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#words and feelings
cvtastrophee · 1 month
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how does one always know the right things to say and what to do when it comes to me? i've never met such a person that could make me feel so safe in such a short period of time. for so long i've felt like i was too much, but he always tells me that i'm not and that i'm just enough.
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weaponizedtit · 3 months
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my feelings, always too big for my tiny self, and my words, which are only true and brave, are just my two standout qualities. my bulbous heart that is bursting and bleeding purple through my ribs a little more every second is all that I am. when I speak, I spill a mess that I'm never able to clean. but it is strong and bright, so I always smile with my eyes without moving my body. I say, "I love you" to everyone I love. I'm a honey badger, yes.
until I look into her eyes. I can't find my tongue and my words have turned to dust. they are going up in smoke; an effect of her light. I blink and blink. and look away. and stutter. and take my steps backward. my face burning orange with my shame. monsters come climbing up my legs and coil around me, breaking my lungs. they won't even swallow me down.
I can only laugh about it days later. how are we all the opposites of ourselves in front of the girls that we love? the lions, the tigers and the honey badgers, we all become mice when we face the sun.
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atalternateuniverse · 30 days
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i hope you fight for yourself when no one else does.
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lil-shiro · 3 months
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today I used dầu xanh for the first time in over a year it soothed my aching stomach, but bruised my tender heart nghe mùi dầu xanh nhở bà nội
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creatingnikki · 1 year
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notes from others to myself: 2022 edition 
don’t always show your true feelings. use humour. makes things less awkward sometimes.
your heart is not a home for cowards.
so what if you gave parts of you away to these people? you’ve been giving parts of you away since that first friend you made in kindergarten but your essence is not finite so it’s okay.
itna load mat le. don’t stress about this/overthink.
don’t split infinitives when you write.
you can’t let your past experiences lower your standards.
sometimes you have to view problem solving in binary. if you can solve a problem, great. solve it and it no longer exists. if you can’t solve it and there’s nothing you can do about it then stressing about it is of no use either.
you’re so warm. you’ll make friends wherever you go.
using a metal whisk helps lighten hickeys/love bites quickly. 
you can’t just keep collecting these days, one-off days, with people and justify that it’s okay because these days are beautiful. because in the long-term it leaves you with nothing. nothing but pain. 
stop now. stop looking for that connection with people. maybe you already have it with those in your life and you’re just not investing in it. either way, stop.
habits are the compound interest of self-improvement (atomic habits)
assuming people have your best interest at heart and seeing the world from rose-tinted glasses - that cannot be your starting point; that cannot be your default. 
it’s okay if your starting point is - people are assholes. but it has to be people are assholes and I accept that, I am okay with that. I’ll see the good in people when it shows up. but if your starting point is people are assholes and that’s not okay, it’s not helpful.
it's okay to make mistakes. everyone does that. even if you know that you're making a mistake when you’re making it. but once you've done it and you face the consequences and you're like okay this isn't how I want to continue or how I thought it would be...it's alright.
when you ask someone to not judge you or something that you are saying, you are, in a way, insulting them by asking them to not use their sensibilities. 
you may desire and deserve the love of men and others but not their shit. look at yourself and everything that you have been through in the last 25 years. everything you've dealt with. everything you've survived. and then you'll know that you deserve better. and anybody who doesn’t see that doesn’t need to be a part of your life. 
every science begins as philosophy and ends as art. 
any man who makes you feel so horrible about yourself doesn't deserve to be in your life. no matter what a good guy he might otherwise be or what he may have done for you in the past. 
it’s like we have this extension chord when it comes to our emotions. when we feel something for a man, no matter how many “buts” no matter how impossible a future together is, our emotional extension chord keeps going on. think our scissors are rusty. we need to fix those rusty scissors and cut the chord off in time, cut our losses like they do. 
you have the softest skin. I was afraid to even hold you because touching you tightly left marks on your body. I cannot forget your skin. or how you kissed. yours were the softest kisses. 
just write a horrible book. all you have to do is write a horrible book. when you say that to yourself during the writing process, you take off the pressure of having to write something good and just write. and for a first draft, that’s the only thing you need - write. 
you need to stop underestimating yourself and letting idiots in. you are beautiful, smart, kind, and funny. these adjectives may seem common but a person being all these things? you? rare. why don’t you see that? the moment a person is treating you like shit, you should be like “bhenchod, there is the door. get out.”
the people who do such childish, immature things are actually the ones who are really messed up. they are the ones hurting on the inside and they don’t even know it so that can translate into behaviour that is petty, insensitive, and dense towards others. don’t get mad at them, don’t take it personally. 
retract your claws. 
decide what you want - micro term, short term, long term, or life long - with the person. because all four are very different things. 
the intensity of your reactions to present situations are simply the compounded impact of everything you have been through this year. and if you don’t hit pause and process what’s happened, you will reach a point where everything will be so jumbled up that you won’t be able to see anything clearly. 
the two ends of a spectrum, though seem the opposite, often tend to have many similarities 
yes, you are a demisexual but that doesn’t mean you can’t do casual. what you really want is quality of conversations and connections. that’s the way you are demisexual. not that you need something long-term to share something with someone or feel anything towards them. it’s about can you sit and have an interesting conversation with them and can the two of your get and respect each other? that’s what it is. 
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thewordssfanatic · 1 year
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PRAYER
There's something profoundly sacred about keeping them in your prayers.
We might have fallen apart but i still pray for your success.
I might not wish you on your birthday but i still pray for your health and hope that you achieve your goals.
I still pray for your happiness like i always did.
We were star-crossed lovers in this life, but i pray for my happily ever after with you in the next life.
I pray because praying is all I can do
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"Just because it hurts doesn't mean it has to stay. For how long will you let all pain to be all suffered? Pain is a feral monster that devours and departs; suffering is the monster we make out of pain, the monster that eats us whole, the one we allow to reside." @kafkaesquebibliomaniac
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happy birthday to me
(poem 2023)
19
never felt more alone
i’m waiting
to finally be on my own
so i can let the tears
roll down my face
showing up
to a random place
cancellations
i don’t need more space
to feel
ok
i just want you
to be on your way
for my very sad happy birthday
no one seems to understand
now i’m feeling
they all say aw it’s sucks
while i’m reeling
in desperation
in conversation
i’m not dealing
with it well
i mean thankyou yes i’m swell
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pixiegothwitchh · 1 year
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and i thought to myself, many times before this. what if i gently whispered in your ear. you are the definition of light to me, even in the moments you call yourself the long and deep darkness, now if you believe i am the thunderstorm, than i must believe you are the lightening that can set an entire forest on fire. instead i just stared at you with a gentle smirk hoping that my eyes would convey what my lips tremble to confess.
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obfuscxte · 2 years
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cvtastrophee · 3 months
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how is one filled with so much love and so much rage at the same time?
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dirtytransmasc · 6 months
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the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
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jaggedjawjosh · 2 months
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feelingsoftheday · 10 months
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Remember that the right person will never get tired of you even in the worst times
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bebx · 7 months
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variksel · 1 year
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i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media
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