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#I feel like I should continue posting the dumb shit I do while I’m high
strings-of-barbedwire · 6 months
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One time when I got a little too high I watched the clip of MCR on Yo Gaba Gaba for like 10 minutes straight trying to figure out if it was about politics before realizing it was literally Yo Gaba Gaba💀
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anawkwardshit · 2 years
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Rest In Peace, Technoblade
Alex is dead. Technoblade is dead.
I do not want to discredit him by not calling him by his real name, as he should be remembered as a person before a character or YouTuber, but he only told us in death, and I do not want to use it willynilly like I am entitled simply because he is gone, even if he gave that information. Honestly, I do not know what he’d prefer, so Techno is what I will continue calling him from here on. It is the person he introduced himself as when he inspired us all, so it’s what I will continue to call him (until I know more). Calling him by his real name now is in remembrance, to acknowledge that he is a person before anything else.
It’s heartbreaking, and I bawled my fucking eyes out like a goddamned baby. Because even though I didn’t forget he had cancer, I did not bother to dwell on it. He acted like he was getting better, like everything would be okay, and I believed him. I’m not mad that he didn’t say anything, that he kept that to himself; he deserves that privacy, and I know he didn’t want to have us all mourning him before he was even gone, but the whole thing still hurts.
I’m so fucking mad, not at him, just at life and everything that meant he was the one who paid the price of some stupid disease that he couldn’t even avoid.
He was a person, but even still, the thought of him dying, it was unfathomable to me, still is. I was at a fair when he posted the cancer video, and I bawled then, too, but I thought it would be okay. He acted like it would be, and I held onto that; I’m not mad that he was being optimistic, I’m just mad that life was cruel enough, callous enough, to decide that he should die anyway.
This whole thing makes my head hurt. I’m still in some sort of shock. I have no words, I barely understand. I feel like everything is falling apart, and the thought of his friends, his family, going through this, too, just makes me cry even more. It’s so fucking dumb, Vidcon just happened, everyone was riding on the high from that, and now this devastating news—I feel like my world has collapsed around me, like reality is warped. Part of me hates that he was dying while everyone was so fucking happy and oblivious, me included in that.
I know he died before that video. The production of it, how long it likely took to put together, along with his father saying he died 8 hours after writing his final words, proves that he died before today—and none of us fucking knew.
That’s not his fault, not anybody’s fault, but knowing I was oblivious to it and now suffering through grief over it when I wouldn’t have been had there never been a video, makes me hurt so much. I feel selfish, and knowing that doesn’t stop the hurt either.
Part of me still kind of expects him to rise from the dead or some stupid shit, like this isn’t reality, and reality is shit, like this is some stupid ‘Angst with a happy ending’ fic. I hate that. I hate it. He’s gone, and I’m still grappling with it.
He worked so hard to create content for us, to make us laugh and entertain us, and I want that to be a reminder to people that I don’t think he’d want anyone to stop creating and being inspired by him simply because he is gone now.
After all, Technoblade never dies.
Rest In Peace, Alex, Technoblade. I promise you are missed.
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waka-chan-out · 3 years
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Okay so I heard you were looking for requests for short stuff so do you have any headcanons for getting just. Absolutely railed by Haikyuu team captains, please and thank you. (I really love your stuff and I hope you take this!)
Rough Captain Headcanons
sub captains edition here.
you heard correctly!! (though this did not end up being very short lmaoo) i am a whore for the haikyuu captains so you’ve come to the right place. and thank you so much! i’ll take any opportunity to talk about my boys.
i included literally every single captain i could think of, including the karasuno captains after daichi and our timeskip kings. have fun.
post-timeskip, obviously.
content warnings: mostly gn! reader (but occasional fem!), lots of pet names, lots of teasing and degradation, hair pulling, spanking, three (3) creampies god i hate that word, hickies, handcuffs, etc. all of these are established relationship.
so i don’t know how to describe what exactly these headcanons are? i don’t think all of the captains are the “railing” type. however, these are basically just headcanons for when they go their hardest and either accidentally or purposefully get carried away.
Sawamura Daichi
likes to cage you under him and just lose it. will loop an arm around your waist and lift you up into him, so your back arches and he can hit the perfect angle.
will. not. let you look away. grabs your chin. pulls your hair. will move you however he needs to so he can look you in the eyes while he’s pounding into you.
“Shy now, princess?” Daichi said, tipping your chin to look at him. “Don’t hide. You look so pretty like this.” A sharp breath left your lips as he pressed his hips farther forward, grinding into you and sending a shock of pleasure through your body. “That’s it, sweetheart. Taking it so well. Let me give you what you deserve.”
Ennoshita Chikara
he’s a hair puller. like he doesn’t think much about it but he really likes pulling you by your hair back against his chest so he can whisper dirty shit in your ear. sometimes he gets a little too aggressive with it, so if you’re into that kind of thing, he’s your man.
possessive as all hell. you’re going out for drinks with coworkers? he’s leaving a hickie right at the collar of your top so everyone can see that you’re taken. coming out to dinner with his old teammates? he’s going to have an arm on you all night. loves to pull you in and remind you of things you did the night before to get you flustered.
very particular about how you’re positioned. will pin your arms above your head and readjust his grip several times. pushes your legs out of the way. grabs your jaw and moves your face where he wants you. somehow he doesn’t realize how hot that is until you tell him to his face. he’s still confused about it but has learned to love that you love it.
Chikara ran a hand up your side and let it rest in your hair for a moment before tugging hard. You gasped as he pulled it back and to the side, exposing your neck so he could leave marks as he pushed deeper inside you. You let out a whimper and tried to loop an arm around his neck but he grabbed your wrist and pinned it down.
“Patience, love. I want everyone to be able to tell I fucked you senseless.”
Yamaguchi Tadashi
he tries to dirty talk, but it always turns into praise and repeating how much he loves you.
aggressive and whiny, begging for more even though he’s the one giving it to you.
prefers when you ride him, but will do anything you ask of him. loves being told what to do. thinks you directing him to go faster or slower or a little to the left is the sexiest thing on the planet. he will fuck the life out of you if you just ask nicely.
“Harder, Tadashi,” you gasped. He grunted and snapped his hips as fast and as hard as it seems his body would let him.
“God, you’re gonna make me come. How do you feel so fucking good?” You smiled at the praise and pulled him in for a kiss. His breath hissed against your face as he continued pushing into you. You wrapped your legs tight around him and he let out a whine, pressing his face against yours. “I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.”
Oikawa Tooru
he’s a biter
likes to be lazy and dirty talks while you ride him usually, but every so often he shifts and will fuck you until tears are running out of your eyes.
will lay on top of you while you’re on your stomach, an arm looped around your neck, and just fuck you into the bedsheets. he’s wrapped up in his own little world, choking on high pitched moans and gasping for breath. like i said, he’s a biter, so you end up with marks all over your neck and shoulders. he’s just a fucking baby. the sounds he makes are so whiny and breathy it sounds like he’s the one getting destroyed instead of you.
“Ngh, fuck,” Tooru gasped. His breath was hot in your ear as you panted into the mattress. “Feel so good around me. You’re just begging for my cum, aren’t you?” You wanted to laugh and tell him you weren’t the one begging, but you couldn’t. Your breath was being torn from your lungs with every thrust. Tooru sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he pounded into you harder, letting out a soft whimper against your skin. His voice raised in pitch until he was practically whining. “Hah—gonna come soon. You feel so good.” His voice trailed off as it reached a whimper and he buried his face back against your neck, body shaking in anticipation.
Kuroo Tetsuro
spanking spanking spanking
seriously, hits it from the back and is not nice about it.
kuroo likes pulling you closer by your hips or ankles, turning you over whenever he feels like it, whatever. he just likes being able to toss you around and position you so he hits you just right every time.
“What? Trying to get away? That’s not how you take it, is it?” Kuroo grabbed your hips and yanked you flush against him. You cried out and buried your face against the bed. “There we go.” He laid a slap on your ass and laughed at the small sound you let out. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not going anywhere.”
Bokuto Koutarou
he fucks himself dumb. accidentally goes so hard he’s whining and can barely hear you if you ask him to speed up or slow down.
likes missionary because he likes being as close to you as humanly possible and it gives him the best leverage to just.....lose it. gasping against your face and babbling about how good you feel. going off of that, he has a very hard time pulling out. lord have mercy. use a condom or get on a reliable birth control because as much as he tries, he’s never going to have any self-control in the moment.
he forgets just how strong he is sometimes, which results in bruises and weak limbs and occasionally trouble walking. he always apologizes profusely and offers many kisses to make up for it even after you insist that you’re fine.
“Baby, please let me come inside you. Please. Oh my god,” Koutarou whined, tightening his grip on your thigh and snapping his hips harder.
“Yes, Kou. Please.” You brought him down into a kiss. You were both panting and Koutarou was moaning, practically vibrating against you as he got closer. He began moving erratically, pounding harder into you and making you cry out.
“M’sorry. Fuck. I’m gonna come.” His chest heaved as he thrust into you hard once, twice, and let out a long groan. You could feel him twitching inside you, hands clutching your skin so hard it was almost painful. He mumbled praise and curses and nonsense against your lips, slowing his movement until he collapsed on top of you. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead and tucked his face into your neck. “Thank you. I love you. Oh my god.”
Futakuchi Kenji
likes holding your legs and moving them around to see what gets the biggest reaction from you. doesn’t care what position you’re in but loves when your legs are closed and lifted so you’re extra tight around him.
his goal is to see you as desperate as possible. he’ll do whatever it takes to get your eyes rolling back, your hands clutching at anything they can grab, mindless pleading, all of it. he just wants to watch you fall apart because of him, and i gotta say, he’s good at getting his way.
“Oh, that’s it. Look at you,” Kenji cooed. He gently wiped a tear from your face as he readjusted your legs with his other hand, holding them tightly to his chest. “Coming apart already. I’m just getting started. Are you going to be good for me?”
Daishou Suguru
finger sucking finger sucking finger sucking. loves watching you gag so he’ll shove two fingers deep into your mouth and strokes them over your tongue. he also just does it to shut you up whenever he feels like it.
likes edging and teasing a little too much. will hold off from fucking you until you’re genuinely angry at him, so wet that he can push in with no resistance. then he makes it up to you by fucking you until you’re sobbing or your eyes are rolling back in your head. you’ve never had an orgasm with him that didn’t feel like you might not live to see the end of it.
“You like that, don’t you?” Suguru said, thumbing over your bottom lip as his cock slid between your legs, not pushing in like you desperately wanted him to. “Like when I use you like this? Should I just come like this? I don’t even have to fuck you to get myself off.” You let out a pathetic noise in protest and he laughed. “Maybe another time. Today I’ll be nice and give you my cock.” He dragged between your legs again and stopped at your entrance, slowly sinking in and pulling a relieved sigh from your throat. “There we go. That’s my fuckin’ girl.” He slid two long fingers between your lips, pressing on the back of your tongue and nearly making you gag. “Now stay quiet while I use you.”
Terushima Yuuji
i.......i gotta mention the tongue piercing. i’m sorry. i know he gives the most enthusiastic, sloppiest head and FOR SURE owns a vibrating tongue ring. what a whore. i love him.
i feel like he’s messy. like he’s into spitting and really sloppy kissing and cum play and everything. will come in your mouth and tell you to hold it there while he fucks you stupid. sometimes kisses it out of your mouth. he’s a freak and i like it.
“Yuuji, fuck.” You could practically hear your body vibrating, past orgasms still lingering under your skin.
“Yeah? Tell me where you want me to come,” he said. You groaned as he abused the perfect angle inside of you and smirked down at your strained expression. “Not gonna talk to me?” You stayed silent as your head tipped back against your pillow. He chuckled and grabbed your face. “Open.” You blinked up at him and did as you were told, sticking out your tongue. He leaned forward and spat into your mouth. “I’m gonna come inside of you. Yeah? That what you want?” You nodded and swallowed, eyes pinched shut and voice frozen in your throat. He laughed and snapped his hips harder. “That’s right. Anything for you, princess.”
Ushijima Wakatoshi
so we’ve all agreed: horse cock ushijima, however, he usually uses those powers for good. very gentle, very eager to please, exactly what you’d want in a man.
he’s not a hard dom, but sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with how much he loves you that he forgets how strong he is. pounding into you with his whole heart and whispering in your ear how much he adores you between groans. very vocal. a little too rough. definitely feels very guilty when you’re sore the next day but if you kiss him and tell him you liked it....he may be willing to throw caution to the wind again sometime.
Wakatoshi didn’t speak much, but the room was far from silent. He made the prettiest sounds when he was lost in you, grunts turning to long moans, made even sweeter when they were hummed against your lips. The groan of the bed mixed with the strike of skin against skin, white noise behind your already muddled thoughts. Wakatoshi pushed your legs farther toward your chest and leaned down, laying his face right against your ear.
“You’re so beautiful.” His voice seemed to rumble through your entire body. “You’re so good to me, darling. I love you.”
Kita Shinsuke
very soft. y’all are never gonna catch me writing hard dom kita shinsuke. HOWEVER. he is so eager that sometimes it’s a little too much for either of you. like he doesn’t realize how aggressive he’s been until you’re both literally unable to catch your breath and have to just lay in silence for a while. will ask you very nicely if you’re okay and get you water and anything else you need, but he will have this little grin on his face the whole time because he’s so happy to be able to put you both in that state.
Kita’s face scrunched up into a tight wince as he came, as his hips slowing into hard, deep thrusts that made your vision go white. Your grip in his hair was so tight you were sure it hurt, but you couldn’t help it when he was scrambling your brain with every touch. He stopped moving and you realized just how hard both of you were breathing. It felt like you couldn’t fill your lungs, body so spent that it couldn’t even do what it needed to do to survive. His braced arms on either side of your head were shaking, and his eyes were still shut tight.
“Shin,” you said, as steadily as you could through your gasping breaths. He didn’t answer. “Shin, baby, you okay?”
He exhaled hard and smiled, then let himself fall on top of you.
“Perfect. I’m—you’re perfect. I love you.” You laughed and combed your fingers through his hair, then pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“I love you too.”
Meian Shūgo
what to say about this man......
i feel like my opinions about what he likes and doesn’t like are kind of hot takes, because most of the stuff i see with him is hard dom. but. i raise you: overly excited switch meian shūgo.
captain meian shūgo likes to be teased and edged within an inch of his sanity. he likes when you talk shit and order him around and he’s DEFINITELY into handcuffs. however, he always pays you back for it. even if he’s still cuffed up and a little pink in the face from embarrassment, he will absolutely use you. very loud. loves when you leave scratch marks. loves leaving hickies everywhere.
You were almost shocked by the high moan that left Shūgo’s throat as he finally sunk into you. His face screwed up in pleasure and concentration as he withdrew his hips and drove them back against you.
“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this. You tease me all that time but you can’t wait for me to fuck you like this, can you?”
“That’s some tough talk for someone whose wrists are still bound,” you said through a smile. He let out a breathy laugh and braced his hands on your stomach, still connected by leather and a short chain.
“Doesn’t keep me away from you.” He raised an eyebrow and pushed deeper inside you. “I can still use your body when I’m all tied up.”
Hirugami Fukurō
pulling a headcanon from his brother’s list and saying he likes getting his hair pulled, which means he loooooves going down on you.
will leave your legs feeling like jelly because he makes you come at least three times, and each one is hard. like, you forget where you are and can’t breathe for a few minutes afterward.
will cock warm you until you’re begging him to please, please move. proceeds to fuck you slowly, but so hard and so deep you’re feeling him between your legs the entire next day.
“Done already? That’s no fun,” Fukuro teased. You were still shaking from the last time he had pushed you over and he wasn’t helping the situation, thumb still circling your clit after already abusing it with his tongue.
“Come on. You know how to take me.” He continued easing his cock into you, dragging out all of the breath remaining in your body.
“Please,” you whispered. He smiled and leaned closer.
“Please what, love? Do you want me to stop? Use your words.”
“No.”
“Then tell me what you want.”
“Want you to—“ You gasped. “—fuck me. Please.” Fukuro grinned and positioned himself so he had more leverage over you.
“Good girl.”
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tetsurouskuro · 4 years
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Reunion
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pairing: bokuto koutarou x fem!reader
warnings: fluff, smut, slight angst, breeding kink, unprotected sex, public sex, bokuto does the kabedon
word count: 5,006
a/n: this is my submission for the Haikyuu Headquarters second NSFW server collab! this time it’s the prompt “Guess I’ll just have to cum inside you.” you can find the masterlist HERE by the amazing @vixen-scribbles who is my queen so go give her a follow! 💖
thank you @deathcab4daddy​ & @gallickingun​ for beta reading, ily guys so much (go give them a follow if you aren’t already)! 💖
now enjoy; feedback is always appreciated! <3
tag list: @miamiya (message me if you want to be included)
Synopsis: Three years has passed since you got your heart broken by your one true love Bokuto Koutarou. A high school reunion is about to take place at Fukurodani Academy. What will happen when you finally meet your ex boyfriend? 
MASTERLIST!
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
Your eyes scanned the invitation card from your high school. Reading every word that’s written. A high school reunion. The thought alone makes you think of him. Wondering how he’s doing. He may be your ex and the boy who broke your heart, but he was your first and still to this day, your only love, and you knew why he did it. He had his reasons.
He had talked you through it before you both graduated high school. He had told you that he wanted to focus on volleyball and that he was going to move away from Tokyo, and you were not the type to try and stop him. You wanted him to succeed. You also had to think about your future and what you wanted to achieve. Both of you went your separate ways, heartbroken that you could not be together anymore.
Bokuto succeeded in achieving his dream. He was playing in big arenas with huge crowds, on TV and he was a well-known volleyball player. The number 4 ace and captain from Fukurodani made it big, just like he promised you all those years ago.
You sighed and placed the card onto your fridge. There was still one week left until the reunion, and it wasn’t like Bokuto would show up. He was busy with volleyball, especially since a new season just started. 
You sigh and turn around to grab the warm coffee cup and head to your couch. Once seated you turn on Netflix and start a random show. Grabbing your phone, you go to the search bar on Facebook and search for your ex-boyfriend. Once the two of you had broken up you had unfriended him immediately. You knew it was going to be hard to get over him, so to save you from having to see his posts and face on Facebook, you removed him.
He’s the first one that pops up. You share mutual friends, so it isn’t that weird. You go to pictures and see him with all sorts of different people, smiling and laughing. Sometimes even looking, upset?
Sighing you close the application, lock your phone, and toss it next to you on the couch. Closing your eyes, you throw your head back against the headrest, hoping and praying that Bokuto doesn’t show up to the reunion.
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
Wearing a black evening gown with a front slit, thin shoulder straps, and a pair of black heels you step into the big gymnasium where the rest of all the third years are gathered. A waitress walks up to you with a tray in hand, offering you a welcome drink, probably champagne. You take a glass and nod your thanks. Taking a sip, you sigh and take in your surroundings. People are standing in groups, chatting, and laughing. You see Yamato, Konoha, Haruki, Yukie, and Kaori in the middle. Konoha looks your way and you lock eyes. He smiles widely and waves you over. The rest of the gang turns around and sees you too, all of them start to yell at you to rush over.
You smile at them and head towards the squad.
“(y/n)! you’re here!” Yukie excitedly exclaims.
“Yes. Here I am,” you laugh. “How’s everyone? Haven’t seen you all in ages.”
 You stand there talking with everyone. You chug the rest of your glass and turn around to grab another just as a round of applause is heard. You follow everyone’s gaze and see someone enter the gymnasium.
“Hey, hey, heeeeeey!” The voice echoes. A familiar voice.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You chant and shove your champagne glass to Yukie. “I need to use the loo.”
“Wait- (y/n)!” She yells after you, but you’re already headed for the door that leads you towards the nearest toilet.
Your heart is beating hard, you can feel your pulse rising. Adrenaline has kicked in and you feel nervous. You’re breathing heavily as you reach the door, turning around slightly to just peek at the man that has made you react this way.
He hasn’t spotted you yet. He’s surrounded by girls and boys, welcoming their former ace to the reunion. You stand there, the door slightly opened, your body halfway through the doorframe and take him in.
He’s wearing ripped black jeans, a matching black tee, black vans, and a light blue jean jacket. His hair is spiked the same way as usual and his golden eyes are filled with happiness. He laughs loudly and scans the room like he’s looking for someone and then his orbs land on you. The way he gazes at you makes your whole-body shiver and you feel like you can’t breathe. You stand still, watching him watch you for a second more until you turn your body back and go through the door and towards the ladies’ room.
Once inside you stand by the door, back against it, trying to control your breathing.
Okay (y/n), calm down! Act normal and don’t freak out!
After 5 minutes you turn around and push the door and walk out, walking back to the gymnasium. You pass a hallway when suddenly-
“(y/n)?”
“Jesus fucking christ!” You jump. “Don’t scare me like that.” You exclaim and turn around and are met with a pair of golden eyes.
“Ah sorry,” Bokuto speaks, his hand rubbing the back of his head. “I just wanted to see how you were feeling. You rushed out so fast.”
“I’m fine,” you sigh. “I just needed to use the toilet.”
“Oh. Okay.” There’s a long pause. Both of you are silent.
“Bokuto-kun!” A female voice yells out, interrupting the awkward silence and you turn around to see where the female is.
“I should head back. Yukie is probably waiting for me,” you lie. “It was nice seeing you Bokuto,” you smile at him and turn around to leave, but he grabs you by the forearm and pulls you towards him.
“Let’s take a walk around the school. I don’t wanna head back just yet.”
“Bokuto I-“
“Please (y/n)? I haven’t seen you in ages and I just wanna talk.”
“Fine,” you sigh.
“Great,” he smiles. “Let’s go then!” He grabbed your hand instead and intertwined his fingers with yours as he dragged you down the hallway and escaped the voice of the girl that was calling his name.
He suddenly stops outside of your old classroom and you both stand there, panting and trying to control each other’s breathing.
“Felt like a teenager doing that,” he laughs. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just need a moment.” Still panting, you stay silent, and watch his tall frame. You stand up straight and clear your throat. Bokuto turns his body sideways and looks at you.
“Do you think it’s open?”
“I don’t know, but what do you wanna talk about Bokuto?” You speak up, wanting to get away from this situation. “We broke up. We’re exes, we’re not supposed to be like this.”
The silence returns, Bokuto’s eyes never leaving yours. You watch him, still out of breath you feel an aching pain in your chest. You fist both of your hands beside your body, tears starting to form in your eyes.
“I- shit,” you curse and let out a small laugh. “I need to leave.” You’re just about to turn around when Bokuto’s right arm slams itself on the wall to your left, stopping you in your tracks. You press your back to the wall and raise your head so you can meet his gaze. His tall frame towering over you.
“Don’t,” he sighs. “Don’t leave.” You don’t listen to his plea and try to leave again but this time he slams his left arm on the wall, caging you in.
“Bokuto. Let me go!”
“No!”
“I- What?”
“I came to this reunion mainly so I could see you,” he pauses before continuing. “I made up my mind that if you came, I would try to get you back, ‘cause I still fucking love you.” His golden eyes stare right into yours. You can see the determination in them.
“The way we broke things off, I should never have ended it that way. We shouldn’t have ended it that way. If I could go back and change it, I would’ve made you come with me. I was stupid to let you go.”
“Bokuto, I-“
“And stop calling me Bokuto!” he fumes. “You never called me that while we were dating and-“
“We’re not dating now!” You respond, interrupting him.
“I know!” He slams his right fist on the wall, making you jump. You have never seen Bokuto this upset before, not even when you broke up.
“I’m sorry. Shit (y/n) I’m so sorry I don’t know what came over me. I-“
“It’s okay, Bo! It’s… fine,” you sigh out that last word. You let your head hang low, watching the ground, seeing how close his body is to you. You gulp, trying to contain your thoughts. You haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone for as long as you can remember, and seeing Bokuto now, here, this close makes you clench your thighs together. But you would not let your sexual desires over him take over. If he wanted you back, he had to tell you, and apologize.
“When I- We broke up I did it because I wanted to focus on volleyball.”
“Yeah, I know that.”
“Wait, let me finish.” You stay silent and let him continue.
“I wanted you to come with me, I wanted you with me so badly and I thought that I couldn’t let you come with me because I didn’t want you to stop chasing your dreams. Volleyball was my ambition, not yours.” He pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts and breathing before continuing. 
“But I was wrong and dumb. I didn’t ask what you wanted, I just assumed and chose for you. I should’ve talked it out with you, asked you if you wanted to come with me and I didn’t. I fucked up,” he takes a deep breath before yet again continuing talking, expressing his emotions.
“Over these past few years, I haven’t been able to let you go. You were always on my mind. You had taken over my head so bad that I started seeing things. Seeing you on the streets, in the audience while I was playing. I never stopped thinking about you. I even stalked your Facebook multiple times and-”
“You stalked my Facebook?” You look up, watching him. Your heart beating fast against your ribcage.
“Yeah, not my proudest moment but I did. I needed to see your face, needed to see what you were doing, and if you were seeing someone. If you were as miserable as I was,” he sighs, his eyes watching yours. “Please (y/n) I am desperate. I want you back. Give me a second chance. I need you back in my life. If you just give me a small chance, I will prove it to you that I will be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make.”
Bokuto sighs out loudly, like he was in pain, and places a kiss on top of your head before sinking so his eyes are in front of yours. His face just mere inches from yours.
“Just give me one chance. Just one so I can have you back. I want you (y/n). I want to be able to call you mine again. I just need one-“
You decide to instead of using words you crash your lips against his. Cutting him off mid-sentence, wrapping your arms around his neck. It only takes Bokuto a few seconds to respond by kissing you back, his body pressing itself close to yours, his forearms bracing him on the wall.  
You break off the kiss, bite your lip, and look into his golden shimmering eyes. “I never stopped loving you either.”
“Really? I expected you to have a boyfriend or fiancé by now.”
“No,” you groan. “I tried dating, but nobody compares to you.” He smiles widely at your words. Like a kid on Christmas morning.
“I’ll try to give you everything I can Bo, I’ll try-“
“Everything means nothing if I can’t have you (y/n)!” Blushing you look down, but Bokuto grabs your face in his hands and presses a kiss on your lips again. And again. You fist a handful of his shirt in your palms and press your body close to his, feeling his semi poking you and showing how much he wants you.
“You’re mine, (y/n). I love you so much,” he moans against your lips and then pushes his tongue inside of your mouth. His hands moving to grab your ass, pushing your pelvis against his. “I’m gonna prove it to you. I need you now. No time to waste.”
He pushes himself off you and turns around, trying to open your old classroom door and to his luck it does. His wide smile is back as he ushers you in.
“Wait- Bo! We can’t, not here.”
“Aww c’mon baby, it’ll be fun and besides,” he pauses, still looking at you as he undoes his belt. “I always wanted to fuck you in this classroom back in the day.”
His sentence makes you hurry inside, and you look around the now unfamiliar classroom. You hear Bokuto close and lock the door, the sound of his zipper being pulled down makes you turn around and face him. His pants are undone but still around his hips.
“Come here baby,” obeying, you take a few steps forward and stop once you’re in front of him. Both of his hands grab you by the waist and pull you forward, his lips instantly crashing to yours. His lips don’t stay on yours too long as they start to travel down the side of your neck towards your exposed collarbone. While his lips are giving your upper body some attention, his hands push your dress up, exposing your black lace thong to his fingertips.
Bokuto recognizes the material and stops his movements just so he can peek at your underwear. He grunts.
“Do you… like them?”
“I love them, baby. Jesus Christ.” Bokuto’s lips return to yours, his index and middle finger tracing the outline of your slit, making you squirm. He then removes them and ushers you to get up on one of the desks, and you do, but not before you remove your thong as sexy as you can, and throw it on the ground nearby.
“Babe, you’re gonna be the death of me!” he exclaims in a groan and hurries back to you. His body standing between your thighs. A slight breeze passes making you shudder, your nipples peek through your dress. Bokuto notices this and instantly with both of his hands, he pushes your dress down your arms and chest, making your breast spring free.
“Haven’t touched these girls in years,” he speaks while palming them both. “So beautiful.”
“Bo- I-“
“Shh love. It’s all about you now,” he removes his right hand just so he can tease your opening. Lubricating your core with your wetness before inserting a finger inside you, making you moan and throw your head back.
“Baby. Look at me,” he groans. You pull your head back and watch him. He removes his left hand and places it beside you, bracing all his weight on it while his other hand is occupied with your cunt. His finger going in and out of you, your walls clamping around him tightly. He snickers at how wet you feel around him and adds another finger, his middle and ring finger are fucking you slowly, too slow for your liking.
“Bokuto, please. I want more,” you moan.
“Easy now baby, I wanna savor this moment. Feeling your wet cunt around my fingers after such a long time,” he grunts. “God baby, you’re so wet.”
“I know, it’s all for you Bokuto.”
He licks his lips seductively and leans in closer to you, his breath hits your neck and makes your whole body shudder. His tongue comes out and licks you up from your collarbone to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe and making you let out a sigh in pleasure.
“Do you like that, hmm?” He snickers. “Do you like my fingers inside you (y/n)?”
“Y-Yes Bo, I-I love them,” you moan. He lets out a slight “fuck” as he rests his forehead on your shoulder and thrusts his digits harder inside your wet and aching core. Wanting you to cum so badly. He arches his fingers inside you, making them hit your g-spot.
“Bo, please. I’m so close,” you groan. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You keep on whining to him, the once familiar feeling returning to the pit of your stomach. The pressure in your lower abdomen is getting higher and higher. Your legs start to shake and in just a couple of seconds, you’re releasing yourself around his fingers, your right-hand wraps itself around his wrist, nails digging into his soft skin as you moan out loudly from orgasming. 
“Kou!” you scream, your walls clamping themselves around him, his fingers still going in and out of you, your legs shaking and your pelvis grinding itself on his hand. Eyes closed and mouth wide open and panting, trying to get your breathing under control.
After a minute, you open your eyes and are met by a smug smile as he removes his fingers and raises his hand to his lips, licking your juices off his fingers while still maintaining eye contact with you. 
“I missed the taste of you baby,” he groans. His long fingers going inside that beautiful mouth of his. A big smile on his lips, his excitement palpable. 
Once he has licked his fingers clean, he moves his hands to his pants and starts to pull them down his long legs along with his briefs, his cock springing free and colliding with his lower abdomen. Precum leaking from the tip. 
Your eyes are glued on his hard member. It’s as beautiful as you remember, two veins going around his shaft, the pink head craving attention. 
Your eyes never leave his crotch as his hand goes down and wraps itself around his hard cock, moving up and down slowly.
“You’re so eager, I love it baby, so sexy when you look at me like that,” his voice speaks, making you look up and meet his golden eyes. He takes a small step forward and with his hand that’s around his cock he traces your lips, mixing his precum with your wetness. 
“Wait Kou- Condom!” You moan. The fact that you managed to even utter those words surprised you, but you didn’t know who he’s been with.
“I didn’t bring one,” he answers. “Guess I’ll just have to cum inside you instead,” he groans and rams himself inside you. Your walls clenching around him tightly. Your heat making his cock twitch from excitement. 
“Fuck Kou, you- you feel amazing.”
“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. I can feel you pulsating around me.” He’s still for a moment, letting you get used to him. Had he gotten bigger since you last were with him? Or had it just been such a long time since you’ve had sex? It didn’t matter to you, you loved the feeling of him stretching your walls, making your tight cunt ache for him to move.
His hips backtrack only to force themself back to you, colliding and hitting your g-spot, making you throw your head back and grip the edge of the table hard. Your eyes are closed as you take in all the pleasure that he’s giving you. He repeats the same action, he grunts and you moan at the friction.
“Baby look at me,” he moans, his hand going to your cheek, holding it with his large palm. “I want you to look at me.”
You answer him by moaning, opening your (y/e/c) eyes looking at him, pleasure displayed on his handsome face as he starts to increase both his speed and the power of his thrusts. His hips colliding against yours with a strong force. The pleasure is displayed on your face, a lewd look as you’re loving the way he continues to ram himself inside of you.
“I’m gonna cum inside of that pretty cunt, baby. I’m gonna fill you up with my cum,” he moans loudly, not caring if anyone hears him. He loved the excitement of knowing you could get busted having sex in your old classroom but he didn’t care. He had craved you for 3 long years and he wasn’t going to let this moment pass up. 
“I want a future with you,” he continues. “I want to marry you. I want to get you pregnant.” 
This makes your cunt clench for him. Your walls clamping themselves tightly around him. Marrying him? Pregnant? 
"Oh, you'd like that baby? You want me to breed you, baby?" His thrust hits hard, his cock going deep into your core. His eyes travel down, watching his cock going and out of you. The wetness surrounding it like lube, making it easy for him to thrust in and out of you. His gaze is locked on where both of you connect, watching the way your cunt swallows him whole.
"Fuck baby. Beg for me to fill you, I know you love the feel of my cum inside you."
"Oh god Kou, please fill me with your cum. Breed me," you almost sing. Your voice is filled with all kinds of emotions, pleasure consuming you.
"You want me to breed you, baby? Fill you up with all my sperm," he moans, his hands holding your hips in place as his thrusts got deeper and deeper inside you. The tip of his cock grazing your g-spot viciously, the pressure in your abdomen getting stronger after each thrust. The thought of you swollen with his child made him even harder and closer to reaching his climax. 
"Cum for me baby, I want you to cum for me. Cum with me. I'm so close," his thrusts get sloppier and you know he is near his release. 
"Cum with me Koutarou. Let's do it together."
"Fuck (y/n)," his whole body stills as he ejaculates inside you. The warmth of his semen spurting in you, coating your walls and you follow him soon afterward. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you coat his cock with your release. 
Your body is shaking from the intense orgasm you just had, your teeth biting into your lower lip and you feel him move, his still hard cock going in and out of you. Bokuto is making sure that his cum doesn’t come out, to make sure you’re bred and hoping you get pregnant from this. 
"Mhm Kou," you moan. Your eyes glance up to his face. A big smile was plastered on his lips. 
"That was so hot baby. I want more."
"I don't think I can stand," you giggle. His eyes are watching you, the smile on your face making his heart squeeze harder and being filled with all his love for you. 
"What now?" Your tender voice asks. 
"I'm waiting."
"... On what?" 
"For you to calm down before I go for round two,” he smirks. 
“W-Wait. Hold on. Round two?”
“You didn’t think I was already finished with you, baby? I’m just getting started.” With that being said, he flips you over. The action making his cock get pulled out from your heat. 
You’re bent over and your front is pressed against the now warm desk. His hands start to caress your body, from the base of your neck to your naked ass. He gives your ass some attention before slapping each cheek, making you jump from the sudden action.
"I could just cum from the sight of you," he grunts. "I'm gonna cum inside you again, to make sure you're bred."
"Kou-tarou~," you moan as he enters you without warning, his cock rock hard and coated in both your juices and his semen. His hands holding your hips still as he thrusts deep inside you. Ramming his cock hard into your wet and tight core. His fingertips are digging hard into your flawless skin, leaving a mark but you don’t care. The only thing that’s going through your mind right now is the way his cock is pounding into your wet and swollen cunt.
"I won't stop until you're dripping with my cum, to be sure you're pregnant with my child," he almost screams. "Jesus fuck baby the way you clench around me is wonderful."
Your cunt clenches harder around his cock, the thought of being pregnant with his child makes you reach some kind of bliss that you never thought you could. The soft image pops up in your mind for a second, but it’s soon gone as one of his hands grabs your shoulder, his other following suit.
You can feel his semen leaking out as he continues to ram into you, and you know he notices it cause he lets out a snicker. 
"My cum is seeping out of your pussy, but I'll fill you up again baby. I'll fill you up again and again."
"Kou- I'm gonna cum again," you moan. Your left hand holding the edge of the desk while your right one is in front of you, trying to grab something and it does as Bokuto's right hand comes forward and intertwines with yours, clamping around it. His body pressed against yours. Feeling his breath on your neck.
"Say it, baby, say what I want to hear."
"P-Put a baby inside me Koutarou please."
"Fuck yes," he moans vocally, biting down on your neck as he fills your cunt with his cum, the feel of his cum inside you again makes you clench around him and you reach your climax. 
"Yeah, my cum makes you orgasm so fucking hard right baby?"
"Mhm," you answer, too worn out to even form your own words. 
You press the side of your face on the desk and close your eyes. You're breathing heavily, so is Bokuto. His warm breath hitting your neck, making goosebumps form on all of your body. 
"(y/n)?"
"Yeah?" 
"I'm getting soft."
"Oh my god!" You giggle. 
"Stop. You're making me fall out, stop it!" This makes you laugh out loud, this man who just minutes ago went all sex god on you is now filled with concern. 
"Are you alright though? I wasn't too hard? Or rough? Or-"
"Baby, you were perfect," you answer in a giggle, interrupting his worrying self. 
There's a comfortable silence surrounding you both, not a single word is uttered. The only sound is the sound of your breathing. 
Suddenly you feel him move and pull himself out of you. Bokuto is fast with tucking himself inside his briefs and pulling his pants up, buckling his belt too. While doing this, you feel his cum seeping out from your hole.
"Hold on I'm on it," his voice speaks and you can hear him look for something to clean you up with. "This will do."
He's back fast and with some paper towels that are not very nice to your lady parts, and he cleans you up. The feeling of the paper made you wince, both from being sensitive and roughly fucked by your ex and now boyfriend, but also from the paper not being soft enough for your liking. 
"I'm done, there," he softly speaks, his voice filled with tenderness but also worry, that it was hurting you. He wasn't. He was doing something so much more, and you loved him for that. 
Getting up and getting dressed was the part where it got uncomfortable for you, his eyes stared at you as you dressed, fixing both your gown and hair, making it not look like you’ve just been fucked. 
Your thoughts wander to what had just happened. Was this just some kind of roleplay or did he want to impregnate you? Not that it mattered for you, you couldn’t care less because you got what you had wanted for years. Him.
Once you’re done you turn around and see that Bokuto is already watching you, a big smile on his lips. 
"What?"
"Nothing. You’re just so beautiful I can stare at you all night.”
"I-" you blush. “Thank you.”
"Now,” he says as he takes a small step forward and grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. His smile still there and you can see how his eyes are glowing. 
“I love you,” he kisses you. “I love you so much (y/n). You’re the love of my life.”
"Again."
"Huh?" He turns his head to the side, not knowing what you mean. 
"Say it again. I need to hear it again." With confidence, he grabs your face in his hands and holds you in place. His eyes watching yours and with the softest smile on his lips, he says: 
"I love you.”
"I love you too." You sigh in happiness and he seals your lips with a passionate kiss. Both of you smiling through the kiss in pure bliss. 
He pulls away and grabs your hand and starts to lead you out of the classroom and in the opposite direction of the party. Confusion consumes you as you speak.
"Kou, baby. The party is that way," you giggle and point down the other side of the hall. 
"I know. We're not returning."
"We're not?" You ask in confusion.
"No."
"Why not?" He stops in his tracks and you collide with his rock hardback. He turns around, smirking.
"We have 3 years of lovemaking to do and I want you in my bed when doing that." He returns and walks you out and into the parking lot, leading to his car and a future of you and him together again. Nothing could stop you now.
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shijiujun · 3 years
Text
on the danmei twitter fight
okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.
and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations
here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.
i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.
===
🔺 what happened:
so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not. 
in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.
obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.
anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free. 
and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.
anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.
the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why
===
🔺 kind of like four camps:
(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever
*** their arguments:
danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all
danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry
yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later
(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them
*** their arguments:
some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)
if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me 
did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-
(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it
i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom
(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.
honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!
===
🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:
i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-
(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.
if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.
and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever. 
and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you. 
(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.
main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support
everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches
well guess what, no one wins in this argument. 
there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings 
altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.
it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.
if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect. 
if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”
totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:
e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school
don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)
there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.
danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding
(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)
and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:
an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal
it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively. 
and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~
(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-
firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever
yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument
“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”
hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?
honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault? 
most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally
we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”
===
🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response
they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff
they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!
one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot
===
🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:
you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?
the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.
this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece
and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly! 
hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)
===
🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:
IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.
it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.
i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.
let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.
the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”. 
AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!
at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?
================
🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴
some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it
readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine
yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh
the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?
fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for? 
it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!
the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation. 
whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone. 
be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.
edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.
thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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girls4keigo · 3 years
Text
A Bird Whisperer’s Guide to Fighting Villains and Falling in Love | Hawks x Hero!Reader
Summary: Hawks needs help to defeat an upcoming hero attack in Tokyo. What better hero to ask than the one he’s been crushing on for months
Warnings: F!Reader, Hero!Reader, Fluff, Cursing
Reader plays hard to get. Reader has a nature quirk and can control natural elements and talk to animals. Reader is a popular hero
a/n: hi! this is my first post i hope you all enjoy! :)
————
You sighed, trying to keep your composure while talking to a bunch of big name heroes. The fundraiser events that your agency made you go to were unbearable. Standing around for hours listening to the most mundane heroes try to impress you with their line of work. But hey, if it helps boost approval ratings I guess it’s not that bad.
For the past year you’ve slowly been climbing the ranks of the hero world. With a powerful quirk and unique fighting styles it was hard to go unnoticed. By now you were familiar with how the industry treated female heroes. It seemed as if the general public cared about anything but your hero duties.
It was all love, relationships, “Who are you dating?”, “What’s your skincare routine?”
You honestly didn’t expect any different but geez, it sure did piss you off. And now that you were in the top 3, you weren’t expecting any of it to die down. Might as well just get used to it.
You continued to chat when suddenly your ear twitched as you sensed a certain birdie approaching.
Oh God.
“Hey. Mind if I steal ya away for a little?” Hawks’ signature smirk appeared on his face as he approached you.
Hawks seemed to really be latching onto you for quite some time, well since the new hero rankings were announced. You were on your way to surpassing the number 2 hero and had gained a lot of notoriety in the past couple of months. 
He was clingy for sure, always play flirting, inviting you to lunch, showing up at your agency unannounced. It was obvious that he was just trying to get a reaction out of you. You’d be surprised if he admitted to actually having feelings for you. Well, not that you cared anyways. Your job was to save civilians, defeat villains, and do things that any other normal hero would. Love was simply not on your agenda.
Holding back a heavy sigh, you complied and stepped off to the side with Hawks.
He seemed delighted by your decision, using his feathers to fetch you a glass of champagne off of one of the caterer’s trays as you two walked over to the bar area.
“So your agency makes you come to these lame things too, huh?”
You didn’t answer, not very interested in the direction that the conversation was going in.
“You look nice.” He bit his lower lip, dragging his eyes vertically across your figure.
“Thank you.” You replied, taking a sip of your champagne.
After you both had made your way over to the bar he instructed his order to the bartender, asking you if you wanted anything and keeping the same dumb smirk on his face when you denied.
“Rarely ever see you in a color other than green. I mean, I guess it’s your entire thing but I really dig this red look you’ve got goin’ on” He mused, as he watched the bartender carefully make his drink.
He wasn’t lying. He’s been eyeing you since you walked in, you look good.
“What do you want, Hawks?” You asked, visibly annoyed.
“Damn.” He chuckled, “Small talk isn’t your thing, noted.”
You side-eyed him, getting impatient with his overly relaxed demeanor.
Catching the hint, he got straight to the point. “There’s some trouble going on in Tokyo.”
Now you were intrigued. You took another sip of your champagne, “Petty villain attacks like always, isn’t it?”
You turned towards him, he got a good look at your face before he answered.
Fucking pretty, he thought to himself.
“That’s what I thought at first but it’s getting harder to believe that as I do more digging.” He looks around before inching closer to you, trying to keep his volume to a minimum. “The League is planning something big next week. The ‘Rain of Terror’, they’re callin’ it. They’re trying to ease the amount of big attacks in the city to let our gaurds down. And frankly, I think it’s working.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “How do you know all of this?”
“I’ve got connections,” Was all he said, with a shrug.
Ok, whatever. You’ll confront him about that later. “And this ‘Rain of Terror…’ what does it entail?”
“Bombs.”
“Shit,” You muttered.
“Big ones. Huge ones, actually. I don’t know how the fuckers did it but they found a way to make these huge, bioengineered clouds that ‘rain’ bombs.”
You grew uneasy. Raining bombs? Over the entirety of Tokyo? The amount of destruction it would do to the earth, to civilians, made you panic. Hawks sensed your uneasiness but continued anyways, “I want us to team up. Your quirk would be useful with the entire controlling nature n’ weather thing.”
He loosened up from his serious expression, talking a bit louder and showing a teethy smile, “Plus I think we’d make a pretty good team. I’ve already got a plan so we’ll meet up at yours tomorrow.”
“As in my house? Why not anywhere else?” You questioned.
“Well,” He grabbed his drink and used his free hand to rub the back of his heck, “This isn’t really the typa thing we can talk about in public. Mass hysteria, panic, that type of thing. And my living situation is pretty…complicated right now.”
You felt a small tap on your shoulder, followed by the voice of your high school aged sidekick. You turned to the younger hero. “Uh..Y/N? It’s time to go. I gotta be back by 11.”
You sighed before turning back to Hawks.
“Kids and their curfews, right?” He commented.
“Fine. I’ll have my agency send you my address. Don’t come during the day.” That was the last thing you said before finishing your drink all in one quick sip and making your way to the exit. You could feel his eyes on your backside until you left the venue. And the singular scarlet feather rushing in front of you to open the car door for you was really the cherry on top.
You rolled your eyes.
“Woah.” Your sidekick mused, “He seems to really like you. You should give him a chance, he’s hot.”
You giggled at her comment, “He doesn’t really like me, y’know? He flirts with every female hero.”
You heard a slight tap on the window leading up to your balcony. You already sensed him flying towards you when he was about a mile away, but your bedroom? Reluctantly you walked over and opened the sliding door.
“Never heard of a front door?”
“Well that’s no fun, is it?” He said, displaying his signature smirk. You looked cute out of your hero clothes. Hair tied up and messy, and in big comfy clothes.
Adorable, he thought to himself. He walked in as if it was his own befroom, slipping off his shoes, gloves and jacket and placing them in the corner of your room.
“Make yourself comfortable I guess.” You deadpanned at him, “And we’re still going downstairs anyways.” He shrugged.
He couldn’t help but be taken aback by the layout of your room. There were plants in almost every corner, on every shelf. Vines growing on your walls, half read books strewn across your bedside table and dresser, your pet birds of all different shaped and sizes flew freely around your room, chirping every once in a while. “So you’re a bird whisperer, huh?” He said, looking around.
“I’m an animal whisperer.” You said, “That’s kind of like my entire thing.”
He let out a hearty laugh before making his way out of your room.
“Tea?” You asked, heading towards the kitchen as the winged hero made himself comfortable on your couch.
“Sure.” He picked up your remote with one his feathers, flicking through the channels.
He turned his attention to you a couple moments later as you took a seat across from him at your coffee table, setting down two mugs of green tea.
He explained his plan carefully, paying close attention to all details and pausing for any questions you might have. You had to admit, as much as an annoying asshole this guy could be, he knew what he was doing. You could tell he plans his strategies very carefully, as much as he likes to come off as lazy and laid back to the general public. He was a damn good hero. And you hated admitting it but he was right, utlizing his speed and your ability to control weather, it wouldn’t be all that hard to stop villain attacks.
Hawks also couldn’t help but admire you. You seemed attentive, always paying close attention to detail and asking a lot of questions. I mean he already knew you were good at your job, watching some of the viral videos of your fights with villains.
When the day finally came, it went as smoothly as planned, of course with a little bumps along the way. Still, the few civilians that were hurt only had minor injuries, and you and hawks made it so only a couple bombs hit the ground.
You, Hawks, and some other minor heroes who had joined mid-battle regrouped to talk about how to resolve the collateral damage.
“It’s not too much to be honest, I’ll have it all repaired by midni-“
“Wow! What an incredible display of courage from Hawks and Mother Nature, currently sitting at number 2 and number 3 of Japan’s Hero BillBoard Chart!” A loud reporter exclaimed, accompanied by a camera crew.
Of course.
You tried your best to ignore and keep talking to fellow heroes until a microphone was shoved in your face. The face of the reporter gleamed as she talked to you. “Tell me Mother Nature, how does it feel working with number 2 hero Hawks?” You winced at the question, but answered nevertheless.
“Hawks is a  diligent hero with a lot of experience under his belt despite being so young. It was great working with him.” You answered, forcing a smile on your face.
“There’s speculation that you two planned this together..is this true? How were you able to predict this attack? More importantly, are you two dating?” Those questions hit you like a truck.
“Um..no comment.” Was all you could answer with.
Nevertheless, the reporter persisted, “Well there has to be something going on. It’s just my opinion but you two seem perfect for each other.” She giggled at the camera, “Please! The public is dying to know!”
Before you could even muster up an answer to the reporter’s overwhelming question, a giant scarlet wing came between you and the reporter, blinding both her and the camera from your view.
“Hey. She said she doesn’t wanna talk about it. Let’s respect personal boundaries, yeah?” Hawks said in a nice but slightly defensive tone.
You blushed, looking up at him. As nice we he was trying to sound, he looked angry. And damn right he was. How dare they talk to you like you’re no more than just some D-list celebrity? You’re a fucking hero, who cares about dating speculation when you just saved Japan’s largest city? And how dare they ask questions about him when you were the one doing most of the work. He was enraged, and it was his natural instinct to protect the thing he cared for.
Before you knew it, he latched his arms around your waist, pushing you into his chest.
You were flustered. “What are you-“
“Let’s go.” Was all he said before flapping his wings, sending you guys soaring through the air.
You held on to him for dear life, damn was he fast.
Hawks smirked to himself, feeling your rapid heartbeat against his chest. You were trying your best to hide your blushing by burying your face in his neck, granted that probably made it worse because he could already tell by how hot your face was.
God, she’s adorable
As soon as you two landed on top of a building, you pushed him away as quickly as possible.
He chuckled, putting both of his hands up in defense, “You’re the one making this awkward y’know? Plus you owe me for saving your ass.”
You were angry. Was it because of the downright rude questions that the reporter asked you not too long ago, was it because you knew tabloids would be posting all about you and Hawks for the next couple of days, was it because you were..warming up to that damned bird?
And then you started. “Just so you know, this..us..is not a thing. It will never be a thing. I wish you’d just stop flirting with me all the damn time. Just move on to the next female hero. I actually don’t care what you do. Just leave me alone. I don’t understand why you have to be so clingy, it’s annoying.”
Hawks did nothing but smile, listening to you ramble.
“You know…I-“ He interjected, only to be interrupted by you.
“And geez, you’re so goddamn entitled. I owe you? I don’t owe you anything. I didn’t even need your help. You’re no different from any other guy, you’re fucking insuffer-“
Hawks shut you up with a gentle kiss on your lips.
Oh.
“You talk too much.” He said in a low whisper, before pulling on your chin to kiss you again. You kissed him back, resting your hands on his chest, completely indulging in the moment.
Fuck. Your knees were weak. As much as you wanted to keep going you pulled away, blushing furiously and refusing to make eye contact with him.
“Oh? So now you’re shy?” He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. He tried to catch your gaze but you just moved your head away from him each time.
“Someone might see us. This is bad,” You were able to muster out.
“You’re so fucking cute.” He said, making you blush even more. He continued, “I don’t flirt with you for no reason, y’know? Sure, sometimes it’s just to tease..but I think you’re amazing.”
You felt like you were melting in his arms. Unable to find the right words, you panicked. You were gone in seconds, manipulating the wind so it could carry you back home, the same stupid blush unable to leave your face.
“Call me!” He yelled.
That damn bird.
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biisexualemma · 3 years
Text
sister. oscar diaz
word count: 2727
warnings: very brief mention of sexual harassment but nothing explicit
requested: nope
plot: you’re trying to look out for your family
a/n: i’m working on requests i promise, please don’t think i forgot if i haven’t got around to yours yet! :(( but i wrote this sooooo long ago and never posted it but here it is. sorry i’m so slow at writing oop
masterlist
you came to pick up your sister. that was it. you didn't plan on getting mixed up in the heat of the party. you were gonna go in, grab her and get out. you were getting sick of having to pick up her drunk ass all the time, you were going to have to words when you found her. you pulled up outside the diaz house, noting all the people congregating outside. you took a deep breath, pulling the keys out the ignition and forcing yourself to go inside.
you walked passed the drunkards in the front yard, ignoring the cat calls from the santos members. you just kept your eyes forward and didn't react. once you got inside you had to force yourself through crowds of people, all, either drunk or high. you almost gagged at the smell in here. you never understood how people enjoyed these stupid parties. when you were in high school you never attended these kinds of things. you weren't unpopular, but you definitely kept to yourself despite what your friends would get up to. you were more school oriented. you were a college now, currently enjoying your summer break. that was when you weren't running around after your sister, making sure she was safe. everything was so different in freefridge to how it was when you were growing up. it wasn't as safe. plus, she'd been on and off with spooky's little brother, so you definitely had to keep a close eye on her. you knew what spooky was like. you went to school with him, he was a couple grades above you but you got the gist of him.
you huffed, reaching the back yard, you looked around still not spotting your sister or any of her dumb friends. if she got off without you again, you were going to kill her. she could be so stupid when she was drunk, which was exactly why you had to find her before someone else did.
you spotted spooky across the yard and quickly marched over to him. you stuck out from the crowd. everyone was dressed for a party. you were in wearing jeans and a tee with no makeup and your jacket wrapped around you. you didn't care. you didn't care about any of these people. you recognised some of them from around the block, some from school, but most of them were santos. right now, you just wanted to find monse.
"spooky," you caught his attention. he turned to face you, pulling out of the conversation he was in with other santos members. they eyed you up. you frowned, disgusted by their smirks. you ignored them and turned back to spooky, shaking your head. "where's your stupid lil' brother?"
"lil' spooky?" one of the santos chimed in, oscar raised an eyebrow when he was spoken over. the guy continued to talk though regardless of the way spooky was looking at him. "he already left with some fine ass hyna. come party with some real hombres, mami."
you rolled your eyes. "was i talking to you, coño?" you hated the santos. they walked around so entitled. like they owned everything and anyone. you wanted to slap some sense into this guy. you came to find your sister, not see how many guys can hit on you in one night. you turned back to spooky who was wearing a smirk, as he watched you tell his boys off.
"you wanna start somethin', puta?" he retaliated. you balled your hands into fists. you couldn't take much more from boys tonight. if cesar really had ran off with your sister again you were gonna kill them both.
before you could go off, spooky grabbed your arm and pulled you to his side. he frowned at the santos member that was causing trouble with you. "fuck off somewhere else, pendejo,” they did as he said and dispersed. you were still pissed.
"nice friends you've got there," you huffed, pulling your arm out of his grip. you'd had enough. you'd been here for ten minutes and that was long enough. now you were looking at him properly, you noticed his eyes were stinging red. he was definitely high. "and you're high, so you're not gonna be much help."
you ran your hand across your face. you were stressed. you just wanted to keep monse safe. you hated when she got herself into situations like this and rang you to get her out of them.
"damn, what's up your ass?" he joked, stifling a laugh.
"don't," you pointed a warning finger at him. "it's your brother who's off with my sister right now, god knows where. probably dragging her into some mess she doesn't need to be in," you were really going off on him. he could tell you were really just worried and everything else was just adding unnecessary stress. "you santos have a way of causing shit."
he frowned, slightly offended by your comments. "ey, mami, whatever mess your mana is in. i'm sure she can get herself out of it. don't be coming for lil' spooky—"
"he's put my sister through enough heartbreak so i'm entitled to hate him,” you crossed your arms over your chest. you didn't care in oscar was this big scary gang leader. not much scared you, never mind a guy who called himself spooky.
he continued to look down at you with a sour expression. you weren't afraid to say exactly what you were thinking, you certainly didn't hold back around him. he kinda liked it. he never thought much of you, he vaguely remembered you from school and has seen you around now and again whenever he was picking up cesar.
"she's a big girl," oscar scoffed, raising an eyebrow at you. anyone else spoke about his brother like that and he'd knock 'em out. "she doesn't need you chasin' after her."
you through your hands up in frustration. you were getting nowhere with him. "she's fifteen and she's drunk. and all i know is right now that she's off with a santos."
he didn't like the way you said santos. like it was shameful to you that your sister should be seen with a santos. he shook his head, ignoring your comment again. he wasn't gonna fight with you over this, you were too worked up and he was too high. he sighed, rolling his eyes. "if she's with cesar. she's fine."
"you don't know that," he watched you, jittering slightly the longer this conversation dragged out. you should be looking for her, not arguing with oscar. he understood how you were feeling. oscar couldn't count the amount of times he's had to chase after cesar to back him up, or pick him up. he was a pain in the ass, always getting himself into trouble. but he was a good kid. he would never get monse involved in that shit. he knew that.
"yeah i do," you met his eyes again, worry now consuming you. you ran your hand through your hair, a nervous habit you had. "cesar's a good kid. i raised him. he won't let anything happen to her," his lips pulled into a straight line as he watched you eye him up.
"if you raised him then i'm definitely worried," oscar rolled his eyes.
"what's that supposed to mean?" he scoffed. he'd had enough of you mouthing off about cesar, and the santos. you didn't know when to stop talking.
"i know you."
"nah, you don't though ."
"but i know guys like you," you frowned. "and you ain't shit. so don't tell me how to feel,” you snapped. you were breathing pretty heavy. "i gotta go find my sister,” you turned away from him, leaving the party as quick as you could. you pushed through the crowds, taking a deep breath when you finally got outside again. the cat calls continued as you walked across his front yard. you ignored them. continuing to your car that you'd parked down the street.
"ey!" you flipped around to see oscar running down the street towards you. "what the fuck you doing? you just gonna walk around till' you find 'em?"
you furrowed your brows. "it's none of your business."
"my brother. my business,” he retorted.
you rolled your eyes. "now you care? get lost, oscar. i can find her myself."
"i'm not letting you walk by yourself,” you started to walk away from him, taking a few steps backwards. you scoffed at his comment.
"not letting me?" your eyes widened. "i don't need you telling me what i can and can't do, too. alright?"
oscars expression stayed the same, furrowed brows and lips pursed. you knew how to push his buttons. you were so angry and stubborn he wanted to shake you so you'd calm down. but you could tell oscar wasn't budging on this one.
you sighed. "i have a car."
oscar eyed you for a second. you were awaiting his response but it never came. he walked passed you, nudging your shoulder as he did. "what're you doing now?" you huffed.
"coming with. which ones yours?" he looked over his shoulder, he waved his finger between the row of cars.
"i don't need you to come with me."
"i know," oscar shrugged. "still coming."
"do you really have to?" you rolled your eyes, carrying on walking again, guiding oscar to your car parked up the street. he looked your car up and down and shuddered.
"this is what you drive?" he frowned.
"it's what i can afford,” you didn't look at him, "we can't all be rich off drug money,” unlocking the doors and climbing into the drivers seat. you'd had enough of him, you didn't care if he came or went at this point. still, oscar slid into the passenger seat without a word. he looked straight ahead, his jaw tensed. you felt like you'd said something wrong. you didn't think he took anything to heart. it's not like he knew you even existed before tonight.
you both drove in silence around the block. both keeping an eye out because in reality you had no idea where you were going or what to look out for. you hated monse right now. a simple text was all it took for her to tell you she was ok.
"why you hate me so much? you don't even know me." he spoke after a long period of silence. you glanced at him out the corner of your eyes while you continued to drive slow down the street, checking your side of the street for any sight of your sister. oscar was doing the same on his side.
"i don't," you mumbled, half paying attention. you didn't want to talk to him anymore. "i hate your stupid gang."
"los santos,” you scoffed.
"you're kidding?" he didn't budge. he watched you for an answer. you sighed. "you're pigs. you're supposed to be saints? you're supposed to protect our block? all you do is scare people. you're just bullies."
he was quiet for a moment. you glanced at him again, seeing him looking right back at you. he wore a stern look on his face still. you wondered whether he ever changed his expression. he always looked angry or bored. "do i scare you?"
"no," you were quick to reply. oscars eyes never moved from you, you could feel him watching you while you drove. "but your friends are misogynistic assholes, who know how to make girls feel uncomfortable."
"why you so angry all the time, mami?" oscar fought back. he was sick of you coming at him all the time. he hadn't done anything to you that he was aware of. you were just mean. "what we ever done to you?"
"plenty," you could count the number of times santos members had rolled up, shouting at you from their cars. or how many times you'd been felt up at parties. how many times you'd been made to feel uncomfortable.
"name one," oscar challenged. you were sick of him. sick. you ignored him. you weren't about to amuse him. he didn't know half the things his precious santos got up to clearly. "you can't can you—"
"will you shut up?" you snapped. oscar was taken aback. he was joking but clearly he misread the situation. he furrowed his brows. you quickly looked over at him, disgusted. "you wouldn't get it. you're one of them. you're a stupid boy who loves to make girls feel small and insecure."
"you don't know me, ma."
"see! stop calling me shit like that!" you slammed your hands on the wheel, you couldn't take much more from him. you quickly pulled up to the curb. you took a deep breath, running your hand through your hair. oscar was regretting get in the car with you now.
"why do you hate us so much?" he asked again. you were too defensive to be telling the truth. he wanted to know why you were so against him and his gang. he couldn't work it out in his head.
you shook your head, quiet for a long time before you finally answered him. he sat patiently, not moving while he waited.
"i slept with one of your boys," you admitted. "a long time ago," you kept your eyes locked straight ahead you didn't want to see the judgement in his eyes. "i told him i didn't wanna do it again— because i wasn't ready. so he told everyone i was a massive whore. and everyone believed him. and guys never stopped coming for me. cat calling. lifting up my skirt. trying to make me do stuff behind the bleachers—" you sighed, closing your eyes tight when you thought about it. you hadn't talked about this in a long time. you'd tried not to think about it, tried to put it behind you when you finally finished high school.
"so don't act like your friends aren't shitty people. because they're the worst," you clenched the steering wheel, your knuckles turning white. you didn't want him to feel sorry for you. you didn't want to tell him any of that but he wouldn't stop pestering you for an answer.
"i didn't know,” he mumbled. you turned your head slightly, watching him now his expression had changed. you couldn't figure out what he was thinking. "sorry."
"it doesn't matter," you shook your head. you stuck the keys back in the ignition and turned them. "can you just do me one favour?"
he nodded. "ring cesar. ask him about monse,” he nodded again, pulling out his phone. he didn't think twice before finding his brothers number.
"i raised him better than that," he mumbled quietly. "if your sisters with cesar. she's good. i promise."
you nodded, somehow believing him. he pressed his phone to his ear, cesar almost immediately picking up. something about the expression on oscars face made you feel weird. he seemed to care all of a sudden. he wasn't teasing you anymore.
you listened intently as he spoke on the phone to his brother before hanging up briefly afterwards. "well?" you asked hopefully.
"they're at jamal's."
you breathed a sigh of relief. "lets go. i'm gonna kick both their asses for putting me through that."
"i'll be whooping cesar's ass, don't worry," you shot him a small smile before pulling off and driving to jamal's house. it was a long-ish drive seeing as he lived a little further away than the rest of the gang but the ride was quiet. neither of you spoke till you pulled up outside the house.
oscar unbuckled his seatbelt, about to hop out when you touched his hand. he quickly turned back to you. "what? what's up?"
"can you not tell anyone about what i told you before?" he furrowed his brows. he didn't realise that you thought he would. "i don't want monse to know about any of that shit. ok?"
he nodded. "secrets safe with me, mami — i mean—"
"no— it's alright," you shook your head when the pet name slipped out. "it's kind of nice when you say it."
his lips grew into a stupid smirk. you pushed his shoulder, laughing gently. "shut up and come on,” you couldn't help but feel a little differently towards him than you did at the start of the night.
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zannadu · 3 years
Text
Now nobody asked for this but I’m going to do it anyway.
Includes: Katsuki Bakugou, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero, and Mina Ashido
Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex, mentions of oral sex, kissing, and just dumb funny shit
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MHA as Stoners
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Katsuki Bakugou
It varies how fast he gets high, but his favorite way to smoke is with a simple joint
Okay this man will refuse to do any at first
But eventually will give in after the rest of the Bakusquad convinces him
(Though he will say “whatever I’ll do it”)
After the first smoke sesh with the squad he began to enjoy it more so he now does it more often.
If you are with him, he will either have a hard time being around her or will want to be next to you the whole time.
If you hold him he will act nonchalant but inside he will be exploding (no pun intended)
He will do his best to cuddle without making you uncomfortable.
He will get the munchies bad and insist you come with him to get more snacks every thirty minutes
He is much more open with his feelings and willing to talk more without yelling
He calms down a lot
He will show much more affection to you around people than he normally does.
Cuddling, kissing, squeezing, biting the whole PDA shabang.
He will not give two shits what everyone else thinks.
And when he finally has you alone, that’s when it gets a little hot and heavy. 👀
And he doesn’t even mean to.
Not that you’re complaining. ✌️
—————————————
Katsuki’s hands snaked their way around your waist and his face found a home in the crook of your neck.
“You know, if you want to cuddle, you could just say so,” you stated, resting your hand on his locked arms. He let out a soft groan against your skin. His breathing was slow and his eyes foggy. He squeezed you tighter and moved his hands to intertwine them with yours. His heavy eyes looked up and around the room meeting with everyone else’s eyes.
“You're touchy tonight,” Sero snickered, taking another hit off the joint that currently sat, squished in between his fingers.
Katsuki did nothing but roll his eyes and squeezed your fingers. He placed his mouth closer to your ear, his breath just tickling your ear lobe. Suddenly his teeth began to nibble on your ear, sending shivers down your arms, evident with the goosebumps now arise on your delicate skin.
“What do you say that we go to my room, I want you, ” his voice was low and husky. His fingers released from yours and fiddled the hem of your clothing and caressed your soft skin. His teeth began to but harder, causing you to gasp. He then continued to nibble slowly moving to your neck. How could you say no?
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Eijiro Kirishima
It doesn't take very much to get him high so his favorite way to smoke is with a dab pen
Now usually this baby boy is sweet and manly
But when he's been smoking he gets VERY hungry
Like he will eat the entire kitchen.
He will space out a lot but will still listen to you if you're trying to talk to him
(or he will try to)
“Wait, what did you say?”
He isn't afraid of PDA either however he will wait till he's in private with you.
(as he should, he's respectful)
You might need to help him to his room
And try not to let him hug you until you're in bed because he will NOT let go until morning.
He is very sentimental and will give the BEST advice
“Babe, will you come to get food with me please🥺?”
“Kiri, you have a whole pint of ice cream, three bags of chips, AND meat buns. You don't need anything else😂”
He would pout omg.
He would fall asleep if you play with his hair in an instant
—————————————
Kirishima laid in your lap, and you picked up each piece of his hair and gently let it fall. He had showered and decided on no gel, therefore his hair is silky soft.
“Babe, why did you let me eat so much?” he groaned looking up at you. All you could do was laugh, being high just made everything funnier. He began to pout which ceased your laughter.
“I tried to stop you, but you wouldn't listen, ” you almost began to laugh again. He groaned and held his stomach.
“Next time, don't let me eat so much, ” he squeezed his eyes so much. You continued playing with his hair and smiled at the tired boy.
His eyes began to close and he looked up at you and soon he was out cold.
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Denki Kaminari
His favorite way to smoke it with a pipe. Just makes him feel cool and the glass is trippy
Denki is usually very goofy and doesn't take things seriously, but when he's high he gets very philosophical
Like this man will talk about how space is so big and how a fish finds its way home.
Anything that will make you question your existence
He won't even realize what he's talking about until he looks at the rest of the group who is just starting wide-eyed and thinking about their whole existence on earth.
For some reason, he seems smarter than he lets people believe.
If he's with you he will be resting his head in your lap
He will have deep conversations sigh you
He will unknowingly rub small circles on your thighs while he's lost in thought💕
Continues to pick on Bakugou and how he's much different stoned
Usually wants alone time with you afterward, he feels safer when you sleep with him
He likes to be the little spoon
—————————————
Denki sat on the bed and leaned against the wall. His eyes studied the ceiling, his mouth slightly agape in a soft smile as he got even more lost in his thoughts. His eyes were almost entirely closed. The hushed murders from the other teens seemed to entirely disappear. The soft music that was also playing just took his mind further into the abyss.
“Hey do you guys think it's crazy that one muscle in your body is the reason you are alive, and if it just decides to quit one day you will just topple over and die?” Denki continued to stare up at the ceiling. The entire room went silent, the only noise was the light music.
“Dude what the fuck, ” sero looked at home from down on the floor. Denki shifted his head to look at the rest of the gang who were all just staring at him.
“What, I'm just saying, ” he shrugged his shoulders. You just looked at him and laughed. That was the most random thing to say and he probably would do it again soon.
“C’mon baby let's get you to bed, ” you grabbed his hand and went out of the room making sure to say goodnight to everyone. One thing was for sure, Denki could not WAIT to be cuddled.
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Sero Hanta
This man's the og stoner and will hit a bong over everything else.
When Sero is stoned he makes sure everyone else is having fun
He makes sure everyone is comfortable with what they are doing
If someone doesn't know how to do something, like hit a bong, he will gladly show them
He is a weed mom
The best kind of mom honestly
If someone is paranoid or worried about an adult finding out or getting in trouble, he will try his darn hardest to calm them down
Has the necessities
Carries gum, eye drops, perfume or cologne on him at all times.
Has a pipe on him always
Provides the goods 🌿
Now let me tell you, this man gets HELLA horny when he's stoned
If everyone is settled in and comfortable he will turn his attention to you.
He doesn't even hide it.
“Mi amor, you look beautiful right now”
He will make you so flustered you will have to leave the room.
—————————————
“Sero, what are you doing?” you ask as me scoots over to you across the floor. You can't help but laugh. The cheesy grin on his face was everything at the moment. It seemed like you were the only two in the room.
“Just coming over to check on you, mi amor, ”he purred as he placed his finger under your chin to make you look into his eyes. His eyelids were heavy, the red tint covered by a foggy gloss, just made him that much hotter. He blinked slowly and began to inch closer to your lips.
“Sero, ” you breathed out right before gently placed his lips on yours, moving to pull your body impossibly closer to his. His lips worked over yours as you found your rhythm. He pulled away looking up at your eyes from your lips.
He leaned forward again, this time next to your ear so no one else could hear but you.
“I can't wait till everyone leaves so I can finally find out how good you taste.”
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Mina Ashido
This girl's favorite way to smoke is a simple joint
She is great at rolling
(cuz she's good with her fingers if you know what I mean)
She is definitely in charge of the music and the vibes it puts off
But will also try and get everyone to go out and do stuff like getting food or to annoy Aizawa.
She also is the person laughing the most
She will laugh at literally anything
Kirishima making jokes about food or how hungry he is, Denki just acting dumb, or getting a rise outta Bakugou, whatever it is she will be laughing
This girl is part of the alphabet mafia and you can't change my mind🏳️‍🌈
Now she's is a cutie when it comes to relationships
She won't act inappropriately in front of everyone else out of respect for you
However, when she gets you alone that's a whole other story
—————————————
“C’mon y/n, let's go to my room. I have something to show you, ” Mina smirked at you and squeezed your hand in hers. You had no other choice to follow her as you were already headed out of Sero’s room and straight to her room. You didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to everyone.
You finally made it to her room and she closed the door behind you.
“What did you want to show me?” you asked sitting on her bed. You look around the very pink room and back to her standing in front of you. Mina looked you up and down and reached out to grab your cheeks gently with her hands. She leaned down and kissed you gently, working for her hands down to the hem of your shirt, eager to get it off. Her eyes glazed over and watched your every movement as you striped your clothes. Her fingers grazed over the sides of your arms and you went back in for a kiss. She pushed you farther back onto the bed, straddling her legs around your waist.
“This is going to be fun, ” she said breathlessly and pulled you in yet again for another lustful kiss.
Asks are open!!! This is my first official post on here, advice would be fantastic, or if you have any ideas that would be awesome! Thank you for reading😁❤️
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wienerbarnes · 3 years
Text
A Certain Romance (1/6)
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Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 2,513
Warnings: fake dating au, mention to past abusive relationship
A/N: im so EXCITED to start posting this series lmk what yall think!!!
MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST
He couldn’t quite think of a word to describe the restaurant.
The deep tones of maroon on the walls contrasting against the clean, stark-white tablecloths, tablecloths that have been so deeply washed, soaked in bleach and radiating chemical residue beneath plates of fancy and over-priced dishes for people who have too much money than they know what do with.
Ratatouille is the special for tonight, priced at $32. Side dishes extra, of course.
The overly simple decor on the walls with lighting so dim you’d think they forgot to pay the electric bill, all in the name of minimalism and an art form you just wouldn’t understand.
Bucky has news for them, though. Minimalism won’t get rid of their depression and anxiety, and a $30 plate of vegetables won’t bring you happiness.
His collar feels tight around his neck, even though the first two buttons on his shirt are undone. The longer he stands around waiting for Sam, the more ridiculous he feels. He’s sweating suddenly, and all he wants to do is leave, go back to his apartment, to Alpine, and take off this stupid monkey suit of an outfit.
Where r u?
Should be sitting pretty at a table already. Wearing a cute lil red dress. maybe blue, not sure.
“Son of a bitch,” Bucky mumbles under his breath after reading Sam’s text.
It’s Bucky’s fault at this point. Not only is this not the first time Sam has done this to him, set him up on a blind date and tell him it's him he’s meeting and not a girl, but it’s not the second either. Sam has done this three times, and this is going to be the fourth. How do you let this happen to you four times?
It’s not a surprise either when the date goes horribly all three times, either. The girls are always nice and always beautiful, but Bucky’s in such a sour mood by the time he reaches the table that it’s a failure from the start.
That’s a good word to describe the restaurant. Sour.
“Excuse me, I’m looking for a table under Sam. Or maybe Bucky.” He approaches the hostess, praying that whoever Sam has set him up with isn’t here and that they stood him up.
“Ah, yes, your date has been waiting.” She tells him, and he tries not to roll his eyes.
The walk through the restaurant to the table makes him feel more ridiculous than when he was waiting. He feels all eyes on him and it makes his skin crawl, even though when he glances around, everyone has their eyes on their own date; their date that probably wasn’t sprung up on them by a man who dresses up like a bird for a living.
Careful not to trip over his own feet in the dark room, the only lights being small bulbs on a thin string from the high ceiling, he sees a table that’s probably for him.
The only table with one person sitting alone, he spots you looking down at your phone with a slight frown on your face. Sam was right on his first guess, you’re wearing a deep red dress, thin straps over your shoulders and he can see through underneath the table that it flows down to your calf. Nude heels adorn your feet as they are crossed at the ankle, and he can’t help but feel a little bad.
Just because he thinks minimalism and expensive meals are stupid doesn’t mean that other people don’t enjoy them.
“Hi, uh, sorry I’m a little late.” He greets as he takes his seat.
You look up from your phone and give him a closed-lip smile, an unspoken way of saying it’s alright, but he’s seen that tight smile on too many girls before to know that, no, it’s not really alright.
“I’m Bucky, what’s your name?” He asks, hoping that the sooner he starts the conversation, the sooner he can get the fuck out of here. Respectfully.
As far as introductions go, this has definitely been the most awkward. Neither of you know what to say. Not that he’s about to go around giving Sam advice about setting him up with people, because he certainly wouldn’t want Sam to take that as him asking him to try again, but he couldn’t have set him up with someone worse.
It’s painfully awkward, and he feels himself sweating again, blushing from slight embarrassment at this disaster of a date.
The waiter hasn’t even brought out the bread yet.
He can’t do this.
“Listen,” He begins after a few minutes of silence and the two of them awkwardly glancing around the room, as though the avant-garde art pieces are the most interesting thing either of them have ever seen.
“I’m sorry if I don’t seem like I want to be here, it’s because I don’t. And it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s just that Sam told me I was meeting him here because he thinks he knows best when it comes to setting me up on dates even though I’ve told him countless times that -”
He stops when he realizes you’re laughing. Giggles escaping from behind your manicured hand that’s attempting to cover your mouth, he can’t believe you’re laughing at him. As if the date couldn’t get worse.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you.” You tell him, the most you’ve spoken the entire night, only really telling him your name and a few one-word answers a while ago.
“It’s just that I don’t want to be here, either. And Sam also told me I was meeting him here, not a date. And I thought that was funny.”
That bastard, Bucky thinks. But he appreciates that it’s the situation you find funny, and not him. He’s never had a date laugh at him before, and as tough as he is, he can’t lie and say it wouldn’t hurt his feelings.
He opens his mouth to say something but another man in an equally ridiculous monkey suit such as his own approaches the table, a basket of bread in hand.
He can’t help but notice how small the breads are and the fact that the butter is individually wrapped in those small tinfoils - not even The Cheesecake Factory does that, they bring butter in a tiny dish - but he doesn’t say anything.
At least now he has something to do with his hands.
The two of you both pick at the bread in your hands, and while the tension is somewhat eased at the table with the confession that neither of you want to be there, it’s still silent and awkward, as neither of you have spoken again.
Bucky doesn’t know what causes him to say it, maybe it's the obligation he feels to keep the conversation going and fill the silence, maybe his mind just insists on making the evening worse, because apparently that’s possible.
“My best friend died. Recently. And Sam’s been setting me up on these dumb dates to take my mind off it.” He says, and he sees out of the corner of his eye your hands pause around the bread and your head lifts slightly to look at him, though he doesn’t do the same.
“Sam was a little better about it at first, using distracting me as a way to distract himself while we both grieve. But he’s got the whole Captain America thing, helping his sister, working with Torres; he got over it a little quicker than I did and… expected me to get over it, too.”
He’s afraid to meet your eyes. He’s not sure why he just told you that, or why he felt like he owed you an explanation in the first place. He doesn’t even know you! What does he care if the date is awkward? He could leave now and never see you again and not feel bad about, and yet he sits here, sacrificing his own comfort in order to attempt to salvage the evening by being honest? Is honesty even what you want?
“My boyfriend beat the shit out of me. If we’re sharing tragic backstories, I mean.” You reply, looking down at your own bread now that Bucky’s head has snapped up to look at you, a humorless smile on your face.
“Had to move states, change my name, the whole nine yards. And while I wasn’t grieving a best friend, I was grieving… myself. My old life. And Sam doesn’t just distract himself by setting you up on dates, he’s been doing that with me, too. And, so, I kind of get what you mean, when you say that other people get over it and expect you to be okay, too.”
Another pause of silence, but the awkwardness is gone now.
“How many times have you heard the phrase, The grieving process is not -”
“Linear? Too many times. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that, I’d probably have enough money to afford a plate at this place.” You finish for him, a disgusted look on your face. Almost the same look he had on his face when he entered the restaurant.
He laughs, though. The first time he’s laughed tonight.
“Are you two ready to order?” The waiter interrupts again, small booklet in hand, and thick French accent in the air. Of course, the waiters here are French, how is he even surprised?
“Do you mind if we have a few more minutes with the menu?” Bucky replies, not receiving much of an answer as the waiter looks him up and down, gives him a curt nod, and leaves the table once more.
“Listen, I don’t know about you, but this place looks like… I don’t even know, but it just looks sad, and I know a pretty good pizza place a few blocks away. If you don’t mind walking. Or continuing this date as friends?” He squints as he finishes his question, hoping you won’t take it as him playing hard to get, and actually want to be friends and absolutely nothing more.
“You had me at pizza.”
With the bread from the restaurant in hand and his jacket around your shivering shoulders, the two of you make your way down the sidewalk, stomachs rumbling at the thought of cheap, greasy, slices of pizza.
Sitting among people in their pajamas and otherwise casual clothing, it’s safe to say the two of you are the best-dressed people in the joint. Bucky tells you this and you laugh again, agreeing. Slice after slice goes down easily, much easier than any plate at that stupid clownhouse of a restaurant.
The conversation is easier, too. It’s almost like it was so bad before because of the suffocating atmosphere of the restaurant, The Fork, a stupid name for a stupid place.
What was that word he said before? Oh, yeah. The restaurant was sour. The pizza place, though, run by two older, heavier men with ungroomed mustaches and dark pit stains, is much less sour.
“I surprisingly had a good time tonight. I’m really glad we both came to an understanding of not wanting to date due to our individual unresolved trauma and issues, that we should probably be in therapy for.” You tell him, after thanking him for paying the six dollars both your copious amounts of pizza slices cost.
“I did, too. I’m just glad we didn’t have to stay at that dumb restaurant, I mean what was Sam even thinking with that place?” He rubs his fingers over his eyes in lasting disbelief. He’ll never let Sam live that place down.
“Speaking of Sam,” You start, stepping out of the pizza place as Bucky holds the door open for you, “Would you mind telling him that the date went well?”
“I mean, technically it did, didn’t it?”
“It did. But if we tell him that we left with a newfound friendship rather than sore legs and sex hair, he’s just going to keep setting us up on more shitty dates. I mean he’s great, but he does a better job at being Captain America than he does at being Cupid.”
“Agreed. He’ll just keep setting us up with people until we end up dating one of his picks, regardless of friendships made along the way. He’s too competitive, he doesn’t see friendship as a success, only a boyfriend or girlfriend.” Bucky admits.
“So… if he asks, we’ll just say we’re going to go on another date? And then whenever we hang out, we’ll just -”
“Be extremely and explicitly clear about it to him.” Bucky finishes.
They smile at each other satisfied, satisfied knowing they’re finally going to outsmart the bird man, they’re finally going to be done with shitty, last-minute blind dates that they never wanted to go on in the first place.
“Do you need a ride home?”
“Oh, no, my friend’s on her way to get me now.”
“I’ll wait with you then.”
Cheesy flirting ensues as the two of you joke about fake dating, competing to see who can think of the worst pick up line. Bucky feels a bit embarrassed that he probably would’ve used a few of these a few decades ago when he was a fresh, young man, but he doesn’t dare mention that to you. No need to give you more ammunition to use against him, and especially no need to risk you mentioning it to Sam.
Your least favorite, and evidently his favorite, is If happiness starts with “H,” why does mine start with “U”?
He laughs as you dramatically gag on the sidewalk, almost not noticing the car pulling up to the two of you.
“This is me. Oh, here’s your jacket by the way.” You move to take it off from atop your shoulders but he stops you.
“Hold onto it for me. And also, mention to Sam that you’re holding onto it for me.” He winks.
“Will do. Boyfriend.”
“Drive safe. Girlfriend.” He opens the passenger door for you, greeting your friend briefly, and offering a hand out to help you sit inside, closing the door after you’ve clicked your seatbelt.
He watches the rear lights grow smaller and smaller as you disappear down the street, and he begins walking back to where you two came from. His bike is still parked at the restaurant, after all.
That was probably the best date - not a date, friend date - he’s ever been on, and by far Sam’s greatest success yet, even if it’s not the romantic relationship he probably intended.
It was nice to talk to someone without the pressures of impressing them, the intrusive thoughts questioning their deeper motives or what it is exactly they want out of a date with him. He tried engaging in the whole hookup-one-night-stand culture once, and didn’t like it at all.
Not to mention, he’ll never have to go on one of Sam’s set-up dates again! And he didn’t even need to get a girlfriend to do so!
The night couldn’t have ended better, and he can’t wait to tell Sam all about it.
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eirist · 3 years
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In the Heat of the Moment
Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.
Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
Warning: OOC possible. One shot.
Rating: T
Note: For Day 3—Nami’s Day—of the ZoNa Days event (at @zonamievents). I’m already late but still posting it. It’s unfair if it’s only Zoro who gets an entry.
In the Heat of the Moment is by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds. I still have The Umbrella playlist to thank for being such a good company.
Summary: "You're getting sappy witch. Sounds like you care about me."
The rain hadn’t let up from the moment it began to pour down.
Which should not have been a problem in the first place… the Straw Hats have their very own weather expert-slash-navigator extraordinaire after all.
If only said weather expert-slash-navigator extraordinaire didn't get distracted, arguing with a certain green-haired swordsman.
"This is your fault!" Nami complained, rubbing her arms with her hands in a poor attempt to keep the emerging chill away.
​Somehow satisfied, she folded her arms across her chest as she sulkily glared at the rain which has now completely turned into a steady downpour.
​Luckily she was able to pull the man with her towards an alcove in the town's wall before they got drenched. It was an uncomfortable fit, as they were almost pressed to each other, but it'll do.
​Zoro was snarling beside her. "This rain is MY fault?" He huffed. "Right! It's my fault coz I absolutely can make it rain on a whim!"
Nami turned sharply towards him, glaring daggers. "If you hadn't gotten lost—" 
"I DON'T GET LOST!" 
"—like the idiot that you are," she continued ignoring Zoro's outburst, deliberately raising her tone and effectively drowning his retort with her shrill voice. "Then we wouldn't be stuck in here ZORO!" Her voice jumped another octave when she said his name. "In. HERE!" She repeated the words, making sure to emphasize them and hoping to drill it straight into his thick, dumb skull. 
"Tch! Then you shouldn't have followed me!" The former bounty hunter groused.
​"Besides, aren't you supposed to be good at predicting the weather?" He commented sardonically. "Shouldn't you have known that it’s going to rain today?" 
Nami gaped at him disbelievingly. ​And heat rose to her cheeks.
​She gave his shin a good kick for that.
​​"Ite!" 
​"I know that!" Nami practically shrieked at him. "That's why I followed you here to tell you about it! Is this the thanks I get from making sure you don't get your dumb self lost in this island while a storm is brewing?!"
"Again woman, I DON'T GET LOST!" Not the one to be deterred, Zoro raised his own voice to match hers. "And damn it! Stop kicking me!"
​"Bullshit!" The ever-feisty navigator exclaimed. "That a load of crap and you know it!"
​She angrily poked his chest with her finger. "If I leave you to your own devices... We. Would. Never. Find. You!" She punctuated each word with a prod on his torso. As if that would actually make the idea sink unto him. "I don't want Luffy and Chopper whining about how you are lost and that we should find you!
​Zoro grabbed her hand to stop her from poking a hole in him. Grasping it firmly he all but shouted back at her. "I will be fine! I will find my way back to the Sunny!"
“Hah! Fat chance of that happening!” 
​They were almost nose to nose by this time; all the while scowling at each other, both waiting for the other to back down.
Now only the sound of the rain falling heavily down the soaked earth can be heard as they continued their stare off. Along with the sharp intake of breaths coming from the two of them because honestly, their shouting matches can be quite arduous.
​As the glowering continued; Zoro thought he caught a glint, a spark from behind Nami's eyes before those warm brown orbs widened.
​In what could only be a realization that their current position is leaning towards… precarious. It was also not helping that his own eye had darted all over her face, taking in the flush on her cheeks. Despite it coming from indignation, she still looks...
 ... pretty.
​He almost choked at his thoughts. When did he turn into that shit cook?
Zoro inhaled sharply and realized what a wrong move that was. He caught a whiff of Nami’s signature scent. Sweet with an undertone of zestiness that reminds him of her mikan fruits at their peak of ripeness—that certain moment that makes you want to steal one so you can taste them...
​The color on her face deepened and Zoro wasn't sure if it was because she was getting angrier and angrier by the minute.
Or... If it was because she saw that his stare lingered for more than a second or two at her lips. ​"Screw this!" He grunted, instantly averting his gaze. He felt his face heating up and to get out of their rather 'awkward' situation, he immediately resorted to his favorite defense mechanism whenever he faces off against this orange-haired devil incarnate.
Losing his temper on her. 
"You are not my keeper woman!" He snapped at her before immediately stepping out of their sanctuary and into the rain.
That made Nami snap to attention. "Hey!"
​Without another word Zoro turn around and started walking away from her despite the torrential rain.
WALKING. AWAY. FROM. HER.
While it’s raining cats and dogs. 
 "Zorooo!!!" He heard Nami screeched his name, horrified that he would actually leave her alone. There was no way he was getting back in there with her. Not when it occurred to him that he was only a second away from grabbing her...
...and kissing her.
​He walked in faster strides when she called him again. He had to get away from her. He needed to get away from her.
Far away.
​Because honestly she was driving him crazy lately with all these thoughts of wanting to kiss her surfacing every moment whenever he was with her.  
And who knows what the repercussions are? This is Nami they're talking about. She would probably sic ero-cook and even Luffy if he dared to even try. Or rat him out to either Robin or Usopp or both.
Or charge him more than what his current bounty is.
He winced at that.
​For now he needed to get away and calm himself so he can reflect...
​There was no warning as something collided at his back, almost making him stumble down the wet ground.
Did someone just attack him?
​But the presence wasn't threatening, even if its arms were wrapped around his neck in a chokehold, throttling him.
"YOU DID NOT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE THERE RORONOA ZORO!" Nami deliberately yelled at his ear, probably making his ear drum shatter and rendering him forever deaf. In a split second the Supernova realized that Nami… had jumped him.
​"Hey! Get off witch!"
"No!" "Get off!" "I said no!"
​"Get off now or I'll--"
Her hold around his neck tightened. "Or you'll what?" Nami hissed right in his ear in a tone so dangerously low that an actual chill ran down Zoro's spine. He gave her arm a light slap, a silent gesture to loosen her hold because she was cutting off his air. When she didn't relent, he effortlessly bounced her up his back.
​With a squeak of surprise, her arms slackened and he was able to finally draw in some air.
Nami’s hands grabbed at his shirt in an attempt to prevent herself from slipping from his back. Zoro tried to shake her off him. But the cat burglar swiftly clung onto him by locking her legs around his waist.
His remaining eye widened at that. 
"Nami!"  ​ "Stop trying to shake me off Zoro!" Nami protested as she held on to him tightly. Her knee knocked against his katanas and he scowled. "Then stop strangling me damn it!" "You deserve it you ass! Leaving me alone like that! Wait until the others hear about this you brute!" ​ Zoro muttered an expletive under his breath. Nami is a real witch!
He can feel her sliding down his back again. She was having a hard time clinging onto him because his shirt and her arms and legs were all wet from the rain water.
"I'm charging you for all these Zoro!" She muttered against his ear, her breath hot against his skin… a stark contrast from the cold rain water falling down on them. "The hell you are!" He managed to retort. She was speaking from his blind side and even as he tilted his head, he cannot see her face or her expression.
The next thing he knew… her fist had descended on his head.
“The hell! Why did you hit me?!”
“Because you are a moron.”
“That’s it get off me!”
“No!!”
​They continued struggling against each other, right in the middle of the rain that was soaking them to the bone.
​And Zoro realized then and there that Nami was quite nimble. She had quickly managed to change her position from his back to his side with her legs still locked around him.
He really didn't know what to do with that information, except it's going to be really handy once he gets the chance to...
​​​Fuck! ​​ She had hit him on the head with her fist ​again.​ That’s twice already.  Why are her punches hurting him so much? Was it clad in haki?? "Argh! Nami stop it!" He tilted his head towards her so he can growl and glare at her all at the same time.
She just gave him a haughty serves-you-right grin.
In retaliation he bounced her against him again. 
​Which was a wrong move. Because all it did was rubbed her breasts against him and press her closer to him.
It was a good thing the rain was drowning them.   Though it did made her yelp in surprise. He’s good with that.
​"Argh! Stay still Zoro! I swear if you drop me down I'm going to—"
“To what?” His steely eye met hers. This time it was his turn to challenge her.
Nami’s hold around his neck tightened, probably because her grip on him was slipping again because she was just as wet as he is and also because she still wants to choke the shit out of him for leaving her alone earlier.
She lifted her chin slightly so she could gaze back at him even as the rain water continued trickling down her face.
Was it just him or Nami’s quite comfortable where she is right now?
He knew she was trying to give him the evil eye. But it was hard to do that when the droplets of rain keep clinging to her lashes and she had to blink them away in a manner that affects him greatly.
And there was it… that familiar glint, that spark he saw when they were back in the alcove taking shelter from this rain.
“Look Zoro,” she finally sighed. “I just wanted to make sure you will come back to the Sunny in one piece and not get stranded in this weather."
​Zoro blinked. He was not expecting that.
​Then his face broke into a smirk. "You're getting sappy witch. Sounds like you care about me."
“Y-y-ou!” She stammered.
He grinned at her as she sputtered, her face turn absolutely and adorably red.
To think, he actually high-tailed it out of there earlier with his tail between his legs all because he can't face the realization that he wanted this woman.
But there was no denying it now. Amidst this rain it was very clear. That was all he needed.
He finally decided to take a chance instead of running away from it like a coward. ​
He tucked a strand of her wet hair behind her ear. "You can punch me or charge me later Nami," was all he said before he pressed his lips on hers.
Her body jerked in surprised. His arm instantly wrapped around her waist to secure her as one of her hands grasp at his shirt tightly.
​He swore he heard and felt her murmur 'oh fuck' against his lips before she deepened their kiss.
​They pulled apart slightly for air. Zoro hauled her up a little and Nami was about to lean down to for another kiss…
“A-choo!”
They looked at each other in surprise. Nami’s hand automatically covered her mouth as her face turned red again… this time for a very different reason.
“Ehem!”
They both turn their heads towards the sound and saw an elderly man standing a few feet away from them under an umbrella.
He was shaking his head as he looked at them.
“You youngsters should just get a room you know. You risk getting sick doing things out here in the open that should be done privately.”
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hi! i was wondering of u could do headcannons for how bokuto, kuroo, kita, tsukki and iwaizumi would react to their girlfriend who had really long hair for a while impulsively cutting it at her shoulders. I recently did just that after growing my hair out since the 5th grade and I like it but my mom says it looks terrible. thank you so much <3
<sora's memo> hello! I only chose three of them, I didn't put Iwaizumi and Tsukisima. But don't worry, I planned on making another part for middle blockers + aces, so I prolly would add them there! Anyways, I believe no matter what hair style you have, I think it suits you because who short hair makes you look more fresh and mature... well... for me hehehe. I hope you're doing great would enjoy this headcannon. Sorry for making you wait! have a great day!
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<another memo> hi everyone sorry for not posting very often, my schedule is very hectic for the past few months. but here's a headcannons of hq captains reacting to their s/o who cut their hair short impulsively. I prolly would do part 2, so if you want to see any hq charac just sent me an ask. Stay safe everyone!
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Haikyuu Captains reacting to their s/o impulsively cutting their hair short
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CHARACTERS: BOKUTO KOTARO, KUROO TETSURO AND KITA SHINSUKE
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BOKUTO KOTARO
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you haven’t cut your hair since you entered middle school ‘til your last year in high school.
and you started dating bokuto on your second year.
bokuto already loves your long hair, he loves to touch your soft hair and loves the smell of it too. 
but when he saw you enter the gym with a short hair
the big baby was shock. 
it’s  just like yesterday when he saw you with long hair but now your long hair gone short.
the whole team too are shock when they saw you with short hair.
bokuto is excited and happy to see you with your new look.
he was about to walk towards you but his teammates went to you first.
“y/n, you cut your hair...”
“short hair looks good on you”
“I never thought you will cut your hair that short” 
the boys complimented your short hair when they saw you.
“well, I did this impulsively yesterday sooo... yeah”
you said as you reach for your shoulder length hair
“wait! I heard that when a girl cut her hair short, it means she’s moving on something right?” 
konoha asked you teasingly which make the baby owl anxious 
“konohan-san” akaashi said with a warning tone because he lowkey don’t want to deal with bokuto’s emo mode.
the third year just chuckled while their captain is now lowkey in panic because of what he heard. 
“Y/N!!!!”
“IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME??”
“PLEASE DON’T” 
bokuto continues to say something about you breaking up with him, while konoha chuckled and akaashi is shaking his head
“i will do-”
“bou, I am not breaking up with you”
“wait, really?”
“yes, please don’t believe on what konoha had just said”
when you said that, bokuto sigh in relief then gave you a squeeze hug
“I got scared there a little”
“yeah, a little”
you mocked him which makes him break the hug and looks at you with a pout.
“HEY!!” 
you chuckled which make bokuto’s heart pounded.
in his eyes you look even more pretty with your shoulder length hair. 
actually for him, he doesn’t care if your hair is long or short
for him you’re pretty no matter what style of your hair. 
“anyways! why didn’t you bring me with you when you decided to cut your hair!”
he pouted then crosses his arm which caught you off guard 
“uhm because you should rest” 
“awwww you love me so much, y/n”
“your hair looks good on you baby”
and the boy started to shower you compliments about your hair and you as a person. 
KUROO TETSURO
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we all know this dude prefers long hair
anw, I think when he saw your short hair this man will be shocked 
he will be like: /insert shock pikachu/
“WHY?”
that’s only thing he will say, why did you cut your hair. 
you have your hair long since you are in high school 
also you and kuroo are actually schoolmates during your high school days
you know him because he play volleyball but for him, he didn’t know you until the two of you became classmate in college.
anw, the two of started dating in college because the two of you are blockmates. 
you’re now in the last year of college and you know shit became so stressful 
out of stress, you decided to cut your hair short
even though you know kuroo loves your long hair, you still did because you’re an impulsive girl
so, the day after you cut your short, you’re in the living room of your apartment with your laptop, finishing some of your requirements
then kuroo entered your apartment and called your name, to know if you’re in there.
“y/n, are you there??” 
“I’m at the living room, baby” 
kuroo went straight to the living room and he suddenly let out a loud gasp when he saw your hair. 
Kuroo: /GAAAASP/ 
dude was really shocked while you, you looked confuse because you literally forgot that just cut your hair short. 
“did you just cut your hair?!” 
“oh, yeah I did”
“WHY?!?!?!” 
he asked you hysterically while you just shrugged. 
“because I am too stress and also impulsive af” you answered him, unbothered with your boyfriend slowly having a mental breakdown. 
“but-”
“shush you pretty mouth of yours, I know you love my long hair but I am really feeling this kind of look” 
you cut him off, while your boyfriend let out a defeated sigh and took a sit beside. 
He rested his arms on the back of the couch while you instinctively lean on him. 
he just looks at you and observes your new look and he can’t help but agree that you’re looking fine af with your new look. 
‘maybe short hair is not that bad’ he thought to himself. 
KITA SHINSUKE
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Kita will actually like notice it immediately. 
he will be the one to pin point it, that you cut your hair. 
though he will not show that much of reaction to you.
but when his other teammates notice he it and showers you compliment about your new look.
boy, this dude will lowkey warns his members because he is actually jealous that you’re getting a lot of attention. 
you kept hair long since your middle school but one time, in your 3rd year high school, you thought of cutting your hair which you actually did. 
so when you go to the school with your short hair, everyone was shocked, like your classmate.
your classmate told you that you look great with your short hair, something like that. 
during your lunch time, when Kita first saw your hair, he immediately pointed it out. 
“you cut your hair short” 
“yes, I did” 
you answered, waiting for your boyfriend to say something more. highkey waiting for him to compliment you
“you look great” 
“uh- thanks” 
‘is that it? is that all he gonna say to you?! I just look great? not beautiful?’ 
you sighed deeply trying to calm yourself from smacking your boyfriend’s head because you demand more compliments.
kita looks at you and asked if you’re okay and you just answered him that you’re tired. 
later that day you went to the gym because you want to watch your boyfriend’s team and of course him as they practice. 
when you entered the gym, everyone are still chilling and haven’t start their practice yet. it seems like they are waiting for their coach come. 
the boys greeted you, like it’s normal for them to see you watch because duh you’re the girlfriend of their captain. 
as they greeted you, one of the twins noticed your new hair style. 
“Oh! you cut your hair short!”
Osamu pointed out excitedly which catches everyone’s attention. 
the team gathered around you and showers you compliment.
“wow, short hair really suits you!” 
“you look cute with your hair short” 
your fellow third years complimented you while you smiled at them and gave a little thanks. 
“I think like I might have a crush on short haired y/n-san” 
Tsumu said out loud which catches everyone attentions, especially your grey haired boyfriend. 
“As much as I hated to agree with this dumb dude, I can’t help but to agree with him”
suna commented which made you blush and feel flattered. 
Atleast these boys gives you compliments unlike the other grey headed boy⏤ I AM JOKING PLS DON’T HATE ME
you gave them a small thanks as they continued to shower you compliments about your hair. 
Meanwhile, Kita, who’s watching you silently, can’t help but feel a little bit jealous because he noticed how you suddenly felt flustered when Suna gave you a compliment. 
And as he continue listening to his teammates giving you compliments, he gets even more jealous. 
so to catch his teammates attention, he cleared his throat and gave them his famous cold look. 
everyone went silent when they saw their captain looking at them intensely and each one of them gulped. 
everyone knows that kind of look that means, and they are scared for their lives. 
Aran looks at you like he is asking for help but you just chuckled. 
“good luck with your training guys!”
after the training, you and kita walked together and as you both were walking he held your hands brought it up to his lips.
he gave the back of your hand a kiss which makes you blush
he looks at your flustered face with a flirty smile plastered on his face
"you look very beautiful and sexy with your new hair style, my love"
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Crazy Rich Avengers
Chapter 1:
Summary: You and Peter have been dating for a little over 6 months and have not yet met the Avengers. You were getting curious as to when you would meet them, until you get an invitation from Tony Stark himself, inviting you and Peter to Wanda and Vision’s wedding in Hawaii over Spring Break. You thought that it would be nice to go and finally meet everyone, but what will you think after you’ve been tested by the team?
*Based on the movie Crazy Rich Asians, each chapter will be a different scene from the movie. There will be 15 chapters. Also includes a GIF from the movie scene at the beginning of each chapter.
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A/N: I’ve had this series planned for a little while now, and I just got this chapter done and edited and I feel really good about it. I didn’t know if anyone would want to read this until I posted about it yesterday and got some really good feedback, so thank you all who liked it and asked to be on the taglist so much! This chapter is the first scene of the movie, just some things are switched up to fit Peter and the Avengers. Just note that this one is kind of short and nothing much really happens in this chapter since it is just the beginning, but hopefully the next one is a bit juicer. 
Warnings: swearing and fluff 
Word count: 2166
Chapter 1
“Okay class, make sure to email me those presentations by Monday. I don’t want to keep reminding you guys over Spring Break because I’ve still got a life outside being a professor.” The whole class laughs at your professor’s bluntness. It kind of reminds you of your friend from high school, who would always spoke her truth, even when no one asked for it. You packed your things and waited for a clear space to exit your row. Who knew so many kids would be in a business class? Not you apparently. You were a culinary student at the Institute of Culinary Education or ICE for short. Your dream was to become a baker and own your bakery, hence the business class. This was your last class of the day, and you couldn’t wait to see your boyfriend. You two had been dating for a little over six months and it was the best six months you could ever ask for.
You exited out of the classroom, finally, and made your way towards the elevator. On the way down, you looked through your messages and saw that you had five new texts from Peter.
Peter: Hey babe! I’m out of my photography class now. (1:15)
Peter: Waiting by the couches (1:15)
Peter: I miss you (1:17)
Peter: I’m hungry. Let’s go to that pizza place for lunch. I really want some of their cannoli’s (1:20)
Peter: Y/NNN!!! WHERE ARE YOU??? (1:23)
The elevator stopped at the lobby and you walked over to Peter, who sprang out of his seat and practically ran over to you. He hugged with the force of what you assumed felt like ten tons just based on how tight he held you. You laughed at his clinginess and pushed him off of you.
“Dude my class ran like ten minutes late. What’s the matter with you?” you laugh.
He held your hand in his own and smiles at you. “Just missed you is all. Did you see my text about the cannoli’s?”
“Yeah I saw it.”
“And?” he asks hopefully.
“Aaaaaand what?” you played dumb just to see his cute pouty face.
“Can we get cannoli’s?”
“Yes, we can get a cannoli.”
“Ah! You’re the best! Cannoli’s!” he yells at an insane volume for someone who’s just walking down the street. This earns you both a weird look from the people on the sidewalk. You were about to kiss his cheek until he just took off down the street with your hand still in his. You guessed you never knew he liked cannoli’s so much. Maybe you should try out a recipe and make him some one day.
You get into the pizza restaurant and sit down across from each other and waited for the waiter to take your order. You order your drinks; Peter gets Diet Pepsi and you get a Sprite. Both of you talk about how your classes went and held each other’s hand while you talked.
“So, I’ve got to do this project for my class,” Peter began, “And my camera is at the Compound, so tomorrow I’ll be a little late getting home.”
“Okay, that’s fine. Oh! Speaking of which,” you slam your palms on the table, which makes Peter jump a little. “When am I going to meet them? I mean we’ve been dating for going on seven months now, and I still haven’t met them. And I know they know about me because I got a message from Nat telling me happy birthday two weeks ago.” You raise an eyebrow at him waiting for his answer.
“Speaking of said topic, that reminds me. We got invited to Wanda and Vision’s wedding. And it is next Friday in Hawaii, which is perfect because a) we don’t have classes because it’s Spring Break, and b) I know Hawaii is one of your bucket list places.”
Your jawed dropped for several reasons. One, it’s Wanda and Vision’s fucking wedding! You never met them, but from the way Peter talked about them, you could tell they were meant to be. You always thought that they were like what you and Peter had times one hundred.
“Are you serious? They’re having their wedding in Hawaii?”
“Yeah. They thought that since Mr. Stark – “
“What can I get you two today?” the waiter asked breathless. You didn’t even realize how busy they were.
You looked up at him, “I’ll have a slice of the cheese pizza please?”
“And I’ll have two slices of the meat lovers. And can I get three of your best cannoli’s please?” Peter smiled at the waiter as he wrote down your order.
“Alright that’ll be right out.” He walked away almost jogging to get your order in. Goodness they were slammed.
“As I was saying,” Peter continued. “Mr. Stark has one of those beach houses in Maui and so, they thought that it would be the perfect place for them to tie the knot.”
“Wow, so, we’re invited? Like we’re going to Maui and attending the wedding? And meeting everyone?” you asked now slightly worried.
“Yeah,” he drags out confused. “That’s what kind of what ‘You’re Invited’ means.”
“I know, it’s just…this will be the first time I’m meeting them and I always imagined it would be at a like Sunday dinner type of thing. Not a fucking Avengers wedding!”
“It’s okay, I know they’re gonna love you no matter what.”
You take a sip of your drink, “This is also works out for another reason because MJ has been asking us to come see her ever since she moved to Kahului.”
“All the more reason to go.”
You both get your food and Peter immediately starts on the cannoli’s that he’s been longing to eat and practically moans at the taste of them. You get the check and pay and tipped extra for your waiter, because they need to be paid way more than minimum wage. The two of you walk out and head home so you can spend the rest of the night together.
“So, when do we leave for Maui?” you ask, swinging your intertwined hands between the two of you.
“Umm, I believe on Saturday.”
Today was Thursday so that means that you only had tonight and tomorrow to pack for a whole entire week. “Shit! I have almost no clothes washed, are you kidding me?” you yell. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I just found out this morning!” he yelled back.
“Okay, well it’s a good thing tomorrow I don’t have classes because now I have to do laundry all damn day.” You reach your shared apartment and go to change clothes and you go straight to the laundry room, faster than Peter could imagine. All of your good, cute clothes had to be air dried and so that’s what you did first. After half hour of folding, and drying, and hanging up clothes non-stop, Peter came in wrapped his arms around you.
“Baby, you’ve been here for forever, come sit down with me,” he pleaded.
“I will once I have all the clothes done, but until then,” you pat his cheek. “I can’t.”
He sighs an ‘okay’ and plants a kiss on your cheek and walks away. About twenty minutes later you had gotten all the laundry done and went to join Peter on the couch. He was watching reruns of Brooklyn 99 which was one of your favorite shows. He put his arms out and made grabby hands and you leaned into his touch. You laid your head on his chest with the rest of your body sprawled out on the couch. He put his arm around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head. You looked up and kissed his lips and sat up just a bit straighter. One of his hands went to the back of your neck and the other rubbed your thigh, and you relaxed even more into him. Your right hand carded through his hair and the other sat splayed on his peck, slightly gripping his shirt. You two stayed like this for what felt like hours, just basking in each other’s comfort. You pulled back to breathe and gave him one last kiss before going back to your original position, laying on him.
“What do you wanna watch?” He yawned.
“Well since your yawning and –“ you yawned this time. “And so am I, let’s just take a nap.”
He hummed in agreement and led you to your shared bedroom and he changed into just a pair of sweatpants. You laid down and he did shortly after. You turned, facing him as your chests were touching. You stared at him for quite a long time before you even realized that you were. His face scrunched up that was so cute you wanted to take a picture.
“What?”
“Nothing. You just look cute,” you said back.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Nope. I do,” he challenged.
“That’s impossible because I love you to Jupiter and back,” you kissed his nose, ultimately shutting it down because you were tired. School had kicked your ass this week and you hadn’t really had anytime to just lay with Peter. You scooted down a bit so, you could lay your head on his chest, your legs intertwined, as he held you against him so tight that nothing could slip in between you two.
The next morning you had woken up extra early to make some French toast for you and Peter. You got out the bread and butter and the rest of the ingredients and started cooking. Since you were the one who was in the culinary department, the silent agreement between you and Peter was that you would cook, and he would clean your mess. You tried to not make too much of a mess, because you weren’t that mean. After a couple more minutes you got breakfast done and at that exact moment you put the toast on the plate, Peter comes waddling out with his hair a mess. It was almost like it was scripted like a scene in a movie.
“I smelled French Toast,” he smiled.
“Mhm, I thought that I would be nice and cook breakfast for you this time.” You pecked his cheek and gave him the syrup.
“Eat up and get ready for a long day of packing suitcases, babe,” you winked at him.
“Oh boy.” You didn’t hear his sarcasm often, but when you did it always made you chuckle.
He went over to the couch and you followed setting up the coffee table and turning on Spongebob to watch as you ate. You turned towards him and smiled and received a kiss on the nose. Today was going to be a good day, you thought.
It was now four thirty in the evening and you and Peter were packing up all your belongings into your suitcases. “Okay so you need your swim trunks, flip flops, sunglasses, and what else?” You ask.
“Is that just for swimming?” You nodded. “Then yeah I think that’s it.” You went over to his drawer grabbing his trunks out along with your swimsuit. You had all your clothes spread out into separate piles consisting of swimwear, pajamas, nice shirts, casual shirts, and wedding attire. Peter grabbed all of his clothes and stuffed them into his suitcase and you did the same. After that you went to the bathroom to grab all extra stuff that consisted of teeth and hair products, and everything in that category. Peter went into the kitchen to the medicine and started to pack anything that might be needed for allergy’s and whatnot. You figured you would pack your purse of carry on items before you left tomorrow morning.
After two hours of packing and double checking, and once the bed was cleared, you flopped down face first and groaned. “I’m so exhausted,” you huffed.
“Aww, is my baby tired?” He asked this as he pressed feather-light kisses to your neck that always made you shudder.
“Yes,” you say as you awaited a kiss on the lips. He happily kisses you, slow and lovingly, and you feel like you could stay there for eternity. He pulls away for minute to catch his breath. “We should probably figure out what we want to do for dinner.”
“How ‘bout leftovers? There’s still some enchiladas or lemon pepper chicken in the fridge.”
“Ooooh, let’s do chicken.”
You get up from the bed to heat the chicken up in the oven. “Imma make some garlic cheesy rice too!” You shout from the kitchen.
“Sounds good, baby.”
You two make your dinner and eat in a comfortable silence, watching TV. You both decided to watch one more episode of Parks and Rec before calling it a night, and Peter figured it would be smart to go to bed early since you would both have a long day of checking flights and meeting the Avengers tomorrow; and that was tiring by itself.
Tag-List: @randomstufflol29​ @spideyspeaches​ @binnotjin​
134 notes · View notes
1-800-hyunlix · 3 years
Text
dance to this — hhj
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crush culture ♡ part thirty five
⇢ pairing: non-idol! hyunjin x fem! reader
⇢ word count: 4.4k
⇢ warnings: cussing, some underaged drinking, it’s literally a high school party so, can y/n and hyunjin get their shit together already?
⇢ listen while you read: dance to this - troye sivan
⇢ a/n: happy (kinda late) valentine’s day! i haven’t updated in forever but i’ve spent so much time trying to finish writing the remaining chapters for this series. i hate to say it but this story’s coming to an end and FAST. also i’m so sorry, i meant to post this yesterday but here we are 🙄 anyways, enjoy <3
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Thanks to you, the snack table looked great and Jisung was very pleased, to say the least.
Everyone had already shown up to the party. Changbin and Minho stood in the corner talking with Minghao and his friend Seokmin. Yuna, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix had gone outside after complaining about how hot and crowded the house was. And Jisung. Well Jisung was hungry.
“Hey,” you said over the noise. “Jisung.”
He hummed and looked up, grabbing another chip from the bowl.
“When’s Hyunjin gonna get here?” The party had only started an hour ago but even though almost all of your friends had arrived, he still hadn’t shown. Part of you was wishing it would stay that way. You had been trying your best to avoid him ever since you found out about cupid’s kiss. It would be much easier to do that if he just decided to not come at all.
“Hyunjin offered to pick up Chan and Chaeyeon after their dates,” He answered, plucking his phone from out of his back pocket. “They should be getting here soon.”
well shit.
“Y/n!” A voice yelled from behind you. Spinning on your heels, you were met with Mingyu walking towards you holding a cup in his hand. “Having fun?”
“You could say that.” you shrugged. Parties never really excited you. They always seemed so repetitive. People making out in bedrooms, kids too young to be drinking getting wasted anyway, and lots of unnecessary socializing. But you’d always go anyway. It’d take a couple drinks, but eventually you’d start having fun.
“I thought your boyfriend was coming.”
Your eyes widened and you spun around to make sure Jisung hadn’t heard Mingyu’s bold comment and sighed in relief when you realized he wasn’t standing behind you anymore. Instead he was clinging onto Minho’s side as they grabbed drinks from the kitchen.
“He’s not my boyfriend and I thought we agreed to stop talking about it.”
“He’s not your boyfriend yet.” he smirked, leaning against the table and taking a sip of whatever was in his red solo cup.
“I just told him about Cupid’s Kiss,” you lied again. “not that I liked him.”
Mingyu sighed but nodded his head nonetheless. “Which is a step in the right direction!”
Rolling your eyes, you began walking away from Mingyu and towards the kitchen. “Happy Valentine’s Day by the way!” He yelled from behind you. You shook your head and continued to maneuver through people, muttering small “excuse me’s'' as you passed.
Crowds were another thing you hated about parties. Squeezing through the groups of kids who were either too drunk or obnoxious to move out of the way.
The kitchen counter was covered with a variety of drinks, some of which you weren’t even sure how Mingyu acquired. You grabbed a cup and filled it halfway with the punch you watched Mingyu and Minghao mix earlier. Instantly bringing the cup up to your lips, you winced when the liquid hit the back of your throat.
It wasn’t your favorite taste but if you were planning on having at least some fun at the party, you’d need all the drinks you could get.
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Now you stood outside with Ryujin, Seungmin, Jeongin and Yuna listening while they talked about the Valentine’s dance and how mad they were gonna be if it was “as bad as last year’s dance.” You wouldn't know, you didn’t go.
“Look who’s finally here.” Ryujin nudged your shoulder and pointed towards the back door of the house.
Hyunjin and Chan walked out, greeting people as they made their way over towards your group. They were so casual about all the attention they received from everyone else, like they were used to having all the kids at school drool over them.
It’s not like you haven’t noticed it before. Especially when it came to Hyunjin. The minute he moved to your school, he became everyone’s new obsession. It just hadn’t bothered you until now, rolling your eyes as a group of girls standing next to you had completely forgotten about their conversation and instead, were far more interested in staring at Hyunjin.
You found yourself staring at him too. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t instantly catch your eye the moment he walked through the door. He looked good all the time and Valentine’s night was no exception.
“Finally you guys decide to show up!” Jeongin groaned, sarcastically throwing his head back. Chan laughed and patted him on his back.
“Sorry,” he said, “Hyunjin picked us up right after his date. It took longer than expected.”
Hyunjin nodded in agreement and glanced over to you, shooting you a sweet smile. You returned it and quickly averted your eyes.
“Date” you laughed in your head. They lied right in front of your face and had absolutely no idea that you knew.
“Speaking of Hyunjin’s date,” Seungmin spoke, “where’s Yuri? She didn’t wanna come?”
You watched intently as Hyunjin and Chan looked at each other as if they were trying to come up with something to say. You have no idea how you didn’t catch onto their lies sooner. They were being so obvious.
“Yeah, she doesn’t like parties.” Hyunjin answered.
Taking a drink from your cup, you sighed. The rest of the group was engaged in an interesting conversation about who they believed would get drunk first. Chan bet on Felix but the freckled boy protested and said it was definitely going to be Jisung. You hadn’t said anything but giggled as Jisung and Felix playfully bickered back and forth.
Upon hearing your laugh, Hyunjin glanced back at you. His eyes traveled down your body, not so subtly checking you out. He’d never seen you “dressed up” like this before other than the time you tried on that dress at the mall. You looked different but a good different. He noted how you styled your hair differently than you usually would and how the shoes you were wearing made you almost as tall as him.
Feeling eyes on you, you turned towards Hyunjin and caught him red handed. He nervously shifted on his feet and smiled at you. “I like the outfit,” He started, “You look really pretty tonight.”
As if on cue, you felt heat rise up to your cheeks.
You struggled to say something back, afraid that the minute you opened your mouth, you’d turn into a stuttering mess right in front of him. Hurry up, the little voice inside your head demanded. Speak idiot.
“Oh uhm thanks, you too,” you began, instantly regretting it. “I mean not pretty, you don’t look pretty but you look nice and...shit that came out wrong.”
Amused by the embarrassment you were inflicting on yourself, Hyunjin laughed, his tongue pushing on the inside of his cheek; a habit of his that you picked up on. He liked to do it whenever he was about to tease you or say something totally sarcastic. “Sorry, I don't think I heard over the music. Did you say I look pretty?”
You rolled your eyes, letting out a small chuckle. “You know what I meant, Hwang.”
Jeez y/n, you’re pathetic. What happened to avoiding him?
You wanted to stick to your original plan; have fun and make it through the party all while avoiding Hyunjin in the process. But you could tell it wouldn’t be that easy.
Glancing towards Hyunjin again, you watched as he laughed at a video of Jisung doing something dumb that Felix recorded on his phone. His laugh was so contagious and despite how you hadn’t even seen the video, you giggled too.
This is what you meant when you said he made it hard for you. Every little thing he did, you adored. He was practically living rent free in your head and as much as you wanted him out, he refused to leave.
Deciding that you would just drown your problems with the punch in your cup, you held it to your mouth to drink only to groan when it was empty. “Hey Hyunjin,” you tapped him on the shoulder. “I’m gonna get a refill, you wanna come with?”
Seriously Y/n, you suck at this.
He nodded almost eagerly and followed you into the house.
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“I promise you it’s not bad! Just try it!”
You were standing in the corner of the kitchen trying to convince Hyunjin to try the punch that you had been indulging yourself in all night. Seeing as he didn’t know the contents of the drink and you were practically already buzzed, he was unsure if drinking the punch would do him any good.
“Fine but only one cup!” He gave in and you threw your arms up in satisfaction. Almost hesitantly, he took a drink and your eyes lingered to his hands. The way the silver rings on his fingers shone under the light and how they gripped the cup. Then down to his striped shirt he left unbuttoned more than likely on purpose. His beauty was effortless and sometimes you got jealous of how he could simply look so good without trying.
Looking up from his cup, his eyes met yours and you quickly turned away. The corner of his lips lifted up in a smirk as you clearly had no idea that he was aware of your staring the whole time. It’s not like you were discreet about it.
“How many of these have you had?”
You glanced at the cup in your hands and shrugged. “Maybe like four?”
Hyunjin raised an eyebrow and nodded his head. How you were drinking this, he had no idea. It wasn’t at all good to him. “How was your date? With Mingyu?”
You didn’t want to talk about Mingyu, nervous that Hyunjin would ask too many questions and you’d accidentally let something slip.
If you were being completely honest, you only showed up early to the party to make it look like you and Mingyu hung out for Valentine’s Day. You wouldn’t really call filling up chip bowls and watching Minghao and Mingyu argue over where to put the sound system a date.
“Oh it was good!” You answered almost too fast. “Yeah it was fun.”
Hyunjin nodded his head and weakly smiled. You almost winced at the awkward tension that sat in the air and you took another drink, humming in satisfaction. It was definitely doing its job.
The next song began and immediately recognizing it, you gasped and removed the cup from your lips. “This song is so good,” without thinking, you grabbed onto Hyunjin’s wrist. “let’s dance.”
He obliged as you dragged him through the crowd and into the living room where teens jumped around with one another.
Smiling as you made it into the middle of the dance pit, you found the beat and slowly began swaying your body to the rythmn. Hyunjin grinned, raising his eyebrow in amusement.
Still having a grip on his wrist, you intertwined your fingers and yelled over the music. “C’mon Hyunjin,” you smirked. “Dance with me.”
He chuckled and shook his head but seconds later found himself matching your movements.
Nodding as he danced along with you, you closed your eyes in bliss. He watched this with admiration. He had never seen you so care free before. You usually always seemed so shy and nervous when you danced in front of him but tonight you were practically all over him.
You enjoyed it; the way your bodies nearly pushed up against each other due to the lack of space in the room and the way the music blared through your ears, blocking out all other noise within distance.
This isn’t part of the plan, Y/n. Quit dancing and get your shit together! spoke the same voice in your head that you’d been unintentionally ignoring all night long. It was like a little angel on your shoulder telling you to let go of Hyunjin’s hand and walk away before you got yourself into another situation that you couldn’t get out of.
But on the opposite shoulder, sat a little devil who disagreed with the angel and insisted that you stayed on the dance floor. Don’t listen to them! You wanted to do this all night! Get over yourself, y/n!
Quite frankly, you didn’t know who to listen to.
You looked back up to meet his eyes and gulped once you found Hyunjin was already staring at you. He searched your face, looking for any sign that you felt the same way he did. He removed his hand from yours and instead placed it on your waist, bringing you closer to him. Your breath hitched as his hand snaked around to the small of your back, his rings cold on your skin.
Growing nervous, you shifted on your feet and gently placed your free hand on his chest. “I’m sorry,” you muttered and he knitted his brows in confusion. “I need some air.” You gently pushed away from him and began walking, his hand loosely trailing across your back as you left.
Hyunjin turned and watched as you quickly maneuvered through people and to the back door. He sighed and took a swig from his drink before leaving the center of the room to stand against a wall, distancing himself from the dancing crowd.
You confused him and how you felt was still a mystery to him. One minute, you were dancing with him and blushing whenever he complimented you. The next, you were ignoring him and getting nervous whenever he showed the slightest bit of affection. Maybe he’d been reading you all wrong. Maybe you hadn’t felt the same way about him and he’d been getting his hopes up just to be disappointed in the end.
He had stood by the wall for a while by himself, taking drinks from his cup every so often. He was too deep in thought to even notice Mingyu approaching.
“Hyunjin!”
Turning his head to the left, he frowned. Him and Mingyu had never really had a serious conversation before. Most of their “talking” was just done in class when they’d give each other the answers. “Hey Mingyu.”
“I’m glad you could make it.” Mingyu smiled, standing beside him with his arms crossed.
Hyunjin smiled back, unsure of how to respond. “Yeah, thanks for inviting us.”
“I saw you and Y/n out there,” Mingyu started, taking a drink from his cup. Hyunjin nervously eyed him. When he was dancing with you, he had totally forgotten about Mingyu and how he might’ve reacted when he saw his date all over someone else. “I’m glad everything got fixed.”
Hyunjin thought for a moment before realizing he had no idea what Mingyu was talking about. “Sorry,” he said. “What?”
“Y’know, everything. Cupid’s Kiss and all.” Mingyu laughed. Confusion was evident on Hyunjin’s face and it quickly became clear to Mingyu what was going on. “Y/n didn’t tell you, did she?”
“No?” Hyunjin said, more like a question rather than an answer.
Mingyu sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course you hadn’t told him. It was you he was talking about, someone who avoided confrontation at all costs. “There was a mix up with the Cupid’s Kiss results. Y/n and I weren’t supposed to get each other after all.”
Hyunjin nodded slowly, looking down at the floor as he listened.
“I was supposed to be with Haseul,” Mingyu swallowed before hesitantly continuing. “Y/n was supposed to be with you.”
Hyunjin’s head whipped up, his eyes widening in shock. He observed Mingyu, trying to figure out whether or not this was just some drunk joke he decided to play just to spite him. But no, Mingyu looked dead serious. “Y/n knew?”
“Yep,” Mingyu hummed, “I found out about it a couple days ago and texted her right away. She said she’d tell you but clearly…” he trailed off and narrowed his eyes at Hyunjin.
A million things were running through Hyunjin’s head but all he wanted to do was find you. “I gotta look for Y/n. Thanks for telling me, Mingyu.”
Mingyu gave him a sympathetic smile and muttered a “No problem” before Hyunjin took off towards the backyard.
It was messed up. This whole time he felt horrible because he had gotten you for Cupid’s Kiss while you had gotten Mingyu when in reality, you were supposed to get each other. It wasn’t fair. He could’ve had you from the beginning.
Why you hadn’t told him about it as soon as you found out also shocked him. What were you gaining from keeping it hidden?
Hyunjin reached the back door and looked around the crowded yard, finally spotting you. You stood off to the side, talking with Chan and Chaeyeon.
As he walked over, he could hear you laughing at something Chan joked about.
“Hyunjin!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms over his shoulder. “Sorry I walked off. It was sooo hot in there.”
yeah, sure it was.
He eyed Chan who gave him a knowing look back. Your slurred words and sudden attitude change were enough evidence to tell him that you were drunk, somehow more than the last time he saw you.
He had originally wanted to walk over and talk to you about Cupid’s Kiss but seeing your state, he knew it wasn’t the time. He’d have to wait.
You chugged the final drops of your drink and closed your eyes, resting your head on Hyunjin’s arm. He shifted, placing his arm around your waist to help keep you upright.
“I’m tired.” you murmured, leaning closer into him.
“You wanna go home?” Hyunjin asked, speaking softly so only you could hear.
“Mhm.”
He nodded and turned back to Chan. “I’m gonna drive her home but if you want I can come back to pick you guys up after.” He didn’t wanna feel like a shitty friend for driving them there and then ditching them.
Chan shook his head and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about it, Hyunjin. Changbin can give us a ride.”
Hyunjin smiled and said goodbye before Chae and Chan walked off. Then he focused his attention back on you. You stood up straight and rubbed your eyes in discomfort. He grabbed onto your hand and began guiding you inside the house, surprised that you were even able to keep yourself balanced.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m driving you home.” Finally making it outside of the house and to the front yard, he held onto you tightly as he led you to his car that was parked a short distance from the house.
“Oh no, I can’t go home,” you responded. “My parents will be so mad at me for this.”
He hadn’t even thought about that. Surely, your parents wouldn’t be very happy about you coming home late and completely trashed. But where else were you supposed to go when all of your other friends were still at the party.
“You could stay at my place,” he suggested, his voice sounding a lot more quiet than usual. “if you want.”
You may have been drunk but you weren’t dumb and was still well aware of what he was asking you. Your stomach turned at the thought of spending the night with Hyunjin and Hyunjin only. You didn’t really have any other options so it seemed you’d have to get over your emotions for one night.
“Yes please.”
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The drive to Hyunjin’s place wasn’t long. Surprisingly, you managed to stay awake for the ride. You had both sat in silence the whole time, except for when Hyunjin had reminded you to text your parents and tell them you were staying at Ryujin’s for the night. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but more so because you were too caught up in your own thoughts to engage in conversation.
At one point, you had rolled your window down and stuck your head out slightly, taking in the cold air of the night. You closed your eyes when the wind hit your skin and grinned. Hyunjin watched you in admiration.
It was relaxing and almost felt like the wind was blowing all the guilt and nervousness right out of you.
When you got to his house, he had gotten out of the car and rushed over to the passenger side to help you out. You waved him off, insisting that you could walk yourself. Hyunjin shook his head as you began walking to the door, giggling at how you stumbled over your own feet.
Inside, he’d given you some clothes of his to change into, seeing that you probably wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping in fishnets and a jean jacket. You didn’t even get the chance to protest with him as he shoved you into his bathroom and closed the door behind you.
After throwing his hoodie on, you glanced in the mirror and frowned at the sight of your disheveled hair and semi-smeared makeup. This is what Hyunjin had to look at? Embarrassing. You splashed your face with water and hurried out of the bathroom.
In his room, Hyunjin was making a makeshift bed on the floor with blankets and pillows that he retrieved from another room. Looking up at you, he swallowed. Seeing you wear his clothes brought out a sense of satisfaction in him, like you fit perfectly in them.
“You can take the bed,” he said. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
You frowned. “It’s your room, Hyunjin. I’m totally fine with sleeping on the floor.” If you were being honest, you’d be fine sleeping anywhere. You just wanted to sleep.
“Exactly. It’s my room so I have a say in where you get to sleep,” he smiled, ruffling his hair. “and I say you get to sleep on the bed.”
Rolling your eyes, you trudged over to the bed and snuck under the covers. Once you got comfortable, you patted the spot next to you. “I’m not just gonna let you sleep on the floor,” you hummed, your words still coming out messy. “Lay with me.”
Apparently for you, a side effect of drinking was a sudden boost of confidence because sober Y/n would’ve never mustered up enough courage to ask Hyunjin to sleep with her. Sure, you’ve slept together before but it was accidental and at a sleepover with a bunch of your friends. It didn’t count.
“You sure?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. “Because i’m totally fine with sleeping on the floor. I’ve done it before and like you wouldn't believe how comfortable carpet is when you’re tired.”
Hyunjin’s rambling made you giggle and you sighed, throwing your head back onto the pillow to stare at the ceiling. “Wow. Driving me home, letting me wear your clothes, willing to give up your bed for me,” you spoke quietly, almost to yourself rather than to him. “At this point Hyunjin, it just seems like you’re obsessed with me.”
He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. He hesitated but much to your surprise, slipped under the covers next to you. Once he got comfortable, he placed his hands under his head and turned to look at you. “I think ‘obsessed’ would be reaching.”
Your heart jumped at the close proximity of you two and you took a deep breath. Silence came once again and maybe it was just you but you could feel the tension in the air. It sat on top of the two of you like a weighted blanket and you didn’t know how to lift it.
You closed your eyes in an attempt to shake away any thoughts and feelings that found their way into your head. Why did he have to be like this?
“What’re you thinking about?” Hyunjin’s voice came out quiet, almost like a whisper.
“You.”
You weren’t sure what came over you. Maybe it was the fact that you were on the verge of sleep or maybe it was the alcohol still very much in your system. Maybe it was both.
Hyunjin’s eyes averted to you. “Me?”
“Yeah, you.”
Whatever it was, you weren’t completely aware of what you were saying and you knew you were probably going to regret it in the morning. That was, if you could remember saying it.
“Hyunjin,” you yawned before speaking again, “Can I tell you something?”
He looked at you and noticed you still stared at the ceiling, your eyes beginning to get heavy due to sleepiness. You could pass out at any moment whereas Hyunjin wasn’t even tired. “Sure.”
“I think you’re perfect.”
Yeah, you were definitely going to regret saying this in the morning.
“Almost too perfect.” you continued as Hyunjin nervously bit his lip.
He moved his arms to rest on his stomach as he fiddled with his thumbs.
“Too perfect for me.” You said in a hushed tone, worried that if you spoke too loud, he’d be able to hear your heartbeat through your voice. “And that makes this whole thing so much harder.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wish I could deserve you as badly as I want you, Hyunjin.”
He didn’t know what to say or even what to do. You shocked him and as he stared up at the ceiling, he felt stuck in place. The room went quiet again.
He hadn’t prepared himself to hear a drunk confession from you, especially when you sat right next to him in his own bed. It was so sudden and based on the way you practically avoided him all night, it was very random.
I wish I could deserve you as badly as I want you. Your words were on replay in his head and he thought about what Mingyu had told him at the party. It was supposed to be you and him all along. Maybe now would be a good time to mention that.
Hyunjin turned towards you to speak but stopped at the sight of you already sleeping. Your head was close to his on the pillow and you had pulled the blanket all the way up to your neck.
He observed your face. Your lips were pouted and your cheeks slightly puffy. You looked so comfortable. This was the most relaxed he’d seen you all night, free from worry and stress and secrets.
Hyunjin sighed. He’d just have to talk to you about it tomorrow.
He reached over to the table beside his bed and turned his lamp off although he was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all that night.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/n.”
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.˚ ✉️ TAGLIST ♡ ⃗
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326 notes · View notes
jisungsplatforms · 3 years
Text
Love Chocolates
Pairing: Han Jisung x fem! reader
Genre: NSFW! Smut; established relationship
Warning: Mature content! (DNI if you are uncomfortable or UNDERAGED); language, food (should that even be considered a warning??) mentions of (implied lovers) members (Changlix), use of aphrodisiac stimulants, dry humping (f), masterbation (m), PIV, unprotected sex, cream pie, mentions of multiple rounds.
A/n: yup. i finally decided to post the fic about tiktok chocolates i mentioned before (in my minho smut). this has been in my drafts for a while actually lol
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“No. Absolutely not.”
“But whyyy?” Jisung whined, shaking your arm. “It’ll be good! I promise!” He sticks out this pinky, wiggling it with a tiny pout. You sighed at him, maneuvering his hand away from your face.
“They’re just some dumb viagra knockoffs that probably don’t even work, Ji,” you argued, “how do you even know they’ll work?”
“Felix and Bin tried them!”
You looked at him, subtly prompting him to continue. He, however, only stood silently with an expectant look.
“Aaand...?”
Your boyfriend’s face then contorted into a look of sheepishness. “Well, uh, they didn’t exactly tell me if it was good or not...” he replied, fiddling his fingers.
“What.”
“But! But, judging by the pervy looks on their faces when I asked about them, I think it’s pretty safe to say that they had a good time!”
You let out a deep exhale, yet again, pinching the bridge of your nose. “May I ask, how did they even find out about those ‘sex chocolates’?”
“Tiktok!”
What the fuck.
Why would Jisung think that this’ll help spice up your sex life? Your sex life is great, which is what you’re assuming both of you agree on. You both get aroused regularly and normally, so what’s the point?
“But what if they don’t even work and they’re just fucking around with you, Ji? Then you just spent $30 for nothing,” you said.
“I mean, I wouldn’t say “for nothing”. They’re still chocolate! So we’d still be winning!” he reasoned.
“Okay, but, why do we even need them? We already fuck like rabbits on a daily, so what’s the difference if we do take the aphrodisiac chocolates?”
“That, my lovely, sexy, sweet girlfriend, is the fun part!” he said with a impish grin.
Uh oh. He had a proposition, and you’re not really thrilled to hear it. You knew there was a catch to all this. “The game is, we both have to take two- one to make us mindblowingly horny and another to boost up our libido- and see how long it’ll take for us to snap!”
You didn’t say anything. You merely gave him a look, as if you were saying “really?”
“Come on, it’ll be fun, babe!” Jisung jumped, excitedly. “Pleeeaaase~?” He shook you around for a bit before you finally submitted to his pleas.
“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll do it.”
“YES! I LOVE YOU!” Jisung beamed. He spun you around and kissed you. Even though you wanted to be mad at him, you just can’t. Jisung was just too cute to resist.
“Yeah yeah, now hand me two of those placebo chocolates, you horny motherfucker.”
He snickered, turing around to hand you the chocolates on the coffee table. Giving them to you, you tore one open to eat. You made disgusted look after tasting the first one.
“Ew,” you complained, “mint chocolate.”
“Hey, no mint chocolate slander in this household! Or else i’ll have no choice but to break up with you.”
“Shut up and eat yours already!”
- Timeskip ⏰ -
It’s been almost 30 minutes and the chocolates still haven’t kicked in yet. You grumbled, checking your phone again for the time.
“You said it just takes about 15 minutes for the effects to kick in,” you whined, turning to Jisung, who sat on the other loveseat on your left. “What gives?”
“I don’t know!” he said, raising both his hands up. “Give it more time. Maybe it might work a little different for some people.”
You groaned. Wanting to lay down, you grabbed the longer pillow that was on the otherwise to the couch to wrap around your legs. Instead of feeling comfortable, you felt a numbing ache in between them. All of a sudden, you felt hyper aware of the heat in the room (and in your vagina).
You tried moving yourself around to ignore the pain, which ended up being a terrible idea for it made you even more needier. You let out a small whimper, and of course, Jisung heard it.
“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?” he asked worriedly. You shook your head ‘no’ then looked at him.
“I can feel it, Ji,” you whimpered with glossy eyes. He knew exactly what you were referring to. He was going to stand up and check on you but he felt a familiar shock down his dick at the sight of your needy expression. He instead lead back further into the seat, digging his hands onto the armrest.
Fuck.
He wanted to go to you so bad to please each other. But of course he remembered about the game you two established. So all he could do is watch helplessly as you grounded against your pillow.
“Hm, fuck. Ji,” you whimpered, trying to grind harder into the pillow. But it wasn’t enough. Thanks to the sex chocolates, it made you even more sensitive but harder to satisfy. Seeing how humping your pillow isn’t enough, your dominant hand trailed down between your legs and into your panties. You rubbed gentle circles onto your clip at first, making you cry out and bury your face into the pillow.
Jisung squirmed in his seat, watching you fling your panties off your legs while your hand rubs harsher circles onto your clit, your hips moving at the stimulation. Not bringing able to handle it anymore, his right hand went into his shorts to pull out his penis to stroke it. His head fell back, finally feeling relief. “Hmm. Fucking shit...” he moaned, bucking his hips. He bit the bottom of his thin lips, pumping faster. However, just like you, it wasn’t enough to fully satisfy him as well.
“Ji-Jisung,” you weakly called out to him, looking up at him again. You had tears in your eyes from the sexual frustration. “Fuck, it hurts. I-it doesn’t feel as good. Want your fingers instead.”
“Fuck,” he mumbled. He stood up abruptly, dick still out, and walked to where you were. He hovered above you as he removed your hands from your pussy- right as you were about to finger yourself, sucking on your fingers. You whined, both from the lost of simulation on your clit and from Jisung sucking your slick from your fingers.
He unlatched your fingers with a string of saliva still connect itself to them and kissed you roughly, shoving his tongue into our mouth, making you moan. You enjoy the lewdness of the kiss; his tongue massaging yours, having a faint taste of yourself. He pulled away from your sweet lips and removed his shorts and underwear. He pumped himself a few time while kissing you.
“Want my cock, baby?”
You nodded your head, pouting. “Please fuck me, Sungie,” you panted. “Need you so bad.”
“Hmm. Shit,” he exhaled sharply, inserting himself into your wet cavern. The two of you moan simultaneously. Jisung gave you a minute to adjust before thrusting slowly. You whimpered at the pace he was going, deeming that it was too slow for your unbearably horny self. You wrapped your arms around his back, grinding your hips further into his, making Jisung throw his head back with a loud moan.
Getting your silent plea, he moved his hips in a deliciously fast pace. You arched your back, relieved that you were finally feeling the numbing pleasure you craved. Jisung leaned down, breathing heavily into your ear while you gave quiet moans and whimpers of your own. Filthy slaps and other unholy noises filled the room. With each thrust, his hips moved faster and harder, pushing you closer to the edge.
“Holy f-fuck, baby,” Jisung moaned, “I’m so close.”
“M-me too,” you slurred. Your eyes were shut tight as you felt your core clench tighter and tighter around Jisung’s cock. He thrusted into you a few more times before releasing his semen inside of you, letting out a few choked moans. Feeling his hot cum fill you up pushed you to your own release, your body spasming as you do. Jisung rocked his hips a little, riding out your highs, before finally pulling out, his cum slowly dripping out of you.
Out of exhaustion, your boyfriend collapsed on top of you, his face buried in between your breasts. You stroked his hair out of comfort before remembering about the deal that was made prior.
You giggled, “Hey, Ji? What happened to ‘seeing how long it’ll take til one of us snaps’?”
Jisung laughed while shaking his head. “Fuck that. We both know that it would’ve been me to give in first no matter what.”
You laughed, your chest shaking his head, kissing the top of his head. You cuddled for a while before feeling the ache between your legs come back again.
Luckily, you weren’t the only one. “Uh...Y/n?”
“MmHmm?”
“My -uh- dick is hard again...”
“...”
“Wanna go for another round?” he said, moving to look at you. You sat up instantly, removing his shirt before taking off your own. You kissed Jisung’s lips roughly, moving to sit on his lap. It’s safe to say that the sex chocolates do actually work, and pretty damn well too.
You might have to thank Felix and Changbin for recommending them to Sungie later.
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waatermelon-sugaar · 3 years
Text
Under My Skin: Chapter 1
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Series masterlist
Word count = 4,6 k
Chapter Warnings = swearing, canon-typical violence, bad writing
Summary = You hate Poe Dameron. Simple, right?
Edit = Cross posted to AO3
Part 1 of 4 (I think)
Poe Dameron didn’t like you and you didn’t like Poe Dameron.
“Because!” You grouse to Rose as you make your way to the cantina, “he thinks he’s so much better than everyone else, no one could ever come close to his skills, and he always gets the best missions, and he’s good, but he’s not that good, he acts like he’s god's gift to women - no scratch that - to the galaxy, and he’s so arrogant!” You’re growling in frustration as you round the corner, suddenly lowering your voice as much as you can because Dameron is right there at the end of the corridor, deep in discussion with General Organa and Finn.
Rose’s only response is to whack you over the head as she walks through the swinging doors in the centre of the corridor. You’ve never been so glad you don’t have to walk past Dameron in your life. “What was that about?” You hiss as you catch up with Rose, grabbing your own tray and helping yourself to dinner. “You didn’t have to hit me in front of General Organa.” Rose snorts. “Yeah the General was the one you were worried about.”
Trays full, the two of you spot an empty booth and hurry towards it, sitting opposite each other. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You won’t shut up about Poe.” She jabs her fork at you, causing bits of potato to fall to the table. You can only gape, words escaping you momentarily.
Momentarily.
“What! I won’t - Dameron - he - he and I - urgh! - never in my life - he’s annoying!” You settle on finally, fully aware that you’re now whining. “He frustrates me!”
Rose raises an eyebrow, “Well maybe you need to work out those frustrations.” You shake your head, deciding to ignore her for now as you concentrate on eating. “You do need to get laid.”
You yelp, coughing when you try to swallow too quickly in shock. And then- “I can help with that, sweetheart.” You whip round, eyes narrowing when Dameron’s behind you, his flight suit tied around his waist, exposing his dirty vest and irritatingly strong arms. The only person who can beat him in arm wrestling is Finn - you can no longer count the amount of times he’s beaten you.
You take another scoop of dinner before talking with a full mouth. “Ok, one, I’m not your sweetheart, and two, Rose is wrong, and even if she was right, I definitely don’t need your help with-” you pause, swallow, and gesture vaguely in his general direction. “That.”
This, annoyingly, only seems to make him grin more. “That? You’re not gonna call it what it is?” You lean back, pulling your most unimpressed look onto your face, as he continues, still smirking, even having the audacity to wink at you. “Hot, animal sex.”
Rolling your eyes, you scoff, turning back to your dinner. “Whatever you say, Dameron.”
“Does it make you feel better, being mean to me?” Dameron asks as he squeezes onto the small piece of bench next to you. You huff, moving up so that you’re not touching. You don’t like him, but you’re not rude. 
Ignoring his question, you deflect. “Where’s Finn? Don’t you want to sit with him?” It takes more effort than it should to sound like you’re asking out of interest, and not because you want him to go away. Which you do.
“He’s still talking to Leia.” Your eyes flick to Rose, and she knows what you’re thinking. You twist your body to face Dameron, bringing a leg up under you. “Is this about the mission?” Her voice is low as she leans across the table, forgetting about the rest of her dinner.
The last few days have been hell. Rumours have been flying around base, centered around a box full of Jedi crystals. Kyber crystals, you’d told Rose the other day, not that the name cleared anything up. You’d poked around the base’s library on your datapad when you had the odd chance, but the Jedi were now the stuff of legend, just stories told to children about ‘the good old days’.  
The rumours made things worse - you’re not sure how much of it to believe - there were so few people who were even Force sensitive but as far as you were aware there were no Jedi left. Luke Skywalker was lost, and therefore probably dead. And even if Jedi did still exist, weren’t they supposed to be the good guys? Why hadn’t they come to help fight along with the Resistance?
But Dameron decides to play dumb. “What mission?” His eyes are too wide to be innocent and it annoys you. “Finn’s talking to Leia about…” he pauses, eyes desperately searching the cantina as he tries to think of a good excuse. “The quality of the food!” Turning to you, his eyes are intense. “I know you want more chocolate pudding.” You ignore how he knows that, instead focusing on glaring at him. “Dameron do you think I’m a good pilot?”
“Look,” he turns to face you, ignoring his own food even as you continue to eat, “it’s nothing to do with your skills as a pilot.” He pauses, but you interrupt before he can give you some empty platitude. “I think it is - otherwise why am I not being included?”
“Hey, will you listen,” he turns to you, poking his finger at you for emphasis. “This mission is top-secret and the risk of the First Order finding out is high so-” This time you properly interrupt, flicking his finger out of your personal space.
“So you just decide to talk about it in the corridor by the busy cantina, where everyone and their mother will see you?”
This shuts him up.
The two of you are looking into each other's faces, inches apart. And it’s annoying because Dameron is unfortunately handsome. Why? Why is he of all people so good looking? Rose coughs obnoxiously loud, causing the two of you to break eye contact and turn to look at her. You lean back from him, trying your best to look thoroughly unimpressed as he stands, picking up his tray and when he speaks, huffing, his voice is sharper than it was before.
“Look, I only came over to say that we’re going to have a mission briefing tomorrow at 6. Ok? So, just-” He leaves, mumbling the rest of the sentence under his breath as he walks across the cantina towards Rey, leaving you with your mouth hanging open, looking and feeling like an idiot.
“Well,” you say as you turn back to Rose. “That’s why I hate him.”
“You’ve got a mission, aren’t you pleased about that?” You can tell you’re annoying her now, but you roll your eyes. “Yeah, with Dameron. He’s just going to be hanging over my shoulder and passing judgement whenever he can. I’m not getting my hopes up.”
Every time you came back from a mission Dameron was there. Always. Just waiting to tell you what you should have done, how you should have flown, how he would have done it. As though the only reason he hadn’t done it was because he was too important.
You knew you didn’t fly how most people did, it had cost you marks in your final exams at school, and it cost you a place in a higher squadron, but it was hard to find the will to change when the poster boy for the Resistance saw nothing but incompetence when he looked at you. Bastard, you couldn’t help but think as you stabbed the last of your greens, wishing it was his face.
***
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
The mission had been going so well. You’d dropped into the planet’s upper atmosphere, bypassing the planet’s security, got inside the compound, obtained the uber-secret box (your briefing hadn’t quite covered what was inside, annoyingly) and you’d been about to sneak out when you’d decided a bit more snooping was necessary.
The box had been in the centre of a library/museum set-up and even you could tell that these were rare books. So you’d told Dameron to inspect the objects while you scanned the books, pulling out a few that caught your eye.
The first warning you had been given was a blaster grazing your arm, causing you to yelp in pain, dropping the books and duck to the floor as another shot had ripped through the shelves - an inch or two above where your head had been. So a crap shot then.
Paper had fluttered down around you as you looked for Dameron. The shelves would provide good cover but unfortunately it also meant you couldn’t see your shooter. Pulling your blaster out from its holder, you aimed a couple of returning shots into the darkness at the edges of the room as you looked for Dameron.
You found him near the exit, standing over a number of droids. He’d been holding the box with one arm, the other bleeding heavily, but you’d managed to escape, tangling with another droid who’d punched you as you left the way you came, avoiding the crap shooter on your way out. You didn’t want the First Order to know who’d been there.
So now you and Dameron were walking back to the ship, cutting through undergrowth as you desperately tried to remember the way, face throbbing in pain. Dameron had fallen quiet very quickly, and you were alarmed to see how much blood he had lost so far. His face was pale and all you could think was that it was your fault. If you hadn’t’ve tried to poke around and look for other useful bits and pieces, you would have got out with no trouble.
Oh shit.
You were definitely lost now. You’d taken a gamble on the last turn and this was wrong. There should be a stream somewhere to your left which led back to the ship. Where was it? This was so wrong. And how were you going to admit this to Dameron? “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You swore under your breath.
“What’s wrong?” Dameron’s voice wasn’t right. He’d lost a lot of his power, and you turned to face him, watching as a small drop of blood fell to the floor. You don’t want to say it, you know he’s going to hold this over your head later, your first truly important mission and you’ve fucked up so bad. “I -” you hesitate, mouth open, so unwilling to say it, especially to Poe, you have to force it out. “We’re lost...I don’t know the way back.”
And...oh god, you’re not going to start crying are you? You can feel the familiar burn on the back of your eyes so you blink, looking away from him. But Dameron starts struggling, using his injured arm to try and reach down, looking for something. You move closer, grabbing his wrist and forcing him to stop moving, to stop aggravating his injury. “What are you doing?” And your voice is mean and you don’t know why but his skin is cool, cooler than it should be causing your heart to skitter out of control.
Dameron looks up into your face and his eyes are a little unfocused. Shit. “Looking for a tracker - the ship -” His voice doesn’t sound normal. But you have to be the calm one, you have to be the one in charge so you push the panic down, trying to speak normally. “Where is it? You shouldn’t be using that arm.”
“In my pocket, I -” But you’re one step ahead, unceremoniously dropping his wrist and reaching in, pulling the tracker out. A thin disc with a central button, which you press, and a red light spins around the edge before settling a direction to your left, forcing you to turn about 45 degrees.
You set off, pushing through the undergrowth and snapping branches from trees, kicking any debris out of Poe’s path as he stumbles behind you. Panic is still rising in you, you can’t be the reason the Resistance’s best pilot dies. Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuckin’ motherfucker, please, please, plea-
You pause for a second, trying to get your breathing back under control, even as it skitters away from you. You glance back at Poe, who nods at you.
BB-8 is waiting back at the ship, preliminary checks before take-off having been completed. You help Poe lift into the co-pilot’s chair you’d been occupying earlier and squeezing into the pilot’s chair. You don’t remember the flight back, don’t remember dodging the planet’s security as you took off, all you remember is how pale and quiet Poe is. He watches you the whole way which would normally annoy you, but you don’t think his eyes are fully focused.
You’ve done better landings when you get back to the base, but you don’t really care, Poe’s breathing is different, you can’t stop the panic rising in you, and the second you’ve opened the door you’re yelling, voice already hoarse. “Medic! Medic! I need - I need a medic!” People swirl around you, when did they get here? But you don’t want to let go of Poe, one arm around his back, his uninjured one around your neck while you keep a tight hold of the box.
You fight as someone tries to unfurl your fingers, Poe’s weight disappearing and you’re crying now, hardly able to open your eyes. You don’t feel the sharp sting of the tranquilizer, instead blindly fighting the rising darkness inside you, unable to recognise it for what it is. Voices are all around you, muffled like you’re underwater and lights are appearing in bright spots above your head. You’re floating, falling backwards, further and further, until everything turns black.
***
The debrief was not fun.
Barely out of the medbay, you’d relayed to General Organa what had happened, how it had been your idea to stay back, how you’d got lost in the forest after, how you made a mess.
Due to your injuries, it had been just you and her, and even now, safely in your bunk, you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse than having to tell a whole command room. Sure, you’d been spared public humiliation, but at the cost of having General Organa’s full attention on your failure.
You’d pulled your curtain across your bunk, and you felt as though you might have to stay buried under your covers for at least a week to emotionally recover from the whole ordeal. The worst part of it was that General Organa hadn’t even seemed disappointed, or angry, just...like she expected it.
And Dameron was still in the medbay. It was coming up to 4 days later, but you’d maintained your distance, not sure your fragile heart could stand the pain of knowing his condition was your fault, no matter what anyone said.
You wanted to see him, to apologise, but at the same time the idea of facing him made you feel sick. It was your fault he was in the medbay, you should have prevented it. In fact, the only reason you even knew he was still in the medbay was because you assumed there would be some kind of announcement or celebration when he was better.
A knock on your door made you jump, and then frown, however the door began to open before you could respond which you supposed was kind of your fault, you should have locked it, now you were going to have to talk to someone-
And General Organa walks into the room.
You stand up so fast, you get a rush of blood to the head, your vision going black slightly at the edges. “General, I-” you start talking before you even know what you’re going to say, so shocked to see your hero in your room. Your eyes flick over to the mess of clothes you haven’t bothered to wash in the last week, tissues on the floor, half eaten snack bars and their wrappers littered around as you wished the room was a lot tidier.
“I wanted to check how you were getting on.” Her voice is soft, but still carries that familiar authority as she pulls out the chair from your desk and sits on it.
Your mind goes blank. General Organa...wanted to check...on you?
You manage to pull yourself together, sitting back down on your bed with a suddenly excellent posture. “Good, thank you General.” You can hardly look at her, it’s like she emits light, and it’s too bright, too much.
You’re hyper-aware of your every movement, this is the first time you’ve properly talked to her, you want her to like you, and oh my god she’s in your room? Her eyes never leave you, so you stare at your hands, fingers twisting in your lap. “Call me Leia.” She pauses, but it’s not enough time for the implications of that to sink in. “It’s understandable if you’re still feeling rough.” Oh stars you’re going to cry.
Your eyes are watery and you know looking down only increases the chances of them falling, but if you look up, she’ll see. “I wish I’d done things differently.” You say, and your voice sounds rough.
The room is swimming when you finally look up, but General Orga - Leia is smiling softly at you. “I think about every second of that mission and for every decision that I made, I wish, I wish I did the opposite thing.”
“Why?” The question is asked so simply, and there are so many answers, they crowd your mind. “You were successful, weren’t you?” Still you can only gape at her. Successful? Dameron is still in the medbay-
“I know what it’s like to blame yourself for a mission going sideways.” Leia continues, “But you retrieved the box, you’re both alive, Poe is healing well, the medics say the bleeding has stopped and his stomach is on the mend now.” His stomach? You frown, his stomach wasn’t injured, it was just his shoulder, but Leia mistakes your frown for further dissent.
“I know you think it was your fault because you said let’s stay behind, but what if you had found something important? And Poe agreed, didn’t he? It’s not just on you. You just have to learn when the risk is worth the reward.” With that, she stands, so you do too. “I’ll formally debrief the two of you together when Poe’s out of the medbay, but I thought you needed to know this.” You nod, unable to speak again, but this time for an entirely different reason.
It’s almost too late before you can speak again, Leia halfway out of the door, but she turns back when she hears your voice. “Thank you.” And you mean it. Leia didn’t say much, and nothing new, but she was right. The mission was technically a success. Things went wrong, but you were both alive.
Sitting back on your bed, you feel lighter, more like normal. And a part of that normality is annoyance towards a certain pilot. He was injured in his stomach? The more you think about it, the more a cold fury rises in you. Why wouldn’t he say? He was carrying that heavy box and - you let out a growl, surprisingly loud in the quiet room.
You make your way to the medbay, becoming angrier and angrier with each step. No wonder he had so much blood loss! How dare he not say anything! How could he not tell you? Did he not trust you?
You ignore the signs that tell you visiting hours are over, and maybe it’s the look in your eyes that stops any medics from reminding you as such when you march up to the front desk. “I need to see Poe Dameron, which room is he in?” You feel a tiny bit bad for being so demanding to an overworked medic, but you can’t think past how Poe Dameron lied to you.
You’re shaking as you walk to Dameron’s room, not bothering with pleasantries as you bang open the door. He’s lying in the bed, BB-8 charging in the corner and had you been calmer you would have noticed how Dameron jerked awake when you slammed his door shut. You ignore how he’s hooked up to various machines and drips, bandages covering his body.
“You were shot in the stomach?” Your voice is mean again.
Dameron just blinks groggily at you, a combination of drugs and tiredness, but you push down any pity, letting righteous anger flood your veins with fire. “What?” His voice is hoarse from misuse and sleep.
“You were shot in the stomach?” You repeat, keeping hold of that cold fury as you look down at his face. This extra minute is all Dameron needs to wake up properly and realise why you’re so upset. “No- just, just stabbed.”
“Just!” - and it’s like you’re watching yourself, no control over your actions and even to your own ears you sound hysterical, the volume of your voice rising.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” You demand as he presses a button, lifting the top half of his bed up. Tears are once again pricking your eyes, but this time you will not be crying, so you wipe them away quickly, past caring.
“Because,” Dameron huffs, realising that's not a full sentence. “I don’t know - you...you had enough on your plate, I didn’t want to add to it.”
“You should have told me.” Your voice is dangerous now, your whole body thrumming with an unshakeable anger, even as you stand completely still. A strong undercurrent continues to carry you onwards in the conversation, and you know you’ll need to leave before it runs out. “You carried that box for fuck knows how long, and what? You were just hiding your injury? You just wanted to be a hero, or embarrass me?”
Dameron stays silent, glare heavy in his eyebrows. It’s too much, you want, you need answers.
“ANSWER ME!” You roar, lashing out in defence.
“I had to!” He’s shouting now too, pushing against the bed with his strong arm. “It was hard enough to snap you out of it when we were in the compound - I wasn’t going to add to it - I had to know you could fly us home!”
His words are like they punched you, a heavy exhalation, and it’s as though all the anger was tightly held in your lungs. “I flew us home.” Your voice sounds small as you take a step back. Dameron’s found the one chink in your armour again, just like he did when you first met, the one weak spot of your insecurity and smashed it to smithereens.
There’s silence in the medbay, pushing against your eardrums as though to emphasise just how the loud the two of you were. There’s a brief flicker of curiosity in the back of mind, wondering why the nurses haven’t intervened yet.
You can’t look at Dameron anymore, instead taking in the number of different machines he’s hooked up to, watching the drips, how his heart rate starts to lower as he forces himself to calm down. “So you didn’t trust me?” You don’t want the answer, but you can’t stop the words.
He takes his time answering again, but you still don’t look at him, hands playing behind your back with the hem of your jumper. “If you don’t trust me - you should have asked Leia to switch me out!” Shut up, shut up, shut up, why can’t you stop talking, you stupid-
“Maybe I should’ve!” His voice doesn’t change, there’s no difference in his heart beat, although it’s on the high side of normal, matching yours, but something changed. There’s a split in the room, a chasm separating the two of you that wasn’t there before.
“Well why didn’t you?”
“Because I felt sorry for you!” Your eyes snap up, looking at his face in terror. “I wanted to give you a chance! I didn’t think you’d fuck up like that.” If Dameron’s earlier words were a punch to your gut, these sent you sprawling. Short of an atomic blast inside you, any feeling left inside you was obliterated. Hot embarrassment crawls up your arms and you want Dameron to feel the same pain.
“Fuck you.”
The words hang there, each second an eon. Poe instantly regrets his words, knowing he’s gone too far. He opens his mouth to apologise, but the words don’t come.
Neither of you say anything, glares still spitting red-hot fire, when you suddenly want to leave. You don’t want to see Dameron’s face again, not for a long time. So you clench your jaw, throwing up your middle finger and slamming the door behind you.
***
Isolating yourself doesn’t seem quite so appealing once you’ve left the medbay, so instead you make your way to Rose’s room, grabbing a bottle of firewater from the cantina as you pass. You need a drink.
When you arrive, you’re not sure you want to talk about the recent shitstorm your life has recently become so the first words out of your mouth when Rose opens the door is- “Do you like Jannah?”
It’s a little mean of a conversation to spring on your friend, but you’re a lot of things, and blind is not one of them. You’ve seen how the two mechanics look at each other. Especially when they think the other won’t see. Holding up the bottle as a peace offering, Rose smirks at you before leaving her door open as an invitation.
Rose denies having a crush on Jannah as you work through the bottle, only conceding on the point that Jannah is very pretty. You’re probably a little too quick to agree, blaming it on the drink that’s currently making you feel like you’re floating a couple of inches above the ground.
Comfortable silence falls on the two of you as you sit there, the floor a little cold under you, leaning against Rose’s bed.
“I’ve been thinking-” Rose starts but you interrupt before she can get any further.
“Dangerous.”
Rose doesn’t dignify this with a response, instead waiting until you wave a hand at her to continue.
“We’ve got a coordinating day off next cycle, if you wanna go to Sanctuary III. They’ll have a festival then, I can’t remember which but it should be good fun.” You can tell she’s keen, so you’ll go with her, but you find it hard to inject any enthusiasm into your voice.
Rose picks up on this, sighing as she refills her glass. “Alright don’t seem too keen on the idea.”
Your shrug, not really wanting to talk about the real reason you can’t find any excitement. “Sorry. I’ll go with you. It’ll be fun.”
“What’s wrong?” Her voice is gentle, and her hand is on your arm, and it’s so reassuring, so warm, your skin sings under her palm.
You talk to your feet as you tell Rose what Dameron said. “-and he - it was horrible, Rose,” you sniffle, tears springing into your eyes again. “And I - we’ve never got on, he’s, y’know, annoying, we’re always bickering, but I just - I never thought that he actually - it’s my fault he’s injured, and maybe he does hate me and-”
You stop your tirade and for the first time, just let yourself cry and breathe for a second. Rose’s arm comes around your shoulder and you lean into it, slightly. “It’s fine - I mean I never liked him anyway, now I can just move straight into the dislike section, maybe even hate I dunno.”
“Ok you should know that that’s not healthy first of all.” Rose’s voice floats out from above your head. “Second, I’m sure he didn’t mean it, and anyway, who cares what he thinks? Leia thought you did well. And third, this is all the more reason to do something on our day off!”
You give a weak chuckle and nod. You spent the rest of the night, playing cards and chatting about lighter topics until both of your eyes start to burn and you make your way to bed.  
***
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Chapter 2
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