years and you can’t even—you can’t even pick up on a few. Simple. Hints!”

“What hints?” Beca looks around at their friends for help and as Chloe glances around, everybody is pointedly looking away. Emily’s face is turning red. Jessica and Ashley are glancing at each other knowingly. And Aubrey—Aubrey has the worst expression of all of them: pity. Beca apparently still isn’t able to find an answer or assistance from any of that, so she turns back to Chloe, arms crossed.

“Are you being dense on purpose?”

“I’m not, I swear.”

“So you’re just going to act like you haven’t seen anything the past few years. Nothing at all.”

“Chloe, what the fuck are you talking about.”

“I think Chloe is just concerned you’re maybe focused on relationships right now when you should be focused on the Bellas,” Aubrey says, from out of nowhere.

It isn’t what Chloe is thinking at all, but she lets the brief silence serve as a reset. She gathers herself as Beca turns on Aubrey.

“I broke up with Jesse a while ago,” she says plainly.

“Well–”

“Aubrey, don’t.”

“—In fact, I’m not thinking of any relationships right now. I’m focused on me and moving to Los Angeles after we graduate.”

Chloe deflates. “Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

Beca faces her again. They’re standing closer than before, Chloe having closed the distance between them, but the emotional distance between them couldn’t be larger. “Chloe. Wait.”

Chloe waits, expectant eyebrow raised.

“I have an internship. That’s where I’ve been disappearing off to. I swear, that’s it. I’m not…like sneaking around or anything,” she adds in a lower tone. “Not with Jesse or anybody else. That was over months ago.”

Chloe, unfortunately, fixates on the first part only, filing her disappointment away for later. “An internship? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were just…” Beca shrugs, gesturing vaguely with her hands. “I didn’t know if you wanted to hear that I had my mind elsewhere.”

“Well, I did,” Chloe replies, stung. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re…” she inhales. “You’re my best friend, Beca. I want to know these things and of course, I’m so happy for you.”

“Oh ouch,” Amy murmurs, nudging Aubrey.

Beca stares at her for a moment longer. “That’s it then?”

Chloe nods slowly. “I—”

“I’m just going to take an hour for myself,” Beca announces. She walks away from Chloe. The sight of Beca’s back stings more than Chloe expects. She reaches out half-heartedly, her throat dry. She can’t even call out to Beca, not until Beca screams, swept up by a bear trap none of them had seen.

***

A few hours later, they sit huddled around a campfire. Chloe has hardly been able to leave Beca’s side, finding ways to touch Beca, whether it’s making sure she isn’t cold (on a warm early summer night) or making sure Beca has had her fill of snacks (Beca has consumed several smores, growing paler with each one Chloe forces into her hands).

They still haven’t really resolved anything, even as they figure out just how to save their sound. Chloe doesn’t feel particularly resolved as far as things between her and Beca stand.

Beca appears aware of it too, if the furtive glances she keeps shooting Chloe are any indication. There’s a fidgety-ness to Beca, the way she shuffles as if she isn’t sure if she wants to sit closer or further from Chloe.

“Let’s leave them to talk,” Aubrey says hastily. She snaps at the rest of the Bellas to get their things before she grabs Fat Amy’s wrist and tugs her, despite her protests of wanting to stay near the fire. Amy is eventually lured away by the promise of access to the minibar and a room for the night.

Once Beca and Chloe are finally alone, Chloe finds that her mind slows to nothing. She cannot remember a single thing that she wants to say to Beca–everything except, “I’m sorry.”

Beca prods at a rock with her toe. “What are you sorry for?” she asks quietly. “I should be apologizing.”

“I was just…mad at you. And mad at myself. Mostly myself.”

“You should be mad at me. I’m incredibly dense,” Beca offers.

Chloe huffs. “I didn’t mean that.”

“You did. It’s okay. I am and I’ve been trying to work on it.”

“I shouldn’t have just…yelled at you. Especially not in front of everybody. I’m sorry. I just…was so embarrassed about what happened in the tent and then thinking about you hiding things from me.” Chloe groans, covering her eyes with the heels of her hand. “Which you’re totally allowed to do. I just felt so…”

“Left out?” Beca suggests, her voice quiet and gentle.

Chloe peeks at her with one eye. “Yeah. Let’s start there.”

“I’m not good with that kind of stuff. You know that.” Beca’s smile is sheepish in the flickering light from the fire. It makes Chloe want to kiss her even more, but she has no idea if that’s appropriate. “And I didn’t mean to leave you out. Trust me. I want to tell you stuff, but it’s just… It’s like how I push everyone away. I just keep doing that whenever I feel scared that I’m going to lose people.”

“You quite literally can’t lose me,” Chloe says, trying to go for levity. “I’m here,” she murmurs, only slightly horrified when her voice cracks. “I’m here even if…”

“I know. I know. I’m so bad at this.”

“I promise, I’m worse.” Chloe sighs. “I haven’t been honest with you either. I thought I was being super obvious about it, but you seriously are really hard to get through to.”

Instead of a quip or sarcastic response, Beca, for her part, takes Chloe’s hand and slowly tangles their fingers together.

“I…” Chloe takes a deep breath, letting her eyes adjust and focus on their intertwined fingers. “I like you. I’ve been trying to tell you for years.”

Beca says nothing for the moment, but both of them are content to let the crackle of the fire and ambient noise from the trees around them fill the space.

“Please say something.”

Beca’s initial response is to laugh. She laughs and squeezes Chloe’s hand.

Chloe stares at her in bewilderment but waits nonetheless. She hates her traitorous heart for doing so, but it all but thuds out of her chest as she takes in how beautiful Beca looks then.

“I’m sorry,” Beca apologizes once her giggles subside. Still not letting go of Chloe’s hand, she shifts her body so their legs touch more fully. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, but this is what I mean when I say I’m so bad at all of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that…God. Chloe. I like you too. I’m just really terrible at showing it and I was so scared you wouldn’t like me back. I broke up with Jesse because he moved, yes, but also…” Her eyes drift away, first to the ground, then back up to somewhere around the center of Chloe’s face. It takes Chloe two seconds to realize that Beca is very obviously staring at her mouth.

“Oh,” Chloe murmurs. “But you…always knew I liked girls and you never…”

“I never thought you liked me,” Beca explains.

“Why not?” Chloe asks, genuinely stunned.

Beca adopts a look of surprise at the question. “Well, I guess. I don’t know. I just—”

Neither Beca nor Chloe will ever know why Beca had been so surprised at the thought of Chloe liking her in a more-than-platonic way because Chloe decides then that what she really wants to know is what Beca’s lips feel like on hers. So she does just that, finally fulfilling years of curiosity. Beca doesn’t hesitate, lifting a hand to curl into Chloe’s hair to hold her in place.

Chloe never has to wonder again.

fin

#text #bechloe #pitch perfect #beca mitchell #chloe beale #fanfiction #wlw #pp2 #pp2 au #my fanfic #mine

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moonlightdreamzz · 1 year

Text

kill bill

part one

you return back to korea one year after you and hyunjin broke up, only to find out he has replaced you. how could he replace you?

→ g: all of it. the pain, the sexy, the happiness. angstsmutfluff! <3

🎧 ➤ kill bill by sza

warning! you’re a heartbroken bitter ex girlfriend here, although for a valid reason. party environment! mentions of (w**d) and alcohol, language, and infidelity!

I'm so mature, I'm so mature

I'm so mature, I got me a therapist to tell me there's other men

I don't want none, I just want you

If I can't have you, no one should

it felt so, so good to scream these lyrics from the pit of your stomach. you imagine anyone that could hear you and felix passionately singing alongside sza had many questions, the first being; who hurt you? but, as always neither of you care in this moment. the two of you have finally finished cleaning up the dorm in preparation for changbin’s surprise birthday party; the only thing left to do now was decorate and get ready.

you have no idea where the rest of the members are, but who are you to ask questions? knowing your friend, he didn’t trust them to get the job done in time. they could be so damn silly sometimes, taking forever to do the simplest tasks. it was adorable watching their sad attempts to hold all their jokes and playful tendencies within. they failed every time.

felix, who is clearly exhausted from your early morning grind can’t help but to back into the wall and slide down to the wooden floors. he takes a deep breath before blowing upwards, causing the hair covering his forehead to lift ever so slightly.

“someone’s tired.” you chuckle, deciding to lay on the couch over the cold wood. you are so tempted to beg felix for a quick nap, but you know he’s gonna ridicule you for it if you do—in a friendly way of course. he has been talking about this party and how perfect it has to be for what felt like forever. you know deep down his real reasoning for being so prompt was because of who’s birthday it is.

“how can I truly be tired though, y/n?” his aussie accent is thick as he confesses his shame to you, “you came all the way here, landed early as hell in the morning with jet lag, and here you are cleaning with me. i need to get up.” just like that, felix has risen again and stretches his arms out before moving to start taking the decorations out the box.

he was always too hard on himself. “lix,” you coo, walking towards him and placing your hand on his shoulder gently, “getting rest is vital. even if for thirty minutes, why don’t you relax for a little bit? at least close your eyes?”

you can tell he’s considering it by the way his eyes look straight ahead into nothingness, but just as quick as the thought comes, it goes. he inhales deeply before continuing to take things from the huge brown box.

“i promise I’ll rest after this is all over. i just…i don’t want anything to mess up on my end.”

so, they really were all the same huh? those words trigger what feels like a thousand memories into your mind— all of someone you know you will have to see tonight. you were certain he has spoken that exact sentence to you on multiple occasions when you expressed how worried you were about his physical and mental health. you still have no idea what you’re going to say when the two of you eventually bump into each-other at this party.

you’re fidgeting now, and felix’s heart feels as if it wants to jump out of him for the day, but not because he was in love with you or anything. no, felix was incredibly guilty. he knows you’re thinking about his bandmate. you were always so…dazed when he was on your mind.

all day there has been this weird silence in the air between you and felix, which was abnormal to say the least. before you moved back home, you were two peas in a pod. your conversations could last for hours if you let it. all of the boys, but especially felix told you that they loved how free they felt around you. they loved how normal they felt in your presence. you didn’t know why it was such a bad thing, but apparently it was a sin here to have some fun.

the minutes keep passing by and felix has yet to utter a word to you. have things really changed this drastically since you left? was he angry at you for leaving? did you not check up on him enough?

“felix i—

“hyunjin has a new girlfriend!” he spits out as if there was a pistol on his scalp. the balloon he was blowing up flies from the machine, squealing as it tries to find a place to land. if there was a metaphor to describe what those words just did to you, it was that. you felt like a lifeless balloon. the tension in the room is so thick you feel like your throat is about to start closing on you.

your clear vision is now red, so much so, that you were certain your tears would be the same color if you weren’t fighting for your life to hold them in your tear ducts. you hate that even after a year, exactly a year by the way, that he still has so much control over your emotions.

“who?” are the only words you can manage.

felix thought that confessing to you would make him feel better, but as he watches you clearly refraining yourself from having a mental breakdown, he feels a thousand times worse. maybe he should have listened to changbin and chris when they told him to just let you see it. no—he was right. if you were going to hate him, he would rather you be able to say he warned you instead of you finding out from seeing hyunjin waltz in here with his new woman.

“some girl. she’s not famous, and I have no idea where he met her. i’m sorry, y/n. i know you’ve been going to therapy and everything and I just—I never wanted to trigger you. it’s still not an excuse I just—

“lix,” you finally breathe after what felt like days, even though it had only been a minute or two. “i’m not angry with you. how could I be?”

“because i’m your friend.”

“you’re his friend too.” is all you can muster. you know a look of defeat was prominent on your features, but you can’t fake it right now. it wasn’t worth it. you’re trying to push it down, but the rage is burning in the pit of your stomach. you looked so sane to the naked eye. upset? sure. pissed? maybe? but you were way more than those two emotions. you were heartbroken and livid all over again; a woman scorned. all you can hear in your mind right now is the last thing hyunjin uttered to you.

i will never be able to replace you. i need you to breathe. i love you. i’m so sorry. i’m sorry I failed you when I promised I never would.

you heard it in your dreams and nightmares what felt like every night. his voice cracked so clearly on the phone that night. he usually tried to be tough for you, pretending as if nothing could get to him, but not this time. he was so hysterical.

you believed him. you didn’t want to, but he was sobbing. or maybe your ego was big as fuck, and the thought of hyunjin unable to move on from you fed into your fantasy of him suffering without you. you hated that you felt this way, but it doesn’t matter now. it was all a lie.

“y/n.” you hear felix trying to snap you back to reality.

there’s a million things you want to say. you want to see her. you want to ask felix if hyunjin is as happy as he was with you. but you figure you’d save those questions for when he had to see you tonight. if he moved on genuinely, fine. but he was going to have to say it to your face.

“I’m cool.” you smile as if you hadn’t heard the news. you begin ripping the plastic off the decorations you assumed went on the wall based on their shape. you can feel felix’s doe eyes burn holes into you, but you learned a long time ago how to ignore that.

“you sure?” he questions in disbelief.

“positive. i just needed a minute to digest it. I’m good.”

the song you and felix had been shouting the lyrics to has replayed, neither you or Felix knowing the lyrics sza was singing beautifully would foreshadow what was to come later tonight.

I did it all for love

I did all of this on no drugs

I did all of this sober

Don't you know I did it all for us?

fit pics; a necessity when going to any function, but especially when you want your ex to feel sick to their stomach.

yes, you are that girl that makes your friends take your pictures over and over again—hating them all. no, you are not ashamed. this was jisung’s fifth round of taking pics of you, and you are trying so hard to hold in your laughter at his frustration. he’s looking at you, and you know he hasn’t blinked or breathed—already knowing that you’re going to tell him you don’t like the twenty new pictures he’s placed in your camera roll.

“if you don’t like these, i don’t know what to tell you. you look mad good. stop acting like that.”

“you’re lucky I’m pleased.” you smirk, pushing him playfully, “this is the least you can do for the many years you’ve spent trolling my ass, or have you forgotten?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” he smirks back. his eyes attempt prove his innocence, but they fail and he can’t help but to push you back to play it off.

the music can be heard from outside of the dorms, and you have no idea how they are pulling this off tonight, but you never ask questions; you simply follow suit. you didn’t intend on missing the surprise, but jisung called you frantically saying that he was going to be late and that he would owe you if you pulled up alongside him. truth be told, you pretended that you were fine with being late because you loved him oh-so much, but in reality you wanted to make an entrance.

you wanted hyunijn to pace back and forth as his new girl got ready—heart practically beating out of his chest at the thought of having to see you. you knew he would arrive in preparation to say surprise! to his bandmate, subtly searching for you everywhere. obviously, you aren’t there, but he won’t know whether you are just in the bathroom, late, or not coming at all.

the time will continue to pass—but still no sign of you. his girl is there, so he won’t express his interest about your whereabouts out loud, but he will text felix wondering where you are. she’s coming, is all felix is going to respond, already receiving the text from you that you were running late to ride with jisung, but not wanting to spill your beans to your ex, regardless of the fact that he was hyunjin’s friend too.

you know his anxiety is going up and down right now. he’s probably not paying ole’ girl any attention because hyunjin knows. he fucking knows that any second now you will walk into that dorm and he’ll have to recall his last words to you. he’ll also have to see how damn fine you look tonight from head to toe. he’ll think of every single late night he tried to replace your body, but couldn’t. you love changbin so much, but he was crazier than you when it came to his lovers. he will understand. you also know he’s probably ten shots in by now, so if he was upset with you, the alcohol had drowned it away.

“come on.” jisung instructs. you’re surprised he’s not snapping in your face like everyone else does when you daze out. it had rained earlier, so the weather is perfect—not cold, but not hot. you and hyunjin love this kind of weather. if the two of you were still together, you’d probably be outside whispering sweet nothings to each-other while smoking a blunt and embracing the relaxing breeze that blew through the city.

you follow your friend, taking his hand that was extended out to you. he knows you too well. your anxiety was beginning to build up from the pit of your stomach. it always makes you feel sick and dizzy and you want to turn around and run off, but you can’t. your feet have began to hurt too—your boots although fashionable, never being the move when you were going to be standing for a long time.

“these are some of the trainees that’ll be in the next group.” jisung spills as you approach the entrance. you can’t tell whether they want to be here or not, but you can’t lie, this is adorable.

they greet the both of you respectfully—you, only because you were with their hyung, and the two of you step in promptly. immediately the smell of marijuana clouds your senses, and you can’t help but let out a cough. the music was so loud that you know you will likely have a headache in the morning, but it was worth it. there are people everywhere and they’re all doing the same thing; smoking, taking shots, and trying to find their person for the night.

“look who it is, finally.” a drunk changbin stumbles your way, immediately embracing you and picking you up. he reeks of everything in this room, including women, but you expect nothing less from the man of the hour. he looks nice—a typical all black fit from him. he continues to slur things to you that you can’t understand, but you know it’s something along the lines of “i’m so happy to see you.” and “don’t think you’re running from these shots.”

jisung doesn’t understand what he’s saying either, and the two of you make eye contact before he pats changbin’s back to put you back down in the ground.

“happy birthday!” the two of you yell in unison. ah, you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. he was always so sweet to you, and in this moment as you and jisung congratulate him on another year of life, you heart is warm seeing the genuine smile on his face.

“thank you, love.” he slurs once more. “you know, you were always my favorite. my favorite girlfriend that is. smart, gorgeous, and actually fun.” the music seems as if it’s gotten even louder, but you hear him loud and clear.

now you’re the one smiling. “thank you. i got you a lot of gifts, but the rest of them I need you to open sober. here’s one you can have now.” you see jisung’s panic as you hand his bandmate a little bottle of hennessy. you know the second either you two walk away or changbin does, that he’s going to cuss you out for not telling him you brought a gift. “from me and jisung.” you add with a potent smirk on your face. you see him exhale beside you, and here you are again holding in your damn laugh.

“now y/n…you know you have to take a shot with me, right? thank…thank you.” all of a sudden there’s a hand on changbin’s shoulder, and she’s pulling him back towards where the bedrooms are. you make your false promises knowing he won’t even remember you’re here soon.

“you owe me two, han jisung.” you twirl to face him now.

“yeah, whatever. look, as always I’ll look out for you, but I can’t lie it’s time for me to put some shots in my body and find me something to lick on…for later.”

“ew! you’re like…fifteen.”

“i’m literally twenty-two?” he blinks repeatedly.

“whatever. i’m going to the bathroom.”

and you’re off. you see a couple of familiar faces on what should be a short journey to the restroom, but isn’t due to how crowded the this place is. your heart is racing, fearing that you’ll say excuse me to someone, and they’ll turn around just for it to be hyunjin. you planned this out so well in your head, just to be shaking in your boots now…literally. your feet hurt even more then they did ten minutes ago.

you finally make it to the restroom after what feels like forever. you’re afraid to even go in there, terrified about who you may see partaking in adults activities and not wanting to argue with someone who was hogging the room just because they hate parties. you hate those kind of people.

you knock—nothing. you knock again—nothing. you can barely stand now because you genuinely have to pee, and maybe there is someone in there, and they are responding— you just can’t hear them, but fuck it. you open the door quickly, closing it just as fast so a creep doesn’t try to slide in here with you. you’re about to run to the toilet when you notice someone very familiar sitting on the floor with his face buried in his hands. no fucking way. no way.

he looks up at you, his eyes irritated at first from being intruded on. he probably did say someone was in here. but the second he sees you, his eyes widen. it’s as if he’s seen a ghost.

“y/n…y/n?”

you haven’t heard him say your name in a year. you haven’t heard his voice. you don’t know how you’re still standing considering the fact that you’re having a stare down with the love of your life. you know your eyes are softening as you continue to make eye contact with him. he’s still so…beautiful. how was it possible that he has become even more attractive, even with his eyes slightly red. had he been crying?

snap out of it, y/n!

just as quick as all of the memories begin to run through your head, you turn the movie off, pulling down your shorts and panties. “move, hyunjin.” is all you say, quickly sitting down on the toilet and emptying your bladder. he scoots ever so slightly, eyes still burning holes into you even as you pee loudly and your eyes look straight forward now.

this isn’t happening right now, is it?

authors note: part two coming soon…🤝🏽 I wanted to make this one big story but I said … that’s going to take too long to finish hehe. i hope you guys liked this.

#hyunjin imagines #kpop black reader #kpop x black reader #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin angst #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #stray kids #hyunjin #stray kids x black reader #kpop x poc #kpop x poc reader #skz hyunjin #skz imagines #skz smut #skz angst #skz scenarios #stray kids imagines

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bedsyandco · 5 months

Text

Better off Together • Emerson x Will

23 December ‘23

Emerson was sitting in one of her favourite cafés in San Jose, enjoying the company of Thomas and William a few days before Christmas. She’d been soaking up these few days back home, enjoying the break from Boston and the situation she found herself in there. It’s been a few weeks and Em can finally think about Will without feeling like she’s going to throw up.

“How’s lover boy doing?” Thomas asks teasingly.

“He’s uh- I wouldn’t know actually. We ended it.”

“You ended it?” William asks

“He ended it,” Emerson say, seemingly fascinated with the menu laying in front of her

“He ended it?” Thomas asks disbelievingly

“Yes Thom, that’s what I said. He broke up with me.”

“Why?” Thomas asks

“A lot of reasons. The main one being that I didn’t want to tell my dad about us yet and that meant keeping our relationship a secret. And the fact that he thinks I don’t love him.”

“Do you? Love him?” William asks and Em nods still not making eye contact with them.

“Did you tell him?” Thomas asks

“Even if I did, actions speak louder than words and he was right mine doesn’t say that I love him,” Emerson says

“Why don’t you wanna tell your dad?” William asks

“I just don’t know how he’s gonna react, with how everything ended with Jason. And Will is apart of our organization, it would be frowned upon for me to be romantically involved with him,” Emerson explains

“I’m pretty sure your dad already knows.” Thomas says

“There’s no way,” Em argues

“He went to Boston multiple times over the last few months. Did he come see you once? Because if he didn’t, who else is in Boston except Will?” Thomas asks

“The sharks played Boston at some point,” she says

“Not more than once. I’m like 99.8% sure your dad has been visiting Will and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s known all this time.” Thomas says

“He would’ve said something. They both would have said something.” she argues

“Or maybe both of them were waiting for you to tell them,” William says and Em bites her lip while she contemplates this information.

“I have to go,” she says abruptly making her way out of the cafe and into her car, driving home.

—

“Dad?” Emerson asks, knocking on her dad's home office door.

“Come in sweetheart,” her dad calls and she pushes open the door, entering the room and sitting on one of the chairs, wiping her hands on her pants nervously.

“What’s wrong Emmy,” her dad asks worriedly

“Can we talk about something?” Em asks and her dad closes his laptop, giving her his full attention. A rare occurrence.

“It’s um-“ em starts, unsure of how to word this properly.

“Is this about a certain boy? He looks a little bit like a Disney prince.” her dad asks amused

“You do know,” she accuses and her dad only smiles

“Of course I know Emmy. You’re my daughter and he’s one of my prospects, you really thought you could hide that from me?” her dad asks gently, a little bit of hurt shining through his expression at the thought that she’d want to.

“I wasn’t sure how you were going to react, knowing he’s part of our team and it would complicate things. Also the way things ended with Jason-“ she says and her dad cuts her off

“Let’s not even go there. Don’t even say his name. Will’s nothing like him.” her dad says and she eyes him sceptically

“You know him well?” Em questions her father

“I’ve had dinner with him a few times. Threatened to keep him in the minors for years if he kept seeing you,” her dad says and Em’s jaw drops

“You did not,”

“I did. Kid took it like a champ though. Respectfully told me that I need him just as much as he needs me, which is true. Also told me that he loves my daughter and he’s going to continue seeing her despite what I had to say. Our dinners after that were quite pleasant, mostly discussing his hockey.”

“So…if I were to tell you that I was in love with said Disney prince looking hockey player… you would approve?” Em asks

“Let’s just say if you have to date a hockey player, I’m glad it’s him,” her dad says and she smiles faintly, standing up at the same time her dad does and going to give him a hug.

“Dad?” She mumbles against his chest

“Yeah?”

“Can you buy me a plane ticket to Sweden?” she asks sweetly smiling up at him

“It will be waiting for you under the tree,” her dad answers, kissing her on the head.

—

25 December ‘23

Em: “Merry Christmas Pretty boy,”

Is the text Will wakes up to on Christmas morning and he really does feel like a little kid on Christmas because of it. It wasn’t expected. Him and Em, while on civil terms haven’t communicated much, if at all, since their break up, but she seemed in a good mood and he missed her so he wasn’t about to ruin it for both of them. She hasn’t called him pretty boy in so long.

Will: “Merry Christmas Princess,”

Em: “Good luck tomorrow.”

Is the response he receives and he’s a little disappointed because that seems a lot like goodbye already.

Will: “you’d love Sweden. We miss you.”

Is what he decides to text back, knowing she could see everyone’s posts, and the whole group was here but her.

—

31 December ‘23

Em feels a little nervous as she sits next to Rory, gripping her hand tight. She doesn’t know if this was the best decision, showing up to the game wearing Will’s jersey. Her flight got there last night and she went to bed as soon as she got to the hotel, sleeping right up until she had to start getting ready for the game.

She texted Rory before deciding to come to Sweden, coordinating hotels and arena seats. They were sitting right in front of the glass, behind Jacob’s net. The first guy that notices her is Jacob, sending her a little smile, and he really doesn’t look that surprised to see her at all. Rory must have told him she was coming.

Then comes Drew and Gabe, both spotting her at the same time. Drew only nods politely but Gabe stops and points to her saying “nice jersey” before skating away.

Ryan and her spot each other at the same time but she glances away first not wanting to prolong that communication, dismissing him effectively as he we skates past them without stopping towards two girls sitting only a few seats away from them. She recognizes them from Rory’s instagram knowing one of them is dating Ryan. She would be more intrigued to study the girl that her best friend is supposedly so infatuated with but Will comes into her vision in that exact moment capturing all her attention.

He’s so shocked to see her all his movements stop and for a second he’s just standing there looking at her until Gabe shoots a puck into his skate, snapping him out of it.

Em wipes her hands on her pants before bending down to pick up her sign, holding it up to the glass so that Will can see.

“Score a goal…Score a date”

Will shoots her a wide grin, no doubt also thinking about the fact that this is how their first date also came to be.

“Just one?” Will asks and she nods.

“The reservation is already made, for when we’re back.” She says, so Will knows that even if he doesn’t score tonight, she still wants to go on that date. Will sends her a smile, putting his hand on the glass for a moment before skating away, knowing this wasn’t easy for her. Though he wasn’t sure that wearing his jersey in Sweden, where barely anyone knew them had the same significance as wearing it at home would, it was a step, and he could acknowledge that.

—

The night ends in a win for the guys and she returns to the hotel, not sure if it was the best idea to wait for Will to come out of the locker room like the other girls.

An hour or so later Em was just about to get in her bed when she heard a knock on her hotel door. The sight she saw when she opened the door was one she was sure she wouldn’t soon forget. Will was standing there, in his game suit, the top two buttons undone, his hair a little messy and still damp from his shower.

“Hi,” she says a little dumbfounded and Will smirks at her.

“You gonna let me in?” he asks amused and Em opens the door wider, letting Will slip inside.

“You’re in Sweden,” he simply states taking off his blazer and hanging it across the vanity chair.

“I’m in Sweden,” she confirms even though they can both obviously see she’s here.

“You flew to Sweden, from California?” Will asks

“I did,” she answers

“You’re in Swe-“

“Yes Will. I’m in Sweden, I flew here from Cali. Ask me why I’m here,” she says impatiently

“I don’t think I wanna know the answer to that,” Will says softly and Em’s heart falls to her stomach.

“Will-“

“I shouldn’t have said yes to the date. At least not until we’ve talked. I was just too excited to see you and I wasn’t really thinking,” Will says quickly, taking a seat on her bed while she stands in the middle of the room.

“Okay.” Em replies, not sure what else to say, trying to hide her hurt and panic although she’s sure Will can see right through her.

“Why’d you come to Sweden?” Will asks and Em connects her hands behind her back, hoping to hide her nerves surrounding this conversation.

“For you. I talked to my dad. He knew about us. And you knew he knew,” she says softly

“Yeah we’ve met a few times, told him the very first time he came to Boston. Well I didn’t really have to tell him, he already knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me. Things would’ve been so different if I had know-“

“No they wouldn’t have. Because you weren’t the one making that decision to be with me publically. The decision was already made for you. If your dad hadn’t already known, and I didn’t break up with you, you wouldn’t have told him and we’d still be sneaking around.” Will says with a non-negotiable tone. Not that em could really argue with that. He was right.

“You’re right. If you didn’t break up with me I wouldn’t have told him, not any time soon. We would still be keeping us a secret, and that wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”

“You really hurt my feelings,” Will says softly and Em stops herself from walking closer and touching him. This was a hard conversation they needed to have. And they both had to have a clear mind for it.

“I know. And I’m sorry Will. Please believe me when I say it was never my intention to hurt you, and me keeping this relationship a secret also had nothing to do with you. It was all me and my issues and insecurities and past. You’re…you’re everything I want. You’re perfect for me and it kills me that I messed it up before I even really had the chance to experience it.” Em says and crouches down in front of Will, taking his hands into hers.

“If I was a better person I would tell you that I don’t deserve you, that there’s some other girl that will treat you better, and there probably is, but I’m selfish and I want you all to myself. I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. But I promise I’ll do better this time. I’m gonna make mistakes Will, but I promise I’m gonna love you enough so it’ll be worth it.” she finishes and there’s a moment where she feels a flash of embarrassment. That she just laid her heart out like that. That she’s on her knees begging her ex to take her back. But she clings to that little part inside her heart telling her it’s Will and the moment of embarrassment and vulnerability is worth it.

“I wanna believe you. I do. I just-“

“I know. I get it. I heard you. Actions speak louder than words and I’m trying. I’m not asking for all of your love and your trust all at once. All I’m asking is a chance to earn it back.”

“You did fly to Sweden for me,” Will concedes with a little smile

“I did”

“You also wore my jersey,” he says, running his hand over the back of her neck.

“I did. I should’ve been wearing it all along. It looks a lot better than the other ones, don’t you think?”

“I do,” he answers, resting his forehead on top of hers and all he wants to do is kiss her, but he can’t, not yet. So he pulls away. He stands and pulls her up with him, gently pulling her in and squeezing her tight. He lets himself hold her for just a moment, enjoying the feeling again.

“I have to go before they notice I’m gone,” Will whispers, kissing her head and grabbing his blazer.

“Hey Em?” He says just as he’s about to walk out the door.

“Yeah,”

“I scored tonight, know what that means?” He asks unable to stop the smile booming on his face.

“What?”

“You owe me a date Princess,”

#❥ — ꒰ emerson + will ꒱

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sheeple · 4 months

Text

Miracles don't exist | 39: Till Death do us part

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): An abortion mention / it's maybe a bit fast-paced at some parts [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

You sit next to Theo on a bench, your head leaning against his shoulder as the two of you share a hot chocolate. Your eyes are trained on Sirius, who's sitting with Tonks and Lupin, the both of them huddled together.

A heavy feeling sits in your chest. Because they've escaped death by an inch of their life. Like you and Theodore. You could easily have ended up dead, laying on stretchers covered by a white cloth. Next to each other but still never together again.

Harry has stormed off somewhere after seeing Lupin and it broke you to see Sirius that hurt.

You watch how the Weasley family mourn over the death of their son. You watch how Madam Pomfrey flutters around and heals wounds and breaks. You also watch Hermione and Ron seek comfort in each other's arms and walk out of the Great Hall.

"Do you want a refill?" Theo puts a strand of hair behind your ear.

With a shake of your head, you push the blanket off your shoulders that covers both of you. "No. I have to speak with Hermione and Ron. Give me a minute."

But as you stand up, Theo follows after you. "I'm not letting you leave my sight. From this moment out, we're going together. Okay?"

You nod and grab his hand, pulling him with you. Outside of the Great Hall, you see them and Harry discuss something that's just outside of earshot.

Creeping up the stairs, you hide behind walls and pillars.

"Are you mad? No!", you hear Ron say and you pull Theo behind a wall, finger to your lips. "You can't give yourself up to him."

Hermione and Ron follow after Harry as he slowly walks down the stairs. "What is it, Harry? What is it that you know?", she asks, a sad look on her face.

"There is a reason I can hear them, the Horcruxes. Why the both of us can hear them. I think I've known for a while. And I think you have too."

Hermione lets out a whimper as tears fill her eyes. "I'll go with you."

"No. Kill the snake. Then it's just him. And her. Promise me you make it quick. Don't make her suffer."

You stumble back, not believing your ears. Theo manages to catch you in time before you give away your presence. "What does he mean? What's going on?"

In some deep, dark part of your brain, you've always known you were a Horcrux. That was the special mission he had for you. That's why he never sent you out. Because you have a part of his soul.

And now you have to die.

You look at Theo with tears in your eyes. How are you going to tell him? Would he do it for you? You would much rather have your husband do it than Hermione or Ron or a random Death Eater.

You take his hand and pull him away from the main staircase. You make your way towards a classroom that has a still intact door. Leaning against the door, you let out a deep sigh.

"My love, you have to tell me what's wrong. What were they talking about?" Theo takes your face in his hands and wipes away the tears from your cheeks.

You swallow thickly. "Have you ever heard about Horcurxes?", you begin. After he shakes his head, you continue. "Horcruxes are objects that house a part of a wizard's soul. With a Horcrux, a wizard becomes immortal."

You wait a moment for it to click for Theodore. "So… Voldemort has a Horcrux?"

"Multiple", you nod, "which most are already destroyed. Three are left. Nigini is one. Harry Potter is also one-" Your voice breaks at the end.

He shakes his head, picking up what you're implying. "What is the last one? (Y/n) tell me, what is the last one?" He grabs your shoulders and slightly shakes you.

Your silence makes him drop his head, resting on your shoulder. He shakes while holding you close. Closing your eyes, you clutch the back of his shirt, you let your tears soak the fabric.

Suddenly, Theo pushes himself away and starts moving around with a determined look on his face. "I have an idea. It's crazy, but it's something."

Your shoulders slump. "Teddy… Nothing can be done about it. How much I wish there was a way…" You trail off, not wanting to think too much about it.

"What if, and let me finish before you protest, we trick Death. There is this potion I saw people frequently use to fake their death when Death Eaters came roaming around town. Draught of Living Death. It produces a sleep so powerful it looks like the drinker has died.

"What if we use the potion and get you into a deathlike slumber? That way you've technically died, without dying."

You run a hand through your hair, not knowing what to do with the suggestion. You remember the potion from last year's classes. How it was pretty tricky to make. Even Hermione couldn't do it.

"Do you think the Potions supply cupboard is still intact?", you question with a small smile as you hold out your hand. Theo gives you a smile back as he takes your hand and pulls you out of the classroom.

The two of you hurry towards the basement. You stumble a couple of times over debris but in the end, you manage to get to the Potion's classroom in one piece.

"You grab the supplies, I grab the ingredients", says Theodore after managing to find a potions book.

The two of you scatter around the classroom setting up the station. You've lit the fire and made sure the cauldron is secured in place by the time Theo's collected all the ingredients.

"This is the last bit of sloth brain so this batch has to be it", says Theo in earnest.

You work together in silence. Cutting and crushing the ingredients while the other manages the temperature. The temperature in the classroom rises significantly and you shrug off your jacket.

Theo seems distracted for a moment before you snap him out of it. He gives you a sneaky smile while you roll your eyes.

After a while, the potion goes from pale lilac to clear to black as a signal it's done. Theo bottles it with a shaking hand and holds the vial up to the light. The potion is so black that no light is able to penetrate.

"Do you… do you have the antidote?", you ask while holding the vial. A green bottle gets pulled from Theo's inner pocket and he shakes it. "Wiggenweld Potion? It's that easy?"

Theo shrugs his shoulders. "Sometimes it is."

You conjure a small mattress and pillow on the floor and go sit on it. Playing with the vial, the severity of the situation dawns on you.

"Half an hour. After thirty minutes I'm pouring the Wiggenweld down your throat." Theo helps bring the black potion to your lips, but you stop him just before giving him one last kiss. It could well be your last one.

The potion tastes vile and you gag while Theo helps you lay down. As drowsyness settles over you, you reach out and grab his hand. "I love you", you whisper before the lights go out.

When you open your eyes again, it's blindingly white. Squinting, you go to sit up and a hand appears. Following the hand, you gasp as Tom Riddle stands before you. You scramble up and make space between you and him.

"What are you doing here?" Your voice echoes around. Where even are you.

Your eyes travel around and it looks like it's the beach. Looking down, you're barefoot and in a white sundress. It's weird how white everything is. Even the ocean.

"Why are we here?"

Tom Riddle comes to stand next to you. He puts his hands in his trousers as he watches over the water. "I don't know. You called me here."

That makes you frown. Why would you call the younger version of your father towards some weird hallucination of the beach at the beach house?

"I must say, it's smart how you tricked me. Draught of Living Death." He lets out a laugh while shaking his head.

Blinking, you stare at him. How you tricked him? Does he mean… Voldemort? Or..?

"You're Death", you sound breathless, eyes wide and face pale.

Tom Riddle — Death — looks at you with a charming smile as he reaches out to grab your hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Riddle." He brings your hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

It's so weird. This is weird.

"You must ask yourself why this version of him, right?", Death muses, a half smile on his face. He has his hands clasped behind his back again. "You never had a connection with him or an affinity with his younger years. So why this?"

You must admit that he's right. But then again, Death is almost always right.

"It's because I associate him with death. And at least now you're pleasant to look at. That's the first thing that comes to mind, at least." You give Death an awkward smile and he belly laughs.

He full-on throws his head back and laughs out loud. A wide smile on his face, which is remarkably contagious. By the end of it, both you and Death stand next to each other, toes in the sand and laughing loudly.

You lick your lips. "I never expected death to be this joyful."

Death cocks his head to the side. "Oh but Miss Riddle, this is not death. Yes, you are dead. The potion you and your husband brew was a little bit too strong." The joyous way he says it sends a chill down your spine.

"So- so what is this then?" You look around you, but nothing is there.

He straightens his back and points over your shoulder. Far in the distance, you see something lying. It's small and crumpled up. You at Death and he gives you a motivating nod.

Slowly, the two of you walk towards the thing. The closer you get the more you see it's something of a bloody foetus. Some abortion abomination.

Looking back at Death, you raise a single eyebrow. "What's this?"

He crouches down and looks at it. "It seems like it is the part of Voldemort's soul that has managed to latch itself onto your own. Pathetic isn't it?"

You scrunch your nose. "More disgusting seems like. Do I need to destroy it in order to get rid of it?"

Death stands up again and faces you. "No. It's already dying. Your part here is done. I'll send you back now."

"You're letting me go?", you ask surprised.

"Miss Riddle, many may say I'm evil, but I'm not cruel. I recognise it's not your time yet. Not for many, many years."

A small smile grows on your face. "Thank you. I would hate to leave Teddy behind."

The world around you starts to become brighter and brighter and Death slowly fades. You close your eyes and when you open them again, you're face to face with a teary-eyed Theodore.

A relieved sob escapes him once he sees your eyes and he cradles you tightly to his body. "Yo- you died. Your heart stopped. I-I lost you. I lost you", he sobs, rubbing his chin over your head. You let him run his course, happy to be back on earth again.

"He said our potion was too strong. We've made it too well."

Theo abruptly releases you and looks at you with big eyes. "Who? Who said that?"

Licking your lips, you hold his hand. "Death. He said I was dead but that it wasn't my time."

Theo looks at you like you've gone crazy so you pull him closer to you to kiss him. "You know what I said to him?", you ask between kisses. "That I would hate to leave you. So you're stuck with me for many, many years."

A sad laugh escapes him. "God I hope so."

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo @literallyobessed @lestat-whore @vanishingcherry @harrysnovia @pietrobae @ireallywannasleep127 @yeolsbubbles @fruityfrog505 @fluffybunnyu @theroyalmanatee @shinrjj @hegdus @kermits-bitch @m1kasawps @noah-uhhh-what @mypolicemanharryyy @fals3-g0d @decapitated-coffee @thatgirljas13 @slytherinambitious @raineisms @mastermindmiko @timmytime17 @regsg18 @supernatural-lover @bubybubsters @lafrone @hermionelove @the-sander-fander @akengii @aliciacat20 @unstablereader @burns-in-the-sun @rachelnicolee @damagelove @mqndrqke @llpovi @clairesjointshurt @222244445555 @jolly4holly @padf00ts-l0ver @fandom-life-12 @prettyb1tchsblog @pari-1 @f14ever @nopedefe @randomgurl2326 @rinalouu @yazminetrahan @ellen3101 @comfyvic

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ayamari-no-goshi · 3 months

Text

I've gotten some questions regarding whether or not I've abandoned fics (specifically the DP x DC ones)

I haven't, but please understand that it's a hobby. Sometimes life doesn't allow me to have time or the energy to want to work on my projects.

Let me just explain the BS that I dealt with in 2023 that's caused writing to go on a back burner for multiple reasons. These are in approximate order.

discovering a friendship was super toxic and person had gotten dangerous to be around. I still have to be very careful visiting a friend who still lives in his area because no one knows how he’ll respond (2023 started off great)

Surgery in Feb… I accidentally re-opened my stitches in March and never felt it happen

Harassment at work that eventually resulted in someone being banned… and the cops being called

First ocular migraine, which happened at worked and scared the shit out of me

First emergency at work that required a 911 call. (The officer that responded before the paramedics seriously looked like Dick Grayson. While my tech saw him too, I’m not convinced he was real)

I cut my finger open on a sword and had to get stitches. Don’t worry about it. I don’t

Trying to be emotional support for friends when online stressors kicked into high gear

Surprise DA inspection at work

Surprise FBI visit at work

Nearly getting caught up in a landslide in Scotland while on vacation (weird things like this are not abnormal when I travel. Also saw something weird in Loch Ness that same day. I think it was just a log though)

People saying disparaging things since I don’t particularly fit into the normal mold of one of my fandoms

Massive depressive episode

Probable concussion from sword - don’t worry about it

Set off DA investigation 1 at work

Set off DA investigation 2 at work

Was part of a sting operation at work

Hosted friends from out of state and country (one of the few good things from 2023)

My cat sat on my laptop and damaged it

Harassment and banishment round 2

Family member died and another ended up in the hospital on the same day for unrelated reasons

My fencing studio closed and I’m not adjusting well to the new one

Bullshit from work that’s just been non-stop since I set up and opened a pharmacy for them.

Honorable mention from 2024: a fire sprinkler pipe froze and broke and ended up flooding my pharmacy in Jan

#Goshi’s thoughts #2023 sucked #like it was bad #but this is why writing was so hard #I just don’t have the energy or want to write at the moment #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover

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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 11 months

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Mc has Blackmail material on the Brothers

Lucifer:

you manged to get a video of him completely drunk and spilling all of his feelings for you or what he truly things about his Brothers, both things you can use against him when he tries to punish you for one of your pranks

which actually get´s you in even more trouble because he rarely humors your claims or just straight up doesn´t believe you that you have anything like this, which you do have he´s just to used to Mammon lying about this so he won´t get into trouble

but if he did believe you he would force you to delete them which would make it more likely for you to actually go through with showing them to someone, most likely sending into the Anti-Lucifer Leagues chat so it can spread even with you dead, because let´s face it he would probably die from embarrassment if A. someone saw him drunk and B. people knew how he truly thinks about them and openly says he appreciates them

Mammon:

the only blackmail material you could get would be if you got evidence of his scams and threatened to tell Lucifer or if you somehow got a recording of him saying he loves you

if you show him the later he will refuse to admit the truth which either ends with you teasing him or saying he´s cute which will make him short circuit

but the former will work on him because he´s sure Lucifer doesn´t know about those and he wants to keep it this way not only because he´s scared of the consequences but also because Lucifer will make him give everything back

you won´t be able to get much out of him but he will take over your chores but only if you immediately delete or get ride of the evidence

which he just says in hope of you actually doing it and him not having to do anything at all

Leviathan:

pretty much everything he does can be used as blackmail material

from his body pillow, which you are pretty sure has a picture of you on it, his… “secret” collection of Manga or his only “slightly” undressed figurines

and those are only some it´s ridiculous easy to blackmail Levi it´s made even easier by the fact that he can be blackmailed with pretty much everything

I mean you can´t really get much out of him from blackmailing him but his reactions are usually really funny and this is pretty much the only reason why you do it

also the last time you brought up something embarrassing he quickly jumped into his aquarium and that was a hilarious sight

Satan:

you got prove of the countless Cats he sneaked into the House of Lamentation

which wasn´t hard because his room was covered in Cat hair and destroyed Cat food bags because the Cats where impatient

which is actually more of an open secret instead of something you could Blackmail him but you also know about the countless forbidden Tomes he owns, maybe you should have started with that one

sadly you can´t use those things against him because he told you multiple times that he will make your life a living hell if you ever tell Lucifer about those things

but you could tell someone else and see how it ends :)

Asmodeus:

you somehow managed to get an unflattering picture of Asmo, it didn´t even look or anything Asmo just didn´t look perfect and insisted on you deleting and or destroying it

he also threatened to tear you into a million pieces if you give it or show it anyone no matter what, even if someone broke into your phone and saw it that way he will know and kill you

and he ended his sentence with <3 which was honestly the scariest part because you were talking in person and you have no idea how he did it besides Demon magic and insisting to be Cute no matter what

but yeah if somebody finds out about others seeing the picture you will hope that you´re dead or at least run away from the Devildom forever

Beelzebub:

there actually isn´t much you can blackmail him with like you could tell his Brothers that he ate their food or telling Lucifer he ate another Demon but that´s it

surprisingly Beel doesn´t do much that is worth Blackmailing him for

I mean you could be a snitch but that´s just boring, it´s more fun if you´re extorting somebody over things they are embarrassed about

also there isn´t really much you can get out of Beel usually he just gives you some of his snacks if you ask and often times has no problem with helping you out

so yeah not much you can do in Blackmailing Beel

Belphegor:

just like with Beel there isn´t really much to Blackmail him with

and even if there was he wouldn´t even bother, he still has youngest privilege and can usually talk himself out of problems

and if it´s outside of his family he could always kill them so Blackmail doesn´t work

a lot of times when you told him you have Blackmail material he just rolled over told you to shut up and go back to sleep dude just straight up does not give a fuck

he sure knows how to take the fun out of things

also you might not have anything to Blackmail him with but this does not mean he won´t try and Blackmail you, he doesn´t even have a reason he just wants to fuck with you

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #obey me mammon #mammon avatar of greed #leviathan avatar of envy #obey me leviathan #satan avatar of wrath #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus avatar of lust #beelzebub avatar of gluttony #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #belphegor avatar of sloth

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

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Request: Hey so I was wonder if you could write a story with either kaz brekker × ADHD reader or freddy Carter × ADHD reader where the reader is struggling and ends up with haveing breakdown and is in tears with the fact that they can't stay focused and everything is slipping into a mess and they are struggling and they just comfort the reader. haven't been feeling very well lately and begin feeling overwhelmed and I love your work

Over It All : Kaz Brekker x Reader

@alex-kazbrekkersimp this is the last one I’ll be tagging you in unless you mention wanting to be added to one of (or multiple) my tag lists 💜 same note as on the last/Freddy one: Hi! So sorry for just getting to this! Ironically enough, I was experiencing this myself over the last few months. I hope you're feeling better! I did both characters/people, but I broke it up. In this one you'll find Kaz’s version.

Note: Thank you to @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r for helping me edit this!

Description: 3.8k wc, reader struggles with her ADHD to the point of breaking into tears, prompting Kaz to find a way to come to her aid. Hurt-comfort, angst-fluff

Warnings: SOC content (and applicable warnings), ADHD symptoms and experiences discussed, mention of crying and sadness, negative thoughts of self, some angst but fluffy ending/comfort

Y/n hid behind the empty box of spirits that Kaz had imported for the Crow Club. The bottles had already been removed and stored in their appropriate places. However, it seemed someone forgot to dispose of the now-empty crate. Y/n was beyond grateful for that oversight at this moment.

She’d been trying to hide from Kaz all evening. Normally she’d be able to be found in his office after dinner had been served. It had started as a means of bringing him food that she’d then have to all-but force him to eat; however, it soon turned into a nightly ritual in which the now-couple would either visit briefly or silently complete more work/hobbies.

Tonight was different. She didn’t want to go to his office. Y/n knew Kaz would be able to pick up on her negative energy. And for once, she didn’t want to talk about it. After all, she wasn’t sure how to explain herself to anyone.

She knew she couldn’t go to her room. That would be the first place Kaz would likely check for her after noticing her absence. She could go somewhere outside of the Slat or Crow’s Club entirely, but she didn’t want Kaz to worry either. So instead Y/n chose to stay in the back part of the Crow Club, hidden behind the empty wooden crate.

She wasn’t sure what her plan was, Y/n doubted she could outlast Kaz’s insomnia, but perhaps she could outlast his interest tonight. Maybe if she hid long enough, he’d grow tired of trying to find her (or wouldn’t risk the others being clued into the reason behind such behavior). At which point she could return to her room for some much needed sleep.

Y/n felt guilty for hiding from him. He hadn’t been the one to do anything wrong in this instance. Instead, it was her that failed to accomplish the tasks he’d assigned her. She had never struggled this much to complete them before.

However, given the chaotic dynamics of the club and increased heists lately, she’d been more stressed and less well-rested than normal. As such, her focus was waning. Well, waning would suggest she had at least some small amount of focus left. Which she didn’t. Lack of focus would be a better way to put it. She couldn’t focus if her life depended on it. In some way it did.

It wasn’t that Kaz would kill her, or even really threaten her for not completing the tasks as he might the other crows, but that was not the relationship he had with Y/n; and she knew that. But, she knew he’d still be disappointed in her.

Yet, that wasn’t even the biggest threat she faced when it came to having failed to do her job. Instead, Kaz was on a time crunch for moving forward with their next heist. If he went through with the heist despite Y/n not completing her assigned preparative tasks, someone could die.

Y/n had given up already on getting her tasks done today. She tried countless times, in countless ways, at countless different locations. All without even a minute level of success. They weren’t difficult, but her mind still wouldn’t cooperate or focus.

Hence why she resorted to isolating herself in the dingy back room of the club. It was almost poetic. This was the type of place she belonged after her shameful failures today. A place with cracked walls, dirt and soot, no lighting, cobwebs, and empty splintered boxes.

Kaz clenched the top of his crow’s head cane tightly as he limped down the stairs. He had spent the last hour waiting for Y/n to join him in his office, yet he’d seen no sign of her this evening. In fact, Kaz hadn’t seen her since the early hours of the day.

It wasn’t just that she wasn’t in his office tonight following the dinner Inej made the crows, it was that he couldn’t find her in her room either. Kaz even passed Inej in the hall and asked if she’d seen Y/n. He knew if Nina were nearby she’d be able to notice the way his heart rate increased dramatically upon Inej mentioning she hadn’t made it to dinner tonight. It was very unlike Y/n to not enjoy the company of the other crows.

Kaz could understand if he’d somehow done something to make her mad. However, that wouldn’t explain why she hadn’t joined the other crows for dinner. He never joined the crows for dinner of his own volition; unless Y/n pleaded with him for days prior. So something must have happened to prevent her from joining them tonight.

He wasn’t sure what was behind her absence, but he planned to get to the bottom of it. Kaz knew he couldn’t protect her from everything, especially in the barrel. Saints, he’d told her as much himself. Besides, he knew Y/n was more than capable of handling things herself. But, her absence tonight made his heart ache until he was practically speed-walking through his club.

“Boss, come join us” Jesper called, waving Kaz over to where he was. Jesper was leaning against the bar counter, Wylan beside him shaking his head.

“I’m clearly busy” Kaz retorted harshly, continuing his departure to the streets of the Barrel.

“Is everything alright?” Wylan bravely asked as he pulled a drink away from Jesper.

Kaz glanced sharply in his direction and shook his head, “I’m missing a crow”.

Wylan appeared to think for a moment, likely counting each crow and where/when he’d seen them last. “Who?” he pressed, unable to deduce who was missing.

This infuriated Kaz. How could Wylan, or any of his crows, not notice Y/n’s absence? Nor see it as problematic or concerning? Kaz reluctantly pushed those irritations aside for the time. Yet, he made a mental note to return to the matter later. After he’d found y/n.

“Y/n” Kaz groaned, his gloved hand squeezing the top of his cane until he felt the metal edges grinding into his palm.

“Really? I just saw-“ Wylan began, stopping when Jesper exaggeratedly shook his head and waved his hands around in the air.

Kaz rose his right eyebrow at the couple and turned to face them. He made his way to them silently, his grip still tight on his cane. But his pace had slowed now that there seemed to be a piece of information he had been missing.

“Where?” Kaz demanded firmly once he reached the counter.

“Umm… maybe I was-“ Wylan mumbled, his eyes full of confusion as he looked between his drunken boyfriend and Kaz’s angry glare.

Kaz smacked his cane against the hard floor, the sound reverberating throughout the club. Everything around them halted as all eyes shifted to watch Kaz tower menacingly over Jesper and Wylan. He turned enough to send the onlookers a warning glance.

Once the rest of the room had resumed their previously abandoned activities, Kaz stared expectantly at Wylan. Jesper was clearly in no place to be of assistance, despite the fact that he clearly knew something. Wylan, on the other hand, appeared to know where Y/n was at, but not whatever detail had Jesper telling him not to disclose her location.

“She…” Wylan trailed off, still uncertain whether to trust the hesitation of his boyfriend or comply with Kaz’s unspoken order.

Jesper groaned, leaning his head on the sticky counter. “No one chooses to stay back there if they want to be found” he mumbled.

Kaz furrowed his brows as he leaned closer to them. “If neither one of you tell me where she is within the next twenty seconds, I will-“ he began to threaten.

Wylan cut him off before he could inform them of their potential consequence. “Are you planning on hurting her?” Wylan questioned.

Kaz’s stare hardened despite the pain in his chest at the insinuation. He had never done anything to hurt Y/n. Saints, he threatened his crows, but would never truly act on it. Kaz knew his reputation was likely the reason Wylan was asking. Yet, Kaz hated that Wylan felt he had to ask if Kaz would hurt Y/n of all people.

Wylan’s body language shifted as he picked up on Kaz’s reaction to his question. Nonetheless, Kaz needed to know where Y/n was. More specifically, he needed visual confirmation that she was safe. And ideally, learn why she was seemingly avoiding him. “No”.

“She’s in the back. Behind the old storage boxes for the bar” Wylan stated, tilting his head towards the door behind him.

Kaz nodded once at Wylan, sent a stiff glance at Jesper, and moved past them. He couldn’t control the thoughts in his mind as he made his way back to the storage room. Why would she choose to be in the one truly unkempt place in the club? Why did she prefer to be there instead of in his office?

As the door creaked open, he saw movement behind the row of shabby shelves. He stared intently in that direction, hoping for another glance. He could’ve sworn he’d seen her y/h/c during the initial flicker of movement. But he didn’t want to announce himself just yet if he was wrong.

As he moved closer, he heard the sound of someone hitting the floor; he picked up his pace upon recognizing Y/n’s faint groan. It only took him a few seconds to reach the end of the aisle. When he did, he came upon the sight of her attempting to get off the ground.

Kaz watched as her eyes flickered from the ground, to his cane, then back down. He sighed loudly. If it wasn’t before, it was now evident she was avoiding Kaz. But he still couldn’t figure out why.

Y/n noticed Kaz extended his gloved hand down for her to use to stand. Y/n shook her head, pushing herself up. Once she was on her feet again, she brushed herself off. “Excuse me” she whispered, attempting to move around him.

Kaz’s gloved hand stopped her from leaving, his leather covered fingers wrapping around her wrist. He silently tapped her inner wrist before tugging on her arm. “Look at me” he said.

Y/n slowly spun around to face him but remained silent.

“Why are you acting like this?” Kaz asked, furrowing his brows as he stared down at her. He slowly let go of her wrist and dropped his hand back down to his side.

“Like what? I need to-“ she began, eyeing his gloves.

“Continue avoiding me?” He pushed, giving her a knowing look.

Kaz watched the way her eyes widened and lips parted. She clearly hadn’t expected him to call her out on her actions. Or perhaps she didn’t expect him to notice at all. Either way, it was clear he’d caught her off guard.

“You didn’t think I’d notice?” Kaz questioned, his voice a bit sharper than he intended.

Y/n glanced down at her dirty boots and sighed. “I hoped you wouldn’t. I hoped you would be focused on something other than my idiotic self” she admitted.

“Excuse me?” Kaz spat, frowning until he felt a pain above his eye.

“I am a failure, Kaz. That’s why I can’t look you in the eyes” y/n explained, shifting under his piercing stare.

Kaz sighed in annoyance, “Y/n, you know I don’t tolerate lying”.

“I’m not lying” she whispered, her voice cracking.

Kaz’s gaze softened as he saw a silent tear roll down her cheek. He shifted his jaw and took a deep breath. Kaz was about to ask Y/n what she was referring to when he heard her let out a quiet, shaking sob.

Kaz abruptly snapped his body in the opposite direction. He ignored the pain in his knee as he quickly limped back to the door that lead to the main hall of the club.

“Please don’t leave, I’ll stop crying” y/n whimpered, suddenly behind him. She grabbed his wrist with her hand, careful to only rest her skin again his jacket sleeve rather than his exposed skin.

Kaz turned to her, moving his arm until her hand was in his gloved one. He gave her as tender of a nod as he could. His voice was still rough but quiet as he told her “I’m sending everyone home”.

Worried the club would lose money by closing early, she began to argue. “But it’s busy tonight. It’s important that we-“

“No,” Kaz cut her off, squeezing her hand, “you’re what’s important right now”.

Kaz watched as Y/n crawled onto his bed silently. She was now dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of her shorts. The open window of his room provided some relief from the stuffy warmth of the air this time of year.

He wasn’t sure how to help her. To be fair, he wasn’t sure how to help anyone. Being vulnerable and emotionally supportive were not his strong suits.

He couldn’t physically hold her as she expressed her feelings. He wasn’t great at showing or expressing his own feelings. He didn’t know how to begin the conversation without upsetting her. And he didn’t know how to verbally respond if she were to express the reason for her depressed state.

He could be straight forward, he was good at that. But he didn’t feel that was enough. It was one thing to tell her she wasn’t a failure like she claimed, it was another to be able to elaborate on that and offer a compliment instead. And Kaz wasn’t good at the latter.

“You’re okay” Kaz said in a weak attempt at comforting her. He sighed softly as she nodded doubtfully and stared at her lap. He wasn’t off to a good start. “Did you.. Want to talk?” Kaz asked hesitantly. While he wasn’t sure how well that talk would go, he could at least offer one.

She glanced up at him briefly before her eyes quickly looked elsewhere, “No”.

Kaz nodded and removed his hat and jacket. He watched her closely while he hung up his items, eyes scanning her face as she tried to regulate her emotions. Once his outer layers were hanging on the rack, he made his way to her.

Sitting beside her, he still wasn’t sure what to do, but he would at least offer his presence. Kaz slowly extended his hand between them, palm up.

Y/n looked down at his hand and flickered her eyes up to his face in search of confirmation. When she received an affirmative nod, she rested her hand in his gloved one. She nearly jumped when his fingers laced through hers, and he gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

His actions eased some of her guilt, nerves, and shame. She now felt that perhaps she could tell him what was troubling her after all. Y/n knew he might not understand, but at least she could try and get it off her chest.

She hesitantly whispered his name in the form of a question, “Kaz?”. The corners of her lips twitched upwards faintly when he squeezed her hand again and hummed quietly as a sign for her to continue. “Maybe I do want to talk…is that okay?” Y/n asked.

Kaz nodded and gave her another small squeeze as he worked to calm the imaginary waters hitting his legs from the contact.

“I am not getting any of it done” she confessed, staring at the wall across the room from them.

“Any of what?” Kaz questioned, his eyes watching her body language intently.

“My jobs, I’m falling behind, and….and…and…” Y/n rambled, her mind once again unable to focus. Even now, when it came to her own emotions, her brain just would not focus enough for her to form the right words.

“And?” Kaz asked, his soft tone and careful attention saying more than his words ever could.

Y/n snapped her eyes over to him, the tears in them making Kaz grind his teeth. “I’m failing you” she responded after a few seconds.

“What?“ he questioned, letting out a breathy exhale. His tone this time was much harsher and more serious. Kaz hoped it displayed his offense over such a suggestion rather than coming across in a hurtful manner.

“I’m failing you” Y/n repeated. She looked away from his tense eyes, sighing when she felt his hand slackening its grip on hers. As a result, she began to pull her hand from his in embarrassment.

Kaz noticed the action and promptly readjusted his grip. He gave her a silent squeeze as he composed his thoughts. “What are you talking about?” Kaz finally asked, schooling his eyes to remain soft, despite his concern.

“You asked me to review the maps of Chenvilun’s, but I can’t focus” y/n cried. “I tried, but every sound from downstairs distracted me” She elaborated.

When Kaz nodded slowly, she continued, “So, I went to the University library. I thought it would be quiet”. Y/n sighed loudly, “But then the sound of pens from the studying students wouldn’t stop echoing in my head”.

Y/N’s free hand dragged down her face, “It’s hard to explain. But… Then I headed back here, and I can’t stop thinking about other things”. She felt Kaz’s eyes on her as she attempted to explain herself. “I could focus on some of those for a little while, but those weren’t what you asked me to do” she stated, frustration evident in her voice. “I wasn't accomplishing or doing what I needed to be… Meaning I also fell behind on the other stuff” Y/n confessed with a sniffle.

The confused look Kaz responded with prompted her to elaborate on that concern. “I didn't do my regular chores either; I didn’t help Nina with the dishes, or visit Rotty at the docks to see if there was anything to report to you” y/n pointed out, unconsciously tightening her grip on Kaz’s hand as her emotions took over, “and then I got so overwhelmed that it cycled and I-..I…I..-“

Kaz saw the signs of a panic attack beginning to take over; he knew the warning signs all too well. However, as he despised his own, he hated hers even more. At least with his, he was the one suffering. With hers, Y/n was the one in pain, and Kaz hated that. Especially since he couldn’t offer her much help whenever they’d hit.

He quietly moved closer to her, hoping his proximity would help. Kaz felt her hand slip from his as she began to tug on her hair with both hands, breathing loudly. He moved his gloved hand towards her and placed it on her shoulder.

“Y/n/n, your only task right now…” he stopped himself to reword his response. “The only thing I need, is for you to breathe” Kaz told her.

“No, you-“ She argued breathily.

Kaz firmly shook his head, “Your order is to breathe. That’s all.” He followed up his statement by intentionally breathing loudly. He maintained a steady pace in hopes she’d copy his breathing with her own.

Once her breathing was starting to improve, she lowered her hand from her face. Y/n took a deep breath, making sure the intake matched Kaz’s. She risked looking up at him despite her embarrassment. “You’re not mad I failed you?” Y/n wondered.

“You didn’t fail me” Kaz replied simply. When Y/n silently shook her head in disagreement, Kaz sighed. “Y/n, you did not fail me” he promised. Stepping outside his comfort zone, he tenderly added, “You could never fail me”. While he wasn’t sure about confessing such a vulnerable sentiment to her, when he saw the shimmer of joy in Y/n’s eyes, he knew it was worth it.

“One thing at a time, and we do it together” Kaz stated upon sensing Y/n was still worried over not finishing her jobs.

She nodded her agreement and grabbed the papers she had set down beside her when they entered his room.

“No. After you rest” Kaz corrected sternly.

Despite his sternness, Y/n still resisted his attempt to get her to forget about her duties for the night. “But,-“ she began to protest.

Kaz’s gloved hand shook slightly as he stroked Y/n's cheek, brushing a loose lock of hair from her face. “Not resting will make it worse,” He reminded her. Kaz cleared his throat, once again being more intentional with his words. “It will make you feel worse, and I won’t have that” Kaz explained.

Y/n wiped her face and nodded, but she still gave him a sad look that told him she wasn’t entirely on board yet. “I can’t sleep if my mind is racing” she explained. She looked shamefully back down at her lap. Kaz had already done so much for her tonight, yet here she was, still complaining.

Kaz silently racked his brain for a solution. Suddenly, it hit him as his eyes landed on the tiny bookshelf he’d installed specifically for Y/n’s collection. She had her own bookcase in her bedroom; however, Kaz often noticed she’d bring books to his room, trying to keep them neatly stacked and out of his way. Since then, hed had one of the dregs install the shelf.

The bookshelf served as a reminder to him of all the many occasions in which he would find her hyper-focused on reading her latest book. He knew she wasn’t likely able to read to herself tonight given her inattentiveness, but he suspected the material from her books could still offer her a distraction from the self-deprecating thoughts racing through her mind.

As such, Kaz unexpectedly offered to read aloud to her. It came as a surprise to both of them, as it was an unusual behavior and fairly intimate for the couple. But Kaz added it to his mental arsenal of solutions for whenever her focus failed her again. After all, it wasn’t long after he began reading to her that he found himself grinning like an idiot as she fell asleep in his bed with a small smile on her face.

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Tag list: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @directioner5life @nikfigueiredo @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @winstonthecow22 @missdreamofendless @supergaybish101

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boldlyvoid · 28 days

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Where There is Love, There is Life | Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Clandestine Meetings | for @elriel-month 2024

Summary: Elain finally takes matters into her own hands, tending to her life as carefully as she would her garden.

Warnings: requited love, mutual pining, love confessions, Smut!! Oral (fem receiving), wing play, teasing, multiple orgasms

Word Count: 6.1k | Masterlist

Dinner is weird.

She sits across from Rhys and bites her tongue. Which isn’t abnormal for her; she’s not talkative around him. They’re friendly, they’re family, but they’re not talkative. Part of her wants to yell at him. The rest of her knows that Feyre will handle it. But the part that wants to yell is bigger.

So, as Feyre picks up Nyx from his high chair and brings him out of the room to bathe him before bed, Elain takes her chance.

“I know what you did,” she announces.

The wraiths, her best friends, hear the seriousness of her tone and leave. Abandoning the dirty dishes for the safety and solitude of the kitchen.

“What are you talking about?”

“That night with Azriel, you made him stop,” she explains. You stepped in, you pulled him away from me. You made a decision for me, thinking it would benefit the court without considering my feelings. How many times are you going to do this? To Feyre and her family?”

He’s shocked. He never expected her to take such a tone with him, to stand up for herself. It’s evident by the way he blinks and pulls back, thinking about what he’s done and realizing how wrong he was. Before he can speak, she continues.

“I do not like Lucien. He is a good male, sure. He’s handsome, whatever? But do I love him? No. Would you force me to marry Lucien to benefit this court? What good does he really bring to you? He’s close to Vassa and Jurian, but do you know who else? Feyre, Nesta and myself. Jurian helped Azriel save me. My father made the deal that broke Vassa away from Koschei. Lucien is just a cog in the machine; he’s there for help, but he is not the reason it works.”

“I’m—

“And furthermore!” She cuts him off. “did you ever wonder why he spends so much time with Vassa instead of me? Have you ever considered he also doesn’t want this? If he did, he’d be here. You couldn’t stay away from Feyre, and Cassian couldn’t stay away from Nesta. No matter how much she pissed him off, he kept coming back. You fought for love. Lucien and I don’t like each other, the cauldron made a mistake, and I am sick and fucking tired of letting other people, other beings, make decisions for me. I have been controlled, kidnapped and changed all against my will. Do not force me into being unhappy for the rest of my life because it’s convenient to you.”

Rhys takes a deep breath at the same time that she does. They just stare at each other for a moment. He asks with his eyes if it’s his turn to speak, and she motions with her hand for him to go ahead.

“I didn’t think. Not about you,” he confirms. “My first fear wasn’t that we’d lose Lucien as emissary. It was that I could lose Azriel if he asked to fight to the death for your hand. Lucien was sleeping upstairs. If I could smell your arousal... if it had gone further and we heard you… gods know how it would’ve ended.”

“We would’ve gone somewhere else,” she assures. “And I don’t think Lucien would do that. Seeing what his mother went through, the way he aches for standing by while Feyre dealt with Tamlin, he wouldn’t force me into something I don’t want.”

“Azriel is my brother; I love him more than I can describe, I want him to be happy, yes, but I want him to live more than anything,” Rhys bows his head with a sigh. “How can I make this right?”

“Turn a blind eye to us for the time being.”

“Are you together?”

“I’m meeting him later, hopefully. I need him to know I am in love with him. That I want him. That my choice, the biggest choice I could ever make, is to choose him as my forever. I’ll deal with Lucien later; Feyre and I have a plan for that, which she will fill you in on later tonight. It will be fine. It’s not the first time a mating bond hasn’t been the end all be all, look at Luciens own mother. She is mated to Helion and married to Baron, and they’ve never fought over it… I like to think Lucien, no matter which father he takes after more, he’d let me be in control of this because he’s seen how much control his mother lacks.”

“So, get married.”

“What?” Elain’s eyes almost pop out of her skull; she can’t believe what he said.

“Marriage is as serious as a bond. I knew that once Feyre said I do to Tamlin, I wasn’t able to interfere; the bond would be there, but it would never happen. Helion does nothing because she’s married. Not because he’s afraid of Baron or because he enjoys keeping a secret. It’s something most males respect. So marry Azriel, make it official, and no one can interfere.”

“H-how?” She asks, still reeling from the idea.

“Feyre and I got married right before we went to get the cauldron, right before you were changed,” he explains with a solemn look on his face. Taking another deep breath, he says, “I knew no matter what happened, by marrying her and making her our high lady, my court would be taken care of, and if I died, I died a happy, married man. But it came in handy when she went back with Tamlin.”

Elain nods. “So… what? We just walk into a temple, and a priestess marries us? We don’t need anyone there to witness it? It just becomes official?”

“They will have a second priestess there to witness it,” Rhys assures. You can do it alone, in the middle of the night… or you can do it here, in the garden, with your closest friends and family, and we will keep it a secret until you want to tell Lucien.”

She nods along, slowly taking it all in. “I think… I think I want to talk to Az first. Make sure we’re on the same page.”

“You are,” Rhys smiles, that genuine, toothy, Rhys smile. “He almost beat the shit out of me because I told him to stay away. He put rocks in the fucking snowballs the next day.”

Elain laughs, blushing slightly as she shakes her head, “I love him so much; if you hadn’t stepped in, I was going to tell him that night.”

“I’m sorry. Truly sorry. You happiness, your future, your love, that’s all up to you. I won’t step in again, unless you need me, because we’re family,” he reminds her. “It’s been so long since I had a sister— and don’t tell Nesta I said this, but— I love you both, even if I have a weird way of showing it.”

Elain laughs, “You and Nesta butt heads like you’ve been siblings for 500 years. You both love so strongly, and you’re so afraid of people you love thinking the worst of you that it comes out in screaming matches and shoves. But she loves you; I know she does. If not because of Feyre, because of Cassian and how you kept him safe as a boy.”

“If I could go back in time and do it all again, I’d simply go find him sooner.”

It breaks her heart what the boys went through before meeting Rhys. Even if they hated each other for the first little bit, they saved each other—again and again and again.

“I, uh, I’m going to go settle down for the night,” she announces as she stands up. “Thank you for understanding and for the advice.”

He nods, “I’m always here for you, Elain. For anything.”

—

He gets there early.

He winnows to the townhouse garden. Sitting at the little picnic table in the dark, he contemplates bringing out some candles and making the garden brighter, but he also doesn’t want to draw attention to the townhouse. It’s known to be unoccupied currently, and the last thing he wants is for someone to ask Rhys why the lights were on tonight.

He sends the shadows out to watch the house and alert him when Elain is at the front door. She has a key, she’s allowed in the warding, and she’ll be here as quickly as she can walk over from the river house. So he sends another shadow to watch the path she would take to ensure her safety.

He can tell it's midnight from the moon's position; he stares up at the stars, wanting to memorize where they were the day he finally told Elain the truth—that he loves her more than he could ever properly explain, but he’ll try. He’ll tell her everything tonight, even if it’s almost a year too late.

Elain clears her throat, alerting him that she’s arrived and startling him. “How did you—

“I can winnow,” she shrugs. “How do you think I was able to stab that asshole so fast?”

He lets out a small laugh, shaking his head before taking her in. He looks her up and down, and his heart skips a beat. In her deep blue dress, it might even be purple in daylight, but in the moonlight, it’s blue—his favourite shade of blue on his favourite person in the whole world.

He smiles then, “I figured it was a heat of the moment power serge… Feyre had the same problem with her powers when she was learning; if she got too excited, angry, or… lustful, she could freeze, burn, blind, or disappear.”

She nods, stepping closer to the table. " It was a shock that first time, but I kept learning. Nuala and Cerridwen helped me; they’ve taught me a lot."

He smirks, shaking his head slightly, “I should’ve known you 3 would be dangerous together.”

She giggles that beautiful, miraculous giggle. She sits across from him, “Yeah, well, I’m going to have to learn how to be dangerous if I’m going to be married to you, shadowsinger.”

Everything stops. His breathing, his heart, the noise of the night in the city—it’s all gone.

“Excuse me?” It falls out of him.

She just smiles, big and toothy, her head slightly cocked to the side her eyes gleaming. It’s the same smile Feyre gives Rhys. He knows it well. She��s in love with him.

“I gave Rhysand a talking to for stepping in last year. I… I want to make the choice of who I end up with, who I love. And while the cauldron was right for my sisters, the choice it made for me wasn’t right. I don’t agree, and I am putting my foot down. I’m taking my future into my own hands.”

He nods along, “Okay.”

“I love you. I want you. I need you.” Her voice lowers on the last line. She looks at him through her lashes and smirks slightly. “So marry me. Make me yours as much as you are mine, and together, we can deal with whatever that brings.”

That was the last thing he expected tonight. However, he had dreamed about this moment… just a little differently. He was going to ask her about the continent during a trip to the Botanical Garden in Vallahan, somewhere she’d talked about visiting since she learned of it 2 years ago.

“Tonight?” He asks, “Alone?”

She shrugs, “If you want that. Rhys also suggested we do it in the garden at their house, with just a small group of us, so that it can stay a secret until we can tell Lucien.”

“What if he—

“He’ll take it well. I think he’ll be just as relieved to know I don’t want him as I will be to know he doesn’t want me either,” she explains. “I have a feeling he stays with Vassa for more reasons than just that she understands him. I think he fell in love with her.”

“That… that would make sense,” Azriel agrees. “He is very opinionated about breaking her curse and he would do anything for her the same way I would for you.”

Her eyes light right up again, so big the stars reflect in her pupils. “So you love me?”

He lets out a deep breath, staring deeply into her eyes. Reaching out over the table, he takes her beautiful hands. “So much that it feels like my heart could explode. I never, ever thought I could feel like this and I’ve been alive—

“Forever?” She teases, squeezing his hand.

He laughs, “a long time, yes. And in all those years I’ve never believed it could happen to me. To be loved the way I love someone, to feel like I deserve it… you make me feel worthy. You make me feel good. I just hope that my love brings something as meaningful to you as yours has brought to me.”

“Oh, Az,” she drops his hand and rushes around the table; he meets her halfway. “You make me feel so powerful and strong and… and me. I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you. You don’t make decisions for me, you don’t talk over me, you don’t talk down to me… you’re so wonderful and strong and powerful, yet you respect me as if I’m exactly as powerful. You respect me, you care for me, you are an extension of me at this point. I love you with my whole soul.”

He cups her jaw and pulls her back to look down at her; every hair on his body stands up with anticipation as he stares into her eyes. The last time they were this close he fucked it all up. “I never meant what I said that night. You weren’t a mistake; Rhys made me feel like I was making one… You’d never be a mistake.”

“I know,” she whispers softly, looking from his eyes to his lips. “Kissing you wouldn’t have been the mistake, trying to pretend we weren’t together behind everyones backs would’ve been. Loving you proudly, out loud and in front of everyone is what you deserve. What we deserve.”

“What we both deserve,” he agrees before pulling her in and pressing his lips against hers.

—

The second his lips touch hers, the world stops. Her eyes close in an instant. She wraps herself around him just as his big hands grasp her back and tug her in so they’re chest to chest. She hums against him, safe and content, where she’s always wanted to be—where she’s always meant to be.

This is what she wanted last solstice; all those same feelings come rushing back. Her arousal coursed through her; she wanted him more than air, and as she took in a deep breath from her nose, she could tell he wanted her just as bad. His tongue slides over her bottom lip, begging for access to more of her mouth, so she lets him in. Tasting his tongue, exploring his mouth, feeling up his back as he cradles her head and holds her so carefully like she could break. Pressed against him, his leg juts out between her legs just right for her to gently grind upon.

His hands slip down to her ass as he pulls her hips closer until she feels the outline of his cock pressed against her. She moans into his mouth and that heady and delicious scent comes pouring from him in response. He wants her just as badly as she wants him. Heat floods her body; she lifts a leg to wrap around him and pull him in even closer and to her surprise, he pushes the material of her dress up to grip her bare leg right under the knee and hold her there.

He kisses down the side of her neck, growling lightly, “fuck, Elain, your scent is going to be the death of me.”

She tilts her head to the side, holding onto his massive shoulders for dear life as he nips and sucks at her skin. “Az,” she moans his name. “It’s all for you. Always you.”

He licks from her collarbone up to her ear, “you even taste like jasmine and honey.”

“More,” she breathes out. “Taste me more?”

He groans again, “let's get you to a bed—

“No!” she stops him, staring back into his eyes. “I want to do it here, where I fell in love with you.”

“Right here?”

She nods, “In the garden where you healed me… I have some blankets.” She waves her hand, and suddenly, there’s a pile of quilts and furs laid upon the ground, surrounded by lanterns and candles. “All I want is for you to take me in the flowers we planted together.”

“Elain,” he cups her face. “Anything you want, from now until forever, I will give it to you.”

“Then come on,” she smirks, taking his hand to lead him to the blankets.

She makes him sit first, leaning back on his hands with his wings slightly spread— enough to show off but not enough to knock anything over and set the garden ablaze. She hikes up her dress just enough to straddle his lap. The light, satin fabric pools around her hips, cascading over them. She cups his face once more as he wraps his arms gently around her.

“Are you sure?” He worries.

She nods, “I took the tonic this morning after breakfast, I’ve wanted to do this for a while— tell you that is, not... you know? Well…”

He smirks, “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, too.”

“How long has it been for you?” She wonders, almost regretting it.

“Since I met you… even before that. I think it might be five years now. Near the end of Amarantha’s reign, my shadows alerted me to what was happening all over, and I was too nervous to partake in anything fun.”

She nods, " As much as I hate her, I’m grateful she brought us together.”

He brushes her hair back behind her ear and cups her cheek, “I would’ve waited 500 more years for you.”

“And I would’ve come back, again and again and again, until our paths crossed.”

He gently cups her body and flips them around, resting her against the blankets and hovering over her. “I know something else you can do again and again for me.”

She knows exactly what he means, “Oh, please?” She begs. “I’ve never… but I want to.”

“Never?” His eyes widen in shock.

“Never…”

“Well then, at least we get to share at least 1 first each tonight.” She looks at him, confused. “You’ll get to cum, and I get to be loved. Truly loved.”

“Oh,” she swoons. “I do love you; I love you so much.”

“Let me show you just how much I love you,” he coos, leaning back in to kiss her lips.

With her dress still hiked up, the bulge in his pants pressed directly against her underclothes. He feels so remarkable, both against her and as his tongue reenters her mouth.

Before she can get into it again, he kisses her lips one last time, and he shuffles down between her legs even more. He kisses her neck, shoulder, and collarbones, “can I?” He whispers against her skin, hand tracing the bodice of her dress, over her pebbled nipples and up towards the straps.

“Yes,” she moans. “Touch me, Azriel.”

He makes a pleased sound, almost a purr against her, as he pushes her straps off her shoulders and pulls the dress down to her middle. Watching as her breasts become free from their silky prison and fall away from each other with the weight of them. He takes two handfuls, his scared hands carefully gripping them as she arches towards his touch. She never thought too much about her breasts, thinking they were a fine size, not too big and not too small… looking at them now, in his hands, she realized they were made for this. To fit perfectly in the palms of her lover's hands, her one true love's hands.

Then, he grips her tits, pushing them together, and kisses her right nipple, then the left and then he lets them go. Gravity separates them enough for him to kiss the centre of her chest and down her stomach until he’s lying between her legs. Tugging at the dress once more, she lifts her hips to help him slide it off of her, down her legs and abandoned on the blankets beside them.

He kisses her stomach again, hands sliding along her thighs as he pushes them apart even more. Resting between them, he presses a kiss right to the fabric in the centre of her underwear. “Are you 100% positive you want this?”

“Yes, Azriel,” she breathes out, assuring him one last time before he starts to pull her panties right off.

She’d dreamed about this moment, the way he’d look up at her with greedy, lust-blown eyes just as he kissed the most sensitive part of her.

She’s had the unfortunate experience of hearing her sisters with their mates, thinking they were overexaggerating their noises just to stroke their Illyrian egos. She had no idea it was this good.

His tongue glides along her quim, slowly savouring the taste of her slick. She reached for him, resting on one elbow as her free hand ran through his hair. He looked up into her eyes, smirking as he sucked on her, causing her to gasp. “Oh gods,” she whined, just as he growled against her. The vibration radiates through her body.

She had never felt like this. The heat in her veins danced through her body, sparking like her favourite wine. She arched off the bed, pushing herself closer to him; she wanted more. She wanted all of it—all of him.

The way his hands gripped her thighs, holding her open as he dragged his tongue over her once more before plunging his tongue right into her. She gasped, not expecting it. She had read about this, having stolen one of Nesta’s books when she was a teenager… but this, this was far more intimate, more intense than she expected. His nose brushed against that bundle of nerves as his tongue turned inside her. Fucking her with his tongue, reaching a place inside of her that no one else had.

She swore she closed her eyes at the feeling, yet she could still see stars. Whining and moaning as her hips undulated to meet his movements, she didn’t care if the whole city heard them. The world should know that the shadow singer of the night court was hers, dedicated to her pleasure, and had promised himself to her for the rest of his life.

If this was anything to go by, she knew a good half of that remaining lifespan would be spent here. In her bed, between her thighs, inside her. Where he belonged.

Pressing a hand to her stomach, he held her down as he withdrew his tongue, going back up to her clit to flick his tongue against it. She cried out, feeling bubbling in her gut, lower than that… in her womb. Closer than she’d ever been in her life, she knew she was close to experiencing her first orgasm. Giving it to him would be a blessing— without any warning, he slipped a finger into her.

Breathing against her, he looked up to see her reaction as she looked down at him with pure shock on her face. “I’m going to need to stretch you,” he explained. “You’ll need to be prepared for me.”

She tossed her head back, “sweet fuck,” she moaned. “I knew it…”

He chuckled against her, “knew what?”

“Illyrian wingspans…” she tried to explain as he fucked her with his finger, kissing her clit over and over as he watched her. “They—gods— they’re indicators of size in other— other places.”

He hums, “That they are.”

She moaned again as he curled his finger, gently rubbing a spot inside of her that made those stars behind her eyes explode into blinding white light. That moan became a scream of pleasure as something foreign coursed through her body, making her shake and writhe against the blankets.

He coaxed her through it; behind the ringing in her ears, she could tell he was praising her. “Good girl, there it is; let it go.”

She couldn’t catch her breath, panting with her hand gripped to her breast, her chest heaved. “Was that?” She asked, not able to use any more words; her brain felt like it melted in her skull.

He hums against her thigh, pressing kisses there as she calms down, finger still inside her. “It was… you look beautiful when you cum.”

She just lay there, looking up at the stars again. “Holy fuck.”

He withdrew his finger then, and she felt his tongue back on her hole, lapping up her release. He groaned, “You taste even better.”

Her legs still quaked as she sat up slightly, looking down at him again. His eyes were blown out with lust, so impossibly dark… his wings spread out, fluttering and twitching every now and then as he kept licking at her. “Are you… are you sure I need more stretching?”

He nods, “Just 2 more fingers… give me 5 minutes?”

“Okay,” she smiles. “I can’t wait to have you back up here.”

“Oh,” he softens at that. “Here,” he offers; getting to his knees, he crawls over her. Keeping her thighs apart with a knee, his fingers dance over her sensitive clit and down to her hole. Leaning over her, he’s so close to her now. She can smell herself on his face; a husky jasmine essence covers him. “I can multitask.”

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down into a kiss. Tasting herself… he wasn’t wrong. She hums in his mouth; she could get used to this. And then there are two fingers working their way into her. Slowly, knuckle by knuckle, he was right about needing to stretch her because even this is a lot. She has to stop the kiss, breathing against him, “How in the world are your fingers so big?”

He laughs against her, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. He rests on his elbow, yet he’s still able to brush her hair off her face. All of him is huge, actually. He makes her feel so small, not in a bad way. She likes it. She likes how delicate she feels under him, knowing she’ll always be protected, especially as his big wings stretch out and hide them from the world.

She reaches out for his wings, brushing her fingers from the talon and down along the membrane. He shutters, bucking his hips against her legs. “You did that on purpose,” he groans.

She smirks, “oh, does it feel good?” She teases. “I had no idea.”

He bites her shoulder, making her yelp. He drags his tongue over the bite mark and then blows on it lightly, sending shivers down her entire body. Her nipples get even harder, somehow. He kisses from her shoulder to her chest, sucking her nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. He pumps his fingers in and out of her with more fervour, his thumb ghosting over her clit to see if she’s still too sensitive for more. She isn’t. She’s craving more of him all over again.

Curling his fingers again, his rhythm changed ever so slightly to rub that spot inside of her as he thrusts. She can hear how wet she is and feel it slipping out of her to pool on the sheets. When it all starts to feel a bit too much again, he slows down, withdraws all the way and starts to work in another finger.

She hisses; it’s more than she’s ever had inside of her. Her first time wasn’t anything too spectacular; Greyson was a typical, average human man. Nothing, absolutely nothing compared to Azriel. With his wings and his fingers… oh, she was in for a world of pleasure after the hurt subsided.

“You can take it,” he whispers in her ear, cooking her through it. Sucking on her neck gently, he presses his thumb into her clit for added pleasure. Knowing exactly what he’s doing, she eases up and relaxes just enough to let him in all the way. “Good girl.”

The phrase makes her brain fuzzy. She reels in the praise; it’s not often she’s complimented like this. She brushes a hand over his wing again, “Az…”

Deep from within, he purrs against her again, “Yes, sweetheart?”

“I’m good— ready, I’m ready,” she rushes out. “Please?”

He smiles, pulling away from her breasts, hovering over her; he keeps pumping into her. Scissoring his fingers slightly, stretching her even more before he pulls out. “Are you sure?”

She nods like her head is on a spring, “yes, Az, please?”

“Say it,” he orders, grinning like a devil, still fucking her with his fingers. “Tell what you want.”

“Fuck me,” she breathes out. “I want you to fuck me.”

“I can do that,” he teases, pulling out of her and sitting up on his knees. He’s quick to suck her juices off each one. Savouring the taste, his eyes roll back in his head slightly. He groans, pulling them out with a pop sound, “I’m never going to get enough of how you taste.”

She props herself up on her elbows, staring at him with her head cocked to the side. Her eyes drag over his body, over his tight black shirt and down towards the strain in his pants. “Are you going to stay clothed all night?”

With the snap of his fingers, he’s naked in front of her. So, so naked… her jaw drops at the sight of him. She’d seen him shirtless many times when he was working out on top of the house of wind or resting with Cassian in the backyard… she’d daydreamed about what he’d look like under the belt, but nothing compares to the real thing.

She quickly closed her mouth, swallowing before she could drool and embarrass herself. She reaches out for him, hand on his abs, she follows the bumps and ridges with her fingers, tracing over his skin causing him to breakout in goosebumps. She stops at the tuft of hair that usually peaks out of his training leathers. “Wow…”

His cock twitches, standing tall and pointing towards her, head gleaming as a pearl of precum dribbles out of him. Her hand drifts further down, tentatively gripping him at the base as she makes eye contact. Her fingers barely meet her thumb. He’s that thick and long… holy gods, she would take this. Again and again and again for the rest of her life.

She gets to her knees, still not as tall as him, stroking him lightly. Looking into his eyes, she deeply breathes, “Make love to me, Azriel.”

He lunges for her, kissing her hard, passionately. Hand at the nape of her neck, he caresses her with his thumb as his tongue meets hers once more. She would never tire of how he kissed her and savoured her, as if every kiss would be their last. His other hand rests on her lower back, pulling her in closer so their bare chests touch. She settles against him, letting go of his cock so she can wrap her arms around him and feel his back muscles, tracing gently around where his wings meet skin.

He whimpers into her mouth, nipping at her lip before pulling back, “lay back.”

She listens, quickly finding the most comfortable spot against the blankets, her head resting on a makeshift pillow of folded fur. With her legs spread, she watches him kneel between her legs once more, dropping over her, hands on either side of her, and caging her in. He looks at her like a meal, like he’s been starving for half a millennium.

Which, in a way, he has been.

Starved for love.

“I love you,” she whispers, reaching for him again. She cups his face. “I love you so much, Azriel.”

Fighting back what looks to be tears, he smiles, “I love you, Elain Archeron.”

“I’m ready when you are?”

“Okay,” he whispers; reaching between them, he gathers some of her wetness and rubs her clit for good measure. She bites her lip with a moan, still relaxed and happy and okay… so he slips in slowly. Inch by inch, watching himself disappear inside of her. It’s intoxicating to watch him watch her, but the feeling, the stretch… it’s far too good to stay focused.

He’s just hovering over her, completely inside of her, staring into her eyes while they take in the moment together. “You’re inside of me,” she whispers with a smile.

“I am,” he can’t help but laugh slightly, entirely in love with her. “Can I move?”

“Please?” she grips his shoulders for good measure, pulling out just enough to push back in again and again and again until he builds a beautiful rhythm that she adores. With her head lulled back, he kisses her neck and jaw, using everything in his power not to completely cover her in marks where the whole city could see tomorrow.

“Can you, can—“ she tries to talk, feeling too much to string much along. “Touch me… in that spot?” she begs, not wanting to say such a crude word out loud.

“Your clit?” He teases. “Of course.” Using his thumb, he rubs her clit while the rest of his flat hand rests on her pubic bone. He can almost feel himself with each trust, and it’s just as intense for her.

It’s everything she ever wanted and then some, more beautiful than any experience she could read in a book or imagine late at night… and usually he was the star of those dreams that felt like this. And now he’s real, and here and between her legs, making her feel more than ever before; she’s so fucking close again.

“Az,” she whispers, getting his attention back, “kiss me?”

She doesn’t have to ask twice; he kisses her hard and passionately, thrusting into her with precision and dedication to make sure she has a good time. He would be damned if he came before her, so he rubs her clit faster and fucks her deeper and kisses her harder. It’s all so much, her thighs are trebling again and she knows it’s going to happen, she wants to warn him but it feels too good to kiss him and hold him while he takes her there. And he feels it too, she knows he does by the way he whimpers against her mouth, “close?” He mumbles.

She nods, “please?”

“Cum baby,” he encourages her, feeling her clench around him, pulsing around his cock as she releases, just like she did on his fingers. “Good girl,” he praises, bucking his hips into her and withdrawing his hand from her clit. He wraps his arms around her, fucking her gently and with intent as he chases his own high. His wings spread wide, splayed out so fast that all the candles are extinguished by the gust of wind.

“Oh Elain,” he whispers, “oh, I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he groans as he cums, shaking on top of her.

She runs her hands over his back, touching that spot where his skin meets his wing—where she now knows he likes it—coaxing him through it all. It feels so much more intense than either of them expected.

He still’s inside of her, panting in her ear gently between each kiss to her neck. He just wants to hold her, he could fall asleep after how incredible it was, but then she starts to shake again, and it’s not because she’s cumming.

She’s crying, holding him tightly with her cheek pressed to the side of his head, “I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart,” he lifts himself up enough to look down at her, feeling himself start to tear up as well. “So, so much,” he feels the tear trickle down his cheek and land on her chest.

She pulls him into another kiss, holding his cheeks in her hands. She breathes him in deeply. “Thank you,” she whispers afterward.

“We’re even,” he teases with a smile, wiping her tears. “Thank you.”

@greenleaf777 @lostvillainess

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ganondoodle · 1 year

Text

so i sort of half accidentally did the end of totk on monday, i had over 130 hours and slightly over 50% of the game done and did the second to last fight with 3 hearts left and no way to heal but fairies after i gave up multiple times thinking the game might be trying to force me to fight a certain way xD

so im still playing it and am aiming for the 100% but i dont think theres gonna be much more to discover story wise the game is really fun and has a lot of detail and love put into it that you can really see, the music is fantastic as well, some of the characters get more love which is great but the story is … well disappointing but not surprising, especially in its treatment of ganondorf, who still feels incredibly flat as a character, which was to be expected but also … you cant fault people (including me) for faintly hoping theyd do something more interesting tho i will say the end fight is really well done and i cant think of a way to top that in terms of epicness xD

anyway, some unfiltered thoughts and opinions in no particular order (keep in mind i know its viddy game logic uwu but still some things can really destroy the immersion; and also i like to think too hard about the stuff i care about so take this with a grain of salt, i never expected the story to be world changing but i want to remind you that i am criticizing it bc i love this franchise)

--what the hell happened to all the sheikah tech?? botws story gets mentioned a few times but never is it mentioned what happened to all the tons of tech lying around everywhere? if they dismantled the towers for purah to build her new ones around i guess thats fine, but all the srhines? the titans ??? THE SHRINE OF LIFE??? its all gone, esepcially the shrine of life irks me bc the cave is still there and its still called by its bame but its nothing but a cave in a vague shape of how the buidling was it absolutely drives me crazy bc its so dumb?? even if it all stopped working for some reason why would you dismantled it all and even then where did the material go?? why would you dismanlted an neitre building like that anyway?? if you want to have a cave there just have it be half collapsed, if all sheikah tech has gotten useless just leave it there but overgrown?? and why is all of purahs tech still working then? zelda doesnt seem to care about it anymore either even tho shes been so obsessed with it for so long? the titans how would you even MOVE them?? you CANNOT tell me that all this tech that survived tens of thousands of years just went poof within a few years; and sometimes it even feels .. insulting? like you know how much robelo cared for cherry and now shes tiny and just serves as a way to buy fotos for your collection? the fact that the shrine of life is fully gone but the cave is vaguely shaped like its interior and where the bed used to be is a healing pool of water too? like idk if im just insane but it feels like 'haha lol remember what used to be here? get it? the water heals you like the bed in the shrine of life and lol there was the stairs HAHA remember? its gone now for no reason.lmao.' to be clear i like having some mysteries and all but that is just …. so weird? when i discovered the shrine of life i was so taken aback i didnt know what to do, it really broke my immersion, by alot even, it just makes it feel even more like all sheikah tech was replaced by much cooler (tm) sonau tech

--what happend to the sonau people? we only know that rauru and mineru are the last two remaining ones back then but … what made them die out like that? this is by far not as important to me as the issue with the sheikah tech but still feels like a point that could have been mentioned

--as much as i like the open world and how free you are to do things your own way but, regardign the dragon tears i think they should have been locked more behind story progression, i got all of them rather early on and it made it a lil frustrating to play through the other story parts bc you know the truth but you cant tell anyone and everyone around you is acting like a dumbass running after fake zelda while the real one is floating around above you, and i know thats partly my fault for getting them all so early but it still felt like some could have been more well hidden or locked or something since theres no hint to when it would fit to do which one; i expecpted impa to travel to each one but it seemed like she appeared on only a few here and there- additionally i fully expected her to be more important, that she would have an actual involment trying to help zelda undragonfy but that turned out to be very wrong lmao

--why are the enemies in the underground mining sonanium? ganondorf didnt seem itnerested at all in any of their tech, only in the mystery stones (only one too, he didnt seem to want any more of them either) they dont use it for anything? at least the ones on the surface collected stuff they could eat or use for fighting?

--did mineru really build herself a robot body just to fight ganondorf for a bit and then leave? as the last of the sonau, even tho long dead too, why wouldnt she tell their history and knowledge or something and instead if just helping a lil in the fight and then go poof (i half expected purah to be a surprise sage since the spirit one would have fit her i think)

--the zelda being the white dragon plot point lost alot of weight to me when it was just .. resolved like that in the end, i know she spent thousands of years like that and all but it seemed like a much heavier decision that later on felt a little less flat after fidning mineru even tho i felt like i didnt care at all at first bc of the way i found out ,and i half expected there to be an extra mission to try and find her soul again since that apparently gets lost when you do the whole dragon thing, but in the end that wasnt a problem at all, two ghosts and link (somehow naked again) blasting her with some magic(tm) and boom shes back and well and fine woohoo it was a non problem after all i didnt expect her to stay dragon since that would mean the end of the legend of zelda basically, but still it took away alot of the weight of her decision to me? like i get undragonfying her before the end would be difficult since you can get material off of her but still i hoped for something other than boom it resolved itself and i thoguht and worried about it for nothing honestly a post game or even another title where the main focus wouldnt be desstroying yet anyother one note evilest guy of them all and isntead the goal is to bring zeldas soul back and undragon her or something would have been a cool idea tbh tho i know its unrealistic

--did ganondorf think turning himself into a dragon would end the world somehow? did he mean the lil evil goo clouds he spit at you in the last fight to end the world? and how come that he was vunerable to fight? none of the other dragons could be hurt and for an 'immortal' dragon he sure went down fast also how did the stone get back on his forehead? you need to eat it to dragonfy yourself and zelda doesnt have her stone out either (i know viddy games logic but still) (on another note, gan shoving half his arm in his own mouth felt really cursed to watch)

--into WHAT exactly wanted gan to reshape the world into?? only destroying it is such a non reason if you want to rule it? theres nothing left to rule if you kill everything in it?? he just gonna play cards with some bokblins or what -i really wanted to fight ganondorf on the surface, not in his lil miasma incubation cave again :(

--so …. why he evil? are we really doing the and WHOOP suddendnly theres the eviliest guy of the world and he hates your guts for some reason thing again? no tension with the gerudo that seemed to follow him in the lil cutscene we see and the ones that went on raurus side? no actual origin? does he have ANYONE to talk to normally or did he just surround himself by monsters all the time or abadon everyone that once followed him once he got his power up?? you can make any design or fight as good as it can possibly be but in the end its still gonna feel hollow if the character has no character besides evil even the fake zelda wasnt actually him and just a lil puppet made of miasma so even him fucking with people is a little less interesting when he was actually just marinading in his lil goop cave, and the lil hand wink he gives you at phase two can only do so much lmao

--ganondorf is cool and all, but tbh he feels more like the evil miasma goop guy than anything else --why are the old sonau ruins in hyrule so different from the rest? like we know now that they arent actually a civilization from the sky alone but were even in the underground too, and all of their ruins have that blocky white style to it, the supposedly sonau ruins in phirone for example, albeit they share the dragon theme the style on the outside is very much different? and the ancient ruins from the other races dont match it either --are the sheikah descendants of the mixing of sonau and hylians? the white hair and third eye theme would fit to the only alive sonaus we see having white hair (fur?), the literal third eye and their affinity to techonology similar to the sheikah, and zelda having both light and time powers would make sense if its yet another descendant thing, but that would mean zelda was at least part sheikah .. (ngl white haired zelda might look pretty neat actually) but also … it didnt seem like sonia and rauru have been together all that long and no mention or even hint to them having children … which given that both of them die would be an important thing to mention no?

--why cant you do anything with the dongos but feed them????????? i wanna ride them :(

--where is kashiwa????????????????? they talk about him like hes a lost legend

--putting in all the amiibo stuff is cool and annoying at the same time, i spent 5 hours fighting my way throguh the underground to follow treasure maps and found 3 nigh identcal link hats from past games in a row, then two other parts of similar, then two aiimbo weapons and then jsut yesterday another one from a bigger quest that i expected more of; getting the armor sets of past games is cool if you want them but if i did i would have just gotten the amiibos back in botw, my inevntory already feels super bloated with all the new and old armor sets and now the amiibo stuff as well even tho i have like .. half of it all atm (and dont go and argue 'oh so complaining about more content for free???' yes. yes i am.)

--whats with this game and making link almost naked? rauru saving you from death? naked. (annoying) survival shrines? naked. weird teleport to alternate ghost dimension to blast zelda with magic power tm to solve all problems? naked.

--(added in edit) im glad dorephan didnt die!! i fully expected him to have died offscreen or something to make way for everyones favorite fish

--(added in edit) so are definitely other lands besides hyrule if yona came from there, also lol

--the story feels, espeically once you see the last cutscene, very …. uncomfortable to me if dare to think about it more than just taking everythign as its said to you, like … the oh so perfect descednants of the gods(what) marry a normal hylian lady and sourround themselves with perfetly obedient faceless servants of the other races so the perfect and good kingdom tm is born and oh suddendly theres an evil brown man (makign him grey doesnt change the implications, if anything, it makes it worse bc they wont even stand for it and instead are trying to hide it behind uuuuh no no its fine hes blue actally kinda way) from the desert that attacks the perfect good kingdom and king, then he swears alliance to them only to betray and murder da queen right away to get his hands on a super power the perfect and good king held and would have never never used it in a bad way nono and now they need to defend it by all means and at the end woohoo zelda has now again the perfect kingdom with no opposition except the yiga who are (as much as i love them) mostly played for laughs or .. well, evil(tm) as epic and cool the dragon fight was, zelda being the slim tiny white/gold/blue dragon and ganondorf being the evil spiky big black and red dragon and them literally being called white/black dragon feels like wow they arent even trying to hide the black and white storytelling huh (i know its a design trope to the bad be black(color) and the good anything else and spiky vs round and soft blah blah but that doesnt make it any better .. maybe even worse? idk)

the way nintendy was keeping stuff a secret and hinting around so much made me feel like it would finally be a little more nuanced and then it turned out to be even flatter than before and all that secrecy(?) was only to keep dragon zelda plotpoint a secret, something that was resolved no problem in the end anyway (i didnt need zelda to stay dragon but .. it all just lost so much weight the way it was done at the end)

-- (added in edit) master koga is the best character and no one can beat him, the most joy i felt was seeing him again and i am not joking, i wish i could talk to him normally tho without him being able to see through my yiga disguise :( im so glad he didnt die tho bc if he actually went to gan he would 100% be dead within seconds

--(added in edit2) i forgot to mention but was just reminded that link getting his arm back felt super weird too, so really everything that meant major changes got reversed basically ... coool ...back to status quo i guess, couldnt he if he wasnt missing it at least have it be discolored somehow? or scarred? any reminder? zelda too even, could she also have some sort of scar or similar due to her transformation ??

--(added in edit2) so where did the mystery stones even come from? gans and zeldas are gone after dragonfying i guess so ...what?

so in summary, im not eloquent enough to properly analyse all the problematic/questionable stuff and put it into the right words, but these are my random thoughts just spilled out, theres gonna be things i missed, forgot, or gonna think about later, maybe ill add it maybe not

again take it with a grain of salt, the game is still one of the most fun games i have ever played, my problems with it lie majorly in the story, its still very much worth playing!

#ganondoodles talks #long post #totk spoilers #totk spoiler #totkspoilers #at least i havent seen the botw gerudo outfit yet #maybe one evil was defeated after all #to be clear i havent seen all of it yet #i have 72 shrine atm and am missing alot of colletibles still #but i wanted to write out my thoughts so maybe they will stop bothering me this much #but all this being said #i am now more then ever confused about being told that something about my hylia design was -correct- before totk released #bc all i can think of is sonia being mistaken for hylia?#and even then what .... is their similarity??#man was i anxious about the game when it was just like referenceing stuff #like gan being called the demon king and all and the war being called the sealing war #i feel so dumb about everything now lmao

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miami-lolz · 1 year

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In hindsight, this quote hits a lot harder considering “Mortyest Morty” isn’t even his Morty. And he’s not the “Rickest Rick”.

Does not include any spoilers for Season 7.

I feel like this quote is slept on a lot because it makes you wonder if he was even aware of the implications of what he said or if he said it knowing Morty wouldn’t understand. I don’t even think he would want to admit it, but he’s not “The Rickest Rick” mainly because he cares. Specifically, he gives a shit about a Morty that isn’t even his.

It’s shown subtlety throughout the show, like in the Season 1 Finale, Ricksy Business, when Rick got teary-eyed over a slide show showing Morty throughout his life. In A Rickle in Time, where Rick is willing to let himself die to save Morty, his last wish is for Morty to grow up better than him. As jaded and backward as he may show it, Rick definitely cares. Rick has had to switch to multiple universes and watch various versions of his family including his original Diana and Beth die throughout the show. Morty was his only constant, though, and he’s grabbed onto that. But for as much as he cares, Rick has a habit of pushing away, which comes into effect in the later seasons. Morty tries to help and relate to Rick to an extend. He constatly extends a branch to Rick, who almost always puts him down.

However, the more Rick pushes away, the more frustrated Morty gets. He starts calling out Rick on his BS and has even cussed him out several times. He’s threatened to stop going with Rick in the early season, but those were practically mute. Rick could easily force him or make him forget he started refusing. Rick only started taking Morty seriously when he began acting out. The more that Rick pushes back, the more the Prime part of Morty comes out, usually at the expense of anyone around him. I think that is the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back and pushed him to leave in Forgetting Sarick Mortshall with the two crows thing. Something that still upsets Morty if someone mentions it in season 7.

It also makes you think that the reason Morty has gotten progressively more aggressive and violent over these past couple of seasons is that the Prime part of him is getting more prominent. For example, in Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat, Morty got so obsessive over a future that he didn't brutally die; he quickly brushed off Ricks's death. It's somewhat out of character for him, though. He also attacked other soldiers and the general populace, just for him to find out it wasn't really worth much. Rick is getting more combative because he sees that part of Prime in Morty, which scares him. The episode Looks Who’s Purging Now was the starting point for his volatile behavior; Rick seems genuinely shocked and somewhat horrified as Morty's anger problems get the better of him, and he lashes out, killing many people even when they are hiding. Rick lied to Morty because he didn’t want him to know what he could do. Near the end of The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, Morty threatens Ethan with the machine Summer used after he ghosted her and messed with her body issues. In the after credit scene, we see a deformed Ethan stumbling in pain, implying Morty used the machine on him.

In Promortyus, Morty also showed little remorse for killing off all the aliens and went out of his way to cause damage, though he regretted it once he had to come back. A Rickconvenient Mort, Jerry was genuinely disturbed to hear Morty admit he murdered the Tina-Teers. And during the scene, Morty was extremely brutal. Its not the first time Morty has committed some diabolical crimes for someone he's interested in or generally cares about. In the episode Mort Dinner Rick Andre, his violent streak hits its crescendo. Once he got fed up with the Narnia people, he committed mass genocide out of frustration, and by the end, he didn't show much remorse.

I think the most damning evidence is the episode Rickshank Redemption, where during a stand-off, Morty is so fed up with Rick yelling at him during a standoff that he shoots Rick in the head. Not an arm or leg but in the forehead. He absolutely shot to kill. And yeah, you could say it was a spur-of-the-moment action based on frustration and impulse, but I think that was put in the episode not just a funny bit but a glimpse of what Morty is capable of. It was Morty basically saying "If were all going to die, Ive earned the right to be the one to take you out." There’s something symbolical about Morty killing both his best friend and the person that’s hurt him for years.

Its an interesting dichotomy as Rick seems to be mellowing out; Morty is slowly getting more comfortable with violence and generally more confident with himself. Rick is someone who gives off the bravado of a uncaring, cold hearted galactic criminal. However, the truth is Rick is someone who cares deeply for the people he's close to, and gets no enjoyment out of violence. Morty, on the other hand, is someone who tries to be caring, mercy full and forgiving. That being said, deep down he wants to stop having to constantly take the high road and give back all the pain and abuse he gets from others. These personality traits between the two constantly clash and the longer the live together, the more you see their original persona's corrode.

The season six finale, Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation, adds to this as Rick compares Morty to a “suicide bomber” because he was reckless and says he gets that from Prime. But C-137 is the only constant in Morty's life. He’s been through multiple universes and timelines but has had the same Rick for most of his life. Most of Morty's issues stem from things he had done or witnessed with Rick C-137. For example, the Vat of Acid Episode is what I would consider Rick at his absolute lowest. It's almost the kinda behavoir you would expect Prime to pull. Messing with Morty's head and killing a bunch of other Mortys just to say, "I told you so." Even going as far as gaslighting him by saying he COULD have listened to Rick tell him how it worked, even though Rick probably wouldn't have told him either way. It caused communication between these two to break down. At that point, you can tell Morty doesn't have much trust or faith in him, and when Rick replaces himself with a robot that treats him just a little bit better, Morty immediately notices. He even thought Rick was messing with him and brought up the vat of acid episode. This is another example of how the Ricks action leaves permeate consequences and effects on Morty. Don't get me wrong, Morty is far from perfect and flawed, but so is Rick. They have real emotions and conflict, and it's these factors that separate them from Prime (at least from the glimpses of him that we have seen)

However, Morty does exhibit certain traits unlike what we've been lead to believe is normal "Morty" behavior. In Rickmurai Jack, Morty tries to lie to Rick and even goes as far as to age himself nearly 40 years to get him to come back. Another example is in The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, Where Morty coaxes Rick into going on an adventure with Jerry to keep him from committing seppuku, though there's a good chance it was just to get a break from adventures. Rick can’t really blame most of Morty's behavior on Prime because any behavior he picks up past season one is from him and him alone. But even then I don’t doubt that there are behavioral similarities between him and Rick Prime. The Prime universe was everyone’s personality amplified.

Rick almost likes to pretend his the top dog, the Rickest Rick but as few others, including Bird Person and the toxic version of himself, has pointed out, he’s not. He’s highly capable but he’s also vulnerable. Season 6 ended with Rick getting Morty more involved in the search for Prime, forcing him to face the truth of Mortys origin. But regardless one thing is for certain, Morty is really the Mortyest Morty in the finite central curve, and that scares C-137.

#adult swim #rick and morty #rick c137 #morty c137 #morty prime #rick prime #character analysis

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