#i refuse to take any of it back because I wholeheartedly believe this book could have been so so so much better

[jankwritten]

rick doesn’t write nor is in charge of whatever goes on in readriordan they do their own thing over there. also mark wrote the book, which is why characters seem ooc - rick still had input in terms of outlining, plot, editing etc but mark basically wrote it. mark has talked about how much control rick gave him so I can’t see Rick being nitpicky about the details. He doesn’t even seem nitpicky in the books he writes solo. now i understand that obviously not everyone knows that and i personally don’t really like mark’s writing style, but they’re a queer poc who put a lot work into writing a story for kids about love, acceptance and overcoming trauma, something they very personally relate to. i’m not saying it can’t be critiqued at all because of this but some of you aren’t even really critiquing it you’re just genuinely being harsh and mean and refuse to even see past the words on the page to see the message and the impact this’ll have on kids, especially queer ones. but no it’s completely irredeemable and a dumpster fire all because clearly people prefer rick’s writing style to mark’s. I just…..ugh. so so disappointing.

well, actually, my genuine problem with it is the way that it was written. the pacing of it, I mean, the way that the story flows just feels wrong, poorly thought out, and poorly executed.

I'm not saying that people can't enjoy the book. And I understand that it's not written for people my age. But from the standpoint of a writer, the book is genuinely just not as good.

Mark writing the book and pouring all their love and devotion into it doesn't change the fact that it feels like it falls flat from an actual writing standpoint. It feels like it was a surface level first draft, the rough outline for what the story was going to be. It's the barest of bones, full of continuity errors and references that feel jarring coming from the characters they come from, moments that feel like they're trying to mimic the original PJO series and instead fall flat and just feel like a mockery.

The topics that the story wanted to address felt like they were shoehorned in - the whole plot was weird and contrived, the fact that Hades was the one who orchestrated the whole thing, the book itself already doesn't make sense just based on that alone.

And the way that the story went about discussing Nico and Will's trauma, I don't know. It felt like every other second Nico and Will were switching rapidly between being confident and flirtatious to individually nervous wrecks, their thoughts didn't feel entirely grounded, the action sequences felt jerky and uncoordinated, I couldn't ever get into the character's head. I couldn't ever really see it through their eyes, if that makes sense, because things were being TOLD to us the whole time, not SHOWN to us. It's one of the first things you're told when you start writing: show, don't tell.

I will say that you're right. Some of us are just being outright mean to the book, which is our right, just like it's your right have not found anything objectionable during your readthrough. And that's totally fine! We're all entitled to our own opinions, that's the joy of being online. Those of us who are roasting the book, calling it a dumpsterfire or saying it resembles a 2013 era Wattpad fic, we're all being dramatic and mean because that's just how fandom is. That's how fandom has always been. We criticize the new media because it will never be as good as the origal, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

You're right that this book also means a lot in terms of queer rep. It's fucking insanely cool that Riordan and Oshiro got to write such a blatantly queer story about overcoming mental health troubles and navigating a relationship when you're young and traumatized! And they published it through Disney! That's a fucking massive win for representation in media, it's a crazy cool thing to have added to such a popular, well known universe like PJO! I myself figured out I was queer through reading PJO and feeling a connection to Nico specifically, so, yeah, seeing a stand-alone story about him and his boyfriend is actually really really cool to me.

That does not mean that I have to kiss it's boots and act like it's gods gift to gay kids, because it isn't. In the end, it's still a just book. it's still fallible. It is allowed to have it's faults, and I'm allowed to say what I want to about it, just like you are.

peace and love, friend. I hope you have a wonderful evening.

#asks! #tsats #tsats discourse #pjo #like yeah. i'm going to rag on the book because I think it blows. but that's just my opinion and other people are allowed to have theirs #as somebody who literally grew up with Nico di Angelo it kind of sucks to see him portrayed in the way TSATS portrays him #shrug. such is the way of life. #I hope you didn't send this ask with negative intentions or in an attempt to make me feel bad for saying what i've said. #i refuse to take any of it back because I wholeheartedly believe this book could have been so so so much better

[twilightmagick]

I am a witch. I have always been a witch. I've put in effort to have a book of knowledge at my disposal for when a spell or added oomph is needed. But my practice has fallen to the side because I cannot keep a routine to save my life.

My tarot cards call me out when I look to them for guidance. My pendulums take a while to warm back up to me or refuse to give me any response regardless of what I do or how I frame the question. My crystals could use a cleansing - hell, I'm sure my plants would love to keep some safe while also getting an added oomph.

My beliefs have changed - yet still remain in the Pagan umbrella - as life around me has changed. Things that weren't as important to me before had to take more precedence. While things feel somewhat stagnant, life is moving quickly.

Some things have never changed:

I have always viewed myself as a witch. I wholeheartedly believe that I am a witch. I have spent years practicing and forging my way. I've read so many books and I keep a collection of notes, as if I am back in high school, so that I may pass the books onto someone else who needs them. Everything I need is at my fingertips.

I continue to do the little things. Added kick to my morning coffee to keep my energies going; steeping my favorite tea with the intentions of helping me feel a certain way; and I'm probably going to carry some stones on me today to promote physical health because my right knee has been really bothering me for the past couple of days...; using intentions and correspondences when choosing ingredients for certain recipes to enhance both flavor of the dish and our daily lives. I could go on.

I have felt the affects of burnout in most aspects of life: work, emotions, mental, body. My craft is a "craft". I have my "manuals" for when I need to look back on them. But sometimes my main focus will be on survival of this wicked and wonderful world we live in.

Always coming back to it is the key.

I am a witch. I have always been a witch. I will always be a witch.

#witch #witchcraft #witchblr #witchy #magick #magic #pagan

[sadwizardjessi]

Tell me about ur ocs 👀

Would you believe that i JUST saw this omg i have no idea when this was sent in.

But gladly

Today I'm going to talk about Aspen. My favorite special boy (this is going to be very long)

His name is Aspen Creed, he's human, 30 years old, 6 foot 3 in, has ten skin and long brown hair (my current icon) and he's a fucking asshole. Draconic Sorcerer to the definition.

He was given as an infant to a town called Leeden that worships dragons. They accepted him wholeheartedly and because of his red dragon ancestry, they placed him as the chosen child. He was raised in a temple where he was isolated from outside influence and treated as untouchable but very controlled and watched royalty. He hated it but he didn't know any different.

Around 12 years old he found a gap in their security of him though and he began sneaking out into the woods behind the city wall, where he met a girl living amongst wolves. She was a teifling with a broken horn and almost completely feral. The second they met, she jumped down from a tree and bit him.

Despite him experiencing pain for the first time, he became obsessed quickly. She was new, she wasn't something under their watch. And more importantly, she was someone he could talk to. Even if she didn't exactly communicate back.

He began sneaking out books and such for her to go over. Teaching her to speak common and teaching himself infernal and showing her how to act with people while in exchange she taught him to hunt and survive. How to climb a tree, how to build things ect. Eventually he helped her pick a name; Lillith.

They began dating around 15. By 18 he was sure he was in love. There was no one else in the world that could compare to the strange woman he'd met in the woods.

The night of his 19th birthday he knew the next day was it. He was almost ready, he'd been told. He was going to ascend to become apart of the city, whatever that meant. But he knew if Lillith was ever seen by them she'd be killed on sight. So he ran. He left that night to her cabin and asked her to come with him.

Lillith has her own secret though. A secret that led her to the woods in the first place. So she refuses him, claiming to not love him anymore. That whatever he felt wasn't real. Any normal person would see her attempt at distancing herself to protect him, but as a heartbroken sheltered 19 year old boy, Aspen looses it and shouts at her before leaving alone.

Poorly, he makes his way to a nearby port town called Var. Unable to survive long on his own, he's dehydrated and tired and hungry. He sees People from Leeden looking for him and panics. Jumping in a box big enough to hold him, he hides. It's only minutes later however that the box is nailed shut and lifted. (Luckily its a box of fruit). Hours later the lid is lifted and looking down on his is 3 gruff looking adults, all shocked at the older teenager suddenly in their provisions. He climbs out and after realizing he's on the ocean, Var far back in the horizon line, he's led to the captains quarters where he meets one Captain Barnum Creed.

It doesn't take long for the two to become attached. Barnum is everything Aspen has never been. Suave, charismatic, smart, brave, powerful. And Aspen is everything Barnum has missed being. Young, romantic, impressionable. Before the second year mark, Aspen is adopting Barnum's last name and Barnum is referring to him as the son he never had.

It doesn't last however. Only six years were spent on The Rising Plauge ship as they're met with a vicious Dragon Turtle, seeming strangly focused on taking the ship down and all of its occupants. It's only after some desperation and quick thinking that Aspen is shoved onto a life boat with an old battered hat by Barnum and pushed out by a wave of magic away from the sinking ship.

He's still not sure to this day how he survived. One minute he was falling asleep from heat exhaustion and hunger and dehydration. The next he was awake on the beach, stiff from salt water but fully sated in all other regards.

He wonders for awhile, meeting up with Lillith twice even, but both times she only sticks around for a few weeks before catching herself and pushing him away again.

About 5 years after the ship sank, 4 years since he last saw Lillith, he's arrested and sentenced to death. He's on a ship with he meets 3 particular individuals, an amnesiac fire genasi named Pyre. A sweet Tabaxi girl with a bear named Fauna. And an old sad dwarf named Brene. This is the start of the campaign.

A lot has happened since the start of the campaign (we're hitting 6 years soon) but to fast forward-

Lillith had had Aspen's son in the 4 years he'd last seen her, she didn't know many human names so she named him Barnum, which Aspen has taken as an extremely romantic action despite Lillith not doing it in that way at all lol, he found out Lillith was a candidate for possession by a woman who'd split herself in half to try to becoming a living Lich to gain revenge on Pyre for cursing her in the first place thousands of years ago. (Pyre used to be her husband and went a little crazy with his love for her, wanting her to live forever with him).

Fauna is also one of these marked children, destined to become vessels for this evil woman. When Aspen found out he hunted Lillith down himself and declared himself to do whatever it takes to save her from this (even if that means sacrificing Fauna, but hopefully not). Brene left, they made new friends, Pyre and the mistress' daughter- a fire genasi named Sideris. Another human and great grandson of the Mistress, Edwin. And an army vet half orc named Calanthia. A few came and left, like Orion, an Aasimar they affectionatly called Onion bc everyone in the group is an asshole.

Calanthia and Fauna fell in love.

Lillith and Aspen had a second child, a daughter they named Jaem. After Lillith's best friend who died fighting alongside Aspen and his group. (They jokingly named theirselves A Soup [A- Aspen; S- Sideris; O-Orion; U- Ursa and Fauna; P- Pyre] Crew. It stuck.) Sideris adopted a sad water genasi girl named Violet. Fauna and Calanthia saved a small slave orc boy named Gorn. Both children have been left with Lillith.

Currently Lillith is Somwhere in the woods with her wolf awaiting death to come for her, leaving the children in the care of a very powerful wizard they'd met. Calanthia's sister is somewhere fighting evil while we try to chase after her. Fauna's mother possibly had a hand in msrking Fauna in the first place. Edwin has an angel threatening him with death for his revealed lineage. Aspen found out Barnum had been a lich from the beginning and working for the woman that marked Lillith. Though he recently betrayed her for them and is laying in wait to help them attack her army. Pyre discovered both the sacrifices and evil acts he committed in his thousands of years existence. Sideris is trying not to unravel as she travels with the shadow of her abusive father and fights against her war obsessed mother.

Also Aspen grew wings and breathed fire twice and grew taller and grew gigantic dragon wings and currently can only speak/ understand draconic, which no one else in the party speaks. So he's currently freaking out about that on top of his girlfriend being suicidal in some field and his toddler and new born with some wizard he hasn't met (she's more Sideris' contact, not Aspen's)

They have to return to Leeden soon to figure out what is happening to him and how to stop it. Then find Calanthia's sister and Fauna's mother. Then it's BBEG fight time. We're getting to the final stretch right now.

I played him in a previous game with my current DM (Lillith is her old character) for about two years that ended up falling apart. To say Aspen means a lot to me is an understatement. I've put 8 almost 9 years into this character. Im so excited to see the ending to his story.

#Aspen Creed #my son #Aspen #jessi's ocs #long post #dnd #d&d #dungeons & dragons

[mattspost-modernodyssey]

THE DECLINE OF CHRISTIANITY

Statistics indicate that Christianity of all varieties is in a steady decline and I even saw a TED Talk that projected that our faith is headed on a terminal course.  I say "our" because I am a Christian.  I don't wish to make anyone feel like an outsider, because that's the one thing we've done a damned good job at accomplishing for the last two milennia.  But I just wanted to show all my cards from the outset.

I've studied history, particularly the history of Christianity, for decades, but full disclosure--I don't have any degrees in the field.  I taught world history for nearly 20 years, so maybe that will convince somebody that I know what I'm talking about.  I've also been a Christian for nearly half a century--Southern Baptist for the first 20 years, "Agnostic" for three months, Episcopalian for the last 30 years, and spiritual explorer for almost my whole life.  That's my background.  Now enough about me.

Preachers are always bemoaning the decline of Christianity and they have lots of explanations for it--immorality, secular humanism, "the Devil," backsliding Christians, Christians not being true Christians, etc.

With the last one, I wholeheartedly agree.....but not with what they think being a true Christian is. 

Throughout my 20 years as an Evangelical Christian, I was taught and had reinforced upon me over and over again that my primary focus was to be sin-avoidance.  It was like that everywhere.  It was like there was no other purpose in a Christian's life but preventing oneself from committing a sin.  We were taught that we were born into sin--that even infants are sinners and our very nature is to be sinful and we can't help ourselves but to sin.  But we could be redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ if we believed in him.

I was cool with the last part, but there were a lot of moving parts to this concept as I thought about it more and more as I grew into adulthood.

How does an infant sin?

Is there a difference between having a sinful nature and actually sinning?

If you have a sinful nature, but you don't actually act on it and commit a sin, are you still a sinner? 

Do you still have to repent for sins if you didn't commit them or do you just repent for having a sinful nature that you did not choose and didn't act on?

And about this blood-atonement:  Which belief gets you absolved of your sins--Belief in the atonement, itself?

Belief that Christ died for your sins?

Belief that Jesus is the Son of God?

Belief that Jesus existed?

Belief in Jesus's teachings, as in taking them to heart and actually practicing them?

What even qualifies as a sin?

Are some sins worse than others?

I never had anyone in the Evangelical church even try to answer these questions.  Everything was all about obedience to God.  And apparently God only spoke in the Scriptures and never changed God's mind (even though God apparently does so a few times in the Old Testament/Septuagint according to the authors of those books).

Everybody either followed the mantra or refused to talk about it and scolded me for questioning God.  I wasn't questioning God.  I was questioning them.  And the fact that so many Christians can't distinguish between what is God and what is human is another problem, I think.  But maybe I'll come back to that later.

There are so many beautiful and wonderful things about Christianity--the power of faith, God's Grace, the focus on love for one another, the acts of charity Christ commands us to do, but many choose to focus on sin, instead.  It is an obsession with sin, acknowledging the perceived sin, rather than the person.  When you point out that Jesus spent a lot of time hanging out with sinners, tax collectors, the sick, and other outcasts, you are quickly reprimanded with "Jesus was there to correct them, not to join them in their sin."

Again, this term "sin" is vague in this context.  What was each person's "sin"?  I'm sure Jesus knew.  And I'm sure Jesus didn't go all round-robin scolding and humiliating these folks.  He put himself between the Pharisees and the "sinners."  He protected them as if they were his own children.  I'm sure if he were on earth today he would be shielding outcasts from pharisaic holier-than-thou churchfolk.

I believe Jesus saw that each person's "sin"--whatever it is that breaks our connection with God--is the result of something damaged and hurting inside of us.  And that, I believe is why  Jesus spent so much one-on-one time with those with whom "good decent church folks" wouldn't be seen.  He sought them out.  "Forgiving sins" was an act of spiritual and emotional healing, I believe.  Jesus saw the person above and beyond the sin.

So, here we are in 2023, watching the Church die slowly blaming everybody and everything but ourselves.  We fail to acknowledge that, though we name ourselves after Christ, many of us have become the very Pharisees that persecuted him.  We pray to The Lamb of God when many us behave like wolves. 

I believe that Christianity lost its way when our faith went from persecuted to legalized to official in the 4th century.  The 1st Century Church was the model.  The focus was following in the footsteps and teachings of Jesus.  Our spiritual ancestors loved openly, shared with all who had need, clothed the naked, housed the homeless, fed the hungry, healed the sick, and prayed for their enemies.  They lived in absolute selfless faith despite the very real possibility of slavery, torture, or execution or rape.  Today, American Christians rule the roost and many are often the persecutors rather than the persecuted.  Some of us cry "persecution" when we get sued for refusing to make a wedding cake for a same-sex couple taking vows to love one another purely and honestly forever.  Many Christians in America seem more apt to cry persecution whenever their right to hate is impeded rather than the right to love.  I don't believe Jesus sees it as a holy use of your freedom of religion to hate, exclude, persecute, and sometimes even terrorize people he would've been hanging out with on the daily.

So, Christianity is dying, not because of any outside forces, but because too many Christians are not practicing the way of life Jesus taught.   Many of us live in fear rather than faith.  Many shun the "other" rather than welcome them in order to explore how we can be the face or hands of Christ to them. Many want to hurt rather than heal, drive out rather than shelter and feed, chastise rather than comfort.  These are the true blasphemers who brand Christians like me as heretics and anti-Christs. And non-Christians see our hypocrisy.  In this age of fake news, auto tune, photo filters, and now AI everything, people desperately crave authenticity.  And they're not finding it in church, in a lot of cases, I'm afraid.)

So, there are many of us who follow Christ's teachings--the "Red Letters."  We encourage asking questions, but acknowledge we don't have all the answers...because no human does.  We still have questions ourselves.  We love everyone, even those who hate us.  We're not perfect.  We get mad at people, ourselves, God.  We get over it.  We believe our God-given purpose is to serve others--to heal, to minister to others' needs, to help God piece together the brokenness of others and the world,  to feed the hungry, and shelter the homeless.  We sound like a hippie commune, but I'm pretty sure that's more or less what the 1st Century Church was, maybe minus the psychedelics.

Unfortunately, the Evangelicals get all the attention.  There's more of them, their services are louder and more entertaining, and they're always saying and doing more interesting things.....and they have a fog machine and a rock band.

Well, my church affirms LGBTQ+ persons and most of our clergy perform same-sex marriages, but we don't think that's all that exotic.  Just seems to be the decent thing to do.  Love is love.

But still no fog machine.....unless you want to count the thurifer--the person who swings incense smoke all over everybody in the church on special occasions.

I don't believe Christianity will completely die out, though.  It may dwindle down to an almost unnoticable population or some of the beliefs and practices may be absorbed into other faiths if religion is even a thing in the future.  But whatever form it takes in the centuries ahead of us, it probably won't be recognizable to modern Christians.  I am hoping that tolerance and inclusion will be mainstream.  It will have to be or it will not survive.  If you want to argue with me, that's fine.  Just know that, in human history, ideas that are impractical never survive. 

Christianity was dominant in the West for so long because the Roman Catholic Church was a political force unto itself and controlled everything either overtly or from behind the scenes.  When the Protestant Churches popped up and became the official churches of various nations and empires, they did basically the same thing.  It was political power and influence and church wealth that kept the Church relevant, not faith in God.  Having a universal political power that kept rulers in check kept the peace and stability was extremely practical and lucrative for those at the top.

Now, we are at a point where we have access to all the history and we know how popes and bishops and sometimes even priests and abbots had no rules to follow and how much evil was committed in the name of God by the Church through the centuries.  How they encouraged wars for their own personal gain.  How they sold salvation and manipulated people's faith for their own purposes.  For much of the history of Christianity, the Church's de facto mission has been controlling the masses rather than saving them.

But the marriage between church and state has ended in divorce in most countries.  In the US, we still have numerous conservative Christian PACs and special interest groups (I've never heard of Progressive Christian SIGs, but I'll look 'em up.  I'm sure they exist.) and sometimes leaders may have religious leaders as advisors.  The US is one of the few countries where (certain branches of) Christianity still has any influence in government .

So, history, and church sex scandals, and sleazy televangelists, charlatan faith healers, and all sorts of absurdity from people who demand that the rest of us live pure lives and follow Jesus, while these folks clearly have no idea what Jesus ever said or did have pushed away a lot a rational-thinking Christians and would-be Christians.  So has the anti-science efforts of some churches.  So has the Evangelical embrace of really sinister politicians and adopting American patriotism as some kind of act of worship.

As the Church eschews rational thinking for some really bizarre stuff, I'm afraid it's just too much for many of us to bear.  So, yes,  maybe conservative Christianity will fade away as the current and future generations hopefully become more concerned with the ethics of Jesus and justice and serving others.  And we return to the 1st Century Christian hippie commune. 

I think people want religion to be something personal, tailor-made for the individual.  I've been told you can't cherry-pick Christianity...actually they said you can't cherry-pick the Bible, deciding what you believe and you don't.  That's not really true because both the Church and individuals have been doing it all along.  So, people may take some beliefs/practices from Christianity, some from Buddhism, some from maybe Wicca or Celtic spirituality, and maybe same shamanism.  My daughter showed me a YouTube video about Christian witchcraft which was pretty neat.

So, in closing, everybody just love one another, whether you're Christian or not.  Even if all religion is total garbage, it makes the world a much better place.

#christianity #history #theology #belief #spirituality #church #christian faith #christian #jesus #god #peace #philosophy #meaning #love #faith #truth

[deripmaver]

laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind. 

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao 

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.”  Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n 

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine. 

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

#Captive Prince #captive prince meta #damen x laurent #Laurent of Vere #Damianos of Akielos

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Three // Wanda Maximoff

chapter two | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter four

author’s note: i have nothing to say except enjoy!

Chewing on my bottom lip, I looked over the shelves at the different kinds of stationary the shop had to offer. I needed a new notebook and some ink since I'd ran low at home, so I decided to come into town to have a look.

A brown leather-bound notebook caught my eye and I picked it up, flicking through the pages. Sadly, they were too thin for my liking, so I replaced it and kept looking.

Moments like this were one of the few luxuries I had to myself, where my mother wasn't nattering in my ear about finding a husband and learning to do something useful other than writing, or where my brother wasn't overshadowing me in everything he did, making me feel even worse about myself. No, moments like this, I could just be.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

And there goes my moment.

Plastering a smile on my lips, I spun around and was surprised to see Wanda approaching me with an equally surprised expression on her face. She really was everywhere, wasn't she?

"Wanda, hello," I greeted as she stopped by my side. "It's good to see you."

She looked good, considering I hadn't seen her for a few days. Maybe once when she'd popped in to say hello to everybody before her date with my brother, but that was hardly a meeting. Now, she looked cheery, eyes sparkling with their usual excitement.

"You, too," she said softly, a smile creeping on her lips. Her eyes fell to my hands, where I was holding some ink. "Don't you have servants to do that for you?"

"Don't you have servants to do that for you?" I countered lightheartedly, eyes flickering to the vast amount of paintbrushes and paint in her arms.

She narrowed her eyes in a playful manner. "Touché."

Rolling my eyes in good nature, I asked, "So, what made you decide to go shopping?"

"I needed some new supplies," she quipped with an adorable smile, lifting her arms which were filled with said supplies.

"And you didn't think a basket would help?" I joked, before turning to grab a stray basket beside the shelves and helping her to put everything in it.

She chuckled, accepting my help, and answered, "Truthfully, I only came for the paint, but then I saw some new brushes I wanted to try, and then there were some new colours in stock and, well, before I knew it–"

"This happened," I finished for her with amusement, handing her the filled basket.

She took the basket from my hands and nodded. "Exactly. I would have sent my servant to get the paint, but last time I did, she came back with the wrong one."

"Oh, the scandal," I teased.

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and it was refreshing to see the shoe on the other foot. I guess I could see the fun in it now – no wonder she teased me often. Plus, she looked cute when she was caught off guard.

"What about you?" she countered, attempting to take the attention off her.

Content smile on my lips, I watched her. "What about me?"

She gave me an isn't it obvious? look. "I told you why I was here. What about you?"

I shrugged, looking back to the shelves. "I just needed some things... and I may or may not get excited when buying stationary."

Her melodious laughter filled the air. "Of course."

"I just don't know which to get," I told her, motioning to the notebooks. "There's so many options!"

She hummed with amusement, stepping by my side closely and reaching out to get a better look. I was acutely aware of her shoulder pressed to mine and tried to stop thinking about it, but obviously, once I told myself to stop thinking about it, it was all I could think about.

"How about this one?" she suggested, picking up a notebook wrapped in a burgundy-coloured sleeve. She was probably biased since it was her favourite colour.

I took it from her grasp as she held it towards me, feeling tingles at the tips of my fingers when they grazed her hand. God, I needed to get a grip.

Before I could look at the notebook properly, I noticed a smudge on her hand, subconsciously grabbing it before she pulled away. Flipping it over so I could see her palm, I saw several smudges of colour and stared with confusion.

"Paint," she explained, mildly embarrassed as she pulled away. "The stuff goes everywhere."

I hid a smile, finding it cute, before looking to the notebook again.

"I like it, but now to see the pages," I said, flipping through them to see if they were thick enough. I hated getting a notebook with flimsy pages that ink seeped through.

"Are they to your liking, your majesty?" she teased, and I looked up to see her tilting her head and watching me through her eyelashes.

"Yes, they are actually," I retorted with a childish glare, before closing it. "Thanks."

She half-suppressed a laugh. "Good. Let's hope it gives you some... vdokhnoveniye."

She paused, scrunching her nose in thought, probably searching for the right word in English. I was too distracted by how enchanting she looked when she did that to care about her struggle to find the word.

"Vdokhnoveniye is like inspiration," she explained, eyes looking back to me after staring up in thought, "but it's something better. It's from the word vdykhat', meaning to breathe."

"So, you want me to get a good breath from this?" I asked, quirking a brow with bemusement.

"No! No." She laughed, running a hand through her curls. "It's like... when you get inspired by something so quickly, as quickly as it takes to take in a breath. Never mind, it's stupid."

"It's not," I reassured her with an appreciative look. "I get it. Thanks. I like that. Russian is definitely a fascinating language."

She seemed glad that I made sense of her ramblings and I smiled, realising there was much more to Wanda than her ability to make me a stumbling mess.

"Have you got everything?" I asked her, glancing to her basket, before quickly adding, "What am I saying? Of course you've got everything. Practically half the store is in there."

She shoved me gently. "Not nice. But yes, I have everything."

I refrained from chuckling at her dismay before leading the way to the till so we could pay. As we took turns, the cashier made conversation with both of us. I knew of him because I'd been here enough times to make a friend, but I was surprised to see Wanda was the same. I was certain I'd never seen her here before. And I'd been here a lot.

When we finished paying, we began to head outside and I decided to speak my thoughts.

"You know, it's strange to think that we've both been coming here for a while and yet we've never crossed paths," I noted. "I mean, unless we have and just didn't know who each other were then."

She shook her head casually. "Oh, no, we haven't crossed paths. I'd definitely remember a pretty face like yours."

I paused, bewildered at her words as they took time to sink in. She seemed to notice as she laughed, holding the door to the shop open for me. I walked outside and she followed after me, eyes glancing at me satisfactorily.

"So, er, what are you doing now?" I changed the subject, recovering from my momentary shock.

She settled with a smile as she answered, "I'm in the middle of adding some finishing touches to a painting I'm working on. I'll probably head back to finish it."

"Ah, the paintings that you talk about but I've never seen," I joked, relaxing under her stare. "I'm starting to believe you're lying to me, love."

She rolled her eyes, though her smile widened, revealing a dimple by the corner of her mouth. "I'm not... You can come with me if you'd like. I don't mind showing you." When her eyes met mine, she quickly added, "If you're not busy, that is."

Humour disappearing, I nodded with surprise. "Sure. I'd love to."

And that wasn't a lie. I was curious to see the Sokovian's work since she seemed to enjoy talking about art so much. Plus, I could appreciate some good art when I needed to and I wondered if hers would fit the bill.

Or at least that's what I told myself when she flashed her dazzling smile my way, making my heart explode with adoration.

—

Just like me, Wanda didn't have a dedicated place to work from because her parents didn't deem her passion an appropriate hobby for a young woman in today's day and age. So, just like I did, she worked in her room and made the most of the space she had.

As soon as we took a step inside, I was amazed by how much stuff there was. Of course there was the expected – a bed, an ottoman, a wardrobe and a desk – but it was as if that was all secondary furniture to the main focus.

Closest to the giant window on the opposite end of the room were several canvases being supported by easels, some painted and some blank. Papers with sketches of literally anything you can think of were taped to the walls, some scattered along the floor and some scrunched up entirely, missing the bin.

Her desk was filled with jars of paintbrushes, oils, pencils, chalk and any other art supply I'd probably never heard nor seen of before. The place was messy, but not dirty. Her bed was made, the sheets as crisp as could be, her books were lined up neatly, her paintbrushes all had a perfect spot. It was clean, but it was a giant mess, and it was the most beautiful mess I'd ever seen. I refused to believe art was merely a hobby for her when it seemed like her room was dedicated to it.

"This is your room?" I asked with disbelief, eyebrows raised.

Clearly mistaking my amazement for critique, she dumped her newly purchased art supplies on her bed before rushing to pick up some loose papers and canvases from the floor.

"Yes," she squeaked, attempting to kick some papers under her bed as she straightened up sheepishly. "Sorry for the mess. Believe it or not, it does follow a system."

I laughed wholeheartedly, heading further into the space to where her makeshift studio was. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. This place is amazing."

She snickered, glancing around at everything. "You think? I'd love something more – a real studio – but of course, women aren't supposed to have hobbies apart from pleasing their husband and hosting dinners every other week."

The last part she said with a hint of bitterness, clearly repeating what she'd been told before, no doubt by her parents. I was surprised by her vulgarity, but I wasn't in disagreement. She was absolutely right and it was such a shame because women were so much more than their husband. Too bad society would never see that.

"My father only allows me this... sanctuary," she finished with a sigh, before her hand rested on her desk. "It's not much, but at least it's mine."

"Well, I love it," I told her honestly, making her smile as she looked my way. "Can I look around?"

She waved her hand. "Of course. Nothing's off limits,  but do be generous. My ego is easily bruised."

I chuckled at her joke and she flashed me another smile before grabbing her neglected art supplies. As I helped myself to looking around at her work, I heard her rustling around behind me and glanced her way, seeing her making herself comfortable on a stool before a particular canvas. I presumed it was the piece she was working on that she mentioned earlier and got back to my browsing.

She was extremely talented, not that I had any doubts to be honest. There were her bigger pieces, the extremely detailed ones, that she'd painted of grassy landscapes. Some were green full trees with falling leaves, some were cherry blossom trees with pink blossoms floating in the air, some were buildings overgrown with mother nature. I recognised none of them, but they transported me elsewhere like a nostalgic reminder of being a kid and playing in the garden with my mum. Even now, I helped her do the gardenening, but I'd never really appreciated my surroundings until I saw Wanda's work.

And those were just the huge pieces. She'd done sketches that were taped to the wall, to her desk, floating out of sketchbooks. Some were plans for bigger pieces, others were daily observations, all of her surroundings. She didn't draw people, I noticed, it was mainly scenery. But it was all stunning and it brought a smile to my lips as I imagined her producing all of this in her own little sanctuary, as she called it.

"You've been quiet for too long," she called out jokingly, after a while of me perusing her sketchbooks.

I looked up from my seat at her desk, seeing her focused on her painting, but an amused smile ghosted her lips. The sunlight from the window was hitting her perfectly at the moment, and even from where I was sat, I could see the flecks of gold shimmering in her eyes, matching the auburn streaks in her hair. The breath got knocked out of me momentarily, and I almost forgot that she'd said something.

Clearing my throat, I returned her smile. "I'm admiring your work, Wanda. You're bloody talented."

She lowered her paintbrush and gave me an incredulous look. "Tell me what you really think, Y/N."

I grinned, laughing slightly. "I am! I genuinely think this is amazing."

She pressed her lips together, still reluctant to believe me, but she nodded gratefully and returned her attention to her painting. I didn't fail to notice the pink spreading across her cheeks at the compliment, and my heart fluttered at the sight.

"Would you ever sell any of these?" I asked her, standing up and approaching her side to see what she was working on.

I noticed the addition of stray paint that had made its way to her hands and forearms and it made me smile. I don't even think she realised it was there.

She scrunched her nose up at the idea. "I've given some away to family friends because my parents made me. But no, I don't think I'd sell them." Something seemed to make her snort with amusement, then she said, "Nobody would buy them anyway."

I frowned as she sighed, her shoulders sagging at the thought. It was horrible to admit, but she was right. Female authors – questionable, but sure, they existed. Female painters? Let's just say that it was easier to be successful if you worked under a pseudonym and pretended to be a man. Which she clearly wouldn't do, or at least her parents wouldn't allow her to do. Sadly, Wanda Maximoff was in the wrong lifetime.

Hoping to cheer her up, I stood by her side and admired the strokes she made with her paintbrush. "If it's any consolation, if we were in another lifetime where I actually made money, I'd buy them."

She glanced at me, partially disbelieving my words, partially intrigued. "Seriously?"

I nodded with certainty, eyes flickering between hers and her painting. "Seriously. All of them. I'd buy every single one."

She looked away, swallowing hard, then a soft, barely noticeable smile appeared on her lips, and I was glad I'd said the right thing.

Focusing my attention on the painting again, I saw it was a stunning view of a stream, and the way she'd painted it made it seem like it was flowing off the canvas. Her last minute touches, adding white flecks of oil paint on the water, managed to bring the piece to life without any effort. I was amazed at how someone could make nothing turn into something so easily.

"Where is this?" I asked curiously, not recognising the scene, and also wondering where she'd gone for the inspiration since we lived in a busy town that didn't have water sources nearby.

She pointed to her head with the end of her paintbrush. "Up here."

"You made this up?" I asked, surprised for the millionth time since arriving.

"Uh-huh." She tilted her head to study the piece, whilst saying, "I usually paint what's in the garden. Sometimes what I see in town is good, too. But I really wanted to paint water, and apart from the constant rain we get, there is none. So, I made it up."

I was impressed at her ability to make up something like this, but also slightly confused. "Why don't you just visit Blackpool? There's a beach – water, sand, pier, everything. And it's not too far from here. You could make it a day trip."

She shrugged, distracting herself with dipping her brush on her palette. "I don't want to go by myself."

I probably should have recommended she visit with my brother. You know, the man she was engaged to? But my eagerness got the better of me, and I ended up saying, "Maybe we could go together. If you want."

She looked up, a slow smile forming on her lips. "I'd like that."

I mirrored her expression, nodding slightly. "Great. I'm sure we can arrange something. Promise."

She held my gaze for a second longer, saying, "I'll hold you to that, milaya," before looking back to her painting.

"What does that mean?" I asked suddenly, my mind clearly not controlling my words today. "You keep calling me it."

She chuckled, leaning forward to get a closer look at her work with her paintbrush. "Darling."

"Pardon?"

She shook her head, glancing at me with amusement. "No, Y/N. It means darling."

I swallowed awkwardly, certain my cheeks were as red as they felt warm. I wasn't sure what was more embarrassing – that I'd responded to her calling me darling when she hadn't, or that she'd been calling it me this whole time without me knowing. "Oh."

"Pull up a stool," she changed the subject, though my mind was still racing at her revelation. Had she called Y/B/N that? I couldn't recall. "I'll show you how to paint a little if you want."

Dazed, I did as she said whilst chewing on my lip with thought. She watched me, grinning from ear to ear, but said nothing. Was it normal for my heart to flip-flop in my chest like it was? I couldn't tell anymore. And when she grabbed my hand without saying anything, my hand felt like it was on fire with her touch.

The tip of her paintbrush swiped against my inner palm, her soft fingertips holding it up. Every area that her finger touched was burning, sending tingles up my arm and leaving me paralysed. Good thing I was sat down.

"There," she said like it was obvious. "Now you're an artist."

Blue eyes met mine excitedly and I gave her a small smile in return, hoping that these strange thoughts and reactions would disappear soon enough. Because this was definitely not appropriate.

—

My dreams were never anything worthwhile.

For someone who had a creative mind and could string sentences together to create a story I was proud of, my subconscious was the opposite. It was dry and boring and I rarely remembered my dreams unless they were scary enough to wake me up. But this time, this was a dream I was certain I'd never forget...

As with all dreams, I was unable to control what was happening. I was myself, observing from a first person point of view like it was real, but I had no control over my words or actions. Everything was predetermined, like a script I was forced to follow.

So, in this particular dream, I was sat in the back of a carriage, wearing a dress that was fancier than my usual taste. One hand was clutching my purse and the other was in someone else's hand, the person playing with my fingers soothingly.

"We're stopping now. Are you ready?"

It was Wanda. I had no idea why she was in my dream, or why she was leaning into my side comfortably, or why she was playing with my fingers like she did it all the time. I just knew that it shouldn't have been happening.

"Yeah, c'mon," I said with a smile, following my dream's script.

I intertwined our fingers and raised them to my lips, pressing a kiss to her palm. She smiled with adoration and allowed me to lead her out the carriage quickly. We were at the theatre and the first thing I thought was that my mind was creating a date similar to the one she shared with my brother. Oh, God, this wasn't good.

"Promise you've got the tickets?" she asked as we walked inside, hand in hand.

In my dream, nobody around us seemed to care that we were together, that we were two women showing affection and simply existing in a way more than friends. As wrong as I knew it was to dream of my soon-to-be sister-in-law like this, my mind was at peace, knowing I could be myself in my dream state. I didn't have to hide my identity and it was liberating.

"No, I decided to leave them at home," I answered her sarcastically, smiling.

She squeezed my hand and tugged me close, stopping me from walking any further. Her face scrunched together with a feigned annoyance.

"You don't need to be mean," she mumbled, eyes peering into mine, and my heart raced at the contact of her body pressed to mine.

Grinning, I pressed a kiss to her nose. "I've got them right here, love. Now let's go before we're late."

The dream didn't have a clear transformation. I just knew that one second I was staring at Wanda and the next I was sat beside her in the theatre, waiting for the lights to go down.

"Here," I said, passing her the programme for the show that was in my hand.

When I looked down at it, I was surprised to see a wedding ring on my left hand. Huh.

The lights dimmed when Wanda looked my way, green eyes bright in the dark. She shrugged, grabbing the programme and tossing it over her shoulder to the (thankfully) empty seat next to her.

"Looks like I missed my chance," she said, referring to the lack of light.

I opened my mouth to counter her words, but she didn't give me chance to as she pressed her lips to mine, hand raising to hold the back of my neck and pull me closer. Real me was freaking out, wondering why the hell I was allowing myself to have such thoughts about the girl who was going to marry my brother. And dream me was melting into her touch, shivering at her warmth and the way she began to suck my bottom lip.

"Wanda," I breathed out, pulling away breathlessly, but she continued to hold me close with a stifled grin.

"Isn't that why we got these tickets?" she said jokingly, eyes meeting mine.

My heart raced as she did, the simplest of glances making me weak in the knees. I was beginning to learn that her eyes were irresistibly beautiful.

"Right," I found my words, smiling in agreement as my eyes flickered to her lips.

They were painted red tonight, slightly smudged from the abrupt kiss she gave me, and I could only imagine the state of my own lips.

"We can watch the play now," she whispered, and I just about managed to tear my gaze from her lips to see the entertained look in her eyes.

I hummed in response, not trusting myself to say something comprehensible. Her lips curved into a smile and she linked our arms before settling into her seat, head leaning on my shoulder. I leaned mine on top, kissing the top of her head gently before also getting comfortable.

When I woke up, I didn't remember the rest of the dream, or know if there was a rest of the dream. I opened my eyes and found myself laying in my bed alone, tired and in the dark. It was still nighttime and my mind was foggy with fatigue. It took a moment for me to remember what I'd just dreamed. And then it hit me.

I liked my brother's fiancé.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen imagine #elizabeth olsen #marvel #marvel imagine #mcu

[clairecrive]

“Voodoo doll” - Billy russo x reader

A/n: and here’s another one for Billy. I got the idea from a request I got for another character and I thought it perfectly fit Billy. As if Ben Barnes could ever be considered anything but beautiful, *scoff* please.

Warnings: a bit angsty, fluff though, jigsaw!billy, season 2 billy

Prompts(loosely): “Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so…” 

(let me know if you want to be tagged to any of my writings)

“Oh, hi you’re up.” You let yourself inside Billy’s hospital room smiling when you saw that the back of his bed was pushed up. He was sitting instead of lying down and that usually meant that he was awake. 

“How are you feeling today? The nurse outside told me that she gave you something for the pain but that everything is healing nicely.” Billy recovery looked like it was going to be long but after the impossibly long surgery you were just happy to see him alive and breathing. He didn’t look like he shared your optimism though. Granted, he was bound on a hospital bed, his body probably ached him all over and above all, his face was completely covered in bandages. It was the part that had taken most of the hits and Billy was one lucky bastard to even be in a hospital bed instead of being underground. That’s what the doctors had told you, at least.

Still, you could see how hard it was for him to see this whole situation in a positive way. It was taking its toll on him and you knew that no matter how many bruises and broken bones he had, his psychological health was the one which was in the worst shape.

You tried to offer him all the support you could. Sometimes that meant cheering him up with jokes and terrible puns, others simply required you to be next to him. 

Seems like it was one of those days because Billy stayed silent.

“Billy?” you tried again, setting your bag on the ground and taking your usual place by the side of his bed.

“What are you doing here, y/n?” His voice was hoarse from how little he used it these days but hadn’t lost that gruff edge that you loved so much.

“Visiting his majesty of course.”

“You shouldn’t be here. It’s a waste of time anyway.”

“Waiting for the bus for 20 minutes before they tell you that the run has been cancelled, now that is what I call a waste of time.” You complained recalling what had happened that morning.

Since you had entered his room, Billy hadn’t moved. Not that he could manage any big movement given the restraints they had put on him but at least he could move his head. It had been laying on his pillow up until now. He lifted it to try and look you into your eyes.

“I’m not your Billy anymore.”

“Why? Has anyone made their claim on you? Is that what this awful smell is? Your new playmate’s piss?”

Billy made a noise, it sounded a halfway between a laugh or a sob but since his head was covered in bandages, you couldn’t really tell. You hoped for the first, Billy had always loved your sense of humour- he had told you it was one of the reasons why he had noticed you- even if it consisted of terrible jokes. You thought they were hilarious, Billy thought you were adorable. Whatever.

“Listen, I can see how hard you’re taking this whole reversed beauty and the beast plot. But just so you know, I’m willing to let my facial hair grow if that makes you feel like a princess again.” You added on a more serious note, kinda, hoping to convince him that his face wasn’t the only thing you loved about him.

This time, the sound that left him was most definitely a sob. Startled, you didn’t know what to do. 

Could he even cry? Wouldn’t it mess up with his bandages? Why was he crying though? 

Still unsure on how to go about this, you reached for one of his bound hands only to see that it was tightly close in a fist. Your hand wrapped around his anyway, hoping that this small contact could soothe him in some way. 

Fuck, you must be really worse at this than you thought. You were trying to make him laugh and here he was crying.

“Billy?” you tried again in a whisper. 

All jokes aside, something must have happened this morning to make him feel this on edge. Had someone been rude to him? Well, he was a wanted person of course people weren’t going to respond to him like they did before. Billy couldn’t even count on his charm and good looks and you knew how good he was at using them to get what he wanted. 

Wait, could that be the problem? 

You thought about the best way to word the question when Billy spoke again, saving you from the embarrassment.

“I don’t think this is going to work.” Uh, what? Oh no no, he doesn’t get to do that.

“I agree, I’m not a fan of facial hair myself. We could buy you a tiara though. That is definitely going to do the trick.” Completely refusing to acknowledge his words, you kept going along with your previous joke.

“I’m serious y/n.” He insisted, his voice straightening to highlight his intent but still to no avail. Still clueless to it, he had laid on a silver platter your next pun.

“I thought your name was Billy, not Sirius. Wicked name though.” His hand tensed in your hold and you knew that he was getting angry.

“Would you stop joking around for one second? I’m trying to tell you that you shouldn’t waste your time around me.” His voice grew rougher, not exactly the high and strict tone he used to use at Anvil, but you could see he had strained his vocal cord to even attempt a stern voice.

 “I’m going to look like a butchered voodoo doll, forget the beast.” He added in a quieter voice. A confession laced with guilt.

“Oh Billy, don’t say that. You’re so much more than your looks, you know that. Besides, I’m sure you’re still going to be the one with the dashing looks of the relationship.” Your voice came out all wobbly and squeaky but you couldn’t help it, hearing Billy’s words, a far cry from the man he used to be made you emotional. You wanted nothing more than to help him but you didn’t know how. And here he was, trying to push you away.

“There’s no relationship, y/n.”

“I know that you’ve taken a big hit on your head, the doctor told me about your memory loss. It’s okay, they told me that some things are going to come back and you remembered my name when you woke up so that’s a good sign.”

Billy contemplated the idea of making up a story about him not remembering about you and come up with someway for how he knew you name when he first saw you after the incident but even though he wanted you to see his point, he couldn’t do that to you. 

He did remember you and he knew that the first part of your relationship had been based on lies. About his work, about his past, about his whereabouts when you asked him where he was going to late at night. 

He also remembered how that almost had cost him your relationship entirely.

Billy wasn’t one to make promises but he had made one to you. To at least try to be open and honest with you. There were still things that Billy didn’t talk to you about but this time around, instead of coming up with an excuse, he openly said that he couldn’t tell where or what he was doing . That, in the long run, had gained your trust back. You knew it was for your safety and that every time he told you you couldn’t know something, it was work-related.

And despite the fact that Billy was trying to self sabotage himself and your relationship, there was a part of him that didn’t want to see you go.

Yes, he still thought that you deserved more. Not only for his looks but for the things he knew he had done but couldn’t remember. If half the things he was accused of were true, then that didn’t make him a good person, did it?

“I do remember you. There is nothing more vibrant in my mind than my time with you. That’s not the problem.”

“Then I wholeheartedly refuse your attempt at breaking up. You can say whatever you want but I assure you it isn’t going to work.”

“I wish I could say that I did not remember you being this stubborn but we both know it would be a lie.”

“Oh, honey we both know that you enjoy it quite a bit when you want to.” You wriggled your eyebrows, trying and completely failing at making a suggestive face. You were successful, however, in making him laugh.

“Fuck don’t do that y/n, I can’t laugh.” he groaned, his head resting back on his bed.

“Well that is going to be a problem, ‘cause all I’m good at is being a huge cosmic joke.” You smiled at him, happy that he was finally done with all that nonsense he had just tried to pull. Instead, you dived into your back to show him what you had brought him.

It was his favorite comic book.

Apparently, a successful CEO of a security firm had an extensive collection of comic books which was also his most priced possession. The first time he had come around after the surgery, he had asked about them. He was worried that in searching his place for clues and whatnot the police had ruined it or something. You couldn’t see his face but the long sigh he let out when you told him that you had taken care of it personally looked a lot like relief.

What were hundreds of expensive tailored suits in comparison?

You started reading one of his favorite ones, including a very poor but very engaging representation of every sound of action in the story which made Billy smile under all those bandages. He felt like the luckiest voodoo doll in the world.

#billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo imagines #billy russo x you #billy russo x reader #billy russo angst #billy russo fluff #marvel the punisher #the punisher #the punisher imagines #ben barnes #ben barnes imagines #ben barnes x reader

[duskcowboy]

Rebuttals to recent Anti claims 🧐

Every so often I’m tempted to look at the anti tags for Elriel and Elain in an attempt to understand different perspectives, and each time I do, I’m still unconvinced to switch sides to any other ship. Here are some of the recent points made (I will be paraphrasing), and my thoughts on them:

1. There was a post making fun of the Sleeping Beauty theory for Elriel saying that SJM said she doesn’t like Sleeping Beauty because it’s an “awful represent women” and won’t even let her son watch the movie.

This one just has me a little confused because I tried to find where this was said and couldn’t find it, so if anyone has the link, could you send it my way? Funnily enough, in my search for this claim, I actually came across a tweet from SJM where she lists Sleeping Beauty among her favorite ballets so there’s that lol. But even if it is true, and she stated she believes it’s a bad representation of women, wouldn’t that be a form of motivation to retell the story in order to make changes and get rid any of the aspects in the original that she dislikes? Example being, if it’s the “maiden in need of rescuing” she doesn’t like, then the theory that it’ll be Elain who rescues Az (not the other way around), would then change it to be something that one envisions as a positive representation of strong women. But that’s just me brainstorming on little info 🤷🏽‍♀️

2. If we care about Az and he has such a strong desire to have a mate and be loved by someone who is “meant for him,” why wouldn’t we want that for him? And even with the two-mates theory, wouldn’t it be painful for Elain, Az, and Lucien to have another mate in the picture?

Firstly, of course we care about Az. But he’s not a child. He’s hundreds of years old and has already experienced different types of heartbreak. I think he can handle some conflict to obtain what he wants, which as of the most current book, is Elain. I see the potential love between the two of them as a very POWERFUL love. It would have to be in order to refuse a mating bond and choose someone who is not their mate. To me, this sends Azriel the message that he means more to Elain than a mating bond. Meaning, instead of reinforcing his self-deprecating belief that he needs a mate to be loved, wouldn’t it be great to see that turn into “she chooses me for ME”? If he had a mate, say if that’s Gwyn, I could end up supporting it if executed well, but I also think that Azriel’s fixation on the cauldron being wrong and wanting a mate so bad is somewhat bad for his own mental state, and would love to see that mindset change by having someone who truly chooses him without a bond being the reason behind it. To touch on the second part of the post’s claim, I do not necessarily support the two-mates theory or “true mates” theory because I don’t think there’s been sufficient evidence for me to back those wholeheartedly. And given my desire to see a love-in-spite-of-a-mating-bond, I wouldn’t need either of these theories to come true for me to continue supporting Elriel 💘

3. Azriel is self-conscious of his hands around Elain, but not does not mention it around Gwyn which means Elain makes him uncomfortable whereas Gwyn doesn’t.

Okay, this one is based on one’s interpretation of the text so I won’t say that this comment is necessarily incorrect. However, I did have a completely different interpretation of it. Please think back on a time when you had a crush or were in love with someone one-sidedly (or the reciprocation was unknown/unsure of). Were you not ever self-conscious? I know I’ve been NUMEROUS times. Conscious of what my hair looks like, covering things with makeup, not wanting to take my clothes off with the lights on for the first time. It’s natural. I agree that in a developed relationship, I would hope one wouldn’t worry about things like that all the time, but even still, it’s normal to still have self-image issues even in a happy relationship. Elain calls Az’s scars “beautiful” and you want to tell me she’d let him continue to have these hateful thoughts about himself if they were together?? No. Quite the opposite. Therefore I could argue this observation is actually in favor of Elriel. Also - in the bonus POV, Az makes several statements alluding to his attempts to avoid having to speak with Gwyn or engage in conversation. That seems more like being “uncomfortable” around someone to me, but even still, I don’t even think that’s a big “tell” of his feeling toward her since Az is an introvert and typically doesn’t engage in long conversations in general. However, that said, who do we know he is more willing to give explanations to or engage in conversations?? Mor & ELAIN. His two listed LI’s.

4. The “forbidden love” trope bothers them because it would be at Lucien’s expense when he, himself, truly understands what it means to have a forbidden love. (This post wasn’t necessarily anti-elriel, but some the comments certainly were. I’m coupling this also with a post that claims that SJM is doing Lucien wrong and he deserves happiness with a mate.

I must start this one off by reminding everyone of a few things: 1) bonds are rare; therefore, there are plenty of other Fae who are married/in love in this realm that are NOT mates. It is possible for characters to be happy without a mate. 2) Bonds are not a reflection of happiness as a couple. Take Rhys’s parents for example, they were not necessarily in love, they had mutual benefits in being together (his mother didn’t get her wings clipped, his dad would be able to have strong children). Which brings me to 3) the mating bond is about creating strong offspring, it’s a natural occurrence, and still has many unknowns surrounding it. Whew. Okay. So moving on to the claims above - The “forbidden-ness” of the Elriel ship, to me, has nothing to do with Lucien himself. I love Lucien and would love to see his happy ending (making amends with Tamlin and possibly finding love with Vassa or just healing in general with his new trio of friends). The forbidden love stems from the fact that Elain has a mating bond in general, coupled with Rhys’s order for Az to stay away from her. In the bonus chapter, we read about stolen glances, secret brushes of their hands, and an almost-kiss that “only the Mother would witness”. If that doesn’t scream forbidden/secret love trope, idk what does. So again, nothing to do with Lucien or his character. If anything, I think Lucien will be someone who understands Elain’s wish to CHOOSE her love. He had a forbidden love himself which ended tragically, but I don’t think he would take it back. Just as Rhys was going to let Feyre marry Tamlin if that’s who she truly loved, I think Lucien would be empathetic and potentially break the bond with Elain so she can be happy. Bittersweet, but I don’t think that would rob him of his own potential happiness.

5. Az’s thoughts in the POV towards Elain make them uncomfortable (the sexual thoughts and his claim of “deserving” Elain, etc)

So first, his sexual thoughts making them uncomfortable surprises me considering the contents of ACOSF, and would hope that they keep the same energy across the board (and maybe spicy books aren’t for them). SJM has definitively stated that Az is a FREAK in bed. So I was not surprised at all at his thoughts. If anything, the sexual nature of his thoughts would worry me if it were Gwynriel as endgame. I won’t say too much on this because it’s not my story and I would prefer projecting others’ voices on this topic, but with the known adult genre of these spin-off books, I would be somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of expecting Gwyn to take part in a relationship that is sexual in nature in any way. If Gwynriel ended up endgame, I’d want some significant development on her survival journey, because she deserves that not to be rushed. As for the comments he made to Rhys, he made them in anger, in jealousy. He’s obviously PENT UP lol. And if it were only of a sexual nature he could very well go find any other willing partner, but no, he only wants Elain as of that moment. His comments of the cauldron being wrong, and obvious jealousy towards his brothers is, again, NATURAL. Who wouldn’t be jealous? He loves her, willing to die for her, would beg to just taste her, and can’t fathom how he isn’t allowed to be with her. Why she’s basically promised to another. If I was in that situation, I’d be driven mad with frustration and sadness too. I don’t think it’s toxic, I personally see it as passionate.

6. They claimed that since SJM has made separate statements that she wants to tell Az’s story and also that Elain will have her own book, it means these two things can’t exist within the same book because MC+MC is not possible. They claim that ACOSF was only Nesta’s story, and Cassian was just a supporting love interest.

To that, I have to say we definitely read ACOSF differently, because I definitely obtained insight into Cassian’s own journey. Not just in his relationship with Nesta, but specifically his journey of learning to be more politically minded and not just the commander of an army. He continuously made slip-ups learning how to be diplomatic, especially in regards to their alliance with Eris, and by the end it, I felt like he’d made significant improvement. So it is very possible for Az to have his own “journey” alongside Elain as the MC, they are not mutually exclusive.

7. Last one & this one’s verbatim: “Every time someone says Azriel doesn’t love Gwyn....yes. That’s the point. I would like to see them fall in love ON PAGE in a BOOK that is THEIR’S. I wanna see the whole romance start to finish, idk what’s so hard to understand about that.”

Completely understandable to have your own preference on what kind of relationship you like to read about or want for two characters, but this post fails to acknowledge that in order for Az x Gwyn to happen, the Elain x Azriel tension would need to be resolved. Gwyn would need to be in a place in her life in which she’d be comfortable and open to having that kind of relationship, and imo that takes a lot of time, and by the end of ACOSF, she’s still undecided on if she’ll even leave the library for Nessian’s ceremony. A friend of Az? A mentor/mentee relationship? Sure. Could definitely happen with where we left off. But a romantic one? Would need A LOT to happen in one book. Even if it was Elucien in the next book, within which Elain x Az will resolve, and Az x Gwyn happens in the book after (or vice versa), once again, Elriel would need to resolve somehow, completely shutting that door, for Elain to be with Lucien realistically for readers. And personally, I can’t imagine them going from her “shrinking into herself” in his presence to them having a full blown romantic relationship & everything that entails in the adult genre.

If you made it to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading! 💖 No matter where you stand in regards to each character or the different ships, I hope this was an interesting take on some of the ongoing discussions. Obviously I’m bored and have a lot of time on my hands 😅 so I’d be more than willing to discuss any of these points further or other topics if anyone would like! (Please just stay respectful). It’ll fill the void I have with my ACOTAR hangover until we finally get more details on the next book!

Have a great day :)

#elriel #elain #pro elain #elain archeron #azriel #not anti canon gwyn just anti fanon gwyn lol #acotar #acosf #lucien vanserra #gwyn berdara #booklr

[kiribakuhappiness]

Some notes for a KiriBaku AU that I would love to write one day but probably won’t ever find the time to, so here’s the barebones outline for it at least because I thought it was a fun idea! :,D

Lady & the Tramp

Gentleman and the Tramp

- Eijirou has always lived a comfortable lifestyle. He’s always had food in his belly and a roof over his head and a fireplace to huddle around during cold bitter nights. His parents’ marriage was filled with love and their house was filled with warmth and, with a new baby sister on the way, things were looking pretty good for him.

- Katsuki hasn’t known such comfort since he was a young boy, when his mom was arrested for something he didn’t even know what cause he was too young to have coherent thoughts yet and his father cracked under the pressure of being a single parent to an explosively rebellious child. The streets weren’t ideal, but Katsuki grew up tougher than his old man and more intelligent than what was for his own good, and so he made the most of it.

- Eijirou’s close friends are Denki /a local artist/ and Sero /a general store clerk/ who regularly visit with him at his house.

- Katsuki would say that he doesn’t have friends but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t begrudgingly accept the friendship of an overly zealous newspaper boy by the name of Deku, who mentions to him one day how the wealthy Kirishima family is expecting another child.

- Katsuki comments that he doesn’t see how that could possibly be news to anyone, until later that day when he overhears a rather disturbing conversation about how someone is planning on kidnapping the baby for ransom.

- “A yuppy family like that’ll no doubt pay extra-”

- “double,”

- “triple!”

- Intrigued by all the commotion, Katsuki visits the Kirishima Mansion, eyeing the picturesque Japanese gardens with some underlying prejudice and the perfectly manicured yards with barely contained disgust. A real run-of-the-mill, too fancy for their own good establishment; Katsuki’s finding it hard to gather any sort of sympathy for them.

- While observing the manor in all its glory, Katsuki overhears Eijirou speaking with Denki and Sero about the new baby and how excited they all are for its arrival. Unable to help himself from chiming in with his own opinion, Katsuki comments how bringing another child into the world when there are already so many on the streets that need homes could be seen as the utmost snobby act of privilege shown by the upper class. A real kick in the groin to those struggling to make ends meet out in the real world.

- Denki and Sero are immediately put off by Katsuki’s cynicism and tell him to slink back to the grimy part of the city where he came from, but something about his speech gave Eijirou pause. He’s never met a man as bold and bitter as Katsuki, and the abrupt change in perspective is baffling to him.

- Katsuki holds his chin up high following an ominous warning to “keep that spoiled little brat with the silver spoon you’ll shove in its mouth under close supervision” before he finally takes his leave.

- Eijirou soon forgets this strange encounter, as a few months later his new sister is born. Eijirou takes on a lot of the responsibility - feeding and changing and wholeheartedly enthusiastic to learn the ins-and-outs of parenting. He’s seen the amount of stress the pregnancy had on his mother, and he wants to help, so he offers that they go on a vacation and leave the baby with him.

- Unwilling to leave their infant with their teen son, the Kirishima’s hire a nanny service to help with the upkeep. Eijirou knows it’s rude not to like someone based on prejudice, but he’s got an uneasy feeling about Himiko Toga. He can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. She’s fairly sweet upon first introductions and seems capable enough, but Eijirou can’t really figure out that look in her eyes whenever she’s holding his sister, like she’s thinking about darting out the door and taking off with her or something just as silly.

- That dumb street boy must have really gotten in his head.

- Reluctant to leave his sister in the care of a stranger, but knowing that Eijirou has errands to run and that letting a random sitter take his parent’s credit cards probably wouldn’t be a very smart idea, he takes the plunge and sets off into town for the day to gather supplies and puts Himiko in charge.

- As he’s leaving the grocer, he stumbles across Katsuki again, who is being forcefully removed from a convenient shop down the street while a portly man reprimands him for stealing, barking out a stern “get a fucking job, street rat!” before slamming the door in his face. Katsuki flips the guy off and continues on his way with hardly a pause, and Eijirou knows that he’ll merely move onto the next place as his sharp red eyes are already searching for a new target.

- “Are you hungry?” Eijirou asks as he falls into step beside him. “I could get you something from the grocer!”

- “Don’t need your damn handouts, rich boy,” Katsuki is adamant to inform him that he doesn’t need any help.

- Eijirou is perplexed by this refusal. He’d just watched him get thrown out of a store and yet Katsuki’s confidence could have fooled the most common of men into believing he were the descent of some royal lineage.

- Still, Eijirou is just as stubborn as he is, maybe even more so. He can’t help but let it eat away at him; his family has lots of money to spare, he wouldn’t mind paying for some groceries, honest! But Katsuki is shrewd and proud... and yet oh-so very easily manipulated.

- Eijirou tells him that he’s looking a little on the skinny side, so he must not be very good at living on his own. Katsuki takes immediate offense to this statement and takes Eijirou around town as though to prove him wrong, showing him parts of the city that Eijirou has only heard about in books, taking him through the slums where a large portion of people greet Katsuki like family despite the cold shoulder he gives them in return.

- It’s clear that he’s done a lot for the community, in his own hot-headed ways. Teaching the young girls living in poverty how to properly defend themselves, sharing scarce food with whoever he comes across who looks like they haven’t gotten enough for themselves, standing up against the rich and the wretched who like to look their noses down on them for their misfortunes.

- Even with his hardened exterior, Eijirou is surprised to find just how warm a presence Katsuki can be. How freeing it is to wander the city and live without order or rules or a clock to keep track of time. It’s a liberating sensation to skinny-dip in the harbor despite all of the signs telling them that they weren’t allowed to, and to sneak into the junk yard to sit in an old muscle car listening to music, and to visit some wholesome family kitchens where they were treated to an array of new samples after it’s revealed that the owners knew Katsuki when he was just a baby - long before his mother was arrested and his father became the shell of the man he used to be - and they’ve always made it a priority to feed him whenever he happened to meander unknowingly into their neighborhood.

- Eijirou sees his beloved city through a brand new lens, and he likes what he sees. Musutafu has never looked more enticing and adventurous than it had been that night.

- Katsuki offers to walk Eijirou back to his ‘big ole mansion’ under the guise of added protection. “You’ll be fuckin’ mugged if you walk around lookin’ like that at this hour.”

- Eijirou thinks they might kiss once they reach the gate to his property, but he can sense the tension settling in Katsuki’s shoulders as they get closer to the abode, and a bitterness starts to grow on his face that chills the warmth they had begun to grow between them. Eijirou decides to ask him about what he meant when he said that they should keep a close eye on his sister after her birth, but Katsuki is evasive and avoids his gaze and doesn’t give him a straight answer.

- He’s hiding something, he knows more than he’s letting on.

- Eijirou tells him that there’s going to be a party at the Kirishima Mansion that weekend to celebrate the birth of his sister, and invites him to come for the food.

- Katsuki tells him not to hold his breath and leaves without another look back.

- Eijirou worries that he might have upset him somehow and goes back into town a few days later to try and find him, but even the family kitchen comments that they haven’t seen him around lately. He begins to think the worst until he meets Camie and Shouto, two teens from equally wealthy families who visit the Kirishima Mansion with their parents on the day of the party to meet the baby.

- As it turns out, both Camie and Shouto know Katsuki from school. Apparently, the Bakugous used to be pretty well-known and were fairly respected in the fashion industry before his mother’s very public meltdown and the destruction of the Bakugou legacy.

- Shouto explains how he used to attend lessons with Katsuki at the university, studying under their apprenticeship program, and how he has always had a raging temper, but that his dedication to his studies and resilience in his training were both very admirable traits. He’d dare even go as far to say that they were friends, at one point in time.

- Camie’s intel, on the other hand, is far more risqué and full of gossip.

- She tells Eijirou about how Katsuki was “a lone wolf who couldn’t tell you the definition of the word lonely,” hinting at a promiscuous past filled with midnight escapades of sneaking off campus to drink and roam around the city with whoever had fallen head-over-heels for his aloof charisma that month. She describes how he draws people in with the promise of mystery, and leaves them behind when his true aggressive nature is revealed after any amount of prolonged exposure.

- She should know, of course. She’s been there and done that before.

- ‘you can never tell when he’ll show up’ / ‘he gives you plenty of trouble’ / ‘I guess he’s just a no count pup’ / ‘but I wish that he were double’

- The overwhelming consensus is that Katsuki may have had a bright future at one point but, as Shouto comments, “Some are just luckier than others, and Bakugou’s luck ran out long ago.”

- Camie mentions Shouto’s older brother who went down a similar path, and Shouto’s only response to that is, “You can’t really save someone who doesn’t want to be saved...”

- As the party winds down and the guests start to leave, Eijirou can’t help but think about Katsuki. He’s a little put off to know that the day they had spent together in the city probably wasn’t the only round-trip adventure that Katsuki has gone on. He doesn’t even want to know how many others there have been, and he feels somewhat foolish for thinking that there was anything more between them than that.

- That night after all the guests are gone, Katsuki shows up in the back gardens.

- Eijirou doesn’t understand why he waited so long, and Katsuki explains how ‘those people’ wouldn’t want him there anyway and that it’s for the best. Eijirou is still a little jaded about everything he had learned from Shouto and Camie, and he tells Katsuki that he doesn’t have the time to be messing around with guys who don’t take him seriously and who don’t know how to take responsibility for themselves.

- Katsuki looks like he wants to say something, but instead he ends up leaving in a furious huff, and Eijirou believes that it’s the last time he’ll probably ever see him. He tries to remember Katsuki’s earlier words.

- It’s for the best.

- Even though it doesn’t really feel like it is.

- Unable to sleep in the middle of the night, Eijirou goes to check on his sister in her crib only to find that Himiko has invited two men over to the mansion; Dabi and Tomura. Eijirou catches them red-handed in the parlor as they’re attempting to steal valuable family heirlooms and making a plan to kidnap the baby for ransom later.

- Eijirou fights with everything he has in him to stop them, but it’s three against one and he never really stood a chance. Himiko disappears upstairs to grab the baby while Dabi and Tomura deal with Eijirou, brandishing knives without any intentions of holding back.

- Katsuki arrives after breaking in through the kitchen, having kept tabs on the growing rumors around the city that a group of assholes were planning on kidnapping the baby girl, and he helps Eijirou fight off Dabi and Tomura, who escape into the night with Himiko when it’s obvious that their attempt has failed.

- The police arrive on the scene shortly after, and it’s Katsuki who takes the hit in the fallout of everything, arrested for petty theft and breaking & entering despite Eijirou’s adamant arguing against it.

- The police aren’t interested in hearing his side of the story, though.

- One act of kindness doesn’t expunge a man of several years worth of crime.

- Katsuki is taken into custody and shipped off to the station, and Eijirou is left behind to clean up the mess and tend to his sister.

- When his parents fly back into the city the next morning following the news of the attempted kidnapping, Eijirou recounts the events of the past week to them, and shortly after their arrival from the airport they go to the station together to pay off Katsuki’s bail.

- Katsuki is resistant at first, unfamiliar with this type of treatment and reluctant to accept it, but Eijirou tells him how grateful he is that he had been there that night, and believes that everyone deserves a second chance, even someone as jagged and prickly as Katsuki.

- The Kirishimas make a few sizeable donations to the city and the family kitchen from before in Katsuki’s honor, boasting about his heroicism and how their family is indebted to him, and Katsuki finds himself back in their neighborhood more often than not to attend cookouts and charity events.

- He still feels out of place in their fancy home, and he’s not so great with Eijirou’s sister, but he tries to make an effort, he works hard to make the most of it, and Eijirou would never ask anything more from him than that.

#I don't know if these are fun or dumb #or both! #but I had fun writing it #and I have a lot of lengthy notes like this for other AUs as well #that I would love to write but probably just won't ever get around to #so #here is one of them at least #while I am in my little slump #lady and the tramp #kiribaku #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #bakushima #kaminari denki #sero hanta #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #camie utsushimi #todoroki touya #shigaraki tomura #bnha #my hero academia

[ibijau]

Can there be grovelling in the next chapter of the concubine au? That's one of my favorite tropes in royalty au's -- where the one with power gets mad and the other person goes right down on their knees (or flat on the ground as appropriate) to talk to them (or not talk to them), and they're terrified because the power differential is so big... Favorite trope ever

oops, I'm... not sure that really counts as grovelling? But nhs is suitably terrified

concubine nhs pt9 / on AO3

If it had been up to him, Lan Xichen might never have returned to that little house. The humiliation of having been lied to for several years, and in so intimate a manner, the realisation that everything had happened for the sake of political scheming, had broken his heart too thoroughly. Nie Huaisang must have been laughing at how stupid he’d been to believe so wholeheartedly that he was loved.

An idiot, like his father before him.

But unlike his father, Lan Xichen wouldn't hide in shame, nor wash his hands of the whole matter.

Because some people had nothing to do with their time but to watch the life of others and comment on it, it was quickly noticed that Lan Xichen had suddenly stopped visiting his beloved concubine. It had already raised some eyebrows while Nie Mingjue was in the capital, but might have been mistaken as an attempt to save that general some face by not sleeping with his brother while he was there. But Nie Mingjue was only briefly around before returning to his troops, and it became a topic for discussion when Lan Xichen still did not go to the little house.

Much as Lan Xichen had enjoyed pretending otherwise when spending the night with Nie Huaisang, he was not an ordinary man, and even his private life did not fully belong to him. He refused to give any importance to the whispers he heard around him, but knew he could not ignore them forever. When Lan Wangji, who disdained gossip of any sort, felt the need to comment on the situation after his weekly visit to Nie Huaisang, while Lan Qiren started looking as if he too wanted to have a word with his nephew on that matter, Lan Xichen gave in.

Unwilling to deal with a lecture, and mortified at the thought of what his uncle might say if he learned how much Lan Xichen resembled his father after all, the emperor had no choice.

A week after learning the truth, Lan Xichen knocked on the door of that little house.

Because he'd come earlier in the day than he normally did, Nie Huaisang had not yet adorned himself with all the delicate silks and golden jewellery he usually wore. Dressed in a simpler manner, he looked again like the young man who had made him laugh in Qinghe, unaware of his identity.

Lan Xichen had been so sure back then that there had been a spark between them. He would never have asked for Nie Huaisang to be sent to the capital, nor dared to flirt so boldly, if he hadn’t been sure.

There was no spark that day. Nie Huaisang wasn't laughing, nor even smiling. Instead he stared at Lan Xichen the way most people did, with a mix of awe and fear. Not a lover in front of his beloved, but a subject in front of his emperor. Something broke inside Lan Xichen’s chest at that realisation.

"We must talk," he announced, using the tone of voice his uncle had trained him to favour during councils and official business, hoping that would hide his pain.

Without a word, Nie Huaisang stepped aside, lowering his gaze in a manner befitting an emperor's subject. Whatever comedy they'd played before had been abandoned. Lan Xichen came in, letting his concubine close the door while he went to sit at their table. There he found a book open, and some paper on which notes had been taken. The subject appeared to be military discipline, something his little bird would never have bothered with, but which Nie Huaisang appeared to understand quite well.

"Sit," Lan Xichen ordered. Then, fearing that Nie Huaisang might attempt to play his old role again and try to climb on his lap, he pointed at the other side of the table. "Over there."

Nie Huaisang meekly nodded, and obeyed without a word. Lan Xichen should have been glad perhaps, but could only think that he'd have preferred for Nie Huaisang to protest at being addressed so harshly, or to complain about being abandoned for so long. His little bird always grumbled if he went too long without a visit, demanding even more affection than usual to make up for the absence, never satisfied until he had been kissed a long while and heard everything that Lan Xichen had done while away. That was how things usually went between them, and if Nie Huaisang had done that, then perhaps Lan Xichen could have hoped that he'd just misunderstood the other day, that something between them had been real…

His father too must have hoped the same, as had many others upon discovering their love was never returned.

"Did your father order you to seduce me?" Lan Xichen asked.

Nie Huaisang startled but didn’t answer, still avoiding his eyes. Of course he’d avoid his eyes. It was not right for a subject to look at their emperor’s face, was it?

“Answer the question.”

“He encouraged it,” Nie Huaisang confessed in a low voice, pulling in the hem of his sleeve, his gaze refusing to meet Lan Xichen’s.

“You’ve lied to me.”

That was met again with silence, when Lan Xichen would have preferred a vehement denial, or perhaps a tearful plea for mercy, or just about anything but that quiet resignation. He hated to see Nie Huaisang afraid of him. He didn’t enjoy inspiring fear in anyone to begin with, but to do so in the person he had loved, whom he still loved in spite of the betrayal, was unbearable.

He wanted to leave right then, to never see so much fear in his little bird. But that, of course, was impossible.

“If I could, I’d send you back to your father,” Lan Xichen said, and that at last got him a reaction. Nie Huaisang shivered and hunched his shoulders, daring a quick glance at him.

Lord Nie could be a very pleasant man. He was well liked by many, including Lan Xichen’s own uncle who had little talent for making friends. But pleasant as he was, Lord Nie was also well known for his peculiar sense of justice, and the way it made him strike hard on those who failed to accomplish their duty. Even his own family was held to those standards, or so Nie Mingjue used to say when they were young.

Nie Mingjue who had been ordered to become friends with Lan Xichen when sent away from home to become the child emperor’s companion, though he’d had the honesty of just saying so, and made it clear at first he didn’t much care for Lan Xichen, not until he’d proven he was worth befriending. Perhaps it should not have come as such a surprise to Lan Xichen that Nie Huaisang too would have had orders, and unlike Nie Mingjue, he wouldn’t have had the security of being a legitimate first born to help him stand his ground.

“I won’t do that,” Lan Xichen announced. “The political ramifications would be more than I wish to deal with at the moment. If I do anything to imply that your family has fallen out of favour, their enemies will try to take advantage, which would complicate our war against the Wens. I don’t want to see that war drag any longer than necessary, so I must continue showing support to you and your father.”

He could only imagine what Jin Guangshan would do if he thought the Nie were no longer under imperial protection. There was an old feud of sorts between the two families, going back a few generations, and Jin Guangshan was the sort of man who would care more about improving his own position than about winning a war. Not only that, but Jin Guangshan had already offered to give some of his illegal children as imperial concubines, and he would try it again, selling his own children for favours. It had disgusted Lan Xichen the first time the offer had been made.

It still disgusted him, and Lord Nie had fallen in his esteem for having done the same.

But hearing this reassurance, some tension appeared to bleed out of Nie Huaisang’s body at last, though he still remained hunched up. He looked small, and frailer than Lan Xichen had ever realised before. He’d always been aware that his little bird was not a very big man, but he noticed for the first how thin he was, how pale… Much paler than he was when they'd met, and more delicate as well. Nie Huaisang looked almost sickly, though his usually animated nature hid. It was almost painful to see him so miserable. Lan Xichen wanted to pull him into his arms and comfort him, the way he’d done so many times before.

He would have done it, if not for the suspicions that his touch would only make Nie Huaisang more miserable.

“I will have to continue coming here regularly,” Lan Xichen said, and again Nie Huaisang’s eyes darted toward his face, wide and terrified. “I will come less. I will say that you’ve encouraged me to start thinking of taking a wife.” It wouldn’t be a lie. The reason he’d been so reluctant to enter a proper marriage had been because he’d wanted to dedicate all his free time to his lover. With that consideration removed, Lan Xichen could more easily do what duty demanded of him. “But I cannot simply stop coming. It would cause too much gossip if we ended things too abruptly.”

Nie Huaisang weakly nodded, and still wouldn’t react.

“Won’t you say something?” Lan Xichen hissed, hoping he sounded angry rather than desperate. “Won’t you defend yourself?”

“You have… I mean, his highness has made his decision. How could this humble one contest it? Whatever his highness decides, this humble one will comply.”

“I see,” Lan Xichen said.

What he saw, what he understood, was that even with his father’s anger to fear, Nie Huaisang was entirely unwilling to continue his comedy, now that he had a chance of escaping it. Lan Xichen could only imagine how much his little bird must have hated him, if he was so eager to be rid of him. It had all been a lie then. Every moment of joy, every kiss, every night spent together…

How pathetic that he'd never suspected anything.

It would take a while to fully accept that none of it had been true. That they hadn’t been in love, no matter how sure of that Lan Xichen had been.

It would take a while to stop loving a little bird who had never really existed.

And still, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t look at him, his eyes cast down, submissive and resigned. Had he looked like that when his father had ordered him to seduce Lan Xichen? He could imagine it too well, Lord Nie tall and domineering, demanding that his second-born sacrifice his pride, while Nie Huaisang, dutiful son that he was, accepted without protest to spend his youth in the bed of another man whom he disliked.

It would have been decided only between the two of them, Lan Xichen thought. He could not imagine Nie Mingjue approving of this, not with how angry he’d sounded the other day when Lan Xichen overheard everything, not when Nie Mingjue had spent so much of their youth complaining that he wanted his half-brother to be given the same respect he got. He’d always said he wanted to see his brother live to his full potential, harassing his father to recognise him, pushing for Nie Huaisang to be more than a mere servant, to be given a chance to study and enter the administration where he was sure to shine.

Nie Mingjue had to hate Lan Xichen, for robbing Nie Huaisang of that.

Lan Xichen, then, realised that he hadn’t lost just his lover. He had also lost his oldest, dearest friend. How could he ever have faced Nie Mingjue after this, how could he have confided in him, now that he knew the truth?

Shaken by that realisation, Lan Xichen stood up. He needed to leave that house. To stay there even one moment more, in front of that man who had lied to him for the entirety of their acquaintance, was more than he could do.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Lan Xichen said, struggling to keep his composure as he opened the door of that little house where he once was so happy.

He left, and still Nie Huaisang didn’t run after him, didn’t beg for another chance, didn’t so much as shed a tear. Lan Xichen, to his shame, wished that he had, just so he could have broken down and tried to salvage something that had never been real in the first place. Even with Nie Huaisang so cold, it was tempting to run back inside and ask what he could have done to earn his love, or if that were impossible, what he might offer to continue this comedy they’d been playing. He would have done just anything, like his father before him.

But unlike his father, Lan Xichen valued his dignity, and would not delude himself into thinking love was possible once it had been proven to be absent.

He walked away from the little house, whipped away the few tears that had escaped him, and returned to his duty.

#xisang #lan xichen #nie huaisang #concubine au #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #I fear lxc is maybe not super sympathetic here but well he's angry and hurt

[dent-de-leon]

Mollymauk, 4, 5, 11, 13, 14, 15, 21, 22 :D (feel free to trim down if this is too many)

asksjkdf I'm sorry in advance because I got a little carried away so this got a little long, but thanks for the ask! I love any and every excuse to talk about Mollymauk...

4.) Best places to kiss on their body

I think Molly is actually very partial to forehead kisses! I feel like he uses that to ground Caleb in part because it’s something that’s always been very comforting to him--for instance, when Yasha finally gets to embrace him again, she also kisses his forehead. I think I remember Molly doing this for the twins back at the carnival too, so I feel like it’s a habit he picked up from the circus? Just the kind of little thing you do for someone to show you love them.

Aside from that, I think he would really appreciate a kiss on the neck, where most of his blood hunter scars--and that haunting red Eye--are. A bit of loving tenderness to soothe the pain.

5.) Guilty pleasures

Oh I love this pick for Molly cause boY does he have a lot of these!! He builds a life off joy and hedonism, so he’s got this in spades. I forget where, but I’ve definitely seen someone theorize before that the reason base pleasures are so appealing to Molly is because he started out just feeling like an “Empty” body, so anything that’s very stimulating on a physical level is very grounding for him? I really like the idea of that. I think wanting to feel like he was really “alive” and “whole” is part of why he gravitated towards decadence and indulgence, anything that made his heart beat faster.

The episode where we get the famous “Long may I reign” scene definitely covers a lot of his favorite indulgences. But as much as he loves being spoiled, I think he also likes making sure the people he cares about are pampered like royalty too. Taliesin mentioned before that the reason Molly likes gold so much is because he’s got this very childish perception that money is Good because you can use it to get Nice Things that make other people Happy. Since Molly’s been alive for only two years, I feel like a lot of his guilty pleasures actually stem from this sort of sentiment. The fact that he’s still so young and everything in the world is very new and exciting and he just wants to be as happy as possible--and make his loved ones happy too. It’s a very endearingly innocent sort of view.

11.) Bad or petty habits

Hmmm I feel like the one thing that makes Molly the pettiest is when someone tries to tell him his tarot readings are bullshit lmao. Even if he mostly thinks so himself, he adamantly refuses to hear it from anyone else.

13.) What gets them flustered

I think whenever someone is being very genuine and having a real heart to heart with him. Molly is perfectly at ease talking bullshit or telling pretty lies. He’s also very comfortable being very sincere and compassionate when it comes to comforting others, like the little ways he’s always trying to cheer up Jester, the forehead kiss for Caleb, promising Fjord the Nein won’t let him die, bringing Yasha a four-leaf-clover with the wish that one day she’ll feel happier.

But whenever people are openly affectionate and trying to have an honest conversation with him? I think that makes him tense up and panic a bit. He’s not good with letting himself be vulnerable, dropping his showman’s performance. We actually see a lot of this when Molly is resurrected and starts going by Kingsley. He knows he has feelings for the Nein, but he’s definitely a little nervous and overwhelmed when he confronts that.

Several times, Caleb assures King he’s still welcome in the Nein, and that always makes Kingsley either defensive or very quiet, keeps catching him off-guard. “Well for starters, you are with friends.” “Perhaps this is your first time meeting us. It's our second time...Stick with us.” “We have a habit of taking in strays.” “This is the newest member of the band.” Being accepted just like that, loved by all the Nein so unconditionally, just like that? I think it leaves him a little shaken, because he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything to earn it. Like he doesn’t deserve to be this missed and wanted and loved.

14.) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

I think there are some nights where he keeps looking over his shoulder and feels like he’s being watched--when the Eyes of Nine start to itch and burn, when it feels like something’s crawling under his skin--and he looks at the mirror and swears he sees a face that looks just the same but somehow isn’t his. And for a while after he first wakes--and again when he’s resurrected--I think there are still moments when he’s scared or panicked and he’ll just keep repeating Empty over and over.

I also really like how Taliesin used to just pick a random card from his tarot deck to decide what Molly should do. I can definitely see Mollymauk doing something similar--just pulling a random card from his deck on a whim, trusting it’ll lead him in the right direction.

15.) What it takes to make them cry

I feel like Molly rarely cries, mainly because he hates feeling sorry for himself or ruminating on any bad memories. He’s kinda funny that way; he refuses to let himself be unhappy, especially when he feels like he’s always living on borrowed time. The one thing I can see really making him break down is seeing his loved ones hurting--he literally spits at the face of his own death, but I think he’s really terrified of losing someone else.

If there’s one scene where I can really see Molly crying, it’s when Jester falls in that final battle. When Caleb makes this desperate plea that breaks through to Molly for a single heart-wrenching moment, “You’re killing her, you’re killing her! You love her. You’re killing her!” The absolute horror of that shakes Lucien’s control for just a moment, and Molly claws at his own face in retaliation. You can just tell how much his heart is breaking just then, how scared he is, how much he must hate himself. I could definitely imagine Molly shedding a few tears right then, if he had enough control of the body to do it.

Having to watch Lucien use his body to kill Jester and Caleb, the amount of pain Lucien caused Yasha and all the others, the nightmares of his death and black chains that forever haunt him after--I think those are the kinds of things that would bring Molly to tears in his lowest moments. And when he finally reads Beau’s book and finds out about how Yasha suffered a similar fate under Obann? Yeah, I think he’d get choked up over that too.

21.) Turning points in their life

Oh, there’s so many interesting twists and turns Molly’s life takes in just a few short years. Undoubtably, I think every life, death, and rebirth left the biggest impact. The fact that he woke all alone that first time--and then found himself surrounded by so many loved ones a lifetime later--I think that had a profound impact on his sense of self worth and his attachment to others.

That first life, Molly convinces himself that he must have been someone awful before, to have been left alone in an unmarked grave on the side of the road. With no one who missed or mourned him. He believes he somehow deserves that fate. And when he’s taken in by the circus? Taliesin mentions he never spends more than 24 hours alone. He’s...very lonely, I think. Someone who can’t bear to be isolated again. So when he wakes up again to a whole family of people who love him? Who welcome him wholeheartedly and insist they’ll love him unconditionally, no matter who he is? It’s beautiful, and it means the world to someone like Mollymauk/Kingsley. “I’m looking forward to the future. And I hope to deserve to have woken up surrounded by such people.”

Molly’s also mentioned that it was the Moonweaver who helped guide him when he first woke, who gave him comfort in having a new start in life. “Can you imagine what it would feel like to not feel anything about anything that had happened to you so far?...It’s very freeing. It’s the best thing--It’s the thing that happened to me. It’s not the best thing that happened to me, it’s the thing that happened to me. I found peace in building a new person. The Moonweaver--” However he came to worship the Moonweaver, I think it was definitely one of the most formative experiences in all his lives. I also like to headcanon the woman in a red coat Molly/King met in his dream was another visit from the Moonweaver, and she was either trying to return his memories or offer him another chance at a fresh start.

22.) People who’ve influenced them greatly

Oh, pre-campaign I think Molly modeled a lot of his behaviors and mannerisms after others in the circus, especially Gustav. He’s the one who named Mollymauk and presumably the one who spent the most time raising him and caring for him in that Empty period.

Molly has his own set of morals he feels very strongly about, and it’s entirely learned from the circus, “Things came back quick, and the circus helped. They were good people. They did a lot for me, and joy can fill an awful lot of a person’s life.” “I may be a liar, but I’m never a betrayer. I’m honest in my work and I believe in doing a good turn...I stayed with that circus for two years, and I know how people treat each other. It’s important.” When Molly is resurrected again, I think all of the Mighty Nein have very much the same effect on him.

#i just...love this little tief a whole lot

[femmeharringrove]

when steve goes into labor early, he finds himself craving his mother's presence in a way he never has before.

he's always loved her, even if she never really loved him. growing up, she always just sort of avoided him - his eyes were so big and open and honest as he toddled about proclaiming his own love for just about everything under the sun - his nonna, the roses growing, and his mama. and she knew she should have loved him. hell, she wanted to love him, but she just couldn't. and since she couldn't love this little being who seemed entirely made up of love, she distanced herself.

and maybe as a child he didn't know, he was gullible enough to believe that she was just busy, just couldn't come play or couldn't help him plant a new flower, but he grew up and he saw everyone else's mother do so much better. and it stung. it did worse than sting, it ached in a way he just couldn't explain. and when he was fourteen he finally broke down and asked her why she didn't love him, and he'd hoped that she'd tell him otherwise but she was drunk and all she could do was break down and cry and ask for his forgiveness. she didn't remember it the next morning but steve's been haunted by the memory ever since, the knowledge that his mother doesn't love him.

of course he always knew his father despised him, there was no question of that. and now that he's having a baby of his own his aversion to the elder Harrington has only worsened. john harrington is a cruel being, he never should have been allowed near ant child, and steve was determined to keep him away from this one no matter what. he's already told the man he won't be allowed in the hospital, but his mother is supposed to be there. but it's the dead of night and the baby is coming early and as much as he cries for her there's no possible way to get her there in time.

still, billy's heart tugs at the way steve whimpers and says "i - i need her." but the thing is, billy knows the infamous misses harrington. and she doesn't deserve to be there when steve gives birth. but he knows exactly who does.

he does feel a little guilty about calling at such a ridiculous hour, but he isn't surprised when joyce answers, soft and groggy.

"hello?"

and billy pauses, because he doesn't know how to word this. he doesn't know how to tell her that steve's hours away from being a father instead of week, that he's crying for someone who doesn't love him, that billy himself is a little terrified. but in the end it just comes out on its own.

"he needs his mom."

and so joyce shows up at four in the morning and steve sobs against her because he's only ever been ready for the theoreticals. this isn't him reading a book on pregnancy, this isn't one of the kind mothers of hawkins sharing their delivery stories. this is steve, his stomach contracting miserably, his back and hips screaming, his heart racing because he's about to be in possession of a tiny little human being who's going to need him for everything. and this is also steve, barely in the third decade of his life, no real plan for his own future, staying up most nights because he's scared of monsters - monsters he'll now have to protect his baby from. and he doesn't know how to put those fears into words so all he can do is cry, and joyce, she gets it, she always does, and so she strokes his hair and soothes his fears as best she can.

and then there's claudia of course, who's been there since steve's first ultrasound, and she never leaves his room for long, not if she can help it. she holds his hand and wipes his tears and steve feels safe. claudia's always called him the older son she never had, and he feels more like steve henderson than steve harrington in those moments.

the kids won't leave either, because of course they won't. eleven and will overheard joyce on the phone the night before and when hopper tries to get them to school they outright beg to stay home because focusing is impossible knowing their honorary neice or nephew could be born at any second. and hop wants to make them go, but ultimately he can't. and once they get the all-clear, they call the others, and the next thing steve knows he's surrounded by a gang of not-quite teenagers looking him over for any problems and loudly expressing their excitement. and it's endearing, because it reminds steve that this kid has a plethora of babysitters at the ready - even if mike tries to act like he doesn't care, which is decidedly false judging from the panic that crosses his face when steve's hit with a nasty contraction.

dustin refuses to go home even as night falls, and max tells susan she's spending the night with eleven - which is true, but they're both staying at the hospital as well, hopper watching them while joyce stays firmly by steve's side.

on his right, as has been the case for the entirety of his pregnancy, is billy. holding his hand, pushing his hair out of his face, comforting and praising him through steve's low whines and pained groans. he doesn't know how many hours he spends pushing but it hurts like nothing else, like his body is being torn from the inside, and he wants it to stop but he needs to keep going. so he does, he grits his teeth and he pushes through everything, and in the end he's rewarded with the first wail of a human being.

and he doesn't cry right away.

not that he can, his body is catching up with that the hell just happened, his breath is still coming in quick, shaky gasps, and he feels like he's only hearing joyce, not listening. nothing feels right until he's given the solid six-pound weight of his baby on his chest. she's so pink, and her cries are subsiding slowly, but steve runs a trembling hand over the top of her head and realizes she's got the same dark fuzz from all of his baby pictures and then it smacks him in the gut.

this baby is his.

and he holds her close and cries because the amount of love in his chest is too much, he hurts with the intensity of it.

nikita rosaline harrington is her name, and billy tears up a little bit because of it. she's a pretty little thing, her nose is tiny and scrunches up whenever billy runs a fingertip down the tiny bridge of it. she's got her father's eyes too, big and brown and curious, billy's never seen anything more precious - or he thinks so, until he watches steve stare at her with the same eyes and nearly has a heart attack at how sweet the two of them are. and he doesn't need to complicate things right now, not when steve's finally catching his breath after months of hardship, but he knows in his heart this is his family. that's his baby, that's his - well, his steve. and he kisses them both on the forehead and promises he'll take care of them. he's not the dick responsible for knocking steve up, but it's an honor to do this, to step in.

to prove he's not like neil. he can be a dad, and a damn good one at that.

and steve, who doesn't even like letting nancy drive the party to the arcade without him being there, he trusts billy wholeheartedly to raise this baby with him. billy doesn't take that lightly.

joyce and claudia spend a good hour fawning over nikita, they've gotten her so many gifts and she ends up in the little cap claudia made and the outfit joyce got. max and eleven are just as thrilled, max kisses her chubby little cheeks and eleven stares at steve in awe for literally creating a life. will talks to her quietly and holds her like he never wants to let go, even though he does in order to let hopper hold niki for a bit.

there's never been a question about who her grandfather is. neil and john are simply unfit, and hopper's been a pseudo-dad to billy and steve, he's the only one who gets the grandfather status. there's a whole mix of emotion on his face as he bounces the cooing baby, telling her how nice it is to finally meet her and how he's gonna enjoy spoiling her rotten. when he finally gives her back to steve, the man has tears in his eyes.

"you did good, kid," he tells steve, runs a heavy hand over his hair before patting billy on the shoulder.

dustin holds her the longest, of course. he quickly comes to adore the fit of his finger in her curled palm, and he tells her about all the things he's going to teach her as she grows up. steve's fondly amused at how easily dustin takes to carrying nikita, in the same way steve got used to dragging dustin around. every time the curly-haired kid remembers to look up at the other people in the room, he gives steve the brightest grin, eyes crinkled with merriment.

"you have the coolest dad ever, niki," he informs her proudly, and steve's finally beyond the need for cool points but it's touching nonetheless.

mike and lucas meet her in the morning, and lucas immediately charms the baby with a little song as he rocks her back and forth. he declares himself the fun uncle, which dustin protests, but steve and billy know lucas is correct. mike is the only one who just knows how to hold a baby, thanks to a baby sister, so he takes nikita from lucas like it's nothing and stares at her little face for a long time. the emotion there isn't something steve can read, but he sees the way mike draws her closer after a moment and smiles.

mike's a protector, even if he likes to act like he doesn't care sometimes. and steve, who's just as protective, knows that niki is beyond safe with him.

when robin meets the baby she nearly screams. but then she remembers how new those little ears are and settles for the biggest grin as she swipes niki from billy and walks about, cooing all sorts of nonsense to her little neice. "she's too cute," she gushes, planting a kiss to the baby's forehead. "i'm taking her home. sorry, dingus." and steve protests, but they both know she isn't about to walk out of there with a baby. robin loves kids, but she doesn't think motherhood is for her.

it's certainly not for everyone. and that thought doesn't occur to steve until his mother shows up, nearly a day after niki is born.

he watches her go to pick nikita up and his heart twists and he wants to reach over and take her back. his hands stay clenched under the blanket as the woman smiles at the baby, then at steve himself.

"you made a cute one, i'm not surprised," she muses, and then she says, "don't you just love her?"

and steve, he can't really respond to that.

billy's his saving grace, picks up on the shift and ends up gently convincing misses harrington to come back another time. when he turns back to steve, the brunette has tears already streaming down his face.

"why couldn't she -?" he tries, but billy doesn't need him to finish that sentence. he moves closer and wraps steve up in his arms and for the first time decides that he hates both harringtons, not just john.

because steve's easily the most loveable soul he's ever stumbled across. he looks at nikita and all he can see is a little steve, and he hates the boy's parents for refusing to love the vulnerable little soul they brought into the world.

#steebie writes #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things au #co parenting au #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove

[in-tua-deep]

20 for Vanya?

20. What-ifs/Alternate Timelines

I have a lot of what-ifs and alternate timelines for Vanya lmao, especially ones that prevent the apocalypse because I’m a sucker for a happy ending tbh

What if Vanya was included? Why not? Klaus’s powers weren’t useful for missions, Allison’s story for Claire was literally like “yeah Klaus got distracted by ghosts in the background lol” so it’s not like a kid without offensive powers couldn’t do it

you have rebellious Vanya aus, where she decides, like some neglected children do, so act out. If her father isn’t going to acknowledge anything good about her, she’s going to make him acknowledge the bad. Punishment might be the only time he pays attention to her, after all.

(let’s call this an au where the pills suppress her powers but not so much her emotions)

So you have an au where she sneaks out and joins the missions. She breaks into the mausoleum and picks Klaus up and stares her father down with a challenge in her eyes. 

Five vanishes, and Vanya gets worse. She plays her violin at 2 in the morning. She refuses to eat her broccoli. she teams up with diego to see who can piss dad off the most

(her and Diego actually get along very well in this sort of au, honestly)

Vanya gets out and plays the violin and gets angry. She plays with fury and fire and gets second chair, because Helen is actually really very good. But she makes Helen work for it. Helen isn’t secure in her position, she always knows that Vanya is a step away from taking it from her

and maybe that should make them enemies, but it doesn’t. They’re rivals. Helen respects the hell out of Vanya, and Vanya can’t help but admire the woman who makes the most difficult pieces look effortless

(RIVALS TO LOVERS: VIOLIN EDITION)

Vanya writes her book. Except she kicks down Diego’s boiler room door and is like “DIEGO”

“WHAT”

“I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW MUCH DAD FUCKING SUCKS”

“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE”

as one of the rebel kids, Vanya actually got along well with Klaus as well since she helped him sneak out and 100% also smoked at least some weed with him because it would piss off Reggie tbh though she didn’t get into the harder drugs like he did

(showing up absolutely plastered to breakfast when they were sixteen was hilarious even if the laps they had to run around the block were not)

anyway Klaus crashes at her apartment sometimes, with supervision, because she loves Klaus but he has a problem and has stolen from her before but he’s still her brother but regardless

Klaus-Diego-Vanya sleepovers where they brainstorm the book to shit talk their father. Honestly it’s kind of a blast. They all get super wine drunk and end up watching Mary Poppins together with some Very Loud Opinions about nannies in general tbh

klaus throwing popcorn at the screen: BOO WHY WAS OUR CHILDHOOD NOT A MUSICAL???

diego: idk if you can have cheery musicals about child soldiers

vanya: i mean if they can have a musical about child labor in factories and the starvation of the workers in oliver twist you could do something with child superheroes

klaus: EXACTLY thank you vanya

they publish the book (luther is uNHAPPY, vanya dedicates her book to ‘all my siblings who survived the Reginald Regime but especially those who didn’t’, and she gifts Reggie a copy that says “fuck you lol” and is signed by her, diego, and klaus), they continue living, they go to the funeral when reggie kicks the bucket

and then five shows up, feral and aching

and five tells vanya about the apocalypse, and vanya thinks about their father saying time travel messed with the mind, and then she thinks - fuck the old man he was wrong about her (ordinary, fuck that, she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves) and he was probably wrong about Five, too

and Five is wholeheartedly believed

“Let me call Diego,” Vanya says when Five tells her about the eye, “I bet he could totally wear a police uniform and get info about the eye. And if not, I’m absolutely sure Klaus could improvise a solution. He’s good at that.”

“Klaus??” Five asks, vaguely suspicious.

“We don’t talk about the Sleepover of 2012.” Vanya intones solemnly, and refuses to answer any further questions on the topic.

Harold Jenkins comes to the apartment and tries to woo Vanya or whatever, and Vanya is kind of like... “Look, Leonard. I can be your teacher for violin. It’s my job. But I am in a relationship. And also like, super gay. If you have a problem with that then I am not the teacher for you.”

Actually scratch Diego and Klaus getting called, which they do, Vanya looks at them and her thirteen year old brother and is like “wait. actually i know someone infinitely better to crack this case wide open.”

“Who?” Five, Klaus, and Diego all ask

“My girlfriend.” Vanya says proudly, called Helen up.

And Helen walks into the building like she’s at fucking war and has such demanding confidence that they just give her the information she seeks and apologize for inconveniencing her.

“Hey Vanya are we still on for date night tomorrow?” Helen casually asks after, and Five kind of wants to be her when he grows up honestly after watching her verbally eviscerate Lance or whatever the fuck his name is

“Yeah.” Vanya confirms, “Unless there’s other apocalypse stuff to do?”

“You take all the time you need, honey.” Helen says warmly, “After all the more time you take the less you have to practice.”

“I’m gonna destroy the concert piece and you know it.” Vanya threatens.

Helen sniffs, “Okay, whatever you say second chair.”

and then they kiss and Helen ditches and the others just kind of look at Vanya judgingly

“In fairness, she’s very hot and very talented.” Vanya defends herself.

Klaus nods sagely. Vanya nods back. He gets it. 

“Concert piece?” Diego asks, because he has priorities.

“Yeah, I’ve already asked for tickets for all of you and you will be attending Diego.” Vanya smiles prettily with all her teeth.

“When is it?” Five asks

“April 1st.” Vanya tells him, “And no that isn’t an April Fools joke. You will attend and you will marvel at my skill. And maybe run interference between Helen and Allison because I’m kind of afraid they’re going to rip each others throats out to establish dominance.”

“That’s the day of the apocalypse.” Five informs her.

“Not on my goddamn watch.” Vanya says, because her family will attend her fucking concert and they will make awkward small talk with her girlfriend and the fucking apocalypse has better lay down and get over itself because nothing can stop Vanya’s goddamn plans

“I can investigate Meritech more.” Diego offers, because Lance-or-whatever-his-name-is is clearly shady as shit, “I have police contacts I could go through. Hey Vanya, your concert tickets include a plus one?”

“They can.” Vanya shrugs.

“Sweet, let me see if Patch can come.”

“She’s way too good for you, bro.”

“Shut your goddamn mouth.”

Anyway the point is they all go home, and Diego goes to talk to his police contacts and Five is definitely at home for when Hazel and Cha-Cha attack the mansion, oops. 

“Whomst the FUCK.” Vanya yells, kicking Hazel in the crotch because she’s Vanya Fucking Hargreeves she knows self defense thank you very much

“Ah.” Five says. “Hazel. How’s it going.”

“Just peachy.” Hazel wheezes, “Why’d you betray the Commission?”

“Well, you know. They cut the dental. That was really the last straw.” Five says, sarcastically.

“The dental.” Hazel echoes back, nodding very seriously, “I fucking know. You know physical therapy isn’t even covered anymore?”

“No shit?” Five says, “I mean you’d think with a job as physical as ours...”

“I know.” Hazel howls, vindicated. 

“Five.” Vanya says, rolling her eyes, “The house?”

“Oh, right.” Five frowns, looking at Hazel, “I mean. Can you like, leave? And not come back?”

“‘Fraid not.” Hazel actually sounds somewhat apologetic, “You know what the Commission is like. They’re really gunning for you.”

Five nods, because really what did he expect, “Can you leave like, temporarily? I mean you’d pretty clearly outnumbered. I don’t even know where Cha-Cha is, but judging by the furious yelling she probably met our sister and brother and Luther is hard to kill. Trust me, if he wasn’t we would have killed him when we were like, eight. But for real, can you get out of our house? I mean. Storming the den? Seriously? What kind of information did they even give you?”

“They didn’t give us any information.” Hazel responds back, sounding appropriately outraged, “They didn’t even tell us you could teleport.”

“Well that’s just rude. You’d think they wanted you dead or something.” Five muses, “But seriously, get out of my house.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Hazel admits, and leaves, because honestly Hazel is chill like that and knows when he’s lost. And Hazel also has a lot to think about. Like the fact that the Commission sucks and doesn’t even have dental, and how pretty the donut lady is. 

and Vanya is just like... okay. Weird. Is that going to happen again? Probably? I mean. Okay, this day has already been so goddamn weird. This week, honestly.

And they keep getting attacked by the Commission. And Vanya finds out someone broke into her apartment and stole her meds. What the fuck. 

“Did your shitty assassin friends do this?” Vanya asks, waving an empty pill bottle.

“Why would they?” Five asks, honestly confused.

“Because they’re assholes?” Vanya says, honestly outraged.

“You got me there.” Five admits.

The combined forces of Diego-and-Patch (because Patch is actually thrilled that Diego is asking for help regarding an actual fucking crime) figure out that the eyeballs are being sold illegally

Klaus is not kidnapped so he’s fine, just tagging along and living his best life, however this also means that Klaus does not steal the briefcase and Hazel and Cha-Cha are fine

Vanya keeps Five close at hand because frankly she doesn’t want him to leave again and she did really miss him. Also if she does save the world she can lord it over Helen’s head forever. 

And so Five is around when Vanya’s powers manifest, probably because they just got targeted by commission goons again because they’re trying real hard to kill five and separate Vanya

“Holy SHIT.” Five says, very intelligently, “You have POWERS.”

“Wow. Gonna have to write a fucking sequel to the shit-talking-dad book.” Vanya says, honestly a little light headed.

And then Vanya finds out her powers are sound based.

“Oh no.” Vanya says, “Where the fuck are my pills. I am not relearning how to play the violin with-powers a few days before the big concert Five, what the fuck.”

“But you need to learn to control them!” Five protests, “They’re your powers!”

“They’re a goddamn inconvenience is what they are.” Vanya states, “I mean, what am I going to do with them? Stop a bank robbery with the Umbrella Academy? Yeah, no thanks, that ship has sailed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean Titanic style. I’ll figure them out when I’m not in danger of blasting the audience halfway across the continent.”

“Yeah.” Five admits, “That’s fair.”

“Besides, if I’ve been on that shit as long as I have, and it’s been a long time, I cannot even IMAGINE what quitting cold turkey will do.” Vanya points out, very sensibly, like a siblings who has watched Klaus go through withdrawal symptoms more than once.

“Maybe there’s extra at the manor?” Five suggests, “Pogo probably knows.”

“Oh yeah I bet Pogo knows something.” Vanya mutters maybe a little bitterly.

They go back to the mansion and the Commission is honestly pulling their hair out tbh, and they ask Pogo who kind of pales and is like “UHHHH YES I CAN GET VANYA EXTRA PILLS” and goes to get them from whatever stash

“Fucking sweet.” Vanya whispers, entirely done with this situation, “The only adult male role model I had and he hid my powers from me and betrayed me. Love that for us.”

Five shrugs, “I mean, you’re right. All of our adult role models were all kinds of fucked up.”

“You vanished when we were 13.” Vanya says, “Didn’t you find like, any other adults ever?”

“Oh let me tell you about the Handler.” Five says, and proceeds to do just that. Because let’s be real, the Handler was the only human interaction Five had after forty odd years alone it was pretty damn important

Vanya, on the other hand, has strong plans to eviscerate the Handler should the two ever meet because Five deserved way better than to be forcibly made into an assassin?? honestly fuck that woman

that’s it that’s the au

Vanya finds out she has powers and is like “i have a LIFE i don’t want to interrupt it with bullshit POWERS,,, also going cold turkey off my meds seems like a bad idea if I don’t want to deal with withdrawal symptoms during my concert for fucks sake, my gf would never let me live it down if i skipped”

so vanya takes her meds, does NOT destroy the world, makes every one of her siblings go to the concert and even invites Hazel and Agnes after Hazel betrays Cha-Cha to join team No-Apocalypse. 

and then introduces them all to her girlfriend

“Holy shit Vanya.” Helen deadpans, “Your family is all kinds of fucked up.”

“I know.” Vanya says, aggrieved, “It’s been a long fucking week. Want to go camping and help me figure out my cool sound based powers? Bet they’ll make me a better violin player than you.”

“I think the fuck not.” Helen hisses, always up for a challenge, “Let’s do this. Me and my violin vs. you and your dumb baby powers. You’re on.”

“FAMILY CAMPING TRIP.” Klaus hollers, with all the enthusiasm in his little heart.

“Holy shit this is going to be such a disaster, I just know it.” Diego mutters.

“Shut up, it’ll be nice.” Allison says, elbowing Diego with her pointy pointy elbows.

“It’s going to be a shitshow.” Vanya says serenely, because it is. That’s just who their family is. 

Wouldn’t have it any other way, though

#rebel vanya au #vanya is a rebel with a cause #she's GAY she's got POWERS and she's NEW IN TOWN #vanya discovers her powers and is like 'nope no thank you' the au #i mean vanya was ALMOST like that in canon honestly #vanya and helen are enemies to lovers 500k slowburn orchestra au #vanya plays an extremely complicated piece flawlessly and then helen makes out with her in the concert hall broom closet #helen: i can't NOT fuck her #helen finds vanya's competence and confidence extremely sexy and it keeps her on her toes #vanya is honestly the same tbh with a side helping of 'my girlfriend can DESTROY you' #diego and vanya have matching 'reggie sux' friendship bracelets #allison would like to have a sibling relationship with vanya #allison: you could do better than helen #vanya: hell yeah I can i will wrench first chair away from her #helen: OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU WILL #vanya: I HAVE POWERS NOW JUST TRY ME #and then they make out and allison is left going... what?? #far tua long #long post #ask game #headcanon game #Anonymous

[ktheist]

lie to me, lie with me.

warnings. mention of miscarriage, divorce and alcohol.

[day #1348]

jeon jungkook doesn’t not believe in soulmates per se.

“i just don’t believe that you’re supposed to give your whole life to someone some invisible force decides is ‘right’ for you,” his eyes hadn’t particularly been observing the every change of emotion on your face.

but you were half-expecting that he would see through your seemingly momentous pause - when in fact, you were only going over the odds of him shutting you out if you spoke your mind. that all your life, you spent staring at the digits in your wrist for the moment you’d meet the destined one.

the other half of your soul.

he seemed like it though.

 the kind of person to turn someone away at the romanticized mention of red strings and destiny, that is.

you couldn’t really say those words weren’t planned - no, by then, you’d already gone over the possibilities of this attractive but emotionally cautious man shutting the hopeless romantic-you out and you chose the only other option to stay by his side.

“me too.”

that’s the first lie you ever told to jungkook.

“really?” his unnervingly hollow eyes seemed to sparkle even just a little bit as though he wholeheartedly believed you.

“yeah,” you’d shrugged, eyes rolling as though the notion of two souls combined had been ludicrous, “like who’d want their lives decided on some countdown?”

in less than a minute, you’d told your second lie to the man you’d since then decided, could easily break your heart.

“cool.” but the ghost of a smile and the lull of his head as he looked at you with a sort of comforting mutual understanding, as if thinking ‘so it’s not just me’ - had been worth it.

and so began the series upon series of lies you tell jungkook who after several ‘would you like to grab dinner’s and ‘i like spending time with you’s later, became your boyfriend.

the numbers kept decreasing whilst long sleeves, wristbands and hand scarves began to find home on the surfaces of your counter, coffee table, couches - anywhere that you could think of, there’d be a colorful flowery piece of cloth or a black nike wristband lying around in your periphery. they blended so well with the background.

jungkook was tolerable for the most part. that is, until you moved in together and he bought a an empty bowl which started to get filled up by your wrist accessories. 

“you know, i don’t really mind the countdown,” he’d told you casually while you were huddled up together on the grey couch of your shared living room, every change of color scheme from the tv reflecting in his eyes like a second projector, “you don’t have to hide it from me.”

he never did.

but that was because his was on 0.

it always had been ever since you met him that night at some party that your uni friends invited you to.

“i just like having something on my wrists,” by then you’d lost count of how many lies you’d spoken with your sweet lips as you laid your cheek on his chest, a hand on his abdomen whilst his arm tugged you closer to him as though he couldn’t stand a hair breadth’s distance separating you.

“what would you say about having something on your finger?” jungkook’s eyes had slanted to your gawping ones ever so casually but the way his gaze quivered told you of the nervousness that he hid almost perfectly underneath his unbothered facade.

“what?” you breathed out, lips threatening to curl into a full blown smile but didn’t because you couldn’t let yourself make up scenarios of a home and mini you and him running around the living room but when his lips quirked the way it would whenever he was happy but didn’t want to show it - you knew it had been jungkook’s way of promising for a future.

“what?” he casually shrugged.

you’d went back to crushing your cheek against his chest as the hand on his abdomen went around to his hip, hugging throughout the movie.

[day #899]

it was your second christmas together, surrounded by your family and relatives who’d all been supportive of you and jungkook’s relationship - that they’d teased you just as you were about to pass jungkook a bowl of salads to place it on the dining table. the spot you’d happened to intersect each other at had been none other than the doorway, underneath a mistletoe.

you were seconds away from going for a quick peck but he’d been faster to fall on one knee and pulled out a velvet red box.

“yes,” lie. “yes,” lie. “yes,” lie. “yes!”

fucking lies.

he’d lifted you off your feet with his arms around your waist while you kissed him passionately in front of your family. your grandmother had looked impressed, your mother had tried to hide her smile while your father was gripping the fork a bit too tightly - you’d then, commented on the slightly bent condition of one particular cutlery as you helped your mother with the dishes.

[day #542]

convincing jungkook to wear a bow had not been an easy task. he hated anything so formal and restricting, just as he hated the surprised look in your friends and extended family’s faces when they found out that your countdown was still running.

it took a lot of promises and pecks on his cheeks, lips, knuckles - anywhere you could get your mouth on - to get him to stay throughout the reception and after party instead of whisking you away to have your first night at the five-star hotel he’d saved up for almost a year to book.

but you were married and you were beginning to wonder if that was all that mattered.

“i love you, i love you,” you’d echoed the words as he’d slammed you against the wall after the guests left, drunk or sober but sleepy.

“you better,” the smirk he had on had been a smug one - almost as though he was the proudest and happiest man in the world to be able to have you. to call you his.

at least, even if he didn’t say it, you knew his love was more solid and real than your meaningless lies.

[day #248]

“we’ll get through this.” jungkook’s hand swallows yours as he squeezes it in what you assume to be a reassuring gesture - he’s never said anything he doesn’t mean.

but your heart is broken in half and your lower body is sore and hurting from the extraction process. you couldn’t even bear to look at the forming parts of a human - of who could have been your second child. or first.

you don’t know anymore.

“how, jungkook?” you question, eyes boring into his.

“wh-”

“how do you expect me to ‘get through’ losing my second baby?” the first time, you’d planned your child to be born on september just like daddy’s birthday. but on your second month of pregnancy, you’d felt an excruciating pain in your lower abdomen.

you didn’t take a hard fall on your butt. didn’t do any rigorous lifting. didn’t even do any chores - jungkook had insisted.

he’d been the most attentive, if he could, he would have marched up to your boss and demand that she’d let you work from home but you’d stopped him and convinced him that nothing could go wrong when all you had to do was sit on your ass in an air conditioned office until he came and pick you up.

“i lost a child too, ___,” it’s the first time he sounds so vulnerable. so fragile. almost as if another word from you would break him beyond repair.

“please just... don’t leave.” the sob escapes you before you can even suppress it. 

“i won’t- i never will.” he kisses your forehead and climbs into the fit-for-one hospital bed with you after the lights went off and the nurses left.

but the truth hovered in the air like an overdue storm.

every soul who rejected their other half and took on another’s will never truly be complete. or at least, they’d never feel complete.

[day #76]

jungkook hardly gets nervous. the handful of times he did, you could count with your fingers.

the day he proposed to you. the day you both decided to take a pregnancy test for the first time after trying for a baby for months. and today.

“what’s this?” you’re burning holes through the beige colored document that jungkook just slid over to you.

“what it looks like.” is all he says, shoulder line sagged and eyes refusing to meet yours.

“i don’t know what it looks like.” thorny tendrils wrap around your voice - you start to regret it as soon as you see the way he physically flinches at your tone, “what’s it supposed to look like, jungkook?”

“you’ll be happier.” he doesn’t offer you an explanation. and yet those three words ring in your ears like a summon.

“no,” it’s a surprise that your neck hasn’t snapped from the way you’re shaking your head, “no- i’m happy with you.”

“we haven’t been happy in awhile now, ___.” it’s the single drop of tear that mars the back of his hand that rushes to wipe it away as though he’s the one trying to convince himself that he’d do fine without you.

like you would without him.

but you’ve fought too many times. tried too many options. marriage counseling. therapy. even trying for and losing another baby. as if third time’s the charm. as if you’re not doomed from the moment you both sat in his car at target’s parking lot, holding a beer in one hand. alcohol and 3 am conversations can lead to so many things.

“if you want to go back to her-” the lump in your throat forbids you from saying more.

“no- no, i won’t.” jungkook hurriedly refutes, his eyes burning with a sort of disappointment that you’re not sure if you can bear, “how could you even think that i would...”

“people change their minds all the time, jungkook.”  you shrug, trying to be casual about it even though your cheeks are wet and your vision is blurred with tears.

a pause hangs over the kitchen you both shared and spent countless mornings making breakfasts.

“are you...” he starts but you don’t - couldn’t let him finish before you find yourself gasping and sobbing all at once.

but you don’t deny the possibility of your hand picking up the pen and flipping through the pages until you get to the back before scribbling your signature once the countdown strikes zero.

[day #0]

it’s been on zero for quite some time now. on the first week, you spend your days and nights curled up under your sheets. your cheeks don’t even have the time to dry before they’re wet again and there aren’t many occasions where your eyes aren’t swollen.

your heart feels like it’s being pierced by a thousand spears and your body feels like a tonnes of brick are crushing down on it. your legs, they’re shackled by the marriage you refused to nullify and rather teeter on a tightrope on in a guise of a break. separation. whatever they call it.

jimin’s crestfallen expression burns at the back of your mind and jungkook’s tear stained face etches itself at the back of your mind.

one chosen and the other destined.

one loved and the other, you can feel yourself falling for.

but you know better than to prolong both of their sufferings just because the young adult version of you thought you had the excuse of leaving anything and everything for your other half at your disposal. but lies upon lies built up into truths.

“i met him at a restaurant i was supposed to meet a client at,” you explained to the man with dark circles around his eyes and looking lesser than you’d last saw him.

but you probably didn’t look all that flattering either. throwing on what clean clothes you found in your closet and barely able to apply makeup before you left.

“he knows i’m married - he saw the ring.” it still wraps around your finger like a miniature cuff. a promise. a vow.

jungkook’s is missing, a lighter hue marking the spot where his ring finger should be.

“so you’ll finally sign the divorce papers?” his usually velvet voice sounds much harsher. as though he hadn’t used it in awhile. as though his throat had been filled with alcohol instead of words.

“what is it with you and acting like your time’s up? you said...” you have to take a well-needed breath to recenter, “you said you’d never leave,” if it was you from three months ago, you would have wept and cried like a baby. but at the moment, all that’s left is dried up tears and chilled anger.

but perhaps, jungkook’s is the shade of blue. a sort of flame that looked like it would burn less if not at all until you learn that it’s more fatal than its amber counterpart. 

“yeah but weren’t you looking for a way out?” he laughs, the sound almost scratching against your ear drums like sand paper, “i always wondered when you’d stop this whole act... maybe feel a little guilty for tricking me... but your sleeves are full of those, huh?”

tricks, he means.

the last piece of your heart drops straight to the ground.

“what are you-” and yet you still try.

“don’t pretend like you’re all innocent!” the cups on the table shakes when he slams his fist down on the smooth surface. but when he doubles over, hands pressed against his eyes as though physically trying to push the tears back, the heart you thought you’d lost in this long, emotional battle - with whom, you’re not sure - begins to clench painfully.

jungkook might as well tear your chest apart and take the organ in his hands and crush it.

“it’s true, i was never sure if i truly loved you,” the confession is overdue. perhaps even lacking in so many aspects, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?

“but i’m tired of second guessing - i... i want to grow old with you... i want us to buy that barn and start raising chickens and milking cows and adopt a bunch of cats and dogs,” the tears you thought have dried out are now pouring like waterfall, “two’s a family. two and a bunch of cats and dogs’s a family.”

your eyes hurt from the way you wipe your tears with the back of your hand but your heart aches more as you watch your husband try so hard to hold back his own tears, “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

you’re undeserving of his forgiveness and yet when he goes around you and gather you in his arms, you cry and cling onto him like he’s about to fade away any moment.

“i love you, goddamn it,” he curses before kissing the top of your head, “i fucking love you.”

“you think i don’t?” you manage to force out, trying to glare but failing spectacularly as you weep harder, hands crunching his sweatshirt in your grasp.

truth.

fucking truth.

#jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #bts x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #bts x you #jungkook x you #excerpt from a fic i'll never write #okay but this fic is pointless #i just wanted to write something #about A who's lyinn and B who knew about the lie all along #and still went with it #lowkey a true story at some point

[krreader]

seven sins | chapter five.

pairing: bts x reader (min yoongi x reader) fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; historical!au ; princes!bts ; concubine!reader ; sex ; oral sex ; dirty talk ; spanking genre: smut word count: 2.2k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4

summary: even in times such as yours, you still led a privileged life with nothing to ask for. that is until first your father, then your mother died and you were left to care for your two younger sisters. the position for royal physician seemed to be open and with your father having been a general and your mother having been a maid for the queen, you thought you might be able to get it.. little did you know that your visit to the palace would put a completely different offer on the table.

a/n: this story is genuinely so easy to write, like wtf, I’m so excited with each chapter. I haven’t felt like this in a while so I truly hope you all are enjoying it

You had just taken your herbs when somebody entered your room. Thankfully, you had hid them quickly enough as to no questions being asked.

“The queen wants to see you,” the maid said with a little bow.

The queen, huh? The one person you hadn't seen at all during your stay here.

Your mother had always told you stories about her, how her bitterness had consumed her life, having to live with seven sons that were not hers. Nobody officially knew that. Your mother obviously did, because she had seen the pretend baby belly all these times, but in truth, it were consorts like you who had born the seven boys.

And, let's be real, they all did look like they had different mothers.

But why did she want to see you? As far as you knew, she didn’t mingle around consorts like you..

While you had seen the king a couple of times throughout your childhood, the queen not so much. So the chances of her remembering you were almost zero.

So what was this about?

You immediately bowed when you stood in front of her a couple minutes later, “Your Royal Highness.”

“I don't think you and I have officially met,” she smiled, yet it wasn't a genuine one, “Usually, my husband and I pick the Royal Noble Consorts for our sons together, but you, I have not had the pleasure to talk to yet.”

“It was.. a very rushed decision, your majesty.”

“Yes.. I heard. My sons were all very eager,” she got up from her throne and walked the few steps down to be face to face with you.

She grabbed your chin, turned your face from side to side and then looked you up and down.

It was as if she was mustering you.

Like you were a cow.

Disgusting, actually.

“With how many of them have you had sex yet?” she asked.

Very.. straightforward. But you could play that game too.

“Three, your majesty.”

“Three,” she repeated, “Yet, you don't seem to be with child, yet.”

“Your husband, the king, has decided that only Prince Seokjin may get me with child,” you needed an excuse and, thank you Jimin, for giving you the perfect one, “I unfortunately did not have that pleasure yet.”

“My dear Seokjin,” she sounded almost sad, but then her expression hardened again when she looked back into your eyes, “Let me ask you a question my dear. Do you think that men are fools?”

What.. question was that?

And what was this about? Her husband? Her sons? Men in general?

You had to be careful with your answer.

“I would not necessarily say that, your majesty, but I do believe us women are a lot smarter than what men take us for.”

That made her smile, “I agree. Wholeheartedly,” she turned around and walked back to her throne, “Which is why you might be able to fool my husband and sons, but me.. not so easily,” she sat back down and looked at you with her nose high in the air, “I will keep my eye on you, little one.”

This wasn't meant as an encouragement or as a caring statement.

This was a warning, or maybe even a threat.

Like she knew you were hiding something, she just wasn't sure what it was yet.

And you understood why. Other girls only slept with one Prince and got pregnant so quickly, yet you had slept with three so far and you weren't. Yes, your statement about Prince Seokjin was correct, but, again, his mother wasn't stupid. She knew that not all of the boys would care about this ‘rule’ and would just do whatever they pleased.

Then there was also the fact that you had come here within a day, skipped several consort ranks and were now one of the top ones. How? How did you do that? What was your agenda?

She might think you were an assassin, when the reality was a lot less cruel.

Yes, you were an impostor, but only because you needed to convince the king of your medical talents. This wasn't a plot to kill him, this was – if everything went according to plan – a plot to benefit him.

If the queen was already on your trail, then maybe it was time you finally catch the king and talk to him about this. Maybe dragging this out for much longer wasn't a good idea.

And so as soon as the queen dismissed you, you made your way towards the king's quarters. With the guards all knowing you by now, they let you in.. or maybe it was because the king wasn't even there.

However, there was someone there.

Someone that made you gasp.

“I don't think these are your quarters,” Prince Yoongi smiled a little, a book in his hand as he was standing in front of you, but not facing you.

You had seen him from afar a couple of times, but he had never spoken to you before. He seemed to be one of the reserved princes. Something that made him mysterious and interesting.

“I.. am looking for someone, your majesty.”

“I thought you were supposed to be here for us.. I think you might be a bit too young for my father.”

“No!” you quickly said, shaking your head, “I'm not..- that's not..-”

Yoongi chuckled and closed the book, turning around to face you, “I wasn't serious,” now that he was so close for the first time, you could really see his features. His perfect skin and hair, his smile, his eyes.. if anyone had asked you, you would have described him as a young god.

“Oh..”

“So.. what are you really doing here?”

Well, good question, wasn't it? You couldn't exactly tell him, you didn't know him enough. If you came clean to him or any of the other princes, there was no way to know what they would do with this information, neither of them knew your father like the king had known him.

So he knew you weren't here to sleep with the king, but why else could you be here then?

You straightened your back a little, then you bowed.

“I am here for you, your majesty,” smooth. Very smooth, (Y/N).

“Me? My, my,” Yoongi put away the book, then slowly approached you, “How come?”

“I was tasked with giving all seven of you pleasure, yet I've not been able to achieve that task. I would..-” you gulped down hard when his fingertips ran over your cheek, “Like to be with you.”

Yoongi couldn't help but chuckle, “You know, love, usually we ask for the concubines to come to us, not the other way around. But.. I have to say I like your forwardness. Makes you unique from the others. But then again, that's what all of my brothers have said so far. Just how unique you actually are.”

He, just like Hoseok, intimidated you in a good way. They stood tall and made you feel like you were completely theirs in that moment and you liked that.

You liked the way Yoongi's hand came up at the back of your head and pulled you close until he could kiss you. You liked the way he dominated you with something so simple.

But you had to remind yourself that you were still standing in his father's quarters and while doing it in a bed would be a nice change for once, this bed was probably a bad choice. Because while his father might scold him, he would definitely kill you for it.

Yoongi seemed to notice your hesitation and began to laugh.

“Alright. I see. Let's go somewhere more private, shall we?”

You would have assumed that like with Jeongguk, you'd just go into the nearest available – semi-quiet – room, but Yoongi took you to his room instead.

“Some of my brothers have already enjoyed their time with you.. but today,” he stood behind you, opened up your hanbok and then immediately pulled off the undergarments, “You are all mine.. understood?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

And while the rest of the princes wanted to be called by their name, Yoongi actually seemed to like it when you called him by his title.

“Bend over for me,” he whispered into your ear, shivers running down your spine, but you did so without hesitation.

You walked to his bed, bending down until your upper body was lying on his satin sheets. The coldness and softness of them against your nipples alone made you want to moan.

“We used to never talk about concubines, you know? A comment here or there, maybe, but we never had a real conversation about it,” Yoongis fingertips ran over your ass, then his hand slapped the soft skin hard, “But my younger brothers can not stop talking about you.. about how soft you felt and how warm you were. How good you felt around them.. god, I got hard just thinking about my cock being buried so deep inside of you. But I'm a good older brother, you know? I thought I'd let the younger ones enjoy themselves first,” you could hear him undress himself and the more he talked dirty like that, the more anticipation started building within you, “But you coming to me like that.. how am I supposed to refuse?”

“Please, your majesty,” you whined.

The room was silent for a moment, then Yoongi let out a dark chuckle, “Oh, you are a special one..” and with one swift move, he buried himself inside of you with absolutely zero warning, until all of his shaft disappeared.

You thought he might let you adjust to his thickness, but Yoongi was eager to feel every inch of you. His thrusts were fast and hard, his hand continuously coming down hard on your ass cheek.

You didn't even try to hide your moans this time, mostly because it was obvious that he fully enjoyed it when you screamed for him.

“How are you so tight,” he bit down on his lower lip, grabbed one of your legs and pushed it up the bed so he had a different angle he could pound into you.

And god, that angle.. that angle did it for you.

The only one you had reached your height with so far was Jimin, but now Yoongi managed to make you come within the first five minutes and you knew that you would come again since he didn't stop there.

He didn't even give you time to come down from your first height, the only two seconds of rest you got was when he turned you around and pushed you a little further up the bed so he was now looking at you while fucking you into oblivion.

He was holding up your legs, never once looking anywhere other than your eyes and while holding his gaze wasn't easy, you didn't look away either.

His eyes were dark, filled with nothing but lust and he was practically eating you up with them.

“You're a good little slut for us, aren't you?”

“Yes,” you moaned, making Yoongi chuckle.

He wasn't used to concubines talking back, but it spurred him on even more. It made him go even harder on you, it made him want to take this even further.

And there was always one thing he had wanted to try, but never dared to ask anyone.. even though the concubines were there to make him happy.

“Get on your knees,” he ordered as he pulled out of you.

While you did so without hesitation, even if confused, he continued to stroke himself.

He grinned down at you, gently brushing through your hair, before he grabbed it all and tilted your head back, “Open your mouth for me, beautiful.”

Have you done this before? No. Did your instincts kind of tell you what to do? Absolutely.

And you weren't stupid, you knew what was about to happen.

And.. you didn't hate it.

He shoved his cock inside of your mouth, letting out the longest and most pleasurable sounding moan you had ever heard in your life.

It was clear that you weren't experienced, but he didn't seem to be either. This was new for both of you, so you just experimented a little. You listened to his moans that got louder each time you sucked a little harder, each time your tongue slid over the base of his cock and each time you kissed his balls.

A part of him wanted to drag this out longer just because the feeling was so new and exciting, but soon he couldn't control himself anymore.

The sensation he was feeling, the power he felt in that moment.. it was all too overwhelming.

“I'm..- I'm going to..-” he tried to warn you, but you didn't even pull back, despite knowing what was about to happen.

And fuck, that turned him on even more.

He came so hard, spilled himself fully inside of your mouth and even though the taste was bitter and it felt weird, you just.. gulped it down. Part of you thought it would be rude to spit his.. royal seed out. That sounded weird, but it was true.

And Yoongi loved that.

It made him feel like you fully were his, even if just for a moment.

His chest was heaving heavily, his face completely flushed, but he pulled you back up and gently wiped over your mouth with his thumb.

“Stay with me.. the entire day,” he whispered, “I want you again.. and again.. and again,” he grinned, pushing you back onto his bed.

And then all that could be heard from within his rooms were your giggles, mixed with the occasional moans. 

#bts imagine #bts scenario #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #min yoongi #yoongi #mine

[wondereads]

Personal Recommendation (2/14/20)

The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley

I’m doing something new this week! I’ll be reviewing every book in The Sisters Grimm series. Each will get a small paragraph and get a rating out of ten, and then I’ll rate the series overall. Hope you guys enjoy it! Please keep in mind this will contain spoilers for the later books, so don’t read ahead if you don’t want some major spoilers!

#1: The Fairy-Tale Detectives     9/10

The very beginning! Sabrina and Daphne Grimm, after a year in foster care with some dubious caretakers, are being sent to live with their grandmother, who, until a few days ago, they didn’t know existed. Granny Relda lives in Ferryport Landing, a typical small town in almost all aspects except for the significant population of fairytale characters or Everafters. The first book serves as a good introduction to Buckley’s world. The sisters have been shielded from fairytales their entire lives, so it’s easy to insert explanations for the inexperienced reader. It also very quickly sets up Sabrina and Daphne’s characters by using their reaction to Granny Relda and her fairytale reveal. Daphne, being a younger, more sheltered child, accepts it wholeheartedly and is excited to get involved in solving magical mysteries. Sabrina, after protecting her sister from nutcases for a year, has a much more cynical outlook, and it takes an actual giant scooping Relda up for her to believe. There’s also some memorable introductions for other important characters such as Mr. Canis, Puck, Mirror, and Mayor Charming. In terms of the plot, Buckley consistently creates mysteries that have twists but aren’t too difficult to follow for late elementary students.

#2: The Unusual Suspects     7/10

Things are starting to get a little more intense. Sabrina and Daphne are required to go to school after being preoccupied with chasing giants around the countryside. Unfortunately, especially for Sabrina, who wants to regain some semblance of normalcy, something is killing the teachers at school. I forgot how gruesome the murders were. I also forgot that Sabrina is in sixth grade. This particular book always got on my nerves. Sabrina is clearly having some issues; her parents are missing, she’s trapped in a town with fairytale characters, she can’t see to escape humiliation either at the hands of Puck or her classmates, and now people are being killed left and right. And yet, her family refuses to see that she needs help and decides to reprimand her constantly instead. The villain for this book is particularly disturbing. I must warn readers-child manipulation and abuse is a common theme in these books. If you couldn’t already catch on in the first book, it becomes obvious here that Sabrina has some grudges against the magical community.

#3: The Problem Child     7/10

This book has a sort of in-between feeling to me. Sabrina comes upon a maniacal little girl dressed in red who is holding her currently enchanted parents captive. The little girl, obsessed with recreating her family, is convinced they are her own parents and controls a jabberwocky, her ‘kitty’. All she needs is a granny and a doggy-Granny Relda and Mr. Canis. Everything in this book pours into the next ones, while, unlike the other books, there isn’t much of a self-contained plot. Red comes more into play in Tales from the Hood and The Everafter War, the election sets up Magic and Other Misdemeanors, and the vorpal blade and Puck’s injury lead into Once Upon a Crime. This book, however, introduces Uncle Jake, one of the most interesting characters in terms of development, and it also begins the problem of Sabrina’s magic addiction. The events of this book contribute to Sabrina’s distrust of magic after she has some run-ins with her addiction. It is also when you maybe start to develop some affection for Charming, despite his over-inflated ego.

#4: Once Upon a Crime     10/10

This one is my personal favorite. After Puck’s run-in with the jabberwocky, the Grimms take an emergency trip to New York, Sabrina and Daphne’s old home. There they plead the king of Faerie, Oberon, to heal Puck. Unfortunately, Oberon is poisoned within hours of their arrival, and Relda, of course, takes the case. This book is so much fun because in Ferryport Landing they just sprinkle the whole town in forgetful dust. In New York, Everafters need real jobs and a way to cover their tracks as beings who don’t age. The Wizard of Oz works at Macy’s, Ebenezer Scrooge makes a living as a medium, and pirates such as Long John Silver feed off of Wall Street. It also addresses the downsides of that. Everafters don’t age; some of them don’t even look human. It comes as a shock to Sabrina, but her mother, Veronica Grimm, was secretly working with the New York Everafters to fix their problems. I feel that Sabrina finding a connection to her mother through the Everafter community is the first step she takes toward accepting her role as a Grimm.

#5: Magic and Other Misdemeanors     8/10

The conflict between humans and Everafters starts to take center stage. Someone in Ferryport Landing is stealing powerful magical artifacts, causing rips in time, but the Grimms have to split their attention with Mayor Heart’s new tyrannical rule. This is where the series begins to take a darker turn. The new mayor, the Queen of Hearts, and Sheriff Nottingham are set on running every human in Ferryport Landing out of town, and the divides between human and Everafter are becoming more pronounced by the day. The rips in time are particularly interesting, especially Sabrina and Daphne’s trip to the future, which really raises the stakes going forward. Also, the idea of a past Grimm arriving in town, giving Heart and Nottingham a chance to end the entire family, is very nervewracking. Also, the concept of Everafter-human relationships and how that would work presents some interesting conflicts.

#6: Tales from the Hood     10/10

There’s nothing I love more than a fractured fairytale. Intent on getting rid of the Grimms’ staunch protector, Heart and Nottingham put Mr. Canis, or the Big Bad Wolf, on trial. Some investigation in order to clear his name reveals that the story of Little Red Riding Hood might not be all true. Technically, the entire series is based on fairytales, but this is the first book where those stories are actually challenged. The actual story of Little Red Riding Hood is amazing, and it also ties into all the other stories the Wolf is present in. Also, I love Red, the sane Red, and I always get so happy when she’s cured. Once again, Sabrina clashes strongly with her family in this one, for understandable reasons. I’m less inclined to side with her on this one, but she definitely learns her lesson.

#7: The Everafter War     8/10

The Grimms are finally united! Henry and Veronica Grimm are woken up from their magical sleep, but Henry, having too many bad memories, wants to leave town immediately. Unfortunately, the Scarlet Hand has taken over all of Ferryport Landing and only a small resistance stands in their way. There’s a lot of family drama in this one. The dynamics of Sabrina, Daphne, and their parents are all out of whack after spending over a year apart. On one hand, they now have parental support again. On the other, Henry can’t seem to conceptualize that Daphne is, in fact, not five anymore. If that isn’t enough drama for you, Puck finds out he and Sabrina are married in the future, and Snow and Charming are caught up in a soap opera of their own. Also, not to mention the plethora of betrayals in this book. The plot is really picking up here.

#8: The Inside Story     8/10

This one took quite some imagination. After the reveal of the Master’s identity as their own beloved Mirror, Sabrina, Daphne, and Puck pursue him and Pinocchio through the Book of Everafter, a living book filled with fairytales that could actually change history. I find it absolutely hilarious that the kids absolutely refuse to follow the story no matter what. Also, this is where Sabrina starts coming into her own. She’s going through a rough patch in this book. As would anyone whose best friend turned out to be the leader of a magical terrorist organization. By the way, if you are connected to these characters in any way, Mirror’s betrayal will hit you like a punch to the gut. She’s having trouble trusting her judgement, which will have her come back stronger than ever. Also, it’s nice to see her and Puck get through a couple sentences without a barrage of insults. Finally, Relda was such a badass in this book. If you didn’t love her before, you definitely love her now.

#9: The Council of Mirrors     9/10

It’s time for a happily ever after. With Mirror running loose in Ferryport Landing and the rebellion in tatters, things are looking bleak. Especially when the twenty-four remaining magic mirrors issue a prophecy putting everyone’s fate in the hands of Sabrina and Daphne Grimm. Sabrina starts out pretty broken in this book. She’s been betrayed, her grandmother is possessed by an evil mirror, and now everyone is expecting her to lead an army. I absolutely love that when she gets the push she needs from the mirrors it plays to her strengths. She’s a master of planning and subterfuge, and it’s so nice to see it come out. On a less chipper note, I hate Atticus with everything in me, and I was so happy he ended the way he did. In terms of Mirror, I found it poetic, but also so typical of a kid’s book, that he was defeated by the one thing he never had: love. Finally, the reason this book doesn’t get a 10/10 is because I felt the epilogues were kind of rushed and unrealistic. However, they don’t have much impact on the book overall, and I still loved most of it!

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

The Sisters Grimm is one of my favorite series from childhood. The characters are realistic, relatable, and get great development. Kids books are great because there’s no worries about the idea being too juvenile. This book could never be an adult book, the ideas in it are too silly. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing, and I find the crazy ideas and cheesy lessons absolutely charming. It gives some unexpected sides to some well-known characters, and the amount of thought that went into incorporating classic and even more obscure characters into the modern world was crazy and very amusing at times. I also suspect that this series is the root of my fondness for fractured fairytales. I would recommend this book to people who like modern fantasy, sibling relationships, and fairytale characters in a decidedly un-mystical setting.

The Author

Michael Buckley: American, 51 years old, also wrote N.E.R.D.S. and Undertow

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

#recommendations #reviews #books #the sisters grimm #michael buckley #children’s #fantasy #fairytales