#i love drawing angst but dumb fluff is good 2
Text
ateez as royals who fall for you (maknae line)
read hyung line here
genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes
length: 11.3k
c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)
a/n: as much as writing royals was tricky, it's kind of 🤢 sad 🤢 to see this au end. that being said nobody ask me for a pt 2 pls i need to recover from the trauma LMAOO and as always, huge thank you to the queen of royal au's herself @sorryimananti-romantic for helping me finish the fic and for teaching me how to make moodboards using something that is *not* word doc :')
san
pov: you're forbidden lovers
“shh,” san hushes you with a teasing curl of his fingers that are buried inside you. “wouldn’t want everyone outside to know what a dirty little slut the princess is, do you?”
his other hand covers your mouth, stifling the breathy moans and desperate whines that escape your lips as you sit in between his legs, naked and pressed back to lean against his chest
there is the sound of water splashing over the edge of the bathtub when san hooks his feet around your inner ankles so that he can spread your legs wider for him
he presses the palm of his hand harshly against your clit and your back arches with a muffled worship of his name
“or maybe you like that,” he teases “you like the idea of people knowing how good i make you feel with my fingers”
san removes his hand from your mouth and lowers it to pinch your nipple, smirking against your neck as you babble incoherently
he coos as he adds yet another finger into you, “imagine that, everyone knows you as the princess who loves being fucked dumb. and by one of her servants, no less”
all caution is thrown to wind and you drop your head back to lean against his shoulder, mouth lolling open with unrestrained pleads for more, more, faster as he angles his fingers to hit that sweet spot inside of you
“cum, princess” he demands
you grip bruises onto san’s thighs and arms when the pace of his fingers doesn’t relent even after your orgasm has washed over you
his arms tighten around you as his thighs flex to keep you still in his hold
you let out a choked sob from the overstimulation, teetering between pain and pleasure
“give me one more, i know you can do it,” he coaxes
the hand that has been fondling your breasts snakes down to rub your clit
with his fingers knuckle-deep inside of your pussy and his other hand playing relentlessly with your sensitive clit, the scale tips over and your vision blurs as another wave of pleasure hits you, more intense than the first one
“princess?” and then a knock. “are you okay?”
san slowly draws out the remainder of your orgasm with lazy thrusts of his finger into you
you just know he’s enjoying himself when you have to hide the shakiness in your voice to answer back to your maid outside, “everything’s fine. i’ll be done soon”
“soon?” san smirks, lifting you up by the waist to align your folds with his swollen cock. “then we better make this quick”
because you and san do not have the luxury of time, much less the luxury of love
he isn’t just another one of the numerous servants who serve you
he is everything to you despite how taboo it is for a princess and servant to love each other
his insignificance within the palace makes it much easier for him to slip away; for nobody to take notice
but at the same time, his insignificance is the whole reason why you two must be secretive in the first place
you make sure san has safely snuck out of the bathroom before you finally exit the bathtub and stand on unsteady legs
you allow your maids to come in and help you into the elaborate attire you are to wear for the afternoon
your parents have informed you that you are going to have visitors, thus requiring you to look your best
without much time left until the appointed meeting due to your…escapade, you make your way to the great hall, catching a glimpse of san’s dimpled smile from amongst the other body servants and waiting staff in the room
you have only just settled into your seat next to the king and queen when the guard outside the doors announces the arrival of your guests - the monarchs from the neodonian kingdom
schooling your expression to one of neutrality, you watch as they enter
and then you realise it isn’t just the neodonian king and queen who have come to visit
but the prince as well
he is undeniably handsome and pleasing to the eye with his sleekly gelled hair, chiseled features and tall, sturdy build
the young prince catches you looking at him and breaks out into a friendly smile and-
oh
he has dimples too
the king garners everyone’s attention with a clear of his throat, before he welcomes the monarchs
prince jaehyun, you learn his name is
“after much discussion between ourselves and king jeong and queen jeong, we are pleased to announce our desire for closer relations between our kingdoms,” your father starts, booming voice resounding within the hall
you can’t stop yourself from looking over at him as he speaks with purpose, a strange niggling feeling starting to twist your stomach
the tight smile that your mother passes you from your father’s other side does little to settle your nerves
“as such,” the king continues, “we shall look forward to the engagement between my daughter and prince jaehyun”
there is a roaring sound in your ears, as if you have been pushed to stand under a raging waterfall
engagement
the engagement
you
prince jaehyun
the engagement between you and prince jaehyun
it takes everything in your body not to bolt up from your seat
your hands grip the armrests of your seat with a grasp so tight you are certain you will leave a permanent imprint of your agony
instead, you look around frantically for the one person your instincts are screaming for
where is san?
you are afraid to see how much this is going to hurt him
you are desperate to tell him that you had no idea about this
you are aching to press confessions of love and reassurance against his lips
but just like the insignificance of his status, san is nowhere to be seen
over the two years that you and san have been in your secret relationship, he has gained extensive knowledge of which particular tasks allow him a greater chance of seeing you, which corridors reach you the quickest, and which times during your schedule you have a break
never would you have thought he would use this knowledge to avoid you
it continues like that for the weeks following the announcement
you have no choice but to spend time with your future fiance when your father tells you very clearly to “ensure the prince feels at home”
prince jaehyun is warm and you find yourself getting along with him like you two are friends, but that is it - there are no sparks brighter than friendship
when you spend time with him, you cannot help but compare him to san; san would’ve said this, san would’ve done that, san, san, san
jaehyun engages you in conversation, easily filling in the gaps and lulls with little comments here and there, equipped with a charming laugh and deep dimples
but it only reminds you of san’s dimples and crescent eyes when you two would race through corridors, fingers tightly interwoven as you both run away to a secluded area with hushed giggles
jaehyun points out that neither of you like mushrooms during a dinner and helps nudge the servings on both of your plates to one side
the smile as you say “thank you” does not fully grace your lips because you think about san, who boasts that he will eat all the mushrooms in the world so that you never have to lay eyes on one ever again
jaehyun offers a soft yet sturdy hand to help you down the stairs or when he notices you are walking in heels across an uneven surface
your body recalls san’s rough, calloused hands that leave a trail of goosebumps wherever they touch your bare skin as he worships your body all night long
jaehyun is handsome and he is kind, but he is not san
the night before the king officially announces your engagement with prince jaehyun arrives
and still, you have not had a moment alone with san since he disappeared during that first announcement in the great hall
hurt and longing consume you to the very core
some days it is manageable, a concealed yet incessant thought, like a sticker stuck to the sole of your shoe
other days it wraps around your soul completely like a constrictor tightening as it slowly squeezes the life out of its prey
but you know that you cannot be selfish
what you feel, san feels with an intensity multiplied several times
after all, you are not the one who must stand in the shadows as the love of your life becomes engaged to somebody else, powerless to do anything but watch and poison your own smile with lies
you are lying on your bed when a quick, sharp knock sounds on your bedroom doors
you make no move to acknowledge your visitor, having told your maids very clearly you did not want to be disturbed tonight
your last night as yourself before you become prince jaehyun’s fiance
but then the knocks come a little more urgent, a little more frantic, just like your heartbeat does as it starts to speed up in anticipation
you hold your breath as you hurry to pull open the doors-
and there he is
“san-”
he swallows the rest of your words in a desperate kiss, his hands coming up to cradle your jaw as he walks you backwards so that he can step into your room
he tilts your head and slots his lips against yours again while he nudges your door closed with his foot
it isn’t until you let out a whine as his tongue swipes over your bottom lip that he pulls back to finally look at you, both of his thumbs caressing your cheekbones
you grip the front of his linen shirt, afraid that he will disappear as soon as you let go
“san, i- i had no idea, i didn’t agree to any of this”
he shushes you gently, a painful smile adorning his handsome face
“i know. i know, so please don’t cry, love,” he murmurs softly
you don’t even realise the weeks of suppressed emotions have started making their way down your face in salty trails until san uses the back of his fingers to tenderly brush them away
“i’m getting engaged tomorrow, san,” your voice breaks as reality settles in
you are so afraid
you are so lost
above all, you are so in love with san
“i know,” he reassures again, “but until tomorrow, you are still mine”
and so you spend your last night together
time has always been precious; conversations, kisses and touches rushed and with fervour
but tonight, san takes his time with you
he lays on your bed with you cradled on top of him, limbs tangled together as he savours the taste of your lips against his
he turns you onto your back as he slowly undresses you, leaving tattoos of his love each time he bares another part of your body
he pleasures you with his fingers whilst whispering into your ears, creating a harmony with his praises and the melodious moans that leave your lips
and as he brings you both to your highs numerous times throughout the night like an ingrained dance routine, it is accompanied with confessions of i love you
san holds you against his chest under your blankets so tightly that you cannot tell where your body ends and his body starts
before you drift off, safe and protected in his arms, he murmurs against your temple, “no matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what happens in the future, my heart will always be yours”
“as will mine”
you wake up the next morning to an empty bed and an equally empty heart
restless and drowning in a mix of emotions, you pace the empty corridors of the guest bedchambers
which is where jaehyun finds you as he exits his room
he is surprised but is quick to greet you kindly, “good morning, princess. what are you doing here?”
you pause mid-step
what are you doing?
“prince jaehyun,” you let the words come out of you before you can regret them. “can we talk for a moment?”
he nods, entering his room again as he pulls the door open wider for you to follow
jaehyun closes the door and then offers you a seat on his sofa, before pulling up his own chair and settling a respectful distance away from you
“i hope you don’t feel uncomfortable in my room,” he explains, “i thought that we would be less likely to be disturbed in here…considering most people know of our engagement today”
“actually, i wanted to talk to you about that”
“go on,” he encourages you with a dimpled smile
you take a deep breath
“i’m sorry,” you blurt out
and then you are admitting to the prince that he is lovely and charming and caring, but you just don’t see it working out with him
you don’t want to get engaged with him
because your heart already belongs to somebody else
“good”
“i’m so sorry, i should have been honest with you from the start but- wait, what?” you look up from where you have been nervously picking at your cuticles
jaehyun is smiling at you - a genuine smile that you did not know he had
“i’m actually relieved to hear that, princess,” he admits. “because i…also have someone that i love back home”
and for the first time, you and jaehyun truly see each other in the same light
“who is it?” he asks
“his name is san,” and then you add on, “he has dimples just like you do”
you ask him the same question
you see the way jaehyun’s expression softens with love from just the mere thought of the other
it makes you wonder whether you have the same look on your face when you mention san
jaehyun jokes, “want to be the one who tells your father we’re calling off the engagement? i don’t fancy getting executed today”
but despite what he says, mere hours later, when you are both standing in the great hall before your parents - the kings and queens of both your kingdoms - he is the one to speak up
“your majesty, we have decided to part ways peacefully and would not like to proceed with the engagement. our kingdom will always be your ally, regardless of marital relations or not”
“what?” you see veins starting to appear across the king’s forehead as he tries to maintain his temper, but the queen and the jeong monarchs seem to be taking the news much better
disappointed, perhaps, but understanding
the queen leans closer to remind the king that they had all agreed to this engagement on the terms that the decision would ultimately be yours and jaehyun’s
you suddenly speak up because this may be the only time you have the courage to
“i have one more thing to say,” you declare. “i revoke my noble status and thus declare nullified all the privileges, rules and traditions that come with nobility. i have someone i love and i wish to marry them as myself, not as the kingdom’s princess”
the king roars furiously, “that is enough! leave!” and he slams his hand against the throne’s armrest
shocked and betrayed by your father’s reaction, you rush out of the great hall with tears welling in your eyes
only to run straight into the waiting arms of san
“oh, princess,” he murmurs against the crown of your head as he engulfs you in his embrace
he doesn’t have to say anything for you to realise that he has heard the whole conversation
but you do not care about anything anymore
you are where you want to be, held by who you want to be with
“how are you here?” you sniffle
“jaehyun approached me earlier. i thought i was going to get beat up,” san’s attempt to make you smile is successful
when you lift your head up to look at him, you realise his eyes are wet as well
then you feel his body stiffen as his eyes shift to focus on something behind you
someone
he immediately steps away from you, bowing deeply as he greets the queen
you turn around to see her face adorning an endearing smile
“it’s fine, sannie,” she says, and you are not sure whether you and san are more surprised by the fact that she knows him by name or by the affectionate nickname she has used
“i’ll, uh, leave you two to talk,” he flusters
she thanks him with a teasing remark, “i won’t keep her away from you for very long”
san waits further down the corridor, back turned to give you two a moment of privacy
and then she is stroking your hair affectionately
“i am so proud of you. you’ve grown up so well and you are so brave,” she says
you don’t understand
you ask, “why aren’t you angry?”
“oh, baby,” she fondly runs her fingers through your hair, just like she used to when you were younger. “before my duties as the queen to my people, i am the mother to my daughter. i love you and all i want is for you to be happy”
your lips tremble with emotion as your mother pulls you into a hug
“does sannie make you happy, dear?”
you nod, “the happiest”
“then that is all i want. now go,” she takes a hold of your shoulders and gently turns you in the direction of san. “i’ll talk to your father”
with one last encouraging squeeze, you race down the corridor towards san
he hears your footsteps and has already turned around with open arms waiting to catch you
you hear him let out an oomph! with how hard you throw yourself into him, but he is then swaying your bodies side to side
san pulls back slightly with an incredulous look. “does this mean we can be together? together together?”
“i goddamn hope so because i gave up my princess privileges for you. no more carriages, no more assorted sweet delicacies, no more daily massages-” you fold down your fingers as you continue listing things off
he cuts you off with a tickle to your sides as he says, “that’s easy to sort out”
“first, you’ll still be my princess,” he unfurls one of your fingers so it stands upright again
“second, i’ll carry you myself so that you never need to use your feet again,” he unfurls another finger
“i’ll give you a treat whenever you want,” he kisses your lips, nibbling on your bottom lip with a teasing tug
“and, dear princess,” he pulls you flush against his body and you have to steady yourself on his chest to avoid tripping over, “i can give you hourly massages…”
smirking, he starts to lower his head to suck pretty marks onto your neck as he whispers in a low voice, “...if you can keep up”
mingi
pov: you're the prince's maid
for what you are about to do, you could very well be executed should somebody catch you
but desperate times call for desperate measures
and there’s no guarantee that you and all the other staff will not be executed anyway…
not with what has just happened in the palace
you push the door closed behind you with a soft click, using the brief changeover of guards to slip inside the bedroom of the youngest prince, unnoticed
you call out softly but urgently, “prince mingi”
when you hear him groggily murmur, starting to bubble towards the surface of consciousness, you dare to give his shoulder a rough shake
“prince mingi, please wake up”
his eyes flutter open, confusion starting to clear the fogginess in his head as he struggles to comprehend the sight of your face hovering inches from his, deep into the hours of the night
“w-what’s going on?” he clears his husky voice, “are you okay?”
you wish you could reach out and smooth the wrinkles of concern from his forehead
reassure him that everything will be okay until he falls back asleep
but there is no time
“the crown prince is dead and we must leave. now.”
the effect is immediate, like you have just driven a knife into his chest
although you suppose it must not feel very different for prince mingi right now
“the crown prince is d-” the word tastes vile on his tongue, so he asks after his second oldest brother instead. “what about prince eun?”
you must drive the knife into him once more
“he was the one who murdered the crown prince, but he has framed you for the murder. there is no time, prince mingi, we must leave now”
“the court will find me innocent,” yet he lets you tug him out of his bed
you hastily help prince mingi into a dark brown robe while you shake your head, “not when your inscribed sword is currently covered in the crown prince’s blood. we do not know who is secretly working for prince eun. until we know for sure, we do not stand a chance of clearing your name”
he knows that you’re right, even if his heart is hoping that you are wrong
the prince slides his hand into the gap between his bed and wall, pulling out a spare sword and wrapping the belt around his waist
eyes sweeping across his chamber one final time, he locks eyes with you grimly before turning to flee
you follow the prince through a back passageway - it’s not entirely a secret and it won’t be long before the royal guards come for the prince, discover his empty bedroom and give chase
but it is long enough to give you two a head start
he helps you up onto the back of his personal horse before he swings himself up easily onto the saddle behind you
with a nudge of his feet, the prince sends the horse into a gallop
you startle with a yelp, having never ridden a horse before, much less one at this pace
prince mingi presses himself a little closer to you and slots his chest against your back as he leans forward to guide your hands to hold the reins with his
“here,” he murmurs, “just follow me”
he shifts one hand to settle on your waist, guiding your body into a comfortable rhythm that dances in sync with the horse’s movements and his own
when he’s sure you’ve gotten the hang of it, the prince places his hand back on the reins, yet he stays close, keeping you safely encased within his arms to prevent you from falling off
you’re not sure how long you two ride for
but at some point the prince slows the horse to a canter
with the slower sway of the steed, the steady clack of hooves against the forest floor, and the warmth of the prince around you, you drift off to his whispered, “sleep, i’ve got you”
you wake up to find yourself on a scratchy pile of leaves
the events of last night piece themselves together when you spot prince mingi, still adorning his deep blue silk pajamas, leaning against a tree a few feet away
it would have been a sight to see if not for the fact that-
“what are we going to do now?” you sit up, and the prince’s robe, you now register, falls from around your body
the prince gives you a warm smile as you rub the sleep from your eyes with fisted hands
“we’ll head into halsburg. the town is small enough the news should not have traveled that far yet. we’ll replenish some supplies and go from there”
it’s unspoken
the fact that there is no solid plan from there
even if the two of you have managed to escape the royal guards, for how long can you two run?
plus, it will be impossibly difficult to find evidence while on the run, when the answers are within the castle walls themselves
but you push those thoughts aside as you two enter halsburg, the prince’s hood pulled up over his face
you do the bulk of the purchases, less likely to be recognised by the townspeople
it’s mainly food and water for yourself, the prince, and his horse, and a simple tunic to replace his royal pajamas - something you have been teasing him about since you woke up
later that night, hours away from the outskirts of halsburg, you two settle for a couple hours of rest
a small fire crackles away to the song of the cicadas, an occasional pop as the licks of flames cast shadows across your faces
you glance at the prince sitting across from you, who is idly fiddling with his pajama top
specifically, the royal crest of the song family embroidered onto its front pocket
your heart clenches painfully, knowing the death of a family member is hard enough to process without the additional weight of being framed for murder, much less by your own brother who is the real culprit
“prince mingi…” you start, voice low
he glances up at you, eyes softening as he curves his lips up into a small smile, “i’m okay.”
you hesitate for a split second before letting the clench in your gut pull you to your feet, and you shuffle to settle back down in front of the fire, except this time beside the prince
all the while his eyes never leave you, not even when you nudge his shoulder softly and say,
“you don’t have to be strong. not in front of me…”
and he knows
because despite the differences in your social statuses, you are the person he trusts the most
you, the girl who used to trip over the lengths of his robes that you carried, now a woman who holds herself righteously and bravely
you, who chose to risk your own life from the moment you woke him up in his chambers
you, who is still risking your life to flee with him
“only if you stop calling me prince,” he jokingly nudges you back, attempting to make the atmosphere lighter despite the wetness that is starting to paint his eyes. “with you, i am just mingi”
“okay, prince mingi,” you tease
yet, you still extend a hand out to him, palm upturned in a silent invitation for comfort should he wish to seek it, because you can tell that he isn’t quite ready to seek it verbally
mingi laces his larger fingers through yours, tucking your interlocked hands closer to his body as he draws his knees up so that he can rest his chin upon them
mingi thinks that he feels numb more than anything, but he finds he isn’t as surprised as one would expect him to be
perhaps he always knew of his middle brother’s thirst for the throne
he just never thought it would be enough to spill blood
for now though, he lets himself be distracted by your thumb tracing mindless patterns against his knuckles
he lets himself relish in the heat radiating from your side that seems to warm him from inside out, even as the embers of the fire slowly lose their glow and die out with the darkening night
the days start to repeat themselves
you two cover as much distance as you can while sparing what time you can afford for yourselves and mingi’s horse to rest
mingi has decided to travel to prince yunho's kingdom, an old and trusted ally who may be able to provide you two with protection while he pulls strings to fight back against prince eun
from his calculations, the journey will take at least another two weeks
and although mingi doesn’t tell you this, deep down he does not know whether you two have two weeks left
the threat of the royal guards catching up hangs over the two of you like a hangman’s noose
neither of you have brought up that night by the fire either
but something has definitely changed in the way you seek comfort and reassurance in each other
as if so long as you have each other, everything will be alright in the end
when you feel him tremble as he sleeps curled around you, restless from a plaguing nightmare, you hush sweet nothings and brush his locks away from his forehead until his breathing steadies out again
and when you’re seated on the saddle in front of him, you now having long grown accustomed to horse riding, he still finds himself resting a comforting hand on you somewhere - your hips, thigh or over your own hand
sometimes when he is laughing softly with you, your arms brushing against each other, you imagine a different story; one where you are worthy of loving him
sometimes when you are tucked into his chest, small exhales escaping your open lips as you sleep, mingi imagines a different story; one where he is able to love you freely
because despite the blood running through his veins that has ultimately led to his downfall, you still look at him as though he has placed the stars in the very sky that you two have spent countless nights under
and although he knows the reality is that he cannot, he tries to write his own story, even if just for tonight
you are lying in his arms, legs tangled together, when the question comes tumbling out of his lips
“will you stay with me, forever?”
he feels you still in his embrace, before you’re pulling back a little to look at him with a chuckle
“you should be asking a princess that, prince mingi, not somebody like me”
“you are a princess in my eyes”
you can’t help the endearing look that crosses over your face as you lightly tap his nose, “you know that is not how it works”
“then we can run away. for i am already as good as dead to my kingdom,” he tells you with boyish determination
“you cannot, mingi. your people need a good prince”
“but what prince would i be if i cannot even boldly love you? the person who is dearest to me?”
under his sincere gaze and the weight of his words, you allow him this moment of solace
because perhaps, you want it just as much as he does
“okay, i’ll be your princess,” you breathe out
“forever?”
“forever”
that night, it is just you and mingi - no titles that separate your world from his, no looming threat of death - just two people in love
even as an uneasy pit settles at the bottom of mingi’s stomach, a growing feeling that gnaws away at him into the early hours of the next morning
he is startled awake, your expression frightened, and he immediately understands when he hears the thunderous chorus of hooves hitting the ground towards you two
mingi had known there was not much time left, but he did not think that the inevitable confrontation would happen this soon, only mere hours after the soft kiss he had pressed against your forehead
the desperate attempt to escape once more is futile, the royal guards closing the distance within minutes
left with no choice but to stop, you and mingi demount and the guards move to flank you both in a wide semicircle
when the head of the guards, prince eun, saunters forward, mingi matches with a stride of his own so that he can step in front of you
“you killed the crown prince, eun,” mingi spits at his brother
“running and denying your actions up until your very last moments, i see,” prince eun laughs condescendingly. “and you even took a little dog with you, too”
mingi presses you closer to his back, hiding you from the leering gaze of his brother
prince eun smiles smugly at mingi’s reaction, before he takes out a scroll and unravels it
“for high treason of the assassination of the crown prince, the king hereby decrees the immediate revocation of nobility of his third son, song mingi, and for the execution of song mingi and his maid upon sighting.”
you press your nose into mingi’s back, taking one last inhale of his familiar scent
the bowmen all take aim as prince eun sneers, “any last words, brother?”
mingi turns around, and all you can see in that moment are his warm eyes and dimpled cheeks
“i love you, my princess,” he proclaims
“forever,” you reply
he brings his lips down to connect them with yours, drowning out the distinct vibration of loosening strings and the hiss of flying arrows with the roaring symphony in your hearts
you’re unsure what pain swallows you whole first - the pain as an arrowhead sinks into your chest, or the pain as you realise that this is the end of your short-lived love with mingi
you struggle to keep the smile on your face as you lock eyes with mingi, trying to memorise the loving gaze that adorns his own face
you see his mouth moving, but the pain exploding throughout your body is too loud for you to make out his words
with your last breath, you gasp out your final confession, “i love you too, mingi. we’ll meet again in the next life”
as the world starts to fade away, cold creeping into your limbs, you hope that in another story, in another lifetime, you and mingi will be able to find each other again
wooyoung
pov: you're the princess of a rival kingdom
“absolutely not, advisor lee,” your mother raises her nose in the air
“your highness, i understand but-”
“oh please, do not flatter yourself, queen cho,” queen jung spits out, “you are not the only one who abhors the idea”
you glare at the prince sitting across from you, your own gazes reflecting the tension in the room
advisor lee has suggested that your family and the jung family host a joint royal ball as a grand display of amity between the two neighbouring kingdoms, particularly between the princess - yourself - and their prince - prince wooyoung
there have been spreading rumours in town of the strained relationship between the two royal families
which aren’t entirely untrue
as a child, the two kingdoms have been loyal and steadfast in their alliance and friendship
in fact, it is not uncommon to find you joining prince wooyoung in his kitchen, begging the chefs to let you two lick the spoons
or to find prince wooyoung squatting next to you in your garden as you both look at the ladybugs
but as power imbalances emerge and political agendas start to diverge, a wedge is driven between your families
the relation is now dangerously close to severing completely, but not without the increasing attention of the towns surrounding the two kingdoms
and one of the last things both royal families need is unease and disunity amongst the commoners
which brings advisor lee to look on with exasperation as he tries to do his job - advise
except neither your mother nor queen jung look ready to accept his advice
your father nods slightly at the two of you, “you are dismissed, as are you, prince wooyoung”
you curtsy as the prince takes a slight bow, before you obnoxiously flick your hair over your shoulder and turn away on your heels
you escape to the garden, knowing that the meeting will take at least another hour before you are required to bid the jung family farewell
except, surprise surprise
who do you run into
you narrow your eyes at prince wooyoung as he steps towards you, who has one eyebrow quirked, “a royal ball, he says?”
“absolutely not,” you fold your arms across your chest
“oh please, do not flatter yourself, princess,” he sneers, not dissimilar to the nasally tone his mother had voiced her dissatisfaction earlier with
neither of you back down, daring the other to say something else
before you two break out into giggles, eyes glittering scandalously
“did you see your mother deliberately pass the salt instead of sugar for the tea?”
“and then the face my mother made when she took a sip of it-”
he pulls you to crouch behind an azalea bush as you both chortle like children, out of sight, before he brings you in for a dizzying kiss
you sigh, resting a hand on his chest
“do you also abhor the idea of dancing with me, prince wooyoung?” a teasing lilt in your voice
“absolutely,” he nods grimly, “why go to all that effort when there is a much grander and longer-lasting solution?”
“and what is that, my prince?”
he sneaks another chaste kiss from your lips, “for me to take your hand in marriage, my princess”
at his words, your smile dampens
“you know that i would say yes in a heartbeat. it is not i who needs convincing, but our parents”
because despite the growing hostility between your two families, the relationship you share with wooyoung has, ironically, blossomed into one of well-concealed adoration, intimacy and love
you two have come to learn that that one slightly lighter stone on the western side of your kingdom’s outer walls comes loose, and is the perfect size for slipping a piece of paper behind it
you two have also come to learn that every fourth week, if you ask your personal tutor enough questions about the plants laid out on the store’s table in front of you during your scheduled lesson in town, you’ll be able to drag it out long enough for you both to just catch a glimpse of each other as he and his escorts cut through the town on their way back to his kingdom
and of course, you two have come to learn the most isolated spots in your own respective kingdoms, like the second stairwell leading down to the cellar in wooyoung’s palace
and amongst the azalea bushes in the back garden in yours
which is exactly how you knew that he would appear, how you knew that he would give you those sweet kisses you have been craving so desperately
as wooyoung cups your jaw to kiss you once more, one that leaves you wanting to chase his lips forever, he bets you that it’ll only take two weeks of close-quarter meetings between your royal families before one of your mothers blow up and the ball idea falls through completely
in response, you bet him that they won’t even last two weeks - one at the most
except you’re both wrong
the meeting turns into two, followed by several more as the planning goes ahead
sometimes, the meetings are held in the jung palace
other times, their family journeys to your kingdom instead
one thing that stays constant is the malevolence in the air
the parents are sarcastic snipes and saccharine smiles
and on the surface, you and wooyoung are further extensions of your own parents’ simmering loathing for the other
but under the intricately-carved wooden table, you two are playing footsies, jeweled heels and leather shoes engaged in a playful fight
you see how many times you can slide your heels up along his shin, gradually inching closer towards his inner thigh with each coquettish touch
he has you pass him anything and everything under the guise of forgoing the help of the numerous royal butlers and maids around the room to deliberately irritate you
really, it is to accidentally brush his fingers over your hands; to see the pretty shade of rose that settles over your cheeks and ears as you both try not to break out into giggles
and perhaps, during the meals that may take place during the meetings, there have been a couple of peas flicked at each other here and there when no one is paying attention
(unbeknownst to you two, the maids and butlers alike must hide their own endearing smiles)
the weeks turn into months and you practically have a permanent glow radiating from you, now that you have been seeing the prince so frequently
(which also does not go unnoticed)
as you select a necklace from the assortment of choices to emphasise the plunging neckline of your off-shoulder gown, you wonder how the day of the royal ball has arrived so quickly
your personal maid, jihye, carefully fixes the clasp of the necklace around you before stepping back to let you look in the mirror
you smooth a hand over the soft lavender charmeuse of your dress, nervously looking at jihye
“how do i look?”
“stunning, my princess,” she assures you, before adding, “prince wooyoung will definitely love it”
“prin- he- what? i- sorry?” you say unintelligibly, before you try to salvage the situation by tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you laugh her off
but jihye just looks at you knowingly
meanwhile, prince wooyoung is already at the grand hall, the jung family having arrived two days prior for the final preparations of the ball
he and his friends, princes from kingdoms located further up north and towards the east, are lingering around one of the tables decorated with flower arrangements and elaborate candle holders, ignoring the longing glances of other attendees, women and men alike, thrown at their striking posse
wooyoung is trying to keep his gaze subtle, scanning the vast number of people at the ball without craning or turning his head, searching for one particular face
yours
prince yeosang nudges the others, jerking his chin to motion towards the distracted wooyoung
when wooyoung finally realises he isn’t as subtle as he thinks, all his friends are already looking at him with varying degrees of smirks
“just know that if there were not so many people here,” wooyoung begins with a pleasant smile, “i would flip you all off right now”
before he can try stepping on his friends’ toes in the form of petty revenge, prince seonghwa points towards the entrance as his smile grows impossibly wider
“look”
wooyoung turns around
and like any typical man who is head over heels in love, the world around him slows down
the gushing whispers spreading throughout the ballroom fade into the background
because finally, there you are, gracefully stepping past the threshold of the arched doorway in all your alluring beauty, accentuated by the way your curled locks and flowing gown frame your body
for the briefest moment, you lock eyes with him, and wooyoung feels his brain shutting down on him
“you’re going to catch a fly in your mouth, woo”
“pick up your jaw. it’s on the ground”
prince yunho pretends to dab wooyoung’s mouth with the ruffled sleeves of his cream shirt, “you’re drooling, darling”
at that, wooyoung smacks his lips dazedly before coming to a moment of realisation, blinking hard twice to bring himself back to reality
“god, you’re hopeless. just go up and talk to her,” prince hongjoong snickers. “the whole point of this ball is to show off how ‘close’ your families are anyway”
wooyoung grumbles that he knows, he’s just looking for the right timing
which, unfortunately, does not seem to come
you spend what feels like the next two hours being whisked around, feigning polite interest as you are forced to engage in dull and bland conversations with numerous men of differing royal statuses, all of whom are no doubt trying to make an impression on you in hopes of becoming a potential suitor in the future
not that you have eyes for anyone apart from the one who already has your heart
the very same person who is currently fed up with watching you converse and let your hands be kissed by men who are not him
even if he knows you are pretending, he thinks that you sure are damn good at giggling at all the right times
you are trying not to let your smile turn into a grimace as the older-aged man, lord ryu you think, boasts of his wealth to you, when wooyoung enters your peripheral vision
“princess, lord ryu,” he greets you both, before looking down at the latter, “pardon me as i take the princess for a dance”
lord ryu, visibly irked but unable to say anything to the prince of significantly higher status, lets go of your hand to step back into a bow, “of course, prince wooyoung”
you giggle, this time genuinely, as wooyoung takes your hand to gently lead you towards the center of the ballroom, where several others are starting to waltz to the soft music that is now playing
you rest a hand just below his shoulder, feeling the sturdiness of his muscles flexing beneath his shirt, as he places his other hand to settle on the dip of your waist
a little possessively, you might add
“you look beautiful today,” he murmurs lowly, away from any prying ears
“only today?” you quirk an eyebrow teasingly
his voice drops down an octave, “well it’s not every day that i can tell you, princess”
wooyoung’s eyes flicker down hungrily to look at your lips
you run your tongue slowly over your bottom lip, knowing it will drive him absolutely crazy that he cannot just take you right there and then in front of everybody
and you can see the moment his resolve snaps
“meet me for some fresh air in ten,” bringing his lips as close to the shell of your ear as he dares
and then he’s gone
you become progressively antsy as you wait out a generous amount of time after he leaves for you to also slip away from the ballroom
wooyoung pins you against a pillar as soon as you emerge in the garden, aching to kiss you and fight for dominance until you’re both breathless and light-headed
“you don’t know how desperately i wanted to kiss you in front of everyone - let the whole world know that you’re mine,” he nips at your bottom lip
you rest your hands on his chest, fingers curled around the pleated front of his satin shirt to hold yourself steady as he turns your lips into an artwork of swollen cherry reds
he tilts your head back a little more, your mouths moving in tandem, soft moans drawn out of you, when-
“what in god’s name is going on?”
you and wooyoung startle apart at the shriek
the blush dusting your faces pale almost immediately at the sight of not just your mother, but also queen jung and a few of the royal staff
it’s kind of amusing that of all things for the two queens to have the same mindset about, it is the discovery of you and wooyoung’s secret relationship that unites them, both sharing twin expressions of horror and revulsion
you’re ripped from each other’s arms as you are forced back into the confines of your bed chamber, royal ball long forgotten
your only solace is learned later that night, when jihye brings a trolley of food you have no appetite for, that the jung family have not yet returned to their kingdom
they are still in your palace somewhere
yet that does little to soothe your tears, overwhelmed by the drastic turn of events, and you do not know when you fall asleep that night
all you know is that it is to a bed too cold and a longing in your heart too gaping to ignore
“princess,” you look up to see jihye standing at your door the next morning, almost apologetic, “the king and queen request for your presence in the throne room”
as you approach the room after tidying your appearance, your breath hitches when you spot him just by the double doors
you barrel forwards into his waiting arms, uncaring of the staff following behind you
not that they have the heart to stop you either way
“i thought you would have been forced to leave,” you blurt, unable to believe that wooyoung is right in front of you
“i’m still here,” he chuckles. “i have been summoned by your parents”
your heart drops down to your stomach at his words as you realise what this meeting is about
“and i am glad they did, princess,” wooyoung is quick to interject before your apology makes it past the tip of your tongue. “i am going to ask for your hand in marriage. officially”
“what if they banish us from ever seeing each other again?” worry overwhelms you as your breathing quickens
wooyoung gently laces his fingers through yours, bringing up his other hand to cup your face and run his thumb comfortingly over the curve of your cheekbone to keep you grounded
“no matter what happens today, no matter what the outcome is,” he looks at you with the fierce determination of a man ready to give up anything and everything for your sake, “i will never ever stop fighting for you”
he presses his soft lips against yours
“for us,” he vows
your breathing evens out, and while your heartbeat still pounds inside your ribcage, you know that it marches in rhythm with the man in front of you
this time, not afraid to appear in front of the rulers of your kingdoms - your parents - you and wooyoung nod in reassurance at each other once more, hand in hand, before you both push the doors to the throne room open
together.
jongho
pov: you're under his protection as your royal guard
over the din of volunteered names in the meeting room, jongho steps forward
“your majesty, i will accompany the princess,” he declares
“choi jongho?” your father scans him up and down with regard before nodding in approval, “it is decided then”
“him? surely i need another person with me as well?” you protest
your father quirks an eyebrow at you, a subtle reminder that whilst he is your father, he is also the king
“no, you will need to travel in disguise and stay as discreet as possible. only jongho will accompany you as your royal guard”
your father looks away and starts to address the next item on the meeting agenda; it is quite clear there is no room for argument
meanwhile, jongho sidles up to you
“you trying to catch bugs or something? close your mouth, princess,” he teases under his breath
you nudge him with an elbow, “you’re the only bug i see around here”
he rolls his eyes but you both snicker in unison when one of your older sisters turns around to shush you with a dirty look
regardless, you stay silent for the rest of the meeting
you’re not sure why jongho stepped forward to take on this task
because for someone who is your main royal guard and is supposed to be loyal and obedient, he sure makes it clear that his job is about as gratifying as babysitting
(“you can’t talk to me like that. i’m the princess”)
(“no, you’re not. you’re an idiot”)
in fact, when you had been notified a few days prior that you would be traveling with one other royal guard - who had yet to be decided at the time - jongho had spent every single day gloating that he would finally get a break from babysitting you
and yet here he is
with the opportunity to hand you off to somebody else
but instead, baring his teeth at the other guards who offer themselves up for this scouting mission
he would never admit to it either, but jongho personally spoke to the king years ago about being rostered on as your main bodyguard since he’s “known the princess for the longest and so i can protect her the best”
you don’t want to travel to the border
you’re in charge of maintaining security and defense along your borders and with neighbouring kingdoms, usually dealing with complications remotely through the ministers and advisors who work for you
this time though, there has been recent unrest near the southern borders of your kingdom near denport, a city notorious for bandits and fugitives
the situation has worsened with increased risk of bloodshed, thus has the need for you to survey the borders in person
and as the youngest sibling of five, the king has made it very clear that this is your opportunity to prove your capabilities
jongho makes sure to remind you of this fact when you grumble your way through packing a satchel of essential items to take with you
(“your fluffy slippers are not essential, princess”)
(you listen and throw them back onto the floor of your bedchambers, but stuff in a few paperweights when he isn’t looking out of petty revenge because you know he’ll end up carrying your bag for you later when you ask him to)
it’s a relatively long journey to denport, so as soon as you are ready, jongho having long finished packing his own bag, you leave your kingdom with him at your side
by the time the sun is starting to set later that day, you’re passing through a small town
he suggests calling it a night and recuperating at one of the inns
you wait while he inquires about available rooms and then follow him through a small alleyway to the inn that he has chosen for the night
you take all but one look at the rotting wood and creaking sign at the entrance before you are crossing your arms like a petulant child
“there’s no way i’m staying the night in this sorry excuse of an inn”
he merely blinks
“you’re technically not the princess right now so you better listen to me or god help me, i’ll-”
“you’ll what,” you challenge, nose-to-nose
or nose-to-throat, you suppose
but before you can dwell any further on your height difference, jongho picks you up, slings you over his shoulder like you are nothing more than a sack of potatoes, and walks into the inn without a care in the world that you are screaming bloody murder
you resign to your fate and flop uselessly against his back as he carries you up the stairs
instead, when he throws you onto the bed upon entering the room, you look up at him sultrily and smirk, “ooh, now i’m turned on”
jongho shakes his head with exasperation but you don’t miss the redness that is creeping up the back of his neck as he turns around to close the door shut
“wait,” you sit up on the bed, “we’re sharing a room?”
“it’s safer. i’ll sleep on the sofa”
you scrunch your nose at the arrangement, but you do admittedly feel a little more at ease in the unfamiliar room of the inn
you start to take a shoe off before a thought flits through your mind and you point the shoe in your hand at him like a weapon, “you better not snore”
jongho rolls his eyes as he steps forward to take the shoe out of your hand, and then he is bending down to help slip off the shoe from your other foot
a thank you lies on the tip of your tongue
“you’re the only snorer in this room, princess”
nevermind.
it’s gone.
you’re settled in bed, waiting for jongho to finish washing up and turn off the lights, when you spot it
holy shit
your immediate reaction is to seek his protection
“jongho!”
the door to the bathroom swings open almost immediately as he rushes out, eyes alarmed, alert, and zeroing onto you
water drips off the ends of his hair and you can still spot suds on his exposed torso
“what’s wrong? are you okay? are you hurt?” his voice is laced with restrained panic
you point to the corner of the room and then he sees it too
his body stiffens completely
because, mere metres from the two of you, presence sinister and dangerous…
is a fucking spider
all is quiet and still for a while, your eyes flickering back and forth between your royal guard and the spider in a tense standoff
then, just as you are about to speak up, jongho grabs his bag and swiftly turns on his heels to head towards the room’s door
“where are you going?!” you shriek
he looks at you forlornly from over his shoulder, “to prepare for my execution”
“what the fuck are you on about, jongho?”
“for abandoning my duties and failing to protect you. farewell, princess. you are on your own from here-”
his sentence is cut short as the spider scuttles towards him
and that is how you two, disguised, but still a royal princess and royal guard no less, are given an eviction warning because he streaked through the corridors of the inn half naked and screaming at the top of his lungs
needless to say, the innkeeper ends up having to remove the spider for the two of you
“you’re so embarrassing,” you whisper to him once you two are finally settled in bed and on the sofa
“no, i’m jongho,” he cackles
you don’t humour him with a response, but you know he snickers himself to sleep that night
you can’t help but let the corner of your lips tug up as well
a few days later after leaving the town, you two are resting side by side against a tree trunk when you decide to grace jongho with the opportunity to redeem himself
he’s currently halving a sandwich so you two can share
“if i were trapped in a forest full of spiders and you were the only person who could save me,” you ask gravely, “what would you do?”
without missing a beat, he replies, “prepare to grieve your death and make sure your pet cat is well fed in your honour”
he passes you the bigger sandwich as you turn to look at him with the most scandalised expression
“can you at least pretend to think for a bit?” you grumble
there’s a hint of a smile on jongho’s face when he apologises, “okay, sorry. ask me again”
you hit him with a different scenario this time
“if you had to fight a giant spider who had taken me hostage, what would you do?”
he hums thoughtfully for a few seconds, unscrewing a canteen of water for you and placing it by your side
“i would say, she is all yours, your spidery majesty, and then i would bow and walk away”
“fuck you,” you shove him good-naturedly with your shoulder
he swipes the canteen before you can knock it over and presses it into your smaller hand instead, giving it a quick pat as he dismisses your insult, “sure, if you think you can handle my dick”
“like they say,” you waggle your eyebrows at him as your voice drops down lower, “practice makes perfect”
jongho’s stoic facade finally cracks when you lean in closer and he hurries to stand up and put some distance between you and him
he shifts his legs subtly, clearing his throat to say, “we should go, denport is close”
when you’ve finished off the last of your sandwich, you dust off your fingers and grab jongho’s offered hand to stand up too
“let’s go”
one thing you have both noticed is that the closer you get to the border between your kingdom and denport, the quieter and thicker the atmosphere seems to get
the small towns you pass through have less people roaming around; in fact, most people seem to flee back into the refuge of their own houses, locking their doors and closing their windows when they catch sight of your pair
and then it happens
your plan goes awry
you and jongho are harshly awoken by a commotion outside the small room you have rented for the night
there’s a sickening smell accompanied by wails of grief in the air
when you rush outside, all you can see is a huge crowd of people gathered and your ears strain to pick up on the broken hushes of information being thrown around
“his son is lucky to have been spared”
“lucky to have seen his father slaughtered by bandits?”
“i heard it wasn’t money that they were after, though”
“those damned denport devils are up to something”
that’s all you pick up on before jongho snatches your arm and leads you back into the inn, telling you that it’s too dangerous to be out there; too dangerous for you two to continue traveling
which leads to the very first argument you ever have with him
you two butt heads all the time with your own fiery fronts and hardheadedness but more often than not, he yields to you
you’re facing him in the dim room - it is shadier than that first inn you two made a stop at weeks ago, but you’re both sharing one room just like you two have done at every single inn since
“we need to go check it out!” you shout at him
jongho takes a shaky breath as he tries to keep his voice even, “no, we should go back to our kingdom, report on the situation and call for backup!”
you throw your hands up into the air, “we’re already here - we’re basically at denport! what if something blows up soon? it might be too late by the time we go back”
jongho steps in closer as his eyes narrow
you don’t cower because you know he would never hurt you, but you do step backwards because you don’t think you can keep a clear head when he is standing so close to you, proximity dizzying like the buzz of alcohol
“of all times for you to play hero and do something that you weren’t asked to, why now? why put yourself in danger?”
your back hits the wall as jongho corners you
your chest heaves, as does his, both of you overwhelmed with emotions
he holds your gaze but his eyes are rounded with agony and distress
you don’t understand why he is so against your decision
you don’t know what to say, until your eyes flicker down involuntarily at the movement of his lips parting to exhale-
“damn, jongho, your lips are real chapped. you should use some of my lip balm”
he blinks hard at the absurdity of what you chose to say
he looks at your lips
he makes a decision
“then give me some of yours,” he says, a little breathless
and then he’s pressing his chapped lips against your smooth ones, the taste of coconut filling your mouth as your lip balm smears
suddenly, he pulls back with the audacity to look shocked as if you are the one who kissed him
and then he leaves the room without another word
he doesn’t return that night and you don’t manage to sleep either
you wonder when you started becoming used to falling asleep with him in the same room
jongho clears his throat awkwardly when you open the door in the morning and find him leaning against the wall just by the doorframe
you’re not sure whether he came back not too long ago from god knows where, or whether he was actually standing guard outside all night
you think you know which one it is, even if he doesn’t confirm it
“we’re checking out,” he mumbles, shuffling briskly into the room to grab his few belongings he had left and exiting the room again with you trailing behind
neither of you say much more to each other
you think that he’s going to lead you back the way you two came, lead you back and undo the weeks’ worth of journeying and go back to the castle
but then he’s sighing, deep and burdened, and he gently takes your hand to continue on towards denport
he’s never held your hand before
not like this, at least, tenderly tugging you along with every step so that you are no more than a few inches away from his side
you want to bicker with him and chortle together like usual but you keep quiet, giving him the space that he appears to need even if he is physically ensuring you are tucked right into his side
you two walk until the sun has dipped below the horizon
from what you know, you are right along the southern border and denport will only be another half day’s walk away
jongho makes a small bonfire before he joins you to lean against a fallen log
he shimmies off his coat and drapes it over your legs and then the forest also settles into silence along with you both
it’s now or never
“why are you so against us going to the border?” you ask him
he runs his fingers through his hair
an unruly tuft of hair stays upright and you fold your arms to stop yourself from reaching out and smoothening it for him
he looks at you as he says, “i’m fine with me going to the border, it’s you i’m not fine with. you do remember that i’m your royal guard, right”
“is that all there is to your reason,” you push, “that you’re my guard?”
you both know you’re referring to more than just the argument itself
jongho’s gaze breaks away, looking ahead at the flames of the fire instead
he is silent
for once, jongho is unarmed; no immediate snark or teasing remark to toss back at you
you hear him swallow and take a breath
“i…i don’t know,” he starts. “all i know is that with each passing day, the more i want to keep you safe”
jongho looks at you again, eyebrows drawn down ever so slightly
“why do you make me feel so worried?”
at his words, your heart clenches in an unfamiliar way and you attempt to lighten the mood, “maybe you like me”
“maybe i do”
oh.
with the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes, it almost looks as though he is about to cry
“please, don’t go to the border, princess,” he begs softly
his plea remains unwavering and you find your heart doing the exact opposite
after a few seconds of silence, you say
“okay, jongho. i won’t”
the tension from his shoulders seeps out and he gently tugs you towards him so he can tuck you into his side once again
“you promise that we turn around and go back tomorrow morning?”
you nod against the warmth of the crook of his neck, then murmur, “do you think father will be disappointed in me? for returning?”
he rubs a hand up and down your arm soothingly
“of course not, princess. you’ve already done so much more than you needed to. he’ll be proud of you”
and then he adds on, “just like i’m proud of you”
this is the first time anyone has ever really validated your efforts; being the youngest of a large family means you are often overshadowed
caught off guard, all you can do is whisper out, “thank you, jongho”
he hums and you feel his smile against the crown of your head
you’ve never been drunk before, but you think that this is the closest you have ever gotten
you are intoxicated by him
“if you’re thankful,” the rumble of jongho’s voice against your cheek is pleasant, “can i ask for something?”
“whatever you want”
he eases you from the comfort of his neck and tilts your chin up slightly with a finger, cheeky grin plastered across his face
“can i have some more of your lip balm?”
#loren writes#ateez fics#ateez smut#ateez x reader#san x reader#san smut#san scenarios#mingi x reader#mingi scenarios#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung scenarios#jongho x reader#jongho scenarios#ateez ot8 x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez crack#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez au#royal ateez#prince ateez#prince!ateez
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Security Details: Chapter 1 [frankie morales]
Frankie’s long-time friend enlists his help. He's more than eager to accept the job.
The problem is that he's in love with her.
chapter 1 | chapter 2
pairing: francisco "catfish" morales x f!reader
rating: 18+ (mdni)
tags and warnings for entire fic: abusive relationship (not between frankie and reader), murder, violence, BAMF frankie, protective frankie, possessive frankie, soft frankie, mutual pining, yearning, reader is not named but has a call sign (fox), frankie is dumb but he's got the spirit, angst, smut, fluff, partners to friends to lovers, happy ending, frankie spends most of this fic in his feelings, telltale signs of a fic written by a hopeless romantic, unprotected piv, breeding kink, creampie, oral sex, consensual somnophilia, english and spanish dirty talk, frankie going feral to keep his girl safe, possessive sex, blood and injury, undefined age gap
tags and warnings for this chapter: extremely/viscerally/unfathomably dumb frankie, mutual pining, so much yearning that my cup runneth over, foot-in-mouth syndrome, angst, abuse against reader, unrequited love
word count: ~ 10k
shrike is actually my all-time favourite hozier song and was the inspiration for this fic long ago. i still have a huge soft spot for this story; it is the ache of pining and the drive to be good enough for that one person you know will make everything better.
chapter 1: i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted
Tomorrow is fight night for Benny, which means he’s taken to beating the shit out of his friends as a warm-up.
Frankie lifts his elbows in front of his face to block the next blow before taking a swing at Benny’s exposed stomach. The fighter ducks out of the way and lands his next punch—right to Frankie’s jaw. It’s enough of a hit to sting and throb, knocking his teeth around a little, and Benny immediately loses his gloves and claps Frankie on the shoulders.
“Shit. Shit, Cat, I’m sorry. You good?”
Frankie doesn’t feel any blood welling from his lip, so he considers it a draw. Still, he shakes out his knuckles, preparing for another round. “I’m good. Are you good?” He grins at Benny. “‘Cause I almost had you tapping.”
From outside the ring, Will whoops. “That’s right, Fish. Take his ass down.”
“Nah,” says Benny, sliding onto the floor off the ring and reaching for a towel. “Don’t feel like killing Frankie today.”
“Jackass,” says Frankie, joining the brothers on the floor. “Could’ve won.”
He and Benny slap their palms together, and the three of them silently agree to end Benny’s destructive training for the day. Frankie suspects his face will bruise by dinner tonight.
Will lies down on a bench and looks up at Frankie. “Where's Foxy? I know she could take Benny down.”
Frankie tries not to sound bitter when he grumbles, “Date night,” but fails. Benny and Will lock eyes, and the latter whistles, imitating an explosion with his mouth.
Frankie drops down to the floor, back up against the ring with his knees bent. “She knows her boyfriend’s a piece of shit, right?” asks Benny.
Frankie doesn’t want to talk about this, especially not when his friends know he’s the pathetic asshole who was too afraid to ask her out before someone else cut in. A someone else who has her showing up at the bar on their nights out with red eyes and strained smiles. The someone else who, despite being a well-rounded dickhead with control issues, still managed to get the girl.
He’s been with her through her boyfriends, just as she’s been through his singular attempt (and failure) at settling down. He hasn’t liked a single one of her partners, not even when they seemed to get along with Benny or Will or Pope or—in rare cases—all three. Frankie knows it’s because he can’t stand that every single time she introduces them to someone new, it means another guy who’s braver than he is. Another guy who beat him to the punch. Another few months wasted as his best friend stands within arm’s reach and remains altogether untouchable.
“She’s coming tonight, right?” asks Will.
“She is if it’s date night,” mumbles Benny, but Frankie hears him and bristles.
“Fuck off.”
“Kidding,” he says, lifting his hands in the air. “She probably doesn’t come, anyway. Not with that douchebag.”
“Fuck. Off.”
He has no right to say who she sleeps with, dates, or spends her time around. He has no more claim to her than he does to the throne of England. But shit, he can’t stand the thought of another man’s hands on her body. His hands tremble as he wipes them on his jeans and stands up. “See you dickheads tonight,” he says. “And stop talking about Fox’s sex life, or I’ll bury both your heads in sand.”
He slips his gym bag into the backseat of his truck when it begins to vibrate. He fumbles for his cell phone and looks at her profile picture, blown up large on his screen: a big smile on her face, her eyes glittering with mischief, as Pope’s pie-covered mouth kisses her on the cheek. He gives the camera a thumbs-up. Frankie had taken the picture.
Pope walked into the bar with Will and promptly received a meringue to the face.
“Happy birthday, Santiago!” she whooped, toasting her Cosmopolitan in the air. She loved fruity drinks on special occasions, and had managed to convince Ben and Frankie to order a Shirley Temple and Sex on the Beach, respectively.
“Come here, Foxy,” shouted Pope over the chaos of the bar.
Pope kissed her, sloppy and loudly, on the cheek. Frankie snapped a picture. Later, he would assign it to her contact on his phone.
He wanted to tell her she was beautiful that night, glowing and cheerful in her tight black dress. She was practically on his lap in the booth thanks to the big bodies of Ben and Will sandwiching her between them, spreading their legs. He suspected it was deliberate. Frankie kept his arm secured around her waist all night, never quite touching the soft skin at her back with his fingers. He was hard enough as it was.
“This okay?” she asked him, tentative and pleasantly flushed from her three drinks of the night.
It was loud as hell in the bar, but he could only hear the wash of her voice down his spine. “Yeah, Foxy. Don't worry about me.”
She tugged on a lock of his hair beneath his cap, now long enough to curl at his neck. “That's my job.”
I'm so in love with you.
He never told her. But he went home that night and fucked his hand twice in the shower. The week after, she introduced him to her latest boyfriend.
Frankie answers his phone. “Go for Frankie, Foxy.”
“Hey!” Her honeyed voice is a tonic. “I’m sorry I couldn't watch Benny beat you guys up, but I was out getting groceries for Matt.”
Frankie can't help it. It rears up from inside like a fire-breather. “Matt can't get his own groceries?”
His name leaves her mouth like a tired warning. “Frank…”
He feels like an asshole right away, slinging another arrow at her deadbeat boyfriend and making her upset, but Matt Erickson may truly be Frankie Morales’s archenemy. Not to put too dramatic a point on it.
The worst day of Frankie’s life was when she took that first bullet for him.
She's a good sniper. Damn good. She still smiles like she's never seen a battlefield. She treats it like a job where it counts, and sometimes he catches her kissing the ring on her index finger: silver, a gift from her father. He was killed in battle, and was the reason she joined. And she became deadly as she was sweet, gentle, a good dancer.
She can really dance.
She caught the sniper on the ridge faster than Frankie could register his body dropping just behind him. He whipped around to watch his skull hit the ground, his blood colouring the deadened earth. Frankie lifted a hand to the back of his head absentmindedly. He was untouched, unharmed.
“Shit, Morales,” she said breathlessly, approaching him after she scanned the horizon for more surprises and hopped down from her cover of cliffs. “Almost let him shoot you.”
He shook his head, mildly speechless, and checked her over for injuries. He tugged on her tactical vest the way he always does. She squeezed his arm. “That makes eighty confirmed. You gonna buy me a drink?”
He swallowed. “I’m going to buy every one of your drinks for the rest of your life.”
She grinned up at him.
He remembers the wind whipping her hair about her face, the glimmer in her eye. He doesn’t remember where the shot came from. He only remembers seeing her face fall and her eyes slide over his shoulder. He remembers her shifting them around, diving like a swan to block his body from something.
He heard the crack of the shot, then another as Will took him out with a shout. And he saw the blood blossoming at her hip. She reached out and steadied herself on his shoulder. “Oh, shit,” she gasped. “Oh, fuck, Frank. I wasn’t looking. That was really stupid. Wasn’t… Didn’t see…”
He still feels the panic when he recalls that day.
He slipped his rifle around to his front and scanned the cliffs through the scope, but Will’s cry of “CLEAR!” echoed through the valley. Frankie dropped to his knees in front of her and lifted up her shirt to bear her midriff to him. She clutched the straps of his vest to keep herself upright.
“How’s it look?” she managed to ask, trying to keep her breathing steady and her eyes open. She was handling it beautifully.
“It’s nothing,” he said, though the choked sound of it betrayed him. “Just a scratch.”
It wasn’t. The shot went clean through her hip and was bleeding badly enough to blanch her face. She was turning grey, her body trembling. “Thought so,” she said. “Frankie…”
She didn’t finish. Her eyes fluttered and her foot faltered. He gripped her good hip hard and squeezed. He needed to keep her talking.
“Why did you do that?” he said frantically, watching periodically for Will and Benny as they made their way around the ridge down to the valley. Frankie opened his medkit, but there wouldn’t be much in here that could do her good. He shucked off his extra layer—a thick down jacket that protected him from the wind up here—and pressed it to her wound. “That was stupid, Foxy. Real fucking stupid.”
“Oh, shut up,” she wheezed. “Saved your life, Cat. Don’t be an asshole.”
“Need you to hold onto me,” he said. “I’m going to sit you down, but you need to hold on. It’s going to hurt.”
She panted through her teeth as Frankie lowered her to the ground, sitting upright against a rock. He kneeled over her legs and continued to put pressure on her wound. She blinked hard from the pinching pressure. “Part of the job, right?”
“Shouldn’t be. Not you. Not fuckin’ you.” He kept the pressure, hard and steady, on her wound, but the sight of blood—her blood, the only blood that could send him into a panic—nauseated him.
She laughed, but it sounded nothing like her laugh. Her laugh was bells at noon, the sun high in the sky. This was hollow as a dead tree. “Thought this was an equal-opportunity workplace.”
She can weave stories and poetry from the smoky tendrils of death. By the embers of the fire, when they were the only two left awake, she would give him offerings.
One night, she had lain beside him, and they stared up at the stars between the wispy clouds. Frankie had to let their co-pilot Mickey go that day. He’d been a lost cause, unable to release the seat belt as their helicopter went up in flames. They ran for cover, and all Frankie could think was, You could have done more.
“When people die,” she had told him, “maybe their souls leave them for a reason. Maybe they have to leave because they need to bury themselves in the living. I think you’re keeping his soul safe, Frankie.”
It was the most profound piece of wisdom he’d ever heard, from her sleep-addled voice, next to him as they lay next to one another, barely touching, only watching the sky. It was only days after the team saw her signed on, and Frankie was already in love.
“Frank… Frankie… ” Her blood made things slippery and got on both of their hands. There was a small red heart on her hip when two droplets of blood joined together.
Funny.
“Frankie…” Her eyes begged him. She scrambled to keep holding onto his hand. “Don’t let me die. I really don’t want to die.”
It was so rare, like seeing the bright burning core of a comet. Watching her crumble, desperate, sand between his fingers. She was dying, and they both knew it.
Still, he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t do it the way he’d done with Mickey (“I’m sorry, I can’t get you out, we have to go”). “You’re not gonna die,” he told her, gritting his teeth and keeping pressure, keeping an eye on the pulse point at her sweat- and blood-slick throat. “Not gonna let you fuckin’ die, Foxy. Still need to give us that wisdom of yours, right?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice slurring as her eyes slipped shut for a moment. Only a moment, and the earth beneath Frankie’s feet shifted. But she blinked them back open. “You’re all idiots, and I need to be there to save your asses.”
“That’s right, baby,” he said softly, weakly.
Neither of them would mention the nickname after that—the first time he’d addressed her by anything but her name or call sign. In that moment, he existed to bring her comfort. He existed to keep her alive. Breathing, for all he cared, didn’t matter one bit.
“Where do you think we go when we die?” asked Frankie one day, stuck on a rooftop adjacent to hers, just the two of them tracking a target through their scopes. An elusive target. They’d been here four hours, bruising their hip bones on concrete and baking in the Colombian sun.
“Oh, Francisco,” crackled her voice in his ear. The sound of his name on her lips always struck his bones like hammers upon rocks. “We don’t die. Not you and me. We just float down the river and crawl out on the other end.”
“I like your wisdom,” he said. The air was hot and stiff, his forehead beading with sweat. “But that sounds awful wet.”
“Bet you could use a drink right now.”
“Damn right I could.”
“Whoever makes the shot buys the round,” she offered.
His heart soared with a hope he’d not yet learned to squash. “Just you and me?”
“That’s the only way to go, Frankie,” she said.
He found a beacon in her. Her heart was—is—a miraculous thing. It beats louder than everything else, hums like a soft melody, and casts its net across the reaches of the world. Her eyes find things nobody else’s can. Her smile reanimates dead things. She became a goddess to him. He wanted to hold that heart in his palms to see how brightly it glowed. He wanted to be the one with the privilege to keep it safe in his hands.
She didn’t die that day. Frankie lay into the evac team for taking so damn long and refused to leave her side even when they insisted there was no room left on the chopper. He didn’t give a fuck, not when her hand kept grasping his in a desperate, half-alive attempt to keep him close. He became a rabid animal, snarling at anyone who came too close or pushed too hard on her wounds or tried to separate them.
In her hospital bed back at their temporary base (this was a shitty covert job in Alberta, so the infirmary was more of a tent filled with stretchers than a state-of-the-art facility), she laughed at his latest joke.
“What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?”
“Frank, I’m in so much pain—”
“You think it would be R, but it be the C they love.”
“Oh, God,” she whispered, her hand covering her mouth. It was quiet in the tent, filled with sleeping and recovering bodies. “Can’t believe I saved your stupid ass. Must be all that love I’ve got.”
He froze. Love. She said love.
She said love, and yet there was a man waiting in her bed when she returned home with a new tale of glory to tell. A man who could never understand the things Frankie did, the things they spoke about under the stars when everyone else slept. She was off-limits. Untouchable. He wanted her more than anything in the world, and he could not have her. Because he could not say love.
“I’ll let you rest.”
He slipped his hand from hers and flexed it all the way back to his tent. It felt cold without her there. He just left her, alone and afraid to fall asleep. Afraid to close her eyes and never wake. He was the real coward.
“Did Matt get you to your appointment yesterday?” asks Frankie, trying for civility. “How did it go?”
She's been in physiotherapy since a bad fall shattered her ankle a few months ago. It's been making her antsy, off the field and stuck at home. “I walked,” she says idly, breezily, like she's trying to rush through it and move on. And she does. “We still on for tonight?”
He freezes.
“You what?”
“I walked,” she repeats.
“You walked.”
Her voice is vaguely amused. “That is what I said, Cat.”
Frankie makes a decision. The next time he sees Matt Erickson, he’s going to punch him in the face. Frankie doesn't like confrontation, but he'll go one-to-a thousand against a Viking army if it means she's happy and safe. Walking half an hour to a physiotherapy appointment with a bum ankle is not happy and safe.
“Frankie, I can hear your ears steaming,” comes her gentle voice in his ear. “I was fine. I didn't trip and the pain wasn't bad.”
“That's not the—” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “That's not the point. He was supposed to take you.”
He can't deny he's happy to hear a touch of bitterness when she says, “He got called into work.”
“Could've called me,” says Frankie, even though it's too late. “I would've taken you.”
“I’m okay,” she coos, patient as ever with him and his sour moods. “I promise you, Frank, I'm fine.”
He drops it for now. But if he sees her limping tonight, he's going to throw her asshole boyfriend into a Dumpster. “How's María?” she asks him.
He huffs out his laughter as he gets into the driver’s seat. His back protests with a pinch of pain. “Misses you like hell. Asked me on Sunday if you can babysit this weekend.”
“Did she ask that, or her daddy?” she says slyly. Frankie closes his eyes and briefly knocks his forehead into the steering wheel, all because she can't see him. The way she speaks is clear and gentle; intelligent. His cock seems to like the sound of daddy passing her lips.
“We collaborated,” he says sheepishly. She makes him so nervous.
“Mmm.” There's sounds of rustling, and he can picture her moving about the kitchen, smiling as she wedges the phone between her ear and shoulder and unpacks her groceries. “Well, I’m available Saturday night if you want to go out, have some fun. You know I’m always happy to spend some time with my favourite girl.”
Frankie has no plans for Saturday, and he isn't particularly keen on making any. He’ll make a last-minute excuse to stay in with his two favourite girls on the planet and he’ll go another night wanting her but refraining from stepping any closer than he should. “Yeah. I’ll think of something,” he says.
“Oh! And I picked up some more baby food since you're running low. I know she's almost eleven months, but she goes through that stuff like a vacuum cleaner.” Frankie’s heart is close to bursting. She treats his daughter like her own most days and thinks of things neither he nor Lisa do half the time. Frankie’s pretty sure Lisa is in love with her, too. She has that effect on people.
“Thanks, Fox,” he chokes out.
“And if your plans miraculously fall through,” she says playfully, “remind me to give you a haircut. Otherwise, I’ll be teaching María how to braid it.”
Self-consciously, he takes off his cap and ruffles his own hair. It is getting long again, curling around his ears and sticking up wildly when it’s humid, which is most days down here. “Yes, ma’am.”
Like everything else in her life, she treats Frankie’s haircuts with the utmost care and attention. She handles scissors as though they’re needles she must perfectly thread. Her haircuts are serviceable, and she asks for nothing in return except her next drink at the bar (he buys her drinks when they’re out together, anyway), but it’s the process he likes most.
“Ow.”
“Don’t be a dummy, Cat. I’m not hurting you.”
Her hands lathered the shampoo in his hair, her long nails (a treat for herself during her temporary leave thanks to a certain gunshot wound) digging deliciously into his scalp, reaching the roots of his head and into his brain and turning him wholly pliable beneath her touch. “No,” he mumbled. “Just keeping you on your toes, Foxy.”
It was an awkward job: sitting up against the bathtub with his head dangling uncomfortably under the detachable shower head while she washed his hair, sidled up next to him on her knees. He kept his eyes closed because if he opened them, his eyes would be level with her tits. She wore an old, ratty sweatshirt from his closet so she didn’t have to worry about getting hair all over her, but his imagination was a real son of a bitch. It liked to run wild with pictures of her body beneath all that fabric, soft and sweet. He would have wet dreams about her if she wore a paper bag every day.
“Lift your head for me, Frankie,” she said softly, cradling the back of his neck to support it as she washed the shampoo from his scalp. When they were finished, he shook out his hair like a wet dog and splattered her with water. “Frankie!”
Her shrieks alerted María, so she picked up the then-four-month-old and bounced her on her hip while the other hand gently blow-dried Frankie’s hair. “Okay, gorgeous,” she said, switching off the dryer.
“You talking to me or my kid?”
“You decide.” She kissed María on the top of her head, which was covered in the same dark brown curls as her father’s. “Let’s go cut daddy’s hair, hmm?”
Frankie tangled himself in each thick thread of yearning that stretched between them as she ventured farther away, downstairs into the kitchen where she would cut his hair over the garbage can. She had done it a hundred times, he felt, but the longing remained. The ache to touch her on the cheek, the waist, draw her in closer and kiss the soul right out of her. He wanted to take it and swallow it and wrap himself in it, keeping her forever with him the way she said they did with each life they took. He wanted that. He wanted to hold her life in his palms and nurture it, let it unfold with his, the lines on their palms intertwining like twin comets’ paths through the sky.
Every day with her felt like that: chasing the sun, only to find out he was chasing a picture. He could never grasp it, never cradle it or sleep next to it or bury himself so deep in it he lost sense of himself altogether. He wanted so much of her that her essence choked him. It filled his lungs like gravel because he could never have her. So he yearned, and let himself die a little more each time she went home to someone else.
“Frankie?” she asked him that night, both of them watching María sleep in his arms as they lounged on the couch, the television muted.
He was drifting off, fighting sleep so he wouldn’t drop his baby girl. The sound of the voice next to him stirred him just enough, and he gained the sense she was about to impart a piece of wisdom he would carry forever.
“I think you’re going to live a long, happy life.” Her head was on the arm of the sofa, and her eyes were drooping, but not quite closed, looking at him through her lashes. They were like shadowy spiderwebs on her cheeks. “I think, of all the people I’ve met in my life, you’re the one who deserves it most. I want you to have it, so I’m telling you right now that you will.”
It occurred to him much later that she thought he was asleep.
~
The bar itself is a piece of shit in the middle of a highway, barely big enough to even qualify as a truck stop, and it’s called The High Dive. Sounds about right. Frankie gets there last (a routine phone call with his parole officer lasted longer than he would’ve hoped, but at least he’s through with his community service), and Fox is already in the middle of an argument with her boyfriend.
“Invited himself,” says Will, interrupting Frankie’s train of thought before he can even make a stop at a coherent one. The Miller brother has a beer tucked into the crook of his elbow as his arms sit folded over his chest. “Doesn’t seem to trust you very much, Morales.”
“Hmm. Can’t imagine why.” Frankie is hardly listening. His eyes are laser-focused on the movements of Matt Erickson’s flailing arms as he yells at his girlfriend. Frankie’s hackles are up and his vision is beginning to bleed.
“He wouldn’t, Fish,” says Will, nudging him with an elbow. “He wouldn’t take a swing, not here.”
“I never—”
“Yeah, you’re thinkin’ it, man. We’re all fuckin’ thinking it.” Will gestures to their favourite booth in the corner of the bar where Benny, Santiago, and a couple locals they’ve befriended over the years are sitting. Benny and Pope sneak frequent looks across the bar to where the couple is still locked in a heated argument, standing too close in the shadowy hall that leads to the bathroom.
It’s not like Frankie has any evidence that Erickson has laid a hand on her. He knows the guy is volatile, angry at one wrong twitch of a finger. Frankie wouldn’t give a fuck if he decided to take a swing at him or his friends; it would give them all an excuse to deal a few blows in return, which he knows they’ve all been itching to do. No—he’s too close to her, his hands clenching into fists and jerking around as she flinches away from him until she’s backed into the wall, keeping her guard up and placing a hand on his chest to keep him at arm’s length. She’s speaking clearly and firmly, patient even as her boyfriend loses his shit. Frankie cannot hear a word, but he knows she’s in the right.
“Why the fuck is he here?” Frankie just manages to bite his words off.
“My guess?” Will shakes his head. “To keep an eye on you.”
“I’ll give him a fucking eyeful,” says Frankie, surging forward.
“Hey.” Will claps a hand down on his shoulder to stop him. “Come on. Leave them be. He’ll get pissed and leave.”
“I don’t like this, man.” She’s handling it, still, trying to bring Matt’s temper down to a simmer. Frankie can’t look away. His eyes are her shield; if he blinks or moves, it will drop, and Matt will act. He will hurt her. Frankie can’t let it happen.
The knot in his chest begins to loosen when she seems to strike a common ground with Matt. He breathes hard and backs away, nodding and muttering something. She smiles feebly, her shoulders rounded and her eyes dim with exhaustion, and he kisses her on the forehead.
Frankie lets Will guide him to the booth and slides in next to Pope. “Pendejo,” says Santiago. Frankie knows he isn’t speaking to him.
“Don’t get me fuckin’ started.” Pope slips a beer under Frankie’s nose. “Thanks, man.”
“Anyone ever tell her she’s way too hot for that asshole?” says John, a local Army-turned-trucker around the same age as Frankie, who doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth at that comment.
Erickson approaches them without her in tow. That makes Frankie’s internal alarm bells sound. “Hey,” he says, lifting his beer in greeting. “How's everyone holding up?”
There is an awkward sound-off of halfhearted replies from everyone at the table except for Frankie, who won't even indulge. He has tunnel-vision, and he needs to make sure she's all right.
His eyes meet Will’s, and the Miller discretely nods. “Hey, Erickson,” he says loudly. “Mind checking out my hood? My engine light came on halfway through the drive here and I don't want it to explode on the way home.”
Erickson agrees with mild enthusiasm (the prospect of getting paid for a tune-up provides most of his polite response) and follows Will outside. Frankie flees toward the bathroom and knocks on the door.
“Foxy.”
Come in is her soft reply.
The sound of the door unlocking is all Frankie needs to push his way inside and close them both inside. In here, the world pushes in on the two of them, and it feels like sitting in the bathroom together at his home, listening to her quiet humming as she washes his hair. “If he sees you in here, he's going to kill you,” she says. Her voice is utterly defeated. “I don't want to hear a lecture on how I need to leave him, Frank. I can't—” Her breath catches in her throat. “I can’t do this tonight.”
She finally faces him. He can tell that she's been crying, but he still counts to ten when he sees her puffy eyes and rounded shoulders. He's always been terrible at containing his impatience or rage compared to her, but she looks so beat-down and tired that all he can think to do is pull her into his arms.
“He can try,” says Frankie, smoothing down her hair and kissing the top of her head. Her hands find his back, warm and soft, her cheek resting on his chest. She sniffles quietly. Frankie’s entire body feels tight, sandpaper on a wall, catching on every groove of her body against him.
“I really want to kill him first,” he confesses.
She shakes her head. “Not going to jail, Francisco. Can’t survive on this Earth without you.”
His ears are ringing. He barely hears the doorknob jiggle, the knock at the door, the scuffle outside.
“She's in the fuckin’ bathroom, dude,” says Benny on the other side of the door. “Give her some privacy.”
“Oh, you mean her and Morales? You want me to give them privacy? Want me to let them fuck each other in there while I stay right here?”
“Maybe you should leave. You've had a bit too much to drink.” This comes from Pope. Reasonable, but tense.
“Open the fucking door, babe,” shouts Erickson. Frankie puts her behind him instinctively.
“Don't say a word,” she warns him. He bites down on his tongue. Her hand slips around to his arm and squeezes. She raises her voice so Matt can hear her. “I’m coming out, Matthew. We’re going home. Okay?”
Don’t, Frankie wants to say. Don't go home with him. Fuck, baby, come back and never let him touch you again. But she ordered him to stay quiet, and he can't refuse her. He can't do anything.
It always ends like this. He lets her go, and he freezes. He can never be brave where it counts.
She unlocks the door to face down her boyfriend, who's stone-faced and glaring at Frankie. He grabs her arm, tight enough to make her wince, and she shoves him hard in the chest. “Don't fucking touch me,” she says. “We. Are. Leaving.”
And they do. Frankie just lets her go, watching her until she's out of his sight and a bit further than that. He lets her go again.
The next night, Friday, is Benny’s fight. She’s limping when she walks into the locker room.
Frankie leaps to his feet despite the protest from his back. He’s in front of her, probably crowding her, but his head is in overdrive. “What happened? Shit, you're limping. Why the fuck are you limping? Did he fucking hurt you? I swear to God, juro por Dios, if he hurt you—”
“Francisco.” She's firm, jagged-edged, and it startles him into silence. She looks like she hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep in days, and her beautiful optimistic smile is nowhere to be seen. “He was angry with me for last night,” she tells him. Matter-of-fact and emotionless. “He grabbed my ankle and twisted it. I grabbed a bag and left while he was passed out. I slept in my car. It's the first time he's ever laid hands on me.”
Frankie staggers backward. “I—” He rubs his jaw and shakes his head. He’s furious. He's terrified. He's sad and disgusted. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
She hugs herself. “I’m a total idiot. I know I am. I know he's a piece of shit, Francisco. I know it, and then sometimes he would be so kind, so gentle, and I wouldn't know which way was up. I never thought he would—” She breaks off like the words stabbed her, snapping her mouth shut and bringing her hand to it, trembling with tears she refuses to let fall. “I feel so fucking stupid.”
She's the finest sniper on the team. She's a storm on the field and she's the one who speaks the soothing words to them all when they're hurt or tense or just want to fall asleep. She's the reason and the eyes. She's responsible for their lives every time they step foot on the ground, and she never lets a single one go.
He says her name. It’s quiet and weak and almost lost in the ambient noise of distant cheering and air conditioning. It's a name that invokes rain and thunder and sunshine—the kind of sunshine that parts those angry rolling clouds. It's a rare name because it feels sacred. It's the name he reserves when he's about to do something stupid.
“Don't say my name like that, Francisco.”
He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and grinned, cocksure and tipsy. He squares up with Pope at the table and the two lock hands in preparation for the arm wrestle. “You ready to eat shit, Morales?”
“Nah, pendejo. You're gonna buy a round after this.”
Whoops and jeers lifted from the crowd, but Frankie just turned to her and winked. She stood out with her tight-ass jeans and her wicked glare. Damn, Frankie wanted to impress her. It's probably the only reason he beat Pope.
“So,” he said after he took down both Will and Benny, too. “Believe me now?”
She rolled her eyes and placed her elbow on the table. “Fine, Cat. When I win, I’m getting a shopping spree.”
“Hope you like wearing the same thing every day,” he teased, locking his fingers around her hand. Around them, they cheered for the Fox.
Frankie lost. She got her shopping spree, and she showed off all the pretty dresses she bought with his money while he and María watched the makeshift fashion show. He didn't mind one bit.
Now, Frankie takes a step forward and places his hands on her arms, her skin soft and warm beneath his rough hands.
“I’m a fucking coward,” he tells her. “Every single time I've wanted to tell you, I’ve let you go.”
She frowns at her shoes and whispers his name. “I can't,” she says. “Please don't say it.”
What?
“I…” He grasps at the air for something to say and falters. “I don't understand. Help me understand.”
Another sob leaves her mouth when she meets his eye. “I’ve waited years for you, Francisco,” she says, the words toppling onto him. Demolitions. Smoke. “If you say it now, I won't be able to stop myself from saying it back.”
He's in fragments on the floor. The world shifts from one axis to the other, back and forth, teetering over the blackness of space. “Honey, please just let me—”
“Frankie. I mean it.” She takes a step back, gently brushing him off her. There's nothing malicious in the action, but it tugs Frankie’s heart along with it. She's holding it in her hands, the way he's always wanted to do with hers. “Right now, I feel like I’m about to fall apart, and I don't think I can have that conversation with you.” She swipes her thumb under her eyes.
“No.” It comes out strangled and pathetic, like regurgitating stones. “No. Don’t go. Fucking stay. I—shit, I need you to stay.”
He's being a selfish asshole. His foot is in his mouth. She's hurt and needs space and now he can't let her go. What is wrong with him?
He knows it was the wrong thing to say. Hurt floods her eyes. “I’ve been patient,” she says evenly. “But I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. You married Lisa, you had María, and I tried to move on. Maybe it isn't about what you need right now, Frank.”
He doesn't know why he gets angry, but he suspects he'll realise later that he's mad at himself. Which means he doesn't stop himself from digging deeper. “Are you serious? You've been fucking around with a hundred other guys because you wanted me? Tell me how that makes sense, honey, because it doesn't make a goddamn inch of sense to me.”
He regrets every word right away. Her face falls and her fingers touch her own throat like he threw a sucker-punch to it. Her entire body shrinks in on itself, and she looks like she does when Matt makes her feel small, worthless. But it wasn't Matt. Frankie did that. Frankie, who's supposed to be her friend. He wants to throw up. How could he ever think he could be good to her?
She swallows and gathers all her breath to make herself a bit taller. Frankie begins to shake his head, reaching for her. His stomach plummets when she flinches away. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I never should have said that. I didn't mean—”
“You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it, Frankie,” she says. Her voice is still collected, if a bit cooler, and it only makes him sink further into despair. “Don't take it back. I know you never liked any of them. That doesn't mean you get to talk to me like I’m just a whore when you were about to tell me you loved me.”
She's right. She's so right and he's so stupid. “Please.” He doesn't move for her, but he can't let her leave. He can't let them go their separate ways like this. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she says. “But that really hurt, Frankie. I’m exhausted, and my ankle is killing me, and Benny’s about to fight. I’m going to go find the others now. Okay?”
No . No, it's not okay. None of this is okay. “Don't…” He pulls at his collar. He's burning alive. “Don't leave it like this.”
There's a hollowness in her eyes. “You made that choice for me,” she says. “Just… do me a favour. Stay at Pope’s tonight.”
It's an unspoken code. Frankie can get down on life, on himself. He's been busted for taking things that make him feel lighter, but it only ever lasts as long as the drugs. He's clean, and he wants to stay clean. But he feels that familiar urge, that self-loathing that makes him itch for the powder. He won't do it. It'll make things worse. It'll make her look at him differently, and he's fucked everything up already.
“I will,” he promises.
She limps away to join the madness of the ring. Frankie’s heart goes with her.
~
“So, you shouted at her.”
“Yeah.”
“After she just ran away from her ex, who had put his hands on her and undid weeks of physiotherapy.”
“Yes, Pope. I did.”
“She practically confessed she's been in love with you since before Lisa, and then you implied she was a whore.”
“I didn't—”
“She's sleeping in her goddamn car, Frank.”
Frankie slams his hands down on the table, enjoying the brief sting of pain. “Jesus Christ. I know it was wrong. I know. Okay?”
Santiago shakes his head. “I don't think you do get it, asshole. I think you wanted to tell her you loved her because she was finally available. It was fucking selfish, Frank, and you know it.”
Frankie runs his hands through his hair. It's been a while since she cut it.
“Fuck.”
Pope is right.
Frankie became a soldier at that moment. A soldier with one goal: tell her the truth before she slipped away. And he neglected everything else. Her feelings, her fear, her uncertainty. And when he couldn't accomplish his mission, he panicked. He kept her close, pressured her, and never gave her room to breathe.
He threw away his friendship with her over a few petty words.
Frankie doesn't hear from her for a week. He asks around, consults her family and friends, but not even Benny, Will, or Pope have seen her. She's still on leave since her physiotherapist sent in a report detailing Erickson’s assault, but she typically makes a habit of checking in with her friends. It's why Frankie stays at Santiago’s, drinking enough to put him to sleep at night but never using. He dreams of his Fox at night. They’re different dreams than he usually finds himself living in. She isn't panting and moaning and screaming his name while he pounds into her. He dreams of her smiling and laughing and lying with him in his bed. She's safe in his dreams. She's with him, and he's good to her.
Frankie sleeps past noon the day she shows up on Santiago’s doorstep.
Santiago is dressed and he's already eaten, but neither he nor Frankie mind him leaving out some cold eggs and bacon for Frankie to munch on when he decides to get his lazy ass out of bed. He wanders downstairs eventually, scratching the back of his neck and grumbling “Good morning” even though it isn't. She's not here. She seems to be nowhere.
The knock at the door is clear but rushed. Santiago opens it to find her standing on his porch, dressed in a pair of ratty (men’s?) jeans, rolled up several times at the ankles, and a sweatshirt for a college she didn't attend. Her hair is tucked into the hood and she smiles grimly. “Hi.”
“Holy shit.” Santiago takes in the dark half-moons beneath her eyes and the tremor in her hands. But he notices the bruises most. Her lip is split, while her left cheekbone is shiny and purple. There's a cut on the slope of her nose and her forehead. He steps out onto the porch so Frankie can't overhear them or see her beat-up face. “Holy shit, Fox.”
“I know.” She brings him into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Santi. I’m in trouble. Couldn't contact you.”
He catches her sharp inhale when his hand brushes her side. He eyes her sternly. “What the fuck is going on?”
“It's Matt.” She rolls her eyes, but he sees tears well in the whites. “He found me the other night. Didn't like that I left. At least he didn't get my ankle again. Handcuffed him to the stove before he could try.”
Santiago pinches the bridge of his nose. Her relentless optimism is often refreshing, but right now, he's really fucking pissed off. “Is he put away?”
“Affirmative. Had to answer a lot of questions, but I sort of found myself asking a lot more.” She sighs. “I think he's into something. I’m being followed.”
Santiago frowns. “Drug pusher?”
“Not sure. All I know is I look like I had a fight with a blender, and I’ve seen a couple vehicles tailing me in the last couple days. Had to ditch my car.” She squeezes his arm. “I’m sorry I didn't reach out, Santiago. You didn't deserve to worry like that. None of you.”
Not even Frankie. It's unspoken, but he heard it in the way her words falter in the end. “You want to talk to him?” offers Santiago.
“Has he been…” She clears her throat. “Is he clean?”
“As a whistle. If you don't count whiskey.”
She smiles, and it's real. “Good. That's good.”
“He's not going to be happy to see you like this.”
“He's seen me take bullets,” she counters. “This is a walk in the park.”
That's not true—Frankie pouts when she gets a papercut—but Santiago nods. “You want something to eat?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve probably stayed too long already. I don't want you wrapped up in this. Whatever this is.”
He ushers her inside and makes sure there aren't any suspicious vehicles nearby before he locks the door. She isn't limping anymore, but the state of her face makes up for it by leaps and bounds.
Santiago squeezes her hand before he leaves to give them privacy. “He's been a total asshole without you around.”
She gives him a wry look. “I’m not going to forgive him, but I’m not going to chew him out, either. He already knows he's an idiot.”
She walks alone into the kitchen. He's sitting at the table and poking some cold eggs with a fork. “Frankie?”
The sound of her voice is something from his dreams. His head jerks up, expecting to find a shadow or a whisper only to wake up alone. But she's there. She's in the kitchen with him, standing just past the doorway. He feels the beat of his heart thrum back to life where it lay in her hands, at the same time his stomach plummets and his meagre breakfast threatens to lurch back up his throat. Frankie bolts to his feet.
She's been beaten.
“Who—”
“I’m okay.”
They speak at the same time, and a rapid silence overtakes the room. Frankie takes a step toward her. She doesn't move away. His fingers flex. He wants to touch her. He wants to tend to her wounds the way he's done so many times in the field.
No. He wants to touch her like a friend, a partner, a lover. He wants to be gentle and crack jokes and make her laugh. He wants to see her eyes scrunch up with joy.
He wants to kill who did this to her, but the urge to care for her overwhelms his tenuous anger.
“It’ll heal,” she says plainly.
He does not say a word.
“You've been my best friend for ten years, Frankie. That doesn't go away with a mistake. But I need your help, and it helps if this isn't painfully awkward.”
He understands the implication. I’m not here to make up.
“What's going on?” he asks. “I—we haven't heard from you.”
“I’m in trouble,” she tells him. It's straightforward as a soldier, but there's something else.
He's fine-tuned to her voice, the way she sounds when she’s angry all the way to jumping for joy. This sounds like fear, and it radiates all the way from his ears to his feet. “What’s happening?” he asks. “I want to help you, Foxy, I swear it. I’ll do anything.”
She smiles. It's coloured with exhaustion, agony, and a little gratefulness. “Thank you.”
~
The safe house is a little ways outside St. Augustine: an hour or so in Frankie’s truck if he takes the usual route to the coast. But he doesn't. He swerves between freeways, doubles back three times, and stops at four different service centres using three different credit cards and one with cash. It makes for one hell of a confusing trail, and it takes them four hours (and change) to get within a mile of the destination, but it seems to be working so far.
She’s silent for most of the trip, her knees drawn up to her chest and her body tilted toward the passenger’s side window. She watches the trees and roads speed by with her cheek in her palm. It's nighttime now. The lights of other cars illuminate the shiny bruises on her face, making Frankie tighten his grip on the steering wheel.
It's his fault. It’s all his fault that Erickson went back for her.
“How long have you had this place?” she asks. Her voice is raspy from disuse.
Frankie checks his rearview mirror to make sure no one follows him when he turns onto a side street that leads into town. “Me and the guys paid for it. Thought it would be good to have somewhere to go in the state. Just in case.”
She nods thoughtfully. “I like it here. It’s refreshing.”
He has so many things he wants to say. He needs to apologise, to beg for her forgiveness. He's going to get on his knees and plead with her. He won't lose his best friend because he got angry and stupid. But right now, he needs to protect her. He can do at least that.
“It's coastal,” says Frankie. “Should give you a good view.”
“Always thinking of the little guy, Cat,” she says playfully. He doesn't miss the hurt that still lingers in her tone. Neither of them can forget the things they said that day.
She confessed to wanting him before he married Lisa, and he threw it in her face. She will never want him again, but he will be forever damned if he doesn't make things right and earn the privilege of being her friend again.
“You aren't the little guy,” he says, making another turn. Ahead, he sees a familiar white wraparound porch. “War hero, remember?”
She snorts. “War hero who can't put up a fight against her psychotic ex-boyfriend.”
His frown deepens until he's technically pouting. “Fox…”
“Just fucking around, Frank.” She extends her leg and gently prods his thigh with her foot. His heart leaps to his throat. “Been through worse.”
His chest is fluttering from the simple touch alone. He doesn't know what he'd do if she truly touched him. Skin against skin.
“Focus, Catfish. Don’t want you fallin’ down on the job.”
“Eat my cue ball, Ironhead.”
“If you two don't shut up, I will shove this cue down your pants.”
A stranger sidled up behind her where she bent over the billiards table and swigged his beer. “Very nice,” he said, eyes on her ass in those tight jeans as she sunk the 12 ball.
Frankie frowned deeply at him. He had left his friends at the bar to approach her, and all of them were watching as he tried to engage her in conversation. Clearly, a bet had been made. “You from around here?”
“Are you trying to get under my skirt, out-of-towner?” She clicked her tongue. “For shame. Never wear a dress shirt to a bar.”
“C’mon,” he persisted. “We’ll buy your drinks.”
“I’m set,” she said politely. “But I don't want to be passed around.”
The man’s eyes travelled down toward her breasts. “You sure?”
Pope was the first to speak up, shouldering his way into the conversation. “Hey. My eyes are up here, buddy,” he says, more easy-going than Frankie would be if he trusted himself to speak.
Will sunk his next ball and clapped the man on the shoulder. “Try your luck somewhere else. She's taken.”
“What, by you?” scoffed the stranger.
“Nah, dickhead. By him.” Will jerked his head in Frankie’s direction.
Frankie, whose knuckles were white around his cue, didn’t register what's happening until she took a step away from the stranger and wrapped her hand around his bicep. The touch blossomed from the point of contact until it festered like a sore deep within his chest. She was touching him.
“Wanna take a picture, or you wanna fuck off?” said Frankie coolly.
The stranger lifted his hands in the air. “Can see when I’m not winning. Sorry.”
She rolled her eyes when he was gone and stepped away. “I’m sorry, Frank,” she said softly. “I won't tell Lisa or anything. Will shouldn't have…”
Frankie shook his head and kissed her temple in case the men were still watching. “Don't. He was bothering you.”
He didn't wear his wedding ring, and neither did Lisa, unless her parents were around. He should have loved her the way he did the girl in front of him. They both love María, their beautiful little girl, their light. But they never ached for each other the way Frankie does Fox.
Frankie pulls into the driveway. He recalls that night, the way her hand felt so assured around him. He recalls aching for it to be real, for him to stand up for her because he is with her, because he gets to sleep with her every night and love her freely. He's missed every single chance.
Nestled in a small neighbourhood near the highway and surrounded by fields of farmland, the house is quaint and painted a muted grey. The porch slinks around the house, a bench swinging in the gentle breeze. “Frank, the door,” she says. “Only half of it is painted.”
Frankie eyes the front door, dark green from the doorknob to the ground. “Got high with Pope,” he grumbles.
She hums her understanding and he escorts her inside. It's as plain inside as outside, a one-floor home with a small kitchen on the right and a living room to the left. In the hallway ahead lies doors to the bathroom and the bedroom. The singular bedroom.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he blurts out when her eyes land on the two doors down the hall. “Have before.”
She frowns up at him. “I brought this down on you, Cat. You take the bed.”
“Don't start. That couch is uncomfortable as shit.”
“Okay, you've convinced me.”
“I’ll get the bags.” He gently lifts her chin to examine her face, all clinical. “Bathroom’s on the left. I’ll meet you in there.”
She lifts a brow. “I can clean myself up.”
He grunts. “I’ve always been the better medic.”
He drops the bags on the floor and digs out the medical supplies from underneath the kitchen sink. She has shed her hoodie and remains in a tight tank top, examining bruises on her throat in the shape of fingers. His eye twitches.
“I know you're pissed,” she says without looking at him. “If it helps, I am, too. Never thought I’d have to fight him off like that. Just… wasn't in my best form.”
Frankie gently touches her side as he moves around her. “Up,” he says gruffly. She knows the drill; a hundred times over they’ve had to patch one another up in the field. This should feel no different. She settles herself on the countertop while he fishes around for a bandage. “You hurt anywhere else?”
It's the question he's been avoiding, but it's necessary. She shrugs. “Mostly just got me in the face.”
“That the truth?”
She breathes slower when he touches her face to clean off the cut on her forehead, and she holds her breath altogether when he gets to her lips. “Frank,” she says. It's a whisper, a leaf tumbling and drifting on a breeze, quiet as night.
He meets her eye after he's secured the bandage to her forehead. “Tell me.”
She lifts her hips and shimmies her too-big jeans down her legs. He's seen her in her underwear before, but it doesn't fail to make him feel like he's drowning. “He cut me here,” she says, showing him a knife slash on her inner thigh near her pelvis, and another just beneath the waistband of her panties. “And here.”
He swallows, seeing red. His hand finds her skin, gravitating to it like it’s an opposite charge, and he’s touching her thigh before he knows it. “Fuck,” he rasps. “Fuckin’ kill him.” The man cut up her perfect, smooth skin. He was supposed to cherish and protect her and make her feel beautiful. He fucking hurt her, and Frankie was not there to stop him. To rip him apart. He wants to feel his knuckles break upon impact.
She releases a shaky breath. He feels it ruffle his hair, so close together in the dim light. “He didn't—”
Frankie just shakes his head. She goes quiet. He doesn't trust himself to talk; it will probably dig the hole deeper. She watches him clean the cuts, fresh enough that this must've happened last night. Saturday night. It's the day she usually babysits.
She hisses suddenly. “Frankie, gentle, please.” She pries his hand from her thigh.
A wave of nauseating guilt wreaks havoc on his body. “Fuck. I’m sorry,” he croaks.
She plays an intricate game with her fingers as he continues to clean her wounds. He applies a worn-out tube of polysporin to the cut on her thigh. “Do you think María hates me now?” she asks, her voice soft and vulnerable as ever when it comes to his daughter. “Y’know, since I missed out on babysitting last week?”
He hums. “She couldn't hate you if you took all her toys away.”
“Don’t say a thing like that, Francisco. She’ll hear you.” Her head falls back and knocks gently against the wall. Her eyes slip shut. “You never told me what happened in Peru.”
“You… really don’t wanna know what happened in Peru, Fox.” Frankie grits his teeth, his hand coming to rest on her hip over that thin scrap of a tank top. “Promise.”
“You’re not giving me enough credit,” she says firmly, pinning him with a stare. “I’ve been your partner for ten years, Francisco. Lisa and I were terrified. She thought she was going to lose her baby’s dad, and I thought I was going to lose my best friend. You were gone for way longer than you said you’d be, and when you came back, none of you would talk about what happened. Redfly was gone, and all of you just—just moved on. You closed up.”
The least Frankie can do is look up and meet her eye. But he can’t. He just keeps his hand on her hip, gently stroking the bone with his thumb.
“You want to know something silly? Even when you and Lisa got married, I thought I still had a chance with you.” At that, his head jerks up at last, and he finds her eyes brimming with tears. “Stupid, right? I thought…” She scoffs, shaking her head. “I could deal with you not loving me, but you not trusting me hurt so much more.”
He squeezes her hip. “Honey…” His teeth clack together with how hard he bites down on his own jaw. “I haven’t trusted any of those guys with a rat shit’s worth of how much I trust you. You’ve taken a bullet for me, for fuck’s sake. It’s just… Losing Tom, killing those people, all for nothing. Jesus, I hate myself for how well I sleep considering everything I’ve done.”
“It wasn’t for nothing,” she says indignantly. “It can’t have been for nothing.”
That just makes him feel more cynical. “Stole about two hundred and fifty million. Came back with what amounted to a million each, and didn’t keep a cent.”
Her lips part in understandable shock, but all she says is, “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Nothing good came from it,” says Frankie. “Not a goddamn minute of it. Tom’s dead.”
“Frank.” She steadies her hands on his shoulders as she slips off the vanity and looks up at him. It vaguely occurs to him that she’s still in her panties. “Do you trust me?”
“With my fucking life,” he replies.
“Have I ever steered you wrong?”
“There was that one time when you took a left inside of a right off Madison—”
She repeats her question, and he answers truthfully this time. “No, Fox. You haven’t.”
Even on a roof, scoping the enemy, or in his daughter’s bedroom, singing a gentle lullaby, or in the barracks, trading jokes (Frankie) and wisdom (Fox). Every word that has ever escaped her perfect lips has coiled itself around his heart.
“Then trust me to tell you the truth.” She tugs on the hems of his sleeves with her fingers. “You have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. Sometimes, I want to rip it out and examine it under a microscope just to watch it work the way it does. And sometimes, I want to beat you over the head with it. I know it’s hard. I’ve had my fair share of shit I had to trudge through in order to just fucking function every day. But you gotta know how good you are, Frank. You have to. Because if you don’t, there isn’t any hope for the rest of us.” She adjusts the cap on his head. “Killing and fighting isn’t who we are. It’s what we do. I’ll make something to eat.”
With that, she’s gone, slipping past him, leaving him cold and stunned and unable to speak. She’s all the wisdom of a prophet, sunshine in a human body, the first crack of a firework and the muffled silence of dipping your head underwater. She’s the serenity of dusk. He doesn’t know how to gather all the love that spills through his fingers.
#kiwisbell's fics#pedro pascal fic#frankie morales#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales x f!reader#triple frontier#francisco catfish morales#frankie morales fanfiction#frankie morales smut#frankie morales x you#triple frontier fanfiction
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Batkids bullying (or vibing with) Gotham villains (or antiheroes)
#Stephs phone is in Spanish cause my phone is in Spanish and I’m lazy moving on#Steph is here! yeaaaahh!#drawing baby robins gives me life#The adventures of baby robins#Bruce is having the time of his life I’m telling you#pls appreciate the effort I put into Killer Croc I struggle drawing people let alone humanoid/non human stuff oooff#i love drawing angst but dumb fluff is good 2#fanart#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#batbros#batsiblings#batkids#robin#robins#mi basura
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"Now How Come I've Only Found Out About This Now?" [G.W]
[Pairing:] George Weasley x Fem!Artist!Reader
[Summary:] So far, George Weasley knows three things about his new potions partner; So why not make it four? Or five?
[Warnings:] use of mudblood, a bit of angst, a bit of swearing, a pov change at some point in the end, idk-- fluff?? (is that a warning??)
[Word Count:] ≈2.7k
[A/N:] i used @buckystrenchcoat 's fluff plots for george weasley: 2. George finding out you can draw (kind of got carried away but oh well :D--) (ps just imagine that classes in hogwarts includes all of the houses together, thanks <3) Y/H = your house. (dk the timeline or what year george and the reader are in but i'd say between 3rd-5th year)
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The Weasley twins were becoming reckless and apparently, Professor Snape has had enough. The constant explosions on the other side of the dungeon and the numerous attempts at drowning his hair with shampoo has eventually led him to the decision of assigning the entire class their partners.
Thus halfway into the semester, the Weasley twins are never to be seen together again... that is until the end of 2nd period where they will go back and cause mischief elsewhere.
Fred was assigned to a Slytherin girl who George couldn't figure out if she's madly in love with his brother or wants to rip out his guts. While he on the other hand was assigned with Y/N. Truthfully, he never gave much thought to her, but after their first double potions lesson as partners, he began to wonder why he never gave much thought to her.
She was smart but never overbearing, made jokes here and there, sniggered when he made even the cheesiest of puns, and is wicked attractive. Their first task was to brew a calming draught and whilst adding in a smidge more of lavender, she proposed that they should make more while the majority of the class was still struggling.
"Why in Merlin's beard are we going to make more? We can just pass this and leave class early?" He asked, bringing a smile to her lips. "Yeah, yeah, that's what you want, don't you Weasley?" She quipped, looking back up to the red-headed boy who's now readying their vials.
"Just thought that we could make some for people, like, your brother. Poor guy, reckon he's going to rip his hair out getting partnered with Tuttle." And with that, George let out a laugh, a laugh that cost Gryffindor 5 points. Though, all was well when they were the first to finish and send their little vial of calming draught into the hands of Severus Snape, garnering 5 points each and an opportunity to leave class 10 minutes early.
And that was it, that was their relationship; potions partners.
George Weasley learned 2 things that day. One, his potions partner was someone he wanted to know more, to be with more, and two, one should never put a liberal amount of peppermint in a calming draught. (Fred learned that the hard way.)
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She was the epitome of beauty and brains. So far, that's what he knew about his potions partner. But a little incident in the corridor made two into three.
It wasn't unusual for Fred and George Weasley to skip class, especially if the class was History of Magic. And it also wasn't unusual for them to hide behind a tapestry whilst a stinky dungbomb was set in the first-floor corridor.
What was unusual though, was George not wanting to move from their hiding place, forcing Fred to also not move. "George, mate, wha-?" "SHH!"
Whatever Fred's question was supposed to be, it quickly got answered by the presence of a certain someone whose walking to the Muggle Studies classroom, his brother's potions partner perhaps? Fred grinned mischievously, nudging his brother in the abdomen, and earning a wince.
"Oi mudblood! Was that you?" They heard from a distance, heavy footsteps following the girl he's teasing his brother with. From their point of view, they could tell that the girl stopped in her tracks, sighing heavily as though this was a regular thing.
"Was that me, what?" She asked, clearly annoyed. "Was that you who did it? Or d'you just shat yourself? It smells horrid. Would make sense, as you're a filthy little mudblood."
George's blood was beginning to boil, fingers formed into a fist, knuckles white. Especially when they got to see the silhouette of the two arguing. Perfect, Winnifred Tuttle, his brother's potions partner bullying his Y/N Y/L/N. He had an urge to protect her. To avenge her. To show her how much he cared for someone who's supposed to be his potions partner.
"Was that supposed to be an insult, Tutts?" Y/N spat back, pulling George out of his trance and making Fred shut his mouth. Now he's the one staring intently. "It's honestly just sad. A 'pureblood' like you should know the difference between a dungbomb and a piece of shit. Or perhaps you're probably just that daft?"
The boys were fixated on their conversation now. A hand on their mouths, hopefully covering up their shock even if they're hiding behind a tapestry. George's heart was beating faster now.
"Me? Daft? Well, if I'm daft then why are you taking muggle studies?" Tuttle sneered, an ugly grin splattered across her face.
"Bit hypocritical, isn't it, Winnie? Bye-bye!" She turned her back away from the Slytherin now, walking into the Muggle Studies classroom, holding a few books in one hand and her middle finger in the other.
He knows three things about her now; She's bewitching, she's a whizz, and she's a muggle-born who doesn't take shit.
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A few more lessons in and one could say that Y/N and George are starting to become friendlier to each other. Acquaintances, sure, but, friendly nonetheless. But the Gryffindor wanted to live up to its name, to its values. He might've just gotten to know a bit about her but he was completely and utterly entranced.
Nothing's going to stop him now.
His right hand held his wand as he stirred the concoction in the cauldron. She, on the other hand, was cutting up the stewed mandrake. The easy silence between them was broken by none other than the lion himself.
"Hey," he called, lifting his gaze from the potion to the girl right next to him. "Hi." She said back.
"So... Today's a Friday, right?"
She looked at him, confused, recounting a particular time in which she looked at a calendar today. "Yeah, I think so."
"And we can go to Hogsmeade after classes?"
"Pretty sure you can, why?"
"Want to go on a date?"
She looked stunned which kind of hurt George's ego but as soon as the slightly parted mouth of hers became a cheerful grin, he felt a whole lot better.
"As long as you stop staring at me and not over mix our potion, then sure, I'll go out with you." She smiled, making George give a shy little grin back before attempting to put all his concentration on the brew. Mind boggled on the way she said 'our potion.'
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Going to Muggle Studies felt utterly useless now that Y/N's been promised to go on a date right after. But having George by her side, walking her to the class just seemed to be the best part of the day.
He recounted the time when he and Fred hid behind a tapestry and told Y/N all about it, giving a hot feeling to her cheeks. They stopped by the door frame of the classroom, Professor Burbage was waiting inside, pacing around her study as George's hand slyly held Y/N's.
"I'll pick you up later?" He asked with the same shy smirk plastered on his face, cheeks pink and ears flushed. "Yeah. Thanks for walking me here. You shouldn't have." She uttered, heels rising and falling as she bounced on her toes.
"Just making sure that Tuttsy's not going to ruin your day, love." Y/N felt heat rising to her cheeks and ears, as well as an uncontrollable grin. Her heel turned to make her face the concrete walls of the castle, hands covering their face and body slightly swaying from side to side. It was ridiculous, really. Dumb. Very.
"You're adorable when you're flustered."
"Shut up, Weasley." And with that, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, leaving him slightly startled, stunned, and very red in the face. "You're adorable when you're flustered." She quipped, walking into the Muggle Studies classroom and taking her seat.
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Muggle Studies felt oddly slow that day. Usually, it lasted an hour but today it felt like a century. Professor Burbage's talk about electricity and muggle technology went in one ear and out the other.
If you'd ask why Y/N chose a subject she already knew plenty about, her answer would be that she wanted to see things from a different perspective. But truthfully, she just knew that she'd be good at it and it'd be an easy O.
So there she was; A scrap piece of parchment laid on the wooden desk and a pen since Professor Burbage discouraged the use of quills.
Her mind wandered off the moment she sat down on her chair. Feet either bouncing up and down or stuck straight onto the floor, she wouldn't know. What she did remember was her non-dominant hand posing itself as the other one scribbled on the piece parchment.
Her fingers played with the hazy light and the ink added depth. Soon she started sketching other things; The student in front of her, a study of Professor Burbage, a head with a moderately strong jaw and beautiful, short, messy hair. A male side profile with a big nose that has a slight bump on its bridge matching a cheeky grin with dimples. Her hand posed itself once more but this time she wasn't making it look like hers, she was making it look like his. Something she's seen many times before, and guiltily stared at once, twice, more than she could recount.
She was adding in the cluster of freckles when the worst happened; "Miss Y/L/N, still with us?" Professor Burbage stood at the front of the class, standing straight, clearly thinking about her posture. "Miss Y/L/N?"
She felt an elbow nudge her arm, and that was the thing that brought her back into reality. Her head whipped itself to face her seatmate then to her Professor, giving her a funny-looking nervous grin.
"Charm would get you nowhere, Miss Y/L/N. When was the first electricity generator introduced in Britain? And where was it installed?" She has to have something in that brain of hers. It must've been taught sometime when she was in muggle school. "Err-- 1900s something, Surrey--?"
Professor Burbage meekly chuckled, "Nice try. 1881. Godalming, Surrey. A point from Y/H then, I'm sorry."
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George was faithful and stuck to his word. Even being 5 minutes early after asking Professor Grubbly-Plank if he could go to the bathroom and have a wee, saying that the unicorns would definitely mind if he pissed on their trees.
He did not go to the bathroom but instead went straight to the Muggle Studies classroom. Leaning the side of his body onto the wall by the door. Trying his best to peer into the room and find his potions partner and soon to be his date and maybe even his. But he was getting ahead of himself.
The bell rang and he heard a loud shuffling sound of chairs being pulled back. The door was opened as students from all of the houses started pouring out and there she was. Looking beautiful as ever with her bag slung on her shoulder.
"Glad to see you're alright there, dove." He cooed, earning once again another shy smile. "Anything happened there?" He asked, pointing to the now open classroom.
"Felt way longer than usual, and I lost a house point." She said matter of factly. George chuckled, his heart filled with pride as he turned his head towards her.
"And what have you done to lose said house point?"
She smiled before reaching her hand into a pocket of her robes, pulling out a folded piece of aged parchment before handing it to the curious redhead.
"What's this? A love letter?" He bantered. "Just open it." And so he did. His nimble fingers unfolding the parchment, then he was stunned. Seeing his face drawn in ink with lines crossing over more lines was the last thing he expected. It looked like him. And it didn't look like Fred. It is him.
"I was just drawing in class but then I sort of blanked out and got a dumb question wrong." She paused, looking back up to see if the redhead was still listening. "Hello? Earth to George?"
"You drew me?" He was on a fine line of disbelief and awe. It truly looked amazing. She drew her hand at least three times before he recognized his was also there. She even got the little freckle he had on the middle of his wrist. The full body of ol' Professor Burbage brought so much of her energy and even the way her scarf wrapped around her neck was perfect.
Her cheeks were heating up again, realizing what she just did. "It's not that good. Just-- drew what I saw and, err-- whatever came to mind, I guess." Bad execution, sloppy excuse. "Okay, you've been looking at that for way too long now--"
"This looks bloody brilliant! Now how come I've only found out about this now?"
"Flattery would get you nowhere, Weasley." She joked, but he was serious.
"S'not 'flattery' if I'm stating what's true! It's amazing, you're amazing." She felt her heartbeat increase by a mile.
"Well then, I'm flattered." She said, adjusting the strap of her bag to hopefully let out some adrenaline. "And to answer your question, it'd be terrifying if I just started drawing in Snape's class. I swear that man has eyes at the back of his head. That's why this is a new discovery for you."
"Fuck, this is amazing!" He uttered.
"It's really not that good--"
"'S'really not that good' Some shit standards you have there. I'd put this in a museum!" He said loudly, extending both his arms and imagining that the piece of parchment was displayed on the Hogwarts walls. "If you don't like it then I'll keep it." George joked, expecting disapproval, which, to his shock, never came.
"Are you actually giving this to me?"
She shrugged, "I mean if you'd like a photo of you drawn by a teenage girl then be my guest." He smiled, genuinely smiled. He looked so pretty at that moment and there shouldn't be any holding back now.
"...But," She started, his gaze looked intently at her, ready to listen to whatever comes next. "There's a price."
"Between Freddie and I, we have 26 galleons and a few sickles." He said, earning a hearty laugh and a shake of her head. "Don't really think he'd like me to give all of it to you, I'm sorry. If you want I'd pay a bit then I--"
"No, George." She said, tugging lightly on his tie to gain his attention. "How about... a kiss? Perhaps?"
He grinned. His hand hovered itself across her face before landing on her cheek, thumb gracing itself on its apples, slightly squishing the skin whilst his eyes looked for any signs of discomfort; there was none.
They slowly leaned in, eyes locked on lips before their lips locked onto each other. His lips were slightly chapped but it felt like the softest thing on Earth. He smelled of cinnamon, firewood, gunpowder, and other indescribable scents, but it was nice. It was short but meaningful, gentle, even. His other hand was wrapped around her waist and once again, his thumbs were running up and down whatever part of her body it's laid on.
He learned two more things about the girl that day; she's artistic, and she felt like home.
He never thought there'd be a time in his life where he'd be thankful for Severus Snape. But life goes in unexpected ways.
"If you'd like to tip me then I'm just going to say that I love cauldron cakes." She grinned up at him as they pulled away before settling her face in his chest. George chuckled to himself before wrapping his arms completely on her waist, placing a sweet kiss on the top of her head.
"Yeah, yeah, come on." He said, pulling away to let her shake herself up as he held onto the piece of folded parchment which graced his face, giving it a small peck before putting it in his pocket, patting it three times.
"Better sign that drawing for me, Y/N. How much does an autograph cost?"
"Double the original price—?"
"And the tip?"
"And the tip."
#george weasley fanfiction#george weasley fluff#george weasley x reader#george weasley x fem!reader#george weasley x ravenclaw!reader#george weasley x hufflepuff!reader#george weasley x slytherin!reader#george weasley x gryffindor!reader#george weasley fic#george weasley#george weasley x y/n#oml this is long
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how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)
summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?
pairing: jjk x reader
genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst
words: ~12.2k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)
note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--
both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece
i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video
enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺
"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.
"Yes?"
"Can I nap in your room?"
"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.
"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.
"You're lucky I like you."
"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."
"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.
Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.
"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.
"When's your next class, you little baby?"
"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"
"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.
You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more.
But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.
And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.
Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.
Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.
Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.
It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.
"Class time."
"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"
"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."
"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."
"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.
"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"
"I said I'd think about it right?"
"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."
"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.
"Just come for a little bit."
"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."
"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.
"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."
"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.
"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.
"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"
"Sure. If you pay." He groans
"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.
Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.
Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.
"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.
"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—
"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"
"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.
"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.
"Shut up, Jungkook—"
"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."
"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.
"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.
"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."
"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.
After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier. The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.
"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.
"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."
"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"
"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."
"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."
"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.
"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.
"Should be holy water because you all need it."
"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.
"How many people are you expecting?"
"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."
"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."
"They're invited too."
"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"
"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."
"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.
He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"
"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."
"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.
"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.
"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.
"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."
"It sounds like you want to."
"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.
"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."
"Yesssss! I do."
"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."
"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].
And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.
"I'm back!"
"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.
"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.
"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."
"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.
"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"
"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.
"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.
Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.
Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.
"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.
"Yeah, good idea."
"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."
"Can I join?" His eyes light up.
"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.
While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.
"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.
"You smell just like me." You chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.
"No, I'll be good."
"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.
"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.
"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."
"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.
"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.
"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.
"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.
"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."
"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"
"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."
"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."
"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.
"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"
"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?
"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."
"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.
"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."
"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?
Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.
Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.
Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.
"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.
"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.
"What are you talking about?"
"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"
"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."
"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."
"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.
"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."
"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.
He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.
Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.
"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.
"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.
"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."
"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.
"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.
"What the fuck?"
"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.
"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."
"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"
"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.
And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.
10 drinks.
10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.
"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.
"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.
You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.
But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.
"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.
"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."
"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.
"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.
"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.
"Y-yes." You whine.
"Say it again."
"All for you, Kook."
"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.
"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.
"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.
"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.
"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.
The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.
You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.
No.
That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.
Nothing.
Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.
The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.
Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'
Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.
Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.
And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.
"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.
"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.
"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.
"Y/N—"
"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.
"I never said—"
"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.
Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.
You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.
"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.
"Y/N, wait. Stop."
"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.
"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.
"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.
"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"
"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.
Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.
This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.
You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.
Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?
"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body. "Just got out of practice?"
"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.
"How was it?"
"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."
"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.
"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.
"What time is it at?"
"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.
"Sure. I'll come."
"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.
"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"
"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.
"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."
"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.
"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."
"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”
"Yeah I know."
"Tell me how it goes!"
"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.
You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.
To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.
To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.
The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.
Gross.
Messy, indeed.
Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.
"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?
"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."
"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.
"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"
"Who the hell said that?"
"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"
"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.
"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."
"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.
Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.
God.
You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.
Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.
"Hello? Y/N?"
"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"
"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.
"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.
"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.
You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.
I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?
He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.
Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.
Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.
But he can tell.
"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.
"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.
"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.
"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"
"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.
"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."
"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"
"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."
"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.
"Wait."
"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the head of his chair while he turns to you.
"Can you just lay with me?"
"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"
"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.
"Y/N."
"Yeah?"
"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"
"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.
"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."
"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.
"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.
"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.
"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."
"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.
"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.
"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.
"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.
"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.
"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.
And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.
But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.
And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.
Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.
The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.
"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.
Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.
That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.
Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.
And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.
"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.
"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.
"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"
"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.
"Yeah, I was."
"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"
"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."
"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.
"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.
And he gets that.
His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.
"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Hm?"
"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.
"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.
"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.
"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.
"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.
"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.
"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.
"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.
"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.
"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.
"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.
"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.
"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.
"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.
"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.
"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."
"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.
"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.
"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.
You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.
"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.
"I love you too." You giggle.
"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.
"Shut up."
"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.
#bts#bts fanfiction#jeon jungkook#jungkook#kook#jeongguk#bts jeon jungkook#bts jeon jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook#jungkook one shot#bts jeon jungkook one shot#bts jungkook one shot#bts au#bts au fic#bts imagines#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jjk x reader#bts jungkook x reader#bts fluff#bts smut#jeon jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook smut#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook one shot#writing#xpeachesncream
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Unrequited
azriel (acotar) x reader
Summary: takes place during acofas, you and Azriel are mates but he doesn’t know it yet, angst, fluff, and everything in between
*Also this is my first imagine ever so I'm sorry if it sucks lol! There will be a part 2 to this, but I am still working on it!!
word count: 3927
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The winter solstice was in a few days and you weren’t sure what to get some of the inner circle. You walked briskly down the streets of the Rainbow, chilled to the bone due to the wind. You had made the dumb mistake of rushing out of the townhouse - to avoid any questions of where you were going - without taking your scarf. Your current outfit, which was a chunky knit blue sweater with leggings and boots, wasn’t enough to keep the chill away. But the cold wasn’t the most important thing on your mind. You had already bought presents for Rhys, Feyre, Amren, and Elain, but that left Cassian, Mor, and Azriel. Mor and Cass would be pretty easy to buy for, but you put it off knowing they would look through your room trying to find their solstice gift. But Azriel, that would be much harder.
Every waking hour, the shadowsinger haunted your thoughts. Something you had come to conclude was unrequited.
You had realized the mating bond between you two before he did.
It had clicked a few months ago while on a diplomatic mission. The aftermath of Hybern had left things chaotic, and if you were being honest, it still was. Rhys decided to send Cassian, Mor, Azriel, and you to travel to some of the other courts to bring back reports on the recovery after the war. However, traveling did have some dangers. While you were on your way back to Velaris from the Winter Court, your group was ambushed by a group of Hybern soldiers who had been hiding out in the mountains. Had it not been for Azriel’s wings shielding you from the initial arrows, you would’ve surely been dead, and that’s when it clicked for you. But like an idiot, you didn’t say anything.
You had thought if the bond had clicked for you, it would've clicked for Azriel too. You realized your mistake when Azriel hadn’t acknowledged any change between you two. You hoped that he would figure it out in the coming weeks, but he didn’t. You knew the same sort of situation happened with feyre and rhys so you still held out some hope. But as the months went by, and you realized the bond still hadn’t clicked for Azriel and it felt too late to tell him.
At least that was the excuse you made up. Truly, you were also afraid of the rejection that could have followed. You weren’t a fool, you knew him and Elain had some sort of connection, and that shattered your dreams even more. The possibility that he wouldn’t accept the mating bond to be with the fair skinned, doe eyed fae. Everytime Azriel was in the same room as Elain, she was the only thing he would pay attention to. During gatherings, you would plaster on a smile and act as if you were happy, but Cassian and Mor, your best friends, could sense your discomfort. They tried to ask you about it, but seeing as you would shut down anything they said, they decided not to pry too much. Amren ended up figuring out the source of your discomfort had to do with Azriel, but kept your secret until you would be ready to share it.
You came to the conclusion that distancing yourself from him would be the best option, so that's what you did.
You walked down the street till you got to one of the finest seamstresses is Velaris. Since you were an artist like Feyre, you decided to draw out a dress and have it made for Mor. The color was blood red, her signature. It was a silk slip dress that would come down to her mid-lower calf and it would be embroidered with a brilliant gold thread. You drew out a pattern of the sun, stars, and moon, which you hoped she would like. To go along with Mor’s dress, you got a jeweler to make a custom necklace and bracelet set to go with it. You designed more dainty jewelry that had gold stars with diamonds, since she was a dreamer.
You decided to design Cassian’s gift as well, creating a beautiful silver and black dagger with a moonstone on the hilt. It was a beautiful dagger, but you also made sure it was usable, because you would hate for it to go to waste. To add onto the combat theme, you also decided to buy him new fighting leathers with touches of red embroidery to match his siphons. Lastly, you bought Cassian a bottle of fae wine, which definitely wouldn't last long.
The last thing you got for all three of you was a friendship necklace. Although that sounds corny, the two of them had become such a positive force in your life and you couldn’t imagine life without them. Keeping with the celestial theme for the friendship necklaces, you bought a sun, a moon, and a star. The sun for Cassian, the moon for Mor, and the star for you. Although they are opposites in some ways, all three need each other, just like the three of you needed each other.
Now that you had gotten Mor’s and Cassian’s solstice gifts figured out, it was onto Azriel’s gift. You honestly had no clue what to get him. Due to distancing yourself, you weren’t sure if there was something that he wanted. You were positively stumped. Lucky for you though, you ended up spotting Mor in another shop a few stores down from where you were, most likely getting the rest of her solstice gifts. You decided to sneak up on her as a friendly prank. Grabbing her shoulders, you yelled in her ear, making her jump.
“Oh mother above, it’s just you, y/n! You scared the life out of me” Mor said.
“Doing some last minute shopping?” you asked. “I could ask you the same thing”. Giving her a playful smack on the arm, the corners of your mouth curled upward, even the simplest remark from her could make you smile.
The two of you were currently standing in front of a jewelry shop, looking at the collections of necklaces and earrings through the window. “Wow” you breathed out “These are all so beautiful”
“Indeed they are, although they’re quite pricey”
“How pricey is pricey?”
She whispered the amount in your ear and you stopped breathing for a second, “Holy Mother wow, that is quite the price tag. At least we can admire it from a far”, you laughed out. Even though you got a very generous salary from Rhys, you still felt guilty spending so much money on materialistic things.
After a moment you said, “Actually, since you’re here, I do need help finding a solstice gift for Azriel”, softening your voice at the end, “Any ideas?” you asked, drawing out the syllables.
“Well, I always get Azriel some cool towels, clothing, or a dagger!” Mor said. A small scoff came out of my mouth as I shook my head and raised my eyebrows. “Fine!” she exclaimed, “I may have overheard him needing a new leather sheath for Truth Teller.” grumbling towards the end. “Oh that sounds great, thank you for the help! Now let’s go off to the closest leather goods store and find a sheath!”.
“y/n! I still have shopping to do” a scowl appearing on her face. “Fine, I guess I’ll just call Cassian, cause his judgement might be better than yours, when it comes to knife related things of course” you said, baiting her.
“Ugh, I hate you y/n”
“I hate you too Mor”
“Fine, let's get going before I change my mind” she grumbled. Then we took off down the streets of the Rainbow to find a sheath.
The task was easier said than done, for you at least. Being indecisive and a major over thinker, you had looked through close to 100 sheaths, but none of them seemed good enough to hold the blade that Azriel never let anyone else touch. Except Elain.
While you were lost in your thoughts, you laid your y/c eyes on the perfect sheath. It had a bright cobalt blue stitching to match Az’s siphons. Along the tip and lining the top of the leather was a thin coat of silver plating with little sapphires embedded in the metal. You quickly snatched it up and paid a hefty price for it, but it was perfect.
“Thank god you finally picked one, it felt like we were in that store for centuries”. Mor sighed, probably a sigh of relief for getting out of the store, “But y/n, it’s perfect, I know Azriel will love it”
“Do you really think so? I just want it to be the perfect gift and I’m scared he won’t like it because what if it’s too simplistic and what if-”
“Hey! It's perfect! Don’t stress too much y/n. And for the record, I think that you’re an amazing gift giver - the amount of thought you put into gifts make it all the better.”
You could feel a blush creeping up your cheeks and mumbled a small thank you.
“Anyway while we’re here do you need to get anything to go with your solstice outfit?”
“Oh Actually, I was so stressed about getting everyone’s solstice gift that I forgot to buy my dress” your voice falling off at the end. You felt yourself being yanked to a harsh stop and the saw Mor’s face staring at yours, mouth gaping and eyes wide.
“Are you crazy?? Solstice is in 3 days and you still don’t have anything??? Oh honey, our shopping isn’t done yet.” And with that statement you found yourself being pulled into the nearest dress shop. After trying on nearly 20 dresses you finally found the perfect one, which Mor approved. It was a light blue silk dress that was more fitted at the top but flared down at your waist. It had a cowl neckline, a slit going up the side to the mid upper thigh, and accentuates your curves beautifully and has a slight shimmer to it. You looked ethereal in it
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After your exhausting day of shopping, you couldn’t wait to get out of the cold. You swiftly walked back to the townhouse. Once inside you made your way to your room to set down the gifts, change your clothes, and grab your book. Then you quietly headed down to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea and sat on the couch to read. The house was quiet since all of the others decided to go to Rita’s tonight. You decided to stay home for some much needed relaxation. You opened your book and started reading. After a few hours, you felt your eyes drooping and eventually, sleep consumed you.
The loud noise of the front door caused you to stir and your eyes fluttered open. You were too exhausted to look so you just laid your head back down and tried to go to sleep. You could hear Mor whispering something and then felt yourself being lifted off the couch and being held close to a chest with your blanket still draped on you.
“Cass?” you whispered hoarsely along with a string of incoherent words
You heard a slight laugh “Not Cass but It’s ok, go back to sleep”. Then you felt yourself being gently placed on your bed and the sleep hit you before you could mutter a thank you.
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The sun was setting towards the sea as you sat in the sitting room of the town house. You were in your blue silk dress with a glass of wine in your hand. Rhys and Feyre were by the mantel, quietly talking while Mor and Amren were across the room. Near the window I saw Elain, and from the corner of my eye I could see Azriel making his way towards her. My face fell but I quickly plastered on a smile, not wanting to concern anyone. Especially since today was also Feyre’s birthday and we had planned a surprise for her. Feyre thought she could slip her birthday past us, but we hadn’t forgotten. After a few minutes, Cassian made his way from the kitchen with the enormous cake.
You floated towards Feyre and gave her arm a light squeeze. “Happy Birthday, make a wish before the candles melt!”
She blew out the candles and then we ate cake before opening up the presents.
---------------------------------
Rhys snapped his fingers and piles of brightly wrapped bags and boxes filled up the sitting room. Amren was the first to open her presents. Naturally, everyone got her something jewelry related. Amren opened mine and you saw a wide smile set across her face, she picked up the diamond necklace and nodded a ‘thank you’ your way. You returned the gesture back, a small smile forming on your face.
Next, Cassian handed Mor her present from him and she pulled out a-. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He bought her red lingerie. Your face turned slightly red, but the Mor said “Don’t let him fool you: he couldn’t think of a damn thing to get me, so he gave up and asked me outright. I gave him precise orders. For once in his life, he obeyed them.”
Then, you heard one sharp knock at the door.
Nesta.
You saw Cassian tense up a bit. Nesta walked in, linking arms with Elain. She got a glass of wine before heading to sit in a chair in the back of the room. The silence was deafening. Finally Varian started talking and the present opening resumed.
From Amren, you received a new calligraphy set. It was so beautiful and you loved it. From Rhys, you got some books. It was perfect since you loved to read, and they were ones that you had been wanting to read for a long time. From Feyre, you received a painting as well as a new paint brush kit.
Cassian made his way to you and set a gift down in your lap. You opened the dark blue box that Cassian had placed in your lap. He had gotten you a sky blue hardbound journal with a gold embossed star on it. You desperately needed a new one, and this was perfect. You walked over and gave him a hug, whispered “Thank you, I love it.”.
Next you opened Mor’s present. You nearly choked when you saw what she got you and your whole face heated up. She got you a matching navy blue lingerie set like the one Cassian bought her.
“Yeah, I wasn’t too sure what to get you so I thought we could twin”. You looked around the room and saw the others holding in their laughs. You could’ve sworn you saw a tinge of red on Azriel’s ears. You just smiled and mouthed a silent “I’m going to kill you, but thank you” at her.
There wasn’t anything from Azriel. Your heart twinged. Had you not been important enough? It was just a present you reminded yourself, fixing your composure before handing Cassian his present.
He ripped it open like an animal, squealing when he saw it. A promising reaction given the amount of thought you put into it.
“Did you design these? They look amazing!”
“Yeah, I’m glad you like it. It took a long time to figure out what to get for your dumb ass”
“You mean my cute ass”, you smacked his arm and then got up to give Mor her present.
You closely watched her reaction as she opened her dress and jewelry, a large smile spreading across her face.
“You really buy the perfect presents y/n, I love it”.
“Oh Cass, Mor. One more thing.” You pulled out the small boxes with the friendship necklaces and bracelets handing it to them. “This was just a little something extra I thought of, I hope you like it”. You knew you would have started stuttering and crying if you had said the meaning to them, so you just handed them notes instead. They read over them, eyes glossing over, and pulled you into a hug.
“This is the only time I’ll wear jewelry” Cass stated, causing you to chuckle
Then Mor said, “I am never taking this off” causing you to laugh again.
Finally, Azriel opened up his presents. He had opened up all the others. All that was left was yours and Elain’s gift to him. He found his way to your present first, opening it.
“A new sheath for Truth Teller. I heard you needed a new one” you quietly said.
He held your gaze and smiled, “Thank you, it's great”. Suddenly feeling exposed, you quickly gave him a nod.
Then he went to open Elain’s gift. “It’s a powder to mix in with any drink.” she said.
Silence.
Elain bit her lip and then smiled sheepishly. “It’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples so often.”
Silence again.
Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed.
You hadn’t heard him laugh before, and mother above it was gorgeous. You had never heard a sound so deep and joyous, a sound which made your heart clench. A part of you wished you were the reason he was laughing. You forced on a smile and spent the rest of the night drinking away the slight pain in your chest.
You were exhausted by the end of the night, sitting on the couch with Cassian and Mor, Azriel and Rhys seated on the opposite side of you.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw movement towards the door, and craned your head to see what was going on. It was Nesta making her way to the door. You felt the couch lift next to you.
Cassian. He had swiftly pushed past Feyre and went after Nesta. This wouldn’t end well.
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Cassian had come back quiet and brooding, walking straight to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of liquor. You got up off the couch and followed him straight into the kitchen.
“Cass, let’s take a walk, yeah?”
“I just took a walk”
“It wasn’t a question”. You grabbed a white shawl and his hand and led him outside. “What happened?”
“What’s there to talk about? It was like all the other times. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who doesn't even love me back. Who looks at me like the Illyrian born bastard I am. Who hates the idea of being in the same room as me.”
You grabbed Cass’ hand, lightly squeezing it. “Don’t say that. Nesta, she,” your voice stopping for a second “She’s different. The way she handles pain and copes is different. Give her time. She just needs time. I know how much that may pain you, but you can’t rush healing”
You pulled him into a hug
“And for the record, I know the feeling more than you know” you quietly said “unrequited love”, head pointed at the ground.
Cassian tilted his head down to look at you, his face painted with confusion. You could tell he wanted to know more, but didn’t want to pry too much.
You hesitated before continuing, not sure if you wanted to reveal your closely guarded secret. “I-“ your voice faltering, “I found my mate”. The words seemed to have rushed out of your mouth and tears pricked your eyes as you said that. After months of hiding it, you had finally gotten it off your chest.
Cassian stood shocked, staring at you. “You found your mate? And you didn’t think to tell any of us? How long ago was this”
“I-, I found out who he was around the same time Rhys sent us on that diplomatic mission. And I didn’t tell anyone because he doesn’t even know yet.”
“That was almost 6 months ago, and you didn’t say anything?”.
The tears had started flowing at this point, “I thought he would figure it out. But by the time I realized he wasn’t going to figure it out, it was too late. He had already set his eyes on someone else. And I know I could never compete with Elain, even if I am his mate.” the last part slipped out without you realizing.
“Elain? What does she-“ his eyes widening “Does that mean Az is-“
You slowly nodded, tears welled up, threatening to spill out.
“Oh, mother…”, he pulled you into a tighter hug and that’s when the gates broke. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you sobbed into Cassian's chest, his hand stroking your back.
you must have been there for 15 minutes before you realized the other might start getting suspicious. Regaining your composure, you dried your tears and tried, to the best of your ability, to hide that you had been crying.
Looking back at Cassian, you gave him a slight smile before muttering, “Thank you. I’m sorry for dumping that on you, but please promise me you won’t tell anyone. Please.”
“Of course y/n, and don’t apologize, if it makes you feel better, it helped to take my mind off of Nesta and my own problems, which I desperately needed” he chuckled out.
With the smile still on your face, you linked arms with Cassian before saying, “Oh mother above it’s freezing, let’s get back inside before we turn into popsicles!”
He let out another laugh before the two of you made your way back into the house.
---------------------------------
You walked into the house and your sliver of happiness was crushed as you saw Az and Elain sitting at the table smiling and laughing quietly to themselves. Elain had her sketchbook out, showing Az her plans for the garden.
Your distraught had been clear to anyone who saw your face, and you were too tired to realize you weren’t able to hide it fast enough. Not being able to view the scene anymore, you quickly got up, muttered happy solstice, and grabbed your coat and purse before heading out the door to your apartment.
While walking home, you were consumed by your thoughts. You hated the pangs of jealousy that coursed through you. You often found yourself jealous of her soft spokenness and kindness. You also found yourself jealous of her effortless beauty. It was something that kept you up at night. She was so likeable and easily approachable, something you wished you were.
You were so drowned in your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed a male following you till it was too late. One of his hands clamped on your mouth while the other grabbed your waist and pushed you into the nearest alleyway.
The male pulled out a knife and your tears started to fall. You were terrified about what he would do to you. This could be the last time you would have seen your family. You were struggling and kicking against him but it was no use. Your senses were groggy from the alcohol and drowsiness.
You had been so stupid to walk home alone at 2 in the morning. No matter how angry you were, you should’ve just stayed at the town house.
Before you could realize what was happening, you felt a sharp pain shoot through your side.
The sound of a clatter.
Receding footsteps.
A crimson stain blooming.
Your body crumpled to the ground and your vision started blacked out. This was it. Nobody could hear you and nobody could save you.
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Rec List Request
A personalised list for @jammy-boy 🥰 could be of interest to others, so enjoy!
Basic requirements:
- just finished and loved SOTUS
- is Arthur/Merlin trash
- loves a twist or reversal of classic “power-dynamic”
- loves angst with happy ending
______________________________
Theory of Love
Film student Third (Gun) has been secretly in love with his best friend Khai (Off) for three years, but Khai is straight, a massive player, and a total arsehole if we’re being honest. This starts painful, but then they start playing around with tropes and expectations and then it changes POV which just HITS so hard and completely changes your whole perception. You know the movie Flipped? It references that, and then does the flip - so good.
Knowing the level of pining, pain and angst that you love (plus your background in film studies) I feel like this is required viewing. Get out the tissues. But also, it’s still really funny and cute/dumb (cause gmmtv) and the production was excellent. Also, Off/Gun are PEAK natural chemistry and Gun is such an incredible actor that watching him cry or yell at someone is still preferable to other actors being happy.
Watch on YouTube HERE
He’s Coming To Me
Precious baby boi Singto plays Med, a ghost, who is is stuck in limbo for 20 years - until he meets a boy who can see him, Thun (my baby boi Ohm) who promises to help him figure out his unfinished business and cross over. And then they were roommates! And then they start falling in love and it’s ANGSTY because they know Med will have to leave one day. Ouch, my heart.
You will enjoy the mixture of domestic fluff and tragic angst in this. But don’t worry it has a happy ending (kind of, I think, from memory haha). Also, you will enjoy the fact that they can’t touch (cause, ghost) which is *chefs kiss* except for moments of heightened emotions when Thun’s powers become strong enough that he can touch Med (FUCK YES, THIS TROPE IS EVERYTHING)
After much whining from fans, they put it up on Youtube haha so watch HERE.
Until We Meet Again
ANNGST. RE.IN.CAR.NA.TION. ANGST. What else do you need to know?!?! Reincarnated soulmates trope?!!? HELLO!?!? It’s so beautiful. I’m still not over it. And yes it has a happy ending, it starts super sad, then ends up super fluffy and the romantic fluffy moments oh god it’s so romantic. I know you love like soft domestic food sharing etc - this show is ALL about the cooking.
The casting, the characterisation, the acting, the story, the music, even the friendship group and the side-couple, it’s perfection *chefs kiss* PERFECTION
Watch on youtube HERE
A Tale of A Thousand Stars
After the lovely volunteer teacher Torfun dies (RIP poor torfun) in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into selfish pretty rich boy Tian (played by the beautiful Mix). After learning of her selfless character, he feels guilt and shame for living (the angst is very real) and makes it his mission to complete her life’s wishes and follow in her footsteps.
As the new village volunteer teacher, he then falls in love with the very handsome and very shirtless chief Phupha (Earth), who lives to protect the trees, we stan an environmental man. Angst, fluff, complications, and many miscommunications ensue. I was tearing my hair out by the end of this show. Yes, it has a happy ending (eventually). Earth x Mix was a pairing we did not know we even wanted or needed until this show happened and now I cry every time I see a picture of them together. Every single time Phupha looks at Tian in this show I literally tear up. HE LOVES HIM SO MUUUUUCHHH *crying again*
Watch on youtube HERE
I Told Sunset About You
Childhood best-friends, turned enemies (for stupid kid reasons), to lovers. This is ANGSTY but so fucking beautiful it’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even class this as “BL” because it doesn’t have any of the standard tropes, and there’s no silly sound-effects or innuendo jokes. This is like genuine lgbt+ indie-film realness. You can honestly just watch it for the cinematography and the music. The AESTHETIC of this show is what truly makes it special. The symbolism, the colours, this show said CINEMA. And the sexual tension is absolutely WILD. You will live for the angst (with a happy ending). And no, do not bother watching season 2, it’s perfect as a stand-alone mini-series. (I’m still upset).
Watch HERE
and now for some stand-out non-Thai series...
Where Your Eyes Linger
Korea has gotten on the BL train, and has now made a whole bunch of viki mini-series that are all cute but this one is right up your alley. This is VERY merthur. It’s literally servant/master, bodyguard/prince trope. But, I thought the characterisation was nicely thought out and wasn’t what I was expecting. The tension is palpable, the angst is juicy, and the soft kdrama vibes are cheesy and wonderful. Angst with a happy ending (of course).
Watch on VIKI
HIStory 3: Trapped
So the Taiwanese HIStory series has been around forever, and I love the whole series (History 2: Crossing The Line is my all time fav). But for youuuu, I think the most appropriate is Trapped. Police detective single-mindedly obsessed with a gang leader? Yes please. But whatever power-dynamic expectations you would have of a police/criminal couple are twisted and warped immediately! This series is so endearing, it’s mostly comedy/action, and whilst it has plenty of angst, mostly it’s just CUTE as fuck. Also the side couple are adorable too!
The whole History series is on Viki now yay!
The Untamed
Look, I KNOW 50 episodes of plot-heavy chinese historical fantasy is a lot. But there’s a reason this show was soooo popular. It only took me like 3 attempts and a whole ass “guide” pdf to figure out what the fuck was happening in the first ep cause its non-linear. But, if you are in the right mood (ie; sick, or in lockdown) and need something to get completely LOST in for like a week, then watch this haha. I know you couldn’t make it through Guardian, but maybe this one will hit the spot.
This has all the angsty character tropes you live for. And cause it’s censored, there’s no actual romance, so instead it’s just the best kind of UST, character driven, emotional soulmate angst. To summarise: Wei Wuxian is; adopted, a trouble-maker, impetuous, head-strong, fun-loving, has a martyr complex and wants to save everyone. Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is; lawful good to a fault, stoic, shy, and has a martyr complex about saving Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian ONLY. Now throw them into the middle of supernatural / political turmoil and see what happens. Well I’ll tell you what happens, Wei Wuxian becomes the “villain”, gets killed, and Lan Zhan spends 16 years looking for him. FUCKING KILL ME OKAY. (No, that’s not a spoiler it happens in the first episode haha)
Do NOT watch on Netflix the subs are trash. Watch on Youtube or Viki
~ ~ ~
This list may seem long but I was VERY reserved in my selection okay you have no idea how tiny this tip of the iceberg is 😂
Also, knowing your love of no-touching, tension, and angst. I would also briefly draw your attention so School 2013 in my bromance list which is the single most angsty show about friendship ever made.
Enjoy!
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Hold On - Jason Todd x Batgirl!Reader [PART 3]
What this includes: Violence, a combo of angst and fluff, and just to be on the safe side I’d say language.
Word count: 3.1k
A/N😋: I am so glad it’s finally finished, now it won’t be sitting in my drafts staring at me all day. Also forgive me for any mistakes, half of it is written at 3 AM
Part 1 , Part 2
•°•°•°•°
“This is it”, you breathed out, stopping your bike near a bush making sure that place was obscure enough. You placed the helmet on the handle and hopped off the bike. After taking a few steps forward and scouting the area, you clicked your comms back on.
“O care to give me the layout of what I am getting myself into, ‘cause we all know the last time didn’t go so well”
“Nightwing said you might call me for backup and now I owe him 20 uggh! Anyways onto the problem at hand, I’m picking up a few heat signatures from the basement area and the schematics of the building indicate a vent on the other side which might help you get in.”
“Is there anything else I should know?”
There was no reply on the other end and you assumed she was looking into it. To your bad luck, it was far from it. You heard an all too familiar grunt and mentally cursed yourself for forgetting that it was an open line.
“(Y/N), I thought I made myself clear”, Bruce’s modulated voice came through which low-key made you want to strangle him with your bare hands.
“Oh come on B! Didn’t Alfred teach you that listening in on other people’s conversations is bad manners”
“We are 10 minutes out you will not be going in till we get there”
‘Like Hell I won’t’
“Hello? B? Your voice is breaking up. I can’t hear you! there is some interference in the signal. Batman?”
“Don’t- ” you clicked the comms off before he could finish his sentence and breathed a sigh of relief. ”Note to self after what you just did, avoid showing your face to anyone in the fam for at least a week.”
Snooping around, you came across the vent Babs told you about and you smirked to yourself, “Bless those idiots who decided to make an excess amount of vents throughout Gotham, plus no dumbass to shoot open the lock on any door, huh I’d say it’s going pretty good for me.”
After going through a very, very dusty vent, you silently dropped down to floor behind a goon and cleared your throat to draw his attention. As soon as he turned around, his jaw was met with your right hook, making him plummet to the ground. Grabbing him by the collar you inched closer to his face, which was yet again fully covered by a white mask.
“Alright no-face, tell me where Pyg is right now”, you made use of your deep modulated voice, making the man dart his eyes towards the far right corner of the room. You knew what that meant and without wasting any more time, you knocked him out and scurried over, finding a heavy door at the end. Somehow managing to push open the door, you were faced with a circular stairwell leading down.
“Well Oracle did say she got heat signatures down in the basement.”, you sighed and started taking calculated steps, making sure to check for any traps. ‘Why keep only one person to guard your supersecret creep-house? Either Lazlo is way too overconfident or way too crazy... Probably both.’, you thought, wheels turning in your head, hoping to make sense of the situation. As you went down, you could catch a faint sound of music. ‘Is that Opera?! Well at least it fits his M.O.’
The end of the stairwell opened into a large room. You hid behind one of wooden crates as your mind swiftly accessed the grim ambience; Pyg was sharpening his knife swaying along with opera music playing in the background but Jason was nowhere to be found. Your breath hitched and your blood ran cold, it felt as if the world around you was spinning.
‘What if... what if it’s too late’ Crouching down on the ground with your back to the crate your took in several deep breaths to calm your racing heart. You couldn’t think like that, not when you’re so close. You wiped the stray tear which escaped the tightness of your cowl and had trailed down your cheek. You tried to focus instead of jumping to conclusions.
You frowned upon noticing something odd on the wall in front of you, placing your palms on it, you gave it a slight push. To your surprise it paved way for an attached corridor which clearly didn’t come up in the schematics Oracle told you about. You slipped into the corridor, making sure that nobody saw you. Your feet froze for a slight second on the sight you were met with; cages like prison cells lined up in a row with people inside of them.
“The people who went missing”, you whispered to yourself, still reeling in the shock of it all. Upon hearing a familiar groan you sprinted across the pathway to the source, eyes scanning every inch of the person you found, the person you were here to rescue. You fumbled with the lock for a while, muttering curses under your breath until it clicked open. You dashed to his side and took a batarang out to cut the binds he was in.
“Jay if you die on me again, I swear I will kill you.”
“Been there, done that princess and honestly not a fan of it”, Jason croaked out, his reply came out weaker and voice barely above a whisper. It made your heart clench in a way it hasn’t in a long, long time. You lifted your head up, you gave him a soft smile, gently brushing off the matted hair on his forehead,
“Jason I..”
‘Just tell him you love him you coward, It’s really not that hard’
“Jason I’m glad you’re okay”, you blurted out in way which was far from normal but he seemed way too tired to noticed.
‘COWARD’
“How did you get free?”, he inquired, thankfully interrupting your internal yelling.
“I didn’t? I literally just walked in here to get you out.”
“But I thought-”, Jason looked utterly confused as he rubbed his wrists to ease the pain caused by the rope.
“Well long story short. You got captured. I was saved by Harley and Ivy, had a nice chat with them, and then I might have been responsible for Batman’s high blood pressure, and then I emotionally blackmailed Nightwing into giving me your location and then here I am”
“Wha...Yeah I will just pretend I totally understand whatever the hell you just said.”, Jason sighed, he tried to stand up but his feet wobbled and if it wasn’t for you catching him on time h would’ve staggered to the ground.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mmhmm”, he hummed lightly leaning his weight on you. “Just a little dizzy, probably from the dehydration, It could also be because of the blood loss from the stab wound I got”
“The WHAT?!”, you looked at him like he was crazy.
“Oh yeah I think I kinda forgot to tell you that the creepy dude tried to cut me open but my armor got in the way so he stabbed me instead and went away saying he had to sharpen his knife or something like that”, he started to slur and you knew you had to get him back to the cave as quickly as possible. You helped him get up on his feet, slinging one of his arms over your shoulders and wrapping one of your arms around his waist.
“Oh my God! Jay, you don’t just bring this sort of thing up in casual conversation!”, you shook your head and started taking small steps with him towards the way you came from. Suddenly a loud crash was heard followed by a couple of screams making the both of you share a nervous glance.
“What was that?”
“Only one way to find out”, you said as you walked through the door back into the large room.
It was pure chaos, more like a free-for-all. Nightwing jogged up to you.
“We did say we were 10 minutes out didn’t we?”, he gave you a bright smile and swung Jason’s free arm over his shoulder to help you support him better.
“Good, now since you are here, hold him”, you shifted Jason’s weight towards Dick.
“Hey-”
“Don’t even”, he glared daggers at his elder brother, “What are you even doing? I feel like a baby being passed around”
You ignored Jason’s whining in the background and fixed your gaze on the one person in the room who would soon face your wrath. The rest had already cleared up the goons and Pyg was the only one left. You narrowed your eyes and cracked your knuckles, making your way over to him.
By the time you reached Pyg he was already backing away from Batman and one murderous looking Robin, turning around he tried to make a run for it but was ultimately met with your fist, a sickening crack was heard and no one was quite sure whether it was from his mask, his jaw or both. Pyg was out cold and you shrugged at the duo in front of you while Dick and Jason made their way over.
“Remind me never to get on her bad side ever again.”, Jason whispered as both the boys looked completely terrified of you. You walked over to Bruce and held out your hand. He didn’t seem to catch the drift, for being the world’s greatest detective, he was quite dumb sometimes.
“The keys to the batmobile, unless you want Mr. surprise-I-got-stabbed over here to bleed out.”
After placing Jason into the passenger seat you hopped into the driving one.
“Also there are people in the back, you know, the missing ones, so good luck with the clean up I guess.”, you called out before before closing the hood of the batmobile.
You were on the road heading straight for the cave when you realized Jason wasn’t answering your questions anymore.
“Jason?”, you stole a glance at him and he was as pale as a ghost, “Shit!”, you yelled as you jammed your foot on the accelerator.
•°•°
Jason woke up to the dull beeping of multiple monitors and by the looks of the place, he concluded he was in fact in the batcave. As he regained some control over his senses, he saw you sitting on a chair beside his bed. You were sound asleep but he could see worry etched on your face even in your slumber. Looking at you, Jason wished he had the courage to say what his heart felt instead he just went ahead taking your hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. You stirred awake at that.
“Hey! You’re up!”, you stood up abruptly and hugged him tightly. To him it felt as if you were actually afraid of what might happen if you let go of him.
“I told you I don’t do dying anymore. It sucks.”
You finally pulled away from him, a smile tugging at your lips. Jason glanced at your hand, taking it in his once again, he ran his thumb over your bruised knuckles.
“I knew you had a mean right hook, guess I just forgot how mean”, Jason said smirking at you. You didn’t pull away from him as he had expected in his head instead you just scoffed at the statement.
“The next time you forget that, allow me to give you a reminder by demonstration Bird-Brain”, you called him by the name you often used back then. At first it was to annoy your very annoying best friend but then it stuck around but hadn’t used that nickname ever since he came back. You both realized that. A silence fell over the once playful conversation, his eyes found the celling and yours found your lap. After a while you cleared you throat to get his attention and he looked at you, his expressions were borderline unreadable.
“Jason I-I should go now, but don't worry I’ll get Alfred back here”, You got up and moved towards the door of the med-bay, scrunching your eyes shut you released a shaky breath.
‘It’s now or never (Y/N)’
“Jason when you get better, there is this place I have been meaning to take you to, with me of course.”
“Sure I’ll go”
“So tomorrow sounds good?”
“Tomorrow sounds good”, he repeated after you breaking into a grin. Your cheeks flushed and you had to take a sharp turn to hide the blush on your face. You mentally smacked yourself for behaving like a teen asking her crush out on a date for the first time.
•°•°
The next night Jason met you on the roof of the Wayne tower.
“Please tell me this isn’t the place you wanted to see with me”, he chuckled behind you and you turned around to give him a quick hug.
“It’s not that bad of a place, plus I can throw you off here too if you get on my nerves”, you laughed at his faux scandalised face.
“You wound me”
“In case you forgot you are already wounded, drama queen, plus its your lucky day, this is not where we will be spending our evening. Just follow me and don’t get lost on the way”, you winked and jumped off the edge, him following the suit.
When you both reached the place you had in mind, the place Jason cherished when he was Robin, the expression on his face was priceless. It was like a mixture of awe and surprise with a hint of sadness.
“How did you find out about this?”, Jason inquired after a while of reminiscing.
“Gee how indeed, ‘cause it cannot be the fact that I am detective who’s life is influenced by at least a dozen detectives and it’s most definitely not the fact that for me, you aren’t that difficult to figure out”
“Touché”
Jason chuckled at your usual playful sarcasm, his eyes were twinkling with something which felt more than just momental adoration and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile of your own. You made your way over to him, looking at the visible skyline for a brief moment, Jason watched as you sat down on the ledge with your legs dangling off, patting the space beside you gestured him to join you.
“I have a feeling we’re gonna be here for a while, so might as well sit down and get comfortable”, you shrugged as he nodded and sat down beside you, placing his elbow on his bent knee. You both enjoyed the few minutes of comfortable silence, watching cars pass by below and the moon lit starry sky above.
“I am starting to see why you liked it here”
“Yeah...”
“Alfred told me”
“Huh?”, Jason looked at you dumbfounded, trying to process your words.
“After you...were gone, Alfred told me, he told me that this was your happy place, though I still can’t believe you had a favorite gargoyle”, stifling a laugh you somehow managed to continue, “Anyway so as I saying, ever since I found out about it, I used to come here every night when I got free from patrol, come to think of it I still do, sometimes”
You could feel his heavy gaze boring into you making you immediately regret bringing up this conversation.
“Why?”, he finally inquired. You didn’t know whether to feel relived or be tense, but it was now or never, releasing a shallow breath you glanced at him, words flowing out on their own accord.
“Even back then I knew everyone dies at some point and all we can do is try and find some meaning in it, in the memories they leave behind and I guess me wanting to be here, it was a part of me trying to do that and it made me feel somewhat connected to you so I kept doing it; Coming here, spending any time I could spare and leaving before the crack of dawn and before I knew it, it had become a habit.”
“So you did miss me”, he gave you a sad smile and wrapped his hand around your shoulder, giving you a light squeeze.
“Of course I did you dumbass, I was best friend.”, you gave him a nudge and leaned your cheek on his chest, sighing deeply.
“The reason I avoided you after you came back was because I was scared”, you whispered, hoping it would sound less real that way. Jason pulled back a bit to take in your features and you could hear the strain in his voice, a hint of sadness in it.
“Scared of me?”
“Jason I wasn’t scared of you, I can never be, I was scared for you. I was afraid of losing you again. Every time you come back I lose you all over again and I am honestly tired of it and I thought that maybe if I kept my distance I--”
“Won’t get hurt again?”
“Yeah, something like that”
A moment passed where no one spoke anything, both of you running the scenarios of what might happen next in your brains. An idea clicked in your head and you abruptly got to your feet startling Jason in the process. Offering him your hand and a sheepish smile, you got him to his feet.
“I am tired of being scared Jason. I want this. I want us and for that I am willing to take a chance, are you?”, he stepped closer to you, his scent invading your senses.
“For you (Y/N), anything. You should know that by now, plus I feel the same way, I have for a while now”, Jason breathed out as he pulled you in for a deep kiss leaving you dizzy for a while after you pulled away for air. Placing your foreheads together, you found yourselves grinning like idiots yet again in the two successive nights. Jason’s stomach growled, sending you into a fit of laughter.
“Hungry?”
“You really gotta ask?”, raising an eyebrow, he tried to look offended but ultimately melted against you as you pressed your lips on his for a brief moment.
“I know a place”, you murmured, lips brushing against his and before he could register what was happening you already had a grapnel gun in your hands, smirking as you jumped off the ledge.
“Last one there is a rotten egg hoodie!!”
“Hey! But I don’t even know where it is!”
“Not my fault Bird-Brain!”
Jason jumped on after you, smiling to himself. Both of you were thinking the same thing ‘maybe this was finally the start of a new chapter; something new, something scary and something beautiful altogether’
°•°•°•°•
Tags: @ladyperceval
#jason todd reader insert#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd angst#red hood reader insert#red hood imagine#red hood imagines#red hood angst#jason todd fluff#red hood x reader#jason todd imagines#jason todd x batgirl!reader#red hood x batgirl!reader#red hood x y/n#jason todd x y/n#red hood fluff#angst with a hopeful ending#red hood x you#jason todd x you#jason todd#red hood#batfamily#batfam#batman#robin#nightwing
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Fic rec list!!! (part 2)
Anon said I should make a rec list and I really spent an hour and a half going off so here’s part 2!!
i’m on fire (over you) by rocketshiptospace on ao3 - oneshot - willex - soft willex. need I say more?
Alex reaches up his hand to touch Willie’s cheek, and Willie leans into it almost instinctively. Their faces are a lot closer than Alex had initially thought, and suddenly he feels himself pitching forward, pulling Willie towards him, their mouths only inches apart-
There’s a plop somewhere to their left. “Guys! You gotta hear this song I just wrote, it’s insane, wait let me-“ Luke, who has just poofed into the room, looks at Willie and Alex as they hastily shuffle apart. “Am I interrupting something?”
“NO!” Alex says, way too loud, at the same time Willie says, “What, no, nothing.”
Or, the five times Alex wants to kiss Willie and the one time he finally does.
i got your picture, i’m coming with you by coldswaters on ao3 - oneshot - willex - more soft willex. I have so much willex fluff y’all don’t understand
Willie loved drawing Alex. Whether it was Alex playing the drums or Alex writing a song with Luke or Alex doing literally anything, Willie adored drawing Alex.
or
5 times other people saw Willie's drawings of Alex and one time Alex did.
i’ll keep us together (whatever it takes) by @sunsetcurbed - oneshot - willex - angst. much angst. but I love it so much (also happy ending)
“Willie,” Julie’s voice sounds.
“Hey, Julie,” Willie greets. “I—uh—“
“Can Alex not see you?” she whispers.
Okay, so… right. Right. This is a thing.
(or: alex has changed, and he's all but taken away from willie. willie doesn't settle for that.)
how fast the night changes by harleyhearts on ao3 - oneshot - willex - extremely iconic and hilarious, 10/10 do recommend
"I think it's brilliant." Reggie tells him.
"Brilliant?" Alex deadpans, "You think asking Domino's to send your cutest delivery guy is brilliant?"
written in the sand (crashing like waves) by differentsnowflake on ao3
Luke rests a hand on his shoulder.
"Dude, you have to calm down. We're here to have a good time, right? Just the six of us, two weeks at the sea, free food and the Caribbean. Honestly, I don't get how you aren't excited. I mean, look at Reggie. He's excited."
Reggie nods effusively, licking his ice cream. "I am."
Alex knows he should be thankful and excited and everything that his friends are, but there's this anxiety nagging at the back of his head, an insect-like buzzing that tells him that a lot of things could go wrong. He's seen Titanic a lof of times, okay? It's a good movie. And he knows how it ends.
Or, Alex falls in love with a cruise ship worker, and it's even more complicated than you think it is.
Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass, Home of Sexual by @a-tomb-with-a-view - complete - wholesome found family dynamics!! - this is such an iconic fic okay. I know ive said that several times but consider: one of the most iconic molina found family fics
“Alex,” Reggie made a beeline straight for him as soon as he poofed into the studio, “you know how much you love me?”
Alex looked up from where he’d been watching vine compilations on Julie’s laptop. “What do you want?”
Reggie sat down next to him, paused, then started squirming about until he was half laid across Alex, smiling goofily up at him. “So remember how you’re a really great baker?”
the inherent homosexualities of a bowling alley by SapphireAmethystPatch on ao3
The last thing Carrie Wilson wants is to get a job like the other, poorer kids at school, but her father insists. Now, after the peculiar hauntings of a local forgotten bowling alley, work is the highlight of Carrie's week.
Or, Alex and Willie have weekly dates at the bowling alley.
hot dog (romantic) by @pawprinterfanfic - oneshot - willex - okay tbh I would put all of Essie’s works on here bc she’s amazing but this list is already super long so I can only put my absolute favourites. so here have her awesome fluffy willex reunion. also here’s her ao3.
Alex didn't cross over. He survived. And now it's time to find Willie.
or: another willex reunion
#Jesus I might've gone a lil overboard again so stay tuned for part t h r e e rip my grades lmao#fic recs#julie and the phantoms#jatp#julie molina#alex mercer#luke patterson#reggie peters#willie wilbur williamson#flynn nolastname#carrie wilson#willex#juke
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“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 9 - [Reid x Reader]
previous chapter // series index // next chapter
Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid is one of the most brilliant men in the entire world...but even geniuses can be dumbasses. Once he realizes he’s made the biggest mistake of his life, the next step is getting Reader to forgive him.
Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader
Rating: Mature
Category: Angst. but then the fluff we all need.
Content Warning: Talk of drug addiction, mentions of injuries, angst.
Word Count: 9.4k for Chapter 9
A/n: I’m sorry I didn’t get this out as quickly as I wanted; I know I broke your hearts in chapter 8. So, please let me and Dr. Reid put them back together. Thank you for sticking with me. 💖 Chapter 10 returns to the smut we all signed up for.
-- Chapter 9 - “You know why.” --
Out of all the compliments I've received in my life, "you're such a strong person" is the one I have gotten the most often.
I was “so strong” for busting my ass through college with dreams of going to the FBI.
My friends told me I was “so strong” when I gave myself a few days to lay around and cry about my ex before I bottled it all up and moved forward.
Everyone said I was just “so strong” for joining the FBI and finishing in the top of my class at the academy.
And when I told everyone I was a profiler that hunted the most dangerous monsters on the planet? I was both “so strong, so brave.”
It’s a nice compliment to receive, but I have never really agreed with it. I’ve never really felt strong. I've always felt resilient. The two words have always felt very different to me. It took enormous amounts of strength to go to college, join the FBI, and then become a member of one of the most prestigious units; but eventually, that strength fades, or it just tires out. Resilience came when the strength was gone when the fight had left your body, but you couldn’t give in, you would endure this pain and any pain after it…because that’s just who you are.
It didn’t take strength to leave the hospital 3 days after Spencer Reid broke my heart. It didn’t take strength to go back to the same apartment where I could feel echoes of him in every room. It didn’t even take strength to not break down and cry.
I kept going because I had to. Because I was resilient.
--
“You sure you got everything you need, mama?” Morgan had been annoyingly thorough in his duties today; Garcia had assigned him to be the person who brought me home and got me settled.
I offered him a wan smile. “I’m fine, Derek. It’s just a gunshot wound. I’m actually surprised how well I’m feeling.” Not good. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel ‘good’ again.
He didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure? Because the last thing I need is Garcia to throw one of her damn shoes at me again. Those things are heavy, y/n.”
I chuckled at him. “Well, you won’t get maimed on my account. I’m really okay.”
Morgan regarded me from his position by the door, his eyes ran over everything from the exhaustion on my face to my arm that was in a sling; he took note of everything before he sighed heavily. “I know it’s not my place to say but…”
“Then don’t say it, Derek.” I brought my gaze up to his, my eyes were pleading. “Please, just don’t say it.”
Reluctantly he nodded. “You call any of us if you need anything.”
I nodded. Because I would call any of them if I needed anything…any of them except the one person I really wished I could call.
--
My life went on like that for a time. On my first night home, Rossi had flowers delivered. On my second night home, JJ came by to bring me groceries. On my third night home Emily came by and helped me wash my hair in the sink because I couldn’t lift my arm yet. On my fourth night home Garcia came over with a stack of action movies and popcorn. I didn’t ask why she brought mindless action movies; I knew why, and I was grateful.
On my fifth day home, the team left on a case. The in-person visits slowed down a lot after that, much to my relief. I loved them all but they're profilers and I was so tired of pretending to be strong when the only reason I was still standing was because I was too fucking stubborn to fall down.
But still, Garcia would schedule the odd visitor every now and then to come to check on me; usually either her, JJ, or Emily. No one ever brought up Reid, and I was very careful not to ask about him. I don't know what they knew and what they didn't…but I just couldn’t talk about it.
I was cleared to go back to work on the second Tuesday after my injury, but I would still be on desk duty until I was 4 weeks out. I had sent Hotch an e-mail on that second Tuesday morning and requested to use some personal time, just until the end of the following week.
His response was, “Whatever you need.”
He didn't respond to the e-mail I sent yesterday. The e-mail I wasn't even sure I wanted to send but knew I had to. I had submitted a hardship transfer request.
“Then maybe you should reevaluate your place in this team,” Reid had said to me. Maybe he was right. I had thought my home was with the family inside the BAU…but I had also thought Spencer Reid wanted my heart.
“But I think your judgment has been compromised.” Maybe my judgment was never that good to begin with.
--
Twenty-four days after I was shot and two after I requested my transfer there was a knock on my door. Scheduled visits weren’t a thing anymore. Only Garcia had been coming by; Emily and JJ would send me texts, and Morgan drove me to physical therapy a few times but that was it. So, I was very surprised when I heard a sharp knock at my door at 2 pm that Friday afternoon.
I opened the door only to find the last face I expected to see.
“Hotch,” I said, my brows drawing together.
He just gave me a rare smile. “Not who you were expecting?”
“It’s not that you’re not who I was expecting,” I began carefully. “It’s just that…when I think of cheerful visitors coming to surround me with rainbows and sunshine…I don’t think of you, boss man.”
He scoffed, which I had learned was his version of a chuckle. “Garcia is busy. So, can I come in?”
I waved my arm, offering him inside.
He surveyed my apartment; he’d never been here. None of the team had ever been here before- Stop. Don’t think about it.
“How have you been?”
I gave him a very sour look. “Peachy with a side of keen, Hotch. But that’s not why you’re here.”
He didn’t look abashed in the slightest. “You’re right. That’s not why I’m here.”
We both sat on my couch; I kept my gaze on my hands, but I felt his eyes on me.
“Why are you requesting a hardship transfer?”
I was prepared for this question. “Because there is a personal issue within my team that affects me; I can no longer be an effective agent of the FBI in this unit.”
Hotch gave me an almost smile. “That’s a very political answer.”
“It’s the truth.”
“It might be.” He sounded so thoughtful I turned to look at him. We were both profilers, but Hotch was in charge for a reason; that man saw things in ways I don’t think any of us did. “The reason might also be that Reid is a dumb ass.”
I was in no way prepared for that statement to come out of my boss’s mouth. A laugh, the first real laugh I had had in almost 25 days, burst out of me before I could clap my hand over my mouth.
He did smile then. It was a soft, sad smile. “I figured that’s what it was.”
“He’s a genius, Hotch.”
“And he’s also proof geniuses can be dumbasses.”
That one got a small chuckle out of me. “I didn’t know you were funny.”
“I have my moments,” he said dryly.
I took a deep breath, my eyes moving around my apartment, searching for something to focus on. “I don’t know what you know, I don’t know what any of you know…but I can’t stay. Not like this.”
The older man considered me for a moment, planning out his next words. I knew that the team knew that Reid and I had been…something. I hadn’t asked what they knew; I couldn’t ask.
Hotch let out a long sigh, his shoulders dropping before he spoke again. "Hayley had an affair."
…I have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that. “I’m sorry, Hotch.”
He just nodded, his gaze sort of far off. “The team was working a case in Milwaukee; it was right before you joined. I was considering transferring; it was right before Gideon left. I knew it, she knew I knew it. I think that was sort of the beginning of the end for us.”
I just stared at him. Hotch didn’t talk about personal things.
He continued on. “It was never really brought up again until the divorce. You think divorce will end your fights…it never works out that way.” Hotch let out another sigh. “Anyway, I think about this one specific fight a lot now. I just…She was so fucking cruel, y/l/n. She said things she knew would hurt me.”
You can’t call a dead woman a cunt, y/n. You just can’t.
“I think about it so much now because I know she lashed out because I hurt her and she was scared. I picked my job over her and Jack. And she’s right…I did.”
Enlightenment finally dawned on me.
“Hotch, I see where you’re going but it’s different,” I stressed. “Protecting the team is my job. I protected a member of my team.”
He just nodded, his eyes never leaving my face. “You also jumped in front of a bullet for a man who is in love with you, who now thinks it’s his fault you got hurt.”
“He is not in love with me!” I interrupted, not that Hotch seemed to care.
“And you also told him you loved him, for what I suspect was the first time, while we all thought you were dying.”
Hold the fuck up. “You heard me? Spencer heard me?!”
Hotch nodded his head solemnly. “Rossi figured he hadn’t told you. He was inconsolable on the way to the hospital. He rode with you in the ambulance. Morgan had to restrain him when you were taken into surgery.” I felt my lungs seize, there was no more air in the room. “His legs gave out from under him when the doctor told us you made it. He was in your room right before you woke up. He ran out when your heart rate spiked.”
That…that can’t be right. “I…I don’t know what happened while I was under, but you weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me, Aaron.”
“You’re right,” he said softly. “I wasn’t, but I have been around him every day since you were injured. I’ve known him for years, y/n. He’s hurting…because he’s a dumbass.”
I tried to focus on Hotch’s words, I really did. But one thing kept playing over and over in my head. That asshole heard me. He lied to me.
--
-- Spencer POV –
“Because I love you.”
“Because I love you.”
“Because I love you.”
The worst thing about having an eidetic memory is that I never forgot anything. I remember the crushing disappointment I felt on my 8th birthday when my dad didn’t call. I remember how gutted I felt when I found Gideon’s letter in his cabin. I remember the self-loathing I felt when Emily was beaten by a deranged cult leader at Liberty Ranch because she didn’t think I could handle it.
I could remember every single crushing moment of my life with absolute clarity, including the moment when I told y/n I didn’t love her. I could see every detail of her face in that moment whenever I closed my eyes. How pain covered her face for just a moment before it went blank.
Her face in that moment was all I saw when I was awake, but what I saw at night may have been worse. I saw her happy. I saw her laughing at some joke Morgan made. I saw her smiling at me while I explained the scientific impossibilities of the show we were watching on her couch. I saw how thoughtful she’d looked before she kissed me for the first time.
In the 24 days, 21 hours, and 16 minutes since I made the most painful decision of my life, I had regretted it and rethought it countless times. But then I remembered how her eyes fluttered closed that day, how her blood ran out of her body and down my arms, no matter how hard I pressed on the wound. I remembered how it felt to think I was going to lose her.
The members of my team were all furious with me for my decision; I even felt tension from Rossi and Hotch, though it was more subtle. Y/n hadn’t been with our team long, but she had already carved out a place in everyone’s heart…and she’d carved out all of my heart; now it was filled with almost nothing but her. At first, it was just Morgan who was pissed at me, then Emily started becoming frustrated, even JJ stopped inviting me over for dinner as much. They were all still my friends, but everything felt different.
I hadn't realized there was a giant problem until the last person I ever expected to be mad at me finally snapped. We were in the conference room discussing our last case when I had asked Garcia a question. Looking back, I can see it was a dumb question; Garcia cross-referenced everything and dug into people's lives before we even had a chance to ask. But even my stupid question hadn’t warranted her response.
“Garcia, do you know any of the victim’s extended families have any connections to one another? Even distantly.”
She had clicked her tongue against her teeth, her shoulders stiffening. “Of course I have, Reid. That’s a stupid question…but I guess we should expect stupid questions from you now. Since you’ve suddenly become an-“
“Garcia,” Hotch warned.
“Sorry, sir.” She let out a breath.
“Yes, Dr. Reid, I have checked and found no apparent connections.
She’d been avoiding me ever since.
I knew that I had made a mess of things, but the team just didn't understand. They'd only felt her warmth from afar; I'd actually got to be a part of it. They didn't know how her feet were always cold and how she'd shove them under my leg while we watched TV. They didn't know that she mumbled in her sleep sometimes, or when she was really stressed about a case, she'd grind her teeth. The pain I felt now was indescribable, but I couldn't live with losing her.
We’d gotten back home from a case earlier this morning, Hotch let us all go home around noon. Usually, he'd make us stay and finish our paperwork, but he said he had "something" he had to take care of.
Not being at work was bittersweet. Because work reminded me of her, but at least I could occupy my mind with other things; when I was home, she surrounded me. I couldn’t lay in my bed without imagining her beside me. The look on her face when she told me she was ready to be with me. For the first few days after I could still smell her shampoo on my pillow. That was long gone now.
It was just after 2 pm when there was a very loud knock on my door.
“Open up, dumbass!’
What is Morgan doing here? I got up from my couch to open my door. Morgan was in the same clothes he wore to work, he didn't look injured, but his jaw was set, his teeth clenched together. Uh oh.
“Why are you here?” I sighed. I already knew why he was here.
“I’m here,” he began, shoving his way into my apartment. “To see why you’re still being a dumbass.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. Maybe I am a dumbass.
“Morgan-“
“Nu-uh. You sit your little scrawny ass down and listen to me.”
I’m not that scrawny, I thought grumpily while I sat down.
He put his hands on his hips, coming to stand in front of me. “Reid, what are you doing man?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“Well, I’ll tell you what the fuck you’re doing, Pretty Boy. You know, we were all content to let you flounder along for a while longer. You’re smart, you’d figure it out. But that was before y/n submitted a request for a hardship transfer.”
My shoulders stiffened. I had told her to rethink her place on the team, but I didn’t mean leave it. “What? When?”
“I’m not sure when,” he replied. “Hotch is at her apartment now trying to talk her out of it.”
So that was his important business.
“Look, kid.” He came to sit beside me on the couch. “I know you’re scared. I know you almost lost her, and you couldn’t bear that. But you’re losing her now too, man!’
“It’s different, Morgan,” I protested.
“Yeah, it is different, because you don’t have to lose her! You didn’t see her when she came home from the hospital. She wasn’t even sad, Reid. She was numb. We all knew she had walls up before…but these new walls, man? They make the old ones look like nothing.”
I put my hands together, lacing my fingers tightly. “But-“
Morgan stood up. “No, Reid! No! No buts. I understand that you’re hurting, believe me. But did you ever stop to use that big ass brain of yours to think for a second that you’re hurting her too?!”
“I know I’m hurting her, Morgan,” I said hotly. “I know! But it’s better she’s hurt like this for a little while then die over me!”
“Oh, come on, kid! You can’t make that choice for her! That’s not how love works!” He let out a sigh. “You’re acting like a coward, Spencer. And that’s not the kind of man you are.”
It’s exactly the type of man I am. “Morgan, she’s…she’s everything to me. She’s the sun at the center of my universe. I can’t let her disappear.”
“Okay, okay,” Morgan nodded, considering me. “Now, I’m not a genius but I do know some stuff after hanging around your ass for all these years. The universe would fall apart without the sun. But…what happens if the sun dims?”
“What?” My heart refused to work when I processed his words.
“You heard me. What happens to the universe when the sun dims? It’s still there, but it’s nowhere near as bright anymore. Because she may be the center of your universe but she’s still a part of a lot of other people’s…I don’t know, galaxy or some shit.” Morgan flicked his hand around to gesture at nothing, like this somehow proved his point.
“Spencer. I know you’re scared. I get it. But you’re making the choice for her. You lied to her, man. You got her to let you in and then you fucking shut her out when you get scared! Do you think she wasn’t scared to let you in in the first place? She’s never going to be totally free of danger, Reid. That’s part of what makes her who she is; she is always going to put herself at risk to help people, we all are! It’s why we’re on the same fucking team!”
The impact of Morgan’s words was a blow to the gut. What if I wasn’t keeping her safe? What if I was putting her through this…because I was afraid? Did I push her away from me for her? Or did I-
“Oh my god. I’m a dumbass.”
Morgan threw his hands in the air before slapping them against his hips.
“I fucked up.”
Morgan opened his eyes very wide and tilted his head down in a universally recognized expression of “you think, dumbass?”.
“What do I do?”
“You apologize, Reid! You go over to her house and you beg for forgiveness.”
My palms were starting to sweat. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?”
Morgan shrugged. “Then at least you tried, man.”
“Will you give me a ride?”
His face split into a wide smile. “There’s the genius! Let’s go!”
--
-- Reader’s POV --
It was just after 4 pm when there was another sharp knock on my door. I picked up the remote to pause the TV show I wasn’t watching; I had just needed some background noise. With a huff, I pulled myself off the couch and started shuffling towards the door. Hotch hadn’t been gone long, so I just figured maybe he’d come back to impart more wisdom on me.
It wasn’t Hotch. My heart stuttered when I saw that mop of curly brown hair out of my door’s peephole.
He knocked again, more hesitantly than before. “Y/n,” he called. “I know I don’t have any right to ask. But…I need to talk to you.”
My eyebrows drew together in confusion. What could you possibly have to say to me?
I cleared my throat. “Is something wrong?”
I saw his head snap up; his eyes fixed on the peephole on my door. “Yes. Everything is wrong.”
Oh. “Are…are you alright?”
“No.” His answer was simple and firm. “I know I don’t deserve anything from you…but, please, y/n.”
Taking a deep breath, I cracked open my door. “What do you want, Reid?”
I only allowed a tiny sliver of my face to be seen through the door. “C-can I come in?”
“I…I don’t know,” I mumbled. You’re still everywhere. If I let you in now…how will you ever fade?
Reid just nodded. “I understand. I just…I owe you an apology. I owe you so many apologies.”
I swallowed; my throat suddenly coated in sandpaper. “Reid, I don’t…you don’t…”
His eyes never left mine; he was leaving the choice up to me. “I don’t have to come in. I’ll talk to you through your door. Or I can talk to you over the phone. I’ll send you letters if that is easier. Just…please say you’ll talk to me?”
Very, very slowly, I eased the door open. He was cautious when he walked in, his hands stuffed into his pants pockets. “You don’t have to-“
“Yes, I do,” he interrupted. “That day in my apartment… I asked you not to lie to me. And I’ve done nothing but lie to you for the past 24 days, 22 hours, and 30 minutes.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot.
“I already know you heard me, Reid.”
He just nodded. “That’s one of the things I lied about. But it’s not all. It’s not even close to all. I told you my feelings changed, and they didn’t. They haven’t. I still feel the exact same way that I always have. I’m so sorry I even let you think that I didn’t l-“
“Stop.” I wrapped my arms around my middle. “I-I can’t. You…you can’t say that.” I will break if you say that.
His hands came out of his pockets, his arms outstretched, palms facing me; like I was a wild animal he was trying not to startle. “I won’t, I won’t. I’m sorry. I won’t say it until you're ready to hear it if you're ever ready to hear it. But…you have to know why.”
My teeth dug into my bottom lip; my eyes averted from him. “Why what?”
“Why I…Y/n, I just…I thought that I was protecting you.”
My face fell into a frown. “Protecting me from what?”
He stuffed his hands back into his pockets. “From me.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he hurried on. “I know I contribute to the team in some ways, but I also know other people have to pick up my slack sometimes. I just…I know members of the team have gotten hurt protecting me before.” He swallowed, his eyes blinking rapidly. “I couldn’t let you get hurt trying to protect me too. I’m not worth it.”
I felt anger start to burn in my stomach. “You don’t get to make those sorts of choices for people, Reid.”
He nodded. “I know. I was wrong.” He squared his slim shoulders, pulling his hands out of his pockets to rest them at his sides. “I fucked up. I’ve made the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life. And I only know one way to fix mistakes this big.” He paused, his throat working when he swallowed. “In Narcotics Anonymous the hardest steps for a lot of people are steps 8 and 9. Step 8 is acknowledging that our actions have caused pain and we need to make amends. Step 9 is making those amends and making them in a way that won’t hurt anyone.”
Hands back in his pockets, he took a hesitant step towards me. “I promise, y/n, I will never hurt you again. This isn’t an excuse, but I was so…I was so scared. I thought that…I thought that your injury was my fault. And I thought if I distanced you from such a…a colossal fuck up like me that you’d be safer.”
My body started to shake, but I wouldn’t let any tears fall. I couldn’t. If the dam broke now, I don’t know that I’d be able to put it back in place.
“Y/n, I don’t deserve the opportunity to make amends to you. But…if you’ll let me, I’d like to try. You’re…you’re everything, y/n. Everything. I even lied before when I said you were sunshine and warmth. You’re so much more than that.”
I heard the tears in his voice, but I couldn’t look at him. I’d break if I looked at him.
“You’re the sun. You’re the center of my universe. And I thought I was keeping you safe, but…I didn’t give you the choice. I took your choice away from you when you’ve always given me a choice in everything.”
I moved my eyes upwards to look at the ceiling, crossing my arms over my chest, my hands rubbing over my upper arms. “I don’t-I don’t know what you want me to say, Reid.”
I heard his shoes on my floor; I felt the air shift in the room when he took a step closer to me. “Just…Just say you’ll…that you’ll at least wait before you push your transfer through. That you’ll let me try to fix this, even though I don’t deserve it.”
A humorless laugh left my throat. “I already told Hotch to hold my transfer request.”
His voice cracked when he spoke again. “You did? When?”
“He came by about an hour ago.” I finally, finally looked at him. I saw his glassy eyes, his wild hair, and the clear pain mixed with a spark of hope on his face. He wasn’t my boy, not anymore. But…goddamnit. “He said…He said you were being a dumbass.”
Reid laughed a bit at that. “That seems to be the general consensus.”
“He asked me to give it some time. To see if working with the team again would actually be a hardship. My first day back is Monday, and I’m cleared to go back on active duty Wednesday.”
He shifted, his hands coming up to push is hair out of his face. “So, you’ll be back on Monday?”
"That's the plan," I said softly. "But…Reid, I don't-I don't know if I can…"
“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just asking you to let me try to make amends for this.”
I brought my hand up to rub my forehead. “What is your goal here, Reid? What do you want?”
His face was as open as I’d ever seen it, his eyes were wide, and his lips were parted. “I want to go back to the moment you started to wake up in the hospital. I want to hold your hand and tell you how much I” he cut himself off, which I was grateful for. “And I want to be the one that drove you home. I want to be the one that helped you wash your hair. I want to be the one that sat on your couch and watched movies with you.” He sighed, his eyes shifting to the side. “But I can’t have any of that. Morgan came by my apartment around the same time Hotch was here…he told me that I was hurting the thing I was trying so hard to protect. And he said you were building a wall around yourself.
Dr. Spencer Reid brought those brown eyes back over to meet mine. “I want you to let me try to knock down that wall again.”
My voice was soft, I could feel my chin trembling, my nails were digging into my arms. “But why?”
For the first time since he entered my apartment, he smiled. It was small but overwhelmingly warm. “You know why.”
I felt something pierce my heart; it was small and sharp, both painful and soothing at the same time. “Reid…I…I don’t know if I can…I don’t know…”
“You don’t have to know,” the man said simply. “You just have to be willing to let me try.”
“But they’re just words, Reid. They’re just words. How am I supposed to believe that you won’t do this again the next time I get injured? Because I can handle being injured…but you gutted me.” I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, using the pain to help me focus. I couldn’t let the dam break.
“They’re not just words,” he whispered. “I’ll prove it, y/n. I promise.”
I took a very shaky breath, not making an attempt to hide my pain. “I gave you everything, every single part of me and you brushed me aside. You left me in agony when I needed you.”
My choked words lashed at him, but he just took it with a nod. “I know. I don’t deserve another chance. I have no right after what I’ve done. What I’m asking for isn’t fair…but I have to ask. Please?”
“Okay.”
“What?” His words were soft, but the smile that spread over his face was the brightest thing I had ever seen.
I huffed. “You heard me. Don’t push it.”
‘Okay.” He smiled at me again as he made his way around my body, heading for my door. I wrapped my arms tighter around myself like I could somehow physically hold myself together. I heard the lock turn and the door pull open; I heard his feet shuffle through the doorway…before he paused. “Thank you, y/n.” The door clicked shut softly, and I finally allowed myself to breathe.
I wasn’t strong, I really wasn’t. Because if I was strong, I wouldn’t have felt so fucking hopeful.
--
After my conversation with Hotch yesterday, and my surprise visit from Reid last night, I expected my Saturday to be fairly uneventful. Which is why I wasn’t expecting a knock on my door at 8 pm that night.
“Who the fuck is it now?” I muttered, sighing with exasperation.
I thought Hotch was the most unexpected person I would ever see at my door unannounced, but this one caught me more off guard for so. I opened the door to see the bright smiling face of a young man in a delivery uniform. “Y/n y/l/n?” He asked politely.
“…Yes?”
He handed me a plastic bag with styrofoam containers inside. “Here you go. The bill has already been taken care of. Have a good night, ma’am!”
He was already halfway down the hall before I realized what was happening. “Wait, I didn’t order anything,” I called.
"I know, ma'am," he turned, walking backward as he spoke. "The order was placed in the store. A man came by and ordered the food, left a note to put in the bag, and told me to leave before you had a chance to refuse it." He smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm sorry, he gave me a really good tip. Have a good night!"
Frowning, I shut my door and moved into my kitchen, setting the bag on the counter. Sure enough, there was a note on top of the container.
“I know it’s your favorite. S.R.”
The thing about Reid is he had the worst handwriting I had ever seen. Even if I hadn’t suspected this was from him and he hadn’t signed the note, the handwriting would have given it away.
I went into my living room and snatched my phone off the couch before I quickly fired off a text.
“Why did you have dinner delivered to my house?”
His response came a moment later. “You know why.”
--
On Sunday morning, I had one of my last physical therapy appointments. I hadn't sustained any permanent damage to my left shoulder from the bullet. The only real issue was the healing muscle and the artery that was nicked. Even though I was right-handed, it was important in my line of work that I did not lose any strength in my left arm. The physical therapist had made an exception to see me on the weekend since my first day back at work was tomorrow.
The thought of going back to work made me incredibly nervous. I wasn't sure how things would be different. Not only did I have to worry about my relationship with Reid, but I also had to worry about how it would affect the team. I knew they all cared about me…but Reid had been a part of their family much longer than I had. Hotch’s visit on Friday meant a lot to me; I don’t think I would have been able to come back to work without it.
Despite my nerves, after being home on my couch for almost a month, I was itching to get back to doing the work I loved. I had already passed my post-injury psychiatric evaluation, which was pointless anyway as the BAU wrote the questions, but now with this approval from the physical therapist, I would only be on desk duty for 2 days once I returned.
I was so caught up in thought when I got to my apartment that I almost missed the paper taped to the front of my door. It was an envelope that looked some sort of parchment. If the type of paper didn’t give away the sender, the messy way my name was written on the front certainly did.
Calm down, y/n, I thought, reaching up to pluck the note from the door. It’s just a piece of paper. I knew my fear was irrational but trusting him after everything that had happened was terrifying. Because despite my best instincts, I wanted to trust him.
Inside the envelope was a letter, it wasn’t written on standard paper; but, nothing about the man it was from was ever standard.
--
“Y/n,
Before my mother’s schizophrenia became as bad as it is now, she used to read to me all the time. She was a professor of 15th-century literature. My love of reading came from her. Her favorite author is Margery Kempe; and when I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you, one quote in particular from Kempe kept coming to mind.
‘Patience is more worthy than miracle-working’.
The fact that you’ve given me even the slightest chance to apologize to you is the closest thing to a miracle I’ve ever seen. It's not a gift I'm going to take lightly. I know this is so incredibly hard for you. I know tomorrow is going to be hard for you, but I don't want you to feel like you're being forced to do anything before you're ready. I want to make amends, or at least try to, but I don't want to cause you any more pain.
You were patient with me in the beginning of our relationship; you were so unbelievably kind and generous – I think those are the things that made me…feel how I do now. I just want you to know that I’m prepared to be patient too. I never expected you to forgive me, and on the off chance you did, I knew it wouldn’t come easily.
I’d wait for you forever, y/n.
I don’t want to go against your wishes, but I want you to know that I’m ready. I’m ready to tell you now and every moment after for the rest of my life. All you have to do is ask and I’ll never stop telling you what you mean to me.
- Spencer”
--
My hands shook as I refolded the letter, slipping it back inside the envelope. I was dialing his number before I was even fully aware of what I was doing.
“Hello?” His voice sounded slightly apprehensive, almost shy.
“I got your letter,” I said quietly.
“I-I…I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
I let out a sigh. “No, Reid. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
“You’ve not called me Spencer since…”
“I’m not there yet.” I closed my eyes when I said it; even now…I didn’t want to hurt him. I’m just not there yet.
I heard him shift around on the other end of the line. “I know. You don’t have to be. I just…I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”
“And send me dinner,” I added dryly. He laughed softly before I asked what I really wanted to know. “Reid…how have you been?” I ran my hand over my forehead. “I mean…before I was…before I was shot I know you were struggling with-“
“Ah,” he mumbled when the realization hit him. “It wasn’t easy…it hasn’t been easy. I went to a lot of meetings after you were…And I spent a lot of time on JJ’s couch trying to convince her and myself that I was doing the right thing by pushing you away.”
I flexed the fingers of my left hand, my posture shifting while he spoke. “But you haven’t…I didn’t make…”
“Y/n,” he said, his voice was so fucking gentle that it almost shattered me. “I haven’t. And even if I did, it wouldn’t have been your fault. No bad choice I make is ever anyone’s fault but my own. My demons are my own.”
I sighed. “I know, Reid, but I don’t want to be…I don’t want to make them worse.”
“You couldn’t,” he said firmly. “Whenever I did think about calling a dealer, doing anything I could to not feel the pain in my heart…I-I kept seeing your face. You looked so understanding when I told you about dilaudid. You made me feel proud of myself for the first time in a long time.”
I had to put my palm over the end of my phone. I didn’t want him to hear how my breathing had become uneven.
“Y/n, I’ll do anything to have you look at me like that again.”
"I don't need to ask why do I?" I asked lightly, in an attempt to defuse the tension.
He laughed. “No, I don’t think you do.”
I found myself smiling, grateful he couldn’t see me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Reid.”
--
When I arrived to work on Monday morning for my first official day back, I was apprehensive but hopeful. The world wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t as dark as it has been.
Right when I entered the bullpen, I saw something on my desk that made me pause. There in the center of my desk was a large iced coffee from my favorite cafe, the one near my house. No matter how early I got up, I never seemed to have time to stop there before work most days. So, the fact that a cup was there in the first place was cause for notice but that wasn’t the strangest part; the ice wasn’t melted. There wasn’t any condensation on the plastic cup.
I know I’m not a genius, but that can’t happen. Right?
“There she is!”
I turned to see Rossi making his way towards me, his arm's outstretched. He wrapped me in a tight hug, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“We’re happy to have you back, y/n.”
I smiled widely at him, meaning it when I said, “I’m happy to be back.” He gave my upper arm a squeeze before he started to walk away. “Hey, Rossi. Did you do this?” I asked, gesturing to the cup on my desk.
He just had a sly smile on his face. “I did not, kiddo.”
Of course, he didn't. After taking a deep breath, I turned to the desk across from mine. Reid was already sitting there scribbling away, doing a very good job of pretending he didn’t know I was already here. I marched over to him before I lost my nerve. “The ice wasn’t melted.”
He looked up at me, not the slightest bit surprised at my presence, a soft smile on his face. “Beg your pardon?”
“The ice. In my iced coffee. It wasn’t melted.” I waved my hand around in the air. I’m not crazy, am I? That couldn’t have just happened.
“That’s because I asked them not to put any ice in when they made it,” he said simply. “You don’t like it as much when it’s watered down after the ice melts some; so I just added the ice here.”
My heart started to beat faster. “Why would you do that?”
The smile on his face got bigger, his eyes seemed to soften somehow when he looked at me. “You know why,” he said simply.
I didn’t know what to say. So, with a tight nod at him, I turned and walked back to my desk.
The rest of my first day back went how I expected. When Morgan saw me, he gathered me up in a giant hug and spun around ignoring my demands to put me down. Garcia hugged me like she hadn’t seen me in years and brought me cupcakes. Emily and JJ took me to lunch. Hotch made me fill out forms. And Reid…well, whenever I turned to look at him, I found he was already looking at me.
--
The very next day when I showed up for work, I was suspicious. Every day since that Friday, Reid had done something. But when I arrived in the morning there was nothing on my desk. Nothing appeared out of place. Maybe it’s a fluke. Reid was already sitting at his desk, scrolling through his e-mail.
I knew what he had done the second I sat down. For as long as I had worked at this desk in the BAU bullpen, there was one wheel on my chair that was wonky. It never wanted to roll, and it always drove me insane. No matter what I tried the wheel never worked this well, and especially not this smoothly. Did he-?
When I looked over, he was already looking at me, that same soft smile on his face.
--
On my third day back at work there was nothing on my desk when I arrived, there was nothing anywhere. But I knew him, I knew he wasn’t done yet; there had to be something.
That something was on my desk when I got back from turning in my return to active duty forms to Hotch. There was a single sunflower in a vase sitting on my desk. I walked up to it and touched the petals softly. It was beautiful, but I was confused.
Walking over to his desk, I didn’t bother trying to hide the confusion or apprehension on my face. This time he wasn’t pretending to be doing something else; his eyes had been on me since the moment I walked out of Hotch’s office.
“It’s beautiful,” I began. “But I don’t understand the symbolism.”
He tilted back in his chair, looking up at me. “Sunflowers always want to be looking at the sun…and so do I.”
Because he thinks I’m the sun.
“But don’t sunflowers stop turning towards the sun when they get older?”
He just nodded. “They might, but I never will.”
I ran my tongue over my lips before I pulled both of them in between my teeth. I felt tears prick the corners of my eye. “Why?” I asked, my voice slightly thicker than normal.
Spencer stood up then; it looked like he would reach for me, but he quickly put his hands at his sides. “I’ll stop if it hurts you. Y/n, I promise to never hurt you again.” His words were earnest, his eyes were pleading. “But ‘why?’ You know why.”
I just nodded my head slightly, blowing out a shaky breath. “Thank you, it’s lovely.”
I don't know why Spencer said I was the sun because his smile at that moment was the brightest thing I'd ever seen. "Is it too much if I throw in a cheesy line, like, 'it's not as lovely as you?'"
“Brat,” I muttered, turning quickly so he wouldn’t see my smile.
That bright smile was still on his face when we all met in the conference room 20 minutes later. I saw Rossi clap him on the back when he walked in. JJ shot him a very sweet smile, it was almost motherly, like she was proud of him. Prentiss just winked.
Morgan wasn’t subtle. I’m not sure he knew how to be. He held out his fist for a fist bump, laughing openly when Spencer just wrapped his hand around it and shook.
“Alright,” Hotch said from the front of the room. Fuck, even he is smiling a little bit. “Let’s get started.”
--
Less than 30 minutes later, I was boarding the BAU jet for the first time in more than a month. We were off to Arkansas to assist the Hot Springs police department to catch a suspected serial killer.
I was one of the last ones on board; I smiled awkwardly when I saw everyone’s eyes on me.
“What kept you, Pretty Girl?” Morgan asked with a grin.
Oh, I’m Pretty Girl now? Subtle. I shot Morgan a look to indicate I wasn’t amused. “I had to talk to Garcia.”
Rossi looked at me expectantly “…About?”
They were all just staring at me, and they weren’t even trying to hide their amusement. I sighed. “I couldn’t just leave it on my desk, you assholes.” Garcia might have squealed loudly when I brought her my sunflower and asked her to watch over it for me.
Every one of them laughed…except Reid. Reid just bit his bottom lip and dropped his gaze. He looked so much like my nervous boy that it made me ache. That was the first time I allowed myself to admit how much I missed my darling boy.
--
I was in the middle of going over victimology when a cup of coffee was sat down beside me. I mumbled my thanks, not even glancing up, just reaching out to grab it. It wasn’t until my fingers wrapped around the cup that my head snapped up.
“Morgan,” I called. “What’s this?”
His smile was very, very bright. “It’s your coffee.”
I picked up the iced coffee, giving it a once over. “Are you or are you not the same Derek Morgan that has said multiple times, ‘I ain’t no damn barista if you want special coffee you go get it your damn self'?"
He nodded, his smile never wavering. “I am, so don’t get used to it. But when my boy has finally stopped being a dumbass and is trying to win his girl back?” He winked at me. “I’ll make an exception when he asks for a favor.”
I heard JJ laugh softly from the other end of the table. I scrunched my face into a mock glare at both of them. “Don’t you have a murderer to catch?”
He turned before leaving the room, putting a hand to his chest in a very dramatic fashion. “Pretty Girl, you should know SSA Derek Morgan can multitask!”
--
I still don’t know what it is about towns in the middle of nowhere, but it never fails, one of the cops from said town will try to weasel his way into my bed the second the case is over. I was packing up after the unsub was booked when someone cleared his throat behind me to get my attention. This time it was a tall, slightly out of shape Officer named Reynolds. His smile was greasy but at least he didn’t try to touch me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, offering what I hoped was a polite smile. “I have a boyfriend.” I always tried to be diplomatic when this happened, just because I didn’t need to Hotch reprimand me for threatening a member of the local police…again.
Officer Reynolds’ scoffed. “He doesn’t have to know.”
The smile dropped off my face, my eyes hardening. Fucker. “That’d be pretty fucking difficult since he’s a member of my team and he’s sharing a room with me.” I picked up my bag and tossed a sarcastic “nice working with you” over my shoulder before I hightailed it out of the conference room. I didn’t stop until I got to the main entrance of the precinct, where I planned to wait for the rest of the team.
“So, am I the boyfriend you mentioned?” A voice asked from behind me.
Of course. I turned to see Dr. Spencer Reid looking very pleased with himself. “I also didn’t know you wanted to share a room with me tonight. We each have single rooms though, so we don’t have to swap with anyone else…” he trailed off pretending to think. “So, who’s room are we taking?”
I rolled my eyes. “Reid, if it got some slimy cop off my back, I’d tell him you were my husband. I will throw you under the bus to save myself from a very awkward conversation that would probably lead to me punching someone.”
His face changed, he no longer looked overly pleased with himself. He looked like the same man that sat on the couch with me all those weeks ago and asked me if I kissed my submissives. He looked like the Spencer that used to be mine.
“You act like I’d mind,” he said quietly.
“Mind what? Being thrown under the bus?”
“Being called your husband.”
I froze, my eyes immediately dropped to the floor. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t. I let out a very shaky exhale, a sure sign that I was about to cry. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t. Why is he doing this to me?
I saw his beaten-up converse move into my field of view. He was close to me now, but he didn’t touch me. “I’m sorry, y/n,” he whispered. “But I promised I wouldn’t lie to you anymore.”
JJ walked around the corner then and he broke away from me. I just stared at my hands the whole drive back to the hotel.
--
The clock on the bedside table blinked 11:47 pm. I had been lying in bed since 9 pm trying to fall asleep. When we arrived back to the hotel, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just kept my head down and walked straight into my room. Once I was inside, I tore my clothes off and got into the shower, turning it on the hottest temperature I could tolerate.
I felt the tears; they were right there, I felt them pulsing underneath my eyes. I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to deny myself everything I had ever wanted when it was offering itself to me…I was the reason I was in pain right now, and it was all because I was so fucking terrified to trust him again.
I glanced back over at the clock. 11:49 pm.
Taking a deep breath, trying to pull some sort of courage into myself, I picked up my phone.
He’s probably sleeping, I reasoned, giving myself one last chance to back out.
But then the phone was dialing. I listened to the ringing and held my breath. Because what was I supposed to do if he didn’t answer? What was I supposed to do if he did?
“Y/n?” his sleepy voice asked, sounding disoriented but urgent. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Everything. And no. But I couldn't get my mouth to open. I couldn't say anything. If I opened my mouth, then everything would spill out. All the pain, all the secrets, all the hopes, and fears…and it would all be bared to Spencer Reid.
In the way that Spencer knew everything, he knew what I needed then. “I’ll be right there.” I heard a rustling on his end of the line, but he never hung up the phone.
Before I was ready, I heard the same hesitant knock on my door that I heard every night he came to my hotel room just because he missed me; the same knock that I had heard that first day at my apartment. The knock was the final crack that broke the dam I had built around my emotions in an attempt to hold them back so they wouldn’t sweep me away.
I don’t remember walking to the door, I don’t remember unlocking it; all I remember is Spencer standing on the other side in the same Caltech t-shirt and sweatpants he wore in my apartment when we sat on my couch on our first real night together.
“Y/n?” His eyes ran over me frantically. He came into the room, shutting the door behind him. His hands reached out like he would grab me, but I saw the indecision on his face. “Tell me what you need, baby. Please?”
The moment that I was so afraid of happened then. The tears finally flooded my eyes and my jaw unlocked. “Spence, I’m scared.” I swallowed, trying to control my broken voice. “I want this so much but I’m terrified.”
His arms enveloped me before I was finished speaking. One hand in the center of my back, the other on the back of my head. He smelt like coffee, laundry detergent, and my Spencer. My body shook in his arms. The pain from his words at the hospital, the pain from him not being there when I woke up, the pain of losing him, and the pain of having to turn him away for almost a week when he was all I wanted; all of that pain just poured out of me while I sobbed into his chest.
“I’m so sorry, y/n,” he whispered against my hair. “I’m so, so sorry. And I will do anything-I’ll do everything to prove to you that I will never hurt you again.”
He kept holding me until my tears finally quieted, my body almost went limp in his arms. The weight of all of that pain was so heavy for so long, and now that I didn’t have to hold it, I was so tired.
“Spence?” My throat felt raw, my eyes were puffy.
“Hmm?”
I didn’t lift my head to look at him. “I’m ready to hear it now.”
Spencer froze, I’m pretty sure he stopped breathing for a moment. Then he leaned back, pulling his chest away from my face. Both of his hands cupped my face, his thumbs moving over my cheeks softly, wiping the tear trails away. Spencer held me like I was more fragile than glass like I was made of something that would crumble into nothing if he so much as moved wrong.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly, his beautiful golden-brown eyes searching mine.
I nodded. “Yeah, I think so,” I said, giving him a small shaky laugh.
He tilted my head up slightly before his lips brushed against my forehead. “I loved you before you were ready to hear it; I loved you before you even knew I existed.” He pressed another kiss my cheek. “I loved you since the first time you smiled at me.” He kissed my other cheek. “I will never stop telling you how much I love you.” He trailed his lips over to my mouth. “I will love you forever…because no one has ever loved someone the way I love you,” he whispered, his breath washing over my lips.
I leaned forward and brushed my mouth against his. I felt the final layer of my resistance crumble. “Please don’t hurt me again, Spence.”
He pulled away to stare in my eyes. “I will never hurt you like this again. I’m so fucking sorry, y/n.”
“Just kiss me, Spencer.”
He gave me a tiny grin at the command. “I thought you didn’t kiss your submissives,” he teased.
I brought my hand up to hold his face. “You know I break all my rules for you, my darling, nervous boy.”
--
--
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Be Nice To Me 3
Part 2.
*************************************************
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader
Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:
Chapter warning: Swearing but just a little bit of it. Kissing because this is still on fluff mode
Chapter: 3/? Yup still don't know
Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*
Word count: 2.2k
Author's note: Okay friends, this is a little longer but it's cute, and it has some interesting things that will be relevant to the story, so read carefully, aaaand I must warn this is a slowburn. Hope you like it
Chapter 3 My Oh My - Aqua
We both left the empty classroom and went directly to class 3A. Tenya saw us coming late and started rambling about how punctuality is key for heroes and how we as seniors should give example and just Tenya stuff.
The rest of the class went pretty fast, I was thinking about what Denki said, he sounded so serious when he said the gig stuff, maybe I was overthinking, he has always been nice with me, just nice, we are friends right?
All those years getting to know each other, being partners in crime, spending too many nights wide awake talking about our future, the amount of pressure being a “hero” meant, how at the end of the day we were still children risking our lives, he understood that better than most of our friends; some of his words were burned in my mind forever: “I love helping people, but sometimes I wonder who’s helping us?” “I’m afraid I’ll turn into a puppet of the hero commission, like Hawks did” “I’m afraid of losing myself in the process”; as far as I know I was the only one that knew this side of Kaminari, everyone else always thought of him as the dyslexic class clown, but there were so much more of him that only jokes and a funny face after using his quirk, such a complex mind, sometimes I wonder if he plays dumb on propose…
Thinking about Denki almost made me forgot how nervous I was for my date with Katsuki, but the ring of the bell that indicates the end of the class made me jump from my desk in excitement.
-Oi dumbass, see you in a while, be punctual- Bakugo said picking up his stuff and heading to the door without looking back at me.
------------
We talked about nothing in the way to the ramen restaurant, I wasn’t as nervous as I were on Monday and everything seemed to be going so smoothly, just as I thought, this was Bakugo Katsuki my best friend, the guy I was in love with, he had seen me covered in sweat and bruises from the hero training, had seen me cry over my failed math tests, he knew me, if he didn’t like me back I could deal with it, but this date definitely won’t ruin our friendship.
---------------------
-Don’t make me laugh when I’m eating, you idiot- Bakugo said between coughs from almost choking with his noodles
-I didn’t mean it, but it’s true my greatest fear are those wacky waving inflatable things they put in the cars sales, they scare the shit out of me- I said laughing and with a bit of embarrassment for telling this stupid thing to my crush, but he found it hilarious
-I’ve seen you take down villains with a single hand and without sweating a single drop, but your greatest fear is ridiculous Y/N-
That kinda sounded like a compliment, and knowing Katsuki it probably was, I couldn’t help but blush but if someone asked me it was the spiciness of the ramen.
-I’m also a little bit afraid of heights, not as I used to, but it makes me a little bit nervous thinking about falling to my inevitable death- I said slurping the last of the broth in my plate
-Heights? No way, that means we can’t go rock climbing because of a certain pussy- Said the ash blonde, finishing his ramen as well
-Why? Is Bakugo Katsuki planning on taking me on a road trip anytime soon? – Oh shit that sounded way more flirty than I had planned.
I turned bright red right after I said that and to my surprise the boy in front of me was just as red as I was, that’s it I just made Katsuki Bakugo blush, I can die a hero now. We were not looking at each other, not saying a single word, just awkwardly sitting in front of each other.
-I… I was joking ´Tsuki- I began but he interrupted me with
-Maybe I want to take you to a stupid road trip, what you’re going to do about it? You can chicken now and saving me seeing you cry in front of a rock, but that wouldn’t be very Y/N of you- Aaaaand just like that Bakugo’s back
-Let’s go, Draw, I still wanna kick your ass in Mario Kart before curfew and knowing you, you will want to play those claw things and get some weird weeb thing, like a figure of that loud anime guy you like, the one who plays Volleyball; and of course you will be wasting all your money in the process- This man knows me damn too well
I was about getting my money to pay but he stopped me
-I got this-
-But ‘Tsuki I invited you, I have to pay for it- I said but the waitress had already taken Katsukis money
-If you beat me at Mario Kart, I’ll let you pay me back, but if I win… Well we will see about that later- Bakugo said without looking at me
Was that flirting? Is Katsuki Bakugo flirting with me? Did he noticed this was a date and that’s why he wanted to pay? Nah, he’s probably doing it to bother me, but if anything made me bush a little.
-Oi, you coming or what? – I was so caught up in the emotion that I didn’t noticed he was already heading to the front door
We walked a couple of blocks to the arcade, it was still early in the afternoon, we had a couple of hours before our curfew and I was going to make the best of them.
--------
After the tenth time losing against him, I gave up.
-This is bullshit, I don’t know how but you’re cheating, there is no way I actually hit all those frigging banana peels, this game sucks, you suck- I said making an overdramatic mouth pout and crossing my arms on my chest.
I could hear Bakugos laughing on my side and when I turned to look at him, he had the most gorgeous look on his eyes, but when he noticed that I was looking at him he changed his expression.
-I told you so, you can’t beat me, but I’m a compassionate God, so I’ll let you choose the next game for you to lose in- His big smile was equally irritating as it was beautiful
Three games in and Bakugo was about to blow the whole arcade up, apparently, he can’t dance to save his life, so Dance Dance Revolution was the perfect game for me to choose. I was literally tearing up from laughter, he was so angry and upset.
-If you had spending more time with Mina and me you could have learned a couple of steps, but you had to go sleeping at eight like an old man-
-Have you seen this face? This is what a good sleep schedule does to your skin, but I guess you’ll never know about that-
-Oh god, is that a pimple? – I joked to make him even angrier, I leaned towards his face to mock him more -Oh he has a brother, and a whole family of angry little buds, this even looks like you-
He turned his head and his nose was almost an inch away from mine, his eyes locked with mines, we were so close that I could feel his breath, a little bit more and our lips would be touching, my mind was going blank, I suddenly forgot how to breathe, I thought that it was actually happening, I should close my eyes and go for it, I leant a bit closer, we were almost there…
-Y/N, we both know there is not a single pimple in this face- Said Bakugo moving his head back and creating some distance between us.
I felt my heart drop to the ground. He didn’t wanna kiss me, I probably made him uncomfortable being that close, I’m so stupid, I fucked up.
-There is the claw machine of the Volleyball dudes, and there is the owl one you like- Bakugo was trying to be a good friend to me, and as much as I appreciated it I was way too sad to even think about volleyball
After more than a half of my money spent, I was walking to the UA dorms with my Bokuto plushie and an ache in my heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about that moment, was I imagining everything? Was he not flirting with me? It felt so real, I wanted to cry, but that would only make things worse, I wasn’t looking at Bakugo for the first time since we’ve met. I couldn’t hold a conversation after that, I used the excuse of being too concentrated in winning the plushie, but now that we are walking side by side it feels weird not saying anything. Bakugo doesn’t seem to care, or even notice, he’s also very quiet, this feels way too awkward, I just want this night to be over and cry my heart out in my room. There is only a couple more blocks and this nightmare will end.
-Hey Y/N, wait- This is the first time I hear Bakugos voice since we started heading the dorms
I try to put my best “Everything is okay” face but I fail miserably when I see his face. I started to tear up and just hugged my plushie with my eyes fixed in the ground, I can’t see him in the face
-I’m sorry Katsuki, I wasn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable situation, I wasn’t thinking and…-
I was grabbed so suddenly I dropped Bokuto
Before I realized his lips were pressed against my own. I was way too shocked to respond to his kiss, to my very first kiss. He pulled back, and a sigh left his lips.
-‘Tch, don’t apologise, I didn’t wanna kiss you in front of a bunch of losers- He said looking to his side, clearly avoiding my confused gaze
I didn’t hesitate, I grabbed his face and kissed him, trying to let him know how much I waited for that kiss. He quickly responded to it, for someone as strong and tough as him he was being gentle and caring, if this ain’t heaven, I dare God to come down and tell me this isn’t what glory feels like.
We kept the kiss, it became more and more passionate, he got closer to deepen the kiss, I could feel his arms around my waist, and I could taste the melon soda he had at the arcade in his lips. I opened my mouth just a little and I felt his tongue slowly brushing against mine. This was the pinnacle of happiness.
We broke the kiss with blushed cheeks and racing heartbeats. This was too much; my head was spinning and I almost cried tears of joy.
-I thought you didn’t wanna kiss me- I said with a broke voice
-I didn’t- His reply felt like a bucket of cold water
-What? You’re kidding, you kissed me- Knowing Bakugo he just said that to mess with me
-Y/N I didn’t want to kiss you, but not because of whatever stupid thing your mind its thinking right now-
-Then why? You can’t just kiss me and then tell me you didn’t mean it, you don’t like me? –
-I like you, a lot, and that is why this is getting way harder that it’s supposed to be, I’ve been dying to kiss you for a long long time Y/N, you had no idea how much I have fantasized with having you between my arms and telling you just how much I like your dumb pretty face, I like you, and don’t you ever doubt it-
-Then, why? –
-I’m going to become the no. 1 hero, and that means I have to try even harder than the rest of the losers in this and the other hero curses, that’s why I will be having internships abroad this semester, with the bests heroes not only in Japan but in the world. I have to be the best in everything, having a girlfriend will only be distracting and possibly a complete disaster because I will be a terrible boyfriend being that busy with hero training, and asking you to wait for me is selfish, even for me. I didn’t wanna kiss you and then leave for half a year, maybe even more, but then you looked at me with those stupid kitty eyes and I just…-
-You’re going away? And you didn’t told me? – Now I definitely started to cry
-Oi! You’re the first one to know I haven’t even told my mom yet –
-I’ll wait –
-What? No I.. –
-I said I’ll wait for you, Bakugo Katsuki I’ve been in love with you since we first meet, I’ve been waiting two years for this, this is just half a year, then we will have all the time in the world-
Now it was Bakugos time to shed a tear
-You don’t have to; I don’t want you to be waiting for me while I…-
My kiss didn’t let him finish what he was about to say, he was tearing, I was tearing, but it was beautiful.
-Six months and then you’ll be mine Katsuki, get it? –
-I don’t think this is a good idea, you dumbass-
-Maybe it isn’t, but what are you going to do? Stop me? - I replied and then we kissed one last time
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Part 4.
I really liked how this turned out, I'm going to the the masterlist post soon so you can find all the chapters together. As always I'm starting to write and in my second language (just give me my certificate already) so any error let me know, and if you want to be tagged message me. LY
#bakugou imagine#bakugou fic#bakugou headcanons#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x reader#denki imagine#denki x you#denki fluff#denki fanfic#denki fic#denki headcanons#denki x reader#denki x y/n#denki x female reader#mha imagines#mha headcanons#mha fluff#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#bnha headcanons#bnha fluff#mha x you#bnha x you
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name: Ray
age: 28
preferred pronouns: I don't really have one I do consider myself to be genderflux, in that the intesetive of my gender fluctuates. but for simplicity she/her.
sexuality: Asexual Biromantic
zodiac sign: Capricorn but I don't know a thing about zodiac stuff outside things a friend of mine tells me because they are very into it XD
taken or single: I rather not answer this atm.
three facts:
1. I draw in theory most fanart or original character stuff. Any art of my ocs is drawn by myself.
2. I graduated with a BA in fine arts.
3. My blog name is a play on the phase have your ducks in a row because I am not one who dose XD so i am a duck not in a row it's also slightly a pun which I love puns so there uwu
EXPERIENCE :
how long (months/years?): I have an on and off again history with rping. I rped on myspace, Gaiaonline, facebook, here and old wed forms. I always just say like 10+ years to round it out though. I did some of a good break cause the faceboook rp scene became hella toxic for a time. But hearing my friend Kezzie talk thier enjoyment on tumblr made me wanna get back into it. So it's their fault you deal with my nonsense here uwu (kidding)
how’d you start: With my best friend we wanted to make our own stories for animes we loved like digimon and pokemon and started to rp through email then myspace when I was finally allowed to have one.
MUSE PREFERENCES :
female or male: Gender never plays much into why I may pick a muse it tends to lie on their personality alone and I have joked often I muse hard for confident muses/ egomaniacs.
favorite face: I'd say it's still Drake Mallard/Darkwing duck from Darkwing duck. Even If I've been using Stolas a lot more now.
least favorite face: I don't think I got one?
WRITING PREFERENCES :
fluff, angst or smut: I love all three of theres even more when somehow combined uwu but tends to depend what I'm feeling at the time.
plots or memes: both i enjoy working on a longer story and getting to wirte along with my rp partners. Meme are also fun to do in-between like one shot stuff or a good place for things me and partners discuss like dumb jokes or things we think muses would do together.
are you like your muse(s): yes to some degrees its how I connect to them in order to write them. If I can relate to them on some level I can place myself in thier shoes.
tagged by: no one i just felt like it.
tagging: no one unless you wanna then you can say i tagged you.
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FWB to Lovers
Paring: Jaehyun x female reader [feat. Jaemin, Jisung & Haechan]
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff
Contains: Swearing, unprotected sex *use protection lol*, partying
Word Count: 5,517 (sorry lol...)
Sorry there’s a lot of time skips that’s what ------- were for lol sorry.
You both finish your high as he pulls out of you and lays next to you. You’re looking at the ceiling after cleaning yourself off and putting on your clothes. After moments passed you sat up against the headboard looking at Jaehyun put his clothes back on. You were hesitant to ask him this question but you needed to know.
y/n: Jaehyun can I ask you something?
Jaehyun: yeah what’s up?
you took one last sigh and began to asking him
y/n: Jaehyun what are we?
Jaehyun: what do you mean?
y/n: are we just going to keep doing this?
Jaehyun: doing what?
y/n: come on you know what I mean Jae...
Jaehyun: you know I don’t want to label things...we agreed we were just going to do this with no strings attached.
You became silent..and felt yourself become upset as tears start to form.
y/n:....Jae I like you.
Jaehyun: what?
y/n: I know we said we’d do this and have no strings attached. but I failed at that....I like you a lot Jae.
Jaehyun: since when?
y/n: I honestly don’t know...it just happened.
Jaehyun: see you don’t even know, so how can you even tell if you really like me. come on let’s just keep doing this and forget this happened.
y/n: you can’t stand there and tell me all these times we’ve fucked around you hadn’t have a single shed of love towards me what so ever?!
Jae: what kind of question is that?! If you can find a real reason to like a person then i’ll believe there could be something between us.
You thought to yourself “is he right?” but in your heart you knew you liked him a lot but you just couldn’t explain it.
y/n: do you really need a reason to like someone? can’t you just like someone? your heart tells you who to like and it’s telling me I really like you.
Jaehyun: y/n I don’t have time for this. I have to get ready for a date!
You couldn’t take it anymore, yes you knew that if you agreed to just fuck around with Jaehyun you shouldn’t expect anything more from him. But every time you screwed around and left your heart always felt shattered. Was it worth it every time? y/n didn’t want it anymore. She wants to be with someone who likes her back and not just to be used for sex.
y/n: i’m done Jaehyun..
Jae: WHAT?!
y/n: THIS! I’M DONE WITH WHATEVER THIS IS! I’m done being used for just sex. I have a life Jae and I want to share it with someone who will love me back.
Jae: when we first started to do this we both agreed to it! what the fuck all this change happening now?!
y/n: you’re right I was dumb to even agree to this. If I knew I would grow feelings for you I wouldn’t have agreed to do it. what does it matter you can have all these other girls to screw with. You do it every time after we just fucked. I don’t get why YOU need sex before a date when we both know you say one thing to a girl and she’s laying naked for you!
Jae: what has gotten into you?!
y/n: have fun on your date Jae...I’m done with this.
You grabbed your things and left without looking back as he’s screaming at your backside.
Jae: Y/N COME BACK!
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It’s been a few days since you’ve last spoken to Jae. You’d see him around school walking around with a random girl every time. You both make eye contact here and there, but nothing more than that. You couldn’t be mad at him when he’s with other women because you were never a thing.
You were in psychology class. You’d always sit next to Jaehyun because he was the only one you tolerated in that class, but after you stopped what ever it was with the 2 of you. You sat else where. He sat next to the same girl you saw him with earlier. You were only a few seats behind him. Watching him play with that girl like she’s some kind of sex toy. He knew it pissed you off, knowing that you liked him he didn’t care if he hurt you or not. As soon as the professor turned on the video he had planned, you excused yourself to use the bathroom.
You lied...you never had to use the bathroom, you just used it as an excuse to wander around in the halls. You couldn’t get Jaehyun out of your head. As much as you tried to, you just couldn’t do it. Watching him with another girl killed you so much. You had to look passed your feelings for him and just move on, because if you keep holding on you’re just hurting yourself more and more.
You were finally walking back to class when you got shoved into a storage closet.
Y/n: WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO’S THERE?!
The person that shoved you in there turned the lights on, and in front of you stood Jaehyun.
Y/n: what do you want?
Jaehyun: I was sent to come look for you to see what was taking so long.
y/n: ok well here I am. Let me go I’m trying to go back to class.
Jaehyun: come on we are in here, this is where everything started.
y/n: Jae, I said I was done. Why don’t you bring that other girl in here and let me leave.
Jae: no I want you.
y/n: Jae sto--oh my god.
Before you could move he pushed you against the wall putting his hands in your shorts reaching down to your core.
Jae: mmm...see you want me...you’re so wet.
you both ended up making out...he’s playing with you as jerk him off. Not caring you are both in the storage closet.
Jae: you can’t make any loud noises baby because everyone will hear you.
he starts to move his lips to your neck. you missed this, his kisses always felt so good. The way he plays with you, he knew all of the right spots. But you hated him so much that he made you feel this way. When you both finished your high. You cleaned yourself off not saying a word to each other, until he broke the silence
Jae: that was great...come on y/n you know you missed this. stop being so stubborn and come back.
y/n: you know what jae, you’re right I did miss this. But not in a way you think....I hate how you manipulate me into doing this shit with you even after you know how I feel about you.
You start to feel tears form in your eye as you shove him to the side to get access to the door. Before turning the door knob staring at the door you let out your last words to him.
y/n: this was the last time ever Jae. I should’ve never agreed to do things with someone who will never have feelings other than having sex. I thought I could do it Jae and just suck it up, but I just can’t. Let’s just not talk to each other anymore, you have other girls to play with now.
Jae:...y/n.
he heard a little sniffle come from you as he tried to reach for you.
y/n:...wait a few minutes before you come out so people don’t know what just happened...bye Jae.
and just like that you were gone....
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It’s been months now since you last spoke to Jaehyun. You even made it possible to switch out of the same psychology class as him, now you are in a different period. You went on a few dates with other people and it was great getting to meet new people. You would see Jae around campus sometimes but you wouldn’t make eye contact and look the other way as if he never existed.
You and your friend Jisung were sitting in the canteen laughing and bringing up old memories of when you and him would draw on your other friend Haechan’s face when he slept. You were so into your conversation with Jisung you didn’t even realize Jae sat on the table behind you...again with another girl.
Jisung: y/n! would you agree to go on a blind date with someone?
y/n: a blind date?
Jisung: yeah please!! my friend keeps bugging me to hook him up with someone.
y/n: uh..what’s his name?
Jisung: Jaemin. Na Jaemin.
Hyuck: hey isn’t he the guy in our music class?
Jisung: yes. so would you go on a date with him y/n?!
y/n: i don’t know....a blind date? why me though?
Jisung: he saw a picture of the 3 of us at my sister’s birthday and thought you were cute.
y/n: haha are you sure he wasn’t saying your sister was cute?
they all laughed. But one person wasn’t...someone who can hear the entire conversation....Jae.
Hyuck: so are you gonna go on a date with him y/n?
y/n:....um I don’t know....
while giving you puppy dog eyes Jisung begs you.
Jisung: PLLLEEEAAASSSEE?!!!
Y/n: OH MY GOD OK! OK! Just please don’t ever do that again!
Jisung pulls out his phone and snags yours away seeing the lock screen of your phone of you and Jae.
Jisung: wait who’s he?
y/n: huh?
peaking over forgetting you had that as your lock screen you yank it away from Jisung.
y/n: oh---no one..here i’ll put in his number....give it to me.
not realizing Jae was still behind you he glances to see the picture of the both of you sitting on the beach smiling. your head rested on his shoulder with you arm linked to his. Jae liked that picture....he was actually the one that saved it as your background. That was the first time in his life he smiled, because of y/n. When y/n unlocked her phone to enter Jaemin’s number, Jae got irritated and got up.
girl: Jae where you going? wait for me!
Jae: hurry up already! I lost my appetite.
As he was walking by you angry it never really bothered you anymore. Did you lose all the last of your feelings you had for Jae? But a part of you wanted to get up and apologize, but for what? You’re not doing anything wrong, you guys weren’t anything anymore. You both were never a thing to begin with, but why did you feel so guilty to agreeing going on a blind date.
You were walking to your locker to grab a few things for your next class. When you closed the door you flinched as you were startled by who was standing behind the door. It was Jae.
y/n: holy fuck! you scared me! what do you want Jae?
Jae: so you’re going on dates with people now?
y/n: yeah...and? I cannot?
Jae: no do whatever you want, we both know they ain’t gonna fuck you as good I as did.
y/n: stop being so full of yourself Jae. don’t you have a girl to go fuck?
Jae: yeah...but it’s boring so it’s whatever.
y/n: what...you can’t find someone who can fuck you or suck on your dick as good as me?
you let out a scoff...but realized what he was trying to do. you forgot he loves it when you talk shit to him. He loves it when you are mad at him because it leads to angry sex. When you finally realize what he’s trying to do you stop.
y/n: Jae stop....please just stop.
Jae: stop what baby?
y/n: I don’t know what kind of game you’re trying to play but I don’t want to be a part of it. I really wish you could see how you’re hurting me right now...I wish you could go back to see how much fun we had before the sex. I know you’re a great guy deep down inside Jae, I just wish you’d bring him back out and realize there’s someone who wants to be with you.
He stood there frozen....He knew you were a different kind of mad. Did he really lose you forever?
y/n: I miss being friends with you Jae. I had fun hanging out with you, but I’m tired of getting my heart thrown around like a rag doll.
Jae:...y/n..I-
y/n: i gotta get to class....
And there again you went....walking away from someone who you cared so much for but tried so hard to forget. Tears began to fall down your eyes again.
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You and Jaemin went on a few dates but realized that you had more fun just being friends. You had a lot of things in common, but you both agreed the feelings weren’t there. You told Jaemin about what happened between you and Jae. He was a friend you could talk to about anything now.
Jaemin: I’m sure he’ll come around...you never know.
y/n: I don’t know, the way he is I don’t think he’ll ever have feelings for anyone...
Jaemin: let’s go to the beach party tonight. Hyuck and Jisung kept bugging me to go..we should all go together and blow off steam.
y/n: maybe you’re right. what beach is it?
Jaemin: uhhh...i think it’s called sunset beach
you froze at his words....sunset beach...you know sunset beach. that was the place the picture you and Jae took together. you both pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend to get Jae’s ex girlfriend off his back. That was the day you became close friends that fulled around. You were hesitant to go, because you were afraid he’d be there and everything will come back.
y/n: on second thought I don’t know if I want to go...
Jaemin: if it’s because of Jae, he shouldn’t be the reason for you to not have fun. You won’t be alone either, you’ll be with me, Jisung and Hyuck.
Y/n:....ugh why are you always right?!
Jaemin:...because I’m perfect.
We went to your apartment to get ready. While the boys waiting in the living room you were in your room staring into your closet. What did you want to wear? As you stood there..
y/n: wait what does it matter what I wear....not like I’m trying to impress anyone....
you ended up wearing a jean mini skirt, a bright green oversized shirt tucked into the front and some sandals...because after all you’re going to the beach. You all got into Hyuck’s car and drove to the beach party. You were a little nervous because you really didn’t want to see him there.
Jaemin: relax you’ll have fun! besides...if he’s there you can always use me to make him jealous.
laughter filled the car helping y/n relax. You all arrived to the party...there was a lot of people there already. Hyuck and Jisung went their separate ways leaving just you and Jaemin.
y/n: why do we even hang out with them, when they always ditch us.
Jaemin:...well they are kids what do you expect haha...
you and jaemin went to go grab a drink.
Jaemin: wanna sit over there?
point in the direction of near a bom fire that was lit.
y/n: yeah sure.
you both saw a bunch of your friends and classmates and started to converse. you tried your best to have fun which you slowly were. Laughing with everyone telling stories...just as it started to become more fun, you see Jaehyun. This time he was alone....maybe he’s meeting a new girl there. He didn’t notice you sitting near the fire. Jaemin leans in towards you and whispers.
Jaemin: are you gonna be ok? do you want to go for a walk?
y/n: no...I’m tired of running away. I need to just suck it up.
He smiled wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You just smiled and stared at the ground for a little while. After a few moments you look up making eye contact with Jaehyun. You both stared at each other for a minute what felt like hours. Jaemin looked over to you
Jaemin: are you o--
looking up at who she was looking at.
Jaemin:...are you ok? do you want to leave?
you didn’t know what you wanted to do, but you knew you had to go somewhere.
y/n: I’m gonna go for a walk.
Jaemin: want me to come with you?
y/n: no no I’ll be fine you have fun.
Jaemin: are you sure?
y/n: yes...don’t worry if I get mobbed I’ll call you or one of the boys
you both let out a giggle as Jaemin let go of your hand. You started to walk away from him as Jae sat there and watched you disappear. You decided to walk near the shoreline. You loved walking near the water touching the small waves that came in with your feet. It was a cold night but you still enjoyed it. You stopped in your tracks and stared at the moon. It was so bright tonight. You felt yourself shiver from the cold breeze. You thought to yourself...maybe I should head back near the fire where it’s warm. You stood there and started talking to yourself...
y/n: why am I doing this to myself....ugh we know I can’t let go of my feelings for him. I’m sure he’s here with someone...ugh I shouldn’t have come here...
You took one last look at the moon before you turned around, right before you turned your feet a warm jacket was thrown over you...
y/n: Jaemin I was on my way ba--
As you turned around thinking it was Jaemin who put a jacket on you, it was Jaehyun.
y/n: Jae?...what are you doing here....
Jae: hey...I saw you were by yourself. and it’s cold out. I knew you didn’t have a jacket either. you were always like that.
y/n:...well thanks for the jacket...here
you pulled it off to hand it back to him.
Jae: no you keep it, it’s really cold tonight I don’t want you to get sick....
his tone of voice was different from before...it was quiet and had a lot of sadness.
y/n: what would it matter if I got sick or not...you don’t have to worry...
Jae: I know I don’t but I know you’d come here with nothing warm to wear.
y/n: why don’t you take care of the random girl you’re here with....
Jae: I’m not here with anyone.
you stood there quietly...you didn’t understand why. But hearing that he was here by himself made you happy. you started to walk away.
Jae: how are things goin with you and Jaemin?
y/n:...fine
Jae: oh...
you felt awkward standing in front of him..and again you started to walk away. you took a few steps before you felt him wrap his arms around you.
y/n: jae...wha-
Jae: can I just stay here like this for a little bit
you both stood there quietly as you let him hug you from behind. You felt safe in his arms, this is what you dreamed of. Him holding you in his arms. Yes he’s held you in his arms before, but it was only to help him from being tired after sex...never like this...it felt different to you. Tears began to fall down your face like it was a daily routine for you. You pulled away turning around.
y/n:...you’re doing it again jae! i hate doing this to myself
Jae: doing what?
y/n: I hate that I always think of you when I’m trying to forget you! When I finally do start to forget about you, you’re always there. I hate it!
More and more tears start to fall. You fell to your feet burying your face in your hands as you cry. He bent down to you, gently pushing you down to sit in the sand with him. You then buried your face in your arms looking away from him. It got quiet...the only sounds that were heard was the waves crashing on the shore and little sniffles coming from you. As you kept looking away you had more on your chest you wanted to let out.
Y/n: As much as I tried to forget you Jae my mind is always turning around to think about you again. I wanted to forget you because I knew you’d never change and we will never be anything. But deep down inside my heart is telling me to not let go.
you stopped talking and then heard sniffling...but it wasn’t from you. you looked up and turned to look at him to see tears falling from his eyes. You’ve never seen him cry. He was always a stone, never shared his emotions as much as you tried to get him to.
y/n: jae..I didn’t mean to..
Jae: I’m sorry...
y/n: sorry?....for what...
Jae: for everything I put you through....
y/n: it’s my fault for falling in love with you when we agreed to never fall in love with each other...
it became silent again...you stared up at the stars with glassy eyes....then you felt him put his hand on yours. you looked down at him.
Jae: I lied to you...
y/n: lied to me about what?
Jae: remember when you asked me if there was ever a time I had more feelings about you for a moment. and I said no.
y/n:...yeah.
Jae: I lied....there were several times I felt something.
y/n: but--
Jae: no let me finish.
you sat there and listened to what he had to say because it was all overwhelming and you were frozen to move.
Jae:...there were times after we did it and you’d just get up and leave I felt a hole in my heart. I wanted you to just stay...but I choose to ignore my feelings because I didn’t want you to get hurt. But really I didn’t realize I was hurting you already.
y/n: even after I told you that I liked you, you continued to hurt me....you manipulated my feelings over and over....
Jae: i know and I can’t take it back...when you left that day I fell a part. I did stupid things to forget about you and I hated myself everyday. Then when I saw you with Jaemin I knew I couldn’t get you back. Even if it was just us being friends, I saw how much fun you were having with him I just had to let it go.
y/n: why were you jealous or something?
Jae: yes I was
you were surprised he said that. Jae the guy you thought was a stone....you were face to face with the Jae you first met and fell in love with.
Jae: i know we can’t go back to what we use to be...but I want to start over with you...actually take you on a date. Talk late nights like we use to, laugh like we use to...I want to wake up next to you and not having to wake up and you’re gone. I want to make you breakfast in the mor---
you pressed your lips against Jaehyun’s. you felt warmth in your heart again...you felt safe being with him again. you pulled away breaking the kiss as you looked into his eyes.
y/n: there’s the Jae I fell in love with.
he looked at you with a smile as he pulled you in for another kiss. then pulling you in his arms tight.
y//n: Jae I can’t breathe...
Jae:...sorry...I couldn’t help it.
y/n: so you’re jealous of Jaemin huh...
giggling...he shoves you away.
Jae: aren’t you dating him though?
y/n: well we did for a little while but we both agreed the feelings of love wasn’t there. I told him about you and he kept telling me my heart is forever gonna belong to you.
Jae: wait then why didn’t you---
you stuck your tongue out to him making a face. This is what you missed most...laughing with him. He pulled out his phone.
Jae: I want to show you something...
He pulls it out to show you that he had the same picture of you and him on his phone. You smiled as you showed him your phone.
y/n: I have it too..I didn’t have the heart to change it, I love this picture of us.
Jae: I know you did...I saw it the first time you put Jaemin’s phone number into your phone...I was behind you that day.
y/n:...oh.
Jae: how about we take a new one?
y/n: you’re weird but ok...
he brings up his phone to get both of you in the frame...
Jae: ready?...1-2-3
Right as he clicks the shutter button he turns to kiss you on the cheek catching your gasp.
y/n: OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO CORNY!!!
He begins to giggle as he looks at the photo...
y/n: oh my god jae delete that I look horrible!!
you reaching out to grab his phone as he holds it up high from you.
Jae: nope! it’s mine...I’m going to show it to everyone too
y/n: oh my god you better not! give it to me and delete it jae! why would you show that.
He stops to pull you in again..
Jae: i want everyone to see that you belong to me and no one else...
you smiled at him putting your head back on his shoulder hugging his waist. You knew that someday he’ll realize his true feelings and it was worth the wait.
Jae: want to come back to my place?
y/n: mmhmm..but let me text the boys that--
as you pulled out your phone you noticed you received a text message from your group chat with the boys.
{11:30 PM FROM: Jaemin} shit i told you he’d turn around..
{11:31 PM FROM: Jisungie} Wait what?! who turned around I’m confused!
{11:32 PM FROM: Hyuck} Jisung you small child i don’t know what are we going to do with you...
you let out a little giggle..
Jae: what’s so funny?
y/n: nothing...haha I think they’ll be ok without me.
Jaehyun stood up dusted his pants from the sand that got on it and helping you up. He reached behind you to help dust off the sand that had gotten on your skirt.
Jae: Oh and you look really cute tonight..
y/n: thank you..
Jae: are you ready to go?
y/n: mmhmm...
As you started to walk to Jaehyun’s car you felt your phone buzz again.
{11:45 PM FROM: Jaemin} ooooh y/n is gonna get some tonight!!!
{11:46 PM FROM: Hyuck} Oh my god you’re so disgusting Jaemin!
{11:47 PM FROM: Jisungie} what is she gonna get?! I’m so lost someone tell me what’s going on!
you just shook your head as you and Jaehyun walked to his car. You were walking side by side like you normally would with him, but this time he grabs your hand interlocking his fingers with yours. Pulling your hand up to his lips to give it a small peck. As you both get to his car he opens the door for you and you get in. The car ride was quiet, but you kept glancing over to Jaehyun. Something about him driving always turned you on. You never noticed what he was wearing until your eyes started to wander his body. Seeing him wearing ripped jeans and a black t-shirt. The jacket you had on completed his outfit.
But seeing him in ripped jeans always turned you on. You began to feel yourself create a pool between your legs...you begin to shuffle your thighs together to get keep yourself from getting anymore wet than you already were. Trying your best to hide it from Jaehyun, but he knows you too well. He can see you shifting around in your chair and puts his hand on your thigh.
Jae: baby is something wrong?
y/n: huh? oh um..no I’m fine.
you began to shake your legs together with the touch of Jaehyun’s hand on your thigh...you felt the car speed up and the grip on your thigh got tighter. you look over at Jaehyun as he’s bitting the bottom of his lip.
Jae: we are almost there baby and you can have all of this...
A moan left your mouth at the words he said. You missed his touch and everything he says to you. Moments later you finally reach his apartment. You barely made it to his apartment without touching each other. As soon as he got the door open he slams it shut then picking you up automatically wrapping your legs around his waist and you both making out as his tongue reaches deep inside of your mouth making you moan.
You both finally make it to his room as he breaks the kiss to give both of you air. Jae staring at you with those seductive eyes as he got closer to you. you biting the bottom of your lip as you push your gaze down to his hard member, and licking your lips making you want him more than ever.
Jae: you want this baby?
y/n:...mmmhhmm yes baby I want it now..
Jae: damn baby I missed this pretty lil cunt..
pushing his hands towards the wetness of your clit...and rubbing it...placing his fingers in his mouth tasting you.
Jae: damn y/n you taste so good like always...now come here so I can destroy this pussy.
He pulls you in to him inserting his hard cock into your wet clit. A loud moan left your mouth as your head fell backwards. Feeling his kisses on your neck.
y/n: don’t stop Jae...oh my god..
Jae: y/n you’re so tight and wet for me...I miss this tight pussy
you feeling every inch of him inside of you, oh how you missed it all. It felt so good. You didn’t want it to stop. Sex with him was always heaven to you.
Jae:...oh my god baby I’m almost ready to cum.
y/n: ah...oh my god I’m so close Jaehyun...
his thrusting becomes sloppy..
Jae: where do you want me to cum baby?....
Y/n:...oh my--babe..any-any--anywhere you want oh my god I’m so close don’t stop..
Jae: I’m gonna cum in this pretty lil pussy....
before he finished he felt you clench your walls on his cock as he knew you were at your high with him falling not too long after filling you up. He slowly fell on top of your chest giving a kiss on your cheek as he became soft in you. Jaehyun pulls out as he sees both of your white juices spill out of you. Grabbing a towel near the bed, he sees your legs trembling as he smiles and helps clean you both up. You laid there panting and trembling. Jaehyun handed you some water. kissing the top of your shoulder handing you a hoodie and sweats for you to throw on.
Jae: sorry baby I went a little too hard this time around.
y/n: it’s ok
Jae: I just missed you.
leaning in to kiss you on your forehead as he goes back to his side to lay down yanking you in his arms. all you hear are giggles and kissing noises and he’s showering you with love. You both fell asleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning came as you got woken up by the sun that made it passed Jaehyun’s curtains. You look over to see Jaehyun still asleep with his arm around your waist. You couldn’t help but smile as you slowly move his arm away to make your way to the kitchen. You knew Jaehyun was always hungry when he woke up. And you remembered he always wanted to have breakfast in bed with you so you started to make pancakes because who doesn’t love pancakes in the morning.
Jaehyun slowly woke up rolling over to see the empty side of his bed where you laid. His heart stopped for a moment because it was how he felt every time he woke up and you were gone. But a smile grew on his face as he saw you walk in with a tray of food and coffee.
y/n: Hey sleepy head...I knew you were going to be hungry when you woke up so I made pancakes for us and coffee.
you set the tray of food down on his desk as you turned around to see him smiling ear to ear.
y/n:..what?
Jae shook his head at you. You walked to the bed to be yanked by him and held you in his arms again.
y/n: what’s with you this morning...
Jae: nothing just happy..
y/n: I can see that...
Jae: now I don’t have to worry about waking up and you being completely gone. and now I can do this.
he gives you a bunch of kisses on your forehead, then your nose then your lips.
y/n: Oh my god Jae you’re being so corny stoooop.
Jae: nope!
you both continue to laugh and he eventually stops and looks into your eyes.
y/n: what is it now?
Jae:...I love you y/n...
y/n: I love you too Jaehyun..
He cupped your face and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. And you started your day cuddling in his bed.
#nct#nct fluff#nct smut#nct angst#nct 127#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 angst#nct 127 smut#jaehyun#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun smut#jaehyun angst#kpop fluff#kpop smut#kpop angst
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Back In Time || myg 3
Summary: While helping your boyfriend research his ancestry you find a very old looking book. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open it, a flash of light sucks you into a world you’d never seen before. Now with a man who looks exactly like your boyfriend you have to find a way home.
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Time Traveler!au, Angst, Fluff
Word count: 4.3K
Warning: Smut implied, ANGST
Masterlist
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6
AN: 🥺🥺🥺 I am so happy you guys are enjoying this so far. Tbh I think this is the best thing I’ve ever written. We may have maybe two or three chapters left and I’m not ready for it. I’ve got other stories to work on after, but idk which one to start. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. ANYWAY! Here is chapter 3.
-TJ/ TacoAdmin 🌮
“Hey stupid get up.You were gone for a long time so I came to find you. What were you doing falling asleep in a strange room? Come on, Y/n, let’s go home.”
Your eyes snapped open and you shot straight up, expecting to see Yoongi and the rows of books in the library, but all you saw was a tiny room with a dresser.
You groaned, rubbing your face. “Just a dream.”
Why couldn’t have this been the dream? Why was being back in the library the dream?
Yoongi’s soft voice lulling you out of sleep, even though he was being rude by calling you stupid, he did it out of love. A love that you were starting to fear you would never be able to return to.
Tears stung your eyes at that fact. The fact that you may never see your Yoongi again. His sharp tongue, his passion for music, his gummy smile, the way he makes you laugh, his kisses, the night time cuddles, and so much more just gone.
Poof. Vanished. Up in the wind just like your hopes of going home.
“You’re awake. Good. Now we can... Wait are you crying?”
Yoongi moved from the door to the bed, sitting beside you. You could see the slight worry in his eyes and that just made you cry harder.
“I I’m so sorry.” You choke. “I just... I just...”
You didn’t know what you were trying to say. You wanted to tell Yoongi everything. About the library and the book. About how you were thrust into a world where the love of your life was with another woman. Everything, but nothing was coming out.
Your head was spinning and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. It was almost as if someone had put a 50 pound slab of concrete right on your chest and decided to stand on top of it, slowly pushing it further onto you.
Yoongi watched wide eyed. He wasn’t equipped to help you nor did he know how to calm you down. Whenever this happened to him, and thankfully it hasn’t happened in a while, Yoongi just kept to himself.
So he just let his body take over and pulled you into his arms, feeling you shake as you cried against his chest.
Yoongi held you, gently and warmly, it was a complete 180 from this morning when he pushed you for hugging him.
But he still did it anyway.
Yoongi was all you could focus on. The heat from his body, his natural smell, even the weight of his hands on you back.
Everything was just Yoongi.
After what felt like an eternity, which was probably only five minutes, your tears stopped, but neither of you moved. Yoongi held you tightly in his arms, chin resting on top of your head, not saying a word. What was he thinking?
You pull back a little to look up at him, but his arms still didn’t move. Even with dried tears on your cheeks, red eyes, and a flushed face Yoongi thought you were still the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He’s thought that since he saw you in the marketplace.
Which made this all the more harder for him.
Especially when you reached up to cup his cheek in your hand and he instinctively leaned into your touch, scaring him to his core that you had this effect on him, but in the moment it felt good. Like he was being loved.
You smiled. “Thank you, Yoongi.”
Yoongi’s eyes snapped open and he quickly released you, jumping to his feet. He moved so quickly you’d think he was on fire.
He needed to find out who you were and if you were a spy, not holding you. So why did he miss the feel of you in his arms?
Yoongi cleared his throat. “Now that you’re calm, let’s talk. Who are you?”
Sighing, you let your hand drop back down to your lap, since it was still lingering in the air where you held Yoongi’s face, and looked him straight in the eyes.
“Well I can tell you my name is Y/n.” Yoongi nods. “But no matter what I say after that you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
“You really won’t, but okay.” Taking a deep breath, you prepared to lay it all on the table.
“I’m not from this world or time. I’m from the year 2020, which you never wanna see by the way, the world is basically on fire, and I was in this library helping my boyfriend Yoongi, not you Yoongi, my Yoongi, ah that doesn't make sense. Anyway! I was helping him do some research for his history paper. Well we were getting bupkis and he obviously hadn't slept for a good few days, which I tell him all the time isn’t good for him, but he never listens to me, so I told him to get some sleep while I went to get coffee and food. I ended up getting lost in the library and then found this spooky old back room, so like the dumb ass I am, I went to investigate it because it said ‘Ancient Korean Dynasties’. Might as well right? So when I get in there it’s super dark and I end up slipping on a flashlight, which was weird. Like why was it there in the first place? I turned it on and saw a red book with The Tyrant King; Agust D written on the spine. Even though I got an eerie feeling from the book, I opened it anyway. Suddenly there was this big white light and next thing I know I’m getting felt up by creeps and you save me.”
You placed your hand over your chest, trying to catch what little breath you had, before you even dared to glance up at Yoongi and you weren’t surprised with what you saw.
Yoongi stared back at you, eyes wide and full of disbelief. It looked like he was attempting to process what you, very quickly, said, but eventually you heard Yoongi scoff.
“Yeah you’re right,” Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest, “I don’t believe you. What do you mean ‘your Yoongi that isn’t me’? And a book that sucks people into some kind of alternate universe? That’s bullshit.”
You sigh. “Told you, but I promise it’s the truth. Things like that aren't something I could ever make up on my own. I’m not that kind of creative.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes at you, searching your entire face for the slightest hint of a lie, but he couldn’t find anything. Either you were an amazing liar or it was the honest to god truth. While he wanted to continue to be skeptical of you, Yoongi hadn’t seen any other reason not to trust you.
So he did.
“Okay.” Yoongi made his way closer to you again, but didn’t sit on the bed. He couldn’t risk being that close to you. Who was telling what he would do if he was once again under your spell.
“If what you are saying is true, which yeah seems way too crazy for anyone to make up, it sounds like a high level of magic that none of us here can help you with.”
Magic? Like the kind in fairy tales and movies? If that was the case where were you going to find someone that could perform that level of magic? What if you couldn’t? Would you be stuck here forever? You didn’t want to stay here. You wanted to go home to Yoongi and Min Holly.
“But there is someone I know of that could,” Yoongi stated, almost as if he could read your mind and was trying to comfort you somehow, “but the only problem is that he works for the king. Kim Namjoon is kept under lock and key because he is the most powerful warlock there is. So you would just have to stay here until we take that tyrant down and then we can find a way to send you home, okay?”
His small smile and soft eyes was enough to make you feel ten times better. Yoongi was going to help you go home and you wanted nothing more than to hug him. To thank him. To kiss him.
You held yourself back though as that was just the reflex you normally had whenever you saw Yoongi. You had to keep reminding yourself that this wasn’t your Yoongi.
“Well now that that is settled why don’t you get some sleep? You had an eventful day.”
You nodded, a yawn slipping past your lips. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until he had said something.
Picking up the thin blanket, you laid back down on the bed, snuggling up to the pillow, which smelled like Yoongi, and closed your eyes. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Yoongi gave you one last glance before blowing out the candle by the bed and leaving the room. He looked around the main room noting that everyone had gone to bed by now, which made sense considering how late it was. Yoongi should probably turn in as well. Tomorrow was going to be filled with nothing but planning. Their time was drawing near.
Yoongi sighed and made his way across the room, pushing back the curtain that covered Yoona’s door, only to be surprised to find she was still awake.
Yoona was sitting on her bed, long dark hair freed from its usual ponytail, and in nothing but a pair of cotton panties and his shirt.
It was moments like this that Yoongi ever really let himself admire her beauty.
Her skin was pale and soft, only a few scars littered across her otherwise flawless body. The darkness of her hair contrasted with the soft glow of the candle, her eyes pierced him. Yoona smiled warmly up at him.
“I was worried that I would have to go in there again.”
Yoongi scoffed and moved to remove his boots and pants. He shucked off his jacket before placing it on the dresser and taking his shirt off as well. “Nothing to worry about, Yoona. Just an interrogation.”
Yoona didn’t believe it was ‘just an interrogation’ for a second. She had never seen Yoongi act this way before, so of course she felt threatened. He was her man and she wasn’t going to let some mystery girl waltz in and take him from her.
Yoona loved Yoongi more than anything in the entire world.
And she intended to make him remember that.
The moment Yoongi slipped under the covers, Yoona was on him. She kissed his lips slowly, running her nails down his chest, feeling his abs twitch, before kissing her way down his neck where she bit into his skin, surely leaving a mark.
Yoongi groaned and ran his fingers through her hair. “Really Yoona? Now?”
Yoona chuckled at his dry response though she could feel him start to harden against her leg. Yoongi never seemed enthusiastic about sex. She didn’t mind though. His body was always more honest than his words.
“Just sit back Yoongi,” Yoona purred as she straddled his lap, happy to feel him wrap his arms around her waist, “let me take care of my leader.”
Yoongi only hummed in response as Yoona did just that.
Over the next three days, you watched Yoongi and his team prepare for their attack. From looking at the layout of the palace to gathering the weapons they needed.
Everyone was super nice to you and even Taehyung had toned down on the flirting. Especially after Yoongi threatened to break his hand if he attempted to touch you again.
You had almost forgotten that you didn’t originally belong here.
Almost.
Yoona liked to remind you. Not by saying something, oh no, but by hanging on Yoongi every chance she got.
You had noticed her little love bites the first night. Yoona really liked to liter his neck with them. Which made you livid. Seeing marks on Yoongi that weren't yours just made your blood boil and she seemed to know it.
Every morning he would come out of their shared room with either new marks or the old ones were refreshed. You bit your tongue each time, trying not to say anything, but also trying not to cry.
Since the first night Yoongi has been nothing but kind to you. Once he figured out you weren’t some kind of spy and wasn't going to hinder his plans in any way, he figured he might as well get along with you until they could get you home.
Yoongi sighed, getting up from the operation table, before grabbing his jacket and putting it on. “Okay I have to go into the marketplace. There are a few things we need and then we are ready for our attack.”
“I’ll go with you.” Yoona instantly jumped up from her seat, reaching for her white leather jacket as well.
Yoongi stopped her with the wave of his hand. He really couldn’t stand how clingy she was being, which was saying something because she’s always been that way, so to have at least a couple hours without her sounded heavenly.
“No you stay here. I need you to make sure we have all the ammo we need. Y/n why don’t you come with me?”
“Me?”
“Her?!”
“Yes her.” Yoongi rolled his eyes before looking at you, smiling softly. “I’m sure you are tired of wearing the same clothes. We can see what the vendors are selling and get you something else to wear.”
Also if he had to see you walk around in his clothes any longer he may not be able to contain himself.
Yoongi had barely been holding off from touching you again. He could still feel the presence of you in his arms and he craved to feel it again.
The things you were doing to him.
You nod and grab your jacket as well, slipping it on before walking up to him. “Well let’s go.”
You could see Yoona huff out of the corner of your eye as Yoongi led you outside. The sun and heat hit you almost instantly. It was so intense that you wondered why Yoongi always insisted on putting on a jacket before leaving.
Once you were back on the main strip of the marketplace, you could really see how crowded it was.
When you first saw it you were so shaken up that you couldn't appreciate any of the shops. Which was a shame considering how much you loved to go window shopping with Yoongi back in your world.
“There are so many people.”
Yoongi just nods and starts in one direction, motioning you to follow him. “There are. So stay close, okay?
How did he expect you to stay close if he moved through the crowd fluently while you keep bumping into people. Finally having enough, you reach out and grasp the back of his jacket, clutching it tightly.
Yoongi paid you no mind as he continued to weave through the crowd, passing a butcher shop, and finally stopping at a clothing vendor.
There were different variations of shirts, pants, and a few traditional looking hanboks. The fabrics ranged from cotton to what looked almost like a denim material. No matter the material it all looked homemade, which was amazing to think that they sewed it all by themselves. You could never do that.
While you were admiring the clothes that sat on the table in front of you, you didn’t notice Yoongi watching you.
She looks so cute. Yoongi thought, smiling when you picked up one of the shirts and looked at it like it was one of the seven wonders of the world.
Why couldn’t he have met you sooner? Were you really from another world? Well with the feelings you evoked out of Yoongi, feelings he’s never felt before, you might as well be.
But what if Yoongi could get you to stay? Would you? Would you stay here with him?
“Yoongi look!” Your voice brought Yoongi out of his thoughts, your smile almost blinding him.
That was something to worry about in the future, but for now he was just going to enjoy his time with you.
After almost an hour of being out and about you were starting to get comfortable going through the crowd. So comfortable that you had eventually let go of Yoongi’s jacket and wandered ahead of him, but with multiple items of clothes in his arms, Yoongi lost sight of you pretty quickly.
Yoongi looked around to see if he could see you, but nothing.
And then he heard you scream.
Immediately Yoongi threw the clothes to the side, not really caring where they landed, and rushed through the crowd. Pushing person after person trying to catch up to you. Who ever decided to touch you was going to get such an ass kicking.
“Yoongi!”
Yoongi skidded to a stop in front of an alleyway where two huge palace guards were holding you.
One had your left arm while the other had your right, a hand clamped over your mouth. Your eyes were wide and filled with tears, the look of absolute terror. Yoongi’s blood boiled and all he saw was red.
“Let. Her. Go.” Yoongi growled, taking a step forward.
“She is under arrest. King’s orders.”
“I don’t give a FUCK!”
Yoongi was on the guards before they could even respond. His fist collides with one of their faces, the guard dropping his hold on you. With the distraction Yoongi tugged you out of the grip of the other guard and behind him.
Now that he was sure you were safe Yoongi held nothing back, beating the absolute shit out of the two guards.
You had only seen Yoongi this kind of mad once in your life and it honestly terrified you. The rage and pure hatred in his eyes was enough to scare you to the core.
Yoongi huffed over the bodies of the two guards, you could see their chests moving so you knew they were alive, and he wiped some blood off his face. Well tried to because all it did was smear on his cheek and the back of his hand.
You jumped a little as he started towards you. “I I’m fine Yoongi. T thank yo-“
Yoongi cut you off, pulling you tightly into his arms.
The smell of blood and his sweat filled your nose as he pressed you into his chest. You could hear how fast his heartbeat was and feel the slight tremble of his hands.
“Yoongi?”
“Stupid!” He shouted. “I thought I told you to stay close!”
You didn’t know what to say. All you did was wrap your arms around him and clutch your fingers into his jacket.
Yoongi stepped back a little and cupped your face in his hands, inspecting you for any injuries. Once he was satisfied that you were okay, Yoongi let out a sigh of relief, placing his forehead on yours.
“You can’t scare me like that, Y/n.”
“I’m sorry, Yoongi.”
You stared into each other's eyes. The amount of raw emotions in his eyes made you weak, like you were being drawn in by him. As if Yoongi could read your mind, he leaned down and kissed you.
Yoongi smiled against your lips when he felt you kiss him back. Your lips were soft and molded against his perfectly. Nothing could have ruined this moment.
Suddenly Yoona’s hurt face flashed through his mind and he quickly pulled away.
“I’m sorry I shouldn't have done that.”
“Then why did you?”
Yoongi thought about it for a moment. Why did he kiss you? There was just something about you that seemed to memorize him and make him lose all sense of rationality. You were unlike anybody he had ever met.
Yoongi sighed, taking your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. “I don’t know, but you do things to me, Y/n. Things that no one else has ever done to me. You make me crazy and I want to protect you.”
Your heart swelled thinking about his words. They were so sincere that of course you believed him.
“You mean it?”
“I would never lie to you.”
It was almost night time when you and Yoongi returned. It took a little while to calm down after the almost “kidnapping” and then a while longer to find the clothes Yoongi bought.
The moment you walked in Yoona was having a fit.
“What took you guys so long!!” She shrieked from her seat in the front room. She reminded you of those parents that wait for their kids to come home.
You could tell she wanted to say more, but was instantly distracted by the dried blood on Yoongi’s cheek and clothes and his bruised knuckles.
Yoona shot out of her seat, pushing you to the side, and inspected Yoongi. “Oh my god what happened to you?!”
Yoongi just shrugged and went to put the clothes in his room.
“This is all YOUR fault isn’t it?!” Yoona turned her glare to you, the flame in her eyes growing by the second. She grabbed your arm and yanked you so hard it felt like your arm was about to come off.
“Answer me!”
“You’re hurting me! Let go!” You tried to wiggle your arm out of her grasp, but that only caused her to sink her nails into your skin, leaving marks.
“I knew you were going to get Yoongi in trouble the moment you showed up,” Yoona seethes, “now look at him! Bloody and bruised!”
You finally snatched your arm from her grasp. “You think I don’t know that?! I know it was my fault what happened in the marketplace today.” You rubbed the marks on your arm that Yoona’s nails had left. “If only I had listened and stayed close to him.”
Yoona scoffed. “Or you could have just been taken away and none of us would have had to deal with you anymore. Yoongi was right about you, you are just a nuisance.”
“Yoona!”
Both of you turned to see Yoongi standing in the doorway, both bruised fists clutched at his side.
“That is enough.”
“But you said so yourself!” Yoona cried. She could see the anger in his eyes and while it did hurt, she wasn’t going to back down without a fight.
“Is this true Yoongi?”
“Y/n let me explain.”
“Oh my god it is.”
You turned on your heels and tried to leave, but Yoongi quickly caught your wrist.
“Y/n! Please hear me o-”
You yanked your arm out of his grasp. “You said you would never lie to me! You’ve been lying this entire time!”
Not being able to stand being there a moment longer, you turn and run out the front door, ignoring Yoongi when he calls out your name.
You ran and ran. Your lungs burn and your eyes stung from the tears that were falling freely from your eyes.
“Yoongi said you’re a nuisance”
Yoona’s words just kept replaying in your mind. Over and over again. You couldn’t seem to escape them, but what made it worse was Yoongi’s voice was starting to over power hers.
“You’re a nuisance. I can’t believe I ever saved you. You should have died.”
Even though he had never said those words to you, just imagining him saying it was more than enough to tear your heart in two.
After running for a while you were completely lost. You slowed down to look around, but it was so dark that you couldn’t make anything out.
Now that you were only walking and not running, the cold wind was catching up to you, goosebumps running up both of your arms.
It was cold, but where could you go? Certainly not back to Yoongi. Not after that.
Yoongi. You thought about him again. Everything seemed to be going so well with him. The hugs, the kind words, and that kiss.
But of course you were stupid enough to believe his words. He said he would never lie to you, but you were convinced that was a lie too. You knew that he wasn’t yours in this world and there was no way anything was going to happen between you… or was it?
You shook your head, oblivious to the palace guard that saw you walk by.
The guard came out of hiding and grabbed your shoulder. You turned and elbowed him in the face. There was no way you were going to be manhandled again today, but the guard was quick to rebuttal. He grabbed onto your jacket, ripping it off of you as he yanked you back.
You attempted to kick him in the leg, but before you could the guard raised his sword and hit you with the blunt end, knocking you out.
“The king is going to have my head for that.” The guard mumbles as he lifts your limp body off the ground and throws you over his shoulder. “But he did say by any means necessary.”
Shaking his head, the guard started in the direction of the royal palace.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Yoona!” Yoongi shouted at her. Yoona shrank back from the power of his voice.
“S she was getting in the way and besides what does it matter? You belong to me, Yoongi!” She shouted back suddenly getting a burst of bravery.
“I don't belong to anybody.” Yoongi hissed before running out to find you.
He searched the entire village, twice, but couldn’t find you anywhere. Yoongi was starting to fear something had happened to you.
“Y/n!” Yoongi called out, but soon spotted your jacket on the ground. He picked it up and noticed the amount of blood on the fabric.
Yoongi’s heart dropped as he came to realize that you were hurt and missing.
You were gone.
Tag List @mizz-kraziii @queen-of--roses @ugly-wall-flower @flowersgirl02 @sunshine-procrastinate @dulcaet @scorpiomoon @yoongiwillforgiveme @multifandomfantasychild @midaribaby @missingin4ction @gabbien @angiexyoung @thefangirlsoul @galaticmochi
#bts scenarios#bts x reader#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x reader#min yoongi#daechwita#d2#king!yoongi#rebel!yoongi#bts imagines#bts reactions#bts imagine#tbtsstuff#tacoadmin#Back In Time
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I'll keep you warm, stevetony (fluff mayhaps?)
Anon, not gonna lie: I did the prompts in order so the one I did before this were angst and hurt/comfort respectively which made me forgot how to write fluff for a sec. Point is: before I wrote the actual (what I hope) fluff (above cut and some below), I wrote something that leans more to hurt/comfort/soft (some weird genre idk) and I’m including that under the cut just because.
Hope at least one of the below satisfies your fluff need, anon :) (from this list: "I'll keep you warm")
-//-
Steve is something else.
Well, he's many things in the sense that you see or hear him do that and be like, yeah. That sounds like Steve.
But then, there are other things he'd do and nobody would buy Tony when he says: "Steve did that! I swear, Pepper, I'm not exaggerating."
Like right now, coming into the workshop wrapped neck down in their comforter which -
"What are you doing?" Tony asks, jaw slack, voice high and airy in disbelief, mouth agape and eyes wide behind his safety goggles.
Lucky for him, he created JARVIS when he was 21 and had a stroke of brilliance in the middle of an ugly grieving so he doesn't have to suffer a third-degree burn from a hot glue gun today.
Steve though, he plops in front of Tony with his massive comforter wrapped form and burrows into it deeper, letting only baby blue eyes peek out like a damned mole - Jesus Christ - and he whines, "I'm cold."
Tony's mouth snaps close at one. His eyes narrow and he points the glue-gun at Steve. "You," he says, "You, you, you. I know exactly what you're doing."
But Steve is a stubborn, stubborn man. He makes sure he gets what he wants by the sheer force of his will if that's what he's left to give. Or maybe it's Tony who's a weak dumb man when it comes to Steve.
Either way, Steve purses his lips, bats his lashes and tilts his head at an angle. All the while looking at Tony with those baby blue puppy eyes and that's all it takes for Tony to drop the glue gun and groan into his hands.
This is not fair! "Jarvis, I need this footage to show Pepper tomorrow morning," he says, standing up.
Steve straightens up, letting his whole head pop out of the blanket burrito he'd wrapped himself in and Tony makes it a point to chuck his goggles with an extra dose of venom while glaring at him.
"Captain America, they said. Prime man full of virtues, my ass. This!" he points at Steve's exaggerated innocent face. "This is not virtue. This is playing dirty."
"But I'm not Captain America," Steve grins, dropping the facade as he waddles clumsily behind Tony, marching out of the shop; the extra length of the comforter dragging like a tail behind him. "I'm Steve Rogers, making sure my boyfriend comes to bed on time."
Tony waits until they're inside the elevator to stare him up and down and he lets out a defeated sigh, "Still not fair."
Steve smiles, smug and well - he has a very good reason to be, no shit. "All is fair in love and war," he says, chest puffing out in pride.
"No," Tony draws the line. "You say that one more time and I'm going straight back to the shop."
The effect is instant like he'd flicked a switch and Steve goes from a smug bastard to his faux innocent puppy eyes burrowing into his comforter wrap.
"But I am cold." He mumbles into it, blinking up at Tony. "I need you to warm me up."
And the elevator door opens, but Tony has already made up his mind quicker. "Are you now?" He pouts back, cocking his head sideway, playing into whatever his boyfriend's doing.
But the wiggle to his lips betray his mischievous intent spectacularly and Steve's already one foot out of the elevator by the time Tony lunges for him.
Super soldier and their super speed: "Come here, you!" Tony calls, breaking into a jog and God forbid, he'd lived close to half a century of his life; Steve even worse, but also not. He's 33 if they're counting out the years he'd spent in the ice. Still old enough to not run but he is; bolting into their shared bedroom like the devil himself is at his tail, chuckles like chiming bells following his path.
And no, Tony thinks, after the first few feet. He refuses to play chase at this age, but not so much to tickling Steve in the bed once he'd caught up. Asking, "You want me to keep you warm? Huh? Is that what you want? I'll keep you warm. Come here, you big blonde cheat."
All the while Steve's laughing into the pile of comforter he'd shed as soon as he'd accomplished his mission, twitching with every poke and jab to his flanks.
"Uncle!" He gasps. "Uncle, uncle, uncle!"
And Tony lets him go. Breath heaving as he rolls off of Steve, brushing hair out of his eyes. "You asked for this." He tells his panting boyfriend; red in the face, hair mussed, spilling soft all over his face and he looks so precious that Tony has to just cup his face and smack a kiss on his grinning mouth.
"You win," he admits, rolling out of the bed and peeling off his shirt, letting it fall in a lump on the floor as he walks to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"This time!" He shouts back just to make it clear, so Steve doesn't get any wild ideas about fooling Tony again in the future.
He thinks he hears a faint "Every single time," but promptly decides to ignore that.
-//- vers 2 -//-
“Come here,” Steve says, stretched out in bed looking expectant like everything’s perfect.
Any other time, Tony would have leaped at the chance. He’s never been a guy for picket fences and happy endings but sitting in one of Barton’s kid’s rooms changes perspective.
If you look out the window, you can see the barn cum garage and Tony’s been there earlier this afternoon, checking on their tractor, speaking with Fury about stuff and he’d came out of there for hours now but there was a thought he had when he was still inside:
Wood fire is great; Steve could chop the logs and I can work the tractor. We’ll have to discuss who cooks dinner, and there’ll be a kid, a boy running around calling for us, maybe. One day - Maybe.
And that thought’s still swimming in his head.
The thing is, they’re still raw from battle. Just hours ago, they’d almost had a fight (if not for Mrs Barton) and now, Steve’s here on a single bed pretending like that didn’t happen, calling Tony for a cuddle.
“I’m fine.” He says, turning back to the gauntlet he's fiddling with under a low table lamp, straining his eyes behind his glasses.
It’s late summer but something about the secluded farmhouse in the middle of nowhere makes the wind chiller. And his body responds with a shiver when a draft passes by. He looks up, checks the window and he knows it’s closed tight; he did that a minute ago.
“Tony,” Steve sighs, sounding closer than before and when he looks up, he’s right; Steve is closer, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed now - Didn’t even hear him move, which is a surprise, so Tony looks at the bed frame, wondering what material it’s made of.
“Tony,” Steve calls again. Softer.
He looks up. Steve looks weary, but he strains to smile. “Come to bed,” he says. “You need rest.”
And Tony knows he does, but-
But, he doesn’t deserve to rest. He is the reason why all this happened - is happening - in the first place. He caused this - How can he rest?
He goes back to the gauntlet.
And he forgets just how stubborn Steve is until he feels a hand on his shoulder. Then another lands over his, before he can even turn around, to pry the gauntlet from his fingers. “Come on,” Steve says, pressing the words into his temple.
With one hand, he frees the tiny wrench from Tony’s grip while he holds Tony’s head to his mouth with the other, pressing a kiss and he combs his hair back, leaning away, looking into Tony’s eyes when a shiver wrecks down Tony’s spine.
“It’s kinda cold tonight,” he smiles, soft eyes tempting like whiskey on a lonely evening, “Warm me up?” and Tony has to roll his eyes at that.
“What are you? 12?” he snorts. “Is this how you flirt, because Rogers you better count your lucky stars you landed me for your boyfriend. I let you get away with this. Anyone else, I doubt they will.”
“I got blue eyes and blonde hair,” Steve shrugs and it’s lame; Tony knows what he’s doing, knows it’s working, but it’s not like he’s fighting against Steve’s efforts, anyway.
They’re lame; could be better. But it’s past midnight in some unregistered region on earth and they’re tired from fighting his own creation, tired of arguing; it's a picket fence farm with children and everything feels like fairy dreams here.
Tony doesn’t do fairy dreams but Steve makes him want to. He makes him think: maybe - one day.
Maybe that’s why he lets Steve have that satisfaction of pulling him up to his feet and onto the bed.
Maybe that’s why he lets Steve tuck his head under his chin and says, “I’ll keep you warm, super soldier.”
#stony#i love them in case that hasn't been made clear yet#stevetony#mine#prompts#HOW DO I KEEP INJECTING MY REPLY INTO ASKBOXS??? ASKSJSJSKS
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King Taeyong | 2
Taeyong x ballerina!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, angst, fantasy!au
Summary: Lee Taeyong is slowly changing your life making you happier that you could ever be. He made you happy but you didn’t know why he left you without saying a word. Will he come back?
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: Unprotected sex and whole lot of filth lol but not too much, swearing, insecurity, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols but not too much
Note: The fantasy part will take part next chapter hihi enjoy the filth in this chapter. And Jaehyun is here hihi
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
You welcomed Lee Taeyong in your life without any hesitation and it is the best decision you made. Your apartment is slowly having life, pictures of you and Taeyong scattered on every corner as if its a reminder that you have him and that you’re not dreaming, his things are neatly stacked on his small space in your apartment, you wear his clothes almost everyday because they’re really comfortable.
A normal day with Taeyong goes like this: You wake up from a great fuck from last night, you cuddle in bed in the morning still sore from fucking and if you’re lucky enough he will fuck you before breakfast, you make him a heavy breakfast he makes you good coffee, he tries to tie your hair but fails everyday and tells you he will get it right someday.
Slowly you meet people in his life, and he tells you about his company and what he really does at work when he’s not with you. Finding out that Taeyong builds schools and children’s home makes your heart bursts into happiness because you know his heart is genuine and true. You met Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny you think that all four of them are really handsome.
One morning while he was trying to tie your hair, he told you that he needs to be gone for a few days because of work and the thought of not seeing him even just for a day is already heavy for you. “I understand, but how long?” you turned to face him, your hair is still a mess.
“I dont know actually. This might take a while.” he can feel your sadness already so he hugged you from behind and peppered you with kisses. “I’ll make it up to you when I got back. I promise.” You smiled and told him you understand his line of work, you told him to come grocery shopping with you and have dinner tonight before he leaves, he agrees.
When you got back from the grocery store with Taeyong, a man almost looked like a prince is waiting for you outside your apartment. You were surprised and you almost dropped the bag that you’re carrying.
“Jaehyun”
He turned around and smiled at you flashing those cute dimples. He helped you with the grocery bags and you hugged him tightly cupping his face telling him you missed him so much and that its been a long time. Jaehyun has purple hair now, and you noticed and complements his white skin and you told him he looks handsome than ever. Taeyong clears his throat and was waiting for you to introduce the man to him. He almost got jealous.
“Oh I’m sorry. Taeyong, this is Jaehyun. My childhood friend-“
“And her future husband” Jaehyun offers his right hand for a shake and mocking smile.
Taeyong is now jealous. He shakes Jaehyun’s hand nonetheless. “Very funny Jaehyun we both know that’s impossible” you but in and invited him inside.
Jaehyun noticed your apartment changed a lot, he saw the pictures of you and Taeyong almost annoyed seeing Taeyong’s face everywhere. To be honest Jaehyun was not pleased about Taeyong and they’re both giving each other hard glances the whole dinner time. Jaehyun smells trouble all over Taeyong but he can’t say that to you because you never listen to him.
“So Jae, what brings you here?” you asked him finally fixing him a plate of pasta. “Well, you dont visit nowadays? Is there something wrong?” Jaehyun answered with a concerned tone, little did he know you’re far from being sad because Taeyong makes you happy.
“Well maybe if you watch her perform you would know that she’s busy doing what she loves” Taeyong answered for you, not removing his eyes on Jaehyun.
“Y/n,” he points at Taeyong across the table, “another hookup? you never learn” that hurt, you thought. But you cant be mad to Jaehyun, you’re sure he didn’t mean it. Taeyong on the other hand is just looking at you as if he’s waiting for you to defend him from Jaehyun.
To be honest you don’t know Taeyong’s role in your life but one thing is for sure, he’s the one who makes you happy every single day, he changed your life. On second thought, yeah Taeyong what are we? You turned to Jaehyun and gave him a cold look, “Jaehyun, be nice.”
Jaehyun drinks his glass of wine in one chug and stands up from where he’s seated, leans on the table both of his arms supporting him and looks at Taeyong. “A lot of assholes already left in that door and I know them all. They never stayed because they’re too dumb to know y/n’s worth.” he walks towards your door and collects his jacket ready to leave.
“Oh btw. If she says no fucking tonight. She means it. That shit really hurts her down there. Hope you don’t fuck her then let her dance the next day” and Jaehyun slams the door.
That hurt Taeyong the most because he didn’t know. He didn’t know because you never told him and it made you guilty. Clearly Jaehyun knew you too well to know those kinds of stuff about you, Taeyong thought. His mind wonders about your relationship with Jaehyun but he sees you upset already.
You cleared the table and stayed silent the whole night. You didn’t know how to face Taeyong or where to start to explaining. You were scared that Taeyong might be angry with you and that he will leave tomorrow morning angry. That will hurt your feelings more than anything and you will never forgive Jaehyun if that happens. But just like Jaehyun, Taeyong knows what you feel in his own way. And now he knows you’re hurt, he hugged you from behind while you dry the plates and stayed there for a while.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know” Taeyong whispered. It melts your heart because he didn’t do anything wrong and you cant explain it to him because you’re ashamed.
“Baby, I dont know what to say right now. It hurts, yes. But that shit is normal. Every other girl who gets a good fuck knows that” you explained almost looking like you’re angry but you’re not.
“Just please…From now on, you will tell me okay?” he used it again. That tone that will make you follow him whatever it is that he’s telling you to do. It’s that tone that makes you follow him without arguing further. Then everything is okay again. Jaehyun is stupid, you thought.
You feel the familiar soft kisses on your nape, slowly going down to the sides of your neck and it feels so good you can feel all the tension leave your body the moment Taeyong kisses you softly. You turned around and encircled your arms around his neck giving sweet kisses that he deserves.
“I’m sorry about Jaehyun” you said in between kissing him, “I know I have a lot of explaining to do” you add. He slips hand inside your shirt and draw small circles behind your back. “Explain later. For now, let’s enjoy the time we have, please. He already took a lot of my time with you” Taeyong walks you to your bedroom, kissing you nonstop whispering your praises.
It was raining outside, thunders here and there but you know Taeyong will keep you warm for the night, he always does. He will leave after breakfast tomorrow and you dont want to waste even a second with him.
Already both naked and ready for a good fuck, you can feel that he’s already hesitating on having sex with you because of what Jaehyun told him earlier. Trying to get him naked, you initiate and made the first move telling him, “baby, its okay. Fuck me good like you normally do” you tell him in between wet kisses.
You kiss him deeply letting him know that it’s okay to touch you. Guiding his hands all over your body where he feels good, he whispers sweet things to you saying that you’re in good hands and that he’s not going to leave like the other jerks. That familiar heat creeps in your body already, the heat only Taeyong could provide.
It was a slow start but you make sure that tonight everything is okay. He was standing beside your bed and you’re sitting on the edge, spreading your legs wide for him and kissing him hungrily. You reached for his hand, kissed it and sucked two fingers and made him finger you while you sit on the edge of the bed. You grind slowly on his fingers, you almost looked filthy in your own eyes but Taeyong deserves this. Putting yourself on edge in front of him while looking him in the eye, you make sweet moans that turns him on.
In his eyes, you look so beautiful and hot with parted lips and grinding in front of him while his fingers fucks you. That was enough head start to make him hard and to drive him crazy. “It wont hurt me baby” you told him while pulling him to bed and make him hover you feeling his soft flawless skin.
And so he did. He kissed the insides of your thighs wetting it with his spit. Intertwining his hands to with yours so you could grip it whenever you feel good. Lining his cock in your pussy, teasing you enough to make you shudder beneath him. You asked him again to fuck you hard like he usually do, telling him again and again thats its okay. You smile while you moan and moan while he tease your pussy, looking at him directly in his eyes because he’s so handsome.
“Baby stop doing that. I’ll cum. You’re driving me crazy.” He whispers in your ear and that made you both chuckle. He grips your boobs making you gasps, pinching your sensitive nipples. Soon the small laugh you both let out turned in to groans and long moans. He enters you slowly, feeling your walls and savouring it. Pulling his cock back and smirked in front of you. Seeing you how fucked up you are right now makes him hard even more.
He did it again, and again to make you crazy. Taeyong’s cock was not inside you fully he’s doing it on purpose. “Not yet.” He’s always like that you thought, he’s saving the deep thrust for later.
“Can you wait a little more?” he whispers beside you again making you frustrated already. But he pushes inside without telling you, slow and deep. You let out a louder moan than earlier. “Tae... what the fuck” is all you can say on how good he feels right now. He let out a small laugh starting to fuck you already, no more playing games. You peeked down there and you saw how Taeyong’s cock enters you slowly, his big cock goes inside you smoothly. “Can’t believe that can fit inside me Tae” you managed to tell him with short breaths and you closed your eyes trying to feel and savour the feeling, you hear him pant.
A loud smack echoed in the room, you opened your eyes and sharply moaned when his hand slaps your ass. He did it several times, making you wetter than ever his thrusts going smoother because of your juices. He turned you on your side and lifted your right leg, the new positions makes you dizzy in a good way. Soft kisses planted on your lifted leg but his cock demands attention, “fuck Tae! Hmm - baby, you found my spot!” You cum when he looks at you in the eye full of love and lust at the same time. You’re lost in his eyes.
After your first orgasm, he pulls out and kissed you as if he’s saying, ‘take a rest’ but instead he said “First of many for tonight babe” while catching his breath. Kissing you deeply, cock still inside, that means he’s prepping you for another round. “Can I fuck you from behind?” He asked so sweetly, you can only nod feeling tired and sleepy.
Fucking from behind is your favorite position, it feels good but it’s intimate and wild at the same time. As he fucks you from behind you, Taeyong gave you multiple orgasms already, your legs are wide open for a better angle and he fucks you deeper than earlier. He fucks so good while whispering sweet things behind you, it helps you cum so fast you lost count how many orgasms you have already.
He’s cupping your breast and playing with your hard nipples and pushing a finger in on your clit and just let him do whatever he wants to you while you come down from your previous orgasm. Spreading your legs wide for him, waiting for you to come down from your high, he licks your dripping cunt from behind, slowly like eating ice cream. You shiver, you feel your legs being weak. He felt that you’re already tired but he wants to do something you will never forget even when you wake up in the morning.
Still high from the last orgasm, nerves still sensitive from overstimulation. He lays you flat on the mattress again giving you wet kisses on your chest and grinds on your pussy occasionally, not fully putting his cock inside. As usual.
“Baby I can feel that you’re tired already” he whispers in your ear nibbling your earlobe. You feel his cock poke your pussy and it surprises you how he’s hard again. He teases your entrance while devouring your neck, still so wet and you feel him making a move again as he spreads your legs preparing you for another round but you’re really tired you cant even talk. You pant and you almost push Taeyong away as a sign that you cant take it anymore, that it’s already too much but he has other plans.
He has a smirk on his face and you can see that he’s tired too but hes pushing. Knowing that you can’t talk, he made you a deal while he fingers your pussy slowly, letting out a whine as he makes you listen to him. For every question that will be left un answered he will continue fucking you senseless and hard. But if you gather your strength and answer his questions immediately, he will slow down and will stop fucking you.
“Ready? Don’t disappoint me now. We’ve come so far” He fingers you while watching you so fucked up beneath him, legs spreading wide waiting for his question.
He’s enjoying this.
Taeyong stopped fingering you and grabbed his cock, the tip of his cock is ready to enter you and he grinds softly so you both dont have rest from the sensation that hes giving.
“What do you want......-“ he slams in you groaning how good feel around his cock again, giving you hard thrusts already. “ for breakfast?” he continues the question.
You really cant compose your sentence because of the way he’s fucking you hard, your breasts are bouncing up and down because of his quick thrusts. You cant even think of a meal for breakfast but you force yourself to answer, “ eggs...oh fuck-“ hes not satisfied, “with bacon and - Taeyong!” You pant and let out heavy breaths, you cant hardly finish your sentence.
“You want me for breakfast?” He chuckled and fucks you hard still.
“Eggs...!” You pant, “ bacon... avo...cado, bread! AAH!” You moan hard and tried to grasp anything form the bed.
“Good” he responds, reducing the way he fucks you for the mean time but still not stopping. “Last question.” He said while he thumbs your clit too. Leaning towards you and kissing you hard, wet kisses on your neck.
“Will you be my girlfriend? Be mine?” he asked, you can hear his pants and deep moans letting you know he’s almost there. Even though he’s fucking you and the both of you are already tired and worked up, you still see how he patiently waits for your answer. Hoping you would say yes.
And with that question, he instantly fucks you slow and good. As if turning everything whats happening into love making in just a second. You were really surprised with how good he fucks you right now and knowing the situation, it put you in tears.
You were crying already, letting out sweet moans, you just want to cum. But the question. Oh the question. You want to say yes but you’re reaching your edge and in any second you will reach your climax for nth time tonight.
Forcing yourself to let out an airy “yes” that he didn’t catch, he’s not stopping and it makes you even crazy. Why aren’t you stopping.
“Baby?” He leans in on you giving you soft kisses while he thrust slow and deep, holding and intertwining both of your hands above your head feeling the fluffy pillows.
“Be with me forever?” He asked again.
“Yes!” You answered almost a scream, letting out a loud moan. You both reached your high and he stopped thrusting immediately, his cock still inside you. Showering you kisses all over your face because of happiness. Taeyong gathered his strength and pulled out. Cleaning every inch of your body, careful not to make you shiver with his touch. Chanting his apologies for being rough. You didn’t want him to say sorry because you were happy for everything he made you feel tonight.
“I love you” you reached for his face, “Lee Taeyong”
Both of you cant sleep even though you’re both tired. You made coffee and finally talked about what happened earlier during dinner, you offered a massage because you can feel that he’s exhausted. Stealing kisses on his soft skin when you can.
“So... Jaehyun “ Taeyong looks to you while sipping his hot coffee kissing your hands on his shoulders. “Oh right well, one thing is for sure he’s not a threat or anything. He’s just overprotective because we had a history” you explained while continuing to massage him.
“Uh huh. And what kind of history is that?” He comes closer to you, making you stop from what you were doing.
You explained that Jaehyun is family, his family is close to your family for as long as you could remember. And that one day he decided to fall in love you but you dont feel the same way. His mother and your mother likes the idea of the two of you being together, so they kind of forced you and Jaehyun to have a relationship. Your mother suggested to give Jaehyun a chance because he’s a nice guy and he’s a perfect husband material. You agreed but you really dont have feelings for him and that you see Jaehyun as a brother. As you move in for college, Jaehyun volunteered to take care of you while you’re away from home. He took care of you most of the time so you decided to give it a shot. You were a senior by the time you and Jaehyun had sex for the first time. He was your first.
“So thats why he knows how your body works! That-“ you cut him off with a kiss before he even finish his sentence.
“We were young and crazy that time please understand. And you know how senior year stresses your life out.”
No I never went to college, Im a King. Taeyong thought. But he just shook his head and let out a loud sigh.
“We only have each other by that time, I help him study he takes care of me. We went out for some time. But it never worked out between us because I really don’t feel anything for him” you kissed Taeyong and snuggled beside him, “and that was a long time ago Taeyong....He’s married now” you let out a small laugh and looked at him, his face completely in shock. “He’s just protective because I’ve been with guys that aren’t nice enough to stay for breakfast.”
Taeyong feels sorry what he did earlier. If he only knew… but he still wanted to punch Jaehyun in the face for making him feel like shit in front of you earlier.
“What time are you going to leave? The sun is almost out now.” You asked, playing with the softness of his hands. “In an hour” you hummed acknowledging him and just looking at the sky through the window. “I know a place where we can see beautiful sunrise while holding each other like this. One day I’ll bring you there.” Taeyong softly whispers behind you.
Taeyong left for his business trip and you feel lonelier than ever but you thought it’s fine, he will come back. And that it’s for you to stop thinking that one day he will leave you. He told you to go to his office every time you feel lonely and Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny can keep you company. It pains you to see Taeyong leave.
You cary on with your life, did daily routine without Taeyong and you miss him more everyday.
2 weeks
Still no Taeyong.
Someone rang the doorbell, you only hope it was Taeyong but it’s just amazon.
1 month
It’s been a month since he left, you already cannot believe this was happening. You check if meeting Taeyong was only a dream but no, he’s 100% real. Happy pictures of you and him are scattered around your apartment and his things are nicely placed. Where are you?
Christmas season
It’s Christmas eve and you went home to your family. Hoping to spend Christmas with Taeyong was too much you thought. Your plan on introducing Taeyong to your parents is cancelled and it pains you more because he’s been a really big part of your life already.
You and Jaehyun had wine and enjoyed Christmas eve with your family and his family. Seeing Jaehyun and Jinsoul happily married makes your heart at ease for you know that Jaehyun is in good hands and that love is real, and someday you’ll find yours. Being home makes you happy and alive, you just cant be alone and spend Christmas in your apartment full off good memories with Taeyong.
“Im surprised you didn’t bring him” Jaehyun broke the silence. “He has a business trip” is all you can say because thats all you know. He sincerely apologised about what happened last time and you said that it was fine, you got hurt but you told him you know he’s just being protective. “Damn right I am.” He said while laughing, he told you that they’ve been trying to have a baby and for some reason, Jinsoul just cant get pregnant. “Jae... Im happy for you!” You clap your hands and told him to just hang in there and just try and try.
“Merry Christmas y/n” and you greeted him back.
Taeyong. Come back please. You let out a whisper while looking at the snow outside, wondering where Taeyong is now.
He missed Christmas, New years, your birthday, and Valentines. You thought, enough is enough and that you waited long enough for him. “business trip my ass” you said while putting everything that reminds you of him in a box. You fixed your apartment and you asked Jaehyun to redecorate it with you.
“Im sorry I asked you to redecorate my apartment on your birthday” you apologised while you push the cart around, looking for stuff you need for your apartment. “Its okay! Im not doing anything today. Me and Jinsoul celebrate in advance don’t worry. My wife is busy at work so we cant celebrate today.” You feel sorry for Jaehyun but you told him at least he has you and he can celebrate with you instead.
Sage green walls, new couch, pictures of you and your friends... you love the new look of your apartment all thanks to Jaehyun for the help.
You baked a cake for him and he was really happy about it. “Just like the old times” he said and he ate a big piece and starts moaning telling you how good the cake is. “I think you should start your own bakery” Jaehyun suggests. Its not a bad idea, now that you’re resting from dance, its not so bad to start baking again. “Yeah I think, I will” you said to Jaehyun.
“Hows everything with the baby.... making?” You asked Jaehyun awkwardly while eating a spoonful of cake.
“Still not good. I’m starting to worry actually, but she had a check up... actually we both did, and the doctor said there’s nothing wrong us. Its just maybe, due to the stress?” Jaehyun let out a sigh getting more cake.
He went home pretty late after finishing three bottles of wine with you, leaving you and your new apartment all alone. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore you thought, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol. But whatever the reason is, you’re ready to move forward and just forget about Taeyong.
Months passed by, you focus on doing what you love, baking. You took extra baking classes to feed your soul and passion more, and you take big risks to make your dream of having a small bakery come true. When you’re not baking or not learning, you make sure to spend time with your family and friends. No more hook ups. Not because you’re still waiting on Taeyong, but because you’re tired of having temporary relationships that wastes your time. Good thing your cakes are selling pretty good and you have baking to make you happy.
Life is finally better. You learned that self love comes first always and the rest will follow. Being alone made you happy in life more.
Until one day you were taking a rest while you’re waiting for your cupcakes to cool down, the doorbell rang expecting it to be Jaehyun.
Without looking through the peephole, you opened the door with a smile hoping to see your best friend’s beautiful dimples. But all you can see is flowers, an arrangement of beautiful flowers almost as big as the man carrying it.
Wrong flower delivery you guessed. He puts down the flowers and it was someone you know. And it was not Jaehyun.
“Y/n...”
You closed the door with a loud bang not wanting to believe who just appeared in your doorstep. Suddenly all the happy memories came back, rushing in your brain all at once, remembering how you’ve been so hurt while waiting for him to come back.
Taeyong knocks again not saying anything. You didn’t have a choice and you let Taeyong inside your apartment. Gathering all your strength to say that you want to end this relationship or whatever it is that you both have, you just want to live peacefully.
---------------------------
It just so happens that Taeyong is away in real life for now. huhuhu
#nct-writers#neowritingsnet#cznnet#nct taeyong#taeyong smut#nct smut#nct imagines#kpop fic#nct scenarios#nct imagine#smut#taeyong fluff#taeyong angst
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