#spent my entire sunday evening (and night too probably) giffing them

[taee]

will u make more gifs of iu and tae from the behind the scenes? ❤️🍞🥹

YES...currently working on them as we speak

#spent my entire sunday evening (and night too probably) giffing them #MY DAY CAN'T BE BETTER #answered #anon

[midnightsnyx]

Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk: part 6

summary: you absolutely hate Matthew Tkachuk so it’s just your luck when you wind up pregnant with his child. 

a/n: well... here it is lol 2(or 3?) weeks late. sorry for the wait, this chapter was just a bitch to write and every time i thought i was done, i wasn’t happy with it & i didn’t wanna post just for the sake of posting. but i stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish this, so technically it is sunday so im posting on schedule lol

im not sure how many parts are left to this story, maybe two or three + an epilogue but i haven’t decided yet. 

also, this gif made me feel things 😂

word count: 2.1k (i wish they were longer too but im doing the best i can😩)

warnings: none other than a couple swear words

Part 6

29 weeks

“What are you doing?”

“Researching how to murder someone and get away with it.” You mutter, typing where to buy a tiger in Google.

Becca gives you a wary look and sits next to you. “Everything okay?”

“No!” You groan in frustration, tossing your phone on the coffee table. “Matthew is driving me insane.”

She frowns. “Is he being an ass?”

“He’s being nice. Too nice.” You grumble, ignoring when Becca chuckles. “It’s like he’s trying to make up for missing the doctor’s appointment even though I told him I forgive him.”

Becca raises an eyebrow at you and you try to ignore her pointed look. “Do you though?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask defensively.

“You’re different around him now and I’m sure he’s noticed. It’s like you don’t trust him.”

You start to deny her accusation but stop to think about it. Were you more cautious around Matt lately? You certainly didn’t let yourself depend on him for things that you had been before, too afraid that he would let you down. You wanted to, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminding you that he’s let you down before and there’s always a chance he will again.

It’s as if Becca can read your mind because she shrugs. “You should be honest with him.”

However, something you’ve learned recently is that too much honestly can get you in trouble.

. . .

Sending Matt a text that said we need to talk, probably wasn’t the best approach because it took him approximately fifteen minutes to show up at your apartment and his is a half hour drive away from yours.

So his windblown hair and wide eyes really weren’t a surprise when you opened your front door.

“So, I think I should have worded that text a little better.”

“You think?” He huffs, walking past you when you step aside. He doesn’t even bother to take his shoes or jacket off, walking straight to the living room and turning to look at you.

“I’m sorry. For whatever I did.” He says and you groan.

“That’s the problem! Stop being sorry for things. It’s driving me nuts.”

He frowns and looks at you in confusion. “So… you don’t want me to be sorry for things?”

“I don’t want you to not be sorry for things, I just want you to stop being sorry for everything. It’s like you’re walking on eggshells around me.”

“I’m just trying to make-”

“Make up for missing the appointment.” you say, finishing his sentence. “I know.” your hand falls to your stomach and you sigh. “We’re going to be parents in less than three months. We need to start trusting each other.”

Matt slowly walks over to you and reaches out for your hand which you let him hold. His thumb rubs across the back of it and he nods.

“You’re right.”

You grin and lightly punch his shoulder with your free hand. “Of course I am. When am I ever wrong?”

He smiles, pulling you in for a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You ignore the way it makes your heart race because the last thing you need right now is your feelings for him to get even more confusing when you’re both finally on the same page.

Things are good now and you can’t risk messing it up.

. . .

31 weeks

He’s like a kid in a candy store, you’ve realized as you follow Matt around buy buy BABY. He has two carts, one already stocked full of things and the other slowly being filled. You stopped keeping count of how much everything costed an hour ago because the number started to make you queasy.

“He has enough clothes, Matty.” You whine, taking note of how Matt trips over his feet when you call him by that nickname. “and he’ll grow out of them before he even gets a chance to wear them.”

“Last one, I swear.” He says, holding up an outfit. “C’mon, how fucking cute is he going to look in this?”

“If his first word is a swear word, I’m going to kill you.” You mutter, taking the outfit from him and tossing it in the cart. Matt just grins and rests a hand on your stomach, hoping the baby will kick.

“How’s Joey?”

“Grayson is doing just fine.”

“We’re never going to come to an agreement on a name, are we?” he asks and you smile sweetly.

“Nope.”

He laughs and starts walking towards the checkouts.

“Did my mom tell you that they’re coming to visit?” He asks and you nod, recalling your conversation with Chantal. She’d called you first to make sure you were okay with the entire Tkachuk clan showing up. She knows how stressful pregnancy is and didn’t want to overwhelm you.

But you were ecstatic when she asked if it was okay for them to visit. You’ve grown to depend on her for any pregnancy questions over the past seven months and even when you needed some regular advice for everyday things, you sometimes texted her.

“Yeah, it’s Wednesday, right?”

Matt nods, smiling politely at the cashier as he starts loading every thing on the conveyor belt. You can tell that she’s a hockey fan by the way her eyes light up when she recognizes who he is.

“I’ve been meaning to ask if you can pick them up from the airport?” He asks, catching you off guard. “Their plane lands around noon and I won’t be back until later that night and I don’t really want them to have to take a cab.”

You’re a little surprised that he’s asking you to do this instead of paying someone or asking a close friend to do it instead. It’s an odd feeling, realizing that he trusts you with his family.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You tell him and his smile warms you to the bone.

. . .

You show up to the airport forty-five minutes early because you can’t decide if you should wait in the SUV for Matt’s family, or meet them in the airport. Would it be weird to wait for them inside like you would with your own friends or family? You double check your phone to make sure that Matt did tell them it was you picking them up because how weird would it be if they were expecting him only to find you waiting.

You’re definitely over thinking it but you find yourself standing at the gates when their plane lands.

Chantal is the first person you see and her face lights up and she scurries over to you, pulling you in for a soft hug.

“Oh, look at you!” She gushes, taking your hands in hers and holding you at arms length. “You’re glowing.”

Glowing isn’t exactly the word you would use because as much as you tried to look nice to pick them up, you’re still seven months pregnant, sweating because of the jacket you have on and most definitely are wearing odd shoes because you can no longer see your feet and Matt wasn’t here to check for you.

But you blush nonetheless, letting Keith, Taryn, and Brady hug you before starting to walk to baggage claim.

“Thank you for picking us up.” Chantal says and you smile.

“It’s nothing,” you say, brushing it off. “You’ve done a lot for me.”

“Anything I can do to help. I know how hard it is being pregnant with your man travelling a lot.”

You want to correct her when she calls Matt your man, but you don’t want to be impolite so you just nod.

“Speaking of your man,” Brady says in a teasing voice, “what time does he get in, again?”

“Around 8.” You say, ignoring the teasing tone and changing the subject to ask Taryn how school is going. You know you’ll hear more comments about the nature of your relationship with Matt from his brother but for now, you chat with Taryn and Chantal about plans for the baby.

. . .

Matt gave you a key to his apartment when you both realized that you spent more time at his these days then you did at your own so you don’t miss the knowing looks Chantal and Keith share when you use your key to unlock Matt’s apartment. You know they can tell it’s your key and not Matt’s because he painted it your favourite colour when he gave it to you.

“So do we get a sneak peak of the nursery?” Taryn asks hopefully and you nod, gesturing for her to follow you. Matt turned one of the guest rooms in to the nursery in his apartment. You haven’t done anything with yours yet because you and Matt were starting to wonder if after the baby is born, at least for a little while, the two of you should just live together. It would certainly make things much easier.

“It’s beautiful.” Chantal says, and you can see her eyes watering a little.

“We’re going to put up letters spelling his name above the crib.”

“Oh yeah, have you guys decided on a name yet?” Keith asks, testing the sturdiness of the crib by wiggling it a little.

“No.” You mutter. “We can’t agree on anything.”

“You’ll find something you both love eventually.” Chantal reassures you. “Now, please tell me my son has food in his fridge, because I’m going to cook dinner.”

You grin, realizing that she too knows how bad Matt is at keeping his fridge stocked. Before you started spending so much time here, you would be lucky if he had eggs in the fridge.

. . .

Matt arrives home just as dinner is cooked and you get to witness what a typical Tkachuk night must look like. There’s lots of chirps thrown but you can tell how close this family is and how much they care about each other. Especially when it comes to Matt and his mom and sister. He treats them like gold and it warms your heart to see it.

After dinner, you volunteer to clean up and you’re surprised when Keith offers to help. You’ve only spoken to him a few times before today and you don’t feel as close to him as you do with Chantal so it’s quiet while the two of you clear up the dishes.

Keith breaks the silence after a couple minutes, turning to look at you.

“I know Matthew can be a handful… but don’t give up on him, okay?”

You’re surprised to hear this coming from Keith because you were truthfully expecting Taryn or Brady to say something about it. Every time you and Matthew touched or spoke to each other, you noticed the knowing looks and soft smiles from the other Tkachuk family members.

It was like they knew something that neither you nor Matthew did.

You’re not sure what exactly to say so you just nod.

“I won’t.” You promise, realizing that you truly mean it.

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfiction #matthew tkachuk #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #calgary flames imagines #calgary flames fanficton #allies writing

[jamilelucato]

Faking It - Pt.1 [F. W.]

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader; Fred Weasley x reader.

Part 2  || Part 3

Summary: You’re a Slytherin dating Draco Malfoy and life is pretty normal until Fred Weasley decides that the best prank against Draco involves you; this won’t end well, will it?

*gif not mine

[y/h/c] = your hair colour; [y/e/c] = your eye colour.

Warnings: cheating, I guess

Words: 2k+

A/N: This might be my most non-canon fic ever since I don’t even know which year this fic passes on, so forgive me if you guys like it more when it’s faithful to the books. This is a series, so be free to ask if you wanna be tagged. 

—

Fred Weasley had a plan, and according to him, it was going to be the best prank he had ever thrown.

He had come with the idea after a match of Quidditch where Harry got severely injured by Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin's Seeker. Harry Potter kept claiming he was alright and Madam Pomfrey assured that it was just two weeks of wearing a plaster on his arm, but that was not enough for Fred. He was tired of Malfoy and his friends — and with his whole family since Harry pointed out that it was Draco's father who got Ginny in all the trouble on her first year.

George came to him, asking what they were going to do — the younger twin suggested dung bombs, but Fred thought that was too simple and they could get caught easily.

So Fred spent the whole weekend walking around Hogwarts, wishing for an idea to pop out. He even went to the library, and that was not something he usually did. However, the idea came just before he opened the first spellbook he saw in one of the shelves.

Not so far from him stood y/N, concentrated on the book she had in hands. The idea came instantly.

Y/N was a Slytherin one year younger than him that was most known to be Draco Malfoy's girlfriend. Fred could understand why Draco would pick you. You looked spicy, especially right at that moment, when you stood focused and bit your lower lip when the book got interesting.

Your (y/h/c) hair was in a high ponytail that made you look remarkably powerful. Generally, the twins avoided pranking you because, differently from your boyfriend, you were good at finding out the guilty, and you'd caught the twins many times before. Your (y/e/c) looked up from the book, and Fred quickly turned away, scared of what you'd think of him if you saw he had been staring.

What Fred didn't know was that you knew he was staring; you knew that since he had first laid eyes on you. You were expecting him to look away, but since he seemed unwilling to do so, you were about to use extreme measures. It wasn't needed though — once you laid eyes on him, he had turned his back on you.

Fred walked away from the library, running a little when he was out of your sight. The plan had come to him — he just needed to work out the details, and, for that, he'd require his brother.

George was in the courtyard, sitting on the floor with Angelina. She placed her head on his lap while he played with locks of her hair. They seemed peaceful, and Fred wondered how long would it take for both of them to accept they were in love. He expected he wouldn't have to take her for a second Ball — Fred took Angelina the first time to make his brother jealous, and George finally realized that he might like Angelina more than just as friends at the end of the event.

Angelina knew the troublemakers the twins were, so Fred wasn't worried about spilling the beans in front of her. He sat next to his brother and started telling George his idea.

"I've got the greatest prank ever — and the best part of it is that it can have thousands of other pranks while the biggest one is happening."

George stopped playing with the girl's hair and looked to his brother, expecting Fred to continue explaining.

"There's only one person that knows Malfoy's every step, only one person that can tell us his entire schedule," he proceeded.

"Potter?" George suggested, and Angelina gasped, holding a laugh. It was true that the boy who lived had some obsession towards Draco, but George didn't think he could know Draco's whole schedule.

"No, silly — Y/N," Fred answered, raising a brow as if he was saying something important.

"As if she's gonna tell us," George remarked, avoiding his brother's angry looks, and turning back to play with Angelina's hair.

"She could," Fred continued, "if she liked us enough."

"And how you're gonna make her like us?" George wondered, facing his twin again.

Even Angelina seemed curious as she looked up at the boys.

"Not both of us — just me," Fred raised a brow again, hoping his twin would get it, but he didn't. Fred sighed. "I'm gonna seduce her."

That was it. Angelina and George cracked up, laughing so hard and loud that the girl had to get up from George's lap so she could breathe properly.

"Yeah, pretty boy, I'd like to see you compete with Draco," Angelina said, still giggling.

"Was that suppose to mean?"

"Oi, Fred! Look at you — worn-out jumpers, same sneakers every day, you don't even brush your hair, I think..." Fred was offended by the remark and Angelina apologized, but she wasn't very serious when she said sorry. "I just said that because look at her and her boyfriend — have you ever seen those two without being formally dressed?"

"She's right, mate," agreed George, "Draco is always in his best suits, and he combs his hair in the right direction and everything."

"You are saying she couldn't fall for me?" Fred wondered out loud, looking down at himself. Yes, he was wearing one of his oldest jumpers that were far from formal, and his hair was a mess; however, that was just because it was Sunday. Or at least, that was what he told himself.

"I'm saying you're not her type," Angelina said, "and neither she's yours."

"Well, I don't have to fall for her, Angie," Fred pointed out, tilting his head while he said the nickname she hated so much. She didn't bother with it though, she probably knew the damaged her comments had made to his ego. "She's the one who has to fall for me. And it's just a prank — it'll last less than a month."

"It'll take longer than that to make she fall for..." Angelina almost insulted him, but she stopped, "you."

"Yeah, mate. Girls take longer to fall in love," George added.

"So I'll start tomorrow right away," Fred promised, more to himself than to the pair in front of him.

Y/N could be a pretty girl, but she was still a disgusting Slytherin that spoke ill of everyone around her, especially people from other houses. He'd have to be very careful around her, so he could avoid his disgust to come out.

"That'll be something I'll like to see," Angelina laid back at George's lap.

"You won't see it, Angie. I'm supposed to be her love affair, get it? No one's to know," Fred smirked, but Angelina just rolled her eyes.

George shrugged, paying more attention to the surrounding than to his twin.

"Well, if it works, it'll be much easier to prank Draco," George finally gave in, after thinking about it for a minute.

"That's the spirit, little brother!" Fred shouted, tapping his twin's back before leaving.

*** After a stop at Harry's dorm — Fred needed to take a quick peek at the Marauder's Map —, he left the Gryffindor's Tower and started rambling around towards where he knew he would find y/N.

He was wearing his best trousers combined with his newest white shirt — that one was actually part of the school uniform, but since it had no symbols on it, Fred thought it'd be enough. He combed his hair two times before he left his room, and he was not wearing sneakers, the first time in almost forever.

One would think he was dress to impress, and that was the truth. It was the first Monday night after he and his brother talked about pranking Draco Malfoy and dragging y/N y/L/N with him.

You were wandering around the dungeons, a privilege you held ever since the last Prefect was sick. Professor Snape pointed you out for the replacement, at least until the real Prefect got better, much to Mr Filch dismay. He did not like you, not even a bit, mostly because you and your boyfriend use to walk around, joking with every student that came to your encounter.

Although now you were a Prefect and therefore allowed to walk around, you avoided meeting Filch, because you knew he'd find a way to punish you. And that was what you were doing when you saw him.

You were not yet sure which Weasley twin that one was, and it was harder because of the way he was dressed. You had never seen the twins like that — so dressy. Of course, you'd seen people more formal than that, but for the Weasleys, that was too much.

His hair, differently than his usual style, was slicked back and his hands were carefully positioned inside his pockets. Was he heading to a date? You wondered.

"Mr Weasley, would you inform me where are you going after the curfew?" you asked, walking towards him.

He raised a brow, smirking at you.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he commented, and you noticed that besides well-dressed, he was also wearing a rather strong perfume. Very manly.

"Yes, I would, because I'll have to report it to your Head of House," you explained, smiling confidently.

You stared at him, but your eyes wandered to behind the tall red-head. Mr Filch seemed to be coming in your direction. You gulped, not knowing what to do. Punishing the Weasley would give you a week of special treatment from your Slytherin's friends, but was it enough being caught by the caretaker?

You had no more seconds to think.

"Come with me, Weasley, and walk quickly."

You hoped he was following you as you ran towards the secret passage not so much far away from where you two were chatting. You pulled the curtain aside, walking in a small compartment and you heard the curtain being pushed back at the place while you turned around, facing the Weasley, closer than you two had ever been before.

"Straight to the point, aren't you, y/N?" he said, smirking down at you. His perfume had filled the place, and you started breathing slowly to smell it less.

"Don't play smart, Weasley," you frowned, "We'll be leaving soon."

"As soon as Filch disappear?" he asked, and you rolled your eyes.

Whichever twin that was, he probably was as used as you to be running away from the caretaker.

"So you don't wanna be catch by him either," you smirked, crossing your arms.

"I'd much rather be caught by you," he said, trying hard to suggest second intentions.

"Would you now, Weasley?" you rolled your eyes again. It was so easy to find that family repugnant. "Don't think I've forgotten you're past curfew wandering around. I'll have to report you."

"You do that, baby."

"Don't — Don't call me 'baby'!" you shouted, slapping his arm.

He wasn't hard by your action, which surprised you. You were usually rather strong, at least, Draco hated when you tried to slap him.

You two stayed in silence — he didn't dare speak again, and you had no idea what to say. It was an uncomfortable moment, one that you were not used to. The place you two were hiding was rather small — and you knew it very well as you used to go there to kiss Draco when you two weren't official yet. You thought what would he think if he caught you there with a Weasley, and the thought scared you.

"You think he's gone?" you asked.

"Hope not," replied the twin and frowned.

"Be better, would you?"

You pulled the curtain to open just a bit and took a peek around.

"We're free," you warned, just then noticing how closer to the Weasley you were. How stupid was your idea of looking out for Mr Filch when the boy was closer to the curtain? Merlin, you looked ridiculous now, almost supported by his body.

You adjusted your posture, getting away from the red-haired boy as fast as you could and gulped.

"You go first," you signalized with your hand.

"What if he's still out there?"

"Then you'll get caught, wouldn't you?" your rhetorical question echoed around the small space and the boy finally walked out. You followed.

You took a last peek around.

"Well, Weasley, that's it. I'm gonna report you now."

"I'd gladly tell everyone the two minutes we spend together behind this curtain, y/N," he said, smiling, "You known, in case someone asked how I got caught."

Oh, shit, he was up to play dirty. You sighed; there was nothing you could do. If Draco heard about it... Oh, Merlin. Besides, you didn't even know which Weasley was that, so what would you tell McGonagall? "I saw George Weasley walking around, past-curfew" and then she'd say "That's a lie, honey, he was talking with me in detention all night." Reporting the boy was fated to fail from the beginning.

"You are free of charges, Weasley. But don't get used to it. I'll report you next time I see you walking around."

"If next time you see me, we spend another two minutes in a small hidden spot again, then I'd be happy to be reported," he smirked and started walking away from you.

You were exploding in anger. Who that boy thought he was? Was he really trying to — argh, the word disgusted you — seduce you? Did he think he could?

In the middle of the night, you let out a dry laugh that cut the silence rather loudly. Just what you needed — another reckless boy to cause problems in your life. Wasn't Draco enough?

PART 2 HERE

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x slytherin reader #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley #fred and george #fred and george weasley #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin reader #prank #hogwarts #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #fred weasley imagine

[writersrealmbts]

A Natural: Part 5

Description: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader: You’re a single mom, and your son is your entire world. When you take him to get his first hybrid, his choice is pretty bewildering, until you realize that he was picking out a dad.

Posted: 05/24/2020

Tags: Taehyung, Hybrid Taehyung, Human Reader

Wordcount: 1,906

A/N: Oh look, another series that was never supposed to be a series. And I had to pick a new series gif because it wouldn’t show up. 

Taehyung woke you up gently, pressing kisses to your cheeks, nose and forehead.

You sighed and stretched. “Mmm, what time is it?”

“Seven,” He whispered, tilting your chin slightly so he could kiss your lips. “You said you wanted to get there early.”

You nodded. “It’s his first day of physical therapy. He was scared. Jin send any updates?”

“Haven’t checked. You okay?” He asked, feeling your forehead.

“Just tired. Always tired. I wish there was a miracle cure that I could give him. Or that I could take his pain and he could continue to be my rambunctious baby.” You buried your face in his shoulder, sighing in frustration.

The past three weeks had been exhausting. You couldn’t recall a single night where you felt like you went to bed with some scrap of mental, emotional, or physical strength. They had woken Theo up about a week and a half after he was admitted, and he had taken it well since he was still so groggy. But you hardly left his side for the first three days. The only reason you left on the fourth was because of work. You had to pay for the medical bills somehow. Now they were thinking he was healed enough to start some very minor physical therapy. He didn’t have feeling from about mid-shin down, but his brain had healed well. The doctors didn’t think there was any lasting damage now. He got the casts off of his legs and his collarbone was healed, so they were really happy with how he was recovering so far.

Taehyung spent most of his days at the hospital, and Jin and Jimin alternated nights to help you two out.

Yoongi bought you lunch most days, and visited Theo on the weekends. Bringing movies to binge and board games to play.

Theo always perked up when Yoongi got there on Saturday morning.

Namjoon brought Hoseok whenever the two didn’t have too much work, and he would bring in music stuff—instruments or tracks—to entertain Theo.

Theo loved Namjoon’s music visits, just as he loved music class the most.

Hoseok still had to catch up on some grading, and recovering his class from a week with a substitute teacher on top of his own bit of physical therapy for his leg injury. He still obviously felt guilty, but he also helped Theo learn things he was missing in class. He had told you that the kids would ask after Theo, and they even sent in get-well-soon cards.

Theo kept saying he couldn’t wait to go back to school.

Jimin drew cartoons on Theo’s casts before they were removed and Theo loved them so much that he insisted Jimin teach him how to draw, and now there were drawings everywhere.

Taehyung kissed your collarbone. “Hey, you okay?”

“Just…waking up.” You curled into him.

He chuckled sleepily. “No, you’re not.”

“Are you telling me that you’re awake?”

He gave a sleepy sounding hum. “Not really, but I know we need to get up.”

You nodded, yawning into his chest and then rolling away from him and getting up in one movement.

“Hey, Jimin texted me to call him,” Taehyung said, frowning at his phone.

You sighed. “It probably has something to do with his parents. You better call him.”

He made an almost growling sound at the mention of Jimin’s parents—who had been a continual pain in the ass through this whole process—but he calls Jimin.

You don’t pay attention much while he talks to Jimin, getting ready for the day, and only noticing that something was wrong when Taehyung growls again.

He’s pacing along his side of the bed, not saying anything but there’s a steady growl in his throat. “He starts his therapy today!”

You flinch when he scoffs, and worry fills you at the frown creasing his forehead.

“What am I supposed to tell Y/n, Jiminie?!”

“I’d suggest the truth if you want everyone to live,” You said, eyes narrowed.

He looked up and gulped. “Can I make him explain it?”

You were already in front of him, taking the phone. “What’s going on?”

“My parents…they caused a scene here and the doctors decided to reschedule his physical therapy…since my parents ordered a DNA test.” Jimin sounded apologetic.

“What do they expect to get from a DNA test?” You asked, feeling bile rise in your throat.

“I don’t know, but I’m on top of it, they won’t make a move I don’t know about. I’ll stay with him all day, okay?”

“Jimin, why did they order a DNA test?”

He was quiet, and you heard him huff out a breath. “Because they want to see if he’s actually who we claim and maybe add him to their will if he is,” He said, sounding frustrated.

“Which means they’d try to take him away from me?”

“Possibly. If you didn’t want to comply with their standards.”

“Which I won’t.” You glared at the wall. “Your family sucks.”

“I know. It’s probably better if you stay away, though, that’ll delay things because they need your permission to do the DNA testing.”

You froze. “But—”

“I’ll keep her away,” Tae said, loud enough to be heard, and taking the phone. “Call us if Theo needs her.”

You stared in disbelief as he said goodbye to Jimin and then hung up.

He looked back at you. “It’s for the best, anyway. You’re exhausted.”

“I can’t sleep, not now,” You argued.

“There’s more than just physical exhaustion,” He rebutted, then leaned in and kissed you. “He’s safe with friends. Yoongi will be there later today, with Namjoon and Jimin, just like they planned and they’ll play games with Theo.”

“I barely ever there—”

“You practically live there,” He cut you off with a whine. “Please, I know you’re tired. I know. It’s been a really hard month. But Theo’s being looked after really well. All of the nurses adore him because he’s so sweet and polite. It’s time to take care of yourself.”

You tilted your head, at a loss for words.

He stepped closer, and arms wrapping around your waist after he tossed the phone onto the bed. His lips met yours softly. “It’s time to forget you’re a mom for a few minutes. Just…be you. Be who you were before you were a mom.”

“I don’t know who that is,” You whispered.

“Then just be the person you are with me,” He whispered back, voice low and deep.

You sighed and surrendered to him, allowing him to pull you into a series of lingering kisses.

“Dress up a bit, lets go out.” He murmured, tail swooshing behind him. “Or, well…let’s go for a picnic.”

You stepped back slightly, uncertain.

“Please, Y/n. We both need to let go for a while.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek.

And you gave in, nodding. “Okay, but…I don’t know…I don’t want to deal with other people.”

“Then we’ll have a picnic in the backyard. You get ready, and I’ll go get things set up and then if you could make us sandwiches?”

You nodded.

“Then we’ll have a nice little date,” He said, grinning at you as his fingers brushed your cheek. Then his shoulders scrunched happily with his face and he practically skipped out of the room. “Remember, wear pretty clothes!”

“O-okay…” You called back, then frowned at your closet door. “I don’t know if I have anything?”

You went into your closet, looking for something pretty that was also middling between casual and Easter Sunday high teas that you used to go to at your grandmother’s senior home while she was alive.

Instead you found frustration and work clothes. Some clothes you might wear to parent-teacher conferences, or to one of the school events.

But the only date-like thing you found in your closet was from before Theo was conceived and you weren’t about to try that on. You knew how your body had changed since then and didn’t need the reminder from your closet. You’d sort of squeezed into it the last time you’d worn it anyway, and you had more hip now.

Sure, you probably had more clothes in that box, but you knew most of the clothes in ther

Taehyung came back when you had been in there for too long. “What’s wrong?”

“No clothes,” You muttered. “Nothing to wear.”

He tilted his head, then came over to look through your clothes. He pulled out a sweater and a skirt, handing them to you. “It’s a little cold outside, so maybe leggings?”

You looked over the outfit and then at him, surprised. “Um…yeah…okay.”

He nodded and walked out. “I’ll make sandwiches!”

You heard your bedroom door close, and started changing. You were surprised at how well he managed to find an outfit for you, but then again, he dressed so well himself, even on a minimal budget.

And it was a nice, casual date outfit.

You did your hair a little, and your makeup a little more. Actually put on earrings and a necklace.

Taehyung was plating sandwiches, making things look nice.

You looked outside in surprise. “It’s raining?”

He looked out as well. “Yeah. It just started. But we can still have a picnic. It’ll just have to be a living room picnic. I already cleared the space and….” He trailed off when he looked at you. His expression softened and he smiled. “Wow, y/n. You look so beautiful.”

You could have blushed, and you might have blushed from the way he was looking at you. “It’s been a while.”

“You always look beautiful,” He added, sincerity in all of his features and gestures. He took your hands in his, tail slowly swishing. “Thank you for agreeing to do this with me.”

You nodded, looking at the ground, unable to meet his gaze.

“Ooh, can I put a fire in the fireplace?”

You nodded again, stealing glanced at him as he excitedly went to turn on the gas fireplace.

Then he dimmed the lights some, and finished arranging blankets and pillows.

“Alright, I think that covers it, sorry we’re only having sandwiches.”

“I can live with sandwiches,” You replied softly, letting him lead you over to sit in the picnic area. You got comfortable while he hurried back to get the plate of sandwiches. You didn’t know your living room could feel so romantic.

He brought over the food and drinks on the bed-tray, setting it down. “It’s just grape juice, but I thought the glasses made it feel more romantic.”

You smiled. “Does. I didn’t even know the living room could look like this.”

He grinned. “We should make it look like this more often.”

You laughed a little.

He kept your laughing a little as the two of you ate, telling you stories and drawing stories of your family out.

You moved the tray and sat beside him, leaning on his shoulder.

He was still for a moment before relaxing into it. He kissed your forehead, then kept telling you about a movie he had seen.

You stared into the fire, listening to his voice. It was so soothing, so wonderfully perfect.

His lips met yours softly, then parted to lightly brush your cheeks. “I love you, y/n.”

You sighed happily, eyes staying shut. “I love you, Taehyung.”

Previous.  Next.

Taehyung Masterpost.  Masterlist.  

Taglist (must comment on taglist to be tagged from now on)

Tagging: @rosita7703, @ephemeral-mindset @forvever-ddaeng  @ncttzuuy @givebuckysomelove @alex--awesome--22  @missmoxxiesworld  @bryvada @knjhe  @i-dont-even-know-fck @young-yellkie @veryuniquenamegoeshere @lottohsehunnie​ @briramirezalipio​ 

Unable to tag: @bunnyboyenthusiast (think you changed to @kthstrawberryshortcake​ please let me know if I’m wrong or right because I have you listed for multiple stories)

#single mom reader #kim taehyung #taehyung #bts v #reader x taehyung #taehyung x reader #hybrid!taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #hybrid!au #hybrid!bts #bts #bts fic #bts x reader #adoptedfather!taehyung #parent au #a natural fic

[adiwriting]

Sunday Mornings 12/?

So this started out as a cute little fic of the boys being doggy daddies... and quickly it turned into phone sex. So... heed that warning. 

If anyone has any prompt fills for this, let me know. I’m slowly running low on my own ideas for domestic bliss fic! 

Gif by the lovely @manesalex​

Week 12

The phone rings so early in the morning that it’s still dark outside. Of course the sound causes the three littlest ones on the bed to jolt awake and start barking. Michael groans, reaching out to grab his cell phone off of the nightstand without moving too much. He’s worried if he sits up that John will go tumbling off of his chest and to the floor. It wouldn’t be the first time. His smallest child really is an uncoordinated mess. 

When Michael is able to pull his phone to his face, he smiles when he sees an incoming FaceTime call from Alex. 

“You woke up the children,” he playfully admonishes Alex in lieu of a formal greeting. Alex has been away on a training for the last several days and isn’t due back home until Tuesday. 

“Sorry,” Alex says, not looking sorry in the least. “I have to report in thirty minutes and I didn’t want to leave for work without seeing you guys.” 

Michael smiles at that. Or, he would, but Peter, little shit that he is, climbs over his face in order to see his daddy properly. 

“Hey baby!” Alex says, his entire face lighting up. “Are you being a good boy for your old man?” 

Michael rolls his eyes and Peter literally sits on his face. He most certainly did not agree to being called ‘old man’ and every time he says as much to Alex, Alex makes sure to use it that much more. The fact that Peter is also a little shit is one hundred percent Alex’s influence. 

Michael lets Peter say hi for a minute before he reaches up and grabs him, moving him to his chest so that Michael can breathe properly and Alex can see more than just Peter’s nose. Wendy and John squeeze themselves into the frame as well to say hello. 

Alex spends a solid minute greeting each of them personally and Michael has to bite back a goofy smile at the way they all get excited to hear their name and attempt to reach Alex through the phone. 

“So we’re letting the puppies sleep in our bed now?” Alex asks, amused once he’s done saying good morning to the littles. 

“They missed you,” Michael says defensively, not bothering to mention that it is indeed Michael who misses Alex and he’s been letting the puppies sleep in the bed so it won’t feel so big and empty. 

“That’s very sweet,” he says. “If they pee on the comforter I’m gonna be mad.” 

He has a fair point. Which is why Michael had thought ahead and stripped the bed and replaced the linens with the cheap sheets they only ever use on laundry day.

“Aww, come on babe, you can’t be mad the dogs are in the bed. Look at our girl,” he says, flipping the camera around and pointing it at Bell, who is currently under the covers next to Michael with her head on Michael’s pillow, eyeing the entire thing skeptically, but not running away, which is progress. 

“Oh my god, when did this happen?” Alex asks, his hands coming up to his mouth as his eyes water. 

Bell has been home with them for three whole weeks and has spent most of her time under their bed. So much time, in fact, that Alex and Michael have taken turns hanging out under the bed with her so she wouldn’t be alone. She would only ever leave to go outside during the day. They’ve had to keep their master bedroom door open at night because the only time she’d venture into the kitchen to eat is during the middle of the night when the entire house is asleep. 

“Two nights ago, I woke up to her crawling under the blanket from the foot of the bed. I was gonna text you, but I didn’t wanna jinx it,” he says. “She still goes under the bed when anyone knocks on the door, but otherwise this is her new spot.” 

Michael flips the camera back around as Peter tries to lick the phone and Michael has to hold it above his head and out of reach. 

“Well that’s certainly progress,” Alex says with a smile and Michael agrees. 

Wendy barks at the blanket when Michael moves his foot and pounces at it and John stands up to egg her on. 

“Jesus, it’s too early for this shit,” Michael says with a laugh even as he moves his foot around and watches Wendy jump around at the foot of the bed trying to attack whatever beast she assumes is under the sheet. 

“I feel bad leaving you with all four of them yourself,” he says. “I know they’re a handful.”

A handful, they certainly are. But that’s not the reason that Michael is annoyed that Alex had to go away this week. Despite his loud protest for weeks about getting a dog, Michael is completely satisfied with their crazy brood. 

“I feel worse about you being gone on a Sunday.” Michael pouts at the camera and Alex lets out a groan. 

“I know, why do you think I called you so early?” he says. “I wanted to at least pretend that we woke up in bed together before I had to go through another one of these long ass days.” 

Michael wants that too. It’s crazy, in a matter of weeks, Michael has completely forgotten how to sleep alone. 

“Next time the stupid military decides to send you somewhere, I’m throwing the kids in the airstream and we are coming with you,” he says. 

Alex’s soft smile tells him that he wants that too, even as he questions, “And give Bell a nervous breakdown? Wouldn’t that make us bad parents?” 

“We’ll train her up,” Michael says, he’s about to say more, when John starts circling around, doing his potty dance. 

“Nope!” Michael yells, grabbing John and shooting out of bed. He rushes to the back door, letting him out, before he can poop in the house. Unsurprisingly, his siblings run after him and head outside as well. Perfect. The kids are officially up, everyone’s out of bed except for Bell, and there’s no way Michael is getting back to sleep. It’s not even six in the morning. 

He sighs, pulling the phone back up. 

“Sorry,” Michael apologizes. “I should probably let you go or something.” 

“Wait,” Alex calls out before he can hang up. Michael gives him a questioning look. “I just want to look at you for another minute.” 

Michael blushes at that, stepping out onto the patio to take a seat at one of the chairs, watching the kids run around the yard, distracted for a few minutes. 

“Is that all I am to you? A pretty face?” he asks in mock outrage. 

“Basically.” 

“I want to be loved for more than just my beauty you know,” he teases him. 

“Oh, I appreciate your mind as well.” Alex’s eyes darken and he licks at his lower lip in the way that always turns Michael on. He reaches down to rub at himself through his sweatpants, and he doesn’t have to be able to see all of Alex… The look on his face tells him that he’s doing the same thing. 

“My mind was it?” Michael asks, as he starts to get hard. He flips the camera so that Alex can see the tent in his pants. 

“I hate you,” Alex groans and shifts around on the bed until he’s resting back against the pillows. 

Michael can just picture him, laying out, feet on the mattress, knees spread, and touching himself. He glances around to make sure the puppies are still distracted before he slips his hand under the waistband to touch himself properly, letting out a moan as he does. 

“Fuck, Michael.” Alex bites his lip and it does things to Michael. 

“Yes please,” he says, not even embarrassed by how breathy it comes out. “Hurry before the kids want my attention again.” 

Alex laughs, but angles his camera down so that Michael can see his hand pumping himself slowly under the thin sheet. Michael slows down his own pumping to match Alex’s pace, trying to picture it’s Alex beside him, touching him. 

“You say the sexiest things,” Alex says. 

“You love it.” 

His breath catches as the sheet covering Alex drops and he can see him in all of his glory. Alex lets go of his dick to lick at his palm before returning back to touching himself. Michael practically whines. Alex paints a positively filthy picture and if he hadn’t upgraded both of their phones with some military grade encryption software he’d be worried… But they are safe and Michael can enjoy this moment with zero guilt.

“I love you,” Alex says. 

Despite the fact that both of them are touching themselves, breathing heavily, and moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear if they were awake, Michael positively melts at Alex’s words. Alex always makes sure that Michael never feels like they are just having sex. They make love every single time. 

“I love you, too,” Michael whispers, slowing his pace so that he is able to get the words out without sounding like a damn porn star. 

Alex changes the camera angle so that his entire face comes back into view and while Michael was enjoying watching Alex touch himself, he has to admit, he’d rather get off to this view instead. Alex is so fucking beautiful. 

“I should be the one touching you right now,” he says, and it sounds sad. 

Michael drops his grip on himself and sits up, watching Alex’s face carefully. Somehow, his tired eyes had missed it before, but he can see it now. The weight Alex is carrying in his shoulders. The stress around his eyes. Michael isn’t the only one feeling the distance between them. He wants to ask Alex about the training, but Michael already knows that whatever the military has Alex working on is classified and Alex isn’t allowed to say. And while Alex may disregard the military’s need for secrecy when it comes to anything alien related, he’s a stickler for it with everything else. 

“You’ll be home in two days and then you can do all the touching you want,” Michael assures him. 

Alex smiles, and though it doesn’t completely erase the stress, it’s something. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” 

“You can hold me to more than that, Baby,” he says with a wink that has Alex laughing again. 

“Are you gonna come with me or not?” Alex asks and Michael’s not a complete idiot. He flips the camera around, pulls his pants down, and gives Alex a show. After all, his soldier deserves to know what he’s coming back home to, does he not? 

Tagged: @callieramics​ @redstalkingdeath​

If anyone else would like to be tagged- let me know! 

PS- if anyone wants to see the inspiration photos for Bell in this fic, here you go:

#roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex fic #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #doggy daddies #domestic bliss #fic: sunday mornings

[smolbeandrabbles]

Almost Maybes - Ralph Anderson x Jeannie Anderson (The Outsider)

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

Happy Birthday @mandy23b​ 😘💕

May I proudly present to you, your babies!

Author’s Note: Pretty much entirely book canon and references, which is how we like things in this house!

I’m not gonna lie, when I very first heard this song (in... April?) I thought about it as a Ralph song, and then a Ralph/Jeannie concept and I knew that if I was going to do it - I would write it for you for your Birthday, so, it’s been a little while in the making, to say the least!

I hope you enjoy, and that you don’t mind that it’s not a reader insert for your birthday 🎁💙

Love you lots @mandy23b​! 😘😘

Almost Maybes - Jordan Davis

Disclaimer: Show watchers only, a whooole bunch of book references ahead / The Outsider & characters belong to Stephen King / gifs & lyrics not mine

Premise: Ralph reminisces on everything that has led to him being right here, right now...

Words: 1452

Warnings: N/A - literally there is more swearing in the lyrics than there is anything in the story.

_______

I had one saying we were done In a Baton Rouge college bar It kinda came out of nowhere Man, I took that one pretty hard And I had another one in another town And I spent a whole lot of nights missing her 'Til it all went black, she stopped texting back And I finally got the picture So here's to the almost, so close It's over out of the blues Here's to the "hey, I think we need to talk" And the "it ain't me, it's you" Here's to the tears and beers and wasted years On the weeds that looked like daisies I wouldn't be sitting here next to you If it weren't for the almost maybes Here's to the one that my family thought Was gonna make me drop to one knee And I tried like hell, but I couldn't help My mama loved her more than me And to all those July crushes Turning into September leavin's Goodbyes that didn't feel good back then It happened for a real good reason Wouldn't be no all alones Wouldn't be no sad songs Wouldn't be no had enough Pick yourself up and get to moving ons From the didn't work outs The girls next door and the bat shit crazies There wouldn't be no you and me right now If it weren't for the almost maybes No, it wouldn't be no you and me right now If it weren't for the almost maybes

---

It was a fairly quiet day in the Anderson household – which all three of them could be glad of. Derek had been to Summer camp again this year and, having only been back a few weeks, Ralph was trying to encourage ample family time. Today, though, he’d let his son off and let him sleep in until 12pm (probably). Ralph was sitting out in the backyard, staring out across the grass even though he wasn’t really looking at anything. Instead, and probably why he was letting Derek sleep in, Ralph was doing some reminiscing. It wasn’t often he thought about his life before his family; probably because there wasn’t much to think about. Nothing particularly worth highlighting: he and his brother had drifted apart and only shared the occasional holiday or birthday card. There wasn’t really anything of note in his career either, sure he had plenty of horrifying stories from his early days at Flint City PD – but that was all overshadowed by the events of the previous summer. (And who in their right mind would want to reminisce any of that?!) The only good thing about last summer was meeting Holly. Instead Detective Anderson was reminiscing on how exactly he got to be right here, right now. How did he arrive at this moment in time, with the son he was allowing to sleep in… and Jeannie. Ralph wasn’t really one to go around proclaiming his love from the rooftops, but if he felt the need to ever get sappy… Well, there wasn’t any other words for it, she was the love of his life. Arguably the only love he’d ever really had. Which is what he was thinking on right now. Sure he’d had crushes, high school girlfriends, college girlfriends… summer romances and then the kinds of ‘love’ that lasted about as long as Spring Break. Geez, that’s too long ago to want to think about! But Jeannie was like none of those, there was no all-consuming passion or ever the belief of holding onto something and making it work just because… Sure he’d had those fast-heart-beat do-not-screw-this-one-up-Ralph! Your-life-depends-on-it! moments when he’d first met her. But Jeannie always made everything so easy; Ralph worked hard for her because he loved her, because he wanted to be impressive – not just good boyfriend material, but husband material… and then father material. Now he could think back to 15 years ago when she’d come rushing to him to announce the result of her pregnancy test: as scary as the Outsider? Well it had been to him at the time. Jeannie was his best friend; she had been for 25 years. And to him, that was what really mattered. They had stuck together through everything: good and bad, the very toughest of times – and Ralph could also count a fair few of those. He laughed to himself, suddenly remembering some of the break ups. He and Jeannie had had many an argument and disagreement but they’d never fought; not in the way that had ever had him thinking they wouldn’t make it. Ralph fretted more that they wouldn’t make it because he wasn’t good enough for her; worried over that one for years, even when they’d first got married. He’d probably never been more nervous than asking her father for his blessing… then more terrified that she’d simply say no. But some of the other break ups. Sometimes the arguments were just plain funny to think back on – even if they hadn’t been at the time. Ralph had taken plenty of rejections pretty hard, that when he examined them in hindsight revealed he’d probably dodged bullets. Oh, he’d done his fair share of breaking up with people – some had even been pretty amicable! – but there was some bad mixed in too, one so awkward that Ralph hadn’t even been able to tell her he was breaking up with her because she wouldn’t stop crying. Yeah, probably best not to reflect on that one… It took a little time for him to realise she’d been calling him. “-Honey, are you alright!?” “Oh!” He smiled instantly, “Yeah, sorry, I-” She shook her head at him gently, there was no need for an explanation, Jeannie already knew. “Would you like coffee?” He nodded, “That would be great!” “White and sweet?” “Like me!” Ralph beamed, stealing Jeannie’s favourite phrase – it’s what she always said. He at least raised a laugh from her as she headed back inside and he watched her go, still beaming. That immediately set his mind to good things, for they had shared many more of those. In fact, Ralph wasn’t the only one with previous horror story relationships. He and Jeannie had had many a giggle together about some of her own. When he was a little younger Ralph used to joke about arresting anyone who had formerly broken her heart – if he were honest with himself, he’d probably still do it. She joined him then, placing his coffee down on the garden table she sat beside him, hands around her own. Jeannie sighed contentedly as she took her first sip – comfortable in the silence and Ralph’s presence as they observed their garden together. “So, what’s on your mind today, Mr. Anderson?” “Oh…” He shifted with a shrug, “Nothing exciting, previous relationships. Everything that lead to me being here.” She looked across to him with a raised eyebrow, almost choking on her next sip, “Lord, that seems a little deep for a Sunday morning!” “I can be deep, sometimes!” She laughed at that, the way Ralph folded his arms but couldn’t keep that scowl up. Eventually instead he held his hand out for hers, and Jeannie was only too glad to slip her hand into his. Ralph squeezed hers gently, “I love you, you know that?” “Hmm, occasionally.” She couldn’t help her tease, taking another sip, “What’s gotten into you?” He sighed, “I dunno… I just…” “You know that Derek isn’t going to rise until early afternoon too, right?” It was past time for Ralph to drag him out of bed, anyway. “Well that’s part of it.” “What is?” Jeannie tipped her head gently at the way her husband was chewing the inside of his mouth. “Spending time together… Y’know? He’ll be heading to college before we know it and I just don’t want to miss-” “Ralph, Ralph!” She calmed him, “Sweetie, we have years yet, first you think too much on the past and then too much on the future! Don’t you give that brain of yours a rest?” She knew the answer, but Ralph shook his head anyway, “Can’t.” Her voice was soft, and she placed her mug down to gather his hand between both of hers, “You can.” “Okay, but… I was thinking about you too, you know?” There was suddenly that smile he loved so much upon her face, “Of course I do.” And his face lit up too, “I know exactly what you’re thinking, Ralph, I know you.” “Better than anyone.” He agreed, “Sometimes it’s scary.” Jeannie laughed again, “Well I figure sometimes I gotta be scary, or nothing would get done.” “Eh.” Although he wouldn’t quite disagree, “…I’d rather you be scary than some of our exes!” This time her laugh was infectious and he couldn’t help but chuckle as she placed a hand to her temple, “Oh, please! NO! Ralph-! I haven’t had to think about ex loves in 25 years, I shouldn’t like to start now!” “I just got thinking, if it wasn’t for all these people before you and everything I learned, I don’t think I’d ever be with you.” He’d screwed up before, more times than he’d probably care to admit, but Ralph couldn’t ever have afforded to with Jeannie. You know when you know; and Ralph had, almost immediately. Jeannie wasn’t about to let him take all the ‘credit’; “I messed up a bunch of times too.” She was as glad for it as he was, and despite her words, she knew he was right. Without all that, she wouldn’t be here holding his hand and wishing that Derek would wake up a little earlier without being forced to. “It was only ever really you.” She nearly blushed, “It was only ever really you, too.” “Oh?” He raised an eyebrow with a cocky grin, “That good, am I?” Jeannie shook her head, leaning across the table, Ralph leant in too, to accept her kiss. As sweet as their very first, and just as unforgettable as every kiss she’d ever given him. He chased her; one kiss wouldn’t be enough this morning. She had no complaints, he tasted just like the sugar in his coffee. That only had Jeannie laughing again, “You’ll do!”

---

Thank you for reading!!! 🥰🥰

#Happy Birthday Amanda! #Ralph x Jeannie #The Outsider HBO #The Outsider #hbos the outsider #Jeannie Anderson #Ralph Anderson #Ralph Anderson x Jeannie Anderson #Ben Mendelsohn #I was so on the edge of Andrew again but I had *this* idea ages ago #Knew it'd be /perfect/ for you #and it's a little different and I... #I just really hope you like it hun! #Hope I did them justice in my second go of writing them... #I think it's a little better than the first but I like /Trouble/ also #187

[bangtan-madi]

All Of Our Lifetimes — Five: Requiem

Pairing — Taehyung x Reader

Tags — boyfriend!Taehyung, husband!Taehyung reincarnation au, lovers to strangers and to lovers again, established relationship, implied soulmate au

Genre — fluff, angst, crime (ish)

Word Count — 2.5k

Summary — Does love ever truly end, or does it simply take another form in a new life? The cycle is like clockwork: your lives end and you’re reborn again. You’ve lived it over and over. Each cycle, one of you loses your memories and is tragically unaware until the other finds and awakens their lover. After all these eons, all these lifetimes, is it possible to find each other again—even when neither of you awakens with your memories?

Part — 5 / 15

Warnings — language

A/N — Taglist is open! Comment, message, or ask and I’ll add you to the roster :) (Also I’m a freakin’ moron and forgot to post on Wednesday night like usual, which was yesterday. So enjoy this late chapter lol!)

Previous — Next

The first person you text is Namjoon. To you, he was the obvious choice. Friendly, open, and the first of the members to accept you into their enclave. It wasn't anything in particular, just saying hi and reminding him of who you are and that you were looking forward to tomorrow.

Not two minutes later, he replies and invites you to join a group chat he'd just created for you and all seven members.

"This way, we can all keep in touch!" he says. "DMs are fine, of course, but if we all wanna get to know each other, group chats can be a lot of fun."

He wasn't wrong. The remainder of Sunday evening is spent texting the members. On the way home, while you cook a quick dinner, and when you're relaxing before bed. They're flooding your messages with all kinds of hilarity. Jungkook and Hoseok are a fan of memes, while Yoongi seems to prefer the straightforward communication that gifs provide. Jimin and Namjoon adore emojis, and Jin sticks to his usual bad dad jokes. Taehyung replies to a question every now and then, but for the most part, he's absent from the conversation.

"You're awfully quiet, Taehyung-ssi," Jimin teases half-way through a conversation on whether or not mint ice cream is edible.

"I'm working, but you guys are blowing up my phone so it's hard to concentrate."

A sigh slips out as you reply, "You can put your phone on vibrate, Taehyung. Really, we won't mind. Or at least I certainly won't."

His response is speedy. "Okay. I'll talk to you all tomorrow."

Namjoon sends you a private message. "Don't let him bother you. He can get like this when he's focused. He doesn't do well with things distracting him."

"Yeah...you're probably right."

"Oh, I definitely am!"

"Hey, thank you again for everything. Except for Kim Taehyung, I really feel at ease with everyone. I feel like we're going to get along great at the set tomorrow."

"My pleasure, [Y/n]. I really wanted to avoid you feeling like more of an outsider than you probably already do. Being in a new country, even if you speak the language, can be scary. I've been to enough of them to know that there's no place like home...but maybe we can make it a bit easier."

A smile spreads across your face at his genuine spirit and pure kindness. "You have, big time! Each of you is really fun to be around. Honestly? I can't wait for 'Run' tomorrow! Can I ask where we're going? I didn't see a production report yet, and Director Hyeon hasn't responded to my email."

"We'll probably knock out a few episodes in one night, and I think we're closing down the Seoul Museum of Art. They're going to close a bit early so we can have it to ourselves. The games we have planned will happen there!"

You turn your eyes away from your cell phone at the mention of the museum. Recalling what happened over the weekend, returning to that place doesn't seem like a terrific idea. But then again, if you are there with Taehyung, maybe the two of you can finally talk about what you see in your dreams.

Maybe, just maybe, you can get those answers.

Your resolve strengthens a little bit, and a new message comes through, one not from the group chat or Namjoon. You click out of your conversation with the leader and check the notification.

"Who are you?"

The question is blunt and straightforward, coming from the second-youngest member via a private chat. You open the message, and your fingers hover above the keyboard for a few moments.

"Hi Taehyung. What do you mean?"

"I know we've met before. I can't remember where."

You bite your lip at his statement. So you were right; he does have some sort of familiarity with you, too. Now, to figure out just how much.

"Have you been to a concert before? Or a fan-sign? Maybe you worked on the set of Hwarang?"

"None of those. I actually didn't listen to much of your music before recently, and I've never been to a concert or fan-sign. And I've never worked on any set before."

"You weren't a fan of BTS? Even though you applied to Big Hit?"

"Nope. Actually, my roommate Milo was the Bangtan superfan. I heard of you guys through her, and then of Big Hit. I applied because I wanted to live in Seoul. It's been my dream all my life. Big Hit just happened to have the job I wanted in the ideal location. Call it fate, I guess."

A half-truth, but it will have to do for now.

"I know. I remember. Your gut feeling."

You pause, your fingers halting mid-type. How did he already know about that? You hadn't mentioned it in either the group chat or in the earlier conversation. In fact, the only person you'd mentioned the gut feeling about Seoul to was—

"I have to go, sorry. I'll see you at the museum tomorrow. I think you know the way."

The museum looks almost spooky after the sun begins to set over the buildings that touch the sky. Downtown Seoul is as beautiful as ever as the bright oranges and pastel pinks bathe the exteriors of each in brilliant colors. If it weren't for the thirty or so Big Hit employees rushing about, you might've stood at the entrance for much longer than thirty seconds.

But the moment you're on-scene, you go to work. One of the producers flags you down, offers a brief introduction, and tells you where to hide the English words.

"Have you seen what we did a few episodes back, eighty-seven and eighty-eight?" he asks, shoving a stack of stickers into your hands. "When we put Hangul all over the Oil Tank Culture Park?"

You shake your head, offering a sheepish smile. "I haven't...exactly watched too much 'Run.'"

The producer waves it off. "Just run around the building and stick these wherever you think seven boys may or may not find them. Feel free to go crazy. We have fifteen minutes to get everything set before filming starts. The boys should be here soon. So, go! Once you're done, come back here. While they're running around, you can help me with the grading system."

"Grading system?"

"They're going to make sentences with the words they find. Since you know English the best, you can award points to each word based on difficulty in using."

A smile spreads across your face. "Got it! Sounds fun."

You speed off into the museum, weaving past the sound and lighting crew that are attempting to set up. Several of the museum staff have also stayed behind to give guidance, and you're relieved that the boys and company have the entire building to themselves. This wouldn't be possible during daytime hours when the public is here.

You begin sticking several dozen stickers along the walls, on the frames of pieces of art, on the marble floor. Basically, anywhere you can reach. You cover the Van Gogh exhibit with difficult words like "effervescence" and "halcyon," along with colorful words like "lilac" and "vermilion."

The further into the building you move, the fewer and fewer people you see. Once you've passed the room of modern art and approach the Winged Victory of Samothrace, there's no one in sight. Down to your last few words, you slip into the dimmed hallway and turn the corner.

Winged Victory is just as you remember. Tall and beautiful and haunting. The statue is still so familiar to you. Looking at the base, you can almost see the body of the woman from your dream. Right before you and Taehyung started running for your lives, this was where a murder occurred.

You flinch at the memory of the blood, but something else inside you is pulling you out of the room and towards the fountain. Last time you saw it, you ran from the room and left the friendly acquaintance behind. Part of you wonders what he must've thought. Surely, you looked like you'd seen a ghost.

But you might as well have.

Your feet tip-toe on the marble. The boys have most certainly arrived, and the filming has started from the sound of it. Their crazed and excited laughter fills the echo-y halls. Seeing as there aren't any stickers this far into the museum, you take your chances and continue moving deeper in. The producer could wait just a few more minutes, couldn't he?

The last of the sunlight ricochets across each panel of glass in the dome ceiling, greeting you with shards of light skewed in every direction. Like fireflies dancing together, they bring an almost magical aura to the open space, one very different from the horrors of your nightmares. The columns are made of ever-moving fire, and the fountain is made of glittery stars.

As you stand in the doorway, your throat drys and tightens. Seeing this place again, no matter how different, brings back the memories you can't explain. Are they even memories? Surely, that has to be what they are. But from when or from whom, you can't explain. They're a requiem for someone you hardly know.

Does Taehyung know the answers? Does he know more than you about this event you keep playing over and over in your mind? He's been in your dreams ever since you were a child, as a version much older than you were then and even older than you are now. Who has just one dream their whole lives, unless the explanation is that he has that dream, too?

You shake your head at the absurdity of it all. "What am I doing here?" you murmur, running your hand through your hair.

"Are you okay?"

The deep voice behind you causes you to jump and spin, eyes wide as you spot a familiar face at the entrance to the fountain. Taehyung stands with his hands in the pockets of his pants, his head tilted as he observes you.

"Holy shit, don't sneak up on people!"

The brunet smirks a little and shrugs. "Didn't mean to, sorry. You were staring off into space and didn't even hear me walk down the hallway. And it's hard to be quiet on marble floors."

"God, sorry, I didn't mean to snap." You run your hands over your face. "This museum has...some strange memories for me. I thought coming back here would help, but I think I've made it worse."

"How do you mean? I thought you hadn't been to Seoul before?"

"I haven't. It's complicated." Your eyes flicker to the corridor behind him. "Where's your cameraman?"

"I ditched him, told him I was running off to the restroom. But I didn't see you anywhere, so I figured you'd be back here."

Eyebrows pulling together, you reply, "How'd you figure that?"

"Well, you seemed really freaked out last weekend. You ran out of here like a ghost was chasing you. I was honestly worried until I saw you at Big Hit the next day, and you seemed fine, so..."

He trails off, and the realization of his words hits you. "Wait...shit, were you the one I was talking to both times I visited here this week? The one in the hoodie and mask?"

Taehyung nods, though there's a tiny line between his brows that shows he's as confused as you are. "Yes? I thought you knew that from day one, when you spoke to me at the Van Gogh exhibit."

Shaking your head fervently, you spout, "No! Not at all. I had no idea, honest to god. I just thought you were shy or introverted or maybe had a tough time talking to girls. I never, ever thought you were..." You gesture to all of him.

His brown eyes widen as he steps closer and out of the doorway. "Wait, really? You had no idea."

"None!"

He chuckles softly, turning to gaze at the fountain as the sunlight fades to soft blues of night. "I'd assumed you knew who I was. You were so open and friendly to a perfect stranger. I thought you'd recognized me."

"Not at all," you retort. "I was being nice and friendly because there was something about you that was so damn familiar. Kind of like this whole place, actually. I don't know. I can't explain it."

Taehyung nods and runs a hand through his curly locks. "I won't lie, there's something off about this place for me, too." He shifts his attention from the fountain to you. "You weren't lying about anything you said before, were you? About you being called to Seoul and not knowing why?"

You lock eyes with him as you reply, "I promise, everything I said was true."

"Then why did you run away?"

A heavy sigh slips out, and you sit down on the water fountain's edge. Looking into the water to your side, you run various ways to go about this disclosure. Blunt truth? A comforting lie? A bit of both?

"[Y/n]?"

"I've had this...nightmare, ever since I was a little girl. Ever since I could remember. It's always the same. I'm running for my life with someone I know that I care deeply about. We're trying to escape a murderer who's closing in behind us. He's just slaughtered one of our friends and he's coming for us."

You pause to take a breath, and Taehyung takes that pause to sit beside you. He doesn't say a word, only waist patiently for you to continue.

"We're eventually trapped. The man with me tells me to run while he distracts the murderer. Of course, I don't listen. There's a fight. We're both injured. And we both die."

There's a pregnant pause in the air before Taehyung hangs his head and murmurs, "That sounds horrible."

"I haven't told you everything," you reply. "I'm afraid I shouldn't...but what the hell." You gesture to the space around you. "In my dream, the entire thing is set here, in the Seoul Museum of Art. Our friend was killed at the base of Winged Victory. The fight happens among these columns. And the man and I, we die in this very fountain, bleeding out from gunshot wounds."

You turn to face the man beside you, seeing his eyes shift from his feet to yours as his head tilts slightly. "And every time, it's the same three people besides me. The same woman at the base of Winged Victory, the same murderer with a gun, the same man that this nightmare-version of me loves. I have no idea who the first two are..."

In your hesitation, Taehyung says, "But you know the last one."

Nodding, your knuckles turn white as you drip your knees. Here it goes. All or nothing. No turning back now.

"I do. He's—"

"—Me."

Taglist — @just-call-me-trash-can​, @jaienn​

#bangtan-madi writes #all of our lifetimes #aool #taehyung #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #bts #bts v #bts taehyung #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #soulmate au #soulmates #reincarnated au #reincarnation au #strangers to lovers #established relationship #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts fic #fanfic #taehyung fic

[queenmylovely]

Wedding Party- Mini ii

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. Your normal Sunday routine with Ben is interrupted by a hangover. 

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: cussing, smut (fingering, protected sex, etc.) (18+!! marked with ***)

Request: smut and hanging around being cute?- requested by my roommate 

A/N: I still love these two and they deserve all the soft smut in the world. I think I’m done with 700 stuff (I mean unless anyone wants to send more stuff) other than something that was sent in that might have taken on a life of its own. Keep tuned. Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

what’s going on send me stuff!

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Mini i, Masterlist

(ignore joey but that’s how ben looks at you, gif by @mrbenhardys​)

💖💖💖

A month and a half after Lucy and Rami’s wedding, you and Ben had developed a good routine that started with going out on Saturday nights, whether it was to dinner, to a bar, over to Lucy and Rami’s, or whatever plans you could scare up. Then you would go to his or yours, it alternated every weekend, have hot sex and crash for the night. The next day you would laze around, having a relaxed brunch of pancakes or waffles, eating them as they came off the griddle. You two might help each other do whatever chores you needed to do, if you had the motivation. If not, it’d just be a nice day to hang out and probably have some lazy sex in the afternoon.

This Sunday was pretty much the same and the two of you were laying in bed at your apartment about an hour after waking up. The night before was another of Lucy and Rami’s game nights, and since you were staying at your place, you drove. It was the last one before Joe had to go back to the states (though he still wasn’t leaving for another week). Since you were driving, you told Ben to live it up and he really listened, getting too drunk to do anything but be put straight to bed once you got to your place.

So today, Ben was extremely hung over. Lucky for him, and you, he wasn’t the type to throw up, but he did have a raging headache and achy body. So when the two of you had gotten up, you had drawn the blinds and closed the curtains to block out the bright sunlight. And you had gotten him a glass of water and aspirin to help the headache.

Then he had looked at you with puppy dog eyes and jutted out those lips of his in a pout and asked, “Can you give me a massage?”

You rolled your eyes but acquiesced, pushing him onto his stomach. Then you straddled his lower back and started with his arms. From his biceps down to his forearms to his hands, you got every inch while Ben hummed his approval. Next you moved to his shoulders and neck, working out the tension and Ben groaned when you worked out a knot with your elbow.

“You know, you should get regular massages with all the working out you do. You don’t get knots from being hungover,” you pointed out.

“Mhmm,” was all that Ben managed.

After his upper back, you did a quick bit over his lower back because that wasn’t very sore or tense. Then turned around so you were facing the other way. You even did a few rubs over his ass, then gave it a quick swat which made Ben cry out, “Babe!” and you laughed.

“I refuse to do your feet for a hangover,” you told him and he chuckled, so instead you started with his calves.

Once they were done, you slowly moved up his thighs and you probably spent a little extra time there, but who could blame you? Lastly you started to work your way up his inner thighs and you heard Ben’s breath catch. You kept going and Ben moaned, more sexual than relaxed.

“You good, baby?” you asked with a light laugh.

“Fuck, you got me hard,” he lifted his head from his arms and said with a little whine in his voice that made you feel a type of way.

“Too bad you have too big of a headache to fuck right now,” you said wistfully.

“Says you,” he countered, turning to look at you, but still squinting his eyes due to the light.

“Well me is who you have to convince to get fucked,” you pointed out. Then you got up from on top of him and said, “I’m going to make some breakfast. You’re welcome to join if you can stand the light in the kitchen.”

Ben groaned and put his head back on his arms as you walked away.

_

A couple hours later with some food in your stomach (you had taken some to Ben who was still in your bedroom), you were lounging on the couch, reading a book with soft music playing over the speakers.

Ben came walking out of your bedroom, rubbing his eyes and groaning softly.

“Did you have a nice little nap, baby?” you asked with a smile, putting your book to the side.

He nodded sleepily and then asked, “Can I lay down with you?”

“Yeah, come on,” you told him, holding your arms out for him. Since you were on your back, he laid down between your legs, resting his head on your chest. He pressed a soft kiss to your boob through your shirt and you laughed, swatting his shoulder lightly.

“Read to me, babe,” Ben said softly.

Picking up your book again, you found your page and then started reading. Ben interrupted every so often with questions to catch up but for the most part was quiet, paying attention to your voice.

The two of you laid like that for a while until your voice got tired and you set down the book again. Then you settled in and started playing with Ben’s hair lazily and he pressed another kiss to your chest. This time you didn’t swat his shoulder and he placed another kiss.

***

Ben’s hands smoothed up under your shirt and he brushed the sides of your breasts with his thumbs. The light touch made you shiver and Ben kissed his way to your right nipple, mouthing it over your shirt. You hummed and tugged his hair lightly to get him to switch to the other side. Once he had you breathing quicker, he helped you lift your shirt over your head.

“Yours too, baby,” you said with a smile and you helped him take it off. You ran your hands down his torso, thumbing at his nipples and feeling his abs.

Ben pressed hot kisses up from your chest to your neck and then finally reached your mouth. His lips moving against yours, it wasn’t long before you were moaning and opening your mouth for his tongue.

His hand traveled down your body and landed over your clothed pussy. He rubbed at your clit through your clothes and while it was good, you wanted more.

Breaking the kiss, you whispered against his lips, “I can just take them off for you.”

Ben chuckled against your mouth and took your pants and underwear off for you. You opened your mouth to say something but Ben beat you to it.

“I know, mine too,” he said with a laugh and you nodded happily.

Everything off, Ben’s hand came back between your thighs and his middle finger found your clit. You sighed and brought him to kiss you again, running your hands through his hair and then scratching your hands down his back.

Ben’s finger moved down to your entrance, pushing inside slowly and you moaned into his mouth. You could tell that Ben was into it too, his hard dick pressing against the side of your thigh. Ben pushed another finger in with the first and you gasped when the heel of his hand started to rub against your clit.

One of your hands on Ben’s hip, you pulled him closer to you until his hips were practically flush with yours.

He broke the kiss, “Uh, you’re kinda trapping my hand, babe.”

“Then move it-- out of the way-- I’m trying to get-- to something else,” you mumbled in between short kisses.

Ben grinned and moved his hand, pressing a searing kiss to your lips before jumping up from the couch.

“Ow, that hurt my head. Just a second,” Ben said, searching for his pants wherever they landed. Then he pulled a condom out of the pocket of his sweatpants and you laughed incredulously.

“Are you serious? Did you put a condom in your pocket ahead of time?” you said, still laughing.

“Well you said that I had to convince you and I knew that’d be pretty easy,” Ben admitted, already putting the condom on.

You gave him a mostly fake shocked look, “Are you saying I’m easy?”

“I’m speaking from previous experience. Don’t act like you don’t want this,” he said with a smirk, gesturing to himself.

“Shut up and get over here,” you said with a roll of your eyes, reaching up for him again.

He climbed back on top of you, using one hand to prop himself up and the other to guide his cock inside of your pussy slowly and he dropped his head to your shoulder. Then he just stayed there for a moment.

“Aren’t you going to move?” you asked, tapping the back of his head.

“I’m just feeling for a minute,” he explained, still staying still but lifting his head.

“You convinced me of fucking, not cockwarming, speed it up,” you told him wryly, clenching around him purposefully to entice him.

“Always so impatient,” he commented, finally starting to thrust. Even though he was still going slower than fast, he was going deep, and you made a happy sound at the feeling. “‘cept when you’re the one teasing.”

“That’s an entirely-- entirely different situation,” you said, stuttering a little when his hand found its way back to your clit.

“You should be able to take what you dish out,” was Ben’s rebuttal, but with how deep he was fucking you and the mix of frictions of his cock in your pussy and his fingers on your clit, your words escaped you.

All you could do was shush him before pulling him into another kiss. At least that didn’t need brainpower because your mouths always naturally worked together. But the slow pace and amazing feeling was making you itchy for more, like your fingertips were burning with need. So you kissed down his jaw to his neck, using your teeth to nip at all of the spots with faded hickeys on Ben’s neck. He would probably complain again that you kept giving him hickeys in the same spots, never letting them completely fade, but they looked so good there that you did it anyway.

When you nipped at his pulse point, Ben moaned and his hips snapped against yours and you gasped.

“Yes, Ben, do that-- do that again, again,” you said breathlessly.

To your relief, he did, and you continued your work on his neck. One particularly hard thrust had your pussy clenching around him and Ben whined, “aah fuck-- fuck, babe, you feel good, so good.”

“You too, so good, baby,” you breathed into his neck. “I’m gonna come, just keep going and come too, wanna feel it.”

Ben nodded frantically, keeping his hips thrusting into you even a little harder, and his fingers moved faster on your clit. A few more seconds and you were coming, your mouth pressed against Ben’s neck to stifle your moans as you felt the pleasure radiate from your pussy and clit out to burn along your back, neck, all the way out to your fingertips.

You came down and Ben was still going, still chasing his release like you told him to. Wanting to help him along, you wrapped your legs around his waist and just that little change in angle had him coming in two more thrusts. The feeling of his cock pulsing inside of you, his pitchy moans next to your ear, and your aftershocks gave you a heady feeling that you now associated with sex with Ben. Knowing that you were able to make each other feel so good was a pleasure of its own and always kept you hungry for more.

Once Ben’s breathing had slowed a little, you leaned up and brought your lips to his in a soft and sweet kiss. After a couple minutes of lazily making out, you pulled away, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Alright, we gotta get up, baby. Still need to do meal prep for this week,” you reminded him and he groaned.

“Let’s just stay here a little while longer,” Ben tried, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“I’ll give you five more minutes,” you said.

“Fine, but you have to give me some of the food to take home,” lifting his head to look at you.

You smiled and kissed his cheek, “Of course.”

💖💖💖

Permanent taglist: @riseetothesun​​​ @caborhapch​​​​ @drowseoftaylor​​​ @queenlover05​​​ @johndeaconshands​​​ @supersonicfreddie​​​

Series taglist: @killer-queen-87​​​​​ @theprettyandthereckless​​​​​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​​​​​ @theonsasheart​​​​​ @hannafuckingsucks​​​​​​ @takemetoneverland420​

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#my fav sex positive couple #and theyre in love already just fyi #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #ben hardy #ben jones #wedding party #queenmylovely #fic #series #fluff #smut #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody x reader #borhap x reader #borhap boys #borhap cast #bohemian rapsody movie

[justjeonday]

eternal you┆min yoongi

With you gone, the ground under Yoongi’s feet seems to be crumbling, the color in his life fading as the days without you go by. The only thing left to keep him going are the memories he made with you, sunday mornings, exchanged smiles, fingers skimming over soft skin, lazy kisses, nights spent by Han River. To these moments, he travels to see you again - to exist in the utopia that was you once more.

— song; eight - IU ft. SUGA ( i listened to this piano cover)

— pairing; min yoongi x dead!reader

— WC; 5.9K

— genre; a lot of angst with hints of fluff, idol!au, husband!yoongi, dead!wife!reader

— rating; PG/PG13

— warnings; sad yoongs :(, mentions of death, descriptions of mild depression??, lucid dreaming or something, overall there’s nothing that graphic it’s just sad :((

— notes; this took me so long to finish and at this point i’m not even sure what this was supposed to be but i hope you enjoyyy <33 

— thank you to @tigertaehyunq, dear Penny, for reading this through and helping me along the way <3

gif found here.

(not fully edited)

The sky, once blue and pretty, has become gray and monochrome.

The world around Yoongi has turned cold, dull. All he sees is grey, ashes of what once was happiness, of what once was love. Since you’ve been gone, everything around him has turned somber, days at work filled with insincere empathy and shallow ‘how are you’’s.

The utopia that came with knowing you, being in your presence, that was made up of the memories you two created together - that was made up of you and him - now broken, shattered into thousands of pieces.

Yoongi has tried, more times than he can count, to pick them up one by one and put them together, but the biggest and most significant piece - you - is gone. All he has left are the memories, the times he got to spend with you and the things you did together, the important yet all too small pieces to patch it all back up.

These only make up half of his heart. The rest is hollow - empty because you’re no longer there.

He sighs as he pushes the door to your apartment open, almost expecting to see you on the couch typing away on your laptop, your eyes leaving your screen to look up at him with a smile - arms reaching out for him to come embrace you. But you’re not there.

The space is dark and the couch is cold and empty. It’s quiet, no TV playing on a low volume in the background like it always used to since you hated the silence that surrounded you when you were home alone, no dancing lights flickering across the surfaces in its reach.

You’re gone.

The apartment almost feels foreign to him, nowhere near entire without your presence. Yoongi has never considered his home to be a place - not since he first fell in love with you. The meaning of home changed completely when he first realized he loved you. Ever since then, it’s never been a space - never just walls and a roof.

Home was you.

It was your embrace, the warmth of your body radiating against his own as you held him tight - your fingertips skimming over the skin at the back of his neck, coming up to brush through the hair at his nape. It was your eyes and the way they lit up as you smiled at him. Home was the sweet nothings you whispered into his ear just before you fell asleep, it was your laugh and the feeling of your lips against his; the taste of your favorite lip balm.

He releases a broken chuckle at the thought, the sound shattering the silence around him. Your damn lip balm. It tasted of coconut, pleasantly so - he must admit - and it was a sweet tang lingering on his lips after you kissed him, the trace of you remaining on them in a way that made his heart flutter, but oh how he disliked it sometimes. He didn’t like how it took away from the raw feeling of your lips pressed against his. But it was so incredibly and typically you. You carried that lip balm around wherever you went, saying you wanted your lips to be soft when he kissed you.

He didn’t care about that. He never did.

Yoongi feels his heart break, again - like it did earlier today when he woke up, and yesterday, and multiple times the day before that day. How much is there left to break before it all gets too much, before it’s too broken to continue on beating?

He stands still as the door falls shut with a click behind him, his gaze falling from the couch down to his feet as he lets his head hang low, chin pressed against his sternum, a hand placed on the wall next to him - scared the ground underneath him is gonna crumble. He’s scared, as it all comes crashing down on him, after being able to keep it inside at work, containing the emotions all he could, hiding behind fake smiles. Only by filling his schedule to the point of exhaustion being able to distract himself from a wandering mind, from the truth - the hurt.

As the clock turns four, he looks up from his notepad feeling numb but expects to be able to breathe out and relax after days of hard work - yet he can’t. His breath is shallow as he collects his things in the studio, shallow as he gets into his car and drives home, thinking maybe, just maybe he’ll be able to breathe when he gets home. But still, as he steps inside the door, his breath only reaches his throat.

Because, to him, there is no home anymore. Without you, there is no place for him to breathe out, your arms no longer reaching out to welcome him home. Without you, he’s lost - astray with nowhere to go.

Yoongi feels as if he hasn’t been able to breathe out since he got that call - since he found out you were gone. It feels like the oxygen doesn’t reach his lungs, as though his breaths are empty, as if every time he inhales it's a waste of air.

Now that he’s in the apartment, silence and dark surrounding him, it leaves too much space for roaming thoughts. Too much room for longing and remembering, eyes involuntarily traveling to find everything that reminds him of you. He can’t stand it - the silence is much too loud.

He needs it to stop, yearns for the pain to numb until he can’t feel anything anymore. Hoping things will get better feels like sitting in a car at a broken stoplight - stuck on red.

He feels exhausted, like the weight of the world is pushing down on his shoulders. He finds himself at times, silently praying it’s all a nightmare; a painful dream his mind has created - that he’ll wake up soon enough to feel you snuggling into his chest, warm breath fanning across his bare skin.

It feels surreal, that you’re not here anymore; that you’re simply gone.

He still expects to wake up in the middle of the night, cold and shivering because you stole the covers all for yourself. As his alarm goes off in the morning, he awakes awaiting you to release a groan at the annoying sound before holding him tight, not wanting him to leave for work and let the bed turn cold next to you.

Yoongi sighs, standing up straight before kicking his shoes off. He walks further in, making his way straight towards the bedroom - leaving the rest of the apartment untouched like it has been since you were here last. He keeps his gaze down by his feet, lethargy following his every step.

He can’t bring himself to glance into the kitchen, knowing your favorite coffee cup is gonna be on the counter - left there in your hurry to work like it always was. He doesn’t wanna see the note you had left him on the fridge, the one he was reading with a smile on his lips just minutes before the world came crashing down on him - before the light broke.

He still remembers every word on that piece of paper.

‘Hi, my love~

I’ll be getting off work earlier today, would you perhaps want to take a walk to Han River and watch the sky with me?

Imagine this; you, me, some fried chicken, soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great right?

I’ll call you as soon as I can.

Sincerely, always yours.‘

He stood by that counter with the note in his hand, the biggest smile on his face as if he was a teenager who got a yes from his crush. He felt so incredibly full of love at that moment, his heart warm and fluttering as he chuckled at your lame way of asking him on a date.

Despite the long day at work, filming for their variety show at multiple locations, producing music, he felt energetic as he read the note - excited to be able to spend some time with you.

But it only lasted a short while. The warmth - the fluttering. His heart skipped a beat in his chest as his phone started ringing, expecting to see your name on the display as he grabbed it from his pocket. He was met with an unknown number, feeling his heart drop for a reason he had yet to know. Something felt wrong.

It’s probably nothing, right?

“Hello?” He answered, eyes wandering as he waited for an answer.

Right?

“Hello, this is a call from Asan Medical Center in Seoul” a woman spoke at the other end of the line, “am I speaking to Min Yoongi?”

His eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Yes?”

“Your wife has been in a terrible traffic accident, we rushed to the scene as quickly as we could but we’re sorry to inform you she didn’t make it.”

His breath hitched in his throat as the woman spoke, his hands trembling and knuckles turning white as he gripped his phone harder.

“No,” he said in disbelief, “no, she can’t be-”

“I’m so so sorry, Sir - we couldn’t save her, she passed away at the scene. Her injuries were far too severe.”

Yoongi wasn’t able to hear the last few words clearly, the woman’s voice becoming distant as his head started spinning, his knees going weak underneath him - causing him to slide down the side of the counter until he was seated against the floor.

“Sir?”

He let his hand fall limp against the floor, his phone falling along with it - eyes staring blankly before him.

That was the moment his world was flipped upside down, when everything fell apart. It was the moment when the paradise that was you, that was constant, broke, and fell to pieces right in front of him.

The painful memory is etched into his mind and trying to forget it has ended up useless - it plays on repeat whenever it gets too quiet, whenever there’s room for losing himself in the intrusive thoughts that roam his mind.

He sometimes wonders how much you were hurting, praying that you didn’t have to suffer for too long.

He trudges in the dark, entering the bedroom and naturally making his way over to the left side of the bed; his side. He falls back against the mattress after shrugging his coat off, a huff of air escaping him as his back hits the surface. It feels too big, too empty; too cold. The smell of you still lingers on the fabric, and he relishes in it - closing his eyes to let his mind picture you laying right there next to him, heat radiating from you and mattress sinking at his side.

That was the last way he saw you, the last way he felt you close, after all. As his alarm sounded through the room that same day his world turned dark, the sun was already up - shining in through open blinds the two of you forgot to pull down the night before. After silencing the sudden sound, he turned to you and saw the way you frowned, stirring from your sleep.

It was like any other day, waking up and looking over at you only to be embraced as you awakened. He saw you like that every day, and you always looked so beautiful. Your hair falling over your pillow, your eyebrows furrowing at the alarm, your lips parted ever so slightly - eyes fluttering as you stirred awake beside him.

The way the sun hit your skin that day took his breath away, he could lay there for hours just admiring your beauty - the way you glowed, your skin golden on top of white sheets.

You must be an angel; his angel.

Closing his eyes to imagine you next to him still, has become a habit he can’t break - only minutes after falling asleep to enter a state, a utopia where hurt no longer exists, in which the word goodbye is no longer known.

A place in which you are eternal.

Yoongi finds himself staring into a void as his subconscious stirs to life, body still numb - limp against the cold bed. Having done this control-your-dream thing a couple of times now, he’s gotten pretty good at having his way with the dream.

He had read about it just days after you passed, the need to see you filling every part of his being. He had read the instructions carefully, but skipped the paragraph about any possible side effects - he couldn’t care less, he just needed to see you.

He needs to see you happy. He needs to make sure you’re okay, and that every time you fade, every time he awakes to reality - there’s a smile on your lips.

He figured the void had become his side effect, the emptiness, the cold - it scared him.

He tries to control his mind, concentrating on imagining a place where you’d feel the happiest. You loved sitting by the Han River with him, watching the sunset flipping through soft pages of your favorite books. Yoongi smiles, mind going back to your letter. Your last written words.

‘You, me, fried chicken. soju, and a sunset - sounds pretty great, right?’

He wants to take you there. He knows how much you looked forward to it, always cherished the time off of work the two of you had together - you made sure it was special, every moment of it.

You loved the sky, he always wondered how you were content just sitting under it and admiring its beauty for hours on end. You were one of those people who believed the theory that ‘looking at the sky seven times a day will make you happier’. Maybe it was true. He could count on two hands all the times you were negative since he met you all those years ago - perhaps the sky made you feel more positive, happier.

Yoongi arises from the void, a groan leaving his lips at the uncomfortable and solid ground underneath him. His eyes flutter open, squinting slightly at the sudden yet soft brightness of the sun shining his way - creating an orange glow in the world around.

The bustling sound of Seoul resonates through the atmosphere, groups of people scattered around the patches of green and on steps of cement along Han river - a soft beat from a nearby cafe playing in the background. He notices the smell of coffee and flowers lingering in the air as he breathes in.

It all feels so real, almost too real.

His hands come up to run over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and attempting to adjust to the light before he opens them again. Looking to his right, he sees you sitting next to him on the picnic blanket placed underneath the both of you. You’re clad in your favorite dress; a loose, white dress with daisies on it.

He’s dreaming again.

You’re here.

He’s finally able to breathe properly, the air feels light rather than heavy in his lungs. You look so beautiful, still unaware he’s admiring you. You stay seated with legs folded in front of you, your skin glowing as you read your book, flipping the pages as a soft and pleasant breeze blows through your locks. The orange sun creates a golden aura that glows around your frame, making his heart skip a beat at the beauty that is you.

It’s the first time he’s seen you here since a week before you passed, it makes him want to shout in happiness and pain all at the same time.

Trying to gain full control of the dream, Yoongi pushes the thoughts of pain away as best he can - but he feels them linger, holding onto him. He focuses on you, relaxing in your presence - feeling that sense of utopia you brought to anyone you held dear to your heart.

You shine - so bright. He swears you’re as bright as the sun. Brighter, even.

The sun. That’s what you were. His sun, his warmth, the light that brightened and lit his path, showed him the way home. With you, winter didn’t feel so cold - night never seemed too dark.

Yoongi was always a little afraid of the dark before he met you. You had laughed at him when he said he slept with a light on. He always had, ever since he was little. But with you, there was no need. You’re his safe haven - his glow in the dark.

A blissful sigh slips past his lips at the sight of you, the feeling of having you in his reach again. He misses you so much.

He can’t help but bring a hand up to lay it over the small of your back, thumb tracing circles over the fabric of your dress. You turn at the touch, looking up from your book to notice he’s awake.

“Hey you,” you smile at him. “You fell asleep for a bit.”

He just hums in response, turning to his side and reaching his arms out to you with a pout forming on his lips - beckoning you to fall into his embrace. You chuckle softly at him before putting your book down, making sure not to lose the page you’re on before laying down in his arms.

“I missed you,” you say against his neck, turning the both of you so you end up on top of him.

I missed you.

A phrase he constantly heard from you. Always. Even after a quick trip to the store, no more than twenty minutes, he’d come home to you telling him how much you missed him while reaching your arms out to embrace him. When waking up, you’d turn to him and tell him that same thing - even though he’d been right there next to you in bed all night.

It was something so simple, three words put together into something that made his heart spread with warmth, that were said over and over, to you as important as a hello - yet they meant so much to him. As he time and time again is hit with the realization he’ll never hear those words again, his heart breaks impossibly further.

“You always say that,” Yoongi groans as you shift on top of him. “I’ve been right here all along.”

You chuckle at his words, leaving a kiss by his exposed collarbone just next to the collar of his shirt before laying your head down on his chest. “But still,” you mumble, “I didn’t get to talk to you or kiss you.”

He scoffs before letting out a chuckle, his chest vibrating under you. “You’re weird.”

“No,” you pout, “I’m in love with you.”

The deepest parts of his heart turn pink with love, growing like wildfire until his whole chest is painted.

Oh, he loves you so.

Seoul sounds at a soft volume around you as you breathe each other in. Your eyes are fixed on the orange and pink hues of the sky, following fluffy clouds as you feel yourself relax against your lover’s body - his chest falling up and down slowly as he breathes - lulling you to a state of tranquility.

“I miss you too,” Yoongi says, his voice just above a whisper - the words only for your ears to hear.

You smile and lay your arms over his chest in front of you, propping your chin upon them as you look into his eyes, trying to read him and his reason for the unusually affectionate words told to you.

“You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad,” you snicker.

“I’m not,” he defends, showing no signs of being anything less than serious, eyes locked with yours as his fingers brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I miss you so much.”

You find his words rather strange, considering the circumstances. Having been by his side for several years, you’ve come to know him inside out - and you know he prefers showing his love and appreciation towards you through actions, whether small or big, rather than using words. That’s just how he is.

Now and then, he’ll take you out on a date, and on those special occasions he’ll tell a few words but that’s it; and that’s enough. He doesn’t have to do more than that for you to know. You’re aware he loves you just as much as you love him, even though he might not voice it as often - and you know that just as thankful you are to have him, he is to have you.

Showing it, he does in the smallest ways. When he reaches for you first thing in the morning, calls you to ask if you want anything from the store when he’s on his way home, mindlessly running his fingers along your skin as you sit close watching the sunset, placing soft kisses on your shoulder as you count stars after the blanket of night is thrown over the world - him, the moon and its stars left your only light in the dark.

He occasionally makes you dinner or buys you a new book, saying ‘it’s nothing’ as you thank him, which you’ve learned is code for ‘I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you’. These actions, yet so simple and small, mean just as much to you as the few times he’s said the words out loud.

To speak them this casually, sitting by Han River with people around, with tired eyes and lazy kisses, is not like him at all.

Yoongi, however, is aware this is temporary - a mare dream in his head. He knows this is far from what his reality has now become without you, that you’ll be gone again when he wakes up in your bedroom, in a bed turned cold.

But he’s willing to take the pain of that realization again if it means he gets to see you - if it means he can feel you next to him again. If it means he gets to show you how much he loves you just once more before he has to wake up to the nightmare that has become his life, then he’ll do it all over again.

He wants to say to you what he didn’t have the chance to, wants to show you how much you mean to him every moment that allows him to.

Yoongi feels a tear escape his eye and roll down his cheek as he’s brought back to the present, looking at you through blurred vision; admiring every beautiful feature. You notice it as it sparkles in the sun, turning golden as though there’s sweet honey running down his skin.

“My love,” you whisper, your heart squeezing at the sight of him sad, “what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head at your question, bottom lip quivering slightly.

“Don’t be sad,” you say softly, fingers brushing through the hair behind his ear.

“I’m not sad, I just-” he inhales a shaky breath, wiping the stray tear away as a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, “I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

A slight frown settles across your features, your fingertips running over his face softly, skimming from his cheekbone down to his bottom lip - your eyes following in its trail before looking into his warm brown ones, creating their own sunset as the sky reflects in them.

“I’ll always be here.”

His heart feels heavy as he hears your words, knowing that in reality, it’s not completely true. He knows he’ll wake up in a few hours and turn over to feel the bed is empty, waiting to hear your groan and feel your arm fall over his waist, only to realize you’re gone all over again. He’ll have to go about his day as normal, distracting himself with work. He’ll drive home just to walk straight to the bedroom, waiting to see you in his dreams again.

He feels as if he's stuck in the same space of time, reliving the day just after he found out about your passing, almost like he’s on a constant loop. Stuck on a circling path that’s never-ending - like the earth orbits around the sun, stuck traveling on the path encompassing it.

It’s a constant cycle of euphoria, realization, and reality - a nightmare - and it hurts. Oh, how it hurts. But he’s not sure he’ll ever want to step out of that pattern, ever. If it means he still gets to see you, the pain means nothing to him, he’ll put up with it - no doubt he will.

He’s much aware he can’t live in this false reality forever, but for now, this is how he’ll survive - this is the only way for him to get through this, the only thing that will keep him going.

Yoongi hugs you tightly as he turns, ending up on his side with you next to him - your chest pressed against his. “I know you will,” he says, leaving a quick kiss on your lips.

He hums after pulling away, waiting no more than a few seconds before leaning back in to feel your lips against his again - making you close your eyes and kiss him back. His lips stay pressed against yours for longer this time before he yet again pulls away with another sound of approval coming from his throat.

You smile as your eyes flutter open again, looking at Yoongi as he licks his lips.

“You like it, don’t you?” You say as his eyes open to lock with yours.

He rubs his lips together before answering you, “like what?”

“My lip balm.”

“I don’t.”

He does.

“No?”

“It’s too sticky,” he mutters, “I don’t like it.”

“Yes, you do,” you chuckle, “I saw how you licked your lips just now.”

He looks at you, no response coming from him at your contention.

“Cat got your tongue?” You tease.

He huffs at you, gummy smile stretching across his lips as he turns away from you to lay on his back. “Shut up.”

You laugh, sitting up to look out over the river - the horizon behind skyscrapers and buildings now a deep orange, beautifully fading into the peach hues higher above.

Yoongi follows you up, sitting next to you as he runs a hand through his hair. He looks at you, following your line of gaze to see the sky and all its tones. He must admit it’s beautiful, almost breathtaking, the vibrant colors laying across the sky - but as he looks back to you, he knows nothing’s ever looked more beautiful than you do right at this moment.

As you turn to see Yoongi shamelessly admiring you, he doesn’t bother averting his gaze even as you catch him.

“What’s that look for?”

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, his head shaking ever so slightly as though he’s in disbelief.

“Ahh, stop.” You reach over to nudge his shoulder, despite the smile on your lips at the compliment.

“You are,” he says, his tone matter-of-factly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I can’t believe you,” you laugh, “since when did you get so cheesy?”

He doesn’t say anything else, a silence settling over the two of you as you stay eyeing each other.

He’s a soft boy, after all. Under the rapping, dark, deep voice stuttering over beats, the black clothes, the intimidating energy he radiated, he is soft. Sometimes you get random urges to boop his nose or squish his cheeks because he’s so adorable, but maybe that’s just you being weird.

“Thank you,” you say softly after a few seconds, blood rushing to your cheeks.

You cherish and admire him, and with the amount of love that fills your being - you swear there are hearts in your eyes.

Yoongi notices the way your cheeks have been dusted pink, his heart warming at the sight, fluttering in his ribcage as your hand finds his - interlocking your fingers together.

“Come here,” he mumbles, pulling you closer.

You happily oblige and settle in front of him, sitting in between his spread out legs, your back leaning against his chest behind you.

He lays his arms around your waist, placing kisses along your exposed shoulder. You relax against him, head falling to rest on his shoulder - letting your eyes fall close. Your hands find his as they lay across your stomach, your fingers skimming soothingly over the back of his hand.

He leaves a few kisses on top of your head before hugging you closer to his front. You almost melt against him, but a sudden shatter in front of you causes a squeal to escape your mouth, tensing as you press further into Yoongi at the unexpected noise.

You see glass scattered on the cement path in front of where you’re seated, alcohol pungent in the air as it paints the ground dark, liquid spreading. You look over to see a drunk man, who had fallen to the ground after the throw - two police-men now surrounding him.

The bottle lays broken on the ground, once a perfectly intact piece now fragmented into hundreds - impossible to fix.

Yoongi is startled as well, the sudden shatter of glass against the cement causing him to lose control of the moment. Darker thoughts start making their way back into his mind and as his gaze falls upon the pieces scattered across the ground, he can’t help but think of the broken utopia that resides without you.

His grip on the dream feels as if it’s fading slowly, and you feel more distant to Yoongi although still right there with him - until you speak again, bringing him back to present - though he’s not in full control of the dream anymore.

“Was it bad?”

Your words confuse him, and he feels his heart getting heavier. He lost it. He lost the moment.

“What do you mean?”

Your mood has changed, he senses it instantly. You slump against him, looking down at your lap as you run your fingertips over the back of his hand.

“When I passed,” you elaborate, “how bad was it?”

Yoongi’s breath is caught in his throat, now aware of what you’re talking about. He releases a sigh at the topic, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He wanted this to be the perfect dream, but instead, he let you down.

After no answer, you shift and turn so you’re facing him. You look at him, any trace of a smile on his face gone - his eyes dull.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” you whisper, taking both his hands in your own.

Yoongi feels as though the air thins around him, looking down at your intertwined hands as his eyes start stinging with tears. His hands suddenly feel cold on your hold.

He knows you’re right. He knows.

“It’s the only way I get to see you anymore,” he whispers, still avoiding your gaze as he continues, “it’s the only way for me to tell you what I didn’t have the chance to.”

You look at him, heart breaking at the sorrow that resides within him, how dull he seems.

His voice is unsteady as he speaks, his hands fiddling with yours. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“Yoongi-”

“God,” he lets out a chuckle, though it’s broken. “Your note, I read it just before I found out you-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, breath heavy in his lungs - throat closing in.

His hands leave yours to tug at his hair, his head falling forward to rest against his palms - his body suddenly weak, his heart frail.

“You were so excited to go here that day, weren’t you? And then you-”

“Yoongi,” you stop him from going further, “we’re here now, aren’t we? It’s okay.”

You grab his hands again, trying to calm him.

“But we’re not forever,” he says, now looking into your eyes with blurred vision as tears threaten to fall, “This isn’t real, I’ll wake up in a cold bed, and you won’t be there with me.”

“I will, even though you might not see me. I’ll always stay by your side, I’ll always listen when something is weighing you down, I’ll give you all the energy I possibly can when you’re feeling low. My hand is always in yours, even though you might not feel it.”

He exhales an erratic breath, head falling onto your shoulder.

“I’m nothing without you,” he mumbles against the skin of your neck, “you were my everything.”

Your heart breaks as you hear his words. What could you have done to prevent all this? Could you have taken a different turn? These thoughts roam your mind, a sorrow inside you because you caused this - because you left him.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning into him.

“Don’t,” he says, “this wasn’t your fault.”

Seoul fades around you, every person disappearing until it’s just the two of you left; you, Yoongi, and the orange sun.

“Promise me you’ll try to get better.”

He doesn’t say anything, his breath hot against your neck.

“I know it’s gonna be hard, and that it’ll take time - but please find happiness again, enjoy work, laugh with your friends, watch the sunset, meet new people,” you speak, eyes watching the sky as you hold him close. “I’ll be with you every step of the way until we see each other again, I’ll hug you in the morning, I’ll tell you how much I miss you, I’ll kiss you - but only after I’ve applied my lip balm.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, his tears falling onto the skin by your collarbone.

“Promise you’ll never leave.” He sits up straight to look at you.

You cup his face, wiping tears away with your thumbs. “I will never leave you, I promise.”

He leans into your touch, more tears falling as he closes his eyes.

“I’ll be your angel.”

“You always have been,” he whispers as a small smile settles on his lips.

You tear up at his words. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

Yoongi decided the sun would never set that night, and you sat watching the sky for hours - enjoying having each other close for the last time in a long time. At one moment, you had pointed at the sky and said ‘like the clouds, all will pass - you’ll be okay, my love’, and those words comforted him more than he ever thought they would.

You promised each other not to cry as the colors started to fade, as the light slowly turned dark. Instead, you held each other close and made sure to share one last kiss before the moment was gone.

Yoongi woke up that morning, and his bed didn’t feel so cold anymore. You were there, although indiscernible, he knew you were lying right beside him - one arm coming up to hold him close.

Just like you told him, you’d be there when he woke up.

He still missed you, and at times he felt he couldn’t breathe at all - but you let him know everything will be alright, that eventually, everything’s going to be okay. He had a long road ahead of him until that day would arrive, but you’d walk with him - and that was all he needed to keep going.

And for the first time in a long time, he smiled. The blinds that had been down since you’d been gone, he pulled up that day to look at the sky, which was clouded and gray, but it didn’t bother him anymore.

For,

with you

the sky will always be beautiful.

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© justjeonday | 2020 | all rights reserved | reposts, translations, or modifications of my work in any form is not allowed.

#btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #networkbangtan #magicshopnet #btswritersguild #armysource #btsbookclub #btswriterscollective #bangtanfairygarden #bangtanhq #bts fics #bts fluff #bts angst #min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts #fic; eternal you

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 9

"𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦." ━ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: cussing and angst, but nothing else tbh.

word count: 5,294 [of un-proofread material lol sorry]

authors note: HI EVERYONE!!! First off, I just want to wish you all a Happy Holiday season! I honestly didn’t think i was going to get anything out, but work has been extremely stressful and i needed to write and voila, part 9 lmfao. there’s only three more parts of the series left and i can’t believe it’s almost over! thank you to anyone who’s reblogged, liked, sent in a message, written in their tags or even took the time to read any part of this series– i love you all. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all! I hope you all have an amazing day and enjoy part 9!

Avoiding Jamie and Tyler after the shitshow that took place in Tyler's house Friday night, was your number one priority. Thankfully, the Stars were out of town in Nashville and weren't due to come back to Dallas until early Sunday morning. You weren't sure if Tyler still wanted you to watch the dogs, so the next morning after everything happened, you took an uber to his place. When you walked inside to feed the dogs and take them on their walk, they were nowhere to be found. You walked around the house, whistling and even going as far as to squeaking Gerry's favorite toy– but no sound of paws against the floor or the jingling of their collars. When you went to leave, the front door opened and John walked in, holding onto the three dogs' leashes. He looked surprised to see you and the moment the two of you made eye contact, you realized that he knew.

And it was obvious that your dog sitting services were no longer needed, so you rushed back to campus and practically locked yourself in a library study room, throwing yourself into studying for your last final.

If you thought back on it hard enough, you weren't sure if that was the final straw that jutted the metaphorical knife deeper into your stomach or what happened Sunday night when Big Rig came over. You had once again, spent the entire day throwing yourself into studying for your finals and by the time you returned back to your dorm room, Kennedy was ordering dinner in for her and Big Rig.

You hadn't meant to completely shut her out, but you honestly felt a little embarrassed at how everything came crumbling down. Tyler had yet to reach out, he pretty much fired you from taking care of the dogs, you're pretty sure that your brother pretty much disowned you...and Kennedy, though not as straight-forward, had warned you of it all. The last thing you wanted to do was feel worse than you did now...though that logic isn't working, because well, you were feeling pretty shitty.

Kennedy was your best friend for a reason and she knew better than anyone that when you were ready to talk about it all, you would. So, unfortunately for her, but lucky for you, she was dealing with your sadness with grace– aka by not complaining when you had your playlist blasting through your headphones or not commenting on how you were watching the notebook one too many a time.

By the time Big Rig had arrived at your dorm, you had shut off your computer for the night, buried yourself beneath the covers, rolled yourself towards the wall and had been trying to fall asleep for almost an hour. You thought that you'd be able to eventually fall asleep, maybe while they were just going to watch Criminal Minds and eat some dinner, but the moment that their hushed whispers grew a little louder, there was no hope.

"How is she doing?" He asked, talking softly as he kicked his shoes off onto the floor and hopped onto her bed, his tall and heavy frame causing it to buckle beneath him.

"Honestly? Not so good. " Kennedy sighed and you could feel her gaze lingering on your back. "Neither Jamie or Tyler have talked to her. She's been either spending all her time studying, blasting sad breakup songs, skimming through The Notebook or sleeping."

"Oh shit...The Notebook?"

Kennedy was silent but climbed onto her bed as Big Rig shifted and unloaded the delivery bag. "I even called her mom earlier, just to give her a heads up before she came home for Christmas in case she notices that two of her kids aren't talking. And then right after, Jordie reached out to me because Y/N wasn't answering him and neither was Jamie. So, I filled him in too."

You couldn't even be angry at her for the fact that she told both your mom and Jordie about what had happened. Firstly, the two of them already had some sort of clue as to what was going on between you and Tyler. Secondly, once again, she was just being your best friend and looking out for your best interest– plus now you didn't have to have that awkward conversation once you went home.

"Yeah, Jamie's uh..." Big Rig cleared his throat and you could tell that he was either trying to avoid talking about something or just trying to figure out how to say it.

"Was it bad yesterday?"

"Horrible," he sighed and shifted on the bed again, probably lying back. "Everyone knows."

"Everyone knows?" She asked, the confusion in her voice evident. "As in...they know about Y/N and Tyler?"

"They know everything."

"Jesus Christ! Is Jamie that fucking petty and pissed that he went and blabbered about it to the whole team?" She caught her voice elevating and stopped, placing their food off to the side. "I'm going to kill him. What an asshole and to do that to his own–"

"It wasn't Jamie."

"Then who–"

"Well, I mean, Bish was with Jamie when he...walked in on the two of them, so Jamie told Bish– but he already kind of had a feeling because Jamie said something about it." Big Rig cleared his throat again. "But no, it was some fan account on Instagram for wags, I guess?"

"Explain, now."

You heard him sigh and you contemplated making it known that you were wide awake, but you had to admit to yourself that you were a little bit interested.

"So it some small fan account for wags of the team, I guess. Anyway, so they make a post and they have pictures of Y/N and Tyler from nights we all went to the bar, to pictures of him picking her up from A.B.C. and even his Halloween party. It was like... spam of almost 10 pictures and you can see how close they are and it's not hard to guess that they have something going on."

"Okay, and how does this tie into the whole team finding out?"

"Everyone got tagged in it. Players, girlfriends, wives, I think even Tyler's family and Y/N too. By the time the plane took off, it was kind of common knowledge."

Your heart was racing against your chest and it felt like it could explode at any minute. Everyone on the team and their significant others knew, which meant the coaches and training staff probably knew. How the hell were you supposed to show your face in the locker room tomorrow without wanting to just disappear into thin air?

"Shit, this is pretty much Worst-case scenario. How is she supposed to walk into a room and treat them all for their weak bones when they all know about her and Tyler?" Kennedy sighed her gaze on you.

"I mean...I don't think anyone judges her for it, because she's still Y/N to them, you know?"

"It doesn't matter, J. Even if she's still just Y/N, they'll still probably look at her and think– 'oh wow, she's been boning our teammate. there's another notch on the belt.' And I know they're your friends, but with Tyler's reputation and all males sharing the same brain– you can't tell me that it's not true."

Big Rig was silent for a few moments before deciding to speak again. "The game was even worse. He and Tyler are barely speaking, the tension between them on the ice was obvious as hell. Add in the confusion with Montgomery being fired and the Instagram was the cherry on top of a Sunday that nobody wants."

"Was it that bad? The two of them?"

"A few of the guys and I were talking on the plane ride back and we're all afraid that something is going to happen at practice or in the middle of a game or something and the tension between them with just make the two of them implode."

"And that would be another worst-case scenario come true," Kennedy sighed again. "God, this is such a mess."

That was all you were able to stand before you sat yourself up and turned towards the two of them. You took in their shocked appearances and you knew that they had thought you were asleep and that if you weren't they wouldn't have had this entire conversation with you in the room.

"I'm sorry," you said, your bottom lip starting to tremble no matter how hard you tried to fight it. "It's all my fault that everything is so messed up because I'm just some stupid little girl with a stupid crush and I ruined a friendship and your team chemistry."

Kennedy looked at Big Rig and got up off of her bed and walked over to your bed. "This is in no way, shape or form your fault, Y/N. I want you to get that through your head right now. " She grabbed one of your hands and tugged on it, causing you to look at her. "Tyler is a big boy, he knew what he was doing and he knew the consequences of his actions. So you are not going to put the full blame on yourself."

"She's right," Big Rig spoke up, sitting up in her bed. "Besides, I don't think that they hate each other. I just think that Jamie is probably a little bit embarrassed because he feels like everyone knew what was going on and he didn't. Especially since Jordie and Bish both had their suspicions about it."

"See?" Kennedy smiled, squeezing your hand again. "Your big brother is just letting his itty bitty man pride get in the way of his common sense."

"He probably also thinks that Tyler was taking advantage of you," he cleared his throat, and his cheeks turned a hint of pink at his insinuation of yours and Tyler's relationship. "Especially since he's older and that Jamie trusted him to be like a brother to you whenever he wasn't around."

As comforting as they tried to make their words, they did nothing but only make you feel worse and that you were responsible for everything that had happened. You sniffled and shook your head, looking at the two of them. "I don't think I can finish the internship, not when everybody knows."

Kennedy was about to say something, only to be cut off by the sound of Big Rig's feet thumping against the floor. He had hopped off of the bed and nudged Kennedy to the side, standing in front of you. He tilted your chin up and made you look at him, seriousness written all over his face. "Absolutely fucking not. You are not going to let some tatted doofus make you quit, okay? This is your dream and as your second best friend, I'll be damned if I let you quit, got it?"

"Got it." You smiled and nodded as Kennedy reached in and wiped a tear from your cheek.

Big Rig smiled and patted the side of your cheek. "Good, now come eat some of this food with us."

❒❒❒❒

It turns out that your little bonding night with Big Rig and Kennedy was exactly what you needed. It wasn't a magical cure to fix everything, but it made you fall asleep a little easier that night. And when you woke up the next morning, you were ready to take on your last final just before you'd head off to the arena for the game. When you sat down to take your final, you felt confident in yourself and slightly more relaxed and at ease than you had been the last two days. However, that all changed the moment your Physiology and Anatomy final was placed in front of you and the time to take your test began. It was smooth sailing up until halfway through when you came upon a question that brought out a memory from your many study sessions with Tyler.

For this particular question, you had to identify and label abdominopelvic quadrants, then their divisions, as well as the planes of the body. And the moment you stared at the outlined body and the lines waiting to be filled and identified, your eyes brimmed with tears at the memory of Tyler.

How when you walked into his house that afternoon and ready to study, he was already making the two of you lunch– 'brain food for my brainiac!' And when it came time to label the quadrants and planes, you realized you had forgotten the sheet your professor had given you, at your dorm. Tyler, being as brazen as he was, stood up off of the couch, took off his shirt, held out his arms to his sides, looked at you with a crooked, goofy grin and said, 'go ahead, paint on me like one of your french boys.' And when you corrected him on what the actual movie quote was supposed to be, he just stuck his tongue out at you and said, 'turn me into a masterpiece.' And it took every bit of self-restraint that you had in your body to refrain from telling him that he already was.

When you wrapped up your final and started to make your way to your dorm room to meet Big Rig so the two of you could head to the arena, your next big dilemma crossed your mind: all of the dorms were closing in two days and you had nowhere to stay. You were originally supposed to stay with Jamie and Katie at his place until the two of you were going to fly home together, but you doubt that's an option anymore. But that was another problem for another day and you weren't going to worry about it until later because your only important issue today, would be how you would carry on in the training room today.

When it came time to enter the training room, Big Rig offered to walk in with you, but you told him that if you were going to do this, you would do it yourself and then you ushered him off towards the locker room. You expected your feet to move towards the door and open it before walking inside, but the longer you stared at it, the more frozen you were. You could hear the muffled voices mingling together on the other side of the door, which only made your heart race and the knot in your stomach tangle and tightens. The locker room door opened behind you and you froze, hoping that it wasn't Jamie or Tyler.

"You're still standing here?"

You turned to look at Big Rig, who was now dressed down from his suit and wearing some shorts and a shirt. "You act like I've been standing here for ten minutes."

"Try five, Y/N." He sighed and walked ahead of you, pushing the door halfway open and turning to you, nodding his head towards the door. "Come on, if there's one person who's one-hundred percent on your side, it's me."

You wanted to run into him and hug him tight, but you settled with thanking the Universe for sending Jamie Oleksiak your way before you followed him into the training room. As expected, the immediate conversation stalls, but only for a short second before it picks back up again. And if you weren't so focused on noticing any kind of difference, you might not have noticed that it paused at all. One thing that was extremely obvious though, was the way that all of the boys were looking at you. Sure, they were friendly, that's their character– but you could still see it in every pair of eyes, the fact that they knew about you and Tyler.

And you couldn't help but feel like they were judging you for it.

Klinger was the first one to come up to you while you were preparing Big Rig for his stretches, and you just had an overwhelming urge to hug the swede, but you resisted. "How did your final go, Y/N?" He asked, stopping by and leaning against the table Big Rig was sitting on.

It felt like things might ease back into normality, just based on his normal question and the conversations going on around you– it was like a weight off of your shoulders. "I bet that you aced it," Big Rig said, poking at you with his foot. "You're the genius Benn after all. You and Jenny must have the brains because I don't know what Jordie and Jamie got."

Right, when you went to reply, the door opened and on instinct, you turned to see who walked in. When you saw it was Jamie, it was as if every eye in the room was focused on the two of you. Jamie didn't bother to look your way, making his way over to the cabinet to grab some ibuprofen. "How did your final go?" He asked, his back turned to you and his voice void of any emotion.

"I think I did pretty good," you replied, feeling awkward as he kept his back to you before turning away and walking over towards another table, not even bothering to reply. You turned your attention to Klinger and gave him a small smile. "Thank you for asking, Klinger." You spoke softly.

He gave you a nod and patted your shoulder before going off back into the locker room. Everything felt fine and the awkward tension eased slightly as you went on helping Big Rig with his stretches. Sure, because of Jamie's presence, there was still a slight stir on tension as if everyone was expecting the two of you to implode right then and there– but it wasn't anything that couldn't be easily ignored. However, when the door opened again, this time Tyler walked through and it was like the air was sucked out of the room.

You felt yourself freeze as you went to adjust the band around Big Rig's foot and he tapped his foot against your hand, causing you to look at him. He took a deep breath and then breathed out slowly before nodding his head. You nodded back, still feeling everyone's eyes switching between focusing on you and focusing on Tyler. After you adjusted the band, you went over to your desk, instinctively picking up athletic tape before sitting down in your chair, waiting for someone else to ask for help.

"Hey, John, how long do you think you'll be?" Tyler asked, barely brushing by Jamie to grab a heating pad before pacing it onto his shoulder.

"What do you want done?" John replied, looking up from a separate cabinet.

"My ankles?"

"Give me two and I can help."

Tyler nodded, adjusting the heating pad before walking right back out of the locker room, not even bothering to look in your direction. You were crushed and fighting like hell not to have it show on your face as you sat in your chair, gripping the athletic tape tightly. Soon, tapping your foot against the floor became another way to prevent yourself from giving in to your emotions and before you knew it, Bishop was calling for your attention at Big Rig's table as he hopped off. "Yeah?"

"Can you come over for a second? I need you to help me tape my thumb for me real quick." You walked over, your supplies already in hand and stood in front of the goalie. "How are you doing?"

"Good, especially now that classes are done," you smiled, exhaling lightly. "Now I get to relax...sort of."

"No, Y/N," he said, looking around the room before leaning in closer. "How are you really doing?" The way he raised an eyebrow slightly, gave you a hint as to what he was asking.

You were slightly embarrassed that he was asking you, but at least he wasn't being so blunt and loud about it. "Embarrassed, sad," your eyes lingered away from taping his thumb and over to your brother, who had a focused and zoned in look on his face. "Is disowned too dramatic?"

He laughs lightly, but his lack of answer lets you know that your feelings are completely valid. "I'm sorry by the way," you apologized, cutting the athletic tape. "For making things awkward around here."

"They're grown men, they'll figure it out," he shrugged, watching as you finished taping his thumb. "Don't worry about that, worry about you."

"Do you think I made a mistake?" You asked as he hopped off of the table.

He looks like he wants to say yes, or maybe you're just overthinking it. He shrugs his shoulders and gives you a half-smile. "Is it a mistake if it makes you happy?"

His reply lingered in your mind as you watched him leave the room before returning to your chair. You placed your supplies onto the desk and spun yourself around to face the wall, thinking about what he said and for once, not feeling all too guilty about your decision.

❒❒❒❒

You've never been happier at the fact that you had to stay in the training room during a game. You took solace in the quiet as the muffled music, announcements and cheers were on the other side of the door. Normally, you'd spend this time studying, but since you were done with all of your finals...you had nothing to do but play on your phone, make sure that the training room was clean and of course help any player who came in with something John sent them back to you for.

The game wasn't going so well the second period was almost over and Dallas was down 2-0. Kennedy was sitting with Katie and sending you updates on how Big Rig was doing, but other than that, you were too busy watching random videos on youtube. You're watching one of those astrological card reading videos when you hear the announcers muffled voices yelling about a hit, a fight and then bickering. By the time you were fully able to focus and take out the one headphone, they were done announcing it and the crowd was roaring– a mix of boos and cheers, you couldn't tell. Right when you went to go back to your video, a text message from Kennedy popped up.

"j took a high stick to the face, ty went to go fight the guy who kept trying to go back after j."

"j and ty arguing...it looks ugly."

You clicked on the message, ready to reply and ask for a more specific update when the locker room door swings open violently and Tyler walks in with a pissed look all over his face and blood on his jersey. You weren't sure if it was trainer mode, friend mode or that your feelings were coming into play, but you left your phone on your desk and ran over to him. "Holy shit, Tyler are you okay?"

He looked as if he was mumbling to himself, the anger still evident on his face as he ignored your question. "I'm just going to take your helmet off for you," you said, reaching up to grab his helmet. "Just to make sure the blood isn't coming from–"

As if he snapped back into focus, he stumbled back, looking at you. "Don't touch me!"

You were startled at how loud and angry he sounded. You've never seen him this angry outside of a hockey game, so seeing it first hand right now, was terrifying. But you needed to do your job, so you weren't backing down. "No, I need to check to make sure that your head isn’t bleeding, Tyler. So just let me–"

"Just– don't!" He said, this time glaring at you, the anger on his face still there, but the look in his eyes softening the moment they took in the slight fear on your face. "God, you're acting like...like," he waved his hand in the air as if the words he was looking for were there to catch. "Like some obsessed hook up!"

Your jaw dropped and as if he just understood the words that left his mouth, the anger started to fade off of his face and for a moment, he looked like he might apologize.

The door swung open again, this time Jamie walking in and stopping just a little into the room. His eyes took in just how close the two of you were standing together and he scoffed. "Of fucking course."

Tyler spun around and pointed at Jamie. "Oh shut the fuck up, Jamie. I stood up for your ass just now."

"You think fighting Draisaitl is sticking up for me when you're the reason why he made that fucking comment?" Jamie yelled, his voice getting deeper, something that always happened whenever he got angry. "You wouldn't have to 'stand up for me' if you were focused and knew where to pass the damn puck instead of daydreaming about getting laid!"

"Guys, stop!" You said, trying to move past Tyler to get in between the two grown men, a huge sense of deja vu washing over you. "Jamie, are you okay?"

"Oh, now you seem to care what I think? Where was this before you started sleeping with my best friend?" And there it was, the aggression pointing towards you– the real reason why he was probably upset anyway.

"I asked if you were okay, not for your fucking opinion column, Jamie." You sniped, reaching up and taking off his helmet before tossing it onto a table and going towards where the suture kit was kept so you could pull it out for whoever was coming in to stitch him up. "You have a cut on your forehead.”

"I am focused on this game, so fuck you, Jamie!"

"Really?" Jamie scoffed, shaking his head. "So you're not focused on the fact that you're gonna go home with Maisy and probably get laid tonight?"

You froze, just as you turned back with the suture kit and glue in hand– that one name sending you into a small panic. You looked to Tyler before looking at Jamie, who was just shaking his head. "Oh Y/N, you didn't know? Maisy's here. You know who Maisy is, you remember?"

Tyler shook his head. "What are you–"

"Don't even play coy, Seguin. Katie texted me before the game and said she bumped into Maisy, who coincidentally is sitting in the same seats that you got her last year."

At this point, you felt like you were going to be sick. You had asked Tyler about Maisy and he told you everything. How yeah, she was one of his main hook-ups last season, that he cut it off completely in the summer, it was never super serious and that they haven't talked since.

But Maisy was here in the same seats Tyler gave her last season and Tyler wasn't arguing back...so maybe he didn't tell you everything.

"Why is that, Tyler?" Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows. "Why is Maisy here? Did you get what you wanted from my little sister so you went back to–"

Tyler lunged at Jamie just as Craig walked into the room. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell is going on?" He asked, looking at you as the two fuming hockey players stood apart from one another.

Jamie and Tyler say nothing, only moving onto opposite tables as Craig points Jamie to sit down. "Y/N, can you help Tyler with gluing that cut? It shouldn't be too much."

It felt like your entire body was throbbing as you stood there, still trying to take in the information that Jamie just shared. You looked at Jamie who was fuming and glaring at Tyler. And when you looked at Tyler, his anger was written all over his face, but there was something else mixed in that you couldn't quite pinpoint. When you finally looked at Craig, you shook your head. "I think I'm going to be sick."

You pushed the kit into his chest before running out of the training room and down the hallway, finding the nearest restroom. When you locked yourself inside of a stall, you hunched over the toilet, the tears falling from your eyes and into the toilet bowl as the sobs wrecked you. Everything seemed like it would be okay, but what had just happened in the game tonight and in the training room– proved otherwise. There's no way you'd be able to complete this internship in one piece. You went to reach for your phone to text Kennedy, but only then did you realize that it was sitting on your desk.

There's no way you'd be able to go back into that room with Jamie and Tyler being there together– you wouldn't survive. And it turns out, bathrooms make pretty good hiding spots.

By the time you had deemed the coast to be clear, you made your way back into the training room once the third period started and you knew no one would be in it. When you walked into the empty room, you sent Kennedy a text, asking her to meet you in the hall after the game and then you spent the rest of your time wishing that the game would just end.

The Stars lost 2-1 and Tyler scored a goal in the third. Once upon a time, not too long ago, Tyler would've joked that he scored that goal for you– 'his number one fan beside his mom'– but now you couldn't help but let your mind wander over into if he ever told Maisy the same.

As promised, Kennedy met you in the hallway with Katie by her side. Katie was explaining all of last season of the Maisy and Tyler saga to you and Kennedy, but you wanted no part of it, so you zoned yourself out, staring at the end of the tunnel, wondering if you'd see her walk down this way. By the time both Jamie and Big Rig came out of the locker room, there was still no sign of Maisy and you couldn't help but wonder if she was waiting out there for Tyler or even if at all.

"Y/N, are you coming home with us?" Katie asked, giving you a friendly smile and ignoring the glare in her direction that was coming from your brother.

You weren't ignoring it though and though it was there, you knew how to read your brother and beneath that glare were hints of sadness. But you didn't care, you were still angry at him for the stunt he pulled in the training room and sad at the fact that up until today, he hadn't bothered to talk to you– and even then, it was aggressive. You looked at Big Rig and nodded your head in his direction. "No, they're just going to drop me off before they go to his place."

Your walk from the hallway and through security and parking to Big Rig's car felt like a blur as Kennedy and Big Rig were focused on their conversation. As you got into the back of the car, you leaned forward between the passenger and driver's seats. "I sent my mentor an email during the game tonight and I have a meeting with her on Thursday to talk about the required hours of my internship and see if I've met them yet."

Kennedy turned back to face you so fast, you were sure she was going to have whiplash. Big Rig, as clueless as ever, looked between you and Kennedy. "What does that mean?"

Kennedy kept looking at you, raising an eyebrow and you just nodded. She sighed and turned to Big Rig. "It means she's done being your trainer."

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin oneshot #tyler seguin writing #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl oneshot #hockey imagine #hockey oneshot #hockey writing #tyler seguin one shot #hockey one shot #nhl one shot #ldyk fic #my writing

[ajoblotofjunk]

DVD commentary for the July chapter of HFOG! or just the motorcycle ride if that’s too much lol

All of July is too much for me mentally right now so I’ll do the motorcycle ride. :D This got (unsurprisingly!!) long, so lemme put a Keep Reading cut in real quick.

A week later, on the off Sunday between Winterfell and Lannisport, Jaime was spending his birthday alone at the office.

I’ll do this whole section, since it being on his birthday was the trigger I used to get Jaime to ask her to go on the bike. This scene was one of like three I had in my head from pretty much the beginning. I find motorcycles extremely sexy (I’m an easy target okay) and I loved the idea of forcing these two knuckleheads into that much physical contact in what should theoretically be a platonic experience; I just had to figure out how to get them there since Brienne just spent the last part of June pushing Jaime back a step. Hard to say no to a lonely man on his birthday though.

going clubbing until they were both passed out or dead by the end of it. Bronn was home with Lollys, probably having enough sex to stock them up until August, and Jaime wasn’t really close enough with the rest of the crew to consider spending time with them outside of work.

I think this was the month where I decided Bronn was going to be genuinely happy with Lollys. I know I mentioned her early on but I toyed around in my head for awhile with the idea that he was still kind of loose and maybe even unfaithful to her, and I decided I didn’t want to go that way. I wanted to like Bronn in this fic. He’s kind of my Sarcastic Wise Elder character for these two and I really grew to love the idea that he is just as much an inner softie in his heart as Jaime is, that that sharp outer shell/gooey center combo was something that connected them. I think it really helped in the October chapter that Bronn was likable, because then that scene in the hospital between him and Jaime had a much bigger emotional hit.

The only other person he wanted to see was Brienne and though she’d sent him a ‘happy birthday!’ text that morning unprompted, he hadn’t responded for

I laugh to myself thinking about Brienne hovering over that text message all “should I send a gif? is the text going to be enough? what about emojis? Is it weird if I text him at all? He didn’t tell me it was his birthday but I definitely know it’s his birthday because I have memorized a lot of unimportant facts about a man I am Definitely Not Into.”

lunch, smoked what he swore was the only cigarette he would have as a thirty-six year old, and then aimlessly watched TV for a few hours before driving his motorcycle into the office.

Jaime uses smoking to fill the hole of the things he wants but believes he’ll never have. At the start of the fic that’s respect and winning races. As he slowly gets those things, he smokes whenever he’s thinking about Brienne, even though he does not realize it consciously. Once he gets all three, he stops smoking for good.

There had been a scattered handful of engineers there that afternoon, working away in preparation for the different requirements of Lannisport next week, but

Honestly, sometimes remembering there were hundreds of people working on this team in particular was exhausting. 😂 I always had this constant voice in the back of my head of Lannister Corp scenes of “where are all these other workers and what are they doing?” It works here because I needed the ride to happen at night, but this is just giving me flashbacks to “oh right this team is actually 500-1000 people, not just these 12.”

He raised his glass of water to his empty office. “Happy birthday to me,” he muttered, taking a sip. It wasn’t even flavored water, which felt like such a maudlin statement on his life that he couldn’t finish it.

The “it wasn’t even flavored water” line still makes me laugh to this day. It’s one of my favorite moments in the entire story. It’s so DRAMATIC. Like, my god man, get a hold of yourself. Anyway, I love drama queen Jaime.

He probably should have texted Taena or Melara, but he didn’t want to spend time with them. He didn’t want to listen to his sister’s barely concealed insults

I had a whole bit…I think it was in August? Might have been earlier, I can’t recall now, anyway, two or three paragraphs talking about how Jaime met Melara and Taena and why they all worked out this arrangement and Brynn (rightly) made the point that it didn’t actually add anything to the story I was telling. I managed to cover what really mattered about it in two sentences instead. The moral of this is that this story could have been even longer but Brynn is the best so you should thank her.

find out what she did on her off days, what kind of birthday cake she liked, if

Chocolate with chocolate and fruit filling and chocolate frosting, FYI.

Brienne’s worried frown deepened. “Have you done anything for your birthday today?”

“I had a cigarette.”

She shook her head, looking disappointed. “Anything that doesn’t shorten your life by doing it?”

I also really like this line. I’m a fan of Worried Mom Friend Brienne, too.

“I drank some water,” he grumbled.

Unflavored! Like an ANIMAL. 😂

“Have you even eaten?”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

She blinked, startled, and then a sheepish grin swarmed over her face. “I guess some things don’t change. At least you didn’t insult me this time.”

“Progress,” he said, smiling, watching her features go soft and open in a way he’d probably dream about that night. Distance, his brain reminded him.

I didn’t plan for this quiet callback to the sandwich conversation from January, but I really was pleased to see it happen. It makes sense; Brienne wants the people she cares about to take care of themselves and where back in January I think she felt she was being more his Mom, here they’re both aware she’s being his friend and that’s part of why it’s a softer moment.

“Then come riding with me. Have you been on a motorcycle before?”

“No. My dad was firmly against it after Galladon died.”

At this point in the fic I was pretty sure Brienne was going to drive although I hadn’t worked out all the details of how I was going to get there yet, but when I wrote this I definitely shored up the “Selwyn is very overprotective” support I’d only just started to build back with the phone call in January. I also knew when I wrote this that Jaime was going to bring the motorcycle to Tarth and her dad was going to be all about it, even though I wasn’t sure how that was going to happen. 

“Well,” he said, standing slowly, “your dad’s not here now, is he?”

Fun fact: this story idea first appeared to me in relation to Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire” and there’s a lyric in there - ‘hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone’ - that this quietly references. And actually I wanted the whole motorcycle ride to have the exact same feeling when you’re reading it as I feel listening to that song! It’s a direct path from there to here emotionally.

(In some other universe instead of this I wrote a fic where Jaime keeps bringing his car in to Selwyn’s Garage just so he can see Brienne, grease smudged on her face, and he asks her to deliver it to his home and she does and, well. It doesn’t go like the video. *g*)

(That video and song were very formative influences on young me though I was not aware of it at the time. If you haven’t heard the song or seen the video, here you go: https://youtu.be/lrpXArn3hII)

Jaime arched an eyebrow. “My bike is plenty big.”

Brienne snorted but the red in her cheeks spread out to her crooked her nose and down the freckled length of her long neck. “Sounds like you’re compensating, Lannister.”

I could show you he thought but he bit it back, as well as the image of pushing her against the door of his office and- No. Bad. he told both his errant thoughts and his twitching cock like they were misbehaving dogs. 

Jaime has been horny for her since April (January though he would refuse to acknowledge it if you told him that at this point), give him a break.

He came around the desk and held out his hand and she stared down at it like it was a snake she was trying to decide was poisonous or not.

Brienne gingerly wrapped her long fingers around his

I wanted Brienne to actively participate in the decision to do this, to show through her actions (not just Jaime’s perceptions of her) that she wants this, too. I had to ramp things up for both of them in this chapter because I knew what was coming in August and I wanted them to be ready for that. I couldn’t have gone from where they were in June to the kiss in August, I had to force them together in a way they hadn’t intended so that when they come together intentionally it feels like a natural progressions, and that meant both of them had to be wanting it.

What are you doing? his brain demanded as he led Brienne through the empty corridors out to the front parking lot.

 Enjoying my birthday for once.

I like this because it’s both Jaime making excuses for why he’s doing something really foolish if he’s supposed to be keeping his distance but ALSO true and a sad reflection on his life (and what Brienne brings to it even now).

His bike was parked in Tywin’s CEO spot, where he always parked as a small, childish fuck you to his father. Brienne gasped as they walked up, pulling her hand away to brush the gleaming chrome.

“You have an Iron Throne!”

I know. I KNOW. But I love calling it that. I cast around for motorcycle names for awhile and when I hit on this I could not resist. Iron Thrones in this fic world are basically those giant Harleys that would easily seat two people.

weight of her against his palms. Brienne’s eyes narrowed and he worried for a second she’d heard his thoughts. “It’s not safe to ride without a helmet though, and I don’t have one. Do you have an extra?”

Jaime hadn’t brought his today, either. “We could wear driving helmets.”

As I recall it, Brynn came up with the idea of the helmet scene or at least definitely helped me work out how it was going to go when I got stuck on it. She made the point it should be a cute moment between them and it was right because it made the whole ride seem fun instead of just weighty and tense. The fact they actually have FUN together is really important to me because I think it’s really important to successful relationships in general. If you’re going to be with this person for the rest of you life, I hope like hell you enjoy spending time with them.

When she saw the helmet he had she laughed, the sound bursting up into the sky like a flock of startled birds.

I’m not usually happy with how I describe things - I never feel like it’s as interesting or descriptive or powerful as I want - but I do like this line a lot.

“It’s a helmet,” he said, holding it out to her. The helmet was a bright neon green and covered with frogs forming the words MOAT CAILIN with their bodies. “I got it from one of our sponsors a few years ago and kept it thinking someday I’d wear it just to piss off my father.”

What does Moat Cailin do? I genuinely have no idea. 😂

Brienne took the helmet and held it out away from her like it was a very stinky baby. “You’re sure no one is going to see us?”

“Now who’s vain?”

This made me laugh. I love when Brienne gets to be light-hearted.

“Isn’t there some biker lingo you should use instead?”

“Hop on my hog, sexy mama?”

Goofy Jaime: also a personal favorite. This is kind of an early insight into how he’s going to be in later months when he’s truly, unburdenedly (I made that word up) happy.

Brienne laughed even harder that time and shook her head. “You are so annoying,” she said fondly, climbing on behind him.

The “you’re annoying”/”you’re stubborn” back and forth is something I have been trying to consistently but not overwhelmingly carry through this fic from very early on.

“Since you’ve never ridden before, the primary rule is that you have to lean into the curves with me. If you’re balanced differently than I am it might bring the whole bike down.

Having ridden a motorcycle: this is actually true. It was the first thing the person I was riding with told me.

Her arms fully encircled his waist, her body pressed so firmly against his back he imagined he could feel the weight of her small breasts through his own shirt. He had no jacket but he didn’t need one; even if it hadn’t been for the drowsy summer heat, Brienne’s warmth against him stoked enough fire he could have burned all night.

You shouldn’t ride a motorcyle without proper gear, kids, but Jaime doesn’t give a fuck and for the purpose of this kind of intimate contact, neither do I for this story. 😁

It was almost like sex, the way they moved together around the curves, the blood thrumming in his veins, her occasional breathless gasp. He had to shift a little on his seat to make room for his awkward erection, but he pressed the bike faster, the curves tighter, until she was welded against him and the wind whipped her joyful laughter from her mouth, leaving it like tracers behind them in the dark. 

This is the image in my head when I thought of them on the motorcycle ride. Everything before and after this paragraph is just set up and pay off for this one part.

Centuries ago there had been a keep at the top of Aegon’s High Hill, but all that was left now were old stones weathered by time and the salt air off of Blackwater Bay.

Thank goodness for the internet, and people who post very detailed maps of King’s Landing and Westeros so I can figure out some of this stuff. I have spent a surprising amount of time for this fic looking at maps.

“Why were you at work today?” he asked, staring at her.

Brienne pulled off her hoodie to reveal a tank top underneath, her muscular shoulders bunching as she did so in a way that made his mouth go dry.

There’s a gif that was being posted in the Oathkeepers discord around the time I was writing this that I had in mind explicitly for this moment. 😄

Her skin seemed to absorb the light, making it white and smooth as milkglass, her freckles mirroring the infinite stars. “Truthfully,” she said, “I wanted to spend some time alone with the car.” Even in the moonlight the reddening of her pale cheeks was clear.

Survey says: Mostly true. She also was thinking of him, since it was his birthday. She genuinely did NOT expect him to be there, though.

Jaime walked to the edge of the flat gravel and stared across the Rush to roughly where he thought Tarth would be way down south in the Stormlands. It had been years since he’d been and he didn’t remember it well, but he wished he could so he could picture Brienne there.

Again, I knew he was going to be in Tarth the very next chapter, so I wanted to lay the groundwork for it to seem natural he would be. Bringing it up here was a perfect opportunity for that.

They put their helmets back on, and Brienne her hoodie, and she climbed on behind him again, her arms automatically curling around his waist this time instead of the distant grip of the start. He started the engine and leaned forward a little, and she leaned her head against his shoulder as they took the drive down more slowly.

This easy warmth was important, too. Again, the sexual tension is critical to get them to their breaking point because they’re sure as hell not going to talk about how much they care about each other first (or even for a long while after they start having sex, as we discover), but I wanted there to be something deeper to their bond, too, a connection that I could build on in the second half of the story where you believe they’ll be happy together as an established couple. That they’re comfortable together.

The trip down the hill was as solemn as the stars above and when he parked again in front of the Lannister Corp Racing offices Brienne took her helmet off and stared quietly at him when he remained seated, his visor pushed up.

I think subconsciously this is when Brienne really falls in love with him, because it’s just Jaime being Jaime, and sharing something important to him with her and that kind of openness is the key to her heart.

Sadness gleamed like the stars in her big twilight eyes. Brienne put a hand on his shoulder and his whole body went rigid under her touch. Her fingers crept to the nape of his neck under his helmet, softly brushed through the short hair there before she dragged them away again as her pale skin reddened. 

Brienne was more reserved here in the initial draft of this and Brynn thought there should be more and she was - as usual - absolutely right. So the touch was added to fully seal the momentous connection that happened here.

“You can get home okay?” he asked.

“I’ll take the bus, there’s a stop just by the sports bar.”

Brienne the Bus Rider strikes again. Hee.

He couldn’t even quit smoking; how was he ever going to quit wanting Brienne?

These two things are connected here for a reason! As noted above. Hee.

Wow this was fun for me, thank you for asking! 😊

[DVD Commentary Meme - Asks are open]

#dvd commentary meme #heart full of gasoline #the-world-unseen #i was lowkey worried i wasn't going to have anything to say #idk why given my history with this story in particular #but anyway this was kind of illuminating for me too #so thanks! #hopefully it's not super boring hee

[pufflyhallows]

Happiness

Gif not mine

Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader

Summary: Remus has been distancing himself from you as he realized something that broke his heart. 

Warnings: ANGST, language

Word count: 4,7k

********

You felt worn out. Your relationship with Remus had become a puzzle and it was nearly impossible to solve it. To say you were tired was an understatement. You had spent nights awake trying to understand what had happened to the fire you two had when you first started dating, six years ago. It felt like he didn’t love you anymore. He had been so distant and cold towards you, always avoiding conversations and touches. It was hurting you so bad, and the fact that you didn’t even know why he was acting that way made things worse. It had all started so suddenly.

One Monday night, when he got home from work, he went straight to your shared bedroom without saying a word to you, who was sitting on the couch in the living room, waiting for him. Your heart ached, but by that time you were already used to it. He did the same thing on Tuesday, and then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Why was he doing that to you?

On Saturday, he told you he had plans with Sirius and left you alone the entire day. Sunday, you were the one who left him alone.

You knocked at the door and waited. A few seconds later, a tired James opened it.

“Y/N! Come in, come in,” he stepped aside so you could enter the house, “Lily is upstairs putting Harry to sleep. I was trying to cook something for lunch, but I’m having a surprisingly hard time.”

“Do you want some help?” you asked, taking off your coat and hanging it on the coat hook.

“If Lily was around, I would say no because you’re a guest, but… yes, please.”

You smiled and followed him to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, you managed to save his spaghetti while he made pumpkin juice.

“So,” James said as he set the table for three, “How’s Moony?”

“Good,” you lied, you didn’t want to take the risk of James telling Remus that you were worried, “Just working a lot.”

“Oh yeah, I totally get that.”

“And how’s little Harry?” you asked, leaning on the sink and crossing your arms.

“Showing me that parenting is harder than a Quidditch match in a stormy night against the Irish National Team all by yourself,” he sighed, “but also a lot more gratifying.”

You shared a grin before Lily came in the kitchen.

“I knew I had heard the voice of an angel,” she joked.

“Aw, babe!” James covered his mouth with one hand and placed the other on his chest, in a fake flattered manner.

“I was talking about Y/N,” she playfully rolled her eyes and came closer to hug you.

You hugged her back tightly. You needed that so bad and Lily could tell immediately that you weren’t okay.

“How are you?” she whispered in your ear through the hug.

“Good,” you lied again, knowing that Lily would take the hint and not bring up the subject in front of James.

“Let’s eat,” she smiled at you after you let go of each other.

That was the best lunch you had in weeks. Not because of the food, but because the people with you simply acknowledged your presence at the table, something that wasn’t happening when you were with Remus.

Your conversation with James and Lily was interrupted by a crying Harry. James went upstairs to put him back to sleep, leaving you and Lily alone in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as she heard James closing the door.

“Remus,” you replied, already feeling the tears coming, “I think he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“What?! That’s impossible, Y/N. Remus is completely in love with you. What makes you think that?”

“He’s been so distant and so cold! He doesn’t talk to me anymore. It’s like he’s always in his mind, never here with me. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

“I do. Have you tried asking him why?”

“I have! He says nothing has changed, that he’s fine, that it’s all in my head. But I know it’s not! I know something is up. Remus is not like that at all.”

Lily didn’t know what to say. It seemed like you had already tried to fix things. And you had! She didn’t know how she could help you.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” she offered.

“I don’t know… Maybe. I don’t wanna break up with him, Lily,” you said as the tears began to fall down, “But sometimes I feel like that’s the only option.”

“No, it’s not! We’ll figure it out. Just give me a second.”

She thought about it for a couple of minutes while you played with the food on your plate before she spoke again.

“Listen, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m gonna convince James to leave Harry with a babysitter so we can have a night out on Friday. I’m gonna invite Sirius, Peter, Marlene and Dorcas. And you invite Remus, but make sure he goes with you. If he says he doesn’t want to, use the excuse of me and James being too busy and never having the chance to go out with you guys or whatever. Use your creativity! The rest is on me.”

“What are you going to do?” you frowned.

“I’m just gonna talk to him. Don’t worry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week went by rather quickly. You decided to talk to Remus only on Thursday night, so he wouldn’t have much time to change his mind in case he said yes.

When you were silently having dinner, you cleared your throat.

“Remus?” you called, received a ‘hm’ in response and he didn’t look up at you, which was something quite discouraging, but you kept going. “I forgot to tell you, but Lily and James found a nice babysitter to stay with Harry tomorrow night. They’re going to this party and… they want us to go too as it’s been a while since they last went out with us.”

Your boyfriend stopped cutting the meat on his plate.

“I think Sirius mentioned it yesterday. I’m not sure if I want to go, though,” he said, looking down at his food.

“But they never get to go out now. They’re counting on us, Remus,” you argued.

“You can go, Y/N,” he finally looked up at you.

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood,” he stated in his usual cold tone and started cutting his meat again, as if the conversation was over.

“Please, Rem,” you practically begged, “If not for me, for them.”

Your boyfriend sighed, apparently giving in, but you still needed to hear him say.

“Okay.”

“Thank you,” you smiled sadly and reached for his hand, but he moved it away to grab his glass, a visible excuse.

Twenty four hours later, you were having a shower. The outfit you had picked for the occasion was one Remus was really fond of. Maybe that would help, you didn’t know.

When you left the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around you, Remus was already dressed up, just putting on his shoes.

“Am I late?” you asked jokingly, hoping he would joke back.

“No,” he answered coldly again, “I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

“Okay,” you replied in a hurt, quiet tone.

That made Remus hesitate before leaving the room, which gave you hope he still cared. But he did leave without saying anything, so it didn’t really matter.

You put on your dress and sighed. The first time you wore that dress, Remus said he had never seen a more beautiful woman. The memory made you feel sad.

Shrugging off the feeling, you put on your makeup quickly as it was close to the time Lily had asked you to show up. When you were satisfied with the result, you grabbed your purse and left the room.

“I’m ready,” you announced as you stepped in the living room.

While you searched for your wand, Remus watched you. He couldn’t look away, you looked so beautiful. That dress... He remembered the first time he saw you in that dress. It was your fourth anniversary and you celebrated it by going out at night by yourselves. It was just the two of you freely wandering around town. You went to a fancy restaurant and had dinner, vowing to never go back there again because you had spilled wine on the white tablecloth, and then you went to a club, not staying long because it was too hot. He remembered you joking that the two of you could act like a young couple in a hour and as an old one in the next. He remembered all that in a second. 

“Found it,” you whispered more to yourself than him and put the wand in your purse, “Let’s go?”

He nodded slowly and you held his hand. The moment you touched him, you realized it was the first time in days. You two disapparated and soon were standing in front of the big house where the party would take place. There were people everywhere: in the front yard, inside the house, on the porch, in the backyard… Every part of the house was full.

Remus let go of your hand and you both entered the house. The music was really loud inside and there were so many people that you lost sight of him. You looked around and didn’t see him anywhere, until a hand was gently placed on your waist. It was your boyfriend. That small action made you feel the butterflies from the beginning of your relationship, probably because you hadn’t been that intimate in weeks.

“I saw Sirius,” Remus said in your ear, “This way.”

You followed him to a corner of the house, where Sirius and Marlene were talking.

“Moony! Y/N! I’m glad you’re here,” Sirius hugged Remus and then you.

“Me too,” you smiled at him, “Hey, Marls.”

“Hey, babe,” she hugged you tight and greeted Remus, “Do you guys want a drink?”

“I do,” you replied, but Remus shook his head.

Marlene handed you a shot of… whatever that was and you quickly downed it.

“Where are the others?” you asked.

“Peter said he was going to the bathroom and disappeared. Dorcas is snogging a girl over there and James and Lily haven’t arrived yet,” Sirius answered.

“They haven’t?” you frowned, “Do you think they had a problem with the babysitter?”

“Last time I talked to Lily, which was an hour ago, everything was good,” Marlene said, “They’re probably just late.”

Remus was quiet, just observing the people in the house and regretting going to that party.

“Whose house is this?” he asked Sirius.

“I don’t know,” the young man shook his head, “An acquaintance of Lily, I think.”

“There they are,” Marlene pointed at behind you and you turned around quickly. James and Lily walked towards you with smiles on their faces. You felt the nervousness build up in your core as you knew the time was coming closer.

“Oh, how I missed loud music and crowded environments!” James joked as he hugged each person of the group. Lily did the same.

“I’m glad you could make it,” she said in your ear, “Now just relax and enjoy the party, preferably away from Remus.”

“What?” you frowned at her. Your boyfriend was talking to his fellow Marauders a few steps away from you and Lily.

“Trust me. He’s not gonna tell me anything with you around,” she explained, “Go have fun with Marls, she already knows.”

“You told her?” you looked shocked at Lily.

“Not everything. I just asked her to make you company. Don’t worry, I’m not a snitch,” she poked you in the rib.

“Okay,” you breathed, “I think I need more drinks.”

You spotted a bar on the other side of the house and decided it was a good call to go there with Marlene. You invited her to join you and she gladly accepted.

When you walked away, Lily approached Remus.

“Okay, why don’t you have a drink in your hand?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sorry, Lily. I’m not drinking tonight,” he chuckled at the facial expression she had after he said that.

“No friend of mine will stay sober at this party,” she warned him, “James, can you grab a drink for Rem here?”

“Lily, it’s really not necess-”

“Sure!” James replied and walked over to the bar.

“You have no choice, Moony,” Sirius said, “What Lily wants, Lily gets.”

“Good boy,” she teased.

“Yeah, I guess I don’t,” Remus sighed.

“Hey, guys,” Peter approached them. He had a lipstick stain on his neck.

“Way to go, Wormy!” Sirius laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder. 

“I-I got lost,” Peter tried to explain himself.

Lily and Remus smiled at each other, knowing for a fact that it was a complete shameless lie.

“Here it is,” James arrived with Remus’ drinks, “Two shots of tequila for starters.”

“Two?!” your boyfriend looked at his friend with widen eyes, “Don’t you think that’s too much?”

“Nope,” Lily answered before James had the chance, “Now down it like a big boy.”

James handed Remus the drinks and went back to the bar to get more for his friends and himself.

“Okay,” Remus took a deep breath and downed the first shot. It burned everything it touched, but the feeling actually felt nice. Before he could change his mind, he downed the second one.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Sirius grinned when James came back with more drinks.

The small group of friends started drinking, chatting and dancing. Lily was the only one who wasn’t drinking alcohol, as she was a breastfeeding mom, and she also wanted to stay in her right mind so she could execute her plan.

Dorcas joined them after a while, looking for Marlene. When Lily told her where she was, the girl left towards the bar.

“Hello, my beautiful girls,” she greeted you and Marlene.

“Hey, Dork,” Marlene replied with the nickname Dorcas hated, receiving the middle finger in return.

“I came here to demand a dance. Let’s go,” she pulled you and Marlene to the improvised dance-floor, leaving your drinks behind.

The three of you started moving to the fast beat of the song. It didn’t take long for a guy to show up and start hitting on Marlene, who began to dance with him. Seeing that, you felt sad. How you missed dancing like that with Remus. You wondered if Lily was talking to him at that point.

At the other side of the house, Sirius was already dancing with a girl he had approached. Peter had gone missing again and James and Lily talked to Remus. 

When Lily saw the opportunity, she asked James to go get more drinks for them, which he did, leaving her alone with Remus. She needed to check if it was time to make a move.

“Y/N is dancing over there,” she said and Remus looked over to the dance-floor, seeing you with Dorcas, “Why don’t you join her?”

“I don’t really dance,” he replied. She knew that was a lie, which meant she needed him to drink more for her plan to work.

James came back with more shots and handed a couple to Remus. Since he was loosening up already, he didn’t reject the drinks. He downed them quickly and shook his head to get rid of the burning feeling. Lily watched patiently, waiting for him to get tipsy. She moved closer to James and whispered in his ear, asking him to go look for Peter because ‘she was worried’. The young man did as his wife asked and left the two friends alone again. She felt bad for using James like that, but it was for a greater good.

When Lily saw Remus starting to move to the beat of the song, she knew the time was coming closer and closer.

“So, what’s up, Rem?” she approached him, dancing as well. She needed him as comfortable as possible.

“Nothing different from usual,” he answered, “There’s this really annoying guy at work, though, who is driving me crazy.”

“Tell me about him.”

From across the house, you tried to see where Remus was, but the place was too crowded for that.

“Relax, Y/N,” Marlene put an arm around your shoulder, “Here.”

She gave you another shot of tequila and you downed it. You sure needed to relax.

“Thanks,” you smiled at her.

“You’re welcome, hun.”

“Excuse me,” a guy said next to you, “I couldn’t not watch you from where I was. You’re really beautiful. Can I have a dance?”

You looked at him quite surprised. Was he talking to you or Marlene?

“Of course you can,” she replied pushing you towards him. “It’s just a dance. Relax,” she added as a whisper in your ear and walked away back to the bar, leaving you alone with the guy.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Y/N,” you answered unsure.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Tom,” he smiled and reached for your hand, placing a soft kiss on it. You felt really uncomfortable with that, you couldn’t do it.

“Nice to meet you too, Tom. I’m sorry, but I have a boyfriend and he’s here at the party,” you explained, stepping back.

“Really? Wow,” he frowned, “What kind of man leaves his gorgeous girlfriend alone at a party?”

You didn’t say anything, feeling too embarrassed for that. Tom walked away and approached another girl, probably using the same pick-up line.

You sighed.

“What was that?” Marlene showed up next to you.

“‘Of course you can’, huh?” you gave her a bitter look, “You know I couldn’t do that to Remus.”

“It was just a dance!” she protested, “It’s no harm.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” you shook your head and walked away.

At the opposite side of the house, Lily danced with Remus.

“…and then he said I needed to read more about those potions,” he snorted, “As if I didn’t know about them already. I was the one who brought them up in the first place!”

“Yeah, that guy is an idiot,” Lily nodded. She had to make Remus comfortable, which meant she had to listen to everything he had to say before she could ask the things she wanted to know.

“He is,” Remus agreed. He was really tipsy by now, letting out all the things that bothered him, even the silliest ones.

“But tell me, Rem. How’s everything at home?”

“It’s...” he looked around, searching for you. When he remembered you were far away with the girls, he looked back at Lily, “It’s terrible. I’m an asshole.”

“Don’t say that, you’re not an asshole,” Lily touched his shoulder, “What happened?”

“I can’t give Y/N what she wants and deserves,” he answered, starting to dance again.

“And what is that?”

“A future like yours with James. You know, get married, have children… all that.”

“And why don’t you want that?”

“What?! You think I don’t want that?” he laughed, “Of course I want that! I just can’t...”

“I don’t understand.”

“Come with me,” Remus clumsily took Lily’s hand and pulled her to the front yard, where the music was muffled and they could talk, “Do you really wanna know what happened?”

Lily nodded, worried and slightly scared.

“After Harry was born, Y/N started talking about her future and how she wants to get married and have her own baby one day. But I can’t give her that. I don’t want Y/N to have the eternal responsibility of watching over me during my transformations. I can’t do that to her, I can’t be a burden. And I can’t even imagine how it would be if we had a baby and they were like me! I don’t have the strength to break up with her, because she is the love of my life. So I’m here, being an asshole, hoping that she’ll realize all of this by herself and dump me, so she can find the right man for her, who will make her happy. But I’m also dreading the day that happens because, like I said, she is the love of my life. And it kills me every day that I’m hurting her, but I don’t know how to deal with this. I am an idiot, Lily, and that’s what happened.”

Lily looked at Remus completely speechless. She didn’t even know how to react. That was too much. She wanted to help! But she didn’t know how.

“Remus,” her voice barely came out as a whisper, “Y/N loves you more than anything in this world.”

The man looked away.

“Talk to her,” she gently held his chin to make him look back at her, “Just talk to her.”

“I can’t,” he shook his head and stepped back, “I’m sorry.”

With a loud crack, Remus disapparated.

Lily rushed back to the house, searching for you, but she found only Marlene and Dorcas talking to each other with their drinks in their hands by the bar.

“Where’s Y/N?” she asked Marlene and the girl sighed.

“I fucked up. She went home.”

“What do you mean you fucked up?!”

“I wanted her to have fun! But she said she couldn’t do it to Remus,” Marlene replied in a clumsy way, visibly drunk, “Then she walked away saying that the party was a mistake and disapparated. I think she was crying.”

“Shit, Marls!” Lily took a deep breath, trying not to panic.

“I’m sorry! Okay?! I didn’t mean to upset her,” Marlene downed her drink aggressively.

“It’s not your fault,” Lily shook her head, “She’s upset about something else.”

“Lily, relax. Have a drink,” Dorcas handed her a glass, “Y/N will be fine.”

“I should go to her apartment, talk to her…”

“Been there, done that. She made it very clear that she wants to be alone,” Dorcas raised an eyebrow, “She’s not drunk. She’ll be fine.”

Dorcas managed to calm Lily down a little, but she was still worried. Her plan had not only failed, but also taken a completely unexpected turn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You apparated in your apartment sobbing. Dorcas came after you trying to fix what Marlene had done, but she hadn’t done anything wrong, she wasn’t the reason you had left the party. You asked Dorcas to go away, reassuring her you would be fine, you just needed to put your thoughts in order.

What kind of man leaves his girlfriend alone?

“The kind that doesn’t love you anymore,” you whispered to yourself through the tears.

You fell on the couch and cried for a while, trying desperately to get rid of the tightness in your chest. Everything was so overwhelming, you felt so exhausted. You just wanted those feelings to go away… You knew it didn’t really make sense to cry about it, but you couldn’t help it. Maybe you kept it locked for too long...

You gathered the remaining strength in your body and stood up from the couch, your steps faltering a little towards the bathroom. You didn’t take off your clothes before turning the shower on. 

You lost track of time in there. The thought of not being loved by the man you loved so much was haunting you.

Six years. Six years of building a strong, solid love…

“Happy anniversary,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

“The first of many,” you smiled back and pressed your lips on his.

The stubborn memories flashed through your head as if Remus was fucking dead.

“Would you… um… Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me? Like, on a date,” he asked nervously.

“Yes! I would love to.”

You got out of the shower and took off all your clothes, throwing them on the floor. 

“I’m Y/N,” you held out your hand.

“Remus,” he shook it.

You opened your wardrobe and grabbed the first thing you saw to put on. Barefoot and with your hair still humid, you went to the kitchen. You needed a hot cup of tea. Lily was probably talking to him at that moment and you felt a bit silly for breaking down so prematurely.

But then you heard it. The familiar loud crack, being followed by heavy and fast steps that went straight to the bedroom.

You put the empty cup back in the cupboard and took a deep breath. Should you go there? Lily had already talked to him, probably. Or maybe not. You couldn’t know.

You thought you would hear him do the usual: take a shower and go to bed; but you didn’t hear anything. The apartment was quiet. You began to worry. Deciding it was a waste of time to just stand there thinking, you walked towards the closed door.

When you touched the doorknob, you heard a sniff. Was he… was he crying?

You opened the door and saw Remus sitting on your shared bed, resting his elbows on his knees and with his head down, a suitcase by his side. He looked up at you with a surprised look, allowing you to see the tears falling down.

“What are you doing?” you asked, looking at the suitcase.

“I thought… I thought you were at the party,” he replied. At least, he was talking.

“What’s the bag for?” you pointed at it.

Remus looked at it and immediately started to cry more intensely, hiding his face on his hands, sobbing.

“Rem…” you sat on the bed by his side and pulled him for a hug, your tears falling down as well, “What’s going on?”

You knew the answer, but you refused to accept it. There was a tiny little part of you that still had hope he would say anything but ‘I’m leaving’.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he sobbed, hiding his face on the crook of your neck this time, “I can’t.”

You hugged him tighter, placing one hand on the back of his head and slowly caressing his hair.

“Shh… Breathe.”

“I can’t,” he repeated, “I have to go.”

“You’re drunk,” you whispered in his ear, trying to hold back the tears and be the rational one in the situation, “You’re not thinking straight.”

“Can’t you see, Y/N?” he let go of you to look in your eyes, the view you had was heartbreaking, he was a mess, “I’m no good for you.”

“That is complete nonsense, Remus. What happened? Why are you saying all of this?”

“I can’t marry you,” he sobbed, earning a shocked look from you, “I can’t give you a family. I know that’s what you want! And I want it too but… I’m a monster, I can’t do that to you.”

“Do what?” you frowned, “You’re not a monster!”

Remus shook his head and stood up.

“I would be a burden to you. In fact, I already am,” he looked at you, the tears never stopping from falling, “And how would I ever forgive myself if I knowingly risk passing on my own condition to an innocent child?”

“Rem… You are not and you never will be a burden,” you stood up as well, “You’re the man I love!”

“Y-You need someone to make you happy and I’m not-”

“You already make me happy!”

“I can’t give you what you want!”

“I want you!” you broke down, sitting on the bed again as you felt your knees weaken. You hid your face on your hands just like your boyfriend had done before, sobbing.

Remus watched you without knowing what to do. It killed him to see you like that because of him. But he had to do it! He had to set you free so you could be happy.

“You don’t love me anymore…” you said between sobs, suddenly, “Just tell me already. It’s easier than coming up with all those shitty excuses to dump me.”

“Excuses?” Remus felt offended, “They’re the truth! I love you, Y/N. More than anything I’ve ever loved in my entire life. You are by far the best thing that ever happened to me. And I can’t ruin you like that…”

“Ruin me?” you moved your hands from your face so you could look at him, “I love you! How many times do I have to say this? All those things you mentioned – marriage, children – all that only matters if it’s with you! I want that with you. But if you don’t want to, it’s… it’s okay… I want you more than any of those things.”

Those words moved Remus deeply, because he knew how much having your own family meant to you, and if you were willing to give up on that for him… Merlin.

He stared at you, not knowing what to say. He also felt dizzy, but he couldn’t tell if it was the shock of the moment or the alcohol. Probably both.

“Come here,” you said, patting on the mattress beside you, after wiping your tears.

Remus slowly sat down next to you.

“You are drunk,” you whispered, taking his hand in yours, “Let’s go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

For your relief, he nodded.

You stood up and closed the door, while Remus changed his clothes.

Soon enough, you were both on the bed, lying down and looking up, a few inches apart.

The minutes went by and you could only hear his soft breathing, a sound that always made you feel safe.

You didn’t know how long it took for you to fall asleep, but you were sure the last thing you heard before closing your eyes was a heavy ‘I’m sorry’.

********

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fic #remus lupin one-shot #moony #marauder #marauders imagine #angst #remus lupin angst #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #hogwarts #gryffindor #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #random tag #i'm stupid

[fooled-around-and-fell]

The Spy (1)

Summary: Steve is taking a break, he’s having a nice small vacation by himself and runs into a unique person, who has their own secrets.

Genre: romance, fluff, angst

Pairing: ? ? ?

(gif is not mine)

Steve hadn’t felt so free in his life. Well, he’s not really free, but at least he has the next few weeks to himself. He hid himself in a small town, there were less people but enough crowd.

He’s been in this town for three days now, he stayed at a local motel, a place decent enough to live in and lay low. He’s still having trouble sleeping most of the time, casually going on a stroll late at night, having a nice conversation with the old man next door - who must be a good twenty years younger than him, he talked about his father who went to the second world war a lot. He cried sometimes, reminiscing the day he came home from school to find two officers on his front door, his mother on the ground crying her eyes out.

Steve could only listen. He too, lost his loved ones in the world war. His best friend, his best girl...his life ended when he crashed himself in that ice, and now...he’s not sure how to fit in anymore. Of course he had friends, the Avengers, Bucky, and perhaps many other super people, but he kept asking himself;

When will it all end?

--

Steve looked at the peculiar building in front of him, then back at his sketchbook. Four days in and his sketchbook was almost full. He just couldn’t stop drawing. He drew buildings, flowers, kids playing, anything he could find. And he was getting bored of drawing the same things all over again. Steve sighed and dropped his pencil.

“Ran out of things to draw?” Eileen chuckled, pouring him another cup of coffee.

“It’s getting too easy.” Steve said smugly. “Thanks for the coffee, Eileen.”

Eileen snorted, “how about you go to the carnival? They’re opening tomorrow.”

“Carnival?” Steve frowned, “Where is it?”

“Just by the square,” She pointed across the street, “But there are going to be a lot of people there.”

Steve gave her a light smile. Eileen was a woman in her forties, she owned the local diner that everyone knows and goes to every Sunday after church. And Steve trusted her because he thought she was the only person who knew he was Captain America. How naive.

After finishing his coffee, Steve collected his things and went back to the motel, greeting some of the people who passed by, played with a few kids who passed him a baseball. He could imagine himself staying here for the rest of his life, enjoying the fresh wind and the beautiful sunset.

But as the sun sets and the night falls, he soon realized that staying wasn’t an option. One day or the other, the world was going to need him. He couldn’t stay.

Just as Steve was about to turn right, he saw the Carnival being set up. There was a Ferris Wheel, a big red and white striped tent, various stands - it was as if he was back in the 40s. Smiling at the thought, he might actually go tomorrow.

--

The Carnival was crowded, just as the Eileen said it would be. Steve came to the Carnival at around 12 PM, and everyone was crowding the place. Kids were running around chasing each other, old couples were sitting on the benches, as they ate their lunch, couples were playing the dart game to win their loved ones a prize - something he wished to have since long ago.

Steve sat on an empty bench. He bought a weird looking fried potato earlier and after eating, he took his sketchbook out. Eileen was right, there were a lot of things he could draw here. Steve usually drew people without their faces, because it would seem so creepy and weird to draw someone without consent so he left them blank.

As he was drawing this kid who was playing a kite, he suddenly remembered the times he had spent with Bucky before the war. They were both just kids trying to get by, reach their dreams to be in the army. And somehow they did achieve that dream, but it also brought them suffering. Steve no longer recognized the little kid from Brooklyn - he couldn’t go back to who he was even if he tried, and Bucky... he wasn’t the same. Steve didn’t blame him of course, war changes people whether you like it or not.

When Steve looked up to get another look at the kid, he was gone. Steve was halfway finished with his drawing and looked left and right for the kid with the kite, and he found him. He found the kid right next to him, looking at his drawing with a pout on his face.

“Uh...hi.” Steve didn’t know what to say.

“Mommy always said it’s bad to take a picture without permission..” The little boy sulked, “But I don’t know if this counts..” He motioned at the unfinished drawing of himself in the striped tee, navy hat and dark shorts, and his now missing kite.

Steve quirked an awkward smile. “How about I’ll give it to you when I’m finished?”

The boy shrugged and sat next to Steve.

Steve noticed the kid’s sulking face and his missing kite. “So why aren’t you playing the kite anymore?”

“It’s gone. I’m waiting for my auntie to pick me up.. She’s probably going to get mad.” He sulked even more.

Feeling sorry for the poor kid, Steve put away his book in his pocket and stood up, “why don’t we go look for it then? I’m sure it didn’t fly away very far and maybe we’ll run into your aunt too.”

Seeing Steve’s kind smile and determination, the kid gave a firm nod and stormed along with Steve’s big steps, determined to find his kite.

But of course the kite was never found, and they ended up playing and exploring the Carnival. Steve won the little boy a toy train named Thomas, bought him a cotton candy and himself an ice cream.

“Andrew!!”

They both suddenly heard a shrill cry coming towards them. It was a woman who looked very angry and worried at the same time, and Steve just remembered the kid was supposed to wait for his aunt. Was she his aunt?

“I told you to wait for me, remember? Where have you been? I’ve been so worried.”

The little boy, Andrew, looked down with a pout as he stopped playing with his toy as he mumbled. “Sorry, Y/N..”

Steve cleared his throat, “uh, sorry, miss. I was with your nephew. We were looking for his lost kite a while ago and lost track of time. I should’ve noticed, I’m sorry.”

Y/N looked at Steve and she nodded. “It’s fine, he’s okay so you don’t need to apologize. Thank you for accompanying him, uh..”

“S- Mike. My name’s Mike.” Steve lied and bit his tongue.

Y/N smiled, “thank you, Mike. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Well I’m sorry, but we have to get going now..” Y/N offered Andrew a hand and he took it, “I’ll see you around...Mike.”

--

The moment Y/N saw Steve, she immediately knew who he was. How could she not? He’s Captain America. She bet the entire town knew who he was too, but they just didn’t care. But this made her aware. Captain America is in her town, what could this possibly mean?

Did SHIELD put him up for this? Were they trying to get to her?

No, impossible. She’s been careful all her life, nobody knew about her except her sister. Y/N chewed on her lip as thoughts of panic ran through her head.

Her phone suddenly rang - it was her sister.

“Rebecca,” Y/N’s voice was filled with worry, “Where are you?”

“Eileen’s.” She said, “You won’t believe who’s here.”

“I know who’s in this town, Becca, but why? How? Is he here for me? Did they find out-”

“Hey, calm down. That’s not possible. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.”

“We thought so too last time.” Y/N sighed, “...But you’re right. I’m probably just overthinking this, sorry.”

Rebecca chuckled, “It’s fine. But I called just in case, okay?”

“Okay.” Y/N answered, “And just in case anything happens, it’s probably best if I don’t babysit Andrew for a while.”

“...You’re not gonna-”

“I won’t, I promise.” Y/N assured her, “I won’t run anymore.”

“Good.” Rebecca sighed on the other line, “Okay, I gotta go. Love you, sis.”

“Okay, love you too. Take care.” Y/N hung up and covered her face with her hands.

Y/N wasn’t a normal person. She didn’t have the white-picket-fence life when growing up, unlike her sister. Her sister wasn’t even her sister until 5 years ago, when Y/N just came to town and met Rebecca. Rebecca was the first person to know Y/N’s history and she decided to take her in as if Y/N was her adopted sister.

For 5 years Y/N’s been living in this small town, she’s only encountered danger once. That was 4 years ago, when Russian spies found her location and tried to kill her and her loved ones. She tried to run away, she thought it would be easier if she disappeared, but Rebecca begged her to stay. Y/N was the closest she ever had to family, being an orphan as well, and Rebecca was Y/N’s. So she decided to stay.

Sighing again, Y/N grabbed her jacket and decided to take a walk. She needed the fresh air, and she needed to know just what Captain America was trying to do.

--

It’s been a while since Steve saw that Y/N. Ever since their encounter in the carnival, Steve’s been trying to search for her. Not like he’s stalking her or anything, he just wanted to ask her out. She was beautiful, had a great smile, and he’s on vacation! Asking a girl out wouldn’t hurt, right?

Though it’s a shame that his vacation was ending today. Something came up in Wakanda and T’Challa needed help. He’s back at Eileen’s again, this time with a stack of pancakes and ice coffee for the hot day.

“Looks like someone is having their cheat day.” Eileen commented.

Steve chuckled, “it’s my last meal here. I gotta go back to Wa- Washington. Got some paperwork piled up, you know. Haha.”

“I thought you’re from New York?” Eileen raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, yeah. I just uh...have another office in Washington.” Steve smiled nervously.

Eileen nodded awkwardly, “Uh-huh. Well, none of my business. Enjoy your last meal, Mike. I’ll get you free coffee for the road and some fries. How ‘bout that?”

“That sounds great. Thank you, Eileen.”

“You’re welcome.” Eileen smiled before going back to her kitchen.

“That was close.” Steve mumbled before drinking his coffee. He’s getting good at this laying low thing.

In the corner of his eye, he saw a foreigner come in the diner with a rolled up newspaper who looked around the room first before sitting down. To any other people, it would seem normal. But this man wore a terribly long, thick coat with boots and gloves. It was as if he were in an 80s movie playing a detective who would smoke Cuban cigarettes.

Just then, another foreigner came in the diner with similar looking clothes. He shared a look with the first man and sat far away from him, somewhere behind Steve. Steve immediately knew what this was. Steve couldn’t finish his pancakes now and put a few dollar bills on the table before leaving the diner.

Of course, the two men followed him. Who could they be? HYDRA? Steve turned to the right too fast and bumped into someone.

“Ca- Mike!”

“What- Y/N!”

Steve glanced behind him and couldn’t see the men. He sighed in relief. “Hey, uh.. how are you?”

Y/N looked behind her and saw the two Russians who were following her. “Uh, I’m good! Yeah. Listen, I have to go-” She was about to go past Steve when she saw two other Russians behind him. “Shit.”

Steve frowned, “What, what is it-” He saw two other agents jogging towards their way, “Fuck.”

Steve and Y/N shared a look of realization. “Wait, are you-”

“Cap, watch out!” Y/N pulled him to the side when the Russians behind him pulled out guns and started firing.

“Did you just-”

“Oh shut up!” Y/N shouted and pulled him with her to the small alley. Four men fired at them as they ran.

Steve ran behind her, a lot of thoughts running through his head. “Who the hell are you?!”

“Can we please not do this right now??!” Y/N exclaimed as she jumped over the fence. She couldn’t believe she called him Cap! Of all times!

After running for a while, they finally stopped behind Al’s Hardware Store. “Did we lose them?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Steve panted and finally looked at her. “So, who are you?”

Y/N looked at him and sighed. “I’m Y/N-”

“Don’t lie to me-”

“Would you let me talk? Jesus.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m Y/N Viktorovna. I was a Russian spy-.”

“You’re a Russian spy?”

“Was!” Y/N hissed. “Those Russian men were chasing me because I escaped 5 years ago.”

“Why did you escape?”

“None of your business.”

Steve frowned. “I don’t trust you.”

“I never told you to.” She scoffed, “What the hell is Captain America doing in this small town anyway?”

“Vacation.”

“What a load of crap.”

Steve scoffed, “I was on vacation. Until those men showed up and followed me.”

“No, they were following me.”

“No, I’m pretty sure-”

“Там они! (There they are!)”

Both Y/N and Steve looked behind them and saw a huge group of Russians, and started running again. “Well I guess they’re following both of us!” Steve yelled.

“You think?!” Y/N grumbled and grabbed the gun she kept behind her.

“You’ve had a gun all this time and didn’t use it?!”

She scoffed and shot a few of the Russians. “Be glad I didn’t use it on you!”

“I don’t think there are enough bullets!” Steve said as he ducked behind the car.

“Oh at least I’m doing something!” Y/N said and ducked next to him. “I’m out.”

Steve rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. “Okay, in a few minutes now- Hey, what are you doing- Hey!”

Y/N jumped over the car to the nearest man and took his gun. Steve grumbled and followed. They took out the men one by one until they’re all down on the ground and Steve took out the guy strangling Y/N.

“You’re welcome.”

“I was handling that.” She coughed.

A few moments later, a big jet flew over them and landed nearby. Y/N was about to put her gun up when someone placed a spear next to her neck. “Raise that gun and you will never see another day.”

Gulping, Y/N put the gun down and let the woman cuff her.

“Okoye, she’s with me.”

“Sorry, Captain. As far as I’m concerned, she’s just as Russian as they are.” Okoye motioned to the bodies on the ground.

Y/N gritted her teeth when she realized she couldn’t get out of the cuffs. She saw Andrew on the side of the road, hiding behind a trash can and her eyes widened. She shook her head to Andrew to tell him to run, and Andrew ran. To her.

“No, Andrew, no!”

Andrew was held back by the Dora Milaje and Steve prevented them from stabbing the boy, “You can’t take Y/N away! No! She’s my favorite aunt in the whole world, you can’t take her away!”

The poor boy was sobbing his eyes out and Y/N softened. “Andrew, go back home, now. I’ll be fine, I promise. Tell your mommy I’ll call her as soon as I can.”

Andrew shook his head. “Y/N promised you’d stay!”

Y/N approached Andrew with Steve’s permission to the Dora Milaje and Andrew kept crying.

“Andrew, look at me.” She said. “Andrew, what did I say about me leaving?”

Andrew stopped crying slowly and wiped his tears away. “...That you’ll always come back... because we’re family.”

“Exactly.” Y/N said, “now come here.” She motioned him to hug her.

Andrew hugged Y/N tightly and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I promise I’ll be okay. And I always keep my promises, right?”

The little boy nodded and let go of Y/N. “I promise I will take care of our family.”

“That’s a good boy.” Y/N smiled, “Okay, you go home now. It’s getting dark. Tell your mommy I’m fine.”

Andrew got on his bike and looked at Y/N one more time before going home.

Steve felt guilty on what’s happening and took Y/N to the jet. As much as he felt like Y/N didn’t deserve this treatment, there were still so many questions to ask. Just who the hell is she?

--

tell me if you want to be tagged :D

#reader #steve rogers #female reader #ofc #black widow #natasha romanoff #romance #fluff #angst #avengers #marvel #mcu #endgame #avengers endgame #avengers aou #avengers au #steve rogers au #steve rogers angst #ironman #iron man #tony stark #rdj #chris evans #reader insert #rhodey #bucky #winter soldier #thor #spiderman #hulk

[jungshookz]

I don’t really know if you take requests or not, but I think I have a cute idea I’d like to share! Maybe like, new puppy owner Y/N and pet shop employee Taehyung!

→ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

→ genre: petshopemployee!au, the cuTEST GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY evER and it belongs to you now!!, an extra biG serving of fluff, u and tae r so shy it’s adorable

→ wordcount: 3.2k

(gif isn’t mine!)

what the hell are you doing here

out of all the places you could be on a sunday morning (aka in your nice warm bed) you are at… a pet store???

okay

here’s the backstory

you’ve been feeling pretty lonely lately (your ex broke up with you a month ago and it’s been diffiCuLT to say the least)

he said something about how you were holding him back and the spark is gone because you’re so busy with school and your job and blah blah blah all you remember is throwing your drink on him and storming out of the restaurant

it’s fine

he was a dick anyway!! you deserve better

but you’re not used to being.,,. alone

the apartment is just so quiet

you’re trying to get used to sleeping in the middle of your queen-sized bed again but somehow you always shift over to the right side of the bed because that’s your side

it’s been your side for the past four years

things are just different now

and sure you have your friends and stuff to hang out with (namjoon asked if you wanted to go out yesterday night with him and the rest of the boys but you turned him down because you were too busy throwing your own pity party) but it’s just not the same u kno

so that’s why you’re here now

at a pet shop

because you feel like getting a pet will help with the whole being lonely thing!! and also you’ve always wanted a pet so this will be great (when you were younger you had a goldfish one day you came home from school and kevin was on the floor because he juMPED OUT OF HIS TANK RIP kevin)  

you kind of have an idea of what kind of pet you want

you definitely want something small

something low-maintenance since you’ll be busy at school

maybe like a hermit crab or something

a hamster? the constant running on the wheel would probably drive you insane

maybe a bird? but what if it flies out the window

a goldfish would bring back the painful memories of kevin so that’s going to be a HARd pass

and then

you see it

the gates of heaven

a pUPPY PIT

A WHOLE PIT OF PUPPIES

GO L DEN RETRIEVER PUPP IE S

you gasp and immediately turn away from the lovebird you were just looking at and the lovebird squawks like fuCK me i guESS

“oh my god” you whine quietly when all the puppies start running up to you as you stand in front of the pit

they’re all yipping and barking and getting up on their hind legs to try to get closer to you

sO CUTE

“hi! are you thinking about taking one of these guys home with you today?”

you turn around to-

oh

oh my

your eyes flicker down to the employee’s name tag

‘taehyung’

you look back up at him

he might be cuter than the puppies

he smiles at you and tilts his head

oH he is DEFInitely cuter than the puppies

“oh! uh…”

girl

you can barely take care of yourself how the hell r u going to take care of a puppy

just tell taehyung no and ask him about pets that are easy to take care of

oH BUT LOOK AT THEIR WIDDLE PAWS AND THE CUTE LITTLE SNOOT ARE U KIDDING ME

and if you don’t take one of them home whO WILL

oh my god y/n

think this through

you don’t have space for a puppy

but you can MAKE space

puppies are expensive

but you can MAKE monEY

puppies need a lot of love and attention and affection and-

buT YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOVE AND ATTENTION AND AFFECTION TO GIVE

y/n no

y/n yes

y/n no

y/n yES

y/N N-

“yes! yes i am” you clear your throat before reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

oh man

it’s like you don’t even know how to interact with boys anymore

it’s okaY just go with the flow it’s not a big deal

everything’s chill

super cool

don’t be weird

please don’t be weird

“oh, that’s great!!!” he gasps and claps his hand together “are you a first time puppy owner?”

you nod excitedly and look down at the puppies yipping for your attention

“well, we should probably hook you up with the basics before you get the puppy part, hm? follow me!”

wha

wait what

waIT BUT THE PUPPIES

taehyung notices your hesitation and he raises a brow “this’ll only take like ten minutes, miss. fifteen minutes tops. c’mon!” he gestures for you to follow him before pulling out a cart by the counter

“so, what made you decide to get a puppy, if you don’t mind me asking?” taehyung starts picking up things here and there for you as the two of you wheel your way down the aisles

“well, i’ve always wanted a dog and now that i’m-“ oOF okay you’re not going to tell this cute stranger about your failed relationship

let’s not go there

maybe some other time!! “uh… now that i…. have a bigger apartment i decided i could fill up some space with a puppy!” you shrug and pluck a little mustard yellow harness from the shelf

you heard that harnesses are better because leashes can choke ur doggo and you don’t want to choke your doggo

plus a tiny harness on a tiny puppy cOMe on

“oH..,.,. my god,.,.” your heart basically stops in your chest when you spot the cutest pair of yellow rainboots with a matching raincoat

…yeah you’re getting those too

you don’t even care if you spenD like $1000 here (okay you’d care just a liTtle bit because u don’t even spend that much on urself)

meanwhile taehyung’s talking to you about how often you should take the dog out and how much to feed it and how much exercise it needs and how you need to put down puppy pee pads and you need to puppy-proof your house there’s just a loT of p’s flying around right now

yes you appreciate him for doing his job throughly but you can barely focus on what he’s saying because you’re picking out a bed and a little blankie and pillow and toyS and a food bowl and a water bowl and-

“whichever pup you end up choosing is going to be very lucky” taehyung chuckles as you duMP a whole load of treats into the cart and you look down at everything you’ve picked out before flashing him a sheepish smile

“think i’m getting a bit ahead of myself?”

“you probably don’t need-“ he pauses and looks down at the cart “-three full sized bags of carob-chip dog cookies? or four different pairs of rain boots??”

“oH but look how cuTE-“

usually taehyung would be aLL for the customer going crazy because that means he gets more commission but u seem really nice and just really excited and he doesn’t want u wasting your money on things you don’t need

the puppy itself is going to cost a good chunk of money so there’s that

“i think we’re all good to go!” tae sighs as he puts the last of your family-sized food bags back onto the shelf

he turns and grins at you “how about i bring all this stuff over to the front counter and i meet you by the puppy pit?”

fINALLY

FINALLY THE PUPPY PIT

you nod excitedly and ziP off towards the puppy pit and almost immediately the barking intensifies at your presence

you drop to your knees in front of the gate and stick your hand through the gaps between the bars and giggle when the pups start licking at your fingers (probably because u were touching dog cookies earlier because they looked like humaN cookies and you were about to treat urself to one but tae stopped you before you inhaled it)

“okay, which one of you wants to come home with me!!!!!” you squeal excitedly when tae finally comes around and unlocks the gate for you and you drop to your butt

you coo when a majority of the puppies start clambering over each other to get to you

you really are in heaven

this was a greAT way to spend your sunday morning

good job sad and lonely y/n!!!!!! (oof)

“oOH i can’t decide i wanna take them all home” you sigh and lean back against your palms and tae can’t help but laugh before taking a seat across from you

“yeah, it’s definitely going to be a difficult decision. i remember when i was choosing my dog it took me like three whole hours to finally say ‘okay, i’m choosing thiS one’”

“oh, you have a dog?”

“mhm! a pomeranian. his name is yeontan, but i call him tannie. he was supEr duper tiny when…” you don’t mean to be rude and space out while taehyung’s telling you about his dog but like,..,,. he’s just.,.,. so beautiful.,,

his soft, dark brown hair

his jawline and his cheekbones and his strong eyebrows and his sparkling eyes and his boxy grin and woW god really spent time on him because he is so,.,.., so handsome.,.,.,

maybe you’re just getting ahead of yourself

just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should go and juMP on the first guy that’s nice to you

maybe tae’s not actually thAt handsome and it’s just your sadness and desperation making you thiNK he’s handsome (no this is a complete lie even if you weren’t sad and desperate and lonely you would know that tae is very vERY attractive)

and what makes you think tae might be interested in you??? he’s literally only being nice because that’s his joB

you deflate a little bit at your own pessimistic thoughts and bring your attention back to the pups

taehyung is fully aware of the fact that he’s blabbering

but he can’t help it

he blabbers when he’s nervous!!!!! and right now he is vERy nervous because there is a very pretty girl sitting across from him and he hasn’t made a move on someone in so long so he’s reaLLy really out of the groove of things

is he talking too much about yeontan???? is he not talking enouGH about yeontan?? should he have let you keep those 4 pairs of rain boots and 3 bags of treats??? he doesn’t know!!!!! aHHHHH!!!!!!!!

also he doesn’t want there to be any awkward silence if he stopped talking so that’s why he’s keeping his mouth running and running and running and ruNNing-

“hey, buddy~ do you wanna come home with me?” you coo and lift up the puppy that’s calmly stuck by your side the entire time

he pokes his lil tongue out and you grin “what do you say?”

he yips and leans in to lick your nose

you feel an insTANT connection

you turn the puppy around so that he’s facing tae

and tae can’t help but laugh at the sight of you just holding the puppy like that

his legs are just dangling in midair but his tail is still wagging a mile a minute

“i think this might be my guy” you coo and let him back down onto his feet and he hops up onto your lap

you scratch behind his ear and he barks

“have you thought about potential names yet?”

you purse your lips and look down at the nameless puppy

“not yet… maybe you can help me come up with one?”

you didn’t know how hard it was to choose a name for something

it took you like three seconds to name kevin

but you and tae have been sitting here for almost forty minutes trying to come up with something

but also it’s not just up to you you think its important that the doG reacts to the name too

tae has multiple tabs open on his phone and he’s just reading names out to you

“baxter?”

you look down at the pup and it blinks back up at you

“jax?”

no reaction

“ace?”

nope

“scooter?”

nuh-uh

“sparky?”

still nothing

“rusty”

the pup growls at that one because rusty??? how inSULTING

“teddy”

nope

“cooper”

stiLL nothing

“duke”

nah

“how about milo?” you interrupt tae and keep your eyes trained on the pup

you want to thank the lords above when it barks and twirls around in a circle before sitting on his butt

“milo!” he barks again and sticks his tongue out “milo~” you coo and lift him up so that you can smoosh a kiss on his cheek

and if that’s not the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his entire life taehyung doesn’t know whAT IS

“thank you for everything, by the way. you’ve been really helpful.” you tuck your credit card back into your wallet (it’s a good thing you didn’t end up getting those extra rain boots because ouCh the total was not a pretty number)

and then u realise

you haven’t even introduced yourself to tae

“oh! i’m y/n, by the way. probably should’ve started with that.” you chuckle sheepishly

taehyung smiles to himself as he sneaks an extra dog cookie into your bag

is he going to make his move

,.,., yes he is

“i’m taehyung,” he grins and you feel your heart flutter

hoO

your heart hasn’t fluttered like that in a long time

“-but you can call me later.” you can’t help but snort and taehyung grins as he rings up the last of your things

you can’t help but feel a sense of relief knowing that tae has taken an interest in you as well

“you’re lucky you’re cute” you mutter and tae looks up at you and raises a brow

“did you just call me cute?”

“i was talking to milo” you joke and tae raises his hands in defense

a moment of silence goes by

“hey, maybe milo and yeontan can meet each other one day or something…?” he clears his throat and punches a couple buttons on the computer

he’s not actually doing anything he’s just pretending like he’s doing something so that he can keep talking to u

“what do you think, milo?” you look down at milo and he blinks up at you “you wanna meet yeontan?” his mouth opens and he starts panting “what day is good for you, hm?”

milo barks before his hind leg is scratching behind his ear

ah

classy

“is this sunday good for you? milo and i can meet you here, or… we could meet at the dog park, or…”

“or maybe i can take you out for breakfast first? there’s a really nice café downtown that allows dogs in there too… and, um, and then we could go to the dog park? we don’t have to, if you don’t want to, we can just go straight to the dog park if-“

“i would love to go for breakfast.” you smile shyly and your stomach does a flip-flop

taehyung sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth before nodding and reaching for the printer as your receipt starts printing out

you’re a bit preoccupied fawning over your new puppy so tae quickly scribbles his number down on the back of your receipt

he steps out from behind the counter so that he can help you carry your things to the car

“so, this is for you,” tae hands you the receipt and you take it from him “like i said before, you should probably puppy-proof your place if you haven’t done so yet. milo’s at the age where everything is something to chew on, so if you have a pair of expensive shoes or something you might wanna put them away-“ milo barks and starts walking slowly around you and tae

tae looks down at him and takes a step closer to you because he doesn’t want to accidentally steP on your puppy “um, yeah, so, electrical cords, laundry, especially dirty socks-“

milo starts walking again and his little paws pit-pat against the floor

“uh-huh,” you furrow your brows and look down at milo and he stops walking and promptly sits and looks up at you “sorry, what were you saying?”

“training treats are good, but don’t give him too many treats because…”  

and now that you’re distracted again

milo makes his move

he’s a lil man with a lil plan

milo barks and starts running circles around you and tae

“milo-!”

you feel his leash starting to tighten around your ankles and the next thing you know you’re pressed riGHT up against tae

you stumble a little and let out a squeak of surprise

your hands shoot up to rest against tae’s chest to keep yourself balanced and tae instinctively reaches out to grab onto your hips

the two of you lock gazes and a beat of silence goes by before you’re both breaking out into nervous giggles

almost immediately your entire face flushes bright red

you certainly weren’t expecting this

“here, hand me his leash-“ taehyung takes it from you and bends down a little and starts unwinding the leash from around your guys’ legs

you want to diE (in a good way??) because tae still has one hand on your waist to keep you steady

then he’s scoOping milo up into his arms and turning him around so that he can look him in the eye “i can tell you’re going to be a bit of a troublemaker…”

milo barks and licks tae’s nose and tae grins before plopping him back onto the ground and handing you back the leash

“so…” tae shuts your trunk after helping you put everything in “i’ll see you sunday?” 

you nod and offer him a smile before deciding to just dO iT 

you are young and life is short and taehyung is cuTE 

tae’s eyes widen when you plant a kiss on his cheek and a big fat grin immediately appears on his face 

“i’ll see you su-“ you’re cut off when milo suddenly pops his head out from the passenger seat and barks 

tae scoffs playfully “yeah, i’ll see you sunday too, milo” 

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

#requested drabbles #bts #taehyung fluff #taehyung fluff recs #bts fluff #bts fics #bts fic recs #taehyung fic recs #taehyung fics #v #bts v #taehyung cute #taehyung smut #bts smut #smut #taehyung drabbles #bts drabbles

[noodles-send-n00ds]

fallen - jonah marais ft. zach herron

pairings: gender neutral!reader x jonah, gender neutral!reader x bestie!zach

warning: there’s a curse word at the bottom

requested by anon: can you do an imagine where zach and his best friend, who is abused, reunite and she ends up falling for jonah

summary: y/n goes to visit zach, their best friend, for a whole summer. y/n didn’t expect to fall for someone so quickly.

a/n: so i didn’t really want to include the abused part and i honestly don’t really have an explanation. but i hope you still enjoy it nonetheless.

not my gif

***

before zach became big and famous, you and zach were attached at the hip. growing up next to each other made it easy for you two to see other and practically spend almost every minute of the day together. 

but since he moved away things changed.

you two still kept in contact, of course, but it was different without zach. you entered your junior year alone and with only a couple of friends. they were good friends of yours but nothing was the same without zach. 

you two would talk all of lunch and laugh at some stupid things one person said that day or groan over your next big test. you would even manage to text each other from different classes, one of you almost always getting their phone taken away. zach would pass you funny pick up lines and you would always roll your eyes but make some up and send them back.

when he invited you to spend the summer in l.a with him and the boy’s, you were thrilled. you would get to see him for the first time in a little less than a year. you immediately started packing for the couple months you would spend there.

“whoa, why are you packing?” your younger sister asked you.

“i’m going to l.a to be with zach!” you practically screamed into her ear.

“jesus, shut up,” she walked away into her room, going on her phone.

you ignored her and continued to pack practically everything you owned, excitement pumping through your veins. you knew that your mom would be down for it since she loved the herron’s and knew zach would take great care of you l.a.

***

you landed in lax, speed walking to the front entrance to find zach. you just wanted to hug him and feel his warmth since it had been so long since the last time. you saw him standing there in jeans and a loose white t-shirt.

his face lit up when he saw you and you started running towards him. once you made contact, you embraced each other in a big hug. he lifted you off of the ground and spun you around before safely placing you down.

“i missed you so much, y/n,” zach told you as he pulled apart from the hug.

“i missed you too, zachary,” you smiled at him. he grabbed your hand and pulled you out the place where his car was.

“i can’t wait for you to meet the boys! they are going to be ecstatic! i talk about you all the time!” he told you, putting your luggage in the car and you laughed at him.

“i can’t wait either! they’re hot,” you admitted and he glared at you.

“no, nope, nada. you can’t date one,” he said, getting in the car.

“who said i was going to be dating one? it might just be a one night only thing,” you laughed and zach punched you in the arm.

“i hate you.”

“you wish.”

“anyways, what’s going on with becky? did she admit her lip injections yet? what about david? still an airheaded douchebag?” he questioned, asking you about people that attended your school back in texas. 

***(another time skip lmao)

you made it to the house that your best friend and his best friends lived in. zach helped you carry in your luggage and you took your time to admire the place he resided in. it was big and beautiful. this was practically the dream home for anyone.

once you got inside, you were immediately welcomed by a group of four boys.

“y/n! we’ve heard so much about you!” one of them said. you assumed it was daniel, based on the pictures zach had shown you of all of them.

“this is jack, corbyn, daniel, and jonah,” zach pointed to all of them.

you weren’t going to lie to yourself; they were all way more attractive in person. they were stunning in the pictures but now that you got a good look at them, you were shocked. one tall boy caught your eye though.

“hi,” was all you could mutter out, instantly embarrassing yourself.

they all laughed and welcomed you into their home and moved out of the way so you could take your stuff up to your room. once you got there, you sat down on the bed and zach sat next to you.

“so what do you think?” he asked you, referring to the four boys downstairs.

“they are amazing,” you looked at him, proud he got so far in his career. “what’s the tall one’s name again?”

“jonah? no, don’t tell m-”

“he’s realllllllly attractive,” you smiled at him.

“y/n y/l/n. i won’t allow it. nope, not on my wa-”

“do you think you could set it up? oh my god, total best friend points to you if you could. wow, do you think it’s a stretch? he’s probably way out of my league,” you cut him off again, all the gears turning in your head.

“you don’t listen to me, do you?”

“nope, not at all.”

the two of you laughed and made your way downstairs to find daniel eating watermelon, the curly haired kid on his phone, corbyn (who you heard loads about because he always teased zach) laughing at someone on the phone, and jonah talking to daniel.

“let’s do something,” zach told them as you two entered the kitchen. jonah smiled at you when you enter the room. you smiled back, blushing a bit.

“like what?” jack asked, waving at you.

“we could go shopping?” daniel suggested. corbyn perked up and quickly wrapped up his conversation on the phone.

“did i hear shopping?” corbyn sang, entering the room.

“i’m brok-”

“shut up, i’ll pay,” zach retorted. you slapped, lightly, signifying that he shouldn’t pay for you.

“so we’re going shopping?” corbyn clarified.

“yes, corbs, we’re going shopping,” jonah told him, rolling his eyes playfully.

“yes!” he yelled running to put his shoes on.

you all laughed at him and quickly moved out the door to make sure corbyn wouldn’t get too impatient. you sat in the backseat next to jonah and zach while daniel drove with jack in the front seat. corbyn was in the very backseat by himself

arriving at the grove was amazing, you saw the people crowding around the fountain. there were pretty lights and gorgeous plants. it wasn’t like the typical indoor shopping centers in texas; it was breathtaking.

“you like it?” jonah asked you, coming up behind you and scaring you a bit.

“oh geez,” you laughed. “yeah, it’s awesome. how is this my first time being here?” 

“you should come more often,” he winked at you and a blush made it’s way up to your cheeks.

jonah grabbed your hand and lead you to the different stores he’d thought you’d like, leaving the other boys behind. you two spent the majority of the day together and you enjoyed every second you got to spend with him. he made you so happy.

that’s pretty much how the first months went. you got closer to all the boys and they quickly became your bestest friends but with jonah, it was different. you knew it was more than just a friendship but you were scared to admit it to yourself. you knew you’d have to go home in less than a month and the thought of it made you heartbroken. you’d have to leave them, especially jonah.

so you made it your mission to spend the remaining time you had left with jonah (and the other boys of course), to make it the most memorable summer you’ve ever had.

on one lazy sunday, jonah decided to take you out somewhere. you both entered his car and he drove the two of you somewhere you had yet to know where. the entire drive there, he held your hand and you guys talked about what you’d do when you’d get home. it made sad to think about but you put a smile on your face for him.

you made it to a small hill in beverly hills and you guys climbed your way to the top. jonah had brought a blanket for you to sit on and wait until the sunset came. 

“y/n, i have to tell you something,” jonah started, while the sun was slowly beginning to set in front of you. “i know this is horrible timing because you’re leaving in a week but i had to get this off my chest.”

“go on,” you gave him a smile and grabbed his hand, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles to reassure him.

“when i first met you, i wasn’t expecting to see such a gorgeous person walk through my front door. i couldn’t stop looking at you and thinking you were the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen. but when we spent all day at the grove and i got to know you, it wasn’t about your looks. your bubbly, bright personality saw the best in everyone and everything. your heart is so big and you care for everyone. heck, you washed corbyn’s white shoes when he got a tiny dirt splotch on them. it took you two hours but you were so determined to help him even though he could easily buy a new pair. you make me a better person and oevr the past couple months, i’ve fallen head over heels for you.”

the sun had set and the beautiful reds, oranges, and pinks spread throughout the sky, creating a perfect backdrop for the two of you. 

“shit, i can’t top that but i’ve fallen face first for you, jonah marais.”

“is this the part where we kiss?”

“yes, jonah, yes it is.”

the kiss you two shared was filled with passion and desire for one another. you had completely fallen for each other.

***

#imagines #wdw imagines #why dont we imagine #why dont we imagines #why don't we imagines #why don't we imagine #why dont we #why don't we #Why Don’t We #whydontwe #wdw #wdw imagine #zachherron #zach herron #zachherronimagine #zach herron imagine #zach herron imagines #jonahmarais #jonah marais #jonah marais imagines #jonah marais imagine #jonahmaraisimagine #boy band #boy band imagines #celebrities #celebrities imagines #best friend

[namelessblacksheep]

FUCK MY LIFE: WHY I HATE MONDAYS

It’s normally mid to late afternoon on a Sunday when all of a sudden that little timer goes off in your head. ‘Fuck me it’s Monday tomorrow’. Unless you absolutely love your job, or just can’t wait to dump the kids off on someone else after a troublesome weekend, chances are you are just like the rest of us mere mortals and don’t especially love Mondays.

Mondays suck. Tick the box, close the book.

That is why there are so many GIFs and Memes about Mondays because we all hate the beginning of a new week. Five more days of spending time somewhere we don’t especially like, with a bunch of people we may or may not especially like. The only thing we often have in common with them is that we work in the same office and they too fucking hate Monday.

Monday’s are often made worse because most of the ‘Clints’ and ‘Cynthias’ you work with. You know the type: do a chillax Friday also known as ‘working from home’ whilst actually either not doing anything or doing plenty, but nothing relating to work. These corporate clowns are the type who get to Monday and realise that they need their work request to be delivered ‘by the close of play’, even though they have known about it for weeks. And guess what, you are the lucky minion who gets to have your already shitty start to the week dumped on from a great height by one of these Clints.

The thing about Monday is that it is the realisation that your reality is not as good as you hoped it would be. The weekend was either spent getting absolutely shit-faced with your friends, a dirty weekend away with the object of your affection, a camping trip with the family or the quintessential Netflix marathon in your pants covered in a takeaway.

It is and always has been far better than being cooped up in work or doing something because you have a monster mortgage to pay for.

The weekend is the equivalent of day release for the masses who are imprisoned each week for at least four to five days a week in asylums filled with moronic minions acting out all manner of craziness. If you’re lucky, Friday is the transition into your weekend, you may be allowed to wear your own clothes and even kick back a bit, clock off early after a long lunch because all the ‘management’ is pretending to be busy at home. Even though their status is more often than not: ‘offline’ or unreachable.

Think for a second of the Clints in your office. He’s the kind of guy who turns up on a Monday full of stories to rub in your face, just how much better his weekend, no, his life, is than yours. Clint lives for Monday, he has no one else who will talk to him after 5 pm on a Friday, except maybe his mother because she feels obligated to or another bunch of other Clints from some other office.

Or perhaps Cynthia brings you back down to Earth with her tales of woe that just need an X Factor backing track and Samaritans on speed dial for when she’s done. Welcome to Monday, and that is after your shitty commute into the office.

The only good thing that ever happens on a Monday, is a bank holiday and they are best days ever. For the rest of the year, Monday is miserable. It’s confirmation that if there is a God, he fucking hates you because that’s the first day of the rest of your week.

The Monday Phenomenon

It isn’t just the work thang that gets up our nose when it comes to Mondays. Given it is a brand new week, we often set ourselves up for that belief that maybe a new week means a new you. Monday is suddenly a beacon of hope, a change in the grand scheme of things, a time for a change and new dawn.

This euphoric and inspired feeling often doesn’t last long, you are after all diving into a pool of zombie-like miscreants who just want the day to be over. Fuck it, they don’t really want it to start at all. Before long all of your mojo is drowned within a sea of dying souls all just keen to get a coffee fix and find a hiding place until lunch.

How many best intentions start off with a Monday launch?

Most I’d guess, it’s a fresh start; a new week. Time to hit the gym and start eating like a rabbit, having just consumed every last morsel of ‘naughty’ treats over the weekend that may have induced diabetes.

It’s okay though, Monday is here and the new you is going to kick ass like a Marvel superhero. Until of course, the Monday morning meeting sees all of your greatest hopes dashed as the reality of the week ahead drowns out the rays of sunshine with apocalyptic clouds of gloom.

Then Cynthia politely informs you that you are not going to get your expenses paid this month because you didn’t check something on her overly complicated form. It isn’t long before that new you has bent over and allowed Monday to royally roger it for another week. Then you’re off like an angry Gorilla, ploughing a trail through co-workers all the way to the vending machine.

Never use Monday as the day for a fresh start. You will never see a new dawn as long as you follow the first day of the week rule. Quit smoking on the weekend, after a heavy night of debauchery on the town, by lunchtime you’re like the Marlboro Man on crack, chain-smoking your way to lung cancer.

You see, we have been indoctrinated into hating Mondays, from an early age. From double Maths on a Monday at school, all the way through to your shitty 9-5 existence waiting for death somewhere doing something not entirely captured by your job title or paycheck.

Growing up, I loved the cartoon character Garfield and he absolutely hated Mondays too, even though he was a cat and had zero concept of what Mondays meant in reality. Point is, even he knew the drudgery and affliction of Monday-itis.

There are countless songs about how crap Monday is, ironically written and performed by people who probably don’t even work on a Monday because they are too busy coming down from immense highs from the weekend or banging groupies like a bunny with a Duracell battery up their bum.

From the ‘Rainy Days and Mondays’ of The Carpenters, through to The Boomtown Rats ‘I don’t like Mondays’, and ‘Manic Mondays’ of The Bangles. They all caption our pain, whilst churning out huge royalties to these clever folks who wouldn’t know a true Monday if it slapped them in the face. Still, it’s good that they can give us some jingoistic anthems to get us through the fucking day. I am rather partial to some heavy metal or ‘Rage Against The Machine’ whilst simultaneously imagining myself armed with an AK47, creating COD4 carnage, on an epic scale. But, whatever floats your boat I guess.

Managing Monday-itis

That irritating cough or a lousy headache that emerged after 10 pints of Stella and a particularly raucous night of Karaoke classics has lingered throughout the weekend. Monday is coming for you like a Bailiff on commission and all of a sudden you realise, ‘haven’t taken a sick day in a while’. It’s easily done and routinely so.

Before long, Monday-itis will be rightly recognised for the debilitating illness it is. Much like ADHD and all manner of bullshit made-up conditions to justify people’s behaviour, Monday-itis is characterised by a sudden onset phobia to pressing work deadlines that were not met in the previous week. It leads the poor soul inflicted with this heinous curse developing all manner of ‘flu type symptoms’ that means they will be unable to attend work until the aforementioned work problem is resolved.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Chances are that after the self-certification is expired you will return again on a Monday, no doubt with two times the burden of a normal week. This double whammy Monday aka Thundercunt Monday will burn more than Satan’s balls when it comes around. There are other ways to manage the transition.

If your workplace operates a flexible working or agile culture, get your own back on management and make Monday, your work from home day. Technically, you are able to complete your duties and manage incoming calls and emails without anyone being able to micromanage or monitor you doing it. You’ll avoid all the usual office guff from the Clints and Cynthias about their meaningless and made up lives. You can do your work in your pants, or gimp suit for that matter, and no one would be any the wiser.

No commute, which is even better than a commute when the spawn of the planet are on their holidays. You can even reward yourself with a lie in. It’s a nice smooth transition into the work week without all the heaviness and bullshit that comes along.

If you have kids and need to drop the little buggers off at school, see if you can come to an arrangement with a friend or neighbour (preferably one with kids at the same school) to take it turns on alternate Mondays to drop them off.

Plan to do something on a Monday that feels like a reward or is something you actually enjoy. I work from home on a Monday and like to work out. My favourite day is Push Day, so, I save this for lunchtime on, and you guessed it: a Monday. Half the day has gone, and now I’m feeling pretty awesome. Before you know it, the end is near and you have escaped another wretched start to the week.

Then when the work day is done, because you don’t feel quite as pissed off as you normally do, you might even plan something fun for the evening. A few drinks, a takeaway, or back on to the Netflix marathon you began the previous weekend.

Over time, you will begin to find that Mondays are not so bad after all. Then, when you apply some of the same thinking to other days in the week and get a bit of a balance to life you’ll feel like a completely different person. Then when you are in work and only putting up with the nonsense a few days a week, you will not feel quite as drained. Cynthia will be miserable as sin, but she hasn’t got any friends anyway. This is actually you showing compassion to the silly sausage and creating space in her life to make some better decisions.

If working from home is not an option, create a Monday game in the office and get your co-workers to join in. Perhaps set up a sweepstake of Clint Bullshit Bingo, with the winner claiming the pot based on whatever nonsensical shit they correctly predict Clint spouting off about when he does his Monday monologue. You could also, inject some fun, by stealing items off of Cynthia’s desk and placing them all around the office creating a faux treasure hunt that means she’ll be occupied all day so as not to kill your Monday mojo.

If it is truly unbearable, set up an email or Whatsapp group and invite all your fellow Monday-itis sufferers to it and bombard each other with humorous messages and content to get the laughter flowing.

Book out your diary every Monday with a two hour private and busy meeting that on your monitor reads ‘Fuck all’. This should give you ample time to adjust to the new reality of the work week without allowing the more moronic minions the chance to rape your soul like a Harry Potter Dementor.

Try doing a gratitude journal for the first time, but do this as though you are coming from the perspective of how much worse your life could be if you were, say: a Clint or a Cynthia. Be careful not to type this out in plain view of said Dementors though, Mondays with an HR meeting on office bullying probably wouldn’t be a great start to the work week. Alternatively, you could write a long list of things you could be doing had you not been stupid enough to have children.

No More Manic Mondays

Too often the wonderful weekend has been cut short by the early onset of Monday-itis and the anxiety that its symptoms bring. The transition into another week in your miserable existence is ramped up tenfold on a Sunday evening and several times higher the following morning.

The stress of another work week Monday takes its toll on your soul. The pressure of a new beginning or the familiar anxiety of yet another week afflicts millions every single week. Then like the extras in The Walking Dead, we all descend to our paycheck prisons or weekly workhouses to be used and abused for another week. The only tool we previously had in our arsenal is the hope that either a bus would knock us down before we got there, or that we could sleepwalk through to Friday.

The truth is, Monday is just like any other day, the stigma attached to it is largely because we have to end something fun or something we chose to do (the weekend or week off) for something we have to do (to pay for the shit we do on said weekend or weeks off).

How we navigate this transition from awesome back to mundane is entirely down to our ingenuity and individual approach. Manic Mondays are often due to lazy arse Fridays, so as long as you play hard through the week and get sufficient stuff done then you can reward yourself with a stellar weekend of fun.

Monday is the first work day, so anyone who plans a Monday morning meeting at 9 am is probably worth avoiding in or out of work. These people tend to be the types who book the 4 pm slot on a Friday too. That’s classic Clint right there.

Making your transition into the work week should be your number one goal to stave off that Sunday evening bah-humbug feeling. To end the sleepless night before the Monday morning rush, find a more flexible approach: start later after a trip to the gym, start earlier and plan an evening event to look forward to, or work from home to avoid all those competitive conversations about who has the best/worst life of all.

Normally, once you have gotten past the mid-point of the day, you are back in work mode, so make sure you manage your diary and time in a way that is both rewarding and low pressure (where possible).

The week is a marathon, not a sprint, so getting everything done on a Monday morning just isn’t going to happen. This is especially true after a week or so off. Book out the morning for just acclimatising back to work, finding out who fucked up whilst you were away, flaunting your tan lines to colleagues and just ‘catching up’ with corporate bullshit life.

Saving favoured activities that motivate you and booking them into a Monday will also make it less likely that you succumb to the temptation to do a Monday-itis phone in.

Never start a new thing (diet, exercise routine, quitting a bad habit, etc) on a Monday as the pressure of the day makes it highly likely that you’ll get triggered and fall into the old pattern. You’ll end up hating yourself even more than you already did. And if you must, be sure to allow yourself a restart on a Tuesday or at some later point in the week. Mondays are hard enough.

Injecting fun shouldn’t be limited to a Monday, but may prove incredibly helpful in the navigation of this troublesome day. The stressors that trigger the Monday Blues, like those annoying co-workers you have imagined executing in multiple ways in your head, should be reframed within this humorous approach. Nullifying them from the monstrous problems they cause to realise the ant-like irritants that they really are.

When they start to get under your skin and you are close to a full-on transformation into the Incredible Hulk, just ask yourself what they didn’t get up to on the weekend. In all in all likelihood, work is the only place where anyone shows them a modicum of emotion, try to be gentle with them and feel free to fuck with them a bit, until they learn the error of their ways.

By the time you are done for the day, you’ll realise that Mondays can be okay. The things that worked for you can be applied throughout the week. Make life a bit more bearable and to give your hopes and dreams of becoming something better a real chance. Mondays do not have to suck. They just need to be managed.

The best bit about getting over your phobia of Monday is that your weekends tend to get longer. That period after tea on a Sunday creates an opening for something fun. If you’ve successfully made the work arena a little bit less like a prison, you might find that by Friday the ease down into the weekend is smooth and all things are in place for a nice restart come the following week.

If you’re a Clint or Cynthia and you’re reading this. Stop booking meetings on a Monday morning. While you are at it, try to make friends and then you’ll have some real experiences to share with, rather than vomit over, your colleagues the next Monday. Life is hard enough without Monday being a total motherfucker. So stop being you, and strive to be awesome.

Make Monday the new fun day.

‘Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you’ - Anon

#office #humour #worklife #worklunch #monday #motivation