#romance fantasy fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

borathae · 7 months

Text

"You and he aren't supposed to fit so well together. You aren't supposed to work and yet somehow destiny seems to tie you to him tighter and tighter. Will you be able to cut the string of fate before the knot gets tight enough to suffocate or will you accept it and allow yourself to entangle with him?"

Pairing: Queen!Reader x Knight!Jimin

Genre: Forbidden Love!AU, Fantasy!AU, Childhood Friends to Lovers!AU, Romance, Smut

Warnings: fluffy moments are sprinkled in between, but also angst :(, so much yearning, secret kisses & secret meetings, multiple smut scenes where one is more detailed while the others are implied-ish, she's fighting her feelings for him, he loves her so much, death, grief & guilt, the tension!!!, i'm clawing my skin off i fucking love yearning and forbidden love, consumption of alcohol, oral (m. & f.receiving), indications that she jerks off with his sword handle, strength kink, body worship, sex in nature, semi-public sex, the next warnings are for the detailed smut: sub!Jimin, Dom!Reader, sex in a broom cabinet, mutual stripping, desperate making out, handjob, he kneels as he gives her sloppy head, she pins him against a shelf, and rides him on the floor, he's sensitive and needy, fuck besties they need each other so bad, cumming too soon ehehe, this has a happy end!!!!!

Wordcount: 23.9k

a/n: i blame you guys for making me suffer. you fucking begged me for more knight!jimin and therefore gave me PAIN i am not oKAY OMFG them them them 😭 i don't think i'll ever shut up about them and their bond and the fact that they've known each other since childhood fndnafn have fun besties, this is so fndnfnasnf 🖤

~ To Prologue ~

His gasps are the loudest thing in this silent night. He tries not to make any sounds, but it is difficult when your touch drags pleasure to his skin.

“Mine. All mine”, your whispers are quieter than his gasps, swirling against his length before your warm mouth replaces them again.

“Please”, Jimin begs, feeling his knees buckle as his senses begin to blur.

You ambushed him tonight. One of your queendom’s viscountess hosted a dance in her castle today and you visited it with your most trusted members of the council. Jimin escorted you as well. As your Queen’s Guard and nothing more. The dance was a two edged sword. You had incredible fun, the food was delicious and wine plenty but the knowledge that you couldn’t even steal as much as one dance with Jimin laid a sad blanket over the evening. And so you danced. You danced with everyone but Jimin, whilst having to resort to sneaking longing glances at the dark haired knight. Glances he retorted with just as much longing in his beautiful eyes.

You arrived back at your castle late into the night. Drunk on wine and good dance, but also burning up in yearning for your knight. And so you visited him in his chambers once your servants helped you get ready for bed and the castle was asleep.

Jimin came out of his bathing chambers when you ambushed him. He wore nothing more than a drying cloth around his hips and pearl necklaces around his neck, while his black hair was pushed out of his face. You kissed him right where he stood, pushing him until he collided with his dresser and you could touch his every inch.

“I need to have you”, you sighed against his lips.

“I need to have you as well, my Queen”, he allowed you and while he believed the night to bring the taste of your cunt, you proceeded to worship every inch of his sculpted torso. With your fingers, your palms, your lips and tongue. You traced every outline, kissed every scar, licked the spots most sensitive and left marks where he arched his back the most. He will trace the marks once he is alone in his chambers and you weren’t with him.

And Jimin felt weakened in pleasure, barely keeping himself upright when you proceeded to fall to your knees, take off the drying cloth and worship his aching length.

“You taste so heavenly, oh Jimin”, you moan as you abandon his length for the sake of worshiping his heavy balls. Your hand is busy jerking him. He is so wet already, pulsating in your hand.

“Oh- it, it feels so good ah”, Jimin moans squeakily, scrunching his face, “my Queen...”

It hasn’t been long since you fell to your knees, but Jimin is already grasping the edge of the dresser for strength. He hasn’t experienced such untamed hunger from you before. Such gluttony for his length. It is difficult to handle for someone as sensitive as your beloved knight.

“Please, I will soil you please”, his voice is breathy in ruin, his eyes are glassy as they look down at you, “please, you have to slow down. Ah please.”

His begs have the opposite effect on you. Instead of giving him a break, you take him into your mouth until his groomed hair tickles your nose and he throbs in your tight throat.

“No I-”, Jimin whimpers and throws his hand over his own mouth to muffle the loud moan escaping him as you force him to climax down your throat. He throws his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as pleasure courses through him. His knees buckle and make him stumble. If he wasn’t that strong, he would have crumbled to the floor.

It isn’t often that you are the one on your knees. But tonight you were drunk, jolly from dance and starved for him. He didn’t wear his usual armour tonight. He dressed in leather attire adorned with your queendom’s symbols and wore a pale, silken shirt underneath. He topped it off with pearl jewellery and his sword and styled his hair in a noble way. Truly, every second spend with looking at him was agonising paradise and turned you into the hungry woman you were right now.

You slip off his length as he whimpers for a break, finding your heaven by kissing his hard abdominal. It is sculpted from the strenuous training your Queen’s Guards have to do daily and ripples under your lips as he fights for air.

“This was incredible”, you moan, swirling your tongue over his lower abs. You are panting and gasping with him, looking up at him with love drunk eyes, “you are the sweetest thing I tasted tonight.”

Jimin swallows heavily, meeting your gaze. His heart swells. He grabs your face and pulls you to your feet, claiming your soiled lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue tangles with yours, feasting on his lingering taste like a starved animal. Seconds later, your feet leave the ground as he lifts you to carry you to bed. Even more seconds later, your dress is lifted up and his length is breaching you as he rocks his hips into you in a desperate rhythm.

The only thing which keeps the castle from knowing what was happening, are the passionate kisses you share. Otherwise you would be way too loud.

Jimin is part of your life. It began when thirteen full moons ago, you claimed his innocence and loved him passionately for a night. Since then, he began trickling into your life more and more. You invited him to your bedroom more and more under the guise of wanting his services, which most nights ended in his length deep inside you. You began sneaking to his bedroom more and more and at first, you always left after the fun ended, but then those nights where you stayed with him began. And after that, the nights where he stayed in your bed began.

And while you should have stopped it then because it reached levels such a secret should have never reached, you didn’t stop. You kept going. And so you kept going until one night, Jimin stood by your door in nothing but his sleeping clothes and he asked to have you. He asked for the first time since you began this forbidden love affair. And while you should have send him away and ended it because it had become something too much, you dragged him into a kiss and allowed him to have you. And he stayed the night.

That is when the secret became something which never should have happened. You continued to visit him and Jimin began visiting you more and more. You stayed the night, he stayed the night and then one faithful morning, you woke up with him still next to you. Until this point, you and he had always made sure to sneak away before the other – and most importantly, the castle – woke but not that morning. He stayed with you, meeting your gaze as you opened your eyes for the new day. And he gave you a smile, cupped your cheek and whispered that you are the most beautiful person on earth and then he kissed you.

And you kissed him back eventhough you should have sent him away and ended it. You and he became a secret so forbidden and yet you didn’t send him away.

Jimin stays with you tonight. Your bodies were spent and your dress has found its new home on the floors. You are on your stomach, propped on your elbows and covered by the blanket as you look up at Jimin. He is returning from his small dining table with two jugs of water, climbing back under the warm sheets.

“Thank you”, you accept the water, drinking it gladly, “I felt truly parched”, you say, handing him the half empty jug. He discards it on his nightstand, placing his own jug next to it once he took a healthy sip.

“Yes, I felt the same”, he says and shimmies under the blanket. He rests on his side, propped up on one elbow and with his head supported by his hand. He places his hand on your lower back, rubbing circles on your skin, “it’s not often that you ambush me in such ways”, he says with a smile that reaches his eyes. His damp hair is terribly tousled, his soft cheeks flushed. He looks so beautiful after sex. You could look at him for hours.

“I feel no shame in what I did tonight. The dance was agony. All I wanted was to dance with you and you looked so dashing in your clothes that I almost made a whore of myself in the middle of the room.”

“Oh heavens”, he flusters, letting out little giggles as he throws his head back. He covers his mouth with his hands, speaking in a higher voice, “don’t say such things.”

“I am truthful”, you laugh.

“Oh, I’m aware that you are”, he says, leaning in for a gentle kiss to your temple. You lean into the kiss with closed eyes, feeling utterly calm in his presence, “you looked beautiful as well. I wanted to steal you away from all others.”

You giggle, “you talk the sweetest things.”

Jimin chuckles, nuzzling his face against yours to begin kissing you.

“Mhm and you talk the most indecent of things”, he coos, tickling your face gently as he nips on your cheek.

“Jimin, please”, you squeal and moments later, you are on your back while Jimin attacks your face with loving kisses and shares in your giggles.

There is this tree not far outside the capital’s walls. It wasn’t really alive, but it also wasn’t really dead. All its branches were bare, except for one which climbed high enough to reach the light. One has to walk a narrow path along the cliff side, find their way through a cave and climb natural stairs down until one reaches a small plateau in the high cliffs to find it. It is a secluded spot, only the sea and its birds are witness to what happens there. It is the middle of the day and Jimin is beneath you with his mouth latched onto your heat while you stroked his length. You left the castle for a walk and because Jimin was your most trusted guard, he escorted you to keep you safe. At least that is what you let the court believe. You held his hand the second you entered the cave and haven’t let go of it since then. Well, until you couldn’t take the yearning any longer and began kissing him with the sole purpose of connecting with him in the most pleasurable of ways.

“Oh this feels so good. Ah Jimin”, you moan, arching your back as his tongue laps at your heat eagerly. He growls against you, rolling his hips into your touch as he chases the pleasure you bring him.

It has been a few weeks ever since you last touched each other. The night after the dance was long ago and since then, you weren’t able to be with one another again. Your husband returned from his travels, bringing stories to tell, clothes to try on and foreign foods to taste. And so you had to pretend to be a wife most delighted to see him, while Jimin had to pretend to be nothing more than your guard. Your husband didn’t sleep in your bed, but he stayed in your chambers long into the night, telling you stories of his adventures or fulfilling his duties as your husband. He wasn’t terrible and knew not to touch until you allowed him, but he also wasn’t Jimin. That is all the knowledge one needs about this topic as you didn’t truly want to remember the nights with your husband. Yes you allowed him, but you only did so because you feared that if you didn’t at least pretend to want him, he would grow suspicious about how you could go so long without a touch and not be starved for it. And so you shared intimacy with him, finding your release only once you began thinking of Jimin.

Other than the nights of duties you had to share with your husband and having to push away Jimin, having your husband back at the castle wasn’t terrible.

You and he are good friends after all and you always shared wonderful conversations with each other. He also knew how to make you laugh and brought many books filled with stories about foreign cultures. You enjoyed learning about other cultures, so his presents were truly appreciated by you.

Once the sixth week passed, your husband left again, taking his favourite ship to sail east. He promises to return by spring and you told him to be safe and to come back bearing wonderful stories and books filled with knowledge. You kissed him goodbye and he told you that he would write to you the moment he had a quiet moment to himself and then you stood by the shore until his ship was but a small dot on the horizon.

Frigga, your advisor, was with you, as was a small group of the court, some guards and Jimin as your personal guard. You turned to him once your husband’s ship was gone.

“I want to take a walk to clear my heart of the agonies of seeing my beloved leave”, you lied and gave Jimin a look.

“Shall we come with you, my Queen?” Frigga asked.

“No, I want to be alone with my thoughts”, you told her and left the shore.

Jimin followed you and nobody in the court questioned it because he was your personal guard after all, meant to tail you like a shadow and keep you safe. It was truly the perfect disguise to keep the truth hidden. That you left so you and Jimin could finally catch up on six weeks of distance and that you couldn’t wait for the moment your husband’s ship disappeared on the horizon.

“Jimin! Now!” you gasp, throwing your head back as his tongue pushes you over the edge.

He moans into you, intoxicated by your high and charmed by your touch, he finds his own release in the palm of your hand.

Jimin wasn’t always part of the Queen’s Guard. Only a handful of knights will have the honour of serving you in their lifetime. Selected by you and with hard training keeping them strong, the Queen’s Guard is truly a small yet mighty group of knights.

Jimin became leader of it seven full moons ago. Not only because he was a capable and strong warrior and he proofed himself worthy of such a position, but also because being your personal protector, and the leader of the Guards, meant that people would ask lesser questions about why he was always leaving your chambers or following you to secluded places. After all, you and he must be talking strategies in your chambers and he most definitely follows you to keep you safe. Truly the court was a credulous bunch.

You roll off of Jimin, lying down on the ground beside him. It happens naturally that Jimin stretches out his arm so your head wouldn’t touch the dirty ground. You rest on it comfortably, looking up at the high cliffs. A rock overhang hides the sky from your eyes. The harsh, salty air of the sea made it so that over thousands of years the black rock became dark grey in colour.

“You truly feel like no other”, you say, “I feel breathless.”

“Yes, I feel breathless as well”, Jimin says as he rests beside you with closed eyes.

You turn your head to study his features. It is as if every single inch was sculpted by magic. His proportions are perfect for his face. He is so beautiful.

“I missed you, Jimin.”

“I missed you as well”, he says and turns his head. He looks into your eyes, smiling softly, “you look ruined.”

“Do I? I feel ruined”, you say and laugh.

Jimin laughs with you, reaching out to brush your cheek with his thumb, “I love when you look this way.”

You draw closer to him until your head rested on his upper arm and you could steal a kiss.

“Mhm”, Jimin smiles into the kiss, stubbing your nose with his own.

“I feel so lucky that he will be gone till spring. Eight months, Jimin. We will be able to do so many wonderful things during this time.”

“I know. I’m excited.”

“Yes, me too.”

You fix your head so you could look at the rocks again. Jimin does the same, smiling to himself as you reach up to hold his hand.

You share a few moments of silence until suddenly you break it with chuckles.

“Why are you laughing?” Jimin asks.

“Oh, I was just thinking.”

“Tell me.”

“I was just thinking that I can be lucky to have such skilled sorceresses in my castle. Imagine if they didn’t use their prevention magic on my belly. Oh Jimin, we would be producing children like rabbits.”

Jimin laughs, “you think of such crude things, my Queen.”

You giggle, “I know, oh I know. I’m terrible. I can’t help it. I always think of you and what we did.”

Jimin rolls to his side, pulling you into a gentle forehead kiss.

“I think of you as well. Most of my days even.”

You giggle, seeking his closeness, “oh Jimin, you are wonderful.”

He rubs his hand up and down the back of your head.

“It saddens me that I can’t share my stories with Frigga.”

“It doesn’t sadden me. Don’t make me an indecent man in front of her”, Jimin jokes, making you laugh.

“Oh you”, you nudge his chest, “I wasn’t speaking of our intimacies. I just meant that I find it saddening that I cannot tell her how happy you make me”, you look up into his eyes, “and that I think of you every waking second.”

A sense of sadness washes over Jimin’s face as quickly as a wave crashes the shore. A smile replaces it.

“I know”, he whispers, tracing your brow with his fingertips, “it is already enough that you and I know”, his eyes fill with insecurities, “isn’t it?”

“Yes. Yes, of course it is enough”, you say and lean in for a kiss.

It has to be enough.

“The Queen Consort is dead! He is dead!”

It was a sunny day when the news reached the castle. You enjoyed the ray of warm light in your courtyard, playing card games with Frigga and your maids, when a messenger interrupted the peace.

“He is dead”, he wheezes with tears in his eyes, “the sea took him. Him and his crew! He’s dead!”

It was a sunny day when the funeral happened. There wasn’t much of him to say goodbye to. Only pieces of his ship and a small heap of books survived. They washed up on the shores and at first you didn’t want to believe that they belonged to his ship. Until your guards found two members of his crew. Their bodies were bloated from the waters and their eyes were already missing from their sockets. Animals must have gotten to them.

Their funeral was held two days after.

It is sunny. It is blinding your eyes. It hurts. You cried all night. And the night before. And all day when the news met you. It has been sunny since. You hate that it is. How dare the sun shines when life is so cruel.

It is custom in your Queendom to give a dead beloved a sea burial. The body was sent out on a wooden boat with food, drink and riches for a safe journey to the afterlife and then the best archer will light an arrow and sent it straight to the boat to set it aflame.

Your husband can’t have such a burial. An empty boat with useless riches and food is sent from shore. You are tasked with shooting the arrow. You light the resin soaked tip and draw the bow. You let go. The arrow flies fast and misses.

The people stay silent, but the humiliation is there in your heart next to the paralysing grief. Most of your queendom is standing by the shore and watches you. You feel useless now that you missed.

One of your servants hands you a new arrow wordlessly, avoiding your eyes. You light it, draw the bow and miss again.

The same servant hands you a third arrow. The boat is getting further and further away. You force down a sob and try again. It misses.

The first whisper sets off a choir of whispers. It isn’t your fault. The sun is too bright and your heart aches too much. You have no strength in your arms. Why are they whispering?

Another arrow is handed to you. You light it with shaking hands and try to draw. The string barely wants to budge. The boat is far away. The whispers grow.

“She won’t do it.”

“She’s not strong enough.”

They don’t know that you can hear them, but you can. You struggle with holding the string, but you have to draw more. It is so difficult to do.

“Her husband’s already died at sea without proper burial and now she can’t even send him off.”

You fight for air and lower the bow. The gasps are deafening in your ears. You can’t do it. You couldn’t love him right and now you can’t even send him off right. You are a failure of a wife.

You try again. You have to send him off properly. The string barely moves. A small sob escapes you. The whispers are so loud. You can’t do it and all they can do is whisper. Your head turns. You are going to pass out.

Strong arms lie themselves around you, an armoured chest presses into your back. You tense up, but feel yourself relax when Jimin’s face comes into your vision.

“Trust in me, I can help you”, he whispers as he helps you draw the bow.

The whispers are still in the back of your head, talking about how you cannot do it alone.

“Don’t listen to them. Concentrate on me. They don’t know what they’re saying”, he tells you and aims the bow, “once I stopped talking, we will let go together. Understood?”

You nod your head.

“Okay. Let go.”

The arrow flies fast and it flies straight, connecting with the boat far, far in the distance. It lights up within seconds, painting a bright orange spot on the blue ocean canvas.

The music starts and people behind you begin cheering. It is custom to send off the dead with song and cheer. But you can’t cheer. You are humiliated and at the end of your strength. You turn, falling into Jimin’s arms as you sob uncontrollably. Only a handful of people look at you, while the rest was busy celebrating your husband’s safe journey to the other life.

“I do not wish to be here. Please take me away”, you beg Jimin.

“Of course. Come, hide in me”, Jimin tells you and leads you away from the festivities. Some people try to fetch a touch, but he pushes them away skilfully, sending each a deathly glare.

You can still hear the festivities from your castle. The building is empty as everyone is by the shore wishing your husband and his crew a safe journey. You wanted silence and yet the music and cheers still meet your ears.

Jimin manages to lead you as far as the dining halls and then strength forsakes you.

“I can’t do this”, you wail, falling to your knees.

“Oh”, Jimin gasps and stumbles as the sudden drag surprised him. He catches himself quickly, helping you back to your feet. Together, you and he manage to stumble to a bench, “sit down here. Sit down”, he tells you, helping you with it.

You sink into yourself once you are seated, burying your face in the clammy palms of your hands. Jimin squats down before you, trying to calm you down by rubbing your arms.

“I can’t do this anymore”, you cry.

“Oh my treasure”, Jimin gets out with comradery tears in his eyes, “I’m here. I’m right here”, he promises and pulls you into a hug. He kisses the side of your head, swaying you from side to side gently, “I’m here.”

You and he will hug by this bench until the first voices of people returning meet your ears. And you won’t be able to tell anyone, but you were so incredibly happy to have Jimin by your side.

It shouldn’t have to be mentioned that the weeks after your husband’s early death were filled with grief. You didn’t spend a lot of time doing things a Queen should do. Your once colourful clothing caught dust in your dressers as only the blackest of garments cover your body. Your jewellery stayed untouched and if it wasn’t for your servants, you wouldn’t even have bothered to do your hair. Jimin brings food to you each night. Sometimes Frigga is faster than him and they meet in your chambers with slight awkward surprise between them. Thankfully nobody questions why he spends time with you each night. The court thinks that Jimin is solely doing his duty as your guard and he does. Of course does, but more than anything he attempts to be there for you as your lover, offering you arms to fall into when you needed it and a shoulder to cry on when the tears didn’t want to stop.

“My Queen?”

He brings dinner tonight as well. Your chambers are empty and the scent of vanilla oil fills the room. He knows the origins of this scent like a lover knows the scent of his beloved’s skin. You are bathing.

Jimin places the tray of food on your dining table and takes the path to your bathing chambers.

You have your back turned to him as you look outside at the sea. The full moon reflects in the unruly waves. A storm is brewing. The kind of storm which took your husband. Jimin knows by just looking at your hunched posture that this is what you are thinking.

“My Queen?”

You turn your head upon hearing Jimin’s voice, meeting his gaze with exhausted eyes. You hum as acknowledgement but otherwise stay quiet.

“Why are the windows open? Aren’t you cold?” Jimin asks, hurrying to the open windows. He closes them, locking out the cold winds. He turns back to you. You are looking at him with tired eyes and your chin resting on your knee.

“Do you want to leave the water?”

You nod your head.

“I shall call the servants.”

“No. Stay. Don’t call them.”

Jimin watches you stand up and point at the drying cloth. He hurries to it and picks it up instantly, carrying it to you. He holds your hand as he helps you out of the stone tub and wraps you up in the cloth. You lean into him, resting your head back against him as he rubs his hands along your body to dry you.

“A storm is brewing on the horizon”, you whisper.

“I know. It will be a cold night, but we are inside where it is warm.”

“Do you think that Mino was cold before he died?”

Jimin falters in his touch, looking at the side of your face. You never called your husband by his name before. At least not in front of him.

“I cannot say”, Jimin says quietly.

“To imagine that he died wet and cold. Storms are so scary. Oh, he must have been so frightened.”

“I am sure that he thought of you, which made it easier to bear.”

“Don’t say that”, you gasp and tear up, “why would you say such a thing?”

“I didn’t think that it would hurt you. Forgive me, oh please don’t cry.”

“I was such a terrible wife to him. He thought of me as he died while I laid in your arms and wasted not a second with thinking of him.”

Jimin would be lying if he said that your words didn’t leave an ache in his heart. He swallows it down and wraps his arm around you.

“Perhaps he didn’t think of you. I just merely said such words because this is what I would do.”

“Oh”, you let out, spilling tears, “oh what have I done?”

“Come. Let us get you in some clothes. Come”, Jimin says and leads you outside the bathing chambers and also hopefully away from your emotions.

He sits you down by your dressing table and hurries to your drawers to get a warm sleeping gown.

“Jimin, do you believe me to be a terrible person?” you ask him with emotion in your voice, but thankfully no sobs.

“No, my Queen. I believe you to be the most precious person on this planet.”

“If you didn’t love me, would you still think this way?”

“Yes. But I love you and I do not want to imagine a world where I don’t”, he says and hurries back to you, “now, stand up and allow me to dress you.”

You allow him. You stand up and raise your arms so he could slip the sleeping gown on. Then you turn and allow him to tie it in the back. Jimin gives your shoulders a gentle massage once you are dressed, pushing you down carefully until you fall onto the chair. He leans down and places kisses from your dressed shoulder up to your neck.

He looks at you in the mirror, expecting you to have your eyes closed as you always have when he kisses your neck but instead you are looking at him with sad eyes.

“I’m frightened”, you confess.

Jimin furrows his brows in worry.

“I should be relieved that I am not betraying my husband behind his back anymore, but I am not. I grieve for him deeply and I am frightened.”

“Frightened of what?”

“I do not wish to marry into royalty again. I want to marry you.”

Jimin smiles.

“And yet I am frightened that I will have to. My queendom is so small compared to others. What if people want to attack us now that we lost such a strong ally?”

“Who would want to attack us? We are a peaceful queendom.”

“We are, but the Queens of Stormveil aren’t, neither are the Naritauri. Danger lies beyond the sea and I am frightened.”

“Please don’t be. Those are futures which won’t happen”, Jimin assures you and wraps his arms around you. His cheek is resting against yours, he is swaying your bodies slowly, “for tonight the future you should think about is dinner and how I will rub your back until you fall asleep.”

He expects a smile but receives a sad frown.

“What’s the matter? Do you not want me to?”

“I have to send you away tonight”, you press out.

Jimin feels weird in his stomach. This isn’t going to end well. This is going to hurt him.

He keeps holding you in an attempt to drag out the inevitable.

“I am sure that none of your maids will come here tonight”, he acts oblivious in hopes of steering the conversation into another direction.

“No. No, I have to send you away. I cannot do this right now.”

“Do you want me to stop hugging you?”

“No, of course I don’t, but I have to send you away. I need time.”

Jimin falters. He shakes his head.

“Please, Jimin”, you whisper, placing your hands on his lower arms, “find it in yourself to understand me. I have too much going on, I cannot drag you along for it.”

“I’m your guard. There is no situation more suited for me than what you are currently experiencing. It is my duty to protect you from harm”, he slides his hand to where your heart races, “especially harm on the heart”, he whispers.

“Jimin please”, you beg, “I cannot do this right now. I need time.”

Jimin blinks his tears away.

“Time for what?” he asks quietly.

“Time to think and to come up with what I should do and how I should handle the dangers of being such a small, unmarried country with such dangerous neighbours.”

“You can do those things with me by your side.”

“Yes, indeed I can. As my guard.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You can think about these things with me as your lover as well.”

“I’m sorry. I need time. Everything feels like too much.”

“I don’t want to leave tonight.”

“Neither do I want you to, Jimin!” you say loudly, standing up and therefore breaking the hug. You turn, placing your hands on his chest, “I have to do all this thinking so I do not have to send you away anymore. Do you not understand? I am widowed, Queen of a weak country and I cannot be caught with my guard sleeping in my bed. If people caught you, rumours would start. Rumours that you were compliant in my husband’s death so you could seduce me.”

You shake him by his collar, squeezing out tears.

“And I would have to choose between executing you to make an example or running away from here and making us a target for every possible assassin on the continent.”

Jimin shakes his head.

“You speak of impossible futures. Such things would never happen.”

“I cannot risk it, Jimin. I just simply cannot. Please give me time. Please, I will fix this. Please, I simply need time.”

Jimin takes a deep breath. He will do something that he will hopefully not regret.

“Very well”, he gives in, “I will give you time. I will fulfil my duties as your guard and give you time.”

“Thank you so much”, you say, cupping his cheeks to pull him into a kiss. This is the last thing you should be doing right now, but you can’t help yourself. You need him like you need air.

Jimin deepens the kiss with his hand on your lower back and his other cupping your cheek. He doesn’t want to stop, to let go, to end this. Once that kiss ends, you will send him away and he will return to being nothing more than your guard. You speak of temporary distance. Jimin sees that you need it as your mind produces futures most impossible and you clearly need the time to rid your mind of them. But he is scared that this isn’t temporary. That perhaps your heart won’t change, but fate will. That life will be cruel enough to force it to change.

You break the kiss.

“Not yet please”, Jimin begs, chasing you.

“Jimin, please”, you beg, fleeing him, “please make it easier for me.”

“Then you shouldn’t have kissed me. You shouldn’t have given me a glimpse of you.”

“Please…I….please.”

“Just one more kiss. Please.”

“And then you will beg for one more and then we will end up in bed and I couldn’t possibly send you away.”

“And what would be so terrible about this? A storm is coming. The night will be cold. Allow me to keep you warm”, he caresses your cheek, “___.”

You let out a small whimper, twisting the hair at the back of his head.

“I curse you”, you get out and pull him back into a kiss.

Jimin doesn’t leave your chambers tonight. But he leaves them tomorrow with the same promise between you and him which he gave you last night. He will give you time.

He shouldn’t have given you time.

Jimin finally knows why he never should have made such a promise.

Fate proved him right and now he has to pay the consequences. Your queendom was attacked. But not in the way one might expect, but in a way far worse anyone could have ever imagined. It was attacked by a flood of suitors begging for your hand in marriage. It has been weeks and the proposals won’t stop. He has to stand by your side and has listen to the disgusting yapping of boring men while you pretended to be somewhat interested in what they had to say.

Perhaps the weeks would have been easier to bear if you gave him a feeling as if you and he weren’t over. But you didn’t. You didn’t call for him at night, didn’t visit him in his chambers, stopped visiting the secret spots you and he so often had found yourselves in to kiss and hug. You even stopped looking at him from the other side of the room or going on walks just so he could follow.

You acted as if he was just another one of your guards and it ripped him apart. He aches for you and yet you seem so indifferent about him. Jimin already began wondering if you ever really loved him as he loved you.

Today, the fates were especially cruel to him.

One of your suitors invited you to a hunting party and because Jimin was your most trusted guard, he had to come along, trailing behind you as this boring, ugly man spit his attempts at seducing you. Jimin could speak to his fellow knights or listen to some of the other noble people coming along for the hunt, but he didn’t want to listen. Not when he had to watch you get seduced by someone as ugly as Lord Frail. It should be a crime that someone like him even looks at you.

The hunt takes your party of ten noble people, a handful of servants and ten guards deep into your queendom’s forests. Tough conifer trees filled the forests and sharp thorns covered the parts which weren’t paths. Dark green ferns broke up the thick thorn carpets and the scent of the ocean followed you.

“The weather’s good for a hunt. Wouldn’t you say, Sire?”

Jimin turns his head to the right as someone clearly addressed him. One of his fellow Queen’s Guards. He joined them a year ago and looked up to Jimin a lot.

“I guess”, Jimin murmurs, looking back at you and the boring Lord Frail.

“The winds are in our favour. I am sure we’ll be successful.”

“I am sure we will.”

“Have you been on many hunting trips before, Sire?”

“Yes, the late Queen, ___’s mother, took me on trips the moment I began serving as her knight.”

“Huh. I sometimes forget that you and the Queen shared adolescence with each other. I would never dare to call her by her name, but it must be common to you.”

Jimin tenses his jaw for a moment. It stopped being common when you and he both passed your second decade on this earth. Before then, you and he always addressed each other with the other’s name. You played together, danced together, ate at the same table and called each other like two childhood friends. But as age changed you and him, your different ranks became so painfully obvious to both of you. You grew up to be the Princess and future Queen of Windfell, while Jimin stayed a common knight. But even as your name stopped being a common thing for Jimin, you and he never grew apart. Age just tied you tighter together until your husband died and you asked for time. The cliff between you and him had never been that big before and Jimin is aching.

“Yes”, he presses out with a heavy heart, “yes, it was common once.”

“I see. You seem to care a lot for her, Sire.”

Jimin sneaks a glance at the knight.

“As someone, who watched her grow up to be the Queen she is these days, can care about her. Yes.”

“This is good, Sire”, the knight says and takes a deep breath, “the winds are on our sides, I can smell it.”

Jimin relaxes his shoulders now that the conversation shifted back to something less nerve wrecking. One wrong word and he could destroy what you and he built. He glances at you. That is, if fate hadn’t already destroyed it.

The hunting party reaches a clearing, gathering in a small circle so you could converse. Jimin places himself next to you, scanning his eyes over your surroundings.

“We shall go in five groups so we can cover more ground”, you order, “I shall take Lord Frail and we shall meet back here once the sun moved past this mountain.”

The hunting party looks at the high mountain in the distance. The sun will take some time to pass the mountain peak.

“Understood.”

“Very well, take two guards each and be careful not to get hurt. We have seen enough death this year”, you say and turn your horse, looking into Jimin’s eyes, “I want you to come with me.”

“My Queen”, he says, nodding his head. He waves his hand so the knight, who talked to him, follows as well and then your small group is already off.

The hunt turns out to be less painful as Jimin imagined it to be. And it was Lord Frail’s fault. Your small group had put some distance between the party and the group when he broke the silence.

“You spoke of death this year. Have you lost someone, your highness?”

Jimin almost cursed at the stupid man, but stayed silent, looking at your face instead. Shock, anger, disbelief. It all washed over your features upon being asked such a tactless question.

“Did you truly just ask me that?” you press out angrily, “I lost my husband but two months ago.”

“Oh yes! Oh how stupid of me! That is why I am here!” Lord Frail laughs, “please forgive me, I am quite forgetful in my old age.”

“Yes, you seem to be”, you say and turn your head away from him. It was clear to Jimin that you were furious.

“The weather seems to be on our side today, wouldn’t you agree?” Lord Frail continued the conversation as if nothing happened.

“Yes, indeed it is”, you answered each of his questions coldly.

“It is already long into the year, but the autumn takes its time this year. I am quite pleased with it. My old joints do not agree with the cold.”

“That is awful.”

“Yes, yes indeed it is. However, colder weather also means more frequent baths. I do not believe in bathing for cleanliness, but I enjoy warming my old bones in a bath once the weather is cold.”

“I couldn’t even tell that you do not believe in baths, my Lord.”

Jimin has to bite down on his tongue in order not to laugh. The sarcasm drips from your voice.

“Of course, of course”, Lord Frail runs his eyes up and down your body, “do you enjoy baths, Your Highness?” he asks and the implications are obvious in his voice.

Jimin almost drew his sword on him, sending him a deathly glare over your shoulder.

“Yes I do.”

Jimin looks at you in surprise. Why would you say that?

“I prefer to take them alone.”

Jimin relaxes again.

“Oh, ohuohuo”, Lord Frail laughs, “you are a jester, Your Highness.”

“Hahaha”, you practically pronounce your laughter, “I am indeed. A fucking jester.”

“Forgive me?” Lord Frail gasps.

You look away, studying the trees, “nothing”, you murmur and roll your shoulders, “we should split up. I believe that I heard a hog along this path. You should check it out, Lord Frail. I will take this path down along this stream.”

“But shouldn’t we-”

You do not give him time to finish his sentence and then you have already turned your horse and nudged it into a full sprint.

“Hya! Hya!” you encourage it.

Jimin follows you close by, keeping a careful watch on you because a sense of recklessness surrounds you.

“Slow down!” he calls out, “there is a slippery bridge coming!”

He knows that it is slippery because the ground never dries in these forests and nature has grown over the stone bridge and made it slippery. You and he took this path countless times before. Up until now these forests witnessed nothing but good memories between you and him.

“My Queen, slow down!” he tells you.

You are too fast, speeding up on the last meters.

“___ no!” Jimin screams and watches with horror as you leap over the small stream. He tugs his horse into a stop, gasping for air as he tries to recover from the shock.

You slow the horse down on the other side, turning it skilfully. Your face is glowing from your skin catching the fog, the creases between your brows disappeared.

“Did you see that?” you call out to him, smiling, “I managed this so easily.”

“Yes and almost killed me from fright in the process”, Jimin says, trotting over the bridge.

You laugh, “nothing happened. You worry too much.”

“Worrying is my duty, of course I do”, he says, joining your side.

You snicker. You and he have a comfortable tempo with your horses, swaying from side to side naturally. You take a deep breath, lifting your head.

“I haven’t ran like this in ages. It felt good to do.”

“I worried that you might hurt yourself.”

“Wasn’t I the one to teach you how to ride?” you ask in a chuckle, “you should trust in me more.”

“Of course you taught me, but I also remember the countless times where you ran recklessly and fell.”

“Indeed and yet I never hurt myself.”

“I remember differently. You cried each time you fell.”

“This is a lie and you know that”, you say, reaching over to slap his arm gently.

Jimin laughs with you, reaching over to slap your arm right back.

“I don’t lie.”

You nudge him again, “yes, you do. You liar.”

You and he laugh together and in this moment it felt as if you were fourteen of age again, laughing in the forests after an afternoon of mischief. You and he exchange a look. It was clear to each of you that you thought the same. Growing up is cruel when it meant that two friends of mutual respect have to act as if one was more important in society than the other.

You break the eye contact first, taking a deep breath. Jimin twists the reigns, swallowing down the heavy lump in his throat.

“I cannot stand Lord Frail”, you confess.

“I could tell. You cursed.”

“You heard that?” you laugh, throwing your head back.

It has been too long since Jimin last saw you laugh so honestly. It fills his heart with happiness and so he finds himself laughing with you.

“Oh, I couldn’t help myself. He angered me so much”, you are still laughing as you speak, shaking your head in disbelief, “I mean, who in their right mind forgets something as detrimental as my husband’s death? That is the very reason why I agreed to this charade in the first place.”

“As you said, he’s not right in the mind. He doesn’t believe in baths.”

“Yes, one couldn’t smell this at all.”

You and Jimin laugh and it felt so good to do. Life was correct right now. Life wasn’t cruel because you and he could laugh together.

“Oh, how wonderful”, you end the laugh with a soft swipe under your eyes as if to dry your tears.

“You know”, Jimin begins.

“Mhm?” you hum, granting him a warm look.

“Jinus made me think of us and how long we have known each other already. How long has it been? Fifteen years?”

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen?”

You nod your head, “we were eleven when I found you on the streets of your village. Remember? You were covered in ash and threatened to beat me with a stick.”

Jimin laughs, “I did! Oh, I forgot.”

You laugh with him, “but you changed your mind once I brought you food. Remember?”

“Of course I remember. I was starving and scared. I wouldn’t have been able to beat you.”

“Oh, I was aware. You looked weak.”

You and Jimin laugh. The forest paths fill with sunlight and the sweet scent of resin. Neither he nor you had noticed until now, how much sunlight fell down on the earth today.

“But we helped you grow strong, didn’t we?”

“Yes, you really did. I found my home with you.”

“Oh”, you let out, exchanging a sheepish look with him.

“Forgive me”, he whispers.

“Don’t worry”, you assure him quietly.

The sunlight dies down again. The scent of resin gets less.

You slow down your horses as the path melts into a small clearing. You jump off the horse. Jimin does the same. You and he choose two small trees to secure your horses on. Equipped with your bow and his sword, you leave the path to wander through the denser forest instead. He is by your side because right now, it is just the two of you and there is no societal rule keeping you apart.

“I apologise for what I said”, Jimin says.

“Don’t apologise”, you assure him, giving him a warm yet yearning look, “I feel glad that you found a home here. Life wouldn’t be the same without you”, you tell him and it is the first time in weeks where you show him that you cared for him. Jimin swallows down his overwhelming emotions to instead give you a smile.

When you retort it, he takes a step closer to you, brushing his finger against your hand. When you don’t pull away, he reaches for you truly and intertwines his fingers with you. You give him a squeeze instinctively.

“Fuck”, you whisper, looking away, “you have to stop doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Reminding me what I feel for you”, you say.

“I won’t ever stop doing this”, he says, eliciting a small laugh from you.

You shake your head, looking at him with fond eyes.

“You are too stubborn.”

“I know”, Jimin says and tugs you closer. You let him, falling into him while he places his hands on your waist. You and he stop in your tracks. Ferns surround you. The sunlight breaks through the trees and illuminates his features beautifully.

You want to kiss him. You want to cup his cheeks and trace his features. You want to call him yours and love him openly.

Seventeen years. There is no constant in your life which has been with you for as long as Jimin has. There is no person in this world who knows you as well as Jimin does. In front of everyone else you have to pretend, to act a certain way, to hide parts of yourself. But not in front of Jimin. There is no person who makes you feel more like yourself than he.

And there is no person you want to be with more than him.

He moves in, nudging your cheek with his nose to test the waters. You close your eyes because you couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Jimin please”, you whisper, exhaling deeply as you move your head away slightly. You look at him even if it is difficult.

“It’s been weeks.”

“We had to go longer than this in the past.”

“But this is different.”

“Jimin, why can’t you-”

A blood curling scream interrupts you before the situation could escalate into a fight. You and Jimin look at where it came from.

“Did you hear this as well?”

“I did.”

“Help! Help!”

You and he exchange a look and spring into a sprint. The fight lies forgotten for now.

You reach your horses quickly, working skilfully to mount them and gallop off. You and Jimin ran together and rode horses next to each other ever since you were children. You taught him how to ride a horse and he taught you how to climb a tree. You didn’t even need words to find perfect synchronisation in your jumps and gallops because acting like a team has been a part of you ever since you were children.

The owner of the screams turns out to be Lord Frail. Covered in muddy water from the stream and without a horse or guard in sight.

“Lord Frail, what happened?” you gasp, slowing down your horse carefully.

“The foolish horse slipped on this bridge and threw me off! It ran off without me!”

You and Jimin exchange a look. What a fool.

“How terrible. Did you hurt yourself, Lord Frail?” you ask without honesty in your voice.

“Of course I did! Look!” he shows off the small graze on his elbow.

Jimin snorts, hiding his laughter behind his hand. You send him a warning look, fighting the toughest battle in trying not to laugh as well.

“How terrible. Where is your guard?”

“I sent him off to get the cursed animal. Horse stew should be made with it! Foolish horse.”

“I am sure that it merely startled”, you tell him and send Jimin a look. He retorts it. He thinks the same. Of course someone like Lord Frail would blame the horse and not his own inability to ride.

Lord Frail stomps his foot.

“So what now? Should I walk?”

You take a deep breath in order not to curse at him.

“Of course not”, you say with a faked smile, “Jimin, give Lord Frail your horse.”

Jimin tenses his jaw, “yes, my Queen”, he says and gets off. He leads his horse to the clumsy man and presses the reins into his hands roughly. The man seems confused at the dark look he receives from the knight, but doesn’t say anything.

He merely points at the ground.

“You know what to do.”

Jimin considers drawing his sword and slicing this idiot’s belly open. But he doesn’t, instead he gets on all fours so the clumsy sack can climb on his horse. He presses into Jimin’s back painfully, forcing him to growl angrily. It goes unnoticed by the man as he is too busy yapping about how much taller this horse is and that it was too good for a knight.

Jimin stands back up, cleaning off the dirt from his clothes aggressively while his eyes murdered the man.

“Now where to next?” Lord Frail asks, sitting proudly on the horse which you gave Jimin after he became a knight.

“The castle. I grew rather cold”, you say dryly, studying Jimin with guilty eyes.

“Cold you say? That is a bother. Let’s go then”, Lord Frail says and looks at Jimin, “I assume he walks. Oh, ohuohuo how tragic”, he says and rides off with snickers leaving him.

Jimin feels hot in anger. Perhaps if he threw his sword just right, he could knock this twat off his horse without killing him.

The sound of hooves beside him rips him back to reality. He turns and lifts his head. You are shielding the sun from him, standing right beside him and looking down from your horse.

“I understand. I’m walking”, he hisses and sets off.

He gets as far as three steps and then he realises that you are riding next to him. He stops again, looking up at you.

You scoot to the front of your saddle.

“I do not want you to walk.”

Softness washes over his features.

“Come up here”, you tell him, nodding your head behind you.

“Very well.”

Jimin gets on your horse without hesitation. The saddle is built in a way so that you and he could share it with some discomfort. It results in his middle to press against your behind. You rub against each other with every step the horse takes. You try to ignore how it makes you feel, while Jimin tries not to close his eyes.

“Is this comfortable for you?” you ask.

“Yes”, Jimin places his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your shoulder. His hands run up and down your corseted waist. His warmth seeps deep into your skin, “it’s comfortable”, he speaks softly and steals a kiss to your neck.

Lord Frail is enough steps ahead of you that he doesn’t notice it.

Your heart is beating unbearably. Jimin is so close to you, touching you and sharing warmth. His neck kiss still lingers on your skin, even now that he is resting his chin on your shoulder again. You brought yourself into this situation, but it is still almost impossible to bear.

“What if he sees us?” you whisper.

“I truly wish that you wouldn’t consider this twat as a husband”, Jimin ignores your warnings, staring holes into Lord Frail’s head.

“I’m not. It wasn’t mannerly of him to use you as a stool. I apologise. He is indeed a twat.”

“Mhm, one that stinks as well. I will have to buy a new saddle and burn the other.”

He makes you laugh. Loudly. Lord Frail looks over his shoulder. Jimin was thankfully quick enough to change his position so he wasn’t resting his chin on your shoulder and his arms around you. His hands rest on your hips now, hidden from view in your coat. The touch is heavy on your skin, seeping into your deepest fibres.

“That is a peculiar view. I thought he would walk.”

“It is quite far to the castle. I take great care of my knights.”

“I can see that. He’s an ill-mannered lad. He sent me dirty looks.”

“That is merely how he looks when he is on duty.”

Lord Frail looks at Jimin and his darkened eyes. He looks away again, fixing his collar.

“I see. Well, I don’t like it.”

“If you know yourself to behave, you mustn’t worry.”

“I am a very mannerly fella.”

“I doubt that, Lord Frail”, you say, masking the poison with a laugh, “after all, you used my knight as a stepping stool.”

“Oh well, yes”, Lord Frail laughs because he thought the situation to be a laughing matter, “he is sturdier than I thought.”

“You misunderstand me, Lord Frail. I wasn’t jesting. You do not use my knights as stepping stools.”

Lord Frail stops laughing. He looks at you with widened eyes. The smile from your face was gone. You weren’t jesting.

“My apologies, Your Highness”, he presses out even if it clearly hurts his pride.

“I am not the one to apologise to.”

Lord Frail looks at Jimin. The dark haired knight is carrying triumph on his features.

“His name is Jimin. Say it with respect”, you say coldly.

Lord Frail flares his nostrils and opens his mouth.

“My apologies, Sir Jimin”, he mumbles, frowning in distaste afterwards.

“Very well”, you say and click your tongue, telling your horse to speed up with a gentle nudge of your feet.

The horse listens well, galloping off so you could put some distance between you and the ill-mannered lord. He should know that he wasted his chance.

Galloping on a horse with Jimin behind you is difficult. Not only because sharing a saddle minimises the support you have, but also because he is rubbing against you. The thick, sturdy leather of his pants against your own thick leather thankfully masks some of the sensation, but it was there nonetheless.

You slow down soon, passing the convoy in a slow trot. You ignore the curious looks people send you, calling out orders instead.

“If one may see a horse without a rider, return it to Lord Frail. The fool lost it!”

“Yes, Your Highness”, they answer you and pretend that seeing your knight ride behind you without any distance between you and him was a normal sight to see.

“We will ride straight back to the castle. Is Jinus back already?”

“Yes, my Queen he is back with the others.”

“Very well.”

There were two reasons for why you decided to ride to the front. You were the Queen and you needed Lord Frail to know that he lost his spot by your side. And being in the front meant that Jimin couldn’t touch you again. He has been running his hands up and down your hips and thighs ever since you put Lord Frail into his place and it is getting very difficult to concentrate. Thankfully, your riding coat covers his hands from creeping eyes, but you knew that they were there and it is making your thoughts blur.

“I will assume that your sword needs fixing”, you tell him quietly enough that hopefully only he can hear.

“Mhm yes, my sword needs polishing”, Jimin answers you, sending heat to your face.

You hide the giggle wanting to escape by covering your mouth, lowering your head for just a second. Jimin squeezes your softness under the coat, chuckling deeply. Even through the thick layer of leather you could feel the strength behind his touch.

You straighten up, “Jimin, I am serious. Please fix your sword.”

“It is hard to fix when it’s in my pants.”

“Lower your voice”, you hiss.

“It is hard to fix when it is in my pants”, Jimin whispers, letting the words swirl against your neck.

“I am not jesting.”

“Neither am I.”

You swallow heavily. His touch is unbearable to handle.

“My Queen”, thankfully – or perhaps sadly – Frigga catches up to your side. Jimin slides his hands from your coat, placing them on your waist instead. He needs to hold on somewhere and this was the most logical place. It isn’t easier to bear.

“Yes, Frigga?” you ask her, hoping that your breathlessness goes unnoticed.

“What shall I tell the cooks to prepare tonight now that the hunt bared no fruit?”

“Whatever they find on the markets. I am certain there are lovely fish to buy.”

“Understood. Is Lord Frail staying for dinner?”

“No. No, as a matter of fact I wish to eat dinner in my chambers. I have had enough of dutiful chattering.”

“I understand”, Frigga looks at Jimin with a sense of knowing in her eyes, “will Jimin bring you dinner?”

The knowing grows. You feel yourself panic. Jimin’s presence behind you feels burdensome.

“Why would you ask such a thing?” you gasp.

“Because he always brings you dinner. My Queen, what did you believe that I was saying?”

“Nothing. I, uhm, nothing. It doesn’t matter”, you stutter.

Frigga studies you and Jimin together.

“I understand”, she says and slows down her horse to put some distance between you and her.

The rest of the ride back was silent until Lord Frail gallops to the front clumsily.

“Your Highness, I must ask for clarification. Am I staying for dinner?”

“No, you are not.”

“Is it because I used your knight as a stepping stool?”

“It is because you are ill-mannered and quite frankly, you reek.”

Jimin laughs quietly behind you, squeezing your waist. You could swear that he rolled his hips against you. You bite down on your tongue to distract yourself.

“Oh that is”, Lord Frail searches for words. In the end, he decides on scrunching his nose in distaste and leaving with a mumbled, “manner less wench.”

“What did you just call her?” Jimin hisses, trying to draw his sword.

“Let him be”, you say, “he’s just a lord. His house consists of him and his servants.”

Jimin sends Lord Frail one last dark look and then he won’t ever see him again.

The ride home continues to be silent from then on and Lord Frail will leave the castle without receiving another word from you.

The horse Lord Frail borrowed from your castle waits by the stables once you return. You greet it with pets behind its ears and apologies for having to carry someone as smelly as Lord Frail. The horse seems to care rather little about what you say. You leave it by the stables, making your way to your chambers.

Jimin follows you.

You turn when you realise his presence.

“Why are you following me?”

Jimin glances down at his crotch. Your eyes follow his line of sight.

“I think you misunderstood something. I am leaving to get changed.”

“So am I”, Jimin says, taking a step closer.

“Jimin, please.”

“Riding with you messed with my mind”, he says, closing in on you until he could touch your waist.

“I could feel it.”

“I couldn’t help myself. I keep thinking about you and being so close to you, it reminded me how much I want to be with you.”

You are so weak in his presence. You truly wanted to keep distance to him, to give yourself time to think and to perhaps give him a chance to move on and yet you are back where you started, craving nothing but his presence. You miss him when you wake, when you fall asleep and when you see wonderful stuff you know he would love to see. Sharing such a laughter-filled afternoon with him, having him close as you rode and being reminded of how far you and he go back, reignited every single flame you tried to kill.

“Jimin, I…” you begin, placing your hands on his chest. His heart is racing just as quickly as yours does.

Jimin closes in, lowering his eyes halfway as he gazes at your lips. You inch closer, getting lost in the view of his lips.

“Oh, there you are my Queen”, Frigga says, stopping in her steps as he watches you and Jimin scramble to break apart.

“Are you feeling better now, my Queen? Do you still feel weak in the knees?” Jimin lies, holding your waist.

“Yes, I feel better. Thank you for catching me, Sire”, you lie, meeting Frigga’s eyes, “oh Frigga, how lucky that you are here. Might you help me out of my clothes? I suddenly feel terribly weak from riding.”

Frigga clears her throat, keeping her thoughts to herself. She hurries to your side and supports you, taking over for Jimin this way. She leads you away from him.

“Yes, my Queen. Shall I send for the physician?” she asks.

“No, no I am sure that food and something to drink will help me greatly.”

“I understand, then we will…”

The rest of the conversation dies out in Jimin’s ears as you and Frigga cross the corner and therefore disappear from his sight.

Jimin takes a deep breath, touching his chest where his heart races. He doesn’t feel bad, he feels hopeful. Of course he is upset that you and he got interrupted, but if Frigga hadn’t interrupted you and him, he would have been close to you again. You leaned in for a kiss. You haven’t given up on him yet. He giggles to himself, doing a small jump before he hurries away in happy skips. Today wasn’t as terrible as he thought it to be.

He will wash up and then wait for you in the hallways. Knowing your traditions, you will leave your chambers for a book from the library and that is when he will catch you again. Yes, that is his plan for the remaining day.

Jimin eats food in the dining hall with the others. He listens to Jinus talk about how awful Lord Frail’s company was and in return, Jimin tells him how he had to act as his stepping stool. The two knights proceed to call the lord many names, which will not be documented in these writings but one can imagine of what nature they were. After dinner, he still had to partake in an hour of training, but different than on other days, Jimin felt good. He felt happy and hopeful and terribly excited for what the night will bring.

Jimin tells the knights to have a good sleep after training and he makes his way to the library. He meets Frigga and your maids on his way, greeting them with a bright smile. Frigga’s eyes keep lingering on him, but Jimin ignores it, continuing his way to the library. He won’t be witness to the knowing gasp Frigga releases once she realises where his path will take him.

The library is empty during this hour of the day, but Jimin doesn’t let it intimidate him. He knows where to find you. You particularly enjoy the cultural section and always find yourself lost in the books. Tonight is no different. Dressed in a simple night gown and with your hair vast of jewellery, you stand by the cultural section with a book in your hand.

Jimin increases his steps, smiling so brightly his cheeks hurt. He begins running those last few steps. He cannot wait to be with you again.

You turn your head at the sound of steps in sync with Jimin sweeping you off your feet and pressing you against the shelf. You wanted to scream in shock, but don’t get to as Jimin claims your lips in a deep kiss.

The book falls to the ground, your lips tremble against his'. Your surprised sounds get swallowed by him.

Jimin rolls his hips into you and sighs, sucking on your lower lip as his heart races in his chest. He missed your kisses so much. He missed surprising you with them and how you always clutch him especially tightly as a result.

Tonight however, your desperate touch doesn’t come. Tonight, your hand presses itself between your lips as you begin wiggling in his hands until he can’t help but drop you.

“I don’t understand”, he confesses.

“Why would you do this? I gave you no permission”, you spit, carrying anger on your features.

“I, I thought that, that. You love when I surprise you here.”

“You have no idea what I want. All you care about is yourself”, you spit and push him away.

Jimin stumbles back, hitting the opposite bookshelf. His heart aches in his chest. Your words cut so very deep.

You turn and run away.

“I don’t understand. Why are you saying this?” he gets out, running after you, “my Queen what happened? Why are you acting this way?”

“I never should have come here. I’m such a fool”, you murmur to yourself.

“My Queen”, Jimin insists, touching your wrist gently, “what happened? I’m sorry for surprising you, I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.”

You turn around, looking at him with glassy eyes. Jimin closes in on you, carrying honest regret in his eyes.

“What’s the matter? Is it me? I’m sorry for acting like this.”

“She asked me about you, Jimin”, you get out with fear in your voice, “she knows what we are”, you add and continue your way back to your chambers.

“What? Wait, what?” Jimin stutters, “wait. What are you saying?” he asks as he begins running after you.

“Go away, Jimin”, you tell him, increasing your steps.

“Who asked about me?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. We are so wrong.”

“Who asked about me?” Jimin insists with increasing panic in his chest. He doesn’t like how you talk or how you act.

“Frigga. She saw that we touched each other and asked what it meant.”

“And what did you say?”

“Please, leave me alone. Please”, you beg, leaving the library. It isn’t far to your chambers anymore.

“My Queen”, Jimin follows you, “my Queen, please.”

You increase your steps. Tonight is not a good night for this. You feel weakened in spirit and crave his gentle touch. Frigga asked about him. She asked if perhaps you felt more for him than just friendship. You didn’t know what to say and so you sent her away. Now you are frightened. You do not want the public to find out and therefore shame Jimin. You can’t be responsible for him losing his honour. You are so scared and the worst of this situation was, that you craved his hugs as remedy.

“My Queen, please allow me but a moment”, he begs, taking one step where you take two. He knows these hallways well enough to be aware that he doesn’t have long until you can flee into your chambers, “please just a fleeting moment. I do not require much time.”

“You should go to bed, Jimin. It is too late”, you tell him, taking a sharp turn to the left. Your chambers are so close to reach.

“___ beloved, please.”

You falter in your steps. Your name from his lips stole your ability to walk. No one knows that he calls you beloved, whispered when he is deep inside you or gasped when you sink down on him. It happened naturally, he didn’t realise at first that these syllables fell from his tongue until you kissed him deeper than you ever had before and stole his breath in the process. Ever since then, your name followed by a term of endearment leaves him during moments most intimate. To be called this way right now, here in the dark, cold hallway where longing gets so painful to bear, robs you of every step you wanted to take. Jimin stops in order not to run into you. You don’t turn, but you also don’t run away anymore. You are breathing heavily, balling your hands into fists.

Jimin steps closer and brushes his hand down your arm. You tense up, biting your own lower lip to stop it from trembling. His touch returns warmth to your skin. Warmth, you missed like lungs miss air and plants miss sunlight.

“Please stop pushing me away. We can solve this together”, he speaks quietly, sharing a secret only meant for you.

A step closer.

His calloused hand closes around your elbow. You close your eyes. To be touched by him is the most painful of dreams. Why must he feel so good?

“I know that you are hurting. Please allow me take care of you”, he whispers, looking at your neck with longing, “allow me to ease the aches. Like I always did.”

You want to speak, but can’t. You can’t form words as the only word your tongue craves to produce is his name.

His arm lays itself around your waist and tugs you into his chest.

His heart is hammering against his ribcage. His warmth engulfs you in burning flames. Tears escape your eyes and leave cold trails down your cheeks.

His hand closes on your waist and squeezes. The touch digs into the deepest parts of you. It is so familiar and yet so foreign. A comfort estranged because of the distance you forced yourselves to be in.

“I miss you”, Jimin whispers with trembling emotion in his voice and brushes his nose against your neck. Vanilla and honey. He missed your scent so much.

You miss him as well. You miss his laughter, his voice, his embrace and the tenderness of his kisses. You miss him when you fall asleep, you miss him when you wake up and you miss him during the day. The grief for your late husband is only for the public, for the true reason you are grieving is your lost love with Jimin. You ache without him.

“It’s late Sire, go to bed”, you force the words out, stepping out of the hug even if you didn’t want to.

“My Queen…”

You leave without looking back because if you did, you would have fallen around his neck and begged him to stay. You can’t allow yourself to give in.

Jimin doesn’t follow you that night and you cry yourself to sleep.

He is talking. He should be the one asking questions and listening, but instead he has been talking about himself for the past hour. His name was Landor. Another suitor begging for a chance to be your second husband. He promises you lands in the north and strong children in the belly. Both of which sounded terrible to you.

He is currently laughing at one of his fooleries. You don’t think it entertaining and so you don’t laugh. He snorts as his way of stopping his bone twisting laughter, looking at you with self-assured confidence. He must think himself to be the most entertaining of fellow. He probably hadn’t even realised that you didn’t join his laughter.

“Thank you Sire, I shall send word with my decision”, you tell him and send him away with a flick of the wrist.

“My Queen, I await the splendid news with longing in my heart”, Landor says and leaves thinking that he completely charmed you. He won’t ever receive word from you.

The doors close and so you turn to your advisor.

“How much yapping do I still have to bear?” you ask her.

“There are still six contestants left, my Queen”, Frigga tells you and shows you the list. You skim over the names. None seems familiar to you and none catches your attention. Because none formed the name of the man you truly yearn for. You catch yourself looking at him.

He is standing behind Frigga, staring at the closed throne room doors with a stern expression. To others he seemed concentrated, but you know that he was upset. The tension in his jaw is familiar to you. You know that it only tortures his muscles when he is upset. He had this habit ever since he was a boy and on many nights, you soothed it away with soft touches to his jaw.

Jimin’s eyes flit to you, meeting your gaze for but a moment before you quickly look away. Your heart races unbearably. He caught you staring.

“Six, I see”, you press out, touching your own chest in hopes of calming down your heart, “bring in the next contestant.”

The doors open. You hope that it is enough to distract the people in the room and most importantly to distract Jimin. You glance at him again, feeling your heart twist in your chest. He is still looking at you, carrying heartbreaking longing in his dark brown eyes. The longing grows when your gazes meet, the tension in his jaw riffles and tightens.

You seemed tired today. Jimin felt tired as well. He didn’t find a lot of sleep last night, repeating what happened in the dark hallways over and over again. He tried to find answers to understand why you keep pushing him away. He fell asleep without finding what he looked for. Even now, as he looks into your eyes, he can’t find it.

You are plagued by thoughts of your own. You miss him. You miss his embrace, his kiss and his hands which fit so perfectly in yours. You miss him.

“My Queen!”

The voice of the next contestant rips you back to reality. You break your eyes away from Jimin and look at the man before you.

The next contestant for your hand in marriage was taller than Landor. His hair was grey and a lot thinner already and he seemed to have used some sort of animal grease to smudge it back. You scrunch your nose at the view, already hating the interaction.

“My Queen!” he speaks loudly and bows deeply, “my name is Sir Kanneth from Kanneth Height and I am here to ask for your hand.”

“Yes I am aware. Tell me why I should consider taking you as my husband.”

“I shall tell you through song, my Queen!” he says and slides a lute from his back.

You bite back your exhausted sigh. He is one of those men. Annoying peacocks who believe their mediocre singing and terrible song writing will impress you. You listen to the man sing about his great adventures, wishing that it was over soon.

No voice could impress you, not when you know how Jimin sings. He doesn’t sing often, mostly during quiet moments of the night when the candles are almost burned down and you feel relaxed in his arms, but whenever he does, you find yourself wishing for time to slow down just so you could listen to him longer. You glance at Jimin again. He is furrowing his brows as he is forced to listen to the contestant sing. He turns his head, meeting your gaze.

The terrible melodies drown out in your ears as you get lost in Jimin’s eyes. If you got up and ran away with him, would your life be happy?

“Wonderful! Oh how wonderful!” the cheers and applause of the court rips you back to your sad reality.

Sir Kanneth finished his song, bowing his head at you. You lift your hands and begin clapping.

“Impressive”, you say coldly, carrying no honesty in the statement.

Sir Kanneth leaves the throne room twenty minutes later. He won’t receive word either.

Neither will the third nor fourth contestant of the day. The fifth one enters the throne room, bearing gifts. Foreign food, which seem to be of his home country. He appears to be of your age and carries himself well. His ruby hair was long and reflected the light and his clothes were made of the finest of silks. You watch him with interested eyes.

He bows.

“Thranduin is my name. I come from far, far in the west”, he bows deeply, “my dearest condolences for your incredible loss, Your Highness. I too lost my first wife to the seas and I understand your grief.”

“Thank you for your well wishes”, you tell him, running your eyes up and down his body, “you don’t look like my other suitors.”

“Oh no”, he laughs and you think his laugh to be passable, “but when I got news that Queen ___ of the beautiful country of Windfell seeks a new husband, I had to get on my dragon and see you.”

“You have dragons in your country?”

“Yes indeed we do. We receive our companions once we pass two decades. Smogwyn is his name and he is a wonderful companion. I could introduce you to him if you wish.”

You don’t think that conversation with Thranduin is terrible or boring. As a matter of fact, he intrigues you, which hurts one person in the room more than anyone else. Jimin, stood behind you and with a careful eye on you, he stands witness to the laughable attempts of charming you the other men perform. He celebrates whenever one of your suitors gets send away by you, he judges whenever one says ridiculous stuff and he suffers now that you are standing up from your chair to descend the stairs.

“I would love to meet your companion, Sire. I have always dreamed of seeing a dragon.”

“Then I shall introduce you to him. I promise he doesn’t bite.”

You laugh and while Thranduin seems delighted, Jimin almost bites his own teeth out from tensing his jaw so tightly.

His agonies continue as his duties drag him with you. He follows behind while you and Thranduin talk. He clutches the handle of his sword tightly while his mind produced the most sinister of thoughts. If he was quick enough, he could cut Thranduin’s head off and throw his body over the edge of the railing. The cliff would be high enough and the sea punishing enough to take care of the rest. Naturally, he doesn’t give in to his thoughts even if every laugh you spill because of this stranger makes him wish he did.

Smogwyn, the dragon, is outside the capital gates. Down the windy road which leads to the rocky beaches of the capital. People had already gathered on top the walls to look at the foreign animal. The dragon covers an impressive amount of land, dragging a gasp out of you.

“By the heavens, this animal is enormous!”

“Indeed he is, eventhough he is still growing.”

“He is? Oh how incredible. How big will he be once he stops growing?”

“About twice his current size.”

“Oh, I am awestruck. This is the most unbelievable thing I have ever seen.”

“Shall I call him to us?”

“Oh heavens I am a little frightened, but yes call him.”

Thranduin whistles with the help of his fingers.

The red scaled dragon lets out a grumble so deep the earth shakes and lifts his head. He takes a step where humans would have to take seven, shaking the water each time he connects his clawed foot with the ground.

You are standing on the high bridge which connects the capital with the Queendom’s many islands. The dragon reaches above the bridge, taking up your entire vision as he moves his head close.

You squeak in frightened excitement, stumbling back. Your hand closes around Jimin’s in instinct. His heart stops in his chest, his stomach clenches. You haven’t noticed that you are holding his hand as you are mesmerised by the dragon. Thranduin hasn’t noticed either, he is too preoccupied with petting his scaled companion.

“Oh, this is frightening”, you say and squeak in laughter.

The dragon moves his head, taking in your scent.

“Oh heavens”, you squeal, squeezing your eyes shut as the dragon’s nose stubs your body. He breathes in and exhales, blowing warm winds around your body and Jimin’s. The dust on the ground swirls, your dress sways aggressively. The air smells like glowing coal. But everything Jimin can take in, is your hand squeezing his’ and your back pressing against his chest as you flee from the dragon.

The dragon grumbles and lifts his head.

“Oh this was thrilling!” you exclaim, letting go of Jimin’s hand to clap. You jump on the spot, beaming at Thranduin, “a dragon smelled me! Oh Sire, I am bouncing in excitement. This was incredible!”

Jimin balls his hand to a tight fist, staring at your glowing face with pain in his heart. You gave him so much happiness with the touch and yet you haven’t even realised that you did it.

“He seems to enjoy your company, Your Highness”, Thranduin says, “I must say that I share this feeling with him.”

“Oh dear”, you fluster.

Jimin tenses his jaw, gripping the handle of his sword. He would most definitely be eaten by the dragon if he tried anything right now, but it would be worth it. This man angers him beyond imagination.

You step closer to Thranduin.

“May I touch him? Please just once.”

“Of course. Give me your hand, I shall guide you to him.”

And so Jimin has to watch as you place your hand into the palm of a stranger. This is the hand he held mere moments ago and now you are giving it away. Jimin forces down tears and turns his back to you. He can’t bear to watch this any longer. He can hear you squeal and squeak behind him as Thranduin, the twat, guides your hand over the rough scales of the dragon. He can hear you laugh and giggle as Thranduin calls out your beauty once again. And he can hear you talk with great vigour in your voice as you ask more questions about the dragons and the customs of Thranduin’s country.

He doesn’t look at you until it was time to leave for the castle again. And while he puts more distance between you and him, you seem to walk closer to Thranduin.

You stop by the throne room doors.

“Will you stay in Windfell for long, Sire?” you ask Thranduin.

“I can stay for as long as you wish me to, Your Highness. I have many more stories to tell”, Thranduin says, making you smile.

“Then you shall stay for dinner. I want to know everything you have to tell and try the foods you brought.”

“As you wish, Your Highness. I shall stay for dinner. I am certain that my country’s cuisine will bring you great enjoyment. Food is very important in our culture.”

“You have me interested, Sire. I enjoy food a great lot.”

“It seems that we share yet another similarity, Your Highness”, he says and makes you laugh.

Truly, Jimin wishes that he could slice him.

The sixth contestant of the day gets sent home with the promise that tomorrow will be another day, while Thranduin gets led to one of the empty guest quarters to prepare for dinner.

You hurry to your own chambers, followed by Frigga and Jimin. While Frigga helps you with getting dressed behind your privacy screen, Jimin is destined to stand by your door. He tries not to, but still looks at you. The privacy screen feels like mockery to him. Your naked body is a landscape most familiar to Jimin and yet you hide away from him. He is aware why you do it, as his explorations were secret to even Frigga, and he also knows that he has no right to your body even if you and he were husband and wife, but he still feels mocked today. Your friendly nature with Thranduin made him irrationally jealous and upset.

“He seemed to have caught your attention, my Queen”, Frigga says, twisting a knife in Jimin’s heart with her words.

“Oh yes, his dragon is most interesting”, you say, “I hope to hear many more stories about them.”

“My Queen, you make it sound as if everything which was intriguing about the man was his dragon”, Frigga jokes and laughs.

You falter for a moment. Frigga can’t see it as she is busy tying your dress at the back, but Jimin can. The privacy screen is low enough that your heads are still poking out. Jimin watches how a sort of realisation washes over you and how embarrassment replaces it.

“Well, I”, you let out a breathy laugh, lowering your head as you shake it, “you speak of silly things, Frigga.”

Frigga giggles, “my apologies. You know that I jest way too much.”

You laugh, nodding your head. But the realisation still remains on your features.

Jimin stares at it with a racing heart. Perhaps he looked at the entire situation with incorrect eyes. Perhaps Thranduin was never exciting to you, but the dragon and stories he brings. Perhaps the man will ruin his chances with you just as all the other men did. A dragon and little stories will only be interesting to you that long before you realise that the man itself won’t bring you satisfaction.

Your eyes flit to Jimin and meet his gaze and for the first time today, he feels confident in holding eye contact. You break it sooner than him, touching the side of your own neck. You don’t look at him again while Jimin feels his lips curl into a triumphant smile. Your eyes said everything he needed to know. You just lost interest in the man.

Fate however soon shows him that it wasn’t as easy as he thought it to be. You seem entirely entranced by the man’s every word during dinner. You look at him, laugh at his jokes, ask for more stories and once dinner ends, you ask him if he felt in the mood for honey wine in the castle gardens. And while Jimin wanted to follow you as your guard, you told him that he was free for the night, leaving him behind as you left for wine with Thranduin. Jimin felt so angered by the entire situation that he dared to kick the sturdy stone wall when nobody saw him.

The castle sleeps except for a few night owls still playing card games in the dining halls. They share wine and sweet delicacies of your country. Butter cookies with a pinecone jelly filling. The taste is most exquisite and goes excellent with the honey wine of the castle’s brewery. You drank quite a lot of the honey wine tonight, so much in fact that you try not to let the people see you as you hurry to your bed chambers. It would be beyond humiliating to show yourself in such a state to the public. It is already embarrassing enough that Thranduin had to help you to your feet as you felt too drunk to walk on your own. Speaking of the latter, you left him by his guest quarters, promising him breakfast in the dining hall tomorrow.

Frigga and your maids are asleep by now. You are glad that they are, because you couldn’t bear to hear their teasing comments about your intoxicated state. They would most definitely think your jolly nature to be of love drunk origin, but it wasn’t. You were drunk. Nothing less and nothing more. Thranduin was good company, his stories were thrilling and you loved learning about dragons. He was also very handsome and a scent of what he called a “coconut” surrounded him. But you didn’t find your heart beating faster for him. He felt more like a good friend to you than a potential husband. You were too drunk to think about the meaning of said feelings however, all you knew is that you had a good evening and that you felt ready for bed.

You slip inside your chambers, closing the doors behind you. You use them to catch your balance for a moment, propping your hand against the wood as you take a few deep breaths. You are jolly drunk, by the heavens.

You let a small giggle escape. It has been too long since you last felt that carefree. You missed the feeling so incredibly much.

“Ah heavens”, you let out and turn to hurry to the dressing area. You want to get out of your clothes. They have been torturing you for too long.

It is a rather difficult task to undress. It is already very hard to do alone on a sober day and with the additional help of alcohol, it gets almost impossible. You find yourself sitting down on the floor and undoing the intricate lacing of your dress this way. You also take off your jewellery this way, giggling to yourself because you felt rather silly sitting on the floor. Truly, you feel so entirely carefree tonight.

You abandon your clothes and jewellery on the ground, stepping from behind the privacy screen in nothing but your undergarments. You need to take the hair jewellery out and take care of your skin and then you can finally fall into bed. You stumble past your bed, letting out a loud scream when you see a figure sitting on it. You squint your eyes to see better.

“Jimin?!” you exclaim, stumbling closer, “by heavens, you gave me such a fright! I believed you to be an intruder. Oh dear”, you giggle at first until realisation overcomes you, “why are you in my chambers? Have you always been here? Did you sit in silence like a ghost while I undressed?!”

Jimin nods his head. He is wearing nothing more than a thigh-length sleeping tunic and some comfortable linen pants. His sword is on the mattress beside him and his hair lacks volume from brushing it.

“Why would you do such a thing?”

“You seem drunk”, he ignores your question, scanning his eyes up and down your body.

“Indeed I am. I drank way too much honey wine.”

“I can see that. You shouldn’t drink that much. You’re the queen.”

“Oh come now”, you let out a mocking scoff, “did you truly just say that?”

He nods his head, tightening his jaw.

“This isn’t yours to say.”

“I worry.”

“Well, don’t. It soils my mood.”

Jimin tongues his cheek, lowering his eyes in annoyance.

You break your eyes away from him and walk to your dressing table. You don’t feel as jolly drunk anymore as you did before. As a matter of fact, you feel rather terrible. He was the reason why you drank so much. You wanted to forget him and the burning feelings you harbour for him and seeing him on your bed presented in such an intimate way brought everything, you managed to forget about, back to the surface. You are so irrationally angry at him.

Jimin watches you barely manage to sit down. If the chair wasn’t as sturdy in its balance as it was, you most definitely would have doubled over.

You begin taking out your hair pearls, doing so with swaying shoulders and lazy eyes.

Jimin takes a deep breath and gets up from bed. He walks to the dining area of your room and prepares a jug of water for you. The waters in your queendom are as clear as crystal and healing to drink. While other queendoms struggle to find safe drinking water, your queendom lives in abundance. You especially enjoy the taste of it when you wake up in the middle of the night and its temperature feels especially cold on your tongue.

Jimin places the full jug on the dressing table. You look at it, then at the reflection of him in your mirror. His jaw carried tension.

“Drink it. You will get a headache otherwise”, he tells you.

“I didn’t ask for water.”

“And I didn’t ask to be treated like shit. It seems we both didn’t get what we asked for.”

You break your eyes away from him, gulping the water down in an attempt to rid yourself of the painful lump in your throat.

The silence is suffocating. He keeps staring at you, standing right behind you. You feel so much aching pressure on your heart, struggling to undo the pearls in the back. Jimin nudges your hands away gently and takes over for you. Your eyes meet in the mirror. He is frowning while you can barely keep the eye contact alive. He breaks it first, looking down at your head as he helps you with your hair.

Jimin helped you with your hair on many occasions in the past. He studied as your hair dressers styled it and studied how they prepared it for bed and then one night he asked if he could be the one preparing it for you. You allowed him and ever since that night, he often took care of your hair while you looked at him through the mirror.

To have him take care of you tonight breaks your heart into a million pieces. You are so lonely without him.

Jimin removes the last of your hair pearls, leaning over to place them in the big sea shell on your table. The seas of your queendom were filled with the most wonderful of shells, some even bigger than your head. It is a common occurrence that empty shells wash up at the shores and for the bowl makers of the capital to create the most wonderful bowls and trinkets out of them. Shell bowls and boxes are scattered all throughout your chambers, holding your jewellery and other treasures.

Jimin’s middle presses into your back as he leans over. The sensation steals your air. It ends too soon for your taste, but you know not to reach behind you and pull him closer like you so often did in the past. You shouldn’t do this anymore. As a matter of sad fact, you never should have allowed it to come this far that you began pulling him closer for more.

Jimin picks up the brush which your brush makers fabricated out of shells and natural bristles especially for your hair. It always leaves your hair feeling healthy and Jimin learned how to use it correctly in order to care for you.

It feels so good to have him untangle your hair, but it also makes you ache. He knows you so well and takes such great care of you. You miss him so much.

You reach for the jug of water quickly to distract yourself from your feelings.

“You held my hand today”, Jimin says into the heavy silence.

You choke on your water, spilling some as you set the jug down hastily. You cough, looking at Jimin again.

The latter lands gentle slaps to your upper back to get rid of your cough. It helps.

“What are you saying?” you get out, clearing your throat to rid yourself of the last tickles.

“Down by the beach, when the dragon came close. You held my hand.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. And then you gave it away to Thranduin”, Jimin scrunches his nose in jealous disgust, “the only thing this man can bring you, is the stench of dragon and boring stories. Even his food lacked flavour and I am sure he fucks just as bland.”

“What’s wrong with you?” you gasp, feeling honestly shocked at his harsh words. It is unlike him to allow his dialect to come through.

“Nothing. I am merely saying it how it is.”

“Well, you are incorrect. I shared a wonderful evening with him. He is good company.”

“Good’s just passing in disguise. You deserve more than good company.”

“He has potential to become great company.”

“Of course”, Jimin says and scoffs, turning his back to you to walk back to the bed, “you’re a terrible jester.”

You stand up, looking at him with dark eyes.

“I felt so jolly tonight. Why must you ruin it like this?”

“Because I’m in misery and I’m selfish and awful enough that I don’t want you to be happy with someone who isn’t me.”

“I see”, you let out and scoff, “you truly are selfish.”

“Yes, indeed I am. I am the most selfish bastard you will ever meet and you know who I learned this from?”

You don’t answer him.

“You. You made me your servant, took my innocence, gave me glimpses of a life with you only to push me away once your joke of a husband spent his time and rotted away and you finally began feeling guilty enough. You are the most selfish person I have ever seen.”

“Why would you say that?” you gasp, feeling yourself tear up.

“Because I am tired of being treated this way by you.”

“Treated this way? You are my knight and nothing more. Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Leave you alone? I went from holding you in my arms and feeling your love to being pushed away and treated like vermin by you within the blink of an eye. Tell me how this should make me feel. How I should live with the ache in my heart.”

“You know why I had to push you away.”

“No. No, I don’t because you never gave me an explanation. He died”, Jimin points out at the sea, “and suddenly I wasn’t good enough anymore, because we are both well aware that your horrific futures wouldn’t ever have happened. They were never the reason why you pushed me away. I merely stopped being good enough and I am tired of running after you. Please just give me a reason why I stopped being good enough for you.”

“I do not owe you an explanation, I am your Queen.”

“Yes, you are my Queen, but you are also my best friend and the woman I love and you loved me as well. The least I deserve is an explanation.”

You loved him.

The word hurts.

Loved is incorrect.

You love him.

You still do.

You still love him. You never stopped.

But you have to push him away. You and he are wrong for each other. There are no two souls which are actually so right for each other, but society makes you wrong. In another life where no ranks or duties differentiate you and him, you could be happy. But not here. Not in the real world.

“There is no explanation. I am your queen and you did your duties. I apologise if I made it seem as if there was more behind it.”

Jimin tears up, but continues to talk. His heart aches too much not to. He isn’t rational right now, led by emotions and he needs to say everything which was on his mind.

“Why are you saying this? Why would you lie? Who are you pretending for? It’s just us right now. Why do you pretend to feel nothing for me?”

“I am not pretending. I feel nothing for you.”

Jimin closes the distance between you and him. You stumble back until the edge of the desk digs into your thighs. Jimin acts quickly, lifting you up on the table with such vigour that you make a sound without wanting to. He is between your legs, pressing his middle against your own while his hands are on your waist. You feel short of breath, gulping repeatedly in an attempt to get air back into your lungs.

“Go on tell me that this doesn’t make you feel anything”, Jimin whispers, drawing patterns between your eyes and your lips with his mesmerising gaze, “tell me that this means nothing to you and I will leave you to find unhappiness with a stranger.”

“Jimin I…” you breathe shakily, fighting your eyes as they flit to his lips. You lose the fight. His lips are glistening in the candle lights, looking like rose petals in colour even in the dim room. The scent of his vanilla lip oil meets your nose. You crave his kiss like water “…please.”

“Push me away, ___.”

“Why would you do this to me? Why can’t you listen?”

“Because I can’t give up on you. Not without help, so push me away. That is all you have to do. Push me away.”

You place your hands on his chest. His heart is racing uncontrollably. You give him a gentle nudge.

“This isn’t enough. Push me away”, Jimin insists, fighting your weak pushes.

You try again, spilling tears.

“Push me away. Do it, ___.”

You can’t push him away. You need him. You can’t survive without him.

“No”, you whimper, shaking your head. You drop your hands from his chest, grabbing his waist, “no”, you whisper and tug him into a hug. You rest your head on his chest, shaking it, “no. You are good enough, Jimin. You are too good for me in fact. I have to marry for power, but you should marry for love. I’m so selfish to keep you with me. You are not supposed to be a secret.”

Jimin closes his arms around you and presses you close.

“It’s alright. I’m just as selfish.”

“No. No, it’s not fair to you”, you shake your head.

“Sending me away will break me more than being your secret”, Jimin insists, stopping your vigorous head shaking gently. He brushes his palm down the back of your head repeatedly, “I know you are scared, but we will figure this out. We will do it together like we always did. Please don’t let seventeen years go to waste, ___.”

You exhale shakily, looking up at him with tears covering your cheeks.

Jimin’s eyes are filled with reassurance, a warm smile curls his lips. He cups your cheeks to dry your tears. You lean into the touch, finally finding the comfort you craved for too long.

“We will find a way together. Yes?” he whispers.

You nod your head.

“Yes, we will”, he says and watches as you furrow your brows sadly, “what’s the matter?”

“I want to marry you”, you confess, “but if I can’t find a strong companion, my queendom will be without protection. My late husband never expected love from me, we were friends and I loved him dearly as such and now he is dead and I am destined to find someone to fill his place. I am frightened, Jimin. I do not want to pretend to love a stranger. Why did he have to die and leave me to fend for myself?”

“You are not alone. I’m by your side. I will always be by your side.”

“I know”, you blink your tears away, “I’m so grateful that you are”, you say and cup his cheeks.

He leans into the touch, lowering his eyes in the fondest of ways. He slides his left hand to the small of your back, while his right engulfs the nape of your neck. He tugs you closer, eliciting a whimper from you. You tilt your head up, closing your eyes to get lost in the kiss. But the kiss never comes. At least not on your lips. He kisses the tears from your cheeks before placing soft kisses on your sensitive neck, on the spots where it feels the best.

“Jimin….” you sigh, tilting your head to the side to give him better access. Your fingers grasp his tunic and twist it desperately, your legs close around him to tug him closer. You feel breathless. This is the kind of feeling you know to be attraction. This is how you feel when you crave someone’s touch. One kiss to your neck is enough to send your body into a blurred state of happiness.

Jimin lifts his pillowy lips from your neck. You chase him, even going so far as to slide your hand to his neck to pull him back, but he is stronger. He brushes his lips over your ear as he speaks.

“I won’t go further than this tonight. You are drunk and I am the last person who would make an indecent woman out of you.”

“I don’t care. I’m indecent with you”, you say, grabbing his hair to pull him close, “kiss me, Jimin. Please.”

Jimin allows you to win the fight and drag him into a kiss. It is a messy kiss. You are so drunk that you barely have coordination over your mouth. To you it felt like the most wonderful of kisses, but to Jimin it felt wet and just a little sloppy. He still kissed you back because he missed your kiss so much it became hard to breathe. He swallows the crude moans you let out while his hands touch your backside. You arch your back, rolling your hips into him. His calloused hands slide under your behind and lift you from the table. You moan, wrapping your legs around him as he carries you to bed. You are rubbing yourself against him, feeling suffocated in need. You missed him so much. You missed him. Missed him. Missed him.

Jimin places you in the sheets, but doesn’t climb on top of you. Instead he keeps one foot grounded on the floor, while the knee of his other rests between your opened legs. He breaks the kiss, brushing the back of his hand down your cheek.

“Sleep tight, ___ beloved”, he whispers and steps back.

“Jimin…please…”

He gives you a bow before turning his back to you and leaving your chambers. He keeps his sword on your bed as a symbol that he hasn’t left your life tonight.

The doors fall closed.

You touch your lips, gasping for air. He left you. He did so little tonight and yet your heart is hammering in your chest.

“Fuck”, you whisper, staring at his sword.

That night you do unspeakable things with its handle. Things so indecent that they couldn’t possibly be mentioned in these writings. And the most humiliating part was that you weren’t ashamed of them.

You don’t let the court know how hungover you felt. Frigga and your maids woke you two hours after the sun rose and helped you freshen up. They asked how you enjoyed the evening with Thranduin and you could simply smile and tell them that you had a good time with him. They missed how you ogled Jimin’s sword as you spoke the words.

Once they dressed you for breakfast, you left your chambers. You take Jimin’s sword with you, even if your servants seemed confused about its presence for a moment.

“He must have forgotten it as I got ready for the evening with Thranduin”, you lied and they didn’t probe any further.

“My Queen”, Jimin joins your side on the hallways. He is dressed in his armour and carries his spare sword. He bows at you, giving you a miniscule smile as he straightens up again. Happiness surrounds him today and you feel the same.

“Sire”, you greet him with a curtsey, stifling a giggle, “I noticed that you forgot your sword in my chambers.”

“Truly? I did? Oh how clumsy of me. I already looked for it everywhere this morning”, he says, “I must have forgotten it as you got ready for your evening with Thranduin.”

“I already figured that much. Worry not, I brought it with me”, you say and offer it to him.

Jimin accepts it with a bow of his head. He holds it by his sheath at first, furrowing his brows as his eyes scan over the handle.

Your heart flutters. He noticed.

He touches it, lifting his brows in surprise when he feels the sinful residue you left on it.

His eyes meet yours and widen. He knows. You allow a small smile to curl your lips. Oh how you are fighting with your giggles. His shocked face is such a delight.

“You should take better care of your swords, Sire”, you tell him and continue your strut to the dining hall.

Jimin stands and stares until even the last of your servants passed him. He waits until their chatters and giggles became quieter in the hallway and only then, he dares to brush his fingers against his nose. If he wasn’t yet sure about what covered his sword, he received all the reassurance he needed with just one inhale. He gulps and finds himself feeling dizzy. You pleasured yourself with his sword. With burning cheeks and his heart racing in his chest, he sets off to follow you. Today will be a difficult day. Oh how he yearns for you.

Thranduin is already in the dining hall when you enter it. He stands up and closes the distance between you and him. “Your Highness, you look lovely this morning”, he greets you and reaches for your hand to kiss it.

Jimin places the sword on his wrist. He kept it in its sheath, holding it by its soiled handle. Only he gets to touch it on this spot. You feel beyond excited at the view, which further proves how no other man could ever inflict the same feelings in you. You have a handsome suitor kissing your hand and yet the thought that Jimin touches the handle you marked brings you more joy than such a romantic gesture.

“The Queen prefers to be asked before she gets touched”, Jimin tells a baffled Thranduin. He glances at you, giving you a small smile. One you retort with a fluttering heart.

“Oh? I, I”, Thranduin stutters, “please forgive my manners. I must have believed that I had a right to a hand kiss after last night.”

You pull your hand free.

“No please, I took no offense. You must forgive my guard. He is overly protective”, you say and strut to the tables, “now, shall we have breakfast? I must say that I am starving.”

Conversation with Thranduin is great again. You feel comfortable with him and honestly laughed. Jimin didn’t mind bearing witness to them today. He knew of your true feelings, the sword he keeps clutching was proof enough. What you are currently doing was for show.

You ask Thranduin if he and his escorts felt in the mood for a game of Stickball in the castle’s garden. He agreed and so you find yourselves playing stickball in the gardens.

Stickball was an incredibly fun game which originated in your queendom long, long before your time. Back in its beginnings, people used sticks they found on trees to carry a spherical stone to a basket on the ground without dropping it. Over time one basket became multiple baskets placed over the playing field. These days, there are tools for the game and it is played whilst sharing honey wine and pine cone jelly biscuits. You refuse the wine today.

Thranduin is busy with his play and the others on the court are busy with exchanging cultural stories, so only Jimin bears witness to your refusal.

You stand under the shadow of a tree, leaning your weight onto your sticks, when he closes in to whisper.

“Does someone regret last night?” he is teasing.

You still feel drunk enough to feel the need to tease as well. You turn your head so your noses almost touch.

“You carry proof of how much I regret last night in your hand. Need I say more?” you whisper, ending it with a seductive look to his lips.

Jimin flusters, taking a step back.

You chuckle, leaving him under the shadow as you join Thranduin’s side.

“You seem to know your way around this game very well, Sire.”

“You must be mocking me right now. I am truly terrible at it.”

You laugh.

“But you are talented for your first time. Not everyone manages to keep the ball balanced for such a long time.”

“You believe so? Well, then I feel good in my play”, he jokes and seconds later, drops the ball. You and he share in laughter.

“See? I am terrible.”

“Fret not, it took me a long time to get good at the game”, you say and pick up your ball, “I shall show you how it is done.”

“I have to look thoroughly then”, Thranduin says and laughs when seconds later you drop the ball as well.

“Oh by the heavens, I-”, you let out and glance at him, “I must insist this only happened because I am still drunk.”

“Yes, yes tell yourself such lies, Your Highness”, Thranduin teases and picks up his ball for another try.

The game is amazing fun. Thranduin is wonderful company. You joke, exchange stories, laugh and have fun. He feels like a friend you have known for a long time. But this is as far as your interest for him goes. Friendship.

Your feelings for the situation became so painfully obvious to you now that you had the memory of last night replaying in your head. You liked Thranduin as a friend and hope to continue this friendship, but your heart lies with your knight. You do not want to deny those feelings any longer.

Thranduin is currently busy exchanging stories with Frigga. You and he already moved on to the fifth basket on the playing field. There were still ten more to go. Now experiencing a moment of silence, you begin looking for Jimin. He is standing with the other guards under the shade of the trees. His eyes meet yours instantly and light up. He smiles, you retort it.

The heat of the sun, the lightheartedness of the game and the lingering wine in your veins blurs your sense of care today. And so you listen to the voices of your heart and make your way to Jimin.

Not before interrupting Thranduin’s story for a quick, “I feel the need to freshen up. I shall return shortly. Frigga, you can play in my stead.”

“Are you feeling alright, my Queen?” she asks.

“Yes, yes I just drank too much and need to use the private chambers.”

“Understood, my Queen”, she says with a nod of her head.

“I shall attempt to get better till you are back”, Thranduin jokes, eliciting a small laugh from you before you officially excuse yourself.

Jimin straightens up in giddy nervousness once he sees you strutting to him confidently. His heart is racing. He didn’t expect to be approached with such confidence.

“I need to freshen up”, you tell him.

“Yes, my Queen”, he says and leaves his spot to tail behind you.

You pass a few people on your way through your gardens. They greet you with bows while you greet them with a smile. You manage to get as far as the lower hallways and then loneliness surrounds you. No other people are in sight.

Jimin looks around. Left, right, front and back. You and he are alone. There is a broom cabinet to your right. Jimin looks at you and grabs his soiled sword. This is his chance.

He closes the distance and touches your waist.

“Oh”, you gasp in surprise, squeaking when he twirls you and pushes, “what are you doing? Jimin, what-”, an unflattering, yet honest cackle leaves you, "heavens, you."

Jimin pushed you into the broom cabinet. It is big enough to house hip high dressers and ceiling high shelves. Your gardeners use it to store their equipment in here, as well as pillows for the garden. He kicks the door closed and uses the soiled sword to seal it from inside. Then he turns, grabbing you again to lift you off your feet and onto the dresser.

You grab for him, pulling him into a kiss in sync with him leaning into it. It results in your teeth colliding with each other.

“Careful”, you giggle, smiling into the kiss.

“Forgive me”, he mumbles and claims your lips in a passionate kiss. He doesn’t care about the clumsy mess-up, not when he wants you achingly.

You moan and pull him closer. Your limbs wrap around him, your hands grasp him desperately. You need him closer and no matter how close you and he are, it isn’t enough. This is everything you wanted for weeks. To go without his kiss was torture.

“I can’t breathe”, Jimin confesses between kisses, “I’m ruined.”

“Jimin, closer”, you beg, pulling him into a kiss. Your tongue traces his lips. He grants you access instantly, allowing you to show him the tempo. Desperate. Messy. With barely any honour. You grind yourself against him and in return, he can’t stop rolling his hips into you. This is scandalous. No decorum is left. You have never needed each other more than you do right now. You can’t be mannerly, not when your very souls need to be connected.

You tug at the straps of his shoulder plates. It takes some time to take off his armour, but you have practice with it. Too many times you and he had to be quick. Too many times, you had to be fast in undressing each other because little time was all that you had. You learned how to do it in a haste. You studied his armour until you knew where it was easiest to open.

You tug the correct strap open. His shoulder plates fall off of him. Jimin moans and pulls you closer. His right arm is around your waist, pressing you into him. The kiss to your lips breaks because he needed to worship your neck. He does it sloppily and with desperate whimpers leaving him.

“I can’t stop thinking about you”, he moans between kisses, “what you did with my sword. It drives me mad.”

“I had to. You left me alone”, you moan, struggling as you open the straps for his chest plate. He is sucking on your skin, kissing the spots most sensitive and kneading your flesh with desperate fingers all while his hips keep rolling into you as if he was already fucking you.

You open the strap. His chest plate falls off, his back plate follows as well. Now he is before you in nothing but his linen shirt tugged into his pants. You grab it desperately, feeling him up through the fabric. It is damp because it was a hot day and armour makes one very hot. The sensation makes you moan. He is so heated up, so undoubtedly him. There is no one else who gets to feel him when he is this way.

“I need to have you, please”, he begins begging because your touch through such a thin shirt is hard to bear.

“Open my dress”, you order as you are busy tugging his shirt from his pants.

“You have too much lacing. Why must you wear such a dress today?” he whines as he tries to open it.

You giggle, Jimin does as well. You and he shared this struggle on many occasions, but today it feels special. It fills your hearts with happiness because such a struggle meant that you and he were finally together again.

“I felt beautiful.”

“You are beautiful”, Jimin says and struggles, “fuck, I can’t do it this way”, he says and swoops you off the dresser to put you down in front of him. He twirls you so your back is facing him.

“You are so indecent”, you giggle, pressing your behind into him while he gets busy with your lacing.

“I learned from you”, he answers you, meeting your hips in rolls of his own.

Jimin manages to unlace your dress quickly in this position. He tugs it open and pushes it down your shoulders. It falls to the floor. You turn and allow him to lift you out of the fabric heap. You squeak and giggle as you do, pulling him into a kiss.

He feels weakened. He stumbles and falls against the shelves, sliding you down until your feet touch the ground. You pin him against the shelves instantly, kissing him so deeply Jimin finds it difficult to stand. His hands are holding you by your waist, his fingers dimple your flesh. Your underdress is made out of a thin fabric. It is as if he was already touching your bare skin. You are heated up as well, forcing moans to the tip of his tongue. There is no better feeling than that of your warm body.

His sword falls to the ground. You opened the belt, allowing it to drop. The sound doesn’t startle Jimin. In fact, he barely hears it as his ears are filled with nothing but your moans and heavy breathing.

Seconds later, he feels your hand slide down his pants. You find him instantly, rubbing him vigorously.

“___”, he moans breathily, breaking the kiss just so he can rest his forehead against yours and shudder in pleasure. He throbs in your hand, soiling your palm with his wet pleasure.

“You are so hard”, you croak, playing with his sensitive tip. You squeeze it gently, forcing more of his wetness to leak.

“Please can I h-have you?” he begs in a pitched voice and his knees trembling uncontrollably.

“I shouldn’t allow you. As punishment for abandoning me last night”, you taunt.

“Please, oh-” he nips at your jawline, “I wanted to be respectful, I- oh please.”

“I had to pleasure myself with your sword. Do you have any idea how desperate that left me? How humiliating it was? I couldn’t stop until my legs shook, Jimin.”

“Please”, he breathes out, collapsing into you before he catches himself again. His forehead rests against the side of your face, his pillowy lips brush over your cheek as he fights for air, “I’m sorry.”

“Mhm Jimin, you are such a treasure when you beg”, you rasp, slipping your hand out of his pants, “you can fuck me.”

“My Queen”, Jimin mewls and falls to his knees before you. He runs his hands up your legs, gazing at you with utter devotion in his eyes, “my beloved ___”, he croaks, punching up your dress with his hands as his lips worship your inner thighs.

Your breath shudders, your heart skips too many beats. He is so out of breath, so obviously ruined, kissing his way up your inner thighs until your heat is under his lips. The dress covers most of his face this way, his strong hands are on your hips keeping you close.

His wet tongue suddenly laps at your heat, sending fiery pleasure through your veins.

“Ah! Jimin!” you moan loudly, throwing your head back as your hands try to grab his hair. You sway because it gets difficult to keep yourself standing when he is using his mouth in such desperate manners.

He is sucking and licking you vigorously, producing the most sinful of sounds. He is moaning as well, letting you know how much enjoyment he finds in the taste of you. His strong, calloused fingers keep kneading you desperately, leaving marks of sensitivity all over your skin.

“I missed you”, he gets out, pulling you onto his face until there is nothing but your scent filling his nose and your taste coating his tongue. He flicks it quickly, slurping up the masses of saliva his greedy mouth produces. He is untamed in the way he tastes you.

Jimin is a very mannerly lover. Too much he worries to soil your treasured heat with disrespectful oral. Most times it was you who had to tell him to let manners by the door. So to have him so unapologetically feast on you as if you were his last meal truly ruins you. Especially when you had to go without his touch for months.

Jimin takes your clit between his puffy lips and sucks, growling and moaning around you as his lips truly come to good use in massaging you just right.

“Oh Jimin, I’m close”, you confess in a squeak, fighting gravity. Your fingers tug on his hair painfully.

Jimin chuckles, sucking on your clit one more time before he tilts his head up. Your dress ruffled his hair, his puffy lips are wet in your sweetness, as his chin. His eyes gleam in dark pleasure and hungry desire, running up and down your body.

“I barely did anything”, he is teasing because he knows that he is allowed to do so.

“It has been months for me as well”, you defend yourself, giving his hair a gentle tug, “do not make fun of me.”

“I’m not. I love when you are like this”, Jimin smiles, squeezing your hips, “I want to fuck you so good”, he rasps as he rests his chin against your lower tummy, gazing up at you like a love drunk puppy. He sticks his behind out for it, looking truly to die for.

You ruffle his hair, “you and your dirty mouth. Get your cock out. Now.”

“Yes, my Queen”, Jimin obeys.

He takes his cock out of his pants, sitting on the ground as you keep him down with just a look. Jimin loves following your orders and there are no orders sweeter than when you tell him exactly what to do during sex.

He kneels once he is bared, keeping his hands on his sculpted thighs. His tunic, punches up on them, hiding his cock from you. You glance at it. Jimin fixes it instantly, stuffing the fabric behind his cock so it was visible to you.

“So good for me”, you praise, running the back of your hand down his cheek.

Jimin closes his eyes halfway, chasing your touch with a sigh.

“Sit down so I can get comfortable.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

You place your hands on his shoulders once he fixed the position and lower yourself, sitting comfortably on his lap. He touches your waist, meeting your fond gaze with even greater fondness.

“I’m happy”, you confess.

“I’m happy too”, he answers you and gives you a gentle tug, “I want you. Please.”

“Yes. Yes, I want you as well”, you say and lift yourself to fix your positions. Jimin wraps his hand around his length, keeping it straight so you could slide down on him with ease. There is no friction, no discomfort. Just warmth and the overwhelming feeling of reconnecting with each other.

“___”, Jimin moans, looking up at you with glassy eyes. His lids flutter, his fingers dimple your behind, “I missed you so much. Oh, you feel so good.”

“I missed you as well”, you croak, bottoming out. You grab his face, “Jimin. Beloved”, you whimper, pulling him into a kiss.

“Beloved”, he sobs, keeping you close as his trembling lips kiss you back desperately.

Your hips dance on his lap, chasing the feeling of him. There is no other person who fits as well as Jimin does. He makes you feel whole, as if a missing piece finally returned. Being with him not only heals your body from the aches of desire but also heals your heart from loneliness.

“You feel so good”, you keen, panting desperately as your lips chase him. It is difficult to kiss, but you just can’t get yourself to stop. You need to make up for months of lost connection.

“Yes, yes, you do”, Jimin moans, holding you close. He is helping you with the movements, finding his only support by grasping your hips.

It doesn’t matter if you and he love each other slowly or if you fuck like animals, it always heals your hearts. Because what you and he are doing isn’t just simple fucking, it is yet another way to confess each other’s love. And today it leaves you especially breathless.

You were so lonely without each other, your hearts were so broken. Every second spent reconnecting with each other mends the deep cracks in your hearts.

“Oh, my Queen”, Jimin whimpers and drops his head into the crook of your neck. He hugs you against his chest, forcing your desperate hips to slow down. Like this, he is deep inside you while your movements are reduced to movements back and forth.

“Jimin”, you whimper, dropping your own head as your arms close around him. He rubs against the most sensitive spots this way, reminding you how wonderful it felt to be with him.

“I love you”, Jimin presses out, twisting your dress at your back to pull you closer.

“I love you too”, you answer him, spilling tears while your warmth convulses around his length.

“I love you so much”, Jimin sobs, squeezing you tightly.

“I love you too”, you moan, twisting his hair, “I want to be so much closer.”

“Me too. Oh me too, it isn’t enough”, Jimin croaks and grabs your behind just to press you against him. Your clit rubs against his toned stomach, his cock bends just right to stimulate your favourite spots.

You tighten in reaction, struggling with your movements.

“Ah”, your voice pitches, “ah, Ji-Jimin.”

“You’re so warm and, and ah…tight”, he keens, “does it hurt?”

You shake your head vigorously, “no, but it, it brings me close. Please don’t stop.”

“If you let go, I have to as well.”

You shudder, grabbing for him. You want to hold him so much closer but you can’t. You feel charged in pleasure as if his touch enchants you.

“I love you, Jimin beloved. I love you, I love you”, you chant, finding it harder and harder to move whilst at the same time, speeding up more and more. You need to be with him. You need to experience sensations only he can make you feel. You need all of it. You need him and him and him.

“I love you too. I love you, so much”, he answers you each time a new confession of your deepest feelings roll off your tongue. He means it more and more with every repetition, finding it hard to function when you feel so good. His toes keep curling, he keeps gasping for air between his pitched moans.

“I have to let go”, you confess, muffling your desperate moans in his neck.

“Please don’t hold back, I need it”, he begs, squeezing your hips.

“Jimin”, you moan, letting go of the tension.

“___”, Jimin follows instantly, spilling tears as his arms cradle you tightly.

You and he had orgasms more intense in your time together. Orgasms which left you disoriented and out of breath and yet somehow the high you share today feels the most intense a high has ever felt. You and he stood at the edge of the cliff, you tasted how it would feel to live without each other. So to be finally reconnected and to share such a vulnerable state with each other feels like medicine to you and him.

You are finally together again. The painful loneliness is no more.

You stay seated on Jimin after your highs died down, sharing silence. You fill it with heavy breaths and small whimpers of recovery. Jimin does the same, holding you so tightly without once moving his hands from the spots he has grabbed. He needs to make sure that you stay with him, that he can truly live out the full potential of the hug.

“Do you feel alright?” he checks up on you

“I feel so good. You?”

“I feel so good”, he says and exhales shakily, “I don’t want you to leave again”, he whispers.

“I do not wish to leave”, you answer him, squeezing him gently, “I will tell Thranduin that I do not wish to marry him. I never did.”

“I’m so happy to hear that. My heart ached unbearably these past months”, Jimin says and squeezes you back, “my beloved ___, don’t ever push me away again.”

You shake your head, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for causing you so much grief. I wanted to keep you safe and yet hurt you in the process. It hurt me as well, my Jimin, you mustn’t think that it didn’t.”

“Don’t apologise, I understand.”

You take a deep breath of relief, scratching your nails over his scalp softly.

“It will be difficult. We are still a small country without a strong ally on our side.”

“No matter what will happen, I will stay by your side”, Jimin promises.

A warm smile curls your lips. You lift your head, meeting his eyes. They soften instantly. His left hand comes up to cup your cheek. He caresses it with his thumb.

“You’re my best friend as well, my Jimin and you’re the man I love. I do not want to hide my feelings anymore”, you say, painting soul-consuming love onto his features.

“I love you too”, he whispers, cradling your cheek in his calloused hand, “and I always will.”

You lean into his touch, closing your eyes halfway.

“Now we must figure out how to get back to the game without causing suspicion”, you say, making Jimin laugh.

“Ah putting on your dress will be a bother”, he chuckles, making you laugh with him.

“As will be your armour. Do not pretend to wear easier clothing”, you tease him, basking in how much more he laughs because of it.

Now everything is truly right in the world again.

You invite Thranduin into the garden for a conversation come the next day. You were a little sad to see him go because he had the potential to become a great friend, but more than anything you were excited for what was to come. You will be with Jimin and that is the sweetest future you can imagine.

“I think that I might not be ready for new marriage yet. The loss of my late husband affects me deeper than I thought it does”, you tell Thranduin.

You expected Thranduin to meet your confession with shock and disbelief, but instead he is smiling.

“I understand”, he says, “but you mustn’t feel as if you needed to lie to me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I know when someone’s heart is already taken. I can advise you to follow it, even when he is merely your guard.”

“Oh. Heavens, I- how did you…”

Thranduin laughs.

“It is as simple as that I was on the way to the private chambers when I passed the broom cabinet as you…well, I am certain that you are aware of what you did.”

“Oh by the heavens, this is humiliating. I must apologise. Such behaviour isn’t like that of a Queen.”

“Fret not. From one ruler to another, I can keep a secret. However, I wish that your love can be public soon. He seems very fond of you and very protective as well. He would make a good husband for you, Your Highness.”

You fluster, “I thank you Sire, for keeping this secret and for understanding. I deeply regret if I gave you hopes of a future together.”

“There is nothing to apologise. I came here to meet the wonderful Queen of Windfell and I will leave having made a new friend. If that is what you desire as well, that is.”

You smile.

“I like the sound of that. I grew quite fond of you as a friend.”

“Then it is decided. From this day forward, Windfell and Dragonrock are united by friendship. We will aid each other in times of need, stand side by side in battle and trade with our countries’ finest goods. And we shall meet up for more Stickball. I must win at least once."

You laugh, "I am quite certain that you will, Sire. And I cannot wait to meet you again. You are always a welcome guest at Windfell.'

“As are you on Dragonrock. I must show you around the capital then and the white sand dunes.”

“Yes, I would enjoy this a great deal. I will try coconuts as well.”

Thranduin laughs, nodding his head, “you must bring your knight with you then.”

Your cheek feel hot, your heart flutters.

“Heavens”, you murmur, fanning air to your face.

Thranduin chuckles fondly.

“So it is decided then. Our nations are united by friendship. Shall we shake hands on it or will your knight slap my hand away again?”

You laugh, “I am sure that he can excuse a friendly handshake.”

You enter the throne room. It is busy with the court. They bow as you pass them.

“Frigga!”

Conversation dies down now that you are talking.

“Yes, my Queen?”

“Send word to every possible suitor that I have decided to stop looking for one.”

“My Queen, I don’t understand.”

“It is easy, dear Frigga. I have found my husband.”

Jimin stiffens up in his chair, feeling his heart sink. You promised him that you would send Thranduin away and yet you come back bearing news of marriage. His heart is shattered and he feels like death would be easier to bear.

“Oh truly that is wonderful-”, Frigga stops in her celebrations when outside your window, Thranduin leaves Windfell on his dragon, “-but why is he leaving?”

“Oh no, you misunderstand. Windfell gained a loyal and strong friend in Dragonrock. I will visit his country soon and we shall seal our friendship bond with a contract. But he is not who I want to marry”, you say, walking up the stairs to your throne.

“My Queen, I don’t understand. Who caught your eye then?”

You smile.

“Jimin.”

The court gasps, staring at the baffled guard. Jimin stares at you with disbelief on his features.

“If you feel the same as me and it is what you want as well, come up here and allow me to make you my husband.”

“What are you saying?” Jimin gets out. He is already crying.

“You heard me”, you say and laugh in unbearable happiness, “come up here and be my husband.”

Jimin squeaks and jumps into a sprint. He takes two steps at a time. You laugh with him, welcoming him with open arms. You squeak when seconds later, he sweeps you off your feet to twirl you and him as squeals of contagious happiness leave him.

“Are you certain? Are you truly certain?” he asks, beaming up at you.

“As certain as breathing is, my beloved Jimin.”

“Oh my beloved ___”, he gets out and kisses you.

And to your happy surprise, the court celebrates with cheers and laughter. It may be terribly confused, but your happiness was truly contagious. Frigga exchanges a knowing and happy look with your maids. It was about time you and your knight showed the world your feelings. She had hoped that you would.

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sourlove · 11 days

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YANDERE KING PART II 👑(GN READER)

TW: OBSESSION, YANDERE THEMES, JEALOUSY, VIOLENCE, IMPLIED TORTURE

READ PART 1 HERE

You had never heard a room fall silent the way it did when you stepped in.

It was lunchtime and King Henry had demanded politely requested that you join him and some foreign dignitaries for a meal in the grand hall. However, none of the aforementioned were present. Instead, the Queen and her servants stared at you coldly as you halted by the entrance.

"Good afternoon, Your majesty," you greeted with a bow. "My apologies for-"

"You. Come here." The hall was empty, so the Queen's voiced echoed, coldly.

You glanced up and nervously stepped towards her. The head butler stood there as well, but he sneered at you when you looked at him. Queen Penelope's maids, two nasty girls who constantly tried to make your life miserable, began to whisper to themselves, eyes trained on your neck. Actually, you noticed that all of them seemed to be looking at your neck.

With a sinking feeling, you looked down at the garishly ornate necklace the King insisted you wear to lunch.

"It's the same color as my eyes. I want you to wear it and think of me," Henry had whispered into your ear as he clasped it around your neck. You hadn't thought much of it and had just planned to wear it for the afternoon and stuff it in a drawer with all the other gifts Henry had forced on you.

"That necklace, where did you get it from?" the Queen asked stiffly. Her face gave away nothing but disgust and hatred for you.

"Ah, this? It was His majesty that gave it to me, Your majesty," you replied, reaching up to touch the giant chunk of sapphire swinging from the thick gold chain.

"Liar!" One of the maids cried. "It is the same one the King gave Her Majesty on their wedding night! The one that went missing!"

The temperature suddenly dropped as you realized the situation you had just walked into. You opened your mouth to defend yourself but nothing came out, making Queen Penelope snap in anger.

"You dare try to make excuses? Hold them down!"

The two maids immediately grabbed your arms, fingernails painfully digging into your skin. The butler scoffed, "Of course someone of your status would resort to theft."

The Queen roughly yanked the necklace off you. "A filthy concubine," she hissed. "Dares to sneak around my chambers? You must think you can get away with anything just because you're warming the King's bed. But let me tell you something." She lowered her voice as if she were sharing a secret. "He will soon tire of you, and I will take great pleasure in dealing with you the same way I dealt with others who dared to think they were beyond their station."

You licked your lips shakily and stammered out, "Y-your majesty, I swear there must have been some kind of mistake. Hen-The King truly gave me that necklace! I would never dare to-"

Her rings caught on your face when she hit you and you stumbled back, only held up by her giggling maids. A warm, metallic taste filled your mouth. Blood. "How dare you speak his name?! You will regret ever crawling into his bed, you vile wench!"

She raised her her hand again to land another blow until a booming voice froze everyone in place.

"What is going on here?!"

Henry looked furious as he stormed into the grand hall, closely followed by an entourage of people; guards, servants and the dignitaries you were supposed to have lunch with. Before you could even begin to feel embarrassed, the maids holding you fled to stand behind their mistress, leaving you to stagger into Henry's arms.

His blue eyes scanned you and took in your bruised face, his face twisting into an expression you had never seen before. "Penelope!" he barked. "What is the meaning of this? Explain yourself immediately!"

The Queen balked at the face of his pure, unadulterated rage, but still pointed an accusatory finger at you. "My necklace! Th-they stole it from my chambers and paraded around claiming that you gave it to them!" All of a sudden, she burst into tears and you gaped at her. Who exactly was the victim here? "I-I just lost my temper, because that necklace is so dear to me! You gave it to me as a wedding gift!"

You could already feel the nasty looks being sent in your direction and shrunk back. Henry looked down at your trembling form and bloody mouth, seemingly unaffected by Queen Penelope's tears.

"Let me see the necklace," he commanded. The head butler stepped forward with the cause of all your problems and bowed to the King, handing it to him. Henry turned it over in his hand and chuckled dryly. "You foolish woman."

This seemed to surprise everyone, for the King was known for being kind and peaceful. "Y-your majesty?"

Henry flipped the sapphire pendant, revealing the gold backing on which your initials were carved. The Queen was at a lost for words and her mouth opened and closed multiple times without saying a word.

The butler stepped in for his mistress. "Your majesty, there is a chance they could have engraved it themself after they stole it!"

Henry cocked his head and hummed. "There is a chance. A very slim one, considering I was the one who engraved their initials myself." He stroked your hair soothingly. "I didn't want there to be any confusion between the two so this was a precaution. Had I known that the Queen would be so willing to strike my concubine over such a small issue, I would have been more careful."

"Your majesty!" A knight ran into the room, holding up a familiar object. "We found the Queen's necklace in the head butler's quarters!"

The man gasped and shook. "Framed! I've been framed!" He dropped to his knees as the guards surrounded him. "Your majesty, please believe me!"

Henry barely spared him a glance. "Take him to the dungeons and have him whipped. Such is the punishment for a thief." He turned to the Queen who paled in fear but Henry wasn't done. "Take the maids too. Cut off the hands that dared to hurt what is mine."

They screamed as they were dragged away, pleading for mercy, and you winced. Henry turned to reschedule his lunch meeting with the dignitaries as if it were nothing, as is he didn't just order for people to be tortured. The events of the day started to catch up to you and you swayed in Henry's grasp.

He swooped you into a bridal carry immediately, barking orders to call a physician. He cast a final glance back at the Queen who had just watched her most loyal servants be taken away. Tears, perhaps real ones this time, filled her eyes.

Henry turned back to you. "Lock the Queen in her chambers until further notice. She has done enough damage today."

"Your majesty! Your majesty, you cannot do this to me! I am your Queen!"

Her cries were cut off as the doors to the grand hall slammed shut. Henry strode quickly to you chambers, lips pressed in a thin line.

"...I'm fine, Henry," you said softly. You knew calling him by his name would calm him down from the thoughts in his head. He glanced down at you.

"She hit you."

"But it's not serious. I will heal very soon."

Henry shook his head in frustration. He said no more until you were tucked in bed, after being thoroughly examined by the palace physician. After the old man had given you some medicine and left, the King crawled into your bed. "I'm sorry, my love."

You patted his hand tiredly. You wished he would leave you to sleep in peace, but that didn't seem like it was going to happen. "It's not your fault, Henry. It's not like you planned this."

When Henry said nothing, you turned to find a look in his eyes that made you sit up straight, sleepiness fading away. "I didn't think she would hit you-" he began but you cut him off.

"Is that why you insisted I wear it to lunch? Did you plan this whole affair to humiliate me?"

"You don't understand, I did it for you! To help you establish your place in the palace!"

"As what? As your bed warmer? The King's whore? Is that what you wanted?" You glared at him. "Why can't you understand that there is simply no place for me here. Not when I was forced to be here."

"...you're right."

You glanced at him, frowning in confusion but Henry was staring into space, lost in his thoughts. "It's too dangerous for you here. Who knows what that woman will do to hurt you?"

"Are you-are you saying that I can go home?" You couldn't help feeling hopeful of returning to your old life but that feeling soon crashed down when Henry smiled.

"I can't just let you go, my love," he chuckled, pulling you closer to him. "But I will take you somewhere you never have to go through anything like this ever again."

Later on, you would wonder if anyone ever questioned your disappearance or if Henry had spread some story to stop them from searching for you. Either way, it's not like anything that happened outside of the safehouse mattered. It was your only home now.

And the only thing you needed to concern yourself with was loving your King and serving him, and only him, until death do you part.

FIND ALL PARTS AND ASKS HERE

A/N: Please like, reblog and leave a comment if you enjoyed this! Feel free to request any headcanons for this character but I might not write anymore full fledged fics of Henry for a while lol.

@pinkrose1422 @justabratsworld

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abs-2020 · 1 year

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=Monster=

(Avatar)Colonel Miles Quaritch x Na’vi Reader

This is probably gonna have multiple parts guys

Warnings: SMUT/18+/violence/choking/pinning/overstimulation/heavy topics/Dirty talk/Virginity Loss/knife play maybe/size kink/FUTURE SMUT/Stockholm Syndrome/

P.S. uuuh stuff spoken in Na’vi is Italic and stuff readers thinking is blue

Summary: This takes place in ATWOW

Aaand you’re neytiris older sister, and you get captured in order to save jakes children and spider. <3

Authors note: This was a dream I had so y’all lucky I’m sharin 😮‍💨🤚🏻

———————————————————————————

It all went by so fast..

Lo’ak’s call for help saying that there was dreamwalkers in a place he shouldn’t be, Netyiris panic and concern, jake and his orders for you to stay put, And the gushes of wind left by the ikran’s and their mighty wings.

But all you could think in that moment was ‘Fuck No’ and your body moved before your mind could process what you had just done as you jumped onto your Ikran ‘Pepe’ and rushed to save your nieces and nephews.

Everything in those moments were one big blur as you jumped down from the tree dagger in hand ready to kill as you landed on top of the Dreamwalker in charge of the group that was holding your family member hostage. This caused him to let go of Lo’ak letting you pin the alien onto his stomach pushing his face into the dirt. Loudly you yelled in Na’vi for Neytiri and Jake to get their children out of here as you pinned the Alien to the floor a grunt escaping his throat.

Quickly you’d grab his hair pulling his head back only to lay your dagger to his throat, proceeding to hiss at the Dreamwalkers pointing their guns to you. Harshly you’d pull the Aliens head back farther than before showing no care or mercy for the pain or damage you caused him or his queue. Pushing your dagger deeper to his throat hissing again.

“(Y/N) I told you to stay back!!” Jake yelled panick lacing his voice.

“Lo’ak! Neteyam! Tuk! Kiri!” Netyiri would yell from above. Her voice was full of relief. Quickly you’d look around to find that your sisters kids had escaped. You’d sign in relief thanking yourself and the great Ewya for saving them and your sisters heart. “Thank you sister!”

“NOW GO! GO!” You’d yell teeth chattering. As your tail wagged frantically hitting the floor occasionally your ears lowering. “GET OUT OF HERE SISTER! I’LL BE OKAY!”

You lied and netyiri and Jake both knew you did. But they didn’t have any other option. Why would they Risk their kids getting captured again Or killed? And with that they left, you felt them leave your gut sinking was enough of a signal for you to know they were gone. Then everything sank in. Where you were, what you had just done, the aliens that surrounded you and their weapons. And then you thought to yourself ‘one is better than none. I might as well kill one before they all kill me’ pressing your dagger harsher against aliens throat your dagger piercing his skin causing him to hiss. with a hiss of your own you’d lower your face to the aliens ear that you had pushed into the dirt so roughly only moments ago venom and hatred radiating from your body.

“What’s the word boss?” A female alien would yell as she pointed her gun to you.

A sound of annoyance would leave your body as you looked at the dreamwalkers around you. They all looked so scared and that didn’t make sense to you. Why were they scared? They didn’t have the knife to their throats. This alien beneath you did, and he didn’t seem to budge not one bit. Your tail stilled but your ears remained back. You had a murderous look in your eyes as you stared the female alien down.

“SHOOT HER!” Another alien would yell this one wearing something black that covered his eyes.

“do NOT shoot ‘em!” The alien underneath you would yell.

Your head would shoot down to the alien and quickly you’d take your blade from his throat raising your arm ready to rid your planet of its nuisance only to have your hand grabbed and with a loud manly grunt have yourself get thrown onto your back and a knee brought to your gut. Before you could process anything your wrists would get pinned to the floor as a weight you have never felt before held you down.

“Well we’ll, what do we have here? A pretty little princess just for me.” The Alien from above would coo a smirk crossing his face while it’s fingers tickled your cheek.

With a click of your tung you’d turn your head to his fingers in an attempt to bite them off, only he was too quick. A chuckle would leave the aliens throat as he took his hand away from your face. With that you’d look away from the monster only to have a slap land across your cheek and a echo heard through the forest.

“Look at me bitch”

rough and forceful fingers would grab at your chin and force your face and eyes to meet those of the alien above you and in that moment everything slowed. ‘beautiful’ was the only word that would process through your mind as your eyes met the aliens. A zing would flow through your body as you stared into his yellow eyes and your body would stiffen. He was so beautiful, his eyes, his lips, his hair, but his eyes…No man had ever made you feel so strange and safe. But you weren’t safe and your body reminded you of that. You’d aggressively furrow your brows at the thought and spit in the aliens face and hiss.

The alien above would chuckle and lick his Canine digging his knee to your gut and foot into your wrist. His hand would go to your throat wrapping around the entirety of it. Your eyes falling to his forearms the sight of them making you feel uneasy and strange. an unwanted feeling pooled at your gut and heart as you stared at the veins traveling up his strong arms. Your thoughts were interrupted by his blood, the blood from the cut you left on his neck dripping onto your cheek causing a feeling of accomplishment to sit in your gut. The alien would watch his blood drip onto your cheeks its trail beginning to thump the floor and your legs trapped underneath its frame. The alien would smile again and bare his teeth as he leaned down to your face its hand squeezing your neck.

“Now princess that’s not very ladylike of you. But what you did back there was very noble I’ll give you that.” The monsters grip on your neck would tighten. your poker face never faltering. “But very stupid” the monsters words were filled with hatred.

You’d stay silent. You weren’t gonna talk. Why would you? This alien would have to kill you to get a word out of you. you’d gladly die than speak to such a disgusting creature. They killed your father and many family members. They killed Tsu’tey your bound to be mate. You didnt love Tsu’tey in a mate or romantic way, but you did love him and they killed him. His death left you alone and angry for the longest time. Your eyes would lock with the aliens once again and your eyes were filled with a fire ‘if only looks could kill’

“So you’re just not gonna talk? I know you understand me, I heard Jake speak English to ya. I ain’t stupid sweetheart” the monster would say as he flicked your spit from his face and slammed his hand onto the ground.

‘It’s intimidation tactics are pathetic’ you’d think to yourself. ‘It should’ve just killed me already’ and as if Ewya had answered your prayers the alien would grab your dagger the dagger your father gave you, the dagger your tried to kill him with moments ago. With a huff you’d close your eyes accepting your fate.

The alien above you would laugh, this had your eyes shooting wide open only to be met with the laughter of all the other dreamwalkers.

“You think I’d just kill you? No princess that would be way to easy. You’re my new tool” the monster above you would laugh as he strapped your wrists together.

‘Tool’ you’d think to yourself ‘the sky people are gonna try and use me? That’s just pathetic.’ “Naaaah!” You’d yell in annoyance at his words your ears going back as you shook your head like an annoyed child.

The alien would step off of you and stand picking you up by your wrists and throwing you over his shoulder in a swift motion. The alien would say something about moving out but your mind was to foggy to really catch what it was saying. As he carried your through the forest like a rag doll you’d take in all the scenery you could memories of you and netyiri flashing through your mind. Grace and her school. The war. Jake becoming the clan leader despite you being the oldest. Netayum being born. All the talks you had with Kiri and spider. Then your thoughts were stopped when a gush of wind and a loud mechanical noise filed your ears causing you to hiss and whine.

“Don’t like that now do ya kitty?” The alien would tease. Your glare at the alien below you. ‘I’m screwed’

——————————————Time Skip————

Your eyes would squeeze shut and your teeth would clap down onto your bottom lip causing blood to pour from the puncture. Your nails would dig into your palms and turn white as your tail whipped around.

“WHERE IS JAKE SULLY!!” A short human would yell at you. “JUST GIVE US ONE GOOD IMAGE AND THIS WILL END!” She’d yell again

Your eyes would water whilst being shut blood running from your nose and lip. The foreign machine you were strapped to making a terrible noise while it shocked your brain. This had been going on for 10 minutes. You hadn’t said a word and the pain had only increased as time went on.

~~~~(Miles POV)~~~~~

Miles had sat in the other room while they did their thing to you. He could care less about what they did to you, a nasty savage is all she he thought. Jake silly’s sister in law. Ms. Silly’s older sister. He wondered if killing you infront or her would bring her unbearable pain. But he was curious, you hadn’t said a single word to him. He wanted to see if you’d said anything to the humans. I’d they broke you. With that thought in mind he’d made his way to you. And what he saw caused his toes to curl and stomach to turn. You were sitting there strapped to that machine. Blue skin pale, fists white, sweat dripping from every pore in your body and blood. ‘BLOOD’ his mind would shout at him and as if his Body moved on its own rushing to stop the machine and it’s torture only to stop himself before his body did so. Shocked and embarrassed he’d swallow a dry lump in his throat and look around.

“Has she said anything?” He asked the colonel only for her to shake her head.

“She won’t spill” she said in annoyance as she looked at you not caring for the pain you were in. “ONE THOUGHT OF WHERE JAKE SULLY IS AND YOU’LL BE FREE! JUST ONE THOUGHT!”

“That’s surpris-“ miles ears would shoot back as his head turned to look at you sharply

~~~~~~(End of Miles POV)~~~~~

It had become too much. Way too much. The pain. the yelling from the random human. The noise of the machine. The straps holding you down. The pain from your lip. All of it. All of it too much. The only words of the human yelling at you that you caught was “one thought”. And like a rope snapping A blood curtailing scream would escape your lips and fill the room as your mind went to one thought.. the aliens eyes and his hands around your throat. But the pain would continue until it didn’t your head would fall to the side as your chest rised and fell your breaths ragged and short. Your eyes would open only to see the alien from before walking towards you before you passed out.

———————————————————————

Your tail would flick nervously as you sat in the corner of a white room a small silver table sitting in the middle, ‘way to small’ your head rested between your knees as you tried to calm yourself. These machines, the strange rock, the wall, the grey white and plainness of the sky peoples homes, it all frustrated you. In the midst of your panic you began to sing a song to yourself in Na’vi, one that your mother had sang to you multiple times when you were a child before netyiri was born.

“That’s a beautiful song princess” your eyes would widen and head would shoot up as you tried to jump back only to be stopped by the wall. Your hands would shove the alien in front of you away as you darted to the other side of the room only to be grabbed and thrown onto the small table the alien placing himself between your legs. the sight caused your stomach to turn in an unfamiliar way just like earlier. his hands resting on your shoulders causing goosebumps to rise “Whoa whoa, calm down there sweetheart. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Just here to talk.” Your eyes would lock with his and you’d try to tell yourself he was disgusting, but you couldn’t help but think he was beautif. ‘It! IT! It does not deserve to be anything other than an Alien and an It!’you’d tell yourself trying to change your thinking.

The alien would chuckle nervously. “Now are ya gonna talk or what? Cause if not I’m gonna have to let them strap you back down onto that machine” the aliens fingers would rub your arms causing your body to stiffen and your teeth to bare. “And we wouldn’t want that now would we princess?” The alien would smirk and take his hand off of you.

You’d take this opportunity to heart taking your legs to his chest and kicking as hard as you could causing you, the table and the alien to fly across opposite sides of the room. With a thud you’d hit the wall table slamming into your stomach trapping you against the wall. You’d shake your head pushing the table from your body a loud ‘FUCK’ filling your ears as you laid your eyes onto the monster before you. The alien would face you fists clenched and nostrils flaring.

“You wanna play?”The alien would tilt his head as his tails wagged ears going back as he bared his teeth and hissed. Raising his fists.

You’d Hiss back getting in a stance ready to fight. Your eyes would lock with his and you’d yell in annoyance as you leapt at him landing a blow to his face quickly he’d grab your wrist and turn it in n painful manner causing you to bite the hand that held your wrist and have him let go and yell

“You fucking savage! You keep this up I’ll put a bullet in your brain and make sure every inch of this planet is burned to the ground!” The monster would grab your hair and drag you back to the table flipping it upside right “now you’re gonna talk it I’m gonna cut this ducking thing!” The Alien would bark baring his teeth to you grabbing your Queue and holding a knife dagger to it.

“NO! You do not cut tsaheylu! YOU MONSTER!” You’d yell grabbing the aliens wrist in an attempt to keep his knife away. But you knew if he wanted to his arm could overpower your whole body. Has your hand gripped his wrist like a vice your eyes would lock onto his forearm. The memory of his hand around your neck causing your tail to whip. ‘I should not feel like this, this alien should not make me feel like this’

“Oh, you like my forearms princess?” He’d snicker “we all saw that little thought of yours earlier” slowly he’d place the knife back into its strap. Only to put his hand back around your throat. “Or is it maybe your a dirty little savage that likes to be chocked?” Your ears would go back as he slammed his hand onto the table between your legs. Someone’s hands being so close to your sacred place causing you to squirm and close your legs. The alien would take note of this a Laugh to himself. ‘Calm, calm, calm’

“Do not- I am not a savage! YOU PEOPLE ARE SAVAGES! Destroying the forest! Killing women and children! Taking so many lives, for what?? something you think is your to take in the ground?!” You’d yell as best you could his hand still around your throat.

“Well I’ll be damned princess, you speak a whole lot better than I thought you would. I wonder what else that mouth is good for.” The alien would say to himself for than to you. Your face would contort into confusion and disgust at his words. “So, you’re Sullys Sister-in law, aren’t you?” He’d ask

With a glare you’d respond nodding your head.

“Words princess.” The alien would say in a demanding tone.

“yes, you idiot” you’d bark only to have the aliens hand leave your throat and go to your cheeks squishing them together causing your lips to pucker.

“You WILL speak in English or Ill rip that tung of yours right out!” The alien would say in a threatening tone.

“Yes..” you’d say to the best of your ability your cheeks still being squeezed together.

“Good girl” the alien would bring his face closer to yours and patt your cheek finally letting go of your cheeks. “What’s your name sweet thing?” He’d say that stomach turning grin creeping onto his face again.

“(Y/N) (L/N)” you’d say looking to the floor again. Ears back and tail still.

The alien would wait a couple minutes and click his tung. “Tsk tsk, Aren’t you gonna ask me what my name is?” He’d say in a mocking tone pouting his lip. “Ask me my name” he’d demand his words like venom his spit landing onto your cheek.

A look of protest would cross your face, your mother would be ashamed of you right now. You’d bite your lip back not wanting to speak. The alien would stomp his foot and tilt his head in annoyance licking his lips.

“W-what is your name?” You’d ask barley above a whisper your eyes going to the floor shamefully. You’ve been made a fool. So compliant. Death would’ve been easier on you than anything else.

“Miles, Miles Quaritch.”

———————————/////—

Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5

Authors note: Welp there’s the end of chapter one?? If y’all like it. If not this is just gonna sit here forever. Uuuh feedback would be nice and cool lol. And I dunno. Yeah. Hole hell liked it. I love Miles.

2K notes · View notes

memo-blogs · 2 months

Text

Wish An Astarion x Tav (any gender) fic (wholesome/SFW) ((Also, contains spoilers for the game))

As the warm glow of the fading sun caressed the sky, he awoke. Alone, again. Astarion trekked up to the first floor window and peeked outside at the fading sun, longing more than for its warming rays. He looked at the note he had been carrying in his pocket again. The messy familiar scrawlings of his darling.

"There's something I have to do. Please wait for me. -Tav"

It had been days. Where were they? Why wouldn't they take him with them? His mood darkening with the sky, Astarion turned away from the window of his humble abode with Tav.

Or well, maybe "humble" wasn't the right word. Fabulous, well and tastefully adorned, just as Astarion liked it. Tav had smiled that adoring smile of theirs as they let Astarion decorate their home. "You always did have excellent taste, love", Tav had said as they helped Astarion put everything just so. They had been all around the world, looking for just the right drapes, cutlery, carpets, paintings and so on. Their home had two floors and a surprisingly large basement. The days spent finding and putting together the place were mundane and domestic, but full of so much warmth and gentleness that Astarion let a sigh escape his lips as he descended back to the basement floor, painfully aware.

Aware that while the house was exactly how he'd like his home to be, and that while he was excited to actually have a place to call home, it was just a place without Tav. Astarion walked the corridors adorning their nest with knick-knacks and memoirs from their travels together, chuckling at the vibrating dog-collar found in the Underdark, realising that the most at home he'd ever felt was with Tav. He opened their bedroom door and winced at the empty bed. Somehow, even though he had room to roam, and the right to leave the house every night, the empty loneliness of their shared bedroom reminded him of the year he spent in a coffin in isolation as punishment from Cazador. He shuddered. His back ached with the memory of abuse. But he also remembered how softly Tav had wrapped their arms around him, promising never again would he be trapped. And so far, Tav had more than kept their word.

He sat down on their bed. His and Tav's. Astarion absent-mindedly caressed the bedsheets, lost in thoughts.

Where was Tav? What could take this long? Why not take him with them? After all they'd been through together, didn't they trust him? Or… Maybe Tav needed to do something in daylight. Astarion felt the pang of loss. While being tadpoled by an elder brain had been a horror, he had enjoyed the unexpected side-effect of being able to walk in the sun, and missed it dearly. Maybe it was his elf blood that made him ache for the sun. Ah, but to be a vampire, and to walk in the sun! That had been power. That had been the first taste of delicious freedom for him.

Astarion let his thoughts wander back to Cazador's ritual of ascension. Would have sacrificing all those souls really been worth not having to thirst and to be free to walk in the sun? Gods. There were moments where he genuinely thought he'd give anything for that. Fearful, painful moments. And he was so close to giving in to his panic to never be caged ever again.

But then, he recalled Tav's hand in his. Their smiling face. Their selfless bravery in battle, shielding him, always having his back. The way Tav looked at him, how, even if Astarion was just joking that he only wanted vain empty compliments, Tav's responses were always sincere and full of affection. The gentle way they made love. Something about the way Tav loved Astarion was so true, he couldn't deny it. It was in everything Tav did. It was in the way Tav opened up about being a Bhaalspawn, and fearing they'd hurt him. How they weren't afraid of losing power or control or murdering innocents in general - Tav was more scared and willing to give up the one thing they truly loved, if it meant keeping him safe. Him. Astarion. A measly vampire spawn who, in the grand scheme of things, should have meant nothing to someone like Tav. Yet they had died at Bhaal's altar, giving up all that power to be a decent, regular person, and to have a chance to love Astarion. For Tav, it had been more important to die wanting to be good and to love than to give up their soul to live powerful but practically in slavery. Thank the gods Withers had been there to raise Tav as a mortal, no longer tied to Bhaal. To give them and Astarion a chance to live.

Astarion lied down on the bed. Tav loved him enough to set him free. Tav didn't want to own or control him. They never had. They had always let Astarion make his own decisions. Stood by Astarion when he confronted Cazador. Never telling him what to do, but supporting him through it all. If he had ascended, he would have been lost forever. He would have gained power, but he would have lost himself, and become a beast beyond reckoning… Probably very much like Tav almost did, like their sister Orin had. Astarion had read up on vampire lords after, and realised part of the reason Cazador had been so cruel wasn't only that his master Vellion had been equally brutal to Cazador… But also because the one edge spawns had over full fledged vampires, was that they were still capable of love. Of feelings. Cazador had hated him with a passion, partly because he couldn't feel anything else.

And what if it hadn't been him to have been swept up in the mindflayer ship? What if it had been one of his vampire siblings? If the roles had been reversed, and he was still stuck with Cazador while his sibling dealt with the Netherbrain with Tav, he would have hoped to have been given a chance to live as well. He chuckled. Gods. All those spawn down in the Underdark, wreaking havoc. Ah, to be a spider on the ceiling!

Astarion stared at the ceiling of their bed. Mindflayers and vampire lords weren't that different beasts, after all. Soulless opportunists looking to drain whatever they found useful until it no longer wasn't. Astarion turned his head to look at the empty pillow beside him. The longing and uselessness he felt almost made him want to be some emotionless monster. He got up, frustrated.

He felt alone and oddly fragile. More so with each passing day Tav was absent. He trusted Tav. They said they'll be back. So they would be. But Astarion was worried. He walked to Tav's bedroom table and picked up the Sending Stone. He had picked it up and put it down many times as the days passed. He rolled it in his hands again, pondering who to message.

He finally gave the Stone a squeeze, activating it, and uttered: "Shadowheart love, sorry to bother you on a wonderful night such as this, but do you happen to know where Tav is?" The Stone flashed, letting him know the message was sent. He waited for a response.

None came. Odd. They weren't exactly the bestest of friends with Shadowheart, but she had always given some sort of reply when he had messaged her. Was she missing with Tav? Did they take Shadowheart with them wherever they went, but not him? What was going on? He thought of their old companions. Wyll and Karlach were still in the Hells, as far as he knew. Halsin was rebuilding the Shadowlands now that the shadows were no more. Jaheira was rebuilding Baldur's Gate. Lae'Zel was long gone fighting for the freedom of her people. He didn't dare to even think what Minsc was up to, or how he'd respond to any message, really. This didn't leave him many options on who to try next. He squeezed the Stone again, activating it.

"Gale - would you be a dear and let me know if you have any idea where Tav is?"

The response came in surprisingly quick this time. "Astarion! A little busy right now - ack!" The response cut out.

Astarion sat back down on the bed, Sending Stone in hand. So Shadowheart was unresponsive and Gale, professor of magic in Waterdeep, was clearly in some kind of battle - what were the odds these two events were unrelated? What was Tav up to that they had called on Shadowheart and Gale, but left him at home to worry? He stood up and paced. What was going on?

He heard a weary sigh in his ear. "Astarion." It was Gale. He was sending a message back. Astarion stopped to listen. "Terribly sorry not to respond. In a bit of a spot of bother. We're helping Tav… Retrieve an item, and it is proving rather tricky. Not to worry! Shadowheart has patched up the worst of Tav's injuries and we're nearly done here. We'll bring Tav home tomorrow night once we've all rested from today's activities."

"Tav is hurt?" Astarion found himself nearly shouting. He contained himself and poised his next words to be more his usual lax self. "Do make sure to tell them to not drag any blood on my Calimshite carpets when you return. They were very expensive. I suppose I'll have dinner waiting after sunset. You still drink wine, don't you Gale?"

Gale chuckled. "Tav says they wouldn't dream of dirtying your precious carpets. And a fine wine with some cheese sounds wonderful. See you tomorrow."

Astarion put the Stone back on Tav's table. Honestly he couldn't care less about the stupid carpets or even this entire house - he just wanted Tav back safe and sound. Tav getting injured worried him, as he knew how annoyingly self-sacrificing they could be. Didn't they agree to look after themselves first after the whole mess with the Netherbrain? What was Tav thinking?

Astarion walked upstairs and put on a coat. He needed the air to calm his nerves, and a meal to quench his thirst. Plus, now he'd have to prepare dinner for at least three since Tav was coming home with an entourage. He thought back to where Tav placed the recipe for that strange sauce Gale kept harping on about, and with a put upon sigh determined to make his best effort to make the stupid thing. Tav would be happy if he tried to be kind to their friends. And if they brought Tav back to him alive, maybe slaving over a meal wasn't such a big thing.

The next sunset, Astarion felt a little pathetic, sitting by their door waiting. But he couldn't help it. He was anxious to see what Tav had gone out to retrieve that was apparently worth dying over. And mostly, just to see his beloved idiot again. It had been horribly lonely and empty without Tav. And honestly, just mind-numbingly boring. He had started preparing dinner early as he couldn't really sleep the day, waiting. It was simmering on their stove. He had gone a bit overboard with setting the table as well, picking out Tav's favourite flowers and bringing out their best cutlery for their friends.

Astarion gingerly stole a glance at the last rays of the sun diving underneath the horizon, and as soon as they disappeared, a teleportation circle promptly manifested in their yard. As expected, Gale walked out, looking behind him as if encouraging whomever was behind him to follow. Out came Shadowheart and surprisingly, Jaheira, supporting a limping Tav between them. As soon as they were through, Gale shut the portal behind them.

Astarion couldn't contain himself. He flung the door open and ran to hold Tav. He held them hard, as if afraid Tav would vanish if he let go. For a small moment, he was lost in Tav's familiar scent. The one he had come to associate with being loved and being home, and he managed to hold back his tears on how good it felt to have Tav near him again. Tav gently kissed Astarion on his head, laying their head on his. "Hello, darling. Miss me?"

Astarion suddenly felt acutely aware they weren't alone and broke off their embrace. He tried to ignore Jaheira's knowing smirk and Shadowheart's little smile as he turned to face the latter. "I thought Gale said you'd patch my precious knucklehead before sending them home. Why are they still injured?"

Tav looked embarrassed. "Well, uh-" They were cut off by Jaheira. "Because we only have so many healing spells to spare a day, spawn, and we did as much as we could after a night's rest for the reckless cub, Shadowheart and I." Jaheira smacked Tav on the shoulder, as if to reprimand them for needing healing in the first place. Astarion's eyes widened in shock. "How hurt were you?"

"Exhaustingly so." Shadowheart sighed. "For a moment there, I wasn't sure Tav was still among the living, or that we could even bring them back, but we did, thank Selûne."

"Aye, burnt to a crisp by that one trap we missed. Shame the temple was filled with so much undead-repelling magics that we couldn't risk bringing our favourite vampire spawn in there to check for all of them, but we managed."

Everyone stopped when they noticed how quiet Astarion got. There was an awkward silence that hung among the group, as everyone realised even without tadpoles to connect them that Astarion was not okay with the news given. Tav looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come along. I know you would have come even if I didn't ask if I said I was going. But, there is a reason for this." Tav signaled for Shadowheart and Jaheira to release them, and stood up on their own feet.

Astarion sighed. "Just don't do it again. Now, I've made enough dinner for all of you, and there are guest bedrooms upstairs if you want to stay the night. You can tell me all about it over dinner." Astarion walked up to Tav, offering them a hand to lean on as he led them home. Their friends smiled and walked behind them, grateful for the offer of a hearth, a meal and a warm home.

Tav whispered in his ear. "Just like that? You forgive me for taking off without you?" Astarion gave their arm a gentle squeeze. "Yes love. I said I trust you, and despite all the evidence to the contrary, I still do." They walked together into their home with their friends. "But please don't leave me alone like this again. I don't like being alone with my thoughts for so long." Tav kissed his pale cheek. "I promise. This was the last escapade I'll ever do without your blessing."

As they sat down for dinner Jaheira laughed. "Astarion, seems I have misjudged you yet again. Not only was I right in mistaking you for a good man, now I am beginning to believe I might mistake you for a great husband. This is a beautiful setup!"

"Oh hush, you old crone. It's just dinner among friends", Astarion quipped back, smiling despite himself.

Gale sniffed the air as he sat down. "Is that Hundur sauce I smell?" He took a small dab of sauce on his spoon and tasted it. "By Mystra, you even got the flavours just right! Astarion! I didn't know you had the makings of a cook."

"There are many things you don't know about me, darling."

Shadowheart piped in while breaking bread for herself. "Indeed - I for one, am having a hard time telling which one of you loves the other more, you or Tav. Especially after this stunt we helped them pull. It'd be disgusting if you two weren't so adorable together… What isn't a mystery though, is who decorated your house. Really, Astarion?"

"You're just jealous you don't have my sense of style, love."

They all smirked, Tav smiling the biggest of them all. "Thank you, everyone. For being here. For you three for helping me with this… We can talk about what we did, but I'd like to tell Astarion in private what we got out of it, if that's okay. And… Just, you are all my family and I love you all very much. I am honoured to be among such amazing friends, and could not ask for better ones. If you ever need anything, anything at all, call and you know I will be there."

A choked silence hung among them, as no one really knew what to add to such heartfelt words of affection. Astarion smiled. Tav was one-of-a-kind. And all his. Jaheira turned her head to wipe a tear. Shadowheart smiled. Gale cleared his throat. "Well, let's not waste our gracious chef's efforts by letting this feast go cold. Shall we?"

They ate together as mostly Gale and Shadowheart regaled them with the story of how they had found a long-abandoned temple of Lathander, and plunged into it's surprisingly sunny depths, with occasional snarky remarks from the wizened Jaheira of all the blunders they made along the way. Tav focused on the meal, following along the story, nodding in places in agreement on the retelling of their past few days, and laughing at everyone's quips and remarks on their mishaps while at it. Astarion wondered what was worth this much trouble. The Blood of Lathander was still with Shadowheart. What more could the sun god offer that was worth the risk? He also noted that Tav seemed oddly nervous, and avoided his gaze throughout the dinner, shyly blushing into their dinner whenever their eyes did meet. Astarion found himself anxious as well, every now and then letting his foot tap under the table before he caught himself, and composed himself once more.

Eventually dinner came to a close, and they saw their guests to bed. Shadowheart promised to finish healing up Tav as soon as she woke up and before Gale teleported them all back home. They wished their friends a good night.

Astarion gently helped Tav down into their basement bedroom, and then to take off their armour and clothes. Dawn was already approaching, which was their bedtime, as Tav had adopted Astarion's nocturnal schedule with ease. He noted the bruising, the burns, the barely closed wounds from the battles Tav had recently fought without him while undressing them. He got lost in softly caressing Tav's battered body, until Tav's hand found his, and gently held it. Astarion looked into Tav's eyes. "Alright. We're alone now - could you please tell me what was worth nearly killing yourself over, again? The suspense is killing me, darling."

Tav looked at their knees, searching for their words. "You know how you showed me your grave stone", they started.

"Of course love, how could I forget? We made such excellent love on top of it that night. I cannot think of a better way to celebrate my rebirth at the time", Astarion shot back with a devilish grin. "I fail to see how my faded grave stone has anything to do with your little adventure", he added.

"Well that's just it - your grave was so faded, we couldn't make out the day you died. Or the day you were born. And you still can't remember, right?"

"Well no, I can't and honestly, I don't really care to. That person is long gone and can stay that way for all I care. Why does it matter?"

Tav played with their hands in their lap. "Today's a year from the day we first met. I was afraid I wouldn't make it back on time, but I did." Tav used the bed post to stand up, and limped to their satchel. They took out an unassuming scroll case. "I figured, today could be both yours and my birthday. Since I can't remember my birthday either. It could be our anniversary. A day of celebration. Our day. And I went out and got the one thing I really, truly want to give you above all... I've been plotting ways to find one for some time now." Tav limped in front of Astarion and painfully but meticulously got on one knee. Astarion could feel his cheeks getting hot - a feeling he wasn't sure he was even capable of anymore, being undead and all.

Tav presented the scroll case to him. "The temple of the sun god had been rumoured to contain a Wish spell. I risked everything to find out if the rumour was true, and it was. With this scroll, anyone can wish for anything; once." Tav placed the scroll into Astarion's hands.

"I know how much you loved walking in the sun, Astarion. Your life was taken from you. Your freedom. Even the sun was stolen from you. I give you this scroll, so that you can wish for anything. You can wish to ascend without sacrificing all those spawn, you can wish to be rid of your vampiric curse, you could wish to rule the world - anything you want." Tav gently squeezed Astarion's hands, holding the scroll case, and looked up at him with their piercing eyes. "I love you, Astarion. And I always will. I give you ultimate freedom to choose anything you want, anything at all."

For a moment, it felt as if time stood still as Astarion fully absorbed what Tav just said. What they were offering him. Suddenly, he couldn't help but cry. He threw the scroll case into a corner of the room and knelt down to hold his precious Tav as close as he could. How had he gotten so lucky? After centuries of misery, how was he here, now, with this amazing creature? He kissed them deeply, passionately, as if trying to convey all his overwhelming affection and gratitude in one, two, no; dozens of kisses and caresses. He didn't care he was still crying. He didn't care if he seemed insane. He just wanted to feel Tav, and never let go. To tell them without words Tav meant more to him than anything he could ever bring home.

After awhile, he stopped and they leaned their foreheads together, holding hands. Astarion noticed Tav was crying too, but Tav gave him a little smile nonetheless. There was an unanswered question in Tav's eyes -

What did Astarion want to Wish for?

Astarion kissed Tav on the forehead once more. "You are a reckless idiot." He got up and picked up the scroll case, and took out the scroll. Such a mundane looking piece of paper, to give out a moment of godlike powers to mere mortals. He played with it as if it was nothing. Tav smirked. "I know. So love, what are you going to use it for?"

Astarion grinned back at Tav. "Oh, I don't know. World domination does sound like an awful lot of work, doesn't it? And I have never heard of a happy vampire lord, now that I think of it. Powerful, to be sure - but not happy."

"I could wish for a sea of puppy dogs and kittens for you", Astarion joked. Tav laughed. "I got the scroll for you, smooth brain. I already have everything I need - what I want, is you to be free, in whatever way you want to be free." Tav dropped their joking demeanor and picked up their surprisingly disarming sincerity. "With or without me, I want you to be happy. You helped me find freedom and regain myself and my life back. Without you, I'd still be a slave to Bhaal's endless fervour to murder, or a mindflayer. You believed in me when no one else did, and supported me through bouts of madness. I owe my life to you… So I want you to choose yours. And whatever you choose, know I'll always love you for carrying me through my darkest days."

Astarion looked at Tav. He didn't need to connect through the no-longer-present tadpole to know they meant every word. He looked down at the scroll of Wish in his hands. He could be anyone. He could do anything. He could be the most powerful, influential and beloved man in all of Faerûn - all he had to do was say the words.

The scroll knew he meant to make his Wish. It glowed in anticipation. He smiled at Tav. "I wish to be cured of vampirism and to be an elf that's capable of walking in the sun with his beloved."

192 notes · View notes

arcanealora · 2 months

Text

OBSESSED

pairing : Taehyung x female reader

genre : smut, dark romance (?), stalker au

rating : 18+

warnings : explicit language, stalking, hidden cameras, self pleasurings, rough making out, smut smut smut!, dom! Tae, sub! reader, unprotected sex (this is fiction don't take any risks!), little dirty talks, fingering, over stimulation, countless orgasms, champagne confetti (squirting lol), d!ck riding, rough sex (because Taehyung goes out of control), Taehyung is your enemy (atleast he pretends to be).

"FUCK YOU!" you yell at the top of your lungs, fuming with rage. Taehyung grabs your arm and pulls you in a corner of the club, "Your house or mine?" the smug attitude not leaving his face while he leans in to whisper these words in your ears. You push him away and let out a scoff, "Go fuck the girls you were dancing with earlier." you look away not letting him guess the jealousy on your face. "Why are you behaving like you are my girlfriend?" Taehyung asks making you look at him. "Eww I would rather die than be your girlfriend," you make a disgusted face making him scoff. "Feelings are mutual," he speaks before leaving you alone at that corner and goes for a drink.

You and Taehyung met a year ago in this same club through mutual friends and the first meet itself was a disaster. You have punched his face thinking that he stalked you to the club and in return he threw a glass of wine on your brand new dress, you both have never been on good terms since then. Your close friend Jimin, who is also his best friend, always tried to spark a friendship between you two but it always ended in something worse.

Lately, he has been acting very differently. He flirts, acts weird when you get close with someone and you have a feeling that he stalks you everytime you leave the club. Last week, you threw a house warming party and also invited him as you decided to end the beef but somehow things didn't end well because he introduced himself as your boyfriend to your parents when you had already told them you are single. Not that you parents have any problem with you having a boyfriend, you are an adult and mature enough, but they thought you lied to them. Hence, you and Taehyung got into a heated argument when he confessed that he just wanted to take the revenge of that punch you gave him a year ago like he already didn't mess with you enough.

And now you are confused as hell with all his behaviours, sometimes he acts like a jerk and sometimes he behaves like he owns you. You hate to admit but you have a soft corner for him, he is totally your type.

You hang your purse on your shoulder and walk towards the exit until he stops you, "What now?" Instead of talking, he comes closer to you and stroke your cheeks lightly with his long fingers. "Are you this drunk to act so soft with me now?" you snort. "beautiful," he breaths, "you look beautiful." There he goes again. "Hey, are you really drunk?" you furrow your eyebrows.

He chuckles softly and stops stroking your cheeks. "Don't you....," he brings his fingers to your lips, lightly brushing his thumb against your lower lip, "don't you love how my fingers touch you?"

Your eyes widen for a moment, you take a deep breath to calm the sudden acceleartion in your heart beats before speaking, "you confuse me Taehyung."

"Do I?"

you nod lightly.

"I am sorry," his voice seems soft and gentle unlike how it normally sounds, he removes his hand from your face and leans back to the wall.

you sigh and look at your watch, "I am leaving now it's late, have fun but don't drink too much."

He instantly grabs your hand and pulls you closer, "Fun? I swear I wasn't trying to get close with any girl, I was just vibing at the song and they joined in. That's it. Infact when they started getting closer to me I backed off, you can ask Jimin and you know he doesn't lie."

You listen him but your mind gets dizzy by the closeness and the way he is holding you.

"I... I really don't care even if you got close with them, you don't need to explain me." you remove his hand from yours and step a little back from the closeness.

"yeah right, why would you care," he looked down for a second and then back into your eyes, "by the way, I am not drunk.... I just had a glass of wine so don't think I am making you confuse because I am drunk."

"So why are you actually confusing me?"

"I think you should leave."

"Fuck you!"

"Aren't you too eager to fuck me?" he chuckles making you frown.

"In your dreams." you roll your eyes.

"We already did" he smirks

"what?"

"in my dreams.."

"what in your dreams?"

"You were leaving right? Bye." he speaks before leaving you dumbfounded again.

"Fuck you Kim Taehyung." you mutter under your breath and leave the club.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

Taehyung leaves the club soon after you, you were right... he stalks you everytime you leave the club but not today, he didn't.

He was so heated up from the earlier interactions you both had, the way your body almost pressed against his when he pulled you towards himself.... you would never know how crazy you make him just by looking into his eyes that he wants to pin you against some wall and make out roughly with you.

Well, he has some great self control or else the way you affect him, he just wants to fuck you senselessly..... everytime you were close to him, everytime you accidently touched him.... he has always went hard. And now after the club incident and the way you reacted when he touched your lips lightly, made him hard. He drives to his home and as soon as he enters his room, closing the door behind, he takes out his laptop and open some secret app. He types the long password and a blank buffering screen appears which suddenly opens the view of your room.

Yes, he did install hidden cameras in your room when you invited him for the house warming party and you never knew when he sneaked into your room. At first, he felt a little guilty so he never really tried to see anything even though he wanted to. It's been a week and he had hardly seen anything other than one time when you made him hard by sitting on his lap accidently and he couldn't control himself but that time he shut the video soon as you stripped in your room. He almost stopped breathing then, seeing you completely naked on his laptop's screen.

This time, his mind is filled with all the nasty thoughts. He is hard, he could watch porn but just seeing your naked body would make him release better than those porns.

He fidgets his fingers and tap his feet in anticipation, he sits straight when he hears the door opening sound of your room. You enter your room, closing the door behind and throw your purse on the floor, making him chuckle a little. You take off your heels and throw them aside too. You jump sit on the bed, crossing your legs and take your phone in hand. He frowns seeing you not strip out of the party dress already but little does he know that something else is waiting for him.

You scroll your phone screen but your mind still at the club interaction with Taehyung, you let out a sigh and search for his ig account. You got it quick as he was in your mutuals and his account wasn't private as well. Taehyung really didn't get any idea that you are stalking his account because he couldn't see what's on your phone screen. You keep scrolling until you reach to a video clip where he is playing piano :

youtube

you open this video and lean back on the head board of your bed, you smile a little at his dramatic reactions at first. Meanwhile, Taehyung in his room taps his feet faster, fidgeting his fingers on the table while he keeps his eyes fixed on you through the screen.

As the video goes on, his expressions and the way his fingers moves hits you a little differently.... your cheeks turns red suddenly. "Don't you love how my fingers touch you?" his words voices in your mind again and again as you see how his fingers work on the piano.. your breath gets a little heavy and you straighten up your legs... his expressions and his long fingers, the way it's working on the piano, makes your mind filled with dirty thoughts.

The video clip ends but you watch it again and again and everytime your breaths gets even heavier.... as you continue watching the video again, your hand slowly travells to your thigh.... you rub your thighs a little which makes Taehyung raise his eyebrow.

You spread your legs a little and your hand goes upward on your thigh... stroking it gently, you pull up the hem of your short dress revealing your bare thighs and your little shorts which you wore for safety reasons.

The next thing Taehyung saw was you pulling down your shorts and throwing it aside, now only in your panty. His breaths turns sharp and heavy... even with the panty on, you still managed to get him harder.

Your hand rest on your inner thigh as you continue watching the video, slowly it goes upward and now your fingers are pressed on your clothed clit. Taehyung gasps realising what exactly you are doing.

"Holy fuck," he mutters under his breath.

He leans closer to the screen, you start drawing circles on your clothed clit lightly.... his hands veins popping up by how tightly he was gripping the table as he was trying hard not to touch his hardened cock.

You start rubbing your clit hardly but your panty was still on, You paused the video and now spreaded your legs wide open, leaning back properly on the headboard as you rubbed your clit a little fast before entering a finger inside your pussy from the side of your panty.

"Take out that danm cloth y/n!" he slams the table a little hardly. His cock hardened and erect.

"Oh shittt," you whimper as you insert another finger. Taehyung's fists clench tightly, veins popping out hard and his breaths get heavy.... his cock was now painfully hard.

"Oh my god... mhmmmm..., " you moan when you bring your other hand to rub your clit.

You pause for a moment, breathing heavily... it seemed like you are trying hard but not able to get your orgasm.

Taehyung keeps looking at the screen, his eyes were filled with lust and desires, not moving away from the screen even for a second.

"cum. shit. make yourself cum," he breathed, "I wanna see that pretty reaction on your face when you cum, show me."

You resume the video clip of him and finger yourself while watching it, your eyes fixed on every move of his fingers in the video and the way he is giving those horny reactions. You move your fingers faster but still far from your orgasm.

Taehyung's eyes fixed on your fingers and your clothed clit which was slightly visible now, his mouth open a little. He was waiting not so patiently to see you cum.

"Oh my god Taehyung, fuckkkk!!!" you moaned loudly closing your eyes and fucking yourself even faster which made Taehyung widen his eyes, mouth hung open and mind blank for a moment. He gulped hard, his adam's apple bobbing, as his throat went dry. His grip on the table tightened even more.

"Repeat." he muttered under his breath almost loosing all his patience to hear you moaning his name once again to make sure he heard correct.

"T-Taehyung.... fuckkkkk, oh god.... his fingers, I need it. Fuckkk" you whine, closing your eyes tightly, completely frustrated on not being able to relax yourself with the orgasm you need.

"FUCK!" he cursed the moment he heard his name again, he stood up with a jerk making his chair fall behind and rushed out with his car keys. His breaths were hitched, heart pounding in his chest and his cock standing erect, he didn't touch it even once to calm himself down. Now, he just wants to fuck you senselessly and then will his hard cock relax. He wants only your pussy around his cock, he didn't care how painfully hard he was... he will release only inside you and he didn't think twice.

He was driving his car in insane speed, almost getting into an accident... his hands gripping the steering wheel. Frustration crazying him as he was not able to increase the speed anymore, as if it was even possible.

He stops his car by pressing the breaks harshly when he reached your house, almost crashing to the parked car outside of your house.

He quickly gets out of the car and run to ring the doorbell, you flinch hearing the doorbell at this time. It was unusual for you. You get off the bed and set your dress properly. By the time you reached the main door of your house, he had almost broke it by banging the door continuously.

You open the door revealing a heavily panting Taehyung, sweats dripping from his forehead. Your eyes widened.

"You? what-"

Before you could even complete your question he came inside and grabbed your waist pulling you into a rough kiss. You gasped, shocked and confused. He closes the door behind and turns you around, pressing you against the wall as he kisses you deeply. Your mind was completely blank but you felt melting in his kiss. You kissed him back, giving in, his lips moved against yours harshly... he bit your lower lip making you gasp lightly and entered his tongue in your mouth. His tongue rubbed your lips and then explored every corner of your mouth. The sound of your sloppy and rough kiss was clearly heard.... he was literally devouring your mouth.

You were completely breathless, in need of oxygen but he was not in a mood to leave your mouth so soon. You patted his shoulder asking him to let you breath. He sucked and bit your lips before pulling away from the kiss. You were now more surprised by how roughly he was kissing you even though when he was literally panting when he came here and now you are the one completely breathless. You panted heavily holing his shoulders and he let you calm a little before speaking,

"Now take off that little panty of yours and let me help you with what you were trying for, so hardly." he whispered leaning forward towards your ear, his words came like he is ordering you and you have no other option. You gasped at his words.

"What?" your eyes still widen from shock.

"Don't you need my fingers? You just begged for it baby and seems like your prayers has been heard" he smirks darkly.

You were not able to figure out how does he know and your words were completely stuck in your throat.

"H-how?" you stuttered not able to speak anything more.

The dark smirk was still playing on his lips as he spoke, "Only if I knew you were this needy for me, I wouldn't think twice before fucking you instead of watching you live from the hidden cameras."

Your eyes widen even more and mouth slightly open.

"Hidden what?"

"So you were serious everytime you said 'Fuck you' to me huh? What a bad girl you are, fucking yourself while imagining my fingers on you. What else do you imagine about me baby?"

your cheeks were red from embarrassment and you didn't look into his eyes so he held your chin and made you look up.

"Won't you take me to your room? I promise I will pleasure you better than you imagine... you don't need any video of mine when I am here to fuck you better than you want," he lifts you up in his arms and walks towards your room, "I will make sure to give you as many orgasms as you want."

As soon as he enters your room with you in his arms, he sits down on the bed and places you on his lap before kissing your neck.

"Strip and lay down on the bed, now." his voice completely demanding. You gulp a little as you get off from his lap and stand infront of him.

"Don't make me wait anymore, you have already made me enough impatient," he spoke indicating towards his visible bulge which made your mouth slightly open again. He chuckled at your reaction.

"Now strip but leave that panty of yours on your body," he orders and you follow his words without thinking anymore.

You take off your dress and your bra, leaving yourself only in the panty and lay down on the bed. You fidget your fingers in the nervousness, taking deep breaths.

He sits infront of your legs and spread them wide... He sucked in a deep breath when he saw the wet patches on your panty which you got earlier from rubbing your clit.

He wanted to destroy that little pussy of yours but also wanted to give you the best pleasures so he decided to take things in order. His hand strked your thighs gently and without wasting anymore time he reached your inner thighs, rubbing them with his fingers. You gasped and gasped with every touch of his.

He tried his best to control himself but the tention inside was more than enough to make him loose his mind, he took of your panty and threw it aside, you heard a gasp from him.

"Holy fuck! you are dripping from wetness.," his mouth watering at the sight infront of him, "all this for me?" he asked, his hands were very near to you heat. You nod, closing your eyes as you felt the embarrassment.

"So fucking pretty," he muttered running his fingers on your folds. A current ran through your body when he touched your heat, you whimpered lowly.

He pressed his finger on your clit and rubbed light circles on it making your chest rise with heavy and sharp breaths. He was loving the reactions you were giving him, just like he wanted.

Without wasting a single second he inserted his middle finger in your hold making you clench the bed sheets. He started pumping his fingers in and out, his thumb rubbing the soft bud as he increases the pace.

"I want to hear my name from that pretty mouth of yours, moan for me." he ordered seeing you trying to control fyourself from making any noice.

"shit! Taehyung," you finally moaned, you actually wanted to but you thought it would be embarrassing.

"How gorgeous you look moaning my name like that when I fuck you with my fingers," he groaned inserting another finger which made you gasp louder.

Your mind goes dizzy with all the pleasure and you feel yourself at the edge, "I... I will cum.." you speak between your shaky breaths.

"Cum for me princess."

You were too busy wanting your climax that you didn't actually pay attention to the nick name he just called you with.

His fingers expertly caress your bundle of nerves, causing ripples of exquisite sensations to travel through your entire being. A wetness gathers around his digits as they dance with skill on your aching clitoris and inner walls. The feeling intensifies, pushing you further beyond your limits as pleasure becomes almost unbearable but just when you think you may succumb, he increases the pressure on your peak, sending wave upon wave of bliss coursing throughout your eager body.

"Ahhh fuckkkk! Taehyung~" you moan loudly as you reach your climax and get that orgasm which you wanted from so long.

Taehyung doesn't stop, he continues to masterfully pleasure your throbbing clitoris and tenderly explore your pulsing insides, bringing you to shuddering orgasm after orgasm until the sheer ecstasy consumes you completely. Your cries fill the air as your muscles contract again and again, writhing beneath him. Yet, even amidst the rapture of climax, Taehyung doesn't slow down. His unrelenting devotion keeps the electric currents flowing through your veins, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

You feel another pool of pleasure forming inside your stomach as you keep moaning from how fast and roughly he was fingering you now.

"Oh god... Oh god... Taehyung please..." you whine but he just doesn't stop.

"yeah princess?" he asks innocently and you just shake your head.

"How badly you needed my fingers? how many times did you touch yourself imagining me huh? such a bad girl, you could have just asked me baby," his voice hoarse, "is my fingers making you feel good? is it satisfying you the way you always imagined?"

You nod your head instantly, "yess, yes... yess, Please don't stop."

He chuckles darkly before speaking, "I have no intention of stopping, not until you beg me to."

Taehyung grinds his knuckles into your overheated clit, applying a steady, relentless rhythm. Each pressurized pulse hits your sensitive area, ripple after ripple of pleasurable sensations spreading outwards. The pace quickens, as he adjusts the angle of his thrusts, finding new ways to stimulate every last inch of your core. Sweat begins to trickle down your temples and spine as your heart races faster in anticipation. Your head lolls back, surrendering to the building tide of passion.

soon another orgasm washes over you as you cum once again, moaning his name loudly. He stops for a moment, letting your breath.

"Fuck! That was-" you swallow the rest of your words as he inserts his finger once again without any warning.

"Fuck!!" you let out a cry, you were still coming down from the intense pleasure you just got and he started fingering again.

Your voice echoes, fueling his determination. He ferociously strums your throbbing nub, maintaining a firm grip on your hips to keep you grounded in this passionate frenzy. Rapid, heated breaths escape your lungs as the tension builds within you. Your body instinctively responds, clenching and releasing sporadically in a futile effort to delay the inevitable explosion of desire. It's no use, the sensation proves too powerful; your breasts heave as a low moan escapes you. And then comes the wave, threatening to overwhelm you.

"Oh fuckk.... please....." you whine, your thighs tremble and clenches on its own but he grabs and keeps it firm not allowing you to move.

"I promised that I will give you plenty of orgasms so be a good girl now." he growls.

You close your eyes tightly from the overwhelming pleasures, you were not able to breath properly other than moaning and screaming.

Taehyung's hairs sticks on his forehead from the sweat dripping from his head, his eyes focused on his fingers thrusting in and out of your pussy and his thumb rubbing your clit. He seemed so determined to give you orgasms, his eyes was dark and filled with hunger.

Your voices echoes.

"HOLY FUCKKK!!!! FUCKKKKK!!!!" you scream louder as you cum again, thrice, your body arched back and toes curled, your fingers dug in the bedsheets and eyes rolled back, chest rised up as you feel another strong orgasm. Your mind completely goes blank for a moment. You squirt all over his fingers but he just doesn't stop, his other handstarts rubbing your clit senselessly, taking out all the liquids from inside your pussy. A huge mess.

"Taehyung~ please~ I can't take it more... please" you beg him as tears roll down your eyes.

He slows down his fingers eventually stopping it and then pulls it out. He gently pats your throbbing and heated clit to calm you down. Your pussy was literally pounding from all the intense orgasms and assault.

You take heavy breaths and gulp to wet your dry throat. He leans in and kisses your lips again before taking you in his lap.

"Now help me princess, it's painful." his words were begging but his voice was still demanding.

you kiss him once again before pushing him down on the bed.You unbutton his shirts quickly and then pull away his pants along with his boxers. His length bouncing out, a gasp escaped your mouth seeing how big and hard he is.

"Will it even fit?" you asked making him chuckle.

"It will fit and you will take it all like a good girl you are." you can feel how big of a dominant he is and you liked it that way, being submissive to him in bed was not bad at all.

with a sultry grin you, you crawl towards him, perching yourself above his rigid erection. You can feel the tip of his cock brushing against your entrance, you rub his length on your folds gently, moaning at the sensation.

"Fuck! Take it already" he groaned and you followed. Inch by inch, you sink deeper onto him until finally your wetness embraces his entire length, surprisingly fiting in your little cunt. That's how nicely he fingered you.

"Are you okay?" he asks massaging your breasts.

"Fuck, yes I am." you let out a low moan, adjusting yourself on his cock.

He grabs your hips as you start moving slowly on his rock hard member..

"Holy fuck, you feel so good," he moans, "more than I ever imagined"

"you imagined me like this?" you ask rocking your hips on his cock.

"Always, everytime I was hard.... I always imagined fucking you like this to release myself," he groans and his hand grip guiding your hips in a perfect rhythm, "you feel so good, so fucking good."

"fuck!" you curse at the feeling of being impaled by him and his confessions were so intoxicating. You increase your pace, riding and grinding against him, undulating in time with pulsating rhythm.

His hands wander across your frame, cupping and pinching your erect nipples, sending bolts of electric pleasure coursing through your veins.

You could hear how seductive his moans were and how erotic it sounded, it felt like a music to your ears when he moaned your name buried inside your pussy.

His other hand rested tenderly upon your breast while the other hand helped you ride him relentlessly, with every thrust your hips squeezed his manhood tightly. a series of rippling pulses causing tremors throughout his lower body.

Moans escape from the depths of your throat, your body arching slightly with each contractions. Feeling the mighty grip of your core contracting around him. His cock twicthes inside your pussy hinting his edge.

"Cum Taehyung, like you always wanted to... cum inside my cunt... fill it with your hot release." you hype him up, as you reach your own high, earning a deep growl from him.

"Fuck! you are such a slut for me. Aren't you?" he growls, his wands now gripping your hips firmly increasing the pace to unimaginable speed.

"Fck yes!" you let out a cry.

"Then cum with me princess, come one.. show me how good of a slut you are."

He guides you to your another climax while reaching his own.

Your body arched back completely, nails dug on his chest as you both reach your climax together.

"FUCK! Such a good girl you are!" he moans loudly, releasing himself inside your cunt.

His hot and sticky fluid fills your pussy, you fall on his chest... panting heavily and his arms wrap around you.

He kisses your forehead, the least thing you could have expected and runs his fingers along your hairs once he calmed down.

"I love you." his voice soft now but still shaky from breathlessness.

You rise your face to look at him, "you what?"

He nods confirming his words, "I love you, I really do."

"Just because you had a good fuck with me?" you frown.

"No, I mean yes it was the best sex I will ever have because it's our first fuck together but I really love you."

"Since when?"

"Since the day you punched my face" he chuckled

"and you always pretended to hate me, why?" you ask, unknowingly pouting a little.

"because I liked teasing you that way, I liked the tention between us, didn't you?" he stroked your cheeks gently.

"I would hate to admit but yes, you attracted me a lot like that."

"The reason you were fucking yourself watching my video." he chuckled teasing you a little.

"uh.. and you literally installed hidden cameras here, how many times did you watch me doing that?"

"if I watched you earlier then we wouldn't be fucking for the first time today princess," you finally notice the nick name he is calling you with and a smile tugs in your lips, "its just been a week since I installed the cameras but I swear I rarely saw anything except for today, I got so needy from the club that I couldn't control myself."

"wish you watched me earlier." you speak as he continues caressing your cheeks and hairs.

"bad girl you are."

"only for you and I love you too" you confess before pecking his lips gently and he wraps you in his arms, smiling widely.

"I think I will get the best sleep today." you mumble against his chest and he just strokes your hairs after pulling a blanket over you both.

"Good night princess." he kisses your head once again.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

A/n : Believe me, this is the first time I actually wrote a proper smut like with the proper words and all. It took me hours to complete and I honestly don't know what all I wrote and if it's good because I was too horny to focus properly, I just went with the flow. Please bare with any mistakes and yeah it's my first time writing such story so please show some love y'all :)

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ponderingmoonlight · 16 days

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Chapter 1: From Tradegy to Fantasy - Awakening in Another World

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Warnings: reader's death, language

Genre: Isekai, Romance, Fantasy

Synopsis: Your life takes a tragic turn as you perish in a car crash, only to awaken in a whimsical world of fantasy with none other than Jujustu Kaisen characters as its main protagonists. But as if that wasn't enough, you're about to marry the prince version of Gojo Satoru. How will you navigate through this world of history and fantasy? Does your life take the same sudden twist of fate as that of your favorite characters?

Next Chapter ->

„Are you reading those strange stuff again…What was it called? Manga?”

“I’m only watching the anime because of that hot blindfolded guy.”

You don’t even try to look up from your phone, currently reading the newest publication of the Jujutsu Kaisen manga over some sketchy site online. That hot blindfolded guy…You’ll never understand why some girls are only watching Jujutsu Kaisen because of him, Gojo Satoru. This world has so much more to offer, so much more than this overpowered character not even Gege himself likes.

“It’s not exactly reading”, you mutter, so sunken into the drawn fight in front of your eyes that you simply can’t look away.

“(y/n), come back to reality. We have some classes to attend.”

Out of instinct, you roll your eyes. You’ll probably have to listen to that one professor who always talks about himself and simply reads through his presentation for three hours straight, not even allowed to look at your phone and do something useful instead. Urgh, being an uni student sucks.

“Give me a minute, I’m just finishing this chapter.”

When your friends start walking, you follow them without paying attention. This is it, the fight you’ve been waiting for. Maybe this time someone is able to defeat Sukuna, maybe this will be the day you’ve been waiting for. Fuck plot armour, fuck all the horrible things that happened last, all the beloved characters that had to die. Damn, you still miss Geto to this day. If they would have noticed sooner, he might be still alive-

“(Y/N), WATCH OUT!”

You always wondered about how death must feel like. Getting consumed by darkness, getting dragged into sheer empty space. Does it hurt? Will you die right on the spot and feel absolutely nothing? What about that myth about reminiscing your own life shortly before your death?

The second you looked into those blinding car lights, you knew exactly that you are next, that there is no way you’ll survive the hit that will sweep you off your feet, that throws your body into the air like a plastic bag.

How pathetic to die like this. Getting hit by a car while being glued to the sketches of fictional characters on your phone. What will your parents say, your family, your friends? You don’t want to die like this, but still…

You allow your eyes to rest against your harsh light, your phone dropping to the phone. You can’t escape the hit. Maybe, just maybe, you will wake up in a better world.

If stuff like that even exists.

When you open your eyes again, you brace yourself for an immense wave of pain hunting down your body, for getting greeted by those way too harsh hospital lights. But instead, your eyes open with ease. Instead, you get greeted by the dim light of a golden chandelier in and a well-painted ceiling in all different shades of purple.

“Where on earth…Am I?”, you mutter to yourself.

The second you look down on you, your heart drops to the floor. You aren’t wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized tee like you always do. No, you are covered in the softest white fabric you ever felt from head to toe, an elegant lavendel ribbon tied around your waist. And that delicate jewellery...

Immediately, you yank out of bed and almost trip over the hem of the white dress, coming to a stand in front of a mirror.

This isn’t possible. No, this has to be a feverish dream. Maybe they put you into coma after…

You swallow hard, reality hitting you with full force. You died. As soon as the car hit you, you were dead right on the spot and you knew it instantly. But why does everything feel so damn real? Frantically, your hands wander around the sweaty face that looks back at you in sheer horror through the mirror, stare at the lavendel eyes that don’t look like yours at all. But those facial features, the way your hair falls.

Is it…you?

A violent scream escapes your lips before you’re able to stop it, guts turning so uncomfortably that you feel like puking every minute. This can’t be true. This can’t be your reality now…Just before your feet give in, you grab the cool golden frame of the mirror, allow your spinning head to rest for a second.

“Lady Zenin, are you alright!?”

That distant voice, who is it talking to? Lady Zenin…Like Toji, Mai and Maki Zenin? Maybe you didn’t die but got kidnapped into a pervert cosplay party. Slowly, you turn around, face sticky in cold sweat.

But the man standing in front of you doesn’t look like a creep at all. No, he’s a truly elegant man. Maybe in his 50s, but it is clear that he’s taking care of himself. His eyes look at you worried, his gloved hands stretched out in order to help if you fall.

“Where…Where am I?”, you press out.

This isn’t your hometown. Fuck, this isn’t even your home country, not even your timeline. The stuff in this room looks so old and somehow magical, let alone that dress you’re wearing.

“I don’t understand, Lady Zenin. You are in your room”, the man replies visibly worried.

“What country?”, you probe.

“My lady, we are still in Avaloria…Are you feeling unwell? Shall I call the doctor-“

“In Avaloria. And I’m Lady Zenin…”, you mumble to yourself.

This doesn’t make any sense. You didn’t pay that much attention to geography, but you know for a fact that Avaloria isn’t a real country and that your last name definitely isn’t Zenin. But oh that last name is definitely familiar to you, so familiar that it’s frightening. Suddenly a shiver runs down your spine, dark foreshadowing letting your fingertips shake.

“What is my father’s name?”

You don’t want this answer. No, all you want to do is waking up from this dream, from this nightmare. You aren’t a lady, you aren’t a Zenin. You are nothing but plain (y/n) who adores anime and manga a little too much and still goes to university. You are nothing but a normal young woman.

“Your lordship…Your lordship is called Naobito Zenin, my Lady”, he stutters.

“And my brother’s name is Naoya, huh?”, you huff out.

This has to be a bad joke, right? What is this man, a stand-up comedian, maybe? You cross your arms in front of your chest, force your body to stop shaking. You need to put this madness to an end right now.

“Yes, exactly my Lady!”, the man in front of you literally cries out in relief while the ground is pulled underneath your feet.

No, nothing about this is right. These men, their names…They are nothing but an invention by Gege Akutami, nothing but drawn figures in a book adapted into an anime. They are nothing but fantasy, nothing but fiction.

“B-But…”

Your voice fails as your mind can’t process anymore. Is it really possible that…You were reincarnated into a world like this?

“Are you causing a scene again, sister?”

You don’t recognize the voice speaking behind you, but something inside you tells you that if you turn around, you will be greeted by…

Cold, sharp brown eyes.

Your very own orbs widen in sheer horror. Those dark green roots, the annoyed look on his face, his tall muscular frame. He looks exactly like the manga made him appear. But instead of wearing a kimono, he is dressed in a black uniform with golden and purple details.

“You’re looking like a fucking prince…”, you breathe out.

“Are you trying to upset me, (y/n)?”

“Master Naoya, the lady doesn’t appear like herself today. Shall I call the doctor?”, the older man speaks with low voice.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

He grabs your chin before you’re able to stop him, his cold glare hitting you with full force.

Naoya just touched you. Fucking Naoya Zenin is standing in front of your very own self, his fingers wrapped around your chin, staring at you so intensely that you feel like fainting any given minute.

“Don’t you dare to mess today’s meeting up because of your weird acting. It took father and I months to arrange a meeting with that lousy prince. Let’s hope that he finds liking in you or else I’ll marry you below your status”, he hisses into your face.

“You can’t just arrange my wedding. Who the hell do you think you are?”, you spit into his face out of instinct.

“All the attention must have gone to your head, (y/n). Who do I think I am? I am your big brother, father’s right hand. And you are nothing but a woman. Your only worth is to marry into a wealthy and influential family. I will never understand why the prince of our country found a liking in you. Apart from a pretty face, you have nothing to offer.”

He yanks your chin away roughly, forces you to take a few steps back and almost sends you onto the floor with the sheer force of his fingertips. Your body quivers in anger, hands balled into fists so tight that your knuckles stand out white.

“I don’t need a prince, I know my own worth you fool!”, you demand.

“Who taught you to talk like this? You are a lady, (y/n). Finally start to act like one or I will tell father about your behaviour. Maybe a venesection will cause your mouth to finally shut, what do you think?”

“A vene-what?”

“Urgh, just be quiet and get yourself ready. You will meet the prince as soon as you are presentable. And don’t you dare to disappoint us”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

And then he’s gone in the wind while you stand in the middle of the room, still unable to catch your shaky breath. Who the hell does this guy think he his? Where exactly are you, what world is this? Your head begins to spin so violently that you fear to lose your balance, your whole life crashing down on you like a house of cards.

This isn’t 2024 on mother earth anymore. This…this is something completely different. And that man who introduced himself as your brother made it all too clear that there’s no way you’ll survive here if you don’t play along. Maybe it’s like in that anime you just watched, the one with the girl names Raeliana. If that’s the case…

“Please call in my maids. I wish to be dressed”, you speak out monotone.

“Of course, Lady (y/n).”

You will play along. But there is no way in hell you’ll let him force you into a marriage with some strange prince you don’t even know. Your eyes are fixated on themselves, the new lavender color gleaming back at you being so unknown as well as all those women who scurry around you.

Who is this prince, anyway? If you’re really in some strange jujutsu kaisen verse, it must be another character. Maybe Geto…Oh, that would be nice. But what if it’s Sukuna? You shake your head, haunt away your stinging imagination. No, you won’t marry the king of curses. Actually, there aren’t many men you’d like as your husband.

How is this supposed to turn out good?

-at the salon-

You feel like fainting any given minute, heart pounding so roughly against your well-dressed ribcage that every beat sends a shiver down your spine. If the man standing in front of you isn’t called Geto or Nanami, you don’t want him. And apart from that…Aren’t you too young to marry anyway? Why does your family want to get rid of you so badly?

“It is so nice to finally meet you in person, Lady (y/n).”

Your heart drops to the floor.

That voice.

Fuck. It’s no doubt that it’s him.

“Let me introduce myself properly: I’m Prince Satoru, the future king of Avaloria.”

The second your brother steps aside, you get greeted by bright blue eyes and a cheeky grin.

This is Gojo Satoru, that “hot guy with the blindfold”, one of the last men you’d like to marry even if he’s dressed in a fine suit with red and blue details. Out of instinct, you cross your arms in front of your chest, narrow eyes staring him into the ground. You will never understand the hype behind his smile and eyes when it’s all too clear that he’s a player, a womanizer. A man like Gojo Satoru isn’t the husband you were imagining, not the man you were looking for since you were a child.

“I’m not marrying that man”, you announce into the silence of the room.

Soo, this was the very first chapter of my new series and it makes me beyond excited! So please, if you enjoyed it, it would make me beyond happy if you like/comment/reblog that work of mine and let me know what you think. Thank you guys so much for your constant support, it means the world 🤍

Tags: @m0k0k0 @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @risuola @fire-loving-siren @sunshine7queen @gatitam @kentocalls

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insxghtt · 1 year

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the rage of a mother II — aemond targaryen x reader

You once told Aemond that you cannot escape the rage of a grieving mother. He wished he had listened.

warnings: angst, blood, grief, death, i honestly don’t know what this is but it’s sad.

this is a “part 2″ of this request. idk if i’m gonna turn this into a fanfic but i was just feeling it. it’s small, there will be another part if you guys want to. english is not my first language so i’m sorry if you find some mistakes. hope you like it!

One month had passed since the night the two men broke into your home and tried to take your daughter away from you. It took Rhaenyra one month to come up with a new plan. This time was different because now she knew what you were capable of doing just to protect your child.

The rules did not seem to matter anymore. At least, not for Rhaenyra. She had to play with new cards. You would never let anyone get close to your daughter except for yourself and your husband. It would take more than two men, more than a whole army. She needed the gods to help her.

It didn’t matter if those gods were not from the light.

Part of Rhaenyra didn't believe the witch of the woods would be able to bend the rules of nature enough to enter your castle. The other part knew that, if she did, she’d be selling her soul to the darkness. But what difference would that make? The pain of losing a child already seemed to swallow all the light inside of her.

Aemond could still hear you crying. The maids had warned him about his wife’s delusions. You were screaming next to the crib, where your child was lying. Her body that was so warm just minutes ago was now freezing cold.

“The witch!”, you yelled with thick tears streaming down your cheeks. “The witch took my baby!”

He’d spend the rest of his life remembering that moment. The day he had his daughter taken away from him.

She was dead. An innocent little girl killed because of her father’s mistakes.

But that night he didn’t just lose his daughter, he lost part of his wife too. Some said you've gone mad being in the presence of something so evil and powerful. You heard your baby crying inside the walls of the castle, like she was asking for help.

You also heard what your husband’s family said about you. “There was no witch. The grief makes people see things.”

The only one who believed you was Aemond and he had to see you become just as cold and angry as Rhaenyra Targaryen. And, suddenly, the war was not about a throne anymore. It was about two mothers with thirst of blood.

“You cannot escape the rage of a grieving mother”, you said once.

He wished he had listened.

part III

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junie-junette · 9 months

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"Oh, Starlight". Quiiiiick sketch of my babiiiiies of the moment aka Cid and Clive from ff16 (Yep. I'm still not over it ok ? And I'll probably won't be soon). This quick sketch came to me after reading the very good fic of @/KaedeRavensdale (on twitter) "Holding Fire, Clutching Flame" (take care, spoilers in the resume !)

I'm so thankful to all the all the writers here giving me my dose of Cid and Clive, you can't even imagine !

#ff16 #final fantasy 16 #Cid x Clive #cidolfus telamon #clive rosfield #clive #cid #mm #romance #my art #fanart #fanfic #drawing #I'VE GOT TO MANY FEELS FOR THEM HELP ME #I DIDN'T READ FANFIC SINCE 2015 OKAY ?!

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ecoamerica · 21 days

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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freedomfireflies · 8 months

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The Angel and the Fae | H.S.

The one where Harry is an angel that falls in love with a garden fairy.

And even the heavens can't keep you apart.

Based on this idea!!

Part One:

~ The Angel and the Fae

#harry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #the angel and the fae #forbidden romance #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles fantasy AU #angel!harry

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rain-in-the-clouds · 2 months

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To Your Desire.

Paul Atradies x Feyd Rautha Harkonnen

Princess Bride AU

Word count: 11,218

M/M pairing

Warnings: NSFW, graphic depictions of sexual acts.

Part One

Paul stared out past the balcony where he sat in the lavish castle where he currently resides. Though for him it was a gilded cage. The rolling forests that wash into meadows and sprawling grasslands. It was beautiful, bright lush greens and colors the young Atradies only seen in holo-logs. But the beauty that laid before him was a melencholes sight; something he’d grown to hate, a reminder of his unchanging fate.

He missed his homeworld of Calidan. The never ending ocean that graced every horizon, and the cold air that blew over every bit of land. But mostly he missed his old life, the one that died with his love years ago.

(flashback)

Paul grew up on Calidan, a world blessed with seas. He came from a grand house, his family line long and proud. At one time he cared about his familial history, took pride in his social standing. But in truth it was mostly a front, he loved his family, the caring and loving parents he was so grateful for; but he felt isolated then too. Only finding solace in books, fictions told by guardsmen, and the teasing torment of a servant.

The servant wasn’t from Calidan, discarded or sold, Paul never knew which, by the Harkonnens when Paul was just a child. The servant, at the time, was also a child. Not two years older than Paul. His name was Feyd, but Paul refused to call him by name.

Always finding him in the middle of his work. In the beginning he would stand back and away from him, spying on him from a distance. Feyd intrigued Paul from the start, he was stoic and serious and wholly different from everyone else around them. He had near black eyes, eyes that bore into your very soul. His skin a perfect alabaster that glowed in the light. He had no hair, and never grew any, but it never worked against him in his looks. Paul would find himself staring at Feyd whenever he was around, even if he didn't understand why.

The longer Feyd was there, and more evident that he wasn’t going anywhere; Paul became more brave. They were about 16 when Paul finally walked right up to Feyd.

At first nothing was said, Paul put on a mask of disinterest, as if he was simply inspecting the servant; despite the fact Feyd had been with them for years at that point.

Feyd paid no mind to the aristocratic boy before him. Though acutely aware of his presence and proximity. But Feyd also knew it was all for show. Though Paul thought he was sneaky about watching Feyd, he really wasn’t. But he also assumed Paul wouldn’t get the courage to actually face him. Despite keeping focus on his task, he was enjoying the moment nonetheless.

“Is there something you require, my young lord?” Feyd asked, formal as he was taught, but he didn’t meet Paul’s gaze; keeping his low, all the while continuing his work.

It threw Paul off, not planing for words to be exchanged, the mask began to crack. His cheeks began to flush a light pink, but he breathed through it while taking a step back. Shaking his head, “N-…” Paul began but stopped abruptly. Catching sight of the small, barely there smirk on Feyd’s lips. Quickly he caught on. Paul frowned, realizing too late his expression, Feyd eyeing him from the side; the smirk he wore got a little bigger. Paul made his face as natural as possible, doing his best to fane composure. “I’d like my horse prepped for an afternoon ride, servant.” Paul spoke smugly, trying to egg on Feyd. But something else happened instead.

Feyd stopped his work, stood straight up before Paul, towering over the Atradies some. It took Paul by surprise. What shocked him more was Feyd’s eyes meeting his own, a black well pulling him in; an endless abyss Paul wanted to fall in for an eternity. “To your desire.” Feyd bowed his head, but never braking eye contact, not until he had to leave to fulfill Paul’s request.

Paul was left speechless, standing in the garden alone, watching Feyd disappear around the house towards the stables. He knew his face was flushed, however he didn’t care, he wanted Feyd to look at him like that again. But with his life and what was expected of him, Paul found it hard to stay moments with Feyd. All of which were him ordering Feyd to do some task, at first something expected of him to request, but as it went on the tasks became small and meaningless. All Paul wanted was to be under Feyd’s gaze, to hear his voice speak only to him.

Paul’s 20th birthday was creeping closer, he had already met with several possible suters, and he dreaded the affair every time. After each forced meeting, he’d find the right moment to slip away from his entourage, off to find Feyd, wherever he may be in the moment. The first few times Paul met him simply to be near him, an unspoken arrangement, seeking odd comfort from the others' presence. It helped Paul at first, but when the meetings grew in number, he began conversing, openly, with Feyd.

One day, after a long an argous meeting with a lady from an outer world, he didn’t care to remember. Dashing away from his auntourage and his father’s top advisor. Near running through the manor, uncaring of the trouble he’d be in if caught, but luckily he was alone everywhere he went. He didn’t actually start looking for Feyd until he’d long last his breath, about falling into a corridor lined with giant windows.

The windows looked out at the flourishing garden, deep dark greens, thick trees and bushes; just beyond was the deep blue ocean, seemingly stretching out forever. Paul leaned against the thick glass, practically sliding down the cool surface. It didn’t take him long to regain his breath, his many activities and training keeping him fit. He’d gotten quite far from where the meeting parlor was, reaching the far end of the manor in a matter of minutes. When he calmed he began to look for Feyd.

First he checked the garden, mid afternoon on a stormy day, he’d usually find the alabaster man outdoors. However, with everything happening at the manor, the romers of a move, the plannings to marry off Paul; it was chaotic. So Paul moved through the garden to the back of the manor until he was in front of an old, slightly rotted wooden door that led to the under workings of the manor.

There was no real floor down there, a mix of rounded pebbles and mud. However the servants over the years had refined the area, turning the once useless access and room into a bustling underbelly. Specifically to the kitchen. There was a large hearth, it was used to bake and cook in grouse amounts. The other half of the room would become like a second kitchen. Due to the hectic goings on, he’d hoped to find Feyd there. But he only found Milla, a sweet and caring lady, who’d worked and live with his family for as long as he could remember. She was standing in front of the hearth, switching out bred pots. Her daughter, Briar, an equally sweet, and flirtatious girl, was at a large table quickly rolling and pounding dough.

“Hello Paul.” Milla called, happy as ever. Paul smiled, despite his disappointment. “What are you doing?” She asked, her voice thin and full of maternal concern.

Paul shook his head. “Nothing really. Just had to get away from everything.” It was a half truth, knowing she probably wouldn't ask further. And he was right, she nodded simply and went back to work. However Briar waved him over. Paul glanced at Milla before moving towards her daughter. Paul stood on the opposite side of the table from Briar.

In a quiet voice she spoke, “Feyd’s down at the docks. Charged with watching the guests’ ships with the night guards.” Briar explained, her whispered voice filled with a wild tone of gossip. Paul smiled, not verbally responding, but nodding his head. With that he headed to the docks, just outside their estate.

~~~

As Briar said, Feyd was stationed at a ship, large and intimidating, something that didn’t need guarding. But it gave Feyd a moment of calm and relaxation. He enjoyed days like this, cold, gloomy, and wet. The ocean was a roaring monster beyond, dark and powerful. The crashing sounds of the waves were music to his ears. He was in the midst of doing routine checks on a crate of goods when Paul found him.

At first Fayed did as he always done and paid no mind to the young Atradies as he strode up. But he did notice the disheveled look about him. His once neatly done dark curly hair now out of order, the evidence of his hands being dragged through the locks. He was wearing one of his more regal attires. An Egyptian blue coat, lined with a silver threading, embroidered with a pattern like blades laid side by side. His pants were simple and black, matching his shoes, but all of it together made him shine. In Feyd’s eyes, he was brighter than his home world's black sun.

Paul saw what Feyd was doing before he was near him, he decided to pace about a bit around Feyd. Nervous energy needing to escape. Feyd wanted to ask, but he was never the one to speak first between them. Paul finally stopped a few minutes later, finding perch on an already checked crate. He was slumped and weary.

“Are we all something to be pawned or sold off?” Paul’s voice was quiet, but full of venom. Feyd didn’t respond immediately, uncertain if Paul was wanting to talk, or be heard. When Paul didn’t go on, Feyd assumed the former.

“From my perspective? Yes. Doesn’t matter the status.” Feyd spoke grimly, but matter-of-factly. His voice was a low gravel, almost like a rasp. He didn’t look at Paul as he spoke, some part of him worried about being caught, despite nothing happening. Paul was thankful to have Feyd to talk to, to confide in.

“Will it ever change?” He asked, whatever hope he had fading fast. The whole ritual of it all slowly began to crush his spirit, knowing at some point, he won't have a choice. “I don’t want any of this. I want to stay here.” His words were crushing, and the way he spoke tore Feyd apart. The young Atradies expression was more than sad, it was heartbreaking to behold.

Feyd wasn’t sure what to say, believing he didn’t have the wisdom to comfort the young nobel. But he knew what he would have wanted to hear. “Then don’t go. Stay.” Feyd kept his voice low, trying to be soothing and comforting, it worked in some way. But it was how he look at Paul, his black eyes made darker by the looming clouds, somehow high lifting his begging expression. His brow that is usually always furrowed and pulled down, was soft and lifted. His otherworldly alabaster skin appearing as a gray color during the stormy weather. He was beautiful in every way to Paul. His pleading gaze made Paul’s heart beat strong and heavy in his chest.

It took Paul’s breath away, not expecting such a thoughtful and emotion filled response from Feyd. Believing the Harkanon was only humoring his pestering company, only hoping he’d see the young noble as a companion. “Maybe one day I can change things.” Paul spoke, with the smallest amount of hope in his voice. His eyes half lidded, almost distracted by the sight of Feyd. If not hope, then some kind of longing.

That was their first real conversation, however short, Paul smiling softly at Feyd before quickly leaving, knowing he would be expected soon. But both knew neither wanted to parted, a silent promise formed to meet again sooner than later.

~~~

The next few weeks went on like that, after each meeting with potential brides he’d rush off to find Feyd. The conversations were mostly one sided if they happened at all. Both still unsure of how to move about their budding relationship; but when they did speak it always sparked something within Paul, a deeper want for a freedom he didn’t know he lacked. Feyd would lull any worry Paul presented him, but always in few words. It was then that Paul realized more about himself and his feelings the longer and more they talked. As well, he missed the words Feyd would only say to him, unaware what they meant and why it was so important to him.

Paul held onto these thoughts and feelings awhile longer, wanting to understand them better, but also out of a fear it would push Feyd away. After some weeks had past, and the seasons coming to the end, Paul was able to find respite away from the socialites in the cold winter in the manor. Ignoring the fast approach of his 18th birthday and all the hell that will bring.

It was the first of many frozen nights that bled into day. The beach frozen and snow covered, all of the land blanketed in pearly snow. Paul spent most of the morning in his room, lounging in front of a large window, simply enjoying the days beginning. It wouldn’t be till just before noon when Paul finally left his quarters to explore the manor he’d memorized when he was still a chilled, knowing all too well that his Father would be off all day with other dignitaries and his Mother would be off with the other Bene Geserit. A group of religious zealots he’d grown to hate, especially when he discovered it was their order that plotted his future. Whenever they had a meeting in the manor, or even to cart his mother away for some unknown rite; whatever the reason for their presence, he’d find every way to not be around. Once it was a losing choice, and in the end he decided pretending to court a possible bride was better and less nerve wracking.

But he didn’t have to worry about any of that today, he was free to do what he wanted. And he knew exactly what he wanted, or more who he wanted; but finding the elusive Harkonnen was a trial in itself.

At the same time, Paul wasn’t in any rush. Winters promised short days and long nights, something most everyone hated, he found refuge in. Everyone busing themselves ignoring the change in season, Paul was able to do as he pleased around the manor and on the grounds. He was becoming lost in thought, joyously planing the days to come, when he realized he’d made it to the main hall of the manor.

It’s a grand hall, ment for grand balls and large, usually royal, meetings. It was beautiful, dark blue stone, silver accents, bronze peaking through, making everything stand out even more. The magnitude of the hall and of his home, always had him curious how the servants cleaned it all. He believed it just couldn’t be done. And in some capacity he was right, like any ordinary home, it appeared to be perfectly clean, but truly wasn’t. Paul had these thoughts and more like it as he made his way through his home, quickly coming to the main kitchen, which, unlike the rest of the house, was alive, bright and warm.

Milla and the other kitchen staff were busy at work, Paul thought it best to not interrupt them; so he sneakalie grabbed a small rag, some cuts of bread, cheese and grapes; tying all in the rag before rushing out of the kitchen.

From there Paul went to the basement kitchen, Feyd was not there either. Through the cellar-like hall, out to the back garden.

It was a bright wash of snow, so bright Paul had to wait and allow his eyes to adjust. Holding his hand over his eyes, while they were practically squeezed shut. He stopped moving, only after almost falling on his face. Stumbling some, digging his boots into the thick snow and soaking them through. He didn’t mind though, the chill that was running up his body was easily ignored when he was being blinded.

When he finally thought his eyes had adjusted, he opened them slowly, his hand still shading him from the light; and for a moment he really couldn’t see anything. The stables were some distance away, and blurred by the bright white, but the more Paul focused, the more he could make out. However he, without thought, began to move forward, not expecting someone to rapidly come into view.

Paul walked smack dab into someone. At first he didn’t see who he’d run into, still partially blinded by the brightness, nearly falling backwards in the snow. But he was grabbed before he was even close to the ground. It shocked him, a thin breathy gasp escaping him. A sound he didn’t think he could make. What was a bigger shock was who he’d run into and who caught him.

Feyd was standing above him, an arm slinged around Paul’s waist, while his other hand was holding him by the arm. It was a sweet moment, but not a pretty one. If there was an onlooker, it would be a sight of one young man half doubled over the other, like they were frozen in the middle of the fall. But for Paul, it sent a feeling through him he’d never felt before, but something he would completely expect from the Harkonnen.

“Young Lord.” Feyd greeted, a smug smirk painted on his lips. He swiftly lifted Paul back into a standing position, letting him go and stepping away, all in one smooth motion. Paul barely had a second to process everything. But when his eyes finally took in Feyd, his breath was taken away.

In the blinding light of the snow, Feyd glowed. His eyes were more striking than ever, dark pools sucking him in again. If it wasn’t for his dark clothes, simple work pants, thick shirt and coat, he would be totally hidden in this weather. However the thought had Paul picturing Feyd without clothes, another thing he wasn’t expecting to happen that day. It made a furious blush spread over his face, but he played it off as the cold making his skin red. Whether Feyd believed it or not remains to be seen. When Paul continued to not speak, Feyd furrowed his brow at him in confusion.

“Is everything alright?” Feyd asked, genuine concern, but also very confused. He’d seen Paul flustered before, half the time he being the one to cause it, but this was something new to him as well. They’d never been that close before, Feyd had never touched Paul before, never even gotten close to it. But it just happened, and had left him in his own state of shock. But Paul, for whatever reason, always seemed to ground him in some unexplainable way.

Paul shook his head. “No-“ He shook his head again, “I-I mean yes. I’m fine.” Paul stuttered out, caught up in his flurry of emotions. Paul took a steadying breath, running a shivering hand through his hair, he held out the rag that was slowly getting soaked. “I was going to have lunch….” He trailed off, unsure of what else to say or how to explain that he was looking for Feyd. Feyd cocked a brow, narrowing his eyes at Paul.

Feyd made a show of looking around, “Out here?” He questioned, knowing by now that Paul enjoyed the banter, welcomed it. “Seems…Odd.” Feyd didn’t hide his sarcasm or enjoyment of this situation.

Paul smiled softly, mostly to himself fully ignoring his blush, as well as the burn he began to feel on his skin. “Sort of.” Paul sheepishly explained. “Why are you out here?” He asked then, realizing Feyd was the only servant outside.

Feyd gestured towards the stables, “Tending to the animals. I was about to head in myself.” Feyd then gestured towards the manor, leaving an unspoken question in the cold air. Paul nodded simply.

“Mind if I join?” He then asked, his smile growing, though still somewhat flustered, his blush was fading and confidence growing. Feyd smiled softly in return, gesturing for Paul to lead, he stayed a step behind him as they made their way into the cellar.

Both were well aware of the layout of the manor, and knew their way around, easily able to weave through the long halls. Paul didn’t directly ask, but gestured for Feyd to follow him after they entered through the kitchen, having been ignored by the other staff. They were on the second floor, almost to his room when they stopped. Standing in a large hall, staring out large windows. The cold outside seemed so far from where they stood, it made Paul reach out to touch the freezing glass. He pulled his hands back quickly, hissing at the hot burn of the cold.

Feyd leaned forward some, inspecting Paul’s hand, but he was alright, yet it made Feyd worry. His expression was soft, but his eyes were hard and piercing. When Paul caught sight of Feyd’s eyes, he let out the smallest of gasps. Having to blink fast and breath slow to get his composure back. It worked but now the two had been standing there silently for so long, he began to feel self conscious about what he wanted.

Yet Feyd didn’t seem unperturbed, if anything he was content and peaceful, a stark difference from Paul’s rigid feelings and jumbled thoughts. But whatever Paul wanted ,he would have to strike soon.

Feyd turned to the young man, a very small smile on his lips. “If that is everything, I should leave.” Feyd bowed slightly before Paul, before standing straight again, and turning on his heel.

To Paul it happened all so fast, Feyd had his back to Paul and was moving to descend the stairs, but Paul stopped him suddenly. It happened in a blur, but Paul had lurched forward, near violently, throwing himself towards Feyd. With a free hand he grabbed onto Feyd’s arm, pulling him back slightly.

“Wait.” Paul was breathing deeply, his grip on Feyd’s arm waxing and waning in pressure. Feyd met the young Atradies eyes, his own expression a mix of shocked confusion. But Paul’s eyes were soft and pleading; it sent an emotional stab into Feyd. A second after their eyes met Paul dropped his hand from Feyd and all too quickly took a step back from the Harkonnen. The look Paul wore made Feyd’s chest burn; his eyes were still soft, but there were quickly becoming glassy, his brows pulled together in a worrying scowl. Paul’s lips were parted, as if he was going to speak, but the words getting caught in his throat at the last second.

Feyd knitted his brows together at the young noble. “What’s wrong?” Feyd was serious, his voice low and gravely, the tone of concerne clear for any to hear. Feyd wanted to step forward and enclose Paul in a comforting embrace, but like always he stopped himself, the only evidence of his thoughts were the slight twitch in his hands and fingers. The need too great that even the smallest movement would expel the want. But in this moment it was the hardest it had ever been.

Paul shook his head earnestly, his hands balling around the knot of the rag, nearly white knuckling the small cloth. Feyd tilted his head, still not understanding what Paul wanted. Paul screwed his eyes shut, not able to look at Feyd, the fear of rejection so strong, it was all he could do to hold onto the little confidence he’d gained. “Eat with me.” His voice was small, almost inaudible, but their closeness allowed Feyd to hear him fairly clearly. Though it wasn’t a question, it was an invitation, however poorly executed. When Feyd didn’t immediately answer, Paul added, “In my room.” Some part of him hoped the promise of privacy would entice Feyd to join.

Feyd didn’t hide his pleasant surprise, his eyes going wide and mouth slightly agape. He blinked a few times to get the information to process in his mind. His usual quick wit was silenced by this. Feyd nodded first in the affirmative, his small smile having grown wide and full of what’s normally unseen happiness. Before leaving just the smallest amount closer to Paul, his eyes trained on Paul’s own, something passionate buried in the blackness. “To your desire.”

Paul tried and failed to hide the smile those words brought to his lips, but that and the pink blush still speared across his face. Paul nodded once, gesturing with his hand for Feyd to follow again. The Harkonnen followed, but instead of being a step behind, Feyd strode right next to Paul as the two made their way to the young Atradies’ room.

In Paul’s room, he’d set up the night before, a small floor table and sitting mats in front of the fireplace. He’d set it up as part of a sort of ritual he did for the first real night of winter; but now it would seem to match his current intentions. He’d had his main windows curtains drawn, allowing the afternoon light in, setting his room in a soft white glow.

When they entered, Feyd moved towards the center of the room while Paul closed his door, making sure no one would interrupt. Paul half ushered Feyd to the fireplace; starting to set wood in the fireplace, when Feyd stopped him.

“Let me do that.” Feyd’s hand ghosted over Paul’s back, but never truly touching him; it still sent shivers down Paul’s spine.

Paul handed the lot and prod to Feyd, making sure his fingers brushed across Feyd’s hand. Nodding, showing acceptance in the assistance the Harkonnen offered.

Feyd made quick work of getting a fire going, fairly large, enough to heat Paul’s room. Paul had sat at the floor table, long discarding his boots, in place for more comfortable house shoes. Paul realized while Feyd was starting the fire, that he’d done something similar and was now barefoot. It had a melancholy feeling building in Paul. Before Feyd was done, Paul had opened the balled up rag, and speared the small assortment of food out. The small display had a smile creeping back on Feyd’s lips.

Feyd sat across from Paul, the silence between them growing and becoming more tense. Feyd wasn’t sitting facing Paul, but the fire, passively watching it crack and burn. However he was very aware of Paul.

Hating the feeling that was trying to settle between them, Paul produced a dark, decently sized bottle of mead and two glasses. Pouring Feyd and himself a glass, while also placing food in front of both of them. Feyd faced Paul at the sight that was unfolding before him.

“Where did you get that?” Feyd asked, truly stunned, never expecting something so adolescent from Paul.

Paul smiled half smugly, holding the bottle out for Feyd to take. “I swiped it from the kitchen a few weeks ago after one of the meetings with a suter. Haven’t really drank much of it though.” Paul explained, a little sheepish. Feyd smiled back, big and charming.

“Surprised you didn’t do it sooner, with how much you don’t like the betrothal thing.” Feyd admitted, letting his own negative feelings slip into his words. The situation grated on both of them; each dealing with it in their own way together. Though they had yet to actually speak about the situation and their feelings, it was a shared silent agreement in some way.

“Didn’t have the chance, really.” Paul drank some from his glass, enjoying the cool sweet taste. Feyd let out a chuckle at that. The thought of Paul sneaking around the kitchen was very amusing.

The afternoon changed to night, the two happily enjoying their time together, but the feeling, or more knowledge, that the end was coming soon. The food was long gone, and the mead was about spent, it not being a full bottle to begin with. But neither were intoxicated, if anything just a pleasant warmth engulfing them. As time passed the twos conversations had come to a pleasant close, the silence they now sit in comfortable and calming.

It grew close to dinner time, Paul knowing he’d hear the bell ring at any moment, Feyd knew too, but different. He had to make his way down to the kitchen before Paul was at the dining room.

Feyd stood then, quietly and smoothly. “I should go before the bell.” He said, a bit solem. Paul nodded once, his expression matching the feeling of disappointment. Feyd made his way to the door, stopping to grab his shoes, when Paul stopped him again.

“I want you to come back after.” If not for the fact Paul had been wanting to ask all day, he wouldn’t recognize his own voice.

Feyd was again stunned, the sweet, small smile responding before he could. He wanted to do as Paul asked, but it seemed an impossible request. He didn’t have to say anything though, Paul understood and already had a solution.

With a light grip, Paul pulled on Feyd’s arm, gesturing towards an overly large painting, the only thing that did not match the youth Atradies room. It was of a grand castle overlooking a roaring ocean, all in bright colors. Feyd was puzzled but didn’t say anything.

“Later, when everyone’s asleep, you can come in this way.” Paul explained, a hand gliding over the textured canvas while the other ran along the ornately carved frame, feeling for something unseen. When Paul found what he was feeling for, he made a small sound of success, followed by the sound of a click and thunk. With a small push the painting swung outward, leading to a dark tall passageway.

Feyd was left speechless. His eyes darting around the painting to the concealed hallway, before landing finally on Paul standing next to him.

“I’ll explain later.” Paul said simply. He stepped through the threshold, pulling out a small orb-like device that floated above them, giving them light, but very dim. “Step in, and put your shoes on.” Paul waved a hand, almost frantically gesturing for the Harkonnen to follow.

Feyd quickly stepped through, sliding his shoes on in the process. Paul didn’t wait for Feyd to be ready, pushing the door closed until he heard a deep thunk of the latch catching. Paul stepped back in front, leading Feyd through the tight dark hidden hallway.

A bit always from Paul’s room, Paul pressed a finger to his lips, silently shushing both of them. He pointed to the wall to their left and mouthed, “Parent’s room.”

Feyd’s eyes went wide again, the sheer foolishness the two were partaking in was testing his mischievous nature. His eyes scanned the wall as if he could see through it, as if he could see the Duke and his wife readying for dinner. But what the two young men could see was light that seeped through the old wood, orange and dim, the only way Paul knew they were in there and to be as quiet as possible. Feyd nodded, though unnecessary, before they continued onward.

Paul led Feyd through the winding secret passage, down two sets of thin steep stairs, until they reached the ground floor. Feyd took note of the time it took to get from Paul’s room to the ground, it was far less time then the main way; somehow the construction allowed for it. It had him curious how many and how interconnected the secret passages were. But what surprised him the most was how trusting Paul was of him. In a way he wasn’t expecting, Feyd felt honored to have Paul’s trust.

At the ground floor they were met with three doors; one that was directly in front of them, one just next to it, but it sat diagonally from everything else and was smaller than the others. The third door was to their left, the two ‘odd’ doors looked as if they hadn’t been opened in years.

Paul grabbed the orb that floated just above them, turned it off and passed it to Feyd, “You’ll need that.” His voice just above a whisper, impossible for anyone but Feyd to hear. Feyd pocketed the orb, not questioning Paul’s advice, however, Feyd had a sharp memory, and the best vision out of anyone in the estate. But Paul cared, and that was more important than his own pride in his skills.

The door that Paul had obviously been using for a long time, was seemingly not fully latched shut, for Paul was able to gently pull it open, just enough to peek out. But not seconds after Paul hastfully shut the door and latched it closed, all to Feyd’s surprise.

Paul took a large step back, almost bumping into Feyd, but he’d shadowed Paul’s movements. Feyd looked down to Paul, silently asking what was wrong.

Paul paused for a moment, as if waiting for something to happen, but when nothing did, he turned to Feyd and again whispered, “Can’t go that way.” Despite the anxiety that was cereal on Paul’s expression, even in the dark, there was humor in Paul’s voice. The ever surprising young noble moved for the diagonal door, fumbling a moment, looking for the latch in the dark. Feyd smirked to himself as he pulled the orb out again and shorn the dim light down on them again. Paul stood straight, looking to Feyd, who still wore a sly smirk, giving his own smile in return to the Harkonnen; a silent thank you.

Quickly, Paul opened the odd door, it led to a short narrow staircase into another hallway. When through the threshold, Feyd moved a bit closer to Paul and whispered,

“Where did that lead?” His gravelly voice and hushed words had the hairs on the back of Paul’s neck stand on end. The young Atradies breath quickened slightly as Feyd’s words fanned over the back of his neck.

Paul swelled thickly, “One of the linen closets. Someone was in there.” He explained, his mouth feeling dry and hands damp. “This’ll take us to the library.” Paul explained as they continued on.

It wasn’t long before they were at what was a door, but looked like a dead end. There was no lock, knob or latch; Paul had to push, hard, on the heavy door till it began to swing open. As one would picture, the door was hidden by a bookcase, large and heavy, swinging outwards. But both Paul and Feyd slowed the door to a stop before any sound could be made. Paul showed Feyd how the door closed, not able to avoid the thunk of the door sealing again. But the library was empty, thankfully.

Paul about ran to the main doors, unsure they wouldn’t open until they were ready. “Tonight, go to the third linen closet on the ground floor, at the very back the wall slides open. That’ll take you back to my room.” Paul explained, a bit rushed and still in a hushed voice. He was grabbing the non locking door handles as if his life depended on it. Feyd looked at him with compassion, but concern, causing Paul to quirk a brow.

“Are you sure about this?” Feyd asked, his voice full of concern. But his eyes held something deep and loving. Paul felt like he was both floating, and being crushed while under the Harkonnen’s gaze.

Paul’s eyes softened, his lips pulling into a smile, a look of longing clear. “Yes. Yes I am.” He said finally and firmly. Not wavering from what he’s asked. Feyd went to speak but Paul stopped him. “Come here.” Paul then said, his voice hushed, sensuality dripping from the breathy way he spoke.

Feyd cocked a brow, glancing between them, they were already standing about a foot apart. It’s when his eyes met Paul’s that he understood. Feyd took the single step closer to Paul, now nearly standing chest to chest. Feyd did nothing else, just stood close.

Paul took a calming breath, his hands falling to his sides, and for a long moment he only stared at Feyd’s chest. When he raised his gaze, a hand followed, resting on the Harkonnen’s chest. Paul stared deeply into Feyd’s eyes, getting lost in his black pools. Slowly, Paul slid his head up Feyd’s chest, stopping at the crook of his shoulder, his fingers ghosting over the back of Feyd’s neck.

Feyd met him halfway, hesitantly wrapping an arm around Paul’s waist; when Paul showed no sign of pulling away, Feyd closed the gap. His hand coming to Paul’s cheek, tilting his head slightly, to finally connect their lips in a long awaited passionate kiss.

Paul’s eyes fluttered shut the instant their lips touched, he’d snaked his arms around Feyd’s neck, standing on the balls of his feet, everything to deepen the kiss.

Feyd pulled him as close as he could, their bodies flush, his hand ran up Paul’s back until his fingers were tangled in Paul’s dark curly hair. Their lips melded together perfectly, the kiss was slow but deep, each fully feeling the other; memorizing the moment as if it were their last.

They only broke the kiss to take deep heaving breaths. They kept their faces close together, their foreheads touching. A tender moment both waited so long for, and were displeased it had to end so soon. They stayed like that a moment longer, stretching time for as long as possible. Feyd placed several kisses around Paul’s face, his lips, cheeks, forehead. Trailing light kisses along his jaw. Paul relished in it, mesmerized by the simple shows of affection.

When finally they pulled away from each other, however they were still locked in an embrace. Paul looked into Feyd’s black eyes, now certain what he sees in them is the same emotions he feels.

“You’ll come tonight?” Paul asked, somewhat sheepish, despite the passionate kiss, Paul was still unsure of Feyd’s decision.

Feyd smiled at Paul, sweet and mischievous, his eyes soft and trained on Paul. He leaned forward and whispered against Paul’s lips, “To your desire.” He spoke in a deep voice, sending more sparks though Paul before planting one final kiss to the young noble’s lips.

“The painting will be unlocked. I’ll be waiting.” Paul proclaimed just before Feyd disappeared behind the library doors. The two having agreed to leave separately, Feyd first.

Not long after, the dinner bell began to ring. Paul intentionally took his time making his way to the dinning hall, though after the fact it seemed wholly unnecessary.

Dinner went by quickly, the conversation between Paul and his parents was enjoyable, but as normal as ever. Paul was holding in an overflowing well of anxious excitement. He felt like he was on the verge of imploding at any moment. But no such moment came. He stayed composed the rest of the evening. Though he also spent a long time in the library after dinner, fanning the want to read and study; when in reality he wanted to be sure the door was closed, and no one knew he’d moved through the secret passages. To the best of Paul’s knowledge, no one had used the passages in decades; he being the only one to use them, and only at night. When it was an appropriate time too, Paul made his way to his room. He stopped to bid his parents good night, a display he put on; ensuring the rest of the night would go on without interruption.

Paul felt restless as he waited up for Feyd. The second he got into his room, he locked the door, unlocked the hidden door and sat in a reading chair he kept by a window. But that didn’t last long.

Paul frantically, however needlessly, cleaned his room, all but forgetting that Feyd had already seen it earlier. In the process of cleaning he also remade his bed. Stripping the bed of all his sheets and blankets, anything he’d already slept in, and tossed it down the laundry shute. He replaced those with, what he thought, were his nicest bedding set. Dark red silks, and a thick silken black comforter, with matching pillowcases. Happy with his work, Paul tried again to simply sit and wait, but the longer he sat, the more disheveled he felt.

Attempting to be quick, Paul stripped his clothes off and jumped into the shower. He enjoyed the hot water that soothed his muscles, but he didn’t waste any time. Paul quickly dried his hair, not carrying that it was still damp. He threw on his undergarments and a simple shirt, but nothing else.

With no ideas left to help him pass the time, Paul started another fire. This time he set up the floor mats to be next to each other and the floor table in front. Paul’d replaced the bottle of mead with a new one, and snuck in a small arrangement of fruits. Similar to before, he speared the food out and poured two glasses. By then it was starting to get late into the night.

Paul wasn’t sure when, but at some point he’d fallen asleep in front of the fire. When he awoke, the flames were still burning and lighting the room; and Paul wasn’t alone. Paul woke up in Feyd’s arms, his back pressed against Feyd’s chest, a strong arm draped over Paul’s waist.

When Paul began to stir, Feyd propped himself up on his elbow, and slid his other arm back until his hand was resting on Paul’s hip. He waited before moving again, his eyes locked on Paul’s dreamy expression.

Paul blinked a few times, forcing the sleep away. After taking in everything, he rolled over until he and Feyd were chest to chest. The Harkonnen smiling down at the Atradies.

Paul had a thousand things he wanted to say, but instead he pulled Feyd into another kiss, showing all his emotions in one action. Wrapping his arms around the toned young man, nearly causing Feyd to fall onto him. But Feyd gladly returned the kiss, engulfing Paul in his embrace.

Feyd pulled back first, smiling down at Paul. “That’s one way to wake up.” He spoke with humor, a light laugh leaving him. It didn’t take much for Paul to join in.

“I’ve been so excited to see you again.” Paul couldn’t help but comment, “It felt like an eternity.” The young noble sighed while snuggling against Feyd.

“I know. I worked to keep my mind busy.” Feyd let out a deep laugh, a thought coming to mind. “When I found you asleep, I figured you’d worked yourself into a frenzy.” Paul couldn’t fight the blush that bloomed across his cheeks. Paul opened his mouth to speak, but Feyd stopped him by planting his lips against Paul’s. Taking the opportunity to explore Paul’s mouth with his tongue.

Paul was surprised, but quickly melted into the kiss. However he did not expect a deep moan, that Feyd gladly muffled with his passionate kiss. Feyd pawed at Paul, dragging his hand up and down Paul’s side, gripping his hip and squeezing his ass. Every little touch sent a burning fire through Paul, Feyd’s ministrations had Paul letting out small moans, all of which Feyd devoured.

Paul pulled away next, practically gasping for breath. His face was flushed, lips red and swollen, his chest heaved with each breath. “Bed.” He spoke between pants, lazily gesturing towards his bed.

Feyd gave Paul that mischievous smirk, “To your desire.” Feyd’s voice dripped with subduction, he spoke low, the gravel of his voice sent a chill down Paul’s spine. Feyd wasted no time, sitting up, one knee on the other ground, in a half lunge position. In one smooth motion, Feyd stopped Paul up bridal style and began towards the bed.

Paul couldn’t help the airy laugh that left him as Feyd carried him the short distance from the fireplace to his large bed. Large enough to easily fit the two of them. Feyd gingerly laid Paul down on his still freshly made bed, openly noting the red and black satin bedding.

“Are you trying to court me, Paul Atradies?” Feyd asked teasingly. Climbing into the large bed, half beside Paul and half hovering over him. That devious smile never leaving his lips.

Paul blushed furiously, his whole body going hot in an instant. Paul tried to put on his best sultry expression, his eyes half lidded and lips pouty. “Maybe.” He said first, fluttering his lashes at the young man above him. “Maybe I want Feyd Rauthra Harkonnen to bed me.” Paul made his voice low, trying to match Feyd’s sensuality. Despite Paul’s lack of confidence, it worked and more on Feyd.

The Harkonnen nearly pounced at Paul. Climbing on top of Paul, settling between Paul’s legs. In the process, Feyd had stripped his shirt off. Paul watched in aroused awe, his eyes dragging over Feyd’s toned body, taking in and committing every detail to memory. Absentmindedly reaching out and tracing the outline of his muscles. Lingering only for a moment before gliding to a different area. Feyd did not move, allowing Paul to do as he wished with him.

When Paul’s eyes found Feyd once more, he nearly shuttered. The look Feyd was giving him was that of a caged animal. Just as Paul was gawking at Feyd, so was the Harkonnen. A hunger in his black eyes Paul never knew was possible. Feyd slowly lowered himself until their foreheads were touching.

In a low voice and affectionate tone Feyd asked, “Are you sure about this?” His eyes were ablaze with passion, his words oozed concern, and his touch hot and full of long awaited contact. Paul openly shuttered, his skin becoming decorated with goosebumps, a thin gasp escaping him in the same instant.

Paul dragged his hands up Feyd’s chest, resting at his shoulders. In a breathy voice he spoke, “Feyd, I’ve waited and I’ve wanted. Yes. Please. I want this.” With each word breathed, Paul held Feyd a little tighter, ensuring he won’t go, that Paul won't lose him.

Not another word was spoken. Feyd connected their lips again, slow and sweet. The fire within him held back, wanting to take his time and prolong the night for as long as possible. Paul did not protest. If anything he dissolved into Feyd’s touch, in a fumbled, sloppy motion, Paul stripped his own shirt off, allowing full access of his body to the Harkonnen. Feyd swiped his tongue across Paul’s lip, asking for entrance.

Paul obliged, parting his lips, using the small moment of separation to gasp for breath before Feyd plunged into Paul’s mouth again. A grone, deep, like a growl, came from Feyd then. Paul moaned in response, his body responding on its own. It was becoming difficult for the two to ignore their growing arousal.

Paul had been hard from the moment they got to the bed, now it was almost painful. Feyd was becoming farl, he slipped his tongue from Paul’s mouth to nip and bite at the young noble’s lip. Paul reacted in kind, moaning, loudly, bucking his hips up into Feyd’s. The friction had both groaning and moaning; rutting against each other.

Paul broke the kiss, squeezing at Feyd’s shoulders. “Feyd.” Paul’s voice was quiet and horse, pleading with the Harkonnen.

The sound of his name coming from Paul’s lips sent him spinning. Feyd nipped and sucked at the skin of Paul’s jaw and neck; littering his flawless skin with love marks, all different shades of purple. Paul was gripping onto Feyd like he was the only thing keeping him from floating away as Feyd began to kiss and nip down Paul’s chest; while all Paul could do was buck up into Feyd, a litany of moans coming from the young Atradies.

Feyd was enjoying every reaction he was enlisting from Paul. The sight of Paul under him, writhing under his touch, it was all so intoxicating for the Harkonnen. Paul was starting to dig his nails into Feyd’s skin, unknowingly urging Feyd on. Feyd let out a deep guttural growl, grabbing Paul’s wrist and pinning them above the young noble’s head.

“You’re going to be the end of me Paul.” Feyd spoke between heaving breaths, his words coming out like a low growl against Paul’s skin. In his wake, Feyd left a trail of small bite marks down Paul’s chest, stopping at his hips, just above his underwear. Feyd met Paul’s eyes, staring deeply into them, wordlessly asking for permission.

Paul’s lips quivered, his eyes peering back at Feyd. In a move Feyd wasn’t expecting; Paul slipped his wrists from Feyd’s grasp, hooked his hands under Feyd’s arms and in the blink of an eye the young Atradies had flipped them over. Now Paul was, more or less, straddling Feyd.

Feyd looked up at Paul in awe, his hands sliding up and down Paul’s thighs, finding their perch on Paul’s hips; holding him in place. Feyd ran his gaze over Paul’s body, following the rise and fall of his chest, seeing his muscles twitch and clench, every little reaction, Feyd saw them.

Paul sheepishly smiled down to Feyd, his eyes were still half lidded, his parted lips turned up in a coy smile. Paul leaned down and placed his lips to Feyd’s. A gentle and soft kiss, starkly different from all before. It was a declaration, a promise. Paul pulled back just enough to smile at Feyd, before he began kissing down the Harkonnen’s neck. Leaving small marks in his wake, Feyd’s neck and jaw were quickly peppered in purple love bites. When Paul found the small spot at the crook of Feyd’s neck that had the Harkonnen a growling, bucking mess. Paul couldn’t help but smile, proud of his work.

Paul sat up just enough, trying to inch his way lower, however, Feyd had a different idea. Similar to Paul, Feyd moved fast, his hands gripping Paul’s hips, Paul reacted without thought, his legs squeezing around Feyd’s hips. In a quick motion, Feyd rolled the two of them over so he was back on top. Paul loosened his hold around Feyd just enough, but never actually dropping his legs.

“Feyd.” Paul breathed his name out in a breathy gasp. He’d begun grinding his ass against Feyd, begging for any kind of release. Feyd’s grip on Paul’s hips tightened, enough that he will have bruises there for the next coming days.

Feyd met Paul’s eyes, the hunger in their gazes was all consuming. The Harkonnen nodded once, his hands slipped from Paul’s hips, down his legs, unhooking them from Feyd’s own hips. Paul pouted at the lack of contact, his expression had Feyd smirking down at him, the young Atradies turned his gaze away, a flush of embarrassment washing over him then. Feyd leaned close to Paul’s ear,

”I’ll go slow.” Feyd’s lips ghosted over Paul’s already sensitive skin. The shutter that came from Paul had their bodies pressing together; Feyd rejoiced with every reaction he was illiceting.

Paul had snaked his arms under Feyd’s, wrapping embracing Feyd. He pressed his face into the crook of Feyd’s neck, inhaling deeply. He nodded curtly, rubbing his face against Feyd.

Feyd brought his hand up to Paul’s head, combing his fingers through Paul’s curls, a gentle and affectionate gesture. Paul leaned into his touch, following the movements of Feyd’s hand. Feyd guided Paul’s head to rest against the pillows, Feyd was being as gentle as he could possibly be; treating Paul as if he was the rarest gemstone in the whole of the universe.

Feyd rose slowly, propping himself up by his knees, his feather light touch traced Paul’s hands that rested on his shoulders, also guiding them down to the bed; Paul’s hands now resting beside his head. The Atradies looked a picture of seductive radiance below Feyd.

Feyd softly slipped his hands down Paul’s chest, his skin prickling behind Feyd’s long fingers. Paul’s breath quickened the closer Feyd got to Paul’s undergarments. Feyd moved past them however, sweeping over Paul’s legs and unhooking them from his hips. He was moving torturously slow, enjoying all the time they had; however, even his own patience was starting to wane.

Paul was gripping the satin sheets below, his body aching and clenching, all but screaming out for Feyd. Who had moved on to finally stripping Paul, and himself, of their undergarments.

The shock of cool air against hot skin had both letting lose a round of grones. Feyd dipped back down, just below Paul’s sternum, giving light kisses down his stomach, again stopping at his hips. Feyd nipped at Paul’s soft skin, leaving a deep purple mark on the small area between Paul’s hip and groin. Paul was a moaning mess the whole time.

“Please Feyd.” He begged, having to hold himself back from bucking up. But it also helped that Feyd was holding Paul down by the hips.

Feyd chuckled, hearty and bright. “To your desire.” Feyd declared boldly, his eyes alight with something joyous, and ravenous.

Feyd dropped his head again, starting at Paul’s inner thigh, leaving feather light kisses and spark-filled bites, leading up to Paul’s hard, throbbing member. Paul had his gaze locked on Feyd, anticipation over taking him. Feyd gave a few tentative swipes of his tongue up Paul’s erect member. The simple action caused Paul to roar out a littny of moans; sounding almost like music, created by love and eroticism. Feyd held back a growl, the sounds urging him on. Before Paul could quiet, Feyd popped Paul’s member into his mouth.

Circling his tongue around the tip before taking Paul fully into his mouth. Feyd slowly retracted before sucking him back in. Paul could barely keep himself quiet, having to, almost painfully, clap a hand over his mouth to silent his near screams and moans.

Never before had Paul felt such pleasure, never been touched in such a way, never felt such affection. He was over the moon and beyond. But Feyd was still devious, hastfully ending his pleasuring ministrations as quickly as he began them. Paul whined out, loudly, despite his hand muffaling his uncontrolled sounds.

Feyd met Paul’s wanting gaze, propping himself back up, “Oh my Lord, how common of you.” Feyd laughed heartily, “To pout so openly.” Feyd crawled up to Paul, stopping just at his neck. Again kissing and nipping at the skin of his collarbone. He continued up until his lips were connected to Paul’s. However, when he pulled back and saw the tears that pricked at Paul’s eyes, he was instantly sent into a frenzy. ”Paul- I-“ Feyd kissed the tears away, swiping his thumbs down Paul’s reddened cheeks. “I’m sorry.” It came out a whisper, words seldom said.

Paul shook his head, though still between Feyd’s hands, his eyes were still glassy and lips swollen. “No, Feyd.-” Paul stuttered, his voice horse. He pushed up as much as he could, giving Feyd the softest kiss. “I’m okay. I am.” Paul nodded then, leaning against Feyd’s gentle touch. Paul’s eyes were full of earnest understanding, the smile he gave to Feyd one of sweet longing.

Feyd brought Paul into another kiss, this time deeper, that burning passion rising again. Feyd nodded too, “Okay.” His voice so quiet, it vanished with the light moving air.

Feyd held himself up on one hand, pausing a moment to think about how he wanted to proceed. His eyes dancing over Paul’s flush and sweat covered body. So focused on his thoughts, he didn’t notice Paul’s expression turning into one of puzzlement. However the Atradies figured out quickly what was taking up Feyd’s thoughts.

With his legs still on either side of Feyd, Paul leveraged himself up, squirming some, trying to reach for his nightstand drawer. However, it was a near fruitless effort, as he and Feyd were in the middle of his large bed. Feyd had snapped out of his thoughts the moment Paul started to move, but he was enjoying the sight of Paul half struggling. Though he easily saw what Paul was reaching for.

Feyd followed Paul’s attention, quickly leaning over to the nightstand and rooting through the small drawer. With little effort he found what Paul was trying to get. The Harkonnen’s evident success brought a new wave of embarrassment washing over Paul. Feyd didn’t have to guess what it was; a small, half full, bottle.

Paul hid his eyes, not truly able to hide any other part of himself, downcasting his gaze, all but closing them entirely. Paul made himself small under Feyd, his chest and shoulders curled in some, his legs holding on a little tighter. Doing all this, feeling all this, all while Feyd was inspecting the bottle, plotting his next set of actions; when he finally noticed Paul.

Feyd leaned down, placing a chaste kiss to Paul’s cheek, his fingers gliding down Paul’s blushed cheek. “Are you ready?” He asked in a low voice, sweet and caring. With that same hand, he tilted Paul’s head up, forcing their gazes to connect. In the young nobles eyes were a flurry of emotions; excitement, joy, worry. So many feelings happening at once, it sucked the air out of both of them. Feyd brushed his lips against Paul’s, with his eyes open and looking deeply into Paul’s. “I love you, Paul.” Feyd’s voice was so quiet, the sound of their thundering heartbeats nearly overshowded it. But Paul heard clearly.

Paul’s eyes went wide, he knew his own feelings, and knew for how long he’d been harboring them, but he never thought, only hoped, that Feyd would return them. “I love you, Feyd.” Paul spoke louder, a declaration. Wrapping his arms around Feyd’s neck and pulling him down on top of himself in an embrace. A fit of laughter following after.

They connect again in a kiss, deep and passionate, their tongues locked in an erotic dance, while their hands explore each other's bodies. Feyd snaked his hand between them, slipping it around Paul’s member and stroking him heartily. Paul fell into another round of moans, each ripping from his throat; whereas Feyd was grinding himself against Paul’s thigh. Both yearning for release.

Feyd never stopped plumbing at Paul, but also never allowing him release, moving lingered, almost tourtorsly so. With his free hand, Feyd popped the bottle and slicked up his fingers with the lubricant; slowly and carefully working his fingers inside of Paul. At this point, Paul was more than a mess, moans slipped from him like a beautiful opera; Feyd’s ministrations had him a sweaty puddle.

Little by little. Feyd slipped three fingers into Paul, pumping in and out of him while also continuously stroking his erection. Feyd intentionally starving himself of touch, enjoying the moment and sight before him. His own erection painfully throbbing.

Paul gripped onto Feyd’s strong, flexed arms, “Feyd, I- p-please.” Paul could barely form words, let alone able to convey his wants. His eyes again glassy and half open, his lips now dry and chapped, but still puffy. The young noble looked the picture of perfection to Feyd.

Feyd nodded simply, gingerly removing his fingers, earning the deepest groan from Paul thus far. Feyd brought Paul close for a kiss, the softest, most gentle he’d offered the entire night; it took Paul by surprise.

Feyd adjusted his positions, scooting just a bit back to allow for himself to better align with Paul’s entrance.

Feyd had himself propped up on one elbow, staying close to Paul, while he began to slowly press the tip of his member into Paul. Feyd was met with a shutter from Paul. The noble’s hands gripping tightly at Feyd’s shoulders, leaving deep crescent shaped indents in his pale skin. Feyd tried to stifle a growl, but every sensation had him near roaring. In his excitement, Feyd pushed a bit more of himself inside Paul.

Paul clenched, hard, around Feyd; earning another animalistic sound from the Harkonnen.

“Paul.” Feyd’s voice was strained and low, the gravel that’s ever present exacerbated. It riled Paul up in a way he would never expect. “Paul- I-” Feyd spoke in huffs, having to fight every urge to not hammer into Paul.

Paul took steadying breaths, trying to relax his body, to some degree it worked. Paul felt as if his skin was on fire, his body igniting with a passion he could only find in Feyd. Paul couldn’t really speak, his voice so strained, so he vigorously nodded his head, kissing Feyd with the same amount of vigor. Through action, Paul conveyed his wants, and Feyd obliged.

Feyd broke the kiss to lock eyes with Paul, watching, almost dutifully, as he fully sheathed himself inside Paul. The noble’s mouth fell open, and eyes rolling back, his head thrusted into the pillow; a silent moan leaving Paul’s body any way it could.

Feyd began slow, pulling out some, before, just as slowly thrusting back in. Their mouths connected without them thinking about it. Though starting slowly, soon they were moving at a bruising pace. Feyd had fast repositioned himself, up on his knees, his hands gripped at Paul’s hips. Paul had his head buried into the bed, his hands balled into painful fists in the sheets.

Paul shifted his legs to drape over Feyd’s shoulders, while his own head and shoulders buried deeper into the bed. Feyd used the new angle and leverage to pound into Paul that much harder.

Feyd’s speed picked up after that. With his teeth gritted, he began to thrust into Paul harder. The sounds of skin and muscle clapping together filled the room, Paul’s moans having gone horse and broken.

Feyd’s thrusts and rhythm were quickly becoming erratic, his grip on Paul becoming harder. “P-Paul.” Feyd croaked out, his own voice starting to go. “I’m-” Feyd tried to give warning, though needless; Paul knew, his whole body ready and wanting. Despite his own erection going without attention, he was close as well.

“Feyd- I.” Paul tried, it hurt to speak, the angle he was at doing nothing to help.

Hearing Paul’s cracked voice breath out his name was Feyd’s undoing. He dug his nails into Paul’s skin, colliding their hips together; though Feyd was on shaky knees and quickly becoming fumbled and erratic. Feyd slammed into Paul, hard, a few times, releasing into Paul.

The new sensation that ran through Paul had him, almost painfully, arching his back, pushing against Feyd; all while shooting his load onto his own stomach, a shrill moan escaping him in that same instant. It was beyond euphoric.

Everything stilled then, as if frozen in time. The two felt like they were flying, adrift in the stars. When the crash happened, it was slow. Feyd pulled out of Paul before collapsing beside him, however, their legs were still tangled together.

The moment Feyd let go of Paul, he fell to the bed limp. The two a mess of sweat, pants and tangled limbs. They lay together, a bit sticky, holding onto one another.

Paul nuzzled into Feyd, his face pressed against the other s chest. Feyd held the Atradies close.

“You okay?” Feyd asked, combing his fingers through Paul’s curls. His other hand traced patterns on Paul’s arm.

Paul nodded, his face rubbing against Feyd’s pale skin. “I’m okay. Better even.” Paul answered, meeting Feyd’s gaze. Their eyes were filled with a deep love and passion. They shared a short sweet kiss before a big yawn left Paul.

“It’s late. You should sleep.” Feyd declared, going to remove himself from the bed, but was hastfully stopped by Paul. Grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.

“Don’t leave.” It came out as begging, but Paul was begging.

Feyd smiled, a small nod given, “Okay.”

Feyd pulled the comforter over the two of them, the lights going dim as they settled in. Though it was late, they still had a long night together.

Many nights were spent like this between the two. For three years they were able to be together, their time spent was blissful. A love as grand as theirs had not been seen in the universe in a millennia. But like all great happiness and love, comes great sorrow and hatred.

Paul and Feyd were able to keep the idea of regal marriage at bay, Paul switching his efforts into ascending Dukedom through other means. The plan they’d spent months on was simple; Feyd leaves Calidan to claim his right as Baron, and the two would marry. Forever changing the course of history; but things didn’t go to plan.

During the begging of their relationship, both knew the secret of them would not last without help. Paul turned to one of his closest friends; Duncan. Duncan was the one to help them in tight spots, see to them having some privacy, all around being the support system the two needed.

Before Paul’s 23rd birthday the two decided it was time for Feyd to leave for Gedi Prime.

The night before Feyd would leave, “How will I know?” Paul asked, worried, near frantic.

Feyd brought Paul into a deep kiss, holding him close. “You’ll know. I’ll be on your doorstep.” Feyd wore a smile, but his gaze was soft, something concerning in them.

“I’ll be waiting.” Paul spoke in a hushed voice, a few tears slipping from his eyes. “I’m going to miss you.” Paul laid his head against Feyd’s chest, listening to his heart beat.

Feyd hummed, nodding in agreement. “I’m going to miss you.” Feyd whispered to Paul, kissing his cheek in the process. Paul held him tighter. Feyd brought his hand to Paul’s chin and tilted his head up to meet Feyd’s gaze. “No matter how far apart we are, we will always have the stars.”

Paul nodded, more tears falling, the two melting into each other's arms, committing everything to memory, as it would be the last they would share for a long time.

The next day, Duncan was to take him during a diplomatic mission to Kaitan. However, before they could leave for Gedi Prime, they were attacked by the Harkonnens.

When Duncan arrived back at Calidan with the news, it crushed Paul. For months he would not eat and barely slept. All alone, even then only Duncan knew and only he was able to comfort Paul, what little he could.

Three more years passed. Paul becoming a husk of himself, doing mundane things to keep his mind at ease, though most days a fruitless effort. Until one day, when his mother came storming into his room. Proudly announcing Paul’s betrothal. Something that about made him instantly cry, it took everything in him to stay composed in front of his mother.

Before he knew it, he was shipped off to Kaitan. Fast living in the Emperor’s palace, betrothed to the princess.

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