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#she's the type of person that would randomly use a line from a play in battle kirima would realize and make fun of her
hitemwiththeoop · 3 months
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i've read many fanfics written before trok came out that dwelve on the topic of kyoshi's actress facet since we didn't know the reason she wore the face paint back then so i made it my personal hc that she eventually did become a sporadic actress because the flying opera company forced her to act on public performances at yokoya along with them and watch classical plays like the peach blossom fan and the like and she ended up actually liking it and taking it seriously but denied it because of hark's relation to theater
the actress part would've helped immensely as the avatar but what i'm mostly saying is she could've been a huge theater nerd alright
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kyuusberry · 3 months
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assign you're moots to an idol & a trope for valentines 🤭? and explain why 🤭?
key to your heart | moots - imagine
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pairing: moots x idols
genre/theme: fluff, many different tropes lol
warnings: kissing, cursing
notes: all of my stories, oneshots, drabbles, ect are all fiction (fake/made up) except for the idols!! my stories do not depict how these idols actually act or their sexual orientation (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, aromantic, ect). the only time you'll ever read semi-true things is if it's my headcanons then i do use some facts from kprofiles and sometimes youtube videos but that's it.
a/n: before we start, i'm going to sincerely apologize because i've never done this before, so this will be a struggle.. the only time you'll ever see me write male idols as well because i gotta create a variety for this type of stuff!! also, i only have 3 moots atm, so that's sad lmao
credits (tropes): @delusionisaplace , @urfriendlywriter
cis men, homophobes, racists, 20+, smut accounts dni
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female idols:
kai (@rosiehrs): i feel like ningning (aespa) tbhh! your personalities match a lot! and i think a stay with me tonight trope where ningning would be playing with your hair while watching a movie and after the movie, you say that you have to leave, but she doesn't want you to leave!! she would say something along the lines of "don't leave me alone.. please?" she'd be attached to your hip, wanting to shower you in hugs and kisses all of the time!! just wants to show her affection :((
ash (@aeriniee): giselle (aespa) with a grumpy x sunshine trope!! gigi is totally the type of person to not show her affection cause she's too shy!! just randomly hugs you and hides her face in your neck!! or whenver you hug her, she either stiffly hugs you back or just stands there like an npc, all flustered. she looks and seems so mean all of the time, but she's such a softie on the inside, spoiling you with gifts and stuff.. chose this because i think you're honestly like this trope sm!! so nice and loving :( these r just sounding like headcanons at this point LMAO
yin (@yinyinwon/@so-lychee): wonyoung!! (iz*one & ive) and maybe like a fake dating trope??? cause wony wants to get back at her ex or smth lmaoo!! she'd end up falling in love though! i feel like it would be something along the lines of her asking you (more like bribing you) in the bathroom because she wants to get back at her ex for leaving her, trying to convince them to take her back, telling you stuff like, "they're looking. kiss me. now." until she falls in love with you, completely forgetting about her ex and telling you stuff like, "forget them, i'm yours now." gdhkaldskxndbv i want this for myself aw chose this 'cause i lowkey think you'd fit with wony!! ur posts are so pretty and your personality is very beautiful lol
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male idols:
kai (@rosiehrs): hyunjin (skz) for sure!! with an academic rivalry or something! he'd be so cocky whenever he gets better grades than you by like 1 point or something!! bothers you 24/7. always appears when you're doing something other than working/doing schoolwork like taking a break or texting your parents!! everyone thinks he has a crush on you and he always denies it!! i chose this trope and idol cause i think you're very nice and smart!! picked hyunjin 'cause he fits this lol (in my imagination)
ash (@aeriniee): soobin (txt) with one-sided love probs?? like he really likes you and he tries not to make it obvious?? but everyone thinks he's obvious!! loves giving you gifts and affection (hugs, holding hands, ect) such a sweet baby tbhhh!! says stuff like, "your smile is pretty." while smiling so sweetly gkdlksjb based this off of your post asking if u should come out as lesbian cause you haven't liked a boy since the 8th grade LMAO, but soobin cause ur both very funny and caring!! leader material as well.
yin (@yinyinwon/@so-lychee): jungwon (enhypen) ofccc! (it was because of ur user..) a chaotic duo, i feel like! nothing romantic, just pure friendship! you two would do everything together, some crazy shit too.. people would honestly think you two were drunk!! would be something along the lines of, "bitch, what the hell are you doing!" "i'm walking!-" then one of you runs into a pole or whatever.. chose this because you two are the sweetest people everrr! so adorable <33
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a/n: hope you enjoyeddd!! this made my head hurt a lot lmao, so much thinking and trying to match idols.. mooties, i hope these didn't make you uncomfortable lmaooo!!! love you guys and happy valentines <33 i'll take you guys all on a virtual date sometime /j
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thelunarfairy · 4 months
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Holiiii, What would be the differences between a date and a love relationship regarding Amanene and Hananene :) ?
How could I compare them, oh, the thought was haunting me a few days ago, Amane or Hanako, same person, different personalities.
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If I may begin, let's go to the first one, the one who keeps the words to himself. The one who blushes just at the sight of the girl he didn't really know yet.
Let's be fair, we won't use Amane from the PP arc as an example, that's because he's Hanako, equipped with all the experience of dealing with Nene, of touching her, of hugging her. Ah, that Amane is shy about Nene's actions, but he's the same shameless guy as before.
Let's talk about Amane in life, the same one who was crying while hiding behind the classroom curtains. What would this Amane be like?
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Shyness wasn't that incapacitating, it was one that made it difficult to bring words from within. He would be that boy in the back of the room, who would arrive early just to wait for her arrival.
Allowing him to sink a little into his own anxiety "will she come today?" then, a unique glow would appear in his eyes, which only she caused in him. How her voice would give him a unique kind of happiness, especially when she called his name.
He imagining himself in a small eternity with her, would the perfect date be in a planetarium? Let's digress a little about this possibility. How he would insist on picking her up from home, fearing that her parents might not like him.
Getting nervous and exchanging a few words in an attempt to surprise. A silly conversation here and there until arrival. Then he would allow to show her old love. His eyes shining as he talked nonstop. Tell me how many stars there are in the sky Amane.
Maybe she could count how many there were in those bright eyes. He would show her a piece of his happiness, which he intensely wants to share with her. And, when the moment became propitious, when the stars no longer made him speak, the touches would come.
How nervous he would be thinking about the different possibilities of how he would touch her hand, how he would get closer to smell her, it would be so difficult for him. It will be? Despite his shyness, Amane is still Hanako. He would have no difficulty in telling a few funny jokes, in disguising one thing or another when shy.
He would take her out for something to eat while they talked silly things, a smile here and there. Then, the goodbye, when he took her home, hand in hand, walking slowly so that he would never reach her house. He would like to tie his hands together so that they would never let go again.
They would walk while he would look at the night sky, thinking about what to say, wondering if he would really have enough courage to kiss her goodbye, oh, he didn't think much about it. The body would move first. His hands playing with her hair, wanting to endlessly intertwine it with his fingers.
A hand on her waist pulling her close, breathless breathing, silence, love is speaking. The kiss that in a few details would give him unceasing happiness, at least while it lasted.
This is Amane.
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Hanako is another kind of work of art, a poetically complex being. Can we adjective him like that? The king of unfunny jokes, they wouldn't go out on a date he would call, it would always be randomly provoked. Yes, something he managed to make happen without calling directly.
"Let's go to the festival from here!" we could translate it with, "come to the festival with me and not him". That's how Hanako works. Between the lines. He would make chance happen, some time when just the two of them could be together, without committing himself to the point of making it clear that he asked her out.
Hanako wouldn't have any problems with hugs, touches, holding hands, it was something simple, that's because he would always try to show it was a type of game that was just his. How comforting he would be when he crossed his arms around her neck.
How they would have fun with little things, without noticing that they would be walking around holding hands. Maybe Nene would like to hear a nice word or two, but she would listen to some stupid joke to disguise the truth, to hide the red in his cheeks, to swallow the words he can't say.
Between the lines.
But he would compensate her, not with words, but with gestures. A subtle approach, pulling her against his chest while he clings to her hair, she would hear his breathing, feel his heartbeat. Slowly he would move away, as if it were tortuous to do so.
He would allow their eyes to meet, weave his fingers between theirs, without allowing his eyes to escape hers. Then, he would slowly approach and revel in the sweet sensation of her taste.
Their farewell wouldn't last long, but at fourteen years old, everything is infinite.
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robinbuckleyluvr · 2 years
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⊹˚˖⁺ Dating Robin Buckley Headcanons
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masterlist | requests
Pairings: Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader
Summary: headcanons on how i think robin would be as a girlfriend!
Warnings: none!
Notes: i love writing headcanons this was so much fun! its a bit shorter than usual but i hope yall enjoy!
also fun fact i posted this 40 mins ago but forgot to add tags and had to rewrite everything how fun!
being honest she’d be super awkward at first
she would wait for u to do everything
for example: wait for you to reach out and hold her hand
wait for you to kiss her
wait for u to hug her even!
she’d be a super nice and cute gf regardless
i am 100% sure she’d pick up random flowers from the sidewalk and give them to you
I saw this flower while walking earlier today, and it made me think of you so..
she is awful at flirting
i just know it
she’s the type to randomly use those cheesy and awful pick up lines
and maybe even mess them up sometimes
say the wrong stuff and whatnot
but in the end you’d both end up laughing at them
Y/N, Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you’re a-cutie!
Robin, are you okay?
now moving on
she would get so nervous whenever you stay silent whenever she's rambling
she'd be like
are you ok? am i bothering you?
that sort of thing
and you'd happily tell her she isn't bothering you
at all!!!!
(personally i would be super interested in whatever she's rambling abt)
and then robin would just be like panicking on the inside and forget what she was talking about
and oh my god
i am sure she is like a super awesome kisser
but would be insecure about it
in her head she probably thinks shes the worst kisser in the entire universe.
but you'll be like
ur a great kisser dw
and oh my god
i feel like she'd hate kissing in silence
she'd be like "we should play music!"
(i agree w u robin)
she will make u listen to fleetwood mac, david bowie, and madonna.
i feel like she would absolutely love cuddling
like she wouldn't care if you are the one holding her or the other way around
as long as it's cuddling!
she would be like
$@"!!?!
the whole time
(same while kissing)
now..
y'all remember the headcanon i talked abt the other day about the friendship bracelets?
we are bringing that back
robin would make u so many bracelets
she would make some for ur birthday
christmas
ur anniversary
everything!
she'd make some of ur fav color
she'd make matching ones
every type of bracelet u can think of??
robin will make you one.
in conclusion?
robin would be the best gf ever!!!
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Text
a september chapter
summary: two different scenarios play out with robin and eddie
WC: 2.4K
warnings: cursing, use of drugs, one mention of killing, a quick nonconsensual kiss. should be it.
A/N: ALL PARTS UNDER THE TAG -The Byers Harrington Story-
give me your opinion on the eddie part of this story, cause i just wanted to do a moment were reader does something hella stupid, because shes human and we all do dumb shit.
shout out to my dad and Beyoncé since their birthday is sep4. also i was on the phone with my dad and he would not stop talking about greta van fleet, man is obsessed.
previous chapter  next chapter
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September 4, 1984
“Robin,”
“(Y/n)”
“Do you ever feel…do you ever wonder what it would feel like to be-to be someone normal?”
A beat of silence followed.
“What- what do you mean, ‘to be someone normal?’…(Y/n), what?”
You don’t know how you even thought of that question.
You and Robin were just sitting on the abandoned bleachers during your lunch period, the cool autumn breeze would join the two of you and cut through the fabric of your coats and hit deep in your bones. The bleachers were your go-to spot now at school, wanting away from everyone? bleachers, eating lunch? bleachers, wanting to have conversations about certain topics and not want anyone butting their nose in? bleachers. Maybe that’s why you randomly chose to ask the question.
It was a pretty loaded question, it had a deeper meaning underneath, but you weren’t gonna just say the actual question out loud. There were two versions of the question you wanted to ask, ‘what if you could be normal? Normal as in being a part of the popular group, someone who had a pretty normal family life, didn’t have to worry about being picked on just for breathing in someone’s direction.’ And the other version you wanted to ask was something you can’t outright say without digging your grave, ‘what if you were normal? Normal as in…as in someone who didn’t have to worry about asking that one person the wrong question or doing the wrong thing in public and worrying about possibly getting killed.’
You turned to Robin who was already staring at you, her eyes bugging and her teeth worrying at the plush skin of her lips. Her freckled face was turning a bit red, whether it was from the cold wind hitting her face or because of your abrupt question, you weren’t hundred percent sure. Just from hanging out and interacting with Robin for almost a year you could tell, you could tell she was someone you wanted to keep in your life. She was someone you would be able to tell your deepest secrets to and she would somehow be able to keep them from spilling even though her mouth sometimes runs faster than her brain when forming sentences. She wouldn’t judge you and would understand some of the things you’ve had to deal with because both of you came from similar home lives.
Robin felt almost like a haven in a way for you. You weren’t sure if you could even describe out loud what you feel, what you mean, but she just felt safe to be around. It was nice to have that feeling with someone who wasn’t in your family, it gave you a type of hope. Hope that you would be able to find this comfort and safety with non family members, you could have your blood family, people who will be there until the day you die, and down the line in the future, there will be people who you meet and make this connection with that makes you happy.
You hesitantly reached out your hands to try and hold one of Robin’s that was on the bench beside her. She must have seen the action you were doing because she held the hand palm side up and wiggled her fingers in an open invitation. With your clammy hands you held onto Robin’s like a raft and what you were about to tell her could be the push to send you over the edge of the waiting waterfall.
“Robin, what I’m about to tell you, I’m telling you ‘cause I feel safe with you. The only other people who know about this is my family, and even then I was nervous to tell them about this part of myself.”
“(Y/n), please don’t tell me you’re pregnant or- or that you murdered someone. Because I don’t think I could keep that last one hidden for long.” You giggled at Robin’s nerves as they calmed your racing heart down just by a beat or two. After a moment you inhaled a deep breath through your nose and exhaled with your eyes closed before blurting out, “I like girls, the same way I like boys.”
It felt like the world stopped moving, even the wind stilled. You weren’t sure if your heart was still beating or if you were breathing. With your eyes still closed, you weren’t able to see the expression on Robin’s face. You couldn’t see that her mouth was agape with surprise, her lips moving but no thought was coming to mind as she was processing what just happened. You couldn’t see the look in her sea green eyes, the sullen gaze pulling her brow, the slight heartbreak peeking into her iris. 
Only when you felt the tiny pressure of her hand giving a squeeze did you slowly open your lids. The sunlight blinded you for a moment and then you saw her. She was holding your hands with both of hers and was fully facing you now, her legs crossed over each other on the dirty bleachers. She was just observing you, her eyes taking in every inch of your face, from the stray brow hairs to the tiny pimples along your jaw. When her eyes finally settled on yours a warming smile overcame her.
“(Y/n), I will keep this secret until the day I die. And just because you like girls doesn’t change anything about you, you are still the wonderful, amazing, extremely kind-hearted (Y/n) Byers that I have come to know as my best friend. And no one can change my mind about that.”
Your eyes stung from the tears gathering, but they were tears of relief, of joy, nothing to be sad about today. Moving your hands out of Robin’s grasp you moved your arms to pull her into a hug around her shoulders and her’s flew to a warm grip on your waist.
With your face buried into Robin’s dirty blonde hair, you smiled and whispered, “I love you, Robs.”
You weren’t sure if she could hear your declaration, but you got an answer back, “and I love you too, Byers.”
September 20, 1984
The car was clouded in the hazy and thick smoke, the dark interior of the van making it seem like you were sucked into a black hole. The cushioned rug in the back of the van made your high feel extra warm like you were wrapped in a giant blanket burrito. The lids of your eyes felt like twenty-pound weights and you were struggling to keep them open, the whites of your eyes overtaken with red veins inching their way closer to your iris. Your lips tug into a Cheshire grin against your will and light chuckles make their way out through your open lips.
“What's got you so giggly, Byers?”
You giggled before replying, “absolutely fucking nothing, Munson. This weed is just perfect,” you ended on another round of giggles.
You heard the shuffling and felt the movement of the van before you saw Eddie now leaning over you. His arms were on either side of your shoulders, his curly dark hair just barely falling past his shoulders, Eddie says he wants to grow his hair out, really living his rockstar fantasy to the max.
He was grinning mischievously down from above, his eyes darting over your face, you think, your vision is kinda hazy and blurring at the moment. You reached out a heavy hand and swirled your cement-feeling fingers into the dark tendrils of Eddie’s growing mane.
“Pretty,” again another string of giggles.
Seeing the grin growing stronger on Eddie’s lips made you copy his actions. Then the feeling of skin on your forehead and then your cheeks made you feel warm inside, the feeling of Eddie’s soft, but slightly rough fingers brushing hair away from your face made you think of him just for a split second.
“Steve?”
“I’m sorry babe, it’s just Eddie.”
“Oh, oh that’s okay,” and then you did something bizarre for your medicated brain.
Leaning onto your elbow that was still on the floor you leveled yourself just a breath away from Eddie’s face, the tips of your nose barely touching. With a glance and not a coherent thought running through your mind, you closed the small space and-
“(Y/n)!”
It was now open air, the ghostly feeling of Eddie’s lips against yours gone in a second. He was away from your body and now sat beside your stretched-out legs, one hand laying on your lower leg, just below your knee. Fully pushing your upper body off the floor and then pulling your legs into your chest making Eddie drop his hand with a thunk.
It took just that second to understand what you did and why you did it. It makes you feel an acidic feeling bubbling within your intestines, worried for a second you might throw up. You tried swallowing a forming lump in your throat, but it wouldn’t leave.
“Eddie, I’m- I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t- fuck I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Hey, hey, (Y/n), it’s okay. You're high, you're not thinking fully. I know you didn’t mean it.”
You sniffled the oncoming snot, “I’m sorry, I- I just thought maybe…fuck I’m so stupid. Thinking if I just kissed you I might stop thinking about Steve for one second.”
A moment of silence passed in the small space of the van, it was still foggy inside from the hotbox, so you could only hear your breathing which sounded like a fog horn in your ears. You can’t even fully tell what’s happening with Eddie, yeah you sobered up just a fraction from your high, but you still couldn’t comprehend everything around you.
And then you heard a deep sigh, “well, I’m flattered you thought I would help your little problem, but I don’t swing that way, babe.”
That got just a baby of a chuckle from your throat, but then you went back to moping. You felt awful and disgusted with yourself, you tried to- no you kissed Eddie while the both of you were stoned. It’s like you got possessed by a frat boy in that split-second decision, and you fully hated yourself for that. You started to gather your belongings, throwing your coat back onto your shoulders, rushing to make sure nothing from your bag dropped onto the floor, and then you were rushing to throw your shoes back on.
“(Y/n)-”
“I- I should probably head home, my mom’s probably worried. Eddie, I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want me aro-”
“(Y/n)!” Eddie raised his voice an octave and held you by your shoulders.
“It’s okay, it was just a quick peck. And I know you didn’t mean any harm from it. Just- just let me take you home, okay? I don’t want you walking by yourself.”
Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, nostrils flared and brows pinched in the middle, you stared at Eddie with a worrying glaze over your eyes.
“Please, (Y/n), at least for my peace of mind. Just let me take you home.”
You were hesitant, you know Joyce wouldn’t like you walking home by yourself, but you felt like you couldn’t look Eddie in the eyes. Finally, you gave in, for Joyce.
With just a timid nod of your head, Eddie moved to the driver's seat and started up the engine. You stayed behind still in the back for a couple of minutes until you decided to join in the front.
“Ah, finally, some company. I thought there was a cemetery around with how quiet everything was.”
A quick chuckle from you, “Eddie, again I’m so sor-“
“(Y/n), I already told you, I forgive you. Everyone does stupid shit when high, especially after you took a nine-month tolerance break. Yeah, you weren’t gonna be very lucid for a lot of things. I’m just happy you’re doing it with me because if it was someone else, I would be extremely worried for you.”
You turned your head to look at Eddie as he drove down the quiet highway, the moonlight and sometimes a lamppost would illuminate down through the front window. The moonlight bathed Eddie in a ghostly white sheen that looked hauntingly beautiful, it hurt your heart in a way, you weren’t sure of the reason, but it just did.
With your finger twiddling and picking at the skin in your lap, you spoke up, “Eddie-“
“I said I already forgive you, babe.”
“No, it’s not that- well not exactly, but also I should probably just stop smoking now. Anyway, I’m sorry that kissed you because I was trying to rid Steve freaking Harrington from my mind. That was a dick move.”
“Byers, a question for you,” Eddie spoke with a teasing tone.
“Why did you have to fall for Steve Harrington? ‘King Steve’ ‘The Hair’, just why? You’re way too cool for him. Plus he doesn’t deserve you in the slightest, because what I see is that all of a sudden he’s now taking an interest in you, and it’s got me a bit worried about his intentions with you.”
That last part got a snort out of you, “his intentions with me? this isn’t the 1700s, also that’s something for Jonathan to mostly worry about.”
“Yeah, well I see myself growing as your friend slash brother figure, although you trying to kiss me is very Luke and Leia of you.”
“Eddie, gross! Please can you…can you- ugh!”
The two of you filled the silence with your giggles and sometimes ugly laughing that escaped from deep within. The low humming of whatever cassette Eddie had in the car already was just soothing background noise along with the noise of the van as it drove just a bit of the speed limit. The starry night sky and the moonlit your path back home.
When you turned your head to look out the window and only saw the darkness of the never-ending woods, shivers crept up your spine and goosebumps arose on your arms. The knowing that something dangerous could be lurking in the shadows, just watching, waiting to pounce. It made you uneasy.
Tapping on your upper arm stole your attention, “You okay, Byers?”
You looked between Eddie and the open road, “yeah, probably just getting sleepy.”
You lied right through your teeth.
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basedkikuenjoyer · 2 years
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Bonus post! Who knows why I'd randomly drop an iconic panel from Yu Yu Hakusho? Excellent 90s shonen if you're unfamiliar. The beloved breakout hit from Yoshihiro Togashi of later Hunter x Hunter fame. Well, Oda plugged it recently as part of a contribution to an exhibit about Togashi’s work. Bare minimum, I love the idea we have the same favorite part of what has a good shot at being my second favorite manga. That said, I can’t help notice where it might have always been an influence on one of my newer favorite parts of my favorite manga.
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If you don’t know or need a refresher, Kurama is one of our main quartet. Amanuma is the kid. He’s dead. A shonen hero straight-up killed a child who was saying-without-saying-it groomed into being a part of the villain’s plan. Big theme of testing the heroes morals. Main man Yusuke had a great fight earlier in the saga playing with how much he struggled to kill a human for the first time. Dr. Kamiya deserved it if anyone did. Amanuma? No...he was a lonely kid duped into a sick game where the heroes had to kill him or be stalled until apocalypse. 
That wasn’t obvious until kind but calculating Kurama took the stage. Before that it was a silly early 90s video game power fight. The mentor Genkai calls it out explicitly as the “cruelest, dirtiest path to victory” but that its the only option. Kurama beats the Game Master by rattling him, breaking his composure. Spelling out the villain’s trap to the child as he does it to us. Ice cold. The face we get as the others check on him after says it all:
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He's angry he had to do it. He doesn’t want to talk about it. Later we’ll use a mind reader to divulge he’s very bothered by it. No one faults him, he stepped up and did it no matter how much it'd weigh on him because he knew he alone could do it without flinching. The anime's dub has such a chilling line letting him give the next episode preview, "Regret is a different beast when you live for centuries." It's stuck with me for so long. Apparently it stuck with Oda too.
Does it mean anything? Who knows? But it was already one of the things I liked about Kiku/Kanjuro. Very reminiscent of a Chapter Black Saga conflict. The first time especially already reminded me of just this moment. The second Kanjuro blurts out where Momo is Kiku slips on the mask and steps up to deal with him quickly. None of them had the heart...she was used to shoving hers aside. 
Then, already talked a lot about the Rurouni Kenshin callbacks but Kenshin & Kurama are cut from the same cloth and the same type of response to previous shonen archetypes. RuroKen starts only a few months before YuYu concludes. Himura Kenshin was likely somewhat inspired by Kurama. Kiku’s obviously such a callback to the former but the floral motif, Ryokugyu's power and how he intersects, or the split "Bakura" personality element all remind me of my actual favorite anime redhead as well. Even see a very “Wano” use of the chapter title for this scene. 136, “A Heroic Decision.” Nice contrast to how...unheroic it feels on an emotional level.
Ultimately I just wanted to geek out about finding out we share a fondness for such an iconic story. But one of those things I was always looking at is how well a field tactician who’s personality alternating between sweet and cutthroat makes for great ethical dilemma stories would round out the Straw Hats. Without really stepping on anyone’s toes. 
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anemonay · 4 months
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2023 wrap up ( thanks @spaceoperetta for the idea, hasn't even considered doing one!)
-very long, been a big year for me-
tw: d/ru/g usage discussed positively
- also worst depression since college, but at least it's not the manic-depressive mixed state I was in for most of those 4 years
- BUT I also found the first ever antidepressant that works for me a couple months ago! I've been on a mood stabilizer that's "worked" for me for years in terms of controlling the hypomania, but I would still sink into low, low depressions. Now I just feel capable of happiness, but I need to rebuild those neural pathways since they haven't been used in so long
- my husband and I's relationship is much, much better. Once we moved things got really not great, and he is a lovely and great person but I think he'd never had to /actually/ deal with anything or question himself before and being in a new place, with someone holding him accountable, who wouldn't just ignore any of the ineffective things he was doing or any of the negative things occurring freaked him out a bunch, especially because he had no distress tolerance skills. I have my own stuff to work on too, but his refusal to accept what he doesn't understand really exacerbated my emotional reactivity and now I have to unlearn all of those habits.
- I found a therapist who works with my brain!
- my best friend moved to my city, and it was only supposed to be for like 10 months but she met her boyfriend and is blossoming and getting opportunities in her field like crazy so she's staying longer which means we can hang out more!
- knees got worse, but I finally went to physical therapy (because I maxed out my insurance OOP with the name other medical things I had to do this year) and it helped a bunch!
- a ton of drama with my husband's family. His youngest sister randomly decided that I am abusive (not even during like any interaction or anything, she just randomly started having an attitude with me 2 weeks before their annual (white, well-off people) family vacation), and then was cold to me during the vacation, and went on a walk with my husband where she essentially tried to convince him that I AM abusive. (Husband also handled it poorly - he's the "everyone is right in some way" type and didn't tell her she was completely out of line, but that has also gotten better thanks to couple's therapy). Then over Thanksgiving she decided to create drama with the older sister over her own poor behavior when older sister was doing absolutely nothing mean or wrong. It's been really stressful, we didn't even do a zoom call for Christmas this year which they normally try to make happen no matter what.
- I lost my job at a startup (blessing in disguise) and got a new job. The company is great, but I hate the work. It's not what I applied to do, it's way more technical and I would like that if ANYONE had the time to train me. But they lost a ton of people going from fully remote to hybrid, so everyone I work with has less experience than I do actually. I'm also struggling to do it because of how lost and flustered I feel.
- I picked up journaling and that's been so great and helpful.
- I went to Portland! I adored it very much. Though towards the end something about it felt vaguely threatening/heavy/scary. But I definitely want to visit again.
- I reconnected with my childhood best friend! We definitely grew in different ways but the foundation is still very much clicking. I'm going to stay with her and her husband in Seattle and visit again in May. She's so, so wonderful and I missed her so so much I'm tearing up writing this. We've continued to message frequently since, and once Baldur's Gate's cross play feature is out (fingers crossed) we're going to play together.
- I learned that stimulants don't work for my brain. ADHD stims caused anhedonia, coffee just triggers migraines, and Modafinil semi kinda maybe works but not well. I've managed to quit coffee for a week or so now. It's definitely an addiction. But chai tea lattes are filling the void. And the void also means that I'm getting back into tea! A childhood Internet friend is the one who got me into tea, and it feels very heartwarming to remember them through it.
- I lost my first cat together with my husband. You will be missed dearly forever, little man.
- I found my favorite d/ru/g! Technically I think it's 2-fdck that's my favorite favorite if my testing was correct, but basically ke/tam/ine and its analogues in general. It's so amazing and it checks all my boxes. I haven't personally experienced any negatives from it, though if you ever try it please read up on appropriate doseage, periods between use, and all that. It's helped me a ton with figuring stuff out, feeling motivated, and rewiring my brain. I'm weird and drugs have never worked the same for me as other people now have I ever had it impact my life negatively so please don't take my experience as advice or normal.
- I tripped for real for the first time in forever over Christmas break! My meds make it really, really difficult. Most people can't trip at all no matter how much they take on these meds. But I just kept raising my dose and bam, finally! I also had my first ever LSD epiphany and I feel like I can really move forward with my life. Tripping has also always helped my brain reset - like turning a computer off and on instead of just locking it or hibernating. I always feel so refreshed.
- I generally just feel more compassion for myself and more capable of being the person I want to be. Sometimes it hurts because it feels like I was on such a good trajectory, and then a ton of negative things happened to me with no support system and everything in my life just stopped. And then I was getting better and then COVID really broke me - at least when the bad stuff was happening I had stimulation, but COVID liked my brain. I think I still have it in me to be happy in the ways I want.
I hope we live in unprecedented times where history is made! Precedented times and the continuation of the normal just means the rich get richer and people die at the hands of oppressors. I hope things change for the better, greatly and permanently.
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an0theralien · 11 months
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Wrote this in 30mins. Trans girl essay rant time 😎
Sometimes, I think about what will happen later. It's the kind of thing I try to avoid thinking about a lot, the idea that someday my parents will know that I'm trans. As I enter my senior year, this fear is consuming me entirely. My graduation will be at the end of this year, but what will they use as my name? I'll be going by Emma with my friends, and either E or Emma with my teachers. But my parents will still only see me as my deadname, because I have yet to tell them anything. I know what the result will be if I do tell them, they will refuse it. They will argue that I'm still a child, that Its a phase or that I'm just not sure who I am. I've been out to friends as trans since the 7th grade, that's 4 years so far. Obviously, I don't deny the possibility that maybe, someday, it could change. As slim of a chance as it is if that were to happen I would change on my own terms. I wouldn't do it because I was told to, or because some god told me to.
  Recently, I've met this girl who's going to be at the school I'm moving to next year. She's genuinely the sweetest person I've ever met. We've texted for a while but we recently did meet in person. It was randomly, she just texted me asking if we could get frozen yogurt at 9pm one night. It's the first time I've been out after dark with friends (I know 17 years old and this is the first time I've been out after dark?? I'm kind of an introvert.) It turns out we live extremely close to one another, like a few streets away close. We plan to hang out a lot more now, and she's been telling me about different people in the friend group that I will be joining once I get to this school.
  When we talk, I stop worrying about things for a while. She's genuinely beautiful, like STUNNING. And I'm crushing so hard, but trying to play it cool. I've told her about my situation at home, and she offered for me to live with her once I turn 18. 18 would be halfway through my senior year, I'd be leaving my parents before they even saw me graduate. But should I really give them that? I won't lie and say everything is horrible in my home, my parents genuinely do love the idea of me that they have. I would love to say that they truly love me, myself, the true me, but I know that it just isn't true. They are extremely transphobic people, and they don't keep it hidden in the slightest. Up until now I've said that my escape would be college, I would go to college and I'd never have to worry about seeing them. But now, there's an opportunity calling for me. Obviously I'd have to meet her mom, and ensure that she genuinely is okay with it. But if she is, and if this type of thing was really available to me, I think I might take it.
  Beforehand I would have to make sure my car was registered in my name and not my dad's, or abandon my car. I'd have to pick what things I want to take with me and what I would keep at home. I obviously wouldn't be able to take much either way, but with a car id be able to take a lot more. Without I'd have to really limit myself. I've imagine the idea before, of what it would be like after I left. I would have to call the non emergency line, and explain to them that I was not kidnapped, but rather chose to leave as a legal adult. My parents would probably spam text and call me, my siblings as well. I might tell my sister, and my brother, but only to calm their nerves.
  I could imagine my mom crying, my dad screaming. I could imagine my little brother crying as well, wishing I would come home one day. He wouldn't realize that there was a reason I left. My phone plan would get cut off as soon as they found out how to do so, but since I paid for the phone (I'm hoping) they won't try to take it from me or contact the police claiming it to be stolen. That's the issue I've encountered with a lot of the things I own, it's the reason I've started buying everything myself. That way when I leave they can't try to claim I stole these things. Someday I imagine, (if I take the car) they would see my car parked outside her house. They might try to show up and talk with me. My mom would cry begging for me to come home. My dad would threaten her mother. He would probably insist on me coming out, and wouldn't leave unless the police were called or I came out to talk with him. 
  Relatives, people I've never even thought about would probably contact me. They would beg me to come home, or I'd just get told that I was a worshipper of the devil and that I have taken the path to hell. I think the only relative I would try to get in contact with would be my half aunt. She and her husband seem to be really accepting people, which is why they are pretty looked down upon by the majority of my family. Theyve offered to me before that I could live with them after I turned 18 if needed. At the time I never saw it as anything beyond them being nice, but as I grew up I realized that they realized how bad the conditions could be at home due to my parents opinions and they were trying to leave a door open for me. I think they might be the ones I go to for support after I move out, wether that be as soon as I turn 18 or when college comes around.
  For now, despite all of this. I'm happy. I'm optimistic for my future for the first time in a while honestly. I know the career I want to pursue, and I know the college I want to attend. I know that it may be a pipe dream to hope that everything works out and I go to the college of my dreams, but right now to keep myself sane all I can be is optimistic. I've got amazing friends, I have a new school, a new job, new opportunities, and more. Someday I'll probably look back on all of this, who knows where I'll be then but to future me, you've still got this. Anytime you fall back into that pit that I always do, just know that this part of you, this optimistic side is always there.
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wildcard-rumi · 2 years
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🤡😈🎶 for the fic writer asks and 4, 19, and 31 for the OC asks! ^^
🤡 - What's a line, scene or exchange you've written that made you laugh?
Honestly there's three main ones that come to mind and I was so disappointed that none of them got attention from readers, although I guess that just tells me that my sense of humour isn't very good.
Two of them are from my P5R Chat fic, the first one being the group talking about Goro giving Ren his phone number after the interview where Ren says the Thieves do more than the cops and everyone laughing at Goro with Futaba jokingly saying "Oh shit, this guy called a loser on national TV, I have to slide into those DMs"
The other P5R Chat fic one is from the showbiz chat (between Goro, Ann, Sumire and Hifumi) and they're talking about all the interviews Goro used to do and how often he'd be asked about his type of woman when, in this fic, Goro is gay. So he remarks about "What was I supposed to say? 'What do you look for in a woman?' I don't. I look elsewhere."
And the last one was from my Gorotaba siblings fic where Futaba is teasing Goro over text about his crush on Ren and how he won't admit it, so she sends a link and says it's Goro and I actually put a link in the fic and it sends you to a YouTube video of I Won't Say I'm In Love from Hercules.
Explaining these jokes here suddenly makes them not seem funny anymore and now I'm just embarrassed. Also, I've noticed that all three examples are me teasing Goro. I love this boy, but I love teasing him even more.
��� - Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?
I never really write sad stuff to be mean. Mostly I just have a sad idea, it makes me sad and I realise it would work really well so I write it and sometimes it comes out sadder than I first thought. For example, For The Best was the first fic that made me cry while writing it and that caught me completely off guard.
However, I will admit, I did add in some extra scenes in the flashback section of Someone I Used To Know just because it would make it more painful and while, yes I was grinning when the idea hit me, I don't consider it playfully mean because I was hurting myself too.
🎶 - Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?
I'm stuck on my phone so listening to music is pretty much the only thing I can do while writing because fuck you I'm not paying for YouTube premium even though it would really help me focus because for some reason hearing people talking instead of music helps me focus more.
And unfortunately, I'm stuck listening to the same songs on repeat and have been for months because my phone's music app is weird and randomly deleted a bunch of songs and won't let me get more. No, I don't know how to fix it. And yes, being stuck with the same 200 songs on repeat for the past... Half a year? Has been driving me to insanity, thanks for asking.
Don't even suggest using Spotify because I am a grandma in a 22 year old's body and I have no fucking clue how to use technology.
4 - A character you rarely talk about
Unfortunately, that's most of them... Especially since certain ones get a lot more attention than others. But it's mostly the ones with personalities I find difficult to write... So usually the serious, responsible members of the group because chaos is way easier to write.
19 - Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
Honestly? Probably Sora. Because I made them after realising I was non-binary so they're my first OC who doesn't fall within the gender binary (They're genderfluid) and I basically made their personality just a free spirit like they're cheeky, they're loud, they're confident, they're unapologetic. They're basically everything I wish I was. Except for their fashion sense, I deliberately made their fashion sense terrible to make them more endearing and funny... And to piss off Kenji, who is extremely fashion conscious.
31 - Pick one OC of yours and explain what their Tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
Oh god, describing things has always been the thing I'm worst at... I dunno... I guess Aki? His blog would be full of pictures of him skating, his friends, food he really enjoyed and random rants about whatever series he's watching at the time??? And I don't even know the first thing about layouts... I meant it when I said I was useless with technology, okay?
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I'm bored and stuck at home due to the weather so here's atleast a few weird and dumb stuff I thought or experienced as a kid that in randomly thinking about now I guess:
1. I remember it was sometime in grade school and I remember it was either near or was Black History Month so out teacher wanted us to write something based on Martin Luther King Jr. and I sorta remember the concept was something along the lines of how modern day life would be different negatively if MLK didn't make the change that he did in society when it came to combating segregation and anti-blackness. Nothing bad happened but I remember something silly which is when at the end of my essay or paragraph(I don't remember how long it was supposed to be I was too young and barely remember anything more recent in a clear state anymore anyways so *shrug*)but I remember thinking that my mom was a black woman because little me didn't know yet that there were more than white and black people or that biracial people could exist(my mom is a latina person and I don't think a white latina either unless she's just naturally more tan and has more non-eurocentric features I guess? Btw I am very clearly a white latine person if you were to meet me irl atleast sooo). I don't think anyone caught up on that in hindsight but I just thought it was interesting.
2. For a lot of my academic career aka school days, I would go to a very catholic and patriotic family-oriented school for all grades except high-school since my mom mostly ran the household at the time I suppose and wanted me to follower her faith since she grew up with it. Not saying that's bad or whatever obviously, but I remember chatting as a girl to another girl at the lunch table one day and I don't exactly remember how the convo got there, but she brought up the idea that if your parents live eachother very much and are good people who believe in God or something that they'd get a baby and not yk...having sex or something since we were little kids. I then brought up the new information to my dad later that day when he came home after helping me with homework, feeling like such a smarty-pants I guess you could say before he sat me down and told me that it was technically more than that(My dad's a Christian btw, so he wasn't saying that it was wrong to love God). He then sorta attempted to gently explain the "Birds and the Bees" to me since maybe he felt like it was important for me to learn before I ended up freaking out and feeling nasty. Idk it was sorta blurry but it's still funny to remember sometimes heh.
3. Since my mom is not from the USA originally and instead was from a Spanish speaking Latin-American country(not gonna be explaining the specifics due to safety and privacy atleast just incase), she obviously had different customs and cultural traditions along with other practices she wanted to share with me since she got here from knowing those from North America. Nowadays the idea is good and my mom was atleast right in attempting to get to know new stuff from a non-white point of view, but I remember the music being played in the background and people chatting amongst eachother being really loud atleast in the ears of little girl me and it made me sorta annoyed at her side of the family(Not in a racist way obvi, but more like in a "Omg my family is so embarrassing can you guys stop being so crazy??"type of phase that I believe some kids go through).Eventually, now that I've grown older I've grown more appreciative of those types of experiences as it's very important for children to try new things and for those who may have varying heritage to try out non-american stuff related to them.
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daenqyu · 3 years
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— they accidentally confess to their crush
includes: shinsou, bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and hawks
warnings: swearing
a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i love this idea! it’s so cute🥺 also, hawks’ may be a little longer than the others because it’s my first time writing for him and i got a bit excited👉🏼👈🏼 
ps: i don’t mind writing for hawks if it’s a headcannon and/or texts! so feel free to request him :D and yes, this is a repoost because the algorithm hates me.
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @tetsuruo )
shinsou hitoshi:
it would happen so randomly and out of the blue
as i said before, i think shinsou is a really reserved and quiet type of guy
but that seems to vanish whenever he’s around you
he’s more talkative and constantly goes out with you so you guys can have some quality time together
you also make him really nervous 
he’s pretty chill with everyone and seems to not give a fuck about most things
but with you?
that’s a whole different story 
whenever you keep your gaze stuck on him when he’s talking and his eyes meet yours, his heart never fails to do backflips because fuck you’re so cute
(oh to have shinsou think i’m cute D:)
ok back to the actual hc,,, 
you two were hanging out in your room, listening to music and just talking 
even tho your best friends, shinsou never really tells you much about his personal life
of course you know the basics like his hobbies and all his favorite things
but he never talks to you about...crushes or anything 
and you don’t like that because :( friends are supposed to tell each other this stuff, right? 
it’s fun and makes the bond even stronger
so you decide to ask him because why not?
“hey shinsou?” 
he’s sitting down next to you on your bed, your legs draped over his
which makes him feel all warm inside
it’s stupid and definitely not a big deal, 
but it’s little things like this that make him fall more and more for you
“yes?” 
“do you have a crush?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him in a teasing way, although he’s not even looking your way
a part of you is nervous to hear his response 
because unbeknownst to shinsou, you reallyyy like him
and have been crushing on him for quite some time now, but since you’re so sure the feelings are one sided, you don’t tell him
he’s too invested on the game he’s playing on your switch, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he concentrates
so he almost misses your question
and when he does answer, he’s not even paying attention to the words that leave his mouth
“apart from you? no”
it takes him a good minute to process what he said
meanwhile you’re sitting there like :o
you certainly weren’t expecting THAT
like it’s a good thing!!!! but you’re kinda flustered 
especially when shinsou finally looks up at you, eyes widened in surprise at his own bluntness as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say now
“wait! i didn’t mean it like that!”
“you didn’t?”
he notices the slight pain in your voice and the way you move away from him slowly and he’s quick to apologize 
“shit, okay...yes i like you but i didn’t say anything because i don’t want to make things weird between us or ruin what we have right now”
he’s looking everywhere but you
because he doesn’t exactly want to face you when you reject him
but you don’t ???
instead you giggle and before he can ask you what’s so funny, you climb on his lap to hug him, causing him to blush furiously 
“i like you too, toshi”
the nickname makes him hug you even tighter while he hides his face on your neck 
it was such a cute confession and even when you two start going out, you never stop bringing it up
which makes shinsou extremely embarrassed 
“hey remember when you confessed and-”
“y/n, we’ve talked about this”
“oh come on! you were so adorable”
he pouts at you 
“were?”
people think he looks so scary but he’s actually a whole ass baby
you roll your eyes before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss, 
“you’re such a baby”
“hm, your baby”
“oh my god you did not”
yeah no, he’s in love with you👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @bakugousmyboy )
bakugou katsuki:
i feel like it would be pretty difficult to have bakugou accidentally confess directly to you
he knows how to control himself and his emotions so i doubt he’d actually ever do something like this
however,
he’s not that good at hiding his crush on you and mostly everyone on class 1A knows the boy is an absolute sucker for you
except you because apparently you think he’s just being nice
and everyone else is like wtf???? 
like he’s ALWAYS screaming at everyone 
but when it’s you he doesn’t 
in fact, sometimes he even lowers his voice so it won’t bother you 
so that behavior is the one that caused him to be stuck in the situation he is right now
he sat in the common room with kirishima and kaminari, trying to eat his food in peace but the two idiots, as he likes to call them, wouldn’t shut up
he had completely blocked out both of their voices, focusing on finishing his meal and getting the hell away from them
until he heard your name being mentioned 
“dude when are you gonna ask y/n out? everyone knows how much you like her  so might as well you know,” kirishima bumps his shoulder against the blonde, only to receive a glare. “get some action”
“yeah bakubro, she’s super cute too” kaminari buts in and bakugou is about to punch them both in the face
“shut the fuck up. i don’t like her” bakugou scoffs
“but you’re such a softie for her”
“huh?! i treat her the same as i treat all of you extras!” oh but he knows he’s lying, you can’t even compare to any of your annoying classmates 
kirishima smirks, “i’m pretty sure you’ve never once, raised your voice at her”
“so? that doesn’t mean shit”
kaminari looks at kirishima and the redhead nods at him, giving him the green light
“well since you don’t like her, you wouldn’t mind if i ask her out? because i’ve been wanting to-” kaminari can’t even finish his sentence before bakugou grabs him by the collar of his shirt
kaminari yelps, looking over at his other friend for help but he moves his head quickly, knowing better than to get involved 
“you try and make a move on her and i swear to God i’ll blast you all the way across japan, dunce face”
bakugou’s voice is threatening and low, and kaminari knows he means every word so he quickly raises his arms in defeat and nods his head
“okay, okay! i swear i won’t”
little do they know that you’ve been standing behind them for a while now
you’re happy to know your feelings are reciprocated 
but of course you want to tease bakugou about it
“hm did my ears deceive me or does boom boom boy have a crush on me?” 
kirishima and kaminari take that as their cue to run away to their rooms, leaving you two alone
“tch, how long have you been standing there?” even as he glares you down, he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks 
he didn’t want you to find out this way
or at all tbh
you walk over to him, a wide smile on your lips
“long enough”
afterwards you ask him if he wants to go watch a movie with you the next day and he’s lowkey mad because he wanted to ask you on a date first, but he doesn’t say no
you end up having way more fun than expected and you actually confirmed that bakugou was a softie for you 
(turns out you were the last one to find out because literally everyone else knew)
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
midoriya izuku:
OKAY HE’D BE THE MOST FLUSTERED OUT OF ALL OF THEM
he can barely function around girls in general so like, what does that tell you?
he likes you so much but he’s so scared 
but he’s also so sweet to you even before you start dating oml
midoriya is a sweetheart, we all know this
and he pays so much attention to you
like if you are the mall one day and you see something you really like but can’t buy it for whatever reason well…
a few days later he gets it for you
he would say something along the lines of, “you seemed to really like it so i got it for you”
“you didn’t have to, izuku!”
“but i wanted to”
you’ll try to pay him back in some sort of way but he absolutely refuses
he loves pampering you
yet whenever you try to do the same he doesn’t let you and it’s: ✨annoying✨
anyways,
you were supposed to go to the movies
but midoriya had forgotten he had some homework to do, which was due the next day
“i’m so sorry y/n! i completely forgot, but i promise i’ll finish quickly” he tried to reassure you and you chuckle at the boy, so cute
“it’s okay, izuku. i don’t mind waiting”
you lay down on his bed, trying your best to keep your eyes open 
but as much as you tried, you eventually fell asleep against the soft sheets, your best friend’s bed being just too comfortable 
midoriya sat on his desk chair, writing down the answers as fast as he could so you guys could go watch the movie you were so excited about
he let out a sigh of relief when he finished, before taking his phone out to check the time
6:37PM, the movie starts at 7PM so we still have time
he stood up to tell you he had finished, but was met with your sleeping figure
your eyes were closed and soft snores left your slightly parted lips, hands gripping his sheets to your chest
the curly haired boy almost combusted at the sight
you looked so peaceful, so pretty
a smile grazed his lips as he made his way over to the bed
he sat down beside you, quietly admiring your features 
feeling the mattress dip thanks to his weight, you began to wake up, but quickly shut your eyes when you noticed midoriya was looking at you
truth be told, you just wanted to scare him by suddenly jumping
but his next words made your breath hitch
one of his hands moved up to your face, resting it gently against your cheek as his thumb massaged the skin
your heartbeat was out of control and you forced yourself to calm your breathing so he wouldn’t notice you were awake 
his touch was so gentle and sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away
“i wish i could tell you how beautiful you are” he whispered and if you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him
after hearing him say that you couldn’t stay still
you opened your eyes, a smile quickly spreading across your features as you turned around to face the green haired boy
midoriya almost had a heart attack when you moved, hoping you hadn’t heard him
but based on the mischievous grin you wore, he knew you had
“well you just did”
“y-you were awake?!”
“yup, i’m glad i was tho”
hE’S INTERNALLY SCREAMING
your gaze is flirtatious and you’re still grinning and he’s just >_<
“now let’s go or we’ll be late!” 
midoriya can only nod before following you outside
once you’re on your way to the movie theater, you notice midoriya fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes glued to his shoes
you smile as you suddenly take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together 
midoriya looks at you with a nervous expression, what is she doing?
“you know, you’re beautiful too”
you were looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes and he felt so embarrassed yet excited at the same time
because holy fuck you just called him beautiful AND held his hand???
he thinks it can’t get any better than this
and then it does when you kiss him a few weeks later😳🤚🏼
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @ambershaydeoffical )
todoroki shouto:
like bakugou, i don’t really think he’d be clumsy enough to accidentally confess
however, he does like to speak his mind and isn’t afraid to do so
he’s just really honest and blunt
way too honest 
which gets him in trouble sometimes but oh well, that’s just the way he is and everyone is pretty used to his personality by now
though, after figuring out he liked you as more than a friend, he started to think more before talking
sometimes you liked to get his opinion on your outfits and/or hairstyles
so you’d drag him to you room and force him to be honest and tell you which one he liked most
it doesn’t matter what you wear, you always look beautiful 
he wants to say that, but instead he goes:
“they all look good, i think the purple shirt really fits you tho”
“i was thinking the same thing!”
he doesn’t want to scare you off or make things weird
so he forces himself to hold back on his bluntness 
at least when he’s with you
but one day he just can’t help himself 
you were on your way back to the dorms after a tiring day at school
todoroki walked next to you, eyes glancing over to you from time to time so you knew he was listening\
you were currently rambling about how shitty your love life was
claiming that there must be something wrong with you since no one seemed to pay attention to you- at least romantically 
“i mean seriously, am i doing something wrong or is everyone i’ve met just not for me??” 
you had your cheeks puffed out, a pout on your lips as you kicked the small rocks on the floor
todoroki smiled softly at your complaints, thinking irony could be quite funny sometimes 
until you spoke up again,
“maybe i’m just too ugly or boring, that’d make more sense”
todoroki almost stops dead in his tracks to see if you have a fever 
how could you say that????
you’re so gorgeous to todoroki, and interesting 
you’re probably the first girl he’s ever liked this much in his life
and you have the audacity to doubt your worth just because other people can’t seem to appreciate you??
uh uh, he’s not having it
and so, the words come out before he can even register them properly
“if you were as ugly as you say are then, i don’t think i’d like you as much as i do”
your eyes widened and you stopped walking, wondering if you had heard him right
todoroki stops walking too, and once he realizes what happened, he’s looking away, trying to come up with a valid excuse as to why he said that
you, however, can’t stop staring at him
finding the way he glares at the ground adorable
a sense of happiness takes over your whole body when he doesn’t say anything to deny his sudden confession 
because he cannot lie to you
you walk towards todoroki until you’re standing right in front of him and before he can even question what you’re doing, you plant a sweet kiss against his cheek
“good thing the feeling is mutual”
your words make him smile and he looks so happy
probably the happiest he’s ever been
and you feel proud of being the one responsible for that pretty smile of his
neither of you really rush into making things official 
but the way todoroki lets you cuddle on his left side whenever you’re cold or how he waits for you every morning so you can walk together to class makes it more than clear that he really likes you
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
takami keigo (hawks)
he’d be the type to not give a fuck about it
like he already confessed so what can he do?
nothing. exactly
he’s so cocky and flirty the whole time oml
he’d be shocked for a few seconds, but after seeing you were way more flustered than him, he’d just start teasing you
in a loving way of course
he’s also surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier on, considered how much he flirts with you, but then again, that’s part of his personality so
kinda makes sense you didn’t suspect anything
but he’s so cute and soft for you 🥺
okok so it happened the same day you got your results for your midterms
(you’re a college student here lol)
you had studied your ass off for this tests
staying up until 4AM and having to ditch your friends when they invited you to go out
so you were really positive
you squealed when your teacher hands you back the papers and you see the grade on the right corner
you felt happy to know that all your hard work wasn't in vain
the nerves you had been feeling since the day you took the midterms quickly vanished and were replaced with the feeling of pride
as you walked out of the building, you dialed the person who you wanted to share the news most with
he picked up after the second ring
“what’s up?” his voice was raspy and you ignored the butterflies that appeared in your stomach at the sound
“hey, i have great news!”
“care to elaborate?”
“you’ll find out when i get to your house”
“oh? and who said you could come over?” his tone is teasing and you can practically hear the smirk on his face, which makes you roll your eyes
“i did, now bye. i’ll be there in five minutes and order some pizza to celebrate” you don’t even get hear his complaints because you’ve already hung up
anyone who saw the way you two acted with each other would automatically think you guys were a couple
you were rather affectionate with each other; occasionally holding hands while you walked down the streets and even calling each other by your first names
that was just the bond you two had, and you loved it
he brought you so much comfort
it was almost ridiculous the way he was able to make you smile by simply calling or texting you
you had grown quite attached to the number 2 hero, but you constantly told yourself you needed to snap out of it
because you were friends
nothing more and nothing less
oh but how you wished there was more to your relationship than just that
you shook your head, as if that could help you get rid of the thoughts
true to your word, you soon found yourself outside of keigo’s house
the college you went to wasn’t that far away from there so
you pushed the doorbell and waited around two minutes before a sleepy looking keigo opened the door
his hair was messy and the way he rubbed his eyes and kept yawning let you know he probably had been taking a nap
you scoff, “were you sleeping?” you ask him as you walk into his home, smiling at the familiar scent
he chuckles from behind you, following you into his living room, “maybe, but you woke me up”
“can’t believe your lazy ass earned the number two spot”
“what can i say? it’s a talent,” he shrugs before sitting down next to you on the couch, resting his face on his hand. “so, what’s the good news?”
“so you know i took my midterms last friday, right?” keigo nods. “well, i got my results today” he raises his eyebrows in surprise and waits as you look for the papers inside your bag
once you get them out, you place them in front of your face so he can see for himself
keigo smiles proudly and it only widens when you look up at him expectantly, biting your lower lip
“holy fuck, that’s amazing! you did so good dove”
the nickname makes you weak on the knees but you’re quick to brush it off
you should be used to it, since keigo has been calling you that for quite some time now, yet it never fails to make your heart beat insanely fast
you nod excitedly and put the papers down before you start talking about your experience
keigo can’t help but admire you
you look so happy and cute
it makes him want to kiss you
he wants to shut you up by kissing you, and it sound mean and disrespectful but you just look so gorgeous 😡
and instead of randomly kissing you, he blurts out a confession
“math was probably the hardest but i managed to pass it too, surprisingly, so i-”
he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about anymore, too focused on your smile
“God i like you so much”
you shut up instantly
did you hear that right?
or was your mind playing tricks on you?
keigo looks away momentarily, before locking eyes with you and tilting his head to the side, waiting for a reaction
which he gets soon after because you can’t handle the way he’s looking at you
you look away, hiding your face the best you can
“w-what did you say?”
he smirks after hearing the stutter in your voice
he gets closer to you, until he’s right in front of your face, before saying:
“i like you, y/n”
you don’t know what to say
what are you even supposed to do???
keigo just confessed
your best friend and crush just confessed to you
that’s not something that happens everyday
“i um, like you too” you don’t look at him and he almost chuckles at your shy expression, but decides not to embarrass you any further
“happy to hear that”
he doesn’t say anything for a while and you wonder what the hell is going through his head right
he’s probably just messing with me. oh my God he probably is and i just said i liked him too so what-
your train of thought is cut off when you feel the blonde ruffle your hair while looking at you lovingly
you slowly look up to him
“i’m proud of you, dove”
fuck
“t-thanks”
“now, i think this is something worth celebrating and i’m not talking about pizza. so let me take you out”
“it’s fine, keigo. you don’t need to-”
“can’t hear you, give me about fifteen minutes and then we’ll get going”
you try to tell him no, that it’s fine and you can just eat pizza but he ignores you and still takes you out to eat
i’ll say it again: he’s so sweet :(((
he pays for the food and gives you his jacket when you get cold
he even treats you to some dessert !!
he also kisses you good night when he drops you off at your house <3
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dememetor · 3 years
Note
HEY HEY HEY
I love your writing, can I please get jealous hcs for anyone? Please include suna thi he's my latest brainrot hAHA
hi, thanks for the request! and suna brainrot?? bitch me too the fuck. anyways, hope you enjoy~
(also sorry this is kinda late, i've rewritten iwaizumi and bokuto ones a million times)
Haikyuu boys when they're jealous
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characters suna rintarou, kuroo tetsurou, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto koutarou, kenma kozume
warnings none but i'm probably gonna say fuck at some point
Suna Rintarou
he tries to be chill about it, he does
it hurts his ego to be this clingy but god
he can't help but to feel that sour sting of jealousy when he sees another guy approaching you
at first will only take a quick glance from afar, just to check if the guy is bothering you, and then promises himself to stay out of your business
well he doesn't
once he decides the guy has lost talking-to-y/n-alone privilege, he will nonchalantly make his way towards you, one hand in his pocket, other sneaking its way to your shoulder, resting his elbow and giving the poor boy a menacing look
he can be pretty intimidating too with that eyeliner and all
(but that look only works on people that don't know him well, he tried it on atsumu once and the latter just laughed in his face)
not the type to be openly jealous but when he sees someone blatantly flirting with you he will start to give you the Glance
blinks slowly (you know, like that one blonde haired guy gif) and looks at you through raised eyebrows as if to say hey babe, i love you and i trust you. what the fuck tho
and when the guy starts being borderline creepy he'll appear between you - and i mean literally will inject himself between you two and strike a conversation with you as if nothing weird happened
they usually get the hint, but this one guy tried to go around him, still rambling about whatever and suna literally turned on his heel and said "come again?" with such unrivaled coldness, his eyes exuding just sheer fucking spite
but like i said, unless the other guy is asking for it, he's not the type to start a direct confrontation
will take you by the hand and leave without much thought because he simply doesn't have the time for that shit
he might seem grumpy afterwards but a couple of soft kisses usually do the trick
soft kisses which are followed by a breathless make out session with you on his kitchen counter because he still wants you to know you're only his
Kuroo Tetsurou
this little bitch
never gets jealous
and i mean never
once pretended he was jealous just to make you feel better (??? his logic? unparalleled) but once you found out you beat his ass
loves it when you get jealous though (he thinks it's cute)
sometimes he does get insecure, but he shows it in an unusual way
like if you've been talking to someone, smiling at your phone for a while he'll just get up and randomly do a couple puhs-ups, start flexing his muscles and shit
all while you're looking at him like,,
"babe, what are you doing"
"oh i didn't think you'd notice me there. since you're on your damn phone all day"
"...are you my mom?"
nah he'll be fine (will steal your phone though)
also it's the funniest thing when he sees someone trying to flirt with you
he will literally walk over there, introduce himself (not mentioning he's your boyfriend) and act really interested in the conversation
he plays this game where he tries to see how long will it take the guy to realise you two are together (longest time: 24 minutes, record holder: yahaba shigeru)
whenever the guy asks you something he will interrupt you and answer for himself as if the guy were flirting with him
"so, like what do you do in your free time?"
"not mu-"
"oh i love taking long walks on the beach, especially during sunsets. i really think it is healthy for the mind and the soul, not to mention quite romantic too. don't you too love sunsets, kevin?"
at one point kevin will have had enough of it
"i was talking to y/n alone here"
"aw don't worry, you're not bothering me"
he is such a pain in the ass
why can't he just be normal
Iwaizumi Hajime
rational, mature, i love him
seriously, he is the bestest boy and he will treat you so well because he trusts you and respects your friendship with other guys as well
but on those rare occasions when he does get jealous,, oh boy
first of all, the PDA skyrockets, he has to have his arm around you at all times - around your shoulder? on your waist? in your backpocket? his hand's been there done that
not in any way possesive but will be really annoying unless you give him your full undivided attention that day
he lets himself be selfish a bit, after all he is your boyfriend he can have you all to himself for a day, right?
jealous sex with him? better prepare a wheelchair cause you want be able to walk straight tomorrow
sees a boy trying to flirt with you? tries not to make a scene but absolutely will throw the first punch if he needs to
one day he was having a particularly rough time at practice and all he wanted to do was lose himself in your arms and fall asleep to the feeling your fingertips tangled in his hair
and then he saw this?? guy? (the audacity!) laughing with you after telling some dumb joke and let me tell you - iwaizumi wasn't having any of it
he came up to you from behind, wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a small kiss on the crook of your neck
"when are we going home, love?"
and he gives him the calmest yet most fear inducing stare from behind you
and suddenly the pattern on poor boy's pants starts to look awful lot like piss stain
it is actually kinda hot how one single look from him can cause such a reaction
"he was just asking about english homework babe"
"yeah that's what they all say"
Bokuto Koutarou
gets jealous so so easily
it is actually fascinating
will get mad at otome games
"what does jumin han have that i don't???"
god forbid you pay attention to your pet more than him (btw you have a golden retriever and his name is bean)
you're sitting on the couch cuddling with your dog, scratching his ears, ruffling his fur and all that, and there he is, your clingy boyfriend, snuggling right next to you, demanding you play with his hair too
so dramatic
"you smiled at him... the way you used to smile at me..."
"bokuto, he's a dog"
the only guy he trusts 100% to be around you is akaashi, even kuroo is on thin ice
but him and akaashi are something else, one time you three had a sleepover and you felt like you were the third wheel
will act like a tough serious boyfriend in front of others, especially your other guy friends but in reality will look for affection immediately after
oh while we're at it - jealous bokuto kisses? are the best kisses
will also force you to wear one of his shirts for the rest of the day
my poor man is so touch starved so when he feels insecure or jealous he will look for comfort in things like holding your hand, nuzzling your neck or giving forehead kisses
but later that day, when you two are sitting on the couch cuddling he will quietly ask you something along the lines of "you still think i'm pretty, right?"
you can feel him all over you - his hands are creeping down your waist, he's pulling you in, deepening the kiss until all you can see, think and feel is him
he wants to show you exactly how much he wants you and what you were missing out on while you weren't paying attention to him
and it shocks you for a moment because you didn't realise just how much that one short moment of jealousy actually stayed with him
you have to reassure him he's the most beautiful boy you have ever met, and not only that, but also the funniest and the most caring person as well, and that you would never leave his side no matter what happened
and as much as he loves getting praised he always gets embarrassed, so he just smiles in return, but he is also happy to know you're there for him and you don't think he is too much
Kenma Kozume
it depends on his mood honestly
sometimes he doesn't mind it even if the other guy is flirting with you and sometimes will get pissy if you smile at the cashier
but when this boy gets really jealous oh my GOD
he is just like bokuto if not worse; he just hides it so well
one time you went grocery shopping with him and spent the entire time texting your friend who had just told you she was visiting your city
and he got so offended
you didn't even notice it until later that day when you came home and he suddenly refused to cuddle with you
silent treatment
lifts his nose and ignores you, only giving you dirty side glances from under the eye
such a massive sense of pride in those 170 cm even oikawa would be impressed
in my country there's a saying "it's in the smallest bottle that the poison lies" and honestly? yeah
at some point you realise why he's acting like that and you start teasing him
"i am not jealous i am just mildly irritated" is the only thing he deems necessary to say before going back to being unnecessarily pissed
he reminds you of an angry cat
it's kind of amusing seeing him like this but you were also getting real tired of his shit
don't even try bribing him (you tried buying him over with a ps5 but he just looked at you unimpressed, disgusted that you think so low of him)
the only thing he will accept is a sincere apology
if it's sincere or not is up to him to decide, obviously
which can lead to quite some bickering
will try to get you to beg but please have dignity, if you do it once he will make you do it every time
yeah generally a lttle shit but his kisses after making up are just as eager as yours so
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nsheetee · 3 years
Text
One Foot in the Golden Life
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Pairing: rich kid!renjun x caddie!reader Genre: rich kid AU, university au, romance, slight angst, mature content Length: 9.7k Summary: this is the story of a boy who is constantly pushed down by his father, a girl who just wants to not live paycheck to paycheck, and how they met on a golf course.  Warnings/Details: includes mentions of other NCT members, female reader, swearing, inaccurate depiction of golf, acts of sexual harassment towards the reader, mature content (unprotected sex, coming inside, oral [female receiving])
a/n: a big thank you to @insomni-writing​ for beta reading this ♡ also, if you are a minor, please beware that there is mature content in this fic!
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You thought it would be the perfect opportunity to work at the most well-known country club in the state, but really the only thing your job brought you was perpetual cold to your hands and feet, and entangled your simple life with one of the youngest and richest bachelors at your university.
The only place on top of Mt. Carla is the Augusta Country Club, and it is a sight to see by the regular people who gaze up at it from the city below, like mortals looking up into the Gods’ chamber. The first time you went up the mountain for your job interview at the club, you got lost and were almost late. Thankfully, you didn’t crash your car on the winding roads, and got the job as well.
The Augusta Country Club is equipped with the largest and most expensive golf course in the region, but also has Michilin approved restaurants and the finest saunas and gym equipment any CEO could ask for. Those are usually the type of people that have club memberships: CEO’s, congress men and women, top-notch lawyers, and maybe the odd business owner that made it big enough to afford the price tag.
When you took up the job as a caddie, you had an idea of what you were getting yourself into. You’ve only been working for a month, but there are already a few regular golf players that prefer you as their caddie, which in your book is a success considering the type of high profile people that come to relax here.
However, today is different.
You can sense it when Kara and Mina, your coworkers who have been working here for a year longer than you, walk towards you and your friend, Lia, before your shift today. Mina has a small stack of info cards in her hands and they both hold smug smiles on their faces. The info cards have everything a caddie needs to know about who they’ll be working for that shift, and by the looks of it, today’s game will have a good match up.
“I’m going to be Mr. Huang’s son’s caddie. Don’t even fight me on this, you know I’ll win.” Kara states boldly as the two girls stop in front of you, snatching an info card out of Mina’s hand when she holds them up like she’s playing a card game, flashing the photos and names on the cards at you.
“I call dibs on Mr. Lee’s son.” Mina hums, not even bothering to keep up the act that they just want to be good caddies. “You two can have the old men.” She smiles tightly, shoving the other two info cards into Lia’s grasp and turning on her heel to walk away with Kara.
Considering you don’t even know what they’re talking about, you have no right to be mad at them. There is more confusion clouding your mind than anger at their rudeness. However, Lia does not share the same sentiment.
“I’ll shove these info cards up their-” Lia fumes, her volume rising as the sentence went on, and you quickly pulled her out of ear shot, around a corner by the bathrooms. “-stuck up two faced asses!”
“Lia…” You mutter, her wording making you shake your head at how unstable her temper is, “They’ve been working here for a lot longer than we have, just let them have those clients. Either way, what’s it to you?”
“What’s it to me? ___, they’re talking about Lee Jeno and Huang Renjun. I know I told you about them before.” Lia states like she expects you to have those two names tattooed on the front lobe of your brain already.
“I think I remember them…. They go to our University, right?” You try to regurgitate your friend’s rambles from months ago out of your head.
“Yeah, business department.” She sighs dreamily, as if the business department is the sexiest thing on campus. “This might be our only chance to shoot our shot.” You can’t help but grimace a bit.
“It can be your chance to shoot your shot. Leave me out of this.” You randomly grab an info card out of Lia’s hands, turning it around to see Mr. Huang Lijun’s photo staring back at you. You send Lia one last look, walking around her to go change in the dressing rooms.
“Aw, you’re no fun.” You hear her whine, her footsteps echo through the hallway as she comes up behind you. She almost knocks you into the wall from how forcefully she grabs onto your arm and swings it back and forth like you’re two little kids on your way to the playground.
“Maybe we can shoot our shot at the old men?” You and Lia stop walking, turning to face each other for a moment of silence. You blink at each other as if you’re both considering it, before erupting into laughter at the ridiculous thought and continue walking down the hallway.
You and Lia constantly joke around about finding rich sugar daddies at work to pay for your college tuition, but both of you know you’ll never actually commit to the idea fully. Neither of you will admit it, but you both know you don’t have the guts to do something like that.
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By the time you, Lia, and your other coworkers change into uniform and gather your supplies for the Lee vs. Huang game, it’s already 10am. The air is crisp and cool, the signs of fall creep along your skin and taint the deep green trees in light oranges and yellows.
Despite the chill, you and your coworkers still wear skirts, long sleeve v-necks, and puffy vests; the only thing keeping your feet warm is a pair of short white socks and tennis shoes. You don’t mind the chill knowing that once the game starts you’ll be moving around enough to get warm. You stop thinking about your cold toes as soon as the door of the country club opens and the Lees and Huangs walk out.
The first time you lay eyes on Huang Renjun, you think your heart might stop.
You know it’s him because he walks close to his father as they make their way to where you’re standing by the golf carts. He has obviously dyed blonde color, his dark roots proof of that; it’s neatly gelled back in an effortless way with the light wind blowing a few of the locks gently as if an angel is personally moving them for him. His white jacket and black pants are slim and look like they cost more than all of your college textbooks this semester. He walks with his head high, his pretty, pink lips set in a straight line, and his almond eyes gentle.
Okay, so... maybe you understand the hype now.
“Good evening, ladies.” Mr. Lee announces, looking at you and your coworkers. You all politely introduce yourself and state who you’ll be caddying for.
Huang Lijun isn’t as tall as his son, but he looks to be more lively than Renjun, even at his age. He has a permanent smile on his lips and you can feel a friendly demeanor radiating from him when you approach.  
“Good Morning, sir. Let me take those off of your hands.” You politely grab the bag of clubs from him, feeling shy as his gaze doesn’t leave your face the entire time.
“You’re new here, right? I feel like I would remember you if I saw you before.” You’re surprised when he suddenly pinches your cheek, and he laughs at your shocked face. An unsettled feeling plants itself at the bottom of your stomach at the unwarranted touch.
“I’ve only been working here for a month, sir.”
“I think I’ll be coming around here more often, then.” He winks at you and turns to go sit in the front seat of the golf cart. You can’t help but let the feeling at the bottom of your stomach grow at how the older man looks at you. You definitely misjudged his “friendly” demeanor. Your eyes can’t help but glance at Renjun, who’s standing a few feet away from the whole interaction. He gives you a blank stare before turning and following his father.
In the past few weeks, you had gotten many lustful smiles and lewd gazes at your bare legs, but also many dollars in tips just in one morning by letting those smiles and gazes happen. The need to make ends meet justifies it all, and the cash you earn at the end of every shift only fuels this need.
The ride from the club’s main building to the first hole is short, so you quickly recompose yourself. You still have a job to do— a job you’re being paid lots of money for. You believe in your strong will to put up with whatever antics Mr. Huang pulls for the next few hours. Upon arrival at the first hole, you pull the bag of golf clubs out of the cart and follow in Mr. Huang’s quick footsteps, suddenly feeling sweaty from the exercise you’re getting by carrying these heavy clubs. When your group reaches the first hole, you set the bag down on the ground and press your hand over your face, but Mr. Huang’s voice startles you.
“Woah, there.” You jump and face him. “Those clubs cost more than my car, and unlike my car, they don’t deserve to be on the ground, darling.”
“Yes, sir. I apologize.” You smile shyly and pick up the clubs from the ground, your shoulders already straining to keep them up. ‘They weigh as much as a car,’ you huff.
This is going to be a long game.
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“You kids can clean the carts today,” Mina suddenly throws a keychain at Lia’s face, she barely catches it before it hits her, “I have plans.”
“Me, too.” Kara quickly says, following after Mina as they both walk away. The game ended right at lunchtime (the Lees won) and now you and your coworkers are back at the club. It’s supposed to be everyone’s job to clean the golf carts after they’ve been used, but it looks like today it’ll just be you and Lia… Maybe.
“___, please. I’m going to be late to the cafe, my boss there is already mad at me.” Lia turns to you and begs with her hands clasped in front of her chest, eyes pleading and feet bouncing. You sigh; you’re hungry and your muscles are sore, and all you want to do is go home as quickly as you can. Still, you roll your eyes and take the golf cart keys from her, making her face crack open into a smile as she hugs you quickly.
“I’ll bring you coffee on Monday!” She screams at you as she practically runs away, leaving you with two golf carts to clean. You sluggishly begin, crawling into the cart the Huangs were sitting in when you find a small notebook laying on one of the seats. Picking it up to examine it, you find out it’s your university’s yearly planner, a book that everyone gets at the beginning of every academic year. Along the binder reads “Huang Renjun” and your eyes widen, immediately looking up to glance at the direction that Renjun walked off to a while ago.
Your legs move quickly through the corridors of the club, moving past changing rooms, saunas, and bathrooms, the planner tightly clutched in your hand. Your head is on a swivel and your lower lip is stuck between your teeth, until you hear a door open and slam shut behind you, making you turn your head to catch Renjun walking out of a changing room.
“Mr. Huang!” You call out.. Renjun freezes at the name, spinning on his heel to see you walking towards him.
“Sorry to disturb you, but you left your planner on the golf cart.” You hold it out for him, but he doesn’t take it.
“How do you know it’s a planner? Did you look through it?” You blink at him, stunned, and then glance down at the notebook. You’re surprised by the sudden questions and at the same time annoyed that Renjun accused you of snooping through his things so quickly. The image you had of him earlier, graceful, classy, and attractive, slips out of your mind as he stares down at you. However, this is the first time he’s directly talking to you, and you can’t help the spark that ignites in your belly from the roughness in his voice. It’s higher-pitched, but unpolished and jagged as he speaks with you.
“No. I go to the same University. I have the same one.” You explain. Renjun’s stare turns into shock.
“Really? Which department?”
“Fine Arts. I study Studio Art.” At first you think that you’re seeing things, but after blinking, you can guarantee that Renjun has jealousy painted on his face. It’s so sour that he looks away, trying to preoccupy his hands by fiddling with his bag. “So, are you going to take this, or…?”
“Yeah,” The bitterness drips from his tone, but you have a feeling it’s not directed at you, “Thank you for returning it.” He finally accepts it and turns to his bag, taking out his wallet. The cards inside look thick and heavy; memberships to places you’ll never step foot in and credit cards with limits you could never even imagine. Your pride tells you that you don’t need anything he could give you, so you silently turn around and walk away.
Renjun shuffles through some crisp 10’s and 20’s, but when he looks up to give you the tip, you’re already down the hallway and halfway out the door. You have golf carts to clean.
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The next time you see Renjun is a week after the last game. The chilly weather remains, along with the useless uniform you have to wear, but this time around you’re not Mr. Huang’s caddie, you’re Renjun’s.
Kara walks next to you with Mr. Huang’s heavy golf clubs, her lips straight and head turned away from you to show her annoyance at how the caddie match up situation went this week. You’re sure to get an earful about this for at least the next few days, but you kind of like this revenge that fate dealt Kara. Either way, it’s not like there’s anything you can do about the match up. Renjun requested you to be his caddie this week, and you weren’t going to risk your bosses being angry with you by denying the request.
“Driver.” Renjun’s voice pulls you into the game. You pull out the correct golf club and put it into his awaiting hand, your fingertips brushing with his. “Aren’t you cold?” The words shock you, considering they’re the first words Renjun spoke to you today other than commands for golf clubs.
“I-I’m fine, Mr. Huang.” You respond promptly.
“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy, and he quickly realizes how unnecessary it is to bite at you like that, “Just call me Renjun.” His father walks back from his shot, looking very smug. Renjun’s face is calm as he trades spots with his father and prepares for his first swing of the day, correcting his posture and loosening his limbs.
You remember the first time you saw him, how elegant and poised he looked. Your cold hands break into a sweat as your chest heats up from the quick beating of your heart. Renjun has only been icy and accusing towards you so far, yet you still feel warm while thinking about him. There has to be something wrong with you.
“Doesn’t my son look like he knows what he’s doing?” Mr. Huang asks from beside you, a small, unnerving smile on his lips.
“Yes, sir.” You reply back with your own, more innocent, smile.
“I taught him everything he knows about golf…. And women.” Mr. Huang leans into you, turning his chest to face you so that his breath is hitting your cheek. You can’t help but swallow to relieve your dry and cold throat, keeping your eyes forward as Renjun swings his club back and forth a bit in preparation.
“Yes, sir.” The only thought on your mind is to stop this man from stepping closer.
“Is that the only thing you can say?”
Renjun swings his arm back, breathing in as he keeps his eyes on the small white ball and his hopes in the green before him. Mr. Huang’s right hand is warm on your waist, but you would give anything to freeze right now.
A sharp crack ripples through the air as Renjun hits the golf ball and sends it flying into the golf course. His eyes are not where the ball lands, but instead on where his father touches you.
Renjun’s mom died when he was not even three days old.
He never got to meet her— to lay on her chest and hold her finger with his whole hand. He’ll never know what advice she would’ve given him when he got his first girlfriend, and he’ll never know how she would’ve reacted to him crashing his first car when he was 17. He only knows that his mom would’ve been there for him through all of that, unlike his father, who was not.
Renjun has had “mothers” through his life; three, to be exact. The first was when he was 5 years old, and she quickly asked for a divorce after Renjun’s dad went on a three month business trip and she didn’t hear from him the whole time. The second “mother” was a bit more mature than the first and with a lot more time on her hands. She wanted to shape 9 year old Renjun into a perfect student, which was something Renjun’s father appreciated, but still divorced her for “being too strong-headed.” Renjun only met his third mother twice when he was 13: once at the wedding and the second time at her funeral. He didn’t ask any questions, he wasn’t very interested in the first place.
These were the type of people Renjun spent his life around, but they really weren’t his mothers. The only similarity he had with those women was his father, and he treated them as poorly as he treated Renjun. That’s why when Renjun looks at you, cowering away from the very man who is his only link to family, he feels sick.
When is his dad going to stop being a fucking predator? How young does he want his next conquest to be? Will Renjun’s next mom be the same age as him? Something swirls in the pit of his stomach when he watches his father and it takes a moment for him to figure out what it is: jealousy. He’s not sure why he’s feeling jealous over someone he just met last week, but the feeling engulfs his whole chest and it burns him to his spot.
Renjun doesn’t even notice that he swung his golf club or that the golf ball went somewhere far into the green, probably an overshot. He only sees you, afraid of the man touching you but not stepping away. Why aren’t you stepping away?
“Nice job, Renjun.” His best friend, Jeno, claps a hand on his back as he steps up, hitting Renjun back into reality and forcing him to walk towards you. As Renjun approaches, his father slyly takes his hand away, and Renjun notices how you let out a relieved sigh. Giving you back his driver, Renjun strategically stands between you and his father, pretending to watch Jeno swing.
“Good job… Renjun.” You whisper, unsure about calling him by his first name so informally.
“Thank you.” Renjun sends a side glance to his father to see the displeased look on his face. “How was that, Dad?” Renjun hopes that maybe he can remind his father of why he’s here (to win against the Lees this week, not to feel up a girl 30 years younger than him) but in this moment, his father is acting like a 5 year old in the middle of a silent tantrum, not a 50 year old who runs the most successful construction company in the country.
“I’ve taught you better than that.” Renjun is sure they’re not talking about golf anymore, the authoritative tone in his father’s voice sends a lightning bolt of surprise and slight fear down Renjun’s back. He hates how he gets scared, he hates how his father can control him. The fury churns in the pit of his stomach as he accepts his father’s words with a bow of his head.
One day, Renjun swears he won’t submit anymore.
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After the game ended with the Lees winning once again, you, Lia, and your other coworkers convene at the golf carts after the clients leave to change inside the club.
“You ladies know the drill.” Kara throws both sets of golf cart keys at you before walking off with Mina. You push Lia towards the entrance of the building before she even has a chance to turn around and open her mouth.
“You should get to the cafe before your boss throws another fit.” Lia turns back to face you, her jaw slightly slack and her eyes shining.
“You’re seriously the best. I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah, just give me a few extra shots in my coffee on Monday.” Lia laughs at that, grabbing your face between her two small, manicured hands and kissing you on each cheek before hopping off inside. You can’t help but be amused at her antics, turning to the golf carts in front of you to start cleaning.
“They make you clean the carts by yourself?” The voice startles you, not because you weren’t expecting it but because it’s Renjun’s. You turn your head over your shoulder, he’s standing just a few feet away still in his golfing gear from earlier.
“Uh, not usually, no. But my coworkers haven’t been happy with me lately.” You explain, fully turning to him and crossing your arms over your chest to tuck your cold hands into your sides.
“The ones who have been working here for a while?” You nod as an answer, and Renjun nods back in understanding, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “They’ve been trying to get with me and my best friend for a while...” Renjun trails off when he sees your eyebrows raise at the comment, “... But that’s not what I came here to talk about.”
“Oh? What are you here for?” The conversation has gotten too informal for a worker and their client to be having, but you kind of like talking to Renjun in this casual setting.
“I realized that the past few times we’ve talked I’ve been such a dick.” He laughs lightly as he remembers, “I wanted to apologize for that. I wasn’t in a good mood last week and this morning, and I ended up pushing it on you.”
Renjun feels lots of emotions when it comes to you, despite only having this one proper conversation with you. He feels envy towards you for being able to study something that he desperately wants to. He feels guilt when he remembers how quickly he made you into a thief when you were only trying to return his belongings, and he feels so many other secondary and tertiary emotions in between. His head is full when he looks at you. He finally feels like he’s thinking about something, not just doing the same day to day motions in a constant cycle of ‘when will this end?’
“You’re apologizing?” You ask, stunned when he nods his head in confirmation. Sincere apologies are important to you. You believe there are not enough of them in this world anymore, and his gentle almond eyes are too wholehearted and warm for you in this cold weather. Your heart feels full looking at him, and you curse at yourself in your head for being swayed like this.
“I also have a question… You mentioned you’re majoring in Studio Art and I was wondering if, maybe, you could let me into one of the studios after a class this week? I’ve been needing a quiet place to work since my house has been busy lately.” One of the hands that was in Renjun’s pocket moves to matte down his sideburns while he glances at his shoes. “Was that too forward? Sorry, I just know that you can’t get into a studio without a passcode and you’re the only person I know who’s in Studio Art.” Renjun explains after you stare for a while, blinking at him.
“You’re an artist?” You finally ask, Renjun giving you a weak ‘yeah’ in response. A part of you wants to say no, that it’ll be weird to do something like this for him when you’ve only known him for less than 2 weeks and up until this point, you’ve only been in a worker-client relationship. However, you’re curious about what he’s like outside of this setting, especially what he’s like when his father has no possibility of appearing, since that seems to be the factor that turns his mood up or down.
“Sure. Come by studio 3 after 6pm on Wednesday and I’ll let you in, but... I heard Mr. Lee already scheduled a game for next weekend?” Renjun nods, “Then in return, you can win that game. It’s embarrassing always being on the losing team.” You smile playfully at the end to let him know you’re only joking.
“Deal.” Renjun sends a smile back of the same caliber, holding out a hand to shake with yours. If you thought you were affected by Renjun’s nice presence, his hand in yours sends you into another realm. His touch is warm from staying indoors and from keeping his hands in his pockets, and they contrast to your cold skin. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when your hands connect, turning your hand in his grip to look at your knuckles. “Are you sure you’re not cold? Your hands are freezing.”
“I’ll be okay. I just don’t have any good gloves to wear while working.” He huffs, small traces of white smoke leaves his mouth as he digs through his pockets.
“Wear these.” He replaces his hand in yours with a pair of his own gloves, “Your hands are precious, they shouldn’t be freezing.” Before Renjun can get embarrassed by his own words, he shoves his hands back into his pockets and turns on his heel, walking away, “I’ll see you on Wednesday!”
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A knock on the studio doors shakes you away from staring at your painting, making you turn to look at who it is. Renjun peaks through the small window and waves when you make eye contact. You get up to open the door, almost forgetting that today is the day you agreed to let Renjun into your studio.
… Okay, that’s a lie. You definitely remembered that you’re supposed to meet Renjun, but you keep trying to convince yourself that you’re not excited about seeing him outside of that stuffy country club.
“Hey, sorry if I startled you.” Is the first thing he says when you open the door. He’s dressed in slacks, a dress shirt with a sweater over it, and a long coat over that. His nose and cheeks are slightly red from the rough wind outside and his supplies are clutched to his chest.
“Oh, you’re fine. I was just deep in thought.” Something about the studio makes both of you speak in hushed tones. No one else is here, but you feel the need to maintain the peace and quiet the room naturally holds. You and Renjun make your way to where you’re set up, he puts his things down on an easel to your left and takes off his coat, watching you from his peripheral vision.
Those uniforms they make you wear at work are just for show, Renjun knows that well, but that doesn’t stop him from appreciating you in the tight vest and little skirt. However right now, he likes your laid back look consisting of loose jeans and a layered shirt, he thinks it matches you.
“I was going to leave when you got here, but I think I’ll just finish this and head out.” You comment, aimlessly waving at your project.
“Please, stay as long as you need to. This is your studio, I don’t want to kick you out.” He laughs and licks his bottom lip. It’s breathtaking how innocent and nice his smile looks on his face. His eyes scrunch together to form laugh lines and his cheeks rise, he truly looks pretty when he smiles. You think this is the first time you’ve seen him like this.
You mumble back with a mixture of words that probably didn’t make sense and turn back to your work, leaving the room to continue with its peacefulness and quiet. However, Renjun’s presence next to you is too big to ignore. There are so many things you want to know about him and you have no excuse as to why you’re so curious.
“How about a game while we work?” You suggest.
“Sure… How about 20 questions?” It’s like he read your mind, so you smile and nod at his idea.
“You can go first.” You suggest.
“Okay, uh… Why do you work at a golf course if you’re majoring in Studio Art? Shouldn’t you be working at a, I don’t know, museum?” The question catches you off guard and Renjun notices how you stop painting, your brush and your hand floating in the air as you think, “Oh, sorry, is that too personal?”
“No, no… It’s just, normally, the first question people ask in a game of 20 questions is something like ‘what’s your favorite color’ or ‘what’s your sign’.” Renjun lets out a choked and embarrassed laugh, ducking his head down to look away from you. You can tell he’s about to change his question, so you quickly go back to painting and speak before he can.
“I did apply to work at several museums. I didn’t get any jobs, so I had to look elsewhere and Augusta was hiring. I know it’s not very fitting, but it makes good money and rich people know my name, even if it’s for just a few hours.” Renjun nods at your answer as if he could ever understand the idea of being poor, but the insight into your decision brings a fact to light that Renjun wasn’t 100% aware of before: you’re not like him, you need money.
“Don’t you hate the way people look at you there?” The words tumble out of Renjun’s lips faster than he can process the weight they carry. He turns to face you with guilt pooling in his eyes and his mouth opening and closing to find some words to correct the situation.
“No, I don’t like it.” You surprise him with your quick response, “But people like you don’t understand what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, to have to worry about how to pay the bills every month for years on end, always on your toes about money. I bet you think I’m cheap and—”
“No.” Renjun cuts you off promptly before you can continue, “Don’t make me into a jerk. I’m not like that. But the fact that that is the first thing you thought of worries me.” Your eyes widen at that, prompting him to elaborate. “Doesn’t that mean that’s how you think of yourself? Maybe not on the outside, but subconsciously. Sure, I won’t ever be able to understand how you live, but I wish you would not look at yourself as cheap and think of yourself as… beautiful.” Renjun lets the last words linger on his tongue, saying it quietly as if to not startle you.
You stare at him, your paintbrush resting in your hand and your back slouched as you watch him watch you. This is not the type of conversation you thought you’d be having with Renjun tonight, but you have to admit he makes a point. Eventually, you turn to your painting and stare at it some more, making Renjun turn and continue his own work.
“Ah, I asked two questions in a row.” He suddenly breaks the tense atmosphere, making you sigh as you remember you’re just playing a game, “You can ask two questions.”
He allows and relaxes when he sees you go back to painting.
“If you like to draw, why are you a business major?” Now it’s Renjun’s turn to freeze. Maybe if he did ask what your favorite color was he wouldn’t have had to endure this question from you, but he feels like he should answer it since it’s of equal weight to the one he asked you.
“It wasn’t my choice. I will most likely take my father’s place in his company and I need to at least know the basics before that happens.” You nod slowly. He looks so calm when he’s focused on drawing, but it’s not the same calm that you see on his face when he’s playing golf. You turn away before you get caught staring.
“Is that why your mood always changes when your dad is around?”
“Is it that obvious…” He trails off and you nod, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this out loud, but… It’s like everytime I’m around him, or at his office, or at home, my mind goes blank. I don’t feel like talking or thinking at all.” As he speaks, he sets down his utensils and turns to you, making continuous eye contact as he explains. You find yourself feeling comfortable at how easily he’s talking to you about such a deep subject.
“It sounds like… you’re angry.” You turned to face him now too, your paintbrush settled onto your canvas and your full attention on him, “My dad is like that. He gets so angry sometimes that he’s calm. No yelling or fighting, just silence. That’s how I know I messed up when he gets like that.” You nod, remembering all the times he’s been calmly mad at you.
“I don’t know… It’s confusing to me.” He straightens his back and stares at your foot as it moves around aimlessly. “What do I do?” He asks into the air, as if his pencil would suddenly start talking to him like a therapist.
“Just do what makes you happy.” Renjun’s glance over at you makes a smile pull at your lips, “I know it’s easier said than done. But you already know what it is that’ll make you happy, and that’s half of the battle. Why bottle it up?”
Renjun doesn’t know how he’ll ever get the courage to tell his father these things, but the way you’re looking at him as if he can do anything, he starts to feel tingles of confidence trickle into him.
“Oh, and why did you pick me to be your caddie this past weekend?”
“Well…” Renjun plays with his pencil. What is he supposed to say? He doesn’t want you to carry around his father’s heavy golf clubs? He doesn’t like the way his father touches you and gets jealous over it for some unknown reason? Yeah, he’s not going to say.
“Just because… I wanted you next to me.” The way he says it makes it sound so simple and true, but your heart drops to your stomach and springs back up going at 100 miles per hour. You can barely stop your hand from shaking as you pick up your brush, and it’s almost like you can’t see in front of you from the thrill of his words.
“Hey,” Renjun suddenly drops his pencil and turns to you, looking a bit confused and slightly upset, “Didn’t you ask three questions?”
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“We’re letting the Lees win again today.” Renjun is in the middle of pulling up the zipper of his jacket when his father drops the news. Renjun’s footsteps stutter slightly at his father’s words and he stops walking next to the older man.
“Again?” He asks as he already thinks up an apology to tell you later when he loses.
“Yes, I need Mr. Lee to be happy when I bring up the new contract to him later in the sauna.” Renjun sighs and continues to walk next to his father. It’s the next weekend, and the third Lee vs. Huang game is starting in just a few minutes.
Renjun won’t lie, purposefully losing to his best friend and his dad every week is not the greatest stroke to Renjun’s ego, especially since Jeno won’t let it down around his other friends.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Lijun swivels on his heel to look at his son, “Have you been requesting for ___ to be your caddie?”
The questions stuns Renjun, making it hard to answer so his father takes it as a yes.
“Well stop it. Dad wants to have some fun.” He claps a hand on Renjun’s back and  smiles. In the past, Renjun would’ve just rolled his eyes and let his father do whatever he wants, but this time his blood boils. He feels true anger when his father struts away with the intentions of doing whatever he wants to someone Renjun cares about. He can barely move his feet after the old man, his mind cloudy as everyone makes it to the golf carts.
“Let’s have a good game today, Mr. Huang, don’t make it too easy to beat you.” Mr. Lee jokes around and the two old men laugh as they settle into their own golf carts. Renjun walks up to his cart and you wave to him, the white gloves he gave you last week snugly on your hands. Renjun thinks his anger is what spurs him into doing what he does next.
He steps close to you, leaning into your ear and wrapping his hand around your covered ones with his thumb rubbing on your exposed wrist, “Keep these on for me, babe. I don’t want you to be cold.”
The amount of jaws that drops after Renjun’s words makes him bite down his smirk and slide into the front seat of the golf cart, pretending to not see the daggers his father is  throwing at him with his eyes.
Your heart beats so quickly and loudly you’re sure Kara can hear it next to you if she wasn’t busy huffing about what Renjun just did. Sitting in the back seat of the golf cart, you watch the back of Renjun’s head on the way to the first hole. What got into Renjun? Why did he all of a sudden call you ‘babe’ and get so close? Not that you’re opposed to it, you’re just shocked.
The game begins once you reach the first hole, and the Huang’s put up a good fight throughout the entire game, keeping the Lees on their toes and the score sheet even. Everytime Renjun comes back from a shot, you smile at him and tell him good job, which earns you a pat on the back from him that warms you up from the inside out.
Renjun can tell his father is getting more and more annoyed with him; how Renjun is keeping you as far from his father as he possibly can, the gentle touches on your waist that you welcome wholeheartedly compared to the ones Mr. Huang would lay on you before. He likes how angry his father gets, especially knowing that he can’t do anything about it right now. Not to mention, you seem to be enjoying Renjun’s attention, which just adds to his confidence.
Now, your group arrives at the last hole of the game. The Lees step up and swing, setting their total score to 357. All Renjun and his father have to do is move the ball around a bit more to get their score to be higher and the Lees will win the game. Mr. Huang is up first, acting clumsy so that the ball doesn’t make it into the hole and brings the game to Renjun.
As he sets up his posture, his hands suddenly go stiff. This shot is so easy to make, he has made this exact hole several times. He breathes in and out deeply, deciding on if he should throw the game like his father said he should, or give his one last ‘fuck you’ to his Dad.
He glances at you and makes eye contact; you nod your head and smile a bit as if to say ‘go ahead, we all know you can do this.’ Renjun then grips his golf club and swings it back to effortlessly hit the golf ball, rolling it along the green and perfectly into the hole.
You and the other caddies clap for the perfectly executed shot and Jeno and his father come up to Renjun to shake hands. They don’t look upset, instead they look pretty happy for Renjun. However, Renjun’s father is deathly silent, not even congratulating Renjun on his win. Renjun wasn’t expecting a whole ceremony for him, but it does feel nice to put his father down a peg or two today, and that’s the thought that fills Renjun’s head as everyone rides back to the country club.
While getting out of the golf cart, Renjun attempts to turn back to you but is promptly pulled away by the back of his jacket by his father. Renjun yelps and pulls away, but that doesn’t stop Lijun from grabbing onto his son’s arm instead and pulling him inside.
“What was that? I specifically told you to lose the game and you did the exact opposite. How am I supposed to talk to Mr. Lee now?” Renjun’s father fumes, his low voice belting out into the corridor and making some of the passing staff turn their heads.
“That’s not my problem.” Renjun shrugs and his father stops shaking, stepping closer to his son.
“Excuse me?” He asks with menace dripping from his tongue.
“I said, that’s not my problem.” Renjun is fired up. He doesn’t see a way out of this now, no way his behavior is being excused, so might as well go all in.
“You did it for that caddie, ___, right?” His father squints his eyes and turns his head slightly. When Renjun doesn’t answer, Lijun laughs in his face, “It looks like I’m right.”
“What?” Renjun asks dumbly.
“It’s okay. You’re just a boy and you can make some mistakes over a girl, we’ve all been there once or twice.” Lijun fixes Renjun’s jacket and pats his shoulder, his angry disposition turning passive. “Besides, you can’t do much for that girl anyway. Is a ball in a hole really all she deserves?”
“I won the game because I could. I won it because that’s what I wanted.” Renjun states, his blood beginning to boil once again when his father says he doesn’t deserve you. What is he thinking? Does he actually think he has a chance with you? He can keep dreaming.
“We can’t always do whatever we want. There are consequences we have to face for doing whatever we want. Are you ready to face the consequences?” At the question, Renjun is reminded about the words you told him Wednesday night.
‘Just do what makes you happy,’ Those simple words are so hard to turn into reality. Renjun wants to be happy so bad. He wants to be away from this man and he wants to be closer to you. The consequences? Sure, he’ll deal with it all if it means he can stop living in the personal hell his father set up for him. Renjun pushes his father away a bit and steps out of the trap his father pushed him into, making Lijun’s eyes widen.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Renjun says and turns around, walking back towards the exit of the building.
“Hey, where are you going?” His father shouts after him.
“To do the thing that I want to do the most.” He yells back and walks around the corner, out of sight from his father. Renjun practically runs through the hallways to get back outside and run to you, but you surprise him by greeting him by the saunas. He stops in his steps and you smile as you walk up to him.
“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you did really well today. I know I said I wanted you to win last week, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” You laugh.
“Thanks.” Renjun simply says, afraid of what else could come out if he keeps talking.
“Oh, I also want to give you these back.” You dig out Renjun’s gloves from your pocket, holding them out. This is it. This is the moment Renjun will start to do whatever makes him happy, whatever he wants.
And what he wants right now is you.
He quickly takes the gloves and then tightly grips the wrist of your outstretched hand, leading you down the hallway and around some corner. He hears you exclaim a small ‘woah’ but you let him guide you into a sauna, the door closing tightly behind both of you.
There’s no one else in the room, just the stuffy steam that floats in the small space between you two. Renjun has a tight grip on the gloves you gave back to him and his other hand runs through his hair and messes up the perfect form it held.
“Tell me to stop.” He demands, looking straight into your eyes.
“What?”
“Tell me to stop right now.” He takes a step forward, his eyes full to the brim with lust and his hands shaking with how much he’s holding himself together. You’ve barely been in the room for a minute, but your clothes are already sticking to you from the intense heat.
“I don’t understand,” You reply back as he keeps moving toward you. You take small steps back in return, “I don’t know what I’m stopping you from.” Half of you is playing dumb right now; you know what Renjun wants from you just by the look in his eyes. The other half just wants to hear him say it himself
“I’ll fuck you the way you deserve. Right here, right now.” Renjun’s voice is too angelic to say such nasty words, but he growls them out like he’s a tainted angel. You’re pressed against the wooden wall of the sauna now, Renjun just a step away. You lean into him slightly and rip the gloves out of his hand to throw them to the side.
“Do it.”
It’s all the permission Renjun needs to feverishly connect his lips to yours.
The action is so sudden, you don’t remember how Renjun got close to you so quickly. Despite his forcefulness before, his lips melt into you like chocolate melting over a fire, so hot and delicious that you just want more. His hands hold the sides of your face, pushing back your hair and his body pushing you back into the wall.
He sucks on your bottom lip, softly biting afterwards and making you let out a whimper, and then a moan when his thigh pushes between your legs and further presses you against the wall. Amidst the kissing, you find the zipper of his expensive jacket, unzip it, and pull the piece of clothing off. Afterwards, you pull his shirt off and break the kiss while you’re at it.
“I’ve been thinking about you in this skirt since….” Renjun hums at the thought, his hand sliding up your bare thighs and under your skirt, then he grips your ass and brings your core down onto his thigh, the friction enough to have you letting out a strangled moan.
“Since the day I first saw you.” He finally whispers and connects your lips once again. His hand on your ass doesn’t move, his other hand is placed on your waist as he helps you ride the rough material of his pants. Renjun can only watch your reactions; the way your head lolls back into the wall and your eyes screw shut, holding onto Renjun’s shoulders tight enough he’s sure there will be marks afterwards.
“Fuck— Renjun, don’t stop, please.” He’s mesmerized, absolutely addicted to how you look and sound right now, and it’s all because of him. The thought spurs him along, he removes your jacket and you blindly help him in removing your top and bra. You must look like a mess right now, especially since you’re coming close to your climax just by Renjun’s touch and his thigh. Not to mention the sweat dripping down both of you, a glistening sheen coating your skin that makes Renjun let out a low growl before he leans down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth.
He sucks and swirls his tongue, and you can’t help but moan his name again, digging your fingers into his blonde hair and tugging. Renjun moves from your chest downward, not letting an inch of your stomach and hips go past him without a kiss and a nibble, leaving you breathing heavily. He makes his way down to his knees and folds your skirt up, glancing at  you from his position.
“You don’t wear anything under here except your panties?” You nod, your head stuttering as Renjun applies pressure with his thumb over your slick hole, a wet spot already there to greet him.
“You’re so fucking dirty, baby.” He groans and leans in to swipe his tongue over your center making you shake as a response. He slides your underwear down and throws it somewhere to the side, catching the sigh of your arousal dripping down your thigh. His intense stare makes you shake him, embarrassment crawling over you at how he’s not reacting.
“Are you shy?” You whine, not really answering his question. “You don’t need to be. You’re beautiful.” The softness from his voice contradicts his more dominating tone from before, but you don’t have time to think about it before he dives in. You sigh in content when the pressure in between your hips caused by Renjun turns into pure pleasure. His tongue laps at your essence and his lips suck on your clit, you can tell he’s trying to find what exactly will make you tick.
When Renjun slides a finger into your hole unexpectedly, you jump and whimper a bit but the feeling of him sliding in and out along with his tongue circling and sucking on your clit makes a knot form in the pit of your stomach, tightening up your muscles and making your eyes roll back.
“Right there. Oh my god, right there…” You keep repeating, praying that Renjun treats you good and let’s you come. He adds another finger and you gasp, starting to move your hips in rhythm to his hand, holding onto his shoulders for more stability. He glances up at you, watching your eyes screw shut and your tits bounce as you use his hand to get yourself off. Renjun hums against you, and you can almost feel the ecstasy of coming undone, until Renjun pulls away. You groan, feeling like crying when your orgasm fades.
“Hey..” You whine, pouting when Renjun stands back up and licks your juices off of his lips. He has some on his chin and you bring your hand up to wipe it away, Renjun stopping your hand and kissing the wetness away, then kissing up your arm and to your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear. He tugs at your earlobe, licking the skin under it and biting some more, his hands sliding up your waist at playing with your nipples, pinching a little to get whimpers out of you and making your hips buck up, ready to continue where Renjun left you at.
That’s when you feel the hardness in his pants; it must be painful. That’s why you understand his next words, whispered into the shell of your ear between kisses: “You’re not coming until I’m in you, got it?”
You nod quickly, attaching your hands to Renjun’s zipper and button, undoing them and sliding down his pants.
“But, you’re gonna need to do something for me…” He says, helping you pull down his boxers, watching his angry, red length swing out. You gasp, feeling a bit bad that you just left Renjun like this to eat you out, but you’re sure you can make up to him now.
“What is it? I’ll do it.” Your hands run over Renjun’s sweaty shoulders, moving away some longer hair in the back of his head that’s sticking against his neck.
“You’re gonna have to yell my name. I need you to let everyone know who’s doing this to you— who’s making you feel good, okay?” Your breath gets caught in your throat as the words tumble out of his lips. He tilts his voice higher at the end of every phrase to make him sound innocent, but you’re not fooled.
“There’s people outside…” You mumble back, sending a glance at the door. You know there are several staff and customers walking along the hallways outside. What will they think if they hear you screaming Renjun’s name? Not to talk about what will happen to your job.
Those thoughts melt away when Renjun’s dick slides between your folds slowly, making you turn your gaze back to him and hold on tight as he lubricates himself over your wetness, holding onto your hips so that you don’t move and take anymore than what he’s giving you.
“That’s exactly why I want you to scream. Can you do that for me?” He asks and you nod frantically, doing almost anything to get his dick inside you. You’re not sure what’s going to happen once you step out of this room, but at least you know Renjun is going to give you the best fuck you’ve had in a while, and you know it’ll be worth it for what’s to come after all this.
“Finally…” You moan when Renjun’s length disappears into you inch by inch, going slow as to not hurt you. He sucks in a breath through his teeth as he bottoms out, picking up your thigh to hang it over his hip and wrapping his other arm around your waist to keep you close. You hold onto him, adjusting as he kisses your lips sweetly and carefully, and waits to move his throbbing cock through your velvety walls.
“Go, Renjun, move….” You whisper, and he looks at you confused.
“What was that? I didn’t hear you.” He asks, cocking his head.
“Please, move.” You say louder, but he shakes his head and purses his lips as if he still can’t understand.
“I said, fuck me, Renjun. Please, can you fuck me already?” You all but scream out, your voice almost cracking at how whiny you sound. No doubt, if someone passed by outside they would’ve heard you. The thought makes you tense up, but it feels so good to be able to yell out what you want.
“Your wish, baby.” Renjun mutters before he starts rocking into you. You both groan at the sensation, Renjun’s hips speeding up as he gains more momentum. His lips don’t leave yours, kissing you into oblivion while his dick stuffs you. He has you against the wall, his hips powering away and you don’t dare to disturb him, realizing he’s burning all of his anger away as well.
“Yes, Renjun, fuck me just like that…'' You moan loudly to spur him on, now not really caring about who’s outside or who hears you, just wanting Renjun to know you love how rough he’s going. He presses you higher up the wall and pulls your legs apart more, hitting a new angle that literally makes you scream out, tears mixing with the sweat on your face as he relentlessly pumps into you.
There are so many things going on at the same time. Your hard nipples and soft breasts rubbing against Renjun’s chest, making goosebumps rise on his arms. Your hot and sweaty bodies are basically sliding against each other. The clapping of his hips against yours no doubt attracts attention from outside along with your screams and Renjun’s grunts continuously get louder as you both get closer to the climax.
“I’m gonna come… Renjun, come in me…” You’re already fucked out, the words barely leaving your lips coherently, but Renjun understands and moves his finger down to find your clit, circling his thumb fast and steady, just like everything else he’s doing.
“C’mon come on my cock, babe. Let it out, I wanna hear it.” And just like that, you unwind and scream his name as your orgasm washes over and takes control, making you claw onto any part of Renjun that you can reach. Renjun feels your walls deliciously convulse around him and with a few more sloppy thrusts, he comes into you and fills you up, staying wrapped up in you as you both calm down.
Renjun presses small kisses wherever he feels like as your breathing settles down, his softness and the caring way he rubs at your sides and hips where he was holding so hard that you’re sure to have bruises makes you smile hazily.
“___… I don’t regret any of this.” He whispers into your skin, leaning back to look at you properly. “Do you?”
“No.” You answer truthfully, making his eyes shine and you both smile dumbly, your sticking bodies relaxing. The happy moment doesn’t last long before there’s a knock on the door to the sauna. You and Renjun stiffen up as you glance at the door, waiting for whoever it is to announce themselves.
“Renjun? Son?” Your heart drops to your stomach and you cover your mouth at the voice of Renjun’s father on the other side of the door, but when you turn to Renjun, he doesn’t seem bothered. He sends a smile at you and moves some hair from your face before answering.
“Occupied, go somewhere else. We’re busy.”
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gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: August 8th
Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.
But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.
Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?
I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.
Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 
You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.
hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 
It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.
Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)
Both type of options will be available!
Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 
It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.
Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 
If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.
Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 
She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.
Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 
Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.
Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?
It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.
Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+
ps i love your games so much <3
It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!
Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 
You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.
Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 
Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.
Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 
They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.
I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 
Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.
How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 
He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.
Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 
Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.
In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 
Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.
I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 
It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.
Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 
Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.
It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!
Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.
hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 
Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.
wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 
You can check out the FAQ linked above!
does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 
Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.
Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?
No, they just don’t have enough time together.
We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.
Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?
No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.
I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀
Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.
So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name
It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.
will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 
Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.
I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 
I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.
I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 
Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.
Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 
The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.
Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 
There is a set timeline!
Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 
And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.
i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 
Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.
Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 
We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.
how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 
Hopefully for at least a few more years.
Are you considering ever making merch? 
Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.
hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 
I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!
Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 
That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.
Hi, how are you?!
Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??
Thanks!!
Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!
perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 
He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.
i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 
I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.
In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 
Yep, you will be able to talk about that!
Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!
If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.
Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.
That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.
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karasunology · 4 years
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❝WHAT ARE THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES?❞
◯ how they show their love to you | featuring . . . karasuno team.
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➤ KARASUNO.
#DAICHI → the type of boyfriend that'll never let you walk closer to the busier side of the street ― he'll always be the one next to the busy street, walking side by side with you in the sidewalk while his arms are around you, keeping you close by so he won't lose you especially whenever there's a large crowd.
#SUGAWARA → never hesitates to take care and dote on you. whenever you're sick, he's always there by your side and never leaves you ― makes you hot porraige, constantly reminds you about the specific time you need to drink your medicine EVEN THOUGH he already has a reminder set on his phone for it ( ― just in case, he thinks. ) never wants to make you feel worse than you already are so he just lets you rests for the rest of the day and if you have class? he'll write notes for you so you wouldn't miss a thing.
#ASAHI → NEVER i mean NEVER raises his voice at you even if both of you guys are angry or fighting at each other ― he cares a lot about you and he if he needs to correct you on something, he knows that if he wants to drive a point, he doeesn't need to raise his voice to do so. what a softie.
#KIYOKO → she's a bit shy with showing her affections, but she tries her utmost best to convey her love to you ― one of them being if you ever needed her support with ANYTHING honestly, she'll always make it known to you that you have her full support and that she's always right beside you through everything.
#TANAKA → YOUR PERSONAL HYPEMAN !!! very vocal with his praises ― if he thinks you look absolutely smoking HOT right now with your outfit, he'll gladly always make sure you are aware of that and what you are doing to him. if you play a sport? you BET that he's your personal cheerleader, fuck gender roles <33
#NOYA → he's your pillar in life. not saying that you're dependent to him to the extent that it's unhealthy and you can't live without him ― but in a way that he'll never leave you in your most hardest times, the rock you could always hold onto in the midst of the raging ocean's waves crashing down at you at an incredible force. he's a dependable person in and out of the court and it shows through little ways he supports you and lifts you up in real life because he's your personal guardian diety.
#ENNOSHITA → fights with him never lasts long, that's just how it is ― even with the bigger fights it'll never lasts long, and he would NEVER even think of doing the silent treatment with you, he just can't. whenever he comes into terms with the problem and why it haopened, he'll come back to you and talk it out with you then cuddle you because he feels GOD AWFUL whenever fights occure.
#KINOSHITA → words of affirmations is his best friend. and not just with you but with the both of you, he likes cheering you on and give you support and will always be by your side. never pokes fun at your insecurities and rather eases them and does his best to make you feel anything but insecure.
#HINATA → buys you small gifts and souvenirs especially when he's out of the country for volleyball matches etc. and his reasons would be that when he looks at them, they reminded him of you ― so that's why you have tons of cute gifts and souvenirs when he comes back that you prolly don't know where to put but you don't care because he took the time to buy them for you which you find so adorable.
#KAGEYAMA → bought you milk everyday ever since y'all became an item, sometimes dropping them in your bag ( especially when you had a bad day, which makes it a bit better. ) or in your locker and bonus if he adds a scribbled note with just a cute yet somehow KINDA stiff happy face ― which oddly enough, reminds you of him; stiff yet cute, and no other context in it ― just a happy face but it conveys everything that he wanted to say to you. and probably adds a "have a good day." when he knows practice will be a bit more later than usual and may or may not be able to walk home from school with you.
#YAMAGUCHI → remembers the little things; your favourite food, your favourite sweaters and hoodies you like to borrow from him so he could purposesly bring them for you to use ― and not just your favourite things but every little fact about you that he sometimes just randomly brings up, shoking you because wow, he still remembers that? so whenever you guys go on a date to a cafe y'all have already been to, he doesn't need to know what you wanna order since, he already memorized your order from before. it's just the intimacy of knowing you know?
#TSUKISHIMA → has a playlist of the songs you love that he sometimes like to listen to, especially when he misses you and you're away from him. makes you a playlist of song recommendations and songs that he likes that he thinks you might also vibe with. and one time he casually hums one of your favourite songs, making you look at him eyes kinda wide just for him to look at you in a deadpan express and ask you if anything was wrong. bonus !! he bought earphones so that both of you could listen at one of your guys' playlist together <33
#YACHI → i feel like she loves photography as it is a branch of art, so she loves taking stolen cute picures of you and making it her wallpaper ― she also loves sketching you, like her sketchbook and artbook is full of sketches of your face ― you're her muse. and whenever she's having an art block? she'll look at her best sketches of you and recreates them ― lines all full of both her passion for art and you.
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[ ♡ ] a lot of people requested for some hq boys' love language so why not make one for the whole team? wrote this all yesterday and in no way or form was edited, because that's just me, i never edit my works smh. it's been a few days since i didn't post a content, so have some fluff with the karasuno team !! <3 this is also a very late thank you for 1.1k AHAHAHA i love you guys.
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marmaligne · 3 years
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Hello! Can I have some hc with a protective mama Reader with Naib, Helena and Bane. They are my precious baby. I haven't play this game since season 13 and I miss them so much ahhhhhhh 😭😭. Thank you, have a nice day ❤❤🌷 (sr, my English is not good)
✨ Your English is wonderful dear ✨
[Naib Subedar, Helena Adams, Gamekeeper] S/O Is Overprotective
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✨ As a reminder, my works will always include gn!reader unless specified by the requester! ✨
———————————————————————
[Naib Subedar]:
* You had been at the manor for quite awhile now, and were a rather nice person, getting along with most other survivors, and even some of the hunters to boot.
* It was quite surprising actually. You’d walked in the first day with a tough-guy attitude and gruff personality, and you didn’t seem like a very approachable person.
* Then, some survivors such as Victor and Emily started worming their way into your heart. Liam [Lucky Guy] and Norton were some of the first people to offer you a seat at the dinner table, and from then on you were one of them.
* You had scars, though most could tell they were more physical than emotional, from some sidejobs you used to complete for a gang on White Sand Street—robbing people and competing in fights with rivals.
* You quickly learned that most people fought back. Rival gangs always intruded on your own territory, and you were always left on guard, defending the last remnants of your livelihood and your sanity.
* Maybe that’s why you’re so protective over your things. Never letting anyone enter your room, never letting anyone see the pain you hide. Opening up to people enough to make allies, but never enough to show secrets.
* Now Naib…. Naib helped you out a lot. It seemed he understood you, far more than others. For some reason, he was always there for you, watching your back when needed, acting like a shield at times—sometimes literally.
* You never really understood at first, how he seemed to know you so well. From what you knew, he came from halfway cross the world, from Nepal, in India—a child, a soldier, a weapon.
* You guessed his life was rather similar, and assumed he’d come to the manor for quite the same reasons but, it was hard to see through the scowl on his face.
* At some point, you began to recognize the signs, the irritation, the avoidance. You recognized the silence, and the stiffness that came from Naib when he ate and smiled and nodded at their questions. You saw the signs of a brother, somebody just as lost and broken as you were.
* Children in the bodies of adults, forced to live life too fast and too furiously. Damaged and done in, waiting for someone to save them, but too scared to cry for help.
* Unwilling to hurt others again, unwilling to change.
* You grew wary—observant—of him eventually. You joined in more matches with him as teammate, and sat next to him often at dinner. When you noticed he didn’t eat as much, you grunted in concern. When he fell asleep in odd places, you’d bring him a blanket.
* It got to the point where he found out about your help, and tried to dissuade you from wasting your time.
* You never really listened. In fact, your worries only increased. Others might not have recognized, but you saw the signs of fatigue and death written in the lines of his face. You’d seen it every day back on White Sand.
* He gave up on making you give up, tired of attempted persuasions. Eventually began returning the favours—Naib is the type to have a ‘you watch my back, I’ll watch yours’ mentality.
* Everything you’d do for him is returned in kind. It annoyed the rest of the manor to no end because the giving and receiving eventually reached limits unheard of.
* You’d throw yourself on a rocket chair to save him, and next game you’d have your own personal bodyguard tracking your every move.
* He’d never admit it, but he appreciates all you do for him, and hopes you appreciate his efforts in making your life a little better too.
* Though your protective tendencies know no bounds, he hopes you’re a little more cautious with throwing your life on the line for him like that. This is a death game after all, be more careful…. please?
* At some point, the whole manor hopes you two could just get together and kiss it out in some storage closet. If you’re dating, what’s the need to be so consistent in you’re protective tendencies? Then you’ll always be together, which means nothing can ever happen to either of you!
* To be fair, that’s what most of them thought until an incident after the confession, where Naib wouldn’t let you out of the medical ward for a week due to a few hairline fractures.
* Please Naib! Emily begs you to let her use the examination table! You’ve hogged it for 5 days and she needs it to identify the infection spreading on Aesop’s leg! Vera broke her nose! William sprinted into the gymnasium wall and shattered his kneecaps! Please leave!
* You once set fire to a couch because Naib stubbed his toe on it.
* Please stop it you two, Freddy can’t budget for anymore furniture, and we’re fresh out of chairs.
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[Helena Adams]:
* Oops! Oh no her glasses! Aww shucks, Norton knocked them right off her face and onto the hardwood floor. She can’t find them because she can’t see, whatever shall she do?
* [S/o]! Please, she needs your help!
* You come in running with a pair of pliers, five bottles of anti-grease spray, and a box of extra lenses and a screwdriver.
* Oh how wonderful! You fixed her glasses—again—and saved her from the task of shuffling herself on all fours looking for them! Her hero!
* Helena…. praises you to say the least. You’re her best friend, her confidante, her…. big and strong, sometimes dumb partner!
* She adores everything you do for her, and tries equally as hard to do things for you that make your life necessarily easier, though it’s harder with her condition.
* She met you around the same time as everybody else, during your first days in the manor. Really, she didn’t actually know you were there until she bumped into a voice she didn’t recognize and became surprised.
* You quickly learned about her blindness, and made it your goal to form a friendship with her based on your willingness to help her around and get closer to her—she was very kind after all.
* Your protectiveness stemmed from the inherent feeling of a need to help guide and provide for Helena, much like a spouse would… jk, unless 👀….
* At some points, you were berated by her for your incessant protections, most of which made her feel highly dependent, which she didn’t like.
* She liked the feeling of being independent of others and being recognized as an autonomous, capable being. Especially considering what she came there for, it was a blow to her pride to be led around and pushed aside all the time.
* When she revealed these feelings to you, you had surprisingly promised her to cease in most areas of monitoring—however you still consistently check up on her—and settled into the realm of a relationship with her.
* Helena meets somebody who respects her opinions + acknowledges her intellect + isn’t a dingy asshole? Sign her up and slap on a ring, she’s marrying this person (eventually).
* She knows that your tendencies stem from a place of need and want, and tolerates most of them. Deep down, she likes being taken care of by someone who knows she can take care of herself. She really does love you.
* When you’re actually in a relationship with each other, you make sure to watch each others backs, more so you than Helena (because she can’t ‘watch’ per say), but you get the point.
* There was once an incident in a duo’s match where Helena became stranded on the Lakeside Fishing map. The terrain is rough, with piles of fish everywhere, randomly placed boxes and walls, and the barrels are bad enough when they don’t form a blockade.
* Her navigational skills, as good as they are with all her previous experience and staff, couldn’t for the life of her figure out how to move her way around a mess of box paths, pallets, and fishing stands.
* Most other survivors were occupied or dead—it had been a hard match against Jack the Ripper and Guard 26—and she was barred from reaching any form of help.
* So she screamed your name as loud as she possibly could across the map, and ended up attracting the attention of BonBon instead. During those moments where she could hear his clanks and heavy metalloid footsteps stalking towards her, the tick of a time bomb in hand, she heard a screech in the distance.
* A fierce battlecry—you came raging from around a windmill, propelled by William’s football and packing heat with a flare gun. BonBon, now stunned twice, stood there in astonishment, before chasing after you, who had grabbed Helena in your arms, running off at full speed.
* Your stamina bar, indicated by a small tab on your character, was running low, and you wouldn’t be able to run at full speed for another minute or two, having used your ability to buy time. Stopping near a closet, you lean down to place Helena on her feet, telling her to hide.
* Her blood trail was invisible from not actually having run anywhere, and she did as you said, making you promise to come get her when it was safe.
* You gave her a smirk and a small nod, assuring her that you would, before leaning in for a peck on the forehead as you shoved her into the locker.
* If only you could see her flushed in embarrassment.
* Leaving her to fangirl in the locker, you form a decoy in your arms—result of your max rescuer ability—and ran off once more, taking off around a corner just as Guard 26 reached your previous location, chasing after you and ‘Helena’ in hopes of landing two more kills.
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[Bane the Gamekeeper]:
* How does it feel to love a deerman? Good? Okay!
* Bane as you know is a little…. rough around the edges so-to-speak, and he has a lot of edges.
* Once you get around all the hooks, chains, and bear traps, and beneath that creepy-looking deer head of his, he really is such a sweet guy!
* At least you think so. In reality, he still acts like a complete dick to everybody else, and only shows his soft side around you, but that’s because he knows he can trust you with his lands, animals, and secrets! All those others out there only wish to hurt what he—you—have, and he’ll make them pay for it.
* Honestly, in order for him to have fallen for you so hard to have let his guard down around you, you probably would have had to be at your most vulnerable point in life, or a hunter yourself. Like a scared prey animal, uncertain of its future, waiting for something to happen, and somebody to help, or a huge predator, ready to strike out at any moment.
* Once you worm your way into his cold dead heart, there’s no way out for you. He’ll keep you close, as he doesn’t want you to be poached away like his precious animal friends from the past. He knows how cruel humanity can be sometimes.
* When you come to find out about his less-than-kind history, it’s all you can do to pity him. Your sympathy knows no bounds, and you become clingier, though he quite honestly likes it.
* You don’t want what happened to him to occur again, and with all these other traitors and murderers in the manor, you’re afraid of what the others could do.
* You keep to his side a lot more, take walks with him in the garden, and enjoy tranquil picnics from time-to-time on Lakeside. Anything to keep him close to you and away from all the pain.
* Bane can obviously see what your doing, and noticing that your protectiveness doesn’t yet border on the insane, he allows you to continue in your devotions.
* It’s honestly sweet sometimes how you both adore each other so much, even if you know that one day one or both of you will have to leave. Whether it be through death, disappearance, or another means such as escape is a question of time, and one that neither of you know the answer to.
* If you’re also a hunter, than both of you know that while you two are happier now than either of you were in life, that your individual deaths and worths will eventually determine your fates—whether that be a happy afterlife, or an eternity of endless wandering.
* It’s well known that you’ll both disappear the day the game ends, your souls being put to rest as they should’ve been however long ago. Until then however, you’ll continue to hold on to and vehemently protect the relationship the two of you have, and you’ll fight until your soul vanishes from the earth for what you have to remain that way.
* Now, if you’re a survivor, this is where the relationship can be a bit difficult.
* Avidly defending the actions of your boyfriend during and after a match to the rest of your survivor buddies isn’t a very good look for you, or your reputation. It’s been many times where you’ve almost been chased out of the dining room because somebody was pissed at you for costing them the match, or being the only one spared instead of convincing Bane for a win or tie.
* As they say, if you can’t beat em’, join em’. Some survivors, such as William, Kreacher, and Freddy, have more than once suggested that if you loved a hunter so much, you should become one to be with him. Dating the undead almost crosses the line of what is humane. Aesop thinks you’re kind of cool.
* The hunters over on Bane’s side hate you more. Are convinced that you’re the sole reason that Bane goes friendly sometimes (even in matches without you in them), and that your relationship takes away from his brutal and violent persona and nature.
* Violetta and Michiko are the most tolerant of you, mainly because you gifted them silk and a hand fan for Christmas once when they wished for them in their letters.
* All-in-all, basically everyone blames you, but you keep going forward because who cares about all the nasty bi*ches in the world, am I right?
* Once, to prove the integrity and devotion of your relationship, you set Freddy’s room on fire and locked Kreacher in a closet. You looked Bane directly in the eyes and kneeling before him stated, “I have committed arson for you m’lord.”
* You couldn’t see it because of his deerish head and all, but Bane really went “Heart eyes motherf*cker.” on you in that moment.
* You love animals and set things on fire to prove your loyalty to him? Ticket for one please, he’s riding the simp train all the way to the station.
* Just, please don’t accidentally burn down the manor, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible before he disappears.
* Also don’t joke around with your life, it’s too precious, even when you tackle your own teammate or risk getting hit by Ganji’s cricket ball to save him from being stunned.
* He doesn’t want you dying before he does—has already he supposes—or disappearing without a trace.
* You promise you’ll stick with him until the day you finally leave this wretched place.
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✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨
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