#it’s so big how did I get it and a lightning cable confused

[zenithneko]

in other news guess who just tried to charge her modern iphone with a 30-pin

bring back the fucking locking mechanism on your chargers you COWARDS

#zenith #phone stuff #it’s so big how did I get it and a lightning cable confused

[buckybarnesdiaries]

longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car

© mine.

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Bucky is kidnapped by Hydra to reactivate the Winter Soldier.

word count: 2.924 words. it worth it, i promise!!!

warnings/tags: none. angst as hell mostly. but it has a happy ending.

author notes: i don't speak russian, but i haven't used google translate either, so no worries. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

join the tag list NEW!!! here.

No. It couldn't be possible. It had to be part of a terrible nightmare. Bucky couldn't have been kidnapped by Hydra again.

You didn't know what to expect in the ship flying to the secret location of the organization. For Stark, it didn't take more than a couple of minutes to track the arm down, since Shuri put a small monitor on it when the soldier stayed in Wakanda. She never told it, wanting to use it in some kind of circumstance like the one you all were going through now. And you couldn't be more grateful, but it didn't help to make you feel better.

You were sitting close to the back hatch. Back rested against the metallic wall and legs curled to your chest. Nothing inside your head more than the hallucination of a pair of blue eyes staring at you. Blaming yourself was something you couldn't avoid. You should have been with him, by his side, protecting him as many times you promised him. But in fact, you just failed him. You failed his trust, his love. You let them take him. Only God knew which torture Hydra was putting him under, while you were there, lamenting.

You didn't even notice Steve's presence squatting next to you until he placed a hand on your shoulder. Then, you raised your face towards him. He was suffering too. In the end, Bucky was his long-life friend, his big brother. He lost him once and felt like he was going to lose him twice. Although this time was different. You were carrying the dispositive that could put to sleep back the winter soldier, but, at what cost?

“Buck got you now. Everything is gonn—”. He spoke in plural, referring to your last night's talk.

“How could you be so calm, Steve? How do you do it?” You whispered through your trembling lips, about to break in crying.

“Because he needs us focused, not distracted”.

He was wise. Captain America was wiser than anyone in that ship. He curled the left corner of his lips up, trying to make you feel good, trying to transmit you the encouragement you needed to not give up. And he did, more or less. You had to fight harder than ever. For Bucky, and only for Bucky. That's why you didn't hesitate on jumping out from the ship when it landed on the cold hard ground, as the freezing weather hit you on the face.

Following the plan, you ran quietly to the back door hidden under a huge layer of snow. Shaking part of it with the palm of your hand, you placed the device with technology from Wakanda on the locker. Not later than fifteen seconds, it deciphered the code to open the hatch. Once in position, the Avengers followed you downstairs. The passage was empty and silent. The only sound that broke it was a couple of rats running away from your presence. You all had studied the plans of the building, mostly underground, remembering exactly where you had to go.

The coast was clear, that was the reason why you all were so confused. You were expecting to find more than a dozen of agents, but when T'Challa enunciated through your earwigs that he only located two heat spots, you couldn't believe it. How only one man kidnapped the most fearless assassin up to now? Tortuous and bitter screams dragged you back to reality, causing your brain to react to make your legs run faster than ever in your whole damn life. You knew by heart that voice beneath all the pain.

Your skin bristled when your gaze landed on that chair of horrors, connected to an enormous power source. Bucky was sitting there against his want.

“... добросердечный… возвращение на родину… один…”

“STOP IT”. Steve yelled.

Huge mistake. You were aware of it when —yes— that man stopped reciting the Russian words to re-activate the Winter Soldier, but only enough time to push a red button near to him and close the heavy door in front of you. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. At the moment you glimpsed Steve’s shield sliding above the floor, straight to the inside of the room where Bucky was being tortured, you followed the same way. Never in your life, you were this fast. Like a lightning bolt, you snaked yourself under the small distance between the door and the ground before being closed. Now, it was you, that man and the soldier.

“You’re late…” He mocked with an awful American accent, under James crying out loud in pain. “грузовой ваг—”.

Your left hand moved quickly to unholster your gun and shoot him. One… Two… Three… Four bullets right to his head. The man fell dead before he couldn’t complete the command. You didn’t lose time, running to the controls to try to turn that machine off. But it was impossible. Even if you knew Tony could do it, there wasn’t signal inside those large and wide walls made of steel reinforced. You were in one of those abandoned soviet bunkers, that could save you from Armageddon. You were inhaling and exhaling so fast that your lungs never got really full, trying to focus, trying to shut every single noise around up. Trying to think of a plan b. But it was your heart who pushed you to act and not your brain. Grabbing Steve’s shield, you aimed for the energy source before tossing it like a damn frisbee.

That thing blew up, turning off any kind of light and dispositive around, as the sparks and the cables decorated your surroundings. Just like the fire that started to burn down a pile of boxes with different documents of Hydra. But that wasn't why you were impatient. Catching the shield when it came back to you, your legs moved immediately to Bucky, still stirring on his seat for a few seconds else. Then, he simply stopped shaking. Her eyes were wide opened. Reddened, in tears. His chest rose and fell violently. His heart was racing. And you could see the trauma taking control over his body in holy silence.

You didn't doubt removing the protection from his mouth along the restraints keeping him on the chair. Your fingers trembled like never before, not having any more time to lose. Probably, the Avengers would be trying to open the door when the emergency red lights illuminated the bunker, producing a loud alarm sound to indicate that something was going wrong inside the facilities.

“C'mon, Buck… C'mon, we have to leave”. You told him, trying to help him to stand up.

But as soon as your hand was about to land on his arm of vibranium, the five cold digits got closed around your throat. Soon, the lack of air for you was more than evident. He got up on his own, not needing you to do it. The ocean blue in his eyes turned into a dark storm. There wasn't any gesture on his face, more than his jaw clenching, pressing his teeth together. That wasn't Bucky —your Bucky—, but the unstable trained assassin Hydra turned him in. You could barely gulp saliva, gripping his metallic wrist with both of your hands to try to stop him from murdering you.

He couldn't. He couldn't kill you. His strength was suffocating you with no mercy, though.

For a moment, you felt too weak to fight, seeing everything around you getting blurred and darker. Blacking out. But there was something inside you, a sweet tone of voice calling your name. A male voice. Your eyelids rolled down bit by bit, wanting to concentrate on that honeyed sound being closer and closer.

“любить”.

The sore whisper left your lips. Love. The first time Bucky told you about love came to your mind. He told you about his family. George, Winnifred, Rebecca. He told you how much he desired to have a family of his own. To be loved.

“новый”.

Your almost dead fingers traced the form of his new arm made in Wakanda when you felt him lifting you from the floor, being suspended on air.

“сороковых годов”.

Trying to keep a firm tone of voice as much as the pressure let you, the Russian words were spat to the confused soldier, who wasn't understanding what you were doing. The forties changed his life. He was sent to war and, lately, captured by HYDRA. It was something he'd never forget, part of his DNA.

“заката”.

You didn't know what the hell your subconscious was doing either till that precise instant. You were reprogramming him. You were using his own memories to reset his wiped brain from them. Dusk. The first night he spent in Wakanda, Bucky was terrified. But you stayed with him. You comforted him by saying that everything was going to be okay, that his life would be different. That he was safe. That he was at home.

“лето”.

His last night of summer in that kingdom, Bucky took you to his favorite place between the woods, wanting to show you the fireflies fluttering in the middle of the gloom. He used to walk there whenever he woke up from a nightmare. Those small insects used to make him feel better for some reason he didn't comprehend. Until he saw their light reflecting on your amazed orbs. Bucky knew then he was in love with you. Besides his long-life friend, the only person who never judged him, who never ran away from him. The same person that now was dying under his fingers.

“шесть”

Six years took him to be Bucky, after his last war, after the last effort, after the last jump. He was a new man. You made him a new man. A good one. You guided him through the right way. You helped him to get used to the twenty-one century. You accompanied him to therapy and stayed in the waiting room every single session until he finished.

“заткнуться”.

The soldier ordered you to shut up, earning quite the opposite when you knew it was sorting some kind of effect on him, as soon as you felt some relief by the grip loosening around your throat and your tiptoes touching the ground. Little by little, you opened your eyes again, gluing them on the blue ones fixed on you.

“боец”.

He wasn't a super soldier, he was a fighter. He spent the last six years of his life fighting for it, fighting for ruling his existence, fighting for being pardoned for crimes he didn't want to commit, fighting for your love. Bucky furrowed swallowing, allowing you to place your feet on the floor.

“Бруклин”.

And when he demonstrated to the world that he was no longer the Winter Soldier, but James Bucky Barnes, he moved to his birthplace. Brooklyn. You and he rented an apartment together when you both learned that you couldn't live apart. That you were made for each other.

“Отец…”

A tear ran down your cheek, slowly moving your left hand to his free one. A shiver toured his backbone when he felt your warm touch holding his hand and, even if his cold fingers were still around your throat, the soldier bowed his head to follow the connection between the two of you. His flesh hand landed on your stomach, pressing it under yours, trying to transmit to him the news about your pregnancy status. Bucky was going to be a father. You were going to build a family as he always wished.

“Свобода”.

As the sob escaped your soul, his hand made of vibranium released your neck. Freedom was what he got after all those years.

Bucky was free.

His hold was the only thing that kept you on your feet, pining to the cold hard ground, as well as you trying to fill your lungs with the heavy air around you because of the dense smoke coming from the flames burning down that damn place. You watched Bucky picking the shield close to you, probably believing it could be easier to kill you with it than with his own hands. Your arms automatically wrapped your abdomen, as if you could protect your unborn child from that horror, crying James' name to remember you.

“James… James…”

You weren't able to stop whining, feeling a heavy sorrow under your chest, covering your vitals organs. The noisy sound from the bunker was suddenly turned into a constant beep, beep, beep that caused you to frown yet keeping your eyes closed. You called him once and again until a warm hand laced his fingers with you. Peace invaded you eventually, after a fond squeeze around your skin followed by a pair of rough lips pressed on your forehead. You let yourself go, not finding any strength inside your heart to continue awake.

The next time you opened your eyes, you needed a moment to adjust your gaze to the sunlight. Purring feeling more comfortable than before, you rolled on your stomach, sinking your nose into the large pillow. Bucky's scent was like a punch of reality. Your eyes snapped open as your pulse increased, starting to panic. Sitting up, your orbs moved quickly all around the room you recognized instantly. It was your dorm in the Compound, the one you used to share with your boyfriend —and the father of your child. It was empty. No trace of James anywhere. You tossed away the oxygen mask and the sheets covering your stiff anatomy, getting up from the bed. Another huge mistake.

Everything spun around you, feeling strong dizziness hitting your head, having to sit down for a second. But as soon as you felt recovered, you stood up again walking straight to the main door to step out. The hallway was deserted, hearing some voices coming from the meeting room. You followed them slowly, finding balance with your palm against the walls. Sam was the first one noticing your presence, coming faster to help you.

“James… James…” You mumbled, not really sure about when you started to sob again, whilst your muscles got tense with every syllable.

“He's okay, he's okay, take it easy, girl”. He tried to calm you as Steve reached you to bring you to the closest chair.

“We don't know what you did… but even if that man introduced the commands again… you turned it off”. Natasha spoke this time.

“I re— I repro— reprogramed him”.

The confusion was more than evident between the Avengers present in the room. But no one of them had the need to ask how. The spy taught you Russian in your free time, you weren't a fluent speaker, but it was enough to have a chat. Even so, you weren't going to say the words you used. You weren't going to make Bucky go through another wipe. If they worked, you'd make sure that he'd hear them when the occasion required it.

“I wan— wanna see him… please”. You cried covering your face with both hands, desolated after the hell of the situation you had to live.

“He's resting”. Steve informed you, squatting close and placing a hand on your right thigh to gently caress it. “And you should do the same. For your baby”.

“There's no way you're gonna stop me from seeing him”. You replied, raising your head and looking at him through your eyelids. Silently pleading.

He snorted, convinced that you wouldn't change your mind. Nodding two times with his head, he stood up and offered you a hand to hold it and help you to walk. Steve guided you through upstairs, following your pace step by step —he could have carried you onto his arms, but he wasn't sure if he could hurt you accidentally. You were too weak, barely breathing properly because of all the smoke you swollen inside the bunker. Although you started to feel somewhat erratic and excited as you were coming to Bucky's old dorm.

Steve opened the door for you, letting you walk inside before closing it behind your back. Your boyfriend was peacefully sleeping under the sheets. There were some scars on his face, already healed but yet seeming painful. The only explanation you found to be there was that Bucky used the shield to open the door and take you out of the bunker. A theory that made more sense when you noticed that he hadn't his prosthesis and his shoulder was covered by a thin black microfiber.

You headed to the bed, tucking in to wrap his warm and heavy body between your arms. At the moment he felt you, he embraced you as better as he could, not opening his eyes but shedding a tear. His lips started to tremble as you pecked them, previous to hiding his face into your neck.

“I'm so sorry…” Bucky sobbed, causing your whole anatomy to shudder because of the sorrow in his voice.

“We're gonna be okay, my love… You, me, our baby… Our family”.

His crying increased after those two words, caressing his back slowly to comfort him somehow. You knew that this recovery would be hard and painful, being conscious of how close he had been to end with your life. He didn't want to do it, nobody could deny it. You were everything he had, everything he always wished for deep inside his soul and heart. And the acknowledgment of having a baby with you only provoked him to feel guiltier.

But as you said so, everything was going to be okay.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and REBLOG!!!

support the writers 🤍

tag list: @whatrambles @cleopatra12345 @phoenixhalliwell @homesicam @marvel-diaries @amelia-song-pond @heartbeats-wildly @met4no1a @weenersoldierr @petlaufeyson @sillygamingartghost @wildflowergubler @isnt-it-loverly @zealouspursecowboydeputy @rvgrsbrns @artisancowbells @plagooey @tinylumpiaa @hemsbucky @bxmaaa @quxxnxfhxll @soldierstucky @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul @hateinthemorning @asemistablehundredyearoldman @purpleelfwizard @twinerd14 @meg4n_hughe5 @nikkixostan @stolenxkissess @wintersfilm @whoreforsamwilson @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm @shinynewboots @baconmuffins1216 @28cnn @hxlyhoax

** the @ crossed out is because tumblr doesn't let me tag you, but you can activate notifications for when i post any writing!

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #the winter soldier x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine

[immabethehero]

Anti’s Halloween is Ruined

I made a Swap AU for Anti’s birthday! Yes I know I’m 21 days late but it will make sense soon. Here’s a quick overview of who swapped with who!

Jameson Jackson - Jackieboy Man Chase Brody - Marvin the Magnificent Antisepticeye - Dr. Schneeplestein

TWs: Scenes of torture with a knife, alcohol, bottle smashing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October is Dr. AntiSepticeye’s favourite month. The leaves are a pretty colour, candy and chocolate are half-off, and Halloween comes to top it all off with spooks and scares galore!

The self-proclaimed mad scientist worships Halloween. Since he had sadly been born 21 days before the wonderful God-tier holiday, he makes it his mission to celebrate Halloween all year long. And this year was supposed to be no different. This year, he has a special treat to celebrate Halloween. One that will knock everyone’s socks off.

At the top of the laboratory, connected to a thousand cables that meet up at the big weathervane attached at the top of the dome lies a body, ready to awaken. Around the silver operating table are gadgets and control panels. A large pole has been brought in and taped to the ground, on top of it is the weathervane, sticking out of the roof to attract the lightning. 

The human itself is male in appearance, but Anti won’t mind if it wishes to change its pronouns. He just hopes this human does not leave him, like all the other people in Anti's life.

Its facial features include black hair, a sinewy build, a pale complexion, and a small goatee. Underneath its closed eyelids are heterochromic eyes, one blue and one silver. Despite its small and skinny frame, this human is not a weakling. Anti has injected it with powers unfathomable. As of now, it can withstand any pain, can climb any building with ease, and its silver eye is… Just for the heck of it. The superhuman can match with Anti’s own heterochromia!

Anti intends to give it more powers, but for now, he’ll start with the basics. He can’t risk being caught. Not when he’s so close to finishing a project that actually works!

Tonight, there is a big thunderstorm. Anti intends to use this to his full advantage. He’s seen this work in the movie several times. It will work, it has to! If not, he’s going to cry.

The rain splatters down, the loud rattle threatening to collapse the observatory. Water is leaking into the lab through a large hole. How it got there is a mystery. Anti has taken care to move the long cords away from the leaks, placing buckets under the ceiling.

The lightning has come, but it doesn’t seem to be hitting the ground, much to the scientist’s display. He frowns and twists the pole, raising the weathervane. The weathervane rattles as it slowly rises into the howling wind, threatening to snap at any moment.

“Come on… please work! Please work!” Anti moans, but his voice is drowned out by the roars of thunder and torrential downpour.  

CRASH! A bright flash of lightning hits the weathervane, snapping it in half. The lights go out. Anti groans in dismay, hiding his face in his hands. It’s over. He can’t do it. All that work and he can’t even get the bloody thing to waken.

He can’t afford to do another evil invention. They all seem so dumb and boring compared to the supervillain. Looks like this Halloween will be spent crying on the couch while eating candy and chips.

Cough! Anti’s head snaps up. Did it work?! He turns around and gasps. The body on the table… It’s moving. Anti ducks behind the doorway, not daring to breathe. The supervillain on the table slowly sits up, shaking its head. It looks around curiously and opens its mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

Anti tilts his head in confusion. The human looks equally as confused. It clutches its throat and clears it a few times, then tries again. No sound emerges. Grumpily, the human pounds on the table, denting the steel. Anti jumps at the sound. He better get out there before the superhuman destroys everything else.

Anti emerges from his hiding place behind the door. Immediately, the superhuman throws itself off the table and hides behind it. Anti can’t blame it for coiling away from him. His dark green hair defies gravity, his right eye is an unusually bright shade of lime-green, and his ghost-white skin is marred with scars and gives off a greenish tint. The lab coat only exaggerates how lanky Anti’s build is. 

“Relax! I’m here to help you! My name is Anti, I’m your friend!” Anti blurts out. The superhuman scans Anti top to bottom, fearful expression turning into one confused. It nods slowly. 

Anti smiles, trying to look kind. The superhuman shies away from Anti’s glare as it begins to shiver. Anti realizes how cold the lab is. While he is perfectly used to it, the superhuman is not at the moment.

“Oh… uh, come downstairs with me and I’ll try to find you some clothes. Come on!” Anti coaxes.

Reluctantly, the human follows Anti down the twisting staircase. The lair below has machines and robots as elaborate as the ones upstairs. Each stands in their own square marked with construction tape to keep them safe from being destroyed again. To the unsuspecting outsider, it looks like a museum of evil machines. To Anti, they’re all inventions that he keeps forgetting to fix.

Anti takes the human to the far left wall of the lab, where living furniture has been awkwardly placed, as if Anti couldn’t be bothered to make a real living space and just put all his living arrangements in a corner of the room. Two platinum-screen televisions have been set up on the wall, underneath is a wide counter with three shelves and three drawers. Beside the TVs is a desk holding blueprints for new projects. On the edge is a kitchen with a sink, cupboards, and a fridge. On the opposite side of the wall is a bed and a wardrobe. The bathroom consists of a toilet, a sink and a shower rod with a drain underneath.

“I know it doesn’t look too fancy or anything, but it’s the best I can do,” Anti says. “The order for your bed hasn’t come in yet, so you’ll have to make do on the couch. Are you cool with that?”

The superhuman shrugs. Anti nods and walks over to the wardrobe, pulling out a hoodie, some boxers and some track pants. He throws them at the human, who gratefully puts them on. 

This place is really chilly, how can this man stand it? the superhuman wonders.

Anti sits down on the couch and motions the human to sit beside it. The human awkwardly sits down, shuffling away from the scientist.

“I bet you’re wondering what you’re here for,” Anti begins. “Well, let’s put it this way. I need a sidekick to help me with all my glorious, evil plans! You see, when I was young I was never chosen to participate in anything, always the last one picked. I had to do all the work on my own. But now that you’re here, we can team up and we will be unstoppable! I will train you to become the perfect supervillain!”

The superhuman nods slowly. In all honesty, it just wants something to eat. But how will it ever convey that?

Growl... nevermind!

Anti nods. “Ah, yes. Supervillains do need to eat.” He gets up and heads across to the kitchen. “So, supervillain… I haven’t quite decided on a name for you yet… Do you have any ideas?”

A few seconds of silence pass as Anti waits for a response. He frowns. “Nothing?” He receives a shake of the head.

“Oh. What about pronouns?”

The superhuman raises an eyebrow.

“You know… he and him, she and her, they and them…”

The superhuman shrugs.

“Well, we’ll search up pronouns later and you can decide then. For now let’s find something to eat!” Anti opens the cupboards and digs out his trusty frying pan. The logo on the bottom side of the pan pops up; Dapper Jack’s Pots & Pans!™

“How about Dapper Jack for now? Would you like that? I’ll probably call you Dapper or Dap for short, but it is a nice name!” Anti asks. He turns around for an answer.

The superhuman taps its lips in thought, then nods. Dapper Jack sounds pretty enough to him!

Anti grins and pulls out his frying pan.

“Perfect! Now how about an omelette?”

*

A week passes. Dapper decides his pronouns are he/him. To keep the superhuman occupied, Anti sets up a schedule for him. Dapper spends each day learning and training physically. The schedule is precise and predictable: Wake up, get dressed and brush his teeth, have breakfast, take his meds, ASL/BSL lesson (mostly done online), exercise and training, lunch, back to training and exercise, shower followed by dinner, maybe a movie if Anti isn’t busy, and go to bed.

On Dapper’s second day of living, Anti shows him the basement. A few days before Dapper’s birth, Anti turned his basement office into a gym. There’s a treadmill, a climbing wall, and even an obstacle course. Anti made a VR that plays simulations so Dapper can practice defence and karate. While Anti works upstairs, Dapper plays around with his training set, remixing the pieces of the obstacle course set and testing new stunts everyday.

Dapper discovers more hidden powers and reports each new one to Anti. Now he can leap far and high to get from one building to the next, and he has super strength, incredibly high tolerance for pain, very fast metabolism, and superspeed.

On the fourth day, Dapper comes to Anti before he goes shopping and asks for an eye-patch.

“Why?” Anti asks as he tugs on his coat.

“My right eye, the silver one, is acting weird. I keep seeing strange things while I’m trying to train!”

Anti raises an eyebrow. “What kind of things?”

Dapper shrugs. “It’s… hard to explain. It’s like I’m seeing you, but with a knife and a cut on your neck! And you’re not wearing a doctor’s coat!”

“Huh, weird. Maybe that silver eye does have a power,” Anti remarks.

“A power?!”

“Your silver eye was supposed to have lasers, but when I tried to make one version, it… failed. I still liked the design, so I kept it and gave you a blue eye as well,” Anti explains. He points to his lime-green and blue eyes. “See? We match!”

Dapper still looks sceptical. So Anti buys him an eyepatch and makes up for the failed laser eye by infusing Dapper with the power of flight instead of extreme leaping. That night, he dyes a section of Dapper's hair a pretty shade of turquoise.

Anti has grown fond of the name Dapper Jack. When the mad scientist isn’t building, or drawing, he’s attempting to get copyright to use the name. The company is hard on him, since he gives no legitimate reason as to why he needs it. Anti writes emails long into the night, dodging questions and trying to secure rights while Dapper sleeps, clutching a little stuffed giraffe Anti got him.

On the sixth night, Dapper finally takes Anti’s bed for good, since Anti works nowhere near his bed and is almost always up. Anti doesn’t seem to mind that either, so Dapper can sleep until 10 AM while Anti stays up all drawing blueprints for new evil inventions.

Dapper looks happy, which makes Anti happy. Life is good.

*

Dapper’s life feels… lacking. Sure, Anti takes good care of him, but it never seems to be what Dapper truly wants.

For example, Anti is almost always ordering take-out for dinner, while eating almost little to nothing himself. Couldn’t Anti just get groceries? Dapper is starting to get bored of having hamburgers, nuggets and fries. It can’t be that good for his health. Not that it seems to be affecting his appearance. Every time he flexes and compares his body to the superheroes on the computer, it always looks underwhelming. Dapper is far from weak but his body is the same skinny build it was at the start. His arms show only the smallest hint of muscle. How lame.

Dapper asks to buy groceries for himself and Anti.

“Why? Do you not like McD’s anymore?” Anti asks.

“I know I’m basically a super-person but seriously. I need some vegetables. You always seem to be busy, so I thought I’d go and get the groceries for you! Just make a list and I’ll be back in seconds!”

Anti shakes his head. “Absolutely not! I’ll get groceries later tonight. You don’t need to go outside.”

So Dapper eats his leftover fries and goes back to training.

The mad scientist buys Dapper new clothes, but they’re always gym clothes or all black. Just grey and black t-shirts and sweatpants. Even the socks are either a complete grey or black! Dapper wishes Anti would bring him prettier clothes. The men in some of the crime movies Dapper watches always look so handsome, so why can’t he? Dapper does mean “handsome”, right?

When he asks at dinnertime, Anti replies “What would you need the ‘fancy clothes’ for? It’s not you’re going outside! Besides, a lot of people out there wear sweatpants like that, you wouldn’t be too out of place!”

“Why can’t I go outside then? If you say I’d fit right in with my clothes, I should be able to go outside without being noticed!”

“Most people don’t have your physic or your silver eye. You’d look out of place!” Anti snaps. “Someone could view you as a threat and try to kill you!”

“Most people don’t have my physic, so I should be fine! I do have these so-called powers, right? So I’ll use them!”

“We don’t know if you’re immune to what others can do! They have guns that kill and tasers that hurt! Dapper, please, listen to me! The world is a dangerous place. I don’t want you going out there all alone.”

“The movies say the world is kind and great! Why would they judge me?”

“The movies all lie. They say the world is a beautiful place, but it’s Hell.”

“Then take me with you when you go out. So I’ll know how to survive.” Dapper is desperate.

Anti takes a deep breath and takes Dapper’s hands in his own, willing tears to his eyes. “You wouldn’t like it outside, Dapper. It’s ugly, it’s awful, and it smells. Please believe me, when I say, never go outside unless I tell you to.”

Anti’s tearful, pitiful state does the trick. Dapper nods obediently and goes back to eating. He does not bring up the question again.

*

Dapper stares at his reflection in the mirror, particularly focusing on the eyepatch. Even with it on, he still gets plagued by little visions every now and then. A scary version of Anti comes at him with a knife and black eyes. Dapper wishes he could control this weird power. He doesn’t even know what it does.

The supervillain takes a deep breath and takes off the eyepatch. Might as well try to look into the power more. He closes his eyes. He feels a force push against him, disorienting him. As his vision fades to black he hears glass shattering and a hot liquid run down his forehead...

Everything looks so blurry… his whole body is on fire. There's a figure standing on top of him. Anti! Wait… why doesn’t he look happy? He looks mad. What did he do wrong?

This Anti looks different from his Anti. This Anti wears all black, and no lab coat. His expression is fierce and blood drips from a long cut in his neck. Gross! He’s also... glitching? Part of his body disappear and reappear like a static telly show. Just like the Anti in Dapper’s visions!

“Get up, Jameson. We have more work to do,” Glitchy-Anti says. (Jameson? That’s not his name. Why is Glitchy-Anti calling him that?)

Dapper starts to sit up, only to stumble when he feels his legs shake and his head spin. He feels so tired and weak. He looks down in confusion and sees noodle arms and legs wearing a white button-up and black trousers. Wait, is he this so-called Jameson? It would explain why he’s dressed so different-

  A hand grabs “Jameson” by the throat and slams him against the wall. Jameson gags, grabbing at his throat, black spots dancing in his vision. He gasps for breath, but Glitchy-Anti only tightens his grip.

The scowling demon (demon? Anti isn’t a demon!) holds out his hand and glitches a knife into it! Jameson whimpers, eyes welling up. Glitchy-Anti drops the sobbing man.

“Take off your shirt,” Glitchy-Anti orders. Jameson hesitates.

“You’re a grown man, you can do it yourself! Do you need me to do it for you?!” Glitchy-Anti snaps. His eyes become black puddles. Jameson flinches at his harsh tone, hastily unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it aside.

“Hands on the wall,” Glitchy-Anti commands. Shivering, Jameson turns around and plants both hands on the wall. He grits his teeth as he feels a cold sting run across his back, before it digs in. Jameson jerks, but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he balls his hands in fists and closes his eyes as he feels Anti carve something into his back.

“Puppet,” Anti reads aloud when he is done. “Do you know why I wrote that?

Jameson turns around and signs with trembling hands, “It’s what I am…”

“Good puppet… I think you’ve earned a nap. Go into the corner and sleep now, Jameson.” (There’s the name again!)

Jameson wastes no time, scrambling over to the corner, where a dingy mattress waits. He collapses on it and pants, feeling hot liquid drip down his back. The cell is freezing, but Jameson decides to wait before putting his shirt back on. He doesn’t want to ruin his only clothes.

A face appears in his memory. Chase Brody. (Wait, who?) He misses Chase. He hopes Dr. Schneeplestein is okay (Who’s that?). He wishes he could curl up with a warm blanket in front of a fire with a nice cup of tea. Jameson realizes he’s started crying again, tears leaving tracks on his muddy, bloody face. The poor gentleman covers his face and cries himself to sleep.

“Dapper? Dapper!” Dapper’s eyes fly open. Anti, his Anti, not the creepy, glitching man, pillows Dapper's head with his lap. Dapper sits up and crawls away from Anti.

“Are you alright?” Anti frets. “I heard a loud thump and came in to find you lying on the floor! How’s your head?”

Dapper only shrugs, reaching up to feel his forehead. A thick bandage is wrapped around it. He looks down to see glass from the shattered mirror scattered all over the floor. What did he just experience? He spies the eyepatch on the sink and hastily puts it on. No way he is experiencing that again!

“Why don’t we skip training for today?” Anti suggests. “You go back to bed and rest. I don’t think you have a concussion, but still, we should be careful.” Dapper nods and lets Anti help him up.

A little while later, Dapper lies in bed, reading until his eyes grow heavy. He falls asleep once more, eyepatch secure.

He opens his eyes. Glitchy-Anti smiles back at him. Dapper’s stomach sinks.

“Did you have a good sleep, Jameson?” No response.

“Get up, we’re going into town.” Jameson struggles to get to his feet, feeling incredibly weak and powerless. He slips and falls a few times, before Anti scoffs and raises his hands. Jameson’s wrists burn as his arms are hoisted up. He looks up and yelps when he sees white strings wrapped around his wrists. He looks down and notices two strings on his ankle as well. His neck burns as well, so there must be a string there too. What is happening to him?! Is he really a puppet?!

Dapper wakes with a gasp. He sits up and clutches at his throat, expecting to see string there, and is relieved to find none. He sighs and checks his wrists. No strings there. He lifts up his pants to see his ankles. No strings. Phew!

“Dapper? What are you doing?” Dapper whips his head around to see Anti standing beside him, holding a bowl of soup.

Dapper only stares. This Anti is much different from Glitchy-Anti. This Anti has a lab coat and lets Dapper do what he pleases and doesn’t carve into his skin like Glitchy-Anti. Dapper looks the mad scientist up and down. Black clothing. Gaunt face. Dapper glances at Anti’s neck. His heart skips a beat. A long scar runs horizontally across Anti’s neck. Why didn’t Dapper see that until now?!

Does this mean Anti is evil, like Glitchy-Anti? Well, this Anti is evil, but he doesn’t torture Dapper, right? Sure he doesn't let him outside, but that’s because the world is scary and deserves to be punished, right?

“Eat up. I want you to relax for the rest of the day,” Anti orders. “You look shaken from that collapse. You can restart training tomorrow.” Dapper nods and doesn’t question anything.

That night, Dapper dreams of being tortured by Glitchy-Anti. The horrible monster whips him, drowns him, forces him to kill innocent people against his will. Dapper can barely breathe or think as abuse of all kinds rains down on him, from physical to verbal and sometimes even mental. Anti plants nightmares and awful hallucinations in his mind, calling him weak, stupid, a puppet.

Anti’s physical form changes as well. One minute he has curly hair and strange marks running down his cheeks, the next minute he has horns and a tail. Only one thing stays the same: Anti’s neck wound persists throughout every vision.

Dapper changes too. One minute he has colour, other times he omits a black-and-white aura. His eyesight changes from colourblind to seeing more than just colours. Sometimes he wears a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, sometimes no shirt and only boxers, other times he wears a full on suit, complete with a bowler hat and a bowtie. The suit and vest are appearing more often.

Dapper avoids meeting Anti’s eyes for the rest of the day. He doesn’t know what he’s seeing. It can’t be him. It can’t be him! Sure, this Anti has evil intentions, but he never inflicts harm on Dapper, right?

Anti watches Dapper gobble up his food then run off. Gone are the days when Dapper would beg Anti to stay and chat with him, instead, Dapper seems to make it his mission to avoid him. That night, Dapper opts to sleep in his gym, and drags Edgar the Giraffe, Anti’s extra blanket and pillow down with him. Anti doesn’t stop him.

This night is no better. This time, Glitchy-Anti taunts him, telling him he’ll never be trusted by the others, and that beyond being a puppet, he has no purpose. He waves his fingers and Dapper kills innocent beings, slashing knives through their bodies. Dapper is powerless to stop himself.

He’s bombarded with different names as well. Dapper, Puppet, Marionette, Puppet, Dagger, Puppet… One name is heard often, screamed at him as he performs unforgivable deeds in front of others: Jameson Jackson. Is that his name, or another insult thrown at him? It sounds like a name. Could it be his?

Anti and the innocent bodies disappear. The knife falls from Dapper’s grasp and fades before it hits the floor. Dapper looks up, panting. A mirror stands before him. Dapper gapes as his reflection changes to a man that looks like him yet not like him at all. Gone are Anti’s hand-me-down clothes. Instead, a man wears a button up shirt with a blue vest, a bowler hat and no shoes. His gentle blue eyes gently observe Dapper’s, and his smile is kind and understanding. Dapper can’t help but admire his fancy and refined black moustache. He touches his own, only to feel the same scruff he’s been trying to style for weeks. Maybe this Dapper can help him?

Other-Dapper lifts his hands to speak. Dapper gasps in anticipation, but looks down and recoils upon seeing the white strings, so thin yet so heavy on Other-Dapper’s wrists. He grabs at his own wrists, but luckily, there are no strings there.

The mirror glitches and Other-Dapper’s arms are suspended in the air, his mouth hanging open, and his eyes ghost white with possession.

Dapper wakes in a sweat, grabbing at his wrists. He feels no string. Thank goodness. He looks around. Edgar lies beside him, ready for a hug. The gym is empty, only the shadows of the monkey bars remain. He thinks he sees strings out of the corner of his eye and whips his head around. It’s just the ropes for wall-climbing. Dapper sighs in relief, then realizes something else. Where’s Anti?

The superhuman gets up and tiptoes upstairs, careful not to make a sound, lest the scientist wakes up. He peers around the corner and squints at the living space. No Anti. All the lights are off, a rarity.

Dapper slowly makes his way over to the living space of the lair. He can see a bumpy outline on the couch. Anti. He squints. Anti is passed out on the couch, a bottle of tequila in his hand.

Dapper sighs and heads back down. These dreams are getting too personal. Are they really a sign of what’s to come?

The next morning, Dapper stays curled up in his blanket, thinking. Glitchy-Anti is not Dr. Anti. Even though Anti works with broken technology, he certainly doesn’t behave like it. But they both have the same neck wound. Dr. Anti’s is closed, while Glitchy-Anti’s is openly bleeding. Gross.

Then there’s Other-Dapper. Other-Dapper dresses much fancier than Dapper, and has a way better moustache than him, but he seems to lack the powers that Dapper has. His eye colour is different too. Yet they seem to be connected.

Are these Other-Dapper’s warning him of something? That if he doesn’t escape soon he’ll become a full-on puppet, only used to serve an awful human being?

Dapper shudders at the thought. He hates the thought of being used and controlled, kept on a tight leash. Anti doesn’t do that to him! He lets him whatever he wants! Except for going outside, he never seems to want Dapper to go out.

The outside world is big, scary, mean and unfair according to Anti. He wants to destroy it. But what if he’s wrong? What if there’s more outside the lab? What if Anti’s keeping Dapper locked in so he won’t get attached, so he’ll destroy without questioning a thing?

He needs to get back to the mirror tonight.

*

“Hey, Dapper!” Anti calls out. “I’m free for the night, you wanna watch something on Netflix?”

Dapper looks up from his book on BSL. He looks at the time. 9:30 PM. He shakes his head.

“No? Not feeling like it?” Anti asks. Dapper shakes his head. He needs to sleep and see the Other-Dapper again.

“How is it that when I don’t have time for anything, you want me around, and when I am free, you don’t even want to be near me?” Anti questions, shaking his head. Dapper decides not to respond. Don’t look suspicious… don’t be suspicious…

Anti sighs and shrugs. “Oh well. I shouldn’t be surprised. Have a good sleep, Dapper.”

Dapper smiles and drags his blanket, pillow and giraffe down to the basement.

“Good night, Dapper!” Anti calls out. Dapper gives him a thumbs up as he treads downstairs.

Dapper yanks some of the mats off their padding on the wall and crashes onto the floor. He closes his eyes and waits for sleep to come.

An hour slowly ticks by. Dapper is getting very uncomfortable just lying on the flat mattress with only shadows of creepy gym equipment to look at. He hears the sound of popcorn popping upstairs. His stomach growls. No, he can’t! What if it’s a trap?! A trap that will lure him into strings?!

The popcorn stops popping. Dapper’s stomach growls again. He grumbles and burrows under the blanket. He can smell the butter. Sighing angrily at himself, Dapper gets up and storms upstairs, taking Edgar with him.

Anti is on the couch, turning on Netflix when he sees Dapper. “Ah, the little pup finally emerges from his den! Not even the strongest people can resist popcorn!”

Dapper freezes at the word. Pup? Isn’t that short for puppet? He fidgets by the couch, bracing himself for the seemingly inevitable strings. For a moment, there is silence.

“Well? You want some popcorn or not?!” Anti demands. Dapper nods and cautiously sits a foot away from Anti. Anti slides the bowl over and Dapper digs in.

“I don’t get you, Dapper,” Anti sighs, shaking his head. “You seem to be so on edge all the time. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?”

Dapper pretends to think for a minute, then shakes his head. He continues to hoard the popcorn. Anti watches with disgust as he devours the popcorn without skipping a beat.

“OK… I guess I’m not having any…” Anti mumbles. He puts on whatever animated movie shows up first and curls up. Dapper stops to catch his breath and is surprised to notice how little popcorn is left. He looks up and sees Anti hugging a pillow, expression forlorn.

Dapper feels a twinge of guilt. Sure, Anti may be plotting to make him a mind-controlled puppet but that doesn’t mean he can’t have popcorn. No one deserves to be deprived of such a snack! The superhuman slides the popcorn bowl back to Anti. Anti raises an eyebrow. Dapper smiles sheepishly.

“Thanks Dapper, but you can have the rest,” Anti finally says. Dapper grins and shoves another handful of popcorn in his mouth. Anti chuckles. At least Dapper is comfortable enough to be near Anti again. That’s worth more than popcorn.

As the movie plays on, Dapper’s eyelids start to droop. He slumps against his pillow and finally begins to sleep, curled up in his blanket, clutching Edgar close to his chest.

When Dapper opens his eyes, he’s in the void once more. In front of him is a puppet booth! The puppet booth has red painted walls with the card suit shapes drawn underneath the stage. Blue curtains are hung up in the little viewing window, and big letters read Jolly JJ’s Jaunts. JJ?

A man pops up. It’s Other-Dapper! Dapper gasps. Quick, what should he say?!

“Who are you?” asks Dapper.

Other-Dapper smiles and signs, “Hello, my name is Jameson Jackson.”

Jameson Jackson. That sounds a lot more dapper than plain old “Dapper Jack”. Dapper says, “What a pretty name! Anti calls me Dapper Jack, after a frying pan. I like Jameson Jackson much better!”

Jameson chuckles. “Thank you.”

The puppet booth glitches. Jameson shudders, face scrunching up in pain. Dapper’s blood goes cold when he sees white strings slither up the booth and slowly wrap around his arms.

Dapper needs to act fast. “Is this what will happen to me if I stay? Where should I go? How do I escape Anti?!”

Jameson lifts trembling hands up and signs, “Help… me…” before fainting, eyes sliding back into his head as his body slumps in strings. Dapper yelps and rushes over to help him, only to be thrust back. Jameson screams as green strings begin to bind around his wrists.

Dapper wakes up in a cold sweat. The lab is pitch-black, the movie is off and Anti slouched on the couch. Edgar has fallen off the couch. Dapper scoops him up and hugs him tightly, blinking back tears.

Dapper wants to, no, must escape. As soon as possible. Whatever brought these dreams on must be a warning. A warning of what’s to come if he sticks around. He whimpers and a tear falls down his cheek. Anti stirs in his sleep. Dapper moves off the couch and tiptoes back to his gym, Edgar clutched tightly to his chest.

*

Six days before Halloween, Anti comes in with a bottle of alcohol. 

“Jameson! My favourite brand of whiskey, coming straight from Ireland herself!” Anti says, brandishing the bottle.

Dapper’s heart skips a beat upon hearing the name. Isn’t Jameson the name of the man he spoke to last night?! Is this a sign? Is this how he escapes?! What does he need to do?! Smash the bottle over Anti’s head?!

“I decided to take the night off, Dapper. Tonight is a night for celebrating and getting absolutely wasted! You want some?”

Dapper politely declines. Dapper has tried it before, and he never will again. He hates losing the feeling of control. After all he’s seen in his dreams, he wants to be completely aware of himself and his surroundings and in full control of himself. And tonight, he needs to do just so. With Anti drunk and off his game, Dapper will escape into the night.

Anti takes a swig of whiskey. “I haven't had this in forever. I really do need to treat myself more often. It’s all work and no play for me.”

Dapper nods in mock understanding and turns on the television. He flips to the movie channel and puts on the first movie he can find: ironically, it’s a black-and-white Frankenstein movie. Stifling his giggles, Dapper gets up to make some popcorn. He opens the cupboard doors and throws the bag into the microwave.

“Last time I had Jameson was right after my parents disowned me. It was the perfect drink for mourning. Or rather, celebration. My parents weren’t the best, anyway,” Anti explains. “They hated my ass. I always knew they were looking for a reason to disown me. I’m the screw-up of the family. The black sheep. The thorn among roses.”

Dapper pours the popcorn into the bowl and puts the butter in the microwave. Since when does Anti ever talk about his personal life?

Anti sniffs and takes another drink. “My parents neglected me. I was always being compared to my younger brother. Angus, that’s his name. I don’t know where Angus is now… Probably being all high and mighty…”

Dapper spreads the melted butter into the popcorn and heads back to the couch, smiling.

Anti looks up and smiles sadly. “Aww, Dapper, you’re too sweet!” Dapper’s smile grows wider. Might as well enjoy his last night with Anti before he runs away.

“You know, Dap, I have a feeling you’ll make a fine puppet one day!” Dapper’s stomach plummets and he turns to Anti wide-eyed, expecting to be stringed up any moment.

Anti, in turn, simply smiles and raises his bottle, before taking another huge gulp. Dapper does his best to calm his racing heart. That was close. He decides he doesn’t like Pinocchio as much anymore…

“At least you give a shit about me Dap,” Anti gripes. “Even after I was unceremoniously thrown out of my home, literally, Angus didn’t come to say goodbye. Didn’t even look sad to see me go. No ‘You two are horrid!’ or ‘Anti, please stay’! Just stared.”

Dapper looks down, not knowing what to say. Anti gulps down more whiskey then scowls loudly.

“Who needs those two?! They’re bloody assholes, that’s what they are!” Anti roars, punching the couch. “I’ve got my inventions! I’ve got you! Who needs them and their stuck-up son?!”

Dapper decides not to respond. He can’t help but feel a tad guilty for leaving Anti, especially after hearing all this new information-

No. He can’t afford second-guessing himself. This is a trap, Anti’s trying to keep him tethered to him. He needs to leave. No matter how awful Dapper feels for Anti, he needs to get out.

“No one ever needs me… I’m just a waste of space…” Anti says, voice dropping to a whisper. He slumps over, hair hanging limply in his face. “Did you know neither one of my parents didn’t even come to my birth? I was all alone, waiting for them to pick me up.”

Dapper sits gaping on the couch, questioning that last piece of information. Don’t you need the mother to deliver the baby?

“I’ve been all alone my entire life,” Anti says, voice breaking into a sob. “Everyone hated me. Teachers scoffed at me. My partners were all just one-night stands. I once adopted a turtle and he ran away from me!”

Anti breaks down in tears. Loud, messy sobs echo throughout the lair. Dapper pats Anti’s back. Even after all Anti’s done, Dapper can’t help but feel sorry for him.

Anti cries for the rest of the night, stopping only to drink more whiskey. As much as Dapper wants Anti drunk so he can escape, everyone has a limit and Anti is teetering dangerously to the edge. After the bottle is more than half-empty, Dapper gently confiscates it and pulls Anti off the couch to take him to bed.

“You’re too good for me, Dapper,” Anti whispers hoarsely. “I hope I can one day earn your love.” Dapper’s stomach flips uncomfortably.

Anti flops onto the bed, only occasionally sniffling or hiccuping. Dapper clumsily throws the blanket over him and pats his head. Before he can leave, he feels a hand gripping his wrist. Dapper turns around.

“Good night, sweet Dapper. Have sweet dreams,” Anti whispers. Dapper smiles and plants a kiss on Anti’s head before pretending to head downstairs.

An hour later, Anti’s snores resound throughout the lab. Dapper creeps out of the basement, gripping Edgar. Dapper scans the room. Where’s the exit?

His eyes slowly adjust to the dark. Anti’s evil machines look even scarier at night. Dapper hugs Edgar close and pulls his grey hoodie tighter around him. Perhaps if he walked around the wall, he might find it. Dapper tentatively places a shaking hand on the wall and begins walking across the lair.

His x-ray eyes scan the lab, taking in every detail. Nothing but big machines and walls filled with blueprints. Wait, what’s that in the corner?!

Dapper suddenly notices two big iron doors in the far corner of the left. Could that be the entrance, er, exit to the real world? Dapper dashes over.

He stops in front of the doors. He can feel a little breeze. He presses his ear against it and hears the sounds of loud honking and wind. The big doors say “push” so he gives it a nudge. A cold breeze flies through the crack as it squeaks open. Dapper jumps and turns to the corner. He hears Anti snoring. Dapper signs in relief.

This is it. He takes a deep breath, and steps through.

The first thing he sees is a tall tower lit up in the dark. Surrounding the tall tower are tinier buildings with lit up windows. Dapper gasps in awe. He shivers in the cold air, but refuses to go back in. Not when there’s so much to explore!

Dapper walks across the road, following the lights, almost entranced by them. Around him, cars honk their horns and screech to avoid the young man, but Dapper is too distracted to notice. Eventually he gets bored of following the big buildings and looks around.

The city is alive with families and friends laughing and talking. The roads are lit up with bright lights, shining the way. Cars drive by, blasting loud music and horns. Dapper merrily skips down the sidewalk, bouncing over the cracks.

By the fence is the beach, the ocean glittering under the moonlight. The sand looks so soft! Dapper runs across to feel the sand under his toes. The minute the soft but cool sand touched his feet, he’s in ecstasy. Dapper runs through the sand, laughing. He reaches the water and squeals upon feeling the cold ocean freeze his toes. He stumbles in surprise and topples backward. He sits up, giggling at himself. People pass him, watching the strange man with seemingly no voice. He ignores them and gets up, brushing away the sand and glares.

He feels a bit tired. Perhaps he should find a place to sleep. He looks around. There’s a hotel not too far from here. Maybe he can rest there.

The real world is a bit colder than Dapper expected. His teeth chatter and his body shivers as he walks up the beach deck and across the street to the hotel.

The door is a strange one, spinning like a merry-go-round. Dapper pushes through it and stumbles through. Immediately a warm flow of air thaws him and Dapper sighs. He wipes his feet on the scratchy mat and walks up to the receptionist.

“Can I have a room please?” Dapper asks. The receptionist stares at him funny. Dapper tries to hide his frustration and mimics writing. People really need to start learning sign language.

The receptionist looks him up and down. Dapper stares down and notices just how unkempt he looks. A big grey hoodie, a baggy, short sleeved black t-shirt, drooping sweatpants and no shoes. He sighs in frustration. He should have dressed better before he went out. Wait, why didn’t he put on shoes before he left?!

He hears the receptionist talking and looks up just as the receptionist finishes saying something. Suddenly he feels strong hands grab his arms and pull him backward. He screams and yanks himself out of their grip. He turns around to face the intruders. Two men wearing suits have their hands up.

“Sorry sir, but we can’t take in homeless folk,” one man says. Dapper scoffs in shock.

“I’m not homeless! I just need a place to stay!” he snaps. The men catch each other’s eyes. Neither seem to know what to say. Do these police not know sign language?!

Finally, one of them says while signing, “Policy. Sorry, buddy, but you need to leave.”

Dapper growls softly, fighting back tears. He doesn’t want to risk looking like a fool, so with his head held high, he storms back into the cold. The wind hits him like an icy blast. He shivers once more, hugging his arms. Maybe he should try the next building?

Four hotels later, Dapper sits on a bench, rubbing his cold arms. He should have brought a hoodie and a notepad. Anti always said the world was cruel, but never this cruel. Maybe he should go back-

No. This is better than Anti. Anti will put painful strings on him and make him kill against his will. He’d rather be cold and homeless than with Anti.

Full of determination once more, Dapper gets up and decides to walk around some more. There has to be someone around here kind enough to let him crash for the night. There has to be!

*

Anti wakes up with a pounding head and a dry mouth. He sits up, spitting hair out of his mouth. Fuck, he needs a haircut.

The lab is eerily quiet, even for him. Usually he’d hear the sound of Dapper’s footsteps on the floor, but today? Nothing.

“Dapper?” Anti calls out. No response, obviously. It’s not like Dapper can respond.

He must still be asleep, reasons one side of Anti’s brain. Perhaps I should go and check on him.

And get punched in the face for scaring him?! Nah man, he’s too on edge. Can’t risk it, the other side of the brain interjects.

Anti gets up and makes breakfast. Chocolate chip banana pancakes, hard-boiled eggs and honey side bacon, all of Dapper’s favourites.

He sits down to eat. Dapper does not come.

He eats breakfast and washes the dishes. He leaves the leftovers on the counter. Dapper still does not come.

Anti puts on his lab coat and sits down to work. Right, Dapper needs a suit for work. What should he do? Obviously, tights, all superheroes seem to have tights. Or maybe not. Perhaps a built-in bullet-proof vest, just in case the cops decide to use their stupid guns. Such an archaic weapon. Bullets don’t stand a chance against his machines. Right, back to clothes.

Of course, Dapper needs a mask to hide his true identity, so he can come and go as he pleases. When he can be trusted, that is. Anti looks up masquerade masks. Upon seeing some of the beautiful Venice masks on his Pinterest, he erases his current design and starts over. If Dapper is called such, he might as well look the part...

Time stretches on. Anti feels a pain in his back and gets up to stretch. He looks at the clock.

3:00 pm! Anti cringes. Holy shit, he’s been at Dapper’s design for four hours now! He stands up and his head rocks as if he is on a boat. He feels a bit faint. He should probably eat. Anti stumbles over to the kitchen and takes out the frying pan again. He needs to get groceries soon. He looks at the table. Dapper’s food has gone cold and the eggs smell. Anti frowns. Where is Dapper?

What if he got hurt and hasn’t woken up yet? Anti’s heart worries. Anti runs down to the basement. The gym looks untouched. He walks around it, searching for a collapsed body, but the gym looks unused. He checks under the monkey bars. No Dapper. He flips the blanket over. No Dapper.

Anti's attempts at quieting the growing panic rising in his gut are futile, though he tries nonetheless. His footsteps echo up and down the corridor as he runs towards the observatory, where Dapper was born.

“Dapper?! Dapper, where are you?!” Anti cries out as he reaches the top. A flock of birds fly out of the empty observatory. Anti shields his eyes as feathers blow everywhere. As the mess clears, Anti waits to see Dapper’s figure standing by the control panel. No such luck. Anti dashes downstairs once more.

“Dapper, if this is a game to you, it’s no longer funny!” Anti snaps. “Dapper, WHERE ARE YOU?! DAPPER!”

His voice reverberates through the lab. Anti collapses to his knees, stomach shrinking by the second. 

He tries to recall last night. What happened… He remembers getting Jameson Whiskey… It was a way to celebrate his latest project being finished! Dapper declined having any and made popcorn instead. Anti passed out… Did Dapper-

Oh. Anti shrivels. Dapper left. That’s why he didn’t want any whiskey. He wanted to escape.

Is that why the superhuman has been acting so distant lately? Was he just waiting for the right moment to escape? Why would he do that? What drove him away from Anti? Was Anti too condescending? Did he not show him enough love? Was he too protective?

It doesn’t matter now, does it? Dapper has left, just like all the rest have. He knew it was too good to be true. Even his own inventions leave him in one way or the other. Destined to be alone for the rest of his life.

He can feel tears falling out of his eyes. He allows them to come, curling up and bawling on the floor.

*

Dapper has been walking since sunrise. His body has warmed up a bit as he walked, and he knows it, but it’s still not enough. He’s also getting quite hungry. But if the hotel incident has taught him anything, it’s that they don’t like people who look like him. His stomach growls again. He rubs his aching stomach and hugs Edgar close. He feels a bit tired. He should sit down.

GROWL! Guess he should eat. Dapper lazily turns around, looking for something related to food. Maybe he can just steal something. He does have superspeed, so it shouldn't be that hard!

He trips over his feet, his head spinning. The world tilts for a few seconds before he picks himself up. OK, he might not be able to use superspeed… He should sleep...

A warm and pleasant smell fills his senses, perking him up. He looks up and gasps. Across the street is a bakery! Dapper licks his lips and begins to cross the road-

“WATCH OUT!” A hand grabs him and pulls him back. Dapper yelps as a big truck roars by, honking its horn. The loud sound wakes him up somewhat, but his ears won’t stop ringing now and he feels nauseous. Why is the ground spinning so much?

“The big ones don’t stop for anyone.” a voice says. Dapper turns and comes face-to-face with a blurry figure wearing a red coat. The face has brown facial hair, so it must be a man.

“Are you alright, my good sir?” the man asks.

Dapper shrugs and signs sloppily, “Thank you.”

“Oh… uh, I’m not that good at sign language… but I assume that means thank you?” the man guesses. Dapper nods, too tired to clap his hands.

“Oh! You’re welcome!” the man says with a chuckle.

Dapper smiles lazily. The world looks even blurrier than before and the ground seems to be closer to his face than he thought. He thinks he can hear the man screaming, but he’s passed out before he can register anything else.

*

“So you just found a homeless man on the ground and decided to take him home? Jeez, and I thought Chase was too soft.” 

“He looked ill! He was too disoriented to speak and then he just fainted right in front of me! It’s certainly not as if I could just leave the poor fellow there, just shivering in the cold! He was freezing, he had no coat on!”

“That doesn’t mean you can just pick him up and adopt him on the spot! We can’t afford another person!”

“Between you and Chase, there’s enough money to keep all five afloat! What are you on about, Marvin?”

“He’s so cute, can we keep him?”

“We can’t keep a human we just met, Chase!”

“Oh look, he’s waking up!”

Dapper registers a warm blanket on top of him and a soft pillow holding his head. It’s so warm and stuffy, he must be inside… His eyelids flutter open to see a white ceiling. He feels a familiar yarn against his cheek. Edgar has been tucked in beside him. Dapper smiles and begins to sit up-

A hand gently pushes him back down. “Stay! You have a fever and you must sleep!” the man from before stands over him, blue eyes full of worry. Dapper relectuntantly lies down again, watching the man apprehensively.

“You’re probably a little scared, but don’t be. You’re safe now,” the man says, smiling. “My name is Jackie, and behind me are Chase and Marvin. Chase wears a cape.”

Dapper nods slowly, taking in Jackie’s appearance with sharper eyesight. Jackie wears a beautiful red coat with golden filigree on the pockets and lapels. Dapper can’t help but admire his silky brown hair pulled back in a short ponytail. Maybe he should grow his hair out.

Behind Jackie are two more gentlemen. Chase indeed wears an inky blue cape over top of a dark-grey t-shirt. His sea-blue eyes twinkle with laughter. Marvin pulls his fuzzy teal cardigan tighter around his body. His shoulder-length black hair has been neatly braided.

“After you fainted, I knew I couldn’t leave you alone, so I brought you back to my house,” Jackie explains. “Also, you look a little like someone I know. I wanted to bring you back for comparison. I left my little telephone at home again.”

Dapper simply watches all three. They look kind enough, but Dapper needs to be careful around strangers. Even if they’re the first strangers to help him since he got outside.

Chase steps forward, holding a notepad and four sparkly, colourful pens. “Jackie told me you used sign language. All of us are a bit rusty at it, so I brought some writing materials for you until we can get that sorted. What’s your name?”

Dapper picks the purple pen and begins to write Dapper, but stops after the D. He no longer belongs to Anti, he can call himself whatever he pleases now! He’s a free man! He scribbles it out.

What was the other one’s name? Jameson Jackson? That sounds lovely enough, he hopes the gentleman wouldn’t mind if he takes it as well. He mouths the word. It even rolls off the tongue! A beautiful name! He scribbles the name down, grinning madly. It’s so lovely to look at, especially in purple and glitter!

“Jameson Jackson? That’s a beautiful name!” Chase exclaims. Jameson’s heart skips a beat.

“We’re very pleased to meet you, Jameson,” Marvin pipes up, a smile finally showing. Jameson smiles wide with glee.

“Welcome to the Septiceye establishment!” Jackie says. Jameson bounces happily and claps his hands.

Jameson, oh what a lovely name! Jameson! It is his own, and he can use it wherever, whenever he pleases. No more being locked up in a stupid lab with a suspicious man, he’s free! Jameson laughs with glee. Jameson, Jameson, Jameson!

*

Jameson, Jameson Jameson. Anti’s hands shake with fury as he smashes the bottle against the wall. The glass scatters across the floor, some of its pieces digging into his feet.

This is what caused his downfall. This is why Dapper left him. He no longer wants to drink it. He no longer wishes to drink at all. He despises the brand, and its stupid name. Jameson, Jameson, Jameson.

*

Jameson (the name brings a smile to his face) sips his chicken broth, the contents warming his chilled bones. Edgar the giraffe sits beside him, a little napkin wrapped around his long neck.

After lots of pleading and persuasion, the “Septic’s” have finally allowed him to sit downstairs with the rest of them, and the couch has turned into his little throne. Chase has put on a Disney movie and the superhuman sways to the lovely music.

The house is pretty enough. Light sea-green walls, lots of open arches leading into each room, and enough space for the four guys. The rooms open up into each other, leaving lots of space for any pets that might run by. Already Jameson has acquainted himself with Sirius, Marvin’s calico cat and Sam, a wolf-look-alike mutt that Chase fell in love with and adopted off the streets. Both pets approach him warily, as if there is something off about Jameson, but they can’t place what it is.

Jameson knows what the pets find strange about him. He still hasn’t shown his powers yet, and he’s not sure if he should. Anti told him that his powers were not normal, and since he was a villain, the people would hate and fear him for what he was. But Jameson no longer works and serves for Anti. He’s not a villain, and he never will be. He turns to the Septiceyes, still huddled in the corner. His stomach shrinks and he puts down the soup. Are they planning on throwing him out?

Finally, all three nod and join Jameson on the couch. Marvin pauses the movie, so Jameson knows whatever they’re about to say must be important. He steels himself for the inevitable.

“So, how long do you think you’ll be staying here?” Marvin asks.

He can stay! Oh joy! Jameson brightens and writes, “You mean it? Can I really stay?”

“Of course you’re staying!” Jackie declares. “We can’t just leave you out there to starve!” 

“There’s just… something we need to discuss…” Chase admits. Jameson sits up. After everything that happened between him and Anti, he’s prepared for everything.

“We have some secrets that need to be kept secret,” Chase explains. “So if you’re staying, chances are you’re going to find out soon enough, which is why we need you to swear on your life that you won’t tell anyone what we’re about to tell you.”

Jameson nods seriously and crosses his heart.

“Good. Now for the secret: we’re the superheroes that protect this city,” Chase says.

Jameson fails to stifle a gasp. Superheroes? Like him? With powers and the will to save the day?

“I’m the magical magician in charge of damage control,” Chase continues. He waves his hand and with a poof of yellow and pink sparkles, Edgar jumps into the air! Jameson’s jaw drops down as Edgar waves hello then gently lands back on the couch.

“I’m the technician who fights the evil scientist.” Jackie takes a gadget out of his jacket and turns it on. He fiddles with the controls before a whirring sound comes down the hallway. A lime-green robotic ball no bigger than Sirius flies over to the couch. Upon close inspection Jameson realizes it is an eyeball! Its blue iris stares at Jameson curiously, before waving its tail. Jameson waves back.

He can’t believe it. Anti lied to him! Anti said other people would hate and fear  his powers, yet here he is, surrounded by people with similar mindsets and talents! Maybe he should show them his own.

“There is supposed to be another with us but he’s… well, you know about him.” Marvin trails off, a solemn expression on his face.

Jameson shakes his head, puzzled. What other one? He asks.

“Henrik von Schneeplestein, the glitching man,” Jackie answers. “He went up against Dr. AntiSepticeye and paid for it horribly.”

Somehow, that answer only perplexes Jameson more. Henrik is the glitching man? He thought Anti was the glitchy one.

“Dr. Anti Septic Eye? I wasn’t aware Anti had a license! What did he do to Henrik? How is Henrik the glitching man? I thought Anti was the glitching man!”

“What? No! Henrik von Schneeplestein has the glitches, Anti is the evil mad scientist- wait, what do you mean by ‘Anti was the glitching mean’? Did you know Anti?” Chase says all of this remarkably fast.

Jameson stands up and stretches, feeling his strength returning. Then with one hand, he casually lifts the couch off the ground and holds it up in the air. The Septiceyes gawk and stammer with amazement and shock.

Jameson sets it back down and writes, “I’m Anti’s invention, in a way. He created me to be a supervillain with the usual superhero powers, but then I had a vision of him torturing and controlling me, so I ran away. In the visions, he was glitching, like a low signal television.”

For a minute, all is silent. Then Marvin speaks. “In… In a movie we once watched, a man could see into multiple realities, or universes. Perhaps that was you using your powers…?”

Huh. So that’s what the silver eye does. He silently thanks whatever made his eye fail to shoot lasers. It saved his life.

“Yeah, that makes sense! I mean, I have yet to control it too, Jameson admits. We’ll see down the line.”

“So that’s why the doctor was gone for a while… you were his new plan,” Chase breathes.

Jameson shakes his head. “I’m not his little puppet anymore. I am free. I ran away when I realized what staying entailed. I refuse to be a puppet on strings. I want to be free. I want to lead my own life.”

The heroes nod in solidarity. Jameson balls his hands in fists. Time to teach the ex-puppetmaster a lesson.

*

Two days before Halloween, 2017. Stuck at home with nothing to do, voice practically gone, feeling like absolute shit, Seán McLoughlin sits at his computer, scrolling through Steam. He knows he shouldn’t be recording, not with laryngitis, but Signe has gone out of town, giving Jack some time to do whatever he wants.

Only one game catches his blurry-eyed attention. It’s a cute little steam game, about a silent film actor shooting a superhero movie. Jack watches the preview. Seems cute enough, and you can customize your own character. Jack grins and adds it to his cart.

Wait, how will he speak? He obviously can’t talk, so what else can he do? He looks at the demo. Slides with words appear when the character talks. It might just work…

******

@graysun, @florenceisfalling, @miishae, @lonelyseiren, @goldenoceanaart, @oasisofgalaxies, @fleecal, @kofi-kiing, @myspatialspace, @jo-ann-ahh-2, @huffletrax, @indic0lite, @dumbasticart, @lunaarmada, @meteorshowersfillthesky, @uhhbeans,  @the-pastel-kitsune, @ptide  @climbing-starrs, @the-spawn-of-loki, @jadehowlettthewolf, @obsidiancreates, @rammypaige, @cest-mellow, @randowaffle, @green-protects, @dezi-popp, @badlypostedeverything, @crystalninjaphoenix, @milokno, @pixelpixie-pix, @why-killed-markiplier

#antisepticeye #jameson jackson #jse egos #jacksepticeye #writersofjack #writers of jack #swap au #writing #immabethehero #apparently i can write

[thetidemice]

since i havent put this on tumblr yet, i propose the nichest crossover i have ever made:

paper girls and bbc ghosts. if u dont know the premise for ghosts, basically erin moves into a big old house the same way as alison did blah blah mysterious family death inheritance etc. possibly with missy, because it's fun to have someone in the house who cant see ghosts (sorry mike). so they're just trying to fix the fucked up old falling apart house, there are builders round, etc, until one day, oh no! she gets shot in the stomach in a mugging or an accident or something (except she doesnt get healed by bugs this time it's just the hospital). she spends some time in hospital while the ghosts continue to try and hopelessly scare missy out of the house. in the accident, erin dies for a moment - but the doctors manage to bring her back to life before she's actually gone, and she heals up pretty well. on the car ride home, she notices some oddly dressed people.

when she gets inside, honestly wanting to lie down (except there are builders everywhere trying to do something about the ceiling beams or whatever), there's a young woman, possibly a trainee, who should be wearing a hard hat. she tells her to put one on, and goes on with her day.

oh fuck, oh no, it was a ghost. that ghost just reported back to the other ghosts that she saw me she spoke to me!! and now the others are here and oh my god that one just walked through a wall and that ones got blood all down their shirt and oh my god i'm going insane.

anyway etc etc, the first 2 episodes of ghosts except its paper girls. there are 9 ghosts in the show, and obviously i'm going to have mac, tiff, and kj, but i could put in characters like wari and qanta to make it more interesting? the 3 main ghost girls all died when they were about teenagers just to keep it less confusing (i know that's sad)

mac is a paperboy from the 40s or 50s. she dresses as a boy so she could get the job, with short ginger hair and a jacket. she has an irish accent in this, mostly because that's cool, and also because her family moved from ireland to wherever the house is, probably america?? but i also want it to be england bc i know pg isnt set there but i know more about english history #sorry. it could just be ambiguous but england has some funky ghost ideas. ANYWAY still deciding if she dies from cancer or not i think probably but that makes it difficult for her to have died in a massive house like that (bc you stay wherever you die)?? bc she'd have probably died in her own home?? idk im thinking

tiffany is a lineworker (for telephone poles and stuff) from the 1890s who got electrocuted on the job (@/goatgeminipearl on twitter had the electrocution idea). she's wearing her uniform, jumpsuit and hat with lots of hooks and tools and harnesses and stuff attached to her belt, and big old safety gloves. her hair is tied back and she looks a little charred. i have some ideas for her ghostly powers! when erin arrives and installs a tv, she has no idea what the monitor does but sees the plugs like oh! i know what these cables do! and suddenly finds out she can appear through the wires in the tv screen, horror-movie style. kj screams. she could jumpscare people if she wanted. you feel that lightning storm sensation whenever she's near, and you feel static shocks if you accidentally pass through her

kj i'm not quite settled on. em on twitter had that one idea about a victorian au where kj is an aristocrat who hates being an aristocrat and she plans to run away with mac and it's cute as fuck, so that's an option. i really cannot decide on her death. she has the vibes of a really shakespearean death, like a poisoning or stabbing out of revenge. maybe she didnt want to marry some guy, or got assassinated just because of beef between families. i think she died in her room, and appears in her victorian pjs or something, being able to be seen in mirrors. or, to flip it completely, she was trying to kill someone else, like how she killed one of the three men in the comic, except maybe his friends got back at her this time. i like to think she was getting justice, or doing it to protect someone. maybe she had a secret gay thing going on like captain did, and when someone hurt the girl she loved, she sought revenge

anyway holy shit i wrote a lot sorry to anyone who went through the trouble of reading it all i love you. please please if you have any more ideas let me know!! i'm way too excited about this mwah

#paper girls #image comics #mackenzie coyle #kj brandman #erin tieng #tiffany quilkin #mac coyle #bbc ghosts #papergirls au

[amoosewritesfanfic]

One More Hit +18

[+18]

[I own none of the characters nor any art posted.]

[smut warnings: alcohol, sex, language, non-consensual, rough sex, mind break, degrading, light bondage]

[Bakugou Katsuki X Female Reader]

[Mafia Bakugou X Stripper Reader]

[Synopsis: You work at a strip club that is often frequented by a very well known mafia gang, they always had different girls every time, but it was one short almost always… but one day you were called into that room… it was an equal ratio of the dancers to the gangsters. You had no idea why, but the infamous Bakugou Katsuki chose you out of all the girls.]

─

In this bar the patrons got drunk fast, cheap drinks really have people excited, but the one thing they really pay for well was the girls, and fuck do they pay extremely well.

“C’mon Candy, I got more than usual tonight!~” you often get told as you worked the pole, before getting onto your knees so they could slip that large amount of money into your bra or in your thong.

You often gave them a little extra, touching every inch of your body to rile them up into them giving you more money.

Hell you even worked the pole as if it was their laps, moving up and down trailing your hands along your body and the pole.

And you were by far one of the most flexible girls in the entire club and you often showed that off, pulling your leg up high and even doing the splits working the floor too.

And on this night, the same mafia group walked in and asked for the usual amount for protection and ordered their girls for that night and as usual it looked like they were on girl short for the four men.

There was a red head who you’ve come to know as Kirishima, according to the girls he’s been with he’s gentle but always leaves little marks peppered on their skin.

There was another who had black hair, his name was Sero, he always was rough especially found of tying up his girls.

There was a yellow haired male who had a lightning mark on his hair, Denki… he was apparently found of having his girls do all the work.

But the final one… that final man with ash blonde hair and red coloured hues, he was a mystery, he was always just drinking at the bar talking to the bartender about business, but you noticed something odd, he went into the blue room.

Now within the blue room there were four other rooms just for the four of them to take girls into and fuck them senseless, of course they paid the girls very well so they never complained after all these girls are all trying to pay something off and you’re no different.

The ash blonde male… well he never ever used his room always saying he doesn’t need any girl to please him, well… that’s what you heard from the bartender, so seeing him follow his companions into the blue room you felt confused.

You finished off the last bit of your show and bid the patrons goodnight, but when you got to the changing room your ‘mother’ stopped you handing you a new set of clothes and she even told you to shower. You were confused, you never get called to the blue room, ever.

“Bakugou Katsuki wants you tonight. Don’t speak unless he gives you permission and give him the best service you can give, I don’t want to lose ya to that man.” Your ‘mother’ told you.

Of course, it took you a moment to figure who she was talking about, it was the ash blonde male with those piercing red eyes.

He wanted you…

Panic started to build up inside you, you never serviced any of the patrons in this way and the only reason this was happening was because well… You somehow caught the eye of one of the most infamous gangsters, he was dangerous and feared.

And he didn’t seem like the type to mess around with girls especially after everything you heard from the bartender.

Regardless you take a quick shower and reapply your make up, nothing too extravagant but not too little either, after you finish the makeup you slip into the outfit which consisted of one black laced bralette, a black thong with a green X in the front of it and it had a green outline on it.

It was accompanied by a pair of heeled knee-high combat boots and a pair of black thigh high stockings that hugged your thighs awfully well. Once you were done you made your way into the blue room, you were handed a tray with a bottle of the club’s finest whiskey and a crystal glass for the whiskey.

You knocked on the door lightly before you heard the voice of the male telling you to come in.

As you enter the room you are met by those bright red hues, trailing up and down your frame, you turned around to close the door which gave him a full few of your ass.

“Look at that. They even dressed you up for me just like a fucking present.” His voice before was muffled by the door, but hearing it now… it sent goosebumps along your skin.

“C’mere,” he motioned for you to approach him, which you did. Setting down the tray on the side table, because you couldn’t afford to drop the bottle.

“Smart choice Y/N.” Your heart dropped, when you heard your real name your body tensed up slightly, how did he know your name…?

None of the patrons no matter who they are should know any of the girl’s names.

“You scared of me Y/N? I mean it is only natural, a man who isn’t supposed to know your name…” a pause before he gripped your wrist and pulled you down into his lap, gripping your face so you could look at him.

“But I know everything princess.” He said smugly. “And I own you… since I own this club.” He growled as his hand wrapped around your throat, your breath hitched in your throat as his other hand started trailing along your body, stroking your skin in a sensual manner, it sent shivers up your spine and since you were straddling the male you could feel his arousal building up against your thigh.

“But I don’t have to have sex with you…” You said timidly, he had a gun and if you pissed him off he would most definitely shoot you. Laughter erupted from the ash blonde male.

“Baby, I could give a fuck less about your feelings, trust me by the end of this you’ll want me just as bad as I want your pretty little ass.” As he spoke, he gave your ass a firm smack which caused you to almost groan.

“Tough girl huh?” he hummed as he brought your face close to his so he could kiss you, but before his lips pressed to yours he spoke.

“That isn’t gonna last long princess, I’ll make sure I fuck that disobedience out of ya.”

With his lips now pressed against yours, you tried pulling back from him but his hand was squeezing the back of your neck forcing you to keep your lips against his, his hand trailed up your back before he groped your breast which earned a quiet muffled moan from you.

“Hmmn~” he hummed, pinching your nipple through your bralette which earned another muffled moan.

He broke this kiss trailing wet kisses along your jaw, his hand which rested on your neck moved up to grab a handful of your hair to pull your head back, trailing sloppy kisses along your neck before sucking on the skin, but as you tried to push him off his free hand which was tugging and pinching at your nipple immediately grabbed hold of your wrists pressing them to your back as he started leaving marks all over your neck and your chest.

“What a slutty body… No wonder all those men throw money at you.” He murmured against your skin before he bit your nipple over the bralette which caused you to gasp.

“N-no… please stop… I-… ah.” Before you could interject, he let go of your hair and grabbed you throat, pinning you down onto the couch, he was now in between your legs looking down at you with a smug look on his face.

“C’mon bitch, you gotta beg louder~ otherwise the big bad man is gonna fuck you silly.” As he spoke, he pulled out cable ties and tied your wrists to a pole that happened to be next to the couch.

You tried tugging them to get out but instead you felt them tighten around your wrists.

“Now let’s see more of that pretty body yeah?” he said as he raised his hand giving your cheek a firm smack causing you to whimper. His fingers trailed from your cheek, along your jaw and moved to your cleavage, his fingers leaving goosebumps.

The feeling made you squirm beneath him, it made him chuckle. With one hand teasing your nipple through your bralette the other hand slipped into his blazer pocket pulling out a pocket knife, your body tensed up and eyes widened as you looked between his face and the blade.

“Don’t worry princess, I won’t cut you… not unless you give me a reason to.” You felt the cold blade run along your skin causing you to whimper, he cut your bralette which instantly exposed your perky breasts, your face was flushed. You were use to people seeing your naked body, after all that was your job, but… with him it felt different, the way his hungry eyes stared at you as though you were prey sent shivers up your spine.

“Oh fuck princess what pretty tits.” He said as he groped both of them, squeezing the nipples before he smacked both of your breasts which caused you to whimper, you turned your head to look away from him.

His head dipped down, you felt his warm mouth take the erect nub into his mouth, his teeth tugging as his tongue flicked over it as his fingers pinched and tugged your other nipple, causing you to moan quietly, you’re hips almost bucking and you knew he was smiling from your reaction.

“What an honest body my slut has…~” he mumbled before he did the same to the other nipple. Once he was happy his tongue trailed down along your stomach causing your back to arch slightly.

“Let’s see what princess has going on down here…” he mumbled as he got face to face with that sweet spot, the blade trailing lightly against that spot, even bumping against your clit which caused you to moan again. “P-please not there… god please no not there… Katsuki…” He didn’t listen you your pleas, instead you felt him grip your panties, tugging them to press against your slick cunt making you whimper and gasp.

“Princess, your body really is fucking honest isn’t it? Your so wet for daddy~ I can’t believe it~” he teased. He cut the panty making you whimper again, nothing was hiding your wet pussy from his eyes, it made you flustered but your body was being too honest.

SNAP

He leaned in running his tongue along your wet folds, tasting your love juices, he almost moaned from the flavor, you couldn’t bite back from your own moans which escaped your lips, your back arched slightly at the feeling of his tongue flicking over your clit.

“What a sweet little cunt~” he cooed before sliding his tongue into you, his tongue swirling around your hole, pressing against every inch of your cunt.

“N-no… there…” you moaned pulling at the restraints his hand squeezing your thighs before he gave your ass a firm smack which caused your walls to tighten around his tongue this caused him to chuckle a little before pulling back.

SNAP

“My little bitch is so fucking eager to let me fuck her.” He said as he shifted remaining between your legs, his hands reached down and unzipped his trousers, pulling out his fully erect cock.

The sight of it… it scared you but it aroused you at the same time you didn’t know why.

“If you were a good slut and didn’t need to be tied up like a bitch in heat you would have enjoyed this so much better… I won’t lie… I really want to feel those soft hands tugging at my hair and leaving scratch marks all along my back as I fuck you senseless.” As he spoke, he rubbed his length against your soaked folds as means to lube himself up.

You couldn’t help but whimper at the sensation of his cock rubbing against you, he felt so big… was he gonna break you? It felt like he would break you with one thrust.

“Look at me kitten~” he cooed as his hand cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him, it caused you to whimper, but his expression was gentle which helped you relax you almost didn’t react to him slipping his tip inside you.

But with the size sliding into her hole it caused her to moan, her back arching slightly.

"Relax baby girl~" he cooed as he stroked your cheek, you whimpered quietly, but a moan soon followed as he gave one thrust, burying himself in the deepest parts of your pussy.

SNAP

It felt like your brain became mush in that moment.

You moaned out, he lifted your legs and pinned them up against your chest, it made his cock go deeper inside you.

"F-fuck...~♡" you moaned, your head tilting back slightly.

Your voice and body betrayed you, you were feeling nothing more than pleasure from his cock which started moving within you his hips moving back and forth.

"Look at you, I've barely started moving and you're a drooling mess~" he teased you giving your ass a few firm snacks before he really started moving, slamming his hips into yours.

Your moans had become louder every time he had hit your sweet spot, he would groan from the warmth of your hole.

"Jesus fuck... your pussy is so fucking tight... one would swear you're a virgin... but fuck tight pussies are the best... don't you think? I bet you love squeezing... my cock like this." He groaned as one hand smacked your ass before he put your legs on his shoulders.

"Fuck... I-its so deep.. I'm gonna cum... you're gonna make me cum...~♡" you moaned out.

"Yeah? Who's gonna make you cum princess hmm?" He growled slamming his hips harder against yours making your hips buck but soon your walls clamped down onto his cock.

"You... you daddy...~♡" you moaned out.

"Louder!" He said smacking your ass. He put your legs around his waist thrusting deeper into you as his hand wrapped around your throat.

"Y-you... daddy... fuck.. you... you're gonna make cum all over your cock!!" Your tone in moans had changed when his hand wrapped around your throat, but more so because you started cumming.

Squirting your love juices all over his cock and stomach.

"Look at that pretty pussy squirt... hmm baby girl, look at that slutty pussy~" he had the biggest grin on his face.

He pulled out and stood up, he watched your twitching legs and shaking body as you tried coming down from that high.

"Hmm I can't believe this after so long I can finally play with my pretty little toy~" he hummed.

Honestly at that moment you had no clue what he meant, you didn't think much of it.

You never did... you couldn't focus on it because of how much ecstasy he was putting you through.

He cut you loose and pulled you onto the ground, forcing you to kneel in front of him as he smacked your face, causing you to whimper, but somehow you managed to maintain eye contact with the male.

"Pretty princesses clean up after they made a mess~ c'mon princess clean up daddy's cock with that pretty little mouth~" he said taking a hand full of your hair and pulling your head back.

"Y-yes daddy...~" you answered plainly and then opened your mouth nice and wide for the male, he aligned himself with your mouth and thrusted himself inside.

You couldn't help but gag slightly, but as he started to thrust down your throat all you could was hollow out your cheeks, saliva dripping down your chin and onto your breasts.

Your mind was spinning you couldn't help but rub yourself as a means to get off from him fucking your throat.

"Oh look at that~ while choking on some cock you're busy fingering yourself~ how fucking cute~" he groaned feeling your tongue rub against his length, you whimpered as his pace quickened.

With two very hard and fast thrusts, he buried himself deep inside your throat and let out his thick load.

You had now choice but to swallow every drop, but somehow you were happy about it. Your body felt thrilled.

When he pulled out you whined quietly sitting on the floor like a dog waiting for its next meal.

"Look at that... my little bitch in heat... is so eager for me~" he mumbled running his finger along your cheek.

"I think we're gonna have so much fun from here on out~" he said giving your face a smack once again, it earned a small groan, but you didn't stop looking at him.

"Let's take ya home yeah?~ don't worry I'll send some to pick up your belongings... from now on your my little bitch do I make myself clear?"

"Yes daddy... yes... anything for you~♡" you said eagerly.

"Dance for daddy little bitch~" he said, zipping his pants back up and pouring himself a drink before sitting down on the couch.

Motioning the stripper pole in the middle of the room, and you did as asked, gave him a show. Moving your body so he could see the pussy he stretched abd the mouth he violated.

Hell he could even see the bite marks and hand prints.

"Oh daddy's gonna have so much fun with you little one~" he cooed.

─

That was the last night you ever went back to the club. There was no need because you had become the person plaything of Bakugou Katsuki.

─

─

[If you liked this I'll try and make a part 2? Just dm me or something if you want a part 2 :3]

Part 2a

Part 2b

Part 3

Part 4

#my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou smut #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #reader x my hero academia #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero academia #daddy #rough #mind break #mafia Bakugou Katsuki #lord explosion murder #ground zero #angry boi #sparky boom boom #katsuki x reader #mha bakugou katsuki #Kirishima #denki #sero #smut #hard smut

[anabe23bookwormstuff]

I. Fear and blood

(I played around with the ages because I wasn't sure how old Rey and Ben were, I just know for a fact that he is ten years older. Somewhere else I read that she was five when her parents left her on jakku and that Ben was 23 or 24 when he turned to the dark side so... in order forthings to work out I decided that... Rey is in this moment nine years old, soon to be ten. Ben is twenty and has recently joined Snoke, the other details will be told in the story  but about their ages I think  this is all. Thanks)

Exegol

Rey stood up, her grandfather had lifted her in the air and let her fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry" she said, having trouble breathing and clutching her body  as she stood up, tall, and looked her master.

"Don't say you're sorry, make it right!" he roared. This time some of the sith eternals were watching and clapped when Palpatine screamed.

Rey's eyes were burning but she couldn't allow herself to cry.

"Azam, Azam, Azam" they  chanted her name, again and again, making her more angry.

She concentrated once again, when she closed her eyes she felt a tear rolling down her cheek, and it raged her to be so weak. She extender her hand and with all of her anger and throbbing pain in her head she felt the big rock.

It's surface, it's weight and her force pulling it up.

She started sweating from the effort and panicked when a lightning flashed in front of her eyes, that last shot of fear was what helped her lift the rock and throw it away.

"Good, good!" Palpatine said.

"Silence! Azam, you've done well today. You can leave but you're to come back in two hours for your next task, understood?"  His grandfather lowered to look her straight in the eye.

He could see her sweat, even blood on her lips, maybe from when he smashed against the floor or because she had bit her lips during her concentration. He smiled. He felt hate, fear, rage, she was tired, all of this emotions coming from her.

His grandaugther would be the greatest Sith of all times.

"Yes, master" she responded.

Rey tried to ignore the shivers going up and down her spine as she walked to her room again. More like her own little cave on this horrible planet, and lit up a fire to warm her up.

At least here she knew there was no one else watching her.

She examined herself, today's bruises and was glad that at least this time she hadn't broken anything. She noticed that some blood had dripped on her shirt  and then felt the sting on her lips.

She got a glass of water and quickly cleaned her open lip, she would have to remember not to touch it for at least a week until it healed.

She sat on the floor and closed her eyes for a second.

"Come on!" she heard someone say. It was a man's voice she had never heard around here. She looked around her room with fear, only to find nothing.

Maybe she was imagining things again. It sometimes happened to her, those ecoes of things that weren't happening there, or flashes of images of somewhere far away... she wondered if she was crazy.

Elsewhere

"Kylo, run faster" Snoke's voice filled all the spaces.

He ran as fast as he could, leaving behind shadows of his past.

"Faster!" Snoke shouted and the ground beneath his feet shattered a little.

Kylo's feet hurt and he was drenched in sweat, he wasn't sure how long had he ran for but it felt like hours.

This wasn't a punishment, Snoke had told him earlier, this was something he had to do because he wanted him to be better.

To overcome his pain and use it as a strength.

"Can I rest... for a moment?" Kylo asked through gritted teeth.

"No, you must keep running"

But he felt like he couldn't, he'd breath the wrong way and now he coughed, unable to breath right and he had slowed down a little.

"Come on, don't be useless.!"

He composed himslf as he could and clenched his fists forcing himself to go faster and further.

"It was good, better than last week" Snoke said when he was finally allowed to stop.

Kylo could varely stand up.

"I'm glad, master." Kylo said, collapsing and trying to hide it by adopting a respectful stance. One knee on the floor and the other bent.

"Maybe one day you'll have proper condition. Now, move. Get yourself something to eat and finish your tasks before tomorrow" Snoke order.

The sudden warth Kylo had received from his master, former friend, was now gone.

He fell to his knees when Snoke was gone and allowed himself to let out his pain.

His feet were covered in blisters, some had exloded, stinging even more.

He felt like a failure, never able to reach his true potential, never able to please his master.

It wasn't the first time he felt like this, and it grgew even more and more everyday.

In the beginning he had  found trust in Snoke, a hope for a master who wouldn't turn his back on him and actually believed in him... but then, as his training started Snoke became more and more severe with him.

And in a sick way Kylo only wanted to gain his approval.

He retired to finish his tasks and after a very  long and exhausting day he was allowed to go to sleep.

He hated sleeping. At least for the past years... after the incident at Luke Skywalker's academy he almost always had the same dream.

Luke would come at night, to his room and try to kill him in his sleep with his lightsaber, then he would wake up covered in sweat and struggle to fall back asleep again.

He wanted to go back with the knights of Ren because they didn't sleep much, or even if they did they all had weird sleeping times and their noises would distract him enough to sleep well.

He read until he fall asleep and to his surprise he dreamed of a girl, again.

He had never been able to see her face, only hear her talk, or see her sitting somewhere, dark. Always dark and cold.

This time he saw her with a knife on her hand as she did something... he couldn't walk closer but after a moment he understood that the girl was carving something with the knife.

This dream quickly changed into a memory of him hurting Henix and he woke up startled.

"Like always" he mumbled, closing his eyes again and trying to calm down.

"Azam, finish writing it and then I'll tell you the surprise" His master instructed.

This was one of the lessons that Rey hated the most. The sith language had never been easy for her, at least now she had a decent writing but still... there were words that  confused her.

"Do you want me to read it?" she stood up and showed her grandfather her notebook, she was proud.

"Go ahead"

Rey  cleared her throath thearically and began.

"I Azam, follow the Sith code, which says:  Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken, the froce shall free me." she finished reading as Palpatine though about his young apprentice.

"Good"

"Graandfather... what is peace?" Rey asked after a moment.

"You don't have to wonder about such thing right now, Azam." he retorted.

He lowered himself a little to take her hand.

Nothing. Just curiosity. It was good  that this was as far as her mind was going.

He liked how easy it was to read her young mind, her feelings.

"I have a surprise for you ,Azam" he then said.

"What is it?" Rey would've jump with excitement but the last time she did she was punished and since that day she had learned to keep her reactions at bay.

"Would you like your own lightsaber?"  Palpatine asked, making Rey see a quick vision of herself wilding a bright red lightsaber.

"Yes, yes. Of course, only  if you think I'm ready" she added. She had trained with a quarterstaff before and his master always reminded her that one day she'll earn her lightsaber.

"You may be, but first. I want you to do one simple thing" the cables holding him up directed him backwards.

(So... what's coming it's definately child abuse, psychological abuse. In case you are triggered by this in any way I want to warn you. I feel terrible putting Rey through this, even Ben will have to face some abuse himself but...  the story needs it. I don't think it's okay in any level, I just think it gives them a background for how I want their minds to be at and the story to evolve. That's all, keep reading if you want.)

Rey waited patiently for her master to give her instructions. Her hands wanted to tangle on her long hair, which was now loose and would help her calm down a little but she knew she couldn't.

"Come here" he called.

She didn't hesitate.

"Open your hands and extend them"

She did and suddenly she felt something, a weight, little legs pressing against her palm.

Palpatine placed his hands over hers and closed them, leaving whatever he had put in her hands trapped inside.

Only then she started to feel panick.

"Kill it" he declared.

"What... why?" Rey identified the creature as one of the rats that  roamed around the planet.

"Kill. It" Palpatine's hands started to put pressure on hers, closing more around the rat.

"Wait... wait, pleas-"

"Are you trying to defy me?!" he questioned. A lightning revealed his raised eyebrow and empty eyes.

She shivered.

"No, master. But... master, is this ne-"

His hands went to her wrists and made pressure, faint lightnings started to appear on the tip of his fingers too. She started crying without being able to stop it.

"Azam!" she wanted to shout that her name wasn't even that.

"Please... please"  she couldn't let the rat go but she couldn't crush it either.

"Are you afraid?" he quuestioned.

"Yes!"

"Do you feel bad?"

"Yes!" her eyes were closed as she cried, the pressure on her wrists was hurting her and the animal on her hands had started scratching her,t rying to get away, hurting her too.

"Why? therer's nothing to feel bad about Azam. Do it!" his hands went back to hers.

"Wait! wait, please"  Azam was breathing heavy now.

"It's you or this animal!" he shouted. The animal was now bitting Rey's skin.

She wasn't sure that her grandfather would hurt her... but she couldn't trust it either.

"Come on!" he shouted  again and again to do it.

"I- I can't" she cried and only opened her eyes when she felt a slap across her face.

"You must be angry, you must hate me in this moment, and that hate is exactly what makes you strong. Stop caring about it! This stupid creatures life has nothing to do with you, it doesn't affect you. Your power lies upon using this fear and hate to do what I've asked of you." His voice was softer.

Rey thought about it, she closed her eyes and tried to clasp her hands together. The animal's cries intensified and a smile grew on Palpatine's face.

In the end... the girl was not ready to do it.

She threw the animal away, it hit the floor pretty hard, but she hadn't put enough strength to kill it and it started running away the moment it hit the ground, only to be burn in a second by Palpatine's lightning.

"Stupid girl" he spat at Rey.

"You've dissapointed me, Azam" as he came close to her Rey started crying again.

"Shut up. You need to learn to be strong, and today you've been weak. If you keep caring like this, you're never gonna allow the force to give yo true power. Go! and I hope that you think about your actions, because sooner or later, you'll pass this test." he retired and then she ran to her room.

She cleaned her wounds and noticed the bruises on her wrists. Her reflection on the small bathroom mirror was even worst than she imagined.

Her cheek was crimson red and the wound on her lip had opened again. Then she looked at her hands, they had stopped bleeding but the scratch and bite marks would be there for a while.

Her eyes were red from the tears and her nose was irritated.

In another place of the galaxy Kylo Ren found himself staring at his hands, for no reason, and a chill went down his spine.

"Hurry  up, boy" Snoke said noticing that Kylo had stopped walking.

"Yes, master" he kept walking and tried to shake off the sudden sadness that had came over him. It felt odd, out of place, not even like it came from him.

It distracted him the rest of he way to another place where Snoke was taking him to train.

#star wars #reylo fanfic #kylo ren #adam driver #adam driver fanfic

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - s3e6: hercules unwound

yeah it’s season three now. sorry. season 1 had sixty five episodes in it and season 2 had..... four. i don’t understand it either. but none of those episodes had mice, so i guess we’re here now!! (if i’m wrong, and they did have mice, feel free to get back to me, but i definitely didn’t see any mice on the wikipedia page.)

episode summary: inexplicably existing in ancient greece, the boys plan to steal zeus’ lightning bolt. which is the source of his powers, i guess? i don’t know. this episode makes no sense.

the rundown:

so here’s the thing.

they introduce ancient greece.

they introduce hercules.

they establish he’s a crybaby who has twelve (12) chores to do today, which... seems like an excessive amount of chores, sure, but he’s literally just rolling around on the floor and having a tantrum about it.

zeus gets pissed off and electrocutes him.

and then the warners show up. “i’m lost,” says wakko, “is that our cue?” they have no idea. they’re confused. i’m confused. this short has gone in like eight different directions since it started.

still, they potter down to where hercules is crying, introduce themselves (left; yakkoles, right; wakkonemnon)

(above, the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.)

and then dot goes and lays on the floor and decides she doesn’t want to do it.

“you wanna just skip this cartoon?”

“yeah.”

“alright, see ya, pal.”

and off they go, i guess.

that’s.... as accurately as i can summarise it. none of what happens there has anything to do with the mice or the future plot, so i’m just gonna skip past it, if that’s okay.

poor hercules. having to clean out the stables all by his lonesome.

meanwhile, after a sudden jumpcut, we see aristotle desperately trying to teach his class the source of zeus’ powers. it’s the lightning bolt, you goofs! the lightning bolt equals unlimited power!

none of them care.

good thing someone does! so we can get the review started already, christ. this is how they’re arranged at first, but it’s only for a couple of frames, so i’m highlighting it because it’s very funny! and also very easy to miss.

“we, pinkus, shall steal zeus’ lightning bolt, overthrow the kingdom, and

TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” good thing they managed to squeeze another closeup in there, huh. just can’t have an episode without them.

“but how do we get to the tippy-top of mount olympus, where zeus lives?”

“i have that figured out, pinkus. behold, across the street, the agean stables, where legendary, famed and godlike horse pegasus spends the day.”

calm down, brain. jesus. i thought pinky was the one with the Horse Thing. brain goes onto explain that every night, pegasus flies back to mount olympus,

okay.

and they’re just gonna hitch a ride. climb on his back without him noticing. steal the minivan, except the minivan is a flying horse.

so off they go to do that, i guess!

it immediately cuts to them being chased by cerberus, with a “run, pinky, run!” from brain, which is cute. his name is pinkus, in this interation, but brain calls him pinky for short. did the writers intend that to be cute? probably not. do i find it cute? absolutely.

it’s very peatb-esque. still, they outrun it eventually.

“in future, pinkus, let sleeping guard dogs lie. especially when one has three heads.”

“funny. the middle head seemed so friendly.”

honestly? the animation here is cute. and it kind of sucks that they gave the good animators whatever this episode is. is there something i’m not understanding? it’s just been completely threadbare random throughout. they always seem to give the good episodes to the guys who draw them weird. it’s upsetting.

but the stables are there, so off they go.

so while hercules cleans out the stable and whines about it,

medusa gives pegasus a makeover. she is just dying to braid his tail, for no extra charge. this would probably be a lot funnier if i knew who they were trying to make fun of, here? but it’s all good. (that’s one of the problems i have with this show, sadly. all these celebrities stopped being quite so famous literally before i was born. hoo hoo. i’m sure there are like, 30-40 year olds who appreciate the humour far more than i do.)

the mice have found their target. soon, they will strike.

“there he is, pinkus. in all his wing-ed glory.” he puts the stress on the “ed” and it’s uncomfortable. nobody says words like that, brain! or i guess he does? whatever.

so they climb this conveniently placed shovel, ready to jump right on! because, yknow, it’s right there.

except hercules decides that, yknow, he needs a bigger shovel to... clean out the stables with, and--

look. guys?

i have so much anxiety, okay? real talk for a sec. you see my head? nothing up there makes sense. this is why i run a cartoon mouse blog. one of the ways that manifests is in incredibly nervous coprophobia. i don’t like to talk about it. it makes things difficult for me. this episode makes things difficult for me. i barely made it through the stupid... garden of mindy. you don’t want to see this, i don’t want to see this, i do not want my comfort characters to have to deal with this, and i do not want to put myself through the heart attack of trying to transcribe it like the... bad children’s tv jokes bible. okay? i’m skipping this section because it doesn’t add anything and i’ve had enough.

hercules uses the shovel. the mice get dirty. presumably, between scenes, they go take a bath. let’s just say that happens. whatever. cartoon logic.

but nobody takes a bath without hercules’ sayso, so he decides to beat them to death. this is just the first frame i skipped to. i assume this is what’s happening.

i’m not enjoying this episode.

homeboy decimates a wheelbarrow. it has good faces, i’ll give it that. this episode has good faces. is it wang? why on earth would they give wang this bollocks.

“be gone, manure sprites!”

yeet.

thankfully there’s nothing weird in this barrel. it’s whatever medusa was doing pegasus’ pedicure with. dish washing liquid, i think? whatever that means. i’ll be honest, too many gross things have happened in this episode and i’m not sure i could handle anything e--

ah.

what.

thankfully, pegasus decides this is a good time to get the fuck out of dodge.

the mice agree.

hercules grabs bucket girl and also gets out of dodge.

that was weird and random and not needed.

but like, it’s fine. it’s good. they’re on the horse. the horse is flying directly towards mount olympus. yknow. it worked out.

conclusion:

as zeus mopes about his son’s work ethic, the mice get on with their own, tiny mouse jobs.

“upon that table, pinkus, is zeus’ mighty lightning bolt.”

“gee, i hope he has it charged up.”

with a LIGHTNING CABLE!! hoo hoo. hee. those were definitely not a thing when this came out.

brain doesn’t find it quite so funny, sadly, but he chooses to ignore it in favour of hustling his little mouse ass onto the table.

“all power is ours, pinkus. now to-- take over the world...”

bonk.

this is not the first time this has happened. (or maybe it is? chronologically? who knows.)

but oh no! zeus looks through his big old zeus telescope that he has and works out that the stables are worse than ever, actually, and hercules has no intention of cleaning them.

he’s off having a coffee break with medusa! typical. time to electrocute him.

so zeus reaches for his trusty lightning bolt.

pinky’s so chill about this. he’s just vibin.

yeet.

he just straight up throws the whole thing. does it respawn? y’all. i don’t get it.

“i sense the pivotal moment of failure quickly approaches.”

unfortunately - or perhaps it is forunate, depending on how you look at it - zeus just straight up misses.

the mice rebound.

aaaaand that can’t be good.

sploosh.

of course, whether or not this was zeus’ intention, the upshot is that the stables are nice and clean, finally.

so hopefully we never ever have to go through that again.

on the downside, the mice did drown, so i guess that’s the end of this blog.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 8

“as your reward, you get to marry a goddess.”

“the goddess of love? the goddess of beauty?”

“no!”

“the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.”

(so we iris out on child marriage. goodnight, everybody.)

#patb #a! #pinky and the brain #animaniacs #this review was not good. and for that i apologise. #i just didn't get this episode?? am i missing something? it just made no sense #but!!! we get the civil war tomorrow! which should be interesting C:

[softstarfire]

Secret Apprentice: Chapter 2

Hide and Seek

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3  - (AO3) (FFNET) 

Synopsis: Starfire is having trouble hiding things from her friends. As she tries her best to act as normal as she can, she starts to let some things slide and they all notice how weird she is acting. Things get worse after she gets a call from Slade in which he assigns her a mysterious mission. She flies to meet him, leaving her communicator back home. The Titans are confused when they find out she has left it and Robin is filled with guilt because he thinks it's his fault. When Starfire arrives to meet the masked villain she finds out she won't be going solo for this mission. Starfire and her partner are going to do something that she never ever imagined she'd do.

Almost a week had passed since Slade’s and Starfire’s agreement. She hadn’t heard from him and at this point she was getting really nervous. An idea popped into her mind as her team fought an alien invasion of tofu like people: she would go back home and deal with her sister herself if she didn’t hear from him until Saturday, the day that marked a week since they spoke. Since today was Friday, she had to tell him about this no-plan plan she had just come up with asap.

That evening she went home with her friends while her mind tried to find a way to contact him without raising any suspicion from her best friends. Lucky for her, the alien invasion had left a lot of homeless cows in the tower as the Titans called every place they could think of that would take them.

In the main area, her friends were busy calling every farm they could find in their data base. Beast Boy was trying his best to feed the cows and keep the space clean. Starfire stood there, in the back, just a couple of meters away from the main hall that took them to the dorms. She cleared her throat before speaking. “I shall call from my bed. I am most tired”, nobody answered. She stepped back and the automatic doors opened to let her in.

She flew back to her room. When she entered, she sat on her bed. The communicator was under her puff seat. She stared at the device for a while. She sighed, defeated. She had to tell him. So, she bent down and tried to get her hand under the seat. Suddenly her door opened. She fell to the floor, on her knees, pushing the puff seat. The seat fell too, covering the communicator but the photo stayed on the ground. Raven stepped in. “Are you okay?”, the empath asked. Starfire quickly took the photo and hid it inside her hand, turning it into a fist. “Yes, friend, I am well”. Raven nodded at her answer. “Robin said that we both should fly the cows to their new home”, Starfire looked through her window. “One cow at a time?”, she asked. Raven shook her head. “Cyborg has made a platform with chains so we can carry the whole thing with as many cows as we can fit in it. Are you in a hurry?”. Starfire knew that lying to Raven was not a good idea. Her powers allowed her to feel other people in a deeper way, she could notice that Starfire wasn’t telling her the truth. She could even get into her mind and find out about Slade. “Yes, I am. Robin has arranged a new course of training for me to do at sunrise. We have to hurry so I can get the most needed rest”. Raven started walking to the door. “I’ll wait for you at the rooftop”, the half demon walked out of Star’s room. The doors closed and the darkness filled the room again.

Suddenly, something vibrated and made a strange sound. She sat on the floor and picked up the communicator from under the puff. It was ringing. She heard Cyborg calling Robin and Beast Boy for help with the cows on the corridor. It got pretty noisy outside in a second as her team got the cows to the roof. She opened the communicator; there she saw Slade. “Starfire, the preparations are almost done. I need your help for something else. I will meet you tomorrow. I’ll send you the coordinates when the time comes for us to meet. Be ready”. She didn’t even have time to respond. The call ended and she quickly closed the device. Starfire hid it back where it was with the photo. As she walked to her door it opened again. It was Robin this time. “Star, we are ready for you to take the cows to a new farm”, she nodded and was about to past him when Robin quickly grabbed her hand. “Everything okay?”, the question came purely out of curiosity, but for the first time Starfire didn’t want to talk. So, she nodded once more and flew to the rooftop still holding his hand. “Star!”, was the last thing she heard. “Hey, Star! I can get there myself”, the boy wonder laughed a little bit.

She only let him go when they got to the top of the building. “What was that?”, he asked again as their friends secured the last details of the delivery. “Nothing”, she answered. “Sometimes I get lonely when I am flying by myself”, she smiled at him before hugging him. Her arms were around his shoulders. He put his around her waist. “I am always there with you”, he took a step back to point to the communicator that was attached to the belt on her skirt. The one marked with the T. “See?”, she stared at it blankly. “Star?”, Robin didn’t understand why all of a sudden Starfire looked so lost.

“We are ready!”, Beast Boy shouted. Starfire flew to one side of the platform without saying anything else to Robin. Cyborg had made a platform made of metal strong enough to hold 20 cows. Starfire took one chain and Raven the other. The chains were attached to both sides of the platform. They both lifted the whole thing and Beast Boy cheered. “Cy, you made it!”, the shape shifter yelled as the girls flew away. Robin looked at Starfire, she was acting weird. She didn’t make a comment on the cows, nor Cyborg’s last-minute creation. It wasn’t like her to just fly off on a mission without saying goodbye to her friends. Why was she acting like this?

The mission went well. Raven and Star couldn’t really talk. The cows were moving too much and they had to concentrate on getting them to their new home safely. When they came back, they were too tired to even say a word.

At sunrise, Robin waited for the Titans on their private training camp. The whole team gathered there to practice. The leader had created a new course with Cyborg’s help, and this was a very difficult one. Since Starfire asked Robin for help to get better, he started designing a new training program for the whole team. The team wasn’t complete. Starfire wasn’t there yet. She was in her room trying to hide Slade’s communicator in her regular outfit. She didn’t really know where to put it. In her belt, she carried the Titan’s communicator. She tried to disguise it there but a quick look at her and you could clearly see it. She looked at herself in a full body mirror, turning around again and again, trying to see if anyone would notice it if she clipped it to her glove, to her top, to her skirt. But anywhere she put it, everyone would see it. “Starfire?”, Robin called her name from behind the door. She let out a small gasp. Quickly she hid the communicator in the first place she could think of: inside her top. Since it was tightly closed around her neck and on her shoulders, she figured there was no way that thing could fall off. And it looked kind of weird, but she thought that no one would be brave enough to comment how it looked on her chest.

She flew to the door and received her best friend with a big smile. “Greetings, Robin! I wish you a good morning”, she hugged him for a second and flew her way out to the training site. Robin stayed there. He thought that it felt like if she was trying to act like herself, but she wasn't doing well.

The training was about to start. Beast Boy wanted to go first; he was still very excited after he saved the world from the tofu aliens. He jumped to the control center on the side, where Robin was standing behind the computers. “You go second, I think Starfire should go first!”, Robin said to the team, looking at Starfire with a playful smile on his face. The teenage alien flew to the starting point. She looked back at her teammates who cheered on her and then at Robin. “Ready, Star?”, he asked. She positioned herself on the starting line, eyes set on the finish line. Her eyes lit up as she nodded. “3, 2, 1, Go!”, Robin yelled and she flew as fast as she could.

Five rocks came from the ground and flew right her way. She immediately wrecked them apart with her green laser eye beams. Then she avoided fire balls thrown at her from both sides. Two very strong cables tried to pull her back to the start, trapping her arms and legs. She struggled for a second and then used her super strength to pop out of the one around her arms. When her hands were freed, she shot starbolts to the one around her legs. As she did that, lightning bolts started shooting at her. She avoided each and every one of them until she was just meters away from the end.

She turned around to find her teammates cheering her up from the sideline and in that same moment her chest vibrated. Slade was trying to reach her. Her eyes met with Raven’s. The half demon looked shocked. Starfire held her stare on her friend and then she moved her head down to see a small red light shining through her top. She couldn’t think about it for one second more because one lightning bolt shot her in the back and she fell to the ground on her hands and knees. Robin ran to her. “Starfire!”, everyone yelled as they went to check on her.

She lifted her head and looked at Raven again, she could tell the empath had seen something and as the fear filled her mind, she stood up. She looked at her friends for a second, backing off and then flew back to her room.

“Wow, she is not okay!”, Cyborg pointed out. “Dude! She has been acting off for a while now”, Beast Boy added. Robin listened to his team mates carefully, he noticed the same thing about Starfire: she was not acting like herself since the night that Slade got inside his head. “I‘ll talk to her”, the boy wonder walked away. “No! I will, I think I can help her”, Raven stopped him, putting her hand on the leader’s shoulder. “It’s just that we talked after what Slade did to me, so I think that maybe-”, he explained, Raven could feel how tense his body got. “Look, Starfire has been weird since then yes, but I feel like that is not the main reason why she is acting that weird. I felt it when we went to the farm, she avoided talking to me. She has used my powers before, she knows the more she says, the more I can sense when she is hiding something. And even thought she didn’t say much, I know she is”, Robin chuckled and shook his head. “You know Starfire is the most transparent person, she wouldn’t hide anything from us”, Raven just shrugged her shoulders and levitated her way to the alien’s room. Robin came after her, running as fast as he could. And when he got there, Raven was inside looking through the window. She was alone.

“Where is she?”, Robin asked. “I don’t know, Robin. I am telling you-”, Robin opened his communicator and pushed the call button. Raven’s lit up and made a sound but they both heard another communicator in the room. It sounded muted, like it was hidden. They both walked to the bed, Robin picked up one of the pillows and there it was, Starfire’s communicator. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Why would she leave it back here?”.

The rest of the team got there. “Something wrong?”, Cyborg asked. Beast Boy walked inside the room and immediately noticed Robin’s attitude. “She left her communicator”, Robin answered. “Why?”, Beast Boy sat next to the leader of the team. “You think she is in trouble?”, Cyborg asked. ��It’s my fault. When Slade poisoned my mind, I hurt her, she said that. She asked me to stop and I didn’t let go of her”, Robin’s shoulders relaxed, he looked at the communicator in his hand and he tried his best to stay calm, to keep it together. “Hey, you know Star is a strong girl. She will be okay. Maybe she just needed some time alone to think. Maybe she thought she was okay but today she felt like she wasn’t and that’s fine, she will be okay”, Raven sat on the floor in front of Robin. “Yeah, man, you know she likes to go to the mall, maybe she is there”, Cyborg added coming close to his teammates. “Or she went to get more mustard, you know she loves mustard”, Beast Boy said, trying to make Robin laugh and he succeeded. They all joked around for a while before getting back to training.

Meanwhile, Starfire flew through Jump City’s sky for a couple of minutes just in case. Then she looked at the screen on the communicator to get the coordinates. She had to go to the woods, the threes covered most of that was in the ground, so she used the coordinates to get to the right place. After a couple of minutes using her speed flying abilities, she found a lodge hidden in the middle of the woods. It looked modern and very mysterious even though the windows were almost as big as the ones on the Tower. If the coordinates were right, she was looking at Slade’s place. She flew down and stepped on the entrance. As soon as she got to the door it opened. She entered the house and the door closed after her. Slade was there in the entering hallway. “Hello, my child. I am glad you made it. You kept our secret, right?”, he asked as he guided her to the living room. She nodded and walked with him. The living room had an amazing view of the hidden paradise that surrounded the place. The furniture was elegant, everything was either black or made out of a dark wood that looked so sleek mixed with the darker color. It looked like one of those modern houses she saw on magazines.

“How was your flight? Did you find it easy to get here?”, he asked. “Yes, it is very hidden even from the top, but your message helped me get here with less difficulty”, she answered. As she talked, she could hear a door open inside the house, she heard steps approaching and then a familiar masked face appeared. “Oh, yes! I forgot to mention that you will be having a partner for this particular task”. Slade pointed out introducing her to the guy in the black uniform. “Hi, cutie! Time we had a date just for us, right?”, Red X spoke offering Star his hand. She crossed her arms around her chest as her eyes lit up.

“Calm down, child”, Slade put a hand on her left shoulder as he stood by her side. Her eyes went back to normal and she sighed. “Why must he be here? I can go to any mission you want by myself. I do not trust him”, Starfire stated firmly looking angrier than every time she fought Red X. “He knows just what he needs to know for this mission, and this is a task for two”, Slade walked away from the teenagers. He went to the living area and stopped in front of the big screen in the middle. As he touched the screen to reveal his plan to Starfire he explained: “You see, for this plan I need a distraction but a really good one. Red X has a very powerful suit that will make him almost unstoppable and the skills to trick anyone who gets in his way. While Red X is distracting the people, who will be protecting our target, you will get it out of that place. You know this place; it will be a piece of cake for you and Red X will join you for the great scape”. Red X sat on the big black L couch in front of the TV. “What place is it that you are talking about? And what is the target?”, Starfire got closer to Slade, standing beside him as she looked at the files he was opening. A couple more touches to the screen and a detailed plan with graphics appeared. In the center there was a picture of the Titans Tower. “You two are going to get the T-Ship out of the Tower”.

A/N: I loved Red X’s interaction with Star in the episode X, so I wanted to pay tribute to it by adding the word “cutie” into his dialogue. I love to play with the way he speaks, later you’ll see a lot more of him. 

Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy this episode <3 

Chapter 3 spoiler: Who is Red S?

#robstar #redx #starx #starfire #robin #dickkory #robstar ff #robstar fanfic #teen titans #teen titans 2003 #fanfiction #secretapprentice #writing #dickkory week #robstar week

[naitiaclo960writings]

Day 9 - Baby

Castiel had more or less experienced every natural or meteorological disaster on Earth. He had experienced showers, storms, tornadoes, snow, hail and even witnessed several volcanic eruptions or earthquakes. He had seen whole torrents ran down the streets of a city and its inhabitants moved by boat to help their neighbors. Although these events had been terrible for humans, Castiel had come to appreciate one thing: he did not undergo the weather. He could stay for hours in the rain without catching cold and not feeling the water drops pounding on his skull, and if he got wet, he just had to think about it to dry instantly. The tropical jungles or the ice floe didn’t bother him either way, the snow was boring only because it slowed him down, the sun did not burn his skin… Castiel really liked to stay in the middle of nature without moving and simply observe.

However, now that he had lost his grace and was feeling things, the weather had become an annoying factor to take into account, as well as food, sleep, pain or bladder relief. Castiel was currently in the middle of one of those big storms in Florida and he hated it.

His Continentale had broken down on the side of a long road that seemed to stretch for miles in front and behind him. Castiel sighed from his seat. He already had trouble understanding human needs, so he was far from understanding how to properly maintain his car. How many times did he have to call a tow truck, just because he forgot to put gas in the guts of his Continentale? Too many. But, with the heavy rain that was currently falling, no tow truck would want to make the trip to help him. The weather was so bad that no more than a few meters could be seen, the rain forming a thick haze of mist engulfing the surrounding landscape. The rain was falling on the asphalt in a deafening cacophony, erasing all the surrounding noises except for the thunderclaps that preceded the lightnings gasping the sky, illuminating the world for a brief second. Outside, everything was nothing but chaos and dampness.

Castiel sighed again. He really did not want to stay here, victim of a storm that was probably gone to last long. In addition, the meeting place which had been agreed with the Winchesters were only about twenty kilometers away and he would much prefer to rush into the heat of a motel room rather than stay in a car whose heating had stopped working. The rain outside considerably cooled the atmosphere and he gently moved his toes in his shoes to stretch them. His car just stopped and he had no idea why, again. He had already filled the tank last week, that should have been enough. No? He had no idea what a car’s fuel consumption was…

Looking up, he spent several minutes gathering his courage and decided to go out and examine the vehicle. Maybe, for once, he could take care of it by himself. He really needed to get out of here and find a safe place.

Castiel ends up pinching his lips and opening his door, throwing himself out like someone diving into a pool. Immediately, the rain hung on to his clothes and soaked his hair. The noise was even louder outside and he groped up to the hood of his car before opening it with difficulty, his fingers slipping on the wet metal. He spent several minutes observing the interior of the engine, regularly repelling strands of soaked hair that fell on his face. The water ran down on him and within a short time, he found himself as wet as if he had taken a fully clothed bath. Inside the Continentale were meters of colored cables and heaps of metal, intertwining without any logic to the man. Castiel bit the inside of his cheek, furious as himself. He had absolutely no idea about mechanics, why did he even think for a moment that he would be able to fix his car on his own? It seemed so simple when Dean did it, he had foolishly believed that it took two or three manipulations to improvise as a mechanic. Once again, the hunter’s talents was blindingly obvious to Castiel.

Closing the hood of the car in a thud that was swallowed by the storm, he hurried back inside the car, now soaked in water and crippled by cold. He knew what to do if he wanted to get out of this situation, but the prospect of asking for help again frustrated him. While wiping his face with a trembling hand, he plunged the second one into the pocket of his trench coat and took out his cell phone, wet as well. He was relieved to see that he was still functioning and scrolled through the list of his contacts.

He pressed the button and brought his phone to his ear. It was barely if he could hear the tones with the noisy rain outside. After the fourth ring, Dean picked up.

- "Hey Cas. Everything okay?" Immediately asked the hunter. "We’ve already made it.

- Dean?" Castiel called, raising his voice because of the rain doubling in intensity outside if it was still possible. "I’m stuck on the road. My car stopped and I don’t know why. I think that… do we have to put gas on every day? 'Cause I already filled the tank last week and-

- Cas? I can’t hear you, where are you?" Dean interrupted while raising his voice as well.

Castiel sighed and closed his eyes.

- "On the ninety-three, 22 kilometers from the motel. I am broken down." He confessed while remembering a sign he had passed earlier on the road before his car stopped.

Castiel heard a rustle in the phone and muffled voices. He reached out to try to understand what was going on, but could only hear the deafened intonations of Sam and Dean’s voices. When Dean resumed speaking in the mobile, it was to throw a "I’m on my way" to Castiel, then he hung up.

- "Dean?" He called, confused. Only the tone of the dead line replied.

He sighed once more. Great, not only did he have to admit his negligence of a simple thing, but now Dean was forced to come and get him like a child held by the hand. He threw his cell phone into the passenger seat, filled with frustration. There were times when he missed his grace more than others.

A good half-hour elapsed during which the rain did not lose its intensity and thunderstorms multiplied. Castiel simply stared at the few meters of road in front of him, his arms and head leaning on the steering wheel, ignoring as well as he could his clothes sticking to his skin and the chills on his back. Suddenly, he saw two luminous spheres materialized away and piercing the haze of water that spread before him. A minute later, the Impala’s tires were squeaking on the bitumen while its black body was parked behind him. A short horn blast echoed in the middle of the storm and Castiel did not wait another second in his Continentale. He opened his door again and confronted the tumult from the outside.

Dean had taken care to park as close as possible so that Castiel could easily reach him, but when he arrives at the door of the Impala, he was already soaked again. The significant creaking of Baby’s door rings out and the echo of the rain outside invades the small cabin. Castiel quickly slipped into the car and closed the door straight back, his hair pressed against his forehead and face defeated.

- "Well, son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed, looking at him with amazement, a light laugh shaking his voice. "You picked a good time to run out of gas Cas."

Castiel grunted back and shaken himself as best he could under Dean’s protests.

- "Hey, hey! I’d appreciate not to take a shower as well, and neither would Baby, thank you! Wait, come here…" Dean said, signaling him to approach.

Castiel bowed meekly to him and tilted his head to the side. Immediately, Dean’s fingers landed on the parts of his trench coat and began to hurry him to remove it. Castiel followed the movement with an interrogative look at the hunter, helping him to remove the coat.

- "You’re entirely soaked and I would like to avoid turning the car into a pool." Explained Dean, blushing slightly. "On top of that… You’re human now. You’re gonna get sick if you stay in wet clothes and that’s not what you want, trust me. On the other hand, don’t expect me to go back to the motel right now. We can barely see from 20 feet, so I guess we’ll have to stay here until the storm settles out. Man, I hate tropical climates." He mumbled, throwing the coat now curled up into a ball in the back seat.

As Castiel began to unbutton his shirt, as wet as the rest, he looked down. Dean obviously wasn’t particularly thrilled to have to come and picked him up, which he could understand. He hated the idea of being so dependent on the rest of the world when, before that, he would go around the world without a split seconde.

- "I’m sorry Dean…" He muttered, always looking at the buttons of his shirt. "I really don’t understand why my car stopped." And his voice sounded truly desperate.

Dean stopped his movements to take a surprised look at Castiel’s profile. Realizing that his words had no doubt been misinterpreted, he blushed a little more and looked down, his hands still needlessly reproducing Castiel’s movements. As if the man in front of him did not know how to undress himself. As if he could not keep himself from touching him. - "Nah, It’s okay." He shrugged and when Castiel looked at him, he smiled more softly. "It’s probably the gas, I looked at your car last weekend and I didn’t find anything suspect. We will go to a gas station when the storm has passed. Refueling is really a pain in the ass, I get it, it can happen. Oh, and take your pants off, too. I’ve got it all figured out."

Castiel tilted his head a little more. Dean did not give him time to ask questions and plunged under the seats in the back seat, searching for a few seconds before pulling out a large grey blanket. The Winchesters were often forced to sleep in the Impala — the vehicle being like a second home for them — so the car was full of necessities. In no time at all, Castiel found himself in his underwear and socks on the passenger seat while Dean wrapped him in the warmth of the blanket. He docilely let himself be pushed around, his astonished gaze not leaving Dean’s face, the hunter visibly embarrassed to be the center of so much attention but continuing to cover Castiel with meticulous attention anyway.

- "Here you go." Said Dean, giving a last pat on Castiel’s shoulder without taking his hand back.

A strange silence settled in the car during which their eyes hooked once more. The rain outside was still in full swing and the thunder was roaring in the distance. The Impala was there, braving alone the elements, constituting a warm bubble for the two fragile beings inside. It was a space almost out of time that protected them while Castiel let a small smile bloom on his face.

- "Thank you." He simply said, his gaze filled with a certain warmth that seemed to come directly from his chest and spreading gently in the rest of his body.

Dean made a gesture of the hand as if to say that it was nothing. Castiel relaxed considerably, unable to break eye contact and prevent this feeling of well-being from invading him, as if he has finally found his niche. He tightened the blanket against him a little more, and when Dean finally removed his hand from his shoulder — an awkward expression on his face and his gaze now fleeting — he caught him up with his fingertips. He decided to push his luck by intertwining their fingers and letting their hands rest on the seat of the Impala. Dean’s surprised expression turned into a softened face, but he didn’t say anything and just appreciated Castiel’s skin against his.

Dean ended up slipping a cassette tape into Baby’s audio player and they both listened to a classic rock compilation while waiting for the storm to pass, Castiel warming up gradually alongside Dean, their hands intertwined. At least they had their small universe to themselves until the sky cleared. * * * I really hesitated with a sexy car scene but, meh, here’s some fluffiness instead xD. Hope you enjoyed it! @winchester-reload

You can check my masterlist for the Suptober 2019 here

Tagging peoples cause why not :

@echooz @aliceollormusic @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @styggtroll @thanks-tacos @petrichoravellichor @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @ladywaywarddsc @hellfire37 @didnt-survive-twist-and-shout @destiel-221b-sabriel @aloha-cowgirl @alexia-kline-winchester @destielhoneybee @mylifeisbrulette @dysfunctional-destiel @ozonecologne @doofcas @castielrisingabove @zoerayne2426 @tibbinswrites @naomishamiga

#suptober2019 #suptober #inktober2019 #inktober #day 9 #Destiel #destiel fanfiction #Destiel fanfic #supernatural fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #fluff #dorks #baby #impala #suptoberart2019

[j--meat-hook--j]

UA Adventures: Taiyuu Bonus Round

The fight with Mya was about 2 days ago, for better or worse. After being introduced to some people from UA, Zeke couldn’t remember their names, Zeke went for a walk around the UA campus. A brown-haired student appeared next to him, a patch of grass disappearing under this new student. 

“So you’re one of the Taiyuu students right? I’m Hitomi Ba, what’s your name?” This new student was unusually chipper. 

“Zeke Funkee, nice to meet-.”

“Woaaah, you’ve got a weird accent. My Quirk’s Swap. I can swap positions with anything I can see, like I did with that grass there.” 

And very energetic.

“What’s your Quirk Zeke?”

“Umm, Electrokinesis. I can control electrci-” “Wooooaaaah, you can control electricity? You gotta show me. Here.”

Hitomi grabbed Zeke’s hand and ---Lurch---

The outside field was replaced with the inside dorms. And then across from the dorms, and then outside the gymnasium, and then inside the gymnasium. 

“Please stop, I think I’m gonna be -” Zeke said, doubling over.

“Sick? Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Happens to everyone on the first time. Whaddya waiting for go! Do it, do the thing, the thing you do, the electric thing you do. Go! 3,2,1! Go!” Hitomi ignored Zeke’s queasiness. 

“Bleuurh, huuuergh, beeeuuuuurhh.” Zeke dry heaved.

“Ah cmon, we don’t have all day, I’ve got places to be, things to do, people to see.”

‘Was this person always this intense?’

“Just give me a minute to recov-” Zeke started.

“Uuggghh, a whole minute? Hold on I’ll be right back.” Hitomi interrupted. Hitomi disappeared and a Witches Hat Cone appeared in his place. Zeke waited for nausea to pass hunched over with his hands on his knees. Taking a deep breath, Zeke stood up straight.

The Witches Hat Cone was replaced by Hitomi holding a bag of popcorn. 

“Well, you ready?” Hitomi asked excitedly.

“Ready for what?” Zeke was confused on why Hitomi was so interested.

“I dunno, do something flashy. Shoot some lightning!”

“I can’t produce or absorb electricity, I gotta have it with-.” 

“What’s your hero costume like? Has it got electricity in it? We’ll use that.”

‘We?’ 

“It’s the one with the car battery attached to it.”

“Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.”

Poof. A gym mat appeared where Hitomi was. Poof. Hitomi was holding “The Car Battery”.

“This the one?” Hitomi asked.

“Uh Yeah, now I just need something to shoot it at. I don’t wanna break anything-” 

“I know just the person!” Hitomi grabbed Zeke’s hand.

“Wait!”

Zeke’s world warped from inside the gym to outside the gym, onto an open field, into a building, into another building. 

The room was scattered about with different half made inventions, the buzzes of electricity were everywhere. It was almost overwhelming but Zeke didn’t tune a single one out. Not again. 

“We’re here!” Hitomi was very excited.

“Heurrgh, bleeuuuurghh, hnnnnghhh.” Zeke didn’t find it any easier the second time around.

“Hey Hatsune-sensei! Can we get Zeke here something to shoot at?”

“Aaaaahhh! One of the Taiyuu students! You just have to try one of my babies!” A very, very enthusiastic voice called out. 

‘Her what?’

A pink-haired woman seemed to jump out of the back room. Goggles covering her eyes. 

“I’ve got just the one that needs testing!” 

‘What?‘

Hatsune-sensei went digging around a pile of machines, pistons, lasers, screens, sprays, lose bolts and spare parts. 

“This one!” Hatsune-sensei exclaimed and pulled out… a Glove? The glove had a very dense buzz to it. Zeke, Hatsune and Hitomi had a very long conversation about the glove, the helmet Hitomi’s getting and how everything worked. 

Everything. It took 2 hours before either of them could get a word in. Even Hitomi was losing his enthusiasm. 

“We’ll just take this screw and be on our way!” Hitomi managed to find a screw in all this mess. 

“No I need that for a-” Hatsume-sensei called out.

Hitomi grabbed Zeke’s wrist and the surroundings changed from inside the support building to outside the support building to a grassy field, there was a lot of patches missing, to inside the gymnasium. 

“Huurrgh, bleuurgh.” Zeke doubled over clutching his stomach. 

“Feowf, I thought we’d never get away from her. Are you ready to do it now? Do you think you have it in you? Are you up for it? Do you have the guts?” Hitomi started to get his enthusiasm back.

“Are you challenging me?” Zeke asked, still holding his stomach.

“Yep!” 

“Place it down at the end of the gym.” Zeke said as he started to do some stretches. 

“Ohhhh yess!” With nothing to teleport to Hitomi ran to the end of the gym. 

“Do it, do it, do it, do it!” Hitomi was very hyped.

After the two fights from earlier this week, Zeke was feeling drained. The Car Battery wasn’t doing much better. 

“You ready for this?” Zeke was about to put on a show. He placed the battery on the floor and held the two cables by the handles. 

“Ohhhh yesss, lets goooo.” Hitomi said, taking cover behind Zeke.

A stream of lightning surged out of the two jumper cables. It was bright, it was loud. And It. Was. AWESOME. 

The screw was nothing but melted slag after a full two seconds of lightning was thrown at it. 

“YOOOOOOOO!!! That was so cool!” Hitomi said, doing a little jump in the air. 

“You should see the storm duo. They actually make lightning.” Zeke said stifling a yawn.

“I’m hungry, are you hungry, let's go eat. That talk with Hatsume got me peckish.” 

“Uhhh, do you have anywh-”

“I know the perfect spot.” Hitomi interrupted, grabbing Zeke’s wrist. 

“Wait!” Zeke interjected.

The world lurched to outside the gym, onto the grassy field, further into the grassy field, closer to the wall. 

“Blerruuughhh, heuuurrgghhh” Zeke wretched. Teleporting in such quick succession felt terrible.

The two were now face-to-face-to-face with the big wall with no way over.

“How’re weeuuuurggh, How’re we geuuuuuurugh, How’re we gonna get over the wall?” Zeke inquired, still woozy from the teleporting. 

“Well, it’s Quirk proof, completely flat, unclimbable and indestructible. But I’ve got a way around that.” Hitomi shot Zeke a smile and pulled out three golf balls from his pocket. Still holding Zeke’s wrist. 

“I hope you’re ready,” Hitomi said to Zeke before throwing a golf ball straight over the wall. He then threw up another, it reached just over the wall when.

LURCH

LURCH

Zeke and Hitomi were on the ground on the other side of the UA wall. 

“HNnnnnnnngghh” Pulling away from Hitomi, Zeke still felt a little queasy but it could be worse.

“Alright, let’s keep going.” Hitomi reached for Zeke's wrist.

“No! No more!  We’ll be doing this my way! The Leg Using Way!” Zeke said, pulling away. 

“Ok damn, it shouldn't be too far even on foot,” Hitomi said, backing off slightly. 

“What are we getting and which way is it?”

“We’re getting Takoyaki and its that-a-way,” Hitomi said, pointing. 

“Alrighty then, onwards!”

The two started their walk despite an awkward silence. They ended up talking about Heroes, Taiyuu and UA. UA had some more written exams than Taiyuu. How UA had more professional sponsors over Taiyuu and how UA students were expected to become very successful heroes. They were about halfway there when Hitomi’s phone went off. 

“That’s one of my friends, she wants to hang out. You good with that? she doesn’t go to UA.” Hitomi asked. 

“Uh, yeah, s-”

“Cool, I’ll just go pick her up. Meet you at the stall.” Hitomi interrupted.

“Sure, see y-” And Hitomi ported away, leaving a potted plant where he was. 

Continuing to follow the directions Hitomi gave him Zeke passed building after building. Zeke was starting to get near the shopping centre heard some clapping come from a sidestreet. 

“Hello, Zeke, nice to finally see you again.” A strangely familiar voice stated. Zeke followed the sound and saw that the stranger was deep into the sidestreet. Walking closer Zeke responded with a dejected,

“Hello?” Getting closer Zeke saw that the stranger was a man in a full suit with some sort of crown mask. A scared-looking girl around Zeke’s age was standing behind him standing perfectly still.

Adjusting his sunglasses Zeke walked closer towards the masked stranger. Zeke still couldn’t quite pinpoint why he seemed so familiar. 

“What are you doing with her?” Zeke pointed to the girl.

“This child is assisting me, I’m not so familiar around this area.” The stranger said, attempting to wave away any concerns. 

“Where are you headed? I can take you there.” Zeke said in an attempt to get the girl out of harm's way. 

“My destination has come to me, Kleiner Blitz.” The stranger said in an almost pitying tone. 

At the mention of his old nickname, Zeke stepped back in shock. Zeke finally knew where he recognised this person from.

“Schlaut, is that you?” His older brother smiled at the name. When did his smile get so creepy.

“When I’m wearing this mask you can call me The King.” Schalut said. Zeke thought The King was a  ridiculous name. 

“Please, let me go.” The girl said, she started crying. 

“Of course child, your volunteer work has come to an end.” With a wave of Schlaut’s hand, the girl collapsed. 

“Wha-” Zeke took a step forward. Schalit raised a hand to silence Zeke. 

“Photonic, return this child and bring Mephistopheles,” Schlaut said to no one in particular. A sphere of energy formed around Schlaut and the girl. After the energy disappeared someone new was standing in between Schlaut and the girl. This new woman, Photonic, gave a mock salute.

“Righty-o boss.” Photonic said, giving a small wave to Zeke when she was surrounded by the same ball of energy. The energy faded and Photonic and the girl disappeared.

“Well done Zeke, you’ve really made quite the impact on Taiyuu, showing up late and securing victory against that green child, I’m almost impressed. Although I am certainly surprised you didn’t enrol in UA, not that it matters now.” Zeke was confused about how Schlaut knew this. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly two years. Zeke didn’t even know if Schlaut was alive. 

“You’ve really grown, Kleiner Blitz, but I want to observe the peaks of your growth,” Schalut said, another ball of energy appeared with Photonic and a small skinny looking man. 

“Mephistopheles, get ready to test that young man and refrain from killing him,” Schlaut ordered the newcomer. The new man, Mephistopheles, seemed to hype himself up. He was bouncing on his toes and started slapping his face. 

Zeke reached into his pocket and pulled out 2 AA batteries. He formed a fist and held the batteries between his knuckles, creating a makeshift taser. Copying what he saw Senshi do, he readied himself into a flimsy battle stance. Zeke wasn’t used to being caught off guard and attacked in the streets. 

An animalistic scream of rage and the skinny man produced wings made of red energy and launched himself at Zeke. The blade dug into Zeke’s left shoulder and coming out the other side. A flash of blinding pain and a warm feeling encased his arm. Zeke shoved the two batteries against Mephistopheles’ face and forced some electricity out.

Mephistopheles’ face contorted in pain and the energy blade disappeared. Zeke avoided looking at his arm, the free-flowing warmth told him everything.  Another scream of rage and an energy club formed around Mephistopheles other hand, hitting Zeke in the ribs. 

Zeke was heavily winded after that hit. Moving back to put some distance between himself and Mephistopheles Zeke tried a last-ditch attack. He threw the AA batteries at Mephistopheles, grabbed a hold of the buzzes with is Quirk and…

Super Move: Battery Bomb!

He forced all the electricity inside the batteries, outside the batteries all at once, creating 2 small explosions in Mephistopheles’ face. 

‘Surely that must have got him.’ When the dust cleared Zeke saw that his bombs did, absolutely nothing. Mephistopheles had created a helmet made of that red energy, protecting himself from the explosions. 

With a roar, Mephistopheles crash tackled Zeke to the ground. Spinning him around so that Zeke was face down on the ground. The impact made Zeke cough up some blood. 

Mephistopheles formed another energy blade around his hand, pointed it at Zekes back and went to thrust.

“Enough!” Schalut commanded. Mephistopheles froze at the order. The energy blade and wings disappearing. Zeke felt his wounds closing, healing. 

“You’re lucky I can heal him Mephistopheles or I would have you hung.” Schlaut said, almost too calmly.

 ‘He never said anything like that back home, what happened to him?’ Zeke thought.

“What are you doing Schlaut?” Zeke asked in a panic. His brother never would have done anything like this.

“I’m exciting your cells to heal you, similar to what that green child does. You may have a small scar, however.“ 

“How do you know about any of this? We haven’t seen each other in years.”

“I understand that you’re confused about how I have acquired the knowledge of your recent life. Did you really believe I’d leave you alone and unprotected Zeke?  Allow me to introduce to you The Fool, although, it’s already well aware of you. I’m disappointed you didn’t notice it after all this time but I can’t say I’m surprised.” 

Out of the corner of Zeke’s eye, he finally spotted something, spotted IT. The thing in the corner of his eye, the breath on the back of his neck, the feeling of being watched.

The Fool. 

“The Fool’s Quirk is ‘Unnoticeable’. As long as it's active none of your five senses can even acknowledge its there. One could spend their entire life watched without an inkling of knowledge of its existence“ Schlaut explained. 

Schlaut walked over to his restrained brother. His creepy smile only getting larger. Squatting down to get closer to eye level Schlaut’s face dropped. 

“You really can hold your own in a one-on-one. But this is the real world. You’re weak Zeke, you couldn’t even stop someone as low life as those two and you can’t stop Mephistopheles now. But that’s okay, I’ll give you that strength.” Schlaut offered. 

With a slight pause, Schalut placed his hand on top of Zeke’s head, ruffling his hair. 

“Brain’s are difficult, Quirks are even more complicated. But after all this time I know your Neuromap like the back of my hand. I picked up all of my techniques from you as shameful as that is. Shutting down, redirecting, slowing down, creating, and of course, Overcharging.” Schlaut continued. 

Zeke watched his brothers’ eyes glow a deep red as Zeke felt his own eyes glow a rich blue. His electro-sense was being not only activated but pushed, pushed further than ever before. He was starting to sense electrical signals from even further away.

Zeke’s senses were being pushed to the limit, he had no choice but to look deep, deeper than he ever thought possible. Zeke felt it all. He felt the buzzes in Schlauts mask, the felt the very pixels in the TV 40 metres away, he felt the buzzes in the power socket, he felt the buzzes in the wires. He felt the buzzes in himself, he felt the buzzes in Schlaut. 

Zeke was starting to lose feeling in his feet.

“No Being is immune to the peaks and valleys of life as the strong struggle to survive. One succeeds while the other fails, but with my power, one can gaze upon life's pitfalls in all their glory. Sidestepping them becomes but a chore and life becomes a succession of triumphs. A state of personal perfection, and truly how could it not?” Schlaut, no, The King declared. 

Even then the buzzes wouldn’t stop, they only got clearer and clearer, more distinct and harder to ignore. 

Zeke realised, these buzzes, weren’t buzzes but out of focus circles and squares. Circles and Squares Zeke could now see, now understand. Nothing would ever be the same!

He didn’t even realise when the glow of his eyes started to blind him. 

In old books of cosmic horror, the author describes the monster as unknowable, something the human mind cannot comprehend. Zeke felt things the human mind should not understand. Zeke felt it all, the tiniest of circles, every Nucleus, every Proton, every Electron, every Photon. 

He could sense squares, squares so large they dwarfed the tiny circles, they even dwarfed the buzzes. He felt it all, every radio wave, every wave of UV radiation, he could sense the pull of earth's very magnetism. 

It would be bearable if everything wasn’t in such horrific clarity. 

Zeke was unsure when he lost consciousness. 

When Zeke woke up he was lying in a bed with a tube down his throat, alone. Panicking he struggled to pull it out, the tube seemingly went on forever. Coughing, Zeke heard a rhythmic beeping again, seemingly in time with his heartbeat. Cracking open his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever, Zeke couldn’t focus on anything in particular. 

Where am I?

Why am I here? What time is it?

Where is everyone?

‘Why is everything so blurry?’ 

#taiyuu oct #Zeke Funkee #my hero academia

[chromecutie]

Not A Ghost - part 28

A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvelhead17 @rovvboat @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ @master-sass-blast ​ @mori-fandom @mooleche @dandyqueen @emberbent @leo-writer . Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

-------------------------------------

It was the dream she’d had so many times. The details changed, but the bones of it were always the same. Rhonda Reese was eleven years old again. The Louisiana summer was hot, full of mosquito bites and the screaming of cicadas. The air conditioning had been broken for two days, and it was less miserable to be outside than inside, but not by much. 

She ate a popsicle while she played with a boy. Sometimes it was chocolate pudding, sometimes other foods, but this time was a popsicle, just like the first time. He was her brother, and he was annoying, the way most little brothers are. What was his name? Daniel. Of course. How could she have forgotten? He had sandy hair and dark eyes, but the rest of his face was never clear anymore.

On the hot driveway and with hotter tempers, playing became fighting as little Daniel antagonized her. He pushed her buttons for the umpteenth time and provoked young Rhonda to such an anger that she’d never felt before. She yelled and stomped her feet, as she always did, and shoved him hard with her palms on his chest. As she did, a bright shock of electricity like pale green lightning left her hands and hit him. 

The boy, her brother, fell to the ground, shaking. Rhonda screamed, screamed for help, and screamed more. Her mother called for an ambulance and the family rushed to the hospital. Sometimes, Daniel collapsed in a charred, smoking heap or matched Rhonda’s anger and sent her shock back to her, but this time was just like when it had really happened.

In the waiting room, Rhonda cried in horror of what she’d done. She didn’t know how she did it, but it had definitely been her fault. She couldn’t get the image of her brother shaking on the ground out of her mind. Her parents wouldn’t look at her. They barely spoke to her. They wouldn’t let her see her brother. 

She cried and waited and cried, alone in the waiting area while her parents stayed with Daniel. An older man who used a wheelchair approached her with a kind smile and called her by name. He told her she was different and special, and though something scary had just happened, he could help her avoid doing something like that again. He promised her the love of her life and sausage casserole - that wasn’t right. In reality, he had promised a school where she would make friends, teachers who cared about her doing well, and would help her be unafraid of herself. The sausage casserole and love of her life had come later.

She wiped her nose, dried her eyes on a handkerchief the man had offered her. Rhonda didn’t know how the things he promised could be possible, but she was desperate for some comfort. “But what about my parents, sir? And my brother?” she asked.

His expression was warm, but there was an edge of sadness in his eyes. “You can call me Professor Xavier,” he said, “Or Charles. I will talk with your parents, but only if you want to come with me.”

Rhonda’s dark brown eyes were large, round, and overly glossy with tears as she nodded. Professor Xavier headed down the hallway to the room where the rest of the Reese family was. Moments later, he returned and held out his hand to lead the teary-eyed girl with him.

Sometimes, the dream showed Rhonda what things could have been - her parents visiting the school, her brother joining her there. Other times, the dream was much darker, like all the times her parents had shown up to the school in DMC uniforms, dragging her out of the house screaming. But the facts were: Rhonda came to love her new school and call it home, but her parents never visited, never called, and Rhonda never went home. She had never even heard if her brother lived.

--

Rhonda stirred when she felt something cool and damp on her face. She felt something around her that was warm, but unyielding. “Hey, honey,” she mumbled through a pounding headache, not yet opening her eyes.

“There she is,” crooned Piotr’s deep, soothing voice, lifting a washcloth off her face. “We were getting worried. Can you stand?”

Frowning and slowly shaking her head, Rhonda woke up a little more before she recognized the fuzzy feeling dulling her senses and the uncomfortable weight around her neck. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up so fast that Piotr only moved just in time to avoid her clipping her head on his chin. 

They were in a shabby motel room, lying on a bed with Rhonda nestled in Piotr's lap. There were drab orange and gold curtains over the window, dense enough that it was impossible to tell if it was day or night. Overwhelmed with confusion, Rhonda swished her way around the bedspread, looking around at her husband, the window, and the closed door. All her questions condensed into a raspy, “Where’s the DMC?”

Carefully, as though he were trying not to scare away a tiny bird, Piotr took her hands and said quietly, “They’re not here, but they will be soon. Sladkaya, there isn’t much time.”

Rhonda took deep breaths, a little too fast. “Okay,” she huffed in a whisper like wind blasting through a tin can, “okay. How are we getting this off?” She pulled one hand out of Piotr’s grip to tug at the collar. 

He hesitated. He briefly looked away, clenching his jaw. When he looked back at her, his brows were pinched and his lip twitched. 

“What?” She knew, deep down.

“Rhonda,” he sighed, “If we try to remove it ourselves, it could detonate. We can’t risk it.” He glanced at the door.

“What are you saying?” her blood turned to ice.

“The safest way is to get hard tokens from Icebox…” he gently squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of her palm.

“So we’re breaking in?”

“Yes, after we learn more about it, but…” he swallowed, “It will be easier if we have someone inside.”

She looked at him with horror and hurt, even betrayal, “You’re telling me to...go back?” Her breathing grew heavy and hot tears stung her eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

Everything in him screamed what a mistake it was to even ask. “Cable has good plan,” he assured her, “If what that guard said is true, someone needs to go in there and get hard tokens. None of us know Icebox as well as you. If you can steal hard tokens, and we break through the walls from outside, we can get your collar off, get you out, and expose DMC’s corruption.”

Rhonda struggled to get her breathing under control enough to speak. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, cutting out if she reached higher pitches. She shook her head. “So you’re not even gonna try to get the collar off?”

“Rhonda, it could blow your head off!” he made a frustrated noise. 

“I’ll take that risk! Can’t you contain the blast with your hands? How big could the yield be?” She tried to turn the collar and feel the block that housed the keypad and explosive. “You could get your hand in here.”

“Not without strangling you,” he grumbled. He reached to pull her closer, but she edged away and off the bed. 

Her shoulders low, brows set harder than Piotr’s skin, Rhonda snapped, “I would rather get my head blown off than go back in there. Piotr, if that’s the plan,” she smeared away her tears and said with bitter finality, “I would rather die here. At least I’d be with you and not in a freezing cold shit-hole.” She swallowed around the huge lump in her throat and tried to speak calmly, but her voice was so damaged from screaming. “Don’t put me in that casket, I wanna be cremated. Do whatever with the ashes.”

It was roughly the reaction he expected, but it was another thing entirely to hear his wife all but ask him to kill her out of mercy, and he hated himself for it. He hated himself for asking his wife to go back to hell because he couldn’t find another option. But this couldn’t be the end for them, for her.

There was a little beep and the door opened; Wade stepped into the room and said, “Yeah, these walls are paper thin and Silver Cinnamon Roll here is fucking up this whole pitch.” He smacked Colossus on the shoulder, “Give us the room for a minute. Go stand in the hall and think of how you couldn’t sell weed to Snoop Dogg if your life depended on it.”

Frustrated and disgusted with himself, Piotr stood from the bed and glanced at his wife, which she returned with a stony glare. He sighed and quietly closed the door behind him.

“Anyhoo,” Wade said with entirely too much excitement in his voice. “You’re a prime candidate for the Revenge Arc Club now, Mrs. Colossus.” He booped her nose and she looked like she would bite off the next thing that touched her. “I heard some stories about you in the Icebox, and if half of them are true--shit, if any of them are true, you’re tough enough and smart enough for this. I’ve known Marines and Navy Seals who weren’t as tough as you!”

“I doubt that,” she growled under her breath, eyes narrowed.

He laughed, “Your Cable impression’s getting really good! Furthermore, if Colossus knows where you are, there’s not a fucking thing in this world that will keep him from getting to you.” He plopped himself onto the bed like a kid at a sleepover. “If it was me, well, he’d let me sit in the Icebox awhile as a fancy time-out to think about what I’ve done. Actually, he has done that. But not you.” Wade waggled his finger. “You wait, he’ll crash through the wall like a big, sexy, Kool-Aid Man.”

Rhonda was silent. She didn’t doubt her husband would come for her, but knowing what he would see, what he would learn about her, she couldn’t imagine a world where he would still want to take her home after that. She sank onto the edge of the bed.

“Aaaand,” Wade drawled as if he was about to promise a child extra cherries on their ice cream, “I’m going in with you.” He paused for dramatic effect, watching Rhonda’s furrow twitch. He sobered. “Colossus wanted to go in with you, but I had to veto that. Hard pass,” he nodded conspiratorially, “You and I both know the first person he says privet to would stab him right in the liver.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head, hopeless, “He wouldn’t last through lunch, before twenty guys jumped him.”

“You and me, though,” Wade continued, “we’ll be a good team. We know what it takes to survive in there. When push comes to shove, I know you’ll do whatever fucked up shit it takes to get the job done, and not lecture me about playing nice with the other kids and getting on the honor roll.” 

As upset as she was, Rhonda’s scowl deepened.

Wade pulled off his red mask, and he gave a subdued smile. “Besides...Guestbook,” he traced one of the visible Xs on her right forearm, where most of the zhostovo painting from that morning had scraped or peeled away. “Good chance for you to get some payback.”

She stiffened at the name, but instead of hitting him, she wilted. “There’s really no other way, is there?”

He held up his right hand, pinkie extended. “I pinkie swear, we’ll get out.”

Rhonda held up her right hand, to remind him she had no pinkie there, and vehemently lifted her middle finger instead. 

Wade shrugged. “Not to hard-sell, but Juggernaut can only buy us so much time, and the DMC will be here anywhere from twenty minutes to a few hours, so…”

She arched a brow in disbelief, “Cain? How’d you get him to help? I thought he ran off with Mystique.”

“Caaaiiin, so chummy!” Wade scoffed. “Well, the blue meanie drove off without him when shit hit the fan. When Cable found the collars have tracking chips, your buddy Caaaiiiin grabbed a few layin’ around and said he’ll throw off the DMC’s trail. How did you get him to like you so much? He literally ripped me in half, and I love him! You give him an insanely good blowjob or something?”

She blinked and gave an emphatic, “No. He...he always made it sound like he’d shred me limb from limb if he ever got the chance.” She shook her head. 

Wade stretched his shoulders. “So? The plan? You and me in, Cable and Colossus bust us out. Maybe Caaaiiin helps. They’ll probably bring on Domino and the lesbians as backup--ooh, that would be a great band! You on board or is the DMC gonna make that choice for you when they catch us at this hotel?”

Rhonda stared at her new wedding band, twisting the faux-brozne silicone on her finger before slowly slipping it off. Her heart felt like a lump of lead in her chest, cold and misshapen. She sighed with heartbroken resignation, “Let’s go,” and rose from the bed, clutching her bruised ribs for just a second before standing straight.  

In the hallway, Piotr leaned against the wall with his face in his hands. The door opened and he snapped straight to see Rhonda emerging with Wade behind her. Her expression was the same hardened inmate scowl she’d had when she first arrived home a few months ago. He had hoped she would never look like that again, and seeing it now twisted the knife in his gut like nothing else. He reached to touch her shoulder, “Rhonda, I--”

She grabbed his hand and pressed her ring into his palm. “Hold onto this.” She barely met his eyes for a second before she dropped her gaze again.

He looked down at the ring in his hand, confused, but before he could say a word, she strode down the hall, Wade on her heels, and snapped over her shoulder, “And you better not bring the girls anywhere near the Icebox.”

#piotr rasputin x oc #colossus x oc #not a ghost #colossus #deadpool #piotr rasputin #xmen #mutants #marvel #fanfic #longfic #angst

[midnightcalibration]

Merry Bobunk Christmas!

What: Short Fanfiction

Fandom: Avengers

Characters: Read the tags for the list.

Why: ‘Cos me and a friend of mine came up with the idea of giving a Christmas role to each avenger, and I decided to write this.

Words: Almost 1800 according to my text editor.

Quality: Probably with a lot of typos and awful grammar.

Stupidity level: High (I hope).

---------------------------------------

Tony is coming back to his workshop to continue one of his most important projects of the year. He hadn't slept since whenever the last time was, but who needs sleep when you've got coffee? He pities those who can't drink the miraculous brew.

As he enters the room the first thing he notices is DUM-E fighting against the cables of some Christmas lights. The lights are winning... Oh! Now U is trying to help his brother, that's nice. Aaaand now he's stuck too. Tony can't believe he won a prize for one of those things.

"Dum-E, U, stop destroying my delicate work, if you please."

Sparks jump out of the lights.

"You know those lights are supposed to last, not turn into fireworks. Sto- Ah- great! The workshop is on fire. Congratulations! Now it would be a good time to use your skills with the fire extinguisher, Dum-E," Tony says as he grabs said object himself, "Though I'm not sure you would still point it at me, instead of the fire..."

After putting the fire out and helping his not so intelligent bots, he gets back to work. He is just a little bit tired, but he has to finish it in time.

Last years had been chaotic. He never had time to properly put on a good Christmas decoration show for everybody. It's not like he is a traditionalist, or even believes in Christmas. For him, it is a time where people start to compete to see who has the best circus in town. And he, as the Stark he is, cannot just let it pass. He is the greatest showman there is. Sorry, Hugh Jackman, not sorry.

Has he hears the "bing" of the elevator sound he looks in its direction and sees the best two presents he is lucky to have in his life. Pepper is holding Morgan's hand while the little pea giggles as she skips and pulls her mother with her. Only when they got closer he notices something is odd. They are wearing costumes.

"What do we have here?" Tony asks. "An elf munchkin coming straight from Santa's workshop? And she's bringing with her a..." what is Pep supposed to be? "Gingerbread woman? Seriously?" He snorts. "Is it because of your hair?"

"Well, this Santa's little helper here thought you might need a sweet cookie to help you work," Pepper replies.

"Ok," he snorts again, "that sounds like something you would never say."

"Well, I didn't say it, Miss M. did."

Another "bing" echoes in the air and Peter comes out rushing and talking non-stop, "Oh, So sorry I am late Mr. Stark, I had to help like half of the people I saw when coming here as well as save like seven cats from trees and woah I even found a goat on one, Did you know goats climb trees? It's amazing, I mean I knew that already but I never thought I would see one in New York, And-"

"Calm down, Speedy Gonzalez! Have you ever heard about punctuation? And, I don't know, breathing?" Tony sasses before noticing Peter is also wearing an elf costume. "Did you go around saving old ladies from crosswalks in that?"

"Oh this?" Peter looks at himself, "I wasn't sure what to dress as but then Morgan told me she needed an elf brother and I was happy to be hers!"

Okay. That makes sense, Tony guesses.

"Has the party already started?"

Tony jerks his head and sees Rhodey, in a ridiculous candy cane suit. Like, seriously, what is going on? Why is platypus wearing that colorful, er-, thing, where only his face is visible?

"What's up, honey bear? Did you get abducted by aliens, where they did all these terrible things to you, and now you have a nineteen year old college student clown soul trapped in your body? Come on, Rho-rho, you can do it! You can win the fight for the right of control. Now really, what party?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Tones," Rhodey says with a fake laugh. "I hope you haven't forgot that today is Bobunk day."

The fu-?

"Bobunk is my favorite!" Morgan almost squeals. "It's what makes Christmas magical."

"It sure is, honey," Pepper agrees and Peter nods. OK, maybe he drank too much coffee. Or not enough!

He turns to his desk to get his mug so he can wash down the brown liquid. It is then he notices two big present boxes near the wall, that were not there before.

"Who the hell put that there?"

"Boss, you should mind your language! Morgan has ears." FRIDAY spoke.

"Sorry honey bee," Tony says trying to ignore that the sentence "has ears" was a bit odd, in the context. Like, it is true, but perhaps not the best way to put it. Maybe he needs to check FRIDAYS NL program, and see if she's not trying to learn her vocabulary from websites where people forget the difference between "they're", "their" and "there". Anyway, the presents! What are they doing there?

As he approaches the packages, they "explode" with a loud pop revealing Nat and Clint smiling from ear to ear, with present bows in their heads, dressed in wrapping paper, and shouting "SURPRISE! MERRY BOBUNK CHRISTMAS!!!"

Okay, now he is sure they are trying to troll him. He gets it, he deserves it for all the times he did the same. It was never at this level of crazy, though. He would keep it to wit and sarcasm.

*knock, knock, knock*

The sound came from the balcony glass doors. It is dark outside and Tony can't see anyone. And who would enter through the balcony? Except for him, of course? He purposefully ignored it.

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*

He looks again. Nothing. He resists the urge to ignore it again, but then whoever is outside is probably freezing. And they are just pranking him in a weird way, they don't deserve to turn into ice cubes, right?

When he opens the door, he sees a snowman. Dressed. As. Captain. America.

"Ahah, joke is on you! This is more of a jab to Capsicle, not me."

"What are you talking about, Tony?" The voice sounds so much like Steve's. Where the- "Holy shit!"

"Language!"

The effing snowman is speaking. IT. IS. SPEAKING! Like, it is not Rogers dressed as a snowman. It is a effing snowman, like a real one.

"How are you doing it?" Tony is still perplexed. And not even sure he can believe Olaf here actually had enough humor in him to be passing as a snowman.

"Doing what, Tony?" the freaking snowman actually frowned.

"Make it so realistic?"

"Tony, do you always need to be so rude?"

"Wha-" *CLASH*

Tony rushes inside to see what has been broken. He hopes it wasn't anything related with his Christmas project.

He stops. Thor is there, blinking. Not with his eyes, no. He is lighting on and off in several spots. You know.... like Christmas lights!!! And he is fighting is bots!

"I challengeth thee to fight me with honor, arms of metall. Thee shalt learn the warth of the mightie lightning!"

"Pepper! Pepper Ann!" Tony calls.

"What is it, Tony?"

"What is happening? Please tell me you are seeing how weird this is. I'm not going crazy, right? I don't do crazy."

"What are you talking about?" she smiles, "You are always crazy. Come! Let's see the nativity scene."

"We don't have a nativity scene, Pepsy Pep."

Pepper chuckles as she points to two new figures. Yep! He gives up. Yep, yep. For the good of his sanity, he's going to pretend everything is normal.

Wanda is dressed as Virgin Mary, and is hugging(?) Vision who seems to be wrapped in a big blanket, and very naked under it.

"Hey there, Mary, baby Jesus." Tony acknowledges. "Where is Joseph?"

Vision replied with baby cries. Totally normal.

"I'm a single mother."

"Oh yes, of course you are. Sorry for the assumption."

"I am Groot!"

"You're right, you a-" Did the tree just talked?

"Meow!" T'Challa says, his cat tail wagging as he "paws" at panicking Bucky and Scott, who are hanging from the tree - which has grown, just a note - like Christmas tree decorations. From above, Sam and Hope are laughing. They have wings so they can fly away from the sharp claws of the King of Wakanda.

Of course this is normal. He just probably traveled to an alternate universe. He just needs to know how to go back to his sane plane of reality.

The tree is gigantic, now. It's breaking the glass doors and cracking the walls. It is threatening to destroy the whole tower. This can't be. No matter how everyone is ignoring what is happening, this is dangerous and he can't let anyone get hurt. Specially Pepper and Morgan.

He makes a gesture to call his suit, and flies outside to assess the damage. Curiously enough, nothing seems to be in danger.

"Boss!"

"Yes FRIDAY?"

"We have an UFO incoming, and fast."

"Say what now?"

He looks and sees something is coming his way. His GUI zooms on the object.

"This is normal, this is normal, this is normal."

"SANTA SMAAAAAASH!" Green Hulk Santa yells, as he flies through Tony in a sled pushed by a black reindeer with a helmet that looked the exact same as Loki's.

They smash into the tower, because why wouldn't they, right? The 'K' of the STARK lettering of the tower falls.

Then he sees it! It all makes sense, now! This is Bobunk Christmas in its perfection! This is his destiny.

Letting himself accept the Christmas spirit burning inside him, he flies to the top of the tower, that now was more tree than anything else, opens his arms and legs and turns on the repulsors, casting a magnificent light, turning into a blinding shining star.

He feels magnificent!

Everyone on the street below start to cheer and applauding the exhibition. He did it! He got the best Christmas decoration of the world!

"Stark!" Everyone shouts.

"Stark!"

"Please! This is not about me," he says.

"STARK, WAKE UP!"

Tony jerks as he wakes up.

Fury is towering over him with a disapproving frown. Everything is back to normal, since it had all been a dream.

"Stark, why are you looking at me like that?" Fury asks, with actual confusion painted in his face.

"I makes total sense!"

"What does?"

"You!"

"Me?"

"You are my Bobunk Christmas Grinch!"

THE END!

#avengers #fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #tony stark #iron man #tony needs to rest #pepper potts #morgan stark #peter parker #rhodey rhodes #natasha romanoff #clint barton #steve rogers #captain america #thor #wanda maximoff #vision #groot #t'challa #bucky barnes #scott lang #sam wilson #hope van dyne #FRIDAY #hulk #loki #nick fury #I hope I didn't forget anyone #most characters are OOC #but that is the idea

[diredigression]

New adventure from Courier Carrot!

Carrot gets to push some big red buttons at Helios One.

—–

That Lucky Old Sun

Carrot sprinted down the dark hallway. “RUN!”

Behind her, a small army of protectrons teetered towards them. Bright red laser flashes from the bots shot past the three, perilously close to contact. Seconds earlier, Carrot had spotted the laser tripwire in the doorway, but not soon enough to keep herself from charging through it as she fled a Mister Gutsy. Luckily, Boone had taken that one down before the protectrons activated. As for them—

An ear-shattering explosion threw Carrot and Boone to the ground and ED-E into a wall as a dome of crackling blue lightning enveloped the bots.  The plasma grenade, one of Carrot’s new favorite toys, blew tangles of metal from them. The remaining parts sparked, smoked, and collapsed in the hallway.

Carrot and Boone scrambled to their feet and ED-E, beeping angrily, launched himself back into the air. Otherwise, there was silence. They clung to the wall, listening for anything besides the ringing of their ears and some residual static from ED-E, until they were reassured that the threat was past.

“Damn,” giggled Carrot. “That was cool.”

Boone glared at her. “Let’s just get moving and hope there’s no more up ahead.”

Of course, getting moving took some time, as Carrot was unwilling to leave any loot behind. She quickly emptied the toolboxes and bins in the area before moving on to the mangled bots. She didn’t know hide from hair on electronic things, but she recognized a few of the easier-to-remove bits as common stock in scrap sellers’ bins. No reason to leave free caps behind—especially now that she had Boone to lug it.

“Gonna be hard covering you when I can’t move my legs,” he grumbled as Carrot loaded him up with scrap. ED-E twittered in an amused sort of way, until she started piling the remainder onto him.

Now, ED-E — his acquisition had been utterly unexpected. Even Boone, whose repair abilities outstripped hers, had taken one look at the pitiful pile of metal on the Mojave Express desk and offered to take it to the Gibson scrap yard himself (as long as he got to keep the caps). But as Carrot had emptied her bag of loot in front of Johnson Nash for trade, his eyes had slowly widened. “Youngster, I reckon you just brought me exactly what I need to fix that old bucket of bolts.” And with a startling amount of sprightliness for such a weathered man, he had swept up an armload of Carrot’s junk and set to work tinkering on the eyebot. His intensity had left Carrot and Boone in slightly stunned silence, just wanting to trade their loot and move on.

And now the eyebot was part of their little party, singing fierce beeping war cries and taking down protectrons with his laser gun.

Eventually Carrot finished scavenging and they continued on through the dark hallways. The remainder of the journey was uneventful, and finally they discovered their goal: the elevator to the Helios One Observation Level. Here, as that idiot wearing sunglasses in the basement had informed them, they would be able to…do something to get the shiny mirrors outside flowing juice to the region. They’d done something about “resetting mainframe connection” outside the plant, and Fantastic said they needed to “do the rest” up here. Past all the killer robots.

Carrot was a huge fan of Fantastic, really. Dude knew his way around the NCR grunts and was totally shameless about it. Gotta respect that.

But now they were up here, slightly singed from the killer robots, and the computer was complaining about not getting enough juice even though it was in the damned juice plant, and he’d given them no actual info to go on. Oh, and a cable was chewed to bits and emitting an acrid smoke that gave Carrot a headache.

She began organizing the loot. It was a good way to pass the time while she waited for either her brain or the universe to give her something useful.

Or Boone, apparently. “I think I found something,” he called from upstairs. “Dormant Mister Handy. Maybe it’s only for maintenance. Might be able to fix the system.”

Carrot trotted up to where he waited.  The Mister Handy floated over a charging pad lit in pale blue. The flamer and buzzsaw on its curled legs (she was far too familiar with those) were still in place, but other tools seemed to have been retrofitted wherever there was space. It wasn’t often she got to see an undamaged Handy this close without the distraction of being flambéed. She couldn’t resist the impulse to reach out to touch it.

The robot jumped to life.

Carrot screamed and leapt backwards. Boone jerked, tried to grab his rifle off his shoulders, and tripped over a chair.

The Handy swept past them as if they didn’t exist.

Bewildered, they stared after it as it descended the stairs. ED-E’s startled beeping was heard as the Handy approached, soon changing to a slower, more confused sound. Carrot and Boone hurried to the railing, where they watched the Handy descend upon the smoking cable. After a few minutes of deft movements and a remarkable amount of sparking, the Handy collapsed next to the cable, once again dormant. The smoking from the cable was gone, and it looked as though the output on the monitor screen had changed.

“What…the hell,” said Carrot.

Boone looked at her, back to the bot, and then back to her. With his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, only a twitch in his frown indicated increased scrutiny. He pointed at her hand. “What are you holding?”

Carrot looked at her hand in surprise. Apparently she was still holding one of the loot items she’d been sorting, a small square computer drive. A holodisk. “An employee ID card, looks like. Guess waving it close started up the Handy?” Her confusion morphed into a cocky grin. “Glad I grabbed everything now, huh?”

Boone snorted and headed back downstairs. “Lucky us.”

Finally into the computer, Carrot eyed the terminal options. “Configure Power Grid”: that was probably to shift the juice around the region. More interesting was the one at the bottom, with the name ARCHIMEDES prominent. That was exciting. Options all in caps felt like the boring-green-terminal version of a big red button. She was disappointed to find that it only contained a memo, though, so she continued to the power grid option.

There it was again. ARCHIMEDES II. She vaguely caught notice of the other options around it, names of Mojave towns, but they were far less fascinating. Hadn’t that other guy, the sciency one working with Fantastic, mentioned something about it? ARCHIMEDES was calling to her. She selected it and the terminal returned to the original menu, which now included a new option:

Arm ARCHIMEDES Plant Defense System

What the hell. She was always a sucker for big red buttons. Besides, an important place like this could always use some extra defense measures, right?

Suddenly a siren blared. ED-E twittered nervously. For some reason, Boone eyed her and started murmuring, “Carrot, what did you—”

She cut him off. “No time, Boone, don’cha hear that? We gotta get moving before whatever’s happening happens. Looks like the last switch is up top.” She charged up the stairs and out of the building into the noon sun.

Out on the tower observation deck, far above the broad field of shinies, the control console was easily identified by the massive switch. Carrot wriggled in delight—she got to press all the big red buttons today. She leaned over the railing, spending a moment to take in the view of the Mojave and the array of mirrors below. Then she pulled the switch.

 ——

Bubbling over with excitement, Carrot charged into the room where Fantastic was working. She couldn’t wait to tell him the incredible thing she’d just seen. How lucky it was that she had been there out on the observation deck, gazing across the Mojave, right as that column of heavenly light shone from the sky! Even Boone had showed some emotion, although it seemed more angry than amazed? Her good mood couldn’t be swayed by his grumpiness right now, though.

But Fantastic’s reaction was equally disappointing. “What the fuck, man?” he shouted. “Are you loco? You just killed my paycheck!”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “I moved the shinies and sent out the juice, just like you asked!” But Fantastic just huffed and turned away.

The sciency guy was also unimpressed, but Carrot had expected that. He wasn’t as cool as Fantastic. Still didn’t know what or why he was blaming on her. Maybe he was just jealous that she’d figured out how to fix the shiny plant without him.

Carrot left the plant, Boone stalking darkly behind her and ED-E over his shoulder. All the NCR guards had vanished. Maybe they’d left to check out the light show too. She couldn’t blame them. But as for her, she’d had enough excitement for the day. Off she jogged towards her Novac bed and a well-deserved rest.

#Courier Carrot #courier #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #fnv courier #fallout oc

[lightningmastertrilogy]

Path of Lightning: Origins chapters 12 & 13: To be like you

Summary: Ryu has a hard time fitting in, even within his family.

Total word count: 4.7k words.

Read on wattpad: 12 & 13.

Read Chapters:

Chapter 12:

Ryu let out a long sigh the moment he stepped out of school.

He gripped his backpack straps tightly, before nervously looking around. His eyes lingered on some of the kids gathering together and laughing, as they headed home together.

His eyes moved back to his shoes, and he proceeded to walk forward, only for a kid to knock him down as he ran in a rush.

He groaned in pain, then pushed himself up. He just wanted to go home and get over with it, so he fastened his pace.

Meanwhile at home, Nosaru stared at intently at a manual then at the device attached to the TV. Her eyebrows moved upwards, as she continued to glance between the two.

"Just how many cables does this thing need?!" She ran a hand through her hair before sighing. She opened her eyes and gave in to her impulsive thoughts, as she threw the book across the room. "I don't need manuals. I'm a professional." She muttered and started working.

When Ryu finally arrived, he was met with a big mess. He looked in surprise at the wires taking over a good part of the living room, along with a manual that he almost stepped on. He yelped when he saw his sister’s head pop up from behind the sofa.

"Welcome home, Ryu!" Nosaru said, still panting from the fight she had with the cables, but what caught his eyes were the console and the cd case next to it. "Is that a playbox U?!" He exclaimed and jumped on the couch before picking a controller. The action made his sister smile fondly.

"C'mon sis! Play with me!"

"I don't know how to play." She replied, shaking her head.

'It's okay! I saw one of my classmates play it! I'll teach you!" After a few rounds, he regretted it. "How did you…?" He stared at the screen in shock. He lost every round.

"It turns out I have skills." Nosaru said, pleased with herself.

"But… but Leo is the coolest character! He can't lose!" Ryu argued, still in disbelief. "Rematch! I want a rematch!"

"No one is perfect, Ryu." His sister said, jabbing him playfully. "What confuses me is that the game is called Final Fatal Round… If it's 'final' then how come it has so many sequels, movies, comics and even an anime…?" She voiced her confusion.

"That's what we call 'milking' a franchise." Aiko said, sitting next to them on the couch. Her sudden appearance made them both jump off their seats.

"Where did you come from?!" Both siblings shouted.

"I was here the whole time." Aiko answered with a shrug, while the two squinted. "By the way, about this mess you made…"

"I was going to clean it." Nosaru said.

"Good. I'm so exhausted!" Aiko said and stood up. "I'm going to take a nap." She said then went upstairs.

Ryu's eyes wandered on her for a moment, before he looked at the younger sister with hesitance. "I've been wondering… you have being kinda weird lately. Do you… want to talk about it?"

"What do you mean by weird?" Nosaru asked, furrowing her eyebrows. She didn't think he would notice. Did she make it too obvious for him?

Ryu stared at her for a while, then shook his head. "Nothing… Anyway! Thanks for the game!" He hugged her than ran to his room.

She sighed and buried her face in her hands. She felt guilty for hiding things from him, but it was for the best. He was better off not knowing their family secret.

Ryu collapsed on his bed and grabbed a comic book. "I'm not blind… I know what's going on." He thought as he stared at pages. "I'm just not good enough like you Leo." He said, staring at a panel of his favorite hero.

                                           -P.O.L:Origins-

The next morning, Liz and Yuki walked together in the hallway.

"I still can't believe that you're paired with her." Yuki said with disbelief, while the blonde was focused on the book in her hands. "How was it?" He asked, trying to take a peek at whatever the blonde was reading, only for her to pull the book away.

"Why is it so important?" Liz asked, then closed the book, knowing that he would keep distracting her. "Everyone is making a big fuss about it and I don't understand why. She’s just like everyone else."

"You're Nosaru Akina's partner! The person who could possibly take charge of Aether in the future! The cold and distant member who avoids everyone! We are talking about the Ice queen!" He explained his point with frantic hand movements as if it would make his point clearer.

"She's not an ice queen, she's just grumpy… and that's ironic coming from an ice user." Liz commented, frowning. "So this whole heiress deal…You know there's Aiko too."

"Well, there is room for debate. Aiko is a genius, but Nosaru is obviously stronger when it comes to a fight." Yuki said. "To be honest, a lot here prefer Aiko for obvious reasons."

"That's hilarious… they should try being her 'favorite subject'" She muttered and shook her head when she remembered the woman's scary smile. "Anyway, the old man is still kicking, so there is no use talking about this." She said, before shoving her hands into her pockets. She didn’t like thinking about someone’s father dying, not when it hit so close to home.

They both passed by the cafeteria and saw the blue haired girl sitting alone looking grumpier than usual. Liz sent her friend a smirk that made him shake his head desperately.

"You won't make me sit next to the ice queen!" Yuki protested but it was in vain since the blonde gripped his arm and dragged him along.

She had a strong grip.

"Hello!" Liz greeted cheerfully. "Mind if we sit with you?"

"Yes." Nosaru said, but of course the blonde ignored her and sat.

"You know maybe we shouldn't…" Yuki was about to leave but the blonde forced him to sit. "…Fine."

"What's up Grumpy?" Liz asked with the book still in hand.

"Is that what I think it is?" Nosaru's eyes focused on the book, her eyebrows moved downwards.

"Oh, and how do you know what it is?" Liz smirked. "Don't tell me you read this stuff,. Never expected that from yo-"

"AIKO reads it…" Nosaru blushed from embarrassment, while Liz's face lost all colors at the mention of the oldest sister. "Should I worry about the fact that my partner is a pervert?"

"Yes." Liz answered immediately which made the blue haired girl snatch the book and hit her on the head with it. "Ouch! I’m joking! I just think this stuff is bad to the point it’s hilarious to be honest." Nosaru just rolled her eyes.

"She's… she's over there!" Yuki exclaimed suddenly when his eyes landed on a brunette in the distance, and he accidently froze the table.

"Hey!" Liz backed away from the frozen table then followed her friend's line of sight. The girl had emerald eyes, and long brown hair. It was hard to make out what clothes she was wearing under her long cloak, but Liz managed to see their black color. "Don't tell me that's the girl you have a crush on." He nodded and kept staring until the blonde turned his head away. "Stop staring or she'll think you're a creep!"

“You mean like you?” Nosaru commented, as she took a sip from her coffee.

“Hey!”

"What am I supposed to do?!" The ice user asked. "I'm too nervous to talk to her!"

"Tara might not be a penergy user, but I assure you she can take you out with one shot." Nosaru joined the conversation, and Yuki sighed.

“Yeah I know- Wait,you know each other?" Yuki asked her, hopeful instead of scared. She shrugged in return.

"We sometimes train at shooting together."

"How about we go talk to her?" Liz suggested and put an arm around Yuki who looked as if he was about to get a heart attack. He violently shook his head.

"Nope, nope, nope…" Yuki said but his protests were ignored once again as Liz dragged him towards his crush.

"I am surrounded by idiots." Nosaru muttered before deciding to follow them. She didn't want the poor sniper to be intimidated by those idiots.

"Hi!" Liz greeted the girl who turned to her, confused. "I'm Liz! I'm new here!"

"Oh, hello!" Tara stuttered and blushed. Liz resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow, questioning the girl’s nervous stance. "I'm Tara. It's a pleasure to… pleasure to meet… to meet you!" She said with a warm smile.

"H-hi!" Yuki said with a large grin that was totally unnatural and the blonde shook her head at her friend's hopelessness. Fortunately, the brunette did not notice.

"Hey Tara, I hope they're not making you uncomfortable." Nosaru smiled at her, a sight that was even more unnatural. She then glared at her and Yuki, much to her relief. “I hope these two aren’t making you uncomfortable.”

"Oh, not at all!" Tara said, tucking her hair behind her ears. She had trouble looking at them in the eye.

"Don't worry partner! We're friendly!" Liz said with a grin and put an arm around Nosaru.

"Can't you keep your hands for yourself?" Nosaru complained only for the blonde to ignore her.

"So, you come here often?" Yuki said, while Tara blinked at him. Nosaru and Liz groaned.

“Tara, this is my partner. Liz, this is Tara. She is an excellent sniper.” Nosaru stepped in, saving him.

“You’re giving me too much credit.” The girl chuckled, still avoiding eye contact. Liz came to the conclusion that the girl was just shy. Not the best combination with a line of work that involves a whole community. “Liz, is that it? Do you have powers?”

“I can summon weapons.” Liz smiled.

“Like Nosaru? That’s cool!”

“Nah, just melee weapons.” She said, then wrapped an arm around Yuki who looked like he was dying from embarrassement. “My friend here, Yuki, is an ice user. He’s the ‘cool’ one.” She winked, and the brunette laughed softly at the pun, while Nosaru gave her an amused look.

"Oh, really? C-can you make something?" Tara asked and her smile widened. He stared at her for a moment, before snapping out of his daze.

"Yeah! Of course!" He joined his hands together and created a rose with his powers. The girl stared at it in awe which made him gain a bit of confidence.

"Aw they're adorable." Liz commented and the blue haired girl nodded. For once they agreed on something.

"So, you’re a sniper?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah! You see, my dad is in the military and he taught me all kind of stuff so I can defend myself, but I just fell in love with the rifle! I can have my distance and still get a critical hit! You see what makes rifles special is that…" Tara kept rambling about her obsession with snipers, and her stuttering and nervousness were suddenly gone. The ice user listened to her and tried to focus on what she was saying but his brain couldn't match the girl's speed. The partners stared at her, surprised by the change of attitude.

"Do you… have any idea what she's talking about?" Liz asked her partner while staring at the girl in disbelief.

"No, but I'm impressed by the sudden change." Nosaru answer.

Out of nowhere, the blonde felt something heavy fall on her, colliding her with the floor. She groaned and pushed away the person who fell on her. She grabbed them by the back of their collar and pulled them up.

The person was a child. He had a blue spiky hair, matched with blue eyes. He stared at her, frightened. She couldn't help but notice that he looked really familiar, but she couldn't figure out why.

"Hey! Whose child is this?" She asked with an annoyed tone.

Nosaru stared at her brother in shock. "Ryu?"

Chapter 13:

Nosaru felt her heart stop as she stared at her brother. Her head was filled with questions.

Why was he here? How did he get here? How is her father going to react?

"Sis?" Ryu turned to her confused, once Liz let him go. "What is this place?"

Yuki and Tara gasped while Liz was still confused about everything. Everyone in the room started glancing at each other and whispering. Those whispers were too distracting for the blue haired girl.

Her mind went blank and she couldn't answer. She was startled when her sister stood between her and Ryu. Aiko was out of breath, she was panting as if she was running.

"To dad's... office" she managed to say between her rushed breaths. She took her brother by the hand. He followed her silently, feeling confused and scared from all the stares he was receiving.

Nosaru ignored them and followed her siblings.

"What was that about?" Liz asked with a frown while Yuki and Tara stared at her wondering how someone could be so clueless.

It wasn't until they reached the hallway, that the blue haired girl found her voice again. "How is he here? How did dad find out?"

"Well he called me and asked why I was late... I told him I didn't find my tablet... And he made the conclusion." Aiko said after finally regaining her breath. She ran a hand through her hair, avoiding eye contact with her sister.

"How could you just forget your tablet?!" Nosaru exclaimed.

Aiko stopped, took a deep breath then turned to her and started counting her fingers. “I go to work, I do the housework, and I also have to come here! Do you seriously expect me to remember anything anymore?"

"Um... Please don't fight!" Ryu intervened, as the two glared at each other. "I... Know everything. I heard you talking about it. I want to have cool powers too. I want to be like you." His expression lit up towards the end, but Nosaru’s only darkened.

"No you don't." Nosaru said with a forceful tone. Her sister touched her arm and nodded towards the door.

Aiko opened the door and the three entered the office. Hiroshi was sitting at his desk, signing some papers. He stopped and looked at them.

Nosaru looked down.

"Ryu." He address the child calmly, but both girls noticed the sternness in his voice. "How did you come here?" He asked, looking back at his work.

"I found this... A-and I clicked on some button that brought me here." Ryu answered, his hands holding into the tips of his shirt. "Can I be like everyone here? Can I be helpful too?" He asked with a bright smile.

Hirsohi didn't smile back. He gave his daughters a look that told them to leave. The blue haired girl wanted to protest but decided against it, and followed Aiko outside.

Once they were alone, she kept pacing around, not bothering to hide her worry while her sister rested against the wall.

"How can you be so calm?" Nosaru asked.

"I'm sure he'll make the right decision." The older sister answered, but her words only made the blue haired girl more upset.

"Is the right decision throwing him into this dangerous life?! Is that his way of protecting him?"

"Aren't you being a hypocrite right now?" Aiko said with the slightest hint of anger which caught Nosaru off guard. "You both think that what you're doing is right and that it's the best for everyone. The truth is that you're not giving Ryu the right to choose. He might be too young to make decisions, but the day he makes one, I'll respect it. I won't hold him back."

Nosaru's eyes widened and she remained silent. Was she really holding him back? She didn't consider his feelings. She only thought about protecting him because she couldn't stand feeling that pain again. The pain of losing someone dear.

The moment the thought crossed her mind, her vision blurred and she no longer looked at the hallway, but at a grave.

She saw people dressed in black, but she couldn't make out their faces, the eyes were hidden, but their lips were moving.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, she didn't want to hear what they saying.

She only focused on the stone that had her mother's name written on it. She only focused on the emptiness that was in her heart.

She felt as if she was suffocating.

She snapped from her daydream –or nightmare- when she heard Aiko call Ryu's name.

Following her line of vision, she noticed Ryu was running in the hallway, ignoring his sister. Nosaru felt someone shaking her. She looked at Aiko who was saying something, but she couldn't focus on the words.

"What...?" She said, dazed.

"Let's go after him!" Aiko repeated and let go of her before running after her brother.

Nosaru's heart skipped as she came back to her senses, and followed her sister.

Ryu ran and ran until he was out of breath, and his legs started to shake. He wiped away the tears and looked around. He was outside, in the garden. He looked down at his feet, feeling sad and deceived.

"It's not fair... I'm not weak like he said. I'm not useless. I can prove it to him, so why won't he give me a chance?!" He said, unaware that someone was watching him. "Why won't anyone give me chance to be more than just a burden?!" He yelled, then sighed.

He sat down on the grass, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his head into them, sobbing quietly.

"Hi there." A guy surprised him. He had two boys following him. His hair was black, and his eyes were brown and mischievous yet, a young boy couldn’t know that."My name is Jun, and I accidently heard you talking. It looks like someone thinks you're not good enough. That's cruel."

"M-my name is Ryu..." Ryu answered, using his sleeves to wipe his tears. He took the hand that Jun offered him, and stood up.

"What if I gave you an easy job that will help you prove yourself to everyone?" Jun said with a kind smile. "I'm sure you're more than meets the eye."

Ryu thought about it. Maybe he had a chance to prove to his family that he wasn't a good for nothing. So he nodded.

Meanwhile, Liz, Yuki, and Tara were walking outside.

"So, now the third member of this crazy family is here... great." Liz complained and put her hands behind her head as she walked.

"Do you… think they’re okay?" Tara looked at them, worried.

"I'm sure they're fine! Don't worry!" Yuki assured her, although he wasn’t too sure of it. He knew their boss was strict, but he wouldn’t be so harsh on his children. At least he hoped he wouldn’t.

“It’s just that, Nosaru is always on edge whenever her father is mentioned.” Tara stated. Liz looked at her in curiosity, before turning her head to the road again.

She stopped when she heard a noise nearby. "Did you guys hear that?"

"What?" The pair asked and the blonde almost slapped herself. She forgot that her demon blood gave her stronger senses that the others.

She walked towards the source of the sound, and she saw Jun giving Ryu some coordinates and sending him away. Tara and Yuki followed her, and saw the scene as well.

"Those Akina kids act all high and mighty, it’s honestly disgusting." Jun said with a smirk to his friends. "Maybe this way they'll learn a lesson."

"Are you sure this is okay? If they find out..." One of the boys said.

"It's fine!"

"I wonder about that." Liz walked towards them. "Where did you send the kid?"

"Oh look, it's the Akina siblings' pet!" Jun said earning a laugh from his friends. "Mind your own business! Besides, what are you going to do? Beat me up?"

Liz stared at them for a moment, before smiled sweetly, and in the blink of an eye, she grabbed him by the neck and lifted him up.

Yuki whisteled. “Not so tough now, are you?” He turned the grass beneath the other two to ice, making them slip before they could make a move.

Jun struggled, but he couldn’t escape her grip.

"Oh, right! They said you were a mercenary!” Jun said, and Liz’s eyes widened. “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?!”

“Shut up.” She said, tightening her grip, and glaring at him.

He looked at her with fear, but didn’t back down. “You’re… a killer… I might have a grudge against the Akinas but I’m not trusting someone like you with a kid!”

She dropped him, clenching his fists.

She was furious, but she couldn’t deny that he was right. She couldn’t trust herself either. She looked away, hoping to hide her discomfort, but it was replaced with surprise when she felt a hand resting on her shoulder.

She turned to see Tara giving her a gentle smile, to reassure her, as Yuki picked up the tablet, against Jun’s weak protests.

“That’s funny, you send him somewhere dangerous, then you have the nerves to lecture someone.” Yuki glared at him, before handing Liz the tablet. She looked at him in confusion, while Jun gave him a look of surprise.

“What? No! It’s just an abandoned street-” His eyes widened.

“And those streets are where penergy users hide, and more often than not, criminals too.” The sniper said, as he looked down in shame.

“Hey, Liz. You should go. We will keep an eye on them.”

The blonde looked at the two, speechless. She didn’t understand why they acted this way, why they trusted her, but she didn’t dare waste it.

She clicked on the button.

-P.O.L:Origins-

Ryu found himself in an empty and abandoned street. He gulped, scared. He was supposed to get some object from an old building but they all looked the same to him. He felt his resolve getting weaker.

Did the boy trick him? How was he supposed to go back?

He looked at the tablet in his hands, confused. Which button did he press again? He got lucky the first time.

"Is that a child?" He heard a man's voice, which made him turn in a heartbeat.

Three men stood there. Their clothes looked old and dirty. One of them had tattoos all over his body and another had a scar on his face.

They were scary looking, and the boy took a few steps back.

"That thing you're holding looks expensive! How about you give it to us?" One of them said, giving him a fake smile.

The child's legs started shaking and he fell on his back. He was certain that it was all over until he heard her voice.

"Would you kindly leave him alone?" Liz walked towards them with a smile. "It's not nice picking up on children." She picked Ryu up, helping him stand, before moving in front of him.

"Huh?" The one with the tattoos stood before her with a menacing glare. "It's none of your business-" His words were cut out when he felt her fist collide with his face, resulting in an immediate K.O.

She looked at him, unimpressed, before cracking her knuckles and taking a fighting stance.

The two men shared a look before running towards her. The scarred one attacked with his fist. She moved her face to the right, to avoid his punch, then  hit his face, which angered him.

The one with the tattoos ran towards her in an attempt to tackle her, but she jumped in the air, before using his back as a booster, resulting into him falling flat on his face.

She turned to other man right as he tried to punch her again, and lowered her head as she moved to the side, dodging his fist and punch his stomach.

She then noticed the third guy gaining consciousness and rushing towards her with a knife in his hand. She jumped to the side, avoiding the blade at the last second, before gripping his arm and hitting it with her elbow, making him drop the knife.

She knocked him out by kicking him in the stomach, sending him to his friends.

Liz looked at the unconscious men, pleased with her work, before turning to Ryu.

"Well, that was easy. You okay there, kid?" She asked him, and raised her eyebrow, while he stared at her with his mouth hanging open. "What? Cat got your tongue?"

After few minutes, he finally calmed down, but he still looked upset.

"Why did you come here?" Liz asked.

He looked at her then at his feet, as if he was ashamed. "I always felt like a burden to my family... They always worry about me, they do a lot for me. But I can't do anything for them. Whenever I try to help them, they just push me away!" He said, and gripped his sleeves. "I want to become someone they can rely on! I want to be a hero!"

The first thing that crossed the blonde's mind was that the thought was childish, then again, he was a child.

"Why don't you tell them how you're feeling?" She suggested, and he looked at her with confusion. "Tell them how you feel, and I'm sure things will work out. And if you think that being a hero is easy, then you're wrong. The world is dangerous. Take your time and think about it, okay?" She offered him a smile, and after considering her words, he smiled back.

“Can I really make that choice?” He asked. “Won’t they just say no?”

“Maybe.” Liz shrugged. “My… dad was always so stubborn about things, but he cared for me deeply, and respected my choices. Maybe, your dad would do the same?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he even loves us anymore.” He sighed, and the blonde frowned, wondering what could make a child think that. “Ever since mom died, he came home less and less. Even if he is around, it’s like he’s not with us, you know?” He tried to explain, and looked up to her.

Liz gave him an understanding smile.

“Yeah… I think that he might still be grieving. He probably loves you, and if he doesn’t, well, that’s his loss because you seem like a cool kid.” She hesitated, before ruffling his head, making him chuckle. “I lost my dad too, a few months ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Ryu said, looking at her with a sad expression.

“I’m sorry too, about your mom.” She said, then took a deep breath, before pulling her tablet. “We should go back.”

-P.O.L:Origins-

Nosaru and Aiko stopped by the garden and they witnessed a very strange scene. Jun and his friends were frozen from the bottom to their shoulders. Tara was practicing her sniping on them while Yuki cheered for her.

"What on earth is happening here?" Nosaru asked then shook her head. "No, forget it. Have you seen my brother?"

The pair looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Yuki ended up explaining what happened to the siblings.

"What?!" Nosaru turned to Jun and she equipped one of her guns. "Send me to him right now!" She pointed the gun at him and he only stared at her in fear.

“Look, I didn’t mean to! I just wanted to scare him off!”

Aiko put a hand on her sister's shoulder, calming her down. "Liz went after him, so I'm sure he's fine." She reassured her then glared at the boys. "As for you, I'm going to make sure you regret this. Am I clear?" She said in a sweet yet scary voice.

They were interrupted by the shining light, and two people appearing from it. Ryu ran towards his sisters and threw his arms around them.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble." He apologized. Both sisters shared a smile.

"It's okay, we're just glad you're safe." Aiko said, while Nosaru patted his head.

Ryu pulled away and had a big grin on his face. "It's thanks to Lizzie! She was so amazing and she beat the bad guys like it was nothing! Like a hero!" He said while the blonde just stood there awkwardly.

"Thank you." Nosaru said with a grateful smile and her partner smiled back.

"As expected from my beloved pet!" Aiko said and threw an arm around the annoyed blonde.

"I'm not your pet..." Liz muttered, before allowing herself to smile at Yuki and Tara, grateful for their help and trust

Perhaps… things could be okay, for someone like herself.

Somewhere in England, in a library, a phone was ringing. A man picked it up and sat at his desk.

"The author here. How can I help you?" Bob asked. He listened to the caller then sighed. "Am I really needed for this if it's just a meeting? Fine, I'll be there." He hanged the phone and headed towards the exit.

"Is something wrong?" Feng asked. He was putting new books in the empty shelves.

"Pack your things, Feng. We're going to Japan."

#writeblr #writblr #creative writing #writing #writer #my writing #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #wip #ocs #original writing #original fiction #original story #original characters #humor #drama #tragedy #fight scenes #action #friendship #path of lightning: origins #P.O.L: origins #writing update #chapter update #manga #anime #story

[fourthingsandawizard]

Dan and Phil Rize Summary, Sept. 12/13, 2018

(Note: I spent the first half of my lunch break at work simultaneously watching this and trying to eat fried rice, so if this summary isn't as great as normal... Sorry? Haha)

-They were arguing over what to put in the notification, and Phil accidentally typed "Dan and Phil are in Man" instead of Manila

-Someone in the chat asked "What's up?" Dan answered, "Not Phil! He's barely awake!"

-It was midnight in Manila, so two hours behind where they were in Australia

-Phil: "We've just been on a plane, that was fun!" Dan: "No, we swam from Sydney to Manila."

-Dan: "Phil almost immediately got deported." Apparently when Phil went through security, the lady asked questions like what the addresses were for the hotel he was staying in and the address for the theater he was performing at were, and the most Phil could remember was that they were in Manila, somewhere in the city. Dan said that he thought Phil just looked so confused that the security person just thought he couldn't possibly be lying.

-They got in an argument because Phil claimed that Dan pushed him in front in their security line even though Dan knew all the info and if he gone first, it wouldn't have been a problem

-Phil had noodles with what he called "mystery meat." Dan: "No one wants to know about your mystery meat."

-Chat: "How's the weather?" Phil: "The weather is typhoon."

-Their plane went on a crazy flight path to avoid the storm, but their pilot seemed super casual about it, even though they could still see lightning out the windows.

-Someone in the chat asked if Dan had written the mpreg yet. Dan: "Not yet."

-Lightning facts with Phil: if you're in a field and your hair stands up, you're probably about to get hit. He talked about their weird static experience at Google that one time

-Apparently there's a lot of honking in the traffic in Manila, even though the cars are sitting still, which is very different from home for them. Phil: "In the UK, you'll probably do about five big honks in your life."

-There's a Sims video coming soon, and according to Phil, it's "a doozy." He wouldn't let Dan reveal much more than that, but Dan said if we thought the last one was crazy, we have no idea

-They both helped edit the Bucket of Doom video, so you can watch and try to guess who did which part. Phil said he did the Hedwig part

-Phil apparently got a text from Kath that only said "Bodyguard" and really confused him, but she was talking about a new BBC show

-Geography lessons with Dan: Dan was very confused as to why it took 8 hours to get from Sydney to Manila when it only takes 6.5 to go from England to NYC across the whole Atlantic. Phil said it was because of the storm, the chat suggested Flat Earth and aliens

-Dan went a bit stir crazy on the plane and started immitating and then harmonizing with the noises the plane was making. Phil said it made his ears hurt, and he told Dan to stop because it was annoying the lady next to them because he knew if he said it was just annoying him, Dan would just do it louder

-The person at their rainforest airbnb left all the doors and windows open because they thought they would be there sooner, so the whole place was filled with bugs

-Phil, showing us his forehead: "I laid by the pool, and now I have freckies!" (No, that's not a typo, he actually said "freckies" instead of "freckles," this man is too cute, it should be illegal) Bonus: Phil said he went through "Phil-tosynthisis"

-The cable car the went on had a glass bottom that scared Phil a bit, and in true older brother fashion, Martyn likes to try to rock them

-They mentioned some of the dangerous plants their tour guide pointed out, and in true Phil fashion, he almost immediately touched one

-They spent a nice day at the beach eating ice cream, then saw on the news the next day that the same beach was closed due to a four meter crocodile

-They started Googling the most dangerous animals in the Philippines to see if they were safer there, to which Phil said, "You know what the answer to that is in all places? Humans."

-Phil wanted to have a microsleep during the liveshow, but Dan wouldn't let him because people had said they were skipping classes just to watch

-For Truth Bombs (What would Dan and Phil's super powers be?), they decided to try out the groupchat feature and bring three people in at once

-The first person was in a car on their way to karate, and D&P were worried because they thought they were driving the car while on Rize (spoiler, they weren't). Their answer wad that they would have the power to ruin sleep schedules

-The second person seemed overwhelmed and was calling for their mom to see they were in the livestream. They said they were blanking on a answer, so settled on their powers being the power to mind blank. Dan said that would be very helpful if, say, they had to save a burning orphanage and then just blanked and didn't help

-I tried really, really hard to understand the third person's answer, but the volume was going crazy with so many people talking at once. Something about crafting? Or weird situatuons? I'm really sorry, I tried to understand you!

-The person going to karate won because their answer was accurate AND they stayed in the groupchat waiting that whole time

-Phil: "I felt like we were in the Brady Bunch with all the squares!"

-Phil: "What season is it in Manila?" Dan: "I don't know. Wet?"

-They have a show tomorrow, then they're headed to Singapore

-The Rize giveaway is still happening, they'll tell us more in the next liveshow

-They're still "squirreling away" at the TBC dates, but they just can't say anything about it right now

-Phil was annoyed because the airport put his Manila stamp right overtop of his America stamp

-Apparently the pictures on their Indian visas will be...interesting? (Dan said something about an edgy filter?)

-They're excited to sample all the food that Manila fans have been suggesting, and Phil said something about a bee-themed fast food place?

-They aren't sure when they'll have good internet for another show next week, so they'll keep us updated

#dan and phil #dan and phil rize #dan and phil liveshow #amazingphil #danielhowell #phil lester #dan howell #danisnotonfire #dip and pip #phandom #interactive introverts #dan and phil ii

[a-day-at-once]

January entries #21 to #31

#21

21/01

Hello, diary. I'm sorry this time I took so much of you, I'll be fast. Today at work, Leo and I talked abou KSV, and watched some of the manga's pages. As usual with magical girls mangas, it's a bit... Darker, than what TV's adaptation shows. Well, looks like Leo didn't knew that. Today's sticky note was a doodle of us watching Sakura, so I drew us cosplaying. When the shift finished, I headed back home and feeded Ember. Watching those pages made me remember my first motivations to draw. Inspired me, somehow. So I took you and went to the canal, were we still are.

Do you remember weeks ago, when I told you about journals? How 'diary' suited you better, because people took their journals outside and stuff? I won't stop calling you diary, it's way too settled down now to change it. But welcome to your new life.

It's just a messy, fast sketch. And I'm lying down actually, but I couldn't make the pose right as I wanted so...

I signed it as 'Luz'. It's a friendly nick for my coworkers now, but at first, it was my artistic name. I haven't used it as such in a long time... memories come to my mind, of every painting and sketch that I signed with this name. It means 'light' in spanish. Well, I'll go back home now. It's getting late, I'm kinda tired, and maybe Ember is missing me. See you tomorrow.

- Eva.

#22

22nd of January

Today was pretty long, diary.

There was some kind of event at one of the shops nearby, so I assume that everybody and their mother's brother decided to do their shopping for dinner before they went home. We were packed all day, to the point where I didn't even have time to get the stocking done I was supposed to get done. I ended up staying forty-five minutes after my shift to get it done.

On a positive note, that meant that the end of today's shift coincided with Leo's. On a negative note, when I saw him, I was struck with a bolt of lightning: I had gone on a date with Leo.

We hadn't decided it was a date, not fully.

But he held my hands and taught me how to ice skate.

Was that a date? Did we... Date?!

He bought me dinner, diary!! That was bloody well a date!!

He trotted over to me with a grin on his face and I dropped the boxes of pasta I was holding. Holy god, I went on a date with him! "Hey! What are you still doing here?" He'd asked, helping me collect the wayward pasta.

"Stalking! Stocking," I said, stacking up the boxes. "Yep. Just, uh, leftover stocking stuff. Couldn't get it done during the rush," "Oh, that's the worst," Leo had commiserated. "Want some help? I don't technically clock in for another fifteen or so,"

"Sure," I agreed. I knew my face was redder than red, the reddest I'd ever been, even redder than the time I'd fallen asleep on the beach. Leo ignored how shirty I was being and just talked about a show he'd watched last night. I didn't technically have cable, as watching whatever's on at the laundromat didn't count, so I didn't know what he was talking about. But he filled me in on some of the backstory with animated hand gestures, hysterical character voices, and the occasional dynamic pose. I don't think he ever put a box on the shelf, but the way that he set me at ease after my sudden realization helped more than he could have ever known.

My entire walk home, I thought about the date-not-date. Leo was so relaxed during the whole thing, but I assume I had been too.

I hadn't thought that it was a date the entire time.

If I had, there was no doubt that I would have skated directly into a wall going at least Mach the fuck Five and possibly crying the entire time I did it. I unlocked the door to my apartment and threw myself down on the couch.

What was the etiquette on this whole thing? Was I supposed to ask Leo if it was a date, or would he eventually ask me? Were we just going to keep going on like this forever and ever until one of us wondered if we were supposed to be filing taxes together or something?

What if I asked him and he laughed at me? What if I asked him and he didn't know what I was talking about?

What if I didn't ask him and I died right here, of a heart attack? Ember pounced on my gut, forcing me to unglue my asscheeks from the couch and feed her.

That gave me a three-minute reprieve from the unholy existential spiral I'd found myself in, but I'd made no more progress on my best course of action. Just as I got done cleaning up after Ember dove into her food bowl, I got a text.

From Leo. Leo: Hey, I'm on my lunch break and figured I'd give you a holler. You said you're an artist, right? I want to work on my painting skills. Want to go to the craft store with me on payday? I want a pro by my side! I stared at my phone like it'd grown snakes for what felt like an hour before I typed back. Me: Sure! I should get some more supplies, too. I've been getting back into the swing of things. Leo: Great. It's a date! I stared at the screen, frozen in place.

Dear diary, it seems that Leo answered my day-long epic saga of self-exploration, self-deprecation, and a little bit of absolute terror.

Now, I guess I have only one question. Is Leo psychic?

--hawkwarrd

#23

Welcome to Day 23, diary, 'cause the breeze is so strong and the weather's so dark that I might have dropped you into the snow when I was rushing out the door this morning with my bag unzipped.

Just dash, drop, drown--I've left you out in the air in the sink, hopefully minimizing the damage as much as possible. Would a hair dryer help? Can I even use a hairdryer without setting it on fire?

Fire--god, I wish I had a fireplace. It's so cold. It's so fucking cold.

Round these parts it doesn't snow 'til January--dull dreary grayness throughout the December and  mild-mild-mild chills until January "the Real Fucking Winter" 23rd rolls around with snow so wild I'll freeze my toes off.

I. Hate. The snow.

We're getting snowstorm warnings but I go to work anyway like how we put warnings on prescription bottles and they don't stop us all anyway and honestly? Wasn't busy, given the snow. No one wants to go around in this weather.

We closed early for the lack of traffic. I'm home now, and though your pages are water-damaged and wrinkled and stained, you're still okay. Still functional. We're a lot alike in that respects, aren't we?

I thought about writing another poem, or doodling--hell, my neighbor's kid plays their rap music so loud I considered trying to make my own. I will not. I would be a disaster--but yeah, that kid--they're probably like 13, 14, with a bad attitude and headphones too big for their face and a big button on their backpack that says THEY/THEY PRONOUNS OR I'LL KILL YOU.  Their nickname changes every other day from planet names to galaxy clusters to snowflake crystalline shapes. Their mom, Hadiza, is nicer, all on her own--a tired smile on her worn-pretty face and her hands cracking from dish soap and snow-skin, but she sometimes knocks on my door and asks me to make sure her baby got home okay while she was out at work.

sometimes i think i'd kill to have a family who loves me but that's a bad thought bad bad bad

She's nice, at least, though. When I got home she offered me some tea--you've been awfully quiet lately, Luz! Come in, I'll make you some-- all soft and warm, and well, motherly.

Made my heart hurt a little. Made some of the snow melt.

So I'm here, diary, after a lazy slow cold day, with milk tea and biscuits warming my body from my toes to the brainfreeze I caught in the winter outside.

Good days and bad days, huh, diary? Good days and bad days.

I hear the music playing up from the apartment next door again, but I don't mind it so much right now.

--redlight

#24

24th January

I was painting today after my shift at work.

That’s why I wasn’t paying attention. Why I didn’t fully look at the screen before I answered the phone.

It was set to be a good painting, I thought. I’m pretty sure I was trying to deal with what happened at the turn of the year. I was so proud of myself for picking up a paintbrush and getting into that space.

I don’t think it matters, now.

I pressed the phone to my ear, expecting Greg or Susan to be calling me to confirm my schedule for next week.

It was neither Greg nor Susan.

“Hey. I didn’t think you were going to pick up,” Nick’s voice said. “Listen, I know that you’re really mad at Dad and all,”

“That’s one way to put it,” I said, mouth feeling numb as I spoke. I wasn’t here at all. I was at the pizza shop with Leo. I was ice-skating. I was even arguing with an old lady about the price of tuna, because I wasn’t here--

“I think we need to put that aside for a while.” Nick said, sighing. “I’m at the hospital. With dad. And Mum.” He said shortly.

“The hospital?” I said, looking around. Ember sat curled up on the couch. I’d dropped my paintbrush. There’s a splatter of brown-red paint slowly seeping into the cream carpet. There goes my deposit.

“Yeah. Dad’s… Not well. Mum and I talked, and I think… We think, all of us, that you should come home.”

“I can’t.” I spat immediately. “I just… I can’t, I just can’t.”

“If it’s about money, I’ll buy the ticket.” Nick said nonchalantly. Funny, that. Who knew being His Holiness came with such a stunning salary.

“It’s not about the money and you know that.” I whispered, curling in on myself. I could barely breathe, could barely think. “What’s going on?” My morbidity asked.

Nick let out a sigh.

“Dementia, we think. He’s been asking for you.” He admitted, his voice choked. “We’re not sure how much longer he has.” “Dementia,” I echoed. “Okay. I’ll… I need to… I have a job,” I babbled, standing then sitting immediately back down. “Can I call you back?”

“Sure. We’re going to be at the hospital all day, so even if you want to talk to him…” Nick said, trailing off hopefully.

How he wanted a perfect family.

“Right,” I said, finally choosing to stand back up. “Right.”

“Okay. Bye. I love you.”

“I… I love you, too.” I said, looking down at the phone in confusion. Nick hung up.

I felt like I’d been boiled.

Dad had been asking for me?

What did that mean? As far as I knew, he hadn’t uttered my name since I’d left the house.

Was he really dying? There was a time in my life that my father dying had been a fond dream of mine, while I was locked in my room to give me “time to think”.

Nick becoming a man of some monolithic God was hardly original. My father had been patient zero. The outbreak. The drop of contamination in the well.

Mind and body, I still bore scars from being the queer child in a House of God.

How was I supposed to go back to that? How was I supposed to care?

Nick had always behaved like I was being overdramatic, and he still was. How could he just casually call me one afternoon and ask me to go back to that place like it hadn’t ripped everything I was away from me?

The numbness I had on the phone was swept away by the tide of rage.

My father was the type to read from the Bible for our bedtime stories when we were children, to pray before dinner, to attribute everything good in our lives to God.

As a child, I was wont to agree. All the evidence I had pointed to the affirmative. My life was good, and therefore God was good.

It was only when things started to take a turn that I found out the truth.

God made man. Man made pain. Pain made man bitter and tired.

Dear diary, I am so bitter. So tired.

Somehow, my father had found out that I was queer. I had been trying things on for size at school, trying to grow into myself in a safe space.

Soon after, the mill downsized. My father was one of the many that were turned away, no pension, no benefits.

Many people would have turned to alcohol, to drugs, to anything to make that horror seem far away for awhile, but my father turned to God. We went to church Sundays and Wednesdays. We prayed every night, together, before bed.

I’m sure there are people out there who thrive in that environment. Nick sure had.

Me? Not so much.

Especially not when I was to blame for my father’s layoff. They laid the family’s flaws at my front door, blaming my queerness for why things were going wrong.

God is punishing me, they said. I was unnatural, they said.

Ember made a small chirrup from the couch and I looked over at her.

I couldn’t go back, I thought dumbly. They wouldn’t let a cat on the train, and Ember surely wasn’t staying here by herself.

I looked back down at the phone.

I had a few options. Running through them would help sort the cluttered stack of panicked thoughts in my mind, made frantic from a single phone call.

Option one: never call Nick back, throw my phone into the canal.

Option two: call Nick back, tell him I can’t go back, but talk to my father on the phone. Option three: call Nick back, tell him to buy me a ticket, go back to my hometown.

Just thinking the third one made me sick to my stomach, so I crossed it off. I couldn’t do it. Not now, at least.

Option two seemed like the best way to keep everyone happy. I was the equalizer. I was the one that kept everything together.

This was my role in the family.

I picked up my phone, but instead of dialling Nick, I dialled Leo.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Leo answered. He sounded cheerful but suspicious. I would be, too. We’d only texted a few times since the date. (Not date? What the fuck ever, I’ve got other shit happening.)

“Something… crazy, honestly. Do you have a second?” The background noise on the call stopped and I heard a door close.

“Yeah. I’m all ears. What’s going on?”

I gave Leo the five-minute version of my family history, much like he’d given me over pizza. It was sanitized, but I could hear him hiss through his teeth while I recounted certain tales.

“Now he’s sick. Nick says its dementia and he wants to see me, but…”

“You can’t.” Leo said firmly.

“Right.” I agreed, folding my arm across my chest. “It would be…”

“Bad, bad, bad.” Leo said. I could nearly see him shaking his head, his hair getting in his eyes. “No bueno.”

“Nick said I could talk to him on the phone, but…”

“Do you owe him that, honestly?” Leo asked me.

“Do I owe him?”

“Yeah. It’s supposed to be just a phone call, alright, but you’re freaking out. Do you owe him your piece of mind? Do you owe any of them your peace of mind?”

What a question. “I don’t think so.” Leo said, softly into the silence. “I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that you are worthy of peace. You are worthy of happiness.”

There was a lump in my throat and I could scarcely breathe.

“I dunno if anybody ever told you that, but it’s true.”

“Thank you,” I choked out.

“Anytime. Literally, day or night.” Leo said. I heard a door bang open and someone calling his name. “I have to go back in, but are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah. I am.” I said, and I didn’t know it was true until that moment. “I think I’m going to call Nick back.”

“What are you going to tell him?” Leo asked.

“That I’m not going to talk to my father,” I said, gulping slightly around the tears that threatened to choke me. “At least not now. And I’m not going back there. Ever.”

“Good. Great,” Leo said. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you so much,”

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow at work, okay?’

“Okay.” I agreed again. We hung up, saying our goodbyes.

The phone lay in my hand, inert, but it felt like the potential energy contained inside of it could level a city the size of New York.

I took a deep breath, moved to the couch, and grabbed Ember around the middle. She opened an eye at me, offended, but I wrapped her sleepy, limp body around my neck like a scarf and the warmth seemed to appease her for a moment before she oozed partially down my chest, keeping her head near my chin.

With my little mascot, I opened my contacts and pressed on Nick’s.

“Hey! Are you clear to come down?” He answered.

“No, Nick. I’m not coming down.” I said firmly. The phone shaking in my hand and my other hand tangled in Ember’s fur belied my strong tone.

“What? What do you mean you’re not coming down?” I gulped at his angry voice and the sound of him walking down an expanse of tile. “I can’t go back, Nick. I’m sorry.”

“Your father is dying and you won’t even go see him?” Nick shouted and something within me snapped.

“I was dying!” I growled. “I was dying and nobody even cared!”

“What are you talking about?”

“The entire time I spent praying for something to change inside of me, praying to be anyone else but me, I was fucking dying, Nick, and none of you gave a single shit. In order for me to survive, I can’t go back to that place.” My voice was shaking, but my hands were firm. “I’m not going to do that to myself, not again.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re seriously just being a baby? What about ‘Dad’s dying’ do you not understand?” Nick said incredulously.

“You’re not listening to a word I’ve said,” I spat, sitting forward on the couch. Ember shot me the evil-eye, but she stayed. What a good cat.

“Yes, I did! You said that you’re not going to come and see your dying father because he tried to raise you right.”

“No, I’m not coming to see the man who raised me to believe I was an abomination because I would like to live.” I growled, clenching my jaw. “I think we’re done here.”

“I think we are, too.” Nick said. “He’s going to be so disappointed.”

“So am I.”

I hung up the phone. I stood, cradling Ember in my arms. I sat back in my painting chair.

I bent, picking up the partially-dried paintbrush.

I rinsed it off, picking up more colour.

I started to paint.

--hawkwarrd

#25

Day 25.

I woke up just a few moments ago. That's why my handwriting is so sloppy. I'm sorry.

I didn't really sleep. I couldn't. All I could think about was that fucking phone call and my dad and my brother's unbearably loud voice screeching into my ear. I don't even need to read what I wrote last night again, I remember every single word like it was burnt into my brain. (I don't think I can, actually. Read what I wrote. I can't.)

Why did he even call me? Why did he have to call me?

Fuck. I don't want to go to work.

I wish I could grow vines from my body that would merge me with this bed. That's all I need. To just lie here and fucking sleep.

︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿

Update. I tried to sleep for the last 40 minutes and I couldn't. Even having Ember lying against my back didn't help.

I don't want to go to work. But I can't stay here without falling asleep. It'll only get things worse.

I just got a text from Leo. He asked if I'm okay and if I want him to call in sick for me.

You see that, diary? He cares about me more than my entire family combined. Unless he doesn't. Unless it's all a show and he actually doesn't care and nobody cares and I'll end up all alone again and my own fucking brain will keep on screaming and screaming until I take that rope again and ch

Sorry. I'm sorry. I wrote too hard and now your page is a bit ripped.

I told him I'll come.

︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿ Here we meet again diary. My damaged diary, just like me.

Today was… odd. It was… bad, but… somehow… I dunno. Sometimes it was okay, and other times… it was a disaster.

I was late to work but Greg said it was okay. He was in charge again so he put me in the cleaning product section, to put the new price stickers on the products that were on sale. Then he told me to put in the cans in order and do some stuff like that.

I went to lunch with Leo again but nothing that big this time. We sat outside and ate some sandwiches he made (they were perfect. Cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and salty butter. I couldn't ask for a better homemade lunch than that. I didn't, actually, he just brought it and shared it with me and made my morning better), and just watched the people go in front of us. We played that game I play with myself sometimes, and tried to guess where they went and why.

We saw a woman hastily talking on her phone while walking fast. Leo said she was a lawyer late for court, and I said she was just late to meet her friends somewhere.

We saw a guy and a girl (I said girlfriend, Leo said sister) sit not far from us and laughed at something they saw on their laptop. Leo said they were looking at puppy photos while I said they saw a funny post on tumblr.

We saw a guy walking slowly with a small girl, and while Leo said it was her uncle taking her to eat ice cream, I said it was her brother taking her to the near park, to ride the carousel.

Leo looked at me and asked, “what, like Holden and Phoebe from The Catcher in The Rye?”

I smiled at him, all proud that he recognized what I was talking about. “Yeah. Why not? All he needs is a hunting hat.” I said.

He laughed. “It's my favorite book, you know,” he told me.

“I know now,” I said, and he looked down shyly like only he can, with his freckled cheeks red and his green eyes hidden. So that part of the day was the good part. The only good part.

Even before rush-hour, my luck was running out. I dropped products, I bumped into things. I discovered that I put all the sale prices in the wrong place in the morning and had to rearrange two entire sections. I was already frustrated by the unnecessary work I made for myself, and the embarrassing stuff that I did - I was not ready to spend the rest of my day there.

But I couldn't go home, either.

And then, some point in the afternoon, the store was stuffed. Since it's a Friday, everyone wanted to hurry and buy everything before the weekend.

Which is exactly why I hate Friday shifts so much.

I stood in the dairy section in the back. Once in a while, some random customer asked for help. I tried to stay friendly, at least on the outside. The noise creeped into my bones but I did my best not to let it stress me more than it already did.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and it made me jump. I looked at it and saw it was a message.

It was from Sean.

I couldn't even look at what it said. I just turned off the screen and put it back in my pocket.

At first, I didn't even notice that I was shaking. I kept on gulping and licking my lips, like I was thirsty, even though I wasn't.

Why? Why did he text me again?

My phone vibrated again (and made me jump again) - but more than once this time. Someone was calling, but I didn't want to look at it. I didn't want to see who it was, in case that it was him. I just - I couldn't handle him, I just couldn't. And I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing me break. Because that's what he did, that's what he always fucking did, what he was best at - I couldn't calm down, even after I turned off my phone completely. I looked at other parts of the store, to see if I could see Leo, or Greg, or Susan, anybody, but I couldn't see any of them ; they were all too far away, too busy. The entire damn place was too fucking busy and I felt like it was getting too much.

I had to get out. I had to get out but I couldn't. My legs were stuck in their place and there were too many people and too much noise and too much to do.

Fuck. Even writing it now makes me want to puke.

I saw someone. Someone that looked just like him. And for a moment, I was certain that it was him, that he found me, that he actually found out where I am and that he came to get me.

I couldn't breathe. Each inhale I took felt like fire, just like my eyes did when I blinked. I couldn't hear anything but the blood that rushed in my ears. At some point I must have lost my balance cause suddenly my shoulder hurt, and when I looked to my side I saw I bumped into one of the refrigerators, but I couldn't fucking move. It was too hot and too cold at the same time and I could barely stand and I felt like my lungs were tied up and I shook like mad and my throat hurt as if I was screaming (did I? Or was it just from crying?).

Someone put their hand on my shoulder and I jumped and slapped it away. I couldn't really see properly but I just knew that people were looking at me and gathered around me and I just needed to get the fuck out of there, get away from him, get away from everybody, I couldn't fucking breathe -

Suddenly, a familiar voice reached my ear. Leo was calling my name, asking “can you hear me? Can you hear me?”

Somehow I managed to nod. I blinked through the tears and saw his huge piercing green eyes. “Look at me,” he said, “Breathe with me. In,” he took a deep breath, “and out,” he exhaled. He repeated it slowly, just for me, until I felt the fists that squeezed my lungs gradually let go. He encouraged me and guided me until I could breathe without needing to fight for it.

I was numb, for a few moments. Or maybe in shock. But it was quiet, finally quiet, and I needed that, just for a few more minutes. I didn't even notice he took me outside.

“Here,” he whispered, and gave me a bottle of water. My hand was still shaky when I took it, and slowly soothed my sore throat with it. It helped the breathing, too.

“May I ask you what happened?” Leo asked, so gently, so emotionally. I turned to him and felt my eyes burn again. My vision was blurry with tears and I… I tried to speak. I did.

“It’s just… I thought I saw…” I bit my lip as I tried to stop myself from crying again, but it was useless. “That I saw someone that... “

I couldn’t really continue the sentence, but he got it. I looked down at the ground and when I raised my eyes back at him again, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and I cried, letting the tears stream down my face and right into his shirt. I don’t even know for how long I cried but he kept on holding me the entire time. I could feel his arms fold around me, and he was just so tender, so careful, just like he could. One of his hands cupped the back of my head, and his other arm just kept me close, as if I’m going to collapse again. My fist gathered his shirt at some point, and I almost hugged him back.

I don’t know how long passed, but he didn’t let go, even when I was done. And I let him. No one ever… comforted me like that before. No hug ever felt so safe.

When I raised my head to wipe away the trails of my tears, I saw he was crying too.

“Leo…?” I blinked at him, all confused and guilty. “No, no… it’s not your fault,” he laughed through his tears. “I just cry very easily… I just… can’t stay indifferent, you know? Especially when I know what it’s like. I’m sorry, it’s… it’s stupid.”

I managed to smile, if only for a moment. “It’s not stupid.”

He saw I was still trembling and weak, so he suggested to ask Greg to let us take the rest of the day off. “My apartment is only one bus stop away,” he told me. “You can stay in my place until you feel better.”

Despite myself, I nodded. In other situations I would’ve been awkward or flustered at such a suggestion, but… I knew I needed this. I couldn’t go back to work… and I couldn’t go back to my place. Not after this… not when the rope is in there, just a drawer away.

We went to Greg together, and Leo told him I didn’t feel well, and that he needed to escort me. Fortunately, Greg was very understanding, and let us go pretty easily.

We then went to the locker room, to take our stuff. I saw he left me a sticky note this morning, one that I didn’t notice before, and I promised myself to leave one back for him the next time I get the chance.

He paid for us both on the bus, and led me to the back door inside of it. I watched the houses and trees rush in my sight while the bus moved, and felt like they were running away from me (but Leo didn’t). Before I knew it, we reached our stop.

His apartment was on the ground floor of the first building to the left of the bus-stop. He kicked the snow that piled up by the door, pressed the numbers for the entry code and let us both in.

We both took our shoes off by the door. He hung his coat in the corner and told me to do the same. “You can put your stuff here in the corner, so everything’ll dry up,” he said. “And you can go ahead and sit on the couch, I’ll make us some tea.”

I did as he said and went to sit on the couch. I felt a bit awkward at first, and would have been much more so if I wasn’t so tired. It was a small place, smaller than mine. He had a small kitchen just by his living room, and the bathroom was just near his bedroom. It was tidy and warmed up immediately when he turned the heater on, and just felt so… homey. The orange light from the lamp made it even more so.

“There,” he stepped slowly and put a wooden tray on the table in front of me. There were two mugs on it, and beside them, a sugar container and a spoon. “Peppermint and lavender. Do you like sugar in your tea?”

I nodded and mumbled, “one.”

He added sugar to my cup and then went to his bedroom, only to come back with a blanket. I was about to decline, but he already put it around my shoulders and it just felt so soft. The teacup warmed my hands up and I could feel myself relax, little by little.

He sat beside me and we drank our tea in silence.

“I’m sorry… about all this.” I finally managed to say, somehow. Words never came out easily for me after a panic attack.

“No, don’t be. Please,” Leo told me. He brought his legs up and bent them flatly on the couch, with his knees turning towards me. “I’m glad to help. And I want you to know that you don’t need to feel obligated to explain anything, okay? I know you explained a little before but if you’re not comfortable with elaborating, then I respect that. I just want you to feel… safe. Do you feel a bit better now?”

I nodded and brought the mug up to my lips again. After a few more gulps, I could feel that the herbs were actually helping. “Thank you…”

“Of course.” We finished our beverages and continued to sit there, comfortably silent. Then we talked for a while, about other things. Leo showed me some photos of his sisters and his dog. In turn, I turned on my phone, swiped away the message notification (and the missed call one) so I won’t have to see it every time I look at the screensaver, and showed him the only picture I had of Ember. He said she was the sweetest kitten he’s ever seen. I told him how I adopted her and promised to take some more photos to show him.

I spent much more time there than I thought I would. It was already dark outside when I decided I should go. Even though I ended up napping there for a while before that. He didn’t even wake me; when I woke up on my own from my dreamless sleep, he said he didn’t mind. He had a book on his lap and his phone beside him.

“Besides… it’s nice to have someone around here. You’re the first visitor I have here.” He said. It somehow made me feel a bit… special.

Not long after that, I put my coat on and took my things. He suggested taking me home, but I didn’t want him to bother that much for me.

Apparently he was very stubborn when he really wanted to be.

“I’m not letting you go all the way by yourself, not when it’s so cold, and not in this hour. I have my car here, I’ll take you.” He said.

Before I could say no again, he already put his shoes and coat on (I didn’t bring my own car to work today so I didn’t have any other excuse).

Leo’s car is small and old, but functions well. He said his oldest sister left it for him, and that’s why there also was a leftover smell of cigarettes (Leo hates that smell. Good thing neither of us smokes) that he tried to mask with an air freshener. I told him my address, and we were good to go.

The roads were almost completely empty. People in this town don’t use their cars much, not for Friday nights anyways. Most of the bars and pubs are in the center. I fell asleep during the ride, and before I knew it, Leo woke me up to let me knew we arrived. His hand was gentle and warm against my shoulder, and for a moment, I was tempted to invite him in.

I couldn’t, though. I didn’t want him to see that shithole. Not tonight.

I put my hand on the handle, but I didn’t open the door just yet. I licked my lips nervously and looked down, a bit in a loss of words. I wanted to thank him again, I wanted to tell him that I have no idea where I’d be by now if he wasn’t there, but… somehow, I didn’t find the right words, at the time.

I looked at him, and he smiled in understanding.

And then he hugged me. It was a bit uncomfortable, because of our sitting position in the car, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. It was a different kind of hug than before, but it still felt… protective. Safe. I liked it. (I didn’t want it to end)

I tried to make a lame joke before I let go completely. I don’t even remember the exact phrasing cause it was that lame, but it was something like, “I’d invite you in but I’m late on feeding my cat and I don’t want my first visitor to be eaten alive…”

At least it made him laugh. His clear, beautiful laugh that you can just tell it’s so sincere. Even from a stupid joke, just like that.

We said goodbye and I got out, and he waited until he saw me getting into my house before he drove away.

I fed Ember. I changed into my jacket-and-random-pants pajamas…

And that’s it. The most roller-coaster day I’ve had in a long while.

I decided to keep my phone as far away from me as I could tonight, and put it to charge in the socket on the other side of the room. If I don’t hear the alarm, at least I’ll have Ember to fill in for it.

So maybe this morning wasn’t the only good part of the day today…

And at least now, I can try to have some sleep. Who knows. Maybe I’ll manage, this time.

- hadar

#26 - BLANK DAY

#27

I may or may not have spent most of yesterday in bed.

I did. I only got up to pee and take a shit.

I needed the rest, though maybe not as much as I got. The more I slept the more I feared waking up, and every time my eyes flickered closed like old lamps in desert hospital hallways, I found myself where I didn’t want to be.

My mind took me there, diary. I saw him in his deathbed, and he extended his hand to me. Hands that were heavy on my body, weakened by delusion, perhaps seeing a child he no longer had but pretended God was merciful enough to grant him the vision of my presence nevertheless.

”My beautiful child,” he whispered in a voice that used to tuck me in bed until it became coated in venom. He was glad to see that my hair is short now; he always said that I shouldn’t have it as long as I liked it at the time, that I’d spend more water washing it and each extra dollar towards the water company was one less dollar towards the church charity pot on Sunday. For a brat of fifteen, it made me want to grow it over my shoulders, only to taunt him. Every day he pointed out that it had grown and laughed about it. Playfully, for anyone who didn’t know better, but each low chuckle was a warning I chose to ignore for the sake of rebellion. I’ll never forget the day when he grabbed a fistful of my hair, jerked me backwards and cut it himself. One swift, clean lick of a scissors. But that’s straying from the point. In this… fucked up psychic dimension that was my dream, my father extended his hand to me and said he missed me.

He fucking missed me…?

Nick was there too, smiling with his hands resting on our mother’s padded jacket. She smiled too, head tilting to the side as it always did, nails long and pointy, polish of a color that looked ridiculous in a woman of her age, fingers adorned with jewels we could never afford so she took to her own measures to have other men paying for them on the side.

”My beautiful child, please… Come closer.”

In my dream - I was nauseated, choking on bile, my stomach twisting and revolting at the mere thought of being touched by those calloused hands again - I walked to him. I let him fuck no FUCK get away DON’T TOUCH ME touch me and he guided me closer to him, pulling me until he could reach my face and he SHIT STOP PLEASE DON’T DO THIS PLEASE I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE kissed my forehead. ”My beautiful child,” he said again, ”I’m glad that God gave me a chance. I’m glad that God gave me you.” His hands - weaker than before, one of them connected to a serum pumping machine - curled around my neck. The grip was fragile, barely even squeezing, but I was contorting already, quivering in anticipation, feeling my air lines cutting in advance, heart bursting frantically as if it were scared to be beating for the last time and it was.

”But you’re broken, my child, you’re twisted into a monster. But that’s okay. God will save you just like he saved me.”

The ghost whips of a leather belt stung on a skin that never forgot the pain, a mind that struggled to keep up to the “treatment”, to the sick… attempt at “fixing” something that I had no control over. In my dream I was crying, and I woke up crying just as hard.

Ember, perhaps unknowingly, purred a soothing melody as she curled up to me. It was a song I never heard, but I sobbed against her fur until she tri-pawed away to chase a fly. I was calmer by then, arguably sober in a mental sense, the aftermath of the dream pressing my body further under the sheets. I found myself wondering why I kept the rope. Was it a trophy to remind myself that my cursed timeline could have ended but I pushed through like a champ? Or was it just so I could fantasize about having it around my neck again? I weighed a few thoughts on the second option.

I heard footsteps on the hallway and my heart stilled. I knew it couldn’t be him, but I still hid until I heard a familiar voice.

“Rise and shine, sugar plum.” Greg said from the other side of the door, choosing to tap a few knocks on the surface of the door over ringing the annoying buzz of the bell. I appreciated that, and he knew so.

Greg… He doesn’t talk much. But he always says what I need to hear, even if I don’t want to hear it. Today’s “I don’t want but I definitely need” was, “I’m picking you up for lunch.”

He introduced himself to and played with Ember while I showered and got dressed.

Sunday meals at Greg’s were the absolute opposite of what I used to have back home in Arizona; he had so many people over on the weekend I often considered it smothering. His living grandma on his dad’s side, his parents and parents in law, brothers, sisters, nephews, and sometimes the lonely neighbour who had lost his wife to cancer and always repeated the story of how they had met, over and over, until he saw at least one eye around the table getting teary. Greg’s partner was always there too, of course. My family was never that large, but the silence and the mandatory praying and the television weather report and the roast and the elephant in the room everyone refused to acknowledge, it was all so suffocating--

Me and Greg met online when I was a dumb kid of twelve, playing with an online mask of a twenty year old. It was a thing us stupid kids did back then, trying to be grown ups where no one could prove that we were simply trying on a shoe a few sizes too big for our tiny feet. Greg, he was twenty-one at the time and had just finished high school a few years late, but it was done and that was all that mattered. He tried for college but never made it in. He doesn’t regret it.

He found out about the almost-catfish a few weeks after we started talking, but he never brought it up. Again, he never says anything he doesn’t have to. We spoke every now and then and when I noticed, I had stopped pretending I wasn’t myself.

I told him about wanting to leave my house. He understood.

He’s the reason I had somewhere to stay after I ran away from my family. From Sean. This apartment, in fact, belonged to his younger sister, before she moved to Europe with her fiance. He’s the reason I even have a fucking job. I can never thank him enough for everything he did for me without me ever asking. That’s probably why I never say no to him. Today, it was just us. No overly large family. Just… us. Family, too, in a way.

“Andy’s gone out with his college buddies. Some sort of weekend-long bonding camping trip. He sent pics, you can see them on my phone if you want? It’s over there.” He said as he chopped an onion without looking at the cutting board. I feared for his fingertips, but years of practice had him confident in his technique.

Ah yes. Greg? He cooks amazingly. He and his husband are gym-pumped vegan beasts, and most people would scrunch their noses at being presented with a dish of soy over beef, but the way he seasons the food is just-- chef emoji, super yum, 100/10, putting Rich Landau’s worldwide famous plant based meals to shame. I could drool all over a plate before eating it - ravishing it, rather. I hate carrots, but Greg’s roasted carrot purée is crazy d i v i n e and I could feed on nothing but that for the rest of my pitiful life.

I should have taken a picture à la Instagram, dear diary, but I left my phone charging at home, so I’ll have to leave it for another day. He promised he’d have me over more often, even when I said he didn’t have to. He insisted that he wanted to have me there. That I was always welcome. I pretty much only needed to say the word and he’d have a front door key ready for me.

We ate (have I mentioned how bloody DELICIOUS it was???), he made a stupidly quick yet delightful dessert and we lazed the day away in the couch, his arm around me, my head on his shoulder, our legs up on the coffee table (if Andy were there, he wouldn’t approve of that). Both of us had already watched that Schwarzenegger movie like eleven times, but still we sat through it until we fell asleep. I had no nightmares.

When we woke up, it was to a key on the front door and Andy walking in. He had a whole bunch of new pictures and stories to share. It was dinner time by then, and even though I wasn’t too hungry yet, I could never say no to more of that meal, so we ate leftovers from lunch and heard all about his adventures with people I never knew of.

Greg drove me back home close to midnight with a tupperware full of another portion of his food. Before he drove off, he asked me, with all sincerity, if I was okay.

Diary, I wanted to lie and say “yes”. I always did, it was a reply that came out on autopilot. That I was fine and that the embarrassing panic attack I had on Friday was caused over some stupid anxiety, nothing I couldn’t get over with a little more sleep and more of that purée.

But I thought of Leo. How concerned he was. I thought of my day with Greg, how I owed him so much but he never asked for anything at all, and I thought of the amputee cat waiting for me to feed her just upstairs. I thought of how much of a carcass I was in the lonely night of December 31st 2018, how I was so prepared to embrace death as one last attempt at feeling anything at all and how I stood up to Nick like I had been too much of a coward to do before.

And then I said yes. And when I said yes, diary, I said it because I meant it. In Greg’s smile, I noticed he too noticed.

When I got home, I petted Ember, fed her, but she barely ate, choosing to follow me around and rub on my legs instead. I unplugged my phone off the charger to open my messaging app and read Leo’s concerned texts and reply to them as fast as my cold fingers could type on the screen of my smartphone. Pressing backwards when I waited for a reply, my eyes drifted down to see one text from Susan - missed call - and the one from Sean’s number. I found myself praying, for the first time in a very long time.

I prayed that it wasn’t true. I prayed that I read them wrong, that it was the wrong number, that it meant nothing. But I read those words again and again, and they were right there. Mocking me. Taking whatever security I had gained over foundations of sand and crashing them down like a salted wave of restlessness. Greg was one phone call away, but my phone fell on the floor and cracked the screen and I couldn’t find it through my tears.

XXX-XXX-XXX: I found you.

Dear diary. That rope on my drawer is suddenly looking very inviting again.

#28

Day 28. (somehow)

I woke up so many times at night, I can barely call it sleep. Even now, after I put my phone on the other side of the room again, that message still haunts me. Mocks me. Whispers in my ear like a damn ghost, settling in my head like a tumor. Like only he can do.

As I said before. He wasn't the only reason, but he had a huge part in my decision to leave. I can't even elaborate on that, it'll make me - it'll make me want to rip you apart, diary, and I can't do that. Not to the only thing I can rely on with my thoughts and secrets.

Dammit.

Knowing that he found me gives me such chills, I can barely write properly. I tried doing those breathing exercises Greg had taught me but nothing helps.

I want the ground to swallow me whole. I want a lightning to strike me right here and now. I want…

I don't know what the fuck I want.

What do I do now? Do I run away again? Do I wait and see what happens? Do I call him and tell him to leave me alone no, hell no. Definitely not. Not gonna happen. If I listen to his voice, I'll scream.

Fuck him fuck him fuck him. Why can't he just leave me alone? Why can't he just let me be and let me move on with my life?

It hasn’t been this long since the year started. But I finally have something good here, you know? I have Leo and Greg and my job and Ember. I have the lake to sit by and the park to go through to local events.

I have my freedom, something I used to only fantasize about not even that long ago. Finally, I can choose where to go and what to do; not my dad, not my brother and definitely not him. Neither of them controls me anymore. None of them can tell me who I am and who I should be.

At least… That's what I want to believe, diary. That's what I want to believe.

… I hate him. I hate that he makes me feel so weak and confused. I hate that with three little words, he can crush me into dust and take away the one thing I ever wanted.

To feel safe. My phone made that special sound I put especially for Leo so I'd know that it's him. He said good morning and sent a cute lion emoji instead of his name.

I'll get ready for work soon.

︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

Even going to work was a nightmare. That text Sean sent me was stuck in my head, and I couldn't shake the feeling that with every step I made, he made two. It made me anxious. The only good thing about the cold and the snow was that it somehow managed to chill my body, even underneath my coat, because it was too hot even in that weather.

I had to stop thinking about it.

Not long before I needed to start my shift, I bought myself some coffee and some cookies to share with Leo and Sylvia at work. When I got there, I left him a sticky note like I promised myself I would, and he himself showed up not long after me. We shared some cookies and talked, then I gave the rest to Sylvia. She said she'd bring them to her grandchildren, cause chocolate-chips cookies are their favorite.

The shift was rather calm today. Not many people are coming on Mondays, especially not in this weather, so we mainly focused on cleaning and organizing things (it was nice to keep myself occupied, otherwise I'd probably had another panic attack by then). I spent most of the time with Leo while Sylvia was in the cash stand. The three of us had a lunch break together after that, because she insisted and we didn't have the heart to say no. Turned out she brought enough food to feed an elephant, and we ate much more than either of us hoped.

I'm so grateful I had their company today. It didn't undo what Sean did, and let me tell you, I will most likely think about it every day because I can't stand the thought of him trying to find me, maybe he's even watching me-- but… they did help me, a lot. Having them with me kept me… sane. I jumped when I got a message on my phone later in the afternoon, but luckily, it was safe this time. It was Simon, one of the people that volunteer with me in the animal shelter (he's a bit of a dick, but all in all he's okay). He said he broke his arm so he won't be able to be around in the near future. We're pretty much always short on staff, especially ever since the snow started, and our manager, as understanding as she was, kind of freaked out about losing another volunteer. She really cares about the animals in the shelter - she's the one who brought in most of them.

Turning to Leo was my first and only option.

It was towards the end of his shift that I asked him if he wanted to meet me up later and go with me to the shelter. To my surprise (or maybe not), he immediately agreed, and even offered to buy some stuff on his way to get me.

It was only me and Sylvia until I she'd give me the o.k to go, and that entire time I did my best to remain somewhat busy, to keep my mind from wandering towards those three cursed words I have on my phone.

So I drew. I drew the store around me to the tiniest detail. I drew Sylvia sitting behind the counter, writing stuff in her notepad.

I drew Leo out of memory. That one I kept in my locker, later. Leo came to get me around 7pm. When I got into his car, I saw he bought much more than any other volunteer I've met until now. When I asked him about it, he said most of the things were stuff he found in one of his sisters’ bags in his apartment, and the others he bought on the way. He refused to tell me how much it cost so I wouldn't be able to pay back some of the money he spent. I gave him the instructions on how to get there while we were on our way, and he was glad to see part of the city he didn't get the chance to see before.

Later, he stuttered something that I didn't understand at first, and he blushed even more when I asked him what he said. “I - I asked if you're still up to go out with me to the art store on our payday?”

I choked on my own saliva and coughed like crazy for a whole minute. He told me to take his bottle of water from his bag behind me, and while I did, it finally occurred to him that what he said was… That. He began to apologize and say he didn't mean to make me uncomfortable, but I somehow managed to tell him that it was alright. He even said I could call it off if I wanted to, but I told him I never said no. When he turned quiet, I knew it was because he was flustered, even when I didn't look. So I said, “You know, payday is the day after tomorrow… so I guess we can go then.”

He quietly agreed, and right before our silence could become awkward, we arrived at the shelter.

I introduced him to the manager, Georgia, and she showed us in instantly after we brought her the all the stuff Leo brought. She asked me about Ember and I showed her the most recent photo I took. She was more than happy to see the cat already looked bigger and healthier. She said she liked really happy to be with me (I'd like to believe that, too). Leo loved it there. He was so excited to help so many kinds of animals in one place, and he was actually good at it. He was charmed by Georgia's story of how she opened this place last spring, all on her own, and how she managed to keep it stable up until now.

I showed him Shelly, the conure that's still really fond of me, but she didn't like him very much. She even tried to bite his finger (how can anyone not like Leo, I will never know).

We spent our time there helping Georgia around until the shelter closed at 9pm. Then we went to grab something to eat (ate Chinese takeaway in his car) and Leo drove me back home.

He stopped me before I got out of his car, by gently putting his hand just above my elbow.

“S-so… the day after tomorrow. Right?” he asked. Maybe he was still feeling bad that he called it a “going out” thing, but… it was cute. That he wanted to just make sure, I mean.

“Yeah. The day after tomorrow,” I confirmed. I smiled at him and that seemed to put his mind at ease.

And now I'm right here, diary, writing to you in a slightly better mood than I was this morning.

I'm kind of excited about tomorrow. More than kind of, actually. I'll go out with Leo and we'll have fun.

But if I'll be honest, I'm… I'm scared. I am. I never admitted that and I didn't think I would, but… You're the only one I can say that to. I don't know what I'll do if the messages continue, or if Sean starts to call more often. Fuck, I don't know what I'll do if he ever shows up.

But for now… I need to keep it together. For my own sanity, at least.

Or at least, I need to try.

-hadar

#29

One of these days, I am going to wake up and my first thoughts won’t go to the noose in my drawer.

Today is not one of those days.

I feel like someone is playing tug-of-rope, and I’m neither on the winning side nor the losing side.

I’m the rope.

One moment, I’ll feel like things are looking up. Like things aren’t all that bad.

The very next I’ll remember the missed calls and the texts on my phone.

It appears that ignoring Sean only made him worse. As I stood at the cash register, I was sure that my phone was ringing off the hook in my locker.

Leo seemed to notice how distracted I was and he kept eyeing me between customers. He’d look like he decided on what to say, but once we were alone, he changed his mind.

I didn’t blame him. I had to look like some kind of wraith, haunting register number three in a fugue.

He broke when we went on lunch together when Sylvia came in.

“Are you okay?”

Something in my locker buzzed.

“I—”

Something in my locker buzzed.

“You’ve been a little out of it all day,” Leo said, tossing his head.

Something in my locker buzzed.

That was an understatement, I thought.

Something in my locker buzzed.

I must have looked like I was on another planet.

Something in my locker buzzed. ‘A little out of it’ was such a nice way to put it. Something in my locker buzzed.

“Should you… Get that?” Leo asked.

I snapped.

“No!” I shouted, standing up and slamming my hands on the table. Leo flinched back, eyes wide in surprise. “If I get it, I’m going to throw it into the canal and I’m going with it,” I snarled.

Something in my locker buzzed.

Leo stood up and walked over to my locker, pulling out my phone.

“Who the hell is calling you like this?” He asked, holding it out from his person like it was poisoned. “You have forty missed calls. It’s not your brother, is it?”

“No,” I whispered. “It isn’t.”

“You don’t have to tell me, but feel free on the walk.”

“The walk?” I said dumbly. He thrusted his jacket at me.

“The walk. I’m going to find Greg. Put this on.”

He stalked out of the lunchroom. He looked livid and I wondered how I could have pissed him off so quickly, so easily.

I hoped he’d at least let me down easy.

Leo came back, Greg in tow.

The phone was still ringing.

“You guys can take the day.” Greg said, giving me a worried once-over. I still held my jacket, standing in the middle of the lunchroom. “I’ll work the registers. Don’t worry about clocking out.”

“Thank you,” Leo said, voice still a little clipped. “C’mon. Out you get.”

I followed Leo as I climbed into my jacket. He still held my phone, and he looked down at the screen.

“Calling again.” He snarled, his upper lip curling. Where was shy, gentle Leo? “This is gonna stop. Now.”

“What are we doing?” “We’re going to the store and changing your number.” Leo said, full of piss and vinegar. “I don’t know who Sean is, I don’t care who Sean is, but you look miserable and I’m not going to sit here and watch someone harass you like this. Fuck him, fuck this phone, fuck the black cloud that’s been around you all day,”

He ranted, turning down the street toward the cell phone branch.

“God, fuck this.” He finished, shaking the phone in front of him with a snarl.

“Are you… Okay?” I asked, slowing my walk. Leo had marched out of the store with a vengeance, setting a breakneck pace toward the store. He slowed with me and shot me a confused look.

“Am I okay? What about you?” He asked, a little more of the gentle Leo that I knew. “I’m sorry, I should have asked before I went on a crusade…” He trailed off.

“No, no. I really appreciate this, honestly.” I admitted. “I wouldn’t have done this by myself.”

“How long has this been going on?” Leo held open the door to the store for me.

“A few days.” I said, tossing my shoulder like I hadn’t lost sleep over this. “A few…! Okay, yeah, this is getting done today,” He said, marching up to the desk.

The clerk looked a little overwhelmed at the start, but Leo eventually calmed down enough to stop turning to me and reading me the riot act mid-transaction.

A few of Leo’s greatest hits:

“I don’t know who this person is, but they don’t get to call you a thousand times and make you feel like shit, okay?” --While the woman was asking for my customer information

“Who would even harass you anyway? You’ve never done anything wrong in your life!” – After we’d handed the phone over

“I bet they don’t even have anything to say. This is illegal! Do they know that? We should go down to the police after this, I bet Greg would come, Sylvia too, we would all go with you,” –As she was waiting for Sean to stop calling so that she could access the settings in my phone

Once the whole thing was said and done, we’d been there a half hour. I felt like a flannel, wrung out and left to dry.

Tired, exhausted, and thoroughly told off, but… Good. Having Leo make a big deal out of this and validate my panic over the past few days felt… Good. I thought I’d been making a big deal out of nothing, acting like a baby, but watching Leo, calm, gentle, Leo, fly into a fit over a few phone calls was somehow far more comforting than I’d ever thought.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Leo said, taking the phone back and turning to me.

“Can I go home?” I asked, taking the proffered mobile.

“Of course. I’ll walk you.”

We were quiet for a few blocks, Leo’s righteous rage stemmed for the time being.

“I didn’t overstep, did I?” Leo finally asked. My apartment building was in sight.

“No. I… Thank you.” I said, looking down at my feet. “Thanks for caring.”

“You deserve somebody to care about you, okay?” He said gently, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Whatever this is, you don’t have to tell me right now, but whatever it is, you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I’ll tell you.” I promised. “Just not right now, okay? I’m… Exhausted.” I admitted.

“That’s understandable. I already have your number, so call me if you need anything. Or if whoever that was calls back. Alright?”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Leo said, chuckling. “Get some sleep. Big day tomorrow, eh?”

“Art shop!” I said, twinkling my fingers with a smile.

“Art shop… Date.” Leo said, stiltedly. He inclined his head. “If that’s okay?”

“That’s… Okay.” I said, fighting a smile and nodding. “It’s totally okay.”

“Okay,” Leo said, perking up slightly. “Okay! Okay,”

“Okay,” I laughed. He stopped and shook his head at the absurdity of our conversation.

“Okay!” He said, breaking into a big smile and laughing with me.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “I’ll pick you up?” He said, hopefully. I grinned one last time.

“Okay.” --hawkwarrd

#30

Wednesday. January 30th.

  I don’t know why, but I woke up feeling a lot better today.

  I’m not sure what it was; maybe it was the sheer caring Leo had shown in helping me deal with Sean yesterday. Maybe it’s the thought of our date (our date, diary) later today (today!), or the fact that I actually got out of bed at a reasonable hour this morning, or… I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to. It’s the first time I’ve been mildly happy in… years, honestly,  I can’t remember the last time I was – was I ever – I can’t- I don’t know I should know  and I’m not about to question it.

  I think if I mention it anymore it’s going to go away.

  And it almost does. The thought of the past few days come crashing down, and it takes all my energy to push them away. Even then they don’t leave entirely – how could they?

  Sean still knows where I am, doesn’t he or did he never know in the first place?

  What could have happened if Leo and Greg weren’t there.

  Honestly, as cliché and stupid as it sounds (and sorta makes me feel) he – Leo -- reminds me a bit of a prince. I mean, have you seen him? Messy perfect-length light-brownish, hint-of-red  hair, (not to be confused with an artful mess, just… a mess) -- how did he even see someone like me? It’s only a year’s difference but I feel so much older than him sometimes not to mention we have similar music tastes (I found out randomly during one shift that we both liked indie, alternative, and electro swing). Good god, if I don’t get out of this house now I’m going to die, aren’t I.

  The whole day seems to stretch by slowly, so slowly, until finally I look up from my pile of video games and books and lock eyes with the clock.

  2:40, twenty minutes before I’m supposed to pick up Leo from the store.

  I mean – it’s not like we set a particular time or anything. And.. he did say he was going to pick me up. But I know he gets off at 3:00 and it’s only a ten minute walk to the art store from there, and… I may or may not have wanted to stop by and walk there with him.

  It’s stupid.

  And yet, only a few seconds later, I find myself tugging on a sharp, patterned shirt and – whatever else it is when people want to impress their art store dates.

  I’m hopeless, aren't I? I pull into the store parking lot at 3:01 and see Leo walking out the door, finding myself running to catch up with him before he disappears into the crisp air and I have to walk by myself all the way there (because seriously? How weird would that look? Fuck my life but no way is that happening). His eyes light up with surprise and a little bit of pleasant happiness at my sudden appearance as I slide up next to him, looking at me as the cold turns his nose and ears an adorable but subtle shade of red. Or maybe that’s just me?

  “Hey,” he huffs, eyes sparkling, a little more forcefully than he needs to so he can watch his breath become visible. It’s not freezing, but it is January, and thus a bit chilly. Definitely medium-heavy coat weather, which… given from the light one he’s wearing, he doesn’t seem to have realized. Oh well.

  “Hey,” I muse awkwardly in response. My lungs burn a bit from my sprint across the parking lot but I don’t care.

  We fall into comfortable silence, neither knowing what to say. It’s only seven minutes before I see the art store a small ways ahead and glance at him and his strange green eyes, my question rolling off my tongue as we approach our destination. “What kind of art do you like making? Or,” I correct myself, “I guess, what would you like to make?”

  He looks a bit startled, like he hadn’t even considered that. “I’m- not sure. I used to sketch a lot more when I was younger, but I- fell out of practice. A lot of it was pretty bad anyhow.” This time the red across his cheeks is a definite blush, and I think it’s so cute I might be blushing myself. I feel so detached from the events of the last few days and, from the sheer calmness he’s displaying, he does too. It seems like so much drama has happened that even the cool (but not frozen, like that around us only moments ago) rush of air as we step inside the store makes me grin, and I look at him. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we? I mean, who goes to an art store as their second date?”

  He grins right back at me. It feels… neat inside, and I suddenly realize what it’s been that made me feel so happy the whole day.

  I haven’t been in an art store in ages.

  And this is the first time I’ve ever been in one with someone I care about.

  Someone who cares about me.

  After all, Sean hardly counts.

  “I know, right?” Leo looks just as excited as I am. His response fell so in time with my thoughts that I’m taken aback for several seconds before realizing he’s just responding to my earlier joke.

︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

We leave the store almost two hours later (to be fair, we looked at everything), me with some new paints at my side and some good pencils, pens, and a sketch pad at Leo’s. Neither of us have mentioned the past few days – if we want to be happy, I imagine, it should be now. It’s a date; Me and Leo (Leo and I)  and the art store, not… Leo and me and the art store and… everything else. God, what have I dragged him into? He doesn’t- he doesn’t need this.

  But he must notice the death of my slight smile because his slips away too, and he purposefully yet gently bumps into my shoulder with a concerned twist of his expressive eyebrows. “Hey, you okay, Luz?”

  Am I ever?

  I’m trying to push the emotions away, far away. I can’t let them ruin this moment. It’s too important to me. Leo’s… too important to me. “Yea,” I say, observing the air from my mouth as it becomes visible just like he did when I first caught up with him. I get a strange feeling.

  It’s obvious he doesn’t buy it and he, being no-one else but Leo, stops with a worried (and then understanding) shift in his eyes. “Is- this about yesterday? Because I- I did say I was- again, I’m- sorry if I overstepped- “

  “No, it’s not… I dunno. The past few days have just been… insane. It’s terrifying. And… I’m scared. Of what that’ll make me do.”

  Leo shuffles where he’s standing. It’s not an alarmed sort of shuffle, merely a sad one, as if he knows what I’m referencing and is familiar with the emotion(s) I’m trying to convey. It makes my heart break a little bit. No-one should have to understand. “Yea.”

  “But I’m glad- that you’re here. You don’t have to stay, but you do.” I stop speaking there because I’m upset I might reveal a bit too much. It’s startling how fast the mood changed.

  “Well, you’ll always have me.” It’s so quiet I wonder if I made it up entirely or if I just misheard what he said. Part of me hopes it was really what he meant to murmur, even if the rest of me feels too fuzzy inside at the hummed declaration to have an opinion yet.

  Then the moment has passed and he looks like he did before, flashing me a grin as he continues walking towards the store where are cars are at. I let it go and fall into step behind him. “Want me to drive you home?” He asks, twirling to walk backwards so he can watch my expression as I answer.

  “Okay.”

  The air around my house, I know, is no different than the air anywhere else, but it… experiences unique. Leo doesn’t mention the fact that I live in an apartment (because why should he, my mind supplies), instead focusing on teasing me about my hair (which now looks as bad as his). I’m tempted to point out his light jacket in return, because honestly it’s been bothering me since the beginning, but I leave it alone with a smile.

  “I had a good time,” he suddenly says. I look over at him.

  “So did I,” I respond, softly. I think it comes out a lot less awkwardly than I considered it might.

  “We should do it again.”

  “I agree.”

  So, nervously, he glances at me, and moves a little closer. (Finally, that sense of awkwardness I’ve been waiting for this whole damn date fills me). I know what he’s doing.

  And then he does it. It’s quick, almost misses because he’s shaking a bit. It’s clear this isn’t his first kiss, just as it isn’t mine – but this one seems like it matters. A lot more.

  Then he waves, even though we’re a foot apart now, and just hums “I’ll see you at work?” before sprinting across the apartment parking lot, back to his car and away from me.

- sher

#31

Day 31

The end of January. For most people, that means the end of striving for a New Year’s Resolution, or the beginning of a next phase, or the beginning of the end of something. Anything.

For me, I feel like it’s the end.

The end of… Something.

My phone was quiet for most of the morning. I worked until two today, then went home and fed Ember, puttering around making lunch for myself and tidying up.

I sat down and painted for a while, not really striving for anything but to get colour on the canvas. It looks like the stuff that I used to do while still in school. Not bad, just… Different.

January 31st feels like the end. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever, yet not long at all.

Time has moved so slowly. Every day felt like a decade, but it still feels like only hours ago that I had that rough rope fixed around my neck and the cool wood of the chair beneath my feet. Thirty-one days.

A century.

You are only thirty-one days old, dear diary, and yet I feel like you know me more than any other force on the planet. You are older than time. Older than myself. Civilizations were born and died in your lifespan, watching over each of these thirty-one days with the cool composure of a stone sentinel. Never offering your wisdom, nor telling my secrets.

The secrets, the musings, the crossed-out, scribbled words kept beneath your bindings carry more weight than Atlas carried on his shoulders.

For me, anyway.

To a random passer-by, to a person on the street, they are meaningless. Imperceptive eyes would skim past, reading the words written on my heart turned inside-out and wonder what they could mean. One could look up each word in a dictionary, find the definitions and the nuances in the English language, but would one find the meaning?

Do they mean much to you, diary? Are your arms tired and your back strained from carrying the leaden words I’ve scrawled upon you in a fever-pitch haste to exorcise them from myself? Some days I wonder if this is better for me than simply allowing everything to pass me by.

Writing it down makes all of these things seem real. It gives the passing of time sustinence, body, a corporeal form to drift through this apartment, just as much of a resident as Ember or myself.

Thirty-one days.

Thirty-one more opportunities for quiet car conversations. For walking around an art store and feeling like touching everything, dreaming up ways to use it, ways to craft it, ways to make it mine. For pizza, for ice skating, for crying on the small streets.

For being held.

For holding.

Thirty-one more days to allow the dust to gather on that length of rope.

Thirty-one more mornings to watch as other people go about theirs.

Thirty-one more evenings to sit and listen to the city while I make dinner.

Thirty-one more afternoons to actually create, something I haven't done properly in years.

Dear diary, here’s to the next thirty-one. --cryptidkickflip

#ADAO #entries #21 to 31 #january #2019 #writing #creative writing #collab #mass collaboration #art #doodle