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spicywhenspeaking · 5 months

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If I'm There: Chapter Fifteen

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie meet in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

warnings: underage drinking, unprotected sex (ope), mentions of depression and alcoholic parents.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @laurpartyprogram

When I read New Moon for the first time I thought Bella was being dramatic, sitting in front of her bedroom window just staring as time passed and seasons changed. How could your boyfriend breaking up with you leave someone such a shell?

I understand now.

Time isn’t just passing by me, it’s passing through me. School and work blur together, I’m still doing relatively well in my classes but I’m not giving it much effort and my teachers have noticed. Maggie tried to pull me out of my funk and invited me out to hang out, but I constantly came up with excuses to get out of it.

Mom comes home in November and I don’t register her arrival. Maybe if she had been a normal mom I could have been the kind of teenager that could keep up with her cool rockstar boyfriend. I wouldn’t have had to be nerdy Natalie, too focused on school to step away and have fun.

Thanksgiving is as eventful as you could imagine. Mom and Dad are trying to make us seem like a big happy family again like nothing happened. Of course a week later we find Mom’s stash of vodka in her sock drawer and she sobs while dad packs her bag to haul her back off to rehab.

I don’t react. I don’t care.

Nick texts me every once in a while but I usually ignore him. I know that’s mean but I don’t want to hear about the tour or Noah. Who doesn’t reach out at all. Jerk. I take all the pictures I had of us printed out together and shove them in an old shoebox. I throw in the shirts he gave me too, along with the cd and that stupid wolf drawing I kept and bury it in the back of my closet.

“Natty, come on. Let's just get out of the house, we can go to a movie?” Kyle has been trying to make me feel better, he feels responsible for what happened with Noah. I don’t think so, he didn’t force Noah to break up with me. No. Noah did that all on his own. We end up going to see some stupid action movie, I don’t pay attention to it.

Suddenly it’s December and finals are done. The semester is over, only a few more months and highschool is done.

It’s Christmas and Kyle got me a new set of ink markers and a sketchbook. “You haven’t been drawing much, thought a new sketchbook would inspire you.” Kyle says.

I try to smile, turning through the crisp clean pages. “Thank you Ky. I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything…” my voice disappears. “I just lost track of time.”

He nods in understanding, “no worries sis, you can draw me something” he nudges me and laughs.

“Yeah, of course.” I curl up onto the couch with the empty page in front of me. I end up drawing a skeleton hand sticking up its middle finger. I rip it out of the book and hand it to him. He laughs “thanks Natty, very festive” he jokes and a small laugh escapes me.

A week later it’s New Year’s Eve and Kyle is trying to get me to go to a party with him.

“Come on Natty, you’ll have fun!” He tries to convince me but it’s not working. “Really, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to bed early. You should go have fun Ky.”

He reluctantly leaves me and I’m digging in my fridge smelling leftovers when I hear the doorbell.

Walking over I open the door and Maggie barges past me dressed in a beautiful silver body-con dress, her curly hair is bouncy and her make up is sparkly and bright. Perfect for New Year’s Eve. “Um..hello to you too Mags, what are you doing here?” She gives me a once over and huffs an annoyed breath. “Well after you go take the shower you desperately need. We’re getting you dressed up and going to the party Hunter is hosting a few streets away.” Hunter is the guy that works at the coffee shop that’s a year older than us. We work together some weeknights and he’s nice enough.

“Uhhh I don’t know Maggie, I’m not really in the party mood.” I tell her as I pick aimlessly at my oversized hoodie.

“I don’t care. You’ve been sad about that idiot long enough. It’s time to start living again and show everyone what a mistake it was letting you go. The first of the year is the perfect time to start!” She encourages me and ushers me up the stairs towards my room.

Thirty minutes later I’m shaved, moisturized and sitting in front of my vanity while Maggie applies my makeup. She brought a dress for me to wear, it’s a deep cut golden glittering dress that hits me in the middle of my thighs. She brought a matching pair of gold heels and I put on my small gold hoops. She’s finishing up with a light mist of setting spray and moving on to my hair. Maggie thinks I will look good with loose curls with one side pinned back. I decide to let her take full control and when she’s done I look like a different person. Well, not exactly. I look like me, just not like I’m used to. My boobs are pushed up because of the bra Maggie brought for me so they look incredible and my skin is glowing because of the luminous powder Maggie dusted me with. I feel good. For the first time since Noah dumped me, I actually feel good.

I turn to hug Maggie, “thank you.” Her arms wrap around me returning my hug. “You’re welcome Nat, now let’s go party!” Giggling, we run down the stairs together.

Hunter's house is about a ten minute walk from my house. It’s a cold night but when I reached for a jacket on my way out of the door, Maggie told me not too. That “the party would heat me up,” whatever that meant. As we round the block and head down the street towards the party my skin prickles with goose bumps and I rub my hands up and down them to warm up. Maggie sees the house and points it out. It's a big white two story colonial with warm white Christmas lights lighting it up.

The front door is open but thankfully Maggie was right and it's warm inside the crowded house. “Okay, now lets go grab a drink!” Maggie calls out over the music. A DJ that I noticed in the corner of the cleared out living room is playing “We Found Love” by Calvin Harris and I have to laugh at the irony. I follow Maggie to the kitchen where there is more alcohol surrounding the kitchen island than I’ve ever seen. She mixes two cups and hands one of them to me. I hesitate to grab it at first but eventually I take it “what the hell,” I say and take a big gulp. The alcohol burns my throat going down but leaves a warming sensation in my stomach. “Woo! Lets party Natty!!”

Maggie cheers as she raises her cup in toast and takes a sip. The crowd, the loud music and the hungry eyes that have been checking me out since we got here have me slightly nervous. I want to have fun, I want to get out of my funk and have a good time. I take the drink and chug it all down. “Another one please,” I hold out the cup to Maggie and she looks at me surprised. “Alright Natty, careful now. I don’t want you to get sick.” she warns gently. “Trust me, I'll be fine, I come from a long line of alcoholics.” I mean it to come out as a joke but Maggie just looks slightly concerned. “It's just a joke Mags, I’ll be fine.” She nods and mixes me another drink and hands it over.

I take it and we wander out towards the dance floor. It’s only 10:30 so we have plenty of time until midnight. I think the DJ is doing a countdown of songs of the year because now he’s playing “I Love It” by Icona Pop. Maggie and I are dancing and I can feel myself loosening up, swaying my hips and jumping to the beat. I feel more alive than I have in weeks. I am so thankful to have a friend like Maggie.

The next hour is a mix of dancing and drinking, I am playing a round of flip cup in the backyard. My team wins and two other senior boys that I think are on the football team I was playing with lift me up onto their shoulders in celebration. I’m laughing and definitely drunk at this point and when I look up towards the back porch and feel like my eyes deceive me and I have to do a double take.

It’s Nick and Noah. He’s here. Why is he here? He’s looking at me with wide eyes and then looking down at the very large football players that are currently holding me up and his eyes squint into a glare. I tap the boys shoulders and they place me gently back on the floor. “Thanks for the lift boys.” I joke and we share a laugh.

My eyes shift back towards the porch and Nick and Noah are gone…was I just seeing things? I am pretty drunk so It’s likely.

I walk over to Maggie and she’s looking down at her phone texting, when she looks up and see’s me she quickly puts her phone behind her back.

I eye her suspiciously. “What are you up too?” I ask.

She smiles wide and tries to tilt her head to act innocent. “Well…maybe Nick texted that him and Noah were in town…and maybe I told him where the party was.”

My eyes bugg out and I lightly push her shoulder. “Maggie! Why would you do that!! Since when are you two texting?!” She grabs my drink and hands it to me and with the added surprise I throw it back instantly. “He texts me occasionally to see how everything is going? How you’re doing, since you don’t respond to his texts….” I roll my eyes. “I’m not going to talk to them. I don't care that he’s here. I’m having fun and I’m going to dance some more.” I turn and head back towards the house. “Are you coming?” I ask back towards Maggie and she follows after.

Grabbing Maggies hand I get back onto the dancefloor with new found enthusiasm. My hips are swaying and my hands are above my head, my hair is swinging side to side. Maggie is dancing in front of me and I suddenly feel hands on my waist. Looking back I see it’s Hunter. “Nice party Hunter.” I tell him. He smiles, “Nice dress Natalie, you looks hot.” I blush at his compliment. “Thanks.” I don’t know what comes over me but I know my dancing with Hunter is becoming riskier. My back is pressed completely against his front and his strong hands are gripping my waist.

Suddenly I’m being ripped off the dance floor and away from Hunter and Maggie. “What the fuck!” I squeal, turning to see how grabbed me. I see none other than Noah.

“Put me down Noah! Right now!” I yell at him over the music. I wiggle and kick to get out of his grip but he’s too strong and I’m too drunk to figure out how to escape with any of my karate skills. What’s the point of having a black belt if I can’t remember how to break out of a hold after a few drinks. More than a few drinks I guess as the world spins and I’m set back down on my feet in the cold night air.

“Natalie, what the Hell are you doing?!” Noah says in an explosive tone.

It takes me a moment to react. To fight past the feelings of relief in seeing him. To dig deep into myself for the anger. “Excuse me?” I say and my voice is dripping with venom. “Who the FUCK do you think you are?! Wisking in to pull me away while I’m finally having fun!” I yell not caring who hears and his eyes dark around. I fight the compulsion to get closer to him, the need to reach out and touch him to see if he’s real.

He just ignores my yelling and asks again “what’s going on Natty, you’re drunk dancing on some guy? That's not like you.”

I laugh out loud “ha! What happened?! Seriously? Well..let me see.” I say in a mocking tone and tap my finger against my chin. “My boyfriend dumped me and then left without a word, then, my Mom immediately relapsed when she got home from rehab and I fell into a pit of depression that my best friend dug me out of. She brought me out to party tonight and that’s exactly what I was doing. I’m at a party. I’m partying.” My voice despite slurring slightly is resolved. He eyes me up and down, his hand reaching out, hesitating and then dropping back to his side. “You’re barely clothed. You never dress like this” he snides, “and you're drunk. I thought you didn’t drink?” He asks.

“Yeah well, I thought you said you’d love me forever but I guess things change. And you’re drunk too! How are you judging me for that right now and as for the outfit? Everyone else thinks I look hot. I know Hunter did. Should we go ask?” I know I’m pushing him but I don’t care. I move to get past him and he holds out his arm, stopping me. “No need. I know exactly what he was thinking. I saw his face, how he was looking at you like a piece of meat.” Noah’s voice sounds tormented, like watching me dance with Hunter was painful. “Well Noah! He can look at me however he wants! And I can dance with whoever I want and I can kiss whoever I want! And if I want to, I can FUCK whoever I want! You dumped me, remember? You don’t get to come back and act like my big protector anymore.” Forgetting my previous restraint I end up growling out all of this about an inch from Noah’s face. He backs me back up against the wall and keeps the distance the same. We’re nose to nose and I hear a rumble in his chest. “You deserve better than him, better than me.” My eyes roll, “oh fuck off with that. I am perfectly capable of making that kind of decision myself”

We can hear the countdown begin inside the house.

TEN…

NINE…

“I’m just trying to help you Nat, that guys bad news”

EIGHT…

SEVEN…

“Hilarious, that’s exactly what people told me about you.”

FIVE….

FOUR…

“Maybe you should have listened.” His eyes fall to my lips and I can feel deep down that I’m done for.

THREE…

TWO….

“Is that what you wished had happened. That you had stayed away from me?”

ONE... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I shake my head and without thinking, maybe due to the drinks or because Noah is finally back in front of me and I still desperately miss him despite the heartbreak. I pull him even closer and kiss him.

At first he’s stiff, hands and body stilled until my fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he comes alive. Grabbing me back and kissing me fiercely, like a man starved and I’m the only water he’s seen in weeks, months, years.

Fireworks explode in the background and we burst apart when the rest of the party runs outside to watch the sky glitter with a chorus of colors.

Staring at each other, mouths red and swollen from our harsh kiss, he looks me up and down again and says “fuck it, do you want to get out of here?”

I nod silently and Noah takes my hand and leads me away from the party and down the street heading towards my house. Praying to the universe that Kyle isn’t home and pushing away the thoughts that are asking “is this a good idea?” “What’s going on here?” I don’t care. We kissed and everything fell away.

I am so weak.

Apparently so is he, his whole “you deserve better” thing flew out the window the second our lips touched again.

The cold air sobers us up a bit by the time we’re sitting on the floor against my bed awkwardly.

“Um, I found a stash of my moms vodka my dad didn’t catch if you want another drink?” I ask and fidget with the bottom of my dress. His eyes track my fingers on my thighs and he mumbles out a quiet “sure.”

I run out of the room back downstairs to grab two cups, filling them with ice and cranberry juice. Next, I go into the pantry and look behind the five pound sack of flour and still sitting there, a tad dusty, is half a handle of whipped cream vodka. I pour some in each drink and take the cups along with the bottle back upstairs.

Noah has moved to now sit on my bed, his head against my headboard. “I missed your room, it smells like you” he says softly as I hand him the drink.

“Yeah, well hopefully by that you don’t mean you miss my BO. I’d have to call you out for that one” I try to joke and diffuse the awkwardness. He chuckles and takes a sip of the drink. “This is good. Um, butno I don’t mean you’re BO. It just smells good. Like you”

I smile and take a sip of my own drink. “Thanks then, I guess”

We drink in comfortable silence finishing our drinks and refill the cups with another shot of the vodka. There’s not as much cranberry hiding the flavor but the sweetness of the whipped cream in the vodka is pretty easy to get down. The closeness, the renewed alcohol in our systems brings me back into my warm drunken state.

“How have you been Natty?” His eyes are downcast, not risking seeing the pain that flashes in my eyes at his question.

“I’ve been better, but Maggie has been helping me. Nick texts me sometimes, I should be better about responding. How have you been?” I ask, but I keep my eyes fixed on him.

He lifts his head and meets my gaze, “pretty shit without you to be honest, I shouldn’t have ended it like that.” His words are soft and lure me in.

“But you still would have done it?” I ask and take another sip, easing the nerves creeping up.

“I should say yes. I think you deserve so much more Nat. You deserve everything, attention and support and no drama.” His fingers trail from resting beside him to tracing the hem of my dress and I chug down the rest of the cup and set it aside. “What is life without drama?” I ask and fight against the urge to lean forward towards his warmth.

“A life free of sadness and anger?” his voice is melancholy and I feel my heart cracking again.

“Those come with life regardless. They are unavoidable for everyone.” Like an invisible force field shatters, I place my hand delicately on his shoulder, “you brought much more into my life than sadness and anger” I whisper to him, afraid of putting so much of myself out into the open but, the effects of drinking seem to have broken down my boundaries.

“You brought everything into my life” Noah replies and moves swiftly capturing my lips in a firm kiss and I instantly melt into him. Scrambling I slot my things on either side of him and tangle my hands into his hair. His hands grip my waist and move to squeeze my ass and bring me even closer. “Noah, Noah, I need you” I whimper in between kisses and he slides his hands under my dress and squeezes my flesh.

“Fuck, Natalie. I missed you so much” he says into my neck as he kisses up and down. He reaches around and unzips the back of my dress and lets it fall down my arms and around my waist.

He unhooks my bra and I rip his shirt over his head. Instantly he’s on me again, lips kissing and sucking at my skin causing me to squirm and grind down onto him feeling the hard length of him.

He flips us over and pulls the rest of my dress down and staring down at me with burning desire. My head is spinning but I refocus on the feeling of Noah pulling down my panties and trailing a path of open wet kisses towards my soaking wet core. At the first touch I buck off of the bed and a sinful whine escapes my lips.”I missed the way you taste” he moans out. And even with his mind clouded with alcohol he is a master with his tongue and I squirm in pleasure. When he adds a finger my body writhes in pleasure as I fall apart in a cry of ecstasy.

“More Noah, please. I need more” I beg and he stumbles to unbutton his pants, not even all the way off his legs before he’s sinking into my warmth. “Oh Natalie, you feel perfect. You’re everything, so good. Fuck” he moans as he begins to move his hips back and forth causing sparks of white to appear behind my eyes and the glorious feeling of being filled completely.

We’re a tad uncoordinated and unbalanced due to the alcohol but we eventually set a pace that’s causing us both to catch our breaths and moan in tandem. Noah’s hand reaches down to press against my clit and I set off into a second orgasm. My inner walls clenching around him and causing him to lose himself and spills deep into me.

“Fuck.” He gasps out and rests his head against my stomach as we both take a moment to catch our breath.

“Yeah, you can say that again” I respond half asleep.

Noah rolls off and onto the stop next to me, crashing onto the pillow and we pass out wrapped tightly together.

Hours later with the morning sun leaking into my room I groan, wiping the sleep from my eyes and while moving to sit up feeling the arms around me I am reminded of the actions of last night.

I reach over to my phone that is almost dead on my nightstand and I see I have missed texts.

Maggie: ims o drink!!! I’ll call u tmorw LUCV YOU 1:36am

Kyle: staying to make sure my boys get home safe, I’ll be back home tomorrow afternoon. Happy new year nat! 12:45am

“Shit” Noah grumbles as he slowly rises and sees the state of the two of us. “Um..how are you feeling?” He asks cautiously. I shrug “I feel tired, nauseous but also hungry? And my head is killing me” I say to him, “you?” He has his face in his hands before looking up at me. “I’m okay. I'm just- I’m sorry about last night. That was stupid” his voice is pinched and he’s throwing his legs over the side of the bed pulling his pants quickly back on and running a stressed hand through his hair. “What? What are you talking about Noah?” I demand, pulling the blanket higher to cover myself. He pulls his shirt on next and let’s put a harsh sigh. “Sleeping together, that was a mistake.”

That stings. “A mistake?” I whisper, “so you don’t even want to try and make this work?” I ask with agony clear in my voice. “You’re just going to leave? Again?”

“I shouldn’t have come over here last night, it’s not fair to you Nat. I can’t be what you deserve right now and I can’t ask you to wait around for me. I'll just complicate your life” He finally looks at me and there’s nothing I can do about the tears falling from my eyes.

“If that’s how you feel I’m not going to beg you to love me. Just go Noah. Leaving is apparently something you’ve mastered” I don’t care about the spiteful nature of my words. I just roll back over facing away from him as he finishes gathering his things and heads out of my room and out of my life again. I go back to sleep for a few more hours. I don’t cry until I’m showering off the makeup and sweat from the night before.

Kyle gets home and doesn’t ask when he sees my red rimmed eyes just gives me a side hug and tell me it will get easier.

Maggie texts me again later in the afternoon.

Maggie: YOU LEFT THE PARTY WITH NOAH?! Girl! SPILL NOW! 2:35pm

Natalie: Come over? We can have a girls night and I’ll tell you about it. Just understand that I don’t want to ever hear the name Noah Sebastian again. 2:37pm

muawh muawh ! kisses kisses ! I know it hurts but just trust the process....

next chapter

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lovelybarnes · 3 years

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get the girl- p. parker

pairings: peter parker x reader, mentions of ned, betty, mj, and brad warnings: unrequited love (kind of?? implied), lotsss of pining and fluff, a little long about: requested! (DF4) “you fell asleep, i couldn’t move.“ + (DF31) “maybe if you stop staring at her and actually talk to her, you might have a chance.” a/n: been wanting to write a peter parker friends to lovers for a while, so thank you so so much for requesting this. i swear i don’t usually take this long?? i got carried away and it got way longer than i expected, i hope you enjoy! thank you for requesting!

peter thinks it’s hopeless. the cliche he’s stuck in seems cruel- no matter what the movies you (and, fine, yes, him sometimes) make him watch say. nothing that happens in them ever transpires to real life; beautiful girls don’t fall in love with their nerdy best friends and guys like peter parker don’t get the girl.

it’s fun to fantasize, though. and especially fun to look at you, particularly when you’re laying on his bed, oblivious to him standing in the doorway, observing as you twist your neck to get a good look at the polaroids he hung up on his wall. a familiar smile grows on your face when your eyes scan them, flickering to the polaroid camera you got him for christmas years ago.

you move to try to get a better look at them without standing up, glancing down when you feel a sharp edge poke at your skin. he watches as your eyebrows furrow in possibly the prettiest way possible and you pull out a polaroid from under you. and oh, peter is just now realizing exactly what that photo is and why it’s on his bed instead of hanging off the empty miniature clothespin that comes from the pack you thrust at his chest when you noticed the increasing pile of pictures on his desk.

he’s moving on autopilot towards you, the foot already halfway through the door used as a stepping stone to go to your side faster. he’s with you in less than three steps, tugging on your ankle and then tackling you as sensibly as possible, laying his whole body on yours. you oof, dropping the picture, having seen it for too little to really question it, and laugh breathlessly. “pete!” you wheeze, curling your arms around his back, one of your hands absentmindedly drawing figures through his hoodie and your other one inching up to his hair, already beginning to thread through the chocolate curls. “yes?” he hums innocently, furtively grabbing the polaroid you dropped and shoving it in the pocket of his hoodie before his arms wrap around your thighs.

“i told you if you keep doing that, one day you’re gonna get hurt,” you scold, looking attentively as peter leans his head against your chest. “me?” he questions, feeling you nod under his cheek. “uh huh, you. you’ll hit your head or something. for a spider-”

“spiderman. superhero,” peter corrects, you ignore him, “you are really clumsy.” peter huffs in dissent, letting a comfortable silence blanket over the both of you for a minute before he looks up at you. “what?” you ask, a smile brimming at the edges of your words. you’re so pretty, peter wants to say, but instead, he goes with a more best-friend-friendly question, “d’you wanna watch a movie?”

you nod at him, pulling your hands away from his head to play with the strings of his hoodie, “sure, what do we want to watch today?” peter’s eyes immediately light up, and you realize you never actually needed to ask. “fine,” you agree, trying not to grin too hard at the way his face brightens. “which one?” you request, watching his freckled cheeks flush pink in excitement, “sixth one. the best one, of course.” you smirk, shrugging, “right, don’t know why i asked, i basically know the movie word for word now.” peter can’t help but give you heart eyes at the knowledge of your knowing the script of his favorite movie. god, you really were the dream girl.

“‘kay, go make some popcorn and get everything ready while i go to the bathroom,” you request, tapping peter’s shoulder as a way to tell peter to let you out from under his body weight. he does the complete opposite of what you imply, however, nuzzling further into your chest and inhaling deeply. “peter,” you laugh, poking his shoulder again, “‘m comfy,” he mumbles, eyes closed. “pete, c’mon, i gotta pee and you’re lying on my bladder,” you whine, “also, don’t you wanna watch episode six of star wars while i eat popcorn and play with your hair?” you singsong. he’s suddenly moving his body off of yours to let you go, although not before pressing a sloppy- friendly- kiss to your arm, “hurry up.”

you giggle as you stand, stretching out your limbs and walking to the bathroom while peter watches you walk away. once he hears the bathroom door shut, he digs his hands into his pockets, fingers tugging on the polaroid he had shoved inside. a smile grows on his face without his permission when he holds it at his stomach, the light reflecting off of the smile that was printed on the picture. he traces a nail over your face, bright and open in the way that makes you gleam. it’s his favorite picture ever, the only one that managed to catch you so in your element, your natural halo of glow apparent in your outline. peter had scrawled the words best girl in red marker on the white space at the bottom- something he thought he could explain away easily if he had to. the picture had its own designated space on his wall, right in the middle so the importance was clear, but it was rarely actually up there, instead always next to him for inspiration when he was doing homework and on his dresser for when he couldn't sleep.

his lips quirk one last time at the photograph before walking to the wall where all the rest of them reside. he hangs it up, glancing at it once more until he turns to walk out of his room.

the movie is ready to play when you walk into the living room, and peter is in the kitchen making your popcorn. “it smells good,” you say in a greeting, sniffing the air and exhaling in satisfaction. peter laughs, “you do that every time we have a movie night.” you tilt your head at him, “do what?” he motions to you, “that. the whole smelling thing and letting me know how good it smells, it’s cute.”

your face heats when it slips out of his lips, pausing to absorb the words he doesn’t seem to have noticed he said. his back is to you, dumping the popcorn into a bowl for you. you can’t see it, but he’s freaking out, trying to think of an excuse if you decide it was too weird. you don’t do anything to imply that, though, just blink until the words dissolve in the air. “thanks,” you finally reply, as nonchalant as you can make it while you grab his m&ms. he hums in response, turning around to head to the couch, “star wars time,” he winks, making you grin.

you follow him as he heads to the couch, settling down next to him once he puts on the movie. the star wars theme starts, the tune fringed by peter’s humming. cute, you think, snuggling deeper into the crook of his arm and shoving popcorn into your mouth. “hmm, good,” you compliment, watching the scenes you’d seen so many times pass on the screens. you mouth along when you recognize the lines until your eyes feel heavy and they shut completely.

quiet thwips wake you up hours later, when the black of the night has bled the sky blue and the stars have littered over the clouds, the moon replacing the sun. you see that the movie is long over when you blink yourself awake, beginning to cuddle deeper into your pillow when you realize it’s too warm and hard to be a pillow. you are met with the vision of your best friend, lip tugged in between his teeth as he concentrates on something behind you. he doesn’t seem to notice that you’re awake, trying to remain as still as possibly while the thwip noises continue. he mutters a curse, scrunching his nose adorably before flicking his eyes to you. they widen when he notices you’re awake, dropping his hand. “what’re you doing?” you yawn, sitting up and away from the warmth of peter’s embrace. “uh- i just- the movie ended and you didn’t wake up, so i tried to get the remote, then i got hungry…” he scratches the back of his head awkwardly, scanning the room and you turn to observe, stunned to see the mess of webs and dropped items you weren’t sure how you didn’t hear. “oh my god, what the- did you try to get everything with your webs?” you ask in bewilderment, eyeing a bag of gummy worms open and on the floor, you snap your neck towards him to observe his burning cheeks. “um. yes,” he confesses, blushing harder. “why didn’t you just get up?” you question, looking back at the ruined living room, exhaling in surprise as you notice the remote on the ground.

“you... you fell asleep on me. i couldn’t move.”

you pause, tilting your head slightly to look at peter, “pete, god, that’s so sweet. but you really don’t need to…” you motion to the dropped items, “do all that,” you laugh. peter shrugs, and you notice the tips of his ears are red, too. “i didn’t want to wake you up. i know how much of a light sleeper you are.”

you feel like you’re melting, every single muscle in your body drooping in the loveliness that was peter parker. you weren’t sure how the boy was real. you suddenly drop yourself on him again, wrapping your arms around his burning neck, “thank you, peter,” you say into his skin. like a reflex, his own arms go around your waist, holding you securely so you won’t fall, “‘f course.”

a moment of quiet follows until peter’s stomach rumbles suddenly, making you laugh, “i think i’ve starved you long enough. you pick today. also, when did you get so ripped? your arms are so big--” peter cuts you off with a groan, dropping his head on your shoulder, “you had to ruin the moment--”

peter doesn’t know what it is with you (actually, he does) that makes you so distracting. you’re just waiting in line for lunch, standing next to mj and laughing occasionally when she says something. all you’re doing is standing, and maybe it’s peter’s boy-hormones combined with his spider-hormones that magnify every single perfect feature of yours, but he can’t take his eyes off of you. you’re so pretty. the curve of the smiles that pulls into your cheeks, the twinkle that remains permanent in the color of your eyes, the way you look in that skirt--

“maybe if you stop staring at her and actually talk to her, you might have a chance,” a voice points out from next to him. peter scoffs, ripping his sight away from you to turn to ned. “i talk to her all the time. she’s my best friend.” ned shakes his head and sighs, “you talk to her about star wars, you talk to me about star wars, how is that supposed to help you have a chance--”

“i have a chance,” peter mumbles, trying to believe it himself, “she knows that she and you stand at different levels of best friends--” ned looks offended, “different levels? what is that supposed to mean--” peter stares exasperatedly at his best friend, “it means i want to date her and i don’t want to date you--”

“that’s a little rude--”

“hey you guys,” you greet, sitting down on the seat in front of peter’s and patting the seat next to you for mj. she stares at you silently, and you frown, patting the seat harder, “sit.” you instruct. she sighs and does what she’s told. “what were you guys talking about?” you ask, picking up your small plate of cherry pie to replace the bowl of orange slices that you took from peter’s plate. “thank you,” peter mumbles, digging his fork into the pie the moment you set it down. you hum, stealing a cherry tomato from his salad.

“oh, you know. the usual, your friendship with peter,” the latter shoots him a look and you raise an eyebrow, “that’s the usual? a little strange, don’t you think?” ned shrugs, “did you know that you and i stand at ‘different levels’ as peter’s best friends?” peter nearly chokes on his pie, glaring at ned. you cock your head at peter, thinking as you steal another tomato, “i… guess i thought so? i’ve known peter since, like, preschool, and we tell each other everything.”

“everything, huh?” ned wonders, a sound of pain falling from his lips when peter kicks him under the table. “peter.” he hisses. mj narrows her eyes at the two boys, “what is going on with you guys today? you’re acting weirder than normal.” peter’s face screws up in confusion, looking to you for help. you shrug, “she’s right.”

“i usually am,” mj mutters.

“so what is it?” you query, popping an orange slice as peter cringes at the mere thought of the taste. “peter has a crush,” ned informs helpfully, oblivious to peter’s dismay, “i- i don’t-”

you blink, feeling mj’s elbow shove into your ribs as her own way to make sure you’re okay. you ignore her, and it tells her everything she needs to know. “it’s liz, right?” you guess, trying to mask the hurt on your face with a teasing smile, “i saw you looking at her the other day. she’s pretty.” “no! it’s not- i mean, yes, liz is pretty, but i don’t like her or anything- ned doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” peter rambles. “pete, you don’t have to be embarrassed, i’m just upset you didn’t tell me,” you lie. peter’s eyebrows furrow, “you’re just upset that… i didn’t tell you?” he repeats. you nod, biting into another orange slice. “just that?” he asks meekly. you cock your head at him.

“i just- never mind. it’s not liz,” he says, poking at his pie. “so you admit you have a crush?” you start with a fake smirk, jabbing at your best friend with your fork, “just not on liz?”

“i didn’t… i didn’t say that-” peter stutters. your eyes narrow at him, lip tugged between your teeth, “i’m gonna find out who it is by the end of the day.”

peter is unfortunately sure you will. he’s not subtle as is, but you’re never deliberately looking for the signs, which makes it a lot easier to hide his embarrassingly large crush on you. but now, you'll be paying attention to his every move, and knowing you, he knows you won’t stop until you find out what you want, unless he tells you to back off. but, does he want you to back off?

he pushes his tray away, suddenly not feeling so hungry.

you stay true to your promise, hanging off his arm for the rest of the day, observing the way he acts around some of your classmates, but somehow not noticing the way he blatantly refuses to look at you- which proves humiliatingly difficult; peter never realized exactly how much he turned to look if you laughed at the joke too, or to catch one of your smiles when you hear something funny or peter whispers a joke into the shell of your ear.

by the end of the day when you’re walking to the train station together, you’re groaning at him, putting your full weight on his arm as you tug at him. “who is it? is it betty? oh my god, is it mj? is that why you kept looking at her?” you ask excitedly. peter wants to tell you the truth: he wasn’t looking at mj, he was looking at you, because as much as he tried, he couldn’t pry his attention off of you, who just so happened to sit next to mj.

“not mj. not betty,” he replies, pulling you inside the subway and scanning for free seats. you trail behind him when he finds a spot, letting you take it as he stands in front of you. “not them… it has to be liz, right?” you pry, sighing when he shakes his head. “brad- it’s brad, right?” you grin, whining when he denies it again. “can you just tell me if i got them already? i’ve practically said everyone in the school,” you complain, “they do go to school with us, right?” at peter’s nod, you drop your head against his abdomen, “and you have not said their name yet.”

“peter,” you drag out, reaching out for his hand to pull it, “just tell me! i can probably set you up with them!”

“y/n, just drop it,” he sighs, and you sigh too, mumbling a fine before noticing an older lady standing at the door. you wave her over, standing next to peter and letting her take your seat. peter feels like his heart will pop out of his chest.

the bumps of the subway push you close enough to him to feel the thundering of his heart, and your eyebrows knit together in worry, “are you okay? your heart’s beating, like, really fast-” yeah and your hand on my chest is not helping- “‘m fine.”

“is it because of the crush thing?” yes, “because i’m sorry about annoying you about it so much, if you don’t want to talk about it, i won’t bother you with it. just know that if they don’t like you back, they’re insane, because you, peter parker, are a ca-”

it was like a rubber band snapping, and peter suddenly couldn’t help it anymore, pushing his lips against yours, effectively cutting you off and catching you so off-guard, you freeze for a second before reacting, pulling his jaw closer. you almost tug him back when he pulls away, before you remember you’re still standing on a crowded, moving subway, and while kissing your best friend had been all you wanted for way too long, you were absolutely going to miss your stop if you didn’t stop.

“i- i’m sorry, i just-” peter stammered, stepping back. “no! so, please don’t apologize, seriously, it’s fine, it’s, like, better than fine.”

a beat of awkward silence passed before the tube halted to the stop right before yours. “it’s you. in case that didn’t… come clear. you’re the person i like,” peter informs quietly. “really?” you ask, cheek already pulling in a shy smile. “really,” peter assures.

this time, you don’t really care if you miss your stop, and neither does peter, now that he knows that, sometimes, peter parker does get the girl.

634 notes · View notes

river-bottom-nightmare · 3 years

Text

Dick and Wally together are sports culture.

Different tennis shoes littering the hallway, worn out and held together by duct tape. Traded shoelaces, so they both have a piece of each other wherever they go. Different patterned leg warmers as Christmas gifts. Early morning stretching, just the two of them sitting on the floor of their apartment, Dick leading and Wally following, working the soreness out of their muscles. Random equipment for sports they don’t even play in the closet. Cold and refreshing showers. Eating so much food, both relatively healthy stuff and pure junk. A Flash water bottle with a Nightwing keychain. A Nightwing water bottle with a Flash keychain. Using the doorframe as a pull-ups bar. Washing the sheets every other day, not because of all the sex (though the sex is often) but because one of them will come home, all sweaty from a workout, and just collapse on the bed for a couple minutes before taking a shower. Daring each other to show off parkour skills in civvies. Jumping into a pickup basketball game with a bunch of strangers, ending the game with a group of new friends. Buying deodorant whenever the go to the store bc you can never have too much deodorant. Trailing off sentences and just staring because holy shit those are some nice back muscles and biceps. Actually decent sleep schedules.

Jason and Roy together are peak casual academia.

Everyone knows Jason spends his free time reading literary classics. And everyone knows the grease on Roy’s fingers won’t ever wash out. Bookshelves crammed full of old paperbacks, everything from Wuthering Heights to The Optimist’s Daughter to The Importance of Being Earnest. Goggles shoved over green eyes and a freckled nose as an invention sparks to life in rough hands. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy is a guilty pleasure of both of theirs. Thousands of pens littering an apartment for scribbling down notes whenever they strike. Jason poking plot holes and other criticisms faster than a bullet, character analyzations sharper than his jawline, a lecture about the problem with many contemporary and modern novels longer than his dick. Excited rambles way too early in the morning about some new polymer Roy can work into his arrows. Jason tutoring students in both Lit and Spanish at the public library. NPR playing on the radio. Being in a bent over position for so long they sigh in relief when the other offers them a back massage after smirking when they let out a pained groan. Never throwing anything away because you never know what could be useful.

Tim and Kon together are skate culture.

Tim wraps his boards with tape because, even though he has to replace it every couple of weeks, he likes the designs. Kon sets some time aside every couple of nights to make sure his rollerblades are doing okay, unscrewing and rescrewing the wheels becoming a habit. Tim’s jeans are ripped to hell, but he still wears them over and over again, saying “I’ve got kneepads it’s fine.” Kon wears his round red sunglasses with increasing frequency; Tim says it makes him look like a dork but Kon knows he secretly likes it. Tim likes taking aesthetic photographs of Kon while skating, and since he’s a damn good photographer, the pictures turn out beautiful. Kon likes taking pictures of Tim, but he’s not as good and he uses a blurry iphone camera. Even so, they’re in-the-moment and raw and Tim loves them anyway. Kon loves practicing tricks: skating backwards on his in-lines has become a smooth, practiced motion for him, his misfits are vicious, his savannahs make spectators terrified he’s stumble and fall. He does them all, with a rakish grin, and comes to a stop with his head held high for applause. Tim, on the other hand, just skates. he’ll roam the streets and sidewalks of Gotham, mindlessly pushing his skateboard, going over pits and bumps with practiced ease. The constant, repetitive motion is a form of meditation for him, but still active enough to keep his mind alive. Every week Kon changes his nail polish color, and usually it’s Tim painting his nails for him. Tim’s wardrobe consists entirely of 6 or 7 oversized sweatshirts and sweaters, and when he’s not cycling through those same clothes over and over again, he wears Kon’s shirts. They hang loose on his frame, but that makes him love them even more. Kon rarely ever takes his fingerless gloves off. In contrast, Tim’s knuckles are constantly busted up to hell. Ton’s got a bold undercut that would look stupid and try-hard on anyone else, but somehow, it works really well for him. Tim’s hair is always just a little overdue for a haircut. The two of them have so many socks, like a huge drawer full of them. They’re patterned and textured, long and short, and they’re constantly in use. Tim collects stickers to overlay the bottom of his board with. Kon gets around the city as a pedestrian wearing roller blades more often than actual shoes. The kids frequenting the skate park are a second family.

Damian and Jon are art culture.

Charcoal and marker ink staining Damian’s hands. Callouses littering Jon’s fingertips, because he never pulls up his invulnerability when playing. Blank canvases that rarely get used in the closet. Screenshotted and printed out sheet music never in the folder they’re supposed to be in. Damian hiding spray paint cans from Bruce. Humming at all hours of the day. Homemade paper lanterns as decorations. Pencils in a leather pencil case. Pencils in a two dollar plastic case. Pencils on the sheets of the bed and in a cup near the sink and on top of the coffee table. A guitar pick collection that never gets used. Refusing to buy new sketchbooks, arguing in vain that they’re reusable. Jon bsentmindedly playing out a melody on the piano when he’s thinking. Paint splattered jeans. A painted denim jacket. Tuning a violin regularly but always forgetting to rosen until it becomes a necessity. Damian drawing all over Jon’s arms. Falling in love with the stranger ones of the old composers. Beautiful handmade cards for every required occasion. Drawings and paintings based off a piece Jon played. Sweeping and emotional music pieces based off something Damian created. Half finished sketches of Jon littering every sketchbook Damian ever gets. Days of playing the same chords over and over again before being struck by an idea for a song. “I made this for you.”

yes i am aware roy’s characterization in this is based off rhato which is a terrible characterization to begin with. no i do not care. look at how fucking long tim and kon’s is i’m not sorry

tag list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan @subtleappreciation @screennamealreadyused @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @bikoncon @dangerduckjpeg

529 notes · View notes

caitlesshea · 3 years

Text

begging for footnotes in the story of your life

Ana learns a lot about Buck while she’s dating Eddie, like how Buck’s the one who should be dating him.

Ana learns about Buck in stages.

First from Christopher, when she was his teacher, and he would mention his Buck or draw Buck in family pictures.

The second from the school nurse telling her that Christopher is being signed out to go home and she sees his name on Chris’ school forms.

The third is from Eddie, when he brings him up as a work colleague even though she suspects it’s more than that.

She just doesn’t realize how much more until the first time she sees the inside of Eddie’s house.

His house is homey, much cozier than she’d expect for a single dad who’s a first responder. She says as much and he chuckles.

“Some of this I did, but most was my Abuela.”

Ana nods and walks over to the mantle to look at the photos.

She sees a picture of a younger Christopher sitting in a high chair between Eddie and a woman who she assumes is Shannon.

“Shannon?” She asks quietly.

“Yeah. Chris, uhh, wanted to put some up.”

Ana nods and continues looking. There’s some more of Eddie and Chris, people she assumes are Eddie’s parents and his Abuela, and then there’s Buck.

Or well, she thinks it’s Buck, with how Chris has always described him. She notices one photo in particular that causes her to pause.

“Is that?”

Eddie reaches up and grabs the back of his neck, almost like he’s nervous.

“Uh, yeah. Buck built him a skateboard, we tried it out at the park.”

So, Buck built Chris a skateboard after Ana wrongly said that Chris should know his limitations.

“I’m sorry for saying what I said.”

“It’s fine, Ana.”

“It’s not.”

Eddie shrugs and Ana considers bringing it up again but she chooses not to, instead focusing on a Christmas photo that was taken at the station; Eddie, Chris, and Buck in the back smiling.

Eddie follows her eye movement and he smiles. “Buck and Athena set that up. We were on shift on Christmas and he surprised us with our families and dinner.”

“That was sweet.” Ana feels a little out of her depth here. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen this soft look on Eddie’s face before but she doesn’t want to ruin the moment.

“It was, yeah.”

They finish going through the photos, as Ana learns more about Eddie’s life.

He makes them dinner, although he sticks a pan of lasagna in the oven so she doesn’t know how much he actually cooked.

They’re about to sit on the couch, when he stops and says he’s going to grab something from his room. She follows him and notices for the first time that his room is a different sort of style than the rest of the house.

It’s all dark blues and grays with some stylish lamps and photographs on the walls.

She almost wishes she didn’t know about Buck now.

“I like your room,” She comments while he grabs a blanket from the bed. It’s a soft black velvet.

“Oh, thanks. This was mostly Buck. My room apparently looked like a boring hotel room so he’s been giving me some of his stuff.”

“That’s?”

“Nice, right?”

No. She was going to say weird. But she nods instead.

“The photo?” Ana asks as she walks closer to the print on the wall. It’s the typical California style photo, the palm tree lined street, but it’s in black and white, tasteful, where they’re usually cheesy.

“Oh, uh, Buck took that. Had it framed for my birthday last year. Said it can remind me of why I moved us here, for a fresh start.”

“Huh.” Ana can tell it’s important to him, can tell that he loves the photo and the sentiment behind it. What she can’t tell is if he loves the photo more or the person who took it.

“C’mon, let’s go watch the movie.” Eddie grabs her hand and she forgets about the room and Buck, at least for the night.

~~~

Ana meets Buck in stages.

She thought she’d meet him at school, when he came to pick up Christopher, or at the school play, where Christopher was the main character, or at the science fair, or bake sale. All events she knows Buck was there for.

But, she never does. Whether it’s by luck or design, she doesn’t know. But she wishes she had, because she meets Buck, awkwardly, while on a date with Eddie.

The one night Buck isn’t babysitting Christopher, Eddie’s Abuela watching him after Chris and Eddie’s talk, they run into Buck.

So, she meets Buck outside of an ice cream shop.

“Buck.” Eddie freezes beside her and she sees a tall man, taller than she thought with the pictures, with a cone halfway to his mouth. Buck lets out a sheepish smile and shrugs.

That’s when Ana notices the woman next to Buck, she’s pretty, her red hair is gorgeous, and Ana thinks she looks familiar.

“Taylor,” Eddie says clipped, in a voice she hasn’t heard from him since the skateboard incident.

“Eddie,” The woman, Taylor, says just as clipped.

Ana wonders what she missed.

“What are you two doing here?” Buck asks and then he holds out his non sticky hand. “Sorry, Eddie’s rude, I’m Buck. You must be Ana.”

She nods and looks between Buck and Eddie who are giving each other eyes. “Yes, hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You, too.” Buck looks at Eddie and realizes no one is going to say anything else so he looks back to Ana.

“Would you two like to join us?” Ana asks out of desperation and Eddie looks at her incredulously.

Buck looks at Taylor and she nudges him back. “We’d love to, but I have to get back to the station, I’m on nights right now. Next time? Buck and Eddie can schedule something.”

“Sure, bye Eddie. Ana.” Buck nods his head and she smiles at him. As they leave she can hear Taylor and Buck whispering to each other.

“That was awkward Buckley.”

“It’s not my fault he didn’t say anything…” Buck trails off and then they’re too far away to hear anything else.

Ana turns back to Eddie. “They seem like a cute couple.”

“Huh?”

“Buck and Taylor? You didn’t tell me he has a girlfriend.”

“He doesn’t,” Eddie says sharply. “They’re friends.”

“Oh, could’ve fooled me.”

“Why do you say that?” Eddie asks, looking at her for the first time since they ran into Buck.

“They seem close.” Ana shrugs. She doesn’t know why she has to explain anything, or why it would matter if Buck’s dating someone.

“They, uhh, dated a couple years ago, but I think they’re friends now.” Eddie finally manages.

“Ohh. Okay. Friends with benefits. I get it.”

Eddie chokes on nothing and he looks a little green.

“Edmundo, are you okay?”

“Yeah, lets get that ice cream.”

She nods and follows him into the ice cream shop, not surprised in the slightest when he orders the same flavor Buck was eating.

~~~

The second time she meets Buck is at a party in his loft. Everyone is vaccinated and Buck wanted to have everyone over before his sister, Maddie, has her baby.

Eddie introduces her to everyone; Bobby and Athena, Hen and Karen, Michael and David, Chimney and Maddie, Albert, and then Taylor.

“It’s good to see you again,” Ana says kindly as Eddie goes into the kitchen to grab them drinks. The loft is nice, modern, and looking suspiciously like Eddie’s bedroom, but she keeps that to herself.

“Hey, not until after dinner. You’re worse than Christopher!”

Ana looks over as Buck smacks Eddie’s hand with a towel as he tries to sneak cookies and Ana laughs at their antics, although no one else even so much as blinks their way.

Taylor follows her line of sight and smiles. “Oh, they’re like that. You’ll get used to it.”

Before Ana can respond she sees Taylor slide up to Buck and helps him with setting up the rest of the food.

Eddie comes back over to her with a glass of wine and Ana smiles even as she notices Eddie’s face is pinched.

Before Ana can grab it she spills some on her dress and Eddie curses.

“Shit, sorry Ana.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just grab a towel.”

“Buck, I’m taking her upstairs,” Eddie shouts to Buck and he looks over and nods.

Eddie guides her up the stairs and when she sees Buck’s bedroom, she pauses. It’s almost identical to Eddie’s in style and color. He even has the same photo hanging up on the wall. She says as much and Eddie smiles.

“Oh yeah, he came to LA for similar reasons so he had one made for his place.”

“Huh.”

“There should be Shout Wipes in the bathroom. Medicine cabinet.” Eddie points to the bathroom as he sits down on Buck’s bed like he has every right to. He probably does.

“Thanks. I’ll be just a minute.”

Ana closes the door and finds a towel, wetting the stain first and then finding the wipes. As she cleans, she notices the meds in the bathroom.

She knows she shouldn’t snoop but seeing Chris’ name on one of the bottles surprises her. It looks like Buck keeps extra medicine here for backup. She notices painkillers and Eddie’s favorite brand of shaving cream.

Feeling like she’s crossed some sort of boundary she closes the medicine cabinet and is about to head back out when she hears voices from the room.

“You spill on yourself, too?” Eddie jokes and Buck groans.

“Albert ran right into me with the dip.”

“Sucks.”

“Seriously. I can’t wait til he leaves.”

“He could go back home, you know,” Eddie says gently as Ana hears what is likely a shirt being thrown in a hamper.

“I’m not gonna do that to Maddie.” Buck moves around and then asks. “Which one? Red or blue?”

“Blue, definitely,” Eddie responds and Ana can’t see them but she has to agree, whatever blue shirt Buck puts on will bring out his eyes.

“Good, I think this red shirt is actually yours.”

Eddie laughs and Ana pauses a moment because she’s never heard that laugh before. Part fond, part exasperated. She wonders why he laughs like that with Buck.

“Makes sense.”

“Okay, come down when you’re done, I can’t have Albert setting my kitchen on fire.”

Ana can hear Buck heading down the stairs so she leaves the bathroom. Eddie stands to come closer and she accidentally blurts out what she’s thinking.

“You have clothes here?”

“Huh? Oh, well I did live here for a couple of months, but with the firehouse and everything we all probably have each other’s clothes.”

Eddie says it so nonchalantly that Ana can’t even respond as he heads towards the stairs. He turns to look at her.

“Coming?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She doesn’t think it’s nonchalant at all.

~~~

Ana meets Evan all at once.

It’s her first night staying over at Eddie’s, with Christopher at Hen’s house for a sleepover of his own.

She isn’t sure what wakes her up until she hears Eddie’s sleep rough voice.

“Evan?”

Who’s Evan?

“Yeah, no, we’ll be there.” Eddie pauses as he sits up. “Don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t miss it.”

Eddie hangs up and looks at her sheepishly.

“Is everything okay?” She asks as she sits up as well.

“Yeah, Maddie’s gone into labor, so I was gonna head to the hospital.”

Huh? Eddie isn’t family, why is he going to the hospital?

“Okay. Let’s go,” Ana says instead of asking that question.

“Are you sure? I can drop you off first.”

“No, it’s fine, we can go.”

Plus this is a way for her to assert herself as an important person in Eddie’s life.

“Thanks,” Eddie say, relieved, as he starts getting dressed.

Ana follows suit and when they finally head to the hospital Eddie’s a bundle of nerves.

“She’ll be okay,” Ana says quietly as she places a hand on his leg. He nods but he doesn’t relax.

He doesn’t relax, that is, until he sees Buck in the waiting room.

“Evan,” Eddie breathes out as they hug. Ana’s momentarily shocked, because Eddie isn’t overly affectionate with anyone other than Christopher, but he hugs Buck like it’s a normal thing.

Both of them calm down when they hug and then it hits her that Eddie called Buck ‘Evan’. She’s never heard someone call him that, but it must be his first name.

She wonders when Eddie got that privilege.

She feels like she’s intruding so she taps Eddie’s shoulder and he turns toward her.

“I’m gonna grab coffee, you two want anything?”

Buck smiles at her but Eddie answers her.

“Black with cream for me, sugar and cream for Buck.”

“Okay.” Ana walks away and turns around just to see Eddie and Buck sitting down and bringing their foreheads together, almost unconsciously.

“Oh, Ana, hey.”

Ana turns and sees Chimney.

“Chimney, hi. How’s Maddie?”

“She’s good. I’m grabbing her water. And waiting for Albert to get here. I take it you came with Eddie?”

“Yeah. Is the whole station coming?” Ana asks even though she thinks she knows the answer.

“No. Only family. Hen and Bobby said they’d stop by after she’s born,” Chimney responds and then he’s quickly turning back towards the rooms. “Tell Albert when you see him that he comes in second since he’s late.”

“Sure,” Ana says quietly as she takes the coffee back to Buck and Eddie. After they grab theirs she sits next to Eddie and sees what they’re looking at on Eddie’s phone.

“Is that Christopher?” She asks and Eddie nods.

“Yeah, I got so many photos of him when he was this age,” Eddie speaks quietly and Ana realizes that he got sent photos of Christopher because this must’ve been when he was deployed with the Army. He doesn’t talk about it much but she can tell Buck knows because Buck squeezes Eddie’s knee in support.

The biggest shocker, though, is when Eddie grabs Buck’s hand and squeezes back.

She once again feels like she’s intruding on something private, something theirs, and she doesn’t know what to do.

Luckily she doesn’t have to think too much because Albert comes running in and he and Buck start arguing over who’s going to go in first, who’s going to be the better uncle.

“Should we?” Ana gestures to them and Eddie shakes his head.

“Nah, they’re fine. This is fun for them.”

Ana nods and sits back to drink her coffee. Before she knows it, Chimney’s back in the waiting room telling them that Maddie and baby are fine and that they can all come meet her.

Buck and Eddie jump up and Ana trails behind with Albert.

“You don’t want to run in there?” She asks Albert.

“Oh I do, but I don’t want to overwhelm Maddie.”

Ana nods and keeps walking towards the room. When she gets there what she sees stops her in her tracks.

Buck is holding his niece and Eddie, well, Eddie is staring at him with so much love, adoration, and abject want that Ana feels like she’s intruding.

Eddie turns to her and holds out his phone. “Can you take a picture? I promised Chis I would show him before he meets her.”

“Sure,” Ana says like she’s underwater. Eddie’s lockscreen, a picture of Buck and Chris, barely registers.

She hears the baby's name, Kylee Danielle, after her uncles, and watches as Buck tears up, and Eddie grabs the back of his neck.

She then watches Buck pass Kylee to Eddie, and if she wasn’t so shocked she would notice the way Buck was watching him, the way Maddie was watching her, and the way Albert was videotaping everything.

She would notice that Eddie looked damn good holding a baby.

If she didn’t feel like she was intruding on a private family moment.

She doesn’t belong here. She doesn’t belong with Eddie.

She looks toward Maddie and Chimney, Maddie has kind but sad eyes looking at her and Ana knows now that she’s not who Eddie is meant to be with.

“Congratulations,” Ana says quietly. “Eddie, I’m gonna go.”

“You don’t have to go,” Eddie says as he hands Kylee to Albert.

“I do. It’s okay, I’ll call you.”

It shouldn’t surprise her when he nods and turns back to the others but it does.

She nods to Maddie and Chimney and then to Buck, who’s looking at her with an odd expression on his face.

“It was nice to see you again, Evan,” Ana says and she hears his breath catch.

She calls an Uber, waits outside for it, and when she finally gets home, she realizes she took some photos on her phone, too.

Ana looks at them, sees Eddie and Buck, looking like they belong together, and sends them to Eddie with the text ‘you have a beautiful family.’

~~~

Ana learns about Edmundo and Evan Buckley-Diaz when she gets a change of name form for one Christopher Buckley-Diaz.

Along with the name form is an official form of guardianship for Buck, declaring him Christopher’s other father.

~~~

Years later Ana learns about Ellie Buckley-Diaz when her fathers drop her off for her first day of kindergarten.

“Eddie. Buck. Hi,” Ana greets them as they come out of the front office, paperwork in hand and an excited five year old bouncing on her toes.

“Ana,” Eddie says warmly and Buck smiles. “Principal now?”

“Yeah, for a couple of years.”

“Congrats.” Eddie smiles and then turns to his daughter who pulls on his shirt sleeve.

“Daddy, I want to see my classroom.”

“I’ll take you,” Buck responds and gives Ana a smile. He squeezes Eddie’s shoulder once and then takes Ellie’s hand.

“Papa! We have to see it right now!”

“Okay, okay, little monster, we will,” Buck chuckles after her.

Ana turns back to Eddie and he smiles after them and then turns to her.

“I’m happy for you,” Ana says and Eddie looks at her curiously.

“Thank you. I am sorry about how…”

“Water under the bridge.” Ana waves her hand and points to a photo of her and her son, Milo, and Eddie smiles.

“He’s beautiful.”

“Your daughter is, too.” Ana wants to say she looks like a perfect mix between the two of them but she keeps those thoughts to herself.

They’ve never been close enough for that kind of conversation.

“Thank you. She’s certainly energetic, takes after Evan,” Eddie says this with such fondness that Ana’s thrown back to the hospital when Kylee was born, and how he looked at Buck even then.

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“Nope. Well, it was good to see you, I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.”

“Yeah, of course.” Ana smiles as he walks away, towards his family.

Ana looks at the photo of her son again.

Learning all of these things about these great people led her to her greatest joy.

She can’t be mad about that.

#buddie #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #ana flores

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bahorell · 3 years

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Les Amis (& co.) and the stuff they have on their walls

Enjolras: Pictures of his friends. I loved this idea so much I had to expand on it so it’s the shortest paragraph here but he’ll have his own post in a couple days I PROMISE

Combeferre: He has framed bugs!!! They are mostly moths but he also has some really rare expensive beetles that he’s gotten for Christmas. One winter break when he really had nothing going on he did a bunch of research on what all of the bugs were and has little hand-written pieces of paper taped to the wall underneath the bugs with all the info like a little MUSEUM OMG it’s literally the cutest thing. And if you’ve never been to his place before he makes you pick which one if your favorite.

Courfeyrac: Has a bunch of plants all over the walls. They’re so big that he has nails in the walls and any vining plants he’ll hang the vines on the walls so they look like they’re crawling up the walls. He also strategically places big plants like any trees he has or Monsteras in corners or next to dressers. He really doesn’t like putting too much stuff on his walls because he thinks it’s a lot of commitment. He doesn’t really have a lot of printed pictures of his friends and he doesn’t really have enough art to fill a wall space without making it look awkward.

Joly: Joly is one of those really really cool guys that glues and frames all of the puzzles he finishes. Every time he goes somewhere he’s never been before he’ll go into a little tourist shop and buy the biggest puzzle he can find (the more pieces the better). There’s a separate table in the living room that he sits at and works on his puzzle at while he watches Grey’s Anatomy. He’s always rearranging things because he likes everything to have a you know that feng shui so his walls have a bunch of nail holes in them. He’s also quickly running out of wall space because now his friends have started gifting him puzzles as well.

Jehan: Jehan LOVES to collect calendars! But not just like… monthly calendars. They have moon phase calendars, lunisolar calendars, a really really cool mayan calendar replica, a roman calendar, seasonal calendar for things like when to plant and harvest fruits and veggies!, a crystal calendar, a japanese calendar… They really like to look at how different things look from different perspectives. The months look different on a seasonal calendar than they do on a “standard” calendar. It reminds them that they have more control over their time than they think they do. Bousset: Movie posters!!!! He has posters of all his favorite movies but he really is a sucker for the movie posters that are in a retro style. He tries to make sure to buy frames for all of the posters he has because he doesn’t want them to get ruined. He’s scared not only because he has bad luck but because all of his friends are slobs and if they come over you know someone is going to somehow get beer or lasagna on the wall and some of the posters were like limited edition and he CANNOT have them ruined. He also dusts them p regularly.

Feuilly: Feuilly collects but also makes a bunch of wood art that he is very proud of. Usually when he makes something he’ll keep the first draft of it since it isn’t polished enough for him to feel like he can try to sell it. It’s not very often he can find Purple Heart stuff but when he does he really struggles to say no if it’s out of his budget. Also he has a few pieces of moss art that he ADORES

Bahorel: Collects a bunch of small random things that he finds. Pretty much he thinks if he CAN hang it on a wall that he SHOULD hang it on a wall. There’s art pieces, cards he’s gotten from people, business cards that have a cute design on them, he has a shit ton of command strips that hang things like lanyards, his go-to jackets for easy access, his towel when he doesn’t feel like walking back to the bathroom to hang it up after he’s showered. He also has like 5 sets of mini battery powered string lights that he leaves on whenever he’s not sleeping (he spends a lot of money on batteries)

Grantaire: His walls kinda work as his sketchbook when he’s home. He’s found that sometimes working on a vertical surface instead of a horizontal surface helps get the gears turning in his head. It makes him a little frustrated sometimes because he’ll have a whole piece that’s done on one of his walls and then he basically has to repeat yet and put it back on paper but it doesn’t feel the same. Since his walls are pretty much a free-for-all, all of the amis have painted something on them at some point. He tries not to paint over those spots but sometimes he has to.

Marius: Marius has a bunch of shadow boxes of stuff. Most of them are antique items like he has a shadow box that has about 50 unused boxes of matches that are from all over the world, he has a shadow box of antique flies for fly fishing. He’s never fly fished before but seeing the colors on the flies makes him want to try it at least once. He makes most of them himself also! He has one that has a bunch of wine corks in it that he had been collecting for awhile. And he has one that has one item from each Ami that he asked them to contribute to. His favorite tho is the shadow box that is filled with metal caps from soda bottles. It was the first one he made and a lot of the caps he got one summer he spent with his dad when he was a kid trying to find the best brand of soda for each flavor.

Eponine: Eponine doesn’t have a lot of stuff on her walls, she never really has but ever since she got her apartment and moved out of her parents place she got a few art pieces. They aren’t framed or anything, she always thinks that if something happens and she has to move out of her place that big framed art pieces will just be one more thing she has to worry about. It never happens and she’s accumulated enough pieces that eventually she saves up some money and gets most of them framed.

Cosette: When she was a kid her dad bought her a really beautiful wall quilt that she never took off her wall even if she was cold. They’re pretty expensive and she’s managed to collect a few other larger quilts but she also has signed up for classes at a local quilt shop and has a couple small little baby quilts she’s done as practice that she hung up. They make her so proud and she’s loved looking at how her skills have improved since she started!

Musichetta: Musichetta doesn’t have too much stuff on her walls. She has a couple pieces that are really pretty that she has framed, but one of her walls she doesn’t ever hang stuff on because a couple years ago she bought some super cool bright wallpaper that has a bunch of citrus fruits on it. It really adds a bunch of color to her apartment and even in the winter helps makes the place feel warm and bright.

Gavroche: Gav has two of his walls covered in chalkboard paint! He does his homework on them sometimes but mostly he uses them to draw little doodles. One of the walls he hasn’t touched in months because Feuilly and Grantaire worked together on a super big mural for it that took them like 3 days. Gav won’t ever erase it but he has bumped into it enough times that it’s getting pretty smudged. Plus he figures if he erases it they can just do another one. But because he has chalkboard walls he doesn’t really have anything else on his walls. He maybe has one or two pictures on the last wall that isn’t being taken up by chalkboard or closet doors.

#this was so much fun to do #tag yourself #I'm p proud of Joly's tbh #He very much seems like a puzzle guy #les mis #enjolras #combeferre #courfeyrac #jehan #joly #bousset #bahorel #feuilly #grantaire #marius #eponine #musichetta #cosette #gavroche

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3wisellamas · 3 years

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SCC Junk Shop / Decor Headcanons!

(Dangit, I was going to clean all these up and format them into another giant post, but they honestly work better as smaller themed ones, so here.)

Sweet:

-Sweet is NOT a decorator; while they keep the place and especially their workspace tidy, they don't really see the point in making it look nice. -Every bit of gear he owns has its place, usually where it's most accessible and useful when he needs it, and Queen help Cap'n or K_K if they move anything even a couple of inches! -His turntable also has its own designated spot in the shop, with a charging station for it. Cap'n and K_K aren't allowed within five feet of this area, ESPECIALLY with food/milk in their hands! -He's also the type to print out labels, and organize his albums and tools alphabetically. Even the fridge is organized, with a specific spot for everything. Junk and spare parts all have their labelled boxes, and while there isn't much Sweet can do about them piling up he still tries to keep them stacked neatly. -So. Many. Speakers. While Sweet can always plug his equipment into himself, he gets tired of messing with all those cables. -He actually does keep a photo that Cap'n took of him and K_K, and a drawing that K_K made of him and Cap'n, framed on his desk, along with a couple other very small keepsakes. Still organized by color, and off-limits for the others to touch.

Cap’n: -Cap'n is the exact opposite. While he's a total slob who's never lifted a finger to clean a thing in his life (ESPECIALLY not his workspace, not even Cap'n can ever find anything there!), he's also the one who goes to the most lengths to make the shop look... pretty. -Every now and then there'll be a new blanket draped artfully over the back of the couch, with matching cushions (all positioned carefully to hide the patches), the kitchen table always has a tablecloth and a vase of fresh flower jpegs on it, some new old books and rhyming dictionaries (for lyrical purposes) filling out one of the shelves, he frames record sleeves with particularly nice artwork to hang around, etc. -There are also a LOT of mirrors around. Three guesses as to why. -He's definitely got a color preference; obviously he likes blue and purple, but he'll also add in a little yellow or red. Almost everything inside the shop matches that color scheme, down to the bedsheets and the welcome mat -- Cap'n even went ahead and repainted a lot of Sweet's equipment, even if it meant not being spoken to for weeks afterward.

K_K: -K_K's idea of decorating is, in short, fun! -While Sweet makes things practical, and Cap'n makes things aesthetically-pleasing, K_K is the one who makes things homey. Pillows and toys everywhere, drawings stuck all over the fridge and tacked up around the studio, and of course bowls of candy and plates of cookies set out for snacking! -They put up Christmas lights all over the place to make things sparkly. -K_K...doesn't really clean anything up either (as far as they're concerned that's Sweet's job), so their station is ALWAYS covered in junk and random instruments. It's not as bad as Cap'n's, but K_K just has his own way of organizing that no one else can really crack -- he just knows where in all the mess each item is, and can find it immediately, which is why cleaning up after him REALLY throws him off! -Also, EVERY gig the band plays, K_K keeps some little memento from it, from posters to programs to even just a picture of the venue, and has one wall in the back of the shop where he pins them up, as a little time capsule of the band. He can explain every single item on command, even if it's just a random napkin with a coffee ring on it. -K_K also usually handles the *outside* of the shop as well -- they like hanging up signs and posters in the windows, and tinkering with those giant speakers to make them even louder!

#deltarune #sweet cap'n cakes #deltarune sweet #deltarune cap'n #deltarune k_k #undertale #sweet #cap'n #k_k #emheadcanons

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arse-crack-thistle · 3 years

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rwrb characters and their christmas trees

Alex and Henry

Alex insists on a real tree but doesn’t realize the maintenance involved. He and Henry invest in a Dyson.

Henry watches Little Women once and decides he’ll dry citrus and string it around the tree for a 19th century Christmas feel. It takes four days, but at least the apartment smells good.

They hang handmade ornaments from the kids at the LGBTQ+ center, and it warms their little queer hearts every time they look at the tree.

Not every night, but sometimes, Alex and Henry get cozy on the couch—all cuddled up and wrapped in sweaters and blankets. The white lights of the tree cover them in a soft glow. An indie Christmas playlist plays from a speaker, and outside, it’s snowing.

David curls up at their feet.

Nora, June, and Pez

Nora finds an old, plastic tree in a dumpster. Half the lights don’t work, but she sets it up at June’s place anyways.

Pez drops hard cash on tinsel and covers the tree in glitter. It gets in every crevice of the apartment.

June thinks it’s too far gone to save, but she let’s those two have their fun.

The tree becomes a multi-cultural icon with TJ Maxx Hanukkah ornaments, a garland made from specially-ordered akwete cloth, and a printed picture of the Virgin of Guadalupe at the top. (This might be sacrilegious. Nora’s unsure if they’ll be cursed.)

Bea and Catherine

Bea continues her father’s favorite Christmas tradition of decorating the tree themselves, and this year Catherine joins her—a little tipsy but they make it work.

They blast holiday favorites on vinyl and may or may not dance a little. Catherine smiles through the whole thing, and Bea feels fuzzy and warm.

The cat swats at the tree branches.

Ellen and Leo

Leo decorates the White House like he usually does: answering yes or no questions the interior designers ask him. It’s bright this year but with warm, neutral tones. Apparently, whatever he chose is very “in” right now.

Ellen doesn’t have a ton of time to think about a tree, but she does have one put in their bedroom. It’s traditional with rich reds, greens, and golds, but Alex and June’s old school ornaments poke out here and there, making her smile.

Zahra and Shaan

They don’t have a tree in the traditional sense—they both are way too busy to deal with something so trivial—but every time they Zoom each other, they each find a ridiculous tree on the internet to be their backgrounds. It’s become a competition, and Zahra is winning, of course.

Oscar and Rafael

They don’t have a tree either, but before congress breaks for the holiday, they grab a drink at their favorite bar. Bottle caps and gift cards decorate the fake tree in the corner. There’s a sarcastic comment and a light chuckle, but for the most part they ignore it and bitch about a certain senator they hate.

Philip and Martha

They commission a designer to decorate their tree that will appear in The English Home. Martha asks that all the ornaments be purchased from small businesses across the U.K., but she has no other preferences since they’ll be spending Christmas at Balmoral anyways.

Philip can’t really be bothered with the tree, but he likes how it turns out—light and pastel. It’s different than the trees he had as a kid, but it gets him thinking about the trees his future children will have. Will they all be pretty and neat like this one? Or will they be homey and a little chaotic like his always were? That reminds him he should call his mother and Bea and then Henry and Alex. He hopes they’re all well.

Liam and Spencer

They go on a date to a Christmas tree farm and chop down their own tree. Neither of them are decorators, but they each have a box of ornaments from their childhoods that they use. Rainbow lights wrap around the tree, and a gold star from Walmart tops it.

Amy and her wife (plus Cash)

Over the years, Amy has acquired quite the collection of mini embroidery hoop ornaments. Most of them she made herself, others she got as gifts, and some she bought off Etsy. Her wife fully supports this obsession and happily decorates their tree with them. She puts the crocheted angel her grandmother made at the top.

Cash finds himself over at their house a lot—so much so, he has a hand-knit stocking hanging over their fireplace. He contributed to the tree this year by checking each and every light bulb because when they first plugged it in, nothing happened. Now, it’s illuminated and rotates on a motor to show off every ornament. They all clink their beers in celebration.

WASP-y Hunter

He spends the holiday with his parents in Hawaii, drinking piña coladas out of a pineapple and wearing leis given to him by the resort staff. There are traditional Christmas trees in the lobby, but the ones he’s sees on Christmas day are a collection of short palms covered in rainbow lights at the hotel’s luau.

The Queen

This bitch has, like, a thousand trees, and she never touches a single one. They all stand tall, overly-decorated and judgmental, like her. The eyes of the angels at the top follow you, and it creeps Bea out to no end.

Richards

He doesn’t get a Christmas tree in his prison cell. Ha ha, fuck him.

psa: this in no way implies these characters would actually celebrate christmas. i just thought it would be a fun and dumb thing to write. <3

rwrb winterfest 2020 | @rwrb-fests

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the-record · 3 years

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The City of Romance (Part 4)

Summary: On Spencer’s mandatory leave, he plans a trip to Paris, France where he meets an unforgettable face.

Part 4 summary: It’s Christmas!

Italics: Translation French to English. Bold: Song lyrics

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Non-BAU!Fem!Reader

A/N: Ahh yes the beloved fluff. There will be angst (as there is in any relationship) and some other things but we all know how much I love love. Like it’s sickening.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Check out my masterlist here!

“Spence! You ready?”

At 6 months, Spencer asked you to move in with him. You spent a lot of time at his place already so you of course said yes. His place already kind of felt like yours so you had a natural routine down. Today was different. To most it was you average Friday. Last day of the week before the notorious and anticipated winter break. For you? For you, it was the day your class was going to meet Spencer. They had been begging you after seeing a polaroid of the two of you in your phone case. So, you asked him to come in and read to the class.

“Yeah, one second!” You were putting on your coat and boots when Spencer came out. He was wearing the usual white button up and cardigan with dress pants and converse. The best part of that day’s outfit, was his tie. It was white with navy blue, to match the cardigan, silhouettes of dinosaurs on it. They were something your kids had an infatuation with. You giggled softly when you saw it.

“Nice tie. Boy genius is starting to seem like fitting nickname.” You winked at him before throwing his coat at him. He miraculously managed to catch it from across the room.

“Shut up. You’re literally wearing a 1950′s style Christmas dress with mistletoe in your ponytail.” You gaped at him and scoffed.

“It’s for teaching!” He raised his eyebrows. “The kids love history and I thought this would be perfect. My lesson plan has us teaching them about Christmas throughout the decades.” You took out the small plant from your hair and held it over the both of your heads. “And this... This is for you.” You leaned into him, on your tiptoes, placing a kiss on his lips before pulling away and putting the branch into your hair again. You gripped his hand in yours. “Now, come one before I am late.”

He followed your lead, walking behind you out of the apartment before heading to school on the metro. School was never kind to him, but if you were there everything would be okay. You were practically buzzing from excitement. Like his team was his family, these kids started to feel like yours. You couldn’t tell them things that you could tell adults, but they were the most understanding people in the world and you would do absolutely anything for them. When you arrived outside the school, hand in hand with Spencer, her thought you might just run all the way down and speed up time so the children got there quicker. If you could do that, you would’ve. Instead you walked with Spencer and prepped the room for teaching. You set out cards for every kid and set up the party later today. You printed and got worksheets prepared while Spencer chose what he was going to read. Finally the day was set and ready and the kids were set to arrive soon. Spencer sat in the back reading so he didn’t disturb the usual morning routine.

Kids began to line up at the door where you stood. “Good morning class! I know we are so excited about our guest and the party today but we still have lots of learning to do!” You called out, standing in front of the line. “At each of your spots is your morning work along with a coloring page for when you finish. Hang up your coats and bag and do those while we wait for all of our friends to arrive!” You walked inside the classroom with little boys and girls following you in. You sat in the front, correcting if a child ran or didn’t put away their stuff the right way. Spencer watched in awe as you interacted with every single human in the room. He watched as you helped kids with the math or reading they had been assigned.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” You looked up from the paper you were looking at to the voice you heard. It was a little girl named Charlotte.

“Yes Charlotte?” You made eye contact with the small girl, something you had established was good for making conversations.

“Is that your prince in the back of the room?” Your face flushed as a smile made it’s way on your face. The same giggle from this morning erupted from your lips.

“Yes sweetheart. That is my prince.” You winked at Spencer from the front of the room. “Okay kiddos, today is very exciting. Last day of school before winter break and a party! However, we have lots of learning to do. That starts with fixing our calendar!”

The day went smoothly and everything was fun and exciting for the kids. You were so grateful for Spencer being there because if it wasn’t for him, you would have never even made it to lunch time.

“Alright, when the kids get back we have social studies, then story time, and wrap up the day with the party. You my good prince, are going to be helping Ms. Y/L/N the rest of the day.” You told him. He and you had stayed in the classroom to eat pizza the secretary had ordered for all teachers.

“Okay, I have to ask. Why am I the prince?” You smiled and covered your full mouth with your hand before telling him the story.

“The girl ran down the stairs, leaving only a glass slipper. She had to get out before the clock struck midnight.” Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket. It was Spencer. He never called you in the day and he was supposed to be on a case right now. You sat the book down making sure not to lose the page. “Sorry kiddos. Everyone stay here and chat while I take this.” You left the gabbing children to answer the call in the hallway. “Spencer? Are you ok?”

“Hey, yeah I’m okay. We got the unsub and I’m heading home early...” He trailed off.

“What’re you not telling me?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just- I wanted to check on you. Something really big happened today and I can’t explain it but I just needed to know you were okay.” You smiled.

“I’m okay.” You peered back into your classroom. “School is almost done, I have to get back but I’ll see you when you at home, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Go teach some kids for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You hung up the phone and walked back in, still checking your phone.

“Ms. Y/L/N? Who is that in the picture with you on your phone?” You scrunched your eyebrows together, flipping the rectangle in your hand to look at the back. Your face relaxed when you saw the picture of you and him. Penelope had taken it when you were dancing with him to You Belong with Me in David’s backyard.

“That’s... That’s my bestfriend.” You spoke in a hushed tone.

“Is he your prince?” You let out a laugh through your nose.

“Yes. Yes, he is my prince.”

“Wow. That is adorable and now I have a favorite kid.” You smiled and looked at the time. The kids would be getting back in a minute so the both of you quickly cleaned up. You sat for a moment, nursing a Dr. Pepper while you waited for the sound of tiny feet rushing to the door. When you did you quickly stood up to open the door. The people outside the door quickly filled the room as you got ready to teach.

“Was your guys’ lunch good?” There were yeses around the room. “Well that is absolutely magnificent.” You turned to the front of the room to start teaching. “Should we get started on social studies now?”

“Alrighty ighty, that is all we have left today. Who knows what time it is?” Every kid from every table raised their hand in excitement. “Dominic.”

“Story time!” You smiled.

“That’s right! Now i want everyone to welcome our guest!” You grabbed Spencer’s hand and pulled him to the front of the classroom. He sat down in the chair you had pulled up. “This is my very good friend Mr. Reid. And Mr. Reid does really good story time voices so I need you all to listen,” You pointed to your ears with both hands. “Watch,” Your fingers moved to point at your eyes. “And think,” You moved your hands one last time to point at your head. “About the the story!” You winked at Spencer, signaling for him to get started.

“Hey kids!” There was an abundance of hellos and heys from around the room. “My name is Mr. Reid but you can call me Spencer. Today we are reading one of my all time favorite books!” He pulled out a book from behind his back. It was one that your father gave you many many years ago. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” He opened the book and began to read. “Every Who down in Who-Ville like Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just north of Who-Ville did not!” Each voice differed from the other. His Grinch voice was hearty and deep making the children giggle, while his Who voice was higher and peppy. You sat next to the children, watching in awe just as they did. You didn’t look away not for a second. You didn’t have to. They were all entranced by his magical voices. No one talked and no one dared to move. The story was too compelling.

“And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight, he whizzed with his load through the bright morning light, and brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! And he... He himself! The Grinch carved the roast beef.” He closed the book, soaking in the claps and whoops from the children. From you...

“Well Spencer that was absolutely fantastic! Do you guys agree?” Claps and screams floated around the room, bouncing off the walls to his ears. “Alright settle down, settle down. I know we are all very excited about the amazing story we just heard but we must get ready for our party!” You walked to front of the room and flicked on the lights that were off. “Okie dokie. I need everyone, when I say go, to walk to their cubbies and grab their coats and bags. Then I want everyone to walk back to their seats and place their belongings on the back of their chair before walking to get in line. I want no talking until we get in line so we can hurry and get down to the gym for the party! Ça sonne bien?” “Sound good?”

“Sounds good!” They all announced loudly.

“Alrighty, go!” They all rushed to stand up but walked careful around, packing up their bags and coats. “Your voices really are fantastic Mr. Reid. I think I might need you to come and read more often.” He blushed at your words.

“Well thank you Ms. Y/L/N. If we weren’t standing in a room filled with kindergarteners right now, I would totally kiss you.” You giggled and look down at your hands trying to hide the blush rising to your cheeks. “They really adore you ya’ know.”

“Not as much as they adore you Spence. I’ve never seen them so interested in a book before.” You looked around to see the little humans were all in line staring at you in silence. “Well...” You cleared your throat. “I heard that moms and dads are setting up right now, so I want everyone to be quiet and walk down the hallway single file. Can you do that for me?” They all nodded and you started walking down with them behind you to the gym. “Everyone go in and listen to Mrs. Jenkins so she can tell you what to do! I’ll be down to take outside for dismissal in a little! Be good for Mrs. Jenkins!” They all walked in their quickly leaving you and Spencer in the hallway. You grabbed his hand and pulled him back to your classroom. “Come on, I have something I want to show you.” You and him ran down the hallway to your room where you shut the door and walked to your desk. You pulled out a box wrapped in brown wrapping paper. You held it out. “Open it.”

He took the box carefully and slowly undid it. He opened the large purple box under the wrapping to the reveal a picture frame. It had a picture of you and him. It was from one of the dinners you went to. You had asked the waitress to take a photo while he wasn’t looking. You and him were laughing about something.

“Turn it over.” He did just that to see a note from you and the lyrics to You Belong with Me. As he read it you saw his eyes fill with tears. He set it down gently, careful not to break it before pulling you into a sweet kiss.

“Thank you Y/N/N. I love it, so so much.” You smiled. “I love you, so so much.”

“I love you too.” Your arms fell around your torso and his around your shoulders in a hug. He kissed your head before resting his chin on the same spot. You could stay this way for the rest of your life.

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You were woken up by the sun peeking through the blinds. You were cuddled up next to Spencer’s half clothed body. He was combing through your hair with his fingers.

“Mmm, good morning prince.” Your voice was thick with sleep.

“Good morning princess. Merry Christmas eve.” You smiled realizing what day it was.

“Merry Christmas eve.” You pulled yourself closer to him. “When did you get back last night?”

“Very late. I didn’t wanna wake you so I just got in bed and you cuddled close to me. I figured that would do until I saw you in the morning.” You chuckled lowly on his chest.

“I’m glad you’re back. I was nervous you would miss Christmas.” He placed a kiss on your head.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world sweet girl. I wouldn’t even dream of it.” You pulled the sheets higher up to keep warm. “You excited for dinner tonight?” Your heart dropped when you remembered. You didn’t answer. Instead, you looked at your hands which were drawing shapes on Spencer’s stomach. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

“My dad. It’s my second Christmas without him. These dinner’s were his idea.” A lone tear rolled down your cheek and onto Spencer.

“Oh baby. I’m sorry. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but it gets better. I mean I speak from experience. I know our situations are a little different, but my dad may as well be dead. We don’t have to go if you don’t want either. I can only imagine how hard this all is for you.” You shook your head.

“I have to go. It’s to honor him really. Thank you.” He nodded and pressed another kiss on your head before getting up. “Prince, what are you doing?” He grabbed your hands and pulled you up.

“I am taking my amazing, beautiful, sweet, kind, fantastic girlfriend to our kitchen to make her coffee and breakfast.” You smiled and leaned into him.

“You might have to carry me.” So he did just that. He picked you up and carried you to the kitchen, placing you on the cold counter tops. “Jesus christ!” He looked at you with concern in his eyes.

“What?”

“I’m in a shirt and my underwear. This counter is fucking freezing.” He smiled and shook his head.

“Just sit still and look pretty while I make you coffee.” You rolled your eyes and put your hands under your thighs to try and keep them off the cold slab of rock. Not much later Spencer handed you a sweet cup of coffee. You had grown to like his overly sweetened coffee and now requested it. You sipped on the mug as Spencer rubbed his hands over your legs. They inched closer and closer to the inside of your thighs. You set down the mug and took his hands in yours.

“Baby.” He whined at your actions and snuck his hands out from yours, getting back to what he was doing. “I’m gonna be late to set up if you don’t quit it.” He smiled even more.

“You better call Rossi, and don’t even think about making a noise.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I am going to kill you Spencer Reid! We are so late right now!” You ran around the bathroom putting in jewelry.

“That’s not what you said earlier!” You reminded you.

“Well earlier I was happy and now I am stressed because we are going to be late! Are you ready?” You looked from the bathroom doorway to see him sitting on the bed, completely ready.

“Waiting on you princess.”

“Save it.” You grabbed the presents from beside your bed. “Let’s go.”

The door opened to a very cheery Penelope. “Y/N! Oh my goodness you look absolutely gorgeous! Wow, you are just-”

“Penelope, let them in it’s cold outside.” You silently thanked JJ.

“Yes, sorry.” She opened the door to let the both of you inside. He took your coat to hang up while you went in to see your friends.

“JJ!” The girl pulled you into a hug. “I missed you.” She pulled away.

“I missed you too. I think your uncle did too.”

“Oh shit.” Your hand quickly covered your gaping mouth. “Something... let’s just go with something came up.” You felt an arm around your waist.

“Something most definitely came up.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey pretty boy finally decided to show up. Y/N, how are you?”

“Very tired and ready to go to sleep. How are you D?”

“I could say the same. However none of us will ever say no to a meal from Rossi.”

“You can say that again!” You turned to see Penelope now in the living room reaching out a glass of wine to you. You graciously accepted.

“Thanks Pen. Speaking of, where is David?” You looked around the room and didn’t see him. “And Aaron?”

“I don’t actually know. Now, come on we have been waiting on your both to start eating and I am sure the boys are getting antsy.” You held Spencer’s hand as you walked into the dining room.

“Y/N!” You looked to see both little boys running at you. You didn’t even have a chance to know what was happening before they pummeled into you. You ended up falling backwards right onto your ass thanks to your decision to wear heels.

“Boys!” JJ quickly came and swept them up. “Y/N I am so sorry about that. Are you ok?” She reached out a hand to help you up while Spencer gripped your arm for extra support. They both helped you up and back to your feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You smoothed out your dress. “I’m going to go get David and Aaron. I can only assume they are in his office talking about work.”

“Wait!” You turned to see Spencer grabbing your wrist. “I got it, go sit down.”

“Spence, I got it.”

“No, Y/N really. Let me.” He bit the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit.

“What is going on, why are you being so weird?” You folded your arms in front of your chest.

“Baby it’s nothing, just let me. Please.”

“Fine. Whatever, I’m gonna go sit then I guess.” You walked away without another word. The team could read you like a book. You were annoyed. Bothered. Upset. Confused even.

“Pretty girl, you ok?” You didn’t even look up to talk to Derek while you sat down.

“Fine.” You took a sip of your wine. “Why is Spencer being so weird? Like why couldn’t I just go get them? I mean David is my uncle not his. What is up with him? Was it me? Did I do something wrong?” You dropped your head into your hands. “Does he really just want to get away from me for a moment? Am I just overbearing?”

“Y/N.” You looked up at Emily. “He’s fine. Just... just trust us okay?” She could see you were still concerned but you agreed.

“Yeah. yeah, okay.” You took a large swig of wine and quickly refilled the glass.

You were awkward and cautious the rest of the night. You made sure not to be touchy, not to bring much up, not to talk to much really. You just tried to be in the background. This didn’t go unnoticed. Everyone noted how you would almost touch Spencer but pull yourself back. Or how you would open your mouth but close just as quickly as you opened it. They all noticed how closed off you became. Especially Spencer. He knew why but he wasn’t ready just yet. He had to go get the present from Rossi who had ordered it for him because he wasn’t very tech savvy.

“Present time!” Garcia announced. They had thought about just doing secret Santa, but you and Penelope had insisted on buying everyone gifts so you all had decided to just do presents. You all passed them around. JJ and her family were the first to open. Then Penelope, Derek, Emily, Rossi, Hotch and Jack, Spencer, and finally it was your turn.

The Jareau-LaMontagne’s had gotten you a blanket and spa day kit. They knew how kids were, having one, and thought that you might need something about having to be around them for hours 5 days a week. Penelope got you stuff for teaching. Derek got you a gift card for your favorite store. Emily got a necklace you had told her about months before. David got you lots of candles and your favorite snacks. Aaron got you and Spencer some useful household things. Spencer got you a cardigan to match one of your favorites of his.

“Thank you guys, I really loved it all.” You smiled at all of your friends.

“Actually, I have one more thing for you.” You turned to look at Spencer with scrunched eyebrows. He pulled out a small black box and you thought you might throw up. “Don’t worry. It’s not what you think, I’m not proposing.” You let out a breath of relief. He opened the small box to reveal 2 rings. One was a thicker ring with the cut out of a dinosaur and the other, a dainty ring with the dinosaur cut out attached. Your eyes welled up with tears.

“Baby...” He the smaller one out and placed it on your left ring finger.

“It’s a promise ring. A promise of my love for you.” You pulled him in for a kiss not even caring for the audience around you. When you pulled away you buried your face in his neck and hugged him as he pulled you into his lap. “I love you sweet girl. Don’t forget it.” All of your worries floated away as he said those words. He loved you and that is all you ever needed.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #Jennifer Jareau #emily prentiss #Penelope Garcia #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #david rossi #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fluff

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thefandomlesbian · 3 years

Note

May I ask for some holiday themed Hotchreid headcannons? Thanks, El, love ya XOXO - Em

-Aaron is usually a pretty good cook. The exception is that he never learned how to properly cook a Thanksgiving turkey. It was at Haley's insistence—she swore it was the wife's job to cook the Thanksgiving centerpiece, and Aaron adhered closely to "happy wife happy life" and let her have holidays her way (he was just grateful to be welcome to celebrate). The first year after her death, he tried to bake a turkey, but he used the wrong type of pan and managed to melt plastic in his oven and charred his turkey, resulting in him taking Jack to Jessica's and a painfully awkward interaction with Haley's extended family. Every year thereafter, even in the snow, he fires up the grill and barbecues the turkey. That's something he knows how to do and Jack and Spencer love it.

-Aaron does all of the cooking for all holidays. Spencer's contributions are marginal. Usually he takes Jack out of the house for a few hours so Aaron can cook in peace. He also ices all of the cakes with a pretty unique talent for it.

-Spencer is new to holiday celebration at large. He never got that as a kid, so coming over to Aaron's the day after Thanksgiving and seeing everything decorated and lit is a surprise. For Aaron, it's bittersweet, because he also didn't get happy holiday interactions as a kid, but he did with Haley, and all of the decorations he owns are hers and a lot of them are heirlooms. He sees her in all of the ornaments. The first year, Spencer takes a picture of Aaron lifting Jack up to put the angel on top of the tree. The second year, Jack asks Spencer to do it, and Aaron takes a picture. There's a glowing halo of light around the angel, which was a gift from Haley's grandmother, and a shadow on the wall in the shape of a woman. Jack and Spencer are laughing. Aaron doesn't show the things he notices to Spencer (he knows better than to ruin it by having Spencer explain to him all the potential scientific explanations) but he prints the picture and frames it and hangs it on their wall.

-Spencer is always infodumping about the origins of all the holidays year round. Jack has never been so fascinated. This goes down the toilet when Jack repeats how Christmas actually has nothing to do with Jesus and Jesus isn't real and there's no such thing as God at school. After that, Aaron explicitly forbids all holiday discussion outside of, "Santa is real until he isn't, Jesus is real unless you change your mind, and we love you no matter what you think about these things."

-Aaron drags them all to midnight mass. He swears it's good luck or something. Spencer knows it means a lot to him, since it's one of two days a year he actually goes to church, so he tries not to complain much. But Spencer also was not raised Catholic and makes a handful of mistakes, like kicking the kneeler down on everyone's feet by mistake (he blames Jack) or taking communion (Aaron shoots him a look between panic and the stink eye, like he's convinced God will smite Spencer on the spot, but if he doesn't, Aaron is going to be very pissed).

-Spencer also falls asleep during midnight mass. It's a feat for an insomniac. He manages.

-On the first New Years they celebrate together, Spencer lights sparklers and gives one to Jack. He burns himself. They watch the ball drop on the TV in the waiting room at the ER.

-Spencer tells Jack all about why the ball drops and the traditions surrounding the new year. Aaron always cooks cabbage and black eyed peas for the new year.

-They go sledding. Spencer has never gone sledding before and crashes into a tree. He hurts his knee and spends the rest of winter on crutches waiting for his ligaments to heal and hoping he doesn't wind up needing another surgery. From then on, Aaron drives the sled.

-Spencer and Jack want to try to build a snowman but soon realize building a snowman is overrated. Instead they make snow angels and then strategically plot their battle fort. When Aaron comes out to call them inside for supper, he's mobbed by snowballs. They have him outnumbered, but he still manages to hold his own until Jack resorts to guerrilla warfare and climbs a tree and drops a whole bough of snow on his head. Winded and stunned, Aaron lies there, looking up at Spencer and Jack, and he feels more blessed than he has in years.

#em tag #hotchreid #criminal minds #Aaron hotchner #Spencer reid

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 4 years

Text

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E9; Chapter Nine, The Gate - [Pt. 6 - FINAL PART]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

The survivors turn up the heat on the monstrous force that's holding Will hostage, and Y/n's powers are put to the ultimate test in the process. Eleven makes plans to finish what she started.

A/n: your snowball outfit is completely up to you since everyone is different. IF you need ideas, I have a pinterest board you can look at if you want. My username is the same as my Tumblr, which is in my description. Also, I was wrong again, THIS is the longest chapter. Happy reading!

We’re finally here!!

Ps: you think this chapter is cute jUST WAIT FOR COSMIC 3 🤭😉☺

||3rd Person POV||

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock,"

The light and blithe tune of Bobby Helms' classic, 'Jingle Bell Rock' fills the Hawkins Middle School gym as everyone prepares for the annual Snow Ball. A mix of faculty and volunteers are spread across the gym hanging decorations, including Mr. Clarke who finishes hanging the large banner reading; Hawkins Middle Snow Ball '84.

"Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time,"

The Byers house is once more filled with soft music and laughter, smiles are worn by all. In the time of Will's recovery, everyone had been ecstatic to find his memories promptly returned to him. The dark fog over his brain had been cast away, returning to him all his forgotten memories.

Many new drawings hung on the fridge mixed in with older ones, one, in particular, sat front and center for all to see. None more proud to see it than Joyce who had wrapped her son in a tearful hug upon seeing it. It was a bright and smiling picture of Bob in the classic Superman pose, a bright red cape flying behind him and written boldly beneath were three words; Bob Newby Superhero.

"Yeah, you got it. See?" Joyce says, a big smile evident in her voice.

"Mom!" Will pleas, thoroughly embarrassed.

There's another beat of silence as Joyce dances around the living room with her son, a smirking Jonathan off to the side filming.

"Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock,"

The two bounce across the floor as he gets used to the rhythm, short bursts of frustrated muttering under his breath do not go unnoticed by his mother.

"Will, honey," she smirks knowingly when he worriedly meets her eyes. "You're doing fine."

He tries to shake the nerves away, and the rising blush attempting to make an appearance. He tries to take his mind off his anxieties and redirects his attention to his older brother. Jonathan seemed intent on getting every angle, and it only put Will on edge further despite the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. After all, it wouldn't be Jonathan if he wasn't trying to document everything.

Still, Will quirks a brow, trying to sound as polite as possible.

"Do you always have to be filming everything?" He asks.

"No, no," Jonathan chuckles, peeking out from behind the camera's scope to smirk at his brother. "Just the good stuff."

Will's eyes flicker from their bouncing feet and his hand on his mother's arm, the other in her hers, unsure. All week he had been racked with nerves as the Snow Ball got closer, not to mention how uptight he had felt all of that day.

Will wanted his dance with Y/n to be perfect.

He had decided early on he would ask her to dance, no matter how nervous he got. After she had saved him, things had been... different between them. They were both a bit of a blushy mess, but never said or did anything about it given Will's recovery. Something had already changed between them when he was rescued from the Upside Down. Since she kissed him on the cheek. But again, both of them had been too scared to do anything, or Dustin, Mike, or Lucas would interrupt before something could happen.

But now? The Snow Ball? Everyone had decided to go as a group, so they would meet up there anyway. But Will decided he couldn't hide it much longer, and he had hopeful suspicion she felt a similar way. So he planned on changing everything tonight.

But none of that put any of his nerves at ease.

What if she said no? Or worse, what is she said yes? And then he would be dancing like this with her and no one else would be, and she'd laugh.

"Are you sure people still dance like this?" Will asks finally.

"Yeah," Joyce shrugs, still bouncing them around the room. "It's what's happenin'."

He looks to her expectantly, only to see her smirking at him. Confused, but allowing himself to feel a bit hopeful, he looks to Jonathan past the camera. Unknowingly, his mother keeps her smirk screwed on her face as her eyes follow Will's.

"Is it what's happenin'?"

Jonathan shrugs, going along with the charade. "Yeah, yeah, it's what's happenin'."

Will lets out his arm, allowing his mother to duck and twirl. She unravels in step, spreading out her arms in a big show and a proud smile before returning to her son's arms.

"That was good," she cheers. "That was good, very good."

Will relaxes, nodding to himself and returning his attention to where he steps.

"Hey," she says softly, bringing his head up to look at her. She grins sweetly, her eyebrows shooting up. "You two are gonna have fun, I know it,"

Jonathan can't stop the chuckle before it breaks loose, and hides behind the JVC as Will turns pink.

"Mom!"

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The shutter of Karen Wheeler's polaroid camera hooks sharply into Mike's ears as does the blinding white light of the camera's flash that blinds him. The freshly printed polaroid falls to the ground and she quickly grabs it.

"Oh, wait!" She orders to a stiff and uncomfortable Mike who stands at the end of the stairs in a tie and sweater vest.

"Alright, that's enough," he huffs, hand still on the banister.

"One more, okay?" She pleas. "Just one more."

"Why?"

She grins proudly behind her camera and coos. "You look so handsome."

"Mom!"

"Mike." She retaliates, cheerfully.

The shutter clicks, grabbing another picture of Mike. This time, a pouty and exhausted expression on his face instead of a flat and embarrassed one.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Hey... wanna dance?"

Lucas shakes his head, hands on his hips as he tries to clear his head. He stands before his mirror, working through his nerves as he practices asking Max to dance. He felt a little silly doing it, but he deemed it necessary it if meant he was more prepared to dance with the girl who made his heart skip a beat.

"We should, you know, get out there, like, do our thing... Stop," he tells himself suddenly.

Even he felt himself growing uncomfortable at that request. But he tried again.

He looks at himself in the mirror, raising a finger and gesturing to his reflection. His mouth opens to say something clever, anything, but nothing comes out.

Okay, he needed to shake this. He was better than this! He smacks his face lightly, rubbing his puffed-out cheeks around trying to wake himself up a little more if possible.

"I love this song," he beams into the mirror with a charming smile. "You?"

Okay, that wasn't bad. That could work! He could feel the confidence swelling up in his chest like a balloon.

And then it popped.

"Yeah, I love it." Came an exaggerated, sickly sweet voice from his doorway. "But not as much as I love you, Lukey."

His face drops when he sees Erica in the mirror behind him, a mischievous grin stretching wide across her face. He whirls around to face her and stomps towards her as she bats her eyelashes, feigning innocence.

"Get out of my room!"

The door slams shut, leaving a giggling and rather pleased Erica out in the hallway.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Ow, ow. That hurts." Max protests.

Max sits in front of the mirror, her mother behind her as she pins back her long bangs in one thin braid. She smiles at her daughter through the mirror.

"It's gonna be worth it. Promise."

Max catches movement out of the corner of her eye, and she turns her head to see Billy who had come to a stop outside her door when she caught his eye. He looks at her blankly, testing the waters but she has none of it.

"Jingle bell time is a swell time,"

The radio continues it's Christmas melody, like Susan Hargrove, blissfully unaware of the hostile glare Max holds her stepbrother in. The threat of that night still burns behind her eyes, sending him walking.

She returns her attention to the mirror, where her mother finishes fluffing her long red curls and beams down at her.

"See? Pretty."

The word sends Max into a sigh, and she throws her head back with a groan.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!"

Dustin marches out of his room in a cornflower blue button-up, black suspenders, bowtie, and a frown. He passes his mother who sits in her usual armchair, she is cuddling the family's newest edition; a young kitten she had dubbed Tews. Y/n took quite a disliking to the name, wishing her mother had been less obvious she was trying to replace Mews. Especially since she knew what had really happened to their "missing" cat.

The kitten purrs in delight as Claudia Henderson strokes Tews behind his small ear. She looks over at her son who angrily enters the kitchen, his head of damp curls bouncing near his shoulders.

"Where did you see it last?"

"Right here," he argues, gesturing to the counter. "Where I put it."

"What's in there that's so important anyway?" She asks gently. "You look fabulous, baby."

Dustin's hardened exterior melts, his worry dissolving completely into relief when he spots the brown paper bag hiding away behind a box of 'MeowMix'. He picks it up, testing its weight and he smirks back at his mother.

"Got it,"

Dustin dashes across the living room and back into his bedroom, just missing the sharp and quick ring of the doorbell.

"That's your ride." She perks, eyes darting to the door. "Dusty!"

Dustin unravels the bag on his bed, pulling out the cold tin can of Farrah Fawcett Hairspray, and uncaps it. He glides towards the mirror, taking a deep breath, and starts the first coat.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Soft moonlight spills over the faces of Jim Hopper, El Hopper, and Y/n Henderson as the truck they sit in navigates through the trees and into town. In the time since their defeat of the Mind Flayer, and especially since the latest news of El's adoption, Y/n had been over a handful of times. The only other person having been allowed to the cabin being Mike, each visit carefully planned and spaced out so as to not draw any suspicion.

When the news had been broken to El, she hadn't stopped smiling for weeks. Not only was she finally allowed a normal life, but she was also finally surrounded by people who would love her and nurture her, always. No more uncertainty of where she would end up, or if she were ever allowed to leave. She knew now her freedom was certain.

When she had first broken the news to Y/n, her smile was still screwed to her face as she repeated the word with great excitement.

"Adopted!"

Y/n had erupted into giddy laughter, more than thrilled for her friend. "El, that's fantastic!"

And when Hopper brought home the dress he had picked out - with the welcomed help of Joyce - and told her about the Snow Ball? She was elated. It wasn't long before plans were made with Y/n. And even though Y/n was there to offer her help with getting ready, Hopper couldn't quite pull himself away from offering his own assistance with whatever the girls needed. Whether it be hair, make-up, or simple advice.

He was just happy to have a daughter to worry about again, and she didn't seem to mind.

They now traveled in comfortable silence, the Christmas music on the radio blended with the steady white noise of the engine, and the tires traveling on the road blanketed the silence. El and Y/n sat together in the back seat that had recently been installed, Hopper turning his attention into the radio to give them as much privacy as possible.

El kept her eyes glued on the passing scenery outside her window as she took several deep breaths, her right hand absent-mindedly twirling the braided blue hair tie Hopper had gifted to her around her wrist.

Y/n, recognizing the behavior all too well, smiled timidly at her friend.

"You excited?"

El turned to her friend, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the question. Her smile quickly matched Y/n's.

"Yes,"

She takes another deep breath, forcing her shoulders to relax and slowly they sink back down. El is quick to catch the quirked brow sent her way.

"It's okay to be nervous," Y/n says, drawing El's attention back to her.

El looks at her best friend, studying her. She feels herself relax a bit when she senses Y/n's words are completely genuine. Y/n offers El a soft smile that eases away any remaining tension. As the truck passes a clearing in the trees another ray of moonlight glides across Y/n's face, making El smile to herself.

'Pretty,' she thinks.

"It's completely normal to be nervous for a dance," she continues. "I'm nervous about it, too,"

El nods, thinking about this.

"I think it'll be different once you get there," her next words bring a small blush to El's cheeks. "Once you see Mike, I think it'll all get a bit easier,"

There's another beat of silence as El contemplates her words. Finally, she turns to Y/n, this time being the one to pull her attention away from the window to look at her. Her eyebrows raise in question, a small grin tugging at her lips.

"Same with you?"

Y/n's head tilts subconsciously to the side in question.

"What do you mean?"

"With Will? It'll be better when you see him?"

El grinned when Y/n broke away her gaze in a nervous laugh, her ears, and neck beginning to burn.

The two fell into shushed fits of laughter that would sneak back up on them for the rest of the ride. And as the two sat together, continuously feeding into one another's laughter, a warm thought crossed El's mind.

El wasn't quite used to this mood she was in. The mood Y/n had been bringing out in her lately since things had quieted down. It was a giddy and mischievous, light-hearted banter that always cropped up when she felt most relaxed. But she quite enjoyed it, and the feeling it brought to her chest.

El supposed this was what it felt like to have a sister, that this was what it meant. And she enjoyed it immensely.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Steve's car comes to a gradual halt in front of Hawkins middle, a less than eager Dustin in the passenger seat. He had to say he was quite impressed with the kid's technique, he did okay on the hair in his opinion.

"All right, buddy, here we are."

Dustin's eyes are fixed on the propped open entrance to the school where they were taking tickets and his stomach flutters. He takes a long and shaky deep breath.

"So, remember, once you get in there..."

Dustin looks to his friend and nods, affirmatively. "Pretend like I don't care."

"You don't care,"

"I don't care,"

"There you go," Steve chirps. "You're learning, my friend. You're learning."

Dustin nods as if psyching himself up and he eagerly reaches for the review mirror to check his reflection. Wounded at Dustin's self-doubt, Steve frowns, pulling the boy's hand away from the mirror with a gentle voice.

"Hey,"

"What?"

"Come on. You look great, okay? You look," He says, readjusting the mirror and turning to Dustin, giving him an okay sign. "You look great,"

"Okay? Now you're gonna go in there..."

"Yeah,"

"Look like a million bucks," he continues, matter of factly.

"Yeah!"

"And you're gonna slay 'em dead."

Dustin nods, feeling his excitement - and confidence - build at Steve's reassuring words.

"Like a lion." He adds.

He draws back his lips and rolls his tongue in his signature purr. Steve bites back a wince and says as gently as possible. "Yeah, don't do that, okay?"

"Okay," he nods.

Steve sticks out his left palm in gesture, and Dustin takes it happily giving it a firm shake.

"Good luck."

Dustin nods in thanks and exits the car with a blooming sense of pride. Unknowingly, Steve lingers behind assuring he gets in safely, a proud smile tugging at his lips.

When Dustin enters, he takes one swift deep breath expelling the creeping anxieties. He makes his way to the ticket table that Mr. Clarke manages. The teacher in question looks up from his clipboard and smirks.

"Looking very snazzy tonight, sir."

Dustin nods proudly. "Thank you, m'lord."

Dustin drops his ticket into the bowl as Mr. Clarke jots down his name. Steve watches happily from the car, and without his permission, his eyes drift past the young Henderson boy and through the gym doors windows. He can make out Nancy at the punch bowl near the entrance. Her hair is up in curls and on her face is her usual warm smile as she passes out punch to kids.

He feels a tug at his heart at the sight, wishing more than anything things had gone differently between them. But the words exchanged between that one night, ring in his ears. And yet he does not regret them.

Steve knew as he looked at her now, things had worked out for the best. She seemed truly happy, and in the end, that's all he ever wanted for her. A bittersweet look crosses his features as he silently says goodbye to his first love, and quietly he takes off into the night.

Dustin enters the gym, a new rush of excitement overpowering him as he sees the gym transformed. Curtains of silver, and flowing streamers hung in the center stretching out over the center of the gym in a beautiful canopy. The entrance he walked through was lined with three large balloon archways and several soft twinkle lights dangled from the ceiling and walls like stars. And at the very edge of the canopy, was the large glittery letters that hung before it; 'Snow Ball'.

It was surprisingly breathtaking for a small, middle school dance but it was still appreciated. Another deep breath leaves his chest before he stalks forward to tackle the task at hand; finding the rest of the party amongst the crowd. As he passes the punch table, he sends a smirk and a quick salute to the young woman behind it.

"Hey, Nance,"

"Hey," she smiles back.

As the ladle sinks once more into the punch bowl, collecting the contents for the next cup, a young boy approaches the table.

"What's in this?" He asks curiously.

A wistful smirk flickers across her face as she hands him the filled cup. "Pure fuel."

He stalks off with a curious look into his cup, and Nancy takes a moment to rest her arms against the table. Her eyes travel across the gym at the younger kids having fun, and it reminds her of simpler times. She stops when she sees a group of kids at the photo arch, smiling wide as they pose for a photo. The camera flashes and they wander off as Jonathan prepares the next shot. He feels a pair of eyes on him, and he glances over his shoulder to find Nancy.

The two smile warmly at one another, a small but noticeable spark deep in their chests.

Dustin approaches his friends with a grin and enters with a showy twirl, excited to show off his new do. His heart sinks when he's met with several chuckles. Mike even jumped up from his seat, wide-eyed.

"Holy shit, what happened to you?"

His friends circle around him, each of them failing to fight back a smirk.

"What do you mean, what happened?"

"What?" Mike asks bewildered.

"Dude--" Lucas begins, only to be cut off by Max.

"-Your hair!"

Lucas steps forward with a mischievous smirk, his hand reaching up to prod at his friend's styled hair. "Is there a bird nesting in there?"

Dustin pulls away, throwing Lucas's hand away from his head. His eyes dart back and forth between his four giggling friends and whines.

"No, what do you mean, 'what's wrong'?" He glares at Lucas. "There's no bird nesting in here, asshole. Okay?"

Dustin subconsciously pats his work, assuring not a single hair had gone astray. "I worked hard."

Everyone's attention is pulled to the dance floor at the newest song change. Quickly recognizable as Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time blasts through the gym's speakers, they all watch as kids all across the gym pair up for the first slow dance of the night.

Lucas takes a deep breath and turns excitedly to Max.

"Max..." she turns to see him grinning nervously at her. "Um, it's nice, right?"

He looks around at the room, gesturing to the song. A wide and bemused smile breaks out on her face as he continues to stumble. All the while, a deflated Dustin watches the exchange.

"Um, you wanna like, you know...?" Lucas gestures between himself and Max, a hopeful look on his face. "Like, just... you and me?"

"Are you trying to ask me to dance, stalker?"

His face falls as he begins to panic. "Um, no...? Of course not."

The expression breaks when he notices the great look of amusement on her face, and he perks a bit.

"Unless you want to?"

Max sighs despite her grin, interlocking her hand with his own and she shakes her head.

"So~ smooth," she chides lightly, pulling him onto the dance floor. "Come on,"

The three remaining boys stand awkwardly watching off to the side, a bit unsure of what to do. This feeling only worsens for Will when he hears the dreaded nickname he had been itching to escape since the moment he was tagged.

"Hey, Zombie Boy,"

His eyes are pulled to a girl he recognized from class approaching him. She offers a small smile.

"Wanna dance?"

A pit forms in his stomach at the unexpected obstacle. He was nervous enough building himself up to ask Y/n. Just thinking about seeing her soon sent his heart aflutter in the best way possible, but this was not something he could have possibly anticipated. Or asked for.

He gulps, unexpectedly swallowing a large ball of saliva as he begins to panic. His words come out in a panicked stutter.

"I- Well, I, uh... I'm-"

His eyes dart quickly between Dustin and Mike, silently asking for help but he only finds expectant - and a slightly threatening on Dustin's part - expressions. Dustin elbows him lightly and Will clears his throat, collecting his breath.

"Thanks," he mutters with a polite smile, slowly gathering courage. "But, I'm waiting for someone. Sorry..."

She smiles, nodding. "No worries,"

Her eyes catch a familiar face across the room. She sends one more polite smile at Will and the others before departing towards her friend. The three friends stand rooted to the floor as an awkward silence hangs in the air. Mike looks down at Will, his eyebrows shooting up weakly in a surprised manner.

Upon seeing this, Will scoffs nervously, both of their eyes returning to the entrance as they wait. Unbeknownst to them, Dustin's eyes sweep across the gym at all the new couples, starting with Max and Lucas. He can't deny the pang he felt in his chest, but he also wasn't surprised at the turn of events. It was something he had seen coming for a while.

Instead, he scans the gym and he smiles to himself when he sees his classmate Stacy across the room. She was laughing amongst a group of her friends.

Dustin tugs at his blazer readjusting it and lets out a puff of air grabbing Will and Mike's attention. He turns to them.

"Wish me luck, gentlemen." He nods in the girl's direction with a confident simper. "I'm going in."

Dustin sends his friends a wink and a click of his tongue before marching onto the battlefield. Will and Mike watch taken aback, turning to one another as they share a bemused look.

The closer Dustin grows the more intense his heart beats, but he embraces it, Steve's words still ringing clearly in his ears. When he apparatuses the group and she doesn't seem to notice, he brushes it off at first. She was deep in conversation.

"Stacy?"

Her conversation continues without skipping a beat.

"He just broke up with Jennifer."

Her eyes bug out slightly as she continues, shaking her head a bit in disgust.

"Plus he's, like, not my type." She laughs.

Dustin clears his throat as politely as he can, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

"Stacy?"

Finally, she breaks away from her conversation, clearly filled with great agitation. Her eyes widen when she spots his hair, not bothering to hide her distaste.

"Yeah?" She spits.

Dustin brushes it off in the moment, clears his throat, and bows his head as he gently extends his right hand out to her. He sends her a warm and charming smile.

"Shall we?"

Her eyes bug out once more, a chuckle leaving her lips.

"Um, no, thanks," she scoffs, voice dripping with sarcasm.

The girls around her burst into fits of laughter, and she joins them. Together, the pack of girls stride off, still overwhelmed with laughter as they begin talking about Dustin. None of them bothered to wait until he was out of earshot.

He watches sullenly as they disappear through the crowd, and he tries his best to stamp down the aching in his chest. He allows himself to perk a bit when he spots two other girls chatting quietly off to the side looking rather bored.

Dustin begins making his way towards them, but it isn't long before he halts in his path. Upon seeing him, they quickly whispered back and forth between one another before promptly scurrying.

He blinks several times, trying to keep the tears that threaten to spill at bay. He looks around the gym, heart sinking completely when he finds everyone in pairs. Everyone except himself.

He was completely alone.

Gifted with a small lull in which there was no punch to serve, Nancy's gaze sweeps the dancefloor. Her jovial composure fades almost instantly when she spots a lost and wounded Dustin planted on the sidelines. His shoulders sag and his lip begins to quiver as he searches the crowd sadly. Not a moment later does he slink off, disappearing behind the curtain of streamers.

The sight is enough to send a crack through her heart.

Dustin sits on the bleachers, his hands tucked into his lap as he invests all his energy into suppressing his sobs. His bottom lip quivered with intensity and a rather large tear he had been holding back finally broke free, gliding down his cheek.

It takes far too long in his taste for him to register the figure approaching is heading for him. Nancy pulls back the streamer curtain and offers him a gentle smile.

"Hey,"

He straightened immediately, swiping furiously at his cheeks as he tries to get rid of the evidence.

"Hey," he sniffles.

"Wanna dance?" She asks, offering her right hand.

He looks up at her in shock, his wide eyes still glassy. "What?"

"Come on," she grabs his hand, pulling him up to his feet and through the veil of streamers. "Let's go,"

He looks around bewildered as he finds himself pulled to the dancefloor. But already he can feel himself perking, and he smiles weakly at Nancy, not exactly knowing what to do now.

As if reading his mind, she smiles, grabbing his hands and gently placing them in her waist. "Here,"

He freezes, still not quite believing what is unfolding. She places her palms on his shoulders and he smiles wistfully. A wide smile plasters Nancy's face when she notes his distance, and she tries to reassure him.

"Closer,"

He stumbles forward a few inches, his eyes on her still wide and moonstruck.

"A little closer," she assures, smirking fully now. "Okay,"

Dustin's chest swells at her kind smile, and already he can feel his confidence returning. Both of them have yet to notice the spiteful glares being sent their way from Stacy and her friends.

"Now feel the music," he head sways gently with the beat. "The rhythm. Start to move to it."

Dustin's feet finally receive his brain's commands, and they begin to shuffle slowly as the dance begins. Nancy nods, eagerly.

"Yeah," she chirps, brightening his grin. "There."

"Good?" He asks hopefully.

She nods.

"That's good. Yeah."

"Okay,"

"You know," she begins. "Out of all my brother's friends, you're my favorite."

His grin stretches from ear to ear, his chest swelling once more in pride.

"You've always been my favorite."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nods, her own heart-swelling seeing him happy again.

The distant sound of murmuring brings Nancy's attention across the room, where she spots a pack of perturbed girls. One brunette in particular, who stood at the center with a flustered glare fixed on Nancy. Upon being caught, she blinks rapidly trying to brush it off and looks away.

Dustin's eyes follow Nancy's, and that's when she returns her attention back to Dustin.

"Girls this age are," she rolls her eyes quickly. "dumb. But give them a few years, and they'll wise up. And, uh,"

Nancy softens when she notes Dustin is still beaming at her, hanging on her every word.

"you're gonna drive 'em nuts."

"You think so?" He asks hopefully.

She nods, a series expression befell her briefly. "Oh, I know so."

The two fall into a comfortable silence as they enjoy one another's company, and the music that fills their ears and sways their bodies.

Just across the room, still sat glumly at their table as they wait - and hope - are Will and Mike. They look around the room at all the dancing couples, and all they wish for is the sight of the two party members who have yet to show. Other than the occasional word, they sit in silence.

Will is the first to break it with a sigh, and he sits forward in his chair before rising. Mike looks up at him, his attention snapping towards Will as his mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion.

"Everything okay?"

Will nods, forcing a smile through his nerves.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I think I'm gonna freshen up a bit though. Use the bathroom while I can."

Mike nods, less than convinced though he shoves down the thought. He merely watches with a worried frown as Will stalks off towards the back of the gym. He relaxes a bit when he sees how many times Will's eyes fly to the entrance on his way back, and he supposed the jitters were all it really was after all.

Mike sighs, slumping back into his chair and he counts the minutes as they march on.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Joyce watches as her wind carries anther fallen leaf across the pavement, and checks her watch for the thousandth time. Logically she knows the dance is far from over, but she can't bring herself to leave. A familiar gruff, but soft voice pulls her attention up.

"Hey,"

Hopper approached her with a weak smile, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Thought I might find you here," he says.

Joyce lets out a defeated breath meant to be a laugh, her body leaning against her green Ford Pinto.

"Will wanted me to give him some space, so..." she shrugs, and a small chuckle breaks loose from her chest. "I'm giving him a few feet."

Hopper pulls a pack of cigarettes that had been hiding in his pocket, gives it a small tap and he smirks at the woman.

"What d'ya say?" He opens up the lid, pulling out one of the remaining cigarettes. "I'm pretty sure that Mr. Cooper retired in the seventies, so..."

He stepped forward to join her against the hood of the car, speaking through a smirk as he lit the cigarette that dangled from his lips. "we might be okay."

He takes one long puff of the cigarette, letting the smoke sting his lungs and he passes the stick onto her. She gladly accepts, taking the next puff only to be sent into a coughing fit. They both laugh lightly, and she passes the cigarette back to Hopper with a wince. It really was like old times.

He always picked the worse brands.

His next question does not exactly surprise her, but it definitely catches her emotions off guard. Immediately she feels a large lump growing in her throat.

"How are you holding up?"

She shakes her head, eyes falling back to the concrete as she nibbles at her nail.

"Ya know," She mumbles.

"Yeah, I mean," he nods, tsking another drag of the cigarette. "that feeling never goes away. But it is true what they say, you know..."

Joyce looks up at the man that towers over her, he holds the bud in his hands with a frown before handing it back to her.

"Every day does get a little easier."

Joyce takes the cigarette in her shaky hand, taking one long puff hoping it will replace the sadness that sits on her heart. But when the smoke leaves her lips the weight remains, and she finds it growing even heavier as the memory engulfs her once more. Her head grows heavy and dangles off her shoulders and into Hopper's side.

He can feel his heart lurch at her sadness, wanting nothing more than to take it all away. But he knows more than anything that healing took time. Instead, the two remained locked in one another's embrace. They feel the breeze carry the snippy winter air over their bodies unaffected in each other's warmth.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Y/n Henderson! I thought that was you,"

"Hey, Mr. Clarke,"

El timidly follows Y/n to the table with the familiar man who she almost immediately recognized. El watched silently from Y/n's side as she placed the bright red ticket in a glass bowl on the table. El froze suddenly when Mr. Clarke suddenly addressed her.

"Well, hello there, Miss," his eyes tightened into a friendly squint, and he gestured towards her. "Have we met? You look awfully familiar."

El's eyebrows twitched upwards, her mouth parting as she looked to Y/n not quite sure what to do. Y/n quickly jumped in with a rigid smile.

"She gets that a lot, but no," she explained quickly. "This is an old friend of mine, El,"

Y/n meets eyes briefly with her friend and they share a quick smile before returning nonchalantly to Mr. Clarke, hooking their arms together.

"She's my guest for the night,"

The man nodded in understanding, clicking his tongue as Y/n handed him El's ticket along with the special form.

"Ah, well," smiling up at the pair, unknowingly giving El a strikingly similar welcome as he had the year before. "Welcome to Hawkins Middle, El. We're happy to have you."

The two look at one another before departing, the largest of grins breaking out on their face. They burst into another fit of giggles as they head for the door, leaving Mr. Clarke to shake his head and smile as he welcomes the last of the guests.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Every breath you take,"

Mike sits alone, twiddling his thumbs. A small sigh builds up in his chest as he realizes yet another song change has been made, and still no El. He wasn't mad, just worried. All he wanted was to see her. To dance with her. To hold her.

"Every move you make,"

The usual creak of the gym's wooden door rings in his ears once more, and lazily he turns to see who else had risen his spirits. But his heart stops when he sees two figures entering the gym. One of them, his long time friend who glances excitedly behind her as she beckons the other shy figure behind her.

When he realized it was really El, he jumped to his feet, unable to blink. Too afraid she would vanish in thin air. She was gorgeous. Her hair was slicked back in adorable dark curls, and the dress she wore complimented her perfectly. But none of that mattered to Mike, just her being there was enough to take his breath away.

"Every bond you break Every step you take"

The girls crept forward under the archway of balloons, their eyes sweeping across the crowd. El breathing stopped momentarily just as Mike had. Y/n noticed this and smiled. The two were locked in a wide-eyed stare across the gym, and she laughed silently to herself.

"I'll be watching you,"

Mike watched as Y/n gave her a playful nudge, urging her forward. She watched warmly as the two glid across the sidelines, coming to a gradual stop when they came face to face.

Mike shook his head, unable to rid himself of the beaming smile even if he wanted to.

"You look beautiful," he blurts.

Her gaze drops to the floor in a wild blush, a bright smile on her face to rival his. He casts one glance at the dancing pairs around them and looks back at her.

"Do you wanna dance?"

She looks around the room nervously for a moment. Her eyes wander back to Mike's, and she looks up at him shyly.

"I... don't know how." She admits.

He shrugs, much to her relief.

"I don't either. Do you want to figure it out?"

El quickly nods, feeling her heart burst when he takes her hand in his. They wander onto the dance floor together, both a nervous - but happy - blushing mess.

Y/n smiles to herself once more from the edge of the gym when she sees them disappear into the crowd. Her eyes continue to venture around the room, her heart sinking when she finds no sign of Will.

"How my poor heart aches,"

Together, El and Mike blend in with the crowd of kids when they found a spot to dance. Gently, he takes her hands and places them over his shoulders.

"Like this,"

She smiles, her hands creeping up further to rest comfortably around his neck and he nods.

"Yeah, like that,"

They chuckle lightly as they softly begin to sway, loving nothing more than being in each other's company.

"Every vow you break,"

Nancy and Dustin begin twirling further, a joyous laugh bouncing between them.

When Y/n spots them, among Lucas and Max, the smile grows smaller. Both were pleasant sights, as each pair seemed to be having endless amounts of fun. But like her brother minutes ago, she began to feel lost.

"Every smile you fake, Every claim you stake,"

Finally, she spots Jonathan off by himself, taking advantage of the lack of kids waiting to get their pictures taken to clean his camera lens. Quietly she slips over to his side.

"Jonathan?"

His head picks up, and he smiles when he sees her.

"Hey, Y/n,"

His happy composure quickly falls when he sees her worried expression.

"What's wrong?"

In the back of the gym, the door to the locker room opens and Will enters boredly. He wipes off beads of water he had missed when drying his hands. He trudges back to his spot where he left Mike, his eyes glued to the floor. His head picks up when he sees Mike is no longer there, and he scans the crowd. His eyes widen when he sees him dancing with someone, El he realized it was. His heart began beating sporadically when he realizes what this meant.

"Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace,"

Quickly, Will shuffles forward, even rising himself up onto his tiptoes as to see over the sea of heads to find her.

"I dream at night I can only see your face. I look around and it's you I can't replace,"

"Hey Will the Wise,"

There it was, the voice he had simultaneously been waiting for, and afraid of all night, rang in his ears. Her voice was gentle and equally as nervous.

He blushes at the name, until he sees her. At that moment he swears he forgot how to breathe. When she caught his gaze - and the blush that raged like wildfire on his cheeks - a small laugh escaped. Her hands were shaking but in the best way possible. Like Will, she was just happy to have found him. To be here with him finally.

"You, uh, you're,"

Her eyebrows rose as did the heat in her cheeks at his sudden stutter. And though he seemed to be at an unending loop, he couldn't wipe the grin off of his face. It spread from ear to ear as he looked at her. Finally, he cleared his throat when he decided this was not how he wanted to remember this moment. The thought alone seemed to do the trick and he shook out his nerves as best as he could and exhaled.

"You look..." he shakes his head, unable to find the proper word, but none seemed to do her justice. "amazing."

He winced a little on the inside, finding the word ill-suited for how he usually saw her. He tries once more to shake it off, and just as Lucas had, the millions of scenarios run through his on how to ask her. But before his mouth could even part to speak, she extended her hand.

A playful smile paints her lips at the cheesy words that form on her tongue, but she leans into it, happy to see the delighted and bright warm smile that breaks out on Will's face as he chuckles.

"Care to dance?"

Will feels as if his chest just might burst with the rapid speed of his heart, but he couldn't be happier. His mind jumps back to the bit of advice Jonathan had given him when helping him get ready. At the time he had thought it had been too much, but now as he looked at Y/n, the two of them wearing big goofy grins, he quickly finds himself extending his right arm for her to take.

Gladly, her arm snakes under his arm, trying her best to suppress the violent storm of butterflies raging in her stomach, not realizing Will is doing the same. The pair find themselves in the center of the gym, and shyly their hands come to wrap around one another. Gradually, they begin to sway with the music. They share the occasional giggle as their gaze falls to the floor so as to not step on one another's toes in their nervous state.

In near percent sync, the gym full of students sway with the beat of The Police's Every Breath You Take. Everyone in question can feel themselves getting lost in the beautiful, fleeting moment.

The giddy, and frivolous pair of Lucas and Max twirl with the music. Max's eyes fall briefly to Lucas's lips as he smiles down at her. She can't help but blush back up at the boy who had managed to worm his way past her walls and made her feel welcome. Finally, she pulls him forward, bringing him into a soft and sweet kiss.

"I feel so cold and I long for your embrace,"

She pulls back, smirking up at his awestruck face. He blinks slowly, trying to process what had just happened and he can no longer contain the excited grin breaking out on his face. Softly Max giggles at his reaction, and brings her head to rest on his shoulder.

"I keep crying baby, baby, please,"

El and Mike remain with eyes locked on one another, their hearts beating at dangerous speeds as they sway with one another. The first and only time their eye contact is broken is when simultaneously, their heads inch closer together until their lips meet in a fiery explosion that melts their hearts.

Even when they pull apart, they can longer stand the small distance between them. In a happy, content lull, their foreheads meet, eyes fluttering closed as they lose themselves in the music.

"How my poor heart aches, with every step you take,"

At the very heart of the Snow Ball, Y/n's gaze mingles properly with Will's for the first time since they started dancing, and immediately her skin flushes. Heat resides the most in her cheeks and the tips of her ears and even the back of her neck. Will was her best friend in the whole world, the one she could always confide in and felt most comfortable around. But now she could hardly look at him without melting into a puddle. The way he treated her, just the way he looked at her now set her heart aflutter.

"Every move you make and every vow you break,"

They had been turning numbly in circles, and all she could do to take her mind off of her nerves was to put all her attention into commanding her feet. And yet, anytime she dares steal a glance at him, and feared he'd grow annoyed, he would just be smiling at her. It was a smile of genuine admiration, and it was as if he was silently telling her, 'it's okay. I'm nervous, too,'.

"Every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I'll be watching you,"

Her anxieties began to tell her to look away again, but now as she found herself looking into his kind hazel eyes, she couldn't bear to pull herself away. Y/n is quickly reminded of the dark times just one month ago. How awful it had been to look into these eyes and see nothing but hatred and darkness. But strangely, it assured only further now. These were the kind eyes that had always admired her from afar. These were the kind eyes she had missed so much.

"Every smile you fake, every claim you stake,"

The way he had always felt about her was undeniable, and as she felt the warmth brewing in her chest, spreading to her stomach and even dizzying her head, she knew she felt it too. She wondered why it had taken so long to get there, but more than anything she knew she wanted to hold onto it. What he had felt all these years.

Simultaneously, their smiles melted away, the blood pumping fast through their veins. Will and Y/n both felt it, the unbreakable magnetic pull that drew them towards one another. The closer they grew the quicker their racing hearts blended closer into one sporadic heartbeat. Finally, their lips met in a tender kiss as the music swelled around them. Will tried desperately not let his knees buckle, his stomach doing flips. It felt as if a firecracker had went off inside of Y/n's stomach, the warmth in her chest exploded and spread all the way to her fingertips, unknowingly her hands and arms warming his shoulders.

The kiss had lasted seconds but felt like a lifetime in the best way possible. It was a kiss that still lingered on their lips when they broke apart, a feeling they never wanted to let go of. The pair broke out into matching grins that neither one of them could contain. Finally, they were together.

"I'll be watching you,"

Finally, they were happy. And they would be, in the many months to follow.

"I'll be watching you,"

The four young pairs - even Dustin and Nancy who happily bounced their heads along to the rhythm of the beat - danced long into the night. The music from the speakers blasting through the gym, and echoing out into the cold December night.

"Every breath you take and every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take"

Each and every one of them blissfully unaware of the greatest threat Hawkins had ever known, towering above their heads in the Upside Down.

Watching.

I'll be watching you.

Waiting.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

More helpful links for the Black Lives Matter movement. Please don't ever stop fighting!!

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Petitions That Still Haven't Met Their Goals

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[Link]

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[Link]

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 3 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 ✨| chapter 1 2

A/N: hi! I hope you like this new chapter as it goes deeper on the feels™️ I really wanted to give the characters more background (and a little bit of angst whoops) and finally, there are new names dropping yay! Again, there’s a time skip of two years this time. Enjoy & thanks for reading <3

-3-

When Priyanka turned fifteen, she discovered new things she loved. She loved dying the tips of her hair with bright colors every two weeks and a half, she loved skateboarding, she loved being the center of attention and a little bit of a class-clown at school, she loved hanging out with her group of friends, she loved the phone calls with Lemon to catch up and talk shit about everyone…

“Okay, can you hear me now?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s better.”

Priyanka peeped through the hallway hoping no one would decide to interrupt them. She nervously removed the shiny red nail polish with her teeth as they tried to re-connect, if her mother saw her she would’ve scolded her on the spot. The landline phone was solid red plastic with buttons and wires, it was age-worn but at least it wasn��t like her grandparent’s phone with the rotary dial system or it would take hours to get all those area code numbers correct and get Lemon on the other side.

“Thank God. I’m literally inside the closet just like in The Parent Trap. I told my mom I was calling my grandma because last time our phone bill had several zeroes.”

Priyanka chortled and entangled the curly wire with his fingertips. “Sorry about that… so, you were saying… about the audition?”

“Oh, right! I’m trying to get into this dance academy that’s supposed to be the best of the best and the audition waiting list is a nightmare… but they called me the other day and said I’ll have shot in two weeks.”

“Oh. My. God. Lemon that’s awesome!”

“I know! I feel it, Pri. I know I can do it but… I don’t want to assume anything until I get there. I’m confident in my skills but what if they perceive that confidence as cockiness or something like that. I was talking to Jan the other day and she said-”

“Wait, who’s Jan?” Priyanka frowned before the unfamiliar name.

“Jan. Jan! My friend Jan? We have Biology and Math together, remember?”

“I don’t think I’ve heard her name before.”

“I’m sure I have mentioned her… anyway. Jan is madly talented –like, she can sing- and she auditioned for music school like a year ago and told me that…”

Jan. She hadn’t mentioned a Jan before… it was weird for Priyanka that knew all Lemon’s New Yorker friends’ names and she was pretty sure Lemon remembered all her friends’ names as well.

“… anyway, I’ll keep my head high and hope for the best. I’m training extra hard these days to make it. My muscles are sore and I can’t feel my legs right now but hey, no pain no gain.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thank you.” She paused as if she wanted to say something else, Priyanka could hear her breathing, but then she continued chattering. “Also, my mom got promoted again and now she bought a computer I can e-mail you the day of the audition. But tell me, how are things over there? Did the girls work their differences yet?”

“You know Scarlett, she won’t shut up and-”

“Priyanka, it’s dinner time.” Her mother announced from the kitchen.

She sighed. “Shit. I have to go or my mom is going to cut the phone wires. She says this time is for real.”

“Oh, okay… I’ll call you soon then.”

“Yes, please call me right after the audition or before if you wanna talk… you know. Break a leg or whatever… make sure is figuratively speaking, please.”

She heard Lemon’s giggle on the other line and something inside her went softer.

“I will… and I will be there for Christmas this year, I made my mom promise it.”

“Fingers crossed.” She said before hanging up.

When she looked at herself in the mirror she had a silly grin on her face that couldn’t be erased.

Lemon hadn’t been back in a long year and a half. After spending the first holidays after her parents’ divorce with her dad in Canada, she had to spend the next one with her mom in the Big Apple. Plus, her father got to travel to New York quite often those days and got to see her a lot. She sometimes sent things for Priyanka with him, a nice hoodie, a makeup bag, one of those stupid tourist t-shirts with the Statue of Liberty printed on it, sometimes a pair of dangling earrings or a simple letter and a picture of her. She treasured each of those little trinkets.

Priyanka was saving money from her allowance and was hoping to get a job soon so she could buy a car someday and visit her friend in the big city, they might even go on a road trip over the summer, it was a nice thought to hold onto until they could hang out again.

On the day of Lemon’s audition, Priyanka was restless. She got kicked out of one of her classes because she kept fidgeting, twitching, moving around, and chewing gum. It drove her teachers insane. Scarlett and Kiara mocked her from the window of the classroom and then got a warning as well.

Later that day she cleaned all her room to avoid thinking. She found several pictures of her and Lemon over the years –including that one time they tried Lemon’s mom makeup for the first time, Lemon was missing her two front teeth-, there were some photos from their first days of school and even Lemon at Priyanka’s plays. She was so pissed when she got that old lady role instead of the main character but she had managed to steal the scene anyway.

As the sun was setting, she didn’t know what else to do. She did the dishes without offering resistance and then got into an argument with her little sister who wanted to watch Hannah Montana while Priyanka just wanted to watch the new episode of America’s Next Top Model. She had to admit it though, the intro of Hannah Montana was kind of catchy (something she would never admit to her sister).

It was almost quarter to nine and she still didn’t have any news. There was a two-hour time difference with New York but still… it was gnawing her from the inside.

Right when Tyra was about to reveal which model got to stay for another week, the phone rang in the hallway and she couldn’t jump out of the couch fast enough.

«You have a phone call from-» Press one to accept, yeah, yeah, she knew that.

“Lemon?” She didn’t even wait for a «hello».

“Pri? Is it you?”

The sound of her voice brought her back to life, she could hear the sound of her heart beating again.

“Yes, it’s me! How did it go?”

“Oh my God, Pri… I’m calling you from a payphone in the middle of Times Square, this is insane. The girls lend me some cash to call you.” Priyanka could hear the sound of the traffic and even some giggles coming from outside of the phone.

“And? You’re killing me here, Lemz.” She had her fingers crossed even when she couldn’t see that gesture through the call and was holding the phone against her ear with her shoulder.

“It was so difficult I thought I was never going to learn the steps I’m literally so exhausted right now but…”

But.

“I got it, I got the spot!”

Priyanka started screaming.

“Priyanka!” Her mother shouted.

“Sorry…sorry!” She covered her mouth with her hand.

Lemon was cackling.

“Lemz, I might get in so much trouble for this but… Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you.” She sounded truly happy, Priyanka wished she could see her right at that moment. “Jan, can you give me another quarter? Thanks, doll.”

That girl Jan again.

“So what are you girls are up to?”

“We’re going to get some pizza to celebrate. Jan is here as you heard, so are Goona, Rosé, Jackie… They say hi.”

“Tell them I said hi too.”

“She says hi… No, I’m not telling that, shut up…”

“What is it?”

“They are being assholes as usual… Listen, I have to go, I’m running out of coins and I still have to call my mom.”

“Okay, we’ll talk soon… I’m so happy for you… Love you.”

“Love you too! See you in a few weeks.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait.”

“Bye, Pri.”

She hung up but stood next to the phone for a moment, staring at it.

Just a few more weeks.

Priyanka kept begging her older brother to teach her how to drive. It took a few weeks of insistence until he gave up and the lessons started. They only stopped when the snow got too thick and the roads too slippery to practice. Still, by that time Priyanka was almost an expert. She needed to perfect her parking skills before turning sixteen and that would be it.

She also needed a car but that was the least important part.

“So when’s your girlfriend coming to town?” Scarlett asked.

Priyanka choked on her hot chocolate and coughed a couple of times. “Lemon’s not my girlfriend.”

Kiara rolled her eyes.

“Ah, yes, I can’t wait to finally meet her!” Juice –the latest addition to their group- said.

They were at the coffee shop, outside was freezing cold and the smell of fresh-baked pastries had dragged them inside the warm environment. Scarlett was having a black coffee while Priyanka and Kiara had their respective hot chocolate with marshmallows and Juice ordered a cappuccino with whipped cream and sprinkles on top.

“So?” Scarlett arched a brow.

“Her flight is booked for next week if the snowstorms allow them to fly.”

“I remember you two from primary school; they were joined by the hip, even before you shared diapers or something.” Kiara mocked.

“Oh, that’s right. You were in her classroom in kindergarten back when Ilona prevented everyone from playing with her.”

“That’s because Lemon spilled some paint over Ilona’s drawing… it was kids’ things. We all forgot when some random kid wet his pants or whatever.”

“And when did the crush began?”

Priyanka shot daggers at Scarlett with her eyes.

“I don’t have a crush on her. She’s literally my best friend, you guys are delusional.”

“Sure…” Kiara stirred her chocolate. “But it’s been what? Almost two years since she graced us with her presence?”

“Yeah, her parents didn’t want her to travel alone last time so her father flew to New York.”

“All jokes aside,” Scarlett changed her irksome ‘let’s pick on Priyanka’ tone for a minute. “Are you going to tell her about…?”

At the age of fifteen, Priyanka discovered she didn’t like kissing boys.

It had been at a lame party in a basement, her classmates had invited her and one of them suggested they should play seven minutes in heaven. Priyanka was about to skip it and refill her paper cup with cheap vodka and orange juice when she got dragged by the wrist and pushed into the closet with a guy from the hockey team. She suspected he had a crush on her for the longest time and this was instigated by his friends but the moment the door was locked, she panicked.

Her friends tried to get her out of there but there were a few underdeveloped brains and much muscle blocking the door. So she guessed she was doing it. The guy wasn’t that bad –she liked to believe- he told her they didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to and he was what most girls of the classroom referred to as «handsome». Priyanka shouted she was okay to calm down her friends and figured the best she could do was getting over it once and for all.

It was her first kiss.

The guy had rough lips and a slippery tongue and it was in the middle of all that smooching when his hand went under her lower back that she knew, she wasn’t enjoying it at all. She pushed the guy aside and used the back of her hand to clean her lips, she’d need some mouthwash as well. He asked if everything was okay but she was too condescending and told him that she was feeling dizzy.

The door was unlocked when he asked his friends to do it. Priyanka walked back –ashamed-to her group of friends as Kiara told them they were all disgusting and how stupid the game was. Priyanka called her brother from a phone upstairs and left soon after. For the first time, she was quiet on the way back home.

Later that night when she was laying on her bed in the darkness, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, thinking about how she was supposed to feel kissing that guy -any guy- or thinking about the fact that she wasn’t even remotely attracted to boys but mostly, thinking how she so wished that guy was someone else, how she wished that guy was a girl.

The following week at school the not-so-nice-guy had told everyone that Priyanka was basically a slut and if it wasn’t because she was so wasted, they could’ve gone to third base in that closet that very night. Priyanka wasn’t ashamed anymore, she was angry. Very angry. During lunch, she walked directly towards him and exposed him in front of everyone, not only denying the absurdity of those rumors but also stating that she would never even consider touching his small dick.

After that, Priyanka was done with guys, boys, and men in general.

She had a heart-to-heart conversation with her friends afterward but –to no one’s surprise- she ended up with the least heterosexual and most supportive group of friends in the world.

Still… she hadn’t been able to tell Lemon yet. She had tried but there was something about phone calls that didn’t help at all, she wanted to tell her in person, she wanted to see her face and know that everything was okay. And she planned to do it during her visit.

“I’ll try.” Priyanka stated, hoping the universe cooperated with her.

“Good. So you can make out under the mistletoe next.” There she was again.

“Okay, you two,” She pointed at Scarlett and Kiara. “you have to stop it or I’m going to do you guys dirty and you know I can.”

They started laughing, clearly taking Priyanka’s threaten lightly.

“That’s it! You,” She directed toward Kiara. “I have seen you drooling over Kyne the entire semester.”

Kiara went pale.

“And you two…” She turned back to Scarlett and Juice that were cackling sitting on the couch. “Yes, I’m talking to you, do you really believe I haven’t seen the way you look at each other, those stolen glances, the subtle touches? Please, is this a Jane Austen novel or what? You ain’t that smooth.”

“Hey! I didn’t say anything!” Juice protested.

Scarlett’s mouth turned into a thin line and her ears were suddenly pink colored. She murmured something Priyanka couldn’t catch but rhymed with «witch».

“Sorry girl, I warned you heads would roll and I’m not leaving any survivors if that’s what it takes.”

Scarlett put her hands up as a sign of surrender. “I respect it, you’re a bitch but I respect it.”

So that was the word she used.

Lemon would arrive at any minute now.

Her father was picking her up from the airport, they would have lunch at some fancy restaurant in the city center and then he’d drop Lemon at Priyanka’s house until sunset –that was when she had to leave again to have dinner with her relatives.

Priyanka kept moving her right leg, restless while sitting on the couch, eyes nailed on the window.

“Priyanka, take the trash out, it’s your turn.” Her mother told her casually as she directed upstairs.

“Mom!” She complained. “I’m doing important things.”

“You’re sitting on the couch.”

“My point exactly.”

Her mom gave her the glare. “Trash. Out. Now.”

She grumbled but did as asked.

Priyanka put on an extra thick coat over her jeans and knitted orange sweater, adjusted her wool socks and boots, and adventured to the exterior world of the Canadian winter wonderland. She only had to walk a few steps but she could feel her body freezing with the icy breeze. The snow was blinding white and she could hear the whistle of the wind blowing and the sound of her own teeth chattering.

She didn’t even hear the sound of the car stopping right at the entrance of her house nor the door closing or the steps.

She barely had time to turn around when an identified running person hit her like an asteroid. Lemon was small but she still got the strength to tackle Priyanka down with a hug. She didn’t even notice whether the snow was cold or not.

“Hey!” She was still down on the ground and needed to turn around once Lemon moved. “You’re here…”

The vision was dazzling. Lemon’s face, her eyes, her smile from ear to ear with full teeth showing, her blonde hair falling like a cascade over her rosy cheeks. It was as if she had been taken from an Andersen fairytale or a Tchaikovsky composition, ice queens and fairies fluttered around Priyanka’s head.

“I’m here! Can you believe it?”

She was still pretty much straddled on Priyanka, making the brunette blush and hoping she could blame it on the weather. Finally, Lemon got to stand up and helped her friend to get on her feet again.

Lemon was irretrievably tiny but there was something different about her since the last time they had seen each other. She looked less like the little girl Priyanka remembered and more like a teen pop star of the magazines they used to read with her slightly curled lighter hair, pink glossy lips, longer lashes… She was wearing a yellow sweater and a white puffy jacket with matching fake fur around the neck, corduroy pants, and cream boots. Even her glasses were stylish now.

“Wait, are you taller?” She observed.

“No, you just shrunk in the washing machine.”

Lemon elbowed her and then turned to wave at her dad that was still in the car.

“He told me he saw you in the supermarket the other day and asked what does your mom feed you with so I could get some too.”

Priyanka laughed at loud. “He got you there.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“But enough with my height, let’s go inside, I think I got snow on my socks and I don’t want to catch a cold or wait until another short person attacks me.”

“Hey, you said enough with the height.”

“No, no. I clearly said mine, not yours.”

Lemon rolled her eyes and there it was the old Lemon she knew so well, the exact dose just a little less sugary and a bit sour.

They went to Priyanka’s room, she shared it with her middle sister but she was currently busy practicing at music school with her cello for her end of the year concert, there were a few trophies, certificates, and distinctions on her side of the room meanwhile Priyanka’s was a collage of pictures with the girls, an album cover Avril Lavigne, one large poster she got from the local cinema when Spice World was brought back for a special feature and she forced her friends to watch it for the millionth time, some random doodles she did in class and of course, photos and postcards Lemon had sent to her.

The blonde smiled when she spotted a picture of them from their first day of primary school, their backpacks were bigger than them.

They removed the heavy coats, Priyanka changed her wet socks for new ones and a pair of slippers. Lemon was prying into the mess that was her desk, her fingers roaming through her school books, comic books, magazines, and scattered papers as if she tried to figure out if she still knew the owner of that space in the way she used to.

They sat on Priyanka’s bed on the nothing-like-Priyanka flowery blanket one of her aunts got her for a birthday. Priyanka’s mom dropped by to say hi and left a tray with two smoky cups of tea.

“I love your mom, she read my mind.” Lemon said, wrapping her hands around the warm porcelain.

“She’s being nice only because you’re around.” Priyanka took a sip of her tea. “I wonder if it’s a good time to tell her that I broke one of her flowerpots when I was practicing with the skateboard.”

“You’re the worst.” Lemon giggled.

“Certified. Three years in a row.”

The blonde shook her head. “Does she still make that incredible curry with potatoes?”

“Yeah, once in a while.”

“Oh my God… I tell you I’ve dreamt about it. You know I love Christina to dead but she can’t cook at all.”

Lemon, at some point after the divorce, had stopped addressing her mother as “mom” and now she called her by her first name.

“Do you remember she always made dinner with dry spaghetti and can sauce?”

“You laugh all you want but that’s my comfort food till this day.” Priyanka defended her.

“She doesn’t even cook it anymore, now we buy it all pre-cooked or already cooked. She might even forget how to boil water. Anyway, we’ve tried a thousand restaurants but I swear to you, Pri, no one can cook like your mom.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve missed one of us.”

Lemon threw a pillow at her face.

“Of course I’ve missed you, dumbass.”

They did each other’s nails, Priyanka ended up with a light blue shade Lemon had brought for her and it was allegedly the same color as Tiffany’s, and the blonde insisted she had to draw a white ribbon to make it look like the jewel’s teeny tiny boxes.

From there, Priyanka could see everything. Lemon frowning, concentrated on her task, the way she batted her lashes, her pretty eyes, the little freckles she had over her nose, the shape of her cupid bow turned into an unintentional pout… her lips.

Priyanka gulped and then Lemon caught her staring.

“What is it?” She looked for some hint in Priyanka’s face. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No… I’m just making sure you don’t fuck up the design.”

Lemon rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. I’m almost done.”

While Priyanka’s nails got dried, they talked about school, classes they liked and disliked, teachers that they loathed or loved, then about their plans after turning sixteen, Priyanka told her about the driving lessons and Lemon told her she wanted to dress up as Cher Horowitz –of course- for her birthday and by the time Priyanka started with Lemon’s nails, she was reviving her dance audition.

“I tell you, Pri, there was a moment I doubt I’d got in. It was a flash but I felt it in my stomach I thought I was going to puke and mess everything up.”

“Hey, but you didn’t. I’m sure you nailed it.”

The blonde sighed. “Still, New York is like… everything’s so fast and everyone’s competitive to the point where you can’t get distracted or someone else will go after what you have. It’s nice to be here for a change, this is the only place I can really relax. It sucks that I can only stay for a week and five of those seven days I have to visit my dad’s relatives out of town.” She met Priyanka’s eyes. “I wish I could get to spend more time with you, you know?”

Priyanka’s heart skipped a beat. At that moment what she suspected but didn’t dare to say at loud became a reality, all those corny songs from the 90’s suddenly made sense, all the movies Hollywood had sold labeled as «romance» acquired a new meaning and she finally understood what «to have butterflies in one’s stomach» really felt like.

She liked Lemon. She liked her best friend…. And she liked her a lot.

That was the reason she hadn’t been able to tell her about what happened earlier that year at the party because it wasn’t just that she wanted to kiss a girl instead of a guy, she wanted to kiss one particular girl and she was right in front of her at that very moment.

They never warned her about it, they never told her that she would live normally until the day she’d realize she could harbor such feeling inside, that one day she’d just… know.

She almost dropped the nail polish bottle over the blanket.

“Oh, careful.” Lemon grabbed it just in time. She looked at her friend with concern in her eyes. “Pri, are you okay? You look… pale.”

“What? Ah, yeah… it’s nothing. I’m recovering from a cold I caught, that’s it…” She shook her head and took a breath of air. “I’m sorry, you were saying…”

“About the dance academy,” Lemon resumed her story. “the girls think I can make it through the next three years, and then I can major in dancing, I might even get a scholarship if I do outstandingly well.”

There was something, a little detail there that wasn’t… right.

“I hope you can visit me soon, you gotta meet the girls; you’re going to love them. Rosé and Jan are also Geminis, I guess that’s why I get along with them so well. Luckily, Jan would be my roommate if she gets her scholarship as well and…”

“Roommate?” Priyanka asked.

“Yeah… for college? We’re thinking about moving in together because rents are expensive even for the smallest studio apartment advertised. It’s a nightmare.”

“But wait… what happened with the plan? Our plan?”

Lemon opened her mouth to reply and then shut it.

“You forgot about it…”

“No! You know I didn’t… but… my options are wider now, I have to think forward and… did you seriously think-?”

“Yes. I did.” Priyanka didn’t even let her finish speaking.

Her soul had been just crushed.

“Pri, that’s not what I mean. We made that promise when we were ten, things have… changed since then.”

“Maybe they have changed for you but I’m still stuck here, I’m still counting on our plans… our promises. I’m still counting on you. The only thing that has changed is you and your pompous New Yorker glamorous lifestyle.”

“Oh, so it was so easy for me, right? It’s not like I had to attend a school where I didn’t know anyone, being the new girl and sitting alone during lunchtime for months while going through my parents’ divorce… I hated it the first months, Priyanka, I really did and I swear that talking to you on the phone and dancing were the only things that kept me alive…” Her voice cracked. “It wasn’t until I met my friends that I felt like I could do it… that it wasn’t completely waste of time and that I wasn’t a totally useless person.”

“Lemon… you never said-”

There was a single sparkly tear falling down her cheek.

“Well, I hope you’re happy now. There you have it, my life isn’t a glamorous as you thought, is it?”

“It’s because that’s what you’ve told me! Maybe if you didn’t sugarcoat things I could’ve helped you…”

“And do what? And then what? You’d get tired of me with all those problems and we’d eventually drift apart. I’d become a burden for you.”

“What? Where did you get that from? Let me be your friend, that’s what friends do… they help each other during the rough times too, they tell each other things.”

“Oh, and you surely have told me everything that’s being going on here.”

Priyanka remained silent.

“I still talk with some people from school here and there… why didn’t you tell me about what happened at that party?”

“Lemon, that’s completely different…”

“Is it? Because from my perspective, it looks like we’re hiding things from each other now.”

“And breaking promises as well for what it seems.”

Lemon looked at her, she seemed hurt and it broke Priyanka’s heart to see her like that.

She wanted to reach her and hold her hand, hug her and tell her that everything was alright but at the same time, she was angry. She couldn’t have it both ways. It wasn’t fair.

Priyanka’s mother called them from downstairs; Lemon’s father was there to pick her up.

“I better go.” She grabbed her coat. “I’ll be back in five days if you want… whatever.”

She was gone before Priyanka could say something and frankly, she felt that if she opened her mouth it was going to get worse. It wasn’t until the girl left the house and she heard the car getting lost in the distance that she collapsed on her bed and started crying on the closest pillow she had.

Five days after, it was a New Year already but little had changed since they last met.

Lemon visited Priyanka’s house only to discover she wasn’t there.

“Could you please tell her I came to say goodbye?” She bit her inner cheek to contain a sob.

She had a flight to take back to New York.

Priyanka had taken the family’s car without permission and she had driven for a few hours, making sure there was no chance of their paths crossing. It was petty; she knew she was being childish avoiding her rather than talk things through and she was going to regret it and hate herself later, damn, she was going to get grounded for months but who cared? At that moment, the only thing that was on her mind was that she couldn’t see Lemon.

Not like that.

She did her wrong but she was partly right. Priyanka wasn’t being honest with her and she couldn’t tell her all the truth to restore their friendship.

She couldn’t tell her that she was gay and that she was in love with her because it would change it all.

It would destroy their friendship entirely.

Lemon would never reciprocate those stupid feelings of her.

Maybe if she put enough distance between them, those feelings would simply fade, go away, and right now, New York sounded distant enough.

If it was on her to do the hardest part for the sake of all the years they’ve been together, then she was going to do whatever it’d take.

Tears scorched her eyes.

At the age of fifteen, Priyanka loved her best friend Lemon but she also hated her.

#rpdr fanfiction #drcan #can1 #priyanka #lemon #lemon x priyanka #childhood friends #friends to lovers #lesbian au #timeskips #angst #long-distance friendship #come home to my heart #plastiquedoll #concrit welcome

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junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [ten]

Questions and Answers

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: 6935

Warnings: fluff, smut (oral [m receiving]), the odd f-bomb

A/N: wow ok hi it’s been a lil while!! i can only apologise for leaving you on that bit of a cliffhanger and say i’ve been going thru it more than usual i guess. i can’t say for sure if or when i’m gonna be back with weekly updates but i’ll let ya know! thanks for being patient and sticking with me 🖤 special shoutout to @fallingspidey for her endless support for this fic and for keeping me motivated and inspired over the last lil bit. however if there are errors in this blame her for prESSURING ME (jk don’t)

Add yourself to my taglist(s) - nb: lots of people i couldnt tag so lemme know if you changed your url or whatever!!

Updates...who’s to say...?

All in all, Tom was happy to be back at uni. It had been nice to see his family and friends (and his dog - especially his dog), but if he was honest then he'd have to say that his favourite part of his Christmas break had been talking to you. Texting, talking on the phone, Snapchats here and there - yeah, all that.

January exams were looming, so much closer and so much more daunting once New Year had come and gone, but you helped there, too. As promised, you'd helped make a revision plan for him. You claimed it was a welcome break from your own revision - which sounded truly horrific to Tom but you seemed to enjoy yourself doing it and it was actually extremely helpful, so he wasn't complaining. He was mostly sticking to it too, though admittedly he was having trouble concentrating. Everything was distracting, and nothing seemed to be going into his brain, and all too often his mind started to wander away from environmental factors on human mental and physical health and towards...well. Other things. Things that would most certainly not be on his exam. After one particularly fruitless study session, spent mostly attempting to decipher his own handwriting where he'd scribbled notes on a print out of the slides from a lecture he didn't even remember being in, you'd suggested that maybe you could study together once you were back - maybe that way you could keep each other on track. Tom had agreed, of course, but he was sceptical - if you were there he was fairly certain he'd have even more difficulty concentrating on lifestyle risk factor modification.

Tonight, though, was a designated Night Off. Tom had had to come back to uni a few days earlier than you to work (which was pointless if you asked him, no one was on campus anyway, but such is life - he just read through lecture notes [read: fucked around on his phone] in between the occasional international student or faculty member who happened to wander in), and now that you were back too you'd arranged to go over to his for the evening. After it turned out you hadn't seen any of Tom's favourite movies, you'd each made a list of five movies the other person had to watch with you, as a sort of cinematic education. Your list consisted of Fight Club (obviously), Labyrinth, Legally Blonde, Donnie Darko, and A Walk to Remember, while Tom's was Shutter Island, Se7en, Primal Fear, Tropic Thunder, and Spirited Away. The plan for tonight, then, was to order pizza, finish Fight Club, and then watch a movie from his list, and just chill together. Totally casual. Not a big deal at all.

By the time Tom had come home from work and showered (and tidied his room, changed his bedsheets, cleaned the bathroom, and tidied the living room) it was almost 7:30pm, and you had not long texted to say you were on the way and to order the pizza. That done, he'd just about decided on a playlist to put on in the background and was checking his reflection in the mirror one more time when the doorbell rang, an 'outside x' text popping up on his phone simultaneously.

Tom tossed his phone onto his bed and pulled open his bedroom door, ruffling his hair nervously. He'd had it cut just before he left home and he was still getting used to it - you'd asked to see, and when he'd sent a picture you'd said you liked it, but he was feeling a little self-conscious about it. It wasn't anything too drastic, but it was a good bit shorter than it had been before, so it was still a change.

"Hey," he smiled as he opened the door, stepping back to let you in out of the cold.

"Hi - thanks," you breathed, your words hanging in a cloud in front of you as you stepped over the threshold. " s'fucking freezing."

"You can just...yeah." Tom pointed to his room, shutting the door behind you once you'd squeezed past him with a small smile.

You left the fresh, almost metallic smell of the cold outdoors in your wake as you dropped your bag by the door, sitting yourself down on the end of his bed and toeing off your boots as Tom followed you into his room. You were mumbling something about how much colder it was here than it was in your hometown - or maybe it was the other way around -- he had kind of stopped listening when you shrugged out of your coat and he realised you were wearing his hoodie underneath it. He'd been pretty sure he'd seen it on you in some of the Snaps and pictures you'd sent over Christmas, but he hadn't been certain and hadn't wanted to ask just in case it wasn't it. He was sure now though, that was definitely his hoodie that you were readjusting around your shoulders, sorting out the hood where it had gotten caught on your coat. Cool.

You'd talked so much over the past few weeks that Tom had kind of forgotten he hadn't actually spent that much time with you physically - like, texting and speaking on the phone now wasn't a big deal at all, there was next to no nervousness or awkwardness about what to say, but in person? In person, it was a little different, so he stayed over by the door, waiting to see what you would do next. You seemed to do the same thing, though, looking over at him expectantly after placing your coat neatly on top of your bag, and it occurred to him then that it was his house, so he should probably lead the way.

"So uh, it said it'd be about an hour before Dominos gets here - I guess they're busy..." he trailed off, but you just nodded so he figured he'd better say something else. "Do you wanna go in the living room or, uh, stay in here - no one's home, so's up to you."

"I'm good wherever," you shrugged, shuffling back a bit on the bed and twisting to face him as he moved further into the room. "Let's see your new hair then."

Tom chuckled as he sat down, the sound catching in his throat when you reached out to touch his cheek. Your hand was cold against his skin, gently tilting his head to the side to properly inspect his haircut under the ceiling light. He watched your face as you looked him over, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips when he caught your eye.

Your nails scratched his scalp softly as you ran your fingers through the back of his hair, the hairs just long enough to poke up between your fingers as they travelled upwards until they reached his crown. The top of his hair was longer, still long enough to start to curl if left untamed by product, as it was now. Tom had to fight to keep his eyes open as your fingers worked their way through his hair, getting warmer by the second and grazing across his skin every now and then. It wasn't too hard though, he just focused on you instead, your face so close that he could see every detail in your face - even if he couldn't quite read your expression.

You hummed to yourself thoughtfully, pushing his fringe back into place.

"Well, what's the verdict?"

"Yeah." You fiddled with the pieces by his ears, your head tilting to the side as your fingers smoothed the hair against his temples. Your eyes flicked to his face and back to his hair before you nodded, nibbling gently on your lower lip, slightly glossy with lip balm, and, if Tom remembered correctly, soft and warm and pliable and--

"Yeah, I like it," you announced, and it took Tom longer than it should have to work out what you were even talking about, his mind already several steps away from his haircut. "Suits you."

"Thanks."

You leant towards him as if you had read his mind, your fingers carding through his hair again as you angled your face to his. Tom just caught your eyes drifting shut before he mirrored you, your hands on the back of his neck bringing him closer until his lips met yours.

It was only when one of your hands moved to his cheek that he remembered that he, too, had hands - two of them, in fact - and that right now they were sitting uselessly in his lap. He remedied that quickly enough, one hand going on to the bed to support his weight as he leant into the kiss, the other coming to cup your face. It all became a bit of a blur then - your tongue dancing with his, him shuffling backwards on the bed as you shifted closer, his hands moving to your hips to support you as you climbed into his lap. Tom felt you giggle into the kiss when you both fell back onto the bed, but you didn't break apart; your fingers twisting tighter into his hair. His hands left your hips, roaming your body instead — your thighs either side of his hips, your ass where it rested on his lap, your waist — anywhere he could reach, really. He'd just slid his hands under the hem of your t shirt and over your back, his fingers just brushing over the band of your bra when you finally broke apart to breathe, your lips leaving his with a wet pop.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Tom hummed in response to the words you murmured against his cheek - he'd probably have said yes to literally anything you asked just then, if he was honest.

"Just..., uh-"

You pulled back a little, your hands leaving his hair and pressing into the mattress either side of his head to support your weight instead. Tom lowered his hands back down to your hips, blinking up at you as you sat up.

"What's up?"

"How many...um, like, what's your...ugh-" you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head like you were trying to physically dispel a thought from your mind before moving to lean over him once more. "Never mind, doesn't matter."

Something about your voice and the look on your face told him it did matter, though, the weight of unasked questions hanging heavy in the air between you. He kind of knew what you were asking but he wasn't 100% sure, so despite parts of him screaming for him to leave it for now, instead of angling his face to yours, Tom tilted his head away from you.

"No, go on. What did you wanna ask?"

He propped himself up on his elbows as you picked at your fingers, his hands dropping from your hips to rest atop your thighs.

"Just like...who...like, have you, you know-"

"How many people have I slept with?"

You nodded, glancing up at him for a second before returning your attention to your cuticles.

"Uh, three, I guess?"

You nodded again before tilting your head to the side, shifting your attention from your right ring finger to your left thumb.

"And were they like...girlfriends...? Or, I dunno, you know..."

Your gaze was fixed so intently on your hands that Tom couldn't help but look at them too, though he wasn't really thinking about them at all. He was more confused about why you were asking about this now, and he couldn't really gauge your reaction to his 'number' - did you think that three was too many or not enough? And did you want them to be girlfriends, or not? It was all too much to think about all at once, so he decided it was probably safest to just tell the truth.

"One was, yeah; one was sort of a one-time-thing, and uh, the other one's you, so..." he trailed off, not quite sure where to categorise you.

"Oh. Cool."

Cool? What does that mean????

You took a deep breath in and opened your mouth like you were about to say something else, maybe ask a follow up question, but then your shoulders slumped and you went silent.

"Go on, what were you gonna say?"

"So like-" you began, sniffing as you turned your attention back to your ring finger, rubbing at a pen mark on your knuckle this time instead of picking at your nail bed. "Are you still like, friends with her? Your ex, I mean."

"I guess? I mean we don't really talk or anything but I saw her over Christmas when we all went out..." Tom's brain ticktickticked away as he talked, still not sure where you were going with this - until it clicked. "Oh did you see her on Instagram or something?"

Tom's insides felt weird as he said it, his tummy going all squiggly - until you nodded, and it flipped over altogether. He had noticed you had been a bit quieter when he spoke to you the day after Boxing Day, but he'd figured it was just because of that Post-Christmas Emptiness everyone gets, plus maybe you were irritated that he'd been drunk texting you while you were studying, and then you kind of went back to normal again and he forgot about it. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe you were...jealous?

"I wasn't like, stalking or anything, I was just - I saw people tagged on your story and I was bored so I was just, I dunno, browsing, and I saw a picture of you on her page and I..." You rambled, your words skipping each other in their rush to get out. "I, yeah, I dunno why I even brought it up. Sorry, it's none of my business I—"

"It's cool," Tom cut you off then, sitting up properly because it was kind of distracting having you shifting about on top of him while you were having this conversation.

You got the hint, shifting off of him and sitting cross-legged opposite him while he scooted back until he was leaning back against the wall at the head of his bed.

"Yeah, I mean-" he started, not really sure where to begin. "She, we - Kim, and me, we were friends at school and then I guess we were together for like, a year or so? Then we both went to uni and it just kind of...fizzled out? Didn't see each other a lot and by Christmas we'd kind of realised neither of us really minded so we just kinda called it quits."

It was weird to talk about, sure, but not exactly bad. It wasn't a difficult breakup, and, as far as he knew anyway, they were both kind of ambivalent about it. They'd had a good time together, and he supposed he did love her in the way that you do love someone when you're 17 and they're your first real anything, but they grew apart as a couple and it was just kind of...fine. Honestly, he hadn't even thought about her in a while.

You'd nodded along as Tom talked, humming thoughtfully when he finished.

"Is that not weird? Hanging out as friends after you were...more?"

Your tone shifted back towards normal, that hint of nervousness fading away and your head tilting to the side curiously.

"Not really?" Tom shrugged, trying to cast his mind back. "At first it was, I suppose. Like last summer - the first couple of times we saw each other were kind of awkward but nah," he shook his head. "Not really. Just kinda went back to how it was before - kinda had to, like we have all the same friends, you know?"

You nodded once slowly, like you were considering it, then again quicker and more decisively.

"Fair enough."

You reached out and started playing with his sleeve, your fingers grazing over his wrist. The heaviness in the air had lifted, your face relaxed as your eyes focused on the ribbed cuff of his sweatshirt beneath your fingers. Tom's flicked back and forth between the two, keeping them on your face a little longer each time.

"What about the other person?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Tom mumbled, his brain taking a moment to catch up with what you were talking about. "I had this one weird Tinder date not long after we broke up."

You laughed, glancing up at him as you fiddled with his fingers. "Weird, how?"

Sighing, he flipped his hand over that so his palm faced upwards, both of you looking at your hands as he spoke.

"I mean the date was fine, you know, like it went well-"

"Very well, if they're on the list?" you chuckled.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, right?" Tom laughed dryly. "But it turned out that she, um, she was kind of in this open relationship where they were both allowed to see other people - but only once?"

You stopped playing with his fingers, looking over at him instead.

"Oh?"

"Yeah...I dunno, like..."

Tom mumbled under his breath as his brain stumbled over the words, trying and failing to find the right ones. Somehow this was more awkward to talk about than his actual relationship. Maybe because that made sense, at least to him, whereas this still had him pretty baffled.

He didn't know if it was just because it has been his first time putting himself back out there and it hadn't gone to plan, or if it was because he really had thought the girl was into him and it turned out he was wrong, but either way the experience had knocked his confidence. It sounded stupid, really, it shouldn't have been a big deal - people have one night stands all the time, right? So what if nothing else happened and it didn't lead to anything more. Perhaps he'd been naive to think it would have, perhaps that was all on him. He didn't think he was, though - it wasn't like they'd met drunk in a club and ended up going home together; they'd been texting for a while before they met up in person. They'd had time to get to know each other a bit - and more than enough time for her to mention that, you know, 'hey, I'm seeing someone so this is just a one-time-only just-sex thing'. Maybe it was just the ambiguity of it all that he didn't like, maybe if she had mentioned it beforehand then maybe he would have still gone ahead with it and he wouldn't feel so weird about it.

As it was though, he did feel weird about it, and he'd never really told anyone what actually happened before, so he was struggling for words a little bit. He looked up when you started tracing the lines of his palm with your fingertip, though - it tickled a bit, but it was enough of a distraction that he was able to formulate a sentence.

"Yeah so we like, went for a drink or whatever and...yeah. And then when I texted her a few days later or whatever she was just like 'yeah no so here's the thing'..." he shrugged, leaving the explanation at that - that was all he knew, really, anyway.

"What the fuck?" You chuckled incredulously. "Surely that's the kind of thing you tell someone going into it, like 'hey, heads up-' kinda thing?"

Tom just nodded, sighing.

"But yeah, anyway, so that was that I guess."

He twisted his wrist so that your palms were pressed together, fingers interlocked, and gave a gentle squeeze. You gave him a small smile, and he hoped that meant you interpreted what he was trying to say without actually saying it: that he didn't really want to talk about it anymore, but that he didn't mind that you asked - he understood the need for clarity all too well. He wanted to ask you about your past experiences - boyfriends, girlfriends, anything - but he figured if you wanted to tell him, then you would. So, he changed the subject slightly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

You hummed and nodded as you let go of his hand, moving to reposition yourself.

"Do you have a three date rule?"

"Do I have a what?" you looked at him quizzically as you uncrossed your legs, moving to they were tucked underneath you and to the side, leaning your body against his outstretched legs.

"I dunno, I saw it in a movie I think. Like, some girls won't sleep with someone until the third date..."

Saying it out loud it sounded pretty stupid, but he'd said it now. He kind of wished he hadn't though because it sounded like he was saying 'why didn't you sleep with me?!', and that really wasn't what he meant, but then you started to laugh.

"Oh no - I uh. Before...I was...on."

"Oh..." he nodded slowly, his mouth gaping and eyes widening once he actually understood what you were saying. "Oh!"

You're such a fucking idiot, mate.

"Yeah...so...sorry."

"It's okay!" he laughed quickly. "I wasn't - I didn't mean - obviously you didn't have to, you don't have to-"

You silenced him then with a hand on his thigh, your face softening as your laugh faded to a shy smile.

"I know what you meant. I wanted to - I mean I, I want to."

"Cool."

That settled that, then. Tom just nodded as he leant forward, bending his knee up as he reached out to cup your cheek. Your hand lingered on his thigh, the other coming to touch his neck as he kissed you. You leaned closer, into the kiss - or, at least, that's what he thought you were doing, so he did too - but then your mouths bumped together a bit more forcefully than intended and it turned out you were actually getting to your knees.

"Sorry," you giggled against his lips, pressing a soothing kiss to the spot where your teeth had grazed his lip slightly. Tom breathed out a laugh in reply as you pecked your way along his jaw and onto his neck, your breath hot on his skin — until it wasn't anymore.

"Wait, three dates?" You sat back on your heels, looking at him with a curious smile on your face.

Dammit.

"Oh, um, I mean," - so embarrassing, Jesus - "If you count the, uh-"

"-the library?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, feeling his face getting hotter by the second.

But then you smiled, a toothy grin that broke into a giggle as you shook your head.

"You're so cute."

Unfortunately - or fortunately, depending how he looked at it - Tom didn't have time to say something incredibly cheesy like 'no you're so cute' because your lips were already back on his, both of your hands holding his face firmly.

He could feel you shuffling closer, so Tom let his body slip down the bed as you kissed, your hands on his cheeks keeping him close while his hands slipped inside your open hoodie to grasp at the sides of your t shirt to pull you on top of him. Your thighs straddling his hips, warmth flooded his body wherever you touched him, his hands wandering over your hips and thighs as your tongue explored his mouth delicately.

By the time you shrugged out of your hoodie he was properly hard - he had kind of been getting there before and it hadn't really gone away which was a little awkward but it was full-on now, pressing against your thigh through his jeans. Plus the way you were shifting about on top of him trying to get your hands out of the sleeves without breaking the kiss wasn't exactly helping. Your lips stilled against his for a second as you struggled but you got there at last, tossing the hoodie aside and onto the floor. Tom expected your hands to return to their usual position in his hair, but they didn't. Instead they pressed into the mattress either side of his ribs, your lips leaving his with a wet smack as you got to your hands and knees.

You crawled backwards down the bed, Tom's hands falling to his sides once your waist was finally out of his reach. He watched you press kisses to his abdomen, a strip of his skin exposed where his shirt had ridden up. He tensed his abs involuntarily (okay, maybe a little bit voluntarily) when you pushed it up further, glancing up at him as if asking permission before undoing the top button of his jeans.

Tom bit his lip as he lifted his hips, tucking his thumbs under the waistband to help you push his jeans down to his knees. Your hands rested on his hips as you repositioned yourself back over him, your thumbs moving in slow circles in a gentle massage. His jaw tensed when the edge of one of your thumbs just grazed his balls through the cotton of his boxers, tenting over his hard cock. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he watched you lean down and scatter yet more kisses across his torso, sending butterflies and shockwaves and every-other-cliche-in-the-fucking-book shooting through him. You pushed his t shirt up further, your kisses travelling back down over his stomach until you were hovering tantalisingly over his cock, fingers poised at the waistband on his boxers as you looked up at him again.

"Can I...?" you murmured, the warmth of your breath spreading through the thin material.

Tom just nodded and made a noise he wasn't entirely sure was comprehensible, but you seemed to get the gist, pulling his boxers down and continuing your trail of kisses over his hip.

He tried to control his breathing as he watched you intently, getting closer and closer to his cock until you finally tilted your head and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the side of his shaft. He grunted at the feeling, your tongue warm and wet and firm on his skin as you worked your way up towards the head. Once you reached the top, though, instead of taking him into your mouth like he so desperately wanted you to, you just let your breath ghost over his sensitive skin before leaving another line of kisses down the other side, and it took all his strength not to groan in frustration. He settled on balling his hands into fists at his sides, and he couldn't be 100% sure but he thought he heard you giggle, your breath tickling him slightly.

Trying to focus on his breathing again, Tom took a deep breath in - a breath that caught in his throat when you licked a long, wet strip along the length of his cock as you took it into your hand. Your fingers wrapped around the base as your lips wrapped around the head, and he remembered how to breathe - enough to exhale, anyway - as you bobbed your head, taking more of him into your mouth each time.

The fingers on your free hand dug into his hip as you began to suck properly, your cheeks hollowing around him.

"Oh fuck-"

You bobbed your head a few more times as he moaned, before coming off him altogether and sitting up. You swallowed as you looked up at him again, and between your tongue darting out to lick your lips before pulling the bottom one between your teeth, glistening and swollen, and your hand pumping the full length of his cock, Tom wasn't sure where to look.

"Have you got a condom?"

He only nodded at first, his mouth taking a second to catch up while you looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah, um," he turned his head towards his bedside cabinet where he'd stashed some earlier. "Top drawer, I can-"

"I got it."

You let go of his dick when you leaned over to open the drawer, and it was then when he felt a rush of cool air that Tom became aware that he was lying there with his knob out while you were basically still fully dressed - which, obviously, would not do at all.

He brought his hands to your waist, pushing up your t-shirt as you took a condom from the drawer and set it on top. You giggled as you leant back over him again; he felt it tickling his lips before you kissed him. He tugged at your shirt as you kissed, messier and deeper than before, pulling it up as far as he could until you had to pull apart for you to take it off over your head. Reaching up to cup your face once your shirt was cast aside, he pulled you back in for another kiss. Tom could feel the heat of your pussy through your leggings when his thigh rubbed between your legs as he kicked off his jeans and boxers, making you whimper into his mouth and grind against him, your fingers curling into his hair.

Keeping one hand on your cheek, he moved the other to the small of your back to hold you close as he rolled you over. He felt you breathing heavily in his ear as he kissed your neck once he was hovering over you, trying to pull your leggings down with one hand. You lifted your hips to help, but unfortunately you could only get so far until he had to stop kissing you and sit back on his heels to let you wiggle out of both them and your knickers, taking the opportunity to shed his t shirt and sweatshirt while you did so.

You smiled and sat up once you were down to only your bra, placing a hand on his chest and kissing him softly - in another setting, it would have been sweet; chaste, even. As it was, sweet was probably not the word he would have chosen. His hands held your hips but you were the one in control, maneuvering your bodies until he was flat on his back and you were straddling his thighs - where you belonged, as far as he was concerned.

Reaching between your thighs, Tom looked up at your face as his fingers spread you open. Your eyes snapped shut, your breathing hitching with a quiet oh as he dipped his middle finger inside you. The fingers on your right hand tensed where it rested on his chest, your back arching as your left hand toyed with your breast through your bra while he spread your wetness along the length of your pussy, his fingers circling your clit before moving back down to push two fingers inside you. Eyes opening as you rolled your hips, you held his gaze as you ground onto his hand, biting your lip as his fingers curled inside you. You moaned softly when he moved his fingers back to your clit, slick from inside you and sliding easily between your folds.

Just the sight of you on top of him like this made him swallow harshly, his dick twitching against his abdomen as if to say excuse me?? I'm here too, you know??? And maybe you saw him glance at his cock, or maybe it was just a coincidence, but you leaned over to grab the condom from the bedside cabinet.

"D'you want me to-" Tom started as you sat back down, trailing off when you passed the packet to him.

"Thanks."

He could feel you watching him as he rolled the condom on, but he was pretty sure he could only focus on one thing at a time in that moment so he kept his eyes down, fingers working as deftly as he could manage. You leaned forward to kiss him once he finally looked back up at you, and as you did he noticed he goosebumps that had erupted across your body, your skin bumpy and cool under his fingertips as he ran his hands over your shoulders.

"You cold?" he murmured in between kisses, feeling you chuckle against his lips, then another kiss before you mumbled back.

"A bit, yeah."

Another beat of silence passed, your sentences interspersed with kisses.

"Wanna" -kiss- "get under the covers...?"

-Kiss kiss-

"Yes, please."

You kissed him one, two, three more times before you pulled away. Between the two of you you managed to get the duvet pulled out from underneath Tom and up over you, and soon he was tucking it around your shoulders as you settled back on top of him.

"Better?" he smirked.

"Mmhmm."

Tom just caught your appreciative smile before you kissed him again, moaning against his lips when his cock nudged between your folds as you leant over him. Lifting his hips as you lowered yours, he finally slid inside you.

He held your waist under the duvet, squeezing your ass and thighs every now and then, but you were setting the pace, your face buried against his shoulder as you moved your body back and forth over his slowly and purposefully. He tilted his head to kiss you occasionally - sometimes slow and sensual, open mouthed kisses with your lips moving with his, and sometimes returning the marks you were sucking and biting onto his neck. Curses and grunts of your name passed his lips more and more once you started to clench around him, your hips faltering as your movements sped up.

Your fingernails dug into the back of his neck as you grasped his face, kissing him fervently before your mouth fell open above his when he started to thrust up into you more forcefully, his grip on your hips tightening.

"Oh fuck," you breathed as you reached a hand between your bodies to hurriedly rub at your clit. "M'gonna come-"

That alone was almost enough to send Tom over the edge, moaned breathlessly into his open mouth with your forehead pressed to his; so combine it with the way your wet, hot pussy was spasming around his cock, your free hand tugging on his hair, and he was done for, his mind going blank of everything except you and the feeling of being buried deep inside you as you came together.

Both of your thrusts slowed back to a lazy grind, his arms wrapping around your body as it went slack on top of his. You nuzzled your face against his cheek as you caught your breath, your arms looping loosely around his neck. Full disclosure, it was a bit too hot being under the covers and under you, but Tom wasn't complaining.

You must have felt it too though, because after a minute or two you pressed a more definitive kiss to his jaw before untangling yourself from him and sitting up. You were only just upright when the doorbell rang loudly, followed obnoxiously quickly by a series of knocks at the front door, both of you jumping and whipping your heads around to look at Tom's bedroom door as though it might spring open.

"Dominos?" You guessed, looking back at Tom where he lay beneath you.

"Must be, yeah."

You both glanced down at your bodies, both naked and him still inside you - it was his house though, so he figured he should do the chivalrous thing and volunteer.

"I'll go."

"Cheers," you laughed as you climbed off him and plonked yourself down on the bed.

Taking the condom off as he got up, Tom tossed it into the bin under his desk while he scanned the floor for some clothes. He found his boxers and jeans easy enough, but they were all tangled together and the doorbell was ringing again, so he ended up throwing them back on the floor with a frustrated groan and breathy chuckle when you laughed from your spot on the bed. He grabbed his dressing gown off the back of his door instead, tying it tightly around his body before going out to answer the door, glancing in the hall mirror to see how obvious it was what he'd just been up to (answer: very, but there wasn't much he could do about it seeing as it sounded like the delivery guy was about to bash the door down with his bare fists judging by how aggressively he was pounding on it).

"Hey, sorry. Was uh, in the...shower."

"Delivery."

For all his impatience to get someone to answer the door, the delivery guy had seemingly decided to take his sweet time pulling each box out of the insulated bag one-by-fucking-one. He didn't even look up, no matter how many different ways Tom thanked him as he handed him each box.

"Thanks, cheers, great, thank you—" he was running out of ways to say thank you, but he just wanted the entire interaction to be over so he could get away from the street and put some fucking underwear on. His agitation appeared to have no effect on the delivery guy though, who only murmured one sullen "enjoy" before turning away and going back to his car once he'd finally finished handing over Tom's order.

By the time he backed into his room with his arms full of boxes, you'd put your t shirt and knickers back on and were smoothing out the duvet on top of his bed.

"I can't decide if that was bad timing or perfect timing."

"Me neither," Tom laughed, setting the boxes on the end of the bed. "Both, I think?"

"I'm gonna go... you know..." you gestured vaguely to your lower half as you headed towards the door, leaving Tom to fill in the blanks. He just nodded sagely - he had some of that to do himself.

"You said no one's home, right?" you paused by the door, your hand resting on the handle.

"Yeah," he laughed. "You're good."

"Cool."

After cleaning himself off and putting on a fresh t shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Tom turned off the music and instead opened up the copy of Fight Club he'd downloaded to roughly the spot he remembered getting up to last time. Paused and ready to go, he sat on his bed to wait for you to come back before he opened the pizzas - though he was practically salivating at the smell.

"Should have put my leggings on anyway," you muttered the moment you pushed the door open, grabbing them off the floor and pulling them on before it had even clicked shut behind you. "Your house is freezing."

"Yeah, sorry - the heating's really shit," he chuckled apologetically as you peeled back the covers to sit beside him cross legged, pulling the duvet up over your knees and tucking it around your waist before pulling one of the pizza boxes into your lap.

"S'okay, I'll forgive you if I can swap you a chicken strip for a Twisted Dough Ball?"

"Deal."

By the time you had both finally admitted you were full and Tom mustered the energy to get up to put the leftovers in the fridge, you'd finished Fight Club and started Tropic Thunder. When he came back from the kitchen, a glass of water in each hand, he found you lying on your side and staring blankly at the TV, clearly not watching it at all.

"You alright there?" he asked, and he couldn't help but laugh when you nodded sleepily.

"Yep, I'm just...you know?" you mumbled, blinking furiously. "I'm awake, I'm watching."

"Okay, sure, I believe you. D'you want like, pyjamas or something?"

"Oh, uh..."

It was only when you paused that he realised he hadn't actually asked you if you were going to stay over, he'd just assumed you would be. It was only a fraction of a second though, and then you pushed yourself upright with a groan and leaned back against the wall.

"Yeah, please."

Nodding, Tom took out the same pyjamas he'd given you the time you stayed over after The Library, setting them on the bed in front of you as he climbed back in beside you.

"Thanks."

"No worries."

He tried to keep his eyes on the TV as you got changed by the side of his bed, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't sneak a glance and catch a glimpse of the side of your breast as you pulled the top over your head, your bra lying abandoned on the floor. You picked it up once you'd roughly folded your clothes, tossing them on top of your bag and coat before getting back into the bed.

"Thanks," you said again as you lay down beside him, smiling softly at him.

He just returned your smile, lifting his arm to wrap it around your shoulders. He was vaguely aware of his heartbeat in his throat as you lay your head down on his chest, but he tried his best to ignore it.

"So, what's going on here?"

"I thought you were paying attention?" he teased.

"I am! But just, you know, I missed a bit while I was getting changed."

Well aware that this was a blatant lie, Tom started to explain what was happening in the movie all the same. And, to your credit, you did hum and nod along like you were listening, and once he'd finished you did say "right okay", but he was about 99.999% sure you hadn't a clue what was going on and that you weren't even really conscious. He wondered then how long it was going to take for you to both actually watch all ten of the movies on your combined lists, but ultimately decided he didn't really mind if it took the rest of the year.

⋘NINE | ELEVEN ⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff

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alostsock · 4 years

Text

Baby!Buck AU 12/12

TW: The abuse (emotional, verbal and physical) is discussed openly.

Also I don’t know anything about anything American law (or any law, really) or about getting custody of a kid, so hopefully it’s plausible but sorry if it’s way off.

I did google how much the tooth fairy leaves on average.

Also also I suppose this is the last part? Hoping to tie up the loose ends I left lying around and end it here, but maybe come back to this AU with one-shots later if anything comes to me?

Thank you to everyone who read and liked and commented! I read them all and I’m very grateful (and surprised that there are people who are into this random thing that my brain spat out), and especially thank you to @datleggy for putting up with my rambling and giving this a once-over.

---

They settle into a routine. Chimney takes over babysitting duties from the Buckleys’ neighbour when he’s off shift, and most days he babysits he takes the kid by the firehouse.

He spends the night at the Buckley apartment more and more often, so it’s really pretty inevitable that he eventually witnesses Evan’s nightmares. They happen fairly frequently at first, but then, as time goes on, less and less often. He knows Maddie has been taking him to a child psychologist, so he supposes, and hopes, that that’s helping.

Even with their lessening frequency, Chimney is pretty used to being woken up by cries from the next room, to following Maddie as she jumps out of bed and races to her brother, to watching sadly, wishing he knew how to help, as she holds him while he cries.

What Chimney isn’t expecting to be woken by, however, is tossing and turning and a flailing arm from right beside him.

“Maddie? Maddie it was just a dream, you’re okay, you’re okay.” She’s shaking her head desperately, pushing his hands off of her as she untangles herself from the bedsheets and runs to Evan’s room. Evan is still asleep, the stuffed whale’s tail held loosely in his hand, and Maddie’s breathes a sigh of relief which quickly turns into sobs that she covers her mouth to try to stifle.

“Come on, it’s okay.” He puts his arm around her and ushers her out of Evan’s room and back to their own. Getting back into bed he pulls her close to him, and she tucks herself against his chest, trying to wipe away her tears. “Do you want to tell me what it was about? Might help to talk about it?”

At first Maddie starts to shake her head, but then she hesitates. She turns in his grip to face him more fully, nervously looking into his eyes before sighing and settling back into his hold.

“I’m...” Chimney presses a kiss to her hair, waiting for her to continue. “I... never told you why we moved out here.”

Chimney stills. He had wondered, sure, had suspected it wasn’t exactly a happy story. But in the months they’d known each other, he really hadn’t learned anything about it. He knows they’re from Pennsylvania, he knows where Maddie got her nursing degree, he’s heard her mention at least one cousin but... that’s it. He doesn’t actually even know her parents’ names.

“My parents... I mean... they were okay with me, I guess. A little emotionally distant but they never hurt me or anything. Average, worked a lot, left me home alone a lot but it was fine. I had food and a roof and it was... it was fine.”

Chimney doesn’t really think that that sounds like it was actually fine, but he doesn’t interrupt.

“Evan was... Evan was an accident.” She’s whispering now, giving the closed door furtive glances. It’s obviously something she doesn’t want Evan to overhear, and it’s just as obvious why. “And then dad got laid off when he was just a baby, and money was tight, and he started drinking more, and sometimes when he was drunk he would... he would tell Evan that he was a mistake, that he was a waste of money, of time, of space...” She’s crying, tears streaming down her face. Chimney’s frozen. Everything is starting to make sense. “He started picking up jobs here and there but he was still... he was still drinking... still angry, still telling this... this toddler, this baby, who never wanted anything more than a little love, that he was in the way, and that he cost too much and that he was a mistake and that.... that he regretted him being born at all. Evan’s been... he’s been hearing those things since before he was even old enough to understand what they meant. I mean... some of them he probably still doesn’t understand but... it’s all he knew, for so, so long.”

Chimney squeezes her tighter, tears pricking at his eyes.

“Our mom... she was kind of detached, and even though she was feeding him and putting him to bed she just... wasn’t really there. I don’t know if she really cared at all, which I never... I never understood. The moment I held him in my arms I was completely in love. Those blue eyes and the little tuft of blond hair and I was in love with that baby, with every bit of my being but she just...” She shakes her head, swiping quickly at the tears on her face before continuing.

“Evan was two when I graduated high school and I already knew it was bad...but I... I was eighteen and I kind of wanted to grab him and run but I didn’t have any money, I didn’t have a job and... I had an offer to nursing school with some scholarships and I got a few loans and...” she breaks off with a sob. Chimney just holds her tighter. “I left him.”

“Maddie...”

“No. I... I left him there.” She covers her mouth, trying to cry silently, not wanting to wake up her brother. “I told myself they weren’t physically hurting him and I left him there alone.”

Chimney shakes his head desperately, searching for the right words to say. She was young, she didn’t have the means to take care of him... it must have felt impossible.

“You were a child, Maddie. You have him now, and he’s safe and happy and he has a whole bunch of people who love him. I love that kid. So much.”

Maddie looks up into his eyes again before ducking her head back down in shame.

“No. It... Every time I went back to visit it was worse.”

Chimney feels his stomach sinking. “Worse?”

“I started seeing the bruises and even with all the excuses they made I knew... and so I started to look into if it really would be possible for me to get him, but being halfway through school, and jobless and... I knew it would be hard. And every time I would leave for school again he would cling to me and cry, and I just... kept leaving him. Telling him that it was going to be okay, that I’d be back for him soon.”

Chimney starts running his fingers through her hair, but keeps quiet.

“He broke his arm once, when he was five. Hairline fracture, he had a cast when I got back for Christmas. Our mom said he fell off the playground, and Evan never disagreed. God, he never wanted anything but to please them. He’d agree with anything, say anything, do anything they asked. I still don’t know for sure what happened. I mean maybe he did just fall off the playground.

“I graduated, and so I was applying for jobs and for custody at the same time. They didn’t want to give it up. I don’t even know why, but they fought it, and without any concrete proof...”

She turns in his hold, tucking herself into his side with a sigh.

“Then everything kind of happened at once. I got a long-term offer here in LA, and a week or so after dad came home really drunk, and angry, and he pushed Evan down the stairs, knocked Mom into a cabinet. Evan broke his arm. The same one, actually, but a compound fracture this time. God, his tiny, tiny arm just...” She shakes her head. “Mom was concussed, and she finally admitted to the... the abuse at the hospital, said she’d support my application, and so it got pushed through and before the end of the month we were here.”

Chimney presses a kiss to her hair, speechless for a moment. He clears the emotion from his throat.

“Maddie... Maddie... I’m so, so glad you’re both safe. And I’m so glad you’re both here.”

“He never laid a hand on me, though, I...” Chimney cut her off.

“No, no. I’m glad you’re both safe, and away from all that.” He pauses as questions pop into his head. “Wait, do they know where you are? Would... would they do anything if they did?”

Maddie shakes her head. “They know I got a job in California, but they don’t know where. I didn’t tell them where I was going, and I didn’t give them my new number. I just... I wanted Evan to have a fresh start. He’s eight and he has so much anxiety and fear and... I thought he deserved one.”

“He did. You did too.” He tucks her hair behind her ear. “And you have a family here, now. You both do. You’ll be okay.”

---

Hen becomes “Auntie Hen,” and Bobby becomes “Uncle Bobby” and sometimes “Uncle Cap,” which is usually accompanied by a cheeky grin and followed by tickle fights. They have barbecues at Bobby’s place, and movie nights at Hen’s, and go out as a team for picnics at the beach.

The other firefighters continue calling Evan “Firefighter Buckley,” which becomes “Buckley” which becomes just “Buck” and then becomes so engrained that when they get him a tiny t-shirt with the LAFD logo printed on it for Christmas, they stamp “Buck” across the back.

Evan loses a tooth and Chimney slips a $20 bill under his pillow to join Maddie’s dollar, and when Maddie realizes she shoots Chimney an exasperated look, trying to look disapproving but clearly fighting to hide a grin.

Maddie, Chimney and Evan go whale watching for Evan’s birthday, and Chimney doesn’t think he’s ever seen his kid smile so brightly. He hangs a picture of the three of them in his locker, and tries to remember just when Evan became his.

They’ll be okay.

#babybuckau #buck #maddie #chim #bobby #hen #9-1-1 #au

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saxxxology · 4 years

Text

What Lurks Beneath the Surface - 1

After Sam’s ultimate sacrifice, you struggle to cope. When he shows up after months of being gone, you’re happier than ever to see him. That is, until you realize that the love of your life is much different than you remember.

PAIRING: Soulless!Sam x Reader WARNINGS: canon divergence (season 6), angst, suspense, violence, smut, minor dub-con, and more. NOTE: Some elements of this series are a little darker than what I usually write. Warnings are sporadic to avoid spoilers - send me an ask if you have any concerns!

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Every night after Sam’s death you drink to him. there’s always a bottle of something in your apartment, and you don’t touch it other than to drink in Sam’s memory. Each day his absence hurts just a little more, and on some days it aches so bad you can barely make it out of bed to go to work.

One morning you call in sick and spend the day crying in your bedroom, hugging your pillow and sobbing into the stained pillowcase. You whisper I miss you one second and then curse him the next. Damn you, Sam, you think. Damn you for giving up like that.

And then you wonder if Sam even wanted to make it out alive. Maybe he wanted to die.

For weeks, you try calling Castiel. All you want is a friend, and you’ll take the socially awkward angel as a goddamn roommate if it gets you somebody to talk to.

Castiel doesn’t answer.

Halloween is the first holiday to pass. Sam never liked Halloween, so you don’t dress up or decorate your apartment or go outside to hand out candy. You don’t even watch a horror movie; Sam was always there to protect you when the fake ghosts or monsters got too scary when you were little. Again, while tiny fists knock on your door, high-pitched voices yelling “trick or treat,” you repeat your ritual of drinking to him, making your count rise to exactly eighty.

Eighty days without your best friend.

Next comes Thanksgiving, and you make the long, cold drive to see Dean and Lisa. You spend three days with them, staying up late baking cornbread and cookies with Lisa, letting Ben teach you how to play video games, and the night before you leave, you and Dean go out to a bar and have a drink for Sam.

It feels good to drink with someone else for once.

A few days after you get back home, you’re out getting groceries, and out of the corner of your eye, you think you see him. There’s the blur of a dark gray jacket and brown hair, and the height makes it all the more realistic, but by the time you look up, the blur is gone, replaced by a white-haired old lady who’s easily a foot and a half shorter.

You shake it off, thinking it’s just your overactive imagination.

On Christmas Eve, you’re sadder than usual. Christmas was your favorite holiday to celebrate with Sam, and now that he isn’t here, it seems pointless to do anything related to it. But your apartment is so dark and dreary that you finally decide that wallowing in sadness is getting unhealthy. You spend the morning cleaning up, throwing out empty cans and bottles and you actually decide to test out your dishwasher for the first time since you moved in.

After cleaning and plugging in an apple-scented air freshener, you go out and get a small tree and set it up on your coffee table. A string of little white lights and golden ornaments light up the dark green branches, and when you finally turn them on, they light up your entire living room. It makes you smile, and you go to your room, dig out your brand new Polaroid camera, and snap a picture. The flash goes off, and within seconds the little rectangle of paper falls into your lap.

You hold it up, examining the picture. It’s still not completely focused, so you decide to let it set and grab your phone. You take a quick picture of your tree and send it to Dean.

< Merry Christmas! :)

A few minutes later, your phone chimes, and Dean’s caller ID pops up on your screen.

“Hey.” You answer the phone with the hint of a smile on your face.

“Hey, kiddo, how are you?” Dean’s voice is rough, but quiet, like it usually is after he’s had a couple drinks.

“I’m holding up,” you reply, “what about you?”

Dean exhales heavily, and you wonder if he’s alone and drinking his feelings away. “I’m… not okay, but I’m not going downhill either.” He clears his throat. “It’s just different.”

“Yeah, I know…” you swallow and look at the setting ink on your photo. “I miss him.”

“I miss him too,” Dean says quietly. “Lisa took one of the pictures I have of him and got it printed on a Christmas ornament, it’s hanging on our tree.”

“That’s sweet of her.” You smile. “Maybe I’ll come out for New Year’s Day, we can light fireworks with Ben.”

“Yeah.” Dean replies. The sound of a door closing echoes in the background, and Dean inhales. “Hey, I’ll call you tomorrow morning, maybe we can Skype or something.”

“All right,” you whisper. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Sure thing, kiddo. Merry Christmas.”

The line goes dead, and you toss your phone onto the table. The Polaroid still isn’t ready, so you reach under the couch and pull out the box of photos that you’ve collected over the years. You’re searching for one in particular, your all-time favorite out of over a hundred.

It’s an old polaroid of you and Sam on one of the few good days you had when you were younger; John had left the two of you at a mall while he took Dean to an indoor firing range, and the two of you had saved up enough for a Polaroid camera and some slides. In the photo, it’s Sam’s seventeenth birthday, and you’re holed up with the boys in a motel room with a ten-dollar cake and a bundle of multicolored balloons. Dean had taken the photo of the two of you right before Sam blew out the candles, and for once, the smiles you have in the picture aren’t faked.

You set the picture back in the box and reach over to reexamine your brand new photo. It’s a little blurry from the flash, but you reach over to grab a Sharpie and title it anyway.

You’re about to tuck the photo into the box next to the birthday one when you see something.

There’s a shadow in the section of the window that’s included in the photograph. A very human-like shadow.

You examine it closer, leaning forward so that the picture is illuminated by the Christmas lights. The shadow is clearly human, and it’s right outside your window, like someone is walking up the stairs to get to your apartment.

Mail deliveries don’t run this late, and you doubt anyone other than Dean has your address.

You rush into your bedroom and grab a magnifying glass from your desk. Flicking on your lamplight, you lean in to examine the shadow in detail.

The person’s clearly tall, from their position on the stairs and the height of your window. You move the magnifying glass a little to the left and freeze.

That profile… you’d know that damn nose anywhere.

You run out of your bedroom, down the short hall into your living room, to the front door. You wrench it open step out into the cold air, not caring that your bare feet are immediately freezing on the light covering of snow.

The only cars in the parking lot belong to the people who live there. There aren’t any fresh tire marks in the snow. You turn on the light outside your door and feel a hot rush of adrenaline flood your body.

Coming up the stairs and stopping right in front of you are boot prints, made by someone heavy enough to pack an inch of snow down and reveal the cement landing. You rub your eyes, thinking your imagination must be running wild, but when you open them, the prints are still there. You bend down and brush your fingers over the edge of the snow, examining the tracks carefully.

Sam’s boots. You know the indentations like the back of your hand, well over ten years of watching Sam walk through mud or through an old rain puddle had forced the pattern into your brain.

He can’t be alive… he died, he’s been dead for almost five months…

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of windows banging open, and you look up to see old Mrs. Alderman peering at you. She’s dressed in a pale pink robe and has her white hair up in curlers.

“Y/N, honey, get inside, you’ll catch your death,” she chides.

“I will…” you offer a smile and stand up. “Did you... did you see anyone just now?”

Mrs. Alderman tilts her head. “Out where, honey?”

“Here, by my door.” Your heart thuds wildly in your chest as you watch the old woman carefully.

She nods. “I did, tall guy, long hair, didn’t get a good look at his face.” She motions down the stairs. “He left a good minute before you opened the door. Looked like somethin’ spooked him.” She giggles raspily. “Thought you might have a boyfriend or somethin’ coming over.”

You nod and step back inside your apartment before she can say anything else. You don’t have anything of Sam’s that he could be attached to. Dean had taken his laptop and stash of books with him, leaving you with only the box of photos, but Sam didn’t know that half of them existed, and the others probably not enough to have a memory to hang on to. And Sam would never let himself stay on earth like that, as a ghost or spirit.

You go to the window and slide your curtains closed, blocking any view from outside before doing the same to every other window in the house. You grab the canister of salt from the top shelf in the kitchen and draw a thick line in front of the door, then over all the windowsills in the apartment. It seems stupid, but for the first time in five months, you feel like you’re in danger.

Sam had a lot of weight on his shoulders when he died, and you’ve seen the damage vengeful spirits can do, to both inanimate objects and people.

Finally, when you come back to look at the photograph, you collapse on your bed, holding the paper close to the lamplight.

The silhouette of the face, the height, the description Mrs. Alderman gave you… it terrifies you. There’s no possible way Sam could be alive, or that his spirit could make it to Earth. From the time he was six months old, Sam was damned to hell and nothing he could do could alter it. Demons are probably getting a kick out of knowing he’s down there, battling it out with Lucifer for the rest of time. Tears sting your eyes, and with a glance at the clock you realize it’s time for your nightly ritual.

Slowly, like there’s a weight pulling you down, you rise from the bed and stumble into the kitchen. You pull a brand new bottle of whiskey off of the counter and wrench the top out.

“Miss you, Sammy.” You whisper, and then you tilt the bottle back and take a long, burning swallow.

You feel like you’re falling and you land on something cold and soft and wet. Your fingers tangle in what feels like long blades of grass, and when you open your eyes, the sky is white above you.

There’s a grunt, the THWACK! of a fist connecting with flesh and bone, and the sound of a body falling to the ground.

Turning your head to the source of the sound, you realize you’re in Stull Cemetery, lying not twenty feet from where Sam was standing over his brother, the fingers of one hand curled into a fist, the other hand holding Dean’s shirt with an iron grip.

Bobby’s lying a few feet away from you, his neck turned at an awkward angle. You remember now; Lucifer had snapped his neck before throwing you over the hood of the Impala, the force of your flight enough to stun you on impact.

“Bobby…” You reach out for him, touching his shoulder in a vain attempt to wake him, but he doesn’t move. You hear Sam’s fist connect with Dean’s face again, and Dean’s pleading with him to stop…

Lucifer lets Dean drop to the ground, blood flowing freely from his nose and several cuts across his face. He turns away from you, looking out beyond the tall, black gates of the cemetery. You crawl backwards behind a tall headstone, cowering as Lucifer forced Sam’s body to revolve, his back ramrod straight, eyes narrowed, searching for any living thing in a place of death.

“Y/N…” Lucifer calls your name, taunting you. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”

Dean groans from his position on the ground and looks up at the imposing figure above him. “Don’t you dare hurt her!”

Lucifer stops, and from around the headstone you can see the hint of a smirk playing on Sam’s fine features. You hide your face as he turns, and you hear Dean shout in pain as his head snaps back, slamming against the side of the Impala hard enough to knock him out.

“Now…”

You cower in fear as Lucifer strides closer to where you’re hiding, his steps even and heavy on the damp earth, and fallen leaves crunch eerily under his boots.

“You can come out and give yourself up, by choice, or…” he stops a few feet away from the headstone, and you hear him take a deep breath, “you can make me come and get you myself. Cas is gone, Bobby’s gone, Dean’ll be out for a while, and Sam...” he scoffs, “Sam’s screaming in here, screaming your name…”

You whimper and cover your mouth, tucking your legs up underneath you. You hear Lucifer pacing away, and you sign in relief.

“I could let him out, you know?” Lucifer says. “I could let you hear the agony he’s in, let you know how bad he wants you to save him. Probably because he’s too weak to save himself.”

Those words make you feel rage over fear, and you stand up from your hiding spot, run around the headstone, and charge the devil.

“You bastard!” you scream, and you raise your fists as your body collides with Sam’s and you strike at his face, kicking and slapping at him even as he grabs hold of your wrists and holds you still. You’re forced to look into his face as he raises a hand to grip your throat, and those dark, glittering eyes are the last thing you see before he flicks his wrist, and your vision goes dark.

You jerk awake, still screaming and crying. Your body is drenched in sweat and there are tears streaming down your face.

“It was a dream,” you tell yourself. “It was just a dream, it wasn’t real…”

Sinking back against the twisted sheets, you feel the darkness return, that cold weight that presses you down into the mattress and stops you from moving.

Sam needed you in that cemetery. Lucifer had said so. Sam needed you and you hadn’t done jack to save him.

What kind of friend were you?

SIX MONTHS LATER...

You’re feeling good for the first time in a while, and when you get yet another sizable paycheck (you’ve been working extra shifts to avoid your apartment since Christmas), you take the opportunity to take a road trip and visit Dean, Lisa, and Ben at their new house. You stay for a weekend, reconnecting with Dean and poring over old memories of growing up with the Winchesters.

When you get back to the apartment on Monday afternoon, however, you have a bit of trouble parking.

Some asshole’s parked a shiny black Dodge Charger in your spot.

“Are you serious?!” You pull into the spot across from Asshole Number One and grab your bags. “What the hell is wrong with people...”

That night you take a long bubble bath to relax from the stress of travel. When you finally drain the water and slip on your brand new robe, you feel completely relaxed for the first time in months. Hell, you might even get more than five hours of sleep tonight. You towel your hair almost dry and toss the towel into a hamper before slipping on pajama shorts and a baggy shirt and pacing into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. You’re back in your bedroom when you get the scare of a lifetime.

Two large, strong arms wrap around you from behind, and one hand comes up to cover your mouth. You scream, but the sound is muffled and when you try to open your mouth to bite, you find that your jaw can barely move under the force.

Kicking wildly, you manage to land your heel just below your assailant’s knee, but their hold doesn’t loosen. You flail your arms above your head, searching out eyes to scratch or a nose to break. Your attacker pushes you towards the bed, and your legs go out from under you as they shove you down, hard enough to knock the air from your lungs. Gasping for air, your screams are half-silenced when they roll you onto your back, using their entire body to hold down your writhing form.

The gun, you think, get to the gun in the nightstand!

You manage to get your legs up and kick, hard. The person on top of you, now evidently male, grunts with pain and stumbles back as you crawl backwards on the bed, reaching for the only weapon in the room.

He’s back on top of you before you know it, dragging you underneath him and pinning you down. Again, he covers your mouth with his hand, muffling your groans and screams of fear.

No, no, please no…

Your lungs burn for oxygen, tears of fear streaming from your eyes and dripping down your face. You thrash around harder, hitting the body above you with fists that grow weaker with every second.

I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die tonight.

You let out one more gasping cry before you succumb to the darkness.

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