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#i love this man and his self awareness and his humor oh my GOD
Note
May I please ask for a self aware au headcanon of Malleus, Lilia, and Sebek reacting to a player that tries to share their own religious views from back home with them? I find the irony and potential humor of that situation interesting.
Self-aware au
I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, imprisonment, murder, blood, religion, obsession, death, possessiveness, unhealthy mindset
(My works are for entertainment and not meant seriously! Please believe in whatever religion you would like! Or don't. That's up to you.)
Malleus Draconia/Lilia Vanrouge/Sebek Zigvolt-Player tries to share their religious beliefs
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You have broken your local friendly (and not so harmless) neighbour fae
Why is God believing in... another higher power?
Wait... DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS A HIERARCHY WHTHIN THE GODLY SOCIETY??!
(Well since us being God is more or less something they came up with themselves and because we live in a society in which we need some sort of law and order... yes. Apparently there is a hierarchy in our “godly” society)
Or maybe someone had stolen your position and now you are damned to wander as a mortal in the world you created??!
Please get this madman some ice cream... I can see smoke coming from his mouth
And then you get deeper into the details of your belief, telling him about certain days on which you celebrate things...
Does that mean that you are unhappy with how they celebrate you your holiness?
Malleus is already done writing the letter for his grandmother in which this is recorded and is about to send the thing
Please stop him! We don't know what a bunch of religious fanatics would do if they found out that their God is unhappy with them...
Just try to keep your teachings to a minimum ok?
And please do tell him that you don't want to wage a war against some religion from another world
The poor man just looks so confused and like he is ready to just bang his head against a wall (poor wall! Won't survive that...)
If you also share your beliefs with others, please tell them to keep your discussion to themselves
We wouldn't want our oh so lovely follower to believe that they are challenging us with that other higher power? Right?
So many broken limbs and red... paint
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Ok he is calm. He is chill.
Just sipping tomato juice out of a wine glass whilst listening interested
... You do get that I am just joking, right?
You actually believed that Lillia, the man himself, would accept this kind of thing?
You were the only light he had in the days he was still wearing his armour and now you say that some... heathen puts themselves above you
This man is full on delusional
He would rather create a story that doesn't make any sense in his head than accept that maybe, maybe you aren't that holy figure he always saw you as
Because if he were to admit that you weren't who they thought you were then what was the point of it all?
What was the point of the war?
What was the point of him grasping an old friend's hand whilst watching how the light left their eyes?
No, he would rather say that this other higher being has corrupted your thoughts and made you its marionette
So the second someone dares to say that they are interested in your belief his sword is sharpened and he is uh... making them the size of their head shorter
All whilst following Malleus orders
But even Liliaknows that he would have done this even if Malleus hadn't told him to do it
Now how should he twist your mind to make you remember you once more that you are God?
On well, there is always the good old “keeping them in a room all alone until they do everything you ask them to do because of pure loneliness”
How... fun...
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Excuse me for a second, I need to get my headphones so that my poor ears are at least somewhat protected
He was raised by Lilia
What do you expect me to say? That he all calm and accepting and is fully on your side about believing in whatever you want?
Nah. I would recommend going to a doctor afterwards. You know, your poor ears...
But the day was sunny, the birds were chirping and Sebek was higher than cloud nine because he was sipping tea with the Overseer
Or rather was
Rook was very confused about why birds were suddenly leaving the forest in panic but he is a different kind of dilemma so moving on
After you had told him about your beliefs he had stared at you for a second or two before doing irreversible damage to your ears in the form of “WHAT??!”
Prepare to be picked up (whilst he apologizes), carried towards Diasomnia (whilst he apologizes) and held up high whilst he screams something about you being used for an evil scheme (after he apologized)
So... how is your new room with all the locks doing for you? Those bars in front of the window are made out of gold... just saying...
And who could be guarding your room other than Sebek?
Man over here volunteered
Lilia had to feed him some potion so the half-fae would finally go to sleep after three days of just standing in front of your door
Also, small talk to get out doesn't do it
He is determined to make you understand ”who you truly are” or something like that
So since Lilia isn't cooking during you “visit” how is the food?
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Could you make one of the "public" reacting to the Lenny/Midge relationship?
Or maybe Penny Pann seeing them and judging 😅
COMEDY AND CUPID?
by L Roy Dunham
Dear readers, it seems that our city's most tasteless comic has found herself a man.
That's right. Mrs. Maisel - she of the unfunny punchline and former burlesque MC duties, now currently in-house comic for Gordon Ford - has found a new romance with one Lenny Bruce. They were spotted walking hand-in-hand in Midtown a few nights ago, and even sharing what looked to be a rather steamy embrace.
Are we really surprised? Mrs. Maisel got her start opening for Bruce at the Gaslight when Sophie Lennon had tried to blackball her from the local clubs (a valiant endeavor). They've been popping up at each other's shows for a number of years at this point. It was only a matter of time before the relationship went public.
With her shiny new television spot and his run at Carnegie Hall followed by his Chicago charges being dropped, it's no wonder the two are now being a little less conspicuous about a relationship that has likely being going on for a while.
So what does this all mean?
Likely that she truly did get her start by opening for Bruce in a number of different ways. Certainly that comedy for Maisel has been a mere husband hunt.
And seemingly, she's found one.
Good for you, Mrs. Maisel. May you remarry, and go back to your Jell-O molds, never to grace our comedy clubs again.
The New Feminine School of Comedy, Jewishness and the Art of Minding One's Own Business
By Lenny Bruce
I suppose I can press pause on my history of comedy and the modern sense of humor series to address some things. Right? That's allowed. Sure.
Yes, I am seeing a very funny lady that I have known for a number of years. We have been friends for a while, and things have progressed into romance. They do that from time to time. It's fairly common actually, for consenting adults to one day look at someone they like or admire or even care for and think "Oh. It's you."
It even happens to us celebrities.
Let's get down to it:
Now, Timmy. When a man and a woman love each other very much -
Wait, wrong lecture.
Right.
This paper has printed quite a few articles about how unfunny Midge Maisel is. Her humor is not for everyone, I suppose. It's very feminine, which is a brand of comedy a lot of people just aren't used to yet. It's a new concept for women to go on stage at a smoky club and talk the way men do about their lives. Men have done it for decades, of course, but women are expected to stay in their home kitchens (god forbid they set foot in professional ones, right?), raise their children and die shortly after their husbands do.
But Midge Maisel decided to do something different with the very real pain of being left by a self-centered husband with two children and no job.
She got on a stage and she talked about how much it stinks.
How dare she! Trying things that men do. What nerve. What gall.
Maisel's brand of humor is also very Jewish. She is a Jewish woman who was raised in a Jewish community who is raising her own children in a Jewish community. And I wonder if these hit pieces that the Daily News sees fit to print are veiled attempts at antisemitism. It certainly feels that way sometimes. We are, after all, very easy targets. I bet you can find a few nice old men in Argentina who can confirm that fact.
As a Jew myself, I can tell you that I am deeply aware when I read something that feels strange; when you know you are being singled out because you are Other. Some of these articles feel that way. It's unsettling.
In regards to my relationship with Midge Maisel, that's really no one's business but ours. I suppose if you must pass judgement on two divorced people making a go at something new, you may, but it won't change anything. She makes me laugh. She makes me very happy. I like to think I do those things for her. Ain't love grand?
As a point of order, this will be the only time I address my love life in these articles. Next time, I promise: none of you will have to bother reading anything like this again. Next time, I'll just call my lawyer.
He won't mind hearing from me for a sixth time this week. We've become pals, you know?
Next week, we'll be looking at the concept of The Fool in a historical context and how it bleeds into our modern sensibilities.
Until then, readers.
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I would like your opinion on Frank and/or Matt
Frank
one aspect about them i love: I like that he loves and is extremely protective of kids <3
one aspect i wish more people understood about them: I hate cops that use his logo. No critical thinking or self-awareness >:( I want them to know that Frank himself would hate them for doing that
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: that he's a deadling (aka claims to not believe in God but is actually just mad at Him)
one character i love seeing them interact with: Wolverine and Castle are fun~
one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: Khonshu. I really want him to be Moon Knight/the fist of Khonshu. They belong together (and Marc deserves a break)
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: I don't think I have one :/
Matt
one aspect about them i love: His dry humor. He's so funny but so lame at the same time "I'm wearing pants right" oh my goshhhhhh matttttt ur so annoying
one aspect i wish more people understood about them: In the Netflix(and She-Hulk) canon, I don't think Matt is a player/slut/manwhore. I know the comics he is but I'm talking specifically about the show. He's literally such a romantic. Mr. "Can I kiss you?" & "Hey, maybe next time I'm in town, I can take you out to dinner" & "if we make it... wherever you run, I... I run with you?" I know he's literally a man and I should hit him w my car but to me he's a lesbian
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character: Matt would be so much better if he were Mexican <3
one character i love seeing them interact with: Matt and Elektra 😊
one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more: Well now I want him to meet Harrowhawk and the other nominees. I don't think he'd be too upset about losing to her but I do think he'd be bitter about the cats and the mafia members and Eddie Brock surviving the first round lol
one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character: Can I tell u about my heroes for hire au with wasian!Danny(and everyone else mostly the same) fighting crime and systemic racism and inequality??? Let me tell you about my hfh au--
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Book Suggestions?
As I recently noted I'm re-re-re-reading the Earthsea books (I'll finally get beyond the second one this time!) and while I'm in the midst of it I'm also-
Hey, just taking a step back here for a moment: I'm reading for pleasure again! Like I haven't since I was in my 20s! Holy crap! I won't go into all of it but honestly over the last 15-ish years or so I think I never really gave myself the kind of mental downtime for books that I gave to television and movies, so now I'm taking mental breaks, meditating, doing yoga, journaling, etc, and that means that I can have non-screen time with actual books without quickly falling asleep. Fucking awesome. Loving it. Anyway,
I'm also looking forward to more new stories and I think I like the Earthsea books enough to want more of the same. Any suggestions?
*psst, Chris, what does that mean? more of the same? what does that mean to you?*
Oh, right. Um. Hmm.
How about this: although he's on a hero's journey the story of Ged (again, at least through the first two novels) is of a boy on the hero's journey, focusing largely on his own self discovery and the actions he must take in his world, with what understanding and experiences he has, to navigate his life as well as he can and eventually to not only do so without causing harm or disturbing the equilibrium of all things but possibly right some wrongs and help people here and there where he can. It's a magical world where technology doesn't seem to have gotten any farther than discovering that magnets exist; in other words it's about as advanced as the European Middle Ages, like most Western-oriented fantasy books. And while there are dragons and kings and armies they're really not the focus of the book. Any suggestions?
*good, but can you possibly boil that down any further?*
FINE
Hero's journey (optional but likely unavoidable)
Self-discovery & new connections
Earthy & magical
A time of herbs and leather; candles and crops; everyone is still more or less subject to seasons and the wild world at large
Maybe there's nothing else quite like what I'm looking-
Have you tried 'The Lord Of The Rings?'
Yes yes, shut up, go away. I have and I'm done with it, okay? We all don't always need to go back to the godfather of it all in his overflowingness to get a bit, a crumb, a taste of what we like or are looking for. Like Ursula K. Le Guin there are other authors and other stories, and we can read and appreciate them as well. Speaking of which, no TERF authors, either. You know who I mean, but also no known bigots, thank you.
And I'm well aware of the Discworld books ('Small Gods' is one of my favorite books of all time) but I've barely delved into it, and I might be looking for something less humorous, but I'm not against any suggestions from that series!
And if it's YA...I guess I'm not against it but I'm not really into teen romance? As a middle aged man? You know?
And as it is I've already got a lot that I've saved from my searches here and there and from Amazon specifically (yes, I know they're the devil, but they kinda still do this book thing):
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But I also like direct suggestions.
Anyway, my long ramble-y post is intended to entertain you enough to make a suggestion if you've come this far. And even if you don't have a suggestion maybe you've been lightly entertained along the way, because I'm kinda starting out without a compass and I know you nerds have one or two or 500 books up your sleeves. And nothing has to conform to exactly what I'm looking for; it's just what I've enjoyed so far.
And thank you!
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omg i Need to know what you think of scream i hope you are enjoying it :D
i have no idea when you sent this and i’m only just now seeing it because well. i was watching scream 3 LMAO they’re so good oh my god. they have a meta self-awareness where they kind of make fun of themselves but not in the annoying insincere “i refuse to genuinely commit to anything in my genre” way that the mcu does, it’s just really fun to watch. honestly considering how good the second one was, i think the third one could have been a little less racist (only black guy was played for comic relief and i think given kind of a cartoonish blackcent?) but MAN the twist ending of the first one, the way the sequels build off of it without fully retconning anything, the way sid develops and gale gets that redemption arc, it’s great. tbh i think dewey’s character may have gotten a little watered down in the third one and his and gale’s ‘will they won’t they’ got a little tiresome by then, so it was nice to see that resolved. RANDY THO IM SO UPSET ABOUT HIM I LOVED HIM i mean looking past the obvious “‘nice guy’ thinks he’s entitled to girl” thing he had going on, which lets be real he was never too pushy *to sid* about, he was just such a fun and clever character, and when he had that tape in the third one UGH it was just fantastic. currently it’s almost 1am and i’m considering finishing off with scream 4 just to do it all basically at once but idk we’ll see. i absolutely love them though, awful choice for my getting into horror movies bc i feel like nothing will do better then this, with the clever self-awareness and fucked up humor that i love
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missskzbiased · 3 years
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The Things We Don’t Tell
Summary: You were sure your life was written and directed to fit a sketchy Rom-Com and nobody could convince you otherwise. First, your boss was too hot to be true, and burning with desire didn’t even begin to explain the tingling sensations he left on you. Second, your coworker (a.k.a. Ex-About-to-be-FWB) insisted in turning your life into a living hell, which wasn’t the exact kind of hotness you were into. And if having these two hot men around you every single day of your life wasn’t enough to prove it, maybe the threat of your slutty secret identity about to be busted would be… But you couldn’t let this happen.
WC: 7,5 K
Genre: Smut, Humor (?)
AUs: Office, Enemies to Lovers
Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin X Fem!Reader X Bang Chan  
(Not really a love triangle as Hyunjin is the Lead. However, Reader wants to Bang Chan)
Rebloggable Masterlist    //   Main Masterlist   //   Tag List
Warnings: Language, Thigh riding, Public space (Office), Exhibitionism, Possessiveness, Pet Name (Baby girl), Sir Kink  
[If I forgot anything, please let me know! I’m kinda sleepy right now]
Notes: There will be at least one more chapter but I won’t do a tag list post for now, only if someone wants it, cuz I’m too lazy to think about doing it right now. This fic is an attempt to experiment with some writing style things that I’ve been wanting to try. I don’t think it worked, tho SUHAHUSAUHSUHA But that’s life
- I’ll quite possibly change the title in the future-
                                                            ///
  You are a superhero.
    Okay! To be honest, you may be exaggerating a little bit ─ a tiny harmless little bit ─ but that was how you felt every single day of your life, alright? You had this glorious and mysterious side of yours that you hid from everyone else in the world… That mask that you couldn’t let come to the ground and would fight for dear life to protect… That side to your persona that no one was allowed to meet… The fierce, bold, and dark aspects of your soul that—
    “Y/N! I want those papers on my table!”
    “Yes, sir!” You shrieked in an embarrassing (not even slightly bold) way.
    — That you couldn’t show at your work.
    Yeah… So maybe no one actually thought of you as a superhero, but you really believed someone should start to. Was there something that different between your life and those low-budget TV shows people seem to enjoy so much? You didn’t think so.
  To be fair, sometimes you felt like someone wrote a questionable script and poorly directed your life to fit you as the leading lady of a sketchy rom-com. As if they just focused on checking out every point on a bullet list made up with rules for a successful superhero office drama that wasn’t even that good…
    … And speaking of which…
    Rule Number One: The stern (maybe kinda attractive) boss!
    If you had to define Bang Chan with a couple of adjectives, you would choose undeniably beautiful ─ extremely professional of you because the right words to describe him were fucking hot ─ and committed. Fortunately, it wasn’t an “I have someone waiting for me at home and a bunch of kids I must put to sleep” kind of commitment, which would destroy your hopes of having this man one day. Unfortunately, it was an “I’m better than the header and gonna run this company by tomorrow night” kind of commitment, which destroys your hopes of a peaceful day at work.
    Now, it’s not like you don’t want to do your job! It’s just that you didn’t sign up to be Bang Chan’s perfect little toy ─ definitely not the better words to describe it ─ and you didn’t expect to be joined by the hips ─ really? ─ with him or any of your coworkers. The thing is that Bang Chan wants to be on top ─ someone has to stop you ─ and he believes the only way to get there is to work as a team and be as perfect as one can be. In other words, Bang Chan wants absolutely everything and everyone to be neat, tight, and ready to be used ─ again… Not the better way to put your thoughts into words ─, but this just wasn’t who you were.  
    It also wasn’t the point right now.
    The point right now should be the fact that Bang Chan was striding to his office looking like he owned the whole damn place… If this was a movie, the camera would be focusing on his expensive, black leather shoes before scanning all the way up to his waist in slow motion. The scene would zoom in on his fine ass only to go a little bit up and catch the shiny, black belt wrapping around his figure. The outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination, but you had a hell of a productive mind… You could think of a few things you shouldn’t really be thinking about right now.
    Bang Chan didn’t seem to understand he was at work either.
    He rolled his sleeve up in a sexy motion that should be illegal. It isn’t. You can tell by the way there are no cops bursting inside the building and arresting this gorgeous son of a bitch.
    The lack of any authorities to stop this atrocious moment had you lowering your gaze to your desk ─ a vain attempt to ignore the way his forearms flexed as he gestured and ordered people around. If you were a little bit less professional, you would have some ideas of how he could do it in bed. With you. But you weren’t some kind of creepy perv who would be fantasizing about riding your own boss from dusk till dawn.
    Not at all.
    “Do you need me, Sir?” His secretary asks politely.
  A question that you would love to ask him too… In a totally and strictly professional way, of course.
    Rule Number Two: The (extremely unnecessary) nemesis!
    The shiver running down your spine could mean only one thing: Hwang Hyunjin ─ your obnoxious coworker ─ was standing right behind you, just like a bloody damn ghost. There was no need to turn around. You knew he had his mocking eyes glued on Bang Chan’s figure, and you could feel the air shifting as he tilted his head in a silent sneer before leaning on your desk.
    You refused to turn around and acknowledge his presence; painfully aware that he would flash a wide grin while looking at you with a knowing glint in his eyes. You wouldn’t give him the taste of seeing in your face that he was right; that you were staring at your boss as if you were a starving vulture. So you did the only thing you could do in this situation: You started to work. The sheets scattered over your desk wouldn’t walk by themselves to Bang Chan’s room, right?
    And neither would you if it depended on Hyunjin.
    The attempts to swipe the papers in your direction and gather everything you needed ─ to finally get rid of Hyunjin ─ proved to be vain as his hand took root on the desk. You pursed your lips in annoyance while glancing at his prominent knuckles and slender fingers; wondering if he would be so collected if he knew you wanted to crunch them. Probably not. But he gets off so fucking much on upsetting you that he might just want to take the risk anyway.
    “What do you want, asshole?” You hissed; stopping your motions before turning around to stare blankly at him.
    The face of an angel was the most accurate way to describe the sight in front of you. Plump, pink lips molded into a sweet smile and dark brown eyes morphed into cute crescents. None of those features fit his true self, though. Underneath the angelic façade, there was a demon called Hwang Hyunjin ─ who was resting his free hand on your shoulder for no reason besides driving you crazy.
    It would be easier if he was just a pretty face, but Hyunjin had a good body too. The guy looked just like a model ─ slim, tall, and classy ─, and even though only his collarbones peeked out from down his shirt, you knew that there was much more than the eyes could see.
    Well, you never saw it, but you had felt it.
    As far as you could remember, each curve on Hyunjin’s abs was craft by God himself. The way his chest was built for you to caress would be forever craved on your mind. You might never forget how soft his lips were in contrast to his lap… How his thighs flexed just right when you pulled his hair… How reactive he was… How his moans sounded… And how he put everything to waste.
    “Oh, nothing” He shrugged. As usual, his voice was just like sweet, hot honey; still, you could wipe the poison dripping down his chin, “I was just wondering if you had enough time to do your job while fucking your boss inside your head” He clarified sarcastically, cracking you a smile.
    Sometimes you regretted not putting his mouth to good use… He really needed to learn how to shut up for a while and stop being so… Unbearable. The silence he met had him scoffing; body leaning even closer to the point his face was practically hovering over yours ─ smugness plastered all over it. You held his gaze to confront him; breathe mingling with his in a heated mix that matched the anger under your eyes.
    Was he licking his lips as he stared at yours? Oh boy… He definitely wanted to get laid. It was your time to scoff as the frown on your lips turned into a smirk; eyes twinkling mischievously as you looked into his in a silent teasing. As if sensing that he was in trouble, Hyunjin tilted his head to look even more obnoxious than he was; face coming closer to yours to defy your newfound confidence.
     “You know what? If you stared at him any longer, I think his balls might have fallen off…” He whispered in a tone loud enough for just you to hear “Unless he saw the way you were looking at him… Then I guess his dick would go straight up” He assured you with a ‘friendly’ pat on your shoulder as he finally let go of your papers and straightened his back.
    “Are you saying it from experience?” You sneered; grimacing at him.
    “Are you telling me that you want me to fuck you too?” He retorted gibingly; not even thinking twice about it.
    “No” You tilted your head, trying to stay composed, “I’m reminding you that you couldn’t even kiss me without getting a boner… Just like a teenage boy” He arched a brow at your statement; pursing his lips as he hummed in wonder “I’m surprised you never came in your pants like the pathetic thing you are” He laughed; poking his cheek with his tongue before squeezing your shoulder in a silent warning.
    “I must have been quite a sight if you can remember it so vividly” You pretended not to notice the way he sniggered, pushing away the urge to punch his face.
  Nemesis was just a classy way to call him a pain in the ass.
  Rule Number Three: The (plain and uninteresting) secret identity!
  It would be impossible to miss the moment Hyunjin’s devilish smirk morphed into a bright, friendly smile. The snarky comment on the tip of your tongue was swallowed back in a bit; grimace dissolving into a wide grin as if you weren’t about to throw your fists at him. He giggled as his arms spread open before snaking around your body to pull you into a tight hug; holding you close and rocking your body side to side as a soft huff fell from your lips.
    If you didn’t know any better, your knee would be buried between his legs.
  “Way to go, Y/N!” He chirped, loosening his grip to take a better look at your face; eyes smiling as if the both of you were the bestest of friends in the entire world, “You’re awesome! I’m so proud… I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you as my teammate” He pursed his lips; dimples showing as he offered you nothing but affection in his gaze.
    You did know better, though, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out who was standing behind your back as you opened your mouth to answer him: “There’s no one I’d rather be with!” You reassured Hyunjin in a sweet, mirthful tone; tilting your head to return the fondness in his look in an act worthy of an Oscar “We’re a team, you know? You can’t get rid of me so easily” He laughed wholeheartedly at that; ruffling your hair before leaning closer to you again, resuming the hug.
    “We’ll see about that” He whispered in your ear, making you scoff.
    “What are you gonna do? Cry to Daddy so you won’t work with me anymore?” You hissed back; breaking away from his hug with a tight grin before turning around to meet Chan’s gaze.
    The surprise plastered over your face was millimetrically calculated; just like the way you pretended to be flustered as you stared into your boss’ eyes to see the pride shining on them. You brought the papers closer to your chest in what was meant to be an innocent, coy way ─ a technique mastered over the months you worked for him ─, and Chan seemed to fall for it as he giggled in delight. The poor guy had no clue all of this was as fake as your camaraderie towards Hyunjin, and he wasn’t about to discover it anytime soon if it depended on you.
    Luckily, it did! You had taken some acting classes; just enough for your next words to be naturally convincing: “I’m so sorry, Sir! We’re just so happy that –” The words were deliberately drawled to give him enough time to interrupt you. Just like you knew he would. And it was a good thing that he did because you had no idea of how you were supposed to finish that sentence anyway.
    You were a good actress, not a professional improviser.
    “Don’t mention it” He cut you off giggly; detaching himself from the doorframe he leaned on as he watched the friendly scene taking place.
    The amount of cuteness this man could deliver in his smile wasn’t fair, and it didn’t match the sensuality a simple gesture of his overflowed with, enchanting you. You gulped down as he gave both of you a silent order to follow him into his room, wondering if the duality he had in the office was remotely similar to what he could do in bed ─ a thought that shouldn’t be having a place in your mind right now.
    Hyunjin seemed to pick up on it pretty quickly too, and as soon as Chan turned around to head to his office, he bumped his shoulder onto yours. The obnoxious action was followed by your elbow diving into his ribs; a retaliation that took you less than a second and, luckily, Chan ─ or any of your coworkers ─ didn’t seem to notice. Neither of you gave away your silent quarrel as Hyunjin closed the door behind him, smiling at you when Chan finally took his seat.
     “It’s good to see that you guys have such chemistry” He confessed, and you had to suppress a scoff when you looked into his eyes. He had no idea… The chemistry between you two was enough to make you want to blow each other, “You know what I always say, right?” He boasted on a sing-song; much more at ease than he seemed to be earlier.
    You weren’t about to put that on the line, though.
    “You can’t have teamwork if you don’t have a team!” You warbled in unison.
    “That’s the spirit!” Chan gurgled, heading to his desk in a visibly good mood.
    What was going on? He wouldn’t be so happy just because you and Hyunjin were being friendly… Were you missing something? He didn’t seem in such a peaceful state of mind when he came in… It had to be something that happened after that. Perhaps he got some good news from his secretary? Or maybe… You narrowed your eyes as you caught a glimpse of Hyunjin’s hands fidgeting in front of him; his foot tapping the ground rapidly but quietly before moving slightly to step on your toe.
     Or maybe Hyunjin had something to do with it…
    “As I said in the email, Sir, I happened to hear some stuff around and… KQ managed to get an exclusive with Han Jisung” The sentence sounded just like a normal introduction to a report, but you knew it wasn’t. Hyunjin’s eyes darted to meet yours, glinting with anxiety and despair. He was informing you of what was going on, not Chan, “And as we all know, Jisung is a rising producer star, which is bound to raise their sales and might get in the way of ours…” He continued, swallowing dryly and widening his eyes ever so slightly.
    He was definitely trying to warn you of something.
    “Yes, I read the e-mail, Hyunjin” Chan agreed sternly; smile disappearing as his fingers intertwined to serve as a support for his chin. He looked classy and incredibly sexy, but your mind couldn’t afford to focus on it right now. You had to figure out what the hell Hyunjin suggested to Chan before blowing everything up, “You also said that Y/N might have the solution for this…” Oh, so that was it, you thought when Chan arched his brow; eyes connecting to yours.
    And now what?
    “So?” He encouraged you, detaching his chin from his hands so he could rest them on his desk “I’m waiting” He smiled gently; a closed-mouth smile that was supposed to calm your nerves, even though you could see how tumultuous his gaze was right now.
    It was practically a silent threat.
    In a normal situation, the predatory way he was looking at you ─ resembling a wolf when you were nothing but a sheep under his radar ─ would get you… Thinking.
    Your job wouldn’t be at stake in a normal situation, though.
    The pressure on your toes increased; the subtle way Hyunjin found to snap you out of your mind, despite your silence hanging in there for just a few seconds. It was obvious that he was freaking out just as much as you were, and you couldn’t help but blame him for this. Couldn’t he have told you about it earlier? What the hell was going on inside his mind?! Instead of taunting you about wanting to fuck Bang Chan, he should have warned you about that shit!
    That’s not the time for this, Y/N.
    The muscles on your face tensed as you tried to not give away everything going through your mind; lips twisting in a tight smile as you looked at Hyunjin: “Yeah, he was right” You answered calmly, even though your stomach was settled on becoming an Olympic athlete right now, “As I was telling him before coming here, Sir, I have someone in mind…” The relief washed over Hyunjin’s face; a genuine smile adorning his features as he withheld a sigh, “I happen to know I.N, and I think I can get us an exclusive” You confessed, shifting your gaze from Hyunjin to Chan.
    “The writer?” He blurted out, astonishment plastered all over his face.
    “Yeah… They’re a friend of mine…” You trailed off, embarrassed to say it out loud “They’re in the top trending now since their novel will become a drama and…” You cleared your throat, lowering your head to avoid his gaze. There was just so much of acting you could handle for a day, “I mean- It’s… Adult stuff, right? But they never—”
    “I know! That’s perfect!” He beamed, getting up from his chair to walk your way “They’ve never been seen! Nobody knows anything about them, Y/N” He laughed ─ he genuinely laughed ─ while clasping his hands together “Han Jisung is good, but I.N is better! This is hot news… FrontPage… How come you never told me about that?” He chuckled, placing his hand on your shoulder “Rest assured that when I get my promotion, I’m gonna have you right here in this room” He promised you in such a serious tone that a shiver ran down your spine.
    Rule Number Four: The (kinda horny) true self!
    There was not a single soul in the office as you made your way down the hall; eyes focused on the mesmerizing view outside. The sky was colored in purple shades, so deep that you would have mistaken them for black if it weren’t for the dazzling, sleepless city and its dozens of skyscrapers lighting everything up. Not even the full moon would be able to compete with such a beautiful brilliance, but it wouldn’t be necessary either as your gaze was abruptly torn away from the night.
    The darkness surrounding you didn’t allow your brain to connect the dots immediately, and you couldn’t help but wonder what happened when you bumped into something. The surface was much softer than a wall, yet firm enough to have you wincing for the impact; eyes snapping to meet the unlucky bastard that stayed until so late. The moonlight kissed his skin just enough for you to recognize the sharp features of your boss; clenched jaw revealing popping veins that distracted you for a fraction of a second.
     Your eyes trailed the path from his jaw to his neck, and you couldn’t help but wonder how it tasted like; if you could savor it like the sins you wanted to commit with him. The closeness didn’t work in your favor, and the hint of his scent intoxicated your senses as you connected your gazes. Something must have given you off ─ maybe your hesitation, maybe the lust glinting in your eyes ─ because the next second, Cristopher had his hand placed on your lower back.
   The warm sensation grew to a burning feeling as his eyes darkened while diving into yours; his stern, cold gaze contrasting to the feeling of his touch and sending a shiver down your spine. Could he have noticed the way your legs trembled as his grip tightened around you? The look on his face was indecipherable, and the intensity of his gaze made you feel too exposed and vulnerable to keep looking for an answer, so you averted your eyes away from him.
    “Weren’t you supposed to come as soon as you got his answer?” The way his voice made its way to your senses had the embarrassment washing over you. The huskiness in his tone made you gulp down ─ throat dry from thirsting over him ─ and the calmness in his sentence alarmed you as it didn’t match the disapproval in his eyes “It’s so late that there is no one else here anymore” He added nonchalantly; mixed signals getting you confused to what he meant by it.
    Was it just a way to scold you or was it an invitation?
    “I’m sorry, Sir” Despite not having anyone around, you whispered the words as if you could be caught at any moment now, “It took me longer than expected, but we—”
    “We?” His eyes were sharp enough to cut you off but the real reason why you couldn’t manage to finish your thoughts was the way he pulled your body impossibly closer to his “Were you with him this whole time?” He hissed right into your ear, letting his hot breath fan over your cold, sensitive skin in a silent threat.
    “Working” You corrected, even though he didn’t say anything.
    “Working” He hummed in agreement; hand going to tuck your hair behind your ear “As in how we work late at night?” He sneered, manhandling you to press your back against the cold surface of the glass wall that separated his office from the rest of the place “Or is it as in how he wants to work you on his desk?” He scoffed; soft huff almost as degrading as the way he held your cheeks with one hand and guided your eyes to his.
    “Neither” You guaranteed breathlessly; voice quivering in excitement.
    “Are you going to pretend that you didn’t notice his looks?” He narrowed his eyes at you; his knee making its way to the gap between yours before slowly rising to your thighs, “That you don’t know how much he wants to fuck you?” He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, “You better not, ‘cause I know you love it” He warned as he kicked your legs apart.
    “He could never fuck me as you do” There was such seriousness in your tone that it had him chuckling, and he nodded in approval before burying his nose in your neck, “I-I’m yours only, Sir… I know my place” You promised quietly, trying not to give away how aroused his jealousy made you feel.
    “Yeah…” His raspy laughter tickled your skin, and you muffled a whine as he grazed his teeth over your neck teasingly “But you like being reminded of it, don’t you?” He taunted, taking in your scent in a way that made you feel too small and helpless. He groaned as soon as you let a whimper fall from your lips, and you couldn’t help but struggle to stay still while knowing what was about to come, “Do I have to spell it for you, baby girl?” He snickered before sucking on the tender spot of your skin that he knew too well at this point.
    “N-No” Somewhere inside your head, you acknowledged that your reaction was insanely humiliating. He just needed a couple of words spoken in a sultry tone and you couldn’t even form a proper sentence. That was the power he had on you. And you loved it. “Only yours” The rushed tone made him smirk against your neck, stopping his path of kisses for a second to look into your eyes “Sir” You panted; returning his gaze with just as much intensity as he had on his.
    “Claim your place” His order was so tantalizing that you didn’t even blink before you finally let your knees give away, losing the support of your legs to earn the support of his thigh, “That’s right… You do remember your place” Somehow, this sounded like the best praise he could ever offer you, even under his amused tone, “But you have been such a bad girl lately…” He pouted as he caressed your cheek; hand stopping to grab your chin gently “And I don’t like bad girls… You know that, right?” He let his thumb reach for your lower lip, fiercely staring at it before grazing his finger on your teeth.
    Your answer was as silent as his request; tongue welcoming his thumb before you sucked on his digit. He hummed in appreciation, pushing it inside your mouth as you looked at him with big doe eyes to show a coyness that wasn’t really there within you. The action was followed by a swirl around the tip of his finger; as if to leave in his mouth the taste of what he was missing and prompt him to give you what you really wanted: Him.
    If he picked up on your plans, he showed it by giving like for like.
   He didn’t say a word as he pressed his thigh against your heat; leaning closer to let his breath fan over your neck once more. He stood like that for what could have been seconds, maybe minutes, but nonetheless time enough for his warmth to creep into your senses. He was like a poison to you; the intoxicating presence clouding your better judgment and destroying any will you had to have him losing control. You didn’t even mind the way he scoffed as you started to grind his leg; brows twisting to shout out a needy plea for release.
    “That’s a good girl” He approved, catching your earlobe between his teeth. The moan that fell from your lips was muffled by his finger and he didn’t seem to appreciate it, “I don’t hear you, baby girl” He complained, moving on to your jaw with a path of open-mouthed kisses that weren’t enough to distract you from his other hand “There’s no one here… Be loud for me” He allured you as his hand found its way under your shirt.
      The temptation was great… Scream his name as he fucked you senseless in the office... No risk of being caught… Just you, and him, and your dirty little secret…
    Your thoughts were all around the place, and you had no hopes of grasping them back as his cold hand brushed your side, contrasting to the warmth under your clothes. The way he touched you made shivers run down your spine; his slow, delicate motion enhancing your senses to every single second of his caresses. You held your breath when his finger finally managed to reach its destination; grazing over your nipple to have you succumbing to his wishes.
    You fought it as you could, but you were never much of a fighter.
    It was too easy for him to have you under his control, and he knew it. You could tell it by the way he chuckled as soon as you gave away how lost you were at this point. The moan that left your lips came all the way up from your chest, sounding crystal clear in the room as you let your mouth fall agape. Sucking on his finger and following his orders were the last concern you would have for this moment. The only thing worthy of your attention right now was the fact that you couldn’t get as much friction as you needed, and you had to do something about it.
    So you grind on his leg for dear life.
    “You’re so needy” The mockery didn’t have much effect on your mind anymore, so you just kept sliding up and down his thigh as if that was the only thing that could keep you going “You’re not even listening to me, are you?” He huffed in disbelief; thumb leaving your mouth so he could cup your face “That’s all you can understand, right?” He taunted, pinching your nipple to get your attention again, “Are you still there, baby girl?” He leaned closer to whisper in your ear.
      “F-Fuck me” Was the only answer he would get.
      “Manners” He warned; licking the sweet spot next to your jaw.
      “Fuck me, Sir” You corrected yourself; wrapping your arms around his shoulders to look for some support as you practically bounced on his leg, “Please, fuck me, Sir” You repeated, forehead resting on the crook of his neck as you clawed his back, trying to bring him as close as possible to you.
      “Louder” He demanded, and you didn’t need to look at his face to know that he was grinning, “Louder…” He instructed in a tone so low that you could barely hear him over the rustling sounds of fabric against fabric. Your breath hitched as his hand gently caressed your hair; moving some strands away from your face to take a better look at you. However, he didn’t get to see your teary eyes, “Come on, baby… Look at me” He asked in a tantalizing tone, alluring you to try and meet his gaze.
    There wasn’t much you could see through your hooded eyes; vision too blurry for you to grasp what was going on inside his mind. You could tell he enjoyed it, though. He always did. That moment when he could pinpoint you had given up on your control, that you weren’t yourself anymore and would be willing to do whatever he asked… He lived for it, for that rebellious flame of self-control extinguishing from your eyes.
     For who you become when lust overcomes you.        
    The grip on his hair wasn’t unexpected, and Cristopher offered you a small, wicked smile before you connected your lips. The kiss was messy and hurried; tongues exploring every corner they could find while your hands were occupied on getting rid of your clothes. Neither of you cared about anything else but feeling each other’s bodies as you ripped your shirts. The cold breeze hitting your bare skin wasn’t enough to cool down the heat consuming you, but it was enough to have you squirming and whining.
      “Beautiful” Was the only thing he said before pushing your back against the glass and adjusting his grip to take your nipple between his teeth. The groan that escaped your lips was almost animalistic, prompting him to answer with a grunt of his own as he sucked on your skin. The vibrations ran from your flesh to your core, enticing another moan that seemed to fall into deaf ears, “Louder, baby… I want him to hear you…” He pleaded, letting go of your breast just to grope it and give you a kitten lick on the next second “To know who made you like this…” He added before sucking on it again.
    Perhaps it was the fact that he thrust on you, just to tease your senses and make you thirstier. Perhaps it was the fact you had to support yourself on just one leg as he pushed his hips against yours and you tried to seek for your balance by involving his leg with yours. Perhaps it was his hand sliding to meet your clothed core; finger pressing against your clit to add a delicious, needed stimulus for your orgasm.
    Perhaps it was the words that slipped through his lips.
    “W-What did you say?” You panted; hips faltering as you tried to keep riding him, but steading their pace as his finger circled your clit to goad you “M-Mhm… S-Sir” You cried; hand burying in his hair to pull it and translate the utter bliss waving down your body. The string of mewls and urgent pleas spilled from you like a chant, getting him more eager than before, “P-Please” You whined, even though you weren’t sure what you were asking for.
      “Hold it” He ordered; straightening his back to look right into your eyes, but failing as yours rolled back to your head. His hand made its way to squeeze your cheeks, forcing you to look at him with a soft shake to catch your attention “Look at me” It sounded like a warning; stern enough for you to try your best to focus on him, “You’ll only cum when he walks right through that door… Do you understand?” He searched for any signs of stubbornness in your eyes, but his smile showed he didn’t found any.
    “W-Who?” You managed to ask; body trembling as you tried to hold every single string inside your mind in place, even though each one of them was ready to snap and unravel the crashing pleasure that was building up.
    “Why does it matter?” He scoffed, quickening his pace as the unmistakable ring of the elevator sounded on the room “You love being seen, don’t you?” He chuckled, watching as your body shook violently and your knees started to give away to the sensations running down your body.
      “Y-Yes, Sir” You could bet your voice echoed inside the building, and Christopher seemed to agree with you as he grinned in approval.
    “So look at your guest, baby… And scream my name” He instructed, pushing your face to the side. The doors opened slowly, revealing the lights inside the small cubicle right in front of your eyes “Let him know who you belong to” He whispered in your ear; hand pushing your underwear aside so his finger could come in contact with your core.
    The mysterious figure detached from the corners of the metallic walls to finally reveal himself. You met his eyes for a half of a second; enough time for you to recognize the one who worked with you every single day of your life. For the past few years. Someone who would be your partner for years to come, and who would witness and engrave your face in your most vulnerable moment.
    You came hard; probably the most overwhelming orgasm you had ever had in your life. It was impossible to hold back your voice, and you couldn’t help but howl his name; legs shaking and body collapsing into your boss’ arms. You squirmed and whimpered as you tried to recompose yourself; letting him help you ride you out of your orgasm and occupying yourself by staring into your coworker’s shocked eyes.
    “Thank you, Sir…” You breathed out, gripping his arms for dear life while the shame sank into your soul.
    Rule Number Five: The (grateful and satisfied) fans!
    And… Post.
    Oh, well… You did it. Again. There was something about displaying your deepest fantasies for anyone to see that was kinda thrilling to you. Your heart raced inside your chest just like a drum ─ well, if a goddamn drummer decided to do a solo but was too offbeat, to begin with ─ and you couldn’t help but stare blankly at the page without a clue of what to do now. It was out there… Why didn’t anyone say anything yet? Was it that bad? Should you delete it?
    Well… People have to read it before commenting, you know?
    Yeah, right… You just posted it.
    Chill.
    You licked your lips before biting them; feeling the rush that was posting about your boss online when no one else knew about it. If you were being honest, the best part of this wasn’t having the chance to live your fantasies throughout your writing. No. The best part was knowing that only you knew the true identity of Christopher… Or what you really wanted to do to him while he walked down the hallway. The best part was that no one would ever figure out that you were the author of the bestselling novel of the moment… That this steamy romance between boss and employee was nothing but your rawest desire.
     Who would think that the boring, shy girl from the office would be a smut writer? Who would think that you would have a horny, interesting secret identity? No one else but you.
      And this was priceless.
     Or maybe… It was priceless.
    As far as you knew, every single thing you cherished about being a secretive horny bitch could go down the drain tomorrow. It would be all fine if it was just a… Well, actually everything would suck. How would you look at Chan’s face if he knew you were writing about having sex with your boss while he was your boss? What would you do if they decided to fire you because of it? What would you do with your life from now on?!
     Don’t panic, Y/N.
    You had everything under control… Tomorrow morning you would be going to Jeongin’s house and interview him as if he were you. No one would ever suspect you after that. You would save your ass, Hyunjin’s ass, and Chan’s ass. And that was it. The perfect plan. Nothing to worry about. Just trust Jeongin to follow your script and make sure everything would go as planned.
    Flawless. Totally safe. Perfect.
    That’s right…
    You just need to take a deep breath and rela—
    The sudden sound caught you off guard; eyes focusing on the screen once again so you could understand what was going on. All of your worries vanished away as soon as you saw the notification on the top of it; announcing that you had just got a message from a fan.
     Finally!    
    The weasel icon was so familiar that you chuckled while opening the message; a smile plastering over your face as you let your eyes wander around the words. There was nothing more fulfilling to your writer ass than seeing the way Weasel always had something to say about your story. Sometimes, he’d give you some feedback on your style. Other times, he’d freak out about how much he wanted to “try those things out”, as he usually said. There were also times when he’d just get excited over the characters and their conflicts, which always got you laughing.
    It was fun to talk to Weasel.
    He was just as mysterious as you… There was no name to his face, and also no face to his icon, but both of you were friends anyway. He had been keeping up with your stuff from such an early stage that it felt natural to have him around and getting his feedback. It was so comfortable, that you didn’t even mind when he slid in your DMs, embarrassed to let anyone else know that your smut made him… Feel things. There was no need to elaborate on what he did about those feelings or those things. But it was kinda hot to know he enjoyed himself throughout your fantasies.
      His fantasies.
    Well… For the number of times that you used them to write your stories, it was some sort of shared fantasies by now. As a matter of fact, you never intended to make Christopher a jealous character but Weasel made the idea seem too hot for you to ignore. Sometimes, he’d open up about that girl from his work that he really liked and how jealous he was of the guy she liked and then… Well, it felt… Interesting.
    The thought of being desirable to the point a guy would want to claim you as his like this? Not that Weasel did it. He actually just mentioned that he hoped she was into this as a kink. You couldn’t help but picture the way he would touch her in such a greedy way… The possessiveness blinding him for a second… The grip tightening… The mean words and the humiliation… Oh, the sweet humiliation that would crush you as he whispered how much you would cum for him… How he was the only one who could make you like that… How he would ask you to say his name… To tell him that you were his…
    You could drink holy water and still be shaking just by picturing it.
    “That was such a good chapter… I didn’t expect you to use her friend like that. I thought it was a given that she’d end up with Chris” You read out loud, chuckling when he reached for your DMs to talk to you “Will we get a threesome or something, miss? 😏” He joked on the next line and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at this “I’m waiting for it”
    “You’re just a horny bitch, aren’t you?” You typed, smirking as you stared at his messages “No spoilers for you, though, baby boy… You’ll have to wait like everybody else” Teasing him was always funny, and he never failed to amuse you.
      “I’m not the one writing porn online” He pointed out, and before he could write anything else you shot him.
    “Yeah but you’re the one getting off to it” You retorted, getting a whole set of gasping and shocked emotes that had you laughing.
    “I have no words to express how offended I am” You chortled, shaking your head in disbelief.
     “Alright, Drama Llama” Why was it so fun to mock him? You wished you could actually meet him offline and banter like this in real life “To fill your horny ass, I might write a dom!reader next time… I was thinking about torturing the 2nd lead a bit”
    “First of all… I don’t think I want my ass filled, thank you for offering tho” Why was he like this? “And I was just joking” You frowned at that, confused by what he meant “Don’t you think that a threesome doesn’t go along with the characters? Her friend likes her a lot and Christopher is just a kinky son of a bitch… I thought he’d just show him that she was his and be an ass as usual”
    “What do you have against Chris, dude?” You rolled your eyes, although he wouldn’t be able to see it, “He’s way better than her friend! At least, he does something about her”
    “I have the 2nd male lead syndrome! You know that!” You chortled, very aware of this, “And isn’t that the perfect opportunity for him to do something about it?! I mean… I don’t want to be nosey but having a threesome is way out of character for them” He pointed out, and you had to admit he was right.
    “No, you’re not nosey…” You sighed; shoulders dropping for a second “It’s just that I’m upset about something that happened at work today and you know that projecting my problems on those characters is my thing” You pursed your lips, staring at the keyboard for a few seconds before deciding to continue “Besides, I’m about to spend an entire day with a guy that kinda inspired the 2nd lead and… I don’t really want to think about a sex scene with him, you know?” You confessed.
    “But thinking about torturing and having a threesome with him is easy” He mocked you.
      “That’s because that threesome would never happen” You sent it before you could think about what you had just written.
    “Ooohhhh!” Holy shit… The amount of emotes he had just dumped on that chat couldn’t be a good sign, “So having sex with this guy is something you want?! And that could happen?! ” Great, now you would have a Drama Llama-Weasel trying to get some juicy gossip about your inexistent sex life… WORSE! Your sex life with your nemesis! “Why don’t you go for it? I’m sure he’s into you if he’s anything like his character” Poor thing… He had no idea.
    “Shut up, it’s not like that” You brushed it off.
    “If you say so” You could almost hear him snickering, even though you didn’t know how his voice sounded like “I’ll just have you regretting this for the rest of the night” You snorted, shaking your head in disbelief. He was unbearable! “I have work early tomorrow but I’m gonna come back with questions, Miss… Wait for me”
    “What I meant is that it’d be easier to happen than having a threesome, not that I want it to happen, moron” You defended yourself but he didn’t even get to read it as he logged off right away.
      Great… He would never let you live it down.
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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years
Text
Researching...
ZETA
You need to see this first then this
The alchemist had been trying all remedies to shake off the stress and fatigue in his system and they all seemed to fail, no amount of sketching or discoveries can pull him away from it. So when you offered a solution he hasn’t heard, he’d jump at it immediately. “You know, some people say having intercourse with someone is a good stress-reliever.” “Intercourse? If it’s true, then please, I wish to have intercourse with you.” “Wha- wait Albedo, do you not know what that is? It’s only done between lovers!” “Convenient, I love you, anything else?”
Pairing -> Albedo x Female Reader
Word Count -> 2944
Themes -> Smut, PwP, PwF, Woohoo, the "thing", the "do"
Series -> #Bonafide Specials (100 followers event)
Warnings -> NSFW CONTENT, DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE UNDERAGED! (this is awkward because you two have no experience, jsyk)
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(Z,E)-9,12-tetradecadienyl acetate (TDA, also known as ZETA) are usually emitted by females to attract males for mating. Sex pheromones are defined as odors, produced by either males or females that stimulate one or more behavioral reactions in the opposite sex, bringing the males and females together for the purpose of mating.
The foldered papers at the mahogany desk met with a soft plop at its weight, and you noticed the Alchemist suddenly straighten his back from his spaced out daze on the noise, whipping his head towards where you stand. Albedo's teal eyes were wide from the sudden intrusion, but his eyelids drooped over them once again upon the realization that it was just you who entered as it loses its light once more. This worried you.
The Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favonius has been in a dilemma recently. And all of Mond knows of this.
Albedo naturally holds himself in a regal and composed aura that draws people to him in admiration and trance. But this Albedo lacks such gait, with shoulders tense and eyebrows furrowed, steps heavy and head hanging low.
He has hit a wall in his never-ending research. And the effect was obvious on him.
Days he'd be cooped up in his laboratory staring at nothing, glaring at his setup. Days he'd be gone beyond the walls with his easel and sketchbook, only to return with unfinished artworks meant to be forgotten. Sucrose had tried placing experiments that are easy to handle and give him at least a sense of self-confidence for solving, but even that cannot pull his mind away from his obstacle.
"You know," leaning on the table with arms crossed, you watched the Kreideprinz drag his foot to where you were, aiming to check on the folder that you just submitted, "Some people say having intercourse with someone is a good stress-reliever." Such words smoothly flowed out of your mouth despite the masked embarrassment you expertly hid through a haughty smirk.
That someone was Kaeya, and that Kaeya threw out that same comment next to you when you two saw Albedo walk through the headquarter's halls like a zombie a few days ago.
The sudden pound of fists on the table at either side of you startled you, expertly caging you in as you looked up. Albedo loomed over you with eyes brightly catching the sun, giving it the luminosity that carried the same curious look he had when faced with the unknown. "Intercourse? If it's true, then please," oh no, "I wish to have intercourse with you."
Excuse me? "Wha-" suddenly, you were hyper-aware of just how close you are to one another. You slightly hiked yourself up against the table, as to preserve what little distance you have. "Wait Albedo, do you not know what that is? It’s only done between lovers!”
And without skipping a beat, he mused, "Convenient, I love you, anything else?" That familiar smirk displayed on his face.
Contrary to his face tho, you greatly contest to Diluc's hair. Really a normal reaction- to this guy suddenly confessing! Your head is already whirling around in confusion and your eyes couldn't set itself straight at him, still mindful of the distance of which reminded you why you were in this predicament in the first place.
Albedo attentively watched your eyes stray to the side as he stands there in silence, seeing it land at the entrance to his laboratory. Ah of course, he thought he'd made a discovery, as he leans away from you to make his way towards the door.
And shut it with a click.
"Wait, wait, why did you lock the door?!" You finally mustered up the courage to speak (breaking away from the shock of his confession) as he finds himself where he stood over you, eyes filled with confusion.
"You were quiet after my confession. I know such moments of romance are intimate and with your eyes, I only wanted to give us privacy," his brows furrowed with confusion before his shoulders dropped, a sharp sigh escaping. "Normally people would express their reciprocation by now," he breathed as he starts pulling back and away, "but voicing your rejection would have been appre-"
Quickly with a yelp, you reached out for his departing form, pulling him back by the grip on his shirt. Albedo's eyes only widened a little as he was quick to grip the table's edge to stabilize himself, one arm wrapped around your waist to ground you. "No! I do- do love you too!" You finally squeezed out the embarrassing confession, "You were just so sudden, it surprised me so much!"
And suddenly he was laughing openly, full of relief and humor, as his shoulders slackened at the validation. The heavy weight on his shoulders eased as if a physical matter left it, the bout of removed tension making him slump on you.
You cradled the tired Albedo in your arms as you let him place his chin on your shoulder. This man is your lover now, you thought as the fact finally dawned on you. The brilliant and most loved in Mond now tied down to you.
Basking in the presence of a person now his, Albedo found himself breathing in. There was a scent to you that always soothes him which now feels emphasized at the closeness. His pupils dilated as his face buries itself closer to the junction where your neck and shoulder meets.
Ah, what was this? Was this the pheromones you once talked about in your research on zoology that attracts those to them? He mused in his mind as those teal eyed fluttered shut, nose brushing at your neck for another whiff.
While Albedo indulged himself with the natural scent of you, you stood there with weak legs, trembling and red from the notions. Oh gods, you whimpered at the feeling of his lips brushing at your skin, you're whipped for this man.
"I'm waiting," you had to hold the shiver when his words vibrated against your neck, "for your answer on my offer, I think it would be good to try." Ah the 'intercourse'. You placed your hands flat on his back as he leans away to stare in attention, and then you finally explained to him what you meant, what you'd do, and what it entails to.
Albedo nods in understanding at your every clause and explanation. And his bright mind understood far too easily how it would help. "We are lovers now," his eyes twinkled at the cute scrunch of your nose upon the embarrassment of the fact, "sooner or later we'd end up doing it anyways. When shouldn't be a matter."
Albedo always make a good point.
With your consent, Albedo slowly lays you on the surface of the table as his other hand makes quick work to swipe away the items that would be in the way, thankfully the carpeted floor prevented anything from breaking. His lips found yours almost naturally as you urged him to take off his coat and you worked on your own, the thoughts spiraling in your head for every clothing that is shed:
Albedo has little to none idea on how sex works between humans, and you had your base knowledge from the things you learned from academics; in short, you're both inexperienced and you are his anchor.
How funny how the master role quickly switched, you thought with an inward laugh before it died in your throat at the sight— he stands there with his undershirt unbuttoned, belt and shorts caught by his knee, and his apparent bulge outlined by his boxers. Your thighs instinctively closed, you don't know what's considered average in size for such things, but you know for a fact there's gonna be some difficulty.
"Is something wrong?" His raw and calloused hands (gloves long gone) softly landed at your squirming thighs, the contact sending a shiver all over. "Am I doing something wrong?"
No, you breathed as you urged him to step closer and settle between your legs at the edge of the table, his form forcing you to spread your limbs apart.
The intoxicating scent that Albedo indulged in earlier was stronger now, drowning him and clouding his thoughts. The waft plunged through his senses so forcefully that he stumbled a bit on you, hips hitting as he grips your sides to keep him steady.
Next came the warmth that touched his sensitive length as it laid between you, the contact had forced out a cute squeak from you and an airy groan from him. His hips buckled to catch the sensation as he finds himself rutting between your folds with ragged breathing.
So good, it felt so good. Albedo finds himself struggling to keep his eyes open from what he now identified to be pleasure, and as he looks up to check on you, you were struggling just the same. Your chest rises and falls in quick successions as you covered your eyes with an arm, whimpers coming out of your slightly parted lips.
Fuck. If only he wasn't so engrossed, he wanted to capture this image through painting. "Am I-," he cleared his throat of the hoarse voice, "Am I hurting you?"
You gasped at the cold and wet feeling swipe from your chin to the corner of your lips, licking the trail of drool you didn't even notice when you opened your eyes to see Albedo's up close. With a shake of your head, you gripped the ponytail of his braid to pull his head for a sudden kiss.
Staggering over your form as your legs hiked up to hook around his waist, you guided the tip of his length to your entrance as he ravaged your mouth without restraint. Lips bruising each other, tongue tracing the underside of yours gingerly before it licks at the roof of your mouth— all the sensations had fogged up your consciousness so badly that you didn't feel an ounce of pain when he finally entered into you, guided by a shy gentleness to his ministrations.
It is only when his tip finally touched the opening of your cervix did you whimper; the way you're being stretched and the fullness of his length in you making you writhe under and around him, the friction only making rousing him more.
Albedo produced a low growl against your lips as he bit down on the bottom one, his trimmed nails digging to your soft-skinned hips as he pins it down. "Stop- nghh- stop moving around so much," a sudden warmth pooled into your stomach as you tightened around him.
Mistake number one: You didn't expect for his gentleness to be gone.
Spurred on by your tightening grip and the pleasure shooting up him everytime his tip came in contact with your edge, Albedo went into a relentless pace, pounding straight into you to hit that spot. Your pants turned into breathless chokes everytime he comes in contact, forcing your raw moans out of you. There's a dull pain by your entrance everytime he grinds against your walls, and he whimpers your name in pure ecstacy every stroke.
Your back arcs as he smacks into you, pulling back halfway through before burying deep into your hole once again. His brutal pace gets sloppy at times, before his strength comes back again to pull you closer. Halfway through Albedo produces a feral growl as he grips one of your legs behind the knee, pushing it closer to your body and slightly angled to the side.
And the moment he thrusts in with the new position, you cried out his name. The tip of his length reached far deeper with this new angle, and had plunged the top right into your cervix— your hips trembled as Albedo's whole body shivers at the new sensation, fingernails digging into your thigh as his other hand intertwines with yours, pinning it down on the table as leverage.
"Ahn," he whispered your name tiredly with tears pricking at the edge of his eyes, for the first time staring at your eyes after he had started, "How are you? Is it okay? Is it..."
Good, you mumbled with a tired smile at his consideration, bumping your hips to emphasize on it- which drew a sharp gasp from the both of you, he was already in so deep, your hips bruised and touching.
He rolled his hips to test out, his thickness rubbing at the walls as he stirs your insides. The sweet moan you produced spurred him on, and he was once again staggering into you, his hips slightly elevated in an angle meant to pierce through you.
The sound of flesh smacking against each other overpowers even your loudest moan as Albedo pleasured himself inside you desperately, the smell of sex filling your sense of smell. He chases the way your hole drips and wafts with the scent, drawing in a huge breathe whenever your mixed cum spills past his tightly locked dick in you.
And soon his pace became more desperate and short, as he makes quick work at hitting you in your most sensitive part to barely give you time to gasp for air. Your walls clenched down on him so tightly as you came, a cry of his name passing your lips as your back arched—
the pressure made him buckle and he thrusts in deep one last time, tip breaking past your cervix, as his climax enters you in thick strings of warmth.
That was mistake number two: you didn't bring protection with you.
But at that moment you couldn't care less (your cycle just ended anyways, you should be fine), watching him whimper your name in full pleasure as his teeth grinds against each other, his forehead and eyebrows knit and furrow as he releases before it relaxes after he is done.
And then he falls face first to your chest, the renowned Alchemist running out of the minimal stamina he had with him. Buried between the valley of your breast, Albedo had the most serene (almost drunk) expression on his face, lips pressed against the skin over your heart where it beats with fervor from your activity.
He tested another experimental thrust, lighter this time, as he felt your mixed fluids moved around the tiny space. You gave a wailing moan at his action, and he breathlessly laughed at your reaction.
Albedo stayed in you and on you for a few more minutes after that. Still trying to regain strength as your tired pants became the white noise that night.
"Albedo..." he hums against your chest as his arms tightened around your waist, enjoying the peace your hands brought to him as you stroke his cheek. "Albedo, I need to clean up." He jests that you should just keep it in you and you responded with rapid pats, whining at the notion. He chuckles.
It took him a lot of willpower to get up and he made it obvious as hell, taking his time to remove himself off your chest, grumbling that his bed was complaining too much. You let out a cute snort before smacking his arm. Albedo grips your hips as he gently pulls out when he stops suddenly, realizing that the liquids would pour out and make an obvious mess if he were to do so.
His head passes around the immediate area as he pinpoints a peculiar object, plucking it from its plastic package, still new from the bubble wrap. A sharp gasp suddenly comes by you at the cold and hard sensation that replaced Albedo inside you, only a few inches deep as the Alchemist walks off to get tissues. Wary, you looked down to see the object, choking out when you saw its end sticking out past your crotch:
A test tube, pristine and clean, was preventing the fluids from dripping out of your hole.
When Albedo came back with the tissues and spare cloth in hand, he muses at how your deep red face was smacked tightly against your palms. He offers to clean up, a gentle hand carefully pulling out the tube, but you refused and got quick work on yourself. That was enough embarrassment for tonight.
Unbeknownst to you with your busied self, Albedo held the glass vial in close inspection and curiosity. The translucent white liquid barely blocks the night light and produced the same strong scent he'd been chasing the whole night— he sticks his tongue out to taste, ah, slightly salty and sticky.
Albedo wonders what kind of experiment he can do with this.
The obvious lift on the shoulders of the Chief Alchemist was greatly acknowledged by everyone in town who were aware of the impasse the young man had troubled himself with for the past few days. The bags under his eyes were gone, and the tealness he has shined with newfound vigor. Besides the mood shift, many of the knights had also noticed the time spent between the two of you. Missions and expeditions were always coinciding with each other and people barely saw you separated, giggling and smiling to yourselves in your pink world.
One day they finally found out about your relationship when a knight barged in to his laboratory for an urgent matter. Blurting out the Chief Alchemist's name before he realized that you were there, lips locked against each other.
The news spreads fast with that little detail and everyone congratulated you on your relationship.
Behind your bashful smiles, you and Albedo sighed in great relief, thankful to the archons that the knight didn't took notice of your hand under his big white coat that time.
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This turned out like this cuz alchemy boy very new to things u_u and little stamina, he needs to exercise more ehe-
@creation-magician @dandelion-dreams @zelos-simp @struggljng @youroffical-weirdo @your-local-venti-simp @indigodreamtime47
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
Time And Time Again
Dream x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: FLUFF, Romance, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Basically a rundown of some of the most recent cute moments brought to you by the most adorable will-they-won’t-they couple: Y/N and Dream.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, it really made my day when I received it! I hope I captured what you wanted and what you had in mind in the fic and I hope you enjoy the read! This is my first time writing for Dream so I hope I don’t mess it up hehe. Love, Vy ❤
“I don’t wanna go in the cave!“ Y/N squeals in terror when she realizes that in order to make progress in the game and continue moving onward with the story, she has to walk Blake through the dark, dingy and danger-ridden cave in Outlast 2. The gang’s all there with her on a Discord call to keep her company, knowing she’s a scaredy cat underneath that tough girl exterior. And being the scaredy cat she is while also having a preference for horror games has made Friday nights very interesting for her and her friends: her, Clay, George and Sapnap sit on a Discord server while she streams whatever horror game she had planned for the evening to her close to her thousands of viewers. 
“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll come with you, imma hold your hand the whole time.“ Clay volunteers wholeheartedly without a second to waste.
Much to his disappointment, however, Y/N’s reply to that is: “Not until you go wash off all that cheeto dust that’s all over your fingers.“
Clay gasps dramatically, “How DARE you? I offer you help and comfort and this is the thanks I get? I hope one of those heretics in teaches you a lesson!”
While the pair are now in a full-on ‘heated’ dispute on their manners and politeness, bringing back things they did wrong as far back as three years ago, George and Sapnap are just connecting the dots silently.
“Wait, Y/N...“ George is the one to finally speak up, “How’d you know he’s eating cheetos?”
Taking a momentary break from the bickering, Y/N reassumes her more sweet tone of voice as he addresses him, “He freaking raided my cabinets and has eaten all my snacks already! He’s only been here for two hours, damn it!”
“Don’t make it sound like I inhaled a mountain of snacks in two hours! You literally had only two bags of snacks - meant for one person, mind you!“ Clay argues back, neither him nor Y/N realizing that this accidental outing will send their fandoms in a fit.
Of course, people hang out at their friends’ all the time, nothing weird there. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal to anyone if Sapnap didn’t say:
“How come Clay has the privilege of coming over to place and George and I don’t?“
Oh boy...
                                                             *  *  *
“Hi everyone! I know you guys couldn’t care less for an intro so Imma get right into it...“ Y/N says, all seemingly in one breath, “You see this masked man next to me? This tree of a man right here? Yes? Good, well judging by that poorly made cardboard mask he’s wearing - curtsey of yours truly - you probably already know who he is. If not, meet Dream, aka Clay, aka the raincloud above my parade.“
That specific laugh echoes throughout the room as the said tree-of-a-man wraps an arm around the significantly smaller girl’s shoulders, pulling her closer till their sides collide, “She loves me, trust me, she does.”
“Only when you bring me food though.“ She corrects him, wiggling his shoulders to see if she could set herself free from his grip but relaxing in his embrace when she realizes she won’t be going anywhere unless he willingly lets her go.
Clay tilts his head to the side to look at her through the holes poked into the mask before lifting his free arm to reveal the plastic bag he’s been holding all this time. “Oh, well then I wonder what I’ve got over here...”
“Oh my God, Panda Express! You’re the best, Clay.“ She squeals, grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down while she simultaneously pushes up on her toes to place a kiss on his cheek which is a tiny bit exposed to her between the mask and the hood he’s got over his head.
Before the man could even recover, he finds himself empty handed, having lost the girl and having lost the bag of food to the girl.
That kiss was worth it though.
                                                             *  *  *
“Ok, so I’ve seen this ‘my girlfriend does my makeup’ challenge going around and since I’m single as all hell, I got my best friend Y/N here to do my makeup.“ Clay points to Y/N who’s holding a makeup bag in one hand and is giving him a very disappointed look, “Judging by the look on her face, she’s not at all impressed but I promise to make her a bit more excited to be here in editing.“
“Of course I’m unimpressed, this is the troll video of troll videos!“ She complains, throwing her arms up, “Sure I’ll do your makeup and get a kick out of it myself but none of them will see it!“ She points to the camera, “None of them will know what amazing makeup artist skills I’ve got.“
This leaves Clay speechless for a moment, uncertain of how to reply to her statement before just deciding to say: “Well, at least you’ll be getting a kick out of it, that’s all that matters to me.”
“Aww...“ Y/N bats her eyelashes at the camera as her bottom lip forms an emotional pout, “Please don’t be so sweet to me after I just verbally kicked your ass. You always do that and make me feel like the meanest person in the world.“
“Aww Y/N, I’m so sorry.“ He says, sounding genuinely apologetic as he wraps his arms around the girl that’s tiny in comparison to him, bringing her closer to him with his tight hug.
“YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN!“
                                                             *  *  *
“Hey Clay, I bought lunch on the way so I hope you’re-” Walking into her friend’s recording room abruptly, Y/N finds herself face to face with his webcam, the light next to which is glowing, suggesting the device is on and she’s currently on the screens of the thousands of people watching Dream’s stream. His mask is on - the one she made for him - of course, but she can still feel the aura of him smiling, relieving her of the worry that he’ll be irritated by her walking in like that - unannounced and without knocking. To be fair, they never announced to one another when they’d be stopping by and by this point in their friendship they have also stopped knocking too. “You’re streaming, huh?”
“Yup!“ The word is said in such a teasing manner she almost allows herself to blush, “What you got there tho?“
“Chipotle.“ She answers shortly, “And I’m starving so can we please turn your stream into a Mukbang?“ She furrows her brows as she inspects what’s on his computer screen, looking at a comment section instead of the usual screen of a game she’s used to seeing. “What are you doing, anyway?“
Looking back at his screen for a brief moment before turning back to her, Clay replies, “Oh, just reading mean comments, as one does to boost their self-esteem.”
The flash of anger he sees on Y/N’s face is most certainly not what he was inspecting to see. Mockery, yes. Humor, yes. Faux sympathy followed by some mean comments of her own, definitely. But he anger he did not see coming at all.
“Who’s talking shit about you? I’ll end them!“ Putting the plastic bag of delicious food aside, forgetting all about it in the process, Y/N grabs a chair and drags it over next to Clay’s so she too can look at his screen.
And that boy has never felt so much adoration for his best friend. Their fans - and especially their shippers - would’ve lost it if they had been able to see the look he was giving her.
                                                             *  *  *
(back to the ‘girlfriend/best friend does my makeup vid’)
“Ok, so what kind of look do you want me to give you?“ Y/N asks as she sits down on the stool in front of Clay, her makeup products placed on the dining table which is to her right.
“You ask me as though I know what I want.“ Clay laughs, the sticker of his mask floating above his face, following his movements as to keep his features hidden, “Just do the look you do on yourself everyday. It looks really cute on you, who knows, I might be able to pull it off too.“
“Sure thing.“ She smiles at her friend’s compliment, “Just stand still, ok?“
“Yes, ma’am.“
                                                            *  *  *
“Y/N, no! Stop!“ Clay warns her via the Discord call while the two are streaming Minecraft together alone for once, “Not another word!“
“But I really do feel bad!“ Y/N whines in response, “Why don’t you allow me to apologize?“
“Because there’s nothing to apologize for!“ He says, clearly done with the conversation, “I willingly gave you my jacket, you didn’t ask for it.“
“And now you’ve got a cold because of it!“ She continues arguing her case, “The least I can do is come over to take care of you.“
“I don’t need a pity nurse, thank you very much.“ Clay bites back, “But your company would be nice. Though I don’t want you to catch whatever cold I have.“
“I’d catch any cold for you, Clay.“ She replies teasingly - with a ton of honesty underneath that teasing.
Honesty both her and Clay are aware of. As well as the mob of people watching their streams right now.
                                                             ~  ~  ~ And so the snowball effect continues with little moments sprinkled throughout their online presences that make the snowball of shipping get bigger and bigger. Every now and then, both Y/N and Clay let little bits of their true adoration and admiration for the other slip through. And time and time again do those moments send their fans in a frenzy. 
Rightfully so.
@kia-isabelle
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taetaespeaches · 4 years
Text
“I never would’ve thought Agust D would be so soft after sex.”
yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: smut; fluff word count: 3.1K
a/n: ok, so, Kid is ready to give Yoon that good good just after hearing like half the mixtape, our girl hasn’t even seen the damn mv yet guys, like, she’s ready to pounce after just seven songs from her man. And honestly, mood. I hope you lovelies enjoy this, I hope it lives up to your expectations lmao, and thank you for reading :))
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YOU paced back and forth from one end of your kitchen to the other as you waited for Yoongi to answer his damn phone. I mean, seriously, how long does it take to pick up the-
“Hello?” Yoongi’s low voice interrupted your thoughts through the phone’s speaker.
Gasping, you eagerly asked, “Can I start listening?” omitting a proper greeting.
“Oh hey, I’m fine, how are you?” He teased.
You rolled your eyes, fully aware he couldn’t see you. “You’re expecting a lot of self-control from me right now, Min,” you complained.
Yoongi allowed himself to chuckle before responding with a humored, “if you want, you can listen, Kid.”
You squealed in excitement, bouncing around in front of the oven. “You’re sure? I don’t have to wait for you or anything?”
“Nah, I’m almost there anyway,” he told you, and you could tell by the tone of his voice he was grinning. “Just no music video yet,” he said in a whiny tone which you knew must be accompanied with a pout. He enjoyed watching your reaction to his music videos.
“No music video, I promise,” you smiled, absolutely fond of the man. “Oh my god, I’m not ready for this am I?” You yelled out, Yoongi scoffing in response.
“Jesus, you’re ridiculous,” he groaned.
“Shush, I’m hanging up, I have a long-awaited mixtape to listen to, thank you very much.”
“Ok fine, fine,” he laughed, but before you could hang up, Yoongi added, “Hey, Kid?” You hummed in response. “Love you.”
You’ve heard the words a million times, but it never failed to make your heart pound. However, that didn’t stop you from teasing him a bit. “Yeah, yeah, love you, I gotta go, priorities, baby. I don’t know if you’ve heard but the Agust D just made a comeback.”
He chuckled into the phone once more before giving you a, “See you in a bit,” and then hung up.
Immediately, you were pressing play on the mixtape on Spotify, already having had it pulled up for five minutes.
The first song, ‘Moonlight’, started off soft before scratching records came in, and then your boyfriend’s voice. When he gave his iconic laugh with an “August D” you smiled in pride. That’s my honey boy.
You turned your attention to the meal you were preparing for you and Yoongi, one of his favorites, stirring the contents in a big pot on the stovetop. Bopping along to the music, you listened to the lyrics that talked about his story, starting in Daegu to flying high with his group, how he goes through feelings of confidence in his work to feeling untalented, the struggles of writing this exact mixtape due to the pressure from a larger audience, expectations, and self-doubt. You knew those struggles all too well. You were with him throughout it all.
You’d been given glimpses of the songs throughout the writing process, some tracks in full while others you only saw lyric scribblings on those yellow notepads he leaves around his studio and that littered your apartment. You first saw the chorus to ‘Moonlight’ written on one of those notepads that sat on your bedside table.
“I like this,” you told your boyfriend, holding the notepad in one hand as the other found its way in his dampened hair, his face resting against your bare chest.
“Huh?” He looked up at you, his hand gripping your waist as his eyelids fluttered. The sheets were in disarray around your still nude forms. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah, is it for D-2?”
“Maybe,” he told you with a yawn. “Not sure.”
“I think you should use it,” you told him, your finger outlining the shell of his ear as his lips curved into a lazy smile. “It’s beautiful.”
“You really think so?” He asked, uncertain and a bit more awake.
“Yeah, definitely.”
He kissed the center of your chest before nuzzling his face further against your breasts. “You always know best, Kid.”
You felt your eyes prick with tears as you listened to the song, feeling immensely proud of your boyfriend. Of how hard he worked, of overcoming the doubt and fear, and just simply for the talent, passion, and artistry he shared with so many people.
As the mixtape played, you went through phases of dancing around, squealing in excitement, gasping at lyrics and phrasing, and more bouncing and dancing. You tried your best to focus on the lyrics, though you knew it would take a few listens to catch them all as you were too excited to comprehend everything just then.
Completely invested in the music, you didn’t hear your front door open, unaware of your boyfriend’s presence until he appeared in your peripheral, catching you doing a little strut that resembled Yoongi’s swagger walk he did on stage. Your head snapping to him, you were met with his gummy grin, his shoulders shaking in laughter as ‘Burn It’ continued to play throughout the kitchen.
“Are you leaving me for Agust D yet?” He teased, walking toward you.
“Do you realize how sexy you are? Like do you have any idea?” You asked accusatorily. “Like what the fuck, dude?”
“Jesus,” he huffed, a smile still plastered on his face. “You’re actually ridiculous.”
“Yeah, and you’re ridiculously talented, Min. You’re not told that enough,” you told him seriously. Reaching you, he placed his hands on your hips as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, stepping further into his arms.
“I’m told that plenty,” he dismissed with a bashful grin.
“No, you’re not,” you told him as ‘Burn It’ continued to play. Instead of responding to you, he kissed you which you immediately deepened, Yoongi stepping back a bit by the unexpected force behind your actions, though his arms wrapped tighter around your waist so your body was flush with his.
Pulling away, he chased your lips, making you smile. “I don’t even have the words right now to tell you how proud I am of you,” you told him seriously, tears forming in your eyes. You watched as Yoongi took a deep breath, keeping his own emotions under control at your sincere confession. “Just know I’m really proud,” you said as tears threatened to fall.
He quickly nodded just before bringing a hand to your jaw as he caught your lips again, giving you several quick pecks as he composed himself.
Letting out a breath that sounded to be one of relief, Yoongi peered around your frame, inspecting the food cooking on the stove, as well as the food that had spilled outside of the pot, with a grin. “That looks good.”
“Hopefully,” you said with a smile as Yoongi nuzzled his face against your neck, refusing to let you go. With the overwhelming pride and love you felt, mixed with the fact that the man on the mixtape was all yours, and he was standing in your kitchen, in your arms, pressing sweet kisses to your neck, you had a sudden desire for him.
As ‘People’ started playing, you were instantly struck with the memory of coming to his studio as he was working on that very track. It was just the instrumental then, but it was interesting and different from the other stuff he had been working on. Yoongi must have been thinking upon the same memory as he lifted his head, a gummy grin directed to you as his eyes found yours.
“I remember the night you wrote this,” you smiled, biting your lower lip. That night, you had spent about an hour of it sitting on his desk as Yoongi sat in his chair in front of you, his chin resting on your knees as you both discussed your ideas of life, and people, and changes, and what it all meant, if it even meant anything.  
You had already been dating for well over a year, but it was a moment where you and Yoongi felt a closeness between you both that hadn’t really been there before, becoming more mentally and emotionally attune with each other.
The conversation eventually faded out, the intense feeling of understanding between you both leading to you having sex on his studio couch.
“Trust me, I remember it very well,” he chuckled, his mind running through every moment of that night, from the feeling of closeness, to the warmth of your body underneath his as he pressed you against the couch cushions, the way you moaned his name and whispered ‘I love you’s’.
As the chorus of ‘People’ sounded from your laptop, your eyes widened at the sultry soothe of your boyfriend’s vocals.
“Since when do you sing like that, Min?” You teased with a smile, your eyes bouncing around his soft features. As he let out a breathy chuckle, you slid your your hands down his neck to rest overtop his collarbones as you leaned toward him and kissed him deeply.
The action took him by surprise though he easily found his rhythm, his hands slipping underneath your shirt, feeling at the bare skin of your waist.
As you began backing up, he quickly felt around to shut the stove off before following you toward the bedroom, never breaking the kiss. Your hands found his waist as his moved to your face, taking control. You began lifting his shirt up, you both separating just long enough for you to pull it over his head and discard it somewhere in the hallway outside your room.
Eagerly, you unbuttoned his jeans, Yoongi helping you get the clothing off him as he released his hold on you to step out of them. Backing up, your legs hit the edge of the bed and you locked your eyes with your boyfriend’s. Smirking at him, you pulled your own shirt off before unhooking your bra and letting it fall to the floor at your feet.
Yoongi bit his lip, his eyes settling on your chest before slowly dragging them back up to meet your darkened gaze. Tilting his head at you, you quipped, “What are you waiting for?” Yoongi scoffed before approaching you and pushing your body so you fell against the mattress. He reached for the waist of your jeans, taking no time in unzipping them and tugging them down your legs, you lifting your hips to help him. Your panties were removed next, Yoongi dropping them to floor as he allowed his eyes to rake over your body, taking in every inch of you.
You sat up on your elbows, watching the man as he looked over your nude form. “For a man who brags an awful lot about being a king and a boss, you seem a bit timid, baby,” you teased in a sultry tone.
Your boyfriend scoffed again, a smirk forming on his lips. “Be patient,” he scolded, though he stepped toward you, nudging your inner knee with his leg, making you widen the gap between your thighs as he stared down at your center.
“My patience disappeared the moment I clicked play on that mixtape,” you smiled. “I want you.” With that, you sat up, your hands slipping underneath the waistband of his underwear, lowering them until they easily slid down his legs, pooling at his feet. You kept eye contact with him as you left a sweet kiss to his lower abdomen, just above his pelvic area.
He let out a quick breath as he smiled, lowering his body on top of yours, your back meeting the mattress. “If I had known Agust D would get you this worked up I would have released a mixtape two years ago,” he joked, your hands grabbing onto his sides as his lips found yours, kissing you passionately.
One of his arms was being used to prop himself up overtop you as his opposite hand slid down to your core, his fingers feeling between your legs. He groaned into your mouth at feeling how wet you’d become, and you smiled against his lips.
Not wanting to wait any longer, you used your strength to push against his body, rolling him over and straddling his hips. Yoongi’s breath was heavy and shallow as he anticipated being inside you, his large hands gripping your hips, his eyes eagerly taking in the sight of your form on top of him. He always did love you on top.
Placing one of your hands to his chest, your other found his hardened length. You stroked him a few times, Yoongi letting out a soft moan at the feeling, his hand sliding up your abdomen to your breast as he squeezed the supple flesh in his palm. At his touch, you guided him to your entrance, sharply intaking breath at the feeling of him slipping inside, letting the air out in a throaty moan.
“Fuck, Kid,” Yoongi breathed out, pinching your nipple between his fingers as you moved your hand from his dick to his chest, bracing yourself against him as you began slowly grinding atop him. Yoongi’s hand left your breast to your thigh, clutching the muscle as he bit his lip, watching your body move. “You’re so fucking hot.”
You held back a moan as you increased your pace, looking up to the ceiling before squeezing your eyes shut as he hit particularly deep. “Fuck,” you breathed out, lowering your gaze to Yoongi’s face, meeting his hooded eyes as he looked up at you in bliss.
His chest was like velvet underneath your hands and you wanted to feel more of his skin on yours. As if reading your mind, Yoongi moved his hands to your lower back, pulling you toward him so your chest was flush with his. He kissed you messily as he lifted his hips off the bed to move in and out of you as he held you to his body.
“I love you so much,” he confessed shakily against your lips, his breathing erratic due to the pleasure you were giving him.
“Oh my god, Yoongi, I love you,” you moaned, moving your face to his neck where you kissed and nibbled his skin lightly.
Wanting to treat him, you reluctantly pulled yourself away from him, sitting back up as you rocked back and forth on him, arching your back and placing a hand to his thigh to support yourself. Yoongi’s hands grabbed onto the sides of your legs as he watched you, looking more and more fucked out the longer you rode him.
Eyeing his thin but toned body, his smooth skin, and the flex of his abdomen as he took sharp breaths, you groaned. “You look so good,” you told him, admiring the man beneath you. Your man. All yours. “Feel so good,” you moaned.
One of Yoongi’s hands left your leg to find your hand that was pressed against his lower abdomen. He took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours before bringing it to his lips and kissing your knuckles softly as he locked his gaze on yours.
The intimate action had your lower abdomen tightening. Sitting up straight, you brought your hand toward him which he grabbed with his other hand, helping you to support yourself as your motions atop him became hastier, approaching your high.
“Yoon, I’m gonna-”
“I know, baby,” he nodded, squeezing your hands as you neared your climax. “Me too.”
You let out a whimper, lowering your body to Yoongi’s again, your dewy chest meeting his, Yoongi wrapping his arms around your lower back as you both worked each other into your finishes. Yoongi buried his face in your neck as he let out small muffled grunts, you breathing out a moan in his ear. As he came, he hugged your body to his tightly, letting go inside you. The feeling of him releasing had you crashing into your own high, biting your lip as you moaned breathily, Yoongi kissing your neck sweetly as you came down.
You relaxed atop Yoongi, breathing heavy as his fingers toyed with the small of your back, soothing back and forth along the curve of your ass. You had a hand on his neck, slipping your fingers into his damp strands, your other hand on his chest, dragging your fingers along his pectoral.
“The mixtape is really good,” you assured him in a whisper, kissing his jaw. “Well, what I’ve heard so far.”
Yoongi let out a breathy chuckle, flattening a palm on your lower back. “Thank you, Kid.”
“No need to thank me, I’m just being honest.”
“No, thank you for always supporting me. In everything,” he clarified, emotion thick in his voice.
You lifted your head to peer at his face, catching the glassy shine in his eyes. “Always,” you assured him.
He nodded, looking at you with a soft smile. “I know,” he whispered, barely audible, giving away that he didn’t trust his voice, knowing it would break if he spoke louder. “It means- you mean the world.”
You lowered your lips to his face, giving his plush cheek a small kiss. “I never would’ve thought Agust D would be so soft after sex,” you teased with a big smile, Yoongi scoffing, though he couldn’t hold back his gummy grin.
He groaned loudly, stretching his arms over his head. “I’m starving,” he changed the topic, making you giggle.
“Well, lucky for you, your girlfriend made you a delicious nearly cooked meal that is probably very cold at this point,” you smirked.  
“Oh, lucky for me?” He questioned with a small smile.
“Mhmm,” you confirmed with a small chuckle.
Yoongi sucked air between his teeth, ticking his head to the side. “Remind me to wife you up later.”
You scoffed playfully, rolling off his body as you prepared to stand up and find some clothes. “In your dreams, Min.”
Scooping your t-shirt off the floor, you slipped it over your head before grabbing a pair of panties from your dresser drawer, all while Yoongi’s eyes followed your every move. Sending your boyfriend an air kiss from where he sat at the edge of the bed watching you, you walked toward the bedroom door. “Hurry up and get dressed, Gramps, I need your album commentary.”
You exited the room, turning toward the bathroom to clean yourself up. Yoongi shook his head with a chuckle. “Yeah, in my dreams,” he mumbled as he stood up to get dressed. Taking his sweet ass time, you walked back past the bedroom toward the kitchen, noticing him still stumbling around for a shirt.
“Hey, hustle, Min! I still have a music video to watch, my dude!” You called out to him as he looked to you with widened eyes. “Your shirt is out here, by the way.”
“Ah, what did I tell you about patience,” he whined out, a pout on his lips as he walked through the hallway, grabbing his shirt on his way, feeling full of appreciation and adoration for you.  
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renohasbigtits · 3 years
Note
Could you do the bros trying to woo their comically oblivious crush? Like the boys are trying to drop hints but SO just does not pick up on it unless the boys straight up say something like “I want to kiss you. On the mouth. Romantically.” (I just get a kick out of the “oblivious love interest” because I also don’t understand subtle hints lol)
This is sooo me. I’m Autistic so I miss when people are flirting with me 😅
Also you’d be surprised how many people how already done a Chocobros with a oblivious crush.
I almost denied this request because so many have done it already but why the hell not?
Here we goooo!
Noctis
He doesn’t know how much patience he has left. Your a lot more clueless than he thought...
He’s tried to flirt with you, but you just don’t pick up on them! He’s getting a bit frustrated.
“Is she/he/they doing this on purpose?!” he thinks.
Eventually, He turns to Ignis for help.
Ignis suggests that he should just straight up tell you how he feels.
It takes awhile but he finally builds up the courage to confess to you.
He invites you to his place and you curiously walk inside, unaware of what’s gonna happen.
“Noct... you said that you wanted to talk to me about something, is everything ok?”
Noct thought for a second before starting.
“Y/n...I really like you.”
“Aww! I like you to Noct!”
He annoyingly sighed.
“Seriously?” He said annoyed.
That caught your attention. Why was he annoyed?
“What’s wrong Noct?”
He turned to you and sighed one more.
“I have feelings for you.”
“I-
“I’m IN love with you Y/n.”
You were so shocked. You literally had no idea!
“Noct I-
“It’s fine. I know it’s sudden and probably weird and-
You stopped him mid-sentence and held his arm, tightly and lovely.
“I love you too, Noct.”
Poor baby. Frozen up like a scared kitty.
But it worked, so it was worth it.
“Me too Y/n.”
Prompto
He’s always had a thing for you but you didn’t seem to noticed.
Not like it was completely your fault.
Prompto has a very bad habit of self sabotaging himself, before he can tell you how he feels.
Until today!
He invited you to a photo shoot at the river and you were the model!
You were so excited to be his model but obviously, he planned to confess his feelings to you.
Once you both reached to the river, Prompto awkwardly turned to you and tried to make conversation.
“So uh... pretty weather today eh?”
“Yeah! Perfect day for pictures!” You smiled.
That smile. That smile he fell in love with.
He started blushing hard and you noticed it.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling ok?”
“Oh uh..y-yeah! I’m just uh damn.” He swerved away. Ashamed that he failed again.
You didn’t understand what was wrong with him but you wanted to help him.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Uhhh..” Oh my god, his face was red as a tomato.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on but I want you to know that it’s ok if you want to talk to me to about it. I’m all ears.”
“...”
“C’mon Prompto. Silence isn’t going to make me underst-
“WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?” He yelled out.
The sudden confession caught you off guard.
“Uh sorry! F-forget I said anything!” He awkwardly tried to playing it cool. Oh Prompto.
“Prompto.”
“...Yeah?”
You gave him a small peck on his freckled cheek.
“I’d would love to go out with you.”
Ignis
He said he would never fall in love. He dedicated his whole life to Noct. He didn’t need anyone else.
Well that was... until he met you.
You were so delicate. Did everything at ease. Calm and sweet, you were a beam of light.
A beam of light that went into Ignis’s heart. He fell in love.
He tried for so long to keep his feelings under wrap. He didn’t wanna come off as “unprofessional”.
But he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. True love was a rare thing you see, and it shouldn’t be wasted.
He didn’t wanna lose you.
He made a plan. Make a fancy dinner with your favorite food, drink, and most importantly,
Confess his feelings towards you.
Since he was very aware of your nativity, he thought that a direct approach would help.
You entered his small but nice little apartment, smelling the delicious food cooking.
“Ah! That smells so good!”
Ignis giggled. Your positivity was something he deeply admired about you.
“Why, thank you darling. It’ll taste good as it smells.” He smiled back at you.
20 minutes passed, it was done and your both sat done to eat this wonderful meal.
It was delicious! Every taste was like heaven! You loved it so much.
But one thing was confusing you; what was this for?
Ignis didn’t speak to you much. And when he did, it was professional and monotone.
Tonight was different. He was smiling and seem beaming with happiness.
It was a different side of Ignis. A side that was rare but you were lucky enough to see it.
“Ignis..”
“Yes Y/n?”
“This was such a great meal.” You started “I’ve never had such a great meal until now.”
Ignis nodded contently.
“..But...” That ‘but’ got Ignis’s attention. “But what is this for?”
Although you his face didn’t show much emotion, his eyes does all the talking.
His eyes basically said “There on to me.”
Ignis coughed before saying,
“I made to show my feelings towards.”
“Oh.” You said. Thinking he was just being kind and wanted to share his feelings about you in a ‘friendly’ way.
“Well, thank you for for meal. I’ll be going.”
Ignis’s eyes deepen. “They didn’t get it, did they?!”
Ignis realizing his plan was failing and not waiting to wait anymore, he got in front of the door.
“Y/n. Perhaps I should be more direct.”
“What do you mean? I thought it was-
“I have feelings for you, darling. For awhile, I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“...Ignis..”
“I wanted to show my feelings through food but that didn’t work.” He chuckled a bit. Laughing at his own “failure”.
The realization hit you. The Ignis Scientia was in love with you?
“Ignis I-
“You don’t need to say anything darling. I was-
You interrupted him by giving him a big hug.
Any affection was foreign to Iggy and usually, unwanted. But this was the few exception.
You snuggled to his clothing. It was warm and comfortable.
“I love you Iggy.” You whispered to his chest.
Oh his heart was on fire tonight. His plan was a success.
“I love you too, Y/n.”
Gladiolus
This man was a known womanizer.
Every woman loved him and every man wanted to be him.
Who could blame them? He was strong, had a cool hawk tattoo, beautiful eyes and hair.
But he was also feared.
He looked intimidating. He could fight anyone if he wanted to.
But that’s a front.
Deep down, he’s a gentle giant underneath.
He wanted to love anyone just as anyone else wanted.
You saw the true Gladiolus.
A kind, smart, book reader, strong of course but more than his strength.
That’s what Gladio loved about you. You knew the Real Gladio.
He couldn’t help but fall for you.
But he was frustrated with his lack of progress with you, due to your lack of awareness to his feelings towards you.
He was sure he was so obvious but you mistook as “friendliness”.
He finally had enough and was going to tell you straight up, that he was in love with you.
“Y/n!” He called to you.
“Oh hi Gladly! What can I do for you today?”
“I love you.”
“Aww.” You touched. Gladio was never known to say ‘I love you’ especially to the people that were closest to him. “I love you to!”
“Really?!” He said suprised even that didn’t work!
“What?”
“You don’t get it do you?”
“What? What’s up?”
“I’m in love with you!” He looked at you with a little smirk seeing your shocked and embarrassed face.
“I didn’t know.” You whispered.
“I thought I was being kinda obvious!”
You stood there awkwardly and having a hard time looking into his eyes.
You felt embarrassed for not knowing sooner.
Gladiolus smugly said “it’s ok, just say you’ll go on a date with me.”
You giggled. His blunt humor seemed to calm your nerves.
“I would like to go on a date with you, Gladio.”
A/N: This is different eh? I want to try something new.
Hopefully you like it!
Also sorry this took so long! Depression is a real bitch :/


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Text
Shot In The Dark
Pairing: Zemo X Reader
Summary: zemo,Y/n,Sam, and Bucky need to escape from Madripoor
Warning: Shooting, Blood, Protective Zemo{i’m not sure thats a warning though}, Self doubt, Ex HYDRA, language, TFATSW slight spoliers I went off plot for this
I did research people in sacovia spoke German and russian sometimes a combination.
Requested by: @joyfulinternettraitor
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Madripoor was a vile city to Y/n it looked at lot like Las Vegas. Currently Y/n was looking out the window while Zemo negoated with Selby, while Sam pretended to be someone named Smiling tiger and bucky acted like the winter soldier. Y/n was there having to pretend to be Zemo’s ‘pet’ which no one was very thrilled about. Y/n looked aover at Zemo and he motioned for Y/n to come over to him,
“Komm her liebling,” (English: Come here darling) Y/n sat beside him she didn’t know much of Sacovian language but she knew enought to hod a simple conversation. he put his arm arounf her and whispered “apologies” to her. She had to look smitten with him this wasn’t the first time she had to pretend to be involved wth him she had to under cover when she worked for HYDRA but right now she was doing a pretty good job she had managed to fool Bucky and Sam. Things were going well until Sarah called. Y/n moved a bit closer to Zemo when sam was told to put the call on speaker phone. Y/n whispered to Zemo,
“Das wird nicht gut enden,” (English: It won’t end well) she grabbed Zemo’s arm Y/n looked at Zemo then heard a shot and saw Selby on the floor a bullet through her head. Zemo grabbed Y/n pulling them out of the room.
“Follow me,” He grabbed your hand pulling you with him somehow he was still keeping up the act. Bucky and sam werent far behind they got out of the bar and started running right before bullets started flying at them, “Damn it.” he shouted as sam more of jogged had the situation been diffrent Y/n would have laughed at how rediculous sam looked.
“I can’t run in these heels!” sam shouted to bucky who was running infront of them.
“Try being me!” Y/n yelled she was half tempted to take the shoes off and run. through the streets barefoot, “At lest your hells downt slip through a freaking vent!”
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“Y/n if I recall corectly you used to fight in worse clothes and shoes than that when we were with HYDRA.” Zemo shouted back to her she rolled her eyes and threw the shoes offas she ran,
“Baron I suggest you shut up and keep yourself from getting shot!” zemo ran off to a side street and Y/n followed him, “If sam hadn’t gotten that damn call!”
“I’m aware, liebling,” he said and stopped since no one was shooting anymore, “I think we’re safe dor the moment-” he looked down and notice her shoes gone, “When did you do that?”
“A while back Baron,” she said then saw something move in the shadows and the shine of light refelcting on a gun pointed at zemo, “Zemo move!” She shoved him out of the way and the bullet hit Y/n and she fell on the ground, “Fuck!”
“Y/N!!” Zemo shouted and shot his gun in the direction the bullet came from before going to Y/n, “Your boys are gonna kill me. Where did you get hit?” She had her hand on her thigh, “I think it’s safe to assume you can’t walk.” he ripped part of his shirt and wrapped it around Y/n’s wound befor carfully picking her up bridal style. He carried her being causous of who was around to find Sam and Bucky. when he finally found them they checked to make sure you weren’t in any life or death danger. Sharon walked towards them. Zemo noticed you were slipping in and out of consciousness, “Apologies for the interupption but we need to get Y/n somewhere where her wound can be tended to.”
They arrived at sharons house and sharon opened the door to a room with a first aid kit. Zemo took her in the room and covered her with a blanket only leaving the area he needed to work on visible. He was getting the bullet out and the pain from it woke Y/n up she tried to sit up but Zemo gently pushed her down.
“I need you to stay down and stay still, schatz,” Zemo pulled the bullet out of the wound and began cleaning it and holding a cloth on it until her blood started clotting, “You are a foolish girl.”
“Oh god now you sound like peirce.”
“Well I’m saying it for diffrent reasons. You shouldn’t have shoved me out of the way. I accepted death many years ago.” he said and got hit on the back of the head, “Ouch! what was that for?!”
“Bad Helmut,” She sat up, “you accepted death because you want to see your wife and son again.”
“How do you know about-”
“Hydra files were released remember? Everything about you, about me, and bucky everything was release. I know you were sent to help defend against ultron and it took two days to find them. I know what it’s like. You met me after my fiance died.”
“You still shouldn’t have taken that bullet!!”
“Because I don’t want you to die!”
“Why!!”
“Because Zemo I care about you I thought you’d know that from The fact that I have vsited you every day for the past eight years. Hell I vistited you on christmas and ditch a new years date with Bucky to visit you. He doesnt know I went to see you.”
“You pity me. No one can understand what I did,” He walked toward the door Y/n got up and grabbed his wrist as a pain shot through her leg she ignored it.
“You really don’t understand do you?” She made him look at her, “I do understand. Pierce’s PA in HYDRA didn’t run away. Starks building didnt blow a fuse. I have been getting reveger on everyone my former fiance knew for years. I finished right before Thanos came here. it’s not the same but it would put me in a cell right next to you if they knew.”
“Y/n...” He turned to her and th silence made her realize the pain shooting through her body. She grabbed onto him so she wouldn’t fall as the the door opened. Zemo picked her up setting her back on the bedto take fix the wound fully. He held a cloth against the wound again as Walker came in the room.
“Well two criminals in one room. Must be my lucky day-...oh it’s just the freak and Zemo.”
“I can beat your-“ she is cutt off by the pain from Zemo stiching it.
“Well you were harboring a criminal so I get to take you and zemo to that prison you Freak.”
“Perhaps you should put your lack of braincells to better use somewhere else I need to help Y/n and your voice is highly annoying!” Zemo snapped at Walker. Bucky heard them arguig and pulled John out of the room. Zemo continued, “Humor me. How much of our under covers was an act”
“lets put it this way most of your apologies were unnecessary.”
“That isn’t an answer that makes sence,” he said and tied off the wrapping on her leg. She sighed,
“for an observant man you are very dull. Maybe youll uder stand this, Ich liebe dich,” (English: I love You) She kissed his cheek before going to stop Bucky and john from killing eachother. Zemo sat there in shock and confused at her action and what she had said. He didn’t know if she ment it platonically or not.
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alirhi · 3 years
Text
10 Sebastian roles as boyfriends
Because... I'm bored and I feel like it. 😂 Probably some spoilers for, like... everything? So yeah... That.
Putting it under here for easy scrolling:
10: Chase Collins
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Who doesn't love a goofball? In the first half of the movie, Chase is basically perfect. He's sweet, funny, not all caught up in his ego, and actually pays attention to what the girls around him are saying, not just to what he wants to hear. If not for the whole... it was all an act to get close to Caleb and try to steal his magic thing, Chase would actually be a damn good high school boyfriend. He's adorable and would be a fun date, but he's also only 18 so best not to start making long-term plans lol. Also, y'know... the whole psycho revenge/power grab thing.
9 Jack Benjamin
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Y'all. Y'all. Words cannot describe how much I love Jack. Pretty sure I've made this clear. As a person/character in general, he's absolutely in my Top 3 - not just of Sebastian's characters, but any character ever. ❤ But as a boyfriend? Boy's got baggage. It's what makes me so protective of him, but seeing as how he's trapped in the closet thanks to his overbearing homophobic family and the insane expectations heaped on him, as the show left him, he can't handle an honest relationship. He's too easily influenced by all the wrong people, poor babe.
8 Chris (Destroyer)
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On paper, undercover cop sounds cool and exciting, but even if you ignore the fact that he, y'know, dies... Chris got in too deep and kinda lost the mission, so to speak. Best case scenario, you're his sexy partner and in on it all with him and end up on the lam for the rest of your lives. Worst case, this man lies for a living, so can you even trust him? And... yeah. The whole dead thing. Chris is hot af but getting involved with him is a recipe for disaster.
7 Ben
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Min and Hathor have mercy, I love Ben! He's smart, he's snarky, he's caring and loyal... he's an absolute disaster. He's another one who seems allergic to honesty, until his lying and avoiding nearly kill his girlfriend. Not exactly relationship goals lol. Everything before totally was, though! Ben's adorable, and I love how he stayed up all night to protect his girlfriend (from a ghost/demon thing... with a baseball bat. I said he was smart, not perfect, okay? XD points for effort lol)
6 Mickey Henry
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I. LOVE. MICKEY. Oml I love Mickey. He's a spazz and - even more so than Ben - an absolute disaster of a human being, but I love him. Pros for dating Mickey Henry: he's fun, he's carefree, he'll cook for you even though he's kinda bad at it lol, he loves his son and wants to be a good dad, he wants his partner to be happy and to love life as much as he does. Cons, and the reason he's not higher on the list: He's a pushover; easily influenced by the toxic people in his life, and it gets him into a lot of trouble. Being easily influenced by toxic dumpster fire of a human being Chloe almost lost him the partial custody of his son that he barely even had. He's an absolute sweetheart, but he's a complete man-child, and dating him would often feel more like raising him.
5 Frank "Suffer Buddy"
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Come on! You know he and Mickey had to be back-to-back - they're practically the same character! 😂 Frank is Mickey... slightly more grown up. He's still a disaster, but he's respectful of boundaries, he's caring, he's funny in a dry, witty way that I just adore, and hoo lordy that man is a giver! 🥴🥵 Honestly, if he didn't smoke and didn't ditch Daphne in the middle of a party hours away from everything familiar to her surrounded by strangers to go do drugs, I'd call Frank perfect. He listened, he respected her wishes, he tried to keep some distance between them when he found out she'd gone on a date with his best friend (it failed utterly and brought us to the "damn that man's good with his mouth" portion of the movie lmao but still)... I don't have a whole lot of experience with men who actually give a shit, okay? So Frank is like a goddamn unicorn to me lmao. But that drug thing... That keeps him at the bottom of the Top 5 for me. Sorry, bb
4 Bucky
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I can already hear everyone on here raging at me for placing Bucky so low on this list, but hear me out: I love this man. I love all four iterations of this man. Flirty 40s Bucky was a doll (fun date, not commitment material). Post-POW camp 40s Bucky had a fire to him that set me on fire. The Winter Soldier can choke me any damn day. Unf. And TFATWS Bucky... Oh, lady above, 2023 Bucky is a gem! He's sweet, snarky, and broken. He feels utterly, wretchedly alone in the world, and everyone around him, including his only friend, is telling him to "man up" and "make amends" for shit that was never his fault to begin with, rather than helping him come to terms with all that he's suffered and all that he's survived. Bucky needs and deserves love. A relationship with him would be so solid, if he found the right person... But it would take a fuck ton of work. He needs someone strong, patient, and more stubborn than he is to prod him until he finds a better therapist and actually opens up, and to keep him on track because even good therapy comes with homework. He does have to "do the work," Sam was right about that much, but he was way off base with what that "work" is. Bucky needs help and understanding, and he would be an amazing boyfriend... if he found someone with the strength to help him weather his nightmares and flashbacks, and help pull him out of this PTSD pit he's been in since 1943.
3 Chris Beck
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Big brains turn me on, okay? 😂This man is an astronaut and a surgeon! Yes, please! Come here, you sexy genius! He's smart, he's funny - pretty sure Sebastian is incapable of playing anyone who's not delightfully snarky lol. He's pragmatic when he needs to be but there's also nothing he wouldn't do or risk for the ones he loves. This man is husband material and I cannot be convinced otherwise! So why isn't he #1? Cuz of the whole... spending years in space, thing. Super cool job and I'd be his biggest fan on the ground, but god damn, I would miss him while he's away!
2 TJ Hammond
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Look, I'm gender fluid and he's a little bit bi 😂😂😂 Let me have my fantasy, okay? TJ's definitely got a lot of shit to work through, but love brings out the best in him. Before that fucking closeted shitbag broke his heart and stomped on it for good measure, TJ was clean and sober for months, he was happy, he was playing piano again, he was pulling himself together. Not only would he be an amazing boyfriend, but his partner would get the extra joy of getting to watch their love and devotion to him be the thing that saves this beautiful man's life. It's not healthy overall to tie your self worth and will to live to a relationship, but if he found the right person who would be there for him through all of life's shit and stick it out, I think he'd be okay. Even after his lowest point and without the support of his family, TJ still had a dream and he still chased it. He's not just the sweetest person to ever grace our screens, but he's ambitious and business-savvy, too. Keep him off drugs and watch this man take over the world, I'm telling you!
So why is TJ only #2? Well, besides the fact that he's like 99% gay and I have no bits he'd be interested in lmao, there's also the fact that this guy owns my heart:
1 Will Franklyn
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And not just because we get to see him wet and mostly naked lol. Will is fucking perfect. I would die for this man... because he's already shown that he would die for his love. He almost fucking did, and they weren't even together yet! He's smart and very aware, he's a writer so we'd get to bond/geek out over books together, he's not all full of himself (self-deprecating humor ftw!) and he's willing to help a total stranger despite actual mortal peril, just because it's the right thing to do. Fierce, intelligent, sassy, strong-willed, and a flawless moral compass? YESYESYESYESYES! Forget boyfriend - let me MARRY this man! 😍🥰
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infinitebells · 3 years
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Hello, I really like your blog a lot! If you still take them, I'd like to make a request. How about William Moriarty, Sherlock Homes, and Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen) neglecting their s/o because they are busy. But they make it up to them with a sensual and passionate night (nsfw pls). I hope this is okay. Take care! <3
oh yes this is brilliant. also i'm going to keep this gender neutral since a gender wasn't specified so it's smut very under the cut.
william
✧ at first you’re well aware that he hasn’t been spending time with you because he’s busy
✧ however, as time goes on, the self doubt gnaws at the back of your mind, and you don’t even realize just how much it’s been affecting you until you can’t even get out of bed one day
✧ all that runs through your head is that he’s probably neglecting you because he’s fallen out of love
✧ william’s been far to busy to see how much his lack of affection has affected you
✧ it isn’t until you can’t even look up at the table during breakfast to say hi to him, and when you do finally look up there are dark bags under your eyes and your eyes are extremely bloodshot
✧ when you see how he's staring at you in shock, you flee the table and lock yourself in your room for the entire day
✧ it isn't until it's almost midnight when william finally goes into your room, his mind running a mile a minute, that he realizes just how badly you've been feeling
✧ the entire day he had been thinking of ways to make it up to you, so by the time he's in bed with you, he already knows what to do
"my love, i'm sorry for neglecting you so much. allow me to show you how much i love you ok?" he says from on top of you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, swollen from you biting them. it was a nervous habit you had developed over the years.
"what do you mean?" your voice is soft, and he can hear the exhaustion in it.
"let me take care of you for the night okay?" he doesn't wait for an answer, unbuttoning the shirt you were wearing. he was pleased to see it was one from his own closet. his lips move from yours, traveling down your jawline and tracing the line of your neck. he hears a content sigh from you, and he smiles against your skin as he continue his path down your neck.
"will, if you don't love me anymore just tell me," his eyes widen as your words, one hand coming to rest next to your head as the other gently massages your hip.
"i'm so madly in love with you i can't imagine my life without you," he breathes out, moving back down to trail kisses down your naked front. "i'm so sorry i haven't been treating you the way you properly deserve," he murmurs against your skin. your honest whimpers shake your body upon feeling william's lips against your clothed groin, and you can feel his soft smile against you.
"let me treat you like the royalty you are,"
✧ ✧ ✧ 
sherlock
✧ he gets so caught up in his cases that he honest to god just forgets about anything else in his life
✧ he once forgot john at a restaurant they were having lunch at because he saw someone struggling with a mugger trying to steal their bag and he sprinted out to go help
✧ so you're used to him being an airhead sometimes and forgetting about spending time with you
✧ however, this time around it had been going on for weeks, and it was almost like you didn't even exist at this point
✧ the self conscious feeling had been eating away at you, and john had started to notice how you skipped meals with him and sherlock and how you rarely left your room unless it was to lock yourself in miss hudson's room
✧ once watson pointed this out to sherlock, he felt extremely stupid because how could he be so neglectful of his wonderful partner?
✧ he decides to surprise you, making sure you were tucked safely in miss hudson's room for the day so he could have time to prepare the surprise
"what is this?" your voice was shaky, the dry sobs from earlier still shaking your body. the room you shared with sherlock was awash in the gentle glow of candles on every available surface, and rose petals traced a path to the bed. sherlock was laid on top of the made up bedding, and sherlock himself was spread out on his side, his elbow on the bed as his hand supported his head. he was shirtless, loose pants barely covering his bottom half, and a beautiful red rose stuck between his teeth. it was a scene straight out of a romance novel.
"i'm making up for being a horrible, horrible boyfriend for the past few weeks," he informs you, the rose falling out of his mouth as his hand beckons you to the bed. you hesitantly edge forward, kneeling down on the bed in front of him. he could see how tense you were, body trembling as tears flooded your eyes. he got up from his spot on the bed, sitting cross legged as he drags you onto his lap, hands finding your face and holding you gently. he was scared if he held any tighter he'd shatter your delicate, beautiful aura.
"n-no, if you don't want to be together any-" his hand moves, palm covering your mouth as he shakes his head.
"you're not getting rid of me that easily. i'm here to stay, and i'm going to make up for not being there for you. i was a very stupid boyfriend, and i'm going to show you how much i love you," he murmurs quietly, hand tilting your head back as his lips find your neck. his touch is barely there, but as one hand finds your hip and the other holds your jaw in place to the side, you're aware of the fact that he's just getting started. he switches from kissing the junction between your neck and shoulder to biting down, hard, and pushing your hips down onto his. you can feel his bulge beneath you, and the moan that falls from your lips is involuntary.
"sherlock," you mumble out, eyes fluttering closed. his kisses and nips grow harder, and his hips gyrate up into yours at a steady pace. both of your breaths pick up, and both of his hands land on your hips and push you down harshly onto his. the groan that rumbles through his chest sounds heavenly, and it pulls a whine out of you.
"fuck darling, i missed you so much," he whispers against your neck, tugging at your night shirt before pulling it off completely. you're both topless, bare torsos pushed together as his finally pulls his face out of your neck and meets your gaze.
"i missed you too detective holmes," you tease, grinding your own hips down onto his. he groans loudly, flipping you two over. rose petals fly up beside you at the force, but your attention is on the man above you, and the aroused smirk plastered across his face.
"oh, i definitely missed this," he says before yanking your pants down harshly.
✧ ✧ ✧ 
gojo
✧ gojo-sensei honestly has a maximum of three thoughts in his head at all times, and no he's not stupid he just cannot focus on too many things at once or he'll get severely overwhelmed
✧ so between dealing with a reincarnated yuji, hiding his existence from the higher-ups, and dealing with multiple unregistered special grade curses, he just has not had extra time to spend with you
✧ you're well aware and understanding of his added stress, but your insecurities plague you despite knowing this
✧ the logical part of you knows he's just busy, but your negative thoughts simply weighed you down to the point where both yuji and nanami could see how tired you were
✧ gojo only realized how neglected you had been feeling when sukuna popped up on yuji's cheek to make a snide comment about how if gojo wasn't going to take care of his s/o properly, then sukuna would gladly take over for him
✧ immediately rushes home to spend the rest of the night with you
the frantic pounding on your shared bedroom does nothing to rouse you, and when gojo finally unlocks the door and rushes into the room, you're still laying on the bed with your back facing him.
"sweetheart?" his voice is soft, and you feel the bed dip behind you. you stay facing the wall, desperately hoping he won't see the tears sliding across your face. you're proved wrong when his hand tugs on your shoulder, moving you so you're on your back and his face is hovering over yours. his blindfold is hanging around his neck, blue eyes gazing into yours.
"yeah?" you can't stop how your voice cracks, and it only serves to further embarrass you. his face drops, arms pulling you close to him so that your body is beneath his as he hovers over you, one arm propping him up. the other hand rests on your cheek, and you can't help the onslaught of tears that follows his affection. your eyes squeeze shut, and you barely suppress a sob.
"shh, shh, no baby don't cry, i'm so sorry for how i've been acting. i've been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad boyfriend," he says, and his heart softens as he hears a small laugh from you at the reference to one of your favorite movies. "seriously sweetheart, i'm incredibly sorry for not spending time with you. am i allowed to show you how much i love you?" he asks, and when you open your eyes, you can't miss the signature mischievous glint in his startling blue eyes.
"how so?" he gazes down at your wide eyes, tears glistening on your lower lashline and mouth slightly agape in wonder. you look unbelievably beautiful, even in your sadness.
"by doing this," he leans down, kissing you deeply. you immediately respond, reveling in the sweet, familiar taste of the raspberry-flavored chapstick smeared across his lips. you don't taste it for long as his lips move to your neck, hands slithering down your body to yank at the sleep shorts sitting on your hips. once they're down, he leans back, throwing your legs over his shoulders as his lips press onto your groin through your underwear. you gasp at the feeling, warmth pooling in your gut. he smirks, hands gripping the soft flesh of your thighs.
"and what exactly is this?" you're breathless as this point, face warm and legs borderline trembling as his face sits so close to your crotch.
"the physical act of love," his eyebrows wiggle seductively, and neither of you can keep your laughs in. even when he presses another kiss to your clothed area, you'll both always find humor in the love you share together. and gojo had missed seeing you laugh with his head between your legs. he was planning on imprinting the entire night into his brain after it was over.
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pretoriafics · 4 years
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Therapy sessions with the devil
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I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!
Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.
Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui  PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST
Your profession was gratifying.
You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.
However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.
And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!
Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.
It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.
All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.
You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.
But Homelander was the worst of them.
The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.
Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.
In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.
"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.
"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.
"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"
“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”
"What happened?"
It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.
"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."
"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"
"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"
Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...
"And what happened next?"
“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."
Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.
"And how do you feel about Maeve?"
“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”
A sociopath.
Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.
A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?
The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.
That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.
And you would end that today.
You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.
Alright. You were free.
Or at least this was what you thought.
 * * *
Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.
"I miss you in the tower."
Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.
So he would kill you there? In your office?
Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.
“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"
"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."
You narrowed your eyes.
"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."
“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."
“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”
“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”
How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?
You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.
“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."
He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.
"Of course!"
"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”
“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."
"Good night, Homelander."
He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?
All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.
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21. Hizashi Yamada and Shouta Aizawa
          Theme: Fox spirits/gods
          Kinks: Threesome, double penetration, biting, marking, praise kink, oral      (receiving), breeding kink (if you squint), polyamory/polyandry
Sorry this is a little late. My brain was like, I know I said I was going to make these short one-shots but how about we make them bigger? 
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(The gif has nothing to do with the story, obvi)
Masterlist
You climbed up the many steps leading to the shrine. This was your last resort. The humiliation induced by your vicious ex-boyfriend still left gashes in your heart. Your curse was that you fall in love too quickly and are blind to all faults until it's too late. Your most recent misadventure in love had been so cunning, so cruel that you wasted three years of your life with a man who was, in the words of your best friends, a massive cunt. Manipulative, emotionally abusive, but the cherry on top was the rumor he spread about you having an S.T.D. you'd gotten while cheating on him. Mind you, he was the one with the sexually transmitted disease. You were spared because you hadn't slept with him in recent months. The sting was a deadly blow to your self-confidence and trust in men.
After months of battling depression and anxiety, your aunt suggested a remote village trip and visit this exact shrine. Upon arrival, you were acutely aware of all the women either paired off or visibly pregnant. You noticed this at arrival. It was small at first—a lot of couples paired off, two by two like swans. Then, when you approached the marketplace and asked for directions, you noticed how the shopkeeper was pregnant, along with her sister and sister-in-law. There weren't many single men or single women as far as you could tell. Even a male couple looked happy.
You wanted to burn this town to ashes.
It was insulting, really. You came all this way just to have happiness and love shoved in your face while you, the miserable wretch, were forced to pine. You tried not to scowl as happy couples passed you by. Keeping your eyes focused ahead of you was all you could do to avoid knocking the smiles off their faces. Now, here you were, mounting the steps to a shrine shrouded by pines and red maples. Leaves rustled on the steps, which drew your attention. Fallen leaves littered the stairs and the shrine's sacred grounds, but that seemed awfully unauspicious. Was there no groundskeeper, no shrine maiden, no priest to clear them away? As you reached half-way up the hill, you noticed the smell in the air. Not a bad smell, but it was pervasive all around. The scent invaded your senses. It smelled a lot like jasmine and patchouli. You didn't think much of it and thought it was just someone burning incense at the shrine.
Two masculine figures lounged in the garden. One looked indifferent while the other moped. The latter was blonde; it matched the protruding fox ears on his head and the fluffy, swishing tail patting his thigh. He rested his head on the lap of the former, who appeared much like him except his hair, ears, and tail were black as ink. This one wore an indifferent expression. He looked out into the garden as he made a mental list of all the things he had to do around the shrine. Weeds had encroached where they weren't wanted during the summer and now choked the garden. Fall arrived early this year and made the trees shed their leaves too soon. The steps, as well as the grounds and roof, were covered in maple leaves. The inside needed moping, shining, dusting, and replacing oil lamps. There was still the matter of the hole in the sanctuary's ceiling that needed mending. But was there any human around to do it? No. The last priest died over fifty years ago. Shouta, the black fox, and Hizashi, the blonde fox, had been left alone to answer the whims of pilgrims.
It was almost thankless work. Ensuring happy marriages, love matches, and fertility was hard work when one was forced to clean their own shrine. As long as they were tied to this spot, Hizashi and Shouta had no other choice. The only thing more embarrassing than a shrine-god having to clean up his own shrine was a homeless one.
"I'm starting to miss the old man," said Hizashi. "He was so much fun to drink with. At least he had a sense of humor. Unlike the other fuddy-duddies, they tried to send us."
A few months after the last priest's death, his congregation tried to settle another to take his place. The successor was stern and took his job too seriously for Hizashi's liking. 'He's too dull,' Hizashi used to complain. Shouta wasn't much of a fan either, but it was more due to Hizashi's constant sighs and complaints that drove him to chase the priest away. Shouta ensured that no other settled down for too long. As far as the pair was concerned, the priest who died fifty years ago was their last worthy priest.
"It's so boring and lonely up here. There's no one to play with," Hizashi complained.
Shouta rolled his eyes. Hizashi was in one of his moods again. Boredom took a toll more on him than his 'co-worker' and sometimes lover. It was easy to get bored of making love for fifty-odd years while still working a thankless job. Only occasionally did some old lady or grateful newlywed came to offer incense and drop a donation. Whenever there was money, even a scrap, either Shouta or Hizashi would venture down the hill to mingle with the humans for a little bit. Men or women often flirted with them, but they couldn't decide on a partner they could both enjoy. Instead, everyone was declined.
"Maybe we could call up Nemuri and see what she's up to?" Hizashi suggested.
Shouta gave a flat answer. "No."
Hizashi pouted and went back to his pouting.
"You're no fun," said Hizashi.
"I know." Shouta petted Hizashi's ears to placate him.
Suddenly, a shudder rippled through both of them. They looked at one another. A smile quickly spread across Hizashi's face.
"We have a visitor!" He jumped up at once and dusted himself off.
"We have visitors all the time," said Shouta, but this was a lie. Visitors became fewer after the summer once pilgrims got their desire.
"But did you feel that, Shouta? A poor, miserable, broken-hearted young woman just crossed the path of our statues, and she's heading this way. Don't you feel it? Oh, the poor dear?"
The shrine-gods knew the hearts of all those who entered. It was their specialty to work in all the matters of the heart and the bedroom. Sniffing out broken hearts was a talent they both shared, but Hizashi was the more sensitive one. A fractured heart held an aura that most humans couldn't detect by sensing it alone. Sometimes it was a trifling matter. This time, however, Hizashi felt far more significant pain. Betrayal called out to him like a widow. He hadn't even seen the woman's face but could smell her despair, hate, and ache from miles away. She needed help.
Shouta felt it too. He pitied the human and wondered what brought her to that state. His curiosity was peaked, which didn't happen very often, if at all. Her presence was a sad one, and it threatened to taint the whole shrine with her negativity. Negativity drew hungry ghosts and pesky imps like moths to a flame. All of that meant more work for him. Aside from wanting to protect what little dignity his shrine had left, it was his duty to help this miserable wretch.
"Can we introduce ourselves, Shouta?" Hizashi's bright green eyes twinkled with mischief, hope, and something else Shouta could not easily define.
Shouta weighed the pros and cons in his head. By the time he came to a decision, he could hear the woman walking into the courtyard. Her voice was carried on the autumn wind. She was curious too, likely wondering why a shrine was seemingly left abandoned and in disarray. It would be rude to let her go forlorn after a trek up the hill.
You passed under the second torii gates and a second pair of fox statues. There were no lion-dogs as you saw in most other shrines, but this one had a strong love for foxes apparently. You looked at the water in the pavilion used for ceremonial purification. You cringed at the slightly brackish water and used very little to purify your hands. As soon as you got to the nearest restroom, you were going to scrub your hands raw. Walking down the narrow path leading to the inner sanctuary, you kept noticing very odd things. The shrine was in massive disrepair with cracks, debris, and brackish water. It wasn't a complete eyesore, but something did not feel right. There was not a soul you could find; loneliness pervaded every inch of the place. You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself as you walked on. You found the spot where wishers and pilgrims wrote their prayers on wooden plaques to hang them up. While there were plenty of rustling in the wind, they weren't very many. You scrawled your desire for a loving partner, happiness, and to forget the man who wounded you so deeply.
You hung the plaque alongside the three dozen blowing in the wind. You went further ahead to pay your respect at the small public shrines built on the side of the shrine's complex. There were only two buildings. One foot across, seven feet long, and six feet tall, they were impressively big for small shrines. These were the only buildings uncovered by leaves and pines branches. You marveled briefly at their pristine appearance. In your bag, you brought along the incense your aunt prescribed. You retrieved two sticks of carnation incense and dipped the stick end in the bowl of sand. You lit the incense, clapped your hands twice, and said a prayer. You did this twice at both shrines.
You turned your back to face going all the way down the hill again when you spotted something at the corner of your eye. At first, it seemed like your mind was playing tricks on you. Out of the corner, you thought you saw a ball of glowing blue light flicker in the window of the main shrine. The main shrine was off to limits to everyone but the priests and shrine maidens. This was where the kami, the god, was housed and worshipped by the clergy. You turned to see if what you saw had really been there. Another flash of blue flickered in the window and then another. You swallowed hard, but curiosity pinched at you. You wanted to know. With a quick glance around, you wandered over to the main shrine.
You cut over the grass and walked into the oratory. There were no voices or footsteps other than your own. You called out to anyone who would be listening, yet no one answer was given. Your voice carried down the halls. However, just because no one answered, it didn't exclude the idea altogether that no one listened. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end as you drew closer to what you assumed was the forbidden connecting hall that led into the inner sanctuary, which was supposed to be off-limits to the public. As far as you could tell, no one was around to stop you or tell you no.
You took a deep breath and crossed the threshold. Your heart pounded inside your chest. The halls were so dark you had to grope around just to find a wall. You tried to turn around and head out only to get yourself more lost. It was as if you were stuck in a maze. Every direction looked the same, and turning around seemed to make matters worse.
In desperation, you called out, "Hello?"
Still no answer. You trekked further in the hopes of running into someone, anyone, and get them to show you the way out. You hoped that they had a flashlight on hand. You would barely make out your hand in front of your face if you held it up.
Another flash of blue had you whirling on your face. You whipped your head in that direction. Shivers ran down your spine as you felt a pair of eyes bore a hole into the back of your head. It didn't feel like something glaring at you, but the sensation frightened you nevertheless. You took off in the direction of the blue flash. Yet another appeared up ahead, further along than the previous. You started running after it. More appeared, and each grew more distinct in shape and color than the last. You managed to get close enough to hear the hiss and flicker of its fire. You stared at a ball of blue flames with its tongue licking the air. It disappeared into nothingness and reappear off in a different direction.
You found it hovering in front of a set of shoji doors. It disappeared once more. Lights flickered behind the rice paper. You pried your fingers against the seams and pushed the door open. Lamps lined the walls. They burned with pale blue and white flames behind their screens. You approached with caution and gripped your bag straps tight.
Wooden floors creaked beneath your feet. You mentally cursed yourself for dragging your shoes inside the holy place, but the longer you glanced around the room, the more it seemed that this was not an ordinary shrine. The room had a lower portion accessible by three steps, and a red mat covered much of the space. A shrine rested on the floor on the other side. In each of the four corners was a vase that held carnation flowers. Somehow, all the flowers were in perfect condition and thrived in the forgotten space. You stepped carefully towards the shrine when you felt something behind you.
You looked over your shoulder. Not something, but someone and just a someone but someones. It wasn't the fact that you finally met another person at the shrine or that they were men that gave you alarm. It was the ears sticking out on top of their heads, the tails swishing back and forth behind them, and the regal manner in which they bore themselves. The one in a black yukata folded his arms across his chest and looked quite serious, probably because you were trespassing. The other man wore a red yukata, but he appeared far more friendly than his companion. He smiled broadly at you as if you hadn't just broken one of the most sacred, unspoken rules about behavior at a shrine. You swallowed hard and bowed from the waist.
"I am so sorry for intruding, sirs. I-I didn't mean to intrude…I got lost and couldn't find my way out. I'll leave immediately if you just show me the way. I promise I'll never come back and disturb another shrine so long as I live!"
"Easy there, little sparrow. No need to get riled up," said the friendlier one.
Slowly, you raised yourself up. You looked at them again, still bewildered by their ears and tail. They were either the strangest priests you were likely to ever come across, or they were—
"What business do you have here?" Asked the more somber fellow.
"I-I" You choked on your words. "I had a boyfriend who did rotten things to me. I was hoping to, to, um, to…" Your voice trailed off.
You were too distracted by the fox ears on their heads. They looked too real to be fake, but how was that possible?
The blonde one snapped his fingers.
"My eyes are down here, love," he chuckled.
Your cheeks darkened with embarrassment. "Please, if you could just tell me how to get out of here, I'll leave you alone."
Your first instinct would be to bolt for the door. When you glanced behind them, the doors had been shut when you remember having left them open. Were these demons standing in front of you? Is that why the shrine seemed so empty?
"Leaving so soon? But you haven't even heard our proposal yet?" Said the blonde.
Your brows furrowed. "P-Proposal?"
The black-haired fox-eared man slipped something out of his yukata sleeve. It was your wood plaque you left hanging outside. His ebony eyes gleaned over your wish and read it aloud.
"I don't know who will answer this, but I want to find true love, a life partner who will never stick a knife in me and twist. A man, or frankly anyone who will love and care for me. Please bring me happiness and make me forget about the man who abused me for three years. Is this your wish, Y/N?"
Your face drained of color. "How do you know my name?"
"We have our methods. I'm Hizashi. The dour one is Shouta. It's lovely to meet you."
"W-what are you?" You ventured to ask.
"We're the shrine gods. It's been lonely up here for a while now. The priests haven't been to our liking for the last fifty years, so we're forced to take care of the place ourselves, which is rather insulting if you think about it," said Hizashi.
"And…what are you the gods of?"
"Love, fertility, happy marriages, love-matches, all that fun stuff," answered Hizashi.
"Are you the reason why every other woman I met in town is pregnant?"
Hizashi answered, "Of course. We've been blessing this region with successful pregnancies for centuries. There hasn't been but a handful of miscarriages in all these years thanks to us."
"We're not the cause of the pregnancies if that's what that face is for, Y/N. We just ensure that the infant comes to term and reduce sterility in men and women," said Shouta, who had apparently been studying your face very closely.
Your blush darkened.
"Otherwise, this town would be full of half-fox spirits roaming around, wouldn't it?" Hizashi laughed.
"Okay…" You thought for a moment about what you were going to say next. This was all too surreal, but this was better than feeling miserable. "But what do you want from me?"
Hizashi and Shouta exchanged looks. A soft smile crept upon Shouta's face.
"We'll grant you your wish. On a few conditions," Shouta began. "As you can tell, our shrine is in dire need of—what do you humans call it nowadays? T.L.C.?"
"Tender love and care?" You said.
"Yes. That. Our shrine has been in disrepair for some time, but as much as the villagers enjoy making offerings, they aren't too keen on cleaning it. As you can imagine, it's rather embarrassing cleaning up your own shrine," Shouta continued.
"So, what you're saying is that you'll get me a decent boyfriend if I clean your house?"
"We can do better than, little sparrow," said Hizashi.
You felt his eyes wander your body. You couldn't help but shiver. Out of fear or anticipation, you couldn't tell at this point. You might have been hallucinating for all you knew.
"How would you like to be the wife of a god?" Hizashi laughed again. "Or two?"
"W-Wife? I just wanted a boyfriend who loved me. I don't remember asking for polyandry. Besides, why would you tie yourselves to someone human and mortal."
"We can cross that bridge when we come to it," said Hizashi.
"What do you say? Help us repair the shrine, and you'll have something better than a boyfriend. It sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?" Asked Shouta.
"Yeah," you said incredulously. "A little too good to be true. What's the catch?"
"You would have to live here and 'maintain' the shrine's cleanliness and reputation. We could get someone to teach you to perform the kagura dance. Learn a few things that would make you useful around the shrine and to the villagers. A shrine maiden, for all intents and purposes."
That did even things out. You weren't tied to your apartment, especially since it still had the ghosts of your past boyfriends lingering in there. You didn't go to college, and you hated your job. Becoming basically a shrine maiden and marry a pair of fox-gods seemed like a step-up from your hum-drum life.
"Hypothetically, if I agreed to all that, how would we go about making it official? Are we to have a big wedding? Does Ōkuninushi* have to be involved? Is there supposed to be a ceremony we have to follow?" The questions tumbled out of your mouth one by one in your unusual state of mind.
"So many questions. To answer all of them in one go, here it is. All you have to do is enjoy yourself," said Hizashi.
Before you could ask what he meant, Hizashi closed the gap between you. His mouth was suddenly on yours, and his hands settled on your backpack's straps. Your load was unburdened by your shoulders. Hizashi's hands ran through your hair, holding your head hostage. You heard Shouta's footsteps come along beside you. He worked your shoes off your feet and your socks as well. When he arose, Shouta's hands found your waist. He snatched your head away from Hizashi to kiss you himself. From there on out, it was a frenzy of hands, mouths, and tongues teasing you.
The first thing to go was clothes. Hizashi and Shouta worked together to get rid of the annoying layers that kept them from feeling up more of your skin. Your autumn outfit suited the chilly weather outside but was ill-fitted for their current needs. Their hands peeled off each layer of clothing until you wore nothing but your bra and panties. Somewhere between removing each item of clothing, one of them summoned an extra-large tatami mat out of thin air. You landed softly on the sleeping mat, cradled between them. Their kimonos were disposed of in the same manner as your modern clothes, with one exception. They were both utterly naked underneath their yukatas. Your blush spread down to the top of your chest at the mere sight of their hardening members.
"You look so pretty blushing like that, Y/N," said Hizashi.
He took his place between your legs. Hizashi playfully snapped the hem of your panties. He seemed to enjoy your small yelp as the elastic snapped against your skin. Shouta sat on his knees and pulled your back flush against his chest. He unclipped your bra and tossed it aside. Hizashi pulled at your underwear until the fabric tore. You opened your mouth in protest, but all the words stopped in your throat to make room for the moan. Shouta palmed your breasts and tweaked your nipples into stiff peaks. Your ruined panties were forgotten as soon as Hizashi settled one of your legs over his shoulder, and he ran his long tongue along your slit.
"It's been a while since we've laid with a woman. You'll have to forgive us if we're a bit rusty," said Hizashi.
Hizashi ran his tongue along your slit again and hummed at your taste. His tongue dove between your folds and pinched your clit. Meanwhile, Shouta kept at his administrations to your chest and kissing your shoulders. You arched your back when you felt the tiniest pinprick of sharp teeth graze your skin. Shouta smirked at you and gave you a nice look at the fangs he had. Hizashi had the same situation going on. You could feel his teeth carefully caress your sensitive bits.
"Do you like my teeth, Y/N?" Asked Shouta.
You bit your lower lip and nodded.
"Then you're really going to like this." Shouta lowered his head to the spot where your neck met your shoulders.
He bit down, but not hard enough to draw blood. His hands continued to tease you while his mouth and teeth left dozens of love bites all over your neck. Hizashi pulled his head up from between your legs. He watched for a moment how your face twisted in ecstasy as Shouta marked your lovely skin. It didn't take long for the idea to get in his head that he should do the same. Hizashi brought his teeth against your inner thigh and nipped. He repeated the process over and over until both of your legs bore his teeth marks and hickies. You squirmed for them. Heat traveled in two directions, to your head and your lower belly. Hizashi resumed his task of fucking you with his tongue and added two fingers to help him in this endeavor. Soft squelches from you gushing over him was enough to make you never want to leave.
"You're so pliable, and your breasts are breathtaking," Shouta sighed next to your skin. "Are you about to cum, Y/N?"
You bucked your hips to the rhythm of Hizashi eating you out. Slowly, you nodded. Your fingers clutched Hizashi's head, mindful of his ears.
"Then," Shouta whispered the next part in your ear. "Cum."
Hizashi worked faster, pumping and licking your cunt. You grabbed for Shouta as pleasure ripped down your spine. Hizashi and Shouta shoved you face-first down the precipice. Your walls clenched tight around Hizashi's fingers and tongue while your jaws hung open. No one else could make you moan as loud as you did. And likely, nobody else ever will.
When Hizashi came up for air, his mouth and chin were drenched your essence. He leaned up, but instead of kissing you, he planted his lips on Shouta's. In turn, Shouta licked Hizashi's mouth to get a taste of you for himself while he was at. Shouta reached down and played with your clit while making-out with Hizashi briefly. You felt their members stand proudly against your body, and your inner walls clenched at the thought of one or both filling you to the brim.
Shouta and Hizashi kissed one more time. Hizashi peeled you off of Shouta just long enough for the latter to stretch out on his back. You were turned around. Shouta gestured with a 'come-hither' crook of his finger, and you crawled towards him. His hands grabbed your hips, made you straddle him, and pressed the blunt head of his cock against your slippery, wet cunt.
"Are you ready?" He asked. It was child's play holding you up like that with his cock more than ready to impale you.
You nodded your head. Shouta slowly, carefully pulled you down on his cock. It stretched you open again. You sank down on him until you were fully seated. You tried not to let your eyes roll into the back of your head. Shouta then grabbed your shoulders and pulled you down. Hizashi was right behind you, fisting his cock. He wasn't as big, but he was just as long. Hizashi placed his other hand on the small of your back. You felt his cock probe the area where Shouta was already preoccupied. Something clicked in your head. Shouta grabbed and clutched your hands. Beads of sweat ran down the side of your face while Hizashi brushed his cuck against your cunt.
"Look at me," said Shouta. "Look at me. You're going to be fine. We'll make you feel so good."
"So very good," Hizashi cooed.
You tightened your grip on Shouta's hands. You stared at his face as Hizashi pushed forward, stuffing you close to the point of damage. You were well-lubed up to take both of them, but in practice, this was your first time having two men fill you at the same time. Inch by careful inch, Hizashi pushed into your cunt. When he was fully seated, he let out a long sigh.
"I can feel both of you against, and it feels so good." Hizashi shuddered.
"Can you move?" Shouta asked Hizashi.
"Give me a minute."
You were given a few minutes reprieve, and in that time, you felt your lower belly swell. You felt them stretch you to impossible measures. Though tears stained your cheeks, you never felt more pleasure. The mixture of both pleasure and pain blurred the lines. It wasn't long before you were being pushed and pulled in either direction, their cocks fucking you deep.
Wet skin slapped against skin. The men you were sandwiched between grunted and moaned your praises at your ability to take them both so deep. There weren't any words you could say with any cohesion. Words became meaningless when being fucked into oblivion. Hizashi and Shouta worked in tandem. When one pulled out, the other plowed right in. Both cocks kissed your cervix as they drove themselves, and each other, wildly into your cunt. You felt fluids rush between your legs that mingled with your sweat. You squeezed Shouta's hands and buried your face in his chest.
Higher, higher, and higher still, you were flying. You bit Shouta's chest as their cocks thrust in and out. Your brain turned into mush at this point. All you cared about was getting fucked on their cocks forever. Little else mattered beyond that.
"I'm close," said Shouta.
"M-Me too," said Hizashi.
"Then let's finish it."
Without another word, they started to drive faster than before, and you thought it was impossible. Shouta returned your bruising grip and rammed upwards to meet Hizashi's downward thrust. They both moved quickly and headed towards coming undone inside you. You felt it too. Your walls spasmed and fluttered around both their cocks, though the stretch made it hard to tell. They shifted into an erratic pace rather than a smooth move. Their cocks drove harder into your cunt. Animalistic grunts filled the room as both Shouta and Hizashi slammed home. You screamed your climax just at the same time they did. You kept screaming while ropes of cum warmed your belly. You were moaning into Shouta's chest as you felt buckets of their seed filled your womb. There was nothing for you to wonder about why they were the gods of fertility and pregnancy.
Hizashi pulled all the out first. He massaged your shoulders while Shouta lifted your hips off him. Hizashi's long fingers dabbed some of the cum dripping down your thighs and pushed it back inside your weeping pussy.
"You gotta keep it in, ya, little sparrow. You want to be a good wife to your husbands, don't you?" Hizashi cooed.
*Ōkuninushi- mentioned in both the Kojiki and Nihon Shoki as the god of nation-building, agriculture, business, medicine, love, marriage, and fortune
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silhouetteofacedar · 3 years
Text
Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch. 5: Dana's Work Friend
Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E
Friday, April 3rd, 1998. Scully comes into the office in a flurry of coat and red hair. She doesn’t greet him, just drops her briefcase on the desk and sinks into her seat across from him.
“Mulder, I have a favor to ask of you, and you’re probably going to hate it, so just bear in mind that I have exhausted all my other options,” she says, somewhat breathless.
“You’re really selling it,” he deadpans. “What is it?” he asks, settling into his chair and leaning his elbows on the desk.
“You remember Mark,” she prompts, and he nods. Ugh. If only he could forget.
“Well, it turns out that Mark is extremely - almost agonizingly - social, despite having a demanding job and a young child to raise.”
“Sounds awful,” Mulder comments.
“Hence my current predicament. He’s invited me and my friends out for drinks tonight, so his friends can meet me and I can meet his and he can meet mine… “ she rambles before refocusing herself. “He’s not aware that I’ve lost contact with most of my friends. You’re kind of the only one left.”
Mulder had suspected as much, but confirmation of her increasing social isolation is like a punch in the throat. “Are you sure there’s no one else?” he asks softly, not wanting to rub salt into any wounds.
She shakes her head, lips pressed together. “Unless the Lone Gunmen count as my friends,” she replies. “Which in this case is somehow worse than having none at all,” she muses, some humor in her voice.
“Good point,” he chuckles. “Sure, count me in.”
“Thank you,” she says sincerely, and he melts all over again. He’d do anything for her. Even if it means meeting Mark. Ugh.
“It’s worth mentioning,” Mulder says after a moment, “If you don’t want to go, you can always just not go.”
“Shockingly, I have thought of that,” she says dryly, opening her briefcase and pulling out a folder. “But I think it would be good for me to meet people and hold conversations that aren’t related to criminal or paranormal activity. Might be good for you, too,” she adds, glancing up at him.
He pulls a stack of files out of his inbox on the desk. “I’ll stick to ‘ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night’,” he says.
“‘Good Lord, deliver us',” Scully replies, finishing the old prayer.
Mulder looks up at her and finds her smiling at him, and his whole body flushes with heat and adoration.
“Let’s elope,” he says, and she rolls her eyes fondly before burying her nose in her work.
I’m not kidding, he yells inside the prison of his own thick skull.
After work he and Scully drive straight to the bar together, a yuppie place in Foggy Bottom near George Washington University Hospital.
“Have you ever been through their ER?” Scully asks, scanning the street for parking. “I imagine you’ve been through enough hospitals to warrant a map on the wall with little pins stuck in it.”
“I can’t possibly remember them all at this point,” he says absently, tugging at his seatbelt uncomfortably. Why is he nervous? He’s just here to show Scully’s man friend that she’s not entirely a basement-dwelling hermit.
And Mulder’s the best she could do? God, maybe she really does need to get out more.
She parks, and he feeds the meter while she touches up her lipstick in the rearview mirror. She looks sweet and and rosy, flushed with nerves and traffic, and he could so easily scoop her up and kiss her-
“Alright,” she says, climbing out of the car and closing the driver’s side door a little harder than necessary. She smooths her hair down. “I’m ready for battle.”
“I’m prepared to fall on my sword,” he assures her, guiding her onto the sidewalk with a hand on her lower back before realizing he probably shouldn’t touch her so familiarly when her… friend might see.
“It’ll be fine,” she says over her shoulder as she grasps the bar door’s handle. “Just behave,” she hisses, and they enter.
The onslaught is immediate.
“Dana!” a voice calls out through the bustling bar, and Mulder sees a man waving them over. He’s got neatly styled dishwater blond hair, broad shoulders, and dimples at the corners of his mouth as he smiles at them. Not bad, Mulder thinks, unsure of how to feel about this new information.
He barely has time to process it before they’re enveloped in a tight swarm of strangers. The blond man, presumably Mark, loops an arm around Scully’s shoulders and gives her a side-hug.
“So glad you could make it, Dana,” he says, and proceeds to go around the circle of people and rattle off names Mulder has no reason to remember. Instead, he watches Scully, the way she greets each person as they’re introduced. She’s cool and calm, smiling politely, shaking hands and saying ‘nice to meet you’ to each of the five - no, six - people in the group.
“I’ll grab you two some drinks,” Mark says, glancing at Mulder. “What’s your poison?”
“Shiner,” Mulder says.
“Same for me,” Scully says. “I’m going to freshen up-”
“Sure,” Mark says, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “Two Shiner Bocks coming up.”
That’s how Mulder and this exuberant, Golden Retriever of a man end up sitting at the bar together, nursing sweaty beers and waiting for Scully to return from the bathroom.
“So you’re a work friend of Dana’s?” Mark asks over the noise of the bar.
Mulder was about to set his drink down, but he reconsiders and takes another swig. “In a manner of speaking,” he replies.
Dr. Mark Whatever-the-fuck seems confused. “I don’t follow,” he says.
“I’m her partner,” Mulder says flatly. Since 1993. I’ve seen her naked, cradled her injured body my arms, saved her goddamn life. Have you?
“Oh!” Mark says, clearly making mental connections. “Oh. Sorry, I just- it’s nice to meet you… Fox?”
“Just Mulder’s fine,” he corrects him.
Mark laughs. “Sorry for the confusion on my end; I think Dana only said your name once and I went and assumed Fox Mulder was a woman. And you know what they say about assuming,” he adds with a nudge.
Once. Only once? Maybe that shouldn’t surprise him, but it does. Whenever he meets someone new in Scully’s life they always throw out the usual ‘I’ve heard a lot about you’ line, so he knows she talks about him to others. But not to this guy. Why not to this guy?
Mercifully, Scully returns from the restroom. Mark hands her her beer. “Thanks,” she says softly, giving him a small smile with her lips closed tightly, which strikes Mulder as odd. He knows she’s somewhat self-conscious about smiling with her teeth, but something he sees in her face doesn’t feel quite right.
Of course it doesn’t feel right to you, he thinks. She’s smiling at some other guy.
They’re swept along in a current of conversation, scrambled introductions, and drink orders. He’s introduced to a handful of people he’ll selectively erase from his eidetic memory, standing across from Scully in their little circle instead of by her side. He doesn’t like it. Another man has his hand on her back, although respectfully keeping it between her shoulder blades. Any lower and Mulder would have to excuse himself to have a panic attack in the alley behind the bar. Or throw up.
He’s glad Mark’s friends aren’t particularly interested in making conversation with him; he’s tired and ready to go home. Luckily, the Doctor himself calls the night early, at half-past eight.
“I promised the little one I’d be home to tuck her in,” he explains, and Mulder’s stomach turns from the purity and sweetness of it. “She gets to stay up a little later on Fridays.” He gives Scully another half of a hug and says his goodbyes.
The group disperses pretty quickly after Mark leaves, and Mulder and Scully are left alone outside the bar.
“So, you met Mark,” Scully says simply.
“I did, yeah.” He can sense that she wants him to say something more. “He seems... nice,” Mulder adds.
Scully nods. “Yeah, he’s nice.”
Mulder’s beginning to think ‘nice’ is the only word anyone’s capable of using to describe this guy.
“I’ll bet Bill’s gonna love him,” he comments, hoping he doesn’t sound as bitter as he feels.
Scully shakes her head, smiling. “I knew there had to be a flaw in him somewhere,” she jokes.
Mulder surprises himself with a huffed laugh. This moment with her is strangely precious, despite the circumstances. He doesn’t know how many moments like this he has left, if he’s being honest.
“I’m happy for you,” he says tenderly, and maybe if he says it enough it’ll be true. She deserves this, he reminds himself. It’s become almost a mantra, a lead weight that keeps him from drifting away.
“Are you?” she asks, catching him off guard. “I caught you staring holes into him more than once.”
“I wasn’t,” Mulder says defensively. “This is just my face.”
She gives him a look that clearly says ‘I call bullshit’, and he folds. “He didn’t know who I was,” he says, and it sounds monumentally stupid out loud. “He though Fox Mulder was a woman.”
“I-I don’t know why he would have thought that,” Scully says, pensive. “I never implied-”
“Fox is an unusual name,” Mulder interrupts. “It’s an honest mistake if you just hear it without any context.”
Scully looks down at her feet. “I’m sorry about that,” she says softly. “About all of this. I owe you one.”
Mulder reaches out and squeezes her shoulder, and it seems to have a grounding effect on both of them. “I’ll put it on your tab,” he says.
“Do you want me to drive you back to work?” she asks. They’d left his car in the garage at the Hoover building.
Mulder shakes his head. “You’re almost home,” he says. “I’ll get a cab.”
He ends up walking instead.
The night air cleanses his senses as he makes the half-hour trek back to the Bureau. Their time in the bar had felt sluggish and hazy, despite the fact that he only had a beer and a half. He spend the entire evening focused on Scully, the only sharp image amidst the blur of patrons.
Mark hadn’t kissed Scully goodbye, and Mulder’s relief at not having to witness it was overshadowed by a morbid curiosity. She and Mark had been dating for three weeks; he’s not sure how often they’ve actually gone out, due to the doctor’s shift schedule, but he assumes they’ve seen each other a few times at mass in addition to whatever outings they’ve gone on in the evenings. That was ample time to get to know each other physically on some level, wasn’t it? A peck on the cheek at least.
Mulder’s biased; he’s touch-starved and in love with her. He spends most of his nights on his couch in the dark, touching himself and thinking about Scully. Kissing her, taking her clothes off, tasting her; his mental catalogue of scenarios is robust and well-used. If given half the chance to love her…
Maybe that’s it, he thinks somberly, stepping over sidewalk cracks. Maybe chances are taken, not given.
That’s not how he wants to love her. He wants her to choose him all on her own, and yet he never let her know he was a choice. And now there’s Mark.
But Mark doesn’t kiss her.
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