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#god I miss flying so much but I still need time to recover before I start again 😔

eternalizms · 2 months

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CLOWN-FISH ↳ SPENCER REID

ﾟ . ．・゜゜・・゜゜・．

WARNINGSꜜ drug use, pot, stoner!spencer, general fluff.

SUMMARYꜜ you come home to a very high, and very clingy spencer after a long week. (wc; 946)

AUTHORS NOTEꜜ i cannot get stoner!spencer out of my head for the life of me, so please enjoy my desperate attempt of putting my ideas into a drabble of sorts! this is my first time writing and posting, so it may not be the best ahh! i understand this isn't for everyone, feel free to send me any reqs!

ﾟ . ．・゜゜・・゜゜・．

THE FIRST TIME spencer tried weed went exactly how you'd expect it to. he was seventeen, halfway through completing his first doctorate in mathematics. the dingy leather couch felt rough against the skin on his hands. he anxiously looked about the room. he felt awkward, and out of place, listening to the music that was playing from a speaker god knows where. for about a month before, spencer had been overwhelmed with a sense that he was missing something in his life. he had decided, after careful calculation, that he was missing a sense of rebellion, that most people his age seemed to have.

spencer was handed the lit joint, he had never smoked before, but it couldn't be that hard. the sweet-ish scent of pot filled the room, his fingers brought it towards his lips as his eyes stayed focused on the joint. he inhaled in, feeling the harsh smoke immediately hit his throat. his face contorted funnily as he spluttered and coughed out, sending a cloud of smoke flying out his mouth. it took him a moment to recover, taking a few deep breaths in between. after collecting himself, he had inhaled another toke, still slightly perplexed at how harsh the smoke is on his throat, but pleased with how being rebellious felt so far.

his shoulders slumped as he leaned back into the sofa, enjoying the high taking over. from that moment on, he was in love. his brain seemed to finally slow, it was a refreshing break. he felt present in the moment for the first time in his life. spencer spent most evening of his weekends in college; stoned. of course, being in the BAU means he doesn't get to enjoy it nearly as much as he used to, but sometimes on an odd week off he rarely gets, he reminds himself of his college days - by getting high.

this was one of these weeks. spencer was slumped against the sofa, a nature documentary about clown-fish buzzing in the background. the key in the door turned with a familiar click, letting him know you're home. you stand in the doorway, a small frown playing on your lips when you realise spencer isn't at the door to greet you like usual. you walk into the living-room with a pout, wondering if he hadn't heard you?. not noticing spencer's current state, you plop yourself down on the sofa beside spencer; sighing with sweet relief as you slid your shoes off.

you notice the silence after a minute, turning your attention towards spencer. you immediately know. with a small chuckle, your hand reaches towards his face, fingertips skimming his jaw as you take him in with your eyes; wishing for his eidetic memory in that moment, so you wouldn't forget it. his hair was slightly out of place, perfectly accompanying the sleepy look across his glossy bloodshot eyes, it was a delicious sight.

your hands find their way to the back of his hair, fingers raking through the curls. he leans into your touch, closing his eyes in content with a low hum. your touch felt addicting to him. clingy was an understatement. he scooted himself closer to you.

"missed you." a light mumble left his lips as he peered towards you , head resting on your shoulder as you sat behind him. spencer's need to just be near you was overwhelming. he sits up, slightly hazed from his high - only difference being the stupid grin on his face. he sat back against the sofa, hands sliding up your thighs as he guides you onto his lap. his head hangs low in the crook of your neck, arms snaking up your torso - simply holding you as close as he possibly can.

spencer inhaled your perfume in with a happy sigh, nuzzling his head into your neck closer. your chest vibrated against him as you laughed ever-so sweetly, hands sliding back into place in his hair. he was in total heaven. your skin felt on fire as his fingers slid past the seam of your shirt, his hands expertly kneading up and down your torso, as spencer held you. he debated telling you a super fun clown-fish fact. he finally pulled his head up. he went to speak, mouth opening; but no words came out.

a light whine left his lips as he watched you laugh, head falling back into the crook of your neck. he struggled to keep up his huff the more you playfully teased him about his IQ now being significantly lower. after a minute, you cooed softly - a single small laugh escaping, pulling him in for a hug.

fortunately, no words were needed as you both settled down for the evening, eager hands grabbing a fluffy white blanket and chucking it over the both of your laps. spencer's inevitable munchies had resulted in a bowl of popcorn sat between you, legs intertwined. his arm draped over your shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world. every so often his hand would reach into the bowl and grab an outrageously large handful of popcorn; before his best attempt at fitting it all in his mouth. your laugh filled the cosy room, unable to stop staring at the trainwreck currently happening in front of your eyes. you fit in his arm like a puzzle piece, the scent of his cologne mixed with weed emanating off his shirt.

you pay more attention to the nature documentary playing. spencer; now a lot more awake, began telling you the clownfish facts he suddenly remembered again. "clownfish have an average life-span of six to ten years in the wild, they are also all born male.".

ﾟ . ．・゜゜・・゜゜・．

#୨୧ spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #stoner!spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble

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kookieswan · 1 year

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Nocturne of Waves - Part VII

SeaCreature!Yoongi x Heiress!Reader (f)

Word Count: 2k

Genre: SeaCreature AU, Mermaid AU, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Angst because of Jimin’s dramatic ass.

Warnings: Suggestive content!, though nothing too heavy. We all know Yoongi is a curious and very blunt fish man.

Summary: Cuddles quickly turn into panic and then even more panic when you return to the beach house.

Notes: it’s been 84 long long years. ANOTHER present for my lovely @parkdatjimin because honestly she deserves the world! This takes place directly after the last updates, I recommend rereading it ♥️

This is from the Nocturne of Waves series. Find the Masterlist here! 🌊

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“Jimin? Minnie? You’re back already?” Standing in the sliding door, you try your best not to freak out at your best friends very disheveled state. He’s laying on the couch, tears streaming down his face, phone clutched tightly in his hand like it’s a lifeline. It’s not very often he allows himself to be seen with tear streaked cheeks.

“I-I met with Tae at the coffee shop and I thought things were going really well but then he said we probably shouldn’t persue anything because of distance and-“ Yoongi slides around you and into the house, eyes wondered as he looks between the two of you. Shrugging, you try to process what exactly he’s talking about because who…?

“Tae…? OH the guy from your internship? Wait, he’s here? I thought he was going to stay in the city…” Jimin let’s out something that sounds like a sob as you ply with your locket, sitting up and sniffling into his poor poor Chanel jacket. Yoongi remains quiet by your side, tentacles slowly slithering around your legs mindlessly. You don’t miss the fondness in his eyes as he watched you caress the locket.

“He decided not to and we’ve been talking since I got here last week and oh my god he’s coming over right now I’m so sorry.” It makes sense, Jimin seemed to be rather infatuated with the guy… And hey, maybe it would be a good thing because his significant others have always been- wait.

“He’s what?!” The blond haired man looks sheepish then, cringing a little as he tries to smile at you with big puppy eyes. You finally shuffle forward, kicking off your sandals and closing the door behind you. So this is it huh? The way you get outed to the fbi?

“He said he’s only a minute out. I’ve been sharing my location with him in case Yoongi eats me and my corpse needs to be recovered. He said that he thinks we’re soulmates and he said we wouldn’t work because he was nervous and I couldn’t say no!” His words come out quicker and quicker as he tried to explain, hands flailing as he stands from the couch and rushes toward you. Min grabs your hands, and of course, you let him because wow he’s a bit of a mess right now. Poor guy.

Turning to Yoongi as Jimin continues to ramble and squeezing your hands to death, you give him a strained smile. He looks back with slitted eyes, clearly not happy with the idea of someone else intruding. If you remember correctly, he almost ate Jimin whole and that one’s still up for debate.

“… Yoongi. My lovely, beautiful mate. We’re going to have to retire to my room, at least for a little while while Jimin and Tae talk, yeah?” Jimin nods his head, tears falling as he does so. Rolling your eyes at his dramatics, you rip your hands out of his and wipe the tears away, cooing and pinching his cheeks on the process.

Your mate grumbles to himself as Jimin pulls away with a squeak, flying back to the couch to grab his phone. Not thinking much of it, you grab a stray tentacle that’s wrapped around your wrist and pet it a few times like a cat. A calm Yoongi is kind of like a cat and that’s the only Yoongi you need right now. Fish cat mate man.

“I don’t even know what to say!? He seemed sure that he didn’t want to try things out and fuck I’m so stressed-“ Yoongi slides forward a little bit before raising his hand into the air. Jimin stops, eyes wide and teary as he stares back at where Yoongi sits by your side.

“I can eat him for you human. Say the word and it will be done.” You slowly crane your head to look at your boyfriend (teehee), processing what he just said. That… Is actually kind of a kind thing for him to offer. It almost makes you shed a tear.

“… Thank you but I think I’ll try talking first.” Yoongi just nods, probably terribly sad that he won’t be getting any human sushi tonight. You can’t say you mind too much however; scrubbing blood out of your furniture wouldn’t be a fun pastime activity.

“I’ll go sit in my room with Yoongi to give you some privacy but like. Realize it won’t be very private Min so please don’t have sex on my couch thanks.” Minnie looks scandalized (which is hilarious) and ready to fight, cheeks puffing out right as lights flash through the blinds. It seems your needy unwanted guest has arrived.

“He’s here! Go, go!” Tugging on the tentacle, you make your way to your room with Yoongi in tow as he snarls. He follows behind not too happily, hopefully not leaving too much water or sand in his wake. It’s fine, you need to deep clean the house anyway.

Not a moment after you close the door, you hear the front door fling open and hopefully not break. Jimin gasps loudly, a deep voice calling out for him desperately. Interesting, you wonder what he’s got himself into this time.

“Jimin, my sweet cherub, I was so wrong.” It’s a little muted but the man is so loud that it sounds like the door is open. You plop on the bed, trying not to giggle as this Tae guy’s words boom through the house. Yoongi slithers up next to you, nudging you to move forward a bit as he climbs into the bed properly.

“My passion for you could never be muddled, even if I tried to do so with every breath. Please accept my apologies.” The giggles don’t stay at bay then, but you keep them soft and Yoongi situated himself behind you, tentacles on either side of your body as you lean back into him a bit.

“Damn, I think he’s being courted by Hamlet.” Your mate doesn’t say anything, bringing his arms up to wrap around your waist. You allow him to pull you back further until your flush against him, his skin a pleasant form of cold in the humid heat.

“This new human wishes to court your human?” It’s whispered directly into your ear, making you shiver a little in response. The comparison is true enough, so you confirm that that’s likely the case.

“I believe so. I’m pretty sure Jimin’s been glued to his phone all this week because of him. We’ll have to have a nice dinner or something to congratulate him.” Maybe you’ll take him out? You could always bring Yoon back some food. It’s likely that he wouldn’t mind some alone time at this point, the house is always full nowadays.

It’s quiet for a while as you try to listen in, their talking now quiet enough where you can’t hear much. Yoongi trails a hand up and down your arm gently, slowly moving until he reaches your hip. He keeps his hand there, flexing it every so often as you breath steadily and try to stay unaffected by his touches.

“Is human courting very different?” Is it? It had to be, or at least it seems to be. His kind of courting seems relatively straightforward and humans, well… If you’ve learned anything throughout your life, it’s that people all have very different outlooks when it comes to love.

“I think… I think It really depends on the human. Some people genuinely wish to find the love of their life, some only want something casual, and some really only care about sex. I wouldn’t say there’s a single way to define it.” Like on the beach, he nuzzled closer into your neck, content to stay there and breath you in. It’s normal now, Yoongi taking any chance he can get to touch you or explore different parts of your body.

“… And you?” His quiet words make you pause, curious if he’ll be unhappy with your answer. Humming a bit, you sink further into his chest, slowly tracing patterns into the skin of his pale arm, quietly admiring some of the iridescent scales there.

“I’ve seen other people before casually, it was never serious though. I haven’t been romantically involved in a long while.. Well, until now. I guess we’re the equivalent to a boyfriend and girlfriend.” There’s no reason to lie, it would be dumb. Yoongi’s quiet for a minute, but the soft purring still continues, and from that alone you know he isn’t very bothered by the confession.

“… I have not ever had a mate before. I would be called your… Boyfriend? Interesting, I would think it would be called boylover or something of the sort. Humans are so odd.” Laughing breathily, you kind of have to agree. It would make sense but humans in general really don’t make any sense. Yoongi leans forward suddenly, esr turned towards the door, lips against your cheek. They brush against your skin as he speaks, and you have to push down the want to turn your head to meet them.

“You mentioned the two of them having sex earlier, and that it is sometimes the only think humans will seek from others.” Nodding your head, you crane yourself slightly so you can look back at him. He doesn’t look troubled at all really, more so curious as his pale eyes stare back into your own.

“The concept is odd to me. My kind do not intimately mate with anyone other than our true mates..” It’s not an odd concept at all, it’s actually something you can get behind. At this point, you can’t even imagine trying to swing casual hookups regularly. Hell, you can’t imagine perusing anyone other than your fish man.

Grabbing a piece of his pretty long hair, you twist it around your fingers, deep in though as you settle back into your spot. So if he’s never had a mate before, and his kind only get intimate with their mates, then… Ah.

“So you’ve never had sex before?” He shakes his head, his hair pulling on your finger. It makes you smile a little, his willingness to share things about himself with you so freely. He slides his hand from your hip to your stomach, stretching his fingers over the naked skin there, his own skin cold and clammy.

“I have not. When mating season comes around I take care of myself. However, I can say with certainty that I would be happy to mate with you and look forward to the occasion.” Mate…? He wants to mate mate. He wants to have sex. Okay, okay yeah that’s something couples do but that brings up the question of how because as you’ve never seen his co-

“The- the occasion?!” It comes out a little choked up and hasty, and you clear your throat to try to correct. He has the audacity to laugh, something that rumbles out of his chest, the tone warm as he slides his face back into the juncture of your shoulder and neck.

“It is usually one of the final steps of the courting process. Once we present all our gifts and become one through mind, we can also become one through our bodies.” It’s an automatic response for your body to heat up, both from embarrassment and… Other things. Your mind runs wild with different pictures, a hand coming up to clutch the locket that sits prettily on your chest.

“That sounds, um, nice. Yes. Very nice. Ahahaha. Ha. So what’s it like under the sea?” Yoongi doesn’t get a chance to reply, an exclamation of joy coming from the front end of the house. Taking a deep breath, you cuddle closer to your man, images of unholy things running through your head as Jimin’s loud laughs ring out in the background.

“Mmh, no need to be nervous my pretty Treasure. Rest now, we will talk more in the morning.”

#nocturne of waves #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #bts x you #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts fluff #bts angst #bts mermaid au

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canary0 · 10 months

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July 7th - Dracula 2023

Transcription of a call from Dr. Dominika Stankiewicz to Miss Mina Murray

MM: "Good afternoon, Mina Murray speaking...?"

Dr.: "Ah, Miss Murray. I am glad we were able to reach you. I am very glad I was able to reach you. I am Dr. Stankiewicz from Bistriţa County Hospital."

MM: "Bistriţa... In Romania? Oh my god, was Jonathan hurt? It's been so long since he's been in contact aside from some strange letters..."

Dr.: "He is recovering from exhaustion, scrapes and bruises, exposure. He is not fully cognizant, I think, though. He has called for you many times, and was able to at least provide your name as a contact. I know the distance-"

MM: "Do you have the address? I'll fly out right away."

Dr.: [sighs and chuckles] "Yes. We are at Bulevardul Independenței 19 in Bistriţa. We have much to discuss, but for now, he has called for you many times, and I think he would be best served by your presence in this recovery."

MM: "Of course! Of course. Let me look... I can be there in two days, I just need to pack and speak with some people."

Dr.: "Of course. We will give him our best care in the mean time."

MM: "Thank you! See you soon."

Dr.: "I look forward to meeting you Miss Murray. Have a good afternoon."

MM: "You, too."

[Call Ends]

Discord conversation between Miss Lucy Westenra and Miss Mina Murray

Mina: Sorry, dear, I may have to delay our visit... or I may have to bring an additional guest.

Lucy: Another guest? What happened? Is something going on?

Mina: I heard from Jonathan! Well, I heard about him. He's in a hospital in Romania. After those strange letters I received from him, I'm really worried. I need to go out there.

Lucy: OMG, go! I'll be here! You have a couple of weeks before you were even coming - come then and bring him! You know we have plenty of room.

Mina: You are a doll, Lucy. I'll keep you updated.

Lucy: Send pics!

Mina: ... Of the hospital???

Lucy: Of wherever you're going in Romania!

Mina: All right. I'll be traveling by train anyway, so I'll send some on the way. I'll have some wait time between stops.

(A/N: The joy of cell phones. I would have had him leave from the closest town to where they got off the trail, but he would suspect that's where Drac took the kids from, and he was still thinking coherently when he left. So, off to Bistrita he goes. There's no way they wouldn't try to get a contact right away, too.

So, off Mina goes early!)

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #dracula 2023 #fanfic #just for fun #modern retelling #mina murray #lucy westenra #and an oc?!#what madness is this

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pandemoniumskey · 2 years

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Believe Me - Sirius Black X (fem)Reader

Sirius Black was out of Azkaban... You reread the front page of the Daily Prophet for the seventh time, looking at the wild face of the man you once loved so dearly. No, the man you STILL loved so dearly. It couldn’t be true and yet here his face was raving on the front page of the mornings paper.

Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach: the first thing you thought of was Harry. The boy who knew nothing of what that man did, the boy who would soon be faced with the tragedy of loss and heartache and even possibly fear. Was he safe? Would they catch him before another tragedy happened? Could you stand between Sirius and Harry if the situation arose and hurt him? Or would your love for the man fail you and cause Harry harm?

These thoughts did not last long however as a small owl came flying into your house. You took the note from the owl and it waited there for you to read it.

You nearly dropped the small piece of parchment on the floor. You knew that hand writing well.

(Y/N),

I didn’t give Voldemort James and Lily’s location. I wasn’t the secret keeper. I have a lot of explaining to do, I know this. Please, please, please allow me to meet with you so I can explain it to you face to face.

I love you so much. Send your reply through this owl.

Padfoot.

You didn’t know what to do. This had to be some sort of trap. Your heart was racing a million kilometres a minute and your brain was telling you it was a bad idea. Yet, your heart yearned to see Sirius again. It yearned to feel his love again.

You had never recovered from that horrible loss. You never fell in love again and you still often had dreams where he was telling you that James and Lily were never murdered and that everything was all right.

You knew the second half of that was never going to happen.

You wrestled with your mind and your heart. Did you meet him and potentially die, or did you not meet him and allow your heart to shatter again knowing you had the chance to see him and did not take it.

You made up your mind, taking a spare piece of parchment from your desk and writing a simple message on it.

My address never changed. Come after dark.

Were you really going through with this? Were you that crazy and desperate? The answer was yes. You craved his touch and the sight of him so much that you would risk dying for it.

You thought a moment longer before tying the note to the small owl and allowed it to leave. Your heart was thundering in your chest. Did you just make a big mistake?

***

You heard the tap on your door before you even had time to settle in for the night. You opened it and saw a great black dog standing on the front step.

“Get inside quick.” He scampered in quickly and you closed and locked the door, taking out your wand and placing a simple spell on the door to keep it from being penetrated so easily.

“Get talking Sirius, you have 30 minutes. If you haven’t convinced me of your innocence by then, I am calling the ministry,” you muttered before he even had time to transform back into a human.

“Oh God, (Y/N), I’ve missed you so much,” he said through a sigh. He looked ill and wild, but his eyes still sparkled with the love you remembered he held for you. Your resolve almost cracked. Almost.

“Times ticking.”

“All right, all right, where to start?”

And he told you everything. How he had convinced his best friend to change keepers to Pettigrew at the last minute and it was he, who betrayed them. How he had gone after him in grief and in rage to actually kill him and how it had failed miserably. His capture and confession to the ministry and how he meant James and not Peter, “in a way, I am guilty for his death, I should never have done that.”

He eventually moved into how her least favourite friend was stil alive and living with your godsons best friend Ron. He showed you the evidence and you were shocked. A pit of rage emerged inside you and you felt that wild need to kill Pettigrew yourself.

Finally, he told you of his plans to kill him and you silently agreed that it needed to be done.

In the end, you found you were sitting on the edge of your seat, holding your breath. Tears streaming from your eyes.

“All these years I thought I lost you forever,” you said quietly. “All these years of thinking you had them killed and it wasn’t you.”

Sirius looked at you, his eyes were pleading, “so, you believe me?”

You nodded and the relief flooded his face. He came towards you kneeling between your knees. The wild look gone, instead love took its place.

“Is it okay if I kissed you? I have been dreaming of your touch for a very long time,” his voice was a whisper.

“Can you believe I’ve wanted the same?”

He chuckled and his lips soon met yours in a soft loving kiss.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part two, yay or nay?

#sirius x y/n #sirius #sirius x you #sirius orion black #sirius x reader #post azkaban sirius #harry potter #harrypotter #x reader #animagus #escaped prisoner

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incorrectskyrimquotes · 1 year

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The Thalmor have taken The Rift, Falkreath, and The Reach

Their strategy is becoming obvious. They're hoping to encircle Skyrim and close in on her. It comes to light though that instead of Solitude, they plan to march on Whiterun next. Word of this blazes through Skyrim, and everyone prepares for the battle of their lives.

Eryn is mostly healed by this point, and can move and fight again. Even after waking up, she had to take some more time to recover and heal. And Thieves Guild had been more than helpful and generous (something she finds amusingly ironic). But when she hears Whiterun is next, she decides whether or not she's ready is irrelevant. She has to be ready.

In Whiterun, Ulfric is preparing as best he can. The Thalmor were spotted marching towards the city, some of them on giant birds of all things. Rocs typically don't belong in Skyrim, the cold being too much for the delicate wings, but the Thalmor have decided to not take any chances. With the three holds they have under their "control" all actively trying to rebel and disrupt, they've decided to become even more brutal in their tactics.

Ralof and Hadvar are leading the defense. Many former imperial soldiers had decided to fight under the banner for Skyrim. It's not about Ulfric, it's not about the Stormcloaks, it's about defending their homeland. They both invoke a silent prayer for, at the very least, Whiterun's safety. Neither of them pray to the gods, though. Hadvar asks Rikke's spirit to please watch over them, and Ralof asks Eryn's spirit to be right there when he dies. So he can at least see her again.

Only one of their prayers is heard and answered.

The Thalmor attack. The battle is bloody and messy and brutal and dark. Their mages have called upon storms, trying obscure the battlefield. But the defense is strong, too. It seems almost every capable warrior who could answer the call has, and is pushing the Thalmor back.

One particular Thalmor is on a Frost Roc, carefully weaving through the raging sky. He rains down ice and electricity onto every poor soul under him, his great bird screeching as he does so. But the echo of the cry returns... wrong.

Ralof looks up. "Dragon." He says simply, knowing that noise by heart. He tries to find the beast in the clouds, seeing only shadows of wings. He doesn't see what the dragon is carrying. But he does see the brilliant flash of purple. The bird seems to stumble, falling backwards before righting itself, barely missing the ground.

"That's the last thing we need." Ulfric grumbles, before giving a heavy sigh.

In the clouds, a different conversation is going on.

"This is it, Durnehviir."

"Geh, Qahnaarin. Dilon daar nuz." (Yes, Vanquisher. But this is dangerous (dilon literally translating into "fatal".))

"Oh, I know." Eryn slowly stands up from her position on his neck, even with the undead being still soaring through the air. "But what are we gonna do? Die again?" For the first time in months, since waking up, she actually smiles. She looks up at the storming sky. "Lok vah koor!"

The clouds dissipate, the rain fades in the air, the battlefield is left illuminated by the brilliant blue of the sky. And everyone now has a clearer look at the dragon... and he's not like any other dragon anyone has ever seen.

"That's like if a draugr fucked a dragon." Galmar spits, taking the blade of his axe from the face of a battlemage.

"Eloquent as always, my friend." Ulfric replies with a bit of laugh, sending some poor Thalmor flying into another.

"I know that dragon." Ralof whispers, staring up at it. "That's... That's hers."

A small figure suddenly comes flying off of the undead, sickly dragon. The person has jumped from dragon, directly onto the thalmor frost roc, deciding to fight the rider up close. The bird spins around, trying to shake her off. The woman only ends up clinging on, but throws the rider to the ground, allowing him to fall to his death. She then runs her elven rapier, the red glow shining even from the sky, through the bird's skull. As the bird goes down, she becomes translucent.

She lands on the ground, just seconds before the effect seems to wear off. But she doesn't even seem tired, nor hurt, she's as alive as she's ever been.

Even in the middle of battle, of war, almost everyone seems to freeze. She's dead, she's supposed to be dead. Scouts from all sides had reported on her being dead, even with her body being absent from the site of her demise. She looks back at them.

She could have made a snappy, witty comment. Something like "Sorry I'm late" or "Started without me?", but she can't. She's silent as she locks eyes with Ralof, tears streaming down his face. And then he runs at her.

She catches him, but they both collapse to the ground in a combined mess of sorrow and joy and relief and fear. They cling onto each other, both absolutely terrified the other will fade away if they let go.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Eryn whispers, she can't even imagine what she put him through. "I'm sorry, I'm right here, I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't apologize, don't ever apologize for being alive." Ralof sobs back, holding onto her impossibly tighter. "Just stay, stay with me, please. Don't ever leave me again, don't ever go where I can't follow. Even if this is a dream, just stay with me."

"Always, forever." She pulls back, just so they can see each other's faces, both awash with endless tears. He simply nods, and she pulls him back in, holding him as close as she can. She looks up at the people now surrounding the two of them, trying to give her and her husband space, but also overjoyed that Eryn is alive.

"Hadvar..." Eryn whispers, his presence surprising her the most.

He smiles at her, and kneels down, putting a hand on Ralof to offer his own comfort. "Someone had to look after this one while you were gone." Slowly, she and Hadvar both help Ralof back to his feet, and he finally seems able to let go over her. Though he never takes his eyes off of her.

"Eryn!" Of all the people Eryn had expected to be tackled by after coming back to life, it wasn't Galmar. Galmar Stone-Fist lifts her up in a huge bear hug... and it's kind of hurting. A lot.

"Great to see you too, Galmar," She wheezes out. "But you're gonna rebreak my ribs if you don't put me down!" After he does so, she gasps in a bit.

"You're alive." Eryn looks up to see Ulfric Stormcloak crying... it's only two small streaks, he's not outright sobbing as Ralof had been, but he's clearly also quite happy to see her. "Thank the divines. You're alive."

Eryn wants to respond to the overwhelming love she's being shown, to now seeing these people after so long, but the sound of war snaps her out of the moment. She turns to face the war, Redwing gripped tight in her right hand, a swirl of flames in her left.

She doesn't say anything, nothing heroic or funny or determined. As she always does, as she always has, she simply rushes into the battle, and fights with the knowledge that Skyrim depends on her.

#second great war au #also i am making up dragon grammer (<- its literally so clearly based on latin (a language i do speak))

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pornaddictionsymptoms · 2 years

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10 LIES YOU TELL YOURSELF ABOUT PORN

For those quietly battling porn addiction symptoms, the fight can be brutal.

Multiple relapses over the years, the guilt, betrayal of loved ones, the erectile dysfunction the jump into acting out in real life

It’s a rough journey, alright!

Sometimes, its easier to deal with everything by unconsciously telling ourselves lies. These lies grow and overtime turn out to be the greatest hindrance to our progress.

This post will help you identify the most common lies we tell ourselves about our porn use.

1) POWERLESS LIE: I CAN’T STOP WATCHING PORN. I CAN’T QUIT.

This another lie and a red flag for low self-esteem. Most frequently told when you feel that you are completely powerless to control your addiction.

You CAN quit. You are more powerful than you imagine. Perhaps you grew with some rough experiences that knocked you down a few notches. You can still rise.

Willpower is a muscle- it gets tired, but it will get you far enough to see the mountaintop in this tough climb. Once you have a glimpse at freedom, you will do whatever it takes to get there!

A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind. – Elly Roselle.

2) DOWNPLAY LIE: I MUST HAVE RECOVERED.

This!

This was one of the biggest obstacles in my porn addiction journey.

I would quit porn and masturbation for a few weeks and feel amazing then the thoughts would begin to slowly creep in well, I haven’t felt the urge in so long- I must be fine! Phew- thank God it’s not an addiction!

Well, guess what downplaying led to?

I fell right back into the porn and masturbation cycle.

Another variation of this lie occurs when you quit watching porn, but then try to masturbate. To your surprise, you find that it’s almost impossible to do so without watching porn. Back to porn again. Both are lies we tell ourselves to rationalize the addiction.

3) WHITEWASH LIE: I WAS DRUNK., I WAS HIGH, IT WAS RIGHT THERE.

In my college days, excessive drinking and smoking was a one-way ticket to the masturbation station.

No matter how much I wanted to quit, putting myself under the influence invariably led to a relapse. For those trying to give up porn, the effects of alcohol and drugs on the process of quitting cannot be emphasized enough.

Once your inhibitions are lowered, or certain senses chemically heightened, the last vestiges of restraint fly out the window.

4) MINIMIZE LIE: JUST 5 MINUTES.

I’ll only look at this anime porn on Tumblr for 5 minutes.

Two hours later and 30 Firefox tabs later, you’re exhausted and disgusted from your porn binge.

The time trap always escalates. You play down and attempt to minimize the actual amount of time you know you will spend on porn.

5) INFLATION LIE: I’M STRESSED

I feel like crap, so I deserve to watch porn. It’s been a crazy stressful day, screw it, I need this.

Another common lie where you inflate a rough situation into an excuse to binge on porn.

You haven’t developed alternate means of coping with stress, so when you experience above-average stress, you automatically return to the thing that soothes you.

Solution: Work on developing positive habits that you can turn to the moment your triggers kick in. Meditation has worked very well for me.

6) IMPLICATION LIE: MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER ISN’T INTO WHAT I WANT.

My girlfriend doesn’t give blowjobs and she doesn’t like anal.

Yeap- I used that one too, and it nearly cost me my relationship.

It’s easy to blame or implicate someone for your porn habits. An easy, but a weak lie.Its also one of the top lies we tell ourselves before, during and after we act out porn fantasies in real life.

In our program Porn Reboot Intensive, I emphasize that taking responsibility is among the first steps to giving up pornography.

7) PRIVILEGE LIE: I’M A LATE BLOOMER.

I’m a late bloomer, and I missed out. I married early, that’s why I’m acting out. Wow. I feel like I’ve used every lie so far!

As a guy who teaches men how to meet and attract women, I’ve noticed that this lie is most common among the “Get Girls” crowd in the community.

Men who gain success later on in life develop confidence and improve self-esteem through self-improvement or career success tend to develop a sense of entitlement when justifying their porn or sex addiction. If your habit of having with women outside of your relationship is fueled by porn, it’s time to start cutting back.

8) STANDARD LIE: A MAN’S BIOLOGY DICTATES THAT HE SHOULD SLEEP WITH MANY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN AS POSSIBLE, OR EVERY GUY DOES IT.

I am guilty of this lie as well. While the statement is true, painting the picture of porn as a normal, standard part of a man’s lifestyle as an excuse for porn addiction constitutes lying to yourself.

Not every man watches porn and masturbates on a daily basis. In fact, some of the most accomplished men in history stayed far away from pornography.

9) NON-ACCEPTANCE LIE: I DON’T WATCH PORN ANYMORE.

I used this lie for too long. My rationalization was that spending the same amount of time that I used to spend on porn browsing Instagram for chicks in bikinis was obviously not watching porn.

The reboot process is sabotaged the moment you replace your addiction to porn with something else. Its the equivalent of someone addicted to cigarettes trying to quit by switching to e-cigarettes. It doesn’t work.

Quitting porn by rebooting involves completely avoiding and isolating yourself from any habits that that may potentially lead to a trigger.

10) NEGATING LIE: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PORN, OR PLAYING OUT MY ADDICTION IN REAL LIFE.

If you say this, but one day you are attracted to women, and the next you’ve had sex with more sex workers or prostitutes from Craigslist than actual women, you’re lying to yourself.

Porn use escalates as our brain craves more stimulation. Negating the effects of pornography is the singularly most devastating lie you can tell yourself.

What are some of the lies not included here that YOU frequently tell yourself?

I’d love to know. Leave your comments below.

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Xiao: Fainting HCS

FUCK. I FORGOT TO POST THIS EARLIER. AHHHH. I HAVE WORK IN LIKE 2 MINUTES SO I’LL BE BACK TO REPLY TO EVERYONE.

Hey anon! So sorry it took me forever to finish writing this but good luck if you’re planning on pulling Xiao. I really wanted to finish writing this fic as an offering to the gacha gods that c1 xiao wants to bless me (even tho that’s not gonna happen). But good luck to everyone rolling today^^.

Disclaimer: I have not watch anything about Xiao because my hype can only take so much. This was written before 1.3. So if I get anything wrong or I’m missing something. That’s why.

---

Can I just say how far Xiao has come in my writing since the first part of the semi series? Sniff, feel like we’re making character development for a character that’s not even out yet. I can’t wait for mihoyo to take my HCS and rip them apart.

Xiao Semi Series

[ Friendship ] [ Falling in Love ] [ Cuddles ] [ Protective ] [ Affection ] [ Jealously ] [ Opposites Attract ] [ String Of Fate (Soulmate) ]

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji@mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @snowy224 @mayumintsu @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @legionqueensav @eva-0403 @youaskedfurret

Xiao: Fainting HCS

Instant panic mode engaged. If you’ve ever doubted his adepti power of swiftness you’re about to be mistaken. He’s noticed that you seem a bit out of it but brushed it off as you being tired from your recent journey. If there was anything bothering you, you would tell him. But as he turned around to greet you back, it seems like time is slowing down for him. He sees how your eyes glazed over and become unfocused. The muscles in your body snap and you drop to the ground. He can feel his blood run cold as past memories that have been waiting to jump at him suddenly claw at him but he doesn’t even register them. He’s already running towards you.

He’s already caught you in his arms before you can even meet the wooden floor. His brain is racing as he quickly checks your pulse to make sure you didn’t suffer from a heart attack or a curse. He makes a quick search over your body to check for any injuries, he can already feel the red hot iron of anger fill his system at the thought of someone trying to take advantage of you or threaten you. He’s usually logical in these types of situations, even the death of Rex Lapis didn’t shock him this much, but he’s been battling his conflicting feelings ever since he met you. But now that he’s finally accepted you and himself, he wouldn’t know what to do if anything happened to you. His mind flashes to Guizhong before he shakes away the thought.

It doesn’t occur to him that you might be sick as he tries to shake you awake. Whatever teachings Guizhong and Morax have taught him fly out the window as he holds you so close to his chest, he’s pretty sure his grip on you is bruising. He knew mortal souls weren’t as strong as adepti and staying around one might cause sickness or even worse- death. Was this his fault? He can feel the drop in his stomach as he tries to reign in his emotions and powers, not here.

Verr almost screams when Xiao breaks the wooden ceilings and lands in front of her. She’s scared that there was a monster outbreak or something was wrong with Xiao before she notices your passed out form in his arms. As much as she likes to joke around and thinks your relationship with Xiao is cute, she knows that if anything came to seriously harm you she wouldn’t able to calm Xiao before he goes on a rampage. You mean so much to him and he hasn’t opened his heart to anyone except you.

She can tell he’s nearly past his breaking point as he looks at her with dilated eyes as he asks, no commands, her to help you. It’s such whiplash to her. Xiao’s always been polite and reserved that she almost forgets he used to be a demon slaying Yaksha, but this isn’t the time for her to worry about that. She quickly leads him to the backroom since there’s no way Xiao wouldn’t bite any hand that comes near you. Bless Verr’s heart since this isn’t the first time she’s had to handle Xiao’s outbreaks that she manages to save face and contact a doctor that was staying at the inn to look at you. She does feel a bit bad for the doctor who looks like he’s about to piss himself in fear as Xiao growls and watches the doctors every move with piercing yellow eyes.

Xiao is still wary when the doctor and Verr try to calm him down and examine you more closely, always flinching back whenever their hands get too close to you, letting out a dangerous hiss whenever there’s the slightest twitch of discomfort in your face when the doctor feels your heated forehead. As soon as the doctor concludes that you’ve been sick for the past few days and your body just needs to heal itself and recharge, the tension on Xiao’s shoulder loosens and the suffocating aura that’s been filling the room slowly filters out. Verr can’t help but sigh in relief but can’t bring herself to scold Xiao for breaking the inns roof as she watches him look over your form with worried eyes as he softly nudges your cheek. He’s still holding you but his grip has loosen slightly as he rests his forehead against yours. He breathes a sigh of relief as he rubs small circles in your hand. Xiao’s never been the most affectionate or shown to be the most caring but you’ve seriously scared him. She quietly leaves him be and closes the door as she begins to prepare to fix the damages.

Xiao never leaves your side as he waits for you to wake up. He can’t help but berate himself for not confronting you. The doctor said you would be fine but he can’t but imagine your body falling in a more violent scene. He quickly shakes those thoughts away as he paces around the room, sits besides you, then goes back to pacing. Usually he would go on a walk or beat his aggression out but he doesn’t want to leave you alone should you awake early.

Xiao doesn’t ramble about his day while you’re asleep, instead he just observes your features and the small movements you make to remind him that you’re okay. How your chest moves up and down as you breath or how your eyes sometimes scrunch in sleep. You’ve made him almost trip when you did it the first time since he thought you were waking up. He can’t help but think back to his fellow Yaksha’s and what they would say if they saw the way he was acting now.

Since his panic attack has mostly subsided he’s found himself growing more curious. He’s still worried about you but he’s managed to reason with himself that you’re okay, just sick which he’s going to scold you a bit for when you awake, so he softly brushes his fingers across your face. Before snatching his hand away in embarrassment. What the hell is he doing? Guizhong would slap him sideways if she saw him now. He huffs at himself as he deflates a little and rests his head on the bed beside your head. He’s patient. He will wait when your ready to wake up.

When you suddenly gain consciousness, it feels as if the entire world is weighing you down. You slowly blink open your eyes to see a worried Xiao hovering over you, his hands awkwardly in the air since he’s not sure if it’s okay to touch you.

“How are you feeling?” Xiao asks as his eyes dart all over the place before resting on your face. You’re still a bit out of it but you can tell he must have been really worried. You try to give him a small smile but with how scuffy you feel you can bet it’s not a pretty picture.

“Like I got slammed with one of Zhongli’s meteors,” you tried to laughed before coughing as Xiao quickly pressed a cup of water to your lips. Slowly letting you drink and calm down.

“If you have time to make jokes then you’re alright” Xiao sighs before his features change slightly. His eyes glaze over in concern as a small frown appears. He really does look like a kicked kitten as he slumps over as the stress finally lifts as he feels your hand softly run through his hair.

“Sorry,” you say, he must have been so stressed out while you were passed out for him to look so exhausted. He simply nudges into your hand before turning his face to kiss your palm,

“There’s no need for apologies. I’m...just glad you’re okay,” Xiao mumbles before he’s back to pressing his head into your stomach. You can’t help but smile delicately as you reach over and bring Xiao up with you until he’s lying over you as you hug him gently. There’s a bit of shuffling before you’re able to spoon him as he let’s himself relax after the two day panic attack he just went through.

---

When you’ve fully recovered Xiao seems to hover around you a bit more. Well not a bit, a lot more, but no one has the heart to tell him that. It’s actually kind of adorable seeing the aloof and reserved adepti seem to follow you around like a loss duckling. Making sure you’re okay and you’re not overworking yourself. He still keeps his tough demeanor but you seriously gave him a big scare.

When Zhongli and Childe come over for their weekly visits of tea, they were aware that Xiao had locked himself in a room to watch over you and anyone that even stepped near the door would be skewered with a spear - and Verr would make them pay for the damages (Zhongli) and whatever consequences Xiao saw fit (Childe) - but they are happy to see you’re okay. You all fall back into your usual rhythm of conversation or Childe trying to get a rise out of Xiao while you and Zhongli talk about how lovely the weather’s been.

Zhongli let’s you in on some details that Xiao or Verr never mentioned while Childe and Xiao are fighting about who knows what. How Xiao wouldn’t leave your side or that he resembled a kicked kitten as he nudged your hand when he thought no one was looking. He offers you some medicine herbs to help with exhaustion and to take care of yourself. Likewise, to give Xiao some pain medication on his behalf. You’re one of the few good things in Xiao’s life and he doesn’t want anything bad happening to you.

---

Hmm. I didn’t mean to but I totally believe in the dad zhongli train and I think Zhongli basically just gave you his blessing? Maybe I’m thinking too hard on this haha.

Maybe this is better? Trying to figure out writing styles are hard. Either way, I’m never gonna end up kicking my paragraph HCS habit haha. If you couldn’t tell, I really like feral protective but lowkey vulnerable types (coughrazorcough). Xiao is so OOC at this point I don’t even know how to fix it. Please come home Xiao.

(Edit: FUCK YEAH HE CAME HOME WITH DILUC. WE 90ED THIS BITCH AND IM ABOUT TO MAX HIS TALENTS. ILL SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL (since people have been asking) WHEN I GET BACK FROM WORK)

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baroquebucky · 3 years

Text

touch

soulmate au where when you touch your soulmate you see glimpses of your future with them; the winter soldier touches you and realizes there’s so much more out there

series masterlist // next

part one

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

a/n: hi bffs !! hope u all enjoy this !! i am a sucker for soulmate au’s <3 let me know what u guys think and if u guys want a part 2 !!!

Bucky awoke to the sound of the guards unlocking the door, the metal creaking as Alexander Pierce walked in, waving the guards off to leave the two alone.

“you have another mission today” the man spoke smoothly, bucky getting up from his small bed and staring at the man infront of him, “you need to finish this before it gets out of hand” pierce spoke, eyeing the soldier as he stared blankly ahead.

“Do you understand?” He questioned, bucky looked at him, nodding his head silently as the guards took him out, taking him to get ready for his mission.

He had stopped resisting, he had nothing left, he couldn’t remember much and he had no idea who he even was. Bucky followed the motions, suiting up and grabbing his weapons alongside the other HYDRA agents.

You frowned at steve and natasha, grumbling to yourself as Sam let you into the house.

“im y/n, sorry about these two” you smiled at the man, extending your hand out and turning to your two friends.

“thank you for coming y/n, we really need you” Steve spoke, natasha nodding in agreement as she dried her hair slowly.

“yeah, yeah everyone always needs me” you joked, sitting next to them and rubbing your eyes, “woke me up from my nap so this better be good” you spoke, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back.

Steve and natasha explained the situation, telling you what they knew about the winter soldier, you soaked in the information, attempting to google him but coming up with almost nothing.

“hm, so you want me to do what, exactly” you questioned, looking at the trio staring back at you.

“fight with us, help us, we have to stop HYDRA” Steve spoke, looking at natasha before continuing, “i don’t know who to trust and” he sighed, “we know we can trust you, are you in?”

You smiled, getting up and pulling the three in for a hug, sams eyes going wide.

“of course I’m in, i care about you guys too much to let you die alone” you chuckled, pulling away, looking at Sam before speaking up, “no ones dying by the way, right?”

The four of you were on the rooftop, getting information out of Sitwell, laughing when natasha kicked him off.

“What about that girl from accounting, Laura?” Natasha spoke, looking at Steve as he thought about the woman’s name.

“Lillian! Lip piercing right?” Natasha nodded and Steve shook his head.

“yeah I’m not ready for that” you laughed at the two lightly.

“you should get with the time have a little fun!” You teased, Natasha smiling as you sided with her, nodding her head excitedly.

As Sam brought Sitwell back you began the interrogation, threatening to throw the man off for good is he didn’t start talking. Your eyes were steely and they let you handle him, getting all the information you needed.

“i didn’t know you could be so-” sam stopped, trying to find the right words.

“evil?” Natasha offered.

“terrifying?” Steve chuckled and Sam nodded.

“Insight launched in 16 hours” you spoke up, checking your phone, Natasha nodded speaking up after you, “we’re cutting it kinda close here.”

Steve looked ahead with furrowed brows nodding his head, “well use him to bypass the DNA scans and bypass the helicarriers directly.”

Sitwell scoffed next to you, blabbering on about you something, you rolled your eyes, going to say something when someone reached through the window and threw him out, your eyes going wide.

“what the fuck!” You screeched, looking up and seeing who you assumed was the winter soldier.

Your eyes were wide as you stared out the windshield, a tug in your chest as you saw him sliding across the concrete, steadying himself with his metal arm.

Natasha pulled her gun out, aiming at the man. A car rear ended you, pushing you forward and knocking your wind out. The soldier jumped atop the car, holding on tight as the truck behind you pushed you all foward.

Sam pressed on the breaks, trying to steer away from the other cars. A metal hand reached through the windshield and tore the steering wheel out from his grasp.

“shit!” Sam yelled, eyes wide as the car drove into another, Natasha reaching her gun and shooting in hopes of hitting the masked man.

Steve grabbed onto the three in the front, looking back at you with wide eyes.

“go!” You yelled, scrambling to open the door before the car crashed into the wall.

“hang on!” Steve called, jumping out, with you bracing yourself for the impact seconds after, you flew out the door, hitting the ground with a thud.

You ran to join natasha and Sam, ducking behind cars to avoid the bullets, finally pulling out your pocket knife and hitting one of the men in the chest, running again as they shot at you three even more.

You and natasha jumped down, holding onto her as she shot something under the bridge to swing from.

The two of you landed safely, you pointed to the shadow of the solider, running alongside her to shoot at the man.

You both aimed and fired, hitting his giggled and causing him to turn back. You let out a sigh, hoping they would give you a minute to recover. You both ran for cover as he leaned back over, machine gun in hand and shooting wildly.

“fucks sake” you let out, breathless as you aimed to shoot back at him, running for cover once again, hiding behind the parked cars. Your eyes focusing on the bus steve had fallen into, relief flooding your body when you saw him jumping out and hiding behind the shield safely, eyes moving to the highway and seeing Sam shooting from above.

“I’m gonna leave this recording here, ill sneak up behind him and then you try and get him, we can double team him” Natasha spoke, you nodded, letting her record the memo before setting it down and running.

Your heart raced as you saw the soldier approach the vehicle, waiting for the right moment to strike. As Natasha ran to tackle him from behind you noticed the amount of people still around you, the explosion next to you sending people flying.

“shit” you mumbled, running to help them as Natasha held her own.

“get out of the way! Run! Get out of here” you yelled, pointing at those in frenzy to run in the opposite direction, you glanced over your shoulder, Natasha being thrown into a car.

As you turned to help her you noticed a little girl crying, alone. You debated for a second before running up to her, taking her in your arms and handing her off to some random adult who was fleeing.

Natasha had messed the man arm up, joining her in her sprint as you all yelled for people to move and to take cover. You heard the whirl of a bullet and natasha groan, doubling over next to a car.

“take of her!” Steve yelled, holding off the soldier. You let eyes were wide, putting pressure on Natasha wound and looking around.

“you’re gonna be fine” you told her, looking into the car and breaking the window with your elbow, opening the compartment in the passengers seat and smiling when you found a first aid kit.

“come on” you mumbled, moving her gently and cleaning the wound, doing your best with what little you had. You tried to bandage her, the sound of the bullets hitting Steve’s shield making your hands shake.

“go help them, I’ll be fine” Natasha groaned out, you hesitated before nodding, running to where Steve was.

You hid behind a car, watching as he shoved a knife into a van, barely missing Steve’s head.

You jumped from behind the car as Steve reached to grab his shield, hitting the metal armed man, you used your body weight to twist him back.

Visions flashed in your eyes, quick flashes of a man with a charming smile and beautiful blue eyes. The sound of laughter echoing in your ears as the mask fell besides you. You saw the two of you cuddled up on a couch, you saw two two of you watching a sunset while on a picnic, giggles falling from your mouth.

Bucky saw it too, his mind flashing with pictures of a life he didn’t recognize, seeing you, his mission in them. He saw you cuddled at his side, he saw you on a stage together singing with lyrics on a screen, he saw the two of you rescuing a white cat from the rain. Bucky saw you holding out a present for him, a bright smile on you face, he saw you throwing flour at him in a kitchen, cookies baking in an over.

He stayed on the ground, memories who he used to be flooding his mind, hope of who he could become clouding his judgement.

Tears brimmed in his eyes as he looked up at you, standing in front of Steve with an equally shocked look on your face.

“it’s you” you breathed out, your heart tugging in your chest as your eyes met his blue ones, they were cloudy and they were broken but god, you already loved them.

“it’s you” he whispered. A year rolling down his face before HYDRA agents surrounded you all.

“Bucky?” Steve spoke, finally getting a good look at the man.

The super soldier stayed quiet, panic in his eyes and he looked at you, setting his weapon down. You made a move to run to him, but Sam flew in, knocking him feet away from you, Natasha soon launching a grenade.

“no!” You screamed, running to where he was. He was gone.

“No! Please i just found him no!” You cried, sinking to you knees, Sam ran over to you, holding you tightly as you sobbed, agents surrounding the four of you and telling you all to get down on your knees.

You sobbed into sams chest, only leaving his embrace when the agents ripped you from him.

Buckys eyes were wide as he sat in the chair, his heart racing as he recalled your face, your hair. He recalled the flashes he saw, his future with you.

He had something to hold onto, he had something to fight for, someone to survive for. He thought about the man who was next to you, he was familiar, he was in his old memories.

Buckys mind raced, knowing they would wipe his memories, he soaked in every last detail, praying he could hold onto to what he had after they wiped him.

He could hold onto you, his hope.

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beann-e · 3 years

Text

god imagine if when bakugou has a kid their just like him. like imagine a 6 year old with a sarcastic nasty mouth who just doesn’t give a fuck. Which eventually leads to bakugou getting his ass handed to him. Look here’s a teaser

“ holy sh—fuc—why aren’t you sleeping “

“ why aren’t you sleeping “

“ because I cant sle—- “ a soft cough left the older males mouth as he sat up straighter “ I don’t have to explain anything to you — you little rodent “

“ ro— ro— rodent ? “ the small child’s voice came out in a loud scream as the male in front them shifted in his seat uncomfortably

“ here come on let’s go to mama “

God you had to have been his only way out of this situation

“ mamas sleep “

of course you were.

Of course you were tucked away into the confinement of your own bed recovering from a hard day of work. The soft covers draped over your body while the fan worked wonders around the room.

God your such an asshole , a pathetically beautiful and lucky asshole

“ heh , then why aren’t you? “ the older male deadpanned as he stared down on the child. He let out a small sigh when he didn’t receive an answer “ ok then why don’t we both go to our own rooms and sleep too huh ? how ‘bout that “

“ katsumis sleeping in there “

“ fuck —you just seem to have everybody in your corner huh you little brat“

The room went quiet as he watched the small girl crawl up on the coach using his pants leg as an anchor to help her get up there. Her small legs pushing her up only for her to fall back down because her arms couldn’t pull up the weight of her small body. His mouth opening to let out a sigh before he reached out and pushed the girl up on the couch his hand pushing her butt and sending the girl flying onto the couch like a football.

Only to make her giggle and crawl back over to sit next to him.Body settling in the same position as him with her small chubby legs spread out and her hands placed behind the couch as far as they could go leaving her chest out in the open. A small smile on her face when she noticed she looked just like the male to the right of her. And honestly she did she always did without even trying .

It wasn’t that bakugou hated kids no.

It was just that he would rather be left alone and not be bothered with them. He thought maybe when he grew up and had his own kids that would change but after the birth of your first child together, then the second , and lastly the third he only noticed the small change that occurred.

He could put up with them of course but he always found them annoying mostly because anytime he seen them he had just gotten back home from work. meaning he had to hear them screaming their heads off and fighting with you in a plea to skip bath time while he walked through the door and straight to your shared bedroom

Most of the time he was the disciplinary parent so you can only guess how quickly each of them would fall in line when they all looked up to see the loud footsteps echoing through the house belonged to their father.

His hero uniform still on with his eyes locked on each of theirs in a tired gaze frowning up at him as his right hand carried the belt he’d picked up from his bedroom on the way over to the bathroom.

His face speaking volumes before his mouth did . His right hand only gripping tighter when he thought about how long you had gone with them acting like this and him not being around to stop them from mistaking your exhaustion as submission

You weren’t soft per say but after having 3 kids and taking care of them by yourself you’d grown weak and tired.

Your mean manner and discipline you thought you had set up in your house only withered away more and more with every kid you had and now you were really just tired of taking care of three kids all by yourself with no help.

“ take the shitty bat— “

your hardened gaze moved from your kids to him as his hand holding the belt wavered — remembering your rule of no cursing in the house because your middle child had just started second grade and the teacher had already called once.

“ haha daddy’s scared of mommy “

“ of course he is have you seen her “

“ hey mommy’s not scary she’s just — “ your youngest daughter katsu spoke as she quickly turned to katsuki “ hey daddy what’s that word “

“ what word ? “ his face went stoic before he sighed annoyed with the small child “ how the hel— heck am I suppose to know what word you wanna say — i’m not a mind reader katsu— that’s not my quirk “

“ well maybe if you spent a little more time with her you’d know asshole “ your oldest spoke under his breath “ strict katsu that’s the word your looking for — she’s just strict I mean someone has to be when our fathers too busy sa— “

“ hey come on kai just— just get in the bathtub your up next anyways “ your voice was soft a small sigh leaving it before you wrapped katsumi and katsu in towels tucking them away from their older brother. “ ‘sumi— ‘tsu follow your dad he was just leaving —he can help me put you two to bed tonight — “ you rolled your eyes at the male hovering over you “ lord knows i need it—in you go kai “

“leaving — wh— the hell if I am ——- your just gonna let ‘ em get away with that “ bakugous mouth moved faster as he gripped the belt like it was a separate life form when he saw your innocent eyes look up at him “ get away with what babe ? “

“ they just verbally assaulted me y/n “

“ oh did they hmm” you turned back to your kids “ maybe you should file another villains report “

“ wow “ his voice went quiet at your remark you two had been on the outs recently because he kept saying how much he wanted more kids in the moment only to turn around and bask in the light he was given during their birth and then turn back around and spend no time with them at all.

you shook your head “ i’m sorry I don’t understand what they’ve done wrong “

You were tired of it.

“ i’m going to bed after this ‘suki I don’t know if your gonna be there or if your sleeping at the office again but please this time write a note so I don’t tell katsu her dad will take her to school in the morning “ you scoffed “ again “

That was how he ended up here he had gone to the office but he came back when he realized he’d screwed up his whole family. He assumed that if he had the fame , the money , the whole setup that he could provide for his family’s every need.

What he’d forgotten is that maintaining relationships within your family is actually apart of said needs. He didn’t understand until all three of his kids had something to say about his absence how much it was messing with them. So he came back home and sat on the couch.

Just his luck that he was greeted with not only the youngest but the smartest of his three children. He would’ve much rather have walked in to hear you screaming at him for leaving in the first place not the toothless child next to him bothering him with useless questions about his absence

“ dada “ his eyes went over to look at katsu who’d found a place on his side This would be her twelfth question in a matter of five minutes “ can I sit in your lap “

his eyes furrowed this was a different question than he’d expected “ katsu baby you don’t have to ask things like that “

“ but you— your never here so I just assumed that you may be trying to get away from us so I didn’t want you to have someone you don’t like in your lap “

“ what kat— “ his back hit the couch before he propped himself up and dragged the small girl onto his lap “ I adore you guys I love you and I never meant to make you guys feel unloved it’s just that“

“mm “ her voice coming out accusingly just like yours causing him to tense while imagining you as the small girl in front of him.

“ work baby “ he sighed as he rubbed the girls shoulders up and down heating up her cold body “ work is really hard when your an adult and you never get any time off with my job it’s constant “

“ daddy is all work hard “

“ yes “ he smiled

“ if all work is hard— meaning it’s all the same then why can’t you just get a different hard job that doesn’t take up all your time “

his heart pounded inside his chest as he stared down on the smaller girl his eyes wide “ w— what um aren’t you like what 5 —6 how— “

“ you missed when my quirk came daddy it’s super knowledge”

his smile tightened along with the grip he held on the couch cushion beside him “ of course it is yeah of course it is — just my fucking luck “

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my-johnlockficrecs · 2 years

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happy belated new year to all! last december, i realised i was reading a lot of fics, and i thought, well, why not make a monthly round-up style fic rec list? so, here are all the johnlock fics i read last december! i'm thinking i may make this a regular thing, but let's see how that pans out! in the meantime, i hope you enjoy some of the fics on here >:) i tried to make this list as accessible as possible, but i'm always open to feedback, so lmk if you have any suggestions!

key:🎄christmas themed • 🔍 victorian era

spotlight rec:

✰ Ghost Stories by SwissMiss🎄 (22k, M)

Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

i love the canon holmes parents so much, because look at how much they care about their sons 🥺 i like knowing that despite all the things sherlock has been through, he still does have parents who genuinely love him as he is, and are protective of him. i love that sherlock has that, and i absolutely love it when john sees that he does. Ghost Stories is such a gentle love story, filled with quiet moments. i loved reading all of john’s interactions with mr. and mrs. holmes, and how sweetly john and sherlock’s love story unfolded.

bite sized (5k and less)

1. shut up and dance by @simplyclockwork (560, not rated)

What is it with spies and dancing?

2. stag night: take two by @simplyclockwork (2k, E)

After missing out on John's first stag night, Greg tries to plan a fun evening for his engaged friends.

He is immediately filled with regret. So much regret.

3. step for two by @simplyclockwork (4k, teen)

When single dad Sherlock Holmes enrolls his young son in ballet class, unexpected sparks fly between Sherlock and the fill-in dance instructor, John Watson.

4. Namesake by scullyseviltwin (4k, teen)

John stands just beyond the glass, the fluorescent lights giving the room a clinical, sterile feel. He needs to stop himself from raising his hand and placing on the cool pane before him; it’s a compulsion, it’s a cliche from a thousand different films.

5. Christmas Music by WritingOutLoud 🎄 (1k, G)

“Teach me?” The words slip from his lips before he has a chance to catch them. What is he doing? He can’t dance. He’s never wanted to dance. Yet, something is enticing about being whisked around the living room in the arms of his detective.

~ John walks in on Sherlock waltzing. Of course, he has to join in ~

6. No Better Occasion by two_nipples_maybe_more 🎄🔍(1k, G)

In the last century—good God, how old these four words alone make me feel—when we were in the prime of our days, Holmes was in the habit of raising me from my bed at all hours of the night. Our consulting room may have had set visiting times, but tragedies rarely stuck to them. It was a necessary trouble in our line of work, but I had long been under the impression that, along with Retirement, so would come some manner of nocturnal peace.

I was wrong.

7. Shepherd, Joy & Blankets by insistentbass 🎄 (5k, M)

'Sherlock chuckles, that double bass laugh he does only when he’s particularly pleased with himself. It’s more endearing than it should be. It’s been so long since John’s heard it that he can’t help but smile, too.'

John pulls back from a kiss. Sherlock disappears for a few days. There's a hill, and snow, and it's almost Christmas. I hate summaries.

8. Now by stopthat (1k, G)

John has only caught glimpses of it before. He’s seen flashes of it, in Sherlock’s less guarded moments, only to doubt it all completely once it’s been carefully shuttered away.

But Sherlock is not hiding now.

9. Yet What I Can, I Give Him by a_big_apple 🎄 (1k, G)

This Christmas is much improved over the last--mostly because Sherlock isn't dead--but it isn't so simple for John to recover from his grief, and he finds comfort in likely and unlikely places.

10. Forth They Went Together by thetimemoves(WriteOut) 🎄 (4k, teen)

Stuck on a train in the middle of a snowy nowhere, John and Sherlock reminisce about Christmases past, plan Christmas present, and commit to Christmases future.

short fics (5k-15k)

11. Almost Home by Berty (13k, E)

"He pulls out the ID card – the one that Sherlock had somehow seen when he was buying drinks at that awful club. He’s had other ID cards since then but he's hung on to this one for some reason. He looks at the image of his face, young and pale and idealistic, and he knows that just a month later that man would have found and lost the love of his life within a week, and even knowing that, John wouldn’t change a single thing."

12. The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (15k, M)

After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

13. Second Chance by @silentauroriamthereal (15k, E)

Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

14. Lines Written in Kensington Gardens by CaitlinFairchild (6k, E)

Thirty-five was the established boundary, Sherlock decided after extensive calculations. He would be dead by thirty-five. That was the kind of man he was. That was the kind of life he lived.

At thirty-four, a year before his appointed rendezvous with oblivion, Sherlock met a man. Nobody special, or so he thought, an ordinary man--who soon proved extraordinary, a man who killed without hesitation to protect a life Sherlock cared nothing about.

15. This Time by Berty (12k, teen)

After five months of silence, John asks Sherlock to meet him for a coffee. Five months of learning to live completely without John has been harder than he could have imagined but the lure of seeing his friend once more is too much to pass up.

16. That Time of Year by JRow 🎄 (6k, teen)

It's Christmas Eve. The tree is decorated, the mince pies are out, and Rosie is fast asleep. Flipping his mobile in his hand, John wonders what Sherlock is doing. Then he wonders, not for the first time, what it means that Sherlock is never far from his mind. Before he can stop himself, John hits the call button.

mid length (16k-50k)

17. In Need of Quiet Affection and Gentle Words by kinklock (16k, E)

After John's girlfriend (of sorts) sends him an online sex guide, John finds himself more intrigued by the guide's author than anything his girlfriend might have had in mind.

18. Through the Clouds by Mazarin221B (20k, E)

They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want.

Sherlock takes one last look out to the horizon, mouth downturned and brow furrowed, before seeming to shake himself and catching up to John with a few long-legged strides. John turns back toward the path cut into the cliffs, climbing steadily toward the rolling downs already green and lush in the weak April warmth.

They reach the top and Sherlock strikes toward the west, back to where their hired Land Rover sits a mile away in a public carpark. John falls into step beside him and takes a deep breath.

“I expected a case,” he starts. “A bit chilly for a walk, really, so. D’you mind telling me what we’re doing out here?”

Sherlock doesn’t even pause, simply tucks his head down against the wind and continues walking.

“I’m retiring,” he says simply.

19. To a Friend Who Sent Me Roses by AlgySwinburne (16k, E)

Five times Sherlock is mistaken for John’s partner and Rosie’s father, and one time it isn’t a mistake.

20. A Doctor in the House by @kitten-kin (32k, teen)

A replacement for Series 3 Episode 1 of BBC's "Sherlock", because my John would never.

21. Here We Go Again by disfictional (46k, E)

Ransacking some old trunks, Rosie Watson finds her father's old journal filled with remnants of a blog he used to keep about his association with Sherlock Holmes. In an attempt to meet the man who had a profound impact on her early years, Rosie invites the long-estranged detective to her wedding under false pretenses.

It's a Mamma Mia Fusion!

22. Learning Curve by thpontiacbandit (41k, M)

John is a Kindergarten teacher. One of his students, a boy named Henry Holmes, refuses to speak in school. John is determined to get to the bottom of it, and that is how he meets Sherlock Holmes.

long fics (50k and above)

23. blessing in disguise by @simplyclockwork (54k, E)

Venice, Italy. June 2010.

After surviving the bullet that ended his military career and nearly cost him his life, John Watson can't seem to shake the loss. Eight months after returning to London, he finds himself dragged off to Italy by the good intentions of the same men he once commanded in Afghanistan.

One stupid bet turns John's world upside down after his mates challenge him to spend a night in the infamous Palazzo Dario. Known to the locals as Ca’Dario, rumours of a curse of misfortune surround the old Venetian palace. But, far stranger than myth, is the man John meets inside: Sherlock Holmes, a consulting detective investigating a series of suspicious deaths tied to the notorious building. After exposing each of John’s most personal fears within seconds of their first meeting, Sherlock invites John to help him dig deeper into the mystery of Ca’Dario’s curse.

When danger looms, John is forced to face the depth of his feelings for the cryptically charming Sherlock Holmes — even if that means finally letting down his guard.

24. Working on the Edges by earlgreytea68 (56k, M)

No matter where you put Sherlock and John, they click. Including the Winter Olympics.

25. Stranger at the Gate by bendingsignpost (85k, E)

As far as initiation rites go, kidnapping a human doctor from a defended town ought to seem extreme. When James Moriarty offers him the challenge, Sherlock never considers saying no. (Fantasy vampire AU)

26. Dive by @finamour 🎄 (65k, E)

It’s John’s third year of studying abroad at Harvard, and he’s still struggling to fit in. On a cold night in December, he finds his girlfriend with another man—and meets a tall, gorgeous bartender with horrible manners that he can’t stop thinking about.

Just as John falls for him, madly, swiftly, deeply—the bartender disappears, and the bar unexpectedly shuts down.

Unexplained occurrences begin to happen to John and his friends, and he slowly discovers the truth about the one he loves. Will he find him in time to tell him how he feels, and more importantly—can he keep him safe?

27. The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss 🎄 (99k, E)

Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong?

wip

28. Sherlock Holmes Live by emilycare (41k, chapters: 8/24, M)

Down on his luck John Watson answers an advert for a paid role in an experimental play. Enter William Scott with a most unusual proposition: help him test run a two person immersive experience, oh and by the way there is sex and romance involved.

#johnlockficrecs #johnlock #fics #fic recs #damn 2 more fics and i would have read as many fics as there are days in december #quite late w this but at least i got it out djfjdh #my johnlock fic recs: december 2021 #bbc sherlock #johnlock fics #johnlock fic recs

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

You're an Idiot

Summary: Bucky panics when he thinks Y/N is catching on to his surprise.

Warnings: angst, mostly fluff

Word Count: 3531

a/n: This request is honestly so cute. It just makes me smile. :)

Masterlist

"Did you get it yet?" Steve skipped all formalities upon entering Bucky's room.

Bucky's head snapped up from the book he was reading, eyes immediately going to the closing door to make sure nobody was in the hall.

"Well? Did you?" Steve pestered, eager to share in his friends happiness.

"I did." Bucky sighed, knowing there was no keeping this from Steve.

"Let me see it!" There are no words to explain how excited Steve is for his best friend. When he first got Bucky back, a part of him was worried he would never recover from the pain and guilt.

That is, until Bucky met you. It wasn't an instantaneous change, but meeting you definitely affected Bucky.

He was more willing to spend time with the team. He was more likely be found in a common area instead of his own bedroom. Hell, he even smiled more.

Bucky carefully pulled out the drawer of his nightstand, retrieving a dark green velvet box. He opened it, his own eyes taking in the beauty of the ring before he turned it around to show Steve.

"Buck... She's going to love it." Steve smiled, eyes watering slightly. He's always been a romantic. "Have you decided how you're going to ask her?"

Bucky shook his head, quickly returning the box to its place in the drawer. He ran a hand through his hair, a physical manifestation of his nerves.

"I don't know. I have so many ideas, but none of them seem perfect." Bucky chanced a look at Steve, rolling his eyes at his friends exasperated look.

"Bucky. She'll think it's perfect because it's you. Trust me." Steve encouraged him, knowing he needed a bit of reassurance.

"Are you sure?" His recurring self doubt as beginning to peek through.

"Sure about what?" You popped into the room, never one to knock when it came to Bucky. Similarly, he never needed to knock to know he was welcome in your room.

"Just that Bucky deserves to be happy." Steve avoided Bucky's glare as he moved to exit that room.

"Well, that I can agree to!" You plopped down across his lap throwing your arms around his neck. You felt a familiar shiver as he moved his hands, one to your back and the other over your thigh.

"Well, it's a good thing I have you." Bucky pressed a quick kiss to your lips, waving at Steve as he closed the door.

"You make me happy too." You responded in kind, leaning into his embrace.

"So?" Steve questioned.

"Not yet." Bucky sighed, still unsure of the perfect way to propose to you.

"Buck. You've had it for 2 weeks! Just ask her!" Steve whisper yelled since the two were in the kitchen. Unfortunately, nosy ears still caught the conversation.

"Ask who, what?" Sam eagerly inserted himself into the conversation.

Bucky and Steve shared a look, only giving Sam a better idea as to what was going on.

"Oh my god. Oh my god! You're going to ask Y/N-"

"Ask me what?" You cut Sam off as you entered the kitchen, heading for the fridge.

"To train with me!" Sam quickly threw out an excuse.

"Okay? We train together all the time..." You looked between the three men confusion evident in the furrow of your brow.

"Well, yeah. But you've never flown before." Sam tried to further explain the lie, earning an excited smile from you and a glare from the two super soldiers.

"Seriously! Sam you swore you'd never let me fly your suit. What changed?" You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of the three men.

"Yeah, well Barnes practically begged me. He wanted to surprise you, but I guess I ruined that. My bad!" He replied, swiftly exiting the kitchen before you could further question him.

"Bucky, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! You know how much I want to fly that suit!" You ran to him, throwing your arms around him in a bear hug.

"Anything for you, doll. Anything for you."

"I think he's going to propose." You laid it all out on the line during girl's night. Three margaritas in, and you couldn't keep the thoughts to yourself anymore. It didn't matter how embarrassing it would be if you were wrong. Not when the tequila was doing the talking.

"Oh my god!" Wanda squealed, just as excited as you.

"Wow." Nat smirked, containing her happiness much better.

"I know! I'm just not sure when." You bit your lip, fidgeting a bit.

"Well, what do you know?" Nat asked for details.

"He was talking to Steve about something when I walked in and Steve said he deserves to be happy. Then, this morning Sam was freaking out about a question he was going to ask me. I mean, he covered it with something about letting me fly his suit, but still. I just have a feeling." You couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face.

"Okay. He's probably just nervous then." Nat replied easily.

"Just drop some subtle hints that you would say yes. Maybe he just needs some reassurance!" Wanda grinned over the glass of her own margarita.

"Okay. Subtle hints. I can do that." You nodded to yourself, thoughts spinning with ways to let Bucky know you would say yes.

"I've got it." Bucky rushed into Steve's room, a wide smile on his face.

"You do?" Steve jumped from his desk, excitement overflowing.

Bucky vigorously nodded before explaining his plan.

"Two more weeks?!" Steve was dying for Bucky to just ask you, but if his plan had to wait two more weeks, so be it.

"Yes. It's perfect. She'll be so surprised!" You and Bucky had briefly talked about marriage before, but nothing in detail. Just enough that he knows you want to get married.

"I'm happy for you, bud. You really do deserve this." Steve patted him on the back, as he went through the plan one more time.

"Bucky?" You had been looking for him all over the compound before finally checking the living room.

He paused the film, turning all his attention to you. He smiled in greeting, gesturing for you to join him on the couch.

"What do you need?" His brows pinched together in concern, earning a sweet smile from you.

"I just wanted to ask what color you think I should paint my nails!" You showed him the various bottles you were carrying.

"Oh." His pinched brows now showcased his confusion. "Um, okay. Any particular reason why?"

"Not really. I'm thinking of getting a new ring soon, and I want my nails to look good when I take pictures of it!" You tried to sound nonchalant, but your heart was racing. Was this subtle enough?

Bucky's own heart picked up speed at the idea of you finding out before the surprise he had planned.

"Oh, that's nice. I'd go with the yellow. It's happy." He turned his attention back to the movie, trying to cut the conversation short.

"Okay, thank you!" You pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room. Clearly you needed a better plan.

"Hi, Doll." Bucky greeted you as he entered the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Italian Wedding Soup!" You exclaimed, excited to try another hint. "Don't you just love weddings?"

Bucky nearly choked on his water. "Um, yep. Yeah, wedding's are great. I've, uh, got to meet Steve for training! I'll see you later!" he nearly ran out of the room.

"Well, that didn't go well." You muttered to yourself, now angry at the soup.

"Bucky, can I ask you something?" He had been practically avoiding you for the last two days, ever since the soup incident.

"Of course." He met your eye, the nervous tone of your voice causing his heart to ache.

"Do you ever think about getting married?" You decided to just bite the bullet and ask him what you've been wondering for the last few days.

"Nope." He panicked. 100% panicked. "I don't believe in marriage."

His nerves caused him to miss the way your shoulders dropped.

"Oh."

"Yep. It's not for me. Just can't picture it." His head was screaming for him to stop talking, but he just kept rambling.

"Well, okay. I was, um, just wondering. Ya know. Wanda was talking about it the other day, so I was curious what you thought." You tried to cover your sadness, at least until you could get out of the room. "I'm actually going to grab lunch with Wanda now, so I'll see you later. Bye!"

You quickly ran out of the room, leaving Bucky to contemplate what the hell just happened.

"I was so wrong." You burst into tears the minute you entered Wanda's room.

"Honey! About what?" She pulled you across the room to her bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Bucky!" You cried harder as you said his name.

"What about him?" Wanda floundered, unused to seeing you so distraught.

"He doesn't want to propose! He doesn't believe in marriage." Your heart broke even further as you said the words out loud.

"What?!" Wanda's eyes were wide. Her mind went blank at the shock of hearing why you were so upset.

Suddenly the door swung open, Nat entering before quickly closing it again.

"I could hear her crying from down the hall. What happened?" Her own voice was laced with concern as she quickly moved to comfort you from the opposite side of Wanda.

"Bucky doesn't want to marry me!" You cried into your hands. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"Y/N, Bucky is crazy about you." Nat, ever the voice of reason, tried to calm you down.

"I know he loves me, but he doesn't wanna marry me." Your cries were calming down, silent tears streaming down your face as you hiccuped every so often.

"How do you know he doesn't want to marry you?" She questioned further, trying to get to the bottom of this. Nat knew, with 100% certainty, that he was planning to propose. She's seen the ring, even if nobody knows that she's seen it.

"I asked him if he ever thought about getting married..." You took a shaky breath, trying not to sob again. "And he said 'Nope. I don't believe in marriage.'"

Wanda and Nat made eye contact, each expressing their confusion over the words.

"Oh, honey. It's okay. Cry it out." Wanda let you lean into her and cry.

"I just, I feel so stupid." You sighed once more.

Marriage was never something you thought about until you met Bucky. Well, maybe when you were little, but who doesn't?

Ever since you discovered what it meant to be independent, you knew you didn't need to get married to live a fulfilling life. It wasn't something you deemed necessary.

At least, not before Bucky.

There's just something about how much you love him that makes you want to announce it to the world in front of your closest friends and family. You want to share that moment with him, where you express how completely devoted to each other you are.

Finding out Bucky doesn't want the same thing hurt.

"Y/N. You are absolutely not stupid. You love him, it only makes sense that you would think about a wedding." Wanda tried to console you as Nat put the pieces together in her head.

She knew Bucky must have a surprise proposal planned. He must've panicked when you asked him about getting married. Why he would panic that much is unknown to her, but still. That's the only explanation that makes sense. Of course, she couldn't tell you that.

"Bucky's an idiot if he doesn't want to marry you." She settled for blindly supporting your emotions instead.

"It's not me is it?" Your eyes went wide with fear.

"No, of course not!" Nat panicked. "You two are perfect together."

"Not perfect enough for him to want to marry me." You cried into Wanda's shoulder again.

Nat shook her head, silently pleading for Wanda to take over consoling you.

"Steve. I fucked up." Bucky couldn't stop replaying the look on your face when he said he doesn't believe in marriage. "And before you say anything about my language, there's no other word for how badly I just fucked up."

Steve eyed his friend with concern. "What did you do?"

"Well, Y/N, she's been hinting at wanting me to propose." He stalled briefly, not really wanting to admit it.

"That's a good thing. It means the two of you are on the same page." Steve tried to reassure him, blissfully unaware of what happened.

"I know. But, she flat out asked me if I ever think about getting married... and I panicked." Bucky refused to look Steve in the eye, opting instead to pace the room.

"Panicked how?" Steve's voice was hard. He always thought of you like a little sister, and if Bucky hurt you he would be livid.

"I told her... I told her I don't believe in marriage." Bucky mumbled under his breath, but Steve could still make out the words with his enhanced hearing.

"YOU DID WHAT?" His eyes went wide, mind stuttering with shock. All he could do was yell. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why on earth would you say that? Y/N must be so heartbroken right now! You know that she wants to marry you, and what do you do? Tell her you don't. You've really outdone yourself with the stupid this time, pal-"

"Steve! I know! I didn't mean it! I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. It's supposed to be this Friday!" Bucky tried defending himself, but he knew it was futile.

"Well, you can still do what you were planning... right?" Steve questioned, unsure if you would agree to the date.

"I hope so." Bucky nervously chewed his lip, trying to come up with a back up plan.

You were avoiding him. Everytime he tried to talk to you about going on a date on Friday, you somehow evaded the conversation entirely.

If you weren't on your way to training, you had plans with Nat or Wanda. If it wasn't plans with them, you absolutely had to finish a mission report. You always had an escape route, and it killed him that you felt like you needed to hide from him.

Bucky finally managed to corner you in the gym Thursday morning.

"Y/N!" He nearly screamed from the other side of the gym.

You took a deep breath, trying to ready yourself for the conversation.

"Hi Bucky." You greeted him with a small kiss.

It was time. You needed to talk to him. If he didn't want to get married, that had to be okay with you. You'd rather live your life with him as your boyfriend forever than not have him at all.

He seemed stunned by your greeting, having grown used to you trying to escape the second he entered a room.

"Hi..." He suddenly got quiet, not wanting to spook you.

"Um, what are you doing tomorrow?" He hasn't felt this awkward asking you on a date since the first time he asked you to get dinner with him.

"Nothing, I think." You were feeling just as awkward as Bucky.

"Perfect. I've got a surprise for you." He pulled you into a hug, feeling a sense of calm just from holding you.

"Oh, really?" You would have thought a proposal would be the surprise, but because of your last conversation you're left clueless.

"Yep." Bucky relaxed for the first time in days at the sight of your smile. "I'm taking you to dinner. You deserve it."

You couldn't stop the way your heart fluttered at seeing his cheeky smile. I can live my life like this. You thought to yourself.

"Ooh. Okay, well what should I wear?" You were already thinking over outfit options.

"Whatever you want. Something comfortable though." He was honestly nervous you would say no, so this is more progress than he expected.

"How mysterious. Okay, I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet Nat and Wanda. I love you." You kissed him quickly before leaving the gym.

"Ugh. I haven't been this nervous for a date with Bucky since... well since ever! I wasn't even this nervous the first time." You whined to Nat and Wanda. It felt like you had gone through every outfit in your closet and you still haven't found something to wear.

"Y/N, relax." Wanda picked out clothes for you, handing you one of your favorite cute and comfy outfits. "Wear this."

"The two of you love each other. That's all you need to think about right now." Nat reassured you as you changed for the fifteenth time.

"Exactly. Just go enjoy your date." Wanda encouraged you as well.

"What did I do to deserve the two of you." You pulled them into a group hug, laughing when they pushed you out the door.

You were still smiling when you ran into Bucky in the hallway.

"Oh. I was just coming to find you!" You kissed him quickly. "I wasn't sure what time you wanted to leave."

"That's what I was coming to find you for. I'm ready when you are, doll."

"Well, then. Let's go." You grinned when Bucky took your hand, leading you out of the compound and down to the lake.

He brought you right up to a picnic blanket that was already setup on the dock.

"I thought we could picnic tonight." He looked at you with a shy expression.

"Bucky, that's perfect. There's actually supposed to be a-"

"A meteor shower tonight." He finished for you. "That's actually why I planned a picnic."

The feelings of doubt and heartache that had been plaguing your mind for the last few days all but vanished in the blink of an eye.

"I love you so much." You leaned into his touch, sitting next to him while he pulled food from the picnic basket.

"I love you too." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, handing you various foods.

The two of you fell back into natural conversation throughout the night. Any lingering nervousness left you, although Bucky kept fidgeting throughout the night.

It wasn't until after dessert that anything out of the ordinary happened.

"The meteor shower is supposed to start in a few minutes, do you want to go sit at the end of the dock?" Bucky stood, his hand out for you to grab.

You pulled yourself up, not letting go of Bucky's hand as you walked the short distance to the end of the pier. Just as you took the last step, you could see a few meteors shoot across the sky.

"It's beautiful." you gazed up at the stars, missing the deep breath Bucky took before sinking to one knee.

"Y/N, I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I didn't know it at the time, but I felt it. Every minute I've spent with you since then has been a gift."

The expression on your face could only be described as a mixture of shock, awe, love, and annoyance.

"When I was young, I used to think about who I would marry. I never thought of someone as incredible as you. After everything that happened, I didn't think I'd ever be worthy of someone's love. I still don't know how I convinced you to fall in love with me, but I'm grateful everyday that you did. There is nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life as your husband."

He took a deep breath, looking right into your eyes as he asked the question.

"Will you marry me?"

"I- Yes. Of course I will marry you." You didn't even realize you were crying until Bucky wiped a tear from your cheek.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he slipped the ring on your finger.

"I love you too." You kissed him as soon as he stood up. Immediately stepping back to hit him.

"What was that for?" He looked affronted.

"'I don't believe in marriage.'" You mocked the deep timber of his voice.

Bucky laughed, pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry." He pressed your foreheads together. "I really panicked when I thought you were going to ruin the surprise."

"You're such an idiot." You laughed. The two of you were all smiles as you held each other.

"Trust me, Steve let me know just how much of an idiot I am." Bucky shook his head. "He'll just be glad I've finally done it."

"Finally? How long have you had the ring?" You smiled as you glanced between your left hand and Bucky's face.

"A month. Not too long really. I think he was more annoyed with how long it took me to get the ring." He smiled, looking into your eyes.

"We've only been dating for 2 years. I wouldn't say that's abnormally long." Your brows furrowed.

"That is correct..."

"But?" You encouraged.

"But I told him I wanted to marry you the second we finished our first date."

permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky angst #bucky fluff #bucky one shot

566 notes · View notes

thornedrose44 · 3 years

Text

Prompt: “I can’t do this. Just leave me alone.”

Read on AO3

"Goodnight, Kara." Lena said from across the room when she finally managed to catch Kara's eye.

It was the first time they had made eye contact since Kara had welcomed her inside at the start of the night. Kara startled at the sudden sight of Lena, waving farewell as she stepped quietly towards the door, but made no move to follow after her and when the door swung quietly shut behind her Lena knew things would never be the same.

It was Kara's birthday party (her Earth birthday party to those that happened to be in the know, which to Lena's un-surprise was a rather considerable group all things considered). Kara had invited her, further proof of the strength of their newly reaffirmed friendship. Lena had been grateful for the invite, appreciating it as the sign that they were back on the right track, and accepted it without hesitation.

She had then proceeded to spend hours upon hours thinking of the perfect gift for Kara, excitement and anticipation building in her stomach.

It would be her first proper night out in months after being thrown back into her role as CEO and dealing with all the negative press following Lex’s downfall and upcoming conviction. Her working hours had reached an excess that she had never achieved before. The blowback onto her in the form of hatred for the Luthors was even greater than last time as well, despite her crucial role in taking Lex down. She was still deemed guilty by association especially since she had been working closely with Lex for a long time before revelations about his villainy became apparent.

The news were critiquing her every move, slandering her every chance they got and rallying the masses to a fervour - she was now facing at least one assassination attempt every week.

Regardless of all that, Lena had one salvation, one light of hope that she clung onto. Her friendship with Kara. It was growing again. They were spending time together. Relearning one another or learning about each for the first time in Lena's case. The conversation was finally less stilted and the trust was back.

But there was still something missing, something stopping them from returning to exactly where they were before.

Lena, as the months ticked by, realised that they were no longer as physically close as they once were. Hugs were rare. Gentle touches of the hands were swiftly snatched back to prevent lingering. Even extended eye contact was fleeting.

Lena at first thought the problem was that she had hurt Kara so badly that the woman who sometimes communicated solely through physical affection no longer wanted to be touched by Lena. That broke something in Lena. That Kara, even though she was trying to be kind, friendly and forgiving to Lena, was not comfortable with any sort of physical contact between them, drove Lena into a drunken stupor of college-level proportions.

Once the alcohol was out of her system and she had suitably recovered from her hangover, Lena had allowed the scientist within her to take over.

No more assumptions.

She would gather evidence, make an hypothesis and work towards a solution.

If she wanted Kara back in her life properly - cuddles on the sofa and lengthy hugs a necessity of that - Lena would put the effort in.

So she observed… and what she observed was this…

Pink cheeks and bashful expressions whenever their gazes met.

A thick swallow and faltering breath whenever their hands brushed.

Deep sighs and fingers digging fleetingly into her back as if on the edge of pulling her closer whenever they embraced.

Dark eyes and teeth biting into a bottom lip whenever Lena stretched or moved her hair away from her neck.

Attraction, affection and interest .

Lena didn’t believe the results of her evidence; she re-ran the tests over and over again trying to work out if she had just interacted with Kara on an odd day, if she just happened to be thinking about something (someone) else at the same time but… it kept happening over and over again.

If it had been anyone else, Lena wouldn’t have doubted what she was seeing but… but.. This was Kara.

Kara, who she had been in love with since she had walked into her office with her cousin.

Kara, who had never picked up on or reacted to her flirts.

Kara, who had broken her heart with lies.

Kara, who meant so much to her.

Kara, who she had only just gotten back.

Was it worth the risk?

Fear had blinded her, of that she had no doubt, but was it keeping her safe from the hurtful truth of Kara not wanting to touch her anymore or from the potential happiness that Kara returned her feelings but was too sweet or shy to put herself in a position that would make Lena uncomfortable.

Lena decided to take a chance - just this once because even if she was wrong about Kara not feeling the same, she had to believe that Kara was incapable of being cruel to her if she misread it. They promised each other honesty and Lena intended to show it.

It was why she needed to buy the perfect present, something that hinted that Kara’s feelings (if Lena was right) were returned. And just a week before the party, she knew exactly what the perfect present would be.

She wrapped it personally (normally Jess would wrap any gifts she had to send out), wanting to go the extra mile. It wasn’t perfectly done, a bit messy in places and the sellotape was excessive but she had done it herself which she knew Kara would appreciate more than professional gift wrapping.

Lena, however, realised that she had made a mistake the second she arrived at Kara's.

Knew she had misread… everything …

Because Kara… Kara couldn't stand to be near her for longer than it took to say hello, accept the present and then disappear off.

Lena hadn’t expected to be with Kara for all of the party; it was Kara's party and loads of her friends were in attendance, all of whom wanted to spend it with Kara. Who wouldn't?

It's just… Lena…

Lena didn't have anyone else.

It was made abundantly clear to Lena within the first thirty seconds that she was not welcome. Alex gave her a gruff nod from across the room before turning her back to her - she still didn't trust her and Lena had prioritised winning Kara back over the last few months above everything else. Brainy and Nia smiled at her but they were deep in conversation with CatCo employees all of whom were practically snarling at Lena (clearly not Luthor fans). James was here as well and dear God did he give her such a blazing look of hatred Lena was surprised she didn't burst into flames under its ferocity. (They hadn’t dated in this rewritten universe, much to Lena’s pleasure, though his original dislike for her was clearly a mainstay of every universe).

So… Lena grabbed a drink and stood in the corner as Kara moved seamlessly between her various groups of friends and colleagues, never once sparing Lena even a glance. The majority of her movements were accompanied by William Dey, who repeatedly tried to sling an arm around Kara's shoulder - the only joy Lena got from the evening was watching Kara repeatedly squirm out from under his touch.

She held out for two hours, sipping three beers and glancing intermittently at her phone as she stayed in her corner, hoping that Kara would come over for just five minutes.

Five minutes with Kara wasn't too much to ask for, was it?

Five mere minutes with Kara would have made the whole night worth it, made the glares and malevolent whispers sent her way worth it.

It was at the two hour mark that Lena accepted the truth.

Kara wasn't going to come over to talk to her.

Kara hadn't been pulling away from her due to a sudden realisation of feelings and attraction.

Kara hadn't expected her to accept the invite. Hadn't wanted her to accept.

Kara was ashamed of her, that was why she pulled away, why she didn't acknowledge her.

Lena couldn't really blame her but that didn't mean she had to stay and take it. So gathering what was left of her dignity, she shuffled towards the door, caught Kara's eye, waved and slipped outside… though, not before retrieving the present she had brought for Kara… it would have revealed far too much and Lena didn't need to deal with that on top of everything else.

Lena returned to her office for no other reason that she still had some good liquor stored there - Kara had encouraged her a couple of months ago to cut back on her drinking and she couldn’t deny the baby blue puppy dog eyes. She staggered into her office, chucking the present she had spent hours creating onto the sofa - she would buy Kara some random meaningless gift like a nice scarf or jumper tomorrow instead - and poured herself a full tumbler before flipping open her laptop and getting to work. She lost herself in designs and business plans as she made her way through the bottle.

She used to sit and brood when she drank but Sam had made her promise she wouldn’t do that anymore, hazel eyes filled with concern at where Lena’s mind wandered when unoccupied and fuelled by alcohol. Whilst Lena was in a pretty bleak space, she refused to hurt her last (and only) friend by breaking the one promise she had made to her.

It must have been two am when Lena heard a familiar thud from the balcony followed by a gentle knock that could only belong to one person.

“Kara, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Lena called out, not bothering to lift her gaze away from her laptop screen - she wasn't sure whether the sight of Kara would evoke tears or fury and she wished to give Kara neither.

“Hey… I just wanted… I was…" Kara stammered out; Lena didn't need to see her to know that she was fidgeting with the edge of her cape as she tiptoed nervously closer. "You know… flying around and saw the light on and figured I would check in on you, see how you were doing…”

“I’m fine. Just working.” Lena replied brusquely taking a sip of her whiskey.

“And drinking…” Kara muttered, her tone more worried than disapproving but Lena took offense regardless.

“Yes. It’s a Saturday night, cut me some slack.” Lena snapped back, defiantly swallowing what was left in her glass before slamming it down onto her desk.

The loud clack as it connected with the surface was followed by a heavy, almost suffocating silence.

“You left early.” Kara whispered into the unnatural stillness, shattering the fraudulent focus Lena had on her computer screen with those three words. Kara didn't sound confused or upset, just painfully neutral as if to emotionally step back from the situation so that she could garner some emotional truth from the CEO instead.

Well, Lena was done with that, done with giving more of herself than Kara wanted so she took a deep, calming breath and allowed her painstakingly crafted mask to slip into place.

“I wasn’t the first to leave.” Lena pointed out calmly, finally turning to look at Kara, certain she could keep her voice and face blank. It was then that she saw how… small Kara looked, which was never a word Lena would have used to describe Kara in full Supergirl regalia in the entire time she had known her. Kara looked defeated and lost, a tremble to her lip and very being that she tried to hide behind a shy smile.

“Well… I didn’t get a chance to talk to you…” Kara replied, ducking her head meekly as she admitted. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Lena pursed her lips at that, “I was there for over two hours, Kara. You could have come over whenever you wanted. It wasn’t like I was occupied.”

“Yeah… what was that about?” Kara laughed, rubbing the back of her neck, trying far too hard to make her tone light as if even the idea of Lena being without company was an entirely absurd concept.

The high-pitch to Kara's laugh and the unfamiliar tension around her eyes revealed to Lena that Kara knew exactly why Lena had been standing all alone that evening.

“I’m a Luthor, Kara." Lena replied sharply, not interested in trying to smooth over the harsh truths like Kara was always so keen to do when it suited her. "No one wanted me there and they all made that very clear.”

“I wanted you there.” Kara replied so soft and earnest that Lena nearly believed her.

“I highly doubt that.” Lena scoffed derisively.

“I did.” Kara insisted, eyes desperate and pleading.

Lena merely shook her head, turning back to face her computer, “If you say so…”

“Lena, I-”

“Kara… I can’t…” Lena muttered, her voice cracking in the exact way she didn’t want it to. “I can’t do this. Just leave me alone.” Lena requested, hating how it verged on begging.

“What?” Kara murmured in shock.

“I can’t just… pretend that I’m not hurt or upset.” Lena confessed, fingers curling into fists on her desk, eyes slamming shut to lock in the tears. “I just need… time to get over it and accept what we are. So until then… please just leave me alone.”

“I hurt you.” Kara repeated, her voice broken and raw .

“Kara, I didn’t…” Lena shook her head angrily, she didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to inflict herself on Kara who had tried so hard to be her friend. “It's your birthday, Kara.” Lena sighed sadly, “You get to spend it anyway you like with whomever you like.”

“I wanted to spend it with you.” Kara breathed, and Lena could hear the sharp inhales between each word that revealed that Kara was crying.

“Kara, you don’t need to…” Lena assured, with a wave of her hand, eyes focused on her lap, “let’s just leave it, okay?”

“No…” Kara gasped, and suddenly Lena felt a trembling hand connect with her own tightly curled fists, “wait… what did you mean ‘get over it’ and ‘accept what we are’?”

Lena sucked in a sharp breath at the question, biting down harshly on her bottom lip.

“Lena?” Kara pressed.

“Fuck it, fine.” Lena snapped, yanking her hands away from Kara’s infinitely soft touch and shoving herself out of her chair before storming away from Kara, desperate for space. “I thought you liked me.”

“I do-” Kara began, taking a tentative step after her.

“No, Kara.” Lena yelled, spinning back to face Kara, with a twisted snarl of total self-loathing. “Liked me.” Lena stressed, before throwing her hands up into the air as it all just boiled out of her, “God, I sound like a teenager. I thought you liked me. I thought you were touching me less because you were attracted to me. But then… I go to your party and you don’t… it was like you were ashamed of me, I sat in that fucking corner for two hours as everyone wished - out loud, I should say - that I would go. I sat in that fucking corner in the hope that you would speak to me for five minutes. For just five minutes. Because that… that would have made it all worth it. But you could barely look at me. And I realised you didn’t - don’t - like me… you’re ashamed of me, but you’re too kind to abandon me. Too noble and generous but even you have your limits. Of course, you didn’t want to spend your birthday talking to me. Of course you didn’t.”

Lena wanted to punch a wall, wanted to down the rest of her whiskey, wanted to do literally anything than be here in this moment watching the horror-struck expression on Kara’s face grow and grow with every word, watch Kara’s body tremble and shake with each harsh sweeping gesture.

“Lena, no… you…” Kara sobbed, striding towards her with fingers twitching at her sides, “you have got the complete wrong end of the stick. Actually, you’re right but also really wrong. And…” Kara swiped aggressively at the tears rolling down her cheeks as she approached Lena, stopping when the raven-haired woman flinched at their sudden closeness. “I screwed up but-”

“No. You don’t need to do this.” Lena cut in, holding a hand up to stop Kara, wanting Kara to know that her guilt was unnecessary and that she could finally be free of Lena.

“Lena, I’m so-”

“You don’t need to apologise.” Lena insisted, taking a deep breath to rein back in her swirl of her emotions. She could do this. She could let Kara go. “You were trying to be kind but you shouldn’t… god, if I make you that miserable, that uncomfortable, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to interact with me.”

“LENA!” Kara bellowed, stamping her foot to the ground and lifting her chin to reveal a determined expression.

Lena blinked in shock at the sudden volume and intensity; falling obediently quiet.

Kara placed her hands on her hips, took a deep breath, looked Lena straight in the eye with earnest, beseeching blue and declared, “I want to kiss you right now because that would be the big sweeping action that would prove to you that I mean what I’m about to say next but… you’ve been drinking… heavily from the looks of things.” Kara shot a displeased pout at the nearly empty bottle of whiskey as if it was all the bottle’s fault for Lena’s current state of inebriation and not the youngest Luthor’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. Kara turned back to face a stunned Lena, with a fond smile, “And I really want our first kiss to be one you remember and one you can fully consent to. So, you’re just going to have to believe me… please, please believe me when I say… I’m in love with you and I fucked up massively tonight. Really, really fucked up.”

“You never swear.” Lena murmured quietly, and it probably wasn’t what she should have been focusing on but her brain was currently stuck like a record scratch unable to fully comprehend what Kara had just told her; and the swear was just the cherry on top of an entire sundae of confusing and out-of-the-blue revelations.

“Which shows how much I believe that I fucked up.” Kara replied with a helpless shrug.

“But-”

“You were the only person I wanted to spend my birthday with.” Kara confessed, “Well, Alex at some point as well. But you mostly. Alex planned the party and I couldn’t…” Kara huffed out a frustrated breath and rolled her eyes, “she did this whole thing and I didn’t want to turn around and say I didn’t want it. That all I really wanted was a quiet night watching films with you because…” Kara sighed, “because then she’d know… To make it more bearable I invited you but there were so many other people, and I will be honest… I don’t even like half of them. Alex, just invited everyone I was friends on facebook with which is not a good barometer of friendship.”

Lena cleared her throat, none of it making sense, “Then why-”

“Did I ignore you?” Kara guessed with a painful wince.

“Yeah…” Lena muttered, wrapping her arms protectively around herself.

“Because… because I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that you hadn’t noticed how I felt about you.” Kara explained inching just that little bit closer towards Lena, attempting to bring them within touching distance of one another. “And I knew it was only a miracle that you hadn’t until now because…” Kara smiled a lopsided, rueful and self-deprecating smile, “Lena, I am not subtle. Not at all. And I knew… I knew if I interacted with you at the party… everyone else would be able to tell in an instant how I felt.”

Lena exhaled slow and deep, arms tightening their hold around herself, “And you didn’t want them knowing you liked me?”

“Love. Not like.” Kara corrected, patient yet firm, “Love. And no, I didn’t.”

Lena nodded once in understanding, letting out a hollow laugh, “I get it. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I loved me either.”

“Lena… no… no… you…” Kara rushed to explain, finally stepping close enough to reach out and place her hands gently on Lena’s curled biceps. Lena couldn’t help how she instinctively shifted closer, wanting to increase contact with Kara after being denied it for so long. “I didn’t want anyone knowing before you.” Kara admitted.

And that… that snapped something back into place for Lena.

Made the doubts screaming inside her head quieten down just enough to think… maybe…

Because… it was being last that had broken them the first time. Being the only one not to know and now…

“I didn’t want Stacy, who used to cheat off me in exams in college to know how I felt about you before you did.” Kara said, thumbs moving back and forth against the bare skin of Lena’s arms causing a swathe of goosebumps to rise like a wave in the wake of Kara’s every touch. “They didn’t deserve that. They didn’t deserve…” Kara’s jaw clenched, eyes darkening as she studied Lena’s face, “I was trying to protect you from them. They said horrible things about you and you should know, the minute after you left, I kicked everyone who so much as looked at you funny out. It was just me, Nia, Brainy and Kelly left… Alex, as well, but we had a rather heated argument before she was allowed to stay.” Kara bowed her head in shame, “I should have kicked them all out immediately but-”

“Then they would have known.” Lena finished for her.

“I had this whole thing planned.” Kara breathed out, her hands gradually shifting away from Lena’s arms around to her back, surrounding Lena in a loose hold, Kara’s eyes flickering over Lena’s face and body rapidly searching for even the slightest sign that Lena was uncomfortable with their contact. “Once everyone left, I had set-up the roof with lights and cushions and… I was going to tell you how I felt. I just had to make it through the birthday party from hell and I was trying so hard to keep to the plan. To not spoil it. To keep it a secret so that it could just be ours but... I…” Kara’s eyes slid shut and she inhaled a shuddering breath filled with pain. “I hurt you. And there is nothing I can say to make you forgive me, but I do… I do love you so much. And I will never, ever be ashamed of you.” Kara blinked her eyes back open and leaned forward to place a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “I just wanted it to be ours and not theirs. I didn’t want to share. You’re the only thing in my life that… I didn’t want to share.”

“Open your present.” Lena demanded, stepping out of Kara’s loving embrace.

“Lena-” Kara whimpered, pained at the sudden loss of closeness.

“Open your present, Kara.” Lena repeated, jerking her chin towards the sofa where the roughly wrapped present lay.

“I… okay…” Kara replied, watching Lena closely as she tried to make sense of Lena’s clear request. Kara walked cautiously over to the couch, picking up the gift with gentle hands. “Did you wrap it yourself?” Kara asked, her entire expression brightening as she stared down at the crooked, over sellotaped wrapping.

Lena harrumphed at the question, pursing her lips.

“You did, didn’t you?” Kara teased.

“The present isn’t the piss poor wrapping.” Lena replied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes that had the corners of Kara’s lips quirking even further upwards.

“Lena Luthor wrapped my present herself…", Kara whistled in awe, blue eyes twinkling with true delight for the first time that day, "what better gift is there?”

“Open it and you might find one.” Lena said, heart leaping into her throat as Kara’s deft fingers found a line of wrapping paper she could tuck them under.

The sound of paper ripping was deafening in the stillness; all Lena could do was watch and wait.

The paper fell away leaving behind a small black box, Kara shot Lena a hesitant look and it wasn’t until Lena nodded for her to continue that Kara clicked it open.

There was a pause.

A heavy, endless pause in which Lena couldn’t bring herself to even breathe.

“What is-” Kara began before cutting off immediately as she lifted up the beautiful bracelet made of nth metal and inscribed with ‘stronger together’ in Lena’s own cursive handwriting in both english and kryptonian.

The bracelet shined under the lights in Lena’s office, but in Lena’s opinion, Kara’s eyes shined impossibly brighter.

“You’re in love with me.” Kara whispered, seeing the present for everything Lena had hoped it would convey.

“Yes.” Lena confirmed because there was no hiding it now.

With trembling fingers Kara clasped the bracelet onto her wrist, long fingers tracing the words delicately inscribed with no small amount of wonder. Finally, she turned around and stared at Lena with so much sheer love that the youngest Luthor felt overwhelmed and like her heart might burst right out of her chest in its desire to be in Kara’s possession

Clearing her throat and clasping her hands behind her back, Lena gathered her courage and asked, “If I promise you I’ll remember it and that I am fully consenting… will you kiss me now?”

Kara was in front of her in the literal blink of the eye, hands reaching out to cup Lena’s cheeks as Lena’s hands moved to rest on Kara’s hips gently encouraging their bodies closer with a light tug.

“There is nothing I want more.” Kara assured with the widest grin that Lena had ever seen and couldn’t help but return.

Their first kiss could barely count as a kiss.

Their smiles were too wide to allow for it, but Lena wouldn’t change it even slightly. They pressed their smiles against one another, teeth knocking together and noses brushing.

It may not have been a successful kiss but it was tender and filled with so much joy that Lena wouldn’t describe it as anything less than perfect.

Their second kiss was an actual kiss, lips slotting together, tongues seeking each other out and teeth tugging whimpers and moans from one another in an endless cycle.

Their second kiss turned into a third, a fourth, a fifth.

They kissed until the sun rose.

Kissed until their lips ached and any remaining doubts Lena may have had were pushed back into the shadows by the light of Kara’s smile and blue eyes.

#supercorp #supercorp fic

650 notes · View notes

erensangel444 · 3 years

Text

focus, spence

spencer reid x reader

EEK! i’m excited for this one, turn it up!😫this is my first ever spencer reid fic, so i hope this is okay! i love criminal minds, and reid is baby so i thought why not?

this fic is spencer x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions, if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!

this fic has been proofread, but if i missed something just let me know!!!

a/n: this is probably the dirtiest fic i’ve written, so proceed with caution LMAO. cue the tik tok sound: i like to be fucked like a sluttt😁....okay i’m gonna stop now.

warnings: explicit language(most of my fics do contain language), sub!spencer, dom!reader, creampie(not explicitly detailed), overstimulation, oral(male receiving), unprotected sex(wrap it up!).

word count: 1.5k

summary: you come home to spencer eagerly describing how you should start a garden, yet you find yourself eager for something more.

spencer reid was, at times, the most complex person ever, but in this moment, he’d been dumbed down to soft moans and shaky words. “what happened to the book, spence?” you moaned as you continued to grind on his cock, “thought i told you to keep reading,”. spencer threw his head back at your words and at the pleasure he was receiving, lifting the book closer to his eyes, his glasses falling further down the bridge of his nose. you noted the light blush that had occupied his cheeks now that you were above him, and the way his mouth remained slightly agape, soft whimpers flowing out of it.

you had come home to spencer reading walden by henry david thoreau, and as he noticed your presence he began to ramble on about why you needed to start a mini-garden on your shared apartment terrace. though your heart did flips at his adorable eagerness, you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering further.

the way his hands moved along with each of his words to fully enunciate them, your mind flicking to images of his fingers plunging in and out of you. his lips moving so quickly, tongue slipping out every once in a while due to the speed of his words, more dirty images flashing across your mind.

not being able to take it anymore, you pushed spencer down on to the couch, his ramble quickly coming to an end as he peered up at you, brown eyes wide and pupils dilated. “why don’t you tell me your plan for our garden while i ride your cock?” you rasped out, spencer visibly gulping at your sentence. “uh, um..” “spit it out spence,” “yes please! please...want it,” spencer whimpered.

you unbuckled spencer’s pants, tapping the side of his hip for him to lift up so that you could pull them down his legs. you began to palm spencer through his boxers, spencer letting out a soft moan at the sensation, “fuck, need it please!” spencer pleaded. you smiled up at him, reaching for the hem of his boxers, but before you could tap his hip for him to lift up, spencer’s hips were already raised off of the couch.

you grinned at that, peeling spencer’s boxers off of his legs, now facing his cock. it looked almost painful, how hard he was. you lightly circled your finger on the tip, spencer whimpering loudly. “grab the book spence,” you ordered. “huh?” spencer spoke, confused, but also slowly becoming lost in the slight pleasure you were giving him, truly trying to hold himself back from thrusting his hips up for more. “did i stutter,” you spoke sternly, looking up at spencer, moving your tongue down to the base of his cock to lick a stripe up his length.

spencer moaned, hands fumbling for the hard-covered book. “now why’d this book have you so set on starting a garden? you’ve got to provide some evidence, pretty boy,” you spoke, as your hand lightly jerked spencer’s cock. spencer racked his brain more than usual, his thoughts becoming hazy from the pleasure as he tried to recall what pages he had read. he flipped through the book as your mouth suckled on his tip, spencer moaning for a moment as he flipped to the page he had remembered. “th-this is the result of my experience in raising beans,” spencer began reading.

spencer groaned as your began to bob your mouth up and down his cock, pausing his reading for a moment as he moaned at the feeling. “fuck,” the word sounding so foreign coming out of spencer’s mouth, “loo-look so pretty,” he groaned, and instead of voicing out a response calling him the pretty one, you began to suck more eagerly at the compliment. you tapped his thigh to signal for him to keep reading as he moaned, picking the book back up.

“but abo-above all,” spencer’s words were shakier than before, his breaths becoming more shallow, “harvest as early as-shit!..possible,” spencer couldn’t contain it anymore, moans falling out of his lips with ease, as he attempted to thrust into your mouth. “fuck! fuck! i’m gonna cum please,” spencer moaned. you jerked your hand quicker at his words, focusing your tongue on the tip of his cock, as spencer’s whimpers grew in volume, and finally, with a loud moan, his cum flooded your throat.

you jerked his cock leisurely until you felt you had fully milked him for all he was worth, pulling away and sticking out your tongue to show him the cum you held in your mouth. spencer groaned at the sight as you swallowed his cum, not enjoying the taste, but not hating it either. “fuck that was so good,” spencer said softly.

“who said we were done?” you grinned at spencer, as his mouth fell agape, “but-but i can’t,” “sure you can spence, look your cock is still hard, that’s an issue we’re gonna have to solve yeah?” “but i-i just came, i don’t know if i can- it’s not,” you cut him off, your hand turning his face so that his eyes met yours.

“let’s pause for a moment, yeah?” you spoke softly, pausing the scene you had dived into. “if you really don’t think you can, tell me. i won’t be mad. and if at any moment you can’t take anymore, tell me and i’ll stop like this-” you snapped. “but if you think you can be a good boy, and take one more, tell me.” you rubbed your thumb against his hot cheek as he looked at you so innocently.

“i-i can take it,” he whispered. “are you sure, i’m okay either way, i want this to be good for you,” you smiled at him. “i want it. ple-please i need it,” spencer whimpered.

you grinned at him, pulling his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. “god, such a good boy,” you spoke, your words fluttering as you lowered your entrance down onto his cock. spencer’s moans were louder than before, his facial expressions so lewd at the incomprehensible pleasure he was receiving. “oh my! fuck!” he moaned as you began to grind on his cock.

“what happened to the book, spence?” you moaned as you continued to grind on his cock, “thought i told you to keep reading,”. spencer threw his head back at your words and at the pleasure he was receiving, lifting the book closer to his eyes, his glasses falling further down the bridge of his nose. you noted the light blush that had occupied his cheeks now that you were above him, and the way his mouth remained slightly agape, soft whimpers flowing out of it.

not even a second later, spencer’s hand fell back down onto the couch, the book along with it. “fuck i-i can’t read anymore! just need- just need to cum!”, groans and moans flying from spencer’s mouth. “yeah? gonna be a good boy and cum for me? god i’m so close spence,” you spoke. spencer took your words as initiative, his hands flying to your hips as he rocked you back and forth on his cock. your own moans growing in volume as you locked onto spencer’s lips, tongues slotting against the other’s.

“fuck i’m gonna cum spence!” “please cum, please!” spencer begged, not sure how much longer he could hold on. your walls convulsed at spencer’s words, the wave of your orgasm washing over you as you creamed all over spencer’s cock. spencer moaned “ah! ah! ah!” in succession, each moan growing louder until he came, the warmth spreading inside of your walls, “fuck!” spencer all but screamed.

you both sat, spencer’s cock still inside of you, your head resting on his shoulder. “so we should definitely start a garden,” you smiled at him. spencer’s smile genuine at your words, his expression soft as he recovered from the two orgasms he had. “let me go get you some water,” you spoke softly as you lifted yourself off of his spencer’s cock, wincing at the slight burn.

you walked into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet, pouring water from the tap into the cup, as his cum began to slowly leak down your legs. “here you go,” you spoke softly as you sat down next to spencer who was still trying to steady his breathing. you rubbed his chest softly, comforting him as he drank his water. “let’s get you in the bath yeah?” spencer nodded as you grabbed his hand leading him to the bathroom.

you turned on the bath water, grabbing a lavender bath bomb from under your sink cabinet. you sat the bath bomb on the side of the tub, walking over the toilet to go through your after-sex routine.

there you sat in the bath, spencer in between your legs as you traced your fingernails across his shoulder blades. “so what do you wanna grow first? i was thinking bell peppers,” spencer turned around, smiling up at you as he nodded enthusiastically.

fin

i hope you guys enjoyed! this is my first spencer reid x reader fic, so i hope it’s okay! i just planted a few shrubs and vegetables myself so i felt this was fitting. i appreciate all the love on my previous fics, thank you guys so much! drink some water, remind yourself that you are enough and you are worthy.

thank you for reading, have a good day!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid filth #sub!spencer #sub!spencer reid #dom!reader

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eureka-its-zico · 3 years

Text

Irrevocably Yours Pt. 2

Part 1

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has some of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So Part 2 is that slow burn build up (with possible cute moments?) and part 3 will be the actual SMUTTY goodness. Hopefully this is something cute and fluffy that is enjoyable and helps progress the story a little more so when a full length next part of a bunch of smut comes it all makes sense. Or idk anymore lol I edited this thing four times and I just really hope you all like it Please enjoy this wordy mess. I wasn’t sure how to properly write it out the end and yeah...I winged it. If it needs to be fixed lmk please!! As always, I hope you all enjoy. Much love, Jenn

P.s. when I wrote this I listened to Lauv’s “I Like Me Better,” and Pink Sweat$ Feat. Kehlani’s “At My Worst,” on repeat like crazy.

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 15,496 (I know:it’s a hefty boy)

Genre: Fluffy/Smutty, slow burn,

The next day at school you weren’t a hundred percent sure what was going to happen. And sure, maybe you did wake up from a dream replaying that moment in the mud. The ending is a little bit different. This time, dream you didn’t let your chance to kiss him go by. When the opportunity presented itself, and you were both looking at one another like before, you’d leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t surprised to feel him kissing you back.

You could still feel the ghost of the imagination of him leaning down to press his lips against yours. The way he leaned in; eyes soft with longing as his body leaned deeper in against you. The weight of him pressing you into the mud until you were sure an imprint of this moment would be there forever. This imaginary kiss you’d shared was sweet, chaste, and everything you could’ve hoped for. Deepening at the last second as your alarm blared you back into realty.

It made you want to ring your hands through your hair in frustration.

Your whole walk to school was nothing but foggy images of the dream on repeat. A mixture of yesterday’s events accompanied them with each frame until you weren’t sure which was the actual moments or what your head had created. I mean, you did know he didn’t kiss you, but...the look in his eyes. Maybe Jungkook hadn’t, but there was that moment you swore maybe he felt the painful comedic romance moment of it all too.

All these unanswered what if’s you'd created had built an impossible chasm that seemed to stretch infinitely wider between you in your head. In the end, you were your own bully as your mind stayed up until three that morning playing out every scenario you could think of. Even the ones that ended with you probably reading everything wrong, because what did you know about body language? Or, more specifically, boys built like Jeon Jungkook.

It didn’t matter that you had two tests today and never finished your homework for home period, but what the hell. Nothing like hopelessly daydreaming about the boy who may or may not have flirted with you and harmonized along to songs with a hidden voice of an angel, am I right? And sure, a large part of your night was spent chastising yourself half the time to remind you there was no way in hell Jungkook could feel that way towards you. Even just a little. Your inner monologue of bringing yourself back down to earth, another culprit in the growing list of reasons why none of your assignments were completed.

What can you say? You were a mess.

Your only game plan you’d been able to agree on was just to daydream out the window. Writing out your own hapless love story starring the boy who sat across from you in the home room. With a silent plea to the universe that you weren’t called on to answer any questions.

Your arrival at homeroom was met with barely seconds to spare. The bell rang behind you, and a few other students, as you rushed towards your desk.

“Hurry, hurry to your seats! Or I’ll write you up as late!”

Mr. Choi was all talk. Everyone knew it and his excessive arm movements to rush every body that passed his desk made him look exactly like a conductor. His crazy movements were enough to distract you for a split second from the one person you were desperate to ignore.

“Good morning, class. I hope you are all fully rested and awake for class this morning. Let’s have us open our books to page two hundred and forty-two and continue on with our lesson.”

In unison the sound of backpacks unzipping with students reaching in their backpacks to bring out textbooks filled the class. The only person who didn’t currently have said book was holding his hand up, and seated directly across from you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

“Seonsaengnim, I’m sorry. I haven’t received my textbooks yet.”

“Ah, that’s alright, Jungkook. You can go ahead and share with Y/N, again.”

You hoped your face wasn’t giving away the panic you felt rising up to match the blush that was streaking across your cheeks. Jungkook’s hand was already on the leg of your desk. His fingers tips grazing across your knee in passing as his hand wrapped around the bar and used it to bring you closer to him. You kept your eyes glued to page two hundred and forty-three and refused to look in his direction. Jungkook seemed to find a way to remedy this; his hand came into view and grabbed hold of the book corner and slid it over to his side. And as if he was the world’s greatest magician, he now had your attention.

Your eyes immediately shoot up to acknowledge his presence, instead of staying on the book. You knew that devilish smirk of his would be there to greet you even before you actually saw it.

“Well, good morning to you too, Y/N.”

His voice practically hummed a tune as he spoke. His eyes heavily searched your face, and you prayed whatever he found wasn’t any lasting signs of rosy cheeks.

“Good morning, Jungkook. I hope you slept well.”

“I slept very well, thank you.”

“That’s good-“

He cut you off fast, his next words a hush of teasing: “Even though some crazy girl tried to smother me in mud yesterday.”

Your world narrowed in on his smug position in his chair, but quickly realized he just wanted your attention. The smile he wore softened around the edges as his eyes tried to look away from you and yet found their way back. You did your best to hide your smile and must have failed miserably for his face noticeably brightened.

“I’m sure if that’s what she was doing - which I doubt - you probably deserved it.”

Jungkook pretended to be wounded and caused you to practically jump out of your seat when his free hand landed on top of yours.

“I can’t believe you think I deserve to be smothered,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes in a weak attempt to look away from him. Anything to not be swallowed up by how stupidly cute he looked in this exact moment. The fingers that held your pencil lazily tapping on the pages of the math book to bring his focus to something else that wasn’t you.

“We need to pay attention.”

It was the only valuable excuse you could come up with to look away from him. But who were you kidding? You didn’t have to be looking in Jungkook’s direction to be painfully aware that he was there. His own gaze burned straight through you and left a trail of heat everywhere his eyes seemed to land.

Right now, you were aware they were on your lips and stirring every emotion from your dream you tried to suppress. Plus, you weren’t being cute. Unless Jungkook found the sight of you chewing your bottom lip into dust attractive.

It was a terrible nervous habit that seemed to only backfire right this second. You were sure he was ready to make a comment on it. You waited patiently for it to come in between you mindlessly copying equations off the board and the sea of arms flying up to answer whatever it was you’d just written. My gosh, you were trying so damn hard to not pay attention that you were doing nothing but paying attention to him.

Please don’t let him just see I’m doodling.

Mr. Choi was in the middle of showing how to work out a long equation when you decided it was safe to give Jungkook a glance. It was instantaneous how quickly you regretted it.

You jumped back against your seat in a weak attempt to recover some space. You weren’t exactly sure how you’d missed it -missed him- getting so close, but you had. Jungkook’s face was mere inches from yours and it took everything to not show him you weren’t at all bothered.

“Jungkook,” you whispered fiercely. “What.are.you.doing!”

Jungkook ignored your question. His eyes squinting as they looked around the side of your head. The gesture made you increasingly subconscious until you couldn’t keep your hand from going up to brush alongside it.

“What? What is it?”

You were expecting the worst.

“I think I see some mud still stuck inside your ear.”

And like magic your earlier blush reappeared. Your tongue rolled against the bottom of your teeth in a weak attempt to keep yourself from smiling. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to stop it as the urge to give in tugged mercilessly at your lips. The playful glint in his eyes was enough to keep the panic of how incredibly close he still was. Your eyes hopelessly glancing at the pair of lips that plagued your dreams.

Jungkook noticed.

And how did you know this, you might ask?

Jungkook gave it away by the dramatic way his lower lip was drawn in by his teeth. Every movement he made sure was exaggerated and stupidly slow. His eyes watch for your reaction. He didn’t have to wait long; your eyes were glued to them long before his teeth joined the equation. You should’ve felt more embarrassed at your own blunt display - or maybe at his -but, god help you, you weren’t.

You tore your gaze away from him and did your best to pretend whatever part of the lesson you’d missed was interesting. The dirt on your shoes could’ve been more interesting at this moment; anything to keep you from looking back at him.

“I rinsed my hair three times in the shower. Thank you very much.”

“Did you think of me while you were washing yourself clean?”

If what Jungkook was after was seeing your face light up brighter than a tomato he’d succeeded. Your cheeks instantly flushed and felt scolding hot. The only line of defense you could think of to fight the devilish look in his eyes was to give him a smack on his arm. The motion only caused his sinister smile to turn into a full blown grin; a bark of laughter leaving him seconds later.

Jungkook chuckled out an, “Ouch!” His body leaning back, faux wounded, and rays of sunshine pouring out of him in waves.

“I meant when you were getting the mud out of your hair.” His voice carried the singing sweetness of his laughter; airy and light. This boy who you did think of in the shower. All hard edges and softness; sour and sweet. Your very own sour patch kid. “I mean, I thought of you when I tried scrubbing it out from behind my ears.”

Your heart gave a brief jump at his omission. What you wished you would’ve focused on was the fact he’d admitted to thinking of you...in his own shower. But nope! Instead, your mind appeared to focus more on the fact it was while he scrubbed at his ears.

“I scrubbed my ears too.”

Oh. My. God, you inwardly cringed.

Is that really what your magical brain decided to say in return? Jungkook leaned back in, eyes inspecting not just your ear, but your entire space. Recklessly moving in dangerously close, and your heart was ready to beg for mercy. Whether to completely close the space between you or to stop teasing, of which you weren’t sure.

“It appears you didn’t do that good of a job,” he huffed.

A gurgled scream flew into your throat; the sound was utterly ridiculous and Jungkook ate it up. His head flew back in laughter as your hand moved to swat at him again.

The disruption turned the attention of your teacher directly to the two of you, and Mr. Choi was quick to address it.

“Jean Jungkook! Y/L/N, Y/N!”

The both of you rose from your seats in unison. Jungkook’s rise the definition of graceful, while yours in comparison was met with anxiety and your knees colliding with your desk. Your small “Oomph,” of pain sending him into a fit of giggles beside you. The hand you sent in to pinch at his leg only sent him into another fit.

“Y/N!”

Stupid, stupid! Of course he would see.

“Seonsaengnim!”

To appease him, you felt your body respond in a ninety-degree salute. Your face keeping down to stare at your shoes and praying you weren’t about to be sent out of the room.

“Would you mind explaining what Jungkook and you found so interesting that the two of you felt like you didn’t need to be a part of class.”

God, it wasn’t a question. He really wanted you to tell him, and what could you say?

“Oh, he was just asking me if I was in the shower...thinking of him. And he was thinking of me too!”

Which wasn't a lie. Maybe it wasn’t as dirty as he might have intended, but it was enough to make your cheeks flush to life with their usual color these days. Your mind was still racing with an appropriate answer for Mr. Choi. You were taking so long you were ready to blurt out anything he might want to hear.

“Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook gave a respectful bow and lifted his head. His full attention now resting on the impatiently waiting man at the front of the class. “We were discussing the fact that you, respectfully, have written the equation wrong on the board.”

The entire class seized up. A collective air was taken at Jungkook’s bold attempt to correct him. It was awkwardly obvious that he wasn’t happy at the idea of being corrected. However, Jungkook remained unfazed and waited for the right time to speak.

“Is that so?” He snapped. “If it is so wrong, Jeon, then please, come and fix it for me.”

You were sure his order for Jungkook to go to the front would make him back down . No one enjoyed doing class work on the board up front for all to see. But you’d forgotten Jungkook wasn’t like everyone else. He kept his head high and moved to grab his cane; his hand wrapping tightly to its handle. Jungkook stepped out from inside his desk and let his feet carry him forward. He walked with a noticeable lack of a limp and you were willing to bet that strike of pride was costing him.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t believe that Jungkook was able to walk without it. It was just that your memory forced you to recall the pain he was in during the field trip. The flashes of frustration as his eyes threatened to spill over with tears.

Jungkook came to stand beside Mr. Choi. His hand reaching out to take the marker that the older man had held out waiting for him to prove his equation wrong. He plucked it from the older man’s hand and moved the last few inches to stand in front of the board. His eyes scanning the problem quickly. Your breath held tight in your chest as you watched him get permission to grab the eraser. The class transfixed on his every movement.

You wondered how many of the girls in your class focused on him like you were. The same way your eyes ate up every simple movement he made. The notable flex of his back while he stretched to erase the middle and last part of what Mr. Choi had written out.

“You had a good start here, Seonsaengnim.” Jungkook paused to stretch out his hand. Fingers marking underneath the start of the problem. “But you didn’t multiply these after they were divided, and because of this the middle became wrong. With your core of the problem being wrong the solution was never able to end in its final conclusion.”

With every word, Jungkook’s voice became more self-assured. His presence enveloping the room and demanding the attention he’d already received without question. Mr. Choi watched on with his arms crossed; index finger hugging his mouth in concentration as he watched Jungkook work. From the back of the class, you could see students writing down the new formula. Some of them realized the obvious error Mr. Choi had made.

Jungkook looked at the problem over again on repeat. If it’d been you, you would have left it where it was knowing you’d done what no one else did. But Jungkook wanted to know, for himself, that it was correct.

Finally, he stepped back from the whiteboard and handed the marker back to Mr. Choi. Who looked measurably impressed with him. His index finger he’d used for thinking now covered up a timid smile before he dropped it to grab a hold of the marker.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Jungkook.”

Jungkook gave him a passing bow as he made his way back towards the back of the class. Back to you. It took everything you had not to notice how everyone’s view of him seemed to change. Even the honor students; the ones bound for scholarship glory to prestigious colleges now seemed to take new interest in him.

You’d heard stories about Jungkook, like everyone else did. The Boy Wonder. The boy who seemed unfairly good at everything. Before you’d ever met him, a part of you believed there wasn’t a way the universe would seriously do that. And yet, as he moved to sit back down beside you, you suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of being below average. Your subconscious rose up to stop whatever sunlight you’d felt at his earlier words, and crushed it until it began to dim. All but snuffing it out.

Jungkook fell back into the seat at his desk riding the high of confidence he’d gained from proving he’d know how to fix the answer. Not just know it; teach it. The air around him completely changed. He was the sun and the rest of you were becoming helplessly lost in his orbit. From the backwards glances of the others around you, you were pretty sure they weren’t going to mind one bit.

Either Jungkook was honestly oblivious to all the attention or he just didn’t care. He practically beamed as he leaned himself closer to you completely unaware at how breathless he made you. That smile you’d admired during your field trip showed itself beaming and bright. He was so damn pleased with himself his eyes sparked with joy and you wish you could’ve pouted. Maybe found the strength not to care or to wonder if he could see how he affected you.

You wanted to pout and be in your own bubble, damn it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. I don’t think he’ll bother us again.”

Us.

Those butterflies you’d sworn to yourself you were not feeling towards him began to come to life. Or were they butterflies? You weren’t sure what to call the feeling Jungkook gave you.

Sure, Jungkook made your heart thunder in your chest like a caged animal. And yea, maybe you swore to yourself there was an attraction there that you couldn’t explain, but that was just your dopamine talking. That didn’t mean the two of you were soulmates or the universe decided to bring you both together by a mess of unseen choices.

But...when Jungkook looked at you this way it was hard to tell your thundering heart anything else.

The two of you continued to look at one another. A heartbeat of time passing between you with Jungkook waiting for your reply. You watched the edges of his smile start to wilt as realization set in that you weren’t planning to reply. No smile or teasing remark was headed his way, and just as fast as he noticed it, determination swiftly replaced the light weighted joy he’d shown moments earlier.

“Hey, you don’t have to worry. I’m positive he will leave us alone the rest of the class. I promise.”

God, why did he have to make things so difficult? When Jungkook spoke the words, “I promise,” they’d been so earnest. He meant them. Here he was trying to turn the tables and be your knight, instead of you being his. It would have worked, but what he didn’t know was that you weren’t worried about Mr. Choi. Not really.

No one could tear you down further than you were able to do to yourself.

He was still waiting for the answer that you would never give. You turned to face forward in your chair and tried to forget the ripple of sadness that moved over his face. The cost of your stubbornness suddenly felt too high. No matter how it made you feel though, you refused to look over in his direction.

An awkward chasm had built between the two of you. Mostly, well, obviously it was all because of you. You figured Jungkook would eventually stop looking at you. You prayed he would stop. Every time he did it your body became painfully aware of his gaze, and the longing it held for you to acknowledge him. And every time you remained facing front. You no longer could pretend to focus, however, and that seemed to be all the signs Jungkook needed to know you were in some way paying attention.

Your notebook that’d been left unattended on the desk became his private art museum. The doodles started off silly and slowly morphed into small faces and objects that held impressive detail. You tried your best to ignore it; his arm practically took up most of the space on your desk. The angle forced him to shoulder into your space to the point that if you did finally turn to look at him you’d run inches away from his cheek.

You were doing your best to pay attention to whatever your teacher was doing at the front. Your eyes watched as a wave of hands went up to answer questions you’d never heard. Yours kept sliding back down to the latest doodle he was making. The latest one he was working on had forced Jungkook to move further inland on your notepad. His forearm getting dangerously close to having to rest in your lap.

It continued like this the remainder of class. For all the effort you’d put in the last half hour of pretending he wasn’t there, Jungkook shattered it within seconds.

He’d repositioned himself with each new doodle he started. His shoulder wedged itself against yours and his forearm had completely taken up what little space was left on your desk. You were trying very hard to not pay attention to how said forearm was dangerously close to your chest. There was no hiding the redness of your cheeks.

Without thinking, you whipped your head to look at him and almost yelled. You knew he was close, but nothing prepared you for this.

“Excuse me,” you whispered, voice incredulous.

Jungkook turned to look at you and...was he pouting? His eyes played up on the childish quality as he turned to you and batted his eyes.

“Can I help you?”

“Ugh, can I help you? Do you need paper or something?”

“I have paper right here. Thanks.”

Jungkook patted the notepad with the end of his pen. Satisfied with his answer he turned his attention back to his latest artistic endeavor.

“You know this is my desk. Right?”

“I like to think of it more like our desk. Sharing a space like we shared music.”

“Ya, Jungkook. You realize you blackmailed me into using my ipod.”

Jungkook feigned shock. His mouth dropping open and his eyes brows going too high up into his hairline. The entire scene was exaggerated and ridiculous. The scene forced you to roll your lips against your teeth to keep from smiling. The effort it took to hide your grin wasn’t unnoticed by Jungkook, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that’d been his goal all along.

“Blackmail sounds so crass. I like to think of it as bargaining.”

“So we agree it’s called blackmail, then.”

The theatrics of his face dropped into a serious stare that left his face completely blank. Void of all emotion except the annoyance that drew a heavy frown from his face. It was stupidly cute and this time you did allow yourself to smile. Your fingers reached out to grab one of his puffed out cheeks and gave it a sweet pinch, like a grandmother, and cooed in his direction.

“Oooooh Jungkookie, don’t frown. We’ve all gotta be wrong sometimes.”

He playfully nipped at your hand to make you snatch it away. It took everything in you not to make a sound at his sudden movement. Your mouth hung open in an awkward smile-shout as you brought your handle against your chest.

“I think you’re misinterpreting the facts here. Maybe you hit your head on a small pebble or something when you fell in the mud.”

“You mean when you pulled me in.”

He shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “I don’t think I recall any force being used yesterday. You just fell on my chest trying to take advantage of me in my time of need.”

Now it was your turn to look deadpanned in his direction. Jungkook didn’t try to hide his wicked smile, however, and the cage of butterflies that were housed in your gut were released all over again.

“Your appa must be a lawyer. It’d explain why you’re so good at bullshitting.”

“CEO, actually. But I would say you’re close. They are also full of shit.”

You weren’t sure what to say to this omission about his father. Underneath the sarcasm felt like a heavy chasm that spoke of the death of a relationship. Your curiosity threatened to get the best of you, but you decided to just throw it away. Filing it away inside a little folder you’d made for little known facts about him.

The bell rang and the mass of bodies in class all began to rise from their seats. All of them eager to rush from the classroom and do whatever plans they’d made to enjoy their little bit of freedom. You were reaching for your bookbag when Jungkook’s hand was just there. A part of you worried he’d decided to play a game of keep away, or something that fit his playful mood, Instead, he placed it down on the desk.

“Oh, thank you, Jungkook.”

God. Why were you staring? Why was he staring?

The room was still filled with the small display of chaotic teenage energy. Most of them had already filed out of the classroom, while some were still putting things away. Honor students were arguing with the teacher about markings he’d left on papers. Small groups of friends chatting happily as they moved in tight clusters through the door. So much was going on around you, and yet the only person you were aware of was him.

“You’re welcome. Have a good lunch, Y/N.”

The playful air that’d been around him had completely disappeared. This boy who stood before you now was more reminiscent of when you’d first met than the boy you’d grown to like. What had made him grow so distant?

“You too, Kookie.”

It slipped out. You couldn’t stop yourself. He’d already started to walk away in his retreat. As soon as his pet name you’d given him hit his ears he completely stopped moving. His head whipped around to glance at you with that devilish grin raised high on his cheeks.

“Kookie? Are you calling me a snack?”

If your eyes could’ve gotten any wider, they would’ve left your skull. The embarrassment was hot on your cheeks and you knew Jungkook would tease you without mercy for the slip up. By the look in his eyes you could tell he was never going to let this go. Not ever. He would be too happy to remind you of this until the day you died. Or until graduation. Whichever came first.

This time you scooped up your bookbag and snatched your book off the desk clutching them to your chest. In your haste to grab them and go, your knee collided with the edge of the desk, but you’d worry about that possible bruise later. You just needed to flee before Jungkook got any closer.

“No, no. It was an accident.”

“You called me a snack by accident?”

You were backing up towards the safety of the open hallway. Your shoulders shrugging too high and your laugh too high-pitched in your attempt to play it cool.

“No snack nicknames here. It was just a slip of the tongue. I must just be hungry, ya know.”

“Are you hungry for me?”

Oh, he was intolerable sometimes. It didn’t matter how flustered he made you. A part of you knew his endless teasing was growing on you. You liked it, and the sane part of you wondered if you’d gone crazy.

“Ya, Jungkook-”

“I think you mean, Kookie,” he cut in.

Jungkook held a single finger up to silence you. He’d stopped moving towards you and let out a laugh as you tried to swat his hand down. He looked so much happier than he did moments ago. That alone made his teasing at your expense worth it.

“No I mean, Jungkook. It’s the name your parents gave you.” You stated, proud that your voice sounded more stable than you felt. “I’m gonna go eat my lunch now. You should do the same and I’ll...see you later.”

You waited for him to argue. To continue to make comments in passing to keep your face rosy and flushed. He surprised you by just standing there in silence. His smile wide on his face and eyes looking at you like you’d held the moon. A look you weren’t used to and made you unsure how to respond.

You started to walk back towards the door and found yourself disappointed when he didn’t follow. You sent him an awkward wave as your arms still held onto your things from your desk. Jungkook showed his amusement by giving you a wave in return.

“See you later, Y/N.”

At his words you turned on your heel and headed out towards the courtyard. No longer eager to eat your lunch that you’d packed. Your mind replayed his words and knew, without a doubt, he would keep his word.

—————-

Lunch went by as quickly as it came. Instead of eating your lunch with friends, you’d opted for sulking in the auditorium. Absentmindedly taking small bits off your food as you considered what had happened between Jungkook and you.

There was flirting there. You may be a little delusional, but you weren’t delusional about this. It was obvious to anyone who witnessed it and yet you tried to deny its existence at every turn. Of course, you knew why.

It just didn’t make logical sense. You were two opposites that shouldn’t be in the least bit interested in the other. Well, that didn’t really seem correct when it came to Jungkook. He was attractive to everyone and probably even inanimate objects. But you...you just couldn’t see yourself that way. You’d only ever had one relationship in your life and it had been short-lived and in the third grade.

Throwing what little was left of your sandwich back inside it’s little brown coffin, you removed yourself from your spot. A huff left you as you reached out to pick up your mess and started to hop back down the steps one-by-one.

You weren’t sure what walking around was going to do. For the hundredth time since this day started, you were lost in your own head. The only thing you knew for certain was that you’d hoped to run into him again. A thought came to you that maybe, just this day, he’d shown up in the school's cafeteria.

You could think of a million excuses for why you’d need to go into the cafeteria and it wouldn’t be weird. Just the thought of not coming off weird, while most certainly being weird, made you beam at your own creativity.

You’d reached the last step and we’re crossing the field when you noticed, on the other side, the very boy you were looking for. He was alone and sitting under the shade of the only tree next to the amphitheater. His back against the bark and a knee drawn up to give his notepad a place to perch. Whatever he was writing, drawing, or formulating held his interest and refused to let him look up.

All your previous bravado deflated in a second. It would be harder to deny you weren’t actively seeking him out if you went to him now. But, who said that you wanted too?

Grabbing the strap of your book bag tight, you started back on your mission. Your legs made quick work across the field. It wasn’t until there was only a few feet left between you that he looked up. His brow still furrowed in tight creases of concentration as he decided if you were a friend or foe. Your feet almost tripped over themselves when he smiled at you.

“Y/N!” He called happily. “What brings you over here?”

“I came looking for my snack.”

The surprise on his face made your bold choice of a response worth it. Jungkook, being who he was, quickly recovered and set his notebook and pencil down beside him. He placed his arms casually on his propped up leg and leaned forward as if he was about to tell you a secret.

“Well, you found me. Why did you come looking for me? Really.”

You tried to think quickly of what to say. The idea of telling him the truth, that you’d just wanted to see him, felt painfully honest and might press him to ask for you to explain. How could you explain that in the short time you’d met him he was both the most interesting and infuriating man you’d ever met. But he was also the most beautiful, and had a delicate softness under his hard exterior that you were growing to love. He was basically the perfect description of the onion from Shrek.

An idea clicked in your head and your hands quickly moved inside your bag and produced another brown bag.

“I wanted to come see if you’d eaten. I had some spare kimchi rice ball’s my omma made.”

You extended the bag out to him. Your eyes locked together as you waited for him to either accept it or deny it. Jungkook surprised you by leaning forward and taking it gently from you. It took some effort, but he crossed his legs -his bad one in an awkward position - and plopped the bag down between his legs.

You moved to sit beside him in the grass and took your book bag off your shoulder and into your lap. You watched as he moved to open the bag and peered cautiously inside.

“It’s not a bomb,” you chided.

“I never know with you.”

You rolled your eyes with a smile spreading like wildfire across your lips. Jungkook was so charismatic it felt inevitable and fighting against it was futile. He took a large bite of the rice ball and practically swooned. His eyes had fallen shut and a ridiculous chanting of endless “Mhm’s” had started rising up around you.

“Should I leave you two alone?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped open and for a moment you were worried maybe you did pull him out of some weird food ritual. His eyes were blank and then, all at once, he was back to being his usual animated self. The hand that held the rice ball shaking in your direction before shoving what was left inside his mouth.

“This is unbelievably delicious.” He mumbled around his food. “You said your omma made these?”

“Yup!”

You’d said it in English just to dramatically pop the P at the end. Extending out your own kind of dramatics to match Jungkook’s. You leaned your hands back into the grass and noticed Jungkook watch your every move as you did.

“Is your omma married?”

Your face fell into a deadpan stare as you replied, “Seriously? Of course her and my appa are still married, you creep.”

“If you can cook like your omma, Y/N I’m willing to lend you my amazing tutoring services. All for the low price of making things as delicious as this.”

He was already mid-way through shoving the second rice ball in his mouth. His head tilted back to drop it down. A piece of rice must have dislodged itself from its balled shape, because he erupted in a coughing fit. You couldn’t help but laugh as you handed him your water.

“I think I’ll steer clear of rice treats. Just to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

Jungkook was about to lift the bottle up to his lips and stopped. His eyes falling on you with a playful glare. You held your hands up in mock surrender as you leaned forward. Your hands clap together to get pieces of grass and soil from your hands.

While he drank the water you’d offered up the two of you fell into companionable silence. You didn’t mind waiting and Jungkook was happy that you did. When he’d finished with the bottle, he set it down beside him. His hand moving like a flopping fish in your direction to make you give him something that you’d had no idea he’d asked for.

“Come on. Let’s see your math homework.”

“For what?”

“To start your tutoring. Duh.”

You hated how cute he’d made the word sound. The way his lips smiled around it and left him beaming at you like a little kid on Christmas.

“Can we pass? We just left the class and I hate math. A lot.”

Jungkook tsked you but didn’t look disappointed.

“You can’t get better at something if you give up on it. Luckily for you, you’ve got the best person in the subject to tutor you.”

“For a fee,” you pointed out.

“All the best things come with a price. I’m most definitely one of them. Now. Book.”

His hand movements were more controlled now. His fingers simply waved once -twice- for you to hurry it up and place what he’d asked in his hand. You really didn’t want any part of this. The thought was sweet, but when you said you hated math you meant it. So yeah, maybe you were grumbling a little as you reached inside your book bag and taking a little longer than was necessary to hand it over.

Jungkook took it from you in one smooth motion and had it open to the spot previously in class. All your homework problems you’d left unfinished glaring against the white of the page. His eyes were already scanning over what little problems you’d written down. A clicking noise from his closed mouth reminding you why exactly you hadn’t finished more of it. The reason was sitting right in front of you.

His hand flicked back out and he held it open. His eyes never lifted off the page as he demanded, “Pencil.”

“What the heck? Why am I supplying everything.”

“Cause I’m supplying myself,” he shot back. His hands taking the pencil you handed over to him. “Plus, I also can’t seem to find any in my bag.”

“You didn’t even look.”

Jungkook gave a graceful shrug. His attention was fully engrossed in the problems. You weren’t ready for how cute he looked. How adorable those concentration creases in his forehead made him look, even deadly serious, with his fingers tapping the pencil absentmindedly on the paper. When he figured out what was missing from the equation he quickly erased and reconfigured everything on the page.

You were staring intently at him, both because his angle’s were ridiculously handsome but also, the way the sun fell down on him here, peaking through the trees, felt like magic. It was hard to believe the universe was more than just molecules and that luck was thrown out randomly. If it was, maybe you’d caught some.

Your thoughts were running wild and your concentration was no longer in the safe zone. Maybe that’s why when he finally looked up from the notebook and found you staring he’d smiled. Not his teasing one. Or the condescending either. This smile was soft like a secret, and directed only at you. \

“See something you like?”

His voice was gentle in his playfulness. As if he wanted to take the cautionary approach in case you were spooked.

“Maybe I do.”

A smile of your own spread to match his and Jungkook wasn’t surprised. He was just happy, and it was a lovely sight to see. He looked away from you with his hand moving up to smooth out the hair on the back of his neck. He flicked the pencil down on the notebook and brought it forward for you to see.

“Let’s get back to this. I’ll be honest with you. It’s pretty bad. You missed a whole line on the third problem that left you with an incomplete answer. Not to mention,” he lifted up the notebook and motioned towards the whole page, “Where is all the rest of the homework?”

Jungkook’s voice was filled with the beginnings of laughter. Not specifically towards you, but just the blatant fact you did not care. You gave him your best nonchalant shrug. In reality, you did care. It bothered you it wasn’t finished.

Your fingers were digging in the grass and ripping some of it up and throwing it out into the field.

“I had a hard time concentrating last night. Plus, if I’m being honest math has always been the hardest subject for me.”

“And that is why I’m going to help you.”

“For a fee,” you reminded him.

“I’ll teach you the easiest way I know how to do these and I promise you, you’ll be flying through these problems in no time.”

The sincerity in his voice was evident. Jungkook really believed it and he wanted you to believe it too. You just couldn’t understand why and you found yourself speaking your mind.

“Why are you wanting to help me?”

It was his turn to shrug his shoulders. His face went blank as he looked at you one last time before he looked away. Whatever he was looking at he wasn’t really seeing. He just needed someplace else to look than the person he was talking to you. You did it plenty of times yourself.

Whatever he’d decided on to say had caused his shoulders to square. Determined that whatever he needed to say he would make sure it meant something.

“I like spending time with you.”

The smile you’d worn completely shattered as you stared at him. The butterflies rushed up and up until they trapped themselves in your throat. Jungkook’s admission was basically three words dropped away from just saying he liked you.

This surprising admission should’ve been enough to make yourself not care who you saw walking. Or care when he stopped, his small mob with him, and start gesturing at his imaginary watch. His fingers rubbing together for money owed.

It was worse when Jungkook looked back and took notice. Even worse when he looked back at you with questions swirling in his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Your eyes looked down to the safety of your hands. The way they were helplessly fidgeting back in the grass and tearing it apart like a miniature tantrum was brewing inside you. You hated that after all this time, you let Lee Kwon upset you by making you feel embarrassed about your dad. That he felt the need to tell everyone the business deal between his father and yours. How every time he told it he’d turned him more and more into a villain of his own misfortune.

Without a reason why you took back your notebook from Jungkook and shoved it inside your bag. You were ready to leave. You didn’t want to explain, but you knew Jungkook wouldn’t let you just leave without one.

He reached out and his hand gently wrapped around your wrist to stop you. There was no force. Nothing that hinted that he would keep you there if you didn’t want to be kept. Looking at him felt harder. His genuine worry almost threatened to let the tears from your frustration spill forward.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head. Your vision dragging away from him and back to the retreating back of the sociopath, Lee Kwon.

You didn’t try to shake him off. You actually felt comforted by his worrisome touch. The way he leaned in closer as if he would pull you into his arms at any moment. As much as you wanted that to happen, you knew it wouldn’t happen. A deep sigh had built up in your chest and you released it while you looked back at him.

“Look. Eventually, I know you’re going to hear about it: my dad, I mean.”

“That’s kind of odd high school kids would talk about someone’s appa.”

“You and me both,” you agreed. “But Kwon’s dad is a banker who doesn’t believe in client confidentiality. So he tells his son about his day over dinner and-“

“And he decides to bring it to school to make your life miserable,” Jungkook finished for you.

He understood and didn’t need you to simplify it anymore. His hand left your arm and you suddenly found yourself missing his comforting touch. It was still there, that comfort, in the way his eyes softened and he leaned in intent to listen to whatever you needed to get off your chest. You appreciated his attention, but also hated it at the same time.

“What’s your Appa’s thing?”

God. He did understand. Maybe just a little too well for your liking.

“Gambling. It started when I was in the seventh grade. At first it wasn’t anything too crazy. He’d always been able to even it out. But then he became obsessed with the idea of winning big. Kept betting on things we couldn’t afford to lose. Eventually, he bet too high and ended up losing the business he and my mom built together and our house. They had to pay the bank back.”

“A bank this dude’s Appa works at.”

“Correct. My Appa...he isn’t a bad man. He’s paid his debt and hasn’t gambled since. What good is it for me or anyone else to make him feel bad for the rest of his life?”

“I don’t get it. Why does that have to do with you, though?”

You’d wondered the same exact thing half of your adolescent life. You shrugged and looked at Jungkook wondering if maybe he’d be able to make sense of it better than you could.

“Twelve year old boys enjoy making up stories. First it was that we became so poor we lived with pigs. That's why I smelled.”

You put air quotations around smelled and Jungkook practically howled with laughter. You tried your best to show no emotion, but could feel the corner of your lips threatening to curl into a smile.

“He probably said it because you didn’t know how to wash back then and, judging from earlier, I still don’t think you do.”

You moved to playfully shove at his shoulder. A scoff of laughter leaving you even though you told yourself you wouldn’t. Jungkook was waiting for you to make a move and when you did he easily grabbed a hold of you. The feeling of intimacy, just like yesterday in the mud, was swimming back to the surface.

Your eyes looked up into his with your laughter being met with a wide grin. The way he was looking at you now made you believe in fairytales and left your lips aching to be kissed.

Before either of you could decide what to do next, the bell for the end of lunch sounded. You could hear it going off all around you, but still the two of you stayed holding each other. Your bodies close enough that if he wanted to make a move all Jungkook needed was to lean down. To say your heart dropped a little when he moved away was an understatement.

You focused on getting up from the grass. Your hands patting down your uniform as you struggle to find something not so awkward to say. You wanted to sound confident. You wanted to sound like you weren’t affected by him at all.

“Well, I’ll see you around.”

God, you sounded awkward. You turned to start heading to your next period. You closed your eyes tight and mouthed, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You’d gotten a few feet away when you heard him call to you.

You turned to look back at him and found him still standing under the tree. His hands in his pockets and his eyes solely on you.

“Would you let me walk you home?”

Did he really have to ask? You’d let him walk you to the edge of a volcano. You didn’t say that, however. You wanted to play it cool, but on the inside you were screaming.

“I’d like that.”

When you turned back around to make your way to class, the memory of how his face had brightened at your reply, stayed with you. You couldn’t wait for the day to end.

_________

True to his word Jungkook waited for you after school. You couldn’t help looking for him over the countless shoulders as you walked with the sea of students towards the entrance. The hole in the pit of your stomach opened back up from the underlying dreadful thought. That he wouldn't show up. You’d be left standing there waiting for him forever. But Jungkook continued to prove your pessimism wrong.

The closer you got to the school’s gate, you were able to spot him instantly. He was leaning coolly against the gate. His bag at his feet and his cane positioned strategically out of view. If anyone just casually walked up, they would’ve never been able to tell he’d needed one. Maybe that was why he’d done it.

He looked to be searching for someone in every face that passed him. It came to an end the minute his roaming eyes found you. No longer did he appear cool and composed. His body became animated with what you could only explain as a giddiness at your oncoming presence.

By the time you reached him, Jungkook was wearing his backpack on his shoulder and his cane in his hand. He was standing and waiting for you. The happiness at being next to you was intoxicating and you could only hope you looked the same.

“It felt like I was waiting forever,” he admitted.

The two of you started in sync out the gate and turned left onto the main road.

“It felt like an eternity just to get to you. I have Mrs. Chun’s chemistry class for the last period. The classroom is pretty far.”

“Mhm, like on a planet far far away.”

Your eyes rolled up to look at him. The affection you found in the warmth of his eyes was startling, but not a surprise.

Your mom used to tell you to always be careful with smiling. It caused laugh lines. It helped make crows feet. That smiling was a woman’s secret enemy she never knew about when it came to aging. She told you over and over to be careful who or what you wasted smiles on. Smiling up at him now, Jungkook was definitely worth it just to see him respond with his own.

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only, like, one planet away.”

A soft hush of laughter left him as he looked away. His gaze roaming around the street signs and their multiple names before looking back at you.

“Are we going the right way to your place? I just realized I never even asked for your address.”

“Does it matter? I mean, with your leg and all.” You hated yourself for spoiling the moment by bringing it up. You knew it was a touchy subject when it came to his leg for Jungkook. So you weren’t surprised to see that spark of warmth fade ever so slightly from his face. His smile wilted at the edges of his lips before it all but disappeared. “You know I’m sorry I said anything. I shouldn’t have. I mean obviously you know yourself and your limits. You wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t able to do it.”

You were rambling. You were fidgeting and waving your arms around while you talked, because why not? You were doing everything else besides hyperventilating at this point. All you knew was that you felt like a jerk for even bringing it up. When all you wanted was to know he was okay.

You were so lost in the space inside your head and worrying that you didn’t notice him laughing at you. You were mid-arm swing. Inhaling for another round of mouth babble to start asking for forgiveness when he waved for you to stop. A finger tip landing on your lips to quiet the words in your throat by shocking you into silence.

“You really don’t have to apologize so much, Y/N. It’s alright. I understand why you would ask.”

You were tempted to lick his finger away, but it felt too intimate. But so was a finger on the lips. Before you could decide your next move from your internal dilemma, Jungkook solved it for you. His finger detaching from your lips as quickly as it’d come.

“No, you don’t. I’m just worried about you. I know I should trust you to know yourself better, but-“ you did an over exaggerated shrug as you finished: “I’m a worrier.”

“I’m flattered, I have you to worry over me.”

You knew he was teasing you and you couldn’t have been happier. You preferred it to making him sad. Plus, he was back to looking at you like you controlled the stars and oh, what a wonderful look it was.

“You should be. I’ve only got so much extra space up here.”

You tapped your head for added effect and were rewarded with a soft laugh that was followed up by a smile. God, you could get used to this.

“I guess I need to work harder to take up more space.”

“Please, no. Let’s not do that. I need my sanity.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing so well at flirting. Usually, your sarcasm won out and you resorted to awkward winking, but this was definitely an improvement.

“I’m not sure you have much of that left either,” he joked.

You tried to hide your laughter with a scoff. You knew you were failing miserably at being offended. Your mouth fighting too hard to ward off a smile as you playfully bumped your shoulder into his arm. Jungkook was ready for you with his cane digging into the sidewalk to give him extra stability.

“Ya, if I do finally go crazy it’ll be your fault, specifically.”

“I think you’d have a hard time proving that in court. My counter argument would be pretty persuasive.”

You looked at him in shock.

“Court? Wow...that escalated quickly.”

Jungkook nodded his reply. He stopped in front of a bookstore and pointed at a manga in the window. You weren’t too familiar with the title, but it's a cover you’d seen plenty of.

“It would happen as quickly as an infection from a zombie’s bite. It would seem all slow until suddenly you jumped up and tried to eat me.”

You couldn’t keep the amusement off your face as you glanced at him and back down to the manga. A part of you wondering if it was one he’d read before or just wanted to use to make his point.

“Question: why are we together during a zombie outbreak?”

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I’ll be walking you home. I’ll try and save you and while feeling all heroic about it, I won’t even realize you’d been bitten until it’s too late.”

The two of you moved away from the bookstore window and began to walk back down the sidewalk. Your mind trying to dissect what he was trying to say, but all it left you with was imagining a zombie version of you trying to take a bite out of him.

“You must watch too much Walking Dead.”

“It’s a good show,” he shrugged.

“Did you know that there’s actually a fungus out there that’s sort of like a zombie infection. It’s called Ophiocordyceps. It basically infects the host and within nine days of infection it takes control of the host's body movements.”

You were still walking and looking around while you spoke. Your fingers running gently over a row of gardenia’s that were planted in carefully placed pots in front of someone’s home. You were aware Jungkook had left your side by the sudden coldness of his absence. You turned to look for him and found him standing a foot away from you. A mixture of astonishment and amusement etched on his face.

“Why do you know something like that? Actually, how do you know something like that?”

His eyes were dancing with curiosity as he moved to fall back into step beside you.

“Let’s just say I like to read. I like strange things and facts. And science is full of both facts and strange things.”

With each small statement you held up a finger. When you ended on the third and final small fact about yourself, you wiggled all three fingers at him. The motion earned you a giant smile that only seemed to grow wider as his head shook slightly back and forth.

“You are the strangest girl.”

“How am I strange?”

“You just told me about a body snatching fungus,” he chuckled. “What other girl is going to do that?”

Jungkook had a point. A very strong point. For all your new found confidence when it came to him, you couldn’t keep the heat from rushing to your face. Or the back of your hands from trying to hide it.

“I would tell you to stop being embarrassed but it’s cute when you blush.”

The two of you came to a complete stop at the crosswalk. The red light blinking to tell you two it wasn’t safe to cross. It felt like a weird metaphor for this moment in your life.

Stop! Do not keep staring back at him as if he strung every star in the sky. Stop! Don’t continue to entertain the thought that he looked like he wanted to kiss you or that you desperately wanted to kiss him back. Stop! Even though you already knew it was too late.

You had plans. It’d all been strategically mapped out in your head until you could read it forwards and backwards to yourself. Do your best to graduate high enough in the percentage range to get into a decent college. Get a degree for a job, it didn’t matter what it was, that made enough money to help your parents. For all your careful planning, none of it had included him and yet, the universe had you both standing at a stoplight looking at each other like there couldn’t be any other reality where you weren’t meant to end up right here. Standing at this exact light and looking at one another like no one else existed.

Luckily, the light changed signaling for you to begin to cross. The mass of bodies that had accumulated behind you began to push you both forward and, reluctantly, broke your gaze free from him. Your brain was scrambling to pick up a conversation you weren’t sure how to resurrect. Your mind too busy daydreaming all the scenarios you would’ve taken in different realities if you were braver. Clearing your throat, you did your best to wipe the thought clean and focus on your current reality.

“If it makes you feel better,” you started your body turning to consider him as you spoke, “the study was only ever done on the tropical ants that resided in the forest. The actual effects and what it could do to humans has never been studied. Yet. But I’m willing to bet it would take longer than nine days for it to take hold of a grown adult's nervous system and larger batches.”

He was looking at you in inspired mock horror. You weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Or if your unusual fact telling about zombie fungus had completely killed the mood. You got your answer in an excited hush of, “Holy shit it’s like you’re writing your own super villain backstory.”

A smile erupted on your face as you playfully rolled your eyes away from him. It was hard to miss the mischievous glint in his eyes or the way his whole face still swam with the playfulness that lurked underneath his teasing. Jungkook was so alive. A force that required you to hang on or else you would get swept up in him without even realizing it’d happen.

You wondered if this is what falling in love felt like.

“I would make a terrible villain. I’m too clumsy,” you stated. Your weak attempt at downplaying yourself being met with a stern look.

“How clumsy are we talking?”

“Hmm, I would say, ‘Kronk giving the llama potion to Kuzco,’ kind of clumsy.”

A hiss of air whistled between Jungkook’s teeth. A mock look of worry on his face as his hands moved to reposition his bag.

“Can we call that clumsy, though?”

“What else would it be?” You asked.

You could feel the lines grouping together in your forehead just trying to figure out what he was getting at. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in any rush to answer you. The two of you walking a few feet before he must have decided you’d waited long enough for him to reply.

“I always thought Kronk was stupid throughout the whole movie, but really, he was just a good person. He’s a good guy tasked to do a bad thing and he just wants to make people happy. Even if it means doing the wrong thing.”

You wanted to ask if maybe he was talking more about himself than The Emperor’s New Groove at this point. He faced forward with his brow creased in deep thought and whatever it was that held his thoughts didn’t appear to be anything good.

“Or,” you started, voice light enough to drag him out of his head, “it’s just a kids movie.”

Sure, Jungkook was looking at you, but he didn’t seem to actually see you. Somewhere inside his head, he was reenacting or seeing something that ate up all the sunshine that lived in his bones. It felt silly to feel a sense of panic about something that might not even be true. And yet, you couldn’t stop the awful thought that sadness was trying to make a home inside his soul.

Without giving it another thought you reached up and pretended to wipe away a pretend rogue eyelash from his cheek. The suddenness of your fingers brushing on his skin jolted him from wherever his thoughts had held him hostage and back into the present. His eyes darted around your face and his own hand came up to gently take yours.

“Sorry.” Your words came out breathy as you struggled not to focus on how he was practically holding your hand. “There was an eyelash. The wind must have blown it away.”

The earlier sadness that’d hollowed out his eyes was gone. What replaced it was one of knowing you weren’t telling the truth. His head tilted slightly down to inspect your empty finger of the proof you knew your words didn’t have whose eyes sparked with his usual teasing and something else. Something that left a different kind of heat flooding your cheeks.

“I’m sure there was.”

Reluctantly, you removed your hand from his and continued to walk. It only took him a couple seconds to fall effortlessly into step beside you making you wonder if his leg was as injured as it seemed.

A warm silence swelled around you as you continued to walk. A comfortable pace setting between you as he looked in the windows of every store you passed in between the changing streets. He never once asked if you were getting close to your home or how much farther it might be. It was like the moment on the back of the bus. The two of you enjoyed that the other was there without ever feeling the need to say it.

But you knew it was soon coming to an end. In only a few blocks, you’d be home and your fairytale moment would end. You were struggling on how to break this, more to yourself than Jungkook, when you noticed he pulled a Nikon camera from the side of his bag. He was squinting through the lens and taking photos of something up ahead. Of the landscape or the people and buildings that framed it you weren’t sure.

He must have sensed your silent question as he snapped a few more quick photos before turning to acknowledge you.

“Y/N, I have a serious question for you.”

It was hard to keep the amusement off your face as you both came to a stop. The place felt random, but it was anything but that to Jungkook. Whatever he saw in this space you both inhabited must have felt like magic to him.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Do you think we have enough time for me to take some photos?”

It felt like such an odd request. Why should anyone have to ask to do something that they loved? Jungkook didn’t fully say he loved doing it, but no one spent that much money on a nice camera if it wasn’t something they enjoyed doing. The look on his face was just an added bonus of proving your answer meant something. One that made you wonder why he felt like he needed your permission at all. And then it hit you: he wanted to stay in your company while he did it.

You considered teasing him, but he looked too vulnerable standing there. You weren’t even sure if he was breathing. A pleading in his eyes that reminded you of a child asking a mother to go on just one more ride before they were forced to go home. You considered giving him the bad news that you had more than homework to do when you arrived home. But that could come another day. On this day, with him, you could spare an hour just to make him happy.

Instead of coming right out and letting him know you’d made up your mind, you decided to play coy. A soft, “Hmm,” hummed around you as you looked everywhere but him. Your index finger tapping on your lips for dramatic flare.

"Ok," You shrugged. "I think I have some free time I could spare."

His eyes squinted in question as you moved to stand in front of him. The movement simply to let a couple go by in peace, but somehow placed you closer in front of him. Jungkook’s gaze was roaming your face to find an answer to a question he hadn’t yet asked.

“You planned on saying yes this whole time, didn’t you. You were just trying to make me suffer waiting for you to answer.”

You gasped in pretend shock and did your best not to smile at his accusations. By the growing smile on his face you knew you were failing miserably.

“Me?! I would never do such a thing.”

“You’re secretly a sadist!”

Jungkook’s smile only widened as a scoff of disbelief passed from your lips. Your own smile grew to match his own when his hands lifted up his camera. Seconds later the sound of the shutter clicked and you felt your soul leave your body. The earlier playfulness was swiftly swept in your own dark cloud and the idea you probably looked hideous in that photo.

“Oh god, Jungkook delete it,” you pleaded.

Your hands were reaching out to grab tightly at this shirt. Your fingers curled in the white fabric until there was a small chance you could tear holes. The camera in question was being held far from your reach. His hand easily held it above his shoulder as he used one hand to steady you against him. You’d invaded his space without even realizing, but you had no time to be embarrassed. Not when he had a picture of you forever saved on that camera.

“Why would I delete it?”

He was his usual amused self you could tell, but he wasn’t egging you on. His question was out of curiosity. His own eyes brimming with it as you considered keeping one hand tightly wound in his shirt and the other to jump up and reach for the camera.

“Because Jungkook I’m not cute. You’ll be lucky if it doesn’t ruin the camera.”

All his earlier playfulness drained from his face and what was left made you instantly feel like you were about to be scolded. His hand that had firmly planted itself on your hip was achingly apparent now as his fingers gripped you closer to him. Your own awareness at how close you actually were to his chest made your lips feel dry. Your tongue flicked out to wet them and god, it took everything in you not to focus on the fact his eyes had followed the movement.

“Y/N, why would you say that? You shouldn’t let anyone talk down about you, and you shouldn’t do it to yourself either. You’re beautiful.”

He spoke like it was a fact. A statement that not just the two of you knew, but the universe did too. And what were you supposed to say back? While you were held captive to the thought he was still looking from you to your lips. The determination for you to understand his words and believe them setting soft lines in his face. You tried to keep looking at him, but under his watchful gaze you couldn’t keep yourself from fidgeting. Your eyes moved down the line of his body until it landed on the tops of your shoes.

You weren’t sure what to say back. Thank you didn’t fit here. It didn’t feel like a moment where he was trying to boost your confidence the way a friend did. This felt more like someone who noticed something in you while you hadn’t been looking.

So instead of saying anything remotely clever back you began to dislodge yourself from him. Your hands releasing their hold on his shirt and forcing his hand off of your hip. Standing there with only inches between you, your body was achingly aware that his hand was gone. It’s weight leaving a burning of longing to have it back forced your hands into your pockets and your body turning away from him. You waited for him to start moving back down the road. The motion forced him to either join you or stay where he was.

“We should get going before we run out of time.”

You hated yourself for dismissing him. For not being bolder like you’d promised yourself earlier in the day. It would’ve been the perfect time to thank him. To tell him how you were pretty sure there wasn’t a soul on earth more attractive than him, but that what made him beautiful is what he refused to let people see. The soft tone of his voice still singing along to the songs on the back of the bus had ended up being an unspoken lullaby when you’d gone to sleep.

A part of you considered turning on your heel and telling him this. To tell him that you saw him; actually saw him for who he was and not who he felt like he needed to be. But you just kept moving forward and weren’t surprised when Jungkook found a steady rhythm back beside you.

The both of you stayed quiet. This time it felt more forced than the easiness of earlier. Like the two of you had so many missed starts at creating a conversation that neither of you could understand why it ended.

You watched him as he focused on the area around him. His camera training on an old couple who sat waiting for the next bus. The husband had clutched his wife’s arm close to his side. In his hands he was peeling what appeared to be an orange and with each freshly peeled slice, he gave one to her and one to himself. No one knew what they were conversing about, but it didn’t matter. To them, they were the only two people there. The wholesomeness of the moment made you wonder what they were like back in their youth.

You listened to the flutter of the shutter click repeatedly. His hand twisting on the lens to bring it in and out of focus, while he himself remained deadly focused on capturing their moment in time. You were curious how the photos would turn out in the end and wished there was a way to show them how their love translated on film.

You were in the middle of watching Jungkook turn his attention to a couple birds inside a cherry blossom when he spoke.

“Thank you for agreeing to walk with me while I do this.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jungkook.”

A sad smile curled his lips as he dropped his camera down in front of him. His thumb skimmed over the buttons to quickly go through what he’d previously taken. The last one he landed on made his entire face light up and you felt a pang of jealousy at what it could be. How you wish he would look at you like that.

“Maybe, but I feel like I do. Ever since my accident, my appa hasn’t been able to force me into things. For once, I get to just do what I want. Sucks it only had to cost me a friend and a leg to get some freedom.”

Your feet had carried you to the next stop sign. The sudden halt in moving forced you to look at him, really look at Jungkook, like you’d never seen him before.

He wasn’t looking at you now. His ears a screaming red while his fingers danced over every part of the camera. His eyes roaming over its edges and flicking too fast through pictures to actually even be looking at them. For the first time since you’d met him Jungkook was scared to look at you. Scared for what you might see if you did.

Looking at him now, you couldn’t have been happier to indulge him. You’d indulge him for the rest of your life if he’d let you.

“Well, I’m happy to be of service.”

You mentally smacked yourself at your choice of words. Jungkook, however, was backing to his beaming self as he finally glanced in your direction. His eyeing ate up your embarrassment as it was your turn to face forward. Your feet hopping in place as you waited for the light to flash it was okay to walk.

“I’m supposed to be at physical therapy right now.”

“Wait, what?”

The light was flickering finally for you to all move. Your feet moved to carry you forward unintentionally, just to keep with the flow of traffic, as Jungkook gave you a small shrug for an answer.

“Did you say you were supposed to be at physical therapy?”

Another shrug and another long pause with no answer. It seemed he had been waiting for you to round the corner onto a quieter pedestrian free street before he replied, “After school. I have appointments almost everyday and I never go.”

“But why? It’s meant to help you get better, isn’t it?”

“Get better to do what, exactly?” He huffed. Jungkook’s entire body took on a broodier tone. His cane practically dug small holes with each press into the pavement. “Who even says that I can get better?”

“Well, doctors for one,” you pointed out. “I’m sure they wouldn’t have signed you up for it if they didn’t believe you could get better.”

“If I was going to get better it would’ve happened already.”

It felt like walking on eggshells. This side of Jungkook was the boy you’d met on his first day of class. His guarded demeanor up on high alert, as he kept his gaze stoically forward and his chin held high.

“You’re not an idiot, Jungkook. You know injuries take time to heal from. It doesn't just magically happen overnight.”

“Who says that I want to get better?”

The coldness in his words forced your legs to stop working. Your feet were unable to move as he continued to push on ahead of you. His own movements became slower now as the long walk was beginning to take its toll on his leg. He knew you weren’t beside him anymore and still he tried to keep pushing forward, before eventually he had no other choice but to turn around.

The look on his face was as defiant as ever. Underneath that defiance was a sadness so raw you only wanted to reach out and hold him. If just to remind him that he was seen and that his pain mattered.

That’s when the realization hit you.

“Unless you feel like you deserve this.”

The stone façade he’d worked so hard to create in the past few minutes began to chip. His eyes being the first to show by the soft uprising of tears that you were right. Somewhere deep inside Jungkook believed that he deserved what happened to him. That this was punishment for losing a friend at his own hands, even if it wasn’t his fault to begin with.

The tears that threatened to spill never did, but they were there. They floated dangerously at the surface of Jungkook’s control and he refused to let go. The rawness of his pain hit you and all you wanted was to help ease it. You weren’t sure if he would accept any kind of affection, even in a small hug. So your only option was to move closer to him. As close as he would allow without pushing you away.

With each step you could see his jaw clenching tighter; pulsing like he was fighting from saying something wicked to send you skirting back. He was just as afraid of what you were about to do as you were at being the one to do it.

When the tips of your shoes nudged against his you drew your eyes up until they landed on his. A spark of something; fear or uncertainty, flashed in his eyes. Was he expecting you to be cruel? To yell at him to stop being a child and to grow up? How much had he already heard those words shouted by adults? How long had he been standing there like this, in a world full of grief, and no one there to pull him out to breathe before the next wave suffocated him once more.

You weren’t sure if it was you or if what you said would matter, but it was important he heard it. It was important he knew that this was okay too.

“You got to forgive yourself sometime, Jungkook.”

The words themselves were simple. Simple and spoken between you as if there was a secret meant only for the two of you to hear. All you really wanted was for him to feel the sincerity of your words for him to know it was okay. Okay to feel sad, unsure, and helpless at times when all the world felt against you. It was okay to not know your first steps and okay to take those first steps when you were ready. Eventually, we needed to forgive, if only to give ourselves the chance to heal and move on.

His gaze was still misty with unshed tears and still they refused to fall. The pain and defiance that had turned his features harsh began to soften. All that hardness he struggled to keep himself in and others out was beginning to fade and the only thing left was him. All that sunshine that you’d seen lived in his smile and echoed in his laughter that crinkled in the corners of his eyes. The way he cared for others and making them feel cared for. The softness of his singing and the way he eagerly filmed people at their most vulnerable: at their most beautiful.

It was at this moment you felt your universe shift and tip until it realigned itself. With your fingers back to holding the edges of his shirt it took everything in you not to close those final inches and hug him. Jungkook closed that distance for you instead.

His lips crashing down on your cheeks causing a soft squeak of surprise to push free from your lips. A chuckle came as he came back into view and your mind struggled to comprehend what happened.

It wasn’t a kiss on the lips but…

“Did you just kiss my cheek?”

Your hand was up to the aforementioned spot. A wicked smile wiping away all of his sadness until you weren’t sure if it had been real at all or if you’d imagined it.

“I could kiss your lips if you’d like that instead.”

If your cheeks could get any hotter you could’ve fried food on them. You felt a surge of disappointment when Jungkook took a reluctant step back from you as his eyes dropped to check the time on his phone.

“As much as I hate to say this: I have to go.”

“All of the sudden you have to go,” you huffed.

Your words felt brave, but inside your heart was thundering wildly against your chest.

“I could stay if you want?”

Smoother than expected, Jungkook slid his way back to you. His chest bumping against you making you lose your footing just enough that it forced you to grab on to his shirt. Jungkook’s own hand had moved behind your back to steady you and bring you closer to him all at once.

You playfully smacked his chest and earned a soft laugh from him. Unfortunately, you found yourself peeling away from him. Your hands grasping at the strap of your bag to keep them from reaching back out for him.

“Not a chance.”

Your reply earned a playful pout from him as he started walking backwards away from you.

“I’ll remember that, Y/N!”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to start walking the rest of the way home. You didn’t get more than a few feet before he called back to you. Your eyes found him instantly in a crowd of people that continued to pass in front of him.

“I forgot to ask: what’s your number!”

He held up a pen expecting you to come back to him and write it down presumably on his arm or hand. You didn’t see any paper and could only assume. You knew it was all just a ploy to get you to come to him. The knowledge evident by the wicked grin on his face.

“You’re a math wiz, right?” Jungkook was perplexed for a second before you started reciting your number as loud as you were willing to shout it. The wind blew it away as he no doubt struggled to listen.

“Wow! What a way to play dirty.”

“If it’s meant to be you’ll figure it out.”

And maybe that was true. Maybe you both had a chance to write your own love story like from the movies and shows you used to watch with your mom. Like Rose and Jack from Titanic or Ross and Rachel...okay...maybe more like Chandler and Monica. Or maybe you were an idiot and should’ve just gone and wrote it down. It was too late now as he was already on the other side of the street.

You were ready to walk the rest of the way kicking yourself for being so lame when you heard him call your name again. When you turned you didn’t expect him to be trotting across the road. You didn’t expect him to stop in front of you and give you another quick kiss on the cheek, this one gentler than before, with every fiber of your body remembering just how soft his lips felt.

“I could fall in love with you, ya know.”

You watched as in the same breath he hopped back across the street and couldn’t help but think you already had.

————-

Later that night you were snuggled up inside the sheets of your bed. The only thing sticking out was the current book you were reading and the top of your head.

You hadn’t heard from Jungkook the rest of the day. Your heart hammered inside your chest every time your phone chimed with a new message only to deflate when you realized it wasn’t him. You loved your friends and all, but they weren’t who you’d been looking forward to all evening.

Maybe you should’ve just gone to him and written down your number. Like a normal human being would’ve done. You just had to be clever and yell it out like a lunatic. For all you knew, you could end up with a random stranger texting you at all hours.

Your current book that you were supposed to be reading but couldn’t really read because you couldn’t focus was now face planted onto your nose. A soft groan echoing into its pages as you fought not to close it and throw it somewhere in your room. You were a hundred percent sure you’d read the same sentence a few dozen times at this point.

In the morning, you decided, you most definitely were just going to write it down. Like a sane person would’ve done. You closed your book and placed it down beside you. Your eyes roaming up to stare at your ceiling and wondering if you were ever actually going to go to sleep when your phone chimed off.

You weren’t in any hurry to look. It could just be your parents from the restaurant making sure you were in bed. It could be one of your friends asking about making plans this weekend. It was probably still everyone but Jungkook and yet…

Your curiosity got the better of you. You shuffled inside your comforter, reached an arm out to grab your phone from the nightstand, and quickly pulled it back inside. You waited for your facial ID to unlock the screen to see who or what you’d received. Your own mind hyping up the suspense of the moment until it read over a reminder text from your dad about your chores for the upcoming weekends.

You hated you’d let yourself have even a glimmer of hope. It was official. You’d ruined your chances when it came to giving out your number. A groan was creeping its way up your throat as you quickly sent back a text. You knew your chores took over almost every weekend. Even when you’d made plans with friends, you’d ended up never going.

As soon as you’d hit send you were rolling over to put your phone back on your nightstand. The shrill sound of pinging messages stopped you cold. There was no way your dad had learned to text back that fast. You laid yourself flat back against the mattress and brought the phone to hover above your face.

Y/N?

Is this the right number finally?

Hello?!!

If this is the wrong person, I’m sorry. I swear I’m not crazy. Just looking for a girl.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was beating so hard you were scared it would burst from your chest. Your eyes were still skimming over the line of text messages when another one sounded. You were so caught up in reading the next line you weren’t aware your clammy fingers had let the phone slip and it crash landed down on your face.

“Ooow!”

One hand scrambled to pick it back up off your face, while the other massaged the now swelling brim of your nose.

How many people have you texted before me?

There wasn’t a need to send a hi. To give him a coy response to continue to tease him or make him believe he’d gotten it wrong again. Your curiosity at the desperate way he seemed to have been looking for you was endearing. The thought that he’d spent so much time sending out random messages for a response, no matter how crazy he looked, felt silly but cute too.

Jungkook thought you were worth the trouble.

OH MY GOD IS IT REALLY YOU?! And maybe like... seventeen.

You snuggled deeper into your comforter as a soft giggle joined the growing smile across your face.

I’m sorry I should have just wrote it down when you offered the pen lol

It definitely would’ve made it a lot easier.

You’d asked yourself that question all evening while you’d waited for him. You bit your lips as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. Unsure if you should take the chance and tell him.

“Screw it,” you whispered as you typed.

Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting forever.

Well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. This girl thought it was a good idea to shout random numbers at me 😅😂.

Your head was shaking as you tried to figure out something witty to say. You couldn’t believe you were here. Inside your comforter cave smiling at your phone like a lunatic and wondering if maybe Jungkook was doing the same. Or what was he even doing? You were getting ready to type out that exact question when your phone pinged to life.

So, ugh, on to more important matters. It read. I was thinking about your love of random facts and I think I got one for you.

Ooooooo kekeke this should be good

Do you want to know it or not?

Okay okay! Lol please tell me Kookie

You could practically feel him screaming through your phone as a sideways glance emoji was sent back in a long lined response. You wondered if you’d completely ruined his fact telling when your phone went off.

I found this article that said the chances of finding your soulmate out of 500,000,000 people was impossible. But, if you just place it to where you are, to your age group, and timing it narrows it down to a 1 in 10,000 chance. What I’m trying to get at is...I think your my 1 in 10,000

You read the message on repeat. Over and over until you were sure you’d practically memorized it front and back. You wanted to ask him for his source material. Where such an article could exist. None of that really mattered to you and how could it?

You must have spaced out because you never sent him a reply. Your thoughts were still spinning in a world all their own as you wondered if he was sitting at his desk doing homework or lying in bed. If he was inside or outside and what had made him so brave to send that message: believing you felt the same.

The vibration of the phone brought you back down to earth. You expected to see question marks or another line of, “Hello?” To have left him on read. Instead, the only thing that greeted you was a simple, Goodnight, Y/N.

This time there was no hesitation from you.

Goodnight, Jungkook

See you in the morning ?

His text felt so hopeful. A silent undertone that if you said no there was a chance you’d break him. You bit your lip as you thought about what this meant. The beginning of small promises that eventually grew into bigger ones.

I’ll meet you at the gate

You both finished up with another round of good night’s that felt like the embarrassing texting equivalent of “no you hang up! No you!” And placed your phone back on your night stand. It took forever for the sandman to finally claim you. Your dreams consisting of the magic of being Jungkook’s 1 in 10,000.

313 notes · View notes

yourmcu · 3 years

Text

Mesmerized (iii)

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Request:

@lostaurorax said:

hii!! i love ur writing i was wondering if u could write a natasha x reader fic were reader is part of the guardians of the galaxy and they come to the compound and natasha is just starstruck but reader plays kinda hard to get and then just a bunch of fluff !

Word count: 2,138

A/n: notes at the end

Warnings: crash, mentions of explosion, swearing, space mission, soft!nat, quill’s a jerk

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Your departure from Earth made its one-year mark.

Natasha hasn’t felt like herself since you left. She’s known you for a few months but it felt like ages, it felt like she knew everything about you from the amount of time you spent together.

It’s not like you had a choice. The guardians needed you and of course you’re gonna be there for them too. They saved your ass countless of time and, well, they’re your family.

“Shit!”

Natasha frowns, leaning forward a bit from her sitting position. “What’s wrong?”

You fail to respond back. You curse once more in realization that you had no more ammo left in your guns, using your fire conjuring abilities is risky in this situation too, given on what type of creatures you're fighting.

Rocket is still determined to fight but you know he’s not gonna make it alive so you pick him up and sprint to your ship.

“I had it under control!” The raccoon yells.

“You’re kidding, right? The others already left!” You boom, fiddling with the buttons and levers of the ship to try and start it. The rattling of the monsters behind getting you frazzled. “Fucking-”

“Out of the way before you burn the controls, I got it.”

You go to the back part of the ship to reload all your weapons. You sigh in relief when Rocket managed to start the ship.

The mission went horribly wrong. People died and you were outnumbered. You almost set Groot on fire because of how overwhelmed you were, the fact that Quill was expressing how pissed he was at you didn’t help. Usually the team had every mission handled and sorted. You weren’t used to losing.

And you forgot Natasha is still connected to the call.

She just listens further. It's more silent than earlier so she figured you got away from whatever happened, but she's ready to try and help whatever it takes even though she's a thousand miles away.

“Quill’s not responding,” you frown, frantically searching the back of the ship for the backup weapons. “He must’ve turned his comms off. Can you contact the other ship there?”

“No, offline,” Rocket mumbles, more focused on getting the ship moving. “But geez, you and him have to sort things out.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Save it, we’re still being followed!” Rocket swerves in attempt to knock off the creatures - who're still actively chasing the spaceship. They could fly, and there are a lot. You couldn’t imagine anything like it.

You try your best to fight them off through the spacious hatch on top, but of course you have no match for all of them. You wish Thor was here. As far as you knew he's sorting Asgard things out with Valkyrie.

Every minute just gets worse. The flight gets unstable the more those creatures are catching up, you're surprised they're so determined to destroy both of you.

“Can you go any faster?!”

“I can’t, can I?!” Rocket's driving and pressing multiple buttons for the jump at the same time.

“Y/N,” Natasha calls out, hoping you could still hear her. “I can tell the team if you need any help-”

On your end, she just got more blasters and guns going off, orders flying between you and the raccoon.

“We need to shake them off, this ship’s not gonna handle them,” You say exasperated. “I’m gonna cause a distraction, got it? You need to get us out of here - anywhere - I don’t care how many jumps it takes!”

Rocket, as rare as it is, displays concern in his face, but he sighs and grips on the levers. “Ready when you are.”

You suck in a breath, letting out a huge burst of what seems like fire and just - heat, aiming at the creatures closest to the ship. It gets nearly all of them. The raccoon mutters a quick countdown, watching you fall unconscious from the hatch in the corner of his eye. He pushes the lever forward slowly, jumping to the one place he knows the both of you could get help.

Earth.

As soon as you let yourself go, Natasha loses the connection. The intensity of you using your powers like that might’ve affected it.

“God,” she mutters, pacing around her table, “Friday, you still have contact on that ship?”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff,” the A.I responds, and for a moment, a huge explosion sounded somewhere in the forest near the compound. “...and they just landed. Would you like me to send you the exact coordinates?”

Of course Natasha doesn’t waste time to go out and find you. Thankfully Steve is around and was shaken by the sudden explosion too. It’s snowing, the forest covered with thick snow so it wouldn’t be hard to find wherever the ship crashed.

“She’ll be alright, Nat. We’ll find her.” Steve reassures.

Natasha’s breath hitches at the sight of the aircraft completely destroyed, pieces everywhere, she wasted no time to find you under all the rubble.

The unconscious raccoon isn’t hard to find, but you had it worse considering you were already out before the crash.

“Steve,” she states, walking over scraps and metal to get to you. You're sickly pale, giving Natasha the feeling that she's too late but she did feel a slight pulse. There’s blood on the side of your forehead but other than that,

“She’s freezing,” and it isn’t from the snow alone, she thought. You're colder than that. Natasha has an arm around your back and behind your knees, getting ready to carry you. “Steve, we-”

“I’ll call Bruce to get them sorted out. Try and find their stuff that’s not destroyed.” His tone is firm. He doesn’t wait for a response, gently grabbing you from her and strides back to the compound.

Natasha sighs. Almost everything she sees is unrecognizable except for a few complicated looking guns that definitely looks like Rocket’s and your bag you took on one of your dates. Biting the inside of her cheek, she opens it, sighing in relief when everything inside looked in order.

She finds a wallet-sized picture of both of you at a fair's photo booth. You always held onto it and kept it in your pocket most of the time that's why it looks worn out, probably from you holding it so much. This makes Natasha's heart ache, deciding to keep it for the meantime, carrying all your stuff that's left to the compound.

- You wake with a start. You're facing the clean white ceiling of the Avengers' med bay and you tilt your head to the side to see Natasha sleeping on a stool beside your bed with her head lulling forward and her arms are crossed. As much as you feel relieved to see her, you're confused on how you got here, how she found you. You lift your arm to gently pat the redhead awake. She sighs and goes to rub her neck. "You're cold." You smile softly, cringing at the rasp of your voice. "Didn't want you to be sore from the way you were sleeping." "I'm glad you're awake." "How long was I out?" Natasha gets up to get you a glass of water while you sit up the bed. "Twelve hours. You definitely needed the rest, everything sounded really crazy up there," she says. "Rocket's somewhere around, he left his bed the moment he got up." She hands you the glass and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. Feeling how cold you still are since they found you in the forest, she grabs a remote to crank the heater up a bit. You purse your lips and cross your legs, looking at her. "How'd you find us?" "Let's just say we heard the impact of the crash from here," Natasha eyes the bandages on the side of your head for a moment. "It was really lucky your ship crashed nearby, but you know I wouldn't hesitate to get on the jet just to find you. And when I did, I... I thought you were-"

Your hand immediately goes to cup her cheek, the contrast of warm and cold making Natasha relax in your touch. "I'm here now. You saved me." She returns your smile and holds onto your hand on her cheek. "I missed you." "I missed you too." "You know, I did specifically set those coordinates," Rocket says as he enters the room with Tony. "Technically I saved us." Your smile only widens and Natasha chuckles, turning to Tony to see what he has to say about your condition. "You really wore yourself out there fireball, is she still freezing cold?" He asks this to Natasha specifically and she nods. You furrow your eyebrows and turn to your fists, clenching them, only noticing now that you are freezing. "I'm gonna run a simple test and if all goes as expected, Bruce is gonna give you a shot." "Have you already got a conclusion on what happened to me?" You question. Tony pulls out something from his pocket. "Sure have. Now set this on fire." He tosses you a solid crumpled paper. Holding it between three fingers you expect it to turn into ash in your palm, but it stayed the way it is. You're looking at it now to help focus on setting it on fire but it still stayed as normal paper. Natasha grips you on the arm. "I think that's enough." "You went all out with your powers. I did see you let out an overwhelming amount when we were trying to outrun those creatures before you passed out." Rocket states. "Naturally it'll come back, but the shot should help you with your... body temperature and hopefully the speed of recovery." Tony adds. You groan, back landing on the pillow behind you. Not only does losing your powers suck but you aren't a big fan of needles either, but you'll deal with them if you really have to. Natasha's hand slowly crawls up to intertwine with yours, although her attention was still on Tony. "She's gonna have to stay here at least until she recovers, right?" She also looks at Rocket if he has any objections but he merely nods his head. "'Course, they're welcome here for as long as they want." Tony claps his hands together and dismisses himself, Rocket following behind. "In the meantime I'll be figuring out a way to build a new ship." The raccoon says before closing the door behind him. Natasha makes her way to sit beside you and you automatically scooch to make space and rest your head against her shoulder, taking a breath. "You alright?" You shrug. "I guess I do feel pretty useless without those powers. I mean, Quill without a doubt would never let me go on missions anymore. I'd just be a burden to everyone." She lets go of your hand to put around you. "Everything doesn't revolve around your powers, Y/N. You're not useless. I bet you could take that Quill guy down in a fist fight." You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. "What's that guy like anyway?" The sudden question makes your head perk up. "Oh, you know, Quill, he's a nice guy-" Natasha let out a noise, cutting you off. "Didn't sound like it while I was connected in the call." "He can be a mouthful to me sometimes," you admit quietly. "Not to everyone though, I do generally think he's a nice guy. I have no idea what I did that made him so pissed at me." You look up at her and she's staring at the wall, seeming like she's deep in thought. "He doesn't hurt you, does he?" "God, no. He's not like that," you say. "If he did want to of course I wouldn't just take it." Natasha smiles, "that's my girl." You hung your head low so she couldn't see the way you flushed at the phrase, biting your lip to hold in a smile. “I’m glad you have my back, though.”

“I always do. Always will.”

"So, when can I leave this room?"

"After Bruce gives you the shot, then we can do whatever we want." She tilts your head up to move your hair out of your face. You look at her with an amused expression, "where do you plan on taking me this time?” Natasha smirks at the question. She loves spending all her time with you and the sight of you enjoying yourself makes it better. "There’s a new bookstore open, thought you might like it. Also an amusement park. It’s a few hours away but I can always drive. Oh, Tony’s cabin. I’m sure he’d love you to meet his newborn Morgan.”

“Sounds like you have a list,” you muse.

Natasha hums, pulling you closer. “I do.”

final one!! no one’s really looking forward to this but I enjoyed writing it anyway :)

btw wrote this way before thor: love and thunder so i have no idea what him and the guardians are up to but i wish them the best

[shameless plug] check out this natasha ambience i made some people thought it was cool