#Romance in Recovery | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

villainousshakespeare · 7 months

Text

Therapy Fit for a God

Chapter 31

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings (for previous chapters): Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking, memory loss.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29

Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.

Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?

@yespolkadotkitty@just-the-hiddles@hopelessromanticspoonie@wine-and-whines@arch-venus25@caffiend-queen@devilish–doll@enchantedbyhiddles@hiddlesholic@i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman@kellatron55@ladyoftheteaandblood@latent-thoughts@yespolkadotkitty @myoxisbroken@nuggsmum@nildespirandum@pedeka@redfoxwritesstuff@sinfully-lustful-darling@vodka-and-some-sass@wrathkitty@kingtwhiddleston@wolfsmom1@poetic-fiasco@shiningloki@dangertoozmanykids101@bookworm-christina@amwolowicz@delightfulheartdream@frostbitten-written@what-a-flammable-heart@tom-hlover@nonsensicalobsessions@myraiswack@loki-yoursaviourishere@ghostypau@ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza@mareebird@colorfulfreakstudentpizza @szycha22@chokemedaddyloki@queenofallhobos@just-the-hiddles-reads @alwida10 @justjoanne242 @lovelysizzlingbluebird@lokiprompts@evieplease @bitchassbecky691@georges-left-ear@mischief2sarawr@thedistractedagglomeration

It's back!!! Well, if this isn't the definition of taking too long, I don't know what is. My sincere apologies. It was a long summer. Finally though, I have scratched out some time away with just my hubs and my keyboard, and now that he is in bed I space to write!

It was a relief to Loki that the room he paced back and forth, wearing a proverbial hole in the carpet, was familiar to him. He reminded himself of that fact regularly, in an effort to stave off the worst of the anxiety coursing through him as he waited for his Lady's arrival. No matter what the future held for him from this point forth, at least he knew himself and all that belonged to him, this room included.

Also included, he hoped, was the woman due to arrive at any moment.

It had been a boisterous reunion with when he had finally joined his family where they waited for him to emerge from his procedure. Any event involving Thor was bound to be less than serene, but the nature of his discovery made the atmosphere raucous even by the standards of the Asgardian royal family.

"Brother! I mean Cousin!" Thor had proclaimed, lifting him from his feet in an embrace that had gone near to shattering Loki's rib cage. "Norns take it all, Brother it has always been, and Brother it shall always be!"

"Thank you, Thor," he had wheezed out with the little air left in his lungs.

"I always knew that you and I shared blood. It was as obvious as it is that day turns to night and night to day."

"Yes, our similarities are breathtaking," Loki had replied dryly, doing his best to hide the misty eyed sensation sweeping over him at his brother's declaration. "I am only surprised that the people did not take us for twins."

"Loki, my dear one," Frigga had cut short his sarcasm before Thor had an opportunity to read it and be stung. "Can you ever forgive us for what we have put you through?"

"I have forgave and been forgiven for far worse in my time," Loki had shrugged, accepting a kiss from her on his cheek. "And as it turns out, I was not the only one deceived in this."

"You were not," she had agreed, a spark of anger in her eye that he was grateful was not directed at him.

"So tell me, where is my dearest not-father? I would have thought he would be first to greet me, all eagerness to explain why he was right to keep the true details of my birth from all of us."

"Mother sent him away," Thor's voice had held a note of awe that Loki was completely in agreement with. To his knowledge no one had ever imposed their will upon the great All Father of the Nine Realms.

"Did you?" was all he said aloud as his mind reeled.

"We all needed time to process the truth," Frigga had a voice of vibranium that would have cut through the strongest armor. "It will go easier if we do not have to do so while your father... while Odin spins his version of events. He will be back in time, when we have all had time to consider."

"What have I told you, Thor," Loki had smirked at his brother. "In a battle to the death, I would choose our Mother every time. If, that is, I may still call you mother?"

The hesitation he had felt rocked him tot he very core. Always, Frigga had been the guiding light in his life. Her love may have been flawed, conditional to Odin's laws, but he had always believed in it. Even when he had learned that he was not her son by birth, there had been no other woman to put in her place. Now, now that he had a name and a face to put to the woman who had birthed him, could he still consider Frigga his Mother? Would she want him to?

"Volla may have given you birth," Frigga had said, tears standing in her eyes, "but in all ways that matter, you are my son, Loki. I have always loved you. Knowing that you are the blood of my blood only strengthens that love."

It seemed that there were times when the tears would not be stifled. He had embraced her again, allowing the salt water to flow from his eyes onto her shoulder as he held her to him. It was only as Thor joined them, wrapping them both in his beefy embrace, that he had heard the door to the chamber open and shut and known that Caroline had slipped silently out.

He had wanted to go after her immediately, but an unaccustomed shyness had descended on him. He owed her so much, this tiny but fierce woman of Midgard. Not only was she responsible for this latest revelation of his origin story, but it was due to her that was alive to learn it. Now that he could remember all of the support she had given him over the past weeks, he found himself feeling profoundly unworthy of so steadfast a woman. He needed something to show her that he knew just how lucky he was to have her in his life and in his corner.

"Mother," he had asked, enjoying the sensation of saying it once more without the sarcasm. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Name it, my son. If it is in my power, it is yours."

"Now that is a dangerous statement if ever I heard it," Thor had said with a rumble of laughter, as Loki began to lay out what he wished for.

His mother, as always, had been as good as her word. Loki paused his pacing now to once more needlessly take inventory of his pocket universe, making sure the precious item was safely locked away for the right moment.

A light tap on the door brought him swinging around to stare at it for a moment. An unaccustomed wave of uncertainty threaded down his spine, causing his heart to beat an irregular tattoo. He wanted so much for the next series of minutes to go as he hoped. It had been longer than he could remember, now that he had memories to recall, since he had wanted anything so much.

"Loki, are you in there?" the clear, musical voice called. "Your mother said you wanted to see me."

He realized suddenly that he had stayed rooted to the spot and moved in a dash to cross the room and open the door. He smiled as he saw the small woman standing there, green dress bringing out the color of her eyes and the roses in her lips.

"My darling Caroline," he breathed, calming as his eyes met hers. "To call you lovely would be a drastic understatement. Won't you come in?"

"Of course," she smiled at him. "How are you feeling? You did have quite a morning."

"And you," he replied, ushering her into his space, "have had quite a month. Give or take."

"Fair," she acknowledged with a laugh. "We have both been through quite the wringer lately."

Loki watched her mouth as the corners tilted up and yearned to kiss it. Everything in him was telling him to gather her into his arms and not let her go until she was breathless from his embrace. But he had a question to put to her, and he wanted them both to be clear headed when he did.

"Loki, what is wrong?" she asked him, peering up at him through troubled eyes. "You do remember me, don't you?"

"I remember everything," he said, caress seeping into the words. "I remember your bravery, your strength of will, the way you put your career, your very life on the line to help me, a veritable stranger from an alien race. I remember how right it felt to hold you in my arms, and the passion we discovered together when at last I had you in my bed. Oh, min kajesta, I remember it all."

Her face had turned a beguiling shade of red while he spoke, and he watched as the pupils in her eyes dilated at his words. Once more pull to have her without a moment to loose overtook him. Just speaking her praise out loud had him straining against his leather trousers with desire.

"I am glad," she managed to squeak out, eyes darting down and up again.

Caroline made a move towards him and Loki sprung into action, darting around the table and lifting a bottle of wine to offer her.

"May I pour you a glass, darling? I promise it is not the normal Asgardian vintage, but a perfectly respectable Chateaux Margot from Midgard."

"That would be nice," she sounded confused. "Loki, tell me what is bothering you? I promise, I will accept it, whatever it is."

"Of course you will, sweetheart," he sighed, pouring the wine into two glasses and handing one to her. "Just as you accepted every other facet of my disreputable life."

"Well, I don't so much know if I accept the invasion and all the destruction that went with it," she qualified, "but I do understand the mitigating factors. But please, for the sake of my sanity, tell me what is wrong."

"My darling, since the moment you met me, bound in that cell, your life has been in upheaval. I have torn you away from your work, your friends, your home. Your very life has been threatened on numerous occasions. It cannot have been an easy time for you."

"Not easy, no," she agreed, face scrunching adorably as she considered his words. "But at it was never dull. In all honesty Loki, there were days when I thought I lost you that were horrible. You can ask Tony at some point, or Bruce, I was a basket case. But as long as you were with me, I always believed that things would somehow work out. It was only when you were gone that I was panicked."

"Ah yes, Stark and Banner," he said their names with a grimace. "They are just the problem."

"Why? I thought you and Tony had bonded? And yes, I understand that Bruce might not be your favorite person, given the Hulk smashing, but -"

"You misunderstand me, love," he interrupted her. "I am not disparaging the Midgardian heroes. I will not even say anything against that blind menace who despite his infirmity managed to look inappropriately at you. No, it just that they are, well, heroes. That is what you are used to consorting with, Caro."

"I have not consorted with any of them!"

"I do not mean it in that way," he smiled at her, grateful despite the misunderstanding to hear that she had not been more than a colleague with any of them. "I simply mean that you spent your time on Earth with a certain type of man. The heroic, selfless type to be specific."

"I would hardly call Tony selfless," she scoffed.

"You are deliberately deflecting what I am trying to say," he ground out, frustrated that she was interrupting him. "This is hard for me darling, please let me finish."

"Sorry," she mumbled, face not loosing its impatient look.

"With the caveat that Stark is possibly the only person alive as self interested as I am," he admitted, ceding her the point, "you are part of a team of heroes. Yes, there are times when certain members of that team do things that go against that code of ethics, as when they wanted to execute me without a proper trial, but for the most part, those that you surround yourself with are paragons of humanity, struggling to do what is right and just."

"Alright," she said slowly as he paused. "I might have some issues with parts of what you said, but I will grant you the basic premise. I work with a team of good guys. What is your point?"

"My point, my love, is that I am not a hero. I am a seriously flawed semi-reformed super villain at best."

"Loki," she said, face contorting to hide what looked suspiciously like laughter, "is that what you think?"

"It is the truth."

"Have you not been paying attention?" she asked in frustration, flopping down into one of his chairs and taking a long drink of wine. "Very good by the way. Alright, where to begin... How may times have you saved Thor's life? When you would go on your missions for Asgard before his thwarted coronation?"

"Countless, particularly if you take into account the times I kept him from saying or doing something dramatically stupid."

"And by how many of those missions was Asgard kept safe?"

"All of them, but it is not the same thing."

"Isn't it? You were fighting to protect your home. It is no different from what Tony does on Earth. And when we came up with the plan to retrieve the Mind Stone, the very thing that had caused you so much pain and torture, did you Tony, Thor, and I go alone? No, even though it was not your world that hung in the balance, you put your life on the line, not to mention your sanity, and helped us keep the jewel from falling into unsafe hands. What do you call that?"

"Righting a wrong I myself committed."

"But that's my point!" she insisted, sloshing wine onto the carpet as she gestured for effect. "Everyone commits wrongs. No hero is perfect. Not Matt, not Bruce, certainly not Tony. It doesn't matter if you make mistakes. What matters is that you when you do, you try to make them right. You are a hero, Loki, not because you are perfect, but because you try."

"You don't think I'm perfect?" he asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow that sent a flood of desire through her.

"I plead the fifth," she said, bringing a confused look to his face. "Loki, let me put it this way. You are all the hero I need."

"You are sure?"

"More sure than I have ever been about anything in my life. I love you, Loki."

"Well in that case," Loki took a big breath and reached into his pocket universe, "I would like to offer you this."

With all of his nerves ready to snap, he held out the small golden apple in his hand to her.

***

Caroline had been looking forward to this moment with Loki for what seemed like ages. First she had thought him gone, most likely dead if not dying. Then, just when she had found out that he was alive, his memory was wiped out, taking all of his knowledge of their relationship. She had white knuckled it through the past few days when Loki, lacking his memories, had nonetheless invited intimacies with her, ones she desperately wanted, but felt guilty indulging in with his altered state.

Now, at last, the were both healthy and whole, minds in tact. She wanting nothing in the world but to have a sizable amount of time together, alone.

She had slipped out of the room when Loki had emerged from his procedure and greeted his family. Yes, she had been separated from a fully functional Loki for days, but his separation from his family had been going on for longer. It was important, she thought, to give Loki, Frigga, and Thor a moment to reforge their frayed family bond. Watching all of the love his mother and brother surrounded him with had made Caroline happy, but she still felt as yet a bit of an outsider, not sharing the centuries of history with the three. A quiet exit seemed the most tactful action she could take.

Now at last, it was her turn. Loki had sent her a message asking that she meet him in his rooms. Suppressing a thrill she let her mind wander to why he might want to meet her there. Could it have anything to do with the large, comfy bed that dominated the room? Caroline could only hope.

Her pulse was racing as she knocked on the door. The few doors down from where she herself had been allotted quarters was long enough to amp up her excitement to a fever point.

The Loki who answered the door was not the one she had been expecting. Judging by Loki's actions in all of there previous time together, Caroline would have expected him to pounce on her. They had wasted so much time apart, be it mentally or physically, that even a few moments not in his arms seemed a crime to her. He, on the other hand appeared determined to keep the whole room between them. Why?

She tried to track his thoughts as Loki rambled on, to answer sensibly about all that they had gone through, to defend him against himself, but as he kept talking, her mind was screaming for him to throw her onto the bed that loomed just behind him and ravish her. What was taking him so long?

"You don't think I'm perfect?" Loki asked, seizing on and twisting a comment she had made in the midst of trying to convince him not to belittle himself. His look, cocky and knowing, sent a wave of lust so strong through her that Caroline pressed her thighs together to counter it.

"I plead the fifth," she said, forgetting for a moment that he would have scant knowledge of American legal terms. "Loki, let me put it this way. You are all the hero I need."

"You are sure?" he seemed intent on the point, as though their futures depended on it.

"More sure than I have ever been about anything in my life. I love you, Loki." It really was as simple as that.

"Well in that case, I would like to offer you this."

Caroline didn't know what she had been expecting. Jewelry perhaps? His empty had to pull her close to him? Certainly she had not been expecting a small, perfectly formed golden apple. She could tell from the look on his face that it was important, but she had no idea in what way. Distantly, she thought she might have seen something about an apple in that large encyclopedia she had paged through in his cabin, she couldn't remember what the significance was. She was fairly certain it was nothing to do with the Frost Giant side of his heritage.

"Thank you?" she said uncertainly, reaching for the apple.

"You don't understand, do you?" he guessed, reading her. "Of course not, how could you. Caroline, min kajesta, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I want that too, Loki," she said, beaming from the inside.

"No, you misunderstand me, my love," he smiled again, getting down on one knee in front of her chair and caressing the side of her face. "I want to spend not just the rest of your life, the short life of a mortal, with you, but the mine. The lifespan of a God."

"Loki, I am not a God, or a Goddess," she laughed nervously at the very idea.

"To me you are the very definition of Goddess," he told her, eyes brimming with love. "You are wise, gentle, strong, loving, and, to be quite candid, the most desirable creature I have ever met. All you are missing is longevity. And this apple can give it to you."

"What?" she must be hearing him wrong, she thought.

"The Golden Apples of Idun can grant a sort of immortality to any who eat them," he explained quietly. "They can, in short, turn a mortal into a God."

"How many are there?" she asked, stalling for time.

"At the moment? Three. When you have eaten one, there will be two. But fret not, more will grow. I a thousand years or so, another will take this one's place."

"Loki, I can't take that! It is too precious for me."

"The stars are not too precious for you, my dearest love," he told her seriously. "I would steal them all for you."

"Did you steal the apple?" she asked.

"I would have, if I had to, but I did not. Frigga called in a favor from Idun and procured it for me."

"Frigga did that?"

"She did. She loves me, it seems. And she thinks you are good for me. She is right, you are far too good for me, but I intend to have you nonetheless. Will you have me, min kajesta? Will you share this long life we me as we commit mischief across the galaxy? Say yes, love. Please."

"Loki," she said his name like a prayer. "Yes, my love."

#Loki #loki/ofc #fanfic #Loki fanfic #Thor #Avengers #Frigga #Therapy #romance #recovery #love #true love #future sexy times #I promise #It's back!!!#sorry for the delay #Please forgive me #Loki makes a big ask

90 notes · View notes

yangsejongs · 11 days

Text

because i can't let things go i'm thinking about the qot finale and it's still frustrating to me. baekhong spent 14 episodes falling apart and getting back together and lost all that progress to her surgery and subsequent amnesia...what was the point of all that relationship development if they were just going to have a blank slate to start over? was the relationship development just for hyunwoo's benefit, since he is the one that kept his memories intact? (and i understand why it is relevant for his character since, at the beginning of the drama, he hated his life and hated being married to haein and changed on those points.) but if haein was going to get this life-saving surgery, survive, and forget everything, why not have this happen in an earlier episode so she and hyunwoo get a chance to rebuild and we get to see them deal with the mistakes of the past as they work towards their chance at rekindling their love? idk

#queen of tears #anyone else feel kinda cheated that they gave haein just two episodes to sort of figure out her feelings towards hyunwoo post-surgery #i was not expecting her to recover all of her memories in one go but like...come on...if it was going to be portrayed as a slow recovery wh #not initiate it sooner #i think this drama needed 20 episodes to fully resolve every plot and subplot it started #otherwise with 16 episodes aunt beomja's romance was superfluous and that screen time could have been given to baekhong idc #OR AT LEAST TO FLESH OUT MOH SEULHEE'S MOTIVATIONS #DID SHE JUST WANT MONEY??????????? LIKE???????????/#anyway....#WE WILL BE WATCHING AGAIN BC I LOVE MY BAEKHONGIES THAT MUCH

25 notes · View notes

yourtearsaremyink · 4 days

Text

It's Just This Once

Hey everyone! This is my first post. This work is finished but I will be uploading the chapters weekly. (I don't really know how Tumblr works so if y'all have suggestions or tips let me know)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing its mostly fluff.

Summary: Y/N is an Avenger, she has healing powers and uses them to patch up the rest of the team. Bucky never asks her to use her healing powers on him, except once.

Chapter Word Count: 1,912

Chapter 1: Take the Pain Away

Y/N was working in her little corner of the medical wing of the newly built Avengers Compound. All was right in her little world, well as right as her world could be since reappearing after a five year absence.

Everyone was trying their hardest to go back to normal but adapting to a life without Steve, Tony, and Natasha was far from it. Shortly before Tony and Steve's fallout, Y/N was recruited by Fury to join the Avengers Initiative. He had somehow figured out she was an enhanced and convinced her to join the team. She had hid her abilities so well in the past she had no idea how a man she had never met before found out about them. Y/N had the extraordinary ability to heal others, it had taken an insane amount of time, energy, and focus to master her powers. With the help of Wanda she had also been able to unlock another talent. She had intuition that was insanely on point so she could guide her teammates on their missions. Natasha had taught her some martial arts moves and Steve taught her how to protect herself in a fight. Y/N soon became part of the family and finally found a place where she belonged, but after a few billion people came back from nothingness, her family seemed to narrow down. She had fought in the battle against Thanos and tried, had really tried, to heal Tony with her powers but in the end it wasn't enough. She couldn't help but feel a little responsible for his death. When the battle was over and Steve left to be with the love of his life, he left so many friends behind. If Y/N couldn't heal Tony's physical wounds, maybe she could heal the emotional wounds he and Steve left behind.

Shortly after the battle she became close with the remaining Avengers. She helped guide Sam on missions as the new Captain America, she comforted Wanda after her little outburst in Westview, she even got to know Bucky a bit more. Sam had convinced him to live at the new Compound with him instead of being alone in an old apartment in Brooklyn. Every so often Sam and Bucky would limp into the med bay in need of healing. She had healed Sam several times and Wanda a few but never Bucky. He always said she shouldn't waist her energy on him, and she always replied with, "It's no trouble at all, it doesn't take that much energy." Bucky would brush it off and say his advanced healing would take care of his injuries in no time. She never really pushed it, considering what he's been through with people messing with his body, it didn't surprise her when he didn't want to be helped.

Today was nothing unusual when Sam came into the med bay with an arm around Bucky and the other around his side. Y/N hopped up from the seat at her desk and began walking to the two men.

"What did you do this time?"

"This idiot took a bullet for me." Bucky spoke up as he helped Sam into a bed.

"Hey don't be mad at me for saving your life." Sam snapped back. He was taking off part of his uniform so Y/N could assess the injury properly.

"I have better healing than you, I would have been just fine." Bucky countered.

"I'll be fine! I have the best healer in the world right here, right doc?" Sam shot a quick smirk at Y/N as she started to heal him. A light purple glow emitted from her hands as she closed the wound on Sam's torso.

"Just because I can heal you in seconds doesn't mean you can be reckless."

Sam's smirk faded as Bucky gave a short "Ha" in victory. Y/N noticed Bucky was holding his left arm with his right and had a few bruises on his face.

"I could always heal you too Bucky if you need it."

"It's fine doll, these bruises will be gone in a couple hours." He said as he gestured to his face. Y/N turned her attention back to Sam as she finished up her work.

"All done." She said as she removed her hands. "Go clean up, Wanda and I are making dinner soon."

She grabbed a cloth and wiped some of the blood off her hands.

"You're the best doc. " Sam gave her a quick hug and headed out with Bucky. As they left she saw how tight the muscles in Bucky's were. With all of the experience Y/N had with healing people, she was able to see how much he was hurting. It could just be the stress of the mission so she didn't think much of it.

Later that evening while Y/N was cooking with Wanda, she once again noticed Bucky. At this point she couldn't tell if it was just stress or flat out pain. Sam was tapping away at his laptop sending a report on the mission to Fury. He didn't seem to notice the tight expression Bucky was wearing. Bucky was absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder where metal met flesh, he looked exhausted.

"You good Buck?"

He glanced up at her removing his hand from his shoulder and said,

"Yeah, I'm fine. " with a half hearted smile.

She hoped that a warm meal would help. Y/N loved to cook, especially with Wanda, she loved seeing people's faces when they ate the food she made. Pretty much everyone else was away from the compound so it was just the four of them. Wanda had suggested they make soup since Autumn came out of nowhere and settled in New York. They set the table and listened to Sam talk about the mission he and Bucky had just endured. Bucky let Sam do all the talking for once and kept quite happily enjoying the warm food. The creases in his features slowly melted away as he finished the soup. Once the story was finished and the dining room was cleaned up, everyone said their goodnights and started off to their rooms, all expect Y/N.

"You're not going to sleep?" Wanda had asked when she saw Y/N going towards the elevator instead of her room.

"I have some work left to finish since I was so rudely interrupted earlier." She had turned her head to Sam with a smile.

"Hey don't come at me." He said with his hands up in a surrendering gesture as he walked to his room.

She gave a small laugh, "Goodnight guys."

Y/N headed down to her lab and picked up where she left off. She was running some lab work on some blood samples when she heard thunder shake the building. It startled her enough for her to nearly drop her test tube. Soon after she heard rain begin to pound on the walls of the Compound. She glanced at the clock as it struck 1:00 am.

"Just a little longer." She whispered as she resumed her work.

Bucky was sitting in his bed when he heard Thunder boom outside his window. He hadn't slept since coming to his room, too stressed from the mission and in too much pain. He knew the rain was coming, he felt it in his bones, but that didn't make it any less unsettling. He truly felt like an old man knowing rain was coming by the way his prosthetic arm felt. The mission had caused a few unpleasant memories to resurface and that made his mind uneasy. All of that combined together resulted in a dull headache and an unbearable amount of phantom pain in his left arm. His shoulder was throbbing and it felt as if he was being stabbed by a hundred needles where his metal arm occupied where his flesh should be. His breathing was laboured and heavy, he was so close to a panic attack it wasn't even funny. The weather hadn't helped either, it made him feel cold and achey. He tried so hard to keep it together but the pain became too much. He needed relief and there was one person he could think of to help. He hated the idea of Y/N using her healing powers on him when she could use them for something much more valuable. He didn't want to inconvenience her with his pain but it was becoming agonizing. He sat and thought it over for a few more minutes when he finally caved and made his way down to her lab. He stood at the door and sighed,

"It's just this once."

Y/N was just about finished when she heard a small knock at the lab entrance. She got up and walked towards the door, she wasn't expecting to see Bucky when she opened it. He stood with his hand clutching his metal shoulder, his hair was unkempt and he had bags under his eyes.

"Hey, I thought you went to bed. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, not really. I hate to ask you this, especially this late, but-"

Suddenly thunder echoed through the lab and Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and his breath began to shake, using his hand to add more pressure to his shoulder.

"My shoulder hurts, and my arm too kinda." He looked down not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Like phantom pain?" She questioned

"Y-yeah, it feels like pins and needles. The vibranium feels heavy."

"Are you asking me to help you?" She asked in disbelief.

"I-if you don't want to that's fine I can manage."

"No, no come in, sit down."

She led him to one of the beds and guided his hand off his shoulder, eager to work on the one person she hadn't helped.

He winced in pain as he moved, his hand letting up the pressure it was omitting on his upper arm.

"Sorry," she stepped back for a second, "I need you to take off your shirt." In the dimly lit lab she could see him blush a little. "It'll be better if I have direct contact to the skin."

He complied, slowly and painfully taking off his blue Henley. She walked around to the side of the bed to begin.

"I'm just going to put my hands on your shoulder, okay?"

He gave a very tight nod and she began. Her hands danced across the mess of scar tissue where metal crept into his skin. She couldn't help but felt bad for what Hydra did to him. His breath hitched but his back slowly became more relaxed. She could feel his heart rate slowing and his breath even out.

"I'm halfway done, are you okay? " she was concerned. She had never been able to do this for Bucky before and didn't know how he'd react.

"Mhmm." he seemed content.

She stopped and moved to his front to place her hands on his collar bone. She tried not to make it too awkward by making eye contact but she glanced up anyway and met his blue eyes. They both quickly looked away and Y/N turned her attention back to his arm. She stopped when she felt she couldn't do anything more to help with the pain.

"Done, does that feel better?"

He immediately brought her in for a hug and whispered a quite,

"Thank you."

She hugged back happily,

"You're welcome."

It gets better I promise. It was originally a one shot but it evolved.

23 notes · View notes

corazon-sanador · 10 days

Text

To heal, you must first decide which path to take: destruction or repair

#co star #not mine #literature #academia #poetry #writing #love #dark academia #romance #light academia #recovery #self help #self confidence #healing #motivation #inspiration

21 notes · View notes

danielleelizabethhh · 22 days

Text

Six Years

Six years later

The sunrise glows through my glass painted windows

Six years later

I drive in my car with my windows

down as the wind is kissing my cheeks

Six years later

I’m singing the songs that reminds me

of my heart breaks

Six years later

I’m writing poetry about the ones who

left their imprints on my heart

Six year later

I’m alive

and sharing nothing but

love

with the world-

even though the darkness

was my

closest

friend

21 notes · View notes

herrmannhalsteadproduction · 16 days

Text

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Three)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Road Trip, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Eventual Happy Ending

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter Three

You have ONE new message.

“Hey, man, it’s Ed. Sorry for the early call, just wanted to check in. I know you had your hands full getting Bex settled back in at home last night and you couldn’t make it out to the meeting, but we haven’t had a chance to talk really since everything, well…since everything. I know it’s been rough and you’re focused on Bex—and rightfully so, I get it. I just—listen, don’t forget yourself in all of this. It’s a lot to be dealing with and me and Chuck and everybody, we’re here for you, okay, Mouse? If you need to talk or have a break or whatever…we’re here…Okay. That’s all I got. Talk to you soon, bud. Count on it.”

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press NINE.

Are you still there?

To delete this message, press SEVEN. To save it, press—

Message saved.

***

Mouse

“Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Mouse could’ve almost bought Bex’s cocky offer if she wasn’t currently relying on the wall to keep herself upright. And the fact that she was turning an alarming shade of gray just from trying to walk to the elevator.

This was not going to end well.

Jay, like he’d heard Mouse’s thought and accepted it as a personal challenge, went on the offense as he shouldered past to get to Bex. “Negotiate? No, uh-uh,” he said, thrusting a hand out towards her. “Gimme your keys and we’re getting you back inside to rest.”

“Jay—”

“Quit arguing. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Will you please just listen to me for one second,” Bex yelled, pressing a hand to her forehead as she closed her eyes. She took a shaky breath before opening them again. “I can’t stay here knowing that Will’s having a hard time and that Emery is—that they’re waking her up soon.”

Jay sighed. “You going there won’t help—”

“Stop! I know! Okay? I know I can’t actually do anything for Will and that Connor has him covered, but Emery—” Bex’s eyes filled with tears and Mouse found himself moving before he had a chance to second guess himself.

He ducked around Jay and stepped into Bex’s space, slowly, giving her a chance to wave him off. Instead, she let out a soft noise and swayed toward him, dropping her forehead to his chest.

Mouse carefully brought his arms up around her and she mumbled something. “Say that again?” he asked quietly.

“I need to be there.” Bex turned her head so they could hear her and whatever her face was doing had Jay’s falling. “What if it was one of you? Wouldn’t you want to be there? So that when they woke up, they’d know that they’re safe?”

Jay met his eyes over Bex’s head and Mouse knew they were both thinking of the same moment.

Of Jay on a cot in a tent in the middle of nowhere and Mouse pushing through medics so he could be by his side. He would have fought through anyone to be there.

Knew in his bones Jay would have done the same.

Jay cursed softly under his breath, shoulders dropping as he dragged a hand over his face. They waited as he fought whatever internal battle he had to get through before he shook his head and shrugged. “None of us can go anywhere without shoes and actual clothes.” He made a ‘gimme’ gesture at Bex’s bag. “Keys.”

She handed it over wordlessly and he dug through until he found them, moving to open the front door. “We’re gonna get in so much shit for this,” he grumbled. “No, Kol, back up. You’re in trouble too, mister. Chris is gonna ground every single friggin’ one of us.”

Mouse and Bex followed him into the apartment as he kept muttering to himself, heading back toward the bathroom. “No one’s allowed to try and escape again while I’m in here,” he called out before closing the door.

“Bossy,” Mouse mouthed at Bex, hoping it would make her smile. She granted him a small one before it faded away into a frown.

“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?” Bex looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. “I’m sor—”

“Hey, no, don’t do that,” Mouse said as he pulled her into another gentle hug. “You’re not being stupid—you were right. I’d be doing the exact same thing if I was in your shoes. Or socks I should say.” She shook with a muffled laugh and he counted that as a win. “Yeah, maybe trying to sneak out was not one of your better plans, but I get it, Bex. I do.”

He let her go and tugged on one of the strings of his hoodie hanging over her shoulders. “This your special escapee outfit?”

“It’s cozy,” she sniffed at him, mouth twitching up at the corners. “And it matches my socks.”

“In that case, you should probably keep it.”

That got him a real, true Bex smile. “I don’t remember offering to give it back.”

“What is this?” Jay came hustling out of the bathroom, fully dressed finally. “Still no shoes? You just standing out here making heart eyes at each other?” He huffed as he hopped around pulling on his own shoes. “Kol, I thought you were supposed to be in charge?”

Kol popped up from where he’d been lounging on the couch and let out a little howl. Jay held up his hands in apology. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s more than a one-dog job.”

“You’re so ridiculous,” Bex said, laughing a bit as she stepped away from Mouse. “I’m getting them—oh—” Her eyelids fluttered as she tilted dangerously to the side.

“Whoa!” Jay leapt into action beside him. They both steadied her from either side and carefully maneuvered her over to sit on the couch, Kol whining as he wiggled back to make room. “I was just joking,” Jay said softly as he crouched down in front of her. “There’s no rush. We’ve got plenty of time.”

“No, I’m good, I’m fine.” Bex listed again as she tried to get up. “We can go right now.”

“Let’s take a minute anyway,” Mouse said. At this rate, they’d be taking her to the hospital to be readmitted. “I think maybe we need to get some more food and fluids into you?”

Bex grimaced, sinking back into the couch. “I would really like to not yak today.”

Mouse sent Jay a look that he hoped said ‘I’m here to help and be supportive and do what I can, but also, I’m the boyfriend and I refuse to be bad cop so that’s all you, dude.’

And then Jay sent him a look that clearly said ‘Fuck you, dude, but fine, whatever.’

Excellent communication. Go team.

Jay got to his feet with a groan, crossing his arms as he stared Bex down. “You’re going to have something else to eat, then another rest, and then we’ll go.” He held up a finger before she could open her mouth. “I already checked in with Connor and Kira while I was getting dressed. Will’s getting patched up again, but he’s going to be absolutely fine. They said this kind of thing happens and they caught it early so no one is worried. And Kira said the doctors don’t expect Emery to start waking up properly for at least another few hours. At least.”

He lowered his hand, the stern lines in his face softening. “I’m saying we’ve got time for you to take care of yourself, Bex,” he said. “Take a few hours so you can handle a proper visit, okay?”

“…fine,” Bex sighed.

“Awesome, I’ll get some of that soup reheated,” Jay said before turning to Kol. “Keep her on the couch, bud.”

Kol barked once before snuggling into Bex’s side.

“Ha ha, you’re all hilarious.” Bex immediately started giving Kol pets, even as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, Jay’s got soup,” Mouse said, pressing a kiss to Bex’s head before straightening up. “I’ll get drinks and maybe some more toast.” He was good at toast.

Jay punched his arm on the way to the kitchen.

“Ah, hey, what was that for?”

“You know exactly what that was for.”

Fair.

***

Bex

Bex had almost forgotten how much of a Mama Chicken Jay could be. Like, rivaling Chris levels. Once she got over being annoyed, she’d probably be impressed.

After the food and fluids and the intense efforts at not puking and then the pretending to be resting, it was late afternoon by the time they finally made it to Med. According to Connor, Will was still sleeping so they went to Emery’s floor first.

Kira came out as soon as she saw them in the hall, a wide smile on her face. “Bex,” she whispered as she wrapped her up in a hug. “You’re here!” The smile dropped as she pulled away, looking between her and Mouse and Jay. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be resting. And healing. And not rambling around the hospital.”

She shot a pointed look at Mouse and Jay who both held their hands up.

“Listen,” Jay began and Bex stepped in.

“I made them bring me,” she said, reaching out to grab Kira’s hand. “I had to—I needed to be here.” Bex took a deep breath. “How’s she doing?”

“Really well,” Kira said, squeezing her hand back. “Her stats keep improving and she’s already opened her eyes a couple of times. Had a bit of water. She falls back asleep like, immediately, so you haven’t missed much, but…it’s good, Bex. She’s good.”

And oh—that—

That had Bex choking back a sob as she peered over Kira’s shoulder into the room. “That’s really—”

“Good?” Kira offered with an equally watery grin.

“Yeah,” Bex nodded. “Can I—is it okay if I sit with her?”

“Why are you even asking? Come on.” Kira ushered her inside and got her set up in the chair beside Emery’s bed before leaving the room. She moved to sit in the lounge with Mouse and Jay—close enough to be there if they were needed, but still giving her some privacy.

Bex shuffled forward a bit in her chair and reached out to take Emery’s hand. “Hey,” she whispered. “It’s me again. I know—I can’t get enough of this place, right?”

The monitors beeped quietly around them. Bex focused on the rise and fall of Emery’s chest and the soft hiss of air as she breathed under the mask.

There was a hint of colour coming back into her cheeks.

That was good.

All of this is good, Bex reminded herself. It means she’s still alive. She’s healing.

“I’ve been back at the apartment,” she said, watching Emery’s face for any kind of movement. “Chris wanted me to go home to their place, but, uh—I’m—I’m at our place and Jay and Mouse are staying with me. They made this really…sort of unidentifiable, but also kind of delicious soup.” Bex laughed quietly. “I should freeze some so you can try it.”

Emery’s fingers twitched in hers.

“Em?” Bex’s breath caught in her throat. “Hey, I’m here. It’s Bex. I’m right here. Open your eyes, Emery. It’s okay.”

A soft groan made its way through the mask as Emery slowly blinked her eyes to halfway open. “Be—”

“Yes, hi, it’s me. It’s Bex.” She struggled her way out of the chair, ignoring the ripples of pain in her side so she could lean over Emery and be in her line of sight. “I’m right here, Emery.”

Emery reached up, patting at Bex’s cast. “You’re…hurt,” she whispered.

“Only a little,” Bex said. The tears filling her eyes started to spill over as pure relief flowed through her. Emery was awake. She was talking. She was here.

“Bex.” Emery gripped her hand, cheeks wet with her own tears. “Bex. Sorr—”

“Don’t you dare,” Bex said fiercely, leaning in close. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Emery Hughes or I will—I don’t know, but it’ll be drastic. This is not your fault. It’s his and we’re not giving him any space in here right now, okay? Because we are here. We made it. We’re alive and we’re going to be okay. That’s what matters. Do you hear me?”

Emery stared up at her, a whole battle clearly raging in her own head, but it wasn’t time for that. Not yet.

“We’re here,” Bex repeated, willing the words into Emery’s heart. “We’re alive. And we’re gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” Emery finally whispered.

“Exactly.” Bex smiled, moving back carefully to sit down again, but still close.

“Wait.” Emery frowned and Bex froze.

“What’s wrong? Should I get a nurse?”

“Mouse,” Emery said, somehow managing to raise an eyebrow through her still mostly out of it state. “…moved in?”

“That’s the part you heard?” Bex groaned out a laugh.

“Details.” Emery whispered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bex said, squeezing Emery’s hand gently. “I’ll tell you the whole not-actually exciting story when you wake up.”

Because Bex would still be there.

She didn’t think she could leave until it really sunk in.

Emery was here. She was alive.

And she was going to be okay.

“Promise?” Emery mumbled, already mostly back asleep.

“Yeah, Em,” Bex said. “I promise.”

***

Jay

Jay sat beside Mouse in the lounge, keeping a clear view of Bex sitting with Emery in the ICU. He still wasn’t sure if bringing her here was the best idea. Bex looked like a light breeze could knock her over and Emery probably wasn’t even going to remember this visit.

But Bex would.

And if it helped her settle and let her focus more on her own recovery, then wasn’t that a good thing?

That was the argument he was going to offer Chris anyway when he inevitably found out about this and tore a strip off of him. In the very kind and yet gut-wrenching way that only Chris seemed to manage.

Mouse elbowed him suddenly and Jay looked up to see Dr. Abrams striding toward them.

Oh.

Crap.

“Gentlemen,” Dr. Abrams said, arms folded as he stared down at them in a way that almost had Jay shrinking back into his seat. “I’m only going to ask this question once. Why do I see Ms. Herrmann sitting in the ICU when she is supposed to be at home? Resting. Which was doctor’s orders, I believe.”

Jay shot a look at Mouse who was giving him that same ‘not it’ look from the living room which was even less helpful now than it was then.

“Okay, um,” Jay began. “I can explain…”

“Oh, good,” Chris said, popping up out of freaking nowhere with that very distinct look on his face that Jay had been picturing since Bex tried to make a break for it and it was exactly as awful as he thought it would be. “Because, I gotta say, Jay, I would also love to hear how this happened.”

“First of all,” Jay said, stalling, trying to figure out where to start, maybe panicking a little bit. “It’s also Mouse’s fault.”

“Dude.”

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat, @lookingfortherainbow85

21 notes · View notes