#i dont think anything after the first five tags shows up in the main tags but whatever

[non-plutonian-druid]

hello all i have an absolute monster of a meta essay for you that I like to call “The Umbrella Academy is so close to saying something about the concept of nuclear families and if the writers are doing it on purpose its going to be beautiful”. Its almost 2k words.

For the record, since i think its relevant and greatly informs my thoughts, i am a nonpartnering aromantic person and i strongly believe that the idea that a family is a pair of romantic partners and their children needs to go. Thats uh. Bigger than the scope of this essay. But it does inform a lot of my thoughts on this particular theme in the umbrella academy so there you go.

First, some semantics: technically the only family member to actually get to the point of “nuclear family” is Allison, who then divorces her romantic partner. Only her and, technically, Diego, have kids. Most of the others have love interests but because of the beauty of being different people with different life experiences, their particular romances often do not fall specifically into the the box “nuclear family”, though some could eventually given time (and some may not ever). That being said, associated with the term “nuclear family” is a pattern, historically, of children growing up and finding a romantic partner and moving out into a single-family home, where they have children raised only and specifically by them and their romantic partner, and they thus grow apart from their siblings and parents. This is a pattern that is held, at least in America, as The Best pattern, and anyone who does not achieve it is failing in some way. And that pattern, of leaving behind the family you grew up in to make a home and a family with a romantic parter? That’s everywhere in TUA. I would argue that the tension between the siblings’ urges to follow it, and between their urge to reconnect with each other, is one of the main themes and a main source of tension through all of the show.

Pre season 1, most of the Hargreeves build their own lives after escaping from Reginald, but only Allison creates her own family. Then, in season 1, a few relevant things happen

One, Allison is separated from her daughter, and desperately wants to return to her. Returning to her daughter inherently and repeatedly means separating herself from her siblings and returning to a family unit that does not involve them. I am not arguing that this is a bad thing, or that Allison should not be with her daughter; I am pointing out that the family Allison has with Claire is separate from the one she has with her siblings (There is one notable exception to this, based on my memory; Allison asks Luther to join her on her flight to LA in the Day That Wasn’t, after they rekindle their romantic relationship).

Two, Viktor begins a relationship with Leonard, who deliberately isolates him from them, which does fit the pattern but is kinda unfair to use to serve my point lol

Three, Klaus meets Dave. Klaus has the power to return to 2019 at any point he wants, and could even bring Dave if he so chose, but remains in the 60s away from the modern day and his family with Dave until Dave tragically dies.

and Four: the world threatens to end and the umbrella academy tries, badly, to fix it by coming together once again. Allison is constantly torn between wanting to help save the world and wanting to be with her daughter, Viktor is manipulated away from his family (not that the hargreeves probably needed the help lol), and Klaus breaks away entirely to spend months away from them with a man he falls in love with. Bad things? Not necessarily, apart from Viktor’s shitty boyfriend being abusive. But the beginning of a pattern.

Season 2. The Hargreeves have all had months or years in Dallas, and many of them are beginning new lives with new families.

Allison, once again, is married. Viktor has a blossoming relationship with a woman he loves and is devoted to taking care of her son, who he loves too. Diego has acquired a love interest as well (Lila my beloved), Klaus is trying to prevent his past-future boyfriend from enlisting, and Luther is trying to figure himself out. Obviously a major tension in this season is between Five trying to round up his siblings, and his siblings’ prioritizing their lives in Dallas, which they’ve built with hard work and are just getting used to. This does not involve a tension between a nuclear (or nuclear-ish) family and their siblings for all of them, but it does for Allison especially, and Viktor, and to an extent, Klaus. An important thing to note here is that the siblings are not averse to reuniting, as they often were in season 1. They have been worried about each other! They have been looking! and yet even once they reconnect their little lives stay separate. They talk about it, but do not invite their siblings into their lives. They meet love interests offhand, but do not integrate. All of them, even when trying to reconnect, still have two separate lives that they have to choose between.

Season 3. Oh boy.

perhaps not “oh boy” for the reasons that you think. The reason its “oh boy” is because there are three parts to how i will talk about s3: The romantic interests-slash-nuclearish families, the way the hargreeves talk about their own family, and The Ending.

First, Allison again. Allison begins the season once again wishing desperately to find Claire, and mourning leaving Ray behind. She leaves almost immediately, and gets to LA only to find that Claire does not exist. Getting to a world where Claire exists, or Ray exists, or both, becomes her motivation for the rest of the season, pitting her against multiple of her family members. Fair! She is more worried about the family she has lost than the family that is right in front of her and fine, which is perfectly reasonable. And obviously, she is considerably more invested in her toddler’s well being than her adult brothers’. What I point out is that once again, her family with her siblings and the families she’s made are separate entities from each other, and this fact is forcing her to choose between them.

Second, Luther. Luther’s relationship with Sloane begins similarly enough to previous ones in the show- Luther is making a choice between a romantic partnership and his siblings, it causes tension, the romantic partnership and his siblings form two different units and never the twain shall meet. But. Then Sloane gets folded into the Hargreeves siblings- or rather the Umbrellas, since she’s a Hargreeves too lol. Sloane is... not a character, no offense, but I’m presuming that she is supposed to be integrated with the Hargreeves since that is the impression of the writers intentions that I get and for the sake of being nice to them I will pretend that they succeeded. Interesting! A romantic partnership that is integrated into their family, and not existing as a separate one adjacent to the rest of them! That has never happened before. Even Allison and Luther’s romance is not Part of the family formed by the rest of the siblings; it is, narratively, treated as something separate

Three, Diego. And Lila. Once again, a change of pace. Lila comes here for Diego only at first, but quickly is embroiled in the Plot and the Family. Lila has always been more integrated with the family than other love interests, if only because she has much more plot relevance than most of them, but even then her primary real interactions have been with the Handler, outside of the family entirely; or Diego, with the occasional exception of trying to murder Five. This season she is fully and completely part of the family, and has one on one, meaningful interactions with not only Diego but Allison, Five, and Klaus as well.

 Two love interests in one season that arent separate from the rest of the family, huh?

So what about the way the Hargreeves talk about their family this season?

Allison begins the season once again wishing desperately to find Claire, and leaves almost immediately. Viktor encourages her to leave, believing that Claire still exists and that finding her will help Allison. To do so, he encourages her to find her “real family”.

Later, Klaus goes on a roadtrip to find his biological mother. On the way, he commiserates with Five about their lives, and they both wonder if what they have could even be called a family.

Contrasting, there are multiple scenes on multiple occasions in season 3 alone where Allison, Five, Luther--  all of them-- declare their love for each other. They’re a family. No matter what.

Hm.

Now The Ending.

The Ending is one of the saddest parts of the show to me, and makes me desperately hope that The Umbrella Academy gets a season 4, because The Ending leaves the siblings utterly divided.

Luther is searching for Sloane.

Diego and LIla are presumably going to build a life together with their future child.

Allison is all the way in LA, living an idyllic dream where both Ray and Claire are alive and returned to her.

Even the remaining siblings, who do not have lives laid out for them, have walked away from one another to return to normal, nonpowered lives. If the story ends here, in the tension between the family you grow up with and the family you build with a partner, the siblings have prioritized their own lives, and the family they’ve spent three seasons trying to reconstruct falls apart under the weight of.... living a normal life.

What I want from the Umbrella Academy, what I hope we get if there is ever a fourth season, is the Hargreeves figuring out what family works for them. They have constantly been pulled between their siblings and their own lives, and have almost never allowed the two to mix. I find the story of the nuclear family, where all people are expected to find a partner and have children and for that and only that to make a normal life, to be depressing and isolating. I desparately want the Hargreeves, who have been trying so hard to reconnect, to find a better story for themselves. Every season so far has been building a stage for this storyline. Season 3 is literally ending with many of the Hargreeves getting idyllic little family units while walking away from each other, and if that doesn’t spell “we’re going to be Dealing With That” then I don’t know what does. They really could be telling a story that says “Leaving the family you grew up in behind doesn’t have to be the only answer”. It could be so good. But do i trust the writers to realize what they’re doing, or is their writing just littered with unexamined assumptions about how families are structured? I just don’t know.

#tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #i mention ben exactly zero times so he doesnt get tagged but hes here in spirit #ha #lila pitts #i dont think anything after the first five tags shows up in the main tags but whatever #writing this made my brain melt out of my ears and then i had to edit it? gross #i didnt have to edit it but i did want it to be like. readable and not complete nonsense #i could do an epilogue about five who also kind of has a little family off with delores #that is simultaneously necessary for his sanity and also always always second to his siblings #but i didnt really have anything to say about it other then 'thats a thing that happens!' so i didnt include it #not that this whole thing is THAT much more than 'thats a thing that happens!' but #anyway when talking about all this 'the little families they build with a romantic partner' and #'their lives they build away from their siblings that may or may not include a romantic partner' #are easy to get tangled up and i think i fell into that a few times #but im specifically trying to get at the common narrative of leaving beihind your old family to make a new one with a romantic partner #and how that doesnt need to be the only narrative to exist #you dont need to leave your siblings behind to build a family #the two do not need to be separate #they can be if that is what is good for your life #but they do not have to be #tua s3 spoilers #s3 spoilers #tua spoilers

[toodrasticallydumb]

20 questions for fic writers

Oh! Hello! I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 ! Thanks for thinking of me pinky! I’m kinda new to the whole fanfic scene so i really appreciate it! This was already a long list of questions to begin with but i fear i may have made it worse…

OH WELL HAVE FUN SPORT :}>

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Unfortunately just 2, though I do plan to add a few more in the future as ideas flow. Might take me a minute ‘cause my schedule is just a little bit kinda sorta really swamped down with my main child which requires let me you, A LOT OF CARE DONT SIGN UP TO ADOPT KIDS PEOPLE IT’S NOT—

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Phew. ummmm it changes very rapidly (because i’m a girl w suspected adhd and can NEVER be told to shut up) with every chapter but as of this moment is 228,665! wow! i don’t really know how great of a number that is but i’m sure it’s a lot! I told you I can never shut up! (-whispers- Hey kid, u want some dRuGs? i mean- an update? That itty bitty word count is about to take another not regularly scheduled mini-skyrocket so get ready for it ehehe ;})

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For now, just Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia, mainly Trollhunters despite the fact that the first of the Tales of Arcadia shows that i watched and really enjoyed was actually 3-Below, but oh well my man is in Trollhunters sooooo oopsie but i DO have some random snippets of fics for Miraculous (rewrite), the Star Wars sequels (rewrite), Batman, some for the Dream SMP, and weirdly enough also Raya and the Last Dragon (rewrite). All of which i prolly wont ever post because i wrote them a while ago and yeaaaahhh not my best writing but if i get enough people other than my best friend wanting me to post them, i might…

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uhhhh i dont actually HAVE five fics to my name, so i’ll just…put em in order (w their long-ahh title names):

Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen

'A MiStAkE' because I haven't updated in ages--A Stricklake month 2023 prompt collection

but i am so happy for the people who have left so many kudos on my work it really warms mah little heart ❤️

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. At first, I sorta struggled with it (who the heck am i kidding i STILL do) but since my fic USED to be two times a week updates i would feel like i couldn’t respond to a comment left after i posted a new chapter so i might’ve left some comments in the earlier days unanswered, super sorry. Nowadays i make it a point to reply back to everyone in the order that they commented in because (anxiety makes me think if i don’t respond they won’t comment anymore and know that i love reading their comments and that they’re so amazing for actually taking the time to write something back AND I DO LOVE IT I PROMISE IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND—) …because it’s pretty chill to geek out w em and see they liked stuff that i loved to write! I do have a backlog of comments to get to i just end up overthinking everything to match the person’s energy to be sure they know i love em.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Unfortunately, i haven’t actually finished a fully-fledged fic to say it has the angstiest ending bUt definitely a contender would be chapter 1 of my 2023 Stricklake prompt collection because i just leave it on the sad note and don’t do anything about it because angst and because spoilers for my actual story fic that will eventually make it to that point.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending, huh? I like to say that most of the things i will/have chosen to write end happy/hopeful because i hate when books/tv shows end bittersweetly it’s like i have enough with life itself being bittersweet most of the time let me be happy LET THEM BE HAPPY. But that doesn’t exclude me from providing the proper banquet of angst that ends in caretaking, my absolute favorite trope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh heck no. I would be devastated honestly, but thankfully everyone who comments is always the sweetest and kindest people ever and really encourage me to keep going, for that i am only thankful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just no. I love romance but i am a minor, so i’ve never consumed smut nor intend to ever write it. Give me a soft romance and loving gestures, I can allude to greater happenings but not details.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t, sorry. I don’t know something in me just doesn’t sit well with crossovers, for the life of me I don’t know why. Like genuinely i wish i could get into them but maybe it’s like food on a plate? i don’t like the foods touching each other so maybe the same rules apply??? yeah i’m drasticallydumb

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, and if someone did they’re in for a heck of a lot of work there…

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I’d like to sometime but i have no idea how one even goes about making a co-written fic, on top of which i am a very sporadic person in terms of motivation and random ideas produced by a song i’m listening to while writing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Stricklake obviously is a really big contender if not the winner, the ship that brought me to AO3, writing fanfics, and tumblr. But, if i had to pick other options i’d say Eugene and Repunzel from Tangled would be one of my ogs, another might be uhhh Chris and Aviva from Wild Kratts the og of the ogs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Chapter 3 of my stricklake 2023 prompt collection, it just has a lot of moving parts and me and my best friend are chronic procrastinators and with the month pretty far gone it might just end up sittin’ there for the foreseeable future 😞 but who knows

16. What are your writing strengths?

Phew, that’s a dozy mainly because i’m not super sure. I’d like to think one of my main strengths is descriptions and really putting you in the mind of the character, i don’t really like spelling things out and i like a little investigating to get you where u end up, u know? I like to think my writing FEELS a little more like a show on a page rather than a true book, most to blame would be my maladaptive daydreaming taking up a lot of time in my planning for my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah. How the turn tables. I would say that my weaknesses in writing mostly consist of me going a little *too* far into detail on meaningless things or making it too convoluted for people to understand, sometimes spelling it out is better in certain scenarios and i just really need to get myself past that. Another one i would say is that i go REALLY into detail not only in a sentence/chapter sense but also a complete STORYLINE sense, i hate time skips and i shoot myself in the foot wanting to completely document every moment of everyday w a character and hence it seems like a lot of time in universe hasn’t gone by. Trying to improve and grow tho 💪

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Can’t wait to do more of it! Especially with Claire and her family (including NotEnrique) speaking spanglish w each other automatically mainly because i am hispanic and completely fluent in Spanish and live in a similar household so i just love to add a little ✨personalization✨ to my dialogue and interactions in that way. Other languages………….yeaaaahhh i’m not super good will prolly use google translate and hope.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters, my gateway into AO3. HOWEVER. if you promise not to tell, the very first fandom i read/wanted to write a fanfic for was actually, as far as i can tell, Wordgirl. don’t ask why. don’t ask me how. it just kinda happened. But, officially, it’s Trollhunters. (maybe with a side of Warrior Cats).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Not hard at all! My pride and joy, my youngest baby in the grand scheme of my writing journey, Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen! A surprise to absolutely NO ONE. It’s honestly so amazing to both write and see people read and enjoy as much as I do, he’s my little man ❤️ And doing so much rewriting and character growth and having so much written and planned for the future, it’s just my absolute fav

#toa trollhunters #barbara lake #stricklake #strickler #toa #long post #trollhunters #fanfic #Destiny’s Ill-fitted Chosen #stricklake month #questions #tagged #ao3 #tales of arcadia #ask answers #ask games #fan fiction #writing games #yeaaaaahhhhh i may have made this way to long #but you get to know me so hopefully it’s worth it! :}}} #love to get to know everyone else who responds to pinky’s tag too #i am about to make my great return to posting mildly often on tumblr #i think #i hope. #or maybe this is one of those outbursts that happens once a blue moon and then i disappear of the face of the earth #gotta keep y’all on ya toes.

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post! #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

[make-me-imagine]

Daffodils: New Beginnings

Valentines Special: Day Eight

Day One: Morning Glories  //  Day Two: Blue Salvias Day Three: Sunflowers  //  Day Four: Pink Camellias Day Five: Yellow Tulips   //  Day Six: Violets Day Seven: Lisianthus - Day Nine: Red Roses (link to post with all endings listed)

Plot: The reader keeps receiving flowers and sweet messages every day from an anonymous source leading up to Valentines Day. But who is sending them?

Choose your own character ending (coming on Valentines Day).

Gender!Neutral Reader x ???

Triggers: Brief mention of fighting        Words: 1,569

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February 13th

"You sure you’re alright?” Wanda asked as she watched your rub your shoulder. 

“I’m good, just a little sore.” you said reassuringly. 

You had been called out on a mission with Steve, Wanda, and Natasha to check out a possible hit on a SHIELD office. You managed to catch the assault team before they made it into the building, but a fight broke out. When you were fighting one of the men, he pulled you down a short flight of stairs, you banged your shoulder pretty bad, but it seemed to be alright now. 

You were riding back to the tower now, sitting in the back seat with Wanda.

“You should get your shoulder checked out when we get back, just in case.” Steve said, looking at your through the drivers mirror. 

“Is that an order Captain?” you asked with sarcasm as you leaned forward, talking to Steve over the seat. 

You could see him smirk at your question as he peaked back at you “If it has to be, then yes.” 

You smiled in amusement as you sat back in your seat “Yes sir” you said, saluting, making Wanda chuckle and Natasha and Steve smirk at your response. 

Doing just as he said, you had your shoulder scanned in the medical wing once you returned. But finding no real damage you went back to work. Entering into the large main room, you staggered back as a man carrying a large box passed by you when you came through the doors. Looking around you saw a bunch of people walking around. It took you a moment before you remembered that they were the people hired to set up the Valentines party.

This room was going to be the main room for the party, tables set up for the dinner and a stage in the front for the entertainment. Seeing through the large doors to your left, you figured that would be where the dancing would take place. 

Looking around, you could tell the color scheme was going to be gold and red, classy, but a bit gaudy in some areas. You saw Tony walk through nearby doors, explaining something to one of the decorators, turning, he spotted you. Leaving the decorator with a last instruction he walked over to you. 

“So, what do you think so far?” he asked as he stood next to you, motioning to the room. 

“No chocolate fountain?” you asked with sarcasm. 

You saw his eyes light up as he snapped his finger “A chocolate fountain!” Turning to one of the nearby people, he got their attention “Any chance of getting a chocolate fountain?” 

You rolled your eyes “Tony, that’s too much!”

“No no, it’s a good idea” he said to you before looking back to the other person who began writing something down “And get some skewers, fruit and marshmallows, it can be like a giant fondue station.” 

“That doesn’t sound very sanitary” you said with a frown.

He hesitated for a moment “No, it’ll be fine, we’ll put up a sign, no double dipping” You shook your head with a laugh as he turned fully towards you “So, how’d your little mission go?”

“Fine, we stopped the assault, arrested all of the members, Nat and Clint will be questioning them.” 

Tony opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted as someone called him from across the room “Go ahead, I’ve got to get back to work anyway” you said as you parted ways. Leaving the room you felt anxious again thinking about the party and what would happen. Trying to shake away the anxiety, you got back to work. 

- - -

You managed to distract yourself by working the rest of the day, and now you were sitting at the kitchen bar in the public part of the tower. Public meaning it could be accessed by all of the Avengers. 

“Hey” Wanda greeted as she wandered in “What are you doing in here?” 

You smiled at her and lifted your hand in greeting “Just finished work, I’m waiting for the rest of the party planners and decorators to leave for the day, they are constantly using the elevators and stairs, filling them with people and stuff.” you chuckled. 

She sat down next to you “Yeah, I couldn’t even get to the elevator in the first place” she chuckled “How’s your shoulder?”

“It’s good, no pain anymore.” you responded “So, are you looking forward to Tony’s party?” you asked her. 

She shrugged “Not particularly. I’m not one for crowded parties.”

“Me neither, but Tony will never get over it if I don’t show up, you too probably.”

“Oh yes I know, he told me so himself” you both chuckled. 

"Tony and his parties.” you commented just as the doors opened. Clint, Steve and Natasha walking in. 

“Ah, there you two are. “ Clint said as they made there way over to you. Clint and Steve sat at the bar with you and Wanda as Nat moved behind the bar. 

You sat and talked with the others for a while, about today’s planned attack, about who they were hired by, and then about Tony’s party. You started to feel the now familiar anxiety rise in your chest. Making yourself yawn, you feigned drowsiness before rising “Alright, I need to get some sleep.” you said, knowing that, though you were tired, you might not be able to sleep anyways. 

“Goodnight” Wanda, Nat and Steve said as you began to leave.

“Hey” Clint said.

Turning back to him you rose your brow. “Did you get any flowers from your secret admirer today?” he asked with a smirk.

“Ooh, yeah I almost forgot about that” she smirked as she looked at you. Wanda and Steve turned to look at your as well. 

“Uhh, no, but I haven’t been back to my room since lunch, soo”

“Soo, maybe there will be something now?” Nat said with a smile. 

Saying nothing you just smiled, cocked your head and then spun around, leaving in silence. Hearing chuckling from the others behind you as you left. You had actually successfully been distracted to the point where you forgot about the flowers. 

Luckily all of the decorators and planners had been long gone, so you could make your way to your room easily. As you stopped at your floor, you braced yourself for what would be on the other side, feeling a sense of familiar excitement. 

As the doors slid open, your eyes were already trained on your door. And placed at the bottom, was a tall bouquet of pale yellow daffodils tied together with white silky ribbon, a note dangling from the side. 

Quickly making your way to your door, you unlocked it before picking up the bouquet and going inside. This was the last bouquet you would get before learning who was behind all of this tomorrow. Your heart seemed to be hammering in your chest as you stared at the note.

You were almost afraid to read it. You hesitated before setting it down and going to the bathroom. Getting ready for bed, you grabbed the flowers and put them into a vase, a new one you bought at the store. Sitting on your bed, you fiddled with the note in your hand. Slowly opening it, you psyched yourself up a bit before you began to read the note. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Daffodils

Daffodils mean “New Beginnings”. I chose these because tomorrow will be the start of a new beginning for the two of us. No matter what happens. I, of course have my own wishes of how tomorrow will go, and I am sure you do as well. Perhaps you have your own desires of who I am, and I hope that I do not disappoint you when you find out who I am.

I have so much more I want to write, but cannot seem to put it properly into words. I’m sure we are both nervous about tomorrow, but I do truly feel as though we are meant to be. And though I cannot see the future, I know tomorrow will be the start of something new, and I can only hope that it will be great. ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Reading over the note a few times you lied back on your bed as you stared up at the ceiling. You had stopped trying to figure out who it could be. Knowing that they were careful enough not to let anything seem obvious. And if you had been talking to them one on one, or when everyone would be talking about the flowers, they were careful enough not to say anything that would make them seem suspicious. 

For a moment, you debated not going to the party at all. And chickening out instead. But you only entertained the thought for a moment before you felt guilt for even thinking it. They did not deserve that. No matter how afraid you might be about what might happen tomorrow, they didn’t deserve to be stood up, especially not after everything they have said and done. But then again, what if they stand you up? What if they change their mind, and you never find out who they are?

You closed your eyes, your thoughts running rapid through every possibility of what could happen tomorrow. Eventually, without really realizing it, you had drifted off to sleep.

xx xx xx xx xx

Sooo, tomorrow is the day!

I will be releasing every ending throughout Valentines Day (10 in total); starting around 5am MST. Let me know if you want to be tagged in any specific endings.

The endings will be: Bucky, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Thor, Loki, Clint, Natasha, Vision and Wanda. 

#valentines special #marvel #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers reader insert #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #bruce banner x reader #thor x reader #loki x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #clint barton x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #vision x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #tony stark #bruce banner #thor #loki #natasha romanoff #clint barton #wanda maximoff #vision #oneshot #one shot #valentines series #series

[firelxdykatara]

not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

#the vampire diaries #tvd #tvd fandom salt #anti stefan #anti stelena #salt for ts #asked #Anonymous

[justlightlysedated]

20 Questions

20 questions, writer's edition, I was tagged by @lambourngb 😊❤❤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

71! 70 for roswell and one for vagrant queen

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

468, 583!!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

not entirely sure tbh, but let's count now:

timkon, bandom, glee, specifically pukurt, but some other ships too, merlin, doctor who, torchwood, teen wolf, agents of shield, runaways, the old guard, vagrant queen, and obviously, roswell new mexico

i think there might be more, but i don’t remember rn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the cost of greatness, which i cowrote with marlo

a cure i know that soothes the soul (does so impossibly), the first pwp i wrote for this fandom lol

the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger, which i wrote for marlo

for better or for worse (til death do us part), which i also cowrote with marlo lol

it might be your wound but they’re my sutures, which i also wrote for marlo

so the pattern im sensing here is that my most popular fics were written with/for marlo which sounds about right lol

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i am not sure tbh, i write some pretty angsty one shots and longer fics, but i TRY to at least give a slightly hopeful ending, tho now that i’m thinking about it, i think the angstiest thing i’ve written was that prompt fill based on the song, for island fires and family, i remember SOBBING the entire time that i wrote it (there is miluca in that one), but ALSO there is the fic i wrote in reaction to the season one finale, which also made me cry, which was called, we both know how this story ends

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

once again i’m not sure, like i said before, i try to give my fics hopeful endings if they’re really angsty, and i love me some hurt/comfort, but i’m not entirely known for writing happy, fluffy fics, tho i do TRY sometimes for certain people

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

yes!! i do love me some crossovers, and i guess i would have to say the malex, sort of doctor who au, i’m technically still writing for tove

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes??? but i’m not sure if i could classify it, like i’ll write pretty much anything within reason and if it doesn’t squick me out

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

okay, so like don’t hate me, but no, i rarely, if ever respond to comments, i just don’t know what to say at all, like i’m the type of person that really wants every single message to be unique and special, but there are only so many ways to thank someone for reading your fic, so i just tend to post things and then thank everyone for reading afterwards, if there is someone that shows up often on my notifications, or if someone asks me a specific question pertaining to the story, then i will answer, i also answer back if i wrote the fic for someone and they left a comment, and if i’m sent an ask on here about something that i wrote, but i am simultaneously the world's most shy and confident person ever, when it comes to my writing, so i’m so sorry

this doesnt mean that i dont appreciate every comment that i get because i really do, im just super shy and awkward and i may write good-ish, but i do NOT have the same way with words in person

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really?? if i have i don’t remember it, usually i’m the one who talks the worse about my own writing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, the only kurtbastian fic i’ve ever written was translated into russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep!! as y’all probably saw from my top five fics up there somewhere, marlo @bestillmyslashyheart is basically my fic writing soulmate, we just really click when it comes to writing

14. What's your all time favourite ship? to write for?

atm it’s malex, which is more than obvious, BUT before they hijacked my brain and made their home within my neurons, it was skimmons!!! i wrote fic for them for YEARS, even after i stopped watching aos

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i’m just gonna talk about fics that i’ve posted and haven’t updated and not any of the hundreds of wips that have never seen the light of day, my original witch au tbh, i just, roswell made maria and isobel somehow related, and just made me really uncomfortable with the ship, which is the main reason that i’m not gonna finish the fic if i’m being perfectly honest, there is ALSO that au i had where michael’s daughter from the future comes back to the past and she had been raised by alex, because of reasons that are petty, probably my space opera au as well, and only because i just want to write other things MORE

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m good at describing things, especially kisses, i LOVE writing kisses, it’s one of my favorite things, that and my fight scenes are two of the things i pride myself the most on

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue, sometimes i feel the characters are ridiculously out of character, but then i don’t care because sometimes in canon characters are also ridiculously out of characters, also describing things, because sometimes i just feel like scenes don’t flow right, i am definitely a comma whore, and use dashes and hyphens in places they definitely shouldn’t be used, run-on sentences are my best friends, also english isn't my first language, so, sometimes the way i phrase things just come out wrong

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

tbh completely honest, i follow the nora sakavic method where you just write the dialogue in english like, “hey there love,” they said in perfect french, and i only break this rule if i actually know the language because just translating straight from english always makes things sound stilted and weird

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

dc comics, i wrote several timkon fics which i posted on livejournal

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

oh, i know that love is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the end (still i loved it), no specific reason why, i just love it with my entire heart!!

and that's it!! im not gonna tag anyone cause I saw that most ppl were already tagged, but if you want to do this just say that I tagged you!!

#thank you for tagging me!! this was super fun!!

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! music idol au (karasuno ver.)

at long last here it is!! also most of this is based on my knowledge about kpop groups and the industry (as a kpop fan) but i made a lot of tweaks and i’m basically imagining this in a world where the kpop industry wasn’t so hard on its idols and churning out commodities. but yeah! this is going to be the first part of a series so stay tuned for more! also this is p long because i added hc’s for kiyoko and yachi >~<

okay so in my head karasuno (or KRSN im sorry im bad at coming up with names) is like one of those really large groups that hav sub-groups kinda like NCT

they're from a fairly small entertainment company called umm KS Entertainment (im sorry im bad at names hnghn pt. 2)

its headed by ukai who's also like a really awesome choreographer and takeda who's like YG if YG had an exact opposite really kind twin who actually values their idols

(sorry im really salty)

takeda is honestly the sweetest, he's responsible for scouting and judging auditions

he'll basically let anyone who appears to put their all in pass the audition

he also likes to take care of all the trainees and make sure ukai hasn't made them dance to death

production crew are: ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita

kinoshita's like responsible for planning the concepts for every comeback

sometimes he thinks of really wild ones and ukai's jus like whoa there lets tone it down a bit

narita tag-teams with kinoshita by being karasuno's amazing stylist

his favorite person to style is suga but dont tell anyone that

and lastly we have ennoshita who singlehandedly produces every track on every album

he's also a really good vocal coach

and he's very tired because he's the producer and he also has to deal with tanaka and noya knocking on his door every five minutes

subgroup (night) KRSN-N

consists of: daichi, suga, asahi, noya, and tanaka

ok so karasuno has basically two main types of concepts: night (which is more like rugged and bad boy) and day (which is more boy-next-door and sweet)

the night subgroup has like a very strong rap line consisting of daichi, noya, and tanaka while for vocals we have suga and asahi

daichi is their leader ofc

he, suga, and asahi were in the same batch of trainees and had to (survive) live with each other for quite a while

his rap skills are really consistent and he has really good flow. also tends to start off their songs

his dancing skills are also impressive and basically just a great all-around guy

he's also really stressed from managing his group members esp because they're all children

asahi is one of their only two vocalists but he also has some good skills with music production and likes to work with ennoshita

he has a really deep but mellow voice

really shy when it comes to being onstage and meeting fans but he has the sweetest smile

tanaka is part of their dance line because boy can he bust out the moves

doesn't mind performing without a shirt. kinoshita has styled with him just wearing a jacket most of the time

his stage presence is just woah

the kind of performer who'd really get up close and personal with cameras and also people's phones

everything about him screams bad boy except for when he's really sweet in fansigns

noya is like their lightning-fast rapper who always comes in during the bridge

takeda heard him rap for barely a minute and quickly signed him in

more often than not enters the stage while piggybacking tanaka or asahi

also an amazing dancer who does all the gravity defying flips and jumps

he was invited more than once to collab with other artists

he and tanaka are trainee buddies and were inseparable ever since they ran into each other naked in the shower room

now for suga

he's like main visuals also main vocals also main dancer

was talented ever since he sprouted from the womb

he actually didn't audition his mom posted a video of him covering 'euphoria' by jungkook which takeda happened to come across

his voice is very high and he often harmonizes with asahi during the chorus

also tends to be really affectionate with daichi onstage and everywhere basically

so many 'daisuga being karasuno's parents for 15 mins' videos

subgroup (day) KRSN - D

NOW WE HAVE THE CHILDREN CHILDREN

okay so these guys have been together since their trainee years and basically had to live in the same room

which was like chaotic because they were always fighting and only yamaguchi knew how to do laundry so everyone was trying to be his friend

until daichi and takeda gave them a little pep talk so they don't hate each other so much now

n e weigh

first up we have yamaguchi who is basically jus very boy-next-door and also the unofficial leader of the group

he has an amazing voice and can hit the highest notes and he has a tendency to wink at the cameras

main vocalist and visuals

his fans love him because he's just so sweet

sometimes daichi comes in to check on how he's doing and treats him to a meal

he likes to check on other members during live shows

looks stunning in white suits also the fans made a petition for him to grow out his hair and now his hair is long

he and tsukishima have both dreamed of becoming idols and auditioned together

tsukishima's the main (only) rapper of the group

my brain: hnGhh rapper tsukki nskdkssm

he had to work on his stage presence but when he finally Got It he is such a master at it

also had to work on his dancing because he looked like a wiggling beanpole at first

most of his lines are actually written by him esp because he didn't want to say anything that felt embarassing for him and ukai was like 'why dont u write ur songs then?' and he's like 'mAYBE I WILL'

hinata's our other main vocalist, also main visuals and main dancer

his voice is p ordinary but whats great about him is that he's able to keep it consistent while busting out the hardest moves

personally learned a lot of his dancing from noya and tanaka

also he's always in the center because he's short and he looks adorable

he can nail the high notes too btw

he's the kind of idol who has the most random and funniest videos on twitter

kageyama's like their genius maknae

he had been training for such a long time and he actually wanted to be booked for another entertainment company but was rejected (hmm i wonder which company this was ??)

but he was a fan after seeing suga practicing when he toured the company and decided to join KRSN

he's in the vocal line as well and also main dancer

his voice is a lot lower so he harmonizes with yamaguchi and hinata

he and hinata were very competitive when it came to dancing during their trainee days

but they balance each other out pretty well and like to choreograph dance breaks together

super shy around fans and fansigns

most of the pics of him have kageyama doing the peace sign because he's awkward af

KRSN as a whole

takeda and ukai really encourage all of them bonding together and taking breaks in between all the stress of practicing and performing

they all live in one big house and its really chaotic

very few people know how to cook and do laundry

also there is an average of 2 accidents per week

but they do get along when it comes to practicing for the next comeback, especially when the subgroups have to collab

ennoshita's studio is a mess of sticky notes and crumpled up paper with probs asahi, daichi, tsukishima, and ennoshita napping on a couch

suga loves being able to train hinata and yamaguchi with vocals and they have a project of covering a new song every week for the fans

tanaka, noya, kageyama and hinata also spend a lot of time in the dance studio

whenever there's a new song they like to come up with movements to add to the choreography

after a really hard day of dancing they end up falling asleep in the studio and waking up to take-out courtesy of takeda

photoshoots and styling sessions take forever since there are so many of them but also its a good time for the members to get some sleep

but kinoshita and narita do not but in the end its all worth it when they see the photos and the reactions from the fans

their music and performances are very varied since they like to show that they're versatile as much as they can

they don't really prioritize being precise and flawless, more on channeling the emotion of their songs and power in their dances

no two performances of the same song are ever the same 

KIYOKO

okay so takeda also had this genius idea of bringing out solo acts and after another round of auditions, kiyoko caught his eye

she's a bit older with idol training and recently left the group she was supposed to debut with because the company didn't treat them right

my girl kiyoko knows her rights

she's basically an all-around talent: good at singing, dancing, rapping, and visuals

takeda knew he would be dumb to overlook her and even though they've mostly been producing boy bands, maybe they'll have success with a solo female idol

kiyoko was very clear abt wanting to have more control over how she was going to be presented and also wanted the opportunity to write her own songs

and takeda and ukai were jus like well yeah duh, that's why we scouted you

kiyoko was like an immediate success

her style is def very sassy and sexy, especially with her dancing ability

kind of like Chungha or Hwasa

but her fans also like her more melancholic and deep songs that are accompanied by her piano playing

she's also super confident and loves to use her platform to empower women

sometimes she does get together with the KRSN members

she collabs pretty often with suga esp when it comes to dance covers and performances

the day she asked tanaka and noya to be back-up rappers for one of her songs was the happiest moment of their lives

kiyoko's a fucking queen

HITOKA

because i wrote hc's for kiyoko i have to make one for yachi too

she's quite interesting because yachi joined like one of those idol training shows and kiyoko happened to be a guest judge

watching yachi sing made her sense some sort of potential so kiyoko being the bad ass bitch she is convinced takeda and ukai to work with her

yachi almost died hearing that Queen Kiyoko thought she had potential

her first years training to be an idol were really tough on her, esp since she was aiming to be a solo act

but she spent a lot of time training with the KRSN - D group and they really helped boost her confidence

everyone in KRSN and kiyoko asked their fans on twitter to support her when yachi's first album dropped

yachi's music is super mellow and light and she has a very sweet, high voice

comeback stages and music video shootings are pretty scary for her but she really shines in live, studio sessions

also knows how to play guitar

writes her own songs !!!

during her first fan meeting she prepared a bunch of presents for her fans and was scared that no one would come but a whole bunch of people did and she was so happy she almost cried

haikyuu!! music idol au series: karasuno vers., seijoh and shiratorizawa vers., nekoma and fukurodani vers.

#im sorry the names of things are so bad im ksngsdn #haikyuu!! music idol au #haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #karasuno music idol au #karasuno #coach ukai #takeda-sensei #hinata shoyo #kageyama tobio #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukishima kei #ennoshita chikara #kinoshita hisashi #narita kazuhito #tanaka ryuunosuke #nishinoya yuu #azumane asahi #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #shimizu kiyoko #yachi hitoka

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

#journal shit

[a-forgotten-spirit]

Love Isn’t An Illusion (7)

Pairing: Todoroki x Bakugou, Todoroki x Reader x Bakugou, VERY SLOW BUILD

Summary:  Getting supplies for the camping trip with some fun rivalry swimming.

Words: +-7600 (I have problems)

Warnings:  bad parenting, overbearing parents, overthinking, talking about bathing suits, fear of public places, over planning, wearing a skirt, anxiety, protective Shoji, being noticed by fans, social metres, explaining swimwear, saying you have a chest (sorry if you dont, itty bitty titties are good too!), explanations of clothing, the league, undressing and people looking at you (not sexual), being self conscious, overly competitive, 

Tagged:  @kittycatspervertedheart​ @lemorrite​ @gwendlynn​ @marleps​ @thicctati2​ @saitamastamaticsoup​ @succulent-momma​ @aurorahoneybuns​ @imjusttireddudes​ @misconceptualised​ @ochabby​ @katsukisuwus​ @gayverlinq​ @star-witchs-blog​ @fallbb123 @icyhotpie​ @kyrah-williams​

A/N:  I wrote this for the fans. I do not own My Hero academia or the characters, I don’t own most of the plot for this story, I had watched the show and re-written the dialogue and plot as if the reader was the main character. Everything is centred around the reader. Please comment, makes me happy. Ask if you wish to be tagged. Patreon is still in the works as I’m not confident to do it however, for now I am doing commission stories if anyone is interested

Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

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Chapter 7

Walking into the house my mother walked up to me hands on her hips and she looked ready for a fight. I was tired and just wanted to go lay down. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her right now or at any given point if I was honest but after the exam I had, I quite enjoyed turning my brain off for a few days. 

“Who dropped you off” she inquired immediately. I sighed and hoisted my bag onto my back more comfortably as I looked up to see her. My head was pounding and Bakugou's jumper was so warm and fluffy I just wanted to go to sleep. 

“Friends from school” I answered, my heart did the weird thing where it decided to not work and beat quicker then it should. I was there with my friends. Todoroki was always ready to help me move around and helped me through the panic attack while Bakugou had brought me food and gave me his jumper. I was thankful for both. Her hand moved in a continuous motion as if to continue “Bakugou and Todoroki” I answered. 

“Todoroki, like Endeavor Todoroki,” she asked and I nodded slowly “His son, with the fire and ice. You’re friends with his son” I nodded again. She’s never been interested in heroes, at least whenever I talked about them “Oh darling look at you. He is a fine choice to swoon. Money and looks, he will make a great friend. I have to meet his father” 

I was blank. She had to be joking right. I did not just fight ten Pro heroes for my mother to go on about how I'm friends with someone as if I had something to gain “I’m friends with Todoroki for Todoroki, not Endeavor. I do not like Endeavor and I never will. I like Todoroki for who he is not who he is related to” I said slowly as if I had to sound it out. 

“Oh sure” she huffed and I knew this wouldn’t leave so I left it, she could think all she wanted, it meant nothing to me. “Bakugou, Bakugou” she whispered and hand on her chin. What was she doing? “Bakugou like the fashion designers” my head fell as I sighed out and shook my head “You are going for the top aren’t you. Just like your mum” 

“Ok, whatever. Think what you want but I like them for them” she continued to go on as I shook my head again and then walked away up the stairs and into my room. Placing my phone on to charge I wiggled my arms into the jumper and unzipped my hero costume before falling into bed and falling asleep. 

-

This morning was long, filled with questions about the boys and what they did, who I liked more. I didn’t answer a single one. I was not in the mood. I pulled on my uniform folding Bakugous’ jumper and left it on my bed. If he didn’t want me to keep it I could say I just forgot it, easy. I chose to pull on the UA jumper I had specifically asked for and then I was ready for school. My mother offered to drive, I accepted and put in my music to ignore her. Headphones covering my head and ears. Arriving I thanked her and I was off to class, as I was walking down the hall I could hear Kaminari yelling, he didn’t pass. 

Aizawa walked in and I quickly followed “Sorry” I could see the looks but one glare from Aizawa and everyone was quiet. I made my way to my seat quickly, sitting down and placing my headphones in my bag out of the way, looking up and paying full attention. 

“Morning, unfortunately, there are a few of you who did not pass your final exams. So when it comes to the training camp in the woods” he paused then his head raised a wide smile as his eyes did the same “Everyone is going” that was good. Kaminairi and Mina looked quite upset. They all asked if he was being honest and that they got to come with the rest of us “Yeah. The good news is no one bombed the written exam. Five failed the practical badly. Two teams of course and Sero failed as well” I could hear a quiet yell. I forgot he got caught with Midnight and fell asleep the whole time. “Allow me to explain, the practical the teachers made sure to leave a way for the students to win” my eyes fell and I shook my head “Except Y/N” he nodded and I looked away. They did no such thing. “Otherwise you never would have stood a chance” I rolled my eyes. 

“I think I did just fine thank you” I whispered and played with the ends of my sleeve. I spent three days in the hospital to win that goddamned test. I knew some people heard that at the little chuckles around me. 

“We were interested in observing how each of you approached the task at hand. The training camp will focus on strength” this was going to be a long camp, my head rested on my palm as I looked to Aizawa. I need to work on harnessing my quirk and not passing out every time I go overboard. “Those who failed will need those lessons the most, we were never going to separate you” leave it to the teachers to absolutely scare everyone in the class for no reason “That was just a logical deception we used” his smile was bright, he was quite proud of himself. 

“He tricked us all, I should have expected this” Iida voiced I turned seeing him quickly lunge up from his seat “Mr Aizawa this is the second time you’ve lied to us aren’t you afraid we will lose faith in you” he was standing straight his hand up in the air as he yelled. He had a point but I don’t think the teacher cared. 

“That’s a good point, I'll consider it” No he won’t, he enjoyed making us stress and try our best “But I wasn’t lying to you about everything” this man was full of surprises and it was making my head fuzzy. “Failure is failure” I smiled so not a topic for me. “We’ve prepared extra lessons for the five of you” the mood dropped drastically amongst the five. “Frankly they’ll be far tougher than what you’ll face at summer school” at least he was honest. 

The rest of the day went by as usual and I talked to Bakugou and Todoroki mostly a few people coming up to me to give their congratulations and a few telling me they thought I had died when I just fell. I laughed at that comment. 

“I had about a hundred thoughts playing at once so I overworked my brain” I smiled and scratched the back of my head, a nervous habit I picked up when I was younger. I saw confused faces. “Each illusion is a single thought if they act differently so by the end of the match I had about a hundred independent thoughts going through my head at once” 

I was bombarded with questions as I answered them without giving too much information away. I had Mina hugging me tightly at one point in tears about how worried she was, I swear my hair was wet by the end of it. I smiled, genuinely. I did have the best class anyone could ask for. This was one of the first days I wasn’t rushing to study or do anything, it felt nice and I had friends.

“We’re at the training camp for a full week” Iida readout, he seemed shocked and I nodded to myself. Another week without my parents, what more could I wish for. My parents had signed off on it earlier in the year not caring for what I did. 

“No way, I’ll need a bigger suitcase” Midoriya pondered and I thought to my belongings. I had a big enough suitcase. When I got along with my parents we had gone on a few holidays so I just had to find it. 

“No kidding, I don’t even have a bathing suit” the thought sent shivers down my spine. I would be fearful to get into the water knowing if Kaminari sneezed I could be electrocuted and die. He had control but still, it was worrying. I didn’t often go swimming so I too would need to buy one. “Guess I need to buy some stuff” 

“Guys since we are off tomorrow and we’re finished exams I have the best idea” Torus’ happy voice sang out her uniform moving indicating she raised her arms in excitement. Everyone seemed interested now. “Why doesn’t class 1-A go shopping together” it wasn’t a bad idea. I preferred to go shopping with people I knew then alone I had to admit I feared to be alone in public places just as much as the next person. 

“Hey yeah, we’ve never hung out as a class before” Kaminari smiled as Uraraka nodded enthusiastically. I could hear everyone agreeing and getting more excited about the weekend's events. I too was quite excited though, did they mean everyone in the class? 

 “Bakugou, see you there, right” Leave it to Kirishima to always ask if the explosive blonde would attend a get-together. I like that Bakugou had friends and seemed to get along with people, even if it was only a select few.  

“I can’t think of anything more annoying” his eyes were closed and face distasteful as he grimaced at the mere thought of seeing anyone in school out in public. I smiled and rolled my eyes silently as he walked off from the group hands in his pockets and back slouched. 

Everyone was talking and I smiled happily though I could hear Midoriya ask Todoroki if he was going to join the class on our little adventure “I visit my mum on days off” he smiled, small but it was there. Did he live with his dad but not his mum? Maybe they were divorced or something. I was sad he wouldn’t be there but I could understand why. I didn’t blame him. 

“Party poopers, don’t you ever get tired of being so serious” Mineta shouted, I would’ve liked both Bakugou and Todoroki to come but they had their things on. I had made friends with the class so hopefully, I wouldn’t be left to my own devices but if so I was more than capable of shopping on my own. 

“What about you Y/N” I turned to look at Jirou who had asked the question “Are you going to come” she smiled and I saw a few of the other girls smile in response. I was being offered, I had friends. I would never regret coming to this school. 

“Yeah” I nodded and stood from my desk patting my skirt down to my legs “I need some swimwear and hiking clothes” I scratched the back of my head nervously “I live in jumpers and long pants so I’ll need some outdoors clothes” I didn’t leave the house much before this year. I stayed in my room and played games now I was studying non-stop. 

“We can help with that” Uraraka put her fist in the air and I nodded unbeknownst that a few boys were more than interested in the conversation I was having. “You’ll be an outdoors person in no time” I laughed rather loudly and nodded. 

“I look forward to it” and I wasn’t lying I was beyond excited for this camp, the whole thing a new experience and I hadn’t gone on ‘holiday’ in quite some time if I was honest. 

We all walked out of the room and set up a group chat for the weekend, I waved everyone goodbye and began my trek home. Headphones on and music blaring to calm myself through the walk, it was long but when I arrived home I could see my parents were home. I walked up to the two of them turning down my music and pushing the headset from my head to my neck. 

“I’m going out with the class over the week to go shopping for the camp” I stated, they didn’t care what I did. I could see my mother think for a moment and then nodded, remembering something. 

“Yes you did make it into that camp, my bank is still connected to your card, get everything you need. A week was it” she asked not looking up, they had no concept of money because they had so much. I didn’t spend a lot of money but I did need things for the week trip. I nodded. “Ok” then I was off to my room. 

I searched my room for my suitcase, it was just a plain black hard suitcase that was big enough for a week's trip. Suitcase, done. I got out my phone and began to make a list of the things I would need. It was long but I wanted everything to be perfect and if I had no purchase limit why not spoil myself for once. 

Once the list was done I looked at the group chat and saw all the details Iida had set up sending a quick “Thank you” and mentioning Iida I was off and ready for bed. I had had dinner between rummaging through my room and making my list. 

-

Waking up the next morning I did my usual routine and stretched, I felt so relaxed no studying for me though I liked that I was still busy in away. I liked to keep myself busy. When you do things for so long and then stop you have to find something to replace it. I walked out into my room in my underwear and sighed, what was I going to wear? What was everyone going to wear? We were going to the shopping centre so casual but something I could easily take off if I needed to try things on. I laughed, I could use my illusions to see how they would look. Cute it was. 

I opened my wardrobe searching through my long-sleeved shirts until I found a black long-sleeved shirt with holes in the sleeves held together by an F/C lace-like strip that crossed over each other to the bottom of the sleeve. Short black skirt with my shirt tucked into baggily. I moved to my accessories drawers and opened it to see my belts. My F/C belt would go perfect matching the strips of lace, I placed it through the hoops in the skirt and smiled. Some simple boots and the look was complete. I brushed my hair and placed my little backpack on my back. Pull of a portable charger, my wallet and just my everyday things. Walking out I walked past my parents and I was off on my adventure sending a message I would be a few minutes late due to buses not matching up for me. 

 I hopped off the bus saying a quick thank you before I left to go into the centre, turning on my phone one last time to check I had the right information. I looked up and saw the group then looked down, was I too casual? I began to panic and shook my head. These were my friends, these were my people. 

“Hey guys, sorry for being a little late” I called out and watched as they turned to me smiling lighting up and waves being thrown though I didn’t miss the double takes I was receiving from a few of them. I walked up to them and stood in the little group we had formed. 

Everyone seemed quite excited but Midoriya was looking around in awe and muttering to himself about how all the shops captured almost every single quirk known. I laughed and felt my arm get hooped to Mina who was jumping around and full of energy like usual. I smiled. 

“You’re going to scare the children” Tokoyami blandly stated and shook his head crossing his arms in fake seriousness, at least, I thought it was fake. “Stop” I heard a few laughs as Midoriya blushed in embarrassment. 

“Wow, aren’t they UA students” a bystander called out and I turned to see a little group of people forming, this was a downfall of being in the top school but there was nothing we could do. I was going to become a hero and having fans was part of that. 

“1-A” another called out as I looked to the three men looking overly excited to see the group in public. After the sports festival, I couldn’t blame them but still yelling across the mall hallway was a lot for my anxiety. I hadn’t even thought about if anyone recognised us.

“I saw them on TV” so my accusations were right, they had seen us at the festival most likely and then the thought of my video saving people and Hero Killer Stain came into my mind. I gripped the straps of my backpack, Mina having left my side a few minutes ago. I moved to stand behind Shoji who immediately moved to shield me from the view.

Even with all the people talking and fanning Jiro and Momo were just talking about what they needed to get and see, they chose to go together. They were such good friends. I smiled at the interaction. 

“You ok,” Shoji asked his mask moving slightly with the question. I nodded and saw a few people turned to look at my still slightly shielded figure. I flushed and turned away from the looks. 

“I’m just anxious about people looking at me” he nodded and rubbed my back to calm me down “Sorry about that” I could see people shake their hands and smile, it made me feel a lot better. 

“We all have our weaknesses, though you seem so confident when fighting” Kirishima pointed out and again they nodded in agreement. My hand came to my chin to think, they were right. 

“I’m far too competitive to lose it just comes off as confidence” I laughed and scratched the back of my head my cheeks reddening at the confession “I’m one of the most competitive people you’ll ever meet. One of the downfalls of my personality” I nodded and heard a few laughs in response. 

When everyone was done saying what they needed or wanted for the trip Kirishima spoke up “Why don’t we split up and look around, we can meet up here when we are done. It’s noon so let’s say we all meet up here at three” I heard a chorus of sure's and yes’ as we all broke off.

I walked off with Shoji and Tokoyami having asked if I could tag along to the supplies store. I said I’d meet up with the girls later so I could buy some swimwear with them. We were talking and walking around until we made it to the store. Shoji grabbing a basket for us. I had moved my headphones to my bag but when I walked I could hear the keychains bounce. 

“What do you need Y/N,” Tokoyami asked and Shoji came back into the conversation from looking around. I hummed for a second taking out my phone and unlocking the device showing them both a photo. 

“I wanted to buy this, It’s a PowerPoint that has four docks for plugs and then three USB hubs. Just in case there aren't enough powerpoints I thought this would be good to bring” I explained and then pulled the phone back scrolling down “It says this store has them but I’ve never been here so I might have to ask someone” I whispered looking back up to the boys. 

“I didn’t even know they had those kinds of things but that is a very good idea” Shoji nodded impressed with the find and I handed him my phone saying to scroll as they also had others he might be interested in. 

“Yeah Y/N has a good point, we have no idea where we are going and it would be good to be prepared for anything” Tokoyami nodded and moved to look at the phone as well “They are very practical” he added and I nodded. “Anything else,” he asked my phone being handed back to me. 

“A flashlight maybe, I don’t know where we are and if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of nowhere I would like to know where I am going” a hum from Tokoyami and a firm agreeing nod from Shoji we began our quest for the items. 

It was an enjoyable trip as we rushed through each aisle and tried to find the products. The workers had told us isle five near the back to the left though all three of us stared at the shelf. “Are you guys seeing something I’m not?” I asked, turning to them. 

“No” Shoji shook his head and then tilted to shake his head, “They said isle five” we all looked up, we were in that aisle. “To the back” we were to the back of the isle “On the left” his voice went to nothing as I moved to crouch down. 

I moved a few boxes looking at the signs and then I saw them “Found them” I called out and heard a sigh of relief as I leaned forward to grab them from the back of the shelf, there were three left. I hugged them to my chest. “There’s three left” I sighed and moved to put them in the basket “No one in the class can get them” I smirked and we all laughed at the situation of us being overly prepared. 

Moving onto finding flashlights and a few other things including bug spray and a travel utility kit. “What about portable charges, there may not even be electricity. We could be camping” Tokoyami spoke up and I shrugged nodding. 

“Good point, we have no idea where we are going. I have one but when I was looking for the ports I saw one that can charge your phones up to four times in one charge” they were both interested in this new information as I showed them my phone again. “It’s pretty cheap too, sales” I smiled. We were off again looking for this device. Finding them we added them to the basket and we were leaving the store, finally. We paid for our things. I put my things in my bag and we were off once more. “Kaminari and Mina are picking out swimwear if you wanna come” 

“I need something to fit my arms, hopefully, they’ll have something” Shoji nodded as Tokoyami looked less than comfortable at the idea of trying on swimwear. I smiled and looked up the store. 

“Hey Tokoyami” his eyes turned to my own and I showed him the picture of the pitch-black swimwear set that was long-sleeved and came up his neck and down his legs. “They have a black pair that covers your whole body” I sang with a smile. 

“I guess I do need a swim set” he crossed his arms as we made our way to the store, keeping our chatter casual and easy. I put my phone away as we came into the store and met up with the two, Mineta and Kirishima had joined them. 

“Hey, guys” Kirishima waved smiling widely, happily. I waved back and we all began to browse. Mina and I moved over to the women's section even though the rash shirts in the men's section were looking more than appealing. 

Mina and I began to look through the swimwear as I sighed out, there was far too many to look through. “What do you usually wear in the water” she bounced over happily already holding a few things to try on. I, on the other hand, had nothing. 

“I don’t go swimming” I could swim quite well my parents have cared for me not drowning to get me a lesson at a young age. Though I didn’t go swimming often, we didn’t have a pool and I was very focused on studying to get into UA from a young age. 

“What’s a colour you like,” she asked and began to go through the swimwear I was looking at “This is just all shirts” she whispered more to herself then I as I nodded and she smiled “You’ll have to buy a bikini to go underneath as well” I hadn’t even thought about that. 

“I like F/C and black and yeah I do need to get a bikini” I sighed and put my head back, this was a lot for my social metre to take, my body anxious but Minas’ bubbly personality was helping my anxiety lessen. Taking out my phone I sent out a message to both Bakugou and Todoroki asking if they needed anything while I was out.

“Already got everything” was the message from Bakugou simple and easy then as I was about to click out “Thanks though” I smiled and was about to send a reply when the phone vibrated again “You should plan next time idiot” of course he couldn’t end on something positive. I replied and then moved onto Todoroki. 

“No, it’s ok. I’ll go after visiting my mother. Thank you” even though his typing style was neat and formal. Only saying what he needed too and then ending the conversation whereas Bakugou wrote whatever came to mind in that second and sent it off. I replied to him as well and then put my phone away. 

“Black isn’t a colour but I'll allow it” she stood quickly smiling out and then moving around the store grabbing Kaminari and Kirishima to help her find something for me to wear. I laughed at the awkward faces but they both went to work. 

“Y/N” I was called over to Mina who was holding a bikini set that was F/C, it was modest and covered everything that needed to be covered. I nodded and then looked to the fabric taking it, it had a nice texture as well. 

They looked nice, the bottoms weren’t held together by a string which I instantly liked and the bra part looked rather nice. The bra had little ruffles along the rim which were cute. I looked at the size and laughed. She looked confused as the boys walked overhearing the commotion. “You got a size far to small at least for the top” she tilted her hand and then looked down to my chest. 

I moved to hold my shirt against my body and her eyes widened “That’s some voodoo magic” she called out and I could see a few boys blushing as Mineta fell to the floor. “No what” she called out and looked amazed. 

I let go of my shirt and she shook her head “I just wear baggy clothing and jumpers to school. I appreciate the thought though” I laughed and moved to grab the size that fit me and she looked about ready to faint I laughed again. “It’s not the first time” she nodded and we went looking for the rest of the swimwear we all needed. “Kirishima” I watched his head turn and I held up a red swim shirt that had a picture of Crimson Riot on the back. 

“I need it but I don’t usually wear shirts” he whispered and looked overly happy that I had found it. Leaning down I showed him the matching bottoms a little picture of the hero on the bottom of them. “There we go” he nodded and got both of them “Isn’t this kinda childish though” he frowned. 

“If they had a swimsuit that had my favourite character on it, I’d get it. It’s manly to be you” I nodded and his eyes lit up as he jumped putting his arms together. He was so happy that someone had simply let him be a fan

“You’re right” he nodded and went to go show the others who were more than interested to listen to him babble about how much he loved Crimson Riot. I didn’t doubt he had far more merch then those two pieces of clothing. Though I was surprised to see the merch for such an old hero.  

I looked around as the others did, Tokoyami having grabbed the black pieces of swimwear I had shown him prior when we were walking over. Mina found some pink swimmers that complimented her and I walked further into the store seeing something I knew one of my friends would be interested in. Grabbing the colour I assumed he’d like I walked over to the group. 

“Shoji” I held up the seemingly normal swimsuit and I watched as everyone was confused until I pulled down an almost invisible zipper down the sides of the shirt and his eyes lit up. 

“You seem to find what everyone needs Y/N” I could see the smile through his mask and I nodded handing over the shirt showing him where the zipper was. “I have bottoms so I’m all done” I looked back and watched as the boys went off Kaminari having picked some yellow bottom with Pikachu on them, I smiled as they went to try on their clothes. 

I walked around until finding a nice black rash shirt with F/C strips along the ribs. Picking my size I walked over to Mina “Do you think I should get shorts or with the bikini bottoms be enough” I asked. She turned and looked at the outfit I was holding up. 

“The shirt seems pretty long so I think you should be fine” she nodded and then moved to feel the rash shirt “That’s super soft” her eyes widened and I did the same nodding. “Go try them on” I looked down and tilted my head. Creating an illusion her eyes widened “You never need to try on clothes, I'm so jealous” she cried out and I laughed “But they look super good”

I nodded. A few more minutes and trying on clothes we were ready to move on with the rest of our trip. Paying for the clothing and a reusable bag to put it in we were off everyone having bought something. We walked and talked as we moved on to different stores buying things and talking about what we would need. It was a fun trip and I had messaged my mother if she could pick me up having bought all the things I needed and it is quite a lot. She said yes, she was acting nice the last few days but I didn’t mention it. 

“I think that was a successful trip” Tokoyami pointed out and we all agreed. “It’s almost three so let’s all meet up with the group” we stopped by one more store to buy some new pillowcases and then we made our way back to the centre, being the first to arrive. 

Throughout the trip we had been stopped a few times by people interested in our school and other things, we mostly thanked them and then went on with our day. I smiled at my ‘fans’ and then we were off to the place where we said we would all meet up. Having arrived we weren’t the first, of course, Iida was here before us all, bags in hand. He dressed like a dad and I loved that he wore such formal but casual clothes. Though when we arrived we were told that Midoriya had been attacked per se by Shigaraki. The league of villains so-called leader. I was practically shaking when we were told. Then asked by police if we had seen anyone. I hadn’t even thought about the league or Stains little followers. I wasn’t safe, we weren’t safe. The police conducted a sweep but Shigaraki wasn’t found and I didn’t know if I wanted him too. Midoriya was taken to the police station to file a report. 

I stood with the rest of my peers and waved them off with a “Please be careful getting home” as I walked to the carpark placing all my new things into the boot while my mother was on the phone to someone. Getting into the passenger side I waved to the group getting waves back and raised my phone pointing to it mouthing “Message me” I got nods and then I was off on the drive home. 

My mother complained to someone on the other side of the line, but their conversation ended quickly. Her eyes glazed over to my body for a moment before talking “Did you get everything you need” she seemed very calm which was odd. 

“Yes, I did” I responded and she nodded stopping at a roundabout “I’ll be gone for a week as of the camp, I don’t know if I’ll be able to message as we don’t know where we are going” I explained as she drove through turning to the main road, the road home. 

“That’s fine, you still have your suitcase” I hummed a yes and she nodded “Your father and I are going on a week vacation while you are gone” so that’s why she was being nice. She didn’t want me there anyway. “I’ll drop you off on Monday and pick you up when you get home” I nodded and the conversation was over. 

Arriving home we went our separate ways. I moved into my room and began to get messages from everyone that they got home. I sent a message that I arrived home safely. I was so worried about the league but shook my head and began to pack my bag for the trip. I arranged everything and then began to pack, Aizawa saying they had beds for us so I didn’t need to bring Tatami to the trip. I packed my pillow and then packed around it, the piece is the biggest. Clothing folded perfectly and then placed inside. I packed the PowerPoint and extra chargers just in case. I had to charge my headphones tonight. I lifted myself from the floor and put them on to charge. 

Then came dinner, it was simple and easy to eat. Down with some ice water I was in a good mood, and excited mood. A few moments on my phone then I was back to packing. I finished well into the night having made sure I had everything but leaving a note in the bathroom to pack my toiletries the day I was leaving before I left. I believed I was ready for bed as I stretched and then looked back to the bag. Amongst shopping, I had bought some t-shirts and shorts, ready for the outdoors. My boots were thick but flat so I could wear them without care if we had to do a lot of walking. I moved to pack a few jumpers for sleeping or if it got cold. I packed Bakugous without a thought.

I had gotten a message in a new group titled “The girls” I smiled when I was informed that I was being asked if I wanted to join the rest of the girls using the schools' pool tomorrow before the camp. “Use the school swimsuit,” I said I’d be there.

-

I had arrived at school the next day wearing the school swimsuit under my regular clothes and going to the changing room to undress when I saw the rest of the girls changing. I waved as they began to talk about nothing in particular and I joined in a few times. 

“I am so excited for camp,” Toru yelled, voice high and full of energy even though it was rather early in the morning. I was still just waking up, not quite remembering how I got to school. As I peeled off my shirt I watched as the girls stopped talking.

“It’s so weird, right” I was confused and I followed their gaze to my chest as I flushed and looked away “Oh sorry Y/N” Mina apologised and I waved a hand as it was ok. It was I didn’t mind. “We went shopping  and I was amazed” 

“I can see why your outfits make you look flat” Jiro bluntly stated and I nodded looking down at my breasts. I wasn’t flat I thought I had nice breasts. We continued to get changed and then walked out into the pool area. “We got permission off Aizawa to be here so there was no need to worry” I nodded, I didn’t think about it. Momo had planned this and I trusted her. 

We were just chilling stretching off to the side of the pool when the boys began to show up. The swimsuits weren’t too bad, covering my body, I should have brought something like this for the camp but I didn’t mind too much, I thought my outfit was cute. We stretched and then we began to play volleyball. We were having so much fun playing and joking with the girls. 

“Serve”

“Chance ball” 

“Got it” 

“Mine” 

We were having so much fun with I was smiling though I kept most of my body under the water being a little self-conscious of the tight clothing I was having fun nonetheless. I threw myself back aiming for a ball and hitting it over the net as I splashed into the water on my back gaining us a point. 

When my head rose I heard a loud voice “The next time I beat you, I want you to be at your strongest, you damn nerd” I turned seeing Bakugou in all his glory, shirt off and tight pants on. I watched him storm his way towards Midoriya and my heartbeat quicken. He was so attractive. The girls and I watched on confused as to what was happening. 

“Hey I got your message, sorry I'm late” Kirishima waved his hand around smiling. His arm was out holding Bakugou from the green-headed shaking male “It took a while to convince Bakugou to come out” I wanted to thank Kirishima for trying his hardest this is all I could have wanted. He was so muscular as I sighed out and flushed glad no one was paying attention to me. 

“So Deku, you wanna settle who's the best of us right now” Bakugou was sure in a mood, his arm raised and hand outstretched to allow his palms to pop with small harmless explosions. He was sure fired up “Huh” he yelled. Midoriya stepped back shaking his head. 

“You know what we could make this training a contest” Iida spoke more to himself then the group and my ears picked up on the chatter. “Hey everyone I propose we see which of the boys can swim 50 metres the fastest. A friendly race” he smiled and I couldn’t help the way my hands twitched. There was no such thing as a friendly race, at least in my books. 

I ducked beneath the water and swam over quickly as they all rounded up. I popped out of the water on an illusion raising myself in front of them in all my glory. “I hope I’m welcome” I smiled and saw their fearful faces. Licking my lips I dropped down in front of the water falling from my body as I smiled. “I do enjoy beating you all” I was not met with smiles but determined faces of my peers.

“OK then, the boys and Y/N” Iida nodded and I moved to crack my knuckles rather loudly as I saw a few of the boys look rather excited and some just look nervous. I think I saw Kaminari wince to the sound of cracking bones. 

“Iida why don’t you let us help you out with this” Momo asked the girls now out of the pool and looking excited as the rest of us. I was bouncing around, I was far too competitive for my good. I hated not being apart of competition but this was something else. This was a real competition. Iida agreed to the help, from the girls. 

“And quirks,” Ojiro asked slowly his hand raised with a towel around his neck “Are we allowed to use them” I could win easily if we did. Just set them on a little course that wasn’t in the pool and I could easily win. 

“Well, we are at school” Iida pondered, yes, just say we can. “So there shouldn’t be a problem with that” I smiled to the group and moved my hand letting out a little mist for emphasis I saw wide eyes and worried faces. “However you cannot cause damage to your classmates or the building” I could agree with that.

Bakugou walked forward and just past me to stand in front of Midoriya, they needed a new hobby “I’m going to annihilate you Deku” clenched fists and hard stare he spoke calmly, honestly. “And you too Icy-Hot” I turned to where his eyes were to see Todoroki sitting on the floor, without a shirt. The lords have blessed me today. “You bastard” he was in a bad mood, like always. Then the explosive blonde turned to me “You especially” then he walked off and I smiled. 

“I look forward to it” I called out behind him. We all moved into lines. I was in the second heat so I watched the first five boys race. Then the whistle went off. 

Bakugou was flying through the air landing on his feet at the end of the pool. “How was that you sidekicks” he called out hand raised and I smiled when he got backlash from his friends “It’s called freestyle swimming” he had a point it was a freestyle. 

Then it was my go with Todoroki, Sero, Kirishima and Sato “On your marks, get set, go” the whistle was off and I watched as an illusion came around them jumping in as I jumped off the ledge and walked to the other end of the pool stepping up and letting the illusion fall. Sero taping his way across the surface of the water and Todoroki surfing on ice.

“You’re supposed to be swimming” Kaminari and Mineta yelled as I simply shrugged my shoulders. Watching Sato and Kirishima get to the end of the pool. Todoroki looked at me as well. 

“What can I say. I like to win” I smiled and moved back to the lines “At least I touched the water” I put my hands on my hips and lined back up “Beside quirks are allowed and I didn’t hurt anybody or property” I wasn’t wrong. 

“It’s time for the final race. Bakugou, Y/N, Todoroki, Midoriya you had the fastest four times. You will fight for first place” his hands were on his hips as I nodded Midoriya and Todoroki making a verbal response. 

“Listen up scarface" I believed that to be a little harsh to the ear but then again that was Bakugou "Don’t you dare hold back as you did at the sports festival” his voice was so angry, he really still thought about that, did he forget I had beat him? ‘Bring everything you’ve got” I didn’t take it personally, I think Bakugou had a thing for people who didn’t take him seriously, while I did. “You too fight to win” he turned to Midoriya they were all agreeing and talking. 

“Are we forgetting I beat all three of you” I voiced and it went silent. “I mean” I laughed lightly an aura of danger being released. “I don’t like when people don’t take me seriously” I smiled and saw the nods.  

We got into place and I smirked standing on the pedestal. I could hear yelling and other things as I smiled seeing the boys activating their quirks and I sighed. “Get set” this would be easy. I smiled. “Go” as I went to jump I saw no illusion appear.

I heard the yells of my opponents as I fell into the water, having just stepped in instead of swimming. I rose to see Aizawa his hair up and quirk activated “It’s five pm, your authorised pool time is officially over. Hurry up and go home” did he have to do that. It was one race that would have been over in less than a minute. Kaminari and Sero voiced my complaints. “Are you questioning me” his eyes shone and I was glad I hadn’t been the one to talk.

We all rushed to get changed and go home once we were allowed. I sighed and got out of the pool feeling my quirk return to me, it was a weird feeling when it was off. Then I was heading home having to get ready for the camp. 

I ate once I was home and then began to repack making sure I had everything I needed when I finished packing for the night and laid down being rather exhausted more then I would like to admit. I sighed out and went on my phone seeing a message I had missed about a quarter of an hour before. “Do you have a spare charger I spent longer with my mother and left mine with her” Todorokis’ message read. I smiled, he had messaged me. 

“Yeah, I’ll pack it and give it to you at camp” I responded, I was never one for emojis or the little stickers but when I received one from Todoroki it being a little cat saying ‘Thank you’ I couldn’t help the blush rising to my cheeks. “No issues” I replied and stared at the ceiling for a moment to calm my racing heart. 

I was tired but that didn’t stop me from watching a video I wanted to catch up on, a few hours passed and it was getting close to midnight, I had to get some sleep. I moved to place my phone on charge, pulling the blanket over my body and the warmth and sleep consumed my form. Hello, summer break. 

_______________________________________________________________

Chapter 8 

#mha x reader #mha #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #bnha x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou #bakugo #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo #katsuki #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki #todoroki x bakugou #todoroki x bakugo #bakugou x todoroki #bakugo x todoroki #shouto x katsuki #shoto x katsuki

[slidewhistlebj]

TUA Season 2 is finally here! I think it was a really cool season with some really awesome potential, but there are some parts that I think really didn’t work and this is how i think they should have been fixed

(Spoilers for Season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Obviously)

i think landing the siblings in different years was amazing, they got time to explore themselves and we could see their personalities through what they did

On the other hand, they didnt devote enough time to those storylines so it never felt like they had a solid purpose (for most of the siblings), it was more to show “time has passed”

How did Luther end up boxing under a gangster? How is he adjusting to no dad, no academy?? He was alone on the moon, He was left behind by his siblings in the academy, now he is alone and in a whole other *time* like i wanna hear about that!

Klaus has mansion and a cult and had a girlfriend benefactor lady?? Like: lets get into that! if the show wants humor that can be amazing

but it can also be really interesting and deep for exploring klaus’s need for both personal space (physically and somewhat emotionally) yet also his need for positive attention from whoever will give it to him!

More on that alone now track: the opening scene with their fighting was built to get us hyped

it fucking worked, that shit was amazing

but along with wishing that we saw more of their individual stories, i wish some of their growth had been gradual

like Klaus should have been showing off ghost stuff with his cult which is part of why they follow him which would set up his new ability to summon and conjure multiple ghosts at a time

instead of it being a throw away scene at the end where he gets caught

or Diego could have been shown in his ‘alone in dallas’ storyline to be trying to escape multiple times from the asylum and in that, figuring out his ability to start affecting other peoples shots at him, etc

Stuff like that would have been a great way to both dive into the characters *and* ramp up their abilities

Moving onto The Commission who i absolutely love so so much 

Hell yeah u funky lil time-space assassins

I think that the Handler should have stayed dead

her return to the show while awesome (because she is played so well by her actress) continues this problem for the show of seemingly running in place where things dont have consequences like they should

I also think her return made a very campy feel to certain parts which is fine, the story should have fun! but it doesnt fit with the vibe very well with the other more serious plots

Imagine a storyline where the Handler is replaced by Carmichael, a competent replacement with no close personal relationship to Five

A head to head show down throughout the season of Five trying to outthink and outwit Carmichael and Commission Agents to get a briefcase 

The misdirects! 

The drama! 

The action sequences and reveals!

More Screen Time for the Cool Ass Talking Fish 2k20!

All of which culminates in the board of directors scene but now with real weight behind it for the audience because we have been watching these two face off with one another for a season of build up

LET FIVE EAT THE FISH!

Giving that scene to the handler was the worst part of the whole season, u cant change my mind bros

This would also open up Lila to be more of her own person

Her storyline would change without the Handler there so that instead of being actively manipulated by the Handler, she has gone rogue from the commission to kill Five for her parents deaths due to previous planning and programming from her mother

(its only been 14 days for Five, a very normal turn around for him to desert, have the Handler tell Lila her version of the story, get killed, and have Lila get ready to take him down)

its generally the same plot, but Lila is more in the drivers seat

Going from tagging along with Diego in the hopes that Five returns for him to questioning some of her commitment to her mission as she spending time with them, etc

it could culminate in a reveal of her mother to Five and Diego and then a redemption where she helps them get a case from Carmichael in someway, looping her into the main plot in an important way with generally the same story

but skipping the pretty basic “obviously evil character is obviously evil but hero doesn't see it” trope that they fell into

I think that Luther’s arc in this season was awesome 10/10 gold standard

he was still him, but this storyline showcases the softer side of his loyalty and lets him grow from season 1 mistakes which is everything I hoped for

Comforting Vanya? Check

Being there for Five? Check

Being a voice of reason but still being a dumbass? Cheeeeeck

Diegos arc this season fell flat for me which was hard because he was such a main part of the plot 

This whole season had a build-up trying to break down Diego’s need to be a hero (which they turned to a fucking 11 from last season?? he was not *this* intense last season, im not quite sure why they made the switch), telling him that he isnt / cant be the hero

I assumed this was leading to Diego having a big moment or sacrifice that proved that hero or not, he cares and the effort that he puts into all of these different things matters

But it just didnt??

He didnt stop the president from being assassinated, he didnt save vanya, at the farm he got trapped under a tractor

it just felt like the point was “haha see he isnt a hero”

which,,,,,,okay? What the point of that??

His involvement with the Commision was weird too, i didnt care for him being a part of that storyline very much, it just didnt add anything

Allison’s arc was just on the edge of greatness for me

it was an awesome choice to put in her in a position where she wasnt treated equally and show exactly what kind of person she is by how she fights back

her not using her rumors also seems very genuine and character based here like: 10/10 character motivations and work

My one complaint, like with just about all the partners in this season, is that she fell in love with a man and just had to leave him 

which makes sense and they talk about it but like: she loves him, its hard to picture someone as loving and loyal as Allison just leaving her husband behind forever 

Klaus’s arc just needed more *time*

He is a hella deep character but all of his story lines needed more time to be able to address that complexity 

Show us more of the cult and his ghost powers being used there to trick and amaze and how he has been handling being cut off from the family again

I,,,,,,I understand,,,dave’s storyline

I get the time period

but fuck

that just hurts

I think Klaus not trying to rekindle his relationship with a younger Dave, but trying to protect him from the war was an amazing angle and it needed more time to get the full punch of klaus pulling out all the stops to save him but failing to really land it

Five

My Son

My Trash Boy

I feel like his job as ‘leader of the stop the apocalypse’ movement is good but that was his whole story this time around

He should have gotten more to play off of with the Commission (*cough cough* Carmichael) in his fight to get a briefcase instead of what felt like 10 hours of Five trying to herd his siblings and them just fucking up in someway or another

Five and Older Five was a cool dynamic and im glad they brought him in but again, it just felt like another long storyline attempt that didnt have a purpose as they ended the scene without the case or anything new

Ben’s arc was,,,,,strange

I love Ben and i think his interplay with Klaus is really cool!

But the writers made him fall in love which someone so they could give him a reason to want to possess Klaus which i feel like didnt need to happen

The possession was a good part of the season and could have been taken to some awesome places

It was rough and the ‘consent’ wasnt run entirely well but i think the possession is supposed to be on the line and not quite black and white 

its Ben asking to take control of Klaus! That can be conflict! Thats good stuff right there! Ben is selfish! so is Klaus! thats a cool story to get into between them and see how they try to work it out

Ben wanting to connect with his other siblings after the small taste of being corporeal that he got and pushing Klaus for more and more of that freedom into possession territory would be A+ shit

and Finally: Vanya!

I think most amnesia plots are lazy and just a way to stall progress and reset a character so you can run a very similar plot again but this one seemed to genuinely grow Vanya’s character, even when she remembered 

She definitely has more personality in this season

And while shes quiet, thats just who she is, she isnt as afraid to take space and speak up which is awesome!

And this stays when she gets her memory back which is very good, i dont want to see backsliding for no reason! Give me growth!

I have two complaints about her storyline though

 First Sissy and Harlan

I love both of them and I think they are really cool characters!

Theyre pretty similar to vanya season 1, taking whatever is thrown at them which places Vanya in a more assertive position where she wants to protect them which i loved!

but their ending doesn't sit entirely right with me, just like Raymonds

These characters are in love and they all just leave each other so that the siblings can have a clean, no characters permanently added slate for the next season

it just makes me tired and i really want season 3 to have little to no romance if the only way the show can go about it is to do a love interest per season

My second problem gets its own section because it is the culmination of everything else i have said 

episode ten

Vanya is strong af so any writer that wants big final fight needs to very carefully weigh out how to give each sibling their appropriately sized struggle so they get equal ability to contribute

Instead of doing that though, they did my least favorite trope: Evil Character secretly can do everything the heros can but better and without a problem or ***training***

It meant that they could do whatever they wanted with throwing commission agents at them because Luther, Allison, and Klaus were completely added on just to react to things

Five sort of got to do some fighting (<3 thats my lil geriatric 13 year old) but it was minor, he was mainly there to very obviously turn back time when the big bad shoot out happened

Diego got the most to do out of the siblings and it was suddenly knowing a new ability and doing it a little bit

I dont want a final fight to be trying to woo a bad guy to the good side because theyre too strong to fight 

I want there to be stakes and drama as the siblings show off exactly what the season was all about, what they learned, how they grew together and apart, etc and to take down the big bad which could have very easily been the united front of the Commission instead of 18% Vanya, 15% Harlan, 30% Lila and the Handler, 20% the Swede(s), etc

Lila’s turn to good could have been to help them sneak attack the commission, maybe in their base so as to shrink the fighting to manageable bites for each character?

That would have allowed five’s killing of the board to draw the fighting to a close, a hard decision for him as he is trying to move away from killing but does so to save his family, always to save his family :’( 

Luther could protect his siblings from hits like they showed at the beginning in a way that mirrors how he has been doing that emotionally all season

etc etc etc for all of the siblings so that they each get to show off and have their moment in the spotlight as heros

I loved the season even though i just ranted for like 3 pages, and it has some of the best one liners and line readings ever (”Thats where you come in Five” “Nope. No it isnt”) I just wish that some parts of it had been given some more thought / care so they could really show of the amazing cast, effects, sets, etc without writing in the way

#tua #tua season 2 #tua2 #spoilers #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #ben hargreeves #tua lila #the handler #carmichael #rant #rewrite #i just love them #i want them all to be happy #and if they cant be happy #i at least want the angst to be well written

[latetaektalk]

tag games

tagging : @cosmoguk ​ @jtrbluv @yeojaa @opaljm @sleepyjhs @gyukult @jentwt @cafemiya​ @masterninjacow ​​ @gamerkooks ​ and everyone else that has tagged me

tag game one : fic writers ask game

tagged by : @luvdsc​ thanks cat! this is super fun ✨

Which new trope would you like to try writing?

ex-friends-to-lovers!! in general i love any ex type of tropes!! a heist! au would be fun too

Which trope do you want to write again?

exes! like, i genuinely love that trope so much and feel like theres not enough out there!

Which draft are you most excited to post?

i dont write multiple stories at the same time, so the newest chapter of love to hate you

Is there any new genre you want to explore?

hm i guess fluff? i kinda write angst by default because i think fluff is kinda... boring and not dramatic enough, so i guess i wanna try out fluff!

Do you have a favorite line in any of your drafts up to now?

“Can’t you at least pretend like you think I’m funny?”

“Yeah, that costs extra.”

“And you scolded Jisoo for exploiting me,” Jungkook bit back.

“Well, you said you’re all mine to exploit, didn’t you?” you hummed, scrunching your nose. “You are my boyfriend after all, right?”

Jungkook stared at you, blinked three times before tilted his head to the side and tongued his cheek, defeat.

“Touché.”

Have you decided on any creative goals for 2021?

not really! i just try to write, have fun and improve honestly!

Describe your journey on this blog last year in three words! And three more words for what you hope for 2021!

2020: growth, friendships, fun

2021: growth, friendships, fun (dont really wanna change anything! im having fun!)

tag game two : 10 songs, 10 people

rules : you can tell a lot about a person from the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs. then tag ten people. no skipping!

playlist chosen : love to hate you

kiss me - sixpence none the richer

anything you want - jawny

can i call you tonight? - dayglow

heartbreak in a box - juice

daydreaming - marc wavy

lover boy - phum viphurit

let’s fall in love for tonight - finneas

dontmakemefallinlove - cuco

strangers in a dream - phum viphurit

afterglow - taylor swift

tag game three : interview

rules : answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

tagged by : @lcksndkys thank you so much! these are a ton of fun ✨

name/nickname : linh 

pronouns : she/her

star sign :  scorpio 

height : around 170 cm or 5′7 

time currently : 10:30 pm

when is your birthday : nov 9th

favorite band/groups : exo, red velvet, bts, nct, superm, blackpink, twice

favorite solo artist : taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, harry styles, finneas

song stuck in your head : gone by rose

last movie you watched : get smart, i think

last show you binged : taskmaster

when you created your (main) blog : like april 2019 maybe?  

last thing you googled : how many seconds in a year

other blogs : this and my recs blog

why i chose my url : like late night talk, so i turned the night into taek because of taehyung, baekhyun and taeyong afdfsa

how many people are you following : 305

how many followers do you have : around 1.7k

average hours of sleep : uh not much? idk online class is kinda killing my sleep schedule

lucky number : 7

instruments : piano

dream job : dont know, but something that i enjoy and make good money at?

dream trip : vietnam, china, south korea, japan, england, france, netherlands

favorite food : potatoes, salmon, dim sum 

nationality : chinese 

favorite song : cruel summer by taylor swift,, its literally my most played song of 2020

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in : marvel, atla, we bare bears

tag game four : this or that 

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without socks // fruit or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest // braids or pigtails // dc or marvel // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields // sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweaters // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops // glass or stone // dark or light // photos or paintings // circuses or theatres // reading or writing // dogs or cats // poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

tag game five : ten biases tag

rules : write down your top 10 biases and answer the following questions

seulgi

baekhyun

taehyung

joohyun

jungkook

jennie

chaeyoung

nayeon

mark

jongin

1. between 1 and 4 who would you rather kiss?

uhm cant i just kiss both? i could never choose between the two sadfsd

2. between 2 and 7 who would be your best friend?

chaeyoung because she speaks english but also because i feel like she and i would hit it off better

3. between 5 and 10 who has the better voice?

love jongin and his voice, but yeah jungkook 

4. between 1 and 8 who is the funniest?

ohh thats hard, but i think its nayeon adsfas 

5. between 6 and 9 who would you date?

jennie. if i have the chance to date kim fucking jennie, im dating kim fucking jennie. bye mark im not even sorry

6. between 9 and 10, who would you do a collaboration with?

mark! i feel like working with him would be so funny because he just talks and talks and talks asdfdas

7. between 4 and 8 who is the best dancer?

joohyun! 

8. between 3 and 5 who would you most likely marry?

uhm uhm uhm- i think im gonna go with taehyung? mainly because of yeontan asdadsf

9. between 1 and 7 who would you nurse when they are sick?

seulgi no fucking question asdfsd like sorry, bestie chaeyoung, but seulgi just owns my heart :((

10. between 2 and 3 who has the better smile?

i dont think this is fair at all?? because both have such gorgeous smiles?? im not choosing asdfs

11. between 6 and 8 who would you vacation with?

jennie! feel llike she would pay for everything and kinda spoil me,, also feel like she would want to do the craziest shit

#linh.tagged

[fanficaficionado]

okay, i know i said i would be starting with things i knew and loved. hell, i even had a fic from the fandom im currently ass-deep in all lined up!! but then i procrastinated, and i lost motivation, got distracted by my scheduled post-holiday shutdown, and something else finally kicked my ass into gear. so this blog's first true introduction to the world will not, in fact, be a post where i worship the very ground my favorite fic writers walk upon.

no, today we are talking about Ascent into Madness by cesium_sheep

((spoilers, obviously))

Now im going to preface this by saying that this criticism is subjective and based in my opinion. I did genuinely enjoy this story, and i did not at any point feel the urge to launch myself into the sun with nothing but the pure force of my rage, causing the sun to explode and consume planet earth in a scorching hell-blast and decimating all life on our tiny little space rock, which even some of my favorites are guilty of because in some stories characters just love to waffle about ((especially in my preferred reading material which puts romance at a very significant focus)). This story just isn't for me.

I'm going to explain why, and believe me when i say i am being as gentle as i physically can with this story because it is not objectively offensive to my very being, It's a good read and setting aside the problems i have with it i enjoyed it.

I keep repeating that i don't hate this story because i do not want to be accused of baseless hate, not because of reputation or anything but because being accused of something i know i didn't do sets off the same sensation that i get from rubbing my fingernails on egg cartons, the one of the back of my brain being assaulted by the mayonnaise-coated fingers of satan himself. Damn i should really get to the criticism before this just becomes an in depth description of my very soul's adverse reaction to the cream in queen anne chocolate cherries.

anyways.

The thing about this story is that, to me, it feels.. unfinished. Or at the very least like it wandered off its intended course. It leaves me with a feeling of mild dissatisfaction and the taste of confusion in my mouth. I think this problem is best summarized by the fact that, in the first chapter, it is set up that rose is in some sort of hospital, and that dave thinks she is in the grasp of some delusion, and the second chapter sets up the retroactive explanation for how it got to this point. See, what i expected was to be caught up to that point in the story, reach that point in time again, and then progress from there.

But that first chapter?? With the hospital, the delusions, the brick through the window with the radio attached?? Never brought up again, not even once. It is completely discarded and never even thought about. The story even stops trying to set up that scene after a certain point.

To put it in homestuck terms, because i'm a loser, a time player, and come on we're talking about a homestuck fic here you know i have to do this, it feels like we started a loop and then branched off the alpha timeline so completely we aren't even a part of the metaphorical timeline-tree anymore. It nags at my brain man, it's one of the main things that fuelled my motivation in writing this. It feels lost and wandering and it confuses me in a bone deep sorta way.

The second thing that gets to me is the complete lack of information presented about what, exactly, the fuck is going on. I have no idea how we got from point A to point B, not just because it completely disconnects from point A not even halfway through, but also because there's a lot of plot threads thrown in haphazardly and then never extended upon. There's a mention of jake and john's respective guardians knowing something about the story's big bad and all the mystical bullshit that follows along behind him, but that is never followed up on even a little. No one questions why they know, despite this information being so rare that literally only two families and a single group of aliens seem to have access to it. It just is a thing and then whoops, hand musta slipped because that bad boy is out the window and is facing the combined nonexistent mercy of gravity and this ten story drop.

The main plot has this same problem, in feeling like you get just enough info to keep it going forward. There's a sword in rose's umbrella basket or whatever the hell it's called, and it's implied a future dave put it there for his past self, but do we get confirmation that it was him?? Do we see that loop completed?? No, it is just used as a driving force for rose to try and push the fact that dave's got Timey powers. It feels like i'm being pulled by the hand through this story because it only gives just barely enough information to keep this crazy train rolling and then goes so far as to leave fucking time loops hanging there incomplete which okay i might be getting a little peeved about that but can you blame me?? Can you really blame me at all??

Maybe i am judging the plot too harshly, after all i was forewarned not to read for the plot in the summary because it's pretty slow and wandering. So let's get into something else then, yes?? Let's hop to the relationships.

The relationships, too, fall prey to this complete lack of any meaningful focus on any piece of information ever. I'd swear the writer was allergic if that didn't seem too harsh a description. It's a whole lot of telling without any showing, a cardinal sin in writing. We get a conversation with kanaya that doesn't suffer the disconnect from all things that the rest of the story seems haunted by. It's actually really a neat little conversation and i find it kind of wholesome how kanaya talks about rose and i personally think this interaction to be entirely too short. Then kanaya mentions karkat and apparently there's some of davekat's standard romantic tension happening off-screen because dave starts to get flustered and ponders what that means. And once again a plot thread is thrown to the winds because we never get another whiff of it.

Actually on the topic of davekat, dave just naturally gravitates to karkat and then they're stuck together like glue, so stuck in fact that dave dies for karkat because dave apparently forgets the golden rule of "If you have time to jump in front of someone then you have time to push them out of the way" and then ignores the added bit i spitefully wrote on the ancient stone tablet of Things That Make Sense in neon orange sharpie that says "Especially if you have time to have a discussion about your choices with an ambiguously-dead girl. Pull your thumb out of your ass, dave, nobody has to die here, magic option number three was not the one you picked."

Of course, this is a fanfiction, these are characters i already know. I know how these characters would interact, i know how their relationship develops in-canon and i know that given the chance these fuckers become goddamn inseparable. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it is all tell and no show, we dont see how it gets from "You're one of the only familiar faces in a group of strangers and i am not about to start interacting with new people unless i have to" to "Here let me die heroically for you and then be revived for no explainable reason besides Because The Wizard Of God Says So." I have no reason to be invested in this or even give a half-ounce shit despite it literally becoming something that the climax hinges on. And then rose and kanaya are just inexplicably,, together?? Right at the end?? And while i am happy that the lesbians get to be in love everything is off screen and nothing is ever explained, not even like one time, and god it's just so confusing. I am so confused.

But again, maybe i'm being unfair, once again the very tags of this fic are telling me that the relationships are not the focus and only really tagged so people can filter it out. I suppose i should judge the characters, then.

From what i remember there are sixteen characters, excluding ((who i believe to be, as it is once again not explained or explicitly stated to be)) caliborn at the end, with speaking roles. Five of those characters retain any narrative relevance for more than a nanosecond. A good chunk of the trolls arent even mentioned by name, with eridan and i think sollux being mentioned, and who i think to be sollux speaks when rose and dave are first brought to the trolls' apartment but again, the fog of uncertainty clouds all things and i don't have my handy dandy leafblower on me to airblast that shit out of my way. Of the five characters with any focus on them, two are relegated to the role of supporting character, with karkat joining that number more often than not. That leaves us with dave and rose, who are ultimately as a whole unaffected by their experiences. They do not learn anything, they do not grow or change. Sure rose freaks out about her perception of reality, but that falls flat because it's more tell and no show again. Dave freaks out, as he rightfully should in this situation, but there is no arc. There is no significant change in anything but moving toward the boss fight with the big baddie.

There aren't any particularly interesting interactions between these characters, either, i cannot recall one time in which i laughed, or felt much of anything really. They all fall into a state of Existing while also feeling like they aren't doing a whole lot. It's more noticeable in retrospect but these characters just Do Not feel alive, they seem incredibly flat at times and it's hard to notice while you're reading but looking back it stands out so painfully and it makes me very sad.

If i'm not supposed to read for the plot, and i'm not supposed to read for the relationships, and i can't read for the characters, then what is this story meant to be read for?? The only other thing i can think of is the mystery and sorry pal, but that's a plot, which we have already established doesn't really have a whole lot going for it because while your mystery sure is there it is currently stinking up that rug you shoved half the answers under because those mysteries aren't the ones you want to focus on.

Is it simply meant to pass the time?? Is there no deeper purpose besides keeping yourself entertained as the hours tick by?? Because if so, it at least accomplished that. Despite its faults, it kept my attention for the entire fifty one chapters, and it passed my time.

There are other nitpicks i have, but that's more based around the writing style on a more technical level. The chapters are too short for my personal taste, and there are far too many cliffhangers, these things i will not condemn as the writer gave a good reason for the latter and obviously no writer is obligated to churn out 2,500 words per chapter unless they damn well want to.

Ultimately, this story is neither good nor bad. It is straightforward in that it burns any other plot threads besides the main one on the sacrificial alter of The Writer Does What The Writer Wants, it's a bit too ambiguous and under-explained for my tastes, but there is nothing egregiously offensive in it. It is a story that exists. I wouldn't read it again, but i wouldn't not read it again, and i don't even come close to regretting the time i spent reading it ((outside of the fact that it is currently almost nine am and i haven't slept but that one is my own fault)).

I scrolled passed this story in its beginnings, assuming it would not be particularly mindblowing, and now that i've read it i know that i was entirely correct. Read it if you want, or don't, just don't go in expecting something life changing. I suggest picking out a spot on your schedule where you have nothing to do and will no doubt be bored out of your mind. I sincerely doubt you'll regret it.

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #fanfiction #god what else do i even tag this as. fuckin.. #fanfiction critique #???? #i feel like a child #i am but a little boy lost in the deep dark woods and i have no idea where i am going #there is no map for this shit #also as i write this tag it is now 9:52 am #a whole hour after i finished writing this monstrosity #because editing this stuff to make it somewhat coherent is a task and a half #i ramble worse than any homestuck character and i have proof too. go ahead. challenge me. i dare you. i know im right #i don't know why or how i got to the bit about queen anne chocolate cherries but i think its funny so fuck it its staying in #again if the author of this fic somehow comes across this and doesn't want this shit on my blog or wants to be tagged like let me know plea #i am trying desperately to not step on any toes or hearts here but i was not Raised so if i fuck up please just tell me #i dont wanna be publicly hung via tumblr anon attacks and callout posts that are poorly made at best and wildly inaccurate at worst #anyways thanks for reading i guess i have no idea how to tie this shit off and it Shows lol #hope i did okay #fuck it im not rereading this anymore im sending it out into the world #off you go little timmy suck it up and face the judgement of strangers

[calumcest]

i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) - chapter eight

[ao3]

this is the latest i’ve ever posted a chapter...but technically it still counts. as long as i havent slept its still monday and you dont know whether i live in california or not 

@tirednotflirting​ thank u for entertaining my insane little ideas and improving them this fic is truly nothing without you and @kaleidoscopeminds​ thank you for making my entire fucking week with that helpful little encouragement although i have to say its only monday so don’t get too gassed about that compliment. 

i said on ao3 that half of this was written to a specific song so here i’m going to reveal the other half was written to just be good to green by professor green which honestly? fucking slaps i can’t be lying to you on this fine monday evening/tuesday morning 

They have a few dates in the UK at the end of December, and Calum finds that his week or so away from his band has actually been a week too long. It almost made him forget the warmth that fizzles through his veins with the laughter that comes from Noel making contemptuous comments about Liam and Bonehead and Liam and Tony and Liam again, from Bonehead cheering loudly as Calum and the brothers groan and wince when they hear -and City have conceded yet another goal, this really is poor form- on the radio, from Liam slinging an arm around Calum in a bar in Glasgow and grinning madly at him, eyes lit up from the high of the show and the booze and the drugs, and shouting I fucking love you, Cal, over the sound of the shitty music. It makes Calum grin back, makes him press a sloppy kiss to Liam’s cheek, makes him giddy with the thoughts of how could I ever give this up? that rattle around what little of his mind the coke in his veins has left him. 

It’s good, though, because the week-and-a-half apart is all the breathing space they needed, so once they’ve all recovered from their frankly alarming post-New-Year’s hangovers, the first few weeks of January, which are precious weeks off, are spent cooped up in a rehearsal space, or down the pub, or lying on the floor of Noel’s flat, stoned out of his mind, or wrapped up in a bunch of sky-blue scarves screaming abuse at the away stand at Maine Road. 

Or, looking at houses in London. 

Calum had mentioned it to Liam in a carefully-casual way, biting the inside of his cheek to contain a smile as Liam’s bright blue eyes had lit up and he’d said, a little too enthusiastically, eeyar, y’know Kentish Town’s a right nice area? Bet you could find a place there, too.

“Have you got a place, then?” Calum had asked, and Liam had shaken his head. 

“Not yet,” he’d said. “Got some more viewings next week, though, if you fancy tagging along.” Calum had hummed, and nodded. 

“Might do,” he’d said. “What’re you looking at?” 

“Houses,” Liam had said immediately. “Big fuck-off houses. Mansions." Calum had snorted, and rolled his eyes. Typical. 

“Give us the number of your estate agent,” he’d said. “I’ll ring and see if they’ve got anything for me.” 

So Liam had called Noel and asked for the estate agent’s number, because he’d lost his address book again, and then Calum had rung the estate agent and told them vaguely what he was looking for - a place somewhere around Kentish Town, not too far from a pub if possible - asked to be put on the books, and been posted a few particulars. There had been a few places he’d been interested in, two houses and one flat, and with a little bit of wrangling he’d managed to get himself viewings on the same day that Liam had said he’d be going down, which is how they’ve ended up here.

They’ve seen both the houses that Calum had been considering, neither of which were quite right - one had a deceptively large garden, which Calum simply can’t be bothered to deal with, and the kitchen of the other one needed far too much work doing - and they’re in the second of Liam’s now, ambling around an airy, spacious living room. It’s a nice house, Calum thinks as he runs a finger over the mantelpiece above the fireplace, if a little big for his own taste. Liam, though, seems to be fucking loving it, craning his neck to look at the high ceilings and the sash windows, whatever the fuck those are. Calum had tuned out of whatever the fuck the estate agent’s droning on about approximately ten minutes ago, electing to simply wander around on the other side of the room, lost in his own thoughts. 

It’s going to be fucking weird, he thinks, living in London. Manchester’s home. It’s where he’s been for almost six years, where his life had gone from bland and mundane to the fucking rollercoaster it is now, where he'd settled in and grown into himself. It’s going to be fucking weird being away from it, not going to Maine Road on a Saturday afternoon or a Tuesday evening, not heading down to the pub round the corner from his house for a pint with Liam, not hopping on a bus to cross town to Noel’s flat. Somehow it feels even stranger than when he’d first found out he’d be going on tour, leaving Manchester and sleeping in a different city every night, because he’d still always known where his home was. Sydney hadn’t ever really felt like home, not in the way Manchester does, and it makes Calum’s skin prickle with a tiny bit of fear to think that he’s choosing to uproot himself again, choosing to displace himself entirely this time, on a strange leap of faith chasing his best friends down to London. 

Well, he thinks, glancing over at Liam again, and a warm wave of comfort washes over the prickling under his skin. At least he’ll have a little bit of home here with him. 

Almost like he knows he’s being watched, Liam turns on his heel and catches Calum’s eye.

“What d’you think?” he says, like they’re a couple, or something. Calum shrugs. He likes it well enough, but it’s not his money, is it?

“‘S your money,” he says. 

“Yeah, but what d’you think?” Calum shrugs again, casting his eyes back up at the huge bay windows opening out onto the street. He can imagine Liam here, sprawled out across a big sofa with ten empty bottles in front of him, TV blaring in the background, phone hanging off the hook. He’d probably have those NME covers of himself blown up and hung on the wall over there, maybe above the fireplace, might even get a vinyl of their album and stick that up on the wall behind the sofa- yeah, Calum can imagine Liam here. 

“I like it,” he says. “Think it suits you.” Liam beams at him. 

“Yeah?” he says, and turns back to the estate agent, who’s been hovering a little nervously in the doorway as Liam prodded around the brilliant white living room. “How much was this one, again?” 

“Five hundred and forty six thousand,” the estate agent says politely, and Liam nods thoughtfully, like that isn’t the most enormous sum of money Calum’s ever heard of. 

“D’you want to ring our accountant, maybe?” Calum says pointedly, and Liam shakes his head. 

“Seeing Noel tomorrow,” he says, and Calum hums. Fair enough. Noel’ll probably know the state of Liam’s finances better than their accountant, anyway. "Right, let's have a look at your little bedsit, then, eh?" Calum rolls his eyes, and shoots Liam a playful glare. 

"Get to fuck," he says, and Liam grins, following the estate agent out of the house. 

The flat Calum had liked the look of is literally around the corner from the house Liam’s keen on, and there’s a pub halfway between the two of them that Liam points out and stops outside of, peering in and asking the estate agent how much a pint costs there. 

“Two pound fifty?” he echoes in shock, when the estate agent informs him. “Who the fuck do they think they are?”

“You’re literally a fucking millionaire,” Calum reminds him, and Liam tears his gaze away from the window to glower at him. 

“It’s the fucking principle,” he says, but he slouches away from the pub, albeit not without throwing it one final glare. 

The flat’s on the ground floor of a huge house, one that looks like something Calum might expect Brett Anderson to live in, and he has half a mind to ask whether any other potential rival band members are living in the area before letting Liam loose in it, but decides he’s not going to play the role of Liam’s minder if he doesn’t have to. He, at least, isn’t bound to him by blood and double-helixes like some people, and he’s going to take full advantage of that. 

The estate agent’s saying something about excellent schools in the area as they walk in, and Calum just stares at her back, thinking do I fucking look like I’m about to have kids? I don’t even know how to boil an egg or change a lightbulb - or anything beyond playing bass and taking drugs, really. Liam doesn’t hold back his snort, and Calum throws him a glare over his shoulder but can’t hide the amused smile playing at his lips, which just encourages Liam, makes him say eeyar, Cal, could tuck your little kids Mary and Jane into bed right here, couldn't you? when they get into the smaller bedroom.

The flat’s not too big, but it’s definitely not small, either - two bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a toilet, and a kitchen, with a little patio at the back over the shared garden which, the estate agent assures him, is taken care of by the building managers. It’s exactly the right size, really - big enough that Calum feels like he’d have breathing space, even with the four noisy Mancunians that are inevitably going to be spreading themselves out across his new place like they’d been the ones to spend a few hundred thousand on it, but small enough that it wouldn’t feel empty, wouldn’t make him feel lonely if he were there on his own, and, more importantly, wouldn’t be a fucking ballache to clean. 

He looks down at the particulars he’d had the foresight to bring with him - or rather, that his mum had shoved in his hand before he’d left the house - and scans it for the price again. A hundred and ten thousand, alright. That’s still fucking extortionate, but after hearing the price of the place Liam’s thinking of it feels like a bargain, and he’s already got his mortgage in place thanks to the chivvying from his parents, so he turns to the estate agent when they get to the kitchen and says: “I’d like to make an offer at the asking price.” She brightens, and nods. 

“We have one more viewing on this property this afternoon, but I’ll get in touch with the seller as soon as I get back to the office and let him know,” she says, and Calum smiles politely at her, feeling incredibly out of his depth. Fucking hell, maybe he’s not ready for this. Maybe it’s too early to be living on his own; maybe he should have a transition period, move in with Liam, or something, rent something in Manchester. 

But, like he can sense it, Liam turns to him, and nods decisively. 

"This is your fucking place," he says, like it's obvious. "And I'll be right 'round the corner." 

So it's decided.

Buying a flat, it turns out, though, is a right fucking hassle.

It involves lawyers, which Calum hadn’t expected, and it involves a surveyor, which he’d never even heard of, and it involves his parents insisting on coming down to London to look at the property he’s chosen, like they can’t trust him to make an adult decision. 

(Well, Calum thinks, when Liam casually offers him a bump of coke in the pub the evening before they're due to go down to London. Maybe they’re right.) 

His mum thinks the kitchen is too small for entertaining, and Calum doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the kitchen probably won’t be used for anything other than storing alcohol for a good few years, and his dad thinks the shower could do with replacing, which Calum just nods at - he’s not sure how he’d go about doing that; call a plumber? A builder? He’ll figure something out - but they both nod, satisfied, when Calum’s finished the full tour and turns back to them expectantly. 

“How close did you say Liam would be, again?” his mum asks, too casually, and Calum can’t help but laugh as he leads them out. 

There’s no way it’ll all be done before they have to head back out on tour again, so Calum has to sign a bunch of documents authorising his parents to be informed about what stage of the buying process he's in, but the lawyer Noel had found for him assures him that everything will be done by the end of January when they’re back for a few days for the NME awards and Calum’s birthday. 

About a week and a half before the NME awards, Michael calls. 

“A little birdy tells me you’re buying a place in London,” is how he greets Calum when Calum picks up the phone after hearing the Calum, it’s Michael yelled up at him from the kitchen, and Calum can’t help but huff out a surprised laugh. 

“How the fuck d'you know that?” he says. 

“I’ve got my sources,” Michael says, and Calum can hear that he’s grinning. 

“You’re not spying on me, are you?” Calum says, a little suspiciously. 

"'Course not," Michael says breezily. "Can't speak for Damon, though. Y'know, this whole Blur-Oasis thing is really stepping up a notch with the NME awards around the corner." Calum can’t help but smile himself, grinning down at his lap. 

“Fuck off,” he says, and he feels comfortable saying it, and Michael laughs, and it all makes a strange warmth curl up and make a home for itself in the pit of his stomach. 

“Dave’s looking to move to Kentish Town,” Michael explains. “Went to an estate agent, who said it was surprising to see three members of Oasis and one member of Blur there in the space of a week.” 

“Those bastards,” Calum says evenly. “Thought we were paying for exclusive rights to their services. Pretty sure Liam would've made sure we had a verbal contract, or something; none of those Blur cunts allowed." Michael laughs again, and the sound goes straight to something deep in Calum, something that he reckons might be either his heart or soul but chooses to ignore because he can feel the threat of panic rising in his chest at the very thought of entertaining that idea. 

“What made you decide to move down, then?” Michael says, and Calum shrugs, even though Michael can’t see him. 

“Thought it was about time I moved out,” he says. “And- y’know. London’s sort of the place to be, if you’re in the music scene.” Michael hums. 

“Y’know Kentish Town’s right around the corner from Camden?” he says, a little too nonchalantly. “‘S where that fish and chip shop I took you to was.” Calum swallows. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says. He hesitates, and then adds, in an equally too-casual voice: “You’ll have to show me around the area.” 

“Might do,” Michael says lightly. “For a fee.” 

“I’m going to be skint after buying this place,” Calum tells him. "It'd be an act of charity." 

“Who said the fee was monetary?” Michael says, and Calum’s heart skips a beat. He clears his throat, and goes to say something, but can't. It doesn't matter, though, because Michael’s carrying on, a little hastily, like he’s picked up on Calum’s silence. “You could nick me a few of Noel’s songs. Damon’s really struggling for lyrics. Came into the rehearsal room yesterday after being stuck in traffic with a song that goes who maddest one on the M1?” He pauses, and then says: “It’s pretty good, though.” Calum can’t help but snort at that, heart beating a little too fast, even though Michael’s glossed over the awkward moment. Or maybe papered over it; Calum's never been great at telling the difference.

“I’m not looking to get murdered,” he says, and Michael sighs dramatically. “Plus, it’s not like Noel’s lyrics are any better.” 

“True,” Michael muses. “What’s that one about, fucking, Mr Soft?” Calum huffs out a laugh at that, leaning back on his bed. 

“Don’t remember a song about fucking Mr Soft,” he says, and Michael tuts, but Calum can hear the note of amusement in it. 

“Should’ve been that instead,” Michael says flippantly. “I reckon it would’ve been an improvement.” 

“Bit rich, coming from someone who’s got a song that half-consists of the word ‘parklife’,” Calum retorts, and Michael makes a noise of indignance. 

“That’s a fucking brilliant tune,” he says, and Calum can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Damon barely even sings on it,” Calum says. 

“Shouldn’t do, either, for what we had to pay Phil Daniels,” Michael remarks. “Damon’s obsessed with getting these fucking features on. D’you know we’ve got Ken Livingstone lined up for our next album?” Calum can’t help but laugh out loud at that, bright and surprised. 

“Ken Livingstone?” he echoes. “Like, Ken Livingstone?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says, and he sounds exasperated, but fond. “I don’t know what the fuck is going through Damon’s head most of the time, but it’s easier to just give him a pat on the head and go aww, Damon, that's a lovely idea, what a clever boy you are than to try and understand him. Don’t have the energy for that. And I’m still making money, aren’t I?” 

“If your house is anything to go by,” Calum says. 

“Hey,” Michael says, mock-serious. “Let’s not talk about my house. Nice flat you’re buying.” Calum has to concede there, with a grin. He’s got a point. 

“Does Damon call all the shots, then?” he asks, a little curious. He doesn’t actually know much about Blur’s dynamic - they’re nowhere near as transparent as Oasis are, and all he really knows is what he’s heard from Michael, which seems to be that they’re decent blokes and good friends, and what he’s picked up from the Oasis camp, which seems to be that they’re all Tories and that the jury’s still out on whether they’re the antichrist or whether that’s Liam. 

“What’s this, trying to infiltrate us?” Michael asks, but Calum can hear that he’s smiling. “He tries, but Graham won’t let him. We sort of step back and let their do their thing most of the time. Alex gets involved, sometimes, but I think Graham and Damon like the fighting.” Calum hums, not really sure what to say to that, besides sounds like Noel and Liam.

“You’d like Damon, I think,” Michael says, after a moment of silence. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Well, y’know. If your insane bandmates would let you.” 

“Yeah, well.” Calum shrugs, a little awkwardly, and casts his eyes back down at his lap, picking at his pyjama bottoms. Michael doesn’t say anything to that for a minute, just breathes down the phone line and lets the two of them simmer in a slightly-uncomfortable silence, and then he sighs. 

“I should go,” he says. Don’t, Calum wants to say, but he doesn’t have a good enough reason to keep Michael on the line. Michael pauses, like maybe he’d been waiting for Calum to ask him not to go, and then sighs again. “Alright, well. I’ll see you at the NME awards, I guess.” Calum’s stomach twists. Shit. He’d forgotten Blur were going to be there. 

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Yeah, we’ll be there. Don’t think you’ll be able to miss us, the number of awards we’ve been nominated for.” Michael laughs at that, and it’s soft, but it’s a little wistful. Maybe Calum should have asked him to stay. Maybe he didn’t need a good enough reason. Maybe just wanting him to would have been reason enough. It’s too late now, though, because Michael’s saying I don’t think anyone within a six mile radius of Liam can miss him, and Calum huffs out another laugh, but the smile accompanying it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I’ll see you then,” he says, and then hesitates, and adds: “I mean-”

“I know,” Michael says quickly, and Calum’s grateful for it. “I promise not to even look in your direction all night.” Calum snorts. 

“What’re you going to do when we’re up on stage collecting all the awards we’ve beaten you to?" 

“Go to the loo,” Michael says immediately, and this time, the smile does reach Calum’s eyes. 

“You’ll be up and down like a fucking yo-yo,” Calum says. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, given the number of awards we’re up for,” Michael says, and it’s smooth and cocky, confident without being arrogant, and it sends something electric charging through Calum, knocking the breath out of his lungs and making his vision blur a little around the edges for a moment. What the fuck is that? 

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see,” Calum manages to get out, proud of and relieved at how light and even his voice sounds. 

“Guess we will.” Michael’s voice is light and amused, but that searing edge of confidence is still there, and Calum has to swallow, mouth suddenly dry. “I’ll see you there.” 

“You will.” He hears Michael breathing for a moment longer, and then there’s a click, and he’s gone, leaving Calum sitting in bed, staring at the wall opposite him, mind finally kicking into gear and helpfully offering him an explanation for the way his heart’s racing in his chest and his breath coming out a little shorter and shallower than before. 

Arousal. 

 -------

 They have a show in Hollywood on the twenty-second, which means Noel ramps up rehearsals for the week before they go, probably mostly because he just loves to wield power over them all. Calum doesn’t really mind, though, enjoys the way that Liam and Noel snipe at each other, the way Bonehead grumbles about needing to re-tune his guitar again because he can’t be bothered to restring it, the way that they all roll their eyes at Tony when he fucks up the rhythm for Supersonic again in the first few bars. 

Well, actually, he’s not enjoying that so much. 

See, he knows Tony’s not the best drummer, the same way he knows that Noel’s far from the best guitarist and he’s not the best bassist. They’re all getting there, though - Calum can hear how much better he sounds than even half a year ago - except for Tony. Tony’s not got any better, doesn’t even seem to care enough to try, content to get by with what he’s got away with doing so far and then go down to the pub for a pint or two and ring his missus when he gets back to the hotel, but it’s not good enough anymore. It might have worked when they were fighting tooth and nail to get on a bill, but now, when they’re selling out bigger and bigger venues, when they’re on a six-album contract and they’re in the running to be the biggest fucking band in Britain, it’s not enough. 

The tension’s been mounting for a while, the exasperated looks Noel throws in Tony’s direction turning to scornful, to ugly, twisted lips and dark, furrowed brows, but so far, no one’s said anything. Liam might snipe at him a little more, might seek him out to get out his pent-up anger when Noel’s tired of fighting with him, and Noel might snap at him faster, might say Jesus, you’re fucking incompetent with absolutely no shred of fond exasperation, but no one’s said anything. It’s only a matter of time, though, Calum thinks, as he watches Tony falter on the beat again and Noel turn around, fingers stilling on the strings, shoot him a furious look and say d’you feel up to doing your fucking job today, or what? Should I do it myself? They’re going to have to address it at some point. 

Not now, though. Now, they’re flying to America again, and Calum’s trying to get Liam to go to sleep on the flight instead of demanding peanuts from the poor air hostesses every two minutes, and Noel’s turning around in his seat and saying stop kicking me, you dick to Bonehead, who just shrugs and kicks harder, and Tony’s pretending to nap across the aisle. Everything’s in its strange, fragile balance, and none of them want to be the first to upset it. 

The show in Hollywood goes well enough - which is measured by the fact that Noel only had ten minutes of criticisms to hand out, rather than the usual twenty - and then they’re flying back to the UK, drugged-up and exhausted from jumping back and forth across timezones, being ushered into a hotel in London and told you’ve got a day off, and the NME awards in the evening. That’s a human evening, Bonehead, not fucking midnight. Calum’s sharing with Liam that day - or is it night, he can’t fucking tell anymore - and they just fall right into bed and sleep for sixteen hours, only waking up at five in the afternoon when someone hammers on their door and shouts Noel says to wake you up, and to tell you that you’re lazy cunts. Liam rolls over, and blinks blearily at Calum. 

“Time’s it?” he mumbles, and Calum squints at the bright red numbers on the alarm clock balanced precariously on the edge of his bedside table. 

“Five,” he says. Liam groans, and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. 

“Fucking Noel,” he says. “Don’t even have to leave for another hour. Prick just wants to torture me.” 

“Probably,” Calum agrees, because that sounds like Noel. Liam groans again, rubs at his eyes, and then pushes himself up on his elbows, looking back over at Calum. 

“Did we raid the minibar last night?” he asks, and Calum thinks for a moment, and then shakes his head. Liam smiles, satisfied, and swings his legs out of bed, stretching and yawning as he gets to his feet. 

“Perfect,” he says, heading straight for the little fridge under the desk. “Noel can pay for these, then.” Calum just rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning when Liam winks at him over his shoulder and tosses him a little bottle of vodka. 

They drink the entire minibar between them, and by the time they’re heading out for the car that’s waiting to pick them up, Calum’s laughing at everything Liam’s saying, skin pleasantly warm and tingling, which is just encouraging Liam to say stupider and stupider things and gesticulate more and more wildly. Usually, Noel would nip that right in the bud, but he’s a little pink-cheeked himself, just laughs along at Liam’s antics and the weird little stories he tells on the journey to the venue. 

It’s fucking packed when they get there, and Calum’s almost blinded when a few cameras go off in his face, and he barely has time to think brilliant, bet I look fucking great in those before someone’s tugging on his sleeve and pulling him up the steps and inside. He’s still blinking away the blue-green-purple behind his eyes as he stumbles into the room, gets ushered to a table with the rest of them, and twists around in his chair, trying to drink in the rest of the room. 

It’s fucking packed, and it’s full of people Calum recognises from festivals and from magazines and newspapers - Elastica, Radiohead, Suede, Pulp - but he’s only really looking for one band. He’s trying to do it as subtly as possible, though, knows he doesn’t have a lot of time to look before Noel notices and gets shirty about it, but can’t find them anywhere in the crowd of people as people get up and sit down and lean around their table to talk to someone at another table. He turns back to his own band, tuning into the conversation that’s going on about whether or not they’d actually been nominated for Best Single; he'll just look for Michael the next time the Gallaghers have gone to take whatever it is they're on tonight.

There’s drink on the table, and there’s drugs in Noel and Liam’s pockets, and by the time the ceremony’s begun they’re all looking very fucking merry and pleased with themselves. The brothers actually manage to behave themselves, though, sitting back quietly as the first award - Best LP - is introduced. 

Of fucking course, it’s Blur. 

They watch as Blur traipse to the stage to a round of polite applause, looking very relaxed and pleased with themselves, coming from somewhere against the wall to the far left of the Oasis table, and Calum feels his heart start to speed up as he spots Michael at the back of the group, saying something to Graham with a smile on his face that makes Graham laugh too as they follow in Damon, Dave and Alex’s wake. 

Damon leans into the microphone, saying something about thank you to the fans, blah blah blah, but Calum’s just staring at Michael, willing him to catch his eye. Michael’s scanning the crowd in a way that Calum could mistake for idle if he didn’t see the slight narrowing of his eyes, the slight downturn of his lips. He’s looking at the back, then at the left, then somewhere around the middle, and then finally his eyes fall on Calum’s table, and his lips curve upwards ever-so-slightly. 

And then, like Noel and Liam aren’t sat right fucking there, he winks. 

Calum knows what he’s saying. First award goes to me, eh? Fucking cocky little shit, he thinks, through the haze of alcohol, but it makes his next intake of breath a little sharper all the same. 

“Pricks,” Liam says derisively, reaching for another beer. Calum hums his agreement, but his eyes don’t leave Michael, who’s now trying to suppress a fully-fledged smile. Calum shakes his head, almost imperceptibly, and reaches for his own beer, just for something to put between himself and Michael. 

Damon finishes his speech, thank you to their management, blah blah blah, and then they’re heading back off the stage, and Michael breaks his eye contact with Calum easily, like it’s nothing, tossing another nonchalant comment that Calum can’t make out in Damon’s direction. It sort of stings, seeing how easily Michael can act like it's nothing, but it’s also an odd relief, because Calum’s all too aware of the two fuckers he’s sat between. 

He’s downed another beer by the time the next award’s being announced - Best Single - and it looks like they have indeed been nominated for it, because they win it. 

“Fucking get in,” Liam crows, getting to his feet, and Noel doesn’t even have it in him to do anything but cuff him upside the head fondly as they head for the stage. 

“None of you cunts deserve this,” he says, as they jog up the steps. “Least of all you.” He directs the last part at Tony, but unlike the first half of his sentence, it’s got an edge of venom to it, a bit of Noel’s cruel streak leaking through. Calum shoots Noel a sharp look as they head for the podium, because tonight is not the fucking night, and shakes his head. 

“Don’t be a cunt,” he says, and Noel just shrugs, turning away from him to accept their award and then stepping over to lean into the microphone. Liam’s there too, quick as a fucking flash, not willing to let Noel have any more than about forty percent of the limelight, and Calum just rolls his eyes and steps back, deciding to just let the fucking shitshow happen. He’s got other things to think about, anyway - Blur had come from his left when he’d been sat down, so they should be sat somewhere on what’s now his right, and he frowns as he scans the room, squinting into the bright stage lights as he tries to make out the all-too familiar shape of Michael sat at a table.

He actually spots Damon before he spots Michael, and he feels an odd stab of excited anticipation make his heart lurch as his eyes slide around the table, like he’s a fucking fifteen year old with a crush again. There’s Graham, Dave, some woman he doesn’t know, Alex- 

Luke.

Fucking hell. 

He’d completely forgotten, somehow, that Luke - and Ashton, who’s sat right next to him - were going to be here. It makes his stomach tighten, seeing the two of them again in this unfamiliar context, makes him blink like they’re going to fucking disappear if he tries hard enough. Luke’s hair is long, now, curly like it always used to be after they’d been swimming at Bondi Beach, and he’s broad as fuck, fills out the shirt he’s wearing in a way that would probably make Calum’s mouth water if it were anyone other than Luke. Ashton looks older, too, has his sleeves rolled up far enough to expose very muscled arms, hair dyed black and one slightly-curled strand falling into his eyes. He’s got his hands in front of him, clasped together and elbows on the table, and Luke’s leaning back in his seat, one arm around the back of Ashton’s chair, leaning into him a little. They look the same, and they look so different.

Calum doesn’t even realise Liam and Noel are done with their antics until Bonehead shoves at him with his shoulder and inclines his head with a frown, signalling get off the fucking stage, you prat. It only just occurs to his alcohol-addled mind to flick a quick glance over at Michael, who’s grinning up at him easily, even looking a little proud, and it makes Calum’s already-leaden stomach flip somehow, in a way that he thinks might be pleasant but isn’t entirely sure about. 

He follows the rest of his band off the stage in a daze, almost trips over his own feet at least four times on his way back to the table, drawing enough attention to himself that Liam throws him a frown as they sit down, concern for Calum cutting through all the drink and drugs in his veins. 

“What’s up with you?” he asks, managing to make it sound hostile somehow. Calum blinks at him. 

He can say it, can’t he? It’s not like they’ve got any shit with Luke and Ashton. Well, Noel probably will on principle, but anyone who isn’t the most vindictive person on the planet shouldn’t have. 

“I, uh,” he says, and clears his throat as he realises Noel’s tuned into the conversation too, even though he’s still facing the stage, sitting far too still as he listens to what Calum has to say. “I saw the Blur table. Michael’s brought two of my best mates from Sydney.” 

“Oh,” Liam says, sounding a little disappointed, like he’d been expecting something juicier than that. “D’you wanna go and say hi?” That gets Noel to turn around, to shoot Liam a furious glare. 

“Are you insane?” he demands. 

“What?” Liam says defensively. “They’re his mates.” 

“They’re with Michael.”

“So? They’re still Calum’s mates.” 

“They’re with Blur.” Liam scoffs. 

“Don’t be so fucking unreasonable,” he says, raising his voice a little to be heard over the applause as the next award is announced - Calum has no idea what it is, but Blur are receiving it again. Noel laughs incredulously, and his eyes are narrowed and cold, and Calum thinks for fuck’s sake, not again. 

“I’m being fucking unreasonable?” Noel says. 

“Yeah, you fucking are,” Liam says stubbornly. “What the fuck have they done? They’re not in Blur, are they?” 

“They’re-” Noel cuts himself off, throwing his hands up in the air, like the fact that Liam’s not on his side on this is beyond him. Liam throws him one last look, and then turns back to Calum. 

“D’you want to say hi?” he asks again, and Calum hesitates. He’s not really sure. 

“Jesus, why don’t you ask him if he wants to fuck Mike again too, while he’s at it?” Noel says scornfully, which makes Liam’s eyes flash with anger for a moment, and he rounds on Noel again. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he says. “Just fucking leave it.” 

“Leave it?” Noel echoes. “Leave-” 

“Stop it," Liam says, something uncharacteristically firm and serious to his tone. "You’re making yourself too obvious.” That makes Noel’s mouth snap shut, but his jaw muscles continue to work furiously as he glowers at Liam, something so irate in his expression that Calum can’t even read it. He doesn’t want to, anyway, not when he sees the defiant set of Liam’s jaw and realises they’re having one of those brotherly we know something you don’t know moments, sees the silent conversation occurring between the two of them and just waits it out, waits for one of them to snap. It’s Noel this time, folding his arms and sitting back in his chair, still glaring at Liam, but Liam seems to know what he means by that, because he throws Noel one final look that looks almost like those I’m disappointed in you looks that Noel so often sends Liam, and turns back to Calum again. 

“Let’s go over,” he says. 

“Not now,” Noel says sternly. Nothing to do with Blur, though; this is Noel’s business voice. “We’re in the middle of a fucking awards ceremony.” 

“So?” Liam says, with a carefree shrug. 

“No.” Liam looks like he wants to argue for a moment, but Noel holds his gaze, and eventually Liam sighs and slumps back in his seat. 

“Fine,” he says sullenly, but before Noel has time to say something cutting in response, everyone around them is jumping to their feet and cheering. 

“What?” Calum says to Bonehead, who throws him a funny look. 

“Best new band,” he says, and Calum’s heart clenches, but in a way that he definitely likes. 

Fucking hell, he thinks, as he gets to his feet and grins broadly at Noel, who grins back, the previous conversation completely forgotten. Well, that makes him two-for-two with Michael, doesn't it?

 -------

 Oasis end up winning three awards, eclipsed only by Blur, who take home five. Liam claims that they win four, though, because Alan wins the Godlike Genius award, and he’s basically Oasis, innit? Oh, fuck off, Noel, you’re not Oasis. If anything, right, I’m Oasis, ‘cause- and then Calum tunes out. 

Someone mentions something about an afterparty, because of course they do, and everyone agrees enthusiastically. They’re all getting to their feet when Liam turns to Calum with a look of surprise on his face, like he’s just remembered something. 

“Your mates,” he says, and Calum swallows. His mates. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Uh- yeah. I might-” he cuts himself off, but Liam gets it, and nods. 

“Want me to come over with you?” he says, and Calum hesitates. No, because I’m not sure I can handle the guilt of being around you and Michael at the same time is thrown up at him by his mind, but his heart says yes, please. I’m scared. I need you there. 

“Can you refrain from calling them all cunts for five minutes?” Calum says, because he can’t say please, and Liam grins, a sparkle in his eyes. 

“Guess we’ll find out,” he says cheerily, and skirts around the edge of the table, making a beeline for the table Blur are gathered around on the other side of the room, lingering and laughing at something Michael’s saying with big, grand hand gestures. He can feel Noel’s eyes on the two of them as he jogs to catch up with Liam, who strides like a fucking maniac despite the fact Calum’s got a good three or four inches on him, but he doesn’t say or do anything. That’s almost more dangerous, though, Calum thinks, because Noel never forgets, just files the information away to act upon later. He doesn’t have time to worry about it, though, because the speed with which Liam’s powering towards the table means they’re there before Calum’s really realised they’ve crossed the room, the band and the other assorted people that Calum doesn’t know blinking at them curiously. Well, blinking at Liam curiously, Calum thinks, stomach bottoming out. They all know about him and Michael talking again, don’t they? Do they know that Liam doesn’t know? Do Calum’s fucking rivals know how Calum’s betraying his own best friend? 

“Who’re you?” Liam says to Luke and Ashton, ever the fucking diplomat. “Cal says you’re his mates from Sydney.” The two of them blink at Liam, clearly not entirely sure what to make of him or the situation, until Ashton clears his throat. 

“Uh, yeah,” he says, and Calum’s next exhale comes out a little shaky at the sound of his voice. It’s so fucking familiar, has the same intonation and confidence it’s always had, and the same thick Australian accent that both he and Michael have lost along the way.  

“I’m Liam,” Liam says, completely oblivious to the entire group of people staring at him like he’s absolutely insane. Well, Calum supposes, he must be used to that. Pretty much everyone stares at Liam like he’s insane, most of the time. 

“Oh,” Ashton says, and shoots Michael a look, like he’s not sure what to do. “I mean. We know.” He hesitates, and then adds: “We really like your album.” Liam grins. 

“‘Course you do,” he says breezily. “It’s fucking brilliant.” 

“We’ll see you at the party, Mike, yeah?” Damon says, and throws Michael a pointed look. Michael just shrugs, and Damon looks at the rest of the table, who all kick themselves into gear and start slowly ambling away from the table as they shrug their coats on, mumbling to each other too quietly for Calum to hear. Damon’s the last to go, tossing Liam an easy smile, a glint in his eyes.

“Nice to see you again,” he says. 

“Fuck off,” Liam says, not even bothering to look away from Ashton, and Damon’s lips just twitch in an amused smile as he catches Michael’s eye, who rolls his eyes at him and shoos him away. He goes, though, turns on his heel and jogs to catch up with Graham, who’s been loitering a few tables away, seemingly waiting for him, and Liam leans forwards, rests his elbows on the vacant seat in front of him and puts his chin in his hands. 

“Who’re you, then?” he asks again. 

“I’m Ashton,” Ashton says. 

“I’m Luke,” Luke says, and his voice is deeper than Calum remembers. 

“Right,” Liam says, and then glances at Michael. “Are you gonna fuck off, or what?” 

“Me?” Michael says. “No, I’m alright.” Liam narrows his eyes at him, and Calum watches a flash of amusement cross Michael’s face before he schools his features into something convincingly solemn again. 

“Hey, Cal,” Ashton says, before Liam has the chance to tell Michael to get to fuck, or whatever, and Calum tears his gaze away from Michael to meet Ashton’s eyes. 

“Hi,” Calum says, throat suddenly dry. He clears his throat, and tries again. “How’re you?” Ashton blinks at him. 

“Good,” he says, “we’re good, yeah.” He glances at Luke, as if to anchor himself, and it makes Calum’s heart ache, makes memories of Luke doing the same to Ashton five, six, seven years ago bubble up in his mind. 

“Michael says you’re a teacher now,” Calum says, just for something to say, wanting to cry at the awkwardness of the atmosphere. It seems to be the right thing to say, though, because it makes Ashton’s lips hitch up in a smile, something warm reaching his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says. “Yeah, I teach RE.” Calum smiles at that, and he can’t help but glance over at Michael, thinking about their conversation a few weeks ago. Michael’s looking at him too, and their eyes lock for a split second, held together by a private memory, before Calum breaks it to look over at Ashton again. 

“Could’ve guessed that,” he says, and Ashton’s smile turns into a grin, something like relief tingeing it, like he hadn’t been quite sure how Calum was going to react to him. It emboldens Calum to add: “You and your fucking philosophy.” 

“Hey,” Ashton protests, but he’s still smiling. “Not all of us are cut out to be rockstars.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Michael says, and Calum remembers. 

“Oh, hey, d’you still play drums?” he asks, and Ashton wrinkles his nose. 

“‘Course he does,” Michael says. 

“Well, y’know-” Ashton starts cagily, but Michael interrupts him with a scoff.

“Oh, shut up,” he says in exasperation, rolling his eyes, but it’s utterly fond. “He’s the fucking man of the scene in Sydney.” 

“You’re in a band?” Trust Liam to be suddenly interested. 

“I- well, I’m in a few-” 

“You’re in a few?” Liam frowns, and pauses, before asking: “Are you really fucking good, or really fucking shite?” 

“Really fucking good,” Michael puts in, and Liam shoots him a glare. 

“Did I ask you?” He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, though, just rounds on Luke, and asks, blunt as fucking anything: “D’you talk?” Luke’s eyes widen, and he looks so much like that seventeen-year-old that Calum had left behind that it makes Calum’s head spin for a moment. 

“Don’t be a cunt,” Calum tells Liam sharply, who turns enough to throw Calum a look over his shoulder. 

“Just asking a fucking question,” he says, but it’s grumpy, which means he’s going to relent. 

“Michael says you’re a pilot,” Calum says, to try and ease the tension, and Luke’s eyes flit to him. 

“Yeah,” he says. 

“That’s pretty cool,” Calum says, and Luke hesitates, and then smiles. 

“Coming from you,” he says, and Calum grins back. 

“International rockstar’s a pretty good job,” he agrees, and Luke’s smile turns into a full-blown grin too. 

“Is that what you write down on visas?” he says, and Calum snorts. 

“I don’t, but this prick does,” he says, nodding at Liam, who just smiles inanely. 

“Not gonna lie to the authorities, am I?” he says, and Luke, Ashton and Michael all laugh, and it’s real. It’s not forced, it’s not polite, it’s real and amused and warm, and Calum thinks he might have ascended to another fucking plane of existence, seeing his two best friends from Sydney, his best friend now, and his- well, whatever the fuck Michael is, all getting on, if only for a moment. 

It hurts, though, because he thinks this is what it could be. This is what I could have, if Noel and Liam weren’t such fucking cunts. 

“Right, are you done?” Liam says, straightening up again. “We’ve got drugs to take.” Michael rolls his eyes, and Luke and Ashton look a little startled, and Calum thinks oh, fucking hell, but he sighs, and steps back. 

“We’re in the UK ‘til Saturday,” Ashton says. “We, uh. It’d be nice to see you. If you have time?” Calum blinks at him. Fucking hell, he doesn’t know his own schedule; he just jumps when Noel tells him to. 

“I, uh,” he says, but Liam speaks for him. 

“Could do Friday,” he says. “If you can come to Manchester.” Ashton glances at Luke, who shrugs. 

“I mean- yeah, sure,” he says, and Liam nods, satisfied. 

“Seven at the Vic on Burnage Road,” he says. 

“Is this an open invitation?” Michael asks mildly, and Liam glares at him. 

“Not to you,” he snaps, and puts his hands in his pockets. “Right, well. Nice to meet you. Me and Calum’ve got toilet lids to be getting to know. See you Friday.” Calum just blinks, not entirely sure what’s just happened, watching as Liam slopes away. 

“Uh,” he says intelligently. “Sorry about him.” 

“He’s…” Luke trails off, and Calum can’t help but huff out a laugh. 

“Yeah, he is,” he says, but he can’t hide the fondness and pride in his voice. “I- sorry, I really should- Noel’s-” 

“No, no, don’t worry,” Ashton says. “We’ll see you on Friday.” Luke’s still watching Liam, who’s now hovering in the door and throwing Calum an impatient glance, apprehension etched on his features.

“Will he be there?” he asks.

“I- uh. Seems like it.” Which is fucking insane. 

“Right.” Luke doesn’t sound too happy about that, but Ashton throws him a stern look, and he just sighs and then smiles at Calum. “See you on Friday, then.” 

“See you,” Calum echoes, and then throws Michael a glance. “I’ll-” 

“Yeah,” Michael says quickly, so Calum won’t have to say it. “Don’t worry. I know.” He smiles, and he means it, and Calum wants to cry. He doesn’t deserve Michael. 

He turns on his heel and jogs to the door, still trying to process what the fuck’s just happened. It must be written all over his face, because Liam frowns at him when he gets to the door, and then squares himself, looking a little hostile.

“What?” Liam says defensively,. “They’re your mates, aren’t they?” 

“Well, yeah, but-” 

“And they’re not in Blur.” Calum hesitates. 

“You don’t have to,” he says, and Liam shrugs. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says easily, pushing open the door to the venue. There are no photographers outside, now, just a few wannabe groupies hanging around and a couple of cars still waiting to ferry people from the venue to their hotels or the afterparty. It’s one of those that Liam opens the door to, clambers into without holding the door open, meaning it almost shuts on Calum as he follows, just about managing to get his leg in without the door slamming on it. “But they were important to you, weren’t they?” 

“Well- I mean, yeah, but-”

“That’s that, then.” He blinks steadfastly out of the window as Calum stares at him for a moment, drunk brain trying to understand what’s going on, what Liam's doing for him, and why he's doing it.

God, he thinks, as the familiar guilt settles deep in his veins again. He doesn’t deserve Michael, and he doesn’t deserve Liam, and neither of them deserve what Calum's doing to them.

taglist: @callmeboatboy @sadistmichael @clumsyclifford @angel-cal @tirednotflirting @cthofficial @tigerteeff @haikucal @queer-5sos @i-am-wierd-always @stupidfuckimgspam @bloodyoathcal @pixiegrl @pxrxmoore @currentlyupcalsass @clumthood @another-lonely-heart @calumscalm @casually-fallen

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#malum #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #5sos fanfiction #5sos slash #i have to dip because i have unfortunately got important business to attend to hpefully before 3am #but i will be back tomrorow #im just all over the place at the moment #so many thigns are happening in my life but not to me #very stressful times all round #LUCKILY i have noels EXCELLENT music to get me through these trying times #and i also have sams burgeoning love for britpop #which gets me through pretty much everything #love u sam

[shadedrose01]

Sick Boy

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Jax gets the stomach flu. Peter and Harley take care of him.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 9, sick days, Sickness, stomach flu, Vomiting, Jax is back!!, Jax is Peter and Harleys son, parenting, Peter Parker and Harley Keener are good dads, Established Relationship, Husbands, Love, Family, Family Fluff

Day nine of Febufluff: "Sick Day"!

WARNING: This story contains sickness, and talking about vomiting. There is a scene where Jax throws up. It isn't super graphic, but it's there, so if you dont like vomiting, don't read! Be safe, be comfortable, know your limits. Love y'all <3

--

Peter sat in a meeting when he got the call. He was tapping his pen against his paper absentmindedly, barely listening to the businessman drone on endlessly about stocks and numbers and whatever else he was saying, before his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, hard enough to be felt but not loud enough to disrupt the meeting, thankfully.

It immediately sets Peter on alert though, because his phone was put on to Do Not Disturb, and only three things can push a call through when that's on: Harleys phone, Karen in case of severe emergency... and Jax's phone. None of those options sounded very good, so Peter pulls out the device quickly, making sure to keep it under the desk, still trying to keep his disturbance to a minimum.

Jax's school. Shit. Not the worst thing possible, but still not a good sign. Peter's mind swirls with what could've happened as he motions to one of his coworkers that he's stepping out, picking up the call as soon as he's out the door. Did he get hurt? It wouldn't surprise Peter, Jax could be clumsy. Or he could've gotten into a fight, but that doesnt seem like his Jaxy. Maybe he's being bullied, maybe-

"Hi, is this Peter Parker-Keener?" The callers tone is sickly sweet, and it's already grating on Peter's frayed nerves.

"Yes, it is. Is Jax okay?" He blurts out before he can stop himself, knowing that hes sounding like the stereotypical helicopter parent, constantly worried, but he doesn't care.

The women laughs lightly under her breath, barely noticable to the normal ear but very noticable to Peter, who grits his teeth to stop himself from snapping at the poor woman. She sobers up pretty quickly as she responds, voice softening, "Jax appears to have the stomach flu. Would you be able to come pick him up, Mr. Parker-Keener?"

Peter's stomach drops at the news, his heart aching. Oh, his poor baby. He looks back towards the room he just left, and knows the meeting is important, knows he shouldn't leave unless it's an emergency, but- but family comes first. Always. He nods unconsciously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah of course, I'll be there as soon as possible."

He hangs up the phone and sighs loudly, rubbing at his forehead as a headache starts to form, a pressure building behind his eyes. He types out a quick message to his coworker and to Harley, updating them both on the situation before making his way to his car.

As soon as he shuts the car door, and the car starts up, a call is already lighting up his screen. He automatically puts it through, pulling out of the garage and speeding towards the school.

"Is he okay?" His husband's voice is coated with concern, not even bother with a hello as he gets straight to the point, showing Peter just how worried he truly is. Peter wants to laugh at their overprotectiveness (it's their first and only child, give them a break), but now is definitely not the time.

"I'm not sure, I'm on my way to pick him up now." Peter answers honestly, looking over his shoulder before changing lanes, counting down the minutes until he gets there.

"Do you want me to come too?" He can hear shuffling on the other side, as if Harley was already packing his things.

Peter sighs, fianlly seeing the brick school in the distance. "No, I'm here now. Maybe meet us back home?" He adds on the last part, knowing Harley won't be able to go back to work now.

"Yeah," Harleys voice is still worried, but theres a tinge of relief there now, knowing he's going to be able to help. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you there. Love you."

Peter echoes it back just as he parks, the call ending just as he shuts the car off, exiting it just as quickly as he entered.

He rushes to the main desk, seeing the secretary who Peter guesses is the same person that called him earlier. "Hi, I'm here for Jax Parker-Keener?"

The woman looks up, and smiles a plastic smile that doesnt reach her eyes. "Of course, I just need you to sign him out real quick," Peter fills out the form quickly, antsy to get to his boy, and hands it back to her, "and the nurses office is just down the hallway, first door to the left."

"Thank you," he pushes out before speed walking to the specified door, opening it quickly. His nose scrunches up as the acidic smell of vomit floods his sense, and he swallows the urge to gag, his heart breaking when his eyes land on the little lump curled up on the couch.

Jax has his arms wrapped around his stomach, and his face is all crunched up, eyes closed and beads of sweat on his brow. Hes groaning quietly, squirming slightly, and there's a bucket placed right next to his face that looks likes it already been used. He looks smaller than he has in months, than he has in years.

"Oh baby," Jax blinks his eyes open as soon as the words are out of his mouth, the forest green hazy, barely focusing as he squints at Peter.

"Daddy?"

As soon as Peter hears that croak of a voice, hes on the move, kneeling down in front of his baby and brushing the hair off of his forehead. "Yeah, it's me, bug."

"I don't feel good." He moans, starting to squirm again, and Peter's heart is shattered, stomped into dust, longing to take away all of his son's pain.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're gonna go home now, okay?"

The five year old blinks up at him again, eyes widening with the purest, innocent hope and partial excitement, even though the haze of sickness. "Really?"

Peter gives him a small, sad smile, running a hand through his hair again. "Yeah, baby, we're going home. Come on," He presses a light kiss to his sticky forehead, before pulling him up and into his arms, Jax's body instinctually clinging to his front like a koala, just like he used to when he was a baby, when he was a toddler. Peter holds him up easily, his tiny body nothing to his super strength, and nods once to the nurse who was watching the scene with warm, kind eyes. "Thank you." He mumbles to him quietly, before walking out towards his car, pressing Jax to his chest tightly, protectively.

The ride to their apartment is quiet, quieter than it should be. Jax seems to take after him in the talking sense, he'll talk on and on and on about anything and everything, so to hear him so silent, so quiet...

Just as they pull into the garage, Jax finally speaks up, but what he says makes what's left of Peter's heart stop. "Daddy, I really don't feel good."

"You think you're gonna throw up, buddy?" Peter parks the car in a random spot as he speaks, already scavenging for the plastic bag he knows is by his passengers seat somewhere. The only responce he gets is a wet burp, and Peter scrambles even more, grabbing the plastic bag as soon as it touches his fingers and putting it under Jax's head just in time.

The five year old is gagging, sputtering and sobbing into the plastic bag, looking so pitifully sad, and Peter makes a noise of sympathy, wishing he could do more to help, to make it all go away. But realistically, all he can do is rub the boy's back, and whisper soothing things. "Its okay, bud, let it all out, it's alright."

Once the episode has passed and Jax leans back from the bag, Peter grabs the sleeve of his dress shirt and wipes off his face gently, both of tears and of vomit, knowing that he's staining the shirt but not really caring in the moment. He then ties the bag up, and gets out of the car, unclipping Jax and picking him up again, swaying him gently as he continues to whine and sniffle, shushing him softly.

When they make it up to the apartment, Harley is already there, waiting for them, looking anxious. As soon as his sky blue eyes find Jax, attached to Peter's hip, his entire face softens with sympathy and tenderness. "Hey bubba."

"Papa!" Jax whimpers, bottom lip stuck out and wobbling, face red and tear stained. He holds out a hand, and Harley moves instantly, taking him from Peter's grip and hugging him tightly, bouncing him slowly.

"Shh, I got ya, tesoro." He murmurs quietly, shifting his hold before looking up at Peter with a small smile, already tired eyes. "Hey. I picked up some medicine on the way over here." He nods his head back towards the kitchen, before leaning it against Jax's, holding him a little closer.

"You're a lifesaver." Peter responds, pecking him quickly on the lips before walking to the kitchen to get the medicine ready.

"You're only figuring that out now?" Peter just rolls his eyes at his husband's cheekiness, laughing lightly.

He pours out the medicine, and Jax takes it with very little fuss (read: a few more whines and a few split tears), before they all cuddle together on to the couch, turning on on a movie. Not even ten minutes in, Jax let's out a big yawn, snuggling in closer to Harleys hip, his eyes half lidded, and another ten minutes later, he's out like a light. Peter isn't surprised, it's been a long day for the poor boy. He looks up, and sees Harley staring down at him too, a warm glow to his eyes, a smile tilting his lips. Peter just presses a kiss to his husband's forehead, and shuffles closer, placing his head onto his shoulder.

This day may not have got according to plan, but with his husband and his son at his side, he wouldn't want it any other way.

#febufluff #Febufluff #Sick Day #sickness #vomiting #Jax Parker-Keener #Harley Keener #Peter Parker #Parkner #Parley #harley keener/peter parker #day 9

[verglasregnant]

10 people I’d like to know better

tagged by: @seventhborn

tagging: steal thiiisssss, im tagging you, reading this rn, do it~!!

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ): Xo / Xiomara

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ):  October 27th ( its coming up yall!!!! )

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): Scorpio ( born under Libra influence )

FOUR ( HEIGHT ):  4′11″

FIVE ( HOBBIES ):  RP, writing, reading, art, amongus <3 

SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ):  aight, buckle up gang. I dont have fav books, per se, but I do have authors I follow and devour what they put out. I’m mostly into ya sff and historical fantasy but anyway: I read a lot of Julie Kagawa ( I’m currently making my way through her Shadow of the Fox trilogy, if you like inuyasha i highly recommend this series, her Immortal Rules trilogy is also a fave, think post-apocalyptic future where everything is barren and humans live in city-states run by a ruthless vampire elite where its only through regulated blood donations that they hand out rations to the human population. Main character Allison Sekemoto lives on the outskirts of this society, she is human until early in book one where she’s turned. It really good, I promise!!!! ) Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, y’aaaaallllll!!!!! My girl gave me my first taste of wlw in fiction where they sexuality isn’t the story ( kinda spoiler warning for a 14yr old book, but in book 3 of her Kiesha'ra Series, Oliza, daughter of Danica, a hawk shapeshifter ( narrator of book 1 ) and Zane, a cobra shapeshifter ( narrator of book 2 ) is princess and heir to two thrones that are seeking to unite after countless lifetimes of war, but the people are looking to see what mate she takes on, avian or snake, but Oliza fears this would appear to show favoritism to one faction over another. Unfortunately, she is abducted in an attempt to disrupt the very fragile peace among her people. With help from Betia, a wolf shapeshifter with ptsd and selective mutism, she is able to get back home, but along the way they start falling in love with each other. ) omg.. that’s only two authors and I have like so so many I love!!! Rapid fire, go! ANYTHING BY Ursula K LeGuin, Rick Riordan ( i’m only juuust getting into the PJO series whaaaaattt?!?!?! and his efforts into getting marginalized voices out there is just aaah!!!! i heart this man!  ) John Flanagan ( Ranger's Apprentice is my childhood, fight me ) idk idk , i love so many    t ( : A; t |

EIGHT( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): Warriors - 2WEI ft Edda Hayes

NINE ( LAST FILM WATCHED ): Hocus Pocus ( we are well into Halloween movie watching time.

TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ): re-watching all the Frozen bits of media, the comics, books, bway musical soundtrack, my wonderful rp partners who make me happy with everything they do~

ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): just purple prose for ice queen ngl lmao

#{ memes | answered } #{ sry this got rambly } #{ I heart books } #{ I was gonna start up a bookblr once but ... then I didn’t } #{ ty so so much for the tag!!!}

[chasehermes]

i saw your previous posts about HP, and i think even if you're a fan, you seem pretty open-minded about it. all my friends adore it, and i think i just need to let off some steam. you can ignore this if you want but i think i just need to rant. i love that drama, i really do. it's so well-written, but i'm just annoyed that it was peppered with love lines. my favorite episodes were the first five--when it was free of all the ships and we can freely enjoy the story, their friendship, --

continuation: --and the characters, without the drama of the romance. i would have preferred that song-hwa and ik-jun didn't have the whole iksong love line because it would have been a nice break from all the director's previous works (PP is the main exemption though). and at the same time, the fans (esp in twitter) scare me. they stalk the characters irl and ship them irl, connecting their IG posts together :((( i just dont think about it at all, so i can love the drama but it sucks because for me, it felt like the second half of the season focused more on the chemistry and the romance, rather than the touching stories that they showed in the first six episodes. anyway i am sorry for ranting. i hope you're well. i love that drama to bits and it's a masterpiece, but i think it could have benefited if it established itself as something that didn't pay much details/attention to lovelines. and with all the things they are releasing, i get the feeling that they’re milking the franchise :(( i’m just sad because i also bought khino kit and the vibes aren’t the same anymore. you don’t have to reply to me :(( i'm just sad

Thank you for sending the message. I am honored that you think you can rant to me. I thought about how to deal with this because you left a message as an anon. I was against posting this with the hospital playlist tag because it might draw some flak, especially from the fans, but after some time, I decided to tag it here, just in case you can’t check my actual blog or it gets buried by my reblogs.

Just like you, I love Hospital Playlist. The humor was fun and the characters are lovable. But I have to agree with you when you mentioned that it banked on romance. We might be part of the minority though because there are definitely fans who tuned in to find out which lovelines will actually 'sail’. To relieve myself  of the stress, I just thought o fit this way: HP is a slice-of life, so it is a realistic portrayal. And we have to accept that romance is a part of that life they are trying to portray. Some lovelines did not really sit that well with me. For example, IkSong. The two characters are adorable. Initially, I wanted IkSong to push through so it can portray a healthy relationship between a stepmother and a child. But after much thinking, I ended up wishing that  the writer kept Ik-jun as a cool single dad and Song-hwa as a woman in her 40s who can find new love or not end up with anyone at all. 

Why? Because single dads exist, and we rarely get a portrayal of a single father who is also a doctor. Because it would be a nice to message to the viewers if Song-hwa can meet someone new and outside of her circle of friends. Or because there are single women (and men) who actually enjoy being single. Because it would be nice to see a woman help her bestfriend (who is a man) raise his kid without either of them developing feelings for each other. 

The only loveline that I genuinely enjoyed was Bidulgi :) GomGom was cute. But I looked forward more to Min-ha’s growing respect for Seok-hyeong as a professor and Seok-hyeong’s journey to heal his own trauma. Like you, I wished it ocused more on doctors, nurses, and other members of th medical community interacted (including the physical and occupational therapists, pscyhiatrists, med techs, etc.), but without the romance to draw the viewers in, I don’t know if the drama will receive that much of love. 

Anyway, about the fans on twitter. It really does happen. It’s not just on HP. But yeah, I have a friend who also ranted to me about this once--the whole WinterGarden shipping extending to YYS and SHB in real life. Sadly, we can’t really do anything about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, maybe you can just refrain from checking the hashtags? Or you can unfollow people who are posting about them? Unfortunately, celebrities don’t get the privacy some of us can have.

It’s nice that it has a season 2 (and 3), but I guess South Korea will be seeing the downside of having a show that also shows the romance between characters. Actually, of having a slice of life drama that is multi-seasonal. It’s easier for Kingdom and Stranger because the focus is mosly on the plot. But for HP cast, it might be more difficult for them to get out of the mold or the character that they are portraying in the drama -- at least in the eyes of the viewers. And of course, they have to be careful about the details of their personal lives.  I don’t think any of the cast members will be announcing anything about their dating life until the whole show is over because it might ruin the on-screen chemistry for some viewers. 

You can call it milking the franchise, others might go for promoting. We really can’t do anything about that, so maybe it’s best if you mute it from your search engine or something to that effect? I know some people who preferred to have the drama set at 20 episodes rather than the whole season 1 and 2 format because they don’t really like how some fans gush about every single announcement/detail or do the other Twitter games that the fandom has. I guess it’s just a matter of preference :)

Anyway, I hope you feel better because you got to talk about it. Don’t worry you’re not alone in your sentiments. I have friends who feel the same way. Just drop by my ask (preferrably, not anon so we can have a nice private chat instead?). Just remember the phrase To Each His Own. Just watch the show and patiently wait for HP season 2. If it helps, I guess you can also stay away from social media.  There are lots of good dramas that you can tune into. Right now, I’m watching It’s Okay To Not Be Okay, and the pacing and aesthetics are satisfying, and I am getting some healing and cathartic moments from it. It deals with mental health so proceed with caution, especially if it is a topic that you find especially sensitive. 

Take care. :) 

#hospital playlist #ask #anon #sorry for putting this here but someone sent an ask and i wasnt sure how to reply since it was anon #kdrama #wise doctor life