#bye im throwing my phone as far away from me as possible

[feralnightwing]

#i think i've zoned out for 5 hours #i was supposed to be writing my research paper #what am i doing #did i take my meds today???? #i think i did?????? #see this is why i got upgraded to stimulants #bupropion #honey you're not working #i can't wait to pick up my new meds #oh my fucking god #IM DOING IT AGAIN #bye im throwing my phone as far away from me as possible #adhd #adhd problems #adhd paralysis #numi post

[emotionoitme]

under the moon

carmy berzatto x reader

final part of about a girl

masterlist

warnings: drinking & drug use (marijuana), carmy being mean, clubbing, jealousy, so much dirty talk, bdsm dom/sub undertones, oral sex (f receiving), spanking, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, choking, lots of cursing as usual

wc: 9.2k

a/n: i am so excited for you all to read this. & sorry for the slight delay, it took me a bit longer than expected to finish! thank you so so much for your continued support on this series! i genuinely never thought people would like it so much🥺 enjoy!

foster the people - under the moon

she had begrudgingly awoken the following morning, head feeling as if it were stuffed with cotton, eyes swollen and sore. the bright morning light streams through her open blinds, soaking the room in warm sun. she groans, throwing the duvet over her completely, praying her bed would open up into a sinkhole and swallow her completely. she snakes her arm out, reaching around the nightstand for her phone, pulling it back in. she had overslept about an hour, meaning she would have to heavily compromise on her morning routine and practically sprint to work if she wanted to make it on time. she considered it shortly, but ultimately pulled up her contacts app on her phone, opting to call in sick. she scrolls, the first option being carmy. she wanted so badly to hear his voice, yet her stomach drops at the thought of him, so she quickly scrolls past the contact to find sydney’s number instead. the girl hesitates for a moment, before dialing, a point of deliberation deep within her. she wanted to be as far as away from the man as she could possibly be, the thought of his mere face bringing her a feeling of anguish. on the other hand, she wanted to bear witness to his demeanor— reassure herself that he’s as affected as she is over last night’s encounter. 

he’s probably fine, she thinks to herself, lips twisted into a frown, he’s the one who didn’t want to keep it going. she tries to push the thought away, a hot pang of regret seeping through her body. she burrows deeper into the safety of her bed, tapping the icon next to syd’s contact, bringing the phone to her ear. the line rings, once, twice, three times, then a click. 

“hello?” she hears at the other end. 

“hey, syd,” she greets, groggily, “um, i'm sorry to do this to you guys, but i can’t come in today,” she explains, clarifying, “im sick, my stomach really hurts.” it was a white lie, told out of self preservation, knowing if she saw carmy’s face she surely would feel sick. she hears sydney take a breath. 

“uhh, yeah, that’s fine. we should be fine,” she assures, continuing to ask, “are you still gonna come out with us tomorrow night?” syd pushes a piece of silverware neatly into place, finishing the last table as she watches her business partner come out from the kitchen, walking towards her. 

“tomorrow night?” the girl questions, flipping her duvet off her head for oxygen. 

sydney chides her name, “tomorrow night, tina’s birthday? drinks, dancing, i’ve been telling you about it since last thursday?” glancing at her coworker, curious about who she’s talking to. sydney mouths the girl’s name to him, carmen then gesturing to ask for the phone. 

“yes, syd, thank you! i will be there. i’m sorry i’ve been so scattered this week,” she replies, sitting up out of bed. 

“you’re fine, we can unwind tomorrow,” sydney replies, mouthing “okay, okay,” to the persistently gesturing man, “here, let me put you on with carmy,” she replies, going to hand the phone to the man. 

“no!” the other line interrupts, more frantic than she meant to sound, met with silence. “i mean,” she tries to backtrack, “i don’t want him to worry about me. don’t put me on,” the girl stumbles out. 

“welll, he’s saying that he wants to talk to you… so, i don’t really have much of a choice, okay, bye!” the chipper girl quickly tells her. 

fuck, she mentally exclaims, i should’ve just gone in if i was gonna have to talk to him anyways. 

she hears her name through the line, tone questioning, as carmy takes the phone from syd. 

“hi,” she responds to his beckon, quietly. 

“you’re calling in?” he asks, holding a finger up to syd, walking towards the back office for some privacy. she tightly closes her eyes, finding her words. 

“i, uh, don’t feel good,” she responds, tone shakier than she had anticipated. the line goes silent for a minute, the girl mindlessly fiddling with a loose thread on her comforter. 

“are you avoiding me?” comes his question, catching her slightly off guard. 

“no, carmy” she quickly defends, “i don’t feel well.”

“what’s wrong?” he asks, taking a seat in his office chair. 

“my, um,” she hesitates, “my stomach hurts.” 

he’s not sure he believes her, leaning back in the chair and running a hand over his face.

“okay,” he concedes, letting out a sigh, “just, uh, take it easy today then.” he hears her hum in agreement, pausing before continuing. 

“are you going to that club tomorrow?” carmy asks her, “for tina’s birthday?” 

she dangles her legs over the edge of the bed, mindlessly kicking back and forth. 

“are you?” she asks, eager to skip out on anything besides shutting herself safely inside and maybe putting her fingers to good use to prove carmen nonessential, the memories of his touch flooding her mind incessantly. 

“i think i have to,” he responds, “i already told syd i would,” his eyes glancing back towards the open office door. she softly smiles, knowing she was in the same boat. 

“okay,” standing and walking to her closet, looking for a  club-suitable dress, “i’ll go too, then,” a small smirk in her tone. he can’t fight the smile that breaks his face, eyebrows raising slightly. 

“carmy, my phone?” he hears from the hallway, a reminder of his surroundings, his time talking with the girl running short. 

“yeah!” he yells back to the hallway, “hey, uh, feel better today, okay? i’ll see you tomorrow night,” carmy tells the girl, watching sydney walk into the office. 

“thanks, carm. bye,” she responds, the call ending shortly thereafter. she had felt slightly guilty abandoning her shift, all for the purpose of not having to be tortured with his presence, a reminder of what had transpired the previous night. their casual encounters had quickly morphed into something else within her brain, feeling a deep sense of affection towards the man, chastising herself because she had worried about this and continued anyways. 

she makes her way to the bathroom, splashing cold water over her face, the morning chill seeping through her bones. would it be so wrong for them to keep seeing each other? they were consenting adults—albeit boss and employee— both previously oblivious to the profound magnetism of their natural connection. she wanted to pursue things with him further, increasingly affected by his caring words and gestures, no longer being able to deny the twinge in her chest she gets when picturing his face. 

but she knew he didn’t want the same. 

why would he? she thought, it isn’t what he signed up for. he seemed focused on his work, like he would have limited time for a relationship.

she opted to get a few chores done around the house, taking advantage of the day off, sticking on the thought of him, though, finding herself looking through her closet for a dress with him in mind. 

—

the space is hot, crowded, alive with movement. tickets pour from the printer one by one. 

“it goes to four cousin, for the third time,” carmy scolds, “stop fucking with the tickets already,” hands busied with removing a large pot from the burner. 

“hold on, i’m fixing them,” richie argues back, clutching a mess of paper. 

carmy paces to the walk in refrigerator, grabbing a large container and making his way through the sea of bustling employees, checking on stations. he was running on fumes, only getting a solid three hours of sleep the previous night, plagued by a swarming head and uneasy stomach.

it’s best this way, he tells himself over again, easiest, hoping that if he repeats it enough times it will start to feel true. 

“alright send these out to six, please,” he hears from the front of the kitchen, glancing over at the expo, seeing the recently plated entrees. 

“fuck, richie, four!” carmen snaps, his hand flying out. 

“jesus, alright, four!” richie yells, widening his eyes, shaking his head, continuing. “calm down, carm, she’ll be back thursday,” a snicker on his face 

carmen freezes in his spot, skin beginning to burn. his eyes dart to richie, jaw twitching. 

“shut the fuck up,” he bites, venom in his tone, trying to push himself further into his work to outlet the growing frustration. he hears the other man chuckle knowingly, glancing at carmen. 

“okay, sore spot!” richie pokes, organizing the last few tickets, smile on his face. the chef doesn’t reply, beginning to quickly chop vegetables, unsure of what would slip off his tongue if he opened his mouth. 

it was unclear to him why he was unable to regulate himself when it came to someone even mentioning her, figuring it was temporary, and would slowly dissipate once they had some distance from each other. carmy deeply exhales, glancing at the clock, counting down the hours until he would be able to see her again. 

—

it was incredible how fast days would slip by when she didn’t have to go to the restaurant, taking care of domestic matters and recharging from the strenuous week so far, not thinking of carmen.

she goes to sleep that night wearing his clothes, arms wrapped around herself as if the sensation could ever come close to his touch, waking the next morning to eagerly check a phone empty of notifications. on her second day off she works on assignments for her classes, calls an old friend and grabs herself lunch from a bagel shop nearby. upon returning home she grabs a pair of earbuds and spends a few hours outside in the sunlight, mending the cracks in her heart, falling asleep on her balcony sofa and letting the sun kiss her better. the light of the afternoon seeps into the evening, painting the city in a soft yellow blanket, the girl slowly blinking awake. she watches a few cars drive by, a warm breeze shifting the trees, slowly sitting up and stretching, checking the time on her phone. she has a few hours to get ready before meeting everyone for drinks, her body relaxing at the confirmation. her eyes glance down past the time, seeing two new messages on her screen. 

carmy: 416 s clark street

carmy: do you need a ride?

she unlocks her phone, staring at the gray bubbles for what seems like an eternity, fingers hovering over the keys. she begins to type a response, “no. gonna walk,” then quickly deletes it, knowing he would insist on driving her.  

why is he trying to be so nice still?

she feels a twinge of irritation, quickly shutting off the phone, opting to not reply to his message. he was a hard man to understand, his actions contradicting his words more often than not—declaring the two finished, then continuing to pursue contact, referring to them as a “no strings” relationship and then calling her baby and sweetheart. it was confusing more than anything, beginning to take an emotional toll on the young woman. she felt incredibly tense the past few days, mind prickling with anxieties and insecurities, desperate to feel some type of release. 

fuck him, she thinks, standing and opening her sliding glass door, going inside, i’m gonna forget about it tonight. she stalks to her closet, i’m gonna find a hot stranger and just dance, pulling out a short, skin tight club dress and holding it in front of herself, facing the mirror. she wanted him out of mind completely, settling with trying to replace his touch with someone else’s tonight no matter how much her heart objected. she puts music on, setting the dress on her bed and undresses, studying herself in the mirror for a moment before making her way to the bathroom and turning on the shower. she takes a long while to let the hot water to melt onto her skin, cherishing the white silence of the shower head. the young woman takes her time getting ready, piecing herself back together with an extensive routine. once she’s in a robe with her hair wrapped up she walks to the fridge, grabbing a seltzer with alcohol to ease the slight oncoming nerves. she meticulously does her makeup and styles her hair, shamefully wondering if carmy would like how she’s dressed up, checking her phone to see it’s time to head over. dropping her robe and zipping into the dress she had picked out for the night, the girl examines her reflection, admiring the work she had put in. she looked hot, turning to the side and checking out her profile, curves accentuated by the tight fabric. satisfied, she mists herself with perfume and grabs her heels and purse, walking to the door. she swings the heavy metal barrier open to reveal a tepid july night, air thick with moisture. she balances against the frame, slipping into her heels and sliding her purse strap over her shoulder, stepping into the dusk of the evening and letting the door lock behind her. she glances at her phone for walking directions, head slightly fuzzy from the seltzer she had drank on an empty stomach. her short walk to the club garners many gawking stares from passerby’s, surprisingly not making her feel as small as they usually seem to, the goal was to catch eyes tonight, right? 

she squints, identifying bright flickering lights in the distance, the border of the club’s sign. there were a few people dispersed outside, all either smoking or talking on the phone, or both. she brushes her hair back, walking towards the entrance when she hears her name called from behind her. 

“- yo!” turning to see marcus and angel leaning against the brick wall of the establishment. she smiles, turning and walking towards them, the distinct odor of marijuana arising from the cigarette marcus clutched in between his thumb and pointer. 

“hi,” she grins, tilling her head slightly. 

“hey,” the two respond, almost in synchronicity. marcus holds the rolled paper to her, “want some?” 

she smiles, plucking it from his fingertips and bringing it to her lips, deeply inhaling to soften the inevitable drop her stomach would endure at the sight of carmen. the ember burns quickly, and she’s surprised at the harshness. 

she hands it back with a slow exhale, thanking marcus. 

“nervous?” angel chimes in, trying to hide a smile. the girl pauses for a moment, is it so obvious? 

“i haven’t been to a club in a while,” she responds, crossing her arms. it was partially true, but she knew the real reason for the relentless fluttering in her chest. 

the man stubs the filter onto a nearby trash can, dusting his hands off on his pants. “you guys ready to go in?”

the other man affirms, pushing himself off the wall and turning to walk to the front. the girl stays behind, hesitating. 

“you two go ahead. i’m gonna air out,” she responds, leaning back, basking in the slight breeze. the men both crack a smile before walking together to the entrance, leaving the girl in her solitude. she closes her eyes for a moment, deeply inhaling the night air, listening to the reverberation of bass through the walls of the club. she feels a cloud of haze overwhelm her, the mixture of substances seeping through her in a warm glow. she hears footsteps approach. 

“hey.”

her eyes snap open, breath escaping her at the sight of carmy. he looked polished, buttoned up into a dress shirt, hair fluffy and face cleanly shaved. she nearly salivated at his presentation, the buzz she felt complicating her decision to ignore him. 

“hi,” she shortly responds, lip slightly pouted, watching as his eyes examine her, floating down her form. he snaps his eyes away, clearing his throat. 

“you, uh, get my text?” 

she nods, looking up to him, meeting his eyes with unwavering contact. he walks closer to the girl, slightly shaking his head and furrowing his brow in confusion, an unspoken gesture to elaborate. 

she looks away, arms wrapping around herself. 

“i didn’t need a ride,” she answers, “i walked.” 

carmen’s jaw visibly tightens, feeling a twinge of irritation. 

“yeah. uh, i asked because i didn’t want you walking here alone,” he explains in a slightly frustrated tone. 

“yeah, well i made it,” she retorts, aggravation bubbling beneath the surface, “so you don’t need to worry about it.” 

she didn’t know why he was getting under her skin so easily tonight, her throat suddenly feeling hot and tight, raking her eyes over the top of his chest exposed by an open button.

“well i do,” the man argues, “i don’t want you walking by yourself. anywhere,” he solidifies in a stern tone. the girl lets out a scoff. 

“you’re acting like you’re my boyfriend,” she spits, fed up with the sense of entitlement he felt over her. 

“i’m not your fuckin’ boyfriend,” he quickly asserts, tone ringing out much harsher than he intended. 

she knows this to be a fact, but still can’t help the drop she feels in her chest when he says it aloud like that. she opens her mouth to say something, then quickly closes it, biting her lip, eyes darting to the ground. he instantly regrets saying it, brushing his fingers through his hair, grabbing it, studying the girl’s dejection with a pit in his stomach. 

“whatever, carmen,” she dismisses, shoving past him. her lungs felt tight, eyes burned, mentally cursing herself, rushing to the club entrance to distance herself from the man. she shoves the door open, immediately being engulfed by sound and swarming bodies. she blinks back a few tears, deeply inhaling and exhaling, zoning into the environment. spotting the group of her coworkers at a corner table, she shufflles through the crowd to approach them. syd immediately spots the girl, calling out to her and waving. she plasters on a smile as the rest turn to watch her, all unanimously greeting the new arrival. she makes her way over to tina, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek, wishing her happy birthday. she squeezes into her seat in between sydney and richie, turning to the tall man to ask, “so where’s my drink?”

richie lets out a boisterous laugh, throwing an arm around the girl.

“i don’t think you’re gonna have much of a problem getting drinks tonight, sweetheart,” he teases, as carmy approaches the table, receiving welcomes and pulling out a chair to sit. she flickers her eyes over to carmen to find he’s staring at her, quickly tearing them back away and leaning over to syd. 

“come get a drink with me. i really need it,” she pleads, placing her hand on sydney’s forearm. the other girl agrees, the two sliding out from under the table and making their way to the bar, arms linked. 

—

why did i say that? 

he watches her rush to the front entrance, his body frozen, processing the conversation. 

why did i say that?

he begins to go after her, reaching his arm out before she swiftly maneuvers the door open, slipping inside. 

why the fuck did i say that?

it wasn’t completely untrue— he wasn’t her boyfriend— something he had failed to make entirely made clear before that point. he wasn’t oblivious to the way they had grown closer, either, the thought of her nestled deeply within a sweet spot in his heart. yet he had done nothing to prevent it from happening, and once thinking of it, he finds he’s only ever done the opposite, his behavior towards the girl falling far closer to a boyfriend than a hookup. he begins following in her footsteps, opening the club door and immediately becoming overwhelmed with the number of people crowding the floor. carmy cranes his neck, watching her figure weave through the crowd and towards a corner table. he pushes through the wall of people, seeing her take her seat, approaching the table to receive greetings from his coworkers. his eyes are trained on her, wrapped into richie’s arm, smiling until she locks eyes with him. then it drops, slightly. it makes him feel sick. he turns to fak at his right and engages in conversation as he watches her rise from the table alongside sydney. she looks like a model of some type, he thinks, with dark makeup defining her striking eyes and hair tousled over her shoulder, tight black dress riding up over the skin of her thighs. he trails down her face to her neck. when she moves her hair behind her ear he can see a small purple mark left from his teeth, eyes fully fixated on the spot. the bass of the music thumps, reverberating through the club, floorboards shaking. he tries to keep up in the table’s conversation whilst simultaneously keeping a close eye on the girl, shifting to see her order at the bar through the moving bodies. she throws a shot back, grimacing at the taste, laughing while saying something to syd (he was never very good at reading lips) and raising her hand to flag the bartender once more. the table bursts into laughter, carmen’s eyes drawing back to his coworkers, watching as tina shoves richie’s hand with a smile on her face, rolling her eyes. he feels an inclination to step outside for a smoke, head buzzing with stimulation from the lively environment, wondering how long he should stay before it would be acceptable to leave. 

“oh my gosh, thank you baby,” he hears tina say, glancing over to see the girl having returned from the bar, placing a fruity drink in front of the woman. 

she smiles, returning to her seat as the current song ends, fading into the next. sydney and the girl gasp in tandem at the distinctive opening, locking eyes with each other and grinning. 

“we’re gonna go dance!” the girl excitedly calls, taking syd by the hand and navigating towards the dance floor, crowded with moving bodies. it’s hot, but fluid, the two girls beginning to move together, grinning. carmen watches her, eyes cutting through the crowd. she moves her hips, bringing her hands up her body, flashing lights illuminating her in colors. the sight was hypnotic almost, eyes trained on her, tense in his seat. she throws her hair back, circling her body, closing her eyes. 

richie leans over to him, “you, uh, sure she did just bartending over at ricky’s?” elbowing him slightly. 

carmen doesn’t respond, eyes fixated on her gyrating movements, jaw tensing, painfully aware of all the eyes she’s gathered around the club. she continues dancing after the first two songs, even when sydney makes her way back to the table in need of rest. carmy tried to not make it so obvious he was watching the girl, grateful some of his other coworkers had joined the crowd on the dancefloor, completely entranced by her movement. he tears his gaze away, standing up find the bar, eager to ease the incredible tension he felt pent up within him. she seemed to be having fun dancing, and in a way it felt refreshing to watch the girl so loose and carefree. carmy couldn’t help the sense of possessiveness he felt, though, watching her move like that, seeing the way other men looked at her, like meat. it made him sick. 

he orders a beer once the bartender makes their way over, song fading into the next. he turns to lean against the counter, eyes searching for her as he brings the bottle to his lips with a long swig. he feels a pang in his chest, as he finds her, hand on another man’s arm, leaning to whisper something in his ear. he closely watches as the man smiles, nods, placing his hands on her hips and getting closer to her. carmen’s skin immediately becomes hot, teeth clenching, taking a deep breath through his nose to try and calm himself. 

what the fuck is she doing? 

his eyebrows furrow, watching as she dances, bringing her arms up, turning, moving against the stranger. he feels physically sick, stomach churning at the way this man was touching her navel, hips, pressing himself to the back of her. carmy tightly grips the bottle, unable to rip his eyes away, the girl glistening in the light. she throws her head back against the man’s shoulder, hair draping over him, grinding to the music. her eyes find carmen’s quickly, intentionally locking gazes as she brings the strangers hands higher, up her waist, ribs, her mouth falling opening. carmen stands, knocking the barstool off balance with the force of his movement, shoving through the crowd, disregarding the dirty looks, quickly making his way to the dance floor. he grabs the girl’s wrist, pulling her from the stranger’s grasp, tightly gripping her as he walks towards the back door, dragging her behind him, feeling the struggle of her arm as she tries to pull away. he turns, putting a hand on her lower back, ushering her through the club, shoving the heavy metal door open and bringing her outside, finally letting go when the two are far from the door. he brings a hand to his hair, grabbing, turning to face the girl. 

“what the fuck, carmen?” she yells, ripping her hand away from him, “what’s your issue?” her words slightly under-enunciated. 

he bites down on his lip, meeting her eyes, hand coming to his hip. he hardly had an explanation for the girl, driven by a redhot primal jealousy, blood boiling at the sight of someone else’s hands on her, grabbing, feeling her like that. 

“what’s my issue?” he scoffs, “why the fuck were you dancing like that?” his face reddening, pulse quickening. she lets out a laugh, leaning back against the wall, gazing up at him. 

“why?” she asks, “are you jealous?” 

he shakes his head, unconsciously stepping closer to her.

“i’m not jealous,” he argues, jaw set firmly, eyes casting down onto her. 

“yeah?” she leans forward, further closing the distance between them. he nods, fixated on the droop of her eyes, the part of her lips, the way she looked up at him through her dark lashes. 

“so what if i fuck him?” she asks softly, a smirk playing on her lips, “will you be jealous then?” 

he lets out a breath, fire growing at her words.

he shakes his head, “you’re not gonna fuck him,” asserting with confidence. she tilts her head, alcohol emboldening her. 

“how do you know?” she challenges, well aware of how affected she was by his tone, his demeanor, the look in his eyes. carmy gets closer to her face. 

“because he’s not gonna fuck you like i do,” his voice deep, low, eyes boring into hers with an intensity that lights her core ablaze. the girl finds her breath hitches, mouth going dry, gaze flickering to his lips. he rests his hand on the brick behind her, leaning closer, “hear all those pretty sounds you make.” 

she shuts her eyes tightly, trying to shake her senses of the overwhelming lust she felt. she was supposed to stay angry at him, he was being an asshole. maybe it was the alcohol or the drugs, or the way he towered over her, but she felt no anger, only replaced by want, a slick ache growing at the way he seems to claim her for himself. she takes a deep breath, body feeling as if it were buzzing, head cloudy. 

“you are so fucking confusing,” she whispers, bringing her forehead to lightly touch his. he rests his hand on her lower back, relishing in the warmth of the contact, breathing in her scent. she was completely right about him, he thinks, never saying what he really means to her. if he could have what he really wanted, she would be his, only his. a girlfriend. 

“yeah,” he takes a shaky breath, “yeah. i know,” reply coming, hesitantly. “i’m sorry, -” he breathes out, her name sounding sweet on his tongue. she blinks away the tears that want to form, grabbing the fabric of his shirt, a small tremble of the lip. she opens her mouth to say something, eyes tearfully meeting his. 

the metal door creeks open, momentarily releasing the booming music out into the alleyway, breaking the trance as a few smokers congregate by the back. the girl changes her mind, mouth shutting. she releases his shirt, pulling away, stepping around the man and smoothing her appearance, pads of her fingers coming to dry a few escaped tears. he watches her try and compose herself, shivering in her small dress. his heart clenches, feeling the overwhelming need to take care of her— wrap his arm around her, lead her back to his home, dress her in more of his clothes and watch her fall asleep. he shrugs off his light jacket, walking over to her and draping it over her shoulders without saying anything. she glances up at the man, engulfed by his warmth and the smell of him, ache in her chest. 

“i’m gonna go home,” she whispers, swaying slightly. 

“let me walk you,” he offers, hand coming to her upper back. she quickly shakes her head, taking a step away from him. 

he sighs at her stubbornness, says her name. 

“you’re drunk,” he observes, “let me make sure you get there okay.” 

she hiccups, crossing her arms. 

“ ‘m not drunk,” she slurs unconvincingly. he nods, letting out a breath, hand coming to rub his face. 

“okay,” he concedes, “then, just… go back in with me for a sec. say bye to everyone.” 

she meets his eyes, consideration running over her features, then nodding slowly. he puts his hand on the small of her back, steadying her as they walk back towards the large metal door. there’s a noticeable change in temperature difference as the two enter the club again, weaving through a sea of moving bodies, carmy holding tightly onto her, ushering her forward towards the corner table. he doesn’t miss the glances from his workers at the sight of the girl wearing his jacket, a few smiles cracked, looks exchanged. he ignores it, picks his beer back up as the girl excuses herself from the event, claiming to not feel good and chalking it up to drinking too much when she usually doesn’t partake. richie, surprisingly, says nothing, eyes trained on carmen, smirk plastered over his face. 

“i’m gonna head out too,” carmy announces, “take her home.” 

richie begins loudly laughing, clapping his hands together. 

“jesus christ, i am right about everything!” he shouts, slamming his glass down onto the table. carmen’s skin begins to prickle with embarrassment. 

“hey richie,” he chimes, “shut the fuck up.” he felt unbearably tense tonight between the day’s grueling shift, the girl dancing on another man, the newfound teasing, as if he were about to implode. he was in desperate need of some sort of release. carmy watches her, tightly clad fabric stretching over her ass as she leans down to give tina a hug. he felt guilty, almost, the way he had been shamelessly gawking at her throughout the night, the act doing nothing but intensify the burning he felt bottled up within him. 

“i’m sorry i’m leaving so early, t,” he hears from her mouth, “i don’t feel very well.” 

the older woman brushes the apology away, placing a kiss on the girl’s cheek. 

“feel better, baby,” she coos, looking to carmen, “jeff, you make sure she gets into bed okay,” the command motherly in tone. he nods, coming to give tina a side hug, “ ‘night, t. happy birthday.”

—

the sidewalk pavement was in dire need of repair, cracks and bumps literally the surface, worsening the walk for people who weren’t drunk. she stumbles over a divot, instinctively grabbing onto carmy’s arm for balance, heels catching on every small crevice. she lets out a cry of frustration, stopping in her tracks. 

“this is impossible,” she exclaims, reaching down to adjust the strap of her heel, “why don’t they fix this stupid street?” 

he can’t help the way the corners of his lips twitch upwards. she was cute, even in her frustration. he crouched, slightly, leaning over, arms out. 

“c’mere,” he tells her, “jump up.” 

she falters, trying to retain independence in her drunken stubbornness, but ultimately accepts, the other option being continually tripping over herself for another mile. she puts her hands up on his shoulders, using him as leverage to boost herself up, his arms coming to wrap around the backs of her thighs. he hears her squeal, slightly, feeling as she pulls the short dress down to cover the curve of her ass. the man grits his teeth, shaking the mental image of it as he tightly grips the supple skin of her upper thighs. she’s easy to carry, surprisingly so, as he continues walking in the direction of her apartment building. a silence settles between the two of them, breaths falling in line with the gentle rhythm of his steps. she wraps her arms around him further, bringing her head to rest on his shoulder, exhale tickling his neck. he clears his throat, glancing back at the girl, seeing her closed eyes. 

“i, uh,” he hesitates, gathering his thoughts, “i fuckin’ hated seeing that guy touch you,” the confession slipping off of his tongue. he feels her smile slightly against his neck. 

“i knew you would,” her reply comes softly. he lets out a small scoff, humored by what she admits. 

“you’re a brat,” he asserts lowly, pressing his fingers into her skin. she splays her arms out, pushing her chest against his back, hand coming to rest on his bare collarbones. 

“you were being a dick,” her words ringing truthfully, resounding throughout the man, feeling a pang of guilt. 

“yeah. i know,” he agrees, eyes fixed forward, “i’m sorry.” carmen lets a cloud of silence engulf the two before vocalizing again. 

“you know, i… really do wanna be with you,” he admits gently, soul bared. she pauses, soaking in his words, feeling almost as if a puzzle piece had been pushed into place. 

“why not?” her question comes soft, sweet. he lets out a deep breath. 

“you know why,” he quietly replies, the street lamps casting their two shadows as one. she does know why, aware of the sly glances the two received, apparent judgment surrounding a relationship with the power imbalance of theirs. 

“well, i quit then,” she pouts, lips brushing against his skin, erupting him in goosebumps. he shakes his head. 

“you can’t,” comes his rejection, “we need you,” expressing the fact with utmost sincerity. she hugs her arms around him tighter, smelling his cologne, his soap, a faint trace of cigarette smoke. 

“i don’t care,” she protests in all of her stubborn glory, “i wanna be yours, carm.” 

he feels himself surrender at her words, pulling her even closer. 

“you’re mine,” he assures her, glancing back to meet her eyes, nodding, feeling warmth as if a bright light glowed from his chest. they can figure out the details later— he genuinely didn’t want her to quit, trying to remind himself it was the only way their relationship would be ethical. the man slows in pace as they approach the front of her building, letting the girl hop down, holding his hand out to steady her once her feet make contact with the ground. she gives a small smile, intertwining her arm with his, hand coming to rest on the mass of muscle as the two make their way to her building. she clutches onto him in her inebriated state as they scale the tall stairs leading up to her door. she fumbles with her keys, eventually unlocking the deadbolt and pushing the door open. she turns to face him, giving him sort of a puppy dog look, hoping he’ll want to follow her in. a smile breaks his face, studying her expression. 

“i, uh, gotta make sure you get in bed okay,” he reminds her, gesturing inside. she grins, taking his hand, pulling him inside and shutting the door. the space was illuminated with strung lights, warm in hue, mystifying the room. he takes a deep breath, wrapped in her intoxicating scent, eyes scanning the room. he primarily notices how pristine it is, cozy, fragments of her soul framed over the walls and resting on shelves. it felt like a home, more than his ever has. she sets her keys and purse on a side table, kicking off her heels and sighing in relief, trudging to the kitchen to retrieve two glasses of water. when she hands it to him he can’t help but stare, focusing on her face, the ache for her insurmountable to anything he’s ever wanted before. he sets the glass down, hand coming to her lower back, deeply looking into her, past her beauty and towards her essence. he watches as her eyes flicker down to his lips, quickly coming back to meet his gaze. he’s in awe of her, almost, bringing both hands to the small of her back, squeezing her slightly, pulling her to him with ease. she lets out a breath at the action, hand coming to his forearm, feeling the flex of his tendons. he wants her all to himself, he thinks, leaning in towards her, raising his hand to cup the side of her face. she leans into the touch, turning, pressing a kiss to the base of his thumb, bringing her other hand to rest on his, biting the skin. he grasps her face at this, shoving his thumb into her mouth. 

“suck,” he commands, voice low, watching in anticipation as she brings her lips around the digit, tongue circling eagerly, trying to take more of it into her mouth. he nearly falls apart at the sight, twitching, pulling her flush against him, dragging his thumb out of her mouth and over her bottom lip. he drops his hand to touch her neck, watching her lips, hearing his heart pound in his ears. she brings her grip to clutch onto his shirt, heavily breathing. he cherishes her expression, cheeks flushed and lips parted, glistening. carmen tightens his hand around her throat very slightly, leaning in to taste her, his lips gently pressing against hers, hearing her moan at the unexpected contact. she’s sweet, soft, eager, the slightest trace of alcohol on her lips. he hadn't realized how much he had been craving her taste until it graced his tongue, feeling almost as if a tension in him had alleviated. he wants more, tattooed fingers wrapping around her neck, pulling her into him, deepening the kiss. she melts into him, trying to keep up with the ferocity of his kiss, pushing her tongue into his mouth. he groans, bringing his hand from her back to the curve of her ass, feeling, squeezing, pulling her in. he takes his hand off her throat, her leg slightly lifts, and he takes the opportunity to hoist it up over his hip, turning and pressing her into the counter, weight of his body against hers. it feels as if something had snapped within him, wanting to claim her all to himself, grabbing whatever he can of her, getting as close as possible, lips, tongues dancing in tandem. he presses a few slow kisses to her mouth, pulling away, forehead coming against hers, eyes shut. he listens to the sound of their breath, hand on her ass, fingers teasing the hem of her panties. she arches into his touch, body tingling, hot with desire. his hand comes up, then flies back down to smack her ass, the girl takes a sharp breath, firmly gripping it again after the impact. 

“fuck,” she breathes, a hot swell in her lower stomach. he creeps his hand up the skin of her thigh, slipping under her dress, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties, dragging them down her legs. her face grows hot at the way he takes command, shoving at the fabric until it slides down her calves and hits the floor. she steps out of them, breath shaky, drenched in anticipation, insides of her thighs growing wet. carmy gives her a final kiss before dropping to his knees in front of her, placing a few gentle kisses around her skin. she instinctively clamps her thighs at the sensation, the man bringing his hand to shove her leg to the side, exposing her glistening heat. he lets out a soft moan at the sight, closer than he’s ever been to her core, leaning forward to softly kiss her clit. the girl lets out a cry of surprise, hand flying to his head, the simple act sending a shock throughout her body. he brings his thumb and pointer finger to part her both of her lips, taking her image in, salivating slightly in anticipation. he casts his eyes up towards her face, flushed, mouth open. he leans forward, licking a long stripe up her wetness to her clit, swirling his tongue around the bud, pulling away. she pants, fingers tangled in his hair, arching towards him, wordlessly asking for more. he groans at the taste of her, a rush to his head, his cock, immediately diving in for more, lapping at her as if she’s the finest thing he’s had in his mouth. her knees begin to go weak, trembling slightly, trying to hold onto him for support. 

“carmy,” she whimpers, “i can’t stand.” 

this breaks his focus, bringing his eyes up to her with a glint. 

“yeah?” he asks, “feel too good, baby?” a smirk growing on his face. she refuses to respond, tightly shutting her eyes and throwing her head back when he brings his thumb to slowly circle her clit, watching, gauging her reaction. he pulls his hand away, placing a small smack on the inside of her thigh, the girl gasping. 

“answer me” he growls, breath tickling her mound, leaning to press a few more kisses to her swollen heat. she lets out a whine, grabbing his hair. 

“it feels- fuck it feels so good carm,” she shakily admits, knees nearly buckling. satisfied with her answer he brings both hands to the base of her ass, lifting her with ease and setting her on the countertop. she hastily grabs his shirt and pulls him in, locking lips and tasting herself on his tongue, letting a sweet sound into his mouth. he breaks away, desperate to feel her wetness on his mouth again. he kisses the inside of her thigh, then leans in, flattening his tongue against her clit, gently lapping, a finger coming to tease her pooling entrance. she unintentionally bucks her hips at the sensation, prompting carmen to bring the length of his forearm to her inner thigh, shoving it open, holding her down. she brings her eyes to his tattooed arm splaying her open, heart pounding, trying to straighten herself, awaiting his touch. he continues his gentle licks, circling his finger around her wetness, then pushing the digit into her slowly, eyes darting up to watch her mouth fall open. he swirls his tongue around her engorged clit, then gently sucks, curling his finger deeply inside of her, beginning to establish a rhythmic motion. her pants turn to cries, pulling the man in by his curls. his hand grips the skin of her thigh, spreading her open, devouring her, pushing a second finger into her. her teeth clamp down onto her lip at the sensation, gripping around his digits, trying hard to keep her composure in front of the man. carmy, aware of this, increases the pace of his movement, pulling his mouth away from her, beginning to tease her clit with a feather-like touch of his tongue. her head falls back, smacking against the cabinet, a loud moan slipping through her lips. 

“please,” she pleads, not sure for what, arching into carmen’s motion, hands grabbing whatever she can of him, the knot inside her stomach growing impossibly tight. he wants to feel her cum— clench around his fingers, see how long he can keep fucking into her until it’s too much— but he refrains, pulling his fingers out, soaked with her juices, standing up. her head jerks up to meet his eyes, panting, flushed, frustrated. 

“whyy?” she whines, trying to pull the man back to her. he lets out a scoff, smirk creeping at the edges of his lips, hands on the tops her thighs, gripping. 

“you think i’m gonna let you cum?” he asks, voice low, coming close to her face, “after that shit you pulled in the club?” 

her lip pouts, face heating at his words, held down by his weight, trying to catch her breath. the girl opens her mouth to argue back, but decides against it, just wanting to feel him— leaning forward to kiss him softly, hungrily, hands coming to feel the muscles of his chest. he melts into the kiss, hands wrapping around her back. 

“you don’t care, huh?” carmy teases between kisses, “just want me to keep touchin’ you,” pressing himself between her thighs, deepening their contact. she nods into the kiss, greedily reaching her hands down to pull his shirt up. he pulls away from her, taking it off completely, groaning as the girl runs her hands up his bare abdomen, then gently rakes her nails down, admiring the way his muscles flex under her touch. he grows a bit impatient, decides to pick her up, her legs coming to wrap around his back, carrying her to the bedroom. she grins at the way he holds her, hands gripping both of her ass cheeks, leaning down to kiss his neck in the short walk. when he drops her onto the plush duvet of her bed he leans over her, fingers grasping the side zipper of her dress, slowly pulling it down to reveal the skin of her ribcage, waist, stopping right above her hip. they lock eyes and he searches her face for any signs of hesitation, finding only blown pupils and flushed cheeks. he grabs the hem of the dress, slowly pulling it down her body to expose her breasts, waist, stomach, pelvis, letting the fabric fall over her ankles to the floor. his eyes drink her in, sparks firing in his brain, bringing his hands to grasp her waist, thumbs resting over her stomach. carmy leans in, deeply kissing her, savoring her warmth, then rises, unbuckling his belt. she props herself up onto her elbows, watching the man slowly unbutton his pants, pull the zipper down. she lets out a heavy breath at the sight of the large bulge behind his briefs, straining against the cotton, curved upwards to the right. she sits up, inching towards the edge of the bed, seated in front of the man, gazing up at him in adoration. 

“can i take these off?” she asks softly, fingers coming to hook into his briefs, pulling them slightly to reveal the deep v-line in his hips, light brown hair leading down to his covered pubic bone. her mouth was almost watering, looking up at him in anticipation. he grins at her eagerness, raising his eyebrows slightly, nodding his head, giving her permission to slip the waistband down over his hips, cock slapping against his stomach when she does so. she immediately grabs the length of his dick, heavy in her hand, giving it a few slow strokes, watching as he closes his eyes, breathing out heavily. her head feels fuzzy, wanting nothing more than for him to shove her back onto the bed and fill her completely, continuing to marvel at his thickness. he brings his hand to stroke the side of her face, fingers coming over her ear and threading through her hair, watching intently as she slowly jerks him off. she clenches her thighs together in an attempt to alleviate the growing ache, running out of patience. 

“carm,” she whines, gripping his cock, gazing up at him, handsome face framed by a few messy curls, “i want it already.” 

he lets a small smirk grace his face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. 

“yeah?” he asks, watching the girl quickly nod, bringing his face closer to his, lowering his voice, “you know i’m gonna fuckin’ wreck you tonight, right?” 

she heats at his words, eyes widening, an expectant shiver making it’s way through her body and settling throughout her core. he doesn’t let her respond, grabbing her thighs and pulling her, back coming to the mattress, pelvis flush with his. he bends her legs into her chest, leaning over her, the tip of his cock briefly gracing her wetness before he brings his hand down to grip himself, running the tip through her slick folds, sliding up to nudge her clit. she tightly shuts her eyes, lets out a quiet moan at the sensation— almost enough to satisfy, but not quite. he continues thrusting through her folds, listening to the wet sounds, coating himself in her juices. she tries to resist the urge but she can’t, reaching down, grabbing his cock and sticking it inside of her, legs coming to wrap around his back to pull him in. 

“fuckk,” he exclaims loudly, not expecting her desperation, suddenly engulfed in her warmth. he groans, trying to compose himself, bringing his hand to her throat, leaning in, pushing his hips forward to the hilt. she whimpers, cherishing the slight burn of fullness as he tightens his grip around her throat. 

“this what you wanted?” he asks, voice gruff, fully draped over her, nuzzling a kiss under her ear. the way he speaks to her ignites a flame, emboldening her slightly. her eyes gleam. 

“no,” she breathes, “i want you to fuckin’ move,” words laced with a tone. he lets out a short laugh, straightening, grabbing both her calves and propping them up over his shoulders, drawing out of her and then quickly snapping his hips forward. she gasps, hand flying up to her mouth. she feels the ridge of his head drag against her walls as he graciously begins to thrust into her, hands wrapped around her legs, eyes coming to watch her breasts bounce in time with his rhythm. her hand falls away from her mouth, a loud cry pouring from her lips. carmen revels in the sound as he continuously drives his hips forward, skin slapping against hers, gripping her left calf, turning to press a kiss into her ankle. his pace begins to satiate the relentless burn within her core, trying to take his length as deeply as possible.

“so good,” she whimpers, bringing her hands to her breasts, squeezing. carmy groans, slapping her outer thigh. 

“where’d that attitude go?” he asks, pelvis flush against her, pulling closer, “huh?” 

her brows furrow, opening her mouth to argue but falling short, a breathy moan replacing her words at the sensation of him deeply fucking into her. her body feels incredibly hot, nipples perked beneath her fingers, feeling herself approaching an edge. he grins, moving his hand to grip at her thigh, eyes scanning over the sight in front of him. 

“so fuckin’ pretty,” he tells her, hips stuttering, trying to push away his quickly approaching orgasm. he pulls out of her, the girl’s eyes shooting open to object. carmy takes hold of her forearms, pulling her to stand, grabbing her hips and turning her around, pushing her forward. her knee comes to the bed, balanced on her other leg as he wraps his arm around her waist, hand on her ribcage and inserts himself back into her tightness. 

“yes,” she cries, arching back against him and bringing her hand onto his arm, feeling the head of his cock thrust deeply upwards. the tingling in her core grows stronger; her head falls back onto his shoulder. carmen grunts, his free hand coming to find her clit, rubbing small, soft circles, feeling himself unravel at the intense pulse of her walls. he kisses her cheek, relentlessly pounding into her, the crescendo of her moans driving him higher and higher. his lips come right next to her ear, breath ragged. 

“you my girl?” he asks, another kiss on the side of her face, bringing his hand from her ribs to her breast, gently squeezing. 

she nods quickly, arm coming behind her to grab his hip, feeling him, tangible beneath her fingers. 

“all yours,” she pants, “i’m all yours, carm.” 

he groans at the sentiment, bottoming out inside of her, quickly circling her clit as her arousal grows slick on his fingers. she feels herself tumbling towards her edge, trying to physically hold onto him so as to not climax, fingers gripping into his skin. 

“i’m-,” a cry falls from her mouth. he pulls the two even closer, wetness pouring from her at the continual thrusts, feeling the cues of her body approaching climax.

“let it go, baby,” he coos, lips pressed against her ear. with his simple command she feels an intense heat envelop her body, orgasm crashing against her like a wave. she goes limp in his arms so he grabs her tighter, bending her over the bed. her thighs begin to shake as carmen relentlessly snaps his hips, watching her intently, feeling a white hot pleasure seep through him. he’s ferociously grabbing at her, pulling her in as he approaches his edge, stutter of his hips as he bottoms out and releases himself into her with a loud groan. she feels the pressure of his cum against her walls, intense heat diffusing as she rides out the shocks of her orgasm. he collapses over her, hand coming to the bed, trying not to put his full weight upon her. their labored breaths harmonize, hearts pounding. carmy runs a hand over her lower back, soothingly rubbing the limp girl. he pushes himself up, straining to grab a tissue off her nightstand to clean with, the act of pulling out of her releasing a constant pressure, the girl whimpering. he soaks up the mess of cum dripping down her legs, drinking in the sight, then rises to throw the tissues away. she’s able to muster the energy to push herself up and stumble behind him, walking into the bathroom to turn on the shower, steadying her shaky legs by holding onto the wall. she turns to see the man, naked in all his glory, approach her, placing his hands on her hips and leaning in to kiss her deeply. she seeps into his touch, hand coming to graze his lower stomach, exhaling slowly. he lets a peace wash over the two before speaking. 

“so, uh, i’ll take this as your two weeks notice, then?” he teases, hand falling to her low back. she tilts her head to the side. 

“what? you mean i don’t get a promotion after that?” she asks, smiling, trying to feign disappointment, “fuck.”

he grins, adoringly gazing down at the young woman, bathing in the light of her smile. 

he knew it was never supposed to go so far. it was never supposed to end up in this position, with her leaning in for another kiss, him greedily accepting. she was his completely now, the man making a vow to never let anything or anyone hurt her, cherishing the feeling of her warmth under his fingertips. 

it was never supposed to go so far, but it did. and he was so fucking glad it did. 

—

eeeek i hope you liked it!! i genuinely enjoyed writing this story so much. an epilogue to wrap up some loose ends is possible in the future- in the meantime i'll be posting some steamy carmy headcannons.

please leave me a comment and let me know what you think! thank you SO MUCH to everyone for the continued support on this series <3

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto smut #carmy berzatto imagine #the bear imagine

[tht0nesimp]

Yandere Shalnark- Darling

TW: Yandere themes, reader was obtained disgustingly, kidnapping, violence, kinda short, probably only like 1k words, drugging, manipulation, debt, kinda loan-sharks

(fic under cut)

"Bye" you got off of the phone with your landlord, "Shit" you sit on the curb outside of the apartment complex and hide your face in your hands. You sat and listened to the rain for what felt like the rest of your life

The rain was so loud, almost loud enough to block out a pair of quiet footsteps. It was far too late, the second you truly noticed the door hadnt opened was the same second the rag was placed over your face, The night sky blared in your eyes as it blurred and contorted the more you breathed in the sickeningly sweet chemical

You didnt expect to wake up, and certainly not in a dark room which seemed to inhabit just you and likely whatever creepy crawlies were sitting in the corners of these god forsaken walls. You cursed everything, you prayed that your friends and family knew you loved them and every other thing that came to mind

When instead of death, you were met with two men standing infront of you "ill be taking her now, feitan, thank you" you assume the other man just nodded because you were picked up, the man carried you for quite some time before you were dropped, the blindfold stopped you from seeing but you could hear a key jingling before you were picked up once more by the man, who dropped you on a concrete floor "im going to untie you now,ok" you dont have time to answer before the rope around your limbs was sliced quicker than you ask who he was

By the time you stood up and took off the blindfold he was on the other side of the room, sitting on a storage box in the large warehouse "sorry, i cant take you back to my place right now" You quickly back away from him, the door not unlocking as you rattle the door knob "sorry, your gonna need a key for that" The blonde man held up a key before placing it back in his pocket in one liquid motion

"Who are you?" The man seems to have a look of fake betrayal as he gasps "you really dont remember!..You were at a bank we robbed" Your eyes widen as the man "Me and the troupe that is, im Shalnark" your lungs seem to completely give up on you, it would seem so since they were unable to take a breath

"Are you going to hyperventilate?" Shalnark pulls out a small device with wings on the side "Id love to get a video" he gives a sweet smile and points the camera at you while you struggle to breathe on the cold concrete floor

"Whats going on?" A small boy comes out of the dark "Nothing, Kalluto" The boy takes one small glance at your struggling form and flicks his fan at you, A slew of air coming into your lungs as he does, You watch him leave just as quickly as he had entered the strangely tense room

"Thank you?..." you said as he quietly returned to his position elsewhere "Youll get used to it, afterall, youve got a lifetime!" he smiles and seems to be surprised when you perk up "What do you mean?!" His face returns to a near constant smile as he just looks at you like a child throwing a tantrum over something silly "I kidnapped you, i own you now..Youll never leave me" he says it as if its the most childish thing possible

"How did you find me" Shalnark laughs and gives you a glare "I didnt, your debt found me" he gets off of the box and approaches your shaking form, giggling when you tremble as his arm snakes around your shoulder "Your trembling darling! Im gonna bring you out to my..friends" his hand rests on your neck, threatening to squeeze but not quite doing so "If you act up, there will be consequences" his face gets much darker and disturbing than before, but he goes back to just being friendly as his arm returns around your shoulder as he practically carries you into another room "Hello!" he shouts out to the multiple men and women siting around the building "This is Y/N" he says as he drops you on an old couch next to the most muscular man you had ever seen "Nice to meet you" He holds his hand out and gives you a grin that showed his sharp teeth "Dont scare her uvo!" Uvogin just smiles "Just being polite, you dont mind? Right doll?" He turns to look at you once more, shalnark also sends you a look but his is a piercing glare "Well..uhm.." you shrug and the two both seemed to be annoyed at the fakely nonchalant action

Shalnark approaches you and grabs your wrist in almost an unbelievably tight grip, Another man in a black cowl seemed to take notice and smile as shalnark inches ever closer to breaking your wrist, you manage to pull your wrist away and inch away from shalnark. "darling, we'll talk about that later" he whispers in your ear while bending down to your height as you hug your knees and look around the room once more, eventually just keeping your head down

The people in the room spoke, they were so caught up they didnt seem to notice when you slinked away to explore, finding an exit quite quickly as you walk out into the surronding pavement to go down the street. You pause when you read the sign...The nearest town was 20 miles away and you were pretty sure there was just about no one around

You came back to the building and entered once more, noticing commotion in another room. You enter and shalnark practically tackles you "You left, pick your next words very wisely" his smile still remained as he stood above your form "im sorry" the smile fades and he gets off of you "You will be" he practically drags you until your behind closed doors

He pins you down on the ground, kneeling so he was in a position with your arm at his mercy "If i break your arm..you wont be able to leave for a couple weeks.." he debates his choice "if i break a leg..i could keep you here forever" he bites his lip, seeming to think about his desicion

You scream when your arm is pulled, the bone popping and dislocating "I havent even broken it yet!" he laughs as tears stream down your face and onto the floor. He pulls harder and laughs once more when your scream gets louder "Its not that bad! Maybe ill do your leg too~" he coos in your ear as he pulls until he hears a clean snap

He gets up and stretches "That really got me worked up...maybe i can help feitan out!" he smiles and waves goodbye as he goes off to find feitan. Your left with a disgustingly intense pain in your arm, You get on the nearby bed which you assumed was his and clutched your arm

Hours pass, He returns and is suprised to see you still laying down crying "I guess i overestimated you...You are just a civilian after all" he sits down next to you and hands you a bottle of pain relief pills and a gatorade "I stole them from some store nearby" he says it as if its normal as he watches you take the pills "They might make you tired" he looks at you, watching you yawn "Feel free to go to bed, i have to be out tonight" theres a carelessness in his voice as he walks out

You give into sleep, curling up under the thin blankets as the pain dies down

You wake up to shalnark leaning over you, "Your finally awake!" he smiles as the pain from your arm registers. He sits down on the bed next to you and pokes your arm "I went out and stole stuff to make this more...comfortable for you" you nod and look at the bag on the floor and a fuzzy blanket that sat next to it "I really shouldnt give them to you..but im choosing to be nice even after your little escape attempt yesterday" you give him a irritated look "it was not an escape attempt" he gives you a sarcastic glance "Sure it wasnt" he searches through the shopping bag on the floor for a moment

"i dont eat breakfast, but Fei said most people do" he puts a yogurt on the bed and smiles as you pick it up. Your about to eat it but look at him and he seems confused before you speak "did you remember to buy a spoon?" it registers "Nope!, another member might have one though" he walks out before you can ask which

Your forced to get out of bed, trying to not put any pressure on your already aching arm as you try to remember the name of the one who you met yesterday. You found him talking to who you assumed was Feitan with your yogurt in one hand as the other laid strangely against your side "Do either of you know where i can find a spoon" You yawn and stare at them as they point to the bar behind you

You approach the bar and see a couple plastic spoons, you picked one up and began eating as the two men watched you retreat back to the room you had came from and sit back down on the bed. You looked at the bag from this morning, but dont dare look inside as you lay your head down

Sleep envelopes you as you quietly shift, you placed the fluffy blanket over you along with the few thin ones that were on the bed. You would sleep until shalnark appeared again...

#xreader #yandere male #yandere phantom troupe #yandere shalnark #yandere HxH #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hunter x reader #Yandere #MxF #kidnapping #no smut #yandere scenarios #yan! #yandere blog #yandere fic #CandiesActualFics

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

ahh im obsessed with the summer prompts. Can I request Lifeguard Tom with prompt 36 please? preferably fluffy ending but its all up to you thanks!

This became very long sorry bestie. I hope you still enjoy it tho! Love you so much, thank you for the request love!

Reminder to everyone else that the Summer of Love is still going on and I'll be accepting requests for it until September 22nd! You can find the prompt list here!

Let’s Give It a Shot

36 - It’s the last day of summer, and your last day together

Pairing: Lifeguard! Tom x Reader

Summary: Tom shows you exactly why you love him so much

Warnings: angst, crying, fighting

Masterlist

Summer of Love

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Tom peaked at the bed as he pulled his shirt over his head, a smile came over his face at the sight.

“Good morning angel,” he cooed, “Like what you see?”

“I liked it better when you had your shirt off,” she teased, her voice still raspy and tired, “Remind me why we agreed to work today?”

“It’s only till noon,” he reminded as he bent to kiss her. He laughed as she attempted to pull him into bed, “I’ve got to get going, swim class starts at 7.”

She rolled onto her back and groaned, “Who the fuck takes their kids to swim class at 7?”

“Their toddlers angel, most of them have been up since 5,” he pecked her lips one final time before standing up, “I’ll see you at 8?”

She hummed, nodding once before she closed her eyes again, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he watched her settle back into bed before leaving, closing the bedroom door as quietly as he could behind him.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“Bye bye,” Tom waved to the kids as they padded through the lobby.

“We’ll see you all Thursday,” Harrison added.

“Well I really appreciate it,” Tom smiled in response, falling into the spinning chair that she usually sat in, “Seriously, I owe you.”

The kids filed out, being ushered away by their parents while the boys hung around the front desk.

“I can’t believe I agreed to take you shift,” Harrison yawned, stretching his arms above his head, “You’re such a dick.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the best,” he glanced towards the door, just in time to spot (y/n), “Oh shit, fun’s over Tom, time to get back to work.”

“Ha ha,” she rolled her eyes, “What are you two doing at my desk huh?”

“You’re desk?” Tom smirked, “This is my desk today angel.”

“Oh and I suppose you want me to save the drowning children?”

“No,” he stood and grabbed her by the waist, “Haz is going to watch the pool today and I’m going to help you up front.”

She raised a brow and turned to Harrison, “Really?”

He nodded, “Course sweetheart, happy to give you a little extra time together.”

“Aw, thank you Haz,” she cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“You’re welcome,” he gave her a squeeze before dropping her, “Alright, I’ve got to go clean up, you two just make sure everything is done. I don’t want to get in trouble because you two were making out instead of working.”

“We will, don’t worry,” she laughed, “Thank you guys, I couldn’t have dreamed up a better last day.”

“You’re welcome,” Tom hummed, pressing his lips to hers as she tried to reach for the computer behind him, “We could do this everyday if you stayed, I could switch to the front.”

“Tom you know I can’t,” she sighed, “I don’t think we should be having this discussion at work either, it’s just gonna make us both emotional.”

“You’re leaving tomorrow morning so I’m gonna be emotional no matter what,” he sighed, “You never want to talk about this.”

“Because I don’t like thinking about leaving. I don’t like the idea of being far away anymore than you do.”

“Then don’t leave,” he grabbed her hands, preventing her from getting to her job, “Just stay here. You can move in with us, Haz adores you, he won’t mind.”

“Tom I can’t. I have to go back to school, and right now I have to open, so can we please save this for later?”

He sighed and nodded, “Yeah, yeah, we can talk about it later.”

“Thank you,” she kissed his cheek before pushing across the floor.

He laughed as the chair spun away from her, “I don’t know how you expect me to help from all the way over here.”

“I expect you to go make sure the bathrooms are stocked,” she flashed him a cheeky smile while she popped open the register, “And I’m gonna count the cash.”

He sighed and dragged his feet towards the closet, “Fine, fine, I wouldn’t do it for anyone else though.”

The day continued as normal, despite Tom’s best attempts to distract (y/n) from work. Tom had surprised her by doing most of the work throughout the day, insisting she simply sit and handle the register. It was a nice change, normally when Tom hung out in the front it was just to steal drinks and tease. Tom busted through all of her tasks, seeming impossibly determined to get them home as soon as possible. He’d managed to do it too, Harry arrived at exactly noon and he’d rushed (y/n) right out the door.

“Hurry,” Tom shook her shoulders while she gathered her things.

“I am, I am, sheesh,” she shoved her phone into her purse and stood, “What’s the big rush?”

“I’ve just got a lot planned for today,” he beamed at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, “Now come on, our first stop is this way.”

“Our first stop?” she knit her brow as he led her towards the pool, “Wait why are we going to the pool?”

“Because it’s our first stop,” he repeated, stopping just outside the doors, “See that?” he pointed to one of the lifeguard’s chairs.

She nodded, trying to imagine where he might be taking the conversation, “I do see the chair Tom.”

“It’s the most important chair in the world,” he kissed the top of her head with a smile, “Because I was sitting in that chair the first time I saw you.”

She flushed, biting her cheek to try and fight off her smile, “Stop.”

“I remember it exactly. You walked out of there and I just couldn’t take my eyes off you, you wouldn’t believe how disappointed I was when they said you were gonna be up front.”

“I thought you were pretty cute too.”

He laughed, “Thank God you did.”

“Did you bring me out here just for that?” she raised a brow, “You’re not trying to throw me into the pool?”

He shook his head, “No, just wanted to be a little sappy. Now I’m gonna take you on that date and be even sappier.”

“Lucky me,” she chuckled, “So, where are you taking me now?”

“Minx,” he smirked, “Alright darling, just get ready for the best date of your life.”

“Back home, I can’t parade around the town dressed like this,” he motioned to his swim trunks with a smile, “As much as you might like that.”

“I’d rather save that for tonight,” she teased back, “When I’ve got you all to myself.”

Tom took her home, refusing to reveal even the tiniest detail about their date as they both got ready. He claimed it would be long, that’d they’d be out until that night, but refused to give her any more details. He even went as far as to try and blindfold her when they got in the car, but he quickly dropped it when she refused. She expected he’d be taking her somewhere new or out of town because of this, she was completely in shock when he just drove her to a sandwich shop just up the street from the pool.

“Seriously? We eat here like everyday,” she rolled her eyes, “This cannot be it Tom.”

“It’s not,” he laughed, “Obviously I’ve got something more than this planned. I just thought we could stop here.”

“Why?”

“Because, if you remember,” he began to explain, a smile overtaking his features, “You stayed late to help me clean the pool and I took you to lunch as thanks. It was like our first half date.”

“Half date?” she laughed, “That is not a thing Tom.”

“Yes it is, it was the first time we hung out outside of work together, and it’s when I asked you out, it’s a half date.”

“Those are very specific circumstances that define a half date,” she pursed her lips, fighting her urge to smile.

“Whatever, the point is, this place is special because it reminds me of you,” he leaned over the middle console to press a kiss to her cheek, “And I just wanted to tell you that before we got to the real date.”

“Aw,” she cooed at him, “Don’t tell me it’s going to get even sappier than this.”

“Oh angel, just you wait, it’s only getting worse and worse from here.”

She watched out the windows as Tom drove her across town to another restaurant, though this time she knew exactly why he’d brought her there.

“Tom,” she bit her lip as she spoke, “This is incredibly cute.”

“Ah not here angel,” he grabbed her hands as she tried to open the door, “Just being sappy again. Remember what happened here?”

“Our first date, how could I ever forget that?” she smiled as she reminisced on the happy memories, “We got all dressed up and you brought me flowers. Then we talked until they closed, and we still couldn’t get enough of each other so you drove me up to that cliff side and talked all night.”

“No, no, it was nothing like that,” he rolled his eyes, “I picked you up and you looked so fucking gouregous I could barely speak. Then I took you to this restaurant and I tried so desperately and to seem interesting enough to keep your attention. For some reason you put up with me, and we talked and talked and talked. I thought you’d want to go home at the end of the night but you still weren’t sick of me so we drove up to that little lookout point and I fell madly and deeply in love with you while we talked the night away.”

“You did not fall in love with you on our first date,” she rolled her eyes, “You’re just trying to make me emotional.”

“I fell in love with you the first time I laid my eyes on you, it just took me a little while to realize it.”

She sighed, letting her head fall onto his shoulder, “I fell in love with you the first time we kissed. I’ve never felt like that with anyone else.”

“Mine was cuter,” Tom hummed as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Oh whatever,” she rolled her eyes, “Alright, are we going to the real date now?”

“You’ll see, you’ll see,” he shushed her, driving just a few parking lots over to the local bowling alley, “Remember here?”

“Another one?” she sighed, “Alright, you took me here to introduce me to your brothers. I found out that I majorly suck at bowling that night.”

“Yeah you do,” he laughed, “But my brothers adore you, they treat you like a sister and it totally melts my heart.”

“Yeah, I think they’re cool too,” she chuckled, “So, is there an actual date or are you just taking me on a victory lap of the city?”

“There is a date, at the end of the victory lap,” he admitted, “There’s just a couple more things I want you to see first.”

“You’ll see, just give it a second,” he hummed.

Tom drove her all over the city, stopping anywhere with even the tiniest amount of significance. He took her to the club where they’d spent Harrison’s birthday, the fairgrounds where they spent way too much money on rigged games, even the local park, where her and Harry had gotten way too competitive with a game of frisbee golf. He took her to more sentimental spots too, like where they’d had their first kiss, the hill where they’d fallen asleep watching a meteor shower, the place where they’d first said I love you, where they’d had their first time. It was like a montage of their greatest hits, that had her falling in love with Tom, and the city, all over again. She was almost in tears when Tom finally declared that the tour was over, and it was really time for their date.

“Okay, where are we really going then?” she pressed, her eyes glued to the window for any clues, “I mean we’ve pretty much been everywhere already…”

“Looks like we’re heading to your place, or work,” she knit her brow.

“Does it?”

“Does it?” she mocked, “We have to get out of this car soon or I’m gonna pee myself.”

“Well,” he flicked his blinker on and turned into the pool parking lot, “Good thing we’re here.”

“Tom I swear to god I-”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he laughed, “But you can run inside real quick and use the restroom before we go.”

“They’re closed.”

“I have my keys,” he flicked off the car, grinning as he waved for her to follow, “Hurry up angel.”

She followed him inside, suspicious that he had some kind of ulterior motive, “We are not fooling around in there Tom.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” he hummed as he opened the front door, “Go on, take care of your business.”

“Thanks,” she scampered off to the bathroom, only to find Tom was missing when she returned, “Tom?” she peaked around the lobby but found nothing. She got no response when she knocked on the men's locker room door, and the employee lobby was empty. “Tom?” she called again, peeking at her phone for any hints, “Come on,” she sighed and headed for the pool.

“Surprise!”

Out jumped everyone she’d spent the summer with, Tom, Harrison, his brothers, everyone they’d worked with at the pool, all the friends she’s made across town. The pool was all lit up, lined with tables full of food and drinks. (y/n) was in shock, her jaw hung open as she took it all in.

“So,” Tom’s arms wrapped around her waist and he pressed a kiss to her cheek, “What do you think?”

“This is amazing,” she squeezed his hands, “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” he kissed her cheek again before stepping away, “We all wanted to make your last night really special.”

“It’s perfect,” she confirmed, “Seriously, I couldn’t imagine anything better than this.”

“Glad to hear it love,” Harrison wrapped his arm around her shoulders for a quick hug, “Come on though, you’ve got lots of people to say goodbye too.”

She was led around to say hi to everyone, progressively becoming more and more emotional as the night went on. Tom stuck right to her side, doing his best to comfort her as the night went on. It was nice, she appreciated the gesture and everyone being there, but the realization that this was her goodbye just kept creeping back up. Tom could tell she was drained by the end of the night, obviously ready to just curl up in bed.

“Angel, are you ready to go home?” he hummed.

“No, no, I’m okay,” she insisted, “We should stay and help clean up.”

“You can’t clean up your own party,” Harry rolled his eyes, “We’ll stay back and clean it up. If you’re ready to go you and Tom can head out.”

“Are you guys sure?” she wrung her hands nervously, “We can stay and help.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah, it’s not very much anyway, we’ve got this.”

“Thanks guys,” Tom squeezed her side, “Let’s get you home then yeah?”

She nodded, “Thanks guys.”

She moved to give each of them a hug, mumbling a quick goodbye, hoping to escape to the car as quickly as possible. Harry seemed to have other ideas in mind though.

“I love you,” he squeezed her tight.

“Aw, I love you too,” she chuckled.

“I’m gonna miss you so much sis,” he patted her back as she pulled away.

She forced a smile as she stepped away, waving to them while her and Tom slipped away.

“Are you alright?” Tom squeezed her waist.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she insisted as she climbed into the passenger seat, “I just wanna go home.”

“Alright, we’ll go.”

“He called me sis.”

“What?”

“Harry called me sis.”

Tom chuckled, “Well yeah, I told you earlier, they think of you like a sister.”

“But it’s different when he says it,” she sniffled, her facade finally crumbling, “I don’t wanna go Tom.”

He moved to her side as quick as he could and pulled her into him, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to angel. If you want to stay you can, Haz and I would be more than happy to have you.”

“But I can’t! I can’t just ditch everything for a summer fling! I have to go back to school and my family and I have to go home! But I don’t want to go back there! I want this to be home, I don’t want to leave!”

Tom took a deep breath and kissed the top of her head before scooting back to his seat, “I know we went a lot of places today angel, but I’ve got one more thing to show you alright?”

“No I don’t wanna go fucking see anything else Tom! I just want to go home…”

“We will, I just want to show you one thing angel, it’ll make you feel better,” he promised, slipping a hand over hers, “It’ll be quick.”

“Okay…”

She was quiet the rest of the short drive, he’d taken her to a small cafe, they’d only been there once before.

“Come on angel,” he waved for her to follow him.

“Why would you bring me here?” she scoffed.

“Just come on,” he insisted, smiling as she slammed the door behind her, “Come sit with me,” he patted his lap.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before falling into his lap, “Why are we here?”

“Do you remember what happened here?” he hummed.

She nodded, “Yeah, we had our first fight here, and it seems like you’re trying to have our second too.”

“No, I’m making a point,” he corrected with a smile, “We had our first fight here, and then we never came back here again. But that is not why I brought you here, I brought you here because that fight made me think about us, and the fact that you had to leave at the end of summer. I kept trying to think of ways around it or ways for us to minimize our time apart, but you know what thought never crossed my mind?”

“What?” she sank into her chair.

“That when summer came to an end we would break up, because we aren’t a summer fling. We never were, not even for a second, and the sacrifices we make are not for a summer fling, they’re for a real relationship that both of us treasure. If you really, really don’t want to go then you can stay, and I mean we’ve got a Uni nearby and you’ve always got somewhere to stay here. But if I’m the only reason you don’t want to go then you need to go, and we’ll suffer through the long distance until my lease with Haz is up and then I’ll move to you.”

She shook her head, “It’s not just you, I love this town, and the friends I’ve made here, it’s everything about this place. I just feel like I belong here, and I’ve never felt like that back home.”

“Obviously I’m biased here,” he chuckled, “But you could always just give it a semester out here, transfer back if you hate it, or vice versa. Just remember this long distance thing is going to be temporary no matter what, and even then we’re only a couple hours apart.”

She was silent as she tried to sort out her thoughts, “Yeah, school’s a little cheaper out here too, that’d be nice. A-And I haven't paid for anything yet this year so I’m not really obligated to go…”

“You don’t have to justify anything to me angel, obviously I want you to stay” he kissed her shoulder with a frown, “If you wanna give it a shot then I think you should, but if you don’t, we’re still gonna make this work, because I love you.”

“I love you too,” she sniffled while he wiped her eyes, “Thanks Tommy.”

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Taglist:

@niallberry @namoreno @spideyssunshine @thevery-firstpage @outshineallthestars @roseke @zspideyy @tomsirishgirlx @emistrash @andreagf956 @peachyafshawn @spideyspeaches

#summer of love #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland au #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader angst #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #lifeguard #lifeguard au #lifeguard!tom #harrison osterfield #tom and harrison #peter parker #Peter Parker Imagine #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #Arvin Russell #arvin russell imagine

[ssamie]

thirteen. “til death do us part”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, jumping off a bridge ;-; (nobody dies tho)

masterlist.           suicide freak!

"well what happened afterwards??" kuroo asked kenma 

the boys were in kenma's room chilling and playing games while kenma tells kuroo about his confession "uh.. nothing really" kenma said with a sigh 

"she didn't respond but she didn't really reject me either" he said "she had a call from her agency saying they needed her for something and she had to leave" 

kuroo was visibly disappointed at the result, patting his friend's back as he let out a sigh "well, like you said, she technically didn't reject you" he said "plus, she's been fawning over you for a long time. im pretty sure she likes you back" 

kenma furrowed his brows and shrugs. "sure i guess.." the pudding head muttered 

"cmon, kenma! don't get all sulky on me now!" kuroo exclaimed. the boy laid back on the bed and pulled out kenma's phone, placing it between them and began counting

"ten.. nine.. eight..seven.. six.." 

"what the hell are you doing?" kenma deadpanned "im counting down the seconds it takes before y/n tells you to meet up or something" kuroo explained 

".. five.. four.. three.." 

"im pretty sure it doesn't work like that-" he was cut off by the loud ringing of the phone. the caller id was shown, revealing it to be y/n herself. kuroo jumps up and cheers, yelling and howling in happiness as he ruffles kenma's hair 

"kenma, i told you!!" kuroo exclaimed excitedly "dude, i should be a fucking psychic" 

"no, you shouldn't" 

kenma picks up the phone with shaky hands. he sends kuroo a wary glance, who simply gave him a thumbs up in return. his trembling fingers answered the call, and then pressed the phone to his ear 

"h-hello? y/n?" 

"kenma! how's my favourite pudding-head doing? ow-" she asked 

kenma furrowed his brows as he heard her wincing from the other line, undoubtedly from pain. "um.. are you okay?" he asks worriedly 

"oh yes, of course i am" she answered way too quickly for it to not be suspicious "but i do need your help for something.. come to the same bridge from last night" she said in a serious tone 

kenma gulped as he made various frantic gestures to kuroo, silently asking for his help. though kuroo was no help since all he did was smile blankly while holding up two thumbs up 

"um, okay! do i go there now or..?" 

"yup! bye-bye ~" 

kenma then let himself drop to the ground as soon as the call ended. he felt like turning into a puddle and drying up from the nervousness flowing through his whole body at the moment

"k-kuroo.." he mumbled "dude, you okay?" kuroo asked with a chuckle "like i said, y/n is definitely responding to the confession!" 

"yeah okay-" kenma grumbled 

"but please help me up. 80% of my nervousness is now in my knees. i can't stand." 

kenma nuzzled his nose into his hoodie, covering half of his face as he nervously approached the riverbank. like he said beforehand, his nervousness has traveled down to his knees and it seems that it still hasn't left. 

"hey hey hey ~ over here, kenma!" she yelled 

kenma looked up to see her waving her arm around like a madman. though, one of her arms were in a sling, and she just looked quite roughed out more than usual 

he jogged over to her with a frown while eyeing her obvious injuries "hey, what what happened to you?" kenma asked her 

"oh this? this is nothing" she said with a laugh "i somehow broke it during a mission last night, but not to worry, the ever so lovely yosano-san cured me" she laughed nervously 

"ah yes.. yosano-san.." she shuddered 

it left kenma thinking of what could have possibly been so bad about getting cured. though he left it be and paid no mind. 

"so why did you call me?" he asked her. he was feeling quite anxious at the moment and he was feeling very thankful that she wasn't acting indifferent towards him 

"well, i called you over for multiple things" she said 

"firstly.." 

kenma gulped as she paused dramatically, leaving him to anticipate whatever it is that she has to say 

"i need you to play this game for me so i can pretend to be better than chuuya." she stated with a straight face. she then handed him her phone, which had the game's chat open and had chuuya laughing and teasing her 

chuuya's messages consisted of 'you're such a fucking loser' and 'you suck balls' among others. 

"what?" kenma sweat dropped 

"please! that munchkin will get too happy if he wins one more time!" she pleaded 

kenma sighed but did as he was told. he was playing the game while she watched him with sparkling eyes "kenma! you're a lifesaver!" she exclaimed once she had won the game 

"could you imagine me losing to chuuya?!" she scoffed out with a grin "gosh! my ego wouldn't be able to handle such torture!" 

"now, secondly.." she paused once again "eat this ramen with me!" 

kenma sweat dropped as she had randomly pulled out two cup ramens, which for some reason are both hot and in well condition 

"where did you even get that?" kenma asked her with a soft laugh 

"that's a secret! but did you know-" she mused "the reason i got this for us is because ranpo-san told me about it. apparently, its a 'deathly spicy ramen' and he wanted to refer it to me" 

kenma blinked at her but smiled anyways "wow. so then im assuming you're expecting us to die from this?" 

"its worth a shot!" she cheered. she handed him chopsticks and sent him a cocky grin "i'll let you know i can handle spicy food quite well" 

"so if all else fails, i packed a ghost pepper just in case-" 

"please put the pepper away <3"

kenma sighed as he reluctantly ate the ramen, slurping on the noodles and soup as tears brimmed his eyes "im not very good with spicy food.." he muttered as he fanned his mouth 

"finish it!!" she exclaimed, though tears has also brimmed her eyes 

"you're in the brink of tears too!" he groaned in agitation 

"these are tears of happiness! i can almost taste the death looming over us!" she exclaimed with a grin 

after finishing the very spicy ramen, she had unfortunately concluded that it was, in fact, not deadly. in the end, the pair had to run to a nearby food stall to buy some drinks

and as they were drinking, y/n had once again perched herself onto the flat surface of the metal railings, letting her feet dangle as they watched the sunset in peace 

"y/n.. about last night.." kenma muttered out nervously 

"ah yes, your confession?" she chuckled "no need to worry about that. i already know what im gonna say.." 

kenma blinked in shock, frantically averting his eyes from her and to the ground as he felt his anxiety rocketing 

"which brings me to my third reason of calling you over.." she said "kenma, there's something i need to tell you" she said 

her expression had gone aloof and the playful smile on her lips has now faltered "what is it?" he gulped 

she took two steps back as she looked him in the eyes. her (e/c) orbs not seeming to give any hints as she peered at him 

"y/n.. if you're gonna reject me then-" he was, of course, cut off once again as she suddenly pulled her 'injured' arm out of her sling and popped it out to wave at him

"boo!" she cooed out with a dumb smile 

"what the hell." kenma replied as he blankly stared at her

she laughed and slipped the sling off, folding it neatly before casually throwing it down the bridge "did i have you fooled?" she chuckled "anyways.. about that statement you didn't get to finish.." she hummed 

"what makes you think i would reject you?" she asked him 

her bandaged hand patted the spot next to her, indicating that she wanted him to sit. following her wishes, kenma hesitantly sat next to her. 

he was fiddling with his fingers as a huge and overbearing wave of silence washed upon them. fortunately for him, she wasn't looking so she couldn't see his trembling body, and the nervous look on his face 

"well, i kind of assumed you don't like me since.. you kinda left me hanging last night.." kenma muttered 

"hm, i did do that.." she hummed back quietly "what would you do if i said i liked you back?" she asked him 

kenma couldn't see it, but it seemed he could basically feel her cheeky smile appearing "um.." he stammered 

what would he do? he didn't really know. he didn't plan that far ahead. and kuroo was nowhere to give him some awful but doable advice. 

"i-i don't know.." he stuttered out. kenma could feel himself heating up. its like his cheeks was on fire as he felt bursts of embarrassment and butterflies banging on his stomach. 

"would you kiss me?" she mused 

kenma froze up. he looked up at her, face beet red and eyes as wide as saucers, as he mumbled incoherent words 

"well- no? i don't really know how to do that-" he stammered "or yeah- if you want- or um- i love you." 

she chuckled and slowly faced him with a gentle smile "i love you too, then" she laughed 

kenma has officially blown a fuse. 

his face exploded into a bright red as he felt all the weight of the pressure and anxiety leave his body 

"so, do i get my kiss now?" she asked teasingly 

"uh well-" kenma muttered with a sheepish smile "i dunno how-" 

he was cut off by a hand grabbing a tuft of his hair from his nape. her fingers tugged on his faux blonde locks as she pulled his face closer to his 

"itadakimasu~" she cooed out 

kenma.exe has stopped working. 

once her lips had pressed onto his, his whole body tensed up. though a total contrast to his reaction, she was quite calm. obviously calm enough to shove her tongue down his throat. 

their kiss was short but sensual. he took notice of how deliciously addicting her tongue danced against his. he definitely needed to ask where she got all those kissing skills from later on. 

he may not like the answer since it was from chuuya, but let's not get into that..

she pulled away after a minute, her grip on his hair loosening as she pressed one last peck on his parted lips. she backed away and licked her lips to tease him. 

"oh my" she cooed at him "if i would've known you taste this good, then i would've kissed you much sooner" 

"u-umm.." kenma muttered bashfully 

he was blinking sluggishly as his fingers lightly graze his lips, reminiscing in the feeling of hers against it. 

"y/n.. will you be my girlfriend?... please?" he asked in a quiet and flustered tone. all the nonexistent confidence he had before has now fully evaporated away. 

"of course." she mused 

"wait-really??" kenma asked her with a look of disbelief and sheer happiness

he bit back a smile as he looked up to look at the setting sun, then back at her. her features were illuminated by the soft golden rays, making her look simply ethereal, atleast to him. 

kenma was then brought back into reality as he felt the soft skin of her hand and the textured bandages touch his. 

she intertwined their hands and brought it up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. she chuckled at him as he turned his head to the side, trying to hide his blush from her. 

"til death do us part." she grinned 

"okay, that was very sweet.. but when it comes from you, it kinda seems like you're about to kill us both-" 

without uttering another word, she pushed herself off from the railings she was sat on, and tugged him along with her. 

"y-y/n?! y/n!" kenma shrieked as he felt himself free falling in the air. his grip on her hand tightened as he nervously recoiled into a ball. the cold air hit his skin in the most nerve wracking way, leaving his skin with goosebumps and shivers tingling down his spine. 

"so this is what it's like.." she mumbled 

kenma looked over to her, the panic in his eyes gradually fading as he was met with her warm and love-filled orbs. she held the most tranquil and peaceful smile as she looked at him with a sense of joy and plenitude. 

"y/n.." his lips quivered as he gripped her closer 

she simply smiled at him as both of their hair flew erraticly due to the wind. the sound of the flowing water got louder and louder 

until finally, they hit the surface with a huge splash. 

she faintly heard loud and ragged breaths coming from kenma as he swims back up for air, hastily paddling against the strong current to drag himself and, her as well, back to land. 

"I KNEW IT! ARE YOU CRAZY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he exclaimed once he catched his breath 

she laid down on the grassy ground beneath them and closed her eyes. she had a faint smile on her lips as she mumbled under her breath 

"double suicide.. im definitely not dying unless it feels like that.." she whispered 

kenma's demeanour softened at her words. he laid down beside her with a huff, tucking his wet hair behind his ears and doing the same for her. 

"if we're gonna kill each other, atleast tell me first." he sighed "also, drowning is definitely scratched off your list" 

"well, you look like you can't swim so.." she chuckled playfully "that's not a valid excuse" kenma sighed, though a fond smile etched itself on his lips

they probably looked quite strange to other's perspectives, if anything, they looked like dead bodies that had washed up to shore. 

but they didn't really care. 

"also, that was a very weird assumption. do i really look that lanky to you?"

"yes <3"

kissing scenes are so weird to write, or at least for me  ;-;

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyu x you #haikyu x y/n #kenma x you #kozume kenma #kenma x y/n #kenma x oc #kenma x reader #kozume x reader #hq kozume #kenma kozume #kozume x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo testuro #nekoma #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs dazai #dazai x reader #nakahara chuuya #chuuya x y/n #anime x reader #kodzuken #kenma x fem!reader #kenma kuzome #akaashi imagine #tw: sucidal ideation #tw: sui mention

[deniigi]

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

 --

  “SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

 --

 There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

 SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

 --

 BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

 --

 Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

 HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

--

 Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

 --

 Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

  PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

  Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

  SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

  Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

  PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

  Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

  PP: hey sam?

  No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

  PP: hello? Are you still there?

 --

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,” he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said.  “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

 ---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!

#fic #ficlet #btsm #samuel chung #peter parker #I just love them being awkward nerds with each other #I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS AND THEN CRY A LITTLE ABOUT IT ITS FINE

[goldenncherrybombb]

To Be So Lonely

The one where Harry gets lonely in Japan.

Need to catch up?

Masterlist 

Warning: The tiniest amount of smut, and cursing 

Word count: 4.5k 

This isn’t edited so im sorry for any mistakes :p

Harry has been in Japan for two weeks now. He didn’t intend to stay for two weeks, and more. But he doesn’t plan on leaving japan anytime soon. He decided that halfway through the first week. 

Everyday he gets up around eight, goes to the cafe down the street and gets his usual, looking at the vinyls while waiting for his order. Once done he sits in his usual spot, pulling out a book and reading while eating, or writing in his journal. Then he walks around, going to different markets. 

He’s found himself in the studio a few times as well, and he hangs out with friends as much as possible, creating new ones on the way. 

But he still feels lonely. 

He’s around his friends majority of the afternoon and into the night, then he comes back to his temporary residence and goes to bed lonely. No one to talk to about his day out, the things he saw, the new ideas for songs, and no one for him to experience his trip with him c

He often finds himself daydreaming about y/n. When he goes out and finds romantic spots he wonders if she would like it, or when he tries anything new he wonders if she would try it. He’ll find jewelry he thinks would look amazing for her. He even picked up a little ring for her. 

 He just misses her. 

But he’s been ignoring her. He didn’t tell her he had left the country. He only told his mum and Jeff. He’s not sure why he didn’t tell her. It’s supposed to go back to how it was right? 

Wrong 

The feelings are still there, hell, Harry even thinks they are deeper now. He still loves her with all his heart. He has no resentment for her because she was the one who broke it off. He knows why she did it. For him, and for her. 

He may have been gone from the house more often that not, but he saw the sadness in her face. She didn’t sleep with a calm face anymore, with her mouth slightly open, and no creases in her forehead. Now she slept with a frown on her face and her forehead creased, looking upset in her sleep even. 

He was hurting her and it hurt him even more to know that. 

She’s his everything. Yet he was the one person dragging her down. Making her sad, and making her question her worth. 

He couldn’t do it anymore. He doesn’t want to ignore her anymore to try and get rid of his feelings for her, he can’t. He physically can’t. He will always love her. No matter what. He’s not whole without her. 

He just hopes she feels the same. 

“Harry?” She questions, her voice sounding croaky. 

“‘Lo love.” He’s scared of what she might say. Is she mad at him for not answering her messages and calls? Should he tell her why he did that? She he just tell her how he feels? It would be easier on the phone, but he feels like it’s not the right way to go about things. 

“I thought you fell off the face of the earth you dickhead!” She exclaims loudly with a small laugh coming from her.  He feels better at the sounds of her laugh, his worries lessened as he smiles and almost laughs with her. 

“Sorry, I just-“ he pauses, the playful mood gone by the low adverb of his voice. “I just thought it was better fo’yeh, t’give ya space. I know yeh said you needed to break it off because I needed to get better first, but I know I hurt you too. An’ ‘m so fuckin’ sorry.” His voice becomes brittle as he lets his emotions loose. 

“Harry,” she cuts in when she notices the sound of his voice. She knows his eyes are watery, his head is tossed back, staring up, trying not to cry. “There is no need to apologize. I get it. But yes, you did hurt me. But it wasn’t because of that. It’s not that you hurt me, it just hurt watching you change into someone I didn’t know, someone I didn’t want to be around because it resulted in arguing. You were-are my everything, H.” It goes silent between the two for a moment, Harry thinking about her words and letting them soak in. “Listen H, I know I also hurt you by leaving you and I need to apologize for that. I just-“ she gets cut off by a voice Harry can’t make out in the background. He faintly hears other people in the background and he wonders where she is. “I gotta go, but I’ll call you later. Hope your having fun in Japan, bub. Always knew you wanted to visit there again.” He smiles and stands from his bed, but is still wondering what else she wanted to say. 

“I’ll see you when I get back, i miss yeh and our movie nights.” She smiles as he speaks, and reminisces on some of their movie nights. “Wish yeh were here with me. I know you would love it.” He looks out the window and looks down at the bustling streets of Japan. 

“I miss you too. But I’m sure I would. Make sure to send me some photos you have took so far.” Her words send Harry into a realization. 

He hasn’t taken any photos 

“I would send yeh some, if I took any.” He heard her gasp on the other line. Already knowing she is gonna scold him for not taking photos. She took photos anywhere they went. She didn’t take an overload, just enough to capture their favorite moments for them to look back on. 

“Harry! How have you not taken any? Oh wait, I’m sorry H, I really have to go now. Bye, love you!” The line goes dead and he ponders over her last sentence for a minute before blinking out of his trance. Did she mean it in a friendly way? Or did she mean it in the way he dreams about? 

He shakes the thoughts away and sets his phone on his bed. When he stands back up to full height he stretches and yawns before crawling back into bed. 

***

Harry was writing on his bed with his guitar in his lap when he heard three delicate knocks on his door. His head raised in curiosity when the first knock sounded, his pen stopping on the paper. His hair was tied with a scrunchie in his hair. A black cardigan covering his white shirt, grey sweatpants on his lower half. 

He shuffled to the door before he unlocked it and opened it a sliver since his door didn’t have a peep hole. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in surprise. 

“Hi.” He opens the door all the way and lets the surprise guest in. “Ok so before you start asking me questions or potentially yelling at me for ruining a solo trip. I have to explain. I found out where you were from Jeff because I went to your house and you weren’t there and I was worried because all your cars were in the garage,” she takes a breath, her words coming out fast and jumbled, “but anyways, then he started telling me some things that you had been saying I just knew I had to come see you because I felt the same way and I just, I felt like I needed to see you, and now that I’m here I feel whole again and-and I love you.” Her eyes go wide and her hand covers her mouth. “Oh my god, I wasn’t supposed to say all of that. I was supposed to tell you later and now I probably-“ Harry walks up to her quickly and stops her rambling by kissing her. Both of them melt into the kiss, and his hand rest are on her back as she arches into him. 

Their lips melt into each other’s with no movements. Just letting the feeling of their lips meeting again being enough for them. Reluctantly, Harry pulls back slowly but remains close to her. His forehead rests on hers lightly, their noses bump, and their lips brush lightly. 

“I love you too.” He pulls his head back and moves his hands down further and grab under her thighs, hoisting her up so her legs wrap around her waist and her arms go around his neck as she giggles. “An’ I’ve missed yeh so damn much and love you too damn much to ever be mad at yeh fo’crashing m’trip. ‘M actually happy yer here. Could never be mad at ya, unless ya leave yeh shoes in front of the door for me to trip on.” She throws her head back with a groan and rolls her eyes before looking back at him. 

“It was one,” he narrows his eyes at her and she bites back a smile. “Ok three times! But to be fair I had just come back from the studio and was too tired to go upstairs so I kicked off my shoes and crashed on the couch. You know how exhausting the studio is!” 

“I could’ve tripped and hit m’head on the table!” His dramatics make her laugh, throwing her head back at the memory of the third time it happened. 

***

Her and Harry had just come back home from the bar. Their hands were all over each other as soon as they got in the car. Once they got home Harry made sure to tip the Uber driver before rushing into the house with a giggling y/n holding his hand, laughing at how eager he was. 

They both had a good amount to drink, but they weren’t drunk. Harry had a little more than y/n so he stumbled a bit more in his steps, and his words were a tad bit more slurred than hers.

“Bloody key! Can’t get it in the fuckin’ hole!” He grumbles as he shoves the key in the key hole. Y/n giggles beside him and she seems a smile twitching on his lips before they both break out laughing when she says ‘that’s what she said.’ 

Once the key is finally in and the door is unlocked her laughter stops when his arm goes around her waist to pull her in as his lips crash against hers. 

Harry’s downfall is that he is walking backwards and he is as clumsy as a one year old, and he is a little drunk. So when he barley trips over one of y/n’s vans it sends him falling to the ground, a squeal being let out of her mouth as he crashes on the entryway floor. Luckily y/n acted fast enough and moved her hands from his hair to the back of his head to soften the blow. 

“Fuck.” They both say at the same time, making them chuckle. She feels around his head to make sure he didn’t hit it on anything and is bleeding. 

“You ok, H?” She questions softly, he smiles as he scans over her, making sure she didn’t somehow get hurt. 

“‘M ok, how bout you, pet?” She shrugs her shoulders and presses a kiss to his jaw. 

“I’m ok, a little hungry though.” He chuckles before rolling her over so she is underneath him. 

“Who needs a bed anyways?” He questions while slipping her pants off. She rolls her eyes playfully and pulls his head down so their lips crash back together. 

***

Once Harry got y/n’s bag in the room after letting her down, he found her looking at the view from his window. 

“Pretty, innit?” He questions, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her stomach, his chin resting on her shoulder. She hums as he lays a kiss on her neck. He leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses up to her jaw before sucking on her smooth skin to leave a mark. Her hand goes to his hair and she moves her neck to give him more access. “Let me show you how much I missed you.” She nods her head and his hand trails down to her pants, unbuckling the few buttons. His fingers trace above her underwear before he goes lower and feels the patch of arousal on her underwear. 

“S’ this all fo’ me, hmm princess?” She whimpers at his words and tugs on his hair more when he leaves another mark on her. 

“Missed you so much.” She breathes out when he finally gives her what she wants. She moans when his fingers hit her spot. 

“Missed you too,” he pulls his fingers out and spins her around with his arm that was still on her waist. “S’much.” 

The rest of the night is spent underneath the sheets. They talk about everything, from how writing is going for both of them, what Harry has done in Japan, etc.  She laid on his chest and traced his butterfly tattoo, listening to the calming beats of his heart and the lull of his voice. He was tracing up and down her bare spine, finding it calming as she spoke. 

They both missed moments like this so much. Moments of pure bliss. Where it feels like it’s just the two of them in the world and time has frozen. The sound of the busy Tokyo streets below disappear as they listen to each other talk and his heartbeat rings in her ear. She swears she’s never felt so content and happy, and she swears her heart is so full it could burst. 

He feels the same way as he ponders when it goes quiet and her breathing evens out, the jet lag getting to her. He thinks about words that could describe how he feels, or just love in general. But he realizes love is indescribable. 

No matter how hard you try, how many words there are in the dictionary, none of them seem to do how it feels to be in love justice. 

So when Harry feels his eyes start to droop he carefully lays down more, kissing the top of her head that’s in the crook of his neck. He studies her face and he falls in love with her more just looking at her. The way her eyelashes are rested delicately on her cheeks. The freckles that are scattered across the bridge of her nose and the top of her cheeks. If someone would let him he would talk for hours about every little thing he loves about her. 

“I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” He whispers against her hair, leaving one final kiss before shutting off the lamp and closing his eyes. 

***

Harry wakes the next morning to kisses being peppered all over his face. His eyes blink open slowly and y/n smiles at the adorable pout his laps have formed into. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” She smiles at him, straddling his hips. He notices she has clothes on now, underwear and one of his tee shirts. 

“Morning.” He replies, his voice lower and raspier from sleeping. He yawns while rubbing his eyes and y/n smiles at him. She runs her fingers through his growing and messy hair. “What do ya want t’do today, love?” He questions, his arms wrapping around her back when she lays on his chest, and his chin resting on top of her head. 

“Whatever you want. I don’t really know my way around her so maybe you can show me some cool spots?” Her voice is soft when she speaks as she looks out the window to the bustling city below. “I have to shower first though. Don’t want to smell.” 

“You already do, petal.” He tries to hold back his laughs but he snickers when she tells him to fuck off. His hands travel lower to her bottom and he gropes her bum a few times. “We could always take a shower together? Save water an’ allat.” 

“Mmhmm, gotta help the planet right.” He smirks and slaps her bum before moving to get up. 

After they both got ready for the day, Harry putting on a white shirt and white trousers with a green cardigan, they left the hotel and started exploring. Harry took her to his usual places, her favorite being the cafe. She fell in love with the walls filled with vinyls and she loved the food and drinks there more. Her and Harry ended up writing for an hour or two in the small cafe before leaving. 

After they left Harry took her to the place he had been recording music. He was booked in for a few hours and she didn’t mind sitting and watching. She loved going to the studios and he loved when she came with him. She gave him good input and helped him figure out lyrics and runs. 

But how is he supposed to tell her his whole album is about her? 

It’s about 75% done, once he gets back to LA he should almost be done before he goes back to London. 

She made sure to take some pictures of him for memories. Her mom always made her take many photos as a kid that she hated taking, but she loves looking back on them. She has about four photo books filled with pictures from her whole life. Harry often likes to whip out the baby book when his friends come over so he can show him. Saying ‘look how she cute is,’ and before they go to bed he tells her his dreams of having a few kids with her and getting married. She often daydreams of those days. 

Daydreams about how it would feel walking down the aisle and seeing Harry at the end, watching and waiting for her before they finally tie the knot. She wonders what their kids would look like, probably getting Harry’s eyes with a hint of hers in them, hoping they get his curly brown hair. Would they want to sing too? Or would they rather play a sport, paint, or even be the next president? 

“Love?” She snaps out of her trance and looks up from her phone to see Harry smiling down at her. “Watcha thinkin’ about?” He questions, squatting down and resting his arms on her legs. 

“You.” She smiles as a light blush forms on her face and Harry chuckles at her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Did you finish?” She questions, and Harry nods.

“Yeah actually, just had to do some background vocals.” She smiles brightly at him and clasps her hands in front of her chest in excitement. 

“I’m so excited to hear it! I already know it’s gonna be great! But I think I might wait to hear it, so don’t show me it yet!” He chuckles at her and shakes his head, helping her stand.

“Whatever yeh say doll.” He takes her around a few more places. She meets his friends and they all quickly get to know each other, y/n getting on with them well. They make dinner plans and Harry takes y/n to a bike rental shop so he can show her more before they have dinner. 

They ride bikes around, the cool breeze cools them off as they go down a hill and y/n sticks her feet out, laughing at how fast she is going.

“Look H,” she cheers, getting closer to him. He turns his head and smiles as he shakes her head at her. “slow poke.” She sticks her tongue out at him playfully and he scoffs, speeding up some before sticking his legs out. But he wobbles a little bit so he quickly sticks his feet back on the petal and she laughs at him making him shake his head.

“”S not funny.” He tells her while laughing at himself because of her.

“It’s so funny H, that’s why you are laughing too!” He rolls his eyes and walks up to her after they put their bikes on the rack. His arms wrap around her and she moves hers to go around his neck and she messes with his curls. He pouts at her and she tries to stop her laughs, shaking her head. “You’re right, “s not funny. But it is funny that you have the balance and are as clumsy as a one year old.”

The evening finishes and they say their goodbyes to the group before walking back to the hotel. Their hands are intertwined and they sway them back and forth as they walk. She points out some things here and there, and she tells Harry about some new music when he asks. 

When they get back to the hotel y/n crashes on the bed as soon as she gets in, letting out a groan. 

“H,” Harry hums and looks up at her for a second as he takes his shoes off. “I love you.” He smiles to himself and walks over to her, taking her shoes off for her. 

“I love you too, s’much.” He massages her feet making her groan in satisfaction. “Are you too tired for a bath?” He questions making her head pop up. 

“‘M never too tired for a bath! That sounds so nice right now, this jet lag is still kicking my butt.” She sits up and presses a kiss to his lips when she sees him pucker them. 

“I’ll go start it, I even have bubble bath soap that smells like vanilla, isn’t that cool?!” He gets excited when he tells her about the soap, and she smiles at his excitement. 

Once the bath is done and the bottle of wine is open they get into the tub. She gets in in front of him so her back is resting against her chest. The bubbles are almost spilling out but when she looks at Harry she seems him smiling against his wine glass as he picks up some bubbles. 

“Harry?” She questions after a few minutes of silence, the only thing being heard is music coming from Harry’s phone. “I wasn’t dating anyone when we were on a break. I didn’t do anything with anyone. And I-I know your thought I was dating Austin. But he’s just my producer. I couldn’t do that to you, and plus, he’s not into girls anyways.” Harry feels better at her words, but he is still confused why she brought it up. She nervously fiddles with his fingers since his rings aren’t on. “I also couldn’t to myself, because the only person I want is you. It's always been you, H. And I know that we weren’t together for a few months, but my feelings never changed, and I still love you as much and more as I did the first time I met you.” She turns around after putting her wine glass down on the side of the tub, his hands go to her hips as she moves to straddle him. She messes with his necklace before he puts his thumb under her chin to make her look at him. 

“‘M sorry I was such a dick to yeh about him. I let my jealousy get to me. So ‘m sorry for being a prick. But my feelings never changed either love. You’re it for me, y/n. You’re m’ best friend, m’lover, and you are insanely talented,” He presses a kiss to her lips, “an’ smart,” another kiss, “an beautiful,” another one, “you are compassionate, you are witty, and sarcastic, and so much more to me. You are my world, pet.” She blinks her tears away and awwes.

“That was incredibly cheesy but so sweet, H.” She chuckles, Harry wiping a stray tear from her cheek. He moves his arms around her back to pull her in closer, but before he kisses her they both whisper “I love you” at the same time making them breathlessly laugh. “We always do that.” He hums in agreement before finally pressing his lips to hers. When he pulls back he looks at her with a nervous gaze.

“Do you still think about our future a lot?” He questions quietly while scanning her face.

“All the time, why?” He smiles at her answer and shrugs.

“Cuz I do the same. Can’t wait to put a ring on your pretty finger, then see you walk down the aisle, then call you Mrs.Styles,if that’s what you want, and our honeymoon will be wherever you want. Then maybe a year later we can start trying for kids so I can have mini you’s running around the house.” He has a smile on his lips when he talks, envisioning his future with his love.

“We have to get a dog too, and maybe even a cat. I would take your last name, it is quite a cool name.” Harry chuckles and kisses her cheek before saying her name and his last one, saying it has quite a ring to it.’ She agrees then continues their conversation. 

“We could move to Manchester or London even, I think I would like to settle down there. Be closer to your mom, and I’ve always loved London ever since I was little I wanted to live there.” Harry is surprised by her words. 

“You would really want to settle down in London?” He questions, just to make sure, and she nods. “What about your parents? Or your friends in California?” He knows how hard it is to move away from all of his family and friends, and he knows she had to move away from her parents for her music career, but they only lived a few states away. Not on a whole other continent. 

“My mom has been talking bout moving to London actually. She’s always wanted to live there . It’s one of the main reasons I started to love London. Plus, it’s not like we won’t be there often or I don’t have a house in Malibu, and you have yours. I could sell mine and that’d be the end of that. I’ll still see my friends there. But I also have friends in London.” She's confident in her words, sounding like she has thought about it a few times and that makes Harry smile. 

“It’s up to you, love. I’ll be happy wherever.” She smiles at him and then she suddenly remembers something.

“Let me show you the pictures!” She says excitedly,reaching for her phone. She unlocks it and they look through the photos picking their favorite ones and Harry is happy she captured these moments and now he wants to take more photos, but he would never tell her that.

Once the water went cold and they had gone to bed they repeated what they did the next day, and both of them decided to stay for two more weeks, not wanting to leave what bubble they are in. 

#goldenncherrybombb #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfics #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshots #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #bestfriend!h #bestfriend!harry #to be so lonely

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #ocean eyes

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Rock The Boat | JJ x Reader

Part I

summary: After spending some time with JJ Maybank, you realize the two of you will never get along. 

tw: drinking & alcohol, mentions of throwing up, just some good ole Pogue verus Kook tension 

a/n: now that im done with finals, i finally had time to start a JJ series so here it is :) i live for some good Kook verus Pogue animosity...that might turn into something more...!!!! part 2 will be up soon-ish. hope y’all enjoy this!!!!! & request are always open!!!

word count: 1.8k words

-------------------------------------------------

The first time you ever spoke to JJ Maybank you were throughly drunk. In fact, you don’t have any memory of the night. It was your Kook friends who filled you in on what happened at the party over brunch the next morning.  

School had gotten out a few days ago and your parents were out of town which meant you had a whole lot of freedom that you fully planning on take advantage of. 

You had spent the majority of the party dancing with your friends, the music good and the company was tolerable so you were content. You cup never seemed to be empty but then again, you weren’t worried really about counting the number of drinks you had. You were young and it was summer. 

Your friends were getting anxious to leave and head to the after-party Topper was throwing when you laid eyes on JJ. You stopped dead in your tracks and dropped your drink in the sand. 

“Ew,” your friend screamed. “(y/n) you just dropped your beer all over my scandals. Gross! ” 

“Who is that?” You asked, pointing in the boy’s direction. 

“I don’t know. I think his name is JJ. He mows my parent’s lawn sometimes. Why do you care? He’s a Pogue.” 

“Can we leave now? Pleaseeee,” another one of your Kook friends begged. 

You held up a single finger indicating that you needed just one more moment before you would be ready to go.

The alcohol in your blood was enough liquid courage for you to march over to JJ. Unfortunately, your heart and your stomach decided they weren’t on the same page and before you could introduce yourself, all that alcohol made an appearance. You threw up right on his shoes. 

“What the fuck!” He yelled at you, jumping back to avoid getting hit with anymore puke.

You looked up at him, thoroughly embarrassed. “I-I have to go,” you said, then stumbled back to your friends who were laughing their asses off at what had just occurred. “

Just get me out of here,” you begged and they did. 

...

Since you lived on Figure Eight and JJ was a Pogue, you figured your chances that you woud run into him again were very slim. You hadn’t noticed him in all the years that you have lived on the Outer Banks and you were praying that streak would continue. Barfing on a boy isn’t exactly the best way to get his attention. 

The door bell rang causing you to look up from the online shopping spree you were currently deep into. 

“I’m coming,” you called out, getting up from the kitchen table and walking to the front door. 

You opened the door and your eyes became huge when you saw that it was in fact JJ Maybank who was ringing your doorbell. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. 

“Uh,” he said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I was just finishing up some repairs on your parent’ boat. They usually leave my pay out here...”

“Oh, yeah. There’s out of town.” You glanced at the table sitting next to the door and saw an envelope marched Boat Repairs. “Here,” you said, handing it to him. 

“Thanks. It’s good to see you, lightweight.” 

“I...” you started. He raised his eyebrows daring you to challenge what he just said. “I’m not a lightweight. I wasn’t even really that drunk.” 

“You  threw up on my shoes.” He said very matter of factly. 

You felt your checks flush red in embarrassment which made you slightly pissed. 

“Whatever. But I’m not a lightweight, just so you know.” You felt suddenly defensive of your drinking abilities and wanted this conversation to be over as soon as humanely possible. 

“See you around, lightweight.” JJ said before bounding down your porch stairs. 

“Asshole,” you whispered just loud enough for him to hear, no longer feeling so charmed by him. 

“Bye, princess.” He yelled back. 

...

The summer was passing uneventfully. You only saw JJ whenever you and your Kook friends ventured out to the boneyard for parties. Even then you clung to your friend’s side and were careful to put a wide distance between you and him. 

It had been raining for the past week but the sun was starting to peak out from behind the clouds and you were dying to get outside. You picked up your phone to call Kiara, knowing she was the only one of you friends who would want to surf with you. 

You two had met on the beach one day after you had massively wiped out from attempting to ride wave you had no business trying t surf. You had only picked up surfing recently and were much of an amateur then you had cared to admit. She rushed over to as you were coughing up salt water on the shore and ythe two of you clicked almost immediately. You hung out less often you wished but she was really more Pogue than Kook anyway so surfing was your two’s main activity. 

“Hey!” she said, answering the phone

“Hey,” you replied. “Come surf with me?” 

“Shit, I’m sorry (y/n). I promised the boys I would come see them tonight since my parents have refused to let me out because of this rain.” 

“Oh,” you said, disappointed. 

“You could come with me.” She offered.  

“Really?” You ask, not quite sure how genuine her offer to go hang out with the Pogues. 

“Yeah, I’d be cool. I’ll...uh...pick you up in 10 ten.” She said and hung up the phone. 

You hadn’t ever really spent much time with any Pogues. Other than the few times they’d had their tongues in your mouth but you didn’t really think that counted. 

“Shit,” you muttered, suddenly realizing that JJ was in fact, one of the boys that you had just agreed to spend your afternoon with. This was bound to be interesting. 

...

True to her word, Kie pulled up to your house tens minutes later and laid on the horn. You slipped the novel you were reading into your bag and ran outside to greet her. 

“I’m here. I’m here,” you said, jumping into the front seat of her car. 

Kie pulled out of your driveway and the two of you made you way to the chateau. 

Kie hopped out of the car and walked into the chateau with easy but you couldn’t help feel a little out of place. This was Pogue territory and it felt wrong for you to be here. 

“C’mon,” Kie said as she held open the front door and waved you inside. 

Kie pointed a boy who currently perched on the kitchen counter, “That’s Pope.” He offered you a small smile and a wave. “John B’s down at the boat.” Then she motioned to the blonde boy flopped on the couch. “And that’s-” 

JJ cut her off, “We’ve met.” 

“Okayyyy,” Kie says a little suspiciously but reached down to take the blunt JJ was playing with instead of asking any further questions. 

“Why is a Kook here?” JJ ask his voice laid with a touch of annoyance. 

“I was trying to surf with Kie but unfortunately you were monopolizing her time so now I’m here,” you answered him, ignoring the face that he was really asking Kie in the first place.  

Pope hopped off the counter and headed to the front door. “Can we go already?” He asked before walking out it. 

“Yes, sir,” JJ says, jumping up his spot on the couch. “Comin’ lightweight?” He looked at you with raised eyebrows. 

“I have a name, you know. You could use it.” You shot back. 

“But that would be no fun, darlin’,” JJ replied with horrible fake southern accent. 

You cross your arms in front of you chest and scowled at him. 

Kie slapped him on the back of his head. “Leave (y/n) alone JJ.” 

He threw his hands in surrender. “Wasn’t me, mamma.” 

Kie rolls her eyes at him and grabbed your hand, leading you to the dock. “Ignore him. He’s an idiot.” 

You look back at JJ and say with a straight face, “I see that.” 

...

Being on the boats with the boys was nice. Well, being on the boat with John B and Pope was nice at least. You could see why Kie would rather spent her days with them than any of the guys from Figure Eight. 

You were successfully ignoring JJ and he didn’t seem to have further interest in annyoing you. You could tell another conversation with him might end nasty so you stayed as far away  as you could considering how small the HMS POGUE was. 

You and Kie were spread out on the bow soaking up the summer sun. Kie pulled her headphones out of her ears and declared that she wanted to swim She pulled her t-shirt off and jumped into the water with John B and Pope following quickly behind. You stood up, squinting at them in the water. 

“Get in!” Kie called to you. 

You held up the book you head been reading as to say, I’m good. She shrugged accepting you answer. 

“Really? You’re not getting in?” JJ asked you from across the boat. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said, dryly. You studied his face for a moment, looking for a sign of emotion but found none. 

You turned back to watch Kie and the boys in the water when suddenly you were being pushed off the bow of the boat and into your water. Your book flew out of hand and by some graces of God landed in the boat. 

You came up, hacking up waterr,to see JJ standing over you with a devilish grin on his face. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” 

“How’s the water?” He smirked at you. 

“You’re a dick,” you snapped at him, swimming over to climb back in the boat. 

“You gotta admit (y/n), it was kind of funny.” John B said from the water. 

Kie reached over and smacked his arm. “Shut up John B.”

“C’mon Kook,” JJ said once you were back on the boat. “Can’t you take a joke or do they not teach you that on your side of the island?” 

You wanted to slap the stupid grin off JJ’s face but instead you just smiled your best fake smile at him. “I can take a joke. Your’s just wasn’t funny.”

You wrapped yourself in your towel, curled up into ball, and officially decided you never wanted to be associated with JJ Maybank. Or ever be friends with him, much less anything more.

...

“You should come hang out with me and the boys again sometime.” Kie offered when she dropped you off later that night.

You gave her a tight smile, “I’ll think about it.” Fully aware that even if JJ was the very last person left on plant earth, you had no intentions of ever going near him again. Your drunk self must have been really far gone to have wanted that boy because he was the worst kind of news and now that you knew it, you were staying far away. For good.

#outer banks #netflix outer banks #obx netflix #obx #jj #jj outer banks #jj maybank #obx jj maybank #obx jj #jj x reader #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks series #obx fanfic

[oh-theatre]

Consistent

A/n: HI HEY I WROTE FOR THE INTRUALITY BFFS AU I HOPE YOU ENJOY! Uh basically just a few things from across the au, its probs confusing so ask me questions :DD and ill answer. But ye! Let me know if you want more okay BYE IM SORRY ITS BAD ENJOY

Words: 1860

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, therapy mention

Pairings: Logicality, Demus, possible prinxiety

Summary: Just some moments from across the Intruality bffs au!

“Elevate a little higher!” Remus sings, Patton chuckles but nudges him to quiet as weird looks glance their way. Apologizing with his eyes he continues working away, Remus whispers next to him, bobbing his head to the music. “Throw a party in the-” 

“Could you not?” A voice from across the room begs, a smirk hidden by a bite from Remus. Pattons blush quickly appears as he pops his head out from behind his friend. “Oh! Patton” Logan notices, both sharing a rosy tint to their cheeks.

“Just get married” Remus mumbles, pretending to focus on his math. Patton coughs, turning back to his computer, Logan scratches the back of his neck, patting away the sweat with his handkerchief. Roman bites back his own laugh but says nothing. “Play ‘Frozen two’, I wanna listen!” Remus pleads, a sweet affection as his eyes push forward.

“Its your phone and airpods?” Patton hands him the device, a giddy shuffle as Remus starts the playlist. Both instantly feel more triumphant as they continue their work. “Show yourself!” They sing together, fits of laughter as they dance. Logan once more goes to shush the pair but finds himself endeared with the boy. They had come to expect these antics, when all six had been put into the same study hall they knew chaos would ensue. Dee looked on, watching Remus butcher every last note as his own music blasted in his ears. 

“Hey, broadway!” Virgil lashes, Remus turns, an innocent perk to his ears. “Maybe shut up so Dee and I can focus?” He spits, Remus obliges but only after he sticks out his tongue. Winking slyly at Dee, the more quiet. “God, hes worse than his brother” Virgil mutters, erasing roughly at the problem he had failed to do. 

“Its fun V” Dee admits, his own foot matching the rhythm of his music. “Plus lets be honest, its Friday, no one is actually working” He continues his silly doodles across his homework, knowing he can finish it in two minutes. Virgil huffs but keeps quiet, the distraction too much. 

“Be right back” Patton whispers, taking his laptop towards where Logan and Roman sit discussing their psychology classwork. “Can i?” He wonders, Logan hiding his excitement nods. “I had a quick question about our recipe?” Patton sits, Logan listens. “I was wondering if you wanted to tak-” He pauses as the music in his ear shifts. 

‘I just had sex!’ Rings out loud, Patton's eyes grow wide quickly turning to Remus. His idle face as he conceals his giggles looking at his work. Logan tilts his head but Patton simply removes the device, recovering from his fright.

“Your question?” Logan repeats, Roman mimics his brother with his own dancing. 

“I was thinking we could maybe take it a step further?” Patton proposes, knowing how anxious Logan was about his culinary abilities. “A pastry tree, we start with bigger ones on the bottom and slowly work our way up! So we can experiment and give the judges different options” He finishes, the sweetest of smiles.  Logan wants to argue, find a problem but his plan worked and worked well for their grades. 

“We can try” He decides, a quick grin and Patton leaves once more. Silent punishment to Remus when he returns to his seat. The class continues and ends fast, they all part to lunch, gathering in their separate areas.  

~~~

“You good lego?” Roman asks as he unpacks their chairs from the locker, Logan snaps back from his distant stares into the bleak plaster. He nods taking his seat, his eyes setting upon a very hyper Remus and Patton as they prepare for their meal. “Hey Virge” Roman greets, Virgil and Dee join them, a quadrant of four chairs forms. As usual…

“What's up with nerd central?” Virgil asks, snapping in front Logans face. He shakes his head returning once more. Virgil follows his gaze however, biting back a knowing smile, Patton already sunk into his book as Remus lays his feet across the boys lap. “Ya know, I heard that they were dating” He puts out, Logan snaps his eyes, fear ridden.

“Hah! Please, Remus and Pat?” Roman laughs, sitting down with a shake. “Thats hilarious, Remus and Patton are best friends and anyway Remus has a huge crush on Dee” He adds, munching into his sandwich. Dee rolls his eyes, a soft kick to Romans knee. 

“I know, just wanted to see what glasses over here would say” Virgil teases

“I assure you, I could care less about Pattons romantic status” Logan adjusts his glasses, sitting neatly eating his food. Virgil and Dee share a glance but leave it be. “We should invite them to sit with us, they are our friends” He offers, no qualms could be made. They did consider the pair friends...so what was the problem? 

“Sup losers” Ethan kicks his chair into the circle, forcing his way between Roman and Dee. 

Ah right…

Ethan

~~~

“Easy Remus!” Patton urges watching his friend balance atop the table trying to hang the valentines decorations. The door opens, Logan accompanied by Roman, Dee and Virgil strut in. “Remus get down” Patton asks, Roman chuckles, a sweet squeeze to Patton as the group passes them. “Tell your brother hes being an unsafe” 

“Just say idiot” Roman corrects, Pattons expression changes as does Remus’s. He removes himself from the table, returning to his spot behind the desk in the library. Roman sighs, dragged away by Virgil. Patton sits next to his friend, softly kicking his friends chair.

“You're not an idiot” He assures, Remus nods, burying his head in his arms. “Ro’s your brother, its his job to make fun of you” Patton comments, Remus huffs wishing the insults wouldn't go so far. “Come on rum-rum” He hums, Remus giggles, frustrated with his resilience. “Come help me please and then we can go home, watch a movie, make snacks, build a fort” He says, laying his arms and head on Remus’s back. The idea sounds wonderful, but hes not sure hes up to it...just yet. “Oh and dont forget we have therapy today” Patton reminds, Remus groans. He knows its helpful and he gets to do it with his best friend but the idea terrifies him. “I know you dont want to...but its going to help” Patton encourages

“Fine, on one condition” Remus decides, annoyed with his friends walking eggshells around each other. Patton faces him, furrowing his brows in question. “You have to go up to Logan right now, kiss him and then ask him to be your valentine” Remus dares, Patton squeaks almost knocking over the books behind him. 

“What!” Patton exclaims “You cant be serious! Youre not actually leveraging therapy over my valentines right now” 

“Do it or you'll be flying solo” Remus leans forward, Pattons breath seizes as he swallows looking towards the said target. “Hmm” He sighs, wistfully looking away. Patton shuts his eyes tight but snaps.

“Fine” He barely whispers, Remus cheers pinning delighted in his chair. 

“Have fun!” Remus grins watching Patton walk away, so much hesitance to him. Patton wrings his hands as he approaches the group, Logan spots him a formal smile to the boy. He stands to meet Patton halfway, Patton takes a deep breath. 

“Pat-” No time, he takes Logans tie, only tugging softly as he pulls the boy into a kiss. The absolute silence that falls over the room save for Remus’s disbelief, is frozen. Pattons heart pounds until suddenly Logans melting right into the kiss. 

And its perfect, its absolutely everything Patton had dreamed of

He pulls away in a frantic panic, forgetting what he was doing. Logan clears his throat, dusting himself off. Neither dared to move or speak, they simply stared in delighted confusion.

“Will you be my valentines?” Patton remembers the deal, Remus pounds hard on the desk through his exasperated laughter. “Im so sorry” He rushes, ready to turn away in his shame, feeling a soft hand take his. “Im sorry im not thinking straight” Pattons fear drips out of him, feeling the world grow silent with the simple pound of his breath.

“Ever! He's not straight!” Remus calls out, shushed by Dee. 

“I would love to be your valentine” Logan replies, a soft tone just for them. Roman and Dee erupt into cheers, Virgil nods satisfied as Remus waste no time running into his friend. Embracing the petrified boy, Patton still believes he's dreaming as Remus hugs him. “And you don't have to make a deal, I would have done it regardless” Logan adds, Remus falls to the floor much to happy.

“You told him!” Patton cries, Remus can barely nod. 

“He just texted me” Logan shows, Patton's face surely matched that of a tomato. “I'm glad however, it was taking too long” Logans coy expression only set Patton's heart a flutter.

“Motherfucker!” Remus stands, taking Patton from behind, the teens feeling safe in one anothers hold. 

“Yes good point” Patton murmurs, Logan chuckles. One more quick peck to Pattons cheek before he returns to his friends. “I'm gonna faint”

“Do it coward, you wont” Remus dares, still nuzzling into Patton's shoulder. Patton locks eyes with Dee, tuning out the silly teases from Remus. 

“Dee would you like to be Remus’s valentine?” Patton inquires, Remus falls silent. “Sucks to suck” He jokes, patting Remus as he returns to his position. Dee stands, ignoring the eyes that now watch him. Remus stutters failing to connect a coherent sentence. A hushed conversation and the pair meet in the hallway. Returning moments later, now words spoken but their interlaced fingers said enough. 

Suffice to say, Patton and Remus had a very good first session.

~~~

“One cold brew for you” Remus presents as Patton approaches the locker, Logan accompanying him in the early morning. He takes it, the most grateful look upon his face, Logan yawns. “Goodest of the morns Logan” Remus smiles, Logan nods through his exhaustion

“Coffee starlight?” Patton offers, Logan moans in happiness taking the caffeinated drink. Remus laughs sitting comfortably in his chair, kicking Patton in a rhythm. The boy doesnt mind, hes used to the fidgets and it didnt hurt. 

“Pickles did you do the homework?” Remus questions scrolling through his computer, Patton sets up his chair, taking his coffee from Logan. He gestures towards his own locker, Patton nods a quick kiss goodbye.

“Gonna have to be specific” Patton says, allowing Remus to lay his feet across him. Remus shows his computer screen, Patton checks the work and nods. “You got it” He assures, Remus fist pumps, shutting it happily.  “Wheres Dee?” Patton wonders, going over his schedule for the day. 

“He had an early test so I dropped him off, but we’re having dinner later for valentines” He smiles, Patton smirks. “Happy one year by the way” Remus celebrates

“You too” They cheer their drinks, falling casually into their conversation. The pair joke and laugh through excitement for the day, cheer and the musical. Everything felt right...for now. I mean it was senior year who knows what might happen.

At Least this, was solid and consistent.

Them

Their friendship

#intruality bffs au #intruality #logicality #prinxiety #demus #logan sanders #patton Sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #write #youtube #thomas sanders

[foutbolimajine]

please, just leave me alone. ⦁ ruben loftus-cheek pt. 2

word count: 2053 ⦁ short/medium/(too damn) long

(rqst), tw [miscarriage]

For the first time in a long time (seven months to be exact), I felt hurt. Betrayed. Foolish. I was freezing cold and burning hot at the same time. I’d taken the long way to my flat, took an extra lengthy shower, and cuddled with my dog (all while crying my eyes out) and yet. The next morning and I still felt like absolute shit. The worst part of it all was Vinny. She knew how much pain I’d been in the last seven months. She was there with me all through the stages of heartbreak. I’d cried on her shoulder, on her couch, in her bed, and in her cereal on one occasion. She had stressed how he wasn’t going to be there all week and while I would never admit it out loud, it’s the only reason I told Juliette I would come to her party. 

I let out a groan before finally turning back on my phone that immediately started going off with notifications. I would pretend to be surprised, but I’m not. I’d put my phone on do not disturb and airplane mode but that didn’t stop the incessant badgering from Ruben and his family. After I left, the entirety of the Loftus-Cheek clan began mass texting/calling/FaceTiming/DMing me on literally every platform possible. I’m sure there’s a lonely message in my kik inbox from Isaac just begging me to hear out his P.O.S. brother. Or maybe a message from Ruben himself lies in my old, embarrassing email that he always teased me about when we first met. I snort at the thought of Ruben emailing [email protected]. 

The thought only kept the miniscule smile on my face for so long. I finally huff and call Lavinia, she being the LC that had absolutely wrecked my inboxes more so than the others. 

“Ayla? Ayla! I am so sorry! I swear to God I didn’t know Ruben was coming. He wasn’t even supposed to be in town. He didn’t think you’d come so he decided to surprise everyone. I promise I would never do this to you purposefully. I don’t even know what possessed him to bring her, but they’re not even friends! They both swear it and Rubes feels terrible. He cried, Ayla. Like actually bawled in our living room. He misses you so much. We all feel so bad. There was barely any time to warn you since they came literally like five minutes before us. I’m so sorry.” She picks up and doesn’t let out so much as a “Hello?” before she begins rambling. I suppose knowing that she also didn’t know makes me feel a little better. 

“H-he cried?” God, you are pathetic, woman! One tear (that you didn’t even see) and you’re ready to forgive him?

“Yes, Ayla. It was totally bizarre. Mum could barely console him.” I close my eyes and inwardly groan at how weak I am. Or rather, how weak he made me. 

“I’ll um, call him. Same number?” I mumble, even though I knew it was from the several new messages from “cheeky ❤️” sitting in my inbox as we speak. Vinny let’s out an undignified squeal that causes my dog, Ira’s ears to perk up. She apologizes at least 50 times more before finally hanging up and leaving me alone to do what I said I would. Although, there were dishes in my sink. And I needed to vacuum my lounge. And Ira’s toys were thrown all over my office. There was so much more to do than talk to my cheating ex. 

I bend down to pick Ira up and kiss his head. “Yeah, we’re entirely too busy to deal with that right now. Aren’t we, buddy?” He of course doesn’t answer, but I know he agrees with me. So I spend the next six hours doing literally any and everything to not focus on my situationship. And when the last candle had been lit, and all my emails completely cleaned out, I sat on my bed with my phone staring back at me. 

“I should read his messages first, right?” Ira continues to chew his rope on the other side of the room. “Right. Just a dog.” I sigh and finally unlock my phone. First thing first, that contact name has to go. 

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: ayla please answer my calls. please it’s not what you think it is

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: i miss you. so much

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: i’m not w sheena. it was a mistake. please babe

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: i love you ayla. please answer me

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: i know why you’re upset but please just let me explain! 

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: i remember you saying how loving and being in love were different. and you were right. i'm so in love with you ayla yanna cooper. so so so in love 

ruben loftus-cheeks for everybody: im sorry

I don’t realize I’m crying until my vision blurs and my phone screen turns wet. For seven months I’d tried to wrap my brain around what happened to us. Why me? Was I not enough? Was it because I didn’t make him a father? What did Sheena have that I didn’t? Everyday, for all those months, a thousand and one thoughts of him ran through my head and didn’t think to look both ways before crossing my mind. Sometime between my initial heartbreak and my “getting over it” I had convinced myself that Ruben didn’t love me. That he hadn’t loved me for the three and a half years we’d been together romantically, or for the two years prior that we’d just been best friends. Damn you, Ruben Loftus-Cheek. 

The phone doesn’t ring twice before it’s picked up. He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s there by the slow breathing on the other side of the line. 

“Ruben-” 

“Ayla-” 

We both let out awkward chuckles before I tell him that he can go first. “I would actually much rather do this in person...if that’s okay with you?” He asks gingerly. It wasn’t okay with me at all, actually. Not even a little bit. Who did he think he was? Of course the answer is no. 

“Uh, s-sure. I’ll text you my address. Bye.” I hang up before he can respond and immediately throw my phone. “SURE? SURE? REALLY AYLA? SURE?” I scream into my pillow, completely shocked at how much of a dumbass I really was. I take two (hundred) deep breaths while on the search to find my phone, trying to buy myself both time and a peace of mind. It had somehow wedged itself between Ira’s dog bed and my dresser, but unfortunately wasn’t broken. At least then I’d have an excuse as to why I never responded. I quickly type out my address and let the doorman know to let him up and then put my phone on the charger so I don’t touch it. 

It feels like all too soon the buzz of my doorbell sounds throughout my flat and Ira bolts out my bedroom. Ira hadn’t seen his dad in months, the last time being when Isaac had watched him for me while I traveled to America on business. I was positive their reunion would be significantly better than ours had been. With one final breath, I open the door and allow Ira to take all of Ruben’s attention while I looked at him.

It was clear he’d left immediately from his gray sweats and wrinkled white tee. He’d chosen slides to accompany his mix-matched socks, and was lacking a jacket despite the cool weather. He also hadn’t shaved, which is something I always liked. His eyes were red and puffy, something I’m sure we shared in common.  And while I hate to admit it, despite every disgruntled thing about him, my heart still beat faster in his presence.

I clear my throat and he finally looks at me. “Um, come in?” He walks past me with Ira in his arms and I nearly faint. Still found time to put on that cologne. “Do you...want something to drink? Forgive me, I didn’t exactly have enough time to pull out the charcuterie board.” He laughs at my sarcasm and shakes his head. “I’m good, thank you. Can we sit?” So we do, and the air immediately gets thicker. 

“You read my messages?” He asks, sheepishly. I nod in response, not trusting my voice enough to give him a verbal answer. “I mean it, Ayla. I am so, so in love with you. Never in this life would I ever hurt you purposefully. That night was a mistake. I was never going to let it get that far. She-” 

“I don’t want to talk about that night, Ruben. You said you wanted to talk so here we are: talking. What happened, happened. I saw it with all two of my eyes. There’s nothing much you can do to explain yourself there. I don’t care what she did; I’m not- I wasn’t in a relationship with her. I don’t know her, nor do I ever want to. She didn’t promise to love me, to be faithful to me. She wasn’t who I was sleeping next to at night. She wasn’t who I put love, energy, and time into for three and a half years. I didn’t-” I can’t help the tears that begin to fall. “I didn’t lose her baby.” Ruben tries to hold me and I push him away. “You’re not allowed to do that anymore.” 

I find the courage to look at his face and see how absolutely broken he looks. I may sound like a monster but that look on his face, it did make me feel just a bit better. It was nice to know the feeling was mutual. I struggled so much in the last year. I’d lost my baby, my boyfriend, and consequently my home. I was uprooted and I literally felt like I was walking on new legs for so long. And now, just when I was getting my shit together, he decided to come back and undo most of the work I’d done to make the broken puzzle I was, whole again. He should feel broken, because I was. 

He clears his throat and grabs my hand. “Okay, we don’t have to talk about then. Let’s talk about right now; me and you. Right now, I miss you and I love you. And I would do anything in this world to have you back. You didn’t lose the baby; we did. And in my grief I made a bad decision I wish I could take back, but I can’t. What I can promise you though, I will spend the rest of my life trying to win you back because there is no one in this world more perfect for me than you, Ayla Tanya Cooper. Plus...I miss Ira.” 

I roll my eyes and begrudgingly let the smile I was holding back show on my face. I jump as Ruben shoots out his seat and runs around the couch, whooping. “We got a smile!” He shouts, Ira running and barking closely behind him. I grab a throw pillow and cover my face. Jesus, what am I going to do with this man. He flops down beside me and sends me that killer smile. “So?” 

“I never want to see you with that woman again.” 

He doesn’t hesitate, “Done.”

I squint at him. “I mean it, Ruben.” 

“Me too. She randomly saw me and asked what plans I had last night. She invited herself, I swear. She’s gone, I promise.” 

“And we have to be friends again before anything else. You have a lot of trust to earn back.” 

His bottom lip folds in as his cheeks raise. “As long as you let me back in your life, we can work on the rest.” 

I silently pray before sighing. “Fine. Whatever, of course. You’re in.” I roll my eyes again at his excitement. This time he runs all over the room before crushing me in a hug. “Thank you, Ayla.” He whispers in my ear. “You won’t regret it.” I hum and just bask in the feeling of holding him close again.

#ruben loftus cheek #ruben loftus cheek imagine #hope yall enjoy #soccer imagines #football imagines

[lunatens]

mario kart

word count: 1937

genre: sO MUCH fluff

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader

summary: best friends to lovers through the power of mario kart

a/n: okay so if y’all haven’t noticed i’m in a bit of a skz mood recently lol and I've been feeling especially soft about hyunjin recently like ugH I love him anyways please enjoy this v fluffy thing I was so soft while writing it. hopefully it makes up for me not posting too much the last few days/next few days!! <3 also im kinda proud of this so pls give it love

song rec: fireproof - one direction

~

you: [mario kart, pizza and movie night at my house in 10'?]

you send a text to your bestfriend (and neighbour) hwang hyunjin, hoping he'll be able to make you feel better. your other friend, felix, just texted to last minute cancel your plans to go to the movies (apparently this boy he just met, changbin, is more important than you) so you find yourself annoyed and alone on this friday night. normally you'd just hang out by yourself and watch netflix or something, but you're actually in the mood to socialize tonight. you've changed out of the cute outfit you had planned into your favourite pair of sweat pants and a random hoodie you just grabbed off the floor. you're now lying sprawled on your bed staring at your phone screen and waiting for hyunjin's response, which doesn't take long.

hyunjin: [ya of course. loser buys the pizza!!]

hyunjin: [is everything ok? what happened to ur plans with felix?]

you: [don't worry about it, just come over. bring blankets!!]

you close your eyes, mentally preparing to get up from your bed. a loud knock sounds from your front door, and you groan and roll off your bed. you open the door to a smiling hyunjin, clutching an armful of blankets.

"you know, you can just come in; you don't have to knock."

"i know, but i like making you get up to open the do-is that my sweater?"

you look down to realize that it is, in fact, hyunjin's sweater.

"i guess so. well, your fault for leaving it on my floor. do you want it back? i can go change,"

"no! no, it's okay, you can wear it," he responds, slightly flustered, a subtle blush on his cheeks. you turn to head to the living room, not wanting him to see your own rosy cheeks as you fight back a smile. you and hyunjin have been best friends for as long as you can remember, but recently you've found yourself craving his presence more, longing to be around him, butterflies in your stomach going crazy at the slightest touch. it's the classic dilemma; you don't want to ruin your friendship by confessing, but at the same time it's torture to just be friends when you want so much more.

you lead hyunjin to your living room where the two of you set up your usual nest of couch cushions and blankets (hyunjin giggles to himself when he throws a pillow at you and it hits you square in the face, but it's your turn to laugh when you throw one back twice as hard, hitting his stomach with a dull thump!; you're surprised an all out war doesn't break out). you flop down, tossing him a controller as you open the game.

"my parents are gone for the weekend, so we can be as loud as we want," you mention, turning up the volume on the tv. hyunjin wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.

"not like that you idiot!" you say with a gasp, throwing another pillow at him and praying he can't see the redness of your face.

"can we pleeeeeease pick each other's characters?" he says, giving you his classic puppy dog eyes (he definitely knows they're your weakness). you narrow your eyes at him.

"fine, but ONLY if you promise you won't make me be wario again," you say as you trade off your remote. he giggles as you watch him carefully.

"waluigi isn't much better, jinnie!!" you pout, and he doubles over laughing. you choose cat peach for him as revenge (in his words, "i don't want furries in my mario kart,") and he makes a face at you, to which you simply smile angelically.

"best two of three?"

"like always," he says, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater. you internally melt at how cute he looks, intensely focused on the screen and determination in his eyes.

~

you win the first round, throwing both fists in the air in victory.

"okay i would've won if you hadn't sent that stupid blue shell at me!!" he whines.

"okay sure, you keep telling yourself that," you tease.

round two begins, and hyunjin just barely passes you at the last second.

"haha!! yesss!!"

"you're so lucky i ran into a goomba on the final lap," you say; you and hyunjin are pretty equal in skill, so you often bicker back and forth, arguing about who's the real mario kart champion (although you know you're definitely better). you start the third race, both of you determined to win; neither of you really care about having to buy the pizza, the boasting rights are prize enough. at the beginning of the third lap, hyunjin elbows you, and you gasp in shock as you watch waluigi plummet off the edge of rainbow road. as competitive as the two of you are, neither of you has ever resorted to sabotage. as you're placed back on the track, you see hyunjin smirking and your brain whirrs, trying to think of a way to prevent hyunjin from winning. a thought occurs, and pushing the nerves aside, you lean over and press a quick kiss to hyunjin's cheek. out of the corner of your eye you see him freeze, his character veering off course allowing you to surpass him and cross the finish line.

"YES! i win!!" you gloat, buzzing from the adrenaline of winning and the fact that you just kissed hyunjin. you just kissed hyunjin. the realization sets in and you look at him in shock at your own actions. he's staring back at you; normally you can easily tell what's on his mind, but in this moment you have no idea what he's thinking.

"hyunjin i-i'm so sorry, i just-"

"did you mean that?" he cuts you off.

"what?"

"or was that just a diversion tactic?" he says, voice soft and serious, contrasting the playful mood. his eyes search your face for an answer, then he breaks out in a grin.

"haha, your face is so red; i'm guessing it was more than just a way to distract me..."

"okay fine, maybe--maybe i did mean it. maybe i think you're really cute and maybe i want to be more than just best friends with you and maybe i'm kind of really in love with you. and maybe your face is just as red as mine," you blurt out.

"well maybe i'm just as in love with you as you are with me," he says, and his gaze flickers down to your lips, then back up to your eyes. you're not sure when his face got this close to yours, but you aren't complaining. for the second time tonight, you find yourself brave enough to lean in, eyes closed, to press your lips to his. the equivalent of a disney fireworks show is going off inside you as his soft lips fit perfectly against yours and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you onto him. you can't help but smile into the kiss, ecstatic and relieved that everything worked out and your days of pining and daydreaming and complaining to felix are over. you feel hyunjin's lips curl up into a smile too, and you both giggle as you pull away slightly, your hands lost in his hair and noses brushing as you look in his eyes.

"you have no idea how long i've wanted to do that," he says, pressing another kiss to your lips.

"then why didn't you" you question, playing with his hair absentmindedly.

"i thought you liked felix!! i was sitting around in my room moping all day because i thought you and felix were going on a date! i've never been so happy to get a text in my entire life," hyunjin confesses with a nervous laugh. you can't help but laugh at the situation.

"i can't believe you thought i liked felix!! i've been asking him for advice on what to do about you!"

the two of you erupt in giggles, nestled in the mess of blankets with limbs tangled around each other.

"we're so silly," hyunjin says between laughter, pulling you back towards his lips. "i can't believe i can just do this whenever i want now," he mumbles into your mouth, and you deepen the kiss, wanting to be pressed as close to him as possible after desperately wanting this for so long.

"you still have to pay for the pizza, you know," you mention in between kisses. hyunjin's head falls back as he lets out a groan.

"...i was hoping you'd forgotten about that."

"nope! i'll set up the movie while you call," you say, kissing his cheek before moving to get up. you don't make it very far before hyunjin pulls you right back into his arms, peppering your face with kisses.

"hyunjin! i have to get up!" you giggling.

"no you don't. we can just lie here forever," he says, continuing to kiss you.

"we might get hungry though," you mention, this time pulling yourself away for real (even though it's probably the hardest thing you've ever done) to toss him his phone while you pick out a movie.

~

you're curled against hyunjin's side, head on his chest, listening to his slow breathing and heartbeat more than the movie itself. the room is dark save for the glow of the tv and the streetlamps outside. there's a flash as the headlights of a car pull into the driveway.

"we're gonna have to get up to get the pizza, jinnie," you groan.

"shhh baby, no we're not," he murmurs (you ignore how your cheeks heat up at the nickname), and your front door swings open as someone enters your house.

"someone order a pizza?"

you recognize the familiar aussie accent of felix and he walks in carrying a large box, changbin following close behind. he places the box beside you and gives you a cheeky grin, flashing you a thumbs up. you blush, hiding your face in hyunjin's chest.

"ew, they're so gross and affectionate," felix pretends to puke, and changbin laughs. "lets get out of here binnie. catch ya later, y/n; don't have too much fun!" felix says with a wink.

"bye, felix!" you say, encouraging him to leave. the front door closes and felix's car pulls out of the driveway, leaving you once again alone with hyunjin.

"jinnie, how-"

"i texted felix real quick while you were picking a movie asking him to help me out, then called him but pretended i was calling the pizza place," hyunjin explains.

"you're so smart," you say, kissing his cheek in appreciation.

"well, i try my best. oh, y/n?"

"hm?"

"you look really cute in my sweater."

"i know. i hope you know you're never getting it back,"

"that's fine with me," he says tackling you in another kiss. you lie there for a while, lazily making out while the movie plays in the background, hyunjin's hands on your hips and yours in his hair.

"it's crazy how so much has changed in just one night," you say, pulling away for a second.

"mhm...although really y/n, you're still my goofy, loveable best friend. just now we get to do things like this," he says, pulling you back into the kiss.

"i love you, hyunjin," you say, breathless. you've said this to each other many times before, but this is the first time you're saying it seriously and romantically.

"i love you too, y/n," he whispers back, and you want to live in this moment forever; just you and hyunjin, the rest of the world is a blur.

#skz #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshot #stray kids drabble #stray kids imagines #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin oneshot #stray kids fanfic #hyunjin fanfic #fluff #best friend!hyunjin #friends to lovers #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #text #Mario kart #lee felix #seo changbin

[hungline]

cheetohead works wonders

pairings: junhao, side meanie  genre: fluff, uni au, rated t  warnings: none  words: 2930 

summary: It’s all Mingyu’s fault that Junhui ends up with Minghao’s number, but Minghao doesn’t really seem to mind much when Mingyu bakes him a cake and Wonwoo gives him money for food. His birthday is alright in the end. 

“I swear to god if you order a PSL, I’m going to castrate you,” Minghao mutters under his breath, half hoping the customer in front of him can’t hear him.

But it’s just Minghao’s extraordinary luck that he does.

“I’m sorry,” the customer replies, their voice a deep, smooth tenor Minghao is pretty sure he’s heard before. “I actually hate pumpkin spice everything, so you’re good.”

Minghao looks up and is immediately floored by how pretty Wen Junhui is up close. He’s half sure his mouth open in shock or something close to it and he hastens to come up with a reply before Junhui thinks he’s weird on top of being murderous.

“Good. Me too,” Minghao manages, sending a death glare over his shoulder when Mingyu snickers at his lame attempt at making normal conversation. “Um, so, what would you like then?”

Junhui purses his lips together in thought as he studies the menu over Minghao's head and Minghao has to tear his gaze away from Junhui's lips before his sleep-deprived brain jumps off the deep end and dooms him to eternal embarrassment. Junhui tuts a soft noise and Minghao meets his gaze, surprised to see Junhui sporting an amused smile.

"I'll just have a caramel macchiato," he murmurs, then very subtly winks. "And your number."

"Sure, that'll beーWait, what?" Minghao sputters, shock clear on his face.

Junhui smiles and shakes his head. "Nevermind, the coffee will do fine by itself."

"Iー" Minghao tries for words and when he finds he can't, he merely nods and continues to ring up Junhui's order.

Thankfully, Minghao doesn't have to tell him his total because Junhui can clearly see it on the cash register and hands over the money, smiling kindly at Minghao when he receives his change. Minghao gulps down the nervous wave of word vomit lodged in his throat and focuses on greeting the only other customer in line. He plasters on a fake smile and tries to be cheerful while taking the order, his expression not even flickering when they finally decide on a pumpkin spice latte.

Minghao grits his teeth and tells them their total, before turning to help Mingyu with the drinks. Generally, Jeonghan would be in charge of this or at least overseeing them as they work, but their shift manager will often be found sleeping in the back room whenever he's present and Minghao has gotten so used to it, he doesn't even question why Jeonghan still works here in the first place. Mingyu is all smiles and tries to prod at Minghao's buttons but his shift will be over soon and the fact he had to come in to cover for Jihoon being sick on his birthday is just shitty all around so absolutely nothing Mingyu could say or do would make today worse than it already is.

So it's with great surprise when Minghao finally returns back to his dorm and collapses on his bed, ignoring Wonwoo who's staring at him with concern from over the top of his latest sci-fi novel, and his phone chimes with a text message from a number he doesn't recognize.

hey, i'm glad you changed your mind

Minghao blinks when he realizes that the text is in Mandarin, and as far as Minghao knows, his mom hasn't changed her number so who could this possibly be?

sorry i think you have the wrong number

"Hey, hyung, this random number just texted me. Do you know who it might be?" Minghao tries to not let his nerves bleed into his voice, but Wonwoo wouldn't judge him for being a little freaked out over someone he doesn't know texting him.

"What's the number? I'll see if it pops up in my contacts," Wonwoo murmurs, phone in hand now.

Minghao doubts that it will, considering that texting gives Wonwoo anxiety sometimes and the person is Chinese, but it's a Seoul number so he recites the digits anyway and freezes when another text comes in.

oh, is this not the cute barista from starbucks then?

Minghao groans and buries his face into his pillow. He's going to murder Mingyu the next time he sees him.

"Oh," Wonwoo says from his side of the room. "That's Jun's number. He's my chem partner. I didn't know you knew him."

"I don't," Minghao grumbles, pushing himself into a sitting position as he ponders over a reply to the new text. "I think your boyfriend gave him my number."

Wonwoo doesn't stutter when he replies, but the blush spreading across his face is easy to see. "Mingyu is not my boyfriend."

"Not yet," Minghao adds on before looking down at his phone again. "Anyway, thanks for your help, hyung."

"Yeah. Sure thing," Wonwoo mutters, furiously tapping something into his phone before dropping it on his bed and returning to his novel again.

youre going to have to be a little more specific than that

Minghao leaves his phone on his pillow and drags his backpack onto his bed, rifling through it until he's found his math homework. He forgets about the weird texts from one of the most handsome guys on campus and throws himself into statistics. He's gotten through three problems when his phone chimes again.

um, kinda short, sorta? pretty eyes and brown hair.

Minghao rolls his eyes and is about to respond when another text comes in.

oh! he threatened to castrate me if i ordered a psl

Minghao groans and hastens to reply before any more can be said.

ok yeah im him  howd you know to text me in mandarin tho

Statistics isn't so interesting anymore, not that it ever really was, to be honest. Minghao's a good student though so he always finds a way to focus on homework, no matter how boring the subject. This however, warrants a great excuse to put off his math homework for later.

you said to, on the cup [photo]

Minghao clicks on the photo and groans aloud when he recognizes Mingyu's handwriting. It isn't as shitty as Wonwoo's (honestly nobody's handwriting is as ineligible as Wonwoo's), but Mingyu's isn't so pretty either. Wonwoo looks up from his book to pin Minghao with a questioning gaze but returns to his novel when Minghao shakes his head and frowns down at his phone.

did my shitty cheetohead coworker hand you the drink

The response is instant and Minghao pales when he realizes that Junhui must be waiting for him to reply.

yeah

Another groan is let out into the air by Minghao and Wonwoo stares at him again, his gaze conveying do you want to talk about it or will you shut up? 

hey im sorry i never actually wrote that

This entire thing is embarrassing and Minghao wishes he hadn't been guilted by Jihoon to cover his shift on his birthday of all days. Wonwoo stands up from his bed and disappears into their kitchen, which prompts Minghao to follow him because Wonwoo can't cook for jack shit and shouldn't ever be trusted to be alone in a kitchen, no matter how small or inadequate the kitchen is.

Minghao makes them sandwiches and Wonwoo digs out a bag of shrimp chips that went stale last week and they eat quietly before returning to their beds.

"Hey, you'll be okay for an hour or two right? I have to head out to pick something up from Mingyu's," Wonwoo asks, one arm already in his jacket.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. No worries, hyung," Minghao mumbles, his mind back on his statistics homework again.

"'Kay. Be back soon, try and clean the place up a little because I'm pretty sure I'll come back with Mingyu," Wonwoo murmurs, an apologetic smile on his lips as he digs his wallet out and drops a few bills onto Minghao's lap. "Here. In case you want pizza or takeout while I'm gone."

"Bye, hyung. Text me when you're on your way back."

Wonwoo leaves shortly after that and Minghao is left alone in their dorm with no company except his math homework and his phone that just chimed with another message again.

oh, well this is awkward i'm sorry for bothering you then

Minghao is pretty sure he's going to regret this but he sighs and rolls his eyes, his text already halfway ready to send.

nah its fine i was considering putting my number on your cup anyway i guess mingyu just beat me to it really

Junhui's next response takes a while, but Minghao considers it worth it when he reads it and bursts into loud laughter.

mingyu is cheetohead, right?

So maybe today hasn't been that bad, but still, Minghao kind of wishes he was with his mom right now so she could bake him a cake and serve his favorite ice cream with it as they watch horror movies and laugh at how bad they are. Then they'd go out for actual dinner at that Chinese restaurant he adores for no real apparent reason other than that their food is almost as good as his grandma's. When they'd get back home, it'd be to more cake and ice cream and maybe another horrible horror movie before they go off to bed.

mingyu is cheetohead yes

Minghao decides to order takeout from the Chinese place nearby who's noodles are always too greasy but it's cheap and Minghao wants Chinese food, damn it. After he's done ordering, he does some more of his statistics homework and cleans up a little, which translates into he cries over stats and doesn't clean for shit while he waits for food.

guess i'll have to thank cheetohead next time i see him, which is, wouldn't you know it, right now!

It takes Minghao a minute to realize what Junhui just said, but by then his food is here and he hastens to open the door. Yixing smiles at him and Minghao hands over all the bills Wonwoo gave him, not caring that the tip is way more than what's expected. Wonwoo does the same thing whenever he orders coffee while Mingyu is working so if Minghao wants to generously tip the cute takeout guy, he'll do just that.

why are you with cheetohead right now

Minghao doesn't have a moment to rest because as soon as his text to Junhui has sent, Wonwoo has texted him.

Hey, I'm on my way back. Did you order food?

hao: yeah, chinese takeout

wonu: Did you tip Yixing again?

hao: you tip cheetohead all the time

wonu: Mingyu needs the money. Anyway, I hope you ordered enough for four.

hao: youre in luck cause i definitely did not

wonu: I'll buy some more on my way back then. See you soon. Please, clean up the place a little.

hao: see you

Minghao almost bowls over with laughter when he realizes that Wonwoo immediately knew who he meant when he called Mingyu cheetohead. His phone chimes again and luckily, it's a text from Junhui this time.

wonwoo kinda coerced me into coming with him to cheetohead's place and i guess we're heading back to yours now??

cute barista: i guess ill see you soon then

Well shit, Minghao thinks.

Cleaning up doesn't take much time, but Minghao shoves his takeout into the microwave anyway to keep it semi-warm as he sweeps the dorm and pushes all of Wonwoo's things onto his side of the room. He considers mopping, but it's only Mingyu...and Junhui so yeah, he probably should mop, but then he remembers Seungcheol broke their mop last month and still hasn't gotten them a new one so he hopes that wet wipes will do for now.

He picks up a few of Wonwoo's novels in the kitchen and bathroom and puts them on top of the elder's desk. He moves back to his own bed and packs up his math homework for later. He's just closed the zipper on his backpack when the lock on the door twists and Wonwoo is standing in the doorway, covering most of what Minghao can see of Mingyu and Junhui.

"Oh, you did clean up. Nice. Thank you," Wonwoo nods, a grateful smile on his face as he lifts up the bags in his hands. "I brought more takeout and that ice cream you like."

"Thanks," Minghao blinks and nods at him, not really knowing what to do as Wonwoo continues to stand awkwardly in the doorway.

Wonwoo steps inside then and Mingyu steps in after him, holding the door open for Junhui who's holding a fucking cake in his arms. The door closes behind Junhui and Minghao struggles to say something.

"Whaー" Minghao starts to say, but he's cut off by Mingyu launching himself into the birthday song while Wonwoo and Junhui hasten to join in as well.

By the end of the song, Minghao is undoubtedly blushing and Mingyu is hollering with laughter as Wonwoo steps forward and kisses the crown of Minghao's head, only making Minghao feel even more flustered. Mingyu steps forward as well but then stops when Minghao pins him with a murderous glare.

"Don't you dare try kissing me, Kim Mingyu. I'm very pissed off at you."

"Why? 'Cause I gave a hot guy your number? Come on, Minghao! I baked your cake, just let me kiss your cheek or something!" Mingyu whines.

"No," Minghao crosses his arm, firm on his decision until Junhui steps forward and passes the cake to Mingyu.

"Can I kiss you then?" Junhui asks, a timid smile on his handsome face.

Minghao blinks. "Um."

"Go for it, Junnie-yah," Wonwoo mumbles from the kitchen where he's heating up Minghao's takeout. "Doesn't look like Hao's going to give you much of an answer anyway."

Junhui nods and crowds into Minghao's space and Minghao is helpless to the pull Junhui has on him. Junhui leans in and very quickly presses his lips to Minghao's before darting away to safety while Mingyu starts whooping at them.

"Shut the fuck up, Cheetohead," Minghao spits through his teeth.

Junhui giggles and Minghao forgets about his irritation with Mingyu momentarily while he flushes again and avoids eye contact with Junhui. Mingyu coos at them again and the irritation comes back. Minghao takes a menacing step forward in Mingyu's direction, but Wonwoo is back in the room, candles and a lighter in hand as he pops the lid off the cake and arranges the candles atop it before lighting them.

"Happy birthday, Hao. Make a wish," Wonwoo murmurs, a hand on Minghao's back as he pushes him in front of the cake.

Mingyu smiles and nods at him, proud of the blue icing and white letters on the cake he holds that proclaim it Minghao's birthday. Minghao sighs and blows out the candles, smiling when Mingyu starts whooping again and almost drops the cake so Junhui ushers them all into the kitchen where Mingyu can set the cake down where it'll be safe for the most part.

They eat the cake with ice cream and Minghao decides he'll try and call his mom more often as they settle back into the boys' sleeping space and Wonwoo drags out the tv they never use. Mingyu hands Wonwoo Minghao's favorite shitty horror movie and then hides in Wonwoo's chest for the entirety of the film as Minghao finds himself nodding off on Junhui's shoulder.

Junhui nudges him awake sometime later and Minghao is mortified to find he drooled on him while asleep.

"I am so sorry, do you want to borrow a shirt or something?" Minghao hastens to say, keeping his voice down to not wake up Mingyu and Wonwoo who lay passed out on the floor, cuddling.

Minghao should probably be laughing at the fact that he was right and Mingyu is most definitely the little spoon, but he ignores that for apologizing to Junhui instead.

Junhui laughs and shakes his head, a hand on Minghao's shoulder to keep him from standing up just yet. "Nah, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Uh, sure. What is it?" Minghao gulps and settles himself back down, fingers twisted together in his lap.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go the movies with me sometime? Jigsaw is out right now and I heard the plot is pretty shitty and that seems to be your kind of thing considering how many b-rated horror movies we watched tonight," Junhui asks, a nervous smile on his face.

"Oh, um, Iー" Minghao stutters.

"He'd love to go," Mingyu mutters from the floor, making both Minghao and Junhui jump and bump their heads together.

"Ow," Minghao groans, rubbing his head as he glares at Mingyu who ignores it and turns over in Wonwoo's arms before falling asleep again. "I guess we're going then, yeah."

Junhui is also rubbing his head when he asks, "You sure? I don't want you to feel obligated to go because Cheetohead said so."

Minghao snickers at the nickname they'd adopted for Mingyu and nods. "Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go on Wednesday, I don't work that day. So no Cheetohead to tell me what to do!"

"Awesome," Junhui says with a visible excitement clear in his voice and Minghao smiles at it, a little flustered but willing to test out whatever is happening between them. "Happy birthday, by the way. Sorry I didn't get you a gift or something."

"That's fine," Minghao waves the worry away. "I hate getting gifts."

Junhui nods, smiling calmly now. "Still, happy birthday."

"Thanks," Minghao murmurs, before leaning in and kissing Junhui briefly on the lips again.

#junhao #sfwseventeen #kwritersworldnet #kwordsmiths #prettyboysnetwork #betareadernet #svt #fluff #p:junhui/minghao #f:cww #m: fic

[milkhwi]

So Close, Yet so Far - Park Jisung

summary: loving someone is painful especially if they don’t love you back, you’ll die

genre: hanahaki! au, aNGST, 0.1% fluff

warnings: Death, blood, throwing up, & probably not all proof read

word count: 2.2k

note: to the anon who requested angst, this is the best i could doo (i need to improve my writting skills) i finished this at 3 am so if it doesn’t make sense iM really sOrRY

italics = thoughts

m.list

“Be careful of who you want to end up loving.”, is something your parents would always say. Luckily for both of them, they ended up falling in love with each other and no death involved there (You didn’t really care much about love, at the age of 10) Your friends- on the other hand, already had found the perfect person they wanted to spend their lives with. It’s basically like soulmates- except you can fall in love with anyone and fall out of love. Except falling in love can probably kill you, with flowers.

One great thing about you is, it wasn’t easy catching feelings.

“So anyone that interests you?” One of your highschool classmates said, called Donghyuck, with a hint of curiosity.

“Hmmm, well, uh, no.” You sighed- both, in relief and stress. You wanted to feel excitement, your heart flutter, and love. Couples were everywhere but a few people weren’t lucky. At the same time, you were scared of dying. A mere mistake of falling in love with the wrong person could give me a goddamn disease ending up with- “Don’t worry, maybe you’re destined with someone perfect for you.” Jeno, your classmate who you met a few months back who coincidentally, hasn’t been interested in anyone but his studies. “I think I should give up looking for now and focus on something else.”

It’s been 8 months and no luck. Truly, you don’t really care anymore. Jeno on the other hand, already was in love with someone and got lucky. Sadly enough for you, he stopped hanging out with you everyday. You were happy for him when he told you the news but then a bit upset after he started dating. You did miss having him next to you. But you can make a few new friends, right?

-

The sound of the rain made you feel- well, less lonely. The sound of thunder falling like it was the end of the world. The lighting making it feel like it was a terrifying yet beautiful sight. It made you realize life wasn’t that shitty after all.

Another start to a hellish school year. They just get worse and worse. It goes two ways: more couples or less people alive. This school year Jeno has talked to you more now since you have a few classes together. He’s also been brighter than before, “Y/n!! Today you’re gonna meet one of my closest friends!!”

“Oh? Is he going to attend this school?” You said confused about why he randomly blurted that out. Jeno nodded, excited for the day to start.

Later that day, the news spread out like wildfire that a new student was transferring. Obviously, everyone wanted to know who it was. Being highschool kids meant curious about whoever is a new transfer student.

While entering Biology class, you spotted a few familiar faces and a boy who smiled at the sight of Jeno. “Jisung!! It’s been so long! I hope you enjoy being here!” You smiled at how Jeno could easily make the atmosphere bright up in a short amount of time.

You noticed how Jisung wasn’t much of a talker, but tried his best to answer all the questions about himself that they asked. It made your heart flutter a bit. (But you obviously ingnoring it thinking it was nothing.)

-

You and Jisung had actually a lot of things in common. It’s like the gods heard you, wanting to meet a person who made you feel completely happy. If anyone saw the both of you together they would think both of you would be dating. You and Jisung would instantly deny it but your face would be heating up- unlike his. You didn’t want to catch on feelings so soon and denied it. (But your heart wanted to say otherwise.)

-

“Hey y/n, do you wanna hang out today? Like outside of school?” Jisung said, giving you a smile. It’s the last class for today and you didn’t have any plans for tonight. (Unless scrolling through your phone was a plan). You smiled to yourself and instantly answered back but waited atleast three seconds, “Sure!”

It was also the first time Jisung asked you to hang out. You felt your mind being filled with different scenarios of what could possibly happen. Some made your heart flutter a bit.

“So, Jisung, were are we going?” You smiled at him, excitement rising up.

“Let’s get ice cream?” Jisung said, sounding more like a question.

Later on, you both sat at a bench near a playground. He smiled at the children playing together. You looked at his face features. You definitely smiled without noticing. How his pink lips made him look cuter, especially with a smile plastered on him. How his eyes followed the sight of the children running around, laughing. And how his hair fell down, it looked so soft that you just wanted to run your hand through it for hours. He was so close yet so far from your reach.

He turned to see you, causing you to quickly turn away and look at a few buildings near by. “Oh, do you wanna go there?” He happily said. So is this a date or not?

“Oh! Yeah, let’s see if we can find anything before we go home” You faked smiled, questions lingered in your head about Jisung.

-

On the way, Jisung decided to drop you home and visit a few of his old classmates. Midway, you spotted a girl, maybe around both your ages, she was staring at Jisung with a wide smile and ran towards him and gave him a hug, to which, Jisung returned surprised at her actions. That made your heart break but you ignored it again, thinking you were jumping into conclusions. “Jisung! How have you been? How’s school so far? Have you made any friends? Do you miss me?” The girl, full of questions looked at him happily. Is she- does she like him? Perhaps you were right.

“I’ve been good, it’s actually fun, yes I have, and I do miss you and the rest of you guys!” Jisung smiled back at her. You felt out of place in the conversation since you were confused about the whole sudden meeting right infront of you. You sighed, deciding to introduce yourself to her, only about to be caught off. “Oh! Is she your girlfriend? Did you guys go on a date~?” She said, giving Jisung a teasingly smile.

“Hahaha no she isn’t my girlfriend and it wasn’t a date!” Jisung said playfully arguing back to her. A few minutes later you sighed, not wanting to hear more about their conversation since both of them completely ignored your presence.

“Okay, I’m gonna go home now. Bye Jisung and uh-“

“Ivy” She smiled at you, slowly waving you off.

-

Once you got home, you immediately went straight to your bed and layed there, thinking. I should’ve known he doesn’t like me. You tried putting all the pieces together but you couldn’t. Maybe it was how he looked at her and how she looked at him. You realized you haven’t gotten any disease meaning Jisung does like you, correct?

wrong.

-

You woke up and you couldn’t breathe properly. You started coughing and felt sick all of a sudden. Once you started coughing more, blood came out. So you immediately headed to the bathroom and threw up. You felt a few petals coming out of your mouth. They’re the color red- perhaps because of the blood. Red Cypress flowers; meaning death, despair, and mourning. You didn’t know what to do. How long do I have until I die? Surely not enough, right? You were nervous about going to school now. You weren’t planning on telling your friends any time soon- or your parents. Luckily since you barely started with the disease, it wouldn’t be that bad the first few days.

Heading to school was definitely painful. You felt your heart hurt and sting at random times and you didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. You felt scared and nervous. This isn’t how you wanted it to be. You were definitely unlucky- loving someone who didn’t love you back.

-

“Hey Y/n, sorry about what happened last week, it’s just I haven’t seen my friend since forever” Jisung said, walking with you to your next class.

“It’s fine! I know what it feels like, too. So don’t worry about anything!” You tried your best to act perfectly fine even though you were dying inside.

-

A few weeks have passed, and you started drifting away from Jisung and your friends. They didn’t know the reason why, so they decided to ask you. “No reason, I’m not just feeling it today.” Is all you would tell them. Eventually they gave up on you. Which caused more flowers to appear.

Every single day, you woke up to blood spilling out of your mouth and more Cypress flowers coming out of your mouth. Sometimes you woke up in the middle of the night not being able to breathe well. You could hardly sleep anymore. Your parents noticed that you were less and less brighter than before. They would atleast have a serious conversation with you once a week but you told them you were fine and that you’re happy. It was believable enough, so they left you alone.

You were running out of time.

Pushing them away made you feel worse about yourself. Nothing you did make you feel better. You tried to forget about Jisung but, it didn’t even work. Jisung was still there even though you kept trying your best to push him away. You wanted to keep quiet but of course, that didn’t happen.

“Y/n! Please just tell me. We’re all worried about you.”

You thought about telling him but it didn’t matter anymore. Lie.

“I’m- I’m moving out.”

You wish you could’ve told him- but if you did, he would’ve wanted to help you out and which you rather not.

You could’ve sworn Jisung’s eyes turned glassy.

“Oh- well I hope you’ll find other people that will make you smile once again just like we did.”

-

Those were the last words Jisung told you after you left. Your parents disagreed to the moving out plan but you told them about the flowers. Your mom wasn’t smiling anymore and you could hear her cry at times in the nighttime.

Days and Nights passed and you didn’t hear from Jisung anymore. Perhaps he was happy with others. Your last days were coming to an end anyways.

Jeno and Donghyuck found out about you and felt like they were terrible friends but they didn’t know how they could’ve helped. They wanted you to get surgery but you decided not to, since it was your fault for falling in love with a boy who was never going to know how you felt.

-

Your parents, Donghyuck, and Jeno decided to make you smile atleast for a day, and also took you outside to look at the sun shining. If a person saw all of you, it would’ve seen like all of you were one of the happiest families. Even though they didn’t know when your time was up, they felt that you still had a few months and decided to have fun again the next day.

That same night you died. There weren’t enough words to explain the situation. Sure everything was perfect hours before- perhaps they were too perfect that it made you feel so happy. Something you shouldn’t have felt.

-

3 days later and Jisung found out. Chenle told him not to blame himself but he did. Every single day. He felt worse and worse each day. He had Jeno and Donghyuck with him. All they did tell him was that you had written him something. They didn’t want to talk about you since the wound was still hurting.

“It’s all my fault, because of me” Is all Jisung could ever say. Was he was dying inside? Yes he was. He felt so empty without you. He realized he wouldn’t see you smile brightly at him anymore. And he was dying because of you.

Jisung was also coughing up blood and flowers. Asphodels- meaning regret. They told him to get surgery, since they didn’t want to lose him like they did to you.

The day after his surgery, he went and visited you. He noticed that it was his first time visiting you after the last time he actually saw you. He should’ve said he loved you.

There he saw there was a note that had his name and read like this; Dear Jisung, I’m sorry for falling in love with you. I’m sorry I lied to you. I couldn’t help fall in love with you- but I didn’t stand a chance. So if you see this, please find someone who will love you back. Maybe in another lifetime we will actually spend our lives together.

He knew his feelings for you were gone, but he still cried. Why was life so cruel to him? Was this how it was supposed to end? He always wanted a happy ending but unfortunately, life gave him the worst ending.

And just like that he realized that he wasn’t ever going to see you in this timeline.

#nct dream #Park Jisung #nct #nct 2018 #nct imagines #lee donghyuck #lee jeno #zhong chenle #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

[holycalum]

vice (c.h.) part 4!

summary- (y/n) returns home and things get kinda bad before they get good. 

word count- 4.5k+

a/n- ok WOW so vice is over this is the last part wowwowow. i’m so glad so many people enjoyed reading this because i loved writing it and im so happy with how it turned out. thanks so much for reading ALSO im so very sorry i have idea how college works im a high school student i dont know anything ok bye

part 1 part 2 part 3

the days leading up to my return to school were blurred together. but they day i did return was crystal clear. 

i swung the door to my dorm open, greeted by only samantha, but no sign of britt.

“hey,” i sighed, plopping down on my bed, i toyed with the ring on my finger nervously. 

“what is that?” samantha asked, noticing the diamond first, not bothering to greet me. she strided towards me, grabbing my hand, eyes blown wide at the sight of the diamond. “(y/n)...”

“i don’t wanna talk about it,” i mumbled, wiggling my hand out of her grip. it didn’t look right on my hand, it was too much. 

“you’re engaged.” she deadpanned, dropping her hands from mine. i bit my lip hard, trying not to scream, i wanted to keep it to myself so it didn’t have to be real. “have you told your toy?”

“what?” i cautioned, whipping my head towards her. my eyes turned to slits. “calum.” she stated, “can’t go around fucking around-well fucking him-with him anymore-you’re engaged.” i tensed up at the weight of the situation. 

“i don’t wanna-“

she cut me off, “hurt him?” she jabbed, eyebrows raised in a condescending manner. “you did that when you got involved with him, when you knew this could happen.” i clenched my jaw, eyes staring straight into her forehead. it felt like everyone was against me. 

i got up slowly, raking my fingers through my hairs. tears brimmed in my eyes at my swarming thoughts, it was all too much. 

“i need a minute...” i murmured, already halfway out of the door. the air was bitter and it nipped at my skin harshly. i pulled out my phone, dialing calum’s number. 

“hey, sunshine.” he beamed, and i could hear the smile in his voice, it almost made me forget about the weight on my ring finger. 

“when do you get home?” i asked, biting my thumb nail. 

“i’m home now,” he answered, relaxing my body further. “why, what’s up?”

“you promised you’d see me when i got back,” i reminded him, and i could hear him chuckle on the other line. 

“should i stop by your place to pick you up?” he asked, 

i smiled, “yeah, i’d like that.” i made my way back to my room, and i watched as my ring glinted in the sunlight and bounced off the snow on the ground. it was pretty, but it made me feel so ugly. i stepped into the bathroom, avoiding samantha, so i could freshen up before calum picked me up. 

i took longer than usual, and it wasn’t a problem until i heard the door open, and i floated towards the entry way, eager to see calum. i stopped dead in my track when i heard samantha begin to speak. 

“what are you doing here?” she spat, the words rolling off her tongue like they’d kill her if she held it in any longer. 

calum paused, “i’m here to pick up, (y/n)...” he answers hesitantly, and i felt frozen in my spot. 

“calum, honestly,” she snorted, “do you not get it?” every word she spoke sent nails into my feet, keeping me in one place. 

“i’m confused,” i pressed my ear up against the wall separating us. “i thought you were her friend.”

“i am, that’s why i think i should do this,” she began, “she’s not in this for the right reasons. none of us think it’s fair she has to marry david, but none of us can change that, and she’s using you.”

“what do you mean, using me?” he sneers,

“you’re a distraction, obviously.” she retorted, “look at her, look at yourself. you’re everything her parents would absolutely hate. this is her way of getting back at her parents without them ever knowing.”

“you don’t know the half of what we even do,” calum said, “how would you even know.”

“all i’m saying is,” she lowered her voice, “engaged girls don’t start real relationships because she cares about the other person, it’s because they’re unhappy, and they need a distraction.” i ripped the nails in my feet out to stand where the two were discussing, eyes watering. 

“samantha...” i croaked, my voice pleading her to stop. i looked at calum, his face dropping. 

“you’re engaged?” he muttered, and my arms felt heavy. his eyes trailed down to my hand, his face went pale. “you really are.”

“calum it’s-“

“it’s over then? right?” his voice was shaking, chest heaving, while mine tightened in fear. 

“no calum- wait.” i sputtered, trying to reach out to him. he pulled his shoulder back, as if touching me would set off a ticking time bomb. 

“there’s no ‘wait’, (y/n). this is the way it has to be. right?” he waited for my answer, but i had none. “right?” he repeated, louder that time, making me shrink into myself a bit. 

samantha stood there, arms crossed against her chest, green eyes piercing into mine. it felt like she was communicating finish him, with only a look. 

“this isn’t how i wanted this to go,” i said weakly, all feeling leaving my body. 

“yeah...” calum said bleakly, “too late.” with those words he left, slamming the door behind him. my stomach dropped as soon as the slam traveled through the room. my knees almost gave out, and my mouth hung open. 

“calum!” i squeaked, taking one long step towards the door, but samantha stopped me by my shoulders.

“you’re gonna make things worse.” i stared straight through her.

i made a b-line to my bed, falling into it, my body completely hollow. burying myself under my covers and surrounding myself with soft pillows i tried to dull the sharp edges of my thoughts. i laid staring at the wall, gripping a small pillow close to my chest, only movement being blinking, and the occasional sniffle. samantha left, and i didn’t notice until i let my tears fall freely, dripping onto the pillow, creating a growing wet spot, and that no one was there to ask if i was ok or not. 

“oh no...” britts voice followed the door opening, a while later, “(y/n).”

“it hurts to breath,” i mumbled, not looking at her, i felt the bed dip. 

“what happened,” her voice lulled quietly, a hand now splayed across my shoulder. 

“samantha spewed bullshit to calum and we fought and he left and i’m engaged and i’m never gonna be fucking happy.” i repeated, not once breaking my starting contest with the wall. i felt her hand stroke my hair, the feeling hardly penetrated through my numbness. “he won’t even listen to me, but why should he? what’s the point? there’s no point.”

“don’t say that, babe.” britt whispered, her soft voice hushed. 

“it’s ok, britt.” i assured her, “i got it now, i’m just meant to be with david. i hurt anyone else too much.”

i spent the next few days in bed, feeling too heavy to even get up. i couldn’t muster the strength to roll out of bed to even shower, or eat. i looked a mess, but i couldn’t care. the days and nights melded together, throwing me for a loop every time i woke up from another nap. my classes had been avoided, but it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t matter in the end. 

wednesday rolled around, the time i’d usually take to walk with calum to our morning lecture, was instead filled with the same thing i’d been doing, laying i bed. the thought made my body sink into my bed further. the whole time i was awake i was uncomfortable, too hot, too cold, not in the right position, so i slept as much as possible, trying to minimize the time in between. while i dreamt i didn’t have anything to do, just whatever my brain made up. 

i watched the time tick by during my scheduled lecture, imagining what calum could be doing, how we was, how he felt. 

i decided i wanted to go home, to just drop out and give in. there was nothing left for me here, my fate was sealed with the diamond on my finger. staying there was hurting far too much. it seemed like my mom was right all along. i simply wanted to forget about everything. 

my phone found itself in my hand, as soon as my wednesday lecture should’ve ended. i got ready to call my mom, to tell her i’d come home. as if it was on cue, calum’s contact popped up, accompanied by the once endearing, but now nearly anxiety inducing ringtone he’d chosen for himself. 

“hello?” i rasped, scrunching my eyebrows. holding the phone up to my ear was the most i’d done in days. 

“you weren’t in class today.” he stated,

“i thought you didn’t care,” i mumbled,

“you weren’t in class today,” he repeated and i wanted to bang my head against a wall. 

i sighed, “yes, i’m aware.”

“are you ok?”

“no.” i stated, “i thought you didn’t care.”

“obviously i still care, (y/n).” he spat coldly, and i could picture him standing outside our lecture hall, a frown on his face with his toned arms across his chest, he could be such a child sometimes. 

“ok so you called me, now what? if you’re just gonna be a dick about it-“

“shut up for a second,” he snapped, and i was too tired to argue back, “i’m not out to get you.”

“why’d you call?” i asked finally, flopping my opposite hand on my lap, examining my ring. 

“i was worried.” he answered, ��can we talk?”

“i thought you didn’t want to talk,” i grit my teeth, a headache forming between my puffy eyes. 

“i don’t want to,” he breathed, “but i feel like maybe we should.”

“why?”

“it’s fucking hard to stay away from you, sunshine.” it was an out of body experience, being called sunshine after being deprived of the nickname for so long. i was almost giddy. 

i was convinced the only reason i dragged myself out of bed and to the shower was because of calum, and my incredible ability to not say no to him. it did feel good, to shower and feel things other than my bed sheets. 

i looked like hell as i trekked from my dorm to calum’s apartment. the freezing winter air nipped at my already raw nose. when i was finally buzzed into cal’s apartment, beads of sweat formed on my face from the sudden change in temperature and nerves coursing through my body. 

calum’s face appeared in front of me, daunting stature looming over mine. my breath hitched in my throat. 

“come in,” he murmured, stepping to the side awkwardly, the air surrounding us was unlike what it usually was when we were at calum’s apartment. “ash isn’t home.”

“since when have you lived with ashton?” my heart sped up, this was too much.  

“since forever,” he rolled his eyes, making his way to the kitchen, he was draped in a green sweatshirt, hood pulled over his curls. “why, do you secretly have a serious relationship with him too?”

“don’t start with me, calum.” i warned, already feeling my neck heat up in anger. “david was never a secret, you knew as well as i did.”

“whatever,” he grumbled, snatching a water bottle from his fridge, clutching it tightly. 

“calum,” i breathed, “don’t shut me out. you asked me to come over.” he gripped the bottle tighter. 

“give me one single fucking reason i shouldn’t.” he said through gritted teeth, finally making eye contact with me. 

my mouth fell open, “i-i don’t,” i stammered, not being able to find the words to tell him to just talk to me. “you asked me to come over.” he scoffed,

“this isn’t just my fault,” i started, “you got into this just as much as i did, you wanted to talk-here i am.”

“did i? because i feel like i’m a whole lot more involved than you are.” he laughed bitterly, ignoring my answer. 

“what? do you think i was faking it?” i raised my voice, my skin crawling underneath my jacket, i shrugged it off. 

“well i for one-“ he slammed his hands on the counter, the water bottle never leaving, “didn’t get engaged over winter break, so there’s that.” he was only adding fuel to the fire. 

“and you know it’s not real,” i whined, “not like this cal, you know that. you know i was scared it’d happen.”

he pulled his lips into a tight line, “so why am i to believe that this,” he gestured between the two of us, “isn’t as real as what you have with him.”

“so, you do think i lied to you,” i scoffed, sucking in my bottom lip, biting down harshly. 

“i don’t know what i think!” he yelled, fingers tugging at his hair. “i think i’m fucking mad at you! i’m fucking mad at myself.” the bottle in hand was dangerously squeezed between his fingers, it would burst at any moment. angry tears burned in my eyes.

“i trusted you,” he tensed, fingers white around the bottle. “i thought-“

“i’m not lying, i never was, i didn’t have anything to lie about.” i rambled. 

he chuckled, “you have no idea what you could’ve lied about.” 

“and i wasn’t,” i protested,

“why shouldn’t i believe i was just a time filler, someone to distract you while you have a whole life set up?”

“because you weren’t,-“

“i get it, sunshine,” the name didn’t sound sweet like honey anymore, it stung, “you wanna piss of your parents right? scare them a little bit, get out of this marriage and then move on? that’s what you wanted, that’s what you’ve always wanted,”

“you sound fucking insane right now,” i spat, not believing the words i was hearing. i could barely find any words to respond. 

“i can’t do this anymore, not with you.” he said, he wasn’t looking at me anymore, his eyes were focused on the wall behind me, “i can’t sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much. there’s nothing i can do...” his voice was wavering, but i could tell he tried to pretend it wasn’t. his eyes were glassed over, clearly overwhelmed. 

“was that the point of this? to yell at me?” i screamed in his face, a finger jabbing at my own chest. “you wanted to make me feel shittier than i already do?” the crushing sound of plastic filled my ears as calum’s eyes burned with fire. 

“are you even listening to me right now?” i shouted, “why are you doing this? you’re just rambling about nothing-“

“because i can’t do this,” he snapped, “are you listening to me? you’re hurting me, and every minute you stand here broken in front of me, it kills me. you hurt me, (y/n). i let you in, and it hurt me.” 

i let out a frustrated shout, “why are we talking right now then?” he swallowed hard, “if i’m just hurting you? why am i here? to yell at me? is that it?” my words were slow. i waited for a response and got none. “tell me calum! you’re not the only one hurting.”

“you’re yelling at me too, why’d you agree? to yell at me?” he mocked, and it made my skin crawl.

“you make me so angry,” i cried, rubbing my face harshly. “i’m trying to fucking move on. then you come back, every fucking time i don’t want to see you at all, and you make me rethink every damn thing. i wanna go home, calum. and i was ready to and now i’m standing here instead of packing my shit.” my thoughts were moving a million miles a minute, and i couldn’t slow down. 

“so you’re just gonna leave?” he growled, slamming the water bottle down onto the table hard, sending the cap flying across the room, and water down the sides of the counter. “i’m in fucking love with you, (y/n) and there’s nothing i can do about it, maybe that’s why i called you, to get some fucking closure, i couldn’t really tell you.”

next thing i knew, i was hurdling a plate at the wall behind calum, watching it shatter into a million pieces. 

“fuck,” i gasped, feeling my legs give out underneath me. my face landed in my palms, and tears ran down the sides of my hands as i collapsed into a chair. “fuck you,” i cried, 

“what the hell, (y/n)?” calum gritted, looking between me and the shattered ceramic on the floor behind him. 

“you didn’t have to say that,” i sobbed, my heart absolutely full in the worst way. i ran my hands through my hair, looking at calum with glassy eyes. 

he clenched his jaw, “say what? that i’m in love with you. i love you. i’m sorry, it’s what it fucking is, it doesn’t matter anyway. you always said that it doesn’t matter, this is how it is. you wanna fucking leave anyways,”

“what else am i supposed to do? one minute you’re telling me to leave you alone, and then you’re telling me to come over and now we’re fighting because we’re hurt.” i tried to piece everything together in my head, and i couldn’t find a single answer, “you keep saying we can’t do anything about this, but you keep talking and you keep dragging me along, calum. what do you want,”

“i want you to say it back,” his hands gripped the sides of his wet counter, “you say it back and i’m yours.” his voice was desperate and broken. 

“what?” i spit, “you were yelling at me ten seconds ago.” 

“say you love me too, and i’m yours.”

“calum what are you on?” a lump growing in my throat, “you know i can’t do that,” a tear rolled down my cheek. 

“you can leave if you really want to,” he bit down on his bottom lip, “but i know you don’t want to, what do you want, (y/n)? that’s what matters, you can control that.”

“calum,” i pleaded, “you’re making this so much harder.”

he kept his eyes glued to the table top, “you always say you wish it were different,” the silence between his words were filled with the sound of a steady drip of water onto the floor. “you don’t have to wish you can make it different-“

“it’s just how it is-“

“but it’s not,” he explodes, finally looking at me, “it’s not how it is, not right now, and we can figure something out, we can do whatever you want, this is your fucking life.” 

“i’m scared,” i admitted, and then was in front of me, standing over me as i sat on one of his chairs. it was a complete no-brainer, but my head was on high alert, using all of its willpower to get me to walk away. 

“yeah, i’m scared too,” calum breathed, “(y/n) i don’t think you get it, i don’t do this for people. i do this for you, and that’s not nothing. i want you, i want all of you.”

“are you sure,” i carefully stepped around my words, trying not to set him off again. 

“please just say it back,” he pleaded, making my stomach twist. i fiddled with the ring on my finger, swirling it around my finger nervously. “i’ve literally never been so sure about anything in my life, you almost took my head off with a plate and i’m standing here, begging you to say you love me back, sunshine.”

“i love you,” i gave up, letting the waves of calum consume me completely, my ring fell to the floor with a quiet thump. “i love you. i love you.”

his lips were on mine, pushing the dark cloud above my head far away from us. our bodies curved together, leaving as little space as possible in our position. he pulled away, 

“i love you,” he whispered against my lips, breath fanning over my face. i let my hands splay across his flushed cheeks, rubbing my thumb against his skin. i pulled him back into me by his jaw, wanting nothing more than to feel him love me. “i’m so sorry, i love you.” he gripped my arms tightly as if i’d slip like sand through his fingers. our exchange was a silent agreement to make it work, to find something in the darkness. 

calum’s presence enveloped me as we sat against his headboard, bodies intertwined. the ring was long forgotten about, not moving from its place on the floor of calum’s kitchen with the broken plate and dripping water. 

“i think we should talk,” he began slowly, “not scream at each other, talk.”

“yeah,” i sighed, fingers intertwining his, the warmth sending feeling throughout my whole body. “it wasn’t fake, cal. it never was, please know it was all real, realist i’ve ever had.”

his fingers were gentle as he ran a hand through my hair, “i know,” his movement stilled, “i was just scared, i don’t know. i don’t let people in like that, i just-“

“jump to conclusions,” i joked, and he grinned a bit.

“yeah,” he chuckled, wiping the corner of his eye, “i did.”

“it wasn’t just you- i was, i didn’t think it through. i should’ve told you,” i twirled a finger around his, tracing the dark words on his hands. “i didn’t know what to do, i mean shit- i still don’t. i’m still engaged.”

“i know,” he acknowledged, “it’s shitty, but if you don’t want it, i’ll help you. i’ll do whatever i can,” i smiled to myself, letting my eyes shut. 

“you make me feel like a person,” i whispered, glancing up at him. “it’s so much different, being with you. i feel like i’m growing, yanno?” being with calum made me realize i was more than a girl bound to a boy from a small town. i was me, and i could be whoever i wanted. 

i laughed, shaking my head, “that sounds kinda stupid.” he pulled me closer to his chest,

“it doesn’t,” he mumbled against my head, leaving a lingering kiss there. “you could sell the ring, you know?”

“what?” i scrunched my eyebrows, pulling away to look at him. 

“the ring,” he nodded, “it was a gift, technically. he proposed on christmas eve. legally, that ring is yours to do whatever you want.”

i giggled, “what, you wanna buy a pig with the money?” 

“i’m just saying,” he smiled, suddenly lighting up, “after we graduate, we can get a place and stuff and our own couch-“

“our own place?” i repeated, 

he brushed a piece of hair out of my face and smiled widely, “why not?”

“well,” i chewed my bottom lip, a smile playing on them, “i have an engagement to call off.” nothing in my life had felt more right than that, the weight lifting off my chest at those words were worth everything. 

“this is real,” calum bumped our foreheads together.

“i’m ok with it though,” calum connected our lips briefly, “i’m happy with it.” “i’m not happy with you,” my mother growled over the phone, later that night. i was stood in the middle of calum’s kitchen, it was late. calum had fallen asleep not long before i decided i couldn’t wait any longer. i held the ring between my fingers. 

“mom,” i shut my eyes, setting the ring down. “i can’t- i can’t pretend for the rest of my life.” 

“(y/n)...you don’t even know! you wouldn’t even know you’re pretending.” she tried to reason with me,

“are you hearing yourself? that’s so manipulative.” i fought, trying to keep my voice low. “come on mom,”

“are you really that unhappy?”

“no,” i smiled, “i’m not, because i-“

“you what?” she sounded worried, “don’t tell me you met someone.”

“i met someone, mom.” i finished, my heart full at the thought of calum sleeping peacefully only a room over. “and i’m so happy, and i can’t bear the thought of not feeling like that. even if it’s not with him forever,”

“you can’t feel that with david?”

“no,” i answered, “i love someone, and i love that this person wants me to be me and grow and live. i have more to offer than whatever i could give david.” “i just-“ she was speechless, 

“have you told david?” i breathed a sigh of relief at her words, 

“not yet,” i whispered, playing with the ring. “i wanted to talk to my mom first.”

“i think you should call him,” she paused, “i want you to call him.”

“ok,” i smiled, and hung up. allowing myself a moment to breath before i called david. 

“sounded heavy.” i almost screamed when i turned around and saw ashton leaning against the wall. 

“ashton,” i tried to recover smoothly, stretching my arms behind me, “hey.”

“you’re (y/n),” he held a hand out, “calum talks about you.” i shook his hand cautiously,

i smirked, “good things i hope?”

“most of the time,” he chuckled, 

“yeah...” i glanced to his bedroom door, “i don’t blame him, i can be a handful.” a friendly smile spread across ashton’s face. 

“nothing he can’t handle,” he shrugged, “seems to be smitten with you, i’m sure he’ll survive. happily, if i may add.” 

“i hope so,” a blush creeping onto my cheeks, at the thought of calum instead of ashton, surprisingly. “kinda breaking off an engagement for him, it’d be nice if he did his part.”

ashton raised his eyebrows, “shit,” he mumbled, “wasn’t filled in on that part, wondered why cal was so quiet.” i clicked my phone on and off,

“i messed up,” i huffed, “i’m gonna try and fix it thought, for calum.” 

“i’ll leave you to it then,” ashton waved and made his way to the opposite end of the apartment.

i called david, and set the phone on the counter leaving it on speaker. i got to work picking up the broken piece of the plate on the floor as i waited for him to answer the phone

“(y/n)?” david questioned, “you never call me, what’s up?”

“we need to talk,” i spoke, gathering the bigger pieces in my hand first, careful not to cut myself.

“about?”

“we’re not getting married.” i spoke, throwing the largest pieces away. david was silent on the other end. 

“why?” he spat, voice raising. i rolled my eyes at his volume, and held the phone to my ear, sandwiched between my shoulder and ear. 

“i don’t love you david, not like that.” i swept up the smaller shards, making sure the floor was clean. “i need to be my own person, and we just aren’t meant to work.”

“so what are you saying?”

“i’m saying,” i dropped the piece in the trash, “it’s over. we’re not engaged, we’re not getting married.”

“well,” he said, “ok.” and he hung up, leaving me with a ring and a clean floor. i quickly wiped up the water on the counter and floor, before creeping back into calum’s room. i slid back into bed as quietly as possible. 

calum rolled over to face me, “where’d you go?” he muttered sleepily, a yawn escaping his lips. 

“i had to clean up,” i whispered, brushing a curl back. he wrapped warm arms around me, 

“didn’t have to do that,” he said into my neck, leaving a sweet kiss. 

“don’t worry about it, sleepy boy.” i scratched his head lightly, “let’s go to bed.” 

i laid next to calum that night, and many after that as well. 

a/n- well now its really over wow that makes me emo thanks so much for reading means a lot i hope you liked it and i hope you don’t hate the ending (((: IF UR NOT DONE W ME !!! feel free to send requests or follow me to see other stuff i defo plan on writing (; ok love u bye thank you bye 

TAGS: @blxndeprincess @pancahke @tittymuncher69 @rexorangecouny

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[flickerofcalum]

once bitten, twice shy | part two

part 1 // shoot me a message if you wanna be added to a taglist!

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“It was the craziest thing, bro. One minute she was throwing a drink in my face and the next thing I know, she’s got her hand down my pants and her tongue down my throat. I mean, I’m not complaining, but it was confusing as hell.”

Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on Michael’s couch, listening to him recount the previous evening’s events to Ashton and Calum, Michael hadn’t stopped talking about hooking up with Olivia since they stumbled into his parents’ home early that morning, but thankfully, he’d mostly been too distracted to really pay close attention to his friend anyway. He was unable to stop thinking about his run-in with Brinley the night before.

When he’d decided to come home for Christmas, he’d prepared himself for the worst. He’d known immediately that she wouldn’t want to seem him and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. The two of them had been together for such a long time, had their whole lives planned out with each other, and Luke had selfishly flipped the script on her at the very last minute. He hated himself for it every day.

And god, he had missed her the entire time he’d been gone, but it felt even worse now that he’d laid eyes on her. Brinley had changed so much in their time apart – she was even more gorgeous, which he really hadn’t ever thought would be possible. Though it may have been a little creepy, he’d spent half the night watching her from across the room. He couldn’t stop picturing her long legs in the red dress, the cute way her lips curved up into a smile whenever she’d teased Calum, the delicate blush on her pale cheeks whenever someone gave her a compliment.

The worst part of it all was, despite the changes, Luke could still see all the parts of Brinley that he’d fallen in love with. The parts of her he was still in love with, if he was being honest with himself. He was more fucked than he’d previously realized.

“Earth to Luke,” Ashton’s fingers snapped in front of his face, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Are you alive in there?”

Luke blinked a few times. “Sorry. I was just…thinking.”

“About Brinley?” Calum questioned bluntly, raising a dark eyebrow at him. Luke had never really been comfortable discussing Brinley with Calum, and since their break up, he’d tried to avoid the topic all together. While the dark-haired man was one of his best friends, he knew that Calum’s history with his ex went back further than Luke’s history with either of them.

Luke chewed on his bottom lip, scratching his fingers along his stubbled jaw nervously. “I just didn’t think that seeing her again was gonna be so hard, you know?” He sighed a bit. “And she wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Well, you did abandon her right before the two of you were supposed to go off to college together, mate. Can you really blame her?” Michael pointed out, barely looking up from his phone. Luke shot him a glare. He didn’t really need a reminder of what he’d done to Brinley. It was already on his mind more than he would ever admit out loud.

Ashton reached over to pinch Michael’s thigh, eliciting a shriek from red-haired boy. “Not helping, Mike.” He looked back at Luke, his eyes soft and pitying. “She probably just needs some time.”

Luke shrugged sadly. At the party, Brinley hadn’t been able to get away from him fast enough – the chances of her changing her mind about wanting to speak to him were probably slim. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that Brinley was still in love with him. Not only was she beautiful, but she also was incredibly smart, talented, funny, and had the kindest soul out of anyone Luke had ever met. If they hadn’t already, it was only a matter of time before someone else came into her life and swept her off her feet, treated her the way she deserved to be treated. Luke was afraid that he was too late.

“She looked good, though, right? Like…she looks like she’s happy,” Luke said finally. Even if she was never his again, that was all he wanted for her.

He watched as Calum shared a look with Ashton he couldn’t quite read before he reached over to pat Luke’s thigh. “Yeah, man. She’s happy.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The cold air stung his skin as he walked outside, causing him to curse under his breath. When he’d promised his mother he’d come home for the holidays, he’d forgotten how goddamn cold it got there. He didn’t have a lot of warm clothes since he lived in Los Angeles, so he wrapped himself up in one of Jack’s old winter coats. There was a gap between the sleeve and the gloves he was wearing, but it was better than nothing.

Normally, Luke avoided going outside at all costs in the winter, but after being locked up in his childhood bedroom for nearly a week, his mother forced him out of the house with a grocery list. Worst of all, he was without a car, so he had no choice but to make the small trek to the store on foot. It was only about a ten-minute walk, but the frigid weather made it feel like hours.

His cheeks and the tips of his ears were red by the time he arrived at the store. The heat was blasting, something he was grateful for when he walked inside. He grabbed a cart and furrowed his brows as he looked at his mother’s list. It occurred to him that he hadn’t been grocery shopping since he moved to Los Angeles. Most of the time, Ashton took care of that sort of thing or they ate take out. “Milk, egg whites, cereal…” he mumbled to himself underneath his breath as he wandered down the aisles, putting the items in the cart. He was pretty sure he had grabbed the wrong brand of cereal, but it was his mother’s own fault for sending him here.

He stood in front of the milk, thoughtfully looking between all the different types. His mother had been on a health kick lately, so would she want almond milk instead? Was he supposed to buy the store’s off brand version since it was cheaper? Luke had been standing there for far too long whenever he heard his name called out by a sweet little voice.

Brinley turned the corner, an exasperated look on her face as she tried to stop her little sister who was barreling towards Luke. He took in a sharp breath as he saw her. She was only in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, her hair thrown messily on top of her head, but she still looked as beautiful as ever to him. “Mallory, no running! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The man grinned as he bent down to Mallory’s level, catching her when she launched herself into his arms. Luke had always had a soft spot for the younger girl, partly because she was the spitting image of her sister. He was a little amazed at how much she’d grown since he’d last seen her, a heavier weight against him than he was used to.

“There is no way you’re Mallory,” He said teasingly. “You are far too big to Mallory.”

Mallory rolled her eyes, propping a hand on her hip as she looked at him. “That’s ‘cause I grew up, dummy.”

“Mallory, be polite,” Brinley chastised. She locked eyes with Luke for a moment before she looked away with flushed cheeks.

Luke turned his attention back to the younger girl. “My apologies, Ms. All Grown Up. Who said you could grow up while I was gone, hm?”

His smile only grew as the little girl giggled, revealing her missing tooth. “I can’t help it!” She insisted, gripping Luke’s hand once he stood up.

Looking at Brinley again, he dared to speak. “It’s good to see you. It’s a shame we didn’t get to talk at the party.”

Brinley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking up at him through her long eyelashes. “Oh, well… you know, Olivia kind of loses her mind when Michael’s around. I had to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Right,” Luke said with a nod, looking back down as Mallory started tugging on his sleeve.

“Luke, Luke! I’m in a Christmas play at my school. I play an angel!” She said excitedly.

Luke grinned. “An angel, huh? How fitting,” he teased, smoothing down her hair.

Mallory rose up on her tiptoes to speak to him. “Will you come see it?”

Brinley coughed. “Mal, I’m sure Luke is really busy…”

Although he knew Brinley didn’t really want him around, he hated the idea of disappointing Mallory by saying no. “I’m actually really not that busy,” he blurted out, chewing on his lip again. “I’d love to come, Mallory. If it’s okay with your sister.”

He felt only slightly guilty as Mallory turned towards her older sister with big eyes, a small pout forming on her lips. “Can he come? Pleaseeee?”

The older girl let out a sigh, giving Luke an exasperated look. “I guess so. Can you let me talk to Luke alone for a second?”

Mallory’s smile was wide as she hugged Luke around his legs for a moment. “Bye Lukey!”

“Bye, petal,” Luke said fondly.

He bit his lip as Mallory ran back over to their nearby cart, pulling the doll she’d left inside out. He’d gotten enough lectures from Brinley to know when she was about to chastise him about something, so he prepared himself as he looked at her. “Brin, look…”

“Don’t call me that,” Brinley snapped, holding one finger up to cut his sentence off.  Her gaze felt like it was piercing right through him and he had never felt quite so vulnerable in his life. “I know we’re going to be seeing each other a lot over the next few weeks, but I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in reconciling with you. You can come to her play, and we can be civil when we’re with our friends, but I don’t want anything to do with you other than that?”

At her words, Luke felt his heart jump into his throat. While he didn’t necessarily expect her to jump back into his arms, he at least thought she’d be willing to talk things out. “Can’t you just give me a chance to explain?” He said, a bit more pleadingly than he would’ve liked. “There’s so many things I have to say to you if you’d just give me five minutes.”

Brinley let out a humorless laugh. “If you wanted to explain yourself that bad, you would’ve done it by now. You can’t just show up here after all of this time and expect me to just bend to your will and listen to you.” She insisted. “I just… I just want to forget everything that happened between us. I’m done, I’ve moved on. And I suggest you do the same.”

Luke gaped after her as she stalked back over to Mallory. He’d been on the receiving end Brinley’s anger before, but he had never experienced her being so outwardly harsh. He felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest as he watched her walk away.

As he finished up the rest of his shopping, he felt numb, like he was on autopilot. The wind blew the cold air harshly around him as he walked, but it barely affected him. He’d always known that he’d fucked things up with Brinley, but it was starting to hit him that things between them were messed up beyond repair. The girl he loved wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and it hurt.

So, when Luke got home, he quickly put away the groceries before retiring to his room to deal with his feelings the only way he knew how. He locked his door, grabbed a notebook, and started writing.

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