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legiblyloathed · 1 year

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Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 1)

Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader

A/N: Okay, so the little blue haired menace has been rotting my brain for the past week, sue me. I tried to get him out of my brain by rewatching Gravity Falls, only for the episode “The Hand that Rocks the Mabel” to inspire a whole fanfic. Straight up water on a grease fire. Anyway, enjoy.

I always forget how much of a hassle moving is until it’s time to actually do it. Weeks spent selling and giving away half of my belongings, trying to shove the rest of them into boxes, then taking all of them into a new location only to have to figure out where all of them should go in the new space; it’s on the list of most mundane yet stressful life events a person has to put themselves through.

These were the feelings that hung around my being like a dark cloud for the past few weeks, but now, as I finally set my final knickknack in its chosen spot, I can feel the sun breaking through. I stand up and stretch as hard as I can, trying to wring the residual tension out of my spine. Even with my reduced number of belongings, it’s a lot of work to unpack them all, especially when working alone.

I didn’t have to do all the work myself. Within minutes of hauling stacks of boxes into my new house, I’d been approached by numerous rather colorful people, all very keen to lend a hand. As the newest neighbor in town, I was a curiosity to them, after all. I’d declined the offers, not wanting to place any burdens on the shoulders of my new potential friends. Looking back on it, that wasn’t my smartest move. Or maybe that’s just my aching muscles talking.

I’m dragged out of my tired contentment by the sound of a knock on the front door. Relaxing with a heaving sigh, I stroll over and peer out the peephole. Standing on my porch is a large, multicolored bird. My eyes dart to the plate of cookies balanced in her wings. With newfound excitement, I yank open the door and greet her with a smile.

The bird almost appears startled at this, the cookies on the plate jostling as she jumped. “Oh dear!” She shuffles the plate to her left hand, her right settling upon her chest as if to calm her heart. “You startled me for a moment!”

I give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Settling down, she waves her free wing dismissively. “Nothing to apologize for, I’m a bit prone to fright, is all.” As if remembering their existence, she extends the plate of cookies towards me. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I do hope you like them!”

“I’m sure I will!” I pull the plate from her grasp and hold it carefully to my chest, my mouth watering at the sugary smell. “They look and smell delicious, thank you so much…” I trail off, realizing in embarrassment that I never caught her name.

She seems to sense my hesitation, and beams in reassurance. “My name’s Poppy, Poppy Partridge.” I give her my name, mentally thanking her for the help. “It’s very nice to meet you, we haven’t had any new neighbors in a long time.”

“Really?” My head tilts to the side. “Why not? This place is beautiful.”

“Oh, I can’t say myself,” she sighs. “Suppose there’s just not much to around here.”

I shrug, trying to appear lighthearted. “It’s a pity.” She nods in agreement, and the conversation begins to lull. Not wanting to leave on such a sour note, I ask, “Out of curiosity, what do you like to do around here?”

“Me?” she squawks, looking taken aback. She fidgets with her feathers, her wings wringing around each other. “I suppose I like to bake, especially when the weather’s nice enough for a picnic.” I can almost see the lightbulb turn on above her head, and she turns her much cheerier gaze to my own. “Say, the rest of us were planning on a picnic this afternoon! Care to join us? It’d be a good time to meet your new neighbors.”

A sense of anxiety washes over me. The idea of being among that many strangers with such late notice flutters around in my stomach like butterflies. Without thinking, I begin to shift back and forth on my feet. “I… I don’t know, it’s very sudden…”

The bird wilts a bit, looking down at my porch. “Oh dear, it is, isn’t it? You must still be so busy with unpacking.”

I look up at her, my anxiety curdling into regret at her disappointment. I reconsider the situation. What’s an hour or two with a handful of strangers? There’s only nine houses in this town, counting my own, I can handle it. Having made up my mind, I shake my head. “No, no, I already finished unpacking. I’ll be there.”

Poppy perks up. “You will?” I smile, hoping she can’t see the hesitation in it. “That’s wonderful news!” She flaps her wings in excitement before stopping with a gasp of realization. “I have more baking to do, than! I’d better get going,” she says, turning to leave with one last wave of her big red wing. “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”

“See you soon!” I shout back, waving with the hand that wasn’t clutching the plate of cookies. As she goes further from my field of vision, I feel myself slump, the excitement of a new friend and a batch of treats wearing off to remind me of my exhaustion. My hand falls limp to my side and I stare at the plate in contemplation.

Nap? Or snack?

I pluck a cookie from the tray and take a bite, feeling myself melt at the incredible flavor. I scarf the rest of the sweet down before heading back inside, picking up another one as I go. Maybe just a few before I rest up.

—————————

I snap up on my couch, almost falling off of it in my sudden awakening. What time is it? A quick glance at the clock on my wall reveals it to be mid-afternoon, and I throw myself off my resting place so fast I nearly hit the floor. I scramble to the window and see a small crowd of people in the distance, the sounds of talk and laughter wafting in through the glass. I let out a sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t… that late. After a quick change and a once over in the mirror, I hurry out the door and towards the picnic.

As I approach, the jolly sounds become clearer, with voices all chattering their cares away. Colorful blankets are scattered across the clearing, each rife with sandwiches and sweets. I really hope they aren’t upset that I didn’t bring anything. As I scan my surroundings, I pick out Poppy as she talks with a caterpillar and head in her direction, relieved at the semi-familiar face.

As if on cue, my way is blocked by a short girl in a pink dress dragging along a disgruntled looking man with a bowtie. “Ooh, you must be the new neighbor!” she squeals, bouncing up and down in place, hands flapping in front of her chest. “We were so worried you weren’t gonna come! I’m Julie Joyful, and this,” she says as she grabs the arm of the man next to her, “is Frank Frankly! Say hi, Franky!”

“Uh… hello.” I pondered briefly if I looked as awkward as poor Frank did as he gave me a small wave. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I respond. As Julie begins to babble about her excitement, my eyes move to drift over the rest of the strangers. The vast majority are split off into their own small groups, with a single exception. Sitting on a bench under a large apple tree is a man who seems to be studying me the same way I’m studying him. One of his legs is crossed over the other, supporting his elbow as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at me with an intensity that sends a small shiver down my spine. And either I’m going crazy, or his lazy smile broadens ever so slightly at that.

I’m startled out of my impromptu staring contest by Julie, who seems to have noticed that I wasn’t listening and cranes her neck to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, have you met Wally yet?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet.” It takes all the willpower in my body not to meet those eyes that I can almost feel lingering on me.

The girl grins, grabbing my wrist. “Come on, you gotta meet him! I bet you two will get along like two peas in a pod!”

She begins to force me from my spot, and I feel myself start to panic. Before she can pull me away to the creepy man, Frank reaches out and stops her in her tracks. “Say, Julie, they don’t look too keen on it. Maybe they should take it slow, meet the others on their own time?” He gestures broadly to the snacks left sitting around. “They haven’t even gotten anything to eat yet, after all.”

Julie looks surprised at the intervention, a flash of guilt going over her face. “Oh my, you’re right, Frank! I’m so sorry, neighbor, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” At my dismissive hand wave, she changes course, instead pulling me to the piles of food. “Poppy told me she gave you some cookies, but just you wait ‘til you try her pie!” I turn to look at Frank, mouthing a ‘thank you’ at the grumpy looking man. He smiles a bit with a reassuring nod, and the three of us settle down on a blanket. For the rest of the picnic I eat while the two of them (mainly just Julie with the occasional comment from Frank) talk about all kinds of things.

I try hard to pretend I can’t feel the eyes burning into the back of my head.

—————————

The sound of a steady, rhythmic knock wakes me up the next morning. I rub the sleep from my eyes, noting with absent mind how high the sun had already risen. The three slow knocks reverberate through my house once again, and I roll out of bed and head towards the front door, not bothering to change out of my pajamas or even look through the peephole. This, as it turns out, is a bad move on my part.

I yawn as I open the door, only for it to become a strangled cough as I lock eyes with the one resident I didn’t want to see this early. The man, or Wally as Julie had called him, stood on my porch, his face as eerily relaxed as ever. His posture was straight, his clothes neat, his appearance put together; I don’t think he could be any more of a contrast to my current state if he actively worked towards it. Which, to be frank, I suspect he did.

Just like the last time I’d encountered him, the two of us looked as if we were having a staring contest. Unlike last time, however, this time he decides to break the silence. “Hi, neighbor.” His voice is soft and monotonous, each syllable dragging along in no hurry. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

Somehow, I doubt that. In an attempt to relieve the strange tension, I let out a stilted laugh. “Yeah, you did, but it’s fine. I overslept, anyway.” He hums in acknowledgement, and it takes a few long seconds for me to realize he doesn’t plan on responding. Eager to hurry along this interaction so I can dart back into my house and hide from those piercing eyes, I prompt, “Something I can help you with, Wally?”

He tilts his head. “I never told you my name.”

“Yeah, no, you uh, you didn’t. Julie told me yesterday. At the… the picnic.”

“Oh, right. You three looked like you had a good time.”

“We did! We did…”

“Hmm.” His smile stretches, looking pleased by that confirmation. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re settling in okay. I’ve heard it can be awful hard to make new friends, but you have a way of drawing people in, huh?” Cutting me off before I can ask for elaboration, Wally continues. “Speaking of drawing, I was hoping you might join me for some painting today, down by the south woods.”

“Oh!” I blurt out, taking a moment to process the invitation. “I’m not exactly much of an artist, myself.”

He laughs, and it’s every bit as emphatic as the rest of his speech. “Oh, neighbor, that doesn’t matter. We all start somewhere, and besides, I’d like the company.”

I consider turning him down flat, but something tells me he’s a bit too persuasive for me to keep him at bay forever. With a grin so forced it hurts, I say, “Sounds like fun! I’ll be there.”

Wally’s head bobs in a slow nod, and he takes a step back from the door. “I’m glad to hear it. See you soon, neighbor.”

I return the nod and raise a hand in a brief wave. “See you soon.” His stare remains, and just as I ready myself to ask him to stop, he finally, finally, turns away and walks away, humming a quiet tune to himself.

I step inside and close the door, leaning my forehead against it as I recover from the encounter. My stomach growls, but I feel as though I’ve lost my appetite. The inexplicable dread in my heart squashes any hope of breakfast. I close my eyes, but even then I can still see his own staring back, unblinking in their ceaseless observation. With a shudder, I push myself up, trying my best to steel my nerves. It’s just a little art lesson, I chastise myself. So he’s a little spooky, it’s probably fine.

No matter how many times I repeated those three words to myself, the memory of those eyes seems to peer right through the lie.

#yandere wally darling #wally darling x reader #yandere wally darling x reader #yandere x reader #yandere welcome home #male yandere #tw yandere #yandere #x reader #horror #ain’t he darling

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forfucksakesniall · 1 year

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"Can't Help Falling in Love"

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Summary: Falling inlove with Lewis Hamilton

Word Count: 525

Masterlist

As I sit lost in thought about Lewis, my heart races with excitement and fear. For some time now, I've harbored feelings for him, but I've never had the courage to express them. At first, I believed it was just a passing fancy, but as we've spent more time together, my emotions have grown deeper.

I yearn for us to embrace the discomfort and vulnerability that comes with opening up to each other. Let's hold onto each other through thick and thin, finding solace and safety in each other's arms. We can find humor in our blunders, cherish the simple moments, and cry together when needed. We should be receptive to all the good things life has to offer, discover life's beauty as a duo, and support each other through the bad times.

Our potential to become something truly special is unmistakable. Despite our different backgrounds, our hearts beat in unison. My attraction towards him is undeniable, and I comprehend that it's more than just a momentary infatuation. Lewis possesses a combination of traits that I find enthralling.

For example, his fervor is infectious, driving everything he does. Whether it's on the racetrack or in his personal life, he is unwavering in his pursuit of his goals. Like when he worked tirelessly to win the championship race, despite the odds being against him.

He is acutely perceptive of the world around him, attuned to people's feelings and emotions, and is not afraid to show his own. I remember when he comforted me after a tough day, his empathy and understanding were comforting.

His bravery in being vulnerable is commendable. Lewis is intrepid, taking chances, testing boundaries, and willing to reveal his flaws. This vulnerability makes him even more endearing. I recall when he opened up to me about his fears and insecurities, it made me feel closer to him.

He is fully present in each moment, committed to the people and experiences in his life. His enthusiasm is contagious, making anyone want to be a part of whatever he is doing. Like when he took me on a spontaneous adventure, his excitement was contagious and we had an unforgettable time.

For me, being with Lewis is like being in a beautiful dream. He is gorgeous inside and out, bold and daring, and unafraid to pursue his dreams. He is addictive in the most wonderful way.

So here I am, acknowledging that my feelings for him are authentic. I'm not sure where it will take us, but I'm inexplicably drawn to him. He is exceptional, and I am grateful to have him in my life.

As I sit there lost in thought about Lewis, he interrupts me, calling out my name. My heart races as he approaches me.

"What were you thinking about?" he inquires curiously, searching my eyes.

"Just lost in thought," I reply nonchalantly.

Lewis doesn't push any further, settling beside me as we continue our conversation. I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling his warmth as he wraps his arm around me. The way his eyes look at me, as if he can see straight through me, makes me feel special.

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nostromo13 · 4 months

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Marry the Sea

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Pairing: Nalu

Rating: Gen

Summary: Usually Natsu felt like he knew everything when it came to Lucy. He knows she loves him but now it's come time to propose and he's not so sure if marriage is something she wants.

This was written for @fleuve-des-etoiles for the @allaboutnalu 2023 Gift Exchange. Sorry it took so long to get out. Life has me busy but I loved writing this.

I owe a big thank you to Tokkias for being my beta for this fic. She put so much work into this, so smooches for her

AO3 Link

Lucy didn’t like surprises. Her friends knew her birthdays weren’t to be made a fuss of and any special achievements such as her book award required no more than a personal, close-circle dinner at a budget-friendly restaurant. No splashing out on her account.

If she took the care to analyse this feeling properly she could probably identify the source as some unspecifiable upset from the hundreds of surprises that came from having wealth. There were the low-effort, entirely symbolic trinkets that counted as birthday presents from her father – usually bought by the house staff – which didn’t make for a great foundation of trust in gift giving. And there were the bountiful gifts from potential courters, all with a transparent intention behind them wrapped up in crepe paper and finished with professionally tied bows. She had had enough of gifts by the time she left the Heartfilia mansion.

As such, a dilemma arose upon the start of her relationship with Natsu. Her love language was quality time, either by themselves or with Happy. It didn’t matter where, as long as she could enjoy her time with her new boyfriend. Natsu's, however, was gift giving.

Lucy had explained to him after the third little trinket that he had given her for no particular reason other than he liked it and thought it would look pretty on her that she simply wasn’t interested in that sort of thing. It set off something in her that made her want to cry that she wasn’t his dress-up doll and she hated feeling like someone else was trying to make her pretty or put her on display.

She knew it wasn’t like that, though. Natsu, for all his dragon tendencies, wanted to make her smile with his giving. She wasn’t his hoard – although wherever that was hidden away it did have a lot of similar jewellery to the sort she wore. She wished she could make more room for his love language and as such she let him go all out for birthdays and Christmas. She tried to meet his gusto when she could.

After four years of resigning gifts as a solely birthday affair, Natsu now had to figure out how to propose to her without touching the nerve that led straight to the ‘gift’ trigger portion of Lucy’s brain. He had even pulled in the big guns to help him plan the right approach.

“I don’t see how it’s the same thing as a gift. I think she’ll be fine with it, Natsu.” Levy was offering her insight, albeit unhelpfully so far.

They had gathered along with Gray, excluding the rest of their team because Erza had the tact of a pinwheel and would blow the operation in her next conversation with Lucy and the guilt of keeping a secret would eat away at Wendy from the inside out. The Exceeds had never really gotten the hang of human dating rituals. Case and point Happy understanding his finally winning Carla over as the result of his continued fish offerings.

“If it feels like the natural time for you both, I don’t see why you shouldn’t.” Levy continued as Natsu shook his head.

“What if it’s the right time for me but it isn’t for her? I don’t want to push her.”

“You don’t want it to be a repeat of Joe. That’s what you’re worried about.” Gray interjected. As much as they grated on each other, Gray was good at being his back up when Natsu truly needed it. It was a once in a blue moon occurrence but Natsu couldn’t help but be glad for his long-term nemesis right now.

Joe had been Lucy’s boyfriend prior to Natsu at 22 and things had gotten pretty serious. They had done all but move in together when Joe popped the question and it had sent Lucy running in the other direction. She had loved him and she had loved his family, but for whatever reason that Natsu hadn’t deciphered in the three years since then that he and Lucy had been dating, she hadn’t been ready to get married.

“It won’t be another Joe.” Levy spoke rather sternly. The script mage was convinced that just because he was Natsu and he was Lucy’s partner, that they were eternally bonded and Lucy wouldn’t dream of turning down his proposal. All he had to do, in her eyes, was gather the balls to ask.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be nervous.” Levy shifted her tone when she realised she was erring on the side of unsympathetic. “Of course you’re going to be nervous. She’s the love of your life.”

Gray made a nauseous face at that, earning a playful elbow from Natsu. “Maybe a ring isn’t the right move.” He added, trying to be at least somewhat helpful.

“Lucy’s never responded well to jewellery.” Natsu agreed, getting an immediate objection from Levy.

“She liked that last necklace you got her. She wears it all the time.”

“And she helped me find the ring I proposed to Juvia with.” Gray added.

Natsu gave it a hard thought. “Did she give any indication of whether she would want one? From me?”

“We didn’t talk about it. She was dating him at the time and it didn’t really seem relevant. She was always going to end up with you anyway.”

That seemed to calm him a little. His nerves were racing even through the planning stage but if everyone else saw what he had from way before the war with the Alvarez empire that maybe, just maybe, Lucy loved him as much as he did her.

Or very possibly it wasn’t about love and marriage just wasn’t something she wanted, in which case they would work around it.

Having given all the advice she could reasonably give, Levy called over her husband, currently arrested himself in the demand of two four year olds gripping onto his arms and dangling off the floor.

“Did Salamander decide whether he was gonna do it or not?” He asked, directing his question to his wife as if the other two weren’t sitting across from her.

“Yeah, I think I will.” Natsu replied. “It’s all I want right now and I want to at least have the conversation with her.”

“That’s the right spirit, Natsu.” Levy agreed.

Gajeel guffawed in his gravelly voice, the sharpest of his teeth showing in his amusement. “Make sure ya get a return receipt on that ring.”

Yeah, that didn’t help.

------------

When the day finally came, Natsu had everything planned down to the minute. He had put more effort into this than anything else in his life – including the trials in which he had succeeded at gaining S-Class mage status.

He was intent on at least talking to Lucy about it even if she didn’t end up saying yes right there. The worst-case scenario was her doing the same thing she did to her ex and bolting after the smallest explanation she could muster. Only this time Natsu wasn’t an outsider to the guild and it would affect their whole social lives and work.

They had just finished a mission together when they were off on their date. Casual clothing – nothing that could tip her off or make it so big a deal that she would feel pressured. They’d gathered a few foods from her kitchen, put them in a basket so they would be easier to carry and set off for the park for an afternoon lunch.

“I love Jason but I sometimes wish he wasn’t so pushy with getting me to ask my friends if they will do shoots for him.” Natsu listened as Lucy described her recent run in with their favourite reporter. He and Lucy really were good friends from her time as a journalist with Sorcerer Weekly but since then Jason, feeling the pressure from his bosses to churn out more content of Fiore’s top guild, had been trying to use his connection with Lucy to influence Mira and the other Fairy Tail girls to model for him. While they were happy to, on occasion, the weekly permanent contracts that Jason was pushing for weren’t conducive to the busy life of a Fairy Tail Mage.

“What did he say when you asked him to stop?”

“He just got all sad.” Lucy shrugged. “I know it’s none of my responsibility and he’s not trying to make it so it is but I feel kind of bad.”

“Eh, it’s his job, and it sounds more like his bosses are screwing up.”

Her boyfriend, ever the blunt one. Lucy chuckled to herself. “It’s not like that in that world of work. He can’t just drop a client like us because he doesn’t like the way they speak. You can’t just change your bosses.”

“Sounds dumb.” He shook his head. It took a second for him to realise how dismissive he might have sounded. “I’m glad you came back with me instead of staying at that job.” He added softly.

“Me too.” She smiled at him.

They had known generally what area they would sit in when they entered the park. Picnics weren’t out of place for them and Lucy particularly loved sitting near the duck pond so they aimed for about there. They managed to find a nice shady spot that got enough of the Spring breeze but also the summer warmth that May was beginning to invite in.

Lucy waited for Natsu to finish spreading out the blanket before placing their items down and unpacking their basket. Some fruits, some sweeter snacks for later and Marmalade sandwiches, a quirk Lucy had brought with her from her hometown that, when she had introduced it to Natsu, it had become a firm favourite. Now, whenever they passed through Acalypha on the way back from a mission, she always made sure to pick up a fresh jar.

Natsu reached for the Tupperware of cakes, stopping himself just as his fingers met the rim of the plastic. He wanted to be on his best behaviour today and going for dessert first didn’t fall under that. Unless doing just that would tip her off. And surely he should act like his usual self today.

As if answering his question, his fingers were moved out the way by more dainty ones. He watched as Lucy removed the lid for him, taking a slice of Battenberg from the options and raising it to her lips, taking a big bite.

He watched almost in awe. Lucy never broke social etiquette, especially not around food. He was pretty sure such a thing went against her coding.

“Go on Natsu.” She smiled widely at her sputtering boyfriend. She brushed a few crumbs from the corner of her mouth where her unusual haste had spread some.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He took the plate she offered, filling his plate so full that the weight of the mini cakes and the structure of the plate made it look like a paper plate taco in his grip.

Eventually they got through the deserts and onto the sandwiches, Lucy admittedly feeling a little sickly after so much sugar. That was never a hazard for her partner. They had struck up in that time a conversation debating which of their guildmates would win a Ninja obstacle course – whatever one of those was.

The debate had reached the point where Natsu had stood up, waving his arms about, animatedly presenting his argument as to why Laxus could not win at the inflatable obstacle course section.

“He would blow up the course because of the static electricity or something. He couldn’t touch the thing without it exploding beneath him because his electricity would fuck everything up, right?”

“I thought magic was banned from this.” Lucy asked, taking another bite of a sandwich. “I think he would just run around, anyway.”

“No, that would be banned.”

“But the Exceeds flying isn’t?”

“Yeah, well, the floor is Lava or something, I don’t know.” He grinned, not deflated at all by her pragmatism. This was how their conversations usually went on dates like this. She would propose some stupid idea – the Guild Obstacle Course coming from her mind and not his– and Natsu would take it and run with it while she offered a more practical perspective on things.

He sat himself down beside her, arms outstretched on the grass as she leaned into his shoulder. “I think Erza would win.”

“Yeah, she would.” He agreed, more occupied with the feel of her hair against his cheek than expanding on their argument.

“Although.” Lucy began to add, popping her head up suddenly from their rest, “Sabertooth could give us a good run for our money.”

“But they’re not in the guild.”

“So, we’d open it up to other guilds. We could make a rival Grand Magic Games.”

“With no magic?”

“Oh, yeah.” She seemed to sink back into thinking. Before she could think up a new line of enquiry, Natsu thought it best to try and steer her onto a more affectionate type of conversation. Hopefully that would calm the thrumming in his chest that had taken route there the night before.

“Cana’s been talking about proposing to Abigail.” Smooth, dragon slayer. He chastised himself for showing his talent for bluntness.

Lucy smiled, though showing no suggestion that she had caught onto his internal anxiety. “I like Abi. I think she’s been really good for Cana and Cana’s been good for her.”

“The guild’s income has been suffering from it.”

“More alcohol for Macao’s lot, I guess.”

They shared a laugh. Opening his eyes, Natsu looked at her as she giggled. Her eyes were on the duck pond where a small cluster of the ducks of Magnolia South Gate Park were gathered, picking their lunch out of a soggy white bread loaf that some teenagers had chucked into the pond whole. Sometimes she smiled as if she was so entirely content with life. Ducks made her content, Wednesday evenings with him made her content, as did birthday parties and nights out with their friends. He hoped it didn’t mean there wasn’t room for more in their relationship. That maybe she was too content with her life as it was now for things to change.

The weight of the box in his pocket felt heavier as he watched, requiring a quick shake of the head to reset the feeling. He could only talk to her.

“Lucy.” Natsu spoke, thanking his voice for not giving out on him when it counted. She gave him her attention, smiling because there was no way she could see the anxiety bubbling inside his gut. At least that settled him a little. “If I proposed, what would you say? I already have the ring. I just need to know if that is something you would want.”

Lucy’s smile dropped into surprise. Her stare was stuck on his, and for a moment the cogs seemed to slow. But not into a stressed jutting, more into a peaceful, steady clicking.

Her smile bloomed.

“I would say yes.”

If she expected the conversation to end there, she didn’t stop him as he moved onto one knee. His hand tugged the box from the pocket of his trousers, presenting its black velvet exterior before effortlessly prizing it open. Her eyes widened as if she hadn’t realised that he had meant now, but she easily found herself settling into the pull of it.

“Lucy. You’re my best friend.” Natsu felt his cheeks ache with his broad grin. “I think you might be the best thing that ever happened to me and Happy. Even if you’re not always happy with us and we insult you sometimes. You let me take you on adventures and you make me feel comfortable because that is just what you do. You make everyone feel okay with being themselves around you. I think you’re so strong and kind and I love watching you practice your magic because you just care about your spirits, without anyone asking you to. I think it’s incredible. I love you and I want to marry you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Lucy half-whispered. “Yes, I will.”

She met him on his knees, her hands clutching onto his shoulders as she kissed him over and over. “Can I put the ring on you?” He asked between pecks.

She nodded, leaning into his shoulder as he tugged the ring from its hold in the velvet. The kiss had made her breathless but the feel and sight of him slipping the ring on her left hand had the sort of butterflies she had only felt with him making her skin tingle. “Natsu, it’s beautiful.”

The ring itself was simple but vintage – not that he could spell the word – and had a round garnet set in the middle. He had chosen it by himself but at Levy’s instruction he had taken one of Lucy’s rings with him for the sizing. It was still loose by a small bit but they could get it resized no problem. Right now he was just happy it was a hit. “Gods, I would’ve been okay if you had just wanted to date instead of getting married but I’m so glad I won’t have to return the ring. The shop man was super weird.”

“Was it that shop just off the marketplace? Levy says that guy is super intense about green engagement rings and thinks everyone should have one.”

He chuckled, unaware that such a guy had existed. “No, I got it in Hargeon.”

“Oh,” She felt her blush blossom more.

“Shit, I love you.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “I was so worried you’d say no.”

“Why would I?” She had to take a second to think. “I sort of knew you were going to propose. I would have said something sooner if I didn’t want you to.”

“You knew?”

“I– yeah. I’ve been nervously rambling all afternoon. Could you not tell?” She laughed. An hour ago she was barely making it through a conversation without blurting whatever she could think about, work, and modelling and whatever. Natsu had never been one to ignore her when she felt like she was being boring but she wouldn’t have blamed him for a disinterested sound.

“Why were you nervous?” His brow had softened and he’d taken to stroking her fingers between his own wanting to listen.

“I didn’t want to accidentally ruin whatever you had planned. I don’t know, really. You can always sort of tell when a guy’s about to propose but you never know when it’ll happen.”

“Did you know with Joe?”

Lucy swallowed, nodding. “He sort of got happy whenever he was around me. And since I didn’t really want that with him I just ignored it until I couldn’t any longer.”

“But you do want this with me?”

“Yes.” She nodded harder. “I didn’t know it at the time but I broke things off with him because of you. I think you’ve always been in my heart even if it took me a while to realise it.” She didn’t let him speak. “I love you and I want this with you, more than anything.”

Natsu kissed her again, hands pressed to her cheeks to pull her in and she smiled into it. His fingers tangled into her hair and he sighed, finally content. He had everything he wanted right here and he could spend his lifetime making her happy.

#nalu #fairy tail #nalu gift exchange 2023 #nalu gift exchange #nalu fanfic #nalufanfiction #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #nalu proposal

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sl-newsie · 2 months

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Behind Masks (Dr. Jonathon Crane x OC) Ch. 1: Introductions

“You can’t keep me here! I demand a lawyer! I am an associate of the Hell’s Gate Psychiatric Institution and will not tolerate this denial of justice!”

The security guard bangs his baton against the bars again. “Quiet, Prentiss! You’re lucky you get your own cell. Or would you rather have to share?”

My gaze throws daggers. “I’ll have you know that I am perfectly sane and do not belong in this asylum. I will not cooperate until I speak to a lawyer.”

“That’s too bad,” the guard taunts. “‘Cause I got strict orders not to allow you any visitors.”

I gawk at his idiotic face. “On whose authority?”

“You’ll meet him once his current session is over,” he says as he walks down the hall away from my cell. "I think it’s with Croc if I’m not mistaken.”

Croc? As in Killer Croc? God, why didn’t I just play the game? Why did I have to go beyond my jurisdiction? I already knew Gotham was a rigged and twisted system the second I got here. I’ve gone from a respected psychiatrist to the very type of person I’m supposed to be above. Now all I have to my name is an orange jumpsuit, a pair of cheap sneakers, a toothbrush, and a small copy of the Bible.

How long have I been waiting? There’s no clock, no windows. No clue to anything happening outside. All I see are beige hallways spanned into a webbed labyrinth that’s meant to keep patients from escaping. Keep me from escaping.

Thud-thud. Thud-thud.

Muffled footsteps echo down through the hall, potentially signaling my approaching contact. At first my heart soars at the hope of finally talking to someone in authority who can get me out; yet as the footsteps grow louder there’s something about them that sends a chill down my spine. It can’t be him. God, I hope it’s not him-

It’s him.

I’ve heard rumors of the dark secrets that go on at Arkham. Crackheads slicing open arteries, schizophrenics keeping doctors up for days on end. One that always highlights itself above the rest is the Scarecrow. And he just opened my cell door.

What I notice first is the eyes. Cold, icy-blue eyes so full of curiosity yet still impassive. Those cold and calculating eyes stare straight through and scan me. It’s a silent battle of how hard his stare can press until I break. I also see how he’s managed to keep his job. One might say he’s handsome but I know better. Just because you were a clean suit does not mean your soul is spotless. He may be able to charm his way into Arkham but I’ll never give in.

“Good afternoon, Ms…?”

The voice doesn’t help either. He does it well. Calm, soft, and smooth. Typical therapist nonsense I see in my line of work every day. Let’s see if I can win this game.

“You should have access to my file, sir. Introductions should not be necessary.”

The man’s eyebrows raise in response to my equally calm tone. Keep the voice calm, keep the eyes alert. I need to discreetly establish dominance in this conversation in order to gain leverage.

“I do have your file. But I prefer personal introductions with my patients.” The man sets a briefcase on the nearby table and takes a seat, then gestures for me to join him. “No need to hide. I’m here to help.”

Straight to the point I see. No use trying to beat around the bush. I step away from the corner I’m leaning against but refuse to sit down.

“There was a mistake.”

The man frowns and pulls out a pad to start taking notes. “What do you mean?”

He wants me to talk, so I will. “I mean I’m not supposed to be here. Someone paid off the judge to have me locked up, and the judge has had it out for me ever since I dug up his affair with the mayor’s wife.”

This intrigues the therapist as he jots down more notes, still looking up to keep his eyes piercing into me. “Are you a reporter?”

“Far from it. I am- was a psychiatrist in Metropolis. I was called to Gotham to help the mayor’s son. No one else was willing to work here.”

“And you are?” He asks with slight surprise though he tries to hide it.

“Metropolis can only take my curiosity so far,” I mutter. “Gotham is unique.”

More scribbling. I must say he’s much more organized than other professionals I’ve worked with. All the more reason to be concerned with the outcome of this conversation.

“I’m going to ask you some questions to start forming your profile.” Crane turns over an hourglass and clicks his pen open.

Basic protocol. There’s no way I’m giving him everything. Thankfully I’ve learned to avoid the telltale signs of lying.

“Full name?”

“Calico Marie Prentiss.”

“Pretty. Family name, I presume?”

Trying to soften me up and dig into my family history. “My father likes unique names, my mother prefers traditional ones. So they compromised.” Use present tense.

“How is your relationship with your family?” the man asks softly.

He has my family history. My job required me to keep an updated profile on personal matters to validate my own mental health. In other words just an excuse for the bored guys at the top to snoop.

“Currently undecided.” They’re dead. What else am I supposed to say?

“Ms. Prentiss, your parents-”

“With all due respect, sir, can we move things along and save that topic for later?” Just get to the part when I can get out of here!

My stern request doesn’t seem to faze the man. “Do you have supportive people in your life?”

Trying to bring me down by addressing empathy links. “People, no. I have other methods of support. And before you ask, I have never done drugs.”

He nods. “Current relationship status?”

This trips my mind a bit. Must be a new questionnaire protocol?

“Single,” I enunciate in a cold voice.

“Interesting…” More scribbling. Jesus, is he writing a book about me? “Normally people like you are either engaged, married, or divorced. Very rarely do I see any single psychiatrists. Attractive, smart, rich. Very appealing characteristics for a relationship, don’t you think?”

Hm. He asked a question that isn’t based on my profile. Is this for genuine curiosity or a topic of interest for him? After a few seconds of silence go by he continues.

“Your toxicology screening came back clean, as you mentioned before. How many partners have you encountered?”

The question rings in my ear and for an instant my mask slips, but I’m quick to recover.

“None.”

Once again the therapist is surprised. “Catholic, are we?”

“I have my morals. I’m too busy to be worrying about sex, sir. My job comes first.”

More scribbling. God, how much longer?

“Are you having suicidal thoughts right now, or have you had suicidal thoughts within the past month?”

If this questioning goes any longer I may consider it.

“No.”

“Are you having homicidal thoughts, or have you had homicidal thoughts in the past month?”

“Never.”

“How do you cope with stress?”

“Exercise and hard rock. You should try it sometime.” I’m starting to lose my patience and I have to take a slow breath. This is just what he wants. Calm down.

The man hums. “What are some of your strengths?”

“I’m punctual and have a traditional mindset. This tends to drive away disagreeing parties, which is why I’m here.” I step closer and place my hands on the table to face him directly. “You are a head staff member here whether it’s morally correct or not. All I ask is to please allow me to speak to a lawyer, or at least a transfer to Gotham Penitentiary. I am not insane.”

“Morally correct…” he lingers on the thought and tilts his head. “Why would you say that, Ms. Prentiss?”

Just as I thought before, no use beating around the bush.

“I know who you are. Jonathan Crane, a former professor of psychology who’s obsessed with fear. Now you work here experimenting on patients behind the warden’s back.”

Crane’s eyes spark at the mention of fear. Must be a trigger word, perhaps for old memories. “Are you sure you’re not a reporter?” he asks, still in the same soft tone.

I shake my head. “Just a woman who’s not afraid to step on any toes.”

“Ah.” Crane stands up slowly and rummages through his briefcase. After tucking away his notes he looks up with a look that makes my blood run cold.

“Would you like to see my mask?”

#jonathon crane #jonathon crane x reader #dr jonathan crane #scarecrow x reader #scarecrow #poison ivy #the riddler #harley quinn #the joker #two face #the penguin #batman #batman begins #the dark knight #the dark knigth rises #gotham #gotham tv #cillian murphy

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matwith1t · 3 years

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A/N: Back with angst 👊 Fair warning, this fic is pure angst. All of it 🔪 It’s heavily inspired by Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, and it’s the fic where I project my fear of staying stagnant in life (oops). I have a somewhat working outline for a part 2, but I’d love to know your thoughts!! Also, this fic has a brief smut scene, so if you’re not 18+ hop on over to my masterlist for something else !

Summary: Your long-term relationship with Mat brought you more happiness than anything else in the world. But one day, something in your gut felt different, an emotion that you couldn’t quite place felt off. And maybe, that feeling was the catalyst for you wanting a change in life.

MASTERLIST | LET’S CHAT 🥂 | Mat Barzal x Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, Smut, Swearing // WC: 11.2K // Angst

The sun felt warm against your face and the grass beneath you tickled your ankles. With the month of May nearing its end, the sweet smell of spring could still be detected in the air during the seasonal transition to summer. From a distance, the soft sounds of children laughing while running through the park tugged your lips upward into a small smile.

A sense of ease flooded your body as you laid directly on the grass with your arms tucked behind your head. The vital force that came with being outside in the springtime energized your body to the point where you felt your body produce more natural endorphins. You treasured the outdoors––it would always remain a sacred place for you––but as you laid upon the grass, an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach clawed its way up at a deliberately slow, and unwarranted, pace.

It felt like a secret message your body was trying to communicate with you, but you didn’t have the tools on how to decode it.

The feeling came in and out, like ocean tides, but you did your best to push it aside when the uneasiness surfaced. So far, everything in your life had been smooth sailing––everything had been going according to plan––so you never paid that feeling any attention.

There wasn’t anything in your life that you wanted to change.

With a deep breath, you tried to inhale as much of the fresh spring air as possible.

“Hey, sleepy.”

With one eye squinted open, you brought a hand from behind your head to shield the sun rays from blinding your face. And when your vision adjusted to the sunlight, you saw your boyfriend at an upside down angle. In his arms he held a blanket as he waved down at you. A smile instantly graced your lips as you shut both of your eyes, before opening them slowly.

As Mat shook out the blanket before spreading it out on the grass, you sat up, and stuck your legs straight out, “You’re a bit late.”

Without looking at you, Mat rolled his eyes, “Practice ran late.”

When the blanket was laid out on the grass, Mat sat down and patted the spot next to him. With a smile, you made your way to sit next to him. Your smile widened when you saw he already had an arm raised for you to tuck yourself into his side.

“It was a morning practice,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, “It’s nearly four in the afternoon.”

With adoration in his eyes shining just as bright as the spring sun, you felt yourself fall more in love with him. His hand dangled over your shoulder as he lazily traced circles on your upper arm, “Tito wanted ice-cream.”

A laugh of amusement, mixed with disbelief, escaped your lips as you placed both hands on his chest to push him away, “You liar.”

With your shove, Mat tightened his arm around your shoulder as the two of you fell backward on the blanket laughing. As you laid on your side, Mat readjusted his arm around you, with your head on his shoulder. His sweatshirt felt soft, and his chest continued to shake with laughter.

“Practice did run late,” Mat reiterated his first point, to which you only hummed in acknowledgement, “And then Tito said he wanted ice-cream, but he wanted to go to this specific shop.” Mat placed a kiss on your temple, “Would’ve told him to go alone if I knew how much time it’d take.”

Again, you hummed, as you rested a hand on his stomach, “Did you at least tell your boyfriend that your girlfriend said hi?”

Mat scoffed at your remark and poked your stomach in retaliation. You laughed at his childish behavior and moved a bit down the blanket so your head now rested just below his heart. He pulled you closer to him, and with your face nuzzled into his sweatshirt, you took a deep breath and savored how much his sweatshirt smelled like home to you.

He smelled almost as good as spring.

The hand that you had on his stomach rose up and down with his even breathing. And as you laid outside on the grass, surrounded by the spring air and the person you loved most in your life, you felt nothing but peace. Comfortable silence wasn’t uncommon in your relationship. While his voice soothed your most anxious thoughts… hearing the birds sing their melodies, listening in on the slight rustle of tree leaves whenever the wind blew, and the sound of steady breathing, paired with Mat’s slightly faster heartbeat, was more calming than anything.

“I can’t wait until that’s us.”

You peered up at Mat to see his vision locked in on something to his right. In order to see what he was referring to, you propped your chin up on his chest. It didn’t take you long to see that something was really a someone. And upon squinting to get a better look, that someone turned out to be a man, woman, and a child.

Your only response to him was a hum as you traced shapes on his stomach, hoping that your touch was strong enough to distract him from the conversation you knew he was about to bring up.

“I love you,” his words were strong, not faltering in the slightest, as he stared down at you with a promising look in his eyes. He picked up your hand––ultimately putting a stop to what you had hoped would distract him from this exact conversation––and pressed a delicate kiss to your knuckles, “So much.”

Mat gently placed your still connected hands on his stomach as you craned your neck up to press a kiss to his cheek, “I love you, too.”

He squeezed your hand twice, a look of amazement in his eyes as he stared up at the sky with a soft smile, “In a few months, It’ll be six years since we’ve been together.”

Your head softly fell back onto his chest as you nodded. Because while you’ll be celebrating six years of officially being in a relationship, the two of you had known each other much longer. He was the annoying kid at the end of the cul-de-sac who chased you around front yards and threatened to give you cooties. And you were the little girl who ran away from him, pretending to be disgusted whenever he got too close, but secretly loved his attention.

And that’s when your crush on him began.

From playing group games with other kids at neighborhood block parties, pairing up to sit next to each other on the bus in elementary school during field trips, to Mat asking you to the winter formal in eighth grade on a dare…Your infatuation towards him only grew.

By the time you were both eighteen, Mat realized his feelings, and asked you out on a date.

Playing games with other kids went to spending one-on-one time with Mat on dates. Sitting next to each other on the school bus as little kids went to Mat picking you up in his car as teenagers. And going to dances together was no longer the end product of a dare.

Even when Mat went to Seattle to play hockey, the two of you still kept the connection while you stayed in Canada. The four years of University were easier; with Mat playing for the New York Islanders, and your top choice for school was in New York City, it didn’t take more than a second thought to accept the offer.

As if Mat had the same memories playing on an endless loop in his head, he let out a relaxed breath, “I can’t wait until we buy a house, tell our kids how we met, and take them to this park.”

The uncomfortable familiar feeling you felt earlier in the afternoon creeped up your stomach, “You really have it all planned out.”

“I have our life,” he squeezed your hand as he made a point to emphasize a shared future between the two of you, “planned out.”

You were positive he could feel your heartbeat increase. And while the pounding of your heart could easily be mistaken for the heightened feelings you felt whenever you were near Mat, you knew something else was causing this distress. There was no one in the world you loved more than Mat. You loved your family because they were family, but you made a conscious decision to love him. And despite some hardships, he chose to love you as well.

But thinking about the future made you squirm.

A future with Mat was all you ever desired. You knew he was the one person in the universe made for you when you were halfway through university. And you were pretty sure Mat knew you were his person by the fourth date.

You still kept some of your notebooks that had doodles in the margin. The psychology notebook from junior year of high school had Mat Barzal, with hearts dotting around his name, in every blank space. And even in university, your senior year thesis notebook had script writing of your name paired with his last name, so you could practice a potential new signature for the future.

Since the seventh grade, this was everything you daydreamed about with Mat; a future together. Happiness always fogged up your mind whenever you thought about a lifetime together with him, you wanted this, but everything felt like it was approaching faster than anticipated. And the undisclosed feeling in the pit of your stomach wasn’t going away no matter how hard you tried to only think about a happy future with Mat.

Wanting to feel anything other than whatever made your stomach churn, you leaned up to press a lingering kiss to Mat’s jaw. Then you pressed another kiss to his neck, and another further down at the base of his throat. With each kiss you pressed to his skin, the feeling subsided more.

When you detached your lips from his skin and sat up, you heard him let out a discontent hum. With his eyes closed, he wasn’t aware of the adoration in your eyes as you looked down at him. You studied everything about his face; the slight pink coloring on his cheeks despite it almost being summertime, the downward curve on the bridge of his nose, and how he somehow still had a slight smile on his face when he wasn’t awake.

A satisfied silent sigh passed through your lips as your index finger trailed across his silver chain. The jewelry felt cold on your fingertips, but with the way Mat still had a hand holding onto yours, your whole body burned like a furnace. Unable to resist the pull you felt toward him any longer, you leaned down and pressed an innocent kiss to his lips. You lifted your head up, pulling your lips away from his, but Mat brought his free hand to gently lay on your cheek as he lifted his head up slightly to bring you back into a kiss.

It was soft, delicate, and reminded you of the first kiss you shared after your second date outside of his car when he dropped you off in front of your house.

With his thumb caressing your cheek, his fingers curled around your neck to bring your lips closer to his. And as you smiled into the kiss, he slowly lifted himself up until he was properly sitting. You pulled away from the kiss again, not wanting to get carried away while in public, but Mat followed your lips and kissed them one last time.

Your hand that was on his shoulder slowly inched toward the back of his neck where you played with the ends of his hair. He leaned his forehead against yours and whispered, “Wanna get pizza?”

You threw your head back in laughter and Mat dropped his head into the crook of your neck, wrapping an arm around your waist for a hug. Leaning into the hug, you continued to thread your fingers through his hair, “Yeah, pizza sounds good.”

“Good,” Mat pressed a featherlight kiss under your jaw as he unwound his arms from around you to stand up. He reached a hand out for you, and with a smile, you placed your hand in his as he pulled you up.

Once on your feet, he tugged on your arm so that you were pressed flat against his chest, caught in another hug. Never one to deny any of his hugs, you wrapped your arms around his waist as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. His arms were strong and his body felt warm. You melted into his touch like you had for the past five––almost six––years.

But then his stomach grumbled, and you leaned away from him with an amused smile on your face, “Pizza?”

Mat smiled back down at you and nodded, “Pizza,” he said matter of factly as he unwrapped his arms from you and began to fold up the blanket.

When he had the blanket draped over his arm, he reached his hand out again for you to take. Happily, you slid your hand into his, as the two of you began to walk through the park to a pizza place down the street.

The pace of your walk was slow. Normally you wouldn’t mind a slow pace, but it was making the unknown and unwelcome feeling creep back up in your stomach. The feeling seeped through every crevice of your body as Mat recounted a story of how he almost got hit in the face with a puck at practice. And the feeling wedged itself deeper and deeper into the middle of your chest until you arrived at the pizza place.

“Your eyes look pretty today,” Mat offhandedly said as the two of you slid into a table after ordering.

You tilted your head, shoulders instantly relaxing at the sound of his voice, as a soft smile slowly made its way onto your face that was brighter than the sun the two of you just sat under.

You propped your elbows up on the table, resting your chin on your hands, as you looked at the love of your life with nothing but fascination, “Your eyes always look pretty.”

Mat reciprocated your beaming smile.

And the unknown feeling vanished.

–––

The spring air dwindled away and the crisp air of autumn slowly began to replace the weather associated with new beginnings. Even though the seasons changed, the heaviness in your chest you felt in May was still present in September. No matter what you did, or who you spent time with, the feeling continued to grow until it latched onto your deepest insecurities. And it wasn’t until you had an honest conversation with your best friend that she told you the feeling was anxiety.

Anxiety.

What did you have to be anxious about? What was so terrible in your life that made you nauseous in the mornings, kept you up until the late hours of the night, and had you constantly bouncing your leg up and down while sitting? Your life had been going exactly according to plan––exactly how you thought you wanted it to go. All you wanted was for it to disappear, but you couldn’t pinpoint what made you anxious. Which made it hard to try and control the feeling.

But there was one thing you did that proved successful in making the anxiety subside.

With your bare chest pressed up against Mat’s, his fingertips slightly digging into the skin of your hips, you rested your head in the crook of his neck as you inhaled a sharp breath. You had just experienced a shuddering orgasm on his lap, but he wasn’t quite finished.

Mat wrapped an arm around your body and flipped you over. You opened your eyes briefly to see him crawling up your body, adjusting himself in this new position. With raised eyebrows, he offered you a soft smile. And after you gave him verbal confirmation you wanted him again, he nudged your legs apart and guided himself in. You hadn’t fully recovered from the previous act of shared intimacy, but that didn’t matter to you.

The only thing that mattered was getting rid of the tortuous feeling that consumed you.

But when your hips met, and you heard Mat inhale a sharp breath, the feeling lessened.

You always looked forward to that––Mat’s breathless smile when your pelvic bones first connected in a deep thrust. There were other things, too. You knew things about Mat that nobody else knew. Like how Mat always crinkled his nose when he first became aroused. How his biceps were especially ticklish if you dragged your fingertips across them. How it drove him crazy when you would wrap your legs around him, hooking him in to pull him closer. Or how Mat would press a lingering kiss to your cheek when he was perilously close to the edge.

And it was that last movement that brought you out of your head––Mat pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek.

With a ragged breath, you trailed a hand up his arm––skipping his biceps––and curled an arm around his neck. Your fingers delicately moved up his neck as you weaved your fingers through his hair, and then slowly let your hand drag to the side of his face; cupping his cheek. And with a series of quick, deep thrusts with Mat on top, was all it took for your walls to clench around him as you lost your breath momentarily.

As you rode out the high of your orgasm, Mat was close behind. With a few more thrusts, you knew he released when his movements slowed down with a few snaps of his hips. After he inhaled a deep breath and released it through his nose, Mat rested his forehead against yours and then opened his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered unintelligibly while trying to catch his breath.

You rubbed your thumb over his cheek, “I love you, too.”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, nuzzling his head into the palm of your hand, before a shy smile broke through. With a gentle peck to your lips, Mat rolled off you and quickly disposed of the condom before rolling back into bed.

When Mat was back at your side, he propped himself up with his elbow and stared down at you. Shuffling a bit down the pillow, you pulled the sheets up to your neck and peered up at him. With his free hand, he took one of your hands and lazily played with your fingers. He went from slowly moving his fingers between yours, to his fingertips leisurely moving from the bottom of your palm to the tips of your fingers. And when he had done that for a few moments, he started tracing the lines on the inside of your palm.

The only sound in the room was the two of you silently breathing; basking in each other's presence after a few moments of shared intimacy. Even in the silence, all you heard was him whispering I love you on repeat in your mind.

Every time he said those words to you felt like the first time. And even hearing the echo of them from your memory caused a scintillating smile to unashamedly grow on your face. You diverted your gaze from him playing with your hand to look at him.

Mat’s eyes were already focused on you.

His eyes were the first thing you fell in love with. You didn’t know if you fell in love with him when you were twelve years old; when his wide, nervous eyes offered you a stick and asked if you’d to join his team for street hockey. Or when you were nineteen; when his earnest eyes were bloodshot as he confided in you that he was scared of losing the connection of your relationship when he went to Seattle. No matter what emotion he held in his eyes, you always loved them.

And even now, his eyes were soft. His eyes were so full of love, but there was another emotion swimming around in his eyes that you had only seen before he asked you out; longing.

You didn’t know what he was longing for as he stared at you. A creased formed in between his eyes as he scrunched his eyebrows together. Removing the arm you had under the pillow, you raised your hand and rubbed the crease until his eyebrows relaxed. He offered you a small smile, but this smile was more one of concern rather than happiness.

Like you did earlier when Mat was on top of you, you trailed your fingers down his cheek until you cupped the side of his face with your palm. Slowly, you caressed his cheek with your thumb.

“Are you alright?” Mat whispered.

It was your turn for your eyebrows to scrunch together and a crease to form between them. And while you momentarily retracted your hand from his face, you snapped out of your shock, and moved your hand up to brush a piece of loose hair out of his face. The piece of hair didn’t stay in its place, so you pushed it back once more, as you tried to distract yourself from the growing feeling of anxiety bubbling up in your stomach.

The piece of hair continued to fall in front of his forehead, so you focused all of your concentration on making sure it stayed away, “Of course I am, why?”

Mat shrugged his shoulders. And he took your hand that pushed his hair back and intertwined your fingers together, “You seem a little…off.”

You snorted, “We just had sex twice,” your facial expression held a serious look, but your tone of voice was teasing, “Are you complaining?”

Mat let out a breathy laugh as he squeezed your hand, “That’s not––That was incredible––Really really good––definitely not complaining,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “I feel like I can say I know you better than anyone else, and…I don’t know.” His eyes dropped to your intertwined hands, and he tried his hardest to force a smile before looking back at you, “It feels like something’s been up the past few days.”

Few months, you wanted to correct him.

You shook your head, trying to ease both of your nerves, “I uh––I’m thinking of looking at grad schools?” you let the little white lie easily slip, “But I’m not seriously looking, it was just a thought.”

Mat playfully rolled his eyes, “Knew something was up,” he brought your connected hands up to his lips to press a reassuring kiss to the top of your hand, “If you do seriously consider grad school, you’re probably the most well off person to apply.” At his confidence in you, you tucked your chin into your chest.

“It’s just…” you inhaled a shaky breath, wanting to come clean about your unknowing anxiety, but something held you back, “I don’t know.”

Mat dropped your hand and slowly stroked the side of your face with the back of his hand, “It’s a lot to think about. But there are plenty of great schools in New York,” when his lips turned upward in a smile, you felt your stomach drop, “Whatever you want, we’ll figure it out together.” Mat pressed a kiss to your cheek, “We have all the time in the world.”

His voice, full of optimism, matched the hopefulness behind his eyes, and his smile finally met his eyes. And the longer you stared into his eyes, you saw a glint of something you had never seen before; devotion.

You don’t know when it happened, but you accepted the fact that you would marry Mat––spend the rest of your life with him. There was no lengthy discussion, but there seemed to be mutual acceptance. Mat always spoke so passionately about starting a family with you when he saw a toddler run around the park. And whenever you drove past a house you liked, you always made a passing comment about how nice it would be to raise a family with him.

You wondered when you started to feel so uncomfortable with the feeling of security.

–––

The month of September was slightly better, but not by much. The anxiety was still present and you kept Mat in the dark about everything. But it was difficult to confide in him when you didn’t even know the root of the problem. You couldn’t pinpoint the cause of anxiety, and you thought the feeling would disappear in June.

But it was now October and your anxiety had escalated to suffocation.

Suffocation.

It felt like there was a bag of twenty-pound rocks tied to your ankles and you were drowning. When you didn’t feel like you were drowning, you felt as if someone was smothering you with a pillow. And when you finally felt free from the smothering, it felt as though someone had cut off your air supply. But there was one thing that temporarily relieved the feeling of suffocation.

And it came with an acceptance email from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.

When you applied to a handful of universities to continue your education, you thought your anxiety was based around a fear of not excelling to your full potential. So, with that in mind, you took the little white lie you told Mat a few months ago and applied exclusively applied to grad schools only in New York City. But a program at Georgetown caught your eye and it was the only school outside of New York you applied to. You hoped for the best, but deep down you had a gut feeling the prestigious school in D.C. would reject you.

But when you received a fairly large envelope in the post, one that was not the size of a rejection letter, you felt a brief moment of freedom.

It is with great pleasure that we offer you admission…

You had read the opening line of the letter ten times before skimming the rest of the offer letter. The amount of confidence and pride you felt swell up in your chest was short lived. Because your new friend, suffocation, quickly swallowed up those feelings.

You had never considered moving out of New York––never considered moving away from Mat––but here you were, internally debating with yourself on whether you should take this offer seriously.

There was too much going on in your head––too much going on in the city––as you walked down the sidewalk. Every step you took toward your home felt like walking on a tightrope.

You had a university acceptance offer…Step one…The university was nearly 300 miles away from Mat…Step two…You had other university acceptance offers for school’s in New York…Step three…But the anxiety only grew when you received acceptance letters from schools in New York…Step four…And all of the anxiety went away with the D.C. offer…Step five…Does Mat have something to do with your anxiety––

You didn’t let yourself finish the last thought.

Mat was your person. There was not a chance the universe would play such a cruel trick on you. Life wasn’t fair, but life wouldn’t rip you away from Mat.

Right before you entered your apartment building, you dug out your phone and called your best friend. Once she picked up, you begged to spend the night at her place, saying you needed to get out of the city. She agreed, but you heard the curiosity behind her voice.

Knowing that mat would be waiting in your apartment, you hurriedly hung up before entering the elevator. The ride up was daunting, and the lights that blinked whenever you rose to a new floor felt as if they taunted you. They were yellow and bright, something you had not felt in quite some time, but the lights didn’t care as they flashed in your face.

When the doors parted open to your floor, you scurried out and opened the door to your apartment. You breezed right in before you changed your and decided to drive straight to Newark.

As expected, Mat sat slumped against the couch cushions as he pointed the remote at the television. He couldn’t seem to pick a channel that held his interest. When he heard the door open, he turned his head and you offered him a small wave as you set your bag on the floor.

“Good day?”

You shrugged your shoulders and walked over to sit next to Mat on the couch, “Average,” you leaned your head on his shoulder, “How was your day?”

Mat mimicked your shrug, “Just practice. Uneventful.”

You let out a snort, “What thrilling lives we live.”

That earned a loud laugh from Mat, “Exhilarating,” he leaned over and kissed your forehead, “So, for dinner? We have stuff to cook, but there’s this new place a few blocks over I thought we could try––”

Lifting your head up from his shoulder, you moved away from him slightly as you brought your legs up to your chest, quickly cutting him off, “I’m actually––I’m going to Newark tonight.”

A few awkward beats of silence passed before Mat spoke with a cracked voice, “Oh?”

Nodding, you leaned your chin on your knees, “Haven’t seen Melanie in a while,” you mentioned your best friend, “Just need to get out of the city for the night.”

“Everything alright?”

Mat’s voice was laced with hesitance, as if he didn’t know if he wanted an answer to his question.

You gulped and hugged your legs closer to your chest, “Yeah I––It’s a girl’s night. We just need to clear our heads.”

Mat nodded in understanding. He pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and pointer finger, “Clear your head,” he repeated cautiously as if he sensed there was an ulterior motive. He closed his eyes, and after a few more beats of silence, he opened them. And you felt your heartstrings tug in your chest when you saw the amount of yearning behind his stare.

“That’s…” he cleared his throat, and nodded his head slowly, as he looked at the television, “good.”

He didn’t phrase his words as a question, but they weren’t a statement either. It was Mat convincing himself that you leaving the city was fine…That you were fine…That the relationship was fine.

To ease his doubts––because there was nothing in your life that you were more certain of than your love for him––you took his hand, “It’s just for one night.” Your voice didn’t waver, and you spoke with double the confidence, hoping to transfer some of it to the boy who sat across from you.

“No, yeah that’s fine,” Mat bit the inside of his cheek, “Time with your friends is good.”

Mat never verbally recognized the small rift forming between you two, but in this moment, you knew he could feel it more than ever. And when you felt him pull his hand away from yours, you panicked and squeezed his hand twice. It caught his attention, and you smiled at him, “We’ll try out the new place tomorrow night for dinner.”

There was a far off look in his eyes, but he nodded in agreement.

Mat only using the bare minimum to communicate with you drove you up a wall. You didn’t like how he avoided conversation, and you didn’t like the feeling in your stomach that came with it. He’s disappointed in you, a voice in your head spoke up, you’re leaving him alone when you know he doesn’t feel confident about your relationship––

In order to silence the voice in your head, you did the only thing that you knew would keep it quiet.

You leaned forward, gently placing both of your hands on Mat’s cheeks, and kissed him. At first when he didn’t kiss back, you feared that you wouldn’t be lucky this time around to quiet your insecurities. The toxic coping mechanism you fell into every time wasn’t working. Panic rose through your body fast, and just when you were about to give up hope, he kissed you back.

A sigh escaped your lips as Mat pressed a hand firmly to your lower back to pull you closer.

You needed to be closer.

His hands carefully held your waist as your hands traveled from the sides of his face to the nape of his neck.

You needed to feel closer.

He kissed you harder, hands creeping up your shirt as he was always one to crave skin-to-skin contact. You let your hands delicately move down his neck to his shoulders––lifting your touch on his skin to avoid his biceps––and let your hands fall onto his chest.

Closer.

You needed to physically feel as close as possible to Mat; because emotionally, you felt as far away from him as ever.

–––

The forty-five minute drive from Long Island to Newark was filled with songs from the shared Spotify playlist you had with Mat.

He created it when he first went off to play hockey in Seattle claiming it would be a fun way to stay updated with each other's lives. The playlist was full of songs that reminded either of you of each other, upbeat heavy rock songs that Mat listened to before a hockey game, or more mellow songs you heard in a coffee shop while studying.

Since Mat had started the tradition of creating a shared playlist each year, there was a new playlist for almost the entirety of your relationship. And on your lonesome drive to Newark, you pressed play on the playlist from 2015.

You left your apartment after a silent cuddle with Mat that lasted a few hours; legs tangled together, synchronized breathing, and featherlight touches. There was a moment where Mat removed his arms from your waist––he said he was cold––and asked if you had a sweatshirt he could borrow. Reluctantly, you got up and trudged to your room to look for a sweatshirt of his you once stole.

A black sweatshirt caught your eyes and you picked it up. The Seattle Thunderbirds logo printed on the front, you toyed with the hoodie strings, debating on if you wanted to give him his sweatshirt back. It was one of the first ones you sneakily stole from him in the beginning of your relationship. And as much as the sweatshirt was rightfully his, it had made a home in your drawer over the years.

Missing the way his arms felt wrapped around you, you walked back to the couch––Thunderbirds sweatshirt in hand––and offered it up to him. Mat quickly tugged it over his head, ruffling his hand through his already messed-up hair, and then pulled you down to lay next to him.

He left your apartment wearing the sweatshirt.

After replaying the memory of Mat walking out of your place with his sweatshirt, you found yourself at your best friend’s townhouse sooner than expected. She ushered you into her kitchen saying she was almost done boiling the kettle for tea.

The only words exchanged between the two of you so far was a greeting and barely there small talk. She didn’t push you as to why you frantically called her and begged for a night away from New York. But she anticipated that the conversation would come later in the night.

Once the teas were made to both of your likings, Melanie led you upstairs to her rooftop deck. A fond smile crossed your face as flashbacks from all the times the two of you had spent up here. The two of you had met in university, but she was a few years older than you, so she moved out of New York sooner than you.

Most of your deep conversations about Mat took place on this rooftop. From realizing you loved him on this rooftop to coming to terms that there was no one else you’d rather spend the rest of your life with… This rooftop held the realizations of multiple monumental moments of your relationship with Mat.

Next to the sectional couch the two of you sat on, Melanie lifted the lid of the wicker basket and plucked out two blankets. You quickly wrapped the blanket around your shoulders, bracing your body against the frigid air.

As Melanie adjusted the blanket over her shoulders, she spoke up, “Everything alright?”

You took a sip of tea, keeping your vision set straight ahead, “Yeah, I’m alright––it’s just…” you glanced over at her to see she had her eyes raised, silently telling you to rethink your answer, “I don’t know.”

Shoulders slumped over in defeat, you took another sip of tea.

“I think you’re far from fine,” Melanie chuckled, “Got a call from my best friend panicking about how she had to get away,” her voice waned off amusement and turned more serious, “You worried me.”

You nodded in understanding, “Sorry, I didn’t think––Sorry––It’s just everything…” you nervously itched your collarbone and let out a sigh, “Sorry.”

Melanie placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Never apologize for what you’re feeling,” her eyes were soft, and full of concern, as she weakly smiled and headed carefully with her words, “Even if you don’t…know what you’re feeling.”

“I got accepted to Georgetown,” you blurted out as you kept your eyes trained on the ground.

Her eyes widened, and a genuine smile spread across her face, “That’s––Shit, congratulations! That’s so exciting! D.C.…Wow.”

With a slow nod of your head, you took a sip of your tea, “D.C.”

A brief silence in conversation revealed everything Melanie needed to know about why you suddenly had to escape from the city.

“Mat doesn’t know?”

You repeated her question as a statement, “Mat doesn’t know,” breaking eye contact with her again, you swallowed down your insecurities, “While like––I don’t know––That’s not why I’m…upset.” Melanie nodded and waited for you to continue your explanation, “Things have been…off.”

“Off? As in recently?” Melanie questioned as you stayed silent. With a deep sigh, she whispered, “How long have things felt off?”

You gulped, “May.”

Melanie’s eyes widened again, but not in the joyous sense like they had when you told her about your graduate school acceptance. Her eyebrows were raised high and her mouth slightly dropped open, “Shit, Y/N, it’s November.’

Again, you nodded and took another sip of tea, “It is November.”

“You’re going to have to do more talking than repeat the last words of every sentence I say.”

The words weren’t meant to be harsh, but her tone of voice still caused you to flinch. Her sentence was the truth, and you didn’t come here to be coddled. You needed someone to be brutally honest with you to help bring you to a conclusion. And you knew you had to offer up more information, or else your little one-night escape away from the city would be pointless.

“I feel stuck,” you breathed out, the last word barely a whisper, as you felt your throat close up, “I feel stuck and I’ve felt this way since May. I don’t know why I feel like this and I really don’t know what to fucking do, Mel. I––I’m so scared.”

Melanie scooted closer to you, “Stressed about potentially going back to school?”

You shook your head immediately. The thought of going back to school was the only thing keeping you sane at the moment. You couldn’t wait to expand upon another area of study that interested you. And you had been feeling this way long before you entertained the idea of going back to school.

“Everything is going so so well with Mat and…I don’t know…I’m happy with how things are now, but––“

“You’re obviously not happy if you can’t talk to him about this,” Melanie cut you off sharply before she inhaled a deep breath, “Maybe you need some change.”

You quirked an eyebrow up and tilted your head, “Change?”

She nodded and offered you a regretful smile; one that people had tucked away for when they had to break not so pleasant news to people they cared about, “Change from…how your life has been going.”

You continued to blankly stare at her as the dots didn’t connect in your mind. Melanie took your silence as a way to continue on with her explanation.

“Maybe D.C. is a great opportunity to start over.”

Suddenly, the crickets that chirped on her rooftop blared like alarms, the blanket you had on felt itchy, and the bitter autumn air smelt stale.

“Start…Over?” You shook your head no as Melanie nodded her head yes, “I have a life built around Mat and a––I have a future with him––That’s not––I can’t––“

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Melanie,” you pleaded with your best friend as the scratchiness behind your throat became uncomfortable, “I can’t do that to him––“

She held up a hand for you to stop talking, “You’ve been with mat since you were like twenty––“

“Eighteen,” you corrected her.

She shot you a glare and pretended like she wasn’t interrupted, “You were children when your relationship started,” she waved her free hand in the air, “There’s no denying that you’ve had a great relationship with him. The two of you have grown so much together, but sometimes things get stuck in a routine and people need a change.” You felt a lone tear trickle down your cheek, “Maybe you need a change.”

You carefully set your tea down on the glass patio table as all of the negative thoughts and feelings ventured out of their hiding places. One by one, they creeped out of every corner––no crevice too small––of your mind, as your subconscious tortured you with the lethal words they created.

With the heel of your palm, you wiped away more silent tears that couldn’t stop falling from your eyes.

Change was something you didn’t handle well. Change was something you’ve never liked. Your heart was saying that this kind of change––a change from Mat was bad––but your heart was screaming. Your heart was screaming about how exhausted it always felt suffocated. Your heart was telling you that there was another way. That you didn’t have to feel like this all the time––how you shouldn’t feel like this all the time.

You wanted to ignore how your heart felt and listen to your head. You wanted to ignore the heartbreaking gaze Melanie sent your way. And most of all, you wanted to ignore how your best friend had a very valid opinion.

You craved Mat’s presence now more than ever.

–––

November ended painfully slow and December came without a care for your feelings.

In the midst of juggling your job, figuring out technicalities that potentially came with continuing your education down in D.C., and keeping up with Mat’s hockey schedule…You were also trying to stabilize a relationship that you desperately clung on to.

Ever since your roof top conversation with Melanie, you felt the relationship crumbling on your end. And only a couple weeks later, Mat seemed hesitant around you. Every touch he gave you held doubt. Every night you went to bed, he shifted further to the other side. And every I love you was said with caution.

He was there physically, but emotionally, he was pulling away right before your eyes.

You loathed the situation that you had created for yourself and Mat. You absolutely hated how you no longer synced up. You wanted to go back to the way things were before the summer hit. You craved the smell of the spring air that was synonymous to the safety you felt in Mat’s presence.

Although, you don’t know how possible that was now.

Change.

Melanie nonchalantly brought up the topic of change whenever you called or saw her in person. She reassured you that she would support your decision––whenever you came to one––but she still favored the decision of change for you. She had your best interest at heart, and while you appreciated that, your best interest was entangled with Mat.

And you knew that the decision she wanted you to make was not in his best interest.

But there was one day in the past seven months that felt normal.

At work, you were offered a promotion. And that same night, the Islanders had their seventh straight win, with Mat scoring a hat trick. You walked out of your director’s office with a smile on your face, and you snuck down to the lobby to call Mat with the good news. He sounded ecstatic for you over the phone, and he asked if you wanted to go to the game tonight so he could see you right after.

Eagerly, you accepted his offer, and you felt butterflies churn in your stomach as if it was the first time he asked you to attend one of his games.

You rushed to get all of your work done as fast as possible, and a few minutes before the clock struck five, you dashed out of the office and made your way to the arena. The game felt electric, Mat played with a sense of newfound desire, and you were ecstatic for him to be playing so well. And when the game was over, and Mat walked out in his game day suit––jacket folded over his arm and tie loosely done––you barreled into him.

Mat hugged you back just as tight, if not tighter, and his reassuring touch reestablished a sense of purpose in your life.

“I’m so proud of you,” Mat whispered in your ear, congratulating you on your promotion, “I’ll love you forever.”

That day filled you with hope.

That day made you smile wider than you had in the last few months. It was a light finally shining through the dreary storm clouds. And that day helped you gain clarity as to what sort of change you needed in your life.

You decided that change was needed if you wanted to keep sane. And you had come to the compromise that you could have a change and still keep Mat. All you needed was a change of scenery. You didn’t know why you thought you needed an ultimatum between the two, and it eased your troubles a little bit, but not nearly as much as you thought it would.

The day after your promotion and Mat’s hat trick, you woke up with your legs tangled with Mat’s, his arm thrown over your waist, and his face facing yours for the first time in months. It was so domestic, something you took for granted early on in your relationship, but once you had it back in your grasp, you never wanted to let go.

But the moment you woke up, his arm around your waist felt like an anchor aiding in your drowning. While it felt as if you were drowning, you also felt safe in Mat’s arms, as if he lent you a hand for rescue. Mat always made you feel safe.

Unfortunately, that was a week ago. And you hadn’t woken up in his arms since then.

Ironically, even though both of you knew something was wrong, Mat had been spending more time at your apartment than his. But the dynamic between you two had shifted: Mat no longer came up to hug you from behind when you cooked at the stove. You no longer pinched Mat’s hips as he walked past you. And the two of you blushed profusely and looked the other way whenever you saw the other in a towel after a shower.

Things had been off emotionally for quite some time. But now physical aspects of your relationship were changing, and a piece fo your heart broke off every time you noticed it.

You wanted change, but not like this.

You were at the small table in your kitchen, waiting for Mat to come back to you. He mumbled about heading to the gym with Tito when the two of you were sitting next to each other on the couch. He tied his laces up, and it looked like he was about to walk toward the door before he turned back around and stood in front of you.

Like every time you stared up at Mat, you fell in love with him all over again.

He offered you the smallest of smiles before bending down to your height. Carefully, he cupped your face with his hand, and you immediately leaned into his touch. A peaceful sigh escaped your lips and your eyes closed.

What caught you off guard the most was when Mat leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. And just when your eyes opened, he broke away from the kiss. When his eyes finally opened, they were pleading with you. His eyes begged for an answer you could not give him. His eyes urgently wanted for you to tell him what had flipped your entire world upside down.

But his eyes were also full of love and hope; unconditional love for his high school sweetheart and hope that the two of you could make it over this bump.

“I love you,” he whispered just as soft as the first time he said those words to you, “I won’t be long.”

Desperate for more physical contact from him, you weaved your fingers through his brown hair. You knew how much he loved when you massaged his scalp and ran your fingers through his hair. Instantaneously, his eyes closed, and he leaned forward to brush his nose against yours.

You didn’t want him to go to the gym with Tito.

And like the first day you repeated those important three words back to him, your voice was filled with the same enchantment for the man in front of you, “I love you, too.”

With a sigh, Mat opened his eyes. With the way his eyebrows pinched together, you could tell he was intently debating something in his mind. But before you could pry, he seemed to go against his better judgement and pressed another kiss to your lips. While the kiss wasn’t anything special, he lingered longer than his first kiss.

“I’ll be back soon,” he breathed out softly.

He left before you could open your eyes.

Part of you didn’t want to open your eyes because the last thing you saw––that would be ingrained in your brain forever––was the person you appreciated and cared for most in the world, telling you he loved you. There was no better high in the world than that, especially when you had felt deprived from his love for so long.

But that was six hours ago.

You hoped he would only be gone for two or three hours, but your hope dwindled away with every hour that passed.

You were messing around with your laptop when you heard a key in the door handle. And when you heard the creak of your door open, you held your breath. You felt the inside of your stomach fall and the anxiety crawl up.

Once you looked up from your keyboard, you saw Mat already staring at you.

His cheeks were rosy, lips parted ever so slightly as he heavily breathed, and his forehead glistened with sweat. He held the water bottle in his hands as he stared through you. The way he looked at you was unnerving, and you wish you were able to read his mind.

“I love you, Y/N.”

His voice held conviction as he refocused his gaze to look at you instead of through you.

Slowly, you closed your laptop as Mat walked toward you. He placed the water bottle on the table and looked down at your doe eyed, questioning gaze, “I love you, but I need to know what’s wrong.”

“What––“

“I know you feel it too,” the determination and confidence behind his voice fell, “It’s been a few months and I can’t––we can’t––this?” his voice cracked, “We need to figure it out.”

You sniffled and started to nervously pick at a loose piece of skin by your thumb. Your eyes fell to your lap, not wanting to see the utter heartbreak in his eyes, “Let’s––Yeah. Let’s talk, okay.”

Mat crouched down in front of you, and took one of your fidgety hands in his, “Hey,” he used his other hand to tilt your chin up to look at him, “It’s just me…The guy who accidentally shattered your car window junior year when shooting a puck because I wanted to impress you,” he let out a sad chuckle, “Just…Me.”

You sucked in a deep breath, vigorously nodding your head, in hopes to delay your tears, “I know––And I––That’s what makes this so…” You let out a hiccup and squeezed your eyes shut just as hard as Mat squeezed your hand in reassurance, “Hard.”

Before a sob wracked through your chest, Mat was fast to stand up and pull you up with him, wrapping his arms around you. You fell into his chest and he held you close, running a soothing hand up and down your spine. He whispered that everything would be alright, but your arms only tightened around his neck as your sobs increased with his careful words.

After a few moments when your cries slowly started to calm down, Mat slightly leaned back, but made sure to keep his arms securely wrapped around you. He lazily traced patterns with his thumb on your lower back, which caused you to look up at him.

With all your heart, you wished you didn’t look into his eyes. Because seeing his red eyes and heart-rending smile caused you more pain than the last seven months.

He brought a hand up to your face, wiping the tears from under your eyes with his thumb, “There’s my pretty girl,” he sniffled and failed at forcing a smile, “So pretty.”

You felt your bottom lip tremble, another wave of fresh tears waiting to be seen. And when Mat loosened his grasp around your waist, you looked up at him in panic. You didn’t want to be separated from him, but he shushed you, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder to keep you close as he guided you over to the couch.

Much like earlier in the day, the two of you sat on the couch together. But instead of laying together on the couch, he sat next to you.

With your thighs touching, Mat grasped your hand in his, “Talk to me,” his grip was so tight, it felt like he was afraid you would slip away right in front of him, “Please.”

You nodded your head again, but no words came out.

How were you supposed to start off this kind of conversation?

Mat squeezed your hand in reassurance, and before you began to overthink about the best way to phrase your feelings, you said the first thing that came to mind.

“I feel anxious,” you let out a shaky breath.

Mat slowly nodded, squeezing your hand again as a silent way to encourage you to continue.

And with a deep breath, you shut your eyes tight, “I feel anxious and stuck––Almost like––I feel like I have no control over anything and it––I think––I need, uh, a change.”

Your words strung together in one rushed out sentence. And as your rambling continued on, your words grew softer and softer until your voice barely carried above a whisper. But the last word––change––echoed loudly in the room. The word was deafeningly loud, and Mat didn’t miss a beat.

“Change…”

The one syllable word sounded foreign coming from his lips. He repeated the word for a second time to make sure he heard you right.

Change.

In a sense, change was ever present in your relationship. There was change when you and Mat first grew out of being friends to more…Change when Mat left for Seattle to play hockey…and change again when Mat got drafted by the Islanders.

Change was almost a constant in your relationship; but the change was always prompted from Mat’s end. There had never been any expressed desire for change on your side.

“What do you want a change from?” Mat’s tone was daring, almost as if he wanted you to make his worst nightmare a reality.

“I––There’s this whole––“

“What,” he didn’t mask the viciousness in his voice, “do you want a change from.”

His voice was demanding, and not at all like the sweet sound that comforted you moments ago. You knew him well enough to know he was growing irritated at you, and you knew it would only get worse.

“I got into a masters program––in D.C.,” you rushed out, and in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best response to reassure his insecurities, but you needed to get that information out there, “And it’s––it sounds so great, Mat. Like really great, and––“

He removed his hand from yours in a swift motion, as if he touched fire, “You’re leaving?”

“That’s not–––“

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” His eyes shined with hurt and disappointment, but most of all, you could hear the distrust behind his voice, “D.C.?”

You sighed, “I never seriously considered it until last month.”

Mat closed his eyes, no doubt in frustration that you didn’t confide your feelings in him earlier, “You’ve been feeling like you need a change for the past month?” Your silence caused him to flare his nostrils, and edged him on to ask another question, “Since when––Why––How long have you felt this way?”

You gulped, averting your eyes to look at his knees, “I don’t want anything between us to change, Mat,” you spoke carefully, “I was thinking––“

“How long?”

“May.”

You screwed your eyes tight to the point where you felt a stunning sensation in your forehead. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in his eyes, that no doubt would be filled to the brim with pain. And you avoided his stare that bored you for as long as you could.

But when you felt the couch cushion next to you feel lighter, you snapped your eyes open and up to look at Mat.

Mat backed away from the couch, and there was nothing you could have done to prepare yourself for the look of betrayal in his eyes, “May?” Gnawing at your bottom lip, you nodded. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head in disbelief, “How could you not tell me––Christ, seven months?” Y/N…” his voice cracked as he said your name.

It killed you to see his jaw clenched and eyes rimmed with redness; and seeing his eyes overflow with heartbreak caused you to shoot up from your seat to comfort him. But what killed you even more was how he flinched away from your touch. Nothing in the world could prepare you for that sting.

All you wanted was to comfort him.

“Mat––“

He inhaled a deep breath and sniffled, “Please, don’t…” he brought both hands up to face, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, “You want to leave?”

He couldn’t even look at you.

Unfair to you, his question held two sides. He was asking for clarification about wanting to leave New York, but also asking if you wanted to leave him. To Mat, leaving New York meant leaving him.

Your arms hung limp at your sides, mouth wide open in shock. You understood his confusion about wanting to leave New York because you had never mentioned it before. But your despair quickly turned into irritation as he verbalized his doubt of your love for him.

“You know I’d never leave you,” you said with a deep breath, trying your best to keep your anger at bay.

He ripped his hands away from his face, “Do I?” He sent you a glare that had you stumbling back, “Because we had this whole plan for us. And now you don't want that with me.”

“I still want that with you!” You threw your hands up in the air in exasperation, “Grad school goes faster than undergrad. We’ve done long distance before, and my job said they could transfer me––“

“You already have a job here!” Mat raised his voice, “There are places to go to grad school here! You have a place here! You have friends here––“

You raised your voice over his, “That’s not the point, please just––“

“You have me here!” His voice cracked, “We had a plan––“

“Plans change!”

Mat had his mouth open, ready to shout over you more, but once your ambiguous statement traveled from the confines of your thoughts and slipped out of your lips, he had no response. You could feel the anger radiating off him as the ringing in your ears grew louder…and louder…and louder…

“Plans don’t just change like that,” he venomously spat out. His words hit you like icicles, cold and sharp before his tone momentarily softened, “I had my life built around you…We––I wanted to marry you. Start a family with you.”

He spoke as if all of those desires he had with you were now a far off fantasy.

You pinched the bridge of your nose to stop a new wave of tears from falling. But these tears weren’t of fear for his reaction to your thoughts about change, he made those feelings loud and clear.

These were tears of mourning.

“Mat,” you spoke his name with a strained voice, “Let’s talk about this rationally––“

He ran a hand through his and narrowed his eyes at you, “Don’t…” he raised his forearm to wipe more tears away from his face, “I can’t believe––I really thought we had it all from the beginning. But who would have actually thought two teenagers would make it this far?”

He let out a soft, maniacal chuckle that made you more nauseous than any amount of anxiety.

“We were just children back then,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, “What did we know about life.”

His anger morphed into a cynical tone that sent shivers down your spine. It frightened you when he let out that small laugh, one that was usually saved for comical moments between the two of you.

“But here we are now,” he let out another self-deprecating laugh, “Time’s a funny thing…It seemed like nothing back then––It felt as if we had the rest of our lives together.”

As much as you didn’t want to hear Mat break down everything about your relationship, you knew he was spiraling, and you wanted to help him. Because despite what he may think, you still loved him.

Carefully, you tiptoed forward as Mat continued on with his rambling about how idiotic he was as a kid to think that this would last forever. With each step forward, your heart shattered into the tiniest of shards as Mat portrayed your relationship as childish with no chance of reconciliation.

“You just took my love,” his voice decreased in volume and cynicism, and was replaced with a tone that ripped your heart out of your chest. He pointed an accusatory finger at you that made you stop in your tracks, “You took my love––you took it and have no remorse whatsoever––“

You shook your head and picked up the pace of your walking to reach him, “I still love you, Mat. That will never change.”

He stared down at you, and for a moment, you saw the Mat you fell in love with. You saw the bright-eyed eighteen-year-old boy who took his time in teaching you how to shoot a perfect slapshot in his driveway. He looked like he was on the verge of forgiveness, but once you slightly ghosted your fingers against his hand, he snapped out of whatever trance he fell under.

“I don’t know how to love anyone else,” his shoulders slumped forward as he bit his bottom lip.

Without caring that he pulled his hand away from yours seconds ago, you swiftly took his hand in his and gripped it as if you were hanging off a cliff and he was your only lifeline. You didn’t know if it was a moment of bravery, or a moment of desperation. Because there was a nagging thought in the back of your mind that screamed about how this could be the last time you touched him.

“You don’t have to love anyone else,” you pleaded with him, your voice catching in your throat as tears welled up in your eyes, “I don’t want you to love anyone else.”

“Time’s a funny thing,” Mat let out a humorous chuckle, not believing that the two of you found yourself desperately clinging onto the past.

When he finally made eye contact with you, he slightly tilted his head as a single tear rolled down his cheek. Even when he was crying, his dark eyes still captivated you like no one else had. And the longer you stared into his longing eyes, they were filled with one emotion you weren’t familiar with; regret.

“Mat,” you whispered his name cautiously, petrified of what his next move was, “We can work through this…”

He slowly shook his head, causing your heart to plummet, “May…From what I’ve gathered, you hadn’t applied to grad schools then––Didn’t have an excuse for change,” he stalled back more of his tears, “But you wanted a change. You still want that change.”

“I want a change of scenery,” you tried your hardest to make him understand your feelings, “Not a change from you.”

“The only thing back then you could’ve wanted a change from was me,” it was the first time his voice didn’t falter. He was confident in his theory that you didn’t want him anymore.

You squeezed his hand, “Are you even listening to yourself––“

“You’re the love of my life,” his voice was full of pain, and when he softly smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. With one hand still clutching onto yours, he brought his other hand up––a trembling hand––and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear, “I just wish I was yours.”

With a shakey inhale, and one last strong sniffle to conceal his sobs, Mat pressed a firm kiss to your forehead. And when released your hand one last time, he escaped out the door.

You had felt many sensations throughout the past seven months: drowning, feeling weighed down, and suffocation. But what you felt right now, the devastation that encased your whole body, was far worse than any of those emotions.

Because now, it felt as if you were falling.

Mat, your only lifeline, let go of your hand.

He knew he held the power to pull you up and save you, but he decided to let you go. When he released your grip, it felt as if he was releasing it finger by finger, desperately wanting to hold onto what you both had; wanting to hold onto the life both of you had created around one another. But in the end, it didn’t survive.

And as he released your hand, you fell.

You fell over the edge, stomach performing backflips as the sensation became worse with each passing second. The sensation of falling was never ending, as if you were falling down the rabbit hole to Wonderland; terrified of what waited for you at the bottom.

The December air felt frigid. The December air made one seek comfort in hot chocolate, or another menial item, because winter wasn’t strong enough to provide comfort. The December air felt nothing like the spring air that offered you solace without asking for anything in return.

Oh, how you wished to smell that spring air once more.

#mat barzal #mathew barzal #mat barzal imagine #mathew barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #mat barzal oneshot #mat barzal writing #mathew barzal fic #mathew barzal oneshot #mat barzal angst #mathew barzal writing #mathew barzal angst #nhl imahine #nhl writing #mat barzal new york islanders #mathew barzal new york islanders

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mochegato · 3 years

Text

Even the Losers

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Bruce watched Lucius, or more specifically his hands, with a well concealed hostility. If you didn’t truly know Bruce or weren’t well versed at reading suppressed emotions, you could believe it was just another artificially polite expression. But Lucius had known Bruce since he was a child and Marinette hadn’t spent years fighting an emotional terrorist for nothing. “I haven’t seen you all night and now I find you coopting this beautiful young lady’s time,” Bruce observed, his mouth tight.

Marinette eyed him apprehensively, subconsciously taking a half step back. Her whole body stiffening. Lucius took note of the change and moved slightly between the two of them and laughed politely. He wasn’t sure what caused the change in demeanor but he still wanted to try to cultivate a business relationship with the young lady. When they got the fabrics working, they would need a designer and she was not only clearly the perfect candidate for the position, they had already been considering her before everything she’d said during their dance.

“Sorry, Mr. Wayne. I assure you I was not avoiding you in favor of a prettier face,” he chuckled. “Although I’ve been informed elusiveness seems to be a quality I exude unintentionally.” He winked at Marinette who smiled weakly at the attempt.

Bruce chuckled with him, tight and short exhales, his eyes never softening. “I wouldn’t blame you at all. She certainly is lovely.”

Marinette’s chest hollowed out, all the breath in her evaporating out of her chest as though it had never been there. “Kind of you to say,” she rasped out just barely looking up to meet his eyes.

“Just saying the truth,” he assured her with more sincerity. His eyes finally managed to soften as he looked at her, but immediately hardened again when he returned his gaze to Lucius. “I’m sorry if Lucius has been keeping you captive. I know he likes to talk and it can be hard to get him to stop, especially when he’s taken a particular interest in something… or someone.” His eyes sharpened on Lucius as he spoke. Lucius only raised his eyebrow in response, leaning back slightly as if to see Bruce a bit better.

Marinette immediately straightened back up, her eyes hardening. All evidence of uncertainty and unease shattering as she did. She had been the one to approach M. Fox. She had been the one to coopt his time. She had been the one manipulating the situation. And now M. Wayne was going to try to twist this on M. Fox, who had been nothing but gracious and kind. “I was just discussing innovation and the application process with M. Fox,” Marinette responded coldly before Lucius could. “He was polite enough to entertain my questions. He has been quite polite and charming and professional.”

“Were you thinking of working for WE?” Bruce asks perking up slightly.

“You couldn’t pay me enough,” Marinette scoffed out before she could stop herself. She immediately mentally face palmed. This wasn’t the time for this. Now was about Max, not her. The mission had been successful she wasn’t going to blow it now by letting M. Fox see her overreactions.

She let out a breath and looked back up with an overly wide smile. “As I mentioned to M. Fox, I’m not really interested in technology. I couldn’t imagine anything more boring than staring at numbers and code all day long,” she laughed in the way she’d seen Adrien laugh at events like this, an empty, meaningless laugh meant to indicate a lack of interest in the topic rather than actual entertainment, leaning toward Lucius as she said it, hoping to pull him into the conversation and rescue her from.

“It’s not my favorite part of the day either,” Lucius smiled graciously. “I imagine you would still be good at it,” he assured her, “but I can’t say I blame you. I would likely react the same if faced with bolts of fabric and thread.”

Marinette smiled politely, grateful to him for the reprieve. “Well that sounds interesting,” Bruce interjected. “Perhaps we can discuss what would interest you during a dance.” He motioned toward the dancefloor and held his hand out toward her.

Marinette glanced down at the hand, a weight settling in the pit of her stomach. If she gave in he’d have her for the duration of the song. One-on-one. No escape without creating a scene. Trapped by the same societal conventions she’d used against M. Fox. “Surely you must have more important guests to attend to,” she offered instead.

“I do not,” he assured her, sincerity radiating from his eyes.

Marinette opened her mouth to say yes, resigning herself to her fate when she felt a hand on her hip. “There you are M’lady. I lost you in the sea of people for a moment.” Adrien prompted her to turn slightly so he could look her in the eyes. “You okay?”

Her shoulders, she hadn’t even realized had worked their way up to almost touching her jaw, instantly relaxed. She gave him a relieved smile and squeezed his hand. “I’m good, Kitty. Thank you.”

“Is this your date?” Bruce inserted, eyeing him coldly, but held his hand out to him. “Bruce Wayne.”

Adrien gave him his practiced, social smile, perfect for galas with strangers and potentially hostile associates. “Nice to meet you, sir. This is a very nice gathering. Very kind of you to do this for the orphans,” his tone was bordering on openly hostile but keeping to the socially acceptable side of the border. Marinette choked at the statement. She hadn’t really thought about the intent of the gala since she’d made the plan. When she’d made it, the purpose hadn’t had any bearing. But now…

“Thank you. It is an important cause to my family and myself.” He missed the way Adrien squeezed Marinette tighter at his words. “You mentioned talking to Mr. Fox about innovation at Wayne Enterprises. Perhaps you would like a tour of the building. I can arrange one personally for you.”

Adrien pulled his lips into a tight, sickeningly artificial smile. “How very generous of you. Unfortunately, we won’t be in town that long. We are scheduled to leave town Tuesday.”

Bruce looked between the two, forcing his body to not stiffen at Adrien responding for Marinette. “Tell me about yourself, son,” Bruce smiled stiffly, noting that he had artfully left out his name, not that Bruce didn’t know it already, although the physical proximity to Marinette was unexpected.

It took almost all of Marinette’s experience as Ladybug to keep a poker face instead of letting her jaw drop in offense. “Why don’t you let these young people dance, Bruce,” Lucius interrupted, detecting Marinette’s increased discomfort. “After all, it’s cruel to make the young have to endure making conversation with the old guard like us.” He turned to Marinette and Adrien with a kind smile. “Make sure you don’t miss your opportunity to dance tonight.”

Marinette smiled at him gratefully. “Not at all, M. Fox. I found our conversation very fascinating. Thank you very much for sharing your time with me. It was much appreciated. But I will take you up on your advice.” She turned to Adrien and motioned to the dancefloor. “Shall we?”

“Always,” Adrien smiled. “Gentlemen.” He nodded to them and guided Marinette across the dancefloor, taking great care to escort her as far from them as he possibly could. He glanced around to make sure the men couldn’t see them and pulled Marinette into a comforting, all-encompassing hug. “How are you really?”

Marinette held him tightly and buried her head in his chest. “I’ll be okay. I just… Thank you for the save.” She laid her head on his chest as they swayed to the music. Her breath slowly shifted from shaky to more steady. She lost track of the number of songs that passed while she found her voice again. When she could breathe normally again, she stood straight and smiled at Adrien. “It worked.”

“It worked?” Adrien asked excitedly.

Marinette nodded and had to stop herself from doing an entirely inappropriate victory dance. “He wants to meet Max on Monday. Well, me too,” she cringed slightly, not looking forward to being involved beyond what she had done already. “But! But, he was floored by Max’s invention. Like completely floored! And knows about Rabler now. He did not look happy at all about the news.” Her grin widened as she remembered the encounter. “I think Max is really going to be taken care of. It went so well!” she squealed.

Adrien grinned back and hugged her. “We have to let Max know.”

Marinette nodded. “He’ll call us when he’s done. We just need to stay up until then.”

Adrien nodded. “Coffee it is then. Do you want to leave now or look around?” Marinette looked around quickly. By the time she looked back at Adrien, her eyes had lost their light. She looked exhausted suddenly, drained by the experience. Adrien gave her an understanding smile and squeeze. The mission was over. She didn’t need to be in mission mode anymore, or at least not high alert. She just had the meeting on Monday and she was done. Now she could stop blocking any potentially interfering emotions and actually let herself feel again. “Let’s get out of here and find a coffee shop then. We can take it back to the hotel and watch bad movies until Max calls.”

Marinette gave him a weak smile. “Maybe popcorn and candy and drinks instead,” she offered. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Sooooo many drinks and ice cream.”

Adrien laughed and slung his arm over her shoulder to help guide her and comfort her at the same time. They wound through the crowd making their way to the exit and freedom, where Marinette could finally breathe freely. They had almost made it to the doors when they heard someone call Adrien’s name. Adrien looked around and cursed under his breath. “Hey again.”

“Leaving so soon?” Tim asked. He looked between the two with a concerned expression. It was awfully early in the night to leave already.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s a nice event but I think we’re ready to go home, take off the stuffy clothes, and drink,” he gave him a charming, conspiratorial smile. Nobody their age wanted to be here and they all knew it.

“Oh that sounds like a brilliant plan,” the blonde woman next to Tim grinned. “I wish we could do that. But we have to at least wait until the announcement. And we can’t drink. But it would help handle events like this.” She gave them a wide smile and held out her hand. “I’m Stephanie. Nice to meet you.”

Adrien smiled politely back. “Adrien. Hi.”

Marinette smiled civilly. “Marinette. Nice to meet you.”

Stephanie’s smile widened. “Oh Timmy, make sure to keep this one away from Bruce. Black hair, blue eyes, looks beautiful but haunted. He’ll adopt her in an instant.”

Tim laughed and rolled his eyes, drawing Stephanie’s attention to him, both of them missing the way Marinette and Adrien balked and Marinette’s entire body went rigid again. “Bruce’s breaking that habit with today’s announcement.”

Adrien paled slightly. This could go nowhere good, but it was like watching an akuma hit someone when you’re too far away to help. It was going to happen no matter what. The damage would be inestimable and all he could do was watch as it got worse and worse. “Oh?”

“Yeah, our new brother… or rather their new brother, I’m not officially adopted, just unofficially the favorite child,” Steph winked at them. Tim huffed playfully but didn’t contradict her. It was easier to just let it go. “Anyway, the new Wayne doesn’t have blue eyes. Does have black hair, is beautiful and looks haunted, so maybe it’s just the blue eyes that don’t matter so much anymore.”

“N…new brother?” Adrien stuttered, struggling to keep his voice even and polite. The normal reaction to such news would be interest and happiness. Well, they certainly had his interest. The happiness part though… He pulled Marinette tighter as he sent her a furtive look. She was doing an admirable job of masking her response but he knew her. He knew the signs. He knew her lips were a bit tighter than usual. He knew her jaw was clenched harder than was normal. He knew her breathing was harder than average. He knew he shouldn’t be able to feel her pulse from here.

“Yeah!” Stephanie enthused. “Duke.”

“We were supposed to wait for the announcement,” Tim chastised with no real heat behind his words. “But yes. That’s what this gala is really for. To officially announce the adoption of Duke Thomas. So, yet another ‘poor orphan’ joins the rest of us,” he joked. “I swear Bruce just can’t help himself. He sees a kid and instantly feels the need to protect and help.”

“So thoughtful,” Marinette rasped out, pretending like her entire chest wasn’t breaking apart and disintegrating in front of them. “You must all be so excited.”

Tim looked at her for a moment but before he could analyze her tone or body language, they heard someone tapping on a microphone. “That’s our cue,” Stephanie squealed. “Looks like you might make it for the announcement after all. It was nice to meet you if I don’t see you after.” Tim and Stephanie waved before making their way to the stage.

Once the two were gone, Marinette’s eyes bulged as Tim’s words reverberated in her head. This whole thing was to introduce a new child, another new child he took in, another addition to his family, another child he wanted and brought into his life instead of throwing them out. Her eyes darted among the family members as they all made their way up onto the stage. All standing behind the new member, smiling at him, hugging him, eyes shining in acceptance for him. One big happy family, not wanting for anything… or anyone.

Marinette didn’t realize she had stopped breathing until her body forced a deep gasping breath, knocking her out of her stupor. She tore her eyes away so violently, she stumbled back, or maybe it was just that her resilience had disappeared with the words. They should not be here. They… she should never have come. This was a stupid, terrible plan. She had no right to intrude. She had no right to be here… for this.

Her heart raced out of control. Her whole body started shaking. She couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t she breathe now? But suddenly there wasn’t enough air in the room. Why wasn’t there air? There had been air before, hadn’t there been? She remembers being able to breathe earlier. She thinks. Maybe she made that up. Maybe she hadn’t been able to breathe since she stepped in the room.

She stumbled again and reached out for support, never doubting it would be there for her. Adrien responded instantly, bringing her into his chest and quickly guiding her out of the gala. He whispered comforting and reassuring words as they moved, throwing empty smiles at anyone who bothered looking their way, as though helping his drunk date home, nothing scandalous or even unusual, nothing to look twice at.

They missed the eyes searching the crowd for them and the quickly covered up frown at finding them missing.

Chapter 3

Tags:

@maribat-bdbwm @jayjayspixiepop @redscarlet95 @alice-hazelwood @deathssilentapproach-blog @unoriginalmess @alyssadeliv @emotionalsupportginger

#maribat #bio dad bruce wayne #bio!dad bruce #roynette #Even the Losers #mbdbwm2021 #prompt - family/friends

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babylonhockey · 3 years

Text

always your little girl ✿♡

pairing: bucky barnes x daughter!reader

warning/notes: female pronouns, fluff, slight angst, strong father/daughter relationship, slightly proof-read

summary: bucky can’t help but worry about his little girl when she ventures on her first mission

prompts/request: 'i’ll always be your little girl, even when i’m across the state studying or i’m in a different country fighting aliens’

word count: 769

MASTERLIST

“Please Dad, I swear to you, i’ll be fine!” you stomp like a child in frustration, throwing various fabrics and materials of clothing into your wide suitcases. That was enough to scare Bucky. Why on earth would you possibly need such big suitcases?

Why were you leaving him?

Your father was incredible, of course you knew that. But. There was always a but. He just had a problem with letting go. All you have ever wanted was to be free. Utterly and truly free. Of course you knew your Dad had your best interest at heart, but you were finally an adult for gods sake.

Your father had an incredible relationship with you. You truly do respect and love your dad, he’s the best! All you’re asking for is just a little bit of...freedom.

As you had finally approached with an offer to participate in a serious mission, you were understandably over the moon. And determined. You had never been more passionate and determined about any in your entire life. You wanted this, so bad. Not matter how ‘dangerous’. That’s the kind of person you were.

Bucky ran his hands on his flustered face, shaking his head while groaning.

“Honey, it isn’t you i’m worried about it’s everyone else. I know how powerful you are, I do. You’re the greatest girl in the world, you’re my girl. God knows what those things will do to you” He sighed in desperation, his wide eyes silently pleading with you, please don’t leave.

You pause your frantic movements, turning around slowly to face the only person you’ve only ever truly adored. Except it wasn’t him. He looking into your pleading orbs with joy, happiness and love. Instead, he stared deeply into you, almost straight through you, with nothing but guilt, desperation and sadness.

Dropping your two suitcases, you march towards your father with purpose, striding to give him a piece of your mind. You’re an adult now! It’s time you started following your own life path. Time to leave the nest.

Bucky’s gaze shifted to the wooden planks below him, his uneasy and overwhelmed demeanour apparent as you continue to make your way over to his figure, slouched in defeat. He looked disappointed, not even at you but himself. For potentially pushing his daughter away, making her leave. Making her want to leave. Of course that was far from the truth, however, his ‘father instincts’ told him otherwise. They were in-fact wrong majority of the time.

You approach Bucky face to face, attempting to catch his gaze while sympathetically sighing.

“Dad...” you mumble. He catches your glance with slight teary eyes, looking away almost instantaneously in embarrassment. He made sure to catch himself before they could fall.

“I’m not leaving you” you begin as you make sure to emphasise the word, ‘leaving’. “I’m doing what you do, what Uncle Steve does, what you all do. Just because i’m your daughter doesn’t make me any more fragile than the rest of you. I want this Dad, please let me do this” you plead with desperation evident in your eyes as you begin fiddling with your hands, awaiting his response.

Silence fills the room. The constant back and forth bickering has ceased. The conversation has become genuine and more serious than every. The two of you have never gotten this far into the ‘hypothetical’ mission conversation.

Closing his eyes and shaking his head slowly, Bucky sighs before grabbing hold of your hands into his own.

You look down uneasily at your joint hands, was this him finally saying no for good?

“Look,” his eyes had finally met yours, he searched your face for any signs of regret, mentally pleading for you to wrap your arms around him and say how you had changed your mind. He knew that was just selfishly unrealistic.

“You’re my little girl, I honestly don’t know what I would possibly do without you, Y/N. But I love you with my whole heart,” he paused, holding his breath as he procrastinated.

“But, if this is what you truly want, then-”

“Dad!” you interrupted smirking slightly at his sentimentalism. “I’ll always be your little girl, even when i’m across the state studying or i’m in a different country fighting aliens”

He chuckled, throwing his head back and inhaling deeply. Acceptance. Finally.

Pulling you into a tight embrace before kissing your forehead, he whispered into your hair, “I always knew you’d be a hard-ass from the day that I first saw you”

You giggle and tease back, ”Oh yeah? I wonder who’d of given me that trait”.

“I love you kiddo” he sighed.

i hope you all enjoyed <33

i’ve never written for bucky before, so apologises for the bland and short fic...it was super out of my area but i’m so excited to write for him more often. :]

lmk if you guys would like more bucky/sebastian content

requests are open!

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tetsuwhore · 4 years

Text

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 | 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨, 𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚

Description: the boys dating a kinky S/o who everyone else thinks is innocent

Warning: explicit smut - dirty talk, risky sex, bondage, one use of the word ‘daddy’

Length: 1.2k words

Kuroo is so amused by the entire thing. you had managed to charm the whole student body into believing that you were the goddamn descendent of virgin mary

little did they know that he had Nekoma’s angel in his bed, moaning his name as he pounds into you and praises you for being his pretty little slut

it’s like his dirty little secret to relish in

don’t worry, Kuroo doesn’t kiss and tell. he knows you’d rather keep this aspect of yourself private, and he respects your wishes. even his teammates will be none the wiser to what goes on in your bedroom

still, he’s such a little shit. he’ll paint your skin with hickies and bruises, cleverly placing them so that they’re just barely out of visible regions that your clothing doesn’t usually cover

then at school, while no one else is looking, he’ll send a pointed gaze at your thighs or chest and flash you smug smile. he’s the only one who knows about the splotches of red and purple beneath the fabric of your uniform, and he gets such a kick out of that knowledge

“oh, what a pity nobody else gets to see my artwork”

“Tetsurou, i will hit you”

“honestly, i’m pretty into that, and so are you”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“T-Tetsu, someone is- fuck! Someone is going to h-hear us,” you hiss.

Tilting his head up, Kuroo looks back at you from his position between your thighs. He’s wearing a lazy smirk, but your eyes remain fixated on the slickness coating his cheeks and skin.

Ignoring your complaint, he goes back to work. Gripping your thighs tighter into the sides of his head, Kuroo pushes himself forward, tongue pressed up against your heated core. It’s dizzying - the way he’s lapping the wet little muscle up and down, swiping your clit over and over in repeated motions.

The feeling is absolutely delicious, and for a moment, you forget that you’re currently pushed up against the wall of the gym storage closet. For a moment, you allow your sharp whimpers to sound through the room, ignoring your rational mind telling you that you could get caught at any minute.

For a moment, you’re so, so tempted to simply toss out all inhibitions and let him have his way.

Mustering up your very last ounce of restraint, you start, “I-I’m serious! What if s-someone, uh, finds us and-”

“Why don’t we let them? Let ‘em know how pretty you sound when you’re moaning my name like a little whore,” he taunts, “Who would’ve guessed Nekoma’s little angel could make such lewd noises, hmm?”

You can only whine in response, a bright crimson flaring across your face as he continues.

“So, want to stop then? Want me to leave you here all high and dry?” he asks, the smug expression still on his face. Kuroo already knows your answer. He already knows you’re only growing slicker at the thought of potentially getting caught.

And he already knows that you’d let him do whatever he wanted so long as he granted you that sweet high.

He flashes you a wicked grin when you silently shake your head, hands already weakly grasping for his dark locks in an effort to pull him back against your core.

“That’s what I thought. Now be a good girl and let daddy make you cum on his tongue.”

Kageyama did not see this coming. when he first got into a relationship with you, he expected you to be just as inexperienced as he was

even in his third year, his demeanour is still simply too intense for him to appear as approachable to girls. therefore, the first time he has sex will likely be with you

now Kageyama isn’t necessarily vanilla - he just lacks experience

the first couple of times, you - being the more experienced one - will have to guide him, showing him how you like being touched, as well as helping him explore what feels good for him

Kageyama’s nature makes him someone who prefers remaining in a position of control - and once you get him comfortable enough, you can coax him into bringing that side of himself to the bedroom too

he’ll be slightly relieved that you’re so unsuspecting when it comes to your... wilder side. Kageyama is a rather private person, so he’s more than happy to have whatever happens in his bedroom remain in his bedroom

though, it does make for some interesting conversation when he’s in the changing room before practice and the others catch a glimpse of the angry, red lines adorning the pale skin of his back

and, of course, no one suspects you of anything. instead, they tease Kageyama, calling him a neanderthal for going so rough on you

“Jesus Christ, you’re an animal, Kageyama.”

“(Y/n), that poor girl.”

and all he can do is flush red and grit his teeth, silently bearing all the teasing while trying not to picture your pretty voice sobbing for him to go “harder, rougher, deeper”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kageyama had been in a shitty mood since he got back, slamming the door shut before finding you and practically dragging you to the bedroom. It had been another day spent dealing with Tsukishima’s and Hinata’s infuriating comments, this time concerning the purple hickies splotched across the expanse of his neck.

You weren’t even entirely sure how you had managed to pull it off - getting Kageyama to let his guard down while he was so riled up. But you had done it, positioning him to rest his back against the headboard of the bed and restraining him before he could stop you. The soft, silk cloth was light enough that he didn’t even notice when you silently looped it around his wrists in a tight knot.

The way his blue eyes darken - harsh and stormy as he locks them on yours in a hard glare - is enough to tell you that he was going to absolutely destroy you for this later. It’s nothing short of terrifying. And yet, the thought sends a rush of heat straight to your core.

“Untie me. Now.”

Chuckling at the succinctness of his speech, your voice is mockingly saccharine as you coo, “Aw, but my Tobio looks so pretty like this. Completely and utterly helpless.” You tighten your grip on his broad shoulders as you position your dripping cunt directly above his hardened length, sinking down ever so slightly before pulling away. Again.

He despises this. There’s nothing he hates more than being in a position where he wasn’t in control. He knows you know this. And he knows you’re getting such a kick out of watching him grow more and more frustrated as you dangle the promise of pleasure in his face, only to yank it away every time he comes close to tasting it.

Slyly, you taunt, “Is this getting you all hot and bothered? Don’t worry, baby, if you ask nicely enough, maybe-”

You’re interrupted by the sharp sound of ripping fabric echoing through the room.

You aren’t even granted a second to react before you’re flipped on to your back. Kageyama wastes no time, immediately pounding into your heat at a dizzying pace that has you keening for him.

“You seem to have forgotten your place. Guess I’ll just have to fuck it into you so you don’t repeat that mistake again.”

#kuroo x reader #kageyama x reader #haikyuu smut #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kageyama tobio x reader

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royalwilmon · 2 years

Note

Behind the scenes of Rosh, Ayub, and Simon suspecting the Wille Simon is texting is Prince Wilhelm?? Those conversations in ch10 got me wondering about how their first convo about it went down.

- Kai💜 purplehoodiesimon

idk why this was impossible to write but several days later, here it is, lmao. simon really came to believe wille=wilhelm veryyy gradually, so this is just the initial "lol what if" to rosh&ayub

an angel ain't what i need (call me up late irl #10)

this is part of a series of drabbles that give a closer look at what is going on behind the screens of call me up late. i want to do a bunch of these over time so please let me know which parts of cmul you want to see more from!!

(8:23) I really wish it were that simple

(8:24) Why isn’t it??

(8:26) Let’s drop this, Simon

All day long, Simon thought about the conversation he had with Wille during his morning bus ride. Wille was so private and clearly had some secrets about his personal life that he was trying to keep under wraps. Of course Simon wanted to respect his privacy, but he was only human. His curiosity was bound to get the better of him sooner or later.

Simon spent the middle portion of his day training with the rowing team in the gym. Every now and then he’d catch a glance of August. Ever since August had approached Sara about her medication, his presence has put Simon on edge. Now that things were complicated further by August owing Simon a sizable amount of money, he was even more uncomfortable during their interactions at school.

Simon still felt guilty about letting the stress he felt with the whole August situation bleed into his interactions with Wille. He had no good reason to take it out on him, especially when Wille had been so patient and understanding with his sudden distance and change of mood. Simon was grateful for the way Wille had allowed for him to be able to rant a little bit about his situation. Wille had been right - bottling it up wasn’t doing him any good.

Still, Simon wondered about Wille’s reaction when Simon had started to air his grievances about the way Hillerska’s upper crust treated him. Wille was vague and quiet in a way that at this point felt uncharacteristic of him. What little he did say could possibly be interpreted as defensive, which might have had something to do with the fact that Wille himself seemed to belong to a similar social class as those Simon was complaining about. At this point, though, this was all assumptions and guesswork on Simon’s part.

As he caught a glimpse of August through the mirror, focused intently on keeping pace on the rowing machine, Simon remembered how he had brought up August’s connections to Crown Prince Erik to Wille yesterday. And then, something in the back of his mind caused Simon to remember about Erik’s younger brother.

In truth, Simon didn’t know very much about Prince Wilhelm. He had a potentially outdated mental picture of what he looked like: straight brown hair parted down the middle and a facial expression that always looked a bit lost. Simon knew he was a couple years younger than Erik, and he also vaguely recalled him being in the tabloids a month or so ago, but at the time, he hadn’t cared enough to figure out what for.

Wille could be short for Wilhelm, Simon thought slowly, and the rest of the puzzle pieces continued to fall into place in his head.

Simon let the thought simmer in the back of his mind for the rest of the day, until Ayub and Rosh joined him on the bus ride back home after school. The two of them were very aware of Simon’s new mysterious texting friend, and had spent the past few weeks offering their own thoughts and theories. After greeting his friends, Simon resolved to get right down to business.

“I’m going to say something and you guys are going to think I’m crazy.”

Rosh and Ayub exchanged a look that Simon understood immediately to mean that they already thought Simon was crazy. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to go over very well.

“That’s a given,” Rosh said with a nod. Simon rolled his eyes.

“Remember the guy I’ve been texting? Wille?”

“Simme, you talk about him every day,” Ayub laughed. “What do you mean ‘remember’?”

Simon swallowed and closed his eyes, not wanting to see his friends’ reactions to what he was about to say.

“I’m wondering if maybe he might be Prince Wilhelm.”

Rosh let out a bark of laughter. “You’re not texting the prince, Simon. Come on.”

“Is the prince even allowed to have a phone?” Ayub asked. Rosh rolled her eyes.

“Of course, dumbass. It’s not the middle ages.”

Ayub shrugged. “I didn’t know if it was a security thing.”

“What makes you think you’re texting Prince Wilhelm?”

Simon shifted in his seat, glancing down at his phone, which he currently had opened to his text conversation with Wille.

“I mean, Wille could easily be short for Wilhelm. And he comes from money and has a brother that went to Hillerska.”

“A lot of rich people have brothers that went to Hillerska,” Rosh replied, unconvinced.

“Right, but a lot of sixteen-year-olds with names that start with W?”

“Probably, yes.”

“Also, you have no way to know the guy you’re texting is telling the truth,” Ayub supplied. “He could be dropping hints to make you think that he’s rich and royal just to fuck with you.”

“I guess,” Simon replied with a shrug.

“There is absolutely no way you’re texting Prince Wilhelm.” Rosh was firm with this statement, almost making Simon feel embarrassed for even having considered the possibility.

“I mean, it’d be fucking huge if you were. I mean, can you imagine?” Ayub’s voice was softer, calming Simon’s nerves. “Plus, like, Sweden having a gay prince?”

Rosh laughed loudly. “I’m sure the stuffy old traditionalist royals would have a fucking field day with that one.”

Ayub shrugged. Simon’s head continued spinning.

“Nah, I’m shutting this one down quick,” Rosh said. “I was more inclined to believe your mafia theory.”

“See, I told you you guys would think I’m crazy,” Simon admitted, giving up. “It’s probably just some guy. My imagination is just getting the better of me.”

Ayub gave Simon a friendly slap on the back before changing the subject and launching into conversation with Rosh about the game the three of them were currently playing together. Simon tried to listen, but his mind was still lingering on the previous topic.

Simon knew that the odds of him actually texting the prince were less than slim. Still, he couldn’t shake the memory of the prince with his soft hair and sad eyes. Simon felt something swell in his chest as he worked to push the idea from his mind.

He couldn’t forget the eyes.

He continued to picture them every time his phone buzzed with a new message from Wille. Even when his friends would continue to try to convince him Wille was anyone else, it was always Wilhelm’s eyes.

#call me up late #cmul irl #ally writes #oof #yes im posting this at 5am dont ask me why #i'll reread this when my brain is more awake incase this is just nonsense idk

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jediken0bi · 3 years

Text

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #reader insert #fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds imagine

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chasingpj · 3 years

Text

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐠

"You're more powerful than you think, Y/n. What's he gonna do? Splash you?"

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 4,321

warnings: none?? some violence but nothing gory

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story click here

a/n: i can't believe I actually posted this on time. i hope you guys like it!

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

Atticus leans against a tree, his hands in his pockets as he gives the wood nymphs a smirk that made you want to throw up. The three girls that stand in front of him giggle, nudging his shoulder playfully at something he said. You couldn't hear much from afar, but you doubt it was that funny, the girls just entertaining him because he's handsome or whatever. You scoff softly under your breath, turning away and sharing a look with Lou Ellen, who's scratching the backs of Ambrose's ears. The two of you rolling your eyes simultaneously before you turn on your heels.

While talking amongst themselves, your older brothers are huddled together, the three of them with furrowed eyebrows, serious stares seemingly deep in conversation. As Ernest takes a moment to look up from their circle, you meet his gaze. You don't fail to notice the nervous smile he gives you as he lightly jabs Alabaster in the ribs with his elbow. Furrowing your eyebrows, your steps become hesitant as Alabaster halts mid-sentence, his scowl fading into a friendly smile.

“What’s up?” You ask hesitantly. It was clear you had interrupted something. James and Ernest look at Alabaster, waiting for him to respond to your question. Alabaster shakes his head,

“Nothing. What happened? Got bored of watching your brother flirt with the wood nymphs?” He jokes with you, and you smile, willing to look past the strange tension between them.

“Not bored, more like I couldn’t stand it anymore,” you say, making your brothers chuckle.

“Dude’s got game,” Ernest nods proudly as he shrugs. You cringe,

“Gross.” Lou Ellen giggles as she joins you, her arms wrapping around yours. “Anyways, what are we doing to pass time today?”

Capture the flag was probably one of the activities you hated most at camp. Especially when you were playing on the same side as the Ares Cabin. None of you were strong sword fighters or archers, only relying on your powers in battle and this deemed you guys as not useful by Clarisse’s standards. This meant you and your siblings were always stationed at the same side of the forest where you rarely got any action.

Alabaster hums, his hands shoved in his pockets, “I was actually thinking that we should take over the game,” he suggests, and your eyes widen in surprise.

“What? Clarisse will lose her mind if we meddle with the game.” You really didn’t want to deal with her. Because of the run-ins you've had with her in the past, you preferred to stay out of her way because then, for the most part, she’ll stay out of yours. You were slow to anger, but when you got riled up about something, you raged. And in terms of Clarisse, she just knew how to get you there. Alabaster rolls his eyes,

"Yeah, well, we always lose because Clarisse takes the same approach every time. She has us tossed to the side as if we're useless. I'm serious; let’s prove ourselves. You can get the flag, Y/n. Take down Percy, and we'll cover you."

You shift, exchanging looks with your brothers. Not only were you surprised at Alabaster wanting to jump in the game, but he was also assigning you the task of taking down the other team's main defense. Alabaster was hands down your most powerful sibling at camp. Though you didn’t have a cabin, there was an unspoken agreement that he was the representative of the Hecate children. He’s been studying the longest and has taught you almost everything you know. You weren’t sure why he was putting you out there when he could do a better job at trapping Percy. Though Alabaster has praised you for being a quick learner and dedicated to your studies, you didn’t quite see the potential he obviously saw in you.

"I don't know… me against Percy? I don't think I'm the best one to put out there," you gradually begin mumbling your words as Alabaster’s face hardens at your self-doubt. He scoffs, looking off into the forest as he shakes his head,

"You’re more powerful than you think, Y/n. What is he gonna do? Splash you?" You gawk at him, not sure if he was discrediting Percy's powers or if he was truly ignorant to what he could do. You haven't seen Percy do much in person, but from the stories you've heard about what he's done on his quests, you couldn't act like he wasn't powerful. Your brother’s chuckle at what Alabaster said, and Ernest nods,

“You got this, Y/n. Remember, our powers are almost limitless; it all depends on up here,” he says as he taps your forehead with his index finger softly. “Your mind can be your sidekick or your downfall.”

You smile at the reminder and nod. Your siblings have always been your biggest motivators when it came to your magic. There are only 8 of you, so you guys are a tight-knit group, always encouraging each other to excel in your abilities.

Though you guys are all around the same age, you look up to your brothers the most. Alabaster, Ernest, and James are the most knowledgeable ones out of the bunch. They were usually the ones giving demonstrations of spells and potions, passing you notes from their book of shadows. James taught you and Atticus how to control your magic when you were angry, Alabaster taught you most of your defense magic, and Ernest just had a way of being able to lift everyone's spirits. They believed in you, you all believed in each other, and you couldn’t ask for a better family.

Still, with their words of praise and advice, you were still hesitant about going head to head with Percy. You didn’t want to disappoint them, though, not wanting to seem scared or weak.

“Okay, fine." Your siblings chatter excitedly, Alabaster smiling proudly as he pats your shoulder.

“Atticus!” Alabaster shouts, interrupting whatever your brother was saying to the wood nymphs.

“Yeaah?”

“Come over here.” Alabaster chuckles as Atticus's shoulders slump. He looks at the girls he was talking to, smiling at them before dismissing himself.

“What is it? I was on a roll,” he says, playfully annoyed.

“They’re sending me out as bait,” you say dramatically as you frown. Atticus furrows his eyebrows,

“Uh, what?” You laugh at his reaction, Alabaster side-eyeing you with a smile on his own face.

“What she means is she’s going to take down Percy, and we’re gonna handle the guys around the flag. James, Ernest, and I are gonna shadow travel as far as we can, which is maybe a little before their last line of defense, okay? You, Lou Ellen, Sage, and Alice are gonna deal with the Apollo kids,” he says, the 7 of you listening attentively. You shift on your feet; head cocked to the side as you raise your hand.

“Yes?”

“If you guys can shadow travel closer to the flag, why don’t you guys end the game?”

“Because it’ll piss Clarisse off even more if it's you,” James smirks, and your jaw drops,

“Oh, now, you’re really throwing me into the line of fire, huh?” Your face is straight as your siblings laugh, and you cross your arms over your chest. “I don’t know why you guys are laughing. I don’t find this very funny,” you retort, looking away to hide your smile. You couldn’t deny that you wanted to see Clarisse’s reaction when she realizes it was you who got the flag.

“When you have the flag, and it’s time to run back to the pond, you have to become ethereal,” Alabaster says, and you blink,

“What?! I just learned how to do that! And I did it at night,” you say, a little panicked. “I don’t know if I can hold it for long and-”

“You’ll do it,” Alabaster cuts you off, and you take a step back as Ambrose whines in displeasure. He definitely wasn’t giving you a choice, and it bothered you. You were grateful for his belief in you, but you really hated how nonchalant he was, considering you could get hurt. “Ready?” He asks the rest of the group, moving on from your concern and your jaw clenches. You feel unprepared, but it seems like it didn’t matter, so you didn’t bother saying anything else.

“Whatever,” you mumble, and you walk past your siblings, your familiar trotting close behind you. Before you disappear in the trees, you hear Atticus say something about not being sure if you should go out there alone before Alabaster shuts him down.

It didn’t take you long to arrive near the pond. Dodging the twigs and leaves on the forest ground, you get as close as you can, hiding behind a tree. You cautiously peek over the side to see if Percy was by the pond as he usually was and to your surprised, the pond is unguarded. You consider making a run for it but something about this felt too easy. Why wouldn't he be at the pond? A high-pitched whine comes from Ambrose’s lips, snapping you out of your thoughts and you quietly shush him, not wanting to get caught.

“Looking for me?” A familiar voice says, and you turn around fast finding Percy a few feet from you, his sword up and ready. The Percy you were met with in the past week or so always had this friendly glint to him. But right now, his eyes were clouded with determination. You feel your heart beating hard in your chest, but you maintain a pretty good poker face as you pull the dagger that’s strapped to your thigh in one motion.

You were by no means a strong sword fighter. Like everyone else, you attended a few classes initially, but it didn’t take you long to realize it wasn’t your domain. It didn’t come as natural for you as the other campers, and you hated when you weren’t good at something right away. After many defeats, you gave up, deciding you’ll excel in your magic so you can depend on it instead.

Your strategy was to go head to head with Percy with your abilities, not like this. Before you could adjust your plan, Percy makes the first move, lunging toward you. His movements were fast and strong, and you were struggling to keep up from the start. You grunt as you manage to defend his attacks, not confident enough to go for a hit because you weren’t sure of your timing. You had to think fast. There was no way you'd be able to win in this sword fight. So you did the last thing he'd expect, you ran away.

"Hey!" Percy calls after you, and you can hear the confusion in his voice. He looks around, not sure if this was some way to distract him or if you really gave up on the fight.

You turn around when you’re about 10 feet from him and you quickly shove your dagger into its casing. Electric green orbs form at the palms of your hands, and you swallow as concentrate on the tug in your gut. Your eyes meet Percy’s, the other now understanding what you were doing once he sees you form the orbs in your hands. He smiles, accepting the challenge as he caps his sword before shoving it in his pocket. His fingers spread out, his arm extended on his sides. He takes a deep breath as he channels his energy, and before you could send out your first attack, you see the water from the pond behind him rising in a thick controlled stream.

As he sends the stream right to you, you felt like everything went in slow motion. Your pulse is loud in your ears, and you focus on your energy, grunting loudly as you send out a thick green beam right at his water. You squint your eyes as you feel droplets splashing on your face from where your magic met his stream. There is a loud hissing in the air as the intense heat from your energy evaporates the water on impact. You’re out of breath by the time Percy retreats, his eyes darkening as he formulates another plan to attack.

Not letting him muster something stronger than what he did before, you begin throwing energy orbs at his feet rapidly, watching the heat burn the grass as Percy jumps back every time.

You had a new plan now, and as ridiculous as it sounded, a part of it was to get him in the pond. Most people would want to get him away from the water, but that would be too easy of a solution, and he’d be expecting that strategy. You had decided that you had to use his powers against him. Just as you planned, Percy eventually jumps into the water with a cocky smirk and you bite your lip. Don’t mess this up.

You close your eyes, feeling a tug in your core as you imagine yourself teleporting behind Percy. When you open them, you’re met with the back of his head, and before he can look around for you, you kick him behind the knees hard. He groans, falling forward into the water.

"Sorry!" You mumble as you jump out of the pond. The water begins to rise around him, and with the most confident voice you can muster, you shout,

“Incantare: Conglacio!" Your arms spread up in front of you, toward the pond. Almost immediately, the water that was risen suddenly becomes frozen solid around Percy. He grunts as he tries to move, quickly realizing that he was trapped in the ice from the knee down. You weren't sure of the extent of Percy's control over water, and you take into consideration that he may be able to change the temperature of it, but you don't wait to find out.

You speed past the pond, Ambrose racing after you, and he barks loudly. Not wanting to make the mistake of ignoring his warnings, you look up and you see campers from the Apollo cabin settled on the branches already pulling back their arrows.

“Where are they?” You mutter, hearing the whooshing noise of the bows being released. Anger and annoyance swirl in your chest at your sibling's late timing. You were already on edge about this whole plan. Now that you’ve taken down one of your big hurdles, you were determined to finish this game, not wanting to feel like a fool for trying if you failed.

Your orbs glow green with the returning of your aura, and you shout angrily as you abruptly stop running. In one quick motion, you extend your arms beside you with clenched fists, blasting a veil of your energy like a force field. The force sends their arrows in the opposite direction and manages to knock a few Apollo campers off the trees. You didn’t knock all of them, but it bought you enough time to run as they tried to regain their balance. Halfway through, you hear shouting and groaning as your siblings take down the rest and bind their arms behind their backs with magic.

You run past the Apollo cabin's defense, and soon, you arrive where the flag is. James and Ernest entertain the two disarmed Athena campers that were guiding the flag, fighting them with their hands while Alabaster tied up a couple of other campers in the trees nearby.

“Grab her!” One of the Athena campers yells, his partner lunging toward you without hesitation. You manage to dodge his attempt, the other grunting as he falls from the force that didn't meet your body.

The moment you were close enough to snatch the flag out of the ground and you hear your brothers cheering you on as you sprint back. Your mind races, not sure when you should attempt to become ethereal, and you begin to worry if you’ll even transform at all. Soon, you're greeted with your answer as you catch sight of Mark, one of Clarisse’s brothers, sprinting toward you, and you curse under your breath. Mark will take the flag from you and run back with it himself and you couldn't just let him claim you win. It was much earlier than you wanted, but there was no other choice.

You let out a rough breath, and you focus hard, recalling what you felt the night you transformed for the first time. A gradual tingle becomes more intense as it starts from your fingertips and from the tips of your toes. The sensation creeps up your arms and legs until it meets together in your stomach and as your core vibrates, you smile, knowing you’ve succeeded.

Your siblings shout at you excitedly from the sidelines, the moment you transform, laughing and taunting Mark while he makes useless attempts to grab you. You focus hard to maintain the vibrating in your core as you approach the river, afraid that you will lose your hold. As you get closer to the pond, you lock eyes with Annabeth as she, Percy, and a few others are waiting for your arrival.

If you weren't ethereal, she would have tackled you straight to the ground no problem, but as expected, she ran right through you. The other campers attempt to catch you after Percy sends out a thick slash of water that would have grabbed you by the waist and up in the air.

“What?! How are you doing that?!” Annabeth shouts, and you don’t say anything as finally get to the other side of the pond and you stab the flag in the ground. Your muscles and chest burn, and you double over, hands on your knees to catch your breath. The satyrs blow the horn and at the sound of it, echoing through the forest, signally your triumph, you manage a ragged laugh.

The distant cheers of your siblings become louder as they appear from the trees, running to you. The energy in your core disperses as you turn back to normal, but you don't have much time to recover. The moment your brothers approach you, you feel yourself being picked up and tossed in the air.

“Guys! Please,” you choke through your laughs, squealing when they throw you a little too high for your liking. You look over to your right, seeing Percy smiling, silently congratulating you as Annabeth was pink with anger.

As your brothers put you down, you notice Malcolm showing up a few seconds late with your team’s flag in his hand. Behind him, Clarisse stomps towards you with a few of her friends following beside her. You had to admit, it was kind of satisfying being the one to get the flag, but if looks could kill, you’d be dead.

“Uh oh,” you mumble as she approaches you, your siblings huddling close beside you protectively, and even Ambrose stands in front of you, growling deeply.

“You messed up the game!” She accuses, and your head jerks back,

“Are you joking? I won the game. Mark was barely halfway by the time I was running here.”

“It doesn’t matter! He would have made it.”

“He really wouldn’t have,” James points out, and Clarisse snaps her attention to him.

“Either way, you guys were supposed to stay on the north side of the forest! You freaks have no place in games like this, anyways.”

“Bold of you to say considering we won the game for you,” you say through a clenched jaw, your eyes glowing as you feel your anger stirring in your chest. You hated when you and your siblings were outed in the camp. Being called freaks or avoided because people deemed you guys as too dangerous without giving you chance, angered you the most. It just wasn't fair.

You laugh, not from amusement, but from disbelief. At this point, you didn’t care, you were at a high after your win, and if Clarisse wanted to fight about it, you were up for it. “Is your pride that wounded, Clarisse? Maybe you aren’t as good as you think you are,” you walk up to her, ignoring Atticus's hesitant calling of your name.

The way Clarisse’s eyes darken failed to intimidate you in your furious state. You guys were practically nose to nose, and in the reflection of her eyes, you can see your aura illuminate wildly around. As Clarisse draws her sword, you smirk, ready to blast her into the trees the moment she decided to move.

“Girls,” Chiron’s voice booms through the silence as he walks through the trees, and the both of you look over. He doesn’t say anything else, the tone of his voice being enough of a warning.

Atticus gently pulls on your arm, and you unwillingly back down. Clarisse scoffs, and she pushes past you hard causing you to stumble back. Atticus catches you from behind, letting you regain your balance and you rub your shoulder, looking back to watch her storming through the forest.

“You did well, Y/n,” Chiron praises, and you smile at him before he goes off to announce the winning of your team. Everyone except for the Ares Campers and the opposite team cheers loudly, excited to have fewer chores after a streak of losing. Soon the team crowds around you, and your siblings start telling a dramatic interpretation of what you did forcing you to chime in here and there as some of the things they described were a little off from the truth. You smile, listening to their chattering, and eventually, you fall behind the crowd as they begin talking about something else. Suddenly, a hand rests on your shoulder, and you look beside you, Alabaster with a proud look on his face.

“I told you you’d do it,” he says teasingly.

“Yeah, yeah.” You wave your hand, lightly nudging his hand off your shoulder. The last thing you wanted was for him to start his ‘I told you so’ speech. “I get it, you believe in me, and whatever,” you joke, and Alabaster laughs,

“I’m serious, Y/n. You’re-”

“More powerful than you think. I know.” You finish his sentence as you shift on your feet. “I guess you’re right,” you admit, mumbling under your breath.

“What was that?” He asks as he leans closer as if he didn’t hear you. You nudge his shoulder and scoff,

“If you missed what I said, then too bad!” You declare as you walk ahead of him. You hear his laughter, and he decides to let it go as he returns to walk with your brothers, Ambrose happily trotting behind him.

“Y/n!” At the call of your name, you turn around, Percy jogging over to you. You giggle, amused at how sweet he looked after being able to intimidate you during the game. “I can’t believe you apologized after kicking me."

“I felt bad,” you admit sheepishly, making him laugh. “How did you get out of the ice?” You ask, playing with the hem of your shorts. He hums,

“It took me a while to figure it out, but apparently I can change the temperature of the water,” he explains, and you nod.

“Yeah, I figured you might be able to. I won’t be using that again,” you say playfully, and Percy smiles.

“What you did was really cool,” he compliments, and you feel your cheeks warm up. Out of all the praise that you’ve heard just now, Percy’s made you feel different. “I have to look out for you now,” he nudges you.

“Yeah, you better watch out, Jackson. I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve,” you warn him, and you take in how he gleams at your banter, making you smile even more.

“I’m looking forward to it. I’m just happy that you can’t trap me in my own element; that would have been embarrassing.”

“I’m kind of bummed about that. It would have been funny if I did, though," you tease and Percy scoffs playfully.

“Y/n!” Alabaster calls on you and the other waves for you to come to him. “You have to rest,” he says shortly. You couldn’t read the expression on his face, but he didn’t look too pleased. You frown and nod, disappointed that your conversation was cut short with Percy.

“I’ll see you later,” you smile softly, and Percy nods.

“Yeah, same,” he says, returning the smile before you turn around to join your siblings back to the cabin.

masterlist taglist:@xxyrr

#percy jackson #percy x reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #my writing #percy jackson and the olympian fic #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson au #percy jackson oneshot #percy jackson fic

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Zhongli: Dating HCs

Aww, I’m glad you like it. Honestly, it was probably one of my favourite hcs to write aha. Ah yes Zhongli, the man who I refuse to believe has money and is constantly broke 24/7. An accurate reflection of me when I spend all my primogems on Childe and have nothing for Zhongli.

This is my first time writing for Zhongli so I might have went a bit overboard? When you were gonna write a couple HCs and ended up writing 1k+ words. Whoops? Maybe I should put a read more on this.

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic

Zhongli: Dating HCs

When you first met Zhongli, your first impressions on him was that he was a very intelligent and well-culture man on Liyue’s traditions and history. That was until you got acquainted with his money and negotiation habits. It gave you a bit of whiplash at how, almost naïve, Zhongli was but it was also endearing? It made him feel a lot more approachable and make you feel like less of an idiot when he started spouting off about things that most Liyue citizen’s wouldn’t know.

Your inner consciousness was screaming at you to help him out. You didn’t want to see him get his entire wallet scammed because he didn’t know how to handle mora. That’s how you basically became his accountant. You didn’t know where he was getting his money but if he was throwing it away so easily, it wouldn’t last long.

After a while, you developed a business-friend type relationship with the man. You would attempt to handle his negotiations and try and fix his bad habit of forgetting his wallet and in return, he’d tell you stories and odd bits of trivia that only someone like him would know. It was kind of interesting hearing him ramble on about different plants and machines. Though he did have a really nice voice too which probably added to the appeal. He mentioned once that if you were to ever pass away, he would see to it personally that your send off would be perfect. You told him he really did not need to worry about that.

Overtime, you found yourself beside Zhongli on simple outings. No need to worry about work or wondering where the actual hell Zhongli got his funds from, just friendly chatter. If you both happened to meet on the Liyue street with no work to complete, he’d ask for your company. Through one of your conversation you told him you were originally from Sumeru so he’d take you to special spots in Liyue, offering small bits of history.

One day, Zhongli had invited you out to dinner saying it was his treat for helping him out so much. You weren’t going to say no to his company and a potential free meal so you agreed. It was an overall good time until Zhongli reached into his pocket to hand you a gift, a case to carry your vision. You had mentioned once when you first met that your vision had been accidently eaten by a pyro slime when you were traveling from Sumeru to Liyue, so the casing was burnt around the edges. It was a shock to you that not only did he remember, since you only said it once in a brief comment, but the casing was actually really beautiful. Zhongli gently reached over to take your hands to put your vision into the new case, his fingertips slowly lingering. Then the gears in your head slowly began turning as the evening lamps reflected on the vision case.

“Wait, have you’ve been...asking me out on dates?” you asked, eyes blinking wide at him as he tilted his head to the side. He didn’t appear mad or annoyed, just genuinely confused by your question.

“Yes? I was under the impression you were aware I was courting you.”

You quickly run through the last couple of weeks with Zhongli trying to see if there was anything that stood out. You suppose he was smiling a bit more, going to more romantic areas in Liyue, and he did just give you a new case for your vision...

You wanted to die right there in your seat as your entire face flushed red. You didn’t even realize. So much for calling Zhongli the naïve one. Zhongli slightly frowned as he took your silence as a silent rejection and slowly slipped his hands out of yours before you quickly curled your fingers around his to keep them in place.

“Sorry, hang on. Please just -give me a second to collect my thoughts.” you quickly stutter out as you unconsciously squeezed his hand tighter as you bite your lip nervously.

“Okay, take as long as you need,” Zhongli nods. If you weren’t gripping his hand like a lifeline he’s tempted to ease the pressure on your lip so the skin wouldn’t break.

You did really like Zhongli, you wouldn’t have stopped him from pulling away if you didn’t. But going from your casual friendship to something more?

“Um...would it be alright if we could take it slow? I don’t mean anything bad by that nor am I rejecting you. We could see how things go? Whatever happens happens?” you began to ramble before Zhongli cut you off. He slowly loosens the vice like grip you had on him and moves his hand to gently cup your cheek, to trace along the indent you left on your lower lip.

“Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you,” he smiles softly at you as his amber eyes seemed to glow in the dark. On second thought, you might not be able to take it slow, this one look is enough to kill you.

At first, Zhongli would give you material possessions and while it was very nice and his sense of style wasn’t that bad, you couldn’t help but worry that he might have spent his entire life savings. You have to gently remind him that you don’t need these things to win you over. Just to be himself and let things happen naturally. He nods along and actually begins taking notes, as if you’ve told him the meaning of life. It’s a bit embarrassing but at least it show’s that he’s serious.

Zhongli is earnest in everything he does and sometimes a bit too blunt. He’s still incredibly respectful of your personal boundaries and space but if you catch him staring at you he’ll be honest in his reasons why. Sometimes he’ll keep going and that embarrasses you too much to the point you have to reach over and stop him before your face overheats.

Likewise, his affection is similar. He isn’t incredibly affectionate but sometimes he seems to pop out of nowhere or you’ll be mid-sentence and he’ll sneak a small kiss. He isn’t trying to fluster you on purpose which makes you a bit more shy that he can do these acts with such ease.

Whenever he mentions that he may bore you with his information on odd historical and cultural aspect of Liyue, even calling it a "bourgeois parasite" you quickly shut it down. He should have more confidence, not everyone in Liyue knows what he knows and he should be proud. It’s because of him that traditions are alive, even if it’s just him that remembers them. He wraps his arms around you and embraces you tightly as he thanks you so sincerely, it almost stuns you in place.

If you do happen to fall asleep he doesn’t take it personally. He enjoys the fact that you feel so comfortable in his presence to rest. But he does end up sitting the the same position until you wake up even though you tell him that sitting in the same position, at night, in the cold, for 6 hours straight is not something he needs to do.

You absolutely do not trust Childe anywhere near Zhongli but you’re weak whenever he gives you that small smile. He thinks of Childe as...a friend? Companion? A walking talking bank account? You doubt it’s the last one considering how respectful Zhongli is but you can’t help but worry. But if Zhongli considers Childe a friend then you’ll silently accept him. It slightly helps you get through the day, until you see Childe already sitting at a table waving to you both innocently. I hope you don’t mind that I invited Childe, he says. A part of you wonders if he actually knows what a date is or if the first times were flukes.

When Zhongli is there you’re both respectful with each other, slipping underhanded comments disguised as friendly jest’s. But as soon as he leaves, you’re ripping into Childe. Zhongli comments that he’s glad you and Childe get along so well as you both stare at him as if he’s grown two heads.

Sometime you get so frustrated that you have to sit him down and just clasp your palms on his cheeks as he stares up at you confused. You want to knock some sense into him that while Childe may own a bank, he in fact does not, and he should really stop digging himself into deeper debt with that Fatui. But he gives you that same tilt of the head, a small smile stretching over his mouth, and his amber eyes soften just a tad that it knocks the wind out of you on just how cute Zhongli can be sometimes.

You both never end up formally putting a label on what you both are, which felt a bit unusually to Zhongli who is so rooted in tradition. But as he watches you pout at him that he isn’t filtering anything you’re saying as you pay the merchant, he can’t help but wonder what the customs of Sumeru are in terms of marriage.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin zhongli #zhongli #genshin impact zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli imagines #zhongli headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact childe #childe #genshin childe

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obae-me · 4 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if I could ask for a hc about the demon brothers reacting to an mc who has low self-esteem and uses dark humor as a way to cover it up? Thank you, and I hope have a nice day!!

Thank you for your request! I love angst solved with fluff, and with someone who struggles with low self esteem this is pretty self-indulging. I really hope you like these! 💜

Lucifer

Being more observant than some of his other brothers, he notices MC’s behavior rather quickly.

It really hit him when they missed class one day, bombing an important test. When he came back home he went straight to their room, ready to scold them for hours.

When confronted, they just shrugged and joked about it, saying that they wouldn’t have done any better anyway seeing as how dumb they were. They laughed like it was a fun joke, but Lucifer was taken aback. This wasn’t how humans normally joked around, right?

Being the Demon of Pride, he didn’t understand how anyone could put themselves down so easily.

He noticed more darker jokes like that popping up in casual conversations more and more frequently, and now he had a mind to put a stop to it.

It started with the subtle gestures. The way he talked to MC more softly. The way he sometimes walked next to them with a gentle hand on their back. How every so often he would rub the top of their head anytime they did something good. However, anything he did didn’t seem to be slowing the behavior. So he needed to be more direct.

He approached MC on a night that the self-depreciating humor was especially bad. He met them privately, and lifted their chin with one of his gloved hands while the other rested on MC’s shoulder.

“The House of Lamentation has an image to uphold...so of course we would never have let you in here if you would not have fit in that image.” His face was serious, but his eyes were gentle. “While you are in my presence, know that you...even while being human...are a magnificent being. So I expect these jokes to cease.”

He will now give MC compliments more often than not, and if he ever hears them make another dark joke about themselves, he’ll say their name sternly, and will wait for them to say something different.

Mammon

Doesn’t pick up on it for the longest time. Ever since MC came to the Devildom, he’s always been teasing and jabbing them, calling them names but with nothing harmful behind it.

Anytime he would call MC dumb or stupid they’d always laugh with him and agree, so they must’ve thought it was funny!

It wasn’t until he joked around with MC about how “typically dumb” they were being, not knowing that MC had just went through a particularly tough day. They tried playing it off, but felt different. The joke didn’t feel half as funny after MC smiled a crooked smile and their eyes went watery.

He tried following them to their room but was turned away. Left shut outside the entrance he always seemed to be allowed in. All because of some joke he made. All the things he had previously said struck him in that moment. Had he ever really said anything good about MC since they had been here?

He couldn’t make jokes like that anymore.

Now instead of “stupid human” he would tell them how smart they were to have him around. He would tell MC how cool they were to be hanging with the one and only Mammon. He didn’t let just anyone stick with him, so if MC was there, they had to be special.

Of course all the compliments had to have him in it, but the new smile MC seemed to show appeared much more genuine.

“Hey, human! I mean...MC. You can’t go saying sad stuff about yourself anymore, even if they’re jokes! Because...because...The Great Mammon wouldn’t hang out with people who were actually that scummy! That’s right, you’ve got some great potential, you could even be my apprentice! So don’t...say stuff about yourself like that anymore...”

MC seemed to now find all sorts of new things they had never had before. A new jacket just their size on their bed. A new phone case slipped into their bag. All sorts of gifts just happened to show up anywhere they went. Mammon’s way of saying he cared, since he could never bring it up with words.

Levi

He knows the feeling of low self esteem. He feels like a dirty, good-for-nothing shut-in. But when he heard MC make similar jokes, he couldn’t take it. He was mostly confused. MC had so many things he didn’t, so many things he was envious of, so why was MC of all people feeling that way?

He invited MC to his room to play games, planning on letting them win so maybe they could feel better. Unfortunately he has a hard time letting go of his true try-hard nature, and ends up winning anyway.

MC just laughs at their loss, claiming that it’s just another thing to check off their Loser list. They’d be the winner at losing, on the bright side.

Levi can’t take it anymore. He grabbed the controller in MC’s hand, put it aside and turned off his console. He couldn’t really look MC in the eye, but had to let them know how he felt. “MC...I can understand me feeling that way but...you’re wonderful, you have everything I don’t, so I don’t want to hear you say anything bad about yourself when-when I’m obviously worse!”

He’ll attempted to put himself down even more to try to lift MC up. Which MC didn’t tolerate in the slightest.

They argued for a while over which of them was worse, which luckily was short lived. They both sat down in silence, neither of them wanting to make eye contact. That was until Levi gently grabbed MC’s sleeve, tugging it, his face against their shoulder. “Y-you’re the closest thing I’ve had to a friend in my life...I-I won’t let anyone put you down, not even yourself.” He goes on and on about a specific anime plot, where the one of the main characters has to fight their childhood friend because they’ve been put under a curse. After the ramble, he makes sure to clarify by meaning that no matter what you’re going through, he’ll make sure you’re safe and happy.

They make a new game with each other that anytime one of them says anything bad about themselves, they have to say something equally nice about themselves. The person who loses has to give their favorite possession away. Maybe that’ll keep them from saying anything bad in the first place.

Satan

He’ll read MC like book, so to speak, but he has no idea how to handle it. He’s only read about similar personalities in his stories and occasionally with Levi. He doesn’t know how to best approach MC about it.

He’ll plan it out, probably like a battle plan. If he wants the best possible outcome, he’s going to need everything just right. The perfect setting, the perfect circumstance.

He settled on what he was sure was the perfect outcome, a rainy Devildom day. It was the weekend so everyone was either at home or out having fun. He knew MC was home in their room, so he headed there with several books he was sure they would enjoy.

When MC let him in, he was sure their face was redder than usual, and their eyes a bit more puffy. “Have you been crying, MC?”

“No that’s just how my ugly face looks.” And they laughed.

The plan was totally trashed now. Satan flared up with anger, dropping his books all over the ground. He took MC by the shoulder and pinned them against the wall. He was mad. Mad that someone like MC, someone who made him genuinely feel calm and happy, could say something about themselves like that. Like it was a joke. Like they were a joke.

“Stop saying things like that. How can you just go joking around like you don’t matter?! Do you know how much you mean to all of us?! To me?!” He took a deep breath and loosened the grip on MC’s shoulders, smoothing out the new wrinkles in their clothes. The aura of anger around him subsiding. “I know how to help you out with this, I have some...self help books in my possession. Purely out of curiosity of course. I’ll be here...to read them with you.”

After that Satan makes sure to meet with MC at least once a week to read books together. Stories about overcoming great obstacles, some self-help ones, and stories that make MC feel better in general.

He’ll also check up on MC frequently, making sure they feel better about themselves, even if it’s just a fraction of what it was before.

Asmo

It’s not until after they’d made a pact together that Asmo truly understood how MC felt of themselves. Asmo almost felt guilty he didn’t start complimenting them more before then, but guilt didn’t look appealing, but neither did what MC was doing.

He saves up a bit of money to be able to take MC on a massive spending spree. All his treat.

He doesn’t really give MC no for an answer when it’s time, and will drag them to all the greatest Devildom shops. He’ll pick outfits for them he knows will complement them, so they won’t have to be self conscious about their body.

Will complement MC to heaven and back. Their hair, their eyes, the curves on their body, the way their cheeks look when they laugh. Everything.

However, all this backfires when MC gives Asmo all the outfits back. “This was fun Asmo...but there’s no point spending money on me when nothing will make me look good.”

Asmo dragged MC into the brightly lit fitting room. He took both of MC’s hands in his. “MC, that kind of talk is not attractive! You can’t say such things when you’re as beautiful as you are! Trust me, there’s no one as beautiful as me, but...you’re a solid second place.” He’ll place a soft kiss on MC’s hands. “You’re stunning, so stunning I...I...I’m going to buy all these things for you right now, and anything else you want I’ll get! Shopping always cheers me up!”

It’s not like him to think of anyone else other than himself, so he got himself all worked up and flustered. But anytime he thought of MC...anytime he imagined that they thought of themselves any less of how he thought of them. It left a bad feeling in his chest that he needed to get rid of.

Won’t give MC any sort of time to deny or joke around any longer. He’ll compliment them now all the time, making sure they know just how amazing they are.

Beel

He surprisingly pick up on it immediately, even faster than any of his other brothers. The things MC does and says remind him of things he felt when Lilith... He couldn’t let MC do that any longer.

He tried to solve the problem at first by changing the subject any time any sort of joke like that came up. It didn’t seem to help. Whenever MC had the chance they would make some sort of joke. He couldn’t just try to distract them to help, he needed to fix this.

He decided maybe it would help their mood if he were to take MC to a fancy restaurant. Just the two of them, so they could talk about it. He didn’t like talking too much but there would be food too. Eating always made him feel better.

While eating, they heard MC make a joke pertaining on how they don’t belong in a place so fancy. Suddenly the food in Beel’s mouth didn’t taste as good anymore.

He’ll stand up and come right over to MC, pulling them out of their chair and into the tightest, most protective hug they had ever had in their life. Bringing MC so close to him, he almost completely covered them with his own body. Some other demons were staring, but he didn’t mind.

“I’ve always loved food, but ever since you came to the Devildom, food always tastes like a gourmet banquet every time...but when you say stuff like that, MC...it reminds me of Solomon’s cooking.”

MC laughed while against his chest. The laugh sounded different, it sounded happier than when they made those dark jokes. He wanted them to always sound like that. He would do almost anything to keep that sound so joyful.

Beel squeezed them tighter. “If you keep joking like that...food won’t taste as good anymore...”

Learns all of MC’s favorite meals and snacks so they always have something on hand for when MC needs a little boost.

Belphie

He notices MC’s behavior and their sense of humor and tends to be the enabler. He has that same type of humor, so it’s hard to stop, even if he doesn’t want MC to do the same thing.

He feels guilty about this and so he avoids MC for a while, not really knowing that this is making it worse. Whenever he shows up for meals or meets them during class he sees that avoiding them has made the jokes even worse.

He doesn’t want to talk about all the nightmares he’s been having about MC. About all the awful things that happen to them, either by his hands or something he couldn’t stop. He wanted the nightmares to end, he wanted all the self-bad-talk to end. All so he, Beel, and MC could finally have that happy dream.

So he takes MC up to the attic, having preparing the bed so it was covered in plush pillows and incredibly soft blankets. Anything he used to make him feel better.

He wraps MC in one of these blankets without a word, and then shoved them towards the bed. He was still learning how to be gentle with a human.

He’s not really good with words, he’s quiet when he’s awake and when he’s asleep, which is most of the time, he doesn’t need to say anything.

So he lays in bed with MC, grasping the blanket he put around their shoulders tight.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I just wanted...you to stop...So stop.” He attempted to be his typical brisk and demanding self, but it fell short. He sounded upset. He picked up one of the pillows in the pile, pointing it at MC like a weapon. “Stop.” He bopped them on the head with it. “Stop. Or I’ll continue to hit you with my pillow.”

He’s not joking. If at any point after that MC makes any sort of joke to try to cover the fact that they said anything bad about themselves, he will gently hit them with his pillow, giving them a long silent glare until they stop.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me requests

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azucanela · 4 years

Text

HOLDING YOUR DRINK [GENDER NEUTRAL HEADCANNONS]

FT. AKAASHI KEIJI, IWAIZUMI HAJIME, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, TSUKISHIMA KEI

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST | 1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: In which Y/N needs someone to hold their drink.

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, mild violence, based on the tik tok trend, one curse word, nothing explicitly mentioned but be weary of the implications of drug use and such [lmk if there are any others i should include]

A/N: this is tik tok’s fault but yeah kjashdkjash

AKAASHI KEIJI

HEADCANNONS

ah. sweet, sweet, pretty boy akaashi

always pretty, but sweet? haha... thats about to change.

this is probably bokuto’s fault, akaashi feels the need to supervise him though, especially after that one time he left him unattended at a party and he jumped off the roof into the pool and nearly drowned because he forgot he could swim

yeah.

akaashi isn’t one for pda aside from the basic stuff like hand holding and maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek and he knows you are perfectly independent and thats all good and dandy, but even when hes being social and talking to his friends he still has one eye on you and one eye on bokuto

when you finally make your way over to him, asking him to hold your drink while you use the restroom, he simply nods to you, takes your drink in one hand, and covers it with the other, nonchalantly.

to say that akaashi, your boyfriend, is shocked when a random person comes up to him claiming to be your boyfriend comes up to him and asking for your drink, would be an understatement

almost instantly he calls out, “bokuto.” his voice is loud and firm enough that bokuto is looking in his direction almost instantly, ceasing his dancing on top of a table. when akaashi waves him over, he gives him a look of confusion but ends up coming over to where akaashi and this stranger is

and he enters the conversation hearing the stranger say, “im their boyfriend and they asked me to get their drink now hand it over.”

bokuto, naturally, is confused goes to say, “wait i thought y/n was—”

“bokuto.” akaashi silences him with a look, extending the hand with your drink to bokuto, much to the chagrin of the stranger and only serving to further confuse bokuto, though he accepts the drink nonetheless.

akaashi wordlessly takes bokutos freehand and places it on top of the drink to cover the top, before turning to the guy, who had started complaining

and then punching him in the face

never in his life could bokuto recall a time in which he was scared of akaashi

until now

akaashi turns back around to bokuto, taking your drink from his hand and shielding it once more, as though he DIDN’T just resort to violence.

you’ll never know this happened until one day someone talks about how akaashi is the calmest and kindest person ever and bokuto is like HA REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUNCHED THAT GUY CLAIMING TO BE Y/N’S BOYFRIEND IN THE FACE?

gosh darn bokuto that was supposed to be a SECRET you SNITCH

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

HEADCANNONS

HASDHJGAD

THESE PPL GOTTA BE DUMB TO EVEN TRY LMAO

oikawa probably dragged iwaizumi to another party or something and iwa-chan over here was like bruh there is no way in hell that i am the only person that is going to be sober while dealing with a DRUNK oikawa, thats too much to handle alone

so if oikawa doesn’t make you go, then iwaizumi will, for his sanity please agree to go. he’d never force you but PLEASE, he can’t do this alone.

honestly iwaizumi is the perfect person to hold your drink ngl, he’s definitely sober at whatever party he does to, not the type to drink your drink on accident or on purpose, our boy iwa is perfect per usual

you probably tell him you gotta use the bathroom and ask him to hold you’re drink and he’s like, “yeah, of course. take your time, i got it.” and then you leave, he is now standing alone, leaning against a wall. he’s holding your drink, with his palm covering the top while scrolling through his phone with his freehand AND watching oikawa to ensure he doesn’t accidentally decapitate himself because iwa MULTITASKS

a few people probably try to hit on him and he’s like no <3 im in a committed relationship have a nice day <3

and then some random guy approaches

now iwaizumi is a very intimidating person so im shocked this person had the BALLS to even try but they start spewing nonsense about how you told them to come retrieve you drink from him

at some point the guy probably implies that you’ll be going home with him and thats when iwaizumi sees oikawa passing by, releasing a laugh before calling out for Oikawa, “hey! shittykawa come here!”

oikawa is pouting but he comes over and sees the guy and is like, “oh whos this iwa chan?

and iwaizumi is laughing again as he gestures to the guy and goes, “apparently the guy whos taking y/n home.”

and then he goes, “do me a favor and hold this oikawa.” and oikawa is handed your drink, something that raises questions in him because why iwa chan?

he doesn’t have time to ask of course, because iwaizumi has already rammed his fist into the stranger’s face, effectively knocking him into the floor. ah the power of the ace of aoba johsai :)

he definitely would’ve kept going, threatening the guy as he wrecked his face until the message got through his thick skull, had you not arrived and witnessed the mans bloody nose, stopping iwaizumi from continuing

“he’s not worth it.”

“no, he’s not. but you are.”

i am in love with iwaizumi lol

anywho

you’re drink is very safe with the one and only iwaizumi hajime.

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

HEADCANNONS

IM CANT BREATHE THIS MANS

y’all are visiting home since you’ve been off at uni for quite some time now, the gang is back together, daichi, asahi, kiyoko and a few others y’all met through volleyball in high school

you and suga have probably been in a relationship since you left high school, because it took y’all three years to figure yourselves out. its basically just reminding each other to ya know... take care of yourself mentally and physically

and of course, now that you’re all of age, you go to a club, maybe a college party that a friend of a friend is having

regardless, suga is always going to have an eye on you, he’s gonna know your exact location at all times. though he isn’t going to follow you around or anything, everyone once in a while he’ll drop by, hand on the small of your back while you talk to some old friends—or new ones idk maybe you’re an extrovert. he’s checking on you though! he asks if you’ve eaten, have you been drinking water, is there anything you need, are you feeing okay?

then he’ll press a kiss to your cheek and leave to go hang out with daichi and suga, they’re all just sitting on the couch, maybe with some new friends too, maybe with old ones from his karasuno days

you come over, all like, “babe would you mind holding my drink while i go to the bathroom?”

he’s like yes ofc ofc, and he takes your drink, probably sits with his elbow resting on his knee, holding the drink between his legs with his other hand over the top of the drink. he’s pretty subtle about it, you wouldn’t notice as he just nonchalantly takes the drink from you and carries on the conversation that there’s a small furrow in his brow because why is the world like this, you shouldn’t need someone to hold your drink

everyone would honestly forget the drink isn’t his

now if someone happened to come over claiming to be your friend or maybe even a potential hook up— something sugawara would laugh at as your boyfriend, probably pretending to be intrigued by the idea before revealing who he is — well let me just say...

a lot of people forget that out lovely mom friend and resident king, sugawara koushi, is also so very very very chaotic person.

which is why i KNOW when you hand sugawara that drink, if anyone even TRIES to take it from him, to ask him for it claiming you sent them, he will bark. suga WILL bark, he learnt how to just for this situation. he will also hiss.

moral of the story: i trust sugawara koushi with my drink

TSUKISHIMA KEI

HEADCANNONS

rip to whoever thought TRYING was a good idea

anywho

tsukishima did not want to go to this party, you probably dragged him to said party, and he only went because its you that dragged him to the party.

he’s probably vibing alone in a corner or something, maybe engaging in conversation on occasion if someone he tolerates happens to be at the party, otherwise he’s stuck to you like glue, just following you around, arm over your shoulder, shameless pda as he wraps his arms around you and lays his head in the crook of your neck as you talk to your friends

then you’re like lmao babe free me i need to use the bathroom, also watch my drink, and he’s like okay FINE be that, and he takes your drink and watches as you make your way through the crowd of people

he’ll probably wait by the bathroom for your return because ew people he doesn’t want to have to socialize— especially not alone. and if anyone tries to socialize, hit on him, anything, he’s really just gonna straight up make it clear that he is not in the mood

it doesn’t really occur to him to cover the drink until some random person comes up to him

claiming to be a friend of yours and having come to collect your drink for you

there are several issues here, first of all, tsukishima was fairly sure he knew all your friends and he did not recognize this stranger at all, and he was pretty sure if he asked their name he wouldn’t recognize that either

secondly, tsukishima knows you would’ve come to get not only your drink but him because he made it very clear that if you abandon him at the party to fend for his own he would be rather unhappy

so when tsukishima questions the person some more and realizes his suspicions are correct, they are in fact; a liar. he laughs. he genuinely laughs because wow YOU THOUGHT you could fool him?

idiot.

he’s covering your drink with his palm— because he isn’t going to set it down? that’s just plain dumb, and tsukishima isn’t dumb. no, he’s covering it with his palm, and then using his free hand to grab this stranger by the neck and slam them into the wall he had just been leaning on because he needs to make it very clear that lmao this is NOT okay :D

this guys feet almost lift off the ground but tsukishima probably towers over the stranger because he’s a tall guy, and suddenly he’s threatening them, telling them that if they ever try something like that again they won’t be leaving the party.

“tsukki?”

hey look its you!

tsukishima offers the strange one final, warning of a smile, before patting their shoulder awkwardly and stepping away from them to turn to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder before nonchalantly just saying, “lets go. this is lame. oh— and here’s your drink.”

tags:

@therainroguefanfiction @beifongsss[girl idk if you even asked to be here but like now you are bc i forgot akjshdsajkdbs oops] @iwaizoom @shawkneecaps

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shoichee · 3 years

Note

ALSO CAN I ASK FOR SOME RANDOM GOM HCS U HAVE? like just random ones u have or if u want like some toxic hcs abt them :D

I’m assuming that I can include their negative traits of their personalities as well 👀 Also including Momoi in this… lots of analyzing for this hc, so I used my brain here pls appreciate AGAIN these are all headcanons/interpretations of possible toxic hcs about them and only a few are canon

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

Kuroko is the hardest person to find a “negative/toxic” trait in, and it doesn’t seem like he has any

kind, understanding, hardworking, and compassionate; he’s everything a good-natured protagonist is

but he’s only like this to people/hobbies he cares about/close with; anything else he’s quite apathetic and also very passive/neutral about

the biggest hint to this is when Akashi criticizes Kuroko for cherry-picking who the GoMs should “go all out against” and who to casually toy with

and Akashi is absolutely correct

most of the series is portrayed through Kuroko’s perspective, and Akashi is the first direct outside perspective who comments on his actions/attitude

it’s obviously not that Kuroko didn’t “notice”... he clearly sees and knows what these GoMs are doing; after all, he had a conversation with Aomine about how observant he is to everything around him

of course, if you were close to him, all your opinions and issues matter to him

it’s the fact that what’s not really important to him is suddenly now important just because someone he knows is involved

just an example: if someone was advocating climate change, he has no opinion on it until someone he knows cares about the issue

in other words, he has a subtle hypocritical view on things, especially when he interacts with others

another clear negative trait could be that he’s too idealistic or perhaps naive, seeing things in a clear black-or-white picture and not necessarily a gray area

WE know, as an audience, that the GoMs honestly needed therapy and a proper adult to guide their out-of-control talents

but Kuroko, in his eyes, had viewed them as “bad” and “evil” in their ways of basketball until they changed after their respective matches

he’s probably someone who doesn’t yield to other opinions once he forms his own, and this may make him unable to consider things in other people’s perspectives

which is again, ironic: someone who doesn’t have generally a strong stance but once they do, it’s very unyielding, which further proves Akashi’s comment about Kuroko’s tendency to nitpick which to care about

a final hc about a potential flaw he might have here in a different ask!

Kise Ryota

y’all… it’s as canon as day that he has a mean side

straight from the author himself, it’s confirmed that Kise is only kind to those who he respects, and to the rest, he’s cold-hearted

in the manga, it’s very clear that he’s super judgmental on every first impression on people he meets, boxing them into categories based on the way they look, act, and speak

only when they surpass his preset expectations (low or high depends on his preliminary judgments of them) is when he opens his mind to the rest of their personality

this is a very close-minded way of thinking, and I hope I don’t need to explain why LOL

this can be interpreted as him being two-faced by the majority of the people in his school

his way of speaking can definitely be very cruel and crass, and to sensitive people, his words can easily shatter hearts

Kise’s negative/toxic traits are pretty straightforward here, so let’s move on

Midorima Shintarou

his harsh words can be considered a “negative” part of his personality, but I think it’s a lot more than just that

it’s confirmed in the series that he’s a bystander and almost always minds his own business

on one hand, one can say he’s self-driven and that he constantly strives for self-improvement

on the other, it can be interpreted as him being very dangerously ambitious and selfish, in which most actions he takes are for the sole reason of self-improvement and not for altruistic reasons

for example, when he helped Kuroko and Kagami in the training camp, it was under the reasoning that them becoming stronger would be a good challenge for himself to test and learn

that’s not to say that he can’t have friends, but most friendships he’s built are with capable people who can potentially provide him with some new beneficial skill/goal to strive towards

after all, he’s only learned to trust Takao as a friend only after seeing him as someone capable

because he’s so focused on himself, he’s extremely likely to turn a blind eye to injustice, most also likely to use Oha Asa to justify their “misfortunes” as he continues on his day

he’s not cold-hearted, but altruism comes by Midorima a lot rarer than the average person

now, we know that his Oha Asa aspect is used to balance his serious side as the “comedic side” of him, but if we really think about it, his obsessions with the horoscopes could be a huge obstacle in the future, where he may refuse to listen/depend on others in favor of his own intuition and the stars; after all, no one knows everything, and depending on the stars as one’s next source of advice and guidance isn’t a sound decision to commit themselves to

he seems like the person who overthinks and jumps to conclusions when it comes to social situations, but instead of confronting the person, he turns to fate and fortune if Takao isn’t near to help

Aomine Daiki

I wouldn’t be surprised if Aomine had a skewed sense of beauty standards from all those magazines he consumed and from being around Momoi for the majority of his life

of course anyone can distinguish pieces of media from reality, but during the most impressionable years of life, without experiencing other types of people and physiques, he would have limited knowledge on what “beauty” is and whatnot

this probably would be more of a problem in his adolescence than adult

a very given negative trait is his short temper plus his tendency to turn to physical violence when someone nags him to a certain point, seen with how he’s treated Wakamatsu in the beginning (though this seems to almost disappear by the end of the series)

what I’ve noticed in every scene he’s in, is that everything seems to revolve around him and his hobbies of basketball and Japanese idols

what I mean is that everytime we see Aomine, it’s always Momoi approaching to Aomine or just him always being the center of attention; never once has he approached Momoi for anything and it’s always been the other way around

in other words, people have to cater to him in order to get along with him/be in good graces (additional example: Imayoshi letting him do as he pleases to get him to be cooperative and participate in the games)

we’ve actually never seen Momoi’s hobbies outside of being a manager for her basketball teams and just anything basketball-related

he can be quite apathetic, choosing to only pay attention and try in things he’s interested in… which is basketball and those magazines

he seems to mature in the Last Game though, so I’m not quite sure to what extent these headcanons would apply to older Aomine (these also don’t really apply to Puremine)

Momoi Satsuki

the author probably also included this type of anime trope as comedy, but belittling another female for her body is definitely a no-go in reality; I feel like this is something most people gloss over really lightly

her body comments on Riko are actually what made me skeptical of her character at first before the show really shows her entire personality

that being said, it seems that she always takes the opportunity to look down on other girls (especially to those she is a stranger to) as a sort of “competition” when there’s boys around

definitely at certain moments, she screams a “pick-me girl” type of person (real phenomenon, you can search this up!)

while Kuroko doesn’t seem to actively mind this, I think she also has no good sense of boundaries and what’s considered appropriate touch and consent; people can chalk this up to “oh it’s just infatuation,” but this definitely isn’t okay if we really think about this

her life also seems to revolve around either Aomine or Kuroko, and based from that, I’d feel like she’d have a difficult time forming her own identity/life separate from her “manager life,” especially once she graduates from Touou

can definitely be interpreted as too clingy at certain moments, while others may think it’s her way of showing that she cares

Murasakibara Atsushi

most people would chalk up Murasakibara as “lazy,” and on the surface level, it does appear to look that way…

I think his true negative trait is that he has a lack of intrinsic motivations to drive him to do things

it’s different from being lazy; someone can be lazy while still having a goal, and certainly someone can be lazy while they’re motivated by thoughts of “I want to learn more,” “I want to get stronger,” etc. (you guys, it’s me right now in college)

and he doesn’t have that

part of this was contributed to the fact that he’s already so gifted with genetics and thus, there’s never been a goal for him to have to work towards to when he’s already at the top

he doesn’t actively seek out, and while that may be a characteristic of sloth, it’s not exactly right either

he willingly does things if people around him give him the motivations/reasons to do so; a person of sloth wouldn’t do anything even with all the motivations and goals handed right to their face

snacks/food are examples of extrinsic motivations that fuel him to carry on daily life

Himuro is always the main motivator for Murasakibara to come out and watch matches, and he also does whatever Akashi orders in both Teiko and present days // a person who can give the giant the motivation to do tasks would get along with him the most

searching out for a challenge against his basketball skills is something that’s never crossed his mind

why? he grew to be like the way he is because of the lack of results from his “search” of a challenge throughout his games

again, it’s only when Murasakibara gets handed a silver-platter of a challenge, Jason Silver, that actively gets him pumped up and raring to go

as such, Murasakibara is equivalent to a rusty machine, extremely difficult to start up and find compatibility with, but very powerful and efficient once he finds that spark

Murasakibara finding any partner or friend in the future would be extremely difficult because he ticks a different tune from the rest

Akashi Seijuro

his entire Bokushi side was a giant-ass red flag for very obvious reasons LOL anyways, moving on…

it’s difficult to pinpoint a negative characteristic for Oreshi because he’s the pinnacle of a gentleman character… but that technically is also his negative trait

for him to maintain that perfect image for himself and others, he has always carried himself in such a way that doesn’t allow for errors or expressions of “weakness”

thus, bottling up his frustrations and emotions to the point of no return is something very familiar to Akashi, and I’d feel like Bokushi is the result of his overflowing emotions left unchecked in the first place

I also predict that if Akashi continues to carry himself without letting himself wind down and feel emotions on the spot rather than locking it up inside him, a day will come when he splits into two halves again with a “new” Bokushi to deal with his current life (and let the current Oreshi take a backseat in his psyche to take a break from the turmoil)

also will tend to overwork himself to manage people’s expectations as well as his own, and he’s not one to depend on people not because he sees them as inferior or incapable, but because he’s doing this out of habit from being in positions of authority and responsibility for much of his life

and so, he may tend to hide important things or just not speak about his problems in general to those close to him because he feels like he can do it all himself and spare everyone the work and stress associated with them (a leader mentality)

throughout the majority of his life being calm and calculated, his emotions would definitely escape from him in forms of uncontrollable lashes of anger… before he would realize what he’s done… that is, assuming that another Bokushi hasn’t form within his subconscious yet

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